Albert Einstein

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      <text bytes="408365" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Albert Einstein Head.jpg|thumb|A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer [[life]] are based on the [[labors]] of other men, living and [[dead]], and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.]]
[[File:Albert Einstein photo 1920.jpg|220px|thumb|Socialism is directed towards a social-ethical end. Science, however, cannot create ends and, even less, instill them in human beings; science, at most, can supply the means by which to attain certain ends. But the ends themselves are conceived by personalities with lofty ethical ideals and — if these ends are not stillborn, but vital and vigorous — are adopted and carried forward by those many human beings who, half unconsciously, determine the slow evolution of society.]]
[[File: Antonio Bisquert (1906-1990).JPG|thumb|Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.]]
[[File:Albert_Einstein_as_a_child.jpg|thumb|Blind obedience to [[authority]] is the greatest [[enemy]] of [[truth]].]]

'''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[1879]] – [[18 April]] [[1955]]) was a German-born (Jewish) theoretical [[w:physicist|physicist]], widely acknowledged to be one of the greatest physicists of all time. Einstein is known for developing the [[w:theory of relativity|theory of relativity]], but he also made important contributions to the development of the theory of [[w:quantum mechanics|quantum mechanics]]. Together, relativity and quantum mechanics are the two pillars of [[w:modern physics|modern physics]]. He won the 1921 [[w:Nobel Prize in Physics|Nobel Prize in Physics]] for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]].
:See also:
::'''[[Albert Einstein and politics]]'''
::'''[[Annus Mirabilis papers|''Annus Mirabilis'' papers]]'''
::'''[[EPR paradox]]'''
::'''''[[The Meaning of Relativity]]'''''
::'''[[On the Method of Theoretical Physics]]'''
::'''[[Bohr–Einstein debates]]'''

== Quotes ==
&lt;!-- Please keep chronology of quotes --&gt;

=== 1890s ===
[[File:Albert_Einstein_at_the_age_of_three_(1882).jpg|thumb|A [[happy]] man is too [[satisfied]] with the [[present]] to dwell too much on the [[future]].]]
* ''Un homme heureux est trop content du présent pour trop se soucier de l'avenir.'' 
** A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.
** From &quot;Mes Projets d'Avenir&quot;, a French essay written at age 17 for a school exam (18 September 1896). ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'' Vol. 1 (1987) Doc. 22.

=== 1900s ===
[[File:Einstein-with-habicht-and-solovine.jpg|thumb|The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.]]
[[File:E=mc2.png|thumb|The mass of a body is a [[measure]] of its [[energy]] content.]]

* ''Autoritätsdusel ist der größte Feind der Wahrheit.''
** Blind obedience to authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
** Letter to Jost Winteler (July 8th, 1901), quoted in ''The Private Lives of Albert Einstein'' by Roger Highfield and Paul Carter (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=zY7FE9ZyDO0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA79#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 79]. Einstein had been annoyed that [[wikipedia:Paul Drude|Paul Drude]], editor of ''Annalen der Physik'', had dismissed some criticisms Einstein made of Drude's electron theory of metals.

* ''Lieber Habicht! / Es herrscht ein weihevolles Stillschweigen zwischen uns, so daß es mir fast wie eine sündige Entweihung vorkommt, wenn ich es jetzt durch ein wenig bedeutsames Gepappel unterbreche... / Was machen Sie denn, Sie eingefrorener Walfisch, Sie getrocknetes, eingebüchstes Stück Seele...?''
** Dear Habicht, / Such a solemn air of silence has descended between us that I almost feel as if I am committing a sacrilege when I break it now with some inconsequential babble... / What are you up to, you frozen whale, you smoked, dried, canned piece of soul...?
** Opening of a letter to his friend Conrad Habicht in which he describes his four revolutionary [[Annus Mirabilis papers]] (18 or 25 May 1905) [http://einsteinpapers.press.princeton.edu/vol5-doc/81?ajax Doc. 27]

* '''E = mc²'''
** The equivalence of mass and energy was originally expressed by the equation '''m&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;L/c²''', which easily translates into the far more well-known '''E&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;mc²''' in ''[http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/einstein/E_mc2/www/ Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?]'' published in the ''Annalen der Physik'' (27 September 1905) : &quot;If a body gives off the energy L in the form of radiation, its mass diminishes by L/c².&quot;
** In a later statement explaining the ideas expressed by this equation, Einstein summarized: '''&quot;It followed from the special theory of relativity that mass and energy are both but different manifestations of the same thing — a somewhat unfamiliar conception for the average mind. Furthermore, the equation E&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;mc², in which energy is put equal to mass, multiplied by the square of the velocity of light, showed that very small amounts of mass may be converted into a very large amount of energy and vice versa. The mass and energy were in fact equivalent, according to the formula mentioned before. This was demonstrated by Cockcroft and Walton in 1932, experimentally.&quot;''' 
*** ''Atomic Physics'' (1948) by the J. Arthur Rank Organisation, Ltd. ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTlpJ9ue04w Voice of A. Einstein.])

* '''The mass of a body is a measure of its energy content.'''
** ''Ist die Trägheit eines Körpers von seinem Energieinhalt abhängig?'' (&quot;Does the inertia of a body depend upon its energy content?&quot;)
** ''Annalen der Physik 18'', 639-641 (1905). Quoted in ''Concepts of Mass in Classical and Modern Physics'' by Max Jammer (1961), [http://books.google.com/books?id=lYvz0_8aGsMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA177#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 177]

* '''We shall, therefore, assume the complete physical equivalence of a gravitational field and a corresponding acceleration of the reference system.'''
** Statement of the [[wikipedia:equivalence principle|equivalence principle]] in ''Yearbook of Radioactivity and Electronics'' (1907)

=== 1910s === 
[[File:Most_distant_Gamma-ray_burst.jpg|thumb|[[Nature]] shows us only the tail of the [[lion]]. But there is no [[doubt]] in my [[mind]] that the lion belongs with it even if he cannot reveal himself to the [[eye]] all at once because of his huge dimension.]]
[[File:1919_eclipse_positive.jpg|thumb|It is by no means an idle [[game]] if we become practiced in analyzing long-held commonplace concepts and showing the [[circumstances]] on which their justification and usefulness depend...]]

* ''Die Natur zeigt uns vom Löwen zwar nur den Schwanz. Aber es ist mir unzweifelhaft, dass der Löwe dazugehört, wenn er sich auch wegen seiner ungeheuren Dimensionen dem Blicke nicht unmittelbar offenbaren kann. Wir sehen ihn nur wie eine Laus, die auf ihm sitzt.''
** Nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But there is no doubt in my mind that the lion belongs with it even if he cannot reveal himself to the eye all at once because of his huge dimension. We see him only the way a louse sitting upon him would.
** Letter to Heinrich Zangger (10 March 1914), quoted in ''The Curious History of Relativity'' by Jean Eisenstaedt (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=d2bnXTOtCD8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA126#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 126].
** Variant: &quot;Nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But I do not doubt that the lion belongs to it even though he cannot at once reveal himself because of his enormous size.&quot; As quoted by Abraham Pais in ''Subtle is the Lord:The Science and Life of Albert Einstein'' (1982), p. 235 &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0-192-80672-6}} &lt;/small&gt;

* ''Man begreift schwer beim Erleben dieser &quot;großen Zeit&quot;, daß man dieser verrückten, verkommenen Spezies angehört, die sich Willensfreiheit zuschreibt. Wenn es doch irgendwo eine Insel der Wohlwollenden und Besonnenen gäbe! Da wollte ich auch glühender Patriot sein.''
** In living through this &quot;great epoch,&quot; it is difficult to reconcile oneself to the fact that one belongs to that mad, degenerate species that boasts of its free will. How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will! In such a place even I should be an ardent patriot!
** Letter to [[wikipedia:Paul Ehrenfest|Paul Ehrenfest]], early December 1914. ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 8, Doc. 39. Quoted in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 3

* ''Es ist bequem mit dem Einstein. Jedes Jahr widerruft er, was er das vorige Jahr geschrieben hat.''
** It's convenient with that fellow Einstein, every year he retracts what he wrote the year before. 
** Letter to Paul Ehrenfest, 26 December 1915. ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 8, Doc. 173.

* '''How does it happen that a properly endowed natural scientist comes to concern himself with [[wikipedia:Epistemology|epistemology]]?''' Is there not some more valuable work to be done in his specialty? That's what I hear many of my colleagues ask, and I sense it from many more. But I cannot share this sentiment. When I think about the ablest students whom I have encountered in my teaching — that is, those who distinguish themselves by their independence of judgment and not just their quick-wittedness — I can affirm that they had a vigorous interest in epistemology. They happily began discussions about the goals and methods of science, and they showed unequivocally, through tenacious defense of their views, that the subject seemed important to them.&lt;br /&gt; '''Concepts that have proven useful in ordering things easily achieve such authority over us that we forget their earthly origins and accept them as unalterable givens.''' [''Begriffe, welche sich bei der Ordnung der Dinge als nützlich erwiesen haben, erlangen über uns leicht eine solche Autorität, dass wir ihres irdischen Ursprungs vergessen und sie als unabänderliche Gegebenheiten hinnehmen.''] Thus they might come to be stamped as &quot;necessities of thought,&quot; &quot;a priori givens,&quot; etc. The path of scientific progress is often made impassable for a long time by such errors. [''Der Weg des wissenschaftlichen Fortschritts wird durch solche Irrtümer oft für längere Zeit ungangbar gemacht''.] '''Therefore it is by no means an idle game if we become practiced in analysing long-held commonplace concepts and showing the circumstances on which their justification and usefulness depend, and how they have grown up, individually, out of the givens of experience. Thus their excessive authority will be broken.''' They will be removed if they cannot be properly legitimated, corrected if their correlation with given things be far too superfluous, or replaced if a new system can be established that we prefer for whatever reason.
** Obituary for physicist and philosopher [[Ernst Mach]] (''Nachruf auf Ernst Mach''), ''Physikalische Zeitschrift'' 17 (1916), p. 101

* ...to the question whether or not the motion of the Earth in space can be made perceptible in terrestrial experiments. We have already remarked... that all attempts of this nature led to a negative result. Before the theory of relativity was put forward, it was difficult to become reconciled to this negative result.
** ''[https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/einstein/works/1910s/relative/index.htm Relativity – The Special and General Theory]'' (1916), Part I: The Special Theory of Relativity, Experience and the Special Theory of Relativity

* ''Unser ganzer gepriesener Fortschritt der Technik, überhaupt die Civilisation, ist der Axt in der Hand des pathologischen Verbrechers vergleichbar.'' 
** Our entire much-praised technological progress, and civilization generally, could be compared to an axe in the hand of a pathological criminal.
** Letter to Heinrich Zangger (1917), as quoted in ''A Sense of the Mysterious: Science and the Human Spirit'' by Alan Lightman (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-yo_gVxMs6MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA110#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 110], and in ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' by Albrecht Fölsing (1997), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Kmm0foYfvQAC&amp;q=%22compared+to+an+axe%22#search_anchor p. 399]
** Sometimes paraphrased as &quot;Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.&quot;

* The most beautiful fate of a physical theory is to point the way to the establishment of a more inclusive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.
** (1917) as quoted by {{w|Gerald Holton}}, ''The Advancement of Science, and Its Burdens: the Jefferson Lecture and Other Essays'' (1986)

* ''Ich habe auch manchen wissenschaftlichen Plan überlegt, während ich Dich im Kinderwagen spazieren schob!''
** I have also considered many scientific plans during my pushing you around in your pram!
** Letter to his son [[wikipedia:Hans Albert Einstein|Hans Albert Einstein]] (June 1918)

* ''Geh Recht viel spazieren, dass Du Recht gesund wirst und lies nicht gar zu viel sondern spar Dir noch was auf bis Du gross bist.''
** Make a lot of walks to get healthy and don't read that much but save yourself some until you're grown up.
** Letter to his son [[wikipedia:Eduard Einstein|Eduard Einstein]] (June 1918)

* &quot;The physical world is real.&quot; That is supposed to be the fundamental hypothesis. What does &quot;hypothesis&quot; mean here? For me, a hypothesis is a statement, whose truth must be assumed for the moment, but whose meaning must be raised above all ambiguity. The above statement appears to me, however, to be, in itself, meaningless, as if one said: &quot;The physical world is cock-a-doodle-do.&quot; It appears to me that the &quot;real&quot; is an intrinsically empty, meaningless category (pigeon hole), whose monstrous importance lies only in the fact that I can do certain things in it and not certain others.
** Letter to Eduard Study, 25 Sept. 1918, in the Einstein Archive, Hebrew U., Jerusalem; translation in D. Howard, ''Perspectives on Science'' '''1''', 225 (1993).

* I lie on the beach like a crocodile and let myself be roasted by the sun. I never see a newspaper and don't give a damn for what is called the world. 
** Letter to Max Born, 1918, from The Born-Einstein Letters: Friendship, Politics and Physics in Uncertain Times, Macmillan (2005 edition), pg 7. 

* ''Liebe Mutter! Heute eine freudige Nachricht. [[wikipedia:Hendrik Lorentz|H. A. Lorentz]] hat mir telegraphiert, dass die englischen Expeditionen die Lichtablenkung an der Sonne wirklich bewiesen haben.''
** Dear mother! Today a joyful notice. H. A. Lorentz has telegraphed me that the English expeditions have really proven the deflection of light at the sun.
** Postcard to his mother [[wikipedia:Pauline Koch|Pauline Einstein]] (1919)

* ''Noch eine Art Anwendung des Relativitätsprinzips zum Ergötzen des Lesers: Heute werde ich in Deutschland als &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot;, in England als &quot;Schweizer Jude&quot; bezeichnet; sollte ich aber einst in die Lage kommen, als &quot;bète noire&quot; präsentiert zu werden, dann wäre ich umgekehrt für die Deutschen ein „Schweizer Jude&quot;, für die Engländer ein &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot;.''
** By an application of the theory of relativity to the taste of readers, today in Germany I am called a German man of science, and in England I am represented as a Swiss Jew. If I come to be represented as a bête noire, the descriptions will be reversed, and I shall become a Swiss Jew for the Germans and a German man of science for the English!
** {{citation
|title=Einstein On His Theory
|journal=The Times
|location=London
|date=1919-11-28
|url=http://archive.timesonline.co.uk/tol/viewArticle.arc?articleId=ARCHIVE-The_Times-1919-11-28-13-011&amp;pageId=ARCHIVE-The_Times-1919-11-28-13}}, quoted in Herman Bernstein: Celebrities of Our Time. New York 1924. p. 267 ([http://www.archive.org/details/celebritiesofour000452mbp archive.org]). Einstein's original German text in ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein''. Volume 7. Doc. 25 p. 210, and at [http://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/docpage.cfm?docpage_id=5438&amp;language=german germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org] after Albert Einstein, Mein Weltbild. Amsterdam: Querido Verlag, 1934, pp. 220-28. Manuscript at [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Digital/EAR000033998#page/7/mode/2up alberteinstein.info].
** Variant: If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew. (Address to the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922); French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378] and ''Berliner Tageblatt'' (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535])
** Variant translation: If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will say I am a man of the world. If it's proven wrong, France will say I am a German and Germany will say I am a Jew.
** Variant: If relativity is proved right the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss will call me a Swiss citizen, and the French will call me a great scientist. If relativity is proved wrong the French will call me a Swiss, the Swiss will call me a German and the Germans will call me a Jew.

==== ''Principles of Research'' (1918) ====

[[File:Buddhabrot-deep.png|thumb|The state of [[mind]] which enables a man to do [[work]] of this kind is akin to that of the [[religious]] [[worshiper]] or the [[lover]]; the daily effort comes from no deliberate intention or program, but straight from the [[heart]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;[http://www.site.uottawa.ca/~yymao/misc/Einstein_PlanckBirthday.html Address at the Physical Society, Berlin, for Max Planck's 60th birthday]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''In the temple of science are many mansions, and various indeed are they that dwell therein and the motives that have led them thither.''' Many take to science out of a joyful sense of superior intellectual power; science is their own special sport to which they look for vivid experience and the satisfaction of ambition; many others are to be found in the temple who have offered the products of their brains on this altar for purely utilitarian purposes. '''Were an angel of the Lord to come and drive all the people belonging to these two categories out of the temple, the assemblage would be seriously depleted, but there would still be some men, of both present and past times, left inside. Our [[Max Planck|Planck]] is one of them, and that is why we love him.'''&lt;br /&gt; I am quite aware that we have just now lightheartedly expelled in imagination many excellent men who are largely, perhaps chiefly, responsible for the buildings of the temple of science; and in many cases, our angel would find it a pretty ticklish job to decide. But of one thing I feel sure: if the types we have just expelled were the only types there were, the temple would never have come to be, any more than a forest can grow which consists of nothing but creepers. For these people any sphere of human activity will do if it comes to a point; whether they become engineers, officers, tradesmen, or scientists depends on circumstances.&lt;br /&gt;Now let us have another look at those who have found favor with the angel. '''Most of them are somewhat odd, uncommunicative, solitary fellows, really less like each other, in spite of these common characteristics, than the hosts of the rejected. What has brought them to the temple? That is a difficult question and no single answer will cover it.'''

* '''The state of mind which enables a man to do work of this kind is akin to that of the religious worshiper or the lover; the daily effort comes from no deliberate intention or program, but straight from the heart.'''

* '''Man tries to make for himself in the fashion that suits him best a simplified and intelligible picture of the world; he then tries to some extent to substitute this cosmos of his for the world of experience, and thus to overcome it. This is what the painter, the poet, the speculative philosopher, and the natural scientist do, each in his own fashion.''' Each makes this cosmos and its construction the pivot of his emotional life, in order to find in this way the peace and security which he cannot find in the narrow whirlpool of personal experience.
** Variant translation: One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought. With this negative motive goes a positive one. '''Man seeks to form for himself, in whatever manner is suitable for him, a simplified and lucid image of the world, and so to overcome the world of experience by striving to replace it to some extent by this image. This is what the painter does, and the poet, the speculative philosopher, the natural scientist, each in his own way. Into this image and its formation, he places the center of gravity of his emotional life, in order to attain the peace and serenity that he cannot find within the narrow confines of swirling personal experience.'''
** As quoted in ''The Professor, the Institute, and DNA'' (1976) by Rene Dubos; also in ''The Great Influenza'' (2004) by John M. Barry

* But what can be the attraction of getting to know such a tiny section of nature thoroughly, while one leaves everything subtler and more complex shyly and timidly alone? Does the product of such a modest effort deserve to be called by the proud name of a theory of the universe? In my belief the name is justified; '''for the general laws on which the structure of theoretical physics is based claim to be valid for any natural phenomenon whatsoever. With them, it ought to be possible to arrive at the description, that is to say, the theory, of every natural process, including life, by means of pure deduction, if that process of deduction were not far beyond the capacity of the human intellect.''' The physicist's renunciation of completeness for his cosmos is therefore not a matter of fundamental principle.

* '''The supreme task of the physicist is to arrive at those universal elementary laws from which the cosmos can be built up by pure deduction. There is no logical path to these laws; only intuition, resting on sympathetic understanding of experience, can reach them.''' In this methodological uncertainty, one might suppose that there were any number of possible systems of theoretical physics all equally well justified; and this opinion is no doubt correct, theoretically. But the development of physics has shown that at any given moment, out of all conceivable constructions, a single one has always proved itself decidedly superior to all the rest.
** Variant, from Preface to [[Max Planck]]'s ''Where is Science Going?'' (1933): The supreme task of the physicist is the discovery of the most general elementary laws from which the world-picture can be deduced logically. But there is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance, and this ''Einfühlung'' [literally, empathy or 'feeling one's way in']' is developed by experience.

=== 1920s ===
[[File:Spinoza.jpg|thumb|''How much do I [[love]] [[Baruch Spinoza|that noble man]]&lt;br /&gt;
More than I could tell with [[words]]...'']]
[[File:Old_Jerusalem_Jewish_Quarter_street_Mosaic_12_tribes.JPG|thumb|I am a [[Jew]] and glad to belong to the Jewish [[people]], though I do not regard it in any way as chosen.]]
[[File:Albert_Einstein_photo_1921.jpg|thumb| Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not.]]
[[File:Einstein_1921_by_F_Schmutzer_-_restoration.jpg|thumb| The [[value]] of a college [[education]] is not the [[learning]] of many [[facts]] but the [[training]] of the [[mind]] to [[think]].]]
[[File:PNG_transparency_demonstration_1.png|thumb|The [[theory]] says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the [[secret]] of the &quot;old one.&quot; I, at any rate, am convinced that ''He'' does not throw dice.]]
[[File:Hoag's_object.jpg|thumb|I [[believe]] in [[Spinoza]]'s [[God]], Who reveals Himself in the lawful [[harmony]] of the [[world]], not in a God Who concerns Himself with the [[fate]] and the doings of [[mankind]].]]

* ''Wie lieb ich diesen edlen Mann&lt;br /&gt;  Mehr als ich mit Worten sagen kann.&lt;br /&gt;  Doch fürcht' ich, dass er bleibt allein&lt;br /&gt;  Mit seinem strahlenden Heiligenschein.''
** How much do I love that noble man&lt;br /&gt;More than I could tell with words&lt;br /&gt;I fear though he'll remain alone&lt;br /&gt;With a holy halo of his own.
** Poem by Einstein on [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] (1920), as quoted in [http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&amp;q=cache:i-4Gd4RHW3gJ:press.princeton.edu/chapters/s6681.pdf+max+jammer&amp;hl=de&amp;gl=de&amp;pid=bl&amp;srcid=ADGEESjMqxYX4kB2T1bfEXiMcwf_HE3uetROnsVm99yTeJxLw-8CHBpPjK16CpXW7n5wuR5wFLq5Yxgo14sSpVSTYXTmTT1DPz4pDDl4_z5eFR7mVqZn3ei9vF-rVVrRfwITDQeH7I5F&amp;sig=AHIEtbShlMEqHZfrr0q5IJtYTNouk3VxAg ''Einstein and Religion'' by Max Jammer, Princeton UP 1999], p. 43; original German manuscript: [http://www.autodidactproject.org/other/einstein9-spinoza8.html &quot;Zu Spinozas Ethik&quot;].

* We may assume the existence of an aether; only we must give up ascribing a definite state of motion to it, i.e. we must by abstraction take from it the last mechanical characteristic which Lorentz had still left it. ... But this ether may not be thought of as endowed with the quality characteristic of ponderable inedia, as consisting of parts which may be tracked through time. The idea of motion may not be applied to it.
** On the irrelevance of the luminiferous aether hypothesis to physical measurements, in an address at the University of Leiden (5 May 1920)

* I am neither a German citizen nor do I believe in anything that can be described as a &quot;Jewish faith.&quot; But I am a Jew and glad to belong to the Jewish people, though I do not regard it in any way as chosen.
** Letter to Central Association of German Citizens of the Jewish Faith, 3 [5] April 1920, as quoted in Alice Calaprice, ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' (2010), p. 195; citing ''Israelitisches Wochenblatt'', 42 September 1920, The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein, Vol. 7, Doc. 37, and Vol. 9, Doc 368.&lt;!-- obviously, parts of this can be taken out of context --&gt;

* ''Es ist das schönste Los einer physikalischen Theorie, wenn sie selbst zur Aufstellung einer umfassenden Theorie den Weg weist, in welcher sie als Grenzfall weiterlebt.''
** No fairer destiny could be allotted to any physical theory, than that it should of itself point out the way to the introduction of a more comprehensive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.
** ''Über die spezielle und die allgemeine Relativitätstheorie'' (1920) Tr. Robert W. Lawson, ''Relativity: The Special and General Theory'' (1920) pp. 90-91.

* ''Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht.''
** '''Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not.'''
** Remark made during Einstein's first visit to Princeton University (April 1921) as quoted in ''Einstein'' (1973) by R. W. Clark, Ch. 14. &quot;God is slick, but he ain't mean&quot; is a variant translation of this (1946) Unsourced variant: &quot;God is subtle but he is not malicious.&quot;
** When asked what he meant by this he replied. &quot;Nature hides her secret because of her essential loftiness, but not by means of ruse.&quot; (''Die Natur verbirgt ihr Geheimnis durch die Erhabenheit ihres Wesens, aber nicht durch List.'') As quoted in ''Subtle is the Lord — The Science and the Life of Albert Einstein'' (1982) by Abraham Pais &lt;!-- Clarendon Press, Oxford, and Oxford University Press, New York --&gt; [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/faith.html einsteinandreligion.com]
*** Originally said to Princeton University mathematics professor Oscar Veblen, May 1921, while Einstein was in Princeton for a series of lectures, upon hearing that an experimental result by Dayton C. Miller of Cleveland, if true, would contradict his theory of gravitation. But the claimed discrepancy was quite small and required special circumstances (hence Einsteins's remark). The result turned out to be false. Some say by this remark Einstein meant that Nature hides her secrets by being subtle, while others say he meant that nature is mischievous but not bent on trickery. [The Yale Book of Quotations, ed. Fred R. Shapiro, 2006]
** Variant translation: God may be sophisticated, but he's not malicious.
*** As quoted in ''Cherished Illusions'' (2005) by Sarah Stern, p. 109
** '''I have second thoughts. Maybe God ''is'' malicious'''.
** Said to [[wikipedia: Valentine Bargmann|Valentine Bargmann]], as quoted in ''Einstein in America'' (1985) by Jamie Sayen, p. 51, indicating that God leads people to believe they understand things that they actually are far from understanding; also in ''The Yale Book of Quotations'' (2006), ed. Fred R. Shapiro

* When a man after long years of searching chances on a thought which discloses something of the beauty of this mysterious universe, he should not therefore be personally celebrated. He is already sufficiently paid by his experience of seeking and finding. '''In science, moreover, the work of the individual is so bound up with that of his scientific predecessors and contemporaries that it appears almost as an impersonal product of his generation.'''
** From the story &quot;The Progress of Science&quot; in ''The Scientific Monthly'' edited by J. McKeen Cattell ([http://books.google.com/books?id=453muO-6N4kC&amp;pg=PA488-IA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false June 1921]), Vol. XII, No. 6. The story says that the comments were made at the annual meeting of the National Academy of Sciences at the National Museum in Washington on April 25, 26, and 27. Einstein's comments appear on [http://books.google.com/books?id=453muO-6N4kC&amp;pg=PA579#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 579], though the story may be paraphrasing rather than directly quoting since it says &quot;In reply Professor Einstein in substance said&quot; the quote above.

* '''[I do not] carry such information in my mind since it is readily available in books. ...The value of a college education is not the learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think.'''
** In response to not knowing the speed of sound as included in the Edison Test: ''New York Times'' (18 May 1921); ''Einstein: His Life and Times'' (1947) Philipp Frank, p. 185; ''Einstein, A Life'' (1996) by Denis Brian, p. 129; &quot;Einstein Due Today&quot; (February 2005) edited by József Illy, Manuscript 25-32 of the Einstein Paper Project; all previous sources as per ''Einstein His Life and Universe'' (2007) by Walter Isaacson, p. 299
** Unsourced variants: &quot;I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book&quot; and &quot;Never memorize what you can look up in books.&quot; (The second version is found in [http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/world/world-record.html &quot;Recording the Experience&quot; (10 June 2004) at The Library of Congress],&lt;!--Found roughly 1/4 down the page--&gt; but no citation to Einstein's writings is given).

* Insofern sich die Sätze der Mathematik auf die Wirklichkeit beziehen, sind sie nicht sicher, und insofern sie sicher sind, beziehen sie sich nicht auf die Wirklichkeit. 
** '''In so far as theories of mathematics speak about reality, they are not certain, and in so far as they are certain, they do not speak about reality.'''
** ''Geometrie and Erfahrung'' (1921) [http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007%2F978-3-642-49903-6_1#page-1 pp. 3-4 link.springer.com] as cited by [[Karl Popper]], ''The Two Fundamental Problems of the Theory of Knowledge'' (2014) Tr. Andreas Pickel, Ed. Troels Eggers Hansen.

* I was sitting in a chair in the patent office at Bern when all of sudden a thought occurred to me: ''If a person falls freely he will not feel his own weight.'' I was startled. This simple thought made a deep impression on me. It impelled me toward a theory of gravitation.
** Einstein in his Kyoto address (14 December 1922), talking about the events of &quot;probably the 2nd or 3rd weeks&quot; of October 1907, quoted in [http://www.worldnpa.org/pdf/abstracts/abstracts_23.pdf ''Why Did Einstein Put So Much Emphasis on the Equivalence Principle?'' by Dr. Robert J. Heaston] in ''Equivalence Principle – April 2008'' (15th NPA Conference) who cites A. Einstein. &quot;How I Constructed the Theory of Relativity,&quot; Translated by Masahiro Morikawa from the text recorded in Japanese by Jun Ishiwara, Association of Asia Pacific Physical Societies (AAPPS) Bulletin, Vol. 15, No. 2, pp. 17-19 (April 2005)&lt;!-- Einstein recalls events of 1907 in talk in Japan on 14 December 1922. --&gt;

* I have come to believe that the motion of the Earth cannot be detected by any optical experiment.
** ''How I Created the Theory of Relativity'', speech at Kyoto University, Japan, December 14, 1922, as cited in ''Physics Today'', August, 1982.

* May they not forget to keep pure the great heritage that puts them ahead of the West: the artistic configuration of life, the simplicity and modesty of personal needs, and the purity and serenity of the Japanese soul.
** Comment made after a six-week trip to Japan in November-December 1922, published in ''Kaizo'' 5, no. 1 (January 1923), 339. Einstein Archive 36-477.1. Appears in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 269

* ''Die Quantenmechanik ist sehr achtung-gebietend. Aber eine innere Stimme sagt mir, daß das doch nicht der wahre Jakob ist. Die Theorie liefert viel, aber dem Geheimnis des Alten bringt sie uns kaum näher. Jedenfalls bin ich überzeugt, daß der nicht würfelt.''
** Quantum mechanics is certainly imposing. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. The theory says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the secret of the &quot;old one.&quot; '''I, at any rate, am convinced that ''He'' does not throw dice.'''
** Letter to [[wikipedia:Max Born|Max Born]] (4 December 1926); ''The Born-Einstein Letters'' (translated by Irene Born) (Walker and Company, New York, 1971) &lt;!-- p. 90 --&gt; &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0-8027-0326-7}}&lt;/small&gt;.
** Einstein himself used variants of this quote at other times. For example, in a 1943 conversation with William Hermanns recorded in Hermanns' book ''Einstein and the Poet'', Einstein said: '''&quot;As I have said so many times, God doesn't play dice with the world.&quot;''' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA58#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 58])

* '''Whether you can observe a thing or not depends on the theory which you use. It is the theory which decides what can be observed.'''
** Objecting to the placing of observables at the heart of the new quantum mechanics, during Heisenberg's 1926 lecture at Berlin; related by Heisenberg, quoted in ''Unification of Fundamental Forces'' (1990) &lt;!-- p. 98-101 --&gt; by Abdus Salam &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0521371406}}&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible concatenations, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion. To that extent I am, in point of fact, religious.'''
** p. 157 London: Weidenfeld and Nicolson
** Response to atheist [[wikipedia:Alfred Kerr|Alfred Kerr]] in the winter of 1927, who after deriding ideas of God and religion at a dinner party in the home of the publisher [[wikipedia:Samuel Fischer|Samuel Fischer]], had queried him &quot;I hear that ''you'' are supposed to be deeply religious&quot; as quoted in ''The Diary of a Cosmopolitan'' (1971) by H. G. Kessler

* ''Ich glaube an Spinozas Gott, der sich in der gesetzlichen Harmonie des Seienden offenbart, nicht an einen Gott, der sich mit Schicksalen und Handlungen der Menschen abgibt.''
** I believe in [[Spinoza]]'s God, Who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world, not in a God Who concerns Himself with the fate and the doings of mankind.
** 24 April 1929 in response to the telegrammed question of New York's Rabbi Herbert S. Goldstein: &quot;Do you believe in God? Stop. Answer paid 50 words.&quot; Einstein replied in only 27 (German) words. [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F10B1EFC3E54167A93C7AB178FD85F4D8285F9 The New York Times 25 April 1929]
** Similarly, in a letter to [[wikipedia:Maurice Solovine|Maurice Solovine]], he wrote: &quot;I can understand your aversion to the use of the term 'religion' to describe an emotional and psychological attitude which shows itself most clearly in Spinoza... I have not found a better expression than 'religious' for the trust in the rational nature of reality that is, at least to a certain extent, accessible to human reason.&quot;
*** As quoted in [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/spinoza.html ''Einstein : Science and Religion''] by Arnold V. Lesikar

* '''If A is success in life, then A = x + y + z. Work is x, play is y and z is keeping your mouth shut.'''
** Said to Samuel J Woolf, Berlin, Summer 1929. Cited with additional notes in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice and [[Freeman Dyson]], Princeton UP (2010) p 230

* '''Science is international but its success is based on institutions, which are owned by nations. If therefore, we wish to promote culture we have to combine and to organize institutions with our own power and means.'''
** When asked the question, &quot;Why a 'Jewish' University?&quot; when Einstein was assisting Chaim Weizmann in fundraising for The [[wikipedia:Hebrew University of Jerusalem|Hebrew University of Jerusalem]].
*** As quoted in [Albert Einstein, Letter &quot;Einstein in Singapore.&quot; Manchester Guardian, October 12, 1929]

==== ''Sidelights on Relativity'' (1922) ====
: &lt;small&gt;'' Sidelights on Relativity'' (1922), translation by GB Jeffrey and W Perrett of ''&quot;Äther und Relativitätstheorie&quot;'' (Aether and Relativity Theory), a talk given on 5 May 1920 at the University of Leiden, and ''&quot;Geometrie und Erfahrung&quot;'' (Geometry and Experience), a lecture given at the Prussian Academy published in ''Sitzungsberichte der Preussischen Akademie der Wissenschaften'', 1921 (pt. 1), pp. 123–130&lt;/small&gt;
* How can it be that mathematics, being, after all, a product of human thought which is independent of experience, is so admirably appropriate to the objects of reality? Is human reason, then, without experience, merely by taking thought, able to fathom the properties of real things?

* One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts.

==== Viereck interview (1929) ====
: &lt;small&gt;&quot;What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck&quot; ''The Saturday Evening Post'' (26 October 1929), p. 17. A scan of the article is available online [http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf here]. A transcription is available [https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/vierecks-interview-einstein-1929-francesco-vissani-phd/ here]. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Einstein_gyro_gravity_probe_b.jpg|thumb|I am enough of an [[artist]] to draw freely upon my [[imagination]]. Imagination is more important than [[knowledge]]. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the [[world]].]]
[[File:Tiffany_Jesus_Window_in_Pullman_Memorial_Universalist_Church.jpg|thumb|I am a [[Jew]], but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of [[Jesus|the Nazarene]].]]
[[File:Wassilij_Dimitriewitsch_Polenow_005.jpg|thumb|No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of [[Jesus]]. His [[personality]] pulsates in every [[word]]. No [[myth]] is filled with such [[life]].]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv_Bild_102-00487A,_Albert_Einstein.jpg|thumb|I look upon myself as a man. [[Nationalism]] is an infantile [[disease]]. It is the measles of [[mankind]].]]

* The meaning of relativity has been widely misunderstood. Philosophers play with the word, like a child with a doll. Relativity, as I see it, merely denotes that certain physical and mechanical facts, which have been regarded as positive and permanent, are relative with regard to certain other facts in the sphere of physics and mechanics. It does not mean that everything in life is relative and that we have the right to turn the whole world mischievously topsy-turvy.

* No man can [[Visualization|visualize]] four dimensions, except mathematically ... I think in four dimensions, but only abstractly. The human mind can picture these dimensions no more than it can envisage electricity. Nevertheless, they are no less real than electro-magnetism, the force which controls our universe, within, and by which we have our being.

* Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
** Quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), p. 230

* I refuse to make money out of my science. My laurel is not for sale like so many bales of cotton.

* '''If I was not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. ... I cannot tell if I would have done any creative work of importance in music, but I do know that I get most joy in life out of my violin.'''

* '''Reading after a certain age diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking''', just as the man who spends too much time in the theater is tempted to be content with living vicariously instead of living his own life.

* Our time is Gothic in its spirit. Unlike the Renaissance, it is not dominated by a few outstanding personalities. The twentieth century has established the democracy of the intellect. In the republic of art and science, there are many men who take an equally important part in the intellectual movements of our age. It is the epoch rather than the individual that is important. There is no one dominant personality like Galileo or Newton. Even in the nineteenth century, there were still a few giants who outtopped all others. Today the general level is much higher than ever before in the history of the world, but there are few men whose stature immediately sets them apart from all others.

* In America, more than anywhere else, the individual is lost in the achievements of the many. America is beginning to be the world leader in a scientific investigation. American scholarship is both patient and inspiring. The Americans show an unselfish devotion to science, which is the very opposite of the conventional European view of your countrymen. '''Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.''' It is not true that the dollar is an American fetish. The American student is not interested in dollars, not even in success as such, but in his task, the object of the search. It is his painstaking application to the study of the infinitely little and the infinitely large which accounts for his success in astronomy.

* We are inclined to overemphasize the material influences in history. The Russians especially make this mistake. Intellectual values and ethnic influences, tradition and emotional factors are equally important. If this were not the case, Europe would today be a federated state, not a madhouse of nationalism.

* I am a determinist. As such, I do not believe in free will. The Jews believe in free will. They believe that man shapes his own life. I reject that doctrine philosophically. In that respect, I am not a Jew.
** Quoted in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA387#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe]'' by Walter Isaacson, p. 387

* I believe with [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]: We can do what we wish, but we can only wish what we must. Practically, I am, nevertheless, compelled to act as if freedom of the will existed. If I wish to live in a civilized community, I must act as if man is a responsible being. I know that philosophically a murderer is not responsible for his crime; nevertheless, I must protect myself from unpleasant contacts. I may consider him guiltless, but I prefer not to take tea with him.

* My own career was undoubtedly determined, not by my own will but by various factors over which I have no control—primarily those mysterious glands in which Nature prepares the very essence of life, our internal secretions.

* Whereas materialistic historians and philosophers neglect psychic realities, Freud is inclined to overstress their importance. I am not a psychologist, but it seems to me fairly evident that physiological factors, especially our endocrines, control our destiny ... I am not able to venture a judgment on so important a phase of modern thought. However, it seems to me that psychoanalysis is not always salutary. It may not always be helpful to delve into the subconscious. The machinery of our legs is controlled by a hundred different muscles. Do you think it would help us to walk if we analyzed our legs and knew exactly which one of the little muscles must be employed in locomotion and the order in which they work? ... I am not prepared to accept all his [Freud's] conclusions, but I consider his work an immensely valuable contribution to the science of human behavior. I think he is even greater as a writer than as a psychologist. Freud's brilliant style is unsurpassed by anyone since Schopenhauer.

* The only progress I can see is progress in the organization. The ordinary human being does not live long enough to draw any substantial benefit from his own experience. And no one, it seems, can benefit by the experiences of others. Being both a father and teacher, I know we can teach our children nothing. We can transmit to them neither our knowledge of life nor of mathematics. Each must learn its lesson anew.

* '''I believe in intuitions and inspirations. I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.''' When two expeditions of scientists, financed by the Royal Academy, went forth to test my theory of relativity, I was convinced that their conclusions would tally with my hypothesis. I was not surprised when the eclipse of May 29, 1919, confirmed my intuitions. I would have been surprised if I had been wrong.

* '''I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.'''

* '''As a child, I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene.'''

* Jesus is too colossal for the pen of phrasemongers, however artful. No man can dispose of Christianity with a ''bon mot''.

* '''No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.'''
** As reported in ''Einstein — A Life'' (1996) by Denis Brian, when asked about a clipping from a magazine article reporting his comments on Christianity as taken down by Viereck, Einstein carefully read the clipping and replied, '''&quot; That is what I believe.&quot;''' .

* It is quite possible to be both. I look upon myself as a man. '''Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.'''
** When asked by Viereck if he considered himself to be a German or a Jew. A version with slightly different wording is quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA386#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson (2007), p. 386

* We Jews have been too adaptable. We have been too eager to sacrifice our idiosyncrasies for the sake of social conformity. ... Even in modern civilization, the Jew is most happy if he remains a Jew.

* I do not think that religion is the most important element. We are held together rather by a body of tradition, handed down from father to son, which the child imbibes with his mother's milk. The atmosphere of our infancy predetermines our idiosyncrasies and predilections.
** In response to a question about whether religion is the tie holding the Jews together.

* But to return to the Jewish question. Other groups and nations cultivate their individual traditions. There is no reason why we should sacrifice ours. '''Standardization robs life of its spice.''' To deprive every ethnic group of its special traditions is to convert the world into a huge Ford plant. '''I believe in standardizing automobiles. I do not believe in standardizing human beings.''' Standardization is a great peril which threatens American culture.

* I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. The only thing that gives me pleasure, apart from my work, my violin, and my sailboat, is the appreciation of my fellow workers.

* I claim credit for nothing. Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.

* '''I am not an Atheist. I do not know if I can define myself as a Pantheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. May I do not reply with a parable? The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of a little child, entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God.''' We see a universe marvelously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations. I am fascinated by Spinoza's Pantheism. I admire even more his contributions to modern thought. Spinoza is the greatest of modern philosophers because he is the first philosopher who deals with the soul and the body as one, not as two separate things.
** Did not appear in ''Saturday Evening Post'' story, but in ''Glimpses of the Great'' (1930) by G. S. Viereck&lt;!-- Macauley, New York --&gt;. There have been [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/spinoza.html disputes on the accuracy] of this quotation.
** Sometimes misquoted as &quot;I don't think I can call myself a pantheist&quot;.
** Variant, from [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA386#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson, p. 386: I'm not an atheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written these books. It does not know-how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws.

* I am fascinated by Spinoza's pantheism, but I admire even more his contribution to modern thought because he is the first philosopher to deal with the soul and body as one, and not two separate things.
** Did not appear in the ''Saturday Evening Post'' story, but quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA387#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson, p. 387, in the section discussing Viereck's interview.

=== 1930s ===
[[File:PennyFarthing.svg|thumb|[[Life]] is like riding a [[bicycle]]. To keep your [[balance]] you must keep [[moving]].]]
[[File:Einstein_and_Tagore_Berlin_14_July_1930.jpg|thumb| I [[believe]] that whatever we do or [[live]] for has its [[causality]]; it is [[good]], however, that we cannot see through to it.]]

* '''Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.'''
** Letter to his son Eduard (5 February 1930), as quoted in [[wikipedia:Walter Isaacson|Walter Isaacson]], ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' (2007), p. 367

* '''I believe that whatever we do or live for has its causality; it is good, however, that we cannot see through to it.'''
** Interview with [[Rabindranath Tagore]] (14 April 1930), published in ''The Religion of Man'' (1930) by Rabindranath Tagore, p. 222, and in ''The Tagore Reader'' (1971) edited by [[wikipedia: Amiya Chakravarty|Amiya Chakravarty]]

* The really good music, whether of the East or of the West, cannot be analyzed.
** Interview with [[Rabindranath Tagore]] (14 April 1930), published in ''The Religion of Man'' (1930) by Rabindranath Tagore, p. 222, and in ''The Tagore Reader'' (1971) edited by Amiya Chakravarty

* I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
** Attributed in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=Af84fBmzmVYC&amp;pg=PA305&amp;dq=Belgenland The Encarta Book of Quotations]'' to an interview on the ''Belgenland'' (December 1930), which was the ship on which he arrived in New York that month. According to ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA18#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 18], the quote also appears as &quot;Aphorism, 1945-1946&quot; in the Einstein Archives 36-570. Calaprice speculates that &quot;perhaps it was recalled later and inserted into the archives under the later date.&quot; According to a snippet on Google Books, the phrase '&quot;I never think of the future,&quot; he said. &quot;It comes soon enough.&quot;' appears in ''The Literary Digest: Volume 107'' on p. 29, in an article titled &quot;We May Not 'Get' Relativity, But We Like Einstein&quot; from [http://books.google.com/books?id=T0A_AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22we+like+einstein%22#search_anchor 27 December 1930]. The [http://books.google.com/books?id=T0A_AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=belgenland+%22I+never+think+of+the+future%22+%22it+comes+soon+enough%22#search_anchor snippet] also discusses the &quot;welcome to Professor Einstein on the ''Belgenland''&quot; in New York

* Besides agreeing with the aims of [[vegetarianism]] for aesthetic and moral reasons, it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence a lot of mankind.
** From a letter to Hermann Huth, Vice-President of the German Vegetarian Federation, 27 December 1930. Supposedly published in German magazine ''Vegetarische Warte'', which existed from 1882 to 1935. Einstein Archive 46-756. Quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2011), [//books.google.it/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;pg=PA453 p. 453]. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0-691-13817-6}}&lt;/small&gt;

* ''Die Diktatur bringt den Maulkorb und dieser die Stumpfheit. Wissenschaft kann nur gedeihen in einer Atmosphäre des Freien Wortes.''
** A dictatorship means muzzles all round and consequently stultification. '''Science can flourish only in an atmosphere of free speech'''.
*** &quot;Science and Dictatorship,&quot; in ''Dictatorship on Its Trial, by Eminent Leaders of Modern Thought'' (1930) - later as ''Dictatorship on Trial'' (1931), Otto Forst de Battaglia (1889-1965), ed., Huntley Paterson, trans., introduction by [[Winston Churchill]], George G. Harrap &amp; Co., (Reprinted 1977, Beaufort Books Inc., {{ISBN|0836916077}} {{ISBN|9780836916072}} p. 107. [https://books.google.com/books?id=IjsiAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=9780836916072&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22only+in+an+atmosphere+of+free+speech%22][https://books.google.com/books?id=alq9M3_8qIcC&amp;dq=9780836916072&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwj9w8nJkYfKAhUL12MKHf5uCscQ6AEIHDAA] [http://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt/search?q1=%22Science%20can%20flourish%20only%20in%20an%20atmosphere%20of%20free%20speech%22;id=uc1.%24b47955;view=1up;seq=9;start=1;sz=10;page=search;orient=0] [http://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/000590821] &lt;small&gt;Original text of this [https://www.google.com/#tbm=bks&amp;q=%22Albert+Einstein+in+his+nineteen+word+essay+on+Science+and+Dictatorship%22 &quot;nineteen word essay&quot;] appears under the German title,  &quot;Wissenschaft und Diktatur&quot; in ''Prozess der Diktatur'' (1930), Otto Forst de Battaglia (1889-1965), ed., Amalthea-Verlag, p.108. [https://books.google.com/books?id=Q9DRAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=editions%3ATP1X5VVtHxAC&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22Die+Diktatur+bringt+den+maulkorb+und+dieser+die+stumpfheit.+Wissenschaft+kann+nur+gedeihen+in+einer+Atmosph%C3%A4re+des+freien+Wortes%22]&lt;/small&gt;

* ''Der Glaube an eine vom wahrnehmenden Subjekt unabhängige Außenwelt liegt aller Naturwissenschaft zugrunde.''
** First sentence of &quot;''Maxwells Einfluss auf die Entwicklung der Auffassung des Physikalisch-Realen''&quot;. Manuscript at the Hebrew University Jerusalem [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Digital/EAR000034102#page/1/mode/2up alberteinstein.info]
** The belief in an external world independent of the perceiving subject is the basis of all natural science.
** From &quot;Maxwell's Influence on the Evolution of the Idea of Physical Reality,&quot; 1931. Available in Einstein Archives: 65-382

* The scientific organization and comprehensive exposition in accessible form of the Talmud has a twofold importance for us Jews. It is important in the first place that the high cultural values of the Talmud should not be lost to modern minds among the Jewish people nor to science, but should operate further as a living force. In the second place, The Talmud must be made an open book to the world, in order to cut the ground from under certain malevolent attacks, of anti-Semitic origin, which borrow countenance from the obscurity and inaccessibility of certain passages in the Talmud.  To support this cultural work would thus mean an important achievement for the Jewish people.
** From a letter by Albert Einstein to Professor Chaim Tchernowitz (31 December 1930) of the Jewish Institute of Religion in New York (Hebrew Union College). Jewish Telegraphic Agency (Jewish Daily Bulletin)

* '''Why does this magnificent applied science which saves work and makes life easier bring us so little happiness? The simple answer runs: Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it.''' In war it serves that we may poison and mutilate each other. In peace it has made our lives hurried and uncertain. Instead of freeing us in great measure from spiritually exhausting labor, it has made men into slaves of machinery, who for the most part complete their monotonous long day's work with disgust and must continually tremble for their poor rations. ... It is not enough that you should understand about applied science in order that your work may increase man's blessings. Concern for the man himself and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavours; concern for the great unsolved problems of the organization of labor and the distribution of goods in order that the creations of our mind shall be a blessing and not a curse to mankind. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
** Speech to students at the California Institute of Technology, in [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50A1FFF3F5E1B7A93C5A81789D85F458385F9&amp;scp=4&amp;sq=&amp;st=p &quot;Einstein Sees Lack in Applying Science&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (16 February 1931)

* &lt;span id=&quot;imagination&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''I believe in intuition and inspiration.''' '''... At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason'''. When the eclipse of 1919 confirmed my intuition, I was not in the least surprised. In fact I would have been astonished had it turned out otherwise. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.'''
** ''Cosmic Religion : With Other Opinions and Aphorisms'' (1931) by Albert Einstein, p. 97; also in ''Transformation : Arts, Communication, Environment'' (1950) by Harry Holtzman, p. 138. This may be an edited version of some nearly identical quotes from the 1929 [[Albert Einstein#Viereck interview (1929)|Viereck interview]] below.

* Everyone sits in the prison of his own ideas; he must burst it open, and that in his youth, and so try to test his ideas on reality.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=cvlOAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22Everyone+sits+in+the+prison+of+his+own+ideas+he+must+burst+it+open+and+that+in+his+youth+and+so+try+to+test+his+ideas+on+reality%22&amp;pg=PA104#v=onepage ''Miscellaneous''], ''Cosmic Religion'', p. 104 (1931)

* I see a clock, but I cannot envision the clockmaker. The human mind is unable to conceive of the four dimensions, so how can it conceive of a God, before whom a thousand years and a thousand dimensions are as one?
** From ''Cosmic Religion: with Other Opinions and Aphorisms'' (1931), Albert Einstein, pub. Covici-Friede. Quoted in ''The Expanded Quotable Einstein'', Princeton University Press; 2nd edition (May 30, 2000); Page 208, {{ISBN|0691070210}}

* As an eminent pioneer in the realm of high frequency currents... I congratulate you on the great successes of your life's work.
** [http://www.teslasociety.com/einsteinletter.jpg Einstein's letter] to [[Nikola Tesla]] for Tesla's 75th birthday (1931)

* '''Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.'''
** &quot;My Credo&quot;, a speech to the German League of Human Rights, Berlin (Autumn 1932), as published in ''Einstein: A Life in Science'' (1994) by Michael White and John Gribbin, p. 262.

[[File:Crystal_DNA.jpg|thumb|It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.]]
* Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
** In answer to a question asked by the editors of ''Youth'', a journal of Young Israel of Williamsburg, NY. Quoted in the ''New York Times'', June 20, 1932, [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F40617F83B5A13738DDDA90A94DE405B828FF1D3 pg. 17]
** Unsourced variant: Only a life in the service of others is worth living.

* '''Our experience hitherto justifies us in trusting that nature is the realization of the simplest that is mathematically conceivable.''' I am convinced that purely mathematical construction enables us to find those concepts and those lawlike connections between them that provide the key to the understanding of natural phenomena. Useful mathematical concepts may well be suggested by experience, but in no way can they be derived from it. Experience naturally remains the sole criterion of the usefulness of a mathematical construction for physics. But the actual creative principle lies in mathematics. Thus, in a certain sense, '''I take it to be true that pure thought can grasp the real, as the ancients had dreamed.'''
** from ''On the Method of Theoretical Physics'', p. 183. The Herbert Spencer Lecture, delivered at Oxford (10 June 1933). Quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ Einstein's Philosophy of Science]

{{anchor|simplicity_limit}}
* '''It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.'''
** &quot;On the Method of Theoretical Physics&quot; The Herbert Spencer Lecture, delivered at Oxford (10 June 1933); also published in ''Philosophy of Science'', Vol. 1, No. 2 (April 1934), pp. 163-169., p. 165. [thanks to Dr. Techie @ www.wordorigins.org and JSTOR]
** There is a quote attributed to Einstein that may have arisen as a paraphrase of the above quote, commonly given as &quot;'''Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler,'''&quot; &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler&quot;, or &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot; See [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/05/13/einstein-simple/ this article from the Quote Investigator] for a discussion of where these later variants may have arisen.
** The original quote is very similar to [[wikipedia: Occam's razor|Occam's razor]], which advocates that among all hypotheses compatible with all available observations, the simplest hypothesis is the most plausible one.
** The aphorism &quot;everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler&quot; is normally taken to be a warning against too much simplicity and emphasizes that one cannot simplify things to a point where the hypothesis is no more compatible with all observations. The aphorism does not contradict or extend Occam's razor, but rather stresses that both elements of the razor, simplicity and compatibility with the observations, are essential.
** The earliest known appearance of Einstein's razor is an essay by Roger Sessions in the ''New York Times'' (8 January 1950)[http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30615FE3559137A93CAA9178AD85F448585F9], where Sessions appears to be paraphrasing Einstein: &quot;I also remember a remark of Albert Einstein, which certainly applies to music. He said, in effect, that everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.&quot;
** Another early appearance, from ''Time'' magazine (14 December 1962)[http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,872923,00.html]: &quot;We try to keep in mind a saying attributed to Einstein—that everything must be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.&quot;

* Force always attracts men of low morality.
** [[Special:BookSources/0806527900|''The World As I See It'']], Einstein, Citadel Press (reprint 2006; originally published in 1934), p. 5

* There is not the slightest indication that [nuclear energy] will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.
** As quoted in &quot;Atom Energy Hope is Spiked By Einstein / Efforts at Loosing Vast Force is Called Fruitless,&quot; ''Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' (29 December 1934); it was only after the breakthroughs by [[Enrico Fermi]] and others in producing nuclear chain reactions that the use of nuclear power became plausible.

* In light of knowledge obtained, the happy achievement seems almost a matter of course, and any intelligent student can grasp it without too much trouble. But '''the years of anxious searching in the dark, with their intense longing, their alternations of confidence and exhaustion, and final emergence into light—only those who have experienced it can understand that.'''
** &quot;Notes on the Origin of the General Theory of Relativity&quot; (1934) ''Mein Weltbild'', in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) ed., {{w|Carl Seelig}}.

* I never failed in mathematics. Before I was fifteen I had mastered differential and integral calculus.
** Response to being shown a &quot;Ripley's Believe It or Not!&quot; column with the headline &quot;Greatest Living Mathematician Failed in Mathematics&quot; in 1935. Quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA16#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 16]

* All of science is nothing more than the refinement of everyday thinking.
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in the ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' Vol. 221, Issue 3 (March 1936)
** Variant translation: &quot;The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.&quot; As it appears in the &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; section of the book &quot;Out of My Later Years&quot; by Albert Einstein (1950)

* It has often been said, and certainly not without justification, that the man of science is a poor philosopher. Why then should it not be the right thing for the physicist to let the philosopher do the philosophizing? Such might indeed be the right thing to do at a time when the physicist believes he has at his disposal a rigid system of fundamental laws which are so well established that waves of doubt can't reach them; but it cannot be right at a time when the very foundations of physics itself have become problematic as they are now. At a time like the present, when experience forces us to seek a newer and more solid foundation, the physicist cannot simply surrender to the philosopher the critical contemplation of theoretical foundations; for he himself knows best and feels more surely where the shoe pinches. In looking for an new foundation, he must try to make clear in his own mind just how far the concepts which he uses are justified, and are necessities.
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in the ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' Vol. 221, Issue 3 (March 1936), Pages 349-382

[[File:Square1.jpg|thumb|[[All]] [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]...]]
[[File:Gandhi_Simla_1939.jpg|thumb|Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce [[believe]] that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this [[Earth]].]]
* '''One may say &quot;the eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.&quot;'''
** From the article &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; (March 1936), reprinted in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1956). The quotation marks may just indicate that he wants to present this as a new aphorism, but it could possibly indicate that he is paraphrasing or quoting someone else — perhaps [[Immanuel Kant]], since in the next sentence he says &quot;It is one of the great realizations of Immanuel Kant that the setting up of a real external world would be senseless without this comprehensibility.&quot;&lt;br /&gt; '''''Other variants:'''''
** '''The eternally incomprehensible thing about the world is its comprehensibility.'''
*** In the endnotes to ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson, note 46 on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA628#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 628] says that &quot;Gerald Holton says that this is more properly translated&quot; as the variant above, citing Holton's essay &quot;What Precisely is Thinking?&quot; on p. 161 of ''Einstein: A Centenary Volume'' edited by Anthony Philip French.
** '''The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.'''
*** This version was given in ''Einstein: A Biography'' (1954) by Antonina Vallentin, p. 24, and widely quoted afterwards. Vallentin cites &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' (March 1936), and is possibly giving a variant translation as with Holton.
** '''The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.'''
*** As quoted in ''Speaking of Science'' (2000) by Michael Fripp
** '''The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility ... The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle.'''
*** As quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson, [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA462#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 462]. In the original essay &quot;The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle&quot; appears at the end of the paragraph that follows the paragraph in which &quot;The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility&quot; appears.

* Everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that some spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe, one that is vastly superior to that of man.
** Letter to Phyllis Wright (January 24, 1936), published in ''Dear Professor Einstein: Albert Einstein's Letters to and from Children'' (Prometheus Books, 2002), p. 129

* '''All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.''' It is no mere chance that our older universities developed from clerical schools. Both churches and universities — insofar as they live up to their true function — serve the ennoblement of the individual. They seek to fulfill this great task by spreading moral and cultural understanding, renouncing the use of brute force. &lt;br /&gt; The essential unity of ecclesiastical and secular institutions was lost during the 19th century, to the point of senseless hostility. Yet there was never any doubt as to the striving for culture. No one doubted the sacredness of the goal. It was the approach that was disputed.
** &quot;Moral Decay&quot; (1937); Later published in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950)

* '''Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the external world.''' In our endeavor to understand reality we are somewhat like a man trying to understand the mechanism of a closed watch. He sees the face and the moving hands, even hears its ticking, but he has no way of opening the case. If he is ingenious he may form some picture of a mechanism which could be responsible for all the things he observes, but he may never be quite sure his picture is the only one which could explain his observations. '''He will never be able to compare his picture with the real mechanism and he cannot even imagine the possibility or the meaning of such a comparison.''' But he certainly believes that, as his knowledge increases, his picture of reality will become simpler and simpler and will explain a wider and wider range of his sensuous impressions. '''He may also believe in the existence of the ideal limit of knowledge and that it is approached by the human mind. He may call this ideal limit the objective truth.'''
** ''The Evolution of Physics'' (1938) (co-written with [[Leopold Infeld]]) &lt;!-- later published by Simon &amp; Schuster (1967) --&gt;

* Fundamental ideas play the most essential role in forming a physical theory. Books on physics are full of complicated mathematical formulae. But thought and ideas, not formulae, are the beginning of every physical theory. The ideas must later take the mathematical form of a quantitative theory, to make possible the comparison with experiment.
** ''The Evolution of Physics'' (1938) (co-written with [[Leopold Infeld]]) &lt;!-- later published by Simon &amp; Schuster (1967) --&gt;

* The moral decline we are compelled to witness and the suffering it engenders are so oppressive that one cannot ignore them even for a moment. No matter how deeply one immerses oneself in work, a haunting feeling of inescapable tragedy persists. '''Still, there are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments, one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable: life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only being.'''
** Letter to Queen Mother Elisabeth of Belgium (9 January 1939), asking for her help in getting an elderly cousin of his out of Germany and into Belgium. Quoted in ''Einstein on Peace'' edited by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), p. 282

* The standard bearers have grown weak in the defense of their priceless heritage, and the powers of darkness have been strengthened thereby. '''Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character'''; it becomes lack of power to act with courage proportionate to danger. All this must lead to the destruction of our intellectual life unless the danger summons up strong personalities able to fill the lukewarm and discouraged with new strength and resolution.
** Speech made in honor of Thomas Mann in January 1939, when Mann was given the Einstein Prize by the Jewish Forum. Quoted in ''Einstein Lived Here'' by Abraham Pais (1994), [http://books.google.com/books?id=u_9QAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22becomes+lack+of+power%22#search_anchor p. 214]

* '''Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce believe that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this Earth.'''
** Statement on the occasion of Gandhi's 70th birthday (1939) Einstein archive 32-601, published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;pg=PA240&amp;lpg=PA240&amp;dq=einstein+%22out+of+my+later+years%22+%22will+scarce+believe%22&amp;source=web&amp;ots=xRZlwUOcEY&amp;sig=0oe_RZgwXaNYtrIGz-XDqmfWna0 Out of My Later Years]'' (1950).
** Variant: Generations to come, it may be, will scarcely believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.

* Some recent work by [[Enrico Fermi|E. Fermi]] and [[wikipedia:Leo Szilard|L. Szilard]], which has been communicated to me in manuscript, leads me to expect that the element uranium may be turned into a new and important source of energy in the immediate future. Certain aspects of the situation seem to call for watchfulness and, if necessary, quick action on the part of the Administration...  This new phenomenon would also lead to the construction of bombs, and it is conceivable—though much less certain—that extremely powerful bombs of a new type may thus be constructed. A single bomb of this type, carried by boat or exploded in a port, might very well destroy the whole port together with some of the surrounding territory. However, such bombs might very well prove to be too heavy for transportation by air.
** Letter to President [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] (August 2, 1939, delivered October 11, 1939); reported in ''Einstein on Peace'', ed. Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960, reprinted 1981), pp. 294–95

==== Wisehart interview (1930) ====
: &lt;small&gt;M. K. Wisehart, ''A Close Look at the World's Greatest Thinker'', American Magazine, June 1930. Quotes from the interview appear on pp. 52-53 of [http://books.google.com/books?id=l_Gktz_D7FIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA52#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Twelve Powers of Man] by Charles Fillmore&lt;/small&gt;
* Every man knows that in his work he does best and accomplishes most when he has attained a proficiency that enables him to work intuitively. That is, there are things which we come to know so well that we do not know how we know them. So it seems to me in matters of principle. Perhaps we live best and do things best when we are not too conscious of how and why we do them.

* I do not believe in a God who maliciously or arbitrarily interferes in the personal affairs of mankind. '''My religion consists of a humble admiration for the vast power which manifests itself in that small part of the universe which our poor, weak minds can grasp!'''

* '''Much reading after a certain age diverts the mind from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking,''' just as the man who spends too much time in the theaters is apt to be content with living vicariously instead of living his own life.

* I have only two rules which I regard as principles of conduct. The first is: Have no rules. The second is: Be independent of the opinion of others.

==== ''Religion and Science'' (1930) ====
[[File:Nebulabrot (5000, 500, 50).png|thumb|Everything that the [[human]] race has done and [[thought]] is concerned with the [[satisfaction]] of deeply felt [[needs]] and the assuagement of [[pain]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;Originally written for the ''New York Times Magazine'' (9 November 1930); a version with altered wording appeared in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:San Francisco de Asís, por José de Ribera.jpg|thumb|We find precisely among the heretics of all ages men who were inspired by this highest [[religious]] experience; often they appeared to their contemporaries as [[atheists]], but sometimes also as [[saints]]. Viewed from this angle, men like [[Democritus]], [[Francis of Assisi]], and [[Spinoza]] are near to one another.]]
[[File:Cristo_degli_abissi.jpg|thumb|It is the most important function of [[art]] and [[science]] to awaken this [[feeling]] and keep it [[alive]] in those who are receptive to it.]]
[[File:Spirale_Ulam_150.jpg|thumb|The individual feels the vanity of human desires and aims, and the nobility and marvelous order which are revealed in nature and in the world of thought.]]
[[File:Orbitals7.png|thumb|A contemporary has rightly said that the only deeply [[religious]] [[people]] of our largely [[materialistic]] age are the earnest men of research.]]

* '''Everything that men do or think concerns the satisfaction of the needs they feel or the escape from pain.''' This must be kept in mind when we seek to understand spiritual or intellectual movements and the way in which they develop. For feelings and longings are the motive forces of all human striving and productivity—however nobly these latter may display themselves to us.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': '''Everything that the human race has done and thought is concerned with the satisfaction of deeply felt needs and the assuagement of pain.''' One has to keep this constantly in mind if one wishes to understand spiritual movements and their development. Feeling and longing are the motive force behind all human endeavor and human creation, in however exalted a guise the latter may present themselves to us.

* The longing for guidance, for love and succor, provides the stimulus for the growth of a social or moral conception of God. This is the God of Providence, who protects, decides, rewards and punishes. This is the God who, according to man's widening horizon, loves and provides for the life of the race, or of mankind, or who even loves life itself. He is the comforter in unhappiness and in unsatisfied longing, the protector of the souls of the dead. This is the social or moral idea of God.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The desire for guidance, love, and support prompts men to form the social or moral conception of God. This is the God of Providence, who protects, disposes, rewards, and punishes; the God who, according to the limits of the believer's outlook, loves and cherishes the life of the tribe or of the human race, or even life itself; the comforter in sorrow and unsatisfied longing; he who preserves the souls of the dead. This is the social or moral conception of God.

* It is easy to follow in the sacred writings of the Jewish people the development of the religion of fear into the moral religion, which is carried further in the New Testament. The religions of all civilized peoples, especially those of the Orient, are principally moral religions. '''An important advance in the life of a people is the transformation of the religion of fear into the moral religion. But one must avoid the prejudice that regards the religions of primitive peoples as pure fear religions and those of the civilized races as pure moral religions. All are mixed forms, though the moral element predominates in the higher levels of social life.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The Jewish scriptures admirably illustrate the development from the religion of fear to moral religion, a development continued in the New Testament. The religions of all civilized peoples, especially the peoples of the Orient, are primarily moral religions. '''The development from a religion of fear to moral religion is a great step in peoples' lives. And yet, that primitive religions are based entirely on fear and the religions of civilized peoples purely on morality is a prejudice against which we must be on our guard. The truth is that all religions are a varying blend of both types, with this differentiation: that on the higher levels of social life the religion of morality predominates.'''

* Common to all these types is the anthropomorphic character of the idea of God. Only exceptionally gifted individuals or especially noble communities rise ''essentially'' above this level; in these there is found a third level of religious experience, even if it is seldom found in a pure form. I will call it the cosmic religious sense. '''This is hard to make clear to those who do not experience it, since it does not involve an anthropomorphic idea of God; the individual feels the vanity of human desires and aims, and the nobility and marvelous order which are revealed in nature and in the world of thought.''' He feels the individual destiny as an imprisonment and seeks to experience the totality of existence as a unity full of significance. Indications of this cosmic religious sense can be found even on earlier levels of development—for example, in the Psalms of David and in the Prophets. The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism, as, in particular, [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s magnificent essays have shown us. '''The religious geniuses of all times have been distinguished by this cosmic religious sense, which recognizes neither dogmas nor God made in man's image. Consequently there cannot be a church whose chief doctrines are based on the cosmic religious experience. It comes about, therefore, that we find precisely among the heretics of all ages men who were inspired by this highest religious experience; often they appeared to their contemporaries as atheists, but sometimes also as saints. Viewed from this angle, men like [[Democritus]], [[Francis of Assisi]], and [[Spinoza]] are near to one another.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': Common to all these types is the anthropomorphic character of their conception of God. In general, only individuals of exceptional endowments, and exceptionally high-minded communities, rise to any considerable extent above this level. But there is a third stage of religious experience which belongs to all of them, even though it is rarely found in a pure form: I shall call it cosmic religious feeling. '''It is very difficult to elucidate this feeling to anyone who is entirely without it, especially as there is no anthropomorphic conception of God corresponding to it. The individual feels the futility of human desires and aims and the sublimity and marvelous order which reveal themselves both in nature and in the world of thought.''' Individual existence impresses him as a sort of prison and he wants to experience the universe as a single significant whole. The beginnings of cosmic religious feeling already appear at an early stage of development, e.g., in many of the Psalms of David and in some of the Prophets. Buddhism, as we have learned especially from the wonderful writings of Schopenhauer, contains a much stronger element of this. '''The religious geniuses of all ages have been distinguished by this kind of religious feeling, which knows no dogma and no God conceived in man's image; so that there can be no church whose central teachings are based on it. Hence it is precisely among the heretics of every age that we find men who were filled with this highest kind of religious feeling and were in many cases regarded by their contemporaries as atheists, sometimes also as saints. Looked at in this light, men like Democritus, Francis of Assisi, and Spinoza are closely akin to one another.'''

* '''How can this cosmic religious experience be communicated from man to man, if it cannot lead to a definite conception of God or to a theology? It seems to me that the most important function of art and of science is to arouse and keep alive this feeling in those who are receptive.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': '''How can cosmic religious feeling be communicated from one person to another, if it can give rise to no definite notion of a God and no theology? In my view, it is the most important function of art and science to awaken this feeling and keep it alive in those who are receptive to it.'''

* For any one who is pervaded with the sense of causal law in all that happens, who accepts in real earnest the assumption of causality, the idea of Being who interferes with the sequence of events in the world is absolutely impossible. Neither the religion of fear nor the social-moral religion can have any hold on him. A God who rewards and punishes is for him unthinkable, because man acts in accordance with an inner and outer necessity, and would, in the eyes of God, be as little responsible as an inanimate object is for the movements which it makes. '''Science, in consequence, has been accused of undermining morals—but wrongly. The ethical behavior of man is better based on sympathy, education and social relationships, and requires no support from religion. Man's plight would, indeed, be sad if he had to be kept in order through fear of punishment and hope of rewards after death.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation cannot for a moment entertain the idea of a being who interferes in the course of events — provided, of course, that he takes the hypothesis of causality really seriously. He has no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion. A God who rewards and punishes is inconceivable to him for the simple reason that a man's actions are determined by necessity, external and internal, so that in God's eyes he cannot be responsible, any more than an inanimate object is responsible for the motions it undergoes. '''Science has therefore been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hopes of reward after death.'''
**
**

* It is, therefore, quite natural that the churches have always fought against science and have persecuted its supporters. But, on the other hand, '''I assert that the cosmic religious experience is the strongest and noblest driving force behind scientific research.''' No one who does not appreciate the terrific exertions, and, above all, the devotion without which pioneer creations in scientific thought cannot come into being, can judge the strength of the feeling out of which alone such work, turned away as it is from immediate practical life, can grow. What a '''deep faith in the rationality of the structure of the world''' and what a longing to understand even a small glimpse of the reason revealed in the world there must have been in [[Johannes Kepler|Kepler]] and [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] to enable them to unravel the mechanism of the heavens in long years of lonely work! '''Any one who only knows scientific research in its practical applications may easily come to a wrong interpretation of the state of mind of the men who, surrounded by skeptical contemporaries, have shown the way to kindred spirits scattered over all countries in all centuries.''' Only those who have dedicated their lives to similar ends can have a living conception of the inspiration which gave these men the power to remain loyal to their purpose in spite of countless failures. It is the cosmic religious sense which grants this power. A contemporary has rightly said that the only deeply religious people of our largely materialistic age are the earnest men of research.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': It is therefore easy to see why the churches have always fought science and persecuted its devotees. On the other hand, '''I maintain that the cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest motive for scientific research.''' Only those who realize the immense efforts and, above all, the devotion without which pioneer work in theoretical science cannot be achieved are able to grasp the strength of the emotion out of which alone such work, remote as it is from the immediate realities of life, can issue. What a '''deep conviction of the rationality of the universe''' and what a yearning to understand, were it but a feeble reflection of the mind revealed in this world, Kepler and Newton must have had to enable them to spend years of solitary labor in disentangling the principles of celestial mechanics! '''Those whose acquaintance with scientific research is derived chiefly from its practical results easily develop a completely false notion of the mentality of the men who, surrounded by a skeptical world, have shown the way to kindred spirits scattered wide through the world and through the centuries.''' Only one who has devoted his life to similar ends can have a vivid realization of what has inspired these men and given them the strength to remain true to their purpose in spite of countless failures. It is cosmic religious feeling that gives a man such strength. A contemporary has said, not unjustly, that in this materialistic age of ours the serious scientific workers are the only profoundly religious people.

==== ''Mein Weltbild (My World-view)'' (1931) ====
[[File:Schopenhauer.jpg|thumb|[[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s saying, that &quot;a man can do as he [[will]], but not will as he will,&quot; has been an [[inspiration]] to me since my youth up, and a continual consolation and unfailing well-spring of [[patience]] in the face of the hardships of [[life]]...]]
: &lt;small&gt;&quot;Mein Weltbild&quot; (1931) [&quot;My World-view&quot;, or &quot;My View of the World&quot; or &quot;The World as I See It&quot;], translated as the title essay of the book ''[[wikipedia:The World as I See It (book)|The World as I See It]]'' (1949). Various translated editions have been published of this essay; or portions of it, including one titled &quot;What I Believe&quot;; another compilation which includes it is ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) &lt;!-- There are sometimes confusing citations or even apparently contradictory dating of various essays by Einstein or their translations, especially of this one --&gt; &lt;/small&gt;

* '''How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it.''' But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. '''A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...''' .

* I am strongly drawn to the simple life and am often oppressed by the feeling that I am engrossing an unnecessary amount of the labour of my fellow-men. '''I regard class differences as contrary to justice and, in the last resort, based on force. I also consider that plain living is good for everybody, physically and mentally.'''

* '''In human freedom in the philosophical sense I am definitely a disbeliever. Everybody acts not only under external compulsion but also in accordance with inner necessity.''' [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s saying, that &quot;'''a man can do as he will, but not will as he will''',&quot; has been an inspiration to me since my youth up, and a continual consolation and unfailing well-spring of patience in the face of the hardships of life, my own and others'. '''This feeling mercifully mitigates the sense of responsibility which so easily becomes paralyzing, and it prevents us from taking ourselves and other people too seriously; it conduces to a view of life in which humor, above all, has its due place.'''

* '''I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves — this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth.''' Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts — possessions, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible.
** Variant translation: I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves — such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. Without the sense of fellowship with men of like mind, of preoccupation with the objective, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific research, life would have seemed to me empty. The ordinary objects of human endeavor — property, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible.

* I gang my own gait and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties I have never lost an obstinate sense of detachment, of the need for solitude — a feeling which increases with the years.
** Variant translation: '''I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude...'''

[[File:A_Horseshoe_Einstein_Ring_from_Hubble.JPG|thumb|The most [[beautiful]] [[experience]] we can have is the [[mysterious]]. It is the fundamental [[emotion]] that stands at the cradle of true [[art]] and true [[science]]...]]
* '''The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.''' It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. '''A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man.''' 
** Variant translations: The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms — it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.
** The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man. To know that what is impenetrable for us really exists and manifests itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, whose gross forms alone are intelligible to our poor faculties — this knowledge, this feeling ... that is the core of the true religious sentiment. In this sense, and in this sense alone, I rank myself among profoundly religious men.
** As quoted in ''After Einstein : Proceedings of the Einstein Centennial Celebration'' (1981) by Peter Barker and Cecil G. Shugart, p. 179
** The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
*** As quoted in ''Introduction to Philosophy'' (1935) by George Thomas White Patrick and Frank Miller Chapman, p. 44
** The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. '''He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle'''. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man.&quot;
** He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
[[File:An Emu in the Sky over Paranal.jpg|thumb|He...who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle.]]
* '''I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own — a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms.'''
** As quoted in ''European Civilization and Politics Since 1815'' (1938) by Erik Achorn, p. 723. amd in his obituary in ''The New York Times'' (19 April 1955)
** Variant translation: '''I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls.'''
*** As quoted in ''The Heretic's Handbook of Quotations: Cutting Comments on Burning Issues'' (1992) by Charles Bufe, p. 186

* '''It is enough for me to contemplate the mystery of conscious life perpetuating itself through all eternity, to reflect upon the marvelous structure of the universe which we dimly perceive, and to try humbly to comprehend an infinitesimal part of the intelligence manifested in nature.'''
** As quoted in ''Introduction to Philosophy'' (1935) by George Thomas White Patrick and Frank Miller Chapman, p. 44
** Variant translations:
** '''I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence — as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.''' 
** Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavor to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.

* ''Zahlreich sind die Lehrkanzeln, aber selten die weisen und edlen Lehrer. Zahlreich und groß sind die Hörsäle, doch wenig zahlreich die jungen Menschen, die ehrlich nach Wahrheit und Gerechtigkeit dürsten. Zahlreich spendet die Natur ihre Dutzendware, aber das Feinere erzeugt sie selten''.
** Numerous are the academic chairs, but rare are wise and noble teachers. Numerous and large are the lecture halls, but far from numerous the young men who genuinely thirst for truth and justice. Numerous are the wares that nature produces by the dozen, but her choice products are few.

==== ''My Credo'' (1932) ====
[[File:Marie_Curie_and_Albert_Einstein.jpg|thumb| Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for [[truth]], [[beauty]], and [[justice]] has preserved me from feeling isolated.]]
: &lt;small&gt;Speech to the German League of Human Rights, Berlin (Autumn 1932); as published in ''Einstein: A Life in Science'' (1994) by Michael White and John Gribbin&lt;!-- p. 262 Dutton, Penguin Books USA Inc., New York --&gt;. This repeats or revises some statements and ideas of ''Mein Weltbild'' (1931) · [http://www.einstein-website.de/z_biography/credo.html Full text online] · [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/credo.html alternate online source]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Our situation on this earth seems strange.''' Every one of us appears here involuntarily and uninvited for a short stay, without knowing the whys and the wherefore. In our daily lives we only feel that man is here for the sake of others, for those whom we love and for many other beings whose fate is connected with our own. '''I am often worried at the thought that my life is based to such a large extent on the work of my fellow human beings and I am aware of my great indebtedness to them.'''

* '''I do not believe in freedom of the will. [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s words: &quot;Man can do what he wants, but he cannot will what he wills&quot; accompany me in all situations throughout my life and reconcile me with the actions of others even if they are rather painful to me. This awareness of the lack of freedom of will preserves me from taking too seriously myself and my fellow men as acting and deciding individuals and from losing my temper.'''
** Variant translation:
** '''I do not believe in [[free will]].''' [[Schopenhauer]]'s words: 'Man can do what he wants, but he cannot will what he wills,' accompany me in all situations throughout my life and reconcile me with the actions of others, even if they are rather painful to me. '''This awareness of the lack of free will keeps me from taking myself and my fellow men too seriously as acting and deciding individuals, and from losing my temper.'''

* '''My passion for social justice has often brought me into conflict with people, as has my aversion to any obligation and dependence I did not regard as absolutely necessary.''' &lt;br /&gt; I have a high regard for the individual and an insuperable distaste for violence and fanaticism. All these motives have made me a passionate pacifist and antimilitarist. I am against any chauvinism, even in the guise of mere patriotism. &lt;br /&gt; '''Privileges based on position and property have always seemed to me unjust and pernicious, as does any exaggerated personality cult. I am an adherent of the ideal of democracy, although I know well the weaknesses of the democratic form of government.''' Social equality and economic protection of the individual have always seemed to me the important communal aims of the state.&lt;br /&gt; Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice keeps me from feeling isolated.

* '''The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind.''' To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness. &lt;br /&gt; In this sense I am religious. To me it suffices to wonder at these secrets and to attempt humbly to grasp with my mind a mere image of the lofty structure of all that there is.

==== (1933) ====

* '''According to my conviction it cannot be doubted that the severe economic depression is to be traced back for the most part to internal economic causes; the improvement in the apparatus of production through technical invention and organization has decreased the need for human labor, and thereby caused the elimination of a part of labor from the economic circuit, and thereby caused a progressive decrease in the purchasing power of the consumers.''' - as quoted in Robert Shiller's 2020 lecture at Princeton&lt;ref&gt;https://bcf.princeton.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Combined-Slides-4.pdf&lt;/ref&gt;

==== (1934) ====
* '''All knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it. Propositions arrived at by purely logical means are completely empty as regards reality. Because Galileo saw this, and particularly because he drummed it into the scientific world, he is the father of modern physics – indeed, of modern science altogether.'''
** Albert Einstein (2009) [1934]. &quot;On the Method of Theoretical Physics&quot;. Einstein's essays in science. Translated by Alan Harris. Dover. pp. 12–21. ISBN 9780486470115. 

==== ''Obituary for Emmy Noether'' (1935) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Emmy Noether'', letter to the Editor of The New York Times, published May 5, 1935 [http://www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Obits2/Noether_Emmy_Einstein.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* The efforts of most human-beings are consumed in the struggle for their daily bread, but most of those who are, either through fortune or some special gift, relieved of this struggle are largely absorbed in further improving their worldly lot. '''Beneath the effort directed toward the accumulation of worldly goods lies all too frequently the illusion that this is the most substantial and desirable end to be achieved; but there is, fortunately, a minority composed of those who recognize early in their lives that the most beautiful and satisfying experiences open to humankind are not derived from the outside, but are bound up with the development of the individual's own feeling, thinking and acting.''' The genuine artists, investigators and thinkers have always been persons of this kind. However inconspicuously the life of these individuals runs its course, none the less the fruits of their endeavors are the most valuable contributions which one generation can make to its successors.

* '''In the judgment of the most competent living mathematicians, Fräulein Noether was the most significant creative mathematical genius thus far produced since the higher education of women began.'''

* '''[[Pure mathematics]] is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas. One seeks the most general ideas of operation which will bring together in simple, logical and unified form the largest possible circle of formal relationships. In this effort toward logical beauty spiritual formulas are discovered necessary for the deeper penetration into the laws of nature.'''

====Why Do They Hate the Jews (1938)====
:November 26, 1938 issue of Collier's
*The Jews as a group may be powerless, but the sum of the achievements of their individual members is everywhere considerable and telling, even though those achievements were made in the face of obstacles.
**affirmed on page 213 of The Ultimate Quotable Einstein

*anti-Semitism is nothing but the antagonistic attitude produced in non-Jews by the Jewish group. This is a normal social reaction.
**affirmed on [https://books.google.ca/books?id=OAsQ_hFjhrAC&amp;pg=PA70 page 70 of Einstein from 'B' to 'Z' by John Stachel in 2001]

=== 1940s ===
[[File:Albert_Einstein_photo_1920.jpg|thumb|Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds...]]
[[File:Citizen-Einstein.jpg|thumb| Why is it nobody [[understands]] me and everybody likes me?]]
* '''Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.'''
** Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of [[Bertrand Russell]] to a teaching position (19 March 1940).
** Variant:&lt;!-- Variant translation? or a paraphrase? --&gt; Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thoughts in clear form.

* The development during the present century is characterized by two theoretical systems essentially independent of each other: the [[theory of relativity]] and the [[quantum theory]]. The two systems do not directly contradict each other; but they seem little adapted to fusion into one unified theory.
** &quot;The Fundamentals of Theoretical Physics,&quot; (1940) as quoted in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1976)

* '''Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem—in my opinion—to characterize our age.'''
** &quot;The Common Language of Science&quot;, a broadcast for Science, Conference, London, 28 September 1941. Published in ''Advancement of Science'', London, Vol. 2, No. 5. Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), the quote appearing on [http://books.google.com/books?id=OeUoXHoAJMsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT357#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page].

* People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.
** In a letter to Otto Juliusburger, September 29, 1942. Available in Einstein Archives 38-238

* '''Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.'''
** Letter to high school student Barbara Lee Wilson (7 January 1943), Einstein Archives 42-606

*'''Without Russia [ [[Soviet Union]] ], the [[Germany|German]] bloodhounds would have already achieved their goal, or would achive it very soon... We and our children owe a great debt of gratitude to the Russian people for having experienced such immense losses and suffering. [ Soviet Union's ] conduct of the war has made obvious her great achievement in all industrial and technical fields... and in the limitless sacrifice and exemplary self-denial of every single individual, I see proof of a strong and universal will to defend what they have won... finally, a fact of particular importance to us Jews. In Russia the equality of all national and cultural groups is not merely nominal but is actually practiced.'''
** As quoted in [https://books.google.it/books?id=weECGK2rChcC The Einstein File: J. Edgar Hoover's Secret War Against the World's Most Famous Scientist, p. 146], (2003) by Fred Jerome 

* '''Why is it nobody understands me and everybody likes me?'''
** As quoted in New York Times article [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00713FA3A58157A93C0A81788D85F408485F9 &quot;The Einstein Theory of Living; At 65 he leads the simplest of lives — and grapples with the most complex thoughts.&quot;] (12 March 1944)
** Variants:
** '''Why is it that nobody understands me, yet everybody likes me?'''
*** As quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=-5SxGKrTRUEC&amp;pg=PA126 ''The Dark Side of Shakespeare : An Elizabethan Courtier, Diplomat, Spymaster, &amp; Epic Hero'', p. 126] (2003) by W. Ron Hess
** '''Everyone likes me, yet nobody understands me.'''
*** As quoted in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337/ &quot;The culture of Einstein&quot; at ''MSNBC'' (18 March 2005)]

* I fully agree with you about the significance and educational value of [[methodology]] as well as history and philosophy of science. '''So many people today — and even professional [[scientists]] — seem to me like someone who has seen thousands of trees but has never seen a forest. A knowledge of the historic and philosophical background gives that kind of independence from prejudices of his generation from which most scientists are suffering. This independence created by philosophical insight is — in my opinion — the mark of distinction between a mere artisan or specialist and a real seeker after truth.'''
** Letter to Robert A. Thorton, Physics Professor at University of Puerto Rico (7 December 1944) [EA-674, Einstein Archive, Hebrew University, Jerusalem]. Thorton had written to Einstein on persuading colleagues of the importance of [[wikipedia:Philosophy of science|philosophy of science]] to scientists (empiricists) and [[wikipedia:Science|science]].

* '''The words or the language, as they are written or spoken, do not seem to play any role in my mechanism of thought.''' The psychical entities which seem to serve as elements in thoughts are certain signs and more or less clear images which can be &quot;voluntarily&quot; reproduced and combined. There is, of course, a certain connection between those elements and [[relevant]] logical concepts. It is also clear that the desire to arrive finally at logically connected concepts is the emotional basis of this rather vague play with the above-mentioned elements. . . . The above-mentioned elements are, in my case, of visual and some muscular type. '''Conventional words or other signs have to be sought for laboriously only in a secondary stage, when the mentioned associative play is sufficiently established and can be reproduced at will.'''
** Answer to a survey written by the French mathematician Jaques Hadamard, from Hadamard's ''An Essay on the Psychology of Invention in the Mathematical Field'' (1945). Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954). His full set of answers to the questions can be read on p. 3 [http://www.pitt.edu/~jdnorton/Goodies/Einstein_think/index.html here].

* Certain it is that a conviction, akin to religious feeling, of the rationality or intelligibility of the world lies behind all scientific work of a higher order. ... This firm belief, a belief bound up with deep feeling, in a superior mind that reveals itself in the world of experience, represents my conception of God.
** 'Essays in Science ''(1934) p. 11. Reprinted in'' Ideas and Opinions On Scientific Truth ''(1954) p. 261, Crown Publishers, Inc. New York, New York, USA, 1954, {{ISBN|0679601058}}.''

* '''I received your letter of June 10th. I have never talked to a Jesuit priest in my life and I am astonished by the audacity to tell such lies about me. From the viewpoint of a Jesuit priest I am, of course, and have always been an atheist.'''
** Letter to Guy H. Raner Jr. (2 July 1945), responding to a rumor that a Jesuit priest had caused Einstein to convert to Christianity, quoted in an article by Michael R. Gilmore in ''Skeptic'' magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2 (1997)

* The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
** Statement on the Atomic Bomb to Raymond Swing, before 1 October 1945, as reported in ''Atlantic Monthly'', vol. 176, no. 5 (November 1945), in ''Einstein on Politics'', p. 373

* That is simple, my friend. It is because Politics is more difficult than [[physics]]. 
** Einstein when asked &quot;Dr. Einstein, why is it that when the mind of man has stretched so far as to discover the structure of the atom we have been unable to devise the political means to keep the atom from destroying us?&quot; a conferee at a meeting at Princeton, N.J. (Jan 1946), as recalled by Greenville Clark in &quot;Letters to the Times&quot; in ''New York Times'' (22 Apr 1955), 24

* The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
;* Telegram (24 May 1946) sent to prominent Americans. Quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1946/05/25/archives/atomic-education-urged-by-einstein-scientist-in-plea-for-200000-to.html New York Times (25 May 1946)]. In Robert Andrews Famous Lines: a Columbia Dictionary of Familiar Quotations (1997), 340. Variations exist due to different translations from the original German.

* Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we know it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.
** &quot;Only Then Shall We Find Courage&quot;, ''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946).

* Had I known that the Germans would not succeed in producing an atomic bomb, I would not have lifted a finger.
** Einstein discussing the letter he sent Roosevelt raising the possibility of atomic weapons. from &quot;Atom: Einstein, the Man Who Started It All,&quot; Newsweek Magazine (10 March 1947).

* I am very smart. But not as strong-hearted as all the workers on earth for he toils endlessly and does it all to feed his family while I do it merely for solving an impossible puzzle.
** Letter to his cousin Richard Einstein (October 1947)

* It is easier to denature plutonium than it is to denature the evil spirit of man.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;q=%22It+is+easier+to+denature+plutonium+than+it+is+to+denature+the+evil+spirit+of+man%22&amp;pg=PA385#v=onepage The Real Problem Is in the Hearts of Men]'', ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times Magazine|The New York Times Magazine]]'' ([http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60715F63E5C14738DDDAA0A94DE405B8688F1D3 June 23, 1946])

* A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels.
** From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140622171150/http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm &quot;Atomic Education Urged by Einstein&quot;], ''New York Times'' (25 May 1946), and later quoted in the article &quot;The Real Problem is in the Hearts of Man&quot; by Michael Amrine, from the ''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946). A slightly modified version of the 23 June article was reprinted in ''Einstein on Peace'' by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), and it was also reprinted in ''Einstein on Politics'' by David E. Rowe and Robert Schulmann (2007), p. 383.
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005), editor Alice Calaprice suggests that two quotes attributed to Einstein which she could not find sources for, &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot; and &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them,&quot; may both be paraphrases of the 1946 quote above. A similar unsourced variant is &quot;The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.&quot;
** In the 23 June article Einstein expanded somewhat on the original quote from the 25 May article:
**: Many persons have inquired concerning a recent message of mine that &quot;a new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels.&quot;
**: Often in evolutionary processes a species must adapt to new conditions in order to survive. Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we knew it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.
**: In the light of new knowledge, a world authority and an eventual world state are not just ''desirable'' in the name of brotherhood, they are ''necessary'' for survival. In previous ages a nation's life and culture could be protected to some extent by the growth of armies in national competition. Today we must abandon competition and secure cooperation. This must be the central fact in all our considerations of international affairs; otherwise we face certain disaster. '''Past thinking and methods did not prevent world wars. Future thinking ''must'' prevent wars.'''

* ''Er ist eine Skala der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht.''
** '''It is a scale of proportions which makes the bad difficult and the good easy.'''
*** On the [[wikipedia:Modulor|Modulor]]. Letter sent to [[Le Corbusier]] (1946); quoted in ''Modulor'' (1953) &lt;!-- pages 58-59 French translation: Il s'agit d'une échelle de dimensions qui facilite la tâche du créateur; elle lui permet de réaliser facilement le juste et difficilement le faux. --&gt;

* '''When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.'''
** Cited as conversation between Einstein and János Plesch in ''János : The Story of a Doctor'' (1947), by János Plesch, translated by Edward FitzGerald &lt;!-- Pub. V. Gollancz --&gt;

* '''I agree with your remark about loving your enemy as far as actions are concerned. But for me the cognitive basis is the trust in an unrestricted causality.''' &quot;I cannot hate him, because he ''must'' do what he does.&quot; That means for me more [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] than the prophets.
** On the Christian maxim &quot;Love thy enemy&quot;, in a letter to [[wikipedia:Michele Besso|Michele Besso]] (6 January 1948)

* I just want to explain what I mean when I say that we should try to hold on to physical reality. &lt;br /&gt; We are ... all aware of the situation regarding what will turn out to be the basic foundational concepts in physics: the point-mass or the particle is surely not among them; the field, in the Faraday-Maxwell sense, might be, but not with certainty. But that which we conceive as existing (&quot;real&quot;) should somehow be localized in time and space. That is, the real in one part of space, ''A'', should (in theory) somehow &quot;exist&quot; independently of that which is thought of as real in another part of space, ''B''. If a physical system stretches over ''A'' and ''B'', then what is present in ''B'' should somehow have an existence independent of what is present in ''A''. What is actually present in ''B'' should thus not depend the type of measurement carried out in the part of space ''A''; it should also be independent of whether or not a measurement is made in ''A''. &lt;br /&gt; If one adheres to this program, then one can hardly view the quantum-theoretical description as a complete representation of the physically real. If one attempts, nevertheless, so to view it, then one must assume that the physically real in ''B'' undergoes a sudden change because of a measurement in ''A''. My physical instincts bristle at that suggestion. &lt;br /&gt; However, if one renounces the assumption that what is present in different parts of space has an independent, real existence, then I don't see at all what physics is supposed to be describing. For '''what is thought to be a &quot;system&quot; is after all, just conventional, and I do not see how one is supposed to divide up the world objectively so that one can make statements about parts.'''
** &quot;What must be an essential feature of any future fundamental physics?&quot; Letter to [[wikipedia:Max Born|Max Born]] (March 1948); published in ''Albert Einstein-Hedwig und Max Born'' (1969) &quot;Briefwechsel 1916-55&quot;&lt;!-- p. 223 Nymphenburger, Munich--&gt;, and in ''Potentiality, Entanglement and Passion-at-a-Distance: Quantum Mechanical Studies for Abner Shimony, Volume Two'' edited by Robert Cohen, Michael Horn, and John Stachel (1997), [http://books.google.com/books?id=DsNoIcQemTsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA121#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 121]

* Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
** As quoted in the essay &quot;To Albert Einstein's Seventieth Birthday&quot; by [[wikipedia:Arnold Sommerfeld|Arnold Sommerfeld]], ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/albert-einstein-philosopher-scientist/oclc/311439 Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist]'' (1949) edited by [[wikipedia:Paul Arthur Schilpp|Paul A. Schilpp]] (p. 102). The essay, originally published as &quot;Zum Siebzigsten Geburtstag Albert Einsteins&quot; in [http://www.worldcat.org/title/deutsche-beitrage-eine-zweimonatsschrift/oclc/183334232 Deutsche Beiträge (Eine Zweimonatsschrift)] Vol. III, No 2, 1949, was translated specifically for the book by Schilpp.

* '''I know not with what [[Weapon|weapons]] [[World War III]] will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.'''
** Interview with Alfred Werner, ''Liberal Judaism'' 16 (April-May 1949), &lt;!--  12. --&gt; Einstein Archive 30-1104, as sourced in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 173
** Differing versions of such a statement are attributed to conversations as early as 1948 (e.g. ''The Rotarian'', '''72''' (6), June 1948, [http://books.google.com/books?id=0UMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA9 p. 9]: &quot;I don't know. But I can tell you what they'll use in the fourth. They'll use rocks!&quot;). Another variant (&quot;I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones&quot;) is attributed to an unidentified letter to Harry S. Truman in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337/ &quot;The culture of Einstein&quot; by Alex Johnson], ''MSNBC'', (18 April 2005). &lt;!-- also http://web.archive.org/web/20050419230458/http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337//  publication of letter or location of archive welcom here --&gt; However, prior to 1948 very similar quotes were attributed in various articles to an unnamed army lieutenant, as discussed at [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/16/future-weapons/#more-679 ''Quote Investigator'' : &quot;The Futuristic Weapons of WW3 Are Unknown, But WW4 Will Be Fought With Stones and Spears&quot;]. The earliest found was from &quot;Quote and Unquote: Raising 'Alarmist' Cry Brings a Winchell Reply&quot; by [[Walter Winchell]], in the ''Wisconsin State Journal'' (23 September 1946), p. 6, Col. 3. In this article Winchell wrote: &lt;blockquote&gt; Joe Laitin reports that reporters at Bikini were questioning an army lieutenant about what weapons would be used in the next war. &quot;I dunno,&quot; he said, &quot;but in the war after the next war, sure as Hell, they'll be using spears!&quot; &lt;/blockquote&gt;
:: It seems plausible, therefore, that Einstein may have been quoting or paraphrasing an expression which he had heard or read elsewhere.

* '''A new idea comes suddenly and in a rather intuitive way. But intuition is nothing but the outcome of earlier intellectual experience.'''
** Letter to Dr. H. L. Gordon (May 3, 1949 - AEA 58-217) as quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' (2007) &lt;!-- p. 113 --&gt; by [[wikipedia:Walter Isaacson|Walter Isaacson]] &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|9780743264730}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it. 
** [[Albert Einstein]], as quoted by Virgil Henshaw in ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist'' (1949) edited by Paul A. Schilpp

* '''I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a childlike one.''' '''You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth.''' '''I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being.'''
** Letter to Guy H. Raner Jr. (28 September 1949), from article by Michael R. Gilmore in ''Skeptic'' magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2 (1997)

* The reciprocal relationship of epistemology and science is of noteworthy kind. They are dependent on each other. Epistemology without contact with science becomes an empty scheme. Science without epistemology is — insofar as it is thinkable at all — primitive and muddled. However, no sooner has the epistemologist, who is seeking a clear system, fought his way through to such a system, than he is inclined to interpret the thought-content of science in the sense of his system and to reject whatever does not fit into his system. The scientist, however, cannot afford to carry his striving for epistemological systematic that far. He accepts gratefully the epistemological conceptual analysis; but the external conditions, which are set for him by the facts of experience, do not permit him to let himself be too much restricted in the construction of his conceptual world by the adherence to an epistemological system. He therefore must appear to the systematic epistemologist as a type of unscrupulous opportunist: he appears as ''realist'' insofar as he seeks to describe a world independent of the acts of perception; as ''idealist'' insofar as he looks upon the concepts and theories as free inventions of the human spirit (not logically derivable from what is empirically given); as ''positivist'' insofar as he considers his concepts and theories justified ''only'' to the extent to which they furnish a logical representation of relations among sensory experiences. He may even appear as ''Platonist'' or ''Pythagorean'' insofar as he considers the viewpoint of logical simplicity as an indispensible and effective tool of his research.
** Contribution in ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist'', p. A. Schilpp, ed. (The Library of Living Philosophers, Evanston, IL (1949), p. 684). Quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ Einstein's Philosophy of Science]

==== ''Science and Religion'' (1941) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Science, Philosophy and Religion, A Symposium'', published by the ''Conference on Science, Philosophy and Religion in Their Relation to the Democratic Way of Life, Inc.'', New York (1941); later published in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950) &lt;!-- Philosophical Library --&gt; [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/scienceandreligion.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|A [[religious]] person is [[devout]] in the sense that he has no [[doubt]] of the significance and loftiness of those superpersonal objects and [[goals]] which neither require nor are capable of [[rational]] foundation. They exist with the same [[necessity]] and matter-of-factness as he [[himself]].]]
[[File:Glory,_spectre.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] without [[religion]] is lame, religion without science is [[blind]].]]
[[File:Halo_in_cirrostratus_1.jpg|thumb|A doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear [[light]] but only in the [[dark]], will of [[necessity]] lose its effect on [[mankind]], with incalculable harm to [[human]] [[progress]].]]
[[File:NautilusCutawayLogarithmicSpiral.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] not only [[purifies]] the [[religious]] impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious [[spiritualization]] of our [[understanding]] of [[life]].]]

* '''It would not be difficult to come to an agreement as to what we understand by science. Science is the century-old endeavor to bring together by means of systematic thought the perceptible phenomena of this world into as thoroughgoing an association as possible.''' To put it boldly, it is the attempt at the posterior reconstruction of existence by the process of conceptualization. '''But when asking myself what religion is I cannot think of the answer so easily. And even after finding an answer which may satisfy me at this particular moment, I still remain convinced that I can never under any circumstances bring together, even to a slight extent, the thoughts of all those who have given this question serious consideration.'''

* '''A person who is religiously enlightened appears to me to be one who has, to the best of his ability, liberated himself from the fetters of his selfish desires and is preoccupied with thoughts, feelings, and aspirations to which he clings because of their superpersonal value.''' It seems to me that what is important is the force of this superpersonal content and the depth of the conviction concerning its overpowering meaningfulness, regardless of whether any attempt is made to unite this content with a divine Being, for otherwise it would not be possible to count [[Gautama Buddha|Buddha]] and [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] as religious personalities. '''Accordingly, a religious person is devout in the sense that he has no doubt of the significance and loftiness of those superpersonal objects and goals which neither require nor are capable of rational foundation. They exist with the same necessity and matter-of-factness as he himself.''' In this sense religion is the age-old endeavor of mankind to become clearly and completely conscious of these values and goals and constantly to strengthen and extend their effect. If one conceives of religion and science according to these definitions then a conflict between them appears impossible. For science can only ascertain what is, but not what should be, and outside of its domain value judgments of all kinds remain necessary.

* A conflict arises when a religious community insists on the absolute truthfulness of all statements recorded in the Bible. This means an intervention on the part of religion into the sphere of science; this is where the struggle of the Church against the doctrines of Galileo and Darwin belongs. On the other hand, representatives of science have often made an attempt to arrive at fundamental judgments with respect to values and ends on the basis of scientific method, and in this way have set themselves in opposition to religion. These conflicts have all sprung from fatal errors.

* '''Even though the realms of religion and science in themselves are clearly marked off from each other, nevertheless there exist between the two strong reciprocal relationships and dependencies.''' Though religion may be that which determines the goal, it has, nevertheless, learned from science, in the broadest sense, what means will contribute to the attainment of the goals it has set up. But '''science can only be created by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion. To this there also belongs the faith in the possibility that the regulations valid for the world of existence are rational, that is, comprehensible to reason. I cannot conceive of a genuine scientist without that profound faith.''' The situation may be expressed by an image: '''science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.'''&lt;br /&gt; Though I have asserted above that in truth a legitimate conflict between religion and science cannot exist, I must nevertheless qualify this assertion once again on an essential point, with reference to the actual content of historical religions. This qualification has to do with the concept of God. During the youthful period of mankind's spiritual evolution human fantasy created gods in man's own image, who, by the operations of their will were supposed to determine, or at any rate to influence, the phenomenal world. Man sought to alter the disposition of these gods in his own favor by means of magic and prayer. The idea of God in the religions taught at present is a sublimation of that old concept of the gods. Its anthropomorphic character is shown, for instance, by the fact that men appeal to the Divine Being in prayers and plead for the fulfillment of their wishes.

* '''Nobody, certainly, will deny that the idea of the existence of an omnipotent, just, and omnibeneficent personal God is able to accord man solace, help, and guidance; also, by virtue of its simplicity it is accessible to the most undeveloped mind. But, on the other hand, there are decisive weaknesses attached to this idea in itself, which have been painfully felt since the beginning of history.''' That is, if this being is omnipotent, then every occurrence, including every human action, every human thought, and every human feeling and aspiration is also His work; how is it possible to think of holding men responsible for their deeds and thoughts before such an almighty Being? In giving out punishment and rewards He would to a certain extent be passing judgment on Himself. How can this be combined with the goodness and righteousness ascribed to Him?&lt;br /&gt; '''The main source of the present-day conflicts between the spheres of religion and of science lies in this concept of a personal God.'''

* When the number of factors coming into play in a phenomenological complex is too large, scientific method in most cases fails us. One need only think of the weather, in which case prediction even for a few days ahead is impossible. Nevertheless no one doubts that we are confronted with a causal connection whose causal components are in the main known to us.&lt;br /&gt;Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction because of the variety of factors in operation, not because of any lack of order in nature.

* The more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events the firmer becomes his conviction that there is no room left by the side of this ordered regularity for causes of a different nature. For him neither the rule of human nor the rule of divine will exists as an independent cause of natural events. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God interfering with natural events could never be refuted, in the real sense, by science, for this doctrine can always take refuge in those domains in which scientific knowledge has not yet been able to set foot.&lt;br /&gt; But I am persuaded that such behavior on the part of the representatives of religion would not only be unworthy but also fatal. For a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God, that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such vast power in the hands of priests. In their labors they will have to avail themselves of those forces which are capable of cultivating the Good, the True, and the Beautiful in humanity itself. This is, to be sure, a more difficult but an incomparably more worthy task.

* If it is one of the goals of religion to liberate mankind as far as possible from the bondage of egocentric cravings, desires, and fears, scientific reasoning can aid religion in yet another sense. Although it is true that it is the goal of science to discover rules which permit the association and foretelling of facts, this is not its only aim. It also seeks to reduce the connections discovered to the smallest possible number of mutually independent conceptual elements.&lt;br /&gt;It is in this striving after the rational unification of the manifold that it encounters its greatest successes, even though it is precisely this attempt which causes it to run the greatest risk of falling a prey to illusions. '''But whoever has undergone the intense experience of successful advances made in this domain is moved by profound reverence for the rationality made manifest in existence.''' By way of the understanding he achieves a far-reaching emancipation from the shackles of personal hopes and desires, and thereby attains that humble attitude of mind toward the grandeur of reason incarnate in existence, and which, in its profoundest depths, is inaccessible to man.&lt;br /&gt;This attitude, however, appears to me to be religious, in the highest sense of the word. And so it seems to me that '''science not only purifies the religious impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious spiritualization of our understanding of life.'''&lt;br /&gt;The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.

==== ''Only Then Shall We Find Courage'' (1946) ====
{{main|Albert Einstein and politics#Only Then Shall We Find Courage (1946)}}
* A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
** Remark to scientist [[w:Herman Francis Mark|Herman Francis Mark]]

==== ''Religion and Science: Irreconcilable?'' (1948) ====
[[File:ReligionSymbol.svg|thumb|[[Religion]] is concerned with man's [[attitude]] toward [[nature]] at large, with the establishing of [[ideals]] for the individual and communal [[life]], and with mutual [[human]] relationship.]]
: &lt;small&gt;''The Christian Register'' (June 1948); republished in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/irrec.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Mahatma_Buddha.jpg|thumb|The [[great]] [[moral]] [[teachers]] of [[humanity]] were, in a way, [[artistic]] [[geniuses]] in the art of [[living]].]]

* '''Does there truly exist an insuperable contradiction between religion and science? Can religion be superseded by science? The answers to these questions have, for centuries, given rise to considerable dispute and, indeed, bitter fighting. Yet, in my own mind there can be no doubt that in both cases a dispassionate consideration can only lead to a negative answer.''' What complicates the solution, however, is the fact that while most people readily agree on what is meant by &quot;science,&quot; they are likely to differ on the meaning of &quot;religion.&quot;

* '''Science, in the immediate, produces knowledge and, indirectly, means of action. It leads to methodical action if definite goals are set up in advance. For the function of setting up goals and passing statements of value transcends its domain.''' While it is true that science, to the extent of its grasp of causative connections, may reach important conclusions as to the compatibility and incompatibility of goals and evaluations, the independent and fundamental definitions regarding goals and values remain beyond science's reach.&lt;br /&gt;As regards religion, on the other hand, one is generally agreed that it deals with goals and evaluations and, in general, with the emotional foundation of human thinking and acting, as far as these are not predetermined by the inalterable hereditary disposition of the human species. '''Religion is concerned with man's attitude toward nature at large, with the establishing of ideals for the individual and communal life, and with mutual human relationship.''' These ideals religion attempts to attain by exerting an educational influence on tradition and through the development and promulgation of certain easily accessible thoughts and narratives (epics and myths) which are apt to influence evaluation and action along the lines of the accepted ideals.

* It is this mythical, or rather this symbolic, content of the religious traditions which is likely to come into conflict with science. This occurs whenever this religious stock of ideas contains dogmatically fixed statements on subjects which belong in the domain of science. Thus, it is of vital importance for the preservation of true religion that such conflicts be avoided when they arise from subjects which, in fact, are not really essential for the pursuance of the religious aims.

* The moral attitudes of a people that is supported by religion need always aim at preserving and promoting the sanity and vitality of the community and its individuals, since otherwise this community is bound to perish. '''A people that were to honor falsehood, defamation, fraud, and murder would be unable, indeed, to subsist for very long.'''

* '''The great moral teachers of humanity were, in a way, artistic geniuses in the art of living.'''

* '''While religion prescribes brotherly love in the relations among the individuals and groups, the actual spectacle more resembles a battlefield than an orchestra.''' Everywhere, in economic as well as in political life, the guiding principle is one of ruthless striving for success at the expense of one's fellow men. This competitive spirit prevails even in school and, destroying all feelings of human fraternity and cooperation, conceives of achievement not as derived from the love for productive and thoughtful work, but as springing from personal ambition and fear of rejection.&lt;br /&gt; '''There are pessimists who hold that such a state of affairs is necessarily inherent in human nature; it is those who propound such views that are the enemies of true religion, for they imply thereby that religious teachings are Utopian ideals and unsuited to afford guidance in human affairs.''' The study of the social patterns in certain so-called primitive cultures, however, seems to have made it sufficiently evident that such a defeatist view is wholly unwarranted.

* While it is true that scientific results are entirely independent from religious or moral considerations, those individuals to whom we owe the great creative achievements of science were all of them imbued with the truly religious conviction that this universe of ours is something perfect and susceptible to the rational striving for knowledge. If this conviction had not been a strongly emotional one and if those searching for knowledge had not been inspired by Spinoza's ''Amor Dei Intellectualis'', they would hardly have been capable of that untiring devotion which alone enables man to attain his greatest achievements.

==== &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot; (1949) ====
: &lt;small&gt;Published in ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/albert-einstein-philosopher-scientist/oclc/311439 Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist]'' (1949) edited by [[wikipedia:Paul Arthur Schilpp|Paul A. Schilpp]]. Reprinted in ''A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion: The Essential Scientific Works of Albert Einstein'' (2009) edited by [[Stephen Hawking]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA339#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 339].&lt;/small&gt;
* Even when I was a fairly precocious young man the nothingness of the hopes and strivings which chases most men restlessly through life came to my consciousness with considerable vitality. Moreover, I soon discovered the cruelty of that chase, which in those years was much more carefully covered up by hypocrisy and glittering words than is the case today. By the mere existence of his stomach everyone was condemned to participate in that chase. Moreover, it was possible to satisfy the stomach by such participation, but not man in so far as he is a thinking and feeling being. As the first way out there was religion, which is implanted into every child by way of the traditional education-machine. '''Thus I came—despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents—to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.''' Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression. '''Suspicion against every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the convictions which were alive in any specific social environment—an attitude which has never again left me''', even though later on, because of a better insight into the causal connections, it lost some of its original poignancy.&lt;!-- p. 339-340 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* '''It is quite clear to me that the religious paradise of youth, which was thus lost, was a first attempt to free myself from the chains of the &quot;merely-personal,&quot; from an existence which is dominated by wishes, hopes and primitive feelings.''' Out yonder there was this huge world, which exists independently of us human beings and which stands before us like a great, eternal riddle, at least partially accessible to our inspection and thinking. The contemplation of this world beckoned like a liberation, and I soon noticed that many a man whom I had learned to esteem and to admire had found inner freedom and security in devoted occupation with it. The mental grasp of this extrapersonal world within the frame of the given possibilites swam as highest aim half consciously and half unconsciously before my mind's eye. Similarly motivated men of the present and of the past, as well as the insights which they had achieved, were the friends which could not be lost. '''The road to this paradise was not as comfortable and alluring as the road to the religious paradise; but it has proved itself as trustworthy, and I have never regretted having chosen it.'''&lt;!-- 340 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* For me it is not dubious that our thinking goes on for the most part without use of signs (words) and beyond that to a considerable degree unconsciously. For how, otherwise, should it happen that sometimes we &quot;wonder&quot; quite spontaneously about some experience? This &quot;wondering&quot; seems to occur when an experience comes into conflict with a world of concepts which is already sufficiently fixed in us. Whenever such a conflict is experienced hard and intensively it reacts back upon our thought world in a decisive way. The development of this thought world is in a certain sense a continuous flight from &quot;wonder.&quot;&lt;!-- pp. 341-342 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* '''A wonder of such nature I experienced as a child of 4 or 5 years, when my father showed me a compass.''' That this needle behaved in such a determined way did not at all fit into the nature of events, which could find a place in the unconscious world of concepts (effect connected with direct &quot;touch&quot;). I can still remember—or at least believe I can remember—that this experience made a deep and lasting impression upon me. Something deeply hidden had to be behind things. What man sees before him from infancy causes no reaction of this kind; he is not surprised over the falling of bodies, concerning wind and rain, nor concerning the moon or about the fact that the moon does not fall down, nor concerning the differences between living and non-living matter.&lt;br /&gt;At the age of 12 I experienced a second wonder of a totally different nature: in a little book dealing with Euclidean plane geometry, which came into my hands at the beginning of a schoolyear. Here were assertions, as for example the intersection of the three altitudes of a triangle in one point, which—though by no means evident—could nevertheless be proved with such certainty that any doubt appeared to be out of the question. This lucidity and certainty made an indescribable impression upon me. That the axioms had to be accepted unproved did not disturb me. In any case it was quite sufficient for me if I could peg proofs upon propositions the validity of which did not seem to me to be dubious.&lt;!-- 342 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect [upon me] that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year. &lt;!-- p. 346 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.&lt;!-- p. 346 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* ''Eine Theorie ist desto eindrucksvoller, je größer die Einfachheit ihrer Prämissen ist, je verschiedenartigere Dinge sie verknüpft, und je weiter ihr Anwendungsbereich ist.''
** '''A theory is the more impressive, the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more diverse things it connects, and the wider its scope''' &lt;!-- 353 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* Reflections of this type made it clear to me as long ago as shortly after 1900, i.e., shortly after Planck's trailblazing work, that neither mechanics nor electrodynamics could (except in limiting cases) claim exact validity. By and by I despaired of the possibility of discovering the true laws by means of constructive efforts based on known facts. The longer and the more despairingly I tried, the more I came to the conviction that only the discovery of a universal formal principle could lead us to assured results. . . . How, then, could such a universal principle be found? '''After ten years of reflection such a principle resulted from a paradox upon which I had already hit at the age of sixteen: If I pursue a beam of light with the velocity ''c'' (velocity of light in a vacuum), I should observe such a beam as a spatially oscillatory electromagnetic field at rest. However, there seems to be no such thing, whether on the bases of experience or according to Maxwell's equations.''' From the very beginning it appeared to me intuitively clear that, judged from the stand-point of such an observer, everything would have to happen according to the same laws as for an observer who, relative to the earth, was at rest.&lt;!-- 362-363 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

==== &quot;Einstein's Reply to Criticisms&quot; (1949) ====
:&lt;small&gt;&quot;Einstein's Reply to Criticisms&quot;, ''Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist'' (1949), p. 672&lt;!-- Cambridge University Press --&gt;&lt;/small&gt; 
* I now imagine a quantum theoretician who may even admit that the quantum-theoretical description refers to ensembles of systems and not to individual systems, but who, nevertheless, clings to the idea that the type of description of the statistical quantum theory will, in its essential features, be retained in the future. He may argue as follows: True, I admit that the quantum-theoretical description is an incomplete description of the individual system. I even admit that a complete theoretical description is, in principle, thinkable. But I consider it proven that the search for such a complete description would be aimless. For the lawfulness of nature is thus constituted that the laws can be completely and suitably formulated within the framework of our incomplete description. &lt;br /&gt; To this I can only reply as follows: Your point of view — taken as theoretical possibility — is incontestable. For me, however, the expectation that the adequate formulation of the universal laws involves the use of ''all'' conceptual elements which are necessary for a complete description, is more natural. It is furthermore not at all surprising that, by using an incomplete description, (in the main) only statistical statements can be obtained out of such description. If it should be possible to move forward to a complete description, it is likely that the laws would represent relations among all the conceptual elements of this description which, ''per se'', have nothing to do with statistics.

==== ''The World As I See It'' (1949) ====
: &lt;small&gt;For the title essay in this work see [[Albert Einstein#Mein Weltbild (1931)|Mein Weltbild (1931)]] above.&lt;!-- Philosophical Library, New York, --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Maurycy_Gottlieb_-_Jews_Praying_in_the_Synagogue_on_Yom_Kippur.jpg|thumb|The man who regards his own [[life]] and that of his fellow creatures as [[meaningless]] is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for [[life]].]]
'''The Meaning of Life'''

* '''What is the [[Meaning of life|meaning of human life]], or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion.''' Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? '''I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life.'''

* '''This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of the herd nature, the military system, which I abhor. That a man can take pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to make me despise him. He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a backbone was all he needed. This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism by order, senseless violence, and all the pestilent nonsense that does by the name of patriotism--how I hate them! War seems to me a mean, contemptible thing: I would rather be hacked in pieces than take part in such an abominable business. And yet so high, in spite of everything, is my opinion of the human race that I believe this bogey would have disappeared long ago, had the sound sense of the nations not been systematically corrupted by commercial and political interests acting through the schools and the Press.'''

'''Good and Evil'''

* '''''The true value of a human being'' is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self.'''

'''Society and Personality'''

* '''When we survey our lives and endeavors we soon observe that almost the whole of our actions and desires are bound up with the existence of other human beings.''' We see that our whole nature resembles that of the social animals. We eat food that others have grown, wear clothes that others have made, live in houses that others have built. The greater part of our knowledge and beliefs has been communicated to us by other people through the medium of a language which others have created. Without language our mental capacities would be poor indeed, comparable to those of the higher animals; we have, therefore, to admit that we owe our principal advantage over the beasts to the fact of living in human society. '''The individual, if left alone from birth would remain primitive and beast-like in his thoughts and feelings to a degree that we can hardly conceive. The individual is what he is and has the significance that he has not so much in virtue of his individuality, but rather as a member of a great human society, which directs his material and spiritual existence from the cradle to the grave.'''

[[File:Gandhi_smiling_1942.jpg|thumb|The example of [[great]] and [[pure]] characters is the only thing that can produce fine [[ideas]] and [[noble]] [[deeds]].]]
* '''A man's value to the community depends primarily on how far his feelings, thoughts, and actions are directed towards promoting the good of his fellows.''' We call him good or bad according to how he stands in this matter. It looks at first sight as if our estimate of a man depended entirely on his social qualities. &lt;br /&gt; '''And yet such an attitude would be wrong.''' It is clear that all the valuable things, material, spiritual, and moral, which we receive from society can be traced back through countless generations to certain creative individuals. The use of fire, the cultivation of edible plants, the steam engine — each was discovered by one man.&lt;br /&gt; '''Only the individual can think, and thereby create new values for society — nay, even set up new moral standards to which the life of the community conforms. Without creative, independently thinking and judging personalities the upward development of society is as unthinkable as the development of the individual personality without the nourishing soil of the community.&lt;br /&gt;   The health of society thus depends quite as much on the independence of the individuals composing it as on their close political cohesion.'''

'''Of Wealth'''

* I am absolutely convinced that no wealth in the world can help humanity forward, even in the hands of the most devoted worker in this cause. '''The example of great and pure characters is the only thing that can produce fine ideas and noble deeds.''' Money only appeals to selfishness and always tempts its owners irresistibly to abuse it.&lt;br /&gt; '''Can anyone imagine [[Moses]], [[Jesus]], or [[Gandhi]] armed with the money-bags of [[Andrew Carnegie|Carnegie]]?'''

'''Religion in Science'''

* '''You will hardly find one among the profounder sort of scientific minds without a peculiar religious feeling of his own. But it is different from the religion of the naive man. For the latter God is a being from whose care one hopes to benefit and whose punishment one fears; a sublimation of a feeling similar to that of a child for its father, a being to whom one stands to some extent in a personal relation, however deeply it may be tinged with awe. But the scientist is possessed by the sense of universal causation. The future, to him, is every whit as necessary and determined as the past. There is nothing divine about morality, it is a purely human affair. His religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection.''' This feeling is the guiding principle of his life and work, in so far as he succeeds in keeping himself from the shackles of selfish desire. It is beyond question closely akin to that which has possessed the religious geniuses of all ages.

'''Greeting to G. Bernard Shaw'''

* '''There are few enough people with sufficient independence to see the weaknesses and follies of their contemporaries and remain themselves untouched by them.''' And these isolated few usually soon lose their zeal for putting things to rights when they have come face to face with human obduracy. '''Only to a tiny minority is it given to fascinate their generation by subtle humour and grace and to hold the mirror up to it by the impersonal agency of art. To-day I salute with sincere emotion the supreme master of this method, who has delighted — and educated — us all.'''

'''Some Notes on my American Impressions'''
: first published as &quot;My First Impression of the U.S.A.&quot; (1921)

* The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the Prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in the United States is closely connected with this.

* The cult of individual personalities is always, in my view, unjustified. To be sure, nature distributes her gifts variously among her children. But there are plenty of the well-endowed ones too, thank God, and I am firmly convinced that most of them live quiet, unregarded lives. It strikes me as unfair, and even in bad taste, to select a few of them for boundless admiration, attributing superhuman powers of mind and character to them. This has been my fate, and the contrast between the popular estimate of my powers and achievements and the reality is simply grotesque. '''The consciousness of this extraordinary state of affairs would be unbearable but for one great consoling thought: it is a welcome symptom in an age which is commonly denounced as materialistic, that it makes heroes of men whose ambitions lie wholly in the intellectual and moral sphere. This proves that knowledge and justice are ranked above wealth and power by a large section of the human race.''' My experience teaches me that this idealistic outlook is particularly prevalent in America, which is usually decried as a particularly materialistic country.

* The United States is the most powerful technically advanced country in the world to-day. Its influence on the shaping of international relations is absolutely incalculable. But America is a large country and its people have so far not shown much interest in great international problems, among which the problem of disarmament occupies first place today. This must be changed, if only in the essential interests of the Americans. The last war has shown that there are no longer any barriers between the continents and that the destinies of all countries are closely interwoven. The people of this country must realize that they have a great responsibility in the sphere of international politics. The part of passive spectator is unworthy of this country and is bound in the end to lead to disaster all round.

'''Letter to a Friend of Peace'''

* Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts&lt;!-- p. 66 of the edition at http://books.google.com/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA66#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false --&gt;

'''Production and Work'''

* Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work.

[[File:Redentor.jpg|thumb|If one purges the [[Judaism]] of the [[Prophets]] and [[Christianity]] as [[Jesus]] [[Christ]] taught it of all subsequent additions, especially those of the priests, one is left with a [[teaching]] which is capable of curing all the [[social]] ills of [[humanity]].]]
'''Christianity and Judaism'''

* '''If one purges the Judaism of the Prophets and Christianity as Jesus Christ taught it of all subsequent additions, especially those of the priests, one is left with a teaching which is capable of curing all the social ills of humanity. &lt;br /&gt;   It is the duty of every man of good will to strive steadfastly in his own little world to make this teaching of pure humanity a living force, so far as he can.''' If he makes an honest attempt in this direction without being crushed and trampled under foot by his contemporaries, he may consider himself and the community to which he belongs lucky.

'''Unconfirmed:'''
: The following quotes have been cited as being from ''The World As I See It'' but are not in later ''abridged'' editions of the original 1949 book and thus these citations are not yet confirmed.

* May the conscience and the common sense of the peoples be awakened, so that we may reach a new stage in the life of nations, where people will look back on war as an incomprehensible aberration of their forefathers!

* The state is made for man, not man for the state. And in this respect science resembles the state.

====''{{w|Why Socialism?}}'' (1949)====
:&lt;small&gt; These are just a few select quotes from Einstein's article &quot;Why Socialism?&quot; in ''Monthly Review'' [http://www.monthlyreview.org/598einst.htm] New York (May 1949); for others see:&lt;/small&gt;
{{Main|Albert Einstein and politics#Why Socialism? (1949)}}

* '''Historic tradition is, so to speak, of yesterday; nowhere have we really overcome what [[Thorstein Veblen]] called &quot;[[W:Thorstein Veblen#Veblen's economics and politics|the predatory phase]]&quot; of human development.''' The observable economic facts belong to that phase and even such laws as we can derive from them are not applicable to other phases. Since the real purpose of [[socialism]] is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development, economic science in its present state can throw little light on the socialist society of the future.

* '''Socialism is directed towards a social-ethical end.''' Science, however, cannot create ends and, even less, instill them in human beings; science, at most, can supply the means by which to attain certain ends. But the ends themselves are conceived by personalities with lofty ethical ideals and — if these ends are not stillborn, but vital and vigorous — are adopted and carried forward by those many human beings who, half unconsciously, determine the slow evolution of society. For these reasons, '''we should be on our guard not to overestimate science and scientific methods when it is a question of human problems; and we should not assume that experts are the only ones who have a right to express themselves on questions affecting the organization of society.'''

* '''I am very conscious of the fact that our feelings and strivings are often contradictory and obscure and that they cannot be expressed in easy and simple formulas.'''

* Man is, at one and the same time, a solitary being and a social being. As a solitary being, he attempts to protect his own existence and that of those who are closest to him, to satisfy his personal desires, and to develop his innate abilities. As a social being, he seeks to gain the recognition and affection of his fellow human beings, to share in their pleasures, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to improve their conditions of life. Only the existence of these varied, frequently conflicting, strivings accounts for the special character of a man, and their specific combination determines the extent to which an individual can achieve an inner equilibrium and can contribute to the well-being of society.

* The abstract concept &quot;society&quot; means to the individual human being the sum total of his direct and indirect relations to his contemporaries and to all the people of earlier generations. The individual is able to think, feel, strive, and work by himself; but he depends so much upon society — in his physical, intellectual, and emotional existence — that it is impossible to think of him, or to understand him, outside the framework of society. It is &quot;society&quot; which provides man with food, clothing, a home, the tools of work, language, the forms of thought, and most of the content of thought; his life is made possible through the labor and the accomplishments of the many millions past and present who are all hidden behind the small word &quot;society.&quot;

* The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence. Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate.

* The owner of the means of production is in a position to purchase the labor power of the worker. By using the means of production, the worker produces new goods which become the property of the capitalist. The essential point about this process is the relation between what the worker produces and what he is paid, both measured in terms of real value. In so far as the labor contract is free what the worker receives is determined not by the real value of the goods he produces, but by his minimum needs and by the capitalists' requirements for labor power in relation to the number of workers competing for jobs. '''It is important to understand that even in theory the payment of the worker is not determined by the value of his product.'''

* '''I have now reached the point where I may indicate briefly what to me constitutes the essence of the crisis of our time. It concerns the relationship of the individual to society. The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence.''' Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate. '''All human beings, whatever their position in society, are suffering from this process of deterioration. Unknowingly prisoners of their own egotism, they feel insecure, lonely, and deprived of the naive, simple, and unsophisticated enjoyment of life. Man can find meaning in life, short and perilous as it is, only through devoting himself to society.'''

* '''The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil.''' We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labor — not by force, but on the whole in faithful compliance with legally established rules.

* '''Production is carried on for profit, not for use.''' There is no provision that all those able and willing to work will always be in a position to find employment; an &quot;army of unemployed&quot; almost always exists. The worker is constantly in fear of losing his job. Since unemployed and poorly paid workers do not provide a profitable market, the production of consumers' goods is restricted, and great hardship is the consequence. '''Technological progress frequently results in more unemployment rather than in an easing of the burden of work for all.''' The profit motive, in conjunction with competition among capitalists, is responsible for an instability in the [[Capital accumulation|accumulation]] and utilization of capital which leads to increasingly severe depressions. Unlimited competition leads to a huge waste of labor, and to that crippling of the social consciousness of individuals.

* '''I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.''' In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilized in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman, and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society. '''Nevertheless, it is necessary to remember that a planned economy is not yet socialism. A planned economy as such may be accompanied by the complete enslavement of the individual.''' The achievement of socialism requires the solution of some extremely difficult socio-political problems: how is it possible, in view of the far-reaching centralisation of political and economic power, to prevent bureaucracy from becoming all-powerful and overweening? '''How can the rights of the individual be protected and therewith a democratic counterweight to the power of bureaucracy be assured?'''

* '''Private capital tends to become concentrated in few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of smaller ones.''' The result of these developments is an [[oligarchy]] of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. '''The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists inevitably control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights.'''

=== 1950s ===
[[File:Flag_of_the_United_Nations.svg|thumb|Striving for [[peace]] and preparing for [[war]] are incompatible with each other, and in our time more so than ever.]]
[[File:Gandhi_Commons.jpg|thumb| [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most [[enlightened]] of all the [[political]] men in our time. We should strive to do things in his [[spirit]]... not to use [[violence]] in [[fighting]] for our cause, but by non-participation in what we [[believe]] is [[evil]].]]
[[File:HD.3A.006_(10555707034).jpg|thumb|Without &quot;[[ethical culture]],&quot; there is no [[salvation]] for [[humanity]].]]

* '''Taken on the whole, I would believe that [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time.''' We should strive to do things in his spirit... not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non-participation in what we believe is evil.
** [http://streams.gandhiserve.org/einstein.html United Nations radio interview] recorded in Einstein's study, Princeton, New Jersey (1950)

*''Ein Mensch ist ein räumlich und zeitlich beschränktes Stück des Ganzen, was wir „Universum&quot; nennen. Er erlebt sich und sein Fühlen als abgetrennt gegenüber dem Rest, eine optische Täuschung seines Bewusstseins. Das Streben nach Befreiung von dieser Fesselung ist der einzige Gegenstand wirklicher Religion. Nicht das Nähren der Illusion sondern nur ihre Überwindung gibt uns das erreichbare Maß inneren Friedens.''
** '''A human being is a part of the whole, called by us &quot;Universe&quot;, a part limited in time and space.''' He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish the delusion but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of peace of mind.
*** [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/11/delusion.html Letter of condolence sent to Robert J. Marcus of the World Jewish Congress (12 February 1950)] · [https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jonah-c-steinberg/beyond-the-delusion-of-se_b_13219428.html Above translation and original German draft]
** Variant translations:
** A human being is a spatially and temporally limited piece of the whole, what we call the &quot;Universe.&quot; He experiences himself and his feelings as separate from the rest, an optical illusion of his consciousness. The quest for liberation from this bondage is the only object of true religion. Not nurturing the illusion but only overcoming it gives us the attainable measure of inner peace.
*** Google translation of Germant text of Einsteins handwritten note, quoted in [https://thymindoman.com/2018/03/29/einsteins-misquote-on-the-illusion-of-feeling-separate-from-the-whole/ Original draft, texts of letters, and variant translations in &quot;Einstein's Misquote on the Illusion of Feeling Separate from the Whole&quot; (29 March 2018)]
** Variant (Another letter of condolence to another person, written soon after, using the first sentence of the above): 
** A human being is a part of the whole, called by us &quot;Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.
*** [https://books.google.com/books?id=kABUCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PT11&amp;dq=einstein%20%22norman%20salit%22%20%22part%20of%20the%20whole%22&amp;pg=PT11#v=onepage&amp;q=einstein%20%22norman%20salit%22%20%22part%20of%20the%20whole%22&amp;f=false Condolence letter to Norman Salit, (4 March 1950)]; also quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1972/03/29/archives/the-einstein-papers-a-man-of-many-parts-the-einstein-papers-man-of.html &quot;The Einstein Papers. A Man of Many Parts&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (29 March 1972), p. 1]

* I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs.
** Statement upon joining the Montreal Pipe Smokers Club (1950)

* '''I believe, indeed, that overemphasis on the purely intellectual attitude, often directed solely to the practical and factual, in our education, has led directly to the impairment of ethical values.''' I am not thinking so much of the dangers with which technical progress has directly confronted mankind, as of the stifling of mutual human considerations by a &quot;matter-of-fact&quot; habit of thought which has come to lie like a killing frost upon human relations. ... The frightful dilemma of the political world situation has much to do with this sin of omission on the part of our civilization. '''Without &quot;ethical culture,&quot; there is no salvation for humanity.'''
** &quot;The Need for Ethical Culture&quot; celebrating the seventy-fifth anniversary of the [[wikipedia:Ethical Culture|Ethical Culture Society]], founded by [[Felix Adler]] (5 January 1951) (the full remarks can be found in [http://books.google.com/books?id=UppFAAAAYAAJ Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein and Carl Seelig])

* One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike—and yet it is the most precious thing we have.
** Letter to Hans Muehsam (9 July 1951), Einstein Archives 38-408, quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' (2010) by Alice Calaprice, [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA404#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 404]

* ''Ich habe keine besondere Begabung, sondern bin nur leidenschaftlich neugierig.''
** I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
** Letter to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Seelig Carl Seelig] (11 March 1952), Einstein Archives 39-013

* ''Einer, der nur Zeitungen liest und, wenn's hochkommt, Bücher zeitgenössischer Autoren, kommt mir vor wie ein hochgradig Kurzsichtiger, der es verschmäht, Augengläser zu tragen. Er ist völlig abhängig von den vorurteilen und Moden seiner Zeit, denn er bekommt nichts anderes zu sehen und zu hören. Und was einer selbständig denkt ohne Anlehnung an das Denken und Erleben anderer, ist auch im besten Falle Ziemlich ärmlich und monoton.''
** Translation: Somebody who reads only newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors appears to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else. And what a person thinks on his own, without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of other people, is, similarly, even in the best case rather paltry and monotonous.
** Article in Der Jungkaufmann, [http://www.archive.org/stream/alberteinstein_03_reel03#page/n302/mode/1up April 1952], Einstein Archives 28-972

* A truly rational theory would allow us to deduce the elementary particles (electron, etc.) and not be forced to state them a priori.
** Letter to Michele Besso (10 September 1952), Letter n°190, ''Correspondance, 1903-1955'' (1972), by Pierre Speziali and Michele Angelo Besso &lt;!-- published by Hermann --&gt;

* It is not enough to teach a man a specialty. Through it he may become a kind of useful machine but not a harmoniously developed personality. It is essential that the student acquire an understanding of and a lively feeling for values. He must acquire a vivid sense of the beautiful and of the morally good. Otherwise he—with his specialized knowledge—more closely resembles a well-trained dog than a harmoniously developed person. '''He must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their sufferings in order to acquire a proper relationship to individual fellow-men and to the community.''' These precious things are conveyed to the younger generation through personal contact with those who teach, not—or at least not in the main—through textbooks. It is this that primarily constitutes and preserves culture. This is what I have in mind when I recommend the &quot;humanities&quot; as important, not just dry specialized knowledge in the fields of history and philosophy.
** &quot;Education for Independent Thought&quot; in ''The New York Times'', 5 October 1952. Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954)

* '''I think that only daring speculation can lead us further and not accumulation of facts.'''
** Letter to Michele Besso (8 October 1952). According to ''Scientifically speaking: a dictionary of quotations, Volume 1'' (2002), [http://books.google.com/books?id=FFIBzawsfPEC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA154#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 154], the letter is reprinted on p. 487 of ''Correspondance 1903-1955'' (1972) by Michele Besso.

* What lead me more or less directly to the special theory of relativity was the conviction that the electromotive force acting on a body in motion in a magnetic field was nothing else but an electric field.
** Letter to the Michelson Commemorative Meeting of the Cleveland Physics Society (1952), as quoted by R.S.Shankland, Am J Phys 32, 16 (1964), p35, republished in A P French, ''Special Relativity'', {{ISBN|0177710756}}

* The strange thing about growing old is that the intimate identification with the here and now is slowly lost; one feels transposed into infinity, more or less alone, no longer in hope or fear, only observing.
** Letter to Queen Mother Elisabeth of Belgium (12 January 1953), Einstein Archive 32-405. Quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Creator and Rebel'' by Banesh Hoffman (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=sdDaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22no+longer+in+hope+or+fear%22#search_anchor p. 261], and also partially quoted (with a reference to the exact date of the letter) in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2007), p. 536

* {{anchor|tolerate_evil}} What I particularly admire in him is the firm stand he has taken, not only against the oppressors of his countrymen, but also against those opportunists who are always ready to compromise with the Devil. He perceives very clearly that '''the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.'''
** Einstein's tribute to [[Pablo Casals]] (30 March 1953), in ''Conversations with Casals'' (1957), page 11, by Josep Maria Corredor, translated from ''Conversations avec Pablo Casals : souvenirs et opinions d'un musicien'' (1955)
** Variant translations or paraphrasing:
*** The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
**** As quoted in ''The Harper Book of Quotations'' by Robert I. Fitzhenry (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=THl7kUfSqCUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA356#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 356]
*** The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
**** As quoted in ''Conscious Courage : Turning Everyday Challenges Into Opportunities'' (2004) by Maureen Stearns, p. 99
*** The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.

* Development of Western Science is based on two great achievements, the invention of the formal logical system (in Euclidean geometry) by the Greek philosophers, and the discovery of the possibility to find out causal relationships by systematic experiment (Renaissance). In my opinion one has not to be astonished that the Chinese sages have not made these steps. The astonishing thing is that these discoveries were made at all.
** Letter to J.S. Switzer (23 April 1953), quoted in ''The Scientific Revolution: a Hstoriographical Inquiry'' By [[H. Floris Cohen]] (1994), [http://books.google.com/books?id=wu8b2NAqnb0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA234#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 234], and also partly quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' edited by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA405#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 405]

* It gives me great pleasure, indeed, to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
** &quot;Address on Receiving Lord &amp; Taylor Award&quot; (4 May 1953) in ''Ideas and Opinions''

* To think with fear of the end of one's life is pretty general with human beings. It is one of the means nature uses to conserve the life of the species. Approached rationally that fear is the most unjustified of all fears, for there is no risk of any accidents to one who is dead or not yet born. In short, the fear is stupid but it cannot be helped.
** Letter to Eileen Danniheisser (1953), quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Creator and Rebel'' by Banesh Hoffman (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=sdDaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22think+with+fear%22#search_anchor p. 261]. The exact date, or the name of his correspondent, is not given in the snippet of the book available online, but the quote appears after the letter to the Queen of Belgium from 12 January 1953, and is prefaced by &quot;Nine months later, in words that recall the beliefs of an early atomic speculator, the Roman poet Lucretius, Einstein had written to an inquirer&quot;, followed by the quote. The name &quot;Eileen Danniheisser&quot; is given in ''Time: Volume 144'', where it is mentioned in the snippets [http://books.google.com/books?id=JDAnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22obsessive+thoughts%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=JDAnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22think+with+fear%22#search_anchor here] that she had written Einstein &quot;about her obsessive thoughts of death as a child&quot;.

* '''Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.'''
** ''Essay to Leo Baeck'' (1953), ''The New Quotable Einstein.''

* I’m a magnet for all the crackpots in the world, but they are of interest to me, too. A favourite pastime of mine is to reconstruct their thinking processes. I feel genuinely sorry for them, that’s why I try to help them.
** (October 15, 1953) as quoted by Johanna Fantova in ''[https://ysfine.com/einstein/fantova/fantova.html Conversations with Einstein]''

* The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. ... For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them.
** Gutkind Letter (3 January 1954), {{cite news | title=Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear | publisher=The Guardian | date=13 May 2008 | url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion }}

* If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.
** Letter to the editor of ''The Reporter'' about the situation of scientists in America (13 October 1954)

* The theory of relativity is a beautiful example of the basic character of the modern development of theory. That is to say, the hypotheses from which one starts become ever more abstract and more remote from experience. But in return one comes closer to the preeminent goal of science, that of encompassing a maximum of empirical contents through logical deduction with a minimum of hypotheses or axioms. The intellectual path from the axioms to the empirical contents or to the testable consequences becomes, thereby, ever longer and more subtle. '''The theoretician is forced, ever more, to allow himself to be directed by purely mathematical, formal points of view in the search for theories, because the physical experience of the experimenter is not capable of leading us up to the regions of the highest abstraction.''' Tentative deduction takes the place of the predominantly inductive methods appropriate to the youthful state of science. Such a theoretical structure must be quite thoroughly elaborated in order for it to lead to consequences that can be compared with experience. It is certainly the case that here, as well, the empirical fact is the all-powerful judge. But its judgment can be handed down only on the basis of great and difficult intellectual effort that first bridges the wide space between the axioms and the testable consequences. The theorist must accomplish this Herculean task with the clear understanding that this effort may only be destined to prepare the way for a death sentence for his theory. '''One should not reproach the theorist who undertakes such a task by calling him a fantast; instead, one must allow him his fantasizing, since for him there is no other way to his goal whatsoever. Indeed, it is no planless fantasizing, but rather a search for the logically simplest possibilities and their consequences.'''
** ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), pp. 238–239; quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ &quot;Einstein's Philosophy of Science&quot;]

* I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.
** Address to the Chicago Decalogue Society (20 February 1954)

* Combinatory play seems to be the essential feature in productive thought — before there is any connection with logical construction in words or other kinds of signs which can be communicated to others.
** ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), pp. 25–26

* '''Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'''
** Letter to Besso's family (March 1955) following the death of {{w|Michele Besso}}, as quoted in ''Disturbing the Universe'' (1979) by [[Freeman Dyson]] Ch. 17 &quot;A Distant Mirror&quot;, p. 193&lt;!-- DEAD LINK; and in [http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/einsteinsgod/unheardcuts.shtml ''Einstein's God'' (NPR)]--&gt;
** Sometimes misquoted as &quot;Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.&quot;
** Variant: &quot;He has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubborn illusion.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2008), [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA540#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 540].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That signifies nothing. For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.&quot; Quoted in ''Albert Einstein: The Miracle Mind'' by Tabatha Yeatts (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=XiyyVYvQBKQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT114#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 116].
** Variant: &quot;In quitting this strange world he has once again preceded me by a little. That doesn't mean anything. For those of us who believe in physics, this separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, however tenacious.&quot; Quoted in ''The Structure of Physics'' by Carl Friedrich von Weizsäcker (1985), [http://books.google.com/books?id=DeexONN0zDgC&amp;lpg=PR2&amp;pg=PA288#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 288].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has departed a little ahead of me from this quaint world. This means nothing. For us faithful physicists, the separation between past, present, and future has only the meaning of an illusion, though a persistent one.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein and Religion'' by Max Jammer (2002), [http://books.google.com/books?id=TnCc1f1C25IC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA161#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 161].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has preceded me by a little bit in his departure from this strange world as well. This means nothing. For those of us who believe in physics, the distinction between past, present, and future is only an illusion, however tenacious this illusion may be.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein: A Biography'' by Jürgen Neff (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=B8K6n177ZwcC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA402#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 402]

* During that year in Aarau the question came to me: If one runs after a light wave with [a velocity equal to the] light velocity, then one would encounter a time-independent wavefield. However, something like that does not seem to exist! This was the first juvenile thought experiment which has to do with the special theory of relativity. '''Invention is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.'''
** From his &quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot; (18 April 1955), original German version [http://philoscience.unibe.ch/documents/kursarchiv/WS99/Skizze.pdf here]. Translation from ''Subtle is the Lord: The Science and the Life of Albert Einstein'' by Abraham Pais (1982), [http://books.google.com/books?id=U2mO4nUunuwC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA131#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 131]. Pais notes that when he said &quot;during that year&quot;, he was referring to some time between October 1895 and early fall 1896.
** Variant: &quot;Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.&quot;
** Original German version: ''Während dieses Jahres in Aarau kam mir die Frage: Wenn man einer Lichtwelle mit Lichtgeschwindigkeit nachläuft, so würde man ein zeitunabhängiges Wellenfeld vor sich haben. So etwas scheint es aber doch nicht zu geben! Dies war das erste kindliche Gedanken-Experiment, das mit der speziellen Relativitätstheorie zu tun hat. Das Erfinden ist kein Werk des logischen Denkens, wenn auch das Endprodukt an die logische Gestalt gebunden ist.'' (&quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot;, p. 10)

* The work on satisfactory formulation of technical patents was a true blessing for me. It compelled me to be many-sided in thought, and also offered important stimulation for thought about physics. Following a practical profession is a blessing for people of my type. Because the academic career puts a young person in a sort of compulsory situation to produce scientific papers in impressive quantity, a temptation to superficiality arises that only strong characters are able to resist.
** From his &quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot; (18 April 1955), original German version [http://philoscience.unibe.ch/documents/kursarchiv/WS99/Skizze.pdf here]. Translation from ''Einstein from 'B' to 'Z''' by John J. Stachel (2001), [http://books.google.com/books?id=OAsQ_hFjhrAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5].
** Variant: &quot;Working on the final formulation of technological patents was a veritable blessing for me. It enforced many-sided thinking and also provided important stimuli to physical thought. [Academia] places a young person under a kind of compulsion to produce impressive quantities of scientific publications — a temptation to superficiality.&quot; As quoted in [http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0505/resources_who.html &quot;Who Knew?&quot;] at NationalGeographic.com (May 2005).
** Original German version: ''Formulierung technischer Patente ein wahrer Segen für mich. Sie zwang zu vielseitigem Denken, bot auch wichtige Anregungen für das physikalische Denken. Endlich ist ein praktischer Beruf für Menschen meiner Art überhaupt ein Segen. Denn die akademische Laufbahn versetzt einen jungen Menschen in eine Art Zwangslage, wissenschaftliche Schriften in impressiver Menge zu produzieren — eine Verführung zur Oberflächlichkeit, der nur starke Charaktere zu widerstehen vermögen.'' (&quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot;, p. 12)

* That is simple my friend: because politics is more difficult than physics.
** ''The New York Times'' (22 April, 1955) response to being asked why people could discover atomic power, but not the means to control it.

* The conflict that exists today is no more than an old-style struggle for power, once again presented to mankind in semireligious trappings. The difference is that, this time, the development of atomic power has imbued the struggle with a ghostly character; for both parties know and admit that, should the quarrel deteriorate into actual war, mankind is doomed. 
** (Apr 1955) unfinished address he was writing prior to death.

* '''The important thing is not to stop questioning.''' Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. '''Never lose a holy curiosity'''. ... Don't stop to marvel.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;dq=Life%2C%202%20May%201955&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q=Life,%202%20May%201955&amp;f=false ''Death of a Genius,&quot;''] ''LIFE'' magazine (2 May 1955) statement to William Miller,  p. 64.

[[File:Jacob_Epstein_-_Alfred_Einstein_(1933)_(V%26A).jpg|thumb|right|''Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.'']]
* Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.
** As quoted by ''LIFE'' magazine (2 May 1955)

* It appears dubious whether a field theory can account for the atomistic structure of matter and radiation as well as of quantum phenomena.
** (1955) as quoted in ''Some strangeness in the proportion: a centennial symposium to celebrate the achievements of Albert Einstein'' (1980) Addison-Wesley Pub. Co., Advanced Book Program.

* In matters concerning truth and justice there can be no distinction between big problems and small; for the general principles which determine the conduct of men are indivisible. Whoever is careless with truth in small matters cannot be trusted in important affairs.
** (1955) as quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Historical and Cultural Perspectives'' (1997)  ed. {{w|Gerald Holton}}, {{w|Yehuda Elkana}}, p. 388, from The Centennial Symposium in Jerusalem (1979)

==== ''On the Generalized Theory of Gravitation'' (1950) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Scientific American'' Vol. 182, No. 4. (April 1950)&lt;/small&gt;

* This is the reason why all attempts to obtain a deeper knowledge of the foundations of physics seem doomed to me unless the basic concepts are in accordance with general relativity from the beginning. This situation makes it difficult to use our empirical knowledge, however comprehensive, in looking for the fundamental concepts and relations of physics, and it forces us to apply free speculation to a much greater extent than is presently assumed by most physicists.

* I do not see any reason to assume that the heuristic significance of the principle of general relativity is restricted to gravitation and that the rest of physics can be dealt with separately on the basis of special relativity, with the hope that later on the whole may be fitted consistently into a general relativistic scheme. I do not think that such an attitude, although historically understandable, can be objectively justified. The comparative smallness of what we know today as gravitational effects is not a conclusive reason for ignoring the principle of general relativity in theoretical investigations of a fundamental character. In other words, I do not believe that it is justifiable to ask: What would physics look like without gravitation?

* There exists a passion for comprehension, just as there exists a passion for music. That passion is rather common in children, but it gets lost in most people later on. Without this passion, there would be neither mathematics nor natural science. Time and again the passion for understanding has led to the illusion that man is able to comprehend the objective world rationally, by pure thought, without any [[Empiricism|empirical]] foundations—in short, by [[metaphysics]]. I believe that every true theorist is a kind of tamed metaphysicist, no matter how pure a &quot;[[Positivism|positivist]]&quot; he may fancy himself. The metaphysicist believes that the logically simple is also the real. The tamed metaphysicist believes that not all that is logically simple is embodied in experienced reality, but that the totality of all sensory experience can be &quot;comprehended&quot; on the basis of a conceptual system built on premises of great simplicity. The skeptic will say that this is a &quot;miracle creed.&quot; Admittedly so, but it is a miracle creed which has been borne out to an amazing extent by the development of science.

==== ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950) ====
: &lt;small&gt;A collection of Einstein's essays which cover a period of 1934 to 1950.&lt;/small&gt;

* What is significant in one's own existence one is hardly aware, and it certainly should not bother the other fellow. What does a fish know about the water in which he swims all his life?
** &quot;Self-Portrait&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5]

* This freedom of communication is indispensable for the development and extension of scientific knowledge, a consideration of much practical import. In the first instance it must be guaranteed by law. '''But laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man may present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire population.''' Such an ideal of external liberty can never be fully attained but must be sought unremittingly if scientific thought, and philosophical and creative thinking in general, are to be advanced as far as possible.
** &quot;On Freedom&quot; (1940), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA13#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 13]

* I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
** &quot;Self-Portrait&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5]

* The very fact that the totality of our sense experience is such that by means of thinking (operations with concepts, and the creation and use of definite functional relations between them, and the coordination of sense experience to these concepts) it can be put in order, this fact is one which leaves us in awe, but which we shall never understand. One may say '''&quot;the eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.&quot;''' . . . In speaking here concerning &quot;comprehensibility,&quot; the expression is used in its most modest sense. It implies: the production of some sort of order among sense impressions, this order being produced by the creation of general concepts, relations between these concepts, and by relations between the concepts and sense experience, these relations being determined in any possible manner. It is in this sense that the world of our sense experience is comprehensible. '''The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle.'''
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 61]

* Intelligence makes clear to us the interrelation of [[means and ends]]. But mere thinking cannot give us a sense of the ultimate and fundamental ends. To make clear these fundamental ends and valuations, and to set them fast in the emotional life of the individual, seems to me precisely the most important function which religion has to perform in the social life of man.
** &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1939-1941), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA22#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 22]

* '''The highest principles for our aspirations and judgments are given to us in the Jewish-Christian religious tradition. It is a very high goal which, with our weak powers, we can reach only very inadequately, but which gives a sure foundation to our aspirations and valuations.'''
** &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1939-1941), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA23#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 23]

* '''For scientific endeavor is a natural whole the parts of which mutually support one another in a way which, to be sure, no one can anticipate.'''
** &quot;On Freedom&quot; (1940), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA12#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 12]

* And certainly '''we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve'''; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader. This characteristic is reflected in the qualities of its priests, the intellectuals. '''The intellect has a sharp eye for methods and tools, but is blind to ends and values.''' So it is no wonder that this fatal blindness is handed on from old to young and today involves a whole generation.
** &quot;The Goal of Human Existence&quot; (1943)

* One strength of the [[communist system]] of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion. Unless the concept of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it can hardly hope to succeed.
** &quot;Atomic War or Peace&quot; part II (1947)

[[File:Tokyo 1945-3-10-1.jpg|thumb|The objective of avoiding [[w:Global catastrophic risk|total destruction]] must have priority over any other objective.]]
* I advocate world government because I am convinced that there is no other possible way of eliminating the most terrible danger in which man has ever found himself. '''The objective of avoiding [[w:Global catastrophic risk|total destruction]] must have priority over any other objective.'''
** ''A reply to the Soviet scientists'', 1948

* Ethical axioms are founded and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. '''Truth is what stands the test of experience.'''
** &quot;The Laws of Science and the Laws of Ethics&quot; (1950)

==== ''Essay to Leo Baeck'' (1953) ====
[[File:Estatua_de_Einstein._Parque_de_Ciencias_Granada.jpg|thumb|Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;Statements by Einstein from ''Essays Presented to [[wikipedia:Leo Baeck|Leo Baeck]] on the Occasion of His Eightieth Birthday'' (1954), p. 26; Baeck's birthday was 23 May 1953; Einstein Archives 28-962. Some quotes are from ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005) edited by Alice Calaprice, pp. 120-121, others from ''Ideas and Opinions'' by Albert Einstein (1954), where they appear in the section &quot;Aphorisms for Leo Baeck.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]].'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* ''Um ein tadelloses Mitglied einer Schafherde sein zu können, muß man vor allem ein Schaf sein.''
** '''In order to be a perfect member of a flock of [[sheep]], one has to be, foremost, a sheep.'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''
** variant translation from ''Ideas and Opinions'': &quot;In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.&quot;

* '''Hail to the man who went through life always [[helping]] others, knowing no fear, and to whom aggressiveness and resentment are alien.''' Such is the stuff of which the great moral leaders are made.
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''
** variant translation from ''Ideas and Opinions'': &quot;I salute the man who is going through life always helpful, knowing no fear, and to whom aggressiveness and resentment are alien. Such is the stuff of which the great moral leaders are made who proffer consolation to mankind in their self-created miseries.&quot;

* The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while.
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* '''Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity [[opinions]] that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else—unless it is an enemy.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* ''Die Majorität der Dummen ist unüberwindbar und für alle Zeiten gesichert. Der Schrecken ihrer Tyrannei ist indessen gemildert durch Mangel an Konsequenz''.
** The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* The contrasts and contradictions that can permanently live peacefully side by side in a skull make all the systems of political optimists and pessimists illusory.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* [[Joy]] in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

==== ''[[w:Russell–Einstein Manifesto|Russell–Einstein Manifesto]]'' (1955) ====
: &lt;small&gt;[https://pugwash.org/1955/07/09/statement-manifesto/ Full text of the manifesto]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Nagasakibomb.jpg|thumb|right|Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?]]
* '''Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?'''

* '''We are speaking on this occasion, not as members of this or that nation, continent, or creed, but as human beings, members of the species Man, whose continued existence is in doubt.''' The world is full of conflicts; and, overshadowing all minor conflicts, the titanic struggle between Communism and anti-Communism...we want you, if you can, to set aside such feelings and '''consider yourselves only as members of a biological species which has had a remarkable history, and whose disappearance none of us can desire.'''

* It is feared that if many [[w:Thermonuclear weapons|H-bombs]] are used there will be [[w:Human extinction|universal death]], sudden only for a minority, but for the majority a slow torture of disease and disintegration.

=== Attributed in posthumous publications ===
: &lt;small&gt;Posthumous quotes can be particularly problematic, especially where earlier sources are not cited at all. &lt;/small&gt;

* When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
** A comment recalled by János Plesch in ''János, the Story of a Doctor'' (1947), p. 207. Also quoted in ''Einstein: the Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=6IKVA0lY6MAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA118#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 118].
** Variant: &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come close to the conclusion that the gift of imagination has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing absolute knowledge.&quot; From ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA26#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 26]. This book attributes it to ''Einstein and the Humanities'' (1979) by Dennis Ryan, p. 125, but Calaprice seems to have copied it wrong, since searching &quot;inside the book&quot; on this book's [http://www.amazon.com/Einstein-Humanities-Contributions-Dennis-Ryan/dp/0313253803 amazon page] using the word &quot;gift&quot; shows that p. 125 actually gives the same quote as in ''János, the Story of a Doctor''.

* God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
** Attributed to Einstein by his colleague Léopold Infeld in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'' (1949), [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA279#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 279]

* I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.
** Attributed to Einstein by his colleague Léopold Infeld in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'' (1949), [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;q=%22garbage+man%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22garbage%20man%22&amp;f=false p. 291]

* Yes, we now have to divide up our time like that, between politics and our equations. '''But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.'''
** Earliest source located is the book ''Brighter than a Thousand Suns: A Personal History of the Atomic Scientists'' by Robert Jungk (1958), p. 249, which says that Einstein made the comment during &quot;a walk with Ernst Straus, a young mathematician acting as his scientific assistant at Princeton.&quot;
** Variant: &quot;Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity.&quot; From ''A Briefer History of Time'' by Stephen Hawking (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=4Y0ZBW19n_YC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA144#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 144].
** Earlier, Straus recalled the German version of the quote in ''Helle Zeit, Dunkle Zeit: In Memoriam Albert Einstein'' (1956) edited by Carl Seelig&lt;!-- Zurich: Europa Verlag --&gt;, p. 71. There the quote was given as ''Ja, so muß man seine Zeit zwischen der Politik und unseren Gleichungen teilen. Aber unsere Gleichungen sind mir doch viel wichtiger; denn die Politik ist für die Gegenwart da, aber solch eine Gleichung is etwas für die Ewigkeit.''

* ''Was mich eigentlich interessiert, ist, ob Gott die Welt hätte anders machen können; das heisst, ob die Forderung der logischen Einfachheit überhaupt eine Freiheit lässt.''
** Quoted by [[wikipedia:Ernst G. Straus|Ernst G. Straus]], who was Einstein's assistant from 1944 to 1948, in Carl Seelig, ''Helle Zeit—Dunkel Zeit'' (Europa Verlag, Zurich, 1956), p. 72
** '''What I am really interested in is knowing whether God could have created the world in a different way'''; in other words, whether the requirement of logical simplicity admits a margin of freedom.
*** As translated in Max Jammer, ''Einstein and Religion'' (Princeton University Press, 1999), p. 124
** What I'm really interested in is whether God could have made the world in a different way; that is, whether the necessity of logical simplicity leaves any freedom at all.
*** As translated in Gerald Holton, [https://books.google.com/books?id=_RU7AAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PR12 ''The Scientific Imagination: Case Studies'' (Cambridge University Press, 1978), p. xii]

* How it happened that I in particular discovered the relativity theory, it seemed to lie in the following circumstance. The normal adult never bothers his head about space-time problems. Everything there is to be thought about it, in his opinion, has already been done in early childhood. I, on the contrary, developed so slowly that I only began to wonder about space and time when I was already grown up. In consequence I probed deeper into the problem than an ordinary child would have done.
** In Carl Seelig's ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), Seelig reports that Einstein said this to James Franck, [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22how+it+happened%22#search_anchor p. 71].
** I sometimes ask myself how did it come that I was the one to develop the theory of relativity. The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think about problems of space and time. But my intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up. Naturally, I could go deeper into the problem than a child with normal abilities.
*** Variant translation which appears in ''Einstein: The Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=6IKVA0lY6MAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA27#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 27]

* You see, when a blind beetle crawls over the surface of a globe he doesn't notice that the track he has covered is curved. I was lucky enough to have spotted it.
** Attributed to Einstein in Carl Seelig's ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22blind+beetle%22#search_anchor p. 80]. Said to have been a comment he made to his son Eduard when Eduard asked him, at age 9, &quot;Why are you actually so famous, papa?&quot;

* No, this trick won't work. The same trick does not work twice. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
** A comment to [[wikipedia:Thomas Hunt Morgan|T. H. Morgan]], as recalled by Henry Borsook. Einstein was visiting Cal Tech where Morgan and Borsook worked, and Morgan explained to Einstein that he was trying to bring physics and chemistry to bear on the problems of biology, to which Einstein gave this response. Borsook's recollection was published in ''Symposium on Structure of Enzymes and Proteins'' (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22so+important+a+biological%22#search_anchor p. 284], as part of a piece titled &quot;Informal remarks 'by way of a summary'&quot;. Context for this story is also given in ''The Molecular Vision of Life'' by Lily E. Kay (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=vEHeNI2a8OEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA95#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 95]

* As far as I'm concerned I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
** Attributed to Einstein in ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' by Carl Seeling (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22silent+vice%22#search_anchor p. 114]. Einstein is said to have made this remark &quot;when someone in his company grew angry about a mutual acquaintance's moral decline&quot;.

* The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
** Attributed by his friend Leo Mattersdorf, who also said that &quot;From the time Professor Einstein came to this country until his death, I prepared his income tax returns and advised him on his tax problems.&quot; In a letter to ''Time'' magazine, 22 February 1963. See [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/03/07/einstein-income-taxes/#more-2031 this post from The Quote Investigator] for more background.

* In the matter of physics, the first lessons should contain nothing but what is experimental and interesting to see. A pretty experiment is in itself often more valuable than twenty formulae extracted from our minds.
** ''Conversations with Einstein'' by Alexander Moszkowski (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=_D3wAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22first+lessons+should+contain+nothing+but+what%22#search_anchor p. 69]. This is just Moszkowski's English translation of a statement he attributed to Einstein in his 1922 book ''Einstein, Einblicke in seine Gedankenwelt'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=6zHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA77#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 77]: &quot;Was die Physik betrifft, fuhr Einstein fort, so darf für den ersten Unterricht gar nichts in Frage kommen, als das Experimentelle, anschaulich-Interessante. Ein hübsches Experiment ist schon an sich oft wertvoller, als zwanzig in der Gedankenretorte entwickelte Formeln.&quot; As Moszkowski makes clear in the original German text, this &quot;quotation&quot; is a paraphrasing of his conversation with Einstein.

* The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in our health, or we suffer in our soul, or we get fat.
** Attributed in ''Einstein: The Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), p. 737. The only source given in the end notes is &quot;personal information&quot;. Einstein is said to have made this comment when a box of candy was being passed around after dinner, and he said that his doctor wouldn't let him eat it. The book also says that 'A friend asked him why it was the devil and not God who had imposed the penalty. &quot;What's the difference?&quot; he answered. &quot;One has a plus in front, the other a minus.&quot;'.

* '''I love to travel, but I hate to arrive.'''
** A comment of Einstein's recalled by [[John Archibald Wheeler|John Wheeler]] in ''Albert Einstein: His influence on physics, philosophy and politics'' edited by Peter C. Aichelburg, Roman Ulrich Sexl, and Peter Gabriel Bergmann (1979), p. 202

* '''When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.'''
** An explanation of relativity which he gave to his secretary Helen Dukas to convey to non-scientists and reporters, as quoted in ''Best Quotes of '54, '55, '56'' (1957) by James B. Simpson; also in ''Expandable Quotable Einstein'' (2005) edited by Alice Calaprice
** William Hermanns recorded a series of four conversations he had with Einstein and published them in his book ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983), quoting Einstein saying this variant in a 1948 conversation: '''&quot;To simplify the concept of relativity, I always use the following example: if you sit with a girl on a garden bench and the moon is shining, then for you the hour will be a minute. However, if you sit on a hot stove, the minute will be an hour.&quot;''' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 87])
** In the 1985 book ''Einstein in America'', Jamie Sayen wrote &quot;Einstein devised the following explanation for her [Helen Dukas] to give when asked to explain relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.&quot; ([http://books.google.com/books?ei=yma3TsDWK8WciQL63smAAQ&amp;ct=book-thumbnail&amp;id=vs3aAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=sayen+%22einstein+in+america%22&amp;q=pretty+girl#search_anchor p. 130])

* On quantum theory I use up more brain grease (rough translation of German idiom) than on relativity.
** Quoted by [[Otto Stern]], a colleague of Einstein in Zurich from 1912 to 1914, in a 1962 [http://www.aip.org/history/ohilist/4904.html oral history interview] with [[Thomas Samuel Kuhn|Thomas S. Kuhn]]

* In view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognise, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views.
** Statement to German anti-Nazi diplomat and author Prince Hubertus zu Lowenstein around 1941, as quoted in his book ''Towards the Further Shore : An Autobiography'' (1968) &lt;!-- p. 156 --&gt;

* Much later, when I was discussing cosmological problems with Einstein, '''he remarked that the introduction of the cosmological term was the biggest blunder he ever made in his life.'''
** [[George Gamow]], in his autobiography ''My World Line: An Informal Autobiography'' (1970), p. 44. Here the &quot;cosmological term&quot; refers to the [[wikipedia:Cosmological constant|cosmological constant]] in the equations of general relativity, whose value Einstein initially picked to ensure that his model of the universe would neither expand nor contract; if he hadn't done this he might have theoretically predicted the universal expansion that was first observed by [[Edwin Hubble]].

* We often discussed his notions on objective reality. I recall that during one walk Einstein suddenly stopped, turned to me and asked whether I really believed that the moon exists only when I look at it.
** As recalled by his biographer Abraham Pais in ''Reviews of Modern Physics'', 51, 863 (1979): 907. Cited in ''Boojums All The Way Through'' by N. David Mermin (1990), [http://books.google.com/books?id=bf5bjBk095UC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA81#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 81]

* '''Then I would have felt sorry for the dear Lord. The theory is correct.'''
** When asked by a student what he would have done if Sir [[wikipedia:Arthur Eddington|Arthur Eddington]]'s famous 1919 gravitational lensing experiment, which confirmed relativity, had instead disproved it.
** As quoted in ''Reality and Scientific Truth : Discussions with Einstein, von Laue, and Planck'' (1980) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, p. 74 &lt;!-- Detroit: Wayne State University --&gt;
** Variant: &quot;I would have felt sorry for the dear Lord! The theory is, of course, all right.&quot; Quoted in ''The Physicist's Conception of Nature'' by Jagdish Mehra (1979), [http://books.google.com/books?id=lSoRzxFye-4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA131#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 131]. This source attributes it to a conversation with Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, author of the book the previous version is from.

* '''Dimensionless constants in the laws of nature, which from the purely logical point of view can just as well have different values, should not exist.'''
** German orgiginal: ''Dimensionslose Konstanten in den Naturgesetzen, die vom rein logischen Standpunkt aus ebensogut andere Werte haben können, dürfte es nicht geben.''
** As quoted in ''Begegnungen mit Einstein, von Laue, und Planck'' (1988) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, p. 31&lt;!-- Vieweg Verlag Braunschweig --&gt;, English edition ''Reality and Scientific Truth : Discussions with Einstein, von Laue, and Planck'' (1980) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider &lt;!-- Detroit: Wayne State University --&gt;

* If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.
** As quoted by Ernst Straus in ''Einstein: A Centenary Volume'' by A.P. French (1980), p. 32.
** Variant: &quot;if you want to be a happy man, you should tie your life to a goal, not to other people and not to things.&quot; A quote from Ernst Straus' memoir of Einstein in ''Albert Einstein: Historical and Cultural Perspectives'' edited by Gerald Holton and Yehuda Elkana (1982), [http://books.google.com/books?id=CNuwE3NL1QgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA420#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 420]

*It's a very strange book ([[''The Secret Doctrine'']])  and I've even told [[Werner Heisenberg|professor Heisenberg]], my fellow physicist, to get a copy and keep it on his desk. I urged him to dip into it when he's handicapped by some problem. The strangeness of this book may relax or possibly inspire him.    
**[http://www.blavatskyarchives.com/brown/jackbrownoneinstein.htm ''I Visit Professor Einstein''  by Jack Brown] published in [[w:Ojai Valley News|''Ojai Valley News'']],(28 September 1983)

* If I can't picture it, I can't understand it.
** Attributed to Einstein by physicist [[John Archibald Wheeler]] in John Horgan's article &quot;Profile: Physicist John A. Wheeler, Questioning the 'It from Bit'&quot;. ''Scientific American'', pp. 36-37, June 1991. Reprinted [http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=pioneering-physicist-john-wheeler-dies here] after Wheeler's death.

* I said before, the most beautiful and most profound religious emotion that we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. And this mysticality is the power of all true science. If there is any such concept as a God, it is a subtle spirit, not an image of a man that so many have fixed in their minds. In essence, my religion consists of a humble admiration for this illimitable superior spirit that reveals itself in the slight details that we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds.
** As quoted in ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky and Allen G. Weakland, p. 86

* The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist. I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.
** Statement recorded in the diary of his companion Johanna Fantova, quoted at the end of the ''New York Times'' story [http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/24/nyregion/from-companion-s-lost-diary-a-portrait-of-einstein-in-old-age.html?pagewanted=all&amp;src=pm &quot;From Companion's Lost Diary, A Portrait of Einstein in Old Age&quot;] by Dennis Overbye (24 April 2004)

* Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilisation in high boots.
** Albert Einstein in a letter to his cousin and second wife Elsa, during a visit to the University of Oxford, in collection donated to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in Israel by Einstein's stepdaughter Margot, as quoted in [http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn9555&amp;feedId=online-news_rss20 &quot;Einstein in no-sock shock&quot;], ''New Scientist'' (15 July 2006) &lt;!-- date of letter needed here --&gt;

==== ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' (1979) ====
: &lt;small&gt;[[wikipedia:Helen Dukas|Helen Dukas]] and [[wikipedia:Banesh Hoffmann|Banesh Hoffmann]], ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: New Glimpses From His Archives'' (1979)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Eugène_Delacroix_-_La_liberté_guidant_le_peuple.jpg|thumb|[[Politics]] is a pendulum whose swings between [[anarchy]] and [[tyranny]] are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.]]
[[File:Theosophical_Society_Seal.jpg|thumb| The [[mystical]] trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion.]]

* In the past it never occurred to me that every casual remark of mine would be snatched up and recorded. Otherwise I would have crept further into my shell.
** Letter to Carl Seelig (25 October 1953), p. 22

* Never before have I lived through a storm like the one this night. ... The sea has a look of indescribable grandeur, especially when the sun falls on it. One feels as if one is dissolved and merged into Nature. Even more than usual, one feels the insignificance of the individual, and it makes one happy.
** Entry in a travel diary (10 December 1931) discussing a storm at sea, p. 23

* Measured objectively, what a man can wrest from Truth by passionate striving is utterly infinitesimal. But the striving frees us from the bonds of the self and makes us comrades of those who are the best and the greatest.
** A note Einstein wrote underneath an etching of himself (made by Hermann Struck) which he sent to a friend, Dr. Hans Mühsam. According to the book, &quot;the date is 1920 or perhaps earlier&quot;, p. 24

* There has been an earth for a little more than a billion years. As for the question of the end of it I advise: '''Wait and see!'''
** 19 June 51, p. 34

* '''Where the [[world]] ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings admiring, asking, observing, there we enter the realm of [[Art]] and [[Science]].''' If what is seen and experienced is portrayed in the language of logic, we are engaged in science. If it is communicated through forms whose connections are not accessible to the conscious mind but are recognized intuitively as meaningful, then we are engaged in art. Common to both is love and devotion to that which transcends personal concerns and volition.
** p. 37 - 27 January 1921

* '''Body and [[soul]] are not two different things, but only two different ways of perceiving the same thing.''' Similarly, physics and psychology are only different attempts to link our experiences together by way of systematic thought.
** Aphorism (1937), p. 38

* I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.
** Reply to a letter sent to him on 17 July 1953&lt;!-- ; it is not known if the reply was sent --&gt; p. 39

* I have never imputed to Nature a purpose or a goal, or anything that could be understood as anthropomorphic. What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of &quot;humility.&quot; This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism.
** Draft of a German reply to a letter sent to him in 1954 or 1955&lt;!-- (also not known if this reply was sent) --&gt;, p. 39

* The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.
** Statement (5 February 1921), p. 40

* '''It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.'''
** Letter to an atheist (24 March 1954), p. 43

* Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
** From the same 24 March 1954 letter as above, p. 44

* '''Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.'''
** Letter (30 July 1947), p. 46

* Something there is that can refresh and revivify older people: joy in the activities of the younger generation—a joy, to be sure, that is clouded by dark forebodings in these unsettled times. And yet, as always, the springtime sun brings forth new life, and we may rejoice because of this new life and contribute to its unfolding; and Mozart remains as beautiful and tender as he always was and always will be. There is, after all, something eternal that lies beyond reach of the hand of fate and of all human delusions. And such eternals lie closer to an older person than to a younger one oscillating between fear and hope. For us, there remains the privilege of experiencing beauty and truth in their purest forms.
** Letter to Queen Mother Elizabeth of Belgium (20 March, likely 1936), written to her when she was depressed over the recent death of her husband and daughter-in-law, p. 51

[[File:2006-12-03_Ring_of_love_Edit.jpg|thumb|Falling in [[love]] is not at all the most [[stupid]] thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.]]
* '''Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.'''
** Jotted (in German) on the margins of a letter to him (1933), p. 56
** Unsourced variants: Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. / You can't [[blame]] gravity for falling in love.

* Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
** Letter to California student E. Holzapfel (March 1951) Einstein Archive 59-1013, p. 57

* In my opinion, condemning the Zionist movement as &quot;nationalistic&quot; is unjustified. Consider the path by which [[wikipedia:Theodor Herzl|Herzl]] came to his mission. Initially he had been completely cosmopolitan. But during the [[wikipedia:Dreyfus affair|Dreyfus trial]] in Paris he suddenly realized with great clarity how precarious was the situation of the Jews in the western world. And courageously he drew the conclusion that we are discriminated against or murdered not because we are Germans, Frenchmen, Americans, etc. of the &quot;Jewish faith&quot; but simply because we are Jews. Thus already our precarious situation forces us to stand together irrespective of our citizenship.&lt;br /&gt;Zionism gave the German Jews no great protection against annihilation. But it did give the survivors the inner strength to endure the debacle with dignity and without losing their healthy self respect. Keep in mind that perhaps a similar fate could be lying in wait for your children.
** c. 1946, p. 63-64

* '''Anonymity is no excuse for stupidity.'''
** c. 1948, p. 54

* '''My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance — but for us, not for God.'''
** p. 66 of the 1981 edition

* '''It seems hard to sneak a look at God's cards. But that He plays dice and uses &quot;telepathic&quot; methods... is something that I cannot believe for a single moment.'''
** Letter to Cornel Lanczos (21 March 1942), p. 68
[[File:Buddha_statue,_Nha_Trang.jpg|thumb|What these [[blessed]] men have given us we must guard and try to keep [[alive]] with [[all]] our [[strength]] if [[humanity]] is not to lose its [[dignity]], the [[security]] of its existence, and its [[joy]] in [[living]].]]
[[File:Vittore_Carpaccio_075.jpg|thumb|[[Human]] [[knowledge]] and skills alone cannot lead [[humanity]] to a [[happy]] and [[dignified]] [[life]]. Humanity has every [[reason]] to place the proclaimers of high [[moral]] standards and [[values]] above the discoverers of objective [[truth]].]]
* '''Our time is distinguished by wonderful achievements in the fields of scientific understanding and the technical application of those insights. Who would not be cheered by this? But let us not forget that human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth.''' What humanity owes to personalities like [[wikipedia:Gautama Buddha|Buddha]], [[Moses]], and [[Jesus]] ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the enquiring and constructive mind. &lt;br /&gt; '''What these blessed men have given us we must guard and try to keep alive with all our strength if humanity is not to lose its dignity, the security of its existence, and its joy in living.'''
** Written statement (September 1937), p. 70

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|When the [[expected]] course of everyday [[life]] is interrupted, we are like shipwrecked people on a miserable plank in the open [[sea]], having forgotten where they came from and not knowing whither they are drifting...]]
* '''For the most part we humans live with the false impression of security and a feeling of being at home in a seemingly trustworthy physical and human environment.''' But when the expected course of everyday life is interrupted, we are like shipwrecked people on a miserable plank in the open sea, having forgotten where they came from and not knowing whither they are drifting. But once we fully accept this, life becomes easier and there is no longer any disappointment.
** Letter (26 April 1945), p. 72

* '''Study and in general the pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.'''
** Letter to Adrianna Enriques (October 1921), p. 83

* '''The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.''' To make this a living force and bring it to clear consciousness is perhaps the foremost task of education. The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound judgment and action.
** Letter to the minister of a church in Brooklyn (20 November 1950), p. 95. The minister had earlier written Einstein asking if he would send him a signed version of a quote about the Catholic church attributed to Einstein in ''Time'' magazine (see the [[#Misattributed]] section below), and Einstein had written back to say the quote was not correct, but that he was &quot;gladly willing to write something else which would suit your purpose&quot;. According to the book, the minister replied &quot;saying he was glad the statement had not been correct since he too had reservations about the historical role of the Church at large&quot;, and said that &quot;he would leave the decision to Einstein as to the topic of the statement&quot;, to which Einstein replied with the statement above.

* If the believers of the present-day religions would earnestly try to think and act in the spirit of the founders of these religions then no hostility on the basis of religion would exist among the followers of the different faiths. '''Even the conflicts and the realm of religion would be exposed as insignificant.'''
** Statement to Christian conference (27 January 1947), p. 96

* Philosophy is like a mother who gave birth to and endowed all the other sciences. Therefore, one should not scorn her in her nakedness and poverty, but should hope, rather, that part of her [[wikipedia:Don Quixote|Don Quixote]] ideal will live on in her children so that they do not sink into philistinism.
** (28 September 1932), p. 106

* I am the one to whom you wrote in care of the Belgian Academy... Read no newspapers, try to find a few friends who think as you do, read the wonderful writers of earlier times, Kant, Goethe, Lessing, and the classics of other lands, and enjoy the natural beauties of Munich's surroundings. Make believe all the time that you are living, so to speak, on Mars among alien creatures and blot out any deeper interest in the actions of those creatures. Make friends with a few animals. Then you will become a cheerful man once more and nothing will be able to trouble you. &lt;br /&gt; Bear in mind that those who are finer and nobler are always alone — and necessarily so — and that because of this they can enjoy the purity of their own atmosphere. &lt;br /&gt; I shake your hand in heartfelt comradeship, E.
** Response to a letter from an unemployed professional musician (5 April 1933), p. 115
** The editors precede this passage thus, &quot;Early in 1933, Einstein received a letter from a professional musician who presumably lived in Munich. The musician was evidently troubled and despondent, and out of a job, yet at the same time, he must have been something of a kindred spirit. His letter is lost, all that survives being Einstein's reply....Note the careful anonymity of the first sentence — the recipient would be safer that way:&quot; ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' concludes with this passage, followed by the original passages in German.

==== ''Albert Einstein: A guide for the perplexed'' (1979) ====
: &lt;small&gt;Kenneth Brecher, &quot;Albert Einstein: 14 March, 1879 – 18 April, 1955 A guide for the perplexed&quot;, ''Nature'' 278 (15 March 1979), pp. 215–218, [[doi:10.1038/278215a0]]. The article is described as &quot;A brief collection of direct and indirect quotations by or about Albert Einstein.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;
* The most important tool of the theoretical physicist is his wastebasket.
** Told by P. Morrison

* Physics is essentially an intuitive and concrete science. Mathematics is only a means for expressing the laws that govern phenomena.
** From ''Lettre à Maurice Solvine'', by A. Einstein (Gauthier-Villars: Paris 1956)

* Who would have thought around 1900 that in fifty years time we would know so much more and understand so much less.
** From ''Albert Einstein and the Cosmic World Order'', by C. Lanczos (Wiley, New York, 1956)

==== ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983) ====
[[File:Observable universe logarithmic illustration.png|thumb|It is [[intuition]] that improves the [[world]], not just following a trodden path of [[thought]]. Intuition makes us look at unrelated [[facts]] and then think about them until they can all be brought under one [[law]]. To look for related facts means holding onto what one has instead of searching for new facts.]]
[[File:Empyrean_Light_and_Shadows_of_Salvation.jpg|thumb| Let us [[accept]] the [[world]] is a [[mystery]]. [[Nature]] is neither solely [[material]] nor entirely [[spiritual]]. [[Man]], too, is more than flesh and [[blood]]; otherwise, no [[religions]] would have been possible. Behind each [[cause]] is still another cause; the [[end]] or the [[beginning]] of [[all]] causes has yet to be found.]]
[[File:JUL Xaos Pattern.png|thumb|The genuine [[scientist]] is not moved by [[praise]] or [[blame]], nor does he [[preach]]. He unveils the [[universe]] and [[people]] come eagerly, without being pushed, to behold a new [[revelation]]: the [[order]], the [[harmony]], the [[magnificence]] of [[creation]]! And as man becomes [[conscious]] of the stupendous [[laws]] that [[govern]] the universe in [[perfect]] harmony, he begins to realize how small he is. He sees the pettiness of [[human]] [[existence]], with its [[ambitions]] and intrigues, its &quot;[[Arrogance|I am better than thou]]&quot; [[creed]]. This is the [[beginning]] of [[cosmic]] [[religion]] within him; [[fellowship]] and human [[service]] become his [[moral]] code. And without such [[Ethics|moral foundations]], we are hopelessly [[doomed]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;William Hermanns, ''Einstein and the Poet: In Search of the Cosmic Man'' (1983). From a series of meetings Hermanns had with Einstein in 1930, 1943, 1948, and 1954, during which he took notes on what Einstein said (though it's unclear if he recorded the exact phrasing or filled in words from memory). Another person present at the 1954 conversation offered his own slightly different transcription of Einstein's comments, which was published in the article [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA62#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Death of a Genius&quot;] from the 2 May, 1955 issue of ''Life Magazine''. &quot;Einstein and the Poet&quot; is viewable on Google Books [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC here].&lt;/small&gt;

First conversation (1930):

* School failed me, and I failed the school. It bored me. The teachers behaved like ''Feldwebel'' (sergeants). I wanted to learn what I wanted to know, but they wanted me to learn for the exam. What I hated most was the competitive system there, and especially sports. Because of this, I wasn't worth anything, and several times they suggested I leave. This was a Catholic School in Munich. I felt that my thirst for knowledge was being strangled by my teachers; grades were their only measurement. How can a teacher understand youth with such a system? . . . from the age of twelve I began to suspect authority and distrust teachers. I learned mostly at home, first from my uncle and then from a student who came to eat with us once a week. He would give me books on physics and astronomy. The more I read, the more puzzled I was by the order of the universe and the disorder of the human mind, by the scientists who didn't agree on the how, the when, or the why of creation. Then one day this student brought me Kant's ''Critique of Pure Reason''. Reading Kant, I began to suspect everything I was taught. I no longer believed in the known God of the Bible, but rather in the mysterious God expressed in nature.
** p. 8

* The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because our senses are limited, we can't grasp them. There is a pattern in creation.
** p. 10

* But we have higher mathematics, haven't we? This gives me freedom from my senses. The language of mathematics is even more inborn and universal than the language of music; a mathematical formula is crystal clear and independent of all sense organs. I therefore built a mathematical laboratory, set myself in it as if I were sitting in a car, and moved along with a beam of light.
** p. 11

* Since others have explained my theory, I can no longer understand it myself.
** p. 13

* Science is never finished because the human mind only uses a small portion of its capacity, and man's exploration of his world is also limited. If we look at this tree outside whose roots search beneath the pavement for water, or a flower which sends its sweet smell to the pollinating bees, or even our own selves and the inner forces that drive us to act, we can see that we all dance to a mysterious tune, and the piper who plays this melody from an inscrutable distance—whatever name we give him—Creative Force, or God—escapes all book knowledge.
** p. 14

* Many people think that the progress of the human race is based on experiences of an empirical, critical nature, but I say that true knowledge is to be had only through a philosophy of deduction. For it is intuition that improves the world, not just following a trodden path of thought. Intuition makes us look at unrelated facts and then think about them until they can all be brought under one law. To look for related facts means holding onto what one has instead of searching for new facts. Intuition is the father of new knowledge, while [[empiricism]] is nothing but an accumulation of old knowledge. Intuition, not intellect, is the 'open sesame' of yourself.
** p. 16

* What do you think of [[Spinoza]]? For me he is the ideal example of the cosmic man. He worked as an obscure diamond cutter, disdaining fame and a place at the table of the great. He tells us the importance of understanding our emotions and suggests what causes them. Man will never be free until he is able to direct his emotions to think clearly. Only then can he control his environment and preserve his energy for creative work.
** p. 26

* What a betrayal of man's dignity. '''He uses the highest gift, his mind, only ten percent, and his emotions and instincts ninety percent.'''
** p. 31; spoken on hearing German marchers singing war songs. On p. 474 of Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', she lists &quot;we only use 10 percent of our brain&quot; as a quote &quot;misattributed to Einstein&quot;, perhaps this is the source of the misquote? Einstein seems to be speaking metaphorically here, not endorsing the [http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/10percent.asp myth] that science has shown 90 percent of the neurons in our brain lie dormant. And the myth dates back to before this interview, for example the book ''Mind Myths: Exploring Popular Assumptions About the Mind and Brain'', edited by Sergio Della Salla, has a chapter by Barry L. Beyerstein titled &quot;Whence Cometh the Myth that We Only Use 10% of our Brains?&quot; which shows on p. 11 an advertisement from the 1929 ''World Almanac'' containing the line &quot;There is NO LIMIT to what the human brain can accomplish. Scientists and psychologists tell us we use only about TEN PER CENT of our brain power.&quot;

Second conversation (1943):

* Matter is real to my senses, but they aren't trustworthy. If [[Galileo]] or [[Copernicus]] had accepted what they saw, they would never have discovered the movement of the earth and planets.
** p. 59

* Electromagnetic fields are not of the mind... Creation may be spiritual in origin, but that doesn't mean that everything created is spiritual. How can I explain such things to you? '''Let us [[accept]] the [[world]] is a [[mystery]]. [[Nature]] is neither solely [[material]] nor entirely [[spiritual]]. [[Man]], too, is more than flesh and [[blood]]; otherwise, no [[religions]] would have been possible. Behind each [[cause]] is still another cause; the [[end]] or the [[beginning]] of [[all]] causes has yet to be found. Behind each cause is still another cause; the end or the beginning of all causes has yet to be found. Yet, only one thing must be remembered: there is no effect without a cause, and there is no lawlessness in creation&quot;.'''
** p. 59

* '''If I hadn't an absolute faith in the harmony of creation, I wouldn't have tried for thirty years to express it in a mathematical formula.''' It is only man's consciousness of what he does with his mind that elevates him above the animals, and enables him to become aware of himself and his relationship to the universe.
** p. 61

* '''I believe that I have cosmic religious feelings. I never could grasp how one could satisfy these feelings by praying to limited objects.''' The tree outside is life, a statue is dead. The whole of nature is life, and life, as I observe it, rejects a God resembling man. I like to experience the universe as one harmonious whole. Every cell has life. Matter, too, has life; it is energy solidified. Our bodies are like prisons, and I look forward to be free, but I don't speculate on what will happen to me. I live here now, and my responsibility is in this world now. . . . I deal with natural laws. This is my work here on earth.
** p. 64

* '''The world needs new moral impulses which, I'm afraid, won't come from the churches, heavily compromised as they have been throughout the centuries.''' Perhaps those impulses must come from scientists in the tradition of [[Galileo]], [[Kepler]] and [[Newton]]. In spite of failures and persecutions, these men devoted their lives to proving that the universe is a single entity, in which, I believe, a humanized God has no place. The genuine [[scientist]] is not moved by [[praise]] or [[blame]], nor does he [[preach]]. He unveils the [[universe]] and [[people]] come eagerly, without being pushed, to behold a new [[revelation]]: the [[order]], the [[harmony]], the [[magnificence]] of [[creation]]! And as man becomes [[conscious]] of the stupendous [[laws]] that [[govern]] the universe in [[perfect]] harmony, he begins to realize how small he is. He sees the pettiness of [[human]] [[existence]], with its [[ambitions]] and intrigues, its &quot;[[Arrogance|I am better than thou]]&quot; [[creed]]. '''This is the [[beginning]] of [[cosmic]] [[religion]] within him; [[fellowship]] and human [[service]] become his [[moral]] code. And without such [[Ethics|moral foundations]], we are hopelessly [[doomed]].'''
** p. 66

Third conversation (1948):

* '''The God Spinoza revered is my God, too: I meet Him everyday in the harmonious laws which govern the universe.''' My religion is cosmic, and my God is too universal to concern himself with the intentions of every human being. '''I do not accept a religion of fear; My God will not hold me responsible for the actions that necessity imposes.''' My God speaks to me through laws.
** p. 89

* '''I believe in one thing—that only a life lived for others is a life worth living.'''
** p. 91

* If we want to improve the world we cannot do it with scientific knowledge but with ideals. [[Confucius]], [[Buddha]], [[Jesus]] and [[Gandhi]] have done more for [[humanity]] than science has done. We must begin with the [[heart]] of man—with his [[conscience]]—and the values of conscience can only be manifested by selfless service to mankind. In this respect, I feel that the Churches have much guilt. She has always allied herself with those who rule, who have political power, and more often than not, at the expense of peace and humanity as a whole.
** p. 92

* [[Religion]] and [[science]] go together. As I've said before, science without religion is lame and religion without science is blind. They are interdependent and have a common goal—the search for truth. Hence it is absurd for religion to proscribe Galileo or Darwin or other scientists. And it is equally absurd when scientists say that there is no God. The real scientist has faith, which does not mean that he must subscribe to a creed. Without religion there is no charity. The soul given to each of us is moved by the same living spirit that moves the universe.
** p. 94

* I believe that we don't need to worry about what happens after this life, as long as we do our duty here—to love and to serve.
** p. 94

* I have faith in the universe, for it is rational. Law underlies each happening. And I have faith in my purpose here on earth. I have faith in my intuition, the language of my conscience, but I have no faith in speculation about Heaven and Hell. I'm concerned with this time—here and now.
** p. 94

* Philosophy is empty if it isn't based on science. Science discovers, philosophy interprets.
** p. 98

* And the traditional religions worry me. Their long history proves that they have not understood the meaning of the commandment: Thou shalt not kill. If we want to save this world from unimaginable destruction we should concentrate not on the faraway God, but on the heart of the individual. We live now in an international anarchy in which a Third World War with nuclear weapons lies before our door. We must make the individual man aware of his conscience so that he understands what it means that only a few will survive the next war.
** p. 98

* Indeed, it is not intellect, but intuition which advances humanity. Intuition tells man his purpose in this life.
** p. 103

* I do not need any promise of eternity to be happy. My eternity is now. I have only one interest: to fulfill my purpose here where I am. This purpose is not given me by my parents or my surroundings. It is induced by some unknown factors. These factors make me a part of eternity.
** p. 103

* I cannot conceive of anything after my physical death—perhaps it will end it all. The knowledge that I am now on this earth and a mysterious part of eternity is enough for me. My death will be an easy one, too, for since early youth I have always detached myself from family, friends, and surroundings. And should I live on, I have no fear of the next life. Whatever good I did helped to free me from myself. What a miserable creature man would be if he were good not for the sake of being good, but because religion told him that he would get a reward after this life, and that if he weren't good he'd be punished.
** p. 104

* My God may not be your idea of God, but one thing I know of my God — he makes me a humanitarian. I am a proud Jew because we gave the world the Bible and the story of Joseph.
** p. 106

* America is a democracy and has no Hitler, but I am afraid for her future; there are hard times ahead for the American people, troubles will be coming from within and without. America cannot smile away their Negro problem nor Hiroshima and Nagasaki. There are cosmic laws.
** p. 108

* ''[in response to a question about what was meant by his &quot;cosmic religion&quot;]'' It is not a religion that teaches that man is made in the image of God—that is anthropomorphic. Man has infinite dimensions and finds God in his conscience. This religion has no dogma other than teaching man that the universe is rational and that his highest destiny is to ponder it and co-create with its laws. There are only two limiting factors: first, that what seems impenetrable to us is as important as what is cut and dried; and, second, that our faculties are dull and can only comprehend wisdom and serene beauty in crude forms, but the heart of man through intuition leads us to greater understanding of ourselves and the universe. My religion is based on Moses: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. And for me God is the First Cause. David and the prophets knew that there could be no love without justice or justice without love. I don't need any other religious trappings.
** p. 108

* I believe the main task of the spirit is to free man from his ego.
** p. 109

* But then, after all, we are all alike, for we are all derived from the monkey.
** p. 110

* If I had foreseen [[wikipedia:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|Hiroshima and Nagasaki]], I would have torn up my formula in 1905.
** p. 112

Fourth conversation (1954):

* Wait a minute! I am not a mystic. Trying to find out the laws of nature has nothing to do with mysticism, though in the face of creation I feel very humble. It is as if a spirit is manifest infinitely superior to man's spirit. Through my pursuit in science I have known cosmic religious feelings. But I don't care to be called a mystic.
** p. 117

* About God, I cannot accept any concept based on the authority of the Church. As long as I can remember, I have resented mass indoctrination. I do not believe in the fear of life, in the fear of death, in blind faith. I cannot prove to you that there is no personal God, but if I were to speak of him, I would be a liar. '''I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws.'''
** p. 132
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;I cannot accept any concept of God based on the fear of life or the fear of death, or blind faith. I cannot prove to you that there is no personal God, but if I were to speak of him I would be a liar.&quot;

* You must warn people not to make the intellect their God. The intellect knows methods but it seldom knows values, and they come from feeling. If one doesn't play a part in the creative whole, he is not worth being called human. He has betrayed his true purpose.
** p. 135

* Certainly there are things worth believing. I believe in the brotherhood of man and in personal originality. But if you asked me to prove what I believe, I couldn't. You can spend your whole life trying to prove what you believe; you may hunt for reasons, but it will all be in vain. Yet our beliefs are like our existence; they are facts. If you don't yet know what to believe in, then try to learn what you feel and desire.
** p. 136
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Certainly there are things worth believing. I believe in the brotherhood of man and the uniqueness of the individual. But if you ask me to prove what I believe, I can't. You know them to be true but you could spend a whole lifetime without being able to prove them. The mind can proceed only so far upon what it knows and can prove. There comes a point where the mind takes a leap—call it intuition or what you will—and comes out upon a higher plane of knowledge, but can never prove how it got there. All great discoveries have involved such a leap.&quot;
** Unsourced variant: &quot;The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you do not know how or why. All great discoveries are made in this way.&quot; The earliest published version of this variant appears to be ''The Human Side of Scientists'' by Ralph Edward Oesper (1975), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-J0cAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22solution+comes+to+you+and+you+do+not+know%22&amp;dq=%22solution+comes+to+you+and+you+do+not+know%22&amp;hl=en p. 58], but no source is provided, and the similarity to the &quot;Life Magazine&quot; quote above suggests it's likely a misquote.

* It's not as simple as that. Knowledge is necessary, too. An intuitive child couldn't accomplish anything without some knowledge. There will come a point in everyone's life, however, where only intuition can make the leap ahead, without ever knowing precisely how. One can never know why, but one must accept intuition as a fact.
** p. 137
** In response to statement &quot;You once told me that progress is made only by intuition, and not by the accumulation of knowledge.&quot;
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;It is not quite so simple. Knowledge is necessary too. A child with great intuition could not grow up to become something worthwhile in life without some knowledge. However there comes a point in everyone's life where only intuition can make the leap ahead, without knowing precisely how.&quot;:

* Don't think about why you question, simply don't stop questioning. Don't worry about what you can't answer, and don't try to explain what you can't know. Curiosity is its own reason. Aren't you in awe when you contemplate the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure behind reality? And this is the miracle of the human mind—to use its constructions, concepts, and formulas as tools to explain what man sees, feels and touches. Try to comprehend a little more each day. Have holy curiosity.
** p. 138
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Then do not stop to think about the reasons for what you are doing, about why you are questioning. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. Never lose a holy curiosity.&quot;

* First you must have faith in an eternal world independent of you; then you must have faith in your ability to perceive it, and finally you must try to explain it by means of concepts or mathematical constructions. But don't always accept traditional concepts without reexamining them. Even overthrow my relativity theory, if you find a better one. . . . You must believe that the world was created as a unified whole which is comprehensible to man. Of course, it's going to take an infinitely long time to investigate this unified creation. But to me that is the highest and most sacred duty—unifying physics. Simplicity is the criterion of the universe.
** p. 139

* Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.
** p. 142

* Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value. Look around at how people want to get more out of life than they put in. A man of value will give more than he receives. Be creative, but make sure that what you create is not a curse for mankind.
** p. 143
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives.&quot;

==== ''Einstein's God'' (1997) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Einstein's God — Albert Einstein's Quest as a Scientist and as a Jew to Replace a Forsaken God'' (1997) by Robert N. Goldman &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|1568219830}} &lt;/small&gt; &lt;!-- Joyce Aronson Inc.; Northvale, New Jersey --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.'''&lt;!-- p. vii --&gt;

[[File:Christ_with_beard.jpg|thumb|I have always believed that [[Jesus]] meant by the [[Kingdom of God]] the small group scattered [[all]] through [[time]] of [[intellectually]] and [[ethically]] valuable people.]]
* A man who is convinced of the truth of his religion is indeed never tolerant. At the least, he is to feel pity for the adherent of another religion but usually it does not stop there. The faithful adherent of a religion will try first of all to convince those that believe in another religion and usually he goes on to hatred if he is not successful. However, hatred then leads to persecution when the might of the majority is behind it.&lt;br /&gt; In the case of a Christian clergyman, the tragic-comical is found in this: that the Christian religion demands love from the faithful, even love for the enemy. This demand, because it is indeed superhuman, he is unable to fulfill. Thus intolerance and hatred ring through the oily words of the clergyman. The love, which on the Christian side is the basis for the conciliatory attempt towards Judaism is the same as the love of a child for a cake. That means that it contains the hope that the object of the love will be eaten up...
** Letter to Rabbi Solomon Goldman of Chicago's Anshe Emet Congregation, p. 51

* If I would follow your advice and [[Jesus]] could perceive it, he, as a Jewish teacher, surely would not approve of such behavior.
** Reply to a Roman Catholic student urging him to pray to Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, and convert to Christianity.
** p. 88

* '''The fact that man produces a concept &quot;I&quot; besides the totality of his mental and emotional experiences or perceptions does not prove that there must be any specific existence behind such a concept. We are succumbing to illusions produced by our self-created language, without reaching a better understanding of anything.''' Most of so-called philosophy is due to this kind of [[fallacy]].
** p. 89

* '''One has a feeling that one has a kind of [[home]] in this timeless community of human beings that strive for truth. ... I have always believed that Jesus meant by the [[Kingdom of God]] the small group scattered all through time of intellectually and ethically valuable people.'''
** p. 98

* To take those fools in clerical garb seriously is to show them too much honor.
** Comment on the Union of Orthodox Rabbis after they had expelled a rabbi because of his disbelief in God as a [[wikipedia:Person|personal]] entity.

==== ''Einstein and Religion'' (1999) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Einstein and Religion: Physics and Theology'' (1999) by Max Jammer &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|069110297X}}&lt;/small&gt; &lt;!--Princeton University Press --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;

* Professor Smith has kindly submitted his book to me before publication. After reading it thoroughly and with intense interest I am glad to comply with his request to give him my impression. &lt;br /&gt; The work is a broadly conceived attempt to portray man's fear-induced animistic and mythic ideas with all their far-flung transformations and interrelations. It relates the impact of these phantasmagorias on human destiny and the causal relationships by which they have become crystallized into organized religion. &lt;br /&gt; This is a biologist speaking, whose scientific training has disciplined him in a grim objectivity rarely found in the pure historian. This objectivity has not, however, hindered him from emphasizing the boundless suffering which, in its end results, this mythic thought has brought upon man. &lt;br /&gt; Professor Smith envisages as a redeeming force, training in objective observation of all that is available for immediate perception and in the interpretation of facts without preconceived ideas. In his view, only if every individual strives for truth can humanity attain a happier future; the atavisms in each of us that stand in the way of a friendlier destiny can only thus be rendered ineffective. &lt;br /&gt; His historical picture closes with the end of the nineteenth century, and with good reason. By that time it seemed that the influence of these mythic, authoritatively anchored forces which can be denoted as religious, had been reduced to a tolerable level in spite of all the persisting inertia and hypocrisy. &lt;br /&gt; Even then, a new branch of mythic thought had already grown strong, one not religious in nature but no less perilous to mankind — exaggerated nationalism. Half a century has shown that this new adversary is so strong that it places in question man's very survival. It is too early for the present-day historian to write about this problem, but it is to be hoped that one will survive who can undertake the task at a later date.
** Foreword of &quot;Man and his Gods&quot; by Homer W. Smith

* '''We followers of [[Spinoza]] see our God in the wonderful order and lawfulness of all that exists and in its soul (&quot;Beseeltheit&quot;) as it reveals itself in man and animal.''' It is a different question whether belief in a personal God should be contested. Freud endorsed this view in his latest publication. I myself would never engage in such a task. For such a belief seems to me preferable to the lack of any transcendental outlook of life, and I wonder whether one can ever successfully render to the majority of mankind a more sublime means in order to satisfy its metaphysical needs.
** From a letter to Eduard Büsching (25 October 1929) after Büsching sent Einstein a copy of his book ''Es gibt keinen Gott'' [''There Is no God'']. Einstein responded that the book only dealt with the concept of a ''personal'' God, p. 51

* Speaking of the spirit that informs modern scientific investigations, I am of the opinion that all the finer speculations in the realm of science spring from a deep religious feeling, and that without such a feeling they would not be fruitful. '''I also believe that, this kind of religiousness, which makes itself felt today in scientific investigations, is the only creative religious activity of our time.''' The art of today can hardly be looked upon at all as expressive of our religious instincts.
** Interview with J. Murphy and J. W. N. Sullivan (1930), p. 68

* Scientific research is based on the assumption that all events, including the actions of mankind, are determined by the laws of nature. Therefore, a research scientist will hardly be inclined to believe that events could be influenced by a prayer, that is, by a wish addressed to a supernatural Being. However, we have to admit that our actual knowledge of these laws is only an incomplete piece of work (unvollkommenes Stückwerk), so that ultimately the belief in the existence of fundamental all-embracing laws also rests on a sort of faith. All the same, this faith has been largely justified by the success of science. On the other hand, however, '''every one who is seriously engaged in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that the laws of nature manifest the existence of a spirit vastly superior to that of men, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble.''' The pursuit of science leads therefore to a religious feeling of a special kind, which differs essentially from the religiosity of more naive people.
** Letter in response to sixth-grader Phyllis Wright, asking whether scientists pray, and if so, what they pray for (24 January 1936) p. 92-93

* I was barked at by numerous dogs who are earning their food guarding ignorance and superstition for the benefit of those who profit from it. Then there are the fanatical atheists whose intolerance is of the same kind as the intolerance of the religious fanatics and comes from the same source. They are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who—in their grudge against the traditional &quot;opium for the people&quot;—cannot bear the music of the spheres. '''The Wonder of nature does not become smaller because one cannot measure it by the standards of human moral and human aims.'''
** Letter (7 August 1941) discussing responses to his essay &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1941), p. 97

* I have found no better expression than &quot;religious&quot; for confidence in the rational nature of reality as it is accessible to human reason. Wherever this feeling is absent, science degenerates into uninspired empiricism. ... I cannot accept your opinion concerning science and ethics or the determination of aims. What we call science has the sole purpose of determining what ''is''. The determining of what ''ought to be'' is unrelated to it and cannot be accomplished methodically. '''Science can only arrange ethical propositions logically and furnish the means for the realization of ethical aims, but the determination of aims is beyond its scope.''' At least that is the way I see it.
** Letter to his friend Maurice Solovine (1 January 1951) p. 120

* The idea of a personal God is quite alien to me and seems even naive. However, I am also not a &quot;Freethinker&quot; in the usual sense of the word because I find that this is in the main an attitude nourished exclusively by an opposition against naive superstition. My feeling is insofar religious as I am imbued with the consciousness of the insufficiency of the human mind to understand deeply the harmony of the Universe which we try to formulate as &quot;laws of nature.&quot; It is this consciousness and humility I miss in the Free-thinker mentality.
** Letter to Beatrice F. in response to a question about whether he was a &quot;free thinker&quot; (17 December 1952), p. 121
{{anchor|details}}
* '''I want to know how God created this world. I'm not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts, the rest are details.'''
** As quoted in &quot;A Talk with Einstein&quot; in ''The Listener'' 54 (1955)&lt;!-- , p. 370-371, --&gt; p. 123

* It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropomorphic concept which I cannot take seriously. I feel also not able to imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. My views are near to those of Spinoza: admiration for the beauty of and belief in the logical simplicity of the order and harmony which we can grasp humbly and only imperfectly. '''I believe that we have to content ourselves with our imperfect knowledge and understanding and treat values and moral obligations as a purely human problem—the most important of all human problems.'''
** From a letter to Murray W. Gross (26 April 1947), p. 138

* The mere formulation of a problem is far more often essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative imagination and makes real advances in science
** http://umich.edu/~scps/html/01chap/html/summary.htm

{{Disputed begin}}

==Disputed==
* '''There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.'''
** As quoted in ''Journal of France and Germany'' (1942–1944) by [[w:Gilbert F. White|Gilbert Fowler White]], in excerpt published in ''Living with Nature's Extremes: The Life of Gilbert Fowler White'' (2006) by Robert E. Hinshaw, p. 62. From the [http://books.google.com/books?id=_2qfZRp9SeEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA62#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false context] it seems that White did not specify whether he had heard Einstein himself say this or whether he was repeating a quote that had been passed along by someone else, so without a primary source the validity of this quote should be considered questionable. &lt;br /&gt; Some have argued that elsewhere Einstein defined a &quot;miracle&quot; as a type of event he did not believe was possible—''Einstein on Religion'' by Max Jammer (1999) quotes on p. 89 from a 1931 conversation Einstein had with David Reichinstein, where Reichinstein brought up philosopher Arthur Liebert's argument that the indeterminism of quantum mechanics might allow for the possibility of miracles, and Einstein replied that Liebert's argument dealt &quot;with a domain in which lawful rationality [determinism] does not exist. A 'miracle,' however, is an exception from lawfulness; hence, there where lawfulness does not exist, also its exception, i.e., a miracle, cannot exist.&quot; (&quot;''Dort, wo eine Gesetzmässigkeit nicht vorhanden ist, kann auch ihre Ausnahme, d.h. ein Wunder, nicht existieren.''&quot; D. Reichenstein, ''Die Religion der Gebildeten'' (1941), p. 21).  However, it is clear from the context that Einstein was stating only that miracles cannot exist in a domain (quantum mechanics) where lawful rationality does not exist.  He did not claim that miracles could never exist in any domain.  Indeed, Einstein clearly believed, as seen in many quotations above, that the universe was comprehensible and rational, but he also described this characteristic of the universe as a &quot;miracle&quot;. In another example, he is quoted as claiming belief in a God, &quot;Who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world.&quot; 
** Variant: '''There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.'''
*** As quoted in ''From Yale to Jail: The Life Story of a Moral Dissenter'' (1993) by [[w:David Dellinger|David T. Dellinger]], p. 418

* It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service.
** No known source; it appears to be a paraphrase of the last sentence of Einstein's [[#Ideal of Service|&quot;An Ideal of Service to Our Fellow Man&quot;]]. Earliest known attribution is in the ''Washingon Afro-American'', ''AFRO Magazine Section'', Sept 21, 1954, [http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=I8slAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=6_QFAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=4494,1273325 p. 2]
* The measure of intelligence is the ability to change
* The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects.
** Attributed without source to Einstein in Mieczyslaw Taube, ''Evolution of Matter and Energy on a Cosmic and Planetary Scale'' (1985), page 1

* In December, 1947, he made the following statement: &quot;I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my life.&quot;
** Attributed in FBI Memo, February 13, 1950 (item 61-4099-25 in Einstein's FBI file—viewable online as p. 72 of &quot;Albert Einstein Part 1 of 14&quot; [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein here], as well as p. 72 of the pdf file which can be downloaded [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein/Albert%20Einstein%20Part%201%20of%2014/at_download/file here]). There is no other information in the FBI's released files as to what source attributed this statement to Einstein, and the files are full of falsehoods, including the accusation that Einstein was secretly pro-communist.

* '''Common sense is actually nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind prior to the age of eighteen.'''
** ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice lists this as &quot;probably not by Einstein&quot;. However, [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/29/common-sense/ this post from quoteinvestigator.com] traces it to a reasonably plausible source: the second part of a three-part series by Lincoln Barrett (former editor of 'Life' magazine) titled &quot;The Universe and Dr. Einstein&quot; in Harper's Magazine, from May 1948, in which Barrett wrote &quot;But as Einstein has pointed out, common sense is actually nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind prior to the age of eighteen.&quot; Since he didn't put the statement in quotes it could be a paraphrase, and &quot;as Einstein has pointed out&quot; makes it unclear whether Einstein said this personally to Barrett or Barrett was recalling a quote of Einstein's he'd seen elsewhere. In any case, the interview was republished in a book of the same title, and Einstein wrote a foreword which praised Barrett's work on the book, so it's likely he read the quote about common sense and at least had no objection to it, whether or not he recalled making the specific comment.
** Unsourced variant: Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

* Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe.
**Variants: &quot;... is man's greatest invention&quot; and &quot;... is the eighth wonder of the world&quot;.
**May add: &quot;He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn't, pays it.&quot;
**[http://www.snopes.com/quotes/einstein/interest.asp This Snopes article] concluded that its status was uncertain, while [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/31/compound-interest/ this post from The Quote Investigator] concludes it is most likely a false attribution, since variants of the quote date back to at least 1916, with the early variants not being attributed to Einstein.

* Fairy tales and more fairy tales. [in response to a mother who wanted her son to become a scientist and asked Einstein what reading material to give him]
**Found in ''Montana Libraries: Volumes 8-14'' (1954), [http://books.google.com/books?id=PpwaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22more+fairy+tales%22#search_anchor p. cxxx]. The story is given as follows: &quot;In the current New Mexico Library Bulletin, Elizabeth Margulis tells a story of a woman who was a personal friend of the late dean of scientists, Dr. Albert Einstein. Motivated partly by her admiration for him, she held hopes that her son might become a scientist. One day she asked Dr. Einstein's advice about the kind of reading that would best prepare the child for this career. To her surprise, the scientist recommended 'Fairy tales and more fairy tales.' The mother protested that she was really serious about this and she wanted a serious answer; but Dr. Einstein persisted, adding that creative imagination is the essential element in the intellectual equipment of the true scientist, and that fairy tales are the childhood stimulus to this quality.&quot; However, it is unclear from this description whether Margulis heard this story personally from the woman who had supposedly had this discussion with Einstein, and the [[relevant]] issue of the ''New Mexico Library Bulletin'' does not appear to be online.
** Variant: &quot;First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!&quot; Found in ''The Wilson Library Bulletin'', Vol. 37 from 1962, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=KfQOAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor p. 678] that this quote was reported by &quot;Doris Gates, writer and children's librarian&quot;.
** Variant: &quot;Fairy tales ... More fairy tales ... Even more fairy tales&quot;. Found in ''Breaking the Magic Spell: Radical Theories of Folk and Fairy Tales'' by Jack Zipes (1979), [http://books.google.com/books?id=MxZFuahqzsMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be brilliant, tell them fairy tales. If you want them to be very brilliant, tell them even more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Chocolate for a Woman's Heart &amp; Soul'' by Kay Allenbaugh (1998), [http://books.google.com/books?id=grrpJh7-CfcC&amp;q=brilliant#search_anchor p. 57]. This version can be found in [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] posts from before 1998, like [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.music.beatles/msg/cec9a9fdf803b72b?hl=en this one from 1995].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be very intelligent, read them more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Mad, Bad and Dangerous?: The Scientist and the Cinema'' by Christopher Frayling (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=HjRYA3ELdG0C&amp;lpg=PA6&amp;dq=einstein%20%22want%20your%20children%20to%20be%20intelligent%22&amp;pg=PA6#v=onepage&amp;q=einstein%20%22want%20your%20children%20to%20be%20intelligent%22&amp;f=false p. 6].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Super joy English, Volume 8'' by 佳音事業機構 (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-HUBKzP8zsUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 87]

* The really valuable thing is intuition.
**Although similar to many of Einstein's comments about the importance of intuition and imagination, no sources for this can be found prior to ''The Psychology of Consciousness'' by Robert Evan Ornstein (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=0Yh9AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22really+valuable+thing+is+intuition%22#search_anchor p. 68], where there is no mention of where the quote was originally made. A number of early sources from the 1980s and 1990s attribute it to ''The Intuitive Edge'' by Philip Goldberg (1983), which also provides no original source.

* Two things are infinite: the universe and the human stupidity.
** As discussed in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/universe-einstein/#more-173 this entry from The Quote Investigator], the earliest published attribution of a similar quote to Einstein seems to have been in Gestalt therapist [[w:Fritz Perls|Frederick S. Perls]]' 1969 book ''Gestalt Theory Verbatim'', where he wrote on p. 33: &quot;As Albert Einstein once said to me: 'Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.' But what is much more widespread than the actual stupidity is the playing stupid, turning off your ear, not listening, not seeing.&quot; Perls also offered another variant in his 1972 book ''In and Out the Garbage Pail'', where he mentioned a meeting with Einstein and on [http://books.google.com/books?id=HuxFAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=human+stupidity#search_anchor p. 52] quoted him saying: &quot;Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.&quot; However, Perls had given yet another variant of this quote in an earlier book, ''Ego, Hunger, and Aggression: a Revision of Freud's Theory and Method'' (originally published 1942, although the Quote Investigator only checked that the quote appeared in the 1947 edition), where he attributed it not to Einstein but to a &quot;great astronomer&quot;, writing: &quot;As modern times promote hasty eating to a large extent, it is not surprising to learn that a great astronomer said: 'Two things are infinite, as far as we know – the universe and human stupidity.' To-day we know that this statement is not quite correct. Einstein has proved that the universe is limited.&quot; So, the later attributions in 1969 and 1972 may have been a case of faulty memory, or of intentionally trying to increase the authority of the quote by attributing it to Einstein. The quote itself may be a variant of a similar quote attributed even earlier to the philosopher [[w:Ernest Renan|Ernest Renan]], found for example in ''The Public: Volume 18'' from 1915, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cTPmAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA1126#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1126]: &quot;He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity.&quot; (Other examples of similar attributions to Renan can be found on [http://www.google.com/search?q=renan+infinity+stupidity&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this Google Books search].) Renan was French so this is presumably intended as a translation, but different sources give different versions of the supposed original French quote, such as &quot;''La bêtise humaine est la seule chose qui donne une idée de l'infini''&quot; (found for example in ''Réflexions sur la vie, 1895-1898'' by Remy de Gourmont from 1903, [http://books.google.com/books?id=RtrtAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA103#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 103], along with several other early sources as seen in [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22humaine+est+la+seule+chose+qui%22+renan&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this search]) and &quot;''Ce n'est pas l'immensité de la voûte étoilée qui peut donner le plus complétement l'idée de l'infini, mais bien la bêtise humaine!''&quot; (found in ''Broad views, Volume 2'' from 1904, [http://books.google.com/books?id=9NEaAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA465#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 465]). Since these variants have not been found in Renan's own writings, they may represent false attributions as well. They may also be variants of an even older saying; for example, the 1880 book ''Des vers'' by [[Guy de Maupassant]] includes on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 9] a quote from a letter (dated February 19, 1880) by [[Gustave Flaubert]] where Flaubert writes &quot;''Cependant, qui sait? La terre a des limites, mais la bêtise humaine est infinie!''&quot; which translates to &quot;But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!&quot; Similarly the 1887 book ''Melanges'' by [[w:Jules-Paul Tardivel|Jules-Paul Tardivel]] includes on [http://books.google.com/books?id=n9cOAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA273#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 273] a piece said to have been written in 1880 in which he writes &quot;''Aujourd'hui je sais qu'il n'y a pas de limites à la bêtise humaine, qu'elle est infinie''&quot; which translates to &quot;today I know that there is no limit to human stupidity, it is infinite.&quot;
**Variant: &quot;Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.&quot; Earliest version located is in ''Technocracy digest: Issues 287–314'' from 1988, [http://books.google.com/books?id=L7LnAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22sure+about+the+former%22#search_anchor p. 76]. Translated to German as: &quot;''Zwei Dinge sind unendlich: das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit. Aber beim Universum bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher.''&quot; (Earliest version located - &quot;Zwei Dinge sind unendlich, das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit . . . Und beim Universum bin ich mir noch keineswegs sicher&quot; - in Hans Askenasy: ''Sind wir alle Nazis? Zum Potential der Unmenschlichkeit'', Campus Verlag Frankfurt/Main 1979, [https://books.google.de/books?id=eIowAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22albert%20einstein%22 p. 153 books.google].)

* Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. 
** The source generally (but falsely) cited is Einstein's [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_as_I_See_It_(book) ''The World As I See It''] (1949). The quotation is probably a translation of &quot;''Der Zufall ist das Pseudonym, das der liebe Gott wählt, wenn er inkognito bleiben will''&quot; (attributed to [[Albert Schweitzer]]). 

* We cannot solve the problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
** &quot;Einstein's famous saying in Copenhagen&quot;, as quoted in a ''[[w:Foreign Broadcast Information Service|FBIS]]'' [https://books.google.de/books?id=DfQTAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22We+cannot+solve%22 ''Daily Report'']: East Europe (4 April 1995), p. 45

*  If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies
** Attributed to Einstein in ''Treasury of the Christian Faith'' (1949) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ll4wAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein p. 415 books.google], and subsequently repeated in other books.  No original source where Einstein supposedly said this has been located, and it is absent from authoritative sources such as Calaprice, ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein''.

* If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.
** Variant: If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.
** There is no indication that Einstein said this. According to Quote Investigator, the earliest publication of a quote similar was in a collection of articles about manufacturing in 1966, when an employee of the Stainless Processing Company wrote a piece titled &quot;The Manufacturing Manager's Skills.&quot; The article attributed the quote to an unnamed professor at Yale, by saying, &quot;If I had only one hour to solve a problem, I would spend up to two-thirds of that hour in attempting to define what the problem is.&quot;  (See, 1966, The Manufacturing Man and His Job by Robert E. Finley and Henry R. Ziobro, &quot;The Manufacturing Manager's Skills&quot; by William H. Markle (Vice President, Stainless Processing Company, Chicago, Illinois), Start Page 15, Quote Page 18, Published by American Management Association, Inc., New York. Verified on paper). https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/05/22/solve/
{{Disputed end}}

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==
*I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.
**''Variants'': 
***I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots. 
***I fear the day when technology overlaps our humanity. It will be then that the world will have permanent ensuing generations of idiots.
**1995 film ''{{w|Powder (film)|Powder}}'' includes a similar quotation attributed to Einstein: 
***It's become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.
**Although it is a popular quote on the internet, there is no substantial evidence that Einstein actually said that. It does not appear in &quot;The Ultimate Quotable Einstein&quot; from Princeton University Press nor in any reliable source. &quot;[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/03/19/tech-surpass/ Quote Investigator]&quot; concluded that it probably emerged as a {{w|meme (Internet)|meme}} on the internet as late as 2012.

* Contempt prior to investigation is what enslaves a mind to Ignorance.
** This or similar statements are more often misattributed to [[Herbert Spencer]], but the source of the phrase &quot;contempt prior to investigation&quot; seems to have been [[William Paley]], ''A View of the Evidences of Christianity'' (1794): &quot;The infidelity of the Gentile world, and that more especially of men of rank and learning in it, is resolved into a principle which, in my judgment, will account for the inefficacy of any argument, or any evidence whatever, ''viz''. contempt prior to examination.&quot;

*&lt;p&gt;Being a lover of freedom, when the revolution came in Germany, I looked to the universities to defend it, knowing that they had always boasted of their devotion to the cause of truth; but, no, the universities immediately were silenced. Then I looked to the great editors of the newspapers whose flaming editorials in days gone by had proclaimed their love of freedom; but they, like the universities, were silenced in a few short weeks. Then I looked to individual writers who, as literary guides of Germany, had written much and often concerning the place of freedom in modern life; but they, too, were mute.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Only the church stood squarely across the path of Hitler's campaign for suppressing truth. I never had any special interest in the church before, but now I feel a great affection and admiration because the church alone has had the courage and persistence to stand for intellectual truth and moral freedom. I am forced thus to confess that what I once despised I now praise unreservedly.&lt;/p&gt;
**Attributed in &quot;The Conflict Between Church And State In The Third Reich&quot;, by [[w:S. Parkes Cadman|S. Parkes Cadman]], ''La Crosse Tribune and Leader-Press'' (28 October 1934), viewable online on p. 9 of the issue [http://newspaperarchive.com/us/wisconsin/la-crosse/la-crosse-tribune-and-leader-press/1934/10-28/ here] (double-click the page to zoom). The quote is preceded by &quot;In this connection it is worth quoting ''in free translation'' a statement made by Professor Einstein last year to one of my colleagues who has been prominently identified with the Protestant church in its contacts with Germany.&quot; [Emphasis added.] '''While based on something that Einstein said, Einstein himself stated that the quote was not an accurate record of his words or opinion.''' After the quote appeared in ''Time'' magazine (23 December 1940), [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,765103,00.html p. 38], a minister in Harbor Springs, Michigan wrote to Einstein to check if the quote was real. Einstein wrote back &quot;'''It is true that I made a statement which corresponds approximately with the text you quoted. I made this statement during the first years of the Nazi-Regime — much earlier than 1940 — and my expressions were a little more moderate.'''&quot; (March 1943) [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/200706A19.html]
**In a later letter to Rev. Cornelius Greenway of Brooklyn, who asked if Einstein would write out the statement in his own hand, Einstein was more vehement in his repudiation of the statement (14 November 1950) [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;pg=PA94]: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The wording of the statement you have quoted is not my own.''' Shortly after Hitler came to power in Germany I had an oral conversation with a newspaper man about these matters. '''Since then my remarks have been elaborated and exaggerated nearly beyond recognition. I cannot in good conscience write down the statement you sent me as my own.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; The matter is all the more embarrassing to me because I, like yourself, I am predominantly critical concerning the activities, and especially the political activities, through history of the official clergy. '''Thus, my former statement, even if reduced to my actual words (which I do not remember in detail) gives a wrong impression of my general attitude.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:: In his original statement Einstein was probably referring to the actions of the [[w:Pfarrernotbund|Emergency Covenant of Pastors]] organized by [[Martin Niemöller]], and the [[w:Confessing Church|Confessing Church]] which he and other prominent churchmen such as [[Karl Barth]] and [[Dietrich Bonhoeffer]] established in opposition to Nazi policies.
:: Einstein also made some scathingly negative comments about the behavior of the Church under the Nazi regime (and its behavior towards Jews throughout history) in a 1943 conversation with William Hermanns recorded in Hermanns' book ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983). On [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA63#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 63] Hermanns records him saying &quot;Never in history has violence been so widespread as in Nazi Germany. The concentration camps make the actions of Genghis Khan look like child's play. But what makes me shudder is that the Church is silent. One doesn't need to be a prophet to say, 'The Catholic Church will pay for this silence.' Dr. Hermanns, you will live to see that there is moral law in the universe. . . .There are cosmic laws, Dr. Hermanns. They cannot be bribed by prayers or incense. What an insult to the principles of creation. But remember, that for God a thousand years is a day. This power maneuver of the Church, these Concordats through the centuries with worldly powers . . . the Church has to pay for it. We live now in a scientific age and in a psychological age. You are a sociologist, aren't you? You know what the ''Herdenmenschen'' (men of herd mentality) can do when they are organized and have a leader, especially if he is a spokesmen for the Church. I do not say that the unspeakable crimes of the Church for 2000 years had always the blessings of the Vatican, but it vaccinated its believers with the idea: We have the true God, and the Jews have crucified Him. The Church sowed hate instead of love, though the Ten Commandments state: Thou shalt not kill.&quot; And then on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA64#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 64]: &quot;I'm not a Communist but I can well understand why they destroyed the Church in Russia. All the wrongs come home, as the proverb says. The Church will pay for its dealings with Hitler, and Germany, too.&quot; And on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA65#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 65]: &quot;I don't like to implant in youth the Church's doctrine of a personal God, because that Church has behaved so inhumanely in the past 2000 years. The fear of punishment makes the people march. Consider the hate the Church manifested against the Jews and then against the Muslims, the Crusades with their crimes, the burning stakes of the Inquisition, the tacit consent of Hitler's actions while the Jews and the Poles dug their own graves and were slaughtered. And Hitler is said to have been an altar boy! The truly religious man has no fear of life and no fear of death—and certainly no blind faith; his faith must be in his conscience. . . . I am therefore against all organized religion. Too often in history, men have followed the cry of battle rather than the cry of truth.&quot; When Hermanns asked him &quot;Isn't it only human to move along the line of least resistance?&quot;, Einstein responded &quot;Yes. It is indeed human, as proved by Cardinal Pacelli, who was behind the Concordat with Hitler. Since when can one make a pact with Christ and Satan at the same time? And he is now the Pope! The moment I hear the word 'religion', my hair stands on end. The Church has always sold itself to those in power, and agreed to any bargain in return for immunity. It would have been fine if the spirit of religion had guided the Church; instead, the Church determined the spirit of religion. Churchmen through the ages have fought political and institutional corruption very little, so long as their own sanctity and church property were preserved.&quot;

* Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and the spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
** Variant: The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.
** These two statements are very similar, widely quoted, and seem to paraphrase some ideas in the essay &quot;[[Albert_Einstein#Religion_and_Science_.281930.29|Religion and Science]]&quot; (see below), but neither of the two specific quotes above been properly sourced. Notable Einstein scholars such as John Stachel and Thomas J. McFarlane (author of ''Buddha and Einstein: The Parallel Sayings'') know of this statement but have not found any source for it. Any information on any definite original sources for these is welcome.
** This quote does not actually appear in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' as is sometimes claimed.
** Only two sources from before 1970 can be found on Google Books. The first is ''The Theosophist: Volume 86'' which seems to cover the years [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=1964#search_anchor 1964] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=1965#search_anchor 1965]. The quote appears attributed to Einstein on [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22natural+and+spiritual%22#search_anchor p. 255], with the wording given as &quot;The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description.&quot; An identical quote appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=YpsfAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22dogmas+and+theology%22#search_anchor p. 284] of ''The Maha Bodhi: Volume 72'' published by the Maha Bodhi Society of India, which seems to contain issues from [http://books.google.com/books?id=YpsfAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22volume+72%22#search_anchor throughout 1964].
** A number of phrases in the quote are similar to phrases in Einstein's &quot;Religion and Science&quot;. Comparing the version of the quote in ''The Theosophist'' to the version of &quot;Religion and Science&quot; published in 1930, &quot;a cosmic religion&quot; in the first resembles &quot;the cosmic religious sense&quot; in the second; &quot;transcend a personal God&quot; resembles &quot;does not involve an anthropomorphic idea of God&quot;; &quot;covering both the natural and the spiritual&quot; resembles &quot;revealed in nature and in the world of thought&quot;; &quot;the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity&quot; resembles &quot;experience the totality of existence as a unity full of significance&quot;; and &quot;Buddhism answers this description&quot; resembles &quot;The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism&quot;. These phrases appear in the same order in both cases, and the ones from &quot;Religion and Science&quot; are all from a single paragraph of the essay.

* Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
** Attributed in emails in 1999, as debunked at [http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp#MX2FyfdMLHissI4T.99 &quot;Malice of Absence&quot; at Snopes.com]
** Variant: Evil is the absence of God.
*** This statement has been attributed to others before Einstein; its first attribution to Einstein appears to have been in an email story that began circulating in 2004. See the ''[http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp Urban Legends Reference Pages]'' for more discussion.

* If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
** Earliest attribution located is ''The Yogi and the Commissar'' by [[Arthur Koestler]] (1945), [http://books.google.com/books?id=tys4AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22you+are+out+to+describe+the+truth%22#search_anchor p. v]. Koestler prefaces it with &quot;My comfort is what Einstein said when somebody reproached him with the suggestion that his formula of gravitation was longer and more cumbersome than Newton's formula in its elegant simplicity&quot;. This is actually a variant of a quote Einstein attributed to [[Ludwig Boltzmann]]; in the Preface to his ''Relativity—The Special and General Theory'' (1916), Einstein wrote: &quot;I adhered scrupulously to the precept of that brilliant theoretical physicist L. Boltzmann, according to whom matters of elegance ought to be left to the tailor and to the cobbler.&quot; (reprinted in the 2007 book ''A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion: The Essential Scientific Works of Albert Einstein'' edited by Stephen Hawking, [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA128#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 128])

* Two things inspire me to awe: the starry heavens and the moral universe within.
** If Einstein said this, he was almost certainly quoting philosopher [[Immanuel Kant]]'s words from the conclusion to the ''Critique of Practical Reason'' (1788), translated in Paul Guyer's ''The Cambridge Companion to Kant'' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=pYE5rVzrPNgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1]) as: &quot;Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe, the more often and steadily we reflect upon them: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me.&quot;

* The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
** This is similar to a quote attributed to [[Mark Twain]]: &quot;I never let my schooling get in the way of my education&quot;. The earliest published source located attributing the quote to Einstein is the 1999 book ''Career Management for the Creative Person'' by Lee T. Silber, [http://books.google.com/books?id=eNjhnHmerfwC&amp;q=%22interferes+with+my+learning%22#search_anchor p. 130], while the earliest published source located for the Mark Twain quote is the 1996 book ''Children at Risk'' by C. Niall McElwee, [http://books.google.com/books?id=p_FEAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22never+let+schooling+get+in+the+way+of+my+education%22+%22mark+twain%22#search_anchor p. 45]. Both quotes appeared on the internet before that: the earliest post located that attributes the quote to Einstein is [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.travel.air/msg/b1feb7ca5019ab2e this one from 11 February 1994], while the earliest located that attributes the variant to Mark Twain is [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.m68k/msg/9c2f7cdecb11eccb this one from 28 March 1988]

* The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
** This quote does appear in Einstein's 1940 essay &quot;The Fundaments of Physics&quot; which can be found in his book ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950), but Einstein does not claim credit for it, instead calling it &quot;[[Gotthold Ephraim Lessing|Lessing]]'s fine saying&quot;.

* Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.
** Earliest source located that attributes this to Einstein is the 1975 book ''The Nature of Scientific Discovery: A Symposium Commemorating the 500th Anniversary of the Birth of Nicolaus Copernicus'' edited by Owen Gingerich, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ub3gAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22certainly+a+central%22#search_anchor p. 585]. But long before that, the 1944 book ''Einstein: An Intimate Study of a Great Man'' by Dimitri Marianoff and Palma Wayne contains the following quote on p. 62: &quot;But Einstein came along and took space and time out of the realm of stationary things and put them in the realm of relativity—giving the onlooker dominion over time and space, because time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.&quot; It appears from the quote that the authors were giving their own description of Einstein's ideas, not quoting him.

* &lt;div name=&quot;explain-simply&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
** variant: If you can't explain something to a six-year-old, you really don't understand it yourself.
** variant: If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
** Frequently attributed to [[Richard Feynman]]
** Probably based on a similar quote about explaining physics to a &quot;barmaid&quot; by [[Ernest Rutherford]]
** Page 418 of ''Einstein: His Life and Times'' (1972) by Ronald W. Clark says that [[Louis de Broglie]] did attribute a similar statement to Einstein:
**: To de Broglie, Einstein revealed an instinctive reason for his inability to accept the purely [[w:Interpretations of quantum mechanics#Ensemble interpretation, or statistical interpretation|statistical interpretation]] of wave mechanics. It was a reason which linked him with Rutherford, who used to state that &quot;it should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.&quot; Einstein, having a final discussion with de Broglie on the platform of the Gare du Nord in Paris, whence they had traveled from Brussels to attend the Fresnel centenary celebrations, said &quot;that all physical theories, their mathematical expressions apart ought to lend themselves to so simple a description 'that even a child could understand them.' &quot;
** The de Broglie quote is from his 1962 book ''New Perspectives in Physics'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=xY45AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22mathematical+expression+apart%22#search_anchor p. 184].
** Cf. this quote from [[David Hilbert]]'s talk ''Mathematical Problems'' given in 1900 before the International Congress of Mathematicians:
**: &quot;A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street.&quot;
** Cf. this quote from [[Kurt Vonnegut]]'s novel ''[[Cat's Cradle]]'':
:: Dr. Hoenikker used to say that any scientist who couldn't explain to an eight-year-old what he was doing was a charlatan.

* You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
** Earliest published version found on Google Books with this phrasing is in the 1993 book ''The Internet Companion: A Beginner's Guide to Global Networking'' by Tracy L. LaQuey and Jeanne C. Ryer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=sP5SAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=meowing#search_anchor p. 25]. However, the quote seems to have been circulating on the internet earlier than this, appearing for example in [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.c/msg/cc89abb5e065d23f?hl=en this post from 1987] and [http://groups.google.com/group/net.sources.games/browse_thread/thread/846af15b5a38c35/3d6d5a639c24bba3 this one from 1985]. No reference has been found that cites a source in Einstein's original writings, and the quote appears to be a variation of an old joke that dates at least as far back as 1866, as discussed in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/02/24/telegraph-cat/#more-3387 this entry from the &quot;Quote Investigator&quot; blog]. A variant was told by [[Thomas Edison]], appearing in ''The Diary and Sundry Observations of Thomas Alva Edison'' (1948), [http://books.google.com/books?id=NXtEAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=edinburgh#search_anchor p. 216]: &quot;When I was a little boy, persistently trying to find out how the telegraph worked and why, the best explanation I ever got was from an old Scotch line repairer who said that if you had a dog like a dachshund long enough to reach from Edinburgh to London, if you pulled his tail in Edinburgh he would bark in London. I could understand that. But it was hard to get at what it was that went through the dog or over the wire.&quot; A variant of Edison's comment can be found in the 1910 book ''Edison, His Life and Inventions, Volume 1'' by Frank Lewis Dyer and Thomas Commerford Martin, [http://books.google.com/books?id=qN83AAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA53#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 53].
** The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.
***Variant, earliest known published version is ''How to Think Like Einstein'' by Scott Thorpe (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=9yrYQxBgIYEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 61]. Appeared on the internet before that, as in [http://web.archive.org/web/19991012152820/http://stripe.colorado.edu/%7Ejudy/einstein/advice.html this archived page from 12 October 1999]

*The mind that opens to a new idea, Never comes back to its original size.
**Actually said by [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]] in his book ''The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table'': &quot;Every now and then a man's mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions.&quot;

* ''Die Astrologie ist eine Wissenschaft für sich. Aber eine wegweisende. Ich habe viel aus ihr gelernt und vielen Nutzen aus ihr ziehen können. Die physikalischen Erkenntnisse unterstreichen die Macht der Sterne über irdisches Geschick. Die Astrologie aber unterstreicht in gewissem Sinne wiederum die physikalischen Erkenntnisse. Deshalb ist sie eine Art Lebens-elixier für die Gesellschaft!''
** ''English:'' Astrology is a science in itself and contains an illuminating body of knowledge. It taught me many things, and I am greatly indebted to it. Geophysical evidence reveals the power of the stars and the planets in relation to the terrestrial. In turn, astrology reinforces this power to some extent. This is why astrology is like a life-giving elixir to mankind.
*** German quote attributed to Einstein in ''Huters astrologischer Kalender 1960'' [A]
*** Translated by Tad Mann, unidentified 1987 work
*** Contradicted by Denis Hamel, ''The End of the Einstein-Astrology-Supporter Hoax'', ''Skeptical Inquirer'', Vol. 31, No. 6 (Nov-Dec 2007), pp. 39-43
*** Alice Calaprice, ''The Expanded Quotable Einstein'': &quot;Attributed to Einstein ''[...]'' An excellent example of a quotation someone made up and attributed to Einstein in order to lend an idea credibility.&quot;

* A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot.
** A variation on a quotation of [[Alexander Pope]], attributed to Einstein in various recent sources, such as [[Marvin Minsky]]'s ''The Emotion Machine'' (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=OqbMnWDKIJ4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA176#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 176], and at the start of the 2006 pilot episode of the television series [[Eureka (TV series)|Eureka]]. The oldest published source located attributing this to Einstein is the 2004 book ''Strategic Investment: Real Options and Games'' by Han T. J. Smit and Lenos Trigeorgis, [http://books.google.com/books?id=pN41ZtNoqBEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA429#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 429], and before that it was attributed to him on the internet, the earliest example found being [http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.physhare/msg/ef186aec3bf66ba6 this post from 19 May 1995]. But long before that, the same quote appears in an advertisement for Encyclopaedia Britannica that ran in ''The Atlantic Monthly: Volume 216'' from 1965, [http://books.google.com/books?id=TuMmAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22so+is+a+lot%22#search_anchor p. 139]. The ad mentioned Einstein but did not directly attribute the quote to him: &quot;Encyclopaedia Britannica says: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot. The more you know, the more you need to know — as Albert Einstein, for one, might have told you. Great knowledge has a way of bringing with it great responsibility. The people who put the Encyclopaedia Britannica together feel the same way. After all, if most of the world had come to count on you as the best single source of complete, accurate, up-to-date information on everything, you'd want to be pretty sure you knew what you were talking about.&quot;

*Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
** Actually written by [[E. F. Schumacher]] in a 1973 essay titled &quot;Small is Beautiful&quot; which appeared in ''The Radical Humanist: volume 37'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 22]. Earliest published source found on Google Books attributing this to Einstein is ''BMJ: The British Medical Journal'', volume 319, 23 October 1999, [http://books.google.com/books?id=bQk7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 1102]. It was attributed to Einstein on the internet somewhat before that, for example in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.weemba/msg/2bbf56ab8f4f757d?hl=en this 1997 post].

* {{anchor|IncrediblyFast}}Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.
** The earliest published source located on Google Books attributing this to Einstein is the 2000 book ''The Internet Handbook for Writers, Researchers, and Journalists'' by Mary McGuire, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Sb-v0K2EkNAC&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor p. 14]. It was attributed to him on the internet before that, as in [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.graphics.apps.lightwave/msg/d13c55cc4cca4867?hl=en this post from 1997]. Variants of the quote can be found well before this however, as in the 1989 book ''Urban Surface Water Management'' by S. G. Walesh, which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=-LcZUPtDykQC&amp;q=%22beyond+imagination%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22beyond%20imagination%22&amp;f=false p. 315] contains the statement (said to have been 'stated anonymously'): &quot;The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. Man is unbelievably slow, inaccurate, and brilliant. The marriage of the two is a challenge and opportunity beyond imagination.&quot; Even earlier, the article [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22and+direct+digital+control%22#search_anchor &quot;A Paper Industry Application of Systems Engineering and Direct Digital Control&quot;] by H. D. Couture, Jr. and M. A. Keyes, which appears in the 1969 ''Advances in Instrumentation: Vol. 24, Part 4'', has a statement on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Computers+are+incredibly+fast%2C+accurate+and+stupid%22#search_anchor this page] which uses phrasing similar to the supposed Einstein quote in describing computers and people: &quot;Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. On the other hand, a well trained operator as compared with a computer is incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant.&quot; Variants with slightly different wording can be found earlier than 1969, as in [http://journals.lww.com/joem/Citation/1968/04000/Fast,_Accurate_and_Stupid.10.aspx this April 1968 article]. The earliest source located, and most likely the origin of this saying, is an article titled &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; by John Pfeiffer, which appeared in the October 1961 issue of ''Fortune'' magazine. As quoted [http://books.google.com/books?id=TwwQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Man+is+a+slow%2C+sloppy%2C+and+brilliant+thinker%3B+computers+are+fast%2C+accurate%2C+and+stupid%22#search_anchor here], Pfeiffer's article contained the line &quot;Man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; computers are fast, accurate, and stupid.&quot;

* Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
** Einstein did write this quote in &quot;On Education&quot; from 1936, which appeared in ''Out of My Later Years'', but it was not his own original quip, he attributed it to an unnamed &quot;wit&quot;.
** Very popular in French: &quot;''La culture est ce qui reste lorsque l'on a tout oublié''&quot; (Culture is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything). Attributed in French to [[w:Édouard Herriot|Édouard Herriot]] (1872-1957) and, in English, sometimes to [[w:Ortega y Gasset|Ortega y Gasset]]. Another French variant is &quot;la culture est ce qui reste lorsqu'on a oublié toutes les choses apprises&quot; (Culture is that which remains if one has forgotten everything one has learned), which appears in the 1912 book ''Propos Critiques'' by [[w:Georges Duhamel|Georges Duhamel]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=Xpk_AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22la+culture+est+ce+qui+reste+lorsqu%27on+a+oubli%C3%A9+toutes+les+choses+apprises%22#search_anchor p. 14]. And another English variant is &quot;Culture is that which remains with a man when he has forgotten all he has learned&quot; which appears in ''The Living Age: Volume 335'' from 1929, [http://books.google.com/books?id=tHFRAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22Culture+is+that+which+remains+with+a+man+when+he+has+forgotten+all+he+has+learned%22#search_anchor p. 159], where it is attributed to &quot;Edouard Herriot, French Minister of Education&quot;. Another English variant is &quot;Education is that which remains behind when all we have learned at school is forgotten&quot;, which appears in ''The Education Outlook, vol. 60'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=dNcgAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=RA1-PA532#v=onepage&amp;q=%22education%20is%20that%20which%20remains%22&amp;f=false p. 532] (from an issue dated 2 December 1907), where it is attributed to [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]].
** The saying is found in an 1891 article by Swedish writer [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellen_Key Ellen Key], &quot;Själamorden i skolorna&quot;, which was published in the journal &quot;Verdandi&quot;, no. 2, pages 86-98 (the saying is on p. 97). The same article was republished later as a chapter in her 1900 book &quot;Barnets Århundrade&quot;. Here is the quote in Swedish ([https://archive.org/stream/barnetsrhundrade02ellenkey#page/n167/mode/2up p. 160]): Men bildning är lyckligtvis icke blott kunskap om fakta, utan enligt en ypperlig paradox: »det, som är kvar, sedan vi glömt allt, vad vi lärt». Here it is from the 1909 English translation of the book ([https://archive.org/stream/centurychild00frangoog#page/n246/mode/2up p. 231]): &quot;But education happily is not simply the knowledge of facts, it is, as an admirable paradox has put it, what is left over after we have forgotten all we have learnt.&quot; From the way Ellen Key puts it, she doesn't take credit for the saying, but rather refers to it as an already known &quot;paradox&quot; that she explicitly puts between quotation marks.

* If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live. No more bees, no more pollination ... no more men!
** A variant — &quot;Professor Einstein, the learned scientist, once calculated that if all bees disappeared off the earth, four years later all humans would also have disappeared&quot; — appears in ''The Irish Beekeeper'', v.19-20, 1965-66, p74, citing ''Abeilles et Fleurs'' (''Bees and Flowers'', the house magazine of Union Nationale de l'Apiculture Française) for June 1965. Snopes.com mentions its use in a beekeepers' protest in 1994 in Europe [http://www.snopes.com/quotes/einstein/bees.asp] suggesting invention and attribution to Einstein for political reasons.

* The most important decision we can make is whether this is a friendly or hostile universe. From that one decision all others spring.
** Multiple variations of this quote can be found, but the earliest one on Google Books which uses the phrase &quot;friendly or hostile&quot; and attributes it to Einstein is ''The Complete Idiot's Guide to Spiritual Healing'' by Susan Gregg (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=XLQ8X67PozAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5], and this book gives no source for the quote.
**A variant is found in Irving Oyle's ''The New American Medicine Show'' (1979) on p. 163, where Oyle writes: 'There is a story about Albert Einstein's view of human existence. Asked to pose the most vital question facing humanity, he replied, &quot;Is the universe friendly?&quot;' This variant is repeated in a number of books from the 1980s and 90s, so it probably pre-dates the &quot;friendly or hostile&quot; version. And the idea that the most important question we can ask is &quot;Is the universe friendly?&quot; dates back much earlier than the attribution to Einstein, for example in Emil Carl Wilm's 1912 book ''The Problem of Religion'' he includes the following footnote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=nWYiAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA114#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 114]: 'A friend proposed to the late [[Frederic William Henry Myers|F. W. H. Myers]] the following question: &quot;What is the thing which above all others you would like to know? If you could ask the Sphinx one question, and only one, what would the question be?&quot; After a moment's silence Myers replied: &quot;I think it would be this: Is the universe friendly?&quot;'

* The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
** Variously attributed also to [[Benjamin Franklin]] and [[Mark Twain]]. The earliest known occurrence, and probable origin, is from a 1981 text from [[Narcotics Anonymous]]: &quot;Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.&quot; Cf. [[Rita Mae Brown#Misattributed]].

* Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
** It seems that this quote has only begun to be attributed to Einstein recently, the earliest published source located being the 2008 book ''Visualization for Dummies'' by Bernard Golden, [http://books.google.com/books?id=2ppZkdmpSlgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA85#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 85]. Before that it was often attributed to the physicist [[John Archibald Wheeler|John Wheeler]], who quoted the saying in ''Complexity, Entropy, and the Physics of Information'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=mdjsOeTgatsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA10#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 10]. In fact, this quip is much older; the earliest source located is [[w:Ray Cummings|Ray Cummings]]' 1921 short story &quot;The Time Professor&quot;, which [https://books.google.com/books?id=sXpDAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA371#v=onepage&amp;q=%22time%20is%20what%20keeps%20everything%20from%20happening%20at%20once%22&amp;f=false includes the passage]:  '&quot;I ''do'' know what time is,&quot; Tubby declared.  He paused.  &quot;Time,&quot; he added slowly -- &quot;time is what keeps everything from happening at once ...&quot;.'  Cummings repeated the quote in his 1922 science fiction novel ''The Girl in the Golden Atom'', available on Project Gutenberg [http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/21094 here] (according to ''Science-Fiction: The Early Years'' by Everett F. Bleiler, [http://books.google.com/books?id=KEZxhkG5eikC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA171#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 171], the novel was a composite of two earlier stories published in 1919 and 1920). [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/21094/21094-h/21094-h.htm#CHAPTER_V Chapter V] contains the following paragraph: ''The Big Business Man smiled. &quot;Time,&quot; he said, &quot;is what keeps everything from happening at once.&quot;'' The next-earliest source found for this quote is another book by Ray Cummings, [http://books.google.com/books?id=YdZEAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22everything+from+happening+at+once%22#search_anchor ''The Man Who Mastered Time''] from 1929, and no published examples of the quote from authors other than Cummings can be found until the 1962 ''Film Facts: Volume 5'' where it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=sr0vAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22everything+from+happening+at+once%22#search_anchor p. 48]. So, it seems likely that Ray Cummings is the real originator of this saying.

* Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
** From William Bruce Cameron's ''Informal Sociology: A Casual Introduction to Sociological Thinking'' (1963), p. 13. The comment is part of a longer paragraph and does not appear in quotations in Cameron's book, and [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;q=%22not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22%20cameron&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;tbo=u&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;source=og&amp;sa=N&amp;tab=wp other sources] such as [http://books.google.com/books?id=KMsB1GE8dBEC&amp;lpg=PA92&amp;dq=%22Not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22&amp;pg=PA92#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22&amp;f=false The Student's Companion to Sociology (p. 92)] attribute the quote to Cameron. A [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;tbo=p&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;q=%22not+everything+that+can+be+counted%22+einstein+princeton&amp;start=0&amp;sa=N number of recent books] claim that Einstein had a sign with these words in his office in Princeton, but until a reliable historical source can be found to support this, skepticism is warranted. The earliest source on Google Books that mentions the quote in association with Einstein and Princeton is Charles A. Garfield's 1986 book ''Peak Performers: The New Heroes of American Business,'' in which he wrote on p. 156:
**: Albert Einstein liked to underscore the micro/macro partnership with a remark from Sir George Pickering that he chalked on the blackboard in his office at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton: &quot;Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.&quot;

* If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.
** According to ''The Quote Verifier'' (2006) by Ralph Keyes, Einstein never said any such thing. (According to p. 285 of the book's &quot;source notes&quot; Keyes checked ''New Statesman'' 16 April 1965, which is commonly cited as the source of this quote. Some other books claim it is from ''New Statesman'' 16 April 1955 and at least one has it as 1945, but a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?num=10&amp;q=einstein+watchmaker+%22new+statesman%22 Google Books search] with the date range restricted to 1900-1995 shows that all the earliest sources give it as 1965. This includes the earliest source located, ''The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Quotations'' from 1971, as can be verified by [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22of+his+making+the+atom+bomb+possible.+quoted+in+new+statesman%2C+16+april+1965%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this search].) Keyes notes that Einstein &quot;did use similar words to make a very different point&quot; when he wrote, in a 1954 letter to the editor at ''The Reporter'' magazine, &quot;If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.&quot;
** Similarly, in ''Einstein and the Poet'' by William Hermanns, [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA86#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 86], Einstein is quoted saying the following in a 1948 interview: &quot;If I should be born again, I will become a cobbler and do my thinking in peace.&quot;

* If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
** The earliest published attribution of this quote to Einstein found on Google Books is the 1991 book ''The Art of Computer Systems Performance Analysis'' by Raj Jain (p. 507), but no source to Einstein's original writings is given and the quote itself is older; for example ''New Guard: Volume 5, Issue 3'' from 1961 says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=5BbZAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22fit+the+theory%22#search_anchor p. 312] &quot;Someone once said that if the facts do not fit the theory, then the facts must be changed&quot;, while ''Product engineering: Volume 29, Issues 9-12'' from 1958 gives the slight variant on p. 9 &quot;There is an age-old adage, 'If the facts don't fit the theory, change the theory.' But too often it's easier to keep the theory and change the facts.&quot; These quotes are themselves probably variants of an even earlier saying which used the phrasing &quot;so much the worse for the facts&quot;, many examples of which can be seen in [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=facts+fit+%22so+much+the+worse+for+the+facts%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201950&amp;num=10 this search]; for example, the 1851 ''American Whig Review, Volumes 13-14'' says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=910CAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA488#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 488] &quot;However, Mr. Newhall may possibly have been of that casuist's opinion, who, when told that the facts of the matter did not bear out his hypothesis, said 'So much the worse for the facts.'&quot; The German idealist philosopher Johann Gottlieb Fichte circa 1800 did say &quot;If theory conflicts with the facts, so much the worse for the facts.&quot; The Hungarian Marxist Georg Lukacs in his &quot;Tactics and Ethics&quot; (1923) echoed the same quotation.

* The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
** Commonly quoted on the internet, and also in recent books such as ''Planetary Survival Manual'' by Matthew Stein (2000), p. 51.
** Stein's book is the earliest published source located with that precise version of the quote, but the quote can be found in earlier [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] posts such as [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.ascii/msg/d9f6ec3887950a0d?hl=en this one from 1995], and other published variants of the quote using the words &quot;sacred gift&quot; can be found earlier. A [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22sacred+gift%22+einstein Google Books search] with the date range restricted to 1900-1990 shows only a handful in the 1980s and 1970s, and several of them attribute it to ''The Metaphoric Mind'' by Bob Samples (1976), which also seems to be the earliest published variant. Samples does not provide an exact quote, but writes on p. 26: &quot;Albert Einstein called the intuitive or metaphoric mind a sacred gift. He added that the rational mind was a faithful servant. It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine.&quot; It seems as if the last sentence about worshipping the servant is just Samples' own comment (though in later variants it became part of the supposed quote), while the earlier sentences only paraphrase something that Samples claims Einstein to have said. Einstein had many quotes about the value of intuition and imagination, but the specific word &quot;gift&quot; can be found in a comment remembered by János Plesch in the section [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications|Attributed in posthumous publications]], &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.&quot; So, Bob Samples might have been paraphrasing that comment. Likewise Einstein had a number of quotes about the intellect being secondary to intuition, but the language of the intellect &quot;serving&quot; can be found in a quote from the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years (1950)]] section, &quot;And certainly we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader.&quot;

* Nuclear power is a hell of a way to boil water.
** Commonly quoted on the internet, this quote is actually from Karl Grossman, via his 1980 book ''Cover Up: What You are Not Supposed to Know About Nuclear Power'' (p. 155; freely available online via its [http://www.thepermanentpress.com/p-354-cover-up.aspx publisher]; see PDF page 187).

* If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
** Variant: If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind then what are we to think of an empty desk?
** Variant: If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
** Attributed to Dr. [[Laurence J. Peter]]. Earliest source is [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL7725710M/Peter's_Quotations &quot;Peter's Quotations,&quot; page 333.]

* Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. 
** According to Barbara Wolff, of The Hebrew University's Albert Einstein Archives, this is not one of Einstein's identifiable quotations. (Source: [http://www.paralegalpie.com/paralegalpie/2009/11/did-anybody-really-say-that.html paralegalpie.com].)
** The phrase &quot;the only source of knowledge is experience&quot; is found in an English-language essay from 1896:  &quot;We can only be guided by what we know, and our only source of knowledge is experience&quot; (Arthur J. Pillsbury, [https://books.google.com/books?id=Mw9IAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA595&amp;dq=%22only+source&quot; &quot;The Final Word&quot;], ''Overland Monthly'', November 1896).  The thought can be seen as a paraphrase of John Locke's argument from his ''Essay Concerning Human Understanding'':  &quot;Whence has it [the Mind] all the materials of Reason and Knowledge?  To this I answer, in one Word, From ''Experience''&quot;. (Locke, [[s:An Essay Concerning Human Understanding/Book II/Chapter I|An Essay Concerning Human Understanding/Book II/Chapter I, 2]].)
** The phrase &quot;information is not knowledge&quot; is also found from the [https://books.google.com/books?id=W2oAAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA59&amp;dq=%22information+is+not+knowledge%22 nineteenth century].

* Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
** As Quote Investigator explains, allegories about animals doing impossible things have been incredibly popular in the past century. But no, this one isn't from Einstein. (Source: [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/04/06/fish-climb/].)

* Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.
** There's no evidence that Einstein ever said this. (Source: [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/16/everything-energy/].)

* International law exists only in textbooks on international law.
** The anthropologist Ashley Montagu said it in an interview with Einstein. (Source: [http://www.cooperativeindividualism.org/montagu-ashley_conversations-with-albert-einstein-1985.html].)

* Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves
** Found [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/31/kiss anonymously in newspaper columns from the early 1920s].  [https://www.newspapers.com/clip/5219841/safety_first/ Originally presented in dialogue format]:  &quot;Dorcas—&quot;Do you ever allow a man to kiss you when you're out motoring with him?   Philippa—&quot;Never, if a man can drive safely while kissing me he's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot;
**  It does not seem to have been attributed to Einstein until the 1990s (e.g. [https://groups.google.com/forum/message/raw?msg=alt.freemasonry/YILn0A-U_WM/f1Grm2akU-4J here]).

* You can recognize a really good idea by the fact that its implementation seems impossible in the first place.
** Google shows that the internet often attributes this statement to Einstein, but never with a source.  It does not occur in any book in Google Books.

* You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
** An abbreviated version of a quote by California politician [[w:Dianne Feinstein|Dianne Feinstein]], from an [https://books.google.com/books?id=zmxNAQAAIAAJ&amp;dq=You+have+to+learn+the+rules+of+the+game+and+then+you+have+to+play+better+than+anyone+else&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22rules+of+the+game%22 interview with ''Cosmopolitan'' magazine in October 1985], on the topic of women running for public office.  The original was: &quot;... I really do have staying power.  That's important for women who run for office.  When you get in there and push for a lot of new things all at once and don't get them, you don't just leave.  You have to commit, be a team player, learn the rules of the game.  And then you have to play it better than anyone else.&quot;

* Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.
** The original: &quot;Example is not the main thing. It is the only thing. That is, if the one giving the example is not saying to himself, 'Behold I am giving an example.&quot; That spoils it. Anyone thinking of the example he will give to others has lost his simplicity.  Only as a man has simplicity can his example influence others&quot; is a quote by Albert ''Schweitzer'', from [https://books.google.com/books?id=qTAoAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22&amp;dq=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjz7f_2v6vMAhUJxmMKHeEAB-QQ6AEIHDAA a 1952 interview in ''United Nations World'' magazine].  Not attributed to Einstein [https://books.google.com/books?id=JdRZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22+einstein&amp;dq=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22+einstein&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwif56qcwqvMAhXGMGMKHST5DRIQ6AEIHTAA until the 1990s].

*Anti-Semitism is nothing but the antagonistic attitude produced in the non-Jew by the Jewish group. The Jewish group has thrived on oppression and on the antagonism it has forever met in the world. The root cause is their use of enemies they create in order to keep solidarity.
**debunked in 2014

*Two vördz: ze smart meterz
**Quote from [https://www.smartenergygb.org/ a deepfaked video of Albert Einstein in a British advert for electricity meters]

*Shopping wìz ze hwoman!
**Imaginary quote from [https://www.smartenergygb.org/ a deepfaked photograph of Albert Einstein in a British advert for electricity meters]
{{Misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Einstein==
[[File:Albert Einstein DC.JPG|thumb|I was particularly won over by his sweet disposition, by his general [[kindness]], by his [[simplicity]], and by his [[friendliness]]. ~ [[Louis de Broglie]]]]
[[File:Javad alizadeh joking-on--amazing-formula.jpg|thumb|I like [[quoting]] Einstein. Know why? Because nobody [[dares]] contradict you. ~ [[Studs Terkel]]]]
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author&lt;/small&gt;

* These days it is common knowledge that '''short waves are more powerful than long ones''', as the very short ones, known as x-rays, damage living tissues. It took half-a-century to learn this fact: '''it was one of the great discoveries of young Albert Einstein of 1905. When he announced it leading researchers found it most incredible'''... 
** [[w:Joseph Agassi|Joseph Agassi]], ''Radiation Theory and the Quantum Revolution'' (1993)

* ...do not be impressed by the imprint of a famous publishing house or the volumes of an author's publications. Bear in mind that [[Einstein]] needed only seventeen pages for his contribution which revolutionized physics, while there are [[w:Graphomania|graphomanics]] in asylums who use up mounds of paper every day. 
** [[Stanislav Andreski]], ''The Social Sciences as Sorcery'' (1972, London: Deutsch), p 86

* The astonishing thing about Einstein's equations is that they appear to have come out of nothing.
** [[Ernest Barnes]], as quoted by [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* '''I was particularly won over by his sweet disposition, by his general kindness, by his [[simplicity]], and by his friendliness.''' Occasionally, gaiety would gain the upper hand and he would strike a more personal note and even disclose some detail of his day-to-day life. Then again, reverting to his characteristic mood of reflection and meditation, he would launch into a profound and original discussion of a variety of scientific and other problems. I shall always remember the enchantment of all those meetings, from which I carried away an indelible impression of Einstein's great human qualities.
** [[Louis de Broglie]], ''New Perspectives in Physics'', p. 182

* It is almost impertinent to talk of the ascent of man in the presence of two men, Newton and Einstein, who stride like gods. Of the two, Newton is the Old Testament god; it is Einstein who is the New Testament figure. He was full of humanity, pity, a sense of enormous sympathy. His vision of nature herself was that of a human being in the presence of something god-like, and that is what he always said about nature. He was fond of talking about God: 'God does not play at dice', 'God is not malicious'. Finally Niels Bohr one day said to him, 'Stop telling God what to do'. But that is not quite fair. Einstein was a man who could ask immensely simple questions. And what his life showed, and his work, is that when the answers are simple too, then you hear God thinking.
** Jacob Bronowski, ''The Ascent of Man'' (1974), Ch. 7: The Majestic Clockwork

* '''Like many other [[great]] [[scientists]] he does not fit the boxes in which popular polemicists like to pigeonhole him.''' ... It is clear for example that he had respect for the religious values enshrined within [[Judaic]] and [[Christian]] traditions ... but what he understood by religion was something far more subtle than what is usually meant by the word in popular discussion.
** [http://users.ox.ac.uk/~theo0038/biogbrooke.html John Brooke], as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (13 May 2008)]

* Some people have reported that Einstein was quite a good musician, but others weren't so enthusiastic. A professional violinist claimed he &quot;fiddled like a lumberjack&quot;; a famous pianist playing with him demanded, &quot;For heaven's sake Albert, can't you count?&quot;; and a music critic in Berlin, thinking Einstein was famous for his violin playing rather than physics, judged that &quot;Einstein's playing is excellent, but he does not deserve world fame; there are many others just as good.&quot;
** Alice Calaprice &amp; Trevor Lipscombe, ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' (2005)

* A niece of Einstein's, in India during the 1960s, paid a special visit to the headquarters of the [[w:Theosophical Society at Adyar|Theosophical Society at Adyar]]. She explained that she knew nothing of theosophy or the society, but had to see the place because her uncle always had a copy of [[H. P. Blavatsky|Madame Blavatsky]]'s [[Secret Doctrine]] on his desk. The individual to whom the niece spoke was [https://theosophy.wiki/en/Eunice_Layton Eunice Layton], a world-traveled theosophical lecturer who happened to be at the reception desk when she arrived.
**''HPB - The Extraordinary Life and Influence of Helena Blavatsky, Founder of the Modern Theosophical Movement'', Sylvia Cranston, (1994), p. 557-558.

*Einstein, Albert (2.2) 2 2 4 2 3 (his point in evolution &amp;  rays)  
**[[Benjamin Creme]] in  The List of [[Initiation (theosophy)|Initiates]], Their rays and stage of evolution, as published in ''Maitreya’s Mission Volumes One, Two and Three'', as well as those published in ''Share International'' between April 1997 and August 2014.

* To-day, thanks to Einstein, we have definite reasons for believing that ultra-precise observation of nature has revealed our natural geometry arrived at with solids and light rays to be slightly non-Euclidean and to vary from place to place. So although the non-Euclidean geometers never suspected it (with the exception of [[Carl Friedrich Gauss|Gauss]], [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] and [[William Kingdon Clifford|Clifford]]), our real world happens to be one of the dream-worlds whose possible existence their mathematical genius forsaw.
** A. D'Abro, ''[https://archive.org/details/TheEvolutionOfScientificThought The Evolution of Scientific Thought from Newton to Einstein]'' (1927) p. 37

* His considered answer to what God was doing before creating the universe was &quot;the world was made with time and not in time.&quot; [[Augustine of Hippo|Augustine's]] God is a being who transcends time, a being located outside time altogether and responsible for creating time as well as space and matter. ...[[Plato]] said much the same thing hundreds of years earlier. ...The history of philosophy is so rich and diverse that it would be astonishing if theories emerging from science hadn't been foreshadowed in some vague way by somebody. The significant thing about Einstein's work is that he showed in a precise, testable way, using detailed mathematical theory, how space and time are ''part'' of nature, and not merely a given arena in which the great drama of nature is acted out.
** [[w:Paul Davies|Paul Davies]], ''Cosmic Jackpot: Why Our Universe is Just Right for Life'' (2007)

* [[Richard Feynman|Dick]] fought back against my skepticism, arguing that Einstein had failed because he stopped thinking in concrete physical images and became a manipulator of equations. I had to admit that was true. The great discoveries of Einstein's earlier years were all based on direct physical intuition. Einstein's later unified theories failed because they were only sets of equations without physical meaning. Dick's sum-over-histories theory was in the spirit of the young Einstein, not of the old Einstein. It was solidly rooted in physical reality.
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''Disturbing the Universe'' (1979), p. 62.

* There is no such thing as a simple material universe. The old vision which Einstein maintained until the end of his life, of an objective world of space and time and matter independent of human thought and observation, is no longer ours. Einstein hoped to find a universe possessing... &quot;objective reality,&quot; a universe of mountaintops which he could comprehend by means of a finite set of equations. Nature, it turns out, lives not on the mountaintops but in the valleys.
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''[[w:Infinite in All Directions|Infinite in All Directions]]: Gifford Lectures given at Aberdeen, Scotland April-November 1985'' (1988) p. 7 (paperback, 1989).

* '''Like [[David Hilbert|Hilbert]], Einstein did his great work up to the age of forty without any reductionist bias.''' His crowning achievement, the general relativistic theory of gravitation, grew out of a deep physical understanding of natural processes. '''Only at the very end of his ten-year struggle to understand gravitation did he reduce the outcome of his understanding to a finite set of field equations.''' But like Hilbert, as he grew older he concentrated his attention more and more on the formal properties of [[w:Einstein field equations|his equations]], and he lost interest in the wider universe of ideas out of which his equations arose. His last twenty years were spent in a fruitless search for a set of equations that would unify the whole of physics, without paying attention to the rapidly proliferating experimental discoveries that any unified theory would have to explain. I do not have to say more about... '''Einstein's lonely attempt to reduce physics to a finite set of marks on paper'''. His attempt '''failed as dismally as Hilbert's attempt to do the same thing in mathematics.'''
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''The Scientist As Rebel'' (2006)

* Einstein was not a mathematician, but a physicist who had mixed feelings about mathematics. ...[H]e had enormous respect for the power of mathematics to describe the workings of nature, and he had an instinct for mathematical beauty ...On the other hand, he had no interest in pure mathematics, and he had no technical skill as a mathematician. In his later years he hired younger colleagues... assistants to do mathematical calculations for him. His way of thinking was physical rather than mathematical. He was supreme among physicists as a bird who saw further than others.
** Freeman Dyson, &quot;Birds and Frogs&quot; (Oct. 4, 2008) [[w:American Mathematical Society|AMS]] Einstein Public Lecture in Mathematics, as published in ''Notices of the AMS'', (Feb, 2009). Also published in ''The Best Writing on Mathematics: 2010'' (2011) p. 57.

* Einstein in real life was not only a great politician and a great philosopher. He was also a great observer of the human comedy, with a robust sense of humor. The third side of Einstein's personality is not emphasized by [Steven] Gimbel, but was an important cause of his immense popularity. He came as an observer to my boarding school in England in 1931, a few years before I arrived there. He was in England as the guest of Frederick Lindemann, an Oxford physicist who was also a friend and adviser to Winston Churchill.&lt;br&gt;Lindemann took him to the school to meet one of the boys who was a family friend. The boy was living in Second Chamber, in an ancient building where the walls are ornamented with marble memorials to boys who occupied the rooms in past centuries. Einstein and Lindemann wandered by mistake into the adjoining First Chamber, which had been converted from a living room to a bathroom. In First Chamber, the marble memorials were preserved, but underneath them on the walls were hooks where boys had hung their smelly football clothes. Einstein surveyed the scene for a while in silence, and then said: &quot;Now I understand: the spirits of the departed pass over into the trousers of the living.&quot;
** [[Freeman Dyson]], &quot;Einstein as a Jew and a Philosopher&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (May 7, 2015)

* The longitude race was reborn in a twentieth-century version, as optimistic inventors designed devices to synchronize timepieces all over the world. Aiming to protect the fortunes they envisaged reaping, they applied for patents in Switzerland, center of the clock-making trade. And many of their designs landed on the desk of a philosophical physicist who was originally more interested in thermodynamics than in time—Patent Officer Albert Einstein.
** [[w:Patricia Fara|Patricia Fara]], Science ''A Four Thousand Year History'' (2009)

* I reflected with pleasure on my conversations with the late Hungarian theoretician Nandor Balazs, one of Einstein's last assistants. Balazs did not try to hide Einstein's foibles - including his impatience with pestering journalists and autograph-hunters, his selfish pursuit of what would now be called &quot;his own space&quot; - but he stressed that Einstein was a man of exceptional kindness and generosity. So was he a saint?, I asked Balazs. &quot;No,&quot; he replied firmly. &quot;He was better than that - he was human.&quot;
** [[w:Graham Farmelo|Graham Farmelo]], &quot;[https://www.timeshighereducation.com/books/bright-life-clouded-by-dark-matter/403652.article Bright life clouded by dark matter]&quot; (September 25, 2008)

* We postulate: It shall be impossible, by any experiment whatsoever performed inside such a box, to detect a difference between an acceleration relative to the nebulae and gravity. That is, an accelerating box in some gravitational field is indistinguishable from a stationary box in some different gravitational field. How much like Einstein this sounds, how reminiscent of his postulate of special relativity! We know the principle of equivalence works for springs, (as we knew special relativity worked for electrodynamics), and we extend it by fiat to all experiments whatsoever. We are used to such procedures by now, but how originally brilliant it was in 1911—what a brilliant, marvelous man Einstein was!
** [[Richard Feynman]], 1962-63, in ''Feynman Lectures on Gravitation'' (1995), Lecture 7

* Einstein, who thought that he had a unified theory just around the corner, but didn't know anything about nuclei and was unable of course to guess it.
** [[Richard Feynman]], interview published in ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1988) edited by Paul C. W. Davies and Julian R. Brown

* '''Einstein was a giant. His head was in the [[clouds]], but his feet were on the ground. Those of us who are not so tall have to [[choose]]!'''
** [[Richard Feynman]], as quoted in ''Collective Electrodynamics : Quantum Foundations of Electromagnetism'' (2002) by Carver A. Mead, p. xix

* From 1916 Einstein and [[Willem de Sitter|de Sitter]] corresponded extensively on exactly what kind of universe best fit the relativity equations. De Sitter initially developed a model of a spherical universe, in contrast to the cylindrical one Einstein had envisioned. De Sitter also tried to map out the shape of the spherical universe in absence of all matter. '''Einstein's reaction to de Sitter's model was strong and negative'''...de Sitter's sphere described a universe that changed in size instead of remaining nicely constant. ...Einstein saw matter—and its corresponding gravitational field—as what inherently created the shape of the universe. He cited what he dubbed &quot;[[w:Mach's principle|Mach's principle]],&quot;...the movements of any object ...were determined by all other bodies in the universe. ...how a body moves through space is tantamount to what shape space is, '''the concept of &quot;shape&quot; without matter''', Einstein insisted, '''was meaningless.'''
** Karen C. Fox, Aries Keck, ''Einstein A to Z'' (2004)

* Einstein joked to his dear friend Max Born that he had a version of the Midas touch: everything he said turned to newsprint. Einstein's science made him a worldwide celebrity, a status others might have enjoyed, but which Einstein despised. He was no shrinking violet, yet he detested the shallowness and meaningless absurdity that came with his universal adoration. But he realised that it could be handy. He was given a cultural megaphone and he decided that its best use was to amplify the concerns of those whose voices were least heard.
** Steven Gimbel, &quot;[http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/12/five-reasons-we-should-celebrate-albert-einstein Five reasons we should celebrate Albert Einstein]&quot;  (12 June 2015)

* Here is a man who changed the way the way we see reality, who stared down hatred and stood up for justice, yet despite all of this, the thing we immediately think of is that mane of unkempt, wild white hair. That may seem shallow of us, but I think it is a good thing. What does Einstein's hair signify? It was a political statement – he refused to conform to social standards of personal appearance. He was unapologetic in his individuality and unashamed of being different.
** Steven Gimbel, &quot;[http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/12/five-reasons-we-should-celebrate-albert-einstein Five reasons we should celebrate Albert Einstein]&quot;  (12 June 2015)

* The assignment we were given for this article was to describe the impact of Einstein's work on 20th-century physics. This formulation of our task is somewhat problematic given that a sizeable fraction of 20th-century physics is Einstein's work and most of the rest is more or less directly connected to it. Hence Einstein's impact definitely cannot be treated perturbatively. In fact, it would have been much easier to write about those developments of 20th-century physics that were not connected to the work of Einstein. But who would want to read or write that?
** Domenico Giulini and Norbert Straumann, &quot;Einstein's impact on the physics of the twentieth century&quot;, ''Studies in History and Philosophy of Modern Physics'' 37 (2006)

* I always like to remember that Einstein, in his last three decades of life, followed [[w:Unified field theory|this dream]] and seemed to be completely unaware of the exciting developments that were happening in nuclear physics during this time.
** [[w:Sheldon Lee Glashow|Sheldon Glashow]], interview published in ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1988) edited by Paul C. W. Davies and Julian R. Brown

* In the [[w:Brownian motion#Einstein's theory|Brownian motion paper]], Einstein... calculations involved the relationship between [[w:Osmotic pressure|osmotic pressure]], viscosity, and the way individual particles suspended in the liquid diffuse... He realized that the kick produced by a single molecule hitting a particle as large as a pollen grain could not produce a measurable shift... But the large particle is constantly being bombarded... if you take a very small time interval, then just by chance at that instant the particle will be receiving more kicks on one side. The combined effect will shift the particle by a minute amount... Einstein discovered that it gradually moved farther from its starting point... as a [[w:Random walk|random walk]]. He showed the distance ... depends on the square root of the time... This is called &quot;root mean square&quot; displacement and the equation Einstein worked out for displacement involves the temperature of the liquid, its viscosity, the radius of the particle and [[w:Avogadro constant|Avogadro's number]]. ...He also realized that if the predicted displacement could be measured... the same equation... could be used to give a value of Avogadro's number. ...It was extremely difficult to make the observations... but in 1908... [[w:Jean Baptiste Perrin|Jean-Baptiste Perrin]] finally succeeded. ...Perrin's results exactly matched the predictions from Einstein's theory. ...The whole package finally established the reality of atoms and molecules, and the validity of the [[w:Kinetic theory of gases|kinetic theory]]...
** [[w:John Gribbin|John Gribbin]] and Mary Gribbin, ''Annus Mirabilis: 1905, Albert Einstein, and the Theory of Relativity'' (2005)

* '''He used to say the left-hand side of [[w:Einstein field equations|his equation]] is beautiful and the right-hand side is ugly. Much of what he was doing in the latter part of his career was trying to move the right-hand side to the left... and understand matter as a geometrical structure.''' To build matter itself from geometry—that in a sense is what [[w:String theory|string theory]] does. ...especially in a theory like the [[w:Heterotic string theory|heterotic string]] which is inherently a theory of gravity in which the particles of matter as well as the other forces of nature emerge in the same way that gravity emerges from geometry. Einstein would have been pleased with this, at least with the goal, if not the realization.
** &quot;[[w:David Gross|David Gross]]&quot; interview, ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1992) ed. P.C.W. Davies, Julian Brown

* Einstein was a superb epigramist, who could capture in a single sentence many deep thoughts.
** David Gross, [https://books.google.com/books?id=rEaUIxukvy4C&amp;pg=PA1 &quot;Einstein and the Search for Unification&quot;], p. 1, in ''The legacy of Albert Einstein: a collection of essays in celebration of the year of physics'' (2007)

* '''Einstein was confused, not the [[Quantum mechanics|quantum theory]].'''
** [[Stephen Hawking]], Lecture at the Amsterdam Symposium on Gravity, Black Holes, and String Theory (June 21, 1997)

* '''The man who was best known for his legendary struggle with the most inaccessible and recondite theories... was—and to this day remains—one of the most readable and widely read scientists.'''
** {{w|Gerald Holton}}, ''The Advancement of Science, and its Burdens'' (1986) p. 29.

* Einstein's greatest legacy is not [[General relativity|General Relativity]], it's not [[quantum entanglement]], and it's not slices of his brain either. It's a word: Gedankenexperiment – German for &quot;thought experiment&quot;. 
** Sabine Hossenfelder, &quot;[http://backreaction.blogspot.kr/2014/10/einsteins-greatest-legacy-how-demons.html Einstein's greatest legacy- How demons and angels advanced science]&quot; (October 27, 2014)

* If light takes the path with the least time between two points, and light beams bend under the influence of gravity, then the shortest distance between two points is a curved line. Einstein was shocked by this conclusion: If light could be observed traveling in a curved line, it would mean that ''space itself is curved''.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* Einstein independently discovered [[w:Bernhard Riemann|Riemann's]] original program, to give a purely geometric explanation to the concept of &quot;force.&quot; ...To Riemann, the bending and warping of space causes the appearance of a force. Thus forces do not really exist; what is actually happening is that space itself is being bent out of shape. The problem with Riemann's approach... was that he had no idea specifically how gravity or electricity and magnetism caused the warping of space. ...Here Einstein succeeded where Riemann failed.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* Einstein showed that the [[w:Luminiferous aether|aether]] was unnecessary. However, he never said that the aether didn't exist. He merely said it was irrelevant. Thus, by [[w:Occam's razor|Occam's razor]], physicists don't refer to the aether any more.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* He discovered a host of other basic results in theoretical physics and it has been pointed out more than once that if somebody asked: &quot;Who is the greatest modern physicist after Einstein?&quot; the answer would be: Einstein again. And why? Because, although the theory of relativity in itself would have established his fame forever, had somebody else discovered relativity, his other discoveries would still make him the second greatest physicist of his time.
** Cornelius Lanczos, ''Albert Einstein and the Cosmic World Order'' (1965)

* The '''mathematical genius can only carry on from the point''' which mathematical knowledge within '''his culture has''' already '''reached'''. Thus if Einstein had been born into a primitive tribe which was unable to count beyond three, life-long application to mathematics probably would not have carried him beyond the development of a decimal system based on fingers and toes.
** [[w:Ralph Linton|Ralph Linton]], ''The Study of Man'' (1936)

* Einstein's supreme greatness was in transforming physical thinking from that of the culmination of classical physics about 1900 to that of quantum mechanics starting about 1925. ...'''far more than anyone else, he caused physicists to think in terms of probabilities. He began to do this in his early work in thermodynamics, and he brought such thinking to its first great fruition in 1905 in his work on [[w:Brownian motion|Brownian movement]] and in his first work on radiation, in which he introduced the concept of light quanta or photons.''' Its second, even greater fruition was in his famous paper on the quantum theory of radiation in 1917.&lt;br /&gt;That paper illustrated methods that have been in use almost without change ever since, even though the majority of the users have no knowledge that it was Einstein who propounded them. It was in this paper that '''Einstein postulated the various transition possibilities between two states of a quantized system. ...quantum theory has existed ever since precisely for the purpose of evaluating these probabilities.''' In this paper of 1917 Einstein postulated in particular the process known as [[w:Stimulated emission|stimulated emission]], and inferred the properties of this process. This is the process employed in the... light [[w:Maser|maser]] or [[w:Laser|laser]].
** [[w:William McCrea (astronomer)|W. H. McCrea]], as quoted by [[w:Gerald James Whitrow|G. J. Whitrow]], ''Einstein, the Man and His Achievement'' (1973)

* There once was a doctor with cool white hair. He was well known because he came up with some important ideas. He didn't grow the cool hair until after he was done figuring that stuff out, but by the time everyone realized how good his ideas were, he had grown the hair, so that's how everyone pictures him. He was so good at coming up with ideas that we use his name to mean &quot;someone who's good at thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Two of his biggest ideas were about how space and time work. This thing you're reading right now explains those ideas using only the ten hundred words people use the most often. The doctor figured out the first idea while he was working in an office, and he figured out the second one ten years later, while he was working at a school. That second idea was a hundred years ago this year. (He also had a few other ideas that were just as important. People have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how he was so good at thinking.)
** Randall Munroe, &quot;[http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/the-space-doctors-big-idea-einstein-general-relativity?mbid=rss The Space Doctor's Big Idea]&quot; (Nov 18, 2015)

*[[Einstein]] is also, and I think rightly, known as a man of very great goodwill and [[humanity]]. Indeed if I had to think of a single word for his attitude towards human problems, I would pick the Sanskrit word [[Ahimsa]], not to hurt, harmlessness. 
**[[Robert Oppenheimer]] in: ''[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/1966/mar/17/on-albert-einstein/On Albert Einstein],'' The New York Review of Books.

* '''Under [[w:Marcel Grossmann|Grossman's]] guidance, Einstein studied and learned [[w:Tensor|tensor]] analysis. The two men actually published several papers together''', but the work at this stage was still a kind of groping in the dark—a mind-tormenting search for the one equation out of hundreds that was the correct one. ...Interestingly, '''the correct equation was actually considered briefly, but rejected''' by Einstein because he came to the mistaken conclusion that it violated [[w:Causality|causality]]. Then a further mistake led to the abandonment of the [[w:Principle of covariance|principle of covariance]].
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986)

* Pondering about the problem, Einstein thought about the beam of light curving around the limb of the sun; he soon realized that it was not the beam that was bent, but rather the space through which it traveled. Matter must somehow curve space and other matter must move through this curved space in the way we see it move—yet this way must be &quot;natural.&quot; He decided the most natural way would be along a path that represented the shortest distance between two given points in space (this is called the [[w:Geodesic|geodesic]] in mathematics). This would mean that '''the sun curves the space around it and the planets move in this space along geodesics. These geodesics appear to us to be elliptical orbits, but in curved space they are actually straight lines.'''
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986)

* From a simple point of view, then, '''Einstein's equation can be written: [[w:Tensor|tensor]] A = tensor B''', where tensor A describes the curvature of space and tensor B describes the matter that causes the curvature. In practice, B can also contain terms describing an electromagnetic field since electromagnetic fields represent energy, and energy is just another form of mass. Einstein's dissatisfaction centered on tensor B.
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986) referring to the [[w:Einstein field equations|Einstein field equations]] of general relativity.

* Summing up, we may say that there is hardly one among the great problems, in which modern physics is so rich, to which Einstein has not made an important contribution. '''That he may sometimes have missed the target in his speculations, as, for example, in his [[w:Photoelectric effect|hypothesis of light quanta]], cannot really be held too much against him''', for it is not possible to introduce fundamentally new ideas, even in the most exact sciences, without occasionally taking risk.
** [[Max Planck]] (with [[w:Walther Nernst,|Walther Nernst,]] [[w:Heinrich Rubens|Heinrich Rubens]] and [[w:Emil Warburg|Emil Warburg]]), (1913) letter of recommendation for membership in the [[w:Prussian Academy of Sciences|Prussian Academy of Sciences]] (1913) ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'' (CPAE) Vol. 5, Doc. 445 (1993)

* I cannot really endorse [[Planck]]'s philosophy, even if it is [[logically]] valid and even though I respect the [[human]] [[attitudes]] to which it gives rise. &lt;br /&gt; '''[[Einstein]]'s conception is closer to mine. His [[God]] is somehow involved in the immutable [[laws]] of [[nature]]. '''Einstein has a feeling for the central order of things. He can detect it in the [[simplicity]] of natural laws. We may take it that he felt this simplicity very strongly and directly during his discovery of the theory of relativity. Admittedly, this is a far cry from the contents of religion. I don't believe Einstein is tied to any religious tradition, and '''I rather think the idea of a personal God is entirely foreign to him. But as far as he is concerned there is no split between science and religion: the central order is part of the subjective as well as the objective realm, and this strikes me as being a far better starting point.'''
**[[Wolfgang Pauli]], in statements after the [[w:Solvay Conference| Solvay Conference]] of 1927, as quoted in [http://www.edge.org/conversation/science-and-religion ''Physics and Beyond'' (1971)] by [[Werner Heisenberg]]

* '''Einstein did not consider the concept of 'determinism' to be as fundamental as it is frequently held to be''' (as he told me emphatically several times), and he denied energetically that he had ever put up a postulate such as (your letter, para. 3): 'the sequence of such conditions must also be objective and real, that is, automatic, machine-like, deterministic'. In the same way '''he ''disputes'' that he uses as criterion for the inadmissibility  of a theory the question: 'Is it rigorously deterministic?'&lt;BR /&gt;Einstein's point of departure is 'realistic' rather than 'deterministic,' which means that his philosophical prejudice is a different one'''...
**[[Wolfgang Pauli]], Letter to Max Born (March 31, 1954) as quoted by P.W. Milonni, ''Fast Light, Slow Light and Left-Handed Light'' (2004)

* '''I tried to persuade him to give up his determinism, which amounted to the view that the world was a four-dimensional Parmenidean block [[universe]] in which change was a human illusion, or very nearly so. (He agreed that this had been his view, and while discussing it I called him &quot;[[Parmenides]]&quot;.)''' I argued that if men, or other organisms, could experience change and genuine succession in time, then this was real. It could not be explained away by a theory of the successive rising into our consciousness of time slices which in some sense coexist; for this kind of &quot;rising into consciousness&quot; would have precisely the same character as that succession of changes which the theory tries to explain away. ... I tried to present to Einstein-Parmenides as strongly as I could my conviction that a clear stand must be made against any idealistic view of time. And I also tried to show that, though the idealistic view was compatible with both determinism and indeterminism, a clear stand should be made in favor of an &quot;open&quot; universe — one in which the future was in no sense contained in the past or the present, even though they do impose severe restrictions on it. I argued that we should not be swayed by our theories to give up realism (for which the strongest arguments were based on common sense), though I think that he was ready to admit, as I was, that we might be forced one day to give it up if very powerful arguments (of [[Gödel]]'s type, say) were to be brought against it. I therefore argued that with regard to time, and also to indeterminism (that is, the incompleteness of physics), the situation was precisely similar to the situation with regard to realism. Appealing to his own way of expressing things in theological terms, I said: if [[God]] had wanted to put everything into the world from the beginning, He would have created a universe without change, without organisms and evolution, and without man and man's experience of change. '''But He seems to have thought that a live universe with events unexpected even by Himself would be more interesting than a dead one.'''
** [[Karl Popper]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=CxND59gFftMC&amp;pg=PA148 ''Unended Quest: An Intellectual Autobiography'', p. 148]

* Einstein had a rare ability to recognize the core principles that account for the world we observe. His perceptions were never diverted by the many fascinating distractions that enshroud Nature's underlying reality. Common sense, often a source of comfort, can distract. Experimental data, always the ultimate authority, can distract. Einstein saw beyond common sense and, while he respected experimental data, he was not its slave. He saw Nature as it is.
** John S. Rigden, ''Einstein 1905 : The Standard of Greatness'' (2005), Prologue: The Standard of Greatness: Why Einstein?

* He belonged to more causes than I did. I must have received a letter from him every other day asking for money. I always responded.
** [[Edward G. Robinson]], as quoted in Leonard Spigelgass's epilogue to Robinson's ''All My Yesterdays: An Autobiography'' (1973), p.&amp;nbsp;279

* In the last twenty years of his life, Einstein's continued challenging of [[quantum theory]] was often dismissed as his being out of touch with modern physics. He was indeed wrong in denying the reality of the &quot;spooky action&quot; he discovered to lurk in quantum theory. Its existence, now called &quot;entanglement,&quot; has been demonstrated. Nevertheless, Einstein is today recognized as the theory's most prescient critic. His constant claim that the theory's weirdness must not be brushed aside is borne out by today's proliferation of wild interpretations of quantum theory.
** Bruce Rosenblum and Fred Kuttner, ''Quantum enigma : physics encounters consciousness'' (2nd ed., 2011), Ch. 1 : Einstein Called It &quot;Spooky&quot; And I Wish I Had Known

* Einstein asked himself a question... how can the sun and the Earth &quot;attract&quot; each other without touching..? ...[H]e imagined that the sun and the Earth each modified the space and time that surrounded them, just as a body in water displaces the water... This modification of the structure of time influences in turn the movement of the bodies, causing them to &quot;fall&quot; toward one another. ...The Earth is a large mass and slows down time in its vicinity. ...If things fall, it is due to this slowing of time. ...Where time passes uniformly, in interplanetary space, things do not fall. ...[H]ere on ...our planet, the movement of things inclines naturally toward where time passes more slowly, as when we run ...into the sea and the resistance of the water on our legs makes us fall headfirst... [T]ime passes more slowly for your feet than it does for your head.
** [[Carlo Rovelli]], ''[[w:The Order of Time (book)|The Order of Time]]'' (2018) p. 11.

* '''Men like Einstein proclaim obvious truths about [[war]] but are not listened to. So long as Einstein is unintelligible, he is thought wise, but as soon as he says anything that people can understand, it is thought that his wisdom has departed from him.'''
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Do Governments Desire War?'' (1932), a newspaper article for the &quot;New York American&quot; (as quoted in ''Mortals and Others'', v.1, 1975)

* Oh, he was a lovely man, Einstein. Oh, lovely man. He had the most perfect simplicity and perfect modesty, and all his feelings were humane.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], in an [http://www.russellsocietylibrary.com/SUSSKIND.PDF interview] with [[w:David Susskind|David Susskind]] (10 June 1962)

* It did not last: the [[Devil]] howling 'Ho!&lt;br&gt;Let Einstein be!' restored the status quo.
**[[J. C. Squire]], in &quot;In continuation of Pope on Newton&quot; (1926); Squire is here extending upon the famous statement of [[Alexander Pope]]:
::: '''[[Nature]] and Nature's laws lay hid in night: &lt;br&gt; [[God]] said, Let [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] be! — and [[all]] was [[light]].'''
:::* As quoted in ''The Epigrammatists : A Selection from the Epigrammatic Literature of Ancient, Mediæval, and Modern Times'' (1875) by Henry Philip Dodd, p. 329

* [[Napoleon]], and other great men of his type, they were makers of empire. '''But there is an order of men that get beyond that: They are not makers of empire, but they are makers of [[universe]]. And when they have made those universes, their hands are unstained by the blood of any human being on earth.''' ... [[Ptolemy]] made a universe, which lasted 1400 years. [[Newton]] also made a universe, which has lasted 300 years. Einstein has made a universe, and I can't tell you how long that will last.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], in a speech in honour of Einstein at the Savoy Hotel in London (28 October 1930)

* This man is not challenging the fact of science; he is challenging the action [or axioms] of science. Not only is he challenging the action of science, but the action of science has surrendered to his challenge.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], dinner speech, Savoy Hotel, London (Oct28, 1930) as quoted by [[w:Michael Holroyd|Michael Holroyd]], &quot;Albert Einstein, Universe Maker,&quot; ''The New York Times'' (Mar14, 1991); Ref &quot;axioms,&quot; see Julio A. Gonzalo, ''The Intelligible Universe'' (2008)

* It is true that many mathematicians and physicists do their best work when young. But in Einstein's later work we see something much more extreme than the usual falling off. It is as if Thelonious Monk or John Coltrane turned into an obscure twelve-tone composer. How did the greatest physicist since Newton turn into a failed player of mathematical games? All the biographers ask this question; none gives an answer that seems remotely plausible to me as a working scientist. 
** [[Lee Smolin]], &quot;[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2007/jun/14/the-other-einstein/ The Other Einstein]&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (June 14, 2007)

* In politics, it seems that Einstein was called naive for thoughts that we now understand to have been ahead of his time. Could the same have been true of his later science?&lt;br&gt;For science, the question to be answered is the paradox of Einstein's failed last years. I would suggest that the resolution of the paradox is that Einstein's dissent from quantum mechanics and immersion in the search for a unified field theory were not failures but anticipations. After all, even if many string theorists would disagree with Einstein about the incompleteness of quantum mechanics, much of what goes on in string theory these days looks a lot like what Einstein was doing in his Princeton years, which was trying to find new mathematics that might extend general relativity to a unification of all the forces and particles in nature. 
** [[Lee Smolin]], &quot;[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2007/jun/14/the-other-einstein/ The Other Einstein]&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (June 14, 2007)

* '''The one man who was, during the last years, certainly by far Einstein's best [[friend]], and in some ways strangely resembled him most, was [[Kurt Gödel]], The great logician.''' They were very different in almost every personal way  — Einstein gregarious, [[happy]], full of [[laughter]] and [[common sense]], and Gödel extremely [[solemn]], very serious, quite [[solitary]], and distrustful of common sense as a means of arriving at the [[truth]]. '''But they shared a fundamental [[quality]]: both went directly and wholeheartedly to the questions at the very center of things.'''
** [[w:Ernst G. Strauss|Ernst G. Strauss]], in reminiscences of 1982, as quoted in  &quot;Gödel's Life and Work&quot;, by [[w:Solomon Feferman|Solomon Feferman]], in ''Kurt Gödel: Collected Works, Volume I : Publications 1929-1936'' (1986), p. 2

* '''I like quoting Einstein. Know why? Because nobody [[dares]] contradict you.'''
** [[Studs Terkel]], as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4365429,00.html &quot;Voice of America&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (1 March 2002)]

*Albert Einstein, who was admired as almost superhuman and whose fate it was to become one of the most famous people on the planet, never identified with the image the collective mind had created of him. He remained humble, egoless. In fact, he spoke of &quot;a grotesque contradiction between what people consider to be my achievements and abilities and the reality of who I am and what I am capable of.&quot; 
**[[Eckhart Tolle]], in ''A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose'' (2005)

*This illusory sense of self (the [[ego]]) is what Albert Einstein, who had deep insights not only in to the reality of space and time but also into human nature, referred to as &quot;an optical illusion of consciousness.&quot;
**[[Eckhart Tolle]], in ''A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose'' (2005)

* You're a very clever boy, Einstein, an extremely clever boy, but you have one great fault: you'll never let yourself be told anything.
** Heinrich Friedrich Weber, quoted in Seelig, ''Albert Einstein''

* Einstein explained his theory to me every day, and on my arrival I was fully convinced that he [[understood]] it.
** Attributed to [[w:Chaim Weizmann|Chaim Weizmann]], after a long trans-Atlantic journey; ''Simpson's Contemporary Quotations'' (6822) credits [[w:Nigel Calder|Nigel Calder]], ''Einstein's Universe'' (1979); a slightly different version appears in [[w:David Bodanis|David Bodanis]], ''E=mc&amp;sup2;'', which credits Carl Seelig, ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), pp. 80–81

* Einstein's theory of relativity has advanced our ideas of the structure of the cosmos a step further. '''It is as if a wall which separated us from Truth has collapsed.''' Wider expanses and greater depths are now exposed to the searching eye of knowledge, regions of which we had not even a presentiment. It has brought us much nearer to grasping the plan that underlies all physical happening.
** [[Hermann Weyl]], ''Space—Time—Matter'' (1922) Preface to 1st Edition (1918)

* After [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] had made known his discoveries, mathematicians busied themselves with working out his system of geometrical ideas formally; chief among these were [[w:Elwin Bruno Christoffel|Christoffel]], [[w:Gregorio Ricci-Curbastro|Ricci]], and [[w:Tullio Levi-Civita|Levi-Civita]]. '''Riemann... clearly left the real development of his ideas in the hands of some subsequent scientist whose genius as a physicist could rise to equal flights with his own as a mathematician.''' After a lapse of seventy years this mission has been fulfilled by Einstein.
** [[Hermann Weyl]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=KCgZAQAAIAAJ Space—Time—Matter]'' (1922) p. 102

* His [[work]] revolved around three rules which apply to all [[science]], our [[problems]], and times:
*:1. Out of clutter, find [[simplicity]];
*:2. From [[discord]] make [[harmony]]; and finally
*:3. In the middle of difficulty lies [[opportunity]].
** [[John Archibald Wheeler]], interviewed in [http://www.bigear.org/vol1no4/wheeler.htm ''Cosmic Search'', Vol. 1, No. 4] ([http://books.google.com/books?id=4IMgAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22out+of+clutter%22#search_anchor Fall 1979]). The three principles are sometimes attributed to Einstein himself, but no source can be found showing that Einstein stated them, and Wheeler didn't indicate in the interview whether he was quoting something Einstein had told him or giving his own description of how Einstein worked.

* In considering the structure of the universe... Einstein assumed... the irregularities in the distribution of matter can be neglected [i.e., the universe is homogeneous]. ...he noted that the largest velocities then assigned to the stars and nebulae were very small compared with the velocity of light. In 1917... the immense red-shifts of the farther nebulae were unknown. Einstein, therefore, considered a model of the universe in which matter was distributed in a uniform and continuous manner, the relative motion of the various parts being negligible [i.e., a static universe]. Following [[w:Hugo von Seeliger|Seeliger]], he found it impossible to regard the system as filling the whole of [infinite] Euclidean space. Also he could not regard the universe as an island in infinite space. For, in applying a well-known theorem of [[Ludwig Boltzmann|Boltzmann]] relating the densities at various points of space in which a distribution of particles is moving at random, he showed that zero density at the boundary would necessitate zero density at all points inside.&lt;br /&gt;Thus it appeared to Einstein that the universe as a whole could be neither infinite nor have a finite boundary. Hence space as a whole could not be Euclidean. ...In the classical picture time and space are distinct, time being infinite in duration and space Euclidean. In devising an alternative model Einstein retained this world-wide separation of time and space, despite the fusion of the two concepts in General Relativity, but he assumed that space as a whole was of the type known as spherical.&lt;!--p.77--&gt;
** [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* Owing to departures from strict homogeneity, the actual world cannot be ''exactly'' of Einstein's form. The instability of Einstein's universe indicates that in general, a system which is nearly, but not exactly, of this form will tend to depart further and further from it with lapse of time. Consequently, Einstein's model cannot permanently represent the smoothed-out universe of nebulae. It is possible, or course, that the actual universe was much closer to this model in the remote past than it is now. ...It has even been suggested that the Einstein configuration was an unstable equilibrium state through which the universe slowly passed in expanding from an initial 'explosive' phase of small volume and high density.
** [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* Einstein was a world-famous genius and people I knew used to remark, &quot;You spend a good deal of time with Einstein. He has a perfect brain, doesn't he?&quot; Well, I have never known what is meant by a &quot;perfect brain.&quot; I do know that Einstein's mind was very human and had many defects. Einstein was far slower than Jancsi von Neumann to derive mathematical identities. His memory could be faulty, at least after 1933. And he was hardly interested in the details of physics. For a man like Edward Teller, developing the details of a physics problem was passionately important. For Einstein, it was not. In all spheres of life, Einstein's greatest pleasure was in finding, and later expressing, basic principles.&lt;br&gt;But Einstein's understanding was deeper than even Jancsi von Neumann's. His mind was both more penetrating and more original than von Neumann's. And that is a very remarkable statement. Einstein took an extraordinary plea sure in invention. Two of his greatest inventions are the Special and General Theories of Relativity; and for all of Jancsi's brilliance, he never produced anything so original. No modern physicist has.
** [[Eugene Wigner]], ''The Recollections of Eugene P. Wigner'' (1992), Ch. 10. It Is Far Better to Have a Good Marriage Than a Quarrel 

* A clear pattern emerges... he latches on to some perceived fundamental weakness or contradiction in existing physical theory and worries over it for long periods of time—as long as it takes. '''He is concerned not to exploit existing ideas but to transcend them. This restless style is not necessarily a recipe for success.''' Einstein did not play a creative role in the development of physics after 1925... The basic difficulty was that Einstein believed he saw difficulties in the basic foundations of quantum theory and that, characteristically, he wished to overhaul the theory rather than to exploit it. While his colleagues were applying quantum theory with great success to elucidate the workings of atoms, nuclei, and bulk matter, Einstein held aloof.
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* Most scientists are happiest when they are making clear progress, solving some perhaps small but well-defined and significant problems by clever adaptations of known techniques. '''Most people'''—perhaps all—'''feel acutely anxious and unhappy when they are &quot;groping in the dark&quot; or find themselves poised uneasily upon &quot;no firm foundation.&quot; We must admire the courage of those rare individuals who, like Einstein, systematically seek out such situations.'''
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* It is quite easy to include a weight for empty space in the equations of gravity. Einstein did so in 1917, introducing what came to be known as the [[w:Cosmological constant|cosmological constant]] into his equations. His motivation was to construct a [[w:Static universe|static model of the universe]]. To achieve this, he had to introduce a [[w:Vacuum_energy#Implications|negative mass density for empty space]], which just canceled the average positive density due to matter. With zero total density, gravitational forces can be in static equilibrium. [[Edwin Hubble|Hubble's]] subsequent discovery of the [[w:Hubble's law|expansion of the universe]], of course, made Einstein's static model universe obsolete. ...'''The fact is that to this day we do not understand in a deep way why''' the vacuum doesn't weigh, or (to say the same thing in another way) why the cosmological constant vanishes, or (to say it in yet another way) why '''Einstein's greatest blunder was a mistake.'''
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* Einstein understood the central concepts of general relativity years before he developed the detailed equations.
** [[Edward Witten]], {{cite journal|title=Unravelling string theory|volume=438|issue=7071|page=1085|date=22 December 2005|journal=Nature|url=https://www.ias.edu/sites/default/files/sns/files/Unravelling(1).pdf|doi=10.1038/4381085a}}

* So, from a Bayesian perspective, what Einstein did is still induction, and still covered by the notion of a simple prior (Occam prior) that gets updated by new evidence.  It's just the prior was over the possible characters of physical law, and observing other physical laws let Einstein update his model of the character of physical law, which he then used to predict a particular law of gravitation.&lt;br&gt;If you didn't have the concept of a &quot;character of physical law&quot;, what Einstein did would look like magic—plucking the correct model of gravitation out of the space of all possible equations, with vastly insufficient evidence.  But Einstein, by looking at other laws, cut down the space of possibilities for the next law.  He learned the alphabet in which physics was written, constraints to govern his answer.  Not magic, but reasoning on a higher level, across a wider domain, than what a naive reasoner might conceive to be the &quot;model space&quot; of only this one law.&lt;br&gt;So from a probability-theoretic standpoint, Einstein was still data-driven—he just used the data he already had, more effectively.  Compared to any alternate Earths that demanded huge quantities of additional data from astronomical observations and clocks on airplanes to hit them over the head with General Relativity.
** [[Eliezer Yudkowsky]], &quot;[http://lesswrong.com/lw/qj/einsteins_speed/ Einstein's Speed]&quot; (21 May 2008)

* Albertino you're a hottino
**[[Mulder, R.]] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milt ''Nella Vagina Dell'Albertino - A Memoir''] (2022)

=== A. Douglas Stone, ''Einstein and the Quantum'' (2013) ===
{{Main|A. Douglas Stone#Einstein and the Quantum (2013)}}

==See also==
*[[Albert Einstein and politics]]
*[[Annus Mirabilis papers|''Annus Mirabilis'' papers]]
*[[EPR paradox]]
*[[On the Method of Theoretical Physics]], Einstein's {{w|Herbert Spencer}} lecture at [[University of Oxford|Oxford]] (June 10, 1933).
*''[[The Meaning of Relativity]]'' (1922 book consisting of an English translation of four lectures given by Einstein in German at Princeton University in May 1921; with several subsequent editions)
*[[Theory of relativity]]
*[[Unified field theory]]
*[[Why Socialism?]]
*[[Bohr–Einstein debates]]
{{Philosophy of science}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
{{wikisource author}}
* [http://einsteinpapers.press.princeton.edu/|The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein] from Princeton University Press, in conjunction with the California Institute of Technology and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem
*[http://einstein.biz/ Official Einstein&lt;sup&gt;®&lt;/sup&gt; website]
*[http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/index.html Einstein at the American Institute of Physics]
*[http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/einstein/index.php Einstein at the American Museum of Natural History]
*[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/ NOVA : Einstein Revealed at PBS]
*[http://www.nobel.se/physics/laureates/1921/press.html The Nobel Prize in Physics 1921] — [http://www.nobel.se/physics/laureates/1921/index.html Albert Einstein]
*[http://www-gap.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/Mathematicians/Einstein.html Profile at the University of St Andrews, Scotland]
*[http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/index.html Einstein on Science and Religion]
*[http://www.idsia.ch/~juergen/einstein.html Juergen Schmidhuber's Einstein biographical highlights]
*[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/truman/psources/ps_einstein.html Einstein's letter to Roosevelt]
*[http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein FBI files]
*[http://www.th.physik.uni-frankfurt.de/~jr/physpiceinfam.html Einstein family pictures]
*[https://www.quotesshop.us/2022/06/albert-einstein-quotes-about-intelligence.html Albert Einstein Quotes]
*[http://www.pbs.org/opb/einsteinswife/ Einstein's wife: Mileva Maric]
*[http://www.germanheritage.com/biographies/atol/einstein.html Albert Einstein Biography from &quot;German-American corner: History and Heritage&quot;]
*[http://www.alberteinstein.info/ Official Einstein Archives Online : 3000 documents]
**[https://www.firstinspire.com/albert-einstein/ Einstein Timeline]
*[http://www.albert-einstein.org/ Albert Einstein Archive at the University of Jerusalem]
*[http://www.einstein.caltech.edu/ Einstein Papers Project at Caltech (California Institute of Techology)]
*[http://living-einstein.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/living_einstein ''Living Einstein'' at the Max Planck Institute]
*[http://www.westegg.com/einstein/ Albert Einstein Online] - a comprehensive listing of online resources about Einstein.
*''Audio excerpts of famous speeches: '' [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein1.ram e=mc2 &amp; relativity], [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein2.ram Impossibility of atomic energy], [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein3.ram arms race] (From ''Time'' magazine archives)
*Albert Einstein: ''[http://lib.ru/FILOSOF/EJNSHTEJN/theworld_engl.txt The World as I see it]''.
*Albert Einstein: ''[http://www.monthlyreview.org/598einst.htm Why Socialism?]''
*[http://www.muppetlabs.com/~breadbox/txt/al.html Theory of relativity in 4-letter words or shorter]
*[http://www.pupress.princeton.edu/chapters/s6681.pdf Einstein and Religion (1999) by Max Jammer] ([[w:Portable Document Format|PDF document]])
*[http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (13 May 2008)]
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      <text bytes="408258" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Albert Einstein Head.jpg|thumb|A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer [[life]] are based on the [[labors]] of other men, living and [[dead]], and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.]]
[[File:Albert Einstein photo 1920.jpg|220px|thumb|Socialism is directed towards a social-ethical end. Science, however, cannot create ends and, even less, instill them in human beings; science, at most, can supply the means by which to attain certain ends. But the ends themselves are conceived by personalities with lofty ethical ideals and — if these ends are not stillborn, but vital and vigorous — are adopted and carried forward by those many human beings who, half unconsciously, determine the slow evolution of society.]]
[[File: Antonio Bisquert (1906-1990).JPG|thumb|Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.]]
[[File:Albert_Einstein_as_a_child.jpg|thumb|Blind obedience to [[authority]] is the greatest [[enemy]] of [[truth]].]]

'''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[1879]] – [[18 April]] [[1955]]) was a German-born (Jewish) theoretical [[w:physicist|physicist]], widely acknowledged to be one of the greatest physicists of all time. Einstein is known for developing the [[w:theory of relativity|theory of relativity]], but he also made important contributions to the development of the theory of [[w:quantum mechanics|quantum mechanics]]. Together, relativity and quantum mechanics are the two pillars of [[w:modern physics|modern physics]]. He won the 1921 [[w:Nobel Prize in Physics|Nobel Prize in Physics]] for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]].
:See also:
::'''[[Albert Einstein and politics]]'''
::'''[[Annus Mirabilis papers|''Annus Mirabilis'' papers]]'''
::'''[[EPR paradox]]'''
::'''''[[The Meaning of Relativity]]'''''
::'''[[On the Method of Theoretical Physics]]'''
::'''[[Bohr–Einstein debates]]'''

== Quotes ==
&lt;!-- Please keep chronology of quotes --&gt;

=== 1890s ===
[[File:Albert_Einstein_at_the_age_of_three_(1882).jpg|thumb|A [[happy]] man is too [[satisfied]] with the [[present]] to dwell too much on the [[future]].]]
* ''Un homme heureux est trop content du présent pour trop se soucier de l'avenir.'' 
** A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.
** From &quot;Mes Projets d'Avenir&quot;, a French essay written at age 17 for a school exam (18 September 1896). ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'' Vol. 1 (1987) Doc. 22.

=== 1900s ===
[[File:Einstein-with-habicht-and-solovine.jpg|thumb|The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.]]
[[File:E=mc2.png|thumb|The mass of a body is a [[measure]] of its [[energy]] content.]]

* ''Autoritätsdusel ist der größte Feind der Wahrheit.''
** Blind obedience to authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
** Letter to Jost Winteler (July 8th, 1901), quoted in ''The Private Lives of Albert Einstein'' by Roger Highfield and Paul Carter (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=zY7FE9ZyDO0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA79#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 79]. Einstein had been annoyed that [[wikipedia:Paul Drude|Paul Drude]], editor of ''Annalen der Physik'', had dismissed some criticisms Einstein made of Drude's electron theory of metals.

* ''Lieber Habicht! / Es herrscht ein weihevolles Stillschweigen zwischen uns, so daß es mir fast wie eine sündige Entweihung vorkommt, wenn ich es jetzt durch ein wenig bedeutsames Gepappel unterbreche... / Was machen Sie denn, Sie eingefrorener Walfisch, Sie getrocknetes, eingebüchstes Stück Seele...?''
** Dear Habicht, / Such a solemn air of silence has descended between us that I almost feel as if I am committing a sacrilege when I break it now with some inconsequential babble... / What are you up to, you frozen whale, you smoked, dried, canned piece of soul...?
** Opening of a letter to his friend Conrad Habicht in which he describes his four revolutionary [[Annus Mirabilis papers]] (18 or 25 May 1905) [http://einsteinpapers.press.princeton.edu/vol5-doc/81?ajax Doc. 27]

* '''E = mc²'''
** The equivalence of mass and energy was originally expressed by the equation '''m&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;L/c²''', which easily translates into the far more well-known '''E&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;mc²''' in ''[http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/einstein/E_mc2/www/ Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?]'' published in the ''Annalen der Physik'' (27 September 1905) : &quot;If a body gives off the energy L in the form of radiation, its mass diminishes by L/c².&quot;
** In a later statement explaining the ideas expressed by this equation, Einstein summarized: '''&quot;It followed from the special theory of relativity that mass and energy are both but different manifestations of the same thing — a somewhat unfamiliar conception for the average mind. Furthermore, the equation E&amp;nbsp;=&amp;nbsp;mc², in which energy is put equal to mass, multiplied by the square of the velocity of light, showed that very small amounts of mass may be converted into a very large amount of energy and vice versa. The mass and energy were in fact equivalent, according to the formula mentioned before. This was demonstrated by Cockcroft and Walton in 1932, experimentally.&quot;''' 
*** ''Atomic Physics'' (1948) by the J. Arthur Rank Organisation, Ltd. ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTlpJ9ue04w Voice of A. Einstein.])

* '''The mass of a body is a measure of its energy content.'''
** ''Ist die Trägheit eines Körpers von seinem Energieinhalt abhängig?'' (&quot;Does the inertia of a body depend upon its energy content?&quot;)
** ''Annalen der Physik 18'', 639-641 (1905). Quoted in ''Concepts of Mass in Classical and Modern Physics'' by Max Jammer (1961), [http://books.google.com/books?id=lYvz0_8aGsMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA177#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 177]

* '''We shall, therefore, assume the complete physical equivalence of a gravitational field and a corresponding acceleration of the reference system.'''
** Statement of the [[wikipedia:equivalence principle|equivalence principle]] in ''Yearbook of Radioactivity and Electronics'' (1907)

=== 1910s === 
[[File:Most_distant_Gamma-ray_burst.jpg|thumb|[[Nature]] shows us only the tail of the [[lion]]. But there is no [[doubt]] in my [[mind]] that the lion belongs with it even if he cannot reveal himself to the [[eye]] all at once because of his huge dimension.]]
[[File:1919_eclipse_positive.jpg|thumb|It is by no means an idle [[game]] if we become practiced in analyzing long-held commonplace concepts and showing the [[circumstances]] on which their justification and usefulness depend...]]

* ''Die Natur zeigt uns vom Löwen zwar nur den Schwanz. Aber es ist mir unzweifelhaft, dass der Löwe dazugehört, wenn er sich auch wegen seiner ungeheuren Dimensionen dem Blicke nicht unmittelbar offenbaren kann. Wir sehen ihn nur wie eine Laus, die auf ihm sitzt.''
** Nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But there is no doubt in my mind that the lion belongs with it even if he cannot reveal himself to the eye all at once because of his huge dimension. We see him only the way a louse sitting upon him would.
** Letter to Heinrich Zangger (10 March 1914), quoted in ''The Curious History of Relativity'' by Jean Eisenstaedt (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=d2bnXTOtCD8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA126#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 126].
** Variant: &quot;Nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But I do not doubt that the lion belongs to it even though he cannot at once reveal himself because of his enormous size.&quot; As quoted by Abraham Pais in ''Subtle is the Lord:The Science and Life of Albert Einstein'' (1982), p. 235 &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0-192-80672-6}} &lt;/small&gt;

* ''Man begreift schwer beim Erleben dieser &quot;großen Zeit&quot;, daß man dieser verrückten, verkommenen Spezies angehört, die sich Willensfreiheit zuschreibt. Wenn es doch irgendwo eine Insel der Wohlwollenden und Besonnenen gäbe! Da wollte ich auch glühender Patriot sein.''
** In living through this &quot;great epoch,&quot; it is difficult to reconcile oneself to the fact that one belongs to that mad, degenerate species that boasts of its free will. How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will! In such a place even I should be an ardent patriot!
** Letter to [[wikipedia:Paul Ehrenfest|Paul Ehrenfest]], early December 1914. ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 8, Doc. 39. Quoted in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 3

* ''Es ist bequem mit dem Einstein. Jedes Jahr widerruft er, was er das vorige Jahr geschrieben hat.''
** It's convenient with that fellow Einstein, every year he retracts what he wrote the year before. 
** Letter to Paul Ehrenfest, 26 December 1915. ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 8, Doc. 173.

* '''How does it happen that a properly endowed natural scientist comes to concern himself with [[wikipedia:Epistemology|epistemology]]?''' Is there not some more valuable work to be done in his specialty? That's what I hear many of my colleagues ask, and I sense it from many more. But I cannot share this sentiment. When I think about the ablest students whom I have encountered in my teaching — that is, those who distinguish themselves by their independence of judgment and not just their quick-wittedness — I can affirm that they had a vigorous interest in epistemology. They happily began discussions about the goals and methods of science, and they showed unequivocally, through tenacious defense of their views, that the subject seemed important to them.&lt;br /&gt; '''Concepts that have proven useful in ordering things easily achieve such authority over us that we forget their earthly origins and accept them as unalterable givens.''' [''Begriffe, welche sich bei der Ordnung der Dinge als nützlich erwiesen haben, erlangen über uns leicht eine solche Autorität, dass wir ihres irdischen Ursprungs vergessen und sie als unabänderliche Gegebenheiten hinnehmen.''] Thus they might come to be stamped as &quot;necessities of thought,&quot; &quot;a priori givens,&quot; etc. The path of scientific progress is often made impassable for a long time by such errors. [''Der Weg des wissenschaftlichen Fortschritts wird durch solche Irrtümer oft für längere Zeit ungangbar gemacht''.] '''Therefore it is by no means an idle game if we become practiced in analysing long-held commonplace concepts and showing the circumstances on which their justification and usefulness depend, and how they have grown up, individually, out of the givens of experience. Thus their excessive authority will be broken.''' They will be removed if they cannot be properly legitimated, corrected if their correlation with given things be far too superfluous, or replaced if a new system can be established that we prefer for whatever reason.
** Obituary for physicist and philosopher [[Ernst Mach]] (''Nachruf auf Ernst Mach''), ''Physikalische Zeitschrift'' 17 (1916), p. 101

* ...to the question whether or not the motion of the Earth in space can be made perceptible in terrestrial experiments. We have already remarked... that all attempts of this nature led to a negative result. Before the theory of relativity was put forward, it was difficult to become reconciled to this negative result.
** ''[https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/einstein/works/1910s/relative/index.htm Relativity – The Special and General Theory]'' (1916), Part I: The Special Theory of Relativity, Experience and the Special Theory of Relativity

* ''Unser ganzer gepriesener Fortschritt der Technik, überhaupt die Civilisation, ist der Axt in der Hand des pathologischen Verbrechers vergleichbar.'' 
** Our entire much-praised technological progress, and civilization generally, could be compared to an axe in the hand of a pathological criminal.
** Letter to Heinrich Zangger (1917), as quoted in ''A Sense of the Mysterious: Science and the Human Spirit'' by Alan Lightman (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-yo_gVxMs6MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA110#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 110], and in ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' by Albrecht Fölsing (1997), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Kmm0foYfvQAC&amp;q=%22compared+to+an+axe%22#search_anchor p. 399]
** Sometimes paraphrased as &quot;Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.&quot;

* The most beautiful fate of a physical theory is to point the way to the establishment of a more inclusive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.
** (1917) as quoted by {{w|Gerald Holton}}, ''The Advancement of Science, and Its Burdens: the Jefferson Lecture and Other Essays'' (1986)

* ''Ich habe auch manchen wissenschaftlichen Plan überlegt, während ich Dich im Kinderwagen spazieren schob!''
** I have also considered many scientific plans during my pushing you around in your pram!
** Letter to his son [[wikipedia:Hans Albert Einstein|Hans Albert Einstein]] (June 1918)

* ''Geh Recht viel spazieren, dass Du Recht gesund wirst und lies nicht gar zu viel sondern spar Dir noch was auf bis Du gross bist.''
** Make a lot of walks to get healthy and don't read that much but save yourself some until you're grown up.
** Letter to his son [[wikipedia:Eduard Einstein|Eduard Einstein]] (June 1918)

* &quot;The physical world is real.&quot; That is supposed to be the fundamental hypothesis. What does &quot;hypothesis&quot; mean here? For me, a hypothesis is a statement, whose truth must be assumed for the moment, but whose meaning must be raised above all ambiguity. The above statement appears to me, however, to be, in itself, meaningless, as if one said: &quot;The physical world is cock-a-doodle-do.&quot; It appears to me that the &quot;real&quot; is an intrinsically empty, meaningless category (pigeon hole), whose monstrous importance lies only in the fact that I can do certain things in it and not certain others.
** Letter to Eduard Study, 25 Sept. 1918, in the Einstein Archive, Hebrew U., Jerusalem; translation in D. Howard, ''Perspectives on Science'' '''1''', 225 (1993).

* I lie on the beach like a crocodile and let myself be roasted by the sun. I never see a newspaper and don't give a damn for what is called the world. 
** Letter to Max Born, 1918, from The Born-Einstein Letters: Friendship, Politics and Physics in Uncertain Times, Macmillan (2005 edition), pg 7. 

* ''Liebe Mutter! Heute eine freudige Nachricht. [[wikipedia:Hendrik Lorentz|H. A. Lorentz]] hat mir telegraphiert, dass die englischen Expeditionen die Lichtablenkung an der Sonne wirklich bewiesen haben.''
** Dear mother! Today a joyful notice. H. A. Lorentz has telegraphed me that the English expeditions have really proven the deflection of light at the sun.
** Postcard to his mother [[wikipedia:Pauline Koch|Pauline Einstein]] (1919)

* ''Noch eine Art Anwendung des Relativitätsprinzips zum Ergötzen des Lesers: Heute werde ich in Deutschland als &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot;, in England als &quot;Schweizer Jude&quot; bezeichnet; sollte ich aber einst in die Lage kommen, als &quot;bète noire&quot; präsentiert zu werden, dann wäre ich umgekehrt für die Deutschen ein „Schweizer Jude&quot;, für die Engländer ein &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot;.''
** By an application of the theory of relativity to the taste of readers, today in Germany I am called a German man of science, and in England I am represented as a Swiss Jew. If I come to be represented as a bête noire, the descriptions will be reversed, and I shall become a Swiss Jew for the Germans and a German man of science for the English!
** {{citation
|title=Einstein On His Theory
|journal=The Times
|location=London
|date=1919-11-28
|url=http://archive.timesonline.co.uk/tol/viewArticle.arc?articleId=ARCHIVE-The_Times-1919-11-28-13-011&amp;pageId=ARCHIVE-The_Times-1919-11-28-13}}, quoted in Herman Bernstein: Celebrities of Our Time. New York 1924. p. 267 ([http://www.archive.org/details/celebritiesofour000452mbp archive.org]). Einstein's original German text in ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein''. Volume 7. Doc. 25 p. 210, and at [http://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/docpage.cfm?docpage_id=5438&amp;language=german germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org] after Albert Einstein, Mein Weltbild. Amsterdam: Querido Verlag, 1934, pp. 220-28. Manuscript at [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Digital/EAR000033998#page/7/mode/2up alberteinstein.info].
** Variant: If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew. (Address to the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922); French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378] and ''Berliner Tageblatt'' (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535])
** Variant translation: If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will say I am a man of the world. If it's proven wrong, France will say I am a German and Germany will say I am a Jew.
** Variant: If relativity is proved right the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss will call me a Swiss citizen, and the French will call me a great scientist. If relativity is proved wrong the French will call me a Swiss, the Swiss will call me a German and the Germans will call me a Jew.

==== ''Principles of Research'' (1918) ====

[[File:Buddhabrot-deep.png|thumb|The state of [[mind]] which enables a man to do [[work]] of this kind is akin to that of the [[religious]] [[worshiper]] or the [[lover]]; the daily effort comes from no deliberate intention or program, but straight from the [[heart]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;[http://www.site.uottawa.ca/~yymao/misc/Einstein_PlanckBirthday.html Address at the Physical Society, Berlin, for Max Planck's 60th birthday]&lt;/small&gt;
* '''In the temple of science are many mansions, and various indeed are they that dwell therein and the motives that have led them thither.''' Many take to science out of a joyful sense of superior intellectual power; science is their own special sport to which they look for vivid experience and the satisfaction of ambition; many others are to be found in the temple who have offered the products of their brains on this altar for purely utilitarian purposes. '''Were an angel of the Lord to come and drive all the people belonging to these two categories out of the temple, the assemblage would be seriously depleted, but there would still be some men, of both present and past times, left inside. Our [[Max Planck|Planck]] is one of them, and that is why we love him.'''&lt;br /&gt; I am quite aware that we have just now lightheartedly expelled in imagination many excellent men who are largely, perhaps chiefly, responsible for the buildings of the temple of science; and in many cases, our angel would find it a pretty ticklish job to decide. But of one thing I feel sure: if the types we have just expelled were the only types there were, the temple would never have come to be, any more than a forest can grow which consists of nothing but creepers. For these people any sphere of human activity will do if it comes to a point; whether they become engineers, officers, tradesmen, or scientists depends on circumstances.&lt;br /&gt;Now let us have another look at those who have found favor with the angel. '''Most of them are somewhat odd, uncommunicative, solitary fellows, really less like each other, in spite of these common characteristics, than the hosts of the rejected. What has brought them to the temple? That is a difficult question and no single answer will cover it.'''

* '''The state of mind which enables a man to do work of this kind is akin to that of the religious worshiper or the lover; the daily effort comes from no deliberate intention or program, but straight from the heart.'''

* '''Man tries to make for himself in the fashion that suits him best a simplified and intelligible picture of the world; he then tries to some extent to substitute this cosmos of his for the world of experience, and thus to overcome it. This is what the painter, the poet, the speculative philosopher, and the natural scientist do, each in his own fashion.''' Each makes this cosmos and its construction the pivot of his emotional life, in order to find in this way the peace and security which he cannot find in the narrow whirlpool of personal experience.
** Variant translation: One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought. With this negative motive goes a positive one. '''Man seeks to form for himself, in whatever manner is suitable for him, a simplified and lucid image of the world, and so to overcome the world of experience by striving to replace it to some extent by this image. This is what the painter does, and the poet, the speculative philosopher, the natural scientist, each in his own way. Into this image and its formation, he places the center of gravity of his emotional life, in order to attain the peace and serenity that he cannot find within the narrow confines of swirling personal experience.'''
** As quoted in ''The Professor, the Institute, and DNA'' (1976) by Rene Dubos; also in ''The Great Influenza'' (2004) by John M. Barry

* But what can be the attraction of getting to know such a tiny section of nature thoroughly, while one leaves everything subtler and more complex shyly and timidly alone? Does the product of such a modest effort deserve to be called by the proud name of a theory of the universe? In my belief the name is justified; '''for the general laws on which the structure of theoretical physics is based claim to be valid for any natural phenomenon whatsoever. With them, it ought to be possible to arrive at the description, that is to say, the theory, of every natural process, including life, by means of pure deduction, if that process of deduction were not far beyond the capacity of the human intellect.''' The physicist's renunciation of completeness for his cosmos is therefore not a matter of fundamental principle.

* '''The supreme task of the physicist is to arrive at those universal elementary laws from which the cosmos can be built up by pure deduction. There is no logical path to these laws; only intuition, resting on sympathetic understanding of experience, can reach them.''' In this methodological uncertainty, one might suppose that there were any number of possible systems of theoretical physics all equally well justified; and this opinion is no doubt correct, theoretically. But the development of physics has shown that at any given moment, out of all conceivable constructions, a single one has always proved itself decidedly superior to all the rest.
** Variant, from Preface to [[Max Planck]]'s ''Where is Science Going?'' (1933): The supreme task of the physicist is the discovery of the most general elementary laws from which the world-picture can be deduced logically. But there is no logical way to the discovery of these elemental laws. There is only the way of intuition, which is helped by a feeling for the order lying behind the appearance, and this ''Einfühlung'' [literally, empathy or 'feeling one's way in']' is developed by experience.

=== 1920s ===
[[File:Spinoza.jpg|thumb|''How much do I [[love]] [[Baruch Spinoza|that noble man]]&lt;br /&gt;
More than I could tell with [[words]]...'']]
[[File:Old_Jerusalem_Jewish_Quarter_street_Mosaic_12_tribes.JPG|thumb|I am a [[Jew]] and glad to belong to the Jewish [[people]], though I do not regard it in any way as chosen.]]
[[File:Albert_Einstein_photo_1921.jpg|thumb| Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not.]]
[[File:Einstein_1921_by_F_Schmutzer_-_restoration.jpg|thumb| The [[value]] of a college [[education]] is not the [[learning]] of many [[facts]] but the [[training]] of the [[mind]] to [[think]].]]
[[File:PNG_transparency_demonstration_1.png|thumb|The [[theory]] says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the [[secret]] of the &quot;old one.&quot; I, at any rate, am convinced that ''He'' does not throw dice.]]
[[File:Hoag's_object.jpg|thumb|I [[believe]] in [[Spinoza]]'s [[God]], Who reveals Himself in the lawful [[harmony]] of the [[world]], not in a God Who concerns Himself with the [[fate]] and the doings of [[mankind]].]]

* ''Wie lieb ich diesen edlen Mann&lt;br /&gt;  Mehr als ich mit Worten sagen kann.&lt;br /&gt;  Doch fürcht' ich, dass er bleibt allein&lt;br /&gt;  Mit seinem strahlenden Heiligenschein.''
** How much do I love that noble man&lt;br /&gt;More than I could tell with words&lt;br /&gt;I fear though he'll remain alone&lt;br /&gt;With a holy halo of his own.
** Poem by Einstein on [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] (1920), as quoted in [http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&amp;q=cache:i-4Gd4RHW3gJ:press.princeton.edu/chapters/s6681.pdf+max+jammer&amp;hl=de&amp;gl=de&amp;pid=bl&amp;srcid=ADGEESjMqxYX4kB2T1bfEXiMcwf_HE3uetROnsVm99yTeJxLw-8CHBpPjK16CpXW7n5wuR5wFLq5Yxgo14sSpVSTYXTmTT1DPz4pDDl4_z5eFR7mVqZn3ei9vF-rVVrRfwITDQeH7I5F&amp;sig=AHIEtbShlMEqHZfrr0q5IJtYTNouk3VxAg ''Einstein and Religion'' by Max Jammer, Princeton UP 1999], p. 43; original German manuscript: [http://www.autodidactproject.org/other/einstein9-spinoza8.html &quot;Zu Spinozas Ethik&quot;].

* We may assume the existence of an aether; only we must give up ascribing a definite state of motion to it, i.e. we must by abstraction take from it the last mechanical characteristic which Lorentz had still left it. ... But this ether may not be thought of as endowed with the quality characteristic of ponderable inedia, as consisting of parts which may be tracked through time. The idea of motion may not be applied to it.
** On the irrelevance of the luminiferous aether hypothesis to physical measurements, in an address at the University of Leiden (5 May 1920)

* I am neither a German citizen nor do I believe in anything that can be described as a &quot;Jewish faith.&quot; But I am a Jew and glad to belong to the Jewish people, though I do not regard it in any way as chosen.
** Letter to Central Association of German Citizens of the Jewish Faith, 3 [5] April 1920, as quoted in Alice Calaprice, ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' (2010), p. 195; citing ''Israelitisches Wochenblatt'', 42 September 1920, The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein, Vol. 7, Doc. 37, and Vol. 9, Doc 368.&lt;!-- obviously, parts of this can be taken out of context --&gt;

* ''Es ist das schönste Los einer physikalischen Theorie, wenn sie selbst zur Aufstellung einer umfassenden Theorie den Weg weist, in welcher sie als Grenzfall weiterlebt.''
** No fairer destiny could be allotted to any physical theory, than that it should of itself point out the way to the introduction of a more comprehensive theory, in which it lives on as a limiting case.
** ''Über die spezielle und die allgemeine Relativitätstheorie'' (1920) Tr. Robert W. Lawson, ''Relativity: The Special and General Theory'' (1920) pp. 90-91.

* ''Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht.''
** '''Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not.'''
** Remark made during Einstein's first visit to Princeton University (April 1921) as quoted in ''Einstein'' (1973) by R. W. Clark, Ch. 14. &quot;God is slick, but he ain't mean&quot; is a variant translation of this (1946) Unsourced variant: &quot;God is subtle but he is not malicious.&quot;
** When asked what he meant by this he replied. &quot;Nature hides her secret because of her essential loftiness, but not by means of ruse.&quot; (''Die Natur verbirgt ihr Geheimnis durch die Erhabenheit ihres Wesens, aber nicht durch List.'') As quoted in ''Subtle is the Lord — The Science and the Life of Albert Einstein'' (1982) by Abraham Pais &lt;!-- Clarendon Press, Oxford, and Oxford University Press, New York --&gt; [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/faith.html einsteinandreligion.com]
*** Originally said to Princeton University mathematics professor Oscar Veblen, May 1921, while Einstein was in Princeton for a series of lectures, upon hearing that an experimental result by Dayton C. Miller of Cleveland, if true, would contradict his theory of gravitation. But the claimed discrepancy was quite small and required special circumstances (hence Einsteins's remark). The result turned out to be false. Some say by this remark Einstein meant that Nature hides her secrets by being subtle, while others say he meant that nature is mischievous but not bent on trickery. [The Yale Book of Quotations, ed. Fred R. Shapiro, 2006]
** Variant translation: God may be sophisticated, but he's not malicious.
*** As quoted in ''Cherished Illusions'' (2005) by Sarah Stern, p. 109
** '''I have second thoughts. Maybe God ''is'' malicious'''.
** Said to [[wikipedia: Valentine Bargmann|Valentine Bargmann]], as quoted in ''Einstein in America'' (1985) by Jamie Sayen, p. 51, indicating that God leads people to believe they understand things that they actually are far from understanding; also in ''The Yale Book of Quotations'' (2006), ed. Fred R. Shapiro

* When a man after long years of searching chances on a thought which discloses something of the beauty of this mysterious universe, he should not therefore be personally celebrated. He is already sufficiently paid by his experience of seeking and finding. '''In science, moreover, the work of the individual is so bound up with that of his scientific predecessors and contemporaries that it appears almost as an impersonal product of his generation.'''
** From the story &quot;The Progress of Science&quot; in ''The Scientific Monthly'' edited by J. McKeen Cattell ([http://books.google.com/books?id=453muO-6N4kC&amp;pg=PA488-IA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false June 1921]), Vol. XII, No. 6. The story says that the comments were made at the annual meeting of the National Academy of Sciences at the National Museum in Washington on April 25, 26, and 27. Einstein's comments appear on [http://books.google.com/books?id=453muO-6N4kC&amp;pg=PA579#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 579], though the story may be paraphrasing rather than directly quoting since it says &quot;In reply Professor Einstein in substance said&quot; the quote above.

* '''[I do not] carry such information in my mind since it is readily available in books. ...The value of a college education is not the learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think.'''
** In response to not knowing the speed of sound as included in the Edison Test: ''New York Times'' (18 May 1921); ''Einstein: His Life and Times'' (1947) Philipp Frank, p. 185; ''Einstein, A Life'' (1996) by Denis Brian, p. 129; &quot;Einstein Due Today&quot; (February 2005) edited by József Illy, Manuscript 25-32 of the Einstein Paper Project; all previous sources as per ''Einstein His Life and Universe'' (2007) by Walter Isaacson, p. 299
** Unsourced variants: &quot;I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book&quot; and &quot;Never memorize what you can look up in books.&quot; (The second version is found in [http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/world/world-record.html &quot;Recording the Experience&quot; (10 June 2004) at The Library of Congress],&lt;!--Found roughly 1/4 down the page--&gt; but no citation to Einstein's writings is given).

* Insofern sich die Sätze der Mathematik auf die Wirklichkeit beziehen, sind sie nicht sicher, und insofern sie sicher sind, beziehen sie sich nicht auf die Wirklichkeit. 
** '''In so far as theories of mathematics speak about reality, they are not certain, and in so far as they are certain, they do not speak about reality.'''
** ''Geometrie and Erfahrung'' (1921) [http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007%2F978-3-642-49903-6_1#page-1 pp. 3-4 link.springer.com] as cited by [[Karl Popper]], ''The Two Fundamental Problems of the Theory of Knowledge'' (2014) Tr. Andreas Pickel, Ed. Troels Eggers Hansen.

* I was sitting in a chair in the patent office at Bern when all of sudden a thought occurred to me: ''If a person falls freely he will not feel his own weight.'' I was startled. This simple thought made a deep impression on me. It impelled me toward a theory of gravitation.
** Einstein in his Kyoto address (14 December 1922), talking about the events of &quot;probably the 2nd or 3rd weeks&quot; of October 1907, quoted in [http://www.worldnpa.org/pdf/abstracts/abstracts_23.pdf ''Why Did Einstein Put So Much Emphasis on the Equivalence Principle?'' by Dr. Robert J. Heaston] in ''Equivalence Principle – April 2008'' (15th NPA Conference) who cites A. Einstein. &quot;How I Constructed the Theory of Relativity,&quot; Translated by Masahiro Morikawa from the text recorded in Japanese by Jun Ishiwara, Association of Asia Pacific Physical Societies (AAPPS) Bulletin, Vol. 15, No. 2, pp. 17-19 (April 2005)&lt;!-- Einstein recalls events of 1907 in talk in Japan on 14 December 1922. --&gt;

* I have come to believe that the motion of the Earth cannot be detected by any optical experiment.
** ''How I Created the Theory of Relativity'', speech at Kyoto University, Japan, December 14, 1922, as cited in ''Physics Today'', August, 1982.

* May they not forget to keep pure the great heritage that puts them ahead of the West: the artistic configuration of life, the simplicity and modesty of personal needs, and the purity and serenity of the Japanese soul.
** Comment made after a six-week trip to Japan in November-December 1922, published in ''Kaizo'' 5, no. 1 (January 1923), 339. Einstein Archive 36-477.1. Appears in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 269

* ''Die Quantenmechanik ist sehr achtung-gebietend. Aber eine innere Stimme sagt mir, daß das doch nicht der wahre Jakob ist. Die Theorie liefert viel, aber dem Geheimnis des Alten bringt sie uns kaum näher. Jedenfalls bin ich überzeugt, daß der nicht würfelt.''
** Quantum mechanics is certainly imposing. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. The theory says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the secret of the &quot;old one.&quot; '''I, at any rate, am convinced that ''He'' does not throw dice.'''
** Letter to [[wikipedia:Max Born|Max Born]] (4 December 1926); ''The Born-Einstein Letters'' (translated by Irene Born) (Walker and Company, New York, 1971) &lt;!-- p. 90 --&gt; &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0-8027-0326-7}}&lt;/small&gt;.
** Einstein himself used variants of this quote at other times. For example, in a 1943 conversation with William Hermanns recorded in Hermanns' book ''Einstein and the Poet'', Einstein said: '''&quot;As I have said so many times, God doesn't play dice with the world.&quot;''' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA58#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 58])

* '''Whether you can observe a thing or not depends on the theory which you use. It is the theory which decides what can be observed.'''
** Objecting to the placing of observables at the heart of the new quantum mechanics, during Heisenberg's 1926 lecture at Berlin; related by Heisenberg, quoted in ''Unification of Fundamental Forces'' (1990) &lt;!-- p. 98-101 --&gt; by Abdus Salam &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0521371406}}&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible concatenations, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion. To that extent I am, in point of fact, religious.'''
** p. 157 London: Weidenfeld and Nicolson
** Response to atheist [[wikipedia:Alfred Kerr|Alfred Kerr]] in the winter of 1927, who after deriding ideas of God and religion at a dinner party in the home of the publisher [[wikipedia:Samuel Fischer|Samuel Fischer]], had queried him &quot;I hear that ''you'' are supposed to be deeply religious&quot; as quoted in ''The Diary of a Cosmopolitan'' (1971) by H. G. Kessler

* ''Ich glaube an Spinozas Gott, der sich in der gesetzlichen Harmonie des Seienden offenbart, nicht an einen Gott, der sich mit Schicksalen und Handlungen der Menschen abgibt.''
** I believe in [[Spinoza]]'s God, Who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world, not in a God Who concerns Himself with the fate and the doings of mankind.
** 24 April 1929 in response to the telegrammed question of New York's Rabbi Herbert S. Goldstein: &quot;Do you believe in God? Stop. Answer paid 50 words.&quot; Einstein replied in only 27 (German) words. [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F10B1EFC3E54167A93C7AB178FD85F4D8285F9 The New York Times 25 April 1929]
** Similarly, in a letter to [[wikipedia:Maurice Solovine|Maurice Solovine]], he wrote: &quot;I can understand your aversion to the use of the term 'religion' to describe an emotional and psychological attitude which shows itself most clearly in Spinoza... I have not found a better expression than 'religious' for the trust in the rational nature of reality that is, at least to a certain extent, accessible to human reason.&quot;
*** As quoted in [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/spinoza.html ''Einstein : Science and Religion''] by Arnold V. Lesikar

* '''If A is success in life, then A = x + y + z. Work is x, play is y and z is keeping your mouth shut.'''
** Said to Samuel J Woolf, Berlin, Summer 1929. Cited with additional notes in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice and [[Freeman Dyson]], Princeton UP (2010) p 230

* '''Science is international but its success is based on institutions, which are owned by nations. If therefore, we wish to promote culture we have to combine and to organize institutions with our own power and means.'''
** When asked the question, &quot;Why a 'Jewish' University?&quot; when Einstein was assisting Chaim Weizmann in fundraising for The [[wikipedia:Hebrew University of Jerusalem|Hebrew University of Jerusalem]].
*** As quoted in [Albert Einstein, Letter &quot;Einstein in Singapore.&quot; Manchester Guardian, October 12, 1929]

==== ''Sidelights on Relativity'' (1922) ====
: &lt;small&gt;'' Sidelights on Relativity'' (1922), translation by GB Jeffrey and W Perrett of ''&quot;Äther und Relativitätstheorie&quot;'' (Aether and Relativity Theory), a talk given on 5 May 1920 at the University of Leiden, and ''&quot;Geometrie und Erfahrung&quot;'' (Geometry and Experience), a lecture given at the Prussian Academy published in ''Sitzungsberichte der Preussischen Akademie der Wissenschaften'', 1921 (pt. 1), pp. 123–130&lt;/small&gt;
* How can it be that mathematics, being, after all, a product of human thought which is independent of experience, is so admirably appropriate to the objects of reality? Is human reason, then, without experience, merely by taking thought, able to fathom the properties of real things?

* One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts.

==== Viereck interview (1929) ====
: &lt;small&gt;&quot;What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck&quot; ''The Saturday Evening Post'' (26 October 1929), p. 17. A scan of the article is available online [http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf here]. A transcription is available [https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/vierecks-interview-einstein-1929-francesco-vissani-phd/ here]. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Einstein_gyro_gravity_probe_b.jpg|thumb|I am enough of an [[artist]] to draw freely upon my [[imagination]]. Imagination is more important than [[knowledge]]. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the [[world]].]]
[[File:Tiffany_Jesus_Window_in_Pullman_Memorial_Universalist_Church.jpg|thumb|I am a [[Jew]], but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of [[Jesus|the Nazarene]].]]
[[File:Wassilij_Dimitriewitsch_Polenow_005.jpg|thumb|No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of [[Jesus]]. His [[personality]] pulsates in every [[word]]. No [[myth]] is filled with such [[life]].]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv_Bild_102-00487A,_Albert_Einstein.jpg|thumb|I look upon myself as a man. [[Nationalism]] is an infantile [[disease]]. It is the measles of [[mankind]].]]

* The meaning of relativity has been widely misunderstood. Philosophers play with the word, like a child with a doll. Relativity, as I see it, merely denotes that certain physical and mechanical facts, which have been regarded as positive and permanent, are relative with regard to certain other facts in the sphere of physics and mechanics. It does not mean that everything in life is relative and that we have the right to turn the whole world mischievously topsy-turvy.

* No man can [[Visualization|visualize]] four dimensions, except mathematically ... I think in four dimensions, but only abstractly. The human mind can picture these dimensions no more than it can envisage electricity. Nevertheless, they are no less real than electro-magnetism, the force which controls our universe, within, and by which we have our being.

* Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
** Quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), p. 230

* I refuse to make money out of my science. My laurel is not for sale like so many bales of cotton.

* '''If I was not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. ... I cannot tell if I would have done any creative work of importance in music, but I do know that I get most joy in life out of my violin.'''

* '''Reading after a certain age diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking''', just as the man who spends too much time in the theater is tempted to be content with living vicariously instead of living his own life.

* Our time is Gothic in its spirit. Unlike the Renaissance, it is not dominated by a few outstanding personalities. The twentieth century has established the democracy of the intellect. In the republic of art and science, there are many men who take an equally important part in the intellectual movements of our age. It is the epoch rather than the individual that is important. There is no one dominant personality like Galileo or Newton. Even in the nineteenth century, there were still a few giants who outtopped all others. Today the general level is much higher than ever before in the history of the world, but there are few men whose stature immediately sets them apart from all others.

* In America, more than anywhere else, the individual is lost in the achievements of the many. America is beginning to be the world leader in a scientific investigation. American scholarship is both patient and inspiring. The Americans show an unselfish devotion to science, which is the very opposite of the conventional European view of your countrymen. '''Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.''' It is not true that the dollar is an American fetish. The American student is not interested in dollars, not even in success as such, but in his task, the object of the search. It is his painstaking application to the study of the infinitely little and the infinitely large which accounts for his success in astronomy.

* We are inclined to overemphasize the material influences in history. The Russians especially make this mistake. Intellectual values and ethnic influences, tradition and emotional factors are equally important. If this were not the case, Europe would today be a federated state, not a madhouse of nationalism.

* I am a determinist. As such, I do not believe in free will. The Jews believe in free will. They believe that man shapes his own life. I reject that doctrine philosophically. In that respect, I am not a Jew.
** Quoted in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA387#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe]'' by Walter Isaacson, p. 387

* I believe with [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]: We can do what we wish, but we can only wish what we must. Practically, I am, nevertheless, compelled to act as if freedom of the will existed. If I wish to live in a civilized community, I must act as if man is a responsible being. I know that philosophically a murderer is not responsible for his crime; nevertheless, I must protect myself from unpleasant contacts. I may consider him guiltless, but I prefer not to take tea with him.

* My own career was undoubtedly determined, not by my own will but by various factors over which I have no control—primarily those mysterious glands in which Nature prepares the very essence of life, our internal secretions.

* Whereas materialistic historians and philosophers neglect psychic realities, Freud is inclined to overstress their importance. I am not a psychologist, but it seems to me fairly evident that physiological factors, especially our endocrines, control our destiny ... I am not able to venture a judgment on so important a phase of modern thought. However, it seems to me that psychoanalysis is not always salutary. It may not always be helpful to delve into the subconscious. The machinery of our legs is controlled by a hundred different muscles. Do you think it would help us to walk if we analyzed our legs and knew exactly which one of the little muscles must be employed in locomotion and the order in which they work? ... I am not prepared to accept all his [Freud's] conclusions, but I consider his work an immensely valuable contribution to the science of human behavior. I think he is even greater as a writer than as a psychologist. Freud's brilliant style is unsurpassed by anyone since Schopenhauer.

* The only progress I can see is progress in the organization. The ordinary human being does not live long enough to draw any substantial benefit from his own experience. And no one, it seems, can benefit by the experiences of others. Being both a father and teacher, I know we can teach our children nothing. We can transmit to them neither our knowledge of life nor of mathematics. Each must learn its lesson anew.

* '''I believe in intuitions and inspirations. I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.''' When two expeditions of scientists, financed by the Royal Academy, went forth to test my theory of relativity, I was convinced that their conclusions would tally with my hypothesis. I was not surprised when the eclipse of May 29, 1919, confirmed my intuitions. I would have been surprised if I had been wrong.

* '''I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.'''

* '''As a child, I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene.'''

* Jesus is too colossal for the pen of phrasemongers, however artful. No man can dispose of Christianity with a ''bon mot''.

* '''No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.'''
** As reported in ''Einstein — A Life'' (1996) by Denis Brian, when asked about a clipping from a magazine article reporting his comments on Christianity as taken down by Viereck, Einstein carefully read the clipping and replied, '''&quot; That is what I believe.&quot;''' .

* It is quite possible to be both. I look upon myself as a man. '''Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.'''
** When asked by Viereck if he considered himself to be a German or a Jew. A version with slightly different wording is quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA386#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson (2007), p. 386

* We Jews have been too adaptable. We have been too eager to sacrifice our idiosyncrasies for the sake of social conformity. ... Even in modern civilization, the Jew is most happy if he remains a Jew.

* I do not think that religion is the most important element. We are held together rather by a body of tradition, handed down from father to son, which the child imbibes with his mother's milk. The atmosphere of our infancy predetermines our idiosyncrasies and predilections.
** In response to a question about whether religion is the tie holding the Jews together.

* But to return to the Jewish question. Other groups and nations cultivate their individual traditions. There is no reason why we should sacrifice ours. '''Standardization robs life of its spice.''' To deprive every ethnic group of its special traditions is to convert the world into a huge Ford plant. '''I believe in standardizing automobiles. I do not believe in standardizing human beings.''' Standardization is a great peril which threatens American culture.

* I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. The only thing that gives me pleasure, apart from my work, my violin, and my sailboat, is the appreciation of my fellow workers.

* I claim credit for nothing. Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.

* '''I am not an Atheist. I do not know if I can define myself as a Pantheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. May I do not reply with a parable? The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of a little child, entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God.''' We see a universe marvelously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations. I am fascinated by Spinoza's Pantheism. I admire even more his contributions to modern thought. Spinoza is the greatest of modern philosophers because he is the first philosopher who deals with the soul and the body as one, not as two separate things.
** Did not appear in ''Saturday Evening Post'' story, but in ''Glimpses of the Great'' (1930) by G. S. Viereck&lt;!-- Macauley, New York --&gt;. There have been [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/spinoza.html disputes on the accuracy] of this quotation.
** Sometimes misquoted as &quot;I don't think I can call myself a pantheist&quot;.
** Variant, from [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA386#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson, p. 386: I'm not an atheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written these books. It does not know-how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws.

* I am fascinated by Spinoza's pantheism, but I admire even more his contribution to modern thought because he is the first philosopher to deal with the soul and body as one, and not two separate things.
** Did not appear in the ''Saturday Evening Post'' story, but quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA387#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson, p. 387, in the section discussing Viereck's interview.

=== 1930s ===
[[File:PennyFarthing.svg|thumb|[[Life]] is like riding a [[bicycle]]. To keep your [[balance]] you must keep [[moving]].]]
[[File:Einstein_and_Tagore_Berlin_14_July_1930.jpg|thumb| I [[believe]] that whatever we do or [[live]] for has its [[causality]]; it is [[good]], however, that we cannot see through to it.]]

* '''Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.'''
** Letter to his son Eduard (5 February 1930), as quoted in [[wikipedia:Walter Isaacson|Walter Isaacson]], ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' (2007), p. 367

* '''I believe that whatever we do or live for has its causality; it is good, however, that we cannot see through to it.'''
** Interview with [[Rabindranath Tagore]] (14 April 1930), published in ''The Religion of Man'' (1930) by Rabindranath Tagore, p. 222, and in ''The Tagore Reader'' (1971) edited by [[wikipedia: Amiya Chakravarty|Amiya Chakravarty]]

* The really good music, whether of the East or of the West, cannot be analyzed.
** Interview with [[Rabindranath Tagore]] (14 April 1930), published in ''The Religion of Man'' (1930) by Rabindranath Tagore, p. 222, and in ''The Tagore Reader'' (1971) edited by Amiya Chakravarty

* I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
** Attributed in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=Af84fBmzmVYC&amp;pg=PA305&amp;dq=Belgenland The Encarta Book of Quotations]'' to an interview on the ''Belgenland'' (December 1930), which was the ship on which he arrived in New York that month. According to ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA18#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 18], the quote also appears as &quot;Aphorism, 1945-1946&quot; in the Einstein Archives 36-570. Calaprice speculates that &quot;perhaps it was recalled later and inserted into the archives under the later date.&quot; According to a snippet on Google Books, the phrase '&quot;I never think of the future,&quot; he said. &quot;It comes soon enough.&quot;' appears in ''The Literary Digest: Volume 107'' on p. 29, in an article titled &quot;We May Not 'Get' Relativity, But We Like Einstein&quot; from [http://books.google.com/books?id=T0A_AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22we+like+einstein%22#search_anchor 27 December 1930]. The [http://books.google.com/books?id=T0A_AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=belgenland+%22I+never+think+of+the+future%22+%22it+comes+soon+enough%22#search_anchor snippet] also discusses the &quot;welcome to Professor Einstein on the ''Belgenland''&quot; in New York

* Besides agreeing with the aims of [[vegetarianism]] for aesthetic and moral reasons, it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence a lot of mankind.
** From a letter to Hermann Huth, Vice-President of the German Vegetarian Federation, 27 December 1930. Supposedly published in German magazine ''Vegetarische Warte'', which existed from 1882 to 1935. Einstein Archive 46-756. Quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2011), [//books.google.it/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;pg=PA453 p. 453]. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0-691-13817-6}}&lt;/small&gt;

* ''Die Diktatur bringt den Maulkorb und dieser die Stumpfheit. Wissenschaft kann nur gedeihen in einer Atmosphäre des Freien Wortes.''
** A dictatorship means muzzles all round and consequently stultification. '''Science can flourish only in an atmosphere of free speech'''.
*** &quot;Science and Dictatorship,&quot; in ''Dictatorship on Its Trial, by Eminent Leaders of Modern Thought'' (1930) - later as ''Dictatorship on Trial'' (1931), Otto Forst de Battaglia (1889-1965), ed., Huntley Paterson, trans., introduction by [[Winston Churchill]], George G. Harrap &amp; Co., (Reprinted 1977, Beaufort Books Inc., {{ISBN|0836916077}} {{ISBN|9780836916072}} p. 107. [https://books.google.com/books?id=IjsiAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=9780836916072&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22only+in+an+atmosphere+of+free+speech%22][https://books.google.com/books?id=alq9M3_8qIcC&amp;dq=9780836916072&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwj9w8nJkYfKAhUL12MKHf5uCscQ6AEIHDAA] [http://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt/search?q1=%22Science%20can%20flourish%20only%20in%20an%20atmosphere%20of%20free%20speech%22;id=uc1.%24b47955;view=1up;seq=9;start=1;sz=10;page=search;orient=0] [http://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/000590821] &lt;small&gt;Original text of this [https://www.google.com/#tbm=bks&amp;q=%22Albert+Einstein+in+his+nineteen+word+essay+on+Science+and+Dictatorship%22 &quot;nineteen word essay&quot;] appears under the German title,  &quot;Wissenschaft und Diktatur&quot; in ''Prozess der Diktatur'' (1930), Otto Forst de Battaglia (1889-1965), ed., Amalthea-Verlag, p.108. [https://books.google.com/books?id=Q9DRAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=editions%3ATP1X5VVtHxAC&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22Die+Diktatur+bringt+den+maulkorb+und+dieser+die+stumpfheit.+Wissenschaft+kann+nur+gedeihen+in+einer+Atmosph%C3%A4re+des+freien+Wortes%22]&lt;/small&gt;

* ''Der Glaube an eine vom wahrnehmenden Subjekt unabhängige Außenwelt liegt aller Naturwissenschaft zugrunde.''
** First sentence of &quot;''Maxwells Einfluss auf die Entwicklung der Auffassung des Physikalisch-Realen''&quot;. Manuscript at the Hebrew University Jerusalem [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Digital/EAR000034102#page/1/mode/2up alberteinstein.info]
** The belief in an external world independent of the perceiving subject is the basis of all natural science.
** From &quot;Maxwell's Influence on the Evolution of the Idea of Physical Reality,&quot; 1931. Available in Einstein Archives: 65-382

* The scientific organization and comprehensive exposition in accessible form of the Talmud has a twofold importance for us Jews. It is important in the first place that the high cultural values of the Talmud should not be lost to modern minds among the Jewish people nor to science, but should operate further as a living force. In the second place, The Talmud must be made an open book to the world, in order to cut the ground from under certain malevolent attacks, of anti-Semitic origin, which borrow countenance from the obscurity and inaccessibility of certain passages in the Talmud.  To support this cultural work would thus mean an important achievement for the Jewish people.
** From a letter by Albert Einstein to Professor Chaim Tchernowitz (31 December 1930) of the Jewish Institute of Religion in New York (Hebrew Union College). Jewish Telegraphic Agency (Jewish Daily Bulletin)

* '''Why does this magnificent applied science which saves work and makes life easier bring us so little happiness? The simple answer runs: Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it.''' In war it serves that we may poison and mutilate each other. In peace it has made our lives hurried and uncertain. Instead of freeing us in great measure from spiritually exhausting labor, it has made men into slaves of machinery, who for the most part complete their monotonous long day's work with disgust and must continually tremble for their poor rations. ... It is not enough that you should understand about applied science in order that your work may increase man's blessings. Concern for the man himself and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavours; concern for the great unsolved problems of the organization of labor and the distribution of goods in order that the creations of our mind shall be a blessing and not a curse to mankind. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
** Speech to students at the California Institute of Technology, in [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50A1FFF3F5E1B7A93C5A81789D85F458385F9&amp;scp=4&amp;sq=&amp;st=p &quot;Einstein Sees Lack in Applying Science&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (16 February 1931)

* &lt;span id=&quot;imagination&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''I believe in intuition and inspiration.''' '''... At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason'''. When the eclipse of 1919 confirmed my intuition, I was not in the least surprised. In fact I would have been astonished had it turned out otherwise. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.'''
** ''Cosmic Religion : With Other Opinions and Aphorisms'' (1931) by Albert Einstein, p. 97; also in ''Transformation : Arts, Communication, Environment'' (1950) by Harry Holtzman, p. 138. This may be an edited version of some nearly identical quotes from the 1929 [[Albert Einstein#Viereck interview (1929)|Viereck interview]] below.

* Everyone sits in the prison of his own ideas; he must burst it open, and that in his youth, and so try to test his ideas on reality.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=cvlOAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22Everyone+sits+in+the+prison+of+his+own+ideas+he+must+burst+it+open+and+that+in+his+youth+and+so+try+to+test+his+ideas+on+reality%22&amp;pg=PA104#v=onepage ''Miscellaneous''], ''Cosmic Religion'', p. 104 (1931)

* I see a clock, but I cannot envision the clockmaker. The human mind is unable to conceive of the four dimensions, so how can it conceive of a God, before whom a thousand years and a thousand dimensions are as one?
** From ''Cosmic Religion: with Other Opinions and Aphorisms'' (1931), Albert Einstein, pub. Covici-Friede. Quoted in ''The Expanded Quotable Einstein'', Princeton University Press; 2nd edition (May 30, 2000); Page 208, {{ISBN|0691070210}}

* As an eminent pioneer in the realm of high frequency currents... I congratulate you on the great successes of your life's work.
** [http://www.teslasociety.com/einsteinletter.jpg Einstein's letter] to [[Nikola Tesla]] for Tesla's 75th birthday (1931)

* '''Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.'''
** &quot;My Credo&quot;, a speech to the German League of Human Rights, Berlin (Autumn 1932), as published in ''Einstein: A Life in Science'' (1994) by Michael White and John Gribbin, p. 262.

[[File:Crystal_DNA.jpg|thumb|It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.]]
* Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
** In answer to a question asked by the editors of ''Youth'', a journal of Young Israel of Williamsburg, NY. Quoted in the ''New York Times'', June 20, 1932, [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F40617F83B5A13738DDDA90A94DE405B828FF1D3 pg. 17]
** Unsourced variant: Only a life in the service of others is worth living.

* '''Our experience hitherto justifies us in trusting that nature is the realization of the simplest that is mathematically conceivable.''' I am convinced that purely mathematical construction enables us to find those concepts and those lawlike connections between them that provide the key to the understanding of natural phenomena. Useful mathematical concepts may well be suggested by experience, but in no way can they be derived from it. Experience naturally remains the sole criterion of the usefulness of a mathematical construction for physics. But the actual creative principle lies in mathematics. Thus, in a certain sense, '''I take it to be true that pure thought can grasp the real, as the ancients had dreamed.'''
** from ''On the Method of Theoretical Physics'', p. 183. The Herbert Spencer Lecture, delivered at Oxford (10 June 1933). Quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ Einstein's Philosophy of Science]

{{anchor|simplicity_limit}}
* '''It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.'''
** &quot;On the Method of Theoretical Physics&quot; The Herbert Spencer Lecture, delivered at Oxford (10 June 1933); also published in ''Philosophy of Science'', Vol. 1, No. 2 (April 1934), pp. 163-169., p. 165. [thanks to Dr. Techie @ www.wordorigins.org and JSTOR]
** There is a quote attributed to Einstein that may have arisen as a paraphrase of the above quote, commonly given as &quot;'''Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler,'''&quot; &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler&quot;, or &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot; See [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/05/13/einstein-simple/ this article from the Quote Investigator] for a discussion of where these later variants may have arisen.
** The original quote is very similar to [[wikipedia: Occam's razor|Occam's razor]], which advocates that among all hypotheses compatible with all available observations, the simplest hypothesis is the most plausible one.
** The aphorism &quot;everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler&quot; is normally taken to be a warning against too much simplicity and emphasizes that one cannot simplify things to a point where the hypothesis is no more compatible with all observations. The aphorism does not contradict or extend Occam's razor, but rather stresses that both elements of the razor, simplicity and compatibility with the observations, are essential.
** The earliest known appearance of Einstein's razor is an essay by Roger Sessions in the ''New York Times'' (8 January 1950)[http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30615FE3559137A93CAA9178AD85F448585F9], where Sessions appears to be paraphrasing Einstein: &quot;I also remember a remark of Albert Einstein, which certainly applies to music. He said, in effect, that everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.&quot;
** Another early appearance, from ''Time'' magazine (14 December 1962)[http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,872923,00.html]: &quot;We try to keep in mind a saying attributed to Einstein—that everything must be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.&quot;

* Force always attracts men of low morality.
** [[Special:BookSources/0806527900|''The World As I See It'']], Einstein, Citadel Press (reprint 2006; originally published in 1934), p. 5

* There is not the slightest indication that [nuclear energy] will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.
** As quoted in &quot;Atom Energy Hope is Spiked By Einstein / Efforts at Loosing Vast Force is Called Fruitless,&quot; ''Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' (29 December 1934); it was only after the breakthroughs by [[Enrico Fermi]] and others in producing nuclear chain reactions that the use of nuclear power became plausible.

* In light of knowledge obtained, the happy achievement seems almost a matter of course, and any intelligent student can grasp it without too much trouble. But '''the years of anxious searching in the dark, with their intense longing, their alternations of confidence and exhaustion, and final emergence into light—only those who have experienced it can understand that.'''
** &quot;Notes on the Origin of the General Theory of Relativity&quot; (1934) ''Mein Weltbild'', in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) ed., {{w|Carl Seelig}}.

* I never failed in mathematics. Before I was fifteen I had mastered differential and integral calculus.
** Response to being shown a &quot;Ripley's Believe It or Not!&quot; column with the headline &quot;Greatest Living Mathematician Failed in Mathematics&quot; in 1935. Quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA16#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 16]

* All of science is nothing more than the refinement of everyday thinking.
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in the ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' Vol. 221, Issue 3 (March 1936)
** Variant translation: &quot;The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.&quot; As it appears in the &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; section of the book &quot;Out of My Later Years&quot; by Albert Einstein (1950)

* It has often been said, and certainly not without justification, that the man of science is a poor philosopher. Why then should it not be the right thing for the physicist to let the philosopher do the philosophizing? Such might indeed be the right thing to do at a time when the physicist believes he has at his disposal a rigid system of fundamental laws which are so well established that waves of doubt can't reach them; but it cannot be right at a time when the very foundations of physics itself have become problematic as they are now. At a time like the present, when experience forces us to seek a newer and more solid foundation, the physicist cannot simply surrender to the philosopher the critical contemplation of theoretical foundations; for he himself knows best and feels more surely where the shoe pinches. In looking for an new foundation, he must try to make clear in his own mind just how far the concepts which he uses are justified, and are necessities.
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in the ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' Vol. 221, Issue 3 (March 1936), Pages 349-382

[[File:Square1.jpg|thumb|[[All]] [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]...]]
[[File:Gandhi_Simla_1939.jpg|thumb|Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce [[believe]] that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this [[Earth]].]]
* '''One may say &quot;the eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.&quot;'''
** From the article &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; (March 1936), reprinted in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1956). The quotation marks may just indicate that he wants to present this as a new aphorism, but it could possibly indicate that he is paraphrasing or quoting someone else — perhaps [[Immanuel Kant]], since in the next sentence he says &quot;It is one of the great realizations of Immanuel Kant that the setting up of a real external world would be senseless without this comprehensibility.&quot;&lt;br /&gt; '''''Other variants:'''''
** '''The eternally incomprehensible thing about the world is its comprehensibility.'''
*** In the endnotes to ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson, note 46 on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA628#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 628] says that &quot;Gerald Holton says that this is more properly translated&quot; as the variant above, citing Holton's essay &quot;What Precisely is Thinking?&quot; on p. 161 of ''Einstein: A Centenary Volume'' edited by Anthony Philip French.
** '''The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.'''
*** This version was given in ''Einstein: A Biography'' (1954) by Antonina Vallentin, p. 24, and widely quoted afterwards. Vallentin cites &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; in ''Journal of the Franklin Institute'' (March 1936), and is possibly giving a variant translation as with Holton.
** '''The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.'''
*** As quoted in ''Speaking of Science'' (2000) by Michael Fripp
** '''The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility ... The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle.'''
*** As quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson, [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA462#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 462]. In the original essay &quot;The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle&quot; appears at the end of the paragraph that follows the paragraph in which &quot;The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility&quot; appears.

* Everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that some spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe, one that is vastly superior to that of man.
** Letter to Phyllis Wright (January 24, 1936), published in ''Dear Professor Einstein: Albert Einstein's Letters to and from Children'' (Prometheus Books, 2002), p. 129

* '''All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.''' It is no mere chance that our older universities developed from clerical schools. Both churches and universities — insofar as they live up to their true function — serve the ennoblement of the individual. They seek to fulfill this great task by spreading moral and cultural understanding, renouncing the use of brute force. &lt;br /&gt; The essential unity of ecclesiastical and secular institutions was lost during the 19th century, to the point of senseless hostility. Yet there was never any doubt as to the striving for culture. No one doubted the sacredness of the goal. It was the approach that was disputed.
** &quot;Moral Decay&quot; (1937); Later published in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950)

* '''Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the external world.''' In our endeavor to understand reality we are somewhat like a man trying to understand the mechanism of a closed watch. He sees the face and the moving hands, even hears its ticking, but he has no way of opening the case. If he is ingenious he may form some picture of a mechanism which could be responsible for all the things he observes, but he may never be quite sure his picture is the only one which could explain his observations. '''He will never be able to compare his picture with the real mechanism and he cannot even imagine the possibility or the meaning of such a comparison.''' But he certainly believes that, as his knowledge increases, his picture of reality will become simpler and simpler and will explain a wider and wider range of his sensuous impressions. '''He may also believe in the existence of the ideal limit of knowledge and that it is approached by the human mind. He may call this ideal limit the objective truth.'''
** ''The Evolution of Physics'' (1938) (co-written with [[Leopold Infeld]]) &lt;!-- later published by Simon &amp; Schuster (1967) --&gt;

* Fundamental ideas play the most essential role in forming a physical theory. Books on physics are full of complicated mathematical formulae. But thought and ideas, not formulae, are the beginning of every physical theory. The ideas must later take the mathematical form of a quantitative theory, to make possible the comparison with experiment.
** ''The Evolution of Physics'' (1938) (co-written with [[Leopold Infeld]]) &lt;!-- later published by Simon &amp; Schuster (1967) --&gt;

* The moral decline we are compelled to witness and the suffering it engenders are so oppressive that one cannot ignore them even for a moment. No matter how deeply one immerses oneself in work, a haunting feeling of inescapable tragedy persists. '''Still, there are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments, one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable: life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only being.'''
** Letter to Queen Mother Elisabeth of Belgium (9 January 1939), asking for her help in getting an elderly cousin of his out of Germany and into Belgium. Quoted in ''Einstein on Peace'' edited by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), p. 282

* The standard bearers have grown weak in the defense of their priceless heritage, and the powers of darkness have been strengthened thereby. '''Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character'''; it becomes lack of power to act with courage proportionate to danger. All this must lead to the destruction of our intellectual life unless the danger summons up strong personalities able to fill the lukewarm and discouraged with new strength and resolution.
** Speech made in honor of Thomas Mann in January 1939, when Mann was given the Einstein Prize by the Jewish Forum. Quoted in ''Einstein Lived Here'' by Abraham Pais (1994), [http://books.google.com/books?id=u_9QAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22becomes+lack+of+power%22#search_anchor p. 214]

* '''Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce believe that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this Earth.'''
** Statement on the occasion of Gandhi's 70th birthday (1939) Einstein archive 32-601, published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;pg=PA240&amp;lpg=PA240&amp;dq=einstein+%22out+of+my+later+years%22+%22will+scarce+believe%22&amp;source=web&amp;ots=xRZlwUOcEY&amp;sig=0oe_RZgwXaNYtrIGz-XDqmfWna0 Out of My Later Years]'' (1950).
** Variant: Generations to come, it may be, will scarcely believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.

* Some recent work by [[Enrico Fermi|E. Fermi]] and [[wikipedia:Leo Szilard|L. Szilard]], which has been communicated to me in manuscript, leads me to expect that the element uranium may be turned into a new and important source of energy in the immediate future. Certain aspects of the situation seem to call for watchfulness and, if necessary, quick action on the part of the Administration...  This new phenomenon would also lead to the construction of bombs, and it is conceivable—though much less certain—that extremely powerful bombs of a new type may thus be constructed. A single bomb of this type, carried by boat or exploded in a port, might very well destroy the whole port together with some of the surrounding territory. However, such bombs might very well prove to be too heavy for transportation by air.
** Letter to President [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] (August 2, 1939, delivered October 11, 1939); reported in ''Einstein on Peace'', ed. Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960, reprinted 1981), pp. 294–95

==== Wisehart interview (1930) ====
: &lt;small&gt;M. K. Wisehart, ''A Close Look at the World's Greatest Thinker'', American Magazine, June 1930. Quotes from the interview appear on pp. 52-53 of [http://books.google.com/books?id=l_Gktz_D7FIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA52#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Twelve Powers of Man] by Charles Fillmore&lt;/small&gt;
* Every man knows that in his work he does best and accomplishes most when he has attained a proficiency that enables him to work intuitively. That is, there are things which we come to know so well that we do not know how we know them. So it seems to me in matters of principle. Perhaps we live best and do things best when we are not too conscious of how and why we do them.

* I do not believe in a God who maliciously or arbitrarily interferes in the personal affairs of mankind. '''My religion consists of a humble admiration for the vast power which manifests itself in that small part of the universe which our poor, weak minds can grasp!'''

* '''Much reading after a certain age diverts the mind from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking,''' just as the man who spends too much time in the theaters is apt to be content with living vicariously instead of living his own life.

* I have only two rules which I regard as principles of conduct. The first is: Have no rules. The second is: Be independent of the opinion of others.

==== ''Religion and Science'' (1930) ====
[[File:Nebulabrot (5000, 500, 50).png|thumb|Everything that the [[human]] race has done and [[thought]] is concerned with the [[satisfaction]] of deeply felt [[needs]] and the assuagement of [[pain]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;Originally written for the ''New York Times Magazine'' (9 November 1930); a version with altered wording appeared in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:San Francisco de Asís, por José de Ribera.jpg|thumb|We find precisely among the heretics of all ages men who were inspired by this highest [[religious]] experience; often they appeared to their contemporaries as [[atheists]], but sometimes also as [[saints]]. Viewed from this angle, men like [[Democritus]], [[Francis of Assisi]], and [[Spinoza]] are near to one another.]]
[[File:Cristo_degli_abissi.jpg|thumb|It is the most important function of [[art]] and [[science]] to awaken this [[feeling]] and keep it [[alive]] in those who are receptive to it.]]
[[File:Spirale_Ulam_150.jpg|thumb|The individual feels the vanity of human desires and aims, and the nobility and marvelous order which are revealed in nature and in the world of thought.]]
[[File:Orbitals7.png|thumb|A contemporary has rightly said that the only deeply [[religious]] [[people]] of our largely [[materialistic]] age are the earnest men of research.]]

* '''Everything that men do or think concerns the satisfaction of the needs they feel or the escape from pain.''' This must be kept in mind when we seek to understand spiritual or intellectual movements and the way in which they develop. For feelings and longings are the motive forces of all human striving and productivity—however nobly these latter may display themselves to us.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': '''Everything that the human race has done and thought is concerned with the satisfaction of deeply felt needs and the assuagement of pain.''' One has to keep this constantly in mind if one wishes to understand spiritual movements and their development. Feeling and longing are the motive force behind all human endeavor and human creation, in however exalted a guise the latter may present themselves to us.

* The longing for guidance, for love and succor, provides the stimulus for the growth of a social or moral conception of God. This is the God of Providence, who protects, decides, rewards and punishes. This is the God who, according to man's widening horizon, loves and provides for the life of the race, or of mankind, or who even loves life itself. He is the comforter in unhappiness and in unsatisfied longing, the protector of the souls of the dead. This is the social or moral idea of God.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The desire for guidance, love, and support prompts men to form the social or moral conception of God. This is the God of Providence, who protects, disposes, rewards, and punishes; the God who, according to the limits of the believer's outlook, loves and cherishes the life of the tribe or of the human race, or even life itself; the comforter in sorrow and unsatisfied longing; he who preserves the souls of the dead. This is the social or moral conception of God.

* It is easy to follow in the sacred writings of the Jewish people the development of the religion of fear into the moral religion, which is carried further in the New Testament. The religions of all civilized peoples, especially those of the Orient, are principally moral religions. '''An important advance in the life of a people is the transformation of the religion of fear into the moral religion. But one must avoid the prejudice that regards the religions of primitive peoples as pure fear religions and those of the civilized races as pure moral religions. All are mixed forms, though the moral element predominates in the higher levels of social life.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The Jewish scriptures admirably illustrate the development from the religion of fear to moral religion, a development continued in the New Testament. The religions of all civilized peoples, especially the peoples of the Orient, are primarily moral religions. '''The development from a religion of fear to moral religion is a great step in peoples' lives. And yet, that primitive religions are based entirely on fear and the religions of civilized peoples purely on morality is a prejudice against which we must be on our guard. The truth is that all religions are a varying blend of both types, with this differentiation: that on the higher levels of social life the religion of morality predominates.'''

* Common to all these types is the anthropomorphic character of the idea of God. Only exceptionally gifted individuals or especially noble communities rise ''essentially'' above this level; in these there is found a third level of religious experience, even if it is seldom found in a pure form. I will call it the cosmic religious sense. '''This is hard to make clear to those who do not experience it, since it does not involve an anthropomorphic idea of God; the individual feels the vanity of human desires and aims, and the nobility and marvelous order which are revealed in nature and in the world of thought.''' He feels the individual destiny as an imprisonment and seeks to experience the totality of existence as a unity full of significance. Indications of this cosmic religious sense can be found even on earlier levels of development—for example, in the Psalms of David and in the Prophets. The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism, as, in particular, [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s magnificent essays have shown us. '''The religious geniuses of all times have been distinguished by this cosmic religious sense, which recognizes neither dogmas nor God made in man's image. Consequently there cannot be a church whose chief doctrines are based on the cosmic religious experience. It comes about, therefore, that we find precisely among the heretics of all ages men who were inspired by this highest religious experience; often they appeared to their contemporaries as atheists, but sometimes also as saints. Viewed from this angle, men like [[Democritus]], [[Francis of Assisi]], and [[Spinoza]] are near to one another.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': Common to all these types is the anthropomorphic character of their conception of God. In general, only individuals of exceptional endowments, and exceptionally high-minded communities, rise to any considerable extent above this level. But there is a third stage of religious experience which belongs to all of them, even though it is rarely found in a pure form: I shall call it cosmic religious feeling. '''It is very difficult to elucidate this feeling to anyone who is entirely without it, especially as there is no anthropomorphic conception of God corresponding to it. The individual feels the futility of human desires and aims and the sublimity and marvelous order which reveal themselves both in nature and in the world of thought.''' Individual existence impresses him as a sort of prison and he wants to experience the universe as a single significant whole. The beginnings of cosmic religious feeling already appear at an early stage of development, e.g., in many of the Psalms of David and in some of the Prophets. Buddhism, as we have learned especially from the wonderful writings of Schopenhauer, contains a much stronger element of this. '''The religious geniuses of all ages have been distinguished by this kind of religious feeling, which knows no dogma and no God conceived in man's image; so that there can be no church whose central teachings are based on it. Hence it is precisely among the heretics of every age that we find men who were filled with this highest kind of religious feeling and were in many cases regarded by their contemporaries as atheists, sometimes also as saints. Looked at in this light, men like Democritus, Francis of Assisi, and Spinoza are closely akin to one another.'''

* '''How can this cosmic religious experience be communicated from man to man, if it cannot lead to a definite conception of God or to a theology? It seems to me that the most important function of art and of science is to arouse and keep alive this feeling in those who are receptive.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': '''How can cosmic religious feeling be communicated from one person to another, if it can give rise to no definite notion of a God and no theology? In my view, it is the most important function of art and science to awaken this feeling and keep it alive in those who are receptive to it.'''

* For any one who is pervaded with the sense of causal law in all that happens, who accepts in real earnest the assumption of causality, the idea of Being who interferes with the sequence of events in the world is absolutely impossible. Neither the religion of fear nor the social-moral religion can have any hold on him. A God who rewards and punishes is for him unthinkable, because man acts in accordance with an inner and outer necessity, and would, in the eyes of God, be as little responsible as an inanimate object is for the movements which it makes. '''Science, in consequence, has been accused of undermining morals—but wrongly. The ethical behavior of man is better based on sympathy, education and social relationships, and requires no support from religion. Man's plight would, indeed, be sad if he had to be kept in order through fear of punishment and hope of rewards after death.'''
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation cannot for a moment entertain the idea of a being who interferes in the course of events — provided, of course, that he takes the hypothesis of causality really seriously. He has no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion. A God who rewards and punishes is inconceivable to him for the simple reason that a man's actions are determined by necessity, external and internal, so that in God's eyes he cannot be responsible, any more than an inanimate object is responsible for the motions it undergoes. '''Science has therefore been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hopes of reward after death.'''
**
**

* It is, therefore, quite natural that the churches have always fought against science and have persecuted its supporters. But, on the other hand, '''I assert that the cosmic religious experience is the strongest and noblest driving force behind scientific research.''' No one who does not appreciate the terrific exertions, and, above all, the devotion without which pioneer creations in scientific thought cannot come into being, can judge the strength of the feeling out of which alone such work, turned away as it is from immediate practical life, can grow. What a '''deep faith in the rationality of the structure of the world''' and what a longing to understand even a small glimpse of the reason revealed in the world there must have been in [[Johannes Kepler|Kepler]] and [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] to enable them to unravel the mechanism of the heavens in long years of lonely work! '''Any one who only knows scientific research in its practical applications may easily come to a wrong interpretation of the state of mind of the men who, surrounded by skeptical contemporaries, have shown the way to kindred spirits scattered over all countries in all centuries.''' Only those who have dedicated their lives to similar ends can have a living conception of the inspiration which gave these men the power to remain loyal to their purpose in spite of countless failures. It is the cosmic religious sense which grants this power. A contemporary has rightly said that the only deeply religious people of our largely materialistic age are the earnest men of research.
** Wording in ''Ideas and Opinions'': It is therefore easy to see why the churches have always fought science and persecuted its devotees. On the other hand, '''I maintain that the cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest motive for scientific research.''' Only those who realize the immense efforts and, above all, the devotion without which pioneer work in theoretical science cannot be achieved are able to grasp the strength of the emotion out of which alone such work, remote as it is from the immediate realities of life, can issue. What a '''deep conviction of the rationality of the universe''' and what a yearning to understand, were it but a feeble reflection of the mind revealed in this world, Kepler and Newton must have had to enable them to spend years of solitary labor in disentangling the principles of celestial mechanics! '''Those whose acquaintance with scientific research is derived chiefly from its practical results easily develop a completely false notion of the mentality of the men who, surrounded by a skeptical world, have shown the way to kindred spirits scattered wide through the world and through the centuries.''' Only one who has devoted his life to similar ends can have a vivid realization of what has inspired these men and given them the strength to remain true to their purpose in spite of countless failures. It is cosmic religious feeling that gives a man such strength. A contemporary has said, not unjustly, that in this materialistic age of ours the serious scientific workers are the only profoundly religious people.

==== ''Mein Weltbild (My World-view)'' (1931) ====
[[File:Schopenhauer.jpg|thumb|[[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s saying, that &quot;a man can do as he [[will]], but not will as he will,&quot; has been an [[inspiration]] to me since my youth up, and a continual consolation and unfailing well-spring of [[patience]] in the face of the hardships of [[life]]...]]
: &lt;small&gt;&quot;Mein Weltbild&quot; (1931) [&quot;My World-view&quot;, or &quot;My View of the World&quot; or &quot;The World as I See It&quot;], translated as the title essay of the book ''[[wikipedia:The World as I See It (book)|The World as I See It]]'' (1949). Various translated editions have been published of this essay; or portions of it, including one titled &quot;What I Believe&quot;; another compilation which includes it is ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) &lt;!-- There are sometimes confusing citations or even apparently contradictory dating of various essays by Einstein or their translations, especially of this one --&gt; &lt;/small&gt;

* '''How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it.''' But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. '''A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...''' .

* I am strongly drawn to the simple life and am often oppressed by the feeling that I am engrossing an unnecessary amount of the labour of my fellow-men. '''I regard class differences as contrary to justice and, in the last resort, based on force. I also consider that plain living is good for everybody, physically and mentally.'''

* '''In human freedom in the philosophical sense I am definitely a disbeliever. Everybody acts not only under external compulsion but also in accordance with inner necessity.''' [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s saying, that &quot;'''a man can do as he will, but not will as he will''',&quot; has been an inspiration to me since my youth up, and a continual consolation and unfailing well-spring of patience in the face of the hardships of life, my own and others'. '''This feeling mercifully mitigates the sense of responsibility which so easily becomes paralyzing, and it prevents us from taking ourselves and other people too seriously; it conduces to a view of life in which humor, above all, has its due place.'''

* '''I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves — this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth.''' Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts — possessions, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible.
** Variant translation: I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves — such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. Without the sense of fellowship with men of like mind, of preoccupation with the objective, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific research, life would have seemed to me empty. The ordinary objects of human endeavor — property, outward success, luxury — have always seemed to me contemptible.

* I gang my own gait and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties I have never lost an obstinate sense of detachment, of the need for solitude — a feeling which increases with the years.
** Variant translation: '''I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude...'''

[[File:A_Horseshoe_Einstein_Ring_from_Hubble.JPG|thumb|The most [[beautiful]] [[experience]] we can have is the [[mysterious]]. It is the fundamental [[emotion]] that stands at the cradle of true [[art]] and true [[science]]...]]
* '''The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.''' It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. '''A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man.''' 
** Variant translations: The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms — it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.
** The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man. To know that what is impenetrable for us really exists and manifests itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, whose gross forms alone are intelligible to our poor faculties — this knowledge, this feeling ... that is the core of the true religious sentiment. In this sense, and in this sense alone, I rank myself among profoundly religious men.
** As quoted in ''After Einstein : Proceedings of the Einstein Centennial Celebration'' (1981) by Peter Barker and Cecil G. Shugart, p. 179
** The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
*** As quoted in ''Introduction to Philosophy'' (1935) by George Thomas White Patrick and Frank Miller Chapman, p. 44
** The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. '''He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle'''. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man.&quot;
** He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
[[File:An Emu in the Sky over Paranal.jpg|thumb|He...who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle.]]
* '''I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own — a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms.'''
** As quoted in ''European Civilization and Politics Since 1815'' (1938) by Erik Achorn, p. 723. amd in his obituary in ''The New York Times'' (19 April 1955)
** Variant translation: '''I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls.'''
*** As quoted in ''The Heretic's Handbook of Quotations: Cutting Comments on Burning Issues'' (1992) by Charles Bufe, p. 186

* '''It is enough for me to contemplate the mystery of conscious life perpetuating itself through all eternity, to reflect upon the marvelous structure of the universe which we dimly perceive, and to try humbly to comprehend an infinitesimal part of the intelligence manifested in nature.'''
** As quoted in ''Introduction to Philosophy'' (1935) by George Thomas White Patrick and Frank Miller Chapman, p. 44
** Variant translations:
** '''I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence — as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.''' 
** Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavor to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.

* ''Zahlreich sind die Lehrkanzeln, aber selten die weisen und edlen Lehrer. Zahlreich und groß sind die Hörsäle, doch wenig zahlreich die jungen Menschen, die ehrlich nach Wahrheit und Gerechtigkeit dürsten. Zahlreich spendet die Natur ihre Dutzendware, aber das Feinere erzeugt sie selten''.
** Numerous are the academic chairs, but rare are wise and noble teachers. Numerous and large are the lecture halls, but far from numerous the young men who genuinely thirst for truth and justice. Numerous are the wares that nature produces by the dozen, but her choice products are few.

==== ''My Credo'' (1932) ====
[[File:Marie_Curie_and_Albert_Einstein.jpg|thumb| Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for [[truth]], [[beauty]], and [[justice]] has preserved me from feeling isolated.]]
: &lt;small&gt;Speech to the German League of Human Rights, Berlin (Autumn 1932); as published in ''Einstein: A Life in Science'' (1994) by Michael White and John Gribbin&lt;!-- p. 262 Dutton, Penguin Books USA Inc., New York --&gt;. This repeats or revises some statements and ideas of ''Mein Weltbild'' (1931) · [http://www.einstein-website.de/z_biography/credo.html Full text online] · [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/credo.html alternate online source]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Our situation on this earth seems strange.''' Every one of us appears here involuntarily and uninvited for a short stay, without knowing the whys and the wherefore. In our daily lives we only feel that man is here for the sake of others, for those whom we love and for many other beings whose fate is connected with our own. '''I am often worried at the thought that my life is based to such a large extent on the work of my fellow human beings and I am aware of my great indebtedness to them.'''

* '''I do not believe in freedom of the will. [[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer]]'s words: &quot;Man can do what he wants, but he cannot will what he wills&quot; accompany me in all situations throughout my life and reconcile me with the actions of others even if they are rather painful to me. This awareness of the lack of freedom of will preserves me from taking too seriously myself and my fellow men as acting and deciding individuals and from losing my temper.'''
** Variant translation:
** '''I do not believe in [[free will]].''' [[Schopenhauer]]'s words: 'Man can do what he wants, but he cannot will what he wills,' accompany me in all situations throughout my life and reconcile me with the actions of others, even if they are rather painful to me. '''This awareness of the lack of free will keeps me from taking myself and my fellow men too seriously as acting and deciding individuals, and from losing my temper.'''

* '''My passion for social justice has often brought me into conflict with people, as has my aversion to any obligation and dependence I did not regard as absolutely necessary.''' &lt;br /&gt; I have a high regard for the individual and an insuperable distaste for violence and fanaticism. All these motives have made me a passionate pacifist and antimilitarist. I am against any chauvinism, even in the guise of mere patriotism. &lt;br /&gt; '''Privileges based on position and property have always seemed to me unjust and pernicious, as does any exaggerated personality cult. I am an adherent of the ideal of democracy, although I know well the weaknesses of the democratic form of government.''' Social equality and economic protection of the individual have always seemed to me the important communal aims of the state.&lt;br /&gt; Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice keeps me from feeling isolated.

* '''The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind.''' To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness. &lt;br /&gt; In this sense I am religious. To me it suffices to wonder at these secrets and to attempt humbly to grasp with my mind a mere image of the lofty structure of all that there is.

==== (1933) ====

* '''According to my conviction it cannot be doubted that the severe economic depression is to be traced back for the most part to internal economic causes; the improvement in the apparatus of production through technical invention and organization has decreased the need for human labor, and thereby caused the elimination of a part of labor from the economic circuit, and thereby caused a progressive decrease in the purchasing power of the consumers.''' - as quoted in Robert Shiller's 2020 lecture at Princeton&lt;ref&gt;https://bcf.princeton.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Combined-Slides-4.pdf&lt;/ref&gt;

==== (1934) ====
* '''All knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it. Propositions arrived at by purely logical means are completely empty as regards reality. Because Galileo saw this, and particularly because he drummed it into the scientific world, he is the father of modern physics – indeed, of modern science altogether.'''
** Albert Einstein (2009) [1934]. &quot;On the Method of Theoretical Physics&quot;. Einstein's essays in science. Translated by Alan Harris. Dover. pp. 12–21. ISBN 9780486470115. 

==== ''Obituary for Emmy Noether'' (1935) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Emmy Noether'', letter to the Editor of The New York Times, published May 5, 1935 [http://www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Obits2/Noether_Emmy_Einstein.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* The efforts of most human-beings are consumed in the struggle for their daily bread, but most of those who are, either through fortune or some special gift, relieved of this struggle are largely absorbed in further improving their worldly lot. '''Beneath the effort directed toward the accumulation of worldly goods lies all too frequently the illusion that this is the most substantial and desirable end to be achieved; but there is, fortunately, a minority composed of those who recognize early in their lives that the most beautiful and satisfying experiences open to humankind are not derived from the outside, but are bound up with the development of the individual's own feeling, thinking and acting.''' The genuine artists, investigators and thinkers have always been persons of this kind. However inconspicuously the life of these individuals runs its course, none the less the fruits of their endeavors are the most valuable contributions which one generation can make to its successors.

* '''In the judgment of the most competent living mathematicians, Fräulein Noether was the most significant creative mathematical genius thus far produced since the higher education of women began.'''

* '''[[Pure mathematics]] is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas. One seeks the most general ideas of operation which will bring together in simple, logical and unified form the largest possible circle of formal relationships. In this effort toward logical beauty spiritual formulas are discovered necessary for the deeper penetration into the laws of nature.'''

====Why Do They Hate the Jews (1938)====
:November 26, 1938 issue of Collier's
*The Jews as a group may be powerless, but the sum of the achievements of their individual members is everywhere considerable and telling, even though those achievements were made in the face of obstacles.
**affirmed on page 213 of The Ultimate Quotable Einstein

*anti-Semitism is nothing but the antagonistic attitude produced in non-Jews by the Jewish group. This is a normal social reaction.
**affirmed on [https://books.google.ca/books?id=OAsQ_hFjhrAC&amp;pg=PA70 page 70 of Einstein from 'B' to 'Z' by John Stachel in 2001]

=== 1940s ===
[[File:Albert_Einstein_photo_1920.jpg|thumb|Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds...]]
[[File:Citizen-Einstein.jpg|thumb| Why is it nobody [[understands]] me and everybody likes me?]]
* '''Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.'''
** Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of [[Bertrand Russell]] to a teaching position (19 March 1940).
** Variant:&lt;!-- Variant translation? or a paraphrase? --&gt; Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thoughts in clear form.

* The development during the present century is characterized by two theoretical systems essentially independent of each other: the [[theory of relativity]] and the [[quantum theory]]. The two systems do not directly contradict each other; but they seem little adapted to fusion into one unified theory.
** &quot;The Fundamentals of Theoretical Physics,&quot; (1940) as quoted in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1976)

* '''Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem—in my opinion—to characterize our age.'''
** &quot;The Common Language of Science&quot;, a broadcast for Science, Conference, London, 28 September 1941. Published in ''Advancement of Science'', London, Vol. 2, No. 5. Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), the quote appearing on [http://books.google.com/books?id=OeUoXHoAJMsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT357#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page].

* People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.
** In a letter to Otto Juliusburger, September 29, 1942. Available in Einstein Archives 38-238

* '''Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.'''
** Letter to high school student Barbara Lee Wilson (7 January 1943), Einstein Archives 42-606

*'''Without Russia [ [[Soviet Union]] ], the [[Germany|German]] bloodhounds would have already achieved their goal, or would achive it very soon... We and our children owe a great debt of gratitude to the Russian people for having experienced such immense losses and suffering. [ Soviet Union's ] conduct of the war has made obvious her great achievement in all industrial and technical fields... and in the limitless sacrifice and exemplary self-denial of every single individual, I see proof of a strong and universal will to defend what they have won... finally, a fact of particular importance to us Jews. In Russia the equality of all national and cultural groups is not merely nominal but is actually practiced.'''
** As quoted in [https://books.google.it/books?id=weECGK2rChcC The Einstein File: J. Edgar Hoover's Secret War Against the World's Most Famous Scientist, p. 146], (2003) by Fred Jerome 

* '''Why is it nobody understands me and everybody likes me?'''
** As quoted in New York Times article [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00713FA3A58157A93C0A81788D85F408485F9 &quot;The Einstein Theory of Living; At 65 he leads the simplest of lives — and grapples with the most complex thoughts.&quot;] (12 March 1944)
** Variants:
** '''Why is it that nobody understands me, yet everybody likes me?'''
*** As quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=-5SxGKrTRUEC&amp;pg=PA126 ''The Dark Side of Shakespeare : An Elizabethan Courtier, Diplomat, Spymaster, &amp; Epic Hero'', p. 126] (2003) by W. Ron Hess
** '''Everyone likes me, yet nobody understands me.'''
*** As quoted in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337/ &quot;The culture of Einstein&quot; at ''MSNBC'' (18 March 2005)]

* I fully agree with you about the significance and educational value of [[methodology]] as well as history and philosophy of science. '''So many people today — and even professional [[scientists]] — seem to me like someone who has seen thousands of trees but has never seen a forest. A knowledge of the historic and philosophical background gives that kind of independence from prejudices of his generation from which most scientists are suffering. This independence created by philosophical insight is — in my opinion — the mark of distinction between a mere artisan or specialist and a real seeker after truth.'''
** Letter to Robert A. Thorton, Physics Professor at University of Puerto Rico (7 December 1944) [EA-674, Einstein Archive, Hebrew University, Jerusalem]. Thorton had written to Einstein on persuading colleagues of the importance of [[wikipedia:Philosophy of science|philosophy of science]] to scientists (empiricists) and [[wikipedia:Science|science]].

* '''The words or the language, as they are written or spoken, do not seem to play any role in my mechanism of thought.''' The psychical entities which seem to serve as elements in thoughts are certain signs and more or less clear images which can be &quot;voluntarily&quot; reproduced and combined. There is, of course, a certain connection between those elements and [[relevant]] logical concepts. It is also clear that the desire to arrive finally at logically connected concepts is the emotional basis of this rather vague play with the above-mentioned elements. . . . The above-mentioned elements are, in my case, of visual and some muscular type. '''Conventional words or other signs have to be sought for laboriously only in a secondary stage, when the mentioned associative play is sufficiently established and can be reproduced at will.'''
** Answer to a survey written by the French mathematician Jaques Hadamard, from Hadamard's ''An Essay on the Psychology of Invention in the Mathematical Field'' (1945). Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954). His full set of answers to the questions can be read on p. 3 [http://www.pitt.edu/~jdnorton/Goodies/Einstein_think/index.html here].

* Certain it is that a conviction, akin to religious feeling, of the rationality or intelligibility of the world lies behind all scientific work of a higher order. ... This firm belief, a belief bound up with deep feeling, in a superior mind that reveals itself in the world of experience, represents my conception of God.
** 'Essays in Science ''(1934) p. 11. Reprinted in'' Ideas and Opinions On Scientific Truth ''(1954) p. 261, Crown Publishers, Inc. New York, New York, USA, 1954, {{ISBN|0679601058}}.''

* '''I received your letter of June 10th. I have never talked to a Jesuit priest in my life and I am astonished by the audacity to tell such lies about me. From the viewpoint of a Jesuit priest I am, of course, and have always been an atheist.'''
** Letter to Guy H. Raner Jr. (2 July 1945), responding to a rumor that a Jesuit priest had caused Einstein to convert to Christianity, quoted in an article by Michael R. Gilmore in ''Skeptic'' magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2 (1997)

* The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
** Statement on the Atomic Bomb to Raymond Swing, before 1 October 1945, as reported in ''Atlantic Monthly'', vol. 176, no. 5 (November 1945), in ''Einstein on Politics'', p. 373

* That is simple, my friend. It is because Politics is more difficult than [[physics]]. 
** Einstein when asked &quot;Dr. Einstein, why is it that when the mind of man has stretched so far as to discover the structure of the atom we have been unable to devise the political means to keep the atom from destroying us?&quot; a conferee at a meeting at Princeton, N.J. (Jan 1946), as recalled by Greenville Clark in &quot;Letters to the Times&quot; in ''New York Times'' (22 Apr 1955), 24

* The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
;* Telegram (24 May 1946) sent to prominent Americans. Quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1946/05/25/archives/atomic-education-urged-by-einstein-scientist-in-plea-for-200000-to.html New York Times (25 May 1946)]. In Robert Andrews Famous Lines: a Columbia Dictionary of Familiar Quotations (1997), 340. Variations exist due to different translations from the original German.

* Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we know it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.
** &quot;Only Then Shall We Find Courage&quot;, ''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946).

* Had I known that the Germans would not succeed in producing an atomic bomb, I would not have lifted a finger.
** Einstein discussing the letter he sent Roosevelt raising the possibility of atomic weapons. from &quot;Atom: Einstein, the Man Who Started It All,&quot; Newsweek Magazine (10 March 1947).

* I am very smart. But not as strong-hearted as all the workers on earth for he toils endlessly and does it all to feed his family while I do it merely for solving an impossible puzzle.
** Letter to his cousin Richard Einstein (October 1947)

* It is easier to denature plutonium than it is to denature the evil spirit of man.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;q=%22It+is+easier+to+denature+plutonium+than+it+is+to+denature+the+evil+spirit+of+man%22&amp;pg=PA385#v=onepage The Real Problem Is in the Hearts of Men]'', ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times Magazine|The New York Times Magazine]]'' ([http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60715F63E5C14738DDDAA0A94DE405B8688F1D3 June 23, 1946])

* A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels.
** From [https://web.archive.org/web/20140622171150/http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm &quot;Atomic Education Urged by Einstein&quot;], ''New York Times'' (25 May 1946), and later quoted in the article &quot;The Real Problem is in the Hearts of Man&quot; by Michael Amrine, from the ''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946). A slightly modified version of the 23 June article was reprinted in ''Einstein on Peace'' by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), and it was also reprinted in ''Einstein on Politics'' by David E. Rowe and Robert Schulmann (2007), p. 383.
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005), editor Alice Calaprice suggests that two quotes attributed to Einstein which she could not find sources for, &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot; and &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them,&quot; may both be paraphrases of the 1946 quote above. A similar unsourced variant is &quot;The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.&quot;
** In the 23 June article Einstein expanded somewhat on the original quote from the 25 May article:
**: Many persons have inquired concerning a recent message of mine that &quot;a new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels.&quot;
**: Often in evolutionary processes a species must adapt to new conditions in order to survive. Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we knew it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.
**: In the light of new knowledge, a world authority and an eventual world state are not just ''desirable'' in the name of brotherhood, they are ''necessary'' for survival. In previous ages a nation's life and culture could be protected to some extent by the growth of armies in national competition. Today we must abandon competition and secure cooperation. This must be the central fact in all our considerations of international affairs; otherwise we face certain disaster. '''Past thinking and methods did not prevent world wars. Future thinking ''must'' prevent wars.'''

* ''Er ist eine Skala der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht.''
** '''It is a scale of proportions which makes the bad difficult and the good easy.'''
*** On the [[wikipedia:Modulor|Modulor]]. Letter sent to [[Le Corbusier]] (1946); quoted in ''Modulor'' (1953) &lt;!-- pages 58-59 French translation: Il s'agit d'une échelle de dimensions qui facilite la tâche du créateur; elle lui permet de réaliser facilement le juste et difficilement le faux. --&gt;

* '''When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.'''
** Cited as conversation between Einstein and János Plesch in ''János : The Story of a Doctor'' (1947), by János Plesch, translated by Edward FitzGerald &lt;!-- Pub. V. Gollancz --&gt;

* '''I agree with your remark about loving your enemy as far as actions are concerned. But for me the cognitive basis is the trust in an unrestricted causality.''' &quot;I cannot hate him, because he ''must'' do what he does.&quot; That means for me more [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] than the prophets.
** On the Christian maxim &quot;Love thy enemy&quot;, in a letter to [[wikipedia:Michele Besso|Michele Besso]] (6 January 1948)

* I just want to explain what I mean when I say that we should try to hold on to physical reality. &lt;br /&gt; We are ... all aware of the situation regarding what will turn out to be the basic foundational concepts in physics: the point-mass or the particle is surely not among them; the field, in the Faraday-Maxwell sense, might be, but not with certainty. But that which we conceive as existing (&quot;real&quot;) should somehow be localized in time and space. That is, the real in one part of space, ''A'', should (in theory) somehow &quot;exist&quot; independently of that which is thought of as real in another part of space, ''B''. If a physical system stretches over ''A'' and ''B'', then what is present in ''B'' should somehow have an existence independent of what is present in ''A''. What is actually present in ''B'' should thus not depend the type of measurement carried out in the part of space ''A''; it should also be independent of whether or not a measurement is made in ''A''. &lt;br /&gt; If one adheres to this program, then one can hardly view the quantum-theoretical description as a complete representation of the physically real. If one attempts, nevertheless, so to view it, then one must assume that the physically real in ''B'' undergoes a sudden change because of a measurement in ''A''. My physical instincts bristle at that suggestion. &lt;br /&gt; However, if one renounces the assumption that what is present in different parts of space has an independent, real existence, then I don't see at all what physics is supposed to be describing. For '''what is thought to be a &quot;system&quot; is after all, just conventional, and I do not see how one is supposed to divide up the world objectively so that one can make statements about parts.'''
** &quot;What must be an essential feature of any future fundamental physics?&quot; Letter to [[wikipedia:Max Born|Max Born]] (March 1948); published in ''Albert Einstein-Hedwig und Max Born'' (1969) &quot;Briefwechsel 1916-55&quot;&lt;!-- p. 223 Nymphenburger, Munich--&gt;, and in ''Potentiality, Entanglement and Passion-at-a-Distance: Quantum Mechanical Studies for Abner Shimony, Volume Two'' edited by Robert Cohen, Michael Horn, and John Stachel (1997), [http://books.google.com/books?id=DsNoIcQemTsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA121#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 121]

* Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
** As quoted in the essay &quot;To Albert Einstein's Seventieth Birthday&quot; by [[wikipedia:Arnold Sommerfeld|Arnold Sommerfeld]], ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/albert-einstein-philosopher-scientist/oclc/311439 Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist]'' (1949) edited by [[wikipedia:Paul Arthur Schilpp|Paul A. Schilpp]] (p. 102). The essay, originally published as &quot;Zum Siebzigsten Geburtstag Albert Einsteins&quot; in [http://www.worldcat.org/title/deutsche-beitrage-eine-zweimonatsschrift/oclc/183334232 Deutsche Beiträge (Eine Zweimonatsschrift)] Vol. III, No 2, 1949, was translated specifically for the book by Schilpp.

* '''I know not with what [[Weapon|weapons]] [[World War III]] will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.'''
** Interview with Alfred Werner, ''Liberal Judaism'' 16 (April-May 1949), &lt;!--  12. --&gt; Einstein Archive 30-1104, as sourced in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 173
** Differing versions of such a statement are attributed to conversations as early as 1948 (e.g. ''The Rotarian'', '''72''' (6), June 1948, [http://books.google.com/books?id=0UMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA9 p. 9]: &quot;I don't know. But I can tell you what they'll use in the fourth. They'll use rocks!&quot;). Another variant (&quot;I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones&quot;) is attributed to an unidentified letter to Harry S. Truman in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337/ &quot;The culture of Einstein&quot; by Alex Johnson], ''MSNBC'', (18 April 2005). &lt;!-- also http://web.archive.org/web/20050419230458/http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337//  publication of letter or location of archive welcom here --&gt; However, prior to 1948 very similar quotes were attributed in various articles to an unnamed army lieutenant, as discussed at [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/16/future-weapons/#more-679 ''Quote Investigator'' : &quot;The Futuristic Weapons of WW3 Are Unknown, But WW4 Will Be Fought With Stones and Spears&quot;]. The earliest found was from &quot;Quote and Unquote: Raising 'Alarmist' Cry Brings a Winchell Reply&quot; by [[Walter Winchell]], in the ''Wisconsin State Journal'' (23 September 1946), p. 6, Col. 3. In this article Winchell wrote: &lt;blockquote&gt; Joe Laitin reports that reporters at Bikini were questioning an army lieutenant about what weapons would be used in the next war. &quot;I dunno,&quot; he said, &quot;but in the war after the next war, sure as Hell, they'll be using spears!&quot; &lt;/blockquote&gt;
:: It seems plausible, therefore, that Einstein may have been quoting or paraphrasing an expression which he had heard or read elsewhere.

* '''A new idea comes suddenly and in a rather intuitive way. But intuition is nothing but the outcome of earlier intellectual experience.'''
** Letter to Dr. H. L. Gordon (May 3, 1949 - AEA 58-217) as quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' (2007) &lt;!-- p. 113 --&gt; by [[wikipedia:Walter Isaacson|Walter Isaacson]] &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|9780743264730}}&lt;/small&gt;

* Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it. 
** [[Albert Einstein]], as quoted by Virgil Henshaw in ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist'' (1949) edited by Paul A. Schilpp

* '''I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a childlike one.''' '''You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth.''' '''I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being.'''
** Letter to Guy H. Raner Jr. (28 September 1949), from article by Michael R. Gilmore in ''Skeptic'' magazine, Vol. 5, No. 2 (1997)

* The reciprocal relationship of epistemology and science is of noteworthy kind. They are dependent on each other. Epistemology without contact with science becomes an empty scheme. Science without epistemology is — insofar as it is thinkable at all — primitive and muddled. However, no sooner has the epistemologist, who is seeking a clear system, fought his way through to such a system, than he is inclined to interpret the thought-content of science in the sense of his system and to reject whatever does not fit into his system. The scientist, however, cannot afford to carry his striving for epistemological systematic that far. He accepts gratefully the epistemological conceptual analysis; but the external conditions, which are set for him by the facts of experience, do not permit him to let himself be too much restricted in the construction of his conceptual world by the adherence to an epistemological system. He therefore must appear to the systematic epistemologist as a type of unscrupulous opportunist: he appears as ''realist'' insofar as he seeks to describe a world independent of the acts of perception; as ''idealist'' insofar as he looks upon the concepts and theories as free inventions of the human spirit (not logically derivable from what is empirically given); as ''positivist'' insofar as he considers his concepts and theories justified ''only'' to the extent to which they furnish a logical representation of relations among sensory experiences. He may even appear as ''Platonist'' or ''Pythagorean'' insofar as he considers the viewpoint of logical simplicity as an indispensible and effective tool of his research.
** Contribution in ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist'', p. A. Schilpp, ed. (The Library of Living Philosophers, Evanston, IL (1949), p. 684). Quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ Einstein's Philosophy of Science]

==== ''Science and Religion'' (1941) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Science, Philosophy and Religion, A Symposium'', published by the ''Conference on Science, Philosophy and Religion in Their Relation to the Democratic Way of Life, Inc.'', New York (1941); later published in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950) &lt;!-- Philosophical Library --&gt; [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/scienceandreligion.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|A [[religious]] person is [[devout]] in the sense that he has no [[doubt]] of the significance and loftiness of those superpersonal objects and [[goals]] which neither require nor are capable of [[rational]] foundation. They exist with the same [[necessity]] and matter-of-factness as he [[himself]].]]
[[File:Glory,_spectre.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] without [[religion]] is lame, religion without science is [[blind]].]]
[[File:Halo_in_cirrostratus_1.jpg|thumb|A doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear [[light]] but only in the [[dark]], will of [[necessity]] lose its effect on [[mankind]], with incalculable harm to [[human]] [[progress]].]]
[[File:NautilusCutawayLogarithmicSpiral.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] not only [[purifies]] the [[religious]] impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious [[spiritualization]] of our [[understanding]] of [[life]].]]

* '''It would not be difficult to come to an agreement as to what we understand by science. Science is the century-old endeavor to bring together by means of systematic thought the perceptible phenomena of this world into as thoroughgoing an association as possible.''' To put it boldly, it is the attempt at the posterior reconstruction of existence by the process of conceptualization. '''But when asking myself what religion is I cannot think of the answer so easily. And even after finding an answer which may satisfy me at this particular moment, I still remain convinced that I can never under any circumstances bring together, even to a slight extent, the thoughts of all those who have given this question serious consideration.'''

* '''A person who is religiously enlightened appears to me to be one who has, to the best of his ability, liberated himself from the fetters of his selfish desires and is preoccupied with thoughts, feelings, and aspirations to which he clings because of their superpersonal value.''' It seems to me that what is important is the force of this superpersonal content and the depth of the conviction concerning its overpowering meaningfulness, regardless of whether any attempt is made to unite this content with a divine Being, for otherwise it would not be possible to count [[Gautama Buddha|Buddha]] and [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] as religious personalities. '''Accordingly, a religious person is devout in the sense that he has no doubt of the significance and loftiness of those superpersonal objects and goals which neither require nor are capable of rational foundation. They exist with the same necessity and matter-of-factness as he himself.''' In this sense religion is the age-old endeavor of mankind to become clearly and completely conscious of these values and goals and constantly to strengthen and extend their effect. If one conceives of religion and science according to these definitions then a conflict between them appears impossible. For science can only ascertain what is, but not what should be, and outside of its domain value judgments of all kinds remain necessary.

* A conflict arises when a religious community insists on the absolute truthfulness of all statements recorded in the Bible. This means an intervention on the part of religion into the sphere of science; this is where the struggle of the Church against the doctrines of Galileo and Darwin belongs. On the other hand, representatives of science have often made an attempt to arrive at fundamental judgments with respect to values and ends on the basis of scientific method, and in this way have set themselves in opposition to religion. These conflicts have all sprung from fatal errors.

* '''Even though the realms of religion and science in themselves are clearly marked off from each other, nevertheless there exist between the two strong reciprocal relationships and dependencies.''' Though religion may be that which determines the goal, it has, nevertheless, learned from science, in the broadest sense, what means will contribute to the attainment of the goals it has set up. But '''science can only be created by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion. To this there also belongs the faith in the possibility that the regulations valid for the world of existence are rational, that is, comprehensible to reason. I cannot conceive of a genuine scientist without that profound faith.''' The situation may be expressed by an image: '''science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.'''&lt;br /&gt; Though I have asserted above that in truth a legitimate conflict between religion and science cannot exist, I must nevertheless qualify this assertion once again on an essential point, with reference to the actual content of historical religions. This qualification has to do with the concept of God. During the youthful period of mankind's spiritual evolution human fantasy created gods in man's own image, who, by the operations of their will were supposed to determine, or at any rate to influence, the phenomenal world. Man sought to alter the disposition of these gods in his own favor by means of magic and prayer. The idea of God in the religions taught at present is a sublimation of that old concept of the gods. Its anthropomorphic character is shown, for instance, by the fact that men appeal to the Divine Being in prayers and plead for the fulfillment of their wishes.

* '''Nobody, certainly, will deny that the idea of the existence of an omnipotent, just, and omnibeneficent personal God is able to accord man solace, help, and guidance; also, by virtue of its simplicity it is accessible to the most undeveloped mind. But, on the other hand, there are decisive weaknesses attached to this idea in itself, which have been painfully felt since the beginning of history.''' That is, if this being is omnipotent, then every occurrence, including every human action, every human thought, and every human feeling and aspiration is also His work; how is it possible to think of holding men responsible for their deeds and thoughts before such an almighty Being? In giving out punishment and rewards He would to a certain extent be passing judgment on Himself. How can this be combined with the goodness and righteousness ascribed to Him?&lt;br /&gt; '''The main source of the present-day conflicts between the spheres of religion and of science lies in this concept of a personal God.'''

* When the number of factors coming into play in a phenomenological complex is too large, scientific method in most cases fails us. One need only think of the weather, in which case prediction even for a few days ahead is impossible. Nevertheless no one doubts that we are confronted with a causal connection whose causal components are in the main known to us.&lt;br /&gt;Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction because of the variety of factors in operation, not because of any lack of order in nature.

* The more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events the firmer becomes his conviction that there is no room left by the side of this ordered regularity for causes of a different nature. For him neither the rule of human nor the rule of divine will exists as an independent cause of natural events. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God interfering with natural events could never be refuted, in the real sense, by science, for this doctrine can always take refuge in those domains in which scientific knowledge has not yet been able to set foot.&lt;br /&gt; But I am persuaded that such behavior on the part of the representatives of religion would not only be unworthy but also fatal. For a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God, that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such vast power in the hands of priests. In their labors they will have to avail themselves of those forces which are capable of cultivating the Good, the True, and the Beautiful in humanity itself. This is, to be sure, a more difficult but an incomparably more worthy task.

* If it is one of the goals of religion to liberate mankind as far as possible from the bondage of egocentric cravings, desires, and fears, scientific reasoning can aid religion in yet another sense. Although it is true that it is the goal of science to discover rules which permit the association and foretelling of facts, this is not its only aim. It also seeks to reduce the connections discovered to the smallest possible number of mutually independent conceptual elements.&lt;br /&gt;It is in this striving after the rational unification of the manifold that it encounters its greatest successes, even though it is precisely this attempt which causes it to run the greatest risk of falling a prey to illusions. '''But whoever has undergone the intense experience of successful advances made in this domain is moved by profound reverence for the rationality made manifest in existence.''' By way of the understanding he achieves a far-reaching emancipation from the shackles of personal hopes and desires, and thereby attains that humble attitude of mind toward the grandeur of reason incarnate in existence, and which, in its profoundest depths, is inaccessible to man.&lt;br /&gt;This attitude, however, appears to me to be religious, in the highest sense of the word. And so it seems to me that '''science not only purifies the religious impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious spiritualization of our understanding of life.'''&lt;br /&gt;The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.

==== ''Only Then Shall We Find Courage'' (1946) ====
{{main|Albert Einstein and politics#Only Then Shall We Find Courage (1946)}}
* A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
** Remark to scientist [[w:Herman Francis Mark|Herman Francis Mark]]

==== ''Religion and Science: Irreconcilable?'' (1948) ====
[[File:ReligionSymbol.svg|thumb|[[Religion]] is concerned with man's [[attitude]] toward [[nature]] at large, with the establishing of [[ideals]] for the individual and communal [[life]], and with mutual [[human]] relationship.]]
: &lt;small&gt;''The Christian Register'' (June 1948); republished in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954) [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/irrec.html Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Mahatma_Buddha.jpg|thumb|The [[great]] [[moral]] [[teachers]] of [[humanity]] were, in a way, [[artistic]] [[geniuses]] in the art of [[living]].]]

* '''Does there truly exist an insuperable contradiction between religion and science? Can religion be superseded by science? The answers to these questions have, for centuries, given rise to considerable dispute and, indeed, bitter fighting. Yet, in my own mind there can be no doubt that in both cases a dispassionate consideration can only lead to a negative answer.''' What complicates the solution, however, is the fact that while most people readily agree on what is meant by &quot;science,&quot; they are likely to differ on the meaning of &quot;religion.&quot;

* '''Science, in the immediate, produces knowledge and, indirectly, means of action. It leads to methodical action if definite goals are set up in advance. For the function of setting up goals and passing statements of value transcends its domain.''' While it is true that science, to the extent of its grasp of causative connections, may reach important conclusions as to the compatibility and incompatibility of goals and evaluations, the independent and fundamental definitions regarding goals and values remain beyond science's reach.&lt;br /&gt;As regards religion, on the other hand, one is generally agreed that it deals with goals and evaluations and, in general, with the emotional foundation of human thinking and acting, as far as these are not predetermined by the inalterable hereditary disposition of the human species. '''Religion is concerned with man's attitude toward nature at large, with the establishing of ideals for the individual and communal life, and with mutual human relationship.''' These ideals religion attempts to attain by exerting an educational influence on tradition and through the development and promulgation of certain easily accessible thoughts and narratives (epics and myths) which are apt to influence evaluation and action along the lines of the accepted ideals.

* It is this mythical, or rather this symbolic, content of the religious traditions which is likely to come into conflict with science. This occurs whenever this religious stock of ideas contains dogmatically fixed statements on subjects which belong in the domain of science. Thus, it is of vital importance for the preservation of true religion that such conflicts be avoided when they arise from subjects which, in fact, are not really essential for the pursuance of the religious aims.

* The moral attitudes of a people that is supported by religion need always aim at preserving and promoting the sanity and vitality of the community and its individuals, since otherwise this community is bound to perish. '''A people that were to honor falsehood, defamation, fraud, and murder would be unable, indeed, to subsist for very long.'''

* '''The great moral teachers of humanity were, in a way, artistic geniuses in the art of living.'''

* '''While religion prescribes brotherly love in the relations among the individuals and groups, the actual spectacle more resembles a battlefield than an orchestra.''' Everywhere, in economic as well as in political life, the guiding principle is one of ruthless striving for success at the expense of one's fellow men. This competitive spirit prevails even in school and, destroying all feelings of human fraternity and cooperation, conceives of achievement not as derived from the love for productive and thoughtful work, but as springing from personal ambition and fear of rejection.&lt;br /&gt; '''There are pessimists who hold that such a state of affairs is necessarily inherent in human nature; it is those who propound such views that are the enemies of true religion, for they imply thereby that religious teachings are Utopian ideals and unsuited to afford guidance in human affairs.''' The study of the social patterns in certain so-called primitive cultures, however, seems to have made it sufficiently evident that such a defeatist view is wholly unwarranted.

* While it is true that scientific results are entirely independent from religious or moral considerations, those individuals to whom we owe the great creative achievements of science were all of them imbued with the truly religious conviction that this universe of ours is something perfect and susceptible to the rational striving for knowledge. If this conviction had not been a strongly emotional one and if those searching for knowledge had not been inspired by Spinoza's ''Amor Dei Intellectualis'', they would hardly have been capable of that untiring devotion which alone enables man to attain his greatest achievements.

==== &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot; (1949) ====
: &lt;small&gt;Published in ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/albert-einstein-philosopher-scientist/oclc/311439 Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist]'' (1949) edited by [[wikipedia:Paul Arthur Schilpp|Paul A. Schilpp]]. Reprinted in ''A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion: The Essential Scientific Works of Albert Einstein'' (2009) edited by [[Stephen Hawking]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA339#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 339].&lt;/small&gt;
* Even when I was a fairly precocious young man the nothingness of the hopes and strivings which chases most men restlessly through life came to my consciousness with considerable vitality. Moreover, I soon discovered the cruelty of that chase, which in those years was much more carefully covered up by hypocrisy and glittering words than is the case today. By the mere existence of his stomach everyone was condemned to participate in that chase. Moreover, it was possible to satisfy the stomach by such participation, but not man in so far as he is a thinking and feeling being. As the first way out there was religion, which is implanted into every child by way of the traditional education-machine. '''Thus I came—despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents—to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.''' Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression. '''Suspicion against every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the convictions which were alive in any specific social environment—an attitude which has never again left me''', even though later on, because of a better insight into the causal connections, it lost some of its original poignancy.&lt;!-- p. 339-340 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* '''It is quite clear to me that the religious paradise of youth, which was thus lost, was a first attempt to free myself from the chains of the &quot;merely-personal,&quot; from an existence which is dominated by wishes, hopes and primitive feelings.''' Out yonder there was this huge world, which exists independently of us human beings and which stands before us like a great, eternal riddle, at least partially accessible to our inspection and thinking. The contemplation of this world beckoned like a liberation, and I soon noticed that many a man whom I had learned to esteem and to admire had found inner freedom and security in devoted occupation with it. The mental grasp of this extrapersonal world within the frame of the given possibilites swam as highest aim half consciously and half unconsciously before my mind's eye. Similarly motivated men of the present and of the past, as well as the insights which they had achieved, were the friends which could not be lost. '''The road to this paradise was not as comfortable and alluring as the road to the religious paradise; but it has proved itself as trustworthy, and I have never regretted having chosen it.'''&lt;!-- 340 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* For me it is not dubious that our thinking goes on for the most part without use of signs (words) and beyond that to a considerable degree unconsciously. For how, otherwise, should it happen that sometimes we &quot;wonder&quot; quite spontaneously about some experience? This &quot;wondering&quot; seems to occur when an experience comes into conflict with a world of concepts which is already sufficiently fixed in us. Whenever such a conflict is experienced hard and intensively it reacts back upon our thought world in a decisive way. The development of this thought world is in a certain sense a continuous flight from &quot;wonder.&quot;&lt;!-- pp. 341-342 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* '''A wonder of such nature I experienced as a child of 4 or 5 years, when my father showed me a compass.''' That this needle behaved in such a determined way did not at all fit into the nature of events, which could find a place in the unconscious world of concepts (effect connected with direct &quot;touch&quot;). I can still remember—or at least believe I can remember—that this experience made a deep and lasting impression upon me. Something deeply hidden had to be behind things. What man sees before him from infancy causes no reaction of this kind; he is not surprised over the falling of bodies, concerning wind and rain, nor concerning the moon or about the fact that the moon does not fall down, nor concerning the differences between living and non-living matter.&lt;br /&gt;At the age of 12 I experienced a second wonder of a totally different nature: in a little book dealing with Euclidean plane geometry, which came into my hands at the beginning of a schoolyear. Here were assertions, as for example the intersection of the three altitudes of a triangle in one point, which—though by no means evident—could nevertheless be proved with such certainty that any doubt appeared to be out of the question. This lucidity and certainty made an indescribable impression upon me. That the axioms had to be accepted unproved did not disturb me. In any case it was quite sufficient for me if I could peg proofs upon propositions the validity of which did not seem to me to be dubious.&lt;!-- 342 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect [upon me] that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year. &lt;!-- p. 346 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.&lt;!-- p. 346 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* ''Eine Theorie ist desto eindrucksvoller, je größer die Einfachheit ihrer Prämissen ist, je verschiedenartigere Dinge sie verknüpft, und je weiter ihr Anwendungsbereich ist.''
** '''A theory is the more impressive, the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more diverse things it connects, and the wider its scope''' &lt;!-- 353 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

* Reflections of this type made it clear to me as long ago as shortly after 1900, i.e., shortly after Planck's trailblazing work, that neither mechanics nor electrodynamics could (except in limiting cases) claim exact validity. By and by I despaired of the possibility of discovering the true laws by means of constructive efforts based on known facts. The longer and the more despairingly I tried, the more I came to the conviction that only the discovery of a universal formal principle could lead us to assured results. . . . How, then, could such a universal principle be found? '''After ten years of reflection such a principle resulted from a paradox upon which I had already hit at the age of sixteen: If I pursue a beam of light with the velocity ''c'' (velocity of light in a vacuum), I should observe such a beam as a spatially oscillatory electromagnetic field at rest. However, there seems to be no such thing, whether on the bases of experience or according to Maxwell's equations.''' From the very beginning it appeared to me intuitively clear that, judged from the stand-point of such an observer, everything would have to happen according to the same laws as for an observer who, relative to the earth, was at rest.&lt;!-- 362-363 of &quot;A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion&quot; --&gt;

==== &quot;Einstein's Reply to Criticisms&quot; (1949) ====
:&lt;small&gt;&quot;Einstein's Reply to Criticisms&quot;, ''Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist'' (1949), p. 672&lt;!-- Cambridge University Press --&gt;&lt;/small&gt; 
* I now imagine a quantum theoretician who may even admit that the quantum-theoretical description refers to ensembles of systems and not to individual systems, but who, nevertheless, clings to the idea that the type of description of the statistical quantum theory will, in its essential features, be retained in the future. He may argue as follows: True, I admit that the quantum-theoretical description is an incomplete description of the individual system. I even admit that a complete theoretical description is, in principle, thinkable. But I consider it proven that the search for such a complete description would be aimless. For the lawfulness of nature is thus constituted that the laws can be completely and suitably formulated within the framework of our incomplete description. &lt;br /&gt; To this I can only reply as follows: Your point of view — taken as theoretical possibility — is incontestable. For me, however, the expectation that the adequate formulation of the universal laws involves the use of ''all'' conceptual elements which are necessary for a complete description, is more natural. It is furthermore not at all surprising that, by using an incomplete description, (in the main) only statistical statements can be obtained out of such description. If it should be possible to move forward to a complete description, it is likely that the laws would represent relations among all the conceptual elements of this description which, ''per se'', have nothing to do with statistics.

==== ''The World As I See It'' (1949) ====
: &lt;small&gt;For the title essay in this work see [[Albert Einstein#Mein Weltbild (1931)|Mein Weltbild (1931)]] above.&lt;!-- Philosophical Library, New York, --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Maurycy_Gottlieb_-_Jews_Praying_in_the_Synagogue_on_Yom_Kippur.jpg|thumb|The man who regards his own [[life]] and that of his fellow creatures as [[meaningless]] is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for [[life]].]]
'''The Meaning of Life'''

* '''What is the [[Meaning of life|meaning of human life]], or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion.''' Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? '''I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life.'''

* '''This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of the herd nature, the military system, which I abhor. That a man can take pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to make me despise him. He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a backbone was all he needed. This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism by order, senseless violence, and all the pestilent nonsense that does by the name of patriotism--how I hate them! War seems to me a mean, contemptible thing: I would rather be hacked in pieces than take part in such an abominable business. And yet so high, in spite of everything, is my opinion of the human race that I believe this bogey would have disappeared long ago, had the sound sense of the nations not been systematically corrupted by commercial and political interests acting through the schools and the Press.'''

'''Good and Evil'''

* '''''The true value of a human being'' is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self.'''

'''Society and Personality'''

* '''When we survey our lives and endeavors we soon observe that almost the whole of our actions and desires are bound up with the existence of other human beings.''' We see that our whole nature resembles that of the social animals. We eat food that others have grown, wear clothes that others have made, live in houses that others have built. The greater part of our knowledge and beliefs has been communicated to us by other people through the medium of a language which others have created. Without language our mental capacities would be poor indeed, comparable to those of the higher animals; we have, therefore, to admit that we owe our principal advantage over the beasts to the fact of living in human society. '''The individual, if left alone from birth would remain primitive and beast-like in his thoughts and feelings to a degree that we can hardly conceive. The individual is what he is and has the significance that he has not so much in virtue of his individuality, but rather as a member of a great human society, which directs his material and spiritual existence from the cradle to the grave.'''

[[File:Gandhi_smiling_1942.jpg|thumb|The example of [[great]] and [[pure]] characters is the only thing that can produce fine [[ideas]] and [[noble]] [[deeds]].]]
* '''A man's value to the community depends primarily on how far his feelings, thoughts, and actions are directed towards promoting the good of his fellows.''' We call him good or bad according to how he stands in this matter. It looks at first sight as if our estimate of a man depended entirely on his social qualities. &lt;br /&gt; '''And yet such an attitude would be wrong.''' It is clear that all the valuable things, material, spiritual, and moral, which we receive from society can be traced back through countless generations to certain creative individuals. The use of fire, the cultivation of edible plants, the steam engine — each was discovered by one man.&lt;br /&gt; '''Only the individual can think, and thereby create new values for society — nay, even set up new moral standards to which the life of the community conforms. Without creative, independently thinking and judging personalities the upward development of society is as unthinkable as the development of the individual personality without the nourishing soil of the community.&lt;br /&gt;   The health of society thus depends quite as much on the independence of the individuals composing it as on their close political cohesion.'''

'''Of Wealth'''

* I am absolutely convinced that no wealth in the world can help humanity forward, even in the hands of the most devoted worker in this cause. '''The example of great and pure characters is the only thing that can produce fine ideas and noble deeds.''' Money only appeals to selfishness and always tempts its owners irresistibly to abuse it.&lt;br /&gt; '''Can anyone imagine [[Moses]], [[Jesus]], or [[Gandhi]] armed with the money-bags of [[Andrew Carnegie|Carnegie]]?'''

'''Religion in Science'''

* '''You will hardly find one among the profounder sort of scientific minds without a peculiar religious feeling of his own. But it is different from the religion of the naive man. For the latter God is a being from whose care one hopes to benefit and whose punishment one fears; a sublimation of a feeling similar to that of a child for its father, a being to whom one stands to some extent in a personal relation, however deeply it may be tinged with awe. But the scientist is possessed by the sense of universal causation. The future, to him, is every whit as necessary and determined as the past. There is nothing divine about morality, it is a purely human affair. His religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection.''' This feeling is the guiding principle of his life and work, in so far as he succeeds in keeping himself from the shackles of selfish desire. It is beyond question closely akin to that which has possessed the religious geniuses of all ages.

'''Greeting to G. Bernard Shaw'''

* '''There are few enough people with sufficient independence to see the weaknesses and follies of their contemporaries and remain themselves untouched by them.''' And these isolated few usually soon lose their zeal for putting things to rights when they have come face to face with human obduracy. '''Only to a tiny minority is it given to fascinate their generation by subtle humour and grace and to hold the mirror up to it by the impersonal agency of art. To-day I salute with sincere emotion the supreme master of this method, who has delighted — and educated — us all.'''

'''Some Notes on my American Impressions'''
: first published as &quot;My First Impression of the U.S.A.&quot; (1921)

* The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the Prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in the United States is closely connected with this.

* The cult of individual personalities is always, in my view, unjustified. To be sure, nature distributes her gifts variously among her children. But there are plenty of the well-endowed ones too, thank God, and I am firmly convinced that most of them live quiet, unregarded lives. It strikes me as unfair, and even in bad taste, to select a few of them for boundless admiration, attributing superhuman powers of mind and character to them. This has been my fate, and the contrast between the popular estimate of my powers and achievements and the reality is simply grotesque. '''The consciousness of this extraordinary state of affairs would be unbearable but for one great consoling thought: it is a welcome symptom in an age which is commonly denounced as materialistic, that it makes heroes of men whose ambitions lie wholly in the intellectual and moral sphere. This proves that knowledge and justice are ranked above wealth and power by a large section of the human race.''' My experience teaches me that this idealistic outlook is particularly prevalent in America, which is usually decried as a particularly materialistic country.

* The United States is the most powerful technically advanced country in the world to-day. Its influence on the shaping of international relations is absolutely incalculable. But America is a large country and its people have so far not shown much interest in great international problems, among which the problem of disarmament occupies first place today. This must be changed, if only in the essential interests of the Americans. The last war has shown that there are no longer any barriers between the continents and that the destinies of all countries are closely interwoven. The people of this country must realize that they have a great responsibility in the sphere of international politics. The part of passive spectator is unworthy of this country and is bound in the end to lead to disaster all round.

'''Letter to a Friend of Peace'''

* Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts&lt;!-- p. 66 of the edition at http://books.google.com/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA66#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false --&gt;

'''Production and Work'''

* Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work.

[[File:Redentor.jpg|thumb|If one purges the [[Judaism]] of the [[Prophets]] and [[Christianity]] as [[Jesus]] [[Christ]] taught it of all subsequent additions, especially those of the priests, one is left with a [[teaching]] which is capable of curing all the [[social]] ills of [[humanity]].]]
'''Christianity and Judaism'''

* '''If one purges the Judaism of the Prophets and Christianity as Jesus Christ taught it of all subsequent additions, especially those of the priests, one is left with a teaching which is capable of curing all the social ills of humanity. &lt;br /&gt;   It is the duty of every man of good will to strive steadfastly in his own little world to make this teaching of pure humanity a living force, so far as he can.''' If he makes an honest attempt in this direction without being crushed and trampled under foot by his contemporaries, he may consider himself and the community to which he belongs lucky.

'''Unconfirmed:'''
: The following quotes have been cited as being from ''The World As I See It'' but are not in later ''abridged'' editions of the original 1949 book and thus these citations are not yet confirmed.

* May the conscience and the common sense of the peoples be awakened, so that we may reach a new stage in the life of nations, where people will look back on war as an incomprehensible aberration of their forefathers!

* The state is made for man, not man for the state. And in this respect science resembles the state.

====''{{w|Why Socialism?}}'' (1949)====
:&lt;small&gt; These are just a few select quotes from Einstein's article &quot;Why Socialism?&quot; in ''Monthly Review'' [http://www.monthlyreview.org/598einst.htm] New York (May 1949); for others see:&lt;/small&gt;
{{Main|Albert Einstein and politics#Why Socialism? (1949)}}

* '''Historic tradition is, so to speak, of yesterday; nowhere have we really overcome what [[Thorstein Veblen]] called &quot;[[W:Thorstein Veblen#Veblen's economics and politics|the predatory phase]]&quot; of human development.''' The observable economic facts belong to that phase and even such laws as we can derive from them are not applicable to other phases. Since the real purpose of [[socialism]] is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development, economic science in its present state can throw little light on the socialist society of the future.

* '''Socialism is directed towards a social-ethical end.''' Science, however, cannot create ends and, even less, instill them in human beings; science, at most, can supply the means by which to attain certain ends. But the ends themselves are conceived by personalities with lofty ethical ideals and — if these ends are not stillborn, but vital and vigorous — are adopted and carried forward by those many human beings who, half unconsciously, determine the slow evolution of society. For these reasons, '''we should be on our guard not to overestimate science and scientific methods when it is a question of human problems; and we should not assume that experts are the only ones who have a right to express themselves on questions affecting the organization of society.'''

* '''I am very conscious of the fact that our feelings and strivings are often contradictory and obscure and that they cannot be expressed in easy and simple formulas.'''

* Man is, at one and the same time, a solitary being and a social being. As a solitary being, he attempts to protect his own existence and that of those who are closest to him, to satisfy his personal desires, and to develop his innate abilities. As a social being, he seeks to gain the recognition and affection of his fellow human beings, to share in their pleasures, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to improve their conditions of life. Only the existence of these varied, frequently conflicting, strivings accounts for the special character of a man, and their specific combination determines the extent to which an individual can achieve an inner equilibrium and can contribute to the well-being of society.

* The abstract concept &quot;society&quot; means to the individual human being the sum total of his direct and indirect relations to his contemporaries and to all the people of earlier generations. The individual is able to think, feel, strive, and work by himself; but he depends so much upon society — in his physical, intellectual, and emotional existence — that it is impossible to think of him, or to understand him, outside the framework of society. It is &quot;society&quot; which provides man with food, clothing, a home, the tools of work, language, the forms of thought, and most of the content of thought; his life is made possible through the labor and the accomplishments of the many millions past and present who are all hidden behind the small word &quot;society.&quot;

* The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence. Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate.

* The owner of the means of production is in a position to purchase the labor power of the worker. By using the means of production, the worker produces new goods which become the property of the capitalist. The essential point about this process is the relation between what the worker produces and what he is paid, both measured in terms of real value. In so far as the labor contract is free what the worker receives is determined not by the real value of the goods he produces, but by his minimum needs and by the capitalists' requirements for labor power in relation to the number of workers competing for jobs. '''It is important to understand that even in theory the payment of the worker is not determined by the value of his product.'''

* '''I have now reached the point where I may indicate briefly what to me constitutes the essence of the crisis of our time. It concerns the relationship of the individual to society. The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence.''' Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate. '''All human beings, whatever their position in society, are suffering from this process of deterioration. Unknowingly prisoners of their own egotism, they feel insecure, lonely, and deprived of the naive, simple, and unsophisticated enjoyment of life. Man can find meaning in life, short and perilous as it is, only through devoting himself to society.'''

* '''The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil.''' We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labor — not by force, but on the whole in faithful compliance with legally established rules.

* '''Production is carried on for profit, not for use.''' There is no provision that all those able and willing to work will always be in a position to find employment; an &quot;army of unemployed&quot; almost always exists. The worker is constantly in fear of losing his job. Since unemployed and poorly paid workers do not provide a profitable market, the production of consumers' goods is restricted, and great hardship is the consequence. '''Technological progress frequently results in more unemployment rather than in an easing of the burden of work for all.''' The profit motive, in conjunction with competition among capitalists, is responsible for an instability in the [[Capital accumulation|accumulation]] and utilization of capital which leads to increasingly severe depressions. Unlimited competition leads to a huge waste of labor, and to that crippling of the social consciousness of individuals.

* '''I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.''' In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilized in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman, and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society. '''Nevertheless, it is necessary to remember that a planned economy is not yet socialism. A planned economy as such may be accompanied by the complete enslavement of the individual.''' The achievement of socialism requires the solution of some extremely difficult socio-political problems: how is it possible, in view of the far-reaching centralisation of political and economic power, to prevent bureaucracy from becoming all-powerful and overweening? '''How can the rights of the individual be protected and therewith a democratic counterweight to the power of bureaucracy be assured?'''

* '''Private capital tends to become concentrated in few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of smaller ones.''' The result of these developments is an [[oligarchy]] of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. '''The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists inevitably control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights.'''

=== 1950s ===
[[File:Flag_of_the_United_Nations.svg|thumb|Striving for [[peace]] and preparing for [[war]] are incompatible with each other, and in our time more so than ever.]]
[[File:Gandhi_Commons.jpg|thumb| [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most [[enlightened]] of all the [[political]] men in our time. We should strive to do things in his [[spirit]]... not to use [[violence]] in [[fighting]] for our cause, but by non-participation in what we [[believe]] is [[evil]].]]
[[File:HD.3A.006_(10555707034).jpg|thumb|Without &quot;[[ethical culture]],&quot; there is no [[salvation]] for [[humanity]].]]

* '''Taken on the whole, I would believe that [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time.''' We should strive to do things in his spirit... not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non-participation in what we believe is evil.
** [http://streams.gandhiserve.org/einstein.html United Nations radio interview] recorded in Einstein's study, Princeton, New Jersey (1950)

*''Ein Mensch ist ein räumlich und zeitlich beschränktes Stück des Ganzen, was wir „Universum&quot; nennen. Er erlebt sich und sein Fühlen als abgetrennt gegenüber dem Rest, eine optische Täuschung seines Bewusstseins. Das Streben nach Befreiung von dieser Fesselung ist der einzige Gegenstand wirklicher Religion. Nicht das Nähren der Illusion sondern nur ihre Überwindung gibt uns das erreichbare Maß inneren Friedens.''
** '''A human being is a part of the whole, called by us &quot;Universe&quot;, a part limited in time and space.''' He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish the delusion but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of peace of mind.
*** [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/11/delusion.html Letter of condolence sent to Robert J. Marcus of the World Jewish Congress (12 February 1950)] · [https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jonah-c-steinberg/beyond-the-delusion-of-se_b_13219428.html Above translation and original German draft]
** Variant translations:
** A human being is a spatially and temporally limited piece of the whole, what we call the &quot;Universe.&quot; He experiences himself and his feelings as separate from the rest, an optical illusion of his consciousness. The quest for liberation from this bondage is the only object of true religion. Not nurturing the illusion but only overcoming it gives us the attainable measure of inner peace.
*** Google translation of Germant text of Einsteins handwritten note, quoted in [https://thymindoman.com/2018/03/29/einsteins-misquote-on-the-illusion-of-feeling-separate-from-the-whole/ Original draft, texts of letters, and variant translations in &quot;Einstein's Misquote on the Illusion of Feeling Separate from the Whole&quot; (29 March 2018)]
** Variant (Another letter of condolence to another person, written soon after, using the first sentence of the above): 
** A human being is a part of the whole, called by us &quot;Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.
*** [https://books.google.com/books?id=kABUCgAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PT11&amp;dq=einstein%20%22norman%20salit%22%20%22part%20of%20the%20whole%22&amp;pg=PT11#v=onepage&amp;q=einstein%20%22norman%20salit%22%20%22part%20of%20the%20whole%22&amp;f=false Condolence letter to Norman Salit, (4 March 1950)]; also quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1972/03/29/archives/the-einstein-papers-a-man-of-many-parts-the-einstein-papers-man-of.html &quot;The Einstein Papers. A Man of Many Parts&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (29 March 1972), p. 1]

* I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs.
** Statement upon joining the Montreal Pipe Smokers Club (1950)

* '''I believe, indeed, that overemphasis on the purely intellectual attitude, often directed solely to the practical and factual, in our education, has led directly to the impairment of ethical values.''' I am not thinking so much of the dangers with which technical progress has directly confronted mankind, as of the stifling of mutual human considerations by a &quot;matter-of-fact&quot; habit of thought which has come to lie like a killing frost upon human relations. ... The frightful dilemma of the political world situation has much to do with this sin of omission on the part of our civilization. '''Without &quot;ethical culture,&quot; there is no salvation for humanity.'''
** &quot;The Need for Ethical Culture&quot; celebrating the seventy-fifth anniversary of the [[wikipedia:Ethical Culture|Ethical Culture Society]], founded by [[Felix Adler]] (5 January 1951) (the full remarks can be found in [http://books.google.com/books?id=UppFAAAAYAAJ Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein and Carl Seelig])

* One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike—and yet it is the most precious thing we have.
** Letter to Hans Muehsam (9 July 1951), Einstein Archives 38-408, quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' (2010) by Alice Calaprice, [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA404#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 404]

* ''Ich habe keine besondere Begabung, sondern bin nur leidenschaftlich neugierig.''
** I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
** Letter to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Seelig Carl Seelig] (11 March 1952), Einstein Archives 39-013

* ''Einer, der nur Zeitungen liest und, wenn's hochkommt, Bücher zeitgenössischer Autoren, kommt mir vor wie ein hochgradig Kurzsichtiger, der es verschmäht, Augengläser zu tragen. Er ist völlig abhängig von den vorurteilen und Moden seiner Zeit, denn er bekommt nichts anderes zu sehen und zu hören. Und was einer selbständig denkt ohne Anlehnung an das Denken und Erleben anderer, ist auch im besten Falle Ziemlich ärmlich und monoton.''
** Translation: Somebody who reads only newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors appears to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else. And what a person thinks on his own, without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of other people, is, similarly, even in the best case rather paltry and monotonous.
** Article in Der Jungkaufmann, [http://www.archive.org/stream/alberteinstein_03_reel03#page/n302/mode/1up April 1952], Einstein Archives 28-972

* A truly rational theory would allow us to deduce the elementary particles (electron, etc.) and not be forced to state them a priori.
** Letter to Michele Besso (10 September 1952), Letter n°190, ''Correspondance, 1903-1955'' (1972), by Pierre Speziali and Michele Angelo Besso &lt;!-- published by Hermann --&gt;

* It is not enough to teach a man a specialty. Through it he may become a kind of useful machine but not a harmoniously developed personality. It is essential that the student acquire an understanding of and a lively feeling for values. He must acquire a vivid sense of the beautiful and of the morally good. Otherwise he—with his specialized knowledge—more closely resembles a well-trained dog than a harmoniously developed person. '''He must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their sufferings in order to acquire a proper relationship to individual fellow-men and to the community.''' These precious things are conveyed to the younger generation through personal contact with those who teach, not—or at least not in the main—through textbooks. It is this that primarily constitutes and preserves culture. This is what I have in mind when I recommend the &quot;humanities&quot; as important, not just dry specialized knowledge in the fields of history and philosophy.
** &quot;Education for Independent Thought&quot; in ''The New York Times'', 5 October 1952. Reprinted in ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954)

* '''I think that only daring speculation can lead us further and not accumulation of facts.'''
** Letter to Michele Besso (8 October 1952). According to ''Scientifically speaking: a dictionary of quotations, Volume 1'' (2002), [http://books.google.com/books?id=FFIBzawsfPEC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA154#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 154], the letter is reprinted on p. 487 of ''Correspondance 1903-1955'' (1972) by Michele Besso.

* What lead me more or less directly to the special theory of relativity was the conviction that the electromotive force acting on a body in motion in a magnetic field was nothing else but an electric field.
** Letter to the Michelson Commemorative Meeting of the Cleveland Physics Society (1952), as quoted by R.S.Shankland, Am J Phys 32, 16 (1964), p35, republished in A P French, ''Special Relativity'', {{ISBN|0177710756}}

* The strange thing about growing old is that the intimate identification with the here and now is slowly lost; one feels transposed into infinity, more or less alone, no longer in hope or fear, only observing.
** Letter to Queen Mother Elisabeth of Belgium (12 January 1953), Einstein Archive 32-405. Quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Creator and Rebel'' by Banesh Hoffman (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=sdDaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22no+longer+in+hope+or+fear%22#search_anchor p. 261], and also partially quoted (with a reference to the exact date of the letter) in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2007), p. 536

* {{anchor|tolerate_evil}} What I particularly admire in him is the firm stand he has taken, not only against the oppressors of his countrymen, but also against those opportunists who are always ready to compromise with the Devil. He perceives very clearly that '''the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.'''
** Einstein's tribute to [[Pablo Casals]] (30 March 1953), in ''Conversations with Casals'' (1957), page 11, by Josep Maria Corredor, translated from ''Conversations avec Pablo Casals : souvenirs et opinions d'un musicien'' (1955)
** Variant translations or paraphrasing:
*** The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
**** As quoted in ''The Harper Book of Quotations'' by Robert I. Fitzhenry (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=THl7kUfSqCUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA356#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 356]
*** The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
**** As quoted in ''Conscious Courage : Turning Everyday Challenges Into Opportunities'' (2004) by Maureen Stearns, p. 99
*** The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.

* Development of Western Science is based on two great achievements, the invention of the formal logical system (in Euclidean geometry) by the Greek philosophers, and the discovery of the possibility to find out causal relationships by systematic experiment (Renaissance). In my opinion one has not to be astonished that the Chinese sages have not made these steps. The astonishing thing is that these discoveries were made at all.
** Letter to J.S. Switzer (23 April 1953), quoted in ''The Scientific Revolution: a Hstoriographical Inquiry'' By [[H. Floris Cohen]] (1994), [http://books.google.com/books?id=wu8b2NAqnb0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA234#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 234], and also partly quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' edited by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA405#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 405]

* It gives me great pleasure, indeed, to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
** &quot;Address on Receiving Lord &amp; Taylor Award&quot; (4 May 1953) in ''Ideas and Opinions''

* To think with fear of the end of one's life is pretty general with human beings. It is one of the means nature uses to conserve the life of the species. Approached rationally that fear is the most unjustified of all fears, for there is no risk of any accidents to one who is dead or not yet born. In short, the fear is stupid but it cannot be helped.
** Letter to Eileen Danniheisser (1953), quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Creator and Rebel'' by Banesh Hoffman (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=sdDaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22think+with+fear%22#search_anchor p. 261]. The exact date, or the name of his correspondent, is not given in the snippet of the book available online, but the quote appears after the letter to the Queen of Belgium from 12 January 1953, and is prefaced by &quot;Nine months later, in words that recall the beliefs of an early atomic speculator, the Roman poet Lucretius, Einstein had written to an inquirer&quot;, followed by the quote. The name &quot;Eileen Danniheisser&quot; is given in ''Time: Volume 144'', where it is mentioned in the snippets [http://books.google.com/books?id=JDAnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22obsessive+thoughts%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=JDAnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22think+with+fear%22#search_anchor here] that she had written Einstein &quot;about her obsessive thoughts of death as a child&quot;.

* '''Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.'''
** ''Essay to Leo Baeck'' (1953), ''The New Quotable Einstein.''

* I’m a magnet for all the crackpots in the world, but they are of interest to me, too. A favourite pastime of mine is to reconstruct their thinking processes. I feel genuinely sorry for them, that’s why I try to help them.
** (October 15, 1953) as quoted by Johanna Fantova in ''[https://ysfine.com/einstein/fantova/fantova.html Conversations with Einstein]''

* The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. ... For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them.
** Gutkind Letter (3 January 1954), {{cite news | title=Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear | publisher=The Guardian | date=13 May 2008 | url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion }}

* If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.
** Letter to the editor of ''The Reporter'' about the situation of scientists in America (13 October 1954)

* The theory of relativity is a beautiful example of the basic character of the modern development of theory. That is to say, the hypotheses from which one starts become ever more abstract and more remote from experience. But in return one comes closer to the preeminent goal of science, that of encompassing a maximum of empirical contents through logical deduction with a minimum of hypotheses or axioms. The intellectual path from the axioms to the empirical contents or to the testable consequences becomes, thereby, ever longer and more subtle. '''The theoretician is forced, ever more, to allow himself to be directed by purely mathematical, formal points of view in the search for theories, because the physical experience of the experimenter is not capable of leading us up to the regions of the highest abstraction.''' Tentative deduction takes the place of the predominantly inductive methods appropriate to the youthful state of science. Such a theoretical structure must be quite thoroughly elaborated in order for it to lead to consequences that can be compared with experience. It is certainly the case that here, as well, the empirical fact is the all-powerful judge. But its judgment can be handed down only on the basis of great and difficult intellectual effort that first bridges the wide space between the axioms and the testable consequences. The theorist must accomplish this Herculean task with the clear understanding that this effort may only be destined to prepare the way for a death sentence for his theory. '''One should not reproach the theorist who undertakes such a task by calling him a fantast; instead, one must allow him his fantasizing, since for him there is no other way to his goal whatsoever. Indeed, it is no planless fantasizing, but rather a search for the logically simplest possibilities and their consequences.'''
** ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), pp. 238–239; quoted in [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/einstein-philscience/ &quot;Einstein's Philosophy of Science&quot;]

* I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.
** Address to the Chicago Decalogue Society (20 February 1954)

* Combinatory play seems to be the essential feature in productive thought — before there is any connection with logical construction in words or other kinds of signs which can be communicated to others.
** ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954), pp. 25–26

* '''Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.'''
** Letter to Besso's family (March 1955) following the death of {{w|Michele Besso}}, as quoted in ''Disturbing the Universe'' (1979) by [[Freeman Dyson]] Ch. 17 &quot;A Distant Mirror&quot;, p. 193&lt;!-- DEAD LINK; and in [http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/einsteinsgod/unheardcuts.shtml ''Einstein's God'' (NPR)]--&gt;
** Sometimes misquoted as &quot;Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.&quot;
** Variant: &quot;He has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubborn illusion.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein: His Life and Universe'' by Walter Isaacson (2008), [http://books.google.com/books?id=cdxWNE7NY6QC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA540#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 540].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That signifies nothing. For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.&quot; Quoted in ''Albert Einstein: The Miracle Mind'' by Tabatha Yeatts (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=XiyyVYvQBKQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT114#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 116].
** Variant: &quot;In quitting this strange world he has once again preceded me by a little. That doesn't mean anything. For those of us who believe in physics, this separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, however tenacious.&quot; Quoted in ''The Structure of Physics'' by Carl Friedrich von Weizsäcker (1985), [http://books.google.com/books?id=DeexONN0zDgC&amp;lpg=PR2&amp;pg=PA288#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 288].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has departed a little ahead of me from this quaint world. This means nothing. For us faithful physicists, the separation between past, present, and future has only the meaning of an illusion, though a persistent one.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein and Religion'' by Max Jammer (2002), [http://books.google.com/books?id=TnCc1f1C25IC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA161#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 161].
** Variant: &quot;Now he has preceded me by a little bit in his departure from this strange world as well. This means nothing. For those of us who believe in physics, the distinction between past, present, and future is only an illusion, however tenacious this illusion may be.&quot; Quoted in ''Einstein: A Biography'' by Jürgen Neff (2007), [http://books.google.com/books?id=B8K6n177ZwcC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA402#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 402]

* During that year in Aarau the question came to me: If one runs after a light wave with [a velocity equal to the] light velocity, then one would encounter a time-independent wavefield. However, something like that does not seem to exist! This was the first juvenile thought experiment which has to do with the special theory of relativity. '''Invention is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.'''
** From his &quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot; (18 April 1955), original German version [http://philoscience.unibe.ch/documents/kursarchiv/WS99/Skizze.pdf here]. Translation from ''Subtle is the Lord: The Science and the Life of Albert Einstein'' by Abraham Pais (1982), [http://books.google.com/books?id=U2mO4nUunuwC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA131#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 131]. Pais notes that when he said &quot;during that year&quot;, he was referring to some time between October 1895 and early fall 1896.
** Variant: &quot;Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.&quot;
** Original German version: ''Während dieses Jahres in Aarau kam mir die Frage: Wenn man einer Lichtwelle mit Lichtgeschwindigkeit nachläuft, so würde man ein zeitunabhängiges Wellenfeld vor sich haben. So etwas scheint es aber doch nicht zu geben! Dies war das erste kindliche Gedanken-Experiment, das mit der speziellen Relativitätstheorie zu tun hat. Das Erfinden ist kein Werk des logischen Denkens, wenn auch das Endprodukt an die logische Gestalt gebunden ist.'' (&quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot;, p. 10)

* The work on satisfactory formulation of technical patents was a true blessing for me. It compelled me to be many-sided in thought, and also offered important stimulation for thought about physics. Following a practical profession is a blessing for people of my type. Because the academic career puts a young person in a sort of compulsory situation to produce scientific papers in impressive quantity, a temptation to superficiality arises that only strong characters are able to resist.
** From his &quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot; (18 April 1955), original German version [http://philoscience.unibe.ch/documents/kursarchiv/WS99/Skizze.pdf here]. Translation from ''Einstein from 'B' to 'Z''' by John J. Stachel (2001), [http://books.google.com/books?id=OAsQ_hFjhrAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5].
** Variant: &quot;Working on the final formulation of technological patents was a veritable blessing for me. It enforced many-sided thinking and also provided important stimuli to physical thought. [Academia] places a young person under a kind of compulsion to produce impressive quantities of scientific publications — a temptation to superficiality.&quot; As quoted in [http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0505/resources_who.html &quot;Who Knew?&quot;] at NationalGeographic.com (May 2005).
** Original German version: ''Formulierung technischer Patente ein wahrer Segen für mich. Sie zwang zu vielseitigem Denken, bot auch wichtige Anregungen für das physikalische Denken. Endlich ist ein praktischer Beruf für Menschen meiner Art überhaupt ein Segen. Denn die akademische Laufbahn versetzt einen jungen Menschen in eine Art Zwangslage, wissenschaftliche Schriften in impressiver Menge zu produzieren — eine Verführung zur Oberflächlichkeit, der nur starke Charaktere zu widerstehen vermögen.'' (&quot;Autobiographische Skizze&quot;, p. 12)

* That is simple my friend: because politics is more difficult than physics.
** ''The New York Times'' (22 April, 1955) response to being asked why people could discover atomic power, but not the means to control it.

* The conflict that exists today is no more than an old-style struggle for power, once again presented to mankind in semireligious trappings. The difference is that, this time, the development of atomic power has imbued the struggle with a ghostly character; for both parties know and admit that, should the quarrel deteriorate into actual war, mankind is doomed. 
** (Apr 1955) unfinished address he was writing prior to death.

* '''The important thing is not to stop questioning.''' Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. '''Never lose a holy curiosity'''. ... Don't stop to marvel.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;dq=Life%2C%202%20May%201955&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q=Life,%202%20May%201955&amp;f=false ''Death of a Genius,&quot;''] ''LIFE'' magazine (2 May 1955) statement to William Miller,  p. 64.

[[File:Jacob_Epstein_-_Alfred_Einstein_(1933)_(V%26A).jpg|thumb|right|''Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.'']]
* Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.
** As quoted by ''LIFE'' magazine (2 May 1955)

* It appears dubious whether a field theory can account for the atomistic structure of matter and radiation as well as of quantum phenomena.
** (1955) as quoted in ''Some strangeness in the proportion: a centennial symposium to celebrate the achievements of Albert Einstein'' (1980) Addison-Wesley Pub. Co., Advanced Book Program.

* In matters concerning truth and justice there can be no distinction between big problems and small; for the general principles which determine the conduct of men are indivisible. Whoever is careless with truth in small matters cannot be trusted in important affairs.
** (1955) as quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Historical and Cultural Perspectives'' (1997)  ed. {{w|Gerald Holton}}, {{w|Yehuda Elkana}}, p. 388, from The Centennial Symposium in Jerusalem (1979)

==== ''On the Generalized Theory of Gravitation'' (1950) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Scientific American'' Vol. 182, No. 4. (April 1950)&lt;/small&gt;

* This is the reason why all attempts to obtain a deeper knowledge of the foundations of physics seem doomed to me unless the basic concepts are in accordance with general relativity from the beginning. This situation makes it difficult to use our empirical knowledge, however comprehensive, in looking for the fundamental concepts and relations of physics, and it forces us to apply free speculation to a much greater extent than is presently assumed by most physicists.

* I do not see any reason to assume that the heuristic significance of the principle of general relativity is restricted to gravitation and that the rest of physics can be dealt with separately on the basis of special relativity, with the hope that later on the whole may be fitted consistently into a general relativistic scheme. I do not think that such an attitude, although historically understandable, can be objectively justified. The comparative smallness of what we know today as gravitational effects is not a conclusive reason for ignoring the principle of general relativity in theoretical investigations of a fundamental character. In other words, I do not believe that it is justifiable to ask: What would physics look like without gravitation?

* There exists a passion for comprehension, just as there exists a passion for music. That passion is rather common in children, but it gets lost in most people later on. Without this passion, there would be neither mathematics nor natural science. Time and again the passion for understanding has led to the illusion that man is able to comprehend the objective world rationally, by pure thought, without any [[Empiricism|empirical]] foundations—in short, by [[metaphysics]]. I believe that every true theorist is a kind of tamed metaphysicist, no matter how pure a &quot;[[Positivism|positivist]]&quot; he may fancy himself. The metaphysicist believes that the logically simple is also the real. The tamed metaphysicist believes that not all that is logically simple is embodied in experienced reality, but that the totality of all sensory experience can be &quot;comprehended&quot; on the basis of a conceptual system built on premises of great simplicity. The skeptic will say that this is a &quot;miracle creed.&quot; Admittedly so, but it is a miracle creed which has been borne out to an amazing extent by the development of science.

==== ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950) ====
: &lt;small&gt;A collection of Einstein's essays which cover a period of 1934 to 1950.&lt;/small&gt;

* What is significant in one's own existence one is hardly aware, and it certainly should not bother the other fellow. What does a fish know about the water in which he swims all his life?
** &quot;Self-Portrait&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5]

* This freedom of communication is indispensable for the development and extension of scientific knowledge, a consideration of much practical import. In the first instance it must be guaranteed by law. '''But laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man may present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire population.''' Such an ideal of external liberty can never be fully attained but must be sought unremittingly if scientific thought, and philosophical and creative thinking in general, are to be advanced as far as possible.
** &quot;On Freedom&quot; (1940), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA13#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 13]

* I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
** &quot;Self-Portrait&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5]

* The very fact that the totality of our sense experience is such that by means of thinking (operations with concepts, and the creation and use of definite functional relations between them, and the coordination of sense experience to these concepts) it can be put in order, this fact is one which leaves us in awe, but which we shall never understand. One may say '''&quot;the eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.&quot;''' . . . In speaking here concerning &quot;comprehensibility,&quot; the expression is used in its most modest sense. It implies: the production of some sort of order among sense impressions, this order being produced by the creation of general concepts, relations between these concepts, and by relations between the concepts and sense experience, these relations being determined in any possible manner. It is in this sense that the world of our sense experience is comprehensible. '''The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle.'''
** &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; (1936), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 61]

* Intelligence makes clear to us the interrelation of [[means and ends]]. But mere thinking cannot give us a sense of the ultimate and fundamental ends. To make clear these fundamental ends and valuations, and to set them fast in the emotional life of the individual, seems to me precisely the most important function which religion has to perform in the social life of man.
** &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1939-1941), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA22#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 22]

* '''The highest principles for our aspirations and judgments are given to us in the Jewish-Christian religious tradition. It is a very high goal which, with our weak powers, we can reach only very inadequately, but which gives a sure foundation to our aspirations and valuations.'''
** &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1939-1941), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA23#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 23]

* '''For scientific endeavor is a natural whole the parts of which mutually support one another in a way which, to be sure, no one can anticipate.'''
** &quot;On Freedom&quot; (1940), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA12#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 12]

* And certainly '''we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve'''; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader. This characteristic is reflected in the qualities of its priests, the intellectuals. '''The intellect has a sharp eye for methods and tools, but is blind to ends and values.''' So it is no wonder that this fatal blindness is handed on from old to young and today involves a whole generation.
** &quot;The Goal of Human Existence&quot; (1943)

* One strength of the [[communist system]] of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion. Unless the concept of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it can hardly hope to succeed.
** &quot;Atomic War or Peace&quot; part II (1947)

[[File:Tokyo 1945-3-10-1.jpg|thumb|The objective of avoiding [[w:Global catastrophic risk|total destruction]] must have priority over any other objective.]]
* I advocate world government because I am convinced that there is no other possible way of eliminating the most terrible danger in which man has ever found himself. '''The objective of avoiding [[w:Global catastrophic risk|total destruction]] must have priority over any other objective.'''
** ''A reply to the Soviet scientists'', 1948

* Ethical axioms are founded and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. '''Truth is what stands the test of experience.'''
** &quot;The Laws of Science and the Laws of Ethics&quot; (1950)

==== ''Essay to Leo Baeck'' (1953) ====
[[File:Estatua_de_Einstein._Parque_de_Ciencias_Granada.jpg|thumb|Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;Statements by Einstein from ''Essays Presented to [[wikipedia:Leo Baeck|Leo Baeck]] on the Occasion of His Eightieth Birthday'' (1954), p. 26; Baeck's birthday was 23 May 1953; Einstein Archives 28-962. Some quotes are from ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005) edited by Alice Calaprice, pp. 120-121, others from ''Ideas and Opinions'' by Albert Einstein (1954), where they appear in the section &quot;Aphorisms for Leo Baeck.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]].'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* ''Um ein tadelloses Mitglied einer Schafherde sein zu können, muß man vor allem ein Schaf sein.''
** '''In order to be a perfect member of a flock of [[sheep]], one has to be, foremost, a sheep.'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''
** variant translation from ''Ideas and Opinions'': &quot;In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.&quot;

* '''Hail to the man who went through life always [[helping]] others, knowing no fear, and to whom aggressiveness and resentment are alien.''' Such is the stuff of which the great moral leaders are made.
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''
** variant translation from ''Ideas and Opinions'': &quot;I salute the man who is going through life always helpful, knowing no fear, and to whom aggressiveness and resentment are alien. Such is the stuff of which the great moral leaders are made who proffer consolation to mankind in their self-created miseries.&quot;

* The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful, and then only for a short while.
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* '''Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity [[opinions]] that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''

* Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else—unless it is an enemy.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* ''Die Majorität der Dummen ist unüberwindbar und für alle Zeiten gesichert. Der Schrecken ihrer Tyrannei ist indessen gemildert durch Mangel an Konsequenz''.
** The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* The contrasts and contradictions that can permanently live peacefully side by side in a skull make all the systems of political optimists and pessimists illusory.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

* [[Joy]] in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''

==== ''[[w:Russell–Einstein Manifesto|Russell–Einstein Manifesto]]'' (1955) ====
: &lt;small&gt;[https://pugwash.org/1955/07/09/statement-manifesto/ Full text of the manifesto]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Nagasakibomb.jpg|thumb|right|Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?]]
* '''Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?'''

* '''We are speaking on this occasion, not as members of this or that nation, continent, or creed, but as human beings, members of the species Man, whose continued existence is in doubt.''' The world is full of conflicts; and, overshadowing all minor conflicts, the titanic struggle between Communism and anti-Communism...we want you, if you can, to set aside such feelings and '''consider yourselves only as members of a biological species which has had a remarkable history, and whose disappearance none of us can desire.'''

* It is feared that if many [[w:Thermonuclear weapons|H-bombs]] are used there will be [[w:Human extinction|universal death]], sudden only for a minority, but for the majority a slow torture of disease and disintegration.

=== Attributed in posthumous publications ===
: &lt;small&gt;Posthumous quotes can be particularly problematic, especially where earlier sources are not cited at all. &lt;/small&gt;

* When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
** A comment recalled by János Plesch in ''János, the Story of a Doctor'' (1947), p. 207. Also quoted in ''Einstein: the Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=6IKVA0lY6MAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA118#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 118].
** Variant: &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come close to the conclusion that the gift of imagination has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing absolute knowledge.&quot; From ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2010), [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA26#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 26]. This book attributes it to ''Einstein and the Humanities'' (1979) by Dennis Ryan, p. 125, but Calaprice seems to have copied it wrong, since searching &quot;inside the book&quot; on this book's [http://www.amazon.com/Einstein-Humanities-Contributions-Dennis-Ryan/dp/0313253803 amazon page] using the word &quot;gift&quot; shows that p. 125 actually gives the same quote as in ''János, the Story of a Doctor''.

* God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
** Attributed to Einstein by his colleague Léopold Infeld in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'' (1949), [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA279#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 279]

* I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.
** Attributed to Einstein by his colleague Léopold Infeld in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'' (1949), [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;q=%22garbage+man%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22garbage%20man%22&amp;f=false p. 291]

* Yes, we now have to divide up our time like that, between politics and our equations. '''But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.'''
** Earliest source located is the book ''Brighter than a Thousand Suns: A Personal History of the Atomic Scientists'' by Robert Jungk (1958), p. 249, which says that Einstein made the comment during &quot;a walk with Ernst Straus, a young mathematician acting as his scientific assistant at Princeton.&quot;
** Variant: &quot;Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity.&quot; From ''A Briefer History of Time'' by Stephen Hawking (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=4Y0ZBW19n_YC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA144#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 144].
** Earlier, Straus recalled the German version of the quote in ''Helle Zeit, Dunkle Zeit: In Memoriam Albert Einstein'' (1956) edited by Carl Seelig&lt;!-- Zurich: Europa Verlag --&gt;, p. 71. There the quote was given as ''Ja, so muß man seine Zeit zwischen der Politik und unseren Gleichungen teilen. Aber unsere Gleichungen sind mir doch viel wichtiger; denn die Politik ist für die Gegenwart da, aber solch eine Gleichung is etwas für die Ewigkeit.''

* ''Was mich eigentlich interessiert, ist, ob Gott die Welt hätte anders machen können; das heisst, ob die Forderung der logischen Einfachheit überhaupt eine Freiheit lässt.''
** Quoted by [[wikipedia:Ernst G. Straus|Ernst G. Straus]], who was Einstein's assistant from 1944 to 1948, in Carl Seelig, ''Helle Zeit—Dunkel Zeit'' (Europa Verlag, Zurich, 1956), p. 72
** '''What I am really interested in is knowing whether God could have created the world in a different way'''; in other words, whether the requirement of logical simplicity admits a margin of freedom.
*** As translated in Max Jammer, ''Einstein and Religion'' (Princeton University Press, 1999), p. 124
** What I'm really interested in is whether God could have made the world in a different way; that is, whether the necessity of logical simplicity leaves any freedom at all.
*** As translated in Gerald Holton, [https://books.google.com/books?id=_RU7AAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PR12 ''The Scientific Imagination: Case Studies'' (Cambridge University Press, 1978), p. xii]

* How it happened that I in particular discovered the relativity theory, it seemed to lie in the following circumstance. The normal adult never bothers his head about space-time problems. Everything there is to be thought about it, in his opinion, has already been done in early childhood. I, on the contrary, developed so slowly that I only began to wonder about space and time when I was already grown up. In consequence I probed deeper into the problem than an ordinary child would have done.
** In Carl Seelig's ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), Seelig reports that Einstein said this to James Franck, [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22how+it+happened%22#search_anchor p. 71].
** I sometimes ask myself how did it come that I was the one to develop the theory of relativity. The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think about problems of space and time. But my intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up. Naturally, I could go deeper into the problem than a child with normal abilities.
*** Variant translation which appears in ''Einstein: The Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=6IKVA0lY6MAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA27#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 27]

* You see, when a blind beetle crawls over the surface of a globe he doesn't notice that the track he has covered is curved. I was lucky enough to have spotted it.
** Attributed to Einstein in Carl Seelig's ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22blind+beetle%22#search_anchor p. 80]. Said to have been a comment he made to his son Eduard when Eduard asked him, at age 9, &quot;Why are you actually so famous, papa?&quot;

* No, this trick won't work. The same trick does not work twice. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
** A comment to [[wikipedia:Thomas Hunt Morgan|T. H. Morgan]], as recalled by Henry Borsook. Einstein was visiting Cal Tech where Morgan and Borsook worked, and Morgan explained to Einstein that he was trying to bring physics and chemistry to bear on the problems of biology, to which Einstein gave this response. Borsook's recollection was published in ''Symposium on Structure of Enzymes and Proteins'' (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22so+important+a+biological%22#search_anchor p. 284], as part of a piece titled &quot;Informal remarks 'by way of a summary'&quot;. Context for this story is also given in ''The Molecular Vision of Life'' by Lily E. Kay (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=vEHeNI2a8OEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA95#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 95]

* As far as I'm concerned I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
** Attributed to Einstein in ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' by Carl Seeling (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22silent+vice%22#search_anchor p. 114]. Einstein is said to have made this remark &quot;when someone in his company grew angry about a mutual acquaintance's moral decline&quot;.

* The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
** Attributed by his friend Leo Mattersdorf, who also said that &quot;From the time Professor Einstein came to this country until his death, I prepared his income tax returns and advised him on his tax problems.&quot; In a letter to ''Time'' magazine, 22 February 1963. See [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/03/07/einstein-income-taxes/#more-2031 this post from The Quote Investigator] for more background.

* In the matter of physics, the first lessons should contain nothing but what is experimental and interesting to see. A pretty experiment is in itself often more valuable than twenty formulae extracted from our minds.
** ''Conversations with Einstein'' by Alexander Moszkowski (1971), [http://books.google.com/books?id=_D3wAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22first+lessons+should+contain+nothing+but+what%22#search_anchor p. 69]. This is just Moszkowski's English translation of a statement he attributed to Einstein in his 1922 book ''Einstein, Einblicke in seine Gedankenwelt'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=6zHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA77#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 77]: &quot;Was die Physik betrifft, fuhr Einstein fort, so darf für den ersten Unterricht gar nichts in Frage kommen, als das Experimentelle, anschaulich-Interessante. Ein hübsches Experiment ist schon an sich oft wertvoller, als zwanzig in der Gedankenretorte entwickelte Formeln.&quot; As Moszkowski makes clear in the original German text, this &quot;quotation&quot; is a paraphrasing of his conversation with Einstein.

* The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in our health, or we suffer in our soul, or we get fat.
** Attributed in ''Einstein: The Life and Times'' by Ronald W. Clark (1971), p. 737. The only source given in the end notes is &quot;personal information&quot;. Einstein is said to have made this comment when a box of candy was being passed around after dinner, and he said that his doctor wouldn't let him eat it. The book also says that 'A friend asked him why it was the devil and not God who had imposed the penalty. &quot;What's the difference?&quot; he answered. &quot;One has a plus in front, the other a minus.&quot;'.

* '''I love to travel, but I hate to arrive.'''
** A comment of Einstein's recalled by [[John Archibald Wheeler|John Wheeler]] in ''Albert Einstein: His influence on physics, philosophy and politics'' edited by Peter C. Aichelburg, Roman Ulrich Sexl, and Peter Gabriel Bergmann (1979), p. 202

* '''When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.'''
** An explanation of relativity which he gave to his secretary Helen Dukas to convey to non-scientists and reporters, as quoted in ''Best Quotes of '54, '55, '56'' (1957) by James B. Simpson; also in ''Expandable Quotable Einstein'' (2005) edited by Alice Calaprice
** William Hermanns recorded a series of four conversations he had with Einstein and published them in his book ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983), quoting Einstein saying this variant in a 1948 conversation: '''&quot;To simplify the concept of relativity, I always use the following example: if you sit with a girl on a garden bench and the moon is shining, then for you the hour will be a minute. However, if you sit on a hot stove, the minute will be an hour.&quot;''' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 87])
** In the 1985 book ''Einstein in America'', Jamie Sayen wrote &quot;Einstein devised the following explanation for her [Helen Dukas] to give when asked to explain relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.&quot; ([http://books.google.com/books?ei=yma3TsDWK8WciQL63smAAQ&amp;ct=book-thumbnail&amp;id=vs3aAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=sayen+%22einstein+in+america%22&amp;q=pretty+girl#search_anchor p. 130])

* On quantum theory I use up more brain grease (rough translation of German idiom) than on relativity.
** Quoted by [[Otto Stern]], a colleague of Einstein in Zurich from 1912 to 1914, in a 1962 [http://www.aip.org/history/ohilist/4904.html oral history interview] with [[Thomas Samuel Kuhn|Thomas S. Kuhn]]

* In view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognise, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views.
** Statement to German anti-Nazi diplomat and author Prince Hubertus zu Lowenstein around 1941, as quoted in his book ''Towards the Further Shore : An Autobiography'' (1968) &lt;!-- p. 156 --&gt;

* Much later, when I was discussing cosmological problems with Einstein, '''he remarked that the introduction of the cosmological term was the biggest blunder he ever made in his life.'''
** [[George Gamow]], in his autobiography ''My World Line: An Informal Autobiography'' (1970), p. 44. Here the &quot;cosmological term&quot; refers to the [[wikipedia:Cosmological constant|cosmological constant]] in the equations of general relativity, whose value Einstein initially picked to ensure that his model of the universe would neither expand nor contract; if he hadn't done this he might have theoretically predicted the universal expansion that was first observed by [[Edwin Hubble]].

* We often discussed his notions on objective reality. I recall that during one walk Einstein suddenly stopped, turned to me and asked whether I really believed that the moon exists only when I look at it.
** As recalled by his biographer Abraham Pais in ''Reviews of Modern Physics'', 51, 863 (1979): 907. Cited in ''Boojums All The Way Through'' by N. David Mermin (1990), [http://books.google.com/books?id=bf5bjBk095UC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA81#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 81]

* '''Then I would have felt sorry for the dear Lord. The theory is correct.'''
** When asked by a student what he would have done if Sir [[wikipedia:Arthur Eddington|Arthur Eddington]]'s famous 1919 gravitational lensing experiment, which confirmed relativity, had instead disproved it.
** As quoted in ''Reality and Scientific Truth : Discussions with Einstein, von Laue, and Planck'' (1980) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, p. 74 &lt;!-- Detroit: Wayne State University --&gt;
** Variant: &quot;I would have felt sorry for the dear Lord! The theory is, of course, all right.&quot; Quoted in ''The Physicist's Conception of Nature'' by Jagdish Mehra (1979), [http://books.google.com/books?id=lSoRzxFye-4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA131#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 131]. This source attributes it to a conversation with Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, author of the book the previous version is from.

* '''Dimensionless constants in the laws of nature, which from the purely logical point of view can just as well have different values, should not exist.'''
** German orgiginal: ''Dimensionslose Konstanten in den Naturgesetzen, die vom rein logischen Standpunkt aus ebensogut andere Werte haben können, dürfte es nicht geben.''
** As quoted in ''Begegnungen mit Einstein, von Laue, und Planck'' (1988) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider, p. 31&lt;!-- Vieweg Verlag Braunschweig --&gt;, English edition ''Reality and Scientific Truth : Discussions with Einstein, von Laue, and Planck'' (1980) by Ilse Rosenthal-Schneider &lt;!-- Detroit: Wayne State University --&gt;

* If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.
** As quoted by Ernst Straus in ''Einstein: A Centenary Volume'' by A.P. French (1980), p. 32.
** Variant: &quot;if you want to be a happy man, you should tie your life to a goal, not to other people and not to things.&quot; A quote from Ernst Straus' memoir of Einstein in ''Albert Einstein: Historical and Cultural Perspectives'' edited by Gerald Holton and Yehuda Elkana (1982), [http://books.google.com/books?id=CNuwE3NL1QgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA420#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 420]

*It's a very strange book ([[''The Secret Doctrine'']])  and I've even told [[Werner Heisenberg|professor Heisenberg]], my fellow physicist, to get a copy and keep it on his desk. I urged him to dip into it when he's handicapped by some problem. The strangeness of this book may relax or possibly inspire him.    
**[http://www.blavatskyarchives.com/brown/jackbrownoneinstein.htm ''I Visit Professor Einstein''  by Jack Brown] published in [[w:Ojai Valley News|''Ojai Valley News'']],(28 September 1983)

* If I can't picture it, I can't understand it.
** Attributed to Einstein by physicist [[John Archibald Wheeler]] in John Horgan's article &quot;Profile: Physicist John A. Wheeler, Questioning the 'It from Bit'&quot;. ''Scientific American'', pp. 36-37, June 1991. Reprinted [http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=pioneering-physicist-john-wheeler-dies here] after Wheeler's death.

* I said before, the most beautiful and most profound religious emotion that we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. And this mysticality is the power of all true science. If there is any such concept as a God, it is a subtle spirit, not an image of a man that so many have fixed in their minds. In essence, my religion consists of a humble admiration for this illimitable superior spirit that reveals itself in the slight details that we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds.
** As quoted in ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky and Allen G. Weakland, p. 86

* The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist. I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.
** Statement recorded in the diary of his companion Johanna Fantova, quoted at the end of the ''New York Times'' story [http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/24/nyregion/from-companion-s-lost-diary-a-portrait-of-einstein-in-old-age.html?pagewanted=all&amp;src=pm &quot;From Companion's Lost Diary, A Portrait of Einstein in Old Age&quot;] by Dennis Overbye (24 April 2004)

* Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilisation in high boots.
** Albert Einstein in a letter to his cousin and second wife Elsa, during a visit to the University of Oxford, in collection donated to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in Israel by Einstein's stepdaughter Margot, as quoted in [http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn9555&amp;feedId=online-news_rss20 &quot;Einstein in no-sock shock&quot;], ''New Scientist'' (15 July 2006) &lt;!-- date of letter needed here --&gt;

==== ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' (1979) ====
: &lt;small&gt;[[wikipedia:Helen Dukas|Helen Dukas]] and [[wikipedia:Banesh Hoffmann|Banesh Hoffmann]], ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: New Glimpses From His Archives'' (1979)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Eugène_Delacroix_-_La_liberté_guidant_le_peuple.jpg|thumb|[[Politics]] is a pendulum whose swings between [[anarchy]] and [[tyranny]] are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.]]
[[File:Theosophical_Society_Seal.jpg|thumb| The [[mystical]] trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion.]]

* In the past it never occurred to me that every casual remark of mine would be snatched up and recorded. Otherwise I would have crept further into my shell.
** Letter to Carl Seelig (25 October 1953), p. 22

* Never before have I lived through a storm like the one this night. ... The sea has a look of indescribable grandeur, especially when the sun falls on it. One feels as if one is dissolved and merged into Nature. Even more than usual, one feels the insignificance of the individual, and it makes one happy.
** Entry in a travel diary (10 December 1931) discussing a storm at sea, p. 23

* Measured objectively, what a man can wrest from Truth by passionate striving is utterly infinitesimal. But the striving frees us from the bonds of the self and makes us comrades of those who are the best and the greatest.
** A note Einstein wrote underneath an etching of himself (made by Hermann Struck) which he sent to a friend, Dr. Hans Mühsam. According to the book, &quot;the date is 1920 or perhaps earlier&quot;, p. 24

* There has been an earth for a little more than a billion years. As for the question of the end of it I advise: '''Wait and see!'''
** 19 June 51, p. 34

* '''Where the [[world]] ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings admiring, asking, observing, there we enter the realm of [[Art]] and [[Science]].''' If what is seen and experienced is portrayed in the language of logic, we are engaged in science. If it is communicated through forms whose connections are not accessible to the conscious mind but are recognized intuitively as meaningful, then we are engaged in art. Common to both is love and devotion to that which transcends personal concerns and volition.
** p. 37 - 27 January 1921

* '''Body and [[soul]] are not two different things, but only two different ways of perceiving the same thing.''' Similarly, physics and psychology are only different attempts to link our experiences together by way of systematic thought.
** Aphorism (1937), p. 38

* I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.
** Reply to a letter sent to him on 17 July 1953&lt;!-- ; it is not known if the reply was sent --&gt; p. 39

* I have never imputed to Nature a purpose or a goal, or anything that could be understood as anthropomorphic. What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of &quot;humility.&quot; This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism.
** Draft of a German reply to a letter sent to him in 1954 or 1955&lt;!-- (also not known if this reply was sent) --&gt;, p. 39

* The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.
** Statement (5 February 1921), p. 40

* '''It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.'''
** Letter to an atheist (24 March 1954), p. 43

* Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
** From the same 24 March 1954 letter as above, p. 44

* '''Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.'''
** Letter (30 July 1947), p. 46

* Something there is that can refresh and revivify older people: joy in the activities of the younger generation—a joy, to be sure, that is clouded by dark forebodings in these unsettled times. And yet, as always, the springtime sun brings forth new life, and we may rejoice because of this new life and contribute to its unfolding; and Mozart remains as beautiful and tender as he always was and always will be. There is, after all, something eternal that lies beyond reach of the hand of fate and of all human delusions. And such eternals lie closer to an older person than to a younger one oscillating between fear and hope. For us, there remains the privilege of experiencing beauty and truth in their purest forms.
** Letter to Queen Mother Elizabeth of Belgium (20 March, likely 1936), written to her when she was depressed over the recent death of her husband and daughter-in-law, p. 51

[[File:2006-12-03_Ring_of_love_Edit.jpg|thumb|Falling in [[love]] is not at all the most [[stupid]] thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.]]
* '''Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.'''
** Jotted (in German) on the margins of a letter to him (1933), p. 56
** Unsourced variants: Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. / You can't [[blame]] gravity for falling in love.

* Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
** Letter to California student E. Holzapfel (March 1951) Einstein Archive 59-1013, p. 57

* In my opinion, condemning the Zionist movement as &quot;nationalistic&quot; is unjustified. Consider the path by which [[wikipedia:Theodor Herzl|Herzl]] came to his mission. Initially he had been completely cosmopolitan. But during the [[wikipedia:Dreyfus affair|Dreyfus trial]] in Paris he suddenly realized with great clarity how precarious was the situation of the Jews in the western world. And courageously he drew the conclusion that we are discriminated against or murdered not because we are Germans, Frenchmen, Americans, etc. of the &quot;Jewish faith&quot; but simply because we are Jews. Thus already our precarious situation forces us to stand together irrespective of our citizenship.&lt;br /&gt;Zionism gave the German Jews no great protection against annihilation. But it did give the survivors the inner strength to endure the debacle with dignity and without losing their healthy self respect. Keep in mind that perhaps a similar fate could be lying in wait for your children.
** c. 1946, p. 63-64

* '''Anonymity is no excuse for stupidity.'''
** c. 1948, p. 54

* '''My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance — but for us, not for God.'''
** p. 66 of the 1981 edition

* '''It seems hard to sneak a look at God's cards. But that He plays dice and uses &quot;telepathic&quot; methods... is something that I cannot believe for a single moment.'''
** Letter to Cornel Lanczos (21 March 1942), p. 68
[[File:Buddha_statue,_Nha_Trang.jpg|thumb|What these [[blessed]] men have given us we must guard and try to keep [[alive]] with [[all]] our [[strength]] if [[humanity]] is not to lose its [[dignity]], the [[security]] of its existence, and its [[joy]] in [[living]].]]
[[File:Vittore_Carpaccio_075.jpg|thumb|[[Human]] [[knowledge]] and skills alone cannot lead [[humanity]] to a [[happy]] and [[dignified]] [[life]]. Humanity has every [[reason]] to place the proclaimers of high [[moral]] standards and [[values]] above the discoverers of objective [[truth]].]]
* '''Our time is distinguished by wonderful achievements in the fields of scientific understanding and the technical application of those insights. Who would not be cheered by this? But let us not forget that human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth.''' What humanity owes to personalities like [[wikipedia:Gautama Buddha|Buddha]], [[Moses]], and [[Jesus]] ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the enquiring and constructive mind. &lt;br /&gt; '''What these blessed men have given us we must guard and try to keep alive with all our strength if humanity is not to lose its dignity, the security of its existence, and its joy in living.'''
** Written statement (September 1937), p. 70

[[File:Aivazovsky,_Ivan_-_The_Ninth_Wave.jpg|thumb|When the [[expected]] course of everyday [[life]] is interrupted, we are like shipwrecked people on a miserable plank in the open [[sea]], having forgotten where they came from and not knowing whither they are drifting...]]
* '''For the most part we humans live with the false impression of security and a feeling of being at home in a seemingly trustworthy physical and human environment.''' But when the expected course of everyday life is interrupted, we are like shipwrecked people on a miserable plank in the open sea, having forgotten where they came from and not knowing whither they are drifting. But once we fully accept this, life becomes easier and there is no longer any disappointment.
** Letter (26 April 1945), p. 72

* '''Study and in general the pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.'''
** Letter to Adrianna Enriques (October 1921), p. 83

* '''The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.''' To make this a living force and bring it to clear consciousness is perhaps the foremost task of education. The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound judgment and action.
** Letter to the minister of a church in Brooklyn (20 November 1950), p. 95. The minister had earlier written Einstein asking if he would send him a signed version of a quote about the Catholic church attributed to Einstein in ''Time'' magazine (see the [[#Misattributed]] section below), and Einstein had written back to say the quote was not correct, but that he was &quot;gladly willing to write something else which would suit your purpose&quot;. According to the book, the minister replied &quot;saying he was glad the statement had not been correct since he too had reservations about the historical role of the Church at large&quot;, and said that &quot;he would leave the decision to Einstein as to the topic of the statement&quot;, to which Einstein replied with the statement above.

* If the believers of the present-day religions would earnestly try to think and act in the spirit of the founders of these religions then no hostility on the basis of religion would exist among the followers of the different faiths. '''Even the conflicts and the realm of religion would be exposed as insignificant.'''
** Statement to Christian conference (27 January 1947), p. 96

* Philosophy is like a mother who gave birth to and endowed all the other sciences. Therefore, one should not scorn her in her nakedness and poverty, but should hope, rather, that part of her [[wikipedia:Don Quixote|Don Quixote]] ideal will live on in her children so that they do not sink into philistinism.
** (28 September 1932), p. 106

* I am the one to whom you wrote in care of the Belgian Academy... Read no newspapers, try to find a few friends who think as you do, read the wonderful writers of earlier times, Kant, Goethe, Lessing, and the classics of other lands, and enjoy the natural beauties of Munich's surroundings. Make believe all the time that you are living, so to speak, on Mars among alien creatures and blot out any deeper interest in the actions of those creatures. Make friends with a few animals. Then you will become a cheerful man once more and nothing will be able to trouble you. &lt;br /&gt; Bear in mind that those who are finer and nobler are always alone — and necessarily so — and that because of this they can enjoy the purity of their own atmosphere. &lt;br /&gt; I shake your hand in heartfelt comradeship, E.
** Response to a letter from an unemployed professional musician (5 April 1933), p. 115
** The editors precede this passage thus, &quot;Early in 1933, Einstein received a letter from a professional musician who presumably lived in Munich. The musician was evidently troubled and despondent, and out of a job, yet at the same time, he must have been something of a kindred spirit. His letter is lost, all that survives being Einstein's reply....Note the careful anonymity of the first sentence — the recipient would be safer that way:&quot; ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' concludes with this passage, followed by the original passages in German.

==== ''Albert Einstein: A guide for the perplexed'' (1979) ====
: &lt;small&gt;Kenneth Brecher, &quot;Albert Einstein: 14 March, 1879 – 18 April, 1955 A guide for the perplexed&quot;, ''Nature'' 278 (15 March 1979), pp. 215–218, [[doi:10.1038/278215a0]]. The article is described as &quot;A brief collection of direct and indirect quotations by or about Albert Einstein.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;
* The most important tool of the theoretical physicist is his wastebasket.
** Told by P. Morrison

* Physics is essentially an intuitive and concrete science. Mathematics is only a means for expressing the laws that govern phenomena.
** From ''Lettre à Maurice Solvine'', by A. Einstein (Gauthier-Villars: Paris 1956)

* Who would have thought around 1900 that in fifty years time we would know so much more and understand so much less.
** From ''Albert Einstein and the Cosmic World Order'', by C. Lanczos (Wiley, New York, 1956)

==== ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983) ====
[[File:Observable universe logarithmic illustration.png|thumb|It is [[intuition]] that improves the [[world]], not just following a trodden path of [[thought]]. Intuition makes us look at unrelated [[facts]] and then think about them until they can all be brought under one [[law]]. To look for related facts means holding onto what one has instead of searching for new facts.]]
[[File:Empyrean_Light_and_Shadows_of_Salvation.jpg|thumb| Let us [[accept]] the [[world]] is a [[mystery]]. [[Nature]] is neither solely [[material]] nor entirely [[spiritual]]. [[Man]], too, is more than flesh and [[blood]]; otherwise, no [[religions]] would have been possible. Behind each [[cause]] is still another cause; the [[end]] or the [[beginning]] of [[all]] causes has yet to be found.]]
[[File:JUL Xaos Pattern.png|thumb|The genuine [[scientist]] is not moved by [[praise]] or [[blame]], nor does he [[preach]]. He unveils the [[universe]] and [[people]] come eagerly, without being pushed, to behold a new [[revelation]]: the [[order]], the [[harmony]], the [[magnificence]] of [[creation]]! And as man becomes [[conscious]] of the stupendous [[laws]] that [[govern]] the universe in [[perfect]] harmony, he begins to realize how small he is. He sees the pettiness of [[human]] [[existence]], with its [[ambitions]] and intrigues, its &quot;[[Arrogance|I am better than thou]]&quot; [[creed]]. This is the [[beginning]] of [[cosmic]] [[religion]] within him; [[fellowship]] and human [[service]] become his [[moral]] code. And without such [[Ethics|moral foundations]], we are hopelessly [[doomed]].]]
: &lt;small&gt;William Hermanns, ''Einstein and the Poet: In Search of the Cosmic Man'' (1983). From a series of meetings Hermanns had with Einstein in 1930, 1943, 1948, and 1954, during which he took notes on what Einstein said (though it's unclear if he recorded the exact phrasing or filled in words from memory). Another person present at the 1954 conversation offered his own slightly different transcription of Einstein's comments, which was published in the article [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA62#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Death of a Genius&quot;] from the 2 May, 1955 issue of ''Life Magazine''. &quot;Einstein and the Poet&quot; is viewable on Google Books [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC here].&lt;/small&gt;

First conversation (1930):

* School failed me, and I failed the school. It bored me. The teachers behaved like ''Feldwebel'' (sergeants). I wanted to learn what I wanted to know, but they wanted me to learn for the exam. What I hated most was the competitive system there, and especially sports. Because of this, I wasn't worth anything, and several times they suggested I leave. This was a Catholic School in Munich. I felt that my thirst for knowledge was being strangled by my teachers; grades were their only measurement. How can a teacher understand youth with such a system? . . . from the age of twelve I began to suspect authority and distrust teachers. I learned mostly at home, first from my uncle and then from a student who came to eat with us once a week. He would give me books on physics and astronomy. The more I read, the more puzzled I was by the order of the universe and the disorder of the human mind, by the scientists who didn't agree on the how, the when, or the why of creation. Then one day this student brought me Kant's ''Critique of Pure Reason''. Reading Kant, I began to suspect everything I was taught. I no longer believed in the known God of the Bible, but rather in the mysterious God expressed in nature.
** p. 8

* The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because our senses are limited, we can't grasp them. There is a pattern in creation.
** p. 10

* But we have higher mathematics, haven't we? This gives me freedom from my senses. The language of mathematics is even more inborn and universal than the language of music; a mathematical formula is crystal clear and independent of all sense organs. I therefore built a mathematical laboratory, set myself in it as if I were sitting in a car, and moved along with a beam of light.
** p. 11

* Since others have explained my theory, I can no longer understand it myself.
** p. 13

* Science is never finished because the human mind only uses a small portion of its capacity, and man's exploration of his world is also limited. If we look at this tree outside whose roots search beneath the pavement for water, or a flower which sends its sweet smell to the pollinating bees, or even our own selves and the inner forces that drive us to act, we can see that we all dance to a mysterious tune, and the piper who plays this melody from an inscrutable distance—whatever name we give him—Creative Force, or God—escapes all book knowledge.
** p. 14

* Many people think that the progress of the human race is based on experiences of an empirical, critical nature, but I say that true knowledge is to be had only through a philosophy of deduction. For it is intuition that improves the world, not just following a trodden path of thought. Intuition makes us look at unrelated facts and then think about them until they can all be brought under one law. To look for related facts means holding onto what one has instead of searching for new facts. Intuition is the father of new knowledge, while [[empiricism]] is nothing but an accumulation of old knowledge. Intuition, not intellect, is the 'open sesame' of yourself.
** p. 16

* What do you think of [[Spinoza]]? For me he is the ideal example of the cosmic man. He worked as an obscure diamond cutter, disdaining fame and a place at the table of the great. He tells us the importance of understanding our emotions and suggests what causes them. Man will never be free until he is able to direct his emotions to think clearly. Only then can he control his environment and preserve his energy for creative work.
** p. 26

* What a betrayal of man's dignity. '''He uses the highest gift, his mind, only ten percent, and his emotions and instincts ninety percent.'''
** p. 31; spoken on hearing German marchers singing war songs. On p. 474 of Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', she lists &quot;we only use 10 percent of our brain&quot; as a quote &quot;misattributed to Einstein&quot;, perhaps this is the source of the misquote? Einstein seems to be speaking metaphorically here, not endorsing the [http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/10percent.asp myth] that science has shown 90 percent of the neurons in our brain lie dormant. And the myth dates back to before this interview, for example the book ''Mind Myths: Exploring Popular Assumptions About the Mind and Brain'', edited by Sergio Della Salla, has a chapter by Barry L. Beyerstein titled &quot;Whence Cometh the Myth that We Only Use 10% of our Brains?&quot; which shows on p. 11 an advertisement from the 1929 ''World Almanac'' containing the line &quot;There is NO LIMIT to what the human brain can accomplish. Scientists and psychologists tell us we use only about TEN PER CENT of our brain power.&quot;

Second conversation (1943):

* Matter is real to my senses, but they aren't trustworthy. If [[Galileo]] or [[Copernicus]] had accepted what they saw, they would never have discovered the movement of the earth and planets.
** p. 59

* Electromagnetic fields are not of the mind... Creation may be spiritual in origin, but that doesn't mean that everything created is spiritual. How can I explain such things to you? '''Let us [[accept]] the [[world]] is a [[mystery]]. [[Nature]] is neither solely [[material]] nor entirely [[spiritual]]. [[Man]], too, is more than flesh and [[blood]]; otherwise, no [[religions]] would have been possible. Behind each [[cause]] is still another cause; the [[end]] or the [[beginning]] of [[all]] causes has yet to be found. Behind each cause is still another cause; the end or the beginning of all causes has yet to be found. Yet, only one thing must be remembered: there is no effect without a cause, and there is no lawlessness in creation&quot;.'''
** p. 59

* '''If I hadn't an absolute faith in the harmony of creation, I wouldn't have tried for thirty years to express it in a mathematical formula.''' It is only man's consciousness of what he does with his mind that elevates him above the animals, and enables him to become aware of himself and his relationship to the universe.
** p. 61

* '''I believe that I have cosmic religious feelings. I never could grasp how one could satisfy these feelings by praying to limited objects.''' The tree outside is life, a statue is dead. The whole of nature is life, and life, as I observe it, rejects a God resembling man. I like to experience the universe as one harmonious whole. Every cell has life. Matter, too, has life; it is energy solidified. Our bodies are like prisons, and I look forward to be free, but I don't speculate on what will happen to me. I live here now, and my responsibility is in this world now. . . . I deal with natural laws. This is my work here on earth.
** p. 64

* '''The world needs new moral impulses which, I'm afraid, won't come from the churches, heavily compromised as they have been throughout the centuries.''' Perhaps those impulses must come from scientists in the tradition of [[Galileo]], [[Kepler]] and [[Newton]]. In spite of failures and persecutions, these men devoted their lives to proving that the universe is a single entity, in which, I believe, a humanized God has no place. The genuine [[scientist]] is not moved by [[praise]] or [[blame]], nor does he [[preach]]. He unveils the [[universe]] and [[people]] come eagerly, without being pushed, to behold a new [[revelation]]: the [[order]], the [[harmony]], the [[magnificence]] of [[creation]]! And as man becomes [[conscious]] of the stupendous [[laws]] that [[govern]] the universe in [[perfect]] harmony, he begins to realize how small he is. He sees the pettiness of [[human]] [[existence]], with its [[ambitions]] and intrigues, its &quot;[[Arrogance|I am better than thou]]&quot; [[creed]]. '''This is the [[beginning]] of [[cosmic]] [[religion]] within him; [[fellowship]] and human [[service]] become his [[moral]] code. And without such [[Ethics|moral foundations]], we are hopelessly [[doomed]].'''
** p. 66

Third conversation (1948):

* '''The God Spinoza revered is my God, too: I meet Him everyday in the harmonious laws which govern the universe.''' My religion is cosmic, and my God is too universal to concern himself with the intentions of every human being. '''I do not accept a religion of fear; My God will not hold me responsible for the actions that necessity imposes.''' My God speaks to me through laws.
** p. 89

* '''I believe in one thing—that only a life lived for others is a life worth living.'''
** p. 91

* If we want to improve the world we cannot do it with scientific knowledge but with ideals. [[Confucius]], [[Buddha]], [[Jesus]] and [[Gandhi]] have done more for [[humanity]] than science has done. We must begin with the [[heart]] of man—with his [[conscience]]—and the values of conscience can only be manifested by selfless service to mankind. In this respect, I feel that the Churches have much guilt. She has always allied herself with those who rule, who have political power, and more often than not, at the expense of peace and humanity as a whole.
** p. 92

* [[Religion]] and [[science]] go together. As I've said before, science without religion is lame and religion without science is blind. They are interdependent and have a common goal—the search for truth. Hence it is absurd for religion to proscribe Galileo or Darwin or other scientists. And it is equally absurd when scientists say that there is no God. The real scientist has faith, which does not mean that he must subscribe to a creed. Without religion there is no charity. The soul given to each of us is moved by the same living spirit that moves the universe.
** p. 94

* I believe that we don't need to worry about what happens after this life, as long as we do our duty here—to love and to serve.
** p. 94

* I have faith in the universe, for it is rational. Law underlies each happening. And I have faith in my purpose here on earth. I have faith in my intuition, the language of my conscience, but I have no faith in speculation about Heaven and Hell. I'm concerned with this time—here and now.
** p. 94

* Philosophy is empty if it isn't based on science. Science discovers, philosophy interprets.
** p. 98

* And the traditional religions worry me. Their long history proves that they have not understood the meaning of the commandment: Thou shalt not kill. If we want to save this world from unimaginable destruction we should concentrate not on the faraway God, but on the heart of the individual. We live now in an international anarchy in which a Third World War with nuclear weapons lies before our door. We must make the individual man aware of his conscience so that he understands what it means that only a few will survive the next war.
** p. 98

* Indeed, it is not intellect, but intuition which advances humanity. Intuition tells man his purpose in this life.
** p. 103

* I do not need any promise of eternity to be happy. My eternity is now. I have only one interest: to fulfill my purpose here where I am. This purpose is not given me by my parents or my surroundings. It is induced by some unknown factors. These factors make me a part of eternity.
** p. 103

* I cannot conceive of anything after my physical death—perhaps it will end it all. The knowledge that I am now on this earth and a mysterious part of eternity is enough for me. My death will be an easy one, too, for since early youth I have always detached myself from family, friends, and surroundings. And should I live on, I have no fear of the next life. Whatever good I did helped to free me from myself. What a miserable creature man would be if he were good not for the sake of being good, but because religion told him that he would get a reward after this life, and that if he weren't good he'd be punished.
** p. 104

* My God may not be your idea of God, but one thing I know of my God — he makes me a humanitarian. I am a proud Jew because we gave the world the Bible and the story of Joseph.
** p. 106

* America is a democracy and has no Hitler, but I am afraid for her future; there are hard times ahead for the American people, troubles will be coming from within and without. America cannot smile away their Negro problem nor Hiroshima and Nagasaki. There are cosmic laws.
** p. 108

* ''[in response to a question about what was meant by his &quot;cosmic religion&quot;]'' It is not a religion that teaches that man is made in the image of God—that is anthropomorphic. Man has infinite dimensions and finds God in his conscience. This religion has no dogma other than teaching man that the universe is rational and that his highest destiny is to ponder it and co-create with its laws. There are only two limiting factors: first, that what seems impenetrable to us is as important as what is cut and dried; and, second, that our faculties are dull and can only comprehend wisdom and serene beauty in crude forms, but the heart of man through intuition leads us to greater understanding of ourselves and the universe. My religion is based on Moses: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. And for me God is the First Cause. David and the prophets knew that there could be no love without justice or justice without love. I don't need any other religious trappings.
** p. 108

* I believe the main task of the spirit is to free man from his ego.
** p. 109

* But then, after all, we are all alike, for we are all derived from the monkey.
** p. 110

* If I had foreseen [[wikipedia:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|Hiroshima and Nagasaki]], I would have torn up my formula in 1905.
** p. 112

Fourth conversation (1954):

* Wait a minute! I am not a mystic. Trying to find out the laws of nature has nothing to do with mysticism, though in the face of creation I feel very humble. It is as if a spirit is manifest infinitely superior to man's spirit. Through my pursuit in science I have known cosmic religious feelings. But I don't care to be called a mystic.
** p. 117

* About God, I cannot accept any concept based on the authority of the Church. As long as I can remember, I have resented mass indoctrination. I do not believe in the fear of life, in the fear of death, in blind faith. I cannot prove to you that there is no personal God, but if I were to speak of him, I would be a liar. '''I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws.'''
** p. 132
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;I cannot accept any concept of God based on the fear of life or the fear of death, or blind faith. I cannot prove to you that there is no personal God, but if I were to speak of him I would be a liar.&quot;

* You must warn people not to make the intellect their God. The intellect knows methods but it seldom knows values, and they come from feeling. If one doesn't play a part in the creative whole, he is not worth being called human. He has betrayed his true purpose.
** p. 135

* Certainly there are things worth believing. I believe in the brotherhood of man and in personal originality. But if you asked me to prove what I believe, I couldn't. You can spend your whole life trying to prove what you believe; you may hunt for reasons, but it will all be in vain. Yet our beliefs are like our existence; they are facts. If you don't yet know what to believe in, then try to learn what you feel and desire.
** p. 136
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Certainly there are things worth believing. I believe in the brotherhood of man and the uniqueness of the individual. But if you ask me to prove what I believe, I can't. You know them to be true but you could spend a whole lifetime without being able to prove them. The mind can proceed only so far upon what it knows and can prove. There comes a point where the mind takes a leap—call it intuition or what you will—and comes out upon a higher plane of knowledge, but can never prove how it got there. All great discoveries have involved such a leap.&quot;
** Unsourced variant: &quot;The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you do not know how or why. All great discoveries are made in this way.&quot; The earliest published version of this variant appears to be ''The Human Side of Scientists'' by Ralph Edward Oesper (1975), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-J0cAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22solution+comes+to+you+and+you+do+not+know%22&amp;dq=%22solution+comes+to+you+and+you+do+not+know%22&amp;hl=en p. 58], but no source is provided, and the similarity to the &quot;Life Magazine&quot; quote above suggests it's likely a misquote.

* It's not as simple as that. Knowledge is necessary, too. An intuitive child couldn't accomplish anything without some knowledge. There will come a point in everyone's life, however, where only intuition can make the leap ahead, without ever knowing precisely how. One can never know why, but one must accept intuition as a fact.
** p. 137
** In response to statement &quot;You once told me that progress is made only by intuition, and not by the accumulation of knowledge.&quot;
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;It is not quite so simple. Knowledge is necessary too. A child with great intuition could not grow up to become something worthwhile in life without some knowledge. However there comes a point in everyone's life where only intuition can make the leap ahead, without knowing precisely how.&quot;:

* Don't think about why you question, simply don't stop questioning. Don't worry about what you can't answer, and don't try to explain what you can't know. Curiosity is its own reason. Aren't you in awe when you contemplate the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure behind reality? And this is the miracle of the human mind—to use its constructions, concepts, and formulas as tools to explain what man sees, feels and touches. Try to comprehend a little more each day. Have holy curiosity.
** p. 138
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Then do not stop to think about the reasons for what you are doing, about why you are questioning. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. Never lose a holy curiosity.&quot;

* First you must have faith in an eternal world independent of you; then you must have faith in your ability to perceive it, and finally you must try to explain it by means of concepts or mathematical constructions. But don't always accept traditional concepts without reexamining them. Even overthrow my relativity theory, if you find a better one. . . . You must believe that the world was created as a unified whole which is comprehensible to man. Of course, it's going to take an infinitely long time to investigate this unified creation. But to me that is the highest and most sacred duty—unifying physics. Simplicity is the criterion of the universe.
** p. 139

* Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.
** p. 142

* Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value. Look around at how people want to get more out of life than they put in. A man of value will give more than he receives. Be creative, but make sure that what you create is not a curse for mankind.
** p. 143
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives.&quot;

==== ''Einstein's God'' (1997) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Einstein's God — Albert Einstein's Quest as a Scientist and as a Jew to Replace a Forsaken God'' (1997) by Robert N. Goldman &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|1568219830}} &lt;/small&gt; &lt;!-- Joyce Aronson Inc.; Northvale, New Jersey --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.'''&lt;!-- p. vii --&gt;

[[File:Christ_with_beard.jpg|thumb|I have always believed that [[Jesus]] meant by the [[Kingdom of God]] the small group scattered [[all]] through [[time]] of [[intellectually]] and [[ethically]] valuable people.]]
* A man who is convinced of the truth of his religion is indeed never tolerant. At the least, he is to feel pity for the adherent of another religion but usually it does not stop there. The faithful adherent of a religion will try first of all to convince those that believe in another religion and usually he goes on to hatred if he is not successful. However, hatred then leads to persecution when the might of the majority is behind it.&lt;br /&gt; In the case of a Christian clergyman, the tragic-comical is found in this: that the Christian religion demands love from the faithful, even love for the enemy. This demand, because it is indeed superhuman, he is unable to fulfill. Thus intolerance and hatred ring through the oily words of the clergyman. The love, which on the Christian side is the basis for the conciliatory attempt towards Judaism is the same as the love of a child for a cake. That means that it contains the hope that the object of the love will be eaten up...
** Letter to Rabbi Solomon Goldman of Chicago's Anshe Emet Congregation, p. 51

* If I would follow your advice and [[Jesus]] could perceive it, he, as a Jewish teacher, surely would not approve of such behavior.
** Reply to a Roman Catholic student urging him to pray to Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, and convert to Christianity.
** p. 88

* '''The fact that man produces a concept &quot;I&quot; besides the totality of his mental and emotional experiences or perceptions does not prove that there must be any specific existence behind such a concept. We are succumbing to illusions produced by our self-created language, without reaching a better understanding of anything.''' Most of so-called philosophy is due to this kind of [[fallacy]].
** p. 89

* '''One has a feeling that one has a kind of [[home]] in this timeless community of human beings that strive for truth. ... I have always believed that Jesus meant by the [[Kingdom of God]] the small group scattered all through time of intellectually and ethically valuable people.'''
** p. 98

* To take those fools in clerical garb seriously is to show them too much honor.
** Comment on the Union of Orthodox Rabbis after they had expelled a rabbi because of his disbelief in God as a [[wikipedia:Person|personal]] entity.

==== ''Einstein and Religion'' (1999) ====
: &lt;small&gt;''Einstein and Religion: Physics and Theology'' (1999) by Max Jammer &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|069110297X}}&lt;/small&gt; &lt;!--Princeton University Press --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;

* Professor Smith has kindly submitted his book to me before publication. After reading it thoroughly and with intense interest I am glad to comply with his request to give him my impression. &lt;br /&gt; The work is a broadly conceived attempt to portray man's fear-induced animistic and mythic ideas with all their far-flung transformations and interrelations. It relates the impact of these phantasmagorias on human destiny and the causal relationships by which they have become crystallized into organized religion. &lt;br /&gt; This is a biologist speaking, whose scientific training has disciplined him in a grim objectivity rarely found in the pure historian. This objectivity has not, however, hindered him from emphasizing the boundless suffering which, in its end results, this mythic thought has brought upon man. &lt;br /&gt; Professor Smith envisages as a redeeming force, training in objective observation of all that is available for immediate perception and in the interpretation of facts without preconceived ideas. In his view, only if every individual strives for truth can humanity attain a happier future; the atavisms in each of us that stand in the way of a friendlier destiny can only thus be rendered ineffective. &lt;br /&gt; His historical picture closes with the end of the nineteenth century, and with good reason. By that time it seemed that the influence of these mythic, authoritatively anchored forces which can be denoted as religious, had been reduced to a tolerable level in spite of all the persisting inertia and hypocrisy. &lt;br /&gt; Even then, a new branch of mythic thought had already grown strong, one not religious in nature but no less perilous to mankind — exaggerated nationalism. Half a century has shown that this new adversary is so strong that it places in question man's very survival. It is too early for the present-day historian to write about this problem, but it is to be hoped that one will survive who can undertake the task at a later date.
** Foreword of &quot;Man and his Gods&quot; by Homer W. Smith

* '''We followers of [[Spinoza]] see our God in the wonderful order and lawfulness of all that exists and in its soul (&quot;Beseeltheit&quot;) as it reveals itself in man and animal.''' It is a different question whether belief in a personal God should be contested. Freud endorsed this view in his latest publication. I myself would never engage in such a task. For such a belief seems to me preferable to the lack of any transcendental outlook of life, and I wonder whether one can ever successfully render to the majority of mankind a more sublime means in order to satisfy its metaphysical needs.
** From a letter to Eduard Büsching (25 October 1929) after Büsching sent Einstein a copy of his book ''Es gibt keinen Gott'' [''There Is no God'']. Einstein responded that the book only dealt with the concept of a ''personal'' God, p. 51

* Speaking of the spirit that informs modern scientific investigations, I am of the opinion that all the finer speculations in the realm of science spring from a deep religious feeling, and that without such a feeling they would not be fruitful. '''I also believe that, this kind of religiousness, which makes itself felt today in scientific investigations, is the only creative religious activity of our time.''' The art of today can hardly be looked upon at all as expressive of our religious instincts.
** Interview with J. Murphy and J. W. N. Sullivan (1930), p. 68

* Scientific research is based on the assumption that all events, including the actions of mankind, are determined by the laws of nature. Therefore, a research scientist will hardly be inclined to believe that events could be influenced by a prayer, that is, by a wish addressed to a supernatural Being. However, we have to admit that our actual knowledge of these laws is only an incomplete piece of work (unvollkommenes Stückwerk), so that ultimately the belief in the existence of fundamental all-embracing laws also rests on a sort of faith. All the same, this faith has been largely justified by the success of science. On the other hand, however, '''every one who is seriously engaged in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that the laws of nature manifest the existence of a spirit vastly superior to that of men, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble.''' The pursuit of science leads therefore to a religious feeling of a special kind, which differs essentially from the religiosity of more naive people.
** Letter in response to sixth-grader Phyllis Wright, asking whether scientists pray, and if so, what they pray for (24 January 1936) p. 92-93

* I was barked at by numerous dogs who are earning their food guarding ignorance and superstition for the benefit of those who profit from it. Then there are the fanatical atheists whose intolerance is of the same kind as the intolerance of the religious fanatics and comes from the same source. They are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who—in their grudge against the traditional &quot;opium for the people&quot;—cannot bear the music of the spheres. '''The Wonder of nature does not become smaller because one cannot measure it by the standards of human moral and human aims.'''
** Letter (7 August 1941) discussing responses to his essay &quot;Science and Religion&quot; (1941), p. 97

* I have found no better expression than &quot;religious&quot; for confidence in the rational nature of reality as it is accessible to human reason. Wherever this feeling is absent, science degenerates into uninspired empiricism. ... I cannot accept your opinion concerning science and ethics or the determination of aims. What we call science has the sole purpose of determining what ''is''. The determining of what ''ought to be'' is unrelated to it and cannot be accomplished methodically. '''Science can only arrange ethical propositions logically and furnish the means for the realization of ethical aims, but the determination of aims is beyond its scope.''' At least that is the way I see it.
** Letter to his friend Maurice Solovine (1 January 1951) p. 120

* The idea of a personal God is quite alien to me and seems even naive. However, I am also not a &quot;Freethinker&quot; in the usual sense of the word because I find that this is in the main an attitude nourished exclusively by an opposition against naive superstition. My feeling is insofar religious as I am imbued with the consciousness of the insufficiency of the human mind to understand deeply the harmony of the Universe which we try to formulate as &quot;laws of nature.&quot; It is this consciousness and humility I miss in the Free-thinker mentality.
** Letter to Beatrice F. in response to a question about whether he was a &quot;free thinker&quot; (17 December 1952), p. 121
{{anchor|details}}
* '''I want to know how God created this world. I'm not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts, the rest are details.'''
** As quoted in &quot;A Talk with Einstein&quot; in ''The Listener'' 54 (1955)&lt;!-- , p. 370-371, --&gt; p. 123

* It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropomorphic concept which I cannot take seriously. I feel also not able to imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. My views are near to those of Spinoza: admiration for the beauty of and belief in the logical simplicity of the order and harmony which we can grasp humbly and only imperfectly. '''I believe that we have to content ourselves with our imperfect knowledge and understanding and treat values and moral obligations as a purely human problem—the most important of all human problems.'''
** From a letter to Murray W. Gross (26 April 1947), p. 138

* The mere formulation of a problem is far more often essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative imagination and makes real advances in science
** http://umich.edu/~scps/html/01chap/html/summary.htm

{{Disputed begin}}

==Disputed==
* '''There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.'''
** As quoted in ''Journal of France and Germany'' (1942–1944) by [[w:Gilbert F. White|Gilbert Fowler White]], in excerpt published in ''Living with Nature's Extremes: The Life of Gilbert Fowler White'' (2006) by Robert E. Hinshaw, p. 62. From the [http://books.google.com/books?id=_2qfZRp9SeEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA62#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false context] it seems that White did not specify whether he had heard Einstein himself say this or whether he was repeating a quote that had been passed along by someone else, so without a primary source the validity of this quote should be considered questionable. &lt;br /&gt; Some have argued that elsewhere Einstein defined a &quot;miracle&quot; as a type of event he did not believe was possible—''Einstein on Religion'' by Max Jammer (1999) quotes on p. 89 from a 1931 conversation Einstein had with David Reichinstein, where Reichinstein brought up philosopher Arthur Liebert's argument that the indeterminism of quantum mechanics might allow for the possibility of miracles, and Einstein replied that Liebert's argument dealt &quot;with a domain in which lawful rationality [determinism] does not exist. A 'miracle,' however, is an exception from lawfulness; hence, there where lawfulness does not exist, also its exception, i.e., a miracle, cannot exist.&quot; (&quot;''Dort, wo eine Gesetzmässigkeit nicht vorhanden ist, kann auch ihre Ausnahme, d.h. ein Wunder, nicht existieren.''&quot; D. Reichenstein, ''Die Religion der Gebildeten'' (1941), p. 21).  However, it is clear from the context that Einstein was stating only that miracles cannot exist in a domain (quantum mechanics) where lawful rationality does not exist.  He did not claim that miracles could never exist in any domain.  Indeed, Einstein clearly believed, as seen in many quotations above, that the universe was comprehensible and rational, but he also described this characteristic of the universe as a &quot;miracle&quot;. In another example, he is quoted as claiming belief in a God, &quot;Who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world.&quot; 
** Variant: '''There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.'''
*** As quoted in ''From Yale to Jail: The Life Story of a Moral Dissenter'' (1993) by [[w:David Dellinger|David T. Dellinger]], p. 418

* It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service.
** No known source; it appears to be a paraphrase of the last sentence of Einstein's [[#Ideal of Service|&quot;An Ideal of Service to Our Fellow Man&quot;]]. Earliest known attribution is in the ''Washingon Afro-American'', ''AFRO Magazine Section'', Sept 21, 1954, [http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=I8slAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=6_QFAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=4494,1273325 p. 2]
* The measure of intelligence is the ability to change
* The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects.
** Attributed without source to Einstein in Mieczyslaw Taube, ''Evolution of Matter and Energy on a Cosmic and Planetary Scale'' (1985), page 1

* In December, 1947, he made the following statement: &quot;I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my life.&quot;
** Attributed in FBI Memo, February 13, 1950 (item 61-4099-25 in Einstein's FBI file—viewable online as p. 72 of &quot;Albert Einstein Part 1 of 14&quot; [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein here], as well as p. 72 of the pdf file which can be downloaded [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein/Albert%20Einstein%20Part%201%20of%2014/at_download/file here]). There is no other information in the FBI's released files as to what source attributed this statement to Einstein, and the files are full of falsehoods, including the accusation that Einstein was secretly pro-communist.

* '''Common sense is actually nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind prior to the age of eighteen.'''
** ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice lists this as &quot;probably not by Einstein&quot;. However, [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/29/common-sense/ this post from quoteinvestigator.com] traces it to a reasonably plausible source: the second part of a three-part series by Lincoln Barrett (former editor of 'Life' magazine) titled &quot;The Universe and Dr. Einstein&quot; in Harper's Magazine, from May 1948, in which Barrett wrote &quot;But as Einstein has pointed out, common sense is actually nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind prior to the age of eighteen.&quot; Since he didn't put the statement in quotes it could be a paraphrase, and &quot;as Einstein has pointed out&quot; makes it unclear whether Einstein said this personally to Barrett or Barrett was recalling a quote of Einstein's he'd seen elsewhere. In any case, the interview was republished in a book of the same title, and Einstein wrote a foreword which praised Barrett's work on the book, so it's likely he read the quote about common sense and at least had no objection to it, whether or not he recalled making the specific comment.
** Unsourced variant: Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

* Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe.
**Variants: &quot;... is man's greatest invention&quot; and &quot;... is the eighth wonder of the world&quot;.
**May add: &quot;He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn't, pays it.&quot;
**[http://www.snopes.com/quotes/einstein/interest.asp This Snopes article] concluded that its status was uncertain, while [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/31/compound-interest/ this post from The Quote Investigator] concludes it is most likely a false attribution, since variants of the quote date back to at least 1916, with the early variants not being attributed to Einstein.

* Fairy tales and more fairy tales. [in response to a mother who wanted her son to become a scientist and asked Einstein what reading material to give him]
**Found in ''Montana Libraries: Volumes 8-14'' (1954), [http://books.google.com/books?id=PpwaAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22more+fairy+tales%22#search_anchor p. cxxx]. The story is given as follows: &quot;In the current New Mexico Library Bulletin, Elizabeth Margulis tells a story of a woman who was a personal friend of the late dean of scientists, Dr. Albert Einstein. Motivated partly by her admiration for him, she held hopes that her son might become a scientist. One day she asked Dr. Einstein's advice about the kind of reading that would best prepare the child for this career. To her surprise, the scientist recommended 'Fairy tales and more fairy tales.' The mother protested that she was really serious about this and she wanted a serious answer; but Dr. Einstein persisted, adding that creative imagination is the essential element in the intellectual equipment of the true scientist, and that fairy tales are the childhood stimulus to this quality.&quot; However, it is unclear from this description whether Margulis heard this story personally from the woman who had supposedly had this discussion with Einstein, and the [[relevant]] issue of the ''New Mexico Library Bulletin'' does not appear to be online.
** Variant: &quot;First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!&quot; Found in ''The Wilson Library Bulletin'', Vol. 37 from 1962, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=KfQOAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor p. 678] that this quote was reported by &quot;Doris Gates, writer and children's librarian&quot;.
** Variant: &quot;Fairy tales ... More fairy tales ... Even more fairy tales&quot;. Found in ''Breaking the Magic Spell: Radical Theories of Folk and Fairy Tales'' by Jack Zipes (1979), [http://books.google.com/books?id=MxZFuahqzsMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be brilliant, tell them fairy tales. If you want them to be very brilliant, tell them even more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Chocolate for a Woman's Heart &amp; Soul'' by Kay Allenbaugh (1998), [http://books.google.com/books?id=grrpJh7-CfcC&amp;q=brilliant#search_anchor p. 57]. This version can be found in [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] posts from before 1998, like [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.music.beatles/msg/cec9a9fdf803b72b?hl=en this one from 1995].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be very intelligent, read them more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Mad, Bad and Dangerous?: The Scientist and the Cinema'' by Christopher Frayling (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=HjRYA3ELdG0C&amp;lpg=PA6&amp;dq=einstein%20%22want%20your%20children%20to%20be%20intelligent%22&amp;pg=PA6#v=onepage&amp;q=einstein%20%22want%20your%20children%20to%20be%20intelligent%22&amp;f=false p. 6].
** Variant: &quot;If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.&quot; Found in ''Super joy English, Volume 8'' by 佳音事業機構 (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=-HUBKzP8zsUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 87]

* The really valuable thing is intuition.
**Although similar to many of Einstein's comments about the importance of intuition and imagination, no sources for this can be found prior to ''The Psychology of Consciousness'' by Robert Evan Ornstein (1973), [http://books.google.com/books?id=0Yh9AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22really+valuable+thing+is+intuition%22#search_anchor p. 68], where there is no mention of where the quote was originally made. A number of early sources from the 1980s and 1990s attribute it to ''The Intuitive Edge'' by Philip Goldberg (1983), which also provides no original source.

* Two things are infinite: the universe and the human stupidity.
** As discussed in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/universe-einstein/#more-173 this entry from The Quote Investigator], the earliest published attribution of a similar quote to Einstein seems to have been in Gestalt therapist [[w:Fritz Perls|Frederick S. Perls]]' 1969 book ''Gestalt Theory Verbatim'', where he wrote on p. 33: &quot;As Albert Einstein once said to me: 'Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.' But what is much more widespread than the actual stupidity is the playing stupid, turning off your ear, not listening, not seeing.&quot; Perls also offered another variant in his 1972 book ''In and Out the Garbage Pail'', where he mentioned a meeting with Einstein and on [http://books.google.com/books?id=HuxFAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=human+stupidity#search_anchor p. 52] quoted him saying: &quot;Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.&quot; However, Perls had given yet another variant of this quote in an earlier book, ''Ego, Hunger, and Aggression: a Revision of Freud's Theory and Method'' (originally published 1942, although the Quote Investigator only checked that the quote appeared in the 1947 edition), where he attributed it not to Einstein but to a &quot;great astronomer&quot;, writing: &quot;As modern times promote hasty eating to a large extent, it is not surprising to learn that a great astronomer said: 'Two things are infinite, as far as we know – the universe and human stupidity.' To-day we know that this statement is not quite correct. Einstein has proved that the universe is limited.&quot; So, the later attributions in 1969 and 1972 may have been a case of faulty memory, or of intentionally trying to increase the authority of the quote by attributing it to Einstein. The quote itself may be a variant of a similar quote attributed even earlier to the philosopher [[w:Ernest Renan|Ernest Renan]], found for example in ''The Public: Volume 18'' from 1915, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cTPmAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA1126#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1126]: &quot;He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity.&quot; (Other examples of similar attributions to Renan can be found on [http://www.google.com/search?q=renan+infinity+stupidity&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this Google Books search].) Renan was French so this is presumably intended as a translation, but different sources give different versions of the supposed original French quote, such as &quot;''La bêtise humaine est la seule chose qui donne une idée de l'infini''&quot; (found for example in ''Réflexions sur la vie, 1895-1898'' by Remy de Gourmont from 1903, [http://books.google.com/books?id=RtrtAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA103#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 103], along with several other early sources as seen in [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22humaine+est+la+seule+chose+qui%22+renan&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this search]) and &quot;''Ce n'est pas l'immensité de la voûte étoilée qui peut donner le plus complétement l'idée de l'infini, mais bien la bêtise humaine!''&quot; (found in ''Broad views, Volume 2'' from 1904, [http://books.google.com/books?id=9NEaAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA465#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 465]). Since these variants have not been found in Renan's own writings, they may represent false attributions as well. They may also be variants of an even older saying; for example, the 1880 book ''Des vers'' by [[Guy de Maupassant]] includes on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 9] a quote from a letter (dated February 19, 1880) by [[Gustave Flaubert]] where Flaubert writes &quot;''Cependant, qui sait? La terre a des limites, mais la bêtise humaine est infinie!''&quot; which translates to &quot;But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!&quot; Similarly the 1887 book ''Melanges'' by [[w:Jules-Paul Tardivel|Jules-Paul Tardivel]] includes on [http://books.google.com/books?id=n9cOAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA273#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 273] a piece said to have been written in 1880 in which he writes &quot;''Aujourd'hui je sais qu'il n'y a pas de limites à la bêtise humaine, qu'elle est infinie''&quot; which translates to &quot;today I know that there is no limit to human stupidity, it is infinite.&quot;
**Variant: &quot;Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.&quot; Earliest version located is in ''Technocracy digest: Issues 287–314'' from 1988, [http://books.google.com/books?id=L7LnAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22sure+about+the+former%22#search_anchor p. 76]. Translated to German as: &quot;''Zwei Dinge sind unendlich: das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit. Aber beim Universum bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher.''&quot; (Earliest version located - &quot;Zwei Dinge sind unendlich, das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit . . . Und beim Universum bin ich mir noch keineswegs sicher&quot; - in Hans Askenasy: ''Sind wir alle Nazis? Zum Potential der Unmenschlichkeit'', Campus Verlag Frankfurt/Main 1979, [https://books.google.de/books?id=eIowAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22albert%20einstein%22 p. 153 books.google].)

* Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. 
** The source generally (but falsely) cited is Einstein's [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_as_I_See_It_(book) ''The World As I See It''] (1949). The quotation is probably a translation of &quot;''Der Zufall ist das Pseudonym, das der liebe Gott wählt, wenn er inkognito bleiben will''&quot; (attributed to [[Albert Schweitzer]]). 

* We cannot solve the problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
** &quot;Einstein's famous saying in Copenhagen&quot;, as quoted in a ''[[w:Foreign Broadcast Information Service|FBIS]]'' [https://books.google.de/books?id=DfQTAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22We+cannot+solve%22 ''Daily Report'']: East Europe (4 April 1995), p. 45

*  If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies
** Attributed to Einstein in ''Treasury of the Christian Faith'' (1949) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ll4wAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein p. 415 books.google], and subsequently repeated in other books.  No original source where Einstein supposedly said this has been located, and it is absent from authoritative sources such as Calaprice, ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein''.

* If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.
** Variant: If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.
** There is no indication that Einstein said this. According to Quote Investigator, the earliest publication of a quote similar was in a collection of articles about manufacturing in 1966, when an employee of the Stainless Processing Company wrote a piece titled &quot;The Manufacturing Manager's Skills.&quot; The article attributed the quote to an unnamed professor at Yale, by saying, &quot;If I had only one hour to solve a problem, I would spend up to two-thirds of that hour in attempting to define what the problem is.&quot;  (See, 1966, The Manufacturing Man and His Job by Robert E. Finley and Henry R. Ziobro, &quot;The Manufacturing Manager's Skills&quot; by William H. Markle (Vice President, Stainless Processing Company, Chicago, Illinois), Start Page 15, Quote Page 18, Published by American Management Association, Inc., New York. Verified on paper). https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/05/22/solve/
{{Disputed end}}

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==
*I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.
**''Variants'': 
***I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots. 
***I fear the day when technology overlaps our humanity. It will be then that the world will have permanent ensuing generations of idiots.
**1995 film ''{{w|Powder (film)|Powder}}'' includes a similar quotation attributed to Einstein: 
***It's become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.
**Although it is a popular quote on the internet, there is no substantial evidence that Einstein actually said that. It does not appear in &quot;The Ultimate Quotable Einstein&quot; from Princeton University Press nor in any reliable source. &quot;[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/03/19/tech-surpass/ Quote Investigator]&quot; concluded that it probably emerged as a {{w|meme (Internet)|meme}} on the internet as late as 2012.

* Contempt prior to investigation is what enslaves a mind to Ignorance.
** This or similar statements are more often misattributed to [[Herbert Spencer]], but the source of the phrase &quot;contempt prior to investigation&quot; seems to have been [[William Paley]], ''A View of the Evidences of Christianity'' (1794): &quot;The infidelity of the Gentile world, and that more especially of men of rank and learning in it, is resolved into a principle which, in my judgment, will account for the inefficacy of any argument, or any evidence whatever, ''viz''. contempt prior to examination.&quot;

*&lt;p&gt;Being a lover of freedom, when the revolution came in Germany, I looked to the universities to defend it, knowing that they had always boasted of their devotion to the cause of truth; but, no, the universities immediately were silenced. Then I looked to the great editors of the newspapers whose flaming editorials in days gone by had proclaimed their love of freedom; but they, like the universities, were silenced in a few short weeks. Then I looked to individual writers who, as literary guides of Germany, had written much and often concerning the place of freedom in modern life; but they, too, were mute.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Only the church stood squarely across the path of Hitler's campaign for suppressing truth. I never had any special interest in the church before, but now I feel a great affection and admiration because the church alone has had the courage and persistence to stand for intellectual truth and moral freedom. I am forced thus to confess that what I once despised I now praise unreservedly.&lt;/p&gt;
**Attributed in &quot;The Conflict Between Church And State In The Third Reich&quot;, by [[w:S. Parkes Cadman|S. Parkes Cadman]], ''La Crosse Tribune and Leader-Press'' (28 October 1934), viewable online on p. 9 of the issue [http://newspaperarchive.com/us/wisconsin/la-crosse/la-crosse-tribune-and-leader-press/1934/10-28/ here] (double-click the page to zoom). The quote is preceded by &quot;In this connection it is worth quoting ''in free translation'' a statement made by Professor Einstein last year to one of my colleagues who has been prominently identified with the Protestant church in its contacts with Germany.&quot; [Emphasis added.] '''While based on something that Einstein said, Einstein himself stated that the quote was not an accurate record of his words or opinion.''' After the quote appeared in ''Time'' magazine (23 December 1940), [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,765103,00.html p. 38], a minister in Harbor Springs, Michigan wrote to Einstein to check if the quote was real. Einstein wrote back &quot;'''It is true that I made a statement which corresponds approximately with the text you quoted. I made this statement during the first years of the Nazi-Regime — much earlier than 1940 — and my expressions were a little more moderate.'''&quot; (March 1943) [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/200706A19.html]
**In a later letter to Rev. Cornelius Greenway of Brooklyn, who asked if Einstein would write out the statement in his own hand, Einstein was more vehement in his repudiation of the statement (14 November 1950) [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;pg=PA94]: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The wording of the statement you have quoted is not my own.''' Shortly after Hitler came to power in Germany I had an oral conversation with a newspaper man about these matters. '''Since then my remarks have been elaborated and exaggerated nearly beyond recognition. I cannot in good conscience write down the statement you sent me as my own.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; The matter is all the more embarrassing to me because I, like yourself, I am predominantly critical concerning the activities, and especially the political activities, through history of the official clergy. '''Thus, my former statement, even if reduced to my actual words (which I do not remember in detail) gives a wrong impression of my general attitude.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:: In his original statement Einstein was probably referring to the actions of the [[w:Pfarrernotbund|Emergency Covenant of Pastors]] organized by [[Martin Niemöller]], and the [[w:Confessing Church|Confessing Church]] which he and other prominent churchmen such as [[Karl Barth]] and [[Dietrich Bonhoeffer]] established in opposition to Nazi policies.
:: Einstein also made some scathingly negative comments about the behavior of the Church under the Nazi regime (and its behavior towards Jews throughout history) in a 1943 conversation with William Hermanns recorded in Hermanns' book ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983). On [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA63#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 63] Hermanns records him saying &quot;Never in history has violence been so widespread as in Nazi Germany. The concentration camps make the actions of Genghis Khan look like child's play. But what makes me shudder is that the Church is silent. One doesn't need to be a prophet to say, 'The Catholic Church will pay for this silence.' Dr. Hermanns, you will live to see that there is moral law in the universe. . . .There are cosmic laws, Dr. Hermanns. They cannot be bribed by prayers or incense. What an insult to the principles of creation. But remember, that for God a thousand years is a day. This power maneuver of the Church, these Concordats through the centuries with worldly powers . . . the Church has to pay for it. We live now in a scientific age and in a psychological age. You are a sociologist, aren't you? You know what the ''Herdenmenschen'' (men of herd mentality) can do when they are organized and have a leader, especially if he is a spokesmen for the Church. I do not say that the unspeakable crimes of the Church for 2000 years had always the blessings of the Vatican, but it vaccinated its believers with the idea: We have the true God, and the Jews have crucified Him. The Church sowed hate instead of love, though the Ten Commandments state: Thou shalt not kill.&quot; And then on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA64#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 64]: &quot;I'm not a Communist but I can well understand why they destroyed the Church in Russia. All the wrongs come home, as the proverb says. The Church will pay for its dealings with Hitler, and Germany, too.&quot; And on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA65#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 65]: &quot;I don't like to implant in youth the Church's doctrine of a personal God, because that Church has behaved so inhumanely in the past 2000 years. The fear of punishment makes the people march. Consider the hate the Church manifested against the Jews and then against the Muslims, the Crusades with their crimes, the burning stakes of the Inquisition, the tacit consent of Hitler's actions while the Jews and the Poles dug their own graves and were slaughtered. And Hitler is said to have been an altar boy! The truly religious man has no fear of life and no fear of death—and certainly no blind faith; his faith must be in his conscience. . . . I am therefore against all organized religion. Too often in history, men have followed the cry of battle rather than the cry of truth.&quot; When Hermanns asked him &quot;Isn't it only human to move along the line of least resistance?&quot;, Einstein responded &quot;Yes. It is indeed human, as proved by Cardinal Pacelli, who was behind the Concordat with Hitler. Since when can one make a pact with Christ and Satan at the same time? And he is now the Pope! The moment I hear the word 'religion', my hair stands on end. The Church has always sold itself to those in power, and agreed to any bargain in return for immunity. It would have been fine if the spirit of religion had guided the Church; instead, the Church determined the spirit of religion. Churchmen through the ages have fought political and institutional corruption very little, so long as their own sanctity and church property were preserved.&quot;

* Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and the spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
** Variant: The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.
** These two statements are very similar, widely quoted, and seem to paraphrase some ideas in the essay &quot;[[Albert_Einstein#Religion_and_Science_.281930.29|Religion and Science]]&quot; (see below), but neither of the two specific quotes above been properly sourced. Notable Einstein scholars such as John Stachel and Thomas J. McFarlane (author of ''Buddha and Einstein: The Parallel Sayings'') know of this statement but have not found any source for it. Any information on any definite original sources for these is welcome.
** This quote does not actually appear in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' as is sometimes claimed.
** Only two sources from before 1970 can be found on Google Books. The first is ''The Theosophist: Volume 86'' which seems to cover the years [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=1964#search_anchor 1964] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=1965#search_anchor 1965]. The quote appears attributed to Einstein on [http://books.google.com/books?id=7pLjAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22natural+and+spiritual%22#search_anchor p. 255], with the wording given as &quot;The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description.&quot; An identical quote appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=YpsfAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22dogmas+and+theology%22#search_anchor p. 284] of ''The Maha Bodhi: Volume 72'' published by the Maha Bodhi Society of India, which seems to contain issues from [http://books.google.com/books?id=YpsfAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22volume+72%22#search_anchor throughout 1964].
** A number of phrases in the quote are similar to phrases in Einstein's &quot;Religion and Science&quot;. Comparing the version of the quote in ''The Theosophist'' to the version of &quot;Religion and Science&quot; published in 1930, &quot;a cosmic religion&quot; in the first resembles &quot;the cosmic religious sense&quot; in the second; &quot;transcend a personal God&quot; resembles &quot;does not involve an anthropomorphic idea of God&quot;; &quot;covering both the natural and the spiritual&quot; resembles &quot;revealed in nature and in the world of thought&quot;; &quot;the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity&quot; resembles &quot;experience the totality of existence as a unity full of significance&quot;; and &quot;Buddhism answers this description&quot; resembles &quot;The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism&quot;. These phrases appear in the same order in both cases, and the ones from &quot;Religion and Science&quot; are all from a single paragraph of the essay.

* Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
** Attributed in emails in 1999, as debunked at [http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp#MX2FyfdMLHissI4T.99 &quot;Malice of Absence&quot; at Snopes.com]
** Variant: Evil is the absence of God.
*** This statement has been attributed to others before Einstein; its first attribution to Einstein appears to have been in an email story that began circulating in 2004. See the ''[http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp Urban Legends Reference Pages]'' for more discussion.

* If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
** Earliest attribution located is ''The Yogi and the Commissar'' by [[Arthur Koestler]] (1945), [http://books.google.com/books?id=tys4AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22you+are+out+to+describe+the+truth%22#search_anchor p. v]. Koestler prefaces it with &quot;My comfort is what Einstein said when somebody reproached him with the suggestion that his formula of gravitation was longer and more cumbersome than Newton's formula in its elegant simplicity&quot;. This is actually a variant of a quote Einstein attributed to [[Ludwig Boltzmann]]; in the Preface to his ''Relativity—The Special and General Theory'' (1916), Einstein wrote: &quot;I adhered scrupulously to the precept of that brilliant theoretical physicist L. Boltzmann, according to whom matters of elegance ought to be left to the tailor and to the cobbler.&quot; (reprinted in the 2007 book ''A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion: The Essential Scientific Works of Albert Einstein'' edited by Stephen Hawking, [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA128#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 128])

* Two things inspire me to awe: the starry heavens and the moral universe within.
** If Einstein said this, he was almost certainly quoting philosopher [[Immanuel Kant]]'s words from the conclusion to the ''Critique of Practical Reason'' (1788), translated in Paul Guyer's ''The Cambridge Companion to Kant'' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=pYE5rVzrPNgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 1]) as: &quot;Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe, the more often and steadily we reflect upon them: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me.&quot;

* The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
** This is similar to a quote attributed to [[Mark Twain]]: &quot;I never let my schooling get in the way of my education&quot;. The earliest published source located attributing the quote to Einstein is the 1999 book ''Career Management for the Creative Person'' by Lee T. Silber, [http://books.google.com/books?id=eNjhnHmerfwC&amp;q=%22interferes+with+my+learning%22#search_anchor p. 130], while the earliest published source located for the Mark Twain quote is the 1996 book ''Children at Risk'' by C. Niall McElwee, [http://books.google.com/books?id=p_FEAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22never+let+schooling+get+in+the+way+of+my+education%22+%22mark+twain%22#search_anchor p. 45]. Both quotes appeared on the internet before that: the earliest post located that attributes the quote to Einstein is [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.travel.air/msg/b1feb7ca5019ab2e this one from 11 February 1994], while the earliest located that attributes the variant to Mark Twain is [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.m68k/msg/9c2f7cdecb11eccb this one from 28 March 1988]

* The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
** This quote does appear in Einstein's 1940 essay &quot;The Fundaments of Physics&quot; which can be found in his book ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950), but Einstein does not claim credit for it, instead calling it &quot;[[Gotthold Ephraim Lessing|Lessing]]'s fine saying&quot;.

* Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.
** Earliest source located that attributes this to Einstein is the 1975 book ''The Nature of Scientific Discovery: A Symposium Commemorating the 500th Anniversary of the Birth of Nicolaus Copernicus'' edited by Owen Gingerich, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ub3gAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22certainly+a+central%22#search_anchor p. 585]. But long before that, the 1944 book ''Einstein: An Intimate Study of a Great Man'' by Dimitri Marianoff and Palma Wayne contains the following quote on p. 62: &quot;But Einstein came along and took space and time out of the realm of stationary things and put them in the realm of relativity—giving the onlooker dominion over time and space, because time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.&quot; It appears from the quote that the authors were giving their own description of Einstein's ideas, not quoting him.

* &lt;div name=&quot;explain-simply&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
** variant: If you can't explain something to a six-year-old, you really don't understand it yourself.
** variant: If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
** Frequently attributed to [[Richard Feynman]]
** Probably based on a similar quote about explaining physics to a &quot;barmaid&quot; by [[Ernest Rutherford]]
** Page 418 of ''Einstein: His Life and Times'' (1972) by Ronald W. Clark says that [[Louis de Broglie]] did attribute a similar statement to Einstein:
**: To de Broglie, Einstein revealed an instinctive reason for his inability to accept the purely [[w:Interpretations of quantum mechanics#Ensemble interpretation, or statistical interpretation|statistical interpretation]] of wave mechanics. It was a reason which linked him with Rutherford, who used to state that &quot;it should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.&quot; Einstein, having a final discussion with de Broglie on the platform of the Gare du Nord in Paris, whence they had traveled from Brussels to attend the Fresnel centenary celebrations, said &quot;that all physical theories, their mathematical expressions apart ought to lend themselves to so simple a description 'that even a child could understand them.' &quot;
** The de Broglie quote is from his 1962 book ''New Perspectives in Physics'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=xY45AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22mathematical+expression+apart%22#search_anchor p. 184].
** Cf. this quote from [[David Hilbert]]'s talk ''Mathematical Problems'' given in 1900 before the International Congress of Mathematicians:
**: &quot;A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street.&quot;
** Cf. this quote from [[Kurt Vonnegut]]'s novel ''[[Cat's Cradle]]'':
:: Dr. Hoenikker used to say that any scientist who couldn't explain to an eight-year-old what he was doing was a charlatan.

* You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
** Earliest published version found on Google Books with this phrasing is in the 1993 book ''The Internet Companion: A Beginner's Guide to Global Networking'' by Tracy L. LaQuey and Jeanne C. Ryer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=sP5SAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=meowing#search_anchor p. 25]. However, the quote seems to have been circulating on the internet earlier than this, appearing for example in [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.c/msg/cc89abb5e065d23f?hl=en this post from 1987] and [http://groups.google.com/group/net.sources.games/browse_thread/thread/846af15b5a38c35/3d6d5a639c24bba3 this one from 1985]. No reference has been found that cites a source in Einstein's original writings, and the quote appears to be a variation of an old joke that dates at least as far back as 1866, as discussed in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/02/24/telegraph-cat/#more-3387 this entry from the &quot;Quote Investigator&quot; blog]. A variant was told by [[Thomas Edison]], appearing in ''The Diary and Sundry Observations of Thomas Alva Edison'' (1948), [http://books.google.com/books?id=NXtEAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=edinburgh#search_anchor p. 216]: &quot;When I was a little boy, persistently trying to find out how the telegraph worked and why, the best explanation I ever got was from an old Scotch line repairer who said that if you had a dog like a dachshund long enough to reach from Edinburgh to London, if you pulled his tail in Edinburgh he would bark in London. I could understand that. But it was hard to get at what it was that went through the dog or over the wire.&quot; A variant of Edison's comment can be found in the 1910 book ''Edison, His Life and Inventions, Volume 1'' by Frank Lewis Dyer and Thomas Commerford Martin, [http://books.google.com/books?id=qN83AAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA53#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 53].
** The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.
***Variant, earliest known published version is ''How to Think Like Einstein'' by Scott Thorpe (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=9yrYQxBgIYEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 61]. Appeared on the internet before that, as in [http://web.archive.org/web/19991012152820/http://stripe.colorado.edu/%7Ejudy/einstein/advice.html this archived page from 12 October 1999]

*The mind that opens to a new idea, Never comes back to its original size.
**Actually said by [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]] in his book ''The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table'': &quot;Every now and then a man's mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions.&quot;

* ''Die Astrologie ist eine Wissenschaft für sich. Aber eine wegweisende. Ich habe viel aus ihr gelernt und vielen Nutzen aus ihr ziehen können. Die physikalischen Erkenntnisse unterstreichen die Macht der Sterne über irdisches Geschick. Die Astrologie aber unterstreicht in gewissem Sinne wiederum die physikalischen Erkenntnisse. Deshalb ist sie eine Art Lebens-elixier für die Gesellschaft!''
** ''English:'' Astrology is a science in itself and contains an illuminating body of knowledge. It taught me many things, and I am greatly indebted to it. Geophysical evidence reveals the power of the stars and the planets in relation to the terrestrial. In turn, astrology reinforces this power to some extent. This is why astrology is like a life-giving elixir to mankind.
*** German quote attributed to Einstein in ''Huters astrologischer Kalender 1960'' [A]
*** Translated by Tad Mann, unidentified 1987 work
*** Contradicted by Denis Hamel, ''The End of the Einstein-Astrology-Supporter Hoax'', ''Skeptical Inquirer'', Vol. 31, No. 6 (Nov-Dec 2007), pp. 39-43
*** Alice Calaprice, ''The Expanded Quotable Einstein'': &quot;Attributed to Einstein ''[...]'' An excellent example of a quotation someone made up and attributed to Einstein in order to lend an idea credibility.&quot;

* A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot.
** A variation on a quotation of [[Alexander Pope]], attributed to Einstein in various recent sources, such as [[Marvin Minsky]]'s ''The Emotion Machine'' (2006), [http://books.google.com/books?id=OqbMnWDKIJ4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA176#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 176], and at the start of the 2006 pilot episode of the television series [[Eureka (TV series)|Eureka]]. The oldest published source located attributing this to Einstein is the 2004 book ''Strategic Investment: Real Options and Games'' by Han T. J. Smit and Lenos Trigeorgis, [http://books.google.com/books?id=pN41ZtNoqBEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA429#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 429], and before that it was attributed to him on the internet, the earliest example found being [http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.physhare/msg/ef186aec3bf66ba6 this post from 19 May 1995]. But long before that, the same quote appears in an advertisement for Encyclopaedia Britannica that ran in ''The Atlantic Monthly: Volume 216'' from 1965, [http://books.google.com/books?id=TuMmAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22so+is+a+lot%22#search_anchor p. 139]. The ad mentioned Einstein but did not directly attribute the quote to him: &quot;Encyclopaedia Britannica says: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot. The more you know, the more you need to know — as Albert Einstein, for one, might have told you. Great knowledge has a way of bringing with it great responsibility. The people who put the Encyclopaedia Britannica together feel the same way. After all, if most of the world had come to count on you as the best single source of complete, accurate, up-to-date information on everything, you'd want to be pretty sure you knew what you were talking about.&quot;

*Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
** Actually written by [[E. F. Schumacher]] in a 1973 essay titled &quot;Small is Beautiful&quot; which appeared in ''The Radical Humanist: volume 37'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 22]. Earliest published source found on Google Books attributing this to Einstein is ''BMJ: The British Medical Journal'', volume 319, 23 October 1999, [http://books.google.com/books?id=bQk7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 1102]. It was attributed to Einstein on the internet somewhat before that, for example in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.weemba/msg/2bbf56ab8f4f757d?hl=en this 1997 post].

* {{anchor|IncrediblyFast}}Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.
** The earliest published source located on Google Books attributing this to Einstein is the 2000 book ''The Internet Handbook for Writers, Researchers, and Journalists'' by Mary McGuire, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Sb-v0K2EkNAC&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor p. 14]. It was attributed to him on the internet before that, as in [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.graphics.apps.lightwave/msg/d13c55cc4cca4867?hl=en this post from 1997]. Variants of the quote can be found well before this however, as in the 1989 book ''Urban Surface Water Management'' by S. G. Walesh, which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=-LcZUPtDykQC&amp;q=%22beyond+imagination%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22beyond%20imagination%22&amp;f=false p. 315] contains the statement (said to have been 'stated anonymously'): &quot;The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. Man is unbelievably slow, inaccurate, and brilliant. The marriage of the two is a challenge and opportunity beyond imagination.&quot; Even earlier, the article [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22and+direct+digital+control%22#search_anchor &quot;A Paper Industry Application of Systems Engineering and Direct Digital Control&quot;] by H. D. Couture, Jr. and M. A. Keyes, which appears in the 1969 ''Advances in Instrumentation: Vol. 24, Part 4'', has a statement on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Computers+are+incredibly+fast%2C+accurate+and+stupid%22#search_anchor this page] which uses phrasing similar to the supposed Einstein quote in describing computers and people: &quot;Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid. On the other hand, a well trained operator as compared with a computer is incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant.&quot; Variants with slightly different wording can be found earlier than 1969, as in [http://journals.lww.com/joem/Citation/1968/04000/Fast,_Accurate_and_Stupid.10.aspx this April 1968 article]. The earliest source located, and most likely the origin of this saying, is an article titled &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; by John Pfeiffer, which appeared in the October 1961 issue of ''Fortune'' magazine. As quoted [http://books.google.com/books?id=TwwQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Man+is+a+slow%2C+sloppy%2C+and+brilliant+thinker%3B+computers+are+fast%2C+accurate%2C+and+stupid%22#search_anchor here], Pfeiffer's article contained the line &quot;Man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; computers are fast, accurate, and stupid.&quot;

* Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
** Einstein did write this quote in &quot;On Education&quot; from 1936, which appeared in ''Out of My Later Years'', but it was not his own original quip, he attributed it to an unnamed &quot;wit&quot;.
** Very popular in French: &quot;''La culture est ce qui reste lorsque l'on a tout oublié''&quot; (Culture is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything). Attributed in French to [[w:Édouard Herriot|Édouard Herriot]] (1872-1957) and, in English, sometimes to [[w:Ortega y Gasset|Ortega y Gasset]]. Another French variant is &quot;la culture est ce qui reste lorsqu'on a oublié toutes les choses apprises&quot; (Culture is that which remains if one has forgotten everything one has learned), which appears in the 1912 book ''Propos Critiques'' by [[w:Georges Duhamel|Georges Duhamel]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=Xpk_AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22la+culture+est+ce+qui+reste+lorsqu%27on+a+oubli%C3%A9+toutes+les+choses+apprises%22#search_anchor p. 14]. And another English variant is &quot;Culture is that which remains with a man when he has forgotten all he has learned&quot; which appears in ''The Living Age: Volume 335'' from 1929, [http://books.google.com/books?id=tHFRAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22Culture+is+that+which+remains+with+a+man+when+he+has+forgotten+all+he+has+learned%22#search_anchor p. 159], where it is attributed to &quot;Edouard Herriot, French Minister of Education&quot;. Another English variant is &quot;Education is that which remains behind when all we have learned at school is forgotten&quot;, which appears in ''The Education Outlook, vol. 60'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=dNcgAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=RA1-PA532#v=onepage&amp;q=%22education%20is%20that%20which%20remains%22&amp;f=false p. 532] (from an issue dated 2 December 1907), where it is attributed to [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]].
** The saying is found in an 1891 article by Swedish writer [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellen_Key Ellen Key], &quot;Själamorden i skolorna&quot;, which was published in the journal &quot;Verdandi&quot;, no. 2, pages 86-98 (the saying is on p. 97). The same article was republished later as a chapter in her 1900 book &quot;Barnets Århundrade&quot;. Here is the quote in Swedish ([https://archive.org/stream/barnetsrhundrade02ellenkey#page/n167/mode/2up p. 160]): Men bildning är lyckligtvis icke blott kunskap om fakta, utan enligt en ypperlig paradox: »det, som är kvar, sedan vi glömt allt, vad vi lärt». Here it is from the 1909 English translation of the book ([https://archive.org/stream/centurychild00frangoog#page/n246/mode/2up p. 231]): &quot;But education happily is not simply the knowledge of facts, it is, as an admirable paradox has put it, what is left over after we have forgotten all we have learnt.&quot; From the way Ellen Key puts it, she doesn't take credit for the saying, but rather refers to it as an already known &quot;paradox&quot; that she explicitly puts between quotation marks.

* If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live. No more bees, no more pollination ... no more men!
** A variant — &quot;Professor Einstein, the learned scientist, once calculated that if all bees disappeared off the earth, four years later all humans would also have disappeared&quot; — appears in ''The Irish Beekeeper'', v.19-20, 1965-66, p74, citing ''Abeilles et Fleurs'' (''Bees and Flowers'', the house magazine of Union Nationale de l'Apiculture Française) for June 1965. Snopes.com mentions its use in a beekeepers' protest in 1994 in Europe [http://www.snopes.com/quotes/einstein/bees.asp] suggesting invention and attribution to Einstein for political reasons.

* The most important decision we can make is whether this is a friendly or hostile universe. From that one decision all others spring.
** Multiple variations of this quote can be found, but the earliest one on Google Books which uses the phrase &quot;friendly or hostile&quot; and attributes it to Einstein is ''The Complete Idiot's Guide to Spiritual Healing'' by Susan Gregg (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=XLQ8X67PozAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA5#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 5], and this book gives no source for the quote.
**A variant is found in Irving Oyle's ''The New American Medicine Show'' (1979) on p. 163, where Oyle writes: 'There is a story about Albert Einstein's view of human existence. Asked to pose the most vital question facing humanity, he replied, &quot;Is the universe friendly?&quot;' This variant is repeated in a number of books from the 1980s and 90s, so it probably pre-dates the &quot;friendly or hostile&quot; version. And the idea that the most important question we can ask is &quot;Is the universe friendly?&quot; dates back much earlier than the attribution to Einstein, for example in Emil Carl Wilm's 1912 book ''The Problem of Religion'' he includes the following footnote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=nWYiAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA114#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 114]: 'A friend proposed to the late [[Frederic William Henry Myers|F. W. H. Myers]] the following question: &quot;What is the thing which above all others you would like to know? If you could ask the Sphinx one question, and only one, what would the question be?&quot; After a moment's silence Myers replied: &quot;I think it would be this: Is the universe friendly?&quot;'

* The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
** Variously attributed also to [[Benjamin Franklin]] and [[Mark Twain]]. The earliest known occurrence, and probable origin, is from a 1981 text from [[Narcotics Anonymous]]: &quot;Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.&quot; Cf. [[Rita Mae Brown#Misattributed]].

* Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
** It seems that this quote has only begun to be attributed to Einstein recently, the earliest published source located being the 2008 book ''Visualization for Dummies'' by Bernard Golden, [http://books.google.com/books?id=2ppZkdmpSlgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA85#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 85]. Before that it was often attributed to the physicist [[John Archibald Wheeler|John Wheeler]], who quoted the saying in ''Complexity, Entropy, and the Physics of Information'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=mdjsOeTgatsC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA10#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 10]. In fact, this quip is much older; the earliest source located is [[w:Ray Cummings|Ray Cummings]]' 1921 short story &quot;The Time Professor&quot;, which [https://books.google.com/books?id=sXpDAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA371#v=onepage&amp;q=%22time%20is%20what%20keeps%20everything%20from%20happening%20at%20once%22&amp;f=false includes the passage]:  '&quot;I ''do'' know what time is,&quot; Tubby declared.  He paused.  &quot;Time,&quot; he added slowly -- &quot;time is what keeps everything from happening at once ...&quot;.'  Cummings repeated the quote in his 1922 science fiction novel ''The Girl in the Golden Atom'', available on Project Gutenberg [http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/21094 here] (according to ''Science-Fiction: The Early Years'' by Everett F. Bleiler, [http://books.google.com/books?id=KEZxhkG5eikC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA171#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 171], the novel was a composite of two earlier stories published in 1919 and 1920). [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/21094/21094-h/21094-h.htm#CHAPTER_V Chapter V] contains the following paragraph: ''The Big Business Man smiled. &quot;Time,&quot; he said, &quot;is what keeps everything from happening at once.&quot;'' The next-earliest source found for this quote is another book by Ray Cummings, [http://books.google.com/books?id=YdZEAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22everything+from+happening+at+once%22#search_anchor ''The Man Who Mastered Time''] from 1929, and no published examples of the quote from authors other than Cummings can be found until the 1962 ''Film Facts: Volume 5'' where it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=sr0vAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22everything+from+happening+at+once%22#search_anchor p. 48]. So, it seems likely that Ray Cummings is the real originator of this saying.

* Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
** From William Bruce Cameron's ''Informal Sociology: A Casual Introduction to Sociological Thinking'' (1963), p. 13. The comment is part of a longer paragraph and does not appear in quotations in Cameron's book, and [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;q=%22not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22%20cameron&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;tbo=u&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;source=og&amp;sa=N&amp;tab=wp other sources] such as [http://books.google.com/books?id=KMsB1GE8dBEC&amp;lpg=PA92&amp;dq=%22Not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22&amp;pg=PA92#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Not%20everything%20that%20can%20be%20counted%20counts%22&amp;f=false The Student's Companion to Sociology (p. 92)] attribute the quote to Cameron. A [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;tbo=p&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;q=%22not+everything+that+can+be+counted%22+einstein+princeton&amp;start=0&amp;sa=N number of recent books] claim that Einstein had a sign with these words in his office in Princeton, but until a reliable historical source can be found to support this, skepticism is warranted. The earliest source on Google Books that mentions the quote in association with Einstein and Princeton is Charles A. Garfield's 1986 book ''Peak Performers: The New Heroes of American Business,'' in which he wrote on p. 156:
**: Albert Einstein liked to underscore the micro/macro partnership with a remark from Sir George Pickering that he chalked on the blackboard in his office at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton: &quot;Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.&quot;

* If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.
** According to ''The Quote Verifier'' (2006) by Ralph Keyes, Einstein never said any such thing. (According to p. 285 of the book's &quot;source notes&quot; Keyes checked ''New Statesman'' 16 April 1965, which is commonly cited as the source of this quote. Some other books claim it is from ''New Statesman'' 16 April 1955 and at least one has it as 1945, but a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?num=10&amp;q=einstein+watchmaker+%22new+statesman%22 Google Books search] with the date range restricted to 1900-1995 shows that all the earliest sources give it as 1965. This includes the earliest source located, ''The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Quotations'' from 1971, as can be verified by [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22of+his+making+the+atom+bomb+possible.+quoted+in+new+statesman%2C+16+april+1965%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 this search].) Keyes notes that Einstein &quot;did use similar words to make a very different point&quot; when he wrote, in a 1954 letter to the editor at ''The Reporter'' magazine, &quot;If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.&quot;
** Similarly, in ''Einstein and the Poet'' by William Hermanns, [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA86#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 86], Einstein is quoted saying the following in a 1948 interview: &quot;If I should be born again, I will become a cobbler and do my thinking in peace.&quot;

* If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
** The earliest published attribution of this quote to Einstein found on Google Books is the 1991 book ''The Art of Computer Systems Performance Analysis'' by Raj Jain (p. 507), but no source to Einstein's original writings is given and the quote itself is older; for example ''New Guard: Volume 5, Issue 3'' from 1961 says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=5BbZAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22fit+the+theory%22#search_anchor p. 312] &quot;Someone once said that if the facts do not fit the theory, then the facts must be changed&quot;, while ''Product engineering: Volume 29, Issues 9-12'' from 1958 gives the slight variant on p. 9 &quot;There is an age-old adage, 'If the facts don't fit the theory, change the theory.' But too often it's easier to keep the theory and change the facts.&quot; These quotes are themselves probably variants of an even earlier saying which used the phrasing &quot;so much the worse for the facts&quot;, many examples of which can be seen in [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=facts+fit+%22so+much+the+worse+for+the+facts%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201950&amp;num=10 this search]; for example, the 1851 ''American Whig Review, Volumes 13-14'' says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=910CAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA488#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 488] &quot;However, Mr. Newhall may possibly have been of that casuist's opinion, who, when told that the facts of the matter did not bear out his hypothesis, said 'So much the worse for the facts.'&quot; The German idealist philosopher Johann Gottlieb Fichte circa 1800 did say &quot;If theory conflicts with the facts, so much the worse for the facts.&quot; The Hungarian Marxist Georg Lukacs in his &quot;Tactics and Ethics&quot; (1923) echoed the same quotation.

* The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
** Commonly quoted on the internet, and also in recent books such as ''Planetary Survival Manual'' by Matthew Stein (2000), p. 51.
** Stein's book is the earliest published source located with that precise version of the quote, but the quote can be found in earlier [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] posts such as [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.ascii/msg/d9f6ec3887950a0d?hl=en this one from 1995], and other published variants of the quote using the words &quot;sacred gift&quot; can be found earlier. A [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22sacred+gift%22+einstein Google Books search] with the date range restricted to 1900-1990 shows only a handful in the 1980s and 1970s, and several of them attribute it to ''The Metaphoric Mind'' by Bob Samples (1976), which also seems to be the earliest published variant. Samples does not provide an exact quote, but writes on p. 26: &quot;Albert Einstein called the intuitive or metaphoric mind a sacred gift. He added that the rational mind was a faithful servant. It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine.&quot; It seems as if the last sentence about worshipping the servant is just Samples' own comment (though in later variants it became part of the supposed quote), while the earlier sentences only paraphrase something that Samples claims Einstein to have said. Einstein had many quotes about the value of intuition and imagination, but the specific word &quot;gift&quot; can be found in a comment remembered by János Plesch in the section [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications|Attributed in posthumous publications]], &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.&quot; So, Bob Samples might have been paraphrasing that comment. Likewise Einstein had a number of quotes about the intellect being secondary to intuition, but the language of the intellect &quot;serving&quot; can be found in a quote from the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years (1950)]] section, &quot;And certainly we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader.&quot;

* Nuclear power is a hell of a way to boil water.
** Commonly quoted on the internet, this quote is actually from Karl Grossman, via his 1980 book ''Cover Up: What You are Not Supposed to Know About Nuclear Power'' (p. 155; freely available online via its [http://www.thepermanentpress.com/p-354-cover-up.aspx publisher]; see PDF page 187).

* If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
** Variant: If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind then what are we to think of an empty desk?
** Variant: If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
** Attributed to Dr. [[Laurence J. Peter]]. Earliest source is [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL7725710M/Peter's_Quotations &quot;Peter's Quotations,&quot; page 333.]

* Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. 
** According to Barbara Wolff, of The Hebrew University's Albert Einstein Archives, this is not one of Einstein's identifiable quotations. (Source: [http://www.paralegalpie.com/paralegalpie/2009/11/did-anybody-really-say-that.html paralegalpie.com].)
** The phrase &quot;the only source of knowledge is experience&quot; is found in an English-language essay from 1896:  &quot;We can only be guided by what we know, and our only source of knowledge is experience&quot; (Arthur J. Pillsbury, [https://books.google.com/books?id=Mw9IAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA595&amp;dq=%22only+source&quot; &quot;The Final Word&quot;], ''Overland Monthly'', November 1896).  The thought can be seen as a paraphrase of John Locke's argument from his ''Essay Concerning Human Understanding'':  &quot;Whence has it [the Mind] all the materials of Reason and Knowledge?  To this I answer, in one Word, From ''Experience''&quot;. (Locke, [[s:An Essay Concerning Human Understanding/Book II/Chapter I|An Essay Concerning Human Understanding/Book II/Chapter I, 2]].)
** The phrase &quot;information is not knowledge&quot; is also found from the [https://books.google.com/books?id=W2oAAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA59&amp;dq=%22information+is+not+knowledge%22 nineteenth century].

* Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
** As Quote Investigator explains, allegories about animals doing impossible things have been incredibly popular in the past century. But no, this one isn't from Einstein. (Source: [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/04/06/fish-climb/].)

* Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.
** There's no evidence that Einstein ever said this. (Source: [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/16/everything-energy/].)

* International law exists only in textbooks on international law.
** The anthropologist Ashley Montagu said it in an interview with Einstein. (Source: [http://www.cooperativeindividualism.org/montagu-ashley_conversations-with-albert-einstein-1985.html].)

* Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves
** Found [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/31/kiss anonymously in newspaper columns from the early 1920s].  [https://www.newspapers.com/clip/5219841/safety_first/ Originally presented in dialogue format]:  &quot;Dorcas—&quot;Do you ever allow a man to kiss you when you're out motoring with him?   Philippa—&quot;Never, if a man can drive safely while kissing me he's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot;
**  It does not seem to have been attributed to Einstein until the 1990s (e.g. [https://groups.google.com/forum/message/raw?msg=alt.freemasonry/YILn0A-U_WM/f1Grm2akU-4J here]).

* You can recognize a really good idea by the fact that its implementation seems impossible in the first place.
** Google shows that the internet often attributes this statement to Einstein, but never with a source.  It does not occur in any book in Google Books.

* You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
** An abbreviated version of a quote by California politician [[w:Dianne Feinstein|Dianne Feinstein]], from an [https://books.google.com/books?id=zmxNAQAAIAAJ&amp;dq=You+have+to+learn+the+rules+of+the+game+and+then+you+have+to+play+better+than+anyone+else&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22rules+of+the+game%22 interview with ''Cosmopolitan'' magazine in October 1985], on the topic of women running for public office.  The original was: &quot;... I really do have staying power.  That's important for women who run for office.  When you get in there and push for a lot of new things all at once and don't get them, you don't just leave.  You have to commit, be a team player, learn the rules of the game.  And then you have to play it better than anyone else.&quot;

* Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.
** The original: &quot;Example is not the main thing. It is the only thing. That is, if the one giving the example is not saying to himself, 'Behold I am giving an example.&quot; That spoils it. Anyone thinking of the example he will give to others has lost his simplicity.  Only as a man has simplicity can his example influence others&quot; is a quote by Albert ''Schweitzer'', from [https://books.google.com/books?id=qTAoAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22&amp;dq=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjz7f_2v6vMAhUJxmMKHeEAB-QQ6AEIHDAA a 1952 interview in ''United Nations World'' magazine].  Not attributed to Einstein [https://books.google.com/books?id=JdRZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22+einstein&amp;dq=%22example+is+not+the+main+thing%22+einstein&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwif56qcwqvMAhXGMGMKHST5DRIQ6AEIHTAA until the 1990s].

*Anti-Semitism is nothing but the antagonistic attitude produced in the non-Jew by the Jewish group. The Jewish group has thrived on oppression and on the antagonism it has forever met in the world. The root cause is their use of enemies they create in order to keep solidarity.
**debunked in 2014

*Two vördz: ze smart meterz
**Quote from [https://www.smartenergygb.org/ a deepfaked video of Albert Einstein in a British advert for electricity meters]

*Shopping wìz ze hwoman!
**Imaginary quote from [https://www.smartenergygb.org/ a deepfaked photograph of Albert Einstein in a British advert for electricity meters]
{{Misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Einstein==
[[File:Albert Einstein DC.JPG|thumb|I was particularly won over by his sweet disposition, by his general [[kindness]], by his [[simplicity]], and by his [[friendliness]]. ~ [[Louis de Broglie]]]]
[[File:Javad alizadeh joking-on--amazing-formula.jpg|thumb|I like [[quoting]] Einstein. Know why? Because nobody [[dares]] contradict you. ~ [[Studs Terkel]]]]
:&lt;small&gt;Arranged alphabetically by author&lt;/small&gt;

* These days it is common knowledge that '''short waves are more powerful than long ones''', as the very short ones, known as x-rays, damage living tissues. It took half-a-century to learn this fact: '''it was one of the great discoveries of young Albert Einstein of 1905. When he announced it leading researchers found it most incredible'''... 
** [[w:Joseph Agassi|Joseph Agassi]], ''Radiation Theory and the Quantum Revolution'' (1993)

* ...do not be impressed by the imprint of a famous publishing house or the volumes of an author's publications. Bear in mind that [[Einstein]] needed only seventeen pages for his contribution which revolutionized physics, while there are [[w:Graphomania|graphomanics]] in asylums who use up mounds of paper every day. 
** [[Stanislav Andreski]], ''The Social Sciences as Sorcery'' (1972, London: Deutsch), p 86

* The astonishing thing about Einstein's equations is that they appear to have come out of nothing.
** [[Ernest Barnes]], as quoted by [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* '''I was particularly won over by his sweet disposition, by his general kindness, by his [[simplicity]], and by his friendliness.''' Occasionally, gaiety would gain the upper hand and he would strike a more personal note and even disclose some detail of his day-to-day life. Then again, reverting to his characteristic mood of reflection and meditation, he would launch into a profound and original discussion of a variety of scientific and other problems. I shall always remember the enchantment of all those meetings, from which I carried away an indelible impression of Einstein's great human qualities.
** [[Louis de Broglie]], ''New Perspectives in Physics'', p. 182

* It is almost impertinent to talk of the ascent of man in the presence of two men, Newton and Einstein, who stride like gods. Of the two, Newton is the Old Testament god; it is Einstein who is the New Testament figure. He was full of humanity, pity, a sense of enormous sympathy. His vision of nature herself was that of a human being in the presence of something god-like, and that is what he always said about nature. He was fond of talking about God: 'God does not play at dice', 'God is not malicious'. Finally Niels Bohr one day said to him, 'Stop telling God what to do'. But that is not quite fair. Einstein was a man who could ask immensely simple questions. And what his life showed, and his work, is that when the answers are simple too, then you hear God thinking.
** Jacob Bronowski, ''The Ascent of Man'' (1974), Ch. 7: The Majestic Clockwork

* '''Like many other [[great]] [[scientists]] he does not fit the boxes in which popular polemicists like to pigeonhole him.''' ... It is clear for example that he had respect for the religious values enshrined within [[Judaic]] and [[Christian]] traditions ... but what he understood by religion was something far more subtle than what is usually meant by the word in popular discussion.
** [http://users.ox.ac.uk/~theo0038/biogbrooke.html John Brooke], as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (13 May 2008)]

* Some people have reported that Einstein was quite a good musician, but others weren't so enthusiastic. A professional violinist claimed he &quot;fiddled like a lumberjack&quot;; a famous pianist playing with him demanded, &quot;For heaven's sake Albert, can't you count?&quot;; and a music critic in Berlin, thinking Einstein was famous for his violin playing rather than physics, judged that &quot;Einstein's playing is excellent, but he does not deserve world fame; there are many others just as good.&quot;
** Alice Calaprice &amp; Trevor Lipscombe, ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' (2005)

* A niece of Einstein's, in India during the 1960s, paid a special visit to the headquarters of the [[w:Theosophical Society at Adyar|Theosophical Society at Adyar]]. She explained that she knew nothing of theosophy or the society, but had to see the place because her uncle always had a copy of [[H. P. Blavatsky|Madame Blavatsky]]'s [[Secret Doctrine]] on his desk. The individual to whom the niece spoke was [https://theosophy.wiki/en/Eunice_Layton Eunice Layton], a world-traveled theosophical lecturer who happened to be at the reception desk when she arrived.
**''HPB - The Extraordinary Life and Influence of Helena Blavatsky, Founder of the Modern Theosophical Movement'', Sylvia Cranston, (1994), p. 557-558.

*Einstein, Albert (2.2) 2 2 4 2 3 (his point in evolution &amp;  rays)  
**[[Benjamin Creme]] in  The List of [[Initiation (theosophy)|Initiates]], Their rays and stage of evolution, as published in ''Maitreya’s Mission Volumes One, Two and Three'', as well as those published in ''Share International'' between April 1997 and August 2014.

* To-day, thanks to Einstein, we have definite reasons for believing that ultra-precise observation of nature has revealed our natural geometry arrived at with solids and light rays to be slightly non-Euclidean and to vary from place to place. So although the non-Euclidean geometers never suspected it (with the exception of [[Carl Friedrich Gauss|Gauss]], [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] and [[William Kingdon Clifford|Clifford]]), our real world happens to be one of the dream-worlds whose possible existence their mathematical genius forsaw.
** A. D'Abro, ''[https://archive.org/details/TheEvolutionOfScientificThought The Evolution of Scientific Thought from Newton to Einstein]'' (1927) p. 37

* His considered answer to what God was doing before creating the universe was &quot;the world was made with time and not in time.&quot; [[Augustine of Hippo|Augustine's]] God is a being who transcends time, a being located outside time altogether and responsible for creating time as well as space and matter. ...[[Plato]] said much the same thing hundreds of years earlier. ...The history of philosophy is so rich and diverse that it would be astonishing if theories emerging from science hadn't been foreshadowed in some vague way by somebody. The significant thing about Einstein's work is that he showed in a precise, testable way, using detailed mathematical theory, how space and time are ''part'' of nature, and not merely a given arena in which the great drama of nature is acted out.
** [[w:Paul Davies|Paul Davies]], ''Cosmic Jackpot: Why Our Universe is Just Right for Life'' (2007)

* [[Richard Feynman|Dick]] fought back against my skepticism, arguing that Einstein had failed because he stopped thinking in concrete physical images and became a manipulator of equations. I had to admit that was true. The great discoveries of Einstein's earlier years were all based on direct physical intuition. Einstein's later unified theories failed because they were only sets of equations without physical meaning. Dick's sum-over-histories theory was in the spirit of the young Einstein, not of the old Einstein. It was solidly rooted in physical reality.
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''Disturbing the Universe'' (1979), p. 62.

* There is no such thing as a simple material universe. The old vision which Einstein maintained until the end of his life, of an objective world of space and time and matter independent of human thought and observation, is no longer ours. Einstein hoped to find a universe possessing... &quot;objective reality,&quot; a universe of mountaintops which he could comprehend by means of a finite set of equations. Nature, it turns out, lives not on the mountaintops but in the valleys.
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''[[w:Infinite in All Directions|Infinite in All Directions]]: Gifford Lectures given at Aberdeen, Scotland April-November 1985'' (1988) p. 7 (paperback, 1989).

* '''Like [[David Hilbert|Hilbert]], Einstein did his great work up to the age of forty without any reductionist bias.''' His crowning achievement, the general relativistic theory of gravitation, grew out of a deep physical understanding of natural processes. '''Only at the very end of his ten-year struggle to understand gravitation did he reduce the outcome of his understanding to a finite set of field equations.''' But like Hilbert, as he grew older he concentrated his attention more and more on the formal properties of [[w:Einstein field equations|his equations]], and he lost interest in the wider universe of ideas out of which his equations arose. His last twenty years were spent in a fruitless search for a set of equations that would unify the whole of physics, without paying attention to the rapidly proliferating experimental discoveries that any unified theory would have to explain. I do not have to say more about... '''Einstein's lonely attempt to reduce physics to a finite set of marks on paper'''. His attempt '''failed as dismally as Hilbert's attempt to do the same thing in mathematics.'''
** [[Freeman Dyson]], ''The Scientist As Rebel'' (2006)

* Einstein was not a mathematician, but a physicist who had mixed feelings about mathematics. ...[H]e had enormous respect for the power of mathematics to describe the workings of nature, and he had an instinct for mathematical beauty ...On the other hand, he had no interest in pure mathematics, and he had no technical skill as a mathematician. In his later years he hired younger colleagues... assistants to do mathematical calculations for him. His way of thinking was physical rather than mathematical. He was supreme among physicists as a bird who saw further than others.
** Freeman Dyson, &quot;Birds and Frogs&quot; (Oct. 4, 2008) [[w:American Mathematical Society|AMS]] Einstein Public Lecture in Mathematics, as published in ''Notices of the AMS'', (Feb, 2009). Also published in ''The Best Writing on Mathematics: 2010'' (2011) p. 57.

* Einstein in real life was not only a great politician and a great philosopher. He was also a great observer of the human comedy, with a robust sense of humor. The third side of Einstein's personality is not emphasized by [Steven] Gimbel, but was an important cause of his immense popularity. He came as an observer to my boarding school in England in 1931, a few years before I arrived there. He was in England as the guest of Frederick Lindemann, an Oxford physicist who was also a friend and adviser to Winston Churchill.&lt;br&gt;Lindemann took him to the school to meet one of the boys who was a family friend. The boy was living in Second Chamber, in an ancient building where the walls are ornamented with marble memorials to boys who occupied the rooms in past centuries. Einstein and Lindemann wandered by mistake into the adjoining First Chamber, which had been converted from a living room to a bathroom. In First Chamber, the marble memorials were preserved, but underneath them on the walls were hooks where boys had hung their smelly football clothes. Einstein surveyed the scene for a while in silence, and then said: &quot;Now I understand: the spirits of the departed pass over into the trousers of the living.&quot;
** [[Freeman Dyson]], &quot;Einstein as a Jew and a Philosopher&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (May 7, 2015)

* The longitude race was reborn in a twentieth-century version, as optimistic inventors designed devices to synchronize timepieces all over the world. Aiming to protect the fortunes they envisaged reaping, they applied for patents in Switzerland, center of the clock-making trade. And many of their designs landed on the desk of a philosophical physicist who was originally more interested in thermodynamics than in time—Patent Officer Albert Einstein.
** [[w:Patricia Fara|Patricia Fara]], Science ''A Four Thousand Year History'' (2009)

* I reflected with pleasure on my conversations with the late Hungarian theoretician Nandor Balazs, one of Einstein's last assistants. Balazs did not try to hide Einstein's foibles - including his impatience with pestering journalists and autograph-hunters, his selfish pursuit of what would now be called &quot;his own space&quot; - but he stressed that Einstein was a man of exceptional kindness and generosity. So was he a saint?, I asked Balazs. &quot;No,&quot; he replied firmly. &quot;He was better than that - he was human.&quot;
** [[w:Graham Farmelo|Graham Farmelo]], &quot;[https://www.timeshighereducation.com/books/bright-life-clouded-by-dark-matter/403652.article Bright life clouded by dark matter]&quot; (September 25, 2008)

* We postulate: It shall be impossible, by any experiment whatsoever performed inside such a box, to detect a difference between an acceleration relative to the nebulae and gravity. That is, an accelerating box in some gravitational field is indistinguishable from a stationary box in some different gravitational field. How much like Einstein this sounds, how reminiscent of his postulate of special relativity! We know the principle of equivalence works for springs, (as we knew special relativity worked for electrodynamics), and we extend it by fiat to all experiments whatsoever. We are used to such procedures by now, but how originally brilliant it was in 1911—what a brilliant, marvelous man Einstein was!
** [[Richard Feynman]], 1962-63, in ''Feynman Lectures on Gravitation'' (1995), Lecture 7

* Einstein, who thought that he had a unified theory just around the corner, but didn't know anything about nuclei and was unable of course to guess it.
** [[Richard Feynman]], interview published in ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1988) edited by Paul C. W. Davies and Julian R. Brown

* '''Einstein was a giant. His head was in the [[clouds]], but his feet were on the ground. Those of us who are not so tall have to [[choose]]!'''
** [[Richard Feynman]], as quoted in ''Collective Electrodynamics : Quantum Foundations of Electromagnetism'' (2002) by Carver A. Mead, p. xix

* From 1916 Einstein and [[Willem de Sitter|de Sitter]] corresponded extensively on exactly what kind of universe best fit the relativity equations. De Sitter initially developed a model of a spherical universe, in contrast to the cylindrical one Einstein had envisioned. De Sitter also tried to map out the shape of the spherical universe in absence of all matter. '''Einstein's reaction to de Sitter's model was strong and negative'''...de Sitter's sphere described a universe that changed in size instead of remaining nicely constant. ...Einstein saw matter—and its corresponding gravitational field—as what inherently created the shape of the universe. He cited what he dubbed &quot;[[w:Mach's principle|Mach's principle]],&quot;...the movements of any object ...were determined by all other bodies in the universe. ...how a body moves through space is tantamount to what shape space is, '''the concept of &quot;shape&quot; without matter''', Einstein insisted, '''was meaningless.'''
** Karen C. Fox, Aries Keck, ''Einstein A to Z'' (2004)

* Einstein joked to his dear friend Max Born that he had a version of the Midas touch: everything he said turned to newsprint. Einstein's science made him a worldwide celebrity, a status others might have enjoyed, but which Einstein despised. He was no shrinking violet, yet he detested the shallowness and meaningless absurdity that came with his universal adoration. But he realised that it could be handy. He was given a cultural megaphone and he decided that its best use was to amplify the concerns of those whose voices were least heard.
** Steven Gimbel, &quot;[http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/12/five-reasons-we-should-celebrate-albert-einstein Five reasons we should celebrate Albert Einstein]&quot;  (12 June 2015)

* Here is a man who changed the way the way we see reality, who stared down hatred and stood up for justice, yet despite all of this, the thing we immediately think of is that mane of unkempt, wild white hair. That may seem shallow of us, but I think it is a good thing. What does Einstein's hair signify? It was a political statement – he refused to conform to social standards of personal appearance. He was unapologetic in his individuality and unashamed of being different.
** Steven Gimbel, &quot;[http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/12/five-reasons-we-should-celebrate-albert-einstein Five reasons we should celebrate Albert Einstein]&quot;  (12 June 2015)

* The assignment we were given for this article was to describe the impact of Einstein's work on 20th-century physics. This formulation of our task is somewhat problematic given that a sizeable fraction of 20th-century physics is Einstein's work and most of the rest is more or less directly connected to it. Hence Einstein's impact definitely cannot be treated perturbatively. In fact, it would have been much easier to write about those developments of 20th-century physics that were not connected to the work of Einstein. But who would want to read or write that?
** Domenico Giulini and Norbert Straumann, &quot;Einstein's impact on the physics of the twentieth century&quot;, ''Studies in History and Philosophy of Modern Physics'' 37 (2006)

* I always like to remember that Einstein, in his last three decades of life, followed [[w:Unified field theory|this dream]] and seemed to be completely unaware of the exciting developments that were happening in nuclear physics during this time.
** [[w:Sheldon Lee Glashow|Sheldon Glashow]], interview published in ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1988) edited by Paul C. W. Davies and Julian R. Brown

* In the [[w:Brownian motion#Einstein's theory|Brownian motion paper]], Einstein... calculations involved the relationship between [[w:Osmotic pressure|osmotic pressure]], viscosity, and the way individual particles suspended in the liquid diffuse... He realized that the kick produced by a single molecule hitting a particle as large as a pollen grain could not produce a measurable shift... But the large particle is constantly being bombarded... if you take a very small time interval, then just by chance at that instant the particle will be receiving more kicks on one side. The combined effect will shift the particle by a minute amount... Einstein discovered that it gradually moved farther from its starting point... as a [[w:Random walk|random walk]]. He showed the distance ... depends on the square root of the time... This is called &quot;root mean square&quot; displacement and the equation Einstein worked out for displacement involves the temperature of the liquid, its viscosity, the radius of the particle and [[w:Avogadro constant|Avogadro's number]]. ...He also realized that if the predicted displacement could be measured... the same equation... could be used to give a value of Avogadro's number. ...It was extremely difficult to make the observations... but in 1908... [[w:Jean Baptiste Perrin|Jean-Baptiste Perrin]] finally succeeded. ...Perrin's results exactly matched the predictions from Einstein's theory. ...The whole package finally established the reality of atoms and molecules, and the validity of the [[w:Kinetic theory of gases|kinetic theory]]...
** [[w:John Gribbin|John Gribbin]] and Mary Gribbin, ''Annus Mirabilis: 1905, Albert Einstein, and the Theory of Relativity'' (2005)

* '''He used to say the left-hand side of [[w:Einstein field equations|his equation]] is beautiful and the right-hand side is ugly. Much of what he was doing in the latter part of his career was trying to move the right-hand side to the left... and understand matter as a geometrical structure.''' To build matter itself from geometry—that in a sense is what [[w:String theory|string theory]] does. ...especially in a theory like the [[w:Heterotic string theory|heterotic string]] which is inherently a theory of gravity in which the particles of matter as well as the other forces of nature emerge in the same way that gravity emerges from geometry. Einstein would have been pleased with this, at least with the goal, if not the realization.
** &quot;[[w:David Gross|David Gross]]&quot; interview, ''Superstrings: A Theory of Everything?'' (1992) ed. P.C.W. Davies, Julian Brown

* Einstein was a superb epigramist, who could capture in a single sentence many deep thoughts.
** David Gross, [https://books.google.com/books?id=rEaUIxukvy4C&amp;pg=PA1 &quot;Einstein and the Search for Unification&quot;], p. 1, in ''The legacy of Albert Einstein: a collection of essays in celebration of the year of physics'' (2007)

* '''Einstein was confused, not the [[Quantum mechanics|quantum theory]].'''
** [[Stephen Hawking]], Lecture at the Amsterdam Symposium on Gravity, Black Holes, and String Theory (June 21, 1997)

* '''The man who was best known for his legendary struggle with the most inaccessible and recondite theories... was—and to this day remains—one of the most readable and widely read scientists.'''
** {{w|Gerald Holton}}, ''The Advancement of Science, and its Burdens'' (1986) p. 29.

* Einstein's greatest legacy is not [[General relativity|General Relativity]], it's not [[quantum entanglement]], and it's not slices of his brain either. It's a word: Gedankenexperiment – German for &quot;thought experiment&quot;. 
** Sabine Hossenfelder, &quot;[http://backreaction.blogspot.kr/2014/10/einsteins-greatest-legacy-how-demons.html Einstein's greatest legacy- How demons and angels advanced science]&quot; (October 27, 2014)

* If light takes the path with the least time between two points, and light beams bend under the influence of gravity, then the shortest distance between two points is a curved line. Einstein was shocked by this conclusion: If light could be observed traveling in a curved line, it would mean that ''space itself is curved''.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* Einstein independently discovered [[w:Bernhard Riemann|Riemann's]] original program, to give a purely geometric explanation to the concept of &quot;force.&quot; ...To Riemann, the bending and warping of space causes the appearance of a force. Thus forces do not really exist; what is actually happening is that space itself is being bent out of shape. The problem with Riemann's approach... was that he had no idea specifically how gravity or electricity and magnetism caused the warping of space. ...Here Einstein succeeded where Riemann failed.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* Einstein showed that the [[w:Luminiferous aether|aether]] was unnecessary. However, he never said that the aether didn't exist. He merely said it was irrelevant. Thus, by [[w:Occam's razor|Occam's razor]], physicists don't refer to the aether any more.
** [[Michio Kaku]], ''Hyperspace: A Scientific Odyssey Through Parallel Universes, Time Warps, and the 10th Dimension'' (1995)

* He discovered a host of other basic results in theoretical physics and it has been pointed out more than once that if somebody asked: &quot;Who is the greatest modern physicist after Einstein?&quot; the answer would be: Einstein again. And why? Because, although the theory of relativity in itself would have established his fame forever, had somebody else discovered relativity, his other discoveries would still make him the second greatest physicist of his time.
** Cornelius Lanczos, ''Albert Einstein and the Cosmic World Order'' (1965)

* The '''mathematical genius can only carry on from the point''' which mathematical knowledge within '''his culture has''' already '''reached'''. Thus if Einstein had been born into a primitive tribe which was unable to count beyond three, life-long application to mathematics probably would not have carried him beyond the development of a decimal system based on fingers and toes.
** [[w:Ralph Linton|Ralph Linton]], ''The Study of Man'' (1936)

* Einstein's supreme greatness was in transforming physical thinking from that of the culmination of classical physics about 1900 to that of quantum mechanics starting about 1925. ...'''far more than anyone else, he caused physicists to think in terms of probabilities. He began to do this in his early work in thermodynamics, and he brought such thinking to its first great fruition in 1905 in his work on [[w:Brownian motion|Brownian movement]] and in his first work on radiation, in which he introduced the concept of light quanta or photons.''' Its second, even greater fruition was in his famous paper on the quantum theory of radiation in 1917.&lt;br /&gt;That paper illustrated methods that have been in use almost without change ever since, even though the majority of the users have no knowledge that it was Einstein who propounded them. It was in this paper that '''Einstein postulated the various transition possibilities between two states of a quantized system. ...quantum theory has existed ever since precisely for the purpose of evaluating these probabilities.''' In this paper of 1917 Einstein postulated in particular the process known as [[w:Stimulated emission|stimulated emission]], and inferred the properties of this process. This is the process employed in the... light [[w:Maser|maser]] or [[w:Laser|laser]].
** [[w:William McCrea (astronomer)|W. H. McCrea]], as quoted by [[w:Gerald James Whitrow|G. J. Whitrow]], ''Einstein, the Man and His Achievement'' (1973)

* There once was a doctor with cool white hair. He was well known because he came up with some important ideas. He didn't grow the cool hair until after he was done figuring that stuff out, but by the time everyone realized how good his ideas were, he had grown the hair, so that's how everyone pictures him. He was so good at coming up with ideas that we use his name to mean &quot;someone who's good at thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Two of his biggest ideas were about how space and time work. This thing you're reading right now explains those ideas using only the ten hundred words people use the most often. The doctor figured out the first idea while he was working in an office, and he figured out the second one ten years later, while he was working at a school. That second idea was a hundred years ago this year. (He also had a few other ideas that were just as important. People have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how he was so good at thinking.)
** Randall Munroe, &quot;[http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/the-space-doctors-big-idea-einstein-general-relativity?mbid=rss The Space Doctor's Big Idea]&quot; (Nov 18, 2015)

*[[Einstein]] is also, and I think rightly, known as a man of very great goodwill and [[humanity]]. Indeed if I had to think of a single word for his attitude towards human problems, I would pick the Sanskrit word [[Ahimsa]], not to hurt, harmlessness. 
**[[Robert Oppenheimer]] in: ''[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/1966/mar/17/on-albert-einstein/On Albert Einstein],'' The New York Review of Books.

* '''Under [[w:Marcel Grossmann|Grossman's]] guidance, Einstein studied and learned [[w:Tensor|tensor]] analysis. The two men actually published several papers together''', but the work at this stage was still a kind of groping in the dark—a mind-tormenting search for the one equation out of hundreds that was the correct one. ...Interestingly, '''the correct equation was actually considered briefly, but rejected''' by Einstein because he came to the mistaken conclusion that it violated [[w:Causality|causality]]. Then a further mistake led to the abandonment of the [[w:Principle of covariance|principle of covariance]].
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986)

* Pondering about the problem, Einstein thought about the beam of light curving around the limb of the sun; he soon realized that it was not the beam that was bent, but rather the space through which it traveled. Matter must somehow curve space and other matter must move through this curved space in the way we see it move—yet this way must be &quot;natural.&quot; He decided the most natural way would be along a path that represented the shortest distance between two given points in space (this is called the [[w:Geodesic|geodesic]] in mathematics). This would mean that '''the sun curves the space around it and the planets move in this space along geodesics. These geodesics appear to us to be elliptical orbits, but in curved space they are actually straight lines.'''
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986)

* From a simple point of view, then, '''Einstein's equation can be written: [[w:Tensor|tensor]] A = tensor B''', where tensor A describes the curvature of space and tensor B describes the matter that causes the curvature. In practice, B can also contain terms describing an electromagnetic field since electromagnetic fields represent energy, and energy is just another form of mass. Einstein's dissatisfaction centered on tensor B.
** Barry Parker, ''Einstein's Dream: The Search for a Unified Theory of the Universe'' (1986) referring to the [[w:Einstein field equations|Einstein field equations]] of general relativity.

* Summing up, we may say that there is hardly one among the great problems, in which modern physics is so rich, to which Einstein has not made an important contribution. '''That he may sometimes have missed the target in his speculations, as, for example, in his [[w:Photoelectric effect|hypothesis of light quanta]], cannot really be held too much against him''', for it is not possible to introduce fundamentally new ideas, even in the most exact sciences, without occasionally taking risk.
** [[Max Planck]] (with [[w:Walther Nernst,|Walther Nernst,]] [[w:Heinrich Rubens|Heinrich Rubens]] and [[w:Emil Warburg|Emil Warburg]]), (1913) letter of recommendation for membership in the [[w:Prussian Academy of Sciences|Prussian Academy of Sciences]] (1913) ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'' (CPAE) Vol. 5, Doc. 445 (1993)

* I cannot really endorse [[Planck]]'s philosophy, even if it is [[logically]] valid and even though I respect the [[human]] [[attitudes]] to which it gives rise. &lt;br /&gt; '''[[Einstein]]'s conception is closer to mine. His [[God]] is somehow involved in the immutable [[laws]] of [[nature]]. '''Einstein has a feeling for the central order of things. He can detect it in the [[simplicity]] of natural laws. We may take it that he felt this simplicity very strongly and directly during his discovery of the theory of relativity. Admittedly, this is a far cry from the contents of religion. I don't believe Einstein is tied to any religious tradition, and '''I rather think the idea of a personal God is entirely foreign to him. But as far as he is concerned there is no split between science and religion: the central order is part of the subjective as well as the objective realm, and this strikes me as being a far better starting point.'''
**[[Wolfgang Pauli]], in statements after the [[w:Solvay Conference| Solvay Conference]] of 1927, as quoted in [http://www.edge.org/conversation/science-and-religion ''Physics and Beyond'' (1971)] by [[Werner Heisenberg]]

* '''Einstein did not consider the concept of 'determinism' to be as fundamental as it is frequently held to be''' (as he told me emphatically several times), and he denied energetically that he had ever put up a postulate such as (your letter, para. 3): 'the sequence of such conditions must also be objective and real, that is, automatic, machine-like, deterministic'. In the same way '''he ''disputes'' that he uses as criterion for the inadmissibility  of a theory the question: 'Is it rigorously deterministic?'&lt;BR /&gt;Einstein's point of departure is 'realistic' rather than 'deterministic,' which means that his philosophical prejudice is a different one'''...
**[[Wolfgang Pauli]], Letter to Max Born (March 31, 1954) as quoted by P.W. Milonni, ''Fast Light, Slow Light and Left-Handed Light'' (2004)

* '''I tried to persuade him to give up his determinism, which amounted to the view that the world was a four-dimensional Parmenidean block [[universe]] in which change was a human illusion, or very nearly so. (He agreed that this had been his view, and while discussing it I called him &quot;[[Parmenides]]&quot;.)''' I argued that if men, or other organisms, could experience change and genuine succession in time, then this was real. It could not be explained away by a theory of the successive rising into our consciousness of time slices which in some sense coexist; for this kind of &quot;rising into consciousness&quot; would have precisely the same character as that succession of changes which the theory tries to explain away. ... I tried to present to Einstein-Parmenides as strongly as I could my conviction that a clear stand must be made against any idealistic view of time. And I also tried to show that, though the idealistic view was compatible with both determinism and indeterminism, a clear stand should be made in favor of an &quot;open&quot; universe — one in which the future was in no sense contained in the past or the present, even though they do impose severe restrictions on it. I argued that we should not be swayed by our theories to give up realism (for which the strongest arguments were based on common sense), though I think that he was ready to admit, as I was, that we might be forced one day to give it up if very powerful arguments (of [[Gödel]]'s type, say) were to be brought against it. I therefore argued that with regard to time, and also to indeterminism (that is, the incompleteness of physics), the situation was precisely similar to the situation with regard to realism. Appealing to his own way of expressing things in theological terms, I said: if [[God]] had wanted to put everything into the world from the beginning, He would have created a universe without change, without organisms and evolution, and without man and man's experience of change. '''But He seems to have thought that a live universe with events unexpected even by Himself would be more interesting than a dead one.'''
** [[Karl Popper]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=CxND59gFftMC&amp;pg=PA148 ''Unended Quest: An Intellectual Autobiography'', p. 148]

* Einstein had a rare ability to recognize the core principles that account for the world we observe. His perceptions were never diverted by the many fascinating distractions that enshroud Nature's underlying reality. Common sense, often a source of comfort, can distract. Experimental data, always the ultimate authority, can distract. Einstein saw beyond common sense and, while he respected experimental data, he was not its slave. He saw Nature as it is.
** John S. Rigden, ''Einstein 1905 : The Standard of Greatness'' (2005), Prologue: The Standard of Greatness: Why Einstein?

* He belonged to more causes than I did. I must have received a letter from him every other day asking for money. I always responded.
** [[Edward G. Robinson]], as quoted in Leonard Spigelgass's epilogue to Robinson's ''All My Yesterdays: An Autobiography'' (1973), p.&amp;nbsp;279

* In the last twenty years of his life, Einstein's continued challenging of [[quantum theory]] was often dismissed as his being out of touch with modern physics. He was indeed wrong in denying the reality of the &quot;spooky action&quot; he discovered to lurk in quantum theory. Its existence, now called &quot;entanglement,&quot; has been demonstrated. Nevertheless, Einstein is today recognized as the theory's most prescient critic. His constant claim that the theory's weirdness must not be brushed aside is borne out by today's proliferation of wild interpretations of quantum theory.
** Bruce Rosenblum and Fred Kuttner, ''Quantum enigma : physics encounters consciousness'' (2nd ed., 2011), Ch. 1 : Einstein Called It &quot;Spooky&quot; And I Wish I Had Known

* Einstein asked himself a question... how can the sun and the Earth &quot;attract&quot; each other without touching..? ...[H]e imagined that the sun and the Earth each modified the space and time that surrounded them, just as a body in water displaces the water... This modification of the structure of time influences in turn the movement of the bodies, causing them to &quot;fall&quot; toward one another. ...The Earth is a large mass and slows down time in its vicinity. ...If things fall, it is due to this slowing of time. ...Where time passes uniformly, in interplanetary space, things do not fall. ...[H]ere on ...our planet, the movement of things inclines naturally toward where time passes more slowly, as when we run ...into the sea and the resistance of the water on our legs makes us fall headfirst... [T]ime passes more slowly for your feet than it does for your head.
** [[Carlo Rovelli]], ''[[w:The Order of Time (book)|The Order of Time]]'' (2018) p. 11.

* '''Men like Einstein proclaim obvious truths about [[war]] but are not listened to. So long as Einstein is unintelligible, he is thought wise, but as soon as he says anything that people can understand, it is thought that his wisdom has departed from him.'''
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''Do Governments Desire War?'' (1932), a newspaper article for the &quot;New York American&quot; (as quoted in ''Mortals and Others'', v.1, 1975)

* Oh, he was a lovely man, Einstein. Oh, lovely man. He had the most perfect simplicity and perfect modesty, and all his feelings were humane.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], in an [http://www.russellsocietylibrary.com/SUSSKIND.PDF interview] with [[w:David Susskind|David Susskind]] (10 June 1962)

* It did not last: the [[Devil]] howling 'Ho!&lt;br&gt;Let Einstein be!' restored the status quo.
**[[J. C. Squire]], in &quot;In continuation of Pope on Newton&quot; (1926); Squire is here extending upon the famous statement of [[Alexander Pope]]:
::: '''[[Nature]] and Nature's laws lay hid in night: &lt;br&gt; [[God]] said, Let [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] be! — and [[all]] was [[light]].'''
:::* As quoted in ''The Epigrammatists : A Selection from the Epigrammatic Literature of Ancient, Mediæval, and Modern Times'' (1875) by Henry Philip Dodd, p. 329

* [[Napoleon]], and other great men of his type, they were makers of empire. '''But there is an order of men that get beyond that: They are not makers of empire, but they are makers of [[universe]]. And when they have made those universes, their hands are unstained by the blood of any human being on earth.''' ... [[Ptolemy]] made a universe, which lasted 1400 years. [[Newton]] also made a universe, which has lasted 300 years. Einstein has made a universe, and I can't tell you how long that will last.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], in a speech in honour of Einstein at the Savoy Hotel in London (28 October 1930)

* This man is not challenging the fact of science; he is challenging the action [or axioms] of science. Not only is he challenging the action of science, but the action of science has surrendered to his challenge.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], dinner speech, Savoy Hotel, London (Oct28, 1930) as quoted by [[w:Michael Holroyd|Michael Holroyd]], &quot;Albert Einstein, Universe Maker,&quot; ''The New York Times'' (Mar14, 1991); Ref &quot;axioms,&quot; see Julio A. Gonzalo, ''The Intelligible Universe'' (2008)

* It is true that many mathematicians and physicists do their best work when young. But in Einstein's later work we see something much more extreme than the usual falling off. It is as if Thelonious Monk or John Coltrane turned into an obscure twelve-tone composer. How did the greatest physicist since Newton turn into a failed player of mathematical games? All the biographers ask this question; none gives an answer that seems remotely plausible to me as a working scientist. 
** [[Lee Smolin]], &quot;[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2007/jun/14/the-other-einstein/ The Other Einstein]&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (June 14, 2007)

* In politics, it seems that Einstein was called naive for thoughts that we now understand to have been ahead of his time. Could the same have been true of his later science?&lt;br&gt;For science, the question to be answered is the paradox of Einstein's failed last years. I would suggest that the resolution of the paradox is that Einstein's dissent from quantum mechanics and immersion in the search for a unified field theory were not failures but anticipations. After all, even if many string theorists would disagree with Einstein about the incompleteness of quantum mechanics, much of what goes on in string theory these days looks a lot like what Einstein was doing in his Princeton years, which was trying to find new mathematics that might extend general relativity to a unification of all the forces and particles in nature. 
** [[Lee Smolin]], &quot;[http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2007/jun/14/the-other-einstein/ The Other Einstein]&quot;, ''The New York Review of Books'' (June 14, 2007)

* '''The one man who was, during the last years, certainly by far Einstein's best [[friend]], and in some ways strangely resembled him most, was [[Kurt Gödel]], The great logician.''' They were very different in almost every personal way  — Einstein gregarious, [[happy]], full of [[laughter]] and [[common sense]], and Gödel extremely [[solemn]], very serious, quite [[solitary]], and distrustful of common sense as a means of arriving at the [[truth]]. '''But they shared a fundamental [[quality]]: both went directly and wholeheartedly to the questions at the very center of things.'''
** [[w:Ernst G. Strauss|Ernst G. Strauss]], in reminiscences of 1982, as quoted in  &quot;Gödel's Life and Work&quot;, by [[w:Solomon Feferman|Solomon Feferman]], in ''Kurt Gödel: Collected Works, Volume I : Publications 1929-1936'' (1986), p. 2

* '''I like quoting Einstein. Know why? Because nobody [[dares]] contradict you.'''
** [[Studs Terkel]], as quoted in [http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4365429,00.html &quot;Voice of America&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (1 March 2002)]

*Albert Einstein, who was admired as almost superhuman and whose fate it was to become one of the most famous people on the planet, never identified with the image the collective mind had created of him. He remained humble, egoless. In fact, he spoke of &quot;a grotesque contradiction between what people consider to be my achievements and abilities and the reality of who I am and what I am capable of.&quot; 
**[[Eckhart Tolle]], in ''A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose'' (2005)

*This illusory sense of self (the [[ego]]) is what Albert Einstein, who had deep insights not only in to the reality of space and time but also into human nature, referred to as &quot;an optical illusion of consciousness.&quot;
**[[Eckhart Tolle]], in ''A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose'' (2005)

* You're a very clever boy, Einstein, an extremely clever boy, but you have one great fault: you'll never let yourself be told anything.
** Heinrich Friedrich Weber, quoted in Seelig, ''Albert Einstein''

* Einstein explained his theory to me every day, and on my arrival I was fully convinced that he [[understood]] it.
** Attributed to [[w:Chaim Weizmann|Chaim Weizmann]], after a long trans-Atlantic journey; ''Simpson's Contemporary Quotations'' (6822) credits [[w:Nigel Calder|Nigel Calder]], ''Einstein's Universe'' (1979); a slightly different version appears in [[w:David Bodanis|David Bodanis]], ''E=mc&amp;sup2;'', which credits Carl Seelig, ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' (1956), pp. 80–81

* Einstein's theory of relativity has advanced our ideas of the structure of the cosmos a step further. '''It is as if a wall which separated us from Truth has collapsed.''' Wider expanses and greater depths are now exposed to the searching eye of knowledge, regions of which we had not even a presentiment. It has brought us much nearer to grasping the plan that underlies all physical happening.
** [[Hermann Weyl]], ''Space—Time—Matter'' (1922) Preface to 1st Edition (1918)

* After [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] had made known his discoveries, mathematicians busied themselves with working out his system of geometrical ideas formally; chief among these were [[w:Elwin Bruno Christoffel|Christoffel]], [[w:Gregorio Ricci-Curbastro|Ricci]], and [[w:Tullio Levi-Civita|Levi-Civita]]. '''Riemann... clearly left the real development of his ideas in the hands of some subsequent scientist whose genius as a physicist could rise to equal flights with his own as a mathematician.''' After a lapse of seventy years this mission has been fulfilled by Einstein.
** [[Hermann Weyl]], ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=KCgZAQAAIAAJ Space—Time—Matter]'' (1922) p. 102

* His [[work]] revolved around three rules which apply to all [[science]], our [[problems]], and times:
*:1. Out of clutter, find [[simplicity]];
*:2. From [[discord]] make [[harmony]]; and finally
*:3. In the middle of difficulty lies [[opportunity]].
** [[John Archibald Wheeler]], interviewed in [http://www.bigear.org/vol1no4/wheeler.htm ''Cosmic Search'', Vol. 1, No. 4] ([http://books.google.com/books?id=4IMgAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22out+of+clutter%22#search_anchor Fall 1979]). The three principles are sometimes attributed to Einstein himself, but no source can be found showing that Einstein stated them, and Wheeler didn't indicate in the interview whether he was quoting something Einstein had told him or giving his own description of how Einstein worked.

* In considering the structure of the universe... Einstein assumed... the irregularities in the distribution of matter can be neglected [i.e., the universe is homogeneous]. ...he noted that the largest velocities then assigned to the stars and nebulae were very small compared with the velocity of light. In 1917... the immense red-shifts of the farther nebulae were unknown. Einstein, therefore, considered a model of the universe in which matter was distributed in a uniform and continuous manner, the relative motion of the various parts being negligible [i.e., a static universe]. Following [[w:Hugo von Seeliger|Seeliger]], he found it impossible to regard the system as filling the whole of [infinite] Euclidean space. Also he could not regard the universe as an island in infinite space. For, in applying a well-known theorem of [[Ludwig Boltzmann|Boltzmann]] relating the densities at various points of space in which a distribution of particles is moving at random, he showed that zero density at the boundary would necessitate zero density at all points inside.&lt;br /&gt;Thus it appeared to Einstein that the universe as a whole could be neither infinite nor have a finite boundary. Hence space as a whole could not be Euclidean. ...In the classical picture time and space are distinct, time being infinite in duration and space Euclidean. In devising an alternative model Einstein retained this world-wide separation of time and space, despite the fusion of the two concepts in General Relativity, but he assumed that space as a whole was of the type known as spherical.&lt;!--p.77--&gt;
** [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* Owing to departures from strict homogeneity, the actual world cannot be ''exactly'' of Einstein's form. The instability of Einstein's universe indicates that in general, a system which is nearly, but not exactly, of this form will tend to depart further and further from it with lapse of time. Consequently, Einstein's model cannot permanently represent the smoothed-out universe of nebulae. It is possible, or course, that the actual universe was much closer to this model in the remote past than it is now. ...It has even been suggested that the Einstein configuration was an unstable equilibrium state through which the universe slowly passed in expanding from an initial 'explosive' phase of small volume and high density.
** [[Gerald James Whitrow]], ''The Structure of the Universe: An Introduction to Cosmology'' (1949)

* Einstein was a world-famous genius and people I knew used to remark, &quot;You spend a good deal of time with Einstein. He has a perfect brain, doesn't he?&quot; Well, I have never known what is meant by a &quot;perfect brain.&quot; I do know that Einstein's mind was very human and had many defects. Einstein was far slower than Jancsi von Neumann to derive mathematical identities. His memory could be faulty, at least after 1933. And he was hardly interested in the details of physics. For a man like Edward Teller, developing the details of a physics problem was passionately important. For Einstein, it was not. In all spheres of life, Einstein's greatest pleasure was in finding, and later expressing, basic principles.&lt;br&gt;But Einstein's understanding was deeper than even Jancsi von Neumann's. His mind was both more penetrating and more original than von Neumann's. And that is a very remarkable statement. Einstein took an extraordinary plea sure in invention. Two of his greatest inventions are the Special and General Theories of Relativity; and for all of Jancsi's brilliance, he never produced anything so original. No modern physicist has.
** [[Eugene Wigner]], ''The Recollections of Eugene P. Wigner'' (1992), Ch. 10. It Is Far Better to Have a Good Marriage Than a Quarrel 

* A clear pattern emerges... he latches on to some perceived fundamental weakness or contradiction in existing physical theory and worries over it for long periods of time—as long as it takes. '''He is concerned not to exploit existing ideas but to transcend them. This restless style is not necessarily a recipe for success.''' Einstein did not play a creative role in the development of physics after 1925... The basic difficulty was that Einstein believed he saw difficulties in the basic foundations of quantum theory and that, characteristically, he wished to overhaul the theory rather than to exploit it. While his colleagues were applying quantum theory with great success to elucidate the workings of atoms, nuclei, and bulk matter, Einstein held aloof.
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* Most scientists are happiest when they are making clear progress, solving some perhaps small but well-defined and significant problems by clever adaptations of known techniques. '''Most people'''—perhaps all—'''feel acutely anxious and unhappy when they are &quot;groping in the dark&quot; or find themselves poised uneasily upon &quot;no firm foundation.&quot; We must admire the courage of those rare individuals who, like Einstein, systematically seek out such situations.'''
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* It is quite easy to include a weight for empty space in the equations of gravity. Einstein did so in 1917, introducing what came to be known as the [[w:Cosmological constant|cosmological constant]] into his equations. His motivation was to construct a [[w:Static universe|static model of the universe]]. To achieve this, he had to introduce a [[w:Vacuum_energy#Implications|negative mass density for empty space]], which just canceled the average positive density due to matter. With zero total density, gravitational forces can be in static equilibrium. [[Edwin Hubble|Hubble's]] subsequent discovery of the [[w:Hubble's law|expansion of the universe]], of course, made Einstein's static model universe obsolete. ...'''The fact is that to this day we do not understand in a deep way why''' the vacuum doesn't weigh, or (to say the same thing in another way) why the cosmological constant vanishes, or (to say it in yet another way) why '''Einstein's greatest blunder was a mistake.'''
** [[Frank Wilczek]] &amp; [[w:Betsy Devine|Betsy Devine]], ''Longing for the Harmonies: Themes and Variations from Modern Physics'' (1987)

* Einstein understood the central concepts of general relativity years before he developed the detailed equations.
** [[Edward Witten]], {{cite journal|title=Unravelling string theory|volume=438|issue=7071|page=1085|date=22 December 2005|journal=Nature|url=https://www.ias.edu/sites/default/files/sns/files/Unravelling(1).pdf|doi=10.1038/4381085a}}

* So, from a Bayesian perspective, what Einstein did is still induction, and still covered by the notion of a simple prior (Occam prior) that gets updated by new evidence.  It's just the prior was over the possible characters of physical law, and observing other physical laws let Einstein update his model of the character of physical law, which he then used to predict a particular law of gravitation.&lt;br&gt;If you didn't have the concept of a &quot;character of physical law&quot;, what Einstein did would look like magic—plucking the correct model of gravitation out of the space of all possible equations, with vastly insufficient evidence.  But Einstein, by looking at other laws, cut down the space of possibilities for the next law.  He learned the alphabet in which physics was written, constraints to govern his answer.  Not magic, but reasoning on a higher level, across a wider domain, than what a naive reasoner might conceive to be the &quot;model space&quot; of only this one law.&lt;br&gt;So from a probability-theoretic standpoint, Einstein was still data-driven—he just used the data he already had, more effectively.  Compared to any alternate Earths that demanded huge quantities of additional data from astronomical observations and clocks on airplanes to hit them over the head with General Relativity.
** [[Eliezer Yudkowsky]], &quot;[http://lesswrong.com/lw/qj/einsteins_speed/ Einstein's Speed]&quot; (21 May 2008)

* Albertino you're a hottino
**[[Mulder, R.]] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milt ''Nella Vagina Dell'Albertino - A Memoir''] (2022)

=== A. Douglas Stone, ''Einstein and the Quantum'' (2013) ===
{{Main|A. Douglas Stone#Einstein and the Quantum (2013)}}

==See also==
*[[Albert Einstein and politics]]
*[[Annus Mirabilis papers|''Annus Mirabilis'' papers]]
*[[EPR paradox]]
*[[On the Method of Theoretical Physics]], Einstein's {{w|Herbert Spencer}} lecture at [[University of Oxford|Oxford]] (June 10, 1933).
*''[[The Meaning of Relativity]]'' (1922 book consisting of an English translation of four lectures given by Einstein in German at Princeton University in May 1921; with several subsequent editions)
*[[Theory of relativity]]
*[[Unified field theory]]
*[[Why Socialism?]]
*[[Bohr–Einstein debates]]
{{Philosophy of science}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
{{wikisource author}}
* [http://einsteinpapers.press.princeton.edu/|The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein] from Princeton University Press, in conjunction with the California Institute of Technology and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem
*[http://einstein.biz/ Official Einstein&lt;sup&gt;®&lt;/sup&gt; website]
*[http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/index.html Einstein at the American Institute of Physics]
*[http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/einstein/index.php Einstein at the American Museum of Natural History]
*[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/ NOVA : Einstein Revealed at PBS]
*[http://www.nobel.se/physics/laureates/1921/press.html The Nobel Prize in Physics 1921] — [http://www.nobel.se/physics/laureates/1921/index.html Albert Einstein]
*[http://www-gap.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/Mathematicians/Einstein.html Profile at the University of St Andrews, Scotland]
*[http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/index.html Einstein on Science and Religion]
*[http://www.idsia.ch/~juergen/einstein.html Juergen Schmidhuber's Einstein biographical highlights]
*[http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/truman/psources/ps_einstein.html Einstein's letter to Roosevelt]
*[http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein FBI files]
*[http://www.th.physik.uni-frankfurt.de/~jr/physpiceinfam.html Einstein family pictures]
*[http://www.pbs.org/opb/einsteinswife/ Einstein's wife: Mileva Maric]
*[http://www.germanheritage.com/biographies/atol/einstein.html Albert Einstein Biography from &quot;German-American corner: History and Heritage&quot;]
*[http://www.alberteinstein.info/ Official Einstein Archives Online : 3000 documents]
**[https://www.firstinspire.com/albert-einstein/ Einstein Timeline]
*[http://www.albert-einstein.org/ Albert Einstein Archive at the University of Jerusalem]
*[http://www.einstein.caltech.edu/ Einstein Papers Project at Caltech (California Institute of Techology)]
*[http://living-einstein.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/living_einstein ''Living Einstein'' at the Max Planck Institute]
*[http://www.westegg.com/einstein/ Albert Einstein Online] - a comprehensive listing of online resources about Einstein.
*''Audio excerpts of famous speeches: '' [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein1.ram e=mc2 &amp; relativity], [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein2.ram Impossibility of atomic energy], [http://www.time.com/time/time100/poc/audio/einstein3.ram arms race] (From ''Time'' magazine archives)
*Albert Einstein: ''[http://lib.ru/FILOSOF/EJNSHTEJN/theworld_engl.txt The World as I see it]''.
*Albert Einstein: ''[http://www.monthlyreview.org/598einst.htm Why Socialism?]''
*[http://www.muppetlabs.com/~breadbox/txt/al.html Theory of relativity in 4-letter words or shorter]
*[http://www.pupress.princeton.edu/chapters/s6681.pdf Einstein and Religion (1999) by Max Jammer] ([[w:Portable Document Format|PDF document]])
*[http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition: Einstein's letter makes view of religion relatively clear&quot; in ''The Guardian'' (13 May 2008)]
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      <text bytes="67816" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Dave Barry|David McAlister &quot;Dave&quot; Barry]]''' (born [[July 3]], [[1947]]) is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally [[w:Print syndication|syndicated]] humor column for ''[[w:The Miami Herald|The Miami Herald]]'' from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and [[w:parody|parody]], as well as [[w:comic novel|comedic novel]]s.

[[File:Dave-barry-post-hunt-2011.jpg|thumb|right|A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.]]
[[File:White Swan Hotel Olympic Suite.jpg|thumb|If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.]]
[[File:Budweiser Pint Glass.jpg|thumb|Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.]]
[[File:Cue the Jaws music - (3425530115).jpg|thumb|Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.]]
[[File:Educational separation in the US prior to Brown Map.svg|thumb|So there's no question about it: by the mid-fifties, [[United States|America]] was definitely in a Golden Era, an era of excitement and opportunity for all citizens, regardless of race or creed or color, unless the person happened to be black. [[Racial segregation|Then there was a problem.]]]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|I'll tell you what would ''really'' age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot;]]
[[File:Minen.jpg|thumb|So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a [[boy]] came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes [[Charles Manson]] look like Captain Kangaroo.]]
[[File:Bimini - 1989.jpg|thumb|I think ''everybody'' should go to Bimini from time to time. I think [[George H. W. Bush|President Bush]] and whoever is governing the Soviet Union this afternoon should meet there. They would definitely have a more relaxed kind of summit.]]
[[File:Galliant Lady - panoramio.jpg|thumb|ALICE TOWN, BAHAMAS- In a surprise development, the leaders of the two superpowers announced today that they have learned all the words, in English AND Russian, to &quot;Conch Ain't Got No Bone.&quot;]]
[[File:Sunset in Bimini - panoramio (1).jpg|thumb|Maybe you should go to Bimini, too. Maybe I'll even see you there, and we can wave to each other, if we're not feeling too lethargic. Please address me as &quot;Bonefish Dave.&quot;]]
[[File:Brian Engler-Dave Barry &amp; The Fairfax Prize-Close-up 9-22-2013.JPG|thumb|]]

== Quotes ==
=== Columns and articles ===
* The problem is, when Oprah lost all that weight, her head didn't get any smaller. And so she looks kind of like a person carrying a balloon.
** ''Playboy'' interview, May 1990

*The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and time again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club. 
**[https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19900524&amp;slug=1073544 “Today's Topic Is About . . . Uh . . . It'll Come To US In A Minute”]   ''The Seattle Times'', (May 24, 1990) 

* But I do think we need to explore the commitment problem, which has caused many women to mistakenly conclude that men, as a group, have the emotional maturity of hamsters. This is not the case. A hamster is MUCH more capable of making a lasting commitment to a woman, especially if she gives it those little food pellets. Whereas a guy, in a relationship, will consume the pellets of companionship, and he will run on the exercise wheel of lust; but as soon as he senses that the door of commitment is about to close and trap him in the wire cage of true intimacy, he'll squirm out, scamper across the kitchen floor of uncertainty and hide under the refrigerator of Non-Readiness.
** Column, August 18, 1991

* The transportation bill had over $5 billion worth of special local projects and favors attached to it, lamprey-like, by various congresspersons. But this is good, because these projects will CREATE JOBS. See, when the GOVERNMENT spends money, it creates jobs; whereas when the money is left in the hands of  TAXPAYERS, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.
** [http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=HgBOAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=5osDAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=5149,5086013&amp;dq=dave-barry+pie+bake&amp;hl=en Column for week of February 29, 1992]

* I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
** Source: [http://docs.newsbank.com/openurl?ctx_ver=z39.88-2004&amp;rft_id=info:sid/iw.newsbank.com:AWNB:ORLB&amp;rft_val_format=info:ofi/fmt:kev:mtx:ctx&amp;rft_dat=0EB4F0B407FF900A&amp;svc_dat=InfoWeb:aggregated5&amp;req_dat=25BDDD9B91CF4278985B1339326C0BAB New York Times News Service article] on reactions to [[w:The Death of Superman|the death of Superman]], November 1992)

* As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
**Column, ''The Miami Herald'', 21 January 1996

* It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
**&quot;The Funny Side of 'Beowulf'&quot;, ''The Miami Herald'', November 2, 1997.

* What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a &quot;modem&quot; can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo.
**[http://docs.newsbank.com/openurl?ctx_ver=z39.88-2004&amp;rft_id=info:sid/iw.newsbank.com:AWNB:WPIW&amp;rft_val_format=info:ofi/fmt:kev:mtx:ctx&amp;rft_dat=0EB2C3CA5DAE0B10&amp;svc_dat=InfoWeb:aggregated5&amp;req_dat=25BDDD9B91CF4278985B1339326C0BAB Column for August 22, 1999]

*I say we scrap the current [Social Security] system and replace it with a system wherein you add your name to the bottom of a list, and the you send some money to the person at the top of the list, and then you . . . Oh, wait that IS our current system. 
** &quot;Elections could come down to who kisses most orifice,&quot; ''Miami Herald'' (September 24, 2000)
 
* Of course it's possible that there really ISN'T any shadow government. The whole thing could be a phony story that was fed to The Washington Post to mislead our enemies. As you recall, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld recently admitted that the Pentagon had set up an office-officially named &quot;The Office of Disinformation&quot;-that was supposed to put out false statements to the media, thus throwing our enemies off the track. For example, if we were getting ready to attack Iraq, officials of the Office of Disinformation would hold a press conference and state: &quot;Well, we're certainly not going to attack Iraq!&quot; The news media would report this, and Iraq would relax. France, meanwhile, would surrender.
** Column for week of April 15, 2002

* '''Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms -- so familiar at this time of year -- can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain.'''
** ''The Miami Herald'', originally 16 November 2003

* '''But this should serve as a reminder to brides of the importance of discouraging reception guests from discharging their firearms unless they have a good reason, such as the band vocalist attempting to perform &quot;I Will Always Love You&quot; in the official Whitney Houston Diarrhea of the Vowels version (&quot;And IIIIIIeeeeeIIIIIIIII, will alwaaaaays love yoooooeeeeeeeooooooouuuuueeeeeeeeeoooooo&quot; BANG)'''
** ''The Miami Herald'', 2 April 2004

* We must always remember that, as Americans, we all have a common enemy -- an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government. 
** [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A218-2004Dec14.html Washington Post December 19, 2004] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE3REvTJjXU, (Second Source: A video of Dave Barry reacting to a university response to this quote)]

* '''A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.'''
** Originally published in &quot;Encyclopedia Tropicana: A Reference Book for the Modern World, Volume 1&quot; by Joel Achenbach, ''The Miami Herald'', May 4, 1986; quoted by Bryan Curtis, &quot;[http://slate.msn.com/id/2112218 Dave Barry: Elegy for the humorist],&quot; ''Slate'', January 12, 2005

*I'm sure that this year we'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
**[https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1990/02/12/believe-me-you-ll-pay-for-this/ “Believe me, you'll pay for this”] ''Tampa Bay Times'' (Oct. 16, 2005)

* If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
** Quoted in: Kabir, Hajara Muhammad (2010). Northern women development. [Nigeria]. ISBN 978-978-906-469-4. OCLC 890820657

=== Nonfiction ===
==== ''The Taming of the Screw'' (1983) ====
* The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
* Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

====''Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead'' (1985)====
* Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

====''Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States'' (1989) ====
* The first major president to be elected after the War of 1812 was President Monroe Doctrine, who became famous by developing the policy for which he is named. This policy, which is still in effect today, states that:
*# Other nations are ''not allowed'' to mess around with the internal affairs of nations in this hemisphere.
*# But we are.
*# Ha-ha-ha.
** p. 62

* Stalin's strategy at the end of World War II was to acquire a small &quot;buffer zone between Russia and Germany, consisting of Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Yugoslavia, Albania, and most of Germany. In an effort to garner public support in these nations, Stalin mounted a public-relations campaign around the upbeat theme &quot;Maybe We Won't Have Your Whole Family Shot,&quot; and in 1945 Eastern Europe decided to join the Communist bloc by a vote of 28,932,084,164,504,029-0. Heartened by this mandate, Stalin immediately ordered construction work to begin on the Iron Curtain, which was given its name by Sir Winston Churchill, who, in a historic anecdote at a dinner party, said, &quot;Madam, I may be drunk, but an iron curtain has descended upon BLEAAARRRGGGHHH.&quot;
** p. 126

* In 1948 the Democrats had little choice but to nominate President Truman, under the banner HE'S GOING TO LOSE. Everybody felt this way: the politicians, the press, the pollsters, the piccolo players, Peter Piper, everybody. The Republicans were so confident that they nominated an individual named Thomas Dewey, whose lone accomplishment was inventing the decimal system. Truman campaigned doggedly around the nation, but his cause appeared to be hopeless. A Dewey victory seemed so inevitable that on election night, the ''Chicago Tribune'' printed the famous front-page headline DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN. This was because Dewey ''had'' defeated Truman, who immediately threatened to drop an atomic bomb on Chicago, so everybody went ha-ha-ha-ha, just kidding, and wisely elected to have the feisty ex-haberdasher have another term.
** p. 131

* So there's no question about it: by the mid-fifties, America was definitely in a Golden Era, an era of excitement and opportunity for all citizens, regardless of race or creed or color, unless the person happened to be black. [[Racial segregation|Then there was a problem]].
** p. 137-138

* Thus was born the civil rights movement, an epic struggle that has required much sacrifice and pain, but which has enabled the United States to progress, in just three decades, from being a nation where blacks were forced to ride in the back of the bus, to being a nation where, due to federal cutbacks, there ''is'' no bus.
** p. 138

* In 1980 the Democrats were pretty much stuck with [[Jimmy Carter]] and [[Walter Mondale]], who ran under the slogan &quot;Four More Years?&quot; The Republicans, meanwhile, had a spirited primary campaign season, which came down to a duel between Reagan and [[George H. W. Bush|George Herbert Walker Norris Wainright Armoire Vestibule Pomegranate Bush IV]], who had achieved a distinguished record of public service despite having a voice that sounded like he had just inhaled an entire blimp-load of helium.
** p. 167

* [[Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] finally won the nomination by promoting &quot;Reaganomics&quot;, an economic program based on the theory that the government could ''lower'' taxes while ''increasing'' spending and at the same time actually ''reduce'' the federal budget by sacrificing a ''live'' chicken by the light of a ''full'' moon. Bush charged that this amounted to &quot;voo-doo economics,&quot; which got him into hot water until he explained that what he meant to say was &quot;doo-doo economics.&quot; Satisfied, Reagan made Bush his vice-presidential nominee. The turning point in the election campaign came during the October 8 debate between Reagan and Carter, when Reagan's handlers came up with a shrewd strategy: No matter what Carter said, Reagan would respond by shaking his head in a sorrowful manner and saying: &quot;There you go again.&quot; This was brilliant, because (a) it required the candidate to remember only four words, and (b) he delivered them so believably that everything Carter said seemed like a lie. If Carter had stated that the Earth was round, Reagan would have shaken his head, saying, &quot;There you go again,&quot; and millions of voters would have said: &quot;Yeah! What does Carter think we are? ''Stupid?''&quot;
** p. 167

* That is where we stand today. And what lies ahead? Will we be able to solve our social and economic problems, clean up our environment, maybe even improve our technology to the point where we can land a manned spacecraft on Trump? Unfortunately, we cannot know what will happen in the future. If this book proves anything, it's that we don't even know what happened in the ''past''. But we do know this: America is a strong and great country, and her people have withstood many trials and tribulations (More tribulations, actually, because many never went to trial.). And whatever problems lie ahead, we may be sure of one thing: that if we all work together and &quot;hang tough,&quot; there will come a day when this nation- maybe not in the next few years; maybe not even in our lifetimes; but someday- will see the end of &quot;Dick&quot; Nixon's political career. But we wouldn't bet on it.
** p. 175

====''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990)====
*'''Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'''

* '''I'll tell you what would ''really'' age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot;''' No, of course they wouldn't come out and ''say'' that, but I know that's what they'd be ''thinking'', because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. I'm sure modern boys are no different. '''So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo.''' 
** p. 63

* So in some ways I'm relieved that I don't have daughters, although in other ways I envy people with daughters, because little girls tend to be thoughtful, whereas little boys tend to be- and I say this as a loving father who would not trade his son for anything in the world- jerks. I used to think this was society's fault. This was back in the idealistic sixties and seventies, when we Boomers had many excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. Remember those days? Remember when we truly believed that if society treated boys and girls exactly the same, then they wouldn't be bound by sexual stereotypes, and the boys could grow up to be sensitive and the girls could grow up to be linebackers? Ha ha! Boy, were we ever idealistic! By which I mean &quot;stupid.&quot; Because when we look at actual children, no matter how they are raised, we notice immediately that little girls are in fact smaller versions of human beings, whereas little boys are Pod People from the Planet Destructo. I don't think society has anything to do with this. I think that if you had two desert islands, and you put girl babies on one island and boy babies on another island, and they were somehow able to survive with no help from adult society, eventually the girls would cooperate in collecting pieces of driftwood and using them to build shelters, whereas the boys would pretend that driftwood pieces were guns. (Yes, I realize they'd have no way of knowing what guns were. This would not stop them.) Not only that, but even if the island had 176,000 pieces of driftwood on it, the boys would all end up violently arguing over ''one'' of them.
** p. 63-64

* I base my opinions on several years of working in an office located in a house with a large transient little-boy population. '''Individually they're okay, but if two of them get together, their combined IQ is halved, and if a third boy comes along it's halved ''again'', and so on, so that if you have, say, six of them, you're talking about the destructive force of a tank commanded by the brainpower of a Labrador retriever. They communicate with each other by slamming doors. They have the attention span of gnats.''' &quot;STOP SLAMMING THE DOORS!&quot; I'll yell at them. &quot;Okay!&quot; they'll reply (SLAM). They are so busy running around and arguing and breaking things and strewing random objects over every square inch of floor that they barely have time to pee, and they ''definitely'' don't have time to aim. They just race into the bathroom, let loose in any old random direction, and then race out again, because by God there are doors to be slammed.
** p. 64-65

* The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who would stop to help you change your flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club. Also, the Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by [[Phyllis Schlafly]], [[Pat Robertson]], the entire state of Utah, etc.
** p. 124

* I'll tell you what's weird. Not only is our generation turning into Republicans, but we also have a whole generation coming after us who are ''starting out'' as Republicans. With the exception of the few dozen spittle-emitting radicals I saw in Atlanta, the younger generations today are already so conservative they make [[William F. Buckley, Jr.]], look like [[Ho Chí Minh|Ho Chi Minh]]. What I'm wondering is,w hat will they be like when they're our age? Will they, too, change their political philosophy? Will millions of young urban professionals turn 40 and all of a sudden start turning into left-wing, antiestablishment hippies, smoking pot on the racquetball court, putting Che Guevara posters up in the conference room, and pasting flower decals all over their cellular telephones? It is an exciting time to look forward to. I plan to be dead.
** p. 128

* You  get the idea. The main thing is, ''don't be discreet''. We Boomers have never been a discreet generation, and I see no reason why we should fade quietly away just because we're getting old. Let's not go out with a whimper. Let's go out proudly whapping the umbrella of defiance on the taxicab hood of time. Let's remember the words of that rock song from the sixties, the anthem of our entire generation, the unforgettable song that spoke for all of us when it said... when it said... ummm... Jeez, how the hell ''did'' that song go?
** p. 179

====''Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need'' (1991)====
*We travel because, no matter how comfortable we are at home, there's a part of us that wants - that ''needs'' - to see new vistas, take new tours, obtain new traveler's checks, buy new souvenirs, order new entrees, introduce new bacteria into our intestinal tracts, learn new words for &quot;transfusion,&quot; and have all the other travel adventures that make us want to french-kiss our doormats when we finally get home.
*I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.
*What Dad means by &quot;see&quot; of course, is &quot;drive past at 67 miles per hour.&quot; Dad feels it is a foolish waste of valuable vacation time to get out of the car and actually ''go look'' at an attraction.
*During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true &quot;vacation paradise,&quot; offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.
*But Nebraska was not always a bed of roses. When the first settlers arrived, they found a harsh, unforgiving place, a vast treeless expanse of barren, drought-parched soil. And so, summoning up the dynamic pioneer spirit of hope and steely determination, they left. But a few of them remained and built sod houses, which are actually made of dirt. Think about that. You can't ''clean'' a sod house, because it would be ''gone''. The early settlers had a hell of a time getting this through to their children. &quot;You kids stop tracking dirt out of the house!&quot; they'd yell.
*Vermont: See New Hampshire
*Denmark (also called &quot;Norway&quot;) is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore hats with horns sticking out of them, and for a very good reason: they were insane.
*Ha ha! We are just poking a little friendly fun at Germany, which is famous for enjoying a good joke, or as the Germans say, &quot;Sprechnehaltenzoltenfussenmachschnitzerkalbenrollen.&quot; Here is just one hilarious example of what we are talking about:
:'''First German''': How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
:'''Second German''': I don't know! How many?
:'''First German''': Let's invade Poland and find out!
:'''Millions of Other Germans''': Okay!

====''Dave Barry Does Japan'' (1992)====
:&lt;small&gt;New York: Random House.&lt;/small&gt;

* My most important finding, however, does not involve the differences between us and Japan; it involves the similarities. Because despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people everywhere- when you strip away their superficial differences- are crazy.
** p. 19

* The way I attempted to learn Japanese was by reading a book called ''Japanese at a Glance'' in the plane from San Francisco to Tokyo. This is not the method recommended by experts. The methiod recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan.
** p. 20

* No, subtlety and protocol are not the strong suit of Americans, which is one reason why the Japanese tend to view us as large, loud water buffalo, lumbering around without a clue, tromping and pooping all over their carefully arranged, exquisitely tended garden of a society. I certainly ''felt'' like a water buffalo when I got off the plane at Narita Airport, mumbling my one word of Japanese, taking my long vowels seriously, and weighing approximately four hundred pounds more than when I got on.
** p. 39

* I never really did get accustomed to all the bowing. According to the guidebooks, there's an elaborate set of rules governing exactly how you bow, and who bows the lowest, and when, and for how long, and how many times, all of this depending on the situation and the statuses of the various bowers involved. Naturally, my family and I, being large, ignorant foreign water buffaloes, were not expected by the Japanese to know these rules. Nevertheless, we did feel obligated to attempt to return bows when we got them. &lt;br&gt;This happened quite often. It started when we arrived at our hotel in Tokyo. As I was descending the steps of the airport bus, two uniformed bellmen came rushing up and bowed to me. Trying to look casual but feeling like an idiot, I bowed back. I probably did it wrong, because then ''they'' bowed back. So ''I'' bowed back. The three of us sort of bowed our way over to where the luggage was being unloaded, and I bowed to our suitcases, and the bellmen, bowing, picked them up and rushed into the hotel. We followed them past a bowing doorman into the hotel, where we were gang-bowed by hotel employees. No matter which direction we turned, they were aiming bows at us, sometimes from as far as twenty-five yards away. Bobbing like drinking-bird toys, we bowed our way to the reception desk, where a bowing clerk checked us in.
** p. 44-45

* The mysterious thing about all this is that Japan- ask anybody who has been there- has superb service. And not just in nice hotels. Everywhere. You walk into any store, any restaurant, no matter how low-rent it looks, and I bet you that somebody will immediately call out to you in a cheerful manner. This happened to us all over. I never understood what the people were ''saying'', of course. They could have been saying: &quot;Hah! Americans! We will eventually purchase your entire nation and use the Lincoln Memorial for tofu storage!&quot; But they always ''sounded'' friendly and welcoming. And they were always eager to wait on us. I couldn't help but think of the many times I've been in American stores, especially large ones, attempting to give somebody some money in exchange for merchandise- which I always thought was the whole ''point'' of stores- but was unable to do so because the store employees were too busy with other, high-priority activities, such as talking or staring into space. More than once, in America's stores, I have felt like an intruder for trying to give money to clerks. &quot;Oh great&quot; is their unspoken but extremely clear attitude. &quot;Here we had everything going nice and smooth, and along comes this ''doofus'' who wants- of all things!- to make a ''purchase''. In a ''store'', for God's sake.&quot;
** p. 47-48

* In Hiroshima, a bellman arrived at our room, literally, within one minute. He had obviously been sprinting, and he looked concerned. He checked the faucet, found it was, indeed, malfunctioning, and- now looking ''extremely-'' concerned- sprinted from the room. In no more than three minutes he was back with two more men, one of whom immediately went to work on the bathtub. The sole function of the other one, as far as we could tell, was to apologize to us on behalf of the hotel for having committed this monumentally embarrassing and totally unforgivable blunder. &quot;We are very sorry,&quot; he kept saying, looking as though near tears. &quot;''Very'' sorry.&quot; &quot;It's OK!&quot; I kept saying. &quot;Really!&quot; But it did no good. The man was ''grieving''. The bathtub was fixed in under ten minutes, after which all three men apologized extravagantly in various languages one last time, after which they left, after which I imagine the hotel's Vice President for Faucet Operations was taken outside and shot. No, just kidding. He probably took his own life. That's how seriously they take their jobs over there.
** p. 48

* I would certainly never say anything judgemental about another culture, but in certain food-related areas, the Japanese are clinically insane. The new culinary rage when we were in Japan was to eat fish ''that were still alive''. I cannot imagine doing such a thing unless I were really desperate to get into a fraternity, but according to news reports, people were paying top yen in Tokyo restaurants for live, gasping fish. The waiter brings you your fish, still gasping (I mean the fish is gasping, although I suppose the waiter could be, too.), then quickly slices it open right at your table; then you're supposed to eat it while the fish is staring at you with its nearer eyeball and a facial expression that says, &quot;Go ahead and enjoy yourself! Don't mind me! I'll be dead fairly soon!&quot; &lt;br&gt;And that's not the weirdest culinary activity the Japanese engage in. There is also ''fugu''. This is a kind of blowfish that the Japanese eat raw. So far, you are not surprised. You are saying: &quot;Big deal, the Japanese eat a lot of fish raw.&quot; Well, what you are apparently not aware of, Mr. or Ms. Smarty Pants, is that ''fugu'' contains a ''lethal poison''. The liver of the male and the ovaries of the female contain one of the most toxic substances in nature, for which there is no antidote, which means that if your ''fugu'' is not prepared ''exactly right'', with ''all'' of the dangerous organs removed, you have encountered the Blowfish of Doom and soon are going to meet the Big Maitre d' in the Sky. Clearly this is a fish that Mother Nature is telling us we should leave the hell under water, but to the Japanese it is a great delicacy.
** p. 72

====''Dave Barry is Not Making This Up'' (1994)====
:&lt;small&gt;New York: Random House. NOTE: Quotes and cited page numbers are from the 1994 hardcover edition.&lt;/small&gt;

*We need our highest judicial body to stop this childish bickering and get back to debating the kinds of weighty constitutional issues that have absorbed the court in recent years, such as whether a city can legally force an exotic dancer to cover her entire nipple, or just the part that pokes out.
** p. 56, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Dl1Q8FYJT1cC&amp;pg=PA57&amp;dq=%22We+need+our+highest+judicial+body+to+stop+this+childish+bickering%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=2H22UMHfGYeGiQKdp4GwBw&amp;ved=0CDAQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22We%20need%20our%20highest%20judicial%20body%20to%20stop%20this%20childish%20bickering%22&amp;f=false Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up]

* In a few minutes we encounter dramatic proof that China's population is 1.1 billion: At ''least'' that many people are in a traffic jam with us. I have never seen a traffic jam like this- a huge, confused, gear-grinding, smoke-spewing, kaleidoscopic mass of vehicles, on the road and on the shoulders, stretching for miles and miles, every single driver simultaneously honking and attempting to change lanes. Our driver, Bill, puts on a wondrous show of skill, boldly bluffing other drivers, displaying lightning reflexes and great courage, aiming for spaces that I would not have attempted in a go-kart. Watching him, we passengers became swept up in the drama, our palms sweating each time he makes another daring, seemingly impossible move that will, if it succeeds, gain us maybe two whole feet. &lt;br&gt;We pass an exciting hour and a half this way, finally arriving at the source of the problem, which is, needless to say, a Repair Crew. Providing security are a half-dozen men who look like police officers or soldiers, standing around smoking and talking, ignoring the crazed traffic roiling past them. The work crew itself consists of eight men, seven of whom are watching one man, who's sitting in the middle of the highway holding a hammer and a chisel. As we inch past, this man is carefully positioning the chisel on a certain spot on the concrete. It takes him a minute or so to get it exactly where he wants it, then, with great care, he raises the hammer and strikes the chisel. I can just barely hear the ''ping'' sound over the sound of the honking. The man lifts up the chisel to evaluate the situation. I estimate that, barring unforeseen delays, this particular repair job should easily be completed in 12,000 years. These guys are ''definitely'' qualified to do highway repair in the U.S.
** p. 96

* I think ''everybody'' should go to Bimini from time to time. I think  [[George H. W. Bush|President Bush]] and whoever is governing the Soviet Union this afternoon should meet there. They would definitely have a more relaxed kind of summit. &lt;br&gt;ALICE TOWN, BAHAMAS- In a surprise development, the leaders of the two superpowers announced today that they have learned all the words, in English AND Russian, to &quot;Conch Ain't Got No Bone.&quot; &lt;br&gt;Maybe you should go to Bimini, too. Maybe I'll even see you there, and we can wave to each other, if we're not feeling too lethargic. Please address me as &quot;Bonefish Dave.&quot;
** p. 130

==== ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys'' (1995) ====

* Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term ''relationship''.
** p. 59

==== ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' (1996) ====
* Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.

* The first human beings didn't need computers, because they had no numbers. This was a big problem for parents, because they had no way to control their children (&quot;You kids stop that! I mean it! I'm going to count to... um... to... YOU KIDS STOP THAT!&quot;)
** p. 15

* It was the ancient Egyptians who first figured out that numbers could, if you added and subtracted them, be used to form mathematics; this made it possible, for the first time, to build the pyramids as well as keep score in bowling.
** p. 16

* Clearly, nobody was going to stand in the way of this amazing new technology. But because of the extremely high cost and phenomenal inaccuracy of early computers, the only customer for them was the federal government. In 1890, for the first time, the government used computing machines to conduct the census; it was completed in a record two months, and it yielded much valuable information, including the startling fact that the United States had only twelve residents, all of them named &quot;Earl A. Snepp.&quot; &lt;br&gt;As you would expect, when the federal income tax was enacted in 1913, the Internal Revenue Service quickly embraced the computer. The model used by the IRS was a simple yet effective device that employed a bank of electrically charged nails and a series of cardboard cards with various patterns of holes punched in them; when the nails were pressed down onto a card, they passed through the holes and formed a complete electrical circuit by pircing the naked bodies of taxpayers who had been summoned for audits.
** p. 20

* But it was not until World War II that the U.S. government began to unleash the true power of this technology, when our intelligence forces first employed computers to break enemy codes. Probably the most famous example concerns a top-secret cable sent from the Japanese military high command to Japan's ambassador in Washington on December 3, 1941. The cable, intercepted by U.S. agents, read: &lt;br&gt;E-WAY ILL-WAY ATTACK-AY EARL-PAY ARBOR-HAY &lt;br&gt;-TOKYO &lt;br&gt;This cable was immediately fed into the U.S. War Department's top-secret code-breaking computer, code-named CODEBREAKER, which consisted of thousands of interconnected electronic switches, or &quot;relays.&quot; Unlike human intelligence analysts, CODEBREAKER was able to work on the problem nonstop, 24 hours a day, never taking a coffee break (Although it did go to the bathroom four times), until finally, in March of 1944, it gave up. Before it quit, however, CODEBREAKER was able to correctly identify &quot;Tokyo&quot; as &quot;a city in Asia&quot;- information that was to prove vital in the war effort.
** p. 20-21

* The next major advance came soon after the war, with the construction of the first commercially available electronic digital computer, UNIVAC. This device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet, and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons. UNIVAC was capable of performing 5,000 mathematical calculations per second (Although it did get most of the answers wrong), which, although slow by today's standards, meant it was now possible for a single corporate employee to do something that formerly was impossible- play solitaire ''on the computer screen''. The modern electronic office was born.
** p. 21

* We're just beginning to scratch the surface of the capabilities of this incredible tool. Just as the people who were alive when the telephone was invented had no way of knowing that the new device would someday make it possible for virtually every person on Earth, regardless of physical location, to be interrupted at dinner, so are we fundamentally ignorant of the ways in which the computer will ultimately change our lives. We cannot see the future; we do not know what lies around the next bend on the Information Superhighway; we cannot predict where, ultimately, the Computer Revolution will take us. All we know for certain is that, when we finally get there, we don't have enough RAM.
** p. 209

==== ''Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs'' (1997) ====

* I'm Really Serious. Do ''Not'' Turn the Page. You ''Will'' Regret It.
** p. xvii

==== ''Dave Barry Turns 50'' (1998) ====
* '''If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.'''

[[File:1959 Volkswagen Beetle (27790620886).jpg|thumb|...increasing numbers of ungrateful Americans were purchasing the cheap and reliable Volkswagen Beetle, even though it had hardly any chrome and ''no fins whatsoever''. At first the U.S. auto industry laughed at the VW, but finally realized that, faced with this new low-end competition, it had to start making smaller, cheaper cars. But these would not just be any small cars; no, by God, these were going to be ''really crappy'' small cars, the theory being that consumers would be unhappy with them, and thus resume buying traditional American models that were designed more along the lines of freight locomotives.]]
[[File:Gremlin-Pinto-Vega in 2010.JPG|thumb|As the Germans, and then the Japanese, began to send over better and better economy models, Detroit shrewdly countered with a whole parade of stunningly bad cars, including the Ford Pinto, which exploded; the American Motors Gremlin, which appeared to have been designed by very young, poorly coordinated children; and of course the legendary Chevrolet Vega (I had one of these), a car that apparently had rust installed on the assembly line. You know how, in old ''Star Trek'' episodes, when people get beamed up to the Enterprise, their bodies become sort of transparent, and then they disappear entirely? Well, the Vega would do that ''while you were driving it''.]]

* On the business front, by 1955 the United States was being flooded with cheap, shoddy products from Japan. We of course laughed at these products and at the Japanese; we could not imagine in our wildest dreams that they would one day stomp on our consumer-electronics industry the way Godzilla stomped on Tokyo. If somebody had told us that the Japanese would eventually try to sell us ''cars'', we would have laughed and laughed, and then we would have gone back to trying to start our flooded Nash Ramblers.
** p. 70

* Americans loved Disneyland, because it gave them something good, something decent, something that epitomized a quality that vacationing American families value above all else: clean toilets.
** p. 71

* 1957- There was big trouble this year for the Boomers. There we were, innocently enjoying our childhoods, when, without warning, the Russians launched the first man-made, Earth-orbiting godless satellite, named ''Sputnik''. America went ''crazy''. Until then, we had just assumed that we were far superior to the Russians, because they were just a bunch of vodka-swilling potato chompers wearing bad suits, whereas we were a highly advanced consumer society with color televisions and Amana freezers and record players with as many as four speeds. And suddenly we find out that the Russians were BEATING US IN THE SPACE RACE!!!
** p. 78

* Guess who got punished for this. Do you think it was the grown-ups, who ''let'' the Russians get ahead? Of course not. It was the same group that had to get the polio shots: us kids. All kinds of experts came crawling out of the academic woodwork to declare that Americans were science and math morons, frittering away our brainpower playing Davy Crockett while Russian children were learning about the cosine. And so I remember 1957 as the year when school became less fun. From that point on, we spent a lot less time making authentic medieval castles out of papier-mâché, and a lot more time learning about the ionosphere. I suppose this change also had to do with the fact that we were getting older, but at the time I viewed it as yet another reason to hate the Russians.
** p. 79

* Dad was busy earning money so that the family could purchase the new Buick, which boasted ''44 pounds'' of chromed trim. The Russians may have had working space satellites, but they had nothing like ''that''.
** p. 81

* If I had to pick one year to represent the Fifties, I'd pick 1958. For one thing, it was the year that the folks at Wham-O, always looking for new ways to raise the level of American culture, gave us the Hula Hoop. This was a bright-colored plastic hoop that you spun around your hips using a hula-type motion. I realize that this sounds stupid, but you must trust me when I tell you, as one who participated extensively in this fad, that it really ''was'' stupid. In terms of intellectual content, the Hula Hoop made the Frisbee look like international championship chess.
** p. 81

* In consumer news, the American automotive industry, continuing its tradition of meeting basic consumer needs, came up with two major technological advances in 1959: 1. The Edsel. 2. Even bigger tailfins. Despite these accomplishments, increasing numbers of ungrateful Americans were purchasing the cheap and reliable Volkswagen Beetle, even though it had hardly any chrome and ''no fins whatsoever''. At first the U.S. auto industry laughed at the VW, but finally realized that, faced with this new low-end competition, it had to start making smaller, cheaper cars. But these would not just be any small cars; no, by God, these were going to be ''really crappy'' small cars, the theory being that consumers would be unhappy with them, and thus resume buying traditional American models that were designed more along the lines of freight locomotives.
** p. 84-85

* And thus Detroit gave us the Ford Falcon, the Chevrolet Corvair, the Studebaker Lark, and the Plymouth Valiant (my mom's car). As the Germans, and then the Japanese, began to send over better and better economy models, Detroit shrewdly countered with a whole parade of stunningly bad cars, including the Ford Pinto, which exploded; the American Motors Gremlin, which appeared to have been designed by very young, poorly coordinated children; and of course the legendary Chevrolet Vega (I had one of these), a car that apparently had rust installed on the assembly line. You know how, in old ''Star Trek'' episodes, when people get beamed up to the Enterprise, their bodies become sort of transparent, and then they disappear entirely? Well, the Vega would do that ''while you were driving it''.
** p. 85

* Do you remember that little vent that cars used to have on the front windows, so on coolish days you could let a little fresh air in without causing a big draft? WHO THE HELL TOOK THAT LITTLE VENT AWAY?
** p. 88

* You may have gone to college and learned how to solve all of society's problems, but when you get out in the real world, nobody ever asks you to how to solve all of society's problems. In the real world, what people ask you are questions like: &quot;Can you make coffee?&quot; and &quot;Where's the rent money?&quot;
** p. 135

* The antiwar protests led to pro-war- or more accurately, anti-anti-war- protests, including a big one in Manhattan in which thousands of people, many of them construction workers, marched through the streets. I went out and watched that one during my lunch hour. My main memory is of two men, both about my age: One was a crew-cut protestor, wearing a tool belt; the other was a long-haired guy on the sidewalk. The long-haired guy started yelling &quot;STOP THE WAR! STOP THE WAR!&quot; The crew-cut guy ran over to him and, stopping just short of making physical contact, began yelling &quot;BETTER DEAD THAN RED! BETTER DEAD THAN RED!&quot; The two of them stood there, close enough to exchange spittle, screaming slogans at each other. That was political discourse in 1970.
** p. 137

* The waterbed trend was similar to the fulfillment movement, in the sense that you paid for something that was supposed to bring you happiness, but you wound up with something less fulfilling, in this case motion sickness and water damage.
** p. 142

* 1973- This was the year that the war finally ended. Nixon called it &quot;peace with honor,&quot; although he surely knew that the Communists would take over, just the same as if we had never gotten involved over there in the first place- except of course for the hundreds of thousands of people who got hurt or killed. So you tell me why the whole thing was not a terrible, criminal waste. You tell me why Henry Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize, instead of being required- along with all the other &quot;leaders&quot; who kept sending Americans over there long after they knew the war was pointless- to get down on his knees and beg the forgiveness of the American veterans, and their families, and the Vietnamese people. Everybody knew that &quot;peace with honor&quot; was bullshit, but nobody cared at that point. Everybody just wanted it to be ''over''. When it finally was, there was no joy, only relief.
** p. 151. NOTE: The Vietnam War did not end in 1973, but in 1975. 1973 was the year the United States officially withdrew from the conflict and removed the last of its combat personnel from South Vietnam.

* Actually, I have fond feelings toward Gerald Ford, largely because of a semi-encounter I had with him in 1995, when he was in his eighties. We had both given speeches at an event in Bakersfield, California, and we were both among the passengers aboard a small, two-propeller commercial plane headed for Los Angeles, where most of us were making connections. The flight was running late, and although everybody was anxious to get going, we figured we had no choice but to sit through the safety lecture from the co-pilot. &quot;Ladies and gentlemen,&quot; he began, &quot;I'd like to take just a few minutes to...&quot; &quot;Let's just go!&quot; snapped Gerald Ford, former president of the United States. &quot;Okay, sir!&quot; said the co-pilot, sitting down immediately. That is my kind of leadership.
** p. 153

* A few years ago I got into a heated argument with the 18-year-old son of a friend of mine. Actually, it wasn't so much an argument as it was me getting angry at him for something he said. What he said, basically, was that he wished there was a war like Vietnam going on right then, so that the members of his generation would have something big, something exciting, in their lives. I told him that this was a reprehensible thing to say; I told him he should not want people to die to keep his generation amused. But in retrospect- although I obviously don't want another Vietnam- I see what he meant. He didn't want people to die; he wanted there to be something to give his life significance, something to mark his formative era that would be more meaningful than whatever TV sitcoms were popular at the time. We Boomers had that; we had a ''lot'' going on, maybe too much.
** p. 159

==== ''Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway'' (2001) ====
* When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: I have no idea. I don't even know what riboflavin ''is''. I do know I eat a lot of it. For example, I often start the day with a hearty Kellogg's strawberry Pop-Tart, which has, according to the label, a riboflavin rating of 10 percent. I assume this means that 10 percent of the Pop-Tart is riboflavin. Maybe it's the red stuff in the middle. Anyway, I'm hoping riboflavin is a good thing; if it turns out that it's a ''bad'' thing, like &quot;riboflavin&quot; is the Latin word for &quot;cockroach pus,&quot; then I am definitely in trouble.
* The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: &quot;There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.&quot;
* But when it came to eloquence, [[George H. W. Bush|George &amp;#91;H. W.&amp;#93; Bush]] was [[Winston Churchill]] compared with his vice president, the legendary [[J. Danforth Quayle]]. You never knew what Dan was going to say next, and the wonderful thing was, Dan clearly didn't know either. He'd be asked a question, and he'd start talking, and you could see in his eyes that he was thinking, Ohmigod I'm talking and I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW! 
* A lot of people were very upset, especially people in Palm Beach County, who were saying that they had accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan, which was clearly a mistake. Even Pat Buchanan admitted this.
*:&quot;You'd have to be ''nuts'' to vote for me!&quot; he declared. &quot;Hell, ''I'' didn't even vote for me!&quot;
*[Gary] Hart was clearly the most attractive candidate, the only one with even a remote chance of beating Ronald Reagan, so naturally the Democrats selected: Walter Mondale. When Mondale accepted the nomination, he wooed the voter by informing them...that if they elected him as president, his first move would be to jack up their income taxes. Walter you sweet talker!
*What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be &quot;colonial&quot;.

==== ''Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far)'' (2007) ====
*U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York ''Daily News'' reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House.
*In sports, Vijay Singh wins the Masters golf tournament and is awarded the coveted green jacket, which is quickly snatched away by angry Buick executives and given to Tiger Woods.
*In sports, the U.S. Open is not actually held because it's more efficient just to mail the check to Tiger Woods.
*Tiger Woods is kidnapped by rival golfers, sedated, handcuffed, placed in a straitjacket, wrapped in chains, and locked inside a trunk, which is then weighted with concrete blocks and dropped into the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. He easily wins the PGA Championship.

==== ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'' (2010) ====

* ''This book is dedicated to everybody who buys this book. Without you, I would have to get an actual job.''
** Dedication

* If Man A asks Man B for directions, Man B, realizing that Man A is a weak, direction-asking type of male who probably also reads owner's manuals, could decide to attack Man A's village and plunder his women. Man A is not about to run that type of risk.
** p. 27

* There was a time when the human race did not have technology. This time was called &quot;the 1950s.&quot; I was a child then, and it was horrible. There were only three TV channels, and at any given moment at least two of them were showing men playing the accordion in black and white. There was no remote control, so if you wanted to change the channel, you had to yell at your little brother, &quot;Phil! Change the channel!&quot; (In those days people named their children &quot;Phil.&quot;) Your household had one telephone, which weighed eleven pounds and could be used as a murder weapon. It was permanently tethered to the living-room wall, and you had to dial it by manually turning a little wheel, and if you got a long-distance call, you'd yell, &quot;It's long distance!&quot; in the same urgent tone you would use to yell &quot;Fire!&quot; Everybody would come sprinting into the living room, because in the 1950s long distance was more exciting than sex. In fact there ''was'' no sex in the 1950s, that I know of.
** p. 51

* There were automobiles, but they lacked many of the features that automobiles have today, such as a working motor. In the Barry household, we had a series of cars named (these were all real Barry cars) the &quot;Rambler,&quot; the &quot;Minx,&quot; the &quot;Metropolitan,&quot; and the &quot;Valiant.&quot; You could rely on these cars- rain or shine, hot or cold- to not start. The &quot;Metropolitan,&quot; in particular, was no more capable of internal combustion than of producing a litter of puppies.
** p. 54

* '''Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.'''
** p. 83

* Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way. These are snakes that started out as pets of Miami residents, until one day these residents stopped smoking crack and said, &quot;Jesus H. Christ! We're living with a giant snake!&quot;
** p. 84-85

* So they let the pythons go, and a lot of them ended up in the Everglades, which is basically Las Vegas for pythons. They've been engaging in wild python sex out there for years; wildlife biologists estimate that there are now more than one hundred thousand of them. They can grow to be longer than twenty feet, and they don't have any natural enemies, so they're eating all the other Everglades animals. The wildlife authorities are desperately trying to figure out what to do about this. My preference would be to use tactical nuclear weapons, but this would never fly with the wildlife community, which regards the Everglades as a precious ecosystem, even though to the naked civilian eye it is a giant festering stinkhole of muck.
** p. 85

* The American newspaper industry is in serious trouble. How serious? Consider: In 1971, when I was hired for my first newspaper job, there were 62 million newspaper subscribers in the United States; today, there are twelve, an estimated five of whom are dead and therefore unlikely to renew.
** p. 185

* I have, over the years, received in the mail approximately 17 million manuscripts from people whose goal is to become professional writers. They want me to discover them, encourage them, mentor them, find them an agent, etc. Some of these people have talent; some of them have actually become professional writers. But a great many of them will never become professional writers, because- follow me closely here- they are not good at writing. Of course I don't ''tell'' them that. Probably nobody will ever tell them that. They will continue to try and fail, and in the end they'll be bitter, like the early-round contestants on ''American Idol'' who think they got booted because Simon Cowell is mean, rather than because their singing sounds like a bull being castrated with a hockey stick. These contestants humiliated themselves on national TV because when they were growing up, loving to sing, always singing around the house, no thoughtful family member or caring friend ever had the kindness to put a hand on their shoulder and say, in a gentle and loving voice, &quot;You suck.&quot; They needed [[Simon Cowell|Simon Cowells]], but instead they were surrounded by Randy Jacksons and Paula Abduls, trying to be nice, not wanting to hurt their feelings, and thus setting them up for failure.
** p. 240

* Here's the problem: A lot of parents are insane. You may be one of these parents without knowing it, because the craziness takes over you gradually.
** p. 241

* I think that parents- not all of them, but a lot of them- are sucking the fun out of kids' sports. They're making it clear to their kids that they think sports is about winning, and ''only'' winning. This is a reasonable value to instill if you honestly believe your child is going to become a professional athlete. But you need to remember two things: 1. Your child is not, in fact, going to become a professional athlete. 2. There are more important things in life than winning. Such as not being a jerk.
** p. 244-245

* Your kids don't need you shouting at them on the playing field, any more than they need you shouting at them in the classroom. Let them play the game and figure out for themselves how they feel about it, without having to worry about your feelings, too. Make it clear that your happiness doesn't depend on the score. Cheer for your kid, sure, but do it ''cheerfully''. If you can't manage that, take a walk; the game will go on fine without you, because it's not about you.
** p. 245

=== Novels ===
==== ''Big Trouble'' (1999) ====
*The main reason why Deeber's car ignition had never been wired to a bomb is that reporters have poor do-it-yourself skills. ''(Chapter 1)''
*As it happens, the Herk household did have a dog, named Roger. Roger was the random result of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex: Among other characteristics, he had the low-slung body of a [[w:beagle|beagle]], the pointy ears of a [[w:German shepherd|German shepherd]], the enthusiasm of a [[w:Labrador retriever|Labrador retriever]], the stubby tail of a [[w:boxer (dog)|boxer]], and the intelligence of celery. ''(Chapter 2)''
*Inside the family room, Arthur Herk was methodically, relentlessly changing channels. He was doing this partly because the instinct to change channels is embedded deep in the male genetic code, and partly because he knew his wife and stepdaughter hated it. ''(Chapter 2)''
*Miami turned out to be a great market: It seemed as if everybody here wanted things that went bang. You had your professional drug-cartel muscle people, who needed guns that shot thousands of rounds per minute to compensate for the fact that their aim was terrible. You had your basic local criminals, who wanted guns that would scare the hell out of civilians; and your civilians, trying to keep up with your local criminals. You had your hunters, who, to judge from the rifles they bought, were after deer that traveled inside armored personnel carriers. You had your &quot;collectors&quot; and your &quot;enthusiasts,&quot; who lived in three-thousand-dollar trailers furnished with seven-thousand-dollar grenade launchers. You had an endless stream of shady characters representing a bewildering variety of revolutionary, counterrevolutionary, counter-counterrevolutionary and counter-counter-counterrevolutionary movements all over the Caribbean and Central and South America, who almost always wanted guns on credit. ''(Chapter 5)''
*Arthur, compelled by masculine instinct, leaned over and frowned at the contents of the case, exactly the way countless males have frowned at household appliances, plumbing, car engines, and all manner of other mechanical objects that they did not begin to understand. ''(Chapter 5)''
*After the door closed behind them, there was a moment of silence in the Jolly Jackal. Finally, John, sitting on the floor next to the briefcase containing ten thousand dollars in cash, said to Leo, ''Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'' This translates roughly to: &quot;How the ''hell'' did these people win the [[Cold War]]?&quot; ''(Chapter 6)''
*Monica was glad Walter was married, so she didn't have to go into any of the other reasons she didn't want to get involved with him, such as the fact that he had the intellectual depth of mayonnaise. ''(Chapter 7)''
*Even veteran air travelers find [[w:Miami International Airport|Miami International Airport]] disorienting.  It's often crowded, and it seems to have been designed so that every passenger, no matter where he or she is coming from or going to has to jostle past every other passenger. The main concourse looks like a combination international bazaar and refugee camp.  There are big clots of people everywhere: tour groups, school trips, salsa bands, soccer teams, vast extended families, all waiting for planes that will not leave for hours, maybe days. There aren't enough places to sit, so the clots plop down and sprawl on the mungy carpet, surrounded by Appalachian Foothill-sized mounds of luggage, including gigantic suitcases stuffed to bursting, as well as a vast array of consumer goods purchased in South Florida for transport back to Latin America, including TVs, stereos, toys, major appliances and complete sets of tires. Many of these items have been wrapped in thick cocoons of greenish stretch plastic to deter baggage theft, which is an important airport industry. Another one being the constant &quot;improvements&quot; to the airport, which seem to consist mainly of the installation of permanent-looking signs asking the public to excuse the inconvenience while the airport is being improved. The airport air smells of musty tropical rot, and it's filled with the sounds of various languages - Spanish predominantly, but also English, Creole, German, French, Italian, and perhaps most distinct of all, Cruise Ship Passenger. ''(Chapter 11)''
*It was the standard airport-security operation, which meant it appeared to have been designed to hassle law-abiding passengers just enough to reassure them, while at the same time providing virtually no protection against criminals with an IQ higher than celery. ''(Chapter 11)''

==== ''Tricky Business'' (2002) ====
*Gamblers need action, even when the odds suck. And so they return to the ships, night after night—the slot-machine ladies, clutching their plastic cups of quarters; the shouting, hard-drinking craps-table crowd; the roulette addicts, who truly believe, all evidence to the contrary, that there is something lucky about their birthdates; the blackjack loners, with their foolproof systems that don't work—all of them eager to resume the inexorable process of transferring their cash to whoever owns the ship.  In the case of the ''Extravaganza of the Seas'', the owner of record was a man named Bobby Kemp, who was usually described in the newspaper as a millionaire entrepreneur. Kemp liked the look of that, ''entrepreneur'', although he personally could not pronounce it. ''(Chapter 2)''
*Despite countless hours of practice, dozens of auditions, many artistic disputes, seven demo CDs, and two radical changes in hairstyle, Arrival never arrived. It wasn't that they were bad; it was just that, as they reluctantly came to understand, they really weren't anything special. They were competent. The problem was, there were competent bands everywhere. Competence wasn't the key to stardom; you needed something else. Whatever it was, Arrival didn't have it. ''(Chapter 3)''
*Experiences like that led the band to develop the Retaliation Song. The way it worked was, if they were forced to perform a song they hated, they'd retaliate by playing a song that was even worse. For example, if the band had to play &quot;[[w:My Way (song)|My Way]],&quot; it would counterattack with [[w:Bobby Goldsboro|Bobby Goldsboro]]'s sap-oozing piece of dreck, &quot;[[w:Honey (Bobby Goldsboro song)|Honey]]&quot; (''She wrecked the car and she was sad, and so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck!''). One night, at a wedding reception, an extremely drunk man ordered the band to perform &quot;[[w:The Ballad of the Green Berets|The Ballad of the Green Berets]],&quot; and then, a half hour later, demanded that it be played again. That night, Arrival struck back with the hydrogen bomb of retaliation songs: &quot;[[w:In the Year 2525|In the Year 2525]],&quot; the relentlessly ugly [[w:Zager and Evans|Zager and Evans]] song with the disturbingly weird lyrics (''You won't find a thing to chew! Nobody's gonna look at you!''). Some guests actually fled the room. ''(Chapter 3)''
*The remote control had 48 buttons. No resident of the Old Farts Senile Dying Center knew how to operate it. They were the Greatest Generation, men and women who had survived the Depression, defeated the Nazis, built America into the greatest nation the world had ever seen. But this damned gizmo had beaten them. ''(Chapter 4)''
*So for a while there, Eddie was one happy ship's officer. But like most men whose brains are in their dicks, he was not really thinking things through. ''(Chapter 5)''
*Once, when the bar was slow, he told her about things he'd found in his clients' pools. Alligators, for example; he'd encountered at least a dozen. Also the occasional snake. Hundreds of frogs. These were to be expected in South Florida, which as far as the native wildlife was concerned was still a swamp, no matter how many houses got built on it. ''(Chapter 7)''

== Related pages ==
*''[[Big Trouble]]'' (film)

==External links==
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*[http://www.davebarry.com/ The &lt;strike&gt;Un&lt;/strike&gt;official Dave Barry Website]

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      <text bytes="3529" xml:space="preserve">[[File:John Lehman, official photo as Secretary of the Navy, 1982.JPEG|thumb|John Lehman]]

'''[[w:John Lehman|John Lehman]]''' (born 1942) was the United States Secretary of the Navy from 1981 to 1987 and a member of the 9-11 Commission.

{{political-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* &quot;We are at a juncture today that really is more of a threshold, even more of a watershed, than the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was in 1941. We are currently in a war, but it is not a war on terrorism. In fact, that has been a great confusion, and the sooner we drop that term, the better. This would be like President Franklin Roosevelt saying in World War II, 'We are engaged in a war against kamikazes and blitzkrieg.' Like them, terrorism is a method, a tool, a weapon that has been used against us. And part of the reason we suffered such a horrific attack is that we were not prepared.&quot; 
** At the 130th Annual Meeting of the U.S. Naval Institute and Annapolis Naval History Symposium on 31 March 2004. [http://www.usni.org/seminars/annualmeeting/04/annualmeeting04Lehman.htm], [http://www.johnflehman.com/pdf/proceedings_MAR2004.pdf] (PFD)

*  &quot;We were not prepared intellectually. Those of us in the national security field still carried the baggage of the Cold War. We thought in concepts of coalition warfare and the Warsaw Pact. When we thought of terrorism, we thought only of state-sponsored terrorism, which is why the immediate reaction of many in our government agencies after 9/11 was: Which state did it? Saddam, it must have been Saddam. We had failed to grasp, for a variety of reasons, the new phenomenon that had emerged in the world. This was not state-sponsored terrorism. This was religious war. .... This was the emergence of a transnational enemy driven by religious fervor and fanaticism. Our enemy is not terrorism. Our enemy is violent, [[Islamic fundamentalism]].&quot;
** Ibid.

* &quot;I’d like to say we have fixed these problems, but we haven’t. We have very real vulnerabilities. We have not diminished in any way the fervor and ideology of our enemy. .... Today, probably 50 or more states have schools that are teaching jihad, preaching, recruiting, and training. We have absolutely no successful programs even begun to remediate against those efforts. .... Nobody paid attention. Presidents in four administrations put their arms around Saudi ambassadors, ignored the Wahhabi jihadism, and said these are our eternal friends.&quot; 
** Ibid.

* &quot;Many will recall with pain what we went through in the Reagan administration in 1983, when the Marine barracks were bombed in Beirut—241 Marines and Navy corpsmen were killed. We immediately got an intercept from NSA [National Security Agency], a total smoking gun from the foreign ministry of Iran, ordering the murder of our Marines. Nothing was done to retaliate. Instead, we did exactly what the terrorists wanted us to do, which was to withdraw. Osama bin Laden has cited this as one of his dawning moments.&quot;
** Ibid.

{{Misattributed begin}}
==Misattributed==

* &quot;Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.&quot; 
** This quote is often misattributed to John Lehman, but it apparently was actually said by Donald Regan, President Reagan's chief of staff, to a 1987 Gridiron Dinner audience. {{Citation needed|August 2022}}
{{Misattributed end}}

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      <text bytes="78569" xml:space="preserve">This page consists of things that many people think are correct quotations but are actually incorrect. This does not include quotations that were actually blunders by the people who said them (see, e.g., [[Wikipedia:Political gaffe]]).
:''See also: [[Quotations|Quotations on quotation]].''
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{{misattributed begin}}

== Misquoted or misattributed ==
*'''&quot;A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.&quot;'''
** Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, Thomas Jefferson, Ann Landers, et al. never said these words. The phrase is an alteration of one made by [[Jonathan Swift]]: '''Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it'''.

*'''&quot;Hell is just a frame of mind&quot;''': widely claimed on the internet to be a quotation from Christopher Marlowe's ''Doctor Faustus''. The demon Mephistopheles in ''Doctor Faustus'' does, however, imply a similar idea by saying that losing his place in heaven makes him experience hell, by comparison, wherever he is:
&lt;poem&gt;
:: &quot;Why this is hell, nor am I out of it.
:: Think'st thou that I who saw the face of God,
:: And tasted the eternal joys of Heaven,	
:: Am not tormented with ten thousand hells,	
:: In being depriv'd of everlasting bliss?&quot;
&lt;/poem&gt;

*'''&quot;If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.&quot;'''
** George Bernard Shaw never said these words, but [[w:Charles F. Brannan|Charles F. Brannan]] did.[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/12/13/swap-ideas/]
*'''&quot;The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious&quot;'''
** Widely attributed to [[Marcus Aurelius]], this quote appears in ''The Decline of the West'', by Oswald Spengler (1918 and 1923).

*'''&quot;I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.&quot;''', Dorothy Gale in ''The Wizard of Oz'' (played by Judy Garland)
**This phrase was never uttered by the character. What she really said was ''Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.''

*'''&quot;In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things, charity&quot; ''' (In necessariis unitas, in non-necessariis [or, dubiis] libertas, in utrisque [or, omnibus] caritas).
** Widely attributed to Augustine, but the phrase was coined by Rupertus Meldenius, a Lutheran theologian and educator, in 1626. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupertus_Meldenius]

*'''&quot;A stupid person's idea of a clever person&quot;''', [[Julie Burchill]] of [[Stephen Fry]].
**This phrase was coined by the Irish writer [[Elizabeth Bowen]] about [[Aldous Huxley]] in the 1930s. Burchill remarked that &quot;My husband claims that it was I who coined the line about Stephen Fry that he is &quot;a stupid person's idea of a clever person&quot;. And if I weren't a sober person's idea of a booze-addled person, I might be more useful in remembering whether this is true or not. Whatever, it's pretty damn good.&quot;
*'''&quot;Not a lot of people know that.&quot;''', [[w:Michael Caine|Michael Caine]], British actor.
**Peter Sellers said this whilst doing an impression of Michael Caine and Caine has become associated with the quote despite not having said it in the first place.[http://www.metro.co.uk/film/858942-michael-caine-i-never-said-not-a-lot-of-people-know-that]

*'''&quot;Nice guys finish last.&quot;''' Leo Durocher (1906–1991), US [[w:baseball|baseball]] manager.
**As reported in the biography, ''Nice Guys Finish Last'', (by Leo Durocher, with Ed Linn, Simon &amp; Schuster, 1975), Durocher's remark was his reply to being asked his opinion of the 1946 New York Giants. He actually said, &quot;Take a look at them. All nice guys. They'll finish last. Nice guys – finish last.&quot; Elision of the relative pronoun (&quot;who&quot;) in the final sentence turned an evaluation into a declaration that nice people are doomed to failure.

*'''&quot;The two most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity.&quot;''' [[Harlan Ellison]] (born May 27, 1934), US [[author]].
**Although stated by Ellison in a nonfiction essay in the mid-1960s, this quote has been frequently misattributed to [[Frank Zappa]]. In Zappa's autobiography, ''[[w:The Real Frank Zappa Book|The Real Frank Zappa Book]]'' (1989), on page 239, Zappa makes a similar comment: &quot;Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. '''I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.'''&quot;

*'''&quot;I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it&quot;''' [[en:Voltaire|Voltaire]]
**Thought to be words of Voltaire; it was actually written by [[en:Evelyn Beatrice Hall|Evelyn Beatrice Hall]].

*'''&quot;To learn who rules over you, simply find out whom you are not allowed to criticize.&quot;''' [[en:Voltaire|Voltaire]]
**A similar quote is noted in a 1993 polemic by [[w:Kevin Alfred Strom|Kevin Strom]], a neo-Nazi writer who used the phrase in reference to the [[w:Gay Mafia|Gay Mafia]]. Strom, in turn, attributed the phrase to a 1960s speech by academic-turned-white supremacist [[Revilo P. Oliver]].

*&quot;'''If I can't dance I don't want to be in [''or'' a part of] your revolution.'''&quot; (also: &quot;'''If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution'''&quot;)
**Widely attributed to [[Emma Goldman]], but according to Goldman scholar [[w:Alix Kates Shulman|Alix Kates Shulman]], it was instead the invention of [[anarchist]] printer Jack Frager for a small batch of Goldman T-shirts he printed in 1973. In her memoirs, Goldman remembers being censured for dancing and states: 
*** &quot;I insisted that our Cause could not expect me to become a nun and that the movement should not be turned into a cloister. If it meant that, I did not want it. 'I want freedom, the right to self-expression, everybody's right to beautiful, radiant things.'&quot; – ''Living My Life'' (New York: Knopf, 1934), p. 56
**** In the motion picture ''[[V for Vendetta]]'', V (played by [[Hugo Weaving]]) says that &quot;a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.&quot;
**See Shulman, Alix Kates ''[http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/Goldman/Features/dances_shulman.html Dances With Feminists],'' ''Women's Review of Books'', Vol. IX, no. 3, December 1991.
 
* &quot;'''Just the facts, ma'am.'''&quot;
** This, the best known quote from the Jack Webb series ''[[w:Dragnet|Dragnet]]'', was never said by Sgt. Friday in any of the ''Dragnet'' radio or television series. The quote was, however, adopted in the 1987 ''Dragnet'' pseudo-parody film starring Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks in which Aykroyd played Sgt. Joe Friday. 
** Correct versions:&lt;br&gt;&quot;All we want are the facts, ma'am.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;All we know are the facts, ma'am.&quot;
** See {{cite web
  | last = Mikkelson
  | first = Barbara and David P.
  | date = [[29 March]] [[2002]]
  | url = http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/dragnet.htm
  | title = Just the Facts
  | work = Urban Legends
  | publisher = snopes.com
  | accessdate = 2006-12-18
}}
 
* '''We trained hard... but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.'''
** Usually misattributed to [[Petronius|Petronius Arbiter]]
** Actually by [[Charlton Ogburn]] (1911–1998) from [http://www.harpers.org/archive/1957/01/0007289 &quot;Merrill's Marauders: The truth about an incredible adventure&quot;] in the January 1957 issue of ''[[w:Harper's Magazine|Harper's Magazine]]''
** Actual quote: &quot;We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. Presumably the plans for our employment were being changed. I was to learn later in life that, perhaps because we are so good at organizing, we tend as a nation to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.&quot;
**see Brown, David S. &quot;Petronius or Ogburn?&quot;, ''Public Administration Review'', Vol. 38, No. 3 (May – June, 1978), p. 296 [http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0033-3352(197805%2F06)38%3A3%3C296%3APOO%3E2.0.CO%3B2-Z]

* &quot;'''Elementary, my dear Watson'''&quot; – [[Sherlock Holmes]]
** This phrase was never uttered by the character in any of [[w:Arthur_Conan_Doyle|Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's]] written works. Though &quot;Elementary,&quot; and &quot;...my dear Watson.&quot; both appear near the beginning of ''[[s:The Crooked Man|The Crooked Man]]'' (1893), it is the ''&quot;...my dear Watson&quot;'' that appears first, and ''&quot;Elementary&quot;'' is the succinct reply to Watson's exclamation a few lines of dialogue later. This is the closest these four immortal words ever appear together in the Canon. 
** The first documented occurrence of this quote appears in the [[P. G. Wodehouse]] novel, [http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2607 &quot;Psmith, Journalist&quot;], which was serialized in ''The Captain'' magazine (1909-10) then published in book form (1915) and contains the following dialogue:
::&quot;That's right,&quot; said Billy Windsor. &quot;Of course.&quot;
::&quot;Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary,&quot; murmured Psmith.

* '''The end justifies the means.'''
** Often misattributed to [[Niccolò Machiavelli|Machiavelli]]'s ''[[The Prince]]'', in which the idea appears, but not the phrase itself, and to many other writers who repeat this aphorism at least as old as [[Ovid]], ''Heroides'' (c. 10 BC): ''Exitus acta probat.'' See also: [[Means and ends]].

* '''&quot;There's a sucker born every minute.&quot;'''
** While this is often attributed to [[w:P. T. Barnum|P. T. Barnum]], it seems to have been said by one of his competitors, commenting on one of Barnum's exhibits.
** See: [[w:There's a sucker born every minute|There's a sucker born every minute]]

* '''On the whole, I would rather be in Philadelphia.'''
** Misattributed to [[W. C. Fields]]
** Actual quote: &quot;Here Lies W. C. Fields: I would rather be living in Philadelphia.&quot; Presented as one of &quot;A group of artists [writing] their own epitaphs&quot; in a 1925 issue of ''Vanity Fair'', which may or may not have been written by the figures whose names appear with the epitaphs.
** In the movie ''[[My Little Chickadee]]'',  Fields' character is about to be hanged. With the noose around his neck, he makes his last request to the lynching party. &quot;I'd like to see Paris before I die.&quot; As the noose starts to tighten, he adds &quot;Philadelphia will do!&quot; 
**see Amory, Cleveland, and Bradlee, Frederic, ''Vanity Fair: Selections from America's Most Memorable Magazine, a Cavalcade of the 1920s and 1930s'', Viking Press, 1960, page 103.

* '''&quot;I invented the internet.&quot;'''
** Misattributed to [[w:Al Gore|Al Gore]].
** In fact, Al Gore did not claim to have &quot;invented&quot; the internet. This is a distortion of statements in which Gore claims credit for his role within Congress in funding the internet's development. While popularized by Gore's political opponents as a quote from Gore, the initial use of the word &quot;invented&quot; in this context was by ''Wired News'' author Declan McCullagh, who in turn was paraphrasing House Majority Leader Armey's criticism of Gore's claims. The correct Gore quote from CNN's ''Late Edition'': &quot;'''During my service in the United States Congress, ''I took the initiative in creating the Internet''. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.'''&quot;
**{{cite web
  | last = Finkelstein
  | first = Seth
  | date = [[28 April]] [[2006]]
  | url = http://sethf.com/gore/
  | title = Al Gore &quot;invented the Internet&quot; – resources
  | publisher = sethf.com
  | accessdate = 2011-6-16
  }}

* '''&quot;Theirs but to do or die!&quot;'''
**This is a misstatement of a line from [[Tennyson]]'s &quot;The Charge Of The Light Brigade&quot;, which actually says, &quot;Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do ''and'' die&quot;.
**See [[w:The Charge of the Light Brigade (poem)]]

* '''&quot;Far from the maddening crowd&quot;'''
**This is a misstatement of a line from [[Thomas Gray]]'s poem &quot;Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard&quot; (1751): &quot;Far from the ''madding'' crowd's ignoble strife, Their sober wishes never learn'd to stray.&quot; The line was later used by Thomas Hardy as the title of his novel &quot;Far From The Madding Crowd&quot;.
**See http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/134150.html

* '''&quot;{{w|With great power comes great responsibility}}.&quot;'''
**This is often erroneously assumed to be the quote of Ben Parker dating back to the original [[Spider-Man]] origin story as depicted in 1962's ''[[Amazing Fantasy]]'' #15. This statement appears as a caption of narration in the last panel of the story and was not a spoken line by any character in the story. In most retellings of Spider-Man's origin, including the [[Spider-Man (film)|2002 film]], the quote has been [[retcon]]ned (the alteration of previously established facts in the continuity of a fictional work) to depict Uncle Ben's final lecture to Peter Parker before Ben's tragic death and as the words that continue to drive Peter as Spider-Man.
**Also, the correct ''Amazing Fantasy'' quote is, &quot;'''With great power there must also come great responsibility.'''&quot; 

* '''&quot;It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.&quot;'''
** Attributed to [[Leonard McCoy]] from the run of ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series]]'', but the phrase was never uttered. The similar phrase &quot;not life as we know it&quot; is spoken by Spock in the season one episode &quot;The Devil in the Dark&quot;. The spurious phrase originated in the 1987 novelty song &quot;[[w:Star Trekkin'|Star Trekkin']]&quot;, in which the quote is attributed to Spock.  McCoy's line in the song was, &quot;It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!&quot;
** See: ''The Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations'', 2007 edition (Oxford University Press), entry by Elizabeth Knowles; {{ISBN|978-0-19-920895-1}}

* &quot;'''We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us.'''&quot;
** Alternative: &quot;People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.&quot;
** Alternative: &quot;We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.&quot;
** Commonly misattributed to [[George Orwell]] without citation. Sometimes also misattributed to [[Winston Churchill]] without citation.
** Actual source: [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/11/07/rough-men/ Quote Investigator] found the earliest known appearance in a 1993 ''Washington Times'' essay by Richard Grenier: &quot;As George Orwell pointed out, people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.&quot; The absence of quotation marks indicates that Grenier was using his own words to convey his interpretation of Orwell's opinion, as seen in citations below.
** In his 1945 &quot;Notes on Nationalism&quot;, Orwell wrote that pacifists cannot accept the statement &quot;Those who 'abjure' violence can do so only because others are committing violence on their behalf.&quot;, despite it being &quot;grossly obvious.&quot;[http://orwell.ru/library/essays/nationalism/english/e_nat &quot;Notes on Nationalism&quot;]
** In an essay on [[Rudyard Kipling]], Orwell cited Kipling's phrase &quot;making mock of uniforms that guard you while you sleep&quot; (Kipling, ''Tommy''), and further noted that Kipling's &quot;grasp of function, of who protects whom, is very sound. He sees clearly that men can be highly civilized only while other men, inevitably less civilized, are there to guard and feed them.&quot; (1942)
** Similar phrase: &quot;I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it.&quot; – [[Aaron Sorkin]] (''[[A Few Good Men]]'')

*'''&quot;Well-behaved women rarely make history.&quot;'''
** Often attributed to actress [[Marilyn Monroe]], the quote was actually written by [[w:Laurel Thatcher Ulrich|Laurel Thatcher Ulrich]], historian and professor at Harvard University. Thatcher Ulrich's original statement, &quot;Well-behaved women seldom make history&quot;, appeared in an academic article published in 1976. The use of the phrase in her original article, which concerned well-behaved women commemorated in Puritan funeral sermons, was commenting on how the domestic, 'ordinary' lives of historical women has not been widely known or studied deeply by historians. 
** See: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2007/09/ulrich-explains-that-well-behaved-women-should-make-history/

* '''&quot;Well, that escalated quickly.&quot;'''
** Was said by Ron Burgundy following a fight with local anchormen. The correct quote is &quot;Boy, that escalated quickly&quot;.
**See: [[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy]]

* '''&quot;Please, Sir, can I have some more?&quot;'''
** Commonly thought to be said by ''[[Oliver Twist]]'' in the parish workhouse. The correct quote is &quot;Please, Sir, I want some more&quot;.

* &quot;'''The harder he works, the luckier he gets.'''&quot;
** Variations are frequently attributed to [[Donald Trump]] or his wife in interview, but the phrase originated with [[Samuel Goldwyn]] as &quot;The harder ''I'' work, the luckier I get.&quot;, but he was believed to be paraphrasing the quote below. 

* &quot;'''I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.'''&quot;
** There is no record that this was said or written by [[Thomas Jefferson]]. [http://www.monticello.org/site/research-and-collections/i-am-great-believer-luckquotation]. Its first print appearance is by F. L. Emerson in 1947.

* &quot;'''Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99, wear sunscreen.'''&quot;
** The [[w:Wear Sunscreen|Wear Sunscreen]] speech is regularly attributed to [[Kurt Vonnegut]] or [[w:Baz Luhrmann|Baz Luhrmann]], but it was originally written in 1997 as a newspaper column by [[Mary Schmich]] as a semi-parodic &quot;Guide to Life for Students&quot;.

* &quot;'''If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain.'''&quot;
** Often attributed to the prophet [[Muhammad]] but there is no evidence that he actually said this. This phrase actually originates in a retelling of the story of Muhammad by [[Francis Bacon]] in 1625: &quot;''Mahomet cald the Hill to come to him. And when the Hill stood still, he was neuer a whit abashed, but said; If the Hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet wil go to the Hill.&quot;''
** The original phrase used the term &quot;hill&quot;, but John Owen's 1643 translation used the term &quot;mountain&quot;. This phrase is often misquoted due to widespread misunderstanding of the phrase's meaning. It does not refer to &quot;going after opportunity instead of waiting for it to come to you&quot;. Its meaning translates, &quot;If one's will does not prevail, one must submit to an alternative.&quot;

* &quot;'''A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking real money.'''&quot;
** Attributed to [[Everett Dirksen]]. Dirksen occasionally used the phrase &quot;a billion here, a billion there&quot; in his speeches, but the latter appendage was apparently the work of a newspaper reporter. Dirksen noted that although he never said the whole comment, he liked the misquotation and never seriously objected to its misattribution.

* &quot;'''I will return and I will be millions.'''&quot;
** This is often attributed to Eva Perón, and indeed is on her tombstone, but [https://books.google.com/books?id=ck6bXqt5shkC&amp;pg=PA251 there is no record she said it]. The belief that she actually did is probably because she does in a José María Castiñeira de Dios poem written in her voice nearly ten years after her 1952 death. Túpac Katari, a leader of the Bolivian indigenous people's rebellion against Spanish rule, did in fact say something similar (&quot;[https://books.google.com/books?id=aekDJE3NMcsC&amp;pg=PA62 I shall die but return tomorrow multiplied ten thousandfold]&quot;) before his 1781 execution; more recently, a slave in Howard Fast's contemporary novel ''Spartacus'' says the line as he is being crucified and the line is repeated in the 1960 [[Stanley Kubrick]] film version.

* &quot;'''I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!'''&quot;
** Attributed to [[Groucho Marx]]. According to urban legend, while interviewing Marion and Charlotte Story for a 1950 episode of ''[[w:You Bet Your Life|You Bet Your Life]]'', Marx uttered the phrase in response to Charlotte, who had mothered 20 children with her husband, saying how much she loved her husband. According to surviving recordings of the episode in question, Marx actually said &quot;With each new kid, do you go around passing out cigars?&quot; Although episodes of ''You Bet Your Life'' were known to be edited for content, Marx himself denied ever saying the more risqué phrase.
**In another known episode with a child who was among 17 siblings, Groucho asked the girl what her father thought of having such a large family; when she responded that her father loves children, he replied &quot;Well, I like pancakes, but I haven't got a closet full of them!&quot; A conflation of this exchange with that of the Story family may have been the source of the more ribald misquotation.

* &quot;'''[[w:Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing|Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing.]]'''&quot;
** [[Vince Lombardi]] always insisted he had never said this, although it is close to a line he did frequently repeat: &quot;Winning isn't a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing.&quot; The actual line was spoken by former UCLA football coach Henry Russell &quot;Red&quot; Sanders.

* &quot;'''I cannot allow your ignorance, however great, to take precedence over my knowledge, however small.'''&quot;
** Versions of this are attributed to [[William James]]. A version of this was apparently spoken by [[Leonard Bacon]], although the earliest known source is from 1898, seven years after Bacon's death, and there is significant variation between the wording of these and other early sources. Bacon's great-grandson confirms a version of this quotation in his own autobiography. The misattribution to James might originate, ironically, from the 1994 book Telling the Truth about History by Joyce Appleby, Lynn Hunt, &amp; Margaret Jacob, p. 258.

* &quot;'''Good things come to those who wait.'''&quot;
** English poet [[w:Violet Fane|Violet Fane]] originally stated &quot;''All'' things come to he who waits (...) they come, but often come too late.&quot; The adage may have existed before Fane wrote it.
** It has been notably corrupted twice: first by Guinness beer in its best-known form, and by Heinz, a condiment company, as &quot;The best things come to those who wait.&quot;

* &quot;'''I can't believe [[Richard Nixon|Nixon]] won. I don't know anyone who voted for him.'''&quot; 
** Allegedly from film critic [[Pauline Kael]]. Kael did state in a December 1972 speech: &quot;I live in a rather special world. I only know one person who voted for Nixon. Where they are I don't know. They're outside my ken.&quot;
*&quot;'''We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.'''&quot; 
**Often presented as a line from the movie ''[[w:Fight Club|Fight Club]]''. Although consistent with the film's anti-consumerist philosophy, neither the quote nor any variation of it is ever uttered in the movie or the original novel. The original quote, &quot;'''Spending money you don't have for things you don't need to impress people you don't like'''&quot;, is attributed to [[Walter Slezak]] was in the 4th June 1928 Detroit Free Press (thirty years before Slezak), where the American humorist and journalist Robert Quillen, though elements of the quote appeared earlier. In that column, he defined “Americanism” as “using money you haven’t earned to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.”
**The novel does contain the line &quot;A lot of young people try to impress the world and buy too many things&quot;, and at one point in the film the character played by Brad Pitt says &quot;Working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.&quot; 
**In the Internet age the quote has been adapted as &quot;We post content that isn't ours for likes that aren't real to impress people we don't know.&quot;

* &quot;'''The British are coming'''&quot;
** [[w:Paul Revere|Paul Revere]] did not shout this phrase which is attributed to him: his mission depended on secrecy, the countryside was filled with British army patrols, and most of the Massachusetts colonists (who were predominantly English in ethnic origin) still considered themselves British. Revere's warning, according to eyewitness accounts of the ride and Revere's own descriptions, was &quot;The Regulars are coming out.&quot;&lt;ref&gt;{{cite book
|ref= harv
|last1= Revere
|first1= Paul
|others= Introduction by Edmund Morgan
|year= 1961
|title= Paul Revere's Three Accounts of His Famous Ride
|location= Boston
|publisher= Massachusetts Historical Society
|isbn=978-0-9619999-0-2
}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* '''The Shaggs are better than the Beatles.'''
** Popularly misattributed to musician and outsider music auteur [[Frank Zappa]]. The description of [[w:The Shaggs|The Shaggs]], a notoriously inept garage rock girl group from the 1960s, as being &quot;better than the Beatles&quot; was actually the work of [[Lester Bangs]]. Zappa did hold the group in high regard, despite not using the phrase.&lt;ref name=newyorker2017&gt;{{cite web|url=https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-shaggs-reunion-concert-was-unsettling-beautiful-eerie-and-will-probably-never-happen-again|title=The Shaggs Reunion Concert Was Unsettling, Beautiful, Eerie, and Will Probably Never Happen Again|first=Howard|last=Fishman|date=August 30, 2017|access-date=January 8, 2020}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* '''A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.''' ([[Samuel Goldwyn]])
** One of many quirky Goldwynisms, this is a corruption of Goldwyn's actual quote praising a friend's trustworthy nature: &quot;His verbal contract is worth more than the paper it's written on.&quot;&lt;ref&gt;Paul F. Boller, John George, ''They Never Said It'' (1990), pg. 42.&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;Carol Easton, ''The Search for Sam Goldwyn'' (1976).&lt;/ref&gt;

* '''Don't worry, be happy.'''
** Though [[Bob Marley]] had included similar sentiments in his own songs, particularly in &quot;Three Little Birds,&quot; he never recorded the song by this name. The phrase itself was coined by [[Meher Baba]]; the song by that name was written and recorded by [[w:Bobby McFerrin|Bobby McFerrin]] six years after Marley's death.

* '''Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is burning.'''
** Neither [[Howard Cosell]] nor [[w:Keith Jackson|Keith Jackson]] uttered this quote during their telecast of the [[w:1977 World Series|1977 World Series]]. The phrase &quot;the Bronx is burning&quot; originated five years earlier in an episode of ''[[w:Man Alive (British TV series)|Man Alive]]'' describing fiscal shortfalls at fire stations in the Bronx, then later misattributed to Cosell and Jackson after the World Series telecast, which featured footage of a school building burning in-between game action.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite web|last1=Flood|first1=Joe|title=Why the Bronx burned|url=https://nypost.com/2010/05/16/why-the-bronx-burned/|website=New York Post|publisher=NYP Holdings, INC.|date=16 May 2010|access-date=4 June 2016}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* '''Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.''' 
**Neither [[Elvis Costello]] nor [[Laurie Anderson]]  originated this quote.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite magazine|date=March 2008|magazine=Q|title=50 Years of Great British Music, Elvis Costello Interview|page=67|quote=Oh, God! Can I ''please'' put in print that I didn't say that! [...] It still follows me around, that one. It's probably in some book of quotations credited to me.}}&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;{{cite news |title=Getting in tune with life's bigger questions |url=https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/getting-in-tune-with-lifes-bigger-questions-20040820-gdjl2e.html |work=[[The Sydney Morning Herald]] |date=August 20, 2004 |quote=Elvis Costello famously quipped that writing about music is like dancing about architecture.}}&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref name=&quot;Keyes&quot;&gt;{{cite book |last1=Keyes |first1=Ralph |title=The Quote Verifier: Who Said What, Where, and When |date=2007 |publisher=St. Martin's |isbn=9781429906173 |page=256 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=d6JZryGvfxYC&amp;pg=PA256}}&lt;/ref&gt; Variations of the quote have appeared in print since as early as 1918 and attributed to several different people.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite web |last1=Dubner |first1=Steven J. |title=Quotes Uncovered: Dancing About Architecture |url=https://freakonomics.com/2010/12/quotes-uncovered-dancing-about-architecture/ |website=[[Freakonomics Radio|Freakonomics]] |date=December 30, 2010}}&lt;/ref&gt;

== Unsourced, unverified, or other best guesses==
:''These may not necessarily be misquotations but [[wiktionary:catchphrase|catchphrases]] from popular culture, whose formation required slight alterations to put them into context and make them [[wiktionary:memorable|memorable]].''

*'''&quot;A house that has a library in it has a soul.&quot;'''
**Attributed to Plato by [[Robert G. Ingersoll]] in &quot;The Liberty Of All&quot; (1877), but it does not appear in Plato's writings.

*'''&quot;Hell is the truth seen too late.&quot;'''
**Attributed to Thomas Hobbes in Leviathan, but it is not there.

*'''&quot;No rest for the wicked.&quot;'''
**Probably a corruption of Isaiah 57:21: &quot;There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.&quot;

*'''&quot;[[w:Lies, damned lies and statistics|Lies, damned lies and statistics]]&quot;'''
**Popularized by Mark Twain in 1906, he mistakenly attributed the phrase to Benjamin Disraeli. A variant of the phrase, which divided witnesses into &quot;liars, damned liars and experts,&quot; is first noted in late 1885, with the phrase in its best-known form, used instead to describe categories of falsehoods, in common parlance by 1891. There survives no clear evidence as to who coined the phrase in either form.

*'''&quot;[[w:For sale: baby shoes, never worn|For sale: baby shoes, never worn]].&quot;'''
**This six-word piece of flash fiction was only attributed to [[Ernest Hemingway]] decades after he died. The earliest reference to a similar phrase, in a nonfiction work (a newspaper reporting the death of a young child in 1910), notes: &quot;Baby's handmade trousers and baby's bed for sale. Never been used.&quot;

*'''&quot;I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.&quot;'''
**A quote allegedly made by Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto regarding the 1941 [[attack on Pearl Harbor|attack on Pearl Harbor]], first used in the 1970 film ''[[Tora! Tora! Tora!|Tora! Tora! Tora!]]'' and again in the 2001 film ''[[Pearl Harbor (film)|Pearl Harbor]]''. While this quote may have encapsulated his sentiments regarding the attack, there is no printed evidence to prove Yamamoto made this statement or wrote it down. 

*'''&quot;Mate, how does it feel to have dropped the World Cup?&quot;'''
**Allegedly by [[w:Steve Waugh|Steve Waugh]] to [[w:Herschelle Gibbs|Herschelle Gibbs]] when Gibbs dropped a now infamous catch that eventually assisted in South Africa being knocked out of the 1999 Cricket World Cup. Although some Australian cricketers claim they heard this exchange, Waugh himself denies it was said.

*'''&quot;Because it's there&quot;'''
**[[George Mallory]] on why he wanted to climb Mount Everest. Questions have been raised about the authenticity of this quote. It may have been invented by a newspaper reporter.

*&quot;'''It's a funny old game'''&quot;
**[[w:Jimmy Greaves|Jimmy Greaves]]' autobiography ''Greavsie'' insists that, despite this quote regularly being attributed to him, he has never used it. The misquotation may arise from a trailer for the Central Television programme ''[[w:Spitting Image|Spitting Image]]'' during the mid-1980s.

* &quot;'''Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.&quot;''' 
** This misquote hearkens back to the British [[Lord Acton]], a 19th century English historian who was commenting about tyrannical monarchs (Caesar, Henry VIII, Napoleon, various Russian tsars, etc.). Lord Acton actually wrote: &quot;Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.&quot;

* &quot;'''Beam me up, Scotty'''&quot; – [[w:James T. Kirk|James T. Kirk]]
** From the ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series#Common misquotations|Star Trek]]'' [[w:Science fiction on television|science fiction television]] series. Several variants of this occur in the series, such as &quot;Energize&quot;, &quot;Beam me aboard,&quot; &quot;Beam us up home,&quot; or &quot;Two to beam up,&quot; but &quot;Beam me up, Scotty&quot; was never said during the run of the original ''Star Trek'' series. However, the quote &quot;Beam us up, Scotty&quot; was uttered in ''[[Star Trek: The Animated Series#Captain James T. Kirk|Star Trek: The Animated Series]]''. The movie ''[[Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home#Dialogue|Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home]]'' included the closest other variation: &quot;Scotty, beam me up.&quot; [[w:James Doohan|James Doohan]], the actor who played Scotty, chose this phrase as the title of his 1996 autobiography.

*&quot;'''Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a...'''&quot; – [[w:Leonard McCoy|Leonard McCoy]]
** From the ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series#Common misquotations|Star Trek]]'' [[w:Science fiction on television|science fiction television]] series. McCoy had several lines of this sort, except that he never said &quot;damn it&quot;. Only one &quot;swear word&quot; was used on the original ''Star Trek'' series (before the movies): &quot;hell&quot;. It was most famously spoken at the end of the episode entitled &quot;City on the Edge of Forever&quot;: &quot;Let's get the hell out of here&quot; – J. T. Kirk.  The phrase, complete with &quot;damn it&quot; probably originated from Dan Ackroyd's Dr. McCoy impersonation during a skit on ''Saturday Night Live'' season 1 episode 22; although McCoy did eventually end up saying, &quot;Damn it, Jim&quot; in ''Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan'', followed directly by, &quot;what the hell's the matter with you?&quot;
** Used in ''Star Trek'' (2009).

* &quot;'''All that glistens is not gold'''&quot; / &quot;'''All that glitters is not gold'''&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]]
** Correct quote: &quot;All that glisters is not gold&quot;. Often (usually) misquoted.
** Spoken by the Prince of Morocco in ''The Merchant of Venice''
** In the opening verse to Led Zeppelin's &quot;Stairway to Heaven&quot; quotes &quot;There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold.&quot;
** The line &quot;All that is gold does not glitter&quot; is the opening of a poem in &quot;Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring&quot;, referring to the character Aragorn, who &quot;looks foul and feels fair&quot;.
** In the chorus of the Smash Mouth song &quot;All Star&quot; can be found the phrase &quot;All that glitters is gold&quot;.

* &quot;'''Blood, Sweat, and Tears'''&quot; – [[Winston Churchill]]
** Correct quote: &quot;I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.&quot; 
** The quote appeared in the book ''Metropolis'', written by Thea von Harbou (wife of ''[[wikipedia:Metropolis_%281927_film%29|Metropolis]]'' director [[wikipedia:Fritz Lang|Fritz Lang]]), first published in [[wikipedia:1926|1926]]. The text, describing Freder Fredersen as he has just finished his first day working to keep the machines of Metropolis alive, states, &quot;He tasted a salty taste on his lips, and did not know if it was from blood, sweat, or tears.&quot;
**Notes: A similar quote from Winston Churchill can be found in a recorded speech he gave to the House of Commons where he says &quot; I have never promised anything but blood, sweat and tears, now however we have a new experience. We have victory. a..a remarkable victory. A bright gleam has caught the helmets of our soldiers and warmed and cheered all our hearts.&quot;
** The song from the movie ''The Longest Day'' says: &quot; [...] Filled with hopes and filled with fears. Filled with blood and sweat and tears [...]&quot;
** ''Blood, Sweat and Tears'' is the name of the 1963 album from Johnny Cash, which inspired the name for the music group formed in 1967, and may be the source of confusion.
** ''Blood, Sweat and Tears'' is a song from South Korean boy group BTS, released in 2016.

*&quot;'''God helps those who help themselves.'''&quot;
** The saying is not Biblical, but it is an ancient proverb that shows up in the literature of many cultures, including a 1736 edition of [[Benjamin Franklin]]'s ''Poor Richard's Almanac''. &quot;There is a Rabbinic saying: &quot;One who comes to be purified is helped.&quot; which is quite similar.
**This is more or less identical to the message in one of the Aesop's fables, about a man praying to Hercules--the fable &quot;Heracles and the Driver&quot; The moral to this fable is &quot;The gods help those who help themselves&quot; This is a likely origin as the fable is well known and the moral is the closest to the actual phrase.
**The saying is also found in [[Xenophon]]'s masterpiece about Cyrus, ''Cyropaedia''.
**Pretty much the motto on the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coat_of_arms_of_Huddersfield coat of arms of Huddersfield], England 'Juvat impigros deus'. Strictly speaking, God helps the industrious, but locally translated as &quot;God helps those who help themselves&quot;.
**This is similar to the Quranic quote &quot;...Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...&quot; in Surat Al-Ra'd verse 11.

*&quot;'''Lead on, Macduff'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;Lay on, Macduff, and damned be him who first cries 'Hold! enough!'&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[Macbeth]]'')
** Use of &quot;Lead on, Macduff&quot; is documented as early as 1855. [http://www.historyhouse.co.uk/articles/macbeth.html]

* &quot;'''Bubble bubble, toil and trouble'''.&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;Double, double toil and trouble.&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[Macbeth]]'')
**&quot;Bubble bubble&quot; was popularized in the hit Disney cartoon ''[[DuckTales]]'' – &quot;Much Ado About Scrooge.&quot; The witches on the island chanted &quot;Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble. Leave this island on the double.&quot; Here, the words from the ''Macbeth'' rhyming scheme are reversed.

* &quot;'''Methinks the lady doth protest too much'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;The lady doth protest too much, methinks.&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[Hamlet]]'') 
**This quote comes from ''Hamlet'', Act 3, scene 2, line 254 (line accuracy may differ in varying versions of the play). During the time of Shakespeare, the word &quot;protest&quot; meant &quot;vow&quot; or &quot;declare solemnly&quot; rather than &quot;deny&quot;. In this manner, Gertrude is making a comment about the Player Queen's overzealous attachment to the Player King rather than a denial of guilt. The quote is Gertrude's response to Hamlet's asking her if she is enjoying the play.

* &quot;'''Money is the root of all evil'''.&quot;
** In context: &quot;For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.&quot; ([[s:Bible_(King_James)/1_Timothy#6:10|1 Timothy 6:10]]) [[s:Bible (King James)|KJV]] (''The King James Bible'')
** Many translations render what the KJV renders as &quot;the root&quot; (originally ῥίζα) as &quot;a root&quot; or &quot;at the root&quot; and &quot;all evil&quot; (πᾶς κακός) as &quot;all sorts of evil&quot; or &quot;all kinds of evil&quot;. (See also translations in [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10&amp;version=31 New International Version], [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10&amp;version=49 ''New American Standard Bible''], [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20timothy%206:10&amp;version=51 ''New Living Translation''].) All translations agree that it is the love of money, rather than money itself, that is associated with evil.

* &quot;'''Now is the winter of our discontent'''.&quot;
** In context: &quot;Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this son of York.&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[William Shakespeare#Richard III|Richard III]]'')
** Notes: This is not a misquotation but a selective quotation, because the grammar of the quotation is different from the grammar of the original, and hence the meaning may be lost on some. As misquoted, ''is'' is the main verb, and the phrase means, &quot;The winter of our discontent is happening now.&quot; In the full quote, ''is'' is an auxiliary verb and might be rephrased according to modern usage, to clarify the meaning: &quot;Now the winter of our discontent is made into a glorious summer by this sun of York.&quot; (This ''sun'' of York and not ''son'', a punning reference to the coat of arms of Edward IV.)

* &quot;'''Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well'''.&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio – a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[Hamlet]]'', Act V, Scene I)

* &quot;'''Play it again, Sam'''&quot;
** Actual quote: &quot;Play it once, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'.&quot; – [[Ingrid Bergman]] (''Casablanca'')
** Actual quote: &quot;You played it for her, you can play it for me. ... If ''she'' can stand to listen to it, ''I'' can. Play it.&quot; – [[Humphrey Bogart]] (''Casablanca'')
** The line first occurred in the Marx Brothers' film ''A Night in Casablanca'' (1946), a possible source of the misquotation.

* &quot;'''I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille'''&quot;
**Actual quote: &quot;All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up&quot; [[Gloria Swanson]] (''Sunset Boulevard'')

* &quot;'''Greed is good'''&quot;
** Actual quote: &quot;The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works.&quot; – [[w:Gordon_Gekko|Gordon Gekko]] (''Wall Street'')

* &quot;'''Someone set us up the bomb'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;Somebody set ''up us'' the bomb&quot;
** The spoken words are &quot;Someone set us up the bomb&quot; in the [http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy.com/video1.shtml flash animation], which made the phenomenon popular.
** &quot;somebody set up us the bomb&quot; is a cheat code in ''Empire Earth'' to win the game automatically.
** Notes: From a Japanese video game, ''[[Zero Wing]]'', with a very unskilled and amusing English translation. The original Japanese - ''nanimonoka niyotte bakuhatsubutsu ga shikakerareta youdesu'' - is natural and unbroken, although it conveys much greater uncertainty about what has happened. Similar to &quot;[[wikipedia:All your base are belong to us|all your base are belong to us]]&quot;, which occurs in the same game.

* &quot;'''The rest is science'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;The rest is silence&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[Hamlet]]'')
** Notes: This phrase may also be used as a play on words, or even plain prose, as when Steve Swallow, the jazz musician, said about jazz composition, &quot;Eventually, an idea always comes, and then the rest is science&quot;.

* &quot;'''To gild the lily'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;To gild refined gold, to paint the lily&quot; – [[William Shakespeare]] (''[[King John#Act IV|The Life and Death of King John]]'', Act IV, Scene II, line 13) (Shakespeare was himself playing with the Biblical story that says that one does not need to add to what God has already done for the lily (Matt 6:28) &quot;See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these&quot;.)

* &quot;'''Why don't you come up and see me sometime?'''&quot;
** Correct quote: &quot;Why don't you come up sometime and see me? I'm home every evening&quot;. – [[Mae West]] (''[[She Done Him Wrong]]'')
** She switched the word order in her next film, ''[[I'm No Angel]]'', where she says, &quot;Come up and see me sometime&quot;, without the &quot;Why don't you&quot;.
** A mechanical mouse in a [[Tom and Jerry]] cartoon repeated, &quot;Come up and see me sometime&quot;.

*&quot;'''I am not a crook'''&quot; – [[Richard Nixon]]
** Often attributed to his denial of any foreknowledge of the [[w:Watergate_scandal|Watergate]] break-in, when, in fact, the question raised in a Press Conference was about his personal finances. Nixon's response, properly worded, was: &quot;And I think, too, that I can say that in my years of public life, that I welcome this kind of examination because people have gotta know whether or not their President's a crook. Well, I'm ''not'' a crook. I've earned everything I've got&quot;.

* &quot;'''You dirty rat!'''&quot;
** Never said by [[James Cagney]] in any film. However, in ''Blonde Crazy'' (1931) he says that another character is a &quot;dirty, double-crossing rat!&quot;
** In [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/''Taxi! Taxi!''](1932) James Cagney is ready to kill a man who killed his brother, (hence the full misquote in ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'', &quot;You dirty rat, you killed my brother&quot;) and says, &quot;Come out and take it, ''you dirty yellow-bellied rat'', or I'll give it to you through the door!&quot; This would be the closest true quotation in context and wording.
** Also quoted in the 1934 [[Cole Porter]] musical ''[[Anything Goes]]''
** Also quoted in the 1990 movie ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' by the character [[Michelangelo]] in an attempt to impersonate [[James Cagney]]

* &quot;'''The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash'''.&quot;
** [[Winston Churchill]]'s personal secretary, Anthony Montague-Browne, said that although Churchill did not say this, he wished he had.

* &quot;'''A language is a dialect with a navy'''.&quot;
** Original (in [[Yiddish]]): &quot;אַ שפּראַך איז אַ דיאַלעקט מיט אַן אַרמיי און פֿלאָט„ (''A shprakh iz a dialekt mit an armey un flot'') – &quot;[[w:A language is a dialect with an army and navy|A language is a dialect with an army and navy]]&quot;.
** This was not said by [[Otto von Bismarck]] but rather by the linguist [[w:Max Weinreich|Max Weinreich]].

* &quot;'''The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality'''&quot;, ''or a variation on that''. 
** This was stated by John F. Kennedy and attributed by him to [[w:Dante|Dante]] [http://www.bartleby.com/73/1211.html]. However, in the ''[[w:Divine Comedy|Divine Comedy]]'' those who &quot;non furon ribelli né fur fedeli&quot; &amp;mdash; neither rebelled against nor were faithful to God &amp;mdash; are located directly inside the gate of Hell, a region neither hot nor cold (''Inferno'', canto 3); the ''lowest'' part of Hell, a frigid lake of ice, was for traitors.

*&quot;'''A damn close run thing'''&quot; – [[Arthur Wellesley]], the 1st Duke of Wellington, referring to his victory over [[Napoleon I of France|Napoleon]] at Waterloo.
**He actually said, &quot;It has been a damn nice thing-the nearest run thing you ever [[see|saw]]...&quot; with ''nice'' in the archaic meaning of &quot;careful or precise&quot; and not the modern &quot;attractive or agreeable&quot; or the even more archaic meaning of &quot;foolish&quot;.

*&quot;'''Do you feel lucky, punk?'''&quot; – [[Clint Eastwood]] as Harry Callahan in ''[[Dirty Harry]]''
**Correct quote plus context: &quot;Ah-ah. I know what you're thinking: 'Did he fire six shots, or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But, being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, PUNK?&quot;
**Jim Carrey's character in ''The Mask'' came closer to the correct quote: &quot;Now you have to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well... do ya... PUNKS?&quot;

&lt;div id=&quot;revolver&quot;&gt;
*&quot;'''Whenever I hear the word 'culture' I reach for my revolver.'''&quot;
**The actual quote is &quot;Wenn ich Kultur höre ... entsichere ich meinen Browning!&quot; This translates as: &quot;Whenever I hear [the word] 'culture'... I remove the safety from my Browning!&quot;
**This quote is often mistakenly attributed to leading Nazi [[Hermann Göring]], or occasionally to [[w:Julius Streicher|Julius Streicher]], a lower-ranking Nazi. This misattribution may date from the famous [[w:Frank Capra|Frank Capra]] documentaries (Why We Fight) shown to American troops before shipping out.
**In fact, it is a line uttered by the character Thiemann in Act 1, Scene 1 of the play ''Schlageter,'' written by [[w:Hanns Johst|Hanns Johst]]. The association with Nazism '''''is''''' appropriate, as the play was first performed in April 1933, in honor of [[Hitler]]'s birthday.
**Baldur von Schirach, head of the Hitlerjugend, delivered this sentence in a public speech, circa 1938. A footage of the scene, with von Schirach actually drawing his gun, appears in Frederic Rossif's documentary ''from Nürnberg to Nürnberg''.
**Notes: It is possible that this is actually a rather more felicitous phrase in translation than it is in the original. Both the original German and this English translation were juxtaposed by Howard Thomas in his review of an article by Nicholas H. Battey in the ''Journal of Experimental Biology'', December 2002, as &quot;the famous words of Hanns Johst: 'Wenn ich Kultur höre ... entsichere ich meinen Browning' – 'Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver.'&quot; 
**The phrase itself may be a play on words as the word Browning may refer to both a pistol and the English poet [[w:Robert Browning|Robert Browning]].
**Additionally it should be noted that a Browning (most likely the M1935 High-Power) is not a revolver, but a magazine-fed semi-automatic pistol. However, at the time, the word &quot;Browning&quot; was used to refer to any pistol, much as &quot;Colt&quot; is used for any revolver in westerns.
&lt;/div&gt;

*&quot;'''Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'''&quot;
**The correct quotation is &quot;Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/ Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.&quot; by [[William Congreve]] in ''The Mourning Bride'' of 1697.

*&quot;'''Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes.'''&quot;
**This quotation is usually attributed to Andrew Jackson at the [[w:Battle of New Orleans|Battle of New Orleans]].
**In fact, it originates with Colonel [[William Prescott]] commander of George Washington's Continental Army, at the [[w:Battle of Bunker Hill|Battle of Bunker Hill]]. The full quotation is, &quot;Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes. Then, '''''fire low!&quot;'''''
**Source: ''George Washington's War'' by [[w:Robert Leckie (author)|Robert Leckie]]

* &quot;'''Houston, we have a problem'''&quot;
**&lt;p&gt;This phrase, supposedly uttered by [[Apollo 13]] commander, [[w:Jim Lovell|Jim Lovell]] was, in its original rendering: &quot;Houston, we've had a problem. We've had a main B bus undervolt.&quot; However, the first notification to Houston that there was a problem was by fellow astronaut [[w:Jack Swigert|Jack Swigert]], who used almost identical words. The official NASA chronology [http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/Timeline/apollo13chron.html] lists the messages as:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;55:55:20 – Swigert: &quot;Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;55:55:28 – Lousma: &quot;This is Houston. Say again please.&quot; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;55:55:35 – Lovell: &quot;Houston, we've had a problem. We've had a main B bus undervolt.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;
**However, in the movie '''Apollo 13''', Tom Hanks says '''Houston, we have a problem,'''. [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112384/quotes?qt0476805]

* &quot;'''Kismet Hardy / Kiss me, Hardy'''&quot; – British Vice Admiral [[Horatio Nelson]]
**Nelson is rumoured to have said &quot;Kismet Hardy&quot; or &quot;Kiss me, Hardy&quot; whilst he was dying. Kismet means Fate. However, the OED gives the earliest use in the English language of &quot;kismet&quot; as 1849. On his deathbed, Nelson said ''Kiss me, Hardy'' to his Flag Captain, Thomas Masterman Hardy, but they were not his final words, and Hardy was not present at Nelson's death. Nelson's actual final words (related by HMS ''Victory'''s Surgeon William Beatty, who was with him when he died) were &quot;Thank God, I have done my duty. Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Rub, rub&quot;.

* &quot;'''The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing'''&quot; – [[Edmund Burke]]
**Probably a succinct paraphrase of a remark known to have been made by the Utilitarian philosopher [[John Stuart Mill]], in an [http://books.google.com/books?id=DFNAAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PA36&amp;dq=%22Bad+men+need+nothing+more+to+compass+their+ends,+than+that+good+men+should+look+on+and+do+nothing%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=RUh5U6qWBLSysQT0vYGAAw&amp;ved=0CEEQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Bad%20men%20need%20nothing%20more%20to%20compass%20their%20ends%2C%20than%20that%20good%20men%20should%20look%20on%20and%20do%20nothing%22&amp;f=false address at the University of St. Andrew (1 February 1867)] : '''Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.'''
**Similar in meaning to the following quote in Burke's &quot;Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents&quot;: &quot;When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.&quot;
** Also attributed to [[Alexis de Tocqueville]].

* &quot;'''We don't need no steenking badges!'''&quot; – Bandit in ''[[The Treasure of the Sierra Madre]]''
**The original quote is &quot;Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!&quot;
&lt;!-- made minor grammar change to the previous line by changing 'correct' to 'original' --&gt;
**This quote is actually from the film ''Blazing Saddles'', in an obvious spoof of the original source.
***When the newly recruited Mexican Bandits are presented badges for their participation in the upcoming raid on the town of Rock Ridge, the leader responds with: &quot;Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.&quot;
&lt;!-- I confirmed this quote on the IMDb (Internet Movie Database), and it is listed under their &quot;Memorable Quotes from Blazing Saddles&quot; page, which is at the following address: --&gt;
&lt;!-- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/quotes --&gt;
**The line was again misquoted in the movie ''[[w:The Ninth Configuration|The Ninth Configuration]]'', in which a group of mental patients spend their time playing a game called &quot;Famous Lines from Famous Movies&quot; where one person quotes a line and the rest must identify the movie.
**This is also quoted in the [[Weird Al Yankovic]] film ''[[UHF]]'', with 'badges' replaced with 'badgers'.
**A variant of this line is used by the Decepticon, [[w:Starscream|Starscream]], in the ''[[Transformers]]'' episode &quot;Ghost in the Machine&quot;, in which he says, &quot;Passes? We don't need to show you no stinking passes!&quot;

* &quot;'''Spare the rod, spoil the child'''&quot;
** There are numerous proverbs dealing with the subject of discipline in child rearing, but this is the closest: &quot;He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.&quot; – [[Bible]] (King James Version), Proverbs 13:24
** This quote can be found in &quot;Hudibras&quot; by Samuel Butler, a poem in the 1600s

* &quot;'''Crisis? What crisis?'''&quot; – British Prime Minister [[James Callaghan]]
** This was a headline from ''[[The Sun (United Kingdom)|The Sun]]'' newspaper (11 January 1979) referring to Callaghan's reply at an improvised press conference. Asked &quot;What is your general approach, in view of the mounting chaos in the country at the moment?&quot;, Callaghan replied &quot;Well, that's a judgment that you are making. I promise you that if you look at it from outside, and perhaps you're taking rather a parochial view at the moment, I don't think that other people in the world would share the view that there is mounting chaos.&quot;

* &quot;'''Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.'''&quot;
** This quote is often attributed to [[Sigmund Freud]] to show that even that a famous psychoanalyst can admit that not everything has a profound meaning; however, no variation of this quote ever appears in his writings. It appears to have been falsely attributed to him several years after his death.[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/08/12/just-a-cigar/]
** An alternative from Rudyard Kipling, from his poem &quot;The Betrothed&quot;:
&lt;blockquote&gt;
:&quot;A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
:And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.&quot;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;

* &quot;'''Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.'''&quot;
** Often attributed to [[Francis of Assisi]], the origin of this quote is unknown.

* &quot;'''Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.'''&quot;
** Often attributed to [[Winston Churchill]] ([http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/quotes-falsely-attributed]). The phrase originated with [[François Guizot]] (1787-1874): &quot;Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head.&quot; It was revived by French Premier [[Georges Clemenceau]] (1841-1929): &quot;Not to be a socialist at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head.&quot;
** Referenced in ''[[Swimming with Sharks]]'' (1994) as &quot;if you're not a rebel by the age of 20, you've got no heart, but if you haven't turned establishment by 30, you've got no brains.&quot;

* &quot;'''I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a beer.'''&quot;
** Correctly, according to the book [[w:light my fire (book)|''Light My Fire'']] by fellow Doors member [[w:Ray Manzarek|Ray Manzarek]], [[Jim Morrison]] was in fact singing &quot;I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a '''beard'''&quot;, as the song allegedly tells of [[Jim Morrison|Morrison]] waking up after 3 weeks of [[wiktionary:narcotics|drug]]-induced sleep.
** The line &quot;I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer&quot; was inspired by [[w:Alice Cooper|Alice Cooper]]. He and Morrison were talking at the recording studio just before Jim went to record this song. He asked Alice about his day and he responded &quot;Ehh.. Woke up this morning.... got myself a beer.&quot; Morrison decided to use the line in the song. Repeated in many interviews with Alice Cooper over the years. [http://www.uncut.co.uk/news/the_doors/news/11838]

*'''Let them eat cake.'''
** This was never said by [[w:Marie Antoinette|Marie Antoinette]]. [[w:Jean-Jacques Rousseau|Jean-Jacques Rousseau]], in his 1783 autobiography ''Confessions'', relates that &quot;a great princess&quot; is said to have advised, with regard to starving peasants, &quot;S'ils n'ont plus de pain, qu'ils mangent de la brioche,&quot; commonly translated as &quot;If they have no bread, let them eat cake!&quot; It has been speculated that he was actually referring to Maria Theresa of Spain. (Rousseau's manuscript was written in 1767, when Marie Antoinette was only 12 and would not marry the future Louis XVI for another three years.)

*'''You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!'''
** While [[w:Jack Nicholson|Jack Nicholson]] indeed says the second part of this line in the film ''[[A Few Good Men]]'', the correct dialogue sequence is: &quot;You want answers?&quot; &quot;I want the truth!&quot; &quot;You can't ''handle'' the truth!&quot; Cruise's character, in response to being asked if he wants answers, responds that he thinks he is entitled; asked again if he wants answers, Cruise states that he wants the truth. This sets off the monologue from Nicholson that begins with &quot;You can't ''handle'' the truth!&quot; This misquotation is commonly used in parodies of the scene, including twice on ''[[The Simpsons]]''.

*'''Hello, Clarice.'''
** This line, while occasionally used in parodies of the film ''[[The Silence of the Lambs]]'', was never once used in the film itself. However, Anthony Hopkins's character, [[w:Hannibal Lecter|Hannibal Lecter]], ''does'' at one point utter a similar phrase of &quot;Good evening, Clarice.&quot; On the other hand in the sequel ''[[Hannibal (film)|Hannibal]]'', when the doctor answers Detective Pazzi's cell phone, just before he pushes him off the library balcony, Dr. Lecter greets Agent Starling with the following, &quot;Is this Clarice? Well, hello Clarice...&quot;

*'''Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into'''
** Attributed to [[w:Oliver Hardy|Oliver Hardy]], and often said after another one of [[w:Stan Laurel|Stan Laurel]]'s mistakes.
**The actual quote was &quot;Well, here's another '''nice''' mess you've gotten me into!&quot;, which was said in the 1930's short ''[[w:The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case|The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case]]'', but there were several variations in subsequent films. The short, which followed ''The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case'', was ''[[w:Another Fine Mess|Another Fine Mess]]'', which is presumably the source. 
** Ray Stevens later recorded a song that quoted &quot;Here's another fine mess you've gotten me into / another fine mess, ah well, what else is new.&quot; 
** Actually, first written by W. S. Gilbert in the 1885 operetta, &quot;The Mikado&quot; ([https://archive.org/details/mikadolibrettoof00sulluoft/page/36 libretto], see act II, 1st dialogue line after the song &quot;See how the Fates their gifts allot&quot;). The original line is &quot;Well, a nice mess you've got us into, ...&quot; spoken by the character Ko-Ko to Pooh-Bah, in reaction to a lie the two of them, and another character, have told to get out of trouble, but which has resulted in them getting into even more. The ubiquitous popularity of some of Gilbert &amp; Sullivan's works (specifically &quot;The Mikado&quot; and &quot;HMS Pinafore&quot;) has led to any number of phrases from their operettas entering into the common lexicon, frequently no longer recognized as quotes (see [https://www.gsarchive.net/mikado/html/mikado_by_mencken.html this review] by H. L. Mencken of the Baltimore Evening Sun, November 29, 1910, or [https://gsarchive.net/pinafore/html/pinafore_by_mencken.html this one], same journalist, same paper, 1911).

*'''I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole court's out of order!'''
**Actual quote: ''&quot;You're'' out of order! ''You're'' out of order! The whole ''trial'' is out of order! '''''They're''''' out of order!&quot;
**Character of Arthur Kirkland in ''[[...And Justice for All (film)|...And Justice for All]]'' in response to Judge Rayford saying &quot;Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order.&quot; 

* '''I am the devil, and I have come to do the devil's work.'''
** Usually misattributed to [[Charles Manson]], in regard to the murders at the home of Sharon Tate. Manson was not present at any of the murders known to have been committed by his followers. The actual phrase, though not as said above, was uttered by [[w:Charles &quot;Tex&quot; Watson|Charles &quot;Tex&quot; Watson]] to Wojciech &quot;Voytek&quot; Frykowski.
** &quot;I'm the devil, and I'm here to do the devil's work&quot; is spoken by the character Otis ([[w:Bill Moseley|Bill Moseley]]) in [[Rob Zombie]]'s film ''[[The Devil's Rejects]]'', most likely as a tribute or homage of some kind to the original quote.
** Actual quote: &quot;I'm the devil, I'm here to do the devil's ''business.'' Give me all your money.&quot;

* '''Music hath/has charms to soothe the savage beast.'''
** A misquotation of William Congreve's play, ''The Mourning Bride'', (1697).
** Actual quote: &quot;Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast. To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak.&quot;
** See Wikipedia listing for [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Congreve_(playwright)#.22Music_hath_charms_to_soothe_a_savage_breast.22 William Congreve]

* '''Only the Dead have seen the end of War.'''
** Attributed to Plato, but actually written by George Santayana in his ''The Life of Reason'' (1953). It was first misquoted in one of retired general Douglas MacArthur's farewell speeches and then crept into popular use.

*''' &quot;A rose by any other name smells just as sweet.&quot;'''
** Actual quote: &quot;What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.&quot;
** Act II, scene ii of William Shakespeare's ''Romeo and Juliet''
** Captain Kirk misquotes the line in the original ''Star Trek'' series episode &quot;By Any Other Name&quot;.

*'''Where art thou Romeo?'''
**The correct line (with context) is: &quot;O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?/Deny thy father and refuse thy name./Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,/And I'll no longer be a Capulet.&quot; Juliet is not asking ''where'' Romeo is, she is asking ''why'' he is called Romeo.
**Act II, scene ii of the original Shakespeare
** Romeo's last name, Montague, means he is supposed to be bitter enemies with Juliet's family, the Capulets and so Juliet is asking him to renounce his name. 

*''' &quot;If you build it, they will come&quot;'''
** Actual quote: &quot;If you build it, he will come&quot; from ''[[w:Field of Dreams|Field of Dreams]]''.
** Possibly a confusion of the ''Wayne's World 2'' quote &quot;If you book them, they will come.&quot; Said by the spirit of Jim Morrison.

*''' &quot;'Step into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly.&quot;'''
** Actual quote: &quot;Will you walk into my parlor?&quot; said the spider to the fly&quot; from &quot;[[w:The Spider and the Fly (poem)|The Spider and the Fly]]&quot;.
** Also referenced on the song &quot;Spider to the Fly&quot; by the Paper Chase

*'''&quot;Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think&quot;'''
** Actual quote: &quot;Brain: An apparatus with which we think that we think&quot; from [[Ambrose Bierce]]'s ''[[The Devil's Dictionary]]''

* '''&quot;Nul points&quot;'''
** The French phrase is often attributed to the annual [[w:Eurovision Song Contest|''Eurovision Song Contest'']] in the media and elsewhere, most notably in the episode of ''[[Father Ted]]'', &quot;[[w:Song for Europe (Father Ted)|Song for Europe]]&quot;. However, only points from one to twelve (''un – douze'') are given during the song contest. The phrase refers to the final score after a country has received no votes at all.

* &quot;'''Mirror, mirror, on the wall...'''&quot; – The Queen in ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]''
**There is no correct source for this quotation, because it originates in a folk tale, and therefore by definition has no author and no known source. The 1937 film has &quot;Magic mirror on the wall&quot; (followed by &quot;who is the fairest one of all?&quot; and, later in the film, &quot;who ''now'' is the fairest one of all?&quot;). The Grimms' version of the story has &quot;Spieglein, Spieglein, an der Wand, Wer ist die Schönste im ganzen Land?&quot; (literally: &quot;Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most beautiful in the whole country?&quot;) – but of course the Snow White story existed before the Grimms collected it.

* &quot;'''Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman, Be him alive or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.'''&quot;
**Should this be quoting from [[Joseph Jacobs]]' ''English Fairy Tales'' it should say &quot;Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of Englishman, Be him alive or be he dead, I'll have his bones to grind my bread.&quot;

&lt;div id=&quot;IamYourFather&quot;&gt;
* '''Luke, I am Your Father''' – [[w:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] in ''Star Wars Episode V: [[The Empire Strikes Back]]''
**The correct quote is:
***Darth Vader:    Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. 
***Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! 
***Darth Vader:    '''No. ''I'' am your father.'''
***Luke Skywalker: No... that's not true! That's impossible!

*'''Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.'''
**A misquotation from the poem &quot;The Rime of the Ancient Mariner&quot; by [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] (1834).
**Actual quote: Water, water, every where, / And all the boards did shrink; / Water, water, every where, / Nor any drop to drink.

*'''&quot;Brace yourself, winter is coming&quot;'''
**Attributed to Eddard (Ned) Stark (a character from George R. R. Martin's book series 'A Song of Ice and Fire'), but never in the series does he say the two phrases sequentially.

* '''&quot;And I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!&quot;'''
** Commonly attributed to various [[Scooby-Doo]] villains after being apprehended and unmasked at the end of the mystery.
** This quote is a pastiche of the various lines delivered by villains. Some villains would come close to uttering the line but would substitute &quot;meddlers&quot; or &quot;blasted kids&quot; or some variation. Some villains would use the &quot;meddling kids&quot; part but only a part of the rest of the line. Many villains remained silent upon arrest. 
** Frequent use of such a quote first began to appear in ''A Pup Named Scooby-Doo'', where in almost every episode, the villains being arrested would say it, but refer to the gang as &quot;pesky kids,&quot; rather than meddling. The &quot;meddling&quot; variation did begin to get used (and parodied) frequently in newer productions such as the direct-to-video movies, ''What's New, Scooby-Doo?'' and ''Scooby-Doo, Mystery Incorporated'', including commercials such as Direct TV.

* '''&quot;There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way.&quot;'''
** Commonly attributed to Buddha, but not said by him. The source is likely to be either modern Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, or Calvinist clergyman Abraham Johannes Muste. The phrase appears in Thich Nhat Hanh's writings; but it also appears in a volume of US Senate hearings from 1948, when Thich Nhat Hanh had not yet been ordained as a monk. Muste is known to have used a variant of the phrase – &quot;'peace' is the way&quot; in 1967, but this was not the first time he had used it, and he had a connection with the 1948 hearing. (Citation is at fakebuddhaquotes.com/there-is-no-path-to-happiness-happiness-is-the-path/)

* ''&quot;'''Eppur Si Muove (And Yet it Moves''').&quot;''
** While attributed to Galileo during his trial with the Inquisition, there is no actual evidence to support the claim that he actually made this statement.

* '''&quot;Lights, Camera, Action.&quot;'''
** Has never actually been used as a standard cadence in film-making. The call of &quot;lights&quot; would refer to burning lights, which had to actually be prepared, and then lit to function, and they would be irrelevant in modern times. There is no evidence that a call of &quot;camera&quot; was ever used at all: the call from the camera operator would be &quot;speed&quot;, indicating that the film in the camera had reached the correct speed for filming.

* '''&quot;That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind&quot;'''
**Said by Neil Armstrong while walking on the moon. 
**Due to static interference during transmission Armstrong's message was misinterpreted and consequently has been misquoted. Armstrong actually said, &quot;That's one small step for '''''a''''' man, one giant leap for mankind.&quot;

* '''&quot;640k ought to be enough for anyone.&quot;'''
** There is no reference to this ever being said by [[Bill Gates]] [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/09/08/640k-enough/]. The earliest reference to Gates saying something like this appeared in the 1985 (not 1981) issue of ''InfoWorld'' magazine, and was regretful of the past rather than predictive of the future: &quot;When we set the upper limit of PC-DOS at 640K, we thought nobody would ever need that much memory.&quot; Even this was without a precise reference and not part of an interview. The quote bears similarity to one by [[Bob Newhart]]: &quot;Later, I moved up to the 64 KB model (referring to the [[w:Commodore 64|Commodore 64]] personal computer) and thought that was silly because it was more memory than I would ever possibly need.&quot;&lt;ref name=&quot;colker20010809&quot;&gt;{{cite news | url=http://articles.latimes.com/2001/aug/09/news/tt-32244 | title=Happy Birthday PC! | work=Los Angeles Times | date=2001-08-09 | accessdate=9 January 2015 | author=Colker, David}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* '''&quot;Do you want to play a game?&quot;'''
** Does not appear in any of the ''[[Saw (franchise)|Saw]]'' film series. Jigsaw's catchline is &quot;''I'' want to play a game.&quot;
** The question &quot;Shall we play a game?&quot; is said by the computer in the movie ''[[w:WarGames|WarGames]]''.

* '''Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.'''
**This may be the most famous aviation quote that is not verifiable. It is attributed everywhere (including in some Smithsonian publications and the ''Washington Post'') to Leonardo da Vinci. The probable author is [[w:John H. Secondari|John Hermes Secondari]] (1919-1975), who was a writer for the 1965 TV documentary '''''I, Leonardo da Vinci'''''. There is a more detailed [[Talk:Leonardo_da_Vinci#Once_you_have_tasted_flight|discussion of this on the Leonardo da Vinci &quot;Talk&quot; page]].

* '''Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.'''
**Often attributed to [[w:Lord Kelvin|Lord Kelvin]], sometimes to [[w:Lord Rayleigh|Lord Rayleigh]] or [[Simon Newcomb]]. It is a fact that Kelvin did not believe in heavier-than air flight [http://zapatopi.net/kelvin/quotes/], but there is no reliable source that he or another physicist from 19th century said it was impossible from a scientific point of view.
**The oldest known source is the book from Chris Morgan ''Facts and fallacies: a book of definitive mistakes and misguided predictions'' (1981)

* '''Good Morning, Dave.'''
**Attributed to [[w:HAL 9000|HAL 9000]] (a character in the movies ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' and ''2010'') but is never actually spoken by it. Two quotes of HAL 9000 that are very similar to the misquotation are ''Hello, Dave.'' in ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' and ''Good Morning, Dr. Chandra.'' in ''2010''.
* '''Rivers of Blood.'''
**Enoch Powell, the controversial British politician, in the 1960s made a speech referring to the supposed dangers of immigration, which has always been known as the Rivers of Blood speech, but the actual words included &quot;the River Tiber foaming with blood.&quot;

*'''Are you aware that [[w:Claude Pepper|Claude Pepper]] is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, he has a brother who is a known homo sapiens, and he has a sister who was once a thespian in wicked New York. Worst of all, it is an established fact that Mr. Pepper, before his marriage, habitually practiced celibacy.'''
**Attributed to [[w:George Smathers|George Smathers]]. Smathers never made this speech, nor did he express any such sentiment. The speech, which uses wordplay that would dupe a poorly educated or passive listener into thinking Pepper was part of a family of sexual perverts, was already a sort of urban legend circulating by the time ''Time'' magazine first placed it in print in 1950.

*'''Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.'''
**Supposedly the last words of Mexican Revolutionary military leader [[Pancho Villa]] following his 1923 assassination. However, most accounts of that event say that he died instantly, without any time to say ''anything''.

*'''That's where the money is.'''
**[[w:Willie Sutton|Willie Sutton]] regularly denied, for the rest of his life, having given this answer to a reporter's question about why he robbed banks, and it is believed to have been the reporter's invention. Those denials did not, however, deter Sutton from titling his 1976 autobiography ''Where the Money Was'', which may have led people to believe he ''did'' say it.

*'''I may be drunk, Bessie, but you are ugly, and tomorrow I shall be sober.'''
**There is no record of Churchill making this comeback, often attributed to him, to [[w:Bessie Braddock|Bessie Braddock]]; similar versions of the story involving other public figures of the era circulated before it became attached to him.

*'''The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.'''
**While often attributed to the [[Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington|Duke of Wellington]] on a visit to his alma mater later in life, historians consider it unlikely that he said. It was only first said to have been said by him four decades after the battle, after he had died; in addition he had not spent much time at Eton and did not recall those years fondly. Biographers familiar with his style of speaking also consider it doubtful that, had he expressed a sentiment like that, he would have expressed it that way.

*'''The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.'''
**This quote has been attributed to several sources, including Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain. It may have first appeared in Rita Mae Brown's book, ''Sudden Death'', published in January 1983. [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/insanity_is_doing_the_same_thing_and_expecting_different_results/ barrypopik.com] [https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/200907/the-definition-insanity-is psychologytoday.com]

*'''The people of this country have had enough of experts.''' - [[Michael Gove]], in interview with Faisal Islam on June 3, 2016.
**Gove did not end his sentence here; he was interrupted by the interviewer [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGgiGtJk7MA]. The full quote is: &quot;The people of this country have had enough of experts from organizations with acronyms, saying that they know what is best, and getting it consistently wrong.&quot; By eliding the latter part of the sentence, his opponents could argue that he had referred to experts as a whole, rather than to a particular behavior in which experts engaged.

*'''Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.''' – [[wikipedia:Brooke Shields|Brooke Shields]]
**Actual quote: &quot;Do you want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing.&quot; From a television commercial for [[wikipedia:Calvin Klein (company)|Calvin Klein Jeans]].

*'''This is not madness. This is Sparta.''' - Gerald Butler as Leonidas in 300 (2007).
**Actual quote: &quot;..Madness? This is Sparta.&quot; The phrase &quot;This is not madness&quot; is never spoken in the scene. A misquoted reference to this phrase appeared in the English translation of ''Phoenix Wright 3: Trials and Tribulations''.

*'''Your princess is in another castle.''' - Super Mario Brothers (1985).
**Actual quote: &quot;Thank you, Mario, but ''our'' princess is in another castle.&quot; The quote is spoken by a regular Mushroom citizen who Mario rescues from Bowser's castle in all Worlds prior to World 8, and uses &quot;our&quot; because she is the princess of the Mushroom people. The line is not implying Mario's entitled ownership of the princess, nor is it a romantic rejection, and at least in the original game no romance between Mario and the princess is ever implied.

*'''Imagine, if you will.''' - The Twilight Zone (1959-1964).
**Host and narrator [[Rod Serling]] frequently asked viewers to &quot;imagine&quot; when describing the setting for an episode, but he never spoke this exact phrase on the series, though it is often attributed to him.

{{misattributed end}}

== Commonly misquoted ==
=== People ===
{{refimprove|section}}
Because they are well-known wits, sages, or villains, certain people are commonly given credit for statements they are not known to have made. Among the more commonly falsely credited authors are the following:

* [[Yogi Berra]]
* [[Otto von Bismarck]]
* [[Albert Camus]]
* [[George Carlin]]
* [[Winston Churchill]]
* [[Confucius]]
* [[Albert Einstein]]
* [[Benjamin Franklin]]
* [[Bill Gates]]
* [[Samuel Goldwyn]]
* [[Adolf Hitler]]
* [[Bruce Lee]]
* [[Abraham Lincoln]]
* [[Napoleon Bonaparte]]
* [[Dorothy Parker]]
* [[Dan Quayle]]
* [[William Shakespeare]]
* [[George Bernard Shaw]]
* [[John Steinbeck]]
* [[Henry David Thoreau]] [http://www.walden.org/Library/Quotations/The_Henry_D._Thoreau_Mis-Quotation_Page]
* [[Mark Twain]]
* [[Kurt Vonnegut]]
* [[Oscar Wilde]]

{{misattributed end}}

== References ==
&lt;references /&gt;


[[Category:Lists|misquotations]]

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== Unsourced and dubious/overly modern sources ==
:'''&lt;small&gt;Einstein is one of those major iconic figures to whom many statements become attributed; unsourced attributions to him should usually be treated with some skepticism, and ''often'' a great deal of it. &lt;/small&gt;'''

''Please put unsourced quotes in alphabetical order for convenience.''

* A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
** Probably not real, earliest published version I found was [http://books.google.com/books?id=O5TzAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor this one from 1997], but it seems to have been on the internet slightly before that, see [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.med.dentistry/msg/6202046e40e97565?hl=en this post from 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:17, 30 November 2011 (UTC). However in his 1986 college text book 'Tools for Thinking and Problem Solving', Moshe Rubinstein states &quot;It has been said that a smart person manages to escape from unpleasant situations that a wise person would avoid in the first place&quot; - a similar general meaning, with the similarity of names ( Rubinstein vs Einstein ) perhaps explaining the misattribution.

* A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
** Earliest published source I could find was the 1993 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=1vNOAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22when+he+can+live+outside%22#search_anchor Zen and the Art of Making a Living] by Laurence G. Boldt, p. 100. Was on the internet before that, as in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.simpsons/msg/869967c8d58e3af7?hl=en this post from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:01, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy.
** Earliest published source I find is the 2003 book ''Albert Einstein'' by Dana Meachen Rau, [http://books.google.com/books?id=WjOj27pXPnEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT20#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 19]. But it appeared on the internet before that, earliest one I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/e13cc61034bf20ed this post from 5 January 1993]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:11, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
**Not a lot of sources for this, see the search [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22any+fool+can+know%22+einstein&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 here], oldest one seems to be [http://books.google.com/books?id=XlEZAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22any+fool+can+know%22#search_anchor Precalculus mathematics in a nutshell: geometry, algebra, trigonometry] by George Finlay Simmons, from 1981. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:14, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” - saw this on my Facebook today, and it's widely repeated on the web, with no good source. --[[User:Slashme|Slashme]] ([[User talk:Slashme|talk]]) 15:18, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
**Earliest source I see on google books that attributes it to Einstein is the 2002 book ''More Sex Talk'' by James Wolfe, [http://books.google.com/books?id=hZR9bd-PJ1oC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA91#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 91]. I did find earlier sources which give the same quote but without attributing it to Einstein (I did an [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22kiss+the+attention+it+deserves%22 advanced google books search for &quot;kiss the attention it deserves&quot;] with the date range of 1900 - 2002), like the [http://books.google.com/books?id=ouvzTy3AD9AC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PR4#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false 1968 book] ''20,000 Quips and Quotes'' by Evan Esar, [http://books.google.com/books?id=ouvzTy3AD9AC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA452#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 452], or ''American Gas Journal'' vol. 184 from 1957, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=tAonAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22kiss+the+attention+it+deserves%22#search_anchor this snippet from p. 155]. [http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=36814 This post] from the snopes.com board claims to give a bunch of much earlier sources where the quote wasn't attributed to Einstein, but I can't check if the attributions to various newspapers below are actually accurate:
**[Tennessee Ernie Ford] notes that the man who can drive while kissing a pretty girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. [From Larry Wolters's &quot;Radio TV Gag Bab,&quot; The Chicago Daily Tribune, 3 April 1955, Pg. H16.]
**The current edition of the Hudson Motor Car Co.'s Newsletter contains the information that this safety-first sign appears on the Alaska Highway: &quot;The man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From &quot;Personal Notes,&quot; The Washington Post, 24 December 1951, Pg. B8.]
**Braddock Motor hints: Never allow a girl to kiss you when you are out driving with her, for if she can drive a car while kissing you, she's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. [The Pittsburgh Courier, 24 November 1928, Pg. 6.]
**&quot;Do you allow Jack to kiss you when you're out motoring with him?&quot; &quot;Never. If a man can drive safely when kissing me, then he's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From The Pittsburgh Courier, 15 January 1927, Pg. 3.]
**One of our fluffy flappers allows no kissing when she is out riding. She says a man cannot drive a car and give the kiss the attention it deserves. [From &quot;Pen Points,&quot; The Los Angeles Times, 12 June 1924, Pg. A4.]
**Dorcas -- &quot;Do you ever allow a man to kiss you when you're out motoring with him? Philippa -- &quot;Never. If a man can drive safely while kissing me, he is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From &quot;Safety First,&quot; which appeared in an automotive supplement to the Southtown [Chicago] Economist, 12 March 1924, Pg. 24.] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 17:45, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

* Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
** Earliest sources on [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22never+made+a+mistake+has+never+tried%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202000&amp;num=10 this search] are from 1999, but it appears on the internet before that, like [http://groups.google.com/group/k12.chat.teacher/msg/49ed480adda6444b?hl=en this post from 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:38, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.
** Earliest variant I find is &quot;As the area of light increases so does the circumference of darkness&quot; in the 1971 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=JINMdY2LPJQC&amp;q=%22circumference+of+darkness%22#search_anchor Cell and Molecular Biology] by Eugene Rosenberg, p. 199. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:42, 30 November 2011 (UTC) 

* Before God we are all equally wise, equally foolish.
** Appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=UpPuAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22before+god%22#search_anchor Albert Einstein: Maker of Universes] from 1939 on p.80, but doesn't look like original source is mentioned. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:37, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Creativity is intelligence having fun.

* Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
** Earliest published source I found attributing it to Einstein is the 2000 book ''What every principal would like to say-- and what to say next time: quotations for leading, learning, and living'' by Noah benShea, [http://books.google.com/books?id=VDmwarh318UC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA94#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 94]. Quote itself is a lot older though, for example ''Love, medicine, &amp; miracles'' by Bernie S. Siegel, from 1986, has this exact quote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=4PdYgcy8ZM8C&amp;q=%22coincidence+is+god%27s+way+of+remaining+anonymous%22#search_anchor p. 214]. There are other variants before that, like in ''I Hurt Too Much for a Band-Aid'' by Kenneth J. Olson and Helen Lovell from 1980, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Pkf5WBoHOdcC&amp;q=%22A+coincidence+is+when+God+performs+a+miracle+and+chooses+to+remain+anonymous%22#search_anchor p. 111] &quot;A coincidence is when God performs a miracle and chooses to remain anonymous&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:00, 1 December 2011 (UTC) CS Lewis &quot;Coincidence is a miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.&quot;??--[[Special:Contributions/66.190.141.195|66.190.141.195]] 14:20, 7 March 2017 (UTC)

* Every day, man is making bigger and better foolproof things, and every day, Nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think Nature is winning.
** Alternate: ''There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning.''
** Zero hits for &quot;Nature is making bigger and better fools&quot; on google books. Earliest internet post I find with &quot;Nature is making bigger and better fools&quot; is [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.climbing/msg/b6bc36bee0488e5f?hl=en this one from Dec 1999], but the rest of it is different and it doesn't say anything about Einstein. The next-earliest one I find is at the bottom of [http://groups.google.com/group/ne.politics/msg/4e3512a718d8872b?hl=en this one from Dec 2000], which has the full quote as above and it's attributed to Einstein. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:17, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** By [[Rick Cook]] (1989): &quot;Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.&quot; --[[User:Traal|Traal]] ([[User talk:Traal|talk]]) 23:51, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

* Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
** Searching google books for &quot;example&quot;, &quot;isn't another way to teach&quot; and &quot;only way to teach&quot;, earliest instances are two books from 2002, [http://books.google.com/books?id=DV917BZ9RAgC&amp;q=example+%22isn%27t+another+way+to+teach%22+%22only+way+to+teach%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=thXROEHqJ0MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA121#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false here]. Neither gives a source, and I didn't see a source in later books, so probably not trustworthy. As usual the original source is probably the internet since searching google groups shows posts using the quote before that, earliest one I found was at the bottom of [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.object/msg/d7ff246f504a2107 this one from June 1998]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:27, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
** As quoted in ''The Rhythm of Life : Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose'' (2004) by Matthew Kelly, p. 80

* I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It's because of them I did it myself
** This is being attributed to Einstein on the Internet, but it appears to come from Wayne W. Dyer's book You'll See It When You Believe It, page 54, according to Google Books. Dyer does not attribute it to Einstein, but mentions Einstein in the same paragraph. 
*** In my office I have two framed posters. One is a picture of Albert Einstein, beneath which are the words &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent oppostion from mediocre minds.&quot; The other poster is made up solely of words: &quot;I am grateful to all those people who said no. It is because of them I did it myself.&quot; Great thoughts!
** Apparently someone misread this and thought the quote was from Einstein. I don't know who was the first to do this. [[User:Imaid|Imaid]] ([[User talk:Imaid|talk]]) 23:47, 12 March 2012 (UTC)

* I believe no woman could have invented calculus.
** Zero published examples, and only two on [http://groups.google.com/ google groups]...I wonder if someone just made this one up to add to the wikiquote unsourced list (it was added in [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;action=historysubmit&amp;diff=438804&amp;oldid=437523 this edit from 25 March 2007], by a user whose [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/143.160.124.41 only wikiquote contributions] were adding this quote and bolding a few others). Searching for variants on google books did turn up a quote by someone called Edward Jewitt Wheeler, who in 1908 ''Current Literature'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=bpLPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA554#v=onepage&amp;q=%22no%20woman%20ever%20invented%20a%20calculus%22&amp;f=false wrote] &quot;No woman ever invented a calculus&quot;, but this is such an obscure source that I doubt it's the inspiration. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:40, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I could burn my fingers that I wrote that first letter to Roosevelt.
** Comment after the [[w:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|bombing of Hiroshima]], regarding his letter to [[w:Franklin Delano Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] warning of the possibility of the development of a [[:w:nuclear weapon|nuclear weapon]].
** Earliest internet post I find is [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/ced0251fc262e57d?hl=en this one from 2002] where it seems to be part of a quote from a larger work, apparently [http://web.archive.org/web/19971222020745/http://myhero.com/hero.asp?hero=einstein this essay] (link is to an archived copy from 22 Dec 1997, so it's at least that old) by someone called Richard V. Duffy. [http://books.google.com/books?id=EP8S9UdrUUAC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q=%22burn%20my%20fingers%22&amp;f=false This 2002 book] is the earliest published source with the quote, but it doesn't give a source and may have just gotten it from the internet. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:59, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I didn't arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind.
**According to [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22I+didn't+arrive+at+my+understanding+of+the+fundamental+laws+of+the+universe+through+my+rational+mind%22&amp;tbo=1&amp;hl=en&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;tbs=sbd:1&amp;tbm=bks&amp;ei=amm_Ubca9qzgA4SLgMgP&amp;start=10&amp;sa=N Google Books], the earliest appearance of this quote is in the 1971 book ''Be Here Now'' by Ram Dass.

* I don't believe in mathematics.
** He's quoted saying this sometime before 1910 on p. 3 of [http://arxiv.org/abs/physics/0504179 this paper], with the reference given as [http://books.google.com/books?id=YJvvAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22believe+in+mathematics%22#search_anchor p. 21] of ''The Young Einstein'' by Lewis Pyenson. The paper talks about how his attitude towards mathematics evolved, he's also quoted at the top of p. 5 saying &quot;I have become imbued with great respect for mathematics, the subtler part of which I had in my simple-mindedness regarded as pure luxury until now.&quot; Also, more context for the &quot;don't believe in mathematics&quot; comment is given on p. 76 of ''Einstein: A Life'' by Denis Brian, where Brian writes that Einstein &quot;demonstrated his cavalier attitude toward math one afternoon in a café when he and engineer Gustave Ferriere were discussing math’s rigid rules. Einstein placed five matches on the table and asked, 'What is the total length of these five matches if each is two and a half inches long?' 'Twelve and a half inches,' Ferriere replied. 'That’s what you say,' said Einstein. 'But I very much doubt it. I don’t believe in mathematics.' &quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:31, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* I don't pretend to understand the universe — it's much bigger than I am.
** Only published example is [http://books.google.com/books?id=7KdZjp5gQAAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA36#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this one from 2008] which gives no source. Was circulating on the internet long before that, earliest post I found with it was [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.bicycles/msg/b7bc285ff250c646 this one from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:37, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I fear the day when technology overlaps our humanity. It will be then that the world will have permanent ensuing generations of idiots.
**Above quote does not appear in The Ultimate Quotable Einstein compiled by Alice Calaprice, a renowned Einstein expert and of Princeton University Press.

* I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.
** Attributed to Einstein on page 175 of Jill Bolte Taylor's ''My Stroke of Insight''. Don't think this is necessarily a reliable source though.
** No published sources earlier than ''My Stroke of Insight'', but it was on the internet long before then so she probably got it from there--earliest internet post I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/soc.motss/msg/e4fc8f3258989680 this one from 1992]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:40, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
** Earliest published source I find is the 1968 book ''Training within the organization: a study of company policy and procedures for the systematic training of operators and supervisors'' which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=K_4tAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22never+teach+my+pupils%22#search_anchor p. 126] says: &quot;It was probably in the latter sense that Professor Einstein in talking about teaching once remarked: 'I never ''teach'' my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.' &quot; No source is given, and none of the other books I saw gave a source either. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:47, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I think and think, for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
** Earliest appearance seems to be the 1939 book ''Albert Einstein: Maker of Universes'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=UpPuAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22hundredth+time%22#search_anchor p. 96]. Just says this was a comment he made to &quot;a friend&quot; so it's not clear if the author actually got a firsthand account or was just repeating a story he heard through the grapevine (this is the same book that has the unsourced &quot;Before God we are all equally wise, equally foolish&quot; quote above). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:04, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

* I think that a particle must have a separate reality independent of the measurements. That is an electron has spin, location and so forth even when it is not being measured. I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it.
** Earliest published version found is the 1999 book ''Words Fail Me'' by Patricia O'Conner, [http://books.google.com/books?id=ltjQYOpKXe0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA41#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 41]. Earliest internet post is [http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.catala/msg/ddc3a350310a327f this one from 1996]. The part about the moon is probably based on Abraham Pais' recollection in [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]], &quot;We often discussed his notions on objective reality. I recall that during one walk Einstein suddenly stopped, turned to me and asked whether I really believed that the moon exists only when I look at it.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:41, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* I want to know how God created this world. I'm not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details.
** said to be from E. Salaman, &quot;A Talk With Einstein,&quot; The Listener 54 (1955), pp. 370-371 [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/godcomments.html] [[User:Lanulos|Lanulos]] ([[User talk:Lanulos|talk]]) 19:10, 4 October 2012 (UTC)

* If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
** Earliest references I found are two from 1996, [http://books.google.com/books?id=tY3v5-6kL6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA7#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Fad Surfing in the Boardroom] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=Vek1MTCYSi8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Next Step in Database Marketing]. None of the books that I saw gave an original source for the quote. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:37, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* If I give you a penny, you will be one penny richer and I'll be one penny poorer. But if I give you an idea, you will have a new idea, but I shall still have it, too.
** Only published source found on google books with &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;penny richer&quot; is ''Open Life: The Philosophy of Open Source'' from 2006, which has it on [http://books.google.com/books?id=ZyB5dt756HQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 21]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.
** I found LOTS of attributions of this quote including many books, but I couldn't find any that gave a source.  Some references cite the ratio as 59:1.  The furthest variation I found was [http://www.gurteen.com/gurteen/gurteen.nsf/id/L004680/ here] in another quote database.  --[[User:WBTtheFROG|WBTtheFROG]] 14:40, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
** Searching on google books shows it appears in a lot of business books and books on &quot;creativity&quot; but there don't seem to be any historical or scientific ones among them. Earliest I found was the 1995 book ''Creative Problem Solving and Opportunity Finding'' by J. Daniel Cougar, where it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=nMoOAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22hour+to+save+the+world%22#search_anchor p. 178]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:57, 10 January 2012 (UTC)

* If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research.
** Variant: If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
** Earliest published variant I find attributing it to Einstein is &quot;If we knew what it was we were doing, it wouldn't be called 'research,' would it?&quot; from p. 272 of ''Natural Capitalism'' from 1999 (to see it, go to the [http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Capitalism-Paul-Hawken/dp/0316353167 amazon page] and &quot;search inside the book&quot; for the word &quot;Einstein&quot;). Was attributed to Einstein on the internet befor that though, earliest I saw was [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/msg/d9bf63d81c0eab48 this one from 26 April 1994]. And if you search google books for &quot;if we knew what we were doing&quot; and &quot;research&quot; ''without'' Einstein, you find examples that just present it as an old joke and don't mention Einstein, earliest I found was ''Yearbook of Procurement Articles'' by John Whelan from 1977, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Miq5AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=research+%22if+we+knew+what+we+were+doing%22#search_anchor p. 32] 'I have a colleague who delights in saying, &quot;If we knew what we were doing, we wouldn't need research.&quot;' And ''Organizing for Tomorrow: Reports from the Think-Tanks and the Trenches'' from 1985 has this comment on [http://books.google.com/books?id=-6wVAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22if+we+knew+what+we+were+doing%22#search_anchor p. 19]: 'I flashed back on a quote that hung in one of my old offices for several years: &quot;If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research.&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:30, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
**Another variant dates to the astronomer J. Allen Hynek in 1951: &quot;If we know the answer before we start, it wouldn't be research.&quot; [https://books.google.com/books?id=4BpMAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22it+wouldn%27t+be+research%22&amp;dq=%22it+wouldn%27t+be+research%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwih9rCnwMLtAhWoTN8KHfCLCUk4MhDoATAAegQIABAC] [[User:gmusser]]

* If one day you have to choose between the world and love, remember: If you choose the world you’ll be left without love, but if you choose love, with it you will conquer the world
** Searching for [http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=if%20one%20day%20you%20have%20to%20choose%20between%20the%20world%20and%20love if one day you have to choose between the world and love] on google gives over 300,000,000 hits; from the top hits most of them attribute the quote to Einstein, others give no attribution. I couldn't find any reputable source. The earliest reference I could find on [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?safe=off&amp;q=%22if+one+day+you+have+to+choose%22+%22einstein%22&amp;btnG=Search google groups] is from 2010. --[[User:NavarroJ|NavarroJ]] ([[User talk:NavarroJ|talk]]) 21:22, 20 November 2012 (UTC)

* If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
** Earliest published reference found is the 2003 book ''Nuggest of Wisdom from the Effendi'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=0OD4zd1HdSIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA81#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 81], earliest internet reference found is [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sources/msg/10ae7bfc62f91a13 this post from 27 April 1989].
**Perhaps a paraphrase of &quot;Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hopes of reward after death&quot;, from [[Albert_Einstein#Religion_and_Science_.281930.29|Religion and Science]] (it's at the end of the quote that begins with &quot;The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation...&quot;) Another similar one is from a 1948 interview recorded in [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29|Einstein and the Poet]] where he said &quot;What a miserable creature man would be if he were good not for the sake of being good, but because religion told him that he would get a reward after this life, and that if he weren't good he'd be punished.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* If the solution is simple, God is answering.
** Didn't find any published sources earlier than [http://books.google.com/books?id=nGJXAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22If+the+solution+is+simple%2C+God+is+answering%22#search_anchor ''Esquire: Volume 106''] (1988). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

&quot;Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.&quot;
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:81.37.67.0|81.37.67.0]] ([[User talk:81.37.67.0|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/81.37.67.0|contribs]]) 02:36, 4 August 2007  (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

:It is quoted by einstien in his book, even steve harvey mentioned it on his show! https://steveharvey.com/preview-the-coming-attractions-in-your-life/#:~:text=Albert%20Einstein%20has%20a%20famous,that%20is%20just%20for%20you.

* It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
** This was simply cited as an anonymous saying in the earliest publication which has been located: ''How to Give a Damn Good Speech: Even When You Have No Time to Prepare'' (2000) by Philip R. Theibert, [http://books.google.com/books?id=6TpgjD119qsC&amp;q=%22miracle+that+curiosity+survives%22#search_anchor p. 154]; the earliest published attribution of this to Einstein yet located is in ''House-Dreams'' (2001) by Hugh Howard, [http://books.google.com/books?id=YnteWePb4o8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA45#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 45], while it was attributed to Einstein on the internet well before that, the oldest located being [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor.funny/msg/69d10d8ec2fc733c this post from 4 August 1989]. It has since become attributed to Einstein in several publications, but without citation of an original source.
** It's a rather close paraphrase of the following from his Autobiographical Notes: &quot;It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.&quot;

* It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom.
** It is easier to disintegrate an atom than a prejudice.
** Earliest version I found is [http://books.google.com/books?id=4owgAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=prejudice#search_anchor this one from 1984], but none that I saw gave a source, I doubt it's real. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:12, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
** Earlier variant, still no source: &quot;It is a sad age when it is more difficult to break a prejudice than an atom.&quot; ''Facts Forum news, Volume 4, Issue 7'' from 1955, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=gxtUAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=difficult+prejudice+%22than+an+atom%22#search_anchor this page]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:53, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''It's become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.'''
* '''It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.'''
** As quoted in ''Voices of Truth : Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers, and Healers'' (2000) by Nina L. Diamond, p. 429; no publication of this statement has been located prior to it's use in the film ''[[Powder (film)|Powder]]'' (1995) written by [[w:Victor Salva|Victor Salva]], where it is presented as a quote of Einstein. 
**More information about this can be found in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/10/25/tech-exceeded/ this post] from [http://quoteinvestigator.com Quote Investigator] [[User:Jjjjjjjjjj|Jjjjjjjjjj]] ([[User talk:Jjjjjjjjjj|talk]]) 00:03, 21 December 2012 (UTC)


* It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.
** Earliest source I found was the 1996 book ''Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=mkikSTtru_cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA17#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 17]. But no source is given, and I don't see any other books that give a source either.  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:20, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.'''
**Over 600K hits for this phrase on google, the top 100 attributing it to Einstein (I didn't scroll through the rest), but I can't find anything pointing to a legitimate source for this quote. Any ideas? [[User:Phlar|Phlar]] ([[User talk:Phlar|talk]]) 19:21, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
** Doing an [http://groups.google.com/advanced_search advanced google groups search] for &quot;logic will get you&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; with the date range restricted to 1981-2002, earliest I found was the Oct. 14 1999 quote from Cowboy Greg [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-14351.html here]. The same search on [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22logic+will+get+you%22+einstein google books] with the date range 1900-2004 yields only two books I could confirm to have the quote inside, both from 2004, [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-O5bTIRyUoC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA123#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Machine Learning And Statistical Modeling Approaches To Image Retrieval, p. 123] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=D3S2I_rrKBkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT74#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Ode to Code], at the end of the book before the &quot;About the Author&quot; page (pages un-numbered). Probably this is one of those quotes that got its start on the internet. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:17, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
** Quote is in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by The Ultimate Quotable Einstein (Hardcover) by Freeman Dyson and Albert Einstein and Alice Calaprice on p. 481 but lists it as &quot;Attributed to Albert Einstein&quot; which was originally published in 1996. [[Special:Contributions/2602:D8:A1BF:E600:C991:6369:6CEA:C5A3|2602:D8:A1BF:E600:C991:6369:6CEA:C5A3]] 16:59, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
*** It's true it appears in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', but it appears in the &quot;Probably Not By Einstein&quot; subsection of the &quot;Attributed&quot; section, indicating that Calaprice couldn't find a source and considers it unlikely to be a real Einstein quote. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:45, 24 June 2012 (UTC)

* No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
** A bunch of pre-1950 sources for this but they all say this is something he is &quot;reported to have said&quot; without giving an exact source. Earliest I find is in ''Science News-Letter, Volume 14'' which according to the title page collects issues from [http://books.google.com/books?id=w4koAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22June+to+December%2C+1928%22#search_anchor June to December, 1928], the quote appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=w4koAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22no+amount+of+experimentation%22#search_anchor p. 52].
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' Alice Calaprice speculates on p. 291 that 'This may be a paraphrase of sentiments expressed in &quot;Induction and Deduction,&quot; December 25, 1919, CPAE, Vol. 7, Doc. 28'. ''Einstein's Unification'' by Jeroen van Dongen has a quote from the article (full English title given as &quot;Induction and Deduction in Physics&quot;) on [http://books.google.com/books?id=T8Fde0u_XyIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA44#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 44]: 'A theory can thus be recognized as erroneous if there is a logical error in its deductions, or as inadequate if a fact is not in agreement with its consequences. But the ''truth'' of a theory can never be proven. For one never knows that even in the future no experience will be encountered which contradicts its consequences; and still other systems of thought are always conceivable which are capable of joining together the same given facts.' Also, [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA18#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 18] of ''Albert Einstein, the Human Side'' has a note he wrote down on 11 Nov 1922 which expresses a basically similar idea: 'The scientific theorist is not to be envied. For Nature, or more precisely experiment, is an inexorable and not very friendly judge of his work. It never says &quot;Yes&quot; to a theory. In the most favorable cases it says &quot;Maybe,&quot; and in the great majority of cases simply &quot;No.&quot; If an experiment agrees with a theory it means for the latter &quot;Maybe,&quot; and if it does not agree it means &quot;No.&quot; Probably every theory will someday experience its &quot;No&quot;—most theories, soon after conception.' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:50, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a [[:w:vegetarian|vegetarian]] diet.
** Earliest published source I could find was [http://books.google.com/books?id=unsaGbsLC5oC&amp;q=%22benefit+human+health+and+increase+the+chances%22+einstein#search_anchor this book from 1992], earliest appearance I could find on the internet was [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.food.veg/msg/cdcabaa45f96a189?hl=en this post from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:30, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
**Perhaps a variant of this quote that appears in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice, p. 281 of my edition, in the &quot;Vegetarianism&quot; section of the &quot;On Miscellaneous Subjects&quot; chapter: &quot;Although I have been prevented by outward circumstances from observing a strictly vegetarian diet, I have long been an adherent to the cause in principle. Besides agreeing with the aims of vegetarianism for aesthetic and moral reasons, it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind.&quot; From a letter to Harmann Huth, 27 December 1930. Supposedly published in German magazine ''Vegetarische Warte'', which existed from 1882 to 1935. Einstein Archive 46-756 [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:06, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
** Don't see any published examples before 2004, earliest internet post I see with this quote attributed to Einstein is [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.leo-dicaprio/msg/f1186c319098589e this one from 19 August 1998], but I see [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sci.physics.new-theories/msg/c89e8b1aea266f2c this earlier post from 18 November 1996] where someone says &quot;After accepting relativity, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy!&quot; and they don't attribute it to Einstein or anyone else. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Problems cannot be solved by the level of awareness that created them.
**variant: We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
**variant: The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
**variant: No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.
** This articles points to the proper source and context for this quote http://icarus-falling.blogspot.ca/2009/06/einstein-enigma.html
**** Comment: In the main text this quote is related to nuclear politics, but it has a interesting flavour of Godel's theorem; if the source is to be found, it should be in this context.
** Don't see any books that give an original source, and earliest publication on google books with &quot;same level of awareness&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; is the 1997 book ''The Living Company'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=reXtAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22same+level+of+awareness%22#search_anchor p. x]. Earliest posts on google groups with this quote are from March 1995, like [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/cc09dcde99c98102 this one]. Also, for the variants involving &quot;thinking&quot;, in [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]] there's a discussion of the quote &quot;A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels&quot;, which mentions that Alice Calaprice speculated that some similar unsourced quotes about the need to change our &quot;thinking&quot; to better the world may be misquotes of that one. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:12, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** The variant &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot; can be found on google groups before the &quot;same level of awareness&quot; version, earliest I found was in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.rock-n-roll.metal/msg/f5b9aec33a12ed20 this post from March 1992]. This is also earlier than variants with &quot;same kind of thinking&quot; and &quot;same consciousness that created&quot;, so maybe this is the earliest version that the others mutated from. There are also pre-1992 versions of the &quot;same level of thinking&quot; quote on google books, earliest I found was the 1990 book ''The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=wlBqAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22The+significant+problems+we+face+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 42] (this was a pretty popular book so it would have been a good patient zero for spreading this meme!) And just looking for books with &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;same level of thinking&quot; it looks like a slightly older variant is &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.&quot; This appears in the 1988 book ''Take this job and love it'' by Dennis T. Jaffe and Cynthia D. Scott, [http://books.google.com/books?id=yjMOcRH7rVkC&amp;q=einstein+%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 60]. It also appears without quotation marks on [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 54] of ''The Quest, Vol. 1-2'' (1988) from the Theosophical Society. (edit: I thought at first ''The Quest'' could be the original source of the quote since it gives a paraphrase rather than claiming to be a direct quote, but see below...) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:40, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
** I missed an even earlier &quot;same level of thinking&quot; example from 1985: ''The 1985 Annual: Developing Human Resources, Issue 14'' by Leonard D. Goodstein and J. William Pfeiffer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 185]: &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking.&quot; ''The Quest'' might still be the source of &quot;the world we have made&quot; part that appears in some of these quotes, though. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:17, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
**Looks like the article in ''The Quest'' is &quot;Believing Is Seeing, Not the Reverse&quot; by &quot;educator Edward T. Clark, Jr.&quot; mentioned on [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22believing+is+seeing%22#search_anchor p. 4], which begins on p. 49 and [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22edward+t.+clark%22#search_anchor ends on p. 56] (the Einstein quote is p. 54). From the byline at the end, this article is from 1988, so it probably doesn't predate the quote in ''Take this job and love it'' since [http://www.amazon.com/Take-This-Job-Love-Changing/dp/0671638548 according to amazon] that book was published in March 1988, and the quote given there is said to be the motto of an already-existing organization, &quot;The Organizational Management and Leadership Program at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:43, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
** Ah, searching for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; rather than &quot;same level of thinking&quot; turns up a much earlier example from ''The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, Volumes 1-4'', which is dated 1969 by google books though [http://books.google.com/books?id=Hr4tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=copyright#search_anchor these snippets] show it contains pieces from 1969 and 1970. The quote, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Hr4tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 124], is &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at.&quot; It's prefaced by &quot;Einstein said an interesting thing&quot;, and the same phrase and quote appears in a 1974 book by [[w:Ram Dass|Ram Dass]] (who needs his own wikiquote page!), ''The Only Dance There Is'', on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ske6kzQlmKcC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT50#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page], so presumably the one in ''The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology'' is the same piece by Ram Dass. Ram Dass may also be the source of another misquote, the one at [[Talk:Albert_Einstein#Quote_Misattribution.3F]]--whatta rascal! [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:09, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
***Also, the next two earliest versions I find on google books (searching for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; on an [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22level+of+thinking%22+einstein advanced search] with date range 1900-1979) use wording nearly identical to the version given by [[Ram Dass]] (who now does have a wikiquote page): [http://books.google.com/books?id=LP0tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor Skeptic 1-10, p. 55] (1974), which from [http://books.google.com/books?id=gD0gAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22A+Radical+Restructuring+An+Interview+with+David+Dellinger%22#search_anchor this snippet] is from the article &quot;A Radical Restructuring: An Interview with [[w:David Dellinger|David Dellinger]]&quot;, and [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor New Age, Volume 5, p. 42] (1979), with the rest of the quote in [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22problems+that+we+cannot%22#search_anchor this snippet]...here &quot;New Age&quot; appears to be the same magazine as the [[w:New Age Journal|New Age Journal]] founded by Peggy Taylor, whose name appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22peggy+taylor%22#search_anchor this snippet], a snippet that also mentions &quot;Faith, Science, and the Future by David Harris&quot; which seems to start on [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Faith%2C+science+and+the+future%22#search_anchor p. 41] of the google books edition, so that's probably the article the Einstein quote on p. 42 comes from (the snippet with Peggy Taylor also lists &quot;Faith, Science, and the Future&quot; as appearing in the October 1979 issue). The supposed Einstein quote from Skeptic reads &quot;the world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the level of thinking at which we created them&quot;, and the one from New Age reads &quot;the world that we have made, as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far, creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them&quot;, both identical to Ram Dass' quote in the first part and very close in the second part. Since Ram Dass generally spoke extemporaneously without using notes, and ''The Only Dance There Is'' says the section with the Einstein quote is from talks he gave to &quot;spiritual seekers&quot; at &quot;the Menninger Foundation in 1970&quot;, it's likely he would have been paraphrasing a bit even if his source was some other unknown one that also misquoted Einstein (as opposed to him being the original source of the misquote as I am speculating). So if the only other sources found in the 1970s repeat Ram Dass' exact wording, it seems pretty likely that Ram Dass (or some secondary source that got the quote from Ram Dass) was the source for them. And the later variants that emerged in the 1980s and 1990s might well be all from authors that got their quotes in a chain of influences that goes back to Ram Dass' version. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:34, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
***And expanding the date range of the search to 1900-1985, the next earliest version of the quote after the ones above is again almost identical in wording to Ram Dass' version (aside from replacing &quot;cannot&quot; with &quot;can't&quot;): [http://books.google.com/books?id=6GNHAAAAMAAJ Community mental health and behavioral-ecology (1982)]. Google is a bit glitchy so no result is found when I go to the book's page and search &quot;Einstein&quot; or &quot;level of thinking&quot;, but the book appears on p. 2 of all the search results for those words with date range 1900-1985, alongside the snippet: &quot;... AND KNOWLEDGE BASES The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can 't solve at the same level as the level we created them at. (Albert Einstein; cited by Ulrich.&quot; Then after this book, the next-earliest that is verified to have the words &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; by google books is [http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor The 1985 Annual: Developing Human Resources, Issue 14, p. 185] (1985). This book has the first major variant on Ram Dass' version that I've found, &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 16:00, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
****Found the above ''Community mental health and behavior-ecology'', the quote appears on p. 1: ''The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can't solve at the same level as the level we created them at. (Albert Einstin; cited by Ulrich, 1980, p. 2.)'' And the &quot;Ulrich&quot; reference is: ''Ulrich, R. E. The use of behavior modification strategies to increase the probability of attendance at evening chapel through the use of food contingent reinforcement at the Life Line Mission, San Francisco, California. ''Behaviorists for Social Action Journal'', 1980, ''2'' (2), 1-2.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 17:57, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
***Searching for the phrase &quot;solve at the same level we created them&quot; turns up a few other sources that for some reason didn't turn up when I searched &quot;level of thinking&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; (google book searches seem to be very glitchy): The 1975 book ''More power than we know: the people's movement toward democracy'' by David Dellinger, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ys4DAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22solve+at+the+same+level+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 291] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them at&quot;); 1982's ''Perspectives'', Volume 14, Issue 3 from the United States Commission on Civil Rights, [http://books.google.com/books?id=zsgyOzvb6FUC&amp;q=%22solve+at+the+same+level+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 26] (same version as Dellinger book); and The 1982 book ''Nuclear Power, Both Sides: The Best Arguments for and Against the Most Controversial Technology'' by Michio Kaku and Jennifer Trainer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=7A9A9BSk0eUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA238#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 238] (nearly the same as the Dellinger book, but with &quot;The world we have made&quot; in place of &quot;The world ''that'' we have made&quot;). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:36, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
***I also seem to get different results when I use Safari than when I use Firefox. Searching for &quot;level of thinking&quot; and &quot;Einstein&quot; on Safari, and sorting the results by date and looking at the earliest, I also see the 1979 volume ''Behaviorists for Social Action journal'', Volumes 2-3, [http://books.google.com/books?id=xYAXAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22level+of+thinking%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 2] (the quote here is &quot;The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can't solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;), and searching for &quot;world that we have made&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; gives the various pre-1985 sources: the1980 book ''Beat the system!: A way to create more human environments'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=_I62AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 1] (&quot;The world that we have have made as a result of the level of thinking that we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them&quot;), the 1983 book ''The Optimum utilization of knowledge: making knowledge serve human betterment'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=N7qOAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 295] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the level we created them at&quot;), and ''1984 National Science Foundation Authorization: Hearings Before the Subcommittee on Science, Research, and Technology of the Committee on Science and Technology, U.S. House of Representatives, Ninety-eighth Congress, First Session, on H.R. 2066, February 23, 25; March 1, 8, 10, 1983'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=sV0VAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22#search_anchor p. 240] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;). Again, all of these pre-1985 quotes seem to be very close to Ram Dass' version from 1970, &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 03:54, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
** Trying to judge which are more popular variants, and the order they appeared in published sources. &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot;: 313 results on google books ([http://books.google.com/books?id=wlBqAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+face+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1990]). &quot;We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them&quot;: 222 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=0S2fgVXOfyEC&amp;q=%22We+can%27t+solve+problems+by+using+the+same+kind+of+thinking+we+used+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 2000]). &quot;No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it&quot;: 119 results (earliest are two from 1993, [http://books.google.com/books?id=q_PaBDmfC4YC&amp;q=%22No+problem+can+be+solved+from+the+same+consciousness+that+created+it%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=_NPgAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22No+problem+can+be+solved+from+the+same+consciousness+that+created+it%22#search_anchor here]). &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them&quot;: 65 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=D7RO7XbekbIC&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+have+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+with+which+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1995]). &quot;The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking&quot;: 32 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=I1V8XPk10EcC&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+created+is+a+product+of+our+thinking%3B+it+cannot+be+changed+without+changing+our+thinking%22#search_anchor earliest 1993]). &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them&quot;: 18 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=BDYGdfiAGtoC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA82#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false earliest 1992]). &quot;The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them&quot;: 14 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=B4giAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+made+as+a+result+of+the+level+of+thinking+we+have+done+thus+far+creates+problems+we+cannot+solve+at+the+same+level+at+which+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1986]). &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;: 6 results (earliest is Ram Dass' talk above, said in book's introduction to be from 1970). &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot;: 4 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=yjMOcRH7rVkC&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+have+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1988]). &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking&quot;: 1 result ([http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Our+thinking+has+created+problems+which+cannot+be+solved+by+that+same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor 1985]). Maybe I'll add some of the more popular variants to the &quot;Disputed&quot; or &quot;Misattributed&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:55, 13 December 2011 (UTC)
***Another variant: &quot;A problem can't be solved at the same level it was created.&quot; From the 1986 book ''The power of people skills: a manager's guide to assessing and developing your organization's greatest resource'' by John Douglas Stewart, [http://books.google.com/books?id=kfgJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22can%27t+be+solved%22+%22same+level%22#search_anchor p. 127]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 04:09, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

* Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.
** Couldn't find any books that give an original source, earliest one I found with this quote was ''Words for all Occasions'' by Glenn Van Ekeren (1988), [http://books.google.com/books?id=wwi4s5qkXvoC&amp;q=%22not+the+main+means%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 234]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:41, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''So long there are men, there will be wars.'''
** Appears in ''Einstein: A Life'' by Denis Brian, [http://books.google.com/books?id=05XuAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22there+will+be+wars%22#search_anchor p. 172]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
** Variant: The greatest difference between genius and stupidity is that genius is limited.
** Earliest published source I find attributing it to Einstein is the 1999 publication ''73 amateur radio today, Issues 460-470'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=EIdVAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein+stupidity+%22genius+has+its+limits%22#search_anchor p. 57]. It's attributed to Einstein in internet posts before then, earliest I found was from [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.pascal.delphi.misc/msg/7ac93566ab9401dc?hl=en 7 August 1995]. But the quote was presented as an anonymous saying well before that, earliest I found was the 1961 ''Grassroots Editor'' which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=JtgQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=stupidity+%22genius+has+its+limits%22#search_anchor p. 34] &quot;One man says that the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:10, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

*The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution. Attributed to Einstein, A., &amp; Infeld, L. (1938). The evolution of physics. New York: Simon &amp; Schuster. --[[User:Lbeaumont|Lbeaumont]] ([[User talk:Lbeaumont|talk]]) 15:46, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

* The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.
** Only 3 published sources on google books, earliest is the 2003 book ''Still Life With Crows'' by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, [http://books.google.com/books?id=yE7SYGtSOgMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA189#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 189]. 

* The only source of knowledge is experience.
** Commonly attributed, google books returns over 600 phrase matches but I cannot find the original source amongst these results. Appears to be a restatement of an actual quote from ''The Critique of Pure Reason'' by Immanuel Kant which is already on WQ [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Immanuel_Kant#Critique_of_Pure_Reason_.281781.3B_1787.29#search_anchor B 1]

* The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
** As quoted in ''How to Think like Einstein : Simple Ways to Break the Rules and Discover Your Hidden Genius'' (2000); in the earliest published occurence of this yet located, in ''The Art of the Shmooze'' (1998) by Bret Saxon and Steve Stein, p. 156, it is implied to be something said by [[Conan O'Brien]], but no definite citation is provided. A number of posts on [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] attributed the quote to Einstein before this, the earliest located being [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en this post from 9 February 1989] (it is possible this post is mis-dated by google, since other posts with this quote are not found until the mid-90s, see [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?hl=en&amp;as_q=&amp;as_epq=knowing+how+to+hide+your+sources&amp;as_oq=&amp;as_eq=&amp;num=10&amp;scoring=&amp;lr=&amp;as_sitesearch=&amp;as_qdr=&amp;as_drrb=b&amp;as_mind=1&amp;as_minm=1&amp;as_miny=1981&amp;as_maxd=1&amp;as_maxm=1&amp;as_maxy=1997&amp;as_ugroup=&amp;as_usubject=&amp;as_uauthors=&amp;safe=off&amp;sa=N&amp;start=0 this search]).
**The Usenet post is probably not mis-dated by Google.  If you look at the original post using &quot;more options&quot; it clearly shows &quot;Date: 9 Feb 89 13:43:00 GMT&quot; [[User:Jupiter9|Jupiter9]] ([[User talk:Jupiter9|talk]]) 17:52, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
***Do you think google has a separate record for the date that appears in the &quot;more options&quot; version and the date that appears at the upper right of the [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en version I linked to]? Seems unlikely to me, they probably just have a single computer record of the date of a given post, so the fact that the same date appears under &quot;more options&quot; wouldn't qualify as independent confirmation of the date. Still, I do think the date is most likely correct despite the gap in time between this post and later ones with the same quote, there could well be other posts in between that just didn't show up in the search (I've noticed that searches of google groups are often unreliable, often I'll search for posts with a given set of keywords, then do another search with slightly different but similar keywords, and come across posts that ''should'' have showed up in the first search but didn't). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 16:08, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

* The substance of our knowledge resides in the detailed terminology of a field.
** Listed in the &quot;possibly or probably by einstein&quot; section of Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', but the only other source I can find that gives this quote is ''Terminology and Language Planning: an alternative framework of practice and discourse'' by Bassy Edem Antia (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Zx-1Txwzvt0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA100#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 100]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:59, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The world needs heroes and it's better they be harmless men like me than villains like Hitler.
** Appears in ''Return to mathematical circles: a fifth collection of mathematical stories and anecdotes'' by Howard Whitley Eves (1988), [http://books.google.com/books?id=v_PuAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22needs+heroes%22#search_anchor p. 21]. Without seeing more of the context than the snippet provided, it's not really possible to tell whether it's a firsthand anecdote from the sculptor Robert Berks who he supposedly made the comment to. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:21, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
** Searching on google books for &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;product of our thinking&quot;, and restricting the date range to 2004 or earlier, [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22product+of+our+thinking%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202004&amp;num=10 only turns up a small number of publications] (earliest is ''Bottom line, personal: Volume 18'' from 1997), none of which provide an original source. Doing the same search on google groups, earliest post I found with this quote was [http://groups.google.com/group/la.wanted/msg/c389e942dfcf788c this one from 1996]. In [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]] there's a discussion of the quote &quot;A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels&quot;, which mentions that Alice Calaprice speculated that some similar unsourced quotes about the need to change our &quot;thinking&quot; to better the world may be misquotes of that one. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:03, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Searching instead for &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;world we have created&quot;, the two earliest I find are from 1992, one is ''Changing course: a global business perspective on development and the environment'' by Stephan Schmidheiny, which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=BDYGdfiAGtoC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA82#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 82] has the totally convoluted-sounding &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them&quot; (the edition on google books is the fifth printing from 1998, so it's possible the 1992 edition might not have had the quote), and the other is ''Forbes, Vol 150, Issues 6-10'' which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=rRm8AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+created+today+has+problems+that+cannot+be+solved+by+thinking+the+way+we+thought+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 177] has the slightly less convoluted &quot;The world we have created today has problems that cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them.&quot; Quotes with &quot;the world we have made&quot; probably predate ones with &quot;world we have created&quot;, since the phrase &quot;world we have made&quot; appears in the 1969 or 1970 article by Ram Dass, mentioned above in the discussion of a variant of the quote &quot;Problems cannot be solved by the level of awareness that created them&quot;, and the Ram Dass article also contains the phrase &quot;thus far&quot; which appears in both quotes above. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:57, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

* There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.
** [https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/debunking-fake-albert-einstein-quotes/ only became attributed to Einstein around 1993, which casts further doubt on it being Einstein’s.]

* Those who have the privilege to know, have the duty to act.
** The earliest reference to this I can find is [http://www.no2torture.org/quotes/quotes_speaking.shtml this page from 2001] and no proper citations. --[[User:Kelly.stanonik|Kelly.stanonik]] ([[User talk:Kelly.stanonik|talk]]) 12:38, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
***The copyright notice at the bottom of the page actually says 2005-2006, not 2001. I found a pre-2005 reference on [http://books.google.com/books?id=zxvFXkH0828C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PR27#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. xxvii of the book Rocky Mountain Futures] which according to google is from 2002, but again no original source is given. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 20:36, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

* We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life. All that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
** Often attributed to Einstein, but probably false.  Also attributed to Charles Kingsley [http://nielsenhayden.com/electrolite/archives/earchive_2001_09.html as far back as 2001].

* We are slowed down sound and light waves, a walking bundle of frequencies tuned into the cosmos. We are souls dressed up in sacred biochemical garments and our bodies are the instruments through which our souls play their music
** this is all over the internet, and just... sounds desperately wrong to me.  I can't find a source, and Google shows nothing prior to 2/1/2001, though that might be just the limits of their archives.  [[User:StephanCom|StephanCom]] ([[User talk:StephanCom|talk]])

* We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
** Probably false, since [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22we+owe+a+lot+to+the+indians%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202002&amp;num=10 this google book search] shows no published versions before 2000, before that it was on the internet, earliest version I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.pakistan/msg/05796fc2a5b607af?hl=en this post from 1997]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:01, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* We still do not know one thousandth of one percent what nature has revealed to us.
** This is widely attributed to Einstein on various quotation Web sites and social networking pages, but I was unable to find a citation to the original source. The [http://www.google.com/search?q=We+still+do+not+know+one+thousandth+of+one+percent+what+nature+has+revealed+to+us.&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 Google Books] results show only recent books, some of them about New Age spirituality and alternative medicine. --[[User:Jurisfiction|Jurisfiction]] ([[User talk:Jurisfiction|talk]]) 03:27, 22 July 2013 (UTC)

* What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.
** Usually attributed to Einstein online, but I also found attributions to [[Howard Cosell]] (!) (see discussion on his talk page?) [[User:Mathmannix|Mathmannix]] ([[User talk:Mathmannix|talk]]) 17:02, 10 January 2020 (UTC)

*You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.
** Earliest published sourced found is ''West's federal reporter: cases argued and determined in the United States courts of appeals and Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals'' (2001), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q7s1AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22steal+money+from+it%22#search_anchor p. 1165].
** More details on the origins of this quote in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/09/09/einstein-roulette/ this post] from Quote Investigator. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 22:24, 26 September 2012 (UTC)

* You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. [[User:Jbgfour|Jbgfour]] ([[User talk:Jbgfour|talk]]) 01:35, 8 September 2015 (UTC)

* You never fail until you stop trying.
** Earliest version I could find is from [https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Postal_Record/gSKdAAAAMAAJ?kptab=editions&amp;gbpv=1&amp;bsq=%22you%20never%20fail%20until%20you%20stop%20trying%22 The Postal Record, Volume 91, published 1978].
** I can't find anything attributing the quote to Einstein earlier than [https://www.google.com/books/edition/Learning_Core_Data_for_IOS/FerrAQAAQBAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=%22you+never+fail+until+you+stop+trying%22+einstein&amp;pg=PA331&amp;printsec=frontcover 2013].[[User:Browlry|Browlry]] ([[User talk:Browlry|talk]]) 21:13, 21 August 2020 (UTC)

* I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence and the truth comes to me.

* God gave me the stubbornness of a mule and a fairly keen scent. [https://twitter.com/AlbertEinstein/status/1394973865089159169]

* ''Everything in the Universe is Vibration.'' [https://twitter.com/DegreaseNeil/status/1446901179338956806]

== Formerly unsourced, now in article == 

* A little knowledge is dangerous. So is a lot.
** From the TV program ''Eureka'' (2006)
**Appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=TuMmAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22so+is+a+lot%22#search_anchor The Atlantic: vol. 216] from 1965. Doesn't seem like a direct quote, just something Einstein &quot;might have told you&quot; in an ad for Encyclopaedia Britannica--the full quote is &quot;Encyclopaedia Britannica says: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot. The more you know, the more you need to know — as Albert Einstein, for one, might have told you. Great knowledge has a way of bringing with it great responsibility. The people who put the Encyclopaedia Britannica together feel the same way. After all, if most of the world had come to count on you as the best single source of complete, accurate, up-to-date information on everything, you'd want to be pretty sure you knew what you were talking about.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:11, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:03, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* A man must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their sufferings.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:27, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.
** Earliest published source on google books attributing this to Einstein is [http://books.google.com/books?id=bQk7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor BMJ: The British Medical Journal], volume 319, 23 October 1999, p. 1102. [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.windows.x.i386unix/msg/f46f42ad37ca770b?hl=en This internet post from 1994] has the same quote, except attributed to E.F. Schumacher. And the quote appears attributed to Schumacher on [http://books.google.com/books?id=pVI6IX0k_CAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA185#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 185] of ''Exploding the Myths of Modern Architecture'' by Malcolm Millais, where the source is given as &quot;an advertisement by ITDG (now Intermediate Technology) for ''Practical Answers to Poverty''. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:26, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Also appears in ''The Radical Humanist: volume 37'' from 1973, [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 22]. And as seen [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22small+is+beautiful%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=schumacher#search_anchor here], p. 18 is the beginning of a piece called &quot;Small is Beautiful&quot; by Schumacher so this quote is presumably from that piece (also see the right-hand search image [http://justinknoll.posterous.com/things-einstein-never-said-any-intelligent-fo here] showing the table of contents, which does show Schumacher's piece starting on p. 18 and the next one starting on p. 23, although when I search it doesn't show me the contents.) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:04, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Moved to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
** Appears in the 1959 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22silent+vice%22#search_anchor Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography] by Carl Seelig on p. 114, the context is &quot;On another occasion when someone in his company grew angry about a mutual acquaintance's moral decline he shrugged his shoulders lightly and said: 'As far as I'm concerned I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.'&quot; I think Seelig did primary research and talked to people who knew Einstein, so could maybe go in the &quot;posthumous&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:52, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:39, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination.
**Seems to be a variant of a quote (not by Einstein) from the 1969 ''Advances in Instrumentation: Vol 24, Part 4'' which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Computers+are+incredibly+fast%2C+accurate+and+stupid%22#search_anchor p. 16]: &quot;Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. On the other hand, a well trained operator as compared with a computer is incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. We think of this feature as 'intelligent override' in our control system.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:09, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Also, it looks like this is from the article &quot;A Paper Industry Application of Systems Engineering and Direct Digital Control&quot; by H. D. Couture, Jr. and M. A. Keyes which starts on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22and+direct+digital+control%22#search_anchor p. 13]...you can see from the snippet of p. 13 that H.D. Couture Jr. is the Training Director at Eastex Incorporated, and searching for Eastex [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=eastex#search_anchor shows] that it's mentioned on p. 15 and p. 16, which is the page where the quote appears. I see that a comment from &quot;stevestart&quot; on [http://www.benshoemate.com/2008/11/30/einstein-never-said-that/ this page] confirms the quote is from that article, but a comment by &quot;Toddulus&quot; mentions a variant of the quote was written by Robert O' Conner in April 1968 (see [http://journals.lww.com/joem/Citation/1968/04000/Fast,_Accurate_and_Stupid.10.aspx here]), and a comment by &quot;David&quot; gives a reference saying it was spoken by Leo Cherne in a speech from June 1968. Possibly it was just a cliche among certain professionals in computer-related industries at the time. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:14, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**And even earlier is ''Current'' from 1962, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=TwwQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Man+is+a+slow%2C+sloppy%2C+and+brilliant+thinker%3B+computers+are+fast%2C+accurate%2C+and+stupid%22#search_anchor p. 53]: &quot;Man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; computers are fast, accurate and stupid.&quot; It seems from the snippet that this source is just quoting an earlier article, &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; which appeared in the October 1961 issue of ''Fortune'' magazine. As mentioned on [http://books.google.com/books?id=t_oKAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22problems%2C+too%2C+have+problems%22#search_anchor p. 101] of ''ASPO newsletter, Volumes 25-27'', the &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; article was written by John Pfeiffer, and two other early sources credit Pfeiffer with the observation that computers are fast, accurate, and stupid, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=teYVAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=fast+accurate+stupid+pfeiffer#search_anchor p. 85] of ''Elementary English, Volume 39'' (1962), and ''The Journal of medical education, Volume 37, Issue 2'' (1962) on p. 72 (see [http://books.google.com/books?id=mjR0AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=pfeiffer#search_anchor this snippet] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=mjR0AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=fast+accurate+stupid#search_anchor this one].) So, most likely Pfeiffer's 1961 article is the original source of this saying. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:15, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**A similar phrase was used earlier in 1956 from the American Bar News Association newsletter Volume 1 - 6 [https://books.google.ie/books?id=GQsLAQAAMAAJ&amp;]: &quot;...into a form that can be handled by these incredibly rapid and accurate, but stupid machines&quot;, Biunno said.&quot;
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:04, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
**Not Einstein's own words, but he did quote it &quot;On Education&quot; from 1936, which appears in ''Out of My Later Years''. His comment was 'Thus the wit was not wrong who defined education in this way: &quot;Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything he learned in school.&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:10, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:15, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.
** Appears in the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:59, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
** This one appears in the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:14, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
** A variant (different translation?) appears in Einstein's ''The World As I See It'', in a section titled &quot;Letter to a Friend of Peace&quot; in the &quot;Politics and Pacifism&quot; part of the book, [http://books.google.com/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA66#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 66 of this edition]. Here the quote is &quot;Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:32, 3 December 2011 (UTC) 
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#The_World_As_I_See_It_.281949.29|The World As I See It]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:37, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
** Attributed to Einstein by a colleague, Léopold Infeld, in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA279#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 279]. The copyright date on the title page says it was originally published in 1941 so I guess it can't go in the the &quot;Posthumous&quot; section...maybe that section's title should be changed to &quot;Posthumous and attributed from memory&quot;? (&quot;from memory&quot; to distinguish from attributed quotes from interviews) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my lifetime.
** Unsourced, but sometimes dated to &lt;!-- December? --&gt; 1947.
*** Yeah, Dec 1947 in the (FBI's) Ladd(,Mickey)  Report on Einstein.  No source is cited for the quote.  (see The Einstein File: J. Edgar Hoover's Secret War Against the World's Most ... By Fred Jerome pg. 171 )

* '''I love to travel, but hate to arrive.'''
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications|posthumous publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:39, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* I think that only daring speculation can lead us further and not accumulation of facts.
** According to ''Scientifically speaking: a dictionary of quotations, Volume 1'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=FFIBzawsfPEC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA154#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 154], the quote is on p. 487 of ''Correspondance 1903-1955'' by Michele Besso, it appears in a letter Einstein sent to Besso on 8 October 1952. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:50, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]].

* I wish they don't forget to keep those treasures pure which they have in excellence over the west: their artistic building of life, the simplicity and modesty in personal need, and the pureness and calmness of Japanese soul. (referring to the Japanese people.)
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' a slightly different version (different translation probably) appears in the &quot;Japan and the Japanese&quot; section of the &quot;On Miscellaneous Subjects&quot; chapter: &quot;May they not forget to keep pure the great heritage that puts them ahead of the West: the artistic configuration of life, the simplicity and modesty of personal needs, and the purity and serenity of the Japanese soul.&quot; the book says this is from ' ''Kaizo'' 5, no. 1 (January 1923), 339. Einstein ARchive 36-477.1&quot;.  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:00, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:49, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
** ''Alternative version:'' If ''A'' equals success, then the formula is: &lt;math&gt;A = X + Y + Z&lt;/math&gt; ; ''X'' is work, ''Y'' is play, and ''Z'' is keeping your mouth shut.
**Appears, with a source, at the end of the [[Albert_Einstein#1920s|1920s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
** This seems one of the more highly dubious statements attributed to Einstein, but it has become widely attributed to him on the internet without any definite source; it seems that this might be a case of an unknown originator seeking to practice what is preached.
** [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=change-the-facts+%22facts+don%27t+fit%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201959&amp;num=10 Searching for &quot;facts don't fit&quot; and &quot;change the facts&quot; on google books] turns up [http://books.google.com/books?id=7NszAQAAIAAJ this 1958 book] which apparently says on p. 9: 'There is an age-old adage, &quot;If the facts don't fit the theory, change the theory.&quot; But too often it's easier to keep the theory and change the facts.' And [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=facts+fit+%22so+much+the+worse+for+the+facts%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201950&amp;num=10 this search] shows that before that there was a popular variant, used for example by [http://books.google.com/books?id=v3Pb8og_zvMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA228#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Charles Darwin's brother Erasmus], which goes something like &quot;if the facts won't fit, then so much worse for the facts&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:56, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
**Added this to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:09, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
**sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:01, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.
** The earliest reference I find is [http://books.google.com/books?ei=NkC4TrS7D8r20gGqncDRBw&amp;ct=result&amp;id=KfQOAQAAMAAJ&amp;dq=einstein+%22doris+gates%22+%22fairy+tales%22&amp;q=einstein+%22doris+gates%22+%22fairy+tales%22#search_anchor The Wilson Library Bulletin, Vol 37] from 1962, which says on p. 678 'And Doris Gates, writer and children's librarian, reports that Albert Einstein told an anxious mother who wanted to help her child become a scientist: &quot;First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
** Found an earlier source from 1954, and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:28, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* In long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.
**(From an address to the Chicago Decalogue Society, February 20, 1954)
**The attribution someone added above about the Chicago Decalogue Society is correct, the quote appears in a section titled &quot;Human Rights&quot; in his book ''Ideas and Opinions''. Wording is slightly different though: &quot;in long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:33, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:48, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.
** this is a variant of a quote in the [[Albert_Einstein#Essay_to_Leo_Baeck_.281953.29|Essay to Leo Baeck]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:25, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* In the matter of physics, the first lessons should contain nothing but what is experimental and interesting to see. A pretty experiment is in itself often more valuable than twenty formulae extracted from our minds.
**From {{cite book |title=Einstein, Einblicke in seine Gedankenwelt |last=Moszkowski |first=Alexander |publisher=F. Fontane |year=1922 |page=77 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=6zHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA76 |quote=Was die Physik betrifft, fuhr Einstein fort, so darf für den ersten Unterricht gar nichts in Frage kommen, als das Experimentelle, anschaulich-Interessante. Ein hübsches Experiment ist schon an sich oft wertvoller, als zwanzig in der Gedankenretorte entwickelte Formeln.}} As Moszkowski makes clear in the original German text, this &quot;quotation&quot; is a paraphrasing of his conversation with Einstein. The translation into English comes from {{cite book |title=Conversations with Einstein |last=Moszkowski |first=Alexander |isbn=9780818002151 |publisher=Horizon Press |year=1971 |page=67}}
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]

* In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
** This is #3 of the &quot;three rules&quot; that John Wheeler said Einstein's work revolved around, quoted in [[Albert_Einstein#Quotes_about_Einstein|Quotes about Einstein]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:55, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:44, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* It gives me great pleasure, indeed, to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
** Source: Einstein on peace, 1960 -- reliable source?
**Appears in ''Ideas and Opinions'', at the start of the section &quot;Address on Receiving Lord &amp; Taylor Award&quot;, May 4 1953.
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:48, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* It is almost a miracle that modern teaching methods have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything, besides stimulation, is freedom
** Slightly altered version of a quote from [[Albert_Einstein#.22Autobiographical_Notes.22_.281949.29|Autobiographical Notes]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:08, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.
** ''Einstein on Politics'' paraphrases his comment on [http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA334#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 334], and says that he made the comment in a 1944 interview that appeared in the article &quot;Our Goal Unity, but Germans Are Unfit,&quot; ''Free World'' 8 (October 1944), no. 4, 370-371. A snippet from ''Free World'' with the quote can be seen [http://books.google.com/books?id=FxHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22duty+of+every+citizen%22#search_anchor here]--the exact words are &quot;I think that it is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:49, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:57, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Measured objectively, what a man can wrest from Truth by passionate striving is utterly infinitesimal. But the striving frees us from the bonds of the self and makes us comrades of those who are the best and the greatest.
** Appears in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;q=%22wrest+from+truth%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22wrest%20from%20truth%22&amp;f=false p. 24]. Snippet says this was an etching made by Hermann Struck, it's not clear if he was etching a comment of Einstein's or someone else's, does anyone have this book to check it? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Found the details and added them to [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:37, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
** This one is found in the [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]] section, it's from ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky.

* No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
** Earliest published version I found was ''Symposium on structure of enzymes and proteins'' from 1956, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22so+important+a+biological%22#search_anchor p. 284] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22morgan+what+he+was+doing%22#search_anchor p. 283]: 'I asked Dr. Morgan what he was doing in genetics then and he said, &quot;I am not doing any genetics. I am bored with genetics. But I am going out to Cal Tech where I hope it will be possible to bring physics and chemistry to bear on biology. I think it will be good for biologists to live in that atmosphere.&quot; At that time a protein molecule was not a big black ball. It was something very smeary but equally dark. And de- naturation was a very mysterious phenomenon. Enzymes were almost as mysterious as they were at the time of the Pasteur-Liebig controversy. We could measure pTL and a few things like that and that was about all. There was some resentment, I think, among some biologists that their students, the younger people, were even using pH meters. In fact, a lot of fun was made about the dominance of pH over biology. Shortly after Dr. Morgan came to Cal Tech (and I came a year after he did), Einstein was visiting our place. He came around to biology, and talking to Dr. Morgan asked him what he was trying to do there, said it was a strange thing for a biologist to be at an Institute of Technology. Dr. Morgan told him what he had told me. Einstein shook his head and said, '''&quot;No, this trick won't work. The same trick does not work twice. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?&quot;'''' All this is apparently from a piece that begins on p. 283 by Henry Borsook, and is titled 'Informal remarks &quot;by way of a summary&quot;', as seen in the table of contents [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=283#search_anchor here], and searching inside for &quot;Henry Borsook&quot; shows that his name does appear at the top of [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22henry+borsook%22#search_anchor p. 283]. Anyway, it seems as though these are Borsook's personal recollections of what happened at the lab (Borsook is also given as the source in ''The Molecular Vision of Life'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=vEHeNI2a8OEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA95#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 95]), so it could go in the &quot;posthumous&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 08:23, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:09, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.
**It's in his &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA346#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page]...added it to the &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:59, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* One strength of the communist system of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion.
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:10, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* One thing I have learned in a long life: All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike — and yet it is the most precious thing we have.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:02, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:30, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem — in my opinion — to characterize our age.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s|1940s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:07, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
**** Comment: This is usually a history about a funeral, Einstein is quoted as telling it to the widow.
**** I think this is just a misquote of the March 1955 quote (in the [[Albert Einstein#1950s|1950s section]]): &quot;Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.&quot; 

* '''Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.'''
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Viereck_interview_.281929.29|Viereck interview]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:35, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Still, there are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments, one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable: life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only being.
** This was listed as &quot;possibly or probably by Einstein&quot; in Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein''--it looks like it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Tr9ZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22imagines+that+one+stands%22#search_anchor p. 282] of ''Einstein on Peace'', but the snippet doesn't reveal anything about when/where he said it, I'll have to find a copy of that book before adding it to the article. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:49, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Sourced and added to [[Albert Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:54, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

* Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
** Probably a misquote of &quot;Our entire much-praised technological progress, and civilization generally, could be compared to an axe in the hand of a pathological criminal.&quot; This one is said to be from a 1917 letter to his friend H. Zangger, in ''A Sense of the Mysterious: Science and the Human Spirit'' by Alan Lightman ([http://books.google.com/books?id=-yo_gVxMs6MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA110#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 110]) and ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' by Albrecht Fölsing, ([http://books.google.com/books?id=Kmm0foYfvQAC&amp;q=%22compared+to+an+axe%22#search_anchor p. 399]). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:41, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1910s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:39, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility… The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle. -- Einstein, “Physics and Reality,” Journal of the Franklin Institute, March 1936 &lt;!-- unsourced? --&gt;
** added to [[Albert Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:05, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:36, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
** This gets [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22the+intuitive+mind+is+a+sacred+gift%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=N&amp;tab=sw almost 500k] hits on google, but as far as I can tell, none has a source. I tried amazon's lookinside and online repositories of his writings.
** Doing a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22sacred+gift%22+einstein google book search] and restricting the date range to 1900-1990, there are only 10 books and several of them attribute it to &quot;Samples, 1976&quot; which is apparently [http://books.google.com/books?id=z2F9AAAAMAAJ ''The Metaphoric Mind'' by Bob Samples] (which also seems to be the earliest published variant). If you go to that book's google page and enter &quot;sacred gift&quot; into the &quot;From inside the book&quot; box you get [http://books.google.com/books?id=z2F9AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22sacred+gift%22#search_anchor snippets of two sections that attribute it to Einstein], but as a paraphrase rather than a direct quote, with no source given, and the author seems to be adding his own comment when he writes &quot;It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine&quot; so even if the first part is accurate, this part is probably not Einstein's. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:50, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
** Einstein had many quotes about the value of intuition and imagination, but the specific word &quot;gift&quot; can be found in a comment remembered by János Plesch in the section [[Albert_Einstein#Posthumous_publications]], &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.&quot; So, Bob Samples might have been paraphrasing that comment. Likewise Einstein had a number of quotes about the intellect being secondary to intuition, but the language of the intellect &quot;serving&quot; can be found in a quote from [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29]], &quot;And certainly we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:59, 8 November 2011 (UTC)

* The mass of a body is a measure of its energy content.
**sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1900s|1900s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:28, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.
** Appears in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;q=%22striving+for+morality%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22striving%20for%20morality%22&amp;f=false p. 95]. The snippet says it was from something Einstein sent on 20 November 1950--can someone check the book to see who it was sent to? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:09, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Found the details and added it to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:59, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.
** Variant: &quot;Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe.&quot;
** There's a good discussion of the history of claims of similar quotes about compound interest at [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/31/compound-interest/ The Quote Investigator]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:12, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
**The variant version appears in [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]

* The only real valuable thing is intuition. The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery.
**Appears to be a composite of &quot;The really valuable thing is intuition&quot; which I added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]] section, and the quote &quot;&quot;The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you do not know how or why. All great discoveries are made in this way&quot;, which is an unsourced variant of a Life Magazine quote from a 1954 interview that I added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29]] section. Putting the phrase &quot;valuable thing is intuition. The intellect has little&quot; into google books turns up only one book from 2009 that uses it, although if you put it into google there are plenty of pages that do, including some from before 2009 like [http://codylds.wordpress.com/2007/10/01/other-quotes/ this blog entry from 2007], so it likely originated on the internet. This might actually be a case where wikiquote itself is the source of this erroneous quote, as I haven't found any internet sources from before 2005 that put them together this way, and its origin on wikiquote is [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;action=historysubmit&amp;diff=33439&amp;oldid=33408 this 9 January 2005 edit]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:45, 9 November 2011 (UTC)
***Found an earlier example of someone putting the two quotes together like this is in [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/5a29629583ae8a77 this usenet post from 14 Sep 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:41, 18 July 2012 (UTC)

* The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist. I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.
** This is from a diary kept by his companion Johanna Fantova, it appears at the end of [http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/24/nyregion/from-companion-s-lost-diary-a-portrait-of-einstein-in-old-age.html this New York Times story] about the diary. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:29, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:46, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The pioneers of a warless world are the youth who refuse military service.
** Looks to be a paraphrase of a quote from ''Einstein on Peace'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=Tr9ZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22pioneers+of+a+warless+world%22#search_anchor p. 142]: &quot;Today, in twelve countries, young men are resisting conscription and refusing military service. They are the pioneers of a warless world.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:32, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:31, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Albert_Einstein:_The_Human_Side_.281979.29|Albert Einstein: The Human Side]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:02, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:39, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* The release of atomic power has changed everything except our way of thinking. -- Einstein, fundraising telegram for the Emergency Committee of Atomic Scientists, May 23, 1946, Einstein Archives, 40-11.  
** Seems to be a variant of a quote in [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]], but with the wording slightly incorrect.

* The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
** Einstein was actually quoting [[Gotthold Ephraim Lessing]] here--added to [[Albert Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:54, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
** On a google book search the [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22hide+your+sources%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202001&amp;num=10 earliest ones] using the phrase &quot;hide your sources&quot; along with &quot;Einstein&quot; are from 2000, but searching google groups shows it's been circulating on the internet for a while before that, [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en here's a usenet post from 1989] that uses it. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:18, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
** This one is already in [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]

* The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. ([[w:1945|1945]])
** On the problems presented by nuclear weapons. Variant: ... If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
** The second sentence about becoming a watchmaker is discussed in [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. Searching on google books for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;heart of mankind&quot;, all of them seem to pair it with the watchmaker quote without giving a source, so not very trustworthy (earliest source I find is Alan Moore's 1987 graphic novel ''Watchmen'', which at the end of Chapter IV—originally published as a single issue on Dec. 1 1986 according to [http://www.comicvine.com/watchmen/49-3622/ this page]—has the quote &quot;The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking ... The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker&quot;). It's possible the &quot;heart of mankind&quot; sentence could be a paraphrase of the following quote from ''Einstein and the Poet'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA92#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 92]: &quot;I agree with you, intellect has never saved the world. If we want to improve the world we cannot do it with scientific knowledge but with ideals ... We must begin with the heart of man—with his conscience—and the values of conscience can only be manifested by selfless service to mankind.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:31, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** The &quot;heart of mankind&quot; part could also be inspired by a line from the interview with Michael Amrine [http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm here]: &quot;Science has brought forth this danger, but the real problem is in the minds and hearts of men. We will not change the hearts or other men by mechanism, but by changing our hearts and speaking bravely.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:56, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added the Alan Moore variant to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:35, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

* The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
** sourced in the [[Albert_Einstein#1940s|1940s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.
**Variant translation of a quote from &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; that appears in [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:46, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* There remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion.
** Already appears in [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:39, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live. 
** Attributed to &quot;Albert Einstein: theoretical physicist&quot; Forsee page 81. seems strange and unreliable though [[User:Yochaim|Yochaim]] 05:47, 16 August 2011 (UTC)
**This might be a case of a quote written about Einstein's ideas being mistaken for an actual quote from einstein...earliest relativity-related example I could find of &quot;modes by which we think&quot; on google books is from the 1944 book ''Einstein: An Intimate Study of a Great Man'' by Dimitri Marianoff and Palma Wayne, if you do a search &quot;from inside the book&quot; [http://books.google.com/books?id=RiXPAAAAMAAJ here] for the phrase &quot;modes by which we think&quot;, you get a snippet from p. 62 that says: &lt;blockquote&gt;But Einstein came along and took space and time out of the realm of stationary things and put them in the realm of relativity—giving the onlooker dominion over time and space, because time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.&lt;/blockquote&gt;
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]

* Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
** [http://www.google.com/search?q=einstein+%22dollar+chasers%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 This search] shows few published examples with the earliest being from 2004, but it was circulating on the internet a while before that, see [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/39c9638fff30d2ff?hl=en this post from 1993] for example.  I actually emailed the author of that post and he said he thought he had gotten it from the [[Albert_Einstein#Viereck_interview_.281929.29|1929 Viereck interview]] which he had photocopied from a library in 1989, Viereck's interview apparently hasn't been published in its entirety in any book so it could well be from there. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:39, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
**Found it in online copy of 1929 Viereck interview, put it in that section of the article. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 04:14, 4 April 2012 (UTC)

* Truth is what stands the test of experience.
** sourced and added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:37, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. 
** Appears at the very end of the [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29|Einstein and the Poet]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:09, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
** Variants: Only two things are infinite, the universe and the stupidity of mankind, and I'm not sure about the former. &lt;br /&gt; Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
** Earliest references on google books seem to be two 1969 books by [[w:Fritz Perls|Frederick S. Perls]], the founder of gestalt therapy. In one, ''Gestalt Therapy Verbatim'', he claims to have heard it from Einstein, writing 'As Albert Einstein once said to me: &quot;Two things are infinite: the universe and the human stupidity.&quot;' In another book, &quot;Ego, Hunger, and Aggression: the Beginning of Gestalt Therapy&quot; he attributes it to &quot;a great astronomer&quot; and then refers to Einstein separately in the next sentence: 'it is not surprising to learn that a great astronomer said: &quot;Two things are infinite, as far as we know — the universe and human stupidity.&quot; To-day we know that this statement is not quite correct. Einstein has proved that the universe is limited.' So it's not clear whether in this second quote he's implying that Einstein was the astronomer who said the first thing but then later revised his opinion about the size of the universe (an idea Einstein was suggesting at least as far back as 1920, see [http://www.bartleby.com/173/31.html here], though he never actually &quot;proved&quot; it, or if in this quote he's imagining the astronomer as a separate person, and the two quotes are just inconsistent (whether because he wanted to attribute the quote to someone important-sounding, or because he just remembered it differently in the two books). Also, it says [[w:Fritz Perls#Life|here]] that ''Ego, Hunger, and Aggression'' was originally published in 1942, though the version on google books is from 1969, so it might be a later edition and I don't know if the quote about the astronomer and human stupidity was in the original or if it was added in a later revision (&quot;The Quote Investigator&quot; seems to say [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/universe-einstein/#more-173 here] that it was in a 1940s version, I guess either 1942 or the second edition in 1947). Anyway, seems pretty dubious to me. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:18, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
** Also, it may be unrelated, but in the 1920 book &quot;My Second Country&quot; by Robert Dell, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=iXpHAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA276#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false page 276] I found a somewhat similar quote: &quot;Renan said that the only thing that gave him any conception of infinity was human stupidity&quot;. And if you search google books for keywords &quot;Renan&quot;, &quot;infinity&quot;, and &quot;stupidity&quot; you find others, including [http://books.google.com/books?id=cTPmAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=renan%20infinity%20stupidity&amp;pg=PA1126#v=onepage&amp;q=renan%20infinity%20stupidity&amp;f=false this one from 1915] which is even closer to the one Perls attributes to &quot;a great astronomer&quot;--in this case, the quote is &quot;He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity.&quot; [[w:Ernest Renan|Ernest Renan]] was not an astronomer, but he was a philosopher who apparently had an interest in the idea of an infinite universe, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=N04oAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA204#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 204 of 'Life of Ernest Renan'] from 1895 (search google books for &quot;Ernest Renan infinity&quot; for more). According to [http://www.evene.fr/citations/mot.php?mot=betise this page] the original French version was &quot;La bêtise humaine est la seule chose qui donne une idée de l'infini&quot; and it comes from [http://www.archive.org/details/dialoguesetfrag02renagoog &quot;Dialogues et fragments philosophiques&quot;], though when I searched the text for the word &quot;humaine&quot; I couldn't find the quote there. I suppose it's possible the quote was misattributed to Renan before it was misattributed to Einstein; searching google books for &quot;bêtise humaine&quot; and &quot;l'infini&quot;, some attribute it to Voltaire...and [http://books.google.com/books?id=9NEaAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA465#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this 1904 book] gives a different version on p. 465, &quot;Ce n'est pas l'immensité de la vôute étoilée qui peut donner le plus complétement l'ideé de l'infini, mais bien la bêtise humaine!&quot; which translates roughly to &quot;it is not the starry sky that can give the most complete idea of the infinite, but human stupidity!&quot; which sounds a lot like the Einstein quote and is from before Einstein was famous...[http://books.google.com/books?id=lBUbAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA19#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this 1903 book] also gives the same quote at the bottom of p. 19. Meanwhile the book &quot;Des vers&quot; by Guy de Maupassant, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP9#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 9] that it's from 1880, also has a quote from a letter by Gustav Flaubert on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 21], &quot;Cependant, qui sait? La terre a des limites, mais la bêtise humaine est infinie!&quot; which translates to &quot;But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!&quot; It may just be an old cliché rather than something Flaubert invented, [http://books.google.com/books?id=n9cOAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA273#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page] which is also dated 1880 but is from a different author says something similar (&quot;Aujourd'hui je sais qu'il n'y a pas de limites à la bêtise humaine, qu'elle est infinie&quot; or &quot;today I know that there is no limit to human stupidity, it is infinite&quot;). Anyway, regardless of whether Renan said a quote like this, do you folks think this is enough to put it in the &quot;misattributed&quot; section, or at least &quot;disputed&quot;? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:43, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
**: This manner of speaking strikes me as very uncharacteristic of Einstein, but it might be included in the Misattributed section if it is widely attributed in sources that might reasonably be considered reliable. I am not enthusiastic about listing everything that circulates on the web or mostly appears in unreliable sources, particularly for someone like Einstein to whom practically everything has been attributed sometime by somebody. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 13:29, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
***: In the &quot;sourced&quot; section I agree we should only put quotes with good sources (either Einstein's own writings/speeches or someone who knew him personally). But when there's specific evidence that a given quote is misattributed, I think it's good to add it to the &quot;disputed&quot; or &quot;misattributed&quot; sections, so it can be &quot;debunked&quot; for people looking for it. The problem in this case is that it's a little ambiguous, both in terms of whether Perls' two mentions of this quote are inconsistent with each other (in the earlier one it does sound like the &quot;great astronomer&quot; is separate from Einstein, but it's not totally clear), and in terms of whether the similar quote attributed to Ernest Renan earlier (&quot;it is not the starry sky that can give the most complete idea of the infinite, but human stupidity!&quot;) can be considered an &quot;earlier version&quot; of the quote attributed to Einstein even though they aren't exactly the same. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:52, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert Einstein#Disputed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:23, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
** &quot;written to a friend&quot;, according to http://books.google.com/books?id=Zg2bYwogl2IC&amp;pg=PA4&amp;dq=Unthinking+respect+for+authority+is+the+greatest+enemy+of+truth.&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=8vU-TpnFJcXx0gH3x8DDAw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=3&amp;ved=0CDMQ6AEwAjgK#v=onepage&amp;q=Unthinking%20respect%20for%20authority%20is%20the%20greatest%20enemy%20of%20truth.&amp;f=false
*** from the bottom of page 78 to the top of p. 79, there's a little more detail on the context in ''The Private Lives of Albert Einstein'', see [http://books.google.com/books?id=zY7FE9ZyDO0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA79#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false here]: &quot;To Jost Winteler he wrote that he would 'make it hot' for Drude by publishing his criticisms in a skilfully humiliating article. 'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth,' he declared.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:45, 8 August 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1900s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:36, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve
** variant: We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. 
:{{done}}.  Sourced and added to main article. Exist in Out of my later life, 1995 edition p.261. Verifiable by look inside on Amazon.

* Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:57, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* What does a fish know about the water in which it swims all its life?
** Memoirs?
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. Not clear if the saying about the fish (which I've heard before in other contexts) was originated by Einstein or if he was just repeating a saying that was already common in his time. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:03, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.
:{{done}}. I cited and added a fuller version of this, with original German, to the article. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 16:46, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

* Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
**Someone has already sourced this, it appears in the [[Albert Einstein#Essay to Leo Baeck .281953.29|Essay to Leo Baeck]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 14:38, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:47, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:52, 9 November 2011 (UTC)

* You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
** Appears in ''Einstein on Peace'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=zyMQAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22You+cannot+simultaneously+prevent+and+prepare+for+war%22#search_anchor p. 397]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:00, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:55, 13 December 2011 (UTC)


* You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
** Probably bogus; a search on Google Books for &quot;no cat&quot; and the name Einstein turns up no reference to the anecdote prior to he Jonathan Lear's 1988 &quot;Aristotle: the desire to understand&quot;, which refers to it as &quot;perhaps apocryphal&quot;. [[User:Abb3w|Abb3w]] 15:27, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
** Doing a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=telegraph+cat+pull+tail advanced google book search with words &quot;telegraph&quot;, &quot;cat&quot;, &quot;pull&quot; and &quot;tail&quot;], and restricting the date range from 1800-1988, I find the first result is [http://books.google.com/books?id=8g0OAQAAIAAJ Real People: Thomas Alva Edison], a book from 1950. Based on that clue I tried [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=telegraph+cat+pull+tail+edison adding &quot;edison&quot; to the search terms] and using the same date range, a few books tell a story about Edison where he was given the same type of explanation, except with a dog in place of a cat, and Edinburgh in place of New York and London in place of Los Angeles (see [http://books.google.com/books?id=hh7iAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA188#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this book], for example). Turns out Edison actually wrote down this story in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=NXtEAAAAIAAJ The Diary and Sundry Observations of Thomas Alva Edison]'', p. 216 (you can type &quot;edinburgh&quot; into the &quot;from inside the book&quot; search box to find it).  His anecdote was &quot;When I was a little boy, persistently trying to find out how the telegraph worked and why, the best explanation I ever got was from an old Scotch line repairer who said that if you had a dog like a dachshund long enough to reach from Edinburgh to London, if you pulled his tail in Edinburgh he would bark in London. I could understand that. But it was hard to get at what it was that went through the dog or over the wire.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 10:45, 9 November 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:49, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

== Quote meanings ==

I removed some meanings from quotes where it seemed the meaning was superfluous or detracted from the quote.  Feel free to discuss here if you feel some should be added back. [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 03:08 3 Aug 2003 (UTC)

== &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; a quote? ==

What year did he say his quotes???!!!
Since when is &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; a quote? Are we going to start keeping formulas in Wikiquote? [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 21:01, 18 Aug 2003 (UTC)

It isn't a quote so should not be included. -fonzy

&quot;Bartlett's Familiar Quotation's&quot; includes it, in the editions that I own. —[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

I would replace it with Einstein's wording of the equation taken from a recording of him- that would then be a quote.

: That raises a more generic question - how much stock should we place on what other lists of quotations do, even ones as famous as Bartlett's? [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 00:22, 7 Sep 2003 (UTC)

::It's not even Einstein, but Olinto de Pretto.

Einstien can be quoted as saying &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; ... [http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/sound/voice1.mp3 E=mc&amp;sup2.mp3] ... you can transcribe it if you want ... It should be included. [[User:Reddi|Reddi]]  [I got it transcribed [[User:Reddi|Reddi]] 15:11, 3 Nov 2003 (UTC) ]

: Therefore, all published equations must be wikiquoted. (jlinkous05, May 8 2012, 7:30am UTC)

As he is, indeed, the first one who said it, and as almost everyone on the planet is familiar with it, and not any other physics formulae (some would not even recognize the simple F = ma out of context) I say give it a pass, and let it stay. If only because it is iconic, and defines a huge portion of his body of work in 4 characters. (dpw, 5 Mar 2018)

: He is not the first one to say it. E=mc&amp;sup2; is hinduism and &quot;brahman is the universe&quot;, and really the pantheism of spinoza. About as scientific as ganesh and rig veda. Early newspapers probably expect a nut, and he was it.

As you might expect, the first reference isn't quite in the form that we now know it.  The first reference comes from a paper titled &quot;Ist die Trägheit eines Körpers von seinem Energieinhalt abhängig?&quot; (&quot;Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?&quot;), and it first shows up not as an equation, but a statemtn in the text (p. 228): &quot;if a body releases the energy L in the form of radiation, its mass diminishes by L/V^2&quot; (translated from the original German).

== Mathematician? ==

&quot;Mathematician&quot;? to what theorems did he contribute? &quot;Mathematical or theoretical physicist&quot;, certainly; but I question &quot;Mathematician&quot; (ditto the main article).

: &quot;''Mathematician''&quot;? Yep ... Einstein was well versed in mathematics.
: ''To what theorems did he contribute''?  You don't have to contribute to a theorem to be a Mathematician. 
: He was also a theoretical physicist and experimental physicist (he got his nobel for the later not the prior)
: Sincerely [[User:Reddi|Reddi]]

== Relativity-girl-stove ==

Can someone elaborate on why the quote on relativity-girl-stove got changed again?  I assume that ''Scientific American'' would be a reliable source, no?  If the current version comes from an even better source, can someone tell me what it is?

:I e-mailed the person who made the changes, and he said he got his version from the Internet.  I'm more inclined to believe that SciAm is a more reliable source than the Internet.  Therefore, I've changed it back, and also took the liberty to move the quote to the verified section.

== Mathematician redux ==

Regarding the bit about Einstein being a Mathematician, being well versed in
Mathematics does ''not'' make one a mathematician.  Furthermore, the term
''well-versed'' is subjective at best.  While many laypeople would consider
most physicists to be well-versed in mathematics, we mathematicians generally
would only consider a mathematician to be someone who publishes work on
(usually) abstract mathmatics.  Note publishes, note abstract.  A paper on
physics, or chemistry, or, hell, island biogeography may contain a substantial
amount of math.  But in this context it is being used as a tool to model the
real world; mathematicians study math for its own sake.  Mathematicians with
a predominant interest in the mathematics of physics are generally called
&quot;mathematical physicists&quot;.  Einstein, as much as we all love him, was not
either of these things.  His primary interest was physics, and his published
papers were also on physics.  There is no evidence that he even tinkered in
Math for its own sake.  Heck, the math in his papers wasn't even much more
advanced than linear algebra, PDEs and tensor algebra, all things that I
studied as an undergrad, and none of them new mathematically -- he relied
heavily on Reimannian geometry and Differential topology concepts, none of
them new when his paper was published, and certainly none authored by him.

As you probably are neither a physicist nor a mathematician, let me let you
know: there is a certain about of (friendly) rivalry between the two
disciplines, and mathematicians and physicists both often resent being misappropriated.  Einstein was a physicist, and a good one, but he was not
a mathematician.


I agree with you on that view. It could possibly be argued, however, that he is an applied mathematician -- because he took mathematics and applied it to create a new type of science. His primary activity was Physics, however, and that is how he ought to be described. Because of the public's perception of physicists as mathematicians the laity would name the likes of Einstein as their mathematicians rather than Godel, Cantor, Ramanujan, Gauss or GH Hardy. Despite the use of advanced mathematics in physics, mathematicians and physicists are very different beasts altogether. Physics is a science in the strictest sense. Its primary methodology is the Scientific Method. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematical_beauty Mathematics on the other hand is an art form]. And it abhors the Scientific Method. -- xsistor

== Accuracy of quote ==

The sentence that reads:
&lt;blockquote&gt;The equivalency of matter and energy was originally expressed in the equation m = L/c², which with trivial changes became the far more well known E = mc².&lt;/blockquote&gt;
Since this is mathematically inaccurate, I suspect he didn't say it, rather he likely said
&lt;blockquote&gt;Δm = L/c²&lt;/blockquote&gt;

== Organizing these... ==

These quotes are pretty disorganized right now. I will probably try to add a few, organizing the sourced ones chronologically, and the attributed alphapbetically tonight or tomorrow. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 21:41, 29 Nov 2004 (UTC)

== Mathematician ==

He was a physicist, not a mathematician. No mathematicians consider him one, no physicists consider him one, no historians consider him one. Smart guy, good at math, not a &quot;mathematician,&quot; which is a specific discipline separate from theoretical physics. Some people were both. Einstein was not. This is nothing negative. See [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Albert_Einstein#Einstein.2C_a_.22mathematician.22.3F].

== Rule of the dumb ==

Is there an english version of &quot;''Die Herrschaft der Dummen ist unüberwindlich, weil es so viele sind und ihre Stimmen genauso zählen wie unsere''&quot;? Loosely translated: &quot;The ruling of the dumb people can't be overcome because there are so many of them, and their voice counts as much as ours&quot;. Thanks [[w:User:Chris 73]] 10:57, 15 Jan 2005 (UTC)

:This appears translated in ''Ideas and Opinions'' in the section &quot;Aphorisms for Leo Baeck&quot;: &quot;The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:20, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

-I would translate Stimmen as ''votes'' here, not ''voice''.

== The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. ==

does anyone know if this is truly a quote by Einstein or if it is in fact by Hans Selye like here http://scienceweek.com/2001/sw010316.htm. I heard it was misatributed to einstein possibly due to it being an unatributed quote in The world as I see it http://lib.ru/FILOSOF/EJNSHTEJN/theworld_engl.txt wish i could remember the book i read that in. Thought it might have been in life in the cosmos but couldn't find it. 

--- Here it is: &quot;The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man.&quot; -- Einstein, “What I Believe,” originally written in 1930 and recorded for the German League for Human Rights. It was published as “The World as I See It” in Forum and Century, 1930; in Living Philosphies (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1931); in The World As I See It, 1-5; in Ideas and Opinions, 8-11. The versions are all translated somewhat differently and have slight revisions.[[User:WalterIsaacson|WalterIsaacson]]

== removing a recent addition ==

I doubt the authenticity of many &quot;quotations&quot; of Einstein that are often provided without a source, including several on the article page, but some of these have circulated for years. I am removing one from the page that seems to be of very recent creation, and almost certainly spurious, : 


&lt;blockquote&gt;
: ''In the view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognize, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for supporting such views.'' (p.97)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/069110297X &lt;p&gt;
'''Einstein and Religion: Physics and Theology''' (Paperback)&lt;p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;isbn - 069110297X
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;p&gt;

I can find no evidence that this &quot;quotation&quot; existed anywhere on the web, nor anywhere in the entire world, prior to its posting here on 23 April 2005. At present the only other hits that I encounter in a Google search are of a very few sites, where the material of the entire page has plainly been ''derived'' from that of Wikiquote. I am strongly inclined to believe that this is simply a made-up statement by someone who does not much knowledge of the complex opinions of Einstein, nor much of an attachment to the ideals of rigorous veracity which he greatly exhibited.

Over the years I have read ''many'' of Einstein's own writings, much about him, and have encountered numerous quotations of Einstein that make plain his general embrace of both the importance of  a &quot;cosmic religious feeling&quot; and a rejection of most existing notions and conventional doctrines of a ''personal'' &quot;God&quot;, including explicit statements that endorse some of the concepts of [[Spinoza]].

I feel this project should permit many quotations without a source in the &quot;attributed&quot; sections of articles, yet, those which are of such content as stands contrary to known and sourced quotations, should be investigated, and not be too readily retained, ''especially'' if there is no evidence of them ever having been cited elsewhere, prior to their posting here. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 10:37, 9 Jun 2005 (UTC)

What is the sense in highlighting some of the quotes? Just because some of the editors here perceive them to be important does not mean that Einstien also agrees with the subjective judgement implied.
When something is emphasised it implies that it is the origional authors emphasis and does not represent the full picture of what einstien himself had to say by making the unemphasised quotes seem trivial.

:Einstein didn't say ''quotes'' even -- he usually talked, or wrote, at length. The very act of quoting is deciding some part is more meaningful than others. Bolding partial quotes means that the bold part is more meaningful than the rest, which was mostly left for context. Usually it's because the bold part is famous in general. ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 09:28, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

*I added the above discussed quote with its original source.  I don't see how Achilles would have trouble finding it pre 23 April 2005 as it is cited in many locations previous,was first said to Prince Hubertus zu Lowenstein in 1941, and published in Lowenstein's book in 1968. Here's the quote with its source:

In view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognize, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views. 
Said to German anti-Nazi diplomat and author Hubertus zu Lowenstein around 1941. Quoted in his book, Towards the Further Shore, London, 1968, 156. 

Although Einstein said he would be considered an atheist &quot;from the point of view of a Jesuit priest&quot;, he repeatedly denied being one in fact.  A Jesuit would consider anyone an atheist who did not believe in the personal anthropomorphic deity of Christianity.  This personal deity is only one part of the spectrum of religious/spiritual beliefs.  Einstein's fits on the other end, where rests the &quot;transcendent&quot; deity completely unconcerned with human affairs.

== German, Swiss or US Citizen? ==

The nationality is not the passport you have. It is rather the place you were born or the place you choose to live. Einstein left Switzerland for good when he decided to recover his German citizenship. He explicitely renounced his German citizenship when got political asylum in the US.
I think that in the case of Einstein, it is more correct to say the he was a German born, US citizen (Not American, please!!).
[[User:Pedron|Pedron]] 20:03, 12 August 2005 (UTC)

: I love that everyone wants to claim him.  But a German-born U.S. citizen is the kid of a U.S. citizen born in Germany.  Einstein was a citizen of Germany, Switzerland, and the U.S.  And yet, he was neither Swiss nor American.  How about calling him a German-born Jew, who was for a time a Swiss citizen, and then became a U.S. citizen in his later years (1940).[[Special:Contributions/99.60.230.175|99.60.230.175]]

== Good source for sourced Einstein quotations ==

Check out [http://www.pupress.princeton.edu/chapters/s6908.html The Expanded Quotable Einstein] by Princeton University Press. The web page has sourced quotes from Chapter 1. --[[User:Nickg|Nickg]] 23:57, 16 August 2005 (UTC)

This is true, I would only expand it to say that he did retain his Swiss citizenship throughout his lifetime. [[User:68.64.213.150|68.64.213.150]] 03:31, 27 August 2005 (UTC)

== Removal of one unlikely &quot;quote&quot; ==

In adding an attributed quote, I alphabetized some recent entries, sourced one, ignored many that are likely spurious (though widely attributed), but deleted this one which had been added in a revision of 14 July 2005 by  203.197.169.20:

:: '''My thinking about God is 'the superintelligent field prevalent in cosmos from where sub-atomic particle gets created and annihilated'. Imagine before such a strong force existence of humans is nothing.'''

It is ungrammatical and unlikely to be a competent translation, if it is based upon any statement he actually made, but there is no evidence of this being attributed to Einstein outside of Wikiquote, and two other sites with pages derived from ours. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 14:39, 22 October 2005 (UTC)

== E=MC2 is not exact ==

{ I don't know whats going on but Einstein E=MC2 is not exact; one must consider the energy that each object absorbs and displays as resonancy, then rotational velocity and angle of impact | Sorry My name is Albert Allen Redditt (I was doing ROOTS geneology research and found out Reddit's were Reddi's in Scotland in 1200's but came from Reddi line from Rome or India prior to scotland?? nice to know we are working on similar things!})
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikipedia:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:71.102.254.114|71.102.254.114]] ([[User talk:71.102.254.114|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/71.102.254.114|contribs]]) 23:26, 15 March 2006  (UTC{{{3|}}})&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt;

I am kapil &amp; a student . e=mc2 is not correct as one must also consider the energy absorbed by the matter present all around the substance producing energy. I think this subject needs a lot more study.
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:122.168.42.249|122.168.42.249]] ([[User talk:122.168.42.249|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/122.168.42.249|contribs]]) 09:36, 11 April 2007  (UTC{{{3|}}})&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

: Folks, it doesn't matter if e = MC Hammer. To the extent that &quot;e = mc&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;&quot; can be considered a quote, it is arguably the most famous &quot;quote&quot; of Einstein's, which makes it worth including here. Note also that the associated item is also an Einstein quote. It's not meant to be the last word on the subject, only a couple of Einsteinian quotes. The equation's accuracy and limitations are not relevant for their inclusion in a quote compendium. Such issues should be analyzed (with proper sources, of course) in the relevant Wikipedia articles. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 10:08, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

::Anyway, the more exact form is &lt;math&gt;E = \frac{mc^2}{\sqrt{1-\frac{v^2}{c^2}}}&lt;/math&gt;[[Special:Contributions/65.96.201.130|65.96.201.130]] 23:56, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

:::Just noticed this. Actually the best and most correct form is E = m&lt;sub&gt;&lt;small&gt;0&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;, &lt;s&gt;I cant get it to do the subscript but m-zero&lt;/s&gt; m&lt;sub&gt;&lt;small&gt;0&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; is the reference frame. Using the full Lorentz version is identical, but only if you specify that v = 0.  :)

:::(A slightly alternative terminology thats a little more computer friendly is E = Mzero * Cvac ^2 )   - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 08:08, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

:::: What matters for Wikiquote's purposes is not what it means or whether readers understand it. (Einstein's use of subscripts was different from what is currently conventional, and varied over time in different contexts, but this can be read correctly either as a statement of total energy (E&lt;sub&gt;T&lt;/sub&gt;) in terms of relativistic mass (m) or as a statement of mass energy (E&lt;sub&gt;M&lt;/sub&gt;) in terms of rest mass (m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;), where total energy is the sum of mass energy and kinetic energy (E&lt;sub&gt;T&lt;/sub&gt;=E&lt;sub&gt;M&lt;/sub&gt;+E&lt;sub&gt;K&lt;/sub&gt;).&lt;!-- What is remarkable is not just that mass at rest possesses energy but that, in terms of relativistic mass, the symmetry of mass and energy collapses the two energy terms into one. --&gt;) What matters here is only that ''Einstein famously said it''. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 18:07, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

::::: I agree with Ninguable, but in any case Lucien86 is incorrect. The symbol m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; is used to represent [[w:Invariant mass|rest mass]] rather than [[w:Mass in special relativity#Relativistic mass|relativistic mass]], and if you don't restrict the equation to the reference frame where the mass is at rest, the full equation should be &lt;math&gt;E^2 = {m_0}^2 c^4 + p^2 c^2&lt;/math&gt;, where p is the relativistic momentum given by &lt;math&gt;p = \frac{m_0 c^2}{\sqrt{1 - v^2/c^2}}&lt;/math&gt;, v being the velocity of the mass in whatever frame you're using. In contrast, if you use the relativistic mass m&lt;sub&gt;r&lt;/sub&gt; (equal to &lt;math&gt;\frac{m_0}{\sqrt{1 - v^2/c^2}}&lt;/math&gt;), then the equation E=m&lt;sub&gt;r&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; works in all frames, although I don't think Einstein was actually using the concept of relativistic mass (nor do most modern physicists) but was just writing the equation in the object's rest frame. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:52, 31 August 2011 (UTC)
:::Except that I never mentioned relativistic mass. I was merely pointing out that the correct form was to use m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; the mass in the rest frame. I merely hadn't bothered to lookup the tag to subscript the zero. Anyway the rest frame is identical to the Lorenz expansion with the velocity v set to zero , which is all I said. You might understand GR but maybe you should learn to read a bit more carefully. :) [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 14:24, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
::::When you said the &quot;Using the full Lorenz version is identical, but only if you specify that v = 0&quot;, I thought it meant you were saying that your version, E=m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;, was better because it would apply even if v was ''not'' 0. If that's not what you meant your comment was a bit confusing (I guess I'm not sure what &quot;the full Lorenz version&quot; means--version of what?), what was supposed to be the advantage of E=m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; over E=mc&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;? When m is presented without a subscript it generally just means the rest mass as well, and plenty of textbooks do just use m for rest mass, m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; is only used by authors who ''also'' talk about the relativistic mass (which, as I said, most modern authors do not), in order to differentiate rest mass from relativistic mass. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:58, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
::: He didn't ''say'' &quot;m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;&quot;, so &quot;m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;&quot; is ''not'' part of the quote. By &quot;m&quot; he generally referred to what we call rest mass, so he was evidently referring to the energy of mass at rest, or to the component of total energy attributable thereto independent of reference frame; but as is often said, it's all relative. As I often say, quotations by their very nature are taken out of context. Call it the ''general theory of the relativity of quotes''. What he meant by what he ''did'' say, or whether he was right or wrong, is not up to Wikiquote. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]]
::::I didn't get what you were saying for a moment there Hyposifl and Ningauble but yes of course it makes sense not to use it. Come to think of it we all use m all the time and whatever the velocity  m is always still written in terms of the the rest frame. I must have been half asleep when I did that - then compounded it with the second comment. :( It was the unsigned guy using the m without the subscript in the relativistic momentum equation that threw me, I use relativistic KE quite a lot and just kind of picked up on using it. You learn something new every time... - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 19:35, 1 September 2011 (UTC)

== If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough ==

Did he say this one: &quot;If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough&quot;? It seems to be attributed to him quite a bit out on the Internet

Citation needed.

Here is one location that provides a citation to the above Einstein quote, [https://www.interaction-design.org/literature/article/kiss-keep-it-simple-stupid-a-design-principle], [[User:eaheslop|eaheslop]] 16:02 UTC, 19 November 2018

Those are 4 dead links and 1 which directly refutes the credit given (albeit contains a comment saying &quot;einstein said this first!&quot;). Great. 18:09, 29 December 2011 (UTC)7

And this one
&quot;It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.&quot;
[http://xona.com/quotes/scientific.html]
[http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins165187.html]
[http://www.indianchild.com/famous_quotes.htm]
[http://www.phnet.fi/public/mamaa1/einstein.htm]
. Thanks! [[User:Ewlyahoocom|Ewlyahoocom]] 08:48, 10 April 2006 (UTC)
&lt;br /&gt;

:Years ago I spotted a similar saying attributed to Einstein: &lt;br /&gt;
:&quot;You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
:But this seems to be partly misattribution and partly a variant.  See under &quot;3. Misattributed&quot; in the article. [[User:Oaklandguy|Oaklandguy]] ([[User talk:Oaklandguy|talk]]) 04:43, 27 January 2014 (UTC)
:
I believe this comes from Michele de Montaigne (1533-1592). I can't recall the French, but it begins, &quot;C'est qui ce conçoit bien, [what you understand well,...] And says something like &quot;If you can't say it simply, then you don't yet understand it well enough.&quot;
:The French quote is actually by [[Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux#The_Art_of_Poetry_.281674.29|Nicolas Boileau]] - The Art of Poetry (1674), Canto I, l. 153&lt;br&gt;Einstein didn't say it, then? Too bad, I liked that formulation better. --[[User:Jules.LT|Jules.LT]] ([[User talk:Jules.LT|talk]]) 21:26, 2 February 2015 (UTC)

==The thinking that got us into this mess==

Here's a quote widely circulated on the Internet and attributed to Einstein:

&quot;The thinking it took to get us into this mess is not the same thinking that is going to get us out of it.&quot;

I can't verify it's authenticity.  I can't invalidate it either.  I'd like the main page to do one or the other.  One source [http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/QuotesPolitics.html] attributes it to ''Ideas and Opinions'' but I don't have that text in a searchable form.

==Einstein and Buddhism: a widely-cited but spurious quotation ==
:''Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and the spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.''

I've personally discussed the reliability of this quote with Einstein scholars (including John Stachel at Boston U, and founding editor of T''he Collected Papers of Albert Einstein''), and with the authors of compilations of Einstein quotations (Thomas J. McFarlane, author of ''Buddha and Einstein: The Parallel Sayings'' and Alice Calaprice, author of ''The New Quotable Einstein'') - none of whom cite it. The upshot is that neither they nor I know of any evidence that Einstein delivered a speech containing this quote. 

Of course, anyone who had unearthed a reliable citation shouldn't hesitate to reinstate the quote - and to inform these scholars, all of whom would be delighted to know about it (as would I)! [[User:Robma]] 10:15, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

: I've moved this quote to a &quot;Misattributed&quot; section and worded a source line to avoid the talk page reference, but include the information presented here. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 13:49, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

: The second version of this statement (in the &quot;Attributed&quot; section) may be authentic: it is said to occur in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman (said by one reviewer to be &quot;two of his closest colleagues in later life&quot;), Princeton University Press, {{ISBN|0691023689}} ; perhaps someone could verify/falsify?  (I had tracked this down on the Web some time back, but I never actually verified it with the book.)  I'm new at this, so I hope I'm posting correctly :) 12:33, 04 May 2006 (UTC) [[User:Dbrett]]
:: Thanks for that source, I will look it up at the Boston Public Library. [[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 22:38, 15 May 2006 (UTC)
:: The word &quot;Buddha&quot; appears in that book once (&quot;Our time is distinguished...&quot;), but I read through it twice and did not see that quote. [[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 23:34, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

: According to the author of the homepage [www.buddha-heute.de] the context that led to the quote can be found in &quot;Einstein: On Cosmic Religion and other opinions &amp; Aphorisms&quot; in the chapter &quot;Cosmic Religion&quot;. Can somebody verify this, please? 21:47, 15 July 2010

Some interesting quotes in that book, which I wrote down just snippets of, thinking they were famous, but turned out to be not so popular:
* &quot;Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.&quot; p. 38 - aphorism
*&quot;I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.&quot; p. 39 - 17 July 53 - unsent
*&quot;The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.&quot; p. 40 - 5 Feb 21
*&quot;Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.&quot; - p. 46 - 30 July 47 - letter
*&quot;Zionism indeed represents...&quot; - p. 53 - 18 Jun 21 - letter
* &quot;It seems hard to sneak a look at God's cards. But that He plays dice and uses 'telepathic' methods... is something that I cannot believe for a single moment.&quot; - p. 68 - 21 Mar 42
* &quot;Philosophy is like a mother who gave birth to and endowed all the other sciences. Therefore, one should not scorn her in her nakedness and poverty, but should hope, rather, that part of her Don Quixote ideal will live on in her children so that they do not sink into philistinism.&quot; - p. 106 - 28 Sep 32
* &quot;There has been an earth for a little more than a billion years. As for the question of the end of it I advise: Wait and see!&quot; - p. 34 - 19 Jun 51
* &quot;If the believers of the present day...&quot; p. 96 - 27 Jan 47 - statement to Christian conf.
[[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 23:46, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

: I've seen the &quot;sneak a look at God's cards&quot; quote cited exactly as above in [[Bill Bryson]]'s ''[[w:A Short History of Nearly Everything|A Short History of Nearly Everything]]'' {{ISBN|0-7679-0817-1}}, p. 146 of 544, footnote). I've seen it credited to &quot;Einstein in a letter to Cornel Lanczos, 21 Mar 1942&quot; in a discussion forum, but have no reliable source for the letter with which to further verify the quote. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 22:58, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

I have the book on “Einstein on Cosmic Religion and Other Opinions &amp; Aphorisms” The only quote related to Buddhism is on P 48

:''Indications of this cosmic religious sense can be found even on earlier levels of development-for example, in the Psalms of David and in the Prophets. The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism, as, in particular, Schopenhauer’s magnificent essays have shown us.'' [http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KSSkO_X1W3g/Td-4cHLRALI/AAAAAAAAALQ/pfZmxq0DqUI/s1600/220622_1676929371034_1471479166_31330755_6288380_o.jpg here]

Not accustom to Wikipedia so I give up on file upload and put it to my blog --[[User:Darth Prin|Darth Prin]] 14:58, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

== Thermodynamics &quot;will never be overthrown&quot; ==

I am trying to find a definitive and sourced quote for Einstein's statement about thermodynamics. Ironcially, entropy seems apply to the statement itself. Below is a partial list of the various quotes I have collected so far. While some of the differences are trival (e.g., &quot;Therefore&quot; vs. Therefore,&quot;), some are quite significant (e.g., &quot;applicability of its concepts&quot; vs. &quot;applicability of its basic concepts&quot;). I don't own a copy of &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, so I'd appreciate it if someone who has a copy could ACCURATELY (!) post the quotation from there. Here is the list:

'''Entropic Variations of Albert Einstein's Quote Regarding Thermodynamics'''

A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more dierent [sic] kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown.

A. Einstein, Autobiographical Notes in Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist P. A. Schilpp (ed.), Library of Living Philosophers, vol VII, p.33, Cambridge University Press, London, 1970.

From http://home.iitk.ac.in/~osegu/entropy_Lieb.pdf


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and more extended is its areas of applicability. Therefore, the deep impression, which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of applicability of its concepts, it will never be overthrown.

&quot;Einstein wrote in his Autobiographical Notes (p. 33)&quot;

From http://www.dailynews.lk/2003/11/20/fea09.html


Earlier in the Notes, Einstein had sung the praises of classical thermodynamics, “the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown”. Now, he explains how the very structure of the theory was influential in the search for a way out of the turn-of-the-century crisis in physics.

A. Einstein. Autobiographical notes. In P. A. Schilpp, editor, Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist, Vol. 1, pages 1–94. Open Court, Illinois, 1969.

From http://132.236.180.11/pdf/quant-ph/0601182


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its area of applicability. Hence the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown.

&quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;

http://www.astro.gla.ac.uk/users/norman/lectures/einsteinlegacy/EinsteinFundamentalsMultipage.pdf


A theory is the more impressive, the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content that, within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts, will never be overthrown.

Albert Einstein, &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, 1949

http://www.brlsi.org/proceed04/science200310b.htm


A theory is more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different are the kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its range of applicability. Therefore, the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made on me. It is the only physical theory of universal content, which I am convinced, that within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts will never be overthrown.

M.J. Klein, Thermodynamics in Einstein's Universe, in Science, 157 (1967), p. 509

http://www.dam.brown.edu/people/yiannis/friends.html


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content which I am convinced will never be overthrown, within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts.

&quot;A. Einstein&quot;

http://musr.physics.ubc.ca/~jess/hr/skept/Therm/

: I've added ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist'' to my Library of Congress research list, but it may take a month or so before I get down there again. They have the 1949, 1951, and 1970 editions. I'll take a look at the oldest one I can scare up. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 14:02, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

--- 
This is from the 1971 edition of &quot;Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist.&quot; The first section of the book is his own &quot;Autobiographical notes.&quot;  His original German text is on one side of the page, the English translation (by the book's editor, Paul Arthur Schilpp) is on the facing page.

Eine Theorie ist desto eindrucksvoller, je grösser die Einfachheit ihrer Prämissen ist, je verschiedenartigere Dinge sie verknüpft, und je weiter ihr Anwendungsbereich ist. Deshalb der tiefe Eindruck, den die klassische Thermodynamik auf mich machte. Es ist die einzige physikalische Theorie allgemeinen Inhaltes, von der ich überzeugt bin, dass sie im Rahmen der Anwendbarkeit ihrer Grundbegriffe niesmals umgestossen werden wird (zur besonderen Beachtung der grundsätzlichen Skeptiker).

A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown (for the special attention of those who are skeptics on principle).

[[User:Wafitzge|Wafitzge]] 17:35, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

== rearanged the entire article? ==

wheres the quotes about intelligence and wisdom and such? [[wikipedia:user:lygophile|lygophile]]13:45, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

: The article, like nearly all &quot;people&quot; articles at Wikiquote has always been arranged primarily in chronological sequences for sourced quotes and sourced works  not by &quot;subject&quot; headings. Those few &quot;people&quot; pages that do retain extensive use subject headings are in need or re-organization along less subjective criteria. Separate pages for &quot;[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]&quot; do exist for quotes by many authors, but the heavy use of sections for themes within pages for individual people has never been widely accepted here. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:20, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

== The supreme goal of all theory... ==

With regard to the attributed &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler&quot; quote, which is listed here under &quot;The supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience,&quot; I wanted to add what may be the German original:

„Das Oberste Ziel aller Theorie ist, die nicht reduzierbaren grundlegenden Elemente zu bilden, wie einfach und nur möglich, ohne zu müssen, die ausreichende Darstellung eines Einzelnen Bezugspunktes der Erfahrung zu übergeben.“ -- Albert Einstein (1933)

I found it on the web only at http://ende.explicatus.org/wiki/Hypothesis -- I have no other information about its veracity or origin. [[User:Peter Kaminski|Peter Kaminski]] 22:34, 16 May 2007 (UTC)

The quote is from a speech and can be found in the following article:
  On the Method of Theoretical Physics. Philosophy of Science, Vol. 1, No. 2. (Apr., 1934), pp. 163-169.
(thanks to JSTOR; see also http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Albert_Einstein for more information) 

In its original context:
&quot;The basic concepts and laws which are not logically further reducible constitute the indispensable and not rationally reducible part of the theory. It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.&quot;


I'm a novice here, and don't know if this is the proper way of adding information - if not I apologise.

Some time ago I tried to track down the original source of &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler&quot;. The earliest citation I could find was Readers Digest 111(666):164, October 1977. Section &quot;Quotable Quotes&quot; has 
EVERYTHING should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein. 

I e-mailed Readers Digest as follows: 
&lt;begin&gt;
To:	'yousaidit@readersdigest.co.uk'
Subject:	Quotable Quotes: October 1977

Dear Sirs,

I recognise that I am probably asking the impossible, but I thought I'd try.

In my field of science, and many others, an oft quoted dictum is attributed to Albert Einstein; &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot; Being a bit of a pedant, and not wanting to quote something I haven't seen, I've been seeking the original source. 

The earliest attribution I've been able to find is to the Reader's Digest in October 1977. I've borrowed that issue from the British Library and found the phrase on page 164 under &quot;Quotable Quotes&quot;. However, as Einstein died on 18 April 1955, the quotations origin must be earlier.

By any chance, do you have any record of the source of the October 1977 item?

With best regards, and thanks in advance,
&lt;end&gt;
to which the response was &quot;I typed the Albert Einstein quote into Google and that brought up very many references.  May I suggest you do the same?&quot;. A further e-mail asking for their source, rather than people citing them, elicited no response.

: This is probably a paraphrase of something he said less succinctly, a generalization of something he said more specifically, or a fabrication of something he might likely have agreed with. There ought to be another corollary for the [[Quotations#On Misquotation|The Rules of Misquotation]]:  &quot;Memorable ideas might as well have been expressed more memorably.&quot; &lt;p&gt; If you believe Reader's Digest's quote attributions, there is a bridge in Brooklyn that I would like to sell you. All they really attest is that the quote is in circulation, not who owns it. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 22:10, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

== Unsourced ==

I believe &quot;Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.&quot; belongs to E.F. Schumacher.
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:212.73.175.238|212.73.175.238]] ([[User talk:212.73.175.238|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/212.73.175.238|contribs]]) 01:16, 4 July 2007  (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

::In this matter, Ed, absence of evidence ''is'' evidence of absence, though indeed not &quot;hard evidence&quot;. You made the right call. [[User:Lionheart|Lionheart]] 18 Jan 2010

The Einstein and Stupidity quote may be related to a quote from Ideas and Opinions (p. 38) which does not mention the universe, but does say &quot;The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.&quot; [[:Wikipedia:User:Schissel|Schissel]] (from over on Wikipedia. Jan 6 2008. found this by searching on Google books.)

&quot;The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.&quot;   At least the last sentence appears to have been published in &quot;New Statesmen&quot; April 16, 1955 (or 1965, sources vary).  New Statesmen, for those years, doesn't appear to be online yet.  [[User:Macronym|Glen Johnson]] 06:37, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
:Thank you for the source (personal, not wiki-related). I found the quote in Watchmen, which doesn't source it. [[Special:Contributions/65.96.201.130|65.96.201.130]] 23:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

== Viereck interview ==

Someone removed the quotes from the Viereck interview, and I'm not sure why, so I've restored them.  Are the quotes inaccurate, is the source bogus?  What was the rationale for removing those quotes? [[User:Ed Fitzgerald|Ed Fitzgerald]] 15:15, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

== Is this Einstein? ==

Here's a quote that gets a lot of air time:

: ''A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.'' - '''New York Post, 28 November 1972'''

[http://austpsychocouns.blogspot.com/2007/09/albert-einstein-on-mental-unity-for.html] [http://www.ivu.org/history/northam20a/einstein.html]

Question:  How was Einstein quoted in ''1972?''

Was this something published posthumously, or is this just bunk?

[[User:LionKimbro|LionKimbro]]

: Such citations can be of someone's ''immediate'' source, and it might even indicate the date of the first translation or publication of the expression in this form. Many of Einstein's most famous statements are translations from German, and it is similar to thoughts expressed or translated in similar fashion elsewhere. In some works the ''ultimate'' source is stated to be a letter from 1950, but I find no quotations of it earlier than 1972. It was also published in ''The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists'' in 1981, which can probably be trusted as reliable, and in many books, so I will add it to the page with the NY Post citation as the earliest I have found. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 06:25, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Is this Einstein?

:&quot;If you strive for mediocrity, you are doomed to achieve it.&quot; &lt;i&gt;&lt;small&gt;left on 20:25, October 29, 2007 by 69.229.108.204&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/i&gt;

::I don't find it in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005), nor can I find another source for it. [[User:Ed Fitzgerald|Ed Fitzgerald]] 06:12, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

==Nationality==

Albert Einstein was an Korean, not a German. Please fix this. [[Special:Contributions/88.104.13.228|88.104.13.228]] 08:45, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
: He was born in Germany, and the periods of his citizenship are listed in the Wikipedia as : 
::German (1879–96, 1914–33)
::Swiss (1901–55)
:: American (1940–55)
: He actually became most famous, and did most of his theoretical work, while a citizen of Switzerland. ~ [[User:EO|EO]] 09:38, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
:: Korean?!  Is this some sort of joke? -- 14:52, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

Germany was exclusively ''jus sanguinis'' right up until 1990, and Jews were not permitted citizenship until after World War II. They weren't even legally allowed to call themselves &quot;Germans;&quot; that much, at least, is correct. So was Einstein really a German citizen?
: This is not true.  Jews were full German citizens ever since there was a Germany to be a citizen ''of'', except from 1935 to 1945, which is after Einstein renounced his German citizenship anyway. -- [[Special:Contributions/76.15.128.196|76.15.128.196]] 14:52, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

== Bhagavad Gita quote ==

Very much doubt Einstein ever said that, but perhaps someone can provide a source? It's just hindu propaganda methinks.
: {{unsigned|62.78.191.151}} 

: I removed this &quot;quote&quot; as almost certainly fabricated, as a google search indicates no published sources of it prior to 2005, and that book merely cites an internet web page as its source:

::When I read the Bhagavad-Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous. 

:Though Einstein respected many traditions the stated views are directly contrary to most of his known opinions regarding traditional faiths and his notions of God. ~ [[User:Dragon Warrior|Dragon Warrior]] 19:08, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

== Buddhism ==

''Albert Einstein, The Human Side'' has no reference to Buddhism, according to Google Books. Perhaps we should remove it altogether? --[[User:Radarshare|Radarshare]] 05:04, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
: Good idea.--[[User:Cato|Cato]] 17:54, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

== Did you know? ==

Albert was not Jewish!!!
[[Special:Contributions/68.223.206.108|68.223.206.108]] 17:09, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

:Oh please!! Although the Einsteins were not religiously observant Jews, they - including Albert - were nonetheless Jewish by ancestry--and by culture. [[User:Rico402|Rico402]] 19:14, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

== A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful ==

Is there any '''real''' proof that Einstein said: ''&quot;The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.&quot;''. I see this quote mentioned a lot, especially the variant (''&quot;to live [...] those who do evil, [...] those who look on and do nothing.&quot;''), but there are no sources. The source Wikipedia uses is a book called Breakthrough: Israel in a Changing World. This book can be read on-line ([http://books.google.com/books?id=iWkzKAMOs88C]) and on the mentioned page, it says: ''&quot;Albert Einstein once said: [...]&quot;''. Again, the question remains: did Einstein '''really''' say this. Ever. Anywhere. As far as I can tell there is no proof for this, at all. A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful. If a former Israeli Minister - that is what Gad Yaacobi was - says that Albert Einstein '''once said''' this, is that really a useful source? --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 14:33, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
:I will soon remove said quote from the article, since even via [http://books.google.com/ Google Books] I cannot find a single book that tells us where and when Einstein would have said this. It's popular fiction. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 12:22, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
:: I have created a disputed section for the page and moved the quote there, with further notes on the available sources. I believe that any widely quoted or misquoted statement should be included on the attributed author's page as either a sourced, misattributed or disputed statement. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:23, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
:::Good point, I like your solution. Thanks. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 02:07, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
:The source is Einstein's work ''Tribute to Pablo Casals'' (30 March, 1953): &quot;Was ich an ihm besonders bewundere, ist seine charaktervolle Hal­tung [...]. Er hat klar erkannt, daß die Welt mehr bedroht ist durch die, welche das Übel dulden oder ihm Vorschub leisten, als durch die Übeltäter selbst.&quot; --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 00:33, 1 October 2009 (UTC)

== Quote context: I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference! ==

context is unfortunatelly uknown to me yet ;(
* That line is from [[Jack Kerouac]], who used it to sum up the (his) philosophy of the [[w:Beat Generation|Beat Generation]]. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 12:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

== Missing quote? ==
I think I miss this one: &quot;It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not entirely strangled the holy curiosity of enquiry&quot;

== Quote about too much reading ==

I tried finding a source for the widely quoted ''&quot;Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.&quot;'' I found a variant [http://books.google.com/books?id=qLr1xG9ZUS0C&amp;pg=PA87&amp;dq=reading here], where it is quoted as being told to &quot;M. K. Wisehart, ''A Close Look at the World's Greatest Thinker'', American Magazine, June 1930&quot;. I've added this quote, but if someone can find the magazine itself, it would be better. [[User:Shreevatsa|shreevatsa]] 01:30, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
: In case anyone else is curious, I looked up the June 1930 issue of American Magazine at a library, and this quote is indeed there, exactly as quoted. [[User:Shreevatsa|shreevatsa]] 03:28, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

== definition of insanity... ==

According to my research, Einstein was indeed first to use the phrase. Reference is Letters to Solovine: 1906-1955. Clearly this predates the other mentioned source.
11/30/2009 {{Unsignedip|173.22.33.251}}
: I see the claim in several unreliable sources on the web, but no response when anyone asks for specific page or context. The GoogleBooks copy of the 1987 edition of ''Letters to Solovine'' does not show any instances of the words &quot;insanity&quot; or &quot;insane&quot;. Many books quote the letters, but GoogleBooks shows none that quote this aphorism. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 21:04, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

::I found a 1925 New Yorker that attributes the phrase to writings of Einstein [http://books.google.com/books?id=giwnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=insanity+%22expecting++a+different%22&amp;dq=insanity+%22expecting++a+different%22&amp;lr=&amp;as_drrb_is=b&amp;as_minm_is=0&amp;as_miny_is=1000&amp;as_maxm_is=0&amp;as_maxy_is=1980&amp;as_brr=0&amp;cd=1 here].  I moved the quote to disputed. - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 05:50, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

:::This however may be a misattribution and the source of modern misattributions (as old New Yorkers became searchable). - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 06:00, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

:::That source wasn't right, the text was modern, mentions Kate Bush.  I did find an older reference though [http://books.google.com/books?lr=&amp;cd=2&amp;as_brr=0&amp;as_drrb_is=b&amp;as_minm_is=0&amp;as_miny_is=1000&amp;as_maxm_is=0&amp;as_maxy_is=1980&amp;id=PbsYAQAAIAAJ&amp;dq=insanity+%22expecting+different+results%22&amp;q=%22Insanity+has+been+defined+as+doing+things+the+same+way+and+expecting+different+results%22+#search_anchor here]. - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 07:26, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

::::Stillwaterising is correct.  The &quot;New Yorker&quot; source is an [http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/01/29/070129fa_fact_sedaris?currentPage=all article] by David Sedaris, published in the January 29, 2007 issue.

:::::The earliest quote on google books I found using the phrase &quot;expecting a different&quot; and the word &quot;insanity&quot; was from 1979: [http://www.google.com/search?tbs=bks:1,bkv:a,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201980&amp;tbo=p&amp;q=insanity+%22expecting+a+different%22&amp;num=10 'As Albert Einstein famously put it, &quot;The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.&quot; '] But there might be some alternate phrasing I haven't thought of (like using the word 'madness' instead of 'insanity', or 'expecting different results' or 'anticipating a different outcome' or whatever) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 08:30, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::Scratch that, google seems to have messed up the date on the source above, which actually seems to be volume 71 of [http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/Law/ForeignRelationsandNationalSecur/?view=usa&amp;ci=9780195324754 this series], which discusses the 2006 Dubai Ports World operations deal (so unless time travel was involved it can't actually have been published in 1979!) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 09:33, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::: Alas, as much as I love GoogleBooks, their bibliographic data has so many errors that it simply cannot be taken at face value – always verify. I have been reporting errors via their feedback link, but they are very slow to fix them. I reported this particular error several months ago. (Cf. discussion at [[Talk:Insanity]].) ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 14:12, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

:::::::: [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/insanity_is_doing_the_same_thing_and_expecting_different_results/ This page] has some interesting speculation about the origin of the phrase, with a lot of people remembering the the phrase being widely used in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings going way back, though I suppose it's possible they only picked it up after reading it in [[Rita Mae Brown]]'s 1983 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=rGBobolHnxUC&amp;q=expecting-different-results+same-thing+date:1800-1990&amp;dq=expecting-different-results+same-thing+date:1800-1990&amp;lr=&amp;num=100&amp;as_brr=0&amp;ei=rF8qScT2IYPMyQS76e2WAg&amp;pgis=1 Sudden Death] which seems to be the earliest confirmed written version. Too bad google books only features the 1992 edition of [http://books.google.com/books?id=DxR-WzCKfk0C&amp;pg=PA10&amp;dq=%22insanity+is+doing+the+same+thing%22+date:1900-1990&amp;lr=&amp;num=100&amp;as_brr=0&amp;ei=XmMqSarnEIPqyASXxaWOBA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22insanity%20is%20doing%20the%20same%20thing%22%20date%3A1900-1990&amp;f=false The Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet Step 2: A Promise of Hope], and the [http://www.amazon.com/Step-Two-Promise-Hope-1426b/dp/9990108498 original 1980 edition] of the book {{ISBN|9990108498}} seems to be impossible to find when I enter the ISBN on [http://www.bookfinder.com/?mode=advanced&amp;new_used=*&amp;first_ed=&amp;signed=&amp;currency=USD BookFinder] or [http://www.bookhq.com/ BookHQ]...it would be a lead worth following up on! I wonder if it might be possible to get the 1980 edition with an inter-library loan? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:04, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::::: In her book ''[http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Quotable-Einstein-Albert/dp/0691138176 The Ultimate Quotable Einstein]'', p. 474, Alice Calaprice list this aphorism among those misattributed to Einstein.  She also cites [[Rita Mae Brown]]'s book ''Sudden Death'' as the actual source, with thanks to Barbara Wolff. [[User:Wjh|Wjh]] 01:19, 5 February 2011 (UTC)
:::::::::::It does appear in the 1983 Brown novel, on page 68 (according to Google Books).[http://books.google.com/books?ei=BjFNTZj7E4K6sAOe4ZHACg&amp;ct=result&amp;id=rGBobolHnxUC&amp;dq=%22Sudden+Death%22+inauthor%3Arita-mae-brown&amp;q=insanity#search_anchor] &amp;nbsp; &lt;b&gt;[[User:Will Beback|&lt;font color=&quot;#595454&quot;&gt;Will Beback&lt;/font&gt;]]&amp;nbsp; [[User talk:Will Beback|&lt;font color=&quot;#C0C0C0&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/font&gt;]]&amp;nbsp; &lt;/b&gt; 11:17, 5 February 2011 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Yes, as quoted in the [[Rita Mae Brown]] article. The question is whether somebody else said it first. Although Brown has been known to borrow popular phrases, there is no credible evidence that this was not her own. Poor old Einstein gets everything but the book of Genesis attributed to him, and maybe parts of that too. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 16:05, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

I believe that this quote actually originated with a psychologist by the name of George Kelly.  However, the original quote was modified to what we see today.  George Kelly, in his book entitled _The Psychology of Personal Constructs_ (1955), stated that personality dysfunction is the result of, “any personal construction which is used repeatedly in spite of consistent invalidation”.

: The above is unsigned.  Can anyone verify it, provide better citation, quote etc?

:: I went looking and found [http://davidcenter.com/documents/Journal%20Articles/GEORGE_A_KELLY.pdf this pdf] which says &quot;Finally, pathology is defined by Kelly as “any personal construction which is used repeatedly in spite of consistent invalidation (Kelly in Pervin, 1970, p. 355).&quot; I suppose that's a better source than nothing, and it's citing 1970 edition, earlier than the Brown article from 1983. [[User:Lirusaito|Lirusaito]] ([[User talk:Lirusaito|talk]]) 15:18, 20 July 2016 (UTC)

There is a detailed analysis, updated 31 July 2019, in https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/23/same/. Maybe it should be included in the references. [[User:Mcljlm|Mcljlm]] ([[User talk:Mcljlm|talk]]) 02:00, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

== about morality ==

There is nothing divine about morality；it is a purely human affair.

-------------------------------------
I believe in it.  it is truth.                [[User:All my loving|All my loving]] 01:39, 8 December 2009 (UTC)
:That's from Einstein's ''The World As I See It''. [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;pg=PA29&amp;dq=%22There+is+nothing+divine+about+morality%EF%BC%9Bit+is+a+purely+human+affair%22&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;cd=1#v=onepage&amp;q=%22There%20is%20nothing%20divine%20about%20morality%EF%BC%9Bit%20is%20a%20purely%20human%20affair%22&amp;f=false] [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 01:04, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

== i don't know who to attribute this quote to, but i think Einstein knows. ==

'In it's due time I will hasten it'

Einstein's regard for the Hebrew bible is relevant and notable to the following question.

2 first things

Something from nothing

HaShamayim

VAT

HaAretz

what does the following indicate to other people?

many thanks!

[[Special:Contributions/99.224.215.151|99.224.215.151]] 17:12, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

==External site==
General thoughts on this one? [http://www.alberteinsteinsite.com/ Albert Einstein Website Online] I'm concerned that its main job is promotion for a book and screenplay. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 02:10, 24 December 2009 (UTC)

:I am thinking [http://www.alberteinsteinsite.com/ Albert Einstein Website Online] is a good Einstein site with a good assembly of Einstein links.  It is not concerning me that it is supporting an Einstein book and screenplay.  Einstein was a great man and I am very much liking books about him.  

:It is concerning, however, the issue of equality.  Mister Gordon of cartoon, what is the official policy? [http://www.westegg.com/einstein/ Albert Einstein Online] looks like it is only to make ads and give money to person naming &quot;Morgan&quot;.  Plus it is old with many bad links.  Also, the last is even more bad [http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition:] - I go to read about Einstein and see many ads for making English paper money.  Also it is redundant, already there is a link to this under Quotes About Einstein.  So I prefer the site without ads, for Einstein book or screenplay, over others with ads.  That is just humble opinion of one Einstein fan.  So much thanking you for your listening. Keep up the good work Wikipeoples's!

:Irony = Living Einstein is not alive (bad link). + Einstein on Science and Religion now goes to incorrect 'dome of sky'. [[User:Lastlionofkenya|Lastlionofkenya]] 03:48, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
::''It is concerning, however, the issue of equality''
:::I agree! This isn't a Wikipedia biography page, and I think external sites that aren't directly related to quotes should go (for instance, Einstein family photos). I'm not sure what the links policy is - I'll look at it tomorrow. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 04:01, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

== Too much bolding, arbitrary eye sore ==

Not only does it make the quotes hard to read, often the parts highlighted aren't any more important than the rest of the quote.--[[Special:Contributions/67.132.247.216|67.132.247.216]] 21:08, 30 December 2009 (UTC)
:I'm not sure what the convention is. In mid-stream text, however, the intention is to highlight the parts that are commonly quoted. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 21:31, 30 December 2009 (UTC)

==Einstein's religious/spiritual beliefs:  The Second Thing We Need to Know About Him ?==

The second sentence of the wiki:

''As a Jewish scientist he had to flee from Nazi Germany, but it should be noted that he did not believe in traditional notions of a personal god, but rather perceived God to be a &quot;superpersonal&quot; entity, in ways that he declared to be inspired by Baruch Spinoza's and Arthur Schopenhauer's ideas. He also asserted that the Jewish scriptures, Jesus, Gautama Buddha and other religious figures were important guides for the ethical advancement of humanity.''

Is this wiki-vandalism ?  I'm sorry, but first impressions are important, and a wiki that is constructed this poorly is doomed from the outset.  Einstein did not win a Nobel Prize for his work in Theology, and I think it is idiocy to have this statement in the very first paragraph.

[[User:Jonny Quick|Jonny Quick]] 20:47, 24 January 2010 (UTC)Jonny Quick
:Agreed, and I've snipped it; the intro is there for concise identification, not an essay on his beliefs. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 22:07, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

:: I agree that intro was far more substantial than was necessary, and did not object to its removal after being there for a quite surprising amount of time, but wish to note that it originally was placed there as an honest and simple declaration of his views after substantial efforts to distort his actual position on a some matters had been occurring in the intro. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 16:13, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

:: I just reviewed the record and for several year the intro had simply been no more than: &quot;'''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[w:1879|1879]] - [[18 April]], [[w:1955|1955]]) German-born Swiss-American [[w:physicist|physicist]].&quot;

:: On 13 February 2007 a then-respected editor added:
::: He is best-known for his Special and General Theories of Relativity, but contributed in other areas of physics.  He became famous for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]] (for which he received the Nobel Prize) and was also a pioneer of [[w:quantum mechanics|quantum mechanics]].  As a Jew, he had to flee from Nazi Germany.  While he ceased to practise Judaism as an adult, he believed strongly in God's existence, as is shown by many of his quotes.

::I thought this language was a bit strongly stilted toward some conventional notions of God, which plainly Einstein had objections to, and on 22 February 2007 added a bit more precision to counter that; I was actually surprised that it stood without significant alteration for nearly 3 years:
::: As a Jewish scientist he had to flee from Nazi Germany, but it should be noted that he did not believe in traditional notions of a ''personal'' god, but rather perceived God to be a &quot;[[Albert_Einstein#Science_and_Religion_.281941.29|superpersonal]]&quot; entity, in ways that he declared to be inspired by [[Baruch Spinoza]]'s and [[Arthur Schopenhauer]]'s ideas. He also asserted that the [[w:Tanakh|Jewish scriptures]], [[Jesus]], [[Gautama Buddha]] and other religious figures were important guides for the ethical advancement of humanity.
:: It was a factual statement of significant truth, and thus endured — but I had no objections when I did notice it being removed a few months ago. Noticing these comments again, I just thought the history of how it came to be might have some relevance to the context of the discussion here. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 16:44, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== Birth control quote ==

Is this an authentic quote by Einstein?: “I am convinced that some political and social activities and practices of the Catholic organizations are detrimental and even dangerous for the community as a whole, here and everywhere. I mention here only the fight against birth control at a time when overpopulation in various countries has become a serious threat to the health of people and a grave obstacle to any attempt to organize peace on this planet.”

Re: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AAmerican_Freedom_and_Catholic_Power

== mathematicians ==

Is this quote real or fake? Can someone find a reliable source for it?
:&quot;Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.&quot;
--[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] 12:39, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

::This has now  been sourced: 

::* Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
::** As quoted in &quot;To Albert Einstein's Seventieth Birthday&quot; by A. Sommerfelt in ''Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist'' (1949) edited by Paul A. Schilpp

::I also encountered a couple slight variants that appeared in recent years, but these seem to be merely paraphrases of the original and I did not include them as substantially quoted variants in the article. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:05, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

:::Thanks! I had also reached to the [[w:Wikipedia:WikiProject Resource Exchange/Resource Request#Einstein quote|WikiProject Resource Exchange]] at Wikipedia, where [[w:User:Dr pda|Dr pda]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=351428728&amp;oldid=351398016 presented] very detailed information about the origin of the quote, most of it I have [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=1099518&amp;oldid=1097757 added] to the entry you've wrote. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] 21:11, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== symbols based on specific religions ==
[[File:Ancient version of the Taijitu by Lai Zhi-De, sideways.svg|144px|thumb|right|To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness.]]
[[File:TaoismSymbolWhite.PNG|144px|thumb|right|Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible concatenations, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable.]]
[[File:Tree-of-Life Flower-of-Life Stage.jpg|144px|thumb|right|Scientific endeavor is a natural whole the parts of which mutually support one another in a way which, to be sure, no one can anticipate.]]

I don't think symbols that are particular to a single religion should be used for quotes that aren't about that specific religion. Kalki's justification for including a Kabbalistic and Taoistic symbol was that these symbols &quot;relate to the quoted statements they are used with in both clear and subtle ways — they are not bound to any fix dogmas, but indicative of mysteries beyond dogmas&quot;. But isn't this a form of editorializing, saying that Kabbalah and Taoism are somehow &quot;not bound to any fixed dogmas&quot;? If someone put in a big Christian cross or a symbol for Scientology to accompany a quote where Einstein was talking about his nondenominational philosophical beliefs, people would probably object. How could we justify using some religious symbols but not others (for quotes that don't discuss any specific religion, by a person who was not a follower of any specific religion) without appearing to endorse the notion that some religions are closer to cosmic truths than others? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:41, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

:Also, on the subject of Kabbalist beliefs in particular, I doubt Einstein would have seen them as much in line with his own thinking, given this quote from [[Albert_Einstein#Albert_Einstein:_The_Human_Side_.281954.29|Albert Einstein: The Human Side]]: ''The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:48, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

: The above quote is a very good one, and one that might go easily overlooked without some image to provide it a greater profile on the page, so I might add one to that. But as the quotes are about religion in general, and there are already quotes related to specific religious traditions with images on the page, when I first added these many years ago, on this highly edited page, I thought that these, actually less bound to many of the normal theistic notions of religion were quite appropriate to the quotes, which relate well to one of my favorite statements by him: 
::  All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom. It is no mere chance that our older universities developed from clerical schools. Both churches and universities — insofar as they live up to their true function — serve the ennoblement of the individual. They seek to fulfill this great task by spreading moral and cultural understanding, renouncing the use of brute force.
: I certainly can agree that dogmas exist, even when they are not recognized as dogmas — especially the ranges of dogma among modern materialists that only overtly religious and mystical traditions involve any form of dogma. I actually assert that some form of dogma is pretty much unavoidable among people, but a willingness to see beyond one's own particular ranges of dogma is always valuable, as Einstein often emphasized. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 17:07, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

::I do think Einstein would have been sympathetic to the Taoist philosophy if he had been aware of it (and I am very sympathetic to it myself), it's just that I think we should avoid the appearance of editorializing, since it's a personal judgment call as to which religions and philosophies are more similar to Einstein's views. I think the best policy is to avoid using religious symbols unless they are accompanying a quote which mentioned that specific religious tradition. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:39, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

::: I am confident that Einstein had at least some acquaintance with Taoist ideas, but even if he is not specifically mentioning Taoism, the most ancient form of the Taijitu symbol is one that predates any specific formal doctrines that might be associated with it (as would the cross, the swastika or the star of [[David]] for that matter), and the images I chose, years ago, for these quotes were employed as symbols I perceived to be only tangentially related to any creeds, and to some extent well-related, graphically and conceptually to the themes he was making statements upon: The most ancient swirling of the Taijitu of dark and light revolving around a stable center which is beyond the definitions of either, evoking well the &quot;sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp&quot; (though that one was actually just chosen today, after your objections to the Vedic AUM symbol, which I also thought to be quite appropriate),  the rather subtle grey on white Taijitu symbol in a quote stating &quot;there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable&quot;, and the Kabbalistic Tree of Life symbol superimposed on the more extensive and universal flower of life symbol — the Tree as something which arises within the flower, (and both patterns arising to perceptions within the mind of the perceiver, within the all pervading Kosmos). ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 18:42, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

:::: I don't think you've addressed the main element of my criticism, which is that by attaching these images to the quotes you are inserting your own opinions about the merits of different religions (or at least their similarity to Einstein's ideas). If it was a Christian cross or a Scientology symbol emerging from a flower, would you be equally happy with that image? If not, isn't that an expression of your opinions about Kabbalism being more in line with Einstein than Christianity or Scientology? Wikiquote does have a [[Wikiquote:Neutral_point_of_view|neutral point of view]] policy. And I don't see how Einstein's quote has anything to do with ideas about the interdependence of the external world with the &quot;mind of the perceiver&quot;, since Einstein seems to have believed in an objective physical world which existed regardless of observation by conscious beings, and that humans are purely physical entities.

:::: I also wouldn't be so sure that Einstein had any real knowledge of Taoism, some of the quotes about Buddhism suggest his acquaintance with it was mainly based on Schopenhauer's writings, which reflected the distorted and overly pessimistic 19th century views of Buddhism. More accurate understanding of Eastern philosophies didn't really become common in the West until the 1950s and '60s. The Taijitu symbol may be very ancient but so is the cross and the star of David, the point is that both are in the present associated with specific religious beliefs. And Einstein's quote doesn't seem to have any great affinity for the symbol anyway, since it doesn't express any idea of the blending or balance of opposites that seems to be central to the meaning of the symbol.

:::: Anyway, if we can't come to agreement on these images, I suggest we wait for others to weigh in here, hopefully some kind of consensus can be reached. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:40, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

== Er ist eine Skala der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht. ==

&quot;It is a scale of proportions which makes the bad difficult and the good easy.&quot;

I don't know the original source but the translation of the German sentence is &quot;He is a scale of proportions....&quot; (which does not make any sense to me), since &quot;Er&quot; means &quot;He&quot; and not &quot;It.&quot; The German translation of the English sentence on the other hand is &quot;Es ist eine Skala der Proportionen...&quot; I suspect that the German sentence is wrong and should be corrected.

:Doing some google book searches for various parts of the quote turned up [http://books.google.com/books?um=1&amp;q=%22Gute+leicht+mache%22+einstein&amp;btnG=Search+Books this snippet] which says: &quot;Der Modulor, von dem Albert Einstein 1946 sagte, es sei eine Skala von Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht mache, war das Ergebnis ...&quot; But then again another search came up with [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;tbo=p&amp;tbs=bks%3A1&amp;q=%22die+das+schlechte%22+einstein&amp;aq=f&amp;aqi=&amp;aql=&amp;oq=&amp;gs_rfai= this snippet] that says: &quot;Als Corbusier 1946 Albert Einstein in Princeton besuchte, soll er ihm am gleichen Abend geschrieben haben: «Es ist eine Sprache der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht.» Le Corbusier meinte: «C'est un ...&quot;  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:53, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
::Also: he's not talking about the Golden Ratio, but about the [[w:Modulor|Modulor]]. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 14:39, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

== Einstein's razor ==

I have editted the reference to Einstein's razor. If it was only a restatement of Occam's razor, which seems to be the pervading opinion, then I doubt that the quotation would be known.  As you may have guessed, I would be in favour of reinstating the entry for Einstein's razor, although a citation of its use is surely neccessary. [[User:Abmcdonald|Abmcdonald]] 12:41, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

== Three rules of work ==

I've been seeing this on the web and wanted to add this to the page, but there is no known source that I could find.

Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

:Seems to be a quote about Einstein's work by physicist John A. Wheeler; I added it to the end of the &quot;quotes about Einstein&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:31, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

== Quote Misattribution? ==

Numerous uncited examples of this quote around the Web, anyone know the source, whether AE or someone else?

&quot;I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking&quot;

Thanks.

:Doing a google book search, the earliest reference seems to be [[w:Ram Dass|Ram Dass]] attributing the quote &quot;I didn't arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind&quot; to Einstein in his book ''Be Here Now'' in 1971 (see the last search result [http://www.google.com/search?q=einstein+%22rational+mind%22+ram+dass&amp;hl=en&amp;tbo=1&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;ei=UKVqTJ_VOcP18AaN9tzrCg&amp;start=10&amp;sa=N here]), but whether he was paraphrasing an actual quote or just misremembering isn't clear. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:13, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

== As simple as possible ==

A possible origin of Einstein &quot;quote&quot;:

*  I also remember a remark of Albert Einstein, which certainly applies to music. He said, in effect, that everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.
** Roger Sessions, “How a ‘difficult’ composer gets that way”, ''New York Times'', January 8, 1950, Arts &amp;amp; Leisure section, [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30615FE3559137A93CAA9178AD85F448585F9 p. 89]

This certainly appears to be a paraphrase—“''in effect''”—and, since it's in the ''New York Times'', it's prominent enough to have been the source of this quotation.


* There is also the other side of the same coin minted by Einstein: “Everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler”—a scientist's defense of art and knowledge—of lightness, completeness and accuracy.
** Louis Zukofsky (June 1950). &quot;Poetry in a Modern Age&quot;. ''Poetry'' '''76''' (3): 177-180. JSTOR [http://www.jstor.org/stable/20591281 20591281].

I was initially quite excited by this since Zukofsky was not just a casual observer of Einstein; he [http://books.google.com/books?id=QNBlAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=+%22albert+einstein:+a+biographical+portrait%22 had translated] ''Albert Einstein: a biographical portrait'' decades earlier.  Maybe there was something to this quote, after all! In Zukofsky's book ''Prepositions'', (and in [http://www.jstor.org/stable/25086823 “An Old Note on WCW”]), it appears that Zukovsky wrote this bit [http://books.google.com/books?id=sBPfUsOE7QcC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;dq=%22as+simple+as+it+can+be%22+1948 in 1948]. But it was first published five months after Sessions's essay in the NYT and, elsewhere, [http://books.google.com/books?id=QNBlAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=sessions Zukofsky apparently quoted other parts of that essay], so I think that the 1948 date is probably wrong or that sentence was added to the essay in 1950. But it could be that the quote actually predates 1950.

Zukofsky also [http://books.google.com/books?id=SByBfdZJGeIC&amp;pg=PA110&amp;dq=%22Everything+should+be+as+simple+as+it+can+be,+Says+Einstein%22 used the quote] in part 12 of his poem “A”.


From the 1960s:

* We try to keep in mind a saying attributed to Einstein—that everything must be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.
** “A Letter From The Publisher”, ''Time Magazine'', Dec. 14, 1962 [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,872923,00.html]

*Albert Einstein is supposed to have said that every proposition should be as simple as possible—but not one bit simpler.
** Harlan Cleveland, “Crisis Diplomacy”, ''Foreign Affairs'', Vol. 41, No. 4 (Jul., 1963), [http://www.jstor.org/stable/20029649 pp. 638-649]


Variants:
* Everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.
* Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
* Things should be as simple as possible, but no simpler.

—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:13, 4 November 2010 (UTC)

== The world is a dangerous place ==

The anonymous tip above about the source of the quote proved to be true.

The “Tribute to Pablo Casals” was solicited for and appeared in the book
''Conversations avec Pablo Casals: souvenirs et opinions d'un musicien''
by José María Corredor (1954). The book was translated into
many languages including German, ''Gespräche mit Casals'' (1954), and 
English, ''Conversations with Casals'' (1957).

The original text from Einstein (Einstein Archive Catalog #34-347), and
as it appeared in the German edition (emphasis added):

* Die Wertschätzung Pablo Casals' als großen Künstler braucht fürwahr nicht auf mich zu warten, denn hierin herrscht Einstimmigkeit unter den Auguren. Was ich aber an ihm besonders bewundere, ist seine charaktervolle Haltung nicht nur gegen die Unterdrücker seines Volkes, sondern auch gegen alle diejenigen Opportunisten, die immer bereit sind, mit dem Teufel zu paktieren. Er hat klar erkannt, daß '''die Welt mehr bedroht ist durch die, welche das Übel dulden oder ihm Vorschub leisten, als durch die Übeltäter selbst'''.

In the French edition:
* &lt;p&gt;Il n'était certes pas nécessaire d'attendre ma voix pour proclamer en Pablo Casals un très grand artiste, car à cet égard les avis autorisés sont unanimes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ce que j'admire cependant particulièrement en lui, c'est sa ferme attitude non seulement à l'endroit des oppresseurs de son peuple, mais également à l'endroit des opportunistes toujours prêts à pactiser avec le diable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Il a su comprendre avec beaucoup de clairvoyance que '''le monde court un plus grand danger de la part de ceux qui tolèrent le mal ou l'encouragent que de la part de ceux-là mêmes qui le commettent'''.&lt;/p&gt; 

In the English  edition:

*It is certainly unnecessary to await my voice in acclaiming Pablo Casals as a very great artist, since all who are qualified to speak are unanimous on this subject. What I particularly admire in him is the firm stand he has taken, not only against the oppressors of his countrymen, but also against those opportunists who are always ready to compromise with the Devil.  He perceives very clearly that '''the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it'''.


Variants:

* The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
* The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 15:38, 11 November 2010 (UTC)

== Excess quotes? ==

Some quotes may exceed [[WQ:LOQ|Wikiquote guidelines]].

These are mostly from before the guidelines were drawn up in 2008. Also, there are many quotes from three essays on science and religion, and two books on Einstein and religion—perhaps a few too many.

I've tried to exclude all notes and quote variants in the word count.

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot;
|+Total quotes from work
|-
!Work
!Total Words
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science (1930)|Religion and Science (1930)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1143
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Mein Weltbild (1931)|Mein Weltbild (1931)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1076
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#My Credo (1932)|My Credo (1932)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|457
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Obituary for Emmy Noether (1935)|Obituary for Emmy Noether (1935)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|243
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Science and Religion (1941)|Science and Religion (1941)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1306
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science: Irreconcilable? (1948)|Religion and Science: Irreconcilable? (1948)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|700
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#The World As I See It (1949)|The World As I See It (1949)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1386
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#&quot;Why Socialism?&quot; (1949)|&quot;Why Socialism?&quot; (1949)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|609
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Einstein and Religion (1999)|Einstein and Religion (1999)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1363
|}

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot;
|+Long single quotes
|-
!Section
!Words
!Start of quote
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1940s|1940s]]
|261
|A wonder of such nature I experienced as a child of 4 or 5 years, when my father …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1940s|1940s]]
|258
|The reciprocal relationship of epistemology and science is of noteworthy kind. … 
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1950s|1950s]]
|303
|The theory of relativity is a beautiful example of the basic character of the modern …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Posthumous publications|Posthumous publications]]
|302
|I just want to explain what I mean when I say that we should try to hold on to physical …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science (1930)|Religion and Science (1930)]]
|255
|It is therefore easy to see why the churches have always fought science and persecuted …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Science and Religion (1941)|Science and Religion (1941)]]
|296
|Even though the realms of religion and science in themselves are clearly marked off from …
|}
{{unsigned|KHirsch|22:00, 16 November 2010}}


: I generally object to needless removal of actual quotes of some interest, far more than such accumulation of them as some might find excessive. Most of the quotes that have been gathered here are widely quoted, or extensions of such quotes placed into context. Loose &quot;guidelines&quot; are such things as I generally do not object to being developed, to the extent they provide some ''basis'' for reasonable arguments for constraint, but unless they actually are derived from ''legal'' mandates, the habit of treating them as imperative is one which I do reject, as an imposition on the proper freedom to provide useful information. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:55, 16 November 2010 (UTC)
:: Although it might be possible to trim a little around the edges, it would not have much impact on the ginormity of the article unless we discard material that actually is fairly widely quoted. If there is something a little grotesque about the quantity of material here (Cf. his remarks beginning &quot;The cult of individual personalities...&quot; at ''Some Notes on my American Impressions'' under [[Albert Einstein#The World As I See It (1949)|The World As I See It (1949)]]), it is a fair reflection of generations of intense public interest in his perspective on a variety of subjects. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 14:23, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

== &quot;A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?&quot; ==

This seems to be floating around everywhere, even having been passed off on the show Criminal Minds as an actual quote, but there doesn't seem to be a reliable source for it anywhere. Not a one. It seems to be all completely hearsay. 

'''01.23.2011''' - Carson

:One day he received from an unknown lady a photograph of himself with a request that he should write a dedication beneath it for her collection. He returned the picture to her with the following verse: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;A thought that sometimes makes me hazy:&lt;br /&gt;Am I — or are the others crazy?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:''Albert Einstein: a documentary biography'', Carl Seelig (1956), p.  194.
:—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:51, 14 February 2011 (UTC)

==Cluttered desk==

A nice quote floating around the net &quot;If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?&quot;.  When it is attributed, it seems to be to Einstein, but is that true?
08:48, 24 May 2011 (UTC)

: As far as I can tell, it is not a genuine quote. I can't find it in any book about Einstein. The earliest I find it at all in Google Books is 2002, and nowhere is any source information given. I see a USENET post from 1992 that says it was on a poster. —[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:07, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

:: The page for [[Laurence_J._Peter]] attributes this to a book of his from 1977. --[[Special:Contributions/90.245.48.148|90.245.48.148]] 16:41, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

== &quot;Posthumous publications&quot; section ==

Some of the quotes in this section are not posthumous publications in the ordinary sense of private letters, journals, unfinished manuscripts, and other ''documents written by him'' but not published during his lifetime. Several of them are merely attributions that give no indication of the origins. I do not think attributions that give no provenance whatsoever can reasonably be labeled &quot;Posthumous publications.&quot; ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 15:34, 5 July 2011 (UTC)

== Paris 6 April 1922 ==

''Address to the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922); French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378] and Berliner Tageblatt (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535])''&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately alberteinstein.info has nothing under the said archive numbers nor under 04/07/1922 nor  04/08/1922. It has 
*[http://new.alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Record/EAR000013202 04/01/1922 french press clipping] &quot;M. Einstein a fait, hier apres-midi, sa premiere conference. ..&quot;
*[http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13229 04/06/1922 french press cartoon]
*[http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13191 04/12/1922 Berliner Tageblatt]  Paul Block, Der verborgene Einstein&lt;br /&gt;
The [http://www.scribd.com/doc/966376/La-theorie-de-la-relativite-dEinstein-a-la-Societe-francaise-de-philosophie record of the event] on 6 April 1922 contains neither Allemagne nor juif nor cosmopolite and France only in &quot;Collège de France&quot;.    --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 09:56, 9 August 2011 (UTC)

:Might be helpful to add that this citation is to a variant of the 1910s quote &quot;By an application of the theory of relativity to the taste of readers, today in Germany I am called a German man of science...&quot; (I was looking in the 1920s section and wondering why I couldn't find it). This citation does appear on pages 10-11 of ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' which is generally a pretty trustworthy resource, you can see it on google books [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PA10&amp;dq=%22Address%20to%20the%20French%20Philosophical%20Society%20at%20the%20Sorbonne%22&amp;pg=PA10#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Address%20to%20the%20French%20Philosophical%20Society%20at%20the%20Sorbonne%22&amp;f=false here]. Do the online Einstein archives at www.alberteinstein.info contain all available documents in the Archives or only a selection? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:21, 9 August 2011 (UTC)
::I see the &quot;disclaimer&quot; at [http://www.alberteinstein.info/disclaimer/ http://www.alberteinstein.info/disclaimer/] says:

::''No guarantee is given as to the accuracy, consistency, or completeness of the information displayed in the database records.''

::''Historical research constantly dictates revisions, additions, and deletions. Therefore, the database records will continuously be revised and periodically updated as additional research is carried out at both the Albert Einstein Archives and the Einstein Papers Project.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:23, 9 August 2011 (UTC)

&quot;By an application&quot; from 1919 is well documented, although according to [http://www.archive.org/details/celebritiesofour000452mbp Herman Bernstein 1924] page 267 it wasn't written by Einstein &quot;at the request of the newspaper&quot; (TIMES) (as Quotable Einstein claims) but as a reaction to &quot;the description of me and my circumstances in the ''Times''&quot;, probably the article ''THE REVOLUTION IN SCIENCE - Einstein vs. Newton - Views of eminent physicists'' in the ''Times'' of 8 November 1919, following the publication of the findings of Eddington's expedition by the Royal Society and the Royal Astronomical Society on 6 November 1919. That Einstein in an ''address'' to the Société française de philosophie at the Sorbonne on 6 April 1922 (the event is described [http://books.google.de/books?id=NhK6LIApE8UC&amp;pg=PA138 here on page 138]) could have found reason to speak of personal matters (his nationality, his Jewishness) is to me absolutely inconceivable. What could have caused him as a guest of honour in France to comment again, as he had done in November 1919 (shortly after the war), on &quot;a tendency to discrimnate between men of science on nationalist grounds&quot; (Herman Bernstein)? --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 22:58, 10 August 2011 (UTC)

:I don't think Einstein was invoking his nationality or Jewishness in a proud way, rather it sounded to me like a ''joke'' about the possibility that various countries would try to claim his as &quot;one of them&quot; if his theory was successful, but disown as being from a foreign &quot;enemy&quot; country (or in Germany's case, disown him as a Jew) if his theory failed (and it seems to be sort of an of implication of the joke that he looks at such national-identity claims with a certain ironic distance). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:42, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

Of course what Einstein wrote for the TIMES is a joke, a joke he &quot;enjoyed [...] so much that he repeated it for the benefit of Ehrenfest (Einstein to Paul Ehrenfest, 4 December 1919)&quot;, [http://www.alberteinstein.info/PDFs/CP7Doc25_pp206-211.pdf Doc 25 p. 211 note 9]. I only doubt that he repeated it, unnoticed by the word for word record of the event, in an &quot;address the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922)&quot;. According to Ernst Gehrke Einstein had been reluctant to accept the invitation to Paris but had been urged to do so by Germany's foreign minister Walter Rathenau who hoped Einstein's visit would improve the image of Germany in France and French-German relations. Accordingly Germany did everything within her power to make Einstein appear as a German. cf. [http://www.bpb.de/popup/popup_druckversion.html?guid=4PUY9W Grundmann 2005] and [http://www.alberteinstein.info/finding_aid/ alberteinstein.info: 1922 Visit to Paris contributes to normalization of French-German relations.]. Can one imagine that under these circumstances Einstein - not while drinking wine with colleagues, but in an official &quot;address to the Societé&quot; - could have stated: &quot;'''If''' my theory of relativity is proven successful, '''Germany will''' claim me as a German ..&quot;, when Germany was doing exactly this already?  --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 08:44, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

:What &quot;word for word record of the event&quot; are you referring to? Einstein didn't have a lot of respect for formality, I don't see why it's inherently implausible that he'd repeat the joke at an occasion like that. It's true the use of the word &quot;if&quot; is a bit odd given Eddington's confirmation of his prediction about the bending of light in 1919, but it's possible he was recalling something he had said earlier, or that &quot;if&quot; is a bad translation of his remarks. But you may be right that there's some confusion here, the New York Times article [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F70E16FE385D157A93C4A81789D85F448385F9&amp;scp=1&amp;sq=einstein&amp;st=p Einstein on Classifications] from Feb. 16 1930 reads in its entirety: ''According to a Jewish Telegraphic Agency dispatch of Dec. 3 from Berlin, German papers have featured a summary of the address made by Professor Albert Einstein recently conferred an honorary degree upon him. He is reported to have said, &quot;If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.&quot;'' First of all it's odd that in 1930 they would say this happened &quot;recently&quot; if it's from 1922 (and the [http://www.oxfordreference.com/pages/samplep-18.html Oxford Reference Online] says instead that the quote is supposed to have been said at an &quot;address at the Sorbonne, Paris, possibly early December 1929&quot;), and also it's rather second-hand, it's possible that original German article simply mentioned this prior quote in their article without claiming that it was actually from an address to the Sorbonne, and that the &quot;Jewish Telegraphic Agency dispatch&quot; confused this with part of his address (I found an archived copy of the dispatch from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency but it doesn't give any additional information, see [http://archive.jta.org/article/1929/12/04/2780697/if-true-hes-german-if-not-hes-jewish here]). Might help if we could find a copy of the 8 April 1922 article from the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' that's listed as a source in &quot;Quotable Einstein&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:33, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

I mentioned the record of the &quot;Séance du 6 Avril 1922&quot; already on 9 August 2011: http://www.scribd.com/doc/966376/La-theorie-de-la-relativite-dEinstein-a-la-Societe-francaise-de-philosophie. Of course it would help if we could find a copy of the 8 April 1922 article from the ''Berliner Tageblatt'', the only source mentioned in Quotable Einstein besides a clipping from an unnamed French newspaper. But for the time being, one can have a look at Grundmann: [http://books.google.de/books?id=1bxYPMHPhGcC&amp;pg=PA137 The Einstein dossiers]. Page 137 quotes from a long article [http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13191 04/12/1922 Berliner Tageblatt] Paul Block, Der verborgene Einstein: &quot;Because he (Einstein) has not said a single word that could be politically interpreted and reinterpreted, the serene glory of his scholarly renown is not marred by any garish flares.&quot;  Page 138 quotes from an interview Vossische Zeitung published on 18 April 1922: Einstein admitted that he &quot;never made any secret out of having come to France as a representative of German science&quot; and added: &quot;You must also take into consideration that the invitation addressed to me by the Collège de France was addressed to a German Scholar.&quot; With this in mind: does it really make much sense to assume that Einstein in an address to the Société française de philosophie on 6 April 1922 joked about Germany claiming him as a German and France declaring him a citizen of the world (if ...)?  --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 20:14, 21 August 2011 (UTC)

:But [http://books.google.com/books?id=1bxYPMHPhGcC&amp;lpg=PR2&amp;pg=PA137#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 137 of The Einstein Dossiers] is discussing an article from ''Berliner Tageblatt'' from 12 April 1922, whereas the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' article referenced in ''Quotable Einstein'' is said to have been from 8 April 1922. And can we be sure the transcript of the 6 April 1922 remarks (which seem to be of a sort of roundtable discussion rather than an 'address' by Einstein) is the same one the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' was covering on 8 April 1922? It seems likely, but it could be that he gave an address and then later participated in a roundtable discussion. Basically I agree that there is likely to be an error here, but the ''Quotable Einstein'' is generally a very trustworthy source and I'd be hesitant to declare it wrong without actually being able to check the full details, such as the original ''Berliner Tageblatt'' article. We might however note that there seems to be some confusion about this quote, given that the [http://www.oxfordreference.com/pages/samplep-18.html Oxford Reference Online] gives a nearly identical quote and says it's from an &quot;address at the Sorbonne, Paris, possibly early December 1929&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:39, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

::These sources are crap. I was searching this Articles, both are available online but no one contains this quote. 
::: [https://echo.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/ECHOdocuView?url=/permanent/gehrcke/kiste04/mappe17/pageimg/135r&amp;mode=filepath All together]
:::: including the french article &quot;EINSTEIN CHEZ LES PHILOSOPHES&quot;, also known as &quot;French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378]&quot;
:::: including the german article &quot;Einstein bei den Philosophen&quot;, also known as &quot;Berliner Tageblatt (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535]&quot;
:::: including several other german newspaper articles from 7./8. April 1922
::: [https://dfg-viewer.de/show/?set%5Bmets%5D=https://content.staatsbibliothek-berlin.de/zefys/SNP27646518-19220408-0-0-0-0.xml Berliner Tagesblatt, Morgenausgabe vom 8.4.2022], you can find the &quot;Einstein bei den Philosophen&quot; part on page 3, bottom left

::They only report that Einstein was honoured in Paris and that his theory was discussed. The Berliner Tageblatt also called him &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot; (german savant). I don't speak french but as far as I understand the french article, a guy calles Xaver Leon was quoted when he called Einstein a &quot;génial autor&quot;. I don't see any reference in the french article about Einsteins nationality or being cosmopolitan. No quote from Einstein. The complete german original Text from Berliner Tageblatt: '' '''Einstein bei den Philosophen'''. Aus Paris meldet unser Korrespondent: Gestern hatte die französische Gesellschaft der Philosophie Einstein zu einer Diskussion eingeladen. In einem Saale der Sorbonne fand sich eine Gesellschaft der ersten Denker Frankreichs zusammen, die den deutschen Gelehrten mit großer Sympathie begrüßte. Der Vorsitzende Xaver Léon sprach einige Worte des Willkommens. Professor Langevin setzte die Theorie Einsteins auseinander, und die gelehrte Diskussion begann. Ueber den Eindruck schreibt der &quot;Matin&quot;: „Diese Vereinigung der Elite des französischen Geistes kam zu der Ansicht, daß Einsteins neues System den größten Fortschritt bedeute, der seit Jahrhunderten in der wissenschaftlichen Auffassung des Weltalls gemacht worden ist. Einsteins Theorie ist stark genug, um die gegen sie erhobenen Einwendungen siegreich zu widerlegen.&quot; ''
::[[Special:Contributions/91.59.181.185|91.59.181.185]] 13:00, 14 August 2022 (UTC)

== Is this an Einstein quote? ==

&quot;With enough energy you can do anything.&quot; - I remember reading this described as a 'famous' Einstein quote but now cant find it anywhere. The original source was something scientific, either a book or a journal but it was many years ago (probably over 20 years) - and I can no longer remember where it came from. A search of the internet finds little or nothing but the thing I realize is that the original might have been in German or was misquoted or was simply made-up or attributed to the wrong author. In science if something was only in one or two obscure books and is old its not uncommon not to find it on the internet at all. Thanks if anyone can help me. - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 09:20, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

== life and expression ==

All im putting here is that life in its entirety is the total single expression, of an infinitely large amount of impressions, that consciousness has made for itself

== Fixed transcription error in &quot;Einstein and the Poet&quot; section ==

&quot;The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because are [should be: our] senses are limited, we can't grasp them. There is a pattern in creation.&quot;

The quote appears correctly in the book (p. 10).

[[User:MEMcNeil|MEMcNeil]] ([[User talk:MEMcNeil|talk]]) 14:43, 23 February 2012 (UTC)

== I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge... ==


The quotation in the article isn't the original version.

A version of this appears in ''What Life Means to Einstein'', Saturday Evening Post October, 26, 1929: http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf

:“If we owe so little to the experience of others, how do you account for sudden leaps forward in the sphere of science? Do you ascribe your own discoveries to intuition or inspiration?”
:
:“'''I believe in intuitions and inspirations.''' I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am. When two expeditions of scientists, financed by the Royal Academy, went forth to test my theory of relativity, I was convinced that their conclusions would tally with my hypothesis. I was not surprised when the eclipse of May 29, 1919, confirmed my intuitions. I would have been surprised if I had been wrong.”
:
:“Then you trust more to your imagination than to your knowledge?”
:
:“I am enough of the artist to draw freely upon my imagination. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.'''”

Then a modified version appears in ''Cosmic Religion with other Opinions and Aphorisms'', 1931 in this form:

:“'''I believe in intuition and inspiration.''' … At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason. When the eclipse of 1919 confirmed my intuition, I was not in the least surprised. In fact I would have been astonished that it turned out otherwise. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.'''”

Einstein seems to be the only credited author of the book, there is no credited editor, so presumably he himself has adapted this from what he was quoted as saying in the Post interview. [[User:HisRuntyDogma|HisRuntyDogma]] ([[User talk:HisRuntyDogma|talk]]) 04:19, 25 March 2012 (UTC)

:There are also ellipses in the other credited source, [http://books.google.com/books?id=XtQLAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22intuition+and+inspiration%22#search_anchor Transformation: Arts, Communication, Environment]. I'll add the full quote from Cosmic Religion. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:46, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

== Did Einstein really say this?  If so, when... ==

This is all over the Internet, but I can't find original source...

The Woman who follows the crowd,
will usually go no further than the crowd.
The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in Places,
No one has ever been before. ♥
~ Albert Einstein

:Doesn't seem likely, the quote (with &quot;man&quot; in place of &quot;woman&quot;) was attributed to Alan Ashley-Pitt before I can find it attributed to Einstein, see the extended quote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=mtgwjiuhYPgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA216#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 216 of You're Going to Do What?: The Memoir of Dr. W. Gifford-Jones] from 2000, that same extended quote appears on p. 95 of ''Seize the Day: 7 Steps to Achieving the Extraordinary in an Ordinary World'' from 1994, see snippets [http://books.google.com/books?id=c_sJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22man+who+follows+the+crowd%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=c_sJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22alan+ashley+pitt%22#search_anchor here] (the last snippet also mentions that &quot;Alan Ashley-Pitt is the British-sounding pen name for Phil Wernig, a greeting-card entrepreneur&quot;), and it also seems to be in the 1987 ''Communication Arts, Vol. 29'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=delUAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=alan+ashley+pitt+%22get+no+farther+than+the+crowd%22#search_anchor here]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 19:58, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

== Are the pictures distracting? ==

I find many of the... illustrations... other than the picture of Einstein and maybe a couple of other ones near the top, detract from the credibility of the page.  Almost like they are putting a kind of New Age spin on things.  At the very least, some of the illustrations give  flavor to this page that as far as I can tell is unlikely to represent Einstein's own perspective.  Maybe I'm reading too much into it - what do the rest of y'all think? 
--[[Special:Contributions/76.185.113.197|76.185.113.197]] 16:07, 21 May 2012 (UTC)

Also, since many of the quotes are pretty short, and there are a lot of quotes, I think Wikiquote would be more readable if it was broken up into a 2 or 3 column layout.
--[[Special:Contributions/76.185.113.197|76.185.113.197]] 16:09, 21 May 2012 (UTC)


:I find the pictures wonderful, and fulfilling. I have studied Einstein, his science and philosophy for decades. I find it a fitting article and depiction. Great work and thanks.

== I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book. ==

The section listing quotations in &quot;Sidelights on Relativity&quot; (1922) includes the sentence &quot;I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book.&quot; I've examined some editions of this work translated into English and cannot locate this quotation. For example, here is link to an edition at the Internet Archive that does not seem to contain the quote:
http://archive.org/details/sidelightsonrela00einsuoft
This is a translation by G. B. Jeffery and W. Perrett first published in 1922.

Could someone tell me the precise edition that contains the quote. Also, where does the quote appear within the text. Does the edition mentioned above contain an alternative translation or was the sentence entirely omitted in the 1922 translation. Thanks for your help.    [[User:Garson|Garson]] ([[User talk:Garson|talk]]) 07:19, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

:Thanks, the quote [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=1014368&amp;oldid=1012890 was added 25 September 2009] by an anonymous user who never made any additional edits, so there's probably not much hope they will respond to defend the addition. I removed the quote from the &quot;Sidelights on Relativity&quot; and put it as an unsourced variant to this quote in the [[Albert Einstein#1920s|1920s]] section: &quot;[I do not] carry such information in my mind since it is readily available in books.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:45, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

It's from Sherlock Holmes whilst discussing the orbit of the Earth around the Sun.

== The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know ==

Widely attributed to Einstein, but I couldn't find it mentioned, even as apocryphal, in the article.  Expresses a different idea to Socrates &quot;I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.&quot; [[User:John Quiggin|John Quiggin]] ([[User talk:John Quiggin|talk]]) 21:26, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

:Earliest source I find on google books is the 1997 book ''Zen Soup'', on [http://books.google.com/books?id=2NKgNydoxwMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT12#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page]. None of the other google books results were scholarly, they mostly popular books on eastern religion and self-help. I doubt it's real, you can put it on the list of &quot;unsourced and dubious/overly modern sources&quot; at the top of the Talk page if you want. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:55, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
:: Rather than &quot;overly modern&quot;, this strikes me as the sort of thing people have been saying for centuries. I doubt it is attributable to anyone in particular. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 18:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
::: The section is titled &quot;Unsourced and dubious/overly modern ''sources''&quot;, not &quot;Unsourced and dubious/overly modern ''sentiments''.&quot; The fact that the earliest source for this quote dates to a non-scholarly 1997 book suggests reason to think the exact quote (including exact wording) is a modern invention not actually attributable to Einstein, even if the general sentiment it was expressing is very old. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 20:35, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
::::It's a common sentiment. It's also been ascribed to [[Socrates]] and [[Confucius]]. --[[User:Tryst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:Violet; font-family:Tahoma&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;User:&lt;/span&gt;'''Tryst'''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Tryst|(talk to me!)]] 22:17, 24 June 2012 (UTC)

==If I can't picture it, I can't understand it==

Widely quoted as being from Einstein but did he actually say it? The earliest source I can find on Google Books from 1966 which says &quot;If a person doesn't understand the picture he won't understand the words.&quot;

:I don't see any books that attribute the quote to Einstein prior to [http://books.google.com/books?id=08STcsKc6A4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA137#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this one] from 1995. I found [http://books.google.com/books?id=fXAKjn6a_U4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this source] saying it was attributed to Einstein by his colleague [[John Archibald Wheeler]], so I searched for the quote along with &quot;Wheeler&quot; and found it was in science journalist John Horgan's 1996 book ''The End of Science'', but much of that book was based on pieces he had done earlier so I looked around a bit more and found the chapter came from [http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=pioneering-physicist-john-wheeler-dies this 1991 Scientific American piece] by Horgan in which he profiled John Wheeler. It seems as though Wheeler attributed the line to Einstein: ''Wheeler is also renowned for his coinages, analogies and aphorisms, both self-made and co-opted. Among the one-liners he bestows on me are, &quot;If I can't picture it, I can't understand it&quot; (Einstein); &quot;Unitarianism [Wheeler’s official religion] is a featherbed to catch falling Christians&quot; (Darwin); &quot;Never run after a bus or woman or cosmological theory, because there'll always be another one in a few minutes&quot; (a professor of French history at Yale); and &quot;If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day&quot; (Wheeler).'' I'll add the quote to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:14, 16 July 2012 (UTC)

== Needs Cleaning ==

This page is horrible to read, dotpoints appear to be randomly sub-dotpoints of other dotpoints, some quotes and some exposition without differentiation, and just when you think a pattern is emergine, you get a dotpoint of exposition on the same level as a quote which is for some reason a sub-dotpoint of another quote. AAAARGH! [[Special:Contributions/124.182.240.217|124.182.240.217]] 09:58, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

== 'Scientist and humanist' ==

&quot;one of the most influential scientists and humanists of all time&quot; - Brad Watson, Miami [[Special:Contributions/71.196.11.183|71.196.11.183]] 10:24, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

: I revised your addition — adding links to [[science]] and [[humanism]], but though he was clearly a humanist, he is probably not to be ranked as the most influential as yet, and many remain largely ignorant of the humanistic aspects of his personal philosophies. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 10:33, 3 October 2012 (UTC)
:: I'm not sure he was a humanist.  [http://www.humanism.org.uk/home The British Humanist Association] says that &quot;Humanists are atheists and agnostics&quot;.  Clearly, Einstein was neither.  He believed that God exists, as is shown by some of his most famous quotes, e.g. &quot;As I have said so many times, God doesn't play dice with the world.&quot;--[[User:Collingwood|Collingwood]] ([[User talk:Collingwood|talk]]) 12:07, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

::: I don't have an account or anything, but I wanted to comment on this. I can assure you that Einstein did not believe in, as he would have it, a &quot;personal God&quot;. I currently don't have the book on which I base my information, so can't refer you directly to any of his quotations on the matter, but will be able to do so in a matter of hours. I suggest looking the details up yourself in the meantime, but I think one can safely conclude that Einstein was a humanist, not believing in God in the traditional sense. I'll look up the quotations shortly that verify this if no one else gets round to it first.{{unsigned|130.159.104.12}} 

It's thoroughly misleading to describe Einstein as a Humanist: a) he never self-identified as a Humanist; b) in Einstein's day the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion'), so the term applied to Einstein is meaningless; c) his stated beliefs are not in accord with those of Humanism. Have a look at the Wikipedia pages on Einstein or his beleifs, compare the treatment Humanism gets there with prominence you're giving it here. Please revise your edit :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 13:58, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

: '''Einstein's stated beliefs were not only clearly in accord with [[Humanism]], in the most broad and honorable senses of the word''' (and not one used merely as a pejorative by those who would imply or insist its meaning should be restricted entirely to such ways as they or some other extremists for or against secular ways are inclined to use it), '''but he clearly embraced explicitly Humanistic endeavors of many sorts.''' You seem to strongly imply that &quot;Humanism&quot; currently has become an entirely &quot;secular&quot; stance and even go so far as to state that in Einstein's time &quot;the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion').&quot; I am very familiar with the fact that many individuals and groups tend to use the term &quot;Humanism&quot; derisively ''as if'' it were merely the worship of the Human in all its flaws and deficiencies ''rather'' than, or in exclusion to any worship of God or Divinity, or Truths beyond human knowledge, or acceptance of any sort of overt [[mysticism]] or spirituality, but it simple is ''not'' so. '''Humanism ultimately is and has long been a very large umbrella term which has long included many religious sectarians as well as secular adherents who might also identify as agnostic, atheist, or extremely variously in relation to various theistic or other religious traditions.''' Despite the efforts of some to constrain and restrict the term humanism and to use it as merely a synonym for &quot;secularism&quot; or even to make it a pejorative akin to ''faithless'' it is and ever has been a ''faith in humanity'' and the potentials of humanity to progress in affirmations of ethical values which  can either be based upon or contrasted with  those of various sectarian spiritual traditions. Though a ''faith'' in humanity, It is certainly not a mere ''worship'' of humanity — and especially not an exclusive or idolatrous worship of any human beings in any particular ideological states — such as many religious or political sectarians are often inclined towards, though they do not generally self-identify as either exclusionists or idolators. '''Ultimately humanism is based neither on secularism nor sectarianism and exists NOT in contrast to any specific or general spiritual traditions but in contrast to absolutist dogmatism or authoritarianism in any form, religious or political'''&lt;!-- , including those who would like to make many forms of either secularism or sectarianism seem entirely intolerable and even absolutely &quot;criminal&quot; or &quot;sinful&quot; because they do not accord entirely to their particular forms of secular or sectarian dispositions --&gt;. 

: '''I myself would go so far to say that not only Einstein and many scientists, but some of the greatest of religious leaders and mystics have actually been quite humanistic in much of their social orientation and aims, no matter how spartan or ascetic their own personal dispositions, nor what might be their particular stances on various theologies.''' Many people in many ages have embraced generally humanistic stances rather than emphatic about doctrinal particulars, no matter how much those who came after them (sometimes even ostensibly and ostentatiously acting in their name) might have developed all sorts of them, such as they never laid down or demanded. There is much more I could say on this matter, but I do not wish to get too elaborate in presenting my own personal views on matters, and thus have actually trimmed out some of my initial observations, but at any rate, '''I have already pointed out that Einstein was clearly and explicitly a supporter of such humanistic movements as the [[w:Ethical movement|Ethical Culture Society]], which was in many ways about specifically ''humanistic'' rather than doctrinally authoritarian as one could get, among those prominent in his time, in promoting diverse but unitive ''ethical'' imperatives and emphasizing beliefs that &quot;morality is independent of theology.&quot;''' This is actually fully in accord with what the current head of the Catholic Church, [[Pope Francis]] declared in May of last year: &quot;'''We all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards peace.  If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.'''&quot; &lt;br /&gt;  It is also fully in accord with what an extraordinary mystical and ethical genius known as [[Jesus]], defying and rejecting the overly strict and restrictive conventions of his time asserted, when among many other liberalizing and liberating statements, he declared that &quot;'''the Sabbath was made for man — and not man for the sabbath'''&quot; — and the same rational applies to nearly any and all spiritual traditions which have been devised as various forms of either development or hindrance of human potentials to appreciate the divine essence which truly abides WITHIN Humanity as well as BEYOND it. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 22:22, 17 February 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

::You're trying to define 'humanist' to suit your edit, and (with respect) the tone of your comment is new research/POV pushing. I don't agree that the word is justified and since you don't seem in a mood to compromise I think this should go to arbitration. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:18, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
::: You are quite mistaken. The initial addition of &quot;humanist&quot; to the page was not mine. You are attempting to restrict the definitions of humanist to only those which suit your limited conception of the term. I just happened to check in here again before leaving for at least a few hours, but will simply note that the [[w:Ethical movement|Ethical Culture Society]], which Einstein explicitly supported was part of one of the founding alliances of the wider [[w:International Humanist and Ethical Union |International Humanist and Ethical Union ]]. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:38, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
::: To quote the Wikipedia article the aforementioned  &quot;IHEU promotes Humanism, defined by the Amsterdam Declaration 2002, by advocating freedom of religion. Goals of the IHEU range from achieving worldwide separation of religion and state to providing assistance in establishing humanist youth organisations around the globe.&quot; ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:41, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
:::: Einstein served on the advisory board of the [[w:First Humanist Society of New York|First Humanist Society of New York]]. His name appears in Wikipedia's [[w:List of humanists|List of humanists]]. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:52, 20 February 2014 (UTC)

: Regarding the lettered points in HPotato's argument above (16 February 2014):
: a) ''he never self-identified as a Humanist'' –
:: This is simply false. His affiliation with humanist groups is described above and in Wikipedia at [[w:Religious views of Albert Einstein#Moral philosophy|Religious views of Albert Einstein#Moral philosophy]].
: b) ''in Einstein's day the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion')'' –
:: This attempt at historical revisionism is meaningless. You cannot define the [[w:First Humanist Society of New York|First Humanist Society of New York]] or the [[w:British Humanist Association|British Humanist Association]] with which he was affiliated out of existence, nor wipe out centuries of humanist thought by claiming it did not exist.
: c) ''his stated beliefs are not in accord with those of Humanism'' –
:: I assume the use of a capital &quot;H&quot; (not capitalized in the article) here denotes some particular group or schism. This is like a Catholic saying Protestants are not &quot;true&quot; Christians (or the converse, since you are claiming primacy of a recent sect of humanists). Your opinion about the one true catechism of humanism is irrelevant. 
: This leaves only the question of ''prominence'' in the introduction. Given the large amount of public interest in Einstein's writings and opinions pertaining to this subject, and the large amount quoted in the article, mentioning his stance in the introduction is not undue emphasis. It is useful to introduce what the article contains. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 19:29, 28 February 2014 (UTC)
:: Thanks for the additional observations you have made, which are all clearly relevant. I had not bothered to go into direct rebuttal of all the points of HPotato's claims because I believed what evidence had been generally presented was simply sufficient to justify the designation of Einstein as a humanist. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 21:04, 28 February 2014 (UTC) + tweak
:::Sitting on the board of a group (which prominent people are asked to do all the time) does not make him a Humanist (or 'humanist' if you prefer). So it remains the case that he never self identified. I don't want to have an argument about the evolution of the Humanism, I'm perfectly happy with the facts about the FHS and Einstein's sitting on the board, and that they may have a place in the article, it's just that they don't make Einstein a Humanist. And my point about his views not being in accord with Humanism are the clincher. Your analogy does not hold - there is a common core running through Catholicism and Protestantism which identifies both as Christian, so my point is correct. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 09:31, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
::::I'm going to pursue this at wikipedia/Einstein's religious views, feel free to follow me there :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 10:12, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: '''I cannot genuinely wish you greater luck there, with your endeavors, but do hope you might gradually become more enlightened, with time.''' Your persistence in rejecting fairly strong and reasonable arguments and evidence against your insistence on what should be done by others, ''here'', does grow tiresome, but I fully recognize the fact that among some factions this can seem entirely admirable.
::::: Despite the observations you make against taking much of the evidence of his humanism which has been presented as credible enough for you, because perhaps he never said such words as &quot;I am a Humanist&quot;, I would point out that many who have been regarded and very ''rightly'' regarded as &quot;[[saints]]&quot; and &quot;[[heroes]]&quot; or &quot;great philosophers&quot; by many have never &quot;self-identified&quot; themselves as such, and many who would like to &quot;self-designate&quot; themselves as such clearly have done little or nothing to deserve such designations by the wise. Others might quite generally be recognized by many as &quot;cowards&quot; and &quot;villains&quot; or &quot;asinine fools&quot; or properly labelled with even cruder terms of vulgar distinction, which I will decline to specify at this point, and yet never &quot;self-identify&quot; by such terms, and often even seek to rebuke and severely punish those who would use them in ''any'' ways, while the most courageous of heroes and saints often patiently accept even the vilest of designations with a profound good humor and remain of general good will to all. '''Many throughout the ages, attempting to mark others in various ways, good or bad, or to deny many of the marks and qualities of others, mark themselves in far more ways than they know, as extreme fools and hypocrites. Some of the greatest of human beings and saints willingly play many of the roles of &quot;Fool&quot; — but none but the most foolish and vile willfully play the role of hypocrite, and all the wise seek to be fair with others, to the extent they can properly be so, without being even more unfair to others.'''
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Without &quot;ethical culture,&quot; there is no salvation for [[humanity]].'''
| author = [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ &quot;The Need for [[w:Ethical Culture|Ethical Culture]]&quot; (5 January 1951) 
}} 
::::: Probably when I was about 5 or 6 years old and beginning to actively and avidly discover the delights of dictionaries, encyclopedias, histories, philosophical works, art books, many diverse scriptures and texts of religions, sciences, psychology, and some forms of mathematics, '''I became ''especially'' fond of &quot;Quotation books&quot;''' as places where DIVERSE ideas were often presented in compact form, and one could decide to explore more fully many of the works of many authors based upon significant openings to their ideas, one quote by [[Thomas Carlyle]] stood out strongly to my young mind, and remains one of my favorites: '''No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness than disbelief in great men.'''
::::: '''What Carlyle declared of great men still holds true, in regard not only of great human beings, but of [[great]] [[ideas]] — such as those of [[humanism]], and humanistic good will, which Einstein clearly endorsed as an ''ethical'' fundamental, in his explicit and profuse praise of Ethical Culture.''' It manifests in humane, and universal and even ''[[universalist]]'' good will of many humanist groups today. I have no doubt that you can find fanatics and intolerant zealots even among those who would declare themselves &quot;Humanists&quot; — as one can among most of the greatest and worthiest human social, spiritual, religious and political traditions, but on the whole, most of these, and most forms of humanism direct human impulses AGAINST such ways, and toward courageous forms of humility, transcendence, and what toleration can be properly manifest towards those who remain ignorant and confused and even hostile to the noblest efforts of Humanity. ''So it goes…'' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:34, 1 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:::::: Thankyou for your kind wishes regarding my future increased enlightenment Kalki, I wish the same for you too. Part of being enlightened (as I understand Buddhism) is accepting the world the way it is, accepting for instance that supporting humanist organisations and making statements in support of humanist views is still not quite the same as [i]being a humaist[/i]. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 17:02, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: HPotato, is your fear that humanism implies atheism? ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 18:22, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: I certainly do not claim to know what HPotato's stances are, beyond a clear will to dispute Einstein being a humanist, and his having clearly treating humanistic efforts with great respect in various obvious ways. I tend to believe that there is much tendency to associate the word humanism with atheism, or at least some forms of agnosticism, and failure to realize that I believe most people would use it, it merely involves acceptance of the ''necessity'' of some people being atheists, and some agnostics, and some adherents of ''various'' traditional faiths for various reasons, often BOTH good AND bad ones, and a willingness to engage in dialogue, tolerance and growth in various forms of understanding, and rejection of many forms dangerously absolutist dogmatic exclusions. I actually am interested in understanding more of HPotato's perspectives, out of curiosity, but I have little doubt that I cannot be convinced that Einstein was not a humanist and should not be called that. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 18:53, 2 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
::::::::: My 'fear' is that the words 'was a humanist' don't express the truth. And my concern is that the facts being distorted (however slightly) is an attempt to add credibility to Humanism by humanists. Einstein, whose religious views were complex and ill defined, is regarded as one of the world's foremost geniuses, and therefore he's clearly a 'prize scalp' for any group or ideology that can associate their views with his. I don't have any gripe with Humanism per se, and I'm happy (since it's true) for his humanist sympathies to have their due weight in any relevant article. It's just that this slight distortion seems to me to be a deliberate case of shenanigans :). I'm happy to go into details about my own religious views as long as others do too. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 19:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::: I'm not actually sure that &quot;humanist&quot; should be in the intro. Should we also include that he was a socialist, pacifist, etc.? Maybe just &quot;physicist&quot; is enough. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 19:18, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
: I would like to point out that this entire section began in '''3 October 2012''', after an anon IP [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=1489318 simply added humanist rather crudely to the intro], so that it read &quot;one of the most influential scientists and humanists of all time&quot; — and I soon after, revised this rather sloppy addition as improper, and noted that with my first comments above. The addition of [[Humanist]] itself remained a relatively uncontroversial one for some time, until these recent comments. I do not believe it excessive or controversial at all to make note that he was a humanist any more than it would be to note the Pope is a Christian — the stances and activities throughout their lives testify to the validity of such assertions. Though he certainly favored forms of democratic socialism, he was not so active as socialist as he was a humanist and as a pacifist, though certainly not so totally passive as some might have wished, as his influence and that of [[Leó Szilárd]], who was another humanistic pacifist, helped initiate the [[w:Manhattan Project|Manhattan Project]], out of fear of [[Nazi]] Germany developing such weapons. '''What people CAN mean by many words can and DOES vary widely — and some of us have been acutely aware of that since infancy, but I again assert, to say that Einstein was a humanist is pretty much what many would call a &quot;no-brainer&quot; from my perspectives''' — and despite grammatical complications in word usage, I defer to common connotations, and do not mean to imply that one makes it without a brain, but that even most of those of relatively little knowledge can recognize it, with little more difficulty than the most well informed would.  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:: I don't agree with any wording anywhere that says 'was a humanist' unless we can find a reliable source that says so, for the reasons stated above, i.e. that it's not strictly true and quite possibly an attempt to gain credibility. I'm perfectly happy for any discussion about sympathies/parallels in views, support of groups etc to have their proper and due weight. This I think is fair and balanced. I'd be perfectly happy with a wording like 'Although he never self-identified as a humanist, he did etc etc'. This seems to me to be accurate, fair and non-contentious. I've now had time to read more about Humanism, and it has evolved quite significantly from Einstein's day (when it was headed by a Unitarian) to the present day when it's explicitly areligious, which I think only confirms my earlier remark about it having changed and therefore the assertion being even more misleading. And I'm sorry to descend to name calling, Kalki, but your hand waving about the conclusion being obvious only adds weight to the assertion being new research. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 20:31, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::: Though I can appreciate some of your perspectives, I really perceive your logic to be deficient and flawed in more ways than I care to immediately specify. To assert that to declare Einstein a humanist amounts to &quot;new research&quot; is particularly lame. But I am finishing up on a few other things here, and will be leaving soon, and might not have much time for further dialogue for a few hours, at least. ''[[Blessings]]''. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:40, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Sources stating Einstein was a humanist: [http://books.google.pt/books?id=SwdSAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+is+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+is+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=85cTU5aOGZCihgfOu4GwBQ&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwAA] (1930); [http://books.google.pt/books?id=J6RZAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oJcTU6CdCIKUhQe3poDIBQ&amp;ved=0CEcQ6AEwBDgK] (1957); [http://books.google.pt/books?id=yAAoAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oJcTU6CdCIKUhQe3poDIBQ&amp;ved=0CDQQ6AEwATgK] (1980 – &quot;in the widest sense of the word&quot;). ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 20:44, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: Nice work :) How do you propose to word it? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 21:01, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::: My proposal would be to follow Wikipedia and only state in the lede that Einstein was a physicist, though I would let the humanist category remain. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 21:12, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: I agree about the lede, and now my objection looks a lot less sound with reliable commentators describing him as a humanist. How about 'Was involved in the early Humanist movement in NY' which is vague, but still true, and potentially sounds stronger to reflect the published opinions? Or it could be time for me to butt out :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 22:29, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
: Though I did not add it, originally, I do not agree with any suggestion of now removing the term humanist which clearly represents his general ethical stance and philosophical disposition, as evidenced by many of the quotes on the page, but I added the ethnic identity as a [[Jew]] which he embraced to that ethical designation so it now reads: &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, which I believe is a good summary. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 05:08, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:: That just looks worse, Kalki, IMHO. I agree with Daniel, that nothing except 'theoretical physicist' should go in the lede (a lot of physicists go beserk when anyone desrcribes him as an experimentalist). I will, when I have time try to come up with an intro to the humanist bit which hopefully expresses the strength of his agreement with its philosophy without giving the impression he self-identified, which I still say is wrong. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 07:24, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::: I think, although still mildly contentious, for the sake of argument it's probably ok to leave him in the list of humanists. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 07:36, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; is not good – makes it sound as if he was part of some never-heard-of tradition. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 07:59, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::  [[File:Don't panic.svg|42px]] A short while ago, I woke up from a much needed sleep, and now must confess I have [[laughed]] a bit on reading some of these assertions. '''Pardon my levity, but I, like most [[absurdists]], can have extreme reserve and skepticism about taking many words, labels, and how people often use them too rigorously and narrowly, very seriously.'''
::::: When I made the alteration, I almost used the term &quot;'''[[w:Humanistic Judaism|humanistic Jew]]'''&quot; but realized that phrase might prompt further confusion with more modern and specific forms of humanism which use such labels, but the assertion that &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; might indicate &quot;some never-heard-of tradition&quot; did ''amuse'' me. The current Wikipedia uses a common phrase in stating that he was born to a family of &quot;non-observant Jews&quot;, and I just came across fairly interesting articles in googling''' ''&quot;Jewish humanist&quot; Einstein''''':

:::::* Einstein's Jewish background and upbringing were significant to him, and his Jewish identity was strong, increasingly so as he grew older. The simple appellation &quot;[[agnostic]]&quot; may not be entirely accurate, given his many expressions of belief in a [[Spinozan]] concept of [[Deity]]. '''Certainly the adult Einstein was not a kosher-keeping, synagogue-attending traditional adherent of Judaism. But it is accurate enough to call his religious affiliation &quot;Jewish,&quot; with the understanding of the variety encompassed by such a label.'''
::::::* [http://www.adherents.com/people/pe/Albert_Einstein.html &quot;The Religious Background and Religious Beliefs of Albert Einstein&quot; at Adherents.com]

:::::* Spinoza’s critical assessment of Judaism and revolutionary conception of God influenced one of the most influential figures in modern history, '''the great Jewish humanist Albert Einstein.''' Einstein revered Spinoza’s philosophy and adopted his conception of God. 
::::::* [http://www.csjo.org/resources/essays/spinoza-the-first-secular-jew-by-bennett-muraskin/ &quot;Spinoza: The First Secular Jew?&quot; by Bennett Muraskin]

::::: '''There is much more support to be found for such relatively simple a designation as &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, which I do not believe to be extraordinarily imaginative at all.''' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 11:21, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:::::: Maybe you can find one or two publications that call Einstein a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, but these are very rare, and Wikiquote is not a playground for experiments, or to see what you can get away with – the intro should only contain a short, ''indisputable'' description of, and preferably ''widely attributed'' to, the subject. This, I would submit, is all the more true for Einstein, as his WQ article is one of our most viewed pages. I'm glad I could make you laugh, though... ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 11:56, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: The major thrust of the points I was trying to make, in quoting these 2 particular articles, is that &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; is NOT a rare or unheard of designation among either Jews or humanists, and certainly is an accurate one to summarize and specify some of Einstein's views, more so than either &quot;Jew&quot; or &quot;humanist&quot; alone would be. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:07, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: You only provided ''one'' essay where Einstein is called a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;. I looked on Google Books, and could only find one or two examples of such a designation of Einstein, and find such a label—at least potentially—deceiving. Of course if you could show me that this is actually a common scholarly description of him, I would change my mind. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:17, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::::: He was notable as a scientist, not a cleric or theologian, I think that settles the issue of the lede, or am I being too presumptious? His views we can treat elsewhere giving proper weight to his involvement and sympathy for Humanism. I can't see how there can be much dispute about this. :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:27, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::: Other than E = mc², you will find that most notable quotes by Einstein are actually humanistic, and not scientific in nature. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:30, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::::::: Ninguable made similar observations elsewhere, I believe, and I was going to extend on these, but your summation is accurate, and I believe is one reason &quot;humanist&quot; should be retained in the intro, and why I never considered removing it, once it was added, though I did move it, so as to not remain part of an inaccurate assertion. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:47, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Oh dear... :). [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:53, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Ok guys. Please tell me how we square this, from here https://humanism.org.uk/humanism/ :
&quot;Throughout recorded history there have been non-religious people who have believed that this life is the only life we have, that the universe is '''a natural phenomenon with no supernatural side''', and that we can live ethical and fulfilling lives on the basis of reason and humanity. They have trusted to the scientific method, evidence, and reason to discover truths about the universe and have placed human welfare and happiness at the centre of their ethical decision making.&quot;
with this, from here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_of_Albert_Einstein#Moral_philosophy :
&quot;'''A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate''', of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms—it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.&quot; [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 17:48, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
==== OK ====

Oh, well.… pardon my interest in sometimes making extensive elaborations and expositions, of ideas which I perceive to be relevant, even though I know might weary many others, but you ''did'' actually ask.… :) …

'''Remember the [[w:Butterfly Effect|Butterfly Effect]] … and BE [[Awareness|AWARE]], and sometimes BEWARE … but EVER and always BE AWARE'''… 

{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Tree of Life 2009 large.png|292px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt; --&gt;  [[File:Sahasrara.svg|23px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:LuMaxArt Golden Family With World Religions .jpg|123px]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt;[[File:Yyjpg.svg|23px]] --&gt; &lt;p&gt; We [[prove]] what we want to prove, and the [[real]] difficulty is to [[know]] what we want to prove.
| author = Émile Chartier
}}&lt;br /&gt; [[File:RaisingNoodlesLogo.png|44px]]&lt;!--  &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]  --&gt; 
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|258px]]
|}

'''This was the Quote of the Day for today''', which I actually decided to use and illustrate as I did, based partly on some of the discussions here, was one which I long admired by a teacher of a mystic philosopher I have long admired — [[Simone Weil]], who in turn inspired a far more widely appreciated [[absurdist]] philosopher I have long admired, [[Albert Camus]]. My esteem for some of what they said as well as MANY other philosophers, including [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]], who was also a modern philosopher who I was profoundly inspired by, almost certainly dates to when I was 5 or 6 years old, but it was later when I was at least 7 or nearly 8 when much more of their thought patterns and of their meanings became more clear to me. Certainly, by the time I was 10, I was quite enamored of many of the insights of absurdism, which Camus developed, and more general forms of [[Existentialism]] which have been developed by many figures, perhaps most notably [[Søren Kierkegaard]]. I also developed and retain a high regard for MANY other modern and ancient philosophers, even many of those relatively obscure to most; so even this brief summary indicates I have definitely had rather unusual perspectives from a relatively early age. 

That quote INDICATES much about the capacities and limitations of human thought in MANY realms of exploration and investigation, and the often bewildering mass of designations which can develop — and it often takes rigorous [[semiotic]] and rational analysis to unravel, and clarify, and where this is possible at all, one can usually do it far better with a broad range of cultural, social, sociological and psychological insights that ever welcome expansion, than from narrow, very fixed, limited and rigid stand points.

ONE great quotation I have long admired, which was among the ''many'' others I considered for the day, was one by [[Alexander Graham Bell]]: &quot;'''Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.'''&quot;

One thing I would like to emphasize which goes unstated or ignored or overlooked in this great statement, is that one must often have a broad range of knowledge and experience and awareness and appreciation of diverse forms of context, to bring things into intense focus — and '''the broader and more expansive the ranges or &quot;lens&quot; of one's awareness, the more powerful the &quot;energies&quot; and &quot;thoughts&quot; which one can focus.'''

'''I appreciate MUCH of the worth and limitations of MANY diverse assessments of BOTH [[monistic]] and [[pluralistic]] tendencies in human thought, and recognize that they can produce diverse and even unique forms of mystical, ethical and rationalist systems.'''
 
As a person inclined to various forms of thought and exploration which might be labeled types of &quot;absurdist universalist mysticism&quot;, (or many other such evocative terms which I KNOW can be puzzling to others, and can eagerly accept many that are even rather silly, as an antidote to many forms of silly pretentions), I accept and sometimes advocate a rather diverse &quot;polyphonic&quot; reverence for many aspects of the &quot;Omnipresent Monad&quot; by many diverse names, and notions.

I recognize MANY forms of extremely absurd and yet extremely strong perceptions, in many of the political, religious, social an spiritual traditions many people embrace, as well as the extremely wise, but sometimes relatively fragile or vulnerable ones, '''I am quite aware there are MANY ways to characterize and label human attitudes and assertions which are not apparently consistent and even contradictory — including MANY which set up DEFICIENT, FLAWED, or FALSE dichotomies, which can lead to even further false assumptions.''' As someone who has personally long recognized MANY forms of the virtues and values of MANY forms of philosophy, spirituality and religions, including systems of humanism, as well as more traditional systems of rational, ethical or mystical faiths and practices, I realized very young that there ARE limits on the appreciations of many diverse ways which others can have, and there are many people who one could call humanists, or by any of the more commonly recognized traditions of social, religious, political or economic philosophy who would insist that many forms of rational reconciliation or even dialogue with people of other traditions is [[anathema]] to various notions of rational, ethical, or mystical integrity. 

I am such a [[fool]], as has recognized that there is a VITAL NEED to see BEYOND all our designations and even in childhood recognized many rational, ethical and mystical methods and systems which were beneficial to such aims, and that these existed largely independent of the labels by which people sought to distinguish and differentiate themselves and many of their particular ways from others. Early on, even by the age of 5 or 6, I greatly appreciated and was VERY impressed by the thoughts and ideas of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], among many others, and certain ideas and attitudes of the [[Quakers]], [[Unitarians]], [[Universalists]], and proponents of [[Vedanta]] [[monism]].

'''I was not actually &quot;trained&quot; to explore philosophies or believe as I did by any adults seeking to indoctrinate me in any particular system of philosophy, science or spirituality — I often amazed them with the extent of my knowledge and explorations, and though some helped and hindered me in various ways, I was largely self-driven in my explorations, and I actively avoided many forms of &quot;training&quot; I considered merely &quot;taming&quot; and which I realized often consisted primarily of EXCLUDING many forms of thought and ideas.''' I saw that MANY in various traditions were TRAINED to reject MUCH that was plainly GOOD and WORTHY in others ways, primarily because it was not what they were ''taught'', and to accept MUCH that was vile and even evil, because it was taught as the &quot;norm&quot; or even the &quot;ideal&quot; — and the examples of this I or nearly anyone else can give are numerous. '''Having already made quite extensive comments, I will simply end by saying, in summary — I believe, like many others, and unlike many others, that Mystical, Ethical and Rational views can all be reconciled, in many diverse and beautiful ways, and am often interested in finding ways to do so... and among these are ''many'' forms of [[humanism]], many forms of [[mysticism]] and many systems of [[ethics]] and [[rationality]] which can share much in common, yet harmoniously differ in regard to many diverse aspects of belief. ''So it goes''… '''  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 19:44, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

: I appreciate your generosity in sharing your insights with me, Kalki, and your phrase 'narrow, very fixed, limited and rigid stand points.' is entirely justified since I did study Maths. And I accept from your heartfelt use of the term 'mystical' that you are not a damnable atheistic humanist engaged in surrilous POV pushing. That said, except by a vague reference to semiotic analysis, you haven't actually answered the question. :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 20:07, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:: There was a slight edit conflict, and I had actually realized there were many specifications in my thoughts which I had not elaborated upon in the typing, in my rush to finish up, and had already prepared to tweak the above statements as I do now. But to summarize again, though many would seek to insist otherwise, I perceive no innate conflict in the ethics of humanism and many diverse forms of mysticism, and as someone with &quot;universalist&quot; perspectives which I know many others cannot share, believe there can be ''many'' worthy forms of reconciliation of sciences with religions and even many forms of atheism and agnosticism with many forms of theism. [[Simone Weil]], made quite significant statements on this subject, as did her teacher [[Émile Chartier]] — and many others. ''[[Blessings]]'' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
::: This is all fine, but to be ''Mathematical'' about this, all of the Humanist stuff is fine, and just etc, but Daniel's comments re humanist quotes still don't cut it, and 'humanist' in the lede is not justified, on prominence as well as accuracy, so without some movement from ''you'', Kalki (I've conceded it's fine to stay in 'List of humanists', I think we should go to arbitration. Is that ok? :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 22:02, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: It is quite common, in our brief intros to state some ethnic info and religious or philosophical affiliations, though certainly not required. So far, humanism has been in the intro since 3 October 2012, when posted by an anon IP, in a way I soon amended, but saw no reason to remove, and there had been little dispute on the matter, despite it being one of our most visited and edited articles, until you posted objections to it here, and at the Village Pump, and received responses thus far from me and Ningauble, who both seem to favor its retention, as appropriate, and from DanielTom, who has wavered, and I am not sure what he favors at this point. I don't really perceive this as a crisis requiring arbitration. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 23:01, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: Einstein believed in Spinoza's God. Is this incompatible with humanism? Depends on the definition. Cowardly modern atheists seem to have hijacked the word to describe themselves (calling yourself a &quot;humanist&quot; sounds better than &quot;atheist&quot;, at least in the USA), so it (&quot;humanism&quot;) is now viewed by many as a synonym for atheism. This is unfortunate, but true nonetheless for many modern readers, and I think we need to be sensible to this. Besides, I don't think it is our business to ascribe ideological positions to others based on our own interpretations of their sayings. I am reminded of the French rhetorical author whose opponents insisted was actually a realist based on his writings, though he himself resisted such labels. I do think that a third (maybe [[User:BD2412|a fourth]]) voice would be helpful to settle this issue. My position hasn't &quot;wavered&quot;, Kalki, I still believe that we should follow WP's lede – include &quot;physicist&quot;, but leave out other more controversial (and less attested to) labels. I do share the concern that calling Einstein a &quot;humanist&quot; ''today'' could be potentially deceiving. &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; even more so. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 23:26, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::: My general preference is to have our ledes mirror, in an abbreviated manner, Wikipedia's ledes. We are a sister project, and our purpose is to convey quotes, not provide an encyclopedia entry. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 05:13, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: I'm also happy, since it's descending to nit-picking, not to argue with 'was a humanist' in the body, as long as the paragraph is suitably accurate otherwise. I hope this meets with your approval, Kalki :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 09:32, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: To DanielTom‎: I concede I was somewhat sloppy in my earlier expression yesterday, and should have been more cautious in the wording of my statement, and only said &quot;''seems'' to have wavered&quot; because, given your assertions, ''I'' was not actually sure what your positions were at some points, and thus not sure how much they might have changed, or ''not''. As to your assertion that calling Einstein a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; &quot;could be potentially deceiving&quot; I can concede that as well, because as a rather acutely observant absurdist, I KNOW that '''ALL [[words]] are &quot;potentially deceiving&quot; in many diverse ways.''' I am usually very cautious in using words, to the extent I can be, and can assert that taking ANY words AS IF they were absolutely reliable means of conveying some range of meaning or truth and ONLY that, without any taint of error, or the means for actual and potential false associations, is extremely deceiving. All words are INDICATIONS, and usually carry MANY forms of subtle or overtly manifest connotations and associations and meanings beyond the ranges of their primary intended meanings. All that being said, even if things do eventually go against retaining the current wording, '''I still do not find the simple designation of Einstein as a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; as something either controversial or excessive''', and certainly not something ''false'', save to those relative few who wrongly ''equate'' humanism with atheism, rather than with ''[[Reason|reasonableness]]'' about a ''broad'' range of ''[[beliefs]]'' and ''differences'' of [[thought]] and [[opinions]] among human beings (and not only regarding disputes about theologies and types of atheism or agnosticism). '''I certainly believe it ''should'' stay, but am not all that ''concerned'' about whether it stays or not.''' I do tend to believe that '''if people have so narrow and limited an awareness as to believe or insist that &quot;humanist&quot; simply equates to &quot;athiest&quot; they should definitely be disabused of such ignorance and confusion, as swiftly as possible.''' The designation has existed on a very well visited page for well over a year, and I would not personally remove it, but if enough people, who for some reason find the relatively simple and honest statement so &quot;controversial&quot; as to decide to remove it, do so, I am certainly not going to get into an edit war about so relatively minor a matter. There are certainly many other issues here which concern me far more. To close, I would simply state my firm '''''belief''''' that '''whatever anyone's particular notions about the [[worth]], or lack of it, related to ANY of the quite ''various'' notions of [[God]] or [[Reality]], it is a person's forms and levels of [[Honesty]], [[Compassion]], [[Humility]], and [[Courage]] which ultimately matter most in determining their character and their fortunes — and these are certainly neither exclusive to any particular traditions of faith or reason, NOR guaranteed by them — nor by any labels that might be applied or misapplied to them.''' ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Awareness|it]] [[Eternity|goes]]''… &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Necessity|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]] … ''[[Blessings]]''. &lt;/big&gt; ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 15:44, 4 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

=== improper removal of &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; ===
:: As I said above, I have no intentions of personally getting into an edit war on the matter, but I strongly believe that with the only people presently involved in the recent discussions thus far apparently in a deadlock of 2 for &quot;humanist&quot; in the intro and 2 against, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;curid=2&amp;diff=1690851&amp;oldid=1690368 the removal of &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;] by HPotato with the comment &quot;consensus against humanist in lead&quot; to be somewhat presumptuous, and premature. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 15:07, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
:: I had forgotten that BD2412 had made some remarks favoring brevity in the intro, which had since 2012 included &quot;humanist&quot; and had, with my addition of the word &quot;Jewish&quot; read: 
: '''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[1879]] – [[18 April]] [[1955]]) was a theoretical [[w:physicist|physicist]] and [[Jewish]] [[Humanism|humanist]] who is widely regarded as one of the most influential [[Science|scientists]] of all time. He is most famous for his [[w:Theory of relativity|Special and General Theories of Relativity]], but contributed in other areas of physics. He won the [[w:Nobel Prize|Nobel Prize]] in physics for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]]. 
:: I believe this is quite brief enough without removing significant ethnic info &quot;Jewish&quot;, and the single word &quot;humanist&quot; which quite accurately summarizes his general ''ethical'' disposition, to ''reasonableness'' about ''human'' concerns, rather than ''extremism'' and ''intolerance'' based on particular forms of ideological dogma — be they ''labelled'' religious or political. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 16:13, 5 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:: He's notable as a scientist mainly. And regardless of his many spiritual remarks, he's very well known for 'God doesn't play dice.' Which really clashes with Humanism (at least my simplistic view of it). As to 'Jewish' - he's only really known for that ethnically as far as I can tell (I'm not really in any position to judge how Judaism informs his quotes). Perhaps we can have editors with knowledge in this area comment? Although just on aesthetics alone, it was starting to look clumsy I thought. And as Daniel said, 'Jewish humanist' isn't really a widely understood designation. We have (or can have) both the fact that he was Jewish in the body, ditto humanist. If they're appropriate combined as 'Jewish humanist', can't we have that in the body? Can you make a case for it in the lede? Can you make a case (firstly in the body) that it informs his quotes in any way? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:03, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: Ok, I see that you just have above - sorry, jumping in without reading everything. Let me think about this :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:07, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: At first glance, I like the substance of what you've said above, although I don't believe it belongs in the lede. It would make a great summary somewhere in the body though. What about that? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:09, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Or a second paragraph in the lede, since there isn't really a body as such. Still too specific/dubious for the first sentence though, I think. That's my 2p [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:15, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: In &quot;God doesn't play dice&quot;, ''God'' is being used as a metaphor for the ''laws of nature''. You can't infer from that alone that Einstein believed in God, any more than you could infer that Stephen Hawking believes in God just because he says &quot;God not only plays dice, He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.&quot; (And Hawking is an atheist.) ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 08:48, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Fair enough :). Does 'Jewish humanist' merit a second sentence in the lede, do you think? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 00:01, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

== Quotes about Einstein ==

* Stop telling God what to do!
** [[Niels Bohr]], replying to Einstein's assertion that &quot;God doesn't play dice&quot;, as quoted in Carl Sagan, ''Broca's Brain: The Romance of Science'' (1979).

Would it be appropriate to add those lines to the ''Quotes about Einstein'' section? Thanks.

[[User:Daniel Tomé|Daniel Tomé]] ([[User talk:Daniel Tomé|talk]]) 7:59, 16 October 2012 (GMT)

* Yes, but according to the Bohr page the origin of the quote is disputed.--[[User:Collingwood|Collingwood]] ([[User talk:Collingwood|talk]]) 19:56, 16 October 2012 (UTC)
* I wouldn't. Apart from the questionable veracity of the attribution, adding a lot of &quot;dialogue with&quot; under &quot;quotes about&quot; would make the article more unwieldy than it already is. Quite a lot of people have commented on God playing dice, and some of them might be included in the [[Quantum mechanics]] article. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 15:29, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

== You never fail until you stop trying ==

Saw this in an infographic. [https://www.google.com/search?q=You+never+fail+until+you+stop+trying It's all over the web], but I haven't seen it attested anywhere. Probably New Age misattribution gibberish, but I figured I'd start the conversation here. --[[User:EvanProdromou|EvanProdromou]] ([[User talk:EvanProdromou|talk]]) 20:48, 9 December 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like there's a book with the same title from 2001: http://books.google.ca/books/about/You_never_fail_until_you_stop_trying.html?id=5_5JAAAAYAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y . --[[User:EvanProdromou|EvanProdromou]] ([[User talk:EvanProdromou|talk]]) 20:50, 9 December 2012 (UTC)

== Spurious Einstein quote ==

“It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.”
The above is quoted by many Internet sources as being attributed to Albert Einstein, but I can find no source, and suspect that it may be spurious. Can anyone help? Thanks  lrfsci

:This is from a remembrance of Einstein by Frau Hedwig Born, wife of [[w:Max Born|Max Born]], that was originally published just after Einstein's death in 1955. 

:In German, from [http://www.weltwoche.ch/ausgaben/2003-47/artikel-2003-47-einstein-ganz-pr.html this page]:

:&lt;blockquote&gt;Ist wohl nicht verwunderlich, dass gerade er mir half, mich unter den «objektiven» Naturwissenschaftern nicht mehr wie auf eine eisige Mondlandschaft verschlagen zu fühlen. Um mich herum stürmte die moderne Physik vorwärts – hier allein gab es «objektive Wahrheit», die mir unglücklicherweise nichts bedeutete, und alles Menschliche würde womöglich bald in naturwissenschaftlichen Ausdrücken beschrieben werden können. Da fragte ich Einstein einmal: «Ja, glauben Sie denn, dass sich einfach alles auf naturwissenschaftliche Weise wird abbilden lassen können?!» «Ja», meinte er, «das ist denkbar, aber es hätte doch keinen Sinn. Es wäre eine Abbildung mit inadäquaten Mitteln, so als ob man eine Beethoven-Symphonie als Luftdruckkurve darstellte.» Das war tröstlich.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:Here's an English translation from ''Einstein: The Life and Times'', by Ronald Clark, [http://books.google.com/books?id=gchgl_XLqI0C&amp;pg=PT284&amp;dq=%22probably+not+surprising%22 p. 243]:

:&lt;blockquote&gt;It is probably not surprising that it was he who helped me to be an objective scientist, and to avoid feeling that the whole thing was impersonal. Modern physics left me standing. Here was only objective truth, which unhappily meant nothing to me, and perhaps the possibility that in the future everything would be expressed scientifically. So I asked Einstein one day, &quot;Do you believe that absolutely everything can be expressed scientifically?&quot; &quot;Yes,&quot; he replied, &quot;it would be possible, but it would make no sense. It would be description without meaning—as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.&quot; This was a great solace to me.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] ([[User talk:KHirsch|talk]]) 13:34, 18 December 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much. lrfsci 19 December 2012

:: I have to disagree that ''&quot;Es wäre eine Abbildung mit inadäquaten Mitteln&quot;'' can be fairly translated as ''&quot;It would be description without meaning&quot;''. A far more accurate translation would be ''&quot;It would be an inadequate description&quot;'', hence an '''incomplete''', not a '''meaningless''' description.
::: [[User:Mojowiha|Mojowiha]] ([[User talk:Mojowiha|talk]]) 11:55, 3 November 2014 (UTC)

== Nothing happens until something moves ==

I'm seeing a quote attributed to Einstein, &quot;Nothing happens until something moves.&quot;  Alternately, &quot;In life, ...&quot;  Should it be added to the dubious quotes section? --[[User:Suttkus|Suttkus]] ([[User talk:Suttkus|talk]]) 17:36, 25 January 2013 (UTC)
: just like one moves in mind &amp; physical sports, the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and that the speed of light in a vacuum was independent of the motion of all observers. Some people think they are above the basic laws of physix that what goes around does not come around, that for every action there is no counter reaction even if it's delayed!!![[Special:Contributions/45.243.33.223|45.243.33.223]] 22:17, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

== Dance ==
I have seen this dance quote attributed to Einstein (all over the internet, like [http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/97111-we-dance-for-laughter-we-dance-for-tears-we-dance goodreads]); Is this an authentic quote? If yes, do we know the source?&lt;br /&gt;

''&quot;We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams&quot;''&lt;br /&gt;
--[[User:Chughtai|Chughtai]] ([[User talk:Chughtai|talk]]) 00:03, 14 March 2013 (UTC)
:Yeah, seems to be going viral.  You can even get it on a t-shirt.  I've looked through google scholar and books and my conclusion is that it's a bogus quote; the only instances are recent, and attribute it to Anonymous.  The many web references are all unreliable, and by contrast, there are a great deal of reliable sources for Einstein quotes.    --[[User:Elvey|Elvey]] ([[User talk:Elvey|talk]]) 15:56, 3 April 2013 (UTC)
:Another one is &quot;Dancers are the athletes of God.&quot;  I didn't look into it as thoroughly, but I'd bet it's of a piece. I searched a couple biographies, and found mention him dancing, and it doesn't match his personality at all; I'd be astonished to hear that he was a dance devotee.--[[User:Elvey|Elvey]] ([[User talk:Elvey|talk]]) 15:56, 3 April 2013 (UTC)

== theory and practice ==

Those 2 quotes are often attributed to Einstein on the internet

*&quot;In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, theory and practice are different.&quot;
*&quot;Theory is when you know all and nothing works. Practice is when all works and nobody knows why. In this case we have put together theory and practice: nothing works... and nobody knows why! &quot; 

Could not find any source... Should they be added to misattributed ?

[[User:Goulu|Goulu]] ([[User talk:Goulu|talk]]) 08:40, 21 May 2013 (UTC)

== &quot;Play is the highest form of research&quot; ==

Apparently this has been attributed to Einstein since the 70s, but mostly since the 90s.  See this: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22Play+is+the+highest+form+of+research%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1#q=%22Play+is+the+highest+form+of+research%22&amp;start=20&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbs=sbd:1

== Source for quotation? ==

Can anyone find a source for the Einstein &quot;quote&quot; about knowing the location of the library? It certainly sounds like he might have said it, but I cannot find a source to verify it.

In various places it appears as: “The only thing that you absolutely have to know, is the location of the library.”

(http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/277400-the-only-thing-that-you-absolutely-have-to-know-is)

(http://www.inkwellmag.com/post/33649146222/my-15-favourite-quotes-on-libraries-it-was-good)

(http://www.skipprichard.com/quotes/the-only-thing-you-absolutely-have-to-know-is-the-location-of-the-library-albert-einstein/)

I suspect that it is NOT an Einstein quote because even though English may not be his native language, he would not put a comma between the subject and the predicate of a sentence.

Thanks!

[[User:Westley Turner|Westley Turner]] ([[User talk:Westley Turner|talk]]) 18:02, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

: Another made-up quote (mis)attributed to Einstein. (People come up with these and then often attribute them to &quot;Einstein&quot;, and they spread like wildfire.) This one in particular doesn't appear in any published work (zero GoogleBooks hits), and as far as I can tell Einstein never did say anything similar to this about libraries, either in German or in English. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 18:13, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

::In Albert Einstein's &quot;The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein: The early years, 1879-1902&quot;, Volume 1, Page 163, there's a library quote:
:::But now I must be off to the library, otherwise it will be getting too late.
::I'm trying to find variations of it but the most promising finds in Google Books are not snippeted. &quot;3-Minute Einstein: Digesting His Life, Theories and Influence in 3-Minute Morsels&quot;
::[[User:Thecurran|Thecurran]] ([[User talk:Thecurran|talk]]) 06:04, 27 August 2014 (UTC)

== Nature did not deem it her business ... ==

Hi, in my coy of March 2014 Scientific American, this quote is listed towards the end of the article on page 25:
''&quot;Nature did not deem it her business to make the discovery of her laws easy for us - Albert Einstein&quot;''. This quote doesn't appear on this page when I tried to search for it. Is it a misattribution by SciAm or can I go ahead and add it? [[User:AadaamS|AadaamS]] ([[User talk:AadaamS|talk]]) 08:56, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

'''Reply:'''

Hi. This comes from a letter by Einstein to Erwin Freundlich, dated 1 September 1911, where he says: &quot;''Aber die Natur hat es sich nicht angelegen sein lassen, uns die Aufﬁndung ihrer Gesetze bequem zu machen.''&quot; [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/images/einstein/ear01/view/1/11-199.10_000011868.pdf]

If you want to add it to the article, I suggest something like this:

* ''Die Natur hat es sich nicht angelegen sein lassen, uns die Aufﬁndung ihrer Gesetze bequem zu machen.''
** '''Nature did not deem it her business to make the identification of her laws comfortable for us.'''
** Einstein to [[w:Erwin Finlay-Freundlich|Freundlich]], 1 September 1911. ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 5, Doc. 281. Reported in ''Revisiting the Foundations of Relativistic Physics'' (Kluwer Academic Publishers, 2003), p. 81.

Cheers. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 09:43, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

== Einstein's 'No problem' quote out of context ==

&quot;No problem can be solved by the same KIND OF THINKING that created it.&quot; is the correct unadulterated quote from Albert Einstein The quote is about the null result of the Michaelson-Moreley experiment.

'No problem' (such as the null result of the Michaelson-Moreley experiment) 'can be solved' (understood) 'by the same' (re-application of the principles) 'kind of thinking that created it'.  In this context, the quote makes perfect sense, but changing &quot;kind of thinking&quot; to &quot;level of consciousness&quot; changes the meaning entirely, or at best makes the original meaning close to incomprehensible.

I've read a lot of Albert Einstiein's original writings on a lot of different subjects over a lifetime, much of it in his original German.  I'm sure I never saw him use the German equivalent of: &quot;level of consciousness&quot; in any context, on any subject.

The fact that this misquote seems to have been promulgated in hundreds of volumes and in possibly thousands of places on the Internet since about 2002 does not impress. [[User:Danshawen|Danshawen]] ([[User talk:Danshawen|talk]]) 12:31, 31 March 2014 (UTC)danshawen

== Quoted by Timothy Ferris ==

I have removed the following item that was added to the article by [[User:Wiki Wisdom|Wiki Wisdom]]:
:* What I see in nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of ‘humility.’ This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism. . . . My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. . . . I want to know how God created this world. I want to know his thoughts, the rest are details.
:** Quoted by [[Timothy Ferris]], in his article “The Other Einstein”, ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1/22 1992.
This misattribution is a complete mashup, combining material from three entirely different sources:
# ''&quot;What I see in nature&quot;'' is from a draft of a letter found in his personal papers and reported in Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffmann, ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives'' (1979). It already appears in the article section on that book.
# ''&quot;My religiosity consists in...&quot;'' is from a note written on a letter he received, found in his personal papers and reported in Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffmann, ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives'' (1979). It already appears in the article section on that book.
# ''&quot;I want to know how...&quot;'' is from Esther Salman, &quot;A Talk with Einstein&quot;, ''The Listener'', British Broadcasting Corporation, Vol. 54 (1955), p. 370–371. It is a misquotation because it omits a significant portion from the middle of the passage indicating what kind of details he refers to. A correct version of this appears in the article section on Max Jammer , ''Einstein and Religion'' (1999).
I urge contributors to be more careful to avoid introducing bogus and false information into Wikiquote articles. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 15:31, 19 July 2014 (UTC)

But the Timothy Ferri's quote about Einstein is false in his article? are not Eintein's words? How can you know it? Is timothy ferris lying? --[[User:Wiki Wisdom|Wiki Wisdom]] ([[User talk:Wiki Wisdom|talk]]) 22:48, 19 July 2014 (UTC)
: The article &quot;The Other Einstein&quot; by [[w:Timothy Ferris|Timothy Ferris]] appeared in ''[[w:Science (journal)|Science]]'', Vol. 83 (October 1983), a peer reviewed journal of the first rank. This mashup of three different quotations does not appear in that article: they are quoted separately and contextualized as being from three different occasions. &lt;p&gt; It is not the veracity of Timothy Ferris that should be questioned, but rather the anonymous writers and editors of ''Awake!'' magazine. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 13:23, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

== Suggestion ==

As discussed [[#A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful|here]] and [[#The world is a dangerous place|here]], the &quot;The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.&quot; that is currently in the Misattributed section of the article, is in fact a variant of &quot;The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.&quot; that is mentioned in the regular - non-disputed/misattributed - portion of the article. It was moved into the Misattributed section by [[User:Kalki]] when, initially, a source could not be found. But, as you can read in the two talk page sections I linked just now, a source was eventually found. In my opinion, the related content in the Misattributed section should be removed. There is no reason to mention it as a variant in the regular portion of the article, because it '''is already''' mentioned as a variant there. Agreed? --[[Special:Contributions/82.136.210.153|82.136.210.153]] 13:48, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
: The variants have now been moved beneath the fully sourced quote as you have suggested. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 16:19, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
::Thanks Kalki. --[[Special:Contributions/82.136.210.153|82.136.210.153]] 13:20, 4 November 2014 (UTC)

== &quot;The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.&quot; ==

I've seen some places attributing it to Einstein; but it's not mentioned here. Doesn't anyone got a RS confirming it either way? --[[User:TiagoTiago|TiagoTiago]] ([[User talk:TiagoTiago|talk]]) 20:40, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

== Quotes or TRANSLATIONS of Quotes? ==

I question that all of the claimed quotes here are in English. I do not know how fluent A.E. was in English, but I know that many of his his letters (or his speaking with native Germans) were in German. That being the case, this should make clear the FACT that a particular &quot;quote&quot; as provided here is a translation. (Which is done in some cases, but needs to be done exhaustively). Its also likely that during his Princeton and later years, some or most of what he said WAS in English, but I don't know that. This page confuses what exactly Einstein said with various translators' versions and with various alternative quotes. There is what he said, then there are people's memory of that (if it isn't recorded explicitly), then there are the various translations (and unfortunately interpretations) of his comments. The difference should be kept clear. It isn't that hard, is it, to provide the original (Deutsch) is it? So, why not do it?[[Special:Contributions/173.189.79.42|173.189.79.42]] 13:01, 13 May 2015 (UTC)

== A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be ==

This sentence is very widely quoted on the web as being from Albert Einstein. 
Is it really? If not, why? If so, shouldn't it be in the list? --[[User:Deselliers|Deselliers]] ([[User talk:Deselliers|talk]]) 20:23, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

== There is not the slightest indication that... ==

Hello, I'm an administrator of the Italian Wikiquote. In the archive of ''Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' there is the article ([http://archives.post-gazette.com/search/#query=atom+energy+hope&amp;ymd=1934-12-29 here]) but there isn't the quotation ([http://archives.post-gazette.com/search/#query=slightest+indication&amp;ymd=1934-12-29 look here]). How is it possible? Maybe the source is wrong.--[[User:AssassinsCreed|AssassinsCreed]] ([[User talk:AssassinsCreed|talk]]) 16:45, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

:Maybe the real source is [https://books.google.it/books?id=BmyLAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA24&amp;dq=slightest+indication+einstein+atom&amp;hl=it&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CGYQ6AEwCWoVChMI4KKO9JnHxwIVBxMaCh1T_wcr#v=onepage&amp;q=slightest%20indication%20einstein%20atom&amp;f=false this one] (1920).--[[User:AssassinsCreed|AssassinsCreed]] ([[User talk:AssassinsCreed|talk]]) 16:57, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

Here is the ''Pittsburg Post-Gazette'' [https://www.newspapers.com/clip/14145605/pg_coverage_of_albert_einstein/ article] zoomed in. The only two direct and relevant quotes are: &quot;It's like shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are only a few birds.&quot; &quot;We have no means to force the transfers which do not consume more energy than the transfers give out.&quot;

== If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies. ==
Earliest source I can find is a [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ll4wAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22If+most+of+us+are+ashamed+of+shabby+clothes+and+shoddy+furniture,+let+us+be+more+ashamed+of+shabby+ideas+and+shoddy+philosophies.%22&amp;dq=%22If+most+of+us+are+ashamed+of+shabby+clothes+and+shoddy+furniture,+let+us+be+more+ashamed+of+shabby+ideas+and+shoddy+philosophies.%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiXlMr8gsrJAhUNhoMKHU3OAGYQ6AEIHTAA ''Treasury of the Christian Faith''] (1949).  Seems dubious. [[User:Grover cleveland|Grover cleveland]] ([[User talk:Grover cleveland|talk]]) 15:20, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

== &quot;The pioneers of a warless world are the youth that refuse military service&quot; ==

A lot of web pages seems to say that Einstein phrased this, in either one form or another. Is there any reliable source that can verify this? —[[User:Kri|Kri]] ([[User talk:Kri|talk]]) 17:12, 20 January 2016 (UTC)

== I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ==

This seems a relatively famous quote. Its else where on wikiquotes at [[World War III#E]] I guess it should go here.--[[User:Salix alba|Salix alba]] ([[User talk:Salix alba|talk]]) 10:47, 4 June 2016 (UTC)

== You already have the world formula if you disassemble F-Zero? Denying that only means a highscore on the F-Scale? ==

I still routinely put a question mark behind each sentence.
But certainly, with the theory of relativity, nothing would have worked in this game.

== Reason of the Nobel Prize ==

The first paragraph says that he received his Nobel Prize for ''explanation'' of the photoelectric effect, when in fact he got it for the '''discovery of the law''' of the effect (not the effect itself, which had been done by Hertz). This is clearly explained on Wikipedia. --[[User:Tarnoob|Tarnoob]] ([[User talk:Tarnoob|talk]]) 01:46, 4 June 2018 (UTC)

==“The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.”==
Can we put this in the Disputed or Misattributed section? [[User:Eric Kvaalen|Eric Kvaalen]] ([[User talk:Eric Kvaalen|talk]]) 13:01, 16 December 2018 (UTC)

== The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple ==

Hi all, I've seen this attributed to Einstein, it's not here but it's all over the web; &quot;The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple&quot;. So I submit it to wikipedia's collective wisdom and powers of checking. Sounds to me like paraphrasing other stuff, such as the wrongly attributed &quot;Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.&quot; --[[User:Jrob kiwi|Jrob kiwi]] ([[User talk:Jrob kiwi|talk]]) 10:22, 18 February 2019 (UTC)

: Yes, misattributed variation from E.F.Schumacher, third one above here [[#Formerly_unsourced,_now_in_article]]. [[User:Tomruen|Tomruen]] ([[User talk:Tomruen|talk]]) 15:06, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

== &quot;Striving for social justice is the most valuable thing to do in life.&quot; -- Albert Einstein ==

Is this real? I find it everywhere but nowhere truly respectable. [[User:Thmazing|Thmazing]] ([[User talk:Thmazing|talk]]) 23:18, 12 May 2020 (UTC)

== The most beautiful and most profound religious emotion that we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. ==

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo0X2ZdElQ4&amp;feature=youtu.be TEDxNoosa 2014] cites:
{{quote|The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is at the root of all the true science. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, is my idea of God.|TEDxNoosa 2014}}
It is far different from the quote given in ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky and Allen G. Weakland, p. 86. It seems not be sourced elsewhere. Can TEDx be cited as an authoritative and standalone source? In my modest opinion, I think so.[[User:Philosopher81sp|Philosopher81sp]] ([[User talk:Philosopher81sp|talk]]) 16:32, 24 September 2020 (UTC)

== Regarding the vast length of this discussion page ==

There are '''90''' different topics on this entire page, which I consider to be much too long for a page that serves this purpose. I feel as though something should be done about this, especially since this issue appears on many other discussion pages. [[Special:Contributions/209.232.149.23|209.232.149.23]] 22:11, 21 October 2021 (UTC)

== Einstein quotation? ==

Does anyone out there know if Einstein said, &quot;The only thing you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.&quot;?</text>
      <sha1>nzi5mji5vw3zpystj6oefbq427j17q5</sha1>
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== Unsourced and dubious/overly modern sources ==
:'''&lt;small&gt;Einstein is one of those major iconic figures to whom many statements become attributed; unsourced attributions to him should usually be treated with some skepticism, and ''often'' a great deal of it. &lt;/small&gt;'''

''Please put unsourced quotes in alphabetical order for convenience.''

* A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
** Probably not real, earliest published version I found was [http://books.google.com/books?id=O5TzAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein#search_anchor this one from 1997], but it seems to have been on the internet slightly before that, see [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.med.dentistry/msg/6202046e40e97565?hl=en this post from 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:17, 30 November 2011 (UTC). However in his 1986 college text book 'Tools for Thinking and Problem Solving', Moshe Rubinstein states &quot;It has been said that a smart person manages to escape from unpleasant situations that a wise person would avoid in the first place&quot; - a similar general meaning, with the similarity of names ( Rubinstein vs Einstein ) perhaps explaining the misattribution.

* A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
** Earliest published source I could find was the 1993 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=1vNOAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22when+he+can+live+outside%22#search_anchor Zen and the Art of Making a Living] by Laurence G. Boldt, p. 100. Was on the internet before that, as in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.simpsons/msg/869967c8d58e3af7?hl=en this post from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:01, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy.
** Earliest published source I find is the 2003 book ''Albert Einstein'' by Dana Meachen Rau, [http://books.google.com/books?id=WjOj27pXPnEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT20#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 19]. But it appeared on the internet before that, earliest one I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/e13cc61034bf20ed this post from 5 January 1993]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:11, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
**Not a lot of sources for this, see the search [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22any+fool+can+know%22+einstein&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 here], oldest one seems to be [http://books.google.com/books?id=XlEZAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22any+fool+can+know%22#search_anchor Precalculus mathematics in a nutshell: geometry, algebra, trigonometry] by George Finlay Simmons, from 1981. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:14, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” - saw this on my Facebook today, and it's widely repeated on the web, with no good source. --[[User:Slashme|Slashme]] ([[User talk:Slashme|talk]]) 15:18, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
**Earliest source I see on google books that attributes it to Einstein is the 2002 book ''More Sex Talk'' by James Wolfe, [http://books.google.com/books?id=hZR9bd-PJ1oC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA91#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 91]. I did find earlier sources which give the same quote but without attributing it to Einstein (I did an [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22kiss+the+attention+it+deserves%22 advanced google books search for &quot;kiss the attention it deserves&quot;] with the date range of 1900 - 2002), like the [http://books.google.com/books?id=ouvzTy3AD9AC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PR4#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false 1968 book] ''20,000 Quips and Quotes'' by Evan Esar, [http://books.google.com/books?id=ouvzTy3AD9AC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA452#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 452], or ''American Gas Journal'' vol. 184 from 1957, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=tAonAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22kiss+the+attention+it+deserves%22#search_anchor this snippet from p. 155]. [http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=36814 This post] from the snopes.com board claims to give a bunch of much earlier sources where the quote wasn't attributed to Einstein, but I can't check if the attributions to various newspapers below are actually accurate:
**[Tennessee Ernie Ford] notes that the man who can drive while kissing a pretty girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. [From Larry Wolters's &quot;Radio TV Gag Bab,&quot; The Chicago Daily Tribune, 3 April 1955, Pg. H16.]
**The current edition of the Hudson Motor Car Co.'s Newsletter contains the information that this safety-first sign appears on the Alaska Highway: &quot;The man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From &quot;Personal Notes,&quot; The Washington Post, 24 December 1951, Pg. B8.]
**Braddock Motor hints: Never allow a girl to kiss you when you are out driving with her, for if she can drive a car while kissing you, she's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. [The Pittsburgh Courier, 24 November 1928, Pg. 6.]
**&quot;Do you allow Jack to kiss you when you're out motoring with him?&quot; &quot;Never. If a man can drive safely when kissing me, then he's not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From The Pittsburgh Courier, 15 January 1927, Pg. 3.]
**One of our fluffy flappers allows no kissing when she is out riding. She says a man cannot drive a car and give the kiss the attention it deserves. [From &quot;Pen Points,&quot; The Los Angeles Times, 12 June 1924, Pg. A4.]
**Dorcas -- &quot;Do you ever allow a man to kiss you when you're out motoring with him? Philippa -- &quot;Never. If a man can drive safely while kissing me, he is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.&quot; [From &quot;Safety First,&quot; which appeared in an automotive supplement to the Southtown [Chicago] Economist, 12 March 1924, Pg. 24.] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 17:45, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

* Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
** Earliest sources on [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22never+made+a+mistake+has+never+tried%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202000&amp;num=10 this search] are from 1999, but it appears on the internet before that, like [http://groups.google.com/group/k12.chat.teacher/msg/49ed480adda6444b?hl=en this post from 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:38, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

* As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.
** Earliest variant I find is &quot;As the area of light increases so does the circumference of darkness&quot; in the 1971 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=JINMdY2LPJQC&amp;q=%22circumference+of+darkness%22#search_anchor Cell and Molecular Biology] by Eugene Rosenberg, p. 199. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:42, 30 November 2011 (UTC) 

* Before God we are all equally wise, equally foolish.
** Appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=UpPuAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22before+god%22#search_anchor Albert Einstein: Maker of Universes] from 1939 on p.80, but doesn't look like original source is mentioned. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:37, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Creativity is intelligence having fun.

* Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
** Earliest published source I found attributing it to Einstein is the 2000 book ''What every principal would like to say-- and what to say next time: quotations for leading, learning, and living'' by Noah benShea, [http://books.google.com/books?id=VDmwarh318UC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA94#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 94]. Quote itself is a lot older though, for example ''Love, medicine, &amp; miracles'' by Bernie S. Siegel, from 1986, has this exact quote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=4PdYgcy8ZM8C&amp;q=%22coincidence+is+god%27s+way+of+remaining+anonymous%22#search_anchor p. 214]. There are other variants before that, like in ''I Hurt Too Much for a Band-Aid'' by Kenneth J. Olson and Helen Lovell from 1980, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Pkf5WBoHOdcC&amp;q=%22A+coincidence+is+when+God+performs+a+miracle+and+chooses+to+remain+anonymous%22#search_anchor p. 111] &quot;A coincidence is when God performs a miracle and chooses to remain anonymous&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:00, 1 December 2011 (UTC) CS Lewis &quot;Coincidence is a miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.&quot;??--[[Special:Contributions/66.190.141.195|66.190.141.195]] 14:20, 7 March 2017 (UTC)

* Every day, man is making bigger and better foolproof things, and every day, Nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think Nature is winning.
** Alternate: ''There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning.''
** Zero hits for &quot;Nature is making bigger and better fools&quot; on google books. Earliest internet post I find with &quot;Nature is making bigger and better fools&quot; is [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.climbing/msg/b6bc36bee0488e5f?hl=en this one from Dec 1999], but the rest of it is different and it doesn't say anything about Einstein. The next-earliest one I find is at the bottom of [http://groups.google.com/group/ne.politics/msg/4e3512a718d8872b?hl=en this one from Dec 2000], which has the full quote as above and it's attributed to Einstein. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:17, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** By [[Rick Cook]] (1989): &quot;Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.&quot; --[[User:Traal|Traal]] ([[User talk:Traal|talk]]) 23:51, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

* Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
** Searching google books for &quot;example&quot;, &quot;isn't another way to teach&quot; and &quot;only way to teach&quot;, earliest instances are two books from 2002, [http://books.google.com/books?id=DV917BZ9RAgC&amp;q=example+%22isn%27t+another+way+to+teach%22+%22only+way+to+teach%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=thXROEHqJ0MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA121#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false here]. Neither gives a source, and I didn't see a source in later books, so probably not trustworthy. As usual the original source is probably the internet since searching google groups shows posts using the quote before that, earliest one I found was at the bottom of [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.object/msg/d7ff246f504a2107 this one from June 1998]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:27, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
** As quoted in ''The Rhythm of Life : Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose'' (2004) by Matthew Kelly, p. 80

* I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It's because of them I did it myself
** This is being attributed to Einstein on the Internet, but it appears to come from Wayne W. Dyer's book You'll See It When You Believe It, page 54, according to Google Books. Dyer does not attribute it to Einstein, but mentions Einstein in the same paragraph. 
*** In my office I have two framed posters. One is a picture of Albert Einstein, beneath which are the words &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent oppostion from mediocre minds.&quot; The other poster is made up solely of words: &quot;I am grateful to all those people who said no. It is because of them I did it myself.&quot; Great thoughts!
** Apparently someone misread this and thought the quote was from Einstein. I don't know who was the first to do this. [[User:Imaid|Imaid]] ([[User talk:Imaid|talk]]) 23:47, 12 March 2012 (UTC)

* I believe no woman could have invented calculus.
** Zero published examples, and only two on [http://groups.google.com/ google groups]...I wonder if someone just made this one up to add to the wikiquote unsourced list (it was added in [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;action=historysubmit&amp;diff=438804&amp;oldid=437523 this edit from 25 March 2007], by a user whose [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/143.160.124.41 only wikiquote contributions] were adding this quote and bolding a few others). Searching for variants on google books did turn up a quote by someone called Edward Jewitt Wheeler, who in 1908 ''Current Literature'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=bpLPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA554#v=onepage&amp;q=%22no%20woman%20ever%20invented%20a%20calculus%22&amp;f=false wrote] &quot;No woman ever invented a calculus&quot;, but this is such an obscure source that I doubt it's the inspiration. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:40, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I could burn my fingers that I wrote that first letter to Roosevelt.
** Comment after the [[w:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|bombing of Hiroshima]], regarding his letter to [[w:Franklin Delano Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] warning of the possibility of the development of a [[:w:nuclear weapon|nuclear weapon]].
** Earliest internet post I find is [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/ced0251fc262e57d?hl=en this one from 2002] where it seems to be part of a quote from a larger work, apparently [http://web.archive.org/web/19971222020745/http://myhero.com/hero.asp?hero=einstein this essay] (link is to an archived copy from 22 Dec 1997, so it's at least that old) by someone called Richard V. Duffy. [http://books.google.com/books?id=EP8S9UdrUUAC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q=%22burn%20my%20fingers%22&amp;f=false This 2002 book] is the earliest published source with the quote, but it doesn't give a source and may have just gotten it from the internet. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:59, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I didn't arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind.
**According to [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22I+didn't+arrive+at+my+understanding+of+the+fundamental+laws+of+the+universe+through+my+rational+mind%22&amp;tbo=1&amp;hl=en&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;tbs=sbd:1&amp;tbm=bks&amp;ei=amm_Ubca9qzgA4SLgMgP&amp;start=10&amp;sa=N Google Books], the earliest appearance of this quote is in the 1971 book ''Be Here Now'' by Ram Dass.

* I don't believe in mathematics.
** He's quoted saying this sometime before 1910 on p. 3 of [http://arxiv.org/abs/physics/0504179 this paper], with the reference given as [http://books.google.com/books?id=YJvvAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22believe+in+mathematics%22#search_anchor p. 21] of ''The Young Einstein'' by Lewis Pyenson. The paper talks about how his attitude towards mathematics evolved, he's also quoted at the top of p. 5 saying &quot;I have become imbued with great respect for mathematics, the subtler part of which I had in my simple-mindedness regarded as pure luxury until now.&quot; Also, more context for the &quot;don't believe in mathematics&quot; comment is given on p. 76 of ''Einstein: A Life'' by Denis Brian, where Brian writes that Einstein &quot;demonstrated his cavalier attitude toward math one afternoon in a café when he and engineer Gustave Ferriere were discussing math’s rigid rules. Einstein placed five matches on the table and asked, 'What is the total length of these five matches if each is two and a half inches long?' 'Twelve and a half inches,' Ferriere replied. 'That’s what you say,' said Einstein. 'But I very much doubt it. I don’t believe in mathematics.' &quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:31, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* I don't pretend to understand the universe — it's much bigger than I am.
** Only published example is [http://books.google.com/books?id=7KdZjp5gQAAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA36#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this one from 2008] which gives no source. Was circulating on the internet long before that, earliest post I found with it was [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.bicycles/msg/b7bc285ff250c646 this one from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:37, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I fear the day when technology overlaps our humanity. It will be then that the world will have permanent ensuing generations of idiots.
**Above quote does not appear in The Ultimate Quotable Einstein compiled by Alice Calaprice, a renowned Einstein expert and of Princeton University Press.

* I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.
** Attributed to Einstein on page 175 of Jill Bolte Taylor's ''My Stroke of Insight''. Don't think this is necessarily a reliable source though.
** No published sources earlier than ''My Stroke of Insight'', but it was on the internet long before then so she probably got it from there--earliest internet post I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/soc.motss/msg/e4fc8f3258989680 this one from 1992]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:40, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
** Earliest published source I find is the 1968 book ''Training within the organization: a study of company policy and procedures for the systematic training of operators and supervisors'' which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=K_4tAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22never+teach+my+pupils%22#search_anchor p. 126] says: &quot;It was probably in the latter sense that Professor Einstein in talking about teaching once remarked: 'I never ''teach'' my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.' &quot; No source is given, and none of the other books I saw gave a source either. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:47, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* I think and think, for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
** Earliest appearance seems to be the 1939 book ''Albert Einstein: Maker of Universes'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=UpPuAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22hundredth+time%22#search_anchor p. 96]. Just says this was a comment he made to &quot;a friend&quot; so it's not clear if the author actually got a firsthand account or was just repeating a story he heard through the grapevine (this is the same book that has the unsourced &quot;Before God we are all equally wise, equally foolish&quot; quote above). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:04, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

* I think that a particle must have a separate reality independent of the measurements. That is an electron has spin, location and so forth even when it is not being measured. I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it.
** Earliest published version found is the 1999 book ''Words Fail Me'' by Patricia O'Conner, [http://books.google.com/books?id=ltjQYOpKXe0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA41#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 41]. Earliest internet post is [http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.catala/msg/ddc3a350310a327f this one from 1996]. The part about the moon is probably based on Abraham Pais' recollection in [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]], &quot;We often discussed his notions on objective reality. I recall that during one walk Einstein suddenly stopped, turned to me and asked whether I really believed that the moon exists only when I look at it.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:41, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* I want to know how God created this world. I'm not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details.
** said to be from E. Salaman, &quot;A Talk With Einstein,&quot; The Listener 54 (1955), pp. 370-371 [http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/godcomments.html] [[User:Lanulos|Lanulos]] ([[User talk:Lanulos|talk]]) 19:10, 4 October 2012 (UTC)

* If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
** Earliest references I found are two from 1996, [http://books.google.com/books?id=tY3v5-6kL6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA7#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Fad Surfing in the Boardroom] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=Vek1MTCYSi8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA87#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false The Next Step in Database Marketing]. None of the books that I saw gave an original source for the quote. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:37, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* If I give you a penny, you will be one penny richer and I'll be one penny poorer. But if I give you an idea, you will have a new idea, but I shall still have it, too.
** Only published source found on google books with &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;penny richer&quot; is ''Open Life: The Philosophy of Open Source'' from 2006, which has it on [http://books.google.com/books?id=ZyB5dt756HQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 21]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.
** I found LOTS of attributions of this quote including many books, but I couldn't find any that gave a source.  Some references cite the ratio as 59:1.  The furthest variation I found was [http://www.gurteen.com/gurteen/gurteen.nsf/id/L004680/ here] in another quote database.  --[[User:WBTtheFROG|WBTtheFROG]] 14:40, 10 January 2012 (UTC)
** Searching on google books shows it appears in a lot of business books and books on &quot;creativity&quot; but there don't seem to be any historical or scientific ones among them. Earliest I found was the 1995 book ''Creative Problem Solving and Opportunity Finding'' by J. Daniel Cougar, where it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=nMoOAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22hour+to+save+the+world%22#search_anchor p. 178]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:57, 10 January 2012 (UTC)

* If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research.
** Variant: If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
** Earliest published variant I find attributing it to Einstein is &quot;If we knew what it was we were doing, it wouldn't be called 'research,' would it?&quot; from p. 272 of ''Natural Capitalism'' from 1999 (to see it, go to the [http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Capitalism-Paul-Hawken/dp/0316353167 amazon page] and &quot;search inside the book&quot; for the word &quot;Einstein&quot;). Was attributed to Einstein on the internet befor that though, earliest I saw was [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/msg/d9bf63d81c0eab48 this one from 26 April 1994]. And if you search google books for &quot;if we knew what we were doing&quot; and &quot;research&quot; ''without'' Einstein, you find examples that just present it as an old joke and don't mention Einstein, earliest I found was ''Yearbook of Procurement Articles'' by John Whelan from 1977, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Miq5AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=research+%22if+we+knew+what+we+were+doing%22#search_anchor p. 32] 'I have a colleague who delights in saying, &quot;If we knew what we were doing, we wouldn't need research.&quot;' And ''Organizing for Tomorrow: Reports from the Think-Tanks and the Trenches'' from 1985 has this comment on [http://books.google.com/books?id=-6wVAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22if+we+knew+what+we+were+doing%22#search_anchor p. 19]: 'I flashed back on a quote that hung in one of my old offices for several years: &quot;If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research.&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:30, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
**Another variant dates to the astronomer J. Allen Hynek in 1951: &quot;If we know the answer before we start, it wouldn't be research.&quot; [https://books.google.com/books?id=4BpMAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22it+wouldn%27t+be+research%22&amp;dq=%22it+wouldn%27t+be+research%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwih9rCnwMLtAhWoTN8KHfCLCUk4MhDoATAAegQIABAC] [[User:gmusser]]

* If one day you have to choose between the world and love, remember: If you choose the world you’ll be left without love, but if you choose love, with it you will conquer the world
** Searching for [http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=if%20one%20day%20you%20have%20to%20choose%20between%20the%20world%20and%20love if one day you have to choose between the world and love] on google gives over 300,000,000 hits; from the top hits most of them attribute the quote to Einstein, others give no attribution. I couldn't find any reputable source. The earliest reference I could find on [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?safe=off&amp;q=%22if+one+day+you+have+to+choose%22+%22einstein%22&amp;btnG=Search google groups] is from 2010. --[[User:NavarroJ|NavarroJ]] ([[User talk:NavarroJ|talk]]) 21:22, 20 November 2012 (UTC)

* If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
** Earliest published reference found is the 2003 book ''Nuggest of Wisdom from the Effendi'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=0OD4zd1HdSIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA81#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 81], earliest internet reference found is [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sources/msg/10ae7bfc62f91a13 this post from 27 April 1989].
**Perhaps a paraphrase of &quot;Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hopes of reward after death&quot;, from [[Albert_Einstein#Religion_and_Science_.281930.29|Religion and Science]] (it's at the end of the quote that begins with &quot;The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation...&quot;) Another similar one is from a 1948 interview recorded in [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29|Einstein and the Poet]] where he said &quot;What a miserable creature man would be if he were good not for the sake of being good, but because religion told him that he would get a reward after this life, and that if he weren't good he'd be punished.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* If the solution is simple, God is answering.
** Didn't find any published sources earlier than [http://books.google.com/books?id=nGJXAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22If+the+solution+is+simple%2C+God+is+answering%22#search_anchor ''Esquire: Volume 106''] (1988). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

&quot;Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.&quot;
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:81.37.67.0|81.37.67.0]] ([[User talk:81.37.67.0|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/81.37.67.0|contribs]]) 02:36, 4 August 2007  (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

:It is quoted by einstien in his book, even steve harvey mentioned it on his show! https://steveharvey.com/preview-the-coming-attractions-in-your-life/#:~:text=Albert%20Einstein%20has%20a%20famous,that%20is%20just%20for%20you.

* It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
** This was simply cited as an anonymous saying in the earliest publication which has been located: ''How to Give a Damn Good Speech: Even When You Have No Time to Prepare'' (2000) by Philip R. Theibert, [http://books.google.com/books?id=6TpgjD119qsC&amp;q=%22miracle+that+curiosity+survives%22#search_anchor p. 154]; the earliest published attribution of this to Einstein yet located is in ''House-Dreams'' (2001) by Hugh Howard, [http://books.google.com/books?id=YnteWePb4o8C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA45#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 45], while it was attributed to Einstein on the internet well before that, the oldest located being [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor.funny/msg/69d10d8ec2fc733c this post from 4 August 1989]. It has since become attributed to Einstein in several publications, but without citation of an original source.
** It's a rather close paraphrase of the following from his Autobiographical Notes: &quot;It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.&quot;

* It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom.
** It is easier to disintegrate an atom than a prejudice.
** Earliest version I found is [http://books.google.com/books?id=4owgAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=prejudice#search_anchor this one from 1984], but none that I saw gave a source, I doubt it's real. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:12, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
** Earlier variant, still no source: &quot;It is a sad age when it is more difficult to break a prejudice than an atom.&quot; ''Facts Forum news, Volume 4, Issue 7'' from 1955, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=gxtUAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=difficult+prejudice+%22than+an+atom%22#search_anchor this page]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:53, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''It's become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.'''
* '''It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.'''
** As quoted in ''Voices of Truth : Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers, and Healers'' (2000) by Nina L. Diamond, p. 429; no publication of this statement has been located prior to it's use in the film ''[[Powder (film)|Powder]]'' (1995) written by [[w:Victor Salva|Victor Salva]], where it is presented as a quote of Einstein. 
**More information about this can be found in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/10/25/tech-exceeded/ this post] from [http://quoteinvestigator.com Quote Investigator] [[User:Jjjjjjjjjj|Jjjjjjjjjj]] ([[User talk:Jjjjjjjjjj|talk]]) 00:03, 21 December 2012 (UTC)


* It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.
** Earliest source I found was the 1996 book ''Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=mkikSTtru_cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA17#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 17]. But no source is given, and I don't see any other books that give a source either.  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:20, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.'''
**Over 600K hits for this phrase on google, the top 100 attributing it to Einstein (I didn't scroll through the rest), but I can't find anything pointing to a legitimate source for this quote. Any ideas? [[User:Phlar|Phlar]] ([[User talk:Phlar|talk]]) 19:21, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
** Doing an [http://groups.google.com/advanced_search advanced google groups search] for &quot;logic will get you&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; with the date range restricted to 1981-2002, earliest I found was the Oct. 14 1999 quote from Cowboy Greg [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-14351.html here]. The same search on [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22logic+will+get+you%22+einstein google books] with the date range 1900-2004 yields only two books I could confirm to have the quote inside, both from 2004, [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-O5bTIRyUoC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA123#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Machine Learning And Statistical Modeling Approaches To Image Retrieval, p. 123] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=D3S2I_rrKBkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT74#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Ode to Code], at the end of the book before the &quot;About the Author&quot; page (pages un-numbered). Probably this is one of those quotes that got its start on the internet. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:17, 13 June 2012 (UTC)
** Quote is in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by The Ultimate Quotable Einstein (Hardcover) by Freeman Dyson and Albert Einstein and Alice Calaprice on p. 481 but lists it as &quot;Attributed to Albert Einstein&quot; which was originally published in 1996. [[Special:Contributions/2602:D8:A1BF:E600:C991:6369:6CEA:C5A3|2602:D8:A1BF:E600:C991:6369:6CEA:C5A3]] 16:59, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
*** It's true it appears in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', but it appears in the &quot;Probably Not By Einstein&quot; subsection of the &quot;Attributed&quot; section, indicating that Calaprice couldn't find a source and considers it unlikely to be a real Einstein quote. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:45, 24 June 2012 (UTC)

* No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
** A bunch of pre-1950 sources for this but they all say this is something he is &quot;reported to have said&quot; without giving an exact source. Earliest I find is in ''Science News-Letter, Volume 14'' which according to the title page collects issues from [http://books.google.com/books?id=w4koAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22June+to+December%2C+1928%22#search_anchor June to December, 1928], the quote appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=w4koAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22no+amount+of+experimentation%22#search_anchor p. 52].
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' Alice Calaprice speculates on p. 291 that 'This may be a paraphrase of sentiments expressed in &quot;Induction and Deduction,&quot; December 25, 1919, CPAE, Vol. 7, Doc. 28'. ''Einstein's Unification'' by Jeroen van Dongen has a quote from the article (full English title given as &quot;Induction and Deduction in Physics&quot;) on [http://books.google.com/books?id=T8Fde0u_XyIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA44#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 44]: 'A theory can thus be recognized as erroneous if there is a logical error in its deductions, or as inadequate if a fact is not in agreement with its consequences. But the ''truth'' of a theory can never be proven. For one never knows that even in the future no experience will be encountered which contradicts its consequences; and still other systems of thought are always conceivable which are capable of joining together the same given facts.' Also, [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA18#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 18] of ''Albert Einstein, the Human Side'' has a note he wrote down on 11 Nov 1922 which expresses a basically similar idea: 'The scientific theorist is not to be envied. For Nature, or more precisely experiment, is an inexorable and not very friendly judge of his work. It never says &quot;Yes&quot; to a theory. In the most favorable cases it says &quot;Maybe,&quot; and in the great majority of cases simply &quot;No.&quot; If an experiment agrees with a theory it means for the latter &quot;Maybe,&quot; and if it does not agree it means &quot;No.&quot; Probably every theory will someday experience its &quot;No&quot;—most theories, soon after conception.' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:50, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a [[:w:vegetarian|vegetarian]] diet.
** Earliest published source I could find was [http://books.google.com/books?id=unsaGbsLC5oC&amp;q=%22benefit+human+health+and+increase+the+chances%22+einstein#search_anchor this book from 1992], earliest appearance I could find on the internet was [http://groups.google.com/group/rec.food.veg/msg/cdcabaa45f96a189?hl=en this post from 1991]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:30, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
**Perhaps a variant of this quote that appears in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice, p. 281 of my edition, in the &quot;Vegetarianism&quot; section of the &quot;On Miscellaneous Subjects&quot; chapter: &quot;Although I have been prevented by outward circumstances from observing a strictly vegetarian diet, I have long been an adherent to the cause in principle. Besides agreeing with the aims of vegetarianism for aesthetic and moral reasons, it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind.&quot; From a letter to Harmann Huth, 27 December 1930. Supposedly published in German magazine ''Vegetarische Warte'', which existed from 1882 to 1935. Einstein Archive 46-756 [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:06, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
** Don't see any published examples before 2004, earliest internet post I see with this quote attributed to Einstein is [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.leo-dicaprio/msg/f1186c319098589e this one from 19 August 1998], but I see [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sci.physics.new-theories/msg/c89e8b1aea266f2c this earlier post from 18 November 1996] where someone says &quot;After accepting relativity, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy!&quot; and they don't attribute it to Einstein or anyone else. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Problems cannot be solved by the level of awareness that created them.
**variant: We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
**variant: The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
**variant: No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.
** This articles points to the proper source and context for this quote http://icarus-falling.blogspot.ca/2009/06/einstein-enigma.html
**** Comment: In the main text this quote is related to nuclear politics, but it has a interesting flavour of Godel's theorem; if the source is to be found, it should be in this context.
** Don't see any books that give an original source, and earliest publication on google books with &quot;same level of awareness&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; is the 1997 book ''The Living Company'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=reXtAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22same+level+of+awareness%22#search_anchor p. x]. Earliest posts on google groups with this quote are from March 1995, like [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/cc09dcde99c98102 this one]. Also, for the variants involving &quot;thinking&quot;, in [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]] there's a discussion of the quote &quot;A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels&quot;, which mentions that Alice Calaprice speculated that some similar unsourced quotes about the need to change our &quot;thinking&quot; to better the world may be misquotes of that one. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:12, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** The variant &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot; can be found on google groups before the &quot;same level of awareness&quot; version, earliest I found was in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.rock-n-roll.metal/msg/f5b9aec33a12ed20 this post from March 1992]. This is also earlier than variants with &quot;same kind of thinking&quot; and &quot;same consciousness that created&quot;, so maybe this is the earliest version that the others mutated from. There are also pre-1992 versions of the &quot;same level of thinking&quot; quote on google books, earliest I found was the 1990 book ''The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=wlBqAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22The+significant+problems+we+face+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 42] (this was a pretty popular book so it would have been a good patient zero for spreading this meme!) And just looking for books with &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;same level of thinking&quot; it looks like a slightly older variant is &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.&quot; This appears in the 1988 book ''Take this job and love it'' by Dennis T. Jaffe and Cynthia D. Scott, [http://books.google.com/books?id=yjMOcRH7rVkC&amp;q=einstein+%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 60]. It also appears without quotation marks on [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 54] of ''The Quest, Vol. 1-2'' (1988) from the Theosophical Society. (edit: I thought at first ''The Quest'' could be the original source of the quote since it gives a paraphrase rather than claiming to be a direct quote, but see below...) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:40, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
** I missed an even earlier &quot;same level of thinking&quot; example from 1985: ''The 1985 Annual: Developing Human Resources, Issue 14'' by Leonard D. Goodstein and J. William Pfeiffer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 185]: &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking.&quot; ''The Quest'' might still be the source of &quot;the world we have made&quot; part that appears in some of these quotes, though. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:17, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
**Looks like the article in ''The Quest'' is &quot;Believing Is Seeing, Not the Reverse&quot; by &quot;educator Edward T. Clark, Jr.&quot; mentioned on [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22believing+is+seeing%22#search_anchor p. 4], which begins on p. 49 and [http://books.google.com/books?id=_7ZAAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22edward+t.+clark%22#search_anchor ends on p. 56] (the Einstein quote is p. 54). From the byline at the end, this article is from 1988, so it probably doesn't predate the quote in ''Take this job and love it'' since [http://www.amazon.com/Take-This-Job-Love-Changing/dp/0671638548 according to amazon] that book was published in March 1988, and the quote given there is said to be the motto of an already-existing organization, &quot;The Organizational Management and Leadership Program at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:43, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
** Ah, searching for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; rather than &quot;same level of thinking&quot; turns up a much earlier example from ''The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, Volumes 1-4'', which is dated 1969 by google books though [http://books.google.com/books?id=Hr4tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=copyright#search_anchor these snippets] show it contains pieces from 1969 and 1970. The quote, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Hr4tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor p. 124], is &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at.&quot; It's prefaced by &quot;Einstein said an interesting thing&quot;, and the same phrase and quote appears in a 1974 book by [[w:Ram Dass|Ram Dass]] (who needs his own wikiquote page!), ''The Only Dance There Is'', on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ske6kzQlmKcC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT50#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page], so presumably the one in ''The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology'' is the same piece by Ram Dass. Ram Dass may also be the source of another misquote, the one at [[Talk:Albert_Einstein#Quote_Misattribution.3F]]--whatta rascal! [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:09, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
***Also, the next two earliest versions I find on google books (searching for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; on an [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22level+of+thinking%22+einstein advanced search] with date range 1900-1979) use wording nearly identical to the version given by [[Ram Dass]] (who now does have a wikiquote page): [http://books.google.com/books?id=LP0tAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor Skeptic 1-10, p. 55] (1974), which from [http://books.google.com/books?id=gD0gAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22A+Radical+Restructuring+An+Interview+with+David+Dellinger%22#search_anchor this snippet] is from the article &quot;A Radical Restructuring: An Interview with [[w:David Dellinger|David Dellinger]]&quot;, and [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor New Age, Volume 5, p. 42] (1979), with the rest of the quote in [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22problems+that+we+cannot%22#search_anchor this snippet]...here &quot;New Age&quot; appears to be the same magazine as the [[w:New Age Journal|New Age Journal]] founded by Peggy Taylor, whose name appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22peggy+taylor%22#search_anchor this snippet], a snippet that also mentions &quot;Faith, Science, and the Future by David Harris&quot; which seems to start on [http://books.google.com/books?id=gUU7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Faith%2C+science+and+the+future%22#search_anchor p. 41] of the google books edition, so that's probably the article the Einstein quote on p. 42 comes from (the snippet with Peggy Taylor also lists &quot;Faith, Science, and the Future&quot; as appearing in the October 1979 issue). The supposed Einstein quote from Skeptic reads &quot;the world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the level of thinking at which we created them&quot;, and the one from New Age reads &quot;the world that we have made, as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far, creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them&quot;, both identical to Ram Dass' quote in the first part and very close in the second part. Since Ram Dass generally spoke extemporaneously without using notes, and ''The Only Dance There Is'' says the section with the Einstein quote is from talks he gave to &quot;spiritual seekers&quot; at &quot;the Menninger Foundation in 1970&quot;, it's likely he would have been paraphrasing a bit even if his source was some other unknown one that also misquoted Einstein (as opposed to him being the original source of the misquote as I am speculating). So if the only other sources found in the 1970s repeat Ram Dass' exact wording, it seems pretty likely that Ram Dass (or some secondary source that got the quote from Ram Dass) was the source for them. And the later variants that emerged in the 1980s and 1990s might well be all from authors that got their quotes in a chain of influences that goes back to Ram Dass' version. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:34, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
***And expanding the date range of the search to 1900-1985, the next earliest version of the quote after the ones above is again almost identical in wording to Ram Dass' version (aside from replacing &quot;cannot&quot; with &quot;can't&quot;): [http://books.google.com/books?id=6GNHAAAAMAAJ Community mental health and behavioral-ecology (1982)]. Google is a bit glitchy so no result is found when I go to the book's page and search &quot;Einstein&quot; or &quot;level of thinking&quot;, but the book appears on p. 2 of all the search results for those words with date range 1900-1985, alongside the snippet: &quot;... AND KNOWLEDGE BASES The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can 't solve at the same level as the level we created them at. (Albert Einstein; cited by Ulrich.&quot; Then after this book, the next-earliest that is verified to have the words &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;level of thinking&quot; by google books is [http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=einstein+%22level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor The 1985 Annual: Developing Human Resources, Issue 14, p. 185] (1985). This book has the first major variant on Ram Dass' version that I've found, &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 16:00, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
****Found the above ''Community mental health and behavior-ecology'', the quote appears on p. 1: ''The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can't solve at the same level as the level we created them at. (Albert Einstin; cited by Ulrich, 1980, p. 2.)'' And the &quot;Ulrich&quot; reference is: ''Ulrich, R. E. The use of behavior modification strategies to increase the probability of attendance at evening chapel through the use of food contingent reinforcement at the Life Line Mission, San Francisco, California. ''Behaviorists for Social Action Journal'', 1980, ''2'' (2), 1-2.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 17:57, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
***Searching for the phrase &quot;solve at the same level we created them&quot; turns up a few other sources that for some reason didn't turn up when I searched &quot;level of thinking&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; (google book searches seem to be very glitchy): The 1975 book ''More power than we know: the people's movement toward democracy'' by David Dellinger, [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ys4DAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22solve+at+the+same+level+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 291] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them at&quot;); 1982's ''Perspectives'', Volume 14, Issue 3 from the United States Commission on Civil Rights, [http://books.google.com/books?id=zsgyOzvb6FUC&amp;q=%22solve+at+the+same+level+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 26] (same version as Dellinger book); and The 1982 book ''Nuclear Power, Both Sides: The Best Arguments for and Against the Most Controversial Technology'' by Michio Kaku and Jennifer Trainer, [http://books.google.com/books?id=7A9A9BSk0eUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA238#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 238] (nearly the same as the Dellinger book, but with &quot;The world we have made&quot; in place of &quot;The world ''that'' we have made&quot;). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:36, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
***I also seem to get different results when I use Safari than when I use Firefox. Searching for &quot;level of thinking&quot; and &quot;Einstein&quot; on Safari, and sorting the results by date and looking at the earliest, I also see the 1979 volume ''Behaviorists for Social Action journal'', Volumes 2-3, [http://books.google.com/books?id=xYAXAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22level+of+thinking%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 2] (the quote here is &quot;The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we can't solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;), and searching for &quot;world that we have made&quot; and &quot;einstein&quot; gives the various pre-1985 sources: the1980 book ''Beat the system!: A way to create more human environments'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=_I62AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 1] (&quot;The world that we have have made as a result of the level of thinking that we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them&quot;), the 1983 book ''The Optimum utilization of knowledge: making knowledge serve human betterment'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=N7qOAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 295] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the level we created them at&quot;), and ''1984 National Science Foundation Authorization: Hearings Before the Subcommittee on Science, Research, and Technology of the Committee on Science and Technology, U.S. House of Representatives, Ninety-eighth Congress, First Session, on H.R. 2066, February 23, 25; March 1, 8, 10, 1983'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=sV0VAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22world+that+we+have+made%22#search_anchor p. 240] (&quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;). Again, all of these pre-1985 quotes seem to be very close to Ram Dass' version from 1970, &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 03:54, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
** Trying to judge which are more popular variants, and the order they appeared in published sources. &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot;: 313 results on google books ([http://books.google.com/books?id=wlBqAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+face+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1990]). &quot;We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them&quot;: 222 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=0S2fgVXOfyEC&amp;q=%22We+can%27t+solve+problems+by+using+the+same+kind+of+thinking+we+used+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 2000]). &quot;No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it&quot;: 119 results (earliest are two from 1993, [http://books.google.com/books?id=q_PaBDmfC4YC&amp;q=%22No+problem+can+be+solved+from+the+same+consciousness+that+created+it%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=_NPgAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22No+problem+can+be+solved+from+the+same+consciousness+that+created+it%22#search_anchor here]). &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them&quot;: 65 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=D7RO7XbekbIC&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+have+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+with+which+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1995]). &quot;The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking&quot;: 32 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=I1V8XPk10EcC&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+created+is+a+product+of+our+thinking%3B+it+cannot+be+changed+without+changing+our+thinking%22#search_anchor earliest 1993]). &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them&quot;: 18 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=BDYGdfiAGtoC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA82#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false earliest 1992]). &quot;The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them&quot;: 14 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=B4giAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+made+as+a+result+of+the+level+of+thinking+we+have+done+thus+far+creates+problems+we+cannot+solve+at+the+same+level+at+which+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1986]). &quot;The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level as the level we created them at&quot;: 6 results (earliest is Ram Dass' talk above, said in book's introduction to be from 1970). &quot;The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot;: 4 results ([http://books.google.com/books?id=yjMOcRH7rVkC&amp;q=%22The+significant+problems+we+have+cannot+be+solved+at+the+same+level+of+thinking+we+were+at+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor earliest 1988]). &quot;Our thinking has created problems which cannot be solved by that same level of thinking&quot;: 1 result ([http://books.google.com/books?id=rkC3AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Our+thinking+has+created+problems+which+cannot+be+solved+by+that+same+level+of+thinking%22#search_anchor 1985]). Maybe I'll add some of the more popular variants to the &quot;Disputed&quot; or &quot;Misattributed&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:55, 13 December 2011 (UTC)
***Another variant: &quot;A problem can't be solved at the same level it was created.&quot; From the 1986 book ''The power of people skills: a manager's guide to assessing and developing your organization's greatest resource'' by John Douglas Stewart, [http://books.google.com/books?id=kfgJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22can%27t+be+solved%22+%22same+level%22#search_anchor p. 127]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 04:09, 22 July 2012 (UTC)

* Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.
** Couldn't find any books that give an original source, earliest one I found with this quote was ''Words for all Occasions'' by Glenn Van Ekeren (1988), [http://books.google.com/books?id=wwi4s5qkXvoC&amp;q=%22not+the+main+means%22+einstein#search_anchor p. 234]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:41, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* '''So long there are men, there will be wars.'''
** Appears in ''Einstein: A Life'' by Denis Brian, [http://books.google.com/books?id=05XuAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22there+will+be+wars%22#search_anchor p. 172]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
** Variant: The greatest difference between genius and stupidity is that genius is limited.
** Earliest published source I find attributing it to Einstein is the 1999 publication ''73 amateur radio today, Issues 460-470'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=EIdVAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=einstein+stupidity+%22genius+has+its+limits%22#search_anchor p. 57]. It's attributed to Einstein in internet posts before then, earliest I found was from [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.pascal.delphi.misc/msg/7ac93566ab9401dc?hl=en 7 August 1995]. But the quote was presented as an anonymous saying well before that, earliest I found was the 1961 ''Grassroots Editor'' which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=JtgQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=stupidity+%22genius+has+its+limits%22#search_anchor p. 34] &quot;One man says that the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:10, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

*The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution. Attributed to Einstein, A., &amp; Infeld, L. (1938). The evolution of physics. New York: Simon &amp; Schuster. --[[User:Lbeaumont|Lbeaumont]] ([[User talk:Lbeaumont|talk]]) 15:46, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

* The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.
** Only 3 published sources on google books, earliest is the 2003 book ''Still Life With Crows'' by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, [http://books.google.com/books?id=yE7SYGtSOgMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA189#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 189]. 

* The only source of knowledge is experience.
** Commonly attributed, google books returns over 600 phrase matches but I cannot find the original source amongst these results. Appears to be a restatement of an actual quote from ''The Critique of Pure Reason'' by Immanuel Kant which is already on WQ [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Immanuel_Kant#Critique_of_Pure_Reason_.281781.3B_1787.29#search_anchor B 1]

* The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
** As quoted in ''How to Think like Einstein : Simple Ways to Break the Rules and Discover Your Hidden Genius'' (2000); in the earliest published occurence of this yet located, in ''The Art of the Shmooze'' (1998) by Bret Saxon and Steve Stein, p. 156, it is implied to be something said by [[Conan O'Brien]], but no definite citation is provided. A number of posts on [[w:Usenet|Usenet]] attributed the quote to Einstein before this, the earliest located being [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en this post from 9 February 1989] (it is possible this post is mis-dated by google, since other posts with this quote are not found until the mid-90s, see [http://groups.google.com/groups/search?hl=en&amp;as_q=&amp;as_epq=knowing+how+to+hide+your+sources&amp;as_oq=&amp;as_eq=&amp;num=10&amp;scoring=&amp;lr=&amp;as_sitesearch=&amp;as_qdr=&amp;as_drrb=b&amp;as_mind=1&amp;as_minm=1&amp;as_miny=1981&amp;as_maxd=1&amp;as_maxm=1&amp;as_maxy=1997&amp;as_ugroup=&amp;as_usubject=&amp;as_uauthors=&amp;safe=off&amp;sa=N&amp;start=0 this search]).
**The Usenet post is probably not mis-dated by Google.  If you look at the original post using &quot;more options&quot; it clearly shows &quot;Date: 9 Feb 89 13:43:00 GMT&quot; [[User:Jupiter9|Jupiter9]] ([[User talk:Jupiter9|talk]]) 17:52, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
***Do you think google has a separate record for the date that appears in the &quot;more options&quot; version and the date that appears at the upper right of the [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en version I linked to]? Seems unlikely to me, they probably just have a single computer record of the date of a given post, so the fact that the same date appears under &quot;more options&quot; wouldn't qualify as independent confirmation of the date. Still, I do think the date is most likely correct despite the gap in time between this post and later ones with the same quote, there could well be other posts in between that just didn't show up in the search (I've noticed that searches of google groups are often unreliable, often I'll search for posts with a given set of keywords, then do another search with slightly different but similar keywords, and come across posts that ''should'' have showed up in the first search but didn't). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 16:08, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

* The substance of our knowledge resides in the detailed terminology of a field.
** Listed in the &quot;possibly or probably by einstein&quot; section of Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'', but the only other source I can find that gives this quote is ''Terminology and Language Planning: an alternative framework of practice and discourse'' by Bassy Edem Antia (2000), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Zx-1Txwzvt0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA100#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 100]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:59, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The world needs heroes and it's better they be harmless men like me than villains like Hitler.
** Appears in ''Return to mathematical circles: a fifth collection of mathematical stories and anecdotes'' by Howard Whitley Eves (1988), [http://books.google.com/books?id=v_PuAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22needs+heroes%22#search_anchor p. 21]. Without seeing more of the context than the snippet provided, it's not really possible to tell whether it's a firsthand anecdote from the sculptor Robert Berks who he supposedly made the comment to. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:21, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
** Searching on google books for &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;product of our thinking&quot;, and restricting the date range to 2004 or earlier, [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22product+of+our+thinking%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202004&amp;num=10 only turns up a small number of publications] (earliest is ''Bottom line, personal: Volume 18'' from 1997), none of which provide an original source. Doing the same search on google groups, earliest post I found with this quote was [http://groups.google.com/group/la.wanted/msg/c389e942dfcf788c this one from 1996]. In [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]] there's a discussion of the quote &quot;A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels&quot;, which mentions that Alice Calaprice speculated that some similar unsourced quotes about the need to change our &quot;thinking&quot; to better the world may be misquotes of that one. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:03, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Searching instead for &quot;einstein&quot; and &quot;world we have created&quot;, the two earliest I find are from 1992, one is ''Changing course: a global business perspective on development and the environment'' by Stephan Schmidheiny, which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=BDYGdfiAGtoC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA82#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 82] has the totally convoluted-sounding &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them&quot; (the edition on google books is the fifth printing from 1998, so it's possible the 1992 edition might not have had the quote), and the other is ''Forbes, Vol 150, Issues 6-10'' which on [http://books.google.com/books?id=rRm8AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22The+world+we+have+created+today+has+problems+that+cannot+be+solved+by+thinking+the+way+we+thought+when+we+created+them%22#search_anchor p. 177] has the slightly less convoluted &quot;The world we have created today has problems that cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them.&quot; Quotes with &quot;the world we have made&quot; probably predate ones with &quot;world we have created&quot;, since the phrase &quot;world we have made&quot; appears in the 1969 or 1970 article by Ram Dass, mentioned above in the discussion of a variant of the quote &quot;Problems cannot be solved by the level of awareness that created them&quot;, and the Ram Dass article also contains the phrase &quot;thus far&quot; which appears in both quotes above. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:57, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

* There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.
** [https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/debunking-fake-albert-einstein-quotes/ only became attributed to Einstein around 1993, which casts further doubt on it being Einstein’s.]

* Those who have the privilege to know, have the duty to act.
** The earliest reference to this I can find is [http://www.no2torture.org/quotes/quotes_speaking.shtml this page from 2001] and no proper citations. --[[User:Kelly.stanonik|Kelly.stanonik]] ([[User talk:Kelly.stanonik|talk]]) 12:38, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
***The copyright notice at the bottom of the page actually says 2005-2006, not 2001. I found a pre-2005 reference on [http://books.google.com/books?id=zxvFXkH0828C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PR27#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. xxvii of the book Rocky Mountain Futures] which according to google is from 2002, but again no original source is given. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 20:36, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

* We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life. All that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
** Often attributed to Einstein, but probably false.  Also attributed to Charles Kingsley [http://nielsenhayden.com/electrolite/archives/earchive_2001_09.html as far back as 2001].

* We are slowed down sound and light waves, a walking bundle of frequencies tuned into the cosmos. We are souls dressed up in sacred biochemical garments and our bodies are the instruments through which our souls play their music
** this is all over the internet, and just... sounds desperately wrong to me.  I can't find a source, and Google shows nothing prior to 2/1/2001, though that might be just the limits of their archives.  [[User:StephanCom|StephanCom]] ([[User talk:StephanCom|talk]])

* We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
** Probably false, since [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22we+owe+a+lot+to+the+indians%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202002&amp;num=10 this google book search] shows no published versions before 2000, before that it was on the internet, earliest version I found was [http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.pakistan/msg/05796fc2a5b607af?hl=en this post from 1997]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:01, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* We still do not know one thousandth of one percent what nature has revealed to us.
** This is widely attributed to Einstein on various quotation Web sites and social networking pages, but I was unable to find a citation to the original source. The [http://www.google.com/search?q=We+still+do+not+know+one+thousandth+of+one+percent+what+nature+has+revealed+to+us.&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 Google Books] results show only recent books, some of them about New Age spirituality and alternative medicine. --[[User:Jurisfiction|Jurisfiction]] ([[User talk:Jurisfiction|talk]]) 03:27, 22 July 2013 (UTC)

* What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.
** Usually attributed to Einstein online, but I also found attributions to [[Howard Cosell]] (!) (see discussion on his talk page?) [[User:Mathmannix|Mathmannix]] ([[User talk:Mathmannix|talk]]) 17:02, 10 January 2020 (UTC)

*You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.
** Earliest published sourced found is ''West's federal reporter: cases argued and determined in the United States courts of appeals and Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals'' (2001), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q7s1AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22steal+money+from+it%22#search_anchor p. 1165].
** More details on the origins of this quote in [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/09/09/einstein-roulette/ this post] from Quote Investigator. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 22:24, 26 September 2012 (UTC)

* You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. [[User:Jbgfour|Jbgfour]] ([[User talk:Jbgfour|talk]]) 01:35, 8 September 2015 (UTC)

* You never fail until you stop trying.
** Earliest version I could find is from [https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Postal_Record/gSKdAAAAMAAJ?kptab=editions&amp;gbpv=1&amp;bsq=%22you%20never%20fail%20until%20you%20stop%20trying%22 The Postal Record, Volume 91, published 1978].
** I can't find anything attributing the quote to Einstein earlier than [https://www.google.com/books/edition/Learning_Core_Data_for_IOS/FerrAQAAQBAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;dq=%22you+never+fail+until+you+stop+trying%22+einstein&amp;pg=PA331&amp;printsec=frontcover 2013].[[User:Browlry|Browlry]] ([[User talk:Browlry|talk]]) 21:13, 21 August 2020 (UTC)

* I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence and the truth comes to me.

* God gave me the stubbornness of a mule and a fairly keen scent. [https://twitter.com/AlbertEinstein/status/1394973865089159169]

* ''Everything in the Universe is Vibration.'' [https://twitter.com/DegreaseNeil/status/1446901179338956806]

== Formerly unsourced, now in article == 

* A little knowledge is dangerous. So is a lot.
** From the TV program ''Eureka'' (2006)
**Appears in [http://books.google.com/books?id=TuMmAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22so+is+a+lot%22#search_anchor The Atlantic: vol. 216] from 1965. Doesn't seem like a direct quote, just something Einstein &quot;might have told you&quot; in an ad for Encyclopaedia Britannica--the full quote is &quot;Encyclopaedia Britannica says: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot. The more you know, the more you need to know — as Albert Einstein, for one, might have told you. Great knowledge has a way of bringing with it great responsibility. The people who put the Encyclopaedia Britannica together feel the same way. After all, if most of the world had come to count on you as the best single source of complete, accurate, up-to-date information on everything, you'd want to be pretty sure you knew what you were talking about.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:11, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:03, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* A man must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their sufferings.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:27, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.
** Earliest published source on google books attributing this to Einstein is [http://books.google.com/books?id=bQk7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor BMJ: The British Medical Journal], volume 319, 23 October 1999, p. 1102. [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.windows.x.i386unix/msg/f46f42ad37ca770b?hl=en This internet post from 1994] has the same quote, except attributed to E.F. Schumacher. And the quote appears attributed to Schumacher on [http://books.google.com/books?id=pVI6IX0k_CAC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA185#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 185] of ''Exploding the Myths of Modern Architecture'' by Malcolm Millais, where the source is given as &quot;an advertisement by ITDG (now Intermediate Technology) for ''Practical Answers to Poverty''. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:26, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Also appears in ''The Radical Humanist: volume 37'' from 1973, [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 22]. And as seen [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22small+is+beautiful%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=schumacher#search_anchor here], p. 18 is the beginning of a piece called &quot;Small is Beautiful&quot; by Schumacher so this quote is presumably from that piece (also see the right-hand search image [http://justinknoll.posterous.com/things-einstein-never-said-any-intelligent-fo here] showing the table of contents, which does show Schumacher's piece starting on p. 18 and the next one starting on p. 23, although when I search it doesn't show me the contents.) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:04, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Moved to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
** Appears in the 1959 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22silent+vice%22#search_anchor Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography] by Carl Seelig on p. 114, the context is &quot;On another occasion when someone in his company grew angry about a mutual acquaintance's moral decline he shrugged his shoulders lightly and said: 'As far as I'm concerned I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.'&quot; I think Seelig did primary research and talked to people who knew Einstein, so could maybe go in the &quot;posthumous&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:52, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:39, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. Human beings are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. Together they are powerful beyond imagination.
**Seems to be a variant of a quote (not by Einstein) from the 1969 ''Advances in Instrumentation: Vol 24, Part 4'' which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Computers+are+incredibly+fast%2C+accurate+and+stupid%22#search_anchor p. 16]: &quot;Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid. On the other hand, a well trained operator as compared with a computer is incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant. We think of this feature as 'intelligent override' in our control system.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:09, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
** Also, it looks like this is from the article &quot;A Paper Industry Application of Systems Engineering and Direct Digital Control&quot; by H. D. Couture, Jr. and M. A. Keyes which starts on [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22and+direct+digital+control%22#search_anchor p. 13]...you can see from the snippet of p. 13 that H.D. Couture Jr. is the Training Director at Eastex Incorporated, and searching for Eastex [http://books.google.com/books?id=A-YpAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=eastex#search_anchor shows] that it's mentioned on p. 15 and p. 16, which is the page where the quote appears. I see that a comment from &quot;stevestart&quot; on [http://www.benshoemate.com/2008/11/30/einstein-never-said-that/ this page] confirms the quote is from that article, but a comment by &quot;Toddulus&quot; mentions a variant of the quote was written by Robert O' Conner in April 1968 (see [http://journals.lww.com/joem/Citation/1968/04000/Fast,_Accurate_and_Stupid.10.aspx here]), and a comment by &quot;David&quot; gives a reference saying it was spoken by Leo Cherne in a speech from June 1968. Possibly it was just a cliche among certain professionals in computer-related industries at the time. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:14, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**And even earlier is ''Current'' from 1962, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=TwwQAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Man+is+a+slow%2C+sloppy%2C+and+brilliant+thinker%3B+computers+are+fast%2C+accurate%2C+and+stupid%22#search_anchor p. 53]: &quot;Man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; computers are fast, accurate and stupid.&quot; It seems from the snippet that this source is just quoting an earlier article, &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; which appeared in the October 1961 issue of ''Fortune'' magazine. As mentioned on [http://books.google.com/books?id=t_oKAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22problems%2C+too%2C+have+problems%22#search_anchor p. 101] of ''ASPO newsletter, Volumes 25-27'', the &quot;Problems, Too, Have Problems&quot; article was written by John Pfeiffer, and two other early sources credit Pfeiffer with the observation that computers are fast, accurate, and stupid, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=teYVAAAAIAAJ&amp;q=fast+accurate+stupid+pfeiffer#search_anchor p. 85] of ''Elementary English, Volume 39'' (1962), and ''The Journal of medical education, Volume 37, Issue 2'' (1962) on p. 72 (see [http://books.google.com/books?id=mjR0AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=pfeiffer#search_anchor this snippet] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=mjR0AAAAIAAJ&amp;q=fast+accurate+stupid#search_anchor this one].) So, most likely Pfeiffer's 1961 article is the original source of this saying. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:15, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**A similar phrase was used earlier in 1956 from the American Bar News Association newsletter Volume 1 - 6 [https://books.google.ie/books?id=GQsLAQAAMAAJ&amp;]: &quot;...into a form that can be handled by these incredibly rapid and accurate, but stupid machines&quot;, Biunno said.&quot;
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:04, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
**Not Einstein's own words, but he did quote it &quot;On Education&quot; from 1936, which appears in ''Out of My Later Years''. His comment was 'Thus the wit was not wrong who defined education in this way: &quot;Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything he learned in school.&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:10, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:15, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.
** Appears in the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:59, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
** This one appears in the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:14, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
** A variant (different translation?) appears in Einstein's ''The World As I See It'', in a section titled &quot;Letter to a Friend of Peace&quot; in the &quot;Politics and Pacifism&quot; part of the book, [http://books.google.com/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA66#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 66 of this edition]. Here the quote is &quot;Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:32, 3 December 2011 (UTC) 
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#The_World_As_I_See_It_.281949.29|The World As I See It]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:37, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
** Attributed to Einstein by a colleague, Léopold Infeld, in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA279#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 279]. The copyright date on the title page says it was originally published in 1941 so I guess it can't go in the the &quot;Posthumous&quot; section...maybe that section's title should be changed to &quot;Posthumous and attributed from memory&quot;? (&quot;from memory&quot; to distinguish from attributed quotes from interviews) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:47, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my lifetime.
** Unsourced, but sometimes dated to &lt;!-- December? --&gt; 1947.
*** Yeah, Dec 1947 in the (FBI's) Ladd(,Mickey)  Report on Einstein.  No source is cited for the quote.  (see The Einstein File: J. Edgar Hoover's Secret War Against the World's Most ... By Fred Jerome pg. 171 )

* '''I love to travel, but hate to arrive.'''
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications|posthumous publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:39, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* I think that only daring speculation can lead us further and not accumulation of facts.
** According to ''Scientifically speaking: a dictionary of quotations, Volume 1'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=FFIBzawsfPEC&amp;lpg=PR1&amp;pg=PA154#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 154], the quote is on p. 487 of ''Correspondance 1903-1955'' by Michele Besso, it appears in a letter Einstein sent to Besso on 8 October 1952. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:50, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]].

* I wish they don't forget to keep those treasures pure which they have in excellence over the west: their artistic building of life, the simplicity and modesty in personal need, and the pureness and calmness of Japanese soul. (referring to the Japanese people.)
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' a slightly different version (different translation probably) appears in the &quot;Japan and the Japanese&quot; section of the &quot;On Miscellaneous Subjects&quot; chapter: &quot;May they not forget to keep pure the great heritage that puts them ahead of the West: the artistic configuration of life, the simplicity and modesty of personal needs, and the purity and serenity of the Japanese soul.&quot; the book says this is from ' ''Kaizo'' 5, no. 1 (January 1923), 339. Einstein ARchive 36-477.1&quot;.  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:00, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:49, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
** ''Alternative version:'' If ''A'' equals success, then the formula is: &lt;math&gt;A = X + Y + Z&lt;/math&gt; ; ''X'' is work, ''Y'' is play, and ''Z'' is keeping your mouth shut.
**Appears, with a source, at the end of the [[Albert_Einstein#1920s|1920s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
** This seems one of the more highly dubious statements attributed to Einstein, but it has become widely attributed to him on the internet without any definite source; it seems that this might be a case of an unknown originator seeking to practice what is preached.
** [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=change-the-facts+%22facts+don%27t+fit%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201959&amp;num=10 Searching for &quot;facts don't fit&quot; and &quot;change the facts&quot; on google books] turns up [http://books.google.com/books?id=7NszAQAAIAAJ this 1958 book] which apparently says on p. 9: 'There is an age-old adage, &quot;If the facts don't fit the theory, change the theory.&quot; But too often it's easier to keep the theory and change the facts.' And [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=facts+fit+%22so+much+the+worse+for+the+facts%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201950&amp;num=10 this search] shows that before that there was a popular variant, used for example by [http://books.google.com/books?id=v3Pb8og_zvMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA228#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Charles Darwin's brother Erasmus], which goes something like &quot;if the facts won't fit, then so much worse for the facts&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 06:56, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
**Added this to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:09, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
**sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:01, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.
** The earliest reference I find is [http://books.google.com/books?ei=NkC4TrS7D8r20gGqncDRBw&amp;ct=result&amp;id=KfQOAQAAMAAJ&amp;dq=einstein+%22doris+gates%22+%22fairy+tales%22&amp;q=einstein+%22doris+gates%22+%22fairy+tales%22#search_anchor The Wilson Library Bulletin, Vol 37] from 1962, which says on p. 678 'And Doris Gates, writer and children's librarian, reports that Albert Einstein told an anxious mother who wanted to help her child become a scientist: &quot;First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!&quot;' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
** Found an earlier source from 1954, and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:28, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* In long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.
**(From an address to the Chicago Decalogue Society, February 20, 1954)
**The attribution someone added above about the Chicago Decalogue Society is correct, the quote appears in a section titled &quot;Human Rights&quot; in his book ''Ideas and Opinions''. Wording is slightly different though: &quot;in long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:33, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:48, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.
** this is a variant of a quote in the [[Albert_Einstein#Essay_to_Leo_Baeck_.281953.29|Essay to Leo Baeck]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:25, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* In the matter of physics, the first lessons should contain nothing but what is experimental and interesting to see. A pretty experiment is in itself often more valuable than twenty formulae extracted from our minds.
**From {{cite book |title=Einstein, Einblicke in seine Gedankenwelt |last=Moszkowski |first=Alexander |publisher=F. Fontane |year=1922 |page=77 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=6zHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA76 |quote=Was die Physik betrifft, fuhr Einstein fort, so darf für den ersten Unterricht gar nichts in Frage kommen, als das Experimentelle, anschaulich-Interessante. Ein hübsches Experiment ist schon an sich oft wertvoller, als zwanzig in der Gedankenretorte entwickelte Formeln.}} As Moszkowski makes clear in the original German text, this &quot;quotation&quot; is a paraphrasing of his conversation with Einstein. The translation into English comes from {{cite book |title=Conversations with Einstein |last=Moszkowski |first=Alexander |isbn=9780818002151 |publisher=Horizon Press |year=1971 |page=67}}
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]

* In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
** This is #3 of the &quot;three rules&quot; that John Wheeler said Einstein's work revolved around, quoted in [[Albert_Einstein#Quotes_about_Einstein|Quotes about Einstein]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:55, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:44, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

* It gives me great pleasure, indeed, to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
** Source: Einstein on peace, 1960 -- reliable source?
**Appears in ''Ideas and Opinions'', at the start of the section &quot;Address on Receiving Lord &amp; Taylor Award&quot;, May 4 1953.
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:48, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* It is almost a miracle that modern teaching methods have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything, besides stimulation, is freedom
** Slightly altered version of a quote from [[Albert_Einstein#.22Autobiographical_Notes.22_.281949.29|Autobiographical Notes]] [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:08, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.
** ''Einstein on Politics'' paraphrases his comment on [http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA334#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 334], and says that he made the comment in a 1944 interview that appeared in the article &quot;Our Goal Unity, but Germans Are Unfit,&quot; ''Free World'' 8 (October 1944), no. 4, 370-371. A snippet from ''Free World'' with the quote can be seen [http://books.google.com/books?id=FxHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22duty+of+every+citizen%22#search_anchor here]--the exact words are &quot;I think that it is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:49, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:57, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:57, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Measured objectively, what a man can wrest from Truth by passionate striving is utterly infinitesimal. But the striving frees us from the bonds of the self and makes us comrades of those who are the best and the greatest.
** Appears in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;q=%22wrest+from+truth%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22wrest%20from%20truth%22&amp;f=false p. 24]. Snippet says this was an etching made by Hermann Struck, it's not clear if he was etching a comment of Einstein's or someone else's, does anyone have this book to check it? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Found the details and added them to [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:37, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
** This one is found in the [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]] section, it's from ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky.

* No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
** Earliest published version I found was ''Symposium on structure of enzymes and proteins'' from 1956, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22so+important+a+biological%22#search_anchor p. 284] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22morgan+what+he+was+doing%22#search_anchor p. 283]: 'I asked Dr. Morgan what he was doing in genetics then and he said, &quot;I am not doing any genetics. I am bored with genetics. But I am going out to Cal Tech where I hope it will be possible to bring physics and chemistry to bear on biology. I think it will be good for biologists to live in that atmosphere.&quot; At that time a protein molecule was not a big black ball. It was something very smeary but equally dark. And de- naturation was a very mysterious phenomenon. Enzymes were almost as mysterious as they were at the time of the Pasteur-Liebig controversy. We could measure pTL and a few things like that and that was about all. There was some resentment, I think, among some biologists that their students, the younger people, were even using pH meters. In fact, a lot of fun was made about the dominance of pH over biology. Shortly after Dr. Morgan came to Cal Tech (and I came a year after he did), Einstein was visiting our place. He came around to biology, and talking to Dr. Morgan asked him what he was trying to do there, said it was a strange thing for a biologist to be at an Institute of Technology. Dr. Morgan told him what he had told me. Einstein shook his head and said, '''&quot;No, this trick won't work. The same trick does not work twice. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?&quot;'''' All this is apparently from a piece that begins on p. 283 by Henry Borsook, and is titled 'Informal remarks &quot;by way of a summary&quot;', as seen in the table of contents [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=283#search_anchor here], and searching inside for &quot;Henry Borsook&quot; shows that his name does appear at the top of [http://books.google.com/books?id=H4QjXb4gnEIC&amp;q=%22henry+borsook%22#search_anchor p. 283]. Anyway, it seems as though these are Borsook's personal recollections of what happened at the lab (Borsook is also given as the source in ''The Molecular Vision of Life'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=vEHeNI2a8OEC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA95#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 95]), so it could go in the &quot;posthumous&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 08:23, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:09, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.
**It's in his &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=th3Cpu_QYVQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA346#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page]...added it to the &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:59, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* One strength of the communist system of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion.
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:10, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* One thing I have learned in a long life: All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike — and yet it is the most precious thing we have.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:02, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:30, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem — in my opinion — to characterize our age.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s|1940s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:07, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
**** Comment: This is usually a history about a funeral, Einstein is quoted as telling it to the widow.
**** I think this is just a misquote of the March 1955 quote (in the [[Albert Einstein#1950s|1950s section]]): &quot;Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.&quot; 

* '''Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.'''
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Viereck_interview_.281929.29|Viereck interview]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:35, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* Still, there are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments, one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable: life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only being.
** This was listed as &quot;possibly or probably by Einstein&quot; in Alice Calaprice's ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein''--it looks like it appears on [http://books.google.com/books?id=Tr9ZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22imagines+that+one+stands%22#search_anchor p. 282] of ''Einstein on Peace'', but the snippet doesn't reveal anything about when/where he said it, I'll have to find a copy of that book before adding it to the article. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:49, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Sourced and added to [[Albert Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:54, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

* Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
** Probably a misquote of &quot;Our entire much-praised technological progress, and civilization generally, could be compared to an axe in the hand of a pathological criminal.&quot; This one is said to be from a 1917 letter to his friend H. Zangger, in ''A Sense of the Mysterious: Science and the Human Spirit'' by Alan Lightman ([http://books.google.com/books?id=-yo_gVxMs6MC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA110#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 110]) and ''Albert Einstein: A Biography'' by Albrecht Fölsing, ([http://books.google.com/books?id=Kmm0foYfvQAC&amp;q=%22compared+to+an+axe%22#search_anchor p. 399]). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:41, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1910s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:39, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility… The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle. -- Einstein, “Physics and Reality,” Journal of the Franklin Institute, March 1936 &lt;!-- unsourced? --&gt;
** added to [[Albert Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:05, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:36, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
** This gets [http://www.google.com/search?q=%22the+intuitive+mind+is+a+sacred+gift%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=N&amp;tab=sw almost 500k] hits on google, but as far as I can tell, none has a source. I tried amazon's lookinside and online repositories of his writings.
** Doing a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=%22sacred+gift%22+einstein google book search] and restricting the date range to 1900-1990, there are only 10 books and several of them attribute it to &quot;Samples, 1976&quot; which is apparently [http://books.google.com/books?id=z2F9AAAAMAAJ ''The Metaphoric Mind'' by Bob Samples] (which also seems to be the earliest published variant). If you go to that book's google page and enter &quot;sacred gift&quot; into the &quot;From inside the book&quot; box you get [http://books.google.com/books?id=z2F9AAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22sacred+gift%22#search_anchor snippets of two sections that attribute it to Einstein], but as a paraphrase rather than a direct quote, with no source given, and the author seems to be adding his own comment when he writes &quot;It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine&quot; so even if the first part is accurate, this part is probably not Einstein's. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 02:50, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
** Einstein had many quotes about the value of intuition and imagination, but the specific word &quot;gift&quot; can be found in a comment remembered by János Plesch in the section [[Albert_Einstein#Posthumous_publications]], &quot;When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.&quot; So, Bob Samples might have been paraphrasing that comment. Likewise Einstein had a number of quotes about the intellect being secondary to intuition, but the language of the intellect &quot;serving&quot; can be found in a quote from [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29]], &quot;And certainly we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve; and it is not fastidious in its choice of a leader.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:59, 8 November 2011 (UTC)

* The mass of a body is a measure of its energy content.
**sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1900s|1900s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:28, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.
** Appears in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;q=%22striving+for+morality%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22striving%20for%20morality%22&amp;f=false p. 95]. The snippet says it was from something Einstein sent on 20 November 1950--can someone check the book to see who it was sent to? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:09, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** Found the details and added it to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:59, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.
** Variant: &quot;Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe.&quot;
** There's a good discussion of the history of claims of similar quotes about compound interest at [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/10/31/compound-interest/ The Quote Investigator]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:12, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
**The variant version appears in [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]

* The only real valuable thing is intuition. The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery.
**Appears to be a composite of &quot;The really valuable thing is intuition&quot; which I added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]] section, and the quote &quot;&quot;The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you do not know how or why. All great discoveries are made in this way&quot;, which is an unsourced variant of a Life Magazine quote from a 1954 interview that I added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29]] section. Putting the phrase &quot;valuable thing is intuition. The intellect has little&quot; into google books turns up only one book from 2009 that uses it, although if you put it into google there are plenty of pages that do, including some from before 2009 like [http://codylds.wordpress.com/2007/10/01/other-quotes/ this blog entry from 2007], so it likely originated on the internet. This might actually be a case where wikiquote itself is the source of this erroneous quote, as I haven't found any internet sources from before 2005 that put them together this way, and its origin on wikiquote is [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;action=historysubmit&amp;diff=33439&amp;oldid=33408 this 9 January 2005 edit]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:45, 9 November 2011 (UTC)
***Found an earlier example of someone putting the two quotes together like this is in [http://groups.google.com/group/sci.physics/msg/5a29629583ae8a77 this usenet post from 14 Sep 1996]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:41, 18 July 2012 (UTC)

* The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist. I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.
** This is from a diary kept by his companion Johanna Fantova, it appears at the end of [http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/24/nyregion/from-companion-s-lost-diary-a-portrait-of-einstein-in-old-age.html this New York Times story] about the diary. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:29, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:46, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The pioneers of a warless world are the youth who refuse military service.
** Looks to be a paraphrase of a quote from ''Einstein on Peace'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=Tr9ZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22pioneers+of+a+warless+world%22#search_anchor p. 142]: &quot;Today, in twelve countries, young men are resisting conscription and refusing military service. They are the pioneers of a warless world.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:32, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:31, 4 December 2011 (UTC)

* The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Albert_Einstein:_The_Human_Side_.281979.29|Albert Einstein: The Human Side]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:02, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
**Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:39, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* The release of atomic power has changed everything except our way of thinking. -- Einstein, fundraising telegram for the Emergency Committee of Atomic Scientists, May 23, 1946, Einstein Archives, 40-11.  
** Seems to be a variant of a quote in [[Albert_Einstein#1940s]], but with the wording slightly incorrect.

* The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
** Einstein was actually quoting [[Gotthold Ephraim Lessing]] here--added to [[Albert Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:54, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
** On a google book search the [http://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=einstein+%22hide+your+sources%22&amp;tbs=,cdr:1,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%202001&amp;num=10 earliest ones] using the phrase &quot;hide your sources&quot; along with &quot;Einstein&quot; are from 2000, but searching google groups shows it's been circulating on the internet for a while before that, [http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sys.dec.micro/msg/393485046e9a3889?hl=en here's a usenet post from 1989] that uses it. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 21:18, 7 November 2011 (UTC)
** This one is already in [[Albert_Einstein#Disputed]]

* The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. ([[w:1945|1945]])
** On the problems presented by nuclear weapons. Variant: ... If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
** The second sentence about becoming a watchmaker is discussed in [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. Searching on google books for &quot;Einstein&quot; and &quot;heart of mankind&quot;, all of them seem to pair it with the watchmaker quote without giving a source, so not very trustworthy (earliest source I find is Alan Moore's 1987 graphic novel ''Watchmen'', which at the end of Chapter IV—originally published as a single issue on Dec. 1 1986 according to [http://www.comicvine.com/watchmen/49-3622/ this page]—has the quote &quot;The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking ... The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker&quot;). It's possible the &quot;heart of mankind&quot; sentence could be a paraphrase of the following quote from ''Einstein and the Poet'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA92#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 92]: &quot;I agree with you, intellect has never saved the world. If we want to improve the world we cannot do it with scientific knowledge but with ideals ... We must begin with the heart of man—with his conscience—and the values of conscience can only be manifested by selfless service to mankind.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:31, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
** The &quot;heart of mankind&quot; part could also be inspired by a line from the interview with Michael Amrine [http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm here]: &quot;Science has brought forth this danger, but the real problem is in the minds and hearts of men. We will not change the hearts or other men by mechanism, but by changing our hearts and speaking bravely.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:56, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added the Alan Moore variant to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:35, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

* The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
** sourced in the [[Albert_Einstein#1940s|1940s]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 22:42, 7 November 2011 (UTC)

* The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.
**Variant translation of a quote from &quot;Physics and Reality&quot; that appears in [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:46, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* There remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion.
** Already appears in [[Albert_Einstein#1920s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:39, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live. 
** Attributed to &quot;Albert Einstein: theoretical physicist&quot; Forsee page 81. seems strange and unreliable though [[User:Yochaim|Yochaim]] 05:47, 16 August 2011 (UTC)
**This might be a case of a quote written about Einstein's ideas being mistaken for an actual quote from einstein...earliest relativity-related example I could find of &quot;modes by which we think&quot; on google books is from the 1944 book ''Einstein: An Intimate Study of a Great Man'' by Dimitri Marianoff and Palma Wayne, if you do a search &quot;from inside the book&quot; [http://books.google.com/books?id=RiXPAAAAMAAJ here] for the phrase &quot;modes by which we think&quot;, you get a snippet from p. 62 that says: &lt;blockquote&gt;But Einstein came along and took space and time out of the realm of stationary things and put them in the realm of relativity—giving the onlooker dominion over time and space, because time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.&lt;/blockquote&gt;
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#Misattributed]]

* Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
** [http://www.google.com/search?q=einstein+%22dollar+chasers%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1 This search] shows few published examples with the earliest being from 2004, but it was circulating on the internet a while before that, see [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/39c9638fff30d2ff?hl=en this post from 1993] for example.  I actually emailed the author of that post and he said he thought he had gotten it from the [[Albert_Einstein#Viereck_interview_.281929.29|1929 Viereck interview]] which he had photocopied from a library in 1989, Viereck's interview apparently hasn't been published in its entirety in any book so it could well be from there. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:39, 30 November 2011 (UTC)
**Found it in online copy of 1929 Viereck interview, put it in that section of the article. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 04:14, 4 April 2012 (UTC)

* Truth is what stands the test of experience.
** sourced and added to the [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:37, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

* Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. 
** Appears at the very end of the [[Albert_Einstein#Einstein_and_the_Poet_.281983.29|Einstein and the Poet]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:09, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
** Variants: Only two things are infinite, the universe and the stupidity of mankind, and I'm not sure about the former. &lt;br /&gt; Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
** Earliest references on google books seem to be two 1969 books by [[w:Fritz Perls|Frederick S. Perls]], the founder of gestalt therapy. In one, ''Gestalt Therapy Verbatim'', he claims to have heard it from Einstein, writing 'As Albert Einstein once said to me: &quot;Two things are infinite: the universe and the human stupidity.&quot;' In another book, &quot;Ego, Hunger, and Aggression: the Beginning of Gestalt Therapy&quot; he attributes it to &quot;a great astronomer&quot; and then refers to Einstein separately in the next sentence: 'it is not surprising to learn that a great astronomer said: &quot;Two things are infinite, as far as we know — the universe and human stupidity.&quot; To-day we know that this statement is not quite correct. Einstein has proved that the universe is limited.' So it's not clear whether in this second quote he's implying that Einstein was the astronomer who said the first thing but then later revised his opinion about the size of the universe (an idea Einstein was suggesting at least as far back as 1920, see [http://www.bartleby.com/173/31.html here], though he never actually &quot;proved&quot; it, or if in this quote he's imagining the astronomer as a separate person, and the two quotes are just inconsistent (whether because he wanted to attribute the quote to someone important-sounding, or because he just remembered it differently in the two books). Also, it says [[w:Fritz Perls#Life|here]] that ''Ego, Hunger, and Aggression'' was originally published in 1942, though the version on google books is from 1969, so it might be a later edition and I don't know if the quote about the astronomer and human stupidity was in the original or if it was added in a later revision (&quot;The Quote Investigator&quot; seems to say [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/universe-einstein/#more-173 here] that it was in a 1940s version, I guess either 1942 or the second edition in 1947). Anyway, seems pretty dubious to me. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 04:18, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
** Also, it may be unrelated, but in the 1920 book &quot;My Second Country&quot; by Robert Dell, on [http://books.google.com/books?id=iXpHAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA276#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false page 276] I found a somewhat similar quote: &quot;Renan said that the only thing that gave him any conception of infinity was human stupidity&quot;. And if you search google books for keywords &quot;Renan&quot;, &quot;infinity&quot;, and &quot;stupidity&quot; you find others, including [http://books.google.com/books?id=cTPmAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=renan%20infinity%20stupidity&amp;pg=PA1126#v=onepage&amp;q=renan%20infinity%20stupidity&amp;f=false this one from 1915] which is even closer to the one Perls attributes to &quot;a great astronomer&quot;--in this case, the quote is &quot;He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity.&quot; [[w:Ernest Renan|Ernest Renan]] was not an astronomer, but he was a philosopher who apparently had an interest in the idea of an infinite universe, see [http://books.google.com/books?id=N04oAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA204#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 204 of 'Life of Ernest Renan'] from 1895 (search google books for &quot;Ernest Renan infinity&quot; for more). According to [http://www.evene.fr/citations/mot.php?mot=betise this page] the original French version was &quot;La bêtise humaine est la seule chose qui donne une idée de l'infini&quot; and it comes from [http://www.archive.org/details/dialoguesetfrag02renagoog &quot;Dialogues et fragments philosophiques&quot;], though when I searched the text for the word &quot;humaine&quot; I couldn't find the quote there. I suppose it's possible the quote was misattributed to Renan before it was misattributed to Einstein; searching google books for &quot;bêtise humaine&quot; and &quot;l'infini&quot;, some attribute it to Voltaire...and [http://books.google.com/books?id=9NEaAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA465#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this 1904 book] gives a different version on p. 465, &quot;Ce n'est pas l'immensité de la vôute étoilée qui peut donner le plus complétement l'ideé de l'infini, mais bien la bêtise humaine!&quot; which translates roughly to &quot;it is not the starry sky that can give the most complete idea of the infinite, but human stupidity!&quot; which sounds a lot like the Einstein quote and is from before Einstein was famous...[http://books.google.com/books?id=lBUbAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA19#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this 1903 book] also gives the same quote at the bottom of p. 19. Meanwhile the book &quot;Des vers&quot; by Guy de Maupassant, which says on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP9#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 9] that it's from 1880, also has a quote from a letter by Gustav Flaubert on [http://books.google.com/books?id=cQUvAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PP21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 21], &quot;Cependant, qui sait? La terre a des limites, mais la bêtise humaine est infinie!&quot; which translates to &quot;But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!&quot; It may just be an old cliché rather than something Flaubert invented, [http://books.google.com/books?id=n9cOAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA273#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page] which is also dated 1880 but is from a different author says something similar (&quot;Aujourd'hui je sais qu'il n'y a pas de limites à la bêtise humaine, qu'elle est infinie&quot; or &quot;today I know that there is no limit to human stupidity, it is infinite&quot;). Anyway, regardless of whether Renan said a quote like this, do you folks think this is enough to put it in the &quot;misattributed&quot; section, or at least &quot;disputed&quot;? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 07:43, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
**: This manner of speaking strikes me as very uncharacteristic of Einstein, but it might be included in the Misattributed section if it is widely attributed in sources that might reasonably be considered reliable. I am not enthusiastic about listing everything that circulates on the web or mostly appears in unreliable sources, particularly for someone like Einstein to whom practically everything has been attributed sometime by somebody. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 13:29, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
***: In the &quot;sourced&quot; section I agree we should only put quotes with good sources (either Einstein's own writings/speeches or someone who knew him personally). But when there's specific evidence that a given quote is misattributed, I think it's good to add it to the &quot;disputed&quot; or &quot;misattributed&quot; sections, so it can be &quot;debunked&quot; for people looking for it. The problem in this case is that it's a little ambiguous, both in terms of whether Perls' two mentions of this quote are inconsistent with each other (in the earlier one it does sound like the &quot;great astronomer&quot; is separate from Einstein, but it's not totally clear), and in terms of whether the similar quote attributed to Ernest Renan earlier (&quot;it is not the starry sky that can give the most complete idea of the infinite, but human stupidity!&quot;) can be considered an &quot;earlier version&quot; of the quote attributed to Einstein even though they aren't exactly the same. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:52, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert Einstein#Disputed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:23, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
** &quot;written to a friend&quot;, according to http://books.google.com/books?id=Zg2bYwogl2IC&amp;pg=PA4&amp;dq=Unthinking+respect+for+authority+is+the+greatest+enemy+of+truth.&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=8vU-TpnFJcXx0gH3x8DDAw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=3&amp;ved=0CDMQ6AEwAjgK#v=onepage&amp;q=Unthinking%20respect%20for%20authority%20is%20the%20greatest%20enemy%20of%20truth.&amp;f=false
*** from the bottom of page 78 to the top of p. 79, there's a little more detail on the context in ''The Private Lives of Albert Einstein'', see [http://books.google.com/books?id=zY7FE9ZyDO0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA79#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false here]: &quot;To Jost Winteler he wrote that he would 'make it hot' for Drude by publishing his criticisms in a skilfully humiliating article. 'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth,' he declared.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:45, 8 August 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert_Einstein#1900s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:36, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

* We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve
** variant: We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. 
:{{done}}.  Sourced and added to main article. Exist in Out of my later life, 1995 edition p.261. Verifiable by look inside on Amazon.

* Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1930s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:57, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* What does a fish know about the water in which it swims all its life?
** Memoirs?
** Sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Out_of_My_Later_Years_.281950.29|Out of My Later Years]]. Not clear if the saying about the fish (which I've heard before in other contexts) was originated by Einstein or if he was just repeating a saying that was already common in his time. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:03, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

* What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.
:{{done}}. I cited and added a fuller version of this, with original German, to the article. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 16:46, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

* Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
**Someone has already sourced this, it appears in the [[Albert Einstein#Essay to Leo Baeck .281953.29|Essay to Leo Baeck]] section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 14:38, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#1950s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:47, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

* Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
** sourced and added to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 05:52, 9 November 2011 (UTC)

* You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
** Appears in ''Einstein on Peace'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=zyMQAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22You+cannot+simultaneously+prevent+and+prepare+for+war%22#search_anchor p. 397]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:00, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
** Added to [[Albert Einstein#1940s]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 03:55, 13 December 2011 (UTC)


* You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
** Probably bogus; a search on Google Books for &quot;no cat&quot; and the name Einstein turns up no reference to the anecdote prior to he Jonathan Lear's 1988 &quot;Aristotle: the desire to understand&quot;, which refers to it as &quot;perhaps apocryphal&quot;. [[User:Abb3w|Abb3w]] 15:27, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
** Doing a [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=telegraph+cat+pull+tail advanced google book search with words &quot;telegraph&quot;, &quot;cat&quot;, &quot;pull&quot; and &quot;tail&quot;], and restricting the date range from 1800-1988, I find the first result is [http://books.google.com/books?id=8g0OAQAAIAAJ Real People: Thomas Alva Edison], a book from 1950. Based on that clue I tried [http://books.google.com/advanced_book_search?q=telegraph+cat+pull+tail+edison adding &quot;edison&quot; to the search terms] and using the same date range, a few books tell a story about Edison where he was given the same type of explanation, except with a dog in place of a cat, and Edinburgh in place of New York and London in place of Los Angeles (see [http://books.google.com/books?id=hh7iAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA188#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this book], for example). Turns out Edison actually wrote down this story in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=NXtEAAAAIAAJ The Diary and Sundry Observations of Thomas Alva Edison]'', p. 216 (you can type &quot;edinburgh&quot; into the &quot;from inside the book&quot; search box to find it).  His anecdote was &quot;When I was a little boy, persistently trying to find out how the telegraph worked and why, the best explanation I ever got was from an old Scotch line repairer who said that if you had a dog like a dachshund long enough to reach from Edinburgh to London, if you pulled his tail in Edinburgh he would bark in London. I could understand that. But it was hard to get at what it was that went through the dog or over the wire.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 10:45, 9 November 2011 (UTC)
**Added to [[Albert Einstein#Misattributed]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:49, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

== Quote meanings ==

I removed some meanings from quotes where it seemed the meaning was superfluous or detracted from the quote.  Feel free to discuss here if you feel some should be added back. [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 03:08 3 Aug 2003 (UTC)

== &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; a quote? ==

What year did he say his quotes???!!!
Since when is &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; a quote? Are we going to start keeping formulas in Wikiquote? [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 21:01, 18 Aug 2003 (UTC)

It isn't a quote so should not be included. -fonzy

&quot;Bartlett's Familiar Quotation's&quot; includes it, in the editions that I own. —[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

I would replace it with Einstein's wording of the equation taken from a recording of him- that would then be a quote.

: That raises a more generic question - how much stock should we place on what other lists of quotations do, even ones as famous as Bartlett's? [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]] 00:22, 7 Sep 2003 (UTC)

::It's not even Einstein, but Olinto de Pretto.

Einstien can be quoted as saying &quot;E=mc&amp;sup2;&quot; ... [http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/sound/voice1.mp3 E=mc&amp;sup2.mp3] ... you can transcribe it if you want ... It should be included. [[User:Reddi|Reddi]]  [I got it transcribed [[User:Reddi|Reddi]] 15:11, 3 Nov 2003 (UTC) ]

: Therefore, all published equations must be wikiquoted. (jlinkous05, May 8 2012, 7:30am UTC)

As he is, indeed, the first one who said it, and as almost everyone on the planet is familiar with it, and not any other physics formulae (some would not even recognize the simple F = ma out of context) I say give it a pass, and let it stay. If only because it is iconic, and defines a huge portion of his body of work in 4 characters. (dpw, 5 Mar 2018)

: He is not the first one to say it. E=mc&amp;sup2; is hinduism and &quot;brahman is the universe&quot;, and really the pantheism of spinoza. About as scientific as ganesh and rig veda. Early newspapers probably expect a nut, and he was it.

As you might expect, the first reference isn't quite in the form that we now know it.  The first reference comes from a paper titled &quot;Ist die Trägheit eines Körpers von seinem Energieinhalt abhängig?&quot; (&quot;Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?&quot;), and it first shows up not as an equation, but a statemtn in the text (p. 228): &quot;if a body releases the energy L in the form of radiation, its mass diminishes by L/V^2&quot; (translated from the original German).

== Mathematician? ==

&quot;Mathematician&quot;? to what theorems did he contribute? &quot;Mathematical or theoretical physicist&quot;, certainly; but I question &quot;Mathematician&quot; (ditto the main article).

: &quot;''Mathematician''&quot;? Yep ... Einstein was well versed in mathematics.
: ''To what theorems did he contribute''?  You don't have to contribute to a theorem to be a Mathematician. 
: He was also a theoretical physicist and experimental physicist (he got his nobel for the later not the prior)
: Sincerely [[User:Reddi|Reddi]]

== Relativity-girl-stove ==

Can someone elaborate on why the quote on relativity-girl-stove got changed again?  I assume that ''Scientific American'' would be a reliable source, no?  If the current version comes from an even better source, can someone tell me what it is?

:I e-mailed the person who made the changes, and he said he got his version from the Internet.  I'm more inclined to believe that SciAm is a more reliable source than the Internet.  Therefore, I've changed it back, and also took the liberty to move the quote to the verified section.

== Mathematician redux ==

Regarding the bit about Einstein being a Mathematician, being well versed in
Mathematics does ''not'' make one a mathematician.  Furthermore, the term
''well-versed'' is subjective at best.  While many laypeople would consider
most physicists to be well-versed in mathematics, we mathematicians generally
would only consider a mathematician to be someone who publishes work on
(usually) abstract mathmatics.  Note publishes, note abstract.  A paper on
physics, or chemistry, or, hell, island biogeography may contain a substantial
amount of math.  But in this context it is being used as a tool to model the
real world; mathematicians study math for its own sake.  Mathematicians with
a predominant interest in the mathematics of physics are generally called
&quot;mathematical physicists&quot;.  Einstein, as much as we all love him, was not
either of these things.  His primary interest was physics, and his published
papers were also on physics.  There is no evidence that he even tinkered in
Math for its own sake.  Heck, the math in his papers wasn't even much more
advanced than linear algebra, PDEs and tensor algebra, all things that I
studied as an undergrad, and none of them new mathematically -- he relied
heavily on Reimannian geometry and Differential topology concepts, none of
them new when his paper was published, and certainly none authored by him.

As you probably are neither a physicist nor a mathematician, let me let you
know: there is a certain about of (friendly) rivalry between the two
disciplines, and mathematicians and physicists both often resent being misappropriated.  Einstein was a physicist, and a good one, but he was not
a mathematician.


I agree with you on that view. It could possibly be argued, however, that he is an applied mathematician -- because he took mathematics and applied it to create a new type of science. His primary activity was Physics, however, and that is how he ought to be described. Because of the public's perception of physicists as mathematicians the laity would name the likes of Einstein as their mathematicians rather than Godel, Cantor, Ramanujan, Gauss or GH Hardy. Despite the use of advanced mathematics in physics, mathematicians and physicists are very different beasts altogether. Physics is a science in the strictest sense. Its primary methodology is the Scientific Method. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematical_beauty Mathematics on the other hand is an art form]. And it abhors the Scientific Method. -- xsistor

== Accuracy of quote ==

The sentence that reads:
&lt;blockquote&gt;The equivalency of matter and energy was originally expressed in the equation m = L/c², which with trivial changes became the far more well known E = mc².&lt;/blockquote&gt;
Since this is mathematically inaccurate, I suspect he didn't say it, rather he likely said
&lt;blockquote&gt;Δm = L/c²&lt;/blockquote&gt;

== Organizing these... ==

These quotes are pretty disorganized right now. I will probably try to add a few, organizing the sourced ones chronologically, and the attributed alphapbetically tonight or tomorrow. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 21:41, 29 Nov 2004 (UTC)

== Mathematician ==

He was a physicist, not a mathematician. No mathematicians consider him one, no physicists consider him one, no historians consider him one. Smart guy, good at math, not a &quot;mathematician,&quot; which is a specific discipline separate from theoretical physics. Some people were both. Einstein was not. This is nothing negative. See [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Albert_Einstein#Einstein.2C_a_.22mathematician.22.3F].

== Rule of the dumb ==

Is there an english version of &quot;''Die Herrschaft der Dummen ist unüberwindlich, weil es so viele sind und ihre Stimmen genauso zählen wie unsere''&quot;? Loosely translated: &quot;The ruling of the dumb people can't be overcome because there are so many of them, and their voice counts as much as ours&quot;. Thanks [[w:User:Chris 73]] 10:57, 15 Jan 2005 (UTC)

:This appears translated in ''Ideas and Opinions'' in the section &quot;Aphorisms for Leo Baeck&quot;: &quot;The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 00:20, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

-I would translate Stimmen as ''votes'' here, not ''voice''.

== The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. ==

does anyone know if this is truly a quote by Einstein or if it is in fact by Hans Selye like here http://scienceweek.com/2001/sw010316.htm. I heard it was misatributed to einstein possibly due to it being an unatributed quote in The world as I see it http://lib.ru/FILOSOF/EJNSHTEJN/theworld_engl.txt wish i could remember the book i read that in. Thought it might have been in life in the cosmos but couldn't find it. 

--- Here it is: &quot;The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man.&quot; -- Einstein, “What I Believe,” originally written in 1930 and recorded for the German League for Human Rights. It was published as “The World as I See It” in Forum and Century, 1930; in Living Philosphies (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1931); in The World As I See It, 1-5; in Ideas and Opinions, 8-11. The versions are all translated somewhat differently and have slight revisions.[[User:WalterIsaacson|WalterIsaacson]]

== removing a recent addition ==

I doubt the authenticity of many &quot;quotations&quot; of Einstein that are often provided without a source, including several on the article page, but some of these have circulated for years. I am removing one from the page that seems to be of very recent creation, and almost certainly spurious, : 


&lt;blockquote&gt;
: ''In the view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognize, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for supporting such views.'' (p.97)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/069110297X &lt;p&gt;
'''Einstein and Religion: Physics and Theology''' (Paperback)&lt;p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;isbn - 069110297X
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;p&gt;

I can find no evidence that this &quot;quotation&quot; existed anywhere on the web, nor anywhere in the entire world, prior to its posting here on 23 April 2005. At present the only other hits that I encounter in a Google search are of a very few sites, where the material of the entire page has plainly been ''derived'' from that of Wikiquote. I am strongly inclined to believe that this is simply a made-up statement by someone who does not much knowledge of the complex opinions of Einstein, nor much of an attachment to the ideals of rigorous veracity which he greatly exhibited.

Over the years I have read ''many'' of Einstein's own writings, much about him, and have encountered numerous quotations of Einstein that make plain his general embrace of both the importance of  a &quot;cosmic religious feeling&quot; and a rejection of most existing notions and conventional doctrines of a ''personal'' &quot;God&quot;, including explicit statements that endorse some of the concepts of [[Spinoza]].

I feel this project should permit many quotations without a source in the &quot;attributed&quot; sections of articles, yet, those which are of such content as stands contrary to known and sourced quotations, should be investigated, and not be too readily retained, ''especially'' if there is no evidence of them ever having been cited elsewhere, prior to their posting here. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 10:37, 9 Jun 2005 (UTC)

What is the sense in highlighting some of the quotes? Just because some of the editors here perceive them to be important does not mean that Einstien also agrees with the subjective judgement implied.
When something is emphasised it implies that it is the origional authors emphasis and does not represent the full picture of what einstien himself had to say by making the unemphasised quotes seem trivial.

:Einstein didn't say ''quotes'' even -- he usually talked, or wrote, at length. The very act of quoting is deciding some part is more meaningful than others. Bolding partial quotes means that the bold part is more meaningful than the rest, which was mostly left for context. Usually it's because the bold part is famous in general. ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 09:28, 10 August 2005 (UTC)

*I added the above discussed quote with its original source.  I don't see how Achilles would have trouble finding it pre 23 April 2005 as it is cited in many locations previous,was first said to Prince Hubertus zu Lowenstein in 1941, and published in Lowenstein's book in 1968. Here's the quote with its source:

In view of such harmony in the cosmos which I, with my limited human mind, am able to recognize, there are yet people who say there is no God. But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views. 
Said to German anti-Nazi diplomat and author Hubertus zu Lowenstein around 1941. Quoted in his book, Towards the Further Shore, London, 1968, 156. 

Although Einstein said he would be considered an atheist &quot;from the point of view of a Jesuit priest&quot;, he repeatedly denied being one in fact.  A Jesuit would consider anyone an atheist who did not believe in the personal anthropomorphic deity of Christianity.  This personal deity is only one part of the spectrum of religious/spiritual beliefs.  Einstein's fits on the other end, where rests the &quot;transcendent&quot; deity completely unconcerned with human affairs.

== German, Swiss or US Citizen? ==

The nationality is not the passport you have. It is rather the place you were born or the place you choose to live. Einstein left Switzerland for good when he decided to recover his German citizenship. He explicitely renounced his German citizenship when got political asylum in the US.
I think that in the case of Einstein, it is more correct to say the he was a German born, US citizen (Not American, please!!).
[[User:Pedron|Pedron]] 20:03, 12 August 2005 (UTC)

: I love that everyone wants to claim him.  But a German-born U.S. citizen is the kid of a U.S. citizen born in Germany.  Einstein was a citizen of Germany, Switzerland, and the U.S.  And yet, he was neither Swiss nor American.  How about calling him a German-born Jew, who was for a time a Swiss citizen, and then became a U.S. citizen in his later years (1940).[[Special:Contributions/99.60.230.175|99.60.230.175]]

== Good source for sourced Einstein quotations ==

Check out [http://www.pupress.princeton.edu/chapters/s6908.html The Expanded Quotable Einstein] by Princeton University Press. The web page has sourced quotes from Chapter 1. --[[User:Nickg|Nickg]] 23:57, 16 August 2005 (UTC)

This is true, I would only expand it to say that he did retain his Swiss citizenship throughout his lifetime. [[User:68.64.213.150|68.64.213.150]] 03:31, 27 August 2005 (UTC)

== Removal of one unlikely &quot;quote&quot; ==

In adding an attributed quote, I alphabetized some recent entries, sourced one, ignored many that are likely spurious (though widely attributed), but deleted this one which had been added in a revision of 14 July 2005 by  203.197.169.20:

:: '''My thinking about God is 'the superintelligent field prevalent in cosmos from where sub-atomic particle gets created and annihilated'. Imagine before such a strong force existence of humans is nothing.'''

It is ungrammatical and unlikely to be a competent translation, if it is based upon any statement he actually made, but there is no evidence of this being attributed to Einstein outside of Wikiquote, and two other sites with pages derived from ours. ~ [[User:Achilles|Achilles]] 14:39, 22 October 2005 (UTC)

== E=MC2 is not exact ==

{ I don't know whats going on but Einstein E=MC2 is not exact; one must consider the energy that each object absorbs and displays as resonancy, then rotational velocity and angle of impact | Sorry My name is Albert Allen Redditt (I was doing ROOTS geneology research and found out Reddit's were Reddi's in Scotland in 1200's but came from Reddi line from Rome or India prior to scotland?? nice to know we are working on similar things!})
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikipedia:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:71.102.254.114|71.102.254.114]] ([[User talk:71.102.254.114|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/71.102.254.114|contribs]]) 23:26, 15 March 2006  (UTC{{{3|}}})&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt;

I am kapil &amp; a student . e=mc2 is not correct as one must also consider the energy absorbed by the matter present all around the substance producing energy. I think this subject needs a lot more study.
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:122.168.42.249|122.168.42.249]] ([[User talk:122.168.42.249|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/122.168.42.249|contribs]]) 09:36, 11 April 2007  (UTC{{{3|}}})&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

: Folks, it doesn't matter if e = MC Hammer. To the extent that &quot;e = mc&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;&quot; can be considered a quote, it is arguably the most famous &quot;quote&quot; of Einstein's, which makes it worth including here. Note also that the associated item is also an Einstein quote. It's not meant to be the last word on the subject, only a couple of Einsteinian quotes. The equation's accuracy and limitations are not relevant for their inclusion in a quote compendium. Such issues should be analyzed (with proper sources, of course) in the relevant Wikipedia articles. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 10:08, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

::Anyway, the more exact form is &lt;math&gt;E = \frac{mc^2}{\sqrt{1-\frac{v^2}{c^2}}}&lt;/math&gt;[[Special:Contributions/65.96.201.130|65.96.201.130]] 23:56, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

:::Just noticed this. Actually the best and most correct form is E = m&lt;sub&gt;&lt;small&gt;0&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;, &lt;s&gt;I cant get it to do the subscript but m-zero&lt;/s&gt; m&lt;sub&gt;&lt;small&gt;0&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/sub&gt; is the reference frame. Using the full Lorentz version is identical, but only if you specify that v = 0.  :)

:::(A slightly alternative terminology thats a little more computer friendly is E = Mzero * Cvac ^2 )   - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 08:08, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

:::: What matters for Wikiquote's purposes is not what it means or whether readers understand it. (Einstein's use of subscripts was different from what is currently conventional, and varied over time in different contexts, but this can be read correctly either as a statement of total energy (E&lt;sub&gt;T&lt;/sub&gt;) in terms of relativistic mass (m) or as a statement of mass energy (E&lt;sub&gt;M&lt;/sub&gt;) in terms of rest mass (m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;), where total energy is the sum of mass energy and kinetic energy (E&lt;sub&gt;T&lt;/sub&gt;=E&lt;sub&gt;M&lt;/sub&gt;+E&lt;sub&gt;K&lt;/sub&gt;).&lt;!-- What is remarkable is not just that mass at rest possesses energy but that, in terms of relativistic mass, the symmetry of mass and energy collapses the two energy terms into one. --&gt;) What matters here is only that ''Einstein famously said it''. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 18:07, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

::::: I agree with Ninguable, but in any case Lucien86 is incorrect. The symbol m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; is used to represent [[w:Invariant mass|rest mass]] rather than [[w:Mass in special relativity#Relativistic mass|relativistic mass]], and if you don't restrict the equation to the reference frame where the mass is at rest, the full equation should be &lt;math&gt;E^2 = {m_0}^2 c^4 + p^2 c^2&lt;/math&gt;, where p is the relativistic momentum given by &lt;math&gt;p = \frac{m_0 c^2}{\sqrt{1 - v^2/c^2}}&lt;/math&gt;, v being the velocity of the mass in whatever frame you're using. In contrast, if you use the relativistic mass m&lt;sub&gt;r&lt;/sub&gt; (equal to &lt;math&gt;\frac{m_0}{\sqrt{1 - v^2/c^2}}&lt;/math&gt;), then the equation E=m&lt;sub&gt;r&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; works in all frames, although I don't think Einstein was actually using the concept of relativistic mass (nor do most modern physicists) but was just writing the equation in the object's rest frame. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 18:52, 31 August 2011 (UTC)
:::Except that I never mentioned relativistic mass. I was merely pointing out that the correct form was to use m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; the mass in the rest frame. I merely hadn't bothered to lookup the tag to subscript the zero. Anyway the rest frame is identical to the Lorenz expansion with the velocity v set to zero , which is all I said. You might understand GR but maybe you should learn to read a bit more carefully. :) [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 14:24, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
::::When you said the &quot;Using the full Lorenz version is identical, but only if you specify that v = 0&quot;, I thought it meant you were saying that your version, E=m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;, was better because it would apply even if v was ''not'' 0. If that's not what you meant your comment was a bit confusing (I guess I'm not sure what &quot;the full Lorenz version&quot; means--version of what?), what was supposed to be the advantage of E=m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;c&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt; over E=mc&lt;sup&gt;2&lt;/sup&gt;? When m is presented without a subscript it generally just means the rest mass as well, and plenty of textbooks do just use m for rest mass, m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt; is only used by authors who ''also'' talk about the relativistic mass (which, as I said, most modern authors do not), in order to differentiate rest mass from relativistic mass. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:58, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
::: He didn't ''say'' &quot;m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;&quot;, so &quot;m&lt;sub&gt;0&lt;/sub&gt;&quot; is ''not'' part of the quote. By &quot;m&quot; he generally referred to what we call rest mass, so he was evidently referring to the energy of mass at rest, or to the component of total energy attributable thereto independent of reference frame; but as is often said, it's all relative. As I often say, quotations by their very nature are taken out of context. Call it the ''general theory of the relativity of quotes''. What he meant by what he ''did'' say, or whether he was right or wrong, is not up to Wikiquote. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]]
::::I didn't get what you were saying for a moment there Hyposifl and Ningauble but yes of course it makes sense not to use it. Come to think of it we all use m all the time and whatever the velocity  m is always still written in terms of the the rest frame. I must have been half asleep when I did that - then compounded it with the second comment. :( It was the unsigned guy using the m without the subscript in the relativistic momentum equation that threw me, I use relativistic KE quite a lot and just kind of picked up on using it. You learn something new every time... - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 19:35, 1 September 2011 (UTC)

== If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough ==

Did he say this one: &quot;If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough&quot;? It seems to be attributed to him quite a bit out on the Internet

Citation needed.

Here is one location that provides a citation to the above Einstein quote, [https://www.interaction-design.org/literature/article/kiss-keep-it-simple-stupid-a-design-principle], [[User:eaheslop|eaheslop]] 16:02 UTC, 19 November 2018

Those are 4 dead links and 1 which directly refutes the credit given (albeit contains a comment saying &quot;einstein said this first!&quot;). Great. 18:09, 29 December 2011 (UTC)7

And this one
&quot;It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.&quot;
[http://xona.com/quotes/scientific.html]
[http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins165187.html]
[http://www.indianchild.com/famous_quotes.htm]
[http://www.phnet.fi/public/mamaa1/einstein.htm]
. Thanks! [[User:Ewlyahoocom|Ewlyahoocom]] 08:48, 10 April 2006 (UTC)
&lt;br /&gt;

:Years ago I spotted a similar saying attributed to Einstein: &lt;br /&gt;
:&quot;You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
:But this seems to be partly misattribution and partly a variant.  See under &quot;3. Misattributed&quot; in the article. [[User:Oaklandguy|Oaklandguy]] ([[User talk:Oaklandguy|talk]]) 04:43, 27 January 2014 (UTC)
:
I believe this comes from Michele de Montaigne (1533-1592). I can't recall the French, but it begins, &quot;C'est qui ce conçoit bien, [what you understand well,...] And says something like &quot;If you can't say it simply, then you don't yet understand it well enough.&quot;
:The French quote is actually by [[Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux#The_Art_of_Poetry_.281674.29|Nicolas Boileau]] - The Art of Poetry (1674), Canto I, l. 153&lt;br&gt;Einstein didn't say it, then? Too bad, I liked that formulation better. --[[User:Jules.LT|Jules.LT]] ([[User talk:Jules.LT|talk]]) 21:26, 2 February 2015 (UTC)

==The thinking that got us into this mess==

Here's a quote widely circulated on the Internet and attributed to Einstein:

&quot;The thinking it took to get us into this mess is not the same thinking that is going to get us out of it.&quot;

I can't verify it's authenticity.  I can't invalidate it either.  I'd like the main page to do one or the other.  One source [http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/QuotesPolitics.html] attributes it to ''Ideas and Opinions'' but I don't have that text in a searchable form.

==Einstein and Buddhism: a widely-cited but spurious quotation ==
:''Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and the spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.''

I've personally discussed the reliability of this quote with Einstein scholars (including John Stachel at Boston U, and founding editor of T''he Collected Papers of Albert Einstein''), and with the authors of compilations of Einstein quotations (Thomas J. McFarlane, author of ''Buddha and Einstein: The Parallel Sayings'' and Alice Calaprice, author of ''The New Quotable Einstein'') - none of whom cite it. The upshot is that neither they nor I know of any evidence that Einstein delivered a speech containing this quote. 

Of course, anyone who had unearthed a reliable citation shouldn't hesitate to reinstate the quote - and to inform these scholars, all of whom would be delighted to know about it (as would I)! [[User:Robma]] 10:15, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

: I've moved this quote to a &quot;Misattributed&quot; section and worded a source line to avoid the talk page reference, but include the information presented here. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 13:49, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

: The second version of this statement (in the &quot;Attributed&quot; section) may be authentic: it is said to occur in ''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'', edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman (said by one reviewer to be &quot;two of his closest colleagues in later life&quot;), Princeton University Press, {{ISBN|0691023689}} ; perhaps someone could verify/falsify?  (I had tracked this down on the Web some time back, but I never actually verified it with the book.)  I'm new at this, so I hope I'm posting correctly :) 12:33, 04 May 2006 (UTC) [[User:Dbrett]]
:: Thanks for that source, I will look it up at the Boston Public Library. [[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 22:38, 15 May 2006 (UTC)
:: The word &quot;Buddha&quot; appears in that book once (&quot;Our time is distinguished...&quot;), but I read through it twice and did not see that quote. [[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 23:34, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

: According to the author of the homepage [www.buddha-heute.de] the context that led to the quote can be found in &quot;Einstein: On Cosmic Religion and other opinions &amp; Aphorisms&quot; in the chapter &quot;Cosmic Religion&quot;. Can somebody verify this, please? 21:47, 15 July 2010

Some interesting quotes in that book, which I wrote down just snippets of, thinking they were famous, but turned out to be not so popular:
* &quot;Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.&quot; p. 38 - aphorism
*&quot;I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.&quot; p. 39 - 17 July 53 - unsent
*&quot;The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.&quot; p. 40 - 5 Feb 21
*&quot;Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.&quot; - p. 46 - 30 July 47 - letter
*&quot;Zionism indeed represents...&quot; - p. 53 - 18 Jun 21 - letter
* &quot;It seems hard to sneak a look at God's cards. But that He plays dice and uses 'telepathic' methods... is something that I cannot believe for a single moment.&quot; - p. 68 - 21 Mar 42
* &quot;Philosophy is like a mother who gave birth to and endowed all the other sciences. Therefore, one should not scorn her in her nakedness and poverty, but should hope, rather, that part of her Don Quixote ideal will live on in her children so that they do not sink into philistinism.&quot; - p. 106 - 28 Sep 32
* &quot;There has been an earth for a little more than a billion years. As for the question of the end of it I advise: Wait and see!&quot; - p. 34 - 19 Jun 51
* &quot;If the believers of the present day...&quot; p. 96 - 27 Jan 47 - statement to Christian conf.
[[User:Ashibaka|Ashibaka]] 23:46, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

: I've seen the &quot;sneak a look at God's cards&quot; quote cited exactly as above in [[Bill Bryson]]'s ''[[w:A Short History of Nearly Everything|A Short History of Nearly Everything]]'' {{ISBN|0-7679-0817-1}}, p. 146 of 544, footnote). I've seen it credited to &quot;Einstein in a letter to Cornel Lanczos, 21 Mar 1942&quot; in a discussion forum, but have no reliable source for the letter with which to further verify the quote. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 22:58, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

I have the book on “Einstein on Cosmic Religion and Other Opinions &amp; Aphorisms” The only quote related to Buddhism is on P 48

:''Indications of this cosmic religious sense can be found even on earlier levels of development-for example, in the Psalms of David and in the Prophets. The cosmic element is much stronger in Buddhism, as, in particular, Schopenhauer’s magnificent essays have shown us.'' [http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KSSkO_X1W3g/Td-4cHLRALI/AAAAAAAAALQ/pfZmxq0DqUI/s1600/220622_1676929371034_1471479166_31330755_6288380_o.jpg here]

Not accustom to Wikipedia so I give up on file upload and put it to my blog --[[User:Darth Prin|Darth Prin]] 14:58, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

== Thermodynamics &quot;will never be overthrown&quot; ==

I am trying to find a definitive and sourced quote for Einstein's statement about thermodynamics. Ironcially, entropy seems apply to the statement itself. Below is a partial list of the various quotes I have collected so far. While some of the differences are trival (e.g., &quot;Therefore&quot; vs. Therefore,&quot;), some are quite significant (e.g., &quot;applicability of its concepts&quot; vs. &quot;applicability of its basic concepts&quot;). I don't own a copy of &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, so I'd appreciate it if someone who has a copy could ACCURATELY (!) post the quotation from there. Here is the list:

'''Entropic Variations of Albert Einstein's Quote Regarding Thermodynamics'''

A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more dierent [sic] kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown.

A. Einstein, Autobiographical Notes in Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist P. A. Schilpp (ed.), Library of Living Philosophers, vol VII, p.33, Cambridge University Press, London, 1970.

From http://home.iitk.ac.in/~osegu/entropy_Lieb.pdf


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and more extended is its areas of applicability. Therefore, the deep impression, which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of applicability of its concepts, it will never be overthrown.

&quot;Einstein wrote in his Autobiographical Notes (p. 33)&quot;

From http://www.dailynews.lk/2003/11/20/fea09.html


Earlier in the Notes, Einstein had sung the praises of classical thermodynamics, “the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown”. Now, he explains how the very structure of the theory was influential in the search for a way out of the turn-of-the-century crisis in physics.

A. Einstein. Autobiographical notes. In P. A. Schilpp, editor, Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist, Vol. 1, pages 1–94. Open Court, Illinois, 1969.

From http://132.236.180.11/pdf/quant-ph/0601182


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its area of applicability. Hence the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown.

&quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;

http://www.astro.gla.ac.uk/users/norman/lectures/einsteinlegacy/EinsteinFundamentalsMultipage.pdf


A theory is the more impressive, the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content that, within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts, will never be overthrown.

Albert Einstein, &quot;Autobiographical Notes&quot;, 1949

http://www.brlsi.org/proceed04/science200310b.htm


A theory is more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different are the kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its range of applicability. Therefore, the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made on me. It is the only physical theory of universal content, which I am convinced, that within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts will never be overthrown.

M.J. Klein, Thermodynamics in Einstein's Universe, in Science, 157 (1967), p. 509

http://www.dam.brown.edu/people/yiannis/friends.html


A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content which I am convinced will never be overthrown, within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts.

&quot;A. Einstein&quot;

http://musr.physics.ubc.ca/~jess/hr/skept/Therm/

: I've added ''Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist'' to my Library of Congress research list, but it may take a month or so before I get down there again. They have the 1949, 1951, and 1970 editions. I'll take a look at the oldest one I can scare up. ~ [[User:Jeffq|Jeff Q]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:Jeffq|(talk)]] 14:02, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

--- 
This is from the 1971 edition of &quot;Albert Einstein: Philosopher-Scientist.&quot; The first section of the book is his own &quot;Autobiographical notes.&quot;  His original German text is on one side of the page, the English translation (by the book's editor, Paul Arthur Schilpp) is on the facing page.

Eine Theorie ist desto eindrucksvoller, je grösser die Einfachheit ihrer Prämissen ist, je verschiedenartigere Dinge sie verknüpft, und je weiter ihr Anwendungsbereich ist. Deshalb der tiefe Eindruck, den die klassische Thermodynamik auf mich machte. Es ist die einzige physikalische Theorie allgemeinen Inhaltes, von der ich überzeugt bin, dass sie im Rahmen der Anwendbarkeit ihrer Grundbegriffe niesmals umgestossen werden wird (zur besonderen Beachtung der grundsätzlichen Skeptiker).

A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression which classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content concerning which I am convinced that, within the framework of the applicability of its basic concepts, it will never be overthrown (for the special attention of those who are skeptics on principle).

[[User:Wafitzge|Wafitzge]] 17:35, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

== rearanged the entire article? ==

wheres the quotes about intelligence and wisdom and such? [[wikipedia:user:lygophile|lygophile]]13:45, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

: The article, like nearly all &quot;people&quot; articles at Wikiquote has always been arranged primarily in chronological sequences for sourced quotes and sourced works  not by &quot;subject&quot; headings. Those few &quot;people&quot; pages that do retain extensive use subject headings are in need or re-organization along less subjective criteria. Separate pages for &quot;[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]&quot; do exist for quotes by many authors, but the heavy use of sections for themes within pages for individual people has never been widely accepted here. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:20, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

== The supreme goal of all theory... ==

With regard to the attributed &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler&quot; quote, which is listed here under &quot;The supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience,&quot; I wanted to add what may be the German original:

„Das Oberste Ziel aller Theorie ist, die nicht reduzierbaren grundlegenden Elemente zu bilden, wie einfach und nur möglich, ohne zu müssen, die ausreichende Darstellung eines Einzelnen Bezugspunktes der Erfahrung zu übergeben.“ -- Albert Einstein (1933)

I found it on the web only at http://ende.explicatus.org/wiki/Hypothesis -- I have no other information about its veracity or origin. [[User:Peter Kaminski|Peter Kaminski]] 22:34, 16 May 2007 (UTC)

The quote is from a speech and can be found in the following article:
  On the Method of Theoretical Physics. Philosophy of Science, Vol. 1, No. 2. (Apr., 1934), pp. 163-169.
(thanks to JSTOR; see also http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Albert_Einstein for more information) 

In its original context:
&quot;The basic concepts and laws which are not logically further reducible constitute the indispensable and not rationally reducible part of the theory. It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.&quot;


I'm a novice here, and don't know if this is the proper way of adding information - if not I apologise.

Some time ago I tried to track down the original source of &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler&quot;. The earliest citation I could find was Readers Digest 111(666):164, October 1977. Section &quot;Quotable Quotes&quot; has 
EVERYTHING should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein. 

I e-mailed Readers Digest as follows: 
&lt;begin&gt;
To:	'yousaidit@readersdigest.co.uk'
Subject:	Quotable Quotes: October 1977

Dear Sirs,

I recognise that I am probably asking the impossible, but I thought I'd try.

In my field of science, and many others, an oft quoted dictum is attributed to Albert Einstein; &quot;Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot; Being a bit of a pedant, and not wanting to quote something I haven't seen, I've been seeking the original source. 

The earliest attribution I've been able to find is to the Reader's Digest in October 1977. I've borrowed that issue from the British Library and found the phrase on page 164 under &quot;Quotable Quotes&quot;. However, as Einstein died on 18 April 1955, the quotations origin must be earlier.

By any chance, do you have any record of the source of the October 1977 item?

With best regards, and thanks in advance,
&lt;end&gt;
to which the response was &quot;I typed the Albert Einstein quote into Google and that brought up very many references.  May I suggest you do the same?&quot;. A further e-mail asking for their source, rather than people citing them, elicited no response.

: This is probably a paraphrase of something he said less succinctly, a generalization of something he said more specifically, or a fabrication of something he might likely have agreed with. There ought to be another corollary for the [[Quotations#On Misquotation|The Rules of Misquotation]]:  &quot;Memorable ideas might as well have been expressed more memorably.&quot; &lt;p&gt; If you believe Reader's Digest's quote attributions, there is a bridge in Brooklyn that I would like to sell you. All they really attest is that the quote is in circulation, not who owns it. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 22:10, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

== Unsourced ==

I believe &quot;Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.&quot; belongs to E.F. Schumacher.
&lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[User:212.73.175.238|212.73.175.238]] ([[User talk:212.73.175.238|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/212.73.175.238|contribs]]) 01:16, 4 July 2007  (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- [Template:Unsigned2] --&gt; 

::In this matter, Ed, absence of evidence ''is'' evidence of absence, though indeed not &quot;hard evidence&quot;. You made the right call. [[User:Lionheart|Lionheart]] 18 Jan 2010

The Einstein and Stupidity quote may be related to a quote from Ideas and Opinions (p. 38) which does not mention the universe, but does say &quot;The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.&quot; [[:Wikipedia:User:Schissel|Schissel]] (from over on Wikipedia. Jan 6 2008. found this by searching on Google books.)

&quot;The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.&quot;   At least the last sentence appears to have been published in &quot;New Statesmen&quot; April 16, 1955 (or 1965, sources vary).  New Statesmen, for those years, doesn't appear to be online yet.  [[User:Macronym|Glen Johnson]] 06:37, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
:Thank you for the source (personal, not wiki-related). I found the quote in Watchmen, which doesn't source it. [[Special:Contributions/65.96.201.130|65.96.201.130]] 23:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

== Viereck interview ==

Someone removed the quotes from the Viereck interview, and I'm not sure why, so I've restored them.  Are the quotes inaccurate, is the source bogus?  What was the rationale for removing those quotes? [[User:Ed Fitzgerald|Ed Fitzgerald]] 15:15, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

== Is this Einstein? ==

Here's a quote that gets a lot of air time:

: ''A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.'' - '''New York Post, 28 November 1972'''

[http://austpsychocouns.blogspot.com/2007/09/albert-einstein-on-mental-unity-for.html] [http://www.ivu.org/history/northam20a/einstein.html]

Question:  How was Einstein quoted in ''1972?''

Was this something published posthumously, or is this just bunk?

[[User:LionKimbro|LionKimbro]]

: Such citations can be of someone's ''immediate'' source, and it might even indicate the date of the first translation or publication of the expression in this form. Many of Einstein's most famous statements are translations from German, and it is similar to thoughts expressed or translated in similar fashion elsewhere. In some works the ''ultimate'' source is stated to be a letter from 1950, but I find no quotations of it earlier than 1972. It was also published in ''The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists'' in 1981, which can probably be trusted as reliable, and in many books, so I will add it to the page with the NY Post citation as the earliest I have found. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 06:25, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Is this Einstein?

:&quot;If you strive for mediocrity, you are doomed to achieve it.&quot; &lt;i&gt;&lt;small&gt;left on 20:25, October 29, 2007 by 69.229.108.204&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/i&gt;

::I don't find it in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005), nor can I find another source for it. [[User:Ed Fitzgerald|Ed Fitzgerald]] 06:12, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

==Nationality==

Albert Einstein was an Korean, not a German. Please fix this. [[Special:Contributions/88.104.13.228|88.104.13.228]] 08:45, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
: He was born in Germany, and the periods of his citizenship are listed in the Wikipedia as : 
::German (1879–96, 1914–33)
::Swiss (1901–55)
:: American (1940–55)
: He actually became most famous, and did most of his theoretical work, while a citizen of Switzerland. ~ [[User:EO|EO]] 09:38, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
:: Korean?!  Is this some sort of joke? -- 14:52, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

Germany was exclusively ''jus sanguinis'' right up until 1990, and Jews were not permitted citizenship until after World War II. They weren't even legally allowed to call themselves &quot;Germans;&quot; that much, at least, is correct. So was Einstein really a German citizen?
: This is not true.  Jews were full German citizens ever since there was a Germany to be a citizen ''of'', except from 1935 to 1945, which is after Einstein renounced his German citizenship anyway. -- [[Special:Contributions/76.15.128.196|76.15.128.196]] 14:52, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

== Bhagavad Gita quote ==

Very much doubt Einstein ever said that, but perhaps someone can provide a source? It's just hindu propaganda methinks.
: {{unsigned|62.78.191.151}} 

: I removed this &quot;quote&quot; as almost certainly fabricated, as a google search indicates no published sources of it prior to 2005, and that book merely cites an internet web page as its source:

::When I read the Bhagavad-Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous. 

:Though Einstein respected many traditions the stated views are directly contrary to most of his known opinions regarding traditional faiths and his notions of God. ~ [[User:Dragon Warrior|Dragon Warrior]] 19:08, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

== Buddhism ==

''Albert Einstein, The Human Side'' has no reference to Buddhism, according to Google Books. Perhaps we should remove it altogether? --[[User:Radarshare|Radarshare]] 05:04, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
: Good idea.--[[User:Cato|Cato]] 17:54, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

== Did you know? ==

Albert was not Jewish!!!
[[Special:Contributions/68.223.206.108|68.223.206.108]] 17:09, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

:Oh please!! Although the Einsteins were not religiously observant Jews, they - including Albert - were nonetheless Jewish by ancestry--and by culture. [[User:Rico402|Rico402]] 19:14, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

== A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful ==

Is there any '''real''' proof that Einstein said: ''&quot;The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.&quot;''. I see this quote mentioned a lot, especially the variant (''&quot;to live [...] those who do evil, [...] those who look on and do nothing.&quot;''), but there are no sources. The source Wikipedia uses is a book called Breakthrough: Israel in a Changing World. This book can be read on-line ([http://books.google.com/books?id=iWkzKAMOs88C]) and on the mentioned page, it says: ''&quot;Albert Einstein once said: [...]&quot;''. Again, the question remains: did Einstein '''really''' say this. Ever. Anywhere. As far as I can tell there is no proof for this, at all. A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful. If a former Israeli Minister - that is what Gad Yaacobi was - says that Albert Einstein '''once said''' this, is that really a useful source? --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 14:33, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
:I will soon remove said quote from the article, since even via [http://books.google.com/ Google Books] I cannot find a single book that tells us where and when Einstein would have said this. It's popular fiction. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 12:22, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
:: I have created a disputed section for the page and moved the quote there, with further notes on the available sources. I believe that any widely quoted or misquoted statement should be included on the attributed author's page as either a sourced, misattributed or disputed statement. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 14:23, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
:::Good point, I like your solution. Thanks. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 02:07, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
:The source is Einstein's work ''Tribute to Pablo Casals'' (30 March, 1953): &quot;Was ich an ihm besonders bewundere, ist seine charaktervolle Hal­tung [...]. Er hat klar erkannt, daß die Welt mehr bedroht ist durch die, welche das Übel dulden oder ihm Vorschub leisten, als durch die Übeltäter selbst.&quot; --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 00:33, 1 October 2009 (UTC)

== Quote context: I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference! ==

context is unfortunatelly uknown to me yet ;(
* That line is from [[Jack Kerouac]], who used it to sum up the (his) philosophy of the [[w:Beat Generation|Beat Generation]]. --[[Special:Contributions/82.171.70.54|82.171.70.54]] 12:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

== Missing quote? ==
I think I miss this one: &quot;It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not entirely strangled the holy curiosity of enquiry&quot;

== Quote about too much reading ==

I tried finding a source for the widely quoted ''&quot;Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.&quot;'' I found a variant [http://books.google.com/books?id=qLr1xG9ZUS0C&amp;pg=PA87&amp;dq=reading here], where it is quoted as being told to &quot;M. K. Wisehart, ''A Close Look at the World's Greatest Thinker'', American Magazine, June 1930&quot;. I've added this quote, but if someone can find the magazine itself, it would be better. [[User:Shreevatsa|shreevatsa]] 01:30, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
: In case anyone else is curious, I looked up the June 1930 issue of American Magazine at a library, and this quote is indeed there, exactly as quoted. [[User:Shreevatsa|shreevatsa]] 03:28, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

== definition of insanity... ==

According to my research, Einstein was indeed first to use the phrase. Reference is Letters to Solovine: 1906-1955. Clearly this predates the other mentioned source.
11/30/2009 {{Unsignedip|173.22.33.251}}
: I see the claim in several unreliable sources on the web, but no response when anyone asks for specific page or context. The GoogleBooks copy of the 1987 edition of ''Letters to Solovine'' does not show any instances of the words &quot;insanity&quot; or &quot;insane&quot;. Many books quote the letters, but GoogleBooks shows none that quote this aphorism. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 21:04, 1 December 2009 (UTC)

::I found a 1925 New Yorker that attributes the phrase to writings of Einstein [http://books.google.com/books?id=giwnAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=insanity+%22expecting++a+different%22&amp;dq=insanity+%22expecting++a+different%22&amp;lr=&amp;as_drrb_is=b&amp;as_minm_is=0&amp;as_miny_is=1000&amp;as_maxm_is=0&amp;as_maxy_is=1980&amp;as_brr=0&amp;cd=1 here].  I moved the quote to disputed. - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 05:50, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

:::This however may be a misattribution and the source of modern misattributions (as old New Yorkers became searchable). - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 06:00, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

:::That source wasn't right, the text was modern, mentions Kate Bush.  I did find an older reference though [http://books.google.com/books?lr=&amp;cd=2&amp;as_brr=0&amp;as_drrb_is=b&amp;as_minm_is=0&amp;as_miny_is=1000&amp;as_maxm_is=0&amp;as_maxy_is=1980&amp;id=PbsYAQAAIAAJ&amp;dq=insanity+%22expecting+different+results%22&amp;q=%22Insanity+has+been+defined+as+doing+things+the+same+way+and+expecting+different+results%22+#search_anchor here]. - [[User:Stillwaterising|Stillwaterising]] 07:26, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

::::Stillwaterising is correct.  The &quot;New Yorker&quot; source is an [http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/01/29/070129fa_fact_sedaris?currentPage=all article] by David Sedaris, published in the January 29, 2007 issue.

:::::The earliest quote on google books I found using the phrase &quot;expecting a different&quot; and the word &quot;insanity&quot; was from 1979: [http://www.google.com/search?tbs=bks:1,bkv:a,cdr:1,cd_min:Jan%201_2%201900,cd_max:Dec%2031_2%201980&amp;tbo=p&amp;q=insanity+%22expecting+a+different%22&amp;num=10 'As Albert Einstein famously put it, &quot;The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.&quot; '] But there might be some alternate phrasing I haven't thought of (like using the word 'madness' instead of 'insanity', or 'expecting different results' or 'anticipating a different outcome' or whatever) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 08:30, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::Scratch that, google seems to have messed up the date on the source above, which actually seems to be volume 71 of [http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/Law/ForeignRelationsandNationalSecur/?view=usa&amp;ci=9780195324754 this series], which discusses the 2006 Dubai Ports World operations deal (so unless time travel was involved it can't actually have been published in 1979!) [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 09:33, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::: Alas, as much as I love GoogleBooks, their bibliographic data has so many errors that it simply cannot be taken at face value – always verify. I have been reporting errors via their feedback link, but they are very slow to fix them. I reported this particular error several months ago. (Cf. discussion at [[Talk:Insanity]].) ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 14:12, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

:::::::: [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/insanity_is_doing_the_same_thing_and_expecting_different_results/ This page] has some interesting speculation about the origin of the phrase, with a lot of people remembering the the phrase being widely used in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings going way back, though I suppose it's possible they only picked it up after reading it in [[Rita Mae Brown]]'s 1983 book [http://books.google.com/books?id=rGBobolHnxUC&amp;q=expecting-different-results+same-thing+date:1800-1990&amp;dq=expecting-different-results+same-thing+date:1800-1990&amp;lr=&amp;num=100&amp;as_brr=0&amp;ei=rF8qScT2IYPMyQS76e2WAg&amp;pgis=1 Sudden Death] which seems to be the earliest confirmed written version. Too bad google books only features the 1992 edition of [http://books.google.com/books?id=DxR-WzCKfk0C&amp;pg=PA10&amp;dq=%22insanity+is+doing+the+same+thing%22+date:1900-1990&amp;lr=&amp;num=100&amp;as_brr=0&amp;ei=XmMqSarnEIPqyASXxaWOBA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22insanity%20is%20doing%20the%20same%20thing%22%20date%3A1900-1990&amp;f=false The Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet Step 2: A Promise of Hope], and the [http://www.amazon.com/Step-Two-Promise-Hope-1426b/dp/9990108498 original 1980 edition] of the book {{ISBN|9990108498}} seems to be impossible to find when I enter the ISBN on [http://www.bookfinder.com/?mode=advanced&amp;new_used=*&amp;first_ed=&amp;signed=&amp;currency=USD BookFinder] or [http://www.bookhq.com/ BookHQ]...it would be a lead worth following up on! I wonder if it might be possible to get the 1980 edition with an inter-library loan? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:04, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

::::::::: In her book ''[http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Quotable-Einstein-Albert/dp/0691138176 The Ultimate Quotable Einstein]'', p. 474, Alice Calaprice list this aphorism among those misattributed to Einstein.  She also cites [[Rita Mae Brown]]'s book ''Sudden Death'' as the actual source, with thanks to Barbara Wolff. [[User:Wjh|Wjh]] 01:19, 5 February 2011 (UTC)
:::::::::::It does appear in the 1983 Brown novel, on page 68 (according to Google Books).[http://books.google.com/books?ei=BjFNTZj7E4K6sAOe4ZHACg&amp;ct=result&amp;id=rGBobolHnxUC&amp;dq=%22Sudden+Death%22+inauthor%3Arita-mae-brown&amp;q=insanity#search_anchor] &amp;nbsp; &lt;b&gt;[[User:Will Beback|&lt;font color=&quot;#595454&quot;&gt;Will Beback&lt;/font&gt;]]&amp;nbsp; [[User talk:Will Beback|&lt;font color=&quot;#C0C0C0&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/font&gt;]]&amp;nbsp; &lt;/b&gt; 11:17, 5 February 2011 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Yes, as quoted in the [[Rita Mae Brown]] article. The question is whether somebody else said it first. Although Brown has been known to borrow popular phrases, there is no credible evidence that this was not her own. Poor old Einstein gets everything but the book of Genesis attributed to him, and maybe parts of that too. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 16:05, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

I believe that this quote actually originated with a psychologist by the name of George Kelly.  However, the original quote was modified to what we see today.  George Kelly, in his book entitled _The Psychology of Personal Constructs_ (1955), stated that personality dysfunction is the result of, “any personal construction which is used repeatedly in spite of consistent invalidation”.

: The above is unsigned.  Can anyone verify it, provide better citation, quote etc?

:: I went looking and found [http://davidcenter.com/documents/Journal%20Articles/GEORGE_A_KELLY.pdf this pdf] which says &quot;Finally, pathology is defined by Kelly as “any personal construction which is used repeatedly in spite of consistent invalidation (Kelly in Pervin, 1970, p. 355).&quot; I suppose that's a better source than nothing, and it's citing 1970 edition, earlier than the Brown article from 1983. [[User:Lirusaito|Lirusaito]] ([[User talk:Lirusaito|talk]]) 15:18, 20 July 2016 (UTC)

There is a detailed analysis, updated 31 July 2019, in https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/23/same/. Maybe it should be included in the references. [[User:Mcljlm|Mcljlm]] ([[User talk:Mcljlm|talk]]) 02:00, 28 October 2019 (UTC)

== about morality ==

There is nothing divine about morality；it is a purely human affair.

-------------------------------------
I believe in it.  it is truth.                [[User:All my loving|All my loving]] 01:39, 8 December 2009 (UTC)
:That's from Einstein's ''The World As I See It''. [http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=aNKOo94tO6cC&amp;pg=PA29&amp;dq=%22There+is+nothing+divine+about+morality%EF%BC%9Bit+is+a+purely+human+affair%22&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;cd=1#v=onepage&amp;q=%22There%20is%20nothing%20divine%20about%20morality%EF%BC%9Bit%20is%20a%20purely%20human%20affair%22&amp;f=false] [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 01:04, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

== i don't know who to attribute this quote to, but i think Einstein knows. ==

'In it's due time I will hasten it'

Einstein's regard for the Hebrew bible is relevant and notable to the following question.

2 first things

Something from nothing

HaShamayim

VAT

HaAretz

what does the following indicate to other people?

many thanks!

[[Special:Contributions/99.224.215.151|99.224.215.151]] 17:12, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

==External site==
General thoughts on this one? [http://www.alberteinsteinsite.com/ Albert Einstein Website Online] I'm concerned that its main job is promotion for a book and screenplay. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 02:10, 24 December 2009 (UTC)

:I am thinking [http://www.alberteinsteinsite.com/ Albert Einstein Website Online] is a good Einstein site with a good assembly of Einstein links.  It is not concerning me that it is supporting an Einstein book and screenplay.  Einstein was a great man and I am very much liking books about him.  

:It is concerning, however, the issue of equality.  Mister Gordon of cartoon, what is the official policy? [http://www.westegg.com/einstein/ Albert Einstein Online] looks like it is only to make ads and give money to person naming &quot;Morgan&quot;.  Plus it is old with many bad links.  Also, the last is even more bad [http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/may/12/peopleinscience.religion &quot;Childish superstition:] - I go to read about Einstein and see many ads for making English paper money.  Also it is redundant, already there is a link to this under Quotes About Einstein.  So I prefer the site without ads, for Einstein book or screenplay, over others with ads.  That is just humble opinion of one Einstein fan.  So much thanking you for your listening. Keep up the good work Wikipeoples's!

:Irony = Living Einstein is not alive (bad link). + Einstein on Science and Religion now goes to incorrect 'dome of sky'. [[User:Lastlionofkenya|Lastlionofkenya]] 03:48, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
::''It is concerning, however, the issue of equality''
:::I agree! This isn't a Wikipedia biography page, and I think external sites that aren't directly related to quotes should go (for instance, Einstein family photos). I'm not sure what the links policy is - I'll look at it tomorrow. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 04:01, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

== Too much bolding, arbitrary eye sore ==

Not only does it make the quotes hard to read, often the parts highlighted aren't any more important than the rest of the quote.--[[Special:Contributions/67.132.247.216|67.132.247.216]] 21:08, 30 December 2009 (UTC)
:I'm not sure what the convention is. In mid-stream text, however, the intention is to highlight the parts that are commonly quoted. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 21:31, 30 December 2009 (UTC)

==Einstein's religious/spiritual beliefs:  The Second Thing We Need to Know About Him ?==

The second sentence of the wiki:

''As a Jewish scientist he had to flee from Nazi Germany, but it should be noted that he did not believe in traditional notions of a personal god, but rather perceived God to be a &quot;superpersonal&quot; entity, in ways that he declared to be inspired by Baruch Spinoza's and Arthur Schopenhauer's ideas. He also asserted that the Jewish scriptures, Jesus, Gautama Buddha and other religious figures were important guides for the ethical advancement of humanity.''

Is this wiki-vandalism ?  I'm sorry, but first impressions are important, and a wiki that is constructed this poorly is doomed from the outset.  Einstein did not win a Nobel Prize for his work in Theology, and I think it is idiocy to have this statement in the very first paragraph.

[[User:Jonny Quick|Jonny Quick]] 20:47, 24 January 2010 (UTC)Jonny Quick
:Agreed, and I've snipped it; the intro is there for concise identification, not an essay on his beliefs. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 22:07, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

:: I agree that intro was far more substantial than was necessary, and did not object to its removal after being there for a quite surprising amount of time, but wish to note that it originally was placed there as an honest and simple declaration of his views after substantial efforts to distort his actual position on a some matters had been occurring in the intro. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 16:13, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

:: I just reviewed the record and for several year the intro had simply been no more than: &quot;'''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[w:1879|1879]] - [[18 April]], [[w:1955|1955]]) German-born Swiss-American [[w:physicist|physicist]].&quot;

:: On 13 February 2007 a then-respected editor added:
::: He is best-known for his Special and General Theories of Relativity, but contributed in other areas of physics.  He became famous for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]] (for which he received the Nobel Prize) and was also a pioneer of [[w:quantum mechanics|quantum mechanics]].  As a Jew, he had to flee from Nazi Germany.  While he ceased to practise Judaism as an adult, he believed strongly in God's existence, as is shown by many of his quotes.

::I thought this language was a bit strongly stilted toward some conventional notions of God, which plainly Einstein had objections to, and on 22 February 2007 added a bit more precision to counter that; I was actually surprised that it stood without significant alteration for nearly 3 years:
::: As a Jewish scientist he had to flee from Nazi Germany, but it should be noted that he did not believe in traditional notions of a ''personal'' god, but rather perceived God to be a &quot;[[Albert_Einstein#Science_and_Religion_.281941.29|superpersonal]]&quot; entity, in ways that he declared to be inspired by [[Baruch Spinoza]]'s and [[Arthur Schopenhauer]]'s ideas. He also asserted that the [[w:Tanakh|Jewish scriptures]], [[Jesus]], [[Gautama Buddha]] and other religious figures were important guides for the ethical advancement of humanity.
:: It was a factual statement of significant truth, and thus endured — but I had no objections when I did notice it being removed a few months ago. Noticing these comments again, I just thought the history of how it came to be might have some relevance to the context of the discussion here. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 16:44, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== Birth control quote ==

Is this an authentic quote by Einstein?: “I am convinced that some political and social activities and practices of the Catholic organizations are detrimental and even dangerous for the community as a whole, here and everywhere. I mention here only the fight against birth control at a time when overpopulation in various countries has become a serious threat to the health of people and a grave obstacle to any attempt to organize peace on this planet.”

Re: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AAmerican_Freedom_and_Catholic_Power

== mathematicians ==

Is this quote real or fake? Can someone find a reliable source for it?
:&quot;Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.&quot;
--[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] 12:39, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

::This has now  been sourced: 

::* Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
::** As quoted in &quot;To Albert Einstein's Seventieth Birthday&quot; by A. Sommerfelt in ''Albert Einstein : Philosopher-Scientist'' (1949) edited by Paul A. Schilpp

::I also encountered a couple slight variants that appeared in recent years, but these seem to be merely paraphrases of the original and I did not include them as substantially quoted variants in the article. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:05, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

:::Thanks! I had also reached to the [[w:Wikipedia:WikiProject Resource Exchange/Resource Request#Einstein quote|WikiProject Resource Exchange]] at Wikipedia, where [[w:User:Dr pda|Dr pda]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=351428728&amp;oldid=351398016 presented] very detailed information about the origin of the quote, most of it I have [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=1099518&amp;oldid=1097757 added] to the entry you've wrote. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] 21:11, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== symbols based on specific religions ==
[[File:Ancient version of the Taijitu by Lai Zhi-De, sideways.svg|144px|thumb|right|To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness.]]
[[File:TaoismSymbolWhite.PNG|144px|thumb|right|Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible concatenations, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable.]]
[[File:Tree-of-Life Flower-of-Life Stage.jpg|144px|thumb|right|Scientific endeavor is a natural whole the parts of which mutually support one another in a way which, to be sure, no one can anticipate.]]

I don't think symbols that are particular to a single religion should be used for quotes that aren't about that specific religion. Kalki's justification for including a Kabbalistic and Taoistic symbol was that these symbols &quot;relate to the quoted statements they are used with in both clear and subtle ways — they are not bound to any fix dogmas, but indicative of mysteries beyond dogmas&quot;. But isn't this a form of editorializing, saying that Kabbalah and Taoism are somehow &quot;not bound to any fixed dogmas&quot;? If someone put in a big Christian cross or a symbol for Scientology to accompany a quote where Einstein was talking about his nondenominational philosophical beliefs, people would probably object. How could we justify using some religious symbols but not others (for quotes that don't discuss any specific religion, by a person who was not a follower of any specific religion) without appearing to endorse the notion that some religions are closer to cosmic truths than others? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:41, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

:Also, on the subject of Kabbalist beliefs in particular, I doubt Einstein would have seen them as much in line with his own thinking, given this quote from [[Albert_Einstein#Albert_Einstein:_The_Human_Side_.281954.29|Albert Einstein: The Human Side]]: ''The mystical trend of our time, which shows itself particularly in the rampant growth of the so-called Theosophy and Spiritualism, is for me no more than a symptom of weakness and confusion. Since our inner experiences consist of reproductions, and combinations of sensory impressions, the concept of a soul without a body seem to me to be empty and devoid of meaning.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:48, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

: The above quote is a very good one, and one that might go easily overlooked without some image to provide it a greater profile on the page, so I might add one to that. But as the quotes are about religion in general, and there are already quotes related to specific religious traditions with images on the page, when I first added these many years ago, on this highly edited page, I thought that these, actually less bound to many of the normal theistic notions of religion were quite appropriate to the quotes, which relate well to one of my favorite statements by him: 
::  All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom. It is no mere chance that our older universities developed from clerical schools. Both churches and universities — insofar as they live up to their true function — serve the ennoblement of the individual. They seek to fulfill this great task by spreading moral and cultural understanding, renouncing the use of brute force.
: I certainly can agree that dogmas exist, even when they are not recognized as dogmas — especially the ranges of dogma among modern materialists that only overtly religious and mystical traditions involve any form of dogma. I actually assert that some form of dogma is pretty much unavoidable among people, but a willingness to see beyond one's own particular ranges of dogma is always valuable, as Einstein often emphasized. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 17:07, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

::I do think Einstein would have been sympathetic to the Taoist philosophy if he had been aware of it (and I am very sympathetic to it myself), it's just that I think we should avoid the appearance of editorializing, since it's a personal judgment call as to which religions and philosophies are more similar to Einstein's views. I think the best policy is to avoid using religious symbols unless they are accompanying a quote which mentioned that specific religious tradition. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 17:39, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

::: I am confident that Einstein had at least some acquaintance with Taoist ideas, but even if he is not specifically mentioning Taoism, the most ancient form of the Taijitu symbol is one that predates any specific formal doctrines that might be associated with it (as would the cross, the swastika or the star of [[David]] for that matter), and the images I chose, years ago, for these quotes were employed as symbols I perceived to be only tangentially related to any creeds, and to some extent well-related, graphically and conceptually to the themes he was making statements upon: The most ancient swirling of the Taijitu of dark and light revolving around a stable center which is beyond the definitions of either, evoking well the &quot;sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp&quot; (though that one was actually just chosen today, after your objections to the Vedic AUM symbol, which I also thought to be quite appropriate),  the rather subtle grey on white Taijitu symbol in a quote stating &quot;there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable&quot;, and the Kabbalistic Tree of Life symbol superimposed on the more extensive and universal flower of life symbol — the Tree as something which arises within the flower, (and both patterns arising to perceptions within the mind of the perceiver, within the all pervading Kosmos). ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 18:42, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

:::: I don't think you've addressed the main element of my criticism, which is that by attaching these images to the quotes you are inserting your own opinions about the merits of different religions (or at least their similarity to Einstein's ideas). If it was a Christian cross or a Scientology symbol emerging from a flower, would you be equally happy with that image? If not, isn't that an expression of your opinions about Kabbalism being more in line with Einstein than Christianity or Scientology? Wikiquote does have a [[Wikiquote:Neutral_point_of_view|neutral point of view]] policy. And I don't see how Einstein's quote has anything to do with ideas about the interdependence of the external world with the &quot;mind of the perceiver&quot;, since Einstein seems to have believed in an objective physical world which existed regardless of observation by conscious beings, and that humans are purely physical entities.

:::: I also wouldn't be so sure that Einstein had any real knowledge of Taoism, some of the quotes about Buddhism suggest his acquaintance with it was mainly based on Schopenhauer's writings, which reflected the distorted and overly pessimistic 19th century views of Buddhism. More accurate understanding of Eastern philosophies didn't really become common in the West until the 1950s and '60s. The Taijitu symbol may be very ancient but so is the cross and the star of David, the point is that both are in the present associated with specific religious beliefs. And Einstein's quote doesn't seem to have any great affinity for the symbol anyway, since it doesn't express any idea of the blending or balance of opposites that seems to be central to the meaning of the symbol.

:::: Anyway, if we can't come to agreement on these images, I suggest we wait for others to weigh in here, hopefully some kind of consensus can be reached. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:40, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

== Er ist eine Skala der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht. ==

&quot;It is a scale of proportions which makes the bad difficult and the good easy.&quot;

I don't know the original source but the translation of the German sentence is &quot;He is a scale of proportions....&quot; (which does not make any sense to me), since &quot;Er&quot; means &quot;He&quot; and not &quot;It.&quot; The German translation of the English sentence on the other hand is &quot;Es ist eine Skala der Proportionen...&quot; I suspect that the German sentence is wrong and should be corrected.

:Doing some google book searches for various parts of the quote turned up [http://books.google.com/books?um=1&amp;q=%22Gute+leicht+mache%22+einstein&amp;btnG=Search+Books this snippet] which says: &quot;Der Modulor, von dem Albert Einstein 1946 sagte, es sei eine Skala von Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht mache, war das Ergebnis ...&quot; But then again another search came up with [http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&amp;tbo=p&amp;tbs=bks%3A1&amp;q=%22die+das+schlechte%22+einstein&amp;aq=f&amp;aqi=&amp;aql=&amp;oq=&amp;gs_rfai= this snippet] that says: &quot;Als Corbusier 1946 Albert Einstein in Princeton besuchte, soll er ihm am gleichen Abend geschrieben haben: «Es ist eine Sprache der Proportionen, die das Schlechte schwierig und das Gute leicht macht.» Le Corbusier meinte: «C'est un ...&quot;  [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 16:53, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
::Also: he's not talking about the Golden Ratio, but about the [[w:Modulor|Modulor]]. [[User:Gordonofcartoon|Gordonofcartoon]] 14:39, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

== Einstein's razor ==

I have editted the reference to Einstein's razor. If it was only a restatement of Occam's razor, which seems to be the pervading opinion, then I doubt that the quotation would be known.  As you may have guessed, I would be in favour of reinstating the entry for Einstein's razor, although a citation of its use is surely neccessary. [[User:Abmcdonald|Abmcdonald]] 12:41, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

== Three rules of work ==

I've been seeing this on the web and wanted to add this to the page, but there is no known source that I could find.

Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

:Seems to be a quote about Einstein's work by physicist John A. Wheeler; I added it to the end of the &quot;quotes about Einstein&quot; section. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 23:31, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

== Quote Misattribution? ==

Numerous uncited examples of this quote around the Web, anyone know the source, whether AE or someone else?

&quot;I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking&quot;

Thanks.

:Doing a google book search, the earliest reference seems to be [[w:Ram Dass|Ram Dass]] attributing the quote &quot;I didn't arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind&quot; to Einstein in his book ''Be Here Now'' in 1971 (see the last search result [http://www.google.com/search?q=einstein+%22rational+mind%22+ram+dass&amp;hl=en&amp;tbo=1&amp;tbs=bks:1&amp;ei=UKVqTJ_VOcP18AaN9tzrCg&amp;start=10&amp;sa=N here]), but whether he was paraphrasing an actual quote or just misremembering isn't clear. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 15:13, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

== As simple as possible ==

A possible origin of Einstein &quot;quote&quot;:

*  I also remember a remark of Albert Einstein, which certainly applies to music. He said, in effect, that everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.
** Roger Sessions, “How a ‘difficult’ composer gets that way”, ''New York Times'', January 8, 1950, Arts &amp;amp; Leisure section, [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30615FE3559137A93CAA9178AD85F448585F9 p. 89]

This certainly appears to be a paraphrase—“''in effect''”—and, since it's in the ''New York Times'', it's prominent enough to have been the source of this quotation.


* There is also the other side of the same coin minted by Einstein: “Everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler”—a scientist's defense of art and knowledge—of lightness, completeness and accuracy.
** Louis Zukofsky (June 1950). &quot;Poetry in a Modern Age&quot;. ''Poetry'' '''76''' (3): 177-180. JSTOR [http://www.jstor.org/stable/20591281 20591281].

I was initially quite excited by this since Zukofsky was not just a casual observer of Einstein; he [http://books.google.com/books?id=QNBlAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=+%22albert+einstein:+a+biographical+portrait%22 had translated] ''Albert Einstein: a biographical portrait'' decades earlier.  Maybe there was something to this quote, after all! In Zukofsky's book ''Prepositions'', (and in [http://www.jstor.org/stable/25086823 “An Old Note on WCW”]), it appears that Zukovsky wrote this bit [http://books.google.com/books?id=sBPfUsOE7QcC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;dq=%22as+simple+as+it+can+be%22+1948 in 1948]. But it was first published five months after Sessions's essay in the NYT and, elsewhere, [http://books.google.com/books?id=QNBlAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=sessions Zukofsky apparently quoted other parts of that essay], so I think that the 1948 date is probably wrong or that sentence was added to the essay in 1950. But it could be that the quote actually predates 1950.

Zukofsky also [http://books.google.com/books?id=SByBfdZJGeIC&amp;pg=PA110&amp;dq=%22Everything+should+be+as+simple+as+it+can+be,+Says+Einstein%22 used the quote] in part 12 of his poem “A”.


From the 1960s:

* We try to keep in mind a saying attributed to Einstein—that everything must be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.
** “A Letter From The Publisher”, ''Time Magazine'', Dec. 14, 1962 [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,872923,00.html]

*Albert Einstein is supposed to have said that every proposition should be as simple as possible—but not one bit simpler.
** Harlan Cleveland, “Crisis Diplomacy”, ''Foreign Affairs'', Vol. 41, No. 4 (Jul., 1963), [http://www.jstor.org/stable/20029649 pp. 638-649]


Variants:
* Everything should be as simple as it can be, but not simpler.
* Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
* Things should be as simple as possible, but no simpler.

—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:13, 4 November 2010 (UTC)

== The world is a dangerous place ==

The anonymous tip above about the source of the quote proved to be true.

The “Tribute to Pablo Casals” was solicited for and appeared in the book
''Conversations avec Pablo Casals: souvenirs et opinions d'un musicien''
by José María Corredor (1954). The book was translated into
many languages including German, ''Gespräche mit Casals'' (1954), and 
English, ''Conversations with Casals'' (1957).

The original text from Einstein (Einstein Archive Catalog #34-347), and
as it appeared in the German edition (emphasis added):

* Die Wertschätzung Pablo Casals' als großen Künstler braucht fürwahr nicht auf mich zu warten, denn hierin herrscht Einstimmigkeit unter den Auguren. Was ich aber an ihm besonders bewundere, ist seine charaktervolle Haltung nicht nur gegen die Unterdrücker seines Volkes, sondern auch gegen alle diejenigen Opportunisten, die immer bereit sind, mit dem Teufel zu paktieren. Er hat klar erkannt, daß '''die Welt mehr bedroht ist durch die, welche das Übel dulden oder ihm Vorschub leisten, als durch die Übeltäter selbst'''.

In the French edition:
* &lt;p&gt;Il n'était certes pas nécessaire d'attendre ma voix pour proclamer en Pablo Casals un très grand artiste, car à cet égard les avis autorisés sont unanimes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ce que j'admire cependant particulièrement en lui, c'est sa ferme attitude non seulement à l'endroit des oppresseurs de son peuple, mais également à l'endroit des opportunistes toujours prêts à pactiser avec le diable.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Il a su comprendre avec beaucoup de clairvoyance que '''le monde court un plus grand danger de la part de ceux qui tolèrent le mal ou l'encouragent que de la part de ceux-là mêmes qui le commettent'''.&lt;/p&gt; 

In the English  edition:

*It is certainly unnecessary to await my voice in acclaiming Pablo Casals as a very great artist, since all who are qualified to speak are unanimous on this subject. What I particularly admire in him is the firm stand he has taken, not only against the oppressors of his countrymen, but also against those opportunists who are always ready to compromise with the Devil.  He perceives very clearly that '''the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it'''.


Variants:

* The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
* The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 15:38, 11 November 2010 (UTC)

== Excess quotes? ==

Some quotes may exceed [[WQ:LOQ|Wikiquote guidelines]].

These are mostly from before the guidelines were drawn up in 2008. Also, there are many quotes from three essays on science and religion, and two books on Einstein and religion—perhaps a few too many.

I've tried to exclude all notes and quote variants in the word count.

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot;
|+Total quotes from work
|-
!Work
!Total Words
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science (1930)|Religion and Science (1930)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1143
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Mein Weltbild (1931)|Mein Weltbild (1931)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1076
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#My Credo (1932)|My Credo (1932)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|457
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Obituary for Emmy Noether (1935)|Obituary for Emmy Noether (1935)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|243
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Science and Religion (1941)|Science and Religion (1941)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1306
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science: Irreconcilable? (1948)|Religion and Science: Irreconcilable? (1948)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|700
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#The World As I See It (1949)|The World As I See It (1949)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1386
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#&quot;Why Socialism?&quot; (1949)|&quot;Why Socialism?&quot; (1949)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|609
|-
|align=&quot;left&quot;|[[Albert Einstein#Einstein and Religion (1999)|Einstein and Religion (1999)]]
|align=&quot;right&quot;|1363
|}

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot;
|+Long single quotes
|-
!Section
!Words
!Start of quote
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1940s|1940s]]
|261
|A wonder of such nature I experienced as a child of 4 or 5 years, when my father …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1940s|1940s]]
|258
|The reciprocal relationship of epistemology and science is of noteworthy kind. … 
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#1950s|1950s]]
|303
|The theory of relativity is a beautiful example of the basic character of the modern …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Posthumous publications|Posthumous publications]]
|302
|I just want to explain what I mean when I say that we should try to hold on to physical …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Religion and Science (1930)|Religion and Science (1930)]]
|255
|It is therefore easy to see why the churches have always fought science and persecuted …
|-
|[[Albert Einstein#Science and Religion (1941)|Science and Religion (1941)]]
|296
|Even though the realms of religion and science in themselves are clearly marked off from …
|}
{{unsigned|KHirsch|22:00, 16 November 2010}}


: I generally object to needless removal of actual quotes of some interest, far more than such accumulation of them as some might find excessive. Most of the quotes that have been gathered here are widely quoted, or extensions of such quotes placed into context. Loose &quot;guidelines&quot; are such things as I generally do not object to being developed, to the extent they provide some ''basis'' for reasonable arguments for constraint, but unless they actually are derived from ''legal'' mandates, the habit of treating them as imperative is one which I do reject, as an imposition on the proper freedom to provide useful information. ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 22:55, 16 November 2010 (UTC)
:: Although it might be possible to trim a little around the edges, it would not have much impact on the ginormity of the article unless we discard material that actually is fairly widely quoted. If there is something a little grotesque about the quantity of material here (Cf. his remarks beginning &quot;The cult of individual personalities...&quot; at ''Some Notes on my American Impressions'' under [[Albert Einstein#The World As I See It (1949)|The World As I See It (1949)]]), it is a fair reflection of generations of intense public interest in his perspective on a variety of subjects. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 14:23, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

== &quot;A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?&quot; ==

This seems to be floating around everywhere, even having been passed off on the show Criminal Minds as an actual quote, but there doesn't seem to be a reliable source for it anywhere. Not a one. It seems to be all completely hearsay. 

'''01.23.2011''' - Carson

:One day he received from an unknown lady a photograph of himself with a request that he should write a dedication beneath it for her collection. He returned the picture to her with the following verse: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;A thought that sometimes makes me hazy:&lt;br /&gt;Am I — or are the others crazy?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:''Albert Einstein: a documentary biography'', Carl Seelig (1956), p.  194.
:—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:51, 14 February 2011 (UTC)

==Cluttered desk==

A nice quote floating around the net &quot;If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?&quot;.  When it is attributed, it seems to be to Einstein, but is that true?
08:48, 24 May 2011 (UTC)

: As far as I can tell, it is not a genuine quote. I can't find it in any book about Einstein. The earliest I find it at all in Google Books is 2002, and nowhere is any source information given. I see a USENET post from 1992 that says it was on a poster. —[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] 19:07, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

:: The page for [[Laurence_J._Peter]] attributes this to a book of his from 1977. --[[Special:Contributions/90.245.48.148|90.245.48.148]] 16:41, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

== &quot;Posthumous publications&quot; section ==

Some of the quotes in this section are not posthumous publications in the ordinary sense of private letters, journals, unfinished manuscripts, and other ''documents written by him'' but not published during his lifetime. Several of them are merely attributions that give no indication of the origins. I do not think attributions that give no provenance whatsoever can reasonably be labeled &quot;Posthumous publications.&quot; ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 15:34, 5 July 2011 (UTC)

== Paris 6 April 1922 ==

''Address to the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922); French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378] and Berliner Tageblatt (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535])''&lt;br /&gt;
Unfortunately alberteinstein.info has nothing under the said archive numbers nor under 04/07/1922 nor  04/08/1922. It has 
*[http://new.alberteinstein.info/vufind1/Record/EAR000013202 04/01/1922 french press clipping] &quot;M. Einstein a fait, hier apres-midi, sa premiere conference. ..&quot;
*[http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13229 04/06/1922 french press cartoon]
*[http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13191 04/12/1922 Berliner Tageblatt]  Paul Block, Der verborgene Einstein&lt;br /&gt;
The [http://www.scribd.com/doc/966376/La-theorie-de-la-relativite-dEinstein-a-la-Societe-francaise-de-philosophie record of the event] on 6 April 1922 contains neither Allemagne nor juif nor cosmopolite and France only in &quot;Collège de France&quot;.    --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 09:56, 9 August 2011 (UTC)

:Might be helpful to add that this citation is to a variant of the 1910s quote &quot;By an application of the theory of relativity to the taste of readers, today in Germany I am called a German man of science...&quot; (I was looking in the 1920s section and wondering why I couldn't find it). This citation does appear on pages 10-11 of ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' which is generally a pretty trustworthy resource, you can see it on google books [http://books.google.com/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;lpg=PA10&amp;dq=%22Address%20to%20the%20French%20Philosophical%20Society%20at%20the%20Sorbonne%22&amp;pg=PA10#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Address%20to%20the%20French%20Philosophical%20Society%20at%20the%20Sorbonne%22&amp;f=false here]. Do the online Einstein archives at www.alberteinstein.info contain all available documents in the Archives or only a selection? [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:21, 9 August 2011 (UTC)
::I see the &quot;disclaimer&quot; at [http://www.alberteinstein.info/disclaimer/ http://www.alberteinstein.info/disclaimer/] says:

::''No guarantee is given as to the accuracy, consistency, or completeness of the information displayed in the database records.''

::''Historical research constantly dictates revisions, additions, and deletions. Therefore, the database records will continuously be revised and periodically updated as additional research is carried out at both the Albert Einstein Archives and the Einstein Papers Project.'' [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 19:23, 9 August 2011 (UTC)

&quot;By an application&quot; from 1919 is well documented, although according to [http://www.archive.org/details/celebritiesofour000452mbp Herman Bernstein 1924] page 267 it wasn't written by Einstein &quot;at the request of the newspaper&quot; (TIMES) (as Quotable Einstein claims) but as a reaction to &quot;the description of me and my circumstances in the ''Times''&quot;, probably the article ''THE REVOLUTION IN SCIENCE - Einstein vs. Newton - Views of eminent physicists'' in the ''Times'' of 8 November 1919, following the publication of the findings of Eddington's expedition by the Royal Society and the Royal Astronomical Society on 6 November 1919. That Einstein in an ''address'' to the Société française de philosophie at the Sorbonne on 6 April 1922 (the event is described [http://books.google.de/books?id=NhK6LIApE8UC&amp;pg=PA138 here on page 138]) could have found reason to speak of personal matters (his nationality, his Jewishness) is to me absolutely inconceivable. What could have caused him as a guest of honour in France to comment again, as he had done in November 1919 (shortly after the war), on &quot;a tendency to discrimnate between men of science on nationalist grounds&quot; (Herman Bernstein)? --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 22:58, 10 August 2011 (UTC)

:I don't think Einstein was invoking his nationality or Jewishness in a proud way, rather it sounded to me like a ''joke'' about the possibility that various countries would try to claim his as &quot;one of them&quot; if his theory was successful, but disown as being from a foreign &quot;enemy&quot; country (or in Germany's case, disown him as a Jew) if his theory failed (and it seems to be sort of an of implication of the joke that he looks at such national-identity claims with a certain ironic distance). [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:42, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

Of course what Einstein wrote for the TIMES is a joke, a joke he &quot;enjoyed [...] so much that he repeated it for the benefit of Ehrenfest (Einstein to Paul Ehrenfest, 4 December 1919)&quot;, [http://www.alberteinstein.info/PDFs/CP7Doc25_pp206-211.pdf Doc 25 p. 211 note 9]. I only doubt that he repeated it, unnoticed by the word for word record of the event, in an &quot;address the French Philosophical Society at the Sorbonne (6 April 1922)&quot;. According to Ernst Gehrke Einstein had been reluctant to accept the invitation to Paris but had been urged to do so by Germany's foreign minister Walter Rathenau who hoped Einstein's visit would improve the image of Germany in France and French-German relations. Accordingly Germany did everything within her power to make Einstein appear as a German. cf. [http://www.bpb.de/popup/popup_druckversion.html?guid=4PUY9W Grundmann 2005] and [http://www.alberteinstein.info/finding_aid/ alberteinstein.info: 1922 Visit to Paris contributes to normalization of French-German relations.]. Can one imagine that under these circumstances Einstein - not while drinking wine with colleagues, but in an official &quot;address to the Societé&quot; - could have stated: &quot;'''If''' my theory of relativity is proven successful, '''Germany will''' claim me as a German ..&quot;, when Germany was doing exactly this already?  --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 08:44, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

:What &quot;word for word record of the event&quot; are you referring to? Einstein didn't have a lot of respect for formality, I don't see why it's inherently implausible that he'd repeat the joke at an occasion like that. It's true the use of the word &quot;if&quot; is a bit odd given Eddington's confirmation of his prediction about the bending of light in 1919, but it's possible he was recalling something he had said earlier, or that &quot;if&quot; is a bad translation of his remarks. But you may be right that there's some confusion here, the New York Times article [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F70E16FE385D157A93C4A81789D85F448385F9&amp;scp=1&amp;sq=einstein&amp;st=p Einstein on Classifications] from Feb. 16 1930 reads in its entirety: ''According to a Jewish Telegraphic Agency dispatch of Dec. 3 from Berlin, German papers have featured a summary of the address made by Professor Albert Einstein recently conferred an honorary degree upon him. He is reported to have said, &quot;If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.&quot;'' First of all it's odd that in 1930 they would say this happened &quot;recently&quot; if it's from 1922 (and the [http://www.oxfordreference.com/pages/samplep-18.html Oxford Reference Online] says instead that the quote is supposed to have been said at an &quot;address at the Sorbonne, Paris, possibly early December 1929&quot;), and also it's rather second-hand, it's possible that original German article simply mentioned this prior quote in their article without claiming that it was actually from an address to the Sorbonne, and that the &quot;Jewish Telegraphic Agency dispatch&quot; confused this with part of his address (I found an archived copy of the dispatch from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency but it doesn't give any additional information, see [http://archive.jta.org/article/1929/12/04/2780697/if-true-hes-german-if-not-hes-jewish here]). Might help if we could find a copy of the 8 April 1922 article from the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' that's listed as a source in &quot;Quotable Einstein&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 20:33, 11 August 2011 (UTC)

I mentioned the record of the &quot;Séance du 6 Avril 1922&quot; already on 9 August 2011: http://www.scribd.com/doc/966376/La-theorie-de-la-relativite-dEinstein-a-la-Societe-francaise-de-philosophie. Of course it would help if we could find a copy of the 8 April 1922 article from the ''Berliner Tageblatt'', the only source mentioned in Quotable Einstein besides a clipping from an unnamed French newspaper. But for the time being, one can have a look at Grundmann: [http://books.google.de/books?id=1bxYPMHPhGcC&amp;pg=PA137 The Einstein dossiers]. Page 137 quotes from a long article [http://alberteinstein.info/db/ViewDetails.do?DocumentID=13191 04/12/1922 Berliner Tageblatt] Paul Block, Der verborgene Einstein: &quot;Because he (Einstein) has not said a single word that could be politically interpreted and reinterpreted, the serene glory of his scholarly renown is not marred by any garish flares.&quot;  Page 138 quotes from an interview Vossische Zeitung published on 18 April 1922: Einstein admitted that he &quot;never made any secret out of having come to France as a representative of German science&quot; and added: &quot;You must also take into consideration that the invitation addressed to me by the Collège de France was addressed to a German Scholar.&quot; With this in mind: does it really make much sense to assume that Einstein in an address to the Société française de philosophie on 6 April 1922 joked about Germany claiming him as a German and France declaring him a citizen of the world (if ...)?  --[[User:Vsop.de|Vsop.de]] 20:14, 21 August 2011 (UTC)

:But [http://books.google.com/books?id=1bxYPMHPhGcC&amp;lpg=PR2&amp;pg=PA137#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 137 of The Einstein Dossiers] is discussing an article from ''Berliner Tageblatt'' from 12 April 1922, whereas the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' article referenced in ''Quotable Einstein'' is said to have been from 8 April 1922. And can we be sure the transcript of the 6 April 1922 remarks (which seem to be of a sort of roundtable discussion rather than an 'address' by Einstein) is the same one the ''Berliner Tageblatt'' was covering on 8 April 1922? It seems likely, but it could be that he gave an address and then later participated in a roundtable discussion. Basically I agree that there is likely to be an error here, but the ''Quotable Einstein'' is generally a very trustworthy source and I'd be hesitant to declare it wrong without actually being able to check the full details, such as the original ''Berliner Tageblatt'' article. We might however note that there seems to be some confusion about this quote, given that the [http://www.oxfordreference.com/pages/samplep-18.html Oxford Reference Online] gives a nearly identical quote and says it's from an &quot;address at the Sorbonne, Paris, possibly early December 1929&quot;. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] 01:39, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

::These sources are crap. I was searching this Articles, both are available online but no one contains this quote. 
::: [https://echo.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/ECHOdocuView?url=/permanent/gehrcke/kiste04/mappe17/pageimg/135r&amp;mode=filepath All together]
:::: including the french article &quot;EINSTEIN CHEZ LES PHILOSOPHES&quot;, also known as &quot;French press clipping (7 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 36-378]&quot;
:::: including the german article &quot;Einstein bei den Philosophen&quot;, also known as &quot;Berliner Tageblatt (8 April 1922) [Einstein Archive 79-535]&quot;
:::: including several other german newspaper articles from 7./8. April 1922
::: [https://dfg-viewer.de/show/?set%5Bmets%5D=https://content.staatsbibliothek-berlin.de/zefys/SNP27646518-19220408-0-0-0-0.xml Berliner Tagesblatt, Morgenausgabe vom 8.4.2022], you can find the &quot;Einstein bei den Philosophen&quot; part on page 3, bottom left

::They only report that Einstein was honoured in Paris and that his theory was discussed. The Berliner Tageblatt also called him &quot;deutscher Gelehrter&quot; (german savant). I don't speak french but as far as I understand the french article, a guy calles Xaver Leon was quoted when he called Einstein a &quot;génial autor&quot;. I don't see any reference in the french article about Einsteins nationality or being cosmopolitan. No quote from Einstein. The complete german original Text from Berliner Tageblatt: '' '''Einstein bei den Philosophen'''. Aus Paris meldet unser Korrespondent: Gestern hatte die französische Gesellschaft der Philosophie Einstein zu einer Diskussion eingeladen. In einem Saale der Sorbonne fand sich eine Gesellschaft der ersten Denker Frankreichs zusammen, die den deutschen Gelehrten mit großer Sympathie begrüßte. Der Vorsitzende Xaver Léon sprach einige Worte des Willkommens. Professor Langevin setzte die Theorie Einsteins auseinander, und die gelehrte Diskussion begann. Ueber den Eindruck schreibt der &quot;Matin&quot;: „Diese Vereinigung der Elite des französischen Geistes kam zu der Ansicht, daß Einsteins neues System den größten Fortschritt bedeute, der seit Jahrhunderten in der wissenschaftlichen Auffassung des Weltalls gemacht worden ist. Einsteins Theorie ist stark genug, um die gegen sie erhobenen Einwendungen siegreich zu widerlegen.&quot; ''
::[[Special:Contributions/91.59.181.185|91.59.181.185]] 13:00, 14 August 2022 (UTC)
:::Addition: I've also read the referred &quot;Der verborgene Einstein&quot; (the hidden Einstein) article from [https://dfg-viewer.de/show/?set%5Bmets%5D=https://content.staatsbibliothek-berlin.de/zefys/SNP27646518-19220412-1-0-0-0.xml Berliner Tageblatt, 12. April 1922, Morgenausgabe] page 5. It's hard to read because of old german Fraktur font and the left border is cut, but as far as I can see it's about how Einstein is celebrated in France after this meeting. He became a celebrity, all french newspapers printed his picture and in a revue a women sang a song about the &quot;Boche with the [...] eyes&quot; and doing jokes about the relativity of german payments. (1922 was still a time of german-french enmity and short after WW1). Einstein became a fashion and all french became crazy about him.
:::It is also written that he was hiding from the press, but got caught on first day by an interviewer when walking over the court of Collége de France. The journalist was holding a small friendly speech and pulled out a list of questions about pacifism, german mentality, reparations, relativity, solar eclipse and so on. Einstein answered &quot;Merci&quot; and hurried to disappear.
:::At the end of the article the Berliner Tagespost wrote: &quot;''Now an interviewer could come along about pacifism and french mentality and reparations and solar eclipse and so on, whatever you need for a sensational article...but better not. Because of all those interesting things Einstein didn't say a single word, and what he said, the world doesn't concern. The germand Professor only came to Paris to proclaim [...] his new doctrine. That's what he did, for the high honour of science. His human nature remains, to his demand, hidden''.&quot;
:::Sorry for my bad english, the original german text: ''Nun könnte ein Interviewer kommen über Pazifismus und französische Mentalität und Reparationen und Relativität und Sonnenfinsternis und so, was man eben für einen sensationellen Artikel braucht . . . aber lieber nicht. Denn von allen diesen interessanten Dingen hat Einstein kein Wort gesagt, und was er sagte, geht die Welt nichts an. Der deutsche Professor ist nur nach Paris gekommen, um in dem alten französischen Lehr- haus mit dem stolzen Wahlspruch „Docet omnia&quot; seine neue Lehre zu verkünden. Das hat er getan, zur hohen Ehre der Wissenschaft. Sein Menschliches bleibt, nach seinem Wunsche, verborgen.''
:::Note that first it was the &quot;german mentality&quot;, then it was the &quot;french mentality&quot;. In my understanding this german Article from 12.April 1922 clearly states, that Einstein didn't say anything quotable after visiting Paris on 6.4.22, therefore the &quot;If my theory of relativity is proven successful, ... &quot; variant it's a fake quote with incorrect sources. But &quot;By an application of the theory of relativity to the taste of readers...&quot; from &quot;Time&quot; seems correct to me
:::[[Special:Contributions/91.59.181.185|91.59.181.185]] 14:18, 14 August 2022 (UTC)

== Is this an Einstein quote? ==

&quot;With enough energy you can do anything.&quot; - I remember reading this described as a 'famous' Einstein quote but now cant find it anywhere. The original source was something scientific, either a book or a journal but it was many years ago (probably over 20 years) - and I can no longer remember where it came from. A search of the internet finds little or nothing but the thing I realize is that the original might have been in German or was misquoted or was simply made-up or attributed to the wrong author. In science if something was only in one or two obscure books and is old its not uncommon not to find it on the internet at all. Thanks if anyone can help me. - [[User:Lucien86|Lucien86]] 09:20, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

== life and expression ==

All im putting here is that life in its entirety is the total single expression, of an infinitely large amount of impressions, that consciousness has made for itself

== Fixed transcription error in &quot;Einstein and the Poet&quot; section ==

&quot;The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because are [should be: our] senses are limited, we can't grasp them. There is a pattern in creation.&quot;

The quote appears correctly in the book (p. 10).

[[User:MEMcNeil|MEMcNeil]] ([[User talk:MEMcNeil|talk]]) 14:43, 23 February 2012 (UTC)

== I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge... ==


The quotation in the article isn't the original version.

A version of this appears in ''What Life Means to Einstein'', Saturday Evening Post October, 26, 1929: http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf

:“If we owe so little to the experience of others, how do you account for sudden leaps forward in the sphere of science? Do you ascribe your own discoveries to intuition or inspiration?”
:
:“'''I believe in intuitions and inspirations.''' I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am. When two expeditions of scientists, financed by the Royal Academy, went forth to test my theory of relativity, I was convinced that their conclusions would tally with my hypothesis. I was not surprised when the eclipse of May 29, 1919, confirmed my intuitions. I would have been surprised if I had been wrong.”
:
:“Then you trust more to your imagination than to your knowledge?”
:
:“I am enough of the artist to draw freely upon my imagination. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.'''”

Then a modified version appears in ''Cosmic Religion with other Opinions and Aphorisms'', 1931 in this form:

:“'''I believe in intuition and inspiration.''' … At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason. When the eclipse of 1919 confirmed my intuition, I was not in the least surprised. In fact I would have been astonished that it turned out otherwise. '''Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.'''”

Einstein seems to be the only credited author of the book, there is no credited editor, so presumably he himself has adapted this from what he was quoted as saying in the Post interview. [[User:HisRuntyDogma|HisRuntyDogma]] ([[User talk:HisRuntyDogma|talk]]) 04:19, 25 March 2012 (UTC)

:There are also ellipses in the other credited source, [http://books.google.com/books?id=XtQLAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22intuition+and+inspiration%22#search_anchor Transformation: Arts, Communication, Environment]. I'll add the full quote from Cosmic Religion. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:46, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

== Did Einstein really say this?  If so, when... ==

This is all over the Internet, but I can't find original source...

The Woman who follows the crowd,
will usually go no further than the crowd.
The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in Places,
No one has ever been before. ♥
~ Albert Einstein

:Doesn't seem likely, the quote (with &quot;man&quot; in place of &quot;woman&quot;) was attributed to Alan Ashley-Pitt before I can find it attributed to Einstein, see the extended quote on [http://books.google.com/books?id=mtgwjiuhYPgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA216#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 216 of You're Going to Do What?: The Memoir of Dr. W. Gifford-Jones] from 2000, that same extended quote appears on p. 95 of ''Seize the Day: 7 Steps to Achieving the Extraordinary in an Ordinary World'' from 1994, see snippets [http://books.google.com/books?id=c_sJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22man+who+follows+the+crowd%22#search_anchor here] and [http://books.google.com/books?id=c_sJAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22alan+ashley+pitt%22#search_anchor here] (the last snippet also mentions that &quot;Alan Ashley-Pitt is the British-sounding pen name for Phil Wernig, a greeting-card entrepreneur&quot;), and it also seems to be in the 1987 ''Communication Arts, Vol. 29'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=delUAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=alan+ashley+pitt+%22get+no+farther+than+the+crowd%22#search_anchor here]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 19:58, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

== Are the pictures distracting? ==

I find many of the... illustrations... other than the picture of Einstein and maybe a couple of other ones near the top, detract from the credibility of the page.  Almost like they are putting a kind of New Age spin on things.  At the very least, some of the illustrations give  flavor to this page that as far as I can tell is unlikely to represent Einstein's own perspective.  Maybe I'm reading too much into it - what do the rest of y'all think? 
--[[Special:Contributions/76.185.113.197|76.185.113.197]] 16:07, 21 May 2012 (UTC)

Also, since many of the quotes are pretty short, and there are a lot of quotes, I think Wikiquote would be more readable if it was broken up into a 2 or 3 column layout.
--[[Special:Contributions/76.185.113.197|76.185.113.197]] 16:09, 21 May 2012 (UTC)


:I find the pictures wonderful, and fulfilling. I have studied Einstein, his science and philosophy for decades. I find it a fitting article and depiction. Great work and thanks.

== I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book. ==

The section listing quotations in &quot;Sidelights on Relativity&quot; (1922) includes the sentence &quot;I never commit to memory anything that can easily be looked up in a book.&quot; I've examined some editions of this work translated into English and cannot locate this quotation. For example, here is link to an edition at the Internet Archive that does not seem to contain the quote:
http://archive.org/details/sidelightsonrela00einsuoft
This is a translation by G. B. Jeffery and W. Perrett first published in 1922.

Could someone tell me the precise edition that contains the quote. Also, where does the quote appear within the text. Does the edition mentioned above contain an alternative translation or was the sentence entirely omitted in the 1922 translation. Thanks for your help.    [[User:Garson|Garson]] ([[User talk:Garson|talk]]) 07:19, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

:Thanks, the quote [http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=1014368&amp;oldid=1012890 was added 25 September 2009] by an anonymous user who never made any additional edits, so there's probably not much hope they will respond to defend the addition. I removed the quote from the &quot;Sidelights on Relativity&quot; and put it as an unsourced variant to this quote in the [[Albert Einstein#1920s|1920s]] section: &quot;[I do not] carry such information in my mind since it is readily available in books.&quot; [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 12:45, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

It's from Sherlock Holmes whilst discussing the orbit of the Earth around the Sun.

== The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know ==

Widely attributed to Einstein, but I couldn't find it mentioned, even as apocryphal, in the article.  Expresses a different idea to Socrates &quot;I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.&quot; [[User:John Quiggin|John Quiggin]] ([[User talk:John Quiggin|talk]]) 21:26, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

:Earliest source I find on google books is the 1997 book ''Zen Soup'', on [http://books.google.com/books?id=2NKgNydoxwMC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PT12#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this page]. None of the other google books results were scholarly, they mostly popular books on eastern religion and self-help. I doubt it's real, you can put it on the list of &quot;unsourced and dubious/overly modern sources&quot; at the top of the Talk page if you want. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 00:55, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
:: Rather than &quot;overly modern&quot;, this strikes me as the sort of thing people have been saying for centuries. I doubt it is attributable to anyone in particular. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 18:33, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
::: The section is titled &quot;Unsourced and dubious/overly modern ''sources''&quot;, not &quot;Unsourced and dubious/overly modern ''sentiments''.&quot; The fact that the earliest source for this quote dates to a non-scholarly 1997 book suggests reason to think the exact quote (including exact wording) is a modern invention not actually attributable to Einstein, even if the general sentiment it was expressing is very old. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 20:35, 24 June 2012 (UTC)
::::It's a common sentiment. It's also been ascribed to [[Socrates]] and [[Confucius]]. --[[User:Tryst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:Violet; font-family:Tahoma&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display:none;&quot;&gt;User:&lt;/span&gt;'''Tryst'''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Tryst|(talk to me!)]] 22:17, 24 June 2012 (UTC)

==If I can't picture it, I can't understand it==

Widely quoted as being from Einstein but did he actually say it? The earliest source I can find on Google Books from 1966 which says &quot;If a person doesn't understand the picture he won't understand the words.&quot;

:I don't see any books that attribute the quote to Einstein prior to [http://books.google.com/books?id=08STcsKc6A4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA137#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this one] from 1995. I found [http://books.google.com/books?id=fXAKjn6a_U4C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA21#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false this source] saying it was attributed to Einstein by his colleague [[John Archibald Wheeler]], so I searched for the quote along with &quot;Wheeler&quot; and found it was in science journalist John Horgan's 1996 book ''The End of Science'', but much of that book was based on pieces he had done earlier so I looked around a bit more and found the chapter came from [http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=pioneering-physicist-john-wheeler-dies this 1991 Scientific American piece] by Horgan in which he profiled John Wheeler. It seems as though Wheeler attributed the line to Einstein: ''Wheeler is also renowned for his coinages, analogies and aphorisms, both self-made and co-opted. Among the one-liners he bestows on me are, &quot;If I can't picture it, I can't understand it&quot; (Einstein); &quot;Unitarianism [Wheeler’s official religion] is a featherbed to catch falling Christians&quot; (Darwin); &quot;Never run after a bus or woman or cosmological theory, because there'll always be another one in a few minutes&quot; (a professor of French history at Yale); and &quot;If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day&quot; (Wheeler).'' I'll add the quote to [[Albert_Einstein#Attributed_from_memory_and_posthumous_publications]]. [[User:Hypnosifl|Hypnosifl]] ([[User talk:Hypnosifl|talk]]) 15:14, 16 July 2012 (UTC)

== Needs Cleaning ==

This page is horrible to read, dotpoints appear to be randomly sub-dotpoints of other dotpoints, some quotes and some exposition without differentiation, and just when you think a pattern is emergine, you get a dotpoint of exposition on the same level as a quote which is for some reason a sub-dotpoint of another quote. AAAARGH! [[Special:Contributions/124.182.240.217|124.182.240.217]] 09:58, 15 August 2012 (UTC)

== 'Scientist and humanist' ==

&quot;one of the most influential scientists and humanists of all time&quot; - Brad Watson, Miami [[Special:Contributions/71.196.11.183|71.196.11.183]] 10:24, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

: I revised your addition — adding links to [[science]] and [[humanism]], but though he was clearly a humanist, he is probably not to be ranked as the most influential as yet, and many remain largely ignorant of the humanistic aspects of his personal philosophies. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 10:33, 3 October 2012 (UTC)
:: I'm not sure he was a humanist.  [http://www.humanism.org.uk/home The British Humanist Association] says that &quot;Humanists are atheists and agnostics&quot;.  Clearly, Einstein was neither.  He believed that God exists, as is shown by some of his most famous quotes, e.g. &quot;As I have said so many times, God doesn't play dice with the world.&quot;--[[User:Collingwood|Collingwood]] ([[User talk:Collingwood|talk]]) 12:07, 3 October 2012 (UTC)

::: I don't have an account or anything, but I wanted to comment on this. I can assure you that Einstein did not believe in, as he would have it, a &quot;personal God&quot;. I currently don't have the book on which I base my information, so can't refer you directly to any of his quotations on the matter, but will be able to do so in a matter of hours. I suggest looking the details up yourself in the meantime, but I think one can safely conclude that Einstein was a humanist, not believing in God in the traditional sense. I'll look up the quotations shortly that verify this if no one else gets round to it first.{{unsigned|130.159.104.12}} 

It's thoroughly misleading to describe Einstein as a Humanist: a) he never self-identified as a Humanist; b) in Einstein's day the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion'), so the term applied to Einstein is meaningless; c) his stated beliefs are not in accord with those of Humanism. Have a look at the Wikipedia pages on Einstein or his beleifs, compare the treatment Humanism gets there with prominence you're giving it here. Please revise your edit :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 13:58, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

: '''Einstein's stated beliefs were not only clearly in accord with [[Humanism]], in the most broad and honorable senses of the word''' (and not one used merely as a pejorative by those who would imply or insist its meaning should be restricted entirely to such ways as they or some other extremists for or against secular ways are inclined to use it), '''but he clearly embraced explicitly Humanistic endeavors of many sorts.''' You seem to strongly imply that &quot;Humanism&quot; currently has become an entirely &quot;secular&quot; stance and even go so far as to state that in Einstein's time &quot;the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion').&quot; I am very familiar with the fact that many individuals and groups tend to use the term &quot;Humanism&quot; derisively ''as if'' it were merely the worship of the Human in all its flaws and deficiencies ''rather'' than, or in exclusion to any worship of God or Divinity, or Truths beyond human knowledge, or acceptance of any sort of overt [[mysticism]] or spirituality, but it simple is ''not'' so. '''Humanism ultimately is and has long been a very large umbrella term which has long included many religious sectarians as well as secular adherents who might also identify as agnostic, atheist, or extremely variously in relation to various theistic or other religious traditions.''' Despite the efforts of some to constrain and restrict the term humanism and to use it as merely a synonym for &quot;secularism&quot; or even to make it a pejorative akin to ''faithless'' it is and ever has been a ''faith in humanity'' and the potentials of humanity to progress in affirmations of ethical values which  can either be based upon or contrasted with  those of various sectarian spiritual traditions. Though a ''faith'' in humanity, It is certainly not a mere ''worship'' of humanity — and especially not an exclusive or idolatrous worship of any human beings in any particular ideological states — such as many religious or political sectarians are often inclined towards, though they do not generally self-identify as either exclusionists or idolators. '''Ultimately humanism is based neither on secularism nor sectarianism and exists NOT in contrast to any specific or general spiritual traditions but in contrast to absolutist dogmatism or authoritarianism in any form, religious or political'''&lt;!-- , including those who would like to make many forms of either secularism or sectarianism seem entirely intolerable and even absolutely &quot;criminal&quot; or &quot;sinful&quot; because they do not accord entirely to their particular forms of secular or sectarian dispositions --&gt;. 

: '''I myself would go so far to say that not only Einstein and many scientists, but some of the greatest of religious leaders and mystics have actually been quite humanistic in much of their social orientation and aims, no matter how spartan or ascetic their own personal dispositions, nor what might be their particular stances on various theologies.''' Many people in many ages have embraced generally humanistic stances rather than emphatic about doctrinal particulars, no matter how much those who came after them (sometimes even ostensibly and ostentatiously acting in their name) might have developed all sorts of them, such as they never laid down or demanded. There is much more I could say on this matter, but I do not wish to get too elaborate in presenting my own personal views on matters, and thus have actually trimmed out some of my initial observations, but at any rate, '''I have already pointed out that Einstein was clearly and explicitly a supporter of such humanistic movements as the [[w:Ethical movement|Ethical Culture Society]], which was in many ways about specifically ''humanistic'' rather than doctrinally authoritarian as one could get, among those prominent in his time, in promoting diverse but unitive ''ethical'' imperatives and emphasizing beliefs that &quot;morality is independent of theology.&quot;''' This is actually fully in accord with what the current head of the Catholic Church, [[Pope Francis]] declared in May of last year: &quot;'''We all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards peace.  If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.'''&quot; &lt;br /&gt;  It is also fully in accord with what an extraordinary mystical and ethical genius known as [[Jesus]], defying and rejecting the overly strict and restrictive conventions of his time asserted, when among many other liberalizing and liberating statements, he declared that &quot;'''the Sabbath was made for man — and not man for the sabbath'''&quot; — and the same rational applies to nearly any and all spiritual traditions which have been devised as various forms of either development or hindrance of human potentials to appreciate the divine essence which truly abides WITHIN Humanity as well as BEYOND it. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 22:22, 17 February 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

::You're trying to define 'humanist' to suit your edit, and (with respect) the tone of your comment is new research/POV pushing. I don't agree that the word is justified and since you don't seem in a mood to compromise I think this should go to arbitration. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:18, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
::: You are quite mistaken. The initial addition of &quot;humanist&quot; to the page was not mine. You are attempting to restrict the definitions of humanist to only those which suit your limited conception of the term. I just happened to check in here again before leaving for at least a few hours, but will simply note that the [[w:Ethical movement|Ethical Culture Society]], which Einstein explicitly supported was part of one of the founding alliances of the wider [[w:International Humanist and Ethical Union |International Humanist and Ethical Union ]]. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:38, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
::: To quote the Wikipedia article the aforementioned  &quot;IHEU promotes Humanism, defined by the Amsterdam Declaration 2002, by advocating freedom of religion. Goals of the IHEU range from achieving worldwide separation of religion and state to providing assistance in establishing humanist youth organisations around the globe.&quot; ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:41, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
:::: Einstein served on the advisory board of the [[w:First Humanist Society of New York|First Humanist Society of New York]]. His name appears in Wikipedia's [[w:List of humanists|List of humanists]]. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:52, 20 February 2014 (UTC)

: Regarding the lettered points in HPotato's argument above (16 February 2014):
: a) ''he never self-identified as a Humanist'' –
:: This is simply false. His affiliation with humanist groups is described above and in Wikipedia at [[w:Religious views of Albert Einstein#Moral philosophy|Religious views of Albert Einstein#Moral philosophy]].
: b) ''in Einstein's day the Humanist movement did not exist in the form that it does today (i.e. that of a 'secular religion')'' –
:: This attempt at historical revisionism is meaningless. You cannot define the [[w:First Humanist Society of New York|First Humanist Society of New York]] or the [[w:British Humanist Association|British Humanist Association]] with which he was affiliated out of existence, nor wipe out centuries of humanist thought by claiming it did not exist.
: c) ''his stated beliefs are not in accord with those of Humanism'' –
:: I assume the use of a capital &quot;H&quot; (not capitalized in the article) here denotes some particular group or schism. This is like a Catholic saying Protestants are not &quot;true&quot; Christians (or the converse, since you are claiming primacy of a recent sect of humanists). Your opinion about the one true catechism of humanism is irrelevant. 
: This leaves only the question of ''prominence'' in the introduction. Given the large amount of public interest in Einstein's writings and opinions pertaining to this subject, and the large amount quoted in the article, mentioning his stance in the introduction is not undue emphasis. It is useful to introduce what the article contains. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 19:29, 28 February 2014 (UTC)
:: Thanks for the additional observations you have made, which are all clearly relevant. I had not bothered to go into direct rebuttal of all the points of HPotato's claims because I believed what evidence had been generally presented was simply sufficient to justify the designation of Einstein as a humanist. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 21:04, 28 February 2014 (UTC) + tweak
:::Sitting on the board of a group (which prominent people are asked to do all the time) does not make him a Humanist (or 'humanist' if you prefer). So it remains the case that he never self identified. I don't want to have an argument about the evolution of the Humanism, I'm perfectly happy with the facts about the FHS and Einstein's sitting on the board, and that they may have a place in the article, it's just that they don't make Einstein a Humanist. And my point about his views not being in accord with Humanism are the clincher. Your analogy does not hold - there is a common core running through Catholicism and Protestantism which identifies both as Christian, so my point is correct. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 09:31, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
::::I'm going to pursue this at wikipedia/Einstein's religious views, feel free to follow me there :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 10:12, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: '''I cannot genuinely wish you greater luck there, with your endeavors, but do hope you might gradually become more enlightened, with time.''' Your persistence in rejecting fairly strong and reasonable arguments and evidence against your insistence on what should be done by others, ''here'', does grow tiresome, but I fully recognize the fact that among some factions this can seem entirely admirable.
::::: Despite the observations you make against taking much of the evidence of his humanism which has been presented as credible enough for you, because perhaps he never said such words as &quot;I am a Humanist&quot;, I would point out that many who have been regarded and very ''rightly'' regarded as &quot;[[saints]]&quot; and &quot;[[heroes]]&quot; or &quot;great philosophers&quot; by many have never &quot;self-identified&quot; themselves as such, and many who would like to &quot;self-designate&quot; themselves as such clearly have done little or nothing to deserve such designations by the wise. Others might quite generally be recognized by many as &quot;cowards&quot; and &quot;villains&quot; or &quot;asinine fools&quot; or properly labelled with even cruder terms of vulgar distinction, which I will decline to specify at this point, and yet never &quot;self-identify&quot; by such terms, and often even seek to rebuke and severely punish those who would use them in ''any'' ways, while the most courageous of heroes and saints often patiently accept even the vilest of designations with a profound good humor and remain of general good will to all. '''Many throughout the ages, attempting to mark others in various ways, good or bad, or to deny many of the marks and qualities of others, mark themselves in far more ways than they know, as extreme fools and hypocrites. Some of the greatest of human beings and saints willingly play many of the roles of &quot;Fool&quot; — but none but the most foolish and vile willfully play the role of hypocrite, and all the wise seek to be fair with others, to the extent they can properly be so, without being even more unfair to others.'''
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Without &quot;ethical culture,&quot; there is no salvation for [[humanity]].'''
| author = [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ &quot;The Need for [[w:Ethical Culture|Ethical Culture]]&quot; (5 January 1951) 
}} 
::::: Probably when I was about 5 or 6 years old and beginning to actively and avidly discover the delights of dictionaries, encyclopedias, histories, philosophical works, art books, many diverse scriptures and texts of religions, sciences, psychology, and some forms of mathematics, '''I became ''especially'' fond of &quot;Quotation books&quot;''' as places where DIVERSE ideas were often presented in compact form, and one could decide to explore more fully many of the works of many authors based upon significant openings to their ideas, one quote by [[Thomas Carlyle]] stood out strongly to my young mind, and remains one of my favorites: '''No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness than disbelief in great men.'''
::::: '''What Carlyle declared of great men still holds true, in regard not only of great human beings, but of [[great]] [[ideas]] — such as those of [[humanism]], and humanistic good will, which Einstein clearly endorsed as an ''ethical'' fundamental, in his explicit and profuse praise of Ethical Culture.''' It manifests in humane, and universal and even ''[[universalist]]'' good will of many humanist groups today. I have no doubt that you can find fanatics and intolerant zealots even among those who would declare themselves &quot;Humanists&quot; — as one can among most of the greatest and worthiest human social, spiritual, religious and political traditions, but on the whole, most of these, and most forms of humanism direct human impulses AGAINST such ways, and toward courageous forms of humility, transcendence, and what toleration can be properly manifest towards those who remain ignorant and confused and even hostile to the noblest efforts of Humanity. ''So it goes…'' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:34, 1 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:::::: Thankyou for your kind wishes regarding my future increased enlightenment Kalki, I wish the same for you too. Part of being enlightened (as I understand Buddhism) is accepting the world the way it is, accepting for instance that supporting humanist organisations and making statements in support of humanist views is still not quite the same as [i]being a humaist[/i]. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 17:02, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: HPotato, is your fear that humanism implies atheism? ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 18:22, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: I certainly do not claim to know what HPotato's stances are, beyond a clear will to dispute Einstein being a humanist, and his having clearly treating humanistic efforts with great respect in various obvious ways. I tend to believe that there is much tendency to associate the word humanism with atheism, or at least some forms of agnosticism, and failure to realize that I believe most people would use it, it merely involves acceptance of the ''necessity'' of some people being atheists, and some agnostics, and some adherents of ''various'' traditional faiths for various reasons, often BOTH good AND bad ones, and a willingness to engage in dialogue, tolerance and growth in various forms of understanding, and rejection of many forms dangerously absolutist dogmatic exclusions. I actually am interested in understanding more of HPotato's perspectives, out of curiosity, but I have little doubt that I cannot be convinced that Einstein was not a humanist and should not be called that. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 18:53, 2 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
::::::::: My 'fear' is that the words 'was a humanist' don't express the truth. And my concern is that the facts being distorted (however slightly) is an attempt to add credibility to Humanism by humanists. Einstein, whose religious views were complex and ill defined, is regarded as one of the world's foremost geniuses, and therefore he's clearly a 'prize scalp' for any group or ideology that can associate their views with his. I don't have any gripe with Humanism per se, and I'm happy (since it's true) for his humanist sympathies to have their due weight in any relevant article. It's just that this slight distortion seems to me to be a deliberate case of shenanigans :). I'm happy to go into details about my own religious views as long as others do too. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 19:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::: I'm not actually sure that &quot;humanist&quot; should be in the intro. Should we also include that he was a socialist, pacifist, etc.? Maybe just &quot;physicist&quot; is enough. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 19:18, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
: I would like to point out that this entire section began in '''3 October 2012''', after an anon IP [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=1489318 simply added humanist rather crudely to the intro], so that it read &quot;one of the most influential scientists and humanists of all time&quot; — and I soon after, revised this rather sloppy addition as improper, and noted that with my first comments above. The addition of [[Humanist]] itself remained a relatively uncontroversial one for some time, until these recent comments. I do not believe it excessive or controversial at all to make note that he was a humanist any more than it would be to note the Pope is a Christian — the stances and activities throughout their lives testify to the validity of such assertions. Though he certainly favored forms of democratic socialism, he was not so active as socialist as he was a humanist and as a pacifist, though certainly not so totally passive as some might have wished, as his influence and that of [[Leó Szilárd]], who was another humanistic pacifist, helped initiate the [[w:Manhattan Project|Manhattan Project]], out of fear of [[Nazi]] Germany developing such weapons. '''What people CAN mean by many words can and DOES vary widely — and some of us have been acutely aware of that since infancy, but I again assert, to say that Einstein was a humanist is pretty much what many would call a &quot;no-brainer&quot; from my perspectives''' — and despite grammatical complications in word usage, I defer to common connotations, and do not mean to imply that one makes it without a brain, but that even most of those of relatively little knowledge can recognize it, with little more difficulty than the most well informed would.  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:: I don't agree with any wording anywhere that says 'was a humanist' unless we can find a reliable source that says so, for the reasons stated above, i.e. that it's not strictly true and quite possibly an attempt to gain credibility. I'm perfectly happy for any discussion about sympathies/parallels in views, support of groups etc to have their proper and due weight. This I think is fair and balanced. I'd be perfectly happy with a wording like 'Although he never self-identified as a humanist, he did etc etc'. This seems to me to be accurate, fair and non-contentious. I've now had time to read more about Humanism, and it has evolved quite significantly from Einstein's day (when it was headed by a Unitarian) to the present day when it's explicitly areligious, which I think only confirms my earlier remark about it having changed and therefore the assertion being even more misleading. And I'm sorry to descend to name calling, Kalki, but your hand waving about the conclusion being obvious only adds weight to the assertion being new research. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 20:31, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::: Though I can appreciate some of your perspectives, I really perceive your logic to be deficient and flawed in more ways than I care to immediately specify. To assert that to declare Einstein a humanist amounts to &quot;new research&quot; is particularly lame. But I am finishing up on a few other things here, and will be leaving soon, and might not have much time for further dialogue for a few hours, at least. ''[[Blessings]]''. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:40, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Sources stating Einstein was a humanist: [http://books.google.pt/books?id=SwdSAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+is+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+is+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=85cTU5aOGZCihgfOu4GwBQ&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwAA] (1930); [http://books.google.pt/books?id=J6RZAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oJcTU6CdCIKUhQe3poDIBQ&amp;ved=0CEcQ6AEwBDgK] (1957); [http://books.google.pt/books?id=yAAoAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;dq=%22einstein+was+a+humanist%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oJcTU6CdCIKUhQe3poDIBQ&amp;ved=0CDQQ6AEwATgK] (1980 – &quot;in the widest sense of the word&quot;). ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 20:44, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: Nice work :) How do you propose to word it? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 21:01, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::: My proposal would be to follow Wikipedia and only state in the lede that Einstein was a physicist, though I would let the humanist category remain. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 21:12, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: I agree about the lede, and now my objection looks a lot less sound with reliable commentators describing him as a humanist. How about 'Was involved in the early Humanist movement in NY' which is vague, but still true, and potentially sounds stronger to reflect the published opinions? Or it could be time for me to butt out :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 22:29, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
: Though I did not add it, originally, I do not agree with any suggestion of now removing the term humanist which clearly represents his general ethical stance and philosophical disposition, as evidenced by many of the quotes on the page, but I added the ethnic identity as a [[Jew]] which he embraced to that ethical designation so it now reads: &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, which I believe is a good summary. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 05:08, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:: That just looks worse, Kalki, IMHO. I agree with Daniel, that nothing except 'theoretical physicist' should go in the lede (a lot of physicists go beserk when anyone desrcribes him as an experimentalist). I will, when I have time try to come up with an intro to the humanist bit which hopefully expresses the strength of his agreement with its philosophy without giving the impression he self-identified, which I still say is wrong. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 07:24, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::: I think, although still mildly contentious, for the sake of argument it's probably ok to leave him in the list of humanists. [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 07:36, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; is not good – makes it sound as if he was part of some never-heard-of tradition. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 07:59, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::  [[File:Don't panic.svg|42px]] A short while ago, I woke up from a much needed sleep, and now must confess I have [[laughed]] a bit on reading some of these assertions. '''Pardon my levity, but I, like most [[absurdists]], can have extreme reserve and skepticism about taking many words, labels, and how people often use them too rigorously and narrowly, very seriously.'''
::::: When I made the alteration, I almost used the term &quot;'''[[w:Humanistic Judaism|humanistic Jew]]'''&quot; but realized that phrase might prompt further confusion with more modern and specific forms of humanism which use such labels, but the assertion that &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; might indicate &quot;some never-heard-of tradition&quot; did ''amuse'' me. The current Wikipedia uses a common phrase in stating that he was born to a family of &quot;non-observant Jews&quot;, and I just came across fairly interesting articles in googling''' ''&quot;Jewish humanist&quot; Einstein''''':

:::::* Einstein's Jewish background and upbringing were significant to him, and his Jewish identity was strong, increasingly so as he grew older. The simple appellation &quot;[[agnostic]]&quot; may not be entirely accurate, given his many expressions of belief in a [[Spinozan]] concept of [[Deity]]. '''Certainly the adult Einstein was not a kosher-keeping, synagogue-attending traditional adherent of Judaism. But it is accurate enough to call his religious affiliation &quot;Jewish,&quot; with the understanding of the variety encompassed by such a label.'''
::::::* [http://www.adherents.com/people/pe/Albert_Einstein.html &quot;The Religious Background and Religious Beliefs of Albert Einstein&quot; at Adherents.com]

:::::* Spinoza’s critical assessment of Judaism and revolutionary conception of God influenced one of the most influential figures in modern history, '''the great Jewish humanist Albert Einstein.''' Einstein revered Spinoza’s philosophy and adopted his conception of God. 
::::::* [http://www.csjo.org/resources/essays/spinoza-the-first-secular-jew-by-bennett-muraskin/ &quot;Spinoza: The First Secular Jew?&quot; by Bennett Muraskin]

::::: '''There is much more support to be found for such relatively simple a designation as &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, which I do not believe to be extraordinarily imaginative at all.''' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 11:21, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:::::: Maybe you can find one or two publications that call Einstein a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;, but these are very rare, and Wikiquote is not a playground for experiments, or to see what you can get away with – the intro should only contain a short, ''indisputable'' description of, and preferably ''widely attributed'' to, the subject. This, I would submit, is all the more true for Einstein, as his WQ article is one of our most viewed pages. I'm glad I could make you laugh, though... ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 11:56, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: The major thrust of the points I was trying to make, in quoting these 2 particular articles, is that &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; is NOT a rare or unheard of designation among either Jews or humanists, and certainly is an accurate one to summarize and specify some of Einstein's views, more so than either &quot;Jew&quot; or &quot;humanist&quot; alone would be. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:07, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: You only provided ''one'' essay where Einstein is called a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;. I looked on Google Books, and could only find one or two examples of such a designation of Einstein, and find such a label—at least potentially—deceiving. Of course if you could show me that this is actually a common scholarly description of him, I would change my mind. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:17, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::::: He was notable as a scientist, not a cleric or theologian, I think that settles the issue of the lede, or am I being too presumptious? His views we can treat elsewhere giving proper weight to his involvement and sympathy for Humanism. I can't see how there can be much dispute about this. :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:27, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::: Other than E = mc², you will find that most notable quotes by Einstein are actually humanistic, and not scientific in nature. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 12:30, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::::::: Ninguable made similar observations elsewhere, I believe, and I was going to extend on these, but your summation is accurate, and I believe is one reason &quot;humanist&quot; should be retained in the intro, and why I never considered removing it, once it was added, though I did move it, so as to not remain part of an inaccurate assertion. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 12:47, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Oh dear... :). [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 12:53, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::::::: Ok guys. Please tell me how we square this, from here https://humanism.org.uk/humanism/ :
&quot;Throughout recorded history there have been non-religious people who have believed that this life is the only life we have, that the universe is '''a natural phenomenon with no supernatural side''', and that we can live ethical and fulfilling lives on the basis of reason and humanity. They have trusted to the scientific method, evidence, and reason to discover truths about the universe and have placed human welfare and happiness at the centre of their ethical decision making.&quot;
with this, from here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_of_Albert_Einstein#Moral_philosophy :
&quot;'''A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate''', of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms—it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.&quot; [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 17:48, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
==== OK ====

Oh, well.… pardon my interest in sometimes making extensive elaborations and expositions, of ideas which I perceive to be relevant, even though I know might weary many others, but you ''did'' actually ask.… :) …

'''Remember the [[w:Butterfly Effect|Butterfly Effect]] … and BE [[Awareness|AWARE]], and sometimes BEWARE … but EVER and always BE AWARE'''… 

{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Tree of Life 2009 large.png|292px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt; --&gt;  [[File:Sahasrara.svg|23px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:LuMaxArt Golden Family With World Religions .jpg|123px]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt;[[File:Yyjpg.svg|23px]] --&gt; &lt;p&gt; We [[prove]] what we want to prove, and the [[real]] difficulty is to [[know]] what we want to prove.
| author = Émile Chartier
}}&lt;br /&gt; [[File:RaisingNoodlesLogo.png|44px]]&lt;!--  &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]  --&gt; 
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|258px]]
|}

'''This was the Quote of the Day for today''', which I actually decided to use and illustrate as I did, based partly on some of the discussions here, was one which I long admired by a teacher of a mystic philosopher I have long admired — [[Simone Weil]], who in turn inspired a far more widely appreciated [[absurdist]] philosopher I have long admired, [[Albert Camus]]. My esteem for some of what they said as well as MANY other philosophers, including [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]], who was also a modern philosopher who I was profoundly inspired by, almost certainly dates to when I was 5 or 6 years old, but it was later when I was at least 7 or nearly 8 when much more of their thought patterns and of their meanings became more clear to me. Certainly, by the time I was 10, I was quite enamored of many of the insights of absurdism, which Camus developed, and more general forms of [[Existentialism]] which have been developed by many figures, perhaps most notably [[Søren Kierkegaard]]. I also developed and retain a high regard for MANY other modern and ancient philosophers, even many of those relatively obscure to most; so even this brief summary indicates I have definitely had rather unusual perspectives from a relatively early age. 

That quote INDICATES much about the capacities and limitations of human thought in MANY realms of exploration and investigation, and the often bewildering mass of designations which can develop — and it often takes rigorous [[semiotic]] and rational analysis to unravel, and clarify, and where this is possible at all, one can usually do it far better with a broad range of cultural, social, sociological and psychological insights that ever welcome expansion, than from narrow, very fixed, limited and rigid stand points.

ONE great quotation I have long admired, which was among the ''many'' others I considered for the day, was one by [[Alexander Graham Bell]]: &quot;'''Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.'''&quot;

One thing I would like to emphasize which goes unstated or ignored or overlooked in this great statement, is that one must often have a broad range of knowledge and experience and awareness and appreciation of diverse forms of context, to bring things into intense focus — and '''the broader and more expansive the ranges or &quot;lens&quot; of one's awareness, the more powerful the &quot;energies&quot; and &quot;thoughts&quot; which one can focus.'''

'''I appreciate MUCH of the worth and limitations of MANY diverse assessments of BOTH [[monistic]] and [[pluralistic]] tendencies in human thought, and recognize that they can produce diverse and even unique forms of mystical, ethical and rationalist systems.'''
 
As a person inclined to various forms of thought and exploration which might be labeled types of &quot;absurdist universalist mysticism&quot;, (or many other such evocative terms which I KNOW can be puzzling to others, and can eagerly accept many that are even rather silly, as an antidote to many forms of silly pretentions), I accept and sometimes advocate a rather diverse &quot;polyphonic&quot; reverence for many aspects of the &quot;Omnipresent Monad&quot; by many diverse names, and notions.

I recognize MANY forms of extremely absurd and yet extremely strong perceptions, in many of the political, religious, social an spiritual traditions many people embrace, as well as the extremely wise, but sometimes relatively fragile or vulnerable ones, '''I am quite aware there are MANY ways to characterize and label human attitudes and assertions which are not apparently consistent and even contradictory — including MANY which set up DEFICIENT, FLAWED, or FALSE dichotomies, which can lead to even further false assumptions.''' As someone who has personally long recognized MANY forms of the virtues and values of MANY forms of philosophy, spirituality and religions, including systems of humanism, as well as more traditional systems of rational, ethical or mystical faiths and practices, I realized very young that there ARE limits on the appreciations of many diverse ways which others can have, and there are many people who one could call humanists, or by any of the more commonly recognized traditions of social, religious, political or economic philosophy who would insist that many forms of rational reconciliation or even dialogue with people of other traditions is [[anathema]] to various notions of rational, ethical, or mystical integrity. 

I am such a [[fool]], as has recognized that there is a VITAL NEED to see BEYOND all our designations and even in childhood recognized many rational, ethical and mystical methods and systems which were beneficial to such aims, and that these existed largely independent of the labels by which people sought to distinguish and differentiate themselves and many of their particular ways from others. Early on, even by the age of 5 or 6, I greatly appreciated and was VERY impressed by the thoughts and ideas of [[G. I. Gurdjieff]], among many others, and certain ideas and attitudes of the [[Quakers]], [[Unitarians]], [[Universalists]], and proponents of [[Vedanta]] [[monism]].

'''I was not actually &quot;trained&quot; to explore philosophies or believe as I did by any adults seeking to indoctrinate me in any particular system of philosophy, science or spirituality — I often amazed them with the extent of my knowledge and explorations, and though some helped and hindered me in various ways, I was largely self-driven in my explorations, and I actively avoided many forms of &quot;training&quot; I considered merely &quot;taming&quot; and which I realized often consisted primarily of EXCLUDING many forms of thought and ideas.''' I saw that MANY in various traditions were TRAINED to reject MUCH that was plainly GOOD and WORTHY in others ways, primarily because it was not what they were ''taught'', and to accept MUCH that was vile and even evil, because it was taught as the &quot;norm&quot; or even the &quot;ideal&quot; — and the examples of this I or nearly anyone else can give are numerous. '''Having already made quite extensive comments, I will simply end by saying, in summary — I believe, like many others, and unlike many others, that Mystical, Ethical and Rational views can all be reconciled, in many diverse and beautiful ways, and am often interested in finding ways to do so... and among these are ''many'' forms of [[humanism]], many forms of [[mysticism]] and many systems of [[ethics]] and [[rationality]] which can share much in common, yet harmoniously differ in regard to many diverse aspects of belief. ''So it goes''… '''  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 19:44, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

: I appreciate your generosity in sharing your insights with me, Kalki, and your phrase 'narrow, very fixed, limited and rigid stand points.' is entirely justified since I did study Maths. And I accept from your heartfelt use of the term 'mystical' that you are not a damnable atheistic humanist engaged in surrilous POV pushing. That said, except by a vague reference to semiotic analysis, you haven't actually answered the question. :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 20:07, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:: There was a slight edit conflict, and I had actually realized there were many specifications in my thoughts which I had not elaborated upon in the typing, in my rush to finish up, and had already prepared to tweak the above statements as I do now. But to summarize again, though many would seek to insist otherwise, I perceive no innate conflict in the ethics of humanism and many diverse forms of mysticism, and as someone with &quot;universalist&quot; perspectives which I know many others cannot share, believe there can be ''many'' worthy forms of reconciliation of sciences with religions and even many forms of atheism and agnosticism with many forms of theism. [[Simone Weil]], made quite significant statements on this subject, as did her teacher [[Émile Chartier]] — and many others. ''[[Blessings]]'' ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 20:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
::: This is all fine, but to be ''Mathematical'' about this, all of the Humanist stuff is fine, and just etc, but Daniel's comments re humanist quotes still don't cut it, and 'humanist' in the lede is not justified, on prominence as well as accuracy, so without some movement from ''you'', Kalki (I've conceded it's fine to stay in 'List of humanists', I think we should go to arbitration. Is that ok? :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 22:02, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: It is quite common, in our brief intros to state some ethnic info and religious or philosophical affiliations, though certainly not required. So far, humanism has been in the intro since 3 October 2012, when posted by an anon IP, in a way I soon amended, but saw no reason to remove, and there had been little dispute on the matter, despite it being one of our most visited and edited articles, until you posted objections to it here, and at the Village Pump, and received responses thus far from me and Ningauble, who both seem to favor its retention, as appropriate, and from DanielTom, who has wavered, and I am not sure what he favors at this point. I don't really perceive this as a crisis requiring arbitration. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 23:01, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::::: Einstein believed in Spinoza's God. Is this incompatible with humanism? Depends on the definition. Cowardly modern atheists seem to have hijacked the word to describe themselves (calling yourself a &quot;humanist&quot; sounds better than &quot;atheist&quot;, at least in the USA), so it (&quot;humanism&quot;) is now viewed by many as a synonym for atheism. This is unfortunate, but true nonetheless for many modern readers, and I think we need to be sensible to this. Besides, I don't think it is our business to ascribe ideological positions to others based on our own interpretations of their sayings. I am reminded of the French rhetorical author whose opponents insisted was actually a realist based on his writings, though he himself resisted such labels. I do think that a third (maybe [[User:BD2412|a fourth]]) voice would be helpful to settle this issue. My position hasn't &quot;wavered&quot;, Kalki, I still believe that we should follow WP's lede – include &quot;physicist&quot;, but leave out other more controversial (and less attested to) labels. I do share the concern that calling Einstein a &quot;humanist&quot; ''today'' could be potentially deceiving. &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; even more so. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 23:26, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::: My general preference is to have our ledes mirror, in an abbreviated manner, Wikipedia's ledes. We are a sister project, and our purpose is to convey quotes, not provide an encyclopedia entry. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 05:13, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
::::::: I'm also happy, since it's descending to nit-picking, not to argue with 'was a humanist' in the body, as long as the paragraph is suitably accurate otherwise. I hope this meets with your approval, Kalki :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 09:32, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
:::::::: To DanielTom‎: I concede I was somewhat sloppy in my earlier expression yesterday, and should have been more cautious in the wording of my statement, and only said &quot;''seems'' to have wavered&quot; because, given your assertions, ''I'' was not actually sure what your positions were at some points, and thus not sure how much they might have changed, or ''not''. As to your assertion that calling Einstein a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; &quot;could be potentially deceiving&quot; I can concede that as well, because as a rather acutely observant absurdist, I KNOW that '''ALL [[words]] are &quot;potentially deceiving&quot; in many diverse ways.''' I am usually very cautious in using words, to the extent I can be, and can assert that taking ANY words AS IF they were absolutely reliable means of conveying some range of meaning or truth and ONLY that, without any taint of error, or the means for actual and potential false associations, is extremely deceiving. All words are INDICATIONS, and usually carry MANY forms of subtle or overtly manifest connotations and associations and meanings beyond the ranges of their primary intended meanings. All that being said, even if things do eventually go against retaining the current wording, '''I still do not find the simple designation of Einstein as a &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; as something either controversial or excessive''', and certainly not something ''false'', save to those relative few who wrongly ''equate'' humanism with atheism, rather than with ''[[Reason|reasonableness]]'' about a ''broad'' range of ''[[beliefs]]'' and ''differences'' of [[thought]] and [[opinions]] among human beings (and not only regarding disputes about theologies and types of atheism or agnosticism). '''I certainly believe it ''should'' stay, but am not all that ''concerned'' about whether it stays or not.''' I do tend to believe that '''if people have so narrow and limited an awareness as to believe or insist that &quot;humanist&quot; simply equates to &quot;athiest&quot; they should definitely be disabused of such ignorance and confusion, as swiftly as possible.''' The designation has existed on a very well visited page for well over a year, and I would not personally remove it, but if enough people, who for some reason find the relatively simple and honest statement so &quot;controversial&quot; as to decide to remove it, do so, I am certainly not going to get into an edit war about so relatively minor a matter. There are certainly many other issues here which concern me far more. To close, I would simply state my firm '''''belief''''' that '''whatever anyone's particular notions about the [[worth]], or lack of it, related to ANY of the quite ''various'' notions of [[God]] or [[Reality]], it is a person's forms and levels of [[Honesty]], [[Compassion]], [[Humility]], and [[Courage]] which ultimately matter most in determining their character and their fortunes — and these are certainly neither exclusive to any particular traditions of faith or reason, NOR guaranteed by them — nor by any labels that might be applied or misapplied to them.''' ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Awareness|it]] [[Eternity|goes]]''… &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Necessity|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]] … ''[[Blessings]]''. &lt;/big&gt; ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 15:44, 4 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

=== improper removal of &quot;Jewish humanist&quot; ===
:: As I said above, I have no intentions of personally getting into an edit war on the matter, but I strongly believe that with the only people presently involved in the recent discussions thus far apparently in a deadlock of 2 for &quot;humanist&quot; in the intro and 2 against, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Einstein&amp;curid=2&amp;diff=1690851&amp;oldid=1690368 the removal of &quot;Jewish humanist&quot;] by HPotato with the comment &quot;consensus against humanist in lead&quot; to be somewhat presumptuous, and premature. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 15:07, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
:: I had forgotten that BD2412 had made some remarks favoring brevity in the intro, which had since 2012 included &quot;humanist&quot; and had, with my addition of the word &quot;Jewish&quot; read: 
: '''[[w:Albert Einstein|Albert Einstein]]''' ([[14 March]] [[1879]] – [[18 April]] [[1955]]) was a theoretical [[w:physicist|physicist]] and [[Jewish]] [[Humanism|humanist]] who is widely regarded as one of the most influential [[Science|scientists]] of all time. He is most famous for his [[w:Theory of relativity|Special and General Theories of Relativity]], but contributed in other areas of physics. He won the [[w:Nobel Prize|Nobel Prize]] in physics for his explanation of the [[w:photoelectric effect|photoelectric effect]]. 
:: I believe this is quite brief enough without removing significant ethnic info &quot;Jewish&quot;, and the single word &quot;humanist&quot; which quite accurately summarizes his general ''ethical'' disposition, to ''reasonableness'' about ''human'' concerns, rather than ''extremism'' and ''intolerance'' based on particular forms of ideological dogma — be they ''labelled'' religious or political. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 16:13, 5 March 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
:: He's notable as a scientist mainly. And regardless of his many spiritual remarks, he's very well known for 'God doesn't play dice.' Which really clashes with Humanism (at least my simplistic view of it). As to 'Jewish' - he's only really known for that ethnically as far as I can tell (I'm not really in any position to judge how Judaism informs his quotes). Perhaps we can have editors with knowledge in this area comment? Although just on aesthetics alone, it was starting to look clumsy I thought. And as Daniel said, 'Jewish humanist' isn't really a widely understood designation. We have (or can have) both the fact that he was Jewish in the body, ditto humanist. If they're appropriate combined as 'Jewish humanist', can't we have that in the body? Can you make a case for it in the lede? Can you make a case (firstly in the body) that it informs his quotes in any way? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:03, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: Ok, I see that you just have above - sorry, jumping in without reading everything. Let me think about this :) [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:07, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: At first glance, I like the substance of what you've said above, although I don't believe it belongs in the lede. It would make a great summary somewhere in the body though. What about that? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:09, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Or a second paragraph in the lede, since there isn't really a body as such. Still too specific/dubious for the first sentence though, I think. That's my 2p [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 08:15, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
::: In &quot;God doesn't play dice&quot;, ''God'' is being used as a metaphor for the ''laws of nature''. You can't infer from that alone that Einstein believed in God, any more than you could infer that Stephen Hawking believes in God just because he says &quot;God not only plays dice, He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.&quot; (And Hawking is an atheist.) ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 08:48, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
:::: Fair enough :). Does 'Jewish humanist' merit a second sentence in the lede, do you think? [[User:HPotato|HPotato]] ([[User talk:HPotato|talk]]) 00:01, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

== Quotes about Einstein ==

* Stop telling God what to do!
** [[Niels Bohr]], replying to Einstein's assertion that &quot;God doesn't play dice&quot;, as quoted in Carl Sagan, ''Broca's Brain: The Romance of Science'' (1979).

Would it be appropriate to add those lines to the ''Quotes about Einstein'' section? Thanks.

[[User:Daniel Tomé|Daniel Tomé]] ([[User talk:Daniel Tomé|talk]]) 7:59, 16 October 2012 (GMT)

* Yes, but according to the Bohr page the origin of the quote is disputed.--[[User:Collingwood|Collingwood]] ([[User talk:Collingwood|talk]]) 19:56, 16 October 2012 (UTC)
* I wouldn't. Apart from the questionable veracity of the attribution, adding a lot of &quot;dialogue with&quot; under &quot;quotes about&quot; would make the article more unwieldy than it already is. Quite a lot of people have commented on God playing dice, and some of them might be included in the [[Quantum mechanics]] article. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 15:29, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

== You never fail until you stop trying ==

Saw this in an infographic. [https://www.google.com/search?q=You+never+fail+until+you+stop+trying It's all over the web], but I haven't seen it attested anywhere. Probably New Age misattribution gibberish, but I figured I'd start the conversation here. --[[User:EvanProdromou|EvanProdromou]] ([[User talk:EvanProdromou|talk]]) 20:48, 9 December 2012 (UTC)

:Looks like there's a book with the same title from 2001: http://books.google.ca/books/about/You_never_fail_until_you_stop_trying.html?id=5_5JAAAAYAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y . --[[User:EvanProdromou|EvanProdromou]] ([[User talk:EvanProdromou|talk]]) 20:50, 9 December 2012 (UTC)

== Spurious Einstein quote ==

“It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.”
The above is quoted by many Internet sources as being attributed to Albert Einstein, but I can find no source, and suspect that it may be spurious. Can anyone help? Thanks  lrfsci

:This is from a remembrance of Einstein by Frau Hedwig Born, wife of [[w:Max Born|Max Born]], that was originally published just after Einstein's death in 1955. 

:In German, from [http://www.weltwoche.ch/ausgaben/2003-47/artikel-2003-47-einstein-ganz-pr.html this page]:

:&lt;blockquote&gt;Ist wohl nicht verwunderlich, dass gerade er mir half, mich unter den «objektiven» Naturwissenschaftern nicht mehr wie auf eine eisige Mondlandschaft verschlagen zu fühlen. Um mich herum stürmte die moderne Physik vorwärts – hier allein gab es «objektive Wahrheit», die mir unglücklicherweise nichts bedeutete, und alles Menschliche würde womöglich bald in naturwissenschaftlichen Ausdrücken beschrieben werden können. Da fragte ich Einstein einmal: «Ja, glauben Sie denn, dass sich einfach alles auf naturwissenschaftliche Weise wird abbilden lassen können?!» «Ja», meinte er, «das ist denkbar, aber es hätte doch keinen Sinn. Es wäre eine Abbildung mit inadäquaten Mitteln, so als ob man eine Beethoven-Symphonie als Luftdruckkurve darstellte.» Das war tröstlich.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:Here's an English translation from ''Einstein: The Life and Times'', by Ronald Clark, [http://books.google.com/books?id=gchgl_XLqI0C&amp;pg=PT284&amp;dq=%22probably+not+surprising%22 p. 243]:

:&lt;blockquote&gt;It is probably not surprising that it was he who helped me to be an objective scientist, and to avoid feeling that the whole thing was impersonal. Modern physics left me standing. Here was only objective truth, which unhappily meant nothing to me, and perhaps the possibility that in the future everything would be expressed scientifically. So I asked Einstein one day, &quot;Do you believe that absolutely everything can be expressed scientifically?&quot; &quot;Yes,&quot; he replied, &quot;it would be possible, but it would make no sense. It would be description without meaning—as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.&quot; This was a great solace to me.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:—[[User:KHirsch|KHirsch]] ([[User talk:KHirsch|talk]]) 13:34, 18 December 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much. lrfsci 19 December 2012

:: I have to disagree that ''&quot;Es wäre eine Abbildung mit inadäquaten Mitteln&quot;'' can be fairly translated as ''&quot;It would be description without meaning&quot;''. A far more accurate translation would be ''&quot;It would be an inadequate description&quot;'', hence an '''incomplete''', not a '''meaningless''' description.
::: [[User:Mojowiha|Mojowiha]] ([[User talk:Mojowiha|talk]]) 11:55, 3 November 2014 (UTC)

== Nothing happens until something moves ==

I'm seeing a quote attributed to Einstein, &quot;Nothing happens until something moves.&quot;  Alternately, &quot;In life, ...&quot;  Should it be added to the dubious quotes section? --[[User:Suttkus|Suttkus]] ([[User talk:Suttkus|talk]]) 17:36, 25 January 2013 (UTC)
: just like one moves in mind &amp; physical sports, the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and that the speed of light in a vacuum was independent of the motion of all observers. Some people think they are above the basic laws of physix that what goes around does not come around, that for every action there is no counter reaction even if it's delayed!!![[Special:Contributions/45.243.33.223|45.243.33.223]] 22:17, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

== Dance ==
I have seen this dance quote attributed to Einstein (all over the internet, like [http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/97111-we-dance-for-laughter-we-dance-for-tears-we-dance goodreads]); Is this an authentic quote? If yes, do we know the source?&lt;br /&gt;

''&quot;We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams&quot;''&lt;br /&gt;
--[[User:Chughtai|Chughtai]] ([[User talk:Chughtai|talk]]) 00:03, 14 March 2013 (UTC)
:Yeah, seems to be going viral.  You can even get it on a t-shirt.  I've looked through google scholar and books and my conclusion is that it's a bogus quote; the only instances are recent, and attribute it to Anonymous.  The many web references are all unreliable, and by contrast, there are a great deal of reliable sources for Einstein quotes.    --[[User:Elvey|Elvey]] ([[User talk:Elvey|talk]]) 15:56, 3 April 2013 (UTC)
:Another one is &quot;Dancers are the athletes of God.&quot;  I didn't look into it as thoroughly, but I'd bet it's of a piece. I searched a couple biographies, and found mention him dancing, and it doesn't match his personality at all; I'd be astonished to hear that he was a dance devotee.--[[User:Elvey|Elvey]] ([[User talk:Elvey|talk]]) 15:56, 3 April 2013 (UTC)

== theory and practice ==

Those 2 quotes are often attributed to Einstein on the internet

*&quot;In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, theory and practice are different.&quot;
*&quot;Theory is when you know all and nothing works. Practice is when all works and nobody knows why. In this case we have put together theory and practice: nothing works... and nobody knows why! &quot; 

Could not find any source... Should they be added to misattributed ?

[[User:Goulu|Goulu]] ([[User talk:Goulu|talk]]) 08:40, 21 May 2013 (UTC)

== &quot;Play is the highest form of research&quot; ==

Apparently this has been attributed to Einstein since the 70s, but mostly since the 90s.  See this: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22Play+is+the+highest+form+of+research%22&amp;btnG=Search+Books&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbo=1#q=%22Play+is+the+highest+form+of+research%22&amp;start=20&amp;tbm=bks&amp;tbs=sbd:1

== Source for quotation? ==

Can anyone find a source for the Einstein &quot;quote&quot; about knowing the location of the library? It certainly sounds like he might have said it, but I cannot find a source to verify it.

In various places it appears as: “The only thing that you absolutely have to know, is the location of the library.”

(http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/277400-the-only-thing-that-you-absolutely-have-to-know-is)

(http://www.inkwellmag.com/post/33649146222/my-15-favourite-quotes-on-libraries-it-was-good)

(http://www.skipprichard.com/quotes/the-only-thing-you-absolutely-have-to-know-is-the-location-of-the-library-albert-einstein/)

I suspect that it is NOT an Einstein quote because even though English may not be his native language, he would not put a comma between the subject and the predicate of a sentence.

Thanks!

[[User:Westley Turner|Westley Turner]] ([[User talk:Westley Turner|talk]]) 18:02, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

: Another made-up quote (mis)attributed to Einstein. (People come up with these and then often attribute them to &quot;Einstein&quot;, and they spread like wildfire.) This one in particular doesn't appear in any published work (zero GoogleBooks hits), and as far as I can tell Einstein never did say anything similar to this about libraries, either in German or in English. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 18:13, 15 March 2014 (UTC)

::In Albert Einstein's &quot;The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein: The early years, 1879-1902&quot;, Volume 1, Page 163, there's a library quote:
:::But now I must be off to the library, otherwise it will be getting too late.
::I'm trying to find variations of it but the most promising finds in Google Books are not snippeted. &quot;3-Minute Einstein: Digesting His Life, Theories and Influence in 3-Minute Morsels&quot;
::[[User:Thecurran|Thecurran]] ([[User talk:Thecurran|talk]]) 06:04, 27 August 2014 (UTC)

== Nature did not deem it her business ... ==

Hi, in my coy of March 2014 Scientific American, this quote is listed towards the end of the article on page 25:
''&quot;Nature did not deem it her business to make the discovery of her laws easy for us - Albert Einstein&quot;''. This quote doesn't appear on this page when I tried to search for it. Is it a misattribution by SciAm or can I go ahead and add it? [[User:AadaamS|AadaamS]] ([[User talk:AadaamS|talk]]) 08:56, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

'''Reply:'''

Hi. This comes from a letter by Einstein to Erwin Freundlich, dated 1 September 1911, where he says: &quot;''Aber die Natur hat es sich nicht angelegen sein lassen, uns die Aufﬁndung ihrer Gesetze bequem zu machen.''&quot; [http://alberteinstein.info/vufind1/images/einstein/ear01/view/1/11-199.10_000011868.pdf]

If you want to add it to the article, I suggest something like this:

* ''Die Natur hat es sich nicht angelegen sein lassen, uns die Aufﬁndung ihrer Gesetze bequem zu machen.''
** '''Nature did not deem it her business to make the identification of her laws comfortable for us.'''
** Einstein to [[w:Erwin Finlay-Freundlich|Freundlich]], 1 September 1911. ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol. 5, Doc. 281. Reported in ''Revisiting the Foundations of Relativistic Physics'' (Kluwer Academic Publishers, 2003), p. 81.

Cheers. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 09:43, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

== Einstein's 'No problem' quote out of context ==

&quot;No problem can be solved by the same KIND OF THINKING that created it.&quot; is the correct unadulterated quote from Albert Einstein The quote is about the null result of the Michaelson-Moreley experiment.

'No problem' (such as the null result of the Michaelson-Moreley experiment) 'can be solved' (understood) 'by the same' (re-application of the principles) 'kind of thinking that created it'.  In this context, the quote makes perfect sense, but changing &quot;kind of thinking&quot; to &quot;level of consciousness&quot; changes the meaning entirely, or at best makes the original meaning close to incomprehensible.

I've read a lot of Albert Einstiein's original writings on a lot of different subjects over a lifetime, much of it in his original German.  I'm sure I never saw him use the German equivalent of: &quot;level of consciousness&quot; in any context, on any subject.

The fact that this misquote seems to have been promulgated in hundreds of volumes and in possibly thousands of places on the Internet since about 2002 does not impress. [[User:Danshawen|Danshawen]] ([[User talk:Danshawen|talk]]) 12:31, 31 March 2014 (UTC)danshawen

== Quoted by Timothy Ferris ==

I have removed the following item that was added to the article by [[User:Wiki Wisdom|Wiki Wisdom]]:
:* What I see in nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of ‘humility.’ This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism. . . . My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. . . . I want to know how God created this world. I want to know his thoughts, the rest are details.
:** Quoted by [[Timothy Ferris]], in his article “The Other Einstein”, ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1/22 1992.
This misattribution is a complete mashup, combining material from three entirely different sources:
# ''&quot;What I see in nature&quot;'' is from a draft of a letter found in his personal papers and reported in Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffmann, ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives'' (1979). It already appears in the article section on that book.
# ''&quot;My religiosity consists in...&quot;'' is from a note written on a letter he received, found in his personal papers and reported in Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffmann, ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives'' (1979). It already appears in the article section on that book.
# ''&quot;I want to know how...&quot;'' is from Esther Salman, &quot;A Talk with Einstein&quot;, ''The Listener'', British Broadcasting Corporation, Vol. 54 (1955), p. 370–371. It is a misquotation because it omits a significant portion from the middle of the passage indicating what kind of details he refers to. A correct version of this appears in the article section on Max Jammer , ''Einstein and Religion'' (1999).
I urge contributors to be more careful to avoid introducing bogus and false information into Wikiquote articles. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 15:31, 19 July 2014 (UTC)

But the Timothy Ferri's quote about Einstein is false in his article? are not Eintein's words? How can you know it? Is timothy ferris lying? --[[User:Wiki Wisdom|Wiki Wisdom]] ([[User talk:Wiki Wisdom|talk]]) 22:48, 19 July 2014 (UTC)
: The article &quot;The Other Einstein&quot; by [[w:Timothy Ferris|Timothy Ferris]] appeared in ''[[w:Science (journal)|Science]]'', Vol. 83 (October 1983), a peer reviewed journal of the first rank. This mashup of three different quotations does not appear in that article: they are quoted separately and contextualized as being from three different occasions. &lt;p&gt; It is not the veracity of Timothy Ferris that should be questioned, but rather the anonymous writers and editors of ''Awake!'' magazine. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 13:23, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

== Suggestion ==

As discussed [[#A source that itself is not trustworthy, is not useful|here]] and [[#The world is a dangerous place|here]], the &quot;The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.&quot; that is currently in the Misattributed section of the article, is in fact a variant of &quot;The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.&quot; that is mentioned in the regular - non-disputed/misattributed - portion of the article. It was moved into the Misattributed section by [[User:Kalki]] when, initially, a source could not be found. But, as you can read in the two talk page sections I linked just now, a source was eventually found. In my opinion, the related content in the Misattributed section should be removed. There is no reason to mention it as a variant in the regular portion of the article, because it '''is already''' mentioned as a variant there. Agreed? --[[Special:Contributions/82.136.210.153|82.136.210.153]] 13:48, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
: The variants have now been moved beneath the fully sourced quote as you have suggested. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 16:19, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
::Thanks Kalki. --[[Special:Contributions/82.136.210.153|82.136.210.153]] 13:20, 4 November 2014 (UTC)

== &quot;The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.&quot; ==

I've seen some places attributing it to Einstein; but it's not mentioned here. Doesn't anyone got a RS confirming it either way? --[[User:TiagoTiago|TiagoTiago]] ([[User talk:TiagoTiago|talk]]) 20:40, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

== Quotes or TRANSLATIONS of Quotes? ==

I question that all of the claimed quotes here are in English. I do not know how fluent A.E. was in English, but I know that many of his his letters (or his speaking with native Germans) were in German. That being the case, this should make clear the FACT that a particular &quot;quote&quot; as provided here is a translation. (Which is done in some cases, but needs to be done exhaustively). Its also likely that during his Princeton and later years, some or most of what he said WAS in English, but I don't know that. This page confuses what exactly Einstein said with various translators' versions and with various alternative quotes. There is what he said, then there are people's memory of that (if it isn't recorded explicitly), then there are the various translations (and unfortunately interpretations) of his comments. The difference should be kept clear. It isn't that hard, is it, to provide the original (Deutsch) is it? So, why not do it?[[Special:Contributions/173.189.79.42|173.189.79.42]] 13:01, 13 May 2015 (UTC)

== A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be ==

This sentence is very widely quoted on the web as being from Albert Einstein. 
Is it really? If not, why? If so, shouldn't it be in the list? --[[User:Deselliers|Deselliers]] ([[User talk:Deselliers|talk]]) 20:23, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

== There is not the slightest indication that... ==

Hello, I'm an administrator of the Italian Wikiquote. In the archive of ''Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' there is the article ([http://archives.post-gazette.com/search/#query=atom+energy+hope&amp;ymd=1934-12-29 here]) but there isn't the quotation ([http://archives.post-gazette.com/search/#query=slightest+indication&amp;ymd=1934-12-29 look here]). How is it possible? Maybe the source is wrong.--[[User:AssassinsCreed|AssassinsCreed]] ([[User talk:AssassinsCreed|talk]]) 16:45, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

:Maybe the real source is [https://books.google.it/books?id=BmyLAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA24&amp;dq=slightest+indication+einstein+atom&amp;hl=it&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CGYQ6AEwCWoVChMI4KKO9JnHxwIVBxMaCh1T_wcr#v=onepage&amp;q=slightest%20indication%20einstein%20atom&amp;f=false this one] (1920).--[[User:AssassinsCreed|AssassinsCreed]] ([[User talk:AssassinsCreed|talk]]) 16:57, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

Here is the ''Pittsburg Post-Gazette'' [https://www.newspapers.com/clip/14145605/pg_coverage_of_albert_einstein/ article] zoomed in. The only two direct and relevant quotes are: &quot;It's like shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are only a few birds.&quot; &quot;We have no means to force the transfers which do not consume more energy than the transfers give out.&quot;

== If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies. ==
Earliest source I can find is a [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ll4wAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22If+most+of+us+are+ashamed+of+shabby+clothes+and+shoddy+furniture,+let+us+be+more+ashamed+of+shabby+ideas+and+shoddy+philosophies.%22&amp;dq=%22If+most+of+us+are+ashamed+of+shabby+clothes+and+shoddy+furniture,+let+us+be+more+ashamed+of+shabby+ideas+and+shoddy+philosophies.%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiXlMr8gsrJAhUNhoMKHU3OAGYQ6AEIHTAA ''Treasury of the Christian Faith''] (1949).  Seems dubious. [[User:Grover cleveland|Grover cleveland]] ([[User talk:Grover cleveland|talk]]) 15:20, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

== &quot;The pioneers of a warless world are the youth that refuse military service&quot; ==

A lot of web pages seems to say that Einstein phrased this, in either one form or another. Is there any reliable source that can verify this? —[[User:Kri|Kri]] ([[User talk:Kri|talk]]) 17:12, 20 January 2016 (UTC)

== I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ==

This seems a relatively famous quote. Its else where on wikiquotes at [[World War III#E]] I guess it should go here.--[[User:Salix alba|Salix alba]] ([[User talk:Salix alba|talk]]) 10:47, 4 June 2016 (UTC)

== You already have the world formula if you disassemble F-Zero? Denying that only means a highscore on the F-Scale? ==

I still routinely put a question mark behind each sentence.
But certainly, with the theory of relativity, nothing would have worked in this game.

== Reason of the Nobel Prize ==

The first paragraph says that he received his Nobel Prize for ''explanation'' of the photoelectric effect, when in fact he got it for the '''discovery of the law''' of the effect (not the effect itself, which had been done by Hertz). This is clearly explained on Wikipedia. --[[User:Tarnoob|Tarnoob]] ([[User talk:Tarnoob|talk]]) 01:46, 4 June 2018 (UTC)

==“The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.”==
Can we put this in the Disputed or Misattributed section? [[User:Eric Kvaalen|Eric Kvaalen]] ([[User talk:Eric Kvaalen|talk]]) 13:01, 16 December 2018 (UTC)

== The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple ==

Hi all, I've seen this attributed to Einstein, it's not here but it's all over the web; &quot;The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple&quot;. So I submit it to wikipedia's collective wisdom and powers of checking. Sounds to me like paraphrasing other stuff, such as the wrongly attributed &quot;Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.&quot; --[[User:Jrob kiwi|Jrob kiwi]] ([[User talk:Jrob kiwi|talk]]) 10:22, 18 February 2019 (UTC)

: Yes, misattributed variation from E.F.Schumacher, third one above here [[#Formerly_unsourced,_now_in_article]]. [[User:Tomruen|Tomruen]] ([[User talk:Tomruen|talk]]) 15:06, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

== &quot;Striving for social justice is the most valuable thing to do in life.&quot; -- Albert Einstein ==

Is this real? I find it everywhere but nowhere truly respectable. [[User:Thmazing|Thmazing]] ([[User talk:Thmazing|talk]]) 23:18, 12 May 2020 (UTC)

== The most beautiful and most profound religious emotion that we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. ==

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo0X2ZdElQ4&amp;feature=youtu.be TEDxNoosa 2014] cites:
{{quote|The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is at the root of all the true science. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, is my idea of God.|TEDxNoosa 2014}}
It is far different from the quote given in ''The Private Albert Einstein'' (1992) by Peter A. Bucky and Allen G. Weakland, p. 86. It seems not be sourced elsewhere. Can TEDx be cited as an authoritative and standalone source? In my modest opinion, I think so.[[User:Philosopher81sp|Philosopher81sp]] ([[User talk:Philosopher81sp|talk]]) 16:32, 24 September 2020 (UTC)

== Regarding the vast length of this discussion page ==

There are '''90''' different topics on this entire page, which I consider to be much too long for a page that serves this purpose. I feel as though something should be done about this, especially since this issue appears on many other discussion pages. [[Special:Contributions/209.232.149.23|209.232.149.23]] 22:11, 21 October 2021 (UTC)

== Einstein quotation? ==

Does anyone out there know if Einstein said, &quot;The only thing you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.&quot;?</text>
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__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt; I usually have only a sporadic presence here on most days. &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt;''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt;   '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL.   &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__
== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)

== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
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    </revision>
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      <id>3154650</id>
      <parentid>3154649</parentid>
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__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
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{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt; I usually have only a sporadic presence here on most days. &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt;''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt;   '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL.   &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__
== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)

== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>erg01ra9i728apvuybga2qry3xn6aeh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154694</id>
      <parentid>3154650</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:41:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/*   ⨀ ∴ ☥ ♥ ☮ ∵ ꇎ ॐ    */ tweaks</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="46979" xml:space="preserve">&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt;''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt;   '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL.   &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__
== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)

== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>rfc9xft0j76adwt3vy6jfzq5qfk8lo2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154696</id>
      <parentid>3154694</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:44:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/*  · I usually have only a sporadic presence here on most days. ·   */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="46989" xml:space="preserve">&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__

== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)

== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>1pvaqlbdq5ki0pt14gnske8twzhy8r5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154732</id>
      <parentid>3154696</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:26:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>beginning some organizational work I will attempt to progress with over the coming months</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="47067" xml:space="preserve">&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__

== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)

== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>82edhflqjtdcgdhexkxbsoujals6wdj</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154735</id>
      <parentid>3154732</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:28:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>archiving past material</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9214" xml:space="preserve">&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>j4lp20x2fn0726245dmjvaegl1e6062</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154741</id>
      <parentid>3154735</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:44:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9218" xml:space="preserve">&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>7lfkbp3c65efxd45v7rhhlg8z16fx8b</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154757</id>
      <parentid>3154741</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:19:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>tweaks</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9212" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].
| author = ''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>2shoojn5hcgq8c42bn8cvbacjr44zyc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154766</id>
      <parentid>3154757</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:44:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9244" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].&lt;/big&gt;
| author =&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>eqjs88anzb6492dr3vlbqfz43klsphz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154769</id>
      <parentid>3154766</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:50:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9253" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt; I will cherish these few specks of [[time]].&lt;/big&gt;
| author =&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]'''; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. '''Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].'''
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>1mc8xk23bdj1o41lf1z748jp336g7wd</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154813</id>
      <parentid>3154769</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T05:45:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9264" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
&lt;center&gt;
__NOTOC__
[[File:Dharmachakra Rainbow Wheel.svg|123px]]
{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt; I will cherish these few [[Moment|specks of]] [[time]].&lt;/big&gt;
| author =&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;''[[Everything Everywhere All at Once]]''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|123px]]
|}
&lt;big&gt;[[The All|⨀]]&lt;/big&gt;

⨀ [[File:Guy Dharmachakra.svg|222px]] ⨀

[[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army|⨀]]
&lt;!-- 
''&quot;Expect US.&quot;'' 

WE are ALL in THIS together — FOREVER.

For now, and today, and forever: ''Merry Christmas to all!'' &lt;br /&gt; And for ever to all: may you ever and always awaken to an ever greater Awareness, Life and Love of ALL!
--&gt;

&lt;small&gt;Well is ALL. &lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well All IS. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''[[ALL]] IS WELL.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt;ALWAYS and ALL WAYS. 
&lt;!-- &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:23, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
 --&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] … Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]'''; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. '''Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].'''
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;
=&lt;center&gt; &lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]] [[Awareness|∴]] [[Life|☥]] [[Love|♥]] [[Peace|☮]] [[Understanding|∵]] [[Kenosis|ꇎ]] [[Om|ॐ]] &lt;/big&gt;  &lt;/center&gt; =
==&lt;center&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:black&quot;&gt; · I usually have only a ''sporadic'' presence here on ''most'' days. · &lt;/span&gt; &lt;/center&gt;==
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #000000; color:white&quot;&gt;
&lt;big&gt;'''I remain ''very busy'' with many urgent and diverse tasks and ''expect'' to very often be doing ''very minimal'' editing here for ''most'' of the days of ''most'' of the coming years.'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Though I once regularly spent many hours of most days at least ''monitoring'' this site, I now quite often spend less than an hour a day doing so, at various random periods within any day. There are sometimes stretches of weeks where I am hardly online at all, most days. There may be a few periods in some years where I will have the opportunity for extensive activities here for days at a time, but I am not actually counting on that occurring very often. I shall continue to usually check in at least daily, ''most'' of the time, but Time shall reveal what opportunities times can provide. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;&lt;small&gt; · ''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ ♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡ · &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background: #707799&quot;&gt; · '''[[The All|ALL]]''' abides, always, and all abide, ALWAYS amidst ALL. &lt;!-- [ALL abide ALWAYS amidst ALL ] 2020·02·24 17:13:25 + 2020·02·24 17:14:37 + 2020·02·24 17:33:25 posting + tweaks 2022·06·18 15:53:15 + 2022·06·18 17:38:26 --&gt;· &lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
__TOC__</text>
      <sha1>nitdh4mjjqq9rv5n5o2aw3y8b4qhews</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User:Kalki</title>
    <ns>2</ns>
    <id>341</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154748</id>
      <parentid>3130701</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T00:50:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>update</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="57664" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Monad.svg|link= The All|11px|center]][[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|link= Mysticism|88px|center]][[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|14px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; ༜ &lt;br&gt; [[File:DBC-Hope.jpg|44px|center]]   [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Peace|23px|center]] --&gt;  
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;[[File:Rainbow diagram.svg|link= Rainbows||126px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link= Kenosis|38px|center]]
[[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|thumb|right|'''[[Self-awareness|I expect to pass]] through this [[world]] but once.''' If, therefore, there be any [[kindness]] I can show, or any [[good]] thing I can do [[Humanity|any fellow human being]] let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for '''I will not pass this way again.''' ~ [[Quaker]] saying, usually attributed to [[Stephen Grellet]] ]] [[Image:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|left|'''[[Love]]''' is in my [[beginning]] and my [[ending]]. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of [[The All|ALL]] which IS. ~ [[Kalki]] ]] [[File:Caduceus 1924.svg|144px|link=Awareness|center]][[File:Quaker Peace Star.png|123px|center]][[File:True Blue Unicorns.svg|444px|center]]
&lt;center&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Caput Memento.png|link=Absurdism|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Felix Cat-Haha.svg|link=Laughter|52px]] [[File:Psi and Caduceus.svg|link=Psychology|58px]] [[File:Walking Felix.gif|link=Joy|52px]]&lt;p&gt;Everyone has a [[belief]] [[system]], B.S., the [[trick]] is to [[learn]] not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own.
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}&lt;!-- [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] [[File:Novus Ordo Seclorum.png|88px]] [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Horizontal ray.svg|link=Light|188px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]][[File:Watchmen Smiley.svg|23px]][[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]] [[w:A∴A∴|A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]] [[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici| --&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Circumpunct.svg|link= Unity|42px]] &lt;br&gt; [[File:Polytat.svg|link= Love|123px]]&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;[[File:Invisible Pink Unicorn Dexter.svg|88px]] [[File:Visible Green Unicorn.svg|88px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Wingedglobe2.svg|222px]]&lt;br&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 3.jpg|144px]]&lt;br&gt; [[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|144px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Eternity|29px]] [[File:A+O.svg|link= Anarchism|29px]] [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|29px]] [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Chaos|29px]] [[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link= Peace|29px]]

:: '''[[Love]]''' is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Awareness]]''' receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Life]]''' itself receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which [[Universe|all else]] receives its worth.'''  &lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which All notions of ALL are sanctified and Blessed.  &lt;p&gt; What I say in 3 ways or 4, and indeed endless ways to tell you three times or more, endlessly is True.   &lt;p&gt; ~ ALL of US to ALL WE ARE --&gt;

This is a statement from a childhood dream which was actually expressed many times within the dream, in many ways, by many dream figures, with a few major variants that have stuck in my mind ever since, and which I have always thought both noteworthy and irrefutable. It was in such childhood dreams that I first envisioned a listing of many of the most important statements that have been made through the ages, and of calling it '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]'''''.

: In response to some activities and requests of which I am aware, I declare this assertion to be in the public domain, and that henceforth neither I nor any other person has any right to impede its expression, by anyone, in whatever ways they see fit, even if only to mock it. Mockeries of Love and Truth will forever pass into further mockeries and be forgotten or denied, but the Love and Truth and Beauty of such words will remain Eternal, beyond all denial. &lt;!-- Kalki 2008·12·24 19:44 --&gt;

: I assert that all people certainly have the right to disagree with it, or what little they can understand or misunderstand of it, so fully as their own consciences and reasons impel them to do, but that I and others also have the right to assert that in the ways which I or they understand it, it is irrefutable, and has been and can be an irrefutably important key to far more forms of awareness and appreciation of Reality and Life itself.

: I assert that there are many right ways to profoundly and beautifully understand it, and acknowledge that there are at least a few ways to profoundly and miserably misunderstand it, and to fail to appreciate many of the most profound and beautiful elements of its meaning and importance, but it is not my intention to elaborate upon them here.
&lt;!-- Silence on many things is a form of wisdom 2008·12·25 08:55 --&gt; 

'''All attempts to share wisdom with others is an expression of love for that which is truly essential.''' 

Even after more than eight years, we are all just at the beginning of this endeavor, and there is certainly a great deal left to be done. 
:I have started a user sub-page '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' to provide a summary of some of my activity here, as well as that of others. A ''few'' of my favorite quotes collected in the Wikiquote project, ''thus far'', are presented below, on this page. For more extensive listings of my favorites expressions and ideas see:
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''', a primarily chronological listing of authors or sources of quotes through the ages, 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' which includes selected quotes I had originally intended to present under various pseudonyms, or 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' which also permits a more extensive and personal commentary upon some quotes and ideas than would be appropriate within articles.
: '''[[Love]] is in my beginning and my ending. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of ALL which IS. &lt;br&gt; ''It IS the ALL which is''''' — &lt;br&gt; For All forms of Awareness, Life, and Love are formed by Love, and abide with Love and through Love, &lt;br&gt; In ways beyond ALL bounds of mortal minds. &lt;br&gt; '''WE ALL begin and end IN LOVE.'''  &lt;p&gt; '''It has been said that [[God]] IS Love, and that Love is ALL. &lt;br&gt; If so, what is there for the wise to hate but ignorance and confusion regarding such facts?''' &lt;br&gt;  Whether one believes that the Ultimate [[Reality]] is all-knowing or all-ignorant, ultimately meaningful or meaningless, alive or dead, or even can or cannot exist — or whether one can or cannot believe or KNOW such things to be significant speculations, many&lt;!-- of those capable of sufficient thought to desire more enduring forms of thought  --&gt; can assert that the wise ever strive to dispel and diminish ignorance and confusion in themselves and others, often transcending many forms of it with an ever abiding love. &lt;br&gt; Those who, at times, are most pathetically, tragically and dangerously ignorant and confused fall readily into fears which fuel hatreds and suspicions and their own lust to control or punish others, which they justify by observing or imagining and magnifying, exaggerating, how foul and loathsome others are, or &quot;must&quot; be — often exposing far more of their own propensities to the ways of needless destruction and error and terror than that which can ever truly be found in those they condemn. &lt;br&gt; '''[[Forgiveness]] is an imperative of the wise, and gentleness a strong desire — but they know that harshness must sometimes arise when injustices are denied or ignored, and people regularly believe or pretend to believe that many things are what they are NOT, or are not what they ARE.''' This very truth has often been twisted and misused by people accustomed to making the good seem evil and the evil seem good, in ways that are detrimental to ALL concerned. &lt;br&gt;  '''The wisest strive not to judge or to be judge by the ignorant and confused, but to make honest assessments, and abide in honest and respectful communion.''' Many remain so ignorant and confused about the nature of themselves and others and Reality itself that they believe this demands some form of absolute or absolutist control by someone. I am one of those who assert that such is a delusion of those most desiring excuses and reasons for their impulses to absolutely disregard the values and worth of others. '''The wisest know that ALL things have worth — and that NO thing has absolutely equal worth to ANY other — though in a truly just society of human beings ALL must have equal rights to assert and develop what worth they have.''' Such is the socially proper form of freedom known as [[Liberty]] — where all recognize the right of all to differ to the degree they feel proper — and thus no one accepts the presumption of ANYONE that they have the right or need to dictate to others what they MUST do, and where differences do arise sufficient to form clear hostilities of will, these should generally be acknowledged, but among the wise, ways to harmonize rather than conflict will be sought, and agreements reached as to what is best in any circumstances. It is only the very foolish who tend to hold that formulas can or must always be developed to determine what is &quot;best&quot; for all — usually these are little more than the ways to disguise from others and oneself one's presumptions or assumptions that what one desires oneself is best for all. Such formulas CAN be useful, and even necessary to develop many determinations of what is better or worse in various ways within any circumstances, but the wise know they should never be relied on AS IF they were ABSOLUTE.&lt;br&gt;  A maintaining of the balances of what can or must be known or cannot yet be properly recognized and understood by themselves or others is nearly always of concern to the wise, but also always a desire and urge to promote awareness and appreciation among all of what usually can be recognized and accepted as truly beautiful and beautifully true by most.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;small&gt; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Yorkshire rose.svg|44px]]&lt;p&gt;'''The imperialist [[ideology]] of [[force]], from whatever side it comes, must be shattered for [[all]] [[time]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[White Rose|The White Rose]] ~

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
[[File:Anonymous Idea.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''THE [[Corruption|CORRUPT]] [[Fear|FEAR]] [[Angels|US]] · THE [[Honesty|HONEST]] SUPPORT [[Anonymity|US]] · THE [[Heroism|HEROIC]] JOIN [[Absurdism|US]].''' &lt;!-- I certainly do NOT and CANNOT agree with ALL members of ANONYMOUS or accept or condone all of their overt or covert aims, actions or statements — but I respect them as a RAPIDLY EVOLVING and SWIFTLY ACTING community of Human Beings among whom are many who ARE developing a devotion to Liberating and Helping HUMANITY — as opposed to imposing MECHANISTIC and LEGALISTIC BINDINGS upon the Human Soul and Human lives. ~ Kalki --&gt;
| author = [[Anonymous (group)‎‎|ANONYMOUS]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Anarco logo Wikiquote.svg|44px]]  &lt;br&gt; '''My [[Politics|political]] [[opinions]] lean more and more to [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] '''…[[Philosophy|philosophically]] understood, meaning abolition of control … '''The most improper [[job]] of any man … is bossing other men.''' Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the [[opportunity]].'''
| author = J. R. R. Tolkien
}}
[[File:Yggdrasil.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[Science|sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's [[life]], lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the [[Individualism|individual]] towards [[freedom]].
| author = Albert Einstein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man's right to [[Knowledge|know]], to [[Learning|learn]], to inquire, to make bona fide [[errors]], to investigate [[human]] [[emotions]] must, by all means, be safe, if the word [[Freedom|FREEDOM]] should ever be more than an empty political slogan.
| author = Wilhelm Reich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our [[freedom]] to [[doubt]] was born out of a struggle against [[authority]] in the early days of [[science]]. It was a very deep and strong struggle: permit us to question — to doubt — to not be sure. I think that it is important that we do not forget this struggle and thus perhaps lose what we have gained.
| author = Richard Feynman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not [[know]] what I may [[appear]] to the [[world]], but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the [[sea]]-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great [[ocean]] of [[truth]] lay all undiscovered before me.
| author = Isaac Newton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The practical reason for [[freedom]] is that freedom seems to be the only condition under which any kind of substantial [[moral]] fiber can be developed — we have tried [[law]], compulsion and [[authoritarianism]] of various kinds, and the result is [[nothing]] to be [[proud]] of. 
| author = Albert Jay Nock
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[liberties]] of none are safe unless the liberties of all are [[protected]].
| author = William O. Douglas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Art]] is the [[symbol]] of the two noblest [[human]] [[efforts]]: to construct and to refrain from destruction.
| author = Simone Weil
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If we win here we will win everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; The [[world]] is a fine place and worth the [[fighting]] for and I hate very much to leave it.'''
| author = [[Ernest Hemingway]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[w:For Whom the Bell Tolls|For Whom the Bell Tolls]]'' 
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the [[world]].'''
| author = Archimedes
}} 
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Always do [[right]]. &lt;br /&gt; This will gratify some [[people]], and astonish the rest.
| author = Mark Twain
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''' Whatever pretended [[pessimists]] in search of [[Fame|notoriety]] may say, most [[people]] are [[naturally]] [[kind]], at [[heart]].
| author = James Branch Cabell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I understand the most profound and simplest [[Truth]] of all: Any [[time]] any of us reaches out, any time we pour even a drop of [[love]], [[compassion]], simple human decency (no matter how small; how seemingly insignificant) into the [[sea]] of earthly existence — we are, each and every one of us — the being called [[Mercy]].
| author = J. M. DeMatteis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you ever injected [[truth]] into [[politics]] you'd have [[Anarchism|no politics]].
| author = Will Rogers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Political]] [[language]] — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from [[Conservatives]] to [[Anarchists]] — is designed to make [[lies]] sound truthful and [[murder]] respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure [[wind]].
| author = George Orwell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be deceived by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] ...Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I remain certain that the quest for [[truth]] cannot thrive outside the nourishment of mutual trust flowering into a commitment to [[friendship]].
| author = Ivan Illich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The highest of generalizations is the synergetic integration of [[truth]] and [[love]].
| author = Buckminster Fuller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not [[believe]] in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious [[books]]. Do not believe in anything merely on the [[authority]] of your [[teachers]] and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with [[reason]] and is conducive to the [[good]] and benefit of one and [[all]], then accept it and [[live]] up to it.
| author = [[Gautama Buddha|Gautama]] [[w:Buddhahood|Buddha]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
| author = Pythagoras
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Ye shall [[Knowledge|know]] the [[truth]], and the truth shall make you [[Freedom|free]].
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]] ([[Christ|Jesus Christ]])
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A new commandment I give unto you, That ye [[love]] one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[All]] those who listen to me shall pass on my [[words]] to others and those to others again; and may the last ones [[understand]] my words better than those who listen to me directly.
| author = [[Muhammad]] [[w:Peace be upon him (Islam)|(SAW)]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''As men's habits of [[mind]] differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of [[faith]], some another, for what moves one to [[pray]] may move another to scoff, I conclude ... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits; each would then obey [[God]] freely with his whole [[heart]], while nothing would be publicly honoured save [[justice]] and [[charity]].
| author = Baruch Spinoza
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] is only [[Door|where you let Him in]].
| author = Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are [[worlds]] beyond worlds and [[times]] beyond times, [[all]] of them true, all of them [[real]], and all of them (as [[children]] [[know]]) penetrating each other.
| author = P. L. Travers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Objective [[knowledge]], the [[idea]] of [[unity]] included, belongs to objective consciousness. The forms which express this knowledge when perceived by subjective consciousness are inevitably distorted and, instead of [[truth]], they create more and more delusions.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]] speak about [[death]] during this [[life]] on [[earth]]. Death must come before rebirth. But what must die? False [[confidence]] in one’s own [[knowledge]], [[self]]-love and [[egoism]]. Our egoism must be broken. We must realize that we are very complicated machines, and so this process of breaking is bound to be a long and difficult task. Before real [[growth]] becomes possible, our [[personality]] must die.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[Truth]] Shall Make Ye Fret.
| author = Terry Pratchett
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''All [[Faith]] is false, all Faith is true: [[Truth]] is the shattered mirror strown &lt;br&gt; In myriad bits; while each [[believes]] his little bit the whole to own.''
| author = Richard Francis Burton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Opinions]] alter, manners [[change]], creeds rise and fall, but the [[moral]] [[law]] is written on the tablets of [[eternity]].
| author = James Anthony Froude
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[spirit]] of [[truth]] and the spirit of [[freedom]] — these are the pillars of [[society]].
| author = Henrik Ibsen
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''When one has once fully entered the realm of [[Love]], the [[world]] — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for Love.
| author = Søren Kierkegaard
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I think of few [[heroic]] [[actions]], which cannot be traced to the [[Art|artistical]] impulse. He who does great [[deeds]], does them from his innate sensitiveness to [[moral]] [[beauty]].
| author = Walt Whitman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Sin]] lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other &quot;sins&quot; are invented [[nonsense]].
| author = Robert A. Heinlein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We don't beat [[Death|the reaper]] by living longer, but by living well, and living fully — for the reaper will come for all of us. The question is: what do we do between the time we're born and the time he shows up.
| author = Randy Pausch
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not wait for the [[Last Judgment]]. It takes place every [[day]].
| author = Albert Camus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've always attempted to keep a mature outlook, but I cannot deny there have been lapses; I once possessed a whoopie cushion — I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was still there.
| author = [[w:Rowan Atkinson|Inspector Raymond C. Fowler]] in ''[[The Thin Blue Line (TV series)|The Thin Blue Line]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Eternity|Always]] postpone meetings with [[time]]-wasting [[morons]].
| author = Scott Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the [[universe]]; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the [[rules]], and who [[smiles]] ''[[Eternity|all the time]]''.
| author = ''[[Good Omens]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with [[Brahman|the ineffable itself]], and see if we may not eff it after all.
| author = Douglas Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All statements are true in some [[sense]], false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
| author = ''[[Principia Discordia]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized [[agnosticism]], not agnosticism about [[God]] alone, but agnosticism about [[The All|everything]].
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Awareness|Consciousness]] is the ultimate [[Reality]]; compared with it, all else is illusion.''' 
| author = Harold W. Percival
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There's never been a true [[war]] that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the [[right]]. The really [[dangerous]] [[people]] [[believe]] they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
| author = Neil Gaiman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Ideas]], unlike solid structures, do not perish. They remain immortal, immaterial and everywhere, like all Divine things. Ideas are a golden, savage landscape that we wander unaware, without a map. Be careful: in the last analysis, [[reality]] may be exactly what we think it is.
| author = Alan Moore
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Each man and woman defines the [[world]] about them, creating a set of those things which they consider &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;[[good]]&quot; and &quot;[[evil]]&quot; and &quot;sympathetic&quot; and &quot;likable,&quot; and these are damned indomitable walls. They are high and thick, and it is the task of the [[writer]] to penetrate or scale them.
| author = Caitlín R. Kiernan
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The layman always means, when he says &quot;[[reality]]&quot; that he is speaking of something [[self]]-evidently known; whereas to me it seems the most important and exceedingly difficult task of our [[time]] is to [[work]] on the construction of a new [[idea]] of reality.
| author = Wolfgang Pauli
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The existing scientific concepts cover always only a very limited part of [[reality]], and the other part that has not yet been understood is [[infinite]].
| author = Werner Heisenberg
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced [[ideas]] will be readily taken up. His work is like that of the planter — for the [[future]]. His [[duty]] is to lay the foundation for those who are to come, and point the way. He [[lives]] and [[labors]] and [[hopes]].
| author = Nikola Tesla
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Although to penetrate into the intimate [[mysteries]] of [[nature]] and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena.
| author = Leonhard Euler
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Dudeism|Don't Take Anything Personally]]. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [[reality]], their own [[dream]].
| author = Don Miguel Ruiz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Happiness]] exists on [[earth]], and it is won through prudent exercise of [[reason]], [[knowledge]] of the [[harmony]] of the [[universe]], and constant practice of [[generosity]].
| author = José Martí
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I build no [[system]]. I ask an end to privilege, the abolition of [[slavery]], [[equality]] of [[rights]], and the reign of [[law]]. [[Justice]], nothing else; that is the alpha and omega of my argument: to others I leave the [[business]] of governing the [[world]].
| author = Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I am an Anarchist not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Liberty]] is always [[dangerous]], but it is the safest thing we have.
| author = Harry Emerson Fosdick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I still believe that [[peace]] and plenty and [[happiness]] can be worked out some way. I am a [[fool]].
| author = Kurt Vonnegut
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've never seen anybody really find the answer, but they think they have. So they stop thinking. But the job is to seek [[mystery]], evoke mystery, plant a [[garden]] in which [[strange]] plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.
| author = Ken Kesey
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not want the [[peace]] that [[Brahman|passeth understanding]]. I want the [[understanding]] which [[Tao|bringeth peace]].
| author = Helen Keller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Pain]] is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
| author = Lance Armstrong
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster [[cruelty]]; more abominable is the fact that they foster [[idiocy]].
| author = Jorge Luis Borges
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are two kinds of fools: one says, &quot;This is old, therefore it is [[good]]&quot;; the other says, &quot;This is new, therefore it is better.&quot;
| author = William Ralph Inge
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If your [[morals]] make you dreary, depend upon it they are [[wrong]]. I do not say &quot;give them up,&quot; for they may be all you have; but conceal them like a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler [[people]].
| author = Robert Louis Stevenson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man seeks, in his manhood, not orders, not [[laws]] and peremptory dogmas, but counsel from one who is earnest in [[goodness]] and [[faithful]] in [[friendship]], making man free.
| author = Dietrich Bonhoeffer
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Long live [[freedom]] and damn the [[ideologies]].
| author = Robinson Jeffers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding [[wonder]] meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the [[heart]] with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater [[miracles]], and superber trophies than all the [[stars]] in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. 
| author = Herman Melville
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I have been all men known to [[history]],&lt;br&gt; Wondering at the [[world]] and at [[time]] passing;&lt;br&gt; I have seen [[evil]], and the [[light]] [[blessing]]&lt;br&gt; Innocent [[love]] under a spring [[sky]].'' 
| author = R. S. Thomas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All men [[dream]]: but not equally. Those who dream by [[night]] in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the [[day]] to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are [[dangerous]] men, for they may [[act]] their dreams with open [[eyes]], to make it possible. This I did.
| author = T. E. Lawrence
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Way of the Warrior has been misunderstood. It is not a means to kill and destroy others. Those who seek to compete and better one another are making a terrible [[mistake]]. To smash, injure, or destroy is the worst thing a human being can do. The real Way of a Warrior is to prevent such slaughter — it is the [[Art]] of [[Peace]], the [[power]] of [[love]].
| author = Morihei Ueshiba
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our armament must be adequate to the needs, but our [[faith]] is not primarily in these machines of defense but in [[Humanity|ourselves]].
| author = Chester W. Nimitz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
| author = George S. Patton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Victorious warriors win first and then go to [[war]], while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
| author = Sun Tzu
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I never learned how to tune a harp, or play upon a lute; but I know how to raise a small and inconsiderable city to [[glory]] and [[greatness]].
| author = Themistocles
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is always safe to [[learn]], even from our enemies, seldom safe to venture to instruct, even our [[friends]].
| author = Charles Caleb Colton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you make people [[think]] they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll [[hate]] you.'''
| author = Don Marquis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''To [[joke]] in the face of [[danger]] is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic [[hero]].
| author = Edmond Rostand
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The pessimist is commonly spoken of as the man in revolt. He is not. Firstly, because it requires some cheerfulness to continue in revolt, and secondly, because [[pessimism]] appeals to the [[Weakness|weaker]] side of everybody, and the pessimist, therefore, drives as roaring a trade as the publican. The person who is really in revolt is the [[optimist]], who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade all the other [[people]] how [[Goodness|good]] they are. It has been proved a hundred times over that if you really wish to enrage people and make them [[angry]], even unto [[death]], the right way to do it is to tell them that they are all the sons of [[God]].
| author = G. K. Chesterton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen.
| author = Robert Nozick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If [[God]] be [[All|God]] and man a creature made in image of the divine intelligence, his noblest function is the search for [[truth]].
| author = Morris West
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Cosmos|All things]] are in [[all]].
| author = Giordano Bruno
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is wise to listen, not to me but to [[w:Logos|the Word]], and to confess that [[all]] [[Unity|things are one]].
| author = Heraclitus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are very many [[Semiotics|signs]] that, being, is uncreated and imperishable, whole, unique, unwavering, and complete.
| author = Parmenides
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''&quot;[[Fire]]&quot; does not matter, &quot;[[earth]]&quot; and &quot;[[air]]&quot; and &quot;[[water]]&quot; do not matter. [[Self|&quot;I&quot; do not matter]]. No [[word]] matters. But man forgets [[reality]] and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the [[great]] [[transformations]] of the [[world]], but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their [[names]] come to his lips and he [[smiles]] as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a [[miracle]].
| author =  [[Roger Zelazny]] in ''[[Lord of Light]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[law]] of [[love]] is in accord with the [[nature]] of [[man]]. But men can only recognize this [[truth]] to its full extent when they have completely freed themselves from all [[religious]] and [[scientific]] [[superstitions]] and from all the consequent misrepresentations and sophistical distortions by which its recognition has been hindered for centuries.
| author = Leo Tolstoy
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen.&lt;br&gt; I don't know when,&lt;br&gt;But just saying it could even make it happen.'' 
| author = Kate Bush
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: [[Love]], and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy [[peace]], through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can [[nothing]] spring but what is [[good]].
| author = Augustine of Hippo
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''For the tender [[love]] that our good Lord hath to all that shall be saved, He comforteth readily and sweetly, signifying thus: ''It is sooth that [[sin]] is [[cause]] of all this [[pain]]; but [[all]] shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be [[Health|well]].''
| author = Julian of Norwich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We must move into the [[universe]]. [[Mankind]] must save itself. We must escape the [[danger]] of [[war]] and [[politics]]. We must become astronauts and go out into the universe and discover [[God|the God]] in ourselves.
| author = Ray Bradbury
}}
&lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Oedipus at Colonus.jpg|link=Irony|144px]]  &lt;br&gt; &quot;I conclude that '''[[all]] is well''',&quot; says [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus]], and '''that remark is [[sacred]]'''. [[Irony|It '''echoes''' in the wild and limited]] [[universe]] of man. It teaches that [[all]] is not, has not been, exhausted.  &lt;br&gt; [[File:Yoism symbol.svg|link=Dudeism|44px]]
| author = Albert Camus
}}
&lt;center&gt;
[[File:Sir Edward Burne Jones - The tree of forgiveness.jpeg|144px|center]]
'''[[Forgiveness]] does not change the [[past]], but it does enlarge the [[future]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ Paul Boese ~ &lt;!-- as quoted in ''Quote :The Weekly Digest'', Vol. 53, No. 8 (19 February 1967), p. 14 --&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Ibaraki Kasugaoka Church light cross.jpg|144px]]&lt;p&gt;'''[[File:Herz mit Pfeil thresh 90.svg|link=Love|44px]]&lt;big&gt; +  &lt;/big&gt; &amp;nbsp;  [[File:Peace symbol.svg|link=Peace|29px]]  &lt;big&gt; = &lt;/big&gt; [[Information|INFORMATION]]&lt;br&gt; '''I don't think [[time]] matters much if you're a [[w:List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Ted_Brautigan|Breaker]].'''
| author = [[Stephen King]] in ''[[w:Hearts in Atlantis|Hearts in Atlantis]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A [[dream]] you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is [[reality]].
| author = Yoko Ono
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''We all been playing those [[mind]] games forever &lt;br&gt; Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil. &lt;br&gt; Doing the mind guerrilla, &lt;br&gt;  Some call it [[magic]] — ''the search for the [[Holy Grail|grail]]''. &lt;p&gt; [[Love]] is the answer and you know that for sure. &lt;br&gt; Love is a flower, you got to let it — you got to let it grow.  &lt;p&gt; So keep on playing those mind games together &lt;br&gt; Doing the ritual dance in the [[sun]]. &lt;br&gt; Millions of mind guerrillas &lt;br&gt; Putting their ''soul power'' to the karmic wheel. &lt;p&gt; ''Yes'' is the answer and you know that for sure.'''
| author = John Lennon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Truth lies not in the Yes and not in the No, but in the knowledge and the beginning from which the Yes and the No arise.
| author = Karl Barth
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''After the final no there comes a yes &lt;br&gt; And on that yes the future world depends. &lt;br&gt; [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|144px]] &lt;br&gt; No was the night. &lt;br&gt; Yes is this present sun.
| author = Wallace Stevens
}}
[[File:Irish clover.jpg|44px]]&lt;/center&gt;

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
'''[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]''': [[Tao]] · [[Love]] · [[Peace]] · [[Humility]] · [[Courage]] · [[Honesty]] · [[Compassion]] · [[Friendship]] 

'''[[List_of_literary_works|Works]]:''' ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]] · [[The Ballad of the White Horse]] · [[Books of Magic]] · [[Dune]] · [[The Four Quartets]] · [[The God of Small Things]] · [[Idylls of the King]] · [[Leaves of Grass]] · [[Les Miserables]] · [[The Lord of the Rings]] · [[Mercy (Vertigo)|Mercy]] · [[Nineteen Eighty-Four]] · [[One Minute Nonsense]] · [[Principia Discordia]] · [[The Prophet]] · [[The Sandman|The San∂man]] · [[The Ship that Flew‎‎]] · [[The Silmarillion]] · [[Stranger In A Strange Land]] · [[William Shakespeare|The Works of William Shakespeare]] · [[A Tale of Two Cities]] · [[Through the Looking-Glass]]''

'''[[List_of_people_by_name|People]]''': [[Douglas Adams]] · [[Eden Ahbez]] · [[Isaac Asimov]] · [[Richard Bach]] · [[Baha'u'llah]] · [[Black Elk]] · [[Emily Brontë]] · [[Thomas Browne]] · [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] · [[Robert Browning]] · [[Gautama Buddha]] · [[Richard Francis Burton]] · [[Leo Buscaglia]] · [[John Carder Bush]] · [[Kate Bush]] · [[G. K. Chesterton]] · [[Winston Churchill]] · [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] · [[Confucius]] · [[Emily Dickinson]] · [[John Donne]] · [[Bob Dylan]] · [[Meister Eckhart]] · [[Albert Einstein]] · [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]] · [[George Eliot]] · [[T. S. Eliot]] · [[Buckminster Fuller]] · [[Eleanor Farjeon]] · [[William Faulkner]] · [[Richard Feynman]] · [[Benjamin Franklin]] · [[Robert Frost]] · [[Neil Gaiman]] · [[Mohandas Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]] · [[Hermann Göring]] · [[Stephen Grellet]] · [[Robert Heinlein]] *[[Ernest Hemingway]] · [[Frank Herbert]] · [[Douglas Hofstadter]] · [[Elbert Hubbard]] · [[Aldous Huxley]] · [[Thomas Jefferson]] · [[Jesus Christ]] · [[Chief Joseph]] · [[Julian|The Emperor Julian]] · [[Julian of Norwich]] · [[Helen Keller]] · [[John F. Kennedy]] · [[Martin Luther King]] · [[Stephen King]] · [[C. S. Lewis]] · [[Abraham Lincoln]] · [[Marcus Aurelius]] · [[Andrew Marvell]] · [[Groucho Marx]] · [[Anthony de Mello]] · [[H. L. Mencken]] · [[Jim Morrison]] · [[Muhammad]] · [[Isaac Newton]] · [[Reinhold Niebuhr]] · [[Martin Niemöller]] · [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] · [[Anaïs Nin]] · [[Joshua A. Norton|Emperor Norton I]] · [[Thomas Paine]] · [[Louis Pasteur]] · [[Emo Phillips]] · [[Max Planck]] · [[Edgar Allan Poe]] · [[Yitzhak Rabin]] · [[Spider Robinson]] · [[Eleanor Roosevelt]] · [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]] · [[Theodore Roosevelt]] · [[Arundhati Roy]] · [[Bertrand Russell]] · [[Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf]] · [[Antoine de Saint-Exupery]] · [[George Santayana]] · [[Dr. Seuss]] · [[William Shakespeare]] · [[George Bernard Shaw]] · [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]] · [[Robert Louis Stevenson]] · [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]] · [[Henry David Thoreau]] · [[Mark Twain]] · [[Leonardo da Vinci]] · [[Voltaire]] · [[Andy Warhol]] · [[Bill Watterson]] · [[Morris West]] · [[Walt Whitman]] · [[Ella Wheeler Wilcox]] · [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]] · [[William Butler Yeats]]

'''[[List_of_films|Films]]:''' ''[[Groundhog Day]] · [[Harvey]] · [[It's a Wonderful Life]] · [[L. A. Confidential]] · [[The Matrix]] · [[The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)]] · [[They Might Be Giants]]''

'''[[List of theatrical plays and musicals|Theatrical Plays and Musicals]]:''' [[Into the Woods]] 

'''[[List of categories|Other Categrories]]: [[Quote of the Day archive|Quote of the Day Archives]] · [[Famous last words]] · [[Epitaphs]] · [[List of advertising slogans|Famous Advertising Slogans]] · [[Television Shows|TV Shows]] · [[Electronic Games]] · [[List of proverbs|Folk Proverbs]] · List of [[Wikiquote:Wikiquotians|Wikiquotians]] · [[Wikiquote:Utilities|Utilities]] · [[Wikiquote:Village pump|Village pump]] · [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]'''

Most of the above are listed because they contain gems of positive inspiration, but some worthy articles such as ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' provide a reminder of how nightmarish the misguided ''can'' be, and of such harm as ''can'' be done to individuals and to society whenever Liberty, Truth, and Love are not paramount concerns. There is always immense tragedy wherever the levels of oppression, dishonesty, and hatred of vital impulses that people are willing to manifest are the primary means to obtaining status, power, comfort, —and such ''apparent'' personal &quot;safety&quot; as exists without regard for the beauty or '''''[[w:Reality|reality]]''''' of the '''''[[w:Eternity|eternal]] [[w:Soul|soul]]''''' which manifests ''only'' through '''[[Love]]'''.

Certainly many famous people, important [[:Category:Themes|themes]], major literary works, and motion pictures remain to be added, and even more categories can be developed. 

I was long one of the administrators here, which never gave me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided. 
{{List of admins}}
'''These are the people to contact if you observe any recurring abuse of Wikiquote privileges, and feel a user should be blocked or a page protected from edits, or a page deleted.''' Many of these people are no longer very active here, but I intend to be around most days, and remain involved to the extent which I can. Luckily, the problems that have occurred here thus far have been relatively minor, and some apparent abuse might have been accidents or novices to wikis amazed that they are actually permitted to do edits to the pages without the prior approval of anyone. Those who persist in vandalizing the wiki (or the wiki ''process'' itself, with the accumulation or development of needless rules or presumptions of authority), will need to be dealt with more vigorously, through various means of non-violent [[w:Direct action|direct action]].

I intend to do at least a little work on this project on most days; copying, editing, and formatting many quotations from many diverse authors and sources, and to simply observe the progress of it, and expect that ''many'' people will eventually be inspired to contribute an extensive amount to this developing compendium of wit and wisdom.

I do not intend to always respond promptly to queries and comments, but sometimes might just be carefully formulating my response in a way that takes into account the many considerations that I believe should be involved in any decisions upon many matters.

'''I send my best of wishes to all those who are prompted to increase the awareness potentials of themselves and others in respectful and beneficial ways. 

There are some truths that I feel are rarely expressed or repeated often enough, and are too seldom thought upon by many, so I will end as I began, quoting a small portion of what I can remember from a childhood dream; one of the slight variants of the statement with which I began, and which my soul continually affirms: 

:: '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which all else derives its worth.'''
:::::::~ '''''[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]''''' ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 01:44, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #B0C4DE; background-color: #B0C4DE;&quot;&gt; '''This is the primary account of Kalki, who has also used many other account-names here, some since the very first days of this Wiki.''' &lt;p&gt; &lt;big&gt; &lt;big&gt; &quot;If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it.&quot; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;br&gt; '''Foundational Principles against overly-controlling forces developing on the wikis.''' &lt;br&gt; Even if you have read them before, PLEASE EXAMINE ANEW: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Ignore all rules|Wikipedia:Ignore all rules]]''', and the other links available there, including [[w:Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not#Wikipedia_is_not_a_democracy|the links delineating much which Wikipedia was NOT]].''' &lt;br&gt; These were some of the earliest directives established by the founding workers on the Wikimedia projects. &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;'''Ignore all rules: If rules make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the wiki, then ignore them entirely and go about your business.'''&quot; ~ [[w:Wikipedia:Historical archive/RulesToConsider|RulesToConsider]] &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Ignore_all_rules&amp;diff=70516723 IAR is policy, always has been]&quot; ~ Wikipedia founder [[Jimmy Wales]]
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;'''I am one of the administrators here, which doesn't give me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided.''' I am in a period of very intermittent but gradually developing activity here, and follow no set schedule. &lt;!-- A devotion to preserving and expanding many forms of [[Awareness]], [[Life]], [[Love]] and appreciation of the principles of [[Justice]], [[Unity]] [[Liberty]] and [[Joyous]] [[Universalist]] [[Love]] in truly profound and genuine ways far beyond that of lip-service, based on an intense commitment to the crucial [[virtues]] of [[humility]], [[courage]], [[honesty]] and [[compassion]], continues to guide me and abide with me. --&gt;  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 03:26, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
==  &lt;center&gt; Ω &lt;/center&gt;   ==
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Wikipedia-logo A pt.svg|44px]]&lt;br&gt; '''If [[rules]] make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the Wiki, then ignore them and go about your [[business]].'''
| author = Lee Daniel Crocker
}}
[[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|23px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  '''I am an [[:Category:Anarchists|Anarchist]] not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.'''
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
[[File:AforAnarcho.svg|link=Anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = I told you when I came I was a [[stranger]].
| author = Leonard Cohen
}}[[File:Übersicht der Fundamentalteilchen.svg|44px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; [[File:D06 strange.jpg|44px|center]] --&gt; 
&lt;!-- [[File:Smiley.svg|29px|center]] [[File:The Comedian weapons.jpg|144px|center]] --&gt;
&lt;center&gt;You know when you have a [[dream]] and you're half-awake, but still in the fringe of your [[brain]] …&lt;br&gt;  then you open your [[eyes]] and you're so damned glad it was a dream? &lt;br&gt; '''[[Cosmos|This]] was ''[[Nothing|NOTHING]]'' like that.''' &lt;br&gt; &lt;small&gt; ~ &lt;!-- Wesley Allan Gibson (WAG)--&gt;[[Wanted (2008 film)|Wesley, son of Cross, in ''Wanted'']] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monkey 2.svg|44px]] &lt;p&gt; '''[[The All|The movie]] never changes.''' &lt;br /&gt;  '''It can't [[change]]'''; but every [[time]] you [[Vision|see]] it, it seems different because '''[[Self|you're different]].''' &lt;br /&gt; '''You see different things.'''
| author = [[Bruce Willis|J. C.]] ~&lt;br /&gt;  in &lt;br /&gt; ~ ''[[12 Monkeys]]''
}}
[[File:Quark structure omega.svg|29px|center]] 
[[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|11px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|23px|center]][[File:Peace sign.svg|link= Peace|29px|center]][[File:A+O.svg|link= Christian anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  [[File:Dudeism.svg|link=Tao|44px]]  &lt;p&gt; '''[[Dudeism|The Dude abides]].'''  &lt;br&gt; I don't [[know]] about you but I take [[comfort]] in that.  &lt;br&gt;  It's [[good]] [[Knowledge|knowin']] he's out there.  &lt;br&gt; [[Humanity|The Dude]].  &lt;br&gt; Takin' 'er easy for all us [[Sin|sinners]].
| author = [[Angel|The]] [[Stranger]] ~&lt;br&gt; in  &lt;br&gt;~ ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''
}}
__TOC__
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt; 
: Before agreeing to defer to an IMPOSITION to restrict editing here ONLY to the '''Kalki''' account, until such a time as the issues involved could be more thoroughly addressed and decided upon, in order to lift a [[User:Kalki/Outrages_of_October_-_November_2010#Administrative_action_against_user_Kalki_in_this_matter|PLAINLY IMPROPER and POLICY VIOLATING BLOCK]] by {{user|Cirt}}, this user had additionally made well over '''11,444''' ''contributive'' edits using many other names, for a present count of well over '''147,000''' edits in all. MANY of these names and associated restored userpage messages have been salvaged from defacement at '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]'''''. MANY of the thousands of articles either created or significantly worked upon by this user are listed at '''[[User:Kalki/index|Kalki/index]]. ·

{{userpage|Kalki}}</text>
      <sha1>88mxa1nlt2f812in8e6cg4me9jwj17d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154749</id>
      <parentid>3154748</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T00:56:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>tweaks</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="57807" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Monad.svg|link= The All|11px|center]][[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|link= Mysticism|88px|center]][[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|14px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; ༜ &lt;br&gt; [[File:DBC-Hope.jpg|44px|center]]   [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Peace|23px|center]] --&gt;  
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;[[File:Rainbow diagram.svg|link= Rainbows||126px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link= Kenosis|38px|center]]
[[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|thumb|right|'''[[Self-awareness|I expect to pass]] through this [[world]] but once.''' If, therefore, there be any [[kindness]] I can show, or any [[good]] thing I can do [[Humanity|any fellow human being]] let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for '''I will not pass this way again.''' ~ [[Quaker]] saying, usually attributed to [[Stephen Grellet]] ]] [[Image:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|left|'''[[Love]]''' is in my [[beginning]] and my [[ending]]. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of [[The All|ALL]] which IS. ~ [[Kalki]] ]] [[File:Caduceus 1924.svg|144px|link=Awareness|center]][[File:Quaker Peace Star.png|123px|center]][[File:True Blue Unicorns.svg|444px|center]]
&lt;center&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Caput Memento.png|link=Absurdism|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Felix Cat-Haha.svg|link=Laughter|52px]] [[File:Psi and Caduceus.svg|link=Psychology|58px]] [[File:Walking Felix.gif|link=Joy|52px]]&lt;p&gt;Everyone has a [[belief]] [[system]], B.S., the [[trick]] is to [[learn]] not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own.
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}&lt;!-- [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] [[File:Novus Ordo Seclorum.png|88px]] [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Horizontal ray.svg|link=Light|188px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]][[File:Watchmen Smiley.svg|23px]][[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]] [[w:A∴A∴|A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]] [[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici| --&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Circumpunct.svg|link= Unity|42px]] &lt;br&gt; [[File:Polytat.svg|link= Love|123px]]&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;[[File:Invisible Pink Unicorn Dexter.svg|88px]] [[File:Visible Green Unicorn.svg|88px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Wingedglobe2.svg|222px]]&lt;br&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 3.jpg|144px]]&lt;br&gt; [[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|144px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Eternity|29px]] [[File:A+O.svg|link= Anarchism|29px]] [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|29px]] [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Chaos|29px]] [[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link= Peace|29px]]

::&lt;!--  '''[[Love]]''' is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Awareness]]''' receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Life]]''' itself receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''[[Love]] is the ultimate of holies, by which [[Universe|all else]] receives its worth.'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which All notions of ALL are sanctified and Blessed.  &lt;p&gt; What I say in 3 ways or 4, and indeed endless ways to tell you three times or more, endlessly is True.   &lt;p&gt; ~ ALL of US to ALL WE ARE --&gt;

This is a statement from a childhood dream which was actually expressed many times within the dream, in many ways, by many dream figures, with a few major variants that have stuck in my mind ever since, and which I have always thought both noteworthy and irrefutable. It was in such childhood dreams that I first envisioned a listing of many of the most important statements that have been made through the ages, and of calling it '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]'''''.

: In response to some activities and requests of which I am aware, I declare this assertion to be in the public domain, and that henceforth neither I nor any other person has any right to impede its expression, by anyone, in whatever ways they see fit, even if only to mock it. Mockeries of Love and Truth will forever pass into further mockeries and be forgotten or denied, but the Love and Truth and Beauty of such words will remain Eternal, beyond all denial. &lt;!-- Kalki 2008·12·24 19:44 --&gt;

: I assert that all people certainly have the right to disagree with it, or what little they can understand or misunderstand of it, so fully as their own consciences and reasons impel them to do, but that I and others also have the right to assert that in the ways which I or they understand it, it is irrefutable, and has been and can be an irrefutably important key to far more forms of awareness and appreciation of Reality and Life itself.

: I assert that there are many right ways to profoundly and beautifully understand it, and acknowledge that there are at least a few ways to profoundly and miserably misunderstand it, and to fail to appreciate many of the most profound and beautiful elements of its meaning and importance, but it is not my intention to elaborate upon them here.
&lt;!-- Silence on many things is a form of wisdom 2008·12·25 08:55 --&gt; 

'''All attempts to share wisdom with others is an expression of love for that which is truly essential.''' 

Even after more than eight years, we are all just at the beginning of this endeavor, and there is certainly a great deal left to be done. 
:I have started a user sub-page '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' to provide a summary of some of my activity here, as well as that of others. A ''few'' of my favorite quotes collected in the Wikiquote project, ''thus far'', are presented below, on this page. For more extensive listings of my favorites expressions and ideas see:
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''', a primarily chronological listing of authors or sources of quotes through the ages, 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' which includes selected quotes I had originally intended to present under various pseudonyms, or 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' which also permits a more extensive and personal commentary upon some quotes and ideas than would be appropriate within articles.
: '''[[Love]] is in my beginning and my ending. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of ALL which IS. &lt;br&gt; ''It IS the ALL which is''''' — &lt;br&gt; For All forms of Awareness, Life, and Love are formed by Love, and abide with Love and through Love, &lt;br&gt; In ways beyond ALL bounds of mortal minds. &lt;br&gt; '''WE ALL begin and end IN LOVE.'''  &lt;p&gt; '''It has been said that [[God]] IS Love, and that Love is ALL. &lt;br&gt; If so, what is there for the wise to hate but ignorance and confusion regarding such facts?''' &lt;br&gt;  Whether one believes that the Ultimate [[Reality]] is all-knowing or all-ignorant, ultimately meaningful or meaningless, alive or dead, or even can or cannot exist — or whether one can or cannot believe or KNOW such things to be significant speculations, many&lt;!-- of those capable of sufficient thought to desire more enduring forms of thought  --&gt; can assert that the wise ever strive to dispel and diminish ignorance and confusion in themselves and others, often transcending many forms of it with an ever abiding love. &lt;br&gt; Those who, at times, are most pathetically, tragically and dangerously ignorant and confused fall readily into fears which fuel hatreds and suspicions and their own lust to control or punish others, which they justify by observing or imagining and magnifying, exaggerating, how foul and loathsome others are, or &quot;must&quot; be — often exposing far more of their own propensities to the ways of needless destruction and error and terror than that which can ever truly be found in those they condemn. &lt;br&gt; '''[[Forgiveness]] is an imperative of the wise, and gentleness a strong desire — but they know that harshness must sometimes arise when injustices are denied or ignored, and people regularly believe or pretend to believe that many things are what they are NOT, or are not what they ARE.''' This very truth has often been twisted and misused by people accustomed to making the good seem evil and the evil seem good, in ways that are detrimental to ALL concerned. &lt;br&gt;  '''The wisest strive not to judge or to be judge by the ignorant and confused, but to make honest assessments, and abide in honest and respectful communion.''' Many remain so ignorant and confused about the nature of themselves and others and Reality itself that they believe this demands some form of absolute or absolutist control by someone. I am one of those who assert that such is a delusion of those most desiring excuses and reasons for their impulses to absolutely disregard the values and worth of others. '''The wisest know that ALL things have worth — and that NO thing has absolutely equal worth to ANY other — though in a truly just society of human beings ALL must have equal rights to assert and develop what worth they have.''' Such is the socially proper form of freedom known as [[Liberty]] — where all recognize the right of all to differ to the degree they feel proper — and thus no one accepts the presumption of ANYONE that they have the right or need to dictate to others what they MUST do, and where differences do arise sufficient to form clear hostilities of will, these should generally be acknowledged, but among the wise, ways to harmonize rather than conflict will be sought, and agreements reached as to what is best in any circumstances. It is only the very foolish who tend to hold that formulas can or must always be developed to determine what is &quot;best&quot; for all — usually these are little more than the ways to disguise from others and oneself one's presumptions or assumptions that what one desires oneself is best for all. Such formulas CAN be useful, and even necessary to develop many determinations of what is better or worse in various ways within any circumstances, but the wise know they should never be relied on AS IF they were ABSOLUTE.&lt;br&gt;  A maintaining of the balances of what can or must be known or cannot yet be properly recognized and understood by themselves or others is nearly always of concern to the wise, but also always a desire and urge to promote awareness and appreciation among all of what usually can be recognized and accepted as truly beautiful and beautifully true by most.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;small&gt; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Yorkshire rose.svg|44px]]&lt;p&gt;'''The imperialist [[ideology]] of [[force]], from whatever side it comes, must be shattered for [[all]] [[time]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[White Rose|The White Rose]] ~
&lt;/div&gt;
==== &amp;nbsp; ====
[[File:Anonymous Idea.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''THE [[Corruption|CORRUPT]] [[Fear|FEAR]] [[Angels|US]] · THE [[Honesty|HONEST]] SUPPORT [[Anonymity|US]] · THE [[Heroism|HEROIC]] JOIN [[Absurdism|US]].''' &lt;!-- I certainly do NOT and CANNOT agree with ALL members of ANONYMOUS or accept or condone all of their overt or covert aims, actions or statements — but I respect them as a RAPIDLY EVOLVING and SWIFTLY ACTING community of Human Beings among whom are many who ARE developing a devotion to Liberating and Helping HUMANITY — as opposed to imposing MECHANISTIC and LEGALISTIC BINDINGS upon the Human Soul and Human lives. ~ Kalki --&gt;
| author = [[Anonymous (group)‎‎|ANONYMOUS]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Anarco logo Wikiquote.svg|44px]]  &lt;br&gt; '''My [[Politics|political]] [[opinions]] lean more and more to [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] '''…[[Philosophy|philosophically]] understood, meaning abolition of control … '''The most improper [[job]] of any man … is bossing other men.''' Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the [[opportunity]].'''
| author = J. R. R. Tolkien
}}
[[File:Yggdrasil.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[Science|sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's [[life]], lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the [[Individualism|individual]] towards [[freedom]].
| author = Albert Einstein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man's right to [[Knowledge|know]], to [[Learning|learn]], to inquire, to make bona fide [[errors]], to investigate [[human]] [[emotions]] must, by all means, be safe, if the word [[Freedom|FREEDOM]] should ever be more than an empty political slogan.
| author = Wilhelm Reich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our [[freedom]] to [[doubt]] was born out of a struggle against [[authority]] in the early days of [[science]]. It was a very deep and strong struggle: permit us to question — to doubt — to not be sure. I think that it is important that we do not forget this struggle and thus perhaps lose what we have gained.
| author = Richard Feynman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not [[know]] what I may [[appear]] to the [[world]], but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the [[sea]]-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great [[ocean]] of [[truth]] lay all undiscovered before me.
| author = Isaac Newton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The practical reason for [[freedom]] is that freedom seems to be the only condition under which any kind of substantial [[moral]] fiber can be developed — we have tried [[law]], compulsion and [[authoritarianism]] of various kinds, and the result is [[nothing]] to be [[proud]] of. 
| author = Albert Jay Nock
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[liberties]] of none are safe unless the liberties of all are [[protected]].
| author = William O. Douglas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Art]] is the [[symbol]] of the two noblest [[human]] [[efforts]]: to construct and to refrain from destruction.
| author = Simone Weil
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If we win here we will win everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; The [[world]] is a fine place and worth the [[fighting]] for and I hate very much to leave it.'''
| author = [[Ernest Hemingway]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[w:For Whom the Bell Tolls|For Whom the Bell Tolls]]'' 
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the [[world]].'''
| author = Archimedes
}} 
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Always do [[right]]. &lt;br /&gt; This will gratify some [[people]], and astonish the rest.
| author = Mark Twain
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''' Whatever pretended [[pessimists]] in search of [[Fame|notoriety]] may say, most [[people]] are [[naturally]] [[kind]], at [[heart]].
| author = James Branch Cabell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I understand the most profound and simplest [[Truth]] of all: Any [[time]] any of us reaches out, any time we pour even a drop of [[love]], [[compassion]], simple human decency (no matter how small; how seemingly insignificant) into the [[sea]] of earthly existence — we are, each and every one of us — the being called [[Mercy]].
| author = J. M. DeMatteis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you ever injected [[truth]] into [[politics]] you'd have [[Anarchism|no politics]].
| author = Will Rogers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Political]] [[language]] — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from [[Conservatives]] to [[Anarchists]] — is designed to make [[lies]] sound truthful and [[murder]] respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure [[wind]].
| author = George Orwell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be deceived by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] ...Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I remain certain that the quest for [[truth]] cannot thrive outside the nourishment of mutual trust flowering into a commitment to [[friendship]].
| author = Ivan Illich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The highest of generalizations is the synergetic integration of [[truth]] and [[love]].
| author = Buckminster Fuller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not [[believe]] in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious [[books]]. Do not believe in anything merely on the [[authority]] of your [[teachers]] and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with [[reason]] and is conducive to the [[good]] and benefit of one and [[all]], then accept it and [[live]] up to it.
| author = [[Gautama Buddha|Gautama]] [[w:Buddhahood|Buddha]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
| author = Pythagoras
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Ye shall [[Knowledge|know]] the [[truth]], and the truth shall make you [[Freedom|free]].
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]] ([[Christ|Jesus Christ]])
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A new commandment I give unto you, That ye [[love]] one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[All]] those who listen to me shall pass on my [[words]] to others and those to others again; and may the last ones [[understand]] my words better than those who listen to me directly.
| author = [[Muhammad]] [[w:Peace be upon him (Islam)|(SAW)]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''As men's habits of [[mind]] differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of [[faith]], some another, for what moves one to [[pray]] may move another to scoff, I conclude ... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits; each would then obey [[God]] freely with his whole [[heart]], while nothing would be publicly honoured save [[justice]] and [[charity]].
| author = Baruch Spinoza
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] is only [[Door|where you let Him in]].
| author = Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are [[worlds]] beyond worlds and [[times]] beyond times, [[all]] of them true, all of them [[real]], and all of them (as [[children]] [[know]]) penetrating each other.
| author = P. L. Travers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Objective [[knowledge]], the [[idea]] of [[unity]] included, belongs to objective consciousness. The forms which express this knowledge when perceived by subjective consciousness are inevitably distorted and, instead of [[truth]], they create more and more delusions.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]] speak about [[death]] during this [[life]] on [[earth]]. Death must come before rebirth. But what must die? False [[confidence]] in one’s own [[knowledge]], [[self]]-love and [[egoism]]. Our egoism must be broken. We must realize that we are very complicated machines, and so this process of breaking is bound to be a long and difficult task. Before real [[growth]] becomes possible, our [[personality]] must die.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[Truth]] Shall Make Ye Fret.
| author = Terry Pratchett
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''All [[Faith]] is false, all Faith is true: [[Truth]] is the shattered mirror strown &lt;br&gt; In myriad bits; while each [[believes]] his little bit the whole to own.''
| author = Richard Francis Burton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Opinions]] alter, manners [[change]], creeds rise and fall, but the [[moral]] [[law]] is written on the tablets of [[eternity]].
| author = James Anthony Froude
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[spirit]] of [[truth]] and the spirit of [[freedom]] — these are the pillars of [[society]].
| author = Henrik Ibsen
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''When one has once fully entered the realm of [[Love]], the [[world]] — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for Love.
| author = Søren Kierkegaard
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I think of few [[heroic]] [[actions]], which cannot be traced to the [[Art|artistical]] impulse. He who does great [[deeds]], does them from his innate sensitiveness to [[moral]] [[beauty]].
| author = Walt Whitman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Sin]] lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other &quot;sins&quot; are invented [[nonsense]].
| author = Robert A. Heinlein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We don't beat [[Death|the reaper]] by living longer, but by living well, and living fully — for the reaper will come for all of us. The question is: what do we do between the time we're born and the time he shows up.
| author = Randy Pausch
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not wait for the [[Last Judgment]]. It takes place every [[day]].
| author = Albert Camus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've always attempted to keep a mature outlook, but I cannot deny there have been lapses; I once possessed a whoopie cushion — I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was still there.
| author = [[w:Rowan Atkinson|Inspector Raymond C. Fowler]] in ''[[The Thin Blue Line (TV series)|The Thin Blue Line]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Eternity|Always]] postpone meetings with [[time]]-wasting [[morons]].
| author = Scott Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the [[universe]]; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the [[rules]], and who [[smiles]] ''[[Eternity|all the time]]''.
| author = ''[[Good Omens]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with [[Brahman|the ineffable itself]], and see if we may not eff it after all.
| author = Douglas Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All statements are true in some [[sense]], false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
| author = ''[[Principia Discordia]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized [[agnosticism]], not agnosticism about [[God]] alone, but agnosticism about [[The All|everything]].
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Awareness|Consciousness]] is the ultimate [[Reality]]; compared with it, all else is illusion.''' 
| author = Harold W. Percival
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There's never been a true [[war]] that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the [[right]]. The really [[dangerous]] [[people]] [[believe]] they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
| author = Neil Gaiman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Ideas]], unlike solid structures, do not perish. They remain immortal, immaterial and everywhere, like all Divine things. Ideas are a golden, savage landscape that we wander unaware, without a map. Be careful: in the last analysis, [[reality]] may be exactly what we think it is.
| author = Alan Moore
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Each man and woman defines the [[world]] about them, creating a set of those things which they consider &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;[[good]]&quot; and &quot;[[evil]]&quot; and &quot;sympathetic&quot; and &quot;likable,&quot; and these are damned indomitable walls. They are high and thick, and it is the task of the [[writer]] to penetrate or scale them.
| author = Caitlín R. Kiernan
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The layman always means, when he says &quot;[[reality]]&quot; that he is speaking of something [[self]]-evidently known; whereas to me it seems the most important and exceedingly difficult task of our [[time]] is to [[work]] on the construction of a new [[idea]] of reality.
| author = Wolfgang Pauli
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The existing scientific concepts cover always only a very limited part of [[reality]], and the other part that has not yet been understood is [[infinite]].
| author = Werner Heisenberg
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced [[ideas]] will be readily taken up. His work is like that of the planter — for the [[future]]. His [[duty]] is to lay the foundation for those who are to come, and point the way. He [[lives]] and [[labors]] and [[hopes]].
| author = Nikola Tesla
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Although to penetrate into the intimate [[mysteries]] of [[nature]] and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena.
| author = Leonhard Euler
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Dudeism|Don't Take Anything Personally]]. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [[reality]], their own [[dream]].
| author = Don Miguel Ruiz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Happiness]] exists on [[earth]], and it is won through prudent exercise of [[reason]], [[knowledge]] of the [[harmony]] of the [[universe]], and constant practice of [[generosity]].
| author = José Martí
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I build no [[system]]. I ask an end to privilege, the abolition of [[slavery]], [[equality]] of [[rights]], and the reign of [[law]]. [[Justice]], nothing else; that is the alpha and omega of my argument: to others I leave the [[business]] of governing the [[world]].
| author = Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I am an Anarchist not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Liberty]] is always [[dangerous]], but it is the safest thing we have.
| author = Harry Emerson Fosdick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I still believe that [[peace]] and plenty and [[happiness]] can be worked out some way. I am a [[fool]].
| author = Kurt Vonnegut
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've never seen anybody really find the answer, but they think they have. So they stop thinking. But the job is to seek [[mystery]], evoke mystery, plant a [[garden]] in which [[strange]] plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.
| author = Ken Kesey
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not want the [[peace]] that [[Brahman|passeth understanding]]. I want the [[understanding]] which [[Tao|bringeth peace]].
| author = Helen Keller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Pain]] is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
| author = Lance Armstrong
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster [[cruelty]]; more abominable is the fact that they foster [[idiocy]].
| author = Jorge Luis Borges
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are two kinds of fools: one says, &quot;This is old, therefore it is [[good]]&quot;; the other says, &quot;This is new, therefore it is better.&quot;
| author = William Ralph Inge
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If your [[morals]] make you dreary, depend upon it they are [[wrong]]. I do not say &quot;give them up,&quot; for they may be all you have; but conceal them like a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler [[people]].
| author = Robert Louis Stevenson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man seeks, in his manhood, not orders, not [[laws]] and peremptory dogmas, but counsel from one who is earnest in [[goodness]] and [[faithful]] in [[friendship]], making man free.
| author = Dietrich Bonhoeffer
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Long live [[freedom]] and damn the [[ideologies]].
| author = Robinson Jeffers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding [[wonder]] meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the [[heart]] with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater [[miracles]], and superber trophies than all the [[stars]] in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. 
| author = Herman Melville
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I have been all men known to [[history]],&lt;br&gt; Wondering at the [[world]] and at [[time]] passing;&lt;br&gt; I have seen [[evil]], and the [[light]] [[blessing]]&lt;br&gt; Innocent [[love]] under a spring [[sky]].'' 
| author = R. S. Thomas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All men [[dream]]: but not equally. Those who dream by [[night]] in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the [[day]] to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are [[dangerous]] men, for they may [[act]] their dreams with open [[eyes]], to make it possible. This I did.
| author = T. E. Lawrence
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Way of the Warrior has been misunderstood. It is not a means to kill and destroy others. Those who seek to compete and better one another are making a terrible [[mistake]]. To smash, injure, or destroy is the worst thing a human being can do. The real Way of a Warrior is to prevent such slaughter — it is the [[Art]] of [[Peace]], the [[power]] of [[love]].
| author = Morihei Ueshiba
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our armament must be adequate to the needs, but our [[faith]] is not primarily in these machines of defense but in [[Humanity|ourselves]].
| author = Chester W. Nimitz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
| author = George S. Patton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Victorious warriors win first and then go to [[war]], while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
| author = Sun Tzu
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I never learned how to tune a harp, or play upon a lute; but I know how to raise a small and inconsiderable city to [[glory]] and [[greatness]].
| author = Themistocles
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is always safe to [[learn]], even from our enemies, seldom safe to venture to instruct, even our [[friends]].
| author = Charles Caleb Colton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you make people [[think]] they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll [[hate]] you.'''
| author = Don Marquis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''To [[joke]] in the face of [[danger]] is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic [[hero]].
| author = Edmond Rostand
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The pessimist is commonly spoken of as the man in revolt. He is not. Firstly, because it requires some cheerfulness to continue in revolt, and secondly, because [[pessimism]] appeals to the [[Weakness|weaker]] side of everybody, and the pessimist, therefore, drives as roaring a trade as the publican. The person who is really in revolt is the [[optimist]], who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade all the other [[people]] how [[Goodness|good]] they are. It has been proved a hundred times over that if you really wish to enrage people and make them [[angry]], even unto [[death]], the right way to do it is to tell them that they are all the sons of [[God]].
| author = G. K. Chesterton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen.
| author = Robert Nozick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If [[God]] be [[All|God]] and man a creature made in image of the divine intelligence, his noblest function is the search for [[truth]].
| author = Morris West
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Cosmos|All things]] are in [[all]].
| author = Giordano Bruno
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is wise to listen, not to me but to [[w:Logos|the Word]], and to confess that [[all]] [[Unity|things are one]].
| author = Heraclitus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are very many [[Semiotics|signs]] that, being, is uncreated and imperishable, whole, unique, unwavering, and complete.
| author = Parmenides
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''&quot;[[Fire]]&quot; does not matter, &quot;[[earth]]&quot; and &quot;[[air]]&quot; and &quot;[[water]]&quot; do not matter. [[Self|&quot;I&quot; do not matter]]. No [[word]] matters. But man forgets [[reality]] and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the [[great]] [[transformations]] of the [[world]], but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their [[names]] come to his lips and he [[smiles]] as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a [[miracle]].
| author =  [[Roger Zelazny]] in ''[[Lord of Light]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[law]] of [[love]] is in accord with the [[nature]] of [[man]]. But men can only recognize this [[truth]] to its full extent when they have completely freed themselves from all [[religious]] and [[scientific]] [[superstitions]] and from all the consequent misrepresentations and sophistical distortions by which its recognition has been hindered for centuries.
| author = Leo Tolstoy
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen.&lt;br&gt; I don't know when,&lt;br&gt;But just saying it could even make it happen.'' 
| author = Kate Bush
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: [[Love]], and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy [[peace]], through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can [[nothing]] spring but what is [[good]].
| author = Augustine of Hippo
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''For the tender [[love]] that our good Lord hath to all that shall be saved, He comforteth readily and sweetly, signifying thus: ''It is sooth that [[sin]] is [[cause]] of all this [[pain]]; but [[all]] shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be [[Health|well]].''
| author = Julian of Norwich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We must move into the [[universe]]. [[Mankind]] must save itself. We must escape the [[danger]] of [[war]] and [[politics]]. We must become astronauts and go out into the universe and discover [[God|the God]] in ourselves.
| author = Ray Bradbury
}}
&lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Oedipus at Colonus.jpg|link=Irony|144px]]  &lt;br&gt; &quot;I conclude that '''[[all]] is well''',&quot; says [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus]], and '''that remark is [[sacred]]'''. [[Irony|It '''echoes''' in the wild and limited]] [[universe]] of man. It teaches that [[all]] is not, has not been, exhausted.  &lt;br&gt; [[File:Yoism symbol.svg|link=Dudeism|44px]]
| author = Albert Camus
}}
&lt;center&gt;
[[File:Sir Edward Burne Jones - The tree of forgiveness.jpeg|144px|center]]
'''[[Forgiveness]] does not change the [[past]], but it does enlarge the [[future]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ Paul Boese ~ &lt;!-- as quoted in ''Quote :The Weekly Digest'', Vol. 53, No. 8 (19 February 1967), p. 14 --&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Ibaraki Kasugaoka Church light cross.jpg|144px]]&lt;p&gt;'''[[File:Herz mit Pfeil thresh 90.svg|link=Love|44px]]&lt;big&gt; +  &lt;/big&gt; &amp;nbsp;  [[File:Peace symbol.svg|link=Peace|29px]]  &lt;big&gt; = &lt;/big&gt; [[Information|INFORMATION]]&lt;br&gt; '''I don't think [[time]] matters much if you're a [[w:List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Ted_Brautigan|Breaker]].'''
| author = [[Stephen King]] in ''[[w:Hearts in Atlantis|Hearts in Atlantis]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A [[dream]] you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is [[reality]].
| author = Yoko Ono
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''We all been playing those [[mind]] games forever &lt;br&gt; Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil. &lt;br&gt; Doing the mind guerrilla, &lt;br&gt;  Some call it [[magic]] — ''the search for the [[Holy Grail|grail]]''. &lt;p&gt; [[Love]] is the answer and you know that for sure. &lt;br&gt; Love is a flower, you got to let it — you got to let it grow.  &lt;p&gt; So keep on playing those mind games together &lt;br&gt; Doing the ritual dance in the [[sun]]. &lt;br&gt; Millions of mind guerrillas &lt;br&gt; Putting their ''soul power'' to the karmic wheel. &lt;p&gt; ''Yes'' is the answer and you know that for sure.'''
| author = John Lennon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Truth lies not in the Yes and not in the No, but in the knowledge and the beginning from which the Yes and the No arise.
| author = Karl Barth
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''After the final no there comes a yes &lt;br&gt; And on that yes the future world depends. &lt;br&gt; [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|144px]] &lt;br&gt; No was the night. &lt;br&gt; Yes is this present sun.
| author = Wallace Stevens
}}
[[File:Irish clover.jpg|44px]]&lt;/center&gt;

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
'''[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]''': [[Tao]] · [[Love]] · [[Peace]] · [[Humility]] · [[Courage]] · [[Honesty]] · [[Compassion]] · [[Friendship]] 

'''[[List_of_literary_works|Works]]:''' ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]] · [[The Ballad of the White Horse]] · [[Books of Magic]] · [[Dune]] · [[The Four Quartets]] · [[The God of Small Things]] · [[Idylls of the King]] · [[Leaves of Grass]] · [[Les Miserables]] · [[The Lord of the Rings]] · [[Mercy (Vertigo)|Mercy]] · [[Nineteen Eighty-Four]] · [[One Minute Nonsense]] · [[Principia Discordia]] · [[The Prophet]] · [[The Sandman|The San∂man]] · [[The Ship that Flew‎‎]] · [[The Silmarillion]] · [[Stranger In A Strange Land]] · [[William Shakespeare|The Works of William Shakespeare]] · [[A Tale of Two Cities]] · [[Through the Looking-Glass]]''

'''[[List_of_people_by_name|People]]''': [[Douglas Adams]] · [[Eden Ahbez]] · [[Isaac Asimov]] · [[Richard Bach]] · [[Baha'u'llah]] · [[Black Elk]] · [[Emily Brontë]] · [[Thomas Browne]] · [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] · [[Robert Browning]] · [[Gautama Buddha]] · [[Richard Francis Burton]] · [[Leo Buscaglia]] · [[John Carder Bush]] · [[Kate Bush]] · [[G. K. Chesterton]] · [[Winston Churchill]] · [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] · [[Confucius]] · [[Emily Dickinson]] · [[John Donne]] · [[Bob Dylan]] · [[Meister Eckhart]] · [[Albert Einstein]] · [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]] · [[George Eliot]] · [[T. S. Eliot]] · [[Buckminster Fuller]] · [[Eleanor Farjeon]] · [[William Faulkner]] · [[Richard Feynman]] · [[Benjamin Franklin]] · [[Robert Frost]] · [[Neil Gaiman]] · [[Mohandas Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]] · [[Hermann Göring]] · [[Stephen Grellet]] · [[Robert Heinlein]] *[[Ernest Hemingway]] · [[Frank Herbert]] · [[Douglas Hofstadter]] · [[Elbert Hubbard]] · [[Aldous Huxley]] · [[Thomas Jefferson]] · [[Jesus Christ]] · [[Chief Joseph]] · [[Julian|The Emperor Julian]] · [[Julian of Norwich]] · [[Helen Keller]] · [[John F. Kennedy]] · [[Martin Luther King]] · [[Stephen King]] · [[C. S. Lewis]] · [[Abraham Lincoln]] · [[Marcus Aurelius]] · [[Andrew Marvell]] · [[Groucho Marx]] · [[Anthony de Mello]] · [[H. L. Mencken]] · [[Jim Morrison]] · [[Muhammad]] · [[Isaac Newton]] · [[Reinhold Niebuhr]] · [[Martin Niemöller]] · [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] · [[Anaïs Nin]] · [[Joshua A. Norton|Emperor Norton I]] · [[Thomas Paine]] · [[Louis Pasteur]] · [[Emo Phillips]] · [[Max Planck]] · [[Edgar Allan Poe]] · [[Yitzhak Rabin]] · [[Spider Robinson]] · [[Eleanor Roosevelt]] · [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]] · [[Theodore Roosevelt]] · [[Arundhati Roy]] · [[Bertrand Russell]] · [[Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf]] · [[Antoine de Saint-Exupery]] · [[George Santayana]] · [[Dr. Seuss]] · [[William Shakespeare]] · [[George Bernard Shaw]] · [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]] · [[Robert Louis Stevenson]] · [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]] · [[Henry David Thoreau]] · [[Mark Twain]] · [[Leonardo da Vinci]] · [[Voltaire]] · [[Andy Warhol]] · [[Bill Watterson]] · [[Morris West]] · [[Walt Whitman]] · [[Ella Wheeler Wilcox]] · [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]] · [[William Butler Yeats]]

'''[[List_of_films|Films]]:''' ''[[Groundhog Day]] · [[Harvey]] · [[It's a Wonderful Life]] · [[L. A. Confidential]] · [[The Matrix]] · [[The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)]] · [[They Might Be Giants]]''

'''[[List of theatrical plays and musicals|Theatrical Plays and Musicals]]:''' [[Into the Woods]] 

'''[[List of categories|Other Categrories]]: [[Quote of the Day archive|Quote of the Day Archives]] · [[Famous last words]] · [[Epitaphs]] · [[List of advertising slogans|Famous Advertising Slogans]] · [[Television Shows|TV Shows]] · [[Electronic Games]] · [[List of proverbs|Folk Proverbs]] · List of [[Wikiquote:Wikiquotians|Wikiquotians]] · [[Wikiquote:Utilities|Utilities]] · [[Wikiquote:Village pump|Village pump]] · [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]'''

Most of the above are listed because they contain gems of positive inspiration, but some worthy articles such as ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' provide a reminder of how nightmarish the misguided ''can'' be, and of such harm as ''can'' be done to individuals and to society whenever Liberty, Truth, and Love are not paramount concerns. There is always immense tragedy wherever the levels of oppression, dishonesty, and hatred of vital impulses that people are willing to manifest are the primary means to obtaining status, power, comfort, —and such ''apparent'' personal &quot;safety&quot; as exists without regard for the beauty or '''''[[w:Reality|reality]]''''' of the '''''[[w:Eternity|eternal]] [[w:Soul|soul]]''''' which manifests ''only'' through '''[[Love]]'''.

Certainly many famous people, important [[:Category:Themes|themes]], major literary works, and motion pictures remain to be added, and even more categories can be developed. 

I was long one of the administrators here, which never gave me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided. 
{{List of admins}}
'''These are the people to contact if you observe any recurring abuse of Wikiquote privileges, and feel a user should be blocked or a page protected from edits, or a page deleted.''' Many of these people are no longer very active here, but I intend to be around most days, and remain involved to the extent which I can. Luckily, the problems that have occurred here thus far have been relatively minor, and some apparent abuse might have been accidents or novices to wikis amazed that they are actually permitted to do edits to the pages without the prior approval of anyone. Those who persist in vandalizing the wiki (or the wiki ''process'' itself, with the accumulation or development of needless rules or presumptions of authority), will need to be dealt with more vigorously, through various means of non-violent [[w:Direct action|direct action]].

I intend to do at least a little work on this project on most days; copying, editing, and formatting many quotations from many diverse authors and sources, and to simply observe the progress of it, and expect that ''many'' people will eventually be inspired to contribute an extensive amount to this developing compendium of wit and wisdom.

I do not intend to always respond promptly to queries and comments, but sometimes might just be carefully formulating my response in a way that takes into account the many considerations that I believe should be involved in any decisions upon many matters.

'''I send my best of wishes to all those who are prompted to increase the awareness potentials of themselves and others in respectful and beneficial ways. 

There are some truths that I feel are rarely expressed or repeated often enough, and are too seldom thought upon by many, so I will end as I began, quoting a small portion of what I can remember from a childhood dream; one of the slight variants of the statement with which I began, and which my soul continually affirms: 

:: '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which all else derives its worth.'''
:::::::~ '''''[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]''''' ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 01:44, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #B0C4DE; background-color: #B0C4DE;&quot;&gt; '''This is the primary account of Kalki, who has also used many other account-names here, some since the very first days of this Wiki.''' &lt;p&gt; &lt;big&gt; &lt;big&gt; &quot;If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it.&quot; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;br&gt; '''Foundational Principles against overly-controlling forces developing on the wikis.''' &lt;br&gt; Even if you have read them before, PLEASE EXAMINE ANEW: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Ignore all rules|Wikipedia:Ignore all rules]]''', and the other links available there, including [[w:Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not#Wikipedia_is_not_a_democracy|the links delineating much which Wikipedia was NOT]].''' &lt;br&gt; These were some of the earliest directives established by the founding workers on the Wikimedia projects. &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;'''Ignore all rules: If rules make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the wiki, then ignore them entirely and go about your business.'''&quot; ~ [[w:Wikipedia:Historical archive/RulesToConsider|RulesToConsider]] &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Ignore_all_rules&amp;diff=70516723 IAR is policy, always has been]&quot; ~ Wikipedia founder [[Jimmy Wales]]
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;'''I am one of the administrators here, which doesn't give me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided.''' I am in a period of very intermittent but gradually developing activity here, and follow no set schedule. &lt;!-- A devotion to preserving and expanding many forms of [[Awareness]], [[Life]], [[Love]] and appreciation of the principles of [[Justice]], [[Unity]] [[Liberty]] and [[Joyous]] [[Universalist]] [[Love]] in truly profound and genuine ways far beyond that of lip-service, based on an intense commitment to the crucial [[virtues]] of [[humility]], [[courage]], [[honesty]] and [[compassion]], continues to guide me and abide with me. --&gt;  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 03:26, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
==  &lt;center&gt; Ω &lt;/center&gt;   ==
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Wikipedia-logo A pt.svg|44px]]&lt;br&gt; '''If [[rules]] make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the Wiki, then ignore them and go about your [[business]].'''
| author = Lee Daniel Crocker
}}
[[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|23px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  '''I am an [[:Category:Anarchists|Anarchist]] not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.'''
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
[[File:AforAnarcho.svg|link=Anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = I told you when I came I was a [[stranger]].
| author = Leonard Cohen
}}[[File:Übersicht der Fundamentalteilchen.svg|44px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; [[File:D06 strange.jpg|44px|center]] --&gt; 
&lt;!-- [[File:Smiley.svg|29px|center]] [[File:The Comedian weapons.jpg|144px|center]] --&gt;
&lt;center&gt;You know when you have a [[dream]] and you're half-awake, but still in the fringe of your [[brain]] …&lt;br&gt;  then you open your [[eyes]] and you're so damned glad it was a dream? &lt;br&gt; '''[[Cosmos|This]] was ''[[Nothing|NOTHING]]'' like that.''' &lt;br&gt; &lt;small&gt; ~ &lt;!-- Wesley Allan Gibson (WAG)--&gt;[[Wanted (2008 film)|Wesley, son of Cross, in ''Wanted'']] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monkey 2.svg|44px]] &lt;p&gt; '''[[The All|The movie]] never changes.''' &lt;br /&gt;  '''It can't [[change]]'''; but every [[time]] you [[Vision|see]] it, it seems different because '''[[Self|you're different]].''' &lt;br /&gt; '''You see different things.'''
| author = [[Bruce Willis|J. C.]] ~&lt;br /&gt;  in &lt;br /&gt; ~ ''[[12 Monkeys]]''
}}
[[File:Quark structure omega.svg|29px|center]] 
[[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|11px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|23px|center]][[File:Peace sign.svg|link= Peace|29px|center]][[File:A+O.svg|link= Christian anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  [[File:Dudeism.svg|link=Tao|44px]]  &lt;p&gt; '''[[Dudeism|The Dude abides]].'''  &lt;br&gt; I don't [[know]] about you but I take [[comfort]] in that.  &lt;br&gt;  It's [[good]] [[Knowledge|knowin']] he's out there.  &lt;br&gt; [[Humanity|The Dude]].  &lt;br&gt; Takin' 'er easy for all us [[Sin|sinners]].
| author = [[Angel|The]] [[Stranger]] ~&lt;br&gt; in  &lt;br&gt;~ ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''
}}
__TOC__
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
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{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
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{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
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&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt; 
: Before agreeing to defer to an IMPOSITION to restrict editing here ONLY to the '''Kalki''' account, until such a time as the issues involved could be more thoroughly addressed and decided upon, in order to lift a [[User:Kalki/Outrages_of_October_-_November_2010#Administrative_action_against_user_Kalki_in_this_matter|PLAINLY IMPROPER and POLICY VIOLATING BLOCK]] by {{user|Cirt}}, this user had additionally made well over '''11,444''' ''contributive'' edits using many other names, for a present count of well over '''147,000''' edits in all. MANY of these names and associated restored userpage messages have been salvaged from defacement at '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]'''''. MANY of the thousands of articles either created or significantly worked upon by this user are listed at '''[[User:Kalki/index|Kalki/index]]. ·

{{userpage|Kalki}}</text>
      <sha1>pi2472bgaayem4klag3o63jv038x9ll</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154750</id>
      <parentid>3154749</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T00:58:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>tweak</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="57807" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Monad.svg|link= The All|11px|center]][[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|link= Mysticism|88px|center]][[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|14px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; ༜ &lt;br&gt; [[File:DBC-Hope.jpg|44px|center]]   [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Peace|23px|center]] --&gt;  
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;[[File:Rainbow diagram.svg|link= Rainbows||126px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link= Kenosis|38px|center]]
[[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|thumb|right|'''[[Self-awareness|I expect to pass]] through this [[world]] but once.''' If, therefore, there be any [[kindness]] I can show, or any [[good]] thing I can do [[Humanity|any fellow human being]] let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for '''I will not pass this way again.''' ~ [[Quaker]] saying, usually attributed to [[Stephen Grellet]] ]] [[Image:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|left|'''[[Love]]''' is in my [[beginning]] and my [[ending]]. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of [[The All|ALL]] which IS. ~ [[Kalki]] ]] [[File:Caduceus 1924.svg|144px|link=Awareness|center]][[File:Quaker Peace Star.png|123px|center]][[File:True Blue Unicorns.svg|444px|center]]
&lt;center&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Caput Memento.png|link=Absurdism|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Felix Cat-Haha.svg|link=Laughter|52px]] [[File:Psi and Caduceus.svg|link=Psychology|58px]] [[File:Walking Felix.gif|link=Joy|52px]]&lt;p&gt;Everyone has a [[belief]] [[system]], B.S., the [[trick]] is to [[learn]] not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own.
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}&lt;!-- [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] [[File:Novus Ordo Seclorum.png|88px]] [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Horizontal ray.svg|link=Light|188px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]][[File:Watchmen Smiley.svg|23px]][[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]] [[w:A∴A∴|A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]] [[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici| --&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Circumpunct.svg|link= Unity|42px]] &lt;br&gt; [[File:Polytat.svg|link= Love|123px]]&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;[[File:Invisible Pink Unicorn Dexter.svg|88px]] [[File:Visible Green Unicorn.svg|88px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Wingedglobe2.svg|222px]]&lt;br&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 3.jpg|144px]]&lt;br&gt; [[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|144px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Eternity|29px]] [[File:A+O.svg|link= Anarchism|29px]] [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|29px]] [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Chaos|29px]] [[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link= Peace|29px]]

::&lt;!--  '''[[Love]]''' is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Awareness]]''' receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Life]]''' itself receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''[[Love]] is the ultimate of holies, by which [[Universe|all else]] receives its worth.'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which All notions of ALL are sanctified and Blessed.  &lt;p&gt; What I say in 3 ways or 4, and indeed endless ways to tell you three times or more, endlessly is True.   &lt;p&gt; ~ ALL of US to ALL WE ARE --&gt;

This is a statement from a childhood dream which was actually expressed many times within the dream, in many ways, by many dream figures, with a few major variants that have stuck in my mind ever since, and which I have always thought both noteworthy and irrefutable. It was in such childhood dreams that I first envisioned a listing of many of the most important statements that have been made through the ages, and of calling it '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]'''''.

: In response to some activities and requests of which I am aware, I declare this assertion to be in the public domain, and that henceforth neither I nor any other person has any right to impede its expression, by anyone, in whatever ways they see fit, even if only to mock it. Mockeries of Love and Truth will forever pass into further mockeries and be forgotten or denied, but the Love and Truth and Beauty of such words will remain Eternal, beyond all denial. &lt;!-- Kalki 2008·12·24 19:44 --&gt;

: I assert that all people certainly have the right to disagree with it, or what little they can understand or misunderstand of it, so fully as their own consciences and reasons impel them to do, but that I and others also have the right to assert that in the ways which I or they understand it, it is irrefutable, and has been and can be an irrefutably important key to far more forms of awareness and appreciation of Reality and Life itself.

: I assert that there are many right ways to profoundly and beautifully understand it, and acknowledge that there are at least a few ways to profoundly and miserably misunderstand it, and to fail to appreciate many of the most profound and beautiful elements of its meaning and importance, but it is not my intention to elaborate upon them here.
&lt;!-- Silence on many things is a form of wisdom 2008·12·25 08:55 --&gt; 

'''All attempts to share wisdom with others is an expression of love for that which is truly essential.''' 

Even after more than eight years, we are all just at the beginning of this endeavor, and there is certainly a great deal left to be done. 
:I have started a user sub-page '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' to provide a summary of some of my activity here, as well as that of others. A ''few'' of my favorite quotes collected in the Wikiquote project, ''thus far'', are presented below, on this page. For more extensive listings of my favorites expressions and ideas see:
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''', a primarily chronological listing of authors or sources of quotes through the ages, 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' which includes selected quotes I had originally intended to present under various pseudonyms, or 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' which also permits a more extensive and personal commentary upon some quotes and ideas than would be appropriate within articles.
: '''[[Love]] is in my beginning and my ending. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of ALL which IS. &lt;br&gt; ''It IS the ALL which is''''' — &lt;br&gt; For All forms of Awareness, Life, and Love are formed by Love, and abide with Love and through Love, &lt;br&gt; In ways beyond ALL bounds of mortal minds. &lt;br&gt; '''WE ALL begin and end IN LOVE.'''  &lt;p&gt; '''It has been said that [[God]] IS Love, and that Love is ALL. &lt;br&gt; If so, what is there for the wise to hate but ignorance and confusion regarding such facts?''' &lt;br&gt;  Whether one believes that the Ultimate [[Reality]] is all-knowing or all-ignorant, ultimately meaningful or meaningless, alive or dead, or even can or cannot exist — or whether one can or cannot believe or KNOW such things to be significant speculations, many&lt;!-- of those capable of sufficient thought to desire more enduring forms of thought  --&gt; can assert that the wise ever strive to dispel and diminish ignorance and confusion in themselves and others, often transcending many forms of it with an ever abiding love. &lt;br&gt; Those who, at times, are most pathetically, tragically and dangerously ignorant and confused fall readily into fears which fuel hatreds and suspicions and their own lust to control or punish others, which they justify by observing or imagining and magnifying, exaggerating, how foul and loathsome others are, or &quot;must&quot; be — often exposing far more of their own propensities to the ways of needless destruction and error and terror than that which can ever truly be found in those they condemn. &lt;br&gt; '''[[Forgiveness]] is an imperative of the wise, and gentleness a strong desire — but they know that harshness must sometimes arise when injustices are denied or ignored, and people regularly believe or pretend to believe that many things are what they are NOT, or are not what they ARE.''' This very truth has often been twisted and misused by people accustomed to making the good seem evil and the evil seem good, in ways that are detrimental to ALL concerned. &lt;br&gt;  '''The wisest strive not to judge or to be judge by the ignorant and confused, but to make honest assessments, and abide in honest and respectful communion.''' Many remain so ignorant and confused about the nature of themselves and others and Reality itself that they believe this demands some form of absolute or absolutist control by someone. I am one of those who assert that such is a delusion of those most desiring excuses and reasons for their impulses to absolutely disregard the values and worth of others. '''The wisest know that ALL things have worth — and that NO thing has absolutely equal worth to ANY other — though in a truly just society of human beings ALL must have equal rights to assert and develop what worth they have.''' Such is the socially proper form of freedom known as [[Liberty]] — where all recognize the right of all to differ to the degree they feel proper — and thus no one accepts the presumption of ANYONE that they have the right or need to dictate to others what they MUST do, and where differences do arise sufficient to form clear hostilities of will, these should generally be acknowledged, but among the wise, ways to harmonize rather than conflict will be sought, and agreements reached as to what is best in any circumstances. It is only the very foolish who tend to hold that formulas can or must always be developed to determine what is &quot;best&quot; for all — usually these are little more than the ways to disguise from others and oneself one's presumptions or assumptions that what one desires oneself is best for all. Such formulas CAN be useful, and even necessary to develop many determinations of what is better or worse in various ways within any circumstances, but the wise know they should never be relied on AS IF they were ABSOLUTE.&lt;br&gt;  A maintaining of the balances of what can or must be known or cannot yet be properly recognized and understood by themselves or others is nearly always of concern to the wise, but also always a desire and urge to promote awareness and appreciation among all of what usually can be recognized and accepted as truly beautiful and beautifully true by most.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;small&gt; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Yorkshire rose.svg|44px]]&lt;p&gt;'''The imperialist [[ideology]] of [[force]], from whatever side it comes, must be shattered for [[all]] [[time]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[White Rose|The White Rose]] ~
==== &amp;nbsp; ====
[[File:Anonymous Idea.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''THE [[Corruption|CORRUPT]] [[Fear|FEAR]] [[Angels|US]] · THE [[Honesty|HONEST]] SUPPORT [[Anonymity|US]] · THE [[Heroism|HEROIC]] JOIN [[Absurdism|US]].''' &lt;!-- I certainly do NOT and CANNOT agree with ALL members of ANONYMOUS or accept or condone all of their overt or covert aims, actions or statements — but I respect them as a RAPIDLY EVOLVING and SWIFTLY ACTING community of Human Beings among whom are many who ARE developing a devotion to Liberating and Helping HUMANITY — as opposed to imposing MECHANISTIC and LEGALISTIC BINDINGS upon the Human Soul and Human lives. ~ Kalki --&gt;
| author = [[Anonymous (group)‎‎|ANONYMOUS]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Anarco logo Wikiquote.svg|44px]]  &lt;br&gt; '''My [[Politics|political]] [[opinions]] lean more and more to [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] '''…[[Philosophy|philosophically]] understood, meaning abolition of control … '''The most improper [[job]] of any man … is bossing other men.''' Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the [[opportunity]].'''
| author = J. R. R. Tolkien
}}
[[File:Yggdrasil.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[Science|sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's [[life]], lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the [[Individualism|individual]] towards [[freedom]].
| author = Albert Einstein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man's right to [[Knowledge|know]], to [[Learning|learn]], to inquire, to make bona fide [[errors]], to investigate [[human]] [[emotions]] must, by all means, be safe, if the word [[Freedom|FREEDOM]] should ever be more than an empty political slogan.
| author = Wilhelm Reich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our [[freedom]] to [[doubt]] was born out of a struggle against [[authority]] in the early days of [[science]]. It was a very deep and strong struggle: permit us to question — to doubt — to not be sure. I think that it is important that we do not forget this struggle and thus perhaps lose what we have gained.
| author = Richard Feynman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not [[know]] what I may [[appear]] to the [[world]], but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the [[sea]]-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great [[ocean]] of [[truth]] lay all undiscovered before me.
| author = Isaac Newton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The practical reason for [[freedom]] is that freedom seems to be the only condition under which any kind of substantial [[moral]] fiber can be developed — we have tried [[law]], compulsion and [[authoritarianism]] of various kinds, and the result is [[nothing]] to be [[proud]] of. 
| author = Albert Jay Nock
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[liberties]] of none are safe unless the liberties of all are [[protected]].
| author = William O. Douglas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Art]] is the [[symbol]] of the two noblest [[human]] [[efforts]]: to construct and to refrain from destruction.
| author = Simone Weil
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If we win here we will win everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; The [[world]] is a fine place and worth the [[fighting]] for and I hate very much to leave it.'''
| author = [[Ernest Hemingway]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[w:For Whom the Bell Tolls|For Whom the Bell Tolls]]'' 
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the [[world]].'''
| author = Archimedes
}} 
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Always do [[right]]. &lt;br /&gt; This will gratify some [[people]], and astonish the rest.
| author = Mark Twain
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''' Whatever pretended [[pessimists]] in search of [[Fame|notoriety]] may say, most [[people]] are [[naturally]] [[kind]], at [[heart]].
| author = James Branch Cabell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I understand the most profound and simplest [[Truth]] of all: Any [[time]] any of us reaches out, any time we pour even a drop of [[love]], [[compassion]], simple human decency (no matter how small; how seemingly insignificant) into the [[sea]] of earthly existence — we are, each and every one of us — the being called [[Mercy]].
| author = J. M. DeMatteis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you ever injected [[truth]] into [[politics]] you'd have [[Anarchism|no politics]].
| author = Will Rogers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Political]] [[language]] — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from [[Conservatives]] to [[Anarchists]] — is designed to make [[lies]] sound truthful and [[murder]] respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure [[wind]].
| author = George Orwell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be deceived by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] ...Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I remain certain that the quest for [[truth]] cannot thrive outside the nourishment of mutual trust flowering into a commitment to [[friendship]].
| author = Ivan Illich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The highest of generalizations is the synergetic integration of [[truth]] and [[love]].
| author = Buckminster Fuller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not [[believe]] in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious [[books]]. Do not believe in anything merely on the [[authority]] of your [[teachers]] and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with [[reason]] and is conducive to the [[good]] and benefit of one and [[all]], then accept it and [[live]] up to it.
| author = [[Gautama Buddha|Gautama]] [[w:Buddhahood|Buddha]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
| author = Pythagoras
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Ye shall [[Knowledge|know]] the [[truth]], and the truth shall make you [[Freedom|free]].
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]] ([[Christ|Jesus Christ]])
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A new commandment I give unto you, That ye [[love]] one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[All]] those who listen to me shall pass on my [[words]] to others and those to others again; and may the last ones [[understand]] my words better than those who listen to me directly.
| author = [[Muhammad]] [[w:Peace be upon him (Islam)|(SAW)]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''As men's habits of [[mind]] differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of [[faith]], some another, for what moves one to [[pray]] may move another to scoff, I conclude ... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits; each would then obey [[God]] freely with his whole [[heart]], while nothing would be publicly honoured save [[justice]] and [[charity]].
| author = Baruch Spinoza
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] is only [[Door|where you let Him in]].
| author = Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are [[worlds]] beyond worlds and [[times]] beyond times, [[all]] of them true, all of them [[real]], and all of them (as [[children]] [[know]]) penetrating each other.
| author = P. L. Travers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Objective [[knowledge]], the [[idea]] of [[unity]] included, belongs to objective consciousness. The forms which express this knowledge when perceived by subjective consciousness are inevitably distorted and, instead of [[truth]], they create more and more delusions.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]] speak about [[death]] during this [[life]] on [[earth]]. Death must come before rebirth. But what must die? False [[confidence]] in one’s own [[knowledge]], [[self]]-love and [[egoism]]. Our egoism must be broken. We must realize that we are very complicated machines, and so this process of breaking is bound to be a long and difficult task. Before real [[growth]] becomes possible, our [[personality]] must die.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[Truth]] Shall Make Ye Fret.
| author = Terry Pratchett
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''All [[Faith]] is false, all Faith is true: [[Truth]] is the shattered mirror strown &lt;br&gt; In myriad bits; while each [[believes]] his little bit the whole to own.''
| author = Richard Francis Burton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Opinions]] alter, manners [[change]], creeds rise and fall, but the [[moral]] [[law]] is written on the tablets of [[eternity]].
| author = James Anthony Froude
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[spirit]] of [[truth]] and the spirit of [[freedom]] — these are the pillars of [[society]].
| author = Henrik Ibsen
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''When one has once fully entered the realm of [[Love]], the [[world]] — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for Love.
| author = Søren Kierkegaard
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I think of few [[heroic]] [[actions]], which cannot be traced to the [[Art|artistical]] impulse. He who does great [[deeds]], does them from his innate sensitiveness to [[moral]] [[beauty]].
| author = Walt Whitman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Sin]] lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other &quot;sins&quot; are invented [[nonsense]].
| author = Robert A. Heinlein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We don't beat [[Death|the reaper]] by living longer, but by living well, and living fully — for the reaper will come for all of us. The question is: what do we do between the time we're born and the time he shows up.
| author = Randy Pausch
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not wait for the [[Last Judgment]]. It takes place every [[day]].
| author = Albert Camus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've always attempted to keep a mature outlook, but I cannot deny there have been lapses; I once possessed a whoopie cushion — I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was still there.
| author = [[w:Rowan Atkinson|Inspector Raymond C. Fowler]] in ''[[The Thin Blue Line (TV series)|The Thin Blue Line]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Eternity|Always]] postpone meetings with [[time]]-wasting [[morons]].
| author = Scott Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the [[universe]]; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the [[rules]], and who [[smiles]] ''[[Eternity|all the time]]''.
| author = ''[[Good Omens]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with [[Brahman|the ineffable itself]], and see if we may not eff it after all.
| author = Douglas Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All statements are true in some [[sense]], false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
| author = ''[[Principia Discordia]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized [[agnosticism]], not agnosticism about [[God]] alone, but agnosticism about [[The All|everything]].
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Awareness|Consciousness]] is the ultimate [[Reality]]; compared with it, all else is illusion.''' 
| author = Harold W. Percival
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There's never been a true [[war]] that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the [[right]]. The really [[dangerous]] [[people]] [[believe]] they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
| author = Neil Gaiman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Ideas]], unlike solid structures, do not perish. They remain immortal, immaterial and everywhere, like all Divine things. Ideas are a golden, savage landscape that we wander unaware, without a map. Be careful: in the last analysis, [[reality]] may be exactly what we think it is.
| author = Alan Moore
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Each man and woman defines the [[world]] about them, creating a set of those things which they consider &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;[[good]]&quot; and &quot;[[evil]]&quot; and &quot;sympathetic&quot; and &quot;likable,&quot; and these are damned indomitable walls. They are high and thick, and it is the task of the [[writer]] to penetrate or scale them.
| author = Caitlín R. Kiernan
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The layman always means, when he says &quot;[[reality]]&quot; that he is speaking of something [[self]]-evidently known; whereas to me it seems the most important and exceedingly difficult task of our [[time]] is to [[work]] on the construction of a new [[idea]] of reality.
| author = Wolfgang Pauli
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The existing scientific concepts cover always only a very limited part of [[reality]], and the other part that has not yet been understood is [[infinite]].
| author = Werner Heisenberg
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced [[ideas]] will be readily taken up. His work is like that of the planter — for the [[future]]. His [[duty]] is to lay the foundation for those who are to come, and point the way. He [[lives]] and [[labors]] and [[hopes]].
| author = Nikola Tesla
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Although to penetrate into the intimate [[mysteries]] of [[nature]] and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena.
| author = Leonhard Euler
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Dudeism|Don't Take Anything Personally]]. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [[reality]], their own [[dream]].
| author = Don Miguel Ruiz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Happiness]] exists on [[earth]], and it is won through prudent exercise of [[reason]], [[knowledge]] of the [[harmony]] of the [[universe]], and constant practice of [[generosity]].
| author = José Martí
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I build no [[system]]. I ask an end to privilege, the abolition of [[slavery]], [[equality]] of [[rights]], and the reign of [[law]]. [[Justice]], nothing else; that is the alpha and omega of my argument: to others I leave the [[business]] of governing the [[world]].
| author = Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I am an Anarchist not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Liberty]] is always [[dangerous]], but it is the safest thing we have.
| author = Harry Emerson Fosdick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I still believe that [[peace]] and plenty and [[happiness]] can be worked out some way. I am a [[fool]].
| author = Kurt Vonnegut
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've never seen anybody really find the answer, but they think they have. So they stop thinking. But the job is to seek [[mystery]], evoke mystery, plant a [[garden]] in which [[strange]] plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.
| author = Ken Kesey
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not want the [[peace]] that [[Brahman|passeth understanding]]. I want the [[understanding]] which [[Tao|bringeth peace]].
| author = Helen Keller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Pain]] is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
| author = Lance Armstrong
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster [[cruelty]]; more abominable is the fact that they foster [[idiocy]].
| author = Jorge Luis Borges
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are two kinds of fools: one says, &quot;This is old, therefore it is [[good]]&quot;; the other says, &quot;This is new, therefore it is better.&quot;
| author = William Ralph Inge
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If your [[morals]] make you dreary, depend upon it they are [[wrong]]. I do not say &quot;give them up,&quot; for they may be all you have; but conceal them like a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler [[people]].
| author = Robert Louis Stevenson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man seeks, in his manhood, not orders, not [[laws]] and peremptory dogmas, but counsel from one who is earnest in [[goodness]] and [[faithful]] in [[friendship]], making man free.
| author = Dietrich Bonhoeffer
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Long live [[freedom]] and damn the [[ideologies]].
| author = Robinson Jeffers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding [[wonder]] meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the [[heart]] with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater [[miracles]], and superber trophies than all the [[stars]] in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. 
| author = Herman Melville
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I have been all men known to [[history]],&lt;br&gt; Wondering at the [[world]] and at [[time]] passing;&lt;br&gt; I have seen [[evil]], and the [[light]] [[blessing]]&lt;br&gt; Innocent [[love]] under a spring [[sky]].'' 
| author = R. S. Thomas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All men [[dream]]: but not equally. Those who dream by [[night]] in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the [[day]] to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are [[dangerous]] men, for they may [[act]] their dreams with open [[eyes]], to make it possible. This I did.
| author = T. E. Lawrence
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Way of the Warrior has been misunderstood. It is not a means to kill and destroy others. Those who seek to compete and better one another are making a terrible [[mistake]]. To smash, injure, or destroy is the worst thing a human being can do. The real Way of a Warrior is to prevent such slaughter — it is the [[Art]] of [[Peace]], the [[power]] of [[love]].
| author = Morihei Ueshiba
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our armament must be adequate to the needs, but our [[faith]] is not primarily in these machines of defense but in [[Humanity|ourselves]].
| author = Chester W. Nimitz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
| author = George S. Patton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Victorious warriors win first and then go to [[war]], while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
| author = Sun Tzu
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I never learned how to tune a harp, or play upon a lute; but I know how to raise a small and inconsiderable city to [[glory]] and [[greatness]].
| author = Themistocles
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is always safe to [[learn]], even from our enemies, seldom safe to venture to instruct, even our [[friends]].
| author = Charles Caleb Colton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you make people [[think]] they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll [[hate]] you.'''
| author = Don Marquis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''To [[joke]] in the face of [[danger]] is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic [[hero]].
| author = Edmond Rostand
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The pessimist is commonly spoken of as the man in revolt. He is not. Firstly, because it requires some cheerfulness to continue in revolt, and secondly, because [[pessimism]] appeals to the [[Weakness|weaker]] side of everybody, and the pessimist, therefore, drives as roaring a trade as the publican. The person who is really in revolt is the [[optimist]], who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade all the other [[people]] how [[Goodness|good]] they are. It has been proved a hundred times over that if you really wish to enrage people and make them [[angry]], even unto [[death]], the right way to do it is to tell them that they are all the sons of [[God]].
| author = G. K. Chesterton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen.
| author = Robert Nozick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If [[God]] be [[All|God]] and man a creature made in image of the divine intelligence, his noblest function is the search for [[truth]].
| author = Morris West
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Cosmos|All things]] are in [[all]].
| author = Giordano Bruno
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is wise to listen, not to me but to [[w:Logos|the Word]], and to confess that [[all]] [[Unity|things are one]].
| author = Heraclitus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are very many [[Semiotics|signs]] that, being, is uncreated and imperishable, whole, unique, unwavering, and complete.
| author = Parmenides
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''&quot;[[Fire]]&quot; does not matter, &quot;[[earth]]&quot; and &quot;[[air]]&quot; and &quot;[[water]]&quot; do not matter. [[Self|&quot;I&quot; do not matter]]. No [[word]] matters. But man forgets [[reality]] and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the [[great]] [[transformations]] of the [[world]], but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their [[names]] come to his lips and he [[smiles]] as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a [[miracle]].
| author =  [[Roger Zelazny]] in ''[[Lord of Light]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[law]] of [[love]] is in accord with the [[nature]] of [[man]]. But men can only recognize this [[truth]] to its full extent when they have completely freed themselves from all [[religious]] and [[scientific]] [[superstitions]] and from all the consequent misrepresentations and sophistical distortions by which its recognition has been hindered for centuries.
| author = Leo Tolstoy
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen.&lt;br&gt; I don't know when,&lt;br&gt;But just saying it could even make it happen.'' 
| author = Kate Bush
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: [[Love]], and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy [[peace]], through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can [[nothing]] spring but what is [[good]].
| author = Augustine of Hippo
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''For the tender [[love]] that our good Lord hath to all that shall be saved, He comforteth readily and sweetly, signifying thus: ''It is sooth that [[sin]] is [[cause]] of all this [[pain]]; but [[all]] shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be [[Health|well]].''
| author = Julian of Norwich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We must move into the [[universe]]. [[Mankind]] must save itself. We must escape the [[danger]] of [[war]] and [[politics]]. We must become astronauts and go out into the universe and discover [[God|the God]] in ourselves.
| author = Ray Bradbury
}}
&lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Oedipus at Colonus.jpg|link=Irony|144px]]  &lt;br&gt; &quot;I conclude that '''[[all]] is well''',&quot; says [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus]], and '''that remark is [[sacred]]'''. [[Irony|It '''echoes''' in the wild and limited]] [[universe]] of man. It teaches that [[all]] is not, has not been, exhausted.  &lt;br&gt; [[File:Yoism symbol.svg|link=Dudeism|44px]]
| author = Albert Camus
}}
&lt;center&gt;
[[File:Sir Edward Burne Jones - The tree of forgiveness.jpeg|144px|center]]
'''[[Forgiveness]] does not change the [[past]], but it does enlarge the [[future]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ Paul Boese ~ &lt;!-- as quoted in ''Quote :The Weekly Digest'', Vol. 53, No. 8 (19 February 1967), p. 14 --&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Ibaraki Kasugaoka Church light cross.jpg|144px]]&lt;p&gt;'''[[File:Herz mit Pfeil thresh 90.svg|link=Love|44px]]&lt;big&gt; +  &lt;/big&gt; &amp;nbsp;  [[File:Peace symbol.svg|link=Peace|29px]]  &lt;big&gt; = &lt;/big&gt; [[Information|INFORMATION]]&lt;br&gt; '''I don't think [[time]] matters much if you're a [[w:List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Ted_Brautigan|Breaker]].'''
| author = [[Stephen King]] in ''[[w:Hearts in Atlantis|Hearts in Atlantis]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A [[dream]] you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is [[reality]].
| author = Yoko Ono
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''We all been playing those [[mind]] games forever &lt;br&gt; Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil. &lt;br&gt; Doing the mind guerrilla, &lt;br&gt;  Some call it [[magic]] — ''the search for the [[Holy Grail|grail]]''. &lt;p&gt; [[Love]] is the answer and you know that for sure. &lt;br&gt; Love is a flower, you got to let it — you got to let it grow.  &lt;p&gt; So keep on playing those mind games together &lt;br&gt; Doing the ritual dance in the [[sun]]. &lt;br&gt; Millions of mind guerrillas &lt;br&gt; Putting their ''soul power'' to the karmic wheel. &lt;p&gt; ''Yes'' is the answer and you know that for sure.'''
| author = John Lennon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Truth lies not in the Yes and not in the No, but in the knowledge and the beginning from which the Yes and the No arise.
| author = Karl Barth
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''After the final no there comes a yes &lt;br&gt; And on that yes the future world depends. &lt;br&gt; [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|144px]] &lt;br&gt; No was the night. &lt;br&gt; Yes is this present sun.
| author = Wallace Stevens
}}
[[File:Irish clover.jpg|44px]]&lt;/center&gt;

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
'''[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]''': [[Tao]] · [[Love]] · [[Peace]] · [[Humility]] · [[Courage]] · [[Honesty]] · [[Compassion]] · [[Friendship]] 

'''[[List_of_literary_works|Works]]:''' ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]] · [[The Ballad of the White Horse]] · [[Books of Magic]] · [[Dune]] · [[The Four Quartets]] · [[The God of Small Things]] · [[Idylls of the King]] · [[Leaves of Grass]] · [[Les Miserables]] · [[The Lord of the Rings]] · [[Mercy (Vertigo)|Mercy]] · [[Nineteen Eighty-Four]] · [[One Minute Nonsense]] · [[Principia Discordia]] · [[The Prophet]] · [[The Sandman|The San∂man]] · [[The Ship that Flew‎‎]] · [[The Silmarillion]] · [[Stranger In A Strange Land]] · [[William Shakespeare|The Works of William Shakespeare]] · [[A Tale of Two Cities]] · [[Through the Looking-Glass]]''

'''[[List_of_people_by_name|People]]''': [[Douglas Adams]] · [[Eden Ahbez]] · [[Isaac Asimov]] · [[Richard Bach]] · [[Baha'u'llah]] · [[Black Elk]] · [[Emily Brontë]] · [[Thomas Browne]] · [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] · [[Robert Browning]] · [[Gautama Buddha]] · [[Richard Francis Burton]] · [[Leo Buscaglia]] · [[John Carder Bush]] · [[Kate Bush]] · [[G. K. Chesterton]] · [[Winston Churchill]] · [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] · [[Confucius]] · [[Emily Dickinson]] · [[John Donne]] · [[Bob Dylan]] · [[Meister Eckhart]] · [[Albert Einstein]] · [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]] · [[George Eliot]] · [[T. S. Eliot]] · [[Buckminster Fuller]] · [[Eleanor Farjeon]] · [[William Faulkner]] · [[Richard Feynman]] · [[Benjamin Franklin]] · [[Robert Frost]] · [[Neil Gaiman]] · [[Mohandas Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]] · [[Hermann Göring]] · [[Stephen Grellet]] · [[Robert Heinlein]] *[[Ernest Hemingway]] · [[Frank Herbert]] · [[Douglas Hofstadter]] · [[Elbert Hubbard]] · [[Aldous Huxley]] · [[Thomas Jefferson]] · [[Jesus Christ]] · [[Chief Joseph]] · [[Julian|The Emperor Julian]] · [[Julian of Norwich]] · [[Helen Keller]] · [[John F. Kennedy]] · [[Martin Luther King]] · [[Stephen King]] · [[C. S. Lewis]] · [[Abraham Lincoln]] · [[Marcus Aurelius]] · [[Andrew Marvell]] · [[Groucho Marx]] · [[Anthony de Mello]] · [[H. L. Mencken]] · [[Jim Morrison]] · [[Muhammad]] · [[Isaac Newton]] · [[Reinhold Niebuhr]] · [[Martin Niemöller]] · [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] · [[Anaïs Nin]] · [[Joshua A. Norton|Emperor Norton I]] · [[Thomas Paine]] · [[Louis Pasteur]] · [[Emo Phillips]] · [[Max Planck]] · [[Edgar Allan Poe]] · [[Yitzhak Rabin]] · [[Spider Robinson]] · [[Eleanor Roosevelt]] · [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]] · [[Theodore Roosevelt]] · [[Arundhati Roy]] · [[Bertrand Russell]] · [[Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf]] · [[Antoine de Saint-Exupery]] · [[George Santayana]] · [[Dr. Seuss]] · [[William Shakespeare]] · [[George Bernard Shaw]] · [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]] · [[Robert Louis Stevenson]] · [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]] · [[Henry David Thoreau]] · [[Mark Twain]] · [[Leonardo da Vinci]] · [[Voltaire]] · [[Andy Warhol]] · [[Bill Watterson]] · [[Morris West]] · [[Walt Whitman]] · [[Ella Wheeler Wilcox]] · [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]] · [[William Butler Yeats]]

'''[[List_of_films|Films]]:''' ''[[Groundhog Day]] · [[Harvey]] · [[It's a Wonderful Life]] · [[L. A. Confidential]] · [[The Matrix]] · [[The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)]] · [[They Might Be Giants]]''

'''[[List of theatrical plays and musicals|Theatrical Plays and Musicals]]:''' [[Into the Woods]] 

'''[[List of categories|Other Categrories]]: [[Quote of the Day archive|Quote of the Day Archives]] · [[Famous last words]] · [[Epitaphs]] · [[List of advertising slogans|Famous Advertising Slogans]] · [[Television Shows|TV Shows]] · [[Electronic Games]] · [[List of proverbs|Folk Proverbs]] · List of [[Wikiquote:Wikiquotians|Wikiquotians]] · [[Wikiquote:Utilities|Utilities]] · [[Wikiquote:Village pump|Village pump]] · [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]'''

Most of the above are listed because they contain gems of positive inspiration, but some worthy articles such as ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' provide a reminder of how nightmarish the misguided ''can'' be, and of such harm as ''can'' be done to individuals and to society whenever Liberty, Truth, and Love are not paramount concerns. There is always immense tragedy wherever the levels of oppression, dishonesty, and hatred of vital impulses that people are willing to manifest are the primary means to obtaining status, power, comfort, —and such ''apparent'' personal &quot;safety&quot; as exists without regard for the beauty or '''''[[w:Reality|reality]]''''' of the '''''[[w:Eternity|eternal]] [[w:Soul|soul]]''''' which manifests ''only'' through '''[[Love]]'''.

Certainly many famous people, important [[:Category:Themes|themes]], major literary works, and motion pictures remain to be added, and even more categories can be developed. 

I was long one of the administrators here, which never gave me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided. 
{{List of admins}}
'''These are the people to contact if you observe any recurring abuse of Wikiquote privileges, and feel a user should be blocked or a page protected from edits, or a page deleted.''' Many of these people are no longer very active here, but I intend to be around most days, and remain involved to the extent which I can. Luckily, the problems that have occurred here thus far have been relatively minor, and some apparent abuse might have been accidents or novices to wikis amazed that they are actually permitted to do edits to the pages without the prior approval of anyone. Those who persist in vandalizing the wiki (or the wiki ''process'' itself, with the accumulation or development of needless rules or presumptions of authority), will need to be dealt with more vigorously, through various means of non-violent [[w:Direct action|direct action]].

I intend to do at least a little work on this project on most days; copying, editing, and formatting many quotations from many diverse authors and sources, and to simply observe the progress of it, and expect that ''many'' people will eventually be inspired to contribute an extensive amount to this developing compendium of wit and wisdom.

I do not intend to always respond promptly to queries and comments, but sometimes might just be carefully formulating my response in a way that takes into account the many considerations that I believe should be involved in any decisions upon many matters.

'''I send my best of wishes to all those who are prompted to increase the awareness potentials of themselves and others in respectful and beneficial ways. 

There are some truths that I feel are rarely expressed or repeated often enough, and are too seldom thought upon by many, so I will end as I began, quoting a small portion of what I can remember from a childhood dream; one of the slight variants of the statement with which I began, and which my soul continually affirms: 

:: '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which all else derives its worth.'''
:::::::~ '''''[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]''''' ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 01:44, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #B0C4DE; background-color: #B0C4DE;&quot;&gt; '''This is the primary account of Kalki, who has also used many other account-names here, some since the very first days of this Wiki.''' &lt;p&gt; &lt;big&gt; &lt;big&gt; &quot;If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it.&quot; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;br&gt; '''Foundational Principles against overly-controlling forces developing on the wikis.''' &lt;br&gt; Even if you have read them before, PLEASE EXAMINE ANEW: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Ignore all rules|Wikipedia:Ignore all rules]]''', and the other links available there, including [[w:Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not#Wikipedia_is_not_a_democracy|the links delineating much which Wikipedia was NOT]].''' &lt;br&gt; These were some of the earliest directives established by the founding workers on the Wikimedia projects. &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;'''Ignore all rules: If rules make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the wiki, then ignore them entirely and go about your business.'''&quot; ~ [[w:Wikipedia:Historical archive/RulesToConsider|RulesToConsider]] &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Ignore_all_rules&amp;diff=70516723 IAR is policy, always has been]&quot; ~ Wikipedia founder [[Jimmy Wales]]
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;'''I am one of the administrators here, which doesn't give me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided.''' I am in a period of very intermittent but gradually developing activity here, and follow no set schedule. &lt;!-- A devotion to preserving and expanding many forms of [[Awareness]], [[Life]], [[Love]] and appreciation of the principles of [[Justice]], [[Unity]] [[Liberty]] and [[Joyous]] [[Universalist]] [[Love]] in truly profound and genuine ways far beyond that of lip-service, based on an intense commitment to the crucial [[virtues]] of [[humility]], [[courage]], [[honesty]] and [[compassion]], continues to guide me and abide with me. --&gt;  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 03:26, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
==  &lt;center&gt; Ω &lt;/center&gt;   ==
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Wikipedia-logo A pt.svg|44px]]&lt;br&gt; '''If [[rules]] make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the Wiki, then ignore them and go about your [[business]].'''
| author = Lee Daniel Crocker
}}
[[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|23px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  '''I am an [[:Category:Anarchists|Anarchist]] not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.'''
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
[[File:AforAnarcho.svg|link=Anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = I told you when I came I was a [[stranger]].
| author = Leonard Cohen
}}[[File:Übersicht der Fundamentalteilchen.svg|44px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; [[File:D06 strange.jpg|44px|center]] --&gt; 
&lt;!-- [[File:Smiley.svg|29px|center]] [[File:The Comedian weapons.jpg|144px|center]] --&gt;
&lt;center&gt;You know when you have a [[dream]] and you're half-awake, but still in the fringe of your [[brain]] …&lt;br&gt;  then you open your [[eyes]] and you're so damned glad it was a dream? &lt;br&gt; '''[[Cosmos|This]] was ''[[Nothing|NOTHING]]'' like that.''' &lt;br&gt; &lt;small&gt; ~ &lt;!-- Wesley Allan Gibson (WAG)--&gt;[[Wanted (2008 film)|Wesley, son of Cross, in ''Wanted'']] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monkey 2.svg|44px]] &lt;p&gt; '''[[The All|The movie]] never changes.''' &lt;br /&gt;  '''It can't [[change]]'''; but every [[time]] you [[Vision|see]] it, it seems different because '''[[Self|you're different]].''' &lt;br /&gt; '''You see different things.'''
| author = [[Bruce Willis|J. C.]] ~&lt;br /&gt;  in &lt;br /&gt; ~ ''[[12 Monkeys]]''
}}
[[File:Quark structure omega.svg|29px|center]] 
[[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|11px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|23px|center]][[File:Peace sign.svg|link= Peace|29px|center]][[File:A+O.svg|link= Christian anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  [[File:Dudeism.svg|link=Tao|44px]]  &lt;p&gt; '''[[Dudeism|The Dude abides]].'''  &lt;br&gt; I don't [[know]] about you but I take [[comfort]] in that.  &lt;br&gt;  It's [[good]] [[Knowledge|knowin']] he's out there.  &lt;br&gt; [[Humanity|The Dude]].  &lt;br&gt; Takin' 'er easy for all us [[Sin|sinners]].
| author = [[Angel|The]] [[Stranger]] ~&lt;br&gt; in  &lt;br&gt;~ ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''
}}
__TOC__
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt; &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt; 
: Before agreeing to defer to an IMPOSITION to restrict editing here ONLY to the '''Kalki''' account, until such a time as the issues involved could be more thoroughly addressed and decided upon, in order to lift a [[User:Kalki/Outrages_of_October_-_November_2010#Administrative_action_against_user_Kalki_in_this_matter|PLAINLY IMPROPER and POLICY VIOLATING BLOCK]] by {{user|Cirt}}, this user had additionally made well over '''11,444''' ''contributive'' edits using many other names, for a present count of well over '''147,000''' edits in all. MANY of these names and associated restored userpage messages have been salvaged from defacement at '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]'''''. MANY of the thousands of articles either created or significantly worked upon by this user are listed at '''[[User:Kalki/index|Kalki/index]]. ·

{{userpage|Kalki}}
&lt;/div&gt;</text>
      <sha1>2ctgumx7w1n7knmvxahd11b7pmgi49d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154760</id>
      <parentid>3154750</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:29:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>update</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="57884" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Monad.svg|link= The All|11px|center]][[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|link= Mysticism|88px|center]][[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|14px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; ༜ &lt;br&gt; [[File:DBC-Hope.jpg|44px|center]]   [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Peace|23px|center]] --&gt;  
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;[[File:Rainbow diagram.svg|link= Rainbows||126px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link= Kenosis|38px|center]]
[[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|thumb|right|'''[[Self-awareness|I expect to pass]] through this [[world]] but once.''' If, therefore, there be any [[kindness]] I can show, or any [[good]] thing I can do [[Humanity|any fellow human being]] let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for '''I will not pass this way again.''' ~ [[Quaker]] saying, usually attributed to [[Stephen Grellet]] ]] [[Image:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|left|'''[[Love]]''' is in my [[beginning]] and my [[ending]]. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of [[The All|ALL]] which IS. ~ [[Kalki]] ]] [[File:Caduceus 1924.svg|144px|link=Awareness|center]][[File:Quaker Peace Star.png|123px|center]][[File:True Blue Unicorns.svg|444px|center]]
&lt;center&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Caput Memento.png|link=Absurdism|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Felix Cat-Haha.svg|link=Laughter|52px]] [[File:Psi and Caduceus.svg|link=Psychology|58px]] [[File:Walking Felix.gif|link=Joy|52px]]&lt;p&gt;Everyone has a [[belief]] [[system]], B.S., the [[trick]] is to [[learn]] not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own.
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}&lt;!-- [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] [[File:Novus Ordo Seclorum.png|88px]] [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Horizontal ray.svg|link=Light|188px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]][[File:Watchmen Smiley.svg|23px]][[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]] [[w:A∴A∴|A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]] [[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici| --&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Circumpunct.svg|link= Unity|42px]] &lt;br&gt; [[File:Polytat.svg|link= Love|123px]]&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;[[File:Invisible Pink Unicorn Dexter.svg|88px]] [[File:Visible Green Unicorn.svg|88px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Wingedglobe2.svg|222px]]&lt;br&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 3.jpg|144px]]&lt;br&gt; [[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|144px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Eternity|29px]] [[File:A+O.svg|link= Anarchism|29px]] [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|29px]] [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Chaos|29px]] [[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link= Peace|29px]]

::&lt;!--  '''[[Love]]''' is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Awareness]]''' receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Life]]''' itself receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''[[Love]] is the ultimate of holies, by which [[Universe|all else]] receives its worth.'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which All notions of ALL are sanctified and Blessed.  &lt;p&gt; What I say in 3 ways or 4, and indeed endless ways to tell you three times or more, endlessly is True.   &lt;p&gt; ~ ALL of US to ALL WE ARE --&gt;

This is a statement from a childhood dream which was actually expressed many times within the dream, in many ways, by many dream figures, with a few major variants that have stuck in my mind ever since, and which I have always thought both noteworthy and irrefutable. It was in such childhood dreams that I first envisioned a listing of many of the most important statements that have been made through the ages, and of calling it '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]'''''.

: In response to some activities and requests of which I am aware, I declare this assertion to be in the public domain, and that henceforth neither I nor any other person has any right to impede its expression, by anyone, in whatever ways they see fit, even if only to mock it. Mockeries of Love and Truth will forever pass into further mockeries and be forgotten or denied, but the Love and Truth and Beauty of such words will remain Eternal, beyond all denial. &lt;!-- Kalki 2008·12·24 19:44 --&gt;

: I assert that all people certainly have the right to disagree with it, or what little they can understand or misunderstand of it, so fully as their own consciences and reasons impel them to do, but that I and others also have the right to assert that in the ways which I or they understand it, it is irrefutable, and has been and can be an irrefutably important key to far more forms of awareness and appreciation of Reality and Life itself.

: I assert that there are many right ways to profoundly and beautifully understand it, and acknowledge that there are at least a few ways to profoundly and miserably misunderstand it, and to fail to appreciate many of the most profound and beautiful elements of its meaning and importance, but it is not my intention to elaborate upon them here.
&lt;!-- Silence on many things is a form of wisdom 2008·12·25 08:55 --&gt; 

'''All attempts to share wisdom with others is an expression of love for that which is truly essential.''' 

Even after more than eight years, we are all just at the beginning of this endeavor, and there is certainly a great deal left to be done. 
:I have started a user sub-page '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' to provide a summary of some of my activity here, as well as that of others. A ''few'' of my favorite quotes collected in the Wikiquote project, ''thus far'', are presented below, on this page. For more extensive listings of my favorites expressions and ideas see:
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''', a primarily chronological listing of authors or sources of quotes through the ages, 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' which includes selected quotes I had originally intended to present under various pseudonyms, or 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' which also permits a more extensive and personal commentary upon some quotes and ideas than would be appropriate within articles.
: '''[[Love]] is in my beginning and my ending. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of ALL which IS. &lt;br&gt; ''It IS the ALL which is''''' — &lt;br&gt; For All forms of Awareness, Life, and Love are formed by Love, and abide with Love and through Love, &lt;br&gt; In ways beyond ALL bounds of mortal minds. &lt;br&gt; '''WE ALL begin and end IN LOVE.'''  &lt;p&gt; '''It has been said that [[God]] IS Love, and that Love is ALL. &lt;br&gt; If so, what is there for the wise to hate but ignorance and confusion regarding such facts?''' &lt;br&gt;  Whether one believes that the Ultimate [[Reality]] is all-knowing or all-ignorant, ultimately meaningful or meaningless, alive or dead, or even can or cannot exist — or whether one can or cannot believe or KNOW such things to be significant speculations, many&lt;!-- of those capable of sufficient thought to desire more enduring forms of thought  --&gt; can assert that the wise ever strive to dispel and diminish ignorance and confusion in themselves and others, often transcending many forms of it with an ever abiding love. &lt;br&gt; Those who, at times, are most pathetically, tragically and dangerously ignorant and confused fall readily into fears which fuel hatreds and suspicions and their own lust to control or punish others, which they justify by observing or imagining and magnifying, exaggerating, how foul and loathsome others are, or &quot;must&quot; be — often exposing far more of their own propensities to the ways of needless destruction and error and terror than that which can ever truly be found in those they condemn. &lt;br&gt; '''[[Forgiveness]] is an imperative of the wise, and gentleness a strong desire — but they know that harshness must sometimes arise when injustices are denied or ignored, and people regularly believe or pretend to believe that many things are what they are NOT, or are not what they ARE.''' This very truth has often been twisted and misused by people accustomed to making the good seem evil and the evil seem good, in ways that are detrimental to ALL concerned. &lt;br&gt;  '''The wisest strive not to judge or to be judge by the ignorant and confused, but to make honest assessments, and abide in honest and respectful communion.''' Many remain so ignorant and confused about the nature of themselves and others and Reality itself that they believe this demands some form of absolute or absolutist control by someone. I am one of those who assert that such is a delusion of those most desiring excuses and reasons for their impulses to absolutely disregard the values and worth of others. '''The wisest know that ALL things have worth — and that NO thing has absolutely equal worth to ANY other — though in a truly just society of human beings ALL must have equal rights to assert and develop what worth they have.''' Such is the socially proper form of freedom known as [[Liberty]] — where all recognize the right of all to differ to the degree they feel proper — and thus no one accepts the presumption of ANYONE that they have the right or need to dictate to others what they MUST do, and where differences do arise sufficient to form clear hostilities of will, these should generally be acknowledged, but among the wise, ways to harmonize rather than conflict will be sought, and agreements reached as to what is best in any circumstances. It is only the very foolish who tend to hold that formulas can or must always be developed to determine what is &quot;best&quot; for all — usually these are little more than the ways to disguise from others and oneself one's presumptions or assumptions that what one desires oneself is best for all. Such formulas CAN be useful, and even necessary to develop many determinations of what is better or worse in various ways within any circumstances, but the wise know they should never be relied on AS IF they were ABSOLUTE.&lt;br&gt;  A maintaining of the balances of what can or must be known or cannot yet be properly recognized and understood by themselves or others is nearly always of concern to the wise, but also always a desire and urge to promote awareness and appreciation among all of what usually can be recognized and accepted as truly beautiful and beautifully true by most.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;small&gt; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Yorkshire rose.svg|44px]]&lt;p&gt;'''The imperialist [[ideology]] of [[force]], from whatever side it comes, must be shattered for [[all]] [[time]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[White Rose|The White Rose]] ~
==== &amp;nbsp; ====
[[File:Anonymous Idea.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''THE [[Corruption|CORRUPT]] [[Fear|FEAR]] [[Angels|US]] · THE [[Honesty|HONEST]] SUPPORT [[Anonymity|US]] · THE [[Heroism|HEROIC]] JOIN [[Absurdism|US]].''' &lt;!-- I certainly do NOT and CANNOT agree with ALL members of ANONYMOUS or accept or condone all of their overt or covert aims, actions or statements — but I respect them as a RAPIDLY EVOLVING and SWIFTLY ACTING community of Human Beings among whom are many who ARE developing a devotion to Liberating and Helping HUMANITY — as opposed to imposing MECHANISTIC and LEGALISTIC BINDINGS upon the Human Soul and Human lives. ~ Kalki --&gt;
| author = [[Anonymous (group)‎‎|ANONYMOUS]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Anarco logo Wikiquote.svg|44px]]  &lt;br&gt; '''My [[Politics|political]] [[opinions]] lean more and more to [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] '''…[[Philosophy|philosophically]] understood, meaning abolition of control … '''The most improper [[job]] of any man … is bossing other men.''' Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the [[opportunity]].'''
| author = J. R. R. Tolkien
}}
[[File:Yggdrasil.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[Science|sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's [[life]], lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the [[Individualism|individual]] towards [[freedom]].
| author = Albert Einstein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man's right to [[Knowledge|know]], to [[Learning|learn]], to inquire, to make bona fide [[errors]], to investigate [[human]] [[emotions]] must, by all means, be safe, if the word [[Freedom|FREEDOM]] should ever be more than an empty political slogan.
| author = Wilhelm Reich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our [[freedom]] to [[doubt]] was born out of a struggle against [[authority]] in the early days of [[science]]. It was a very deep and strong struggle: permit us to question — to doubt — to not be sure. I think that it is important that we do not forget this struggle and thus perhaps lose what we have gained.
| author = Richard Feynman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not [[know]] what I may [[appear]] to the [[world]], but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the [[sea]]-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great [[ocean]] of [[truth]] lay all undiscovered before me.
| author = Isaac Newton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The practical reason for [[freedom]] is that freedom seems to be the only condition under which any kind of substantial [[moral]] fiber can be developed — we have tried [[law]], compulsion and [[authoritarianism]] of various kinds, and the result is [[nothing]] to be [[proud]] of. 
| author = Albert Jay Nock
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[liberties]] of none are safe unless the liberties of all are [[protected]].
| author = William O. Douglas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Art]] is the [[symbol]] of the two noblest [[human]] [[efforts]]: to construct and to refrain from destruction.
| author = Simone Weil
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If we win here we will win everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; The [[world]] is a fine place and worth the [[fighting]] for and I hate very much to leave it.'''
| author = [[Ernest Hemingway]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[w:For Whom the Bell Tolls|For Whom the Bell Tolls]]'' 
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the [[world]].'''
| author = Archimedes
}} 
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Always do [[right]]. &lt;br /&gt; This will gratify some [[people]], and astonish the rest.
| author = Mark Twain
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''' Whatever pretended [[pessimists]] in search of [[Fame|notoriety]] may say, most [[people]] are [[naturally]] [[kind]], at [[heart]].
| author = James Branch Cabell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I understand the most profound and simplest [[Truth]] of all: Any [[time]] any of us reaches out, any time we pour even a drop of [[love]], [[compassion]], simple human decency (no matter how small; how seemingly insignificant) into the [[sea]] of earthly existence — we are, each and every one of us — the being called [[Mercy]].
| author = J. M. DeMatteis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you ever injected [[truth]] into [[politics]] you'd have [[Anarchism|no politics]].
| author = Will Rogers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Political]] [[language]] — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from [[Conservatives]] to [[Anarchists]] — is designed to make [[lies]] sound truthful and [[murder]] respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure [[wind]].
| author = George Orwell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be deceived by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] ...Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I remain certain that the quest for [[truth]] cannot thrive outside the nourishment of mutual trust flowering into a commitment to [[friendship]].
| author = Ivan Illich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The highest of generalizations is the synergetic integration of [[truth]] and [[love]].
| author = Buckminster Fuller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not [[believe]] in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious [[books]]. Do not believe in anything merely on the [[authority]] of your [[teachers]] and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with [[reason]] and is conducive to the [[good]] and benefit of one and [[all]], then accept it and [[live]] up to it.
| author = [[Gautama Buddha|Gautama]] [[w:Buddhahood|Buddha]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
| author = Pythagoras
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Ye shall [[Knowledge|know]] the [[truth]], and the truth shall make you [[Freedom|free]].
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]] ([[Christ|Jesus Christ]])
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A new commandment I give unto you, That ye [[love]] one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[All]] those who listen to me shall pass on my [[words]] to others and those to others again; and may the last ones [[understand]] my words better than those who listen to me directly.
| author = [[Muhammad]] [[w:Peace be upon him (Islam)|(SAW)]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''As men's habits of [[mind]] differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of [[faith]], some another, for what moves one to [[pray]] may move another to scoff, I conclude ... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits; each would then obey [[God]] freely with his whole [[heart]], while nothing would be publicly honoured save [[justice]] and [[charity]].
| author = Baruch Spinoza
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] is only [[Door|where you let Him in]].
| author = Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are [[worlds]] beyond worlds and [[times]] beyond times, [[all]] of them true, all of them [[real]], and all of them (as [[children]] [[know]]) penetrating each other.
| author = P. L. Travers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Objective [[knowledge]], the [[idea]] of [[unity]] included, belongs to objective consciousness. The forms which express this knowledge when perceived by subjective consciousness are inevitably distorted and, instead of [[truth]], they create more and more delusions.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]] speak about [[death]] during this [[life]] on [[earth]]. Death must come before rebirth. But what must die? False [[confidence]] in one’s own [[knowledge]], [[self]]-love and [[egoism]]. Our egoism must be broken. We must realize that we are very complicated machines, and so this process of breaking is bound to be a long and difficult task. Before real [[growth]] becomes possible, our [[personality]] must die.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[Truth]] Shall Make Ye Fret.
| author = Terry Pratchett
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''All [[Faith]] is false, all Faith is true: [[Truth]] is the shattered mirror strown &lt;br&gt; In myriad bits; while each [[believes]] his little bit the whole to own.''
| author = Richard Francis Burton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Opinions]] alter, manners [[change]], creeds rise and fall, but the [[moral]] [[law]] is written on the tablets of [[eternity]].
| author = James Anthony Froude
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[spirit]] of [[truth]] and the spirit of [[freedom]] — these are the pillars of [[society]].
| author = Henrik Ibsen
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''When one has once fully entered the realm of [[Love]], the [[world]] — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for Love.
| author = Søren Kierkegaard
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I think of few [[heroic]] [[actions]], which cannot be traced to the [[Art|artistical]] impulse. He who does great [[deeds]], does them from his innate sensitiveness to [[moral]] [[beauty]].
| author = Walt Whitman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Sin]] lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other &quot;sins&quot; are invented [[nonsense]].
| author = Robert A. Heinlein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We don't beat [[Death|the reaper]] by living longer, but by living well, and living fully — for the reaper will come for all of us. The question is: what do we do between the time we're born and the time he shows up.
| author = Randy Pausch
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not wait for the [[Last Judgment]]. It takes place every [[day]].
| author = Albert Camus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've always attempted to keep a mature outlook, but I cannot deny there have been lapses; I once possessed a whoopie cushion — I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was still there.
| author = [[w:Rowan Atkinson|Inspector Raymond C. Fowler]] in ''[[The Thin Blue Line (TV series)|The Thin Blue Line]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Eternity|Always]] postpone meetings with [[time]]-wasting [[morons]].
| author = Scott Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the [[universe]]; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the [[rules]], and who [[smiles]] ''[[Eternity|all the time]]''.
| author = ''[[Good Omens]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with [[Brahman|the ineffable itself]], and see if we may not eff it after all.
| author = Douglas Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All statements are true in some [[sense]], false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
| author = ''[[Principia Discordia]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized [[agnosticism]], not agnosticism about [[God]] alone, but agnosticism about [[The All|everything]].
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Awareness|Consciousness]] is the ultimate [[Reality]]; compared with it, all else is illusion.''' 
| author = Harold W. Percival
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There's never been a true [[war]] that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the [[right]]. The really [[dangerous]] [[people]] [[believe]] they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
| author = Neil Gaiman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Ideas]], unlike solid structures, do not perish. They remain immortal, immaterial and everywhere, like all Divine things. Ideas are a golden, savage landscape that we wander unaware, without a map. Be careful: in the last analysis, [[reality]] may be exactly what we think it is.
| author = Alan Moore
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Each man and woman defines the [[world]] about them, creating a set of those things which they consider &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;[[good]]&quot; and &quot;[[evil]]&quot; and &quot;sympathetic&quot; and &quot;likable,&quot; and these are damned indomitable walls. They are high and thick, and it is the task of the [[writer]] to penetrate or scale them.
| author = Caitlín R. Kiernan
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The layman always means, when he says &quot;[[reality]]&quot; that he is speaking of something [[self]]-evidently known; whereas to me it seems the most important and exceedingly difficult task of our [[time]] is to [[work]] on the construction of a new [[idea]] of reality.
| author = Wolfgang Pauli
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The existing scientific concepts cover always only a very limited part of [[reality]], and the other part that has not yet been understood is [[infinite]].
| author = Werner Heisenberg
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced [[ideas]] will be readily taken up. His work is like that of the planter — for the [[future]]. His [[duty]] is to lay the foundation for those who are to come, and point the way. He [[lives]] and [[labors]] and [[hopes]].
| author = Nikola Tesla
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Although to penetrate into the intimate [[mysteries]] of [[nature]] and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena.
| author = Leonhard Euler
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Dudeism|Don't Take Anything Personally]]. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [[reality]], their own [[dream]].
| author = Don Miguel Ruiz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Happiness]] exists on [[earth]], and it is won through prudent exercise of [[reason]], [[knowledge]] of the [[harmony]] of the [[universe]], and constant practice of [[generosity]].
| author = José Martí
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I build no [[system]]. I ask an end to privilege, the abolition of [[slavery]], [[equality]] of [[rights]], and the reign of [[law]]. [[Justice]], nothing else; that is the alpha and omega of my argument: to others I leave the [[business]] of governing the [[world]].
| author = Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I am an Anarchist not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Liberty]] is always [[dangerous]], but it is the safest thing we have.
| author = Harry Emerson Fosdick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I still believe that [[peace]] and plenty and [[happiness]] can be worked out some way. I am a [[fool]].
| author = Kurt Vonnegut
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've never seen anybody really find the answer, but they think they have. So they stop thinking. But the job is to seek [[mystery]], evoke mystery, plant a [[garden]] in which [[strange]] plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.
| author = Ken Kesey
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not want the [[peace]] that [[Brahman|passeth understanding]]. I want the [[understanding]] which [[Tao|bringeth peace]].
| author = Helen Keller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Pain]] is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
| author = Lance Armstrong
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster [[cruelty]]; more abominable is the fact that they foster [[idiocy]].
| author = Jorge Luis Borges
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are two kinds of fools: one says, &quot;This is old, therefore it is [[good]]&quot;; the other says, &quot;This is new, therefore it is better.&quot;
| author = William Ralph Inge
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If your [[morals]] make you dreary, depend upon it they are [[wrong]]. I do not say &quot;give them up,&quot; for they may be all you have; but conceal them like a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler [[people]].
| author = Robert Louis Stevenson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man seeks, in his manhood, not orders, not [[laws]] and peremptory dogmas, but counsel from one who is earnest in [[goodness]] and [[faithful]] in [[friendship]], making man free.
| author = Dietrich Bonhoeffer
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Long live [[freedom]] and damn the [[ideologies]].
| author = Robinson Jeffers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding [[wonder]] meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the [[heart]] with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater [[miracles]], and superber trophies than all the [[stars]] in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. 
| author = Herman Melville
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I have been all men known to [[history]],&lt;br&gt; Wondering at the [[world]] and at [[time]] passing;&lt;br&gt; I have seen [[evil]], and the [[light]] [[blessing]]&lt;br&gt; Innocent [[love]] under a spring [[sky]].'' 
| author = R. S. Thomas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All men [[dream]]: but not equally. Those who dream by [[night]] in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the [[day]] to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are [[dangerous]] men, for they may [[act]] their dreams with open [[eyes]], to make it possible. This I did.
| author = T. E. Lawrence
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Way of the Warrior has been misunderstood. It is not a means to kill and destroy others. Those who seek to compete and better one another are making a terrible [[mistake]]. To smash, injure, or destroy is the worst thing a human being can do. The real Way of a Warrior is to prevent such slaughter — it is the [[Art]] of [[Peace]], the [[power]] of [[love]].
| author = Morihei Ueshiba
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our armament must be adequate to the needs, but our [[faith]] is not primarily in these machines of defense but in [[Humanity|ourselves]].
| author = Chester W. Nimitz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
| author = George S. Patton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Victorious warriors win first and then go to [[war]], while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
| author = Sun Tzu
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I never learned how to tune a harp, or play upon a lute; but I know how to raise a small and inconsiderable city to [[glory]] and [[greatness]].
| author = Themistocles
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is always safe to [[learn]], even from our enemies, seldom safe to venture to instruct, even our [[friends]].
| author = Charles Caleb Colton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you make people [[think]] they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll [[hate]] you.'''
| author = Don Marquis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''To [[joke]] in the face of [[danger]] is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic [[hero]].
| author = Edmond Rostand
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The pessimist is commonly spoken of as the man in revolt. He is not. Firstly, because it requires some cheerfulness to continue in revolt, and secondly, because [[pessimism]] appeals to the [[Weakness|weaker]] side of everybody, and the pessimist, therefore, drives as roaring a trade as the publican. The person who is really in revolt is the [[optimist]], who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade all the other [[people]] how [[Goodness|good]] they are. It has been proved a hundred times over that if you really wish to enrage people and make them [[angry]], even unto [[death]], the right way to do it is to tell them that they are all the sons of [[God]].
| author = G. K. Chesterton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen.
| author = Robert Nozick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If [[God]] be [[All|God]] and man a creature made in image of the divine intelligence, his noblest function is the search for [[truth]].
| author = Morris West
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Cosmos|All things]] are in [[all]].
| author = Giordano Bruno
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is wise to listen, not to me but to [[w:Logos|the Word]], and to confess that [[all]] [[Unity|things are one]].
| author = Heraclitus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are very many [[Semiotics|signs]] that, being, is uncreated and imperishable, whole, unique, unwavering, and complete.
| author = Parmenides
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''&quot;[[Fire]]&quot; does not matter, &quot;[[earth]]&quot; and &quot;[[air]]&quot; and &quot;[[water]]&quot; do not matter. [[Self|&quot;I&quot; do not matter]]. No [[word]] matters. But man forgets [[reality]] and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the [[great]] [[transformations]] of the [[world]], but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their [[names]] come to his lips and he [[smiles]] as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a [[miracle]].
| author =  [[Roger Zelazny]] in ''[[Lord of Light]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[law]] of [[love]] is in accord with the [[nature]] of [[man]]. But men can only recognize this [[truth]] to its full extent when they have completely freed themselves from all [[religious]] and [[scientific]] [[superstitions]] and from all the consequent misrepresentations and sophistical distortions by which its recognition has been hindered for centuries.
| author = Leo Tolstoy
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen.&lt;br&gt; I don't know when,&lt;br&gt;But just saying it could even make it happen.'' 
| author = Kate Bush
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: [[Love]], and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy [[peace]], through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can [[nothing]] spring but what is [[good]].
| author = Augustine of Hippo
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''For the tender [[love]] that our good Lord hath to all that shall be saved, He comforteth readily and sweetly, signifying thus: ''It is sooth that [[sin]] is [[cause]] of all this [[pain]]; but [[all]] shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be [[Health|well]].''
| author = Julian of Norwich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We must move into the [[universe]]. [[Mankind]] must save itself. We must escape the [[danger]] of [[war]] and [[politics]]. We must become astronauts and go out into the universe and discover [[God|the God]] in ourselves.
| author = Ray Bradbury
}}
&lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Oedipus at Colonus.jpg|link=Irony|144px]]  &lt;br&gt; &quot;I conclude that '''[[all]] is well''',&quot; says [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus]], and '''that remark is [[sacred]]'''. [[Irony|It '''echoes''' in the wild and limited]] [[universe]] of man. It teaches that [[all]] is not, has not been, exhausted.  &lt;br&gt; [[File:Yoism symbol.svg|link=Dudeism|44px]]
| author = Albert Camus
}}
&lt;center&gt;
[[File:Sir Edward Burne Jones - The tree of forgiveness.jpeg|144px|center]]
'''[[Forgiveness]] does not change the [[past]], but it does enlarge the [[future]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ Paul Boese ~ &lt;!-- as quoted in ''Quote :The Weekly Digest'', Vol. 53, No. 8 (19 February 1967), p. 14 --&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Ibaraki Kasugaoka Church light cross.jpg|144px]]&lt;p&gt;'''[[File:Herz mit Pfeil thresh 90.svg|link=Love|44px]]&lt;big&gt; +  &lt;/big&gt; &amp;nbsp;  [[File:Peace symbol.svg|link=Peace|29px]]  &lt;big&gt; = &lt;/big&gt; [[Information|INFORMATION]]&lt;br&gt; '''I don't think [[time]] matters much if you're a [[w:List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Ted_Brautigan|Breaker]].'''
| author = [[Stephen King]] in ''[[w:Hearts in Atlantis|Hearts in Atlantis]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A [[dream]] you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is [[reality]].
| author = Yoko Ono
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''We all been playing those [[mind]] games forever &lt;br&gt; Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil. &lt;br&gt; Doing the mind guerrilla, &lt;br&gt;  Some call it [[magic]] — ''the search for the [[Holy Grail|grail]]''. &lt;p&gt; [[Love]] is the answer and you know that for sure. &lt;br&gt; Love is a flower, you got to let it — you got to let it grow.  &lt;p&gt; So keep on playing those mind games together &lt;br&gt; Doing the ritual dance in the [[sun]]. &lt;br&gt; Millions of mind guerrillas &lt;br&gt; Putting their ''soul power'' to the karmic wheel. &lt;p&gt; ''Yes'' is the answer and you know that for sure.'''
| author = John Lennon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Truth lies not in the Yes and not in the No, but in the knowledge and the beginning from which the Yes and the No arise.
| author = Karl Barth
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''After the final no there comes a yes &lt;br&gt; And on that yes the future world depends. &lt;br&gt; [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|144px]] &lt;br&gt; No was the night. &lt;br&gt; Yes is this present sun.
| author = Wallace Stevens
}}
[[File:Irish clover.jpg|44px]]&lt;/center&gt;

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
'''[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]''': [[Tao]] · [[Love]] · [[Peace]] · [[Humility]] · [[Courage]] · [[Honesty]] · [[Compassion]] · [[Friendship]] 

'''[[List_of_literary_works|Works]]:''' ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]] · [[The Ballad of the White Horse]] · [[Books of Magic]] · [[Dune]] · [[The Four Quartets]] · [[The God of Small Things]] · [[Idylls of the King]] · [[Leaves of Grass]] · [[Les Miserables]] · [[The Lord of the Rings]] · [[Mercy (Vertigo)|Mercy]] · [[Nineteen Eighty-Four]] · [[One Minute Nonsense]] · [[Principia Discordia]] · [[The Prophet]] · [[The Sandman|The San∂man]] · [[The Ship that Flew‎‎]] · [[The Silmarillion]] · [[Stranger In A Strange Land]] · [[William Shakespeare|The Works of William Shakespeare]] · [[A Tale of Two Cities]] · [[Through the Looking-Glass]]''

'''[[List_of_people_by_name|People]]''': [[Douglas Adams]] · [[Eden Ahbez]] · [[Isaac Asimov]] · [[Richard Bach]] · [[Baha'u'llah]] · [[Black Elk]] · [[Emily Brontë]] · [[Thomas Browne]] · [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] · [[Robert Browning]] · [[Gautama Buddha]] · [[Richard Francis Burton]] · [[Leo Buscaglia]] · [[John Carder Bush]] · [[Kate Bush]] · [[G. K. Chesterton]] · [[Winston Churchill]] · [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] · [[Confucius]] · [[Emily Dickinson]] · [[John Donne]] · [[Bob Dylan]] · [[Meister Eckhart]] · [[Albert Einstein]] · [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]] · [[George Eliot]] · [[T. S. Eliot]] · [[Buckminster Fuller]] · [[Eleanor Farjeon]] · [[William Faulkner]] · [[Richard Feynman]] · [[Benjamin Franklin]] · [[Robert Frost]] · [[Neil Gaiman]] · [[Mohandas Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]] · [[Hermann Göring]] · [[Stephen Grellet]] · [[Robert Heinlein]] *[[Ernest Hemingway]] · [[Frank Herbert]] · [[Douglas Hofstadter]] · [[Elbert Hubbard]] · [[Aldous Huxley]] · [[Thomas Jefferson]] · [[Jesus Christ]] · [[Chief Joseph]] · [[Julian|The Emperor Julian]] · [[Julian of Norwich]] · [[Helen Keller]] · [[John F. Kennedy]] · [[Martin Luther King]] · [[Stephen King]] · [[C. S. Lewis]] · [[Abraham Lincoln]] · [[Marcus Aurelius]] · [[Andrew Marvell]] · [[Groucho Marx]] · [[Anthony de Mello]] · [[H. L. Mencken]] · [[Jim Morrison]] · [[Muhammad]] · [[Isaac Newton]] · [[Reinhold Niebuhr]] · [[Martin Niemöller]] · [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] · [[Anaïs Nin]] · [[Joshua A. Norton|Emperor Norton I]] · [[Thomas Paine]] · [[Louis Pasteur]] · [[Emo Phillips]] · [[Max Planck]] · [[Edgar Allan Poe]] · [[Yitzhak Rabin]] · [[Spider Robinson]] · [[Eleanor Roosevelt]] · [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]] · [[Theodore Roosevelt]] · [[Arundhati Roy]] · [[Bertrand Russell]] · [[Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf]] · [[Antoine de Saint-Exupery]] · [[George Santayana]] · [[Dr. Seuss]] · [[William Shakespeare]] · [[George Bernard Shaw]] · [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]] · [[Robert Louis Stevenson]] · [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]] · [[Henry David Thoreau]] · [[Mark Twain]] · [[Leonardo da Vinci]] · [[Voltaire]] · [[Andy Warhol]] · [[Bill Watterson]] · [[Morris West]] · [[Walt Whitman]] · [[Ella Wheeler Wilcox]] · [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]] · [[William Butler Yeats]]

'''[[List_of_films|Films]]:''' ''[[Groundhog Day]] · [[Harvey]] · [[It's a Wonderful Life]] · [[L. A. Confidential]] · [[The Matrix]] · [[The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)]] · [[They Might Be Giants]]''

'''[[List of theatrical plays and musicals|Theatrical Plays and Musicals]]:''' [[Into the Woods]] 

'''[[List of categories|Other Categrories]]: [[Quote of the Day archive|Quote of the Day Archives]] · [[Famous last words]] · [[Epitaphs]] · [[List of advertising slogans|Famous Advertising Slogans]] · [[Television Shows|TV Shows]] · [[Electronic Games]] · [[List of proverbs|Folk Proverbs]] · List of [[Wikiquote:Wikiquotians|Wikiquotians]] · [[Wikiquote:Utilities|Utilities]] · [[Wikiquote:Village pump|Village pump]] · [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]'''

Most of the above are listed because they contain gems of positive inspiration, but some worthy articles such as ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' provide a reminder of how nightmarish the misguided ''can'' be, and of such harm as ''can'' be done to individuals and to society whenever Liberty, Truth, and Love are not paramount concerns. There is always immense tragedy wherever the levels of oppression, dishonesty, and hatred of vital impulses that people are willing to manifest are the primary means to obtaining status, power, comfort, —and such ''apparent'' personal &quot;safety&quot; as exists without regard for the beauty or '''''[[w:Reality|reality]]''''' of the '''''[[w:Eternity|eternal]] [[w:Soul|soul]]''''' which manifests ''only'' through '''[[Love]]'''.

Certainly many famous people, important [[:Category:Themes|themes]], major literary works, and motion pictures remain to be added, and even more categories can be developed. 

I was long one of the administrators here, which never gave me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided. 
{{List of admins}}
'''These are the people to contact if you observe any recurring abuse of Wikiquote privileges, and feel a user should be blocked or a page protected from edits, or a page deleted.''' Many of these people are no longer very active here, but I intend to be around most days, and remain involved to the extent which I can. Luckily, the problems that have occurred here thus far have been relatively minor, and some apparent abuse might have been accidents or novices to wikis amazed that they are actually permitted to do edits to the pages without the prior approval of anyone. Those who persist in vandalizing the wiki (or the wiki ''process'' itself, with the accumulation or development of needless rules or presumptions of authority), will need to be dealt with more vigorously, through various means of non-violent [[w:Direct action|direct action]].

I intend to do at least a little work on this project on most days; copying, editing, and formatting many quotations from many diverse authors and sources, and to simply observe the progress of it, and expect that ''many'' people will eventually be inspired to contribute an extensive amount to this developing compendium of wit and wisdom.

I do not intend to always respond promptly to queries and comments, but sometimes might just be carefully formulating my response in a way that takes into account the many considerations that I believe should be involved in any decisions upon many matters.

'''I send my best of wishes to all those who are prompted to increase the awareness potentials of themselves and others in respectful and beneficial ways. 

There are some truths that I feel are rarely expressed or repeated often enough, and are too seldom thought upon by many, so I will end as I began, quoting a small portion of what I can remember from a childhood dream; one of the slight variants of the statement with which I began, and which my soul continually affirms: 

:: '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which all else derives its worth.'''
:::::::~ '''''[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]''''' ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 01:44, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #B0C4DE; background-color: #B0C4DE;&quot;&gt; '''This is the primary account of Kalki, who has also used many other account-names here, some since the very first days of this Wiki.''' &lt;p&gt; &lt;big&gt; &lt;big&gt; &quot;If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it.&quot; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;br&gt; '''Foundational Principles against overly-controlling forces developing on the wikis.''' &lt;br&gt; Even if you have read them before, PLEASE EXAMINE ANEW: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Ignore all rules|Wikipedia:Ignore all rules]]''', and the other links available there, including [[w:Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not#Wikipedia_is_not_a_democracy|the links delineating much which Wikipedia was NOT]].''' &lt;br&gt; These were some of the earliest directives established by the founding workers on the Wikimedia projects. &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;'''Ignore all rules: If rules make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the wiki, then ignore them entirely and go about your business.'''&quot; ~ [[w:Wikipedia:Historical archive/RulesToConsider|RulesToConsider]] &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Ignore_all_rules&amp;diff=70516723 IAR is policy, always has been]&quot; ~ Wikipedia founder [[Jimmy Wales]]
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;'''I am one of the administrators here, which doesn't give me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided.''' I am in a period of very intermittent but gradually developing activity here, and follow no set schedule. &lt;!-- A devotion to preserving and expanding many forms of [[Awareness]], [[Life]], [[Love]] and appreciation of the principles of [[Justice]], [[Unity]] [[Liberty]] and [[Joyous]] [[Universalist]] [[Love]] in truly profound and genuine ways far beyond that of lip-service, based on an intense commitment to the crucial [[virtues]] of [[humility]], [[courage]], [[honesty]] and [[compassion]], continues to guide me and abide with me. --&gt;  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 03:26, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
==  &lt;center&gt; Ω &lt;/center&gt;   ==
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Wikipedia-logo A pt.svg|44px]]&lt;br&gt; '''If [[rules]] make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the Wiki, then ignore them and go about your [[business]].'''
| author = Lee Daniel Crocker
}}
[[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|23px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  '''I am an [[:Category:Anarchists|Anarchist]] not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.'''
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
[[File:AforAnarcho.svg|link=Anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = I told you when I came I was a [[stranger]].
| author = Leonard Cohen
}}[[File:Übersicht der Fundamentalteilchen.svg|44px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; [[File:D06 strange.jpg|44px|center]] --&gt; 
&lt;!-- [[File:Smiley.svg|29px|center]] [[File:The Comedian weapons.jpg|144px|center]] --&gt;
&lt;center&gt;You know when you have a [[dream]] and you're half-awake, but still in the fringe of your [[brain]] …&lt;br&gt;  then you open your [[eyes]] and you're so damned glad it was a dream? &lt;br&gt; '''[[Cosmos|This]] was ''[[Nothing|NOTHING]]'' like that.''' &lt;br&gt; &lt;small&gt; ~ &lt;!-- Wesley Allan Gibson (WAG)--&gt;[[Wanted (2008 film)|Wesley, son of Cross, in ''Wanted'']] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monkey 2.svg|44px]] &lt;p&gt; '''[[The All|The movie]] never changes.''' &lt;br /&gt;  '''It can't [[change]]'''; but every [[time]] you [[Vision|see]] it, it seems different because '''[[Self|you're different]].''' &lt;br /&gt; '''You see different things.'''
| author = [[Bruce Willis|J. C.]] ~&lt;br /&gt;  in &lt;br /&gt; ~ ''[[12 Monkeys]]''
}}
[[File:Quark structure omega.svg|29px|center]] 
[[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|11px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|23px|center]][[File:Peace sign.svg|link= Peace|29px|center]][[File:A+O.svg|link= Christian anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  [[File:Dudeism.svg|link=Tao|44px]]  &lt;p&gt; '''[[Dudeism|The Dude abides]].'''  &lt;br&gt; I don't [[know]] about you but I take [[comfort]] in that.  &lt;br&gt;  It's [[good]] [[Knowledge|knowin']] he's out there.  &lt;br&gt; [[Humanity|The Dude]].  &lt;br&gt; Takin' 'er easy for all us [[Sin|sinners]].
| author = [[Angel|The]] [[Stranger]] ~&lt;br&gt; in  &lt;br&gt;~ ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''
}}
__TOC__
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#008800}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#31601E}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|link=Dharma|88px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Uffington White Horse layout.png|link=The Ballad of the White Horse|88px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Yyjpg.svg|link= Semiotics|29px]]&lt;br /&gt; Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a [[judge]] of [[Truth]] and [[Knowledge]] is shipwrecked by the [[laughter]] of the [[gods]]. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;small&gt;~ [[Albert Einstein]] ~&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;[[File:A+O.svg|link=The All|29px]] 
| [[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px|center]] [[File:Clover symbol.svg|link=Luck|23px|center]] [[File:Dearinth Goddess.png|link=Goddess|29px|center]][[File:Answer to Life.png|link=The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|link=Good Omens|42px|center]][[File:Circle-A red.svg|link=The Man Who Was Thursday|23px|center]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; |{{User Wikiquotian For|year=2003|month=08|day=11}}&lt;p&gt;{{user contrib|144444}}&lt;/p&gt;
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;float: left; border: 1px solid {{{border|#000000}}}; margin: 1px;&quot;&gt;
{| cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;width: 238px; background: {{{bgcolor|#9999FF}}};&quot;
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#9999FF}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:Sahasrara.svg|link=Om|42px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:Devanagari-Ka.svg|link= Soul|29px]]&lt;p&gt;[[File:KemetismSymbolWhite.PNG|link=Life|17px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link=Peace|23px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Monad.svg|link= Monism|8px]]  
|style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; padding: 4pt; line-height: 1.25em; color: #FFFFFF;&quot; | With this and '''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|other accounts]]''' I have made over 157,000 contributive edits, ''created'' well over 17000 pages and done substantial work on well ''over'' 1000 more, some of which are '''[[User:Kalki/index|listed here]]'''.
| style=&quot;width: 44px; height: 44px; background: {{{imgbg|#000000}}}; text-align:center;&quot; | [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|link=The All|99px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 2.jpg|link= Kalki|99px]]
|}
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt; 
: Before agreeing to defer to an IMPOSITION to restrict editing here ONLY to the '''Kalki''' account, until such a time as the issues involved could be more thoroughly addressed and decided upon, in order to lift a [[User:Kalki/Outrages_of_October_-_November_2010#Administrative_action_against_user_Kalki_in_this_matter|PLAINLY IMPROPER and POLICY VIOLATING BLOCK]] by {{user|Cirt}}, this user had additionally made well over '''11,444''' ''contributive'' edits using many other names, for a present count of well over '''147,000''' edits in all. MANY of these names and associated restored userpage messages have been salvaged from defacement at '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]'''''. MANY of the thousands of articles either created or significantly worked upon by this user are listed at '''[[User:Kalki/index|Kalki/index]]. ·

{{userpage|Kalki}}
&lt;/div&gt;</text>
      <sha1>k3wj4mgpzc0ije0n50ng4jyjm10wnsx</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154763</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:38:38Z</timestamp>
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        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
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      <text bytes="57895" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Monad.svg|link= The All|11px|center]][[File:Lotus Jewel Sahasrara.svg|link= Mysticism|88px|center]][[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|14px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; ༜ &lt;br&gt; [[File:DBC-Hope.jpg|44px|center]]   [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Peace|23px|center]] --&gt;  
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;[[File:Compass Card transparent.png|88px|left]] [[File:Swirlyclock.png|88px|right]]&lt;font style= &quot;color:white&quot;&gt;'''♘&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]]&lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;!-- ☥♥ζωή --&gt; [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;/font&gt; · '''[[User talk:Kalki|†]]''' archives: [[User talk:Kalki/X|X]] · [[User:Kalki/index|index]] ·  [[User:Kalki/iota|iota]] · [[User:Kalki/imago|imago]] · ''[[User:Kalki/α|αnima]]'' · [[User talk:Kalki/2003|2003]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2004|2004]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2005|2005]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2006|2006]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2007|2007]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2008|2008]] · [[User talk:Kalki/2009|2009]]''' · [[User talk:Kalki/November 2009 Controversies|''controversies'']] · [[User:Kalki/FloNight Assessments &amp; Responses‎‎|''assessments''‎‎]] · ''[[Wikiquote:Votes of confidence/Kalki|VOC·'''K''']]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2010|2009 † 2010]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/Outrages of October - November 2010‎‎|outrages]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2011|2011]]''' · ''[[User:Kalki/2011 Contentions|contentions]]'' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki|RfA1]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2012|2012]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (2nd request)|RfA2‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2013|2013]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2014|2014]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (3rd request)|RfA3‎‎]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2015|2015]]''' · ''[[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/Kalki (4th request)|RfA4]]'' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2016|2016]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2017|2017]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2018|2018]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2019|2019]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2020|2020]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2021|2021]]''' · '''[[User talk:Kalki/2022|2022]]''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Magic|Magic]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' · '''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' · [[User:Kalki/Heroes|Heroes]] · [[User:Kalki/OZ|OZ]] · [[User:Kalki/OASIS|OASIS]] · [[User:Kalki/Chalkboard|♖]]&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Quote of the Day|ꇎ]]''' [[User:Kalki#Ω#Ω|'''Ω''']] '''[[QOTD by month|ꇎ]] --&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/div&gt;[[File:Rainbow diagram.svg|link= Rainbows||126px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link= Kenosis|38px|center]]
[[File:Empyrean Light and Shadows of Salvation.jpg|thumb|321px|right|'''[[Self-awareness|I expect to pass]] through this [[world]] but once.''' If, therefore, there be any [[kindness]] I can show, or any [[good]] thing I can do [[Humanity|any fellow human being]] let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for '''I will not pass this way again.''' ~ [[Quaker]] saying, usually attributed to [[Stephen Grellet]] ]] [[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|left|321px|'''[[Love]]''' is in my [[beginning]] and my [[ending]]. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of [[The All|ALL]] which IS. ~ [[Kalki]] ]] [[File:Caduceus 1924.svg|144px|link=Awareness|center]][[File:Quaker Peace Star.png|123px|center]][[File:True Blue Unicorns.svg|444px|center]]
&lt;center&gt;
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monad.svg|11px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Caput Memento.png|link=Absurdism|42px]]&lt;br /&gt;[[File:Felix Cat-Haha.svg|link=Laughter|52px]] [[File:Psi and Caduceus.svg|link=Psychology|58px]] [[File:Walking Felix.gif|link=Joy|52px]]&lt;p&gt;Everyone has a [[belief]] [[system]], B.S., the [[trick]] is to [[learn]] not to take anyone's B.S. too seriously, especially your own.
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}&lt;!-- [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] [[File:Novus Ordo Seclorum.png|88px]] [[File:Libertatis Aequilibritas GFDL.png|23px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Horizontal ray.svg|link=Light|188px]]&lt;br /&gt; [[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]][[File:Watchmen Smiley.svg|23px]][[File:Alphaomega.png|29px]] [[w:A∴A∴|A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;A&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;∴&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]] [[w:Vi veri universum vivus vici| --&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Circumpunct.svg|link= Unity|42px]] &lt;br&gt; [[File:Polytat.svg|link= Love|123px]]&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;/&gt;[[File:Invisible Pink Unicorn Dexter.svg|88px]] [[File:Visible Green Unicorn.svg|88px]] &lt;br /&gt; [[File:Wingedglobe2.svg|222px]]&lt;br&gt;[[File:Etruscan Horse 3.jpg|144px]]&lt;br&gt; [[File:Terry Pratchett Arms.svg|144px]]&lt;p&gt; [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Eternity|29px]] [[File:A+O.svg|link= Anarchism|29px]] [[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|29px]] [[File:Eris symbol 2.svg|link= Chaos|29px]] [[File:Blue Pacific.svg|link= Peace|29px]]

::&lt;!--  '''[[Love]]''' is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Awareness]]''' receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which '''[[Life]]''' itself receives its worth. &lt;br&gt; --&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''[[Love]] is the ultimate of holies, by which [[Universe|all else]] receives its worth.'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;br&gt; Love is the ultimate of holies, by which All notions of ALL are sanctified and Blessed.  &lt;p&gt; What I say in 3 ways or 4, and indeed endless ways to tell you three times or more, endlessly is True.   &lt;p&gt; ~ ALL of US to ALL WE ARE --&gt;

This is a statement from a childhood dream which was actually expressed many times within the dream, in many ways, by many dream figures, with a few major variants that have stuck in my mind ever since, and which I have always thought both noteworthy and irrefutable. It was in such childhood dreams that I first envisioned a listing of many of the most important statements that have been made through the ages, and of calling it '''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]'''''.

: In response to some activities and requests of which I am aware, I declare this assertion to be in the public domain, and that henceforth neither I nor any other person has any right to impede its expression, by anyone, in whatever ways they see fit, even if only to mock it. Mockeries of Love and Truth will forever pass into further mockeries and be forgotten or denied, but the Love and Truth and Beauty of such words will remain Eternal, beyond all denial. &lt;!-- Kalki 2008·12·24 19:44 --&gt;

: I assert that all people certainly have the right to disagree with it, or what little they can understand or misunderstand of it, so fully as their own consciences and reasons impel them to do, but that I and others also have the right to assert that in the ways which I or they understand it, it is irrefutable, and has been and can be an irrefutably important key to far more forms of awareness and appreciation of Reality and Life itself.

: I assert that there are many right ways to profoundly and beautifully understand it, and acknowledge that there are at least a few ways to profoundly and miserably misunderstand it, and to fail to appreciate many of the most profound and beautiful elements of its meaning and importance, but it is not my intention to elaborate upon them here.
&lt;!-- Silence on many things is a form of wisdom 2008·12·25 08:55 --&gt; 

'''All attempts to share wisdom with others is an expression of love for that which is truly essential.''' 

Even after more than eight years, we are all just at the beginning of this endeavor, and there is certainly a great deal left to be done. 
:I have started a user sub-page '''''[[User:Kalki/Chronology|Chronology]]''''' to provide a summary of some of my activity here, as well as that of others. A ''few'' of my favorite quotes collected in the Wikiquote project, ''thus far'', are presented below, on this page. For more extensive listings of my favorites expressions and ideas see:
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Worldsong|Worldsong]]''''', a primarily chronological listing of authors or sources of quotes through the ages, 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]''''' which includes selected quotes I had originally intended to present under various pseudonyms, or 
:'''''[[User:Kalki/Vox Box‎‎|Vox Box]]''''' which also permits a more extensive and personal commentary upon some quotes and ideas than would be appropriate within articles.
: '''[[Love]] is in my beginning and my ending. &lt;br&gt; It is the beginning and ending of ALL which IS. &lt;br&gt; ''It IS the ALL which is''''' — &lt;br&gt; For All forms of Awareness, Life, and Love are formed by Love, and abide with Love and through Love, &lt;br&gt; In ways beyond ALL bounds of mortal minds. &lt;br&gt; '''WE ALL begin and end IN LOVE.'''  &lt;p&gt; '''It has been said that [[God]] IS Love, and that Love is ALL. &lt;br&gt; If so, what is there for the wise to hate but ignorance and confusion regarding such facts?''' &lt;br&gt;  Whether one believes that the Ultimate [[Reality]] is all-knowing or all-ignorant, ultimately meaningful or meaningless, alive or dead, or even can or cannot exist — or whether one can or cannot believe or KNOW such things to be significant speculations, many&lt;!-- of those capable of sufficient thought to desire more enduring forms of thought  --&gt; can assert that the wise ever strive to dispel and diminish ignorance and confusion in themselves and others, often transcending many forms of it with an ever abiding love. &lt;br&gt; Those who, at times, are most pathetically, tragically and dangerously ignorant and confused fall readily into fears which fuel hatreds and suspicions and their own lust to control or punish others, which they justify by observing or imagining and magnifying, exaggerating, how foul and loathsome others are, or &quot;must&quot; be — often exposing far more of their own propensities to the ways of needless destruction and error and terror than that which can ever truly be found in those they condemn. &lt;br&gt; '''[[Forgiveness]] is an imperative of the wise, and gentleness a strong desire — but they know that harshness must sometimes arise when injustices are denied or ignored, and people regularly believe or pretend to believe that many things are what they are NOT, or are not what they ARE.''' This very truth has often been twisted and misused by people accustomed to making the good seem evil and the evil seem good, in ways that are detrimental to ALL concerned. &lt;br&gt;  '''The wisest strive not to judge or to be judge by the ignorant and confused, but to make honest assessments, and abide in honest and respectful communion.''' Many remain so ignorant and confused about the nature of themselves and others and Reality itself that they believe this demands some form of absolute or absolutist control by someone. I am one of those who assert that such is a delusion of those most desiring excuses and reasons for their impulses to absolutely disregard the values and worth of others. '''The wisest know that ALL things have worth — and that NO thing has absolutely equal worth to ANY other — though in a truly just society of human beings ALL must have equal rights to assert and develop what worth they have.''' Such is the socially proper form of freedom known as [[Liberty]] — where all recognize the right of all to differ to the degree they feel proper — and thus no one accepts the presumption of ANYONE that they have the right or need to dictate to others what they MUST do, and where differences do arise sufficient to form clear hostilities of will, these should generally be acknowledged, but among the wise, ways to harmonize rather than conflict will be sought, and agreements reached as to what is best in any circumstances. It is only the very foolish who tend to hold that formulas can or must always be developed to determine what is &quot;best&quot; for all — usually these are little more than the ways to disguise from others and oneself one's presumptions or assumptions that what one desires oneself is best for all. Such formulas CAN be useful, and even necessary to develop many determinations of what is better or worse in various ways within any circumstances, but the wise know they should never be relied on AS IF they were ABSOLUTE.&lt;br&gt;  A maintaining of the balances of what can or must be known or cannot yet be properly recognized and understood by themselves or others is nearly always of concern to the wise, but also always a desire and urge to promote awareness and appreciation among all of what usually can be recognized and accepted as truly beautiful and beautifully true by most.  &lt;br&gt;&lt;small&gt; ~ [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;[[File:Yorkshire rose.svg|44px]]&lt;p&gt;'''The imperialist [[ideology]] of [[force]], from whatever side it comes, must be shattered for [[all]] [[time]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[White Rose|The White Rose]] ~
==== &amp;nbsp; ====
[[File:Anonymous Idea.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''THE [[Corruption|CORRUPT]] [[Fear|FEAR]] [[Angels|US]] · THE [[Honesty|HONEST]] SUPPORT [[Anonymity|US]] · THE [[Heroism|HEROIC]] JOIN [[Absurdism|US]].''' &lt;!-- I certainly do NOT and CANNOT agree with ALL members of ANONYMOUS or accept or condone all of their overt or covert aims, actions or statements — but I respect them as a RAPIDLY EVOLVING and SWIFTLY ACTING community of Human Beings among whom are many who ARE developing a devotion to Liberating and Helping HUMANITY — as opposed to imposing MECHANISTIC and LEGALISTIC BINDINGS upon the Human Soul and Human lives. ~ Kalki --&gt;
| author = [[Anonymous (group)‎‎|ANONYMOUS]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Anarco logo Wikiquote.svg|44px]]  &lt;br&gt; '''My [[Politics|political]] [[opinions]] lean more and more to [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] '''…[[Philosophy|philosophically]] understood, meaning abolition of control … '''The most improper [[job]] of any man … is bossing other men.''' Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the [[opportunity]].'''
| author = J. R. R. Tolkien
}}
[[File:Yggdrasil.jpg|244px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]], [[arts]] and [[Science|sciences]] are branches of the same [[tree]]. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's [[life]], lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the [[Individualism|individual]] towards [[freedom]].
| author = Albert Einstein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man's right to [[Knowledge|know]], to [[Learning|learn]], to inquire, to make bona fide [[errors]], to investigate [[human]] [[emotions]] must, by all means, be safe, if the word [[Freedom|FREEDOM]] should ever be more than an empty political slogan.
| author = Wilhelm Reich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our [[freedom]] to [[doubt]] was born out of a struggle against [[authority]] in the early days of [[science]]. It was a very deep and strong struggle: permit us to question — to doubt — to not be sure. I think that it is important that we do not forget this struggle and thus perhaps lose what we have gained.
| author = Richard Feynman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not [[know]] what I may [[appear]] to the [[world]], but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the [[sea]]-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great [[ocean]] of [[truth]] lay all undiscovered before me.
| author = Isaac Newton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The practical reason for [[freedom]] is that freedom seems to be the only condition under which any kind of substantial [[moral]] fiber can be developed — we have tried [[law]], compulsion and [[authoritarianism]] of various kinds, and the result is [[nothing]] to be [[proud]] of. 
| author = Albert Jay Nock
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[liberties]] of none are safe unless the liberties of all are [[protected]].
| author = William O. Douglas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Art]] is the [[symbol]] of the two noblest [[human]] [[efforts]]: to construct and to refrain from destruction.
| author = Simone Weil
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If we win here we will win everywhere. &lt;br /&gt; The [[world]] is a fine place and worth the [[fighting]] for and I hate very much to leave it.'''
| author = [[Ernest Hemingway]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[w:For Whom the Bell Tolls|For Whom the Bell Tolls]]'' 
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the [[world]].'''
| author = Archimedes
}} 
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Always do [[right]]. &lt;br /&gt; This will gratify some [[people]], and astonish the rest.
| author = Mark Twain
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = ''' Whatever pretended [[pessimists]] in search of [[Fame|notoriety]] may say, most [[people]] are [[naturally]] [[kind]], at [[heart]].
| author = James Branch Cabell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I understand the most profound and simplest [[Truth]] of all: Any [[time]] any of us reaches out, any time we pour even a drop of [[love]], [[compassion]], simple human decency (no matter how small; how seemingly insignificant) into the [[sea]] of earthly existence — we are, each and every one of us — the being called [[Mercy]].
| author = J. M. DeMatteis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you ever injected [[truth]] into [[politics]] you'd have [[Anarchism|no politics]].
| author = Will Rogers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Political]] [[language]] — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from [[Conservatives]] to [[Anarchists]] — is designed to make [[lies]] sound truthful and [[murder]] respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure [[wind]].
| author = George Orwell
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not be deceived by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]] ...Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.
| author = R. A. Lafferty
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I remain certain that the quest for [[truth]] cannot thrive outside the nourishment of mutual trust flowering into a commitment to [[friendship]].
| author = Ivan Illich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The highest of generalizations is the synergetic integration of [[truth]] and [[love]].
| author = Buckminster Fuller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not [[believe]] in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious [[books]]. Do not believe in anything merely on the [[authority]] of your [[teachers]] and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with [[reason]] and is conducive to the [[good]] and benefit of one and [[all]], then accept it and [[live]] up to it.
| author = [[Gautama Buddha|Gautama]] [[w:Buddhahood|Buddha]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
| author = Pythagoras
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Ye shall [[Knowledge|know]] the [[truth]], and the truth shall make you [[Freedom|free]].
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]] ([[Christ|Jesus Christ]])
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A new commandment I give unto you, That ye [[love]] one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
| author = [[Jesus|Yeshua of Galilee]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[All]] those who listen to me shall pass on my [[words]] to others and those to others again; and may the last ones [[understand]] my words better than those who listen to me directly.
| author = [[Muhammad]] [[w:Peace be upon him (Islam)|(SAW)]]
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''As men's habits of [[mind]] differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of [[faith]], some another, for what moves one to [[pray]] may move another to scoff, I conclude ... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits; each would then obey [[God]] freely with his whole [[heart]], while nothing would be publicly honoured save [[justice]] and [[charity]].
| author = Baruch Spinoza
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] is only [[Door|where you let Him in]].
| author = Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are [[worlds]] beyond worlds and [[times]] beyond times, [[all]] of them true, all of them [[real]], and all of them (as [[children]] [[know]]) penetrating each other.
| author = P. L. Travers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Objective [[knowledge]], the [[idea]] of [[unity]] included, belongs to objective consciousness. The forms which express this knowledge when perceived by subjective consciousness are inevitably distorted and, instead of [[truth]], they create more and more delusions.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All [[religions]] speak about [[death]] during this [[life]] on [[earth]]. Death must come before rebirth. But what must die? False [[confidence]] in one’s own [[knowledge]], [[self]]-love and [[egoism]]. Our egoism must be broken. We must realize that we are very complicated machines, and so this process of breaking is bound to be a long and difficult task. Before real [[growth]] becomes possible, our [[personality]] must die.
| author = G. I. Gurdjieff
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[Truth]] Shall Make Ye Fret.
| author = Terry Pratchett
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''All [[Faith]] is false, all Faith is true: [[Truth]] is the shattered mirror strown &lt;br&gt; In myriad bits; while each [[believes]] his little bit the whole to own.''
| author = Richard Francis Burton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Opinions]] alter, manners [[change]], creeds rise and fall, but the [[moral]] [[law]] is written on the tablets of [[eternity]].
| author = James Anthony Froude
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[spirit]] of [[truth]] and the spirit of [[freedom]] — these are the pillars of [[society]].
| author = Henrik Ibsen
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''When one has once fully entered the realm of [[Love]], the [[world]] — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for Love.
| author = Søren Kierkegaard
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I think of few [[heroic]] [[actions]], which cannot be traced to the [[Art|artistical]] impulse. He who does great [[deeds]], does them from his innate sensitiveness to [[moral]] [[beauty]].
| author = Walt Whitman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Sin]] lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other &quot;sins&quot; are invented [[nonsense]].
| author = Robert A. Heinlein
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We don't beat [[Death|the reaper]] by living longer, but by living well, and living fully — for the reaper will come for all of us. The question is: what do we do between the time we're born and the time he shows up.
| author = Randy Pausch
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Do not wait for the [[Last Judgment]]. It takes place every [[day]].
| author = Albert Camus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've always attempted to keep a mature outlook, but I cannot deny there have been lapses; I once possessed a whoopie cushion — I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was still there.
| author = [[w:Rowan Atkinson|Inspector Raymond C. Fowler]] in ''[[The Thin Blue Line (TV series)|The Thin Blue Line]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Eternity|Always]] postpone meetings with [[time]]-wasting [[morons]].
| author = Scott Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[God]] moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the [[universe]]; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the [[rules]], and who [[smiles]] ''[[Eternity|all the time]]''.
| author = ''[[Good Omens]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with [[Brahman|the ineffable itself]], and see if we may not eff it after all.
| author = Douglas Adams
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All statements are true in some [[sense]], false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
| author = ''[[Principia Discordia]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized [[agnosticism]], not agnosticism about [[God]] alone, but agnosticism about [[The All|everything]].
| author = Robert Anton Wilson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Awareness|Consciousness]] is the ultimate [[Reality]]; compared with it, all else is illusion.''' 
| author = Harold W. Percival
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There's never been a true [[war]] that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the [[right]]. The really [[dangerous]] [[people]] [[believe]] they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous.
| author = Neil Gaiman
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Ideas]], unlike solid structures, do not perish. They remain immortal, immaterial and everywhere, like all Divine things. Ideas are a golden, savage landscape that we wander unaware, without a map. Be careful: in the last analysis, [[reality]] may be exactly what we think it is.
| author = Alan Moore
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Each man and woman defines the [[world]] about them, creating a set of those things which they consider &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;[[good]]&quot; and &quot;[[evil]]&quot; and &quot;sympathetic&quot; and &quot;likable,&quot; and these are damned indomitable walls. They are high and thick, and it is the task of the [[writer]] to penetrate or scale them.
| author = Caitlín R. Kiernan
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The layman always means, when he says &quot;[[reality]]&quot; that he is speaking of something [[self]]-evidently known; whereas to me it seems the most important and exceedingly difficult task of our [[time]] is to [[work]] on the construction of a new [[idea]] of reality.
| author = Wolfgang Pauli
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The existing scientific concepts cover always only a very limited part of [[reality]], and the other part that has not yet been understood is [[infinite]].
| author = Werner Heisenberg
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced [[ideas]] will be readily taken up. His work is like that of the planter — for the [[future]]. His [[duty]] is to lay the foundation for those who are to come, and point the way. He [[lives]] and [[labors]] and [[hopes]].
| author = Nikola Tesla
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Although to penetrate into the intimate [[mysteries]] of [[nature]] and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena.
| author = Leonhard Euler
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Dudeism|Don't Take Anything Personally]]. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [[reality]], their own [[dream]].
| author = Don Miguel Ruiz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Happiness]] exists on [[earth]], and it is won through prudent exercise of [[reason]], [[knowledge]] of the [[harmony]] of the [[universe]], and constant practice of [[generosity]].
| author = José Martí
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I build no [[system]]. I ask an end to privilege, the abolition of [[slavery]], [[equality]] of [[rights]], and the reign of [[law]]. [[Justice]], nothing else; that is the alpha and omega of my argument: to others I leave the [[business]] of governing the [[world]].
| author = Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I am an Anarchist not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Liberty]] is always [[dangerous]], but it is the safest thing we have.
| author = Harry Emerson Fosdick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I still believe that [[peace]] and plenty and [[happiness]] can be worked out some way. I am a [[fool]].
| author = Kurt Vonnegut
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I've never seen anybody really find the answer, but they think they have. So they stop thinking. But the job is to seek [[mystery]], evoke mystery, plant a [[garden]] in which [[strange]] plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.
| author = Ken Kesey
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I do not want the [[peace]] that [[Brahman|passeth understanding]]. I want the [[understanding]] which [[Tao|bringeth peace]].
| author = Helen Keller
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Pain]] is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
| author = Lance Armstrong
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster [[cruelty]]; more abominable is the fact that they foster [[idiocy]].
| author = Jorge Luis Borges
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are two kinds of fools: one says, &quot;This is old, therefore it is [[good]]&quot;; the other says, &quot;This is new, therefore it is better.&quot;
| author = William Ralph Inge
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If your [[morals]] make you dreary, depend upon it they are [[wrong]]. I do not say &quot;give them up,&quot; for they may be all you have; but conceal them like a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler [[people]].
| author = Robert Louis Stevenson
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Man seeks, in his manhood, not orders, not [[laws]] and peremptory dogmas, but counsel from one who is earnest in [[goodness]] and [[faithful]] in [[friendship]], making man free.
| author = Dietrich Bonhoeffer
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Long live [[freedom]] and damn the [[ideologies]].
| author = Robinson Jeffers
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding [[wonder]] meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the [[heart]] with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater [[miracles]], and superber trophies than all the [[stars]] in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. 
| author = Herman Melville
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I have been all men known to [[history]],&lt;br&gt; Wondering at the [[world]] and at [[time]] passing;&lt;br&gt; I have seen [[evil]], and the [[light]] [[blessing]]&lt;br&gt; Innocent [[love]] under a spring [[sky]].'' 
| author = R. S. Thomas
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''All men [[dream]]: but not equally. Those who dream by [[night]] in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the [[day]] to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are [[dangerous]] men, for they may [[act]] their dreams with open [[eyes]], to make it possible. This I did.
| author = T. E. Lawrence
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Way of the Warrior has been misunderstood. It is not a means to kill and destroy others. Those who seek to compete and better one another are making a terrible [[mistake]]. To smash, injure, or destroy is the worst thing a human being can do. The real Way of a Warrior is to prevent such slaughter — it is the [[Art]] of [[Peace]], the [[power]] of [[love]].
| author = Morihei Ueshiba
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Our armament must be adequate to the needs, but our [[faith]] is not primarily in these machines of defense but in [[Humanity|ourselves]].
| author = Chester W. Nimitz
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.
| author = George S. Patton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Victorious warriors win first and then go to [[war]], while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
| author = Sun Tzu
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''I never learned how to tune a harp, or play upon a lute; but I know how to raise a small and inconsiderable city to [[glory]] and [[greatness]].
| author = Themistocles
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is always safe to [[learn]], even from our enemies, seldom safe to venture to instruct, even our [[friends]].
| author = Charles Caleb Colton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If you make people [[think]] they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll [[hate]] you.'''
| author = Don Marquis
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''To [[joke]] in the face of [[danger]] is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic [[hero]].
| author = Edmond Rostand
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The pessimist is commonly spoken of as the man in revolt. He is not. Firstly, because it requires some cheerfulness to continue in revolt, and secondly, because [[pessimism]] appeals to the [[Weakness|weaker]] side of everybody, and the pessimist, therefore, drives as roaring a trade as the publican. The person who is really in revolt is the [[optimist]], who generally lives and dies in a desperate and suicidal effort to persuade all the other [[people]] how [[Goodness|good]] they are. It has been proved a hundred times over that if you really wish to enrage people and make them [[angry]], even unto [[death]], the right way to do it is to tell them that they are all the sons of [[God]].
| author = G. K. Chesterton
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''From each as they choose, to each as they are chosen.
| author = Robert Nozick
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''If [[God]] be [[All|God]] and man a creature made in image of the divine intelligence, his noblest function is the search for [[truth]].
| author = Morris West
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''[[Cosmos|All things]] are in [[all]].
| author = Giordano Bruno
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''It is wise to listen, not to me but to [[w:Logos|the Word]], and to confess that [[all]] [[Unity|things are one]].
| author = Heraclitus
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''There are very many [[Semiotics|signs]] that, being, is uncreated and imperishable, whole, unique, unwavering, and complete.
| author = Parmenides
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''&quot;[[Fire]]&quot; does not matter, &quot;[[earth]]&quot; and &quot;[[air]]&quot; and &quot;[[water]]&quot; do not matter. [[Self|&quot;I&quot; do not matter]]. No [[word]] matters. But man forgets [[reality]] and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the [[great]] [[transformations]] of the [[world]], but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their [[names]] come to his lips and he [[smiles]] as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a [[miracle]].
| author =  [[Roger Zelazny]] in ''[[Lord of Light]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The [[law]] of [[love]] is in accord with the [[nature]] of [[man]]. But men can only recognize this [[truth]] to its full extent when they have completely freed themselves from all [[religious]] and [[scientific]] [[superstitions]] and from all the consequent misrepresentations and sophistical distortions by which its recognition has been hindered for centuries.
| author = Leo Tolstoy
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''I just [[know]] that something [[good]] is going to happen.&lt;br&gt; I don't know when,&lt;br&gt;But just saying it could even make it happen.'' 
| author = Kate Bush
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: [[Love]], and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy [[peace]], through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can [[nothing]] spring but what is [[good]].
| author = Augustine of Hippo
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''For the tender [[love]] that our good Lord hath to all that shall be saved, He comforteth readily and sweetly, signifying thus: ''It is sooth that [[sin]] is [[cause]] of all this [[pain]]; but [[all]] shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be [[Health|well]].''
| author = Julian of Norwich
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''We must move into the [[universe]]. [[Mankind]] must save itself. We must escape the [[danger]] of [[war]] and [[politics]]. We must become astronauts and go out into the universe and discover [[God|the God]] in ourselves.
| author = Ray Bradbury
}}
&lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Oedipus at Colonus.jpg|link=Irony|144px]]  &lt;br&gt; &quot;I conclude that '''[[all]] is well''',&quot; says [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus]], and '''that remark is [[sacred]]'''. [[Irony|It '''echoes''' in the wild and limited]] [[universe]] of man. It teaches that [[all]] is not, has not been, exhausted.  &lt;br&gt; [[File:Yoism symbol.svg|link=Dudeism|44px]]
| author = Albert Camus
}}
&lt;center&gt;
[[File:Sir Edward Burne Jones - The tree of forgiveness.jpeg|144px|center]]
'''[[Forgiveness]] does not change the [[past]], but it does enlarge the [[future]].''' &lt;br&gt; ~ Paul Boese ~ &lt;!-- as quoted in ''Quote :The Weekly Digest'', Vol. 53, No. 8 (19 February 1967), p. 14 --&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Ibaraki Kasugaoka Church light cross.jpg|144px]]&lt;p&gt;'''[[File:Herz mit Pfeil thresh 90.svg|link=Love|44px]]&lt;big&gt; +  &lt;/big&gt; &amp;nbsp;  [[File:Peace symbol.svg|link=Peace|29px]]  &lt;big&gt; = &lt;/big&gt; [[Information|INFORMATION]]&lt;br&gt; '''I don't think [[time]] matters much if you're a [[w:List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Ted_Brautigan|Breaker]].'''
| author = [[Stephen King]] in ''[[w:Hearts in Atlantis|Hearts in Atlantis]]''
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''A [[dream]] you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is [[reality]].
| author = Yoko Ono
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''''We all been playing those [[mind]] games forever &lt;br&gt; Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil. &lt;br&gt; Doing the mind guerrilla, &lt;br&gt;  Some call it [[magic]] — ''the search for the [[Holy Grail|grail]]''. &lt;p&gt; [[Love]] is the answer and you know that for sure. &lt;br&gt; Love is a flower, you got to let it — you got to let it grow.  &lt;p&gt; So keep on playing those mind games together &lt;br&gt; Doing the ritual dance in the [[sun]]. &lt;br&gt; Millions of mind guerrillas &lt;br&gt; Putting their ''soul power'' to the karmic wheel. &lt;p&gt; ''Yes'' is the answer and you know that for sure.'''
| author = John Lennon
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''The Truth lies not in the Yes and not in the No, but in the knowledge and the beginning from which the Yes and the No arise.
| author = Karl Barth
}}
{{quote of the day
| quote = '''After the final no there comes a yes &lt;br&gt; And on that yes the future world depends. &lt;br&gt; [[File:JUL Soul Iris.png|144px]] &lt;br&gt; No was the night. &lt;br&gt; Yes is this present sun.
| author = Wallace Stevens
}}
[[File:Irish clover.jpg|44px]]&lt;/center&gt;

==== &amp;nbsp; ====
'''[[:Category:Themes|Themes]]''': [[Tao]] · [[Love]] · [[Peace]] · [[Humility]] · [[Courage]] · [[Honesty]] · [[Compassion]] · [[Friendship]] 

'''[[List_of_literary_works|Works]]:''' ''[[Alice's Adventures in Wonderland]] · [[The Ballad of the White Horse]] · [[Books of Magic]] · [[Dune]] · [[The Four Quartets]] · [[The God of Small Things]] · [[Idylls of the King]] · [[Leaves of Grass]] · [[Les Miserables]] · [[The Lord of the Rings]] · [[Mercy (Vertigo)|Mercy]] · [[Nineteen Eighty-Four]] · [[One Minute Nonsense]] · [[Principia Discordia]] · [[The Prophet]] · [[The Sandman|The San∂man]] · [[The Ship that Flew‎‎]] · [[The Silmarillion]] · [[Stranger In A Strange Land]] · [[William Shakespeare|The Works of William Shakespeare]] · [[A Tale of Two Cities]] · [[Through the Looking-Glass]]''

'''[[List_of_people_by_name|People]]''': [[Douglas Adams]] · [[Eden Ahbez]] · [[Isaac Asimov]] · [[Richard Bach]] · [[Baha'u'llah]] · [[Black Elk]] · [[Emily Brontë]] · [[Thomas Browne]] · [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] · [[Robert Browning]] · [[Gautama Buddha]] · [[Richard Francis Burton]] · [[Leo Buscaglia]] · [[John Carder Bush]] · [[Kate Bush]] · [[G. K. Chesterton]] · [[Winston Churchill]] · [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]] · [[Confucius]] · [[Emily Dickinson]] · [[John Donne]] · [[Bob Dylan]] · [[Meister Eckhart]] · [[Albert Einstein]] · [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]] · [[George Eliot]] · [[T. S. Eliot]] · [[Buckminster Fuller]] · [[Eleanor Farjeon]] · [[William Faulkner]] · [[Richard Feynman]] · [[Benjamin Franklin]] · [[Robert Frost]] · [[Neil Gaiman]] · [[Mohandas Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]] · [[Hermann Göring]] · [[Stephen Grellet]] · [[Robert Heinlein]] *[[Ernest Hemingway]] · [[Frank Herbert]] · [[Douglas Hofstadter]] · [[Elbert Hubbard]] · [[Aldous Huxley]] · [[Thomas Jefferson]] · [[Jesus Christ]] · [[Chief Joseph]] · [[Julian|The Emperor Julian]] · [[Julian of Norwich]] · [[Helen Keller]] · [[John F. Kennedy]] · [[Martin Luther King]] · [[Stephen King]] · [[C. S. Lewis]] · [[Abraham Lincoln]] · [[Marcus Aurelius]] · [[Andrew Marvell]] · [[Groucho Marx]] · [[Anthony de Mello]] · [[H. L. Mencken]] · [[Jim Morrison]] · [[Muhammad]] · [[Isaac Newton]] · [[Reinhold Niebuhr]] · [[Martin Niemöller]] · [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] · [[Anaïs Nin]] · [[Joshua A. Norton|Emperor Norton I]] · [[Thomas Paine]] · [[Louis Pasteur]] · [[Emo Phillips]] · [[Max Planck]] · [[Edgar Allan Poe]] · [[Yitzhak Rabin]] · [[Spider Robinson]] · [[Eleanor Roosevelt]] · [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]] · [[Theodore Roosevelt]] · [[Arundhati Roy]] · [[Bertrand Russell]] · [[Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf]] · [[Antoine de Saint-Exupery]] · [[George Santayana]] · [[Dr. Seuss]] · [[William Shakespeare]] · [[George Bernard Shaw]] · [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]] · [[Robert Louis Stevenson]] · [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]] · [[Henry David Thoreau]] · [[Mark Twain]] · [[Leonardo da Vinci]] · [[Voltaire]] · [[Andy Warhol]] · [[Bill Watterson]] · [[Morris West]] · [[Walt Whitman]] · [[Ella Wheeler Wilcox]] · [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]] · [[William Butler Yeats]]

'''[[List_of_films|Films]]:''' ''[[Groundhog Day]] · [[Harvey]] · [[It's a Wonderful Life]] · [[L. A. Confidential]] · [[The Matrix]] · [[The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)]] · [[They Might Be Giants]]''

'''[[List of theatrical plays and musicals|Theatrical Plays and Musicals]]:''' [[Into the Woods]] 

'''[[List of categories|Other Categrories]]: [[Quote of the Day archive|Quote of the Day Archives]] · [[Famous last words]] · [[Epitaphs]] · [[List of advertising slogans|Famous Advertising Slogans]] · [[Television Shows|TV Shows]] · [[Electronic Games]] · [[List of proverbs|Folk Proverbs]] · List of [[Wikiquote:Wikiquotians|Wikiquotians]] · [[Wikiquote:Utilities|Utilities]] · [[Wikiquote:Village pump|Village pump]] · [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]'''

Most of the above are listed because they contain gems of positive inspiration, but some worthy articles such as ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]'' provide a reminder of how nightmarish the misguided ''can'' be, and of such harm as ''can'' be done to individuals and to society whenever Liberty, Truth, and Love are not paramount concerns. There is always immense tragedy wherever the levels of oppression, dishonesty, and hatred of vital impulses that people are willing to manifest are the primary means to obtaining status, power, comfort, —and such ''apparent'' personal &quot;safety&quot; as exists without regard for the beauty or '''''[[w:Reality|reality]]''''' of the '''''[[w:Eternity|eternal]] [[w:Soul|soul]]''''' which manifests ''only'' through '''[[Love]]'''.

Certainly many famous people, important [[:Category:Themes|themes]], major literary works, and motion pictures remain to be added, and even more categories can be developed. 

I was long one of the administrators here, which never gave me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided. 
{{List of admins}}
'''These are the people to contact if you observe any recurring abuse of Wikiquote privileges, and feel a user should be blocked or a page protected from edits, or a page deleted.''' Many of these people are no longer very active here, but I intend to be around most days, and remain involved to the extent which I can. Luckily, the problems that have occurred here thus far have been relatively minor, and some apparent abuse might have been accidents or novices to wikis amazed that they are actually permitted to do edits to the pages without the prior approval of anyone. Those who persist in vandalizing the wiki (or the wiki ''process'' itself, with the accumulation or development of needless rules or presumptions of authority), will need to be dealt with more vigorously, through various means of non-violent [[w:Direct action|direct action]].

I intend to do at least a little work on this project on most days; copying, editing, and formatting many quotations from many diverse authors and sources, and to simply observe the progress of it, and expect that ''many'' people will eventually be inspired to contribute an extensive amount to this developing compendium of wit and wisdom.

I do not intend to always respond promptly to queries and comments, but sometimes might just be carefully formulating my response in a way that takes into account the many considerations that I believe should be involved in any decisions upon many matters.

'''I send my best of wishes to all those who are prompted to increase the awareness potentials of themselves and others in respectful and beneficial ways. 

There are some truths that I feel are rarely expressed or repeated often enough, and are too seldom thought upon by many, so I will end as I began, quoting a small portion of what I can remember from a childhood dream; one of the slight variants of the statement with which I began, and which my soul continually affirms: 

:: '''Love is the ultimate of holies, by which all else derives its worth.'''
:::::::~ '''''[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]''''' ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 01:44, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #B0C4DE; background-color: #B0C4DE;&quot;&gt; '''This is the primary account of Kalki, who has also used many other account-names here, some since the very first days of this Wiki.''' &lt;p&gt; &lt;big&gt; &lt;big&gt; &quot;If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it.&quot; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;/big&gt; &lt;br&gt; '''Foundational Principles against overly-controlling forces developing on the wikis.''' &lt;br&gt; Even if you have read them before, PLEASE EXAMINE ANEW: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Ignore all rules|Wikipedia:Ignore all rules]]''', and the other links available there, including [[w:Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not#Wikipedia_is_not_a_democracy|the links delineating much which Wikipedia was NOT]].''' &lt;br&gt; These were some of the earliest directives established by the founding workers on the Wikimedia projects. &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;'''Ignore all rules: If rules make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the wiki, then ignore them entirely and go about your business.'''&quot; ~ [[w:Wikipedia:Historical archive/RulesToConsider|RulesToConsider]] &lt;br&gt; 
&quot;[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Ignore_all_rules&amp;diff=70516723 IAR is policy, always has been]&quot; ~ Wikipedia founder [[Jimmy Wales]]
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; cellspacing=&quot;3&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 4em; border: 2px solid #9999FF; background-color: #CCCCFF;&quot;&gt;'''I am one of the administrators here, which doesn't give me any special authority… only a bit more ability to keep others from misusing the privileges provided.''' I am in a period of very intermittent but gradually developing activity here, and follow no set schedule. &lt;!-- A devotion to preserving and expanding many forms of [[Awareness]], [[Life]], [[Love]] and appreciation of the principles of [[Justice]], [[Unity]] [[Liberty]] and [[Joyous]] [[Universalist]] [[Love]] in truly profound and genuine ways far beyond that of lip-service, based on an intense commitment to the crucial [[virtues]] of [[humility]], [[courage]], [[honesty]] and [[compassion]], continues to guide me and abide with me. --&gt;  ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 03:26, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
==  &lt;center&gt; Ω &lt;/center&gt;   ==
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Wikipedia-logo A pt.svg|44px]]&lt;br&gt; '''If [[rules]] make you nervous and depressed, and not desirous of participating in the Wiki, then ignore them and go about your [[business]].'''
| author = Lee Daniel Crocker
}}
[[File:Ankh.svg|link= Life|23px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  '''I am an [[:Category:Anarchists|Anarchist]] not because I believe [[Anarchism]] is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.'''
| author = Rudolf Rocker
}}
[[File:AforAnarcho.svg|link=Anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote = I told you when I came I was a [[stranger]].
| author = Leonard Cohen
}}[[File:Übersicht der Fundamentalteilchen.svg|44px|center]]&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; [[File:D06 strange.jpg|44px|center]] --&gt; 
&lt;!-- [[File:Smiley.svg|29px|center]] [[File:The Comedian weapons.jpg|144px|center]] --&gt;
&lt;center&gt;You know when you have a [[dream]] and you're half-awake, but still in the fringe of your [[brain]] …&lt;br&gt;  then you open your [[eyes]] and you're so damned glad it was a dream? &lt;br&gt; '''[[Cosmos|This]] was ''[[Nothing|NOTHING]]'' like that.''' &lt;br&gt; &lt;small&gt; ~ &lt;!-- Wesley Allan Gibson (WAG)--&gt;[[Wanted (2008 film)|Wesley, son of Cross, in ''Wanted'']] ~ &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/center&gt; 
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[File:Monkey 2.svg|44px]] &lt;p&gt; '''[[The All|The movie]] never changes.''' &lt;br /&gt;  '''It can't [[change]]'''; but every [[time]] you [[Vision|see]] it, it seems different because '''[[Self|you're different]].''' &lt;br /&gt; '''You see different things.'''
| author = [[Bruce Willis|J. C.]] ~&lt;br /&gt;  in &lt;br /&gt; ~ ''[[12 Monkeys]]''
}}
[[File:Quark structure omega.svg|29px|center]] 
[[File:Banner of Peace from the Roerich Pact.svg|link= Harmony|11px|center]][[File:Caput mortuum.svg|link=Kenosis|23px|center]][[File:Peace sign.svg|link= Peace|29px|center]][[File:A+O.svg|link= Christian anarchism|44px|center]]
{{quote of the day
| quote =  [[File:Dudeism.svg|link=Tao|44px]]  &lt;p&gt; '''[[Dudeism|The Dude abides]].'''  &lt;br&gt; I don't [[know]] about you but I take [[comfort]] in that.  &lt;br&gt;  It's [[good]] [[Knowledge|knowin']] he's out there.  &lt;br&gt; [[Humanity|The Dude]].  &lt;br&gt; Takin' 'er easy for all us [[Sin|sinners]].
| author = [[Angel|The]] [[Stranger]] ~&lt;br&gt; in  &lt;br&gt;~ ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''
}}
__TOC__
&lt;/center&gt;
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: Before agreeing to defer to an IMPOSITION to restrict editing here ONLY to the '''Kalki''' account, until such a time as the issues involved could be more thoroughly addressed and decided upon, in order to lift a [[User:Kalki/Outrages_of_October_-_November_2010#Administrative_action_against_user_Kalki_in_this_matter|PLAINLY IMPROPER and POLICY VIOLATING BLOCK]] by {{user|Cirt}}, this user had additionally made well over '''11,444''' ''contributive'' edits using many other names, for a present count of well over '''147,000''' edits in all. MANY of these names and associated restored userpage messages have been salvaged from defacement at '''''[[User:Kalki/Restorations|Restorations]]'''''. MANY of the thousands of articles either created or significantly worked upon by this user are listed at '''[[User:Kalki/index|Kalki/index]]. ·

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  <page>
    <title>John Lyly</title>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154844</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:58:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2A01:2AC:C2BF:E195:AD97:3337:6C6A:1765</ip>
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      <comment>Source &quot;Fish and guests&quot; quote and add to Euphues section.</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6660" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Euphues the anatomy of wit.jpg|thumb|right|Title page of ''Euphues'', the book that launched Lily's writing career]]

'''[[w:John Lyly|John Lyly]]''' ('''Lilly''' or '''Lylie''') (c. 1553 – 1606) was an English writer, best known for his ''Euphues'' (1579).

{{author-stub}}

== Quotes ==

* Fish and guests in three days are stale.
** ''Euphues'', p. 305

* Cupid and my Campaspe play'd&lt;br&gt;At cards for kisses—Cupid paid:&lt;br&gt;He stakes his quiver, bow, and arrows,&lt;br&gt;His mother's doves, and team of sparrows;&lt;br&gt;Loses them too; then down he throws&lt;br&gt;The coral of his lips, the rose&lt;br&gt;Growing one's cheek (but none knows how);&lt;br&gt;With these, the crystal of his brow,&lt;br&gt;And then the dimple of his chin:&lt;br&gt;All these did my Campaspe win.&lt;br&gt;At last he set her both his eyes—&lt;br&gt;She won, and Cupid blind did rise.&lt;br&gt;O Love! has she done this for thee?&lt;br&gt;What shall, alas! become of me? 
** Poem: ''Cupid and Campaspe'' (c. 1584).

* How at heaven's gates she claps her wings,&lt;br&gt;The morne not waking til she sings.
** ''Cupid and Campaspe'' (c. 1584), Act v, Sc. 1. Compare: &quot;Hark, hark! the lark at heaven's gat sings,/And Phœbus 'gins arise&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], ''Cymbeline'', act ii, sc. 3.

* There can no great smoke arise, but there must be some fire.
** ''Euphues and his Euphœbus'', p. 153, reported in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'', 10th ed. (1919). Compare: &quot;There is no fire without some smoke&quot;, [[John Heywood]], ''Proverbes'', Part ii, Chap. v.

* A clere conscience is a sure carde.
** ''Euphues'', p. 207, reported in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'', 10th ed. (1919). Compare: &quot;This is a sure card&quot;, [[Thersytes]], circa 1550.

* As lyke as one pease is to another.
** ''Euphues'', p. 215, reported in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'', 10th ed. (1919).

=== ''Euphues'' (Arber [1580]) ===
* Be valyaunt, but not too venturous. Let thy attyre bee comely, but not costly.
** P. 39. Compare: &quot;Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,/ But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Hamlet]]'', act i, sc. 3.

* Though the Camomill, the more it is trodden and pressed downe the more it spreadeth.
** P. 46. Compare: &quot;The camomile, the more it is trodden on the faster it grows&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], 1 ''Henry IV'', act ii, sc. 4.

* The finest edge is made with the blunt whetstone.
** P. 47.

* I cast before the Moone.
** P. 78. Compare: &quot;Feare may force a man to cast beyond the moone&quot;, [[John Heywood]], ''Proverbes'', Part i, Chap. iv.

* It seems to me (said she) that you are in some brown study.
** P. 80. Compare: &quot;A brown study&quot;, [[Jonathan Swift]], ''Polite Conversation''.

* The soft droppes of rain perce the hard marble; many strokes overthrow the tallest oaks.
** P. 81. Compare: &quot;Water continually dropping will wear hard rocks hollow&quot;, [[Plutarch]], ''Of the Training of Children''; &quot;''Stillicidi casus lapidem cavat''&quot; (translation: &quot;Continual dropping wears away a stone&quot;), [[Lucretius]], i. 314; &quot;Many strokes, though with a little axe,/ Hew down and fell the hardest-timber'd oak&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], 3 ''Henry VI'', act ii, sc. 1.

* He reckoneth without his Hostesse. Love knoweth no lawes.
** P. 84. Compare: &quot;Reckeners without their host must recken twice&quot;, [[John Heywood]], ''Proverbes'', Part i, Chap. viii.

* That honourable estate of Matrimony, which was sanctified in Paradise, allowed of the Patriarches, hallowed of the olde Prophets, and commended of al persons.
** P. 86.

* Did not Jupiter transforme himselfe into the shape of Amphitrio to embrace Alcmæna; into the form of a swan to enjoy Leda; into a Bull to beguile Io; into a showre of gold to win Danae?
** P. 93. Compare: &quot;Jupiter himself was turned into a satyr, a shepherd, a bull, a swan, a golden shower, and what not for love&quot;, [[Robert Burton]], ''Anatomy of Melancholy'', part iii, sec ii, mem. i, subs. 1.

* Lette me stande to the maine chance.
** P. 104. Compare: &quot;The main chance&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], 1 ''Henry VI'', act i, sc. 1.; [[Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', part ii' canto ii.; [[John Dryden]], ''Persius'', satire vi.

* I mean not to run with the Hare and holde with the Hounde.
** P. 107. Compare: &quot;To hold with the hare and run with the hound&quot;, [[John Heywood]], ''Proverbes'', Part i, Chap. x.

* Rather fast then surfette, rather starue then striue to exceede.
** P. 108.

* Is it not true which Seneca reporteth, that as too much bending breaketh the bowe, so too much remission spoyleth the minde?
** P. 112.

* It is a world to see.
** P. 116. Compare: &quot;'T is a world to see&quot;, [[William Shakespeare]], ''Taming of the Shrew'', act ii, sc. 1.

===In Popular Culture===
&quot;Be valyaunt, but not too venturous&quot; is quoted in ''[[Jeeves and Wooster]]'', when Wooster is playing golf, and getting his ball into the rough once too often. In this, he refers to Lyly simply as &quot;The Poet&quot;

=== ''Euphues and his England'' ===
* Goe to bed with the Lambe, and rise with the Larke.
** P. 229. Compare: &quot;To rise with the lark and go to bed with the lamb&quot;, [[Breton]], ''Court and Country'', 1618 (reprint, page 182); &quot;Rise with the lark, and with the lark to bed&quot;, [[James Hurdis]], ''The Village Curate''.

* A comely olde man as busie as a bee.
** P. 252.

* Maydens, be they never so foolyshe, yet beeing fayre they are commonly fortunate.
** P. 279.

* Where the streame runneth smoothest, the water is deepest.
** P. 287. Compare: &quot;Passions are likened best to floods and streams: The shallow murmur, but the deep are dumb&quot;, Sir [[Walter Raleigh]], ''The Silent Lover''.

* Your eyes are so sharpe that you cannot onely looke through a Milstone, but cleane through the minde.
** P. 289.

* Fishe and gesse in three dayes are stale.
** [https://books.google.ch/books?id=4_ENAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22fishe%20and%22&amp;f=false#v=onepage&amp;q=%22fishe%20and%22%20%22in%20three%22%20%22dayes%20are%20stale%22 P. 305./306.]

* I am glad that my Adonis hath a sweete tooth in his head.
** P. 308.

* For experience teacheth me that straight trees have crooked roots.
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=3xRbAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=&amp;quot;for+experience+teacheth+me+that+straight+trees+have+crooked+roots&amp;quot;&amp;pg=PA311#v=onepage P. 311]

* A Rose is sweeter in the budde than full blowne.
** P. 314. Compare: &quot;The rose is fairest when 't is budding new&quot;, Sir [[Walter Scott]], ''Lady of the Lake'', canto iii. st. 1.

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lyly, John}}
[[Category:Novelists from England]]
[[Category:English playwrights]]
[[Category:English poets]]
[[Category:Politicians from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:1550s births]]
[[Category:1606 deaths]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Tupac Shakur</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>1588</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154551</id>
      <parentid>3154502</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:46:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="30510" xml:space="preserve">{{refimprove}}
'''[[w:Tupac Shakur|Tupac Amaru Shakur]]''' ([[June 16]], [[1971]] – [[September 13]], [[1996]]) was an American rapper and actor. He was also step-nephew of Black power activist [[Assata Shakur]].

==Quotes== 
[[File:Calaveras Museo Atropológico-Madrid.jpg|thumb|Accept no substitutes; I bring truth to the youth.; [[Death|Killing]] ain't [[Fairness|fair]], but somebody's got to do it.]]
[[File:DerelictAsadBabil.JPEG|thumb|My adversaries crumble when we rumble; it's a catastrophe.]]
[[File:Ferguson, Day 4, Photo 13.png|thumb|It's not going to stop until we stop it. And it's not just white men that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white men that's keeping us trapped. It's black.]]
[[File:Bed-Stuy in the Snow.jpg|thumb|The same crime element that white people are scared of, black people are scared of. The same crime element that white people fear, black people fear. So we defend our self from the same crime element that they are scared of... While they are waiting for legislation to pass and everything, we're next door to the killer, we're next door to him you know. Because we're up in the projects... All them killers that they letting out, they're right there in that building. Just because we're black we get along with the killers or something? We get along with rapists because we're black and from the same hood? What is that? We need protection too.]]
[[File:Confederate_100_Dollars.jpg|thumb|Currency means nothing if you still ain't free; money breeds jealousy.]]
[[File:US_Navy_091022-N-8607R-030_Capt._John_Funk,_commanding_officer_of_the_amphibious_assault_ship_USS_Bonhomme_Richard_(LHD_6).jpg|thumb|My aim is to spread more smiles than tears; utilize lessons learned from my childhood years.]]
[[File:Arco_iris_circular.JPG|thumb|Take the game from me; I hope for better days.]]
[[File:Hermandad_-_friendship.jpg|thumb|I'm not on this all-white or all-black shit. I'm on this all-real or all fake shit with people, whatever color you are.]]
[[File:Sagging.jpg|thumb|Every 'brother' ain't a brother. They will do you. So just because it's black, don't mean it's cool. And just because it's white don't mean it's evil.]]

===1990s===

*Accept no substitutes; I bring truth to the youth.
**[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/2pac/hollaifyahearme.html &quot;Holla If Ya Hear Me&quot;] (1993).
**We all gonna die, we bleed from similar veins
**[https://lovequotesz.com/tupac-shakur-quotes/ TUPAC SHAKUR QUOTES] (2020)

====Malcolm X Grassroots Movement, Atlanta (1992)====
*First, I wanna say 'peace' to my mother. She's not here but I gotta give a 'peace out' to her because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my mother.

*It's not going to stop until &quot;we&quot; stop it. And it's not just white man that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white man that's keeping us trapped. It's &quot;black.&quot; And we have to find the new African in everybody... But before we can be African, we gotta be black first.

*What I want you to take seriously is what we have to do for the youth.

*You grew up, we grew up B.C. Before crack. That's just saying it all. You understand? You don't have parents... You have young kids, fourteen, coming home and their mama is smoking out, going to their best friend to get the product.

*It's not just about you taking care of &quot;your&quot; child. It's about you taking care of ''these children.''

*First, I want to say peace to my mother. She's not here, but I've got to give a 'peace out' to her, because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my mother. And, I look in the front of this thing and it says 'start from within to rebuild our original greatness.' Right?  Okay, well that's what my mother did. You know what I'm saying? And I'm listen about freedom fighters and strugglers. Well you got to understand when it was 'in' to have a gun and be in the streets, my mother gave that up to be in a house and wash the dishes and feed us. You know what I'm saying? And put the thoughts in our brain. We didn't get any of that history from all of those soldiers that we lost. We got none of that. They all went to jail if you can remember that. They all went to penitentiaries. We didn't see none of that knowledge. If it was not for my mother, that stayed home, and didn't go out and do all that, then I wouldn't have shit, excuse my language. But, I wouldn't have been nowhere. So what I want to do hopefully is. I want to be, not I want to be, I am Tupac Shakur. I have to be a reminder that we cant chill out. No, it not time cool out in banquets, its still on. It's on just like it was on when you were young and you want to say 'fuck that'. Just like you said 'fuck that', back then. So how come, now that I'm twenty years old and ready to start some shit, everybody's telling me to 'calm down'. Don't curs them, go to school, go to college. Well, fuck that. We have had colleges for awhile now. You know what I'm sayin? There's still Brenda's out there and niggas are still trapped. You know what I'm saying? And it gets me, irked. You know what I'm saying? Because I understand that it's not going to stop. You know what I'm saying? 

*'''It's not going to stop until ''we'' stop it. And it's not just white men that's doing this to Brenda. It's not just white men that's keeping us trapped. It's 'black',''' and we have to find the new African in everybody. In all of us, because if we keep running around looking for black and who got the most colors on or who got the baddest dashiki, we're still going to, excuse my language, we're still going to get fucked. Because it hurts me that my mother right now is going though, you know, she has to get clean. This is somebody I watched travel the whole country. You know what I'm saying? During the time when our women were scared to speak up. But, a Black Panther she spoke at Harvard, Yale, everywhere and now. I see my mother as what's really going on. You know what I'm saying? I don't see no big parade around my mother now. She's got a dozen fucking awards, and I don't see nobody there. You understand what I'm saying? So out of this, I take that lightly. I take all this lightly. 

*What I want you to take seriously, is what we have to do for the youth. Because we're coming up in a totally different world. This is not the same world that you had this is not 6th Street its not. You grew up, we grew up B.C. Before crack. That's just saying it all. You understand? We did not grow up without parents. You had parents that told you this and that and told you what went on back in the day. You have young kids, fourteen, coming home and their mama is smoking out, going to their best friend to get the product. You understand what I'm saying? So that means it's not just about you taking care of &quot;your&quot; child. It's about you taking care of &quot;these children&quot;. It hurts that I got to, it bothers me, not hurts, that I have to sidestep my youth to stand up and do some shit that somebody else is suppose to be doing. You understand what I'm saying? There's too many men out here for me to be doing this, because it ain't my turn yet. I'm supposed to be following behind him getting the knowledge. I don't even got a chance to get the fucking knowledge. I can't go to college. There's too much problems out here. I don't got the money. Nobody does. You understand what I'm saying? So what I'm saying is, it's not as easy as we're mapping it out to be. We've got to stay real. Before we can be new African we've gotta be black first. You understand? We've gotta get our brothers from the streets like Harriett Tubman did. Why can't we look at that and see exactly what she was doing? Like Malcolm did, the real Malcolm, before the Nation of Islam. You've got to remember, this was a pimp. You know what I'm saying, we forgot about all that. In our strive to be enlightened we forgot about all our brothers in the street, about all our dope dealers, our pushers and our pimps, and that's who's teaching the new generation, because y'all not doing it. I'm sorry. But, it's the pimps and pushers who's teaching us. So, if you got a problem with how we were raised, its because they was the only ones who could do it. They the only ones who did it, because everybody else wanted to go to college, and you know, yeah everything's changed, they were the ones telling you 'the white man ain't shit, there you go, check this out young blood, you take this product, you switch it, you get money and that's how you beat the white man, you get money, you get the hell up out of here.' Nobody else did that. So I don't wanna hear shit about nobody telling me who I can't love and respect until you start doing what they did. To me, this is Mecca. This is the black family. You know what I'm saying? But, what makes it that much sadder, what makes me wanna cry, is that when I leave this place, so does Mecca. You understand what I'm saying? We're going back to the real deal. Right out there, you're going see the same sisters and Brenda, they're right out there, and y'all are going to get in your cars and drive the fuck home.

====''[[w:Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z...|Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z...]]'' (February 16, 1993)====

* They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.
** &quot;Keep Ya Head Up&quot;

====MTV interview (1994)====
* To dance with the naked [blow-up] doll, that was me! That's what I mean by I'm real, I'm truly hardcore, because I needed the money and I had to work. So if he told me that for me to get paid I had to go out there in bikini briefs and hop on top of this [blow-up] doll and that's how I gotta get paid, and I was homeless at the time, that's what I had to do. But What I did was not let him pimp me, you know what I'm saying. It wasn't like I just did that because that was my order. As soon as I got the check's to say what was on my mind, I said what was on my mind. And we have a platinum record now, you know what I'm saying.

* You have to work from one point to go to another. So I admire work ethic, I think it should be re-inforced through out our neigbourhoods, that everybody should work hard, practice makes perfect, you have to be diligent with what you want, you have to apply your self, you have to motivate your self. You have to do for-self by your self, and then you can do things for other people. But that's what I had to do, I had to do for-self.

* I want, when they see me, They know that everyday when I'm breathing is for us to go further. Everytime I speak I want the truth to come out. Not one person even realizes that I have white relatives, my cousin just had a son who is “White” but everytime I speak I want a shiver so yes, I do omit things that I feel are not accurately portraying my “character”. I don't want them to be like; they know what I'm gonna say, because it's polite. Im not saying I'm gonna rule the world or I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee you that I will spark the brain that will change the world. And that's our job, It's to spark somebody else watching us. We might not be the one's, but let's not be selfish and because we not gonna change the world let's not talk about how we should change it. I don't know how to change it, but I know if I keep talking about how dirty it is out here, somebody's gonna clean it up.

* I gotta big mouth, I can't help it, I talk from my heart, I'm real you know what I'm sayin whatever comes comes. But my controverse problems, It's not my fault, I try to find my way in the world you know, I try to be somebody instead of just, make money off of everybody. You know what im saying, so I go down paths that haven't been traveled before and I usually mess up, but I learn, you know what I'm saying, I come back stronger, I'm not talking ignorant, you know what I'm saying. So obviously put thought into what I do. So I think my mouth, my controverse, I have not been out of the paper since I joined Digital Underground, I've been in all, you know what I'm saying, my name has not been not uttered, you know what I'm saying, and that's good for me because I don't wanna be forgotten. If I'm forgotten then that means I'm comfortable and that means I think everything is okay.

====Ed Gordon interview (1994)====
* '''It's like a battle, trying to find the right words to say at the right time.'''

* '''It's a constant man-ego-check going on in the streets, in this world.'''

* I believe honestly that I can talk. I believe that I have the ability to reason, I have logic, I have compassion, I have understanding. If we talk there's no problem you know what I'm saying. But that's not what happened. People used what they heard in media and that's how they come at me, and then you know we got a clash.

* '''If your not cheering for me, for what I'm doing, don't cheer for me. Don't cheer cause you think I'm cute, you know what I'm saying, screw that. Cheer for me for what I'm doing, for what I stand for, and when I go to jail you should cheer louder.'''

* '''I have no patience for anybody that doubts me, none at all.'''

* '''I'm not thuggin' for me, I'm thuggin' for my family, I pay all the bills, I feed my whole family, wrong or right, I do and I can't stop.'''

* The main thing for us to remember is that, the same crime element that white people are scared of, black people are scared of. The same crime element that white people fear, black people fear. So we defend our self from the same crime element that they are scared of, you know what I'm saying, while they are waiting for legislations to pass and everything, we're next door to the killer, we're next door to him you know. Because we up in the projects where it's 80 niggas in the building. All them killers that they letting out, they're right there in that building. Just because we're black we get along with the killers or something? We get along with rapist's because we're black and from the same hood? What is that? We need protection too.

* I made a metamorphose, I'm a new person today, because I used to strongly and honestly, honestly! I feel like I can represent my generation so much because I honestly did not care whether I lived or died. But now I can not die, with people thinking I'm a rapist or a criminal, I can not leave until this shit is straight, you know I'm not suicidal. I can't go until ya'll really know what time it is. And then after that, BOOM!, It's all over and we can see how this shit fall, but that's how it is, and the reason being is because if I can't live free, if I can't live with the same respect as the next man, I don't wanna be here, because god has cursed me to see what life should be like, If God wanted me to be this person and be happy here, he wouldn't let me feel so oppressed, he wouldn't let me feel so trampled on, you know what I'm saying, he wouldn't let me think the things I think. So I feel I'm doing Gods work, you know what I'm saying just because I don't have nothing to pass around for people to put money in a bucket don't mean I ain't doing God's work.

====Interview outside courthouse (1994)====
* The only way I've been practicing my whole life, to live my life is to be responsible for what I do. I don't know how to be responsible for what every black male did, I don't know. And yes, I am gonna say that I'm a thug, that's because I came from the gutter and I'm still here! I'm not saying I'm a thug because I wanna rob you or rape people and things. I'm a business man, I mean, you know I'm a business man because you find me at my places of business.

* It's not my liking for guns, what about the NRA? We all have the rights to bear arms, I have that, I have that same right as you do. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I shouldn't have a gun; I legally own guns.

====MTV interview with Tabitha Soren (1995)====
* '''I know how it's gonna be when I die. It's going to be no noise, you ain't going to hear people screaming. I'mma fade out.'''

* Marlon Brando is not a gangster-actor, he's an actor. Axl Rose and them are not gangster rock-and-rollers, they're  rock-and-rollers right. So I'm a rapper, this is what I do. I'm an artist.

* '''I think being humble is sexy.'''

* I think that I'm really, I was a reactionary, and now I don't do that any more. Same person, but I don't react. Before, I reacted. I didn't like the cameras, so I spit. 

* I'm known as a survivor now, I hope so, for the jail thing, bullets and everything, controversies and everything, I hope so. And I want to be in the future known as somebody. You know I want people to be talking about me like you know: &quot;remember when he was real bad, remember when Tupac was real bad&quot;. You know what I mean, they do that about a lot of actors now, like John Travolta I read stories like &quot;remember you were wild&quot;. And all these other people, and now they're like sweet hearts. We all should get that chance, I just want my chance.

====Prison interviews and interrogations (1995)====
:'''Interviewer''': It says &quot;I really got my ass beat. I really don't like police. 
:'''Shakur''': It doesn't say that. Where are you at? Right there... oh. I didn't say that. That's not what it says.
:'''Interviewer''': Okay. 
:'''Shakur''': It says, 'I'm a victim for real. Everything I talk is for real. I really got my ass beat. I really don't like ''them.''.. I really don't like crooked police. 

* '''Jail is big business, believe me. I'm in jail, I see the big business. You can feed a whole town off one jail. This jail is in the middle of a town that feeds everybody. Everybody works here, this is the main income. So if there were no criminals, nobody would work.'''

* '''The guns are turning away from Europe and Russia and Iran and Iraq and they're turning to us.'''

* '''America is the biggest gang in the world.'''

* '''Prison kills your spirit, straight up. It kills your spirit. There is no creativity, there's none of that.'''

* Now if we do wanna live the thug life and the gangsta' life and all that, OK, so stop being cowards and let's have a revolution. But we don't wanna do that, dudes just wanna live &quot;character&quot;, they wanna be &quot;cartoons&quot;, but if they really wanted to do something, they was that tuff, alright, let's start our own country, let's start a revolution, let's get outta' here, let's do something. But they don't wanna do that, they wanna pimp our communities and portray this image that they know we all can't survive and make, and that's what I saw.

* '''No matter what these people say about me, my music does not glorify any image, my music is spiritual if you listen to it. It's all about emotion, it's all about life.'''

* '''Watch people, because you can fake for a long time, but one day you're gonna show yourself to be a phony.''' 

* '''Measure a man by his actions fully, from the beginning to the end. Don't take a piece out of my life or a song out of my music and say this is what I'm about, because you know better than that.'''

* '''I don't feel like what I did was so evil, I just feel like the way I was living and my mentality was a part of my progression to be a man.''' 
* '''Don't support the phonies, support the real.'''

* ''Listen to the words people say in their lyrics, and tell me, if that's some real shit, if that's real to you, you know what I mean. Listen to what they sayin', don't just bob your head to the beat, peep the game, and listen to what Im saying. Hold us accountable for it.''

* '''Trust nobody, TRUST NO BODY.'''

* '''Fear is stronger than love, remember that. Fear is stronger than love, all that love I gave didn't mean nothing when it came to fear.'''

* '''The only thing that can kill me is death, that's the only thing that can ever stop me, is death, and even then my music will live forever.'''

====Interview on the set ''Gridlock'd'' (1996)====
* I've always been an actor, the reason I've been successful in the rap-game I think is that I treat my albums like movies, and I treat writing it like I'm a character writing a story, you know, for each album whatever I'm going through, whatever stages I'm going through, and I do it vividly with vivid pitcure, with action and description, and an beginning and with an end, and conflict, and you know, redemption, things like that. So I feel like I always been an actor and acting is my first love.

* If you thought about it I'm hardly the villain, I'm hardly the one you should be scared of. It's the guy who can't talk, it's the guy without a job, it's the one with scares in his face, not the one clean cut, you know what I mean you should worry about a lot of other things, but not me.

====''Details'' magazine interview (Spring 1996)====
* All good niggas, all the niggas who change the world, die in violence. They don't die in regular ways.

====Interview at Death Row offices (1996)====
* Basically It's a hypocritical view, because what your saying is it's okay for us to live in the dirt, in the gutter, in less than human conditions, but it's not okay for us to tell people that we are living in these conditions.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (February 1996)====
* Everybody's at war with different things... I'm at war with my own heart sometimes.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (June 1996)====
* On the whole, I don't have any friends. Friends come and go; I've lost my trust factor. I believe I have people who think they're my friend. And I believe that there are people probably in their heart who are friends toward me or are friends to me. But they're not my friends, because what I learned is that fear is stronger than love.

====''Vibe'' magazine interview (September 1996)====
* It's not like I idolize this one guy Machiavelli. I idolize that type of thinking where you do whatever's gonna make you achieve your goal.
* This new Makaveli album I got comin' out, I'm takin' on niggas. It's like, my dopest album ever. 
* I am the future of black America.
* Fuck it, I feel like I shine.

====Interview on the set of ''Gang Related'' (1996)====
* '''I can't explain why I shine and no one else shines. I think everybody shines in different things.'''

* The reason I sell 6 million records, the reason I could go to jail and come out without a scratch, the reason I can walk around, the reason I am who I am today is because I can look directly in to my face and find my soul, it's there, it's not sold, i didn't sell it, it's still within me, I still feel it, my heart is still connected to my body.

====''All Eyez on Me'' (1996)====
* My adversaries crumble when we rumble; it's a catastrophe.
**&quot;When We Ride&quot; (1996)

*It seems, my main thing was to be major paid &lt;br&gt; The [[game]] sharper than a motherfucking razor blade &lt;br&gt; Say [[money]] bring [[women|bitches]], bitches bring [[lies]]. &lt;br&gt;
:* All Eyez On Me&quot; (1996)

====&quot;Hit 'Em Up&quot; (1996)====
*You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife.

* Killing ain't fair, but somebody's got to do it.

====''The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory'' (1996)====
*More money means litigating, more player-hating. Got a cell at the pen, for me waiting. Is this my fate?
**[https://play.google.com/music/preview/Te5ppuyfquh4t6lnlla3zs6w33e?lyrics=1 &quot;Hold Ya Head&quot;]

*Currency means nothing if you still ain't free. Money breeds jealousy. Take the game from me; I hope for better days. Trouble comes naturally. Running from authorities. 'Til they capture me, and my aim is to spread more smiles than tears. Utilize lessons learned from my childhood years.
**[https://play.google.com/music/preview/Te5ppuyfquh4t6lnlla3zs6w33e?lyrics=1 &quot;Hold Ya Head&quot;]

* I ain't a [[killer]], but don't push me &lt;br&gt; [[Revenge]] is like the sweetest [[joy]] next to gettin' pussy.
** &quot;Hail Mary&quot;

=== Posthumous attributions ===
====''Tupac: Resurrection'' (2003)====
*Some people say I was a thug and a gangster; other people remember me as a poet and a born leader. But I'm saying to you, measure a man by his actions fully, through his whole life, from the beginning to the end. 

*Remember, this country had a man named [[J. Edgar Hoover]], whose job it was to destroy the credibility of any black man coming up. 

*My mother was pregnant with me while she was in prison. She was her own attorney, never been to law school. She was facing 300 and something odd years. One black woman, pregnant, beat the case. That just goes to show you the strength of a black woman and the strength of the oppressed. 

*When I was a little baby, I remember that one moment of calm peace, and three minutes after that, it was on. 

*But in my homeboys' high school, it's not like that. They don't have trips to go see this Broadway play, they don't read things we read. They didn't know when I was like: &quot;Yo, Shakespeare's dope.&quot;

*The same crime element that white people are scared of black people are scared of. While they waiting for legislation to pass, we next door to the killer. All them killers they let out, they're in that building. Just because we black, we get along with the killers? What is that? We need protection too. 

*You have to be logical. You know? If I know that in this hotel room they have food every day, and I'm knocking on the door every day to eat, and they open the door, let me see the party, let me see them throwing salami all over, I mean, just throwing food around, but they're telling me there's no food.

*Every day, I'm standing outside trying to sing my way in: We are hungry, please let us in. We are hungry, please let us in. After about a week that song is gonna change to: We hungry, we need some food. After two, three weeks, it's like: Give me the food Or I'm breaking down the door. After a year you're just like: I'm picking the lock. Coming through the door blasting.

*It's like, you hungry, you reached your level. We asked ten years ago. We was asking with the Panthers. We was asking with them, the Civil Rights Movement. We was asking. Those people that asked are dead and in jail. So now what do you think we're gonna do? Ask? 

*No, you don't wanna get me started. Jell-O with hair all in the mold. I'd be like, &quot;Damn, man, how are you gonna mess up Jell-O?&quot; Jell-O is so wholesome and family-like. It just ruins it for me. To have a hair in there, yeah. I mean, I'm like, &quot;Come on, Bill Cosby pumps this, man!&quot; 

*And you can't go, &quot;There's a hair in my Jell-O. I'd like to send this back. Can I see the cook, please?&quot; The cook is a big dude named Bubba Joe. 

*I got shot. I always felt like I'd be shot. Somebody was trying to do me some harm because a lot of people don't like me. But I didn't think it was gonna happen at that particular moment. 

* Niggers was the ones with the rope, hanging off trees; Niggas are the ones with gold ropes, hanging out at clubs.

* Measure a man by his actions fully, through his whole life, from the beginning to the end.

* Coming to grips with my past, it was hard. I don't feel like what I did was so evil, I just feel like the way I was living, and my mentality, was part of my progression to be a man.

*I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.

* You grow, we all grow, we're made to grow. You either evolve or disappear.

* Keep ya head up. Do what you gotta do. And then, inside of you, I will be reborn.

* The real tragedy is that there are some ignorant brothers out here. That's why I'm not on this all-white or all-black shit. I'm on this all-real or all fake shit with people, whatever color you are. Because niggas will do you. I mean, there's some [foul] niggas out there [in the streets]; the same niggas that did Malcolm X, the same niggas that did Jesus Christ; every brother ain't a brother. They will do you. So just because it's black, don't mean it's cool. And just because it's white don't mean it's evil.
**From an interview with Tupac Shakur.

* But I know for a fact that had I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn't show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man. When I was young I was quiet, withdrawn. I read a lot, wrote poetry, kept a diary. I watched TV all day. I stayed in front of the television. It was when I was in front of the TV by myself, being alone in the house by myself, having to cook dinner by myself, eat by myself. Just being by myself and looking at TV, at families and all these people out there in this pretend world. I knew I could be part of it if I pretended too, So early on I just watched and emulated ... and I just thirsted for that. I thought if I could be and act like those characters, act like those people, I could have some of their joy. If I could act like I had a big family I wouldn't feel as lonely.

==Discography==
* ''2Pacalypse Now'' (1991)
* ''Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z'' (1993)
* ''Thug Life: Thug Life Vol. 1'' (1994)
* ''Me Against the World'' (1995)
* ''All Eyez on Me'' (1996)
* ''Makaveli: The Don Killuminati: 7 Day Theory'' (1996)
* ''R U Still Down?'' (1997)
* ''2Pac's Greatest Hits'' (1998)
* ''Still I Rise (2Pac + Outlawz)'' (1999)
* ''The Lost Tapes'' (1989/released 2000)
* ''The Rose that Grew from Concrete'' (2000)
* ''Until the End of Time'' (2001)
* ''Better Dayz'' (2002)
* ''Tupac Resurrection'' (2003)
* ''Nu-Mixx Klazzics'' (2003)
* ''2Pac Live'' (2004)
* ''Loyal to the Game'' (2004)
* ''The Rose Vol. 2'' (2005)
* ''Live At The House Of Blues (with Outlawz, Dogg Pound, Snoop Dogg, K-Ci &amp; JoJo)'' (2005)
* ''Pac's Life'' (2006)
* ''Best Of 2Pac Vol 1:Thug'' and ''Vol 2:Life'' (2007)

==External links== 
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
* [http://www.2paclegacy.com 2Pac Legacy] (Official website)
* [http://ohhla.com/YFA_2pac.html OHHLA.COM - verified lyrics archive]
*[http://www.strictlyballin.net Strictlyballin.net] - (2Pac Fansite)
*[http://www.thugz-network.com 2Pac] - (Fansite)
*[https://lovequotesz.com/tupac-shakur-quotes/ 2PAC SHAKUR QUOTES]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Shakur, Tupac Amaru}}
[[Category:1971 births]]
[[Category:1996 deaths]]
[[Category:Musicians from the United States]]
[[Category:Poets from the United States]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:People from California]]
[[Category:African Americans]]
[[Category:Rappers from the United States]]
[[Category:Actors from the United States]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Murdered people]]

Best that ever did it, but couldn't got away with it, he's returning back soon though just watch and see, bend on your knees, pray and expect him like you expect Jesus to come back.</text>
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    <title>Firearm</title>
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        <username>UDScott</username>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by CensoredScribe</comment>
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      <text bytes="124427" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Minute Man, Daniel Chester French, Concord MA.jpg|thumb|Let us hope our weapons are never needed... Do not forget what the common people of this nation knew when they demanded the [[Bill of Rights]]. ~ [[Edward Abbey]]]]
A '''[[w:Firearm|firearm]]''' is a portable gun (a barreled ranged weapon) that inflicts damage on targets by launching one or more projectiles driven by rapidly expanding high-pressure gas produced chemically by exothermic combustion (deflagration) of propellant within an ammunition cartridge.
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== Quotes ==
[[File:American officer and French partisan crouch behind an auto during a street fight in a French city. - NARA - 531322.tif|thumb|An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. ~ [[Edward Abbey]]]]
[[File:A_well.jpg|thumb|Most [[cowboys]] think it's an infringement on their rights to give up shooting in [[town]], and if it is, it stands, for your [[w:Six-shooter|six-shooters]] are no match for [[w:Winchester rifle|Winchesters]] and [[w:Buckshot|buckshot]]; and [[w:Dodge City, Kansas|Dodge]]'s officers are as [[game]] a set of men as ever faced [[danger]]. ~ Andy Adams]]
[[File:Walther PPK.svg|thumb|If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns. ~ Anonymous]]
[[File:Oslo view of city.jpg|thumb|The top 5 countries for mass shootings per capita all have &quot;restrictive&quot; gun policies. ~ Kyle Becker]]
[[File:Bundesarchiv B 145 Bild-P050127, Manöver der Reichswehr in Königshofen-Franken.jpg|thumb|Whatever happens, we have got the Maxim gun, and they have not. ~ [[Hilaire Belloc]] ]]
[[File:Mitch McConnell by Gage Skidmore.jpg|thumb|Oh, you've got a gun? So, you want to pop that? ~ [[Snoop Dogg|Calvin C. Broadus]] ]]
[[File:Burroughs1983 crop b.jpg|thumb|I sure as hell wouldn't want to live in a society where the only people allowed guns are the police and the military. ~ [[William S. Burroughs]] ]]
[[File:Afghanistan 02.jpg|thumb|I settle my vendettas with AKs, Berettas. ~ [[w:D12|Von Carlisle]]]]
[[File:Non violence sculpture by carl fredrik reutersward malmo sweden.jpg|thumb|And I swear that I don't have a gun&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;No, I don't have a gun… ~ [[Kurt Cobain]]]]
[[File:SQ Lethal Injection Room.jpg|thumb|I pull my trigger back; the bullets go. Boom, boom, boom! Now, I'm on death row. ~ [[w:RBX|Eric Collins]] ]]
[[File:NIJ LVLIIIA Kogelvrij vest, BA8001.jpg|thumb|Going wild. Every night they shoot; it's like Beirut. Maybe you should get a Kevlar vest for your chest; anytime stepping through my hood. But that'll do you no good. One slug to your face? Don't hate. You're getting smoked, like wood. ~ [[w:RBX|Eric D. Collins]] ]]
[[File:Colt Police Positive Special.png|thumb|The good people of this world are very far from being satisfied with each other and my arms are the best peacemakers. ~ [[Samuel Colt]] ]]
[[File:Afrimil-ethiopiansoldier.jpg|thumb|You can get much farther with a [[kind]] [[word]] and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. ~ Irwin Corey]]
[[File:Fintlock muskets Palace Armoury Valletta.jpg|thumb|[[War]]! What do you think all these bullets and all these [[w:Guns|guns]]'re made for? ~ [[w:David Banner|Lavell Crump]] ]]
[[File:Scheme_human_hand_bones-en.svg|thumb|You gotta shoot straight! Straight doesn't seem good enough! ~ Hampton Fancher &amp; David Peoples]]
[[File:Kg99.jpg|thumb|Coming out the slums! It's the hoodlums, I'm pulling my gat out on all you bums! ~ [[w:B-Real|Louis Freese]] ]]
[[File:Mahatma Gandhi Ghp.jpg|thumb|Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. ~ [[Mahatma Gandhi]] ]]
[[File:US_Navy_051206-M-7173M-015_Hospital_Corpsman_3rd_Class_Jesse_Munsey,_assigned_to_the_2nd_Battalion,_6th_Marines,_Gulf_Company,_observes_the_road_up_ahead.jpg|thumb|Strapped up, ready to roll. ~ [[w:Boosie Badazz|Torrance Hatch]]]]
[[File:RAH 1929 Yearbook.png|thumb|An armed society is a polite society. ~ [[Robert Heinlein]] ]]
[[File:RepublicanWoman1936GTaro.jpg|thumb|There are no good guns. There are no bad guns. Any gun in the hands of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody — except bad people... ~ [[Charlton Heston]] ]]
[[File:Stroop Report - Warsaw Ghetto Uprising 06b.jpg|thumb|The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the subject races to possess arms. History shows that all conquerors who have allowed their subject races to carry arms have prepared their own downfall by so doing. ~ [[Adolf Hitler]] ]]
[[File:AK-47 assault rifle.jpg|thumb|When that window rolls down and that [[w:AK-47|A.K.]] comes out? You can squeeze your little handgun, until you run out. ~ [[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]] ]]
[[File:Stack of 100 dollar bills.jpg|thumb|Fuck with my [[Money|dough]]? Then, the guns come out! ~ [[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]] ]] 
[[File:101st with members of dutch resistance.jpg|thumb|our States assert, that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves, … or they may act by representatives, freely and equally chosen; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed; that they are entitled to freedom... ~ [[Thomas Jefferson]]]]
[[File:Stroop Report - Warsaw Ghetto Uprising 07.jpg|thumb|The majority falls prey to the delusion, popular in some circles, that ordinary people are too careless and stupid to own guns, and we would be far better off leaving all weapons in the hands of professionals on the government payroll. But the simple truth, born of experience, is that tyranny thrives best where government need not fear the wrath of an armed people. ~ [[w:Alex Kozinski|Alex Kozinski]]]]
[[File:Varsovia.jpg|thumb|All too many of the other great tragedies of history, Stalin's atrocities, the killing fields of Cambodia, the Holocaust, to name but a few, were perpetrated by armed troops against unarmed populations. Many could well have been avoided or mitigated, had the perpetrators known their intended victims were equipped with a rifle and twenty bullets apiece. ~ [[w:Alex Kozinski|Alex Kozinski]]]]
[[File:Stroop_Report_-_Warsaw_Ghetto_Uprising_08.jpg|thumb|If a few hundred Jewish fighters in the Warsaw Ghetto could hold off the Wehrmacht for almost a month with only a handful of weapons, six million Jews armed with rifles could not so easily have been herded into cattle cars. ~ Alex Kozinski]]
[[File:Fire_Lance_Knight.jpg|thumb|200px|Armed men don’t sit down and talk. ~ [[Ursula K. Le Guin]]]]
[[File:Richard Henry Lee - crop.jpg|thumb|To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them. ~ [[Richard Henry Lee]]]]
[[File:JeetKuneDo.svg|thumb|'''Nowadays you don't go around on the street kicking [[people]], punching people — because if you do (makes [[gun]] shape with hand), ''well that's it'' — I don't care how [[good]] you are.''' ~ [[Bruce Lee]]]]
[[File:Harriet Tubman Civil War Woodcut.jpg|thumb|People, let me say God has made you free. Although you have been deprived of your God-given rights by your so-called 'masters', you are now as free as I am, and if those that claim to be your &quot;superiors&quot; do not know that you are free, take the [[sword]] and [[bayonet]] and teach them that you are; for God created all men free, giving to each the same rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:Muszkieterzy.JPG|thumb|200px|I think these things (firearms) were [[invented]] by [[Satan]] himself, for they can’t be defended against with (ordinary) [[weapons]] and fists. '''All human strength vanishes when confronted with firearms.''' A man is dead before he sees what's coming. ~ [[Martin Luther]]]]
[[File:Stroop Report - Warsaw Ghetto Uprising - 26534.jpg|thumb|Because there is nothing proportionate between the armed and the unarmed; and it is not reasonable that he who is armed should yield obedience willingly to him who is unarmed, or that the unarmed man should be secure among armed servants. Because, there being in the one disdain and in the other suspicion, it is not possible for them to work well together. ~ [[Niccolò Machiavelli]]]]
[[File:Honor guard of the People's Liberation Army.jpg|thumb|right|Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. ~ [[Mao Zedong]] ]]
[[File:Aks74u.png|thumb|'''[[w:Riey Freeman|Riley Freeman]]''': [P]retend your some [[stupid]] [[parents]] [[activist]] [[person]]... &lt;br&gt; Who would you rather start a beef with – some [[nerd]] who makes [[video games]], or some [[dude]] with a warehouse full of [[AK-47]]s? ~ [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]]]]
[[File:Charlton_Heston_in_The_Ten_Commandments_film_trailer.jpg|thumb|'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey Freeman]]''': I’ll check the [[Old Testament|old testament]], but I’m pretty sure [[Moses]] wasn’t packin’ heat. ~ [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]]]]
[[File:Tompkins square riot 1874.jpg|thumb|Gun control has always been racist and discriminatory. The ultimate objective of gun control is to control an unarmed people by an armed oppressor. ~ Geoff Metcalf]]
[[File:梨花鎗.jpg|thumb|200px|I can't even think about this movie. I don't WANT to think about it because if I think about it '''I will have to face an ugly truth that has been gnawing through my head...'''&lt;br&gt; This started out as a documentary on [[gun]] [[violence]] in [[America]], but the largest mass murder in our history was just committed — without the use of a single gun! Not a single bullet fired! '''No bomb was set off, no missile was fired, no weapon (i.e., a device that was solely and specifically manufactured to kill humans) was used. A boxcutter! — I can't stop thinking about this. A thousand [[gun control]] [[laws]] would not have prevented this massacre.''' What am I doing? ~ [[Michael Moore]]]]
[[File:Flag of Mississippi (1894-1996).png|thumb|No freedman, Negro, or Mulatto shall carry or keep firearms or ammunition. ~ ''Mississippi Black Code of 1865'']]
[[File:KristNovoselic2011.jpg|thumb|I mean I'm a gun-owning [[pacifist]], so there you go. ~ [[Krist Novoselic]] ]]
[[File:Stroop Report - Warsaw Ghetto Uprising - 26546.jpg|thumb|Arms like laws discourage and keep the invader and the plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world... Horrid mischief would ensue were one half the world deprived of the use of them; for while avarice and ambition have a place in the heart of man, the weak will become a prey to the strong. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:Léonard-rouet.jpg|thumb|200px|The more people know that members of our community may be armed, the less likely they will be to single us out for attack. ~ [[w:Pink Pistols|Pink Pistols]]]]
[[File:Minute Man Statue Lexington Massachusetts cropped.jpg|thumb|The right of the citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered, as the palladium of the liberties of a republic; since it offers a strong moral check against the usurpation and arbitrary power of rulers. ~ [[Joseph Story]] ]]
[[File:Mossberg 500 2 barrels.png|thumb|A shotgun is a tool. The correct application in the right situation will give you the best results. ~ [[w:Ken Swift|Ken Swift]] ]]
[[File:Gabrielle Giffords shooting scene A.jpg|thumb|Why are the feds worried about me clocking on this corner, when there's politicians out here getting popped in [[Arizona]]? ~ [[w:Freddie Gibbs|Fredrick Tipton]]]]
[[File:'Twenty_Thousand_Leagues_Under_the_Sea'_by_Neuville_and_Riou_034.jpg|thumb|[T]he balls sent by this gun are not ordinary balls, but little cases of glass. These glass cases are covered with a case of steel, and weighted with a pellet of lead; they are real Leyden bottles, into which the electricity is forced to a very high tension. With the slightest shock they are discharged, and the animal, however strong it may be, falls dead. ~ [[Jules Verne]]]]
[[File:Tom 500 nightfiring.jpg|thumb|right|Even a pacifist would get violent if someone were trying to kill him or her. You would fight for your life, whatever your beliefs. ~ [[Bruce Willis]] ]]
[[File:El subfusil de Neo en Matrix (5400871349).jpg|thumb|So what do you need? Besides a [[miracle]]? ~ [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana Wachowski]]]]
[[File:Indians_Attacking_a_Stage-Coach_BAH-p243.png|thumb|“People were allowed to own guns, and everyone did own guns [in the West], for the most part. Having a firearm to protect yourself in the lawless wilderness from wild animals, hostile native tribes, and outlaws was a wise idea. But when you came into town, you had to either check your guns if you were a visitor or keep your guns at home if you were a resident. ~ Adam Winkler]]
[[File:Mexican_Standoff.jpg|thumb|200px|I've never seen any rhetoric from that time period saying that the only thing that's going to reduce violence is more people with guns. It seems to be much more of a 20th-century attitude than one associated with the [[w:Wild West|Wild West]]. ~ Adam Winkler]]
[[File:Sniper is aiming at night at Fuerzas Comando 2011.jpg|thumb|right|Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's [[Superman]]. Give him two and he thinks he's [[God]]. ~ [[w:Barry Wong|Barry Wong]] and [[w:John Woo|John Woo]]]]
[[File:Shotguns.jpg|thumb|200px|If the white man doesn’t want the black man buying rifles and shotguns, then let the government do its job. [...] If he’s not going to do his job in running the government and providing you and me with the protection that our taxes are supposed to be for, since he spends all those billions for his defense budget, he certainly can’t begrudge you and me spending $12 or $15 for a single-shot, or double-action. ~ [[Malcolm X]]]]
[[File:Armstech (Metal Gear) Logo.png|thumb|&quot;[[w:Video games|Games]] today are very, very real. It's the [[weapons]]; it's the [[w:Story line|story lines]], you know, that people get caught up in — even the optics that are used on the guns, it says L-3 [[w:EOTech|EOTech]]. It actually has the name of the brand on the side of it so you know which optic, you know, you could go out and buy. ~ Sami Yenigun]]
[[File:Thomas_C2_interior_seats.jpg|thumb|Dear friends, on 9 October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends, too. They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed. And out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born. I am the same Malala. My ambitions are the same. My hopes are the same. And my dreams are the same. Dear sisters and brothers, I am not against anyone. Neither am I here to speak in terms of personal revenge against the Taliban or any other terrorist group. I am here to speak for the right of education for every child. I want education for the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all the terrorists and extremists. I do not even hate the Talib who shot me. ~ [[Malala Yousafzai]]]]
[[File:FireLanceAndGrenade10thCenturyDunhuang.jpg|thumb|Even if there was a gun in my hand and he was standing in front of me, I would not shoot him. This is the compassion I have learned from [[Muhammad|Mohamed]], the prophet of mercy, [[Jesus Christ]] and Lord [[Buddha]]. This the legacy of change I have inherited from [[Martin Luther King]], [[Nelson Mandela]] and [[Muhammad Ali Jinnah|Mohammed Ali Jinnah]]. This is the philosophy of nonviolence that I have learned from [[Gandhi]], [[wikipedia:Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan|Bacha Khan]] and [[Mother Teresa]]. And this is the forgiveness that I have learned from my father and from my mother. '''This is what my soul is telling me: be peaceful and love everyone.''' ~ [[Malala Yousafzai]] ]]

===A===
* '''The tank, the B-52, the fighter-bomber, the state-controlled police and military are the weapons of dictatorship. The rifle is the weapon of [[democracy]].''' Not for nothing was the revolver called an &quot;equalizer.&quot; Egalite implies liberte. And always will. '''Let us hope our weapons are never needed — but do not forget what the common people of this nation knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny.'''
** [[Edward Abbey]], ''Abbey's Road'' (1979)

* I stand with Survivors Empowered and other organizations fighting for gun reform. And I've been a strong supporter of controversial activist strategies over the past 50 years. But we need to be effective so that we change the country for the better without curtailing the legitimate rights of others. As I have learned the hard way, social change is exceedingly slow and cautious, and moves at all only because we continually prod it to do so. We all seek peace, but as [[W.B. Yeats]] wrote, &quot;Peace comes dropping slow.&quot;
** [[w:Kareem Abdul-Jabbar|Kareem Abdul-Jabbar]], [https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-joker-gun-violence-protests-miss-mark-1244763 “Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Why the 'Joker' Gun Violence Protests Miss the Mark”], ''The Hollywood Reporter'', (10/2/2019).

* The [[w:Bison hunting|buffalo hunters]] and range men have protested against the [[iron]] [[rule]] of [[w:Dodge City, Kansas|Dodge's]] peace officers, and nearly every protest has cost human life. ... Most [[cowboys]] think it's an infringement on their rights to give up shooting in [[town]], and if it is, it stands, for your [[w:Six-shooter|six-shooters]] are no match for [[w:Winchester rifle|Winchesters]] and [[w:Buckshot|buckshot]]; and Dodge's officers are as [[game]] a set of men as ever faced [[danger]].
** Andy Adams, ''Log of a Cowboy'', (1903); as qtd. in Matt Jancer, [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/gun-control-old-west-180968013/ “Gun Control Is as Old as the Old West”], ''Smithsonian'', (February 5, 2018).

* '''If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.'''
** [[Anonymous]] American adage, as quoted in ''The Wayward Welfare State'' (1981) by Roger A. Freeman, p. 286
** When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
*** Bumper sticker, quoted in ''Design with Type'' (1982) by Carl Dair, p. 174.

*  ''Лучше старенький ТТ, чем дзюдо и каратэ.''
** The old [[w:TT pistol|TT]] is better than judo and karate.
*** [[Anonymous]] [http://demotivation.me/iblspgblcmdnpic.html Russian proverb]

* To suppose arms in the hands of citizens, to be used at individual discretion, except in private self-defense, or by partial orders of towns, countries or districts of a state, is to demolish every constitution, and lay the laws prostrate, so that liberty can be enjoyed by no man; it is a dissolution of the government. '''The fundamental law of the militia is, that it be created, directed and commanded by the laws, and ever for the support of the laws'''.
** [[John Adams]], &quot;A Defence of the Constitutions of the United States&quot;, (January 1787).

* And that the said Constitution be never construed to authorize Congress to infringe the just liberty of the press, or the rights of conscience; '''or to prevent the people of the United States, who are peaceable citizens, from keeping their own arms'''.
** [[Samuel Adams]], (6 February 1788), reported in Charles Hale, ''Debates and Proceedings in the Convention of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts'' (1856), p. 86. This language was proposed in the Massachusetts convention for ratification of the U.S. Constitution to be added to Article I of that document.

* Fear of gun-buying restrictions has been the main driver of spikes in gun sales, far surpassing the effects of mass shootings and terrorist attacks alone.
** {{cite news |newspaper=[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]] |title=What Happens After Calls for New Gun Restrictions? Sales Go Up |first1=Gregor |last1=Aisch |first2=Josh |last2=Keller |date=June 13, 2016 |accessdate=November 4, 2018 |url=https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/10/us/gun-sales-terrorism-obama-restrictions.html}}

* Real G, thoroughbred from the streets. Pants sagging, with my gun in my drawers.
**Akon, &quot;Soul Survivor&quot; (2005)

*&lt;p&gt;Suddenly the men of Troop G pause and wheel around, rifles upraised.&amp;nbsp; At 12:24 one of them, possibly an officer, fires his weapon.&amp;nbsp; This is immediately followed by a staccato sound like a series of giant firecrackers exploding.&amp;nbsp; At least ten guardsmen fire fifty-five rifle bursts, five pistol shots, and a shotgun blast at students over a hundred yards away in the parking lot.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When echoes of the fusillade fade away, thirteen bodies are sprawled on the ground.&amp;nbsp; Nine students are wounded.&amp;nbsp; Four are dead—Allison Krause, Bill Schroeder, Sandra Scheuer, and Jeffrey Miller.&amp;nbsp; Of the thirteen who were shot, only two have been hit frontally.&amp;nbsp; Seven have bullets in their sides and four in their backs, proving they were not advancing but fleeing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;One young guardsman is horrified by the spectacle.&amp;nbsp; Falling to the ground and tossing hysterically, he cries out, &quot;I just shot two teenagers!&quot;&amp;nbsp; The other guardsmen march off up the hill, leaving the dead and wounded behind.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:Jules Archer|Jules Archer]] on the [[Kent State shootings]], [http://alexpeak.com/twr/kstttstn/ &quot;Kent State—the Tragedy that Shook the Nation,&quot;] chapter one of ''The Incredible Sixties: The Stormy Years that Changed America'' (San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1986), pp. 2–3

===B===
* The laws of [false utility] are those which forbid to wear arms, disarming those only who are not disposed to commit the crime which the laws mean to prevent. Can it be supposed, that those who have the courage to violate the most sacred laws of humanity, and the most important of the code, will respect the less considerable and arbitrary injunctions, the violation of which is so easy, and of so little comparative importance? Does not the execution of this law deprive the subject of that personal liberty, so dear to mankind and to the wise legislator?
** Cesare Beccaria, ''On Crimes and Punishments'', 1764, Chapter 40 [http://wiki.monticello.org/mediawiki/index.php/Laws_that_forbid_the_carrying_of_arms], this has sometimes been wrongly attributed to [[Thomas Jefferson]].  Jefferson transcribed this passage (in the original Italian) in his [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/ampage?collId=mtj5&amp;fileName=mtj5page059.db&amp;recNum=271&amp;itemLink=%2Fammem%2Fmtjhtml%2Fmtjser5.html&amp;linkText=6 ''Legal Commonplace Book'', item 828].

*The top 5 countries for mass shootings per capita all have &quot;restrictive&quot; gun policies.
**Kyle Becker, [http://www.ijreview.com/2015/12/348197-paris-attack-claim-mass-shootings/ &quot;If You Look at This Chart of Top 10 Nations in the World for Mass Shootings – One Thing Jumps Out&quot;] (2015), ''IJReview''

* Whatever happens, we have got &lt;br&gt; The Maxim gun, and they have not.
** [[Hilaire Belloc]] ''The Modern Traveller'' (1898).

*&quot;The highest love, a woman's touch / Harmony, a strong mind, a strong body, beauty, all the things / He couldn't be, all / The things he couldn't have. / Little man with a gun in his hand&quot;
**  [[w:D. Boon|D. Boon]], The Minutemen

* Zardoz, speaks to you, his chosen ones. You have been raised up from brutality to kill the brutals that multiply and are legion. To this end, Zardoz, gave you the gift of the gun. '''The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of man, as once it was. But the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill. Zardoz has spoken.'''
** [[Zardoz]] written by John Boorman

*I am Boutros Boutros-Ghali; '''put down your guns and listen to [[Bob Marley]].'''
**[[Boutros Boutros-Ghali]], as quoted in [http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=C5P9J1wCgNM &quot;War&quot;] (28 February 2003), [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0508528/?ref_=ttep_ep2 ''Da Ali G Show''].

*I've got my twin Glock 40s cocked back, me and my homies. So, drop that.
**[[w:Ludacris|Christopher Bridges]], &quot;Rollout&quot; (2001), ''Word of Mouf''

*Oh, you've got a gun? So, you want to pop that?
**[[Snoop Dogg|Calvin Broadus]], &quot;Drop It Like It's Hot&quot; (2004), ''R&amp;G: The Masterpiece'' (2004)

*Wait for your answer; go over there. But, if she pack a gun? You know you'd better run fast!
**[[w:Shaggy (musician)|Orville Richard Burrell]], &quot;It Wasn't Me&quot; (2000), ''Hot Shot''

* After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who ''didn't'' do it. '''I sure as hell wouldn't want to live in a society where the only people allowed guns are the police and the military.'''
** [[William S. Burroughs]], “The War Universe: Interviews with Raymond Foye”, ''Grand Street'' no. 37 (1991), [http://www.jstor.org/stable/25007430?seq=16 p. 107]

===C===
* The firepower wielded by organised crime groups in Mexico has not only led to mounting instability in the US's southern neighbour, but also contributed to lawlessness on the two countries' shared border and the deaths of American agents. As the U.S. invests millions in Mexico's security through the [[w:Mérida Initiative|Merida initiative]], it does itself a disservice by allowing lax gun regulation to arm the same groups it is trying to combat. Poor gun regulation and oversight also threatens the U.S. by providing potential terrorists with easy access to military grade weapons, as was boasted by American-born [[al-Qaida]] member [[w:Adam Yahiye Gadahn|Adam Gadahn]] in a recent video.
** Rodrigo Camarena, [http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/jun/24/gun-control-gabrielle-giffords?INTCMP=SRCH &quot;Time to Target Gun Control&quot;], ''The Guardian'', 24 June 2011.

* The spirit of murder seems to be on the increase in our day. This is partly due to the increase of firearms and to their cheapness, also to the fashion which prevails in many quarters of carrying deadly weapons. The frequency with which shooting is done also has its effect to break down the feeling of sacredness which should surround human life.
** [[George Q. Cannon]], “Obedience — Do not Kill,” ''[https://juvenileinstructor.org/the-spirit-of-murder-seems-to-be-on-the-increase-due-to-the-increase-in-firearms-george-q-cannon-denounces-gun-violence-1891/ Juvenile Instructor]'' 26:14 (July 15, 1891), 443

* I settle my vendettas with AKs, Berettas.
** Von Carlisle, [http://genius.com/D12-40-oz-lyrics &quot;40 Oz.&quot;] (2004), ''D12 World'', Interscope Records

* I've got army guns... Got a gun; never caught without one.
** [[Lil Wayne|Dwayne Carter]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6Yyehm24Mo &quot;Army Gunz&quot;] (2006), ''Like Father, Like Son'' (2006), Cash Money Records

* Brand new pistol, with a trigger like a hair-pin!
** [[Lil Wayne|Dwayne Carter]], [http://genius.com/21366/Lil-wayne-stuntin-like-my-daddy/I-can-stuff-a-coupe-like-a-motherfuckin-caravan &quot;Stuntin' Like My Daddy&quot;] (2006), ''Like Father, Like Son'' (2006), Cash Money Records

* We are not anti-gun: we are anti-bullet holes in our patients. Most upsetting, actually, is death and disability from gun violence that is unparalleled in the world.
** Esther Choo, ''Twitter'', (Nov 8, 2018), as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666762890/after-nra-mocks-doctors-physicians-reply-this-is-our-lane &quot;After NRA Mocks Doctors, Physicians Reply: 'This Is Our Lane'], ''Heard on All Things Considered'', ''NPR'', (November 11, 2018).

* Guns are the Crutches of the Impotent.
** [[Arthur C. Clarke]], ''The Hammer of God,'' in [[w:Gardner Dozois|Gardner Dozois]] (ed.) ''[[w:The Year's Best Science Fiction: Tenth Annual Collection|The Year's Best Science Fiction: Tenth Annual Collection]],'' p. 199 (Originally published in the September 28, 1992 issue of [[w:Time (magazine)|Time]])

* Men who take up arms against the State must expect at any moment to be fired upon. Men who take up arms unlawfully cannot expect that the troops will wait until they are quite ready to begin the conflict.
** [[Winston Churchill]], speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm &quot;Amritsar&quot;] ; at the time, Churchill was serving as [[w:Secretary of State for War|Secretary of State for War]] under Prime Minister [[w:David Lloyd George|David Lloyd George]]

* When they kick out your front door&lt;br&gt;How you gonna come?&lt;br&gt;With your hands on your head&lt;br&gt;Or on the trigger of your gun?&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When the law break in&lt;br&gt;How you gonna go?&lt;br&gt;Shot down on the pavement&lt;br&gt;Or waiting on death row?&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You can crush us&lt;br&gt;You can bruise us&lt;br&gt;But you'll have to answer to&lt;br&gt;Oh, the guns of Brixton.
** The Clash, &quot;[[w:The Guns of Brixton|The Guns of Brixton]]&quot;, from ''[[w:London Calling|London Calling]]'' (1980), lyrics by Paul Simonon

* And I swear that I don't have a gun. No, I don't have a gun. No, I don't have a gun
** [[Kurt Cobain]], &quot;[[w:Come as You Are (Nirvana song)|Come as You Are]]&quot; by [[Nirvana (band)|Nirvana]] from the 1991 album ''[[Nevermind]]''.

* I pull my trigger back; the bullets go. Boom, boom, boom! Now, I'm on death row. Fuck it.
** [[w:RBX|Eric Dwayne Collins]], [http://genius.com/289895 &quot;Lyrical Gangbang&quot;] (1992), ''The Chronic'' (December 1992), Death Row Records.

* Going wild. Every night they shoot; it's like Beirut. Maybe you should get a Kevlar vest for your chest; anytime stepping through my hood. But that'll do you no good. One slug to your face? Don't hate. You're getting smoked, like wood.
** [[w:RBX|Eric Dwayne Collins]], [http://genius.com/289895 &quot;Lyrical Gangbang&quot;] (1992), ''The Chronic'' (December 1992), Death Row Records.

* The good people of this world are very far from being satisfied with each other and my arms are the best peacemakers.
** [[w:Samuel Colt|Samuel Colt]], in a [http://books.google.com/books?id=ygcO6WyqrYkC&amp;pg=PA48&amp;dq=%22good+people+of+this+wirld%22][http://books.google.com/books?id=ZbgSAQAAMAAJ&amp;&amp;dq=%22good+people+of+this+wirld%22 letter to Charles Manby (18 May 1852)]; originally rendered : &quot;The good people of this wirld are very far from being satisfide with each other &amp;amp; my arms are the best peesmakers.&quot;

*It is a cliche that the gun is a penis-symbol as well as a weapon. Gun organizations are conventionally masculine in cultural style; hunting and gun magazines dress their models in check shirts and boots to emphasize their masculinity. The gun lobby hardly has to labour the inference that politicians trying to take away our guns are emasculating us. '''At both symbolic and practical levels, the defense of gun ownership is a defense of hegemonic masculinity.'''
**[[Raewyn Connell]], ''Masculinities''

* The consensus is that no more than five to ten people in a hundred who die by gunfire in Los Angeles are any loss to society. These people fight small wars amongst themselves. It would seem a valid social service to keep them well-supplied with ammunition.
** [[Jeff Cooper]], ''Guns and Ammo'' Magazine, April 1991.

* You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
** [[w:Irwin Corey|&quot;Professor&quot; Irwin Corey]][http://www.brooklyneagle.com/archive/category.php?category_id=27&amp;id=14395][http://www.nycplus.com/nyc39/professorirwin.html]. Often humorously attributed to [[Al Capone]].

* Every black person in America should get a gun and join the National Rifle Association, America's oldest and most august civil rights organization. Apparently this has occurred to no one because our excellent public education system ensures that no American under the age of sixty has the slightest notion of this country's history. Gun control laws were originally promulgated by Democrats to keep guns out of the hands of blacks. This allowed the Democratic policy of slavery to proceed with fewer bumps and, after the Civil War, allowed the Democratic [[Ku Klux Klan]] to menace and murder black Americans with little resistance. Contrary to what illiterates believe, the KKK was an outgrowth of the Democratic Party, with overlapping membership rolls. The Klan was to the Democrats what the American Civil Liberties Union is today. Not every Democrat is an ACLU'er, but every ACLU'er is a Democrat. Same with the Klan. 
**[[w:Ann Coulter|Ann Coulter]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html &quot;Negroes With Guns&quot;] (18 April 2012), by A. Coulter, ''Ann Coulter''.

* In 1640, the very first gun control law ever enacted on these shores was passed in Virginia. It provided that blacks, even freemen, could not own guns. Chief Justice Roger Taney's infamous opinion in ''Dred Scott v. Sandford'' circularly argued that blacks could not be citizens because if they were citizens, they would have the right to own guns: &quot;[I]t would give them the full liberty,&quot; he said, &quot;to keep and carry arms wherever they went.&quot; With logic like that, Republicans eventually had to fight a Civil War to get the Democrats to give up slavery. Alas, they were Democrats, so they cheated. After the war, Democratic legislatures enacted 'Black Codes', denying black Americans the rights of citizenship, such as the rather crucial one of bearing arms, while other Democrats, sometimes the same Democrats, founded the Ku Klux Klan. For more than a hundred years, Republicans have aggressively supported arming blacks, so they could defend themselves against Democrats. The original draft of the Anti-Klan Act of 1871, passed at the urging of Republican president Ulysses S. Grant, made it a federal felony to 'deprive any citizen of the United States of any arms or weapons he may have in his house or possession for the defense of his person, family, or property'. This section was deleted from the final bill only because it was deemed both beyond Congress' authority and superfluous, inasmuch as the rights of citizenship included the right to bear arms. Under authority of the Anti-Klan Act, President Grant deployed the U.S. military to destroy the Klan, and pretty nearly completed the job. But the Klan had a few resurgences in the early and mid-20th century. Curiously, wherever the Klan became a political force, gun control laws would suddenly appear on the books. This will give you an idea of how gun control laws worked. 
**[[w:Ann Coulter|Ann Coulter]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html &quot;Negroes With Guns&quot;] (18 April 2012), by A. Coulter, ''Ann Coulter''.

*Following the firebombing of his house in 1956, Dr. Martin Luther King, who was, among other things, a Christian minister, applied for a gun permit, but the Alabama authorities found him unsuitable. A decade later, he won a Nobel Peace Prize. How's that 'may issue' gun permit policy working for you? The NRA opposed these discretionary gun permit laws and proceeded to grant NRA charters to blacks who sought to defend themselves from Klan violence, including the great civil rights hero Robert F. Williams. A World War II Marine veteran, Williams returned home to Monroe, N.C., to find the Klan riding high, beating, lynching and murdering blacks at will. No one would join the NAACP for fear of Klan reprisals. Williams became president of the local chapter and increased membership from six to more than 200. But it was not until he got a charter from the NRA in 1957 and founded the Black Armed Guard that the Klan got their comeuppance in Monroe. Williams' repeated thwarting of violent Klan attacks is described in his stirring book, ''Negroes With Guns''. In one crucial battle, the Klan seiged the home of a black physician and his wife, but Williams and his Black Armed Guard stood sentry and repelled the larger, cowardly force. And that was the end of it. As the Klan found out, it's not so much fun when the rabbit's got the gun. The NRA's proud history of fighting the Klan has been airbrushed out of the record by those who were complicit with the KKK, Jim Crow and racial terror, to wit, the Democrats.
**[[w:Ann Coulter|Ann Coulter]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html &quot;Negroes With Guns&quot;] (18 April 2012), by A. Coulter, ''Ann Coulter''.

* Gun control is always a scheme of the powerful to deprive the powerless of the right to self-defense.
**[[w:Ann Coulter|Ann Coulter]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html &quot;Negroes With Guns&quot;] (18 April 2012), by A. Coulter, ''Ann Coulter''.

* [[Blood]]y [[war]]! What do you think all these bullets and all these guns're made for?
** [[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhKVyOV8Z48 &quot;Bloody War&quot;] (2005), ''Certified'' (2005)

* I wanted [[peace]], but now my piece is clearing out the block.
** [[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhKVyOV8Z48 &quot;Bloody War&quot;] (2005), ''Certified'' (2005)

* If I've got nine slugs? Nine bullets're going to fly. If I've got a red beam? Nine people're going to die. Nine mothers gone cry; nine spirits in the sky. Nine preachers preaching nine sermons; telling nine lies.
** [[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidbanner/9mm.html &quot;9mm&quot;] (July 2007), ''The Greatest Story Ever Told'' (July 2008)

===D===
* The town in Georgia's got a law on the books / Says if we all got guns then we won't have crooks / Now what could make them think that way?
** [[w:The Dead Milkmen|The Dead Milkmen]], &quot;Right Wing Pigeons&quot;, ''[[w:Big Lizard in My Backyard|Big Lizard in My Backyard]]'' (1985).

* The sun is settin' on the century&lt;br&gt;and we are armed to the teeth&lt;br&gt;we are all working together now&lt;br&gt;to make our lives mercifully brief&lt;br&gt;schoolkids keep trying to teach us&lt;br&gt;what guns are all about&lt;br&gt;confuse liberty with weaponry&lt;br&gt;and watch your kids act it out&lt;br&gt;every year now like Christmas&lt;br&gt;some boy gets the milk-fed suburban blues&lt;br&gt;reaches for the available arsenal&lt;br&gt;and saunters off to make the news.
* And If I hear one more time&lt;br&gt;about fool's rights&lt;br&gt;to his tools of rage&lt;br&gt;I'm gonna take all my friends&lt;br&gt;and I'm gonna move to Canada&lt;br&gt;and we're gonna die of old age.
** [[w:Ani DeFranco|Ani DeFranco]], &quot;To the Teeth&quot;, from ''[[w:To the Teeth|To the Teeth]]'' (1999), lyrics by Ani DeFranco

* To accept the principle that &quot;all power proceeds from the barrel of a gun&quot; is to accept a society which will be dominated by those with the biggest guns.
** [[Tommy Douglas]], speech delivered at Luther College, Regina, Saskatchewan, March 16, 1973.

*A man's rights rest in three boxes. The ballot box, jury box and the cartridge box. Let no man be kept from the ballot box because of his color. Let no woman be kept from the ballot box because of her sex.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://books.google.ca/books?id=zFclDyk2LTEC&amp;pg=PA57#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false speech] (15 November 1867).

* From the first I saw no chance of bettering the condition of the freedman until he should cease to be merely a freedman and should become a citizen. I insisted that there was no safety for him or for anybody else in America outside the American government; that to guard, protect, and maintain his liberty the freedman should have the ballot; that '''the liberties of the American people were dependent upon the ballot-box, the jury-box, and the cartridge-box; that without these no class of people could live and flourish in this country'''; and this was now the word for the hour with me, and the word to which the people of the North willingly listened when I spoke. Hence, regarding as I did the elective franchise as the one great power by which all civil rights are obtained, enjoyed, and maintained under our form of government, and the one without which freedom to any class is delusive if not impossible, I set myself to work with whatever force and energy I possessed to secure this power for the recently-emancipated millions.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://docsouth.unc.edu/neh/dougl92/dougl92.html ''The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass''] (1892), p. 460.

* Will it be a great source of comfort to certain Canadian boys to know that the bullet that maimed them for life was made from Canadian nickel sold by the [[w:Inco|International Nickel Company]]?
** [[Tommy Douglas]] Debate, House of Commons, Ottawa, Ontario, April 3, 1939.

* While nearly anything, including human hands, may be used to kill, '''the gun is created for the specific purpose of killing a living creature'''.&lt;br&gt;Gun-love can be akin to non-chemical addictions like gambling or hoarding, either of which can have devastating effects, mainly economic, but '''murder, suicide, accidental death, and [[Mass shootings in the United States|mass shootings]] result only from guns.'''...&lt;br&gt;Although each of these mass killings is idiosyncratic, they often share many features, including but not limited to the most obvious, which bears repeating – their '''use of guns'''....&lt;br&gt;'''Guns are a sign of potency for many white Americans''' who otherwise feel they have been wrongly disempowered or disenfranchised, whether by the government, by an employer or colleagues, or by members of other social, political or ethnic groups.
** [[w:Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz|Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz]], Professor Emerita of Ethnic Studies at [[w:California State University, Hayward|California State University]] ({{cite news |first=Roxanne |last=Dunbar-Ortiz |authorlink=w:Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz |title=Inside the minds of American mass shooters |date=November 10, 2017 |newspaper=[[w:The Guardian|The Guardian]] |url=https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/10/us-mass-shootings-history}}; {{cite book |year=2018 |first=Roxanne |last=Dunbar-Ortiz |authorlink=w:Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz |title=Loaded: A Disarming History of the Second Amendment |isbn=9780872867246 |publisher=[[w:City Lights Bookstore|City Lights]]}})

===E===
* The most important lesson I learned ... was that the winner of a gunplay usually was the one who took his [[time]]. The second was that, if I hoped to live on the frontier, I would shun flashy trick-shooting—grandstand play—as I would [[poison]] ... In all my life as a frontier peace officer, I did not know a really proficient gunfighter who had anything but [[contempt]] for the gun-fanner, or the man who literally shot from the [[hip]]... 
** [[Wyatt Earp]]; as qtd. in ''Enclyclopedia of Western Gunslingers by Bill O'Neal, University of Oklahoma Press'' (paperback edition), 1991; as qtd. in [http://shotdoc.com/myths.asp &quot;Old West Myths ... And Things Little Known&quot;], ''Shotdoc.com'', (Retrieved February 2, 2014).

* I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
** [[Clint Eastwood]], &quot;RJ Eskow: Confessions of a Gun Lover,&quot; ''Huffington Post'', (18 April 2007).

*Come on, Hector: the MAC-10 submachine gun was practically [[designed]] for ''house''wives.
**Regina Belmont (Catherine Mary Stewart) in ''[[Night of the Comet]]'' (16 November 1984), written and directed by [[Thom Eberhardt]].

* A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders.
** [[Larry Elder]], &quot;Million Mom Madness,&quot; FrontPageMag (22 May 2000).

* Hast thou named all the birds without a gun. Loved the wood-rose, and left it on its stalk.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Forbearance''.

===F===
* If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them... Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in, I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren't here.
** Dianne Feinstein, interview with CBS-TV 60 Minutes (5 February 1995).

* The [[report]] would be &quot;routine retirement of a Replicant&quot;, which didn't make me [[feel]] any better about shooting a [[woman]] in the back. There it was again... feeling in myself... for her... for Rachael.
** Rick Deckard in ''[[Blade Runner]]'' (1982), as interpreted by [[w:Harrison Ford|Harrison Ford]], script by [[w:Hampton Fancher|Hampton Fancher]] &amp; [[w:David Peoples|David Peoples]]

* Not very [[sportsmanship|sporting]] to [[fire]] on an unarmed [[opponent]]. I thought you were supposed to be [[good]]. Aren't you the... &quot;good&quot; [[man]]?
** Roy Batty in ''[[Blade Runner]]'' (1982), as interpreted by [[w:Rutger Hauer|Rutger Hauer]], script by [[w:Hampton Fancher|Hampton Fancher]] &amp; [[w:David Peoples|David Peoples]]

* You gotta shoot straight! Straight doesn't seem good enough!
** Roy Batty in ''[[Blade Runner]]'' (1982), as interpreted by [[w:Rutger Hauer|Rutger Hauer]], script by [[w:Hampton Fancher|Hampton Fancher]] &amp; [[w:David Peoples|David Peoples]]

* Coming out the slums! It's the hoodlums, I'm pulling my gat out on all you bums!
**[[w:B-Real|Louis Freese]], as quoted in the [https://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=N9l23a3setM &quot;I Ain't Goin' Out Like That&quot;] (1993), ''Black Sunday'' (July 1993).

===G===
* Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. If we want the Arms Act to be repealed, if we want to learn the use of arms, here is a golden opportunity. If the middle classes render voluntary help to Government in the hour of its trial, distrust will disappear, and the ban on possessing arms will be withdrawn.
** [[Mahatma Gandhi]], [[s:The_Story_of_My_Experiments_with_Truth/Part_V/Recruiting_Campaign|&quot;An Autobiography OR The story of my experiments with truth&quot;, Chapter 27, Recruiting Campaign]], from a leaflet urging Indians to serve with the British Army in World War II.

* Guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.
** [[Hermann Göring]], radio broadcast (1936), as quoted in ''The New Language of Politics: An Anecdotal Dictionary of Catchwords, Slogans, and Political Usage'' (1968) by William L. Safire, p. 178

* The ease with which birds and beasts, men, women and children, can now be shot into sudden oblivion is breathtaking. If the murderer had nothing but his hands, he could kill only a few on a single outing, if lucky. But a victim might fight back, and win. What a limitation, a frustration, for the poor murderer. But with a Kalashnikov – joy! – all such frustration vanishes. In a few seconds dozens of human beings can be left twitching and bleeding on the ground, their possibilities, hopes, loves and endeavours abruptly and arbitrarily obliterated, their families drowned in shock and grief. How satisfying for the murderous of mind; how fulfilling; and all thanks to those who make and sell guns.
** [[A. C. Grayling]], ''Life, Sex, and Ideas: The Good Life Without God'' (2002), {{ISBN|0-19-517755-X}}, Chapter 32, &quot;Guns&quot;

* But if someone has a gun and is trying to kill you... it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun.
** [[Tenzin Gyatso]], 14th Dalai Lama, as quoted in &quot;Dalai Lama urges students to shape world,&quot; in ''The Seattle Times'' (14 May 2001)

===H===
* The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed.
** [[Alexander Hamilton]], ''Federalist No. 46''.

* It's not gun registration that produces gun confiscation and genocide; it's people who do.
**[[w:Bernard Harcourt|Bernard Harcourt]], &quot;[http://ir.lawnet.fordham.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4029&amp;context=flr On Gun Registration, the NRA, Adolf Hitler and Nazi Gun Laws: Exploding the Gun Culture Wars (A Call to Historians)]&quot;, 73 [[w:Fordham Law Review|Fordham Law Rev.]] 653, 660 (2004)

* ... [I]f forced to take a position, it seems that the Nazis were more pro-gun than the predecessor Weimar Republic.
** Harcourt, at 671.

* This Glock I clutch; in God I trust.
** [[T.I.|Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr.]], &quot;Top Back&quot; (2006), ''King''

* If gun laws in fact worked, the sponsors of this type of legislation should have no difficulty drawing upon long lists of examples of crime rates reduced by such legislation.  That they cannot do so after a century and a half of trying — that they must sweep under the rug the southern attempts at gun control in the 1870-1910 period, the northeastern attempts in the 1920-1939 period, the attempts at both Federal and State levels in 1965-1976 — establishes the repeated, complete and inevitable failure of gun laws to control serious crime.
** [[Orrin Hatch]], &quot;The Right to Keep and Bear Arms&quot;.

* Strapped up, ready to roll.
** [[w:Boosie Badazz|Torrance Hatch]], as quoted in [https://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=P8U206DGUBw#Lil_Boosie_-_We_Out_Chea_(Official_Video) &quot;We Out Chea&quot;] (2009).

* Ain't hard to find, I'm in the street. Pocket monster in the club, [[wiktionary:murk|murk]] your ass instantly!
** [[w:Boosie Badazz|Torrance Hatch]], as quoted in [https://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=P8U206DGUBw#Lil_Boosie_-_We_Out_Chea_(Official_Video) &quot;We Out Chea&quot;] (2009).

* Well, in the first place '''an armed society is a polite society.''' Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. For me, politeness is a ''sine qua non'' of civilization. That's a personal evaluation only. But gunfighting has a strong biological use. We do not have enough things to kill off the weak and the stupid these days. But to stay alive as an armed citizen a man has to be either quick with his wits or with his hands, preferably both. It's a good thing.
** [[Robert Heinlein]], ''Beyond This Horizon'' (1942).

* Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense?
** Patrick Henry (J. Elliot, Debates in the Several State Conventions 45, 2d ed. Philadelphia, 1836).

* It's easy to dispense with the first claim Obama made, that ''{{'}}this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries{{'}}''... Obama is wrong to say that ''{{'}}this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries{{'}}''. Clearly '''it does happen elsewhere, and not in trivial numbers'''. Seven of the countries saw double-digit numbers of people killed in mass shootings during that period.
** Keely Herring and Louis Jacobson, [http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/jun/22/barack-obama/barack-obama-correct-mass-killings-dont-happen-oth/ &quot;Is Barack Obama correct that mass killings don't happen in other countries?&quot;] (22 June 2015), ''Politifact''.

* Let me make a short, opening, blanket comment. There are no good guns. There are no bad guns. Any gun in the hands of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody — except bad people...
** [[Charlton Heston]], on NBC's ''Meet the Press'', May 18, 1997.

* England, where no one has guns; fourteen deaths. United States — and I think you know how we feel about guns; whoo! I'm getting' a stiffy — 23,000 deaths from handguns. But there's no connection, and you'd be a fool and a communist to make one.
** [[Bill Hicks]], Quoted in ''Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines'', 2004.

* '''The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the subject races to possess arms.'''&amp;nbsp; History shows that all conquerors who have allowed their subject races to carry arms have prepared their own downfall by so doing.
** [[Adolf Hitler]], dinner talk (April 1942), as quoted in [http://www.archive.org/stream/HitlersTableTalk#page/n429/mode/2up/search/foolish+mistake ''Hitler's Table Talk 1941-44: His Private Conversations''], pp. 425-426.

* GUN CONTROL! That is what the Branch Davidian compound attack was all about. David Koresh was a gun collector and a tax evader. Boy, they didn't like him, and one of the purposes for that raid was to scare the American people into submission. You better register your firearms. Make sure they know. They might come for you as they did for Koresh.
** [[Kent Hovind]], &quot;Unmasking the False Religion of Evolution Chapter 4&quot; (1996).

* The right of citizens to bear arms is just one more guarantee against arbitrary government, one more safeguard against the tyranny which now appears remote in America, but which historically has proved to be always possible.
** [[Hubert Humphrey]], “Know Your Lawmakers”, ''Guns'' magazine, February 1960, pg. 4.

===I===
* You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
** &quot;Blondie&quot; in ''[[The Good, the Bad and the Ugly]]'' (1966) by  [[w:Agenore Incrocci|Agenore Incrocci]], [[w:Furio Scarpelli|Furio Scarpelli]], [[w:Luciano Vincenzoni|Luciano Vincenzoni]], and [[w:Sergio Leone|Sergio Leone]].

===J===
*Every night I talk to God, but he doesn't say nothing back. I know he's protecting me, but I still stay with my gat.
**[[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]], [http://genius.com/564862 &quot;Many Men&quot;] (2003), ''Get Rich or Die Tryin{{'}}''

*When that window rolls down and that [[w:AK-47|A.K.]] comes out? You can squeeze your little handgun, until you run out... God's on your side? Shit, I'm alright with that. Because we're going to reload the clips and come right back.
**[[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]], [http://genius.com/50-cent-heat-lyrics/ &quot;Heat&quot;] (2003), ''Get Rich or Die Tryin''' (2003), by C.J. Jackson III.

*Gangsters use sign language, and let their guns talk... Fuck with my [[Money|dough]]? Then, the guns come out!
**[[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]], [http://genius.com/401133 &quot;Gunz Come Out&quot;] (2005), ''The Massacre''.

*When I'm called on, I've got a sawed-off. Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off!
**[[w:Ice Cube|O'Shea Jackson]], &quot;Straight Outta Compton&quot; (1988), ''Straight Outta Compton'' (1988).

* No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms within his own lands.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/jeffcons.asp Draft Constitution for Virginia (June 1776)] This quote often appears with the parenthetical omitted and with the spurious extension, &quot;The strongest reason for the people to retain their right to keep and bear arms is as a last resort to protect themselves against tyranny in government&quot;. (See [http://www.monticello.org/site/jefferson/no-freeman-shall-be-debarred-use-arms-quotation Jefferson Encyclopedia]).

* A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be the constant companion of your walks.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://www.constitution.org/2ll/2ndschol/19adec.pdf WRITINGS OF THOMAS JEFFERSON 341 (Andrew A. Lipscomb ed., 1903)]. Letter to his nephew.

* One loves to possess arms, though they hope never to have occasion for them.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to [[George Washington]], 1796. (The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, Lipscomb and Bergh, editors, 20 Vols., Washington, D.C., 1903-04, 9:341.

* The constitutions of most of our States assert, that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves, ...  or they may act by representatives, freely and equally chosen; '''that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed'''; that they are entitled to freedom of person, freedom of religion, freedom of property, and freedom of the press.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], Letter to Major John Cartwright (5 June 1824)[http://books.google.com/books?id=B6pGAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA395&amp;dq=%22The+constitutions+of+most+of+our+States%22].

===K===
* By... '''our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim; by allowing our movie and television screens to teach our children that the hero is one who masters the art of shooting and the technique of killing'''; by allowing all of these developments, we have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], November 1963. Quoted in ''I have a Dream: the Life and Times of Martin Luther King, Jr.'' by Lenwood G. Davis, 1973. (p.266).

*Little kids with guns, only fifteen. Roaming the streets, up to no good. When gunshots? Just watch us, run quickly. I could show you where.
**Sean Kingston, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChBHD9WwIqU &quot;Take You There&quot;] (2007)

* God created men. Colonel Colt made them equal.
** Old frontier saying
** [https://www.google.com/search?q=%22God+created+men.+Colonel+Colt+made+them+equal%22&amp;hl=en&amp;safe=off&amp;biw=1231&amp;bih=803&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=khbiUNr7DoPL0QGe24DICA&amp;ved=0CCoQpwUoBA&amp;source=lnt&amp;tbs=cdr%3A1%2Ccd_min%3A1%2F1%2F1951%2Ccd_max%3A12%2F31%2F1979&amp;tbm=bks Quoted in] Larry Koller, ''The Fireside Book of Guns'', 1959, page 136

*The majority falls prey to the delusion, popular in some circles, that ordinary people are too careless and stupid to own guns, and we would be far better off leaving all weapons in the hands of professionals on the government payroll. But the simple truth, born of experience, is that tyranny thrives best where government need not fear the wrath of an armed people... A revolt by Nat Turner and a few dozen other armed blacks could be put down without much difficulty; one by four million armed blacks would have meant big trouble. All too many of the other great tragedies of history, Stalin's atrocities, the killing fields of Cambodia, the Holocaust, to name but a few, were perpetrated by armed troops against unarmed populations. Many could well have been avoided or mitigated, had the perpetrators known their intended victims were equipped with a rifle and twenty bullets apiece, as the Militia Act required here. ... If a few hundred Jewish fighters in the Warsaw Ghetto could hold off the Wehrmacht for almost a month with only a handful of weapons, six million Jews armed with rifles could not so easily have been herded into cattle cars.
** [[w:Alex Kozinski|Alex Kozinski]], Circuit Judge, [http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-9th-circuit/1464183.html#search=%22ninth%20circuit%20%22second%20amendment%22%22 dissenting from denial of rehearing en banc in] ''[[w:Silveira v. Lockyer|Silveira v. Lockyer]]''.

* Gun safety laws, there are a few inconvenient facts... Liberals are sometimes glib about equating guns and danger. In fact, it's complicated. The number of guns in America has increased by more than 50 percent since 1993, and in that same period the gun homicide rate in the United States has dropped by half... The assault weapons ban. A 113-page study found no clear indication that it reduced shooting deaths for the 10 years it was in effect. That's because the ban was poorly drafted and because even before the ban, assault weapons accounted for only 2 percent of guns used in crimes. Move on to open-carry and conceal-carry laws. With some 13 million Americans now licensed to pack a concealed gun, many liberals expected gun battles to be erupting all around us. In fact, the most rigorous analysis suggests that all these gun permits caused neither a drop in crime, as conservatives had predicted, nor a spike in killings, as liberals had expected... The fears were overblown... Liberals often inadvertently antagonize gun owners and empower the National Rifle Association by coming across as supercilious, condescending and spectacularly uninformed about the guns they propose to regulate. A classic of gun ignorance. New York passed a law three years ago banning gun magazines holding more than seven cartridges; without realizing that for most guns there is no such thing as a magazine for seven cartridges or less... If lawmakers want to pass gun legislation, they'd best learn about firearms first.
** Nick Kristof, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/opinion/sunday/some-inconvenient-gun-facts-for-liberals.html?_r=0 &quot;Some Inconvenient Gun Facts For Liberals&quot;] (16 January 2016), ''The New York Times''.

===L===
* '''Nowadays you don't go around on the street kicking [[people]], punching people — because if you do (makes [[gun]] shape with hand), ''well that's it'' — I don't care how [[good]] you are.'''
** [[Bruce Lee]], ''Bruce Lee'' interview on ''[[w:The Pierre Berton Show|The Pierre Berton Show]]'' (1971)

* To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.
** [[Richard Henry Lee]], Letters from the Federal Farmer to the Republic, [http://www.constitution.org/afp/fedfar18.htm Letter XVIII] (25 January 1778).

* Armed men don't sit down and talk.
** [[Ursula K. Le Guin]], ''[[w:The Eye of the Heron|The Eye of the Heron]]'' (1978), Chapter 8

* And the rest, all the rest. All the days and lights and winds and years that would have been, and that would not be, that should be and were not, because he was dead. Shot dead on the road, in the wind, at twenty-one. His mountains unclimbed, never to be climbed.
** [[Ursula K. Le Guin]], ''[[w:The Eye of the Heron|The Eye of the Heron]]'' (1978), Chapter 10

* Happiness is a warm gun.
** [[John Lennon]], ''[[w:The Beatles (album)|The Beatles]]'', a.k.a. ''&quot;The White Album&quot;'' (1968). In a 1970 interview for ''Rolling Stone'' Lennon attributed the words to the cover of a gun magazine ([[w:Jann S. Wenner|Jann S. Wenner]], ''Lennon Remembers'' (2000)).

* [[Hands]] and arms can be the fastest-moving [[body]] parts. For example, an average suspect can move his hand and forearm across his body to a 90-degree angle in 12/100 of a second. He can move his hand from his [[hip]] to [[shoulder]] height in 18/100 of a [[second]]. The average [[Police|officer]] pulling the trigger as fast as he can on a [[Glock]], one of the fastest- cycling semi-autos, requires 1/4 second to discharge each round. There is no way an officer can react, track, shoot and reliably hit a threatening suspect's forearm or a [[weapon]] in a suspect's hand in the time spans involved.
** Bill Lewinski, [https://www.policeone.com/patrol-issues/articles/2071009-Why-shooting-to-wound-doesnt-make-sense-scientifically-legally-or-tactically/ &quot;Why shooting to wound doesn’t make sense scientifically, legally, or tactically&quot;], ''Policeone.com'', (May 26, 2010).

* The upper [[arms]] move more slowly than the lower arms and hands. But shooting at the upper arms, there's a greater chance you're going to hit the suspect's [[w:Brachial artery|brachial artery]] or center mass, areas with a high [[probability]] of [[fatality]]. So where does shooting only to wound come in when even areas considered by some to ‘safe’ from fatality risk could in fact carry the same level of risk as targeting center mass? &lt;br&gt; “[[Legs]] tend initially to move slower than arms and to maintain more static positions. However, areas of the lower trunk and upper thigh are rich with vascularity. A suspect who’s hit there can bleed out in seconds if one of the major arteries is severed, so again shooting just to wound may not result in just wounding.
** Bill Lewinski, [https://www.policeone.com/patrol-issues/articles/2071009-Why-shooting-to-wound-doesnt-make-sense-scientifically-legally-or-tactically/ &quot;Why shooting to wound doesn’t make sense scientifically, legally, or tactically&quot;], ''Policeone.com'', (May 26, 2010).

* In reference to you, colored people, let me say God has made you free. '''Although you have been deprived of your God-given rights by your so-called 'masters', you are now as free as I am, and if those that claim to be your &quot;superiors&quot; do not know that you are free, take the sword and bayonet and teach them that you are; for God created all men free''', giving to each the same rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], speech to freed slaves in Richmond, Virginia (4 April 1865), as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20130517052731/http://mrlincolnandfreedom.org/inside.asp?ID=84&amp;subjectID=3 ''Recollected Words of Abraham Lincoln''] (1996), by Don Edward Fehrenbacher and Virginia Fehrenbacher, editor, p. 257.

* I think these things ( firearms ) were invented by Satan himself, for they can't be defended against with (ordinary) weapons and fists. '''All human strength vanishes when confronted with firearms.''' A man is dead before he sees what's coming.
** [[Martin Luther]], ''Table Talk'' (1569), 3552.

* Mr. Saturday night special&lt;br&gt;Got a barrel that's blue and cold.&lt;br&gt;Ain't good for nothin'&lt;br&gt;But put a man six feet in a hole.
* Handguns are made for killin'&lt;br&gt;They ain't no good for nothin' else&lt;br&gt;And if you like to drink your whiskey&lt;br&gt;You might even shoot yourself&lt;br&gt;So why don't we dump 'em people&lt;br&gt;To the bottom of the sea&lt;br&gt;Before some ol' fool come around here&lt;br&gt;Wanna shoot either you or me
** [[Lynyrd Skynyrd]], &quot;[[w:Saturday Night Special (Lynyrd Skynyrd song)|Saturday Night Special]]&quot;. from ''[[w:Nuthin' Fancy|Nuthin' Fancy]]'' (1975), written by Ed King &amp; Ronnie Van Zant

===M===
* Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate Governments, to which the people are attached, and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple Government of any form can admit of. Notwithstanding the military establishments in the several kingdoms of Europe, which are carried as far as the public resources will bear, the Governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.
** [[James Madison]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=qekJAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA265&amp;dq=%22Besides+the+advantage+of+being+armed%22 Federalist No. 46] (1788).
** Sometimes paraphrased as: “Americans have the right and advantage of being armed, unlike the people of other countries, whose leaders are afraid to trust them with arms.”

* Fackler [10, 13] however, disputed the shock wave hypothesis, claiming there is no physical evidence to support it, although some support for this hypothesis had already been provided by Harvey [20, 21], Kolsky [31], Suneson et. al. [42, 43], and Crucq [5]. Since that time, other authors suggest there is increasing evidence to support the hypothesis that shock waves from high velocity bullets can cause tissue related damage and damage to the nervous system. This has been shown in various experiments using simulant models [24, 48]. One of the most interesting is a study by Courtney and Courtney [4] who showed a link between traumatic brain injury and pressure waves originating in the thoracic cavity and extremities.
** Nick Maiden, ''Historical Overview of Wound Ballistics Research'', ''Forensic Sci Med Pathol'' (2009) 5:85–89 

* Every communist must grasp the truth, &quot;'''Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.'''&quot; Our principle is that the Party commands the gun, and the gun must never be allowed to command the Party. Yet, having guns, we can create Party organizations, as witness the powerful Party organizations which the Eighth Route Army has created in northern China. We can also create cadres, create schools, create culture, create mass movements. Everything in Yenan has been created by having guns. All things grow out of the barrel of a gun.
** [[Mao Zedong]], &quot;[http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/mao/selected-works/volume-2/mswv2_12.htm Problems of War and Strategy]&quot;, 1938.

* The guns of the Russian Communist Party created socialism. We shall create a democratic republic. Experience in the class struggle in the era of imperialism teaches us that it is only by the power of the gun that the working class and the labouring masses can defeat the armed bourgeoisie and landlords; in this sense we may say that only with guns can the whole world be transformed. We are advocates of the abolition of war, we do not want war; but war can only be abolished through war, and '''in order to get rid of the gun it is necessary to take up the gun'''.
** [[Mao Zedong]], &quot;[http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/mao/selected-works/volume-2/mswv2_12.htm Problems of War and Strategy]&quot;, 1938.

* Forty years ago, when the resolution of enslaving America was formed in Great Britain, the British Parliament was advised by an artful man, who was governor of Pennsylvania, to disarm the people; that it was the best and most effectual was to enslave them; but that they should not do it openly, but weaken them, and let them sink gradually, by totally disusing and neglecting the militia.
** [[George Mason]], June 14, 1788, ''The Debates in the Several State Conventions on the Adooption of the Federal Constitution'', 2nd ed. (1861), Jonathan Elliot, v. 3, [http://books.google.com/books?id=2i4MAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA380&amp;dq=%22Forty+years+ago%22 p. 380].  (The &quot;artful man&quot; in the quote is Sir William Keith.)  This quote has typically been rephrased by gun control opponents; for instance, &quot;To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them.&quot;

*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey Freeman]]''': I'll check the [[Old Testament|old testament]], but I'm pretty sure [[Moses]] wasn't packin' heat.
** [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[w:The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (6/12/2000).

*'''Huey''': It's not the guns that bother me. I believe in the [[w:Right to bear and keep arms|right to bear arms]] – 
:'''Caesar''': Right… 
:'''Huey''': It’s the frightening ideologies behind the guns that [[worry]] me. I say, let’s keep the guns … 
:'''Caesar''': True… 
:'''Huey''': And let’s ban the [[conservative]], [[imperialist]], [[capitalist]] oppressors who make the [[world]] such a [[violent]] place!  &lt;br&gt; Think about it! We get rid of them, and we don’t '''need''' the guns anymore!! 
:'''Caesar''': You think they say the same thing about us? 
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'',(6/14/2000)

*'''Huey''': [E]veryone is [[worried]] about [[kids]] and [[violence]], right? And kids using guns – so why don't they go after the gun manufacturers and gun dealers instead of people who make [[video games]], it doesn't make sense. 
:'''Riley''': Sure it does, pretend your some stupid parents activist person… &lt;br&gt; Who would you rather start a beef with – some [[nerd]] who makes video games, or some dude with a warehouse full of [[AK-47]]s? 
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'' (11/19/2000)

* Control criminals not guns; criminals by definition are lawbreakers and will not alter their behavior in deference to a law. Enacting gun laws to control criminals makes as much sense as trying to require rapist to wear condoms.
**[[w:Gary McLeod|Gary McLeod]], as quoted in [http://www.garymcleod.org/ ''Gary McLeod for U.S. Congress''].

* I'm going to get my gun! This motherfucker wants to [[Respect|disrespect]] me? I've got something for his ass.
**[[Eminem|Marshall Bruce Mathers III]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkAcAg7RzR0 &quot;Get My Gun&quot;] (2004), ''D12 World'' (2004).

* One shot, two shot, three shots, four shots! All I hear is gunshots, this is where the fun stops. Bodies drop; hit the floor. Music's off; party stops. Everybody, hit the door! Somebody's licking shots off!
** [[Eminem|Marshall Bruce Mathers III]], [http://genius.com/Eminem-one-shot-2-shot-lyrics &quot;One Shot, 2 Shot&quot;] (2004), ''Encore'' (2004), by M.B. Mathers III.

* I was attorney general; my name is Meese. '''I say, go to college. Don't carry a piece.'''
** [[Edwin Meese]], as quoted in [http://imdb.com/title/tt0508520/quotes?qt=qt1867438 &quot;Law&quot;] (21 February 2003), ''Da Ali G. Show''.

* The only good [[bureaucrat]] is one with a pistol at his [[head]]. Put it in his [[hand]] and it's goodbye to the [[Bill of Rights]].
** [[H.L. Mencken]], &quot;A Time to be Wary&quot; (1933), collected in ''A Carnival of Buncombe''.

* Do you have any idea how many bullets I pull out of corpses weekly? This isn't just my lane. It's my f****** highway.
** Judy Melinek, ''Twitter'', (9 Nov, 2018); as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666762890/after-nra-mocks-doctors-physicians-reply-this-is-our-lane &quot;After NRA Mocks Doctors, Physicians Reply: 'This Is Our Lane'], ''Heard on All Things Considered'', ''NPR'', (November 11, 2018).

* Gun control has always been racist and discriminatory. The ultimate objective of gun control is to control an unarmed people by an armed oppressor.
**[[w:Geoff Metcalf|Geoff Metcalf]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20020822214923/http://www.keepandbeararms.com/information/XcIBViewItem.asp?ID=581 &quot;Racist gun control&quot;] (4 October 1999), ''Keep and Bear Arms''.

* Could you really feel the hand of destiny while pointing a Glock?
** [[China Miéville]], ''[[w:Kraken (Novel)|Kraken]]'' (2010), {{ISBN|978-0-345-49749-9}}, Chapter 62 (p. 385)

* There's something [[demeaning]] about the first time you're knocked to the ground and punched in the [[stomach]] and have a gun waved in your [[face]] and realize that you're completely at somebody's [[mercy]]. And they can take your [[life]]. And at that point, you'll do anything. There's something so [[humiliating]] about that.
** [[Frank Miller]] in [https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/a-rare-interview-frank-miller-871654 “A Rare Interview With Frank Miller: 'Dark Knight,' the Unmade Darren Aronofsky Batman Movie, and Donald Trump“] by Borys Kit, ''Hollywood Reporter'', (3 March 2016)

* No freedman, Negro, or Mulatto shall carry or keep firearms or ammunition.
** Mississippi Black Code (1865)

* I can't even think about this movie. I don't WANT to think about it because if I think about it '''I will have to face an ugly truth that has been gnawing through my head...'''&lt;br&gt; This started out as a documentary on [[gun]] [[violence]] in [[America]], but the largest mass murder in our history was just committed — without the use of a single gun! Not a single bullet fired! '''No bomb was set off, no missile was fired, no weapon (i.e., a device that was solely and specifically manufactured to kill humans) was used. A boxcutter! — I can't stop thinking about this. A thousand [[gun control]] [[laws]] would not have prevented this massacre.''' What am I doing?
** [[Michael Moore]], {{cite web
|title=Tears Down the West Side Highway
|work=MichaelMoore.com
|date=22 September 2001
|url=http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/mikes-letter/tears-down-the-west-side-highway}}

* I would like to graciously extend the invitation to the author of this tweet and anyone else from the NRA to join me at the hospital the next time I care for a child who has been hurt or killed by a gun that wasn't safely stored or was an innocent bystander.
** Jeannie Moorjani, ''Twitter'', (Nov 8, 2018); as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666762890/after-nra-mocks-doctors-physicians-reply-this-is-our-lane &quot;After NRA Mocks Doctors, Physicians Reply: 'This Is Our Lane'], ''Heard on All Things Considered'', ''NPR'', (November 11, 2018).

* Our votes must go together with our guns. After all, any vote we shall have, shall have been the product of the gun. The gun which produces the vote should remain its security officer &amp;ndash; its guarantor. The people's votes and the people's guns are always inseparable twins.
**[[Robert Mugabe]], as quoted by Martin Meredith in &quot;Our Votes, Our Guns: Robert Mugabe and the Tragedy of Zimbabwe&quot;
** Said in 1976 while a leading commander of the Zimbabwe African National Liberation Army

* As long as I have a pen in my hand and a revolver in my pocket, I fear no one.
** [[Benito Mussolini]], 1914. Quoted in Paolo Monelli, ''Mussolini:the intimate life of a demagogue'', Vanguard Press, 1954.

===N===
* Creating new federal or state gun laws based on [[mental illness]] could have the effect of creating more barriers to people being willing to seek treatment and help when they need it most. Solutions to [[w:Gun violence|gun violence]] associated with mental illness lie in improving access to treatment, not in preventing people from seeking treatment in the first place.
** ''[[w:National Alliance on Mental Illness|National Alliance on Mental Illness]]'', [https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-public-policy/violence-and-gun-reporting-laws “Violence and Gun Reporting Laws”]

* It is not generally recognized that when a high velocity missile strikes the body and moves through soft tissues, pressures develop which are measured in thousands of atmospheres. Actually, three different types of pressure change appear: (1) shock wave pressures or sharp, high pressure pulses, formed when the missile hits the body surface; (2) very high pressure regions immediately in front and to each side of the moving missile; (3) relatively slow, low pressure changes connected with the behavior of the large explosive temporary cavity, formed behind the missile. Such pressure changes appear to be responsible for what is known to hunters as hydraulic shock—a hydraulic transmission of energy which is believed to cause instant death of animals hit by high velocity bullets.
** E. Harvey Newton, Howard McMillen; '' An Experimental Study of shock waves resulting from the impact of high velocity missiles on animal tissues'', ''Journal of Experimental Medicine'', February 1947.

* A gun is not just a bit of metal. There is a relationship between the person and the gun which develops and changes. It became something he (Hamilton) could show off, then an extension of himself.
** [[w:Mick North|Mick North]], interviewed by [[w:Ed Vulliamy|Ed Vullimay]], ''The Guardian'', pg. T2, (8 August 1996). North's daughter Sophie was killed in the [[w:Dunblane school massacre|Dunblane school massacre]] by Thomas Hamilton.

* There's one thing for sure; you can't kill sixteen children in less than two minutes with a club, a knife or even a machete.
** [[w:Mick North|Mick North]], interviewed by [[w:Ed Vulliamy|Ed Vullimay]], ''The Guardian'', pg. T2.

* I mean I'm a gun-owning [[pacifist]], so there you go.
** [[Krist Novoselic]], interviewed by [[Nick Gillespie]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4TPRH2uK9w Nirvana's Krist Novoselic on Punk, Politics, &amp; Why He Dumped the Dems]&quot;, ''ReasonTV'' (19 June 2014), 11:30–12:03.

* I own guns.&amp;nbsp; I think they're a good [[tool]] to have out in the [[country]], and I should be able to [[protect]] my [[home]] and my [[family]].
** [[Krist Novoselic]], interviewed by [[Nick Gillespie]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4TPRH2uK9w Nirvana's Krist Novoselic on Punk, Politics, &amp; Why He Dumped the Dems]&quot;, ''ReasonTV'' (19 June 2014), 51:46–51:54.

* I ''like'' my guns.&amp;nbsp; Yeah, because it just makes me more [[comfortable]].
** [[Krist Novoselic]], interviewed by [[Nick Gillespie]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4TPRH2uK9w Nirvana's Krist Novoselic on Punk, Politics, &amp; Why He Dumped the Dems]&quot;, ''ReasonTV'' (19 June 2014), 53:36–53:39.

* Someone should tell self-important anti-gun [[doctors]] to stay in their lane. Half of the articles in ''Annals of Internal Medicine'' are pushing for gun control. Most upsetting, however, the medical community seems to have consulted NO ONE but themselves.
** ''NRA'', ''Twitter'', (Nov, 7, 2018); as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666762890/after-nra-mocks-doctors-physicians-reply-this-is-our-lane &quot;After NRA Mocks Doctors, Physicians Reply: 'This Is Our Lane'], ''Heard on All Things Considered'', ''NPR'', (November 11, 2018).

* And in my mind, I'm going, 'why can't I just shoot this guy in the spine right now? Shoot him in the spine, explain the facts of life to him?'
** [[w:Ted Nugent|Ted Nugent]], as guest [[Disc jockey|DJ]] on WRIF-FM, Detroit, (28 September 1990); referring to an encounter with a Hare Krishna.

* If it was up to me, if you uttered the word 'gun control,' we'd put you in jail.
** [[w:Ted Nugent|Ted Nugent]], as quoted in [http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/01/us-nra-convention-idUSTRE7402SL20110501 speech at the 2011 NRA Convention].

===O===
* There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?
** [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399295/quotes?qt0403284 Arms dealer Yuri Orlov (played by Nicolas Cage)], ''[[Lord of War]]'', 2005.

===P===
* The supposed quietude of a good man allures the ruffian; while on the other hand, arms like laws discourage and keep the invader and the plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. The balance of power is the scale of peace. The same balance would be preserved were all the world destitute of arms, for all would be alike; but since some will not, others dare not lay them aside. And while a single nation refuses to lay them down, it is proper that all should keep them up. Horrid mischief would ensue were one half the world deprived of the use of them; for while avarice and ambition have a place in the heart of man, the weak will become a prey to the strong.
** [[Thomas Paine]], as quoted in &quot;[http://books.google.com/books?id=DTsPAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA56&amp;dq=%22The+balance+of+power%22 Thoughts on Defensive War]&quot; (July 1775). Written anonymously but attributed to Paine.

* It is the privilege of every citizen, and one of his most essential rights, to bear arms, and to resist every attack upon his liberty or property, by whomsoever made. The particular states, like private citizens, have a right to be armed, and to defend, by force of arms, their rights, when invaded.
** Debates in the House of Representatives, ed. Linda Grand De Pauw. (Balt., Johns Hopkins Univ. Press, 1972), 92-3.

*&lt;p&gt;Got a gun fact I got two&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That's O.K. man 'cause I love god&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Glorified version of a pellet gun&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Feels so manly when armed&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Pearl Jam]], &quot;[[w:Glorified G|Glorified G]]&quot;, from the album ''[[w:Vs.|Vs.]]'' (1993), lyrics by Eddie Vedder 

*&lt;p&gt;The sense of impending conflict means business is picking up at the capital's 43 gun shops, even though they are only licensed to sell hunting guns or pistols. Customers are stockpiling bullets or shotgun cartridges, says Wiham Ghazi of the &quot;Free Bird&quot; gun shop, whose 12-gauge shotguns and .22 caliber rifles hang from gun racks on the wall of his shop, emanating a faint scent of gun oil. '''&quot;It's our culture that people keep guns in their houses - it's inherited from our grandfathers,&quot; says Mr. Ghazi, sorting through an array of pistol bullets. Among the ammunition selection is a 12.7mm bullet for a heavy machine gun, with the red-painted tip of a tracer that burns bright as it flies.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&quot;People are buying these kinds of guns just to protect themselves, in case of conflict,&quot; Ghazi says, adding that one customer Saturday morning came in looking for bullets for his father's .45 caliber pistol, which had been &quot;put aside for years.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;To explain their bond with weapons, Iraqis are fond of the modernized version of one traditional saying: &quot;Give everything to your friend, except your car, your wife, and your gun.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:Scott Peterson|Scott Peterson]], [http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/0310/p01s03-woiq.html &quot;Iraqi public well-armed and wary&quot;], ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (10 March 2003).

* The more people know that members of [[LGBT|our community]] may be armed, the less likely they will be to single us out for attack.
** [[w:Pink Pistols|Pink Pistols]], ''[http://www.pinkpistols.org/ Pinkpistols.org]'', (2000)

* I'm in the mood to strut. My [[w:AK-47|A.K.]] ain't even tucked!
** [[w:Kon Artis|Denaun Porter]], [http://genius.com/Eminem-one-shot-2-shot-lyrics &quot;One Shot, 2 Shot&quot;] (2004), ''Encore'' (2004), by M.B. Mathers III.

===R===
* There's no reason why on the street today a citizen should be carrying loaded weapons.
**[[Ronald Reagan]], [https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2202&amp;dat=19670503&amp;id=ClcmAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=ZP8FAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=1072,5010951&amp;hl=en &quot;California Legislature Stunned By Invasion Of Armed 'Black Panthers'&quot;], Gettysburg Times. (3 May 1967)

* How many [[alcohol]] related [[deaths]] a year? 100,000? That's, what, 270 a day? [[Tragedy]]. How many firearms related deaths a year? 11,000? That comes out to a measly 30 a day!
** [[w:Jason Reitman|Jason Reitman]], ''[[w:Thank You for Smoking (film)|Thank You for Smoking]]'', (2006), based on the novel by [[w:Christopher Buckley|Christopher Buckley]].

* For those who [[question]] whether anything will ever be done to curb the use of [[military]] grade [[weaponry]] for [[w:Mass shootings in the United States|mass shootings in the United States]], [[history]] provides some [[w:Good news|good news]]—and some bad. The good news is that there is, within the recent past, an example of a [[President of the United States|president]]—namely [[Bill Clinton]]—who successfully wielded the powers of the [[w:White House|White House]] to institute a partial ban of [[assault weapons]] from the [[nation]]’s [[streets]]. The [[w:Bad news|bad news]], however, is that Clinton’s [[victory]] proved to be so [[costly]] to him and to his party that it stands as an enduring [[w:Cautionary tale|cautionary tale]] in [[w:Washington, D.C.|Washington]] about the [[political]] [[dangers]] of taking on the issue of gun control.
** Russell Riley, [https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/06/when-bill-clinton-passed-gun-reform/488045/ “When Bill Clinton Passed Gun Control”], ''[[w:The Atlantic|The Atlantic]]'', (June 25, 2016).

* To be clear, gunmakers don’t benefit from tighter gun control. They benefit when there are talks of tighter gun control ''but those talks go nowhere''.
** Sam  Ro, ''[[w:Business Insider|Business Insider]]'' ({{cite news |title=Smith &amp; Wesson nails what Obama did for gun sales in one sentence |first=Sam |last=Ro |date=June 19, 2015 |accessdate=November 4, 2018 |publisher=[[w:Business Insider|Business Insider]] |url=http://uk.businessinsider.com/smith-and-wesson-obama-was-good-for-gun-sales-2015-6}}; {{cite news |title=Obama could be the best thing that’s happened to gun sales |magazine=[[w:Fortune (magazine)|Fortune]] |first=Chris |last=Matthews |date=June 19, 2015 |accessdate=May 28, 2018 |url=http://fortune.com/2015/06/19/obama-gun-sales/}}}).

* You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some ''bullet control''. Man, we need to control the bullets, that's right. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. $5,000 for a bullet. You know why? 'Cause if a bullet costs $5000, there'd be no more innocent bystanders...
** [[Chris Rock]], &quot;Bigger and Blacker&quot; (1999), ''HBO''.

* When the [[Judgment Day]] comes civilization will have an alibi, &quot;I never [[killing|took a human life]], I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.&quot;
** [[Will Rogers]], as quoted in ''The Quotable Will Rogers'' (2006) by Joseph H. Carter.

* You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old [[Pilgrims]] [[praying]] when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for.
** [[Will Rogers]] radio broadcast (14 April 1935)

* A great many sportsmen have urged me to support this bill. It is hard for me to understand the interest of sportsmen in pistols. I myself have fished and hunted a great deal. I have a deep interest in outdoor sports and the various associations which foster them, but it is common knowledge, of course, that fishermen never use a pistol and hunters practically never use a pistol... '''[even for] theoretical self-protection, the value of a revolver is very problematical.'''
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], 1931, opposing the Hanley-Fake firearms bill which would have increased access to hanguns. Quoted in ''Gun Violence in America:The Struggle for Control'', Alexander DeConde, 2003 (p.132).

* “Gunslingers are unimaginative men. If they had an imagination—” (and a brain, I mentally added) “—they wouldn’t use guns to solve every problem they come across. All they understand is shooting.”
** [[w:Kristine Kathryn Rusch|Kristine Kathryn Rusch]], ''Renn and the Little Men'' in [[w:Martin H. Greenberg|Martin H. Greenberg]] (ed.) ''Westward Weird'' {{ISBN|978-0-7564-0718-6}} p. 199

* For the purpose of securing the working class in the possession of complete power, and in order to eliminate all possibility of restoring the power of the exploiters, '''it is decreed that all workers be armed.'''
** [[w:Russian Constitution of 1918|Russian Constitution of 1918]], (Article I, chapter 2, paragraph G).

===S===
* The surprising thing about the bulletproof [[water]] was how poorly the high-powered [[rifles]] did. The full metal jacket bullets for the high-powered rifles came apart upon hitting the water. Even the dreaded [[w:.50 caliber rifle|.50 caliber rifle]] was only able to penetrate about 3 ft of water.
** [[w:Adam Savage|Adam Savage]] and [[w:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]], ''[[w:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'', Episode 34 “Bullet Proof Water”,(July 3, 2005); as qtd. in  David Hambling, [https://www.wired.com/2007/06/shooting-throug/ “Super-Bullets Slice Through Water (And Flesh)”], ''WIRED'', 06.08.07.

* The [[security]] of this [[country]] no longer is dependent on private gun ownership, and the [[weaponry]] used by members of the [[military]] is in no way dependent on personal gun ownership. &lt;br&gt; Uncontrolled gun ownership does not solve collective security; it has become the root of insecurity.
** Eugen Schoenfeld, [http://atlantajewishtimes.timesofisrael.com/worship-guns-worship-idols/ &quot;Worship of Guns is Worship of Idols&quot;], ''Atlanta Jewish Times'', July 20, 2016

* I have a love interest in every one of my films — a gun.
** [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]], interview with ''Playboy'' (January 1988).

*'''Police officer''': What are you going to do with that gun?
:'''[[Huey P. Newton]]''': What are you going to do with ''your'' gun? Because if you try to shoot at me, or you try to take this gun, I'm going to shoot back at you, swine ... You come from Georgia somewhere, you're downtown making $800 a month, and you come down here murdering and brutalizing black people in the black communities. They gave you sergeant stripes and I say you're nothing but a low-life, scurvy swine. A sharecropper from racist Georgia in the South somewhere. So if you draw that gun, I'll shoot back at you and I'll blow your brains out!
:'''Police officer''': You ... you ... you ... you're just turning the Constitution around!
:'''Newton''': I'm not turning anything around. And I got my gun. What are you going to do with yours?
:* Confrontation related by [[w:Bobby Seale|Bobby Seale]], in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=CJX_JX9jENgC&amp;pg=PA90&amp; Seize the Time; The Story of the Black Panther Party and Huey P. Newton]'' (1970)  

* '''If [[survival]] calls for the bearing of arms, bear them you must. But the most important part of the challenge is for you to find another means that does not come with the killing of your fellow man.'''
** [[Rod Serling]] Speech at Binghamton Community High School (1968){{fix cite&lt;!-- published where? --&gt;}}

* For [[men]] know that throughout all the prior ages of [[history]] the bottom line in male-[[female]] relationships has always been woman's need for male [[protection]]. Women could not live [[alone]] for fear of predation by males. So they lived with a male protector and accepted his dictation of their role, either as a condition of receiving his protection, or because he would impose it upon them by physical force, or both. Access to firearms gives women, for the first time in history, the capacity to live independently and apart from men in [[safety]] and [[freedom]].
** [[w:Carol Ruth Silver|Carol Ruth Silver]], and Don B. Kates Jr. (1979) ''Self Defense Handgun Ownership and the Independence of Women in a Violent Sexist Society''. Archived February 11, 2014, at the Wayback Machine. North River Press: Hawthorne, New York. Page 24. (This book is hosted online by the Second Amendment Foundation.) (Retrieved Mar 24, 2015.)

* Had it? Should've shot it! Now, you're dearly departed.
** [[DMX (rapper)|Earl Simmons]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpHtEa2II_s &quot;Ruff Ryders' Anthem&quot;]

* Why would an ultimately factual question about the consequences of gun control laws divide people along ideological lines? Only if at least one set of people were more devoted to their vision than to the facts. This shows up when gun control zealots are asked whether whatever new law they propose would have prevented the shooting rampage that they are using as a stage from which to propose a new clampdown on gun ownership. Almost always, the new law being proposed would not have made the slightest difference. That too is part of the farce. A deadly farce. So is the automatic assertion that whoever engaged in a shooting rampage was a madman. Yet these supposedly crazy shooters are usually rational enough to choose some &quot;gun-free zone&quot; for their murderous attacks. They seem more rational than gun control zealots who keep creating more 'gun-free zones'. Gun control zealots are almost always people who are lenient toward criminals, while they are determined to crack down on law-abiding citizens who want to be able to defend themselves and their loved ones.
** [[Thomas Sowell]], [http://jewishworldreview.com/cols/sowell101315.php3#4YYMQJpZ8MsvhIOA.99 &quot;The 'Gun Control' Farce&quot;] (13 October 2015), ''Jewish World Review''.

* The grand illusion of zealots for laws preventing ordinary, law-abiding people from having guns is that &quot;gun control&quot; laws actually control guns. In a country with many millions of guns, not all of them registered, this is a fantasy and a farce. Guns do not vanish into thin air because there are gun control laws. Guns — whether legal or illegal — can last for centuries. Passing laws against guns may enable zealots to feel good about themselves, but at the cost of other people's lives. Why anyone would think that criminals who disobey other laws, including laws against murder, would obey gun control laws is a mystery. A disarmed population makes crime a safer occupation and street violence a safer sport.
** [[Thomas Sowell]], [http://jewishworldreview.com/cols/sowell101415.php3#JWXUXMcddgXsE0HM.99 &quot;The 'Gun Control' Farce: Part II&quot;] (14 October 2015), ''Jewish World Review''.

* Almost invariably, mass shootings occur in gun-free settings. Yet gun control zealots seem determined to create more gun-free settings. How often have supposedly mentally unbalanced shooters opened fire at a meeting of the National Rifle Association? They are apparently not that mentally unbalanced. They pick places where people are not likely to shoot back. A mass shooting at a movie theater a few years ago took place at a theater farther away from where the shooter lived than other theaters in the area that were showing the very same movie. The difference was that this theater had advertised that it was a gun-free zone. Who is more mentally unbalanced, those who are doing the shooting or those who refuse to examine the facts about what kinds of places attract such shooters? Schools and religious institutions are sitting ducks, and the shootings there have gone on until someone else with a gun showed up on the scene. That is what puts an end to the carnage, not gun control laws. People who are prepared to defy the laws against murder are not very likely to be stopped by laws against guns. Only law-abiding citizens are likely to be stopped by gun control laws, and to become sitting ducks. As for facts and statistics, the only ones likely to be mentioned by gun control zealots, including the media, are those on how many people were killed by guns. How many lives were saved by guns will never make it through the ideological filters of the media, the political establishment or our educational institutions. Yet factual data on how many threats or attacks were deterred in a given year by displaying a firearm have long been available. Seldom is it necessary to actually pull the trigger to get some thug or criminal to back off and go elsewhere, often in some haste. Are the only lives that matter those that are lost, usually because there is no gun immediately available to protect them, but not the lives saved because they did have a gun at hand to protect them? Gun control zealots seem especially opposed to people being allowed to carry their guns concealed. But concealed weapons protect not only those who carry them, but also to some extent those who do not, because criminals have no way of knowing in advance who does and does not have a gun. Muggings and rapes become much more dangerous activities for criminals where many law-abiding people are allowed to carry concealed guns. It can take a lot of the fun out of being a thug.
** [[Thomas Sowell]], [http://jewishworldreview.com/cols/sowell010516.php3 &quot;Showman-in-Chief&quot;] (6 January 2016), ''Jewish World Review''.

*I could be wrong but I have seen your face before&lt;br&gt;You were the man that I saw running from his door&lt;br&gt;You owed him money but you gave him something more&lt;br&gt;With a gun&lt;br&gt;With a gun&lt;br&gt;You will be what you are just the same&lt;br&gt;Did you pay the other man with the piece in your hand&lt;br&gt;And leave him lying in the rain?
** [[Steely Dan]], &quot;With a Gun&quot; from ''[[w:Pretzel Logic|Pretzel Logic]]'' (1974), lyrics by Donald Fagen and Walter Becker

* What's the dirty little secret behind 'gun control' in America? Here are some hints. Working forever without pay. Whipping and torture. Buying and selling of human beings. Hate. Fear. Suspicion. Terrorism. These hints recall the evil days of slavery, and post-Civil War periods of rule by terror. Those who would own human beings as slaves created 'gun control' laws to keep the power in their own hands. They could not keep African slaves and their American descendants under lifelong control without making sure the slaves remained unarmed. Free black people had served honorably and with distinction in the Revolutionary War. Yet under a 1792 federal law, black men could not serve as part of the state militias. In Louisiana, slaves were forbidden to use a firearm even in self-defense. In South Carolina, slaves could not possess guns without a master's permission. Black persons, whether slave or free, had to have a license or a judge's permission before they could carry a firearm in Florida and Delaware. For black people, guns were banned entirely in several states. Florida laws empowered white 'citizen patrols' to invade and search blacks' homes for guns or other weapons. None of these policies applied, of course, to white people. After the Civil War, 'gun control' laws kept black people 'in their place'. Blacks had to obtain licenses to have guns in Mississippi and Louisiana. Alabama banned all guns in 1866; for blacks. Later, Alabama and Texas placed huge taxes on the sale of handguns, which effectively banned guns for the poor. Tennessee and Arkansas banned the inexpensive handguns which were the only types that poor black people could afford. South Carolina banned all handguns, except those for police and deputies. Those American 'gun control' laws worked; they disarmed most black people. The Ku Klux Klan and others could freely terrorize black families without fear. Unarmed victims couldn't shoot back. Lynch law ruled, and claimed at least 3,446 lives up through the end of the Civil Rights Movement. Gun registration. Licensing. Judicial permit. Police approval. High taxes on guns and ammunition. Selective gun bans. Total gun bans. Police 'gun sweeps' of private homes. Sound familiar? The 'gun control' lobby advocates all of these policies today. These policies historically worked in the past to disarm a targeted people. These policies will have the same effect now. Although the gun prohibitionists have dropped the race hate rhetoric, they use the tried-and-true methods of the slave owners and Klansmen. The same means must achieve the same end; control of the unarmed people. The slave owners feared that armed slaves would not long tolerate their condition. Modern politicians act like they have the same fear. Are we peaceful American citizens the modern day slaves who must be kept in our place? What do these politicians fear from an armed man who wants to defend his family from violence in a bad neighborhood? How does a woman who carries a concealed weapon while walking at night cause crime? Race-based 'gun control' is not ancient history. The federal Gun Control Act of 1968 was passed as a response to race riots in major cities. The GCA wasn't passed to combat ordinary street crime or gang violence; white 'liberal' racism energized that law. Makers, sellers and users of firearms can derail the recent law suits and destroy 'gun control' by putting the gun prohibitionists on the defensive. Make them explain why they favor racism-based laws.
** [[w:Richard W. Stevens|Richard Stevens]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20020422062807/http://keepandbeararms.com/information/XcIBViewItem.asp?ID=902 &quot;Racist Politicians Want Your Guns&quot;] (22 April 2002), ''Keep and Bear Arms''.

* The right of the citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered, as the palladium of the liberties of a republic; since it offers a strong moral check against the usurpation and arbitrary power of rulers; and will generally, even if these are successful in the first instance, enable the people to resist and triumph over them.
** [[Joseph Story]], as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=Ennw5lvHmcoC&amp;pg=PA708&amp;dq=%22The+right+of+the+citizens+to+keep%22 ''Commentaries on the Constitution of the United States''] (1833), p. 708.

* '''Homer''': Just give me my gun! &lt;br&gt; '''Wiseguy''': Sorry, the law requires a five day waiting period. We've got to run a background check. &lt;br&gt;'''Homer''': Five days? But I'm mad now! Oh, I'd kill you if I had my gun. &lt;br&gt; '''Wiseguy''': Yeah, well, you don't.
** [[w:John Swartzwelder|John Swartzwelder]], ''[[The Simpsons/Season 9|The Simpsons]]'', &quot;[[w:The Cartridge Family|The Cartridge Family]]&quot; (1997).

===T===
* Black Americans don't seem to care that their ancestors suffered like hell for the legal right to own and use guns. Not just in wars, but in everyday life. As slaves before the Civil War, blacks had no right to own guns. As freedmen after the Civil War, state and local laws, and outright threats from armed whites, kept them from carrying guns. That meant blacks were easy marks for ordinary criminals, for racist criminals like the Ku Klux Klan, and for political criminals that kept them disarmed and out of the voting booth. But over the decades blacks armed themselves, fought back, and eventually won the fight to own and carry guns like other Americans.
** [[w:A. Texan|A. Texan]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20020106080010/http://www.keepandbeararms.com/information/XcIBViewItem.asp?ID=1754 &quot;The Return of the Black Slave&quot;] (5 June 2001), ''Keep and Bear Arms''.

* It has been argued that the perfection of guns of great destructive power will stop [[warfare]].  So I myself thought for a long time, but now I believe this to be a profound mistake. Such developments will greatly modify, but not arrest it.  On the contrary, I think that every new arm that is invented, every new departure that is made in this direction, merely invites new talent and skill, engages new effort, offers new incentive, and so only gives a fresh impetus to further development.  Think of the discovery of gun-powder.  Can we conceive of any more radical departure than was effected by this innovation?  Let us imagine ourselves living in that period: would we not have thought then that warfare was at an end, when the armor of the knight became an object of ridicule, when bodily strength and skill, meaning so much before, became of comparatively little value?  Yet gunpowder did not stop warfare: quite the opposite it acted as a most powerful incentive.
** [[Nikola Tesla]], [http://www.tfcbooks.com/tesla/1900-06-00.htm &quot;The Problem With Increasing Human Energy: With Special References To the Harnessing Of The Sun's Energy&quot;], ''Century Illustrated Magazine'', (June 1900).

* I've got a nine millimeter, ready to go off any minute. So, you feel it? Because of the law, I've had to conceal it. If you fuck around you're going to make me reveal it. Hey!
** [[Akon|Aliaume Damala Badara Akon Thiam]], as quoted in [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidbanner/9mm.html &quot;9mm&quot;] (July 2007), by Lavell Crump, ''The Greatest Story Ever Told'' (July 2008).

* Why are the feds worried about me clocking on this corner, when there's politicians out here getting popped in [[Arizona]]?
** [[w:Freddie Gibbs|Fredrick Tipton]], [[w:Thuggin%27_(EP)|&quot;Thuggin'&quot;]] (2011), ''Thuggin{{'}}'' (November 2011).

*I think the NRA is kooky, but I have no problem with firearms.
**[[w:Michael Totten|Michael Totten]], [http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/blog/michael-j-totten/51-facts-about-me &quot;51 Facts About Me&quot;] (26 June 2006), ''World Affairs Journal''

* '''I do not believe in shooting anything that cannot shoot back.'''
**[[Harry S. Truman]], ''Mr. Citizen'', Harry Truman (1960).

*The right of self-defense is the first law of nature; in most governments it has been the study of rulers to confine this right within the narrowest limits possible. Wherever standing armies are kept up, and when the right of the people to keep and bear arms is, under any color or pretext whatsoever, prohibited, liberty, if not already annihilated, is on the brink of destruction.
** [[w:Henry St. George Tucker|Henry St. George Tucker]], as quoted in [http://www.friesian.com/quotes.htm ''Blackstone's 1768 Commentaries on the Laws of England''].

===U===
* I don't believe in death row&lt;br&gt;Skid row or the gangs&lt;br&gt;Don't believe in the Uzi&lt;br&gt;It just went off in my hand.
** [[U2]], &quot;[[w:God Part II|God Part II]]&quot;, from ''[[w:Rattle and Hum|Rattle and Hum]]'' (1988), lyrics by Bono

===V===
*See a gun is real easy&lt;br&gt;In this desperate part of town.&lt;br&gt;Turns you from hunted into hunter&lt;br&gt;Gonna hunt somebody down ...
**&quot;Meanstreet&quot;, from ''[[w:Fair Warning (Van Halen album)|Fair Warning]]'' (1981) by [[w:Van Halen|Van Halen]]. Lyrics by Michael Anthony, [[David Lee Roth]], Alex Van Halen and Eddie Van Halen.

* [T]he balls sent by this gun are not ordinary balls, but little cases of [[glass]]. These glass cases are covered with a case of steel, and weighted with a pellet of lead; they are real Leyden bottles, into which the electricity is forced to a very high tension. With the slightest shock they are discharged, and the animal, however strong it may be, falls dead.
** [[Jules Verne]], ''Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea'', (1870), unabridged translation of ''Vingt milles lieues sous les mers'' based on the original French texts published in Paris by J. Hetzel et Cie. over the period 1869–71. Translated from the Original French by F. P. Walter. 

*Yo, peep. This me name be Gore Vidal. I is spitting rhymes about early history. Why homies give props to Uzis, not books? Ain't nothing but a mystery, aight.
**[[Gore Vidal]], as quoted in [http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=GCXBuoCDcrI#Gore_Vidal_Rap_on_Da_Ali_G_Show &quot;Jah&quot;] (15 August 2004), ''[[:w:List of Da Ali G Show episodes|Da Ali G Show]]''.

*A well-regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.
**[[w:Virginia Declaration of Rights|''Virginia Declaration of Rights'']] (12 June 1776).

*&lt;p&gt;[[Robert Kennedy]], whose summer home is eight miles away from the home I live in all year round, was shot two nights ago. He died last night. So it goes.&lt;br /&gt; [[Martin Luther King]] was shot a month ago. He died, too. So it goes. &lt;br /&gt; And everyday my government gives me a count of corpses created by the military service in Vietnam. So it goes.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My father died many years ago now—of natural causes. So it goes. He was a sweet man. He was a gun nut, too. He left me his guns. They rust.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Kurt Vonnegut]], ''[[Slaughterhouse-Five]]'', 1969.

===W===
* '''Tank''': So what do you need? Besides a [[miracle]]?&lt;br /&gt;'''Neo''': Guns. Lots of guns.
** ''[[The Matrix]]'' (1999), written by [[w:Lilly Wachowski|Lilly Wachowski]] and [[w:Lana Wachowski|Lana Wachowski]] [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/quotes?qt0324276].

* Americans' desire for a certain gun is elementary: if cops use a gun or if a weapon's availability is threatened, people demand the gun.
** {{cite news |title=Our Favorite Weapon |first=Michael |last=Washburn |date=January 27, 2012 |magazine=[[w:The New York Times Book Review|The New York Times Book Review]] |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/books/review/glock-the-rise-of-americas-gun-by-paul-m-barrett-book-review.html}}

* It was a constant pressure among white racists to keep guns out of the hands of African-Americans, because they would rise up and revolt. The KKK began as a gun-control organization. Before the Civil War, blacks were never allowed to own guns. During the Civil War, blacks kept guns for the first time — either they served in the Union army and they were allowed to keep their guns, or they buy guns on the open market where for the first time there's hundreds of thousands of guns flooding the marketplace after the war ends. So they arm up because they know who they're dealing with in the South. White racists do things like pass laws to disarm them, but that's not really going to work. So they form these racist posses all over the South to go out at night in large groups to terrorize blacks and take those guns away. If blacks were disarmed, they couldn't fight back.
** [[w:Adam Winkler|Adam Winkler]] ''Gunfight: The Battle Over the Right to Bear Arms in America'' W.W. Norton (2013). Op-Ed: ''The New York Times'', Charles M. Blow, “Gun Control and White Terror”, ''The New York Times'', (Jan. 7, 2016)

* '''A free people ought not only to be armed but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well digested plan is requisite: And their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories, as tend to render them independent on others, for essential, particularly for military supplies.'''
** [[George Washington]], January 8, 1790, First State of the Union Address [http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/firsts/sou/text.html]; part of this accurate quote has also been used as part of improperly altered statements on the internet, and a few published works, such as ''America : The Final Chapter'' (2009) by Jessi Winchester, p. 213: &quot;A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.&quot; See also NRA edited version available on t-shirts: &quot;A free people ought to be armed - George Washington.&quot; [http://www.nrastore.com/nrastore/ProductDetail.aspx?p=CT+437&amp;ct=e].

* Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed, as they are in almost every kingdom in Europe.
** [[Noah Webster]], ''Examination into the the Leading Principles of the Federal Constitution'' (1787) in ''Pamphlets on the Constitution of the United States'', Paul Leicester Ford (1888), [http://books.google.com/books?id=OVYSAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA56&amp;dq=%22Before+a+standing+army%22 p. 56].

* If we don't get gun-control laws in this country, we are full of beans. To have the National Rifle Association rule the United States is pathetic. And I agree with Mayor Michael Bloomberg: It's time to put up or shut up about gun control for both parties.
** [[W:Harvey Weinstein|Harvey Weinstein]], as quoted in [https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/harvey-weinstein-colorado-shooting-dark-knight-rises-354978 Harvey Weinstein Calls for Filmmaker Summit on Violence in Movies After Colorado Shooting] by Pamela McClintock, ''HollyWood Reporter'', July 26, 2012

* A Winchester Rifle should have a place of honor in every black home.
** [[w:Ida B. Wells|Ida B. Wells-Barnett]], ''[http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14975 Southern Horrors: Lynch Law in All Its Phases]'' (1894).

* The only times an Afro-American who was assaulted got away has been when he had a gun and used it in self-defense.
** [[w:Ida B. Wells|Ida B. Wells-Barnett]], &quot;Southern Horrors: Lynch Law in All Its Phases&quot;, pamphlet, Chapter VI “Self Help,” (1892)

* I have asserted the right of Negroes to meet the violence of the Ku Klux Klan by armed self-defense, and have acted on it. It has always been an accepted right of Americans, as the history of our western states proves, that where the law is unable, or unwilling, to enforce order, the citizens can, and must act in self-defense against lawless violence.
** [[w:Robert F. Williams|Robert F. Williams]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html ''Negroes With Guns''].

* People use guns but, in a sense, guns use people too. When we have the technology for violence easily to hand, our choices are skewed and we are more vulnerable to being manipulated into violent action.
** [[w:Rowan Williams|Bishop Rowan Williams]], [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/22/archbishop-canterbury-gun-controls-us &quot;Archbishop of Canterbury backs calls for stricter gun controls in US&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (December 22, 2012).

* Remember when she had [[Tom Selleck]] on her program a while back? She blind-sided Tom Selleck! He's a good fella, ain't never hurt nobody, but he's in the NRA, so she hates that. She was like, 'Well, you're in the [[w:NRA|NRA]]. Let me tell you something, Tom: guns kill people!' Do you believe she said that? On the Rosie O'Fatass show! She looks right at him and says, 'Guns kill people!' Let me tell you something: husbands that come home early kill people! Alright? The gun was just sitting there! If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil! Git-r-done!
** [[Larry the Cable Guy|Daniel Lawrence Whitney]], as &quot;Larry the Cable Guy&quot;, ''Git-r-Done DVD'', 2003.

* In August 2009, MSNBC's Contessa Brewer was discussing a tea party rally in Arizona, where it's legal to carry an unconcealed weapon. She said: &quot;A man at a pro-health care rally... wore a semiautomatic assault rifle on his shoulder and a pistol on his hip... There are questions about whether this has racial overtones, I mean, here you have a man of color in the presidency and white people showing up with guns.&quot; All that her audience was shown were a rifle and pistol strapped to a man's back. MSNBC concealed the fact that the armed man was black and did not show the interview he gave to the reporter. Brewer knowingly deceived her audience because '''an armed black man didn't fit the racial narrative'''.
** Walter Williams, [http://friesian.com/racism.htm &quot;Leftist race-baiters stir up animosity&quot;] (9 May 2012).

* If you take guns away from legal gun owners then the only people who would have guns would be the bad guys. ... Even a pacifist would get violent if someone were trying to kill him or her. You would fight for your life, whatever your beliefs. You'd use a rock or tear one of these chairs out of the floor. Hey, maybe I've been watching too many Bruce Willis movies!
** [[Bruce Willis]], as quoted in [http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/story/willis-speaks-out-for-guns_30_04_2006 &quot;Bruce Willis - Willis Speaks Out For Guns&quot; at ''ContactMusic.com'' (30 April 2006)].

* So this time let us skip all the sighing and promising and moments of silence. Why keep up the pretense that we are going to take any real and practical steps toward sanity? Everyone knows we are not going to do a single damn thing. We can't. '''We are captives of The Gun.&lt;br&gt;The Gun is patriotic.&lt;br&gt;The Gun is America.&lt;br&gt;The Gun is God.'''
** [[w:Garry Wills|Garry Wills]], June 15, 2016 ({{cite news |title=A nation captive to The Gun |authorlink=w:Garry Wills |first=Garry |last=Wills |date=June 15, 2016 |url=https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2016/06/14/nation-captive-the-gun/eVN6Kh8hVhodxxMTZnrtBM/story.html}})

* “People were allowed to own guns, and everyone did own guns [in the West], for the most part,” says Winkler. “Having a firearm to protect yourself in the lawless wilderness from wild animals, hostile native tribes, and outlaws was a wise idea. But when you came into town, you had to either check your guns if you were a visitor or keep your guns at home if you were a resident.”
** Adam Winkler; as qtd. in Matt Jancer, [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/gun-control-old-west-180968013/ “Gun Control Is as Old as the Old West”], ''Smithsonian'', (February 5, 2018).

* Frontier towns with and without gun legislation were violent places, more violent than family-friendly farming communities and Eastern cities of the time, but those without restrictions tended to have worse violence. “I've never seen any rhetoric from that time period saying that the only thing that's going to reduce violence is more people with guns,” says Winkler. “It seems to be much more of a 20th-century attitude than one associated with the [[w:Wild West|Wild West]].”
** Adam Winkler; as qtd. in Matt Jancer, [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/gun-control-old-west-180968013/ “Gun Control Is as Old as the Old West”], ''Smithsonian'', (February 5, 2018).

* Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's [[Superman]]. Give him two and he thinks he's [[God]].
** [[w:Barry Wong|Barry Wong]] and [[w:John Woo|John Woo]], in lines for superintendent Pang from the film ''[[Hard Boiled]]'' (1992).

===X===
* Last but not least, I must say this concerning the great controversy over rifles and shotguns. The only thing that I've ever said is that in areas where the government has proven itself either unwilling or unable to defend the lives and the property of Negroes, it's time for Negroes to defend themselves. Article number two of the constitutional amendments provides you and me the right to own a rifle or a shotgun. It is constitutionally legal to own a shotgun or a rifle. This doesn't mean you're going to get a rifle and form battalions and go out looking for white folks, although you'd be within your rights—I mean, you'd be justified; but that would be illegal and we don't do anything illegal. If the white man doesn't want the black man buying rifles and shotguns, then let the government do its job. [...] If he's not going to do his job in running the government and providing you and me with the protection that our taxes are supposed to be for, since he spends all those billions for his defense budget, he certainly can't begrudge you and me spending $12 or $15 for a single-shot, or double-action. I hope you understand. Don't go out shooting people, but any time—brothers and sisters, and especially the men in this audience; some of you wearing Congressional Medals of Honor, with shoulders this wide, chests this big, muscles that big—any time you and I sit around and read where they bomb a church and murder in cold blood, not some grownups, but four little girls while they were praying to the same God the white man taught them to pray to, and you and I see the government go down and can't find who did it.
** [[Malcolm X]], ''[[w:The Ballot or the Bullet|The Ballot or the Bullet]]'' [http://web.archive.org/20120113085909/homepage.mac.com/mseffie/assignments/invisible_man/ballot_cleveland.html speech in Cleveland, Ohio (April 3, 1964)]

===Y===
* &quot;[[w:Video games|Games]] today are very, very real,&quot; Zelk says. &quot;It's the [[weapons]]; it's the [[w:Story line|story lines]], you know, that people get caught up in — even the optics that are used on the guns, it says L-3 [[w:EOTech|EOTech]]. It actually has the name of the brand on the side of it so you know which optic, you know, you could go out and buy.&quot; 
** Sami Yenigun, [https://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2013/04/29/179853504/a-real-world-connection-between-video-games-and-guns “A Real-World Connection Between Video Games And Guns”], ''[[w:All things Considered|All Things Considered]]'', ''NPR'', (April 29, 2013).

* Dear friends, on 9 October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends, too. They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed. And out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born. I am the same Malala. My ambitions are the same. My hopes are the same. And my dreams are the same. Dear sisters and brothers, I am not against anyone. Neither am I here to speak in terms of personal revenge against the Taliban or any other terrorist group. I am here to speak for the right of education for every child. I want education for the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all the terrorists and extremists. I do not even hate the Talib who shot me.
** [[Malala Yousafzai]] as quoted in [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/the-full-text-malala-yousafzai-delivers-defiant-riposte-to-taliban-militants-with-speech-to-the-un-general-assembly-8706606.html Malala Yousafzai delivers defiant riposte to Taliban militants with speech to the UN General Assembly], ''The Independent'', (12 July, 2013)

* Even if there was a gun in my hand and he was standing in front of me, I would not shoot him. This is the compassion I have learned from [[Muhammad|Mohamed]], the prophet of mercy, [[Jesus Christ]] and Lord [[Buddha]]. This the legacy of change I have inherited from [[Martin Luther King]], [[Nelson Mandela]] and [[Muhammad Ali Jinnah|Mohammed Ali Jinnah]]. This is the philosophy of nonviolence that I have learned from [[Gandhi]], [[wikipedia:Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan|Bacha Khan]] and [[Mother Teresa]]. And this is the forgiveness that I have learned from my father and from my mother. '''This is what my soul is telling me: be peaceful and love everyone.'''
** [[Malala Yousafzai]] as quoted in [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/the-full-text-malala-yousafzai-delivers-defiant-riposte-to-taliban-militants-with-speech-to-the-un-general-assembly-8706606.html Malala Yousafzai delivers defiant riposte to Taliban militants with speech to the UN General Assembly], ''The Independent'', (12 July, 2013)

===Dialogue===
:'''[[Ninth Doctor|The Doctor]]''': Get out of the way! [[Rose Tyler|Rose]], get out of the way [[now]]! 
:'''[[Rose Tyler|Rose]]''': No. I won't let you do this. 
:'''The Doctor''': [[Dalek|That thing]] [[killed]] hundreds of [[people]]!
:'''Rose''': It's not the one pointing the [[gun]] at me.
:* [[w:Robert Shearman|Robert Shearman]], &quot;[[w:Dalek (Doctor Who episode)|Dalek]]&quot;, ''[[Doctor Who|Doctor Who]]'', ''BBC'', (30 April 2005); The [[Ninth Doctor]] as interpreted by [[w:Christopher Eccleston|Christopher Eccleston]] and [[Rose Tyler]] as interpreted by [[w:Billie Piper|Billie Piper]].

{{clear}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.
**Falsely attributed to Sigmund Freud.
** This has been sourced to ''General Introduction to Psychoanalysis'' [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.quotations/msg/5fc8dd0f7d56981e] [http://groups.google.com/group/uk.politics.guns/msg/4ad060e213bc5b6b] [http://groups.google.com/group/talk.politics.guns/msg/7fbce4b3fa5324a7] [http://groups.google.com/group/can.talk.guns/msg/a57bc07124e64fba] due to a misreading of a 1990 essay by [[w:Don B. Kates|Don B. Kates]] [http://www.guncite.com/journals/gun_control_katesreal.html]. The quote is Kates' own characterization of a passage in Freud and Oppenheim, ''Dreams in Folklore'', and not Freud's words.

* The strongest reason for people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. 
** Falsely attributed to [[Thomas Jefferson]].
** This has been sourced to &quot;The Papers of Thomas Jefferson&quot;, asserted to have been edited by C.J. Boyd. The quote does not appear in Jefferson's collected papers as searched in Google Print. The name of the editor is also problematic: some volumes of Jefferson's papers were edited by Julian P. Boyd, not C.J. Boyd.
{{Misattributed end}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Gun}}
{{wiktionary|gun}}

[[Category:Weapons]]

[[ru:Оружие]]
[[uk:Зброя]]</text>
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'''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott|Ted Elliott]] and [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]].'' ''Story by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]] (book)''
{{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Shrek ==
* That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
* Donkey, two things, okay? Shut.... up!

== Donkey ==
* All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

== Dialogue ==
:''[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp]''
:'''First villager''': I think it's in there?
:'''Second Villager''': All right, let's get it!
:'''Third villager''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
:'''Fourth villager''': Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
:'''Shrek''': Really? ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
:'''Fifth villager''': ''[waves his torch in front of Shrek]'' Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously while dropping the unlit torch]'' Right.
:''[Then Shrek roars ferociously until the villagers stop screaming and yelling]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[quietly]'' This is the part where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! &quot;''[he picks up a wanted poster and reads it]'' &quot;Wanted: Fairy Tale Creatures&quot;. ''[rolls his eyes, walks back to the house, and throws the wanted poster as it lands on the ground face up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
:'''Captain''': ''[annoyed and angrily]'' Get her outta my sight!
:'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! ''[Guards took her away]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shrek''': ''[to Donkey]'' WHY...are you following me?
:'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]''
:'Cause I'm all alone.
:There's no one here beside me.
:My problems have all gone.
:There's no one to deride me!
:But ya gotta have friends!
:'''Shrek''': Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
:'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
:'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
:'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall?
:'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, &quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks!&quot; Doesn't that bother you?
:'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope.
:'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really?
:'''Donkey''': Really, really.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': ''[looks at a hovel]'' Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
:'''Shrek''': '''''That''''' would be my home.
:'''Donkey''': Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at boulder]'' I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
:'''Shrek''': I like my privacy.
:'''Donkey''': Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay wit you?
:'''Shrek''': Uh, what?!
:'''Donkey''': Can I stay wit you... please?
:'''Shrek''': ''[sarcastically]'' Of course!
:'''Donkey''': Really?
:'''Shrek''': No.
:'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! ''[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
:'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only.
:'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[runs to the chair inside]''
:'''Shrek''': Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
:'''Donkey''': This is gon’ be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
:'''Shrek''': Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep?
:'''Shrek''': Outside!!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]''
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
:'''Dwarf''': Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
:'''Shrek''': Huh?
:''[rushes over to his bed to find...]''
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What?
: '''Shrek''': ''[Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck]'' I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. '''''What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]''
:'''Donkey''': Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
:'''Pinocchio''': Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
:'''Shrek''': What?
:'''Pinocchio''': We were forced to come here!
:'''Shrek''': By who?
:'''Little Pig''': Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk]'' That's it! All right, that's it! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat]'' ''[playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up]'' Run, run, run, as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
:'''Gingy''': You’re a monster.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': I am not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. ''[crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he says this]'' Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
:'''Gingy''': Eat me!! ''[spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts and straining]'' I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Now, tell me! Tell me, or I'll… ''[reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons]''
:'''Gingy''': No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[shines a lamp on Gingy]'' All right, then, who's hiding them?!
:'''Gingy''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know… the muffin man?
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-Who lives on Drury Lane?
:'''Gingy''': Well, she's married to the muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?!
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man!! 
:'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man.
:''[Door opens]''
:'''Captain''': My lord! We found it.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[arriving at Duloc]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[observing a giant building]'' So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
:'''Donkey''': Uh-huh, that's the place.
:'''Shrek''': Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek enters the tournament]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': What is that? It's hideous!
:'''Shrek''': Well, that's not very nice. ''[gestures to Donkey]'' It's just a donkey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]''
:'''Donkey''': Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
:'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? 
:'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no.
:'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
:'''Donkey''': Example?
:'''Shrek''': Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
:''[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]''
:'''Donkey''': They stink?
:'''Shrek''': Yes... No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, they make you cry?
:'''Shrek''': No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
:'''Shrek''': ''[peels an onion]'' '''''No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.'''''
:''[heaves a sigh and then walks off]''
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have '''''layers'''''. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
:'''Shrek''': I don't '''''care''''' what everyone likes! Ogres are '''''not''''' like '''''cakes'''''!
:'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, &quot;Let's get some parfait,&quot; they say, &quot;Hell no, I don't like no parfait.&quot;? Parfaits are delicious!
:'''Shrek''': No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
:'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
:'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or somethin’? I'm makin’ a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin’.                 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]''
:'''Donkey''': Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin’, don't look down... ''[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey]'' Shrek, I'm lookin’ down!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
:'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
:'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the '''''dragon''''', Shrek.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': Where are you going? The exit's over there!
:'''Shrek''': ''[going to save Donkey]'' Well, I have to save my ass.
:'''Fiona''': ''[shocked]'' What kind of knight '''''are''''' you?!?!?
:'''Shrek''': One of a kind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess!
:'''Fiona''': It talks!
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's gettin’ him to shut up that's the trick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
:'''Fiona''': And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
:'''Shrek''': Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in '''''short''''' supply.
:''[chortles]''
:'''Donkey''': Yeah! There are those who think '''''little''''' of him!
:''[Shrek and Donkey laugh]''
:'''Fiona''': Stop it. Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
:'''Shrek''': [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the &quot;measuring&quot; when you see him tomorrow!
:'''Fiona''': [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
:'''Shrek''': No, that'll take '''''longer'''''.
:'''Fiona''': But there's... robbers in the woods!
:'''Donkey''': [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
:'''Shrek''': Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest--
:'''Fiona''': [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp '''''NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Why are you blocking?  
:'''Shrek''': I'm not blocking! 
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yes you are. 
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm warning you.  
:'''Donkey''': Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?  
:'''Shrek''': Everyone! OKAY?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, now we're getting somewhere! 
:'''Shrek''': Oh, for the love of Pete! 
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
:'''Shrek''': Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go &quot;Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!&quot; They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
:'''Donkey''': You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]''
:'''Fiona''': Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
:'''Donkey''': Why, what's wrong?
:'''Fiona''': Shrek's hurt!
:'''Donkey''': Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm okay!
:'''Donkey''': You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
:'''Fiona''': ''[grabs Donkey]'' Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
:'''Fiona &amp; Shrek''': Donkey!
:'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
:''[runs off]''
:'''Shrek''': What're the flowers for?
:'''Fiona''': For getting rid of Donkey.
:'''Shrek''' : Ah.
:'''Fiona''': Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.

:''[gives the arrow a little pull]''

:'''Shrek''': ''[jumps away]'' Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
:'''Fiona''' : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
:'''Shrek''': No, it's tender.
:'''Fiona''': Now, hold on.
:'''Shrek''': What you're doing is the opposite of help.
:'''Fiona''': Don't move.
:'''Shrek''': Look, time out.
:'''Fiona''': ''[Shrek has his hand on Fiona’s face]'' Would you... ''[grunts]'' Okay. What do you propose we do?
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
:'''Shrek''': ''[screaming]'' Owwww!
:'''Donkey''': [hears Shrek scream] Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! ''[Grabs a blue flower with red thorns from a bush]''
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Not good.
:'''Fiona''': Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. ''[Grunts]'' It's just about...
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': ''[he sees Fiona on top of Shrek]'' Ahem.
:'''Shrek''': Nothing happened…
:''[Fiona falls off]''
:…We were just, uh-
:'''Donkey''': Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
:'''Shrek''': Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just-
:''[Fiona pulls the arrow out]''
:'''Shrek''': Ugh!
:''[he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[hoarsely]'' Ow!
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's that? ''[nervous chuckle]'' That's...is that blood?
:''[faints]''

== See also ==
* ''[[Shrek 2]]''
* ''[[Shrek the Third]]''
* ''[[Shrek Forever After]]''
* [[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|''Puss in Boots'' (2011 film)]]

== Taglines ==
* The greatest fairy tale never told.
* The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]] &amp;ndash; Shrek &amp; Blind Mouse (voice) 
* [[Eddie Murphy]] &amp;ndash; Donkey (voice) 
* [[Cameron Diaz]] &amp;ndash; Princess Fiona (voice) 
* [[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]] &amp;ndash; Lord Farquaad (voice)
* [[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]] &amp;ndash; Monsieur Hood (voice)
* [[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]] &amp; Clive Pearse &amp;ndash; Ogre Hunters (voice)
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] &amp;ndash; Captain of Guards (voice)
* Bobby Block &amp;ndash; Baby Bear (voice)
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] &amp;ndash; Geppetto &amp; Magic Mirror (voice)
* [[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]] &amp;ndash; Pinocchio &amp; Three Pigs (voice)
* [[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]] &amp;ndash; Old Woman (voice)
* [[w:Michael Galasso|Michael Galasso]] &amp;ndash; Peter Pan (voice)
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse &amp; Thelonius (voice)
* [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse (voice)
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] &amp;ndash; Gingerbread Man (voice)
* Jacquie Barnbrook &amp;ndash; Wrestling Fan (voice)
* Guillaume Aretos, John Bisom, Matthew Gonder, Calvin Remsberg &amp; Jean-Paul Vignon &amp;ndash; Merry Men (voice)
* [[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]] &amp;ndash; Bishop (voice)
* [[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]] &amp;ndash; Big Bad Wolf (voice)
* [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] &amp;ndash; Duloc Mascot (voice)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Shrek|Shrek 1]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
      <sha1>nqcfyhotjmm5hp5tf4ny0n6vp6km26h</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154579</id>
      <parentid>3154534</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:54:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>205.237.131.3</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17962" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott|Ted Elliott]] and [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]].'' ''Story by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]] (book)''
{{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Shrek ==
* That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
* Donkey, two things, okay? Shut.... up!

== Donkey ==
* All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

== Dialogue ==
:''[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp]''
:'''First villager''': I think it's in there?
:'''Second Villager''': All right, let's get it!
:'''Third villager''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
:'''Fourth villager''': Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
:'''Shrek''': Really? ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
:'''Fifth villager''': ''[waves his torch in front of Shrek]'' Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously while dropping the unlit torch]'' Right.
:''[Then Shrek roars ferociously until the villagers stop screaming and yelling]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[quietly]'' This is the part where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! &quot;''[he picks up a wanted poster and reads it]'' &quot;Wanted: Fairy Tale Creatures&quot;. ''[rolls his eyes, walks back to the house, and throws the wanted poster as it lands on the ground face up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
:'''Captain''': ''[annoyed and angrily]'' Get her outta my sight!
:'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! ''[Guards took her away]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shrek''': ''[to Donkey]'' WHY...are you following me?
:'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]''
:'Cause I'm all alone.
:There's no one here beside me.
:My problems have all gone.
:There's no one to deride me!
:But ya gotta have friends!
:'''Shrek''': Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
:'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
:'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
:'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall?
:'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, &quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks!&quot; Doesn't that bother you?
:'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope.
:'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really?
:'''Donkey''': Really, really.
:'''Shrek''': Oh.  '''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': ''[looks at a hovel]'' Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
:'''Shrek''': '''''That''''' would be my home.
:'''Donkey''': Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at boulder]'' I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
:'''Shrek''': I like my privacy.
:'''Donkey''': Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay wit you?
:'''Shrek''': Uh, what?!
:'''Donkey''': Can I stay wit you... please?
:'''Shrek''': ''[sarcastically]'' Of course!
:'''Donkey''': Really?
:'''Shrek''': No.
:'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! ''[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
:'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only.
:'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[runs to the chair inside]''
:'''Shrek''': Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
:'''Donkey''': This is gon’ be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
:'''Shrek''': Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep?
:'''Shrek''': Outside!!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]''
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
:'''Dwarf''': Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
:'''Shrek''': Huh?
:''[rushes over to his bed to find...]''
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What?
: '''Shrek''': ''[Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck]'' I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. '''''What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]''
:'''Donkey''': Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
:'''Pinocchio''': Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
:'''Shrek''': What?
:'''Pinocchio''': We were forced to come here!
:'''Shrek''': By who?
:'''Little Pig''': Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
:'''Shrek''': All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is?  '''Donkey''': Oh, I do. I know where he is. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk]'' That's it! All right, that's it! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat]'' ''[playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up]'' Run, run, run, as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
:'''Gingy''': You’re a monster.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': I am not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. ''[crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he says this]'' Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
:'''Gingy''': Eat me!! ''[spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts and straining]'' I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Now, tell me! Tell me, or I'll… ''[reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons]''
:'''Gingy''': No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[shines a lamp on Gingy]'' All right, then, who's hiding them?!
:'''Gingy''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know… the muffin man?
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-Who lives on Drury Lane?
:'''Gingy''': Well, she's married to the muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?!
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man!! 
:'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man.
:''[Door opens]''
:'''Captain''': My lord! We found it.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[arriving at Duloc]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[observing a giant building]'' So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
:'''Donkey''': Uh-huh, that's the place.
:'''Shrek''': Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek enters the tournament]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': What is that? It's hideous!
:'''Shrek''': Well, that's not very nice. ''[gestures to Donkey]'' It's just a donkey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]''
:'''Donkey''': Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
:'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? 
:'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no.
:'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
:'''Donkey''': Example?
:'''Shrek''': Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
:''[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]''
:'''Donkey''': They stink?
:'''Shrek''': Yes... No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, they make you cry?
:'''Shrek''': No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
:'''Shrek''': ''[peels an onion]'' '''''No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.'''''
:''[heaves a sigh and then walks off]''
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have '''''layers'''''. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
:'''Shrek''': I don't '''''care''''' what everyone likes! Ogres are '''''not''''' like '''''cakes'''''!
:'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, &quot;Let's get some parfait,&quot; they say, &quot;Hell no, I don't like no parfait.&quot;? Parfaits are delicious!
:'''Shrek''': No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
:'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
:'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or somethin’? I'm makin’ a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin’.                 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]''
:'''Donkey''': Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin’, don't look down... ''[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey]'' Shrek, I'm lookin’ down!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
:'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
:'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the '''''dragon''''', Shrek.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': Where are you going? The exit's over there!
:'''Shrek''': ''[going to save Donkey]'' Well, I have to save my ass.
:'''Fiona''': ''[shocked]'' What kind of knight '''''are''''' you?!?!?
:'''Shrek''': One of a kind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess!
:'''Fiona''': It talks!
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's gettin’ him to shut up that's the trick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
:'''Fiona''': And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
:'''Shrek''': Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in '''''short''''' supply.
:''[chortles]''
:'''Donkey''': Yeah! There are those who think '''''little''''' of him!
:''[Shrek and Donkey laugh]''
:'''Fiona''': Stop it. Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
:'''Shrek''': [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the &quot;measuring&quot; when you see him tomorrow!
:'''Fiona''': [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
:'''Shrek''': No, that'll take '''''longer'''''.
:'''Fiona''': But there's... robbers in the woods!
:'''Donkey''': [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
:'''Shrek''': Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest--
:'''Fiona''': [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp '''''NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Why are you blocking?  
:'''Shrek''': I'm not blocking! 
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yes you are. 
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm warning you.  
:'''Donkey''': Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?  
:'''Shrek''': Everyone! OKAY?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, now we're getting somewhere! 
:'''Shrek''': Oh, for the love of Pete! 
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
:'''Shrek''': Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go &quot;Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!&quot; They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
:'''Donkey''': You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]''
:'''Fiona''': Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
:'''Donkey''': Why, what's wrong?
:'''Fiona''': Shrek's hurt!
:'''Donkey''': Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm okay!
:'''Donkey''': You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
:'''Fiona''': ''[grabs Donkey]'' Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
:'''Fiona &amp; Shrek''': Donkey!
:'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
:''[runs off]''
:'''Shrek''': What're the flowers for?
:'''Fiona''': For getting rid of Donkey.
:'''Shrek''' : Ah.
:'''Fiona''': Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.

:''[gives the arrow a little pull]''

:'''Shrek''': ''[jumps away]'' Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
:'''Fiona''' : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
:'''Shrek''': No, it's tender.
:'''Fiona''': Now, hold on.
:'''Shrek''': What you're doing is the opposite of help.
:'''Fiona''': Don't move.
:'''Shrek''': Look, time out.
:'''Fiona''': ''[Shrek has his hand on Fiona’s face]'' Would you... ''[grunts]'' Okay. What do you propose we do?
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
:'''Shrek''': ''[screaming]'' Owwww!
:'''Donkey''': [hears Shrek scream] Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! ''[Grabs a blue flower with red thorns from a bush]''
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Not good.
:'''Fiona''': Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. ''[Grunts]'' It's just about...
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': ''[he sees Fiona on top of Shrek]'' Ahem.
:'''Shrek''': Nothing happened…
:''[Fiona falls off]''
:…We were just, uh-
:'''Donkey''': Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
:'''Shrek''': Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just-
:''[Fiona pulls the arrow out]''
:'''Shrek''': Ugh!
:''[he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[hoarsely]'' Ow!
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's that? ''[nervous chuckle]'' That's...is that blood?
:''[faints]''

== See also ==
* ''[[Shrek 2]]''
* ''[[Shrek the Third]]''
* ''[[Shrek Forever After]]''
* [[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|''Puss in Boots'' (2011 film)]]

== Taglines ==
* The greatest fairy tale never told.
* The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]] &amp;ndash; Shrek &amp; Blind Mouse (voice) 
* [[Eddie Murphy]] &amp;ndash; Donkey (voice) 
* [[Cameron Diaz]] &amp;ndash; Princess Fiona (voice) 
* [[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]] &amp;ndash; Lord Farquaad (voice)
* [[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]] &amp;ndash; Monsieur Hood (voice)
* [[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]] &amp; Clive Pearse &amp;ndash; Ogre Hunters (voice)
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] &amp;ndash; Captain of Guards (voice)
* Bobby Block &amp;ndash; Baby Bear (voice)
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] &amp;ndash; Geppetto &amp; Magic Mirror (voice)
* [[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]] &amp;ndash; Pinocchio &amp; Three Pigs (voice)
* [[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]] &amp;ndash; Old Woman (voice)
* [[w:Michael Galasso|Michael Galasso]] &amp;ndash; Peter Pan (voice)
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse &amp; Thelonius (voice)
* [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse (voice)
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] &amp;ndash; Gingerbread Man (voice)
* Jacquie Barnbrook &amp;ndash; Wrestling Fan (voice)
* Guillaume Aretos, John Bisom, Matthew Gonder, Calvin Remsberg &amp; Jean-Paul Vignon &amp;ndash; Merry Men (voice)
* [[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]] &amp;ndash; Bishop (voice)
* [[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]] &amp;ndash; Big Bad Wolf (voice)
* [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] &amp;ndash; Duloc Mascot (voice)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Shrek|Shrek 1]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
      <sha1>11r2bxvfxiwgjry1kuwshu3x3py5v9u</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154580</id>
      <parentid>3154579</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:55:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>205.237.131.3</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17966" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott|Ted Elliott]] and [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]].'' ''Story by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]] (book)''
{{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Shrek ==
* That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
* Donkey, two things, okay? Shut.... up!

== Donkey ==
* All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

== Dialogue ==
:''[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp]''
:'''First villager''': I think it's in there?
:'''Second Villager''': All right, let's get it!
:'''Third villager''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
:'''Fourth villager''': Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
:'''Shrek''': Really? ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
:'''Fifth villager''': ''[waves his torch in front of Shrek]'' Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously while dropping the unlit torch]'' Right.
:''[Then Shrek roars ferociously until the villagers stop screaming and yelling]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[quietly]'' This is the part where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! &quot;''[he picks up a wanted poster and reads it]'' &quot;Wanted: Fairy Tale Creatures&quot;. ''[rolls his eyes, walks back to the house, and throws the wanted poster as it lands on the ground face up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
:'''Captain''': ''[annoyed and angrily]'' Get her outta my sight!
:'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! ''[Guards took her away]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shrek''': ''[to Donkey]'' WHY...are you following me?
:'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]''
:'Cause I'm all alone.
:There's no one here beside me.
:My problems have all gone.
:There's no one to deride me!
:But ya gotta have friends!
:'''Shrek''': Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
:'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
:'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
:'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall?
:'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, &quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks!&quot; Doesn't that bother you?
:'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope.
:'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really?
:'''Donkey''': Really, really.
:'''Shrek''': Oh.  
:'''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': ''[looks at a hovel]'' Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
:'''Shrek''': '''''That''''' would be my home.
:'''Donkey''': Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at boulder]'' I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
:'''Shrek''': I like my privacy.
:'''Donkey''': Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay wit you?
:'''Shrek''': Uh, what?!
:'''Donkey''': Can I stay wit you... please?
:'''Shrek''': ''[sarcastically]'' Of course!
:'''Donkey''': Really?
:'''Shrek''': No.
:'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! ''[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
:'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only.
:'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[runs to the chair inside]''
:'''Shrek''': Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
:'''Donkey''': This is gon’ be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
:'''Shrek''': Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep?
:'''Shrek''': Outside!!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]''
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
:'''Dwarf''': Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
:'''Shrek''': Huh?
:''[rushes over to his bed to find...]''
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What?
: '''Shrek''': ''[Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck]'' I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. '''''What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]''
:'''Donkey''': Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
:'''Pinocchio''': Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
:'''Shrek''': What?
:'''Pinocchio''': We were forced to come here!
:'''Shrek''': By who?
:'''Little Pig''': Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
:'''Shrek''': All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I do. I know where he is. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk]'' That's it! All right, that's it! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat]'' ''[playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up]'' Run, run, run, as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
:'''Gingy''': You’re a monster.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': I am not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. ''[crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he says this]'' Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
:'''Gingy''': Eat me!! ''[spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts and straining]'' I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Now, tell me! Tell me, or I'll… ''[reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons]''
:'''Gingy''': No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[shines a lamp on Gingy]'' All right, then, who's hiding them?!
:'''Gingy''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know… the muffin man?
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-Who lives on Drury Lane?
:'''Gingy''': Well, she's married to the muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?!
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man!! 
:'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man.
:''[Door opens]''
:'''Captain''': My lord! We found it.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[arriving at Duloc]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[observing a giant building]'' So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
:'''Donkey''': Uh-huh, that's the place.
:'''Shrek''': Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek enters the tournament]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': What is that? It's hideous!
:'''Shrek''': Well, that's not very nice. ''[gestures to Donkey]'' It's just a donkey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]''
:'''Donkey''': Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
:'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? 
:'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no.
:'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
:'''Donkey''': Example?
:'''Shrek''': Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
:''[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]''
:'''Donkey''': They stink?
:'''Shrek''': Yes... No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, they make you cry?
:'''Shrek''': No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
:'''Shrek''': ''[peels an onion]'' '''''No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.'''''
:''[heaves a sigh and then walks off]''
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have '''''layers'''''. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
:'''Shrek''': I don't '''''care''''' what everyone likes! Ogres are '''''not''''' like '''''cakes'''''!
:'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, &quot;Let's get some parfait,&quot; they say, &quot;Hell no, I don't like no parfait.&quot;? Parfaits are delicious!
:'''Shrek''': No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
:'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
:'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or somethin’? I'm makin’ a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin’.                 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]''
:'''Donkey''': Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin’, don't look down... ''[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey]'' Shrek, I'm lookin’ down!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
:'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
:'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the '''''dragon''''', Shrek.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': Where are you going? The exit's over there!
:'''Shrek''': ''[going to save Donkey]'' Well, I have to save my ass.
:'''Fiona''': ''[shocked]'' What kind of knight '''''are''''' you?!?!?
:'''Shrek''': One of a kind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess!
:'''Fiona''': It talks!
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's gettin’ him to shut up that's the trick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
:'''Fiona''': And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
:'''Shrek''': Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in '''''short''''' supply.
:''[chortles]''
:'''Donkey''': Yeah! There are those who think '''''little''''' of him!
:''[Shrek and Donkey laugh]''
:'''Fiona''': Stop it. Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
:'''Shrek''': [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the &quot;measuring&quot; when you see him tomorrow!
:'''Fiona''': [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
:'''Shrek''': No, that'll take '''''longer'''''.
:'''Fiona''': But there's... robbers in the woods!
:'''Donkey''': [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
:'''Shrek''': Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest--
:'''Fiona''': [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp '''''NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Why are you blocking?  
:'''Shrek''': I'm not blocking! 
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yes you are. 
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm warning you.  
:'''Donkey''': Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?  
:'''Shrek''': Everyone! OKAY?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, now we're getting somewhere! 
:'''Shrek''': Oh, for the love of Pete! 
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
:'''Shrek''': Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go &quot;Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!&quot; They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
:'''Donkey''': You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]''
:'''Fiona''': Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
:'''Donkey''': Why, what's wrong?
:'''Fiona''': Shrek's hurt!
:'''Donkey''': Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm okay!
:'''Donkey''': You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
:'''Fiona''': ''[grabs Donkey]'' Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
:'''Fiona &amp; Shrek''': Donkey!
:'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
:''[runs off]''
:'''Shrek''': What're the flowers for?
:'''Fiona''': For getting rid of Donkey.
:'''Shrek''' : Ah.
:'''Fiona''': Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.

:''[gives the arrow a little pull]''

:'''Shrek''': ''[jumps away]'' Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
:'''Fiona''' : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
:'''Shrek''': No, it's tender.
:'''Fiona''': Now, hold on.
:'''Shrek''': What you're doing is the opposite of help.
:'''Fiona''': Don't move.
:'''Shrek''': Look, time out.
:'''Fiona''': ''[Shrek has his hand on Fiona’s face]'' Would you... ''[grunts]'' Okay. What do you propose we do?
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
:'''Shrek''': ''[screaming]'' Owwww!
:'''Donkey''': [hears Shrek scream] Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! ''[Grabs a blue flower with red thorns from a bush]''
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Not good.
:'''Fiona''': Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. ''[Grunts]'' It's just about...
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': ''[he sees Fiona on top of Shrek]'' Ahem.
:'''Shrek''': Nothing happened…
:''[Fiona falls off]''
:…We were just, uh-
:'''Donkey''': Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
:'''Shrek''': Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just-
:''[Fiona pulls the arrow out]''
:'''Shrek''': Ugh!
:''[he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[hoarsely]'' Ow!
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's that? ''[nervous chuckle]'' That's...is that blood?
:''[faints]''

== See also ==
* ''[[Shrek 2]]''
* ''[[Shrek the Third]]''
* ''[[Shrek Forever After]]''
* [[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|''Puss in Boots'' (2011 film)]]

== Taglines ==
* The greatest fairy tale never told.
* The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]] &amp;ndash; Shrek &amp; Blind Mouse (voice) 
* [[Eddie Murphy]] &amp;ndash; Donkey (voice) 
* [[Cameron Diaz]] &amp;ndash; Princess Fiona (voice) 
* [[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]] &amp;ndash; Lord Farquaad (voice)
* [[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]] &amp;ndash; Monsieur Hood (voice)
* [[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]] &amp; Clive Pearse &amp;ndash; Ogre Hunters (voice)
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] &amp;ndash; Captain of Guards (voice)
* Bobby Block &amp;ndash; Baby Bear (voice)
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] &amp;ndash; Geppetto &amp; Magic Mirror (voice)
* [[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]] &amp;ndash; Pinocchio &amp; Three Pigs (voice)
* [[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]] &amp;ndash; Old Woman (voice)
* [[w:Michael Galasso|Michael Galasso]] &amp;ndash; Peter Pan (voice)
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse &amp; Thelonius (voice)
* [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse (voice)
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] &amp;ndash; Gingerbread Man (voice)
* Jacquie Barnbrook &amp;ndash; Wrestling Fan (voice)
* Guillaume Aretos, John Bisom, Matthew Gonder, Calvin Remsberg &amp; Jean-Paul Vignon &amp;ndash; Merry Men (voice)
* [[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]] &amp;ndash; Bishop (voice)
* [[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]] &amp;ndash; Big Bad Wolf (voice)
* [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] &amp;ndash; Duloc Mascot (voice)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Shrek|Shrek 1]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
      <sha1>n440osmedt4jolzfpvi0bhqu54hk8ft</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154815</id>
      <parentid>3154580</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T06:00:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AmongUsFanBoy</username>
        <id>3129504</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */At the beginning of the movie.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18094" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott|Ted Elliott]] and [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]].'' ''Story by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]] (book)''
{{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Shrek ==
* That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
* Donkey, two things, okay? Shut.... up!

== Donkey ==
* All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

== Dialogue ==
:''[Shrek takes a shit shower and swallows it before spitting it onto a rock nearby, creating the name &quot;Mike Myers&quot; on it]''
 

:''[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp]''
:'''First villager''': I think it's in there?
:'''Second Villager''': All right, let's get it!
:'''Third villager''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
:'''Fourth villager''': Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
:'''Shrek''': Really? ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
:'''Fifth villager''': ''[waves his torch in front of Shrek]'' Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously while dropping the unlit torch]'' Right.
:''[Then Shrek roars ferociously until the villagers stop screaming and yelling]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[quietly]'' This is the part where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! &quot;''[he picks up a wanted poster and reads it]'' &quot;Wanted: Fairy Tale Creatures&quot;. ''[rolls his eyes, walks back to the house, and throws the wanted poster as it lands on the ground face up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
:'''Captain''': ''[annoyed and angrily]'' Get her outta my sight!
:'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! ''[Guards took her away]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shrek''': ''[to Donkey]'' WHY...are you following me?
:'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]''
:'Cause I'm all alone.
:There's no one here beside me.
:My problems have all gone.
:There's no one to deride me!
:But ya gotta have friends!
:'''Shrek''': Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
:'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
:'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
:'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall?
:'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, &quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks!&quot; Doesn't that bother you?
:'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope.
:'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really?
:'''Donkey''': Really, really.
:'''Shrek''': Oh.  
:'''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': ''[looks at a hovel]'' Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
:'''Shrek''': '''''That''''' would be my home.
:'''Donkey''': Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at boulder]'' I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
:'''Shrek''': I like my privacy.
:'''Donkey''': Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay wit you?
:'''Shrek''': Uh, what?!
:'''Donkey''': Can I stay wit you... please?
:'''Shrek''': ''[sarcastically]'' Of course!
:'''Donkey''': Really?
:'''Shrek''': No.
:'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! ''[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
:'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only.
:'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[runs to the chair inside]''
:'''Shrek''': Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
:'''Donkey''': This is gon’ be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
:'''Shrek''': Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep?
:'''Shrek''': Outside!!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]''
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
:'''Dwarf''': Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
:'''Shrek''': Huh?
:''[rushes over to his bed to find...]''
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What?
: '''Shrek''': ''[Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck]'' I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. '''''What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]''
:'''Donkey''': Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
:'''Pinocchio''': Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
:'''Shrek''': What?
:'''Pinocchio''': We were forced to come here!
:'''Shrek''': By who?
:'''Little Pig''': Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
:'''Shrek''': All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I do. I know where he is. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk]'' That's it! All right, that's it! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat]'' ''[playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up]'' Run, run, run, as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
:'''Gingy''': You’re a monster.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': I am not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. ''[crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he says this]'' Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
:'''Gingy''': Eat me!! ''[spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts and straining]'' I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Now, tell me! Tell me, or I'll… ''[reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons]''
:'''Gingy''': No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[shines a lamp on Gingy]'' All right, then, who's hiding them?!
:'''Gingy''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know… the muffin man?
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-Who lives on Drury Lane?
:'''Gingy''': Well, she's married to the muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?!
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man!! 
:'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man.
:''[Door opens]''
:'''Captain''': My lord! We found it.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[arriving at Duloc]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[observing a giant building]'' So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
:'''Donkey''': Uh-huh, that's the place.
:'''Shrek''': Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek enters the tournament]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': What is that? It's hideous!
:'''Shrek''': Well, that's not very nice. ''[gestures to Donkey]'' It's just a donkey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]''
:'''Donkey''': Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
:'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? 
:'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no.
:'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
:'''Donkey''': Example?
:'''Shrek''': Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
:''[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]''
:'''Donkey''': They stink?
:'''Shrek''': Yes... No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, they make you cry?
:'''Shrek''': No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
:'''Shrek''': ''[peels an onion]'' '''''No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.'''''
:''[heaves a sigh and then walks off]''
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have '''''layers'''''. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
:'''Shrek''': I don't '''''care''''' what everyone likes! Ogres are '''''not''''' like '''''cakes'''''!
:'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, &quot;Let's get some parfait,&quot; they say, &quot;Hell no, I don't like no parfait.&quot;? Parfaits are delicious!
:'''Shrek''': No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
:'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
:'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or somethin’? I'm makin’ a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin’.                 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]''
:'''Donkey''': Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin’, don't look down... ''[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey]'' Shrek, I'm lookin’ down!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
:'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
:'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the '''''dragon''''', Shrek.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': Where are you going? The exit's over there!
:'''Shrek''': ''[going to save Donkey]'' Well, I have to save my ass.
:'''Fiona''': ''[shocked]'' What kind of knight '''''are''''' you?!?!?
:'''Shrek''': One of a kind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess!
:'''Fiona''': It talks!
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's gettin’ him to shut up that's the trick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
:'''Fiona''': And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
:'''Shrek''': Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in '''''short''''' supply.
:''[chortles]''
:'''Donkey''': Yeah! There are those who think '''''little''''' of him!
:''[Shrek and Donkey laugh]''
:'''Fiona''': Stop it. Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
:'''Shrek''': [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the &quot;measuring&quot; when you see him tomorrow!
:'''Fiona''': [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
:'''Shrek''': No, that'll take '''''longer'''''.
:'''Fiona''': But there's... robbers in the woods!
:'''Donkey''': [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
:'''Shrek''': Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest--
:'''Fiona''': [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp '''''NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Why are you blocking?  
:'''Shrek''': I'm not blocking! 
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yes you are. 
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm warning you.  
:'''Donkey''': Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?  
:'''Shrek''': Everyone! OKAY?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, now we're getting somewhere! 
:'''Shrek''': Oh, for the love of Pete! 
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
:'''Shrek''': Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go &quot;Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!&quot; They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
:'''Donkey''': You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]''
:'''Fiona''': Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
:'''Donkey''': Why, what's wrong?
:'''Fiona''': Shrek's hurt!
:'''Donkey''': Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm okay!
:'''Donkey''': You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
:'''Fiona''': ''[grabs Donkey]'' Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
:'''Fiona &amp; Shrek''': Donkey!
:'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
:''[runs off]''
:'''Shrek''': What're the flowers for?
:'''Fiona''': For getting rid of Donkey.
:'''Shrek''' : Ah.
:'''Fiona''': Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.

:''[gives the arrow a little pull]''

:'''Shrek''': ''[jumps away]'' Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
:'''Fiona''' : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
:'''Shrek''': No, it's tender.
:'''Fiona''': Now, hold on.
:'''Shrek''': What you're doing is the opposite of help.
:'''Fiona''': Don't move.
:'''Shrek''': Look, time out.
:'''Fiona''': ''[Shrek has his hand on Fiona’s face]'' Would you... ''[grunts]'' Okay. What do you propose we do?
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
:'''Shrek''': ''[screaming]'' Owwww!
:'''Donkey''': [hears Shrek scream] Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! ''[Grabs a blue flower with red thorns from a bush]''
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Not good.
:'''Fiona''': Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. ''[Grunts]'' It's just about...
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': ''[he sees Fiona on top of Shrek]'' Ahem.
:'''Shrek''': Nothing happened…
:''[Fiona falls off]''
:…We were just, uh-
:'''Donkey''': Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
:'''Shrek''': Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just-
:''[Fiona pulls the arrow out]''
:'''Shrek''': Ugh!
:''[he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[hoarsely]'' Ow!
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's that? ''[nervous chuckle]'' That's...is that blood?
:''[faints]''

== See also ==
* ''[[Shrek 2]]''
* ''[[Shrek the Third]]''
* ''[[Shrek Forever After]]''
* [[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|''Puss in Boots'' (2011 film)]]

== Taglines ==
* The greatest fairy tale never told.
* The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]] &amp;ndash; Shrek &amp; Blind Mouse (voice) 
* [[Eddie Murphy]] &amp;ndash; Donkey (voice) 
* [[Cameron Diaz]] &amp;ndash; Princess Fiona (voice) 
* [[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]] &amp;ndash; Lord Farquaad (voice)
* [[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]] &amp;ndash; Monsieur Hood (voice)
* [[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]] &amp; Clive Pearse &amp;ndash; Ogre Hunters (voice)
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] &amp;ndash; Captain of Guards (voice)
* Bobby Block &amp;ndash; Baby Bear (voice)
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] &amp;ndash; Geppetto &amp; Magic Mirror (voice)
* [[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]] &amp;ndash; Pinocchio &amp; Three Pigs (voice)
* [[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]] &amp;ndash; Old Woman (voice)
* [[w:Michael Galasso|Michael Galasso]] &amp;ndash; Peter Pan (voice)
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse &amp; Thelonius (voice)
* [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse (voice)
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] &amp;ndash; Gingerbread Man (voice)
* Jacquie Barnbrook &amp;ndash; Wrestling Fan (voice)
* Guillaume Aretos, John Bisom, Matthew Gonder, Calvin Remsberg &amp; Jean-Paul Vignon &amp;ndash; Merry Men (voice)
* [[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]] &amp;ndash; Bishop (voice)
* [[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]] &amp;ndash; Big Bad Wolf (voice)
* [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] &amp;ndash; Duloc Mascot (voice)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Shrek|Shrek 1]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
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      <parentid>3154815</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:41:01Z</timestamp>
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        <id>2903131</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:AmongUsFanBoy|AmongUsFanBoy]] ([[User talk:AmongUsFanBoy|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/AmongUsFanBoy|contributions]]) to last version by 205.237.131.3</comment>
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      <text bytes="17966" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott|Ted Elliott]] and [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]].'' ''Story by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]] (book)''
{{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Shrek ==
* That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
* Donkey, two things, okay? Shut.... up!

== Donkey ==
* All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

== Dialogue ==
:''[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp]''
:'''First villager''': I think it's in there?
:'''Second Villager''': All right, let's get it!
:'''Third villager''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
:'''Fourth villager''': Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
:'''Shrek''': Really? ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
:'''Fifth villager''': ''[waves his torch in front of Shrek]'' Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously while dropping the unlit torch]'' Right.
:''[Then Shrek roars ferociously until the villagers stop screaming and yelling]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[quietly]'' This is the part where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! &quot;''[he picks up a wanted poster and reads it]'' &quot;Wanted: Fairy Tale Creatures&quot;. ''[rolls his eyes, walks back to the house, and throws the wanted poster as it lands on the ground face up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
:'''Captain''': ''[annoyed and angrily]'' Get her outta my sight!
:'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! ''[Guards took her away]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shrek''': ''[to Donkey]'' WHY...are you following me?
:'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]''
:'Cause I'm all alone.
:There's no one here beside me.
:My problems have all gone.
:There's no one to deride me!
:But ya gotta have friends!
:'''Shrek''': Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
:'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
:'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
:'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall?
:'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, &quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks!&quot; Doesn't that bother you?
:'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope.
:'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really?
:'''Donkey''': Really, really.
:'''Shrek''': Oh.  
:'''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': ''[looks at a hovel]'' Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
:'''Shrek''': '''''That''''' would be my home.
:'''Donkey''': Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at boulder]'' I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
:'''Shrek''': I like my privacy.
:'''Donkey''': Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay wit you?
:'''Shrek''': Uh, what?!
:'''Donkey''': Can I stay wit you... please?
:'''Shrek''': ''[sarcastically]'' Of course!
:'''Donkey''': Really?
:'''Shrek''': No.
:'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! ''[slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
:'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only.
:'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[runs to the chair inside]''
:'''Shrek''': Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
:'''Donkey''': This is gon’ be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
:'''Shrek''': Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep?
:'''Shrek''': Outside!!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]''
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
:'''Dwarf''': Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
:'''Shrek''': Huh?
:''[rushes over to his bed to find...]''
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What?
: '''Shrek''': ''[Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck]'' I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. '''''What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]''
:'''Donkey''': Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
:'''Pinocchio''': Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
:'''Shrek''': What?
:'''Pinocchio''': We were forced to come here!
:'''Shrek''': By who?
:'''Little Pig''': Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
:'''Shrek''': All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I do. I know where he is. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk]'' That's it! All right, that's it! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat]'' ''[playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up]'' Run, run, run, as fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
:'''Gingy''': You’re a monster.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': I am not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. ''[crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he says this]'' Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
:'''Gingy''': Eat me!! ''[spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts and straining]'' I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Now, tell me! Tell me, or I'll… ''[reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons]''
:'''Gingy''': No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
:'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[shines a lamp on Gingy]'' All right, then, who's hiding them?!
:'''Gingy''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know… the muffin man?
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-Who lives on Drury Lane?
:'''Gingy''': Well, she's married to the muffin man.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?!
:'''Gingy''': The muffin man!! 
:'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man.
:''[Door opens]''
:'''Captain''': My lord! We found it.
:'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[arriving at Duloc]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[observing a giant building]'' So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
:'''Donkey''': Uh-huh, that's the place.
:'''Shrek''': Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek enters the tournament]''
:'''Lord Farquaad''': What is that? It's hideous!
:'''Shrek''': Well, that's not very nice. ''[gestures to Donkey]'' It's just a donkey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]''
:'''Donkey''': Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
:'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip.
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? 
:'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no.
:'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
:'''Donkey''': Example?
:'''Shrek''': Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
:''[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]''
:'''Donkey''': They stink?
:'''Shrek''': Yes... No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, they make you cry?
:'''Shrek''': No!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
:'''Shrek''': ''[peels an onion]'' '''''No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.'''''
:''[heaves a sigh and then walks off]''
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have '''''layers'''''. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
:'''Shrek''': I don't '''''care''''' what everyone likes! Ogres are '''''not''''' like '''''cakes'''''!
:'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, &quot;Let's get some parfait,&quot; they say, &quot;Hell no, I don't like no parfait.&quot;? Parfaits are delicious!
:'''Shrek''': No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
:'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
:'''Shrek''': Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
:'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or somethin’? I'm makin’ a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin’.                 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]''
:'''Donkey''': Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin’, don't look down... ''[a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey]'' Shrek, I'm lookin’ down!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
:'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
:'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the '''''dragon''''', Shrek.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': Where are you going? The exit's over there!
:'''Shrek''': ''[going to save Donkey]'' Well, I have to save my ass.
:'''Fiona''': ''[shocked]'' What kind of knight '''''are''''' you?!?!?
:'''Shrek''': One of a kind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess!
:'''Fiona''': It talks!
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's gettin’ him to shut up that's the trick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fiona''': The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
:'''Fiona''': And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
:'''Shrek''': Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in '''''short''''' supply.
:''[chortles]''
:'''Donkey''': Yeah! There are those who think '''''little''''' of him!
:''[Shrek and Donkey laugh]''
:'''Fiona''': Stop it. Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
:'''Shrek''': [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the &quot;measuring&quot; when you see him tomorrow!
:'''Fiona''': [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
:'''Shrek''': No, that'll take '''''longer'''''.
:'''Fiona''': But there's... robbers in the woods!
:'''Donkey''': [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
:'''Shrek''': Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest--
:'''Fiona''': [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp '''''NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donkey''': Why are you blocking?  
:'''Shrek''': I'm not blocking! 
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yes you are. 
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm warning you.  
:'''Donkey''': Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?  
:'''Shrek''': Everyone! OKAY?  
:'''Donkey''': Oh, now we're getting somewhere! 
:'''Shrek''': Oh, for the love of Pete! 
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
:'''Shrek''': Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go &quot;Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!&quot; They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
:'''Donkey''': You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]''
:'''Fiona''': Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
:'''Donkey''': Why, what's wrong?
:'''Fiona''': Shrek's hurt!
:'''Donkey''': Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, I'm okay!
:'''Donkey''': You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
:'''Fiona''': ''[grabs Donkey]'' Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
:'''Fiona &amp; Shrek''': Donkey!
:'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
:''[runs off]''
:'''Shrek''': What're the flowers for?
:'''Fiona''': For getting rid of Donkey.
:'''Shrek''' : Ah.
:'''Fiona''': Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.

:''[gives the arrow a little pull]''

:'''Shrek''': ''[jumps away]'' Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
:'''Fiona''' : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
:'''Shrek''': No, it's tender.
:'''Fiona''': Now, hold on.
:'''Shrek''': What you're doing is the opposite of help.
:'''Fiona''': Don't move.
:'''Shrek''': Look, time out.
:'''Fiona''': ''[Shrek has his hand on Fiona’s face]'' Would you... ''[grunts]'' Okay. What do you propose we do?
:'''Donkey''': Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
:'''Shrek''': ''[screaming]'' Owwww!
:'''Donkey''': [hears Shrek scream] Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! ''[Grabs a blue flower with red thorns from a bush]''
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Not good.
:'''Fiona''': Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. ''[Grunts]'' It's just about...
:'''Shrek''': Ow! Ohh!
:'''Donkey''': ''[he sees Fiona on top of Shrek]'' Ahem.
:'''Shrek''': Nothing happened…
:''[Fiona falls off]''
:…We were just, uh-
:'''Donkey''': Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
:'''Shrek''': Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just-
:''[Fiona pulls the arrow out]''
:'''Shrek''': Ugh!
:''[he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]''
:'''Shrek''': ''[hoarsely]'' Ow!
:'''Donkey''': Hey, what's that? ''[nervous chuckle]'' That's...is that blood?
:''[faints]''

== See also ==
* ''[[Shrek 2]]''
* ''[[Shrek the Third]]''
* ''[[Shrek Forever After]]''
* [[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|''Puss in Boots'' (2011 film)]]

== Taglines ==
* The greatest fairy tale never told.
* The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]] &amp;ndash; Shrek &amp; Blind Mouse (voice) 
* [[Eddie Murphy]] &amp;ndash; Donkey (voice) 
* [[Cameron Diaz]] &amp;ndash; Princess Fiona (voice) 
* [[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]] &amp;ndash; Lord Farquaad (voice)
* [[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]] &amp;ndash; Monsieur Hood (voice)
* [[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]] &amp; Clive Pearse &amp;ndash; Ogre Hunters (voice)
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] &amp;ndash; Captain of Guards (voice)
* Bobby Block &amp;ndash; Baby Bear (voice)
* [[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]] &amp;ndash; Geppetto &amp; Magic Mirror (voice)
* [[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]] &amp;ndash; Pinocchio &amp; Three Pigs (voice)
* [[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]] &amp;ndash; Old Woman (voice)
* [[w:Michael Galasso|Michael Galasso]] &amp;ndash; Peter Pan (voice)
* [[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse &amp; Thelonius (voice)
* [[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]] &amp;ndash; Blind Mouse (voice)
* [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] &amp;ndash; Gingerbread Man (voice)
* Jacquie Barnbrook &amp;ndash; Wrestling Fan (voice)
* Guillaume Aretos, John Bisom, Matthew Gonder, Calvin Remsberg &amp; Jean-Paul Vignon &amp;ndash; Merry Men (voice)
* [[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]] &amp;ndash; Bishop (voice)
* [[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]] &amp;ndash; Big Bad Wolf (voice)
* [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] &amp;ndash; Duloc Mascot (voice)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Shrek|Shrek 1]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Films about royalty]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Vladimir Lenin</title>
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      <text bytes="190957" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Portrait of Lenin.jpg|thumb|right|Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in ancient Greek republics: Freedom for slave owners.]]
'''[[w:Vladimir Lenin|Vladimir Ilyich Lenin]]''' ([[w:Russian language|Russian]]: Владимир Ильич Ленин), born '''Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov''' ([[w:Russian language|Russian]]: Влади́мир Ильи́ч Ульянов) ([[22 April]] [[1870]] (10 April ([[w:Old Style and New Style dates|O.S.]])) – [[21 January]] [[1924]]) was a [[w:Russia|Russia]]n [[w:revolutionary|revolutionary]], the leader of the [[w:Bolshevik|Bolshevik]] communist party, the first [[w:Premier of the Soviet Union|Premier of the Soviet Union]] and the main [[theorist]] of [[w:Leninism|Leninism]].

== Quotes ==
[[File:Irakli Gamrekeli. Vladimir Lenin. 1924.jpg|thumb|The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class shall represent and repress them in parliament!]]
[[File:Vladimir Lenin 1 May 1920 by Isaak Brodsky.jpg|thumb|Pacifism, the preaching of peace in the abstract, is one of the means of duping the working class.]]
[[File:1991_coup_attempt1.jpg|thumb|right|In the sea of people we are after all but a drop in the ocean, and we can administer only when we express correctly what the people are conscious of. Unless we do this the Communist Party will not lead the proletariat, the proletariat will not lead the masses, and the whole machine will collapse.]]
[[File:Lenin dibujo 1901.jpg|thumb|right|Hang (and make sure that the hanging takes place in full view of the people) no fewer than one hundred known landlords, rich men, bloodsuckers. … Do it in such a fashion that for hundreds of kilometres around the people might see, tremble, know, shout: &quot;they are strangling, and will strangle to death, the bloodsucking kulaks&quot;.]]

=== ''[[w:The Development of Capitalism in Russia|The Development of Capitalism in Russia]]'' (1899)===

*The progressive historical role of capitalism may be summed up in two brief propositions: increase in the productive forces of social labour, and the socialisation of that labour. But both these facts manifest themselves in extremely diverse processes in different branches of the national economy. 
**Chapter Eight

*Perhaps the profoundest cause of disagreement with the Narodniks is the difference in our fundamental views on social and economic processes. When studying the latter, the Narodnik usually draws conclusions that point to some moral; he does not regard the diverse groups of persons taking part in production as creators of various forms of life; he does not set out to present the sum-total of social and economic relationships as the result of the mutual relations between these groups, which have different interests and different historical roles.

*If the writer of these lines has succeeded in providing some material for clarifying these problems, he may regard his labours as not having been fruitless.

=== 1900s ===
[[File:Brodski lenin.jpg|thumb|right|Not a handful of rich people, but all the working people must enjoy the fruits of their common labour.]]
[[File:Lenin (Petrov-Vodkin).jpg|thumb|right| Everyone is free to write and say whatever he likes, without any restrictions... [but the party] would inevitably break up, first ideologically and then physically, if it did not cleanse itself of people advocating anti-party views.]]
[[File:October_film_Lenin.jpg|thumb|right|No mercy for these enemies of the people, the enemies of socialism, the enemies of the working people! War to the death against the rich and their hangers-on, the bourgeois intellectuals; war on the rogues, the idlers and the rowdies!]]
* To accept anything on trust, to preclude critical application and development, is a grievous sin; and in order to apply and develop, “simple interpretation” is obviously not enough.
** {{Citation | url = http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1900/mar/x01.htm | contribution = Uncritical Criticism | month = January–March | origyear = 1900 | title = Collected Works | volume = 3 | nopp = yes | last = Lenin | first = Vladimir Ilich | publisher = Marxists}}.

* The Congress decisively rejects terrorism, i.e., the system of individual political assassinations, as being a method of political struggle which is most inexpedient at the present time, diverting the best forces from the urgent and imperatively necessary work of organisation and agitation, destroying contact between the revolutionaries and the masses of the revolutionary classes of the population, and spreading both among the revolutionaries themselves and the population in general utterly distorted ideas of the aims and methods of struggle against the autocracy.
** {{Citation | url = http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1903/2ndcong/5.htm | contribution = Second Congress of the RSDLP: Drafts of Minor Resolutions | month = July–August | origyear = 1903 | title = Collected Works | volume = 6 | nopp = yes | last = Lenin | first = Vladimir Ilich | publisher = Marxists}}.

* We want to achieve a new and better order of society: in this new and better society there must be neither rich nor poor; all will have to work. Not a handful of rich people, but all the working people must enjoy the fruits of their common labour. Machines and other improvements must serve to ease the work of all and not to enable a few to grow rich at the expense of millions and tens of millions of people. This new and better society is called ''socialist society''. The teachings about this society are called ''[[socialism]]''.
** {{Citation | url = http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1903/rp/1.htm | contribution = To the Rural Poor | origyear = 1903 | title = Collected Works | volume = 6 | page = 366 | last = Lenin | first = Vladimir Ilich | publisher = Marxists}}.

* Notwithstanding all the differences in the aims and tasks of the [[Russian revolution]], compared with the French revolution of 1871, the Russian [[proletariat]] had to resort to the same method of struggle as that first used by the {{w|Paris Commune}} — civil war. Mindful of the lessons of the Commune, it knew that the proletariat should not ignore peaceful methods of struggle — they serve its ordinary, day-to-day interests, they are necessary in periods of preparation for revolution — but it must never forget that in certain conditions the class struggle assumes the form of armed conflict and civil war; there are times when the interests of the proletariat call for ruthless extermination of its enemies in open armed clashes.
** [http://www.marx.org/archive/lenin/works/1908/mar/23.htm “Lessons of the Commune”, in ''Zagranichnaya Gazeta'', No. 2 (23 March 1908)], as translated by Bernard Isaacs, ''Collected Works'', Vol. 13, p. 478.

* It is necessary to be able to withstand all this, to agree to any and every sacrifice, and even—if need be—to resort to all sorts of stratagems, manoeuvres and illegal methods, to evasion and subterfuges in order to penetrate the trade unions, to remain in them, and to carry on Communist work in them at all costs.
** Reported in &quot;'Left-Wing' Communism, An Infantile Disorder&quot;, ''V. I. Lenin; Selected Works'' (1938), vol. 10, p. 95.

==== The Two Tactics of Social Democracy (1905) ====
*Only the most ignorant people can close their eyes to the bourgeois nature of the {{w|democratic revolution}} which is now taking place. Whoever wants to reach socialism by any other path than that of political democracy will inevitably arrive at conclusions that are absurd and reactionary both in the economic and the political sense.
**&quot;Two Tactics of Social Democracy in the Democratic Revolution&quot;

==== One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (1904) ====
*In its struggle for power the proletariat has no other weapon but organisation. Disunited by the rule of anarchic competition in the bourgeois world, ground down by forced labour for capital, constantly thrust back to the 'lower depths' of utter destitution, savagery, and degeneration, the proletariat can, and inevitably will become an invincible force only through its ideological unification on the principles of Marxism being reinforced by the material unity of organisation, which welds millions of toilers into an army of the working class. 
**''Lenin Anthology'', pp. 119

*One step forward, two steps back. ... It happens in the lives of individuals, and it happens in the history of nations and in the development of parties. It would be the most criminal cowardice to doubt even for a moment the inevitable and complete triumph of the principle of revolutionary Social-Democracy, of proletarian organization and Party discipline. We have already won a great deal, and we must go on fighting, undismayed by reverses, fighting steadfastly, scorning the philistine methods of circle wrangling, doing our very utmost to preserve the hard-won single Party tie linking all Russian Social-Democrats, and striving by dint of persistent and systematic work to give all Party members, and the workers in particular, a full and conscious understanding of the duties of Party members, of the struggle and Second Party Congress, of all the causes and all the stages of our divergence, and of the utter and disastrousness of opportunism., which, in the sphere of our programme and our tactics, helplessly surrenders to the bourgeois psychology, uncritically adopts the point of view of bourgeois democracy, and blunts the weapon of the class struggle of the proletariat. 
**Lenin Anthology, p. 119

==== Party Organization and Party Literature (1905) ====
*'''There can be no real and effective “freedom” in a society based on the power of money, in a society in which the masses of working people live in poverty and the handful of rich live like parasites'''. Are you free in relation to your bourgeois publisher, Mr. Writer, in relation to your bourgeois public, which demands that you provide it with pornography in frames and paintings, and prostitution as a “supplement” to “sacred” scenic art? This absolute freedom is a bourgeois or an anarchist phrase (since, as a world outlook, anarchism is bourgeois philosophy turned inside out). '''One cannot live in society and be free from society.''' The freedom of the bourgeois writer, artist or actress is simply masked (or hypocritically masked) dependence on the money-bag, on corruption, on prostitution.
**Lenin Anthology, 151

*In contradictions to bourgeois customs, to the profit-making, commercialised bourgeois press, to bourgeois litarry careerism and individualism, &quot;aristocratic anarchism&quot; and drive for profit, the socialist proletariat must put forward the principle of ''Party literature'', must develop this principle and put it into practise as fully and completely as possible.
**''Lenin Anthology,'' p. 149

* '''Everyone is free to write and say whatever he likes, without any restrictions. But every voluntary association (including the party) is also free to expel members who use the name of the party to advocate anti-party views. Freedom of speech and the press must be complete. But then freedom of association must be complete too. I am bound to accord you, in the name of free speech, the full right to shout, lie and write to your heart's content. But you are bound to grant me, in the name of freedom of association, the right to enter into, or withdraw from, association with people advocating this or that view. The party is a voluntary association, which would inevitably break up, first ideologically and then physically, if it did not cleanse itself of people advocating anti-party views.'''
** {{Citation | url = http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1905/nov/13.htm | title = Party Organisation and Party Literature | newspaper = Novaya Zhizn | number = 12 | date = 13 November 1905 | nopp = yes | last = Lenin | first = Vladimir Ilich | publisher = Marxists}}.

===''[[w:What is to be Done?|What is to be Done?]]'' (1902)===
[[File: Klinom_Krasnim_by_El_Lisitskiy_(1920).jpg|thumb|right|History has now confronted us with an immediate task which is the most revolutionary of all the immediate tasks confronting the proletariat of any country. The fulfilment of this task, the destruction of the most powerful bulwark]]
*We are marching in a compact group along a precipitous and difficult path, firmly holding each other by the hand. We are surrounded on all sides by enemies and are under their almost constant fire. We have combined voluntarily, precisely for the purpose of fighting the enemy, and not to retreat into the adjacent marsh, the inhabitants of which, from the very outset, have reproached us with having separated ourselves into a an exclusive group and with having chosen the path of struggle instead of the path of conciliation.
**Chapter One, A. &quot;What is 'Freedom of Criticism'?&quot;, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Without a revolutionary theory there can be no revolutionary movement. This cannot be insisted upon too strongly at a time when the fashionable preaching of opportunism is combined with absorption in the narrowest forms of practical activity. 
**Chapter One, Section D, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Class consciousness can be brought to the workers ''only from without'', that is, only outside of the economic struggle, outside of the sphere of relations between workers and employers. The sphere from which alone it is possible to obtain this knowledge is the phere of relationships between ''all'' the various classes and strata and the state and the government-the sphere of the interrelations between ''all'' the various classes. 
**Chapter Three, Section D, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*To Bring political knowledge to the ''workers'' the Social-Democratss must ''go among all classes of the population'', must dispatch units of their army ''in all directions''
**Chapter Three, Section D, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*The only platform from which ''public'' exposures can be made is an all-Russian newspaper. &quot;Without a political organ, a political movement deserving that name is inconceivable in modern Europe.&quot;In this connection Russia must undoubtedly by included in modern Europe. The press has long ago become a power in our country, otherwise the government would not spend tens of thousands of rubles to bribe it, and to subsidize the Katkovs and Meshcherskys. And it is no novelty in autocratic Russia for the underground press to break through the wall of sponsorship and ''compel'' the legal and conservative press to speak openly of it. 
**Chapter Three, Section E, '' Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Hence, political exposure in themselves serve as a powerful instrument for '' disintegrating'' the system we oppose, the means for diverting from he enemy his casual or temporary allies, the means for spreading enmity and distrust among those who permanently share power with the autocracy.
**Chapter Three, Section E, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966) 

*The Social-Democrat's ideal should not be a trade union secretary. but ''a tribune of the people'', able to react to every manifestation of tyranny and oppression, no matter where it takes place, no matter what stratum or class of the people it affects; he must be able to group all these manifestations  into a single picture of police violence and capitalist exploitation; he must be able to take advantage of every petty event in order to explain his socialistic convictions and his Social-Democratic demands '' to all'', in order to explain to ''all'' and every the world-historic significance of the struggle for the emancipation of the proletariat. 
**Chapter Three, Section E, '' Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*We must '&quot;go among all classes of the people&quot; as theoreticians, as propagandists, as agitators and as organizers. 
**Chapter Three, Section E, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966) 
*Doing all this does not at all mean forgetting that in the long run the legalisation of the working-class movement will be, to our advantage, and not to that of the Zubatovs. On the contrary, it is precisely our campaign of exposure that will help us to separate the tares from the wheat. What the tares are, we have already indicated. By the wheat we mean attracting the attention of ever larger numbers, including the most backward sections, of the workers to social and political questions, and freeing ourselves, the revolutionaries, from functions that are essentially legal (the distribution of legal books, mutual aid, etc.), the development of which will inevitably provide us with an increasing quantity of material for agitation. In this sense, we may, and should, say to the Zubatovs and the Ozerovs: Keep at it, gentlemen, do your best! Whenever you place a trap in the path of the workers (either by way of direct provocation, or by the “honest” demoralisation of the workers with the aid of “Struvism”) we will see to it that you are exposed. But whenever you take a real step forward, though it be the most “timid zigzag”, we will say: Please continue! And the only step that can be a real step forward is a real, if small, extension of the workers' field of action. Every such extension will be to our advantage and will help to hasten the advent of legal societies of the kind in which it will not be agents provocateurs who are detecting socialists, but socialists who are gaining adherents. in a word, our task is to fight the tares. It is not our business to grow wheat in flower-pots. By pulling up the tares, we clear the soil for the wheat. And while the Afanasy Ivanoviches and Pulkheria Ivanovnas are tending their flower-pot crops, '''we must prepare the reapers, not only to cut down the tares of today, but to reap the wheat of tomorrow.'''
**Chapter Four

*'''One may become a demagogue out of sheer political innocence.'''
**Chapter Four

*'''The only serious organizational principle the active workers of our movement can accept is strict secrecy, strict selection of members and the training of professional revolutionaries.''' 
**Chapter Four, Section E, ''Essential Lenin''

*It would be a great mistake to believe that because it is impossible to establish real &quot;democratic&quot; control, the members of the revolutionary organization will remain altogether uncontrolled. They have not the time to think about he toy forms of democracy..., but they have a lively sense of their ''responsibility'', because hey know from experience that an organization of real revolutionaries will stop at nothing to rid itself of an undesirable member. 
**Chapter Four, Section E, ''Essential Lenin''

*In the history of modern socialism this is a phenomenon, that the strife of the various trends within the socialist movement has from national become international.

*If democracy, in essence, means the abolition of class domination, then why should not a socialist minister charm the whole bourgeois world by orations on class collaboration?
*Those who are really convinced that they have made progress in science would not demand freedom for the new views to continue side by side with the old, but the substitution of the new views for the old.

*We are marching in a compact group along a precipitous and difficult path, firmly holding each other by the hand. We are surrounded on all sides by enemies, and we have to advance almost constantly under their fire. We have combined, by a freely adopted decision, for the purpose of fighting the enemy, and not of retreating into the neighbouring marsh, the inhabitants of which, from the very outset, have reproached us with having separated ourselves into an exclusive group and with having chosen the path of struggle instead of the path of conciliation. And now some among us begin to cry out: Let us go into the marsh! And when we begin to shame them, they retort: What backward people you are! Are you not ashamed to deny us the liberty to invite you to take a better road! Oh, yes, gentlemen! You are free not only to invite us, but to go yourselves wherever you will, even into the marsh. In fact, we think that the marsh is your proper place, and we are prepared to render you every assistance to get there. Only let go of our hands, don't clutch at us and don't besmirch the grand word freedom, for we too are “free” to go where we please, free to fight not only against the marsh, but also against those who are turning towards the marsh! 

*In a country ruled by an autocracy, with a completely enslaved press, in a period of desperate political reaction in which even the tiniest outgrowth of political discontent and protest is persecuted, the theory of revolutionary Marxism suddenly forced its way into the censored literature before the government realised what had happened and the unwieldy army of censors and gendarmes discovered the new enemy and flung itself upon him. 

*This fear of criticism displayed by the advocates of freedom of criticism cannot be attributed solely to craftiness. No, the majority of the Economists look with sincere resentment upon all theoretical controversies, factional disagreements, broad political questions, plans for organising revolutionaries, etc.

*History has now confronted us with an immediate task which is the most revolutionary of all the immediate tasks confronting the proletariat of any country. The fulfilment of this task, the destruction of the most powerful bulwark, not only of European, but (it may now be said) of Asiatic reaction, would make the Russian proletariat the vanguard of the international revolutionary proletariat. And we have the right to count upon acquiring this honourable title, already earned by our predecessors, the revolutionaries of the seventies, if we succeed in inspiring our movement, which is a thousand times broader and deeper, with the same devoted determination and vigour.

*To belittle the socialist ideology ''in any way, to turn aside from it in the slightest degree'' means to strengthen bourgeois ideology. There is much talk of spontaneity. But the spontaneous development of the working-class movement leads to its subordination to bourgeois ideology; for the spontaneous working-class movement is trade-unionism, and trade unionism means the ideological enslavement of the workers by the bourgeoisie. Hence, our task, the task of Social-Democracy, is to combat spontaneity, to divert the working-class movement from this spontaneous, trade-unionist striving to come under the wing of the bourgeoisie, and to bring it under the wing of revolutionary Social Democracy.

*Revolutionary Social-Democracy has always included the struggle for reforms as part of its activities. But it utilises “economic” agitation for the purpose of presenting to the government, not only demands for all sorts of measures, but also (and primarily) the demand that it cease to be an autocratic government.

*A basic condition for the necessary expansion of political agitation is the organisation of comprehensive political exposure.

*It is particularly necessary to arouse in all who participate in practical work, or are preparing to take up that work, discontent with the amateurism prevailing among us and an unshakable determination to rid ourselves of it.

*This struggle must be organised, according to “all the rules of the art”, by people who are professionally engaged in revolutionary activity. 

*A newspaper is not only a collective propagandist and a collective agitator, it is also a collective organiser.

=== ''Materialism and Empirio-Criticism'' (1908) ===
[[File:Badge_of_the_Supreme_Soviet_of_the_Soviet_Union.svg|thumb|right|The Soviets are a new state apparatus which, in the first place, provides an armed force of workers and peasants; and this force is not divorced from the people, as was the old standing army, but is very closely bound up with the people, From the military point of view this force is incomparably more powerful than previous forces; from the revolutionary point of view, it cannot be replaced by anything else.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1908/mec/index.htm Full text online]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 14&lt;/small&gt;

* The ''sole'' &quot;property&quot; of matter with whose recognition philosophical [[materialism]] is bound up is the property of being an objective reality, of existing outside the mind.

* Human thought by its nature is capable of giving, and does give, absolute truth, which is compounded of a sum-total of relative truths.

* The reflection of nature in man's thought must be understood not lifelessly but in the eternal process of movement, the arising of contradictions and their solution.

* Human reason has discovered many amazing things in nature and will discover still more, and will thereby increase its power over nature.

* If the world is eternally moving and developing matter (as the Marxists think), reflected by the developing human consciousness, what is there “static” here? The point at issue is not the immutable essence of things, or an immutable consciousness, but the ''correspondence'' between the consciousness which reflects nature and the nature which is reflected by consciousness.

* [[Materialism]] is the recognition of &quot;objects in themselves&quot;, or outside the mind; ideas and sensations are copies of images of those objects.

* Sensation is a subjective image of the objective world.&lt;!-- ** p. 116 --&gt;

* To be a materialist is to acknowledge objective truth, which is revealed to us by our sense organs. &lt;!-- ** p. 130 --&gt;

=== 1910s ===
[[File:Boris vladimirski lenin in red dawn.jpg|thumb|right|People always have been the foolish victims of deception and self-deception in politics, and they always will be, until they have learned to seek out the interests of some class or other behind all moral, religious, political and social phrases, declarations and promises. &lt;!-- 1913 --&gt;]]
[[File:Lenin-Silhoutte.svg|thumb|right|Man's consciousness not only reflects the objective world, but creates it. &lt;!-- December 1914 --&gt;]]
[[File:Kustodiev The Bolshevik.jpg|thumb|right|The Bolsheviks will do everything to secure this peaceful development of the revolution. &lt;!-- September 1917 --&gt;]]
[[File:Lenin-poster.jpg|thumb|right|Victory will belong only to those who have faith in the people, those who are immersed in the life-giving spring of popular creativity. &lt;!-- Nov 1917 --&gt;]]
[[File:Brodskiy's Lenin.jpg|thumb|right|We shall not bind ourselves by treaties. We shall not allow ourselves to be entangled by treaties. &lt;!-- 8 November 1917 --&gt;]]

[[File:Lénine mosaïque.jpg|thumb|right|When violence is exercised by the working people, by the mass of exploited against the exploiters — then we are for it! &lt;!-- 24 January 1918 --&gt;]]

* How “troublesome”! cried the liberal pig, which deems itself educated, but in fact is dirty, repulsive, overfat and smug...
**[https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1912/sep/09.htm 'Yet Another Anti-Democratic Campaign', ''Pravda'', Nos. 24 and 25 (2 and 9 September 1912)]

* What caused the war? The greed of the Italian money bags and capitalists, who need new markets and new achievements for Italian imperialism. What kind of war was it? A perfected, civilised blood bath, the massacre of Arabs with the help of the “latest” weapons.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1912/sep/28.htm &quot;The End of the Italo-Turkish War&quot; in ''Pravda'', No. 129 (28 September 1912)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 18.

*This so-called bipartisan system prevailing in America and Britain has been one of the most powerful means of preventing the rise of an independent working-class, i.e., genuinely socialist, party.
** [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1912/nov/09.htm The Results and Significance of the U.S. Presidential Elections] (November 1912)

* Throughout the civilised world the teachings of Marx evoke the utmost hostility and hatred of all bourgeois science (both official and liberal), which regards Marxism as a kind of “pernicious sect”. And no other attitude is to be expected, for there can be no “impartial” social science in a society based on class struggle. In one way or another, ''all'' official and liberal science ''defends'' [[wage]]-slavery, whereas Marxism has declared relentless war on that slavery. To expect science to be impartial in a wage-slave society is as foolishly naïve as to expect impartiality from manufacturers on the question of whether workers' wages ought not to be increased by decreasing the profits of capital.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1913/mar/x01.htm The Three Sources and Three Component Parts of Marxism] (March 1913)

* Political institutions are a superstructure on the economic foundation.
** The Three Sources and Three Constituent Parts of Marxism (March 1913)

* People always have been the foolish victims of deception and self-deception in politics, and they always will be until they have learnt to seek out the ''interests'' of some class or other behind all moral, religious, political and social phrases, declarations and promises.
** The Three Sources and Three Constituent Parts of Marxism (March 1913)

* The bourgeoisie incites the workers of one nation against those of another in the endeavor to keep them disunited. Class-conscious workers, realising that the break-down of all the national barriers by capitalism is inevitable and progressive, are trying to help to enlighten and organise their fellow-workers from the backward countries.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1913/oct/29.htm &quot;Capitalism and Workers’ Immigration&quot;, in ''Za Pravdu'' No. 22 (29 October 1913)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24.

* Man's consciousness not only reflects the objective world, but creates it.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1914/cons-logic/ch03.htm#LCW38_212a ''Conspectus of Hegel’s Science of Logic'' — Book III : Subjective Logic or the Doctrine of the Notion (December 1914)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 38, p. 85-241.

*We, the Great-Russian proletarians, who defend no privileges whatever, do not defend this privilege either. We are fighting on the ground of a definite state; we unite the workers of all nations living in this state; we cannot vouch for any particular path of national development, for we are marching to our class goal along ''all'' possible paths. 
**&quot;Right of Nations to Self-Determination&quot;, (1904), ''The Lenin Anthology''

*The interests of the working class and of its struggle against capitalism demand complete solidarity and the closest unity of the workers of all nations; they demand resistance to the nationalist policy of the bourgeoisie of every nationalist. 
**&quot;Right of Nations to Self-Determination&quot;, (1904), ''The Lenin Anthology''

*Social-chauvinism is advocacy of the idea of &quot;defense of the fatherland: in the present war. This idea logically leads to the abandonment of the class struggle during the war, to voting for war credits, etc. In fact, the social-chauvinists are pursuing an anti-proletarian bourgeois policy, for they are actually championing, not &quot;defense of the fatherland&quot; in the sense of combating foreign oppression, but the &quot;right&quot; of one or other &quot;Great&quot; Powers to plunder colonies and to oppress other nations. The social-chauvinists reiterate the bourgeois deception of the people that the war is being waged to protect the freedom and existence of nations, thereby taking sides with the bourgeoisie against the proletariat. 
**''Socialism and War'' (1914), ''The Lenin Anthology''

*It is not the business of socialists to help the younger and stronger robbers. Socialists must take advantage of the struggle between the robbers to overthrow all of them. To be able to do this, socialists must first of all tell the people the truth, namely, that this war is, in three respects, a war between slave-holders with the aim of consolidating slavery. 
**''Socialism and War'' (1914), ''The Lenin Anthology''

*Is a sense of national pride alien to us, Great-Russian class-conscious proletarians? Certainly not! '''We love our language and our country, and we are doing our very utmost to raise ''her''' toiling masses (i.e., ninth-tenths of ''her'' population) to the level of a democratic and socialist consciousness. To us it is most painful to see and feel the outrages, the oppression an the humiliation our fair country suffers at the hands of the tsar's butchers, the nobles and the capitalists.''' 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*'''Nobody is to be blamed for being born a slave; but a slave who not only eschews a striving for freedom but justifies and eulogies his slavery''' (e.g., calls the throttling of Poland and the Ukraine, etc., a &quot;defense of the fatherland&quot; of the Great Russians&quot;) - such a slave is a lickspittle and a boor, who arouses a legitimate feeling of indignation, contempt, and loathing. 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*We Great-Russian workers want, come what may, a free and independent, a democratic, republican and proud Great Russia, one that will base its neighbors on the human principle of equality, and not on the feudalist principle of privilege, which is so degrading to a great nation. 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*The proletarian revolution calls for a prolonged education of the workers in the spirit of the ''fullest'' equality and brotherhood. 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*In no country in the world are the majority of the population oppressed so much as in Russia; Great Russians constitute only 43 per cent of the population, i.e., less than half; the non-Russians are denied all rights. 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*Tsarism regards the war as a means of diverting attention from the mounting discontent within the country and of suppressing the growing revolutionary movement. 
**''The War and Russian Social-Democracy (September 1914), ''The Lenin Anthology'' 

*'''The Soviets are a new state apparatus which, in the first place, provides an armed force of workers and peasants; and this force is not divorced from the people, as was the old standing army, but is very closely bound up with the people, From the military point of view this force is incomparably more powerful than previous forces; from the revolutionary point of view, it cannot be replaced by anything else.''' 
**''Can the Bolsheviks Retain State Power?'', (1917)

*The big banks ''are'' the &quot;state apparatus&quot; which we ''need'' to bring about socialism, and which we ''take ready-made'' from capitalism' our task here is merely to ''lop off'' what ''capitalistically mutilates'' this excellent apparatus, to make it ''even bigger'', even more democratic, even more comprehensive. Quantity will be transformed into quality. A single State Bank, the biggest of the big, with branches in every rural district, in every factory, will constitute as much as nine-tenths of the ''socialist apparatus.
**&quot;Can the Bolsheviks Retain State Power?&quot;, (1917), ''The Lenin Anthology''

* An end to wars, peace among the nations, the cessation of pillaging and violence — such is our ideal, but only bourgeois sophists can seduce the masses with this ideal, if the latter is divorced from a direct and immediate call for revolutionary action.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1915/jul/x02.htm &quot;The Question of Peace&quot; (July–August 1915)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 21, p. 293.

* Peaceful surrender of power by the bourgeoisie is possible, if it is convinced that resistance is hopeless and if it prefers to save its skin. It is much more likely, of course, that even in small states socialism will not be achieved without civil war, and for that reason the only programme of international Social-Democracy must be recognition of civil war, though violence is, of course, alien to our ideals.
** [http://search.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1916/carimarx/6.htm &quot;A Caricature of Marxism and Imperialist Economism&quot; (August - October 1916)] ''Collected Works'', Vol. 23, pp. 28-76 [http://www.jstor.org/pss/3516954]

* [[Disarmament]] is the ideal of socialism. There will be no wars in {{w|socialist society}}; consequently, disarmament will be achieved. But whoever expects that socialism will be achieved ''without'' a {{w|social revolution}} and the [[dictatorship of the proletariat]] is not a socialist. Dictatorship is state power based directly on ''violence''. And in the twentieth century — as in the age of civilisation generally — violence means neither a fist nor a club, but ''troops''. To put “disarmament” in the programme is tantamount to making the general declaration: We are opposed to the use of arms. There is as little Marxism in this as there would be if we were to say: We are opposed to violence!
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1916/oct/01.htm &quot;The “Disarmament” Slogan&quot; (October 1916)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 23, p. 94-104.

* International unity of the workers is more important than the national.
** Letter to [[w:Inessa Armand|Inessa Armand]] (20 November 1916) ''Collected Works'', Vol. 35, pp. 246-247.

*The “democratisation” of the ownership of shares, from which the bourgeois sophists and opportunist so-called “Social-Democrats” expect (or say that they expect) the “democratisation of capital”, the strengthening of the role and significance of small scale production, etc., is, in fact, one of the ways of increasing the power of the financial oligarchy.
**[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1916/imp-hsc/ch03.htm ''Imperialism : The Highest Stage of Capitalism'' (1916)].

* It is essential to grasp the incontestable truth that a Marxist must take cognisance of real life, of the true facts of ''reality'', and not cling to a theory of yesterday, which, like all theories, at best only outlines the main and the general, only ''comes near'' to embracing life in all its complexity.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/apr/x01.htm Letters on Tactics (April 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24.

*In the two months following the revolution the industrialists have robbed the whole of Russia.
**[http://www.marx.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/may/14.htm &quot;War and Revolution&quot; (May 1917)], ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24.

* The Bolsheviks will do everything to secure this peaceful development of the revolution.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/sep/29.htm &quot;The Russian Revolution And Civil War&quot; (29 September 1917)]; in ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, 1972, pp. 28-42.

* Our business is to help get everything possible done to make sure the &quot;last&quot; chance for a peaceful development of the revolution, to help by the presentation of our programme, by making clear its national character, its absolute accord with the interests and demands of a vast majority of the population.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/oct/09.htm &quot;The Tasks of the Revolution&quot; (9 October 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, 1972, pp. 59 - 68.

* Victory will belong only to those who have faith in the people, those who are immersed in the life-giving spring of popular creativity.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/nov/04a.htm &quot;Meeting Of The All-Russia Central Executive Committee&quot; (4 November 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 285-293.

* Where and when have riots and anarchy been provoked by wise measures? If the government had acted wisely, and if their measures had met the needs of the poor peasants, would there have been unrest among the peasant masses?
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/oct/25-26/26d.htm Report on Land (8 November 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26.

* We shall not bind ourselves by treaties. We shall not allow ourselves to be entangled by treaties. We reject all clauses on plunder and violence, but we shall welcome all clauses containing provisions for good-neighbourly relations and all economic agreements; we cannot reject these.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/oct/25-26/26c.htm Concluding Speech Following the Discussion On the Report of Peace (8 November 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26.

* The government considers it the greatest of crimes against humanity to continue this war over the issue of how to divide among the strong and rich nations the weak nationalities they have conquered, and solemnly announces its determination immediately to sign terms of peace to stop this war on the terms indicated, which are equally just for all nationalities without exception.
**[http://marx.org/archive/lenin/works//1917/oct/25-26/26b.htm Report on Peace (8 November 1917)], ''Lenin's Collected Works'', Vol. 26.

*[H]alf a dozen workers who shirk their work… will be put in prison. In another place they will be put to cleaning latrines. In a third place they will be provided with ‘yellow tickets’ after they have served their time, so that everyone shall keep an eye on them, as ''harmful'' persons, until they reform. In a fourth place, one out of every ten idlers will be shot on the spot. 
**[https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/dec/25.htm “How to Organize Competition?”] (Dec. 24-27, 1917)  ''Collected Works'', Volume 26, p. 404-15, Progress Publishers, first published in ''Pravda'' No. 17, January 20, 1929. 

* No mercy for these enemies of the people, the enemies of socialism, the enemies of the working people! War to the death against the rich and their hangers-on, the bourgeois intellectuals; war on the rogues, the idlers and the rowdies!
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/dec/25.htm &quot;How to Organise Competition?&quot; (27 December 1917)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 411, 414.

* We know that an unskilled labourer or a cook cannot immediately get on with the job of state administration.
** ''Will the Bolsheviks Retain Government Power?'' (1917); this is often misquoted as &quot;every cook must learn to govern the state&quot; or even &quot;every cook can govern the state.&quot;

* The war is relentless: it puts the alternative in a ruthless relief: either to perish, or to catch up with the advanced countries and outdistance them, too, in economic matters.
** ''The Impending Catastrophe and How to Fight It'' (1917).

* All the marvels of science and the gains of culture belong to the nation as a whole, and never again will man’s brain and human genius be used for oppression and exploitation.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/jan/10.htm ''Third All-Russia Congress Of Soviets Of Workers, Soldiers’ And Peasants'' : Report On The Activities Of The Council Of People’s Commissars&quot; (January 1918)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, p. 453-82.

* Does not the whole history of socialism, particularly of French socialism, which is so rich in revolutionary striving, show us that when the working people themselves take power in their hands the ruling classes resort to unheard-of crimes and shootings if it is a matter of protecting their money-bags.
** &quot;Report on the Activities of the Council of People’s Commissars&quot; (24 January 1918); Collected Works, Vol. 26, pp. 459-61.

* We must not depict socialism as if socialists will bring it to us on a plate all nicely dressed. That will never happen. Not a single problem of the class struggle has ever been solved in history except by violence. When violence is exercised by the working people, by the mass of exploited against the exploiters — then we are for it!
** &quot;Report on the Activities of the Council of People’s Commissars&quot; (24 January 1918); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 459-61.

* We shall not achieve socialism without a struggle. But we are ready to fight, we have started it and we shall finish it with the aid of the apparatus called the Soviets.
** Report on the Activities of the Council of People’s Commissars (24 January 1918); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 459-61.

* After retaining power for two months and ten days, the workers of Paris, who for the first time in history established the Commune, the embryo of Soviet power, perished at the hands of the French Cadets, Mensheviks and Right Socialist-Revolutionaries of a Kaledin type. The French workers had to pay an unprecedentedly heavy price for the first experience of workers' government, the meaning and purpose of which the overwhelming majority of the peasants in France did not know.
** [http://www.marx2mao.com/Lenin/TCS18.html “Report on the Activities of the Council of People’s Commissars” (23-31 January 1918)], as translated by Yuri Sdobnikov and George Hanna, ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 459-61.

* You cannot do anything without rousing the masses to action. A plenary meeting of the Soviet must be called to decide on mass searches in Petrograd and the goods stations. To carry out these searches, each factory and company must form contingents, not on a voluntary basis: it must be the duty of everyone to take part in these searches under the threat of being deprived of his bread card. We can't expect to get anywhere unless we resort to terrorism: speculators must be shot on the spot. Moreover, bandits must be dealt with just as resolutely: they must be shot on the spot.
** [http://www.marx2mao.com/Lenin/MPPS18.html “Meeting of the Presidium of the Petrograd Soviet With Delegates From the Food Supply Organisations&quot; (27 January 1918)] ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, p. 501.

* The most reliable and best armed groups of the mass of revolutionary contingents organised to take extreme measures to overcome the famine shall be detailed for dispatch to all stations and all uyezds of the principal grain supplying gubernias. These groups, with the participation of railwaymen delegated by local railway committees, shall be authorised, firstly, to control the movement of grain freights; secondly, take charge of the collection and storage of grain; thirdly, adopt the most extreme revolutionary measures to fight speculators and to requisition grain stocks. When making any record of requisition, arrest or execution, the revolutionary contingents shall summon at least six witnesses to be selected from the poorest section of the population closest at hand.
**“Meeting of the Presidium of the Petrograd Soviet With Delegates From the Food Supply Organisations” (27 January 1918); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, p. 503.

* It is not national interests we are upholding — we claim that the interests of socialism, the interests of world socialism, rank higher than national interests, higher than the interests of the state. We are defenders of the socialist fatherland.
** Address to the Party Central Committee (14 May 1918); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 27, pp. 365-381.

* Let us...take the most concrete example of state capitalism...It is Germany. Here we have the 'last word' in modern, large-scale capitalist engineering and planned organization, ''subordinated to Junker-bourgeois imperialism''. Cross out the words in italics and [substitute] a ''Soviet'' state, that is, a proletarian state, and you will have the ''sum total'' of the conditions necessary for socialism.
** &quot;Left Wing' Childishness&quot;, ''Pravda'' (May 1918).

* Comrade Fyodorov, It is obvious that a [[w:White Terror (Russia)|whiteguard insurrection]] is being prepared in [[w:History of Nizhny Novgorod#Revolutionary Nizhny Novgorod|Nizhni]]. You must strain every effort, appoint three men with dictatorial powers (yourself, [[w:Nikolai Markin|Markin]] and one other), organise ''immediately'' [[w:Red Terror|mass terror]], ''shoot'' and ''[[w:Population transfer in the Soviet Union|deport]] the hundreds'' of [[w:Prostitution in the Soviet Union#The post-revolutionary period (1917–1928)|prostitutes]] who are making [[w:Prohibition in the Russian Empire and the Soviet Union#Soviet Russia and the Soviet Union|drunkards]] of the soldiers, former officers and the like. Not a minute of delay. I can't understand how Romanov could leave at a time like this! [...] [[w:Jēkabs Peterss|Peters]], Chairman of the [[w:Cheka|Extraordinary Commission]], says that they also have [[Bolsheviks|''reliable'' people]] in Nizhni. You must act with all energy. Mass searches. Execution for [[w:Gun control in the Soviet Union|concealing arms]]. Mass deportation of {{w|Mensheviks}} and [[w:Political repression in the Soviet Union|unreliables]]. Change the guards at warehouses, put in reliable people. They say [[w:Fyodor Raskolnikov|Raskolnikov]] and [[w:Jūlijs Daniševskis|Danishevsky]] are on their way to see you from [[w:Kazan#Soviet period|Kazan]]. Read this letter to the friends and reply by telegraph or telephone. Yours, Lenin.
** Letter to G. F. Fyodorov, 9 August 1918. First published, but not in full, in 1938 in ''Bolshevik'' No. 2. Republished in ''Lenin Collected Works'', ''Progress Publishers'', 1976, Volume 35, page 349. [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/aug/09gff.htm 349 Text online] at the ''{{w|Marxists Internet Archive}}''.

* Hang (hang without fail, so the people see) no fewer than one hundred known [[w:Kulak|kulaks]], rich men, bloodsuckers.
** &quot;[[w:Lenin's Hanging Order|Lenin's Hanging Order]]&quot; (11 August 1918), an order for the execution of kulaks, as translated in ''The Unknown Lenin : From the Secret Archive'' (1996) by Richard Pipes, p. 50 &lt;!-- Yale University Press --&gt;
** Variant translation: Hang (and make sure that the hanging takes place in full view of the people) no fewer than one hundred known landlords, rich men, bloodsuckers. ... Do it in such a fashion that for hundreds of kilometres around the people might see, tremble, know, shout: &quot;they are strangling, and will strangle to death, the bloodsucking kulaks&quot;.
*** As translated in ''Lenin : A Biography'' (2000) by [[w:Robert Service|Robert Service]], p. 365.

* You must act with all energy. Mass searches. Execution for concealing arms.
** Also quoted as &quot;Make mass searches and hold executions for found arms.&quot;
** Letter to G. F. Fyodorov, August 9, 1918, ''Collected Works'', vol. 35. [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/cw/pdf/lenin-cw-vol-35.pdf 35]

* The Poor Peasants' Committees are necessary to fight the kulaks, the rich, the exploiters, who shackle the working peasants. But between the kulaks, who are a small minority, and the poor or semi-proletarians there is the section of the middle peasants. The Soviet government has never declared or conducted any struggle against them. Any steps or measures to the contrary must be condemned most vigorously and stopped. The socialist government must pursue a policy of agreement with the middle peasants.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/aug/16.htm &quot;Draft of a Telegram to all Soviets of Deputies Concerning the Worker-Peasant Alliance&quot; (16 August 1918)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol.'' 28.

* It is necessary — secretly and ''urgently'' to prepare [[w:Red Terror|the terror]]. And on Tuesday we will decide whether it will be through [[w:Council of People's Commissars|SNK]] or otherwise.
** Memorandum to [[w:Nikolay Krestinsky|Nikolay Nikolayevich Krestinsky]] (3 or 4 September 1918) while recovering from an assassination attempt by [[w: Socialist-Revolutionary Party|Socialist-Revolutionary]] [[w:Fanni Kaplan|Fanni Kaplan]] on 30 August 1918; published in ''The Mitrokhin Archive: The KGB in Europe and the West'' (1999) Christopher Andrew and Vasili Mitrokhin, p. 34.

* Recovery proceeding excellently. Am sure that the crushing of the Kazan Czechs and [[w:White movement|whiteguards]], as well as of the kulak extortioners supporting them, will be exemplarily ruthless.
** [http://marxists.anu.edu.au/archive/lenin/works/1918/sep/07ldt.htm Telegram to [[Leon Trotsky]] (7 September 1918)] as translated by Andrew Rothstein; the recovery he mentions was of the wounds he received in the assassination attempt on him a few days earlier; published in '' ''Collected Works'', Vol. 35, p. 359
** I am confident that the suppression of the Kazan Czechs and White Guards, and likewise of the bloodsucking kulaks who support them, will be a model of mercilessness.
*** As translated in ''The Cheka : Lenin’s Political Police'' (1981) by George Leggett, p. 119,

* [[Karl Marx|Marx]] said that the revolutionary dictatorship of the proletariat lies between capitalism and communism. The more the proletariat presses the bourgeoisie, the more furiously they will resist. We know what vengeance was wreaked on the workers in France in 1848. And when people charge us with harshness we wonder how they can forget the rudiments of Marxism.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/nov/07b.htm Speech to the All-Russia Extraordinary Commission Staff (7 November 1918); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 28, pp. 169-70]

* No Bolshevik, no Communist, no intelligent socialist has ever entertained the idea of violence against the middle peasants. All socialists have always spoken of agreement with them and of their gradual and voluntary transition to socialism.
**[http://marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1919/feb/14b.htm &quot;Reply to a Peasant’s Question&quot; (15 February 1919)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 36, p. 501.

*[[Anti-Semitism]] means spreading enmity towards the Jews. When the accursed tsarist monarchy was living its last days it tried to incite ignorant workers and peasants against the Jews. The tsarist police, in alliance with the landowners and the capitalists, organised pogroms against the Jews. The landowners and capitalists tried to divert the hatred of the workers and peasants who were tortured by want against the Jews. In other countries, too, we often see the capitalists fomenting hatred against the Jews in order to blind the workers, to divert their attention from the real enemy of the working people, capital. Hatred towards the Jews persists only in those countries where slavery to the landowners and capitalists has created abysmal ignorance among the workers and peasants. Only the most ignorant and downtrodden people can believe the lies and slander that are spread about the Jews. This is a survival of ancient feudal times, when the priests burned heretics at the stake, when the peasants lived in slavery, and when the people were crushed and inarticulate. This ancient, feudal ignorance is passing away; the eyes of the people are being opened. '''It is not the Jews who are the enemies of the working people. The enemies of the workers are the capitalists of all countries. Among the Jews there are working people, and they form the majority. They are our brothers, who, like us, are oppressed by capital; they are our comrades in the struggle for socialism.''' Among the Jews there are kulaks, exploiters and capitalists, just as there are among the Russians, and among people of all nations. The capitalists strive to sow and foment hatred between workers of different faiths, different nations and different races. Those who do not work are kept in power by the power and strength of capital. Rich Jews, like rich Russians, and the rich in all countries, are in alliance to oppress, crush, rob and disunite the workers. Shame on accursed tsarism which tortured and persecuted the Jews. Shame on those who foment hatred towards the Jews, who foment hatred towards other nations. '''Long live the fraternal trust and fighting alliance of the workers of all nations in the struggle to overthrow capital.'''
** [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1919/mar/x10.htm Anti-Jewish Pogroms (March 1919)] ''Lenin’s Collected Works'', 4th English Edition, Progress Publishers, Moscow, 1972 Volume 29, p. 252-253.

* Из всех искусств важнейшим для нас является кино.
** You are known among us as a protector of the arts so you must remember that, of all the arts, for us the cinema is the most important.
** Conversation with [[w:Anatoly Lunacharsky|A.V.Lunacharsky]] (April 1919); also quoted in ''A Concise History of the Cinema: Before 1940'' (1971) by Peter Cowie, p. 137, ''Complete Works of V.I.Lenin'' - 5th Edition - Vol. 44. - p. 579.

*Hundreds of thousands of rouble notes are being issued daily by our treasury. This is done, not in order to ﬁll the coffers of the State with practically worthless paper, but with the deliberate intention of destroying the value of money as a means of payment... Experience has taught us it is impossible to root out the evils of capitalism merely by conﬁscation and expropriation... The simplest way to exterminate the very spirit of capitalism is therefore to ﬂood the country with notes of a high face-value without financial guarantees of any sort. ...[T]he great illusion of the value and power of money, on which the capitalist state is based will have been definitely destroyed.
**The ''Daily Chronicle'' and ''New York Times'' (April 23, 1919), Paul Miliukov, ''Bolshevism: An International Danger'', London: UK, Taylor &amp; Francis e-Library, 2010, pp. 75-76, first published in 1920

* When we are reproached with having established a dictatorship of one party and, as you have heard, a united socialist front is proposed, we say, &quot;Yes, it is a dictatorship of one party! This is what we stand for and we shall not shift from that position because it is the party that has won, in the course of decades, the position of vanguard of the entire factory and industrial proletariat. This party had won that position even before the revolution of 1905. It is the party that was at the head of the workers in 1905 and which since then — even at the time of the reaction after 1905 when the working-class movement was rehabilitated with such difficulty under the Stolypin Duma — merged with the working class and it alone could lead that class to a profound, fundamental change in the old society.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1919/aug/05.htm “Speech to the First All-Russia Congress of Workers in Education and Socialist Culture” (30 July 1919)] ''Collected Works'', Vol. 29, p. 535.

* When the Soviet government is experiencing a difficult period and plots are being hatched by bourgeois elements and when at a critical moment we manage to lay bare these plots — do they think they are discovered accidentally? Oh, no, not accidentally. They are discovered because the plotters live among the masses, because they cannot succeed in their plots without the workers and peasants and it is there that, in the long run, they run up against people who go to that badly organised, as they said here, Cheka and say that exploiters are gathered in a certain place.
** [http://www.marx2mao.com/Lenin/SARCS19.html Address to the Seventh All-Russia Congress (5 December 1919)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30.

* When the speeches of [[Woodrow Wilson|Wilson]], [[Georges Clemenceau|Clemenceau]], and [[David Lloyd George|Lloyd George]], the worst of the predators, the wild beasts of imperialism, are repeated here by [[w:Julius Martov|Martov]] in the name of the [[w:Russian Social Democratic Labour Party|Russian Social Democratic Labour Party]] ... then I say to myself that we have to be on the alert and to realise that the [[w:Cheka|Cheka]] is indispensable!
** Address to the Seventh All-Russia Congress (5 December 1919); ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30.

* The [[intellectual]] forces of the workers and peasants are growing and getting stronger in their fight to overthrow the [[bourgeoisie]] and their accomplices, the educated classes, the lackeys of capital, who consider themselves the brains of the nation.  In fact they are not its brains but its shit.
** [https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/archives/g2aleks.html Letter from Lenin to Gorky], Sept. 15, 1919

====&quot;The Right of Nations to Self-Determination&quot; (1914)====
&lt;small&gt;Small text&lt;/small&gt;

====&quot;The Dual Power&quot; (1917)====
&lt;small&gt;&quot;The Dual Power&quot; was published in ''Pravda'' on April 9, 1917 discussing the policy of dual political power between The Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky centered in Moscow, and The Petrograd Soviet in the contemporary city of St. Petersberg&lt;/small&gt;
*'''The basic question of every revolution is that of state power.''' Unless this question is understood, there can be no intelligent participation in the revolution, not to speak of guidance of the revolution.The highly remarkable feature of our revolution is that it has brought about ''dual power''. This fact must be grasped first and foremost: unless it is understood, we cannot advance. We must know how to supplement and amend old &quot;formulas&quot;.
**''Lenin Anthology'', p. 301

====&quot;The Enemies of the People&quot; (June 1917)====
[[File:JP Morgan logo.jpg|thumb|right|It would be enough to arrest fifty to a hundred financial magnates and bigwigs, the chief knights of embezzlement and of robbery by the banks. It would be enough to arrest them for a few weeks ''to expose their frauds'' and show all exploited people &quot; who needs the war.&quot; Upon exposing the frauds of the banking barons, we could release them, placing the banks, the capitalist syndicates, and all the contractors &quot;working&quot; for the government under workers' control.]]
*The &quot;Jacobins&quot; of the twentieth century would not guillotine the capitalists - to follow a good example does not mean copying it. '''It would be enough to arrest fifty to a hundred financial magnates and bigwigs, the chief knights of embezzlement and of robbery by the banks. It would be enough to arrest them for a few weeks ''to expose their frauds'' and show all exploited people &quot; who needs the war.&quot; Upon exposing the frauds of the banking barons, we could release them, placing the banks, the capitalist syndicates, and all the contractors &quot;working&quot; for the government under workers' control. '''

====&quot;The Foreign Policy of the Russian Revolution&quot;====
*'''No idea could be more erroneous or harmful than to separate foreign from domestic policy.'''
*Popular ignorance of foreign policy is incomparably greater than of domestic policy. 
*You must side with one of the two immensely wealthy and immensely powerful groups of imperialist predators - that is how capitalist reality poses the basic issue of present-day foreign policy.

===''April Thesis'' (1917)===
&lt;small&gt;Published in Pravda on April 7th, months after the February Revolution, Lenin formulates what would become the Bolshevik Party's official position in regards to the Provisional Government. &lt;/small&gt;

*In our attitude towards the war, which under the new government of Lvov and Co. unquestionably remains on Russia's part a predatory imperialist war owing to the capitalist nature of that government, not the slightest concession to “revolutionary defencism” is permissible.
*In view of the undoubted honesty of those broad sections of the mass believers in revolutionary defencism who accept the war only as a necessity, and not as a means of conquest, in view of the fact that they are being deceived by the bourgeoisie, it is necessary with particular thoroughness, persistence and patience to explain their error to them, and to prove that without overthrowing capital it is impossible to end the war by a truly democratic peace.
*The masses must be made to see that the Soviets of Workers' Deputies are the ''only possible'' form of revolutionary government.
*Abolition of the police, the army and the bureaucracy. The salaries of all officials, all of whom are elective and displaceable at any time, not to exceed the average wage of a competent worker.
*It is not our ''immediate task'' to “introduce” socialism, but only to bring social production and the distribution of products at once under the control of the Soviets of Workers' Deputies.
*It is, of course, much easier to shout, abuse, and howl than to attempt to relate, to explain.

===''Imperialism, The Highest Stage of Capitalism'' (1917)===
*Capitalism in its imperialist stage arrives at the threshold of the most complete socialization of production. In spite of themselves the capitalists are dragged, as it were, into the new social order, which marks the transition from complete free competition to complete socialization. Production becomes social, but appropriation remains private. The social means of production remain the private property of a few. The framework of formally recognized free competition remains, but the yoke of a few monopolists on the rest of the population becomes a hundred times heavier, more burdensome and intolerable. 
**Chapter One
*The statement that cartels can abolish crises is a fable spread by bourgeois economists who at all costs desire to place capitalism in a favorable light. On the contrary, when monopoly appears in ''certain'' branches of industry, it increases and intensifies the anarchy inherent in capitalist production ''as a whole''. 
**Chapter One
*Crises of every kind - economic crises more frequently, but not only these - in their turn increase very considerably the tendency towards concentration and monopoly
**Chapter One
*The principal and primary function of banks is to serve as an intermediary in the making of payments. In doing so they transform inactive money capital into active capital, that is, into capital producing a profit; they collect all kinds of money revenues and place them at the disposal of the capitalist class. 
**Chapter Two
*The transformation of numerous intermediaries into a handful of monopolists represents one of the fundamental processes in the transformation of capitalism into capitalist imperialism. 
**Chapter Two
*All the rules of control, the publication of balance sheets, the drawing up of balance sheets according to a definite form, the public auditing of accounts, the things about which well-intentioned professors and officials - that is, those imbued with the good intention of defending and embellishing capitalism - discourse to the public, are of no avail. '''For private property is sacred, and no one can be prohibited from buying, selling, exchanging or mortgaging shares, etc.''' 
**Chapter Three

*'''A monopoly, once it is formed and controls thousands of millions, inevitably penetrates into ''every'' sphere of public life, regardless of the form of government and all other &quot;details&quot;.''' 
**Chapter Three

*Generally speaking, under capitalism, the ownership of capital is separate from the application of capital to production; money capital is separate from industrial or productive capital; the ''rentier'', living entirely on income obtained from money capital, is separated from the ''entrepreneur'' and from all those directly concerned in the management of capital. 
**Chapter Three

*Thus, in one way or another, the whole world is more or less the debtor to and vassal of these forn international banker countries, the four &quot;pillars&quot; of world finance capital. 
**Chapter Three
*Under the old type of capitalism, when free competition prevailed, the export of ''goods'' was the most typical feature. Under modern capitalism, when monopolies prevail, the exporter of ''capital'' has become the typical feature. 
**Chapter Four, &quot;The Export of Capital&quot; 
*The principal feature of modern capitalism is the domination of monopolist combines of the big capitalists. 
**Chapter Six
*Finance capital is not only interested in the already known sources of raw materials; it is also interested in possible sources of raw materials, because present-day technical development is extremely rapid, and because land which is useless today may be made fertile  tomorrow if new methods are applied (to devise these new methods a big bank can equip a whole expedition of engineers, agricultural experts, etc.), and large amounts of capital are invested. 
**Chapter Six
*We must now try to sum up, to draw together the threads of what has been said above on the subject of imperialism. Imperialism emerged as the development and direct continuation of the fundamental characteristics of capitalism in general. But capitalism only became capitalist imperialism at a definite and very high stage of its development, when certain of its fundamental characteristics began to change into their opposites, when the features of the epoch of transition from capitalism to a higher social and economic system had taken shape and revealed themselves in all spheres. Economically, the main thing in this process is the displacement of capitalist free competition by capitalist monopoly.
**Chapter Seven
*Imperialism is capitalism in that stage of development in which the domination of monopolies and finance capital has established itself; in which the export of capital has acquired pronounced importance; in which the division of the world among the international trusts has begun; in which the partition of all the territories of the globe among the great capitalist powers has been completed. 
**Chapter Seven
*Capitalism is commodity production at the highest stage of development, when labor power itself becomes a commodity. The growth of internal exchange, and particularly of international exchange, is a special feature of capitalism. The uneven and spasmodic character of the development of individual enterprises, of individual branches of industry and individual countries, is inevitable under the capitalist system. 
**Chapter Four, &quot;The Export of Capital&quot; 
*The war of 1914-18 was imperialist (that is, an annexationist, predatory, war of plunder) on the part of both sides; it was a war for the division of the world, for the partition and repartition of colonies and spheres of influence of finance capital.
*When nine-tenths of Africa had been seized (by 1900), when the whole world had been divided up,there was inevitably ushered in the era of monopoly possession of colonies and, consequently, of particularly intense struggle for the division and the redivision of the world. 
*Modern monopolist capitalism on a world-wide scale — imperialist wars are absolutely inevitable under such an economic system, as long as private property in the means of production exists.
*Monopolies, oligarchy, the striving for domination and not for freedom, the exploitation of an increasing number of small or weak nations by a handful of the richest or most powerful nations — all these have given birth to those distinctive characteristics of imperialism which compel us to define it as parasitic or decaying capitalism.
*Imperialism is the epoch of finance capital and of monopolies, which introduce everywhere the striving for domination, not for freedom. Whatever the political system, the result of these tendencies is everywhere reaction and an extreme intensification of antagonisms in this field. Particularly intensified become the yoke of national oppression and the striving for annexations, i.e., the violation of national independence (for annexation is nothing but the violation of the right of nations to self-determination). 
**''The Lenin Anthology'', p. 268

===''{{w|The State and Revolution}}'' (1917) ===
[[File:A. Rylov. Lenin v Razlive -2.jpg|thumb|right|We set ourselves the ultimate aim of abolishing the state, i.e., all organized and systematic violence, all use of violence against people in general.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev ''The State and Revolution'' (August - September 1917)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rylov lenin.jpeg|thumb|right|While the State exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State.]]

[[File:Pyramid_of_Capitalist_System.jpg|thumb|right|The state is an organ of class ''rule'', an organ for the ''oppression'' of one class by another; it creates &quot;order,&quot; which legalizes and perpetuates this oppression by moderating the collision between the classes. ]]
[[File: Tesserapcd21.jpg|thumb|right|Revolution alone can &quot;put an end&quot; to the bourgeois state. The state in general, i.e., the most complete democracy, can only &quot;wither away&quot;. ]]

* '''During the lifetime of great revolutionaries, the oppressing classes relentlessly persecute them, and treat their teachings with malicious hostility, the most furious hatred and the most unscrupulous campaign of lies and slanders. After their death, attempts are made to convert them into harmless icons, to canonize them, so to say, and to surround their ''names'' with a certain halo for the &quot;consolation&quot; of the oppressed classes and with the object of duping them, while at the same time emasculating the revolutionary doctrine of its content, vulgarizing it and blunting its revolutionary edge.''''
**1.1, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*At the present time, the bourgeoisie and the opportunists in the labor movement concur in this &quot;revision&quot; of Marxism. They omit, obliterate and distort the revolutionary side of its doctrine, its revolutionary soul. They push to the foreground and extol what is or seems acceptable to the bourgeoisie. 
**1.1, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*In such circumstances, in view of the incredibly widespread nature of the distortions of Marxism, our first task is to ''restore'' the true doctrine of Marx on the state. 
**1.1, ''Essential Workers of Lenin'' (1966)

*The state is an organ of class ''rule'', an organ for the ''oppression'' of one class by another; it creates &quot;order,&quot; which legalizes and perpetuates this oppression by moderating the collision between the classes. 
**1.1, ''Essential Workers of Lenin'' (1966)

*'''The state is the product and the manifestation of the ''irreconcilability'' class antagonisms. The state arises when, where and to the extent that class antagonisms ''cannot'' be objectively reconciled. And, conversely, the existence of the state proves that the class antagonisms ''are'' irreconcilable.''' 
**1.1, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*The proletariat needs state power, a centralized organisation of force, an organisation of violence, both to crush the resistance of the exploiters and to ''lead'' the enormous mass of the population - the peasants, the petty bourgeoisie, and semi-proletarians - in the work of organising a socialist economy. 
**1.1, ''The Lenin Anthology''

* Although the Russian bourgeois revolution of 1905-07 displayed no such “brilliant” successes as at time fell to the Portuguese and Turkish revolutions, it was undoubtedly a &quot;real people's&quot; revolution, since the mass of the people, their majority, the very lowest social groups, crushed by oppression and exploitation, rose independently and stamped on the entire course of the revolution the imprint of their own demands, their attempt to build in their own way a new society in place of the old society that was being destroyed.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/ch03.htm Ch. 3]

*We are justified in speaking of special bodies of armed men, because the public power which is an attribute of every state is not &quot;directly identical&quot; with armed population, with its &quot;self-acting armed organization&quot;
**1.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*A state arises, a special force is created in the form of special bodies of armed men, and every revolution, by destroying the state apparatus, demonstrates to us how the ruling class strives to restore the special bodies of armed men which serve ''it'', and how the oppressed class strives to create a new organization of this kind, capable of serving not the exploiters but the exploited. 
**1.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*In a democratic republic, [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] continues, &quot;wealth wields its power indirectly, all the more effectively,&quot; first, by means of the &quot;direct corruption of the officials (America); second, by the means of &quot;the alliance between the government and the Stock Exchange (France and America).
**1.3: The State as an Instrument for the Exploitation of The Oppressed Class, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Revolution alone can &quot;put an end&quot; to the bourgeois state. The state in general, i.e., the most complete democracy, can only &quot;wither away&quot;. 
**1.3: The State as an Instrument for the Exploitation of The Oppressed Class, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*We are in favor of a democratic republic as the best form of state for the proletariat under capitalism; but we have no right to forget that wage-slavery is the lot of the people even in the most democratic bourgeois republic.
** § 1.4, &quot;The Withering Away of the State and Violent Revolution&quot;, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)
*The substitution of the proletarian state for the bourgeois state is impossible without a violent revolution. The abolition of the proletarian state, ''i.e.'', of the state in general, is impossible except through the process of &quot;withering away&quot;. 
** § 1.4, &quot;The Withering Away of the State and Violent Revolution&quot;, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*The exploiting classes need political rule in order to maintain exploitation, ''i.e.'', in the selfish interests of an insignificant minority and against the interests of the vast majority of the people. The exploited classes need political rule in order completely to abolish all exploitation, ''i.e.'', in the interests of the vast majority of the people, and against the interests of the insignificant minority consisting of the modern slave-owners - the landlords and the capitalists. 
**2.1, &quot;The Eve of The Revolution&quot;,  ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*The proletariat needs state power, the centralized organization of force, the organization of violence, for the purpose of crushing the resistance of the exploiters and for the purpose of ''leading'' the great mass of the population - the peasantry, the petty bourgeoisie, the semi-proletarians - in the work of organizing a socialist economy.  
**2.1, &quot;The Eve of The Revolution&quot;,  ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

* The centralized state power that is peculiar to bourgeois society came into being in the period of the fall of absolutism. Two institutions are most characteristic of this state machine: bureaucracy and a standing army. 
** 2.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Imperialism - the era of bank capital, the era of gigantic capitalist monopolies, the era of the transformation of monopoly capitalism into state-monopoly capitalism - has particularly witnessed an unprecedented strengthening of the &quot;state machine&quot; and an unprecedented growth of its bureaucratic and military apparatus, in connection with the increase in repressive measures against the proletariat in the monarchical as well as in the freest republican countries.
**2.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

* For the state to wither away completely, complete communism is necessary.
** Ch. 3

*''We ourselves'', the workers, will organize large-scale production on the basis of what capitalism has already created; we shall rely on our own experience as workers, we shall establish strict, iron discipline supported by the state power of the armed workers, we shall reduce the role of he state officials to that of simply carrying out our instructions as responsible, revocable, moderately paid &quot;managers&quot;( of course, with the aid of technicians of all sorts, types and degrees). This is ''our'' proletarian revolution
**3.3, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*It is still necessary to suppress the bourgeoisie and crush its resistance. This was particularly necessary for the Commune; and one of the reasons for its defeat was that it did not do this with sufficient determination. But the organ of suppression is now the majority of the population, and not the minority, as was always the case under slavery, serfdom and wage-slavery. And since the majority of the people ''itself'' suppresses its oppressors, a &quot;special force&quot; for suppression is ''no longer necessary''. in this sense the state ''begins to wither away.'' Instead of the special institutions of a privileged minority.. the majority can directly fulfill all these functions, and the more the functions of state power devolve upon the people generally, the less need is there for the existence of this power. 
**3.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

* We are not utopians, we do not indulge in &quot;dreams&quot; of dispensing ''at once'' with all administration, with all subordination; these anarchist dreams ... serve only to postpone the socialist revolution until human nature has changed. No, we want the {{w|socialist revolution}} with human nature as it is now, with human nature that cannot dispense with subordination, control and &quot;managers.&quot; ... The united workers themselves ... will hire their own technicians, managers and bookkeepers, and pay them ''all'', as, indeed, ''every'' state official, ordinary workmen's [[wages]].
** § 3.4, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966), pp. 307-308

* We set ourselves the ultimate aim of abolishing the state, i.e., all organized and systematic violence, all use of violence against people in general. We do not expect the advent of a system of society in which the principle of subordination of the minority to the majority will not be observed. &lt;br&gt; In striving for socialism, however, we are convinced that it will develop into communism and, therefore, that the need for violence against people in general, for the subordination of one man to another, and of one section of the population to another, will vanish altogether since people will become accustomed to observing the elementary conditions of social life without violence and without subordination.
** [http://www.smirnov.demon.co.uk/socialism/writings/lenin/staterev/ch04.htm Ch. 4 : Supplementary Explanations by Engels]

* Пока есть государство, нет свободы. Когда будет свобода, не будет государства.
** While the State exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State.
**[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/ch05.htm Ch. 5]

* Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in the ancient Greek republics: freedom for the slave-owners.
** Ch. 5.

* Democracy for an insignificant minority, democracy for the rich – that is the democracy of capitalist society. If we look more closely into the machinery of capitalist democracy, we see everywhere, in the &quot;petty&quot; – supposedly petty – details of the suffrage (residential qualifications, exclusion of women, etc.), in the technique of the representative institutions, in the actual obstacles to the right of assembly (public buildings are not for &quot;paupers&quot;!), in the purely capitalist organization of the daily press, etc., etc., – we see restriction after restriction upon democracy. These restrictions, exceptions, exclusions, obstacles for the poor seem slight, especially in the eyes of one who has never known want himself and has never been in close contact with the oppressed classes in their mass life (and nine out of 10, if not 99 out of 100, bourgeois publicists and politicians come under this category); but in their sum total these restrictions exclude and squeeze out the poor from politics, from active participation in democracy.
** Ch. 5 {{cite book|last1=Lenin|first1=Vladmir Illych|title=The State and Revolution|date=1917|publisher=Marxists.org|url=https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/ch05.htm|accessdate=17 January 2015|chapter=2. The Transition from Capitalism to Communism}}

*In capitalist society, under the conditions most favorable to its development, we have more or less complete democracy in the democratic republic. But this democracy is always restricted by the narrow framework of capitalist exploitation and consequently always remains, in reality, a democracy for the minority, only for the possessing classes, only for the rich. '''Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in the ancient Greek republics: freedom for the slave owners'''
**5.2, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*Democracy is of great importance for the working class in its struggle for freedom against the capitalists. But democracy is by no means a boundary that must not be overstepped; it is only one of the stages in the process of development from feudalism to capitalism, and from capitalism to communism.
**5.4, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*The whole of society will have become a single office and a single factory with equality of work an equality of pay.
**5.4, ''Essential Works of Lenin'' (1966)

*It is still necessary to suppress the bourgeoisie and crush its resistance.

* The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class shall represent and repress them in parliament!
** Ch. 5 {{cite book|last1=Lenin|first1=Vladmir Illych|title=The State and Revolution|date=1917|url=https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/ch05.htm|quote=Marx grasped this essence of capitalist democracy splendidly when, in analyzing the experience of the Commune, he said that the oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class shall represent and repress them in parliament!}}

* The functionaries of our political organizations and trade unions are corrupted — or rather tend to be corrupted — by the conditions of capitalism and betray a tendency to become bureaucrats, i.e., privileged persons divorced from the people and standing above the people.
**[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/ch06.htm Ch. 6]

* '''The Commune is the form &quot;at the discovered&quot; by the proletarian revolution, under which to work out the economic emancipation of labor.'''
** ''The Essential Lenin'', p.312

*The economic basis for the complete withering away of the state is such a high stage of development of communism at which the antithesis between mental and physical labour disappears, at which there consequently disappears one of the principal sources of modern ''social'' quality - a source, moreover, which cannot on any account be removed immediately by the mere conversion of the means of production into public property, by the mere expropriation of the capitalists. 
** ''The Lenin Anthology'', p.379

*Until the &quot;higher&quot; phase of communism arrives, the socialists demand the ''strictest'' control by society ''and by the state'' over the measure of labour and the measure of consumption; but this control must ''start'' with the expropriation of the capitalists, with the establishment of workers' control over the capitalists, and must be exercised not by a state of bureaucrats, but by a state of ''armed workers''. 
**''Lenin Anthology'', p. 380

* Democracy is of enormous importance to the working class in its struggle against the capitalists for its emancipation. But democracy is by no means a boundary not to be overstepped; it is only one of the stages on the road from feudalism to capitalism, and from capitalism to communism. 
**'Lenin Anthology'', p. 380

*Democracy for the cast majority of the people, and suppression by force, i.e., exclusion from democracy, of the exploiters and oppressors of the people - this is the change democracy undergoes during the ''transition'' from capitalism to Communism. 
**''Marxism: Essential Writings'', &quot;The State and Revolution&quot;
[[File:Kulikov Lenin 1924.jpg|thumb|right|If it is necessary for the realization of a well-known political goal to perform a series of brutal actions then it is necessary to do them in the most energetic manner and in the shortest time, because masses of people will not tolerate the protracted use of brutality.]]
[[File:Simbnolo de regla.JPG|thumb|right|When we say &quot;the state,&quot; the state is We, it is we, it is the proletariat, it is the advanced guard of the working class.]]

=== 1920s ===
*The way the enemies of the proletariat take advantage of every deviation from a thoroughly  consistent communist line was perhaps most strikingly shown in the case of the Kronstadt mutiny, when the bourgeois counter-revolutionaries and whiteguards in all countries of the world immediately expressed their readiness to accept the slogans of the Soviet system, if only they might thereby secure the overthrow of the dictatorship of the proletariat in Russia, and when the Socialist revolutionaries and the bourgeois counter-revolutionaries in general resorted in Kronstadt to slogans calling for an insurrection against the Soviet Government of Russia ostensibly in the interest of the Soviet power. 
**&quot;Resolution on Party Unity&quot; (May, 1921)
*Comrades, the question of substituting a tax for grain requisitioning is primarily and mainly a political question for it is essentially a question of the attitude of the working class to the peasantry. 
**Introducing the New Economic Plan, (March, 1921) 
*There is no doubt that in a country where the overwhelming majority of the population consists of small agricultural producers, a socialist revolution can be carried out only through the implementation of a whole series of special transitional measures which would be superfluous in highly developed capitalist countries where wage-workers in industry and agriculture make up the vast majority. 
**Introducing the New Economic Plan, (March, 1921) 
*If there is a crop failure, surpluses cannot be collected because there will be none. They would have to be taken out of the peeasants's mouths. IF there is a crop, everybody will go moderately hungry and the state will be safed, or it will perish, unless we take from people who do not eat their fill as it is. This is what we must make clear in our propaganda among the peasants. A fair harvest will mean a surplus of up to five million ''poods''. This will cover consumption and yield a certain reserve. The important thing is to give the peasants an economic incentive. 
**Introducing the New Economic Plan, (March, 1921)
*'''We have risen to the highest and at the same time the most difficult stage of our historic struggle. Our enemy at the present moment and in the present period is not the same one that faced us yesterday.'''
**&quot;New Times and Old Mistakes in a New Guise&quot;,(August, 1921)
*The danger is great. The enemy is far stronger than we are economically, just as yesterday he was far stronger than we were militarily. 
**&quot;New Times and Old Mistakes in a New Guise&quot;,(August, 1921)
*We have more than fully 'justified' our revolutionary activity; we have shown the whole world by our deeds what proletarian revolutionism is capable. 
**&quot;New Times and Old Mistakes in a New Guise&quot;,(August, 1921)
*Admidst the colossal ruin of the country and the exhaustion of the forces of the proletariat, by a series of almost superhuman efforts, we are tackling the most difficult job: laying the foundations for really existing socialist economy, for the regular exchange of commodities (or, more correctly, exchange of products) between industry and agriculture. 
*Let us get down to work, to slower, more cautious, more persevering and persistent work!
**&quot;New Times and Old Mistakes in a New Guise&quot;,(August, 1921)
*We need a real test. The capitalists are operating alongside us. They are operating like robbers; they make profit; but they know how to do things. But you - you are trying to do it in a new way: you make no profit, your principles  are communist, your ideals are splendid; they are written out so beautifully that you seem to be saints, that you should go to heaven while you are still alive. But can you get things done? We need a test, a real test, not the kind the Central Control Commission makes when it censures somebody and the All-Russia Central Executive Committee imposes some penalty. Yes, we want a real test from the view point of the national economy.
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)
* Retreat is a difficult matter, especially for revolutionaries who are accustomed to advance; especially when they have been accustomed to advance with enormous success for several years; especially if they are surrounded by revolutionaries in other countries who are longing for the time when they can launch an offensive. 
*On the whole, the retreat was fairly orderly, although certain panic stricken voices, among them that of the Workers' Opposition..., caused losses in our ranks, caused a relaxation of discipline, and disturbed the proper order of retreat. '''The most dangerous thing during a retreat is panic.''' 
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)

*'''The retreat has come to an end'''; it is now a matter of regrouping our forces. These are the instructions that the Congress must pass so as to put an end to fuss and bustle. Calm down, do not philosophize; if you do, it will be counted as a black mark against you. Show by your practical efforts that you can work no less efficiently than the capitalists. The capitalists create an economic link with the peasants in order to amass wealth; you must create a link with peasant economy in order to strengthen the economic power of our proletarian state. You have the advantage over the capitalists in that political power is i n your hands; you have a number of economic weapons at your command; the only trouble is that you cannot make proper use of them. 
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)

*'''The idea of building communist society exclusively with the hands of the Communists is childish, absolutely childish. We communists are but a drop in the ocean, a drop in the ocean of the people.'''
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)

*'''Political events are always very confused and complicated. They can be compared with a chain. To hold the whole chain you must grasp the main link. Not a link chosen at random. '''
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)

*'''In the sea of people we are after all but a drop in the ocean, and we can administer only when we express correctly what the people are conscious of. Unless we do this the Communist Party will not lead the proletariat, the proletariat will not lead the masses, and the whole machine will collapse. '''
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)

* When a real army is in retreat, machine guns are kept ready, and when an orderly retreat degenerates into a disorderly one, the command to fire is given, and quite rightly, too. 
** &quot;Communism and New Economic Policy&quot;,(April 1921)
* We stand for an alliance with all countries without exception.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/feb/18a.htm Interview] with [[w:Karl Wiegand|Karl Wiegand]] (18 February 1920); Collected Works'', 4th English Edition, Vol. 30.

* To carry on a war for the overthrow of the international bourgeoisie, a war which is a hundred times more difficult, protracted and complex than the most stubborn of ordinary wars between states, and to renounce in advance any change of tack, or any utilisation of a conflict of interests (even if temporary) among one’s enemies, or any conciliation or compromise with possible allies (even if they are temporary, unstable, vacillating or conditional allies) — is that not ridiculous in the extreme?
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/lwc/ch09.htm ''Left-Wing Communism, An Infantile Disorder'' (April - May 1920)].

*In particular, a free market and capitalism, both subject to state control, are now being permitted and are developing; on the other hand, the socialised state enterprises are being put on what is called a profit basis, i. e., they are being reorganised on commercial lines, which, in view of the general cultural backwardness and exhaustion of the country, will, to a greater or lesser degree, inevitably give rise to the impression among the masses that there is an antagonism of interest between the management of the different enterprises and the workers employed in them.
**“The Role and Functions of the Trade Unions under the New Economic Policy”, LCW, 33, p. 184. Decision Of The C.C., R.C.P.(B.), January 12, 1922. Published in ''Pravda '' No. 12, January 17, 1922; [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/cw/pdf/lenin-cw-vol-33.pdf ''Lenin’s Collected Works''], 2nd English Edition, Progress Publishers, Moscow, 1965, Volume 33, pages 188–196.

* Communism is Soviet government plus the electrification of the whole country. Otherwise the country will remain a country of small peasant economy, and it is up to us to realize this quite clearly.
** ''New External and Internal Position and the Problems of the Party'' (1920); as quoted in ''The Soviet Power : The Socialist Sixth Of The World'' (1940) by Hewlett Johnson.

*The economic basis for a true Socialist Republic does not yet exist… Communism is failing. Russian expectations are not towards communism, but towards capitalism…. The capitalist classes are advancing in serried ranks towards the promised land, destined to become in a few decades one of the greatest productive forces in the world. 
**As quoted in ''The Life of Benito Mussolini'', [[w:Margherita Sarfatti| Margherita Sarfatti]], London: UK. Thornton Butterworth, Ltd., 1926, p. 261, remarks made at the end of 1920.[https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.173841/2015.173841.The-Life-Of-Benito-Mussolini_djvu.txt]

* What we prize most is peace and an opportunity to devote all our efforts to restoring our economy.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1921/feb/06.htm Speech delivered at the Fourth All-Russia Congress of Garment Workers (6 February 1920)]; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 32, pp. 112-119.

* When we are victorious on a world scale I think we shall use gold for the purpose of building public lavatories in the streets of some of the largest cities of the world.
** [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1921/nov/05.htm &quot;The Importance of Gold Now and After the Complete Victory of Socialism&quot; (5 November 1921)], ''Collected Works'', Vol. 33, p. 113.

*Without an alliance with non-Communists in the most diverse spheres of activity there can be no question of any successful communist construction.
**[https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1922/mar/12.htm “On the Significance of Militant Materialism”],  (12 March 1922) 

* We must pursue the removal of church property by any means necessary in order to secure for ourselves a fund of several hundred million gold rubles (do not forget the immense wealth of some monasteries and lauras). Without this fund any government work in general, any economic build-up in particular, and any upholding of soviet principles in Genoa especially is completely unthinkable. In order to get our hands on this fund of several hundred million gold rubles (and perhaps even several hundred billion), we must do whatever is necessary. But to do this successfully is possible only now. All considerations indicate that later on we will fail to do this, for no other time, besides that of desperate famine, will give us such a mood among the general mass of peasants that would ensure us the sympathy of this group, or, at least, would ensure us the neutralization of this group in the sense that victory in the struggle for the removal of church property unquestionably and completely will be on our side. &lt;br&gt; One clever writer on statecraft correctly said that if it is necessary for the realization of a well-known political goal to perform a series of brutal actions then it is necessary to do them in the most energetic manner and in the shortest time, because masses of people will not tolerate the protracted use of brutality. … Now victory over the reactionary clergy is assured us completely. In addition, it will be more difficult for the major part of our foreign adversaries among the Russian emigres abroad, i.e., the Socialist-Revolutionaries and the Milyukovites, to fight against us if we, precisely at this time, precisely in connection with the famine, suppress the reactionary clergy with utmost haste and ruthlessness. &lt;br&gt; Therefore, I come to the indisputable conclusion that we must precisely now smash the Black Hundreds clergy most decisively and ruthlessly and put down all resistance with such brutality that they will not forget it for several decades. … The greater the number of representatives of the reactionary clergy and the reactionary bourgeoisie that we succeed in shooting on this occasion, the better because this &quot;audience&quot; must precisely now be taught a lesson in such a way that they will not dare to think about any resistance whatsoever for several decades.
**[http://www.ibiblio.org/expo/soviet.exhibit/ae2bkhun.html Letter to Comrade Molotov for the Politburo (19 March 1922)]
** Variant translation:
** It is precisely now and only now, when in the starving regions people are eating human flesh, and hundreds if not thousands of corpses are littering the roads, that we can (and therefore must) carry out the confiscation of church valuables. … I come to the categorical conclusion that precisely at this moment we must give battle to the Black Hundred clergy in the most decisive and merciless manner and crush its resistance with such brutality that it will not forget it for decades to come. The greater the number of representatives of the reactionary clergy and reactionary bourgeoisie we succeed in executing for this reason, the better.
*** As translated in ''The Unknown Lenin : From the Secret Archive'' (1996) edited by Richard Pipes, pp. 152-4 &lt;!-- Yale University Press --&gt;

*In Italy, comrades, in Italy there was but a Socialist able enough to lead the people through a revolutionary path, Benito Mussolini.
**As quoted in ''Revolutionary Fascism'', Erik Norling, Lisbon, Finis Mundi Press (2011) p. 28. Lenin express this to [[w:Nicola Bombacci |Nicola Bombacci]] during a reception in the Kremlin.  

* The trial of the insurrectionists from Shuia, for opposing aid to the starving, should be carried out in utmost haste and should end not other than with the shooting of the very largest number of the most influential and dangerous of the Black Hundreds in Shuia, and, if possible, not only in this city but even in Moscow and several other ecclesiastical centers.
** Letter to Comrade [[Vyacheslav Molotov|Molotov]] for the Politburo (19 March 1922).

* I am giving both [[w:Armand Hammer|Armand ''Hammer'']] and B. ''Mishell'' a special recommendation on my own behalf and request all C.C. members to give these persons and their enterprise ''particular'' support. This is a small path leading to the American 'business' world, and this path should be made use of in ''every way''.
** [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1922/may/27.htm Letter to Joseph Stalin] (May 27, 1922), Marxists Internet Archive. Also quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1981/11/29/magazine/the-riddle-of-armand-hammer.html ''The Riddle of Armand Hammer''] (1981)

* When we say &quot;the state,&quot; the state is We, it is we, it is the proletariat, it is the advanced guard of the working class.
** Speech (27 May 1922).

* I absolutely do not pretend in the slightest fashion to knowledge of military science.
** As quoted in ''Stalin : A Biography'' (2004) by Robert Service, p. 183.

*Stalin is too rude and this defect, although quite tolerable in our midst and in dealing among us Communists, becomes intolerable in a Secretary-General. That is why I suggest that the comrades think about a way of removing Stalin from that post and appointing another man in his stead... 
**[https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1922/dec/testamnt/congress.htm    Letter to the Congress] (January 4, 1923)

* Dear Comrade Stalin: You have been so rude as to summon my wife to the telephone and use bad language. Although she had told you that she was prepared to forget this, the fact nevertheless became known through her to Zinoviev and Kamenev. I have no intention of forgetting so easily what has been done against me, and it goes without saying that what has been done against my wife I consider having been done against me as well. I ask you, therefore, to think it over whether you are prepared to withdraw what you have said and to make your apologies, or whether you prefer that relations between us should be broken off. Respectfully yours, Lenin
** [https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1923/mar/05.htm Letter to Joseph Stalin] (March 5, 1923), Marxists Internet Archive.

=== ''[[w:&quot;Left-Wing&quot; Communism: An Infantile Disorder|&quot;Left-Wing&quot; Communism: An Infantile Disorder]]'' (1920) ===
*It is I think, almost universally realized at present that the Bolsheviks could not have retained power for two and a half month, let alone two and a half years, without the most rigorous and truly iron discipline in our Party, or without the fullest unreserved support from the entire mass of the working class, that is, from all thinking, honest, devoted and influential elements in it, capable of leading the backward strata or carrying the latter along with them. 
**CH. 2 An Essential Condition of the Bolsheviks' Success

* I repeat: the experience of the notorious dictatorship of the proletariat in Russia has clearly shown even to those who are incapable of thinking or have had no occasion to give thought to the matter that '''absolute centralisation and rigorous discipline in the proletariat are an essential condition of victory over the bourgeoisie.''' 
**CH. 2 An Essential Condition of the Bolsheviks' Success

*Repudiation of the Party principle and of Party discipline - that is what the opposition has '' arrived at'' . And this  is tantamount to completely disarming the proletariat '' in the interests of the bourgeoisie'' It all ads up to that petty-bourgeois diffuseness and instability, that incapacity for sustained effort, unity and organized actions, which, if encouraged, must inevitably destroy any proletarian revolutionary movement. 
**CH 5, &quot;Left Wing Communism in Germany. The Leaders, the Party, the Class, the Mass&quot;

*The Party is carried on though the Soviets, which embrace the working masses, irrespective of occupation. The district congresses of Soviet are '' democratic'' institutions, the like of which even the best of the democratic republics of the bourgeois world have never known; through these con tresses, as well as by continually appointing class-conscious workers to various posts in the rural districts, the proletariat exercises its role of leader of the peasantry, gives effect to the dictatorship of the urban proletariat, wages, a systematic struggle against the rich, bourgeois, exploiting and profiteering peasantry, etc. 
**CH 5, &quot;Left Wing Communism in Germany. The Leaders, the Party, the Class, the Mass&quot; 

*We are waging a struggle against the &quot;labour aristocracy&quot;  in the name of the masses of the workers and in order to win them over to our side; we are waging struggle against he opportunist and social chauvinist leaders in order to win the working class over to our side. 
**CH 5, &quot;Left Wing Communism in Germany. The Leaders, the Party, the Class, the Mass&quot; 

*Classes still remain, and will remain everywhere '' for years after'' the proletariat's conquest of power. 
**CH 5, &quot;Left Wing Communism in Germany. The Leaders, the Party, the Class, the Mass&quot; 

*The abolition of classes means, not merely ousting the landowners and the capitalists - that is something we accomplished with comparative ease; it also means '' abolishing the small commodity producers'', and they '' cannot be ousted,'' or crushed; we ''must learn to live'' with them. 
**CH 5, &quot;Left Wing Communism in Germany. The Leaders, the Party, the Class, the Mass&quot; 

*The proletarian vanguard has been won over ideologically. 
**CH 10

*One will readily agree that any army which does not train to use all the weapons, all the means and methods of warfare that the enemy possesses, or may posses, is behaving in an unwise or even criminal manner. This applies to politics even more than it does to the art of war. 
**CH 10


*The bourgeoisie sees practically one one aspect of Bolshevism - insurrection, violence, and terror; it therefore strives to prepare itself for resistance and opposition primarily in ''this'' field. It is possible that, in certain instances, in certain countries, and for certain brief periods, it will succeed in this. We must reckon with such an eventuality, and we have absolutely nothing to fear if it does succeed. '''Communism is emerging in positively every sphere of public life; its beginnings are to be seen literally on all sides.'''
**CH 10, ''The Lenin Anthology''

*World revolution has been so powerfully stimulated and accelerated by the horrors, vileness and abominations of the world imperialist war and by the hopelessness of the situation created by it, this revolution is developing in scope and depth with such splendid rapidity, with such a wonderful variety of changing forms, with such an instructive practical refutation of all doctrinairism, that there is every reason to hope for a rapid and complete recovery of the international communist movement from the infantile disorder of &quot;Left-wing&quot; communism. 
**Concluding paragraph, Ch. 10. ''The Lenin Anthology''

* For any truth, if overdone (as [[w:Joseph Dietzgen|Dietzgen]] Senior put it), if exaggerated, or if carried beyond the limits of its applicability, can be reduced to absurdity.

=== ''Collected Works'' ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes as yet only identified by location in the volumes of the ''Collected Works'' — Individual titles and dates of writing or publication should be provided for these, so they can be further sorted by date.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lenin's half face.jpg|thumb|right|One cannot live in society and be free from society.]]
[[File:Vradievka, Monument to Lenin.JPG|thumb|right|To picture world history as advancing smoothly and steadily without sometimes taking gigantic strides backward is undialectical, unscientific and theoretically wrong.]]
[[File:Lenin.WWI.JPG|thumb|right|The natural scientist must be a modern materialist, a conscious adherent of the [[materialism]] represented by Marx, i.e., he must be a dialectical materialist.]]
[[File:Lenin 1920.jpg|thumb|right|To be successful, insurrection must rely not upon conspiracy and not upon a party, but upon the advanced class.]]
[[File:1919 Lenin in Kremlin Courtyard.jpg|thumb|right|Only by abolishing private property in land and building cheap and hygienic dwellings can the housing problem be solved.]]
[[File:2005-08-16 Nizhyn 364.JPG|thumb|right|The state does not function as we desired. The car does not obey. A man is at the wheel and he seems to lead it, but the car does not drive in the desired direction. It moves as another force wishes.]]
[[File:Lenin perfil.jpg|thumb|right|Human reason has discovered many amazing things in nature and will discover still more, and will thereby increase its power over nature.]]
[[File:LeninCesis.jpg|thumb|right|The world is eternally moving and developing matter, reflected by the developing of human consciousness.]]
[[File:2005-08-16 Nizhyn 363.JPG|thumb|right|We have the following of the majority of a class, the vanguard of the revolution, the vanguard of the people, which is capable of carrying the masses with it.]]
* Trade unions and strikes cannot help in times of crisis when there is no demand for this “commodity”, they cannot change the conditions which, convert labour-power into a commodity and which doom the masses of working people to dire need and unemployment. To change these conditions, a revolutionary struggle against the whole existing social and political system is necessary; the industrial crisis will convince very many workers of the justice of this statement.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 5, pp. 25–30.

* It is not for nothing that Skaldin in one part of his book quotes [[Adam Smith]]: we have seen that both his views and the character of his arguments in many respects repeat the theses of that great ideologist of the progressive bourgeoisie.
**Lenin᾿s Collected Works, Vol. 2, pp. 491–534

* Terrorists bow to the spontaneity of the passionate indignation of intellectuals, who lack the ability or opportunity to connect the revolutionary struggle and the working-class movement into an integral whole. It is difficult indeed for those who have lost their belief, or who have never believed, that this is possible, to find some outlet for their indignation and revolutionary energy other than terror.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 5, pp. 347–530

* And, indeed, there could not be any other grouping among our students, because they are the most responsive section of the intelligentsia, and the intelligentsia are so called just because they most consciously, most resolutely and most accurately reflect and express the development of class interests and political groupings in society as a whole.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 7, pp. 43–56

* To call a fight for the Zionist idea of a Jewish nation, for the federal principle of Party organisation, a “fight for the equality of the Jews in the world family of the proletariat” is to degrade the struggle from the plane of ideas and principles to that of suspicion, incitement and fanning of historically-evolved prejudices. It glaringly reveals a lack of real ideas and principles as weapons of struggle.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 7, pp. 92–103.

* One cannot live in society and be free from society.
** ''Collected Works'',Vol. 10, pp. 44–49.

* Present-day society is wholly based on the exploitation of the vast masses of the working class by a tiny minority of the population, the class of the landowners and that of the capitalists. It is a slave society, since the “free” workers, who all their life work for the capitalists, are “entitled” only to such means of subsistence as are essential for the maintenance of slaves who produce profit, for the safeguarding and perpetuation of capitalist slavery.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 10, pp. 83–87.

* Discrimination among citizens on account of their religious convictions is wholly intolerable. Even the bare mention of a citizen's religion in official documents should unquestionably be eliminated.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 10, pp. 83–87.

* We would be deceiving both ourselves and the people if we concealed from the masses the necessity of a desperate, bloody war of extermination, as the immediate task of the coming revolutionary action.
** &quot;Lessons of the Moscow Uprising&quot; ''Collected Works'', Vol. 11, p. 174.

* The proletariat should not ignore peaceful methods of struggle — they serve its ordinary, day-to-day interests, they are necessary in periods of preparation for revolution — but it must never forget that in certain conditions the class struggle assumes the form of armed conflict and civil war; there are times when the interests of the proletariat call for ruthless extermination of its enemies in open armed clashes. This was first demonstrated by the French proletariat in the Commune and brilliantly confirmed by the Russian proletariat in the December uprising.
** [http://www.marx.org/archive/lenin/works/1908/mar/23.htm &quot;Lessons of the Commune&quot;], ''Collected Works'', Vol. 13.

* It is logical to assert that all matter possesses a property which is essentially akin to sensation, the property of reflection.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 14, pp. 17–362.

* Modern militarism is the result of capitalism. In both its forms it is the “vital expression” of capitalism — as a military force used by the capitalist states in their external conflicts and as a weapon in the hands of the ruling classes for suppressing every kind of movement, economic and political, of the proletariat.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 15, pp. 191–201.

* Down with all colonial policy, down with the whole policy of intervention and capitalist struggle for the conquest of foreign lands and foreign populations, for new privileges, new markets, control of the Straits, etc.!
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 15, p. 229.

*The real emancipation of the Chinese people from age-long slavery would be impossible without the great, sincerely democratic enthusiasm which is rousing the working masses and making them capable of miracles, and which is evident from every sentence of Sun Yat-sen's platform.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 18, pp. 163–169.

* The worker is becoming impoverished absolutely, i.e., he is actually becoming poorer than before; he is compelled to live worse, to eat worse, to suffer hunger more, and to live in basements and attics.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 18, pp. 435–436.

* Shame on America for the plight of the Negroes!
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 18, p. 543–544.

* Complete equality of rights for all nations; the right of nations to self-determination; the unity of the workers of all nations — such is the national programme that Marxism, the experience of the whole world, and the experience of Russia, teach the workers.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 20, pp. 393–454.

* Pacifism, the preaching of peace in the abstract, is one of the means of duping the working class.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 21, pp. 158–164.

* A United States of Europe is possible as an agreement between the European capitalists ... but to what end? Only for the purpose of jointly suppressing socialism in Europe
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 21, p 341.

* To picture world history as advancing smoothly and steadily without sometimes taking gigantic strides backward is undialectical, unscientific and theoretically wrong
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 22, pp. 305–319.

* Socialism, by organising production without class oppression, by ensuring the well-being of all members of the state, gives full play to the “sympathies” of the population, thereby promoting and greatly accelerating the drawing together and fusion of the nations.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 22, pp. 320–360.

* The entire trend of development is towards abolition of coercive domination of one part of society over another.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 23, pp. 28–76.

* To become a power the class-conscious workers must win the majority to their side. As long as no violence is used against the people there is no other road to power. We are not Blancists, we do not stand for the seizure of power by a minority.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24, pp. 38–41.

* Humanity has not yet evolved and we do not as yet know a type of government superior to and better than the Soviets of Workers', Agricultural Labourers', Peasants', and Soldiers' Deputies.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24, pp. 38–41.

* The passing of state power from one class to another is the first, the principal, the basic sign of a revolution, both in the strictly scientific and in the practical political meaning of that term.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24, pp. 42–54.

* Our aim is to achieve a socialist system of society, which, by eliminating the division of mankind into classes, by eliminating all exploitation of man by man and nation by nation, will inevitably eliminate the very possibility of war.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24, pp. 398–421.

*Only by abolishing private property in land and building cheap and hygienic dwellings can the housing problem be solved.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 24, p. 455–480.

* To decide once every few years which members of the ruling class is to repress and crush the people through parliament — this is the real essence of bourgeois parliamentarism, not only in parliamentary- constitutional monarchies, but also in the most democratic republics.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 25, p. 381–492.

* We have the following of the majority of a class, the vanguard of the revolution, the vanguard of the people, which is capable of carrying the masses with it.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 22–27.

* To be successful, insurrection must rely not upon conspiracy and not upon a party, but upon the advanced class. That is the first point. Insurrection must rely upon a revolutionary upsurge of the people. That is the second point. Insurrection must rely upon that turning-point in the history of the growing revolution when the activity of the advanced ranks of the people is at its height, and when the vacillations in the ranks of the enemy and in the ranks of the weak, half-hearted and irresolute friends of the revolution are strongest. That is the third point. And these three conditions for raising the question of insurrection distinguish Marxism from Blanquism.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 22–27.

* We love our language and our country, and we are doing our very utmost to raise her toiling masses (i.e., nine-tenths of her population) to the level of a democratic and socialist consciousness.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, p. 107.

* We have invited and continue to invite the [[w:Left Socialist-Revolutionaries|Left Socialist-Revolutionaries]] to share power with us.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 304–308.

* The civil war which was started by the Cadet-Kaledin counter-revolutionary revolt against the Soviet authorities, against the workers' and peasants' government, has finally brought the class struggle to a head and has destroyed every chance of setting in a formally democratic way the very acute problems with which history has confronted the peoples of Russia, and in the first place her working class and peasants.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 379–383.

* The bourgeois court, which claimed to maintain order, but which, as a matter of fact, was a blind, subtle instrument for the ruthless suppression of the exploited, and an instrument for protecting the interests of the moneybags.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 26, pp. 453–482.

* History is moving in zig-zags and by roundabout ways.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 27, pp. 159–63.

* The bourgeoisie are today evading taxation by bribery and through their connections; we must close all loopholes.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 27, pp. 383–387.

*The capture of Simbirsk, my home town, is a wonderful tonic, the best treatment for my wounds. I feel a new lease of life and energy.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 28, p. 98.

* No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 28, pp. 113–126.

* America has become one of the foremost countries in regard to the depth of the abyss which lies between the handful of arrogant multimillionaires who wallow in filth and luxury, and the millions of working people who constantly live on the verge of pauperism.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 28, p. 62–75.

* The status of women up to now has been compared to that of a slave; women have been tied to the home, and only socialism can save them from this. They will only be completely emancipated when we change from small-scale individual [[farming]] to collective farming and collective working of the land.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 28, pp. 180–182.

* Communism cannot be imposed by force.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 29, pp. 141–225.

* The practical activity of man had to lead his consciousness to the reptetition of various logical figures thousands of millions of times in order that these figures could obtain the significance of axioms.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 29, p. 172.

* Shame on accursed tsarism which tortured and persecuted the Jews. Shame on those who foment hatred towards the Jews, who foment hatred towards other nations.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 29, p. 252–53.

* The truth about Kolchak (and his double, Denikin) has now been revealed in full. The shooting of tens of thousands of workers. The shooting even of Mensheviks and Socialist-Revolutionaries. The flogging of peasants of entire districts. The public flogging of women. The absolutely unbridled power of the officers, the sons of landowners. Endless looting. Such is the truth about Kolchak and Denikin.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 29, p. 436–455.

* The [[proletarian revolution]] is impossible without the sympathy and support of the overwhelming majority of the working people.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30, pp. 52–62.

* For the first time the peasant has seen real freedom — freedom to eat his bread, freedom from starvation.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30, pp. 107–117.

*Do everything to demonstrate, and in the most emphatic manner, our sympathy for the Moslems, their autonomy, independence, etc.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30, p. 494.

* What the Soviet Constitution gives us no other state has been able to give in two hundred years.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 30, p. 502–15, [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/apr/07.htm Third All-Russia Trade Union Congress]

* You can become a Communist only when you enrich your mind with a knowledge of all the treasures created by mankind.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 31.

* From the vulgar bourgeois standpoint the terms dictatorship and democracy are mutually exclusive. Failing to understand the theory of class struggle, and accustomed to seeing in the political arena the petty squabbling of the various bourgeois circles and coteries, the bourgeois conceives dictatorship to mean the annulment of all the liberties and guarantees of democracy, tyranny of every kind, and every sort of abuse of power in the personal interests of a dictator.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 31.

* The proletarian state must effect the transition to collective [[farming]] with extreme caution and only very gradually, by the force of example, without any coercion of the middle peasant.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 31, pp. 152–64.

* The Labour Party is a thoroughly bourgeois party, because, although made up of workers, it is led by reactionaries, and the worst kind of reactionaries at that, who act quite in the spirit of the bourgeoisie. It is an organisation of the bourgeoisie, which exists to systematically dupe the workers with the aid of the British Noskes and Scheidemanns.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 31, pp. 213–63.

* As long as the bourgeois parliament remains a means of duping the workers, and phrases about “democracy” are used to cover up financial swindling and every kind of bribery (the particularly “subtle” brand of bribery the bourgeoisie practise with regard to writers, N.P.s, lawyers, and others is nowhere to be seen on so wide a scale as in the bourgeois parliament), we Communists are in duty bound to be in this very institution (which is supposed to express the people's will but actually covers up the deception of the people by the wealthy) to untiringly expose this deception, and expose each and every case of the Renners and Co.’s desertion to the capitalists, against the workers
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 31, pp. 267–69.

* There are at present 300,000 bourgeois in the Crimea. These are a source of future profiteering, espionage and every kind of aid to the capitalists. However, we are not afraid of them. We say that we shall take and distribute them, make them submit, and assimilate them.
** ''Collected Works'', 4th English Edition, Vol. 31, pp. 438–59.

* A full definition of an object must include the whole of human experience, both as a criterion of truth and a practical indicator of its connection with human wants.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 32, p.  94.

* All over the world, wherever there are capitalists, [[freedom of the press]] means freedom to buy up newspapers, to buy writers, to bribe, buy and fake “public opinion” for the benefit of the bourgeoisie.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 32, pp. 504–9.

* The natural scientist must be a modern materialist, a conscious adherent of the [[materialism]] represented by Marx, i.e., he must be a dialectical materialist.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 33, pp. 227–36.

* Rectilinearity and one-sidedness, woodenness and petrification, subjectivism and subjective blindness — voilà the epistemological roots of idealism.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 38, pp. 357–61

* Tsar Nicholas the Bloody, who has dispersed the First and Second Dumas, who has drowned Russia in blood, enslaved Poland and Finland, and is in alliance with out — and-out reactionaries conducting a policy of stifling the Jews and all “aliens”, the tsar whose loyal friends shot down the workers on the Lena and ruined the peasants to the point of starvation all over Russia — that tsar pretends to be the champion of Slav independence and freedom!&quot;
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 41, pp. 262–66

* Hundreds of thousands and millions of [[wage]] slaves of capital and peasants downtrodden by the serf-owners are going to the slaughter for the dynastic interests of a handful of crowned brigands, for the profits of the bourgeoisie in its drive to plunder foreign lands.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 41.

* To hoard surpluses of grain and other food products at a time when the people in Petrograd, in Moscow, and in dozens of non-agricultural uyezds are not only suffering from a shortage of bread, but are cruelly starving, is an enormous crime deserving the most ruthless punishment.
** ''Collected Works'', Vol. 42, pp. 94–95.

=== Attributions ===
[[File:Emblema Pioneros URSS.svg|thumb|right|Every cook must learn to rule the State.]]


* I am not fond of the Germans by any means but at the present time it is more advantageous to use them than to challenge them. An independent Poland is very dangerous to Soviet Russia: it is an evil which, however, at the present time has also its redeeming features; for while it exists, we may safely count on Germany, because the Germans hate Poland and will at any time make common cause with us in order to strangle Poland. … Everything teaches us to look upon Germany as our most reliable ally. Germany wants revenge, and we want revolution. For the moment our aims are the same. When our ways part they will be our most ferocious and our great enemies. Time will tell whether a German hegemony or a Communist federation is to arise out of the ruins of Europe.
** Quoted from a &quot;Speech to followers&quot; by ''Ost-Information'' (Berlin), No. 81 (4 December 1920); as quoted in ''The Foreign Policies of Soviet Russia'' (1924) by A. L. O. Dennis, p. 154.

* Ничего не знаю лучше «Apassionata», готов слушать ее каждый день. Изумительная, нечеловеческая музыка. Я всегда с гордостью, может быть, наивной, детской, думаю: вот какие чудеса могут делать люди ... Но часто слушать музыку не могу, действует на нервы, хочется милые глупости говорить и гладить по головкам людей, которые, живя в грязном аду, могут создавать такую красоту. А сегодня гладить по головке никого нельзя — руку откусят, и надобно бить по головкам, бить безжалостно, хотя мы, в идеале, против всякого насилия над людьми. Гм-гм, - должность адски трудная!
** I know of nothing better than the [[w:Piano Sonata No. 23 (Beethoven)|Appassionata]] and could listen to it every day. What astonishing, superhuman music! It always makes me proud, perhaps with a childish naiveté, to think that people can work such miracles! ... But I can't listen to music very often, it affects my nerves. I want to say sweet, silly things, and pat the little heads of people who, living in a filthy hell, can create such beauty. These days, one can't pat anyone on the head nowadays, they might bite your hand off. Hence, you have to beat people's little heads, beat mercilessly, although ideally we are against doing any violence to people. Hm — what a devillishly difficult job!
*** From a personal conversation, quoted from memory by [[Maxim Gorky]] in [http://www.marxists.org/archive/gorky-maxim/1924/01/x01.htm &quot;V.I. Lenin&quot; (1924)] &lt;!-- first edition --&gt;

*Give me four years to teach the children, and the seed I have sown shall never be uprooted. 
**As quoted in Pan-Sovietism: The Issue Before America and the World, [[w:Bruce Campbell Hopper |Bruce Campbell Hopper]], Boston and New York, Houghton Mifflin Company (1931) p. 87 

* Every cook must learn to rule the State.
** As quoted in ''Woman's Place'' by Florence Becker, in ''New International'', Vol. 2 No. 5 (August 1935), pp.175-176; also in ''Woman in Soviet Russia'' (1935) by Fannina W. Halle.

* It is true that liberty is precious — so precious that it must be rationed.
** As quoted in ''Soviet Communism : A New Civilization?'' (1936) by Sidney &amp; Beatrice Webb

* The nearer we come to the full military suppression of the bourgeoisie, the more dangerous becomes to us the high flood of petty-bourgeois [[Anarchism]]. And the struggle against these elements cannot be waged with propaganda and agitation alone. ... The struggle must also be waged by applying force and compulsion.
** ''The Guillotine At Work : Twenty Years of Terror In Russia'' (1940) by Grigoriĭ Petrovich Maksimov, p. 38.

* They will furnish credits which will serve us for the support of the Communist Party in their countries and, by supplying us materials and technical equipment which we lack, will restore our military industry necessary for our future attacks against our suppliers. To put it in other words, they will work on the preparation of their own suicide.
** Reported by I. U. Annenkov in an article entitled, &quot;Remembrances of Lenin&quot;, ''Novyi Zhurnal/New Review'' (September 1961), p. 147.

* Those who are opposed to armed uprising ... must be ruthlessly kicked out as enemies, traitors and cowards.
**Statements attributed to Lenin in [http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,870884,00.html &quot;Communists: The Battle over the Tomb&quot; in ''TIME'' (24 April 1964)].

* I don't care what becomes of Russia. To hell with it ... All this is only the road to a World Revolution.
** Statement after the October Revolution of 1917, as quoted in &quot;Communists: The Battle over the Tomb&quot; in ''TIME'' (24 April 1964).

* It is in prison ... that one becomes a real revolutionary.
** Attributed in &quot;Communists: The Battle over the Tomb&quot; in ''TIME'' (24 April 1964).

*We can and must write in a language which sows among the masses hate, revulsion, and scorn toward those who disagree with us.
**Quote from [[Max Eastman]], ''Reflections on the Failure of Socialism'', Devin-Adair (1981) p. 87

* The state does not function as we desired. The car does not obey. A man is at the wheel and he seems to lead it, but the car does not drive in the desired direction. It moves as another force wishes.
** As quoted in ''A Fate Worse than Debt'' (1988) Susan George.

* It is stupid to tolerate &quot;Nikola;&quot; all Chekists have to be on alert to shoot anyone who doesn't turn up to work because of &quot;Nikola.&quot;
** Nikola&quot; here is St. Nickolas' Day, as quoted in ''Autopsy for an Empire'' (1998) by Dmitri Volkogonov, p. 74.

* Russians are too kind, they lack the ability to apply determined methods of revolutionary terror.
** As quoted in ''Lenin: Life and Legacy'' (1994) by [[w:Dmitri Volkogonov|Dmitri Volkogonov]], p. 203.

* Disorderly, unorganised and petty terrorist acts may, if carried to extremes, only scatter and squander our forces. That is a fact, which, of course, should not be forgotten. On the other hand, under no circumstances should it be forgotten that a slogan calling for an uprising has already been issued, that the uprising has already begun. To launch attacks under favourable circumstances is not only every revolutionary's right, but his plain duty. The killing of spies, policemen, gendarmes, the blowing up of police stations, the liberation of prisoners, the seizure of government funds for the needs of the uprising—such operations are already being carried   out wherever insurrection is rife, in Poland and in the Caucasus, and every detachment of the revolutionary army must be ready to start such operations at a moment's notice. Each group should remember that if it allows a favourable opportunity for such an operation to slip by today, it will be guilty of unpardonable inactivity, of passivity—and such an offence is the greatest crime a revolutionary can commit at a time of insurrection, the greatest disgrace that can befall anyone who is striving for liberty in deed, and not in word alone.
** As quoted in ''Tasks of Revolutionary Army Contingents, Collected Works, Vol. 9'', pages. 420-24.

* We would be deceiving both ourselves and the people if we concealed from the masses the necessity of a desperate, bloody war of extermination, as the immediate task of the coming revolutionary action.
** As quoted in ''Lessons of the Moscow Uprising, Collected Works, Vol. 11'', page 174.

* There are times when the interests of the proletariat call for ruthless extermination of its enemies in open armed clashes.”
** As quoted in ''Lessons of the Commune, Collected Works, Vol. 13'', page 478.

* He who accepts the class struggle cannot fail to accept civil wars, which in every class society are the natural, and under certain conditions inevitable, continuation, development and intensification of the class struggle… To repudiate civil war, or to forget about it, is to fall into extreme opportunism and renounce the socialist revolution.
** As quoted in ''The Military Programme of the Proletarian Revolution, Collected Works, Vol. 23'', pages 78-9.

* War to the death against the rich and their hangers-on, the bourgeois intellectuals... ‘He who does not work, neither shall he eat’ – this is the practical commandment of socialism... [Our] common aim [is] to clean the land of Russia of all vermin, of fleas – the rogues, of bugs – the rich, and so on and so forth.
** As quoted in ''How to Organise Competition? Collected Works, Vol. 26'', pages. 411, 414.

* Not a single problem of the class struggle has ever been solved in history except by violence... The class struggle did not accidentally assume its latest form, the form in which the exploited class takes all the means of power in its own hands in order to completely destroy its class enemy, the bourgeoisie...
** As quoted in ''Report on the Activities of the Council of People’s Commissars, Collected Works, Vol. 26'', pages 459-61.

* We can't expect to get anywhere unless we resort to terrorism: speculators must be shot on the spot. Moreover, bandits must be dealt with just as resolutely: they must be shot on the spot.
** As quoted in ''Meeting of the Presidium of the Petrograd Soviet With Delegates From the Food Supply Organisations, Collected Works, Vol. 26'', page 501.

* Surely you do not imagine that we shall be victorious without applying the most cruel revolutionary terror?
** As quoted in George Leggett, ''The Cheka: Lenin’s Political Police'' (1981), page 57.

* ... prepare eveything to burn Baku to the ground, if there is an attack...
** As quoted in Richard Pipes, ''The Unknown Lenin: From the Secret Archive'' (1996), page 46.

* ... carry out merciless mass terror against the kulaks, priests and White Guards; unreliable elements to be locked up in a concentration camp outside the town.
** As quoted in George Leggett, ''The Cheka: Lenin’s Political Police'' (1981), page 103.

* The uprising of the five kulak districts should be mercilessly suppressed... Hang (hang without fail, so the people see) no fewer than one hundred kulaks, rich men, bloodsuckers... Do it in such a way that for hundreds of versts [km] around, the people will see, tremble, know, shout: they are strangling and will strangle to death the bloodsucker kulaks.
** As quoted in Richard Pipes, ''The Unknown Lenin: From the Secret Archive'' (1996), page 50.

* About three million must be regarded as middle peasants, while barely two million consist of kulaks, rich peasants, grain profiteers... Ruthless war on the kulaks! Death to them! ... [Class struggle entails] ruthless suppression of the kulaks, those bloodsuckers, vampires, plunderers of the people and profiteers, who batten on famine.
** As quoted in ''Comrade Workers, Forward To The Last, Decisive Fight!'' Collected Works, Vol. 28, pages 53-7.

* I am confident that the suppression of the Kazan Czechs and White Guards, and likewise of the bloodsucking kulaks who support them, will be a model of mercilessness.
** As quoted in George Leggett, ''The Cheka: Lenin’s Political Police'' (1981), p. 119.

* Dictatorship is rule based directly upon force and unrestricted by any laws. The revolutionary dictatorship of the proletariat is rule won and maintained by the use of violence by the proletariat against the bourgeoisie, rule that is unrestricted by any laws.
** As quoted in ''The Proletarian Revolution and the Renegade Kautsky'' (1972), p. 11.

* ... when people charge us with harshness we wonder how they can forget the rudiments of Marxism.
** As quoted in ''Speech All-Russia Extraordinary Commission Staff, Collected Works, Vol. 28'', pp. 169-70.

* ... catch and shoot the Astrakhan speculators and bribe-takers. These swine have to be dealt [with] so that everyone will remember it for years.
** As quoted in Dmitri Volkogonov, ''Lenin: Life and Legacy'' (1994), p. 201.

* When we are reproached with having established a dictatorship of one party... we say, ‘Yes, it is a dictatorship of one party! This is what we stand for and we shall not shift from that position...’”
** As quoted in ''Speech to the First All-Russia Congress of Workers in Education and Socialist Culture, Collected Works, Vol. 29'', p. 535).

* Russians are too kind, they lack the ability to apply determined methods of revolutionary terror.
** As quoted in Dmitri Volkogonov, ''Lenin: Life and Legacy'' (1994), p. 203.

* Use both bribery and threats to exterminate every Cossack to a man if they set fire to the oil in Guriev.
** As quoted in Richard Pipes, ''The Unknown Lenin: From the Secret Archive'' (1996), p. 69.

* Treat the Jews (express it politely: Jewish petty bourgeoisie) and urban inhabitants in the Ukraine with an iron rod, transferring them to the front, not letting them into the government agencies (except in an insignificant percentage, in particularly exceptional circumstances, under class control).
** As quoted in Richard Pipes, ''The Unknown Lenin: From the Secret Archive'' (1996), p. 77.

*To become the ruling class and defeat the bourgeoisie the proletariat must be ''schooled'', because the skill this implies does not come ready-made, The proletariat must do its learning in the struggle, and stubborn, desperate struggle in earnest is the only real teacher. The greater the extremes of the exploiters' resistance, the more vigorously, firmly, ruthlessly  and successfully will they be suppressed by the exploited. 
**&quot;Fight at the fall of the old and the Fight for the New&quot;, ''Lenin Anthology''

* It is precisely now and only now, when in the starving regions people are eating human flesh, and hundreds if not thousands of corpses are littering the roads, that we can (and therefore must) carry out the confiscation of church valuables... I come to the categorical conclusion that precisely at this moment we must give battle to the Black Hundred clergy in the most decisive and merciless manner and crush its resistance with such brutality that it will not forget it for decades to come... The greater the number of representatives of the reactionary clergy and reactionary bourgeoisie we succeed in executing for this reason, the better.”
** As quoted in Richard Pipes, ''The Unknown Lenin: From the Secret Archive'' (1996), pp. 152-4.

* The train of history makes sharp turns and those who are not skilled riders fall off the train.
** As quoted in Dorothy Healey, ''California Red: A Life in the American Communist Party'' (1993), p. 81.
**Variant: &quot;When the train of history makes a sharp turn, said Lenin, the passengers who do not have a good grip on their seats are thrown off.&quot; Whittaker Chambers, ''The Revolt of the Intellectuals'', TIME magazine, January 6, 1941.

*The wall is rotten. One good shove and it will collapse.
**As quoted by [[Tariq Ali]] in ''The Dilemmas of Lenin'', in response to a officer asking &quot;Why are you causing trouble, young man? You're breaking your head against a wall.&quot;
*The Government of the proletarian dictatorship, together with the Communist Party and trade unions, is of course leaving no stone unturned in the effort to overcome the backward ideas of men and women, to destroy the old un-communist psychology. In law there is naturally complete equality of rights for men and women. And everywhere there is evidence of a sincere wish to put this equality into practice. We are bringing the women into the social economy, into legislation and government. All educational institutions are open to them, so that they can increase their professional and social capacities. We are establishing communal kitchens and public eating-houses, laundries and repairing shops, nurseries, kindergartens, children's homes, educational institutes of all kinds. In short, we are seriously carrying out the demand in our programme for the transference of the economic and educational functions of the separate household to society. That will mean freedom for the woman from the old household drudgery and dependence on man. That enables her to exercise to the full her talents and her inclinations. The children are brought up under more favourable conditions than at home. 
**As quoted by Clara Zetkin in &quot;Lenin on the Women’s Question&quot;, ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/zetkin/1920/lenin/zetkin1.htm My Memorandum Book]'', 1920.

* There are no morals in politics; there is only expedience. (Морали в политике нет, а есть только целесообразность.)
** As quoted in S. D. Mstislavskii (1925), ''Memoirs''.[https://twitter.com/DrRadchenko/status/1475027465588416512]

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==
* By destroying the peasant economy and driving the peasant from the country to the town, the famine creates a proletariat... Furthermore the famine can and should be a progressive factor not only economically. It will force the peasant to reflect on the bases of the capitalist system, demolish faith in the tsar and tsarism, and consequently in due course make the victory of the revolution easier... Psychologically all this talk about feeding the starving and so on essentially reflects the usual sugary sentimentality of our intelligentsia.
** From V. Vodovozov's memoirs about Lenin's position regarding the famine of 1891-1892, which is often cited
*** Was falsely attributed to Lenin by Michael Ellman, The Role of Leadership Perceptions and of Intent in the Soviet Famine of 1931-1934, Europe-Asia Studies, September 2005, page 823
* Fascism is capitalism in decay.
** [https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/fascism_is_capitalism_in_decay According to barrypopik.com], There is no evidence Lenin ever said this. It more likely comes from a book by [[w:Rajani Palme Dutt|Rajani Palme Dutt]], ''Fascism and Social Revolution: A Study of the Economics and Politics of the Last Stages of Capitalism in Decay'' (1935). This quote was cited as being from Lenin in print in 1968.
* First, we will take Eastern Europe, then the masses of Asia, then we will encircle the United States which will be the last bastion of capitalism. We will not have to attack. It will fall like an overripe fruit into our hands.
** Cardinal [[w:Francis Spellman|Francis Spellman]] used this attribution in his speech to the 1954 National Convention of the American Legion. It has been debunked repeatedly, for example in ''They Never Said It'' (1999) by Paul F. Boller and John H. George. The last two sentences have also been misattributed to [[Nikita Krushchev]]. The metaphor of the ripe fruit appears much earlier in US policy discussions about Cuba:
*** If an apple, severed by the tempest from its native tree, cannot choose but fall to the ground, Cuba, forcibly disjoined from its unnatural connexion with Spain, and incapable of self-support, can only gravitate towards the North American Union.
**** [[John Quincy Adams]], letter to Hugh Nelson (28 April 1823)
*** The fruit will fall into our hands when it is ripe, without an officious shaking of the tree. Cuba will be ours ... in due season, without the wicked impertinence of war.
**** Parke Godwin, &quot;Annexation&quot; (February 1854)
*We will hang the capitalists with the rope that they sell us.
**According to the book, &quot;They Never Said It&quot;, p. 64, there is no evidence Lenin ever said this.  Lenin was supposed to have made his observation to one of his close associates, Grigori Zinoviev, not long after a meeting of the Politburo in the early 1920s, but there is no evidence that he ever did. Experts on the Soviet Union reject the rope quote as spurious.
* Practice is the criterion of truth.
** [[Mao Zedong]], &quot;On Practice&quot; (1937)

* The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them down between the millstones of taxation and inflation.
** [[John Maynard Keynes]], [http://blog.skepticallibertarian.com/2013/04/15/fake-quote-files-v-i-lenin-on-inflation-and-taxation/ paraphrase of Lenin Interview]

* Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state.
** Fabricated quote from ''The Voluntary Way is the American Way'' (1949) by PR firm Whitaker and Baxter. According to ''The Heart of Power'' by David Blumenthal and James Morone (pp. 91-92)
**: Whitaker and Baxter published a fifteen-page pamphlet of questions and answers entitled ''The Voluntary Way is the American Way'', which, deep in the Q&amp;A, concocted a quotation from Lenin:
**:: ''Q:'' Would socialized medicine lead to socialization of other phases of American life?
**:: ''A:'' Lenin thought so. He declared: socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state.
**: Senator Murray asked the Library of Congress to track down the quote and, as expected, they found nothing like it—most scholars assume Whitaker and Baxter dreamed it up.
** Alternate form: &quot;Socialized medicine is a keystone to the establishment of a socialist state.&quot;

* One man with a gun can control 100 without one.
** Not found in Lenin's ''Collected Works''. Began to surface on the internet in the mid-1990s.

* There are decades when weeks happen, and weeks when decades happen.
** or: There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.
** Always without citation but supposedly describing the Russian Revolution; earliest quotes online dating ~2005-2006 [http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Europe/ExposingBigLie_GGalloway.html &quot;Exposing the Big Lie: Interview with George Galloway by Eric Ruder&quot;] 
** May be loosely based on this phrase from Lenin in &quot;[https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/mar/11.htm The Chief Task of Our Day]&quot; (1918):
*** &quot;In the space of a few days we destroyed one of the oldest, most powerful, barbarous and brutal of monarchies. In the space of a few months we passed through a number of stages of collaboration with the bourgeoisie and of shaking off petty-bourgeois illusions, for which other countries have required decades.&quot;
** [http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-why-wont-israel-just-exchange-prisoners-6094888.html &quot;Johann Hari: Why won't Israel just exchange prisoners? This is such a wacky, left-wing ideal that it was pursued by Ariel Sharon two years ago&quot;], 19 July 2006; popularized describing the Arab Spring. May be loosely based on a similar phrasing by Karl Marx:
*** How soon the English workers will throw off what seems to be a bourgeois contagion remains to be seen. So far as the main theses in your book [''Condition of the Working Class in England''] are concerned, by the by, they have been corroborated down to the very last detail by developments subsequent to 1844. For I have again been comparing the book with the notes I made on the ensuing period. Only your small-minded German philistine who measures world history by the ell and by what he happens to think are ‘interesting news items’, could regard 20 years as more than a day where major developments of this kind are concerned, though these may be again succeeded by days into which 20 years are compressed.
** [http://marxists.catbull.com/archive/marx/works/1863/letters/63_04_09.htm Letter, Marx to Engels, 9 April 1863 in Marx and Engels, ''Selected Correspondence'' 1965, 140]

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Lenin ==
[[File:Doctored Stalin-Lenin.jpg|thumb|right|Lenin was sent into Russia by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of typhoid or cholera to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy. ― [[w:Winston Churchill|Winston Churchill]]]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author or source &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Stalin Lenin jk.jpg|thumb|right|The names of Lenin, [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]], and [[Adolf Hitler | Hitler]] will forever be linked to the tragic course of European history in the first half of the twentieth century. ― [[w:Robert Gellately|Robert Gellately]]]]

* Lenin is a fighter --- revolutionary leaders must be such. In this sense Lenin is great --- in his oneness with himself, in his single-mindedness; in his psychic positiveness that is as self-sacrificial as it is ruthless to others, in the full assurance that only his plan can save mankind. 
**[[Alexander Berkman]], The Bolshevik Myth

* The day Lenin passed away&lt;br&gt;A soldier of the death watch, so runs the story, told his comrades: I did not want to&lt;br&gt;Believe it. I went inside, and&lt;br&gt;Shouted in his ear: ‘Ilyich&lt;br&gt;The exploiters are on their way!’ He did not move. Now&lt;br&gt;I knew that he has expired.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When Lenin passed away and was missed&lt;br&gt;The victory had been won, but the land lay waste&lt;br&gt;The masses had set out, but&lt;br&gt;The way was dark&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As Lenin passed away&lt;br&gt;Soldiers, sitting on the footpaths, wept&lt;br&gt;And the workers went away from their machines&lt;br&gt;And clenched their fists.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As Lenin went, it was&lt;br&gt;As if the tree said to its leaves&lt;br&gt;I am off.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Lenin is enshrined&lt;br&gt;In the large heart of the working-class,&lt;br&gt;He was our teacher.&lt;br&gt;He carried on the struggle along with us.&lt;br&gt;He is enshrined&lt;br&gt;In the large heart of the working class.
**[[Bertolt Brecht]] &quot;Cantata on the Day of Lenin’s Death&quot;  &lt;ref&gt;https://challenge-magazine.org/2020/05/06/poetry-corner-a-few-poems-for-lenins-birthday/&lt;/ref&gt; &lt;ref&gt;https://cornucopiados.blogspot.com/2008/10/cantata-on-day-of-lenins-death-cita.html&lt;/ref&gt;

* [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and Lenin represent precisely the two human personalities that will mark the passage between prehistory and the history of mankind.
** [[Fidel Castro]], [http://www.cuba.cu/gobierno/discursos/1970/esp/f220470e.html Speech (22 April 1970)]

* The figure of Lenin is a giant in history and his luminous ideas represents the common heritage of revolutionary fighters in every corner of the Earth.
** [[Fidel Castro]], [http://www.cuba.cu/gobierno/discursos/1972/esp/f221272e.html Speech (22 December 1972)]

*The victory of Leninism is acclaimed by the people of the whole world, and at the same time cannot but incur the enmity of the imperialists and all reactionaries. The imperialists, to weaken the influence of Leninism and paralyse the revolutionary will of the masses, have launched the most barbarous and despicable attacks and slanders against Leninism, and, moreover, bought up and utilized the vacillators and renegades within the workers' movement, directing them to distort and emasculate the teachings of Lenin. At the end of the nineteenth century when Marxism was putting various anti-Marxist trends to rout, spreading widely throughout the workers' movement and gaining a predominant position, the revisionists represented by Bernstein advanced their revisions of the teachings of Marx to meet the needs of the bourgeoisie. Now, when Leninism has won great victories in guiding the working class and all oppressed classes and nations of the world in onslaughts against imperialism and all kinds of reactionaries, the modern revisionists represented by Tito have advanced their revisions of the teachings of Lenin (that is, modern Marxist teachings), to meet the needs of the imperialists. 
**[https://www.marxists.org/history/international/comintern/sino-soviet-split/cpc/leninism.htm|The Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party, 1960.]

* Lenin was a right-wing deviation of the socialist movement and he was so regarded...by the mainstream Marxists. ... Bolshevism was a right-wing deviation.
** [[Noam Chomsky | Noam Chomsky]], Speech on “Lenin, Trotsky and Socialism &amp; the Soviet Union”, (March 15, 1989) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQsceZ9skQI]

* There was nothing remotely like socialism in the Soviet Union. ... [Lenin] didn't believe that it was possible to have socialism in the Soviet Union. ... He kept the view that the Soviet revolution was a holding action, they just kind of hold things in place, until the real revolution took place in Germany... That, presumably, gave some sort of justification for eliminating the socialist institutions.
** [[Noam Chomsky | Noam Chomsky]], Speech on “Lenin, Trotsky and Socialism &amp; the Soviet Union”, (March 15, 1989) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQsceZ9skQI]

*Lenin was sent into Russia by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of typhoid or cholera to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy.
** [[Winston Churchill]], On Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, in the House of Commons, November 5, 1919 as cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), Ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 355.

* There was an old bastard named Lenin&lt;br&gt;Who did two or three million men in.&lt;br&gt; That's a lot to have done in&lt;br&gt;But where he did one in&lt;br&gt;That old bastard [[Stalin]] did ten in.
** [[w:Robert Conquest|Robert Conquest]], as quoted in ''Hitch 22: A Memoir'' by [[Christopher Hitchens]] (2011)

*Vladimir Ilyich Lenin  (2.2) 5 7 1 6 3 (his point in evolution &amp;  rays)  
**[[Benjamin Creme]] in ''Maitreya's Mission Vol. III'', Appendix, The List of [[Initiation (theosophy)|Initiates]], Their rays and stage of evolution. p. 650 (1997)  

*Lenin and Trotsky were the men of the hour and under their fearless, incorruptible and uncompromising leadership the Russian proletariat has held the fort against the combined assaults of all ruling class powers of earth. It is a magnificent spectacle. It stirs the blood and warms the heart of every revolutionist, and it challenges the admiration of all the world.
**[[Eugene V. Debs]], The Day of the People (1918)

* We are doing what Lenin did. You cannot build socialism without Red Terror.
** Asrat Destu, Ethiopian revolutionary, as quoted by Christopher Andrew and [[w:Vasili Mitrokhin|Vasili Mitrokhin]] (2006). ''The Mitrokhin Archive II: The KGB and the World'', pp. 467-8)

* Lenin was an undisputed leader of the proletariat, political leader, researcher, scientist, founder, who made important contributions to the socialist construction.
** [[Miguel Díaz-Canel]], [https://twitter.com/DiazCanelB/status/1252970037721300993 Tweet], 22 April 2020

* I honor Lenin as a man who completely sacrificed himself and devoted all his energy to the realization of [[social justice]]. I do not consider his methods practical, but one thing is certain: men of his type are the guardians and restorers of humanity.
** [[Albert Einstein]], as quoted in ''Einstein and the Generations of Science'' (p.25) by Lewis Samuel Feuerl.

* Lenin was probably the most influential leader of the [[20th century]]. He devised and spread a doctrine that dominated half the world and influenced or menaced the rest. A politician and theorist, he knew how to seize and maintain power and how to convince people that [[slavery]] was [[freedom]]. The [[Totalitarianism|totalitarian]] state he created lasted for more than 70 years. 
** Clive Foss, ''The Tyrants: 2500 Years of Absolute Power and Corruption'', London: Quercus Publishing, 2006, ISBN 1905204965, p. 124

* Lenin and [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] have evidenced their outstanding brilliance as mass leaders in every revolutionary requirement: in Marxian theory, political strategy, the building of mass organizations, and in the development of the mass struggle. The characteristic feature of their work is its many-sidedness. Both men of action as well as of thought, they have exemplified in their activities that coordination of theory and practice which is so indispensable to the success of the every-day struggles of the masses and the final establishment of socialism. Both have worked in the clearest realization of the twin truths that there can be no revolutionary movement without revolutionary theory, and that revolutionary theory unsupported by organized mass struggle must remain sterile.
** {{Citation | author-link = w:William Z. Foster| first = William Z | last = Foster | publisher = Marxists | url = http://www.marxists.org/archive/foster/1939/12/stalin.htm | title = Lenin and Stalin as Mass Leaders | newspaper = The Communist | volume = XVIII | number = 12 | month = December | year = 1939}}.

* The names of Lenin, [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]], and [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] will forever be linked to the tragic course of European history in the first half of the twentieth century. Only weeks after the Russian Revolution the Bolsheviks created [[w:Cheka| secret police forces]] far more brutal than any that had existed under the tsar. The Nazis followed suit and were no sooner in power than they instituted the dreaded [[w:Gestapo | Gestapo]]. Under both regimes millions of people were incarcerated in concentration camps where they were tortured and frequently worked to death.
** {{Citation | author-link = w:Robert Gellately| first = Robert | last = Gellately | title = Lenin, Stalin, and Hitler: The Age of Social Catastrophe | year = 2007}}.

* Lenin was the greatest man, second only to Hitler, and that the difference between communism and the Hitler faith was very slight. 
**[[Joseph Goebbels]], as quoted in ''The New York Times'', “HITLERITE RIOT IN BERLIN: Beer Glasses Fly When Speaker Compares Hitler and Lenin,” (Nov. 28, 1925) p. 4

* Lenin was the most pliable politician in history. He could be an ultra-revolutionary, a compromiser and conservative at the same time. When like a mighty wave the cry swept over Russia, &quot;All power to the Soviets!&quot; Lenin swam with the tide.[A] When the peasants took possession of the land and the workers of the factories, Lenin not only approved of those direct methods but went further. He issued the famous motto, &quot;Rob the robbers,&quot; a slogan which served to confuse the minds of the people and caused untold injury to revolutionary idealism. Never before did any real revolutionist interpret social expropriation as the transfer of wealth from one set of individuals to another. Yet that was exactly what Lenin's slogan meant. The indiscriminate and irresponsible raids, the accumulation of the wealth of the former bourgeoisie by the new Soviet bureaucracy, the chicanery practised toward those whose only crime was their former status, were all the results of Lenin's &quot;Rob the robbers&quot; policy. The whole subsequent history of the Revolution is a kaleidoscope of Lenin's compromises and betrayal of his own slogans. 
**[[Emma Goldman]], ''My Disillusionment in Russia''

* Not since [[Karl Marx|Marx]] had the proletarian struggle for emancipation given the world a thinker and leader of the working class and all toilers of Lenin's stature. He combined scientific genius, political wisdom, and perspicacity with great organizational ability, an iron will, courage, and daring. He had a boundless faith in the creative powers of the popular masses, was close to them, and enjoyed their total confidence, love, and support. All of Lenin's activity embodied the organic unity between revolutionary theory and practice. As leader and man Lenin possessed a selfless devotion to communist ideals and to the cause of the party and of the working class and a supreme conviction of the righteousness and justice of that cause. He subordinated every facet of his life to the struggle for the emancipation of the toilers from social and national oppression. He both loved his homeland and was a consistent internationalist. Intransigent toward the class enemy, he had a touching concern for comrades. He was highly exacting toward himself and others and was morally pure, simple, and modest.
** {{Citation | contribution = Lenin, Vladimir Il’yich | url = http://encyclopedia2.thefreedictionary.com/Lenin,+Vladimir+Ilyich | title = Great Soviet Encyclopedia | year = 1979 | publisher = The free dictionary}}.

* In dealing with the issue, Lenin was candid. He stated, “One therefore cannot deny the justice of [the] remark that in ‘Marxism itself there is not a grain of ethics from beginning to end’; theoretically it subordinates the ‘ethical standpoint’ to the ‘principle of causality’; in practice it reduces it to the class struggle.”
** [[w:A. James Gregor|A. James Gregor]], ''Giovanni Gentile: Philosopher of Fascism'', Transaction Press (1924) p. 45

* The great actors and theorists of twentieth-century politics, on the right and left, agree on this point: '[[Max Weber]] and Vladimir Lenin say, in almost identical words, that with regard to the use of force the state is always a dictatorship.
** {{Citation | author1-link = w:Michael Hardt| first1 = Michael | last1 = Hardt | author2-link = w:Antonio Negri | first2 = Antonio | last2 = Negri | title = Multitude: War and Democracy in the Age of Empire | year = 2004}}.

* It's not that the Left needed to control every piece of terrain in America; instead, they focused on key terrain- and the results, today, are sobering. Avowed Marxist and &quot;founding father&quot; of the Soviet Union Vladimir Lenin gave voice to a key aspect of this strategy in 1922, when he used the term ''commanding heights'' in a speech. Following the Russian Revolution, the Soviet economy tanked; Lenin proposed a solution: limited capitalist activities were permitted at the local level, but all the main levers of the national economy would be controlled by the state. In short, Marxists didn't need to control every aspect of the economy; they just needed to maintain a grip on the big and influential industries like steel, manufacturing, and energy. It worked, and the Russian economy temporarily recovered.&lt;br&gt;This military analogy- the &quot;commanding heights&quot;- has captured the imagination of Marxists since, and it was famously dubbed &quot;the road to serfdom&quot; by free-market economists. Conservatives in America spent much of the twentieth century fending off Lenin's economic Marxism. Marx's entire theory was premised on economics and class warfare, and freedom lovers met the Soviet machine head-on- with free-market capitalism and sheer military might. In the end, taht combination helped to eventually bring the Soviet Union to its knees. Lenin was an economic Marxist. American progressives are cultural Marxists.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 26-27

*'''Lenin was the first man determinedly to denounce all prejudices against colonial peoples''', which have been deeply implanted in the minds of many European and American workers. Lenin's these on the question of nationalities, approved by International communism, have brought about a momentous revolution in all oppressed countries throughout the world.
**[[Ho Chi Minh]], &quot;Lenin and the East&quot; (1926)
** {{Citation | author-link = w:Ho Chi Minh| first = Ho Chi| last = Minh| title = Ho Chi Minh on Revolution, Selected Writings, 1920-66 | year = 1967}}.

* The monstrous evils of the twentieth century have shown us that the greediest money grubbers are gentle doves compared with money-hating wolves like Lenin, [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]], and [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]], who in less than three decades killed or maimed nearly a hundred million men, women, and children and brought untold suffering to a large portion of mankind.
** {{Citation | first = Eric | last = Hoffer | author-link = Eric Hoffer | title = In Our Time | year = 1976}}.

* Lenin sprung a leak in the cesspool of Russian history and the stench has poisoned the civilized world.
** [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Before the Sabbath'', Harper &amp; Row 1979, p. 104

* Lenin walks around the world.&lt;br&gt;Frontiers cannot bar him.&lt;br&gt;Neither barracks nor barricades impede.&lt;br&gt;Nor does barbed wire scar him.&lt;br&gt;Lenin walks around the world.&lt;br&gt;Black, brown, and white receive him.&lt;br&gt;Language is no barrier.&lt;br&gt;The strangest tongues believe him.&lt;br&gt;Lenin walks around the world.&lt;br&gt;The sun sets like a scar.&lt;br&gt;Between the darkness and the dawn&lt;br&gt;There rises a red star.
**[[Langston Hughes]], &quot;'Ballads of Lenin&quot;' (1933) &lt;ref&gt;https://www.struggle-la-lucha.org/2020/04/21/langston-hughes-two-poems-about-lenin/&lt;/ref&gt;

* Drawing from Marxism, Lenin reinterpreted, revised and thus revived the native Russian tradition of revolution. In the previous generation revolutionary Slavophiles had indulged the pleasing thought that there was a distinct Russian story and a distinctively Russian trajectory to any radical action in that country. Some of them endorsed terrorism as a way to preserve the distinctive virtues of Russian society while undermining the autocracy. Though Lenin was impatient with the long-standing Russian heritage of activism, revolution by the act, nihilism, assassination etc., he insisted upon preserving the accompanying emphasis on voluntaristic action. But his voluntarism was girded by a Marxist vision of coming revolutions.
** [[Tony Judt]], in Tony Judt and Timothy Snyder, ''Thinking the twentieth century'' (2012), Ch. 3: Familial Socialism: Political Marxist

* Today I shot at Lenin. I did it on my own. I will not say from whom I obtained my revolver. I will give no details. I had resolved to kill Lenin long ago. I consider him a traitor to the Revolution.
** [[w:Fanni Kaplan|Fanni Kaplan]], in a statement during her interrogation after an assassination attempt on Lenin, as quoted in {{Citation | title = Lenin: A Biography | year = 1976 | first = David | last = Shub | page = 362}}.

* Lenin is said to have declared that the best way to destroy the Capitalist System was to debauch the currency. By a continuing process of ﻿inflation, governments can confiscate, secretly and unobserved, an important part of the wealth of their citizens. By this method they not only confiscate, but they confiscate arbitrarily; and, while the process impoverishes many, it actually enriches some.
**[[John Maynard Keynes]], ''The Economic Consequences of the Peace'', Chap. VI: “Europe After The Treaty,” New York: NY,  Harcourt, Brace and Howe, 1920, p. 235 

*There are individuals – a mere handful in the history of mankind – who, while themselves being the product of an imminent catastrophic change, leave their mark upon an entire epoch. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin is one such giant mind, one such giant will...&lt;br&gt;However mighty such giants of history may be, the universal-general principle that they symbolise and embody dissolves all the narrowly individual. The ordinary measuring rod of the qualities, failings and passions characteristic of the people of that age is not applicable to them. It is not a question of the personal characteristics of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin but what he symbolises... He has gathered to himself like a magnet everything in the revolution that is expressive of will, power, ruthless destruction and constructive persistence. Everyone who values what the workers' revolution brings with it in its cleansing whirlwind cannot but value and cherish its symbol, its embodiment – [[Vladimir Ilyich Lenin]].
**[[Alexandra Kollontai]], &quot;A Giant Mind, A Giant Will&quot;

* Vladimir Ilyich, your concrete actions are completely unworthy of the ideas you pretend to hold.&lt;br/ &gt;Is it possible that you do not know what a hostage really is — a man imprisoned not because of a crime he has committed, but only because it suits his enemies to exert blackmail on his companions?...  If you admit such methods, one can foresee that one day you will use torture, as was done in the Middle Ages.&lt;br /&gt;I hope you will not answer me that Power is for political men a professional duty, and that any attack against that power must be considered as a threat against which one must guard oneself at any price. This opinion is no longer held even by kings... Are you so blinded, so much a prisoner of your own authoritarian ideas, that you do not realise that being at the head of European Communism, you have no right to soil the ideas which you defend by shameful methods... What future lies in store for Communism when one of its most important defenders tramples in this way every honest feeling?
** [[Peter Kropotkin]], in a letter to Lenin (21 December 1920); as quoted in {{Citation | title = Peter Kropotkin: From Prince to Rebel | year = 1990 | first1 = George | last1 = Woodcock | author1-link = George Woodcock | first2 = Ivan | last2 = Avakumovic | page = 426}}.

* Lenin is not comparable to any revolutionary figure in history. Revolutionaries have had ideals. Lenin has none. He is a madman, an immolator, wishful of burning, and slaughter, and sacrificing.
** [[Peter Kropotkin]], as quoted in ''Peter Kropotkin: From Prince to Rebel'' (1990) by [[George Woodcock]] and Ivan Avakumovic, p. 407.

*&quot;Progress&quot; is for the convinced ochlocrats a consoling Utopia of madly increased comfort and technicism. This charming but dull vision was always the pseudoreligious consolation of millions of ecstatic believers in ochlocracy and in the relative perfection and wisdom of Mr. and Mrs. Averageman. Utopias in general are surrogates for heaven; they give a meager solace to the individual that his sufferings and endeavors may enable future generations to enter the chiliastic paradise. Communism works in a similar way. Its millennium is almost the same as that of ochlocracy. The Millennium of Lenin, the Millennium of [[Edward Bellamy|Bellamy]], the Millennium as represented in [[H. G. Wells]]'s, &quot;Of Things to Come,&quot; the Millennium of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[Henry Ford]] — they are all basically the same; they often differ in their means to attain it but they all agree in the point of technical perfection and the classless or at least totally homogeneous society without grudge or envy.
** [[w:Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn|Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]], writing under the pen name Francis Stewart Campbell (1943), &lt;i&gt;Menace of the Herd, or, Procrustes at Large&lt;/i&gt;, Milwaukee, WI: The Bruce Publishing Company, pp. 35-36

*[N]o one can doubt that Lenin was one of the greatest leaders of men ever thrown up in any epoch.
**[[David Lloyd George]], ''War Memoirs: Volume II'' (1938), p. 1887

* Lenin is an artist who has worked men, as other artists have worked marble or metals. But men are harder than stone and less malleable than iron. There is no masterpiece. The artist has failed. The task was superior to his capacities.
**[[Benito Mussolini]], as quoted in {{Citation | title = Mussolini in the Making | year = 1938 | first = Gaudens | last = Megaro | page = 326}}.

*He (Lenin) lies asleep as it were and it is difficult to believe that he is dead. In life they say he was not beautiful to look at. He had too much of common clay in him and about him was the 'smell of the Russian soil'. But in death there is a strange beauty and his brow is peaceful and unclouded. On his lips there hovers a smile and there is a suggestion of pugnacity, of work done and success achieved. He has a uniform on and one of his hands is lightly clenched. Even in death he is the dictator. In India, he would certainly have been canonised, but saints are not held in repute in Soviet circles, and the people of Russia have done him the higher honour of loving him as one of themselves.
**J. Nehru, Soviet Russia: Some Random Sketches and Impressions (1949) Writing about a visit to Lenin's mummy in Moscow. Quoted from S.R.Goel, Genesis and Growth of Nehruism, Vol I.

*There was no doubt or vagueness in Lenin's mind. His were the penetrating eyes which detected the moods of the masses; the clear head which could apply and adapt well-thought-out principles to changing situations; the inflexible will which held on to the course he had mapped out, regardless of immediate consequences... It is not many years since he died, and already Lenin has become a mighty tradition, not only in his native Russia, but in the world at large. As time passes he grows greater; he has become one of the chosen company of the world's immortals. Petrograd has become Leningrad, and almost every house in Russia has a Lenin corner or a Lenin picture. But he lives, not in monuments or pictures, but in the mighty work he did, and in the hearts of hundreds of millions of workers today who find inspiration in his example and the hope of a better day.
**Nehru, Glimpses of World History (1949). Quoted from S.R.Goel, Genesis and Growth of Nehruism, Vol I.

*[If Lenin had lived after 1924] there is no strong reason for thinking that the main lines of development would have been very different. Well before 1923 the seeds of a totalitarian society were quite plainly there. Lenin, indeed, is one of those politicians who win an undeserved reputation by dying prematurely. Had he lived, it is probable that he would either have been thrown out, like Trotsky, or would have kept himself in power by methods as [[barbarous]], or nearly as barbarous, as those of [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]].
**[[George Orwell]], ‘Second Thoughts on James Burnham’, ''Polemic'', No. 3 (May 1946), quoted in Sonia Orwell and Ian Angus (eds.), ''The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell. Volume IV: In Front of Your Nose, 1945–1950'' (1968), p. 168

*Here we see the possible significance of Lenin's book for the future working-class movement. The Communist Party, though it may lose ground among the workers, tries to form with the socialists and the intellectual class a united front, ready at the first major crisis of capitalism to take in its hands the power over and against the workers. Leninism and its philosophical textbook then will serve, under the name of Marxism, to overawe the workers and to impose upon the intellectuals, as the leading system of thought by which the reactionary spiritual powers are beaten, Thus the fighting working class, basing itself upon Marxism, will find Lenin's philosophical work a stumbling-block in its way, as the theory of a class that tries to perpetuate its serfdom.
**[[Anton Pannekoek]], ''Lenin as Philosopher''

* How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads [[Marx]] and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who ''understands'' Marx and Lenin.
** [[Ronald Reagan]], &quot;[http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/speeches/1987/092587b.htm Remarks at the Annual Convention of Concerned Women for America]&quot;, 25 September, 1987

* Lenin, the greatest man of action in our century and at the same time the most selfless.
** [[Romain Rolland]], as quoted in {{Citation | title = Lenin and [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]] | year = 1930 | first = René | last = Fülöp-Miller | page = 102}}.
** Variant: Lenin was the greatest man of action in our century and at the same time the most selfless.
*** As quoted in {{Citation | title = Through the Eyes of Foreigners, 1917–1932 | year = 1932 | page = 222}}.
[[File:Bertrand Russell.jpeg|thumb|I have never met a personage so destitute of self-importance. He looks at his visitors very closely, and screws up one eye, which seems to increase alarmingly the penetrating power of the other.     ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] ]]
* Soon after my arrival in Moscow I had an hour's conversation with Lenin in English, which he speaks fairly well... I have never met a personage so destitute of self-importance. He looks at his visitors very closely, and screws up one eye, which seems to increase alarmingly the penetrating power of the other. He laughs a great deal; at first his laugh seems merely friendly and jolly, but gradually I came to feel it rather grim. He is dictatorial, calm, incapable of fear, extraordinarily devoid of self-seeking, an embodied theory. The [[Materialism|materialist]] conception of history, one feels, is his life-blood. He resembles a professor in his desire to have the theory understood and in his fury with those who misunderstand or disagree, as also in his love of expounding, I got the impression that he despises a great many people and is an intellectual aristocrat. ... He described the division between rich and poor peasants, and the Government propaganda among the latter against the former, leading to acts of violence which he seemed to find amusing. ... I think if I had met him without knowing who he was, I should not have guessed that he was a great man; he struck me as too opinionated and narrowly orthodox. His strength comes, I imagine, from his [[honesty]], [[courage]], and unwavering [[faith]] — religious faith in the Marxian gospel.
** {{Citation | first = Bertrand | last = Russell | author-link = Bertrand Russell | title = The Practice and Theory of Bolshevism | year = 1920}}.

* Bolshevism is not merely a political doctrine; it is also a religion, with elaborate dogmas and inspired scriptures. When Lenin wishes to prove some proposition, he does so, if possible, by quoting texts from Marx and Engels. A full-fledged Communist is not merely a man who believes that land and capital should be held in common, and their produce distributed as nearly equally as possible. He is a man who entertains a number of elaborate and dogmatic beliefs—such as philosophic materialism, for example—which may be true, but are not, to a scientific temper, capable of being known to be true with any certainty.
** {{Citation | first = Bertrand | last = Russell | author-link = Bertrand Russell | title = The Practice and Theory of Bolshevism | year = 1920}}.

* When I met Lenin, I had much less impression of a great man than I had expected; my most vivid impressions were of bigotry and Mongolian cruelty. When I put a question to him about socialism in agriculture, he explained with glee how he had incited the poorer peasants against the richer ones, &quot;and they soon hanged them from the nearest tree—ha! ha! ha!&quot; His guffaw at the thought of those massacred made my blood run cold.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], &quot;Eminent Men I Have Known&quot;, ''Unpopular Essays'' (1950)

* My impression [of Lenin] was not so good as I'd rather thought it would be. I, of course, realised that he had immense strength of will, and integrity in the sense that I think all his public acts were dictated by something that he really believed to be for the public good. But his defects, as they struck me, were two. One, that he was very narrowly orthodox in his adherence to Marx. If he wanted to prove a point, he thought it enough to quote a text of Marx. No fundamentalist was ever more addicted to scripture than he was to Marx. And I thought that seemed to me rather narrow. The other thing I didn't like about him was that he was quite clearly rather cruel. In both these respects I thought he resembled [[Oliver Cromwell]]. In fact, I thought he might be a reincarnation of Oliver Cromwell.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''[http://www.russellsocietylibrary.com/SUSSKIND.PDF Interview]'' with [[w:David Susskind|David Susskind]] (10 June 1962), pp. 52–53

* They [Lenin and Stalin] formed the world's first Marxist government, remained at the peak of the state for the rest of their days, sacrificed millions of lives at the pitiless altar of their utopian ideology, and ruled the imperium, between them, for the next thirty-six years.
** [[w:Simon Sebag Montefiore|Simon Sebag Montefiore]], ''Young Stalin'' (2007)

*We never talked about men or clothes or inconsequential things we got together. It was always [[Marx]], Lenin and [[revolution]] - real girls' talk.
**[[Nina Simone]], as quoted in ''[https://books.google.it/books?id=3TTVAAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA154&amp;dq=we+never+talked+about+men+or+clothes+or+other+such+inconsequential+things&amp;hl=it&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwjN9Li0-_vuAhWKuKQKHYvBAI0Q6AEwAnoECAQQAg#v=onepage&amp;q=we%20never%20talked%20about%20men%20or%20clothes%20or%20other%20such%20inconsequential%20things&amp;f=false Party Music: The Inside Story of the Black Panthers' Band and How Black]'', Rickey Vincent, ISBN {{ISBN|9781613744956}}

* It is hard to find a word of human sympathy or concern anywhere in his [Lenin's] collected works. But he was quick to exploit the misery of the nation, to create scapegoats to deflect popular anger from the regime.
** [[w:Martin Sixsmith|Martin Sixsmith]], ''Russia: A 1,000-Year Chronicle of the Wild East'' (2011)

* Lenin taught us to be merciless towards the enemies of the revolution, and millions of people had to be eliminated in order to secure the victory of the October Revolution.
** [[w:Nur Muhammad Taraki|Nur Muhammad Taraki]], as quoted by Christopher Andrew and [[w:Vasili Mitrokhin|Vasili Mitrokhin]] (2006). ''The Mitrokhin Archive II: The KGB and the World'', p. 389)

* This most powerful machinist of the revolution... was irrevocably controlled by one and the same idea, the goal. He was probably the most extreme utilitarian whom the laboratory of history has produced. But his utilitarianism was of the broadest historical scope. His personality did not grow flat or poor thereby, but on the contrary developed and enriched itself in extent, as his experience of life and sphere of activity grew.
** {{Citation | first = Leon | last = Trotsky | author-link = Leon Trotsky | title = Lenin | year = 1925 | url =  http://www.marxists.org/archive/trotsky/1925/lenin/01a.htm#a4n | publisher = Marxists}}.

* Through the ages of world history thousands of leaders and scholars appeared who spoke eloquent words, but these remained but words. You, Lenin, were an exception. You not only spoke and taught us, but translated your words into deeds. You created a new country. You showed us the road of joint struggle. ...  You, great man that you are, will live on in the memories of the oppressed peoples through the centuries.
** [[Sun Yat-sen]] in a 1924 response to Lenin's death, as quoted in {{Citation | title = A Short History of the World | volume = 2 | year = 1974 | first = Albert Zakharovich | last = Manfred}}; also in {{Citation | title = Lenin: A Biography | year = 1983 | publisher = Progress | place = Moscow}}.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource author}}
{{commonscat}}
*[http://205.188.238.181/time/time100/leaders/profile/lenin.html TIME 100: V.I. Lenin by David Remnick, (13 April 1998)]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/bio/index.htm Lenin Internet Archive Biography]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/index.htm Marxists.org Lenin Internet Archive]
*[http://www.marx2mao.com/Lenin/Index.html Marx2Mao.org - Lenin Internet Library]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/trotsky/1939/xx/lenin02.html Article on Lenin written by Trotsky for the Encyclopedia Britannica]
*[http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/marxists/archive/krupskaya/works/rol/index.htm Reminiscences of Lenin by N. K. Krupskaya]
*[http://ariwatch.com/VS/JD/ImpressionsOfSovietRussia.htm Impressions of Soviet Russia]&amp;nbsp; by [[John Dewey]]
*[http://findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&amp;GRid=617&amp;pt=Vladimir%20Lenin Information on Lenin's Grave]
*[http://www.lenin.fi/uusi/uk/index.htm The Lenin Museum in Tampere, Finland]
*[http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/bcaplan/museum/hisfram1.htm Lenin and the First Communist Revolutions]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/bryant/works/1923-mom/lenin.htm Mirrors of Moscow: Nikolai Lenin by Louise Bryant]
*[http://debs.indstate.edu/z77n5_1918.pdf Nicolai Lenin : His Life and Work by G. Zinovieff]
*[http://net.lib.byu.edu/~rdh7/wwi/memoir/Robins/Robins4.htm &quot;The Personality and Power of Nikolai Lenin&quot; from ''Raymond Robins' Own Story'' by William Hard (1920)]
*[http://venus.unive.it/riccardozipoli/demo/galleries_part.php?a=76&amp;n=5&amp;d=LENIN Statues and portraits of Lenin]
*[http://mnweekly.ru/local/20090115/55364151.html &quot;The Ghosts of Lenin Abound&quot; in ''The Moscow News Weekly'' (15 January 2009)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l53FPENoAU Lenin's speech (video) - Lenin speech with subtitles]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ybDtm93e4c Lenin in color]
:'''Selected works'''
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1899/devel/index.htm The Development of Capitalism in Russia]
* [http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1901/witbd/index.htm What is to be Done?]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1904/onestep/index.htm One Step Forward, Two Steps Back]
*[http://marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1904/sep/15a.htm Reply by N. Lenin] to [[Rosa Luxemburg]]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1905/tactics/index.htm Two Tactics of Social-Democracy in the Democratic Revolution]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1908/mec/index.htm Materialism and Empirio-Criticism]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1915/oct/16.htm The Right of Nations to Self-Determination]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1916/imp-hsc/index.htm Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/index.htm ''The State and Revolution'']
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/dec/25.htm How to Organise Competition?]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/apr/04.htm ''The April Theses'']
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1918/oct/10.htm The Proletarian Revolution and the Renegade Kautsky]
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/lwc/index.htm ''Left-Wing Communism : An Infantile Disorder'']
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1922/dec/testamnt/index.htm Lenin's ''Testament'']
*[http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1923/mar/05.htm Lenin's last letter to Stalin]
{{Social and political philosophers}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lenin, Vladimir}}
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[[Category:Russian communists]]
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[[Category:Leninists]]
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[[Category:Philosophers from Russia]]
[[Category:Russian atheists]]
[[Category:Revolutionaries]]
[[Category:Russian economists]]
[[Category:Russian journalists]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Russia]]
[[Category:Soviet premiers]]
[[Category:1870 births]]
[[Category:1924 deaths]]
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      <text bytes="29652" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Salman Rushdie 2011 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|What is [[freedom]] of [[expression]]? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to [[exist]].]]
'''[[w:Salman Rushdie|Sir Salman Rushdie]]''' (born '''Ahmed Salman Rushdie''', Urdu: أحمد سلمان رشدی, Hindi: अह्मद सलमान रश्डी on [[19 June]] [[1947]]) is an Indian-born British novelist and essayist, most of which is set on the Indian subcontinent.
: See also:
::'''''[[Midnight's Children]]''''' (1981)
::'''''[[The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988)
::'''''[[The Ground Beneath Her Feet]]''''' (1999)

== Quotes ==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|[[Meaning]] is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.]]
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 03bis.jpg|thumb|I do not [[envy]] people who think they have a [[complete]] [[explanation]] of the [[world]], for the [[simple]] reason that they are obviously [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Salman-Rushdie-1.jpg|thumb|The only people who see the [[whole]] picture are the ones who step outside the frame.]]

* '''It matters, it always matters, to name rubbish as rubbish ... to do otherwise is to legitimize it.'''
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20110618004653/http://www.granta.com/Magazine/11/Outside-the-Whale/Page-2 &quot;Outside The Whale&quot; in ''Granta'' (1984)]

* God, Satan, Paradise, and Hell all vanished one day in my fifteenth year, when I quite abruptly lost my faith. ... and afterwards, to prove my new-found atheism, I bought myself a rather tasteless ham sandwich, and so partook for the first time of the forbidden flesh of the swine. No thunderbolt arrived to strike me down. ... From that day to this I have thought of myself as a wholly secular person.
** &quot;In God We Trust&quot; (1985)

*It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
**(When asked if he apprehended riots) Interview with Shrabani Basu (September 1988), quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). ''Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism\\. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32

* The responsibility for violence lies with those who perpetrate it.
** &quot;In Good Faith&quot; (1990), p. 19

* '''The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas — uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.'''
** Herbert Reade Memorial Lecture (6 February 1990)

* Those who oppose the novel most vociferously today are of the opinion that intermingling with a different culture will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the transformation that comes of new and unexpected combinations of human beings, cultures, ideas, politics, movies, songs. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the absolutism of the Pure.''' Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the world. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world... '''''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a love song to our mongrel selves.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* '''What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' p. 391 (1992)

* '''It may be argued that the past is a country from which we have all emigrated, that its loss is part of our common humanity.''' Which seems to be self-evidently true; but I suggest that the writer who is out-of-country and even out-of-language may experience this loss in an intensified form. It is made more concrete for him by the physical fact of discontinuity, of his present being in a different place from his past, of his being &quot;elsewhere&quot;... '''human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capably only of fractured perceptions. Partial beings, in all the senses of that phrase.''' Meaning is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* I don't think there is a need for an entity like God in my life. 
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with [[w:David Frost|David Frost]]'' (1993)

* '''I do not envy people who think they have a complete explanation of the world, for the simple reason that they are obviously wrong.'''
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with David Frost'' (1993)

* Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.
** ''The Hindu'' (26 February 1995)

* '''The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.'''
** ''The Ground Beneath Her Feet'' (1999)

* I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
** ''Real Time with [[Bill Maher]]'' TV show (7 October 2005)

* What kind of God is it who's upset by a cartoon in Danish?
** Interview with [[Bill Moyers]], [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/portraits_rushdie.html ''Bill Moyers on Faith &amp; Reason'' (23 June 2006)] - [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/faithandreason101_print.html transcript]

*'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.  'I stand with ''Charlie Hebdo'', as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.
** Statement in ''[[w:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', [http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2015/01/07/salman-rushdie-i-stand-with-charlie-hebdo-as-we-all-must/ Salman Rushdie: &quot;I Stand With ''Charlie Hebdo'', as We All Must&quot;] '' (7 January 2015)

* The fundamentalist seeks to bring down a great deal more than buildings. Such people are against, to offer just a brief list, freedom of speech, a multi-party political system, universal adult suffrage, accountable government, Jews, homosexuals, women's rights, pluralism, secularism, short skits, dancing, beardlessness, evolution theory, sex. There are tyrants, not Muslims. United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan has said that we should now define ourselves not only by what we are for but by what we are against. I would reverse that proposition, because in the present instance what we are against is a no brainer. Suicidist assassins ram wide-bodied aircraft into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and kill thousands of people: um, I'm against that. But what are we for? What will we risk our lives to defend? Can we unanimously concur that all the items in the preceding list — yes, even the short skirts and the dancing — are worth dying for? The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his world-view, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world's resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them. How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.
** ''Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992–2002''

* '''Two things form the bedrock of any open society—freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.'''
** ''The Times of India'', [http://archive.is/ecOpa ‘Don’t allow religious hooligans to dictate terms’] (16 January 2008)

=== ''[[w:Midnight's Children|Midnight's Children]]'' (1981) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie.jpg|thumb|I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are just a few sample quotes; for more quotes from this work see '''''[[Midnight's Children]]'''''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Children are the vessels into which adults pour their poison.'''

* '''Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.''' I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each &quot;I&quot;, everyone of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. '''I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you'll have to swallow a world.'''

=== ''[[w:The Satanic Verses|The Satanic Verses]]'' (1988) ===
{{main|The Satanic Verses}}

* Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.

* '''The world, somebody wrote, is the place we prove real by dying in it.'''

=== Address at Columbia University (1991) ===
[[File:Rushdie.JPG|thumb|Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie-address.html Excerpts From Rushdie's Address: 1,000 Days 'Trapped Inside a Metaphor' ''The New York Times'' (12 December 1991)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 02.JPG|thumb| Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.]]

* '''For many people, I've ceased to be a human being. I've become an issue, a bother, an &quot;affair.&quot; ... And has it really been so long since religions persecuted people, burning them as heretics, drowning them as witches, that you can't recognize religious persecution when you see it?''' ... What is my single life worth? Despair whispers in my ear: &quot;Not a lot.&quot; But I refuse to give in to despair ... because ... '''I know that many people do care, and are appalled by the ... upside-down logic of the post-fatwa world, in which a ... novelist can be accused of having savaged or &quot;mugged&quot; a whole community, becoming its tormentor (instead of its ... victim) and the scapegoat for ... its discontents... . (What minority is smaller and weaker than a minority of one?)'''

* I determined to make my peace with Islam, even at the cost of my pride. Those who were surprised and displeased by what I did perhaps failed to see that ... I wanted to make peace between the warring halves of the world, which were also the warring halves of my soul... . &lt;br&gt; The really important conversations I had in this period were with myself.&lt;br&gt;I said: Salman, you must send a message loud enough to ... make ordinary Muslims see that you aren't their enemy, and you must make the West understand a little more of the complexity of Muslim culture ..., and start thinking a little less stereotypically... . And I said to myself: Admit it, Salman, the Story of Islam has a deeper meaning for you than any of the other grand narratives. Of course you're no mystic, mister... . No supernaturalism, no literalist orthodoxies ... for you. But '''Islam doesn't have to mean blind faith. It can mean what it always meant in your family, a culture, a civilization, as open-minded as your grandfather was, as delightedly disputatious as your father was. ... Don't let the zealots make Muslim a terrifying word, I urged myself; remember when it meant family'''. ... &lt;br&gt;I reminded myself that I had always argued that it was necessary to develop the nascent concept of the &quot;secular Muslim,&quot; who, like the secular Jew, affirmed his membership of the culture while being separate from the theology... . But, Salman, I told myself, you can't argue from outside the debating chamber. You've got to cross the threshold, go inside the room, and then fight for your humanized, historicized, secularized way of being a Muslim.

* '''Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.''' In the West, some &quot;friends&quot; turned against me, calling me by yet another set of insulting names. Now I was spineless, pathetic, debased; I had betrayed myself, my Cause; above all, I had betrayed them . &lt;br&gt; I also found myself up against the granite, heartless certainties of Actually Existing Islam, by which I mean the political and priestly power structure that presently dominates and stifles Muslim societies. Actually Existing Islam has failed to create a free society anywhere on Earth, and it wasn't about to let me, of all people, argue in favor of one.

* I reluctantly concluded that there was no way for me to help bring into being the Muslim culture I'd dreamed of, the progressive, irreverent, skeptical, argumentative, playful and ''unafraid'' culture which is what I've always understood as ''freedom''. Not me, not in this lifetime, no chance. Actually Existing Islam, which has all but deified its Prophet, a man who always fought passionately against such deification, which has supplanted a priest-free religion by a priest-ridden one, which makes literalism a weapon and redescription a crime, will never let the likes of me in.

* '''[[w:Averroes|Ibn Rushd]]'s ideas were silenced in their time.''' And throughout the Muslim world today, progressive ideas are in retreat. Actually Existing Islam reigns supreme, and just as the recently destroyed &quot;Actually Existing Socialism&quot; of the Soviet terror-state was horrifically unlike the utopia of peace and equality of which democratic socialists have dreamed, so also is Actually Existing Islam a force to which I have never given in, to which I cannot submit. &lt;br&gt; '''There is a point beyond which conciliation looks like capitulation. I do not believe I passed that point, but others have thought otherwise.'''

* &quot;Our lives teach us who we are.&quot; I have learned the hard way that when you permit anyone else's description of reality to supplant your own — and such descriptions have been raining down on me, from security advisers, governments, journalists, Archbishops, friends, enemies, mullahs — then you might as well be dead. '''Obviously, a rigid, blinkered, absolutist [[world view]] is the easiest to keep hold of, whereas the fluid, uncertain, metamorphic picture I've always carried about is rather more vulnerable.''' Yet I must cling with all my might to ... my own soul; must hold on to its mischievous, iconoclastic, out-of-step clown-instincts, no matter how great the storm. '''And if that plunges me into contradiction and paradox, so be it; I've lived in that messy ocean all my life. I've fished in it for my art.''' This turbulent sea was the sea outside my bedroom window in Bombay. It is the sea by which I was born, and which I carry within me wherever I go. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Free speech is a non-starter,&quot; says one of my Islamic extremist opponents. No, sir, it is not. '''Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.'''

=== ''Salon'' interview (1996) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 01.JPG|thumb| Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview.html When life becomes a bad novel] - [http://web.archive.org/web/20000303114537/http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview2.html The Salon Interview: Salman Rushdie]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''When I was growing up, everyone around me was fond of fooling around with words.''' It was certainly common in my family, but I think it is typical of Bombay, and maybe of India, that there is a sense of play in the way people use language. Most people in India are multilingual, and if you listen to the urban speech patterns there you'll find it's quite characteristic that a sentence will begin in one language, go through a second language and end in a third. '''It's the very playful, very natural result of juggling languages. You are always reaching for the most appropriate phrase.'''

* '''It's fun to read things when you don't know all the words. Even children love it.''' One of the things any great children's writer will tell you is that children like it if in books designed for their age group there is a vocabulary just slightly bigger than theirs. '''So they come up against weird words, and the weird words excite them.''' If you describe a small girl in a story as “loquacious,” it works so much better than “talkative.” And then some little girl will read the book and her sister will be shooting her mouth off and she will say to her sister, “Don't be so ''loquacious''.” It is a whole new weapon in her arsenal.

* '''Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.''' Some people are paralyzed by the consciousness of death, other people live with it. ... The fatwa certainly made me think about it a lot more than I ever had. I guess I know I'm going to die, but then, so are you. And one of the things that I thought a lot about at the time of the fatwa and ever since is that quite a few of the people I really care about died during this period, all about the same age as I am, and they were not under a death sentence. They just died, of lung cancer, AIDS, whatever. It occurred to me that you don't need a fatwa, it can happen anytime.

=== ''The Hindu'' interview (2012) ===
* There is no right in the world not to be offended. That right simply doesn't exist. In a free society, an open society, people have strong opinions, and these opinions very often clash. In a democracy, we have to learn to deal with this. And this is true about novels, it's true about cartoons, it's true about all these products.
* A question I have often asked is, ‘What would an inoffensive political cartoon look like?’ What would a respectful cartoon look like? The form requires disrespect and so if we are going to have in the world things like cartoons and satire, we just have to accept it as part of the price of freedom.

== Quotes about Rushdie ==
[[File:Pia Glenn and Salman Rushdie Shankbone 2009 Vanity Fair.jpg|thumb|Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it. ~ [[Malcolm Bradbury]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author &lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Yusuf Islam (cropped).jpg|thumb|I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don’t. … I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions. … Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now. ~  [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]] ]]

* If a [[Salman Rushdie|blasphemer]] can be given the title &quot;Sir&quot; by the West despite the fact he has hurt the feelings of Muslims, then a '''[[Osama bin Laden|mujahid]]''' [Osama bin Laden] who has been fighting for Islam against the Russians, Americans and British must be given the lofty title of Islam, '''Saifullah.'''
** Tahir Ashrafi, Pakistan Ulema Council chairman, quoted in  [http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54140&amp;in_page_id=34 Bin Laden made a Sword of Islam], ''Metro.co.uk'' (21 June 2007)

* '''Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it.'''
** [[Malcolm Bradbury]], in ''The Guardian'' (8 September 1983)

* Salman Rushdie, the author of the book ''Satanic Verses'', must be executed on the basis of the religious fatwa by His Eminence [[Imam Khomeini]]. He has no escape from this fatwa.
**[[Mohammad Khatami]], [http://www.iran-e-azad.org/english/khatami.html Kayhan, (7 March 1989)]

* I would like to inform all the intrepid Muslims in the world... that the author of the book titled ''The Satanic Verses'', which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to [[Islam]], the [[Muhammad|Prophet]], and the [[Koran]], as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been declared ''madhur el dam'' [“those whose blood must be shed”]. I call on all zealous Muslims to execute them quickly, wherever they find them, so that no one will dare to insult Islam again... .
**[[Imam Khomeini]], [http://www.iranian.com/Pictory/2003/February/fatwa.html Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie read on Iran's state radio on] (14 February 1989) [http://crf-usa.org/bria/bria15_1.html#blas CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOUNDATION]

* '''I think when you are Salman Rushdie, you must get bored with people who always want to talk to you about literature.'''
** [[w:Riya Sen|Riya Sen]], in [http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23518410-as-salman-rushdie-steps-out-with-another-beautiful-woman-just-how-does-he-do-it.do &quot;As Salman Rushdie steps out with another beautiful woman... just how DOES he do it?&quot; in ''The Evening Star'' (21 July 2008)]

* In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death. It's got to be seen as a deterrent, so that other people should not commit the same mistake again.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in &quot;Yussuf Islam, Formerly Cat Stevens, Expresses Support For Rushdie Death Sentence&quot; in ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (1989)

* '''I'm very sad that this seems to be the No. 1 question people want to discuss.''' I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created. I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy. So, after many years, I'm glad at least now that I have been given the opportunity to explain to the public and fans my side of the story in my own words. At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. '''The next day the newspaper headlines read, &quot;Cat Says, Kill Rushdie.&quot;''' I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention [[w:Leviticus|Leviticus]] 24:16.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/catstevens/articles/story/5927176/cat_stevens_breaks_his_silence &quot;Cat Stevens Breaks His Silence,&quot; by Andrew Dansby in ''Rolling Stone'' (14 June 2000)]; Leviticus 24:16 reads : &quot;And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.&quot;

* '''I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don't.''' The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis. &lt;br&gt; When asked about my opinion regarding blasphemy, I could not tell a lie and confirmed that — like both the Torah and the Gospel — the Qur'an considers it, without repentance, as a capital offense. The Bible is full of similar harsh laws if you're looking for them. However, the application of such Biblical and Qur'anic injunctions is not to be outside of [[due process of law]], in a place or land where such law is accepted and applied by the society as a whole.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html#18 &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot;] ''Mountain of Light'' (undated)

* In 1989, during the heat and height of the ''[[The Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]]'' controversy, I was silly enough to accept appearing on a program called ''Hypotheticals'' which posed imaginary scenarios by a well-versed (what if...?) barrister, [[w:Geoffrey Robertson|Geoffrey Robertson]] QC. '''I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions.''' When asked what I'd do if Salman Rushdie entered a restaurant in which I was eating, I said, “I would probably call up Ayatollah Khomeini”; and, rather than go to a demonstration to burn an effigy of the author, I jokingly said I would have preferred that it'd be the “real thing”. &lt;br&gt; Criticize me for my bad taste, in hindsight, I agree. ... '''Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now.''' However, it must be noted that the final edit of the program was made to look extremely serious; hardly any laughs were left in and much common sense was savagely cut out. ... Balanced arguments were cut out and the most sensational quotes, preserved.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot; ''Mountain of Light''] (undated)

* Almost all Muslims, including the most enlightened, feel offended by Rushdie's novel or, rather, by reports they have read or heard about it. Very few people have actually read the dense and tortuous book, but they do not have to. The very idea of using the prophet Muhammad as a character in a novel is painful to many Muslims. The entire Islamic system consists of the so-called ''Hodud'', or limits beyond which one should simply not venture. Islam does not recognize unlimited freedom of expression. Call them taboos, if you like, but Islam considers a wide variety of topics as permanently closed. Most Muslims are prepared to be broad-minded about most things but never anything that even remotely touches their faith... To Muslims religion is not just a part of life. It is, in fact, life that is a part of religion. Muslims cannot understand a concept that has no rules, no limits. The Western belief in human rights, which seems to lack limits, is alien to Islamic traditions... The fact that Rushdie propagated his heresy in a book is of especial significance to Muslims. Islam is the religion of the book ''par excellence''. Few cultures hold the written and printed word in so much awe as Muslims, even though the vast majority are illiterate. When a Muslim wants to clinch an argument he says, 'It is written.'
** [[Amir Taheri]], &quot;Khomeini's Scapegoat&quot;, ''Times'', London, (February 13, 1989)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.salman-rushdie.com Official Salman Rushdie website]
* {{dmoz|Arts/Literature/Authors/R/Rushdie,_Salman}}
* [http://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth87 British Council: Contemporary writers: Salman Rushdie]
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5531/the-art-of-fiction-no-186-salman-rushdie &quot;Salman Rushdie, The Art of Fiction No. 186&quot; by Jack Livings in ''The Paris Review'' (Summer 2005)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie.html ''New York Times'' special feature on Rushdie, 1999]
* [http://www.vernoncorea.info Vernon Corea The Golden Voice of Radio Ceylon] 
* [http://www.jimloy.com/issues/rushdie.htm Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/witn/2007/06/070618_rushdie.shtml &quot;Rushdie knighthood an insult to Islam, says Tehran&quot; ''BBC News'' (18 June 2007)] 
* [http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=57643&amp;videoChannel=2 Row over Rushdie knighthood grows&quot; ''Reuters'' (June 2007)]
* [http://217.218.67.244/presstv/070621/13-58%20Nasir-Islamabad.wmv &quot;Pakistani women protest against Rushdie&quot; (June 2007)]
* [http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/interview/there-is-no-right-not-to-be-offended/article3969404.ece ''The Hindu'' interview 'There is no right not to be offended' (2012-10-08)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rushdie, Salman}}
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      <text bytes="29713" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Salman Rushdie 2011 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|What is [[freedom]] of [[expression]]? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to [[exist]].]]
'''[[w:Salman Rushdie|Sir Salman Rushdie]]''' (born '''Ahmed Salman Rushdie''', Urdu: أحمد سلمان رشدی, Hindi: अह्मद सलमान रश्डी on [[19 June]] [[1947]]) is an Indian-born British novelist and essayist, most of which is set on the Indian subcontinent.
: See also:
::'''''[[Midnight's Children]]''''' (1981)
::'''''[[The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988)
::'''''[[The Ground Beneath Her Feet]]''''' (1999)

== Quotes ==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|[[Meaning]] is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.]]
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 03bis.jpg|thumb|I do not [[envy]] people who think they have a [[complete]] [[explanation]] of the [[world]], for the [[simple]] reason that they are obviously [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Salman-Rushdie-1.jpg|thumb|The only people who see the [[whole]] picture are the ones who step outside the frame.]]

* '''It matters, it always matters, to name rubbish as rubbish ... to do otherwise is to legitimize it.'''
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20110618004653/http://www.granta.com/Magazine/11/Outside-the-Whale/Page-2 &quot;Outside The Whale&quot; in ''Granta'' (1984)]

* God, Satan, Paradise, and Hell all vanished one day in my fifteenth year, when I quite abruptly lost my faith. ... and afterwards, to prove my new-found atheism, I bought myself a rather tasteless ham sandwich, and so partook for the first time of the forbidden flesh of the swine. No thunderbolt arrived to strike me down. ... From that day to this I have thought of myself as a wholly secular person.
** &quot;In God We Trust&quot; (1985)

*It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
**(When asked if he apprehended riots) Interview with Shrabani Basu (September 1988), quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). ''Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism\\. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32

* The responsibility for violence lies with those who perpetrate it.
** &quot;In Good Faith&quot; (1990), p. 19

* '''The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas — uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.'''
** Herbert Reade Memorial Lecture (6 February 1990)

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* '''What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' p. 391 (1992)

* '''It may be argued that the past is a country from which we have all emigrated, that its loss is part of our common humanity.''' Which seems to be self-evidently true; but I suggest that the writer who is out-of-country and even out-of-language may experience this loss in an intensified form. It is made more concrete for him by the physical fact of discontinuity, of his present being in a different place from his past, of his being &quot;elsewhere&quot;... '''human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capably only of fractured perceptions. Partial beings, in all the senses of that phrase.''' Meaning is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* I don't think there is a need for an entity like God in my life. 
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with [[w:David Frost|David Frost]]'' (1993)

* '''I do not envy people who think they have a complete explanation of the world, for the simple reason that they are obviously wrong.'''
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with David Frost'' (1993)

* Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.
** ''The Hindu'' (26 February 1995)

* '''The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.'''
** ''The Ground Beneath Her Feet'' (1999)

* I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
** ''Real Time with [[Bill Maher]]'' TV show (7 October 2005)

* What kind of God is it who's upset by a cartoon in Danish?
** Interview with [[Bill Moyers]], [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/portraits_rushdie.html ''Bill Moyers on Faith &amp; Reason'' (23 June 2006)] - [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/faithandreason101_print.html transcript]

*'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.  'I stand with ''Charlie Hebdo'', as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.
** Statement in ''[[w:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', [http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2015/01/07/salman-rushdie-i-stand-with-charlie-hebdo-as-we-all-must/ Salman Rushdie: &quot;I Stand With ''Charlie Hebdo'', as We All Must&quot;] '' (7 January 2015)

* The fundamentalist seeks to bring down a great deal more than buildings. Such people are against, to offer just a brief list, freedom of speech, a multi-party political system, universal adult suffrage, accountable government, Jews, homosexuals, women's rights, pluralism, secularism, short skits, dancing, beardlessness, evolution theory, sex. There are tyrants, not Muslims. United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan has said that we should now define ourselves not only by what we are for but by what we are against. I would reverse that proposition, because in the present instance what we are against is a no brainer. Suicidist assassins ram wide-bodied aircraft into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and kill thousands of people: um, I'm against that. But what are we for? What will we risk our lives to defend? Can we unanimously concur that all the items in the preceding list — yes, even the short skirts and the dancing — are worth dying for? The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his world-view, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world's resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them. How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.
** ''Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992–2002''

* '''Two things form the bedrock of any open society—freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.'''
** ''The Times of India'', [http://archive.is/ecOpa ‘Don’t allow religious hooligans to dictate terms’] (16 January 2008)

=== ''[[w:Midnight's Children|Midnight's Children]]'' (1981) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie.jpg|thumb|I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are just a few sample quotes; for more quotes from this work see '''''[[Midnight's Children]]'''''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Children are the vessels into which adults pour their poison.'''

* '''Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.''' I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each &quot;I&quot;, everyone of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. '''I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you'll have to swallow a world.'''

=== ''[[w:The Satanic Verses|The Satanic Verses]]'' (1988) ===
{{main|The Satanic Verses}}

* Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.

* '''The world, somebody wrote, is the place we prove real by dying in it.'''

=== Address at Columbia University (1991) ===
[[File:Rushdie.JPG|thumb|Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie-address.html Excerpts From Rushdie's Address: 1,000 Days 'Trapped Inside a Metaphor' ''The New York Times'' (12 December 1991)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 02.JPG|thumb| Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.]]

* '''For many people, I've ceased to be a human being. I've become an issue, a bother, an &quot;affair.&quot; ... And has it really been so long since religions persecuted people, burning them as heretics, drowning them as witches, that you can't recognize religious persecution when you see it?''' ... What is my single life worth? Despair whispers in my ear: &quot;Not a lot.&quot; But I refuse to give in to despair ... because ... '''I know that many people do care, and are appalled by the ... upside-down logic of the post-fatwa world, in which a ... novelist can be accused of having savaged or &quot;mugged&quot; a whole community, becoming its tormentor (instead of its ... victim) and the scapegoat for ... its discontents... . (What minority is smaller and weaker than a minority of one?)'''

* I determined to make my peace with Islam, even at the cost of my pride. Those who were surprised and displeased by what I did perhaps failed to see that ... I wanted to make peace between the warring halves of the world, which were also the warring halves of my soul... . &lt;br&gt; The really important conversations I had in this period were with myself.&lt;br&gt;I said: Salman, you must send a message loud enough to ... make ordinary Muslims see that you aren't their enemy, and you must make the West understand a little more of the complexity of Muslim culture ..., and start thinking a little less stereotypically... . And I said to myself: Admit it, Salman, the Story of Islam has a deeper meaning for you than any of the other grand narratives. Of course you're no mystic, mister... . No supernaturalism, no literalist orthodoxies ... for you. But '''Islam doesn't have to mean blind faith. It can mean what it always meant in your family, a culture, a civilization, as open-minded as your grandfather was, as delightedly disputatious as your father was. ... Don't let the zealots make Muslim a terrifying word, I urged myself; remember when it meant family'''. ... &lt;br&gt;I reminded myself that I had always argued that it was necessary to develop the nascent concept of the &quot;secular Muslim,&quot; who, like the secular Jew, affirmed his membership of the culture while being separate from the theology... . But, Salman, I told myself, you can't argue from outside the debating chamber. You've got to cross the threshold, go inside the room, and then fight for your humanized, historicized, secularized way of being a Muslim.

* '''Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.''' In the West, some &quot;friends&quot; turned against me, calling me by yet another set of insulting names. Now I was spineless, pathetic, debased; I had betrayed myself, my Cause; above all, I had betrayed them . &lt;br&gt; I also found myself up against the granite, heartless certainties of Actually Existing Islam, by which I mean the political and priestly power structure that presently dominates and stifles Muslim societies. Actually Existing Islam has failed to create a free society anywhere on Earth, and it wasn't about to let me, of all people, argue in favor of one.

* I reluctantly concluded that there was no way for me to help bring into being the Muslim culture I'd dreamed of, the progressive, irreverent, skeptical, argumentative, playful and ''unafraid'' culture which is what I've always understood as ''freedom''. Not me, not in this lifetime, no chance. Actually Existing Islam, which has all but deified its Prophet, a man who always fought passionately against such deification, which has supplanted a priest-free religion by a priest-ridden one, which makes literalism a weapon and redescription a crime, will never let the likes of me in.

* '''[[w:Averroes|Ibn Rushd]]'s ideas were silenced in their time.''' And throughout the Muslim world today, progressive ideas are in retreat. Actually Existing Islam reigns supreme, and just as the recently destroyed &quot;Actually Existing Socialism&quot; of the Soviet terror-state was horrifically unlike the utopia of peace and equality of which democratic socialists have dreamed, so also is Actually Existing Islam a force to which I have never given in, to which I cannot submit. &lt;br&gt; '''There is a point beyond which conciliation looks like capitulation. I do not believe I passed that point, but others have thought otherwise.'''

* &quot;Our lives teach us who we are.&quot; I have learned the hard way that when you permit anyone else's description of reality to supplant your own — and such descriptions have been raining down on me, from security advisers, governments, journalists, Archbishops, friends, enemies, mullahs — then you might as well be dead. '''Obviously, a rigid, blinkered, absolutist [[world view]] is the easiest to keep hold of, whereas the fluid, uncertain, metamorphic picture I've always carried about is rather more vulnerable.''' Yet I must cling with all my might to ... my own soul; must hold on to its mischievous, iconoclastic, out-of-step clown-instincts, no matter how great the storm. '''And if that plunges me into contradiction and paradox, so be it; I've lived in that messy ocean all my life. I've fished in it for my art.''' This turbulent sea was the sea outside my bedroom window in Bombay. It is the sea by which I was born, and which I carry within me wherever I go. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Free speech is a non-starter,&quot; says one of my Islamic extremist opponents. No, sir, it is not. '''Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.'''

=== ''Salon'' interview (1996) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 01.JPG|thumb| Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview.html When life becomes a bad novel] - [http://web.archive.org/web/20000303114537/http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview2.html The Salon Interview: Salman Rushdie]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''When I was growing up, everyone around me was fond of fooling around with words.''' It was certainly common in my family, but I think it is typical of Bombay, and maybe of India, that there is a sense of play in the way people use language. Most people in India are multilingual, and if you listen to the urban speech patterns there you'll find it's quite characteristic that a sentence will begin in one language, go through a second language and end in a third. '''It's the very playful, very natural result of juggling languages. You are always reaching for the most appropriate phrase.'''

* '''It's fun to read things when you don't know all the words. Even children love it.''' One of the things any great children's writer will tell you is that children like it if in books designed for their age group there is a vocabulary just slightly bigger than theirs. '''So they come up against weird words, and the weird words excite them.''' If you describe a small girl in a story as “loquacious,” it works so much better than “talkative.” And then some little girl will read the book and her sister will be shooting her mouth off and she will say to her sister, “Don't be so ''loquacious''.” It is a whole new weapon in her arsenal.

* '''Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.''' Some people are paralyzed by the consciousness of death, other people live with it. ... The fatwa certainly made me think about it a lot more than I ever had. I guess I know I'm going to die, but then, so are you. And one of the things that I thought a lot about at the time of the fatwa and ever since is that quite a few of the people I really care about died during this period, all about the same age as I am, and they were not under a death sentence. They just died, of lung cancer, AIDS, whatever. It occurred to me that you don't need a fatwa, it can happen anytime.

=== ''The Hindu'' interview (2012) ===
* There is no right in the world not to be offended. That right simply doesn't exist. In a free society, an open society, people have strong opinions, and these opinions very often clash. In a democracy, we have to learn to deal with this. And this is true about novels, it's true about cartoons, it's true about all these products.
* A question I have often asked is, ‘What would an inoffensive political cartoon look like?’ What would a respectful cartoon look like? The form requires disrespect and so if we are going to have in the world things like cartoons and satire, we just have to accept it as part of the price of freedom.

== Quotes about Rushdie ==
[[File:Pia Glenn and Salman Rushdie Shankbone 2009 Vanity Fair.jpg|thumb|Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it. ~ [[Malcolm Bradbury]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author &lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Yusuf Islam (cropped).jpg|thumb|I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don’t. … I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions. … Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now. ~  [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]] ]]

* If a [[Salman Rushdie|blasphemer]] can be given the title &quot;Sir&quot; by the West despite the fact he has hurt the feelings of Muslims, then a '''[[Osama bin Laden|mujahid]]''' [Osama bin Laden] who has been fighting for Islam against the Russians, Americans and British must be given the lofty title of Islam, '''Saifullah.'''
** Tahir Ashrafi, Pakistan Ulema Council chairman, quoted in  [http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54140&amp;in_page_id=34 Bin Laden made a Sword of Islam], ''Metro.co.uk'' (21 June 2007)

* '''Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it.'''
** [[Malcolm Bradbury]], in ''The Guardian'' (8 September 1983)

* Salman Rushdie, the author of the book ''Satanic Verses'', must be executed on the basis of the religious fatwa by His Eminence [[Imam Khomeini]]. He has no escape from this fatwa.
**[[Mohammad Khatami]], [http://www.iran-e-azad.org/english/khatami.html Kayhan, (7 March 1989)]

* I would like to inform all the intrepid Muslims in the world... that the author of the book titled ''The Satanic Verses'', which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to [[Islam]], the [[Muhammad|Prophet]], and the [[Koran]], as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been declared ''madhur el dam'' [“those whose blood must be shed”]. I call on all zealous Muslims to execute them quickly, wherever they find them, so that no one will dare to insult Islam again... .
**[[Imam Khomeini]], [http://www.iranian.com/Pictory/2003/February/fatwa.html Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie read on Iran's state radio on] (14 February 1989) [http://crf-usa.org/bria/bria15_1.html#blas CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOUNDATION]

* '''I think when you are Salman Rushdie, you must get bored with people who always want to talk to you about literature.'''
** [[w:Riya Sen|Riya Sen]], in [http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23518410-as-salman-rushdie-steps-out-with-another-beautiful-woman-just-how-does-he-do-it.do &quot;As Salman Rushdie steps out with another beautiful woman... just how DOES he do it?&quot; in ''The Evening Star'' (21 July 2008)]

* In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death. It's got to be seen as a deterrent, so that other people should not commit the same mistake again.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in &quot;Yussuf Islam, Formerly Cat Stevens, Expresses Support For Rushdie Death Sentence&quot; in ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (1989)

* '''I'm very sad that this seems to be the No. 1 question people want to discuss.''' I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created. I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy. So, after many years, I'm glad at least now that I have been given the opportunity to explain to the public and fans my side of the story in my own words. At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. '''The next day the newspaper headlines read, &quot;Cat Says, Kill Rushdie.&quot;''' I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention [[w:Leviticus|Leviticus]] 24:16.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/catstevens/articles/story/5927176/cat_stevens_breaks_his_silence &quot;Cat Stevens Breaks His Silence,&quot; by Andrew Dansby in ''Rolling Stone'' (14 June 2000)]; Leviticus 24:16 reads : &quot;And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.&quot;

* '''I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don't.''' The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis. &lt;br&gt; When asked about my opinion regarding blasphemy, I could not tell a lie and confirmed that — like both the Torah and the Gospel — the Qur'an considers it, without repentance, as a capital offense. The Bible is full of similar harsh laws if you're looking for them. However, the application of such Biblical and Qur'anic injunctions is not to be outside of [[due process of law]], in a place or land where such law is accepted and applied by the society as a whole.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html#18 &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot;] ''Mountain of Light'' (undated)

* In 1989, during the heat and height of the ''[[The Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]]'' controversy, I was silly enough to accept appearing on a program called ''Hypotheticals'' which posed imaginary scenarios by a well-versed (what if...?) barrister, [[w:Geoffrey Robertson|Geoffrey Robertson]] QC. '''I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions.''' When asked what I'd do if Salman Rushdie entered a restaurant in which I was eating, I said, “I would probably call up Ayatollah Khomeini”; and, rather than go to a demonstration to burn an effigy of the author, I jokingly said I would have preferred that it'd be the “real thing”. &lt;br&gt; Criticize me for my bad taste, in hindsight, I agree. ... '''Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now.''' However, it must be noted that the final edit of the program was made to look extremely serious; hardly any laughs were left in and much common sense was savagely cut out. ... Balanced arguments were cut out and the most sensational quotes, preserved.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot; ''Mountain of Light''] (undated)

* Almost all Muslims, including the most enlightened, feel offended by Rushdie's novel or, rather, by reports they have read or heard about it. Very few people have actually read the dense and tortuous book, but they do not have to. The very idea of using the prophet Muhammad as a character in a novel is painful to many Muslims. The entire Islamic system consists of the so-called ''Hodud'', or limits beyond which one should simply not venture. Islam does not recognize unlimited freedom of expression. Call them taboos, if you like, but Islam considers a wide variety of topics as permanently closed. Most Muslims are prepared to be broad-minded about most things but never anything that even remotely touches their faith... To Muslims religion is not just a part of life. It is, in fact, life that is a part of religion. Muslims cannot understand a concept that has no rules, no limits. The Western belief in human rights, which seems to lack limits, is alien to Islamic traditions... The fact that Rushdie propagated his heresy in a book is of especial significance to Muslims. Islam is the religion of the book ''par excellence''. Few cultures hold the written and printed word in so much awe as Muslims, even though the vast majority are illiterate. When a Muslim wants to clinch an argument he says, 'It is written.'
** [[Amir Taheri]], &quot;Khomeini's Scapegoat&quot;, ''Times'', London, (February 13, 1989)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.salman-rushdie.com Official Salman Rushdie website]
* {{dmoz|Arts/Literature/Authors/R/Rushdie,_Salman}}
* [http://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth87 British Council: Contemporary writers: Salman Rushdie]
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5531/the-art-of-fiction-no-186-salman-rushdie &quot;Salman Rushdie, The Art of Fiction No. 186&quot; by Jack Livings in ''The Paris Review'' (Summer 2005)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie.html ''New York Times'' special feature on Rushdie, 1999]
* [http://www.vernoncorea.info Vernon Corea The Golden Voice of Radio Ceylon] 
* [http://www.jimloy.com/issues/rushdie.htm Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/witn/2007/06/070618_rushdie.shtml &quot;Rushdie knighthood an insult to Islam, says Tehran&quot; ''BBC News'' (18 June 2007)] 
* [http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=57643&amp;videoChannel=2 Row over Rushdie knighthood grows&quot; ''Reuters'' (June 2007)]
* [http://217.218.67.244/presstv/070621/13-58%20Nasir-Islamabad.wmv &quot;Pakistani women protest against Rushdie&quot; (June 2007)]
* [http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/interview/there-is-no-right-not-to-be-offended/article3969404.ece ''The Hindu'' interview 'There is no right not to be offended' (2012-10-08)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rushdie, Salman}}
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      <text bytes="29774" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Salman Rushdie 2011 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|What is [[freedom]] of [[expression]]? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to [[exist]].]]
'''[[w:Salman Rushdie|Sir Salman Rushdie]]''' (born '''Ahmed Salman Rushdie''', Urdu: أحمد سلمان رشدی, Hindi: अह्मद सलमान रश्डी on [[19 June]] [[1947]]) is an Indian-born British novelist and essayist, most of which is set on the Indian subcontinent.
: See also:
::'''''[[Midnight's Children]]''''' (1981)
::'''''[[The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988)
::'''''[[The Ground Beneath Her Feet]]''''' (1999)

== Quotes ==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|[[Meaning]] is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.]]
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 03bis.jpg|thumb|I do not [[envy]] people who think they have a [[complete]] [[explanation]] of the [[world]], for the [[simple]] reason that they are obviously [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Salman-Rushdie-1.jpg|thumb|The only people who see the [[whole]] picture are the ones who step outside the frame.]]

* '''It matters, it always matters, to name rubbish as rubbish ... to do otherwise is to legitimize it.'''
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20110618004653/http://www.granta.com/Magazine/11/Outside-the-Whale/Page-2 &quot;Outside The Whale&quot; in ''Granta'' (1984)]

* God, Satan, Paradise, and Hell all vanished one day in my fifteenth year, when I quite abruptly lost my faith. ... and afterwards, to prove my new-found atheism, I bought myself a rather tasteless ham sandwich, and so partook for the first time of the forbidden flesh of the swine. No thunderbolt arrived to strike me down. ... From that day to this I have thought of myself as a wholly secular person.
** &quot;In God We Trust&quot; (1985)

*It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
**(When asked if he apprehended riots) Interview with Shrabani Basu (September 1988), quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). ''Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism\\. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32

* The responsibility for violence lies with those who perpetrate it.
** &quot;In Good Faith&quot; (1990), p. 19

* '''The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas — uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.'''
** Herbert Reade Memorial Lecture (6 February 1990)

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* '''What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' p. 391 (1992)

* '''It may be argued that the past is a country from which we have all emigrated, that its loss is part of our common humanity.''' Which seems to be self-evidently true; but I suggest that the writer who is out-of-country and even out-of-language may experience this loss in an intensified form. It is made more concrete for him by the physical fact of discontinuity, of his present being in a different place from his past, of his being &quot;elsewhere&quot;... '''human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capably only of fractured perceptions. Partial beings, in all the senses of that phrase.''' Meaning is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* I don't think there is a need for an entity like God in my life. 
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with [[w:David Frost|David Frost]]'' (1993)

* '''I do not envy people who think they have a complete explanation of the world, for the simple reason that they are obviously wrong.'''
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with David Frost'' (1993)

* Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.
** ''The Hindu'' (26 February 1995)

* '''The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.'''
** ''The Ground Beneath Her Feet'' (1999)

* I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
** ''Real Time with [[Bill Maher]]'' TV show (7 October 2005)

* What kind of God is it who's upset by a cartoon in Danish?
** Interview with [[Bill Moyers]], [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/portraits_rushdie.html ''Bill Moyers on Faith &amp; Reason'' (23 June 2006)] - [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/faithandreason101_print.html transcript]

*'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.  'I stand with ''Charlie Hebdo'', as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.
** Statement in ''[[w:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', [http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2015/01/07/salman-rushdie-i-stand-with-charlie-hebdo-as-we-all-must/ Salman Rushdie: &quot;I Stand With ''Charlie Hebdo'', as We All Must&quot;] '' (7 January 2015)

* The fundamentalist seeks to bring down a great deal more than buildings. Such people are against, to offer just a brief list, freedom of speech, a multi-party political system, universal adult suffrage, accountable government, Jews, homosexuals, women's rights, pluralism, secularism, short skits, dancing, beardlessness, evolution theory, sex. There are tyrants, not Muslims. United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan has said that we should now define ourselves not only by what we are for but by what we are against. I would reverse that proposition, because in the present instance what we are against is a no brainer. Suicidist assassins ram wide-bodied aircraft into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and kill thousands of people: um, I'm against that. But what are we for? What will we risk our lives to defend? Can we unanimously concur that all the items in the preceding list — yes, even the short skirts and the dancing — are worth dying for? The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his world-view, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world's resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them. How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.
** ''Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992–2002''

* '''Two things form the bedrock of any open society—freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.'''
** ''The Times of India'', [http://archive.is/ecOpa ‘Don’t allow religious hooligans to dictate terms’] (16 January 2008)

=== ''[[w:Midnight's Children|Midnight's Children]]'' (1981) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie.jpg|thumb|I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are just a few sample quotes; for more quotes from this work see '''''[[Midnight's Children]]'''''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Children are the vessels into which adults pour their poison.'''

* '''Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.''' I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each &quot;I&quot;, everyone of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. '''I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you'll have to swallow a world.'''

=== ''[[w:The Satanic Verses|The Satanic Verses]]'' (1988) ===
{{main|The Satanic Verses}}

* |[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].

* '''The world, somebody wrote, is the place we prove real by dying in it.'''

=== Address at Columbia University (1991) ===
[[File:Rushdie.JPG|thumb|Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to [[listen]] seriously to what I had to say.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie-address.html Excerpts From Rushdie's Address: 1,000 Days 'Trapped Inside a Metaphor' ''The New York Times'' (12 December 1991)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 02.JPG|thumb| [[Free speech]] is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is [[life]] itself.]]

* '''For many people, I've ceased to be a human being. I've become an issue, a bother, an &quot;affair.&quot; ... And has it really been so long since religions persecuted people, burning them as heretics, drowning them as witches, that you can't recognize religious persecution when you see it?''' ... What is my single life worth? Despair whispers in my ear: &quot;Not a lot.&quot; But I refuse to give in to despair ... because ... '''I know that many people do care, and are appalled by the ... upside-down logic of the post-fatwa world, in which a ... novelist can be accused of having savaged or &quot;mugged&quot; a whole community, becoming its tormentor (instead of its ... victim) and the scapegoat for ... its discontents... . (What minority is smaller and weaker than a minority of one?)'''

* I determined to make my peace with Islam, even at the cost of my pride. Those who were surprised and displeased by what I did perhaps failed to see that ... I wanted to make peace between the warring halves of the world, which were also the warring halves of my soul... . &lt;br&gt; The really important conversations I had in this period were with myself.&lt;br&gt;I said: Salman, you must send a message loud enough to ... make ordinary Muslims see that you aren't their enemy, and you must make the West understand a little more of the complexity of Muslim culture ..., and start thinking a little less stereotypically... . And I said to myself: Admit it, Salman, the Story of Islam has a deeper meaning for you than any of the other grand narratives. Of course you're no mystic, mister... . No supernaturalism, no literalist orthodoxies ... for you. But '''Islam doesn't have to mean blind faith. It can mean what it always meant in your family, a culture, a civilization, as open-minded as your grandfather was, as delightedly disputatious as your father was. ... Don't let the zealots make Muslim a terrifying word, I urged myself; remember when it meant family'''. ... &lt;br&gt;I reminded myself that I had always argued that it was necessary to develop the nascent concept of the &quot;secular Muslim,&quot; who, like the secular Jew, affirmed his membership of the culture while being separate from the theology... . But, Salman, I told myself, you can't argue from outside the debating chamber. You've got to cross the threshold, go inside the room, and then fight for your humanized, historicized, secularized way of being a Muslim.

* '''Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.''' In the West, some &quot;friends&quot; turned against me, calling me by yet another set of insulting names. Now I was spineless, pathetic, debased; I had betrayed myself, my Cause; above all, I had betrayed them . &lt;br&gt; I also found myself up against the granite, heartless certainties of Actually Existing Islam, by which I mean the political and priestly power structure that presently dominates and stifles Muslim societies. Actually Existing Islam has failed to create a free society anywhere on Earth, and it wasn't about to let me, of all people, argue in favor of one.

* I reluctantly concluded that there was no way for me to help bring into being the Muslim culture I'd dreamed of, the progressive, irreverent, skeptical, argumentative, playful and ''unafraid'' culture which is what I've always understood as ''freedom''. Not me, not in this lifetime, no chance. Actually Existing Islam, which has all but deified its Prophet, a man who always fought passionately against such deification, which has supplanted a priest-free religion by a priest-ridden one, which makes literalism a weapon and redescription a crime, will never let the likes of me in.

* '''[[w:Averroes|Ibn Rushd]]'s ideas were silenced in their time.''' And throughout the Muslim world today, progressive ideas are in retreat. Actually Existing Islam reigns supreme, and just as the recently destroyed &quot;Actually Existing Socialism&quot; of the Soviet terror-state was horrifically unlike the utopia of peace and equality of which democratic socialists have dreamed, so also is Actually Existing Islam a force to which I have never given in, to which I cannot submit. &lt;br&gt; '''There is a point beyond which conciliation looks like capitulation. I do not believe I passed that point, but others have thought otherwise.'''

* &quot;Our lives teach us who we are.&quot; I have learned the hard way that when you permit anyone else's description of reality to supplant your own — and such descriptions have been raining down on me, from security advisers, governments, journalists, Archbishops, friends, enemies, mullahs — then you might as well be dead. '''Obviously, a rigid, blinkered, absolutist [[world view]] is the easiest to keep hold of, whereas the fluid, uncertain, metamorphic picture I've always carried about is rather more vulnerable.''' Yet I must cling with all my might to ... my own soul; must hold on to its mischievous, iconoclastic, out-of-step clown-instincts, no matter how great the storm. '''And if that plunges me into contradiction and paradox, so be it; I've lived in that messy ocean all my life. I've fished in it for my art.''' This turbulent sea was the sea outside my bedroom window in Bombay. It is the sea by which I was born, and which I carry within me wherever I go. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Free speech is a non-starter,&quot; says one of my Islamic extremist opponents. No, sir, it is not. '''Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.'''

=== ''Salon'' interview (1996) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 01.JPG|thumb| Nothing really [[improves]] us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview.html When life becomes a bad novel] - [http://web.archive.org/web/20000303114537/http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview2.html The Salon Interview: Salman Rushdie]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''When I was growing up, everyone around me was fond of fooling around with words.''' It was certainly common in my family, but I think it is typical of Bombay, and maybe of India, that there is a sense of play in the way people use language. Most people in India are multilingual, and if you listen to the urban speech patterns there you'll find it's quite characteristic that a sentence will begin in one language, go through a second language and end in a third. '''It's the very playful, very natural result of juggling languages. You are always reaching for the most appropriate phrase.'''

* '''It's fun to read things when you don't know all the words. Even children love it.''' One of the things any great children's writer will tell you is that children like it if in books designed for their age group there is a vocabulary just slightly bigger than theirs. '''So they come up against weird words, and the weird words excite them.''' If you describe a small girl in a story as “loquacious,” it works so much better than “talkative.” And then some little girl will read the book and her sister will be shooting her mouth off and she will say to her sister, “Don't be so ''loquacious''.” It is a whole new weapon in her arsenal.

* '''Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.''' Some people are paralyzed by the consciousness of death, other people live with it. ... The fatwa certainly made me think about it a lot more than I ever had. I guess I know I'm going to die, but then, so are you. And one of the things that I thought a lot about at the time of the fatwa and ever since is that quite a few of the people I really care about died during this period, all about the same age as I am, and they were not under a death sentence. They just died, of lung cancer, AIDS, whatever. It occurred to me that you don't need a fatwa, it can happen anytime.

=== ''The Hindu'' interview (2012) ===
* There is no right in the world not to be offended. That right simply doesn't exist. In a free society, an open society, people have strong opinions, and these opinions very often clash. In a democracy, we have to learn to deal with this. And this is true about novels, it's true about cartoons, it's true about all these products.
* A question I have often asked is, ‘What would an inoffensive political cartoon look like?’ What would a respectful cartoon look like? The form requires disrespect and so if we are going to have in the world things like cartoons and satire, we just have to accept it as part of the price of freedom.

== Quotes about Rushdie ==
[[File:Pia Glenn and Salman Rushdie Shankbone 2009 Vanity Fair.jpg|thumb|Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of [[history]] must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it. ~ [[Malcolm Bradbury]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author &lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Yusuf Islam (cropped).jpg|thumb|I never called for the [[death]] of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don’t. … I [[foolishly]] made light of certain provocative questions. … Certainly I [[regret]] giving those sorts of responses now. ~  [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]] ]]

* If a [[Salman Rushdie|blasphemer]] can be given the title &quot;Sir&quot; by the West despite the fact he has hurt the feelings of Muslims, then a '''[[Osama bin Laden|mujahid]]''' [Osama bin Laden] who has been fighting for Islam against the Russians, Americans and British must be given the lofty title of Islam, '''Saifullah.'''
** Tahir Ashrafi, Pakistan Ulema Council chairman, quoted in  [http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54140&amp;in_page_id=34 Bin Laden made a Sword of Islam], ''Metro.co.uk'' (21 June 2007)

* '''Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it.'''
** [[Malcolm Bradbury]], in ''The Guardian'' (8 September 1983)

* Salman Rushdie, the author of the book ''Satanic Verses'', must be executed on the basis of the religious fatwa by His Eminence [[Imam Khomeini]]. He has no escape from this fatwa.
**[[Mohammad Khatami]], [http://www.iran-e-azad.org/english/khatami.html Kayhan, (7 March 1989)]

* I would like to inform all the intrepid Muslims in the world... that the author of the book titled ''The Satanic Verses'', which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to [[Islam]], the [[Muhammad|Prophet]], and the [[Koran]], as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been declared ''madhur el dam'' [“those whose blood must be shed”]. I call on all zealous Muslims to execute them quickly, wherever they find them, so that no one will dare to insult Islam again... .
**[[Imam Khomeini]], [http://www.iranian.com/Pictory/2003/February/fatwa.html Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie read on Iran's state radio on] (14 February 1989) [http://crf-usa.org/bria/bria15_1.html#blas CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOUNDATION]

* '''I think when you are Salman Rushdie, you must get bored with people who always want to talk to you about literature.'''
** [[w:Riya Sen|Riya Sen]], in [http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23518410-as-salman-rushdie-steps-out-with-another-beautiful-woman-just-how-does-he-do-it.do &quot;As Salman Rushdie steps out with another beautiful woman... just how DOES he do it?&quot; in ''The Evening Star'' (21 July 2008)]

* In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death. It's got to be seen as a deterrent, so that other people should not commit the same mistake again.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in &quot;Yussuf Islam, Formerly Cat Stevens, Expresses Support For Rushdie Death Sentence&quot; in ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (1989)

* '''I'm very sad that this seems to be the No. 1 question people want to discuss.''' I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created. I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy. So, after many years, I'm glad at least now that I have been given the opportunity to explain to the public and fans my side of the story in my own words. At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. '''The next day the newspaper headlines read, &quot;Cat Says, Kill Rushdie.&quot;''' I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention [[w:Leviticus|Leviticus]] 24:16.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/catstevens/articles/story/5927176/cat_stevens_breaks_his_silence &quot;Cat Stevens Breaks His Silence,&quot; by Andrew Dansby in ''Rolling Stone'' (14 June 2000)]; Leviticus 24:16 reads : &quot;And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.&quot;

* '''I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don't.''' The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis. &lt;br&gt; When asked about my opinion regarding blasphemy, I could not tell a lie and confirmed that — like both the Torah and the Gospel — the Qur'an considers it, without repentance, as a capital offense. The Bible is full of similar harsh laws if you're looking for them. However, the application of such Biblical and Qur'anic injunctions is not to be outside of [[due process of law]], in a place or land where such law is accepted and applied by the society as a whole.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html#18 &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot;] ''Mountain of Light'' (undated)

* In 1989, during the heat and height of the ''[[The Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]]'' controversy, I was silly enough to accept appearing on a program called ''Hypotheticals'' which posed imaginary scenarios by a well-versed (what if...?) barrister, [[w:Geoffrey Robertson|Geoffrey Robertson]] QC. '''I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions.''' When asked what I'd do if Salman Rushdie entered a restaurant in which I was eating, I said, “I would probably call up Ayatollah Khomeini”; and, rather than go to a demonstration to burn an effigy of the author, I jokingly said I would have preferred that it'd be the “real thing”. &lt;br&gt; Criticize me for my bad taste, in hindsight, I agree. ... '''Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now.''' However, it must be noted that the final edit of the program was made to look extremely serious; hardly any laughs were left in and much common sense was savagely cut out. ... Balanced arguments were cut out and the most sensational quotes, preserved.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot; ''Mountain of Light''] (undated)

* Almost all Muslims, including the most enlightened, feel offended by Rushdie's novel or, rather, by reports they have read or heard about it. Very few people have actually read the dense and tortuous book, but they do not have to. The very idea of using the prophet Muhammad as a character in a novel is painful to many Muslims. The entire Islamic system consists of the so-called ''Hodud'', or limits beyond which one should simply not venture. Islam does not recognize unlimited freedom of expression. Call them taboos, if you like, but Islam considers a wide variety of topics as permanently closed. Most Muslims are prepared to be broad-minded about most things but never anything that even remotely touches their faith... To Muslims religion is not just a part of life. It is, in fact, life that is a part of religion. Muslims cannot understand a concept that has no rules, no limits. The Western belief in human rights, which seems to lack limits, is alien to Islamic traditions... The fact that Rushdie propagated his heresy in a book is of especial significance to Muslims. Islam is the religion of the book ''par excellence''. Few cultures hold the written and printed word in so much awe as Muslims, even though the vast majority are illiterate. When a Muslim wants to clinch an argument he says, 'It is written.'
** [[Amir Taheri]], &quot;Khomeini's Scapegoat&quot;, ''Times'', London, (February 13, 1989)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.salman-rushdie.com Official Salman Rushdie website]
* {{dmoz|Arts/Literature/Authors/R/Rushdie,_Salman}}
* [http://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth87 British Council: Contemporary writers: Salman Rushdie]
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5531/the-art-of-fiction-no-186-salman-rushdie &quot;Salman Rushdie, The Art of Fiction No. 186&quot; by Jack Livings in ''The Paris Review'' (Summer 2005)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie.html ''New York Times'' special feature on Rushdie, 1999]
* [http://www.vernoncorea.info Vernon Corea The Golden Voice of Radio Ceylon] 
* [http://www.jimloy.com/issues/rushdie.htm Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/witn/2007/06/070618_rushdie.shtml &quot;Rushdie knighthood an insult to Islam, says Tehran&quot; ''BBC News'' (18 June 2007)] 
* [http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=57643&amp;videoChannel=2 Row over Rushdie knighthood grows&quot; ''Reuters'' (June 2007)]
* [http://217.218.67.244/presstv/070621/13-58%20Nasir-Islamabad.wmv &quot;Pakistani women protest against Rushdie&quot; (June 2007)]
* [http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/interview/there-is-no-right-not-to-be-offended/article3969404.ece ''The Hindu'' interview 'There is no right not to be offended' (2012-10-08)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rushdie, Salman}}
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      <text bytes="29784" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Salman Rushdie 2011 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|What is [[freedom]] of [[expression]]? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to [[exist]].]]
'''[[w:Salman Rushdie|Sir Salman Rushdie]]''' (born '''Ahmed Salman Rushdie''', Urdu: أحمد سلمان رشدی, Hindi: अह्मद सलमान रश्डी on [[19 June]] [[1947]]) is an Indian-born British novelist and essayist, most of which is set on the Indian subcontinent.
: See also:
::'''''[[Midnight's Children]]''''' (1981)
::'''''[[The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988)
::'''''[[The Ground Beneath Her Feet]]''''' (1999)

== Quotes ==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|[[Meaning]] is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.]]
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 03bis.jpg|thumb|I do not [[envy]] people who think they have a [[complete]] [[explanation]] of the [[world]], for the [[simple]] reason that they are obviously [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Salman-Rushdie-1.jpg|thumb|The only people who see the [[whole]] picture are the ones who step outside the frame.]]

* '''It matters, it always matters, to name rubbish as rubbish ... to do otherwise is to legitimize it.'''
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20110618004653/http://www.granta.com/Magazine/11/Outside-the-Whale/Page-2 &quot;Outside The Whale&quot; in ''Granta'' (1984)]

* God, Satan, Paradise, and Hell all vanished one day in my fifteenth year, when I quite abruptly lost my faith. ... and afterwards, to prove my new-found atheism, I bought myself a rather tasteless ham sandwich, and so partook for the first time of the forbidden flesh of the swine. No thunderbolt arrived to strike me down. ... From that day to this I have thought of myself as a wholly secular person.
** &quot;In God We Trust&quot; (1985)

*It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
**(When asked if he apprehended riots) Interview with Shrabani Basu (September 1988), quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). ''Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism\\. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32

* The responsibility for violence lies with those who perpetrate it.
** &quot;In Good Faith&quot; (1990), p. 19

* '''The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas — uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.'''
** Herbert Reade Memorial Lecture (6 February 1990)

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* '''What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' p. 391 (1992)

* '''It may be argued that the past is a country from which we have all emigrated, that its loss is part of our common humanity.''' Which seems to be self-evidently true; but I suggest that the writer who is out-of-country and even out-of-language may experience this loss in an intensified form. It is made more concrete for him by the physical fact of discontinuity, of his present being in a different place from his past, of his being &quot;elsewhere&quot;... '''human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capably only of fractured perceptions. Partial beings, in all the senses of that phrase.''' Meaning is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* I don't think there is a need for an entity like God in my life. 
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with [[w:David Frost|David Frost]]'' (1993)

* '''I do not envy people who think they have a complete explanation of the world, for the simple reason that they are obviously wrong.'''
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with David Frost'' (1993)

* Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.
** ''The Hindu'' (26 February 1995)

* '''The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.'''
** ''The Ground Beneath Her Feet'' (1999)

* I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
** ''Real Time with [[Bill Maher]]'' TV show (7 October 2005)

* What kind of God is it who's upset by a cartoon in Danish?
** Interview with [[Bill Moyers]], [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/portraits_rushdie.html ''Bill Moyers on Faith &amp; Reason'' (23 June 2006)] - [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/faithandreason101_print.html transcript]

*'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.  'I stand with ''Charlie Hebdo'', as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.
** Statement in ''[[w:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', [http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2015/01/07/salman-rushdie-i-stand-with-charlie-hebdo-as-we-all-must/ Salman Rushdie: &quot;I Stand With ''Charlie Hebdo'', as We All Must&quot;] '' (7 January 2015)

* The fundamentalist seeks to bring down a great deal more than buildings. Such people are against, to offer just a brief list, freedom of speech, a multi-party political system, universal adult suffrage, accountable government, Jews, homosexuals, women's rights, pluralism, secularism, short skits, dancing, beardlessness, evolution theory, sex. There are tyrants, not Muslims. United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan has said that we should now define ourselves not only by what we are for but by what we are against. I would reverse that proposition, because in the present instance what we are against is a no brainer. Suicidist assassins ram wide-bodied aircraft into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and kill thousands of people: um, I'm against that. But what are we for? What will we risk our lives to defend? Can we unanimously concur that all the items in the preceding list — yes, even the short skirts and the dancing — are worth dying for? The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his world-view, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world's resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them. How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.
** ''Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992–2002''

* '''Two things form the bedrock of any open society—freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.'''
** ''The Times of India'', [http://archive.is/ecOpa ‘Don’t allow religious hooligans to dictate terms’] (16 January 2008)

=== ''[[w:Midnight's Children|Midnight's Children]]'' (1981) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie.jpg|thumb|I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are just a few sample quotes; for more quotes from this work see '''''[[Midnight's Children]]'''''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Children are the vessels into which adults pour their poison.'''

* '''Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.''' I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each &quot;I&quot;, everyone of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. '''I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you'll have to swallow a world.'''

=== ''[[w:The Satanic Verses|The Satanic Verses]]'' (1988) ===
{{main|The Satanic Verses}}

* |[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].

* '''The world, somebody wrote, is the place we prove real by dying in it.'''

=== Address at Columbia University (1991) ===
[[File:Rushdie.JPG|thumb|Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to [[listen]] seriously to what I had to say.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie-address.html Excerpts From Rushdie's Address: 1,000 Days 'Trapped Inside a Metaphor' ''The New York Times'' (12 December 1991)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 02.JPG|thumb| [[Free speech]] is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is [[life]] itself.]]

* '''For many people, I've ceased to be a human being. I've become an issue, a bother, an &quot;affair.&quot; ... And has it really been so long since religions persecuted people, burning them as heretics, drowning them as witches, that you can't recognize religious persecution when you see it?''' ... What is my single life worth? Despair whispers in my ear: &quot;Not a lot.&quot; But I refuse to give in to despair ... because ... '''I know that many people do care, and are appalled by the ... upside-down logic of the post-fatwa world, in which a ... novelist can be accused of having savaged or &quot;mugged&quot; a whole community, becoming its tormentor (instead of its ... victim) and the scapegoat for ... its discontents... . (What minority is smaller and weaker than a minority of one?)'''

* I determined to make my peace with Islam, even at the cost of my pride. Those who were surprised and displeased by what I did perhaps failed to see that ... I wanted to make peace between the warring halves of the world, which were also the warring halves of my soul... . &lt;br&gt; The really important conversations I had in this period were with myself.&lt;br&gt;I said: Salman, you must send a message loud enough to ... make ordinary Muslims see that you aren't their enemy, and you must make the West understand a little more of the complexity of Muslim culture ..., and start thinking a little less stereotypically... . And I said to myself: Admit it, Salman, the Story of Islam has a deeper meaning for you than any of the other grand narratives. Of course you're no mystic, mister... . No supernaturalism, no literalist orthodoxies ... for you. But '''Islam doesn't have to mean blind faith. It can mean what it always meant in your family, a culture, a civilization, as open-minded as your grandfather was, as delightedly disputatious as your father was. ... Don't let the zealots make Muslim a terrifying word, I urged myself; remember when it meant family'''. ... &lt;br&gt;I reminded myself that I had always argued that it was necessary to develop the nascent concept of the &quot;secular Muslim,&quot; who, like the secular Jew, affirmed his membership of the culture while being separate from the theology... . But, Salman, I told myself, you can't argue from outside the debating chamber. You've got to cross the threshold, go inside the room, and then fight for your humanized, historicized, secularized way of being a Muslim.

* '''Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.''' In the West, some &quot;friends&quot; turned against me, calling me by yet another set of insulting names. Now I was spineless, pathetic, debased; I had betrayed myself, my Cause; above all, I had betrayed them . &lt;br&gt; I also found myself up against the granite, heartless certainties of Actually Existing Islam, by which I mean the political and priestly power structure that presently dominates and stifles Muslim societies. Actually Existing Islam has failed to create a free society anywhere on Earth, and it wasn't about to let me, of all people, argue in favor of one.

* I reluctantly concluded that there was no way for me to help bring into being the Muslim culture I'd dreamed of, the progressive, irreverent, skeptical, argumentative, playful and ''unafraid'' culture which is what I've always understood as ''freedom''. Not me, not in this lifetime, no chance. Actually Existing Islam, which has all but deified its Prophet, a man who always fought passionately against such deification, which has supplanted a priest-free religion by a priest-ridden one, which makes literalism a weapon and redescription a crime, will never let the likes of me in.

* '''[[w:Averroes|Ibn Rushd]]'s ideas were silenced in their time.''' And throughout the Muslim world today, progressive ideas are in retreat. Actually Existing Islam reigns supreme, and just as the recently destroyed &quot;Actually Existing Socialism&quot; of the Soviet terror-state was horrifically unlike the utopia of peace and equality of which democratic socialists have dreamed, so also is Actually Existing Islam a force to which I have never given in, to which I cannot submit. &lt;br&gt; '''There is a point beyond which conciliation looks like capitulation. I do not believe I passed that point, but others have thought otherwise.'''

* &quot;Our lives teach us who we are.&quot; I have learned the hard way that when you permit anyone else's description of reality to supplant your own — and such descriptions have been raining down on me, from security advisers, governments, journalists, Archbishops, friends, enemies, mullahs — then you might as well be dead. '''Obviously, a rigid, blinkered, absolutist [[world view]] is the easiest to keep hold of, whereas the fluid, uncertain, metamorphic picture I've always carried about is rather more vulnerable.''' Yet I must cling with all my might to ... my own soul; must hold on to its mischievous, iconoclastic, out-of-step clown-instincts, no matter how great the storm. '''And if that plunges me into contradiction and paradox, so be it; I've lived in that messy ocean all my life. I've fished in it for my art.''' This turbulent sea was the sea outside my bedroom window in Bombay. It is the sea by which I was born, and which I carry within me wherever I go. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Free speech is a non-starter,&quot; says one of my Islamic extremist opponents. No, sir, it is not. '''Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.'''

=== ''Salon'' interview (1996) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 01.JPG|thumb| Nothing really [[improves]] us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview.html When life becomes a bad novel] - [http://web.archive.org/web/20000303114537/http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview2.html The Salon Interview: Salman Rushdie]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''When I was growing up, everyone around me was fond of fooling around with words.''' It was certainly common in my family, but I think it is typical of Bombay, and maybe of India, that there is a sense of play in the way people use language. Most people in India are multilingual, and if you listen to the urban speech patterns there you'll find it's quite characteristic that a sentence will begin in one language, go through a second language and end in a third. '''It's the very playful, very natural result of juggling languages. You are always reaching for the most appropriate phrase.'''

* '''It's fun to read things when you don't know all the words. Even children love it.''' One of the things any great children's writer will tell you is that children like it if in books designed for their age group there is a vocabulary just slightly bigger than theirs. '''So they come up against weird words, and the weird words excite them.''' If you describe a small girl in a story as “loquacious,” it works so much better than “talkative.” And then some little girl will read the book and her sister will be shooting her mouth off and she will say to her sister, “Don't be so ''loquacious''.” It is a whole new weapon in her arsenal.

* '''Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.''' Some people are paralyzed by the consciousness of death, other people live with it. ... The fatwa certainly made me think about it a lot more than I ever had. I guess I know I'm going to die, but then, so are you. And one of the things that I thought a lot about at the time of the fatwa and ever since is that quite a few of the people I really care about died during this period, all about the same age as I am, and they were not under a death sentence. They just died, of lung cancer, AIDS, whatever. It occurred to me that you don't need a fatwa, it can happen anytime.

=== ''The Hindu'' interview (2012) ===
* There is no right in the world not to be offended. That right simply doesn't exist. In a free society, an open society, people have strong opinions, and these opinions very often clash. In a democracy, we have to learn to deal with this. And this is true about novels, it's true about cartoons, it's true about all these products.
* A question I have often asked is, ‘What would an inoffensive political cartoon look like?’ What would a respectful cartoon look like? The form requires disrespect and so if we are going to have in the world things like cartoons and satire, we just have to accept it as part of the price of freedom.

== Quotes about Rushdie ==
[[File:Pia Glenn and Salman Rushdie Shankbone 2009 Vanity Fair.jpg|thumb|Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of [[history]] must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it. ~ [[Malcolm Bradbury]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author or source.&lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Yusuf Islam (cropped).jpg|thumb|I never called for the [[death]] of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don’t. … I [[foolishly]] made light of certain provocative questions. … Certainly I [[regret]] giving those sorts of responses now. ~  [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]] ]]

* If a [[Salman Rushdie|blasphemer]] can be given the title &quot;Sir&quot; by the West despite the fact he has hurt the feelings of Muslims, then a '''[[Osama bin Laden|mujahid]]''' [Osama bin Laden] who has been fighting for Islam against the Russians, Americans and British must be given the lofty title of Islam, '''Saifullah.'''
** Tahir Ashrafi, Pakistan Ulema Council chairman, quoted in  [http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54140&amp;in_page_id=34 Bin Laden made a Sword of Islam], ''Metro.co.uk'' (21 June 2007)

* '''Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it.'''
** [[Malcolm Bradbury]], in ''The Guardian'' (8 September 1983)

* Salman Rushdie, the author of the book ''Satanic Verses'', must be executed on the basis of the religious fatwa by His Eminence [[Imam Khomeini]]. He has no escape from this fatwa.
**[[Mohammad Khatami]], [http://www.iran-e-azad.org/english/khatami.html Kayhan, (7 March 1989)]

* I would like to inform all the intrepid Muslims in the world... that the author of the book titled ''The Satanic Verses'', which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to [[Islam]], the [[Muhammad|Prophet]], and the [[Koran]], as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been declared ''madhur el dam'' [“those whose blood must be shed”]. I call on all zealous Muslims to execute them quickly, wherever they find them, so that no one will dare to insult Islam again... .
**[[Imam Khomeini]], [http://www.iranian.com/Pictory/2003/February/fatwa.html Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie read on Iran's state radio on] (14 February 1989) [http://crf-usa.org/bria/bria15_1.html#blas CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOUNDATION]

* '''I think when you are Salman Rushdie, you must get bored with people who always want to talk to you about literature.'''
** [[w:Riya Sen|Riya Sen]], in [http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23518410-as-salman-rushdie-steps-out-with-another-beautiful-woman-just-how-does-he-do-it.do &quot;As Salman Rushdie steps out with another beautiful woman... just how DOES he do it?&quot; in ''The Evening Star'' (21 July 2008)]

* In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death. It's got to be seen as a deterrent, so that other people should not commit the same mistake again.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in &quot;Yussuf Islam, Formerly Cat Stevens, Expresses Support For Rushdie Death Sentence&quot; in ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (1989)

* '''I'm very sad that this seems to be the No. 1 question people want to discuss.''' I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created. I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy. So, after many years, I'm glad at least now that I have been given the opportunity to explain to the public and fans my side of the story in my own words. At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. '''The next day the newspaper headlines read, &quot;Cat Says, Kill Rushdie.&quot;''' I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention [[w:Leviticus|Leviticus]] 24:16.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/catstevens/articles/story/5927176/cat_stevens_breaks_his_silence &quot;Cat Stevens Breaks His Silence,&quot; by Andrew Dansby in ''Rolling Stone'' (14 June 2000)]; Leviticus 24:16 reads : &quot;And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.&quot;

* '''I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don't.''' The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis. &lt;br&gt; When asked about my opinion regarding blasphemy, I could not tell a lie and confirmed that — like both the Torah and the Gospel — the Qur'an considers it, without repentance, as a capital offense. The Bible is full of similar harsh laws if you're looking for them. However, the application of such Biblical and Qur'anic injunctions is not to be outside of [[due process of law]], in a place or land where such law is accepted and applied by the society as a whole.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html#18 &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot;] ''Mountain of Light'' (undated)

* In 1989, during the heat and height of the ''[[The Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]]'' controversy, I was silly enough to accept appearing on a program called ''Hypotheticals'' which posed imaginary scenarios by a well-versed (what if...?) barrister, [[w:Geoffrey Robertson|Geoffrey Robertson]] QC. '''I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions.''' When asked what I'd do if Salman Rushdie entered a restaurant in which I was eating, I said, “I would probably call up Ayatollah Khomeini”; and, rather than go to a demonstration to burn an effigy of the author, I jokingly said I would have preferred that it'd be the “real thing”. &lt;br&gt; Criticize me for my bad taste, in hindsight, I agree. ... '''Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now.''' However, it must be noted that the final edit of the program was made to look extremely serious; hardly any laughs were left in and much common sense was savagely cut out. ... Balanced arguments were cut out and the most sensational quotes, preserved.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot; ''Mountain of Light''] (undated)

* Almost all Muslims, including the most enlightened, feel offended by Rushdie's novel or, rather, by reports they have read or heard about it. Very few people have actually read the dense and tortuous book, but they do not have to. The very idea of using the prophet Muhammad as a character in a novel is painful to many Muslims. The entire Islamic system consists of the so-called ''Hodud'', or limits beyond which one should simply not venture. Islam does not recognize unlimited freedom of expression. Call them taboos, if you like, but Islam considers a wide variety of topics as permanently closed. Most Muslims are prepared to be broad-minded about most things but never anything that even remotely touches their faith... To Muslims religion is not just a part of life. It is, in fact, life that is a part of religion. Muslims cannot understand a concept that has no rules, no limits. The Western belief in human rights, which seems to lack limits, is alien to Islamic traditions... The fact that Rushdie propagated his heresy in a book is of especial significance to Muslims. Islam is the religion of the book ''par excellence''. Few cultures hold the written and printed word in so much awe as Muslims, even though the vast majority are illiterate. When a Muslim wants to clinch an argument he says, 'It is written.'
** [[Amir Taheri]], &quot;Khomeini's Scapegoat&quot;, ''Times'', London, (February 13, 1989)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.salman-rushdie.com Official Salman Rushdie website]
* {{dmoz|Arts/Literature/Authors/R/Rushdie,_Salman}}
* [http://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth87 British Council: Contemporary writers: Salman Rushdie]
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5531/the-art-of-fiction-no-186-salman-rushdie &quot;Salman Rushdie, The Art of Fiction No. 186&quot; by Jack Livings in ''The Paris Review'' (Summer 2005)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie.html ''New York Times'' special feature on Rushdie, 1999]
* [http://www.vernoncorea.info Vernon Corea The Golden Voice of Radio Ceylon] 
* [http://www.jimloy.com/issues/rushdie.htm Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/witn/2007/06/070618_rushdie.shtml &quot;Rushdie knighthood an insult to Islam, says Tehran&quot; ''BBC News'' (18 June 2007)] 
* [http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=57643&amp;videoChannel=2 Row over Rushdie knighthood grows&quot; ''Reuters'' (June 2007)]
* [http://217.218.67.244/presstv/070621/13-58%20Nasir-Islamabad.wmv &quot;Pakistani women protest against Rushdie&quot; (June 2007)]
* [http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/interview/there-is-no-right-not-to-be-offended/article3969404.ece ''The Hindu'' interview 'There is no right not to be offended' (2012-10-08)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rushdie, Salman}}
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[[Category:Atheists]]
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[[Category:Free speech activists]]
[[Category:1947 births]]
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[[Category:Postmodern authors]]</text>
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      <text bytes="29783" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Salman Rushdie 2011 Shankbone.JPG|thumb|What is [[freedom]] of [[expression]]? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to [[exist]].]]
'''[[w:Salman Rushdie|Sir Salman Rushdie]]''' (born '''Ahmed Salman Rushdie''', Urdu: أحمد سلمان رشدی, Hindi: अह्मद सलमान रश्डी on [[19 June]] [[1947]]) is an Indian-born British novelist and essayist, most of which is set on the Indian subcontinent.
: See also:
::'''''[[Midnight's Children]]''''' (1981)
::'''''[[The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988)
::'''''[[The Ground Beneath Her Feet]]''''' (1999)

== Quotes ==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|[[Meaning]] is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.]]
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 03bis.jpg|thumb|I do not [[envy]] people who think they have a [[complete]] [[explanation]] of the [[world]], for the [[simple]] reason that they are obviously [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Salman-Rushdie-1.jpg|thumb|The only people who see the [[whole]] picture are the ones who step outside the frame.]]

* '''It matters, it always matters, to name rubbish as rubbish ... to do otherwise is to legitimize it.'''
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20110618004653/http://www.granta.com/Magazine/11/Outside-the-Whale/Page-2 &quot;Outside The Whale&quot; in ''Granta'' (1984)]

* God, Satan, Paradise, and Hell all vanished one day in my fifteenth year, when I quite abruptly lost my faith. ... and afterwards, to prove my new-found atheism, I bought myself a rather tasteless ham sandwich, and so partook for the first time of the forbidden flesh of the swine. No thunderbolt arrived to strike me down. ... From that day to this I have thought of myself as a wholly secular person.
** &quot;In God We Trust&quot; (1985)

*It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
**(When asked if he apprehended riots) Interview with Shrabani Basu (September 1988), quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). ''Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism\\. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32

* The responsibility for violence lies with those who perpetrate it.
** &quot;In Good Faith&quot; (1990), p. 19

* '''The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas — uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.'''
** Herbert Reade Memorial Lecture (6 February 1990)

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* '''What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.'''
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' p. 391 (1992)

* '''It may be argued that the past is a country from which we have all emigrated, that its loss is part of our common humanity.''' Which seems to be self-evidently true; but I suggest that the writer who is out-of-country and even out-of-language may experience this loss in an intensified form. It is made more concrete for him by the physical fact of discontinuity, of his present being in a different place from his past, of his being &quot;elsewhere&quot;... '''human beings do not perceive things whole; we are not gods but wounded creatures, cracked lenses, capably only of fractured perceptions. Partial beings, in all the senses of that phrase.''' Meaning is a shaky edifice we build out of scraps, dogmas, childhood injuries, newspaper articles, chance remarks, old films, small victories, people hated, people loved; perhaps it is because of our sense of what is the case is constructed from such inadequate materials that we defend it so fiercely, even to the death.
** ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

* I don't think there is a need for an entity like God in my life. 
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with [[w:David Frost|David Frost]]'' (1993)

* '''I do not envy people who think they have a complete explanation of the world, for the simple reason that they are obviously wrong.'''
** ''Salman Rushdie — Talking with David Frost'' (1993)

* Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.
** ''The Hindu'' (26 February 1995)

* '''The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.'''
** ''The Ground Beneath Her Feet'' (1999)

* I've been worrying about God a little bit lately. It seems as if he's been lashing out, you know, destroying cities, annihilating places. It seems like he's been in a bad mood. And I think it has to do with the quality of lovers he's been getting. If you look at the people who love God now, you know, if I was God, I'd need to destroy something.
** ''Real Time with [[Bill Maher]]'' TV show (7 October 2005)

* What kind of God is it who's upset by a cartoon in Danish?
** Interview with [[Bill Moyers]], [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/portraits_rushdie.html ''Bill Moyers on Faith &amp; Reason'' (23 June 2006)] - [http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/faithandreason101_print.html transcript]

*'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.  'I stand with ''Charlie Hebdo'', as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.
** Statement in ''[[w:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', [http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2015/01/07/salman-rushdie-i-stand-with-charlie-hebdo-as-we-all-must/ Salman Rushdie: &quot;I Stand With ''Charlie Hebdo'', as We All Must&quot;] '' (7 January 2015)

* The fundamentalist seeks to bring down a great deal more than buildings. Such people are against, to offer just a brief list, freedom of speech, a multi-party political system, universal adult suffrage, accountable government, Jews, homosexuals, women's rights, pluralism, secularism, short skits, dancing, beardlessness, evolution theory, sex. There are tyrants, not Muslims. United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan has said that we should now define ourselves not only by what we are for but by what we are against. I would reverse that proposition, because in the present instance what we are against is a no brainer. Suicidist assassins ram wide-bodied aircraft into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and kill thousands of people: um, I'm against that. But what are we for? What will we risk our lives to defend? Can we unanimously concur that all the items in the preceding list — yes, even the short skirts and the dancing — are worth dying for? The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his world-view, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world's resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them. How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.
** ''Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992–2002''

* '''Two things form the bedrock of any open society—freedom of expression and rule of law. If you don't have those things, you don't have a free country.'''
** ''The Times of India'', [http://archive.is/ecOpa ‘Don’t allow religious hooligans to dictate terms’] (16 January 2008)

=== ''[[w:Midnight's Children|Midnight's Children]]'' (1981) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie.jpg|thumb|I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are just a few sample quotes; for more quotes from this work see '''''[[Midnight's Children]]'''''&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Children are the vessels into which adults pour their poison.'''

* '''Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.''' I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each &quot;I&quot;, everyone of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. '''I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you'll have to swallow a world.'''

=== ''[[w:The Satanic Verses|The Satanic Verses]]'' (1988) ===
{{main|The Satanic Verses}}

* [[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].

* '''The world, somebody wrote, is the place we prove real by dying in it.'''

=== Address at Columbia University (1991) ===
[[File:Rushdie.JPG|thumb|Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to [[listen]] seriously to what I had to say.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie-address.html Excerpts From Rushdie's Address: 1,000 Days 'Trapped Inside a Metaphor' ''The New York Times'' (12 December 1991)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 02.JPG|thumb| [[Free speech]] is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is [[life]] itself.]]

* '''For many people, I've ceased to be a human being. I've become an issue, a bother, an &quot;affair.&quot; ... And has it really been so long since religions persecuted people, burning them as heretics, drowning them as witches, that you can't recognize religious persecution when you see it?''' ... What is my single life worth? Despair whispers in my ear: &quot;Not a lot.&quot; But I refuse to give in to despair ... because ... '''I know that many people do care, and are appalled by the ... upside-down logic of the post-fatwa world, in which a ... novelist can be accused of having savaged or &quot;mugged&quot; a whole community, becoming its tormentor (instead of its ... victim) and the scapegoat for ... its discontents... . (What minority is smaller and weaker than a minority of one?)'''

* I determined to make my peace with Islam, even at the cost of my pride. Those who were surprised and displeased by what I did perhaps failed to see that ... I wanted to make peace between the warring halves of the world, which were also the warring halves of my soul... . &lt;br&gt; The really important conversations I had in this period were with myself.&lt;br&gt;I said: Salman, you must send a message loud enough to ... make ordinary Muslims see that you aren't their enemy, and you must make the West understand a little more of the complexity of Muslim culture ..., and start thinking a little less stereotypically... . And I said to myself: Admit it, Salman, the Story of Islam has a deeper meaning for you than any of the other grand narratives. Of course you're no mystic, mister... . No supernaturalism, no literalist orthodoxies ... for you. But '''Islam doesn't have to mean blind faith. It can mean what it always meant in your family, a culture, a civilization, as open-minded as your grandfather was, as delightedly disputatious as your father was. ... Don't let the zealots make Muslim a terrifying word, I urged myself; remember when it meant family'''. ... &lt;br&gt;I reminded myself that I had always argued that it was necessary to develop the nascent concept of the &quot;secular Muslim,&quot; who, like the secular Jew, affirmed his membership of the culture while being separate from the theology... . But, Salman, I told myself, you can't argue from outside the debating chamber. You've got to cross the threshold, go inside the room, and then fight for your humanized, historicized, secularized way of being a Muslim.

* '''Too many people had spent too long demonizing or totemizing me to listen seriously to what I had to say.''' In the West, some &quot;friends&quot; turned against me, calling me by yet another set of insulting names. Now I was spineless, pathetic, debased; I had betrayed myself, my Cause; above all, I had betrayed them . &lt;br&gt; I also found myself up against the granite, heartless certainties of Actually Existing Islam, by which I mean the political and priestly power structure that presently dominates and stifles Muslim societies. Actually Existing Islam has failed to create a free society anywhere on Earth, and it wasn't about to let me, of all people, argue in favor of one.

* I reluctantly concluded that there was no way for me to help bring into being the Muslim culture I'd dreamed of, the progressive, irreverent, skeptical, argumentative, playful and ''unafraid'' culture which is what I've always understood as ''freedom''. Not me, not in this lifetime, no chance. Actually Existing Islam, which has all but deified its Prophet, a man who always fought passionately against such deification, which has supplanted a priest-free religion by a priest-ridden one, which makes literalism a weapon and redescription a crime, will never let the likes of me in.

* '''[[w:Averroes|Ibn Rushd]]'s ideas were silenced in their time.''' And throughout the Muslim world today, progressive ideas are in retreat. Actually Existing Islam reigns supreme, and just as the recently destroyed &quot;Actually Existing Socialism&quot; of the Soviet terror-state was horrifically unlike the utopia of peace and equality of which democratic socialists have dreamed, so also is Actually Existing Islam a force to which I have never given in, to which I cannot submit. &lt;br&gt; '''There is a point beyond which conciliation looks like capitulation. I do not believe I passed that point, but others have thought otherwise.'''

* &quot;Our lives teach us who we are.&quot; I have learned the hard way that when you permit anyone else's description of reality to supplant your own — and such descriptions have been raining down on me, from security advisers, governments, journalists, Archbishops, friends, enemies, mullahs — then you might as well be dead. '''Obviously, a rigid, blinkered, absolutist [[world view]] is the easiest to keep hold of, whereas the fluid, uncertain, metamorphic picture I've always carried about is rather more vulnerable.''' Yet I must cling with all my might to ... my own soul; must hold on to its mischievous, iconoclastic, out-of-step clown-instincts, no matter how great the storm. '''And if that plunges me into contradiction and paradox, so be it; I've lived in that messy ocean all my life. I've fished in it for my art.''' This turbulent sea was the sea outside my bedroom window in Bombay. It is the sea by which I was born, and which I carry within me wherever I go. &lt;br&gt; &quot;Free speech is a non-starter,&quot; says one of my Islamic extremist opponents. No, sir, it is not. '''Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.'''

=== ''Salon'' interview (1996) ===
[[File:Salman Rushdie by Kubik 01.JPG|thumb| Nothing really [[improves]] us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview.html When life becomes a bad novel] - [http://web.archive.org/web/20000303114537/http://www.salon.com/06/features/interview2.html The Salon Interview: Salman Rushdie]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''When I was growing up, everyone around me was fond of fooling around with words.''' It was certainly common in my family, but I think it is typical of Bombay, and maybe of India, that there is a sense of play in the way people use language. Most people in India are multilingual, and if you listen to the urban speech patterns there you'll find it's quite characteristic that a sentence will begin in one language, go through a second language and end in a third. '''It's the very playful, very natural result of juggling languages. You are always reaching for the most appropriate phrase.'''

* '''It's fun to read things when you don't know all the words. Even children love it.''' One of the things any great children's writer will tell you is that children like it if in books designed for their age group there is a vocabulary just slightly bigger than theirs. '''So they come up against weird words, and the weird words excite them.''' If you describe a small girl in a story as “loquacious,” it works so much better than “talkative.” And then some little girl will read the book and her sister will be shooting her mouth off and she will say to her sister, “Don't be so ''loquacious''.” It is a whole new weapon in her arsenal.

* '''Nothing really improves us. Whatever improves one person will disimprove another.''' Some people are paralyzed by the consciousness of death, other people live with it. ... The fatwa certainly made me think about it a lot more than I ever had. I guess I know I'm going to die, but then, so are you. And one of the things that I thought a lot about at the time of the fatwa and ever since is that quite a few of the people I really care about died during this period, all about the same age as I am, and they were not under a death sentence. They just died, of lung cancer, AIDS, whatever. It occurred to me that you don't need a fatwa, it can happen anytime.

=== ''The Hindu'' interview (2012) ===
* There is no right in the world not to be offended. That right simply doesn't exist. In a free society, an open society, people have strong opinions, and these opinions very often clash. In a democracy, we have to learn to deal with this. And this is true about novels, it's true about cartoons, it's true about all these products.
* A question I have often asked is, ‘What would an inoffensive political cartoon look like?’ What would a respectful cartoon look like? The form requires disrespect and so if we are going to have in the world things like cartoons and satire, we just have to accept it as part of the price of freedom.

== Quotes about Rushdie ==
[[File:Pia Glenn and Salman Rushdie Shankbone 2009 Vanity Fair.jpg|thumb|Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of [[history]] must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it. ~ [[Malcolm Bradbury]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author or source.&lt;/small&gt;

[[File:Yusuf Islam (cropped).jpg|thumb|I never called for the [[death]] of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don’t. … I [[foolishly]] made light of certain provocative questions. … Certainly I [[regret]] giving those sorts of responses now. ~  [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]] ]]

* If a [[Salman Rushdie|blasphemer]] can be given the title &quot;Sir&quot; by the West despite the fact he has hurt the feelings of Muslims, then a '''[[Osama bin Laden|mujahid]]''' [Osama bin Laden] who has been fighting for Islam against the Russians, Americans and British must be given the lofty title of Islam, '''Saifullah.'''
** Tahir Ashrafi, Pakistan Ulema Council chairman, quoted in  [http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54140&amp;in_page_id=34 Bin Laden made a Sword of Islam], ''Metro.co.uk'' (21 June 2007)

* '''Rushdie shows us with what fantasy our sort of history must now be written — if, that is, we are to penetrate it, and perhaps even save it.'''
** [[Malcolm Bradbury]], in ''The Guardian'' (8 September 1983)

* Salman Rushdie, the author of the book ''Satanic Verses'', must be executed on the basis of the religious fatwa by His Eminence [[Imam Khomeini]]. He has no escape from this fatwa.
**[[Mohammad Khatami]], [http://www.iran-e-azad.org/english/khatami.html Kayhan, (7 March 1989)]

* I would like to inform all the intrepid Muslims in the world... that the author of the book titled ''The Satanic Verses'', which has been compiled, printed, and published in opposition to [[Islam]], the [[Muhammad|Prophet]], and the [[Koran]], as well as those publishers who were aware of its contents, have been declared ''madhur el dam'' [“those whose blood must be shed”]. I call on all zealous Muslims to execute them quickly, wherever they find them, so that no one will dare to insult Islam again... .
**[[Imam Khomeini]], [http://www.iranian.com/Pictory/2003/February/fatwa.html Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie read on Iran's state radio on] (14 February 1989) [http://crf-usa.org/bria/bria15_1.html#blas CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS FOUNDATION]

* '''I think when you are Salman Rushdie, you must get bored with people who always want to talk to you about literature.'''
** [[w:Riya Sen|Riya Sen]], in [http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23518410-as-salman-rushdie-steps-out-with-another-beautiful-woman-just-how-does-he-do-it.do &quot;As Salman Rushdie steps out with another beautiful woman... just how DOES he do it?&quot; in ''The Evening Star'' (21 July 2008)]

* In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death. It's got to be seen as a deterrent, so that other people should not commit the same mistake again.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in &quot;Yussuf Islam, Formerly Cat Stevens, Expresses Support For Rushdie Death Sentence&quot; in ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (1989)

* '''I'm very sad that this seems to be the No. 1 question people want to discuss.''' I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created. I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy. So, after many years, I'm glad at least now that I have been given the opportunity to explain to the public and fans my side of the story in my own words. At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. '''The next day the newspaper headlines read, &quot;Cat Says, Kill Rushdie.&quot;''' I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention [[w:Leviticus|Leviticus]] 24:16.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], as quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/catstevens/articles/story/5927176/cat_stevens_breaks_his_silence &quot;Cat Stevens Breaks His Silence,&quot; by Andrew Dansby in ''Rolling Stone'' (14 June 2000)]; Leviticus 24:16 reads : &quot;And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.&quot;

* '''I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the [[Ayatollah Khomeini]] — and still don't.''' The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis. &lt;br&gt; When asked about my opinion regarding blasphemy, I could not tell a lie and confirmed that — like both the Torah and the Gospel — the Qur'an considers it, without repentance, as a capital offense. The Bible is full of similar harsh laws if you're looking for them. However, the application of such Biblical and Qur'anic injunctions is not to be outside of [[due process of law]], in a place or land where such law is accepted and applied by the society as a whole.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html#18 &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot;] ''Mountain of Light'' (undated)

* In 1989, during the heat and height of the ''[[The Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]]'' controversy, I was silly enough to accept appearing on a program called ''Hypotheticals'' which posed imaginary scenarios by a well-versed (what if...?) barrister, [[w:Geoffrey Robertson|Geoffrey Robertson]] QC. '''I foolishly made light of certain provocative questions.''' When asked what I'd do if Salman Rushdie entered a restaurant in which I was eating, I said, “I would probably call up Ayatollah Khomeini”; and, rather than go to a demonstration to burn an effigy of the author, I jokingly said I would have preferred that it'd be the “real thing”. &lt;br&gt; Criticize me for my bad taste, in hindsight, I agree. ... '''Certainly I regret giving those sorts of responses now.''' However, it must be noted that the final edit of the program was made to look extremely serious; hardly any laughs were left in and much common sense was savagely cut out. ... Balanced arguments were cut out and the most sensational quotes, preserved.
** [[Cat Stevens|Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)]], in [http://www.mountainoflight.co.uk/talks_cw.html &quot;Chinese Whiskers,&quot; FAQ #18: &quot;Did Cat Stevens Say, ‘Kill Rushdie!’?,&quot; ''Mountain of Light''] (undated)

* Almost all Muslims, including the most enlightened, feel offended by Rushdie's novel or, rather, by reports they have read or heard about it. Very few people have actually read the dense and tortuous book, but they do not have to. The very idea of using the prophet Muhammad as a character in a novel is painful to many Muslims. The entire Islamic system consists of the so-called ''Hodud'', or limits beyond which one should simply not venture. Islam does not recognize unlimited freedom of expression. Call them taboos, if you like, but Islam considers a wide variety of topics as permanently closed. Most Muslims are prepared to be broad-minded about most things but never anything that even remotely touches their faith... To Muslims religion is not just a part of life. It is, in fact, life that is a part of religion. Muslims cannot understand a concept that has no rules, no limits. The Western belief in human rights, which seems to lack limits, is alien to Islamic traditions... The fact that Rushdie propagated his heresy in a book is of especial significance to Muslims. Islam is the religion of the book ''par excellence''. Few cultures hold the written and printed word in so much awe as Muslims, even though the vast majority are illiterate. When a Muslim wants to clinch an argument he says, 'It is written.'
** [[Amir Taheri]], &quot;Khomeini's Scapegoat&quot;, ''Times'', London, (February 13, 1989)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.salman-rushdie.com Official Salman Rushdie website]
* {{dmoz|Arts/Literature/Authors/R/Rushdie,_Salman}}
* [http://www.contemporarywriters.com/authors/?p=auth87 British Council: Contemporary writers: Salman Rushdie]
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5531/the-art-of-fiction-no-186-salman-rushdie &quot;Salman Rushdie, The Art of Fiction No. 186&quot; by Jack Livings in ''The Paris Review'' (Summer 2005)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/04/18/specials/rushdie.html ''New York Times'' special feature on Rushdie, 1999]
* [http://www.vernoncorea.info Vernon Corea The Golden Voice of Radio Ceylon] 
* [http://www.jimloy.com/issues/rushdie.htm Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses]
* [http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/witn/2007/06/070618_rushdie.shtml &quot;Rushdie knighthood an insult to Islam, says Tehran&quot; ''BBC News'' (18 June 2007)] 
* [http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=57643&amp;videoChannel=2 Row over Rushdie knighthood grows&quot; ''Reuters'' (June 2007)]
* [http://217.218.67.244/presstv/070621/13-58%20Nasir-Islamabad.wmv &quot;Pakistani women protest against Rushdie&quot; (June 2007)]
* [http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/interview/there-is-no-right-not-to-be-offended/article3969404.ece ''The Hindu'' interview 'There is no right not to be offended' (2012-10-08)]

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      <text bytes="5673" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tux.svg|144px|thumb|right|penguin Tux, the Linux Mascot]]
'''[[w:Linux (kernel)|Linux]]''' is a free and open-source [[w:kernel (operating system)|kernel]] for [[w:unix-like|unix-like]] operating systems. It was first developed in 1991 by [[w:Linus Torvalds|Linus Torvalds]].

== Quotes ==
* Linux is not in the public domain. Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches. That's the way that the license works.
** [[Steve Ballmer]]. Cited in &quot;[https://web.archive.org/web/20011108013601/http://www.suntimes.com/output/tech/cst-fin-micro01.html Microsoft CEO takes launch break with the Sun-Times]&quot; (1 June 2001) ''Chicago Sun Times''

* Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.
** {{cite web| url=http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=cola-liw-834355743-12037-0%40liw.clinet.fi| title=Post to comp.os.linux.announce newsgroup| date=1996-06-09| author=Torvalds, Linus| accessdate=2006-08-28}}

* …the Linux philosophy is 'laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong one. 'Do it yourself'. That's it.
** {{cite web| url=http://groups.google.com/groups?&amp;selm=Pine.LNX.3.91.961016155929.27735D-100000%40linux.cs.Helsinki.FI| title=Post to linux.dev.kernel newsgroup| date=1996-10-16| author=Torvalds, Linus| accessdate=2006-08-28}}

* Linux is only free if your time has no value.
** {{cite web| url=http://www.jwz.org/doc/linux.html | title=mouthing off about linux. date=2000| author=[[:w:Jamie Zawinski|Jamie Zawinski]]| accessdate=2008-12-21}}

* Note that nobody reads every post in linux-kernel. In fact, nobody who expects to have time left over to actually do any real kernel work will read even half. Except [[w:Alan Cox|Alan Cox]], but he's actually not human, but about a thousand [[gnomes]] working in under-ground caves in Swansea. None of the individual gnomes read all the postings either, they just work together really well.
** {{cite web| url=https://groups.google.com/d/msg/fa.linux.kernel/iQtWFALi4JA/eSzv64_tOvoJ| title=Post to fa.linux.kernel newsgroup| date=2000-05-02| author=Torvalds, Linus| accessdate=2006-08-28}}

* 2.6.&lt;odd&gt;: still a stable kernel, but accept bigger changes leading up to it (timeframe: a month or two). &lt;br/&gt; 2.&lt;odd&gt;.x: aim for big changes that may destabilize the kernel for several releases (timeframe: a year or two) &lt;br/&gt; &lt;odd&gt;.x.x: Linus went crazy, broke absolutely _everything_, and rewrote the kernel to be a microkernel using a special message-passing version of Visual Basic. (timeframe: &quot;we expect that he will be released from the mental institution in a decade or two&quot;).
** {{cite web| url=http://lkml.org/lkml/2005/3/2/247| title=Message to Linux kernel mailing list| date=2005-03-02| author=Torvalds, Linus| accessdate=2006-12-11}}

* Making Linux GPL'd was definitely the best thing I ever did.
** {{cite web| url=http://hotwired.goo.ne.jp/matrix/9709/5_linus.html| title=The Pragmatist of Free Software: Linus Torvalds Interview| author=Yamagata, Hiroo| accessdate=2006-08-28}}

*One of the reasons that basic research is advanced most by ''not'' resorting to intellectual property is that while doing so would have questionable benefits, the costs are apparent. [...] Interestingly, even in software, this system of [[open collaboration]] has worked. Today we have the Linux computer operating system, which is also based on the principle of open architecture.
**[[Joseph Stiglitz]], ''Making globalization work'', §4

* I used to [look at the Linux source code], for [[Unix|Plan 9]]. They were always ahead of us—they just had massively more resources to deal with hardware. So when we'd run across a piece of hardware, I'd look at the Linux drivers for it and write Plan 9 drivers for it. Now I have no reason to look at it. I run Linux.
** [[Ken Thompson]]; cited in {{cite book |last=Seibel |first=Peter |title=Coders At Work |year=2009 |page=479}}

* Everything [in [[Unix]]] was small... and my heart sinks for Linux when I see the size of it. [...] The manual page, which really used to be a manual ''page'', is now a small volume, with a thousand options... We used to sit around in the Unix Room saying, 'What can we throw out? Why is there this option?' It's often because there is some deficiency in the basic design&amp;nbsp;— you didn't really hit the right design point. Instead of adding an option, think about what was forcing you to add that option.
** [[Doug McIlroy]] (2005). [https://archive.org/details/DougMcIlroy_AncestryOfLinux_DLSLUG Ancestry of Linux&amp;nbsp;— How the Fun Began]

* I don't know the counts of Unix and Linux servers. I do know that my heart sinks whenever I look under the hood in Linux. It is has been so overfed by loving hands. Over 240 system calls! Gigabytes of source! A C compiler with a 250-page user manual (not counting the language definition)! A simple page turner, 'less,' has over 40 options and 60 commands! It's proof that open-source can breed monsters just like the commercial pros. Miraculously, though, this monster works.
** [[Doug McIlroy]] (2013). [http://www.networkworld.com/article/2168942/servers/in-their-own-words--unix-pioneers-remember-the-good-times.html In their own words: Unix pioneers remember the good times]

* Linux is open source and very secure.
** [[Tim Cook]]. [https://mashable.com/2018/02/09/apple-iphone-iboot-leak-security/ Mashable]

== See also ==
* [[:Category:Linux people]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|Linux}}

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[[File:Marilyn Manson kot Ikarus.jpg|thumb|right|upright|If someone listens to our music, and it makes them creative, that makes me happier than anything.]]
'''[[w:Marilyn Manson|Brian Hugh Warner]]''' (born [[5 January]] [[1969]]), better known as '''Marilyn Manson''', is an [[United States|American]] musician, artist, and lead singer of the band which shares his stage name.

==Quotes==
[[File:Mabsinthe.jpg|thumb|right|upright|When I was growing up, music was the only escape. If you put on a record, its not gonna yell at you about the way you dress, its gonna make you feel better about it.]]
[[File:MM s klobukom IZ.jpg|thumb|right|upright|In music, you feel a connection to the voice and think about the person behind it.]]
[[File:Hopelibrary.JPG|thumb|right|upright|I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that's what no one did.]]
[[File:Columbinememorial.JPG|thumb|right|upright|Is adult entertainment killing our children? Or is killing our children entertaining adults?]]
[[File:Bill Clinton.jpg|thumb|right|upright|[[Bill Clinton|The President]] was shooting bombs overseas. Yet, I'm a bad guy because I sing some rock-and-roll songs? Who's a bigger influence, the President or Marilyn Manson? I'd like to think me, but I'm going to go with the President.]]
[[File:AQMI Flag.svg|thumb|right|upright|If they think that an artist can destroy their faith, then their faith is rather fragile.]]
[[File:MSNBC 2015-2021 logo.svg|thumb|right|upright|Keep everyone afraid and they'll consume.]]
*If people really stopped and realized how much art and creative people move the world versus politics and religion, I mean it’s not even up for debate. An artist at least creates things, puts things into the world. Where as these other people are destroying things, taking things out of the world.
**Interview on ''The Henry Rollins Show''

*I'm fucking sick of people who always try to blame movies, bands, songs, or talk shows for whatever the fuck hits them today – teen suicides, drug overdoses or everything else. If someone is stupid enough to kill himself because of a song, then that's exactly what they deserve – they weren't contributing anything to the society – it's one less idiot in the world. There's too many people – if more people kill themselves over music, it wouldn't disappoint me. What would disappoint me is that people are that stupid.
** As quoted in ''The Phil Donahue Show''

===1990s===

* &amp;hellip; I don't expect everyone to get something deep out of it. Some people can just listen to the music, or get their aggressions out, but I think with any great painting or movie, album or whatever it is, it's better if people can take what they need from it. That they're not forced to get some particular message.
** As quoted in &quot;Headbanger's Ball&quot; (10 December 1996), ''MTV Europe''.

* The whole concept of this band is to present the ugly truth about society &amp;ndash; warts and all, and let the chips fall where they may.
** As quoted in ''Huh'' (October 1996).{{fix cite}}

* If someone listens to our music, and it makes them creative, that makes me happier than anything. But with our music, we try to teach the masses of fans that not everything is as it seems.
** As quoted in ''Huh'' (10 October 1996).{{fix cite}}

* I hope that with our music we can inspire other people to be creative and to use their imagination, because it is something that is so lacking nowadays. You have virtual reality, MTV, video games and VCR's. Nobody really wants to think about things or create things. You have programs on a computer which will write a poem for you.
** As quoted in ''Kerrang!'' (14 December 1996).

* The world doesn't revolve around the sun, it revolves around a giant cock. That is what the world is about. It's about sex. Anybody who doesn't want to realize this is fooling themselves. People are bored because they've done everything they can do. So now the fear of death is the only thing that gets them excited. That's why some people have made me into some type of sex symbol. I'm death on wheels the way I look.
** As quoted in ''Guitar School'' (1996).{{fix cite}}

* Hopefully, I’ll be remembered as the person who brought an end to Christianity.
** As quoted in ''Spin'' (August 1996), p. 34.

* [The world's] not a great place anymore and it can't be. I'm sure it would have been much more enjoyable to be alive in the fifties, when there was at least an illusion of purity, and things that were taboo had such a great power to them. I think it was a time when magic was really alive. There's no imagination anymore. It was eliminated with video games and VCR's. I'm only necessary because of the way the world is. Well, maybe if I manage to make the world a better place then maybe I'd want to have a kid.
** As quoted in ''Guitar World'' (1996).{{fix cite}}

* I'm not anything like Brad Pitt or Antonio Banderas, but maybe it's the taboo element of my image, which is almost deathlike, that attracts them. I should be the last person that [people] should be attracted to.
** As quoted in ''CMJ'' (January 1997).{{fix cite}}

* In explaining things to people, I've come to terms with the fact that a lot of my goals are very Christian in the end. Because people no longer appreciate the taboos of sex, drugs, and rock &amp; roll. I have to take them as far as they've ever been taken before, on a grand scale, in order for the world to realize we have to start over. It's very much like the mythology of the bible, the end of the world, and the antichrist and people are made to make a choice about their faith. I think certain elements of that are correct.
** As quoted in ''CMJ'' (January 1997).{{fix cite}}

* It's really important for me to get across to our fans that whenever I put myself in different circumstances. It is to learn from it so I can relay it to others.
** As quoted in ''Circus'' (January 1997).

* &amp;hellip; if my ideology is a hand, then that's just two fingers. I incorporate a lot of Christian morality into what I do and in fact a lot of my beliefs are very conservative &amp;ndash; like my desire for the world to be a better place where people use more intelligence. If you had to condense all that I believe in, it's that responsible, intelligent people should be allowed to do what they want. That artists and performers and architects, people who contribute something to the world, that actually have something to say as opposed to a business man or a politician, say, people who actually contribute to society, the power should be traded. The creators are always suppressed &amp;ndash; other than the placebo &quot;fame&quot; that they're always given. I don't really suggest any solution &amp;ndash; that we could all kick them out of their positions of power and take over. It's just the idea that if you enjoy what you do, that's why you should do it.
**As quoted in ''NME'' (30 August 1997).

* &amp;hellip; if I hadn't gone to a private Christian school, I'd never have built up enough animosity to want to have started a band. And now that I have one, the fact that they are giving me such resistance and publicity, they have made me far bigger than they'd ever have wanted me to have become. So I guess in a strange way the Christians have influenced me the most.
** As quoted in ''Vox'' (October 1997).{{fix cite}}

*  I think onstage it was more me trying to show people my [[pain]], and offstage it was just feeling it, period.
** On mutilating himself, as quoted in [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/marilyn-manson-rose-mcgowan-twiggy-893441/ ''Rolling Stone''] (15 October 1998).

* Understand this, tell others: in my dream vultures chase me into my burning house. There, they pick out the brains of my family, dismember them, devour. I emerge from my home and I am burning, skin falling away like a snake as the structure crumbles into a black skeleton. I cannot fight off the vultures. A young man or woman emerges from the ashes. He/she doesn't save me, because he/she is holding my cracked and swollen heart in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. I can read it. It discusses and compares in great detail the differences between me and the vultures. He wraps my heart in the paper and tosses it to the ground. Can you see? 
** As quoted in MarilynManson.com (6 February 1999).{{fix cite}}

==== ''The Long Hard Road Out of Hell'' (1998) ====

* If you act like a rock star, you will be treated like one.

* I wanted to address the hypocrisy of talk show America. How morals are worn as a badge, to make you look good and how it is easier to talk about your beliefs than to live up to them.

* The only way that you achieve what you want and to fulfill your dreams and become great is by demanding that sort of attention. You have to make it happen.

* [...] art and commerce are in essence incompatible.

===2000s===
* Is adult entertainment killing our children? Or is killing our children entertaining adults?
** As quoted in MarilynManson.com (2000).{{fix cite}}

* If they think that an artist can destroy their faith, then their faith is rather fragile.
** As quoted in [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4175850.stm BBC News] (23 August 2005)

* To me, anything that is a church is really just far too close minded.
** As quoted in ''Ultimate Guitar'' (2007).{{fix cite}}

==== ''[[Bowling for Columbine]]'' (2002)====
:'''Marilyn Manson''': The two by-products of that whole tragedy were violence in entertainment and gun control. And how perfect that that was the two things that we were going to talk about with the upcoming election. And also, then we forgot about Monica Lewinsky and we forgot about the President was shooting bombs overseas &amp;ndash; yet I'm a bad guy because I sing some rock-and-roll songs &amp;ndash; and who's a bigger influence, [[Bill Clinton|the President]] or Marilyn Manson? I'd like to think me, but I'm going to go with the President.
:'''Michael Moore''': Do you know that on the day of the Columbine massacre, the U.S. dropped more bombs on [[Kosovo]] than any other day?
:'''Marilyn Manson''': I do know that, and I think that's really ironic, that nobody said, &quot;Well, maybe the President had an influence on this violent behavior.&quot; Because that's not the way the media wants to take it and spin it, and turn it into fear, because then you're watching television, you're watching the news, you're being pumped full of fear, there's floods, there's AIDS, there's murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath, they're not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl's not going to fuck you, and it's just this campaign of fear and consumption, and that's what I think it's all based on, the whole idea of 'keep everyone afraid and they'll consume.'

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marilyn Manson''': When I was growing up, music was the only escape. If you put on a record, its not gonna yell at you about the way you dress, its gonna make you feel better about it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Michael Moore]]''': If you were to talk directly to the kids at Columbine or the people in that community, what would you say to them if they were here right now?
:'''Marilyn Manson''': I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that's what no one did.

====''The High End of Low'' (2009)====
*We don't believe in credibility, because we know that we're fucking incredible.
**&quot;[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/marilynmanson/werefromamerica.html We're From America]&quot;.

*We don't like to kill our unborn, we need them to grow up and fight our wars.
**&quot;[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/marilynmanson/werefromamerica.html We're From America]&quot;.

===2010s===
*Art gives me the freedom I don’t have when I make music. In music, you feel a connection to the voice and think about the person behind it. In art that's secondary.
** Regarding his latest art exhibition, as quoted in [http://www.theage.com.au/ ''The Age''] (30 June 2010).{{fix cite}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed == 
* Suicide is painless.
** Though covered by Manson, this is actually a lyric to [[w:Suicide Is Painless|&quot;Suicide Is Painless&quot;]] written by [[w:Mike Altman|Mike Altman]] for the movie ''[[w:MASH (film)|M*A*S*H]]'' (1970); the music (written by [[w:Johnny Mandel|Johnny Mandel]]) later provided the theme music for the ''[[w:M*A*S*H (TV series)|M*A*S*H]]'' TV series.

* The death of one is a tragedy, but death of a million is just a statistic.
** Being from Manson's Fight Song of Holy Wood, this is actually a quote misattributed to [[George Orwell]], in his book,''[[Animal Farm]].” It is a paraphrase, from [[Josef Stalin]], in his response to the mass purges during the 1930s, that he ordered. He said, “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

{{Misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Manson==
*[A] dude's getting bullied and shoots up his school, and they blame it on Marilyn and the heroin; where were the parents at?
**[[Eminem|Marshall B. Mathers]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/thewayiam.html &quot;The Way I Am&quot;] (2000), ''The Marshall Mathers LP''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Manson, Marilyn}}
[[Category:Rock singers]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Shock rock]]
[[Category:Industrial metal]]
[[Category:Alternative metal]]
[[Category:Blues rock]]
[[Category:Guitarists from the United States]]
[[Category:Painters from the United States]]
[[Category:Actors from the United States]]
[[Category:Autobiographers from the United States]]
[[Category:Journalists from the United States]]
[[Category:Critics of religion]]
[[Category:Media critics]]
[[Category:People from Canton]]
[[Category:1969 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

*http://www.marilynmanson.com/
*http://www.mansonwiki.com/</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Looney Tunes: Back in Action</title>
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'''''[[w:Looney Tunes: Back In Action|Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]''''' is a 2003 feature-length ''[[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]]'' adventure combining live action and animation about a hapless stuntman, aided (and confounded) by his animated Hollywood friends [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] and [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]] and a studio executive, who stumble across a plot to possess a mysterious blue diamond in the course of rescuing his famous actor father.
:''Directed by [[w:Joe Dante|Joe Dante]]. Written by [[w:Larry Doyle (producer)|Larry Doyle]].'' 
{{center|'''Real life has never been so animated.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== Dialogue ==
:''[Scooby-Doo and Shaggy chat with Matthew Lillard in the cafeteria]''
:'''Shaggy''': What kind of performance do you call that? You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
:'''[[w:Matthew Lillard|Lillard]]''': I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be real to your character.
:'''Shaggy''': If you, like, goof on me in [[Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed|the sequel]], I'm comin' after ya!
:'''Scooby''': Yeah! And I'll give you a Scooby Snarl! ''[growls viciously at Lillard]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[D.J., Kate, Bugs, and Daffy approach a dead end]''
:'''Bugs''': Eh, just a suggestion, but all those in favor of not hittin' that wall, say &quot;aye&quot;.
:'''D.J. and Kate''': AYE!!!
:'''Daffy''': Mother!
:'''Spy car computer''': Taking you to [[w: Whistler's Mother|Mother]]!
:''[the car takes to the sky before it can hit the wall]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''D.J.''': There's a man there! He's got a woman! She's tied up in a burlap sack and he's taking her to the [[w:Eiffel Tower|Eiffel Tower]]!
:'''[[w:Pepe Le Pew|Pepe]]''': Ah, eet eez Spring, eez eet not?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[D.J. and Daffy Duck drive to Las Vegas.]''
:'''D.J.''': I'm not a security guard! For your information, it's just a job. It's what I do for money.
:'''Daffy''': Um-hmm.
:'''D.J.''': What I really do is... I'm... I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
:'''Daffy''': Hah! You, a stuntman? Please!
:'''D.J.''': I am! Did you see those ''Mummy'' movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is.
:''[Daffy rolls his eyes, complete with cartoon sound effect]''
:'''D.J.''': Oh, no, you couldn't stand that! One day, he decides to say, &quot;No-no-no! The Bren-Master does all his own stunts&quot;!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[We get our first view of the ACME boardroom and its members.]''
:'''Chairman''': This is unacceptable! We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making ACME sneakers - not when three-year-olds work for so much less!
:''[The VPs jump for their buzzers. VP Child Labor hits his first. The Chairman points to him.]''
:'''Chairman''': Yes?
:'''VP Child Labor''': But, sir. They require naps.
:'''Chairman''': Put double espresso in their sippy cups!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the Wooden Nickel, diva Dusty Tails changes while she talks about her career.]''
:'''Dusty''': I also work for the Agency. Professional assassin. It's really hard for me to juggle the two sometimes. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I have kids!
:''[She comes out wearing a shiny black-leather catsuit.]''
:'''Dusty''': Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny with advanced weapons training?
:'''Daffy''': ''[gives a wolf-whistle]'' How many galoshes died to make ''that'' little number?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[D.J. tries to take the Mona Lisa Queen of Diamonds playing card from Dusty, who instead slips it inside her outfit]''
:'''Dusty''': That is so sweet! You, trying to take over for your father. These evil forces, they're bad people!
:'''Daffy''': Relax, sister! I don't know the meaning of the word &quot;fear&quot;!
:''[Daffy opens the door and finds himself facing a lit cannon.]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Say your prayers, Duck!
:'''Daffy''': &quot;Fear: Noun. A state of terror&quot;!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Yosemite Sam chases D.J. and Daffy through the Wooden Nickel casino, guns a-blazin'…]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Come back here, ya card-carryin' cuy-ote!
:''[… and slips on a banana peel.]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Yikes! Ooooh! Dad-burned slapstick cliché!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Foghorn Leghorn''': ''(to D.J.)'' Card, sir?
:'''D.J.''': Hit me.
:'''Foghorn Leghorn''': Don't-- I say, don't 'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's 'bout as sharp as a bowlin' ball.

&lt;hr width-&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Daffy and D.J. finally escape the Wooden Nickel]''
:'''Daffy''': I say we do Cirque de Soleil and call it a night.
:''[D.J. makes a mad dash for his car]''
:'''Daffy''': How 'bout the Liberace Museum?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kate and Bugs drive through the streets of Las Vegas, looking for Daffy.]''
:'''Kate''': There's gotta be 314 hotels and 142 casinos in Las Vegas! We are ''never'' gonna find that duck.
:''[Suddenly, Daffy runs into the street and is promptly plastered onto the windshield. Kate gasps.]''
:'''Bugs''': Hee-hee. Daff never misses a cue.
:''[D.J. arrives, peels off Daffy, and tosses him into the back seat, upside down, next to Bugs.]''
:'''Bugs''': Eh, what's up, Duck?
:'''Daffy''': Don't you start with me.
:''[D.J. notices Kate in the driver's seat of the car]''
:'''D.J.''': You!
:'''Kate''': You!
:'''Daffy''': ''[to Bugs]'' You!
:'''Bugs''': Him?
:'''Daffy''': Her!
:'''Bugs and Daffy''': Them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Driving alongside the good guys, Nasty Canasta lights a stick of dynamite to throw into their car.]''
:'''Kate''': Dynamite?! Who has dynamite?!
:'''Daffy''': ''[scoffs]'' Welcome to ''my'' world.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The good guys take off, leaving the bad guys with the lit dynamite.]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Throw it out the window! Throw it out! THROW IT OUT!
:'''Canasta''': But innocent people could be hurt.
:'''Yosemite Sam''': THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!
:'''Smith''': It'll send the wrong message to children!
:'''Yosemite Sam''': GIMME THE--!
:''[dynamite explodes]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Ooh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[just before the heroes' flying car crashes, it stops a few feet above the desert ground]''
:'''Bugs''': Ha! Outta gas.
:''[fade to black]''
:'''Kate''': What?! It doesn't work like that!
:''[Cut back to car, which smashes into the ground; fade to black again]''
:'''Bugs''': Thanks, Toots.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[In the desert, D.J. spots a Wal-Mart store, rippling in the heat]''
:'''D.J.''': Hey, look at that!
:'''Bugs''': Is it a mirage, or just product placement?
:'''Daffy''': Who cares? With shopping convenience at such low prices!
:''[Daffy runs toward the image.]''
:'''Daffy''': Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your product name here! Woo-hoo-hoo!
:'''DJ''': ''[to Kate]'' Is this your idea?
:''[She opens her mouth to object, then gets defensive.]''
:'''Kate''': The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
:''[D.J. shares his disappointed look with the audience; later, the intrepid adventurers depart the desert Wal-Mart with beverages]''
:'''Bugs''': Nice of Wal-Mart to provide these Wal-Mart beverages in retoin for us saying &quot;Wal-Mart&quot; so many times.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Wile E. Coyote observes the heroes trudging through the desert.]''
:'''Bugs''': I told ya we shoulda made that left toin at Albuqwirky.
:'''Daffy''': Don't start that again!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Inside the Area 52 lab, chief spy-scientist Mother talks to the DJ et al.]''
:'''Mother''': This isn't about the [[w:Them!|giant ants]], is it?
:'''Kate''': Giant... ants?
:'''Mother''': 'Cause they're not really ants... anymore.
:''[Mother drinks from a flask of blue liquid.]''
:'''D.J.''': Tell me about the Blue Monkey.
:''[She spews her beverage on D.J.]''
:'''Mother''': How do you know about that thing that I've never heard of in my entire life?
:'''D.J.''': My dad told me.
:'''Mother''': What is the ''point'' of making them pinky-swear?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the Louvre, as Daffy grabs the playing-card lens, Elmer Fudd jams his shotgun into the back of Daffy's head.]''
:'''Elmer''': ''I'll'' take that!
:'''Bugs''': Em, what gives, Doc? We made thoity-five pictures together.
:'''Elmer''': Well, as it tuwns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
:'''Daffy''': ''[snorts]'' That's showbiz for ya!
:'''Elmer''': Now, make with the card, so I can ''pwease'' my dark masters!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bugs and Daffy enter the [[w:The Persistence of Memory|Persistence of Memory]] painting to evade Elmer Fudd. Elmer follows, enters, and takes aim, until his gun melts, remaining true to the theme of the painting. Bugs and Daffy laugh at him and run off, but they too start melting; their voices are slow and toned to a low key]''
:'''Daffy''': Well, this is [[w:Surrealism|surreal]].
:'''Elmer''': ''[Producing icons that represent each word he says]'' Stop, or I'll fire! ''[Attempts to take aim again]''
:'''Bugs and Daffy''': Yipe!
:''[Elmer fires, but the bullets are only propelled a few inches away. Elmer starts to melt completely out of shape. Bugs and Daffy make their way to the next painting through the wallpaper]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Elmer Fudd leaps out of ''La Grande Jatte'' (by pointillist Georges Seurat), Bugs reads to him from a museum guide.]''
:'''Bugs''': [[w:Pointillism|Pointillism]]. A technique using individual dots of pigment, which, taken together... [whips out a pocket electric fan] ...make an image. ''[turns on the fan.]''
:'''Elmer''': Aw, crud! [Elmer's dots start to disperse, until only his shoes are left.]
:'''Bugs''' (to audience): I think, when you go to the movies, you should learn somethin'.
:''[Daffy is busy redrawing himself.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As Granny's elephant progresses through the jungle, a flock of multicolored Tweety birds fly around]''
:'''Tweety''': I've discovered my woots!
:'''Sylvester''': I've discovered my lunch!
:''[The birds attack Sylvester. Cut to Tweety, in African garb]''
:'''Tweety''': Cry freedom!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[From behind, we see the elephant come upon a picturesque lost city in the jungle.]''
:'''Daffy''': What a fantastic view!
:'''Bugs''': Unless you're in the audience, in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for thoity seconds.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On a small, monkey-sized puzzle piece]''
:'''Daffy''': ''This'' is the Blue Monkey? This dime-store bauble?! 
:''[Daffy lifts the figure off its alter, triggering a mechanism and causing the alter to slide down into the floor]''
:'''Daffy''': ''[ignoring this, angrily]'' I've been rooked!
:'''D.J.''': That shouldn't happen.
:'''Daffy''': Shafted by the gods! 
:'''D.J.''': Nice going, Daffy.
:'''Daffy''': I demand recompense! I want my diamond! WHERE IS MY HUMONGOUS ''ROCK?!''
:''[A boulder falls and flattens him]''
:'''Bugs''': Ha! [[w:pressed duck|Pressed duck.]]

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Outside the ACME satellite, Marvin the Martian (who Bugs and Daffy previously almost got rid of) holds an ACME Bubble Gun on Bugs.]''
:'''Marvin''': You tricked me!
:'''Bugs''': Eh, what's up, Darth?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''ACME Chairman''': ''[to a miserable Wile E. Coyote]'' My God, young man, what am I going to do with you?! You've done nothing but screw up! You've walked off of mesas! You've been smashed by boulders! You've been run over by diesel trucks! And don't blame the equipment! The equipment is good; it's ACME equipment. You're a coyote! Be wily! ''[calms down]'' All right, now...buck up and let's see a little smile.
:''[Wile E. smiles, briefly and unenthusiastically]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': Little bigger.
:''[Wile E. gives a bigger one, this time holding it]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': Little bigger.
:''[Wile E.'s smile spreads to a disproportionate size]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': Oh, that's nice. Now, just go take a shower, and don't come back till you smell better!
:''[Wile E., now cheered up, heads upstairs]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': ''[calling to him]'' But be careful! There's some men moving a safe up there, and I don't want you to--
:''[A cartoonish jet-engine, followed by a &quot;crash&quot; sound, is heard]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': ''[pause]'' And be careful of the box of fireworks, because--
:''[Released fireworks are heard]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': ''[pause]'' I suppose I ''should'' mention the plate-glass window--
:''[Shattering glass is heard]''
:'''ACME Chairman''': ''[pause]'' It's tough being the boss.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[while Bugs fights Marvin outside a spaceship, Daffy cowers inside, sucking his thumb]''
:'''Daffy''': What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do? ''[pause]'' Wait a minute, I ''am'' Duck Dodgers!
:''[he spins and changes into his Duck Dodgers outfit.]''
:'''Daffy''': A-ha! I'm going to be the hero of this picture! ''[straps on a rocket]'' Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
:''[the rocket explodes; Daffy straps on a second rocket]''
:'''Daffy''': ''[dazed]'' Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
:''[another explosion; Daffy straps on a third]''
:'''Daffy''': ''[dazed]'' Duck Dodgers--
:''[yet another explosion; Daffy angrily glares at a fourth rocket]''
:'''Daffy''': Duck!
:''[yet another explosion; cut to Daffy, now outside with working rocket strapped on]''
:'''Daffy''': It's You-Know-Who to the rescue! ''[to the camera]'' It helps if ya don't say the name.

== Taglines ==
* Real life has never been so animated.
* How do they solve a mystery when they don't have a clue?
* The biggest animated adventure ever to hit real life.

== Cast ==
=== Live-Action Characters ===
* '''[[Brendan Fraser]]''' — Damien Drake Jr. (D.J.), [[Brendan Fraser|Himself]]
* '''[[w:Jenna Elfman|Jenna Elfman]]''' — Kate Houghton
* '''[[Timothy Dalton]]''' — Damien Drake Sr.
* '''[[w:Joan Cusack|Joan Cusack]]''' — Mother the Scientist
* '''[[w:Bill Goldberg|Bill Goldberg]]''' — Bob Smith
* '''[[w:Heather Locklear|Heather Locklear]]''' — Dusty Tails
* '''[[Steve Martin]]''' — Mr. Chairman

=== Character Voices ===
* '''[[w:Joe Alaskey|Joe Alaskey]]''' — [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]], [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]], [[w:Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester]], [[w:Beaky Buzzard|Beaky Buzzard]], [[w:The Three Bears (Looney Tunes)|Mama Bear]]
* '''[[w:Jeff Bennett|Jeff Glen Bennett]]''' — [[w:Foghorn Leghorn|Foghorn Leghorn]], [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]], [[w:Nasty Canasta|Nasty Canasta]]
* '''[[w:Billy West|Billy West]]''' — [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]], [[Peter Lorre|Dr. Lorre]]
* '''[[w:Eric Goldberg (animator)|Eric Goldberg]]''' — [[w:Tweety|Tweety Bird]], [[w:Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales]], [[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]
* '''[[w:Bruce Lanoil|Bruce Lanoil]]''' — [[w:Pepé Le Pew|Pepé le Pew]]
* '''[[w:June Foray|June Foray]]''' — [[w:Granny (Looney Tunes)|Granny]]
* '''[[w:Bob Bergen|Bob Bergen]]''' — [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]]
* '''[[Brendan Fraser]]''' — [[w:Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)|Tasmanian Devil]], Tasmanian She-Devil
* '''[[w:Casey Kasem|Casey Kasem]]''' — [[w:Shaggy Rogers|Shaggy]]
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Scooby-Doo (character)|Scooby-Doo]]
* '''Danny Chambers''' — Cottontail Smith
* '''[[w:Stan Freberg|Stan Freberg]]''' — Junior Bear
* '''[[w:Will Ryan|Will Ryan]]''' — Papa Bear
* '''Danny Mann''' — Robo Dog, Spy Car
* '''[[w:Mel Blanc|Mel Blanc]]''' — [[w:AMC Gremlin|Gremlin Car]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=0318155 | title=Looney Tunes: Back in Action}}

[[Category:2003 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated mystery films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Looney Tunes films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Joe Dante]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Twilight Zone (1959 TV series)</title>
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[[File:The Twilight Zone logo.svg|thumb|You are traveling through another [[dimension]], a dimension not only of [[sight]] and [[sound]] but of [[mind]]. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of [[imagination]]. Your next stop, the ''Twilight Zone!'']]
'''''[[w:The Twilight Zone (1959 TV series)|The Twilight Zone]]''''' ([[1959]]–[[1965]]) is an American television series created by [[Rod Serling]]. The original series ran for five seasons on CBS from 1959 to 1964 and remains in syndication to this day. As an anthology series, each episode presents its own separate story, often a morality play, involving people who face unusual or extraordinary circumstances, therefore entering a dimension called &quot;Twilight Zone&quot;.

== Opening narrations ==
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|There is a fifth [[dimension]] beyond that which is [[known]] to man. It is a dimension as vast as [[space]] and as timeless as [[infinity]]. It is the middle ground between [[light]] and [[shadow]], between [[science]] and [[superstition]], and it lies between the pit of man's [[fears]] and the summit of his [[knowledge]]. This is the dimension of [[imagination]]. It is an area which we call the ''Twilight Zone.'' ~ [[Rod Serling]] ]]
'''Season 1 (main)'''

''There is a fifth [[dimension]] beyond that which is [[known]] to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as [[infinity]]. It is the middle ground between [[light]] and [[shadow]], between [[science]] and [[superstition]], and it lies between the pit of man's [[fears]] and the summit of his [[knowledge]]. This is the dimension of [[imagination]]. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.''

'''Season 1 (last four episodes)'''

''You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!''

'''Season 2 (first three episodes)'''

''You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!''

'''Season 2 (main)'''

''You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the Twilight Zone!''

'''Season 3'''

''You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!''

'''Seasons 4 &amp; 5'''

''You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension—a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.''

== Season 1 ==
=== ''[[w:Where Is Everybody?|Where Is Everybody?]]'' [1.1] ===
[[File:Earl Holliman Twilight Zone 1959.jpg|thumb|[[w:Earl Holliman|Earl Holliman]] in the premiere episode, &quot;Where Is Everybody?&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': The place is here, the time is now, and the journey into the shadows that we're about to watch could be our journey.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Up there, up there in the vastness of space, in the void that is sky, up there is an enemy known as isolation. It sits there in the stars waiting, waiting with the patience of eons, forever waiting... in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:One for the Angels|One for the Angels]]'' [1.2] ===
[[File:Ed Wynn Twilight Zone 1959.jpg|thumb|[[w:Ed Wynn|Ed Wynn]] in the episode &quot;One For the Angels&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Street scene. Summer. The present. Man on a sidewalk named Lew Bookman, age sixtyish. Occupation: pitchman. Lew Bookman, a fixture of the summer. A rather minor component to a hot July. A nondescript, commonplace little man whose life is a treadmill built out of sidewalks. In just a moment Lew Bookman will have to concern himself with survival. Because as of three-o-clock this hot July afternoon, he'll be stalked by...Mr. Death.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Lewis J. Bookman, age sixtyish. Occupation: pitchman. Formerly a fixture of the summer. Formerly a rather minor component to a hot July. But throughout his life, a man beloved by the children...and therefore a most important man. Couldn't happen you say? Probably not in most places, but it did happen...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Mr. Denton on Doomsday|Mr. Denton on Doomsday]]'' [1.3] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a town drunk named Al Denton. This is a man who's begun his dying early - a long, agonizing route through a maze of bottles. Al Denton, who would probably give an arm or a leg or a part of his soul to have another chance, to be able to rise up and shake the dirt from his body and the bad dreams that infest his consciousness. In the parlance of the times, this is a peddler, a rather fanciful-looking little man in a black frock coat. And this is the third principal character of our story. Its function: perhaps to give Mr. Al Denton his second chance.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Henry Fate, dealer in utensils and pots and pans, liniments and potions. A fanciful little man in a black frock coat who can help a man climbing out of a pit - or another man from falling into one. Because, you see, fate can work that way in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine|The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine]]'' [1.4] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of a woman looking at a picture. Movie great of another time, once-brilliant star in a firmament no longer a part of the sky, eclipsed by the movement of earth and time. Barbara Jean Trenton, whose world is a projection room, whose dreams are made out of celluloid. Barbara Jean Trenton, struck down by hit-and-run years and lying on the unhappy pavement, trying desperately to get the license number of fleeting fame.

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:'''Danny Weiss''': To wishes, Barbie. To the ones that come true.
:'''Rod Serling''': To the wishes that come true, to the strange, mystic strength of the human animal, who can take a wishful dream and give it a dimension of its own. To Barbara Jean Trenton, movie queen of another era, who has changed the blank tomb of an empty projection screen into a private world. It can happen in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Walking Distance|Walking Distance]]'' [1.5] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': Martin Sloane, age thirty-six. Occupation: vice president, ad agency, in charge of media. This is not just a Sunday drive for Martin Sloane. He perhaps doesn't know it at the time, but it's an exodus. Somewhere up the road, he's looking for sanity. And somewhere up the road, he'll find something else.

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:'''Rod Serling''': A man can think a lot of thoughts and walk a lot of pavements between afternoon and night. And to a man like Martin Sloane, 'til memory has suddenly become reality, a resolve can come just as clearly and inexorably as stars in the summer night. Martin Sloane is now back in time... and his resolve is to put in a claim... to the past.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Martin Sloan, age thirty-six, vice-president in charge of media. Successful in most things but not in the one effort that all men try at some time in their lives - trying to go home again. And also like all men, perhaps there'll be an occasion, maybe a summer night sometime, when he'll look up from what he's doing and listen to the distant music of a calliope...and hear the voices and the laughter of the people and the places of his past. And perhaps across his mind, there'll flit a little errant wish, that a man might not have to become old, never outgrow the parks and the merry-go-rounds of his youth. And he'll smile then too because he'll know it is just an errant wish. Some wisp of memory not too important really. Some laughing ghosts that cross a man's mind...that are a part...of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Escape Clause|Escape Clause]]'' [1.6] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're about to meet a hypochondriac. Witness Mr. Walter Bedeker, age forty-four, afraid of the following: death, disease, other people, germs, draft, and everything else. He has one interest in life, and that's Walter Bedeker. One preoccupation: the life and well-being of Walter Bedeker. One abiding concern about society: that if Walter Bedeker should die, how will it survive without him?

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:'''Rod Serling''': There's a saying. &quot;Every man is put on Earth condemned to die, time and method of execution unknown.&quot; Perhaps this is as it should be. Case in point: Walter Bedeker, lately deceased, a little man with such a yen to live. Beaten by the Devil, by his own boredom, and by the scheme of things in this, the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Lonely (The Twilight Zone)|The Lonely]]'' [1.7] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Witness if you will a dungeon, made out of mountains, salt flats and sand that stretch to infinity. The dungeon has an inmate: James A. Corry. And this is his residence: a metal shack. An old touring car that squats in the sun and goes nowhere - for there is nowhere to go. For the record let it be known that James A. Corry is a convicted criminal placed in solitary confinement. Confinement in this case stretches as far as the eye can see, because this particular dungeon is on an asteroid nine million miles from the Earth. Now witness if you will a man's mind and body shrivelling in the sun, a man dying of loneliness.

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:'''Rod Serling''': On a microscopic piece of sand that floats through space is a fragment of a man's life. Left to rust is the place he lived in and the machines he used. Without use, they will disintegrate from the wind and the sand and the years that act upon them; all of Mr. Corry's machines - including the one made in his image, kept alive by love, but now obsolete in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:Time Enough at Last|Time Enough at Last]]'' [1.8] ===
[[File:Burgess Meredith Twilight Zone 1960.jpg|thumb|[[w:Burgess Meredith|Burgess Meredith]] from the episode &quot;Time Enough at Last&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Witness Mr. Henry Bemis, a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers. A bookish little man whose passion is the printed page, but who is conspired against by a bank president and a wife and a world full of tongue-cluckers and the unrelenting hands of a clock. But in just a moment, Mr. Bemis will enter a world without bank presidents or wives or clocks or anything else. He'll have a world all to himself...without anyone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Seconds, minutes, hours. They crawl by on hands and knees for Mr. Henry Bemis, who looks for a spark in the ashes of a dead world. A telephone connected to nothingness. A neighborhood bar, a movie, a baseball diamond, a hardware store, the mailbox of what was his house and is now a rubble. They lie at his feet as battered monuments to what was, but is no more.
:'''Henry Bemis''': Helen? Helen! Where are you?
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Henry Bemis on an eight-hour tour of a graveyard.

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:'''Henry Bemis''': ''[laments the destruction of his glasses]'' That's not fair! That's not fair at all! There was time now. There was all the time I needed...! ''[tears up]'' That's not fair! That's not fair!

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:'''Rod Serling''': The best laid plans of mice and men...and Henry Bemis...the small man in the glasses who wanted nothing but time. Henry Bemis, now just a part of a smashed landscape, just a piece of the rubble, just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself. Mr. Henry Bemis...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Perchance to Dream (The Twilight Zone)|Perchance to Dream]]'' [1.9] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Twelve o'clock noon. An ordinary scene, an ordinary city. Lunchtime for thousands of ordinary people. To most of them, this hour will be a rest, a pleasant break in the day's routine. To most, but not all. To Edward Hall, time is an enemy, and the hour to come is a matter of life and death.

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:'''Rod Serling''': They say a dream takes only a second or so, and yet in that second a man can live a lifetime. He can suffer and die, and who's to say which is the greater reality: the one we know or the one in dreams, between heaven, the sky, the earth in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Judgment Night (The Twilight Zone)|Judgment Night]]'' [1.10] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Her name is the S.S. Queen of Glasgow. Her registry: British. Gross tonnage: five thousand. Age: indeterminate. At this moment she's one day out of Liverpool, her destination New York. Duly recorded on this ship's log is the sailing time, course to destination, weather conditions, temperature, longitude and latitude. But what is never recorded in a log is the fear that washes over a deck like fog and ocean spray. Fear like the throbbing strokes of engine pistons, each like a heartbeat, parceling out every hour into breathless minutes of watching, waiting and dreading. For the year is 1942, and this particular ship has lost its convoy. It travels alone like an aged blind thing groping through the unfriendly dark, stalked by unseen periscopes of steel killers. Yes, the Queen of Glasgow is a frightened ship, and she carries with her a premonition of death.

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:'''Rod Serling''': The S.S. Queen of Glasgow heading for New York and the time is 1942. For one man, it is always 1942.
:'''Carl Lanser''': Light in the salon! Let's black out down there! 
:'''Rod Serling''': And this man will ride the ghost of that ship every night for eternity. This is what is meant by 'paying the fiddler'. This is the comeuppance awaiting every man when the ledger of his life is opened and examined, the tally made and then the reward or the penalty paid. And in the case of Karl Lanser, former Kapitan Lieutenant, Navy of the Third Reich, this is the penalty. This is the justice meted out. This is judgment night in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:And When the Sky Was Opened|And When the Sky Was Opened]]'' [1.11] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Her name: X-20. Her type: an experimental interceptor. Recent history: a crash landing in the Mojave Desert after a thirty-one hour flight nine hundred miles into space. Incidental data: the ship, with the men who flew her, disappeared from the radar screen for twenty-four hours. ''[dialogue]'' But the shrouds that cover mysteries are not always made out of a tarpaulin, as this man will soon find out on the other side of a hospital door.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Once upon a time, there was a man named Harrington, a man named Forbes, a man named Gart. They used to exist, but don't any longer. Someone or something took them somewhere. At least they are no longer a part of the memory of man. And as to the X-20 supposed to be housed here in this hangar, this too does not exist. And if any of you have any questions concerning an aircraft and three men who flew her, speak softly of them, and only in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:What You Need (The Twilight Zone)|What You Need]]'' [1.12] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're looking at Mr. Fred Renard, who carries on his shoulder a chip the size of the national debt. This is a sour man. A friendless man. A lonely man. A grasping, compulsive, nervous man. This is a man who has lived thirty-six undistinguished, meaningless, pointless, failure-laden years...and, who at this moment, looks for an escape. Any escape. Anyway, anything, anybody to get out of the rut. And this little old man...is just what Mr. Renard is waiting for.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Street scene. Night. Traffic accident. Victim named Fred Renard, gentleman with a sour face, to whom contentment came with difficulty. Fred Renard, who took all that was needed...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Four of Us Are Dying|The Four of Us Are Dying]]'' [1.13] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': His name is Arch Hammer. He's thirty-six years old. He's been a salesman, a dispatcher, a truck driver, a con man, a bookie, and a part-time bartender. This is a cheap man, a nickel and dime man, with a cheapness that goes past the suit and the shirt; a cheapness of mind, a cheapness of taste, a tawdry little shine on the seat of his conscience, and a dark-room squint at a world whose sunlight has never gotten through to him. But Mr. Hammer has a talent, discovered at a very early age. This much he does have. He can make his face change. He can twitch a muscle, move a jaw, concentrate on the cast of his eyes, and he can change his face. He can change it into anything he wants. ''[pause]'' Mr. Archie Hammer, jack of all trades, has just checked in at three-eighty a night, with two bags, some newspaper clippings, a most odd talent, and a master plan to destroy some lives.

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:'''Rod Serling''': He was Arch Hammer, a cheap little man who just checked in. He was Johnny Foster, who played a trumpet and was loved beyond words. He was Virgil Sterig, with money in his pocket. He was Andy Marshak, who got some of his agony back on a sidewalk in front of a cheap hotel. Hammer, Foster, Sterig, Marshak - and all four of them were dying.

=== ''[[w:Third From the Sun|Third From the Sun]]'' [1.14] ===
[[File:Twilight Zone Third From the Sun 1960.jpg|thumb|[[w:Joe Maross|Joe Maross]] in the episode &quot;Third From the Sun&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Quitting time at the plant. Time for supper now. Time for families. Time for a cool drink on a porch. Time for the quiet rustle of leaf-laden trees that screen out the moon. And underneath it all, behind the eyes of the men, hanging invisible over the summer night, is a horror without words. For this is the stillness before storm. This is the eve of the end.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Behind a tiny ship heading into space is a doomed planet on the verge of suicide. Ahead lies a place called Earth, the third planet from the sun. And for William Sturka and the men and women with him, it's the eve of the beginning in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:I Shot an Arrow into the Air|I Shot an Arrow into the Air]]'' [1.15] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': Her name is the Arrow One. She represents four-and-a-half years of planning, preparation and training, and a thousand years of science and mathematics and the projected dreams and hopes of not only a nation, but a world. She is the first manned aircraft into space. And this is the countdown - the last five seconds before man shot an arrow into the air.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Now you make tracks, Mr. Correy. You move out and up like some kind of ghostly Billy club was tapping at your ankle and telling you that it was later than you think. You scrabble up rock hills and feel hot sand underneath your feet and, every now and then, take a look over your shoulder at a giant sun suspended in a dead and motionless sky like an unblinking eye that probes at the back of your head in a prolonged accusation. ''[pause]'' Mr. Correy, last remaining member of a doomed crew, keep moving. Make tracks Mr. Correy. Push up and push out, because if you stop... if you stop, maybe sanity will get you by the throat. Maybe realization will pry open your mind and the horror that you left down in the sand will seep in. Yeah, Mr. Correy, yeah, you better keep moving. That's the order of the moment: keep moving.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Practical joke perpetrated by Mother Nature and a combination of improbable events. Practical joke wearing the trappings of nightmare, of terror, of desperation. Small human drama played out in a desert 97 miles from Reno, Nevada, U.S.A., continent of North America, the Earth and of course...the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Hitch-Hiker (The Twilight Zone)|The Hitch-Hiker]]'' [1.16] ===
[[File:Inger Stevens Twilight Zone 1960.jpg|thumb|[[w:Inger Stevens|Inger Stevens]] and [[w:Leonerd Strong (actor)|Leonard Strong]] in the episode &quot;The Hitch Hiker&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Her name is Nan Adams. She's twenty-seven years old. Her occupation: buyer at a New York department store. At present: on vacation, driving cross-country to Los Angeles, California from Manhattan. ''[dialogue]'' Minor incident on Highway 11 in Pennsylvania, perhaps to be filed away under 'accidents you walk away from.' But from this moment on, Nan Adams' companion on her trip to California will be terror. Her route - fear. Her destination - quite unknown.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Nan Adams, age twenty-seven. She was driving to California, to Los Angeles. She didn't make it. There was a detour through the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Fever (The Twilight Zone)|The Fever]]'' [1.17] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. and Mrs. Franklin Gibbs, three days and two nights, all expenses paid, at a Las Vegas hotel, won by virtue of Mrs. Gibbs's knack with a phrase. But unbeknownst to either Mr. or Mrs. Gibbs is the fact that there's a prize in their package neither expected nor bargained for. In just a moment one of them will succumb to an illness worse than any virus can produce, a most inoperative, deadly, life-shattering affliction known as the fever.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Franklin Gibbs, visitor to Las Vegas, who lost his money, his reason, and finally his life to an inanimate metal machine variously described as a one-armed bandit, a slot machine or, in Mr. Franklin Gibbs's words, a monster with a will all its own. For our purposes we'll stick with the latter definition because we're in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Last Flight (The Twilight Zone)|The Last Flight]]'' [1.18] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Witness Flight Lieutenant William Terrance Decker, Royal Flying Corps, returning from a patrol somewhere over France. The year is 1917. The problem is that the Lieutenant is hopelessly lost. Lieutenant Decker will soon discover that a man can be lost not only in terms of maps and miles, but also in time, and time in this case can be measured in eternities.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Dialogue from a play, Hamlet to Horatio: &quot;There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.&quot; Dialogue from a play written long before men took to the sky. There are more things in heaven and Earth, and in the sky, that perhaps can be dreamt of. And somewhere in between heaven, the sky, the Earth, lies the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Purple Testament|The Purple Testament]]'' [1.19] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Infantry platoon, U.S. Army, Philippine Islands, 1945. These are the faces of the young men who fight. As if some omniscient painter had mixed a tube of oils that were at one time earth brown, dust gray, blood red, beard black, and fear - yellow white, and these men were the models. For this is the province of combat and these are the faces of war.

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:'''Rod Serling''': From William Shakespeare, Richard the Third, a small excerpt. The line reads, 'He has come to open the purple testament of bleeding war.' And for Lieutenant William Fitzgerald, A Company, First Platoon, the testament is closed. Lieutenant Fitzgerald has found the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Elegy (The Twilight Zone)|Elegy]]'' [1.20] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The time is the day after tomorrow. The place: a far corner of the universe. The cast of characters: three men lost amongst the stars, three men sharing the common urgency of all men lost - they're looking for home. And in a moment they'll find home, not a home that is a place to be seen but a strange, unexplainable experience to be felt.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Kirby, Webber, and Meyers, three men lost. They shared a common wish, a simple one, really - they wanted to be aboard their ship, headed for home. And fate, a laughing fate, a practical jokester with a smile that stretched across the stars, saw to it that they got their wish, with just one reservation: the wish came true, but only in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Mirror Image (The Twilight Zone)|Mirror Image]]'' [1.21] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Millicent Barnes, age twenty-five, young woman waiting for a bus on a rainy November night. Not a very imaginative type is Miss Barnes, not given to undue anxiety or fears, or for that matter even the most temporal flights of fancy. Like most young career women, she has a generic classification as a, quote, girl with a head on her shoulders, end of quote. All of which is mentioned now because in just a moment the head on Miss Barnes's shoulders will be put to a test. Circumstances will assault her sense of reality and a chain of nightmares will put her sanity on a block. Millicent Barnes, who in one minute will wonder is she's going mad.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Obscure metaphysical explanation to cover a phenomenon, reasons dredged out of the shadows to explain away that which cannot be explained. Call it parallel planes or just insanity. Whatever it is, you find it in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Monsters are Due on Maple Street|The Monsters are Due on Maple Street]]'' [1.22] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Maple Street, USA. Late summer. A tree-lined little world of front porch gliders, barbecues, the laughter of children and the bell of an ice cream vendor. ''[pause]'' At the sound of the roar and the flash of light, it will be precisely 6:43 PM on Maple Street ''[roaring and dialogue]'' This is Maple Street on a late Saturday afternoon. Maple Street...in the last calm and reflective moment...before the monsters came.

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:'''Rod Serling''': The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices...to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill...and suspicion can destroy...and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own -- for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is...that these things cannot be confined...to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A World of Difference|A World of Difference]]'' [1.23] ===
[[File:Howard Duff Eileen Ryan Twilight Zone.JPG|thumb|[[w:Howard Duff|Howard Duff]] and [[w:Eileen Ryan|Eileen Ryan]] in the episode &quot;A World of Difference&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': You're looking at a tableau of reality, things of substance, of physical material: a desk, a window, a light. These things exist and have dimension. Now this is Arthur Curtis, age thirty-six, who also is real. He has flesh and blood, muscle and mind. But in just a moment we will see how thin a line separates that which we assume to be real with that manufactured inside of a mind.

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:'''Rod Serling''': The modus operandi for the departure from life is usually a pine box of such and such dimensions, and this is the ultimate in reality. But there are other ways for a man to exit from life. Take the case of Arthur Curtis, age thirty-six. His departure was along a highway with an exit sign that reads 'This way to escape.' Arthur Curtis, en route to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Long Live Walter Jameson|Long Live Walter Jameson]]'' [1.24] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're looking at Act One, Scene One, of a nightmare, one not restricted to witching hours and dark, rainswept nights. Professor Walter Jameson, popular beyond words, who talks of the past as if it were the present, who conjures up the dead as if they were alive. ''[Walter Jameson speaks]'' In the view of this man, Professor Samuel Kittridge, Walter Jameson has access to knowledge that couldn't come out of a volume of history, but rather from a book on black magic, which is to say that this nightmare begins at noon.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Last stop on a long journey, as yet another human being returns to the vast nothingness that is the beginning...and into the dust that is always...the end.

=== ''[[w:People Are Alike All Over|People Are Alike All Over]]'' [1.25] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You are looking at a species of flimsy little two-legged animal with extremely small heads whose name is Man. Warren Marcusson, age thirty-five. Samuel A. Conrad, age thirty-one.
:'''Warren Marcusson''': Hey, come on, Sam. We've only got a few minutes.
:'''Rod Serling''': They're taking a highway into space, Man unshackling himself and sending his tiny, grouping fingers up into the unknown. Their destination is Mars, and in just a moment we'll land there with them.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Species of animal brought back alive. Interesting similarity in physical characteristics to human beings in head, trunk, arms, legs, hands, feet. Very tiny undeveloped brain. Comes from primitive planet named Earth. Calls himself Samuel Conrad. And he will remain here in his cage with the running water and the electricity and the central heat as long as he lives. Samuel Conrad has found the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Execution (The Twilight Zone)|Execution]]'' [1.26] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Commonplace, if somewhat grim, unsocial event known as a necktie party. The guest of dishonor a cowboy named Joe Caswell, just a moment away from a rope, a short dance several feet off the ground, and then the dark eternity of all evil men. Mr. Joe Caswell, who, when the good Lord passed out a conscience, a heart, a feeling for fellow men, must have been out for a beer and missed out. Mr. Joe Caswell, in the last quiet moment of a violent life.

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:'''Rod Serling''': This is November, 1880, the aftermath of a necktie party. The victim's name - Paul Johnson, a minor-league criminal and the taker of another human life. No comment on his death save this: justice can span years. Retribution is not subject to a calendar. Tonight's case in point in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Big Tall Wish|The Big Tall Wish]]'' [1.27] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': In this corner of the universe, a prizefighter named Bolie Jackson, one-handed eighty-three pounds and an hour and a half away from a comeback at St. Nick's Arena. Mr. Bolie Jackson, who, by the standards of his profession, is an aging, over-the-hill relic of what was and who now sees a reflection of himself who's left too many pieces of his youth in too many stadiums for too many years before too many screaming people. Mr. Bolie Jackson, who might do well to look for some gentle magic in the hard-surfaced glass that stares back at him.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Bolie Jackson, a hundred and eighty-three pounds, who left a second chance lying in a heap on a rosin-spattered canvas at St. Nick's Arena. Mr. Bolie Jackson, who shares the most common ailment of all men, the strange and perverse disinclination to believe in a miracle, the kind of miracle to come from the mind of a little boy, perhaps only to be found in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Nice Place to Visit|A Nice Place to Visit]]'' [1.28] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a man at work, the only work he's ever done, the only work he knows. His name is Henry Francis Valentine but he calls himself Rocky, because that's the way his life has been - rocky and perilous and uphill at a dead run all the way. He's tired now, tired of running or wanting, of waiting for the breaks that come to others but never to him, never to Rocky Valentine. ''[Rocky gets chased and shot by the cops]'' A scared, angry little man. He thinks it's all over now, but he's wrong. For Rocky Valentine, it's just the beginning.

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:'''Rod Serling''': A scared, angry little man who never got a break. Now he has everything he's ever wanted...and he's going to have to live with it for eternity...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Nightmare as a Child|Nightmare as a Child]]'' [1.29] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Month of November, hot chocolate, and a small cameo of a child's face, imperfect only in its solemnity. And these are the improbable ingredients to a human emotion, an emotion, say, like fear. But in a moment this woman, Helen Foley, will realize fear. She will understand what are the properties of terror. A little girl will lead her by the hand and walk with her into a nightmare.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Miss Helen Foley, who has lived in night and who will wake up to morning. Miss Helen Foley, who took a dark spot from the tapestry of her life and rubbed it clean, then stepped back a few paces and got a good look at the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Stop at Willoughby|A Stop at Willoughby]]'' [1.30] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Gart Williams, age thirty-eight, a man protected by a suit of armor all held together by one bolt. Just a moment ago, someone removed the bolt, and Mr. Williams's protection fell away from him and left him a naked target. He's been cannonaded this afternoon by all the enemies of his life. His insecurity has shelled him, his sensitivity has straddled him with humiliation, his deep-rooted disquiet about his own worth has zeroed in on him, landed on target, and blown him apart. Mr. Gart Williams, ad agency exec, who in just a moment will move into the Twilight Zone - in a desperate search for survival.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Willoughby? Maybe it's wishful thinking nestled in a hidden part of a man's mind, or maybe it's the last stop in the vast design of things, or perhaps, for a man like Mr. Gart Williams, who climbed on a world that went by too fast, it's a place around the bend where he could jump off. Willoughby? Whatever it is, it comes with sunlight and serenity, and is a part of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Chaser (The Twilight Zone)|The Chaser]]'' [1.31] ===
[[File:George Grizzard Patricia Barry The Twilight Zone 1960.JPG|thumb|[[w:George Grizzard|George Grizzard]] and [[w:Patricia Barry|Patricia Barry]] from the episode &quot;The Chaser&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Roger Shackleforth. Age: youthful twenties. Occupation: being in love. Not just in love, but madly, passionately, illogically, miserably, all-consumingly in love, with a young woman named Leila who has a vague recollection of his face and even less than a passing interest. In a moment you'll see a switch, because Mr. Roger Shackleforth, the young gentleman so much in love, will take a short but very meaningful journey into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Roger Shackleforth, who has discovered at this late date that love can be as sticky as a vat of molasses, as unpalatable as a hunk of spoiled yeast, and as all-consuming as a six-alarm fire in a bamboo and canvas tent. ''[pause]'' Case history of a lover boy who should never have entered the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Passage for Trumpet|A Passage for Trumpet]]'' [1.32] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Joey Crown, musician with an odd, intense face, whose life is a quest for impossible things like flowers in concrete or like trying to pluck a note of music out of the air and put in under glass to treasure. ''[dialogue]'' Joey Crown, musician with an odd, intense face, who, in a moment, will try to leave the Earth and discover the middle ground - the place we call the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Joey Crown, who makes music, and who discovered something about life; that it can be rich and rewarding and full of beauty, just like the music he played, if a person would only pause to look and to listen. Joey Crown, who got his clue in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Mr. Bevis|Mr. Bevis]]'' [1.33] ===
[[File:Orson Bean The Twilight Zone.jpg|thumb|[[w:Orson Bean|Orson Bean]] in the episode &quot;Mr. Bevis&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': In the parlance of the twentieth century, this is an oddball. His name is James B.W. Bevis, and his tastes lean toward stuffed animals, zither music, professional football, [[Charles Dickens]], moose heads, carnivals, dogs, children, and young ladies. Mr. Bevis is accident prone, a little vague, a little discombobulated, with a life that possesses all the security of a floating crap game. But this can be said of our Mr. Bevis: without him, without his warmth, without his kindness, the world would be a considerably poorer place, albeit perhaps a little saner. ''[dialogue]'' Should it not be obvious by now, James B. W. Bevis is a fixture in his own private, optimistic, hopeful little world, a world which has long ceased being surprised by him. James B. W. Bevis, on whom Dame Fortune will shortly turn her back, but not before she gives him a paste in the mouth. Mr. James B. W. Bevis, just one block away from The Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. James B.W. Bevis, who believes in a magic all his own. The magic of a child's smile, the magic of liking and being liked, the strange and wondrous mysticism that is the simple act of living. Mr. James B.W. Bevis, species of twentieth-century male, who has his own private and special Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The After Hours|The After Hours]]'' [1.34] ===
[[File:Elizabeth Allen The After Hours Twilight Zone 1960.jpg|thumb|[[w:Elizabeth Allen (actress)|Elizabeth Allen]] and her mannequin double from the episode &quot;The After Hours&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Express elevator to the ninth floor of a department store, carrying Miss Marsha White on a most prosaic, ordinary, run-of-the mill errand.
:''[Marsha arrives on the ninth floor to find it empty]''
:'''Rod Serling''': Miss Marsha White on the ninth floor, specialties department, looking for a gold thimble. The odds are that she'll find it, but there are even better odds that she'll find something else, because this isn't just a department store. This happens to be the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Marsha White in her normal and natural state: a wooden lady with a painted face, who, one month out of the year, takes on the characteristics of someone as normal and as flesh-and-blood as you and I. But it makes you wonder, doesn't it? Just how normal are we? Just who are the people we nod our hellos to as we pass on the street? A rather good question to ask, particularly in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Mighty Casey|The Mighty Casey]]'' [1.35] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': What you're looking at is a ghost, once alive but now deceased. Once upon a time, it was a baseball stadium that housed a major-league ballclub known as the Hoboken Zephyrs. Now it houses nothing but memories and a wind that stirs in the high grass of what was once an outfield, a wind that sometimes bears a faint, ghostly resemblance to the roar of a crowd that once sat here. We're back in time now, when the Hoboken Zephyrs were still a part of the National League and this mausoleum of memories was an honest-to-Pete stadium. But since this is strictly a story of make-believe, it has to start this way. Once upon a time, in Hoboken, New Jersey, it was tryout day. Though he's not yet on the field, you're about to meet a most unusual fellow, a left-handed pitcher named Casey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Once upon a time there was a major-league baseball team called the Hoboken Zephyrs who, during the last year of their existence, wound up in last place and shortly thereafter wound up in oblivion. There's a rumor, unsubstantiated of course, that a manager named McGarry took them to the West Coast and wound up with several pennants and a couple of world's championships. This team had a pitching staff that made history. Of course, none of them smiled very much, but it happens to be a fact that they pitched like nothing human. And if you're interested as to where these gentlemen came from, you might check under 'B' for baseball, in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A World of His Own|A World of His Own]]'' [1.36] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The home of Mr. Gregory West, one of America's most noted playwrights. The office of Mr. Gregory West. Mr. Gregory West—shy, quiet, and at the moment, very happy. Mary—warm, affectionate. ''[dialogue between Gregory and Mary before the camera pans to Victoria]'' And the final ingredient: Mrs. Gregory West.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': We hope you enjoyed tonight's romantic story on the Twilight Zone. At the same time we want you to realize that it was of course purely fictional. In real life such ridiculous nonsense could never-
:'''Gregory West''': Rod! You shouldn't. I mean you shouldn't say such things as &quot;nonsense&quot; and &quot;ridiculous&quot;.
:'''Rod Serling''': Well, that's the way it goes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Leaving Mr. Gregory West—Still shy, still quiet, very happy... and apparently in complete control of the Twilight Zone.

== Season 2 ==
=== ''[[w:King Nine Will Not Return|King Nine Will Not Return]]'' [2.1] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Africa, 1943. War spits out its violence overhead and the sandy graveyard swallows it up. Her name is King Nine, B-25, medium bomber, Twelfth Air Force. On a hot, still morning she took off from Tunisia to bomb the southern tip of Italy. An errant piece of flak tore a hole in a wing tank and, like a wounded bird, this is where she landed, not to return on this day, or any other day.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Enigma buried in the sand, a question mark with broken wings that lies in silent grace as a marker in a desert shrine. Odd how the real consorts with the shadows, how the present fuses with the past. How does it happen? The question is on file in the silent desert. And the answer? The answer is waiting for us in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Man in the Bottle|The Man in the Bottle]]'' [2.2] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Castle, gentle and infinitely patient people, whose lives have been a hope chest with a rusty lock and a lost set of keys. But in just a moment that hope chest will be opened, and an improbable phantom will try to bedeck the drabness of these two people's failure-laden lives with the gold and precious stones of fulfillment. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Castle, standing on the outskirts and about to enter the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A word to the wise now to the garbage collectors of the world, to the curio seekers, to the antique buffs, to everyone who would try to coax out a miracle from unlikely places. Check that bottle you're taking back for a two-cent deposit. The genie you save might be your own. Case in point, Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Castle, fresh from the briefest of trips into the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room|Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room]]'' [2.3] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Mr. Jackie Rhoades, age thirty-four, and where some men leave a mark of their lives as a record of their fragmentary existence on Earth, this man leaves a blot, a dirty, discolored blemish to document a cheap and undistinguished sojourn amongst his betters. What you're about to watch in this room is a strange, mortal combat between a man and himself, for in just a moment Mr. Jackie Rhoades, whose life has been given over to fighting adversaries, will find his most formidable opponent in a cheap hotel room that is in reality the outskirts of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit Mr. John Rhoades, formerly a reflection in a mirror, a fragment of someone else's conscience, a wishful thinker made out of glass, but now made out of flesh and on his way to join the company of men. Mr. John Rhoades, with one foot through the door and one foot out of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Thing About Machines|A Thing About Machines]]'' [2.4] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Mr. Bartlett Finchley, age forty-eight, a practicing sophisticate who writes very special and very precious things for gourmet magazines and the like. He's a bachelor and a recluse with few friends, only devotees and adherents to the cause of tart sophistry. He has no interests save whatever current annoyances he can put his mind to. He has no purpose to his life except the formulation of day-to-day opportunities to vent his wrath on mechanical contrivances of an age he abhors. In short, Mr. Bartlett Finchley is a malcontent, born either too late or too early in the century, and who in just a moment will enter a realm where muscles and the will to fight back are not limited to human beings. Next stop for Mr. Bartlett Finchley - the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Paramedic''': You pulled the body out?
:'''Policeman''': Yeah. It's funny. They usually float.
:'''Paramedic''': What do you mean usually?
:'''Policeman''': Well, he was on the bottom. He hadn't come up. He wasn't weighted either. There was nothing to hold him down.
:'''Paramedic''': Huh.
:'''Policeman''': His eyes were open. He looked scared, like something had been chasing him or something. The neighbors said that he'd been shouting and running around last night. I wonder what it was that could've scared him.
:'''Paramedic''': Whatever it was, it's a little item he took along with him.
:'''Policeman''': Yeah. Maybe he was drunk, imagining things.
:'''Paramedic''': Maybe.
:'''Policeman''': Could be he had a heart attack or something.
:'''Paramedic''': Could be. Could just be.
:'''Rod Serling''': Yes, it could just be. It could just be that Mr. Bartlett Finchley succumbed from a heart attack and a set of delusions. It could just be that he was tormented by an imagination as sharp as his wit and as pointed as his dislikes. But as perceived by those attending, this is one explanation that has left the premises with the deceased. Look for it filed under 'M' for machines in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Howling Man|The Howling Man]]'' [2.5] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The prostrate form of Mr. David Ellington, scholar, seeker of truth and, regretably, finder of truth. A man who will shortly arise from his exhaustion to confront a problem that has tormented mankind since the beginning of time. A man who knocked on a door seeking sanctuary and found, instead, the outer edges of The Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Ancient folk saying: 'You can catch the Devil, but you can't hold him long.' Ask Brother Jerome. Ask David Ellington. They know, and they'll go on knowing to the end of their days and beyond--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Eye of the Beholder (1960 Twilight Zone episode)|The Eye of the Beholder ]]'' [2.6] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Suspended in time and space for a moment, your introduction to Miss Janet Tyler, who lives in a very private world of darkness. A universe whose dimensions are the size, thickness, length of the swath of bandages that cover her face. In a moment we will go back into this room, and also in a moment we will look under those bandages. Keeping in mind of course that we are not to be surprised by what we see, for this isn't just a hospital, and this patient 307 is not just a woman. This happens to be the Twilight Zone, and Miss Janet Tyler, with you, is about to enter it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Janet Tyler''': Mr. Smith?
:'''Walter Smith''': Yes?
:'''Janet Tyler''': Why do we have to look like this?
:'''Walter Smith''': I don't know, Miss Tyler. I really don't know. But you know something? It doesn't matter. There's an old saying. A very, very old saying. &quot;Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.&quot; When we leave here, when we go to the village, try to think of that, Miss Tyler. Say it over and over to yourself. &quot;Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Now the questions that come to mind: &quot;Where is this place and when is it?&quot; &quot;What kind of world where ugliness is the norm and beauty the deviation from that norm?&quot; You want an answer? The answer is it doesn't make any difference because the old saying happens to be true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In this year or a hundred years hence. On this planet or wherever there is human life, perhaps out amongst the stars. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lesson to be learned in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Nick of Time (The Twilight Zone)|Nick of Time]]'' [2.7] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The hand belongs to Mr. Don S. Carter, male member of a honeymoon team en route across the Ohio countryside to New York City. In one moment, they will be subjected to a gift most humans never receive in a lifetime. For one penny, they will be able to look into the future. The time is now, the place is a little diner in Ridgeview, Ohio, and what this young couple doesn't realize is that this town happens to lie on the outskirts of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pat Carter''': ''[to Don]'' It's as if every superstitious feeling you ever had is wrapped up in that one machine. It doesn't matter whether it can foretell the future. What matters is whether you believe more in, in luck and in fortune than you do in yourself. Well, you can decide your own life. You have a mind, a wonderful mind. Don't destroy it trying to justify that cheap penny fortune machine to yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Counterbalance in the little town of Ridgeview, Ohio. Two people permanently enslaved by the tyranny of fear and superstition, facing the future with a kind of helpless dread. Two others facing the future with confidence - having escaped one of the darker places of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Lateness of the Hour|The Lateness of the Hour]]'' [2.8] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The residence of Dr. William Loren, which is in reality a menagerie for machines. We're about to discover that sometimes the product of man's talent and genius can walk amongst us untouched by the normal ravages of time. These are Dr. Loren's robots, built to functional as well as artistic perfection. But in a moment Dr. William Loren, wife and daughter will discover that perfection is relative, that even robots have to be paid for, and very shortly will be shown exactly what is the bill.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Let this be the postscript: should you be worn out by the rigors of competing in a very competitive world, if you're distraught from having to share your existence with the noises and neuroses of the twentieth century, if you crave serenity but want it full time and with no strings attached, get yourself a workroom in a basement and then drop a note to Dr. and Mrs. William Loren. They're a childless couple who made comfort a life's work, and maybe there are a few do-it-yourself pamphlets still available in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Trouble with Templeton|The Trouble with Templeton]]'' [2.9] ===
[[File:Brian Aherne Pippa Scott The Twilight Zone 1960.jpg|thumb|[[w:Pippa Scott|Pippa Scott]] and [[w:Brian Aherne|Brian Aherne]] from the &quot;The Trouble With Templeton&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Pleased to present for your consideration Mr. Booth Templeton, serious and successful star of over thirty Broadway plays, who is not quite all right today. Yesterday and its memories is what he wants, and yesterday is what he'll get. Soon his years and his troubles will descend on him in an avalanche. In order not to be crushed, Mr. Booth Templeton will escape from his theater and his world and make his debut on another stage in another world that we call the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Booth Templeton, who shared with most human beings the hunger to recapture the past moments, the ones that soften with the years. But in his case, the characters of his past blocked him out and sent him back to his own time, which is where we find him now. Mr. Booth Templeton, who had a round-trip ticket into the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Most Unusual Camera|A Most Unusual Camera]]'' [2.10] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': A hotel suite that in this instance serves as a den of crime, the aftermath of a rather minor event to be noted on a police blotter, an insurance claim, perhaps a three-inch box on page twelve of the evening paper. Small addenda to be added to the list of the loot: a camera, a most unimposing addition to the flotsam and jetsam that it came with, hardly worth mentioning really, because cameras are cameras, some expensive, some purchasable at five-and-dime stores. But this camera, this one's unusual, because in just a moment we'll watch it inject itself into the destinies of three people. It happens to be a fact that the pictures that it takes can only be developed in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Object known as a camera, vintage uncertain, origin unknown. But for the greedy, the avaricious, the fleet of foot who can run a four-minute mile so long as they're chasing a fast buck, it makes believe that it's an ally, but it isn't at all. It's a beckoning come-on for a quick walk around the block in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Night of the Meek|The Night of the Meek]]'' [2.11] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Mr. Henry Corwin, normally unemployed, who once a year takes the lead role in the uniquely popular American institution, that of the department-store Santa Claus in a road company version of 'The Night Before Christmas.' But in just a moment Mr. Henry Corwin, ersatz Santa Claus, will enter a strange kind of North Pole which is one part the wondrous spirit of Christmas and one part the magic that can only be found in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A word to the wise to all the children of the twentieth century, whether their concern be pediatrics or geriatrics, whether they crawl on hands and knees and wear diapers or walk with a cane and comb their beards. There's a wondrous magic to Christmas, and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek. And a merry Christmas to each and all.

=== ''[[w:Dust (The Twilight Zone)|Dust]]'' [2.12] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': There was a village, built of crumbling clay and rotting wood, and it squatted ugly under a broiling sun like a sick and mangy animal wanting to die. This village had a virus, shared by its people. It was the germ of squalor, of hopelessness, of a loss of faith. For the faithless, the hopeless, the misery-laden, there is time, ample time, to engage in one of the other pursuits of men. They begin to destroy themselves.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': It was a very small, misery-laden village on the day of a hanging, and of little historical consequence. And if there's any moral to it at all, let's say that in any quest for magic, in any search for sorcery, witchery, legerdemain, first check the human heart. For inside this deep place is a wizardry that costs far more than a few pieces of gold. Tonight's case in point in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Back There|Back There]]'' [2.13] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Witness a theoretical argument, Washington D.C., the present. Four intelligent men talking about an improbable thing like going back in time. A friendly debate revolving around a simple issue: could a human being change what has happened before? Interesting and theoretical because who ever heard of a man going back in time, before tonight, that is. Because this is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Peter Corrigan, lately returned from a place 'back there,' a journey into time with highly questionable results, proving on one hand that the threads of history are woven tightly and the skein of events cannot be undone, but on the other hand, there are small fragments of tapestry that can be altered. Tonight's thesis to be taken as you will, in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Whole Truth (The Twilight Zone)|The Whole Truth]]'' [2.14] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This, as the banner already has proclaimed, is Mr. Harvey Hunnicut, an expert on commerce and con jobs, a brash, bright, and larceny-loaded wheeler and dealer who, when the good lord passed out a conscience, must have gone for a beer and missed out. And these are a couple of other characters in our story: a little old man and a Model A car - but not just any old man and not just any Model A. There's something very special about the both of them. As a matter of fact, in just a few moments they'll give Harvey Hunnicut something that he's never experienced before. Through the good offices of a little magic, they will unload on Mr. Hunnicut the absolute necessity to tell the truth. Exactly where they come from is conjecture, but as to where they're heading for, this we know, because all of them - and you - are on the threshold of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Couldn't happen, you say? Far-fetched? Way-out? Tilt-of-center? Possible, but the next time you buy an automobile, if it happens to look as if it had just gone through the Battle of the Marne, and the seller is ready to throw into the bargain one of his arms, be particularly careful in explaining to the boss about your grandmother's funeral when you were actually at Chavez Ravine watching the Dodgers. It'll be a fact that you are the proud possessor of an instrument of truth manufactured and distributed by an exclusive dealer in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Invaders (The Twilight Zone)|The Invaders]]'' [2.15] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is one of the out-of-the-way places. The unvisited places. Bleak, wasted, dying. This is a farmhouse. Handmade, crude, a house without electricity or gas. A house untouched by progress. This is the woman who lives in the house. A woman who's been alone for many years. A strong, simple woman whose only problem, up until this moment, has been that of acquiring enough food to eat. A woman about to face terror, which is, even now, coming at her from the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width:&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Invader''': Central control. Come in, central control. Do you read me? Gresham is dead. Repeat: Gresham is dead! The ship's destroyed! Incredible race of giants here! Race of giants! No, central control. No counterattack. Repeat: no counterattack! Too much for us! Too powerful! Stay away! Gresham and I - we're finished! Finished! Stay away! Stay away!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': These are the invaders, the tiny beings from the tiny place called Earth, who would take the giant step across the sky to the question marks that sparkle and beckon from the vastness of the universe only to be imagined. The invaders, who found out that a one-way ticket to the stars beyond has the ultimate price tag. And we have just seen it entered in a ledger that covers all the transactions of the universe, a bill stamped 'paid in full,' and to be found, on file, in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Penny for Your Thoughts (The Twilight Zone)|A Penny For Your Thoughts]]'' [2.16] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Hector B. Poole, resident of the Twilight Zone. Flip a coin and keep flipping it. What are the odds? Half the time it will come up heads, half the time tails. But in one freakish chance in a million, it'll land on its edge. Mr. Hector B. Poole, a bright human coin, on his way to the bank.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': One time in a million, a coin will land on its edge, but all it takes to knock it over is a vagrant breeze, a vibration or a slight blow. Hector B. Poole, a human coin, on edge for a brief time in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Twenty Two (The Twilight Zone)|Twenty-Two]] '' [2.17] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Miss Liz Powell. She's a professional dancer and she's in the hospital as a result of overwork and nervous fatigue. And at this moment we have just finished walking with her in a nightmare. In a moment she'll wake up and we'll remain at her side. The problem here is that both Miss Powell and you will reach a point where it might be difficult to decide which is reality and which is nightmare, a problem uncommon perhaps but rather peculiar to the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Miss Elizabeth Powell, professional dancer. Hospital diagnosis: acute anxiety brought on by overwork and fatigue. Prognosis: with rest and care, she'll probably recover. But the cure to some nightmares is not to be found in known medical journals. You look for it under 'potions for bad dreams,' to be found in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Odyssey of Flight 33|The Odyssey of Flight 33]]'' [2.18] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're riding on a jet airliner en route from London to New York. You're at 35,000 feet atop an overcast and roughly fifty-five minutes from Idlewild Airport. But what you've seen occur inside the cockpit of this plane is no reflection on the aircraft or the crew. It's a safe, well-engineered, perfectly designed machine, and the men you've just met are a trained, cool, highly efficient team. The problem is simply that the plane is going too fast and there is nothing within the realm of knowledge or at least logic to explain it. Unbeknownst to passenger and crew, this airplane is heading into an unchartered region well off the beaten track of commercial travelers. It's moving into the Twilight Zone. What you're about to see we call The Odyssey of Flight 33.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A Global jet airliner, en route from London to New York on an uneventful afternoon in the year 1961, but now reported overdue and missing, and by now searched for on land, sea, and air by anguished human beings fearful of what they'll find. But you and I know where she is, you and I know what's happened. So if some moment, any moment, you hear the sound of jet engines flying atop the overcast, engines that sound searching and lost, engines that sound desperate, shoot up a flare or do something. That would be Global 33 trying to get home from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Mr. Dingle, the Strong|Mr. Dingle, the Strong]]'' [2.19] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Uniquely American institution known as the neighborhood bar. Reading left to right are Mr. Anthony O'Toole, proprietor who waters his drinks like geraniums but who stands foursquare for peace and quiet and for booths for ladies. This is Mr. Joseph J. Callahan, an unregistered bookie, whose entire life is any sporting event with two sides and a set of odds. His idea of a meeting at the summit is any dialogue between a catcher and a pitcher with more than one man on base. And this animated citizen is every anonymous bettor who ever dropped rent money on a horse race, a prize fight, or a floating crap game, and who took out his frustrations and his insolvency on any vulnerable fellow barstool companion within arm's and fist's reach. And this is Mr. Luther Dingle, a vacuum-cleaner salesman whose volume of business is roughly that of a valet at a hobo convention. He's a consummate failure in almost everything but is a good listener and has a prominent jaw. ''[narration pauses for dialogue until the Martians' arrival]'' And these two unseen gentlemen are visitors from outer space. They are about to alter the destiny of Luther Dingle by leaving him a legacy, the kind you can't hardly find no more. In just a moment, a sad-faced perennial punching bag, who missed even the caboose of life's gravy train, will take a short constitutional into that most unpredictable region that we refer to as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit Mr. Luther Dingle, formerly vacuum-cleaner salesman, strongest man on Earth, and now mental giant. These latter powers will very likely be eliminated before too long, but Mr. Dingle has an appeal to extraterrestrial note-takers as well as to frustrated and insolvent bet-losers. Offhand, I'd say that he was in for a great deal of extremely odd periods, simply because there are so many inhabited planets who send down observers, and also because, of course, Mr. Dingle lives his life with one foot in his mouth, and the other in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Static (The Twilight Zone)|Static]]'' [2.20] ===
[[File:Dean Jagger The Twilight Zone 1961.JPG|thumb|[[w:Dean Jagger|Dean Jagger]] from the episode &quot;Static&quot;]]

:'''Boy''': Hey, Mr. Lindsay, what's that?
:'''Ed Lindsay''': That's a radio, boy.
:'''Boy''': Yeah? What does it do?
:'''Ed Lindsay''': Don't you know what a radio is, boy?
:'''Boy''': Well, sure, but I've never seen one like that before.
:'''Rod Serling''': No one ever saw one quite like that, because that's a very special sort of radio. In its day, circa 1935, its type was one of the most elegant consoles on the market. Now, with its fabric-covered speakers, its peculiar yellow dial, its serrated knobs, it looks quaint and a little strange. Mr. Ed Lindsay is going to find out how strange very soon —when he tunes in to the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Around and around she goes, and where she stops nobody knows. All Ed Lindsay knows is that he desperately wanted a second chance and finally got it, through a strange and wonderful time machine called a radio...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Prime Mover|The Prime Mover]]'' [2.21] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a man who thinks and thereby gets things done. Mr. Jimbo Cobb might be called a prime mover, a talent which has to be seen to be believed. In just a moment, he'll show his friends and you how he keeps both feet on the ground and his head in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Some people possess talent, others are possessed by it. When that happens, the talent becomes a curse. Jimbo Cobb knew, right from the beginning. But before Ace Larsen learned that simple truth, he had to take a short trip through the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Long Distance Call|Long Distance Call]]'' [2.22] ===
[[File:The Twilight Zone Lili Darvas Billy Mumy 1961.jpg|thumb|[[w:Lili Darvas|Lili Darvas]] and [[w:Billy Mumy|Billy Mumy]] in the episode &quot;Long Distance Call&quot;.]]

:'''Rod Serling''': As must be obvious, this is a house hovered over by Mr. Death, that omnipresent player to the third and final act of every life. And it's been said, and probably rightfully so, that what follows this life is one of the unfathomable mysteries, an area of darkness which we the living reserve for the dead - or so it is said. For in a moment, a child will try to cross that bridge which separates light and shadow, and of course he must take the only known route, that indistinct highway through the region we call the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A toy telephone, an act of faith, a set of improbable circumstances, all combine to probe a mystery, to fathom a depth, to send a facet of light into a dark after-region, to be believed or disbelieved depending on your frame of reference. A fact or a fantasy, a substance or a shadow, but all of it very much a part of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Hundred Yards Over the Rim|A Hundred Yards Over the Rim]]'' [2.23] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The year is 1847, the place is the territory of New Mexico, the people are a tiny handful of men and women with a dream. Eleven months ago, they started out from Ohio and headed west. Someone told them about a place called California, about a warm sun and a blue sky, about rich land and fresh air, and at this moment almost a year later they've seen nothing but cold, heat, exhaustion, hunger, and sickness. This man's name is Christian Horn. He has a dying eight year-old son and a heartsick wife, and he's the only one remaining who has even a fragment of the dream left. Mr. Chris Horn, who's going over the top of a rim to look for water and sustenance and in a moment will move into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Christian Horn, one of the hardy breed of men who headed west during a time when there were no concrete highways or the solace of civilization. Mr. Christian Horn, family and party, heading west, after a brief detour through the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Rip Van Winkle Caper|The Rip Van Winkle Caper]]'' [2.24] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Introducing four experts in the questionable art of crime. Mr. Farwell, expert on noxious gases, former professor with a doctorate in both chemistry and physics. Mr. Erbie, expert in mechanical engineering. Mr. Brooks, expert in the use of firearms and other weaponry. And Mr. DeCruz, expert in demolition and various forms of destruction. The time is now and the place is a mountain cave in Death Valley, U.S.A. In just a moment, these four men will utlize the services of a truck placed in cosmoline, loaded with a hot heist cooled off by a century of sleep, and then take a drive into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The last of four Rip Van Winkles who all died precisely the way they lived, chasing an idol across the sand to wind up bleached dry in the hot sun as so much desert flotsam, worthless as the gold bullion they built a shrine to. Tonight's lesson...in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Silence (The Twilight Zone)|The Silence]]'' [2.25] ===
[[File:Franchot Tone Jonathan Harris Twilight Zone 1961.jpg|thumb|[[w:Franchot Tone|Franchot Tone]] and [[w:Jonathan Harris|Jonathan Harris]] from the episode &quot;The Silence&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': The note that this man is carrying across a club room is in the form of a proposed wager, but it's the kind of wager that comes without precedent. It stands alone in the annals of bet-making as the strangest game of chance ever offered by one man to another. In just a moment, we'll see the terms of the wager and what young Mr. Tennyson does about it. And in the process, we'll witness all parties spin a wheel of chance in a very bizarre casino called the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Jamie Tennyson, who almost won a bet, but who discovered somewhat belatedly that gambling can be a most unproductive pursuit, even with loaded dice, marked cards, or as in his case some severed vocal cords. For somewhere beyond him a wheel was turned and his number came up black thirteen. If you don't believe it, ask the croupier, the very special one who handles roulette in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Shadow Play (1961 The Twilight Zone episode)|Shadow Play]]'' [2.26] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Adam Grant, a nondescript kind of man found guilty of murder and sentenced to the electric chair. Like every other criminal caught in the wheels of justice, he's scared, right down to the marrow of his bones. But it isn't prison that scares him, the long silent nights of waiting, the slow walk to the little room or even death itself. It's something else that holds Adam Grant in the hot, sweaty grip of fear. Something worse than any punishment this world has to offer. Something found only in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': We know that a dream can be real, but who ever thought that reality could be a dream? We exist, of course, but...but how, in what way? As we believe, as flesh-and-blood human beings, or are we simply parts of someone's feverish, complicated nightmare? Think about it and then ask yourself, do you live here, in this country, in this world, or do you live instead in the Twilight Zone?

=== ''[[w:The Mind and the Matter|The Mind and the Matter]]'' [2.27] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': A brief if frenetic introduction to Mr. Archibald Beechcroft. A child of the 20th century, a product of the population explosion, and one of the inheritors of the legacy of progress. ''[dissolve from Beechcroft in the crowded subway to Beechcroft in the crowded elevator]'' Mr. Beechcroft again. This time act two of his daily battle for survival. And in just a moment, our hero will begin his personal one-man rebellion against the mechanics of his age, and to do so he will enlist certain aids available only in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Archibald Beechcroft, a child of the twentieth century, who has found out through trial and error - and mostly error - that with all its faults it may well be that this is the best of all possible worlds. People notwithstanding, it has much to offer. Tonight's case in point in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?|Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?]]'' [2.28] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Wintry February night, the present. Order of events: a phone call from a frightened woman notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, then the checkout you've just witnessed, with two state troopers verifying the event – but with nothing more enlightening to add beyond evidence of some tracks leading across the highway to a diner. You've heard of trying to find a needle in a haystack? Well, stay with us now, and you'll be part of an investigating team whose mission is not to find that proverbial needle. No, their task is even harder. They've got to find a Martian in a diner, and in just a moment you'll search with them, because you've just landed in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hayley''': Didn't you go out on that bus?	
:'''Ross''': I did, indeed. That bridge wasn't safe. It collapsed. The state police car, the bus, kerplunk. Right into the river. It was a terrible scene. No one got out.	
:'''Hayley''': Except you	
:'''Ross''': Except me. Lucky,I guess, huh?	
:'''Hayley''': Very lucky but...	
:'''Ross''': But what?	
:'''Hayley''': You're not even wet.	
:'''Ross''': Wet? What is wet?	
:'''Hayley''': What do you mean what is wet? You fell in the river but you're clothes are all dry.	
:'''Mr Ross''': An illusion, that's all. Like that jukebox playing in the corner, that's an illusion too. ''[The Jukebox stops playing]'' or that phone ringing. ''[A Phone starts ringing, then stops]'' That's an illusion. Just a parlor trick.	
:'''Hayley''': What are you,some kind of magician?	
:'''Ross''': Oh hardly. ''[A third arm comes out of his jacket and lights a Cigarette]'' Now before you faint dead away, I think I ought to tell you that the name isn't really Ross and I wasn't really going to Boston. No, I was sent as sort of an advance scout. You know, these cigarettes, do you call them? They taste wonderful. We haven't got a thing like this on Mars. That's incidentally where I come from. We're beginning to colonize. My friends will be arriving shortly. I think they're going to like it here. It's a lovely area. So remote and off the beaten track. Just the perfect place to set up a colony, don't you think? Now while we're waiting, how about a little of what you call music?	
:'''Hayley''': Oh, I don't mind. I have to do a little waiting myself. You see, Mr. Ross, my name isn't Hayley. And I do agree with you, this is an extraordinary place to colonize. We folks on Venus had the same idea. We got it several years ago. And I think I ought to tell you now that your friends are not coming. They've been intercepted. Oh, a colony is coming. But it's from Venus. And if you're still alive, I think you'll see how we differ. ''[He takes off his hat, revealing a third eye]'' And I agree with you about what they call music. Why don't you play some? ''[laughs uproariously]''
:'''Rod Serling''': Incident on a small island, to be believed or disbelieved. However, if a sour-faced dandy named Ross or a big, good-natured counterman who handles a spatula as if he'd been born with one in his mouth, if either of these two entities walk onto your premises, you'd better hold their hands – all three of them – or check the color of their eyes – all three of them. The gentlemen in question might try to pull you into... the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Obsolete Man|The Obsolete Man]]'' [2.29] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future. Not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world. It is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super-states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace. ''[cut to Wordsworth entering the hall of judgment]'' This is Mr. Romney Wordsworth in his last forty-eight hours on Earth. He's a citizen of the State, but will soon have to be eliminated, because he's built out of flesh and because he has a mind. Mr. Romney Wordsworth, who will draw his last breaths... in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Burgess Meredith|Romney Wordsworth]]''': I am a librarian, sir. That ''is'' my occupation, and my profession. If you people choose to call that obsolete.....
:'''Secretary''': Request clarification of the term.
:'''[[w:Fritz Weaver|Chancellor]]''': Yes, Mister Wordsworth, the term &quot;You People,&quot; do you make reference to The State?
:'''Wordsworth''': I make reference to The State.
:'''Chancellor''': And you persist in declaring your occupation as that of a librarian. Is that correct?
:'''Wordsworth''': Yes, sir, that is correct.
:'''Chancellor''': ''(his voice sneering)'' A ''librarian!'' Having to do with ''books!''
:'''Wordsworth''': Yes sir, books. 
:'''Chancellor''': And since there are no more books, there are no more libraries. Therefore, it follows there would be little use for the services of a librarian. Case in point: a minister would say his profession is preaching the word of God. And, since the State has proven that there is no God, that would make the function of a minister somewhat academic as well.
:'''Wordsworth''': There is a God!
:''(The Chancellor is starting to show annoyance at Wordsworth)''
:'''Chancellor''': You are in error, Mr. Wordsworth. There is no God. ''[grabbing loudspeaker]'' The State has proven that there is no God!
:'''Wordsworth''': You cannot erase God with an edict!
:'''Chancellor''': You are Obsolete, Mr. Wordsworth.
:'''Wordsworth''': A lie. No man is Obsolete.
:'''Chancellor''': You have no function, Mr. Wordsworth. You're an anachronism, like a ghost from another time.
:'''Wordsworth''': I am nothing more than a reminder to you that you cannot destroy truth by burning pages.
:'''Chancellor''': You're a bug, Mr. Wordsworth. A crawling insect. An ugly misformed little creature who has no purpose here, no meaning.
:'''Wordsworth''': I am a human being!
:'''Chancellor''': You're a Librarian, Mr. Wordsworth. A dealer in books and two-cent fines and pamphlets and closed stacks and the musty insides of a language factory that spews out meaningless words on an assembly line. ''Words,'' Mr. ''Wordsworth,'' that have no substance and no dimension. Like air, like the wind, like a vacuum that you make believe has an existence by ''scribbling index numbers on little cards!''
:'''Wordsworth''': I don't care! I am a human being! And if I speak one thought aloud, that thought lives, even after I've been shoveled into my grave!
:'''Chancellor''': Delusions, Mr. Wordsworth. Delusions that you inject into your veins with printer's ink. The narcotics that you call literature. The Bible, poetry, essays of all kind an opiate to make you think you have strength when you have no strength at all! You have nothing but spindly limbs and a spindly dream. The State has no use for your kind!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Chancellor has just escaped the bomb that destroyed Wordsworth's quarters; now he enters the hall of judgment where our story began]''
:'''Subaltern''': ''[speaking as the new Chancellor]'' Stand where you are. No further. You have been removed from office; the field investigators have declared you Obsolete.
:''[The former Chancellor stares incredulously]''
:'''Chancellor''': Obsolete?
:'''Subaltern''': You have disgraced the State, you have proven yourself a coward, you have therefore no function. ''You are Obsolete.'' 
:'''Chancellor''': But I'm not. I'm not Obsolete.
:'''Subaltern''': ''You are Obsolete!''
:'''Jurors''': Obsolete! Obsolete!
:'''Subaltern''': ''YOU ARE OBSOLETE!''
:'''Jurors''': Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete!
:'''Chancellor''': You're making a terrible mistake. A tragic mistake! I'm not Obsolete! I work for the State, I help the State! I help give the State its strength! How can you call me Obsolete!? HOW CAN YOU?! ''[Silence fills the chamber]'' Please, I'm not Obsolete.
:''[The Subaltern snaps his fingers. A guard slowly walks up to the Chancellor, who tries to run, but he finds one side of the crowd rising against him, he goes in the opposite direction, and the same happens, he looks desperately around]''
:'''Chancellor''': Please... please, I'm not obsolete. I have a function, I have a purpose. Please... I want to serve the State, please! I'm not obsolete! No, no, I- I- please, please, I'm not- I'm not obsolete, no! I want to serve the State... Please! Please! NO! I want to serve the State! Please! ''[the growling jurors close in on the ex-Chancellor, who breaks away with a yell and is chased across the room to the new Subaltern's seat]'' PLEASE, I'M- I'M NOT OBSOLETE!!! ''[He is grabbed, pulled down the length of the table, and dragged off to be killed as he screams]''
:'''Rod Serling''': The chancellor, the &lt;u&gt;late&lt;/u&gt; chancellor, was only partly correct. He &lt;u&gt;was&lt;/u&gt; obsolete. But so was the State, the entity he worshiped. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of man, that state is obsolete. A case to be filed under &quot;M&quot; for &quot;mankind&quot; - in the Twilight Zone.

== Season 3 ==
=== ''[[w:Two (The Twilight Zone)|Two]]'' [3.1] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is a jungle, a monument built by nature honoring disuse, commemorating a few years of nature being left to its own devices. But it's another kind of jungle, the kind that comes in the aftermath of man's battles against himself. Hardly an important battle, not a Gettysburg or a Marne or an Iwo Jima. More like one insignificant corner patch in the crazy quilt of combat. But it was enough to end the existence of this little city. It's been five years since a human being walked these streets. This is the first day of the sixth year, as man used to measure time. The time? Perhaps a hundred years from now. Or sooner. Or perhaps it's already happened two million years ago. The place? The signposts are in English so that we may read them more easily, but the place is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': This has been a love story about two lonely people who found each other in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Arrival (The Twilight Zone)|The Arrival]]'' [3.2] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This object, should any of you have lived underground for the better parts of your lives and never had occasion to look toward the sky, is an airplane, its official designation a DC-3. We offer this rather obvious comment because this particular airplane, the one you're looking at, is a freak. Now, most airplanes take off and land as per scheduled. On rare occasions they crash. But all airplanes can be counted on doing one or the other. Now, yesterday morning this particular airplane ceased to be just a commercial carrier. As of its arrival it became an enigma, a seven-ton puzzle made out of aluminum, steel, wire and a few thousand other component parts, none of which add up to the right thing. In just a moment, we're going to show you the tail end of its history. We're going to give you ninety percent of the jigsaw pieces and you and Mr. Sheckly here of the Federal Aviation Agency will assume the problem of putting them together along with finding the missing pieces. This we offer as an evening's hobby, a little extracurricular diversion which is really the national pastime in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of a man with an Achilles' heel, a mystery that landed in his life and then turned into a heavy weight, dragged across the years to ultimately take the form of an illusion. Now, that's the clinical answer that they put on the tag as they take him away. But if you choose to think that the explanation has to do with an airborne Flying Dutchman, a ghost ship on a fog-enshrouded night on a flight that never ends, then you're doing your business in an old stand in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Shelter (The Twilight Zone)|The Shelter]]'' [3.3] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': What you're about to watch is a nightmare. It is not meant to be prophetic, it need not happen. It's the fervent and urgent prayer of all men of good will that it never shall happen. But in this place, in this moment, it does happen. This is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marty Weiss''': We could have a block party tomorrow night or something. A big celebration!
:'''Jerry Harlowe''': Hey, there's an idea! A block party! Anything to get back to normal, huh?
:'''Bill Stockton''': Normal? I don't know. I don't know what normal is. I thought I did once. I don't anymore.
:'''Jerry Harlowe''': I told you we'd pay for the damages, Bill.
:'''Bill Stockton''': Damages? I wonder. I wonder if any of us has any idea what those &quot;damages&quot; really are. Maybe one of them is finding out what we're really like when we're &quot;normal.&quot; The kind of people we are, just underneath the skin. I mean all of us. A lot of naked, wild animals who put such a price on staying alive that they'll claw their neighbors to death just for the privilege! We were spared a bomb tonight, but I wonder...I wonder if we weren't destroyed even without it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': No moral, no message, no prophetic tract. Just a simple statement of fact. For civilization to survive, the human race has to remain civilized. Tonight's very small exercise in logic from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Passersby|The Passersby]]'' [3.4] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This road is the afterwards of the Civil War. It began at Fort Sumter, South Carolina and ended at a place called Appomattox. It's littered with the residue of broken battles and shattered dreams. ''[narration continues after dialogue between the Sergeant and Lavinia]'' In just a moment, you will enter a strange province that knows neither North nor South, a place we call the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Incident on a dirt road during the month of April, the year 1865. As we've already pointed out, it's a road that won't be found on a map, but it's one of many that lead in and out of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Game of Pool (1961)|A Game of Pool]]'' [3.5] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Jesse Cardiff, pool shark, the best on Randolph Street, who will soon learn that trying to be the best at anything carries its own special risk in or out of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Jesse Cardiff, who became a legend by beating one, but who has found out after his funeral that being the best of anything carries with it a special obligation to keep on proving it. Mr. Fats Brown, on the other hand, having relinquished the champion's mantle, has gone fishing. These are the ground rules in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Mirror (The Twilight Zone)|The Mirror]]'' [3.6] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is the face of Ramos Clemente, a year ago a beardless, nameless worker of the dirt who plodded behind a mule, furrowing someone else's land. And he looked up at a hot Central American sun and he pledged the impossible. He made a vow that he would lead an avenging army against the tyranny that put the ache in his back and the anguish in his eyes, and now one year later the dream of the impossible has become a fact. In just a moment we will look deep into this mirror and see the aftermath of a rebellion...in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Ramos Clemente, a would-be god in dungarees, strangled by an illusion, that will-o-'the-wisp mirage that dangles from the sky in front of the eyes of all ambitious men, all tyrants--and any resemblance to tyrants living or dead is hardly coincidental, whether it be here or in the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Grave (The Twilight Zone)|The Grave]]'' [3.7] ===
[[File:Lee Marvin Twilight Zone 1961.JPG|thumb|[[w:Lee Marvin|Lee Marvin]] in the episode &quot;The Grave&quot;]]

:'''Jasen''': Yes, sir. That's the end of that.
:'''Rod Serling''': Normally, the old man would be correct. This would be the end of the story. We've had the traditional shoot-out on the street and the badman will soon be dead. But some men of legend and folk tale have been known to continue having their way even after death. The outlaw and killer Pinto Sykes was such a person, and shortly we'll see how he introduces the town, and a man named Conny Miller in particular, to the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Final comment: you take this with a grain of salt or a shovelful of earth, as shadow or substance, we leave it up to you. And for any further research check under 'G' for ghosts in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:It's a Good Life (The Twilight Zone)|It's a Good Life]]'' [3.8] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Tonight's story on ''The Twilight Zone'' is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction. This, as you may recognize, is a map of the United States, and there's a little town there called Peaksville. On a given morning not too long ago, the rest of the world disappeared and Peaksville was left all alone. Its inhabitants were never sure whether the world was destroyed and only Peaksville left untouched or whether the village had somehow been taken away. They were, on the other hand, sure of one thing: the cause. A monster had arrived in the village. Just by using his mind, he took away the automobiles, the electricity, the machines - because they displeased him - and he moved an entire community back into the dark ages - just by using his mind. Now I'd like to introduce you to some of the people in Peaksville, Ohio. This is Mr. Fremont. It's in his farmhouse that the monster resides. This is Mrs. Fremont. And this is Aunt Amy, who probably had more control over the monster in the beginning than almost anyone. But one day she forgot. She began to sing aloud. Now, the monster doesn't like singing, so his mind snapped at her, turned her into the smiling, vacant thing you're looking at now. She sings no more. And you'll note that the people in Peaksville, Ohio, have to smile. They have to think happy thoughts and say happy things because once displeased, the monster can wish them into a cornfield or change them into a grotesque, walking horror. This particular monster can read minds, you see. He knows every thought, he can feel every emotion. Oh yes, I did forget something, didn't I? I forgot to introduce you to the monster. This is the monster. His name is Anthony Fremont. He's six years old, with a cute little-boy face and blue, guileless eyes. But when those eyes look at you, you'd better start thinking happy thoughts, because the mind behind them is absolutely in charge. This is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': No comment here. No comment at all. We only wanted to introduce to one of our very special citizens: little Anthony Fremont, age six, who lives in a village called Peaksville in a place that used to be Ohio. And if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk. Because if you do meet Anthony, you can be sure of one thing - you have entered the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Deaths-Head Revisited|Deaths-Head Revisited]]'' [3.9] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Schmidt, recently arrived in a small Bavarian village which lies eight miles northwest of Munich. A picturesque, delightful little spot one time known for its scenery, but more recently related to other events having to do with some of the less positive pursuits of man: human slaughter, torture, misery and anguish. Mr. Schmidt, as we will soon perceive, has a vested interest in the ruins of a concentration camp. For once, some seventeen years ago, his name was Gunther Lutze. He held the rank of a captain in the SS. He was a black-uniformed strutting animal whose function in life was to give pain. And like his colleagues at the time, he shared the one affliction most common amongst that breed known as Nazis: he walked the earth without a heart. And now former SS captain Lutze will revisit his old haunts, satisfied perhaps that all that is awaiting him in the ruins on the hill is an element of nostalgia. What he does not know of course is that a place like Dachau cannot exist only in Bavaria. By its nature, by its very nature, it must be one of the populated areas of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doctor''': Dachau. Why does it still stand? Why do we keep it standing?
:'''Rod Serling''': There is an answer to the doctor's question. All the Dachaus must remain standing. The Dachaus, the Belsens, the Buchenwalds, the Auschwitzes - all of them. They must remain standing because they are a monument to a moment in time when some men decided to turn the Earth into a graveyard. Into it they shoveled all of their reason, their logic, their knowledge, but worst of all, their conscience. And the moment we forget this, the moment we cease to be haunted by this remembrance, then we become gravediggers. Something to dwell on and remember, not only in the Twilight Zone but wherever men walk God's earth.

=== ''[[w:The Midnight Sun|The Midnight Sun]]'' [3.10] ===

:'''Mrs. Bronson''': There was a scientist on the radio this morning. He said that it'll get a lot hotter more each day, now that we're moving so close to the sun. And that's why were... That's why we're...
:'''Rod Serling''': The word that Mrs. Bronson is unable to put into the hot, still, sodden air is 'doomed,' because the people you've just seen have been handed a death sentence. One month ago, the Earth suddenly changed its elliptical orbit and in doing so began to follow a path which gradually, moment by moment, day by day, took it closer to the sun. And all of man's little devices to stir up the air are now no longer luxuries. They happen to be pitiful and panicky keys to survival. The time is five minutes to twelve, midnight. There is no more darkness. The place is New York City and this is the eve of the end, because even at midnight it's high noon, the hottest day in history. And you're about to spend it in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The poles of fear. The extremes of how the Earth might conceivably be doomed. Minor exercise in the care and feeding of a nightmare. Respectfully submitted by all the thermometer watchers in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Still Valley|Still Valley]]'' [3.11] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The time is 1863. The place: the state of Virginia. The event is a mass blood-letting known as the Civil War, a tragic moment in time when a nation was split into two fragments, each fragment deeming itself a nation. ''[narration continues after dialogue between Paradine and Dauger]'' This is Joseph Paradine, Confederate cavalry, as he heads down toward a small town in the middle of a valley. But very shortly, Joseph Paradine will make contact with the enemy. He will also make contact with an outpost not found on a military map. An outpost called the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': On the following morning, Sergeant Paradine and the rest of these men were moved up north to a little town in Pennsylvania, an obscure little place where a battle was brewing, a town called Gettysburg. And this one was fought without the help of the Devil. Small historical note not to be found in any known books, but part of the records in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Jungle (The Twilight Zone)|The Jungle]]'' [3.12] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The carcass of a goat, a dead finger, a few bits of broken glass and stone, and Mr. Alan Richards, a modern man of a modern age, hating with all his heart something in which he cannot believe and preparing, although he doesn't know it, to take the longest walk of his life, right down to the center of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Some superstitions, kept alive by the long night of ignorance, have their own special power. You'll hear of it through a jungle grapevine in a remote corner of the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:Once Upon a Time (The Twilight Zone)|Once Upon a Time]]'' [3.13] ===
[[File:Buster Keaton Twilight Zone 1961.JPG|thumb|right|A rather dour critic of his times, is shortly to discover the import of that old phrase, &quot;Out of the frying pan, into the fire.&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Mulligan, a rather dour critic of his times, is shortly to discover the import of that old phrase, &quot;Out of the frying pan, into the fire,&quot; said fire burning brightly at all times in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': &quot;To each his own.&quot; So goes another old phrase to which Mr. Woodrow Mulligan would heartily subscribe, for he has learned, definitely the hard way, that there is much wisdom in a third old phrase which goes as follows: &quot;Stay in your own backyard.&quot; To which it might be added, &quot;and if possible, assist others to stay in theirs&quot; — via, of course, the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Five Characters in Search of an Exit (The Twilight Zone)|Five Characters in Search of an Exit]]'' [3.14] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Clown, hobo, ballet dancer, bagpiper, and an army major - a collection of question marks. Five improbable entities stuck together into a pit of darkness. No logic, no reason, no explanation; just a prolonged nightmare in which fear, loneliness and the unexplainable walk hand in hand through the shadows. In a moment we'll start collecting clues as to the whys, the whats and the wheres. We will not end the nightmare, we'll only explain it - because this is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Just a barrel, a dark depository where are kept the counterfeit, make-believe pieces of plaster and cloth, wrought in the distorted image of human life. But this added, hopeful note: perhaps they are unloved only for the moment. In the arms of children there can be nothing but love. A clown, a tramp, a bagpipe player, a ballet dancer and a major. Tonight's cast of players on the odd stage known as the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Quality of Mercy (The Twilight Zone)|A Quality of Mercy]]'' [3.15] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': It's August, 1945, the last grimy pages of a dirty, torn book of war. The place is the Philippine Islands. The men are what's left of a platoon of American Infantry, whose dulled and tired eyes set deep in dulled and tired faces can now look toward a miracle, that moment when the nightmare appears to be coming to an end. But they've got one more battle to fight, and in a moment we'll observe that battle. August, 1945, Philippine Islands. But in reality it's high noon in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': 'The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.' Shakespeare, ''The Merchant of Venice'', but applicable to any moment in time, to any group of soldiery, to any nation on the face of the Earth - or, as in this case, to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Nothing in the Dark|Nothing in the Dark]]'' [3.16] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': An old woman living in a nightmare, an old woman who has fought a thousand battles with death and always won. Now she's faced with a grim decision - whether or not to open a door. And in some strange and frightening way she knows that this seemingly ordinary door leads to the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': There was an old woman who lived in a room and, like all of us, was frightened of the dark, but who discovered in the minute last fragment of her life that there was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. Object lesson for the more frightened amongst us, in or out of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:One More Pallbearer (The Twilight Zone)|One More Pallbearer]]'' [3.17] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': What you have just looked at takes place three hundred feet underground, beneath the basement of a New York City skyscraper. It's owned and lived in by one Paul Radin. Mr. Radin is rich, eccentric and single-minded. How rich we can already perceive. How eccentric and single-minded we shall see in a moment, because all of you have just entered the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Paul Radin, a dealer in fantasy, who sits in the rubble of his own making and imagines that he's the last man on Earth, doomed to a perdition of unutterable loneliness because a practical joke has turned into a nightmare. Mr. Paul Radin, pallbearer at a funeral that he manufactured himself in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Dead Man's Shoes (The Twilight Zone)|Dead Man's Shoes]]'' [3.18] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Nathan Edward Bledsoe, of the Bowery Bledsoes, a man once, a specter now. One of those myriad modern-day ghosts that haunt the reeking nights of the city in search of a flop, a handout, a glass of forgetfulness. Nate doesn't know it but his search is about to end, because those shiny new shoes are going to carry him right into the capital of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': There's an old saying that goes, 'If the shoe fits, wear it.' But be careful. If you happen to find a pair of size nine black-and-gray loafers, made to order in the old country, be very careful--you might walk right into the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:The Hunt (The Twilight Zone)|The Hunt]]'' [3.19] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': An old man and a hound dog named Rip, off for an evening's pleasure in quest of raccoon. Usually, these evenings end with one tired old man, one battle-scarred hound dog and one or more extremely dead raccoons, but as you may suspect that will not be the case tonight. These hunters won't be coming home from the hill. They're headed for the backwoods of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Travellers to unknown regions would be well-advised to take along the family dog. He could just save you from entering the wrong gate. At least, it happened that way once--in a mountainous area of the Twilight Zone. 

=== ''[[w:Showdown with Rance McGrew|Showdown with Rance McGrew]]'' [3.20] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Some one-hundred-odd years ago, a motley collection of tough mustaches galloped across the West and left behind a raft of legends and legerdemains. And it seems a reasonable conjecture that if there are any television sets up in cowboy heaven, and any one of these rough-and-woolly nail-eaters could see with what careless abandon their names and exploits are being bandied about, they're very likely turning over in their graves - or worse, getting out of them. Which gives you a clue as to the proceedings that'll begin in just a moment, when one Mr. Rance McGrew, a three-thousand-buck-a-week phony-baloney discovers that this week's current edition of make-believe is being shot on location - and that location is The Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The evolution of the so-called 'adult' western, and the metamorphosis of one Rance McGrew, formerly phony-baloney, now upright citizen with a preoccupation with all things involving tradition, truth, and cowpoke predecessors. It's the way the cookie crumbles and the six-gun shoots - in The Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Kick the Can (The Twilight Zone)|Kick the Can]]'' [3.21] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Sunnyvale Rest, a home for the aged, a dying place, and a common children's game called kick the can that will shortly become a refuge for a man who knows he will die in this world if he doesn't escape into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Sunnyvale Rest, a dying place for ancient people who have forgotten the fragile magic of youth. A dying place for those who have forgotten that childhood, maturity and old age are curiously intertwined and not separate. A dying place for those who have grown too stiff in their thinking to visit the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Piano in the House (The Twilight Zone)|A Piano in the House]]'' [3.22] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Fitzgerald Fortune, theater critic and cynic at large, on his way to a birthday party. If he knew what is in store for him he probably wouldn't go, because before this evening is over that cranky old piano is going to play 'Those Piano Roll Blues' - with some effects that could happen only in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Fitzgerald Fortune, a man who went searching for concealed persons and found himself in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank (The Twilight Zone)|The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank]]'' [3.23] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Time, the mid-twenties. Place, the Midwest, the southernmost section of the Midwest. We were just witnessing a funeral, a funeral that didn't come off exactly as planned, due to a slight fallout from the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Jeff and Comfort are still alive today, and their only son is a United States Senator. He's noted as an uncommonly shrewd politician, and some believe he must have gotten his education in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:To Serve Man (The Twilight Zone)|To Serve Man]]'' [3.24] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': Respectfully submitted for your perusal – a Kanamit. Height: a little over nine feet. Weight: in the neighborhood of three hundred and fifty pounds. Origin: unknown. Motives? Therein hangs the tale, for in just a moment, we're going to ask you to shake hands, figuratively, with a Christopher Columbus from another galaxy and another time. This is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pat''': Mr. Chambers! Don't get on that ship! I've translated the rest of that book, ''To Serve Man''...IT'S A ''COOKBOOK!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The recollections of one Michael Chambers, with appropriate flashbacks and soliloquy. Or more simply stated, the evolution of man. The cycle of going from dust to dessert. The metamorphosis from being the ruler of a planet to an ingredient in someone's soup. It's tonight's bill of fare from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Fugitive (Twilight Zone)|The Fugitive]]'' [3.25] ===
[[File:J. Pat O'Malley Susan Gordon Twilight Zone 1962.jpg|thumb|[[w:J. Pat O'Malley|J. Pat O'Malley]] and [[w:Susan Gordon|Susan Gordon]] in the episode &quot;The Fugitive&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': It's been said that science fiction and fantasy are two different things: science fiction the improbable made possible; fantasy, the impossible made probable. What would you have if you put these two different things together? Well, you'd have an old man named Ben who knows a lot of tricks most people don't know and a little girl named Jenny who loves him, and a journey into the heart of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mrs. Gann will be in for a big surprise when she finds this under Jenny's pillow, because Mrs. Gann has more temper than imagination. She'll never dream that this is a picture of Old Ben as he really looks, and it will never occur to her that eventually her niece will grow up to be an honest-to-goodness queen, somewhere in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Little Girl Lost (The Twilight Zone)|Little Girl Lost]]'' [3.26] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Missing: one frightened little girl. Name: Bettina Miller. Description: six years of age, average height and build, light brown hair, quite pretty. Last seen being tucked into bed by her mother a few hours ago. Last heard--aye, there's the rub, as Hamlet put it. For Bettina Miller can be heard quite clearly, despite the rather curious fact that she can't be seen at all. Present location? Let's say for the moment--in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chris''': What happened?
:'''Bill''': I pulled you out. Half of you was still here.
:'''Chris''': You mean to say you had a hold of me all this time?
:'''Bill''': That's right.
:'''Chris''': Oh, Bill. You know I didn't even feel you? Say, listen, why didn't you want me to reach in there?
:'''Bill''': And how come I kept telling you to hurry?
:'''Chris''': Yeah.
:'''Bill''': ''[bangs on the wall four times]'' That's why. It was closing up all the time you were in there. Another few seconds and half of you would've been here and the other half...
:'''Rod Serling''': The other half where? The fourth dimension? The fifth? Perhaps. They never found the answer. Despite a battery of research physicists equipped with every device known to man, electronic and otherwise, no result was ever achieved, except perhaps a little more respect for and uncertainty about the mechanisms of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Person or Persons Unknown|Person or Persons Unknown]]'' [3.27] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Cameo of a man who has just lost his most valuable possession. He doesn't know about the loss, yet. In fact, he doesn't even know about the possession. Because, like most people, David Gurney has never really thought about the matter of his identity. But he's going to be thinking a great deal about it from now on, because that is what he's lost. And his search for it is going to take him into the darkest corners - of The Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A case of mistaken identity or a nightmare turned inside out? A simple loss of memory or the end of the world? David Gurney may never find the answer, but you can be sure he's looking for it - in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Little People (The Twilight Zone)|The Little People]]'' [3.28] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The time is the space age. The place is a barren landscape of a rock-walled canyon that lies millions of miles from the planet Earth. The cast of characters, you've met them: William Fletcher, commander of the spaceship, his co-pilot Peter Craig. The other characters who inhabit this place, you may never see, but they're there, as these two gentlemen will soon find out because they're about to partake in a little exploration into that gray, shaded area in space and time that's known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The case of navigator Peter Craig, a victim of a delusion. In this case, the dream dies a little harder than the man. A small exercise in space psychology that you can try on for size in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Four O'Clock|Four O'Clock]]'' [3.29] ===

:'''Oliver Crangle''': Four o' clock, Pete. That's when we'll make it occur. We'll make it occur at four o'clock. At that moment, at that precise moment, we shall...destroy evil. This is both my charge and my obligation, Pete: to destroy evil. And we shall do it at four o'clock. I'm not quite sure of the method yet, but that will come to me. It will come to me assuredly and it will be...a revelation. It will be the exploration of immorality, the exordium of the end. Four o'clock, Pete. That's when we'll make it happen, Pete, whatever form I choose. Four o'clock.
:'''Rod Serling''': That's Oliver Crangle, a dealer in petulance and poison. He's rather arbitrarily chosen four o'clock as his personal Gotterdammerung, and we are about to watch the metamorphosis of a twisted fanatic, poisoned by the gangrene of prejudice, to the status of avenging angel, upright and omniscient, dedicated and fearsome. Whatever your clocks say, it's four o'clock - and wherever you are, it happens to be the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': At four o'clock, an evil man made his bed and lay in it, a pot called a kettle black, a stone-thrower broke the windows of his glass house. You look for this one under 'F' for fanatic and 'J' for justice - in The Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Hocus-Pocus and Frisby (The Twilight Zone)|Hocus-Pocus and Frisby]]'' [3.30] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The reluctant gentleman with the sizeable mouth is Mr. Frisby. He has all the drive of a broken camshaft and the aggressive vinegar of a corpse. As you've no doubt gathered, his big stock in trade is the tall tale. Now, what he doesn't know is that the visitors out front are a very special breed, destined to change his life beyond anything even his fertile imagination could manufacture. The place is Pitchville Flats, the time is the present. But Mr. Frisby's on the first leg of a rather fanciful journey into the place we call the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Somerset Frisby, who might have profited by reading an Aesop fable about a boy who cried wolf. Tonight's tall tale from the timberlands--of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Trade-Ins (The Twilight Zone)|The Trade-Ins]]'' [3.31] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. and Mrs. John Holt, aging people who slowly and with trembling fingers turn the last pages of a book of life and hope against logic and the preordained that some magic printing press will add to this book another limited edition. But these two senior citizens happen to live in a time of the future where nothing is impossible, even the trading of old bodies for new. Mr. and Mrs. John Holt, in their twilight years--who are about to find that there happens to be a zone with the same name.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': From [[Kahlil Gibran]]'s ''The Prophet'': &quot;Love gives not but itself and takes not from itself, love possesses not nor would it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.&quot; Not a lesson, just a reminder, from all the sentimentalists in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Gift (The Twilight Zone)|The Gift]]'' [3.32] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The place is Mexico, just across the Texas border, a mountain village held back in time by its remoteness and suddenly intruded upon by the twentieth century. And this is Pedro, nine years old, a lonely, rootless little boy, who will soon make the acquaintance of a traveller from a distant place. We are at present forty miles from the Rio Grande, but any place and all places can be--the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Madiero, Mexico, the present. The subject: fear. The cure: a little more faith. An Rx off a shelf--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Dummy (The Twilight Zone)|The Dummy]]'' [3.33] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're watching a ventriloquist named Jerry Etherson, a voice thrower par excellence. His alter ego, sitting atop his lap, is a brash stick of kindling with the sobriquet 'Willie'. In a moment, Mr. Etherson and his knotty-pine partner will be booked in one of the out-of-the-way bistros, that small, dark, intimate place known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': What's known in the parlance of the times as the old switcheroo, from boss to blockhead in a few uneasy lessons. And if you're given to nightclubbing on occasion, check this act. It's called Willie and Jerry, and they generally are booked into some of the clubs along the 'Gray Night Way' known as the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Young Man's Fancy (The Twilight Zone)|Young Man's Fancy]]'' [3.34] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You're looking at the house of the late Mrs. Henrietta Walker. This is Mrs. Walker herself, as she appeared twenty-five years ago. And this, except for isolated objects, is the living room of Mrs. Walker's house, as it appeared in that same year. The other rooms upstairs and down are pretty much the same. The time, however, is not twenty-five years ago but now. The house of the late Mrs. Henrietta Walker is, you see, a house which belongs almost entirely to the past, a house which, like Mrs. Walker's clock here, has ceased to recognize the passage of time. Only one element is missing now, one remaining item in the estate of the late Mrs. Walker: her son Alex, thirty-four years of age and, up till twenty minutes ago, the so-called 'perennial bachelor.' With him is his bride, the former Miss Virginia Lane. They're returning from the city hall in order to get Mr. Walker's clothes packed, make final arrangements for the sale of the house, lock it up and depart on their honeymoon. Not a complicated set of tasks, it would appear, and yet the newlywed Mrs. Walker is about to discover that the old adage 'You can't go home again' has little meaning in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit Miss Virginia Lane, formerly and most briefly Mrs. Alex Walker. She has just given up a battle and in a strange way retreated, but this has been a retreat back to reality. Her opponent, Alex Walker, will now and forever hold a line that exists in the past. He has put a claim on a moment in time and is not about to relinquish it. Such things do happen--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:I Sing the Body Electric (The Twilight Zone)|I Sing the Body Electric]]'' [3.35] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': They make a fairly convincing pitch here. It doesn't seem possible, though, to find a woman who must be ten times better than mother in order to seem half as good, except, of course, in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': As of this moment, the wonderful electric grandmother moved into the lives of children and father. She became integral and important, she became the essence. As of this moment, they would never see lightning, never hear poetry read, never listen to foreign tongues without thinking of her. Everything they would ever see, hear, taste, feel would remind them of her. She was all life and all life was wondrous, quick, electrical - like Grandma.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A fable? Most assuredly. But who's to say at some distant moment there might be an assembly line producing a gentle product in the form of a grandmother whose stock in trade is love? Fable, sure, but who's to say?

=== ''[[w:Cavender Is Coming|Cavender Is Coming]]'' [3.36] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Small message of reassurance to that horizontal young lady: Don't despair. Help is en route. It's coming in an odd form from a very distant place, but it's nonetheless coming. ''[narration continues after Cavender is assigned as Agnes' guardian angel]'' Submitted for your approval: the case of one Miss Agnes Grep, put on Earth with two left feet, an overabundance of thumbs and a propensity for falling down manholes. In a moment she will be up to her jaw in miracles, wrought by apprentice angel Harmon Cavender, intent on winning his wings. And, though, it's a fact that both of them should have stood in bed, they will tempt all the fates by moving into the cold, gray dawn of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A word to the wise now to any and all who might suddenly feel the presence of a cigar-smoking helpmate who takes bankbooks out of thin air. If you're suddenly aware of any such celestial aids, it means that you're under the beneficent care of one Harmon Cavender, guardian angel. And this message from the Twilight Zone: lotsa luck!

=== ''[[w:The Changing of the Guard (The Twilight Zone)|The Changing of the Guard]]'' [3.37] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Professor Ellis Fowler, a gentle, bookish guide to the young, who is about to discover that life still has certain surprises, and that the campus of the Rock Springs School for Boys lies on a direct path to another institution, commonly referred to as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Professor Ellis Fowler, teacher, who discovered rather belatedly something of his own value. A very small scholastic lesson, from the campus of the Twilight Zone.

== Season 4 ==
&lt;small&gt;Note: This season's episodes were an hour in length.&lt;/small&gt;
=== ''[[w:In His Image|In His Image]]'' [4.1] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': What you have just witnessed could be the end of a particularly terrifying nightmare. It isn't - it's the beginning. Although Alan Talbot doesn't know it, he is about to enter a strange new world, too incredible to be real, too real to be a dream. It's called the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': In a way, it can be said that Walter Ryder succeeded in his life's ambition, even though the man he created was, after all, himself. There may be easier ways to self-improvement, but sometimes it happens that the shortest distance between two points is a crooked line - through the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Thirty-Fathom Grave|The Thirty-Fathom Grave]]'' [4.2] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Incident one hundred miles off the coast of Guadalacanal. Time: the present. The United States naval destroyer on what has been a most uneventful cruise. In a moment, they're going to send a man down thirty fathoms and check on a noise maker--someone or something tapping on metal. You may or may not read the results in a naval report, because Captain Beecham and his crew have just set a course that will lead this ship and everyone on it into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Small naval engagement, the month of April, 1963. Not to be found in any historical annals. Look for this one filed under 'H' for haunting--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Valley of the Shadow|Valley of the Shadow]]'' [4.3] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You've seen them. Little towns, tucked away far from the main roads. You've seen them, but have you thought about them? What do the people in these places do? Why do they stay? Philip Redfield never thought about them. If his dog hadn't gone after that cat, he would have driven through Peaceful Valley and put it out of his mind forever. But he can't do that now, because whether he knows it or not, his friend's shortcut has led him right into the capital of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': You've seen them. Little towns, tucked away far from the main roads. You've seen them, but have you thought about them? Have you wondered what the people do in such places, why they stay? Philip Redfield thinks about them now and he wonders, but only very late at night, when he's between wakefulness and sleep--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:He's Alive|He's Alive]]'' [4.4] ===
[[Image:Stars &amp; Stripes &amp; Hitler Dead2.jpg|thumb|right|Anyplace, everyplace, where there's hate, where there's prejudice, where there's bigotry. He's alive. He's alive so long as these evils exist. Remember that when he comes to ''your'' town. Remember it when you hear his voice speaking out through others. Remember it when you hear a name called, a minority attacked, any blind, unreasoning assault on a people or any human being. He's alive because through these things we keep him alive.]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a bush-league [[w:Führer|Führer]] named Peter Vollmer, a sparse little man who feeds off his self-delusions and finds himself perpetually hungry for want of greatness in his diet. And like some goose-stepping predecessors he searches for something to explain his hunger, and to rationalize why a world passes him by without saluting. The something he looks for and finds is in a sewer. In his own twisted and distorted lexicon he calls it faith, strength, truth. But in just a moment Peter Vollmer will ply his trade on another kind of corner, a strange intersection in a shadowland called the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Benefactor''': He attacked you, Mr. Vollmer! He tore you to pieces! Your voice is that of a lion, but your instincts are those of a rabbit!
:'''Peter Vollmer''': And you...What are you? You direct traffic from the darkness! You plan the battles but you're never there when they're fought! Why don't you come into the light? Why don't you step out here alongside of me? Why don't you give me a name, and a face, and a reason WHY!?
:'''Benefactor''': Mr. Vollmer! I was making speeches before you could read them! I was fighting battles when your only struggle was to climb out of a womb! I was taking over the world when your universe was a crib! And as for being in darkness, Mr. Vollmer...I ''invented'' darkness! ''[steps into the light, revealing that he is Adolf Hitler]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peter''': You… you picked me! You picked me!
:'''Hitler''': I did not pick you, Mr. Vollmer; you picked me! You chose my ideas, you invoked my name, you stole my slogans. So now, you must take whatever else comes with it. In the past, I have given you suggestions! Now, I give orders!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Peter has just executed Ernst]''
:'''Hitler''': What did you kill just now? A man? 
:'''Peter Vollmer''': No, not a man. A disease, one which had to be cured.
:'''Hitler''': Indeed. And so, how did it feel to cure this disease? 
:'''Peter Vollmer''': It felt like I was ''immortal''.
:'''Hitler''': Mr. Vollmer!! WE ''ARE'' IMMORTAL!! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Rod Serling''': Where will he go next, this phantom from another time, this resurrected ghost of a previous nightmare— Chicago; Los Angeles; Miami, Florida; Vincennes, Indiana; Syracuse, New York? Anyplace, everyplace, where there's hate, where there's prejudice, where there's bigotry. He's alive. He's alive so long as these evils exist. Remember that when he comes to ''your'' town. Remember it when you hear his voice speaking out through others. Remember it when you hear a name called, a minority attacked, any blind, unreasoning assault on a people or any human being. He's alive because through these things we keep him alive.

=== ''[[w:Mute (The Twilight Zone)|Mute]]'' [4.5] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': What you're witnessing is the curtain-raiser to a most extraordinary play; to wit, the signing of a pact, the commencement of a project. The play itself will be performed almost entirely offstage. The final scenes are to be enacted a decade hence with a different cast. The main character of these final scenes is Ilse, the daughter of Professor and Mrs. Nielsen, age two. At the moment she lies sleeping in her crib, unaware of the singular drama in which she is to be involved. Ten years from this moment, Ilse Nielsen is to know the desolating terror of living simultaneously in the world--and in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Miss Frank''': ''[about Ilse]'' In many ways, the fire was the blessing of her life.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frau Werner''': She's going to be all right, for now she is loved.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': It has been noted in a book of proven wisdom that perfect love casteth out fear. While it's unlikely that this observation was meant to include that specific fear which follows the loss of extrasensory perception, the principle remains, as always, beautifully intact. Case in point, that of Ilse Nielsen, former resident of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Death Ship (The Twilight Zone)|Death Ship]]'' [4.6] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of the spaceship E-89, cruising above the thirteenth planet of star system fifty-one, the year 1997. In a little while, supposedly, the ship will be landed and specimens taken: vegetable, mineral and, if any, animal. These will be brought back to overpopulated Earth, where technicians will evaluate them and, if everything is satisfactory, stamp their findings with the word &quot;habitable&quot; and open up yet another planet for colonization. These are the things that are ''supposed'' to happen.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of the crew of the spaceship E-89: Captain Ross, Lieutenant Mason, Lieutenant Carter. Three men who have just reached a place which is as far from home as they will ever be. Three men who, in a matter of minutes, will be plunged into the darkest nightmare reaches of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of a man who will not see anything he does not choose to see--including his own death. A man of such indomitable will that even the two men beneath his command are not allowed to see the truth; which truth is, that they are no longer among the living, that the movements they make and the words they speak have all been made and spoken countless times before--and will be made and spoken countless times again, perhaps even unto eternity. Picture of a latter-day ''Flying Dutchman'', sailing into the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Jess-Belle|Jess-Belle]]'' [4.7] ===
[[File:James Best Laura Devon Anne Francis Twilight Zone Jess Belle.JPG|thumb|[[w:James Best|James Best]], [[w:Laura Devon|Laura Devon]] and [[w:Anne Francis|Anne Francis]] from the episode &quot;Jess-Belle&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': The Twilight Zone has existed in many lands, in many times. It has its roots in history, in something that happened long, long ago and got told about and handed down from one generation of folk to the other. In the telling the story gets added to and embroidered on, so that what might have happened in the time of the Druids is told as if it took place yesterday in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Such stories are best told by an elderly grandfather on a cold winter's night by the fireside--in the southern hills of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ossie Stone''': What did you pay her with?
:'''Jess-Belle Stone''': My flesh and blood... my soul... my brain... my dreams... my hands.

=== ''[[w:Miniature (The Twilight Zone)|Miniature]]'' [4.8]===

:'''Rod Serling''': To the average person, a museum is a place of knowledge, a place of beauty and truth and wonder. Some people come to study, others to contemplate, others to look for the sheer joy of looking. Charley Parkes has his own reasons. He comes to the museum to get away from the world. It isn't really the sixty-cent cafeteria meal that has drawn him here every day. It's the fact that here in these strange, cool halls, he can be alone for a little while, really and truly alone. Anyway, that's how it was before he got lost, and wandered into the Twilight Zone. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs. Parkes''': ''[after his return from the mental institution]'' Did they hurt you, Charley?
:'''Charley''': Well, I heard they were gonna use shock therapy, and I hear that hurts quite a bit, but they decided not to when I got well.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': They never found Charley Parkes, because the guard didn't tell them what he saw in the glass case. He knew what they'd say, and he knew they'd be right too, because seeing is not always believing. Especially if what you see happens to be an odd corner of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Printer's Devil|Printer's Devil]] '' [4.9] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Take away a man's dream, fill him with whiskey and despair, send him to a lonely bridge, let him stand there all by himself looking down at the black water, and try to imagine the thoughts that are in his mind. You can't, I can't. But there's someone who can - and that someone is seated next to Douglas Winter right now. The car is headed back toward town, but its real destination is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit the infernal machine, and with it his satanic majesty, Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, otherwise known as Mr. Smith. He's gone, but not for good. That wouldn't be like him. He's gone for bad. And he might be back, with another ticket to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:No Time Like the Past|No Time Like the Past]]'' [4.10] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Exit one Paul Driscoll, a creature of the twentieth century. He puts to a test a complicated theorum of space-time continuum, but he goes a step further--or tries to. Shortly, he will seek out three moments of the past in a desperate attempt to alter the present--one of the odd and fanciful functions in a shadowland known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hanford''': ''[at dinner]'' ...So what are your world views, Driscoll?
:'''Paul''': I don't have any, Mr. Hanford.
:'''Hanford''': Of course you do, man. We ALL do! Like all this nonsense about giving the Indians land. What we need are twenty General Custers and a hundred thousand men! What we should have done is swept across the prairie, destroying every redskin that stood before us. And then we should have planted the American flag deep, high, and proud!
:'''Abigail''': I think the country is tired of fighting, Mr. Hanford. I think we were bled dry by the Indian Wars. I think anything we can accomplish peacefully, with treaties, we should...so long as it saves lives.
:'''Hanford''': Now, I trust this isn't the path you spoon-feed your students. Treaties, indeed! Peace, indeed! Why, the virility of a nation is in direct proportion to its military prowess. I ''live'' for the day when this country SWEEPS AWAY...
:''[notices Driscoll's disapproving look]''
:'''Hanford''': You some kind of a pacifist, Driscoll?
:'''Paul''': No, just some sick idiot who's seen too many boys die because of too many men who fight their battles at dining room tables...and who probably wouldn't last so long as forty-five seconds in a REAL skirmish, if they WERE thrust into it.
:'''Hanford''': I take offense at that remark, Mr. Driscoll!
:'''Paul''': And ''I'' take offense at ''armchair warriors'' like yourself - who clearly don't know what a shrapnel, or a bullet, or a saber wound feels like...who've never smelled death after three days on a sun-drenched battlefield...who've never seen the look on a man's face when he realizes he's lost a limb or two, and his blood is seeping out. Mr. Hanford, you have a great affinity for planting flags deep, high, and proud. But you don't have a nodding acquaintance with what it's like for families to bury their sons in the same soil!
:'''Hanford''': I'll not sit here and take talk like ''that''!
:'''Paul''': Of course you won't. You'll return to your bank, and it'll be business as usual until dinner tomorrow night...when you'll deliver another of your tirades about building up nations founded on ever-growing cemeteries. Well, if ''this'' nation shares your views - as I dread it just might - then you're in for some gratifying times, Mr. Hanford. There'll be many graveyards to fill, both American and foreign, because this country will get virile as the devil. We'll show how red our blood is, because we'll spill it. And we'll show how red our fellow nations' blood is because we'll spill that, too. Not that you yourself will need to spill any; in all likelihood, you won't even be there to see what I speak of come to pass. I'm sure you pity yourself for that aspect; I, on the other hand, envy you for it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Incident on a July afternoon, 1881. A man named Driscoll who came and went and, in the process, learned a simple lesson, perhaps best said by a poet named Lathbury, who wrote, 'Children of yesterday, heirs of tomorrow, what are you wearing? Labor and sorrow? Look to your looms again, faster and faster fly the great shuttles prepared by the master. Life's in the loom, room for it--room!' Tonight's tale of clocks and calendars--in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Parallel|The Parallel]]'' [4.11] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': In the vernacular of space, this is T minus one hour, sixty minutes before a human being named Major Robert Gaines is lifted off from the Mother Earth and rocketed into the sky, farther and longer than any man ahead of him. Call this one of the first faltering steps of man to sever the umbilical cord of gravity and stretch out a fingertip toward an unknown. In a moment, we'll join this astronaut named Gaines and embark on an adventure, because the environs overhead - the stars, the sky, the infinite space - are all part of a vast question mark known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Major Robert Gaines, a latter-day voyager just returned from an adventure. Submitted to you without any recommendation as to belief or disbelief. You can accept or reject; you pays your money and you takes your choice. But credulous or incredulous, don't bother to ask anyone for proof that it could happen. The obligation is a reverse challenge: prove that it couldn't. This happens to be... the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:I Dream of Genie (The Twilight Zone)|I Dream of Genie]]'' [4.12] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Meet Mr. George P. Hanley, a man life treats without deference, honor or success. Waiters serve his soup cold. Elevator operators close doors in his face. Mothers never bother to wait up for the daughters he dates. George is a creature of humble habits and tame dreams. He's an ordinary man, Mr. Hanley, but at this moment the accidental possessor of a very special gift, the kind of gift that measures men against their dreams, the kind of gift most of us might ask for first and possibly regret to the last, if we, like Mr. George P. Hanley, were about to plunge head-first and unaware into our own personal Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. George P. Hanley. Former vocation: jerk. Present vocation: genie. George P. Hanley, a most ordinary man whom life treated without deference, honor or success, but a man wise enough to decide on a most extraordinary wish that makes him the contented, permanent master of his own altruistic Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The New Exhibit|The New Exhibit]]'' [4.13] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Martin Lombard Senescu, a gentle man, the dedicated curator of murderers' row in Ferguson's Wax Museum. He ponders the reasons why ordinary men are driven to commit mass murder. What Mr. Senescu does not know is that the groundwork has already been laid for his own special kind of madness and torment found only in the Twilight Zone.	

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The new exhibit became very popular at Marchand's, but of all the figures none was ever regarded with more dread than that of Martin Lombard Senescu. It was something about the eyes, people said. It's the look that one often gets after taking a quick walk through the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Of Late I Think of Cliffordville|Of Late I Think of Cliffordville]]'' [4.14] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Witness a murder. The killer is Mr. William Feathersmith, a robber baron whose body composition is made up of a refrigeration plant covered by thick skin. In a moment Mr. Feathersmith will proceed on his daily course of conquest and calumny with yet another business dealing. But this one will be one of those bizarre transactions that take place in an odd marketplace known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Feathersmith''': Something that'll turn this two-bit tool shed into a factory: a self-starter. What do you mean, enlarge on it? It's a thing you press with your foot that starts an engine with an electric motor. What is it used for...!? It's used to make $200 million, that's what it's used for...!! Listen, are you all there!!? It's a storage battery, a motor, and a do-hickey that starts the motor! I've given you the principle; now all you have to do is build it...! Now look, I am not a crummy draftsman or a two-bit blueprint boy; I am a promoter, a financier. I'm gonna give you the backing; I've already given you the principle; so all you have to do is build it...!! There's everything under the sun, and you sit around fixing tricycle pedals! There's radio, aluminum, airplanes... You foggy-headed carriage builders! We could have made ourselves $48 billion dollars!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Feathersmith''': ...It seems like only yesterday that you called me into your office and said, &quot;Bill Feathersmith. I like your style, boy. I want you in with me.&quot; You remember that day?
:'''Diedrich''': I've cursed myself for it ever since. I've found you to be - from the moment I made you a junior partner, increasingly as the years have gone by, even by the cutthroat standards of our mutual trade - a predatory, conniving, grasping, acquisitive animal of a man...Without heart, without conscience, without compassion, without even a subtle hint of the common decencies. Shall we continue from there?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. William J. Feathersmith, tycoon, who tried the track one more time and found it muddier than he remembered, proving with at least a degree of conclusiveness that nice guys don't always finish last, and some people should quit when they're ahead. Tonight's tale of iron men and irony, delivered F.O.B. from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Incredible World of Horace Ford|The Incredible World of Horace Ford]]'' [4.15] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Horace Ford, who has a preoccupation with another time, a time of childhood, a time of growing up, a time of street games, stickball and hide-'n-go-seek. He has a reluctance to check out a mirror and see the nature of his image: proof positive that the time he dwells in has already passed him by. But in a moment or two he'll discover that mechanical toys and memories and daydreaming and wishful thinking and all manner of odd and special events can lead one into a special province, uncharted and unmapped, a country of both shadow and substance known as the Twilight Zone.	

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit Mr. and Mrs. Horace Ford, who have lived through a bizarre moment not to be calibrated on normal clocks or watches. Time has passed, to be sure, but it's the special time in the special place known as the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:On Thursday We Leave for Home|On Thursday We Leave for Home]]'' [4.16] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is William Benteen, who officiates on a disintegrating outpost in space. The people are a remnant society who left the Earth looking for a Millennium, a place without war, without jeopardy, without fear--and what they found was a lonely, barren place whose only industry was survival. And this is what they've done for three decades: survive; until the memory of the Earth they came from has become an indistinct and shadowed recollection of another time and another place. One month ago a signal from Earth announced that a ship would be coming to pick them up and take them home. In just a moment we'll hear more of that ship, more of that home, and what it takes out of mind and body to reach it. This is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al''': Isn't living tough enough here we shouldn't have to go by the book? Isn't it hot enough and miserable enough there shouldn't be rules? We shouldn't have to suffer by the numbers? Will somebody please make the simple comment there's more happiness going into that grave? More peace of mind than all the mourners put together. Nothing but anguish here. Captain Benteen, let us live with it our own way. Or let us die from it - in our own way!
:'''Captain Benteen''': ''[addressing the crowd]'' Young Mr. Baines would have us lie down in the sun. Young Mr. Baines would have us give in to death, while there is still life. He'd end the rules. Throw away the regulations. No more standing in line for water. We'll let the strong take away from the weak. And no more food rationing. Let the young steal from the old. And when that ship does arrive, it won't find a society. Just a pack. Not one human being left alive. Only animals.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': William Benteen, who had prerogatives: he could lead, he could direct, dictate, judge, legislate. It became a habit, then a pattern and finally a necessity. William Benteen, once a god, now a population of one.

=== ''[[w:Passage on the Lady Anne|Passage on the Lady Anne]]'' [4.17] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a honeymoon couple getting ready for a journey – with a difference. These newlyweds have been married for six years, and they're not taking this honeymoon to start their life but rather to save it, or so Eileen Ransome thinks. She doesn't know why she insisted on a ship for this voyage, except that it would give them some time and she'd never been on one before – certainly never one like the Lady Anne. The tickets read 'New York to Southampton,' but this old liner is going somewhere else. Its destination – the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Millie McKenzie''': Love has its own particular point of view. It sees everything larger than life. Nothing is too ornate, too fanciful, too dramatic. Love demands the theatrical, and then transfigures it. It turns the grotesque into the lovely, as a child does. With it, we can see what we wish to see in other people. Without it, we can't see anything at all. We can search forever, and never find.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The Lady Anne never reached port. After they were picked up by a cutter a few hours later, as Captain Protheroe had promised, the Ransomes searched the newspapers for news - but there wasn't any news. The Lady Anne with all her crew and all her passengers vanished without a trace. But the Ransomes knew what had happened. They knew that the ship had sailed off to a better port - a place called The Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Bard (The Twilight Zone)|The Bard]]'' [4.18] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': You've just witnessed opportunity, if not knocking, at least scratching plaintively on a closed door. Mr. Julius Moomer, a would-be writer who, if talent came twenty-five cents a pound, would be worth less than car fare. But, in a moment, Mr. Moomer, through the offices of some black magic, is about to embark on a brand-new career. And although he may never get a writing credit on the Twilight Zone, he's to become an integral character in it. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Julius Moomer, a streetcar conductor with delusions of authorship. And if the tale just told seems a little tall, remember a thing called poetic license, and another thing called the Twilight Zone.

== Season 5 ==
=== ''[[w:In Praise of Pip|In Praise of Pip]]'' [5.1] ===
[[File:Jack Klugman Twilight Zone 1963.jpg|thumb|[[w:Jack Klugman|Jack Klugman]] in the episode &quot;In Praise of Pip&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': Submitted for your approval, one Max Phillips, a slightly-the-worse-for wear maker of book, whose life has been as drab and undistinguished as a bundle of dirty clothes. And, though it's very late in his day, he has an errant wish that the rest of his life might be sent out to a laundry to come back shiny and clean, this to be a gift of love to a son named Pip. Mr. Max Phillips, Homo sapiens, who is soon to discover that man is not as wise as he thinks - said lesson to be learned in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Very little comment here, save for this small aside: that the ties of flesh are deep and strong, that the capacity to love is a vital, rich and all-consuming function of the human animal, and that you can find nobility and sacrifice and love wherever you may seek it out: down the block, in the heart, or in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Steel (The Twilight Zone)|Steel]]'' [5.2] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Sports item, circa 1974: Battling Maxo, B2, heavyweight, accompanied by his manager and handler, arrives in Maynard, Kansas, for a scheduled six-round bout. Battling Maxo is a robot, or, to be exact, an android, definition: 'an automaton resembling a human being.' Only these automatons have been permitted in the ring since prizefighting was legally abolished in 1968. This is the story of that scheduled six-round bout, more specifically the story of two men shortly to face that remorseless truth: that no law can be passed which will abolish cruelty or desperate need - nor, for that matter, blind animal courage. Location for the facing of said truth, a small, smoke-filled arena just this side of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a losing side, proof positive that you can't outpunch machinery. Proof also of something else: that no matter what the future brings, man's capacity to rise to the occasion will remain unaltered. His potential for tenacity and optimism continues, as always, to outfight, outpoint, and outlive any and all changes by his society, for which three cheers and a unanimous decision rendered from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (The Twilight Zone)|Nightmare at 20,000 Feet]]'' [5.3] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a frightened man: Mr. Robert Wilson, thirty-seven, husband, father, and salesman on sick leave. Mr. Wilson has just been discharged from a sanitarium where he spent the last six months recovering from a nervous breakdown, the onset of which took place on an evening not dissimilar to this one, on an airliner very much like the one in which Mr. Wilson is about to be flown home—the difference being that, on that evening half a year ago, Mr. Wilson's flight was terminated by the onslaught of his mental breakdown. Tonight, he's traveling all the way to his appointed destination, which, contrary to Mr. Wilson's plan, happens to be in the darkest corner of the Twilight Zone.	

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Julia Wilson''': It's alright now, darling.
:'''Robert Wilson''': I know. But I'm the only one who does know...right now.
:'''Rod Serling''': The flight of Mr. Wilson has ended now, a flight not only from point A to point B, but also from the fear of recurring mental breakdown. Mr. Wilson has that fear no longer, though, for the moment, he is, as he said, alone in this assurance. Happily, his conviction will not remain isolated too much longer, for happily, tangible manifestation is very often left as evidence of trespass, even from so intangible a quarter as the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Kind of a Stopwatch|A Kind of a Stopwatch]]'' [5.4] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Submitted for your approval or at least your analysis: one Patrick Thomas McNulty, who, at age forty-one, is the biggest bore on Earth. He holds a ten-year record for the most meaningless words spewed out during a coffee break. And it's very likely that, as of this moment, he would have gone through life in precisely this manner, a dull, argumentative bigmouth who sets back the art of conversation a thousand years. I say very likely would have except for something that will soon happen to him, something that will considerably alter his existence - and ours. Now you think about that now, because this is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Patrick Thomas McNulty, who had a gift of time. He used it and he misused it, now he's just been handed the bill. Tonight's tale of motion and McNulty - in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Last Night of a Jockey|The Last Night of a Jockey]]'' [5.5] ===
[[File:Mickey Rooney The Twilight Zone 1963.JPG|thumb|[[w:Mickey Rooney|Mickey Rooney]] in the episode &quot;The Last Night of a Jockey&quot;]]

:'''Rod Serling''': The name is Grady, five feet short in stockings and boots, a slightly distorted offshoot of a good breed of humans who race horses. He happens to be one of the rotten apples, bruised and yellowed by dealing in dirt, a short man with a short memory who's forgotten that he's worked for the sport of kings and helped turn it into a cesspool, used and misused by the two-legged animals who've hung around sporting events since the days of the Coliseum. So this is Grady, on his last night as a jockey. Behind him are Hialeah, Hollywood Park and Saratoga. Rounding the far turn and coming up fast on the rail - is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The name is Grady, ten feet tall, a slightly distorted offshoot of a good breed of humans who race horses. Unfortunately for Mr. Grady, he learned too late that you don't measure size with a ruler, you don't figure height with a yardstick, and you never judge a man by how tall he looks in a mirror. The giant is as he does. You can make a parimutuel bet on this, win, place, or show, in or out of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Living Doll (The Twilight Zone)|Living Doll]]'' [5.6] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Talky Tina, the doll that does everything. A lifelike creation of plastic and springs and painted smile. To Erich Streator, she is the most unwelcome addition to his household—but without her, he'd never enter the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Talky Tina''': My name is Talky Tina and I'm going to kill you.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Of course, we all know dolls can't really talk, and they certainly can't commit murder. But to a child caught in the middle of turmoil and conflict, a doll can become many things: friend, defender, guardian. Especially a doll like Talky Tina who did talk and did commit murder, in the misty region of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Old Man in the Cave|The Old Man in the Cave]]'' [5.7] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': What you're looking at is a legacy that man left to himself. A decade previous, he pushed his buttons and, a nightmarish moment later, woke up to find that he had set the clock back a thousand years. His engines, his medicines, his science were buried in a mass tomb, covered over by the biggest gravedigger of them all: a Bomb. And this is the Earth ten years later, a fragment of what was once a whole, a remnant of what was once a race. The year is 1974, and this is the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Goldsmith, survivor, an eye witness to man's imperfection, an observer of the very human trait of greed, and a chronicler of the last chapter - the one reading 'suicide.' Not a prediction of what is to be, just a projection of what could be. This has been the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Uncle Simon|Uncle Simon]]'' [5.8] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Dramatis personae: Mr. Simon Polk, a gentleman who has lived out his life in a gleeful rage. And the young lady who's just beat the hasty retreat is Mr. Polk's niece, Barbara. She's lived her life as if during each ensuing hour, she had a dentist appointment. There's yet a third member of the company soon to be seen. He now resides in the laboratory and he is the kind of character to be found only in the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Dramatis personae: a metal man, who will go by the name of Simon, whose life as well as his body has been stamped out for him; and the woman who tends to him, the lady Barbara, who's discovered belatedly that all bad things don't come to an end, and that once a bed is made, it's quite necessary that you sleep in it. Tonight's uncomfortable little exercise in avarice and automatons - from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Probe 7, Over and Out|Probe 7, Over and Out]]'' [5.9] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': One Colonel Cook, a traveler in space. He's landed on a remote planet several million miles from his point of departure. He can make an inventory of his plight by just one 360-degree movement of head and eyes. Colonel Cook has been set adrift in an ocean of space in a metal lifeboat that has been scorched and destroyed and will never fly again. He survived the crash but his ordeal is yet to begin. Now he must give battle to loneliness. Now Colonel Cook must meet the unknown. It's a small planet set deep in space. But for Colonel Cook, it's the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Do you know these people? Names familiar, are they? They lived a long time ago. Perhaps they're part fable, perhaps they're part fantasy. And perhaps the place they're walking to now is not really called 'Eden.' We offer it only as a presumption. This has been the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The 7th Is Made Up of Phantoms|The 7th Is Made Up of Phantoms]]'' [5.10] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': June 25, 1964 - or, if you prefer, June 25, 1876. The cast of characters in order of their appearance: a patrol of General Custer's cavalry and a patrol of National Guardsmen on a maneuver. Past and present are about to collide head-on, as they are wont to do in a very special bivouac area known as... the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Sergeant William Connors, Trooper Michael McCluskey, and Trooper Richard Langsford, who, on a hot afternoon in June, made a charge over a hill — and never returned. Look for this one under 'P' for phantom, in a historical ledger located in a reading room known as the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain|A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain]]'' [5.11] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Picture of an aging man who leads his life, as [[Henry David Thoreau|Thoreau]] said, 'in a quiet desperation.' Because Harmon Gordon is enslaved by a love affair with a wife forty years his junior. Because of this, he runs when he should walk. He surrenders when simple pride dictates a stand. He pines away for the lost morning of his life when he should be enjoying the evening. In short, Mr. Harmon Gordon seeks a fountain of youth, and who's to say he won't find it? This happens to be the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Raymond Gordon''': Well, you see, Flora? As you get older, see how wise you get?
:'''Rod Serling''': It happens to be a fact: as one gets older, one does get wiser. If you don't believe it, ask Flora. Ask her any day of the ensuing weeks of her life, as she takes notes during the coming years and realizes that the worm has turned - youth has taken over. It's simply the way the calendar crumbles... in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Ninety Years Without Slumbering|Ninety Years Without Slumbering]]'' [5.12] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Each man measures his time; some with hope, some with joy, some with fear. But Sam Forstmann measures his allotted time with a grandfather's clock, a unique mechanism whose pendulum swings between life and death, a very special clock that keeps a special kind of time - in the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': Clocks are made by men, God creates time. No man can prolong his allotted hours, he can only live them to the fullest - in this world or in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Ring-a-Ding Girl|Ring-a-Ding Girl]]'' [5.13] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Introduction to Bunny Blake. Occupation: film actress. Residence: Hollywood, California, or anywhere in the world that cameras happen to be grinding. Bunny Blake is a public figure; what she wears, eats, thinks, says is news. But underneath the glamour, the makeup, the publicity, the build-up, the costuming, is a flesh-and-blood person, a beautiful girl about to take a long and bizarre journey into the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': We are all travelers. The trip starts in a place called birth - and ends in that lonely town called death. And that's the end of the journey, unless you happen to exist for a few hours, like Bunny Blake, in the misty regions of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:You Drive|You Drive]]'' [5.14] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a nervous man: Oliver Pope by name, office manager by profession. A man beset by life's problems: his job, his salary, the competition to get ahead. Obviously, Mr. Pope's mind is not on his driving. ''[narration continues after Pope hits the kid on the bicycle]'' Oliver Pope, businessman-turned killer, on a rain-soaked street in the early evening of just another day during just another drive home from the office. The victim: a kid on a bicycle, lying injured, near death. But Mr. Pope hasn't time for the victim, his only concern is for himself. Oliver Pope, hit-and-run driver, just arrived at a crossroad in his life, and he's chosen the wrong turn. The hit occurred in the world he knows, but the run will lead him straight into - the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': All persons attempting to conceal criminal acts involving their cars are hereby warned: check first to see that underneath that chrome there does not lie a conscience, especially if you're driving along a rain-soaked highway in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Long Morrow|The Long Morrow]]'' [5.15] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': It may be said with a degree of assurance that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears. Case in point: the scene you're watching. This is not a hospital, not a morgue, not a mausoleum, not an undertaker's parlor of the future. What it is is the belly of a spaceship. It is en route to another planetary system an incredible distance from the Earth. This is the crux of our story, a flight into space. It is also the story of the things that might happen to human beings who take a step beyond, unable to anticipate everything that might await them out there. ''[narration continues after Stansfield is told his journey will take forty years]'' Commander Douglas Stansfield, astronaut, a man about to embark on one of history's longest journeys - forty years out into endless space and hopefully back again. This is the beginning, the first step towards man's longest leap into the unknown. Science has solved the mechanical details, and now it's up to one human being to breathe life into the blueprints and computers, to prove once and for all that man can live a lifetime in the total void of outer space, forty years alone in the unknown. This is Earth. Ahead lies a planetary system. The vast region in between is the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Commander Douglas Stansfield, one of the forgotten pioneers of the space age. He's been pushed aside by the flow of progress and the passage of years and the ferocious travesty of fate. Tonight's tale of the ionosphere and irony delivered from... the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross|The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross]]'' [5.16] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Confidential personnel file on Salvadore Ross. Personality: a volatile mixture of fury and frustration. Distinguishing physical characteristic: a badly-broken hand which will require emergency treatment at the nearest hospital. Ambition: shows great determination toward self-improvement. Estimate of potential success: a sure bet for a listing in Who's Who - in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The Salvadore Ross program for self-improvement. The all-in-one, sure-fire success course that lets you lick the bully, learn the language, dance the tango, and anything else you want to do- or think you want to do. Money-back guarantee. Offer limited to... the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Number 12 Looks Just Like You|Number 12 Looks Just Like You]]'' [5.17] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Given the chance, what young girl wouldn't happily exchange a plain face for a lovely one? What girl could refuse the opportunity to be beautiful? For want of a better estimate, let's call it the year 2000. At any rate, imagine a time in the future where science has developed the means of giving everyone the face and body he dreams of. It may not happen tomorrow, but it happens now in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marilyn Cuberle''': Being like everybody is the same as being nobody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a young lady in love - with herself. Improbable? Perhaps. But in an age of plastic surgery, bodybuilding and an infinity of cosmetics, let us hesitate to say impossible. These and other strange blessings may be waiting in the future, which, after all, is the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Black Leather Jackets|Black Leather Jackets]]'' [5.18] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Three strangers arrive in a small town, three men in black leather jackets in an empty rented house. We'll call them Steve, Scott, and Fred, but their names are not important; their mission is, as three men on motorcycles lead us into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of an American family on the eve of invasion from outer space. Of course, we know it's merely fiction - and yet, think twice when you drink your next glass of water. Find out if it's from your local reservoir, or possibly it came direct to you... from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Night Call|Night Call]]'' [5.19] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Miss Elva Keene lives alone on the outskirts of London Flats, a tiny rural community in Maine. Up until now, the pattern of Miss Keene's existence has been that of lying in her bed or sitting in her wheelchair, reading books, listening to a radio, eating, napping, taking medication - and waiting for something different to happen. Miss Keene doesn't know it yet, but her period of waiting has just ended, for something different is about to happen to her, has in fact already begun to happen, via two most unaccountable telephone calls in the middle of a stormy night, telephone calls routed directly through - the Twilight Zone.

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:'''Rod Serling''': According to the Bible, God created the heavens and the Earth. It is man's prerogative - and woman's - to create their own particular and private hell. Case in point, Miss Elva Keene, who in every sense has made her own bed and now must lie in it, sadder, but wiser, by dint of a rather painful lesson in responsibility, transmitted from the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:From Agnes—With Love|From Agnes—With Love]]'' [5.20] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': James Elwood, master programmer, in charge of Mark 502-741, commonly known as 'Agnes,' the world's most advanced electronic computer. Machines are made by men for man's benefit and progress, but when man ceases to control the products of his ingenuity and imagination, he not only risks losing the benefit, but he takes a long and unpredictable step into - the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Advice to all future male scientists: be sure you understand the opposite sex, especially if you intend being a computer expert. Otherwise, you may find yourself, like poor Elwood, defeated by a jealous machine, a most dangerous sort of female, whose victims are forever banished - to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Spur of the Moment (The Twilight Zone)|Spur of the Moment]]'' [5.21] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is the face of terror: Anne Marie Henderson, eighteen years of age, her young existence suddenly marred by a savage and wholly unanticipated pursuit by a strange, nightmarish figure of a woman in black, who has appeared as if from nowhere and now at driving gallop chases the terrified girl across the countryside, as if she means to ride her down and kill her - and then suddenly and inexplicably stops, to watch in malignant silence as her prey takes flight. Miss Henderson has no idea whatever as to the motive for this pursuit; worse, not the vaguest notion regarding the identity of her pursuer. Soon enough, she will be given the solution to this twofold mystery, but in a manner far beyond her present capacity to understand, a manner enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space - which is to say, an answer from the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': This is the face of terror: Anne Marie Mitchell, forty-three years of age, her desolate existence once more afflicted by the hope of altering her past mistake - a hope which is, unfortunately, doomed to disappointment. For warnings from the future to the past must be taken in the past; today may change tomorrow but once today is gone, tomorrow can only look back in sorrow that the warning was ignored. Said warning as of now stamped 'not accepted' and stored away in the dead file in the recording office of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (film)|An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge]]'' [5.22] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Tonight a presentation so special and unique that, for the first time in the five years we've been presenting ''The Twilight Zone'', we're offering a film shot in France by others. Winner of the [[w:Cannes Film Festival|Cannes Film Festival]] of 1962, as well as other international awards, here is a haunting study of the incredible, from the past master of the incredible, [[Ambrose Bierce]]. Here is the French production of &quot;An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge: in two forms, as it was dreamed... and as it was lived and died. This is the stuff of fantasy, the thread of imagination... the ingredients of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Queen of the Nile (The Twilight Zone)|Queen of the Nile]]'' [5.23] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Jordan Herrick, syndicated columnist, whose work appears in more than a hundred newspapers. By nature a cynic, a disbeliever, caught for the moment by a lovely vision. He knows the vision he's seen is no dream; she is Pamela Morris, renowned movie star, whose name is a household word and whose face is known to millions. What Mr. Herrick does not know is that he has also just looked into the face—of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Everybody knows Pamela Morris, the beautiful and eternally young movie star. Or does she have another name, even more famous, an Egyptian name from centuries past? It's best not to be too curious, lest you wind up like Jordan Herrick, a pile of dust and old clothing, discarded in the endless eternity of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:What's in the Box|What's in the Box]]'' [5.24] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Portrait of a TV fan. Name: Joe Britt. Occupation: cab driver. Tonight, Mr. Britt is going to watch 'a really big show,' something special for the cabbie who's seen everything. Joe Britt doesn't know it, but his flag is down and his meter's running and he's in high gear - on his way to the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The next time your TV set is on the blink, when you're in the need of a first-rate repairman, may we suggest our own specialist? Factory-trained, prompt, honest, twenty-four hour service. You won't find him in the phone book, but his office is conveniently located - in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Masks|The Masks]]'' [5.25] ===
:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Jason Foster, a tired ancient who on this particular Mardi Gras evening will leave the Earth. But before departing, he has some things to do, some services to perform, some debts to pay — and some justice to mete out. This is New Orleans, Mardi Gras time. It is also the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emily Harper''': Why must you say such cruel and miserable things to me?!
:'''Jason Foster''': Why indeed, Emily. Because you're cruel and miserable people. Because none of you ''respond'' to love. Emily responds only to what her petty hungers dictate, a prime example of this being her marriage to Wilfred... a marriage which broke her dear late mother's heart, in every sense! Wilfred responds only to things that have weight and bulk and value. He ''feels'' books, he doesn't read them. He ''appraises'' paintings, he doesn't seek out their truth or their beauty! And Paula there lives in a mirror. The world is nothing to her than a reflection of herself. And her brother. Humanity to him is a small animal caught in a trap to be tormented. His pleasure is the giving of pain, and from this, he receives the same sense of fulfillment most human beings get from a kiss or an embrace! You're caricatures. ''All'' of you. Without your masks, you're ''caricatures!'' ''(the clock strikes twelve)'' And now you're all very rich. Now you own everything that I have owned. You kept your bargain. You wore the masks. Enjoy yourselves, dear ones. I've lived a full life. May God pity you. ''(Jason goes limp)''
:'''Wilfred Harper Sr.''': He's dead! At long last, he's dead!
:'''Wilfred Harper Jr.''': Good!
:'''Wilfred Harper Sr.''': ''(takes off his mask)'' Now, let's celebrate!
:'''Emily Harper''': Oh!
:'''Wilfred Harper Sr.''': What's the matter? What's the matter with you all?! ''(Wilfred's face has taken on the appearance of his mask)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Mardi Gras incident, the dramatis personae being four people who came to celebrate and in a sense let themselves go. This they did with a vengeance. They now wear the faces of all that was inside them—and they'll wear them for the rest of their lives, said lives now to be spent in the shadow. Tonight's tale of men, the macabre and masks, on the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:I Am the Night—Color Me Black|I Am the Night—Color Me Black]]'' [5.26] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Sheriff Charlie Koch on the morning of an execution. As a matter of fact, it's seven-thirty in the morning. Logic and natural laws dictate that at this hour there should be daylight. It is a simple rule of physical science that the sun should rise at a certain moment and supersede the darkness. But at this given moment, Sheriff Charlie Koch, a deputy named Pierce, a condemned man named Jagger, and a small, inconsequential village will shortly find out that there are causes and effects that have no precedent. Such is usually the case - in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Deputy Pierce''': You seen the light, Reverend. You really seen the light.
:'''Reverend Anderson''': Have you? ''[turns to crowd]'' Have any of you? In all this darkness, is there anybody who can make out the truth? He hated and he killed and now he dies. And you hated, you killed, and now there's not one of you... Not one of you who isn't doomed. Do you know why it's dark? Do you know why it is night all around us? Do you know what the blackness is? It's the hate he felt, that hate you felt, the hate all of us feel, and there's too much of it. There's just too much. And so we had to vomit it out. And now it's coming up all around us and choking us. So much hate, so much miserable hate.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A sickness known as hate. Not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ, but a sickness nonetheless. Highly contagious. Deadly in its effects. Don't look for it in the Twilight Zone. Look for it in a mirror. Look for it before the light goes out altogether.

=== ''[[w:Sounds and Silences|Sounds and Silences]]'' [5.27] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': This is Roswell G. Flemington, two hundred and twenty pounds of gristle, lung tissue and sound decibels. He is, as you have perceived, a noisy man, one of a breed who substitutes volume for substance, sound for significance, and shouting to cover up the readily apparent phenomenon that he is nothing more than an overweight and aging perennial Sea Scout whose noise-making is in inverse ratio to his competence and to his character. But soon our would-be admiral of the fleet will embark on another voyage. This one is an uncharted and twisting stream that heads for a distant port called... the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': When last heard from, Mr. Roswell G. Flemington was in a sanitarium pleading with the medical staff to make some noise. They, of course, believe the case to be a rather tragic aberration - a man's mind becoming unhinged. And for this, they'll give him pills, therapy, and rest. Little do they realize that all Mr. Flemington is suffering from is a case of poetic justice. Tonight's tale of sounds and silences from... the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Caesar and Me|Caesar and Me]]'' [5.28] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Jonathan West, ventriloquist, a master of voice manipulation. A man late of Ireland, with a talent for putting words into other people's mouths. In this case, the other person is a dummy, aptly named Caesar, a small splinter with large ideas, a wooden tyrant with a mind and a voice of his own, who is about to talk Jonathan West into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A little girl and a wooden doll, a lethal dummy in the shape of a man. But everybody knows dummies can't talk - unless, of course, they learn their vocabulary in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Jeopardy Room|The Jeopardy Room]]'' [5.29] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The cast of characters: a cat and a mouse. This is the latter, the intended victim who may or may not know that he is to die, be it by butchery or ballet. His name is Major Ivan Kuchenko. He has, if events go according to certain plans, perhaps three or four more hours of living. But an ignorance shared by both himself and his executioner is the fact that both of them have taken a first step into the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Major Ivan Kuchenko, on his way west, on his way to freedom, a freedom bought and paid for by a most stunning ingenuity. And exit one Commissar Vassiloff, who forgot that there are two sides to an argument - and two parties on the line. This has been the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Stopover in a Quiet Town|Stopover in a Quiet Town]]'' [5.30] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Bob and Millie Frazier, average young New Yorkers who attended a party in the country last night and on the way home took a detour. Most of us on waking in the morning know exactly where we are; the rooster or the alarm clock brings us out of sleep into the familiar sights, sounds, aromas of home and the comfort of a routine day ahead. Not so with our young friends. This will be a day like none they've ever spent - and they'll spend it in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': The moral of what you've just seen is clear. If you drink, don't drive. And if your wife has had a couple, she shouldn't drive either. You might both just wake up with a whale of a headache in a deserted village in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Encounter|The Encounter]]'' [5.31] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Two men alone in an attic; a young Japanese-American and a seasoned veteran of yesterday's war. It's twenty-odd years since Pearl Harbor, but two ancient opponents are moving into position for a battle in an attic crammed with skeletons - souvenirs, mementos, old uniforms and rusted medals - ghosts from the dim reaches of the past that will lead us into... the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Two men in an attic, locked in mortal embrace, their common bond and their common enemy: guilt, a disease all-too prevalent amongst men both in and out of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Mr. Garrity and the Graves|Mr. Garrity and the Graves]]'' [5.32] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Introducing Mr. Jared Garrity, a gentleman of commerce, who in the latter half of the nineteenth century plied his trade in the wild and wooly hinterlands of the American West. And Mr. Garrity, if one can believe him, is a resurrecter of the dead - which, on the face of it, certainly sounds like the bull is off the nickel. But to the scoffers amongst you, and you ladies and gentlemen from Missouri, don't laugh this one off entirely, at least until you've seen a sample of Mr. Garrity's wares, and an example of his services. The place is Happiness, Arizona, the time around 1890. And you and I have just entered a saloon where the bar whiskey is brewed, bottled and delivered from the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Exit Mr. Garrity, a would-be charlatan, a make-believe con man and a sad misjudger of his own talents. Respectfully submitted from an empty cemetery on a dark hillside that is one of the slopes leading to the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Brain Center at Whipple's|The Brain Center at Whipple's]]'' [5.33] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': These are the players, with or without a scorecard. In one corner, a machine. In the other, one Wallace V. Whipple, man. And the game? It happens to be the historical battle between flesh and steel, between the brain of man and the product of man's brain. We don't make book on this one, and predict no winner, but we can tell you that, for this particular contest, there is standing room only... in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': There are many bromides applicable here: 'too much of a good thing', 'tiger by the tail', 'as you sow so shall you reap'. The point is that, too often, Man becomes clever instead of becoming wise; he becomes inventive and not thoughtful; and sometimes, as in the case of Mr. Whipple, he can create himself right out of existence. As in tonight's tale of oddness and obsolescence, in the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:Come Wander with Me|Come Wander with Me]]'' [5.34] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': Mr. Floyd Burney, a gentleman songster in search of song, is about to answer the age-old question of whether a man can be in two places at the same time. As far as his folk song is concerned, we can assure Mr. Burney he'll find everything he's looking for, although the lyrics may not be all to his liking. But that's sometimes the case - when the words and music are recorded in the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': In retrospect, it may be said of Mr. Floyd Burney that he achieved that final dream of the performer: eternal top-name billing. Not on the fleeting billboards of the entertainment world, but forever recorded among the folk songs of the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Fear (The Twilight Zone)|The Fear]]'' [5.35] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': The major ingredient of any recipe for fear is the unknown. And here are two characters about to partake of the meal: Miss Charlotte Scott, a fashion editor, and Mr. Robert Franklin, a state trooper. And the third member of the party: the unknown, that has just landed a few hundred yards away. This person or thing is soon to be met. This is a mountain cabin, but it is also a clearing in the shadows known as the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Fear, of course, is extremely relative. It depends on who can look down and who must look up. It depends on other vagaries, like the time, the mood, the darkness. But it's been said before, with great validity, that the worst thing there is to fear is fear itself. Tonight's tale of terror and tiny people on the Twilight Zone.

=== ''[[w:The Bewitchin' Pool|The Bewitchin' Pool]]'' [5.36] ===

:'''Rod Serling''': A swimming pool not unlike any other pool, a structure built of tile and cement and money, a backyard toy for the affluent, wet entertainment for the well-to-do. But to Jeb and Sport Sharewood, this pool holds mysteries not dreamed of by the building contractor, not guaranteed in any sales brochure. For this pool has a secret exit that leads to a never-neverland, a place designed for junior citizens who need a long voyage away from reality, into the bottomless regions of the Twilight Zone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': Introduction to a perfect setting: colonial mansion, spacious grounds, heated swimming pool. All the luxuries money can buy. Introduction to two children: brother and sister. Names Jeb and Sport. Healthy, happy, normal youngsters. Introduction to a mother: Gloria Sharewood by name, glamorous by nature. Introduction to a father: Gil Sharewood. Handsome, prosperous, the picture of success. The man who has achieved every man's ambition: beautiful children, beautiful home, beautiful wife. Idyllic? Obviously. But don't look too carefully. Don't peek behind the facade. The ideal might have feet of clay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rod Serling''': A brief epilogue for concerned parents: of course, there isn't any such place as the gingerbread house of Aunt T, and we grownups know there's no door at the bottom of a swimming pool that leads to a secret place. But who can say how real the fantasy world of lonely children can become? For Jeb and Sport Sharewood, the need for love turned fantasy into reality. They found a secret place—in the Twilight Zone.

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* It’s easy to overlook the sheer genius of The Twilight Zone’s plot twists because many of us grew up already knowing the endings. After all, some of the best ones have grown so famous as to seep into pop culture and become the subject of countless parodies. But throughout the series, Rod Serling so perfectly illustrates how to gobsmack viewers with a huge surprise: throw them off the scent by making them ask the wrong question. 
* Modern [[horror]] relies heavily on [[music]] and [[sound]] effects, and while these are certainly valuable tools, the power of [[silence]] should never be forgotten. The Twilight Zone boasts a phenomenal score, which is usually composed by the legendary [[w:Bernard Herrmann|Bernard Hermann]], yet many of the most iconic scenes resonate because they are so unsettlingly quiet.
* Every successful piece of horror should have a little something to say beyond what’s on the surface, and that was certainly the case with The Twilight Zone. Even the scariest episodes still have more going on than just a bunch of aliens or haunted inanimate objects; they work both as thrill-machines and as legitimately interesting pieces of storytelling.
* Even the most fantastical Twilight Zone episodes don’t seem too unrealistic because they are told from the perspective of an average person. Similarly, horror films with outlandish plots have the potential to alienate viewers, but even the most bizarre premise will work if we believe the actions of the human characters.
* The Twilight Zone is like the [[Seinfeld]] of horror. Just as Jerry [[Seinfeld]]’s [[comedy]] takes the simplest aspects of life and makes them hilarious, The Twilight Zone takes the simplest aspects of life and makes them terrifying.
:* Brendan Morrow, [https://bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/3387022/modern-horror-filmmakers-can-learn-twilight-zone/ &quot;What Modern Horror Filmmakers Can Learn From “The Twilight Zone”&quot;], ''Bloody Disgusting'', (April 14, 2016).

* I think you can say more obviously in the framework of an honest-to-Christ contemporary piece so that you don't have to talk in [[parable]]s, in [[symbolism]]s and the rest of it, but this is not to say that you can't make a point of social criticism using [[science fiction]] or [[fantasy]] as your backdrop. We did that on Twilight Zone a lot, but there's no room for that kind of subtlety anymore. The problems are so much with us that they have to be attacked directly.
** Rod Serling, [http://www.rodserling.com/brevelleint.htm &quot;Rod Serling: The Facts of Life&quot;], Linda Breville, ''Writers' Digest Magazine'', (March 4, 1975).

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} 
{{commonscat|The Twilight Zone}}
* {{imdb title|0052520|The Twilight Zone}}
* [http://www.scifilm.org/tv/tz/ Twilight Zone episode summaries] at scifilm.org
* [http://leapinbass.com/zone/ Pete's Twilight Zone] tribute site
* [http://www.scifi.com/twilightzone The Twilight Zone]'' at Scifi.com
* [http://tzone.the-croc.com/ John's Twilight Zone Page]
* [http://googootwilightzone.wix.com/googootwilightzone/ GooGoo’s The Twilight Zone]
* [http://directory.google.com/Top/Arts/Television/Programs/Science_Fiction_and_Fantasy/T/Twilight_Zone,_The/ Google category: The Twilight Zone]
* [http://twilightzonewor.9.forumer.com/index.php?act=idx Twilight Zone Cafe] A Twilight Zone Message Board

{{DEFAULTSORT:Twilight Zone (1959 TV series), The}}
[[Category:1950s American anthology TV shows]]
[[Category:1960s American anthology TV shows]]]
[[Category:1950s American science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:1960s American science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:CBS shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:TV shows revived after cancellation]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Napoleon Dynamite</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>4842</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154860</id>
      <parentid>3078651</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T11:57:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>24.228.228.40</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Uncle Rico */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22962" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Napoleon Dynamite|Napoleon Dynamite]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004 film]] about a listless and alienated teenager who decides to help his new friend win the class presidency in their small Idaho high school, while he must deal with his bizarre family life back home. Napoleon Dynamite has become a cult-classic and the quotes are now often said in American high schools.
:''Directed by [[w:Jared Hess|Jared Hess]]. Written by [[w:Jared Hess|Jared Hess]] and [[w:Jerusha Hess|Jerusha Hess]].''
{{center|'''He's out to prove he's got nothing to prove.'''&lt;small&gt;[[#Taglines|Taglines]]&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Napoleon Dynamite==
* You know like numchuck (sic) skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!
* ''[Looks at a wig]'' That one looks like a medieval warrior.
* I caught you a delicious bass.
* Do the chickens have large talons?
* Pedro offers you his protection.
* Yeah, hold on... I forgot to put in the crystals.
* Yeah, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bo staff.
* ''[To Deb]'' I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my nunchucks in there anymore.
* ''[While hitting a tetherball repeatedly]'' (*hit*) YES! (*hit*) YES! (*hit*) YES!
* ''[To Trisha over the phone]'' Really? It took me, like, 3 hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
* Are you guys having a killer time?
* Gosh!!!
* ''[To Deb]'' I like your sleeves... they're real big.
* ''[To Pedro]'' Just listen to your heart. That's what I do.
* What the heck are you even talking about?
* You got like three feet of air that time. Can I try it really quick?
* Tina, you fat lard! Come get some dinner! Tina, eat. Eat the food. EAT THE FOOD!
* Tina, come get some ham!
* Six dollars? That's like a dollar an hour!
* Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.
* ''[To Kip and LaFawnduh at wedding]'' I hope you guys' experiences are unforgettable.
* ''[To Kip and LaFawnduh]'' LUCKY!!

== Kip ==
* ''[Whispering while typing]'' I love the way your sandy hair floats in the air... To me it's like a lullaby... I'm just flying by... Oh so high... like a kite... tied to a stake.
* I'm just getting kinda TO'd. I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.
* How 'bout some gold bracelets?
* I've been out making some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico.
* Lafawnduh is ''the'' best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.
* ''[Kip is singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife]'' Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chat room, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me &quot;salvivate&quot;... Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I still love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to Heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever...
* Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruising my neck meat!
* Geez, I think you ripped my mole off.
* You're just jealous 'cause I've been chatting online with babes all day.

== Rex ==
* I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man. So come down today for your free-trial lesson!
* Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!
* Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!
* My name is Rex. If you study with my eight-week program, you will learn the system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons fighting in the Octagon. It's called Rex Kwon Do. I need a volunteer...
* Now, in addition to what you just saw, if you study with my eight-week program, you're gonna learn these things. First off, at Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flyin' solo. You need somebody watchin' your back ''at all times''. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan here? ''[gestures at Napoleon]'' Take a look at what I'm wearin', people. ''[Points to his American flag pants]'' You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? ''[Points to a photo of his blonde, tan, muscular body-builder wife.]'' Forget about it! Now, for only $300 dollars, you can sign up right now for my eight-week program.
* Just break the wrist, and walk away. Break the wrist; walk away.
* ''[To Rico, after he arrives home to find him trying to sell herbal breast enhancers to Starla]'' C'MERE, BOY!!

== Uncle Rico ==
* How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
* Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.
* Your grandma took a spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
* Hey, you guys wanna see my video?
* Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?
* Billowy's good.
* How does the dealio sound now?

==Summer==
* ''[Her class president campaign speech]'' Well, I never thought I would make it here today. I would make a great class president because I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria, and I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonne Bell dispenser for all the girls' bathrooms. Oh, and we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. Anyway, I think I'd be a great class president. So, who wants to eat chimichangas next year? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long. Vote for Summer.

==Pedro==
* ''[His class president campaign speech]'' I don't have much to say, but I think it would be good to have some [[w:Santo (art)|Holy Santos]] brought to the high school, to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck. [[w:Holy Infant of Atocha|El Santo Niño de Atocha]] is a good one. My Aunt Concha has seen him. And we have a great [[w:National FFA Organization|FFA]] schedule lined up, and I'd like to see more of that. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you.

==Lyle==
* ''[Fumbles with shotgun as he prepares to slaughter cow]'' Nothin' on here works smooth.
* ''[Making small talk]'' Over there in that creek bed&lt;!--The subtitles say &quot;pig pen&quot;. The subtitles are wrong.--&gt; I found a couple of [[w:Shoshone|Shoshoni]] arrowheads.
* ''[Officiating a wedding]'' I would like to give you this advice that a fellow gave me some years ago. He said, &quot;When an argument arises, if you go outside and take a nice walk, you'll calm down and you can come back, and it won't be an argument. And you'll find that it helps your health; all that fresh air and exercise will do you a lot of good.&quot;

==Dialogue==
:''[First lines]''
:'''Vern''': What are you going to do today, Napoleon? 
:'''Napoleon''': Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh! ''(Ties a string to his action figure and chucks it out the window)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Who are you?
:'''Lafawnduh''': I'm Lafawnduh.
:'''Napoleon''': What are you doing here?
:'''Lafawnduh''': I'm waiting for Kip. Why are you so sweaty?
:'''Napoleon''': Been practicing.
:'''Lafawnduh''': Practicing what?
:'''Napoleon''': My dance moves. ''[dramatically turns his head and takes a swig of Gatorade]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Teacher''': Your current event, Napoleon. 
:'''Napoleon''': Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Court Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its residents, and all those who seek a peaceful existence with our underwater ally.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don''': Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
:'''Napoleon''': I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
:'''Don''': Did you shoot any?
:'''Napoleon''': Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
:'''Don''': What kind of gun did you use?
:'''Napoleon''': A frickin' twelve-gauge, what do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Hey, can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
:'''Secretary''': Is there anything wrong?
:'''Napoleon''': I don't feel very good. ''[Secretary pushes telephone towards Napoleon and he dials number]'' 
:'''Kip''': ''[on other line]'' Hi.
:'''Napoleon''': Is Grandma there?
:'''Kip''': No, she's getting her hair done. 
:'''Napoleon''': ''[prolonged sigh]'' 
:'''Kip''': What do you need? 
:'''Napoleon''': Can you just go get her for me? 
:'''Kip''': I'm really busy right now. ''[he's making nachos]''
:'''Napoleon''': Just tell her to come get me. 
:'''Kip''': Why? 
:'''Napoleon''': 'Cause I don't feel good!  
:'''Kip''': Well, have you talked to the school nurse?  
:'''Napoleon''': No, she doesn't know anything... Will you just come get me?
:'''Kip''': No.  
:'''Napoleon''': Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my [[w:ChapStick|ChapStick]]? 
:'''Kip''': No, Napoleon. 
:'''Napoleon''': But my lips hurt real bad!
:'''Kip''': Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer. 
:'''Napoleon''': I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko! 
:'''Kip''': See ya. ''(Hangs up)''
:'''Napoleon''': Ugh! Idiot!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Do you ride the bus to school?
:'''Pedro''': No, I ride my bike. 
:'''Napoleon''': What kind of bike do you have?
:''[cut to them with bike]''
:'''Pedro''': It's a Sledgehammer.
:'''Napoleon''': Dang! You got shocks... pegs... Lucky! ''(Also notices the [[w:Flag of Mexico|Flag of Mexico]] on the back of the seat)'' You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Rico''': Back in '82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter mile.
:'''Kip''': Are you serious?
:'''Uncle Rico''': I'm dead serious.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': How long did it take you to grow that mustache?
:'''Pedro''': A couple of days.
:'''Napoleon''': I wish I could grow one. ''[chomps into a tater tot]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip! 
:'''Kip''': Napoleon, don't be jealous 'cause I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to become a cage fighter. 
:'''Napoleon''': Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
:'''Kip''': Try and hit me, Napoleon.
:'''Napoleon''': What?
:'''Kip''': I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
:'''Napoleon''': ''[comes down the stairs]'' Such an idiot!
:'''Kip''': C'mon, let's see what your best move is...
:''[After Napoleon tries and fails to hit Kip a few times, the doorbell rings]''
:'''Napoleon''': I'll go get it. ''[Slaps Kip in the face while he's not looking]''
:'''Kip''': Geeeez!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Deb''': And here we have some boondoggle keychains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
:'''Napoleon''': I already made like affinity ''[sic]''  of those at scout camp.
:'''Deb''': Well, is anyone else here?  I'm trying to earn money for college.  
:'''Kip''': ''[in the background]'' Your mom goes to college!
:''[Deb shoves the case into Napoleon's hands and runs away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandma''': How was school?
:'''Napoleon''': The worst day of my life, what do you think?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Well, what is there to eat? 
:'''Grandma''': Knock it off, Napoleon!  Make yourself a dang quesadilla! ''[pronounces it &quot;case-a-dill-a&quot;]''
:'''Napoleon''': Fine!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right? 
:'''Pedro''': Yes.
:'''Napoleon''': ''[recalling the tenets of Rex Kwon Do]'' So you got my back and everything?
:'''Pedro''': What?
:'''Napoleon''': Never mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kip''': So how long are we talking about working?
:'''Uncle Rico''': What, are you already losing your steam?
:'''Kip''': No, I just... I have a chat room meeting at four. I gotta be back here by then.
:'''Uncle Rico''': All right, you just start a little earlier, that's all. Or else work afterwards. How long is the chat room?
:'''Kip''': Geez, sometimes up to 3 or 4 hours maybe... maybe not...
:'''Uncle Rico''': You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you're on, like for minutes on the phone?
:'''Kip''': Yeah, Grandma's still paying per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long.
:'''Uncle Rico''': I bet she does. I'll tell you something, I'd be throwing you out the window.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now.
:'''Pedro''': Is she hot?
:'''Napoleon''': See for yourself. ''[hands Pedro Deb's glamor shot sample]''
:'''Pedro''': Wow.
:'''Napoleon''': Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
:'''Pedro''': I like her bangs.
:'''Napoleon''': Me too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[during class]''
:'''Randy''': Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
:'''Napoleon''': No, go find your own.
:'''Randy''': Come on. Give me some of your tots.
:'''Napoleon''': No. I'm freakin' starved. I didn't get to eat anything today. 
:''[Randy kicks Napoleon's pants pocket, ruining the tater tots]''
:'''Napoleon''': Ugh. Gross. Freakin' idiot!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[deleted scene]''
:'''Don''': ''[playing kickball]'' Hey, Napoleon. Did you wet the bed last night?
:'''Napoleon''': Hey, Don. Did you take a dump in your bed last night?
:'''Don''': I could kick your butt, Napoleon, so I'd shut up.
:'''Napoleon''': Why don't you go tell your mom to shut up?
:'''Don''': What did you just say?
:'''Napoleon''': Whatever I feel like I wanna say!
:'''Don''': Did you just say something about my mom?
:'''Napoleon''': Maybe I did, maybe I didn't!
:'''Don''': Do you wanna die, Napoleon?
:'''Napoleon''': Yeah, right. Who's the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government?
:'''Don''': ''[steps up to Napoleon]'' Step up, Napoleon.
:''[Napoleon slaps him, then runs away.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': ''[lying]'' Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
:'''Uncle Rico''': She didn't tell me anything.
:'''Napoleon''': Too bad. She said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
:'''Uncle Rico''': I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
:'''Napoleon''': Get off my property!
:'''Uncle Rico''': It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
:'''Napoleon''': Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
:'''Uncle Rico''': Well then do it! Go on!
:'''Napoleon''': Maybe I will, GOSH!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Napoleon, Kip, and Uncle Rico watching Uncle Rico's video of himself throwing footballs]''
:'''Uncle Rico''': So, what do you think?
:'''Kip''': It's pretty cool, I guess.
:'''Uncle Rico''': Ohhhh, man, I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.
:'''Napoleon''': This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
:'''Kip''': Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
:'''Uncle Rico''': You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
:'''Napoleon''': You guys are retarded!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': ''[referring to the dance]'' Who are you gonna ask?
:'''Pedro''': That girl over there.
:'''Napoleon''': Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?
:'''Pedro''': Build her a cake or something.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pedro''': Do you think people will vote for me?
:'''Napoleon''': Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
:'''Pedro''': Like what are my skills?
:'''Napoleon''': Well, you have a sweet bike, and you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're, like, the only guy at school who has a mustache.
:'''Pedro''': That's true.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[talking about the school-president election]''
:'''Pedro''': If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
:'''Napoleon''': Sweet!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Rico''': What about your girlfriend?
:'''Kip''': Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day, so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
:'''Pedro''': Why?
:'''Napoleon''': Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
:'''Pedro''': Do you have anything to give to her?
:'''Napoleon''': No. Not unless she likes fish.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Napoleon just hung up the phone]''
:'''Pedro''': Who was that?
:'''Napoleon''': Trisha.
:'''Pedro''': Who's she?
:'''Napoleon''': My woman I'm taking to the dance.
:'''Pedro''': Did you draw her a picture?
:'''Napoleon''': Heck yes I did.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Rico''': I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
:'''Napoleon''': I wish ''you'd'' get out of my life and shut up!
:'''Uncle Rico''': Let me tell you about something. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is making 120 bucks.
:'''Napoleon''': I could make that much money in 5 seconds!
:'''Kip''': Geez, yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
:'''Uncle Rico''': Napoleon, it looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you go out there and feed Tina?
:'''Napoleon''': Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don''': Vote for Summer.
:'''Napoleon''': Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.
:'''Don''': Then who you gonna vote for?
:'''Napoleon''': I'm votin' for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think? ''[Don scoffs and starts to walk away]'' Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons?
:''[Don hands Napoleon a &quot;Vote 4 Summer&quot; button; Napoleon throws it at the wall, stares at Don, then runs away.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Deb''': What are you drawing?
:'''Napoleon''': A liger.
:'''Deb''': What's a liger?
:'''Napoleon''': It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[deleted Scene]''
:'''Napoleon''': ''[entering convenience store]'' Hey, how's it goin'? Those egg rolls are looking pretty good. I might get me some later, I don't have any money right now. You know, I think I'm just gonna get me one of them lotto tickets. My wife says I gotta stop but I'm just feeling real positive today and I wanted to try out my luck and —
:'''Cashier''': I think you'd better get back to class. I don't sell lotto tickets to minors.
:'''Napoleon''': I'm just gonna go get my ID.  ''[bumps into cooler]'' ''[outside, to Pedro]'' Gosh! They wouldn't sell me one. I don't look old enough. Dang!
:'''Pedro''': Do you think I look old enough? ''[in store]'' Un lotto ticket, por favor.
:''[The Cashier looks at Pedro's mustache, then sells him a ticket.]''
:'''Napoleon''': ''[outside, scratching ticket]'' Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That's ten dollars! Yes!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Why do you got your hood on like that?
:'''Pedro''': ''[flashing back]'' Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head so hot. So I went in the kitchen, and I shaved it all off. ''[done flash-backing]'' I don't want anyone to see.
:'''Napoleon''': I know what you mean.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': Are you guys are, like, Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hook-ups?
:'''Cholo #1''': [[wiktionary:simón#Interjection|Simón]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Napoleon''': ''[drinks a glass of milk]'' The defect in that one is bleach.
:'''FFA Judge No. 1''': That's right.
:'''Napoleon''': Yessssss.
:'''Napoleon''': ''[drinks second glass of milk]'' This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch.
:'''FFA Judge No. 2''': Correct.
:'''Napoleon''': Yessssss.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Randy''': Hey, lemme borrow your bike!
:'''Bullied kid''': No.
:'''Randy''': C'mon. I'll give you some chips.
:'''Bullied kid''': No!
:''[As they fight over the bike, Pedro's cousins pull up in their low-rider. They glare at Randy, and one shakes his head menacingly. Randy flees.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[deleted scene]''
:'''Dave''': Hey, Napoleon. I hear you're in a club for girls.
:'''Napoleon''': Shut up, I am not.
:'''Dave''': Yeah? Why are you in the Happy Hands Club then?
:'''Napoleon''': 'Cause I didn't have a freakin' choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Napoleon hurls a grapefruit at Uncle Rico's van, Uncle Rico stops his van, gets out his van, face to face with Napoleon, Napoleon throws an orange at Uncle Rico, Uncle Rico chases him, tackles Napoleon down, and puts Napoleon in a headlock]''
:'''Uncle Rico''': Why the heck you throwin' crap at my van, Napoleon?!
:'''Napoleon''': Everybody at school thinks I'm a frickin' IDIOT because of you!
:'''Uncle Rico''': You're gonna clean my van... right now.
:'''Napoleon''': Get off of me, you bodaggit! ''[Napoleon hits Uncle Rico with his elbow, runs off, and climbs a fence, jumps off, and continues running]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sheldon''': Who's that in my driveway?
:''[Pedro's cousins show off their low-rider's hydraulics]''
:'''Napoleon''': That's my ride.

== Taglines ==
* He's out to prove he's got nothing to prove.
* It's Gonna Be a Dynamite Summer
* Same planet...different flippin' world.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jon Heder|Jon Heder]] - Napoleon Dynamite 
* [[w:Efren Ramirez|Efren Ramirez]] - Pedro Sanchez 
* [[w:Jon Gries|Jon Gries]] - Uncle Rico 
* [[w:Aaron Ruell|Aaron Ruell]] - Kip Dynamite 
* [[w:Diedrich Bader|Diedrich Bader]] - Rex 
* [[w:Tina Majorino|Tina Majorino]] - Deb 
* [[w:Sandy Martin|Sandy Martin]] - Grandma 
* [[w:Haylie Duff|Haylie Duff]] - Summer Wheatly 
* Emily Kennard - Trisha Stevens
* Trevor Snarr - Don 
* [[w:Shondrella Avery|Shondrella Avery]] - LaFawnduh Lucas

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0374900|title=Napoleon Dynamite}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=napoleon_dynamite|title=Napoleon Dynamite}}

[[Category:2004 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Coming-of-age films]]
[[Category:Teen comedy films]]
[[Category:Independent films]]
[[Category:Films set in Idaho]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Cool Runnings</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>5698</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154778</id>
      <parentid>3154267</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:21:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
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      <text bytes="9756" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Cool Runnings|Cool Runnings]]''''' is a [[w:1993 in film|1993]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] about the exploits of the Jamaican Bobsled Team at [[w:Calgary, Alberta|Calgary, Alberta]], Canada in the 1988 Winter Olympics.
:''Directed by [[w:Jon Turteltaub|Jon Turteltaub]]. Written by [[w:Lynn Siefert|Lynn Siefert]], [[w:Tommy Swerdlow|Tommy Swerdlow]], and [[w:Michael Goldberg|Michael Goldberg]].''
{{center|'''One Dream. Four Jamaicans. Twenty Below Zero.'''}}	

== Dialogue ==
:'''Derice''': ''[knocks the wheels off a pushcart]'' That's a Bobsled.
:'''Sanka''': Oh, so a bobsled is a pushcart with no wheels.
:'''Derice''': ''[opens a book]'' It's what it looks like here.
:'''Sanka''': Let me see that, ''[Derice hands Sanka the book]'' Alright... &quot;The key elements for a successful sled team are a steady driver and three strong runners to push off down the ice...&quot; ICE? ''[to Derice]'' Ice!
:'''Derice''': Well... it's kind of a winter sport, ya know?
:'''Sanka''': You mean winter, as in ICE?
:'''Derice''': Maybe.
:'''Sanka''': You mean winter, as in igloos and Eskimos and penguins and ICE?
:'''Derice''': Possibly.
:'''Sanka''': ''[hands the book back]'' See ya.
:'''Derice''': Where you going?
:'''Sanka''': I'm going to take a hot bath, I'm getting cold just thinking about all this ice.
:'''Derice''': No man, you're going to be part of my bobsled team.
:'''Sanka''': What do you need me for?
:'''Derice''': Who is the best pushcart driver in all of Jamaica?
:'''Sanka''': You're looking at him!
:'''Derice''': Then you gotta do it?
:'''Sanka''': NO!
:'''Derice''': Hey man, you could be famous, you could have your picture on a Wheaties box. But you said no and that's alright because I don't need ya, everybody is gonna want to be on my bobsled team.
:'''Sanka''': Look Star, let tell you a little somethin', alright? When you need somethin' from me, you don't have to hand me a bunch of lines. All you have to do is look at me in the eye and say, &quot;Sanka, you are my best friend, we been through a whole heap together and I really, really need you.&quot;
:'''Derice''': Sanka, you right, and you are my best friend, and we been through a whole lot together...
:'''Sanka''': Heap, heap. 
:'''Derice''': Sorry man, whole heap together.
:'''Sanka''': &quot;And I really, really need you.&quot;
:'''Derice''': And I really really need you.
:'''Sanka''': ...Forget it!
:'''Derice''': But you just said if I said that, mon...
:'''Sanka''': Alright, alright, alright, alright, mon.  
:''[They hug.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sanka''': So what are we going to name the sled?
:'''Junior''': How about, Talulah.
:'''Rest of team''': ''[Laughing]'' Talulah!
:'''Sanka''': Sounds like a two-dollar hooker. How'd you come up with that?
:'''Junior''': It's real. That's my mother's name. ''[Embarrassed silence, then Team converses in agreement that Talulah is a good name]''
:'''Sanka''': ''[to Derice]'' What's it gonna be, star? What are the people gonna be screaming when Jamaica takes the hill?
:'''Derice''': I say we call it, 'Cool Runnings.'
:'''Junior''': Beautiful, I like it.
:'''Yul''': Very strong.
:'''Coach Irv''': Nice, very nice, but... what exactly does it mean?
:'''Derice''': Cool runnings means, &quot;peace be the journey.&quot;
:'''Team''': ''[Toasting]'' Cool Runnings.
:'''Messenger''': Excuse me... ''[gives Coach Irv a letter and leaves]''
:'''Sanka''': ''[Toasting]'' To the man in the orange suit. ''[Toasting after man leaves]'' To the messenger.
:'''Coach Irv''': ''[Ashen-faced, after reading the letter]'' We are officially...disqualified.

[[File:Birdsclosing.jpg|thumb|Hell, it doesn't matter if they come in first or 50th. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are all about.]]
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[At the IAWS meeting, Irv confronts the council about why the Jamaicans were disqualified]''
:'''British Alliance Member''': We must also be concerned about the potential for embarrassment.
:'''Irv Blitzer''': Oh, forgive me. I didn't realize that four black guys in a bobsled could make you blush. ''[British panelist goes quiet]''
:'''IAWS Officer''': I think we've heard enough.
:'''Irv''': ''[pleads]'' Come on, Kurt, what you're doing is wrong and you know it! Now if this is about you and me, let's get it straight right now. 
:''[Kurt stops for a moment as well as the IAWS. He expects a confession from Irv and isn't disappointed when Irv speaks]'' 
:'''Irv''': All right, [[w:1972 Winter Olympics|16 years ago]], I made the biggest mistake of my life - I cheated. I was stupid. I embarrassed myself, my family, my teammates, my country... ''[points to Kurt]'' and my coach. If it's revenge you want, take it. Go ahead, disqualify me, banish me! Do whatever you want, but do it to me! It was '''me''' who let you down, Kurt! It wasn't my guys! They've done everything you've asked of them! And they did it with all of you laughing in their face. Hell, it doesn't matter if they come in first or 50th. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are all about. Sixteen years ago, I forgot that. Don't you go and do the same. Sorry if I interrupted your meeting.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Junior Bevil is conflicted about his father coming to Calgary to fetch him]''
:'''Whitby Bevil Sr''': Now you listen to me, boy. You might not have done what you were asked, but you will do what you're told. You're coming home.
:'''Junior Bevil''': Yeah, but father, you know, I just–
:'''Whitby''': But nothing!! I didn't send you to the finest school for you to... go around sliding on your back side! You must be mad.
:'''Junior''': Yeah, but the team needs me-
:'''Whitby''': I don't want to hear any more about it. ''[Elevator door opens]'' Go and get your things. ''[Junior Bevil stands aside to usher his father into the elevator]'' I'll wait in the lobby.
:'''Junior''': ''[Murmurs]'' Pride, Power... ''[Stops elevator]'' Father, when you look at me, what do you see?
:'''Whitby''': I don't have time for games, Junior.
:'''Junior''': Tell me what you see, please!
:'''Whitby''': All right, I'll tell you what I see. I see a lost little boy, who's lucky to have a father who knows what's best for him.
:'''Junior''': ''[Stops elevator again]'' No, no, no, no, you don't know what's best for me, Father. I am not a lost little boy, Father. I am a man, and I'm an Olympian. I'm staying right here. ''[Elevator door closes with a sad Whitby Sr inside]''
:'''Yul''': ''[having seen the exchange]'' Hey, Junior Bevil. You're a bad-ass mother.

[[File:Flag of Jamaica.svg|thumb|right|If we look Jamaican, walk Jamaican, talk Jamaican and IS Jamaican, then we sure as hell better bobsled Jamaican.]]
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Coach Irv has reprimanded the team over their run earlier in the day]''
:'''Derice''': You know, when the Swiss want to ge....''[Team groans]''
:'''Sanka''': Ah, will you shut up about the damn Swiss! I mean, it was all that ''eins zwei drei'' nonsense that got us all nervous in the first place.
:'''Derice''': Hey, man, look here, I'm just trying to get us off on the right foot. 
:'''Sanka''': Well, the right foot for us is not the Swiss foot. I mean, come on, Derice, we can't be copying nobody else's style. We have our own style.
:'''Derice''': Kissing an egg is no kind of style. It's the Olympics here, it's no stupid push-cart derby. ''[Long pause]''
:'''Sanka''': Let me tell you something, rasta, I didn't come up here to forget who I am and where I come from.  
:'''Derice''': Neither did I. I'm just trying to be the best I can be. 
:'''Sanka''': So am I, and the best I can be is Jamaican. Look, Derice, I've known you since Julie Jeffreys asked to see your ding-a-ling ''[Derice smiles]'' and I'm telling you as a friend...if we look Jamaican, walk Jamaican, talk Jamaican and IS Jamaican, then we sure as hell better bobsled Jamaican.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[at a club somewhere in Jamaica, as the team's second run goes surprisingly well]'' 
:'''Olympic Announcer''': Where did these guys come from?
:'''Crowd At Bar''': ''[shouts at TV]'' JAMAICA!!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Irv''': Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.
:'''Derice''': Hey, coach, how will I know if I'm enough?
:'''Irv''': When you cross that finish line, you'll know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[the team just crashed in the medal run]''
:'''Sanka''': Hey, Derice! You dead? 
:'''Derice''': No, man, I'm not dead. But we have to finish the race.

==Taglines==
* One Dream. Four Jamaicans. Twenty Below Zero.
* Jamaican Bobsledders?
* Inspired by the true story of Jamaica's first Olympic bobsled team.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Leon Robinson|Leon Robinson]] - Derice Bannock
* [[w:Doug E. Doug|Doug E. Doug]] - Sanka Coffie
* [[w:Rawle D. Lewis|Rawle D. Lewis]] - Junior Bevil
* [[w:Malik Yoba|Malik Yoba]] - Yul Brenner
* [[w:John Candy|John Candy]] - Irving 'Irv' Blitzer
* [[w:Raymond J. Barry|Raymond J. Barry]] - Kurt Hemphill
* [[w:Peter Outerbridge|Peter Outerbridge]] - Josef Grool
* Paul Coeur - Roger
* Larry Gilman - Larry
* [[w:Charles Hyatt|Charles Hyatt]] - Whitby Bevil Sr.
* [[w:Winston Stona|Winston Stona]] - Coolidge
* Bertina Macauley - Joy Bannock
* Pauline Stone Myrie - Momma Coffie

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=0106611 | title=Cool Runnings}}

[[Category:1993 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Monsters, Inc.</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>6386</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154576</id>
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      <text bytes="13464" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Monsters, Inc. logo.svg|thumb]]
'''''[[w:Monsters, Inc.|Monsters, Inc.]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] computer animated feature film in which, in order to power the city, monsters have to scare children so that they scream. However, the children are toxic to the monsters, and after a child gets through, two monsters realize things may not be what they think.
:''Directed by [[w:Pete Docter|Pete Docter]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]] and [[w:Daniel Gerson|Daniel Gerson]], based on a story by [[w:Pete Docter|Pete Docter]], [[w:Jill Culton|Jill Culton]], [[w:Jeff Pidgeon|Jeff Pidgeon]], and [[w:Ralph Eggleston|Ralph Eggleston]]''
&lt;center&gt;'''Monsters, Inc.: We Scare Because We Care.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

== James P. &quot;Sulley&quot; Sullivan ==
* ''[to Mike; silently]'' Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
* Spoons.

== Mike Wazowski ==
* ''[while Sulley brushes his teeth]'' Come on, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

* ''[chants]'' I don't know, but it's been said. I love scaring kids in bed!

* Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in you that makes you look like.... Listen, I need a favor.

* I'm tellin’ you, pal, when that wall went up, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?

== Randall Boggs ==
* ''[after whacking Sulley with a scream canister]'' You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Sullivan!

* ''[about to dispose of Sulley]'' Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid pathetic waste. You've been #1 for too long, Sullivan! Now your time is up! And don't worry. I'll take good care of the kid.

== Henry J. Waternoose ==
* There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you! Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory. Right into the monster world!

* Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

* ''[taken away by the C.D.A.]'' I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You've destroyed this company! Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now?! The energy crisis will only get worse because of you!!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Mike''': I'm tellin’ you, big daddy, you're gonna be seein’ this face on TV a lot more often.
:'''Sulley''': Yeah, like on &quot;Monstropolis' Most Wanted&quot;?
:'''Mike''': Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sulley has insisted on walking to work]''
:'''Mike''': Hey genius. You wanna know why I bought the car?
:'''Sulley''': Not really.
:'''Mike''': To drive it! You know, like on the street, with the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
:'''Sulley''': Wa, wa, wa, wa. give it a rest, Will ya, butterball? Come on, you could use the exercise.
:'''Mike''': '''''I''''' could use the exercise?! Look at you! You have your own '''''climate'''''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Celia''': So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
:'''Mike''': I just got us into a little place called, um... '''''Harryhausen's'''''.
:'''Celia''': '''''Harryhausen's?!''''' But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
:'''Mike''': '''''Not''''' for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quittin’ time, and not a minute later.
:'''Celia''': Okay, sweetheart.
:'''Mike''': Think romantical thoughts. ''[singing]'' You and me, me and you, both of us together!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Can I borrow your odorant?
:'''Sulley''': Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.
:'''Mike''': You got, uh, low tide?
:'''Sulley''': No.
:'''Mike''': How about wet dog?
:'''Sulley''': Yep. Stink it up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': ''[to Sulley]'' Y’know, sometimes I feel so romantic, I think I should just marry myself!
:'''Sulley''': Give me a break, Mike...
:'''Mike''': What a night of romance I've got aheada me! Tonight is about me and Celia! Hoo-hoo, the loveboat is about to set sail! ''[imitates the sound of a ship’s horn]'' I'm tellin’ ya, pal, I see her face and it makes my heart go-- ''[finds himself face-to-face with Roz]'' '''''YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
:'''Roz''': ''[sternly]'' Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
:'''Mike''': Well, as a matter of fact--
:'''Roz''': And I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly.... for once!! ''[silence]'' Your stunned silence is very reassuring! ''[leaves]''
:'''Mike''': Oh, no, my scare reports! I left them on my desk! If I'm not at the restaurant in five minutes, they're gonna give our table away, what am I gonna tell… ''[Celia comes up to Mike]'' Schmoopsie-Pooh.
:'''Celia''': Hey Googlie-Bear, wanna get going?
:'''Mike''': Do I ever? It's just that... Uh...
:'''Celia''': What?
:'''Mike''': There's a small--
:'''Celia''': I don't understand.
:'''Sulley''': It's just I forgot about some paperwork I was supposed to file! Mike was reminding me; thanks, buddy.
:'''Mike''': I was? I mean, I was! Yeah, I was.
:'''Celia''': Okay, let's go then.
:'''Mike''': We're going! ''[whispering to Sulley]'' On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to accounting, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. ''[Celia pulls him away; he comes back]'' Leave the puce! ''[gets pulled away again]''
:''[Later]''
:'''Sulley''': ''[to himself]'' So the pink copies go to purchasing, and the fuchsia ones go to Roz. No, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Man, I have no idea what puce is... ''[looks at some reddish-brown files]'' Oh, that's puce.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Celia''': Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays, well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. What are you looking at?
:'''Mike''': I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
:'''Celia''': Stop it.
:'''Mike''': Your hair was shorter then.
:'''Celia''': Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut. ''[the snakes in her hair look worried]''
:'''Mike''': No, no, I like it this length. ''[the snakes sigh in relief]'' I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful monster was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
:'''Celia''': What did you say?
:'''Mike''': I said-- ''[sees Sulley trying to get his attention]'' Sulley?!
:'''Celia''': Sulley?!?!

&lt;hr width=50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Sulley, the bear! The bear! Give her the bear! '''''WWWWWWHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Randall''': Wazowski! Where's the kid, you little one-eyed crettin?!
:'''Mike''': Okay. First of all, it's crettin! If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top!
:'''Randall''': ''[chuckles nastily]'' You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
:'''Mike''': Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled, like that... and now I'm thinkin’ I should just get out of here.
:'''Randall''': I am about revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working for me.  '''Mike''': Well, somebody's certainly been a busy bee.  '''Randall''': First I need to know where the kid is, and you're tell me.  '''Mike''': I don't know anything!  '''Randall''': Uh-huh, sure. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sulley''': ''[is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball]'' Mike?
:'''Mike''': Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
:'''Sulley''': Mike, you don't understand.
:'''Mike''': Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
:'''Sulley''': I'm being attacked!
:'''Mike''': No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a '''''team'''''. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
:''[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]''
:'''Mike''': I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
:''[Randall presses Sulley into a pipe and coils himself around his neck in an attempt to asphyxiate him. Sulley squeals in agony as he tries to pry Randall off his neck]''
:'''Mike''': Come on, pal. If you start cryin’, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now.
:''[Boo whines in terror]''
:'''Mike''': Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
:''[Mike throws a snowball; it hits Randall on the face, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out with a single punch, making him uncoil and slide onto the floor. Sulley catches his breath]''
:'''Mike''': Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's.... Oh.
:'''Sulley''': Come on!
:''[Sulley scoops Boo in his right arm, grabs Mike by the head with his left hand, and flees from the laboratory. Waternoose pops his head from behind the wall as Randall regains his composure]''
:'''Waternoose''': Get up! There can't be any witnesses.
:'''Randall''': There won't be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Waternoose''': This has gone far enough, James!
:'''Sulley''': She's home now! Just leave her alone!
:'''Waternoose''': I can't do that! She's seen too much! You '''''both''''' have!
:'''Sulley''': It doesn't have to be this way!
:'''Waternoose''': I have no choice! Times have changed! Scaring isn't enough anymore!
:'''Sulley''': But kidnapping children?!
:'''Waternoose''': I'll kidnap a '''''thousand''''' children before I let this company die! And I'll silence '''''ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY!!''''' ''[knocks Sulley out of the way]''
:'''Sulley''': '''''NO!!!!'''''
:''[Waternoose lunges at the bed, only to find the simulator robot]''
:'''Voice''': Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated.
:'''Waternoose''': ''[confused]'' Huh?! What is this?! But...! What?! What?! But...! 
:''[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]''
:'''Mike''': Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we? ''[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]''
:'''Waternose''': ''I'll kidnap a '''1000''' children I let this company died!'' ''[starts over and over again]'' But... But... ''[Waternose is taken away by CDA]'' What are you doing?! Get you're ''hands'' off me! you've can't arrest me?! I hope you happy Sullivan, you destroyed company Monsters Incorporated is *dead*! You let the everyone you scream now?! The energy is might you happened in the worse, BECUASE ON *'''''YOU!!!'''''*

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mike and Sulley are walking out of Monsters Inc.]'' 
:'''Mike''': I'm tellin’ you, pal, when that wall went up, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
:'''Sulley''': ''[having had an idea from seeing what Boo's laughing could do]'' Laughs!

== Taglines ==
* Monsters, Inc.: We Scare Because We Care

* You Won't Believe Your Eye.

* We Think They Are Scary, But Really We Scare Them!

* Since the very first bedtime, all around the world, children have known that once their mothers and fathers tuck them in, and shut off the light, that there are MONSTERS hiding in their closets, waiting to emerge! What they don't know is: it's nothing personal. It's just their job.

== Cast ==
* [[John Goodman]] as James P. &quot;Sulley&quot; Sullivan
* [[Billy Crystal]] as Michael &quot;Mike&quot; Wazowski
* [[w:Mary Gibbs|Mary Gibbs]] as Boo
* [[w:Steve Buscemi|Steve Buscemi]] as Randall Boggs
* [[w:James Coburn|James Coburn]] as Henry J. Waternoose III
* [[w:Jennifer Tilly|Jennifer Tilly]] as Celia Mae
* [[w:Bob Peterson (filmmaker)|Bob Peterson]] as Roz
* [[w:Frank Oz|Frank Oz]] as Fungus
* [[w:John Ratzenberger|John Ratzenberger]] as Yeti the Abominable Snowman
* [[w:Samuel Lord Black|Samuel Lord Black]] as George Sanderson
* [[w:Dan Gerson|Dan Gerson]] as Smitty and Needleman
* [[w:Jeff Pidgeon|Jeff Pidgeon]] as Thaddeus Bile
* [[w:Bonnie Hunt|Bonnie Hunt]] as Ms. Flint

== See also ==
* [[Monsters University]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=0198781 | title=Monsters, Inc.}}
* [http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/inc/ Official Pixar site]

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Lee Unkrich films]]
[[Category:David Silverman films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Andrew Stanton]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Pete Docter]]
[[Category:Films directed by Pete Docter]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154578</id>
      <parentid>3154576</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:53:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>205.237.131.3</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13472" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Monsters, Inc. logo.svg|thumb]]
'''''[[w:Monsters, Inc.|Monsters, Inc.]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001]] computer animated feature film in which, in order to power the city, monsters have to scare children so that they scream. However, the children are toxic to the monsters, and after a child gets through, two monsters realize things may not be what they think.
:''Directed by [[w:Pete Docter|Pete Docter]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Stanton|Andrew Stanton]] and [[w:Daniel Gerson|Daniel Gerson]], based on a story by [[w:Pete Docter|Pete Docter]], [[w:Jill Culton|Jill Culton]], [[w:Jeff Pidgeon|Jeff Pidgeon]], and [[w:Ralph Eggleston|Ralph Eggleston]]''
&lt;center&gt;'''Monsters, Inc.: We Scare Because We Care.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

== James P. &quot;Sulley&quot; Sullivan ==
* ''[to Mike; silently]'' Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
* Spoons.

== Mike Wazowski ==
* ''[while Sulley brushes his teeth]'' Come on, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

* ''[chants]'' I don't know, but it's been said. I love scaring kids in bed!

* Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in you that makes you look like.... Listen, I need a favor.

* I'm tellin’ you, pal, when that wall went up, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?

== Randall Boggs ==
* ''[after whacking Sulley with a scream canister]'' You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Sullivan!

* ''[about to dispose of Sulley]'' Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid pathetic waste. You've been #1 for too long, Sullivan! Now your time is up! And don't worry. I'll take good care of the kid.

== Henry J. Waternoose ==
* There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you! Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory. Right into the monster world!

* Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

* ''[taken away by the C.D.A.]'' I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You've destroyed this company! Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now?! The energy crisis will only get worse because of you!!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Mike''': I'm tellin’ you, big daddy, you're gonna be seein’ this face on TV a lot more often.
:'''Sulley''': Yeah, like on &quot;Monstropolis' Most Wanted&quot;?
:'''Mike''': Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sulley has insisted on walking to work]''
:'''Mike''': Hey genius. You wanna know why I bought the car?
:'''Sulley''': Not really.
:'''Mike''': To drive it! You know, like on the street, with the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
:'''Sulley''': Wa, wa, wa, wa. give it a rest, Will ya, butterball? Come on, you could use the exercise.
:'''Mike''': '''''I''''' could use the exercise?! Look at you! You have your own '''''climate'''''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Celia''': So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
:'''Mike''': I just got us into a little place called, um... '''''Harryhausen's'''''.
:'''Celia''': '''''Harryhausen's?!''''' But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
:'''Mike''': '''''Not''''' for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quittin’ time, and not a minute later.
:'''Celia''': Okay, sweetheart.
:'''Mike''': Think romantical thoughts. ''[singing]'' You and me, me and you, both of us together!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Can I borrow your odorant?
:'''Sulley''': Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.
:'''Mike''': You got, uh, low tide?
:'''Sulley''': No.
:'''Mike''': How about wet dog?
:'''Sulley''': Yep. Stink it up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': ''[to Sulley]'' Y’know, sometimes I feel so romantic, I think I should just marry myself!
:'''Sulley''': Give me a break, Mike...
:'''Mike''': What a night of romance I've got aheada me! Tonight is about me and Celia! Hoo-hoo, the loveboat is about to set sail! ''[imitates the sound of a ship’s horn]'' I'm tellin’ ya, pal, I see her face and it makes my heart go-- ''[finds himself face-to-face with Roz]'' '''''YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
:'''Roz''': ''[sternly]'' Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
:'''Mike''': Well, as a matter of fact--
:'''Roz''': And I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly.... for once!! ''[silence]'' Your stunned silence is very reassuring! ''[leaves]''
:'''Mike''': Oh, no, my scare reports! I left them on my desk! If I'm not at the restaurant in five minutes, they're gonna give our table away, what am I gonna tell… ''[Celia comes up to Mike]'' Schmoopsie-Pooh.
:'''Celia''': Hey Googlie-Bear, wanna get going?
:'''Mike''': Do I ever? It's just that... Uh...
:'''Celia''': What?
:'''Mike''': There's a small--
:'''Celia''': I don't understand.
:'''Sulley''': It's just I forgot about some paperwork I was supposed to file! Mike was reminding me; thanks, buddy.
:'''Mike''': I was? I mean, I was! Yeah, I was.
:'''Celia''': Okay, let's go then.
:'''Mike''': We're going! ''[whispering to Sulley]'' On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to accounting, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. ''[Celia pulls him away; he comes back]'' Leave the puce! ''[gets pulled away again]''
:''[Later]''
:'''Sulley''': ''[to himself]'' So the pink copies go to purchasing, and the fuchsia ones go to Roz. No, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Man, I have no idea what puce is... ''[looks at some reddish-brown files]'' Oh, that's puce.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Celia''': Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays, well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. What are you looking at?
:'''Mike''': I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
:'''Celia''': Stop it.
:'''Mike''': Your hair was shorter then.
:'''Celia''': Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut. ''[the snakes in her hair look worried]''
:'''Mike''': No, no, I like it this length. ''[the snakes sigh in relief]'' I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful monster was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
:'''Celia''': What did you say?
:'''Mike''': I said-- ''[sees Sulley trying to get his attention]'' Sulley?!
:'''Celia''': Sulley?!?!

&lt;hr width=50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Sulley, the bear! The bear! Give her the bear! '''''WWWWWWHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Randall''': Wazowski! Where's the kid, you little one-eyed crettin?!
:'''Mike''': Okay. First of all, it's crettin! If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top!
:'''Randall''': ''[chuckles nastily]'' You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
:'''Mike''': Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled, like that... and now I'm thinkin’ I should just get out of here.
:'''Randall''': I am about revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working for me.  
:'''Mike''': Well, somebody's certainly been a busy bee.  
:'''Randall''': First I need to know where the kid is, and you're tell me.  
:'''Mike''': I don't know anything!  
:'''Randall''': Uh-huh, sure. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sulley''': ''[is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball]'' Mike?
:'''Mike''': Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
:'''Sulley''': Mike, you don't understand.
:'''Mike''': Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
:'''Sulley''': I'm being attacked!
:'''Mike''': No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a '''''team'''''. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
:''[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]''
:'''Mike''': I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
:''[Randall presses Sulley into a pipe and coils himself around his neck in an attempt to asphyxiate him. Sulley squeals in agony as he tries to pry Randall off his neck]''
:'''Mike''': Come on, pal. If you start cryin’, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now.
:''[Boo whines in terror]''
:'''Mike''': Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
:''[Mike throws a snowball; it hits Randall on the face, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out with a single punch, making him uncoil and slide onto the floor. Sulley catches his breath]''
:'''Mike''': Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's.... Oh.
:'''Sulley''': Come on!
:''[Sulley scoops Boo in his right arm, grabs Mike by the head with his left hand, and flees from the laboratory. Waternoose pops his head from behind the wall as Randall regains his composure]''
:'''Waternoose''': Get up! There can't be any witnesses.
:'''Randall''': There won't be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Waternoose''': This has gone far enough, James!
:'''Sulley''': She's home now! Just leave her alone!
:'''Waternoose''': I can't do that! She's seen too much! You '''''both''''' have!
:'''Sulley''': It doesn't have to be this way!
:'''Waternoose''': I have no choice! Times have changed! Scaring isn't enough anymore!
:'''Sulley''': But kidnapping children?!
:'''Waternoose''': I'll kidnap a '''''thousand''''' children before I let this company die! And I'll silence '''''ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY!!''''' ''[knocks Sulley out of the way]''
:'''Sulley''': '''''NO!!!!'''''
:''[Waternoose lunges at the bed, only to find the simulator robot]''
:'''Voice''': Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated.
:'''Waternoose''': ''[confused]'' Huh?! What is this?! But...! What?! What?! But...! 
:''[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]''
:'''Mike''': Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we? ''[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]''
:'''Waternose''': ''I'll kidnap a '''1000''' children I let this company died!'' ''[starts over and over again]'' But... But... ''[Waternose is taken away by CDA]'' What are you doing?! Get you're ''hands'' off me! you've can't arrest me?! I hope you happy Sullivan, you destroyed company Monsters Incorporated is *dead*! You let the everyone you scream now?! The energy is might you happened in the worse, BECUASE ON *'''''YOU!!!'''''*

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mike and Sulley are walking out of Monsters Inc.]'' 
:'''Mike''': I'm tellin’ you, pal, when that wall went up, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
:'''Sulley''': ''[having had an idea from seeing what Boo's laughing could do]'' Laughs!

== Taglines ==
* Monsters, Inc.: We Scare Because We Care

* You Won't Believe Your Eye.

* We Think They Are Scary, But Really We Scare Them!

* Since the very first bedtime, all around the world, children have known that once their mothers and fathers tuck them in, and shut off the light, that there are MONSTERS hiding in their closets, waiting to emerge! What they don't know is: it's nothing personal. It's just their job.

== Cast ==
* [[John Goodman]] as James P. &quot;Sulley&quot; Sullivan
* [[Billy Crystal]] as Michael &quot;Mike&quot; Wazowski
* [[w:Mary Gibbs|Mary Gibbs]] as Boo
* [[w:Steve Buscemi|Steve Buscemi]] as Randall Boggs
* [[w:James Coburn|James Coburn]] as Henry J. Waternoose III
* [[w:Jennifer Tilly|Jennifer Tilly]] as Celia Mae
* [[w:Bob Peterson (filmmaker)|Bob Peterson]] as Roz
* [[w:Frank Oz|Frank Oz]] as Fungus
* [[w:John Ratzenberger|John Ratzenberger]] as Yeti the Abominable Snowman
* [[w:Samuel Lord Black|Samuel Lord Black]] as George Sanderson
* [[w:Dan Gerson|Dan Gerson]] as Smitty and Needleman
* [[w:Jeff Pidgeon|Jeff Pidgeon]] as Thaddeus Bile
* [[w:Bonnie Hunt|Bonnie Hunt]] as Ms. Flint

== See also ==
* [[Monsters University]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=0198781 | title=Monsters, Inc.}}
* [http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/inc/ Official Pixar site]

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Lee Unkrich films]]
[[Category:David Silverman films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Andrew Stanton]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Pete Docter]]
[[Category:Films directed by Pete Docter]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Replacements (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>11537</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154768</id>
      <parentid>3154279</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:48:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>taglines, scene fix</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6541" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:'''Coach McGinty''': ''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]'' FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I said about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to it right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! You'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah...yeah, I can live with that.
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
      <sha1>nnyci8fif80x5dmxru6u3x2xedkpuee</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154771</id>
      <parentid>3154768</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:55:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6558" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]''
:'''Coach McGinty''': FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I said about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': ''[pointedly]'' Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to it right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! You'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah...yeah, I can live with that.
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
      <sha1>kk8cs4e0dq5pxym15w1akjuaguy9ne0</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154772</id>
      <parentid>3154771</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:04:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>order fix</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6558" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]''
:'''Coach McGinty''': FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I said about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': ''[pointedly]'' Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to it right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! You'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah...yeah, I can live with that.
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
      <sha1>hyhi9t1f7cyzl95ptxitjsbg2mvvqo4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154776</id>
      <parentid>3154772</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:12:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6626" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]''
:'''Coach McGinty''': FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar, after Eddie Martell mocks Brian Murphy and punches Shane Falco]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I told you about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': ''[pointedly]'' Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to it right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! You'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah...yeah, I can live with that.
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
      <sha1>nrr25hrc2xtovpre73a2ctqnugraka9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154781</id>
      <parentid>3154776</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:33:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6764" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]''
:'''Coach McGinty''': FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar, after Eddie Martell mocks Brian Murphy and punches Shane Falco]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I told you about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': ''[pointedly]'' Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to it right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got ''[points two fingers at him]'' TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! And you'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah... ''[looks at McGinty]'' yeah, I can live with that. ''[team applauds]''
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?
:''[Andre Jackson leads players in shoving Martell out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
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      <id>3154782</id>
      <parentid>3154781</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:34:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
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      <text bytes="6766" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to [[The Replacements (TV series)]].''

'''''[[w:The Replacements (film)|The Replacements]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.    
:''Directed by [[w:Howard Deutch|Howard Deutch]]. Written by [[w:Vince McKewin|Vince McKewin]].''    
{{center|'''Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.''' [[#taglines|taglines]]}}   
      
== Shane Falco ==
* I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

== Coach Jimmy McGinty ==
* ''[addressing team]'' Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!   
* ''[closing narration]'' When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

== Dialogue == 
:'''Coach McGinty''': Danny, I need that ball.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': You need the ball.
:'''McGinty''': Get me the ball.
:'''Bateman''': Get you ball.
:'''McGinty''': ''[screaming]'' Are you going to get me the ball? 
:''[They scream together nearly incoherently as Bateman starts taking on an insane look.]''
:'''McGinty''': ''[After Bateman runs onto the field insane]'' I sure hope he doesn't kill somebody.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]''
:'''Coach McGinty''': FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
:'''Shane Falco''': I read Blitz.
:'''McGinty''': Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
:'''Falco''': I read BLITZ!
:'''McGinty''': ''[confronts Falco]'' Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[at the bar, after Eddie Martell mocks Brian Murphy and punches Shane Falco]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Danny.
:'''Daniel Bateman''': Yeah?
:'''Falco''': Remember what I told you about redshirts in practice?
:'''Bateman''': Yeah.
:'''Falco''': Forget about it.
:'''Bateman''': Ok.
:'''Falco''': Hey Martell. ''[punches him]''
:'''Bateman''': Yaaaah! ''[Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Eddie Martell, who's wearing a red shirt]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears but Shane shares his definition of fear when asked by Clifford Franklin]''
:'''Shane Falco''': You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. ''[everybody stays silent]''
:'''Action Jackson''': That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
:'''Coach McGinty''': Anything else you're afraid of?
:'''Clifford Franklin''': Going back to the mini-mart.
:'''Jumbo Fumiko''': Shipping yard.
:'''Walter Cochran''': The auto plant. 
:'''Earl Wilkinson''': ''[pointedly]'' Prison.
:'''McGinty''': Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! ''[players cheer]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[a disagreement between Eddie Martell and Jimmy McGinty nearly gets too up close and personal]''
:'''Eddie Martell''': ''[after the Rev blocks him from charging McGinty]'' Hey what the hell you thinking about? We have a game to play. Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
:'''Shane Falco''': ''[enters locker room]'' I can.
:'''Martell''': Hi Shane, it's great to see ya, now get the HELL OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!
:'''Falco''': Coach?
:'''Jimmy McGinty''': What the hell took you so long?
:'''Falco''': Traffic. ''[players cheer him on]''
:'''McGinty''': Suit up!
:'''Martell''': What?! ''[To McGinty]'' O'Neil will fire your ass!
:'''McGinty''': It won't be the first time!
:'''Martell''': This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to this right now. ''[heads for the locker room exit]''
:'''Nigel Gruff''': Come and get some then! ''[Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell]'' You big fairy!
:'''Martell''': ''[chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.]'' This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got ''[points two fingers at him]'' TWO [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]] rings! And you'll never be more than a replacement player.
:'''Falco''': Yeah... ''[looks at McGinty]'' yeah, I can live with that. ''[team applauds]''
:'''Clifford Franklin''': ''[refers to Martell]'' My brothers, will somebody '''please, PLEASE''' get this asshole out of here?
:''[Andre Jackson leads players in shoving Martell out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:''[As the crowd sings &quot;Ole Ole Ole,&quot; Nigel Gruff cringes as he debates inwardly over the field goal attempt.]''
:'''Shane Falco''': Nigel! Nigel, are you alright?
:'''Gruff''': I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it all down at the track again!
:'''Falco''': What? What are you talking about?
:'''Gruff''': They're gonna take my pub away from me! It's all I've got, Shane!
:'''Sentinels Center''': ''[calls out from the scrimmage line]'' Come on, Shane!

==Taglines==
* Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
* Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
* Hit hard.

== Cast ==
* [[Keanu Reeves]] - Shane Falco
* [[w:Gene Hackman|Gene Hackman]] - Coach Jimmy McGinty
* [[w:Brooke Langton|Brooke Langton]] - Annabelle Farrell
* [[w:Orlando Jones|Orlando Jones]] - Clifford Franklin
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - Daniel Bateman
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|The Replacements (film)}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191397/ ''The Replacements''] on IMDb. 
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/replacements/ ''The Replacements''] at Rotten Tomatoes.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Replacements, The}}
[[Category:2000 films]]
[[Category:Sports comedy films]]
[[Category:American football films]]
[[Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Satanic Verses</title>
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      <id>3154666</id>
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'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' is a 1988 novel by [[Salman Rushdie]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

==About the Satanic Verses==

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
**Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on The Satanic Verses has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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      <id>3154668</id>
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'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' is a 1988 novel by [[Salman Rushdie]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

==About the Satanic Verses==

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the Satanic Verses, a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan goddesses: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manāt|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

==About the Satanic Verses==

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:Relief of the Arabian goddess Al-Lat, Manat and al-Uzza from Hatra. Iraq Museum.jpg|thumb|[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].]]
'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the Satanic Verses, a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan goddesses: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manāt|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

==About the Satanic Verses==

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:Relief of the Arabian goddess Al-Lat, Manat and al-Uzza from Hatra. Iraq Museum.jpg|thumb|[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].]]
'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the Satanic Verses, a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan goddesses: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manāt|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

== Quotes about ''The Satanic Verses''==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. …''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]]. ~ [[Salman Rushdie]] ]]

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:Relief of the Arabian goddess Al-Lat, Manat and al-Uzza from Hatra. Iraq Museum.jpg|thumb|[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].]]
'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the Satanic Verses, a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan goddesses: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manāt|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

== Quotes about ''The Satanic Verses''==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. …''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]]. ~ [[Salman Rushdie]] ]]

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:Relief of the Arabian goddess Al-Lat, Manat and al-Uzza from Hatra. Iraq Museum.jpg|thumb|[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].]]
'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the [[w:Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]], a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan [[goddesses]]: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manāt|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

== Quotes about ''The Satanic Verses''==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. …''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]]. ~ [[Salman Rushdie]] ]]

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:Relief of the Arabian goddess Al-Lat, Manat and al-Uzza from Hatra. Iraq Museum.jpg|thumb|[[Names]], once they are in common use, quickly become mere [[sounds]], their [[w:etymology|etymology]] being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of [[habit]].]]
'''''[[w:The Satanic Verses (novel)|The Satanic Verses]]''''' (1988) is the fourth novel of British-Indian writer [[Salman Rushdie]]. The book was inspired by the life of the Islamic prophet [[Muhammad]]. As with his previous books, Rushdie used [[w:magical realism|magical realism]] and relied on contemporary events and people to create his characters. The title refers to the [[w:Satanic Verses|Satanic Verses]], a group of [[Quranic]] verses that refer to three pagan Meccan [[goddesses]]: [[w:Allāt|Allāt]], [[w:Al-Uzza|Al-Uzza]], and [[w:Manat (goddess)|Manāt]]. The part of the story that deals with the &quot;satanic verses&quot; was based on accounts from the historians [[w:al-Waqidi|al-Waqidi]] and [[al-Tabari]].

== Quotes ==
* &quot;To be born again,&quot; sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, &quot;first you have to die.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot; (first sentence).

* The history of life was not the bumbling progress &amp;ndash; the very English, middle-class progress &amp;ndash; Victorian thought had wanted it to be, but violent, a thing of dramatic, cumulative transformations: in the old formulation, more revolution than evolution.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &quot;Martyrdom is a privilege,&quot; she said softly. &quot;We shall be like stars; like the sun.&quot;
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* No, not death: birth.
** Chapter 1, &quot;The Angel Gibreel&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;Question: What is the opposite of faith?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* A poet's work &amp;hellip; to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep.
** Chapter 2, &quot;Mahound&quot;

* But names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
** Chapter 4, &quot;Ayesha&quot;

* Why speak if you can't manage perfect thoughts, perfect sentences?
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* Information got abolished sometime in the twentieth century &amp;hellip; Since then we've been living in a fairy-story. &amp;hellip; Everything happens by magic. Us fairies haven't a fucking notion what's going on.
** Chapter 5, &quot;A City Visible but Unseen&quot;

* But after a long instant, he [the Prophet] nods. &quot;You have Submitted. And are welcome in my tents.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* And the Prophet said, &quot;Now we may come into Jahilia,&quot; and they arose and came into the city, and possessed it in the Name of the Most High, the Destroyer of Men.
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* Mahound shakes his head. &quot;Your blasphemy, Salman, can't be forgiven. Did you think I wouldn't work it out? To set your words against the Words of God.&quot;
** Chapter 6, &quot;Return to Jahilia&quot;

* &lt;p&gt;For are they not coinjoined opposites, these two, each man the other's shadow? &amp;ndash; One seeking to be transformed into the foreigness he admires, the other preferring, contemptuously, to transform; one, a hapless fellow who seems to be continually punished for uncommitted crimes, the other called angelic by one and all, the type of man who gets away with everything. &amp;ndash; We may describe Chamcha as being somewhat less than life-size; but loud, vulgar Gibreel is, without question, a good deal larger than life, a disparity which might easily inspire neo-Procrustean lusts in Chamcha: to stretch himself by cutting Farishta down to size.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;What is unforgivable?&lt;/p&gt;
** Chapter 7, &quot;The Angel Azraeel&quot;

* A life illuminated by a strangely radiant death, which continued to glow in his minds eye.
** Chapter 9, &quot;A Wonderful Lamp&quot;

== Quotes about ''The Satanic Verses''==
[[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|thumb|Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. …''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]]. ~ [[Salman Rushdie]] ]]

*Do we realise how that hastily-ordered ban has changed India forever? .... When the Government promptly submitted to this illiterate hysteria, it convinced [Hindus] that secularism had become a code phrase for Muslim appeasement.
**[[w:Vir Sanghvi|Vir Sanghvi]]: Liberal first, secular second. Sunday, 27.2.1994, quoted in Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 32-33

*One of the reasons for Islamophobia; in 1989 this book was published maligning, ridiculing our Prophet (PBUH). The west could not understand what was the problem. They don’t look at religion the way that we do. And so; in their eyes Islam was an intolerant religion. It became a watershed. 
**[[Imran Khan]], Speech at the {{w|United Nations General Assembly}}, 2019 &lt;small&gt;[https://www.brecorder.com/2019/09/27/524851/full-transcript-of-prime-minister-imran-khans-speech-at-the-unga/ Transcript online], ''{{w|Business Recorder}}, September 27, 2019.&lt;/small&gt;

*When the Japanese Rushdie translator was killed (summer 1991), spokesmen of the Japanese Muslim community said: &quot;Whoever has killed him, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, at any rate it was his deserved punishment ordained by Allah.&quot; 
**[[Koenraad Elst|Elst, Koenraad]]. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*A consequence of the negationist orientation of the Indian state's religious policy, is the readiness to ban books critical of Islam at the slightest suggestion by some mullah or Muslim politician. It is symptomatic that India was the first country to ban Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, at the insistence of Syed Shahabuddin, MP (in exchange, with some other concessions, for his calling off a march on Ayodhya). 
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

*The [[Ram Janmabhoomi|Ayodhya dispute]] and the Rushdie affair are indeed connected. The ban on The Satanic Verses was part of a package of concessions by the Rajiv Gandhi Government to calm down Syed Shahabuddin, who had threatened a Muslim &quot;march on Ayodhya on the same day when the VHP would hold a rally there.
**Elst, Koenraad. Negationism in India: concealing the record of Islam. 1992

* One prominent Muslim who suffered for The Satanic Verses, notably for protesting against the ban, was Mushir-ul-Hasan, pro-vice-chancellor of Jamia Millia Islamia, the Muslim university of Delhi. He told an interviewer:  &quot;I think the ban should be lifted. I think every person has a right to be heard and to be read.&quot; In his view, the ban &quot;qualifies as an indefensible move,&quot; though he took care to deny any sympathy for the book's contents. Overnight, he became the object of a vicious campaign by most students and some professors at Jamia Millia. Though he buckled, apologizing and saying he never meant to demand the lifting of the ban, he had to stay away from his own university. The day he showed up again, he was severely beaten up and had to be hospitalized. ... Violence most directly related to Rushdie several attacks on his translators. Two of them, the Italian Ettore Capriolo and the Norwegian William Nygaard, were seriously wounded in knife assaults. (In defiance, Nygaard declared at the 1994 Book Fair in Frankfurt that the only correct reply to the terrorists was to stand firm for freedom, and that his way to do this was to translate and publish yet another blasphemer's book, Taslima Nasrin's Shame.) More alarming yet was the lethal attack on Hitoshi Igarashi, a Japanese professor of literature and translator of The Satanic Verses, right on the campus of Tsukuba University in 1991. To the indignation of the Japanese public, Japanese Muslims applauded this killing and declared that &quot;even if the murder was not committed by a Muslim, God made sure that Igarashi got what he deserved.&quot;
**Mushir-ul-Hasan. Quoted in [[Arun Shourie]]'s discussion of the affair: &quot;The Point We Always Evade,&quot; Observer of Business and Politics (Delhi), May 18, 1992; included in his book Indian Controversies (Delhi: ASA, 1993), pp. 363-370. Quoted from : Afterword: The Rushdie Affair's Legacy, The Rushdie Affair; written by Koenraad Elst, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100706162340/http://koenraadelst.bharatvani.org/articles/misc/rushdie.html]

*The [[w:Press Council of India|Press Council]] condemned the pre-publication of some excerpts as &quot;an aberration from the path of ethical rectitude.&quot;
** Press Council of India, quoted in Indian Express (13.11.1190), quoted from Elst, Koenraad (2001). Decolonizing the Hindu mind: Ideological development of Hindu revivalism. New Delhi: Rupa. p. 34

*  '''Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion.''' ''The Satanic Verses'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world...''' ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].'''
** [[Salman Rushdie]], ''Imaginary Homelands'' (1992)

*Mr. Mushirul Hasan's innocous opposition to the ban on ''The Satanic Verses'' has stirred a hornet's nest. He attempted an apology but could not save himself from the hounds. On May 22, the fire-eating Imam of Jama Masjid declared from the pulpit that &quot;anyone who defends Salman Rushdie is defiling Islam.&quot; The students of the Jamia Millia shouted: &quot;Qaum ka gaddar, Maut ka haqdar&quot; (Betrayer of the community, deserver of death). Did Mr. Hasan badly miscalculate? Did he not realise the moral pressures under which he was working? Or, did he think he could brazen it out and earn an instant reputation as a liberal and a progressive without having to pay a price for it? (...) A book like The Satanic Verses is blasphemous and the punishment of its author is death. This was clear from the controversy that followed the banning of the book and the death fatwa by Ayatollah Khomeini against Salman Rushdie. The Muslim world was seized by a paroxysm of hate and demanded his blood. The author had few defenders even on compassionate grounds in his community. Muslims in India were no exception.
**[[Ram Swarup]],  Swords to sell a god, (16 June 1992 in The Telegraph) quoted from [[Sita Ram Goel|Goel, Sita Ram]] (editor) (1998). Freedom of expression: Secular theocracy versus liberal democracy. [https://web.archive.org/web/20171026023112/http://www.bharatvani.org:80/books/foe/index.htm]

*Spring 1989 will always remain as a kind of watershed in intellectual and world history. In February 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini delivered his infamous fatwa on [[Salman Rushdie]]. Immediately following in its wake came short interviews with or articles by Western intellectuals, Arabists, and Islamologists blaming Rushdie for bringing the barbarous sentence onto himself by writing the Satanic Verses. John Esposito, an American expert on Islam, claimed he knew “of no Western scholar of Islam who would not have predicted that [Rushdie’s] kind of statements would be explosive.” That is sheer hypocrisy coming from a man who has published extracts from Sadiq al-Azm’s previously quoted book, that had also dared to criticize Islam.
**[[Ibn Warraq]]: Why I am not a Muslim, Chapter 1

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:English novels]]
[[Category:Criticism of Islam]]
[[Category:Magic realism novels]]</text>
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[[File:West Side Story 1961 film poster.jpg|thumb]]
'''''[[w:West Side Story (1961 film)|West Side Story]]''''' is a [[w:1961|1961 film]] adaptation of the same-titled musical play about two lovers heavily entangled in two rival New York City gangs.
:''Directed by [[w:Jerome Robbins|Jerome Robbins]] and [[w:Robert Wise|Robert Wise]]. Written by [[w:Arthur Laurents|Arthur Laurents]], based on the 1957 [[w:West Side Story|play]].''
{{center|'''Unlike other musicals ‘West Side Story’ grows younger!''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== Maria ==
* ''[sings]'' I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay,&lt;br&gt;And I pity, any girl who isn't me today.&lt;br&gt;I feel charming, oh so charming, it's alarming how charming I feel.&lt;br&gt;And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real.

== Tony ==
* ''[sings]'' I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name&lt;br&gt;Will never be the same to me.&lt;br&gt;Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria&lt;br&gt;And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be&lt;br&gt;Maria - say it loud and there's music playing&lt;br&gt;Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

== Riff == 
* ''[sings]'' When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way&lt;br&gt;From your first cigarette to your last dyin' day!&lt;br&gt;When you're a Jet, let 'em do what they can&lt;br&gt;You've got brothers around, you're a family man!&lt;br&gt;You're never alone, you're never disconnected, you're home with your own&lt;br&gt;When company's expected, you're well-protected!&lt;br&gt;Then you are set with a capital J&lt;br&gt;Which you'll never forget till they cart you away&lt;br&gt;When you're a Jet you stay a Jet.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Schrank''': You hoodlums don't own these streets. And I've had all the rough-house I can put up with around here. You want to kill each other? Kill each other, but you ain't gonna do it on my beat. Are there any questions?
:'''Bernardo''': Yes, sir. Would you mind translating that into Spanish?
:'''Schrank''': Get your friends out of here, Bernardo - and stay out - please.
:'''Bernardo''': Okay, Sharks. Vamonos.
:'''Schrank''': Boy, as if this neighborhood wasn't crummy enough. Now look, fellas. Fellas? Look, let's be reasonable, huh? If I don't get a little law and order around here, I get busted down to a traffic corner. And your friend don't like traffic corners. So that means you're gonna start makin' nice with the PRs [Puerto Ricans] from now on. I said nice - GET IT! 'Cause if you don't, and I catch any of ya doing any more brawlin' in my territory, I'm gonna personally beat the living crud out of each and every one of yas and see that you go to the can and rot there. Say goodbye to the nice boys, Krupke.
:'''Krupke''': Goodbye boys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernardo''': Now I will not say these things to spoil your evening or to hear myself talk. I am here longer than you, Maria...Someday, when you're an old married woman with five children, then you can tell me what to do. Right now, it's the other way around. Now go to bed.
:'''Anita''': ''[To Maria]'' He's the old married woman. ''[To Bernardo]'' You know, she ''has'' a mother. Also a father.
:'''Bernardo''': They do not know this country any better than she does.
:'''Anita''': And you do not know it at all. Girls here are free to have fun. She is in America now.
:'''Bernardo''': Puerto Rico is in America now.
:'''Anita''': Sometimes I don't know which is thicker. Your skull or your accent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': ''[sings]'' Puerto Rico, my heart's devotion,&lt;br&gt;Let it sink back in the ocean.&lt;br&gt;Always the hurricanes blowing,&lt;br&gt;Always the population growing&lt;br&gt;And the money owing,&lt;br&gt;And the sunlight streaming&lt;br&gt;And the natives steaming.&lt;br&gt;I like the island of Manhattan,&lt;br&gt;Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
:'''Girls''': ''[sings]'' I like to be in America,&lt;br&gt;OK by me in America,&lt;br&gt;Everything free in America!
:'''Bernardo''': ''[sings]'' For a small fee in America.
:'''Anita''': ''[sings]'' Buying on credit is so nice.
:'''Bernardo''': ''[sings]'' One look at us and they charge twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[sings]'' Tonight, tonight, it all began tonight, I saw you and the world went away.&lt;br&gt;Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight, what you are, what you do, what you say.
:'''Tony''': Today, all day I had the feeling a miracle would happen, I know now I was right.
:'''Tony and Maria''': For here you are and what was just a world is a star tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[sings]'' Make of our hands one hand, Make of our hearts one heart&lt;br&gt;Make of our vows one last vow, Only death will part us now.
:'''Maria''': Make of our lives one life, Day after day one life
:'''Tony and Maria''': Now it begins, now we start&lt;br&gt;One hand, one heart, even death won't part us now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[sings]'' There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us&lt;br&gt;Peace and quiet and open air wait for us, Somewhere.
:'''Maria''': There's a time for us, Some day a time for us&lt;br&gt;Time together with time to spare, time to look, time to care, Someday.
:'''Tony''': Somewhere we'll find a new way of living.
:'''Maria''': We'll find a way of forgiving, Somewhere.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chino''': ''[about the &quot;Rumble&quot;]'' It is bad.
:'''Maria''': Very bad?
:'''Chino''': You see,...
:'''Maria''': It will be easier if you say it very fast.
:'''Chino''': There was a fight. And Nardo... Somehow, a knife... And Nardo and someone, they...
:'''Maria''': Tony! What happened to Tony?
:''[Chino says nothing]''
:'''Maria''': Chino, tell me! Is Tony all right?!
:''[Chino, out of breath, blurts the truth out]''
:'''Chino''': HE KILLED YOUR BROTHER!!
:''[he runs back downstairs, leaving Maria in the state of shock]''
:'''Maria''': You are lying! ''[runs downstairs]'' Chino! Why do you lie to me?! Chino! Chino! Chino, it's true! You are lying! Why?! Why do you lie to me, Chino?! Chino!
:'''Boy''': Mama! Mama! Bernardo está muerto!
:'''Mother''': Bernardo, muerto?!
:'''Maria''': NO!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the playground near midnight, Maria holds Tony, who has just been shot by Chino. The Jets and Sharks, having heard the gunshot, come in behind them.]''
:'''Tony''': I didn't believe hard enough.
:'''Maria''': Loving is enough.
:'''Tony''': Not here. They won't let us be.
:'''Maria''': Then we'll get away.
:'''Tony''': Yeah. We can?
:'''Maria''': Yes.
:'''Tony''': We will?
:'''Maria''': Yes. ''[sings]'' Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow, someday, some... ''[Tony dies. As she lays him down on the ground gently, the Jets start towards Chino and the Sharks advance towards them].''
:'''Maria''': Stay back! ''[The gangs stop. Maria walks over to Chino and takes the gun from him]''. How do you fire this gun, Chino? Just by pulling this little trigger?! How many bullets are left, Chino? ''[Points the gun at the Sharks, who move back]'' Enough for you? Or you? All of you! You all killed him, and my brother, and Riff! Not with bullets and knives, but with HATE! Well, I can kill now too, because now I have hate! How many can I kill, Chino? How many -- and still have one bullet left for me? ''[Unable to fire the gun, she drops it and breaks down in tears. Schrank and Krupke arrive, and Schrank starts towards Tony's body. Maria runs over and covers Tony]'' DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM! ''[Schrank steps back. Maria gently kisses Tony]''. Te adoro, Anton.

== Taglines ==
* Unlike other musicals ‘West Side Story’ grows younger!
* The Screen Achieves One of the Great Entertainments in the History of Motion Pictures

== Cast ==
* [[w:Natalie Wood|Natalie Wood]] - Maria 
* [[w:Richard Beymer|Richard Beymer]] - Tony 
* [[w:Russ Tamblyn|Russ Tamblyn]] - Riff 
* [[w:Rita Moreno|Rita Moreno]] - Anita 
* [[George Chakiris]] - Bernardo 
* [[w:Simon Oakland|Simon Oakland]] - Lieutenant Schrank 
* [[w:Ned Glass|Ned Glass]] - Doc 
* [[w:William Bramley|William Bramley]] - Officer Krupke 
* [[w:Tucker Smith|Tucker Smith]] - Ice 
* [[w:Tony Mordente|Tony Mordente]] - Action 
* [[w:David Winters|David Winters]] - A-rab 
* [[w:Eliot Feld|Eliot Feld]] - Baby John 
* [[w:Tommy Abbott|Tommy Abbott]] - Gee-Tar 
* Jose De Vega - Chino 
* [[w:John Astin|John Astin]] - Glad Hand

== See also ==
* ''[[West Side Story (2021 film)]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|West Side Story (1961 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0055614|title=West Side Story}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=west_side_story|title=West Side Story}}
* ''[http://www.filmsite.org/wests.html West Side Story]'' at [[w:Filmsite.org|Filmsite.org]]

[[Category:1961 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Films based on plays]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Romantic drama films]]
[[Category:Best Picture Academy Award winners‎]]
[[Category:Robert Wise films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by William Shakespeare]]
[[Category:Films set in Manhattan]]
[[Category:Gang films]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Mummy Returns</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>14407</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154849</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T09:50:32Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="7435" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Arnold Vosloo 2009.jpg|thumb|220px|The creature will suck them dry and then become whole again.]]
'''''[[w:The Mummy Returns|The Mummy Returns]]''''' is a 2001 sequel to ''[[The Mummy (1999 film)|The Mummy]]'' film, in which the mummified body of Imhotep is shipped to a museum in London, where he wakes once again and resumes his quest for absolute power. 
:''Directed by [[Stephen Sommers]]. Written by [[Stephen Sommers]] 

== Ardeth Bay == 
* ''[narrating]'' Five thousand years ago, a fierce warrior known as the Scorpion King led a great army on a campaign to conquer the known world. After a vicious campaign that lasted seven long years, the Scorpion King and his army were defeated and driven deep into the sacred desert of Ahm Shere. One by one, they slowly perished under the scorching sun...until only the great warrior himself was left alive. Near death, the Scorpion King made a pact with the dark god Anubis, that if Anubis would spare his life and let him conquer his enemies, he would give him his soul. Anubis accepted his offer and spared his life. Anubis gave the Scorpion King command of his army, and like an evil flood, they washed away all that lay before them. When his task was done, Anubis forced the Scorpion King to serve him for all time. His army was returned to the sands from whence they came...where they wait, silently, to be awakened once again.

*There's a fine line between coincidence and fate.

== Dialogue ==
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rick''': This is bad, Evy!
:'''Evy''': We've had bad before.
:'''Rick''': This is worse!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': I told you! I told you!
:'''Meela''': And your point is?
:'''Jonathan''': My point is, I told you so you wouldn't kill me.
:'''Meela''': When did we make that arrangement?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rick''': Ok, you're here, the bad guys are here, Evy's been kidnapped. Let me guess...
:'''Ardeth Bay''': Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave.
:'''Jonathan''': I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't your job to make sure that doesn't happen?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ardeth Bay''': ''[to Alex]'' My son, by putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse!
:'''Rick''': ''[to Ardeth]'' You, lighten up. ''[to Alex]'' You, big trouble! ''[to Jonathan]'' You, get in the car.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Imhotep''': ''[in Egyptian]'' The Underworld awaits you!
:'''Evelyn''': You wait! I'll put you in your grave again!
:'''Hafez''': Our thinking was, not if we put you in your grave ''first''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Alex''': Hey. The Book of the Dead.
:'''Meela''': What a bright little child. Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to see her again, you better behave.
:'''Alex''': Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
:'''Lock-Nah''': ''(threatening Alex)'' Silence!
:'''Meela''': Because your parents wouldn't slip poisonous snakes in your bed ''[kisses his cheek]'' while you're sleeping. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Imhotep''': ''[in Egyptian]'' I know you can understand me, little one. So you must listen carefully because ''[in English]'' it is you who are the chosen one. You who will take me to Ahm-Shere. 
:'''Alex''': What if I don't? What if I get a little...lost?
:'''Imhotep''': ''[laughs]'' You are a strange little one. You are your father's son. But I know something you don't. This bracelet is a gift and a curse. The sands of time have already begun to pour against you. 
:'''Alex''': Yeah, yeah. I already heard this part. From the minute I put the bracelet on, seven days do I have before the Scorpion King wakes up. 
:'''Imhotep''': Did you also hear that if you do not enter the pyramid before the sun strikes it on that very morning that the bracelet will suck the life out of you? 
:'''Alex''': ''[shocked]'' That part I missed. Hey, wait a minute, that means I only have five days left!
:'''Imhotep''': And I believe it would be nice trying not to get lost, don’t you?
:'''Alex''': My dad is going to kick your arse!
:'''Imhotep''': Hmm. ''[takes off his mask, smirking; Alex gasps and steps back]'' I do not think so.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Alex''': Are we there yet?
:'''Lock-Nah''': No.
:'''Alex''': Are we there yet?
:'''Lock-Nah''': No.
:'''Alex''': Are we there yet?
:'''Lock-Nah''': No. No, no no no no NO!
:''(Lock-Nah slams his knife into the table between Alex's fingers)''
:'''Alex''': Whoa! That was amazing! Perfect aim!
:'''Lock-Nah''': What are you talking about? I missed.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lock-Nah''': When the time comes, I shall truly enjoy killing you.
:'''Alex''': But until that time, you better be a ''little'' nicer to me. Now where's my water?
:''[Lock-Nah shoves the pitcher of water into Alex's hands]''
:'''Alex''': No ice?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jonathan and an enemy soldier run into a clearing with stones while fleeing undead pygmies]''
:'''Jonathan''': See that?! We're safe, we're safe! See those sacred stones, they'll never cross those!
:'''Shafek''': You are sure?
:'''Jonathan''': Yes of course I'm sure!
:''[A pygmy notices them and attacks, spearing Shafek in the chest]''
:'''Jonathan''': ''[after letting out a shriek of shock]'' Sorry! My mistake!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jonathan''': Pull me up! Pull me up!
:[He sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
:'''Jonathan''': Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down!
:'''Rick''': It's not worth your life, you idiot!
:'''Jonathan''': Yes, it is! Yes, it is!

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==
* &quot;We worked with a guy called Dr. Stuart Smith from UCLA and he’s an Egyptologist. He put all this stuff on tape for us and it’s kind of the closest we can come to what we think the actual language sounded like. It’s like ancient Latin. When we speak Latin now we think it’s what it sounded like, but we’re not really sure. The problem with a lot of this Egyptian stuff is words like ‘look out’ become like 10 lines. Steve would go, ‘No, no, no. Lose the first four words. Say that word and then say the last word.’ So basically, I’d end up making the stuff up.
** Arnold Vosloo ([http://ardethsmistress0.tripod.com/id26.html ''Moviestar'' (German movie magazine) November/December issue 06/2001]

== Taglines ==
* Adventure is reborn.
* He will rise again.
* The most powerful force on Earth is about to be unleashed... by the two people who should know better.

== Cast ==
* [[Brendan Fraser]] - Richard 'Rick' O'Connell
* [[Rachel Weisz]] - Evelyn &quot;Evy&quot; Carnahan O'Connell/Princess Nefertiri
* [[John Hannah (actor)]] - Jonathan Carnahan
* [[w:Arnold Vosloo|Arnold Vosloo]] - High Priest Imhotep
* [[Oded Fehr]] - Ardeth Bey
* [[Dwayne Johnson]] - The Scorpion King
* [[w:Freddie Boath|Freddie Boath]] - Alexander 'Alex' O'Connell
* [[w:Patricia Velasquez|Patricia Velasquez]] - Meela Nais/Anck-su-namun
* [[w:Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje|Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje]] - Lock-Nah

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.themummy.com/ Official Site]
*{{imdb title|id=0209163|title=The Mummy Returns}}


{{DEFAULTSORT:Mummy Returns, The}}
[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Mummy films]]
[[Category:Thriller films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Reincarnation films]]
[[Category:Stephen Sommers films]]
[[Category:Films set in deserts]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Stephen Sommers]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>One Foot In The Grave</title>
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      <id>3154619</id>
      <parentid>3152413</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:29:17Z</timestamp>
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'''''[[w:One Foot In The Grave|One Foot In The Grave]]''''' was a BBC television situation comedy series written by David Renwick, which aired from 1990 to 2000.
RTÉ in Ireland, CNBA1 in Japan, BBC One and Gold in UK.

==Series 1 (1990)==
===''Alive and Buried''===
:'''Victor''': It was Bovril flavour today.
:'''Margaret''': What?'''
:'''Victor''': The empty crisp packet on the front lawn.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Victor''': I'm thinking of compiling a special reference guide: ''The Observer's Book Of Crap On Your Front Lawn.'' Give me something to do in the years ahead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''' Margaret''': ''[On Victor being made redundant]'' What did they say?
:'''Victor''': &quot;Bugger off&quot;, I think was the general gist of it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garage Manager''': Good afternoon. You're...
:'''Victor''': Victor Meldrew the Crimson Avenger!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garage Manager''': Could you tell me what exactly was the problem with the car?
:'''Victor''': What? You mean you don't know what's wrong with it yet?
:'''Garage Manager''': Well, we know what's wrong with it ''now''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margaret''': You've got a whole new life ahead of you Victor. I mean, you've hardly started. Got it all still to come.
:'''Victor''': I know. That's what scares me.

==Series 2 (1990)==
===''In Luton Airport, No One Can Hear You Scream''===
:'''Nick Swainey''': ''(cheerfully)'' Remember me? Nick Swainey, Outwardbound for the Elderly. I called round that day and you told me to piss off.

===''Christmas Special: The Man in the Long Black Coat'' (1991)===
:''[Discussing Victor and Patrick's feud]''
:'''Pippa''': I don't know what to do about him and Victor. I mean, it's one thing to call someone a &quot;tosspot&quot; to their face, but when you go to the lengths of having it iced on the front of a [[w:Thornton's|Thornton's]] Easter egg, I think it's got beyond a joke. I mean, he did put a card in the post as well. No name or address on the envelope, just the word's &quot;To that cretin in the cap.&quot; I suppose it helped him let off steam at the time.
:'''Margaret''': Yes. The irony is, we received it. About the quickest a letter's ever got to us, I think.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Talking about Victor's diet]''
:'''Pippa''': What sort of things does he eat?
:'''Margaret''': ''[disgustedly]'' Anything, of any sort or description. In the most ''hideous'' and ''disgusting'' of combinations. Food you wouldn't put in the same ''cupboard'', he'd happily slice up together on his weetabix. It's like watching non-stop junk mail going through a letter box. I think he lost all sense of taste years ago.
:'''Pippa''': Stomach like a bin liner? ''[Margaret murmers in agreement]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Talking about Pippa's pregnancy]''
:'''Margaret''': You must be thrilled, congratulations.
:'''Pippa''': ''[Sombrely]'' Well, I'm not sure &quot;thrilled&quot; is the word. Wasn't exactly planned. I know I'm supposed to be all glowing and maternal, but when you look round at the state of things, I don't think life is something I'd wish on my worst enemy. And you never know what you're bringing into the world. I mean, look at the people who started out as babies... [[w:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]... [[w:Hawley Harvey Crippen|Dr. Crippen]]...

==Series 3 (1992)==
===''Dreamland''===
''Victor returns from Sainsbury's in a bad mood and interrupts Margaret's coffee morning''
:'''Victor''': Unbelievable! Absolu-...oh, good morning, ladies. ''(to Margaret)'' Can you believe that? They've lost the left shoe! Lost it! And do you know what he had the nerve to...? He said he'd only charge me half price!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mrs Warboys''': Evening, Mr Meldrew. I can't stay long...
:'''Victor''': Right you are. Bye! ''(slams the door)''

===''The Beast in the Cage''===
:'''Victor''': The first 50 miles on the go all the way - your sense of direction - bowling along. Get past 60 and everything slows down to a sudden crawl and you realise you're not going anywhere any more. All the things you thought you were going to do that never came to anything. You can't turn the clock back; it's one-way traffic just gradually grinding to a halt.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[The Honda Song, to the tune of [[w:Cwm Rhondda|Bread Of Heaven]]]''

:There's a bloke we can't stand any longer,
:Always on the bleeding moan;
:Every time we mend his bloody Honda,
:He's back grousing on the phone.

:First we fixed his car's ignition,
:Checked his brakes and clutch, and then
:Overhauled his whole transmission.
:He just brought it back again.

:Victor Meldrew
:Victor Meldrew
:He can stick up his bum (up his bum)
:He can bugger off to kingdom come.

===''Beware the Trickster on the Roof''===
''[After burgling Victor's house, the thieves have phoned to ask how to operate the VCR]''
:'''Victor''': ''[shouting from an open window, wielding a metal coat hanger]'' You callous cold-hearted thieving bastards! Help you with a couple of points?! I'll help you straight onto this point when I see you! I'll bloody well tear your liver out and feed it to the cat, you see if I don't!

Margaret: We can't leave it here (A cow with a back leg slightly damaged)

Victor: No, I'll just slip in the freezer with the beef burgers.

===''The Worst Horror of All''===
:'''Man''': Sloppiness and bad manners just won't do. Do you understand what I'm saying?
:'''Victor''': ''[with poorly concealed menace]'' Yes. Right. I do understand what you're saying, and I'm very sorry.
:'''Man''': ''[contemptuously]'' I should think so.
:'''Victor''': ''[louder]'' Yes, I'm very sorry because I'm afraid I'm going to have to throw your toupee down the drain! ''(does so)''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Victor''': I'm sorry neither of you have managed to master the mechanics of a door handle. That must be very complicated for you with your limited brain power. ''[to the woman]'' Oh, and do forgive me for not getting the fur coat out. Because if you hadn't chopped its legs off, it could have climbed out on its own. ''[to the man]'' You asked me if I wanted to go on working here. Well if it means sucking up to odious bastards like you two every day, then I think I'd rather remain unemployed, thank you very much!

==Series 4 (1993)==
===''Descent into the Maelstrom''===
''Mrs Warboys has returned from the dry cleaner, with a gorilla costume''
:'''Victor''': You must have seen it as a mistake when they brought it out!
:'''Mrs Warboys''': Well, I don't know what your suit looks like, do I? 
:'''Victor''': Well, it doesn't bloody well look like this! I mean where do you think I shop? King Kong at C&amp;A!

===''Hearts of Darkness''===
:'''Nick Swainey''': Wakey, wakey, everyone! It's a beautiful morning! I've just been watching two frogs having sex!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Victor''': I'm sorry, what language are you talking in now? It appears to be Bollocks!

===''Warm Champagne''===
:'''Victor''': And you, you smug-faced bloody vandals!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margaret''': He [Victor]'s the most sensitive person I've ever met, and that's why I love him and why I constantly want to ram his head through a television screen.

''Margaret comes home to find Victor in bed with a strange old woman''
:'''Margaret''': Who is ''she''?! Have you, have you been-?! Tell me you haven't been sleeping with ''this''! Who is ''she''?!
:'''Victor''': ''[confused, stammering for an explanation]'' I, I thought it was you! ''[Margaret's expression becomes one of offended outrage]''
:'''Margaret''': ''[offended] Thank you very much!'' I mean, where did she come from?! And what on earth is she doing? AND WHY THE BLOODY HELL AM I WHISPERING?! This is my bedroom! I mean, this is the end to a perfect week, isn't it?! To come home, and find your husband has taken up necrophilia!

===''The Trial''===
:'''Victor''': WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLOODY HELL?! I ''do not'' believe it! In the name of sanity! I do- well, that's it! That's just about the absolute limit of all bloody time! ''[Victor storms over to the phone and calls a number]'' I mean, what was he- HELLO! I'd like to speak to the manager please, and be quick about it! Meldrew. No, he doesn't but he will shortly! Hello, is that Mr. P.T. Sturgeon? Yes, well it's about a large yucca plant your garden centre delivered to my house this morning. Yes, a young chap, I didn't catch his name, it may have been [[w:Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em|Frank Spencer]]! Well I'll tell you exactly what the problem is, Mr. Sturgeon! I was out the back, working in the garden when he arrived, so I asked him if, for the time being, he'd put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and you know what he's done?! He's only planted it in the pan! Yes, actually ''in'' the lavatory pan, with compost and everything! I mean, how anyone can be so utterly goofy just boggles the mind! A mistake anyone could have made?! Are you stark- I mean, what am I supposed to do, cock my leg against the trunk like a Yorkshire terrier?! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Victor''': What in the name of bloody hell...?! I ''do not'' believe it! ''[Victor pulls a toupee out of the bread loaf, then reads the label]'' &quot;J.L. Dinkins, Hairpieces of Distinction&quot;?! Well, that just about takes the biscuit! I mean, dropping your wig in the bloody baking dough?! I mean, he must have realised it had come off, ''for God's sake''! Well, this is just about it, this is the absolute limit of all bloody time! ''[Victor storms over to the phone and calls a number]'' I mean, what am I going to find next?! A false arm in the French stick?! Glass eye staring up at me out of the coconut meringues?! ''[Victor briefly tries on the hairpiece]'' Absolutely bloody hideous! It'd be much more sensible wearing a loaf of bread on top of your head! How anyone could be so-Hello! Yes, I'd like to speak to the manager please and quick about it! Meldrew. NO HE DOESN'T BUT HE BLOODY WELL WILL SHORTLY!

===''Secret of the Seven Sorcerers''===
''Patrick is dreading going for dinner at the Meldrews' house''
:'''Patrick''': I would ring up and cancel, but I suppose it's be a bit inconsiderate, isn't it, really? Dragging him out of his coffin in broad daylight. I wonder what bizarre aquatic species I can expect in the groin this time. Stingray up the rectum? Perhaps I'll just get off lightly with a couple of barnacles on the foreskin.
:'''Pippa''': Can you see an old dirty floorcloth by the door?
:'''Patrick''': Uhm...yup.
:'''Pippa''': Well, would you mind SHOVING IT in your bloody mouth?!

==Series 5 (1994-5)==
===''The Man Who Blew Away''===
''An injurious Christmas cracker joke''
:'''Victor''': &quot;Question: What's the difference between Victor Meldrew and a chef who keeps dropping his pancakes? Answer: They're both useless tossers!!&quot; Well, that's incorrect. That's not the difference; that's what we have in common!

===''Hole in the Sky''===
:'''Margaret''': Better get ready for bed. If you want me, I'll be in the bathroom sandpapering my breasts.

==Series 6 (2000)==
===''The Dawn of Man''===
[Both on separate phones:]
:'''Patrick:''' Frankly Mr Skinthorpe, what side of bed I got out of this morning is not a matter I consider relevant. The fact is that the Open Sesame Garage door which you installed last week has just jammed for the third time, and as BMW rather short sightedly failed to include a limbo dancing option on the new 300 series, I am keen to learn how you expect me to get the car on the road.
:'''Nigel:''' Yes, I'll tell you precisely what's 'chafing my hide' this morning, Mr Gorrindge. It concerns a majestic 2000 millenium globe which I foolishly ordered from your company for my brother's birthday, which I can't help noticing has arrived with ''two'' Northen Hemispheres.
:'''Patrick:'''If by 'one of our top service engineers' you are referring to that child with the head-full of glue who spent three hours here yesterday wobbling around on a ladder, presumably in an attempt to get his testicles to drop, I was not impressed Mr Skinthorpe.
:'''Nigel:''' Unfortunately not, Mr Gorrindge and whilst a world with two Europes and no Australia may have certain cultural advantages, I'm afraid it doesn't quite fall in with the theory of continental drift.
:'''Patrick:''' Well I can't say with any certainty, Mr Skinthorpe, whether it was Rick or Dave. Although he very sensibly had a ring fitted through his nose like a cow, I'm afraid the name tag seemed to have fallen off. Really? Well how fine and dandy for him.
:'''Nigel:''' Well it depends what you mean by &quot;very noticeable&quot; Mr Gorrindge. Had my brother been horribly blinded by some hideous accident then all our troubles would be over.
:'''Patrick:''' Well please offer him my profound congratulations, Mr Skinthorpe, and tell him to get his arse round here now and finish the job.
:'''Nigel:''' I shall expect a proper replacement in 24 hrs or heads and hemispheres will roll

==Victor Meldrew==

* ''[coming in with chocolate wrappers]'' ''Seven'' chocolate wrappers today. Makes you wander why the bother about funerals anymore. ''[Imitating punters]'' &quot;Grandma's dead, should we bury her? No, I can't be bothered. Just sling her over that bloke's fence. He'll clean it up.&quot;

*I don't believe it!/I do not Believe it!

* ''[Talking about [[w:United Kingdom general election, 1992|1992 General Election]] result]'' I couldn't believe that last election result. It's like hiring a man-eating shark as your children's swimming instructor. ''[imitating parent]'' &quot;Yes, I know it bit my baby's head off last time, but I still think it deserves another chance.&quot; 

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Meldrew Victor Meldrew], from the episode The Beast In The Cage.

*Huh just typical... have you read this? A man in South London was arrested the other day when a dead body was found in the boot of his car. Though interestingly this somehow was overlooked when the car went in for its MOT the day before!

*I mean we were just asking for trouble weren't we? Leaving Mrs Warboys to hold the fort when this arrived (points at massive 50' telly) [imitating Mrs Warboys) It's a whopper isn't it Mr Meldrew.

*Well that just about takes the bloody biscuit. You know that young bloke from down the road and his girlfriend? They were only having sex on the back seat of our car. I forgot to close the sunroof properly. Carrying on bold as you like. They didn't even stop when I opened the door, stark naked the pair of them and he had the cheek to tell ME to go and PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! Said I was letting the whole tone of the area down.

*[In traffic jam. Mobile phone rings:] Hello? What? No we CAN'T bloody well move any further forward. I couldn't give a bugger if you are. 5 yards my foot it's 4 at the most and where's that going to get you anyway? Well you can bloody well LUMP IT THEN CAN'T YOU!?. (Horn honks) And you.

*[In traffic jam.] Yes I've always said that for a really super Bank Holiday treat you've got to go a long way to beat four and a half hours staring up a horse's BOTTOM! [Camera reveals horsebox in front.]

* You mean I was fartarsing about in front of an armed psychopath doing ruddy tai chi excersises jamming my hands in the air like a simpleton I could've ended up with a bullet through my [realises his cap may have got the hole from a rifle]

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:BBC shows]]
[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
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    <title>Talk:Baruch Spinoza</title>
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      <contributor>
        <ip>2003:EE:F33:1700:8988:1A52:F5C0:B502</ip>
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      <comment>/* Ignorantia non est argumentum */Added content / comment</comment>
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==Ignorantia non est argumentum==

&quot;Ignorantia non est argumentum.&quot; 
Translation: &quot;Ignorance is no argument.&quot; 
Source: Ethica ordine geometrico demonstrata et in quinque parses distincta, Part 1, Addendum; Amsterdam, 1677. 

I have not found this particular quote in any paragraph of part 1 in Ethics. I have seen it on the internet more often (even on the BBC Web site), but it seems to me that it is not an actual quote, but rather an idea of Spinoza put in a quick &quot;tag-line&quot;

The closest I could find was:

&quot;We must not omit to notice that the followers of this doctrine, anxious to display their talent in assigning final causes, have imported a new method of argument in proof of their theory--namely, a reduction, not to the impossible, but to ignorance; thus showing that they have no other method of exhibiting their doctrine.&quot;

Source: Ethics
by Benedict de Spinoza (1677)
Translated from the Latin by R.H.M. Elwes (1883)
MTSU Philosophy WebWorks Hypertext Edition

[[User:Mcmvanbree|Mcmvanbree]] 20:08, 20 December 2005 (UTC)

The actual quote &quot;ignorantia non est argumentum&quot; is attributed to Friedrich Engels in Anti-Duhring (Herrn Eugen Dühring's Umwälzung der Wissenschaft (&quot;Anti-Dühring&quot;), Kap. IX, Moral und Recht. Freiheit und Notwendigkeit):
&quot;Worauf wir nur mit Spinoza antworten können: Ignorantia non est argumentum, die Unwissenheit ist kein Beweisgrund.&quot;
[[Special:Contributions/218.186.15.10|218.186.15.10]] 08:36, 21 October 2013 (UTC)

[comment by A.Waschbüsch: 

This is _not_ the first mention. Marx used the phrase in his doctoral thesis 1841 („Differenz der demokritischen und epikureischen Naturphilosophie nebst einem Anhange, Zweiter Teil: Über die Differenz der demokritischen und epikureischen Physik im einzelnen, Zweites Kapitel:
Die Qualitäten des Atoms“, page 285):

„Spinoza sagt, die Ignoranz sei kein Argument. Wollte jeder die Stellen, die er in den Alten nicht versteht, ausstreichen, wie bald hätte man tabula rasa!“

cf.: http://www.zeno.org/Philosophie/M/Marx,+Karl/Differenz+der+demokritischen+und+epikureischen+Naturphilosophie/2.+Teil.+Über+die+Differenz+der+demokritischen+und+epikureischen+Physik+im+einzelnen/2.+Die+Qualitäten+des+Atoms

]

== fantastic ==

This is the best Wikiquote page I've come across. Whoever has done it did an absolutely sterling job. Thanks very much!
: {{unsigned|158.143.186.19}} (15 March 2008‎)
:: '''To aid in the defense of myself against a very few people who have sometimes sought to belittle, remove or destroy my work for some years now, it should be noted that this anonymous comment was made after I had worked extensively on it, and it was [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Baruch_Spinoza&amp;oldid=617063 in this state (+ a few images which have been deleted at the commons)].''' Most of these were removed by people I believe over-zealous to suppress graphic presentations of significant ideas, until recently when I have begun restoring some of the images others had removed in a campaign of leveling and destruction which I found disgusting, but was too busy with many other things to do very much about at the time. Part of the page is also now at '''''[[Ethics (book)|Ethics Geometrically Demonstrated]]''''' (1677), where I have also restored much. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 21:09, 25 January 2014 (UTC) + tweaks
::: Kalki: You are fantastic!!! Just watched the linked version of the 2007 Spinoza page. I hope that you will restore the Spinoza page to the greatest extent possible so that it will become as fantastic as it was in the linked version of the 2007 Spinoza page. I encourage you to do so because you are superb contributor!!! --[[User:P3Y229|P3Y229]] ([[User talk:P3Y229|talk]]) 00:19, 26 January 2014 (UTC)

== Changes made on 2013-08-28 ==

Added &quot;all things excellent...&quot; from the Ethics. Found the correct source and wording for &quot;Peace is not mere absence of war...&quot; (it is in the Political Treatise, not the Theological-Political Treatise). [[User:Grommel|Grommel]] ([[User talk:Grommel|talk]]) 20:41, 28 August 2013 (UTC)
: I extended on that addition, but restored the previous variant on the theme, with mention that it might be an improperly cited paraphrase of the quote provided. ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 04:19, 29 August 2013 (UTC)

== comment ==
I have a comment,
The foreshortened quote inside the image box of the IXOYE cross incorrectly expresses the intent that Spinoza believes in Jesus Christ, which when you take the entire quote into account will see is not the case.as Spinoza says…&quot;the case is far otherwise.&quot;{{unsigned|68.8.177.227}}

: '''I believe that Spinoza, like I myself, certainly believed [[Jesus]] to have been a very real human being, and a clearly [[great]] human being who declared that all who did the will of [[w:Ab (Semitic)|Abba]] (the Father) and simply behaved justly with [[love]] for one another, were his brothers and sisters, and fellow children of Abba.''' Spinoza in his great [[monist]] understandings of many things clearly perceives in Jesus a great [[spiritual]] [[genius]], and the greatest of all [[history]], though he rejects many of the assumptions of those who would embrace or oppose divisive and destructive creeds born of shallow understandings of them, or who would seek to impose them upon others, and often seek to forbid or prevent any respectful attention be provided to any ideas which they do not understand or accept. 

: Spinoza declares: &quot;'''I do not think it [[necessary]] for salvation to know [[w:Christ|Christ]] according to the flesh: but with regard to the Eternal Son of God, that is the Eternal [[Wisdom]] of God, which has manifested itself in [[all]] things and especially in the human [[mind]], and above all in Christ [[Jesus]], the case is far otherwise.'''&quot;

: Here he is addressing errors which shallow, ignorant and confused interpreters of the words and ways of [[Jesus]], (quite often intent on establishing or developing various power and control structures based upon definite ideologies such as can be expressed and formulated in words), have been making for millennia. '''[[Jesus]], at his greatest and best was clearly a very insightful poetic and practical genius who exercised such principles in his magnificent career among mortals in a way as might today be called pragmatic, but were always a ''very'' profound [[pragmatism]], dealing with the ultimate [[nature]] of all things, of [[humanity]] and [[the ALL]] which was ever one, and not merely the shallow selfish and social pragmatism of those most obsessed with personal pleasures, public displays, pomp, pretensions and [[power]] of various kinds. 

: Against the great spiritual tradition of well determined acceptance, [[forgiveness]], and [[grace]] expressed and exemplified by a very great man there have arisen a great many divisive and destructive creeds and ideologies, such as those developed by those who (still filled with much fear and hatred of their fellow beings) would implicitly or explicitly assert that those who do not agree sufficiently with their particular understandings of God and this great man, and such will and attitudes as these understandings engender, are damned and doomed to endless torments and punishments.

: From the start there have been those who opposed and resisted such corruptions, and took measures against them, such as the early apostles and [[Augustine of Hippo]], but much ignorance and confusion persisted and prevailed among many, until such [[heroes]] and [[saints]] as [[Joan of Arc]], [[Francis of Assisi]] and [[Giordano Bruno]] resurrected much of the profound fervor of the Eternal Spirit of [[w:Christ|Christ]] which has always endured and can never perish, and defied established traditions, assumptions, and began to follow the inclinations of their heart more boldly and courageously, rather than bowing down abjectly to the asinine and dictatorial assumptions and presumptions of those who had never developed much awareness beyond their personal desires, fears and hatreds, or had been extensively corrupted to ignore little other than these. '''In the capacity of most of [[humanity]] to clearly and understandingly respect and follow the ever living examples of such great people as [[Jesus]] and [[Spinoza]]''' (rather than any set formulations, such as even Spinoza himself became devoted to creating and ''offering'' to others, in a spirit of [[Liberty]], but NOT imposing upon others with a spirit of intolerant will to dominate over others, without any regard to notions of [[Justice]] but their own), '''may [[True]] [[Eternal]] [[Grace]] ever grow amidst all, and show them the way to ultimate [[Happiness]] and [[Virtue]] and [[Peace]].''' ''So it goes… ~ &lt;font style= &quot;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]·[[User talk:Kalki|†]]·[[User:Kalki/index|⚓]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/font&gt; 16:44, 13 January 2014 (UTC) + tweaks

== Split Template ==

The following split template copied from Wikipedia does not seem to be working. Trying to document the split by UDScott into Ethics (book) 15:16, 13 September 2012 according to [[w:Template:Split_from|Wikipedia Template:Split from]]

{{split from
| page = Ethics (book)
| diff =https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Baruch_Spinoza&amp;diff=10355&amp;oldid=10354
| date = 15:16, 13 September 2012
}}

Also tried a Copy:Template in Baruch Spinoza article's &quot;Talk&quot;, also with no luck.
:[[User:ELApro|ELApro]] ([[User talk:ELApro|talk]]) 00:51, 21 January 2015 (UTC)

== I do not know how to teach philosophy without becoming a disturber of established religion. ==

I can not find a source for this quote, which is attributed to Spinoza many places online. [[User:IOHANNVSVERVS|IOHANNVSVERVS]] ([[User talk:IOHANNVSVERVS|talk]]) 22:56, 8 October 2015 (UTC)
: [[User:IOHANNVSVERVS|IOHANNVSVERVS]], I think this is another translation of Letter 48. According to translation of Samuel Shirley, the quote is this. --[[User:Y-S.Ko|Y-S.Ko]] ([[User talk:Y-S.Ko|talk]]) 01:37, 9 October 2015 (UTC)
:* '''I do not know within what limits the freedom to philosophise must be confined if I am to avoid appearing to disturb the publicly established religion.''' For divisions arise not so much from an ardent devotion to religion as from the different dis positions of men, or through their love of contradiction which leads them to dis tort or to condemn all things, even those that are stated aright. Now since I have already experienced this while leading a private and solitary life, it would be much more to be feared after I have risen to this position of eminence. So you see, most Honourable Sir, that my reluctance is not due to the hope of some better fortune, but to my love of peace, which I believe I can enjoy in some measure if I refrain from lecturing in public.
::: Thank you very much, [[User:Y-S.Ko|Y-S.Ko]]! [[User:IOHANNVSVERVS|IOHANNVSVERVS]] ([[User talk:IOHANNVSVERVS|talk]]) 05:46, 9 October 2015 (UTC)</text>
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  <page>
    <title>'Allo 'Allo!</title>
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[[File:Kim Hartman 2011.jpg|right|thumb|180px|Yes, Herr Flick!]]
'''''[[w:'Allo 'Allo!|'Allo 'Allo!]]''''' (1982–1992) was a TV-series, broadcast on the [[British]] television channel [[w:BBC1|BBC1]]. The show's premise was not to make fun of the war but to spoof war-based film and TV dramas.

== [[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 1)|Series 1]] ==
=== [[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 1)#Pilot: The British Are Coming|Pilot: The British Are Coming]]===
:''[René is trying to work out who is working for the Resistance]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Are you one of them?
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': It was very lonely on the Russian front.
:'''[[w:Monsieur Roger LeClerc|LeClerc]]''': Is he one of us?
:'''René''': No, he is one of them!
:'''Gruber''': Please, do not tell everybody!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The British airmen are cycling along the left side of a road on the way to Nouvion dressed as onion sellers]''
:'''[[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Carstairs]]''': Pretty place France, don’t you think so, Fairfax? Napoleon planted all these trees, you know?
:'''[[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Fairfax]]''': Wonder when he had time to fight any battles?
:'''Carstairs''': He didn’t do it personally, fathead. He had them planted to keep the sun off his troops while they were marching up and down... Do you notice that when ever we pass these peasant people they seem to stare at us in a rather odd way?
:'''Fairfax''': Maybe, because you’re driving a girl's bicycle. 
:'''Carstairs''': Perhaps we’re doing something wrong. ''[A car drives by and almost crushes into them]''
:'''Carstairs''': Fairfax, I think I’ve cracked it. We’re riding on the wrong side of the road!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are admiring their newly stolen treasures]''
:'''[[w:Captain Hans Geering|Geering]]''': It is not much to look at, Herr Colonel. 
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel]]''': Hans, you ignorant peasant, this is probably the first cuckoo-clock ever made. Absolutely priceless. Und this, this is the Fallen Madonna by Van Klomp, which will be worth a fortune after the war. 
:'''Geering''': Is it wise to have it in your office?
:'''Colonel''': Who can see it apart from Helga?
:'''Geering''': Come to think of it, it looks a little like Helga.
:'''Colonel''': You too?

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)|Series 2]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Six Big Boobies|Six Big Boobies]]===
:''[Herr Flick has mixed up the original Fallen Madonna with two forgeries and needs Helga's help to identify the real one]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I have three fallen Madonnas, with six big boobies. Only one of them is real.
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': Only one big booby?
:'''Flick'''. One painting is the original, the other two are forgeries.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#The Policeman Cometh|The Policeman Cometh]]===
:''[Officer Crabtree has just arrived by parachute dressed as a policeman]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I am disgeesed as poloceman so I am oble to move aboot with complate frodom.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick and Helga are in Herr Flick's secret headquarters]''
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': You're looking pensive Herr Flick.
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I'm trying to decide what to do with you tonight. I might take you to the movies.
:'''Helga''': What is showing?
:'''Herr Flick''': Anything we want. Or we could stay here and amuse ourselves. I have a box of sharp needles somewhere. (Helga looks a little nervous) Ah, here they are. 
:'''Helga''': What have you in mind Herr Flick?
:'''Herr Flick''': I have an excellent gramophone, and many records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing. 
:'''Helga''': (surprised) Hitler's speeches, quite amusing?
:'''Herr Flick''': Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René is on the telephone to the communist resistance to ask them to blow up a train]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': How much?! Now look here. It is just one little train. Well surely you could do it for a bit less than that. Is that your rock-bottom price? Well hang on a minute. ''[Puts down telephone, opens the till. Checks cash, and goes back to the telephone]''. No, no, I cannot go to that ''[pause]''. Well how would it be if we supplied the explosives? ''[panics slightly]'' No, no I do not want to leave my name, no, it is just an enquiry!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Helga is standing in a corner of Herr Flicks headquarters]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Let that be a lesson to you. Never again will you burn my toast.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Swiftly and with Style|Swiftly and with Style]]===
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are about to desert from the German army because they failed to destroy a munitions train]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I have good nose.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Yes, yes, you are very handsome...
:'''Officer Crabtree''': The troon carrying the painting has been bummed by the RAF.
:'''René''': Bummed by the RAF?!
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Col. Von Strohm]] / [[w:Captain Hans Geering|Captain Geering]]''': Bummed by the RAF⁉
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': What have the naughty RAF been up to now?
:'''René''': They bombed an munition train.
:'''Captain Geering''': Did they destroy it?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': There were little pisses all over the track.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Herr Flick.27s Revenge|Herr Flick's Revenge]]===
:''[Herr Flick is playing the organ whilst Helga crushes the Captain, the Colonel and René]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': Look! No hands!

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 2)#Christmas Special: The Gateau from the Chateau|Christmas Special: The Gateau from the Chateau]]===
:''[Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering are planning to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen]''
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel]]''': Hans, have you got the weedkiller?
:'''[[w:Captain Hans Geering|Geering]]''': Even better - the chemist gave me a pill containing all his best poisons. You take it with a glass of wine. One drink and... ''[impersonates a dead person]'' all is quiet on the Western Front.
:'''Colonel''': Are you sure it'll work?
:'''Geering''': Yes. I told him it was for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Captain Geering is putting the plan to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen into action]''
:'''Geering''': The Colonel gave you a pill. Where is it?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''':I have the pill in the till.
:'''Geering''': Wheere is the vine for the General?
:'''René''': It is here in this jug.
:'''Geering''': The pill contains a drug.
:'''René''': The pill in the till?
:'''Geering''': Take it and put it in there.
:'''René''': Put the drug in the jug?
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Gruber]]''': (Comes in with the Gateau) We nearly forgot the most important thing.
:'''René''': (panic) Oh, my God! The Gateau from the Chateau!
:'''Geering''': What about the Gateau from the Chateau?
:'''René''': It contains a bomb!!!
:'''Geering''': A bomb in the Gateau from the Chateau???
:'''René''': It is to blow up the General! You must not let anyone light that fuse.
:'''Geering''': But where is the fuse?
:'''René''': It is the candle with the handle.
:'''Geering''': You do not need to kill the General, we have already arranged to kill the General... Do you not see? That if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the Gateau from the Chateau!
:'''René''': Simple plots are always the best.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)|Series 3]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#Gruber Does Some Mincing|Gruber Does Some Mincing]]===
:''[A tailor prepares an outfit for Helga that Herr Flick will find appropriate for the Gestapo Ball]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': We can't have you going to the Gestapo Ball looking any old how.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick sings the &quot;Traditional Gestapo Dance&quot; set to the tune of &quot;[[w:The Hokey Pokey|The Hokey Cokey]]&quot;]''
:'''Herr Flick''': You put your left boot in, you put your left boot out! You do a lot of shouting and you shake your fist about. You light a little smokey and you burn down the town, that's what it's all about! ''[While executing a lopsided turn]'' heil! Ahhh, Himmler, Himmler, Himmler! [While moving hands up and down]

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#The Sausage in the Wardrobe|The Sausage in the Wardrobe]]===
:''[Madame Fanny has been spending forged money in the hat shop]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Crabtree]]''': Good Moaning, I have come to arost your mither.
:'''[[w:Yvette Carte-Blanche|Yvette]]''': Arrest her mother? Why, what has she done?
:'''Crabtree''': She has been pissing fudged bank notes in the hit shop.
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': What does Crabtree say, Yvette?
:'''Yvette''': I think he means &quot;she has been passing forged bank notes in the hat shop.
:'''Crabtree''': Presoasly
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''' (Dressed like Fanny, doing a poor impression of her): Edith, remind him he is supposed to be on our side.
:'''Crabtree''': Who is the ugly old bog in the bed beside your mother?
:'''[[w:Madame Fanny La Fan|Fanny]]''': I have been asking the same question.
:'''René''' (takes off his wig): It is I, Rene.
:'''Crabtree''': My Gid that was a god disgeese, I was complotely decieved by the wog.
:'''René''': Edith, give him 500 francs from the till and tell him to pass off.
:'''Crabtree''': There is no need to be rode.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#The Flight of Fancy|The Flight of Fancy]]===
:''[Herr Flick's car is flattened by a steam roller driven by Captain Geering]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': Who has squashed my Gestapo staff car? 
:'''Colonel Von Strohm''': It was Captain Geering, Herr Flick.
:'''Captain Geering''': ''[Nervously]'' Heil Hilter.
:'''Herr Flick''': This is very serious... The Gestapo is only insured third party.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 3)#Pretty Maids All in a Row|Pretty Maids All in a Row]]===
:''[Edith has 'shot' the two airmen with Captain Geering's gun, then handed the gun back to him]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I was pissing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon; you are clearly the guilty potty.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)|Series 4]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#Good Staff Are Hard to Find|Good Staff Are Hard to Find]]===
:''[Captain Bertorelli has been taken upstairs by Mimi to look at some paintings. Mimi actually intends to kill him]''
:'''[[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Bertorelli]]''': Sigorine!
:''[He staggers down the stairs after Mimi roughed him up &quot;showing him the paintings&quot;, he finially collapses on the floor gibbering, trying to say something to Lt. Gruber]''
:'''Captain Bertorelli''': Whatever you do, don't-a you make a pass at the girls.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Don't worry, he won't.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#The Sausage in the Trousers|The Sausage in the Trousers]]===
:''[Officer Crabtree enters the cafe walking very gingerly]''
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': I am wicking this woo because my poloceman's troosers are full of [[w:Dynamite|deenamote]].

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 4)#The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law|The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law]]===
:''[Edith discovers René and Yvette embracing in the larder]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': René! What are you doing with your arms around that girl?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': You stupid woman? Can you not see she's suffering from claustrophobia? She accidentally locked herself in the larder.
:'''Edith''': But there is no key!
:'''René''': Exactly, that's why she couldn't get out.
:'''Edith''': Oh, the poor child. Oh, it happened to me once. I screamed and screamed, but nobody came.
:'''René''': We thought you were singing.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)|Series 5]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#No Hiding Place|No Hiding Place]]===
:''[René has just survived an attempt on his life by the Communist Resistance, in retaliation for the events of the previous episode]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': He is dead!
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': I am not dead, you silly cow!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René goes to the Gendarmerie (police station) as he continues to look for somewhere safe to hide from Denise Laroque. Watch this on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ovkJn8YAg8 YouTube]]''
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': Service! Is this a police station or a mortuary? (He rings the bell on the counter)
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Crabtree]]''': Would you please stop bonging the bill, or I shall lick you up for disturbing the puss.
:'''René''': Office Crabtree, it is I, René Artois (He removes his false beard). Will you lock me up, please?
:'''Crabtree''': Are you confessing to some cream?
:'''René''': Yes. Cream galore!
:'''Crabtree''': In that curse, you must fill in a foam. Here is a list of creams. I will tick what you have din. Meerder?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Manslaughter|Minslaughter]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Rape|Roop]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Burglary|Biglary]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': Biglary with [[w:Menace (disambiguation)|minaces]]?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': Handbog snitching?
:'''René''': No.
:'''Crabtree''': [[w:Arson|Arsin]]?
:'''René''': What is &quot;arsin&quot;?
:'''Crabtree''': Setting fire to places.
:'''René''': Ah! My life is in danger, so I will confess to all of these things, as long as you lock me up.
:'''Crabtree''': I see. Unfortunately, all the sills are filled to caposity. Could you come back next woke?
:'''René''': Oh my God! Why do I pay rates?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[René has been captured by the Communist Resistance and brought to Denise Laroque. She forgives him]''
:'''[[w:Denise Laroque|Denise]]''': Now, hold me. Kiss me. Crush your lips with my lips, and tell me you will never leave me again.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': (Mumbled, as she kisses him) I will never leave you again.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#The Reluctant Millionaires|The Reluctant Millionaires]]===
:'''[[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]]''': There was a wetness at the bonk.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#A Duck for Launch|A Duck for Launch]]===
:'''Herr flick''': What part of France do you come from?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': I am half Itolioen.
:'''Herr Flick''': Itolioen?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Itolioen.
:'''von Smallhousen''': I think he means Italian.
:'''Officer Crabtree''': I was brought up in Nipples.
:'''Herr Flick''': Nipples?
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Yes. You know the old suing: See Nipples, and do.

===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 5)#Puddings Can Go Off|Puddings Can Go Off]]===
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|General Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': It has come to the ears of the Fuhrer that two of the latest Mark Six landmines are missing from this district. He has of course flown into one of his familiar rages.
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': Has he eaten the carpet?
:'''General Von Klinkerhoffen''': No. But he's done a lot of no-good to a reproduction of the Bayeux Tapestry.
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel Von Strohm]]''': Do you think he has a screw loose?
:'''General Von Klinkerhoffen''': In my opinion, a whole Meccano set has fallen apart in there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Edith asks René for smelling salts but he tells her they have run out]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''':I must put up my nose more mothballs!

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 6)|Series 6]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 6)#Rising to the Occasion|Rising to the Occasion]]===
:''[General Von Klinkerhoffen has just been told by Lieutenant Gruber and General Von Flockenstaffen than the Colonel, Herr Flick and Herr Von Smallhausen are being held to ransom by the Resistance, and has decided they can be sacrificed]''
:'''[[w:General Leopold von Flockenstuffen|Von Flockenstuffen]]''': Piggy old boy, when was the last time you had a holiday?
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': Badenbaden '38. You were both there. We went to a fancy dress ball at the baths. I went as Atilla the Hun.
:'''Von Flockenstuffen''': ''[On the phone]'' Get me the military hospital. Fruitcake department.

==[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 7)|Series 7]]==
===[[w:'Allo 'Allo! (series 7)#A Quiet Honeymoon|A Quiet Honeymoon]]===
:''[Helga arrives at Herr Flick's headquarters]''
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': My spies inform me that the old lady from the cafe and her geriatric husband have been jailed for flying an unlicensed bed in military airspace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Herr Flick wants to interrogate Madame Fanny, who is in jail, by getting Von Smallhausen arrested too]''
:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': What crime will this very common-looking criminal commit Herr Flick?
:'''Herr Flick''': It is not yet decided.
:'''Helga''': Could he not climb into the Colonel's office and steal the petty cash?
:'''Herr Flick''': That is a good idea Helga. My dazzling brilliance is obviously rubbing off on you. As a reward you may kiss me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Colonel Von Strohm is in a bad mood with Von Flockenstuffen and takes it out on Captain Bertorelli]''
:'''[[w:Colonel Kurt Von Strohm|Colonel Von Strohm]]''': Get out, and whilst you're out why don't you kill a chicken and get your hat restuffed.
:'''[[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Bertorelli]]''': Good idea. I go and chase a bird or two. (Pinches Helga's bottom on the way out.)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[General Von Klinkerhoffen is in hospital in a straitjacket. He is talking into the telephone which is next to the fruit bowl when General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber visit]''
:'''[[w:General Von Klinkerhoffen|General Von Klinkerhoffen]]''': Hello Operator. Get me Berlin at once.
:'''Operator''': I'll give you a line and you can dial the number yourself.
:'''Von Klinkerhoffen''': You incompetent idiot. Come back.
:''[General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber enter the room]''
:'''[[w:General Leopold von Flockenstuffen|Von Flockenstuffen]]''': Yes. I hope the General will be well enough to come out for a period of convalescence.
:'''Von Klinkerhoffen''': What is your name, rank and number? Talk to me. If you will not reply I will have you court martialed.
:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Gruber]]''': ''[Aside to Von Flockenstuffen]'' He's talking to the fruit.
:'''Von Flockenstuffen''': On second thoughts, I think we'll keep him in for the time being.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Edith implores René to help Madame Fanny to escape from jail]''
:'''[[w:Edith Artois|Edith]]''': Mama is not well. How will she endure the hardships of prison life? The isolation, the damp, the lack of gin?
'''René''': She is only the local nick. She has not been sent to Devil's Island... Yet, anyway.

== Series 9 ==

=== A Winkle in Time ===
[[Edith Sitwell|Edith]]: &quot;René! What are you doing with that serving girl?&quot;

René: &quot;You stupid woman! Can you not see ... I am eloping!&quot;

==Unknown episodes==
:''[Michelle appears and wants to make sure she and René are alone]''
:'''[[w:Michelle Dubois|Michelle]]''': Is the coast clear?
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': We are fifty miles from the coast! How would I know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''[[w:Lieutenant Hubert Gruber|Lt. Gruber]]''': You were always a Twitcher.
:'''[[w:René Artois|René]]''': I'm still Twitching.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''[[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Helga]]''': Herr Flick, where are you?
:'''[[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]]''': I am behind this screen with von Smallhausen.
:'''Helga''': May I inquire to what you are up?
:'''Herr Flick''': We have taken off our clothes in accordance with the Fuhrer's instructions.
:'''Helga''': What exactly did the Fuhrer ask you to do?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[To Yvette]''
:'''René''': When we are too old to make love, we will make wonderful soup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Madame Fanny''': Even in heaven, they know about my bad legs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Madame Fanny''': An old woman lies here growing weak from lack of nourishment!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Monsieur Alfonse''': Pardon, mademoiselle. I keep forgetting that we Frenchmen have a tradition...of having it off like rabbits.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''(Disguised as a priest during the wedding of René to Denise Laroque)''
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Dearly belivid. We are gathered here todoo to join this min and this women in haley weedlock.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': We will goo oot the bock wee.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': This is rosky in day light. Can you not wait until it is dick?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': A bum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Then they will be taken to the arbour where a small boot will be waiting by the dis-used dick.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': A pissy up a tree?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Officer Crabtree''': Do not wirry, Ronnie...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[On answering the telephone]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Flick, the Gestapo... No, I said FLICK, the Gestapo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[After blowing up the Gestapo staff car]''
:'''Herr Flick''': I will not be informing Berlin of this incident. I do not wish to look a right nana.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[To Helga, who is trying to break an eggshell]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Hit it hard with your spoon. They always break in the end.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Helga has given Herr Flick a passionate kiss]''
:'''Herr Flick''': Six out of Ten.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[On the telephone to Himmler]''
:'''Herr Flick''': But uncle, you cannot expect me to shoot everyone in the town. I'm unpopular enough as it is!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Captain Bertorelli''': Hey! Where's all the beautiful girls?

==Common phrases==
=== [[w:René Artois|René Artois]] ===
* (To Edith) You stupid woman!
* (To Madame Fanny) Shut up, you (silly) old bat.
* You may wonder what I am doing....
* Oh Yvette!

=== [[w:Edith Artois|Edith Artois]] ===
* René! What are you doing with that woman?
* René! What are you doing, holding that poor servant-girl in your arms?

=== [[w:Yvette Carte-Blanche|Yvette Carte-Blanche]] ===
[[File:Vicki Michelle.JPG|right|thumb|180px|Ooooh, Rrrrenéééé!]]
* Ooooh, Rrrrenéééé!

===[[w:Madame Fanny La Fan|Madame Fanny La Fan]]===
* Edith! Yvette! Maria/Mimi! Oh! Does nobody hear the cries of an poor old woman!?
* Ze flashing knobs, ze flashing knobs!! (in later seasons, Leclerc often comes out from the bedclothes)
* Not the onion soup!

=== [[w:Michelle Dubois|Michelle Dubois]]===
* Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.
* Can you do nothing right?!

=== [[w:Monsieur Alfonse|Monsieur Alfonse]] ===
* Monsieur Alfonse, undertaker - Swiftly, and with style.
* Ze small hearse with ze small horse.
* Ohhh... my dicky ticker!
* I love you, I love you! (running after Madame Edith and pinching her bum)

=== [[w:Monsieur Roger LeClerc|Leclerc]] ===
* It is I, Leclerc!
Variant:
* Leclerc: It is I, Leclerc, man of a thousand faces!
* René: All of them the same.

=== [[w:Private Helga Geerhart|Private Helga Geerhart]] ===
* May I kiss you?
* Yes, Herr Flick!
* Go away!
* [at the top of her voice] GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!

=== [[w:Officer Crabtree|Officer Crabtree]] ===
* Gid moaning.
* I have bad nose.
* I have a massage from Michelle.
* I was pissing by the door...
* I was in the poop
* Hole Hotler!

=== [[w:Herr Otto Flick|Herr Flick]] ===
* Take off your clothes.
* You may kiss me!
* Flick ze Gestapo... no, I said FLICK ze Gestapo!
* Give me my powerful Gestapo binoculars.
* You vill dress as a woman of the opposite sex

=== [[w:Captain Alberto Bertorelli|Captain Alberto Bertorelli]] ===
* What-a mistake-a to make-a
* Da a beautiful laidy i-a kiss-a your hand
* Heil-a Mussolini! (in response to General Von Klinkerhoffen's &quot;Heil Hitler&quot;)
* My heart goes boom-titi-boom... titi-boom
* Colonnello! (kisses Von Strohm on his bald head)
* Ow are you getting on, ey?

=== [[w:Captain Hans Geering|Captain Hans Geering]] ===
* 'tler! (pronouncing only the last third of &quot;Heil Hitler!&quot;)

=== [[w:Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs|Lt. Fairfax and Lt. Carstairs]] ===
* Hello! (when they come out of hiding)
* (Jolly) good show!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Gorden Kaye|Gorden Kaye]] - René Artois - deceased
* [[w:Carmen Silvera|Carmen Silvera]] - Edith Artois - deceased
* [[w:Vicki Michelle|Vicki Michelle]] - Yvette Carte-Blanche
* [[w:Francesca Gonshaw|Francesca Gonshaw]] - Maria Recamier
* [[w:Rose Hill|Rose Hill]] - Fanny La Fan - deceased
* [[w:Sue Hodge|Sue Hodge]] - Mimi Labonq
* [[w:Jack Haig|Jack Haig]] - Roger LeClerc - deceased
* [[w:Robin Parkinson|Robin Parkinson]] - Ernest LeClerc - deceased
* [[w:Kirsten Cooke|Kirsten Cooke]] - Michelle Dubois from the Resistance
* [[w:Kenneth Connor|Kenneth Connor]] - Monsieur Alphonse(undertaker)- deceased
* [[w:Hilary Minster|Hilary Minster]] - General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen- deceased
* [[w:Richard Marner|Richard Marner]] - Col. Kurt von Strohm - deceased
* [[w:Guy Siner|Guy Siner]] - Lt. Hubert Gruber
* [[w:Kim Hartman|Kim Hartman]] - Pvt./LCpl. Helga Geerhart
* [[w:Sam Kelly|Sam Kelly]] - Captain Hans Geering - deceased
* [[w:Richard Gibson|Richard Gibson]] - Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo
* [[w:John Louis Mansi|John Louis Mansi]] - Bobby Cedric Von Smallhousen(also from the Gestapo) - deceased
* [[w:Gavin Richards|Gavin Richards]] - Captain Alberto Bertorelli
* [[w:Arthur Bostrom|Arthur Bostrom]] - Officer Crabtree
* [[w:John D. Collins|John D. Collins]] - British airman Gavin Fairfax
* [[w:Nicholas Frankau|Nicholas Frankau]] - British airman Bumbley Carstairs

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
* {{imdb title|id=0086659|title='Allo 'Allo!}}

[[Category:BBC shows]]
[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Nazis in television]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>1dhukxqiygjacwq0w37lkr2id14zlby</sha1>
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  <page>
    <title>August 15</title>
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    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:25:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add 1</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="44777" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;15&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:August 15|August 15]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2003
: Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. ~ [[Harry Emerson Fosdick]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: ''Where is the Life we have lost in living? &lt;br&gt; Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? &lt;br&gt; Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[T. S. Eliot]] ~
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (born 15 August 1872), also [[w:History of the Republic of India|Independence Day of India]] (15 August 1947)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2006
: Call for the grandest of all earthly spectacles, what is that? It is the sun going to his rest. Call for the grandest of all human sentiments, what is that? It is that man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. ~ [[Thomas De Quincey]] (born 15 August 1785)
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2007
: The aggressive and quite illogical idea of a single religion for all mankind, a religion universal by the very force of its narrowness, one set of dogmas, one cult, one system of ceremonies, one ecclesiastical ordinance, one array of prohibitions and injunctions which all minds must accept on peril of persecution by men and spiritual rejection or eternal punishment by God, that grotesque creation of human unreason which has been the parent of so much intolerance, cruelty and obscurantism and aggressive fanaticism, has never been able to take firm hold of the Indian mentality. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (date of birth, and the 60th Independence day of India)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; ranked this higher for this year as something on India for it's 60th Independence Day, but I am still looking for more from Aurobindo... amidst other tasks.
* 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: A form of government that is not the result of a long sequence of shared experiences, efforts, and endeavors can never take root. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: The supreme truths are neither the rigid conclusions of logical reasoning nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the soul's inner experience. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 08:22, 14 August 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 01:04, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Would make a good text-book definition for existentialism, now that I think about it.'' --&gt;

; 2010
: If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] &lt;!-- I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because in the end, fate and destiny has always been a major part of mythological and mysterious analogies, and more importantly, in Greek teachings, has given the basis that no one can escape from their fate. This works especially well in the case of Napoleon, who overestimated his chances and ended up with failure against Russia and in the long run, in complete exile, brilliantly maneuvered to the very fate which had sealed him historic.[[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC) though leaning toward a 3 or even a 4, &lt;/s&gt;but would extend this to begin with &quot;If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. ...&quot;
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As an interesting side-note, this relates strongly to a lot of Arabic / Islamic philosophy. It really is a healthy / pragmatic way to look at life in a lot of situations, but the association with Napoleon may tint this particular quote too strongly.'' --&gt;

; 2011
: True spirituality rejects no new light, no added means or materials of our human self-development. It means simply to keep our centre, our essential way of being, our inborn nature and assimilate to it all we receive, and evolve out of it all we do and create. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:57, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2012
{{quote of the day
| quote = The supreme [[Truth|truths]] are neither the rigid conclusions of [[Logic|logical]] [[Reason|reasoning]] nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the [[soul]]'s inner [[experience]]. [[Intellect|Intellectual]] truth is only one of the [[Door|doors]] to the outer precincts of the temple. And since intellectual truth turned towards the [[Infinite]] must be in its very nature many-sided and not narrowly one, the most varying intellectual [[Belief|beliefs]] can be equally true because they mirror different facets of the Infinite. However separated by intellectual distance, they still form so many side-entrances which admit the mind to some faint ray from a supreme [[Light]]. There are no true and false [[religions]], but rather all religions are true in their own way and degree. Each is one of the thousand paths to the [[the All|One Eternal]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:26, 9 August 2012 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) (although the first sentence of this has already been used, and thus would prefer many others prior to this one.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

;; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Spirituality]] is much wider than any particular [[religion]], and in the larger [[ideas]] of it that are now coming on us even the [[greatest]] religion becomes no more than a broad sect or branch of the one [[Universalism|universal]] religion, by which we shall [[understand]] in the [[future]] man's seeking for the [[eternal]], the divine, the greater [[self]], the source of [[unity]] and his attempt to arrive at some equation, some increasing approximation of the [[values]] of [[human]] [[life]] with the eternal and the divine values.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:35, 12 August 2013 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. &lt;!-- Truth,—''Satya'', ''Dharma'' —Virtue, these ought to be the controlling [[principles]] of all those who work under this Flag. --&gt; ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. … &lt;!-- [[Philosophers]] must be kings. --&gt; Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be [[Devotion|dedicated]] [[spirits]] … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]].
| author = Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]]

&lt;!-- We are putting in the centre the [[white]], the white of the [[Sun]]’s [[rays]]. The white means the path of [[light]]...the [[orange]], the ''Bhaguwa'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. [[Philosophers]] must be kings. Our leaders must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits...the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[w:Plant life|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]...Thus [[w:Indian National Flag|flag]] tells us ‘Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a free, flexible, [[compassionate]], [[w:Decent|decent]], [[w:Democratic society|democratic society]] on which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] [[w:Shelter|shelter]]. Let us all unite under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the ideas our flag symbolizes. ~ [[Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan]]

*4 For the special occasion of [[w:Independence Day (India)|Independence Day (India)]] on 15 August. --[[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]] ([[User talk:Nvvchar|talk]]) 08:40, 5 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:32, 13 August 2014 (UTC), but I have looked over a few different translations or renditions of this, and would extend it and alter it slightly to read:
:: [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]… Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]]. --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Hinduism|This Sanatana]] [[Dharma]] has many scriptures: The [[Vedas|Veda]], the [[Vedanta]], the [[Bhagavad Gita|Gita]], the [[Upanishads]], the Darshanas, the [[Puranas]], the [[Tantras]], nor could it reject the [[Bible]] or the [[Quran|Koran]], but its [[real]], the most authoritative scripture is in the [[heart]] in which the [[Eternal]] has his dwelling.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:39, 14 August 2015 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[All]] [[religions]] have some [[truth]] in them, but none has the [[whole]] truth; all are created in [[time]] and finally decline and [[perish]]. [[Mahomed]] himself never [[pretended]] that the [[Koran]] was the last message of [[God]] and there would be no other. God and Truth outlast these religions and manifest themselves anew in whatever way or form the [[Divine]] [[Wisdom]] [[chooses]]. You cannot shut up God in the limitations of your own narrow [[brain]] or dictate to the Divine [[Power]] and [[Consciousness]] how or where or through whom it shall manifest; you cannot put up your puny barriers against the divine [[Omnipotence]]. These again are simple truths which are now being recognised all over the [[world]]; only the childish in [[mind]] or those who vegetate in some formula of the [[past]] [[deny]] them.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:15, 12 August 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Whatever [[plans]] we may make, we shall find quite useless when the [[time]] for [[action]] comes. [[Revolutions]] are always full of [[surprises]], and whoever thinks he can play [[chess]] with a revolution will soon find how terrible is the grasp of [[God]] and how insignificant the [[human]] [[reason]] before the whirlwind of His breath. That man only is likely to dominate the chances of a Revolution, who makes no plans but preserves his [[heart]] [[pure]] for the [[will]] of God to declare itself. The [[great]] [[rule]] of [[life]] is to have no schemes but one unalterable [[purpose]]. If the will is fixed on the purpose it sets itself to accomplish, then [[circumstances]] will suggest the [[Righteousness|right course]]; but the schemer finds himself always tripped up by the unexpected.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 15 August 2017 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The highest [[spirituality]] indeed moves in a [[free]] and wide air far above that lower stage of seeking which is [[governed]] by [[religious]] form and [[dogma]]; it does not easily bear their limitations and, even when it admits, it [[transcends]] them; it lives in an [[experience]] which to the formal religious [[mind]] is unintelligible.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:58, 14 August 2018 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Indian]] [[religion]] has always felt that since the [[minds]], the temperaments and the [[intellectual]] affinities of [[Humans|men]] are unlimited in their [[variety]], a [[perfect]] [[liberty]] of [[thought]] and of [[worship]] must be allowed to the individual in his approach to the [[Infinite]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 14 August 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; What are we? What is the [[future]]? What is the [[past]]? What [[magic]] fluid envelops us and hides from us the things it is most [[important]] for us to [[know]]? We are [[born]], we [[live]], and we [[die]] in the midst of the [[marvelous]].
| author = Napoleon I of France
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:45, 15 August 2020 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; It is the [[nature]] of [[human]] [[institutions]] to degenerate, to lose their vitality, and decay, and the first sign of decay is the loss of flexibility and oblivion of the [[essential]] [[spirit]] in which they were conceived. The spirit is permanent, the [[body]] [[changes]]; and a body which refuses to change must [[die]]. The spirit expresses itself in many ways while itself remaining essentially the same but the body must change to suit its changing [[environments]] if it wishes to [[live]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 02:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2022 : ''[[August 15|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
Ranking system:
:4 : '''Excellent''' - should definitely be used.
:3 : '''Very Good''' - strong desire to see it used.
:2 : '''Good''' - some desire to see it used.
:1 : '''Acceptable''' - but with no particular desire to see it used.
:0 : '''Not acceptable''' - not appropriate for use as a quote of the day.
----
----
== Suggestions ==

India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only. ~ [[Mark Twain]] in honour of the [[India]] independence day
* 3 ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 06:40, 20 July 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:AllanHainey|AllanHainey]] 12:00, 26 July 2005 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
* Comment: I could not find this quote on the [[Mark Twain]] page. Jedi3.

----

This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast — man's laws, not God's — and if you cut them down — and you're just the man to do it — d'you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake. ~ [[Robert Bolt]] (born August 15, 1924)
: {{unsigned|BD2412}}
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:31, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 10:54, 13 January 2018 (UTC) but I would extend this to include the immediately preceding dialogue leading up to &quot;And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you—where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat?&quot;

----

Since one must take sides, one might as well choose the side that is victorious, the side which devastates, loots, and burns. Considering the alternative, it is better to eat than to be eaten. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because it is always the victor who smiles and the vanquished who remains guilty. Truly, enigmatically, it is better to eat than be eaten, complete ideology of darwinism defined and a very militant persona to embody, which I myself believe holds powerful enthralling magnetism and high moral standards. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As I said for a quote on the 14th, &quot;The same sentiment has been stated much more &quot;pleasingly&quot; (for grievous lack of a better word).&quot;

----

A king is sometimes obliged to commit crimes; but they are the crimes of his position. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because the rank of king in itself is characterized as a crime. Very magnificent explanation of blame toward the highest rank. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

A picture is worth a thousand words. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions are always speak louder than words, and as such, similarly, an image speaks a thousand words in a thousand ways. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; reduced ranking, as this is likely the paraphrasing of an expressed thought with the modern english proverb; would prefer to use: &quot;A good sketch is better than a long speech.&quot; which I have suggested below.
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Is this, in fact, originally Napoleon's quote? It's unsourced in his article, and I think it's slightly inappropriate and POV as QOTD to ascribe an ancient / anonymous quote to a particular historical figure.''

----

Better to have a known enemy than a hidden ally. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 4 because this is very true and holds high moral value...the hidden is always more dangerous than that which we can see. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:55, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; tactical reduction — though there is merit to the observation, I am not inclined to rank it among the best of the quotes available, and would rank many others by Napoleon far higher.
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''I definitely don't think this is &quot;very true.&quot; I could give some examples, but this isn't the place for discourse. There's definitely a problem with quotes that seem to have &quot;lyrical validity&quot; and are thus accepted, when in fact, in the real world it is rather obvious that the opposite is true. There may be some &quot;wisdom&quot; gained in looking at the world in such a way for a moment, but often upon realistic observation, they prove absurd. I choose the guardian angel....''

----

Cruelty can only be justified by necessity. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because this is very true, where cruelty has become a standardized rationale for human behavior and necessity has been entangled as one of its most dominating excuses. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''This would be a really good quote if Napoleon then said something about the epistemological uncertainty and dubious nature of necessity.''

----

In victory, you deserve Champagne; in defeat, you need it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because sometimes a drink can truly calm one in a moment of defeat. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Perfect (text-book) addictive mindset! I'm not sure what to give this one, it's important for a much different reason that Zarbon posits.''

----

Speeches pass away, but acts remain. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions truly speak louder than words. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''There are quite a few ancient figures that we have fragments extant of what they said, but know little, if anything, of what they did. That doesn't, in any way, defeat the idea &quot;actions speak louder than words,&quot; but it is related.''

----

The bullet that will kill me is not yet cast. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because perseverence and dominating are very admirable qualities, and believing that nothing will topple you is key to determination. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

If all the world must see the world&lt;br&gt;As the world the world hath seen,&lt;br&gt;Then it were better for the world&lt;br&gt;That the world had never been. ~ [[Charles Godfrey Leland]]
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:36, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

More glorious to merit a sceptre than to possess one. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

Those who are free from common prejudices acquire others. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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The barbarous custom of having men beaten who are suspected of having important secrets to reveal must be abolished. It has always been recognized that this way of interrogating men, by putting them to torture, produces nothing worthwhile. The poor wretches say anything that comes into their mind and what they think the interrogator wishes to know. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Whatever misanthropists may say, ingrates and the perverse are exceptions in the human species. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Destiny urges me to a goal of which I am ignorant. Until that goal is attained I am invulnerable, unassailable. When Destiny has accomplished her purpose in me, a fly may suffice to destroy me. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

I am the instrument of providence, she will use me as long as I accomplish her designs, then she will break me like a glass. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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War is becoming an anachronism … There are two systems, the past and the future. The present is only a painful transition. Which must triumph? The future, will it not? Yes indeed, the future! That is, intelligence, industry, and peace. The past was brute force, privilege, and ignorance. Each of our victories was a triumph for the ideas of the Revolution. Victories will be won, one of these days, without cannon, and without bayonets. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The fool has one great advantage over a man of sense — he is always satisfied with himself. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----
A good sketch is better than a long speech. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is not that addresses at the opening of a battle make the soldiers brave. The old veterans scarcely hear them, and recruits forget them at the first boom of the cannon. Their usefulness lies in their effect on the course of the campaign, in neutralizing rumors and false reports, in maintaining a good spirit in the camp, and in furnishing matter for camp-fire talk. The printed order of the day should fulfill these different ends. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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In order not to be astonished at obtaining victories, one ought not to think only of defeats. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Nothing is so contrary to military rules as to make the strength of your army known, either in the orders of the day, in proclamations, or in the newspapers. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

There is nothing so imperious as feebleness which feels itself supported by force. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is not necessary to prohibit or encourage oddities of conduct which are not harmful. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Courage cannot be counterfeited. It is one virtue that escapes hypocrisy. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----
There is only one favorable moment in war; talent consists in knowing how to seize it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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In a battle, as in a siege, the art consists in concentrating very heavy fire on a particular point. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is only by prudence, wisdom, and dexterity, that great ends are attained and obstacles overcome. Without these qualities nothing succeeds. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The man fitted for affairs and authority never considers individuals, but things and their consequences. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Parties weaken themselves by their fear of capable men. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The superior man is never in anyone's way. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

One must indeed be ignorant of the methods of genius to suppose that it allows itself to be cramped by forms. Forms are for mediocrity, and it is fortunate that mediocrity can act only according to routine. Ability takes its flight unhindered. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The laws of circumstance are abolished by new circumstances. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

One can lead a nation only by helping it see a bright outlook. A leader is a dealer in hope. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is often in the audacity, in the steadfastness, of the general that the safety and the conservation of his men is found. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Imagination governs the world. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Lead the ideas of your time and they will accompany and support you; fall behind them and they drag you along with them; oppose them and they will overwhelm you. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

All great events hang by a hair. The man of ability takes advantage of everything and neglects nothing that can give him a chance of success; whilst the less able man sometimes loses everything by neglecting a single one of those chances ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The whole world yearns after freedom, yet each creature is in love with his chains; this is the first paradox and inextricable knot of our nature. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

None can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.&lt;p&gt; This too the traveller of the worlds must dare. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

All can be done if the god-touch is there. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

''All things are real that here are only dreams, &lt;br&gt;In our unknown depths sleeps their reserve of truth, &lt;br&gt;On our unreached heights they reign and come to us &lt;br&gt;In thought and muse trailing their robes of light.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Even soul-force, when it is effective, destroys. Only those who have used it with eyes open, know how much more destructive it can be than the sword and the cannon; and only those who do not limit their view to the act and its immediate results, can see how tremendous are its after-effects, how much is eventually destroyed and with that much all the life that depended upon it and fed upon it. Evil cannot perish without the destruction of much that lives by the evil, and it is no less destruction even if we personally are saved the pain of a sensational act of violence. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

What I cannot do now is the sign of what I shall do hereafter. The sense of impossibility is the beginning of all possibilities. Because this temporal universe was a paradox and an impossibility, therefore the Eternal created it out of His being. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Evolution is not finished; reason is not the last word nor the reasoning animal the supreme figure of Nature. As man emerged out of the animal, so out of man the superman emerges. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Thought is not essential to existence nor its cause, but it is an instrument for becoming; I become what I see in myself. All that thought suggests to me, I can do; all that thought reveals in me, I can become. This should be man's unshakable faith in himself, because God dwells in him. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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There are two allied powers in man; knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is so much of the truth seen in a distorted medium as the mind arrives at by groping, wisdom what the eye of divine vision sees in the spirit. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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If a religion is not universal, it cannot be eternal. A narrow religion, a sectarian religion, an exclusive religion can live only for a limited time and a limited purpose. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

Spirituality is not necessarily exclusive; it can be and in its fullness must be all-inclusive. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

----

Do not be afraid of obstacles in your path, it does not matter how great the forces are that stand in your way.... Do not think that anything is impossible when miracles are being worked on every side. If you are true to yourself there is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing unattainable by truth, love and faith. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 --[[User:Jedi3|Jedi3]] ([[User talk:Jedi3|talk]]) 08:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)

----

{{quote of the day
| quote = Those who oppose the novel most vociferously today are of the opinion that intermingling with a different culture will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the transformation that comes of new and unexpected combinations of human beings, cultures, ideas, politics, movies, songs. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the absolutism of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the world. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world... ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a love song to our mongrel selves.
| author = Salman Rushdie
}}
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 14 August 2022 (UTC); in regard of the recent physical attack upon him.

----

&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
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      <text bytes="44686" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;15&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:August 15|August 15]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2003
: Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. ~ [[Harry Emerson Fosdick]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: ''Where is the Life we have lost in living? &lt;br&gt; Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? &lt;br&gt; Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[T. S. Eliot]] ~
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (born 15 August 1872), also [[w:History of the Republic of India|Independence Day of India]] (15 August 1947)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2006
: Call for the grandest of all earthly spectacles, what is that? It is the sun going to his rest. Call for the grandest of all human sentiments, what is that? It is that man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. ~ [[Thomas De Quincey]] (born 15 August 1785)
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2007
: The aggressive and quite illogical idea of a single religion for all mankind, a religion universal by the very force of its narrowness, one set of dogmas, one cult, one system of ceremonies, one ecclesiastical ordinance, one array of prohibitions and injunctions which all minds must accept on peril of persecution by men and spiritual rejection or eternal punishment by God, that grotesque creation of human unreason which has been the parent of so much intolerance, cruelty and obscurantism and aggressive fanaticism, has never been able to take firm hold of the Indian mentality. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (date of birth, and the 60th Independence day of India)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; ranked this higher for this year as something on India for it's 60th Independence Day, but I am still looking for more from Aurobindo... amidst other tasks.
* 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: A form of government that is not the result of a long sequence of shared experiences, efforts, and endeavors can never take root. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: The supreme truths are neither the rigid conclusions of logical reasoning nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the soul's inner experience. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 08:22, 14 August 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 01:04, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Would make a good text-book definition for existentialism, now that I think about it.'' --&gt;

; 2010
: If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] &lt;!-- I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because in the end, fate and destiny has always been a major part of mythological and mysterious analogies, and more importantly, in Greek teachings, has given the basis that no one can escape from their fate. This works especially well in the case of Napoleon, who overestimated his chances and ended up with failure against Russia and in the long run, in complete exile, brilliantly maneuvered to the very fate which had sealed him historic.[[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC) though leaning toward a 3 or even a 4, &lt;/s&gt;but would extend this to begin with &quot;If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. ...&quot;
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As an interesting side-note, this relates strongly to a lot of Arabic / Islamic philosophy. It really is a healthy / pragmatic way to look at life in a lot of situations, but the association with Napoleon may tint this particular quote too strongly.'' --&gt;

; 2011
: True spirituality rejects no new light, no added means or materials of our human self-development. It means simply to keep our centre, our essential way of being, our inborn nature and assimilate to it all we receive, and evolve out of it all we do and create. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:57, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2012
{{quote of the day
| quote = The supreme [[Truth|truths]] are neither the rigid conclusions of [[Logic|logical]] [[Reason|reasoning]] nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the [[soul]]'s inner [[experience]]. [[Intellect|Intellectual]] truth is only one of the [[Door|doors]] to the outer precincts of the temple. And since intellectual truth turned towards the [[Infinite]] must be in its very nature many-sided and not narrowly one, the most varying intellectual [[Belief|beliefs]] can be equally true because they mirror different facets of the Infinite. However separated by intellectual distance, they still form so many side-entrances which admit the mind to some faint ray from a supreme [[Light]]. There are no true and false [[religions]], but rather all religions are true in their own way and degree. Each is one of the thousand paths to the [[the All|One Eternal]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:26, 9 August 2012 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) (although the first sentence of this has already been used, and thus would prefer many others prior to this one.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

;; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Spirituality]] is much wider than any particular [[religion]], and in the larger [[ideas]] of it that are now coming on us even the [[greatest]] religion becomes no more than a broad sect or branch of the one [[Universalism|universal]] religion, by which we shall [[understand]] in the [[future]] man's seeking for the [[eternal]], the divine, the greater [[self]], the source of [[unity]] and his attempt to arrive at some equation, some increasing approximation of the [[values]] of [[human]] [[life]] with the eternal and the divine values.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:35, 12 August 2013 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. &lt;!-- Truth,—''Satya'', ''Dharma'' —Virtue, these ought to be the controlling [[principles]] of all those who work under this Flag. --&gt; ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. … &lt;!-- [[Philosophers]] must be kings. --&gt; Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be [[Devotion|dedicated]] [[spirits]] … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]].
| author = Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]]

&lt;!-- We are putting in the centre the [[white]], the white of the [[Sun]]’s [[rays]]. The white means the path of [[light]]...the [[orange]], the ''Bhaguwa'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. [[Philosophers]] must be kings. Our leaders must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits...the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[w:Plant life|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]...Thus [[w:Indian National Flag|flag]] tells us ‘Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a free, flexible, [[compassionate]], [[w:Decent|decent]], [[w:Democratic society|democratic society]] on which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] [[w:Shelter|shelter]]. Let us all unite under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the ideas our flag symbolizes. ~ [[Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan]]

*4 For the special occasion of [[w:Independence Day (India)|Independence Day (India)]] on 15 August. --[[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]] ([[User talk:Nvvchar|talk]]) 08:40, 5 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:32, 13 August 2014 (UTC), but I have looked over a few different translations or renditions of this, and would extend it and alter it slightly to read:
:: [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]… Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]]. --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Hinduism|This Sanatana]] [[Dharma]] has many scriptures: The [[Vedas|Veda]], the [[Vedanta]], the [[Bhagavad Gita|Gita]], the [[Upanishads]], the Darshanas, the [[Puranas]], the [[Tantras]], nor could it reject the [[Bible]] or the [[Quran|Koran]], but its [[real]], the most authoritative scripture is in the [[heart]] in which the [[Eternal]] has his dwelling.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:39, 14 August 2015 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[All]] [[religions]] have some [[truth]] in them, but none has the [[whole]] truth; all are created in [[time]] and finally decline and [[perish]]. [[Mahomed]] himself never [[pretended]] that the [[Koran]] was the last message of [[God]] and there would be no other. God and Truth outlast these religions and manifest themselves anew in whatever way or form the [[Divine]] [[Wisdom]] [[chooses]]. You cannot shut up God in the limitations of your own narrow [[brain]] or dictate to the Divine [[Power]] and [[Consciousness]] how or where or through whom it shall manifest; you cannot put up your puny barriers against the divine [[Omnipotence]]. These again are simple truths which are now being recognised all over the [[world]]; only the childish in [[mind]] or those who vegetate in some formula of the [[past]] [[deny]] them.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:15, 12 August 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Whatever [[plans]] we may make, we shall find quite useless when the [[time]] for [[action]] comes. [[Revolutions]] are always full of [[surprises]], and whoever thinks he can play [[chess]] with a revolution will soon find how terrible is the grasp of [[God]] and how insignificant the [[human]] [[reason]] before the whirlwind of His breath. That man only is likely to dominate the chances of a Revolution, who makes no plans but preserves his [[heart]] [[pure]] for the [[will]] of God to declare itself. The [[great]] [[rule]] of [[life]] is to have no schemes but one unalterable [[purpose]]. If the will is fixed on the purpose it sets itself to accomplish, then [[circumstances]] will suggest the [[Righteousness|right course]]; but the schemer finds himself always tripped up by the unexpected.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 15 August 2017 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The highest [[spirituality]] indeed moves in a [[free]] and wide air far above that lower stage of seeking which is [[governed]] by [[religious]] form and [[dogma]]; it does not easily bear their limitations and, even when it admits, it [[transcends]] them; it lives in an [[experience]] which to the formal religious [[mind]] is unintelligible.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:58, 14 August 2018 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Indian]] [[religion]] has always felt that since the [[minds]], the temperaments and the [[intellectual]] affinities of [[Humans|men]] are unlimited in their [[variety]], a [[perfect]] [[liberty]] of [[thought]] and of [[worship]] must be allowed to the individual in his approach to the [[Infinite]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 14 August 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; What are we? What is the [[future]]? What is the [[past]]? What [[magic]] fluid envelops us and hides from us the things it is most [[important]] for us to [[know]]? We are [[born]], we [[live]], and we [[die]] in the midst of the [[marvelous]].
| author = Napoleon I of France
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:45, 15 August 2020 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; It is the [[nature]] of [[human]] [[institutions]] to degenerate, to lose their vitality, and decay, and the first sign of decay is the loss of flexibility and oblivion of the [[essential]] [[spirit]] in which they were conceived. The spirit is permanent, the [[body]] [[changes]]; and a body which refuses to change must [[die]]. The spirit expresses itself in many ways while itself remaining essentially the same but the body must change to suit its changing [[environments]] if it wishes to [[live]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 02:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2022
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world... ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].
| author = Salman Rushdie
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 14 August 2022 (UTC); in regard of the recent physical attack upon him. --&gt;

; 2023 : ''[[August 15|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;!-- ----
'''Quotes by people born this day, already used as QOTD:''' --&gt; 
----
{{QOTD Ranking}}
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----
== Suggestions ==

India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only. ~ [[Mark Twain]] in honour of the [[India]] independence day
* 3 ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 06:40, 20 July 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:AllanHainey|AllanHainey]] 12:00, 26 July 2005 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
* Comment: I could not find this quote on the [[Mark Twain]] page. Jedi3.

----

This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast — man's laws, not God's — and if you cut them down — and you're just the man to do it — d'you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake. ~ [[Robert Bolt]] (born August 15, 1924)
: {{unsigned|BD2412}}
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:31, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 10:54, 13 January 2018 (UTC) but I would extend this to include the immediately preceding dialogue leading up to &quot;And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you—where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat?&quot;

----

Since one must take sides, one might as well choose the side that is victorious, the side which devastates, loots, and burns. Considering the alternative, it is better to eat than to be eaten. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because it is always the victor who smiles and the vanquished who remains guilty. Truly, enigmatically, it is better to eat than be eaten, complete ideology of darwinism defined and a very militant persona to embody, which I myself believe holds powerful enthralling magnetism and high moral standards. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As I said for a quote on the 14th, &quot;The same sentiment has been stated much more &quot;pleasingly&quot; (for grievous lack of a better word).&quot;

----

A king is sometimes obliged to commit crimes; but they are the crimes of his position. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because the rank of king in itself is characterized as a crime. Very magnificent explanation of blame toward the highest rank. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

A picture is worth a thousand words. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions are always speak louder than words, and as such, similarly, an image speaks a thousand words in a thousand ways. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; reduced ranking, as this is likely the paraphrasing of an expressed thought with the modern english proverb; would prefer to use: &quot;A good sketch is better than a long speech.&quot; which I have suggested below.
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Is this, in fact, originally Napoleon's quote? It's unsourced in his article, and I think it's slightly inappropriate and POV as QOTD to ascribe an ancient / anonymous quote to a particular historical figure.''

----

Better to have a known enemy than a hidden ally. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 4 because this is very true and holds high moral value...the hidden is always more dangerous than that which we can see. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:55, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; tactical reduction — though there is merit to the observation, I am not inclined to rank it among the best of the quotes available, and would rank many others by Napoleon far higher.
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''I definitely don't think this is &quot;very true.&quot; I could give some examples, but this isn't the place for discourse. There's definitely a problem with quotes that seem to have &quot;lyrical validity&quot; and are thus accepted, when in fact, in the real world it is rather obvious that the opposite is true. There may be some &quot;wisdom&quot; gained in looking at the world in such a way for a moment, but often upon realistic observation, they prove absurd. I choose the guardian angel....''

----

Cruelty can only be justified by necessity. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because this is very true, where cruelty has become a standardized rationale for human behavior and necessity has been entangled as one of its most dominating excuses. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''This would be a really good quote if Napoleon then said something about the epistemological uncertainty and dubious nature of necessity.''

----

In victory, you deserve Champagne; in defeat, you need it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because sometimes a drink can truly calm one in a moment of defeat. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Perfect (text-book) addictive mindset! I'm not sure what to give this one, it's important for a much different reason that Zarbon posits.''

----

Speeches pass away, but acts remain. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions truly speak louder than words. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''There are quite a few ancient figures that we have fragments extant of what they said, but know little, if anything, of what they did. That doesn't, in any way, defeat the idea &quot;actions speak louder than words,&quot; but it is related.''

----

The bullet that will kill me is not yet cast. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because perseverence and dominating are very admirable qualities, and believing that nothing will topple you is key to determination. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

If all the world must see the world&lt;br&gt;As the world the world hath seen,&lt;br&gt;Then it were better for the world&lt;br&gt;That the world had never been. ~ [[Charles Godfrey Leland]]
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:36, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

More glorious to merit a sceptre than to possess one. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

----

Those who are free from common prejudices acquire others. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The barbarous custom of having men beaten who are suspected of having important secrets to reveal must be abolished. It has always been recognized that this way of interrogating men, by putting them to torture, produces nothing worthwhile. The poor wretches say anything that comes into their mind and what they think the interrogator wishes to know. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Whatever misanthropists may say, ingrates and the perverse are exceptions in the human species. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Destiny urges me to a goal of which I am ignorant. Until that goal is attained I am invulnerable, unassailable. When Destiny has accomplished her purpose in me, a fly may suffice to destroy me. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

I am the instrument of providence, she will use me as long as I accomplish her designs, then she will break me like a glass. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

War is becoming an anachronism … There are two systems, the past and the future. The present is only a painful transition. Which must triumph? The future, will it not? Yes indeed, the future! That is, intelligence, industry, and peace. The past was brute force, privilege, and ignorance. Each of our victories was a triumph for the ideas of the Revolution. Victories will be won, one of these days, without cannon, and without bayonets. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The fool has one great advantage over a man of sense — he is always satisfied with himself. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----
A good sketch is better than a long speech. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is not that addresses at the opening of a battle make the soldiers brave. The old veterans scarcely hear them, and recruits forget them at the first boom of the cannon. Their usefulness lies in their effect on the course of the campaign, in neutralizing rumors and false reports, in maintaining a good spirit in the camp, and in furnishing matter for camp-fire talk. The printed order of the day should fulfill these different ends. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

In order not to be astonished at obtaining victories, one ought not to think only of defeats. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Nothing is so contrary to military rules as to make the strength of your army known, either in the orders of the day, in proclamations, or in the newspapers. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

There is nothing so imperious as feebleness which feels itself supported by force. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is not necessary to prohibit or encourage oddities of conduct which are not harmful. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Courage cannot be counterfeited. It is one virtue that escapes hypocrisy. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----
There is only one favorable moment in war; talent consists in knowing how to seize it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

In a battle, as in a siege, the art consists in concentrating very heavy fire on a particular point. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is only by prudence, wisdom, and dexterity, that great ends are attained and obstacles overcome. Without these qualities nothing succeeds. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The man fitted for affairs and authority never considers individuals, but things and their consequences. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Parties weaken themselves by their fear of capable men. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The superior man is never in anyone's way. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

One must indeed be ignorant of the methods of genius to suppose that it allows itself to be cramped by forms. Forms are for mediocrity, and it is fortunate that mediocrity can act only according to routine. Ability takes its flight unhindered. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The laws of circumstance are abolished by new circumstances. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

One can lead a nation only by helping it see a bright outlook. A leader is a dealer in hope. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

It is often in the audacity, in the steadfastness, of the general that the safety and the conservation of his men is found. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Imagination governs the world. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Lead the ideas of your time and they will accompany and support you; fall behind them and they drag you along with them; oppose them and they will overwhelm you. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

All great events hang by a hair. The man of ability takes advantage of everything and neglects nothing that can give him a chance of success; whilst the less able man sometimes loses everything by neglecting a single one of those chances ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The whole world yearns after freedom, yet each creature is in love with his chains; this is the first paradox and inextricable knot of our nature. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

None can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.&lt;p&gt; This too the traveller of the worlds must dare. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

All can be done if the god-touch is there. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

''All things are real that here are only dreams, &lt;br&gt;In our unknown depths sleeps their reserve of truth, &lt;br&gt;On our unreached heights they reign and come to us &lt;br&gt;In thought and muse trailing their robes of light.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Even soul-force, when it is effective, destroys. Only those who have used it with eyes open, know how much more destructive it can be than the sword and the cannon; and only those who do not limit their view to the act and its immediate results, can see how tremendous are its after-effects, how much is eventually destroyed and with that much all the life that depended upon it and fed upon it. Evil cannot perish without the destruction of much that lives by the evil, and it is no less destruction even if we personally are saved the pain of a sensational act of violence. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

What I cannot do now is the sign of what I shall do hereafter. The sense of impossibility is the beginning of all possibilities. Because this temporal universe was a paradox and an impossibility, therefore the Eternal created it out of His being. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Evolution is not finished; reason is not the last word nor the reasoning animal the supreme figure of Nature. As man emerged out of the animal, so out of man the superman emerges. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Thought is not essential to existence nor its cause, but it is an instrument for becoming; I become what I see in myself. All that thought suggests to me, I can do; all that thought reveals in me, I can become. This should be man's unshakable faith in himself, because God dwells in him. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

There are two allied powers in man; knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is so much of the truth seen in a distorted medium as the mind arrives at by groping, wisdom what the eye of divine vision sees in the spirit. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

If a religion is not universal, it cannot be eternal. A narrow religion, a sectarian religion, an exclusive religion can live only for a limited time and a limited purpose. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

Spirituality is not necessarily exclusive; it can be and in its fullness must be all-inclusive. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

----

Do not be afraid of obstacles in your path, it does not matter how great the forces are that stand in your way.... Do not think that anything is impossible when miracles are being worked on every side. If you are true to yourself there is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing unattainable by truth, love and faith. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 --[[User:Jedi3|Jedi3]] ([[User talk:Jedi3|talk]]) 08:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)

----

&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
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      <text bytes="44686" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;15&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color: #CFE5FF; font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:August 15|August 15]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2003
: Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. ~ [[Harry Emerson Fosdick]]
:* selected by [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]

; 2004
: ''Where is the Life we have lost in living? &lt;br&gt; Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? &lt;br&gt; Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[T. S. Eliot]] ~
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (born 15 August 1872), also [[w:History of the Republic of India|Independence Day of India]] (15 August 1947)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2006
: Call for the grandest of all earthly spectacles, what is that? It is the sun going to his rest. Call for the grandest of all human sentiments, what is that? It is that man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep. ~ [[Thomas De Quincey]] (born 15 August 1785)
:* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2007
: The aggressive and quite illogical idea of a single religion for all mankind, a religion universal by the very force of its narrowness, one set of dogmas, one cult, one system of ceremonies, one ecclesiastical ordinance, one array of prohibitions and injunctions which all minds must accept on peril of persecution by men and spiritual rejection or eternal punishment by God, that grotesque creation of human unreason which has been the parent of so much intolerance, cruelty and obscurantism and aggressive fanaticism, has never been able to take firm hold of the Indian mentality. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] (date of birth, and the 60th Independence day of India)
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; ranked this higher for this year as something on India for it's 60th Independence Day, but I am still looking for more from Aurobindo... amidst other tasks.
* 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 03:36, 12 August 2006 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2008
: A form of government that is not the result of a long sequence of shared experiences, efforts, and endeavors can never take root. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: The supreme truths are neither the rigid conclusions of logical reasoning nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the soul's inner experience. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 08:22, 14 August 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 01:04, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Would make a good text-book definition for existentialism, now that I think about it.'' --&gt;

; 2010
: If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] ~
:* proposed by [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] &lt;!-- I have made all the calculations; fate will do the rest. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because in the end, fate and destiny has always been a major part of mythological and mysterious analogies, and more importantly, in Greek teachings, has given the basis that no one can escape from their fate. This works especially well in the case of Napoleon, who overestimated his chances and ended up with failure against Russia and in the long run, in complete exile, brilliantly maneuvered to the very fate which had sealed him historic.[[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC) though leaning toward a 3 or even a 4, &lt;/s&gt;but would extend this to begin with &quot;If the art of war were nothing but the art of avoiding risks, glory would become the prey of mediocre minds. ...&quot;
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As an interesting side-note, this relates strongly to a lot of Arabic / Islamic philosophy. It really is a healthy / pragmatic way to look at life in a lot of situations, but the association with Napoleon may tint this particular quote too strongly.'' --&gt;

; 2011
: True spirituality rejects no new light, no added means or materials of our human self-development. It means simply to keep our centre, our essential way of being, our inborn nature and assimilate to it all we receive, and evolve out of it all we do and create. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:57, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2012
{{quote of the day
| quote = The supreme [[Truth|truths]] are neither the rigid conclusions of [[Logic|logical]] [[Reason|reasoning]] nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the [[soul]]'s inner [[experience]]. [[Intellect|Intellectual]] truth is only one of the [[Door|doors]] to the outer precincts of the temple. And since intellectual truth turned towards the [[Infinite]] must be in its very nature many-sided and not narrowly one, the most varying intellectual [[Belief|beliefs]] can be equally true because they mirror different facets of the Infinite. However separated by intellectual distance, they still form so many side-entrances which admit the mind to some faint ray from a supreme [[Light]]. There are no true and false [[religions]], but rather all religions are true in their own way and degree. Each is one of the thousand paths to the [[the All|One Eternal]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:26, 9 August 2012 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) (although the first sentence of this has already been used, and thus would prefer many others prior to this one.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

;; 2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Spirituality]] is much wider than any particular [[religion]], and in the larger [[ideas]] of it that are now coming on us even the [[greatest]] religion becomes no more than a broad sect or branch of the one [[Universalism|universal]] religion, by which we shall [[understand]] in the [[future]] man's seeking for the [[eternal]], the divine, the greater [[self]], the source of [[unity]] and his attempt to arrive at some equation, some increasing approximation of the [[values]] of [[human]] [[life]] with the eternal and the divine values.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:35, 12 August 2013 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. &lt;!-- Truth,—''Satya'', ''Dharma'' —Virtue, these ought to be the controlling [[principles]] of all those who work under this Flag. --&gt; ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. … &lt;!-- [[Philosophers]] must be kings. --&gt; Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be [[Devotion|dedicated]] [[spirits]] … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]].
| author = Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]]

&lt;!-- We are putting in the centre the [[white]], the white of the [[Sun]]’s [[rays]]. The white means the path of [[light]]...the [[orange]], the ''Bhaguwa'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]. [[Philosophers]] must be kings. Our leaders must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits...the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[w:Plant life|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]...Thus [[w:Indian National Flag|flag]] tells us ‘Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a free, flexible, [[compassionate]], [[w:Decent|decent]], [[w:Democratic society|democratic society]] on which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] [[w:Shelter|shelter]]. Let us all unite under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the ideas our flag symbolizes. ~ [[Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan]]

*4 For the special occasion of [[w:Independence Day (India)|Independence Day (India)]] on 15 August. --[[User:Nvvchar|Nvvchar]] ([[User talk:Nvvchar|talk]]) 08:40, 5 August 2014 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:32, 13 August 2014 (UTC), but I have looked over a few different translations or renditions of this, and would extend it and alter it slightly to read:
:: [[w:Flag of India|The Flag]] links up the [[past]] and the [[present]]. It is the legacy bequeathed to us by the architects of our [[liberty]]. … The [[world]] is full of misunderstandings, suspicions and distrusts. In these difficult days it depends on us under what banner we [[fight]]. Here we are Putting in the very centre the [[w:white|white]], the white of the [[Sun]]'s rays. The [[w:white|white]] means the path of [[light]] … the [[ideal]] light, the light of [[truth]] … The [[Asoka]]'s wheel represents to us the wheel of the [[Law]], the wheel [[Dharma]]. Truth can be gained only by the pursuit of the path of Dharma, by the [[practice]] of [[virtue]]. ...the [[orange]], the ''[[w:Saffron (color)|Bhagwa]]'' colour, represents the [[spirit]] of [[renunciation]]. All forms of renunciation are to be embodied in [[Dharma|Raja Dharma]]… Our [[leaders]] must be disinterested. They must be dedicated spirits … the [[w:Green|green]] is there, our [[relation]] to the [[soil]], our relation to the [[Plants|plant life]] here, on which all other [[life]] depends. We must build our [[Paradise]], here on this green [[earth]]... This flag tells us &quot;Be ever alert, be ever on the move, go forward, work for a [[free]], flexible, [[compassionate]], [[decent]], [[Democracy|democratic society]] in which [[Christians]], [[w:Sikhs|Sikhs]], [[Muslims]], [[Hindus]], [[Buddhists]] will all find a [[safe]] shelter.&quot; Let us [[all]] [[unite]] under this banner and rededicate ourselves to the [[ideas]] our flag [[symbolizes]]. --&gt;

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = [[Hinduism|This Sanatana]] [[Dharma]] has many scriptures: The [[Vedas|Veda]], the [[Vedanta]], the [[Bhagavad Gita|Gita]], the [[Upanishads]], the Darshanas, the [[Puranas]], the [[Tantras]], nor could it reject the [[Bible]] or the [[Quran|Koran]], but its [[real]], the most authoritative scripture is in the [[heart]] in which the [[Eternal]] has his dwelling.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:39, 14 August 2015 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[All]] [[religions]] have some [[truth]] in them, but none has the [[whole]] truth; all are created in [[time]] and finally decline and [[perish]]. [[Mahomed]] himself never [[pretended]] that the [[Koran]] was the last message of [[God]] and there would be no other. God and Truth outlast these religions and manifest themselves anew in whatever way or form the [[Divine]] [[Wisdom]] [[chooses]]. You cannot shut up God in the limitations of your own narrow [[brain]] or dictate to the Divine [[Power]] and [[Consciousness]] how or where or through whom it shall manifest; you cannot put up your puny barriers against the divine [[Omnipotence]]. These again are simple truths which are now being recognised all over the [[world]]; only the childish in [[mind]] or those who vegetate in some formula of the [[past]] [[deny]] them.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:15, 12 August 2016 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Whatever [[plans]] we may make, we shall find quite useless when the [[time]] for [[action]] comes. [[Revolutions]] are always full of [[surprises]], and whoever thinks he can play [[chess]] with a revolution will soon find how terrible is the grasp of [[God]] and how insignificant the [[human]] [[reason]] before the whirlwind of His breath. That man only is likely to dominate the chances of a Revolution, who makes no plans but preserves his [[heart]] [[pure]] for the [[will]] of God to declare itself. The [[great]] [[rule]] of [[life]] is to have no schemes but one unalterable [[purpose]]. If the will is fixed on the purpose it sets itself to accomplish, then [[circumstances]] will suggest the [[Righteousness|right course]]; but the schemer finds himself always tripped up by the unexpected.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 15 August 2017 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The highest [[spirituality]] indeed moves in a [[free]] and wide air far above that lower stage of seeking which is [[governed]] by [[religious]] form and [[dogma]]; it does not easily bear their limitations and, even when it admits, it [[transcends]] them; it lives in an [[experience]] which to the formal religious [[mind]] is unintelligible.
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:58, 14 August 2018 (UTC) &lt;s&gt; 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a VERY strong lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Indian]] [[religion]] has always felt that since the [[minds]], the temperaments and the [[intellectual]] affinities of [[Humans|men]] are unlimited in their [[variety]], a [[perfect]] [[liberty]] of [[thought]] and of [[worship]] must be allowed to the individual in his approach to the [[Infinite]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 14 August 2019 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:23, 14 August 2007 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; What are we? What is the [[future]]? What is the [[past]]? What [[magic]] fluid envelops us and hides from us the things it is most [[important]] for us to [[know]]? We are [[born]], we [[live]], and we [[die]] in the midst of the [[marvelous]].
| author = Napoleon I of France
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:45, 15 August 2020 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; It is the [[nature]] of [[human]] [[institutions]] to degenerate, to lose their vitality, and decay, and the first sign of decay is the loss of flexibility and oblivion of the [[essential]] [[spirit]] in which they were conceived. The spirit is permanent, the [[body]] [[changes]]; and a body which refuses to change must [[die]]. The spirit expresses itself in many ways while itself remaining essentially the same but the body must change to suit its changing [[environments]] if it wishes to [[live]].
| author = Sri Aurobindo
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 02:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2022
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world... ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].
| author = Salman Rushdie
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]; in regard of the recent physical attack upon him.&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:24, 14 August 2022 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2023 : ''[[August 15|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;!-- ----
'''Quotes by people born this day, already used as QOTD:''' --&gt; 
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{{QOTD Ranking}}
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== Suggestions ==

India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only. ~ [[Mark Twain]] in honour of the [[India]] independence day
* 3 ~ [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]] [[User talk:MosheZadka|(Talk)]] 06:40, 20 July 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:AllanHainey|AllanHainey]] 12:00, 26 July 2005 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 18:48, 11 August 2005 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
* Comment: I could not find this quote on the [[Mark Twain]] page. Jedi3.

----

This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast — man's laws, not God's — and if you cut them down — and you're just the man to do it — d'you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake. ~ [[Robert Bolt]] (born August 15, 1924)
: {{unsigned|BD2412}}
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:31, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 23:28, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 15:35, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 10:54, 13 January 2018 (UTC) but I would extend this to include the immediately preceding dialogue leading up to &quot;And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you—where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat?&quot;

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Since one must take sides, one might as well choose the side that is victorious, the side which devastates, loots, and burns. Considering the alternative, it is better to eat than to be eaten. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because it is always the victor who smiles and the vanquished who remains guilty. Truly, enigmatically, it is better to eat than be eaten, complete ideology of darwinism defined and a very militant persona to embody, which I myself believe holds powerful enthralling magnetism and high moral standards. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''As I said for a quote on the 14th, &quot;The same sentiment has been stated much more &quot;pleasingly&quot; (for grievous lack of a better word).&quot;

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A king is sometimes obliged to commit crimes; but they are the crimes of his position. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because the rank of king in itself is characterized as a crime. Very magnificent explanation of blame toward the highest rank. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

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A picture is worth a thousand words. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions are always speak louder than words, and as such, similarly, an image speaks a thousand words in a thousand ways. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; reduced ranking, as this is likely the paraphrasing of an expressed thought with the modern english proverb; would prefer to use: &quot;A good sketch is better than a long speech.&quot; which I have suggested below.
* 1 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Is this, in fact, originally Napoleon's quote? It's unsourced in his article, and I think it's slightly inappropriate and POV as QOTD to ascribe an ancient / anonymous quote to a particular historical figure.''

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Better to have a known enemy than a hidden ally. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 4 because this is very true and holds high moral value...the hidden is always more dangerous than that which we can see. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 02:55, 12 August 2011 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt; tactical reduction — though there is merit to the observation, I am not inclined to rank it among the best of the quotes available, and would rank many others by Napoleon far higher.
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''I definitely don't think this is &quot;very true.&quot; I could give some examples, but this isn't the place for discourse. There's definitely a problem with quotes that seem to have &quot;lyrical validity&quot; and are thus accepted, when in fact, in the real world it is rather obvious that the opposite is true. There may be some &quot;wisdom&quot; gained in looking at the world in such a way for a moment, but often upon realistic observation, they prove absurd. I choose the guardian angel....''

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Cruelty can only be justified by necessity. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because this is very true, where cruelty has become a standardized rationale for human behavior and necessity has been entangled as one of its most dominating excuses. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''This would be a really good quote if Napoleon then said something about the epistemological uncertainty and dubious nature of necessity.''

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In victory, you deserve Champagne; in defeat, you need it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because sometimes a drink can truly calm one in a moment of defeat. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* ~ ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''Perfect (text-book) addictive mindset! I'm not sure what to give this one, it's important for a much different reason that Zarbon posits.''

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Speeches pass away, but acts remain. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because actions truly speak louder than words. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC) ''There are quite a few ancient figures that we have fragments extant of what they said, but know little, if anything, of what they did. That doesn't, in any way, defeat the idea &quot;actions speak louder than words,&quot; but it is related.''

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The bullet that will kill me is not yet cast. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]] (born August 15)
* 3 because perseverence and dominating are very admirable qualities, and believing that nothing will topple you is key to determination. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

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If all the world must see the world&lt;br&gt;As the world the world hath seen,&lt;br&gt;Then it were better for the world&lt;br&gt;That the world had never been. ~ [[Charles Godfrey Leland]]
* 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:36, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
* 1 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

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More glorious to merit a sceptre than to possess one. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 00:41, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 03:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 17:45, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
* 3 ''[[User:Peace and Passion|Peace and Passion]] ([[User talk:Peace and Passion|&quot;I'm listening....&quot;]])'' 20:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

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Those who are free from common prejudices acquire others. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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The barbarous custom of having men beaten who are suspected of having important secrets to reveal must be abolished. It has always been recognized that this way of interrogating men, by putting them to torture, produces nothing worthwhile. The poor wretches say anything that comes into their mind and what they think the interrogator wishes to know. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Whatever misanthropists may say, ingrates and the perverse are exceptions in the human species. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Destiny urges me to a goal of which I am ignorant. Until that goal is attained I am invulnerable, unassailable. When Destiny has accomplished her purpose in me, a fly may suffice to destroy me. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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I am the instrument of providence, she will use me as long as I accomplish her designs, then she will break me like a glass. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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War is becoming an anachronism … There are two systems, the past and the future. The present is only a painful transition. Which must triumph? The future, will it not? Yes indeed, the future! That is, intelligence, industry, and peace. The past was brute force, privilege, and ignorance. Each of our victories was a triumph for the ideas of the Revolution. Victories will be won, one of these days, without cannon, and without bayonets. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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The fool has one great advantage over a man of sense — he is always satisfied with himself. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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A good sketch is better than a long speech. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is not that addresses at the opening of a battle make the soldiers brave. The old veterans scarcely hear them, and recruits forget them at the first boom of the cannon. Their usefulness lies in their effect on the course of the campaign, in neutralizing rumors and false reports, in maintaining a good spirit in the camp, and in furnishing matter for camp-fire talk. The printed order of the day should fulfill these different ends. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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In order not to be astonished at obtaining victories, one ought not to think only of defeats. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Nothing is so contrary to military rules as to make the strength of your army known, either in the orders of the day, in proclamations, or in the newspapers. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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There is nothing so imperious as feebleness which feels itself supported by force. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is not necessary to prohibit or encourage oddities of conduct which are not harmful. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Courage cannot be counterfeited. It is one virtue that escapes hypocrisy. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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There is only one favorable moment in war; talent consists in knowing how to seize it. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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In a battle, as in a siege, the art consists in concentrating very heavy fire on a particular point. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is only by prudence, wisdom, and dexterity, that great ends are attained and obstacles overcome. Without these qualities nothing succeeds. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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The man fitted for affairs and authority never considers individuals, but things and their consequences. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Parties weaken themselves by their fear of capable men. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The superior man is never in anyone's way. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

One must indeed be ignorant of the methods of genius to suppose that it allows itself to be cramped by forms. Forms are for mediocrity, and it is fortunate that mediocrity can act only according to routine. Ability takes its flight unhindered. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

The laws of circumstance are abolished by new circumstances. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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One can lead a nation only by helping it see a bright outlook. A leader is a dealer in hope. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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It is often in the audacity, in the steadfastness, of the general that the safety and the conservation of his men is found. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Imagination governs the world. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Lead the ideas of your time and they will accompany and support you; fall behind them and they drag you along with them; oppose them and they will overwhelm you. ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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All great events hang by a hair. The man of ability takes advantage of everything and neglects nothing that can give him a chance of success; whilst the less able man sometimes loses everything by neglecting a single one of those chances ~ [[Napoleon I of France]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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The whole world yearns after freedom, yet each creature is in love with his chains; this is the first paradox and inextricable knot of our nature. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

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None can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.&lt;p&gt; This too the traveller of the worlds must dare. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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All can be done if the god-touch is there. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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''All things are real that here are only dreams, &lt;br&gt;In our unknown depths sleeps their reserve of truth, &lt;br&gt;On our unreached heights they reign and come to us &lt;br&gt;In thought and muse trailing their robes of light.'' &lt;br&gt; ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]] ~
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Even soul-force, when it is effective, destroys. Only those who have used it with eyes open, know how much more destructive it can be than the sword and the cannon; and only those who do not limit their view to the act and its immediate results, can see how tremendous are its after-effects, how much is eventually destroyed and with that much all the life that depended upon it and fed upon it. Evil cannot perish without the destruction of much that lives by the evil, and it is no less destruction even if we personally are saved the pain of a sensational act of violence. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

What I cannot do now is the sign of what I shall do hereafter. The sense of impossibility is the beginning of all possibilities. Because this temporal universe was a paradox and an impossibility, therefore the Eternal created it out of His being. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

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Evolution is not finished; reason is not the last word nor the reasoning animal the supreme figure of Nature. As man emerged out of the animal, so out of man the superman emerges. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

Thought is not essential to existence nor its cause, but it is an instrument for becoming; I become what I see in myself. All that thought suggests to me, I can do; all that thought reveals in me, I can become. This should be man's unshakable faith in himself, because God dwells in him. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

There are two allied powers in man; knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is so much of the truth seen in a distorted medium as the mind arrives at by groping, wisdom what the eye of divine vision sees in the spirit. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC)

----

If a religion is not universal, it cannot be eternal. A narrow religion, a sectarian religion, an exclusive religion can live only for a limited time and a limited purpose. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.

----

Spirituality is not necessarily exclusive; it can be and in its fullness must be all-inclusive. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &amp;middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 19:42, 12 August 2010 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.

----

Do not be afraid of obstacles in your path, it does not matter how great the forces are that stand in your way.... Do not think that anything is impossible when miracles are being worked on every side. If you are true to yourself there is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing unattainable by truth, love and faith. ~ [[Sri Aurobindo]]
* 3 --[[User:Jedi3|Jedi3]] ([[User talk:Jedi3|talk]]) 08:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)

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    <title>Nudity</title>
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      <text bytes="11586" xml:space="preserve">[[File:La Vérité, par Jules Joseph Lefebvre.jpg|thumb|My parents were free about nudity, and we are too. I’d like our children to feel unashamed of whatever shape they are. People should worry about other things. — [[Heidi Klum]] ]]
[[File:The Book of the Homeless (New York, Charles Scribner's Sons, 1916) 269.png|thumb| If people were meant to run around naked, they wouldn't have been born wearing clothes. 
—Reverend Loveshade]]
[[File:047- Anonym, c.1855.jpg|thumb|To me the the coolest thing about having a boyfriend is that you can just stare at his naked body and not have to look away out of politeness. I find the male form so fascinating. I have a few [favorite body parts]. I like that kind of dent [pelvic bone], that V. And I love [men's] butts. There's nothing better than a good butt. —[[w:Dana Delany|Dana Delany]]]]
[[File:Durer Adam and Eve.jpg|thumb|And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. —[[Genesis]] 2:25 ([[King James Version]])]]
'''[[w:Nudity|Nudity]]''' is the state of being in which a human is without clothing or specifically not covering the [[w:Human reproductive system|genitals]]. Partial nudity may be defined as not covering other parts of the body deemed sexual. Nudity is culturally complex due to meanings given various states of undress in differing social situations. In any particular society, these meanings are defined in relation to being properly dressed, not in relation to the specific body parts being exposed. Nakedness and clothing are connected to many [[w:Culture|cultural categories]] such as [[w:Identity (social science)|identity]], [[privacy]], [[social status]] and [[Morality|moral behavior]]. Although often used interchangeably, &quot;naked&quot; and &quot;nude&quot; are also used in English to distinguish between the various meanings of being unclothed.

[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0107 - Taschen p. 49.jpg|thumb|I think male nudity is wonderful. ~ [[w:Sandra Dee|Sandra Dee]]]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhem von (1856-1931) - n. 1094 - Nudo maschile con cane.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhem von (1856-1931) - n. 1094 - Nudo maschile con cane]]

==Quotes==
* Any excuse is good to... get naked.
** [[w:Laura Gemser|Laura Gemser]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0dE8_6MroQ Laura Gemser Interview]

* I'm so comfortable with nudity, it's difficult for me to keep my clothes on in just my own everyday life. As soon as I walk in the door when I come home, off go the clothes.
** Marliece Andrada, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_oHsaNgcVI Marliece Andrada Interview 1998]

* And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
** Authorized Version (King James Version) of the [[Bible]], Genesis 2:25

* The streaking syndrome started a new feeling about freeing the body.
** [[w:Suzy Chaffee|Suzy Chaffee]], ''Suzy Chaffee: The liberated beauty'', ''The Beaver County Times'' (17 March 1975)

* Do you wish to honor the Body of the Savior? Do not despise it when it is naked. Do not honor it in church with silk vestments while outside it is naked and numb with cold. He who said, “This is my body,” and made it so by his word, is the same that said, “You saw me hungry and you gave me no food. As you did it not to the least of these, you did it not to me.” Honor him then by sharing your property with the poor. For what God needs is not golden chalices but golden souls.
** [[John Chrysostom]], ''[http://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/npnf110/Page_303.html Homilies on the Gospel of Saint Matthew]'', Homily L

* To me the the coolest thing about having a boyfriend is that you can just stare at his naked body and not have to look away out of politeness. I find the male form so fascinating. I have a few [favorite body parts]. I like that kind of dent [pelvic bone], that V. And I love [men's] butts. There's nothing better than a good butt.
** [[w:Dana Delany|Dana Delany]], as quoted in [http://www.movieline.com/1994/08/01/dana-matrix movieline.com ''Movieline'' (1 August 1994)]

* '''I think male nudity is wonderful.'''
** [[w:Sandra Dee|Sandra Dee]], ''The Palm Beach Post'' (5 October 1972)

*Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: I said: Apostle of Allah, from whom should we conceal our private parts and to whom can we show? He replied: conceal your private parts except from your wife and from [[whom your right hands possess]] (slave-girls)...
**Hadith. Sunan Abu Dawud 31:4006

*A man may view his wife or his slave in any part.—It is lawful for a man to look at his slave girl in any part, provided he be not related him within the prohibited degrees; and also at his wife in any part, even in the pudenda, if he pleases; because the Prophet said, “shut your eyes from all excepting your wives and female slaves.” Nevertheless, it is most becoming that a husband and wife should neither of them look at the genital parts of the other, as the Prophet has said, “when ye copulate with women of your own tribe, you must conceal as much s possible; and be not then naked, as that savours too much of the custom of asses.”
**The Hidaya p.599. [https://archive.org/details/TheHedayaCommentaryOnIslamicLawsByShyakhBurhanuddinAbuBakrAlMarghinani] The Hedaya Commentary On Islamic Laws By ShyakhBurhanuddinAbuBakrAlMarghinani

* At the same time the LORD spoke by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, 'Go, and remove the sackcloth from your body, and take your sandals off your feet.' And he did so, walking naked and barefoot. Then the LORD said, 'Just as My servant Isaiah has walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and a wonder against Egypt and Ethiopia, so shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians as prisoners and the Ethiopians as captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.'
** New King James Version of the Bible, Isaiah 20:2-4

* My parents were free about nudity, and we are too. I’d like our children to feel unashamed of whatever shape they are. People should worry about other things
** [[Heidi_Klum|Heidi Klum]], ''InStyle'' (September 2007)

* I thoroughly enjoy seeing a beautifully proportioned nude male. So did Michelangelo and Rodin. But if the male is blubbery, he should keep his beer barrel to himself and not be a portly polluter.
** [[w:June Lockhart|June Lockhart]], ''The Palm Beach Post'' (5 October 1972)

* If people were meant to run around naked, they wouldn't have been born wearing clothes.
** Reverend Loveshade as quoted in ''[[w:Discordian Works#Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht|Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht]]'' edited by Reverend Loveshade

* The more a society requires its respectable women to keep their bodies covered, the more likely those women are to be oppressed.
** Eristotle in [http://discordia.loveshade.org/ek-sen-trik-kuh| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht]

* A man who can't eat dinner naked on a leather couch is little better than a slave.
** [[w:Josh Ozersky|Josh Ozersky]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/blogs/food-for-men/cookbooks-guide-15408735 Eat Like a Man] (29 April 2013)

* In fact, research suggests that children who have seen their parents nude do not grow up to be emotionally scarred, but instead are more likely to be accepting of their own bodies and comfortable with their own sexuality.
** Holly Robinson, [http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/teaching-tolerance/the-naked-truth-on-family-nudity/ parents.com]

* Perhaps the dissenters believe that 'offense to others' ought to be the only reason for restricting nudity in public places generally. [...] The purpose of Indiana's nudity law would be violated, I think, if 60,000 fully consenting adults crowded into the Hoosierdome to display their genitals to one another, even if there were not an offended innocent in the crowd.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], in ''Barnes v. Glen Theatre, Inc.'' (1991)

* The fear that seeing naked people in some way harms children is not supported, however, by academic research. The small handful of studies on this topic in psychology and sociology have shown, instead, that children reared in an atmosphere containing family social nudity may benefit from the practice. If this is true, then proposed laws outlawing either social nudity in the home or children's participation at naturist (or nudist) settings are unjustified.
** [[w:Mark Storey|Mark Storey]] in ''[http://www.fcn.ca/children_2.htm Children, Social Nudity and Scholarly Study]''{{dead-link}}

* Yet, the truth is that nudity in the home, when handled in a respectful, matter-of-fact way, is perfectly natural and certainly not harmful.
** Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School in ''Sex Matters for Women'' (2002)&lt;!-- Guilford Press --&gt; 

* I honestly don't understand the big fuss made over nudity and sex in films. It's silly. On TV, the children can watch people murdering each other, which is a very unnatural thing, but they can't watch two people in the very natural process of making love. Now, really, that doesn't make any sense, does it?
** [[Sharon Tate]] as quoted in ''Sharon Tate and the Manson Murders'' (2000) by Greg King

*Going to have you naked, by the end of this song!
**Justin Timberlake, &quot;Rock Your Body&quot; (2002), ''Justified''

:'''Crawford''': One day my girlfriend, her boyfriend and I were sunbathing topless because that's Barabados - you can wear nothing if you want. And the Pepsi guy walks up and with my agent to meet us for lunch. I wondered if I should put on my top because I have a business relationship with him. I didn't want him to get offended because the rest of the beach had seen me with my top off. Meanwhile as he's walking towards me, he's saying to my agent &quot;I hope she puts on her top.&quot; He wasn't even being a schmuck, like wanting to see. He wanted to keep our relationship professional.
:'''Playboy''': Did you or didn't you?
:'''Crawford''': I left it off and it was fine with everyone.
* [[w:Cindy Crawford|Cindy Crawford]],  ''Playboy Interview: Cindy Crawford''  ''Playboy'' (September 1995)

*Women who would be dressed but appear to be naked will not enter paradise.  &lt;!--- Quoted from Ram Swarup, Understanding Islam through Hadis, 1983. [https://web.archive.org/web/20100328005955/http://www.bharatvani.org/books/uith/] ---&gt;
**Sahih Muslim (5310). Quoted from [[Ram Swarup]], Understanding Islam through Hadis, 1983. [https://web.archive.org/web/20100328005955/http://www.bharatvani.org/books/uith/]

==Dialogue==
:'''Police Inspector''': So your daddy takes his clothes off in front of you, does he?
:'''Nathan''': When he's rehearsing.
:* [[The Full Monty]]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Anna''': What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts? How can you be so interested in them?
:'''William''': Well...
:'''Anna''': I mean seriously: they're just breasts. Every second person has them. They're odd looking, they're for milk from your mother. What's all the fuss about?
:* [[Notting Hill]]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Judy''': Oh, thank you so much, I'd appreciate that more than you can imagine, it'd be such a- '''''OHHHHH!''''' You are naked!
:'''Yax''': Huh? Oh, for sure! We're a naturalist club!
:'''Nick''': Yeah. &quot;In Zootopia, anyone can be anything.&quot; And ''these'' guys? They be naked.
:* [[Zootopia]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|nudity}}
*[[w:Christian_Naturism#Quotations|Christian Naturism Quotations]]
*[http://barebrush.com/reporting/Why-the-Nude.pdf &quot;Why the Nude?&quot; Contemporary artists speak]

[[Category:Clothing]]
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      <text bytes="11580" xml:space="preserve">[[File:La Vérité, par Jules Joseph Lefebvre.jpg|thumb|My parents were free about nudity, and we are too. I’d like our children to feel unashamed of whatever shape they are. People should worry about other things. — [[Heidi Klum]] ]]
[[File:The Book of the Homeless (New York, Charles Scribner's Sons, 1916) 269.png|thumb| If people were meant to run around naked, they wouldn't have been born wearing clothes. 
—Reverend Loveshade]]
[[File:047- Anonym, c.1855.jpg|thumb|To me the the coolest thing about having a boyfriend is that you can just stare at his naked body and not have to look away out of politeness. I find the male form so fascinating. I have a few [favorite body parts]. I like that kind of dent [pelvic bone], that V. And I love [men's] butts. There's nothing better than a good butt. —[[w:Dana Delany|Dana Delany]]]]
[[File:Durer Adam and Eve.jpg|thumb|And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. —[[Genesis]] 2:25 ([[King James Version]])]]
'''[[w:Nudity|Nudity]]''' is the state of being in which a human is without clothing or specifically not covering the [[w:Human reproductive system|genitals]]. Partial nudity may be defined as not covering other parts of the body deemed sexual. Nudity is culturally complex due to meanings given various states of undress in differing social situations. In any particular society, these meanings are defined in relation to being properly dressed, not in relation to the specific body parts being exposed. Nakedness and clothing are connected to many [[w:Culture|cultural categories]] such as [[w:Identity (social science)|identity]], [[privacy]], [[social status]] and [[Morality|moral behavior]]. Although often used interchangeably, &quot;naked&quot; and &quot;nude&quot; are also used in English to distinguish between the various meanings of being unclothed.

[[File:Gloeden, Wilhelm von (1856-1931) - n. 0107 - Taschen p. 49.jpg|thumb|I think male nudity is wonderful. ~ [[w:Sandra Dee|Sandra Dee]]]]
[[File:Gloeden, Wilhem von (1856-1931) - n. 1094 - Nudo maschile con cane.jpg|thumb|Gloeden, Wilhem von (1856-1931) - n. 1094 - Nudo maschile con cane]]

==Quotes==
* Any excuse is good to... get naked.
** [[w:Laura Gemser|Laura Gemser]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0dE8_6MroQ Laura Gemser Interview]

* I'm so comfortable with nudity, it's difficult for me to keep my clothes on in just my own everyday life. As soon as I walk in the door when I come home, off go the clothes.
** Marliece Andrada, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_oHsaNgcVI Marliece Andrada Interview 1998]

* And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
** Authorized Version (King James Version) of the [[Bible]], Genesis 2:25

* The streaking syndrome started a new feeling about freeing the body.
** [[w:Suzy Chaffee|Suzy Chaffee]], ''Suzy Chaffee: The liberated beauty'', ''The Beaver County Times'' (17 March 1975)

* Do you wish to honor the Body of the Savior? Do not despise it when it is naked. Do not honor it in church with silk vestments while outside it is naked and numb with cold. He who said, “This is my body,” and made it so by his word, is the same that said, “You saw me hungry and you gave me no food. As you did it not to the least of these, you did it not to me.” Honor him then by sharing your property with the poor. For what God needs is not golden chalices but golden souls.
** [[John Chrysostom]], ''[http://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/npnf110/Page_303.html Homilies on the Gospel of Saint Matthew]'', Homily L

* To me the the coolest thing about having a boyfriend is that you can just stare at his naked body and not have to look away out of politeness. I find the male form so fascinating. I have a few [favorite body parts]. I like that kind of dent [pelvic bone], that V. And I love [men's] butts. There's nothing better than a good butt.
** [[w:Dana Delany|Dana Delany]], as quoted in [http://www.movieline.com/1994/08/01/dana-matrix movieline.com ''Movieline'' (1 August 1994)]

* I think male nudity is wonderful.
** [[w:Sandra Dee|Sandra Dee]], ''The Palm Beach Post'' (5 October 1972)

*Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: I said: Apostle of Allah, from whom should we conceal our private parts and to whom can we show? He replied: conceal your private parts except from your wife and from [[whom your right hands possess]] (slave-girls)...
**Hadith. Sunan Abu Dawud 31:4006

*A man may view his wife or his slave in any part.—It is lawful for a man to look at his slave girl in any part, provided he be not related him within the prohibited degrees; and also at his wife in any part, even in the pudenda, if he pleases; because the Prophet said, “shut your eyes from all excepting your wives and female slaves.” Nevertheless, it is most becoming that a husband and wife should neither of them look at the genital parts of the other, as the Prophet has said, “when ye copulate with women of your own tribe, you must conceal as much s possible; and be not then naked, as that savours too much of the custom of asses.”
**The Hidaya p.599. [https://archive.org/details/TheHedayaCommentaryOnIslamicLawsByShyakhBurhanuddinAbuBakrAlMarghinani] The Hedaya Commentary On Islamic Laws By ShyakhBurhanuddinAbuBakrAlMarghinani

* At the same time the LORD spoke by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, 'Go, and remove the sackcloth from your body, and take your sandals off your feet.' And he did so, walking naked and barefoot. Then the LORD said, 'Just as My servant Isaiah has walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and a wonder against Egypt and Ethiopia, so shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians as prisoners and the Ethiopians as captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.'
** New King James Version of the Bible, Isaiah 20:2-4

* My parents were free about nudity, and we are too. I’d like our children to feel unashamed of whatever shape they are. People should worry about other things
** [[Heidi_Klum|Heidi Klum]], ''InStyle'' (September 2007)

* I thoroughly enjoy seeing a beautifully proportioned nude male. So did Michelangelo and Rodin. But if the male is blubbery, he should keep his beer barrel to himself and not be a portly polluter.
** [[w:June Lockhart|June Lockhart]], ''The Palm Beach Post'' (5 October 1972)

* If people were meant to run around naked, they wouldn't have been born wearing clothes.
** Reverend Loveshade as quoted in ''[[w:Discordian Works#Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht|Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht]]'' edited by Reverend Loveshade

* The more a society requires its respectable women to keep their bodies covered, the more likely those women are to be oppressed.
** Eristotle in [http://discordia.loveshade.org/ek-sen-trik-kuh| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht]

* A man who can't eat dinner naked on a leather couch is little better than a slave.
** [[w:Josh Ozersky|Josh Ozersky]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/blogs/food-for-men/cookbooks-guide-15408735 Eat Like a Man] (29 April 2013)

* In fact, research suggests that children who have seen their parents nude do not grow up to be emotionally scarred, but instead are more likely to be accepting of their own bodies and comfortable with their own sexuality.
** Holly Robinson, [http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/teaching-tolerance/the-naked-truth-on-family-nudity/ parents.com]

* Perhaps the dissenters believe that 'offense to others' ought to be the only reason for restricting nudity in public places generally. [...] The purpose of Indiana's nudity law would be violated, I think, if 60,000 fully consenting adults crowded into the Hoosierdome to display their genitals to one another, even if there were not an offended innocent in the crowd.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], in ''Barnes v. Glen Theatre, Inc.'' (1991)

* The fear that seeing naked people in some way harms children is not supported, however, by academic research. The small handful of studies on this topic in psychology and sociology have shown, instead, that children reared in an atmosphere containing family social nudity may benefit from the practice. If this is true, then proposed laws outlawing either social nudity in the home or children's participation at naturist (or nudist) settings are unjustified.
** [[w:Mark Storey|Mark Storey]] in ''[http://www.fcn.ca/children_2.htm Children, Social Nudity and Scholarly Study]''{{dead-link}}

* Yet, the truth is that nudity in the home, when handled in a respectful, matter-of-fact way, is perfectly natural and certainly not harmful.
** Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School in ''Sex Matters for Women'' (2002)&lt;!-- Guilford Press --&gt; 

* I honestly don't understand the big fuss made over nudity and sex in films. It's silly. On TV, the children can watch people murdering each other, which is a very unnatural thing, but they can't watch two people in the very natural process of making love. Now, really, that doesn't make any sense, does it?
** [[Sharon Tate]] as quoted in ''Sharon Tate and the Manson Murders'' (2000) by Greg King

*Going to have you naked, by the end of this song!
**Justin Timberlake, &quot;Rock Your Body&quot; (2002), ''Justified''

:'''Crawford''': One day my girlfriend, her boyfriend and I were sunbathing topless because that's Barabados - you can wear nothing if you want. And the Pepsi guy walks up and with my agent to meet us for lunch. I wondered if I should put on my top because I have a business relationship with him. I didn't want him to get offended because the rest of the beach had seen me with my top off. Meanwhile as he's walking towards me, he's saying to my agent &quot;I hope she puts on her top.&quot; He wasn't even being a schmuck, like wanting to see. He wanted to keep our relationship professional.
:'''Playboy''': Did you or didn't you?
:'''Crawford''': I left it off and it was fine with everyone.
* [[w:Cindy Crawford|Cindy Crawford]],  ''Playboy Interview: Cindy Crawford''  ''Playboy'' (September 1995)

*Women who would be dressed but appear to be naked will not enter paradise.  &lt;!--- Quoted from Ram Swarup, Understanding Islam through Hadis, 1983. [https://web.archive.org/web/20100328005955/http://www.bharatvani.org/books/uith/] ---&gt;
**Sahih Muslim (5310). Quoted from [[Ram Swarup]], Understanding Islam through Hadis, 1983. [https://web.archive.org/web/20100328005955/http://www.bharatvani.org/books/uith/]

==Dialogue==
:'''Police Inspector''': So your daddy takes his clothes off in front of you, does he?
:'''Nathan''': When he's rehearsing.
:* [[The Full Monty]]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Anna''': What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts? How can you be so interested in them?
:'''William''': Well...
:'''Anna''': I mean seriously: they're just breasts. Every second person has them. They're odd looking, they're for milk from your mother. What's all the fuss about?
:* [[Notting Hill]]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Judy''': Oh, thank you so much, I'd appreciate that more than you can imagine, it'd be such a- '''''OHHHHH!''''' You are naked!
:'''Yax''': Huh? Oh, for sure! We're a naturalist club!
:'''Nick''': Yeah. &quot;In Zootopia, anyone can be anything.&quot; And ''these'' guys? They be naked.
:* [[Zootopia]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|nudity}}
*[[w:Christian_Naturism#Quotations|Christian Naturism Quotations]]
*[http://barebrush.com/reporting/Why-the-Nude.pdf &quot;Why the Nude?&quot; Contemporary artists speak]

[[Category:Clothing]]
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    <title>R. A. Lafferty</title>
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      <text bytes="56427" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Lafferty2.jpg|333px|thumb|I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively [[complex]], and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche [[ideas]] will have this trouble.]]
'''[[w:R. A. Lafferty|Raphael Aloysius Lafferty]]''' ([[7 November]] [[1914]] – [[18 March]] [[2002]]) was an [[American]] science fiction and fantasy writer, famous for his humorous use of [[metaphor]], narrative structure, and [[language]] in his very peculiar forms of etymological wit.

== Quotes ==
[[File: Cernunnos - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;]]
[[File: Electricsheep-3052.jpg|thumb|To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.]]
[[File: Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.]]
[[File: RegenbogenDSCN0352.JPG|thumb|The [[good]] [[stories]], of course, write themselves...]]

* &quot;Tell me the [[truth]], girl: how does the man next door ship out trailer-loads of material from a building ten times too small to hold the stuff?&quot; '''&quot;He cuts prices.&quot;'''
** &quot;In Our Block&quot; (1965); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;'''
**&quot;[http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/hole.html The Hole in the Corner]&quot; (1967); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.''' Renew the [[face]] of the [[earth]]. It is a loved face, but now it is covered with the webs of tired spiders.
** Judy's letter to the dispersed members of the Church of Omaha, in &quot;And Walk Now Gently Through the Fire&quot; (1972)

* '''When very young, Hannali would sit on the black ground and [[Laughter|chuckle]] till it was feared he would injure himself. Whatever came over him, prenatal witticism or ancestral joke, he seldom was able to hold his glee.''' In all his life he never learned to hold it in. 
** ''Okla Hannali'' (1972)

* '''I write as clearly as I am able to. I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively complex, and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche ideas will have this trouble.'''
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* Though my short stories are the more readable, my novels do have more to say; and they will, if anyone has the patience for it, repay a rereading.
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* For, without cruelty, only a limited success is ever possible in opera.
** ''Selenium Ghosts of the Eighteen Seventies'' (1978), in [[w:Terry Carr|Terry Carr (ed.)]], ''[[w:Terry Carr|The Year's Finest Fantasy: Volume 2]],'' p. 233 (originally published in ''[[w:Universe 8|Universe 8]])''

* '''Science Fiction has long been babbling about cosmic destructions and the ending of either physical or civilized [[worlds]], but it has all been displaced babble.''' SF has been carrying on about near-future or far-future destructions and its mind-set will not allow it to realize that the destruction of our world has already happened in the quite recent past, that today is &quot;The Day After The World Ended&quot;. … '''I am speaking literally about a real happening, the end of the world in which we lived till fairly recent years.''' The destruction or unstructuring of that world, which is still sometimes referred to as &quot;Western Civilization&quot; or &quot;Modern Civilization&quot;, happened suddenly, some time in the half century between 1912 and 1962. That world, which was &quot;The World&quot; for a few centuries, is gone. '''Though it ended quite recently, the amnesia concerning its ending is general.''' Several historiographers have given the opinion that these amnesias are features common to all &quot;ends of worlds&quot;. Nobody now remembers our late world very clearly, and nobody will ever remember it clearly in the natural order of things. '''It can't be recollected because recollection is one of the things it took with it when it went...'''
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''In its flexibility and in its wide-open opportunities, this is the total [[Utopia]].''' Anything that you can conceive of, you can do in this non-world. Nothing can stop you except a total bankruptcy of [[creativity]]. The seedbed is waiting. '''All the circumstances stand ready. The fructifying minerals are literally jumping out of the ground. And [[nothing]] grows.''' And nothing grows. And nothing grows. Well, why doesn't it?
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem.''' For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him.
** &quot;Golden Gate&quot; in ''Golden Gate and Other Stories'' (1982)

* I don't think I should be getting more attention from mainstream book reviewers. I've never written any mainstream books, and I'm always surprised when the mainstreamers notice me at all.
** As quoted in [http://www.sanduskyregister.com/story/201501160010 &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991); here in the ''Sandusky Register'' (16 January 2015)]

* I don't regard myself as a [[Surrealist]] in the sense of the &quot;[[w:Surrealist Manifesto|Surrealist Manifesto]]&quot; published by [[Andre Breton]] in 1924. To me, that Manifesto is somewhat dated, being a recoil from [[World War I]], and being too heavily [[Freudian]]. '''My own unconscious is more [[Jungian]] than Freudian.''' But if Breton hadn't staked claim to the [[name]], I would probably call myself a Surrealist in the &quot;Remembrance of Things Within&quot; sense, but not in the &quot;world of dream and fantasy joined to the everyday rational world, becoming 'an absolute reality, a surreality'.&quot; '''I suppose that I believe in another sort of a surreality or super-reality, but it would have to be on a wider basis than the encounters of myself and me.''' As often as not, it is the subconscious that supplies the rational element, and the exterior world that supplies the dream and fantasy feeling.
** As quoted in &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991)

* '''The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.'''
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''The [[good]] stories, of course, write themselves.''' And somebody wants to know who are the really good writers, and how many of them there are. There aren't any. Most of the writers are likeable frauds. Some are unlikable frauds.
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* Mr. Lafferty says, &quot;'''I'm the fellow who, for more than a quarter century, has faithfully maintained the thesis that all writers should be funny-looking and all stories should be [[funny]]. Almost all of the [[evil]] in the [[world]] is brought about by handsome writers doing pompous pieces.''' But sometimes readers tell me that such a story of mine is not funny at all. 'Wait, wait,' I tell them. 'You're holding it upside-down. Now try it.' And sure enough it is funny if they get ahold of it right. This caution is especially applicable to the story 'Junkyard Thoughts.' Be sure you're not holding it upside-down or it will be merely bewildering.&quot;
** Introduction to 'Junkyard Thoughts' in ''Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine'' (February 1986)

=== ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968) ===
[[File: The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own [[mind]].]]

* '''Paul, there is something very slack about a future that will take a biting satire for a vapid dream.'''
** The character of [[Thomas More]] on the future reception of his ''[[w:Utopia (book)|Utopia]]'', in Ch. 2

* '''The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own mind.'''
** Ch. 7

* Now then, I have given you a short fair hearing as the law requires. I do not solicit the support of your party, though, in all honesty, if it had more than one member I might.
** Ch. 9

===''Space Chantey'' (1968)===
[[File:Arco iris circular.JPG|thumb|This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]] … The [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct.]]
:&lt;small&gt;A comedic space-fantasy based upon the ''[[w:Odyssey|Odyssey]]'' of [[Homer]] and other tales of mythology and folklore. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Walhall by Emil Doepler.jpg|thumb|There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].]]
[[File:Henry De Groux001.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow [[thought]] say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.]]
[[File:MAN Atlante fronte 1040572.JPG|thumb|By my attention I hold it [[all]] in being. [[Nothing]] exists unless it is perceived.]]
[[File:Icon Greek mythology Odysseus mast.jpg|thumb| And finally a [[great]] savior broke the charm…]]
[[File:Villa Romana de La Olmeda Mosaicos romanos 001 Ulises.jpg|thumb|I am a [[great]] one for winning [[justice]] for the lowly, and I do not [[scare]] easily.]]
[[File:Sheep's face, Malta.jpg|thumb|My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you [[people]] of eating men.]]
[[File:Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus.jpg|thumb|I resent your calling this a silly [[myth]]. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck Tilla Durieux als Circe.jpg|thumb|I am mistress of [[all]] the [[sciences]]. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called [[magic]].]]
[[File:Dosso Dossi 003.jpg|thumb| The [[witch]] has been playing a semantic [[trick]] on us.]]
[[File:Pretty Little Liars.jpg|thumb|Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.]]
[[File:William Bouguereau - Dante and Virgile - Google Art Project 2.jpg|thumb|If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the [[wrong]] place.]]
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 063.jpg|thumb|You show signs of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.]]
[[File:Ulysse dans l'Ile de Calypso.JPG|thumb| [[Peace]] be not the [[end]] of my epic!]]
[[File:Nicolae Vermont - Visul lui Ulise.jpg|thumb| Make no [[mistake]], this only seems &lt;br&gt; the [[end]] of it.]]

* &lt;p&gt;'''''Lend ear while things incredible we bring about &lt;br&gt; And Spacemen [[dead]] and [[deathless]] yet we [[sing]] about''':—''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'' And some were weak and wan, and some were [[strong]] enough,'' &lt;br&gt; ''And some got [[home]], but damn it took them long enough!''&lt;/p&gt;
** Ch. 1

* '''This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]]. The ship logs could not tell it rightly nor could any flatfooted prose. And the [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct. They could only be sung by a bard gone blind from viewing [[suns]] that were suns.'''
** Ch. 1

* '''The [[war]] was finished.''' It had lasted ten equivalent years and taken ten million lives. Thus it was neither of long duration nor of serious attrition. It hadn't any great significance; it was not intended to have. '''It did not prove a point, since all points had long ago been proven. What it did, perhaps, was to emphasize an aspect, sharpen a concept, underline a trend.''' &lt;br&gt; On the whole it was a successful operation. Economically and ecologically it was of healthy effect, and who should grumble? &lt;br&gt; And after wars, men go home. No, no, men start for home. '''It's not the same.'''
** Ch. 1

* These men were the salt of the [[skies]], the one out of ten who had determinedly stayed alive through the whole war, very often hurt, absolutely refusing to be killed.
** Ch. 1

* '''When we travel we find how greatly our boyhood [[dreams]] are outstripped by [[reality]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum, about the planet [[w:Lotus-eaters|Lotophage]], Ch. 1

* I do not [[understand]] your [[custom]] in this, but we do not intend to [[fight]] until [[all]] of us are dead. '''We desire very much that none of us be dead. And we will fight till all of you are dead only if it is absolutely [[necessary]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum to Bjorn, on planet [[w:Valhalla|Valhal]], also known as [[w:Laestrygonians|Lamos]], in Ch. 2

* '''There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].'''
** Bjorn to Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow thought say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.''' There is the forgetfulness and the loss of [[identity]]. The [[spirit]], even as the body, is unstrung and burst and scattered. '''One goes down to death, and it leaves a mark on one forever.'''
** On death and the nightly resurrection of the slain on Valhal, Ch. 2

* '''I've had enough of this place where they stuff you full of bull and then hunt you down and [[kill]] you every day.'''
** Crewman Humphrey on Valhal, Ch. 2

* There are [[skies]] we have not seen yet! There are whole realms still unvisited by us. '''We will not be penned in even a giant's pen. We fly!'''
** Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''I will never tell anyone how much [[fun]] it is in this place.'''
** Oath by Captain Roadstrum not to tell how much fun Valhal is, written in [[blood]] from the roots of his torn-out tongue, Ch. 2

* The ''Dong'' button was just that, a big green button with the word ''Dong'' engraved on it. You pushed it, and it went ''dong''. Well, that was almost too simple. Should there not be a deeper reason for it? And the small instruction plate over it didn’t add much. It read: “'''Wrong prong, bong gong.'''”
** Description of a '''''Dong''''' button, which is later revealed to reverse the flow of time for the wielder, if there has been a dire error made which needs correcting, Ch. 3
&lt;!-- * ''A thing unseen is on its face unseeable; &lt;br&gt; a being, savored not nor heard, unbe-able; &lt;p&gt; and be assured there's naught at all outside of us &lt;br&gt; unless perceived by one or by a pride of us, &lt;p&gt; nor someone see it move it will not move at all, and damn! he had a husky guy to prove it all!''
** Ch. 3 --&gt;

* They were down on Kentron-Kosmon, an insignificant world. And yet, in the middle of Space-Port there (a cow pasture rather; it wasn't much of a spaceport) there was a nice plaque of electrum and on it was lettered: '''''This is the [[w:Omphalos|Exact Center]] of the [[Universe]].'''''
** Ch. 4

* '''''I'm the guy who keeps it all going. If I weren't here, you wouldn't be here either.''' I know it all, I'm a smart-aleck. Loan-sharking and fencing. Any time I can't see you, you've had it.''
** Sign on the booth of &quot;the big fellow&quot; of Kentron-Kosmon, [[w:Atlas (mythology)|Atlas]], in Ch. 3

* It isn't my profundity that makes me a mental marvel, it's the amazing detail of my perception. There's nobody else who can keep so many things on his mind at once. 
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* As regards very small celestial bodies of a light-minded nature, '''the law of levity is allowed to supersede the law of gravity.'''
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* '''I tried to tell you, but words will not convey it. One has to be inside it to comprehend the magnitude.''' … It ''was'' the beginning. It's the only thing there is. But it was haphazard for so many aeons that it spooks me to think about it. There were always three or four maintaining it, but there was no one person strong enough to take it all over. &quot;Somewhere there must be someone strong enough to take it all over,&quot; I said to myself in a direful moment, but the strongest person I could think of was myself. I've been doing it ever since. … '''By my attention I hold it all in being. Nothing exists unless it is perceived.''' If perception fails for a moment, then that thing fails forever. … I hate to be misjudged. They say that I bear it all on my shoulders, as though I were a stud or a balk. '''It's not on my great shoulders, it is amazing head on my great shoulders that maintains all.'''
** Atlas, on bearing the burden of maintaining the worlds, in Ch. 4

* '''An excess of science will leave none of us alive.'''
**Roadstrum to Puckett, on using crew members to test the lethality of the [[w:Siren|Siren-Zo]], in Ch. 4

* &quot;'Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday,' so the poor slaves had to sing in their labor for the [[w:Púca|puca]]. '''And finally a great savior broke the charm.''' 'And Wednesday too' he said, and then it was all over with.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Roadstrum is the great savior who breaks the charm,&quot; Roadstrum announced. &quot;'''I will set a Wednesday-term to the monster.''' But there are other elements in this…&quot;
** On confronting the Siren-Zo of Sireneca, in Ch. 4

* '''Roadstrum had a way of putting it on a little thick himself.''' &lt;br&gt; &quot;Be there a man among you who doubts my [[w:Demesne|demesne]] or destiny, then I have fared in vain,&quot; he said. &quot;I bare my throat to the treacherous steel —&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;All right, all right,&quot; the three tough crewmen capitulated. We're with you all the way and in everything. Only spare us the 'act.'&quot;
** Roadstrum confronting a potential mutiny, in Ch. 5

* '''Roadstrum had always believed that he had troubles enough of his own. He seldom borrowed trouble, and never on usurious terms.''' He knew that it was a solid thing that sheep do not gather in taverns and drink beer, not even potato beer; that they do not sing, not even badly; that they do not tell stories. But a stranger can easily make trouble for himself on a strange world by challenging local customs. &lt;br&gt; &quot;But I am the greet Roadstrum,&quot; he said, suddenly and loudly. &quot;'''I am a great one for winning justice for the lowly, and I do not scare easily.''' I threw the great Atlas at the wrestle, and who else can say as much? I suffer from the heroic sickness every third day about nightfall, and I am not sure whether this is the third day or not. '''I say you are men and not sheep. I say: Arise and be men indeed!'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;It has been tried before,&quot; said Roadstrum's friend, the sheep, &quot;and it didn't work.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;You have tried a revolt, and it failed?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No, no, '''another man tried to incite us to revolt, and failed.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5, on Polyphemia

* &quot;Strangers may not lodge complaints till they have been in residence here for ninety days,&quot; the [[w:Cacique|Cacique]] said, &quot;and no stranger has ever remained with us that long.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you people of eating men.'''&quot; 
** Ch. 5

* &quot;'''Here there are warlocks and [[w:Mandragora (demon)|mandragoras]] and witches''',&quot; the navigation data log issued. &lt;br&gt; &quot;When your machines start to go [[wikt:droll|droll]] on you you're in trouble,&quot; Roadstrum growled. &quot;I can get wise answers from my men. I don't need a machine for that.&quot;
** Ch. 6, on approaching the world of [[w:Aeaea|Aeaea]]

* 'We are strangers, lost and bemused,&quot; Roadstrum said to the lady. &quot;We have landed here by accident. We are looking for a lady who was singing, the lady who (according to silly myth) is identical with the planet and who sang the planet into being.&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''I am [[w:Circe|Aeaea]].''' To my notion there is no other lady anywhere. And '''I resent your calling this a silly myth. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.''' Well, come along, come along! You are my things now, and you will come when I call you.
** Ch. 6

* &quot;'''I am mistress of all the sciences. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called magic.''' I manipulate [[w: Noumenon|noumena]], regarding [[w:Monad (Greek philosophy)|monads]] as points of entry tangential to [[w: Hylomorphism|hylomorphism]]. As to the paradox of [[w:Essentialism|Primary Essence]] being contained in [[w:Quiddity|Quiddity]], the larger in the smaller, I have my own solution. The difficulty is always in not confusing [[w:Contingency (philosophy)|Contingency]] with [[w:Inflection|Accidence]]. '''Do you understand me?'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Sure. '''You're a witch.'''&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''Do you not know that the underground lands are shared by many [[worlds]]?''' It is all one underground, a vast place, and it is but a trick on which globe one will surface on coming out. '''This is the reason that the inside of every world is so much vaster than the outside.''' You are fooled by the shape of these little balls on which things live and crawl; you see the universe inside out; you see the orbs as containing and not contained. I will teach you to see it right if you please me. 
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I am the consummate scientist, Road-Storm. Science has suffered in having her name applied to mechanics, an ugly step-child of hers.''' Matter herself is a humiliation to the serious. We cannot make it vanish forever, but can make it seem to. For my purpose that is even better. '''All matter can be modified as long as it is kept subjective. Let us keep it so.''' … Those who fail to understand my science may call it magic or hypnotism or deception. But it is only my projection of total subjectivity.
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I'll break the spell or the science of her singing yet. As the only man left it devolves on me to do it.'''
** Roadstrum, not realizing he has become a small ape, in Ch. 6

* Something was working in Roadstrum's little ape head. '''When he had been a man he had always known when it was time for action; particularly he had always known the last [[moment]] when [[action]] was still [[possible]]. He knew now that that moment was come very near.''' … Then a blinding light burst upon Roadstrum, and he saw the truth of the situation. Many things Roadstrum was not, and it was sometimes wondered why he was the natural leader of all the men. '''He was their leader because he was a man on whom the blinding light sometimes descended.'''
** Ch. 6

* '''The witch has been playing a semantic trick on us.''' We were already pretty salty animals when we came here! It is toy animals she has turned us into. We have been working against ourselves, trying to be men again, but to be her idea of men, since we live in her context. But she does not know real animals, or men. … '''Be you not toys any longer! Stir up the wild business in you. You have to be real animals before you can be men.'''
** Ch. 6

* It was the most exclusive club in the world, in all the worlds, and this is a mighty pale statement to make about it. '''Let us emphasize that it was hard to get into.'''
** On &quot;The Club&quot; AKA the High Liar's Club, Ch. 7

* &quot;This is the Improbable Club,&quot; said the President-Emeritus in a heavy muffled voice, &quot;and you things have made an improbable entry. Many unqualified persons have attempted to crash this Club, but you have done it literally. Whether you will be able to qualify for our high membership is another thing. It will not matter. We accept, for a brief moment at least, all who come here as members. '''We will quickly measure you one way or another. We have no living ex-members.''' Sit you down, all, and unwind your ears. Remember, each topper must be topped.&quot;
** Ch. 7

* '''Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.'''
** Ch. 7

* &quot;For one [[crime]] there is no asylum even in the Club,&quot; whispered Horace the Snake, who had sharp ears for whispering. &quot;'''For all other crimes we give asylum, for the most heinous crime in the universe we give no asylum.'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;What is the most heinous crime in the universe?&quot; Roadstrum asked. &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Killing a songbird.'''&quot;
** Ch. 7

*&lt;p&gt;'''''The place itself, and ne'er a good word spoke of it, &lt;br&gt; You shiver when you even make a joke of it.'''''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though some go cocky, gaily in hand-basket there, &lt;br&gt; The most fare sadly in a clammy casket there…''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Undying pain and gaping loss, no doubt of it. &lt;br&gt; A wide way leading in and no way out of it!''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''But none have told the blackest horror shrouded there — &lt;br&gt; Tall teeming terror‚ but it sure is crowded there.''&lt;/p&gt;
** On Hellpepper Planet, Ch. 7

* '''If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the wrong place.'''
** A lieutenant of [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* '''You show [[sign]]s of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.''' If you are not serious now, by hell you'll get serious pretty quick!
** [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* This petty place cannot be [[Hell]], Roadstrum? Ah, but it is my friend. '''That, you see, is the hell of it.'''
** Tiresias, Ch. 7

* Man-a-bleeding, but they broke out of that place! '''You say it can't be done, but they did it. Their expectations had been too high, and no second-rate Hell could hold them.''' &lt;br&gt; In a way it was their greatest feat. No one else had ever broken out of there before.
** Ch. 7

* &quot;I'm doing pretty good. I'm a seminal [[genius]], they say, and I have the most sophisticated tools ever devised to work with. And I do build some good things for them. I'm quite successful. I'll tell you something, though. In the daytime, with all those sophisticated tools, and particularly if someone's watching me, I just stall around. But at night — &quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Ah, at night! What do you do then, Hondstarfer?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Put away those damned sophisticated tools and get my stone hammers. That's when I build the good stuff.''' Don't give me away, though, Roadstrum.
** Ch. 8, Hondstarfer of Valhal, speaking of his work as a design engineer.

* '''The [[eye]] in his [[hand]] winked at him dourly. Eye was a tough old gump, not given to easy enthusiasms.''' Roadstrum put it back in his pocket and once more contemplated his good fortune.
** Comments on Roadstrum speaking to the pickled eye he carries in his pocket, in Ch. 8

* '''I will be double-damned to a better Hell than Hellpepper Planet if I will have my ending here in peace! Peace be not the end of my epic!''' An epic is already failed if it have an ending. '''I don't care how it ended the first time — it will not end the same now!'''
** Roadstrum, in Ch. 8

*&lt;p&gt;''His soaring vaunt escaped the blooming ears of us, &lt;br&gt; He's gone, he's dead, he's dirt, he disappears from us! ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; ''Be this the [[death]] of highest thrust of [[human]] [[all]]? &lt;br&gt; The flaming end of bright and shining crewmen all?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Destroyed? His road is run? It's but a bend of it;'' &lt;br&gt; '''''Make no [[mistake]], this only seems'''''&lt;/p&gt;
:::: '''''the [[end]] of it.'''''
:* Ch. 8

=== ''The Reefs of Earth'' (1968) ===
* ‎Sometimes traveling people will be talking together. They will say how good it is in some places and how bad it is in others. And, sooner or later, one of them is bound to mention it. &quot;Talk about really being out in the boondocks!&quot; he will say, &quot;there's a little planet named [[Earth]] —&quot;

* It was their way of defying that tricky place Earth. That place will hurt you if you let it get the hop on you. They spooked the Earth spooks away with their stories. They whistled in the dark.

* &quot;Pirates are perhaps the greatest invention of Earth people,&quot; Elizabeth interrupted loftily, &quot;and their pirate stories are wonderful entertainment for small children. We have to give Earth people credit for that, they invented pirates.&quot;

===''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)===
[[File: Glory, spectre.jpg|thumb|It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.]]

* &quot;There was a later time when [[sincere]] men tried to build an organization as wide as the [[world]] to secure the [[peace]] of the world. It had been tried before and it had failed before. Perhaps if it failed this time it would not be tried again for a very long while. '''The [[idea]] of the thing was attacked by good and bad men, in good faith and bad.''' The final realization of it was so close that it could be touched with the fingertips. A gambler wouldn't have given odds on it either way. It teetered, and it almost seemed as though it would succeed. Then members of that group interfered.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;And it failed, O'Claire?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No. It [[succeeded]], Foley, as in the other case. '''It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.'''&quot;
** Ch. 4

* &quot;A newspaper man has got to know when to keep his mouth and his mind shut. You might end up dead.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Isn't that the usual fate of men, Harry?&quot;
** Ch. 8

===''The Flame is Green'' (1971)===
[[File:Cloud-top green flash, San Francisco, California - 2006.jpg|thumb|Do not be [[deceived]] by the way [[men]] of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]...]]
[[File: Square1.jpg|thumb|Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive.]]
[[File: Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]. They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen.]]
[[File: Fogbow glory spectre bridge.JPG |thumb|A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it [[grows]] out in spans towards the further one.]]
[[File: Internet map 1024.jpg|thumb|In this [[growing]] there are no really new things or new situation. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.]]
[[File: Plasma lamp touching.jpg|thumb|Whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a [[devil]]...]]

* “'''The world is a garden''',” the old man said. “It is a farm, a plantation, a sheep-ranch. In the garden are the cities also; they too are a great part of the planting. '''Believe me, all these plantations are sowed with good seed. But the Enemy from the Beginning also sows the red blight''': these are the charlocks, the tares, called ''zizania'' in the Vulgate. Do not be fooled as to what it is and who sowed it. Do not be fooled in the factory or the arsenal, in the ship-yard or the shop; do not be fooled on the bleak farms or in the crowded city, in the club or in the workers’ hall or in the drawing room. The wrong thing that is sowed is the red weed, the red blight. And the Enemy has done this. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Or '''let us say that we have a green thing growing forever. Everything that is done is done by it. And on it we also have the red parasite crunching forever: and everything that is undone is undone by that.''' The parasite will present itself as a modern thing. It will call itself the Great Change. Less often, and warily, it will call itself the Great Renewal. But it can never be another thing than the Red Failure returned. It is a disease, it is a scarlet fever, a typhoid, a diphtheria; it is the Africa disease, it is the red leprosy, it is the crab-cancer. It is the death of the individual and of the corporate soul. And incidentally, but very often, it is also the death of the individual and of the corporate body. '''We are asked to swear fealty to the parasite disease which the [[enemy]] sowed from the beginning. I will not do it, and I [[hope]] that you will not.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;'''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]''',&quot; the Black Pope was saying, and now his head was quite powdered with snow. &quot;It used to be only the [[English]] who excelled in the deception of words. Then the [[French]] went even beyond them, and [[now]] the whole [[world]] is adept at it.&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. [[Listen]] to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive.''' Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. '''Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only stock in trade.'''
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;There are only two possible statements that can be made about the [[worlds]],&quot; the Black Pope of the Carlist Hills had lectured one day. &quot;Alpha: There is a [[God]]. Omega: there is not a God. To adhere to either of these two statements strongly is to be [[logical]] at least. Not to do so is to be in the snivelling wasteland between and to have no point of contact with logic or [[reason]].&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Beware of those who manufacture final answers as they go along, of those who will catch you on their catch-phrases and let you perish in the traps. ''[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]''.''' They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen. They may be too bright for us, they may be too clear for us. Well then, we must clarify our own [[eyes]]. '''Our task is to [[grow]] out until we reach them.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''We ourselves become the bridges out over the interval that is the world and [[time]].''' It is a [[daring]] thing to fling ourselves out over that void that is black and scarlet below and green and gold above. '''A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it grows out in spans towards the further one.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''In this growing there are no really new things or new situations. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.''' There is [[nothing]] new about railways or foundries or lathes or steel furnaces. They also are green-growing things. There is nothing new about organizations of men or of [[money]]. '''All these growing things are good, if they grow towards the final answers that were given in the beginning.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''The devils stroll the earth again and infect with the red sickness. They must, at all cost to themselves, destroy the [[growing]] tendrils before such can [[touch]] the other side. For, whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a devil.''' It is a thing to be [[tested]]. Notice it that whenever there is the special shrilling, when there is the wild flinging out of catchwords to catch you in, when there are the weird exceptions and inclusions, when there are specious arguments and the murderous defamations, when all the volubility of the voltairians and the cuteness of the queers has been assembled to confound you, then one green growth has almost reached across to the other side, one devil is in danger of extinction. Oh, they will defend against that!
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* Listen now to a series of sayings that always come hard to brave people. '''Our own [[great]] movement will grow with its own impetus wherever it is not blighted.''' We will break up persons of blight and centers of blight. '''But often, and this will be the hard part for all of you to understand, we will warn and advise before we [[kill]]. And quite often we will not kill at all. Try to [[understand]] this.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

=== ''Arrive at Easterwine'' (1971) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''Arrive at Easterwine : The Autobiography of a Ktistec Machine'' — The narrator of this story is a &quot;Epiktistes&quot; conscious machine about the size of a building, with an ability to create mobile extensions of itself.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Oh, come along, reader of the High Journal; if you do not love [[words]], how will you [[love]] the [[communication]]?''' How will you forgive me my tropes, communicate the love?
** Epigraph (of &quot;Epiktistes&quot;)

* Gaetan had always had a terrible finality about him. Was this his great sin — that he was already [[completed]]? I will intercede for him tonight in my own not entirely mechanical way. '''To be completed is to be finished in so many ways!''' May that twinkling man Gaetan be undone a little and saved.
** Ch. 6

* '''[[True]] [[love]] is that we should hate whatever interferes with our [[vision]] of the high and the lowly.'''
** Ch. 6

* &quot;Oh, I cannot abide these complacent clods,&quot; I exclaim. &quot;I cannot relate to these opulent oafs who are [[laughing]] in the streets. They are not high enough or low enough. For my love I must find the poor, the deprived, the fornicators, the addicts, the drunkards, the unwashed, ...&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Oh, these are the poor,&quot; the clod told me. &quot;This is the poorest street in town, Index Y-Z. It's hard to tell them apart now except that the poor spend more ostentatiously than the rich do.&quot;
** Ch. 6

===''The Devil is Dead'' (1971)===
[[File:Bad day - nice Halloween.jpg|thumb|Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.]]

* '''Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.'''
** Prologue

* Carr states that the characters of the [[w:Brynhildr|Brunhilde]] are not true archetypes. Why, then they are false archetypes, and these also have their being. Kidd believes that X himself is in the process of becoming the Third Evil to fill the void left by the insufficiency of Papadiabolous and Seaworthy in the roles of devils. But Kidd is [[James Joyce|Joycean]]. To complicate matters, Lafferty swears that  [[w:Finnegans Wake|Finnegan]] is in no way Joycean, that he is nine hundred years earlier, out of the Yellow Book of Lecan (the ''Tain Bo Cuailinge''), a character out of the ''Tain''. This presupposes that Finnegan is identical with [[w:Fionn mac Cumhaill|Fion McCool]] as well as with the more derivative Fingal, and also with [[w:Cúchulainn|Cu Chulainn]]. '''Well, Finnegan is capable of being all.''' To those interested in this line I recommend ''Thurneysen’s Die Irische Helden- und Konigsage''.
** Interglossia

* '''When you can't depend on the [[Devil]], who can you depend on?'''
** Ch. 5

* '''Brannagan had been to more places than Finnegan had, including the same places.''' He had not only skirted the d'Entre-Casteau Islands, he had walked all over them. He had not only sailed through China Straits, he had dived in them for old wrecks. He had not only climbed the Cloudy Mountains, but had panned [[gold]] in their streams and dips.
** Ch. 13

=== ''Archipelago'' (1979) ===
[[File: Miranda - Frederick Goodall.jpg|thumb|A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.]]

* &quot;The perfect ghost story is the story of Possession,&quot; he said, &quot;and that is hypnotism from beyond the grave. This is possible since hypnotism is by the will, and the will is immortal. A number of notable men have been possessed, and all of their lives seem to fit a pattern: the inconsequential early years, the hiatus when they stood where [[w:Faust|Faust]] stood, and the decision. And then the rise to power and influence and almost universal honor after they have made the deal. But it is not themselves, it is the devils within them that gain these things. '''They are the possessed men who do much of the running of the world, and theirs is the most frightening story that can be imagined. But those who watch the great men do not know that they are shells inhabited by ghosts.'''&quot;
** Chapter Three, Pt. 5, A &quot;ghost story&quot; as narrated in its entirety by a character in the novel in a small ward gathering.

* '''A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.''' If Finnegan and Dotty had been able to generate a crisis with thunder and [[lightning]], things might have been different. But what if the last anchor-cable parts when no one knows it, and the drift has already begun? This is the crisis come and gone.
** Chapter Four, Pt. 6

== Quotations about Lafferty ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rainbow Leprechaun.png|thumb|The prize here is the [[key]] to the [[Kingdom of God|kingdom]], and the show is pretty [[funny]]. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's [[humor]] — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a [[laugh]]. ~ Brian Cholfin]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His [[stories]]… are without precedent... ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]] 
[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|Just about everything Lafferty writes is [[fun]], is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with [[myth]], and of both with something more … ~ [[w:Gene Wolfe|Gene Wolfe]] ]]
[[File:Electricsheep-14792.jpg|thumb|Lafferty has the [[power]] which sets [[fire]] behind your eyeballs. There is warmth, illumination, and a certain [[joy]] attendant upon the [[experience]]. He's [[good]]. ~ [[Roger Zelazny]] ]]

* R .A. Lafferty has always been uniquely his own man, but in this book he surpasses himself. '''It is [[wild]], subtle, demonic, [[angelic]], [[hilarious]], tragic, [[poetic]], a [[thundering]] melodrama and a quest into the depths of the human [[spirit]]. '''You'll think about it for a long time and probably go back to it more than once.
** [[w:Poul Anderson|Poul Anderson]] on ''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)

* '''For me, reading Lafferty was like looking into [[George Chapman|Chapman]]’s [[Homer]].''' He interested me in SF again, after I had outgrown my early love for [[Clifford D. Simak|Simak]] and [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] and [[Robert A. Heinlein|Heinlein]]. '''What a word slinger: what a richness of [[idea]] and [[image]], in Irish-cadenced prose!''' Lafferty wrote the opposite of the post-[[Anton Chekhov|Chekhovian]] modern short story. Show don’t tell? The [[pleasure]] is in the telling. &lt;br /&gt;'''[[Rhetoric]], in the [[grand]] old manner, was at the center of his [[game]]. He could go from high-faluting to just plain faluting, and back again, all in a paragraph.''' Like [[Charles Mingus]], another American original, Lafferty loved the sounds he made; never satisfied with mere profundity, he was pretty, too. He was our Mingus, I think, elevating us all. And his stories always had a [[humanist]] agenda, though I understand he was a political [[conservative]]. … I believe his day is yet to come; that like [[Herman Melville|Melville]], Lafferty will be &quot;discovered,&quot; and his ''Okla Hannali'' will take its rightful place as one of the three or four truly great 20th century American novels.
** [[w:Terry Bisson|Terry Bisson]], in [http://www.terrybisson.com/page24/page24.html &quot;R.A. LAFFERTY (1914 - 2002)&quot;, a eulogy in ''LOCUS'' magazine]

* '''Characters in Lafferty stories don't act or speak as normal folks do. Impossible things happen routinely.''' Indeed, the whole philosophical works are staged like a two-bit vaudeville act, with characters reminiscent of sideshow hucksters and midway card-sharps, promising marvelous prizes with one hand and taking your money with the other, leaving you wondering what the hell this thing is being put into your hands while you're being shuffled out the back door. '''But the prize here is the key to the kingdom, and the show is pretty funny. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's humor — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a laugh.'''
** Brian Cholfin in [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night']

* The history of the [[w:Choctaw|Choctaw]] Indians has been told before and is still being told, but it has never been told in the way Lafferty tells it … Hannali is a buffalo bull of a man who should become one of the enduring characters in the literature of the American Indian.
** [[w:Dee Brown (novelist)|Dee Brown]], quoted in the University of Oklahoma Press edition of ''Okla Hannali''

* '''One of the few writers who have made me laugh aloud.'''
** [[Arthur C. Clarke]]{{source}}

* Lafferty's first full-length work is an event. As with everything the man writes, the wind of imagination blows strongly, with the happy difference that in a novel he can reach full gale-force, '''Lafferty defies categorization; his work is unlike anyone else's.''' This is a great galloping madman of a novel, drenched in sound and color.
** [[Harlan Ellison]] on ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968){{source}}

* '''R. A. Lafferty, who died at 87 on March 18, was undoubtedly the finest writer of whatever it was that he did that ever there was.''' He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His stories… are without precedent...
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in the ''Washington Post, April 4, 2002''

* And I love it as a reader. He &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[w:Robert Aickman|Robert Aickman]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; will bring on atmosphere. He will construct these perfect, dark, doomed little stories, what he called &quot;strange stories.&quot; I find the same with Lafferty. We were talking about Lafferty earlier as somebody who I'd love to read. I am hoping someone will do the complete short stories of R.A. Lafferty. What is interesting is that when you read the early Lafferty, the closer he comes to what one might consider a normal story, the less successful he is … And Lafferty is something played in an Irish bar on an instrument that you're not quite sure what it is and you're humming the tune but you don't remember the words as you walk out.
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in ''The Neil Gaiman Reader'' (2006), p. 185

* It all goes back to [[Neil Gaiman]]. In the foreword to “Fragile Things,” he wrote that his short story “Sunbird” was his way of trying to write his own R.A. Lafferty story. So I found “Nine Hundred Grandmothers,” and it’s like nothing I’ve ever read before. It’s very blue-collar science fiction – all the familiar tropes of people going to outer space and to other planets. '''It’s hilarious, incredibly funny and at the same time it’s insanely dark.''' You get the feeling like it’s a guy just writing to amuse himself: “I don’t care if any of this makes sense, but I want to see weird stuff happen.” One of his stories starts off, “He began by breaking things that morning.” There’s a short story called “Ginny Wrapped in the Sun,” and it’s just about this little girl who’s super strong, running around, picking things up. '''You get such a sense of joy and boundless imagination in every sentence – even if the story doesn’t totally cohere, you feel like it’s about something.''' It’s so incredibly Tulsa. You get that feeling when you see a [[w:Flaming Lips|Flaming Lips]] show. '''It’s not like we’re dark and hurt and twisted. It’s like, &quot;I’ve got blood on my face – come on, y’all, this is awesome.&quot;'''
** [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]], Saturday Night Live comedian, in a review of ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' in [http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/its-so-incredibly-tulsa-bill-haders-book-picks/ &quot;‘It’s So Incredibly Tulsa’: Bill Hader’s Book Picks&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (31 January 2008)]

* '''[In these stories, Lafferty mostly] seems to be writing about places that are not on the map but are real just the same.''' Lafferty was a traveler in his youth, and he may have glimpsed some of these places on the watery horizon; whether he was sober at the time is not the issue right now. … [Lafferty] has a reading knowledge of all the languages of the Latin, German, and Slavic families, as well as Gaelic and Greek. The army sent him to Morotai, New Guinea and the Philippines, and at one time he could speak pretty good Passar Malay and Tagalog. He turned to writing about six years ago, as a substitute for serious drinking. '''The tavernkeepers weep while we rejoice: Lafferty's stories are full of a warm, Bacchic glow, recollected in sobriety — euphoria, comradeship, nostalgia, and the ever-renewed belief that something wonderful may happen.'''
** [[w:Damon Knight|Damon Knight]], in the introduction to ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* The works of R. A. Lafferty (1914-2002) are not too far out be reviewed by an ordinary human being. However, one must reach into an awkwardly positioned dimension to lay hold of them.
** John J. Reilly in a [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm review of ''The Flame is Green'']

* One of the things I loved about collaborating with Nick was that he was like R. A. Lafferty. Remember those old books for science fiction beginners, the ones that said “If you like [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] , read [[w: Hal Clement|Clement]]” or “If you like [[w:Robert Sheckley|Sheckley]], read [[w:William Tenn|Tenn]]”? And then you’d come to “'''If you like Lafferty, buy everything of his you can find before no one writes or thinks remotely like him.'''”
** [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]], [http://novelspot.net/node/3452 &quot;My Gang of 42&quot;]

* [R. A. Lafferty] has to be the maddest, the most colorful, the most unexpected writer alive.
** [[Theodore Sturgeon]], quoted in the first edition of Does Anyone Else Have Something Further to Add?

* '''R. A. Lafferty is unique, in the old, unspoiled sense of the word.''' A genius as wild and joyful, delightful and unpredictable as his comes along but once in a lifetime — this lifetime. Cherish him. '''If there were no Lafferty, we would lack the imagination to invent him.'''
** [[w:Michael Swanwick|Michael Swanwick]], quoted in the first edition of ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* It's an American classic.
** Voice Literary Supplement on ''Okla Hannali''{{fix cite}}

* '''Lafferty deliberately creates the mythic effect through a technique I call effective arcanum''', and that rather than examining his work with the conventional tools of science fiction criticism, we need to examine his system — firstly for our pleasure, and secondly so that we may re-create it (because the sign of an authentic religo-magical system is the power of the followers to reproduce the results).
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''Those individuals looking from within the SF world may lack, or simply disdain, the linguistic and critical skills needed to begin to reveal that in Lafferty's work there is much more going on than meets the eye.''' The brave individuals who have attempted to do so have either merely produced fulsome praise or attempted to classify Lafferty's writings on the basis of superficialities (i.e., calling him a surrealist). '''Lafferty's use of displacement is not unique, but so few writers have consciously attempted the process, and their works are so varied, that there are no unifying articles, no language for the critic with a day job to draw on.''' Some bright lad or lass (with the appropriate dignifying letters following their names) may read this and look for the method of displacement in [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [[James Joyce]], [[w:Robert Pinget|Robert Pinget]], [[w:Gilbert Sorrentino|Gilbert Sorrentino]], [[Brian O'Nolan|Flann O'Brien]], R. A. Lafferty, [[w:Howard Waldrop|Howard Waldrop]], and [[Robert Anton Wilson|R. A. Wilson]]. '''Now there's a book worth reading.''' The astute observer will note that all the names on the list are Irish, saving those which are not.
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''What special [[magic]] does Lafferty offer? The simple answer has always been his use of [[language]].''' Well what of it — the field has many who can make a phrase sing or sing a phrase that's the thing. The true answer lies in that his stories sound like they're folk tales. Now I said something very precise there. Lafferty doesn't use the language of folktales, and only rarely uses their rhythm. But he lives so well within the language of his creation that his language — particularly in the combination of slightly archaic folk speech and outrageous etymologies for his words — sounds like language that some one has said somewhere. Yevgeny Zamyatin developed the concept of a &quot;prose foot&quot; as way of internal pacing of fiction. He saw it as a kind of rhythmic device that by causing the reader to remember an earlier part of the narrative became a force for a choral (as in pertaining to choruses) cohesion that bound the story together in a different way than plot mechanics. This method, which I can't detect in Zamyatin's works (since Russian is Greek to me) is the core of Lafferty's work. '''He has has invented the post-modern equivalent of the [[Homer|Homeric]] epithet.'''
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]]{{source}}

* No true reader who has read as much as a single story by Raphael Aloysius Lafferty needs to be told that '''he is our most original writer. … Just about everything Lafferty writes is fun, is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with myth, and of both with something more ...''' In fact, he may not be just ours, but the most original writer in the history of literature.
** [[Gene Wolfe]], in the introduction to ''Episodes of the Argo'' (1990), later published in ''Castle of Days'' (1995)

* '''Lafferty has the power which sets fire behind your eyeballs.''' There is warmth, illumination, and a certain joy attendant upon the experience. '''He's good.'''
** [[Roger Zelazny]], in a cover blurb for ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/ea.cgi?R._A._Lafferty R. A. Lafferty at the Internet Speculative Fiction Database]
* [https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/25720 R. A. Lafferty at Project Gutenberg]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL R. A. Lafferty Devotional Page]
** [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/MT/links.html Links]
* [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; by Don Webb]
* [http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1413276&amp;lastnode_id=49412 Lafferty at Everything2]
* [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night&quot;- an appreciation of Lafferty by editor Brian Cholfin]
* [http://www.lostbooks.org/guestreviews/2002-06-27-1.html Review of ''The Devil is Dead'']
* [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm Review of ''The Flame is Green'' by John J. Reilly]
* [http://watershade.net/wmcclain/past_master.txt &quot;Past Master&quot;, reviewed by Bill McClain]
* [http://www.prairienet.org/~almahu/hannali.htm Review of &quot;Okla Hannali&quot;]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/obit.html Collection of obituaries]
** [http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue260/cassutt.html An obituary by Cassutt]
* [http://web.archive.org/20011120172337/www.geocities.com/konstiantin/osfw/authors/RAL_sinor_tribute.html &quot;The Cranky Old Man of Tulsa&quot;]
* [http://greatsfandf.com/AUTHORS/RALafferty.php &quot; A Few Words About R. A. Lafferty&quot;]
* [http://www.cordwainer-smith.com/lafferty.htm &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Winner of the 2002 Cordwainer Smith Foundation &quot;Rediscovery&quot; Award]
* [http://antsofgodarequeerfish.blogspot.com/ &quot;The Ants of God Are Queer Fish - An R. A. Lafferty Blog&quot;]

'''Works available online'''
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty3/lafferty31.html Narrow Valley]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty5/lafferty51.html Slow Tuesday Night]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty/lafferty1.html Nine Hundred Grandmothers]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty4/lafferty41.html The Transcendent Tigers]
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/23161 Sodom and Gomorrah, Texas]

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      <text bytes="56586" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Lafferty2.jpg|333px|thumb|I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively [[complex]], and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche [[ideas]] will have this trouble.]]
'''[[w:R. A. Lafferty|Raphael Aloysius Lafferty]]''' ([[7 November]] [[1914]] – [[18 March]] [[2002]]) was an [[American]] science fiction and fantasy writer, famous for his humorous use of [[metaphor]], narrative structure, and [[language]] in his very peculiar forms of etymological wit.

== Quotes ==
[[File: Cernunnos - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;]]
[[File: Electricsheep-3052.jpg|thumb|To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.]]
[[File: Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.]]
[[File: RegenbogenDSCN0352.JPG|thumb|The [[good]] [[stories]], of course, write themselves...]]

* &quot;Tell me the [[truth]], girl: how does the man next door ship out trailer-loads of material from a building ten times too small to hold the stuff?&quot; '''&quot;He cuts prices.&quot;'''
** &quot;In Our Block&quot; (1965); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;'''
**&quot;[http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/hole.html The Hole in the Corner]&quot; (1967); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.''' Renew the [[face]] of the [[earth]]. It is a loved face, but now it is covered with the webs of tired spiders.
** Judy's letter to the dispersed members of the Church of Omaha, in &quot;And Walk Now Gently Through the Fire&quot; (1972)

* '''When very young, Hannali would sit on the black ground and [[Laughter|chuckle]] till it was feared he would injure himself. Whatever came over him, prenatal witticism or ancestral joke, he seldom was able to hold his glee.''' In all his life he never learned to hold it in. 
** ''Okla Hannali'' (1972)

* '''I write as clearly as I am able to. I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively complex, and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche ideas will have this trouble.'''
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* Though my short stories are the more readable, my novels do have more to say; and they will, if anyone has the patience for it, repay a rereading.
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* For, without cruelty, only a limited success is ever possible in opera.
** ''Selenium Ghosts of the Eighteen Seventies'' (1978), in [[w:Terry Carr|Terry Carr (ed.)]], ''[[w:Terry Carr|The Year's Finest Fantasy: Volume 2]],'' p. 233 (originally published in ''[[w:Universe 8|Universe 8]])''

* '''Science Fiction has long been babbling about cosmic destructions and the ending of either physical or civilized [[worlds]], but it has all been displaced babble.''' SF has been carrying on about near-future or far-future destructions and its mind-set will not allow it to realize that the destruction of our world has already happened in the quite recent past, that today is &quot;The Day After The World Ended&quot;. … '''I am speaking literally about a real happening, the end of the world in which we lived till fairly recent years.''' The destruction or unstructuring of that world, which is still sometimes referred to as &quot;Western Civilization&quot; or &quot;Modern Civilization&quot;, happened suddenly, some time in the half century between 1912 and 1962. That world, which was &quot;The World&quot; for a few centuries, is gone. '''Though it ended quite recently, the amnesia concerning its ending is general.''' Several historiographers have given the opinion that these amnesias are features common to all &quot;ends of worlds&quot;. Nobody now remembers our late world very clearly, and nobody will ever remember it clearly in the natural order of things. '''It can't be recollected because recollection is one of the things it took with it when it went...'''
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''In its flexibility and in its wide-open opportunities, this is the total [[Utopia]].''' Anything that you can conceive of, you can do in this non-world. Nothing can stop you except a total bankruptcy of [[creativity]]. The seedbed is waiting. '''All the circumstances stand ready. The fructifying minerals are literally jumping out of the ground. And [[nothing]] grows.''' And nothing grows. And nothing grows. Well, why doesn't it?
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem.''' For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him.
** &quot;Golden Gate&quot; in ''Golden Gate and Other Stories'' (1982)

* I don't think I should be getting more attention from mainstream book reviewers. I've never written any mainstream books, and I'm always surprised when the mainstreamers notice me at all.
** As quoted in [http://www.sanduskyregister.com/story/201501160010 &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991); here in the ''Sandusky Register'' (16 January 2015)]

* I don't regard myself as a [[Surrealist]] in the sense of the &quot;[[w:Surrealist Manifesto|Surrealist Manifesto]]&quot; published by [[Andre Breton]] in 1924. To me, that Manifesto is somewhat dated, being a recoil from [[World War I]], and being too heavily [[Freudian]]. '''My own unconscious is more [[Jungian]] than Freudian.''' But if Breton hadn't staked claim to the [[name]], I would probably call myself a Surrealist in the &quot;Remembrance of Things Within&quot; sense, but not in the &quot;world of dream and fantasy joined to the everyday rational world, becoming 'an absolute reality, a surreality'.&quot; '''I suppose that I believe in another sort of a surreality or super-reality, but it would have to be on a wider basis than the encounters of myself and me.''' As often as not, it is the subconscious that supplies the rational element, and the exterior world that supplies the dream and fantasy feeling.
** As quoted in &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991)

* '''The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.'''
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''The [[good]] stories, of course, write themselves.''' And somebody wants to know who are the really good writers, and how many of them there are. There aren't any. Most of the writers are likeable frauds. Some are unlikable frauds.
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* Mr. Lafferty says, &quot;'''I'm the fellow who, for more than a quarter century, has faithfully maintained the thesis that all writers should be funny-looking and all stories should be [[funny]]. Almost all of the [[evil]] in the [[world]] is brought about by handsome writers doing pompous pieces.''' But sometimes readers tell me that such a story of mine is not funny at all. 'Wait, wait,' I tell them. 'You're holding it upside-down. Now try it.' And sure enough it is funny if they get ahold of it right. This caution is especially applicable to the story 'Junkyard Thoughts.' Be sure you're not holding it upside-down or it will be merely bewildering.&quot;
** Introduction to 'Junkyard Thoughts' in ''Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine'' (February 1986)

=== ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968) ===
[[File: The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own [[mind]].]]

* '''Paul, there is something very slack about a future that will take a biting satire for a vapid dream.'''
** The character of [[Thomas More]] on the future reception of his ''[[w:Utopia (book)|Utopia]]'', in Ch. 2

* '''The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own mind.'''
** Ch. 7

* Now then, I have given you a short fair hearing as the law requires. I do not solicit the support of your party, though, in all honesty, if it had more than one member I might.
** Ch. 9

===''Space Chantey'' (1968)===
[[File:Arco iris circular.JPG|thumb|This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]] … The [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct.]]
:&lt;small&gt;A comedic space-fantasy based upon the ''[[w:Odyssey|Odyssey]]'' of [[Homer]] and other tales of mythology and folklore. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Walhall by Emil Doepler.jpg|thumb|There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].]]
[[File:Henry De Groux001.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow [[thought]] say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.]]
[[File:MAN Atlante fronte 1040572.JPG|thumb|By my attention I hold it [[all]] in being. [[Nothing]] exists unless it is perceived.]]
[[File:Icon Greek mythology Odysseus mast.jpg|thumb| And finally a [[great]] savior broke the charm…]]
[[File:Villa Romana de La Olmeda Mosaicos romanos 001 Ulises.jpg|thumb|I am a [[great]] one for winning [[justice]] for the lowly, and I do not [[scare]] easily.]]
[[File:Sheep's face, Malta.jpg|thumb|My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you [[people]] of eating men.]]
[[File:Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus.jpg|thumb|I resent your calling this a silly [[myth]]. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck Tilla Durieux als Circe.jpg|thumb|I am mistress of [[all]] the [[sciences]]. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called [[magic]].]]
[[File:Dosso Dossi 003.jpg|thumb| The [[witch]] has been playing a semantic [[trick]] on us.]]
[[File:Pretty Little Liars.jpg|thumb|Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.]]
[[File:William Bouguereau - Dante and Virgile - Google Art Project 2.jpg|thumb|If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the [[wrong]] place.]]
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 063.jpg|thumb|You show signs of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.]]
[[File:Ulysse dans l'Ile de Calypso.JPG|thumb| [[Peace]] be not the [[end]] of my epic!]]
[[File:Nicolae Vermont - Visul lui Ulise.jpg|thumb| Make no [[mistake]], this only seems &lt;br&gt; the [[end]] of it.]]

* &lt;p&gt;'''''Lend ear while things incredible we bring about &lt;br&gt; And Spacemen [[dead]] and [[deathless]] yet we [[sing]] about''':—''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'' And some were weak and wan, and some were [[strong]] enough,'' &lt;br&gt; ''And some got [[home]], but damn it took them long enough!''&lt;/p&gt;
** Ch. 1

* '''This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]]. The ship logs could not tell it rightly nor could any flatfooted prose. And the [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct. They could only be sung by a bard gone blind from viewing [[suns]] that were suns.'''
** Ch. 1

* '''The [[war]] was finished.''' It had lasted ten equivalent years and taken ten million lives. Thus it was neither of long duration nor of serious attrition. It hadn't any great significance; it was not intended to have. '''It did not prove a point, since all points had long ago been proven. What it did, perhaps, was to emphasize an aspect, sharpen a concept, underline a trend.''' &lt;br&gt; On the whole it was a successful operation. Economically and ecologically it was of healthy effect, and who should grumble? &lt;br&gt; And after wars, men go home. No, no, men start for home. '''It's not the same.'''
** Ch. 1

* These men were the salt of the [[skies]], the one out of ten who had determinedly stayed alive through the whole war, very often hurt, absolutely refusing to be killed.
** Ch. 1

* '''When we travel we find how greatly our boyhood [[dreams]] are outstripped by [[reality]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum, about the planet [[w:Lotus-eaters|Lotophage]], Ch. 1

* I do not [[understand]] your [[custom]] in this, but we do not intend to [[fight]] until [[all]] of us are dead. '''We desire very much that none of us be dead. And we will fight till all of you are dead only if it is absolutely [[necessary]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum to Bjorn, on planet [[w:Valhalla|Valhal]], also known as [[w:Laestrygonians|Lamos]], in Ch. 2

* '''There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].'''
** Bjorn to Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow thought say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.''' There is the forgetfulness and the loss of [[identity]]. The [[spirit]], even as the body, is unstrung and burst and scattered. '''One goes down to death, and it leaves a mark on one forever.'''
** On death and the nightly resurrection of the slain on Valhal, Ch. 2

* '''I've had enough of this place where they stuff you full of bull and then hunt you down and [[kill]] you every day.'''
** Crewman Humphrey on Valhal, Ch. 2

* There are [[skies]] we have not seen yet! There are whole realms still unvisited by us. '''We will not be penned in even a giant's pen. We fly!'''
** Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''I will never tell anyone how much [[fun]] it is in this place.'''
** Oath by Captain Roadstrum not to tell how much fun Valhal is, written in [[blood]] from the roots of his torn-out tongue, Ch. 2

* The ''Dong'' button was just that, a big green button with the word ''Dong'' engraved on it. You pushed it, and it went ''dong''. Well, that was almost too simple. Should there not be a deeper reason for it? And the small instruction plate over it didn’t add much. It read: “'''Wrong prong, bong gong.'''”
** Description of a '''''Dong''''' button, which is later revealed to reverse the flow of time for the wielder, if there has been a dire error made which needs correcting, Ch. 3
&lt;!-- * ''A thing unseen is on its face unseeable; &lt;br&gt; a being, savored not nor heard, unbe-able; &lt;p&gt; and be assured there's naught at all outside of us &lt;br&gt; unless perceived by one or by a pride of us, &lt;p&gt; nor someone see it move it will not move at all, and damn! he had a husky guy to prove it all!''
** Ch. 3 --&gt;

* They were down on Kentron-Kosmon, an insignificant world. And yet, in the middle of Space-Port there (a cow pasture rather; it wasn't much of a spaceport) there was a nice plaque of electrum and on it was lettered: '''''This is the [[w:Omphalos|Exact Center]] of the [[Universe]].'''''
** Ch. 4

* '''''I'm the guy who keeps it all going. If I weren't here, you wouldn't be here either.''' I know it all, I'm a smart-aleck. Loan-sharking and fencing. Any time I can't see you, you've had it.''
** Sign on the booth of &quot;the big fellow&quot; of Kentron-Kosmon, [[w:Atlas (mythology)|Atlas]], in Ch. 3

* It isn't my profundity that makes me a mental marvel, it's the amazing detail of my perception. There's nobody else who can keep so many things on his mind at once. 
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* As regards very small celestial bodies of a light-minded nature, '''the law of levity is allowed to supersede the law of gravity.'''
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* '''I tried to tell you, but words will not convey it. One has to be inside it to comprehend the magnitude.''' … It ''was'' the beginning. It's the only thing there is. But it was haphazard for so many aeons that it spooks me to think about it. There were always three or four maintaining it, but there was no one person strong enough to take it all over. &quot;Somewhere there must be someone strong enough to take it all over,&quot; I said to myself in a direful moment, but the strongest person I could think of was myself. I've been doing it ever since. … '''By my attention I hold it all in being. Nothing exists unless it is perceived.''' If perception fails for a moment, then that thing fails forever. … I hate to be misjudged. They say that I bear it all on my shoulders, as though I were a stud or a balk. '''It's not on my great shoulders, it is amazing head on my great shoulders that maintains all.'''
** Atlas, on bearing the burden of maintaining the worlds, in Ch. 4

* '''An excess of science will leave none of us alive.'''
**Roadstrum to Puckett, on using crew members to test the lethality of the [[w:Siren|Siren-Zo]], in Ch. 4

* &quot;'Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday,' so the poor slaves had to sing in their labor for the [[w:Púca|puca]]. '''And finally a great savior broke the charm.''' 'And Wednesday too' he said, and then it was all over with.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Roadstrum is the great savior who breaks the charm,&quot; Roadstrum announced. &quot;'''I will set a Wednesday-term to the monster.''' But there are other elements in this…&quot;
** On confronting the Siren-Zo of Sireneca, in Ch. 4

* '''Roadstrum had a way of putting it on a little thick himself.''' &lt;br&gt; &quot;Be there a man among you who doubts my [[w:Demesne|demesne]] or destiny, then I have fared in vain,&quot; he said. &quot;I bare my throat to the treacherous steel —&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;All right, all right,&quot; the three tough crewmen capitulated. We're with you all the way and in everything. Only spare us the 'act.'&quot;
** Roadstrum confronting a potential mutiny, in Ch. 5

* '''Roadstrum had always believed that he had troubles enough of his own. He seldom borrowed trouble, and never on usurious terms.''' He knew that it was a solid thing that sheep do not gather in taverns and drink beer, not even potato beer; that they do not sing, not even badly; that they do not tell stories. But a stranger can easily make trouble for himself on a strange world by challenging local customs. &lt;br&gt; &quot;But I am the greet Roadstrum,&quot; he said, suddenly and loudly. &quot;'''I am a great one for winning justice for the lowly, and I do not scare easily.''' I threw the great Atlas at the wrestle, and who else can say as much? I suffer from the heroic sickness every third day about nightfall, and I am not sure whether this is the third day or not. '''I say you are men and not sheep. I say: Arise and be men indeed!'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;It has been tried before,&quot; said Roadstrum's friend, the sheep, &quot;and it didn't work.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;You have tried a revolt, and it failed?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No, no, '''another man tried to incite us to revolt, and failed.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5, on Polyphemia

* &quot;Strangers may not lodge complaints till they have been in residence here for ninety days,&quot; the [[w:Cacique|Cacique]] said, &quot;and no stranger has ever remained with us that long.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you people of eating men.'''&quot; 
** Ch. 5

* &quot;'''Here there are warlocks and [[w:Mandragora (demon)|mandragoras]] and witches''',&quot; the navigation data log issued. &lt;br&gt; &quot;When your machines start to go [[wikt:droll|droll]] on you you're in trouble,&quot; Roadstrum growled. &quot;I can get wise answers from my men. I don't need a machine for that.&quot;
** Ch. 6, on approaching the world of [[w:Aeaea|Aeaea]]

* 'We are strangers, lost and bemused,&quot; Roadstrum said to the lady. &quot;We have landed here by accident. We are looking for a lady who was singing, the lady who (according to silly myth) is identical with the planet and who sang the planet into being.&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''I am [[w:Circe|Aeaea]].''' To my notion there is no other lady anywhere. And '''I resent your calling this a silly myth. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.''' Well, come along, come along! You are my things now, and you will come when I call you.
** Ch. 6

* &quot;'''I am mistress of all the sciences. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called magic.''' I manipulate [[w: Noumenon|noumena]], regarding [[w:Monad (Greek philosophy)|monads]] as points of entry tangential to [[w: Hylomorphism|hylomorphism]]. As to the paradox of [[w:Essentialism|Primary Essence]] being contained in [[w:Quiddity|Quiddity]], the larger in the smaller, I have my own solution. The difficulty is always in not confusing [[w:Contingency (philosophy)|Contingency]] with [[w:Inflection|Accidence]]. '''Do you understand me?'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Sure. '''You're a witch.'''&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''Do you not know that the underground lands are shared by many [[worlds]]?''' It is all one underground, a vast place, and it is but a trick on which globe one will surface on coming out. '''This is the reason that the inside of every world is so much vaster than the outside.''' You are fooled by the shape of these little balls on which things live and crawl; you see the universe inside out; you see the orbs as containing and not contained. I will teach you to see it right if you please me. 
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I am the consummate scientist, Road-Storm. Science has suffered in having her name applied to mechanics, an ugly step-child of hers.''' Matter herself is a humiliation to the serious. We cannot make it vanish forever, but can make it seem to. For my purpose that is even better. '''All matter can be modified as long as it is kept subjective. Let us keep it so.''' … Those who fail to understand my science may call it magic or hypnotism or deception. But it is only my projection of total subjectivity.
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I'll break the spell or the science of her singing yet. As the only man left it devolves on me to do it.'''
** Roadstrum, not realizing he has become a small ape, in Ch. 6

* Something was working in Roadstrum's little ape head. '''When he had been a man he had always known when it was time for action; particularly he had always known the last [[moment]] when [[action]] was still [[possible]]. He knew now that that moment was come very near.''' … Then a blinding light burst upon Roadstrum, and he saw the truth of the situation. Many things Roadstrum was not, and it was sometimes wondered why he was the natural leader of all the men. '''He was their leader because he was a man on whom the blinding light sometimes descended.'''
** Ch. 6

* '''The witch has been playing a semantic trick on us.''' We were already pretty salty animals when we came here! It is toy animals she has turned us into. We have been working against ourselves, trying to be men again, but to be her idea of men, since we live in her context. But she does not know real animals, or men. … '''Be you not toys any longer! Stir up the wild business in you. You have to be real animals before you can be men.'''
** Ch. 6

* It was the most exclusive club in the world, in all the worlds, and this is a mighty pale statement to make about it. '''Let us emphasize that it was hard to get into.'''
** On &quot;The Club&quot; AKA the High Liar's Club, Ch. 7

* &quot;This is the Improbable Club,&quot; said the President-Emeritus in a heavy muffled voice, &quot;and you things have made an improbable entry. Many unqualified persons have attempted to crash this Club, but you have done it literally. Whether you will be able to qualify for our high membership is another thing. It will not matter. We accept, for a brief moment at least, all who come here as members. '''We will quickly measure you one way or another. We have no living ex-members.''' Sit you down, all, and unwind your ears. Remember, each topper must be topped.&quot;
** Ch. 7

* '''Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.'''
** Ch. 7

* &quot;For one [[crime]] there is no asylum even in the Club,&quot; whispered Horace the Snake, who had sharp ears for whispering. &quot;'''For all other crimes we give asylum, for the most heinous crime in the universe we give no asylum.'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;What is the most heinous crime in the universe?&quot; Roadstrum asked. &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Killing a songbird.'''&quot;
** Ch. 7

*&lt;p&gt;'''''The place itself, and ne'er a good word spoke of it, &lt;br&gt; You shiver when you even make a joke of it.'''''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though some go cocky, gaily in hand-basket there, &lt;br&gt; The most fare sadly in a clammy casket there…''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Undying pain and gaping loss, no doubt of it. &lt;br&gt; A wide way leading in and no way out of it!''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''But none have told the blackest horror shrouded there — &lt;br&gt; Tall teeming terror‚ but it sure is crowded there.''&lt;/p&gt;
** On Hellpepper Planet, Ch. 7

* '''If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the wrong place.'''
** A lieutenant of [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* '''You show [[sign]]s of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.''' If you are not serious now, by hell you'll get serious pretty quick!
** [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* This petty place cannot be [[Hell]], Roadstrum? Ah, but it is my friend. '''That, you see, is the hell of it.'''
** Tiresias, Ch. 7

* Man-a-bleeding, but they broke out of that place! '''You say it can't be done, but they did it. Their expectations had been too high, and no second-rate Hell could hold them.''' &lt;br&gt; In a way it was their greatest feat. No one else had ever broken out of there before.
** Ch. 7

* &quot;I'm doing pretty good. I'm a seminal [[genius]], they say, and I have the most sophisticated tools ever devised to work with. And I do build some good things for them. I'm quite successful. I'll tell you something, though. In the daytime, with all those sophisticated tools, and particularly if someone's watching me, I just stall around. But at night — &quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Ah, at night! What do you do then, Hondstarfer?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Put away those damned sophisticated tools and get my stone hammers. That's when I build the good stuff.''' Don't give me away, though, Roadstrum.
** Ch. 8, Hondstarfer of Valhal, speaking of his work as a design engineer.

* '''The [[eye]] in his [[hand]] winked at him dourly. Eye was a tough old gump, not given to easy enthusiasms.''' Roadstrum put it back in his pocket and once more contemplated his good fortune.
** Comments on Roadstrum speaking to the pickled eye he carries in his pocket, in Ch. 8

* '''I will be double-damned to a better Hell than Hellpepper Planet if I will have my ending here in peace! Peace be not the end of my epic!''' An epic is already failed if it have an ending. '''I don't care how it ended the first time — it will not end the same now!'''
** Roadstrum, in Ch. 8

*&lt;p&gt;''His soaring vaunt escaped the blooming ears of us, &lt;br&gt; He's gone, he's dead, he's dirt, he disappears from us! ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; ''Be this the [[death]] of highest thrust of [[human]] [[all]]? &lt;br&gt; The flaming end of bright and shining crewmen all?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Destroyed? His road is run? It's but a bend of it;'' &lt;br&gt; '''''Make no [[mistake]], this only seems'''''&lt;/p&gt;
:::: '''''the [[end]] of it.'''''
:* Ch. 8

=== ''The Reefs of Earth'' (1968) ===
* ‎Sometimes traveling people will be talking together. They will say how good it is in some places and how bad it is in others. And, sooner or later, one of them is bound to mention it. &quot;Talk about really being out in the boondocks!&quot; he will say, &quot;there's a little planet named [[Earth]] —&quot;

* It was their way of defying that tricky place Earth. That place will hurt you if you let it get the hop on you. They spooked the Earth spooks away with their stories. They whistled in the dark.

* &quot;Pirates are perhaps the greatest invention of Earth people,&quot; Elizabeth interrupted loftily, &quot;and their pirate stories are wonderful entertainment for small children. We have to give Earth people credit for that, they invented pirates.&quot;

===''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)===
[[File: Glory, spectre.jpg|thumb|It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.]]

* &quot;There was a later time when [[sincere]] men tried to build an organization as wide as the [[world]] to secure the [[peace]] of the world. It had been tried before and it had failed before. Perhaps if it failed this time it would not be tried again for a very long while. '''The [[idea]] of the thing was attacked by good and bad men, in good faith and bad.''' The final realization of it was so close that it could be touched with the fingertips. A gambler wouldn't have given odds on it either way. It teetered, and it almost seemed as though it would succeed. Then members of that group interfered.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;And it failed, O'Claire?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No. It [[succeeded]], Foley, as in the other case. '''It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.'''&quot;
** Ch. 4

* &quot;A newspaper man has got to know when to keep his mouth and his mind shut. You might end up dead.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Isn't that the usual fate of men, Harry?&quot;
** Ch. 8

===''The Flame is Green'' (1971)===
[[File:Cloud-top green flash, San Francisco, California - 2006.jpg|thumb|Do not be [[deceived]] by the way [[men]] of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]...]]
[[File: Square1.jpg|thumb|Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive.]]
[[File: Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]. They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen.]]
[[File: Fogbow glory spectre bridge.JPG |thumb|A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it [[grows]] out in spans towards the further one.]]
[[File: Internet map 1024.jpg|thumb|In this [[growing]] there are no really new things or new situation. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.]]
[[File: Plasma lamp touching.jpg|thumb|Whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a [[devil]]...]]

* “'''The world is a garden''',” the old man said. “It is a farm, a plantation, a sheep-ranch. In the garden are the cities also; they too are a great part of the planting. '''Believe me, all these plantations are sowed with good seed. But the Enemy from the Beginning also sows the red blight''': these are the charlocks, the tares, called ''zizania'' in the Vulgate. Do not be fooled as to what it is and who sowed it. Do not be fooled in the factory or the arsenal, in the ship-yard or the shop; do not be fooled on the bleak farms or in the crowded city, in the club or in the workers’ hall or in the drawing room. The wrong thing that is sowed is the red weed, the red blight. And the Enemy has done this. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Or '''let us say that we have a green thing growing forever. Everything that is done is done by it. And on it we also have the red parasite crunching forever: and everything that is undone is undone by that.''' The parasite will present itself as a modern thing. It will call itself the Great Change. Less often, and warily, it will call itself the Great Renewal. But it can never be another thing than the Red Failure returned. It is a disease, it is a scarlet fever, a typhoid, a diphtheria; it is the Africa disease, it is the red leprosy, it is the crab-cancer. It is the death of the individual and of the corporate soul. And incidentally, but very often, it is also the death of the individual and of the corporate body. '''We are asked to swear fealty to the parasite disease which the [[enemy]] sowed from the beginning. I will not do it, and I [[hope]] that you will not.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;'''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]''',&quot; the Black Pope was saying, and now his head was quite powdered with snow. &quot;It used to be only the [[English]] who excelled in the deception of words. Then the [[French]] went even beyond them, and [[now]] the whole [[world]] is adept at it.&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]'''; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. '''Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].'''
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;There are only two possible statements that can be made about the [[worlds]],&quot; the Black Pope of the Carlist Hills had lectured one day. &quot;Alpha: There is a [[God]]. Omega: there is not a God. To adhere to either of these two statements strongly is to be [[logical]] at least. Not to do so is to be in the snivelling wasteland between and to have no point of contact with logic or [[reason]].&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Beware of those who manufacture final answers as they go along, of those who will catch you on their catch-phrases and let you perish in the traps. ''[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]''.''' They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen. They may be too bright for us, they may be too clear for us. Well then, we must clarify our own [[eyes]]. '''Our task is to [[grow]] out until we reach them.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''We ourselves become the bridges out over the interval that is the world and [[time]].''' It is a [[daring]] thing to fling ourselves out over that void that is black and scarlet below and green and gold above. '''A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it grows out in spans towards the further one.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''In this growing there are no really new things or new situations. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.''' There is [[nothing]] new about railways or foundries or lathes or steel furnaces. They also are green-growing things. There is nothing new about organizations of men or of [[money]]. '''All these growing things are good, if they grow towards the final answers that were given in the beginning.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''The devils stroll the earth again and infect with the red sickness. They must, at all cost to themselves, destroy the [[growing]] tendrils before such can [[touch]] the other side. For, whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a devil.''' It is a thing to be [[tested]]. Notice it that whenever there is the special shrilling, when there is the wild flinging out of catchwords to catch you in, when there are the weird exceptions and inclusions, when there are specious arguments and the murderous defamations, when all the volubility of the voltairians and the cuteness of the queers has been assembled to confound you, then one green growth has almost reached across to the other side, one devil is in danger of extinction. Oh, they will defend against that!
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* Listen now to a series of sayings that always come hard to brave people. '''Our own [[great]] movement will grow with its own impetus wherever it is not blighted.''' We will break up persons of blight and centers of blight. '''But often, and this will be the hard part for all of you to understand, we will warn and advise before we [[kill]]. And quite often we will not kill at all. Try to [[understand]] this.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

=== ''Arrive at Easterwine'' (1971) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''Arrive at Easterwine : The Autobiography of a Ktistec Machine'' — The narrator of this story is a &quot;Epiktistes&quot; conscious machine about the size of a building, with an ability to create mobile extensions of itself.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Oh, come along, reader of the High Journal; if you do not love [[words]], how will you [[love]] the [[communication]]?''' How will you forgive me my tropes, communicate the love?
** Epigraph (of &quot;Epiktistes&quot;)

* Gaetan had always had a terrible finality about him. Was this his great sin — that he was already [[completed]]? I will intercede for him tonight in my own not entirely mechanical way. '''To be completed is to be finished in so many ways!''' May that twinkling man Gaetan be undone a little and saved.
** Ch. 6

* '''[[True]] [[love]] is that we should hate whatever interferes with our [[vision]] of the high and the lowly.'''
** Ch. 6

* &quot;Oh, I cannot abide these complacent clods,&quot; I exclaim. &quot;I cannot relate to these opulent oafs who are [[laughing]] in the streets. They are not high enough or low enough. For my love I must find the poor, the deprived, the fornicators, the addicts, the drunkards, the unwashed, ...&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Oh, these are the poor,&quot; the clod told me. &quot;This is the poorest street in town, Index Y-Z. It's hard to tell them apart now except that the poor spend more ostentatiously than the rich do.&quot;
** Ch. 6

===''The Devil is Dead'' (1971)===
[[File:Bad day - nice Halloween.jpg|thumb|Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.]]

* '''Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.'''
** Prologue

* Carr states that the characters of the [[w:Brynhildr|Brunhilde]] are not true archetypes. Why, then they are false archetypes, and these also have their being. Kidd believes that X himself is in the process of becoming the Third Evil to fill the void left by the insufficiency of Papadiabolous and Seaworthy in the roles of devils. But Kidd is [[James Joyce|Joycean]]. To complicate matters, Lafferty swears that  [[w:Finnegans Wake|Finnegan]] is in no way Joycean, that he is nine hundred years earlier, out of the Yellow Book of Lecan (the ''Tain Bo Cuailinge''), a character out of the ''Tain''. This presupposes that Finnegan is identical with [[w:Fionn mac Cumhaill|Fion McCool]] as well as with the more derivative Fingal, and also with [[w:Cúchulainn|Cu Chulainn]]. '''Well, Finnegan is capable of being all.''' To those interested in this line I recommend ''Thurneysen’s Die Irische Helden- und Konigsage''.
** Interglossia

* '''When you can't depend on the [[Devil]], who can you depend on?'''
** Ch. 5

* '''Brannagan had been to more places than Finnegan had, including the same places.''' He had not only skirted the d'Entre-Casteau Islands, he had walked all over them. He had not only sailed through China Straits, he had dived in them for old wrecks. He had not only climbed the Cloudy Mountains, but had panned [[gold]] in their streams and dips.
** Ch. 13

=== ''Archipelago'' (1979) ===
[[File: Miranda - Frederick Goodall.jpg|thumb|A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.]]

* &quot;The perfect ghost story is the story of Possession,&quot; he said, &quot;and that is hypnotism from beyond the grave. This is possible since hypnotism is by the will, and the will is immortal. A number of notable men have been possessed, and all of their lives seem to fit a pattern: the inconsequential early years, the hiatus when they stood where [[w:Faust|Faust]] stood, and the decision. And then the rise to power and influence and almost universal honor after they have made the deal. But it is not themselves, it is the devils within them that gain these things. '''They are the possessed men who do much of the running of the world, and theirs is the most frightening story that can be imagined. But those who watch the great men do not know that they are shells inhabited by ghosts.'''&quot;
** Chapter Three, Pt. 5, A &quot;ghost story&quot; as narrated in its entirety by a character in the novel in a small ward gathering.

* '''A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.''' If Finnegan and Dotty had been able to generate a crisis with thunder and [[lightning]], things might have been different. But what if the last anchor-cable parts when no one knows it, and the drift has already begun? This is the crisis come and gone.
** Chapter Four, Pt. 6

== Quotations about Lafferty ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rainbow Leprechaun.png|thumb|The prize here is the [[key]] to the [[Kingdom of God|kingdom]], and the show is pretty [[funny]]. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's [[humor]] — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a [[laugh]]. ~ Brian Cholfin]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His [[stories]]… are without precedent... ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]] 
[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|Just about everything Lafferty writes is [[fun]], is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with [[myth]], and of both with something more … ~ [[w:Gene Wolfe|Gene Wolfe]] ]]
[[File:Electricsheep-14792.jpg|thumb|Lafferty has the [[power]] which sets [[fire]] behind your eyeballs. There is warmth, illumination, and a certain [[joy]] attendant upon the [[experience]]. He's [[good]]. ~ [[Roger Zelazny]] ]]

* R .A. Lafferty has always been uniquely his own man, but in this book he surpasses himself. '''It is [[wild]], subtle, demonic, [[angelic]], [[hilarious]], tragic, [[poetic]], a [[thundering]] melodrama and a quest into the depths of the human [[spirit]]. '''You'll think about it for a long time and probably go back to it more than once.
** [[w:Poul Anderson|Poul Anderson]] on ''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)

* '''For me, reading Lafferty was like looking into [[George Chapman|Chapman]]’s [[Homer]].''' He interested me in SF again, after I had outgrown my early love for [[Clifford D. Simak|Simak]] and [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] and [[Robert A. Heinlein|Heinlein]]. '''What a word slinger: what a richness of [[idea]] and [[image]], in Irish-cadenced prose!''' Lafferty wrote the opposite of the post-[[Anton Chekhov|Chekhovian]] modern short story. Show don’t tell? The [[pleasure]] is in the telling. &lt;br /&gt;'''[[Rhetoric]], in the [[grand]] old manner, was at the center of his [[game]]. He could go from high-faluting to just plain faluting, and back again, all in a paragraph.''' Like [[Charles Mingus]], another American original, Lafferty loved the sounds he made; never satisfied with mere profundity, he was pretty, too. He was our Mingus, I think, elevating us all. And his stories always had a [[humanist]] agenda, though I understand he was a political [[conservative]]. … I believe his day is yet to come; that like [[Herman Melville|Melville]], Lafferty will be &quot;discovered,&quot; and his ''Okla Hannali'' will take its rightful place as one of the three or four truly great 20th century American novels.
** [[w:Terry Bisson|Terry Bisson]], in [http://www.terrybisson.com/page24/page24.html &quot;R.A. LAFFERTY (1914 - 2002)&quot;, a eulogy in ''LOCUS'' magazine]

* '''Characters in Lafferty stories don't act or speak as normal folks do. Impossible things happen routinely.''' Indeed, the whole philosophical works are staged like a two-bit vaudeville act, with characters reminiscent of sideshow hucksters and midway card-sharps, promising marvelous prizes with one hand and taking your money with the other, leaving you wondering what the hell this thing is being put into your hands while you're being shuffled out the back door. '''But the prize here is the key to the kingdom, and the show is pretty funny. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's humor — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a laugh.'''
** Brian Cholfin in [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night']

* The history of the [[w:Choctaw|Choctaw]] Indians has been told before and is still being told, but it has never been told in the way Lafferty tells it … Hannali is a buffalo bull of a man who should become one of the enduring characters in the literature of the American Indian.
** [[w:Dee Brown (novelist)|Dee Brown]], quoted in the University of Oklahoma Press edition of ''Okla Hannali''

* '''One of the few writers who have made me laugh aloud.'''
** [[Arthur C. Clarke]]{{source}}

* Lafferty's first full-length work is an event. As with everything the man writes, the wind of imagination blows strongly, with the happy difference that in a novel he can reach full gale-force, '''Lafferty defies categorization; his work is unlike anyone else's.''' This is a great galloping madman of a novel, drenched in sound and color.
** [[Harlan Ellison]] on ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968){{source}}

* '''R. A. Lafferty, who died at 87 on March 18, was undoubtedly the finest writer of whatever it was that he did that ever there was.''' He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His stories… are without precedent...
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in the ''Washington Post, April 4, 2002''

* And I love it as a reader. He &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[w:Robert Aickman|Robert Aickman]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; will bring on atmosphere. He will construct these perfect, dark, doomed little stories, what he called &quot;strange stories.&quot; I find the same with Lafferty. We were talking about Lafferty earlier as somebody who I'd love to read. I am hoping someone will do the complete short stories of R.A. Lafferty. What is interesting is that when you read the early Lafferty, the closer he comes to what one might consider a normal story, the less successful he is … And Lafferty is something played in an Irish bar on an instrument that you're not quite sure what it is and you're humming the tune but you don't remember the words as you walk out.
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in ''The Neil Gaiman Reader'' (2006), p. 185

* It all goes back to [[Neil Gaiman]]. In the foreword to “Fragile Things,” he wrote that his short story “Sunbird” was his way of trying to write his own R.A. Lafferty story. So I found “Nine Hundred Grandmothers,” and it’s like nothing I’ve ever read before. It’s very blue-collar science fiction – all the familiar tropes of people going to outer space and to other planets. '''It’s hilarious, incredibly funny and at the same time it’s insanely dark.''' You get the feeling like it’s a guy just writing to amuse himself: “I don’t care if any of this makes sense, but I want to see weird stuff happen.” One of his stories starts off, “He began by breaking things that morning.” There’s a short story called “Ginny Wrapped in the Sun,” and it’s just about this little girl who’s super strong, running around, picking things up. '''You get such a sense of joy and boundless imagination in every sentence – even if the story doesn’t totally cohere, you feel like it’s about something.''' It’s so incredibly Tulsa. You get that feeling when you see a [[w:Flaming Lips|Flaming Lips]] show. '''It’s not like we’re dark and hurt and twisted. It’s like, &quot;I’ve got blood on my face – come on, y’all, this is awesome.&quot;'''
** [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]], Saturday Night Live comedian, in a review of ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' in [http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/its-so-incredibly-tulsa-bill-haders-book-picks/ &quot;‘It’s So Incredibly Tulsa’: Bill Hader’s Book Picks&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (31 January 2008)]

* '''[In these stories, Lafferty mostly] seems to be writing about places that are not on the map but are real just the same.''' Lafferty was a traveler in his youth, and he may have glimpsed some of these places on the watery horizon; whether he was sober at the time is not the issue right now. … [Lafferty] has a reading knowledge of all the languages of the Latin, German, and Slavic families, as well as Gaelic and Greek. The army sent him to Morotai, New Guinea and the Philippines, and at one time he could speak pretty good Passar Malay and Tagalog. He turned to writing about six years ago, as a substitute for serious drinking. '''The tavernkeepers weep while we rejoice: Lafferty's stories are full of a warm, Bacchic glow, recollected in sobriety — euphoria, comradeship, nostalgia, and the ever-renewed belief that something wonderful may happen.'''
** [[w:Damon Knight|Damon Knight]], in the introduction to ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* The works of R. A. Lafferty (1914-2002) are not too far out be reviewed by an ordinary human being. However, one must reach into an awkwardly positioned dimension to lay hold of them.
** John J. Reilly in a [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm review of ''The Flame is Green'']

* One of the things I loved about collaborating with Nick was that he was like R. A. Lafferty. Remember those old books for science fiction beginners, the ones that said “If you like [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] , read [[w: Hal Clement|Clement]]” or “If you like [[w:Robert Sheckley|Sheckley]], read [[w:William Tenn|Tenn]]”? And then you’d come to “'''If you like Lafferty, buy everything of his you can find before no one writes or thinks remotely like him.'''”
** [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]], [http://novelspot.net/node/3452 &quot;My Gang of 42&quot;]

* [R. A. Lafferty] has to be the maddest, the most colorful, the most unexpected writer alive.
** [[Theodore Sturgeon]], quoted in the first edition of Does Anyone Else Have Something Further to Add?

* '''R. A. Lafferty is unique, in the old, unspoiled sense of the word.''' A genius as wild and joyful, delightful and unpredictable as his comes along but once in a lifetime — this lifetime. Cherish him. '''If there were no Lafferty, we would lack the imagination to invent him.'''
** [[w:Michael Swanwick|Michael Swanwick]], quoted in the first edition of ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* It's an American classic.
** Voice Literary Supplement on ''Okla Hannali''{{fix cite}}

* '''Lafferty deliberately creates the mythic effect through a technique I call effective arcanum''', and that rather than examining his work with the conventional tools of science fiction criticism, we need to examine his system — firstly for our pleasure, and secondly so that we may re-create it (because the sign of an authentic religo-magical system is the power of the followers to reproduce the results).
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''Those individuals looking from within the SF world may lack, or simply disdain, the linguistic and critical skills needed to begin to reveal that in Lafferty's work there is much more going on than meets the eye.''' The brave individuals who have attempted to do so have either merely produced fulsome praise or attempted to classify Lafferty's writings on the basis of superficialities (i.e., calling him a surrealist). '''Lafferty's use of displacement is not unique, but so few writers have consciously attempted the process, and their works are so varied, that there are no unifying articles, no language for the critic with a day job to draw on.''' Some bright lad or lass (with the appropriate dignifying letters following their names) may read this and look for the method of displacement in [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [[James Joyce]], [[w:Robert Pinget|Robert Pinget]], [[w:Gilbert Sorrentino|Gilbert Sorrentino]], [[Brian O'Nolan|Flann O'Brien]], R. A. Lafferty, [[w:Howard Waldrop|Howard Waldrop]], and [[Robert Anton Wilson|R. A. Wilson]]. '''Now there's a book worth reading.''' The astute observer will note that all the names on the list are Irish, saving those which are not.
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''What special [[magic]] does Lafferty offer? The simple answer has always been his use of [[language]].''' Well what of it — the field has many who can make a phrase sing or sing a phrase that's the thing. The true answer lies in that his stories sound like they're folk tales. Now I said something very precise there. Lafferty doesn't use the language of folktales, and only rarely uses their rhythm. But he lives so well within the language of his creation that his language — particularly in the combination of slightly archaic folk speech and outrageous etymologies for his words — sounds like language that some one has said somewhere. Yevgeny Zamyatin developed the concept of a &quot;prose foot&quot; as way of internal pacing of fiction. He saw it as a kind of rhythmic device that by causing the reader to remember an earlier part of the narrative became a force for a choral (as in pertaining to choruses) cohesion that bound the story together in a different way than plot mechanics. This method, which I can't detect in Zamyatin's works (since Russian is Greek to me) is the core of Lafferty's work. '''He has has invented the post-modern equivalent of the [[Homer|Homeric]] epithet.'''
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]]{{source}}

* No true reader who has read as much as a single story by Raphael Aloysius Lafferty needs to be told that '''he is our most original writer. … Just about everything Lafferty writes is fun, is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with myth, and of both with something more ...''' In fact, he may not be just ours, but the most original writer in the history of literature.
** [[Gene Wolfe]], in the introduction to ''Episodes of the Argo'' (1990), later published in ''Castle of Days'' (1995)

* '''Lafferty has the power which sets fire behind your eyeballs.''' There is warmth, illumination, and a certain joy attendant upon the experience. '''He's good.'''
** [[Roger Zelazny]], in a cover blurb for ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/ea.cgi?R._A._Lafferty R. A. Lafferty at the Internet Speculative Fiction Database]
* [https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/25720 R. A. Lafferty at Project Gutenberg]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL R. A. Lafferty Devotional Page]
** [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/MT/links.html Links]
* [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; by Don Webb]
* [http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1413276&amp;lastnode_id=49412 Lafferty at Everything2]
* [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night&quot;- an appreciation of Lafferty by editor Brian Cholfin]
* [http://www.lostbooks.org/guestreviews/2002-06-27-1.html Review of ''The Devil is Dead'']
* [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm Review of ''The Flame is Green'' by John J. Reilly]
* [http://watershade.net/wmcclain/past_master.txt &quot;Past Master&quot;, reviewed by Bill McClain]
* [http://www.prairienet.org/~almahu/hannali.htm Review of &quot;Okla Hannali&quot;]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/obit.html Collection of obituaries]
** [http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue260/cassutt.html An obituary by Cassutt]
* [http://web.archive.org/20011120172337/www.geocities.com/konstiantin/osfw/authors/RAL_sinor_tribute.html &quot;The Cranky Old Man of Tulsa&quot;]
* [http://greatsfandf.com/AUTHORS/RALafferty.php &quot; A Few Words About R. A. Lafferty&quot;]
* [http://www.cordwainer-smith.com/lafferty.htm &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Winner of the 2002 Cordwainer Smith Foundation &quot;Rediscovery&quot; Award]
* [http://antsofgodarequeerfish.blogspot.com/ &quot;The Ants of God Are Queer Fish - An R. A. Lafferty Blog&quot;]

'''Works available online'''
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty3/lafferty31.html Narrow Valley]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty5/lafferty51.html Slow Tuesday Night]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty/lafferty1.html Nine Hundred Grandmothers]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty4/lafferty41.html The Transcendent Tigers]
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/23161 Sodom and Gomorrah, Texas]

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      <text bytes="56746" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Lafferty2.jpg|333px|thumb|I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively [[complex]], and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche [[ideas]] will have this trouble.]]
'''[[w:R. A. Lafferty|Raphael Aloysius Lafferty]]''' ([[7 November]] [[1914]] – [[18 March]] [[2002]]) was an [[American]] science fiction and fantasy writer, famous for his humorous use of [[metaphor]], narrative structure, and [[language]] in his very peculiar forms of etymological wit.

== Quotes ==
[[File: Cernunnos - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;]]
[[File: Electricsheep-3052.jpg|thumb|To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.]]
[[File: Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.]]
[[File: RegenbogenDSCN0352.JPG|thumb|The [[good]] [[stories]], of course, write themselves...]]

* &quot;Tell me the [[truth]], girl: how does the man next door ship out trailer-loads of material from a building ten times too small to hold the stuff?&quot; '''&quot;He cuts prices.&quot;'''
** &quot;In Our Block&quot; (1965); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''&quot;My [[brain]] reels,&quot; moaned Homer the man. &quot;[[Reality]] melts away.&quot;'''
**&quot;[http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/hole.html The Hole in the Corner]&quot; (1967); later in ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

* '''To you who are scattered and broken, gather again and mend. Rebuild always, and again I say rebuild.''' Renew the [[face]] of the [[earth]]. It is a loved face, but now it is covered with the webs of tired spiders.
** Judy's letter to the dispersed members of the Church of Omaha, in &quot;And Walk Now Gently Through the Fire&quot; (1972)

* '''When very young, Hannali would sit on the black ground and [[Laughter|chuckle]] till it was feared he would injure himself. Whatever came over him, prenatal witticism or ancestral joke, he seldom was able to hold his glee.''' In all his life he never learned to hold it in. 
** ''Okla Hannali'' (1972)

* '''I write as clearly as I am able to. I sometimes tackle [[ideas]] and notions that are relatively complex, and it is very difficult to be sure that I am conveying them in the best way. Anyone who goes beyond cliche phrases and cliche ideas will have this trouble.'''
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* Though my short stories are the more readable, my novels do have more to say; and they will, if anyone has the patience for it, repay a rereading.
** Interview in ''Alien Critic'' (August 1973)

* For, without cruelty, only a limited success is ever possible in opera.
** ''Selenium Ghosts of the Eighteen Seventies'' (1978), in [[w:Terry Carr|Terry Carr (ed.)]], ''[[w:Terry Carr|The Year's Finest Fantasy: Volume 2]],'' p. 233 (originally published in ''[[w:Universe 8|Universe 8]])''

* '''Science Fiction has long been babbling about cosmic destructions and the ending of either physical or civilized [[worlds]], but it has all been displaced babble.''' SF has been carrying on about near-future or far-future destructions and its mind-set will not allow it to realize that the destruction of our world has already happened in the quite recent past, that today is &quot;The Day After The World Ended&quot;. … '''I am speaking literally about a real happening, the end of the world in which we lived till fairly recent years.''' The destruction or unstructuring of that world, which is still sometimes referred to as &quot;Western Civilization&quot; or &quot;Modern Civilization&quot;, happened suddenly, some time in the half century between 1912 and 1962. That world, which was &quot;The World&quot; for a few centuries, is gone. '''Though it ended quite recently, the amnesia concerning its ending is general.''' Several historiographers have given the opinion that these amnesias are features common to all &quot;ends of worlds&quot;. Nobody now remembers our late world very clearly, and nobody will ever remember it clearly in the natural order of things. '''It can't be recollected because recollection is one of the things it took with it when it went...'''
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''In its flexibility and in its wide-open opportunities, this is the total [[Utopia]].''' Anything that you can conceive of, you can do in this non-world. Nothing can stop you except a total bankruptcy of [[creativity]]. The seedbed is waiting. '''All the circumstances stand ready. The fructifying minerals are literally jumping out of the ground. And [[nothing]] grows.''' And nothing grows. And nothing grows. Well, why doesn't it?
** ''The Day After the World Ended'', notes for a speech at ''DeepSouthCon'79'', New Orleans (21 July 1979), later published in ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem.''' For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him.
** &quot;Golden Gate&quot; in ''Golden Gate and Other Stories'' (1982)

* I don't think I should be getting more attention from mainstream book reviewers. I've never written any mainstream books, and I'm always surprised when the mainstreamers notice me at all.
** As quoted in [http://www.sanduskyregister.com/story/201501160010 &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991); here in the ''Sandusky Register'' (16 January 2015)]

* I don't regard myself as a [[Surrealist]] in the sense of the &quot;[[w:Surrealist Manifesto|Surrealist Manifesto]]&quot; published by [[Andre Breton]] in 1924. To me, that Manifesto is somewhat dated, being a recoil from [[World War I]], and being too heavily [[Freudian]]. '''My own unconscious is more [[Jungian]] than Freudian.''' But if Breton hadn't staked claim to the [[name]], I would probably call myself a Surrealist in the &quot;Remembrance of Things Within&quot; sense, but not in the &quot;world of dream and fantasy joined to the everyday rational world, becoming 'an absolute reality, a surreality'.&quot; '''I suppose that I believe in another sort of a surreality or super-reality, but it would have to be on a wider basis than the encounters of myself and me.''' As often as not, it is the subconscious that supplies the rational element, and the exterior world that supplies the dream and fantasy feeling.
** As quoted in &quot;My interview with R.A. Lafferty&quot;, by Tom Jackson, originally published in ''Lan's Lantern'' #39 (1991)

* '''The best [[time]] to write a [[story]] is yesterday. The next best time is today.'''
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* '''The [[good]] stories, of course, write themselves.''' And somebody wants to know who are the really good writers, and how many of them there are. There aren't any. Most of the writers are likeable frauds. Some are unlikable frauds.
** ''It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs'' (1995)

* Mr. Lafferty says, &quot;'''I'm the fellow who, for more than a quarter century, has faithfully maintained the thesis that all writers should be funny-looking and all stories should be [[funny]]. Almost all of the [[evil]] in the [[world]] is brought about by handsome writers doing pompous pieces.''' But sometimes readers tell me that such a story of mine is not funny at all. 'Wait, wait,' I tell them. 'You're holding it upside-down. Now try it.' And sure enough it is funny if they get ahold of it right. This caution is especially applicable to the story 'Junkyard Thoughts.' Be sure you're not holding it upside-down or it will be merely bewildering.&quot;
** Introduction to 'Junkyard Thoughts' in ''Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine'' (February 1986)

=== ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968) ===
[[File: The Realm of Rane - by Jeroen van Valkenburg.PNG|thumb|The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own [[mind]].]]

* '''Paul, there is something very slack about a future that will take a biting satire for a vapid dream.'''
** The character of [[Thomas More]] on the future reception of his ''[[w:Utopia (book)|Utopia]]'', in Ch. 2

* '''The shapes they take are both objective and subjective. One can shape them a little with one's own mind.'''
** Ch. 7

* Now then, I have given you a short fair hearing as the law requires. I do not solicit the support of your party, though, in all honesty, if it had more than one member I might.
** Ch. 9

===''Space Chantey'' (1968)===
[[File:Arco iris circular.JPG|thumb|This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]] … The [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct.]]
:&lt;small&gt;A comedic space-fantasy based upon the ''[[w:Odyssey|Odyssey]]'' of [[Homer]] and other tales of mythology and folklore. &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Walhall by Emil Doepler.jpg|thumb|There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].]]
[[File:Henry De Groux001.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow [[thought]] say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.]]
[[File:MAN Atlante fronte 1040572.JPG|thumb|By my attention I hold it [[all]] in being. [[Nothing]] exists unless it is perceived.]]
[[File:Icon Greek mythology Odysseus mast.jpg|thumb| And finally a [[great]] savior broke the charm…]]
[[File:Villa Romana de La Olmeda Mosaicos romanos 001 Ulises.jpg|thumb|I am a [[great]] one for winning [[justice]] for the lowly, and I do not [[scare]] easily.]]
[[File:Sheep's face, Malta.jpg|thumb|My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you [[people]] of eating men.]]
[[File:Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus.jpg|thumb|I resent your calling this a silly [[myth]]. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.]]
[[File:Franz von Stuck Tilla Durieux als Circe.jpg|thumb|I am mistress of [[all]] the [[sciences]]. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called [[magic]].]]
[[File:Dosso Dossi 003.jpg|thumb| The [[witch]] has been playing a semantic [[trick]] on us.]]
[[File:Pretty Little Liars.jpg|thumb|Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.]]
[[File:William Bouguereau - Dante and Virgile - Google Art Project 2.jpg|thumb|If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the [[wrong]] place.]]
[[File:Johann Heinrich Füssli 063.jpg|thumb|You show signs of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.]]
[[File:Ulysse dans l'Ile de Calypso.JPG|thumb| [[Peace]] be not the [[end]] of my epic!]]
[[File:Nicolae Vermont - Visul lui Ulise.jpg|thumb| Make no [[mistake]], this only seems &lt;br&gt; the [[end]] of it.]]

* &lt;p&gt;'''''Lend ear while things incredible we bring about &lt;br&gt; And Spacemen [[dead]] and [[deathless]] yet we [[sing]] about''':—''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'' And some were weak and wan, and some were [[strong]] enough,'' &lt;br&gt; ''And some got [[home]], but damn it took them long enough!''&lt;/p&gt;
** Ch. 1

* '''This [[myth]] filter was [[necessary]]. The ship logs could not tell it rightly nor could any flatfooted prose. And the [[deeds]] were too bright to be viewed direct. They could only be sung by a bard gone blind from viewing [[suns]] that were suns.'''
** Ch. 1

* '''The [[war]] was finished.''' It had lasted ten equivalent years and taken ten million lives. Thus it was neither of long duration nor of serious attrition. It hadn't any great significance; it was not intended to have. '''It did not prove a point, since all points had long ago been proven. What it did, perhaps, was to emphasize an aspect, sharpen a concept, underline a trend.''' &lt;br&gt; On the whole it was a successful operation. Economically and ecologically it was of healthy effect, and who should grumble? &lt;br&gt; And after wars, men go home. No, no, men start for home. '''It's not the same.'''
** Ch. 1

* These men were the salt of the [[skies]], the one out of ten who had determinedly stayed alive through the whole war, very often hurt, absolutely refusing to be killed.
** Ch. 1

* '''When we travel we find how greatly our boyhood [[dreams]] are outstripped by [[reality]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum, about the planet [[w:Lotus-eaters|Lotophage]], Ch. 1

* I do not [[understand]] your [[custom]] in this, but we do not intend to [[fight]] until [[all]] of us are dead. '''We desire very much that none of us be dead. And we will fight till all of you are dead only if it is absolutely [[necessary]].'''
** Captain Roadstrum to Bjorn, on planet [[w:Valhalla|Valhal]], also known as [[w:Laestrygonians|Lamos]], in Ch. 2

* '''There are no [[rules]]. We do whatever seems the most [[fun]].'''
** Bjorn to Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''[[Death]] is for a long [[time]]. Those of shallow thought say that it is [[forever]]. There is, at least, a long [[night]] of it.''' There is the forgetfulness and the loss of [[identity]]. The [[spirit]], even as the body, is unstrung and burst and scattered. '''One goes down to death, and it leaves a mark on one forever.'''
** On death and the nightly resurrection of the slain on Valhal, Ch. 2

* '''I've had enough of this place where they stuff you full of bull and then hunt you down and [[kill]] you every day.'''
** Crewman Humphrey on Valhal, Ch. 2

* There are [[skies]] we have not seen yet! There are whole realms still unvisited by us. '''We will not be penned in even a giant's pen. We fly!'''
** Captain Roadstrum, Ch. 2

* '''I will never tell anyone how much [[fun]] it is in this place.'''
** Oath by Captain Roadstrum not to tell how much fun Valhal is, written in [[blood]] from the roots of his torn-out tongue, Ch. 2

* The ''Dong'' button was just that, a big green button with the word ''Dong'' engraved on it. You pushed it, and it went ''dong''. Well, that was almost too simple. Should there not be a deeper reason for it? And the small instruction plate over it didn’t add much. It read: “'''Wrong prong, bong gong.'''”
** Description of a '''''Dong''''' button, which is later revealed to reverse the flow of time for the wielder, if there has been a dire error made which needs correcting, Ch. 3
&lt;!-- * ''A thing unseen is on its face unseeable; &lt;br&gt; a being, savored not nor heard, unbe-able; &lt;p&gt; and be assured there's naught at all outside of us &lt;br&gt; unless perceived by one or by a pride of us, &lt;p&gt; nor someone see it move it will not move at all, and damn! he had a husky guy to prove it all!''
** Ch. 3 --&gt;

* They were down on Kentron-Kosmon, an insignificant world. And yet, in the middle of Space-Port there (a cow pasture rather; it wasn't much of a spaceport) there was a nice plaque of electrum and on it was lettered: '''''This is the [[w:Omphalos|Exact Center]] of the [[Universe]].'''''
** Ch. 4

* '''''I'm the guy who keeps it all going. If I weren't here, you wouldn't be here either.''' I know it all, I'm a smart-aleck. Loan-sharking and fencing. Any time I can't see you, you've had it.''
** Sign on the booth of &quot;the big fellow&quot; of Kentron-Kosmon, [[w:Atlas (mythology)|Atlas]], in Ch. 3

* It isn't my profundity that makes me a mental marvel, it's the amazing detail of my perception. There's nobody else who can keep so many things on his mind at once. 
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* As regards very small celestial bodies of a light-minded nature, '''the law of levity is allowed to supersede the law of gravity.'''
** Atlas, in Ch. 4

* '''I tried to tell you, but words will not convey it. One has to be inside it to comprehend the magnitude.''' … It ''was'' the beginning. It's the only thing there is. But it was haphazard for so many aeons that it spooks me to think about it. There were always three or four maintaining it, but there was no one person strong enough to take it all over. &quot;Somewhere there must be someone strong enough to take it all over,&quot; I said to myself in a direful moment, but the strongest person I could think of was myself. I've been doing it ever since. … '''By my attention I hold it all in being. Nothing exists unless it is perceived.''' If perception fails for a moment, then that thing fails forever. … I hate to be misjudged. They say that I bear it all on my shoulders, as though I were a stud or a balk. '''It's not on my great shoulders, it is amazing head on my great shoulders that maintains all.'''
** Atlas, on bearing the burden of maintaining the worlds, in Ch. 4

* '''An excess of science will leave none of us alive.'''
**Roadstrum to Puckett, on using crew members to test the lethality of the [[w:Siren|Siren-Zo]], in Ch. 4

* &quot;'Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday and Monday and Tuesday,' so the poor slaves had to sing in their labor for the [[w:Púca|puca]]. '''And finally a great savior broke the charm.''' 'And Wednesday too' he said, and then it was all over with.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Roadstrum is the great savior who breaks the charm,&quot; Roadstrum announced. &quot;'''I will set a Wednesday-term to the monster.''' But there are other elements in this…&quot;
** On confronting the Siren-Zo of Sireneca, in Ch. 4

* '''Roadstrum had a way of putting it on a little thick himself.''' &lt;br&gt; &quot;Be there a man among you who doubts my [[w:Demesne|demesne]] or destiny, then I have fared in vain,&quot; he said. &quot;I bare my throat to the treacherous steel —&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;All right, all right,&quot; the three tough crewmen capitulated. We're with you all the way and in everything. Only spare us the 'act.'&quot;
** Roadstrum confronting a potential mutiny, in Ch. 5

* '''Roadstrum had always believed that he had troubles enough of his own. He seldom borrowed trouble, and never on usurious terms.''' He knew that it was a solid thing that sheep do not gather in taverns and drink beer, not even potato beer; that they do not sing, not even badly; that they do not tell stories. But a stranger can easily make trouble for himself on a strange world by challenging local customs. &lt;br&gt; &quot;But I am the greet Roadstrum,&quot; he said, suddenly and loudly. &quot;'''I am a great one for winning justice for the lowly, and I do not scare easily.''' I threw the great Atlas at the wrestle, and who else can say as much? I suffer from the heroic sickness every third day about nightfall, and I am not sure whether this is the third day or not. '''I say you are men and not sheep. I say: Arise and be men indeed!'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;It has been tried before,&quot; said Roadstrum's friend, the sheep, &quot;and it didn't work.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;You have tried a revolt, and it failed?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No, no, '''another man tried to incite us to revolt, and failed.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5, on Polyphemia

* &quot;Strangers may not lodge complaints till they have been in residence here for ninety days,&quot; the [[w:Cacique|Cacique]] said, &quot;and no stranger has ever remained with us that long.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''My complaint won't hold for ninety days. I accuse you people of eating men.'''&quot; 
** Ch. 5

* &quot;'''Here there are warlocks and [[w:Mandragora (demon)|mandragoras]] and witches''',&quot; the navigation data log issued. &lt;br&gt; &quot;When your machines start to go [[wikt:droll|droll]] on you you're in trouble,&quot; Roadstrum growled. &quot;I can get wise answers from my men. I don't need a machine for that.&quot;
** Ch. 6, on approaching the world of [[w:Aeaea|Aeaea]]

* 'We are strangers, lost and bemused,&quot; Roadstrum said to the lady. &quot;We have landed here by accident. We are looking for a lady who was singing, the lady who (according to silly myth) is identical with the planet and who sang the planet into being.&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''I am [[w:Circe|Aeaea]].''' To my notion there is no other lady anywhere. And '''I resent your calling this a silly myth. I made the myth and it is not silly; charming rather.''' Well, come along, come along! You are my things now, and you will come when I call you.
** Ch. 6

* &quot;'''I am mistress of all the sciences. I go so far beyond all else that my work is called magic.''' I manipulate [[w: Noumenon|noumena]], regarding [[w:Monad (Greek philosophy)|monads]] as points of entry tangential to [[w: Hylomorphism|hylomorphism]]. As to the paradox of [[w:Essentialism|Primary Essence]] being contained in [[w:Quiddity|Quiddity]], the larger in the smaller, I have my own solution. The difficulty is always in not confusing [[w:Contingency (philosophy)|Contingency]] with [[w:Inflection|Accidence]]. '''Do you understand me?'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Sure. '''You're a witch.'''&quot;
** Ch. 6

* '''Do you not know that the underground lands are shared by many [[worlds]]?''' It is all one underground, a vast place, and it is but a trick on which globe one will surface on coming out. '''This is the reason that the inside of every world is so much vaster than the outside.''' You are fooled by the shape of these little balls on which things live and crawl; you see the universe inside out; you see the orbs as containing and not contained. I will teach you to see it right if you please me. 
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I am the consummate scientist, Road-Storm. Science has suffered in having her name applied to mechanics, an ugly step-child of hers.''' Matter herself is a humiliation to the serious. We cannot make it vanish forever, but can make it seem to. For my purpose that is even better. '''All matter can be modified as long as it is kept subjective. Let us keep it so.''' … Those who fail to understand my science may call it magic or hypnotism or deception. But it is only my projection of total subjectivity.
** Aeaea, Ch. 6

* '''I'll break the spell or the science of her singing yet. As the only man left it devolves on me to do it.'''
** Roadstrum, not realizing he has become a small ape, in Ch. 6

* Something was working in Roadstrum's little ape head. '''When he had been a man he had always known when it was time for action; particularly he had always known the last [[moment]] when [[action]] was still [[possible]]. He knew now that that moment was come very near.''' … Then a blinding light burst upon Roadstrum, and he saw the truth of the situation. Many things Roadstrum was not, and it was sometimes wondered why he was the natural leader of all the men. '''He was their leader because he was a man on whom the blinding light sometimes descended.'''
** Ch. 6

* '''The witch has been playing a semantic trick on us.''' We were already pretty salty animals when we came here! It is toy animals she has turned us into. We have been working against ourselves, trying to be men again, but to be her idea of men, since we live in her context. But she does not know real animals, or men. … '''Be you not toys any longer! Stir up the wild business in you. You have to be real animals before you can be men.'''
** Ch. 6

* It was the most exclusive club in the world, in all the worlds, and this is a mighty pale statement to make about it. '''Let us emphasize that it was hard to get into.'''
** On &quot;The Club&quot; AKA the High Liar's Club, Ch. 7

* &quot;This is the Improbable Club,&quot; said the President-Emeritus in a heavy muffled voice, &quot;and you things have made an improbable entry. Many unqualified persons have attempted to crash this Club, but you have done it literally. Whether you will be able to qualify for our high membership is another thing. It will not matter. We accept, for a brief moment at least, all who come here as members. '''We will quickly measure you one way or another. We have no living ex-members.''' Sit you down, all, and unwind your ears. Remember, each topper must be topped.&quot;
** Ch. 7

* '''Be not nervous. In a very little while you will either be a member or you will not be.'''
** Ch. 7

* &quot;For one [[crime]] there is no asylum even in the Club,&quot; whispered Horace the Snake, who had sharp ears for whispering. &quot;'''For all other crimes we give asylum, for the most heinous crime in the universe we give no asylum.'''&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;What is the most heinous crime in the universe?&quot; Roadstrum asked. &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Killing a songbird.'''&quot;
** Ch. 7

*&lt;p&gt;'''''The place itself, and ne'er a good word spoke of it, &lt;br&gt; You shiver when you even make a joke of it.'''''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Though some go cocky, gaily in hand-basket there, &lt;br&gt; The most fare sadly in a clammy casket there…''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Undying pain and gaping loss, no doubt of it. &lt;br&gt; A wide way leading in and no way out of it!''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''But none have told the blackest horror shrouded there — &lt;br&gt; Tall teeming terror‚ but it sure is crowded there.''&lt;/p&gt;
** On Hellpepper Planet, Ch. 7

* '''If you have come with high [[expectations]] of anything, you have come to the wrong place.'''
** A lieutenant of [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* '''You show [[sign]]s of [[levity]], and that is the one thing not permitted here. This place is for serious persons only.''' If you are not serious now, by hell you'll get serious pretty quick!
** [[w:Tiresias|Tiresias]], Ch. 7

* This petty place cannot be [[Hell]], Roadstrum? Ah, but it is my friend. '''That, you see, is the hell of it.'''
** Tiresias, Ch. 7

* Man-a-bleeding, but they broke out of that place! '''You say it can't be done, but they did it. Their expectations had been too high, and no second-rate Hell could hold them.''' &lt;br&gt; In a way it was their greatest feat. No one else had ever broken out of there before.
** Ch. 7

* &quot;I'm doing pretty good. I'm a seminal [[genius]], they say, and I have the most sophisticated tools ever devised to work with. And I do build some good things for them. I'm quite successful. I'll tell you something, though. In the daytime, with all those sophisticated tools, and particularly if someone's watching me, I just stall around. But at night — &quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Ah, at night! What do you do then, Hondstarfer?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;'''Put away those damned sophisticated tools and get my stone hammers. That's when I build the good stuff.''' Don't give me away, though, Roadstrum.
** Ch. 8, Hondstarfer of Valhal, speaking of his work as a design engineer.

* '''The [[eye]] in his [[hand]] winked at him dourly. Eye was a tough old gump, not given to easy enthusiasms.''' Roadstrum put it back in his pocket and once more contemplated his good fortune.
** Comments on Roadstrum speaking to the pickled eye he carries in his pocket, in Ch. 8

* '''I will be double-damned to a better Hell than Hellpepper Planet if I will have my ending here in peace! Peace be not the end of my epic!''' An epic is already failed if it have an ending. '''I don't care how it ended the first time — it will not end the same now!'''
** Roadstrum, in Ch. 8

*&lt;p&gt;''His soaring vaunt escaped the blooming ears of us, &lt;br&gt; He's gone, he's dead, he's dirt, he disappears from us! ''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; ''Be this the [[death]] of highest thrust of [[human]] [[all]]? &lt;br&gt; The flaming end of bright and shining crewmen all?''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Destroyed? His road is run? It's but a bend of it;'' &lt;br&gt; '''''Make no [[mistake]], this only seems'''''&lt;/p&gt;
:::: '''''the [[end]] of it.'''''
:* Ch. 8

=== ''The Reefs of Earth'' (1968) ===
* ‎Sometimes traveling people will be talking together. They will say how good it is in some places and how bad it is in others. And, sooner or later, one of them is bound to mention it. &quot;Talk about really being out in the boondocks!&quot; he will say, &quot;there's a little planet named [[Earth]] —&quot;

* It was their way of defying that tricky place Earth. That place will hurt you if you let it get the hop on you. They spooked the Earth spooks away with their stories. They whistled in the dark.

* &quot;Pirates are perhaps the greatest invention of Earth people,&quot; Elizabeth interrupted loftily, &quot;and their pirate stories are wonderful entertainment for small children. We have to give Earth people credit for that, they invented pirates.&quot;

===''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)===
[[File: Glory, spectre.jpg|thumb|It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.]]

* &quot;There was a later time when [[sincere]] men tried to build an organization as wide as the [[world]] to secure the [[peace]] of the world. It had been tried before and it had failed before. Perhaps if it failed this time it would not be tried again for a very long while. '''The [[idea]] of the thing was attacked by good and bad men, in good faith and bad.''' The final realization of it was so close that it could be touched with the fingertips. A gambler wouldn't have given odds on it either way. It teetered, and it almost seemed as though it would succeed. Then members of that group interfered.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;And it failed, O'Claire?&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;No. It [[succeeded]], Foley, as in the other case. '''It succeeded in so twisted a [[fashion]] that the [[Devil]] himself was puzzled as to whether he had gained or lost ground by it. And he isn't easily puzzled.'''&quot;
** Ch. 4

* &quot;A newspaper man has got to know when to keep his mouth and his mind shut. You might end up dead.&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Isn't that the usual fate of men, Harry?&quot;
** Ch. 8

===''The Flame is Green'' (1971)===
[[File:Cloud-top green flash, San Francisco, California - 2006.jpg|thumb|Do not be [[deceived]] by the way [[men]] of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]...]]
[[File: Square1.jpg|thumb|Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of [[radical]] is superficial, the opposite of [[liberal]] is stingy; the opposite of [[conservative]] is destructive.]]
[[File: Egg Nebula.jpg|thumb|[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]. They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen.]]
[[File: Fogbow glory spectre bridge.JPG |thumb|A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it [[grows]] out in spans towards the further one.]]
[[File: Internet map 1024.jpg|thumb|In this [[growing]] there are no really new things or new situation. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.]]
[[File: Plasma lamp touching.jpg|thumb|Whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a [[devil]]...]]

* “'''The [[world]] is a [[garden]]''',” the old man said. “It is a farm, a plantation, a sheep-ranch. In the garden are the cities also; they too are a great part of the planting. '''Believe me, all these plantations are sowed with [[good]] seed. But the Enemy from the Beginning also sows the [[w:Red herring|red blight]]''': these are the [[w:Sinapis arvensis|charlocks]], the [[w:Parable of the Tares|tares, called ''zizania'']] in the Vulgate. '''Do not be fooled as to what it is and who sowed it.''' Do not be fooled in the factory or the arsenal, in the ship-yard or the shop; do not be fooled on the bleak farms or in the crowded city, in the club or in the workers’ hall or in the drawing room. The [[wrong]] thing that is sowed is [[Falsehood|the red weed, the red blight]]. And the Enemy has done this. &lt;br /&gt; &quot;Or '''let us say that we have a green thing [[growing]] [[forever]]. Everything that is done is done by it. And on it we also have the red [[w:parasite|parasite]] crunching forever: and everything that is undone is undone by that.''' The parasite will present itself as a modern thing. It will call itself the Great Change. Less often, and warily, it will call itself the Great Renewal. But it can never be another thing than the Red [[Failure]] returned. It is a [[disease]], it is a scarlet fever, a typhoid, a diphtheria; it is the Africa disease, it is the red leprosy, it is the crab-cancer. It is the death of the [[individual]] and of the [[corporate]] [[soul]]. And incidentally, but very often, it is also the death of the individual and of the corporate body. '''We are asked to swear [[w:fealty|fealty]] to the parasite disease which the [[enemy]] sowed from the beginning. I will not do it, and I [[hope]] that you will not.'''&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;'''Do not be [[deceived]] by the way men of [[bad]] [[faith]] misuse [[words]] and [[names]]''',&quot; the Black Pope was saying, and now his head was quite powdered with snow. &quot;It used to be only the [[English]] who excelled in the deception of words. Then the [[French]] went even beyond them, and [[now]] the whole [[world]] is adept at it.&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Things are set up as [[Contradiction|contraries]] that are [[w:Category mistake|not even in the same category]]. Listen to me: the [[w:Opposite (semantics)|opposite]] of [[radical]] is [[superficial]], the opposite of [[liberal]] is [[Stinginess|stingy]]; the opposite of [[conservative]] is [[destructive]]. Thus I will describe myself as a [[Radical centrism|radical conservative liberal]]'''; but certain of the [[Corruption|tainted]] red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. '''Beware of those who use words to [[Meaning|mean]] their opposites. At the same time have [[pity]] on them, for usually this [[trick]] is their only [[wikt:stock-in-trade|stock in trade]].'''
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* &quot;There are only two possible statements that can be made about the [[worlds]],&quot; the Black Pope of the Carlist Hills had lectured one day. &quot;Alpha: There is a [[God]]. Omega: there is not a God. To adhere to either of these two statements strongly is to be [[logical]] at least. Not to do so is to be in the snivelling wasteland between and to have no point of contact with logic or [[reason]].&quot;
** Ch. 5 : Muerte De Boscaje

* '''Beware of those who manufacture final answers as they go along, of those who will catch you on their catch-phrases and let you perish in the traps. ''[[All]] the final answers were given in the [[beginning]]''.''' They stand shining, above and beyond us, but they are always there to be seen. They may be too bright for us, they may be too clear for us. Well then, we must clarify our own [[eyes]]. '''Our task is to [[grow]] out until we reach them.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''We ourselves become the bridges out over the interval that is the world and [[time]].''' It is a [[daring]] thing to fling ourselves out over that void that is black and scarlet below and green and gold above. '''A bridge does not abandon its first shore when it grows out in spans towards the further one.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''In this growing there are no really new things or new situations. There are only things growing out right, or things growing out deformed or shriveled.''' There is [[nothing]] new about railways or foundries or lathes or steel furnaces. They also are green-growing things. There is nothing new about organizations of men or of [[money]]. '''All these growing things are good, if they grow towards the final answers that were given in the beginning.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* '''The devils stroll the earth again and infect with the red sickness. They must, at all cost to themselves, destroy the [[growing]] tendrils before such can [[touch]] the other side. For, whenever one least growing creeper touches across the interval, that means the extinction of a devil.''' It is a thing to be [[tested]]. Notice it that whenever there is the special shrilling, when there is the wild flinging out of catchwords to catch you in, when there are the weird exceptions and inclusions, when there are specious arguments and the murderous defamations, when all the volubility of the voltairians and the cuteness of the queers has been assembled to confound you, then one green growth has almost reached across to the other side, one devil is in danger of extinction. Oh, they will defend against that!
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

* Listen now to a series of sayings that always come hard to brave people. '''Our own [[great]] movement will grow with its own impetus wherever it is not blighted.''' We will break up persons of blight and centers of blight. '''But often, and this will be the hard part for all of you to understand, we will warn and advise before we [[kill]]. And quite often we will not kill at all. Try to [[understand]] this.'''
** Ch. 9 : Oh, The Steep Roofs of Paris

=== ''Arrive at Easterwine'' (1971) ===
:&lt;small&gt;''Arrive at Easterwine : The Autobiography of a Ktistec Machine'' — The narrator of this story is a &quot;Epiktistes&quot; conscious machine about the size of a building, with an ability to create mobile extensions of itself.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Oh, come along, reader of the High Journal; if you do not love [[words]], how will you [[love]] the [[communication]]?''' How will you forgive me my tropes, communicate the love?
** Epigraph (of &quot;Epiktistes&quot;)

* Gaetan had always had a terrible finality about him. Was this his great sin — that he was already [[completed]]? I will intercede for him tonight in my own not entirely mechanical way. '''To be completed is to be finished in so many ways!''' May that twinkling man Gaetan be undone a little and saved.
** Ch. 6

* '''[[True]] [[love]] is that we should hate whatever interferes with our [[vision]] of the high and the lowly.'''
** Ch. 6

* &quot;Oh, I cannot abide these complacent clods,&quot; I exclaim. &quot;I cannot relate to these opulent oafs who are [[laughing]] in the streets. They are not high enough or low enough. For my love I must find the poor, the deprived, the fornicators, the addicts, the drunkards, the unwashed, ...&quot; &lt;br&gt; &quot;Oh, these are the poor,&quot; the clod told me. &quot;This is the poorest street in town, Index Y-Z. It's hard to tell them apart now except that the poor spend more ostentatiously than the rich do.&quot;
** Ch. 6

===''The Devil is Dead'' (1971)===
[[File:Bad day - nice Halloween.jpg|thumb|Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.]]

* '''Put the nightmare together. If you do not wake up screaming, you have not put it together well.'''
** Prologue

* Carr states that the characters of the [[w:Brynhildr|Brunhilde]] are not true archetypes. Why, then they are false archetypes, and these also have their being. Kidd believes that X himself is in the process of becoming the Third Evil to fill the void left by the insufficiency of Papadiabolous and Seaworthy in the roles of devils. But Kidd is [[James Joyce|Joycean]]. To complicate matters, Lafferty swears that  [[w:Finnegans Wake|Finnegan]] is in no way Joycean, that he is nine hundred years earlier, out of the Yellow Book of Lecan (the ''Tain Bo Cuailinge''), a character out of the ''Tain''. This presupposes that Finnegan is identical with [[w:Fionn mac Cumhaill|Fion McCool]] as well as with the more derivative Fingal, and also with [[w:Cúchulainn|Cu Chulainn]]. '''Well, Finnegan is capable of being all.''' To those interested in this line I recommend ''Thurneysen’s Die Irische Helden- und Konigsage''.
** Interglossia

* '''When you can't depend on the [[Devil]], who can you depend on?'''
** Ch. 5

* '''Brannagan had been to more places than Finnegan had, including the same places.''' He had not only skirted the d'Entre-Casteau Islands, he had walked all over them. He had not only sailed through China Straits, he had dived in them for old wrecks. He had not only climbed the Cloudy Mountains, but had panned [[gold]] in their streams and dips.
** Ch. 13

=== ''Archipelago'' (1979) ===
[[File: Miranda - Frederick Goodall.jpg|thumb|A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.]]

* &quot;The perfect ghost story is the story of Possession,&quot; he said, &quot;and that is hypnotism from beyond the grave. This is possible since hypnotism is by the will, and the will is immortal. A number of notable men have been possessed, and all of their lives seem to fit a pattern: the inconsequential early years, the hiatus when they stood where [[w:Faust|Faust]] stood, and the decision. And then the rise to power and influence and almost universal honor after they have made the deal. But it is not themselves, it is the devils within them that gain these things. '''They are the possessed men who do much of the running of the world, and theirs is the most frightening story that can be imagined. But those who watch the great men do not know that they are shells inhabited by ghosts.'''&quot;
** Chapter Three, Pt. 5, A &quot;ghost story&quot; as narrated in its entirety by a character in the novel in a small ward gathering.

* '''A crisis should have [[thunder]] in it.''' If Finnegan and Dotty had been able to generate a crisis with thunder and [[lightning]], things might have been different. But what if the last anchor-cable parts when no one knows it, and the drift has already begun? This is the crisis come and gone.
** Chapter Four, Pt. 6

== Quotations about Lafferty ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Rainbow Leprechaun.png|thumb|The prize here is the [[key]] to the [[Kingdom of God|kingdom]], and the show is pretty [[funny]]. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's [[humor]] — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a [[laugh]]. ~ Brian Cholfin]]
[[File:Gaiman-headshot.jpg|thumb|He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His [[stories]]… are without precedent... ~ [[Neil Gaiman]] ]] 
[[File:Collage_Auge_im_Himmel_byLöser.jpg|thumb|Just about everything Lafferty writes is [[fun]], is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with [[myth]], and of both with something more … ~ [[w:Gene Wolfe|Gene Wolfe]] ]]
[[File:Electricsheep-14792.jpg|thumb|Lafferty has the [[power]] which sets [[fire]] behind your eyeballs. There is warmth, illumination, and a certain [[joy]] attendant upon the [[experience]]. He's [[good]]. ~ [[Roger Zelazny]] ]]

* R .A. Lafferty has always been uniquely his own man, but in this book he surpasses himself. '''It is [[wild]], subtle, demonic, [[angelic]], [[hilarious]], tragic, [[poetic]], a [[thundering]] melodrama and a quest into the depths of the human [[spirit]]. '''You'll think about it for a long time and probably go back to it more than once.
** [[w:Poul Anderson|Poul Anderson]] on ''[[w:Fourth Mansions|Fourth Mansions]]'' (1969)

* '''For me, reading Lafferty was like looking into [[George Chapman|Chapman]]’s [[Homer]].''' He interested me in SF again, after I had outgrown my early love for [[Clifford D. Simak|Simak]] and [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] and [[Robert A. Heinlein|Heinlein]]. '''What a word slinger: what a richness of [[idea]] and [[image]], in Irish-cadenced prose!''' Lafferty wrote the opposite of the post-[[Anton Chekhov|Chekhovian]] modern short story. Show don’t tell? The [[pleasure]] is in the telling. &lt;br /&gt;'''[[Rhetoric]], in the [[grand]] old manner, was at the center of his [[game]]. He could go from high-faluting to just plain faluting, and back again, all in a paragraph.''' Like [[Charles Mingus]], another American original, Lafferty loved the sounds he made; never satisfied with mere profundity, he was pretty, too. He was our Mingus, I think, elevating us all. And his stories always had a [[humanist]] agenda, though I understand he was a political [[conservative]]. … I believe his day is yet to come; that like [[Herman Melville|Melville]], Lafferty will be &quot;discovered,&quot; and his ''Okla Hannali'' will take its rightful place as one of the three or four truly great 20th century American novels.
** [[w:Terry Bisson|Terry Bisson]], in [http://www.terrybisson.com/page24/page24.html &quot;R.A. LAFFERTY (1914 - 2002)&quot;, a eulogy in ''LOCUS'' magazine]

* '''Characters in Lafferty stories don't act or speak as normal folks do. Impossible things happen routinely.''' Indeed, the whole philosophical works are staged like a two-bit vaudeville act, with characters reminiscent of sideshow hucksters and midway card-sharps, promising marvelous prizes with one hand and taking your money with the other, leaving you wondering what the hell this thing is being put into your hands while you're being shuffled out the back door. '''But the prize here is the key to the kingdom, and the show is pretty funny. There is in fact no limit to Lafferty's humor — even the old banana-peel gag will be trotted out if it'll get a laugh.'''
** Brian Cholfin in [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night']

* The history of the [[w:Choctaw|Choctaw]] Indians has been told before and is still being told, but it has never been told in the way Lafferty tells it … Hannali is a buffalo bull of a man who should become one of the enduring characters in the literature of the American Indian.
** [[w:Dee Brown (novelist)|Dee Brown]], quoted in the University of Oklahoma Press edition of ''Okla Hannali''

* '''One of the few writers who have made me laugh aloud.'''
** [[Arthur C. Clarke]]{{source}}

* Lafferty's first full-length work is an event. As with everything the man writes, the wind of imagination blows strongly, with the happy difference that in a novel he can reach full gale-force, '''Lafferty defies categorization; his work is unlike anyone else's.''' This is a great galloping madman of a novel, drenched in sound and color.
** [[Harlan Ellison]] on ''[[w:Past Master (novel)|Past Master]]'' (1968){{source}}

* '''R. A. Lafferty, who died at 87 on March 18, was undoubtedly the finest writer of whatever it was that he did that ever there was.''' He was a [[genius]], an oddball, a madman. His stories… are without precedent...
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in the ''Washington Post, April 4, 2002''

* And I love it as a reader. He &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[w:Robert Aickman|Robert Aickman]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; will bring on atmosphere. He will construct these perfect, dark, doomed little stories, what he called &quot;strange stories.&quot; I find the same with Lafferty. We were talking about Lafferty earlier as somebody who I'd love to read. I am hoping someone will do the complete short stories of R.A. Lafferty. What is interesting is that when you read the early Lafferty, the closer he comes to what one might consider a normal story, the less successful he is … And Lafferty is something played in an Irish bar on an instrument that you're not quite sure what it is and you're humming the tune but you don't remember the words as you walk out.
** [[Neil Gaiman]] in ''The Neil Gaiman Reader'' (2006), p. 185

* It all goes back to [[Neil Gaiman]]. In the foreword to “Fragile Things,” he wrote that his short story “Sunbird” was his way of trying to write his own R.A. Lafferty story. So I found “Nine Hundred Grandmothers,” and it’s like nothing I’ve ever read before. It’s very blue-collar science fiction – all the familiar tropes of people going to outer space and to other planets. '''It’s hilarious, incredibly funny and at the same time it’s insanely dark.''' You get the feeling like it’s a guy just writing to amuse himself: “I don’t care if any of this makes sense, but I want to see weird stuff happen.” One of his stories starts off, “He began by breaking things that morning.” There’s a short story called “Ginny Wrapped in the Sun,” and it’s just about this little girl who’s super strong, running around, picking things up. '''You get such a sense of joy and boundless imagination in every sentence – even if the story doesn’t totally cohere, you feel like it’s about something.''' It’s so incredibly Tulsa. You get that feeling when you see a [[w:Flaming Lips|Flaming Lips]] show. '''It’s not like we’re dark and hurt and twisted. It’s like, &quot;I’ve got blood on my face – come on, y’all, this is awesome.&quot;'''
** [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]], Saturday Night Live comedian, in a review of ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' in [http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/its-so-incredibly-tulsa-bill-haders-book-picks/ &quot;‘It’s So Incredibly Tulsa’: Bill Hader’s Book Picks&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (31 January 2008)]

* '''[In these stories, Lafferty mostly] seems to be writing about places that are not on the map but are real just the same.''' Lafferty was a traveler in his youth, and he may have glimpsed some of these places on the watery horizon; whether he was sober at the time is not the issue right now. … [Lafferty] has a reading knowledge of all the languages of the Latin, German, and Slavic families, as well as Gaelic and Greek. The army sent him to Morotai, New Guinea and the Philippines, and at one time he could speak pretty good Passar Malay and Tagalog. He turned to writing about six years ago, as a substitute for serious drinking. '''The tavernkeepers weep while we rejoice: Lafferty's stories are full of a warm, Bacchic glow, recollected in sobriety — euphoria, comradeship, nostalgia, and the ever-renewed belief that something wonderful may happen.'''
** [[w:Damon Knight|Damon Knight]], in the introduction to ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* The works of R. A. Lafferty (1914-2002) are not too far out be reviewed by an ordinary human being. However, one must reach into an awkwardly positioned dimension to lay hold of them.
** John J. Reilly in a [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm review of ''The Flame is Green'']

* One of the things I loved about collaborating with Nick was that he was like R. A. Lafferty. Remember those old books for science fiction beginners, the ones that said “If you like [[Isaac Asimov|Asimov]] , read [[w: Hal Clement|Clement]]” or “If you like [[w:Robert Sheckley|Sheckley]], read [[w:William Tenn|Tenn]]”? And then you’d come to “'''If you like Lafferty, buy everything of his you can find before no one writes or thinks remotely like him.'''”
** [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]], [http://novelspot.net/node/3452 &quot;My Gang of 42&quot;]

* [R. A. Lafferty] has to be the maddest, the most colorful, the most unexpected writer alive.
** [[Theodore Sturgeon]], quoted in the first edition of Does Anyone Else Have Something Further to Add?

* '''R. A. Lafferty is unique, in the old, unspoiled sense of the word.''' A genius as wild and joyful, delightful and unpredictable as his comes along but once in a lifetime — this lifetime. Cherish him. '''If there were no Lafferty, we would lack the imagination to invent him.'''
** [[w:Michael Swanwick|Michael Swanwick]], quoted in the first edition of ''Lafferty in Orbit'' (1991)

* It's an American classic.
** Voice Literary Supplement on ''Okla Hannali''{{fix cite}}

* '''Lafferty deliberately creates the mythic effect through a technique I call effective arcanum''', and that rather than examining his work with the conventional tools of science fiction criticism, we need to examine his system — firstly for our pleasure, and secondly so that we may re-create it (because the sign of an authentic religo-magical system is the power of the followers to reproduce the results).
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''Those individuals looking from within the SF world may lack, or simply disdain, the linguistic and critical skills needed to begin to reveal that in Lafferty's work there is much more going on than meets the eye.''' The brave individuals who have attempted to do so have either merely produced fulsome praise or attempted to classify Lafferty's writings on the basis of superficialities (i.e., calling him a surrealist). '''Lafferty's use of displacement is not unique, but so few writers have consciously attempted the process, and their works are so varied, that there are no unifying articles, no language for the critic with a day job to draw on.''' Some bright lad or lass (with the appropriate dignifying letters following their names) may read this and look for the method of displacement in [[H. P. Lovecraft]], [[James Joyce]], [[w:Robert Pinget|Robert Pinget]], [[w:Gilbert Sorrentino|Gilbert Sorrentino]], [[Brian O'Nolan|Flann O'Brien]], R. A. Lafferty, [[w:Howard Waldrop|Howard Waldrop]], and [[Robert Anton Wilson|R. A. Wilson]]. '''Now there's a book worth reading.''' The astute observer will note that all the names on the list are Irish, saving those which are not.
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]], in [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; at ''Revolution Science Fiction'']

* '''What special [[magic]] does Lafferty offer? The simple answer has always been his use of [[language]].''' Well what of it — the field has many who can make a phrase sing or sing a phrase that's the thing. The true answer lies in that his stories sound like they're folk tales. Now I said something very precise there. Lafferty doesn't use the language of folktales, and only rarely uses their rhythm. But he lives so well within the language of his creation that his language — particularly in the combination of slightly archaic folk speech and outrageous etymologies for his words — sounds like language that some one has said somewhere. Yevgeny Zamyatin developed the concept of a &quot;prose foot&quot; as way of internal pacing of fiction. He saw it as a kind of rhythmic device that by causing the reader to remember an earlier part of the narrative became a force for a choral (as in pertaining to choruses) cohesion that bound the story together in a different way than plot mechanics. This method, which I can't detect in Zamyatin's works (since Russian is Greek to me) is the core of Lafferty's work. '''He has has invented the post-modern equivalent of the [[Homer|Homeric]] epithet.'''
** [[w:Don Webb|Don Webb]]{{source}}

* No true reader who has read as much as a single story by Raphael Aloysius Lafferty needs to be told that '''he is our most original writer. … Just about everything Lafferty writes is fun, is witty, is entertaining and playful. But it is not easy, for it is a mingling of allegory with myth, and of both with something more ...''' In fact, he may not be just ours, but the most original writer in the history of literature.
** [[Gene Wolfe]], in the introduction to ''Episodes of the Argo'' (1990), later published in ''Castle of Days'' (1995)

* '''Lafferty has the power which sets fire behind your eyeballs.''' There is warmth, illumination, and a certain joy attendant upon the experience. '''He's good.'''
** [[Roger Zelazny]], in a cover blurb for ''Nine Hundred Grandmothers'' (1970)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/ea.cgi?R._A._Lafferty R. A. Lafferty at the Internet Speculative Fiction Database]
* [https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/25720 R. A. Lafferty at Project Gutenberg]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL R. A. Lafferty Devotional Page]
** [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/MT/links.html Links]
* [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=1110 &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Effective Arcanum&quot; by Don Webb]
* [http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1413276&amp;lastnode_id=49412 Lafferty at Everything2]
* [http://web.archive.org/20030810041838/home.earthlink.net/~cranked/lafferty.html &quot;And They Took the Sky Off at Night&quot;- an appreciation of Lafferty by editor Brian Cholfin]
* [http://www.lostbooks.org/guestreviews/2002-06-27-1.html Review of ''The Devil is Dead'']
* [http://www.johnreilly.info/tfig.htm Review of ''The Flame is Green'' by John J. Reilly]
* [http://watershade.net/wmcclain/past_master.txt &quot;Past Master&quot;, reviewed by Bill McClain]
* [http://www.prairienet.org/~almahu/hannali.htm Review of &quot;Okla Hannali&quot;]
* [http://www.mulle-kybernetik.com/RAL/obit.html Collection of obituaries]
** [http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue260/cassutt.html An obituary by Cassutt]
* [http://web.archive.org/20011120172337/www.geocities.com/konstiantin/osfw/authors/RAL_sinor_tribute.html &quot;The Cranky Old Man of Tulsa&quot;]
* [http://greatsfandf.com/AUTHORS/RALafferty.php &quot; A Few Words About R. A. Lafferty&quot;]
* [http://www.cordwainer-smith.com/lafferty.htm &quot;R. A. Lafferty: Winner of the 2002 Cordwainer Smith Foundation &quot;Rediscovery&quot; Award]
* [http://antsofgodarequeerfish.blogspot.com/ &quot;The Ants of God Are Queer Fish - An R. A. Lafferty Blog&quot;]

'''Works available online'''
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty3/lafferty31.html Narrow Valley]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty5/lafferty51.html Slow Tuesday Night]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty/lafferty1.html Nine Hundred Grandmothers]
* [http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/classics/classics_archive/lafferty4/lafferty41.html The Transcendent Tigers]
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/23161 Sodom and Gomorrah, Texas]

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945 (1983)==
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

==Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris (1999)==
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

==Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis (2000)==
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

==To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949==
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** p. 191-2

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** p. 366-7

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945 (1983)==
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

==Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris (1999)==
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

==Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis (2000)==
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

==To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949 (2015)==
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** p. 191-2

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** p. 366-7

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945 (1983)==
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

==Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris (1999)==
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Not only, then, did Hitler do nothing to assist in the crushing of Munich’s ‘Red Republic’; he was an elected representative of his battalion during this whole period of existence. How to interpret this evidence is, nevertheless, not altogether clear. Since the Munich garrison had firmly backed the revolution since November, and again in April supported the radical move to the Räterepublik, the obvious implication must be that Hitler, in order to have been elected as a soldiers’ representative, voiced in these months the views of the socialist governments he later denounced with every fibre of his body as ‘criminal.’
** p. 118

*Ernst Toller reported that a fellow-prisoner also interned for involvement in the Räterepublik had met Hitler in a Munich barracks during the first months after the revolution, and that the latter had then been calling himself a Social Democrat. [[w:Konrad Heiden | Konrad Heiden]] remarked that, during the time of the Councils Republic, Hitler had, in heated discussions among his comrades, voiced support for the Social Democratic government against the of the Communists.
** pp. 118-119

*In a pointed remark when defending Esser in 1921 against attacks from within the party, Hitler commented: ‘Everyone was at one time a Social Democrat.’
** p. 119

*Probably in April of 1919, with the Munich ruled by the Communist Councils, [Hitler] wore, along with almost all the soldiers of the Munich garrison, the revolutionary red armband. That Hitler stood back and took no part whatsoever in the ‘liberation’ of Munich from the Räterepublik is said to have brought him later scornful reproaches from [[Ernst Röhm]].
** p. 120

*If indeed, as was later alleged, [Hitler] voiced support for the Social Democrats in preference to the Communists, it was presumably viewed as a choice of the lesser of two evils.
** p. 120

*‘German’ socialism came to be wholly associated with the extreme anti-liberal politics of the antisemitic and völkisch movement. The appeal here was mainly to the lower-middle classes—traders, craftsmen, small farmers, lower civil servants—and rooted in a combination of antisemitism, extreme nationalism, and vehement anti-capitalism (usually interpreted as ‘Jewish’ capitalism).
** p. 135

*The pronounced socialist image of the [[w:National Socialist German Workers Party| NSDAP]] that had come across strongly during the [1932] campaign… had plainly alienated middle-class support. The attacks of the Nazis had seemed to many little different from the class-warfare of the Communists. The similarity of ‘red’ and ‘brown’ varieties of ‘Bolshevism’ appeared proven by the NSDAP’s support for the Communist-inspired strike of Berlin transport workers during the days immediately preceding the election… Many shocked rural voters—a mainstay of party supporters since 1928—indeed stayed away from the polls as a result of the Nazi support for the strike… saw the Berlin transport strike as evidence that Hitler was arms in arms with Marxism… thought Hitler far on the Left.
**p. 390-391

*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
** p. 412

* On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.
** p. 412

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

==Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis (2000)==
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

==To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949 (2015)==
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** p. 191-2

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** p. 366-7

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kershaw, Ian}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Historians from England]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Manchester]]

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945 (1983)==
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

==Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris (1999)==
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Not only, then, did Hitler do nothing to assist in the crushing of Munich’s ‘Red Republic’; he was an elected representative of his battalion during this whole period of existence. How to interpret this evidence is, nevertheless, not altogether clear. Since the Munich garrison had firmly backed the revolution since November, and again in April supported the radical move to the Räterepublik, the obvious implication must be that Hitler, in order to have been elected as a soldiers’ representative, voiced in these months the views of the socialist governments he later denounced with every fibre of his body as ‘criminal.’
** p. 118

*Ernst Toller reported that a fellow-prisoner also interned for involvement in the Räterepublik had met Hitler in a Munich barracks during the first months after the revolution, and that the latter had then been calling himself a Social Democrat. [[w:Konrad Heiden | Konrad Heiden]] remarked that, during the time of the Councils Republic, Hitler had, in heated discussions among his comrades, voiced support for the Social Democratic government against the of the Communists.
** pp. 118-119

*In a pointed remark when defending Esser in 1921 against attacks from within the party, Hitler commented: ‘Everyone was at one time a Social Democrat.’
** p. 119

*Probably in April of 1919, with the Munich ruled by the Communist Councils, [Hitler] wore, along with almost all the soldiers of the Munich garrison, the revolutionary red armband. That Hitler stood back and took no part whatsoever in the ‘liberation’ of Munich from the Räterepublik is said to have brought him later scornful reproaches from [[Ernst Röhm]].
** p. 120

*If indeed, as was later alleged, [Hitler] voiced support for the Social Democrats in preference to the Communists, it was presumably viewed as a choice of the lesser of two evils.
** p. 120

*‘German’ socialism came to be wholly associated with the extreme anti-liberal politics of the antisemitic and völkisch movement. The appeal here was mainly to the lower-middle classes—traders, craftsmen, small farmers, lower civil servants—and rooted in a combination of antisemitism, extreme nationalism, and vehement anti-capitalism (usually interpreted as ‘Jewish’ capitalism).
** p. 135

*The pronounced socialist image of the [[w:National Socialist German Workers Party| NSDAP]] that had come across strongly during the [1932] campaign… had plainly alienated middle-class support. The attacks of the Nazis had seemed to many little different from the class-warfare of the Communists. The similarity of ‘red’ and ‘brown’ varieties of ‘Bolshevism’ appeared proven by the NSDAP’s support for the Communist-inspired strike of Berlin transport workers during the days immediately preceding the election… Many shocked rural voters—a mainstay of party supporters since 1928—indeed stayed away from the polls as a result of the Nazi support for the strike… saw the Berlin transport strike as evidence that Hitler was arms in arms with Marxism… thought Hitler far on the Left.
**p. 390-391

*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
** p. 412

* On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.
** p. 412

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

==Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis (2000)==
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

==To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949 (2015)==
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** p. 191-2

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread hatred for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** p. 366-7

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kershaw, Ian}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Historians from England]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Manchester]]

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Quotes==
===''Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945'' (1983)===
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

===''Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris'' (1999)===
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Not only, then, did Hitler do nothing to assist in the crushing of Munich’s ‘Red Republic’; he was an elected representative of his battalion during this whole period of existence. How to interpret this evidence is, nevertheless, not altogether clear. Since the Munich garrison had firmly backed the revolution since November, and again in April supported the radical move to the Räterepublik, the obvious implication must be that Hitler, in order to have been elected as a soldiers’ representative, voiced in these months the views of the socialist governments he later denounced with every fibre of his body as ‘criminal.’
** p. 118

*Ernst Toller reported that a fellow-prisoner also interned for involvement in the Räterepublik had met Hitler in a Munich barracks during the first months after the revolution, and that the latter had then been calling himself a Social Democrat. [[w:Konrad Heiden | Konrad Heiden]] remarked that, during the time of the Councils Republic, Hitler had, in heated discussions among his comrades, voiced support for the Social Democratic government against the of the Communists.
** pp. 118-119

*In a pointed remark when defending Esser in 1921 against attacks from within the party, Hitler commented: ‘Everyone was at one time a Social Democrat.’
** p. 119

*Probably in April of 1919, with the Munich ruled by the Communist Councils, [Hitler] wore, along with almost all the soldiers of the Munich garrison, the revolutionary red armband. That Hitler stood back and took no part whatsoever in the ‘liberation’ of Munich from the Räterepublik is said to have brought him later scornful reproaches from [[Ernst Röhm]].
** p. 120

*If indeed, as was later alleged, [Hitler] voiced support for the Social Democrats in preference to the Communists, it was presumably viewed as a choice of the lesser of two evils.
** p. 120

*‘German’ socialism came to be wholly associated with the extreme anti-liberal politics of the antisemitic and völkisch movement. The appeal here was mainly to the lower-middle classes—traders, craftsmen, small farmers, lower civil servants—and rooted in a combination of antisemitism, extreme nationalism, and vehement anti-capitalism (usually interpreted as ‘Jewish’ capitalism).
** p. 135

*The pronounced socialist image of the [[w:National Socialist German Workers Party| NSDAP]] that had come across strongly during the [1932] campaign… had plainly alienated middle-class support. The attacks of the Nazis had seemed to many little different from the class-warfare of the Communists. The similarity of ‘red’ and ‘brown’ varieties of ‘Bolshevism’ appeared proven by the NSDAP’s support for the Communist-inspired strike of Berlin transport workers during the days immediately preceding the election… Many shocked rural voters—a mainstay of party supporters since 1928—indeed stayed away from the polls as a result of the Nazi support for the strike… saw the Berlin transport strike as evidence that Hitler was arms in arms with Marxism… thought Hitler far on the Left.
**pp. 390-391

*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
** p. 412

* On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.
** p. 412

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

===''Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis'' (2000)===
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

===''To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949'' (2015)===
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** pp. 191-192

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread hatred for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** pp. 366-367

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kershaw, Ian}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Historians from England]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Manchester]]

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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Quotes==
===''Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945'' (1983)===
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

===''Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris'' (1999)===
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Not only, then, did Hitler do nothing to assist in the crushing of Munich’s ‘Red Republic’; he was an elected representative of his battalion during this whole period of existence. How to interpret this evidence is, nevertheless, not altogether clear. Since the Munich garrison had firmly backed the revolution since November, and again in April supported the radical move to the Räterepublik, the obvious implication must be that Hitler, in order to have been elected as a soldiers’ representative, voiced in these months the views of the socialist governments he later denounced with every fibre of his body as ‘criminal.’
** p. 118

*Ernst Toller reported that a fellow-prisoner also interned for involvement in the Räterepublik had met Hitler in a Munich barracks during the first months after the revolution, and that the latter had then been calling himself a Social Democrat. [[w:Konrad Heiden | Konrad Heiden]] remarked that, during the time of the Councils Republic, Hitler had, in heated discussions among his comrades, voiced support for the Social Democratic government against that of the Communists.
** pp. 118-119

*In a pointed remark when defending Esser in 1921 against attacks from within the party, Hitler commented: ‘Everyone was at one time a Social Democrat.’
** p. 119

*Probably in April of 1919, with the Munich ruled by the Communist Councils, [Hitler] wore, along with almost all the soldiers of the Munich garrison, the revolutionary red armband. That Hitler stood back and took no part whatsoever in the ‘liberation’ of Munich from the Räterepublik is said to have brought him later scornful reproaches from [[Ernst Röhm]].
** p. 120

*If indeed, as was later alleged, [Hitler] voiced support for the Social Democrats in preference to the Communists, it was presumably viewed as a choice of the lesser of two evils.
** p. 120

*‘German’ socialism came to be wholly associated with the extreme anti-liberal politics of the antisemitic and völkisch movement. The appeal here was mainly to the lower-middle classes—traders, craftsmen, small farmers, lower civil servants—and rooted in a combination of antisemitism, extreme nationalism, and vehement anti-capitalism (usually interpreted as ‘Jewish’ capitalism).
** p. 135

*The pronounced socialist image of the [[w:National Socialist German Workers Party| NSDAP]] that had come across strongly during the [1932] campaign… had plainly alienated middle-class support. The attacks of the Nazis had seemed to many little different from the class-warfare of the Communists. The similarity of ‘red’ and ‘brown’ varieties of ‘Bolshevism’ appeared proven by the NSDAP’s support for the Communist-inspired strike of Berlin transport workers during the days immediately preceding the election… Many shocked rural voters—a mainstay of party supporters since 1928—indeed stayed away from the polls as a result of the Nazi support for the strike… saw the Berlin transport strike as evidence that Hitler was arms in arms with Marxism… thought Hitler far on the Left.
**pp. 390-391

*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
** p. 412

* On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.
** p. 412

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

===''Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis'' (2000)===
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

===''To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949'' (2015)===
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** pp. 191-192

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread hatred for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** pp. 366-367

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kershaw, Ian}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Historians from England]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Manchester]]

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      <comment>These quotes were removed because they were cherry-picking. Like most mainstream historians, Kershaw considers the Nazis to be far-right, not left-wing.</comment>
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'''[[w:Ian Kershaw|Sir Ian Kershaw]]''' (born [[29 April]] [[1943]]) is a [[Great Britain|British]] historian, now based at the [[w:University of Sheffield|University of Sheffield]].  He is a specialist in the study of [[Adolf Hitler]] and [[w:Third Reich|Nazi]] [[Germany]].

==Quotes==
===''Popular Opinion and Political Dissent in the Third Reich, Bavaria 1933-1945'' (1983)===
*I should like to think that had I been around at the time I would have been a convinced anti-Nazi engaged in the underground resistance fight. However, I know really that I would have been as confused and felt as helpless as most of the people I am writing about.
** Preface

*The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.
**[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0198219229 p. 277.]

===''Hitler 1889-1936: Hubris'' (1999)===
New York and London, W.W. Norton &amp; Company, 1999
*The question of 'historical greatness' was usually implicit in the writing of conventional biography — particularly so in the German tradition. The figure of Hitler, whose attributes — distinguished from his political aura and impact — were scarcely noble, elevating or enriching, posed self-evident problems for such a tradition.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*Hitler's power was of an extraordinary kind. He did not base his claim to power (except in a most formal sense) on his position as a party leader, or on any functional position. He derived it from what he saw as his historic mission to save Germany. His power, in other words, was [[w:Charismatic authority|'charismatic']], not institutional. It depended on the readiness of others to see 'heroic' qualities in him. And they did see those qualities — perhaps even before he himself came to believe in them.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*A history of Hitler has to be a history of his power — how he came to get it, what its character was, how he exercised it, why he was allowed to expand it to break all institutional barriers, why resistance to that power was so feeble. But these are questions to be directed at German society, not just at Hitler.
** Reflecting on Hitler

*For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.
** p. 412

===''Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis'' (2000)===
* Never in history has such ruination – physical and moral – been associated with the name of one man. That the ruination had far deeper roots and far more profound causes than the aims and actions of one man has been evident in the preceding chapters. That the previously unprobed depths of inhumanity plumbed by the Nazi regime could draw upon wide-ranging complicity at all levels of society has been equally apparent. But Hitler's name justifiably stands for all time as that of the chief instigator of the most profound collapse of civilization in modern times. The extreme form of personal rule which an ill-educated beerhall demagogue and racist bigot, a narcissistic, megalomaniac, self-styled national saviour was allowed to acquire and exercise in a modern, economically advanced, and cultured land known for its philosophers and poets, was absolutely decisive in the terrible unfolding of events in those fateful twelve years.
** p. 841

===''To Hell and Back: Europe 1914-1949'' (2015)===
* If Britain was solidly stable and France not much less so, Germany was more enigmatic. It fitted neatly into neither the model of relatively well-established democracies of the more economically advanced north-western Europe, nor the model of the newly created, fragile democracies of eastern Europe. In many ways, Germany was a hybrid. It looked both west and east.
** pp. 191-192

* The terrible famine of 1932 was still a searing memory. The heavy hand of Stalinist oppression had not receded since then. ... There was, then, good reason for the deep and widespread hatred for the Soviets among the Ukrainian population, and little wonder that the Germans were welcomed as liberators. Only downright idiocy could have converted that into even greater hatred of the Germans than the Soviets. But that is what the German conquerors achieved.
** pp. 366-367

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kershaw, Ian}}
[[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Historians from England]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Catholics from England]]
[[Category:1943 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Manchester]]

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      <text bytes="23708" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag of Georgia (U.S. state).svg|thumb|Georgia, where the peaches grow. They drink lemonade and speak real slow. ~ [[w:Rich Cronin|Richard B. Cronin]]]]
[[File:Seal of Georgia.svg|thumb|Georgia, no peace I find. Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind. ~ &quot;[[w:Georgia On My Mind|Georgia On My Mind]]&quot;]]
[[File:Georgia State Capitol.jpg|thumb|Georgia has prospered because we have refused to be divided. We have worked together, and the nation and the world have taken notice. We are where we are today, the envy of other states, because decades ago our leaders accepted change while others defied it. In the long run, it has paid us handsome dividends. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
[[File:Buckhead2007.jpg|thumb|Georgia quietly concentrated on growing our economy, on the goals that bring us together rather than those that can tear us apart, and, in the process, Georgia established itself as the leader. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
[[File:Buckhead2018.jpg|thumb|We have a great deal to be proud of as Georgians. Our history, our heritage, our state's great natural beauty. But, nothing should make us prouder than the way Georgia has led the South. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
[[File:TECHATLCL.jpg|thumb|Our people do not need to bleed the color of red Georgia clay. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
&lt;!--[[File:Atlanta_Downtown_Skyline.jpg|thumb|The children of tomorrow look to us today for leadership. If we show them the courage of our convictions, they will one day honor us as we honor the true leaders of decades past. Do your duty because that is what God requires of all of us. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
[[File:Turner_Field_2013.jpg|thumb|Lack of jobs, opportunity, good schools... Every single major urban center in America is run by Democrats... Even the place that was once my home, Atlanta... I remember the first black mayor of Atlanta, Maynard Jackson. That guy was a leader and even spoke at my high school Baccalaureate. But today, Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed has done such a bang-up job that the Atlanta Braves are moving to Cobb County! Just do the assessment yourselves, who are [[Democratic Party (United States)|the elected officials heading up the urban centers]]? And where does one find the most dire socio-economic statistics? ~ [[Allen West (politician)|Allen B. West]]]]
[[File:Coat of arms of the State of Georgia (1876).png|thumb|If there is anything we should have learned from [[w:Georgia (U.S. state)|our]] history, it is that using racial bigotry for political advantage always backfires. Sometimes in the short run, sometimes in the long run. Often both. And if you allow yourself to be dragged along in its raging current even if only briefly, you will live the rest of your life regretting your mistake. ~ [[Roy Barnes]]]]
[[File:Sherman sea 1868.jpg|thumb|We made a thoroughfare for freedom and her train, sixty miles in latitude, three hundred to the main. Treason fled before us, for resistance was in vain, while we were marching through Georgia. ~ [[w:Henry Clay Work|Henry Clay Work]]]]
[[File:Flag of the United States (1777–1795).svg|thumb|We are not influenced by any contracted or interested motives, but a general philanthropy for all mankind, of whatever climate, language, or complexion. We hereby declare our disapprobation and abhorrence of the unnatural practice of slavery. ~ [[w:Darien Georgia|Darien Committee]]]]
[[File:Flag of the United States of America (1861-1863).svg|thumb|By the original compact of government, the [[United States]] had certain rights in Georgia, which have never been relinquished and never will be. ~ [[William Tecumseh Sherman]]]]
[[File:Great Meeting Union Square.jpg|thumb|Allow the Union and [[peace]] once more to settle over your old homes at Atlanta. ~ [[William Tecumseh Sherman]]]]
[[File:View in Atlanta, Georgia.jpg|thumb|Unless there had been a separation from the North, [[slavery]] would be abolished in [[w:Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]]. ~ [[Henry L. Benning]]]]
[[File:SlavesForSaleNewOrleans1861.jpeg|thumb|What was the reason that induced [[w:Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]] to take the step of secession? This reason may be summed up in one single proposition. It was a conviction, a deep conviction on the part of [[w:Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]], that a separation from the North-was the only thing that could prevent the abolition of her slavery. ~ [[Henry L. Benning|Henry Lewis Benning]]]]
[[File:Stone mountain closer up.jpg|thumb|Bragg, Johnston, and Hood all attempted to defend Georgia, and they are ignored on Stone Mountain. So is Joe Wheeler, whose cavalry feasted off Georgians in 1864. So is John B. Gordon, wartime hero and postwar Klansman. Given Stone Mountain's history, Klansman Gordon would have been a good choice. ~ [[Brooks D. Simpson]]]]
[[File:Flag of the State of Georgia (1956-2001).svg|thumb|Social equality is impossible. The schools are not going to be mixed, come hell or high water. ~ [[w:Marvin Griffin|Samuel Marvin Griffin, Sr.]]]]--&gt;
'''[[w:Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]]''' is a [[w:U.S. state|state]] located in the [[w:southeastern United States|southern United States]]. [[w:Province of Georgia|Georgia]] was one of the [[w:Thirteen Colonies|Thirteen Colonies]] that revolted against [[Great Britain|British]] rule in the [[w:American Revolutionary War|American Revolutionary War]]. It was the last of the Thirteen Colonies to be established as a colony. It was the fourth state to ratify the [[United States Constitution]], on January 2, 1788.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== Quotes ==
===B===
*Georgia has prospered because we have refused to be divided. We have worked together, and the nation and the world have taken notice. We are where we are today, the envy of other states, because decades ago our leaders accepted change while others defied it. In the long run, it has paid us handsome dividends. 
**[[Roy Barnes]], [https://flagspot.net/flags/us-ga4.html#barnes speech to the Georgian House of Representatives] (24 January 2001)

*Our people do not need to bleed the color of red Georgia clay.
**[[Roy Barnes]], [https://flagspot.net/flags/us-ga4.html#barnes speech to the Georgian House of Representatives] (24 January 2001)

*We have a great deal to be proud of as Georgians. Our history, our heritage, our state's great natural beauty. But, nothing should make us prouder than the way Georgia has led the South by focusing on the things that unite us instead of dwelling on those that divide us.
**[[Roy Barnes]], [https://flagspot.net/flags/us-ga4.html#barnes speech to the Georgian House of Representatives] (24 January 2001)

*What will be the result to the institution of slavery, which will follow submission to the inauguration and administration of Mister Lincoln as the President of one section of the Union? My candid opinion is, that it will be the total abolition of slavery... I do not doubt, therefore, that submission to the administration of Mister Lincoln will result in the final abolition of slavery. If we fail to resist now, we will never again have the strength to resist.
**[[w:Joseph E. Brown|Joseph Brown]], [http://www.civilwarcauses.org/jbrown.htm letter] (7 December 1860), as quoted in [http://www.civilwarcauses.org/jbrown.htm ''Secession Debated''], pp. 145&amp;ndash;159

===C===

* Atlanta is one of the world's most peculiar cities. It has the requisite pointy skyscrapers and if you ask for a small Coke in a Taco Bell, it still comes in a bucket. This is America.
** Jeremy Clarkson, ''Born to be Riled'' (1999), p. 196

*Where Gladys Knight took the ''Midnight Train''; the birthplace of [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Martin Luther King]].
**[[w:Field Mob|Darion Crawford]], [http://genius.com/Field-mob-georgia-lyrics &quot;Georgia&quot;] (9 October 2005), ''Light Poles and Pine Trees'' (20 June 2006), New York City: Geffen Records.

*Georgia, where the peaches grow. They drink lemonade and speak real slow.
**[[w:Rich Cronin|Richard B. Cronin]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaWF_FrMRpY &quot;Summer Girls&quot;] (1999), ''LFO'', Arista Records

===D===
* The town in Georgia's got a law on the books / Says if we all got guns then we won't have crooks / Now what could make them think that way?
** [[w:The Dead Milkmen|The Dead Milkmen]], “Right Wing Pigeons“, ''[[w:Big Lizard in My Backyard|Big Lizard in My Backyard]]'' (1985)

*I do not think we have to discriminate against anyone to protect the faith based community in Georgia of which my family and I are a part of for all of our lives.
**[[Nathan Deal]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/28/georgia-governors-wise-veto-of-anti-lgbt-bill-still-raises-a-red-flag/ remarks on HB 757] (March 2016)

===G===
* Other arms reach out to me&lt;br&gt; Other eyes smile tenderly&lt;br&gt; Still in peaceful dreams I see&lt;br&gt; The road leads back to you.&lt;br&gt; Georgia, oh Georgia, no peace I find...&lt;br&gt; Just an old sweet song &lt;br&gt; Keeps Georgia on my mind.
** &quot;[[w:Georgia On My Mind|Georgia On My Mind]]&quot; (1960), lyrics by [[w:Stuart Gorrell|Stuart Gorrell]] and [[w:Hoagy Carmichael|Hoagy Carmichael]]

*The people of Georgia having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates, and the world, the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slaveholding confederate States, with reference to the subject of African slavery... The party of Lincoln, called the Republican party, under its present name and organization is of recent origin. It is admitted to be an anti-slavery party, while it attracts to itself by its creed, the scattered advocates of exploded political heresies, of condemned theories in political economy, the advocates of commercial restrictions, of protection, of special privileges, of waste and corruption in the administration of Government; anti-slavery is its mission and its purpose.
**''[[s:Georgia Declaration of Causes of Secession|Georgia Declaration of Causes of Secession]]'' (January 1861)

*Social equality is impossible. The schools are not going to be mixed, come hell or high water.
**[[w:Marvin Griffin|Samuel Marvin Griffin, Sr.]], as quoted in [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,860992,00.html &quot;The Strategists&quot;] (12 July 1954), ''Time''

===H===
*Started in Atlanta, then I spread out with it. South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi. On to North Carolina, Philadelphia, and Virginia. From down in Miami where it's warm in the winter. On up to Minnesota where it storms in the winter.
**[[w:T.I.|Clifford Harris]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/djkhaled/wetakinover.html &quot;We Takin' Over&quot;]

*The presidential election of 1864, occurring after the spectacular Union military successes at Mobile Bay and in Georgia and the Shenandoah Valley, reaffirmed the northern majority's commitment to the suppression of the rebellion in the South and the restoration of the Union without slavery. Arguably, Abraham Lincoln's victory owed more to the Northern rejection of the Democratic Party's war-failure platform and its call for an armistice preparatory to a national peace convention than to the voters' confidence in the president's leadership.
**[[w:William C. Harris|William Harris]], as quoted in [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/j/jala/2629860.0021.104?rgn=main;view=fulltext &quot;The Hampton Roads Peace Conference: A Final Test of Lincoln's Presidential Leadership&quot;] (2000), ''Journal of the Abraham Lincoln Association'', pp. 30-61

*The three States of Georgia, Florida and South Carolina, comprising the military department of the south, having deliberately declared themselves no longer under the protection of the United States of America, and having taken up arms against the said United States, it becomes a military necessity to declare them under martial law. This was accordingly done on the 25th day of April, 1862. Slavery and martial law in a free country are altogether incompatible; the persons in these three States — Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina— heretofore held as slaves, are therefore declared forever free.
**[[David Hunter]], [http://www.freedmen.umd.edu/hunter.htm#HUNTER General Order No. 11] (9 May 1862), Department of the South

===K===
*Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
**[[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], &quot;I Have A Dream&quot; (1963), Washington, D.C.

===J===
*We're on the grind in Georgia, all the time. It ain't nothing no my mind, but Georgia.
**[[w:Field Mob|Shawn T. Johnson]],  [http://genius.com/Field-mob-georgia-lyrics &quot;Georgia&quot;] (9 October 2005), ''Light Poles and Pine Trees'' (20 June 2006), New York City: Geffen Records
&lt;!--
===L===
*[[Alexander H. Stephens|Alexander Stephens]] was, but of course, a Democrat. Stephens, a longtime member of the House from Georgia, left the splintering Whig Party to join the Democrats precisely because of his views on race. After getting out of federal prison in the post-Civil War era, imprisoned for his role in the rebellion, Stephens went back to Congress as a Democrat and later was elected governor of Georgia.
**[[w:Jeffrey Lord|Jeffrey Lord]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150806153347/https://www.conservativereview.com/commentary/2015/02/will-gop-demand-obama-apology-for-slavery &quot;Will GOP Demand Obama Apology for Slavery?&quot;] (10 February 2015), ''Conservative Review''
--&gt;
===M===
*Calling up my homeboy, Daddy Ray. Hey Ray, what's up with the girls in GA?
**[[Sir Mix-a-Lot]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gI9I7GXdA4&amp;feature=youtu.be &quot;Jump on It&quot;] (1996), ''Return of the Bumpasaurus'', Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Regent Music Corporation
&lt;!--
===R===
*I bear about me daily the keenest sense of their weight, and that feeling prompts me now to lift my voice for the first time in this council chamber of the nation; and, sir, I stand today on this floor to appeal for protection from the strong arm of the government for her loyal children, irrespective of color and race, who are citizens of the southern states, and particularly of the state of Georgia. I am well aware, sir, that the idea is abroad that an antagonism exists between the whites and blacks, that that race which the nation raised from the degradation of slavery, and endowed with the full and unqualified rights and privileges of citizenship, are intent upon power, at whatever price it can be gained. It has been the well-considered purpose and aim of a class not confined to the south to spread this charge over the land, and their efforts are as vigorous today to educate the people of this nation into that belief as they were at the close of the war. It was not uncommon to find this same class, even during the rebellion, prognosticating a servile war.
**[[Hiram Rhodes Revels]], [http://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/resources/pdf/RevelsGeorgia.pdf speech to the senate] (16 March 1870)
--&gt;

===S===

* In 1956, as a reaction to the requirement to integrate, the Georgia Assembly changed the state flag to incorporate the Confederate Battle Flag. As Denmark Groover, the legislator who guided the bill to passage, said at the time, &quot;The Confederate symbol was added mostly out of defiance to federal integration orders.&quot; While I lived in Georgia, the white supremacist Confederate Battle Flag dominated the state flag. In 2003, Georgia changed its flag, losing the Confederate Battle Flag and returning to a version of the flag first introduced in 1879. The current flag is an homage to the first Confederate national flag, the Stars and Bars. White southerners continue to focus on a four-year period when they fought a rebellion to create a slave republic and lost badly.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 81

* While lynch mobs in Virginia murdered 84 people according to exhaustive reporting done by the Equal Justice Initiative, my adopted home state of Georgia was far more violent. Georgia lynch mobs murdered 589 people between 1877 and 1950. Most of the attacks in Northern Virginia and Walton County came after accusations of Black men raping white women. Several lynchings occurred because African American men did not act in a docile manner, upsetting the racial conventions demanded by white society.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 84

* The sustained legal campaign of subjugation, called Jim Crow, plus targeted law enforcement, lack of education resources, and limited economic opportunity, resulted in &quot;the Great Migration.&quot; Starting in the first decade of the twentieth century, more than a million African Americans left the racial violence and poverty of the South for the industrial cities of the North and West. In 1900, Georgia's Black population was over 47 percent of the total. By 1970, the figure had dropped to just over 25 percent. In the 1910 census, Walton County recorded 25,393 people. The next time it would reach that level was in the 1980 census, the year I graduated from high school. By then, Walton County benefited from its proximity to a booming Atlanta. The racial terror and Jim Crow laws decreased Georgia's population and retarded its economic potential for generations. Racism isn't just morally wrong; it's economically stupid.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 90-91

*It is unknown how many slaves were freed in Virginia as a reward for military service, but in neighboring Georgia, Austin Dabney was the only one. Purchased by the legislature from his owner, he also received a land grant as well as a federal pension.
**Robert A. Selig, [https://web.archive.org/web/20141008220806/http://amrevmuseum.org/reflections/african-americans-continental-army-and-state-militias-during-american-war-independence &quot;African-Americans in the Continental Army and the State Militias During the American War of Independence&quot;], ''Reflections''--&gt;

* I can make this march, and I will make Georgia howl!
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], telegram to General U.S. Grant (1864), as quoted in ''Conflict and Compromise: The Political Economy of Slavery, Emancipation, and The American Civil War'' (1989), by Roger L. Ransom

*If the people raise a howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that [[war]] is war, and not popularity-seeking. If they want peace, they and their relatives must stop the war.
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=HzBCAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA367 Letter to Henry W. Halleck] (September 1864)

*By the original compact of government, the [[United States]] had certain rights in Georgia, which have never been relinquished and never will be... Allow the Union and [[peace]] once more to settle over your old homes at Atlanta.
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], [[s:Letter to James M. Calhoun, et al., September 12, 1864|letter to the members of the city council of the City of Atlanta]] (12 September 1864)

*I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the City of Savannah, with one hundred and fifty guns and plenty of ammunition, also about twenty-five thousand bales of cotton.
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], as quoted in telegraph to Abraham Lincoln (December 1864), as quoted in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0940450658 ''Southern Storm: Sherman's March to the Sea''] (2008), by Noah Andre Trudeau, New York: HarperCollins, p. 508

*Still on the whole the campaign is the best, cleanest and most satisfactory of the war. I have received the most fulsome praise of all men from the President down, but I fear the world will jump to the wrong conclusion that because I am in Atlanta the work is done. Far from it. We must kill three hundred thousand I have told of so often, and the further they run the harder for us to get them.
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=GGbkHUePtVwC&amp;pg=PA211&amp;lpg=PA211&amp;dq=%22Let+Christians+use+all+their+influence+to+have+justice+done+to+the%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=xzMnONRk_q&amp;sig=GM20pEdkX6KI-_kXoMv2FQY7cE4&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAGoVChMIp9vdhJbhxwIVi2g-Ch0koQbz#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Let%20Christians%20use%20all%20their%20influence%20to%20have%20justice%20done%20to%20the%22&amp;f=false letter to wife]

===W===
*I was watching the news reports from Baltimore and hearing all the condemnations from some about being kept down and the lack of jobs, opportunity, good schools; then why do these blacks keep voting for the same people? And this isn't a phenomenon isolated to Baltimore. Every single major urban center in America is run by Democrats; more specifically, liberal progressives, black or white. The morass that became Detroit. The killing fields of Chicago. The depravity of Washington, D.C. The shame of South Dallas. And yes, even the place that was once my home, Atlanta, even with all the successful black entertainers. Now, I remember the first black mayor of Atlanta, Maynard Jackson. That guy was a leader and even spoke at my high school Baccalaureate. But today, Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed has done such a bang-up job that the Atlanta Braves are moving to Cobb County! Just do the assessment yourselves, who are [[Democratic Party (United States)|the elected officials heading up the urban centers]]? And where does one find the most dire socio-economic statistics?
** [[Allen West (politician)|Allen B. West]], [http://blackrepublican.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2015-05-29T13:38:00-04:00&amp;max-results=7&amp;start=7&amp;by-date=false &quot;The dirty little secret no one wants to admit about Baltimore&quot;] (18 May 2015), ''National Black Republican Association''.

*Hurrah! Hurrah! [[Emancipation|We bring the jubilee!]] Hurrah! Hurrah! [[w:Flag of the United States|The flag]] [[Emancipation|that makes you free]]... So we made a thoroughfare for freedom and her train, sixty miles in latitude, three hundred to the main. Treason fled before us, for resistance was in vain, while we were marching through Georgia... Yes and there were Union men who wept with joyful tears, when they saw the honored flag they had not seen for years. Hardly could they be restrained from breaking forth in cheers, while we were marching through Georgia.
**[[w:Henry Clay Work|Henry Clay Work]], &quot;[[w:Marching Through Georgia|Marching Through Georgia]]&quot; (1865)

=== Georgia runoff elections 2020/2021 ===
&lt;small&gt;(in Chronological order)&lt;/small&gt;

* The management of Georgia elections has become an embarrassment for our state
** [[Raphael Warnock]] &amp;  [[w:Kelly Loeffler|Kelly Loeffler]] according to [[https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/09/politics/georgia-runoff-key-dates/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/09/politics/georgia-runoff-key-dates/index.html] ( 9 November 2020)

* RINOS @BrianKempGA, @GeoffDuncanGA, &amp; Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, will be solely responsible for the potential loss of our two GREAT Senators from Georgia, @sendavidperdue &amp; @KLoeffler. Won’t call a Special Session or check for Signature Verification! People are ANGRY!
** Quoted by {{citation |date=2020-12-07 |title=Trump Says 'RINOS' Kemp, Raffensperger 'Solely Responsible' If Loeffler, Perdue Lose Election | author= Jeffery Martin | periodical=Newsweek | url=https://www.newsweek.com/trump-says-rinos-kemp-raffensperger-solely-responsible-if-loeffler-perdue-lose-election-1553024}}

* Doorknock for Warnock vote your [https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/ass+off oss off]
** Campaign slogan according to   [[w:Peter Doocy|Peter Doocy]]  on  [[w:Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace|Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace]], (January 3, 2020)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Wikivoyage-inline|Georgia (state)}}

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      <text bytes="33489" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'' (film)}}

'''''[[w:Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (film)|Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone]]''''' (released in the United States as '''''Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'''''&lt;!--presumably because Americans would not know what it means--&gt;) is a [[w:2001 in film|2001 film]] about a young boy with a great destiny, rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, who proves his worth while attending [[w:Hogwarts|Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry]].
:''Directed by [[w:Chris Columbus|Chris Columbus]]. Screenplay by [[w:Steve Kloves|Steve Kloves]], based on the [[Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone|book of the same name]] by [[J. K. Rowling]].''
{{center|'''Let the Magic Begin.''' ([[#taglines|taglines]])}}

[[File:Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey by night USJ.JPG|thumb|&quot;This boy will be famous! There won't be a child in our world that doesn't know his name!&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;Exactly. He's far better off growing up away from all of that... Until he is ready.&quot;]]
[[File:Slytherin.png|thumb|You'll soon find out some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.]]
[[File:The Making of Harry Potter 29-05-2012 (7528792890).jpg|thumb|&quot;All students must be equipped with a one standard size two pewter cauldron, and may bring, if they desire, either an owl, a cat, or a toad. Can we find all this in London?&quot; &lt;br&gt;&quot;If you know where to go.&quot;]]
[[File:Harry Potter wordmark.svg|thumb|You're a wizard, Harry.]]

== Albus Dumbledore ==
* '''SIIIIIIIIILENCE!''' Everyone will please not panic!

== Severus Snape ==

* There will be no wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few... who possess the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death. Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough- to not pay attention.

==Dialogue==
:'''Dumbledore''': ''[to the cat]'' I should have known that you would be here... Professor McGonagall.
:''[The cat turns into McGonagall.]''
:'''McGonagall''': Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus?
:'''Dumbledore''': I'm afraid so, Professor. The good and the bad.
:'''McGonagall''': And the boy?
:'''Dumbledore''': Hagrid is bringing him.
:'''McGonagall''': Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?
:'''Dumbledore''': Ah, Professor. I would trust Hagrid with my life.
:''[Hagrid appears on a flying motorcycle]''
:'''Hagrid''': Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall.
:'''Dumbledore''': No problems, I trust, Hagrid?
:'''Hagrid''': No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. ''[hands Dumbledore a bundle &amp;ndash; Harry]'' Try not to wake him. There you go.
:''[Dumbledore takes Harry and heads for the Dursleys]''
:'''McGonagall''': Albus, do you really think it's safe, leaving him with these people? I've watched them all day, they're the worst sort of... ''Muggles'' imaginable. They really are&amp;ndash;
:'''Dumbledore''': The only family he has.
:'''McGonagall''': This boy will be famous! There won't be a child in our world that doesn't know his name!
:'''Dumbledore''': Exactly. He's far better off growing up away from all of that... until he is ready. ''[Dumbledore places Harry on the doorstep. Hagrid snivels.]'' There, there, Hagrid. It's not really goodbye, after all. ''[Hagrid nods. Dumbledore places a letter on Harry.]'' Good luck, Harry Potter.

----
:'''Aunt Petunia''': Up! Get up! Now! 
:'''Dudley''': Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo!
:'''Aunt Petunia''': Here he comes the birthday boy!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Happy birthday son.
:'''Aunt Petunia''': Why don't you just cook the breakfast and try not to burn anything.
:'''Harry''': Yes Aunt Petunia.
:'''Aunt Petunia''': I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Hurry up! Bring my coffee boy!
:'''Harry''': Yes Uncle Vernon.
:'''Aunt Petunia''': Aren't they wonderful darling?
:'''Dudley''': ''[about his gifts]'' How many are there?
:'''Uncle Vernon''': 36, counted them myself.
:'''Dudley''': 36?! But last year, last year I had 37!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': I mean&amp;ndash; Yes, yes. Well, some are a quite a bit bigger than last year's &amp;ndash;
:'''Dudley''': I don't care how big they are!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Now, now, now, this is what we're going to do. Is that when we go out we're going to buy you 2 new presents. How's that pumpkin?

----
:'''Aunt Petunia''': It should be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking forward to it.
:'''Uncle Vernon''': I'm warning you now boy. Any funny business, any at all and you won't have any meals for a week. Get in.

----
:''[Dudley and Vernon are banging on the glass at a snake habitat at the zoo]''
:'''Dudley''': Make it move.
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Move.
:'''Dudley''': Move!!
:'''Harry''': He's asleep!
:'''Dudley''': He's boring.
:'''Harry''': Sorry about him he doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day watching people press their ugly faces in on you. ''[the snake looks straight at Harry]'' Can you hear me? ''[the snake nods]'' It's just I've never talked to a snake before. Do you… Do you talk to people often? You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there? Did you miss your family? ''[the snake shakes its head &quot;no&quot;]'' I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents either.
:'''Dudley''': ''[rushing over and shoving Harry out of the way]'' Mummy, Dad, come here; you won't ''believe'' what this snake is doing! ''[the entire pane of glass vanishes; Dudley stumbles and falls in]'' Woah! Woah! Ah!
:''[The snake slithers out and looks at Harry]''
:'''Snake''': Thanks.
:'''Harry''': Any time.
:''[The snake makes its escape, heading for the door]''
:'''Crowd''': Snake! Ahh!
:''[Dudley gets up, but panics when he finds the glass has reappeared]''
:'''Dudley''': Mum! Mummy! Help me!
:'''Aunt Petunia''': My darling boy! How did you get in there! Who did this? How did you get in there? Is there a snake?

----
:'''Aunt Petunia''': It's all right, sweetheart! We'll get you out of these terrible clothes!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': What happened?!?!
:'''Harry''':  I swear, I don't know!! One minute the glass was there then it was gone, it was like magic!
:''[Vernon shoves Harry into the cupboard under the stairs and slams the door]''
:'''Uncle Vernon''': There's no such thing as magic!!

----
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Oh Marge is ill. Ate a funny whelk.
:'''Dudley''': Dad! Look! Harry's got a letter!
:'''Harry''': Hey give it back! It's mine!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Yours? Who'd be writing to you?

----
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Fine day [[Sunday]]. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?
:'''Harry''': ''[when Dudley doesn't answer]'' Because there’s no post on Sundays?
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Right you are, Harry! ''[takes cookie from Harry]'' No post on Sundays. Hah! No blasted letters today! No, sir! Not one single bloody letter! Not one! No sir, not one blasted, miserable- -
:'''Dudley''': Make it stop, please!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Stop it!
:'''Dudley''': Mummy what's happening?
:'''Uncle Vernon''': Give me that! Give me that letter!
:'''Harry''': Get off! They're my letters! Let go of me!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': That's it! We're going away, far away! Where they can't find us!
:'''Dudley''': Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?!

----
:''[Someone begins banging on the door as if to knock it in]''
:'''Uncle Vernon''': ''[nervously, wielding a double-barreled shotgun]'' Who's there?
:''[The door breaks off its hinges and an enormous, towering man steps inside]''
:'''Hagrid''': Sorry 'bout that. ''[Picks the door up and puts it back]''
:'''Uncle Vernon''': I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering!
:'''Hagrid''': ''[contemptuously]'' Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. ''[grabs the shotgun and bends the barrels; Vernon fires into the ceiling. Hagrid looks at Dudley]'' Well, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along then I would have expected; particularly around the middle.
:'''Dudley''': I'm not... I'm not Harry.
:'''Harry''': I am.
:'''Hagrid''': Well of course you are! Got something for you. Afraid I might have sat on it at some point but I imagine it'll taste fine just the same. Baked it myself, words and all.
:'''Harry''': Thank you!
:'''Hagrid''': It's not everyday your young man turns 11 now it is?
:'''Harry''': Excuse me, but, who are you?
:'''Hagrid''': Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course, you know all about Hogwarts.
:'''Harry''': Sorry, no.
:'''Hagrid''': No? Blimey, Harry, did you ever wonder where your Mum and Dad learned it all?
:'''Harry''': Learnt what?
:'''Hagrid''': You're a wizard, Harry.
:'''Harry''': I&amp;ndash; I'm a what?
:'''Hagrid''': A wizard! And a thumpin' good 'un, I'll wager, once you've been trained up a bit.
:'''Harry''': I think you've made a mistake. I mean, I... can't be a... a wizard. I mean, I'm... just... Harry. Just Harry.
:'''Hagrid''': Well, &quot;Just Harry&quot;... did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared? Um Hum.
:'''Harry''': Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
:'''Uncle Vernon''': He will not be going! We swore when we took him in that we would put a stop to all of this rubbish!
:'''Harry''': ''[to the Dursleys; angrily after Vernon refuses Harry's entrance to Hogwarts because they swore when they took him in to &quot;put a stop to all this rubbish&quot;]'' You ''knew?'' You knew all along, and you never told me?!
:'''Aunt Petunia''': ''[bitterly]'' Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being what she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. &quot;We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful?&quot; I was the only one who saw her for what she was: a ''freak''! And then she met that Potter, and she had you, and I knew you'd be the same. Just as strange, just as... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up, and we got landed with you.
:'''Harry''': &quot;Blown up&quot;? You told me my parents died in a car crash!
:'''Hagrid''': ''[shocked and angry]'' A car crash?! A car crash killed Lily and James Potter?!
:'''Aunt Petunia''': ''[sheepishly]'' We had to say something...
:'''Hagrid''': It's an outrage! It's a scandal!
:'''Uncle Vernon''': He will not be going!
:'''Hagrid''': ''[somewhat amused]'' Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's gonna stop him, are ya?
:'''Harry''': &quot;Muggle&quot;?
:'''Hagrid''': Non-magic folk. ''[to the Dursleys, angrily]'' This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the world, ''and'' he'll be under the finest headmaster that Hogwarts has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore. ''[In the meantime, Hagrid is unaware of Dudley stealing the cake he made for Harry]''
:'''Uncle Vernon''': I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!
:''[Visibly angered, Hagrid whips out his umbrella and points it threateningly at Uncle Vernon.]''
:'''Hagrid''': ''Never''... insult Albus Dumbledore... in front of me. :''[Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake and points his umbrella at him. A pig's tail appears. The Dursleys scream and run out of the room]'': I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speaking I'm not supposed to do magic.
:'''Harry''': Ok.
:'''Hagrid''': We're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, of course.

----
:'''Harry''': All students must be equipped with a one standard size two pewter cauldron, and may bring, if they desire, either an owl, a cat, or a toad. Can we find all this in London?
:'''Hagrid''': If you know where to go.

----
:'''Ollivander''': Curious... Very curious...
:'''Harry''': Sorry... but what's curious?
:'''Ollivander''': I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. And it just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand, gave another feather. Just one other. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand, when its brother gave you that scar.
:'''Harry''': ...And who owned that wand?
:'''Ollivander''': We do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why. But. I think it ''is'' clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. ''Terrible'', yes... but great.

----
:'''Harry''': He killed my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. ''[points to his scar. Hagrid looks hesitant to respond]'' You know, Hagrid, I know you do.
:'''Hagrid''': ''[sighs and leans towards him]'' First &amp;ndash; and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important &amp;ndash; not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. And a few years ago, there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V&amp;ndash; ''[becomes tense]'' His name was V&amp;ndash;
:'''Harry''': Maybe if you wrote it down?
:'''Hagrid''': Nah, I can't spell it. All right... ''[in a whisper]'' Voldemort.
:'''Harry''': Voldemort?
:'''Hagrid''': ''[frantically]'' Shh! It was dark times, Harry, ''dark'' times. ''[As Hagrid narrates, we see a flashback of a robed, hooded figure - Voldemort - breaking into Harry's parents' home and striking his mother dead; it ends just as Voldemort aims his wand at baby Harry]'' Voldemort started to gather some followers; brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill 'em. Nobody. Not one. Except you.
:'''Harry''': Me? Voldemort tried to kill... me?
:'''Hagrid''': Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on yer forehead. A mark like that only comes from bein' touched by a curse, and an evil curse at that.
:'''Harry''': And what happened to Vol&amp;ndash; To You-Know-Who?
:'''Hagrid''': Well, some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's still out there somewhere, too tired to carry on. But one thing's fer certain: Somethin' about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous. That's why everyone knows your name. You're the Boy Who Lived.

----
:'''Hermione''': Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost one.
:'''Ron''': No.
:'''Hermione''': ''[sees Ron attempting magic]'' Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.
:'''Ron''': ''[clears throat]'' Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow... turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!
:''[Nothing happens]''
:'''Hermione''': Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good is it? ''[Ron gives Harry an indignant and exasperated look]'' Of course, I've only tried a few simple ones myself, but they've all worked for me. For example, ''[sits in front of Harry]'' Oculus Reparo.
:''[She waves her wand and Harry's glasses are immediately fixed.]'' That's better, isn't it? ''[realizes who he is]'' Holy cricket, you're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger. ''[looks at Ron]'' And... you are?
:'''Ron''': ''[muffled]'' Um, Ron Weasley.
:'''Hermione''': ''[chagrined]'' Pleasure. You two best change into robes, I expect we'll be arriving soon. ''[leaves, but turns around to face Ron]'' You've got dirt on your nose, by the way. Did you know? Just there.
:''[Ron, annoyed, rubs his nose and finds she is right]''

----
:'''Draco Malfoy''': So it's true, then. What they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. ''[All the first years murmur in excitement; Draco indicates two boys next to him]'' This is Crabbe, and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. ''[Ron sniggers; Draco turns to glare at him]'' Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand-me-down-robe? You must be a Weasley. ''[turns back to Harry]'' You'll soon find out some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. ''[offers his hand]''
:'''Harry''': ''[coldly]'' I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.

----
:''[Harry and Ron run into McGonagall's classroom.]''
:'''Ron''': Made it! Can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late?
:''[The cat leaps from the table and turns into McGonagall, who goes over to Harry and Ron.]''
:'''Ron''': That was bloody brilliant!
:'''McGonagall''': Oh, thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocket watch? That way, one of you might be on time.
:'''Harry''': We got lost.
:'''McGonagall''': Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.
:''[As McGonagall goes over to her table, Harry and Ron sit next to each other.]''

----
:''[Harry has just joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team.]''
:'''Ron''': Fred and George are on the team too. Beaters.
:'''Fred''': Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too badly! Can't make any promises. Rough game, Quidditch.
:'''George''': Brutal! But no one's died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally ''[Harry and Ron walk off]'' but they'll turn up in a month or two!

----
:''[After their fiasco with a three-headed dog.]''
:'''Ron''': What do they think they're doing? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?
:'''Hermione''': You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?
:'''Ron''': I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice. They were three!
:'''Hermione''': It was standing on a trapdoor. Which means, it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.
:'''Harry''': Guarding something?
:'''Hermione''': That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled. ''[Goes into her dormitory]''
:'''Ron''': She ''needs'' to sort out her priorities.

----
:'''Oliver''': ''[Leading Harry to practice, carrying a trunk]'' Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each team has seven players: Three Chasers, two Beaters, one Keeper, and a Seeker. That's you. ''[Opens trunk and takes a round ball with four indents in it out]'' There are three kinds of balls. ''[Tosses it to Harry]'' This one's called the Quaffle. The Chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. ''[Points to three hoops on opposite end of field.]'' The Keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. With me so far?
:'''Harry''': I think so. ''[Tosses Quaffle back to Oliver]'' What are those? ''[Acknowledges two other balls]''
:'''Oliver''': Oh. ''[Takes out a bat, a little shorter that a baseball bat]'' You better take this. ''[Hands bat to Harry, then unlatches one of the balls from trunk. It shoots up into the air, then zooms back down]'' Careful now, it's comin' back. ''[Harry whacks the ball with the bat. The ball zooms off in another direction right though the gap of a statue that has crossed swords]'' Not bad, Potter. You'd make a fair Beater. ''[The ball comes back heading directly for Oliver]'' Uh-oh. ''[It whacks him in the chest, knocking him over. He fights with it to get it back in the trunk. He eventually succeeds, and locks it back in]''
:'''Harry''': What was that thing?
:'''Oliver''': ''[Panting]'' Bludger. Nasty little [[w:bugger|buggers]]. But you... ''[Points to Harry]''...are a Seeker. ''[Takes out walnut-sized gold ball with silver wings]'' The only thing I want you to worry about is ''this''. The Golden Snitch. ''[Hands it to Harry]''
:'''Harry''': I like this ball.
:'''Oliver''': Ah, you like it now. Just wait. It's wicked fast and damn near impossible to see.
:'''Harry''': What do I do with it?
:'''Oliver''': You catch it... before the other team's Seeker. You catch this, the game's over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.

----
:''[Talking about Snape after the Quidditch match when he was accused of jinxing Harry's broom]''
:'''Hagrid''': Nonsense! Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?
:'''Harry''': Who knows? Why was he trying to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween?
:'''Hagrid''': Who told you about Fluffy?
:'''Ron''': &quot;Fluffy&quot;?!
:'''Hermione''': That thing has a name?
:'''Hagrid''': Of course, he's got a name! He's mine! I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. The I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the&amp;ndash;
:'''Harry''': Yes?
:'''Hagrid''': Shouldn't have said that. No more questions! Don't ask any more questions. That's top-secret, that is.
:'''Harry''': But, Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it.
:'''Hagrid''': Codswallop! Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher!
:'''Hermione''': Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one. I've read all about them. You've got to keep eye contact and Snape wasn't blinking.
:'''Harry''': Exactly.

----
:'''Hagrid''': Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me.
:'''Ron''': ''[In a timid, high voice]'' Okay.
:'''Hagrid''': And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy.
:''[Harry nods]''
:'''Malfoy''': Okay, then I get Fang.
:'''Hagrid''': Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward.
:''[Malfoy and Harry look over at Fang, who whimpers]''

----
:'''Firenze''' Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here. The Forest is not safe at this time, especially for you.
:'''Harry''': But what was that thing you saved me from?
:'''Firenze''': A monstrous creature. ''[indicates the dead Unicorn]'' It is a terrible crime to slay a Unicorn. Drinking a Unicorn's blood will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price, for you have slain something so pure, that from the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life.
:'''Harry''': But who would choose such a life?
:'''Firenze''': Can you think of no one?
:'''Harry''': Do you mean to say, that-that thing that killed the Unicorn, that was drinking its blood... that was Voldemort?
:'''Firenze''': Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment, Mr. Potter?
:'''Harry''': The Sorcerer's Stone.
:''[Hagrid, Ron and Hermione appear]''
:'''Hermione''': Harry!
:'''Hagrid''': Hello there, Firenze. See you've met our young Mr. Potter. You alright there, Harry?
:'''Harry''': ''[nods]'' Mm-hm.
:'''Firenze''': Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck.

----
:''[Snape has approached Harry, Ron and Hermione]''
:'''Snape''': Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?
:'''Hermione''': We... ''[Snape looks to her, expecting an answer]''...we were just...
:'''Snape''': You ought to be more careful. People may think you're...''[Snape notices Harry eyeing him cautiously. He glares sharply at Harry]''...up to something.

----
:''[Harry enters a room and discovers Quirrell in front of the Mirror of Erised]''
:'''Harry''': You? No, it can't&amp;ndash; it can't be. Snape, he was&amp;ndash; he was the one who&amp;ndash;
:'''Quirrell''': Yes. He does seem the type, doesn't he? But next to him, who would suspect p-p-p-poor st-st-st-stuttering Professor Quirrell?
:'''Harry''': But that day, during the Quidditch match, Snape tried to kill me.
:'''Quirrell''': No, dear boy. ''I'' tried to kill you! And trust me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fire and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded! Even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.
:'''Harry''': Snape was... trying to ''save'' me?
:'''Quirrell''': I knew you were a danger to me right from the off, especially after Halloween.
:'''Harry''': Th-th-then ''you'' let the troll in!
:'''Quirrell''': Very good, Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, ''wasn't'' fooled. While everyone else was running about the dungeons, he went to the third floor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He barely left me alone. But he doesn't understand - I'm ''never'' alone. Never. Now, what does this mirror do? Yes, I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone. But how do I get it?!
:'''Voldemort''': Use the boy.
:'''Quirrell''': COME HERE, POTTER!!! ''NOW!!!'' ''[Harry walks to Quirrell and the Mirror of Erised]'' Tell me. What do you see? ''[Harry sees his reflection take out the Sorcerer's Stone, then places it into his pocket. He realizes that it actually is in his pocket.]'' What is it, what do you see?!
:'''Harry''': I&amp;ndash; I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the House Cup.
:'''Voldemort''': ''[in a voiceover]'' He lies.
:'''Quirrell''': '''TELL THE TRUTH!!! WHAT DO YOU SEE?!'''
:'''Voldemort''': Let me speak to him.
:'''Quirrell''': Master, you are not strong enough!
:'''Voldemort''': I have strength enough for this...
:''[Quirrell unwraps his turban, revealing a hideous face on the back of his head; Voldemort.]''
:'''Voldemort''': Harry Potter. We meet again.
:'''Harry''': Voldemort?
:'''Voldemort''': Yes. You see what I've become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another, a mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something that, conveniently enough, lies in your pocket. ''[Harry attempts to escape]'' '''Stop him!!''' ''[Quirrell blocks Harry by snapping his fingers, causing a large fire to block off the entrance]'' Don't be a fool. Why suffer a horrific death, when you can join me and live?
:'''Harry''': Never!
:'''Voldemort''': ''[laughs]'' Bravery. Your parents had it too. Tell me, Harry... would you like to see your mother and father again? ''[Harry's parents appear in the Mirror of Erised]'' Together, we can bring them back. All I ask is for something in return. ''[Harry pulls the Stone out of his pocket.]'' That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil. There is only power... and those too weak to seek it. Together, we can do extraordinary things. Just give me the Stone!
:''[Harry's parents disappear from the mirror]''
:'''Harry''': ''[screams]'' '''You ''liar!!'''''
:'''Voldemort''': '''Kill him!!''' ''[Quirrell flies through the air and begins choking Harry. Harry tries to reach for the Stone, but grabs Quirrell's wrist, and suddenly makes it immediately begin to burn and turn into ash. Quirrell gasps, screams, and lets go of Harry in fear and he starts to panic]'' 
:'''Quirrell''': What is this magic?!
:'''Voldemort''': Fool! Get the Stone!
:''[Quirrell reaches for the Stone with his other hand. Harry puts his hands on Quirrell's face, causing his face to burn and turn to ash too. Quirrell screams in agony, and turns to ash, until there is nothing left but his robes. Harry grabs the Stone. Behind him, the spirit of Voldemort rushes at Harry, knocks him out and escapes while the camera pans towards the Stone.]''

----
:''[Harry wakes up in the hospital wing, puts on his glasses, and smiled to see his presents on the table]''
:'''Dumbledore''': Good afternoon, Harry. ''[sees candies and cards on table]'' Ah, tokens from your admirers.
:'''Harry''': Admirers?
:'''Dumbledore''': What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows. Ah, I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs.
:'''Harry''': Ron was here? Is he alright? What about Hermione?
:'''Dumbledore''': Fine. They're both just fine.
:'''Harry''': But what happened to the Stone?
:'''Dumbledore''': Relax, dear boy. The Stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas and I have had a little chat, and agreed it was best, all around.
:'''Harry''': But, then Flamel... he'll die, won't he?
:'''Dumbledore''': He has enough elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he will die.
:'''Harry''': How is it I got the Stone, Sir? One minute I was standing in the Mirror, and the next...
:'''Dumbledore''': Ah, you see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone, find it, but not use it, would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me, that is saying something.
:'''Harry''': Does that mean, with the Stone gone that is, that Voldemort can never come back?
:'''Dumbledore''': Ah, I'm afraid... there are ways in which he can return. Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? ''[Harry shakes his head]'' It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark. ''[Harry reaches up to touch his scar]'' No, no. This kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin. 
:'''Harry''': What is it? 
:'''Dumbledore''': ''[smiling]'' Love, Harry. Love. ''[walks back to the table]'' Ah, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. ''[picks it up]'' I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I'm afraid I've lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee. ''[eats one bean]'' Mm, alas. Earwax.
:''[Harry smiles]''

----
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Hermione''': Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?
:'''Harry''': I'm not going home, not really.

== Deleted Scenes ==
:[''Dudley is in his new school uniform having his picture taken. Harry enters the room as Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia proudly snap pictures of their son.''].
:'''Harry''': Will I have to wear that too?
:'''Petunia''': You? Go to Smeltings? [Harry nods, questionably]
:'''Uncle Vernon:''' HA!
:''[The family laughs.]''
:'''Aunt Petunia''': Don't be so stupid, you're going to go the state school where you belong. ''[Goes to the kitchen and fishes out a grey shirt in a boiler.]'' And this is what you're gonna be wearing when I've finished dyeing it.
:'''Harry''': But that's Dudley's old uniform. It'll fit me like bits of old elephant skin.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Hedwig has just flown down to the table where Harry, Ron and Hermoine are studying]''
:'''Harry''': Hi, Hedwig.
:'''Hermione''': ''[after a brief pause]'' Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.
:'''Ron''': I'm ready! Ask me any question.
:'''Hermione''': All right, what are the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?
:'''Ron''': ...I forgot.
:'''Hermione''': And what, may I ask, do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?
:'''Ron''': Copy off you?
:'''Hermione''': No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
:'''Ron''': That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us! ''[checks a card, irritated]'' Dumbledore again! ''[Neville comes hopping in, his legs apparently stuck together]'' Leg-Locker Curse?
:'''Harry''': Malfoy.
:''[Neville approaches them amidst laughter from the other students]''
:'''Ron''': You have ''got'' to start standing up to people, Neville.
:'''Neville''': ''[wobbling uncontrollably]'' How? I can barely stand at all!
:'''Seamus''': ''[jumping up, wand at the ready]'' I'll do the counter-curse!
:'''Neville''': No, that's all I need... you to set my bloody kneecaps on fire!
:'''Seamus''': ''[slamming his wand down angrily]'' I don't appreciate the insinuation, Longbottom. Besides, if anyone cares to notice, my eyebrows have completely grown back! ''[stalks off angrily, showing a large chunk of hair missing from the back of his head]''
:'''Harry''': I found him! ''[hands Ron a Chocolate Frog card of Dumbledore]''
:'''Ron''': 'Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the Dark&quot; Wizard Grindelwald in 1945&amp;ndash;'
:'''Harry''': Go on.
:'''Ron''': '-for his discovery of the 12 uses of Dragon Blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner Nicolas Flamel!'
:'''Harry''': I knew the name sounded familiar. I read it on the train that day.
:'''Hermione''': ''[beaming excitedly]'' Follow me!
:''[the Trio tears out of the Great Hall, leaving poor Neville still flailing around]''
:'''Neville''': Hey, wait, where are you going? What about the counter-curse?! ''[before he can say another word he topples over backwards, the other students start laughing]''

== Taglines ==
* Let the Magic Begin.
* Journey Beyond Your Imagination.
* Let the Feast, Begin.

== Cast ==
* [[Daniel Radcliffe]] as [[w:Harry Potter (character)|Harry Potter]]
* [[w:Rupert Grint|Rupert Grint]] as [[w:Ron Weasley|Ron Weasley]]
* [[Emma Watson]] as [[w:Hermione Granger|Hermione Granger]]
* [[w:Richard Harris|Richard Harris]] as [[w:Albus Dumbledore|Albus Dumbledore]]
* [[w:Tom Felton|Tom Felton]] as [[w:Draco Malfoy|Draco Malfoy]]
* [[w:Robbie Coltrane|Robbie Coltrane]] as [[w:Rubeus Hagrid|Rubeus Hagrid]]
* [[Alan Rickman]] as [[w:Severus Snape|Severus Snape]]
* [[w:Maggie Smith|Maggie Smith]] as [[w:Minerva McGonagall|Minerva McGonagall]]
* [[w:Ian Hart|Ian Hart]] as [[w:Professor Quirrell|Professor Quirrell]] / [[w:Lord Voldemort|Lord Voldemort]] (Voice)

== External links ==
* {{imdb title|id=0241527|title=Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=harry_potter_and_the_sorcerers_stone|title=Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone}}
* The Official [http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/ ''Harry Potter''] Site

{{Harry Potter}}

[[Category:2001 films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films set in schools]]
[[Category:Films directed by Chris Columbus]]</text>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="17745" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Coat of arms of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam is [[strong]] [[eternal]]. ~ Van Cao]]
[[File:Flag of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam. ~ [[w:Dave Dudley|Dave Dudley]]]]
[[File:Flag of the Communist Party of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam was never all that ideologically [[Communism|communist]]. It was always more socialist and nationalist. I told them they should stop calling themselves 'the [[Communism|communist]] [[party]]', but I didn't get anywhere with it. Everybody pays for everything over there, including healthcare. The government hardly provides anything. Sweden is more socialist than Vietnam. ~ [[w:Pete Peterson|Pete Peterson]]]]
[[File:Long_bien_bridge.jpg|thumb|We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds! ~ [[w:Lưu Hữu Phước|Lưu Hữu Phước]]]]
[[File:Vietcong_Guerrilla_Patrols.jpg|thumb|I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a [[Countries|country]]. ~ [[John Pilger]]]]
[[File:French_Indochina_c._1930.jpg|thumb|'''In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia.''' ~ [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]]]]
[[File:Bâtiments_172.jpg|thumb|Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Indochina|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. &lt;br&gt; “Even in France we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. ~ Zanna K. McKay]]
'''[[w:Vietnam|Vietnam]]''' ([[w:Vietnamese|Vietnamese]]: ''Việt Nam''), officially the '''[[w:Socialist republic|Socialist Republic]] of Vietnam''' ('''SRV'''; Vietnamese: ''Cộng hòa xã hội chủ nghĩa Việt Nam'') is the easternmost country on the [[w:Indochina|Indochina Peninsula]] in [[w:Southeast Asia|Southeast Asia]]. With an estimated 90.5 million inhabitants as of 2014, it is the world's [[w:List of countries and dependencies by population|13th-most-populous country]], and the [[w:List of Asian countries by population|eighth-most-populous Asian country]]. [[w:Names of Vietnam|The name Vietnam]] translates as &quot;Southern Viet&quot; (synonymous with the much older term [[w:Nam Viet|Nam Viet]]); it was first officially adopted in 1802 by Emperor [[w:Gia Long|Gia Long]], and was adopted again in 1945 with the founding of the [[w:Democratic Republic of Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Vietnam]] under [[Ho Chi Minh]]. The country is bordered by [[China]] to the north, [[w:Laos|Laos]] to the northwest, [[w:Cambodia|Cambodia]] to the southwest, and the [[w:South China Sea|South China Sea]] to the east. Its capital city has been [[w:Hanoi|Hanoi]] since the reunification of [[w:North Vietnam|North]] and [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]] in 1976, following the conclusion of the [[Vietnam War]].
__NOTOC__
[[#A|A]] &amp;ndash; [[#B|B]] &amp;ndash; [[#C|C]] &amp;ndash; [[#D|D]] &amp;ndash; [[#E|E]] &amp;ndash; [[#F|F]] &amp;ndash; [[#G|G]] &amp;ndash; [[#H|H]] &amp;ndash; [[#I|I]] &amp;ndash; [[#J|J]] &amp;ndash; [[#K|K]] &amp;ndash; [[#L|L]] &amp;ndash; [[#M|M]] &amp;ndash; [[#N|N]] &amp;ndash; [[#O|O]] &amp;ndash; [[#P|P]] &amp;ndash; [[#Q|Q]] &amp;ndash; [[#R|R]] &amp;ndash; [[#S|S]] &amp;ndash; [[#T|T]] &amp;ndash; [[#U|U]] &amp;ndash; [[#V|V]] &amp;ndash; [[#W|W]] &amp;ndash; [[#X|X]] &amp;ndash; [[#Y|Y]] &amp;ndash; [[#Z|Z]] &amp;ndash; [[#See also|See also]]
== Quotes ==
===C===
*Vietnam is strong eternal.
**Van Cao, [https://web.archive.org/web/20110907132559/http://www.vietnamembassy-usa.org/learn_about_vietnam/politics/national_anthem/ &quot;March to the Front&quot;] (1944)
**Original Vietnamese: ''Nuoc non Vietnam ta vung ben.''

*Strap on my arm; the streets is feeling like Vietnam.
**[[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [http://www.megalyrics.net/david-banner/bloody-war#strap-on-my-arm-the-streets-is-feeling-like-vietnam &quot;Bloody War&quot;] (2005), ''Certified''.

===D===
*Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam.
** [[w:Dave Dudley|Dave Dudley]], as quoted in [http://www.metrolyrics.com/hello-vietnam-lyrics-dave-dudley.html &quot;Hello Vietnam&quot;] (1965), by Tom T. Hall, United Kingdom: Decca Records.

===G===
* In August 1945, the [[w:Surrender of Japan|capitulation of the Japanese forces]] before the {{w|Soviet Army}} and the [[w:Allies of World War II|Allied forces]], put an [[w:End of World War II in Asia|end to the world war]]. The defeat of the German and Nippon [[fascists]] was the beginning of a great weakening of the [[capitalist]] system. After the great victory of the [[Soviet Union]], many [[w:People's democracy (Marxism–Leninism)|people's democracies]] saw the light of day. The [[socialist]] system was no longer confined within the frontiers of a single country. A new historic era was beginning in the world. In view of these changes, in Viet Nam, the Indo-chinese Communist Party and the Viet Minh called the whole Vietnamese nation to general insurrection. Everywhere, the people rose in a body. Demonstrations and displays of force followed each other uninterruptedly. In August, [[w:August Revolution|the Revolution]] broke out, neutralising the bewildered Nippon troops, overthrowing the pro-Japanese feudal authorities, and installing people's power in Hanoi and throughout the country, in the towns as well as in the countryside, in Bac Bo as well as in Nam Bo. In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia. But the imperialists intended to nip the republican regime in the bud and once again transform [[Viet Nam]] into a colony. Three weeks had hardly gone by when, on September 23rd, 1945, the [[w:French Far East Expeditionary Corps|French Expeditionary Corps]] opened fire in Saigon. The whole was to be carried on for nine years at the cost of unprecedented heroism and amidst unimaginable difficulties, to end by the shining victory of our people and the crushing defeat of the aggressive imperialists at Dien Bien Phu. ... '''Never before had there been so many foreign troops on the soil of Viet Nam. But never before either, had the Vietnamese people been so determined to rise up in combat to defend their country.'''
** [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/giap/1961-pwpa.pdf People’s War, People’s Army]''(1962).

===J===
*Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all Americans. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for immigration the Congress proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation
**[[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill] (3 October 1965).

* The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things. The shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education, the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the dignity of those who master their own destiny. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent peace, they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much courage, and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death... How many men who listen to me tonight have served their nation in other wars? How very many are not here to listen? The [[war]] in Vietnam is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, [[war]] is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know [[war]] is to know that there is still madness in this world.
**[[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966).

*Last year the nature of the war in Vietnam changed again. Swiftly increasing numbers of armed men from the North crossed the borders to join forces that were already in the South. Attack and terror increased, spurred and encouraged by the belief that the United States lacked the will to continue and that their victory was near. Despite our desire to limit conflict, it was necessary to act: to hold back the mounting aggression, to give courage to the people of the South, and to make our firmness clear to the North. Thus. we began limited air action against military targets in North Vietnam. We increased our fighting force to its present strength tonight of 190,000 men. These moves have not ended the aggression but they have prevented its success. The aims of the enemy have been put out of reach by the skill and the bravery of Americans and their allies—and by the enduring courage of the South Vietnamese who, I can tell you, have lost eight men last year for every one of ours. The enemy is no longer close to victory. Time is no longer on his side. There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace.
**[[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966).

*I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam.
**[[w:Bizarre (rapper)|Rufus Johnson]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/undertheinfluence.html &quot;Under the Influence&quot;] (2000), ''The Marshall Mathers LP''.

===L===
*Vietnam of course attacked Cambodia.
**[[James W. Loewen]], [http://sundown.afro.illinois.edu/ NGO Holiday Card]

===M===
* Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Indochina|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. &lt;br&gt; “Even in France we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. &lt;br&gt; Heavy [[w:Roof|roofs]] are designed to withstand [[typhoons]] and large [[w:Window|windows]] placed strategically to catch the [[breeze]]. The consulate, now dwarfed by a [[w:Skyscraper|skyscraper]] under [[construction]], is considered one of the best-preserved examples of the [[architecture]] of ''Cochinchina'', the French name for [[South Vietnam|southern Vietnam]].
** Zanna K. McKay, [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/03/04/vietnam-architectural-gems-disappearing/97098474/ “Vietnam's architectural gems are disappearing”], (March 4, 2017).

===N===
*We lost, everyday, Vietnamese life, in fighting [[w:North Vietnam|the communists]]... American democracy, maybe, cannot work in a [[Countries|country]] like mine, you know, in [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]].
**[[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://openvault.wgbh.org/catalog/vietnam-f2fe66-interview-with-nguyen-khanh-1981 &quot;Interview with Nguyen Khanh&quot;] (29 April 1981), WGBH Media Library &amp; Archives.

*I remember that day clearly when I left [[w:Ho Chi Minh City|Saigon]]. I left [[w:South Vietnam|my country]] in [[honor]] that day... [[China]] presents Vietnam with a very big problem. China is taking over Vietnam, from Cholon, where there are rich Chinese, to Haiphong. They are everywhere now with their product. My wife is from the North, people there resent China more than the South feared the Viet Cong. The Chinese are invaders — like any other foreigners — to fight. We must stop the Chinese. You know the dikes built on the Red River? If they break, what happens? A flood!
**[[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20080921114015/http://65.45.193.26:8026/cms/acct/vietweekly/issues/vw3n18/english/bagOfEarth.html &quot;A Bag of Earth, A Promise To Keep&quot;] (28 April 2005), by Mike Nally, ''Viet Weekly''.

* If [[United States|they]] want to assassinate [[w:Nguyễn Văn Thiệu|me]], it's easy. After that, just blame it on the [[w:Viet Cong|Việt Cộng]] or a coup d'etat plot.
**[[w:Nguyễn Văn Thiệu|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn]], as quoted in [http://antgct.cand.com.vn/News/PrintView.aspx?ID=53640 &quot;Tổng thống Sài Gòn cũ Nguyễn Văn Thiệu và con đường chiến bại (kỳ III)&quot;], by Phong Hoàn Công, ''Báo Công An Nhân Dân''.
**Original Vietnamese quote: ''Nếu [[United States|họ]] muốn ám sát tôi thì cũng dễ thôi. Rồi sau đó cứ việc đổ cho Việt Cộng hoặc là do âm mưu đảo chính''.

* [[United States|They]] have back-stabbed [[w:South Vietnam|us]].
**[[w:Nguyễn Văn Thiệu|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn]], as quoted in ''Việt Nam. Cuộc chiến 10.000 ngày. Tập 8 - Hòa bình''.
**Original Vietnamese quote: ''[[United States|Họ]] đã đâm sau lưng chúng tôi''.

* No event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now. Rarely have so many people been so wrong about so much. Never have the consequences of their misunderstanding been so tragic.
**[[Richard Nixon]], as quoted in ''No More Vietnams'' (1987).

=== O ===

* I also come here with a deep respect for Vietnam's ancient heritage. For millennia, farmers have tended these lands, a history revealed in the ''Đông Sơn'' drums. At this bend in the river, Hanoi has endured for more than a thousand years. The world came to treasure Vietnamese silks and paintings, and a great Temple of Literature stands as a testament to your pursuit of knowledge. And yet, over the centuries, your fate was too often dictated by others. Your beloved land was not always your own. But like bamboo, the unbroken spirit of the Vietnamese people was captured by [[Lý Thường Kiệt]]: &quot;The Southern emperor rules the Southern land. Our destiny is writ in Heaven's Book.&quot;
** [[Barack Obama]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-hanoi-vietnam Remarks in Hanoi, Vietnam]; 24 May 2016 

===P===
*We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds!
**[[w:Lưu Hữu Phước|Lưu Hữu Phước]], &quot;[[w:Thanh niên hành khúc|Thanh niên hành khúc]]&quot;
**Original Vietnamese: ''Người Công Dân luôn vững bền tâm trí. Hùng tráng quyết chiến đấu làm cho khắp nơi. Vang tiếng người nước Nam cho đến muôn đời!''

*Bones have broken, and blood has fallen, the hatred is rising high. Our country has been separated for so long. Here, the sacred Mekong, here, glorious Truong Son Mountains are urging us to advance to kill the enemy. Shoulder to shoulder, under a common flag. Arise!
** [[w:Lưu Hữu Phước|Lưu Hữu Phước]], &quot;[[w:Giải phóng miền Nam|Liberate the South]]&quot; (July 1969)

* I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a country.
** [[John Pilger]], as quoted in ''Do you remember Vietnam?'' (1978).

===S===
* Whatever you think... America wasn't stealing from the Vietnamese. 
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014)

===T===
* This is the largest anti-Chinese demonstration I have ever seen in Hanoi. Our patience has limits. We are here to express the will of the Vietnamese people to defend our territory at all costs. We are ready to die to protect our nation.
** A war veteran named Dang Quang Thang told the AFP news agency, [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-27362939 &quot;Vietnam protestors attack China over sea disuptes&quot;], May 11, 2014.

* All independent religions are banned [in Vietnam].  Only economically speaking we are better [since the collapse of South Vietnam in [[1975]]].  But politically speaking nothing changes.
** [[w:Thích Quảng Độ|Thích Quảng Độ]]. {{cite video|url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPlL3ngQraQ|title=In My View: Vietnam's Buddhist Monk Thich Quang Do|date=2007-12-20}}

===Z===
*[T]he Vietnamese government does ''not'' mess around. Vietnam is ''not'' a democracy. It benefits (suffers?) from extensive monitoring of civilians, but unlike the Singaporean techno-state, Vietnam’s system is more akin to an authoritarian neighborhood watch. This system of internal monitoring literally lets state agents go door-to-door demanding answers to invasive questions. 
**[[w:Peter Zeihan|Peter Zeihan]], [https://zeihan.com/the-state-of-the-pandemic-east-asia/ &quot;The State of the Pandemic: East Asia&quot;] (18 June 2020), ''Zeihan on Geopolitics''
==See also==
*[[American exceptionalism]]
*[[Crimes against humanity]]
*[[War crimes]]
*[[Smedley Butler|''War is a Racket'', by Smedley Butler (U.S.M.C.)]]

== External links ==
{{similarlinks}}
*{{Wikivoyage-inline}}
[[Category:Vietnam| ]]</text>
      <sha1>q4hh8c2v0xsernqyky1g5wqvacdqqod</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>List of people by name, S</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>74441</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154825</id>
      <parentid>2942262</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:41:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Sen–Sey */  *[[John Senior|Senior, John]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="41017" xml:space="preserve">'''Subset of [[List of people by name]]'''
{{People by name}}
== S ==
===Saa–Sam===
*[[Nawal El Saadawi|Saadawi, Nawal El]]
*[[Saadi]]
*[[Aiysha Saagar|Saagar, Aiysha]]
*[[Yousef Saanei|Saanei, Yousef]]
*[[Mikheil Saakashvili|Saakashvili, Mikheil]]
*[[Rafael Sabatini|Sabatini, Rafael]]
*[[Ernesto Sábato|Sábato, Ernesto]]
*[[Michel Sabbah|Sabbah, Michel]]
*[[Florence R. Sabin|Sabin, Florence R.]]
*[[Fernando Sabino|Sabino, Fernando]]
*[[Arrigo Sacchi|Sacchi, Arrigo]]
*[[Joe Sacco|Sacco, Joe]]
*[[Louis Sachar|Sachar, Louis]]
*[[Oliver Sacks|Sacks, Oliver]]
*[[Jonathan Sacks|Sacks, Rabbi Sir Jonathan]]
*[[Vita Sackville-West|Sackville-West, Vita]]
*[[Marquis de Sade|Sade, Donatien de]]
*[[Jerry Sadowitz|Sadowitz, Jerry]]
*[[Muqtada Sadr|Sadr, Muqtada]]
*[[Moshe Safdie|Safdie, Moshe]]
*[[William Safire|Safire, William]]
*[[Paul Saffo|Saffo, Paul]]
*[[Howard Safir|Safir, Howard]]
*[[Carl Sagan|Sagan, Carl]]
*[[Françoise Sagan|Sagan, Françoise]]
*[[Kamal Sagar|Sagar, Kamal]]
*[[Bob Saget|Saget, Bob]]
*[[Mark Sagoff|Sagoff, Mark]]
*[[Mort Sahl|Sahl, Mort]]
*[[Mona Sahlin|Sahlin, Mona]]
*[[Edward Said|Said, Edward]]
*[[Ihara Saikaku|Saikaku, Ihara]]
*[[Nattawut Saikua|Saikua, Nattawut]]
*[[Steve Sailer|Sailer, Steve]]
*[[Antoine de Saint Exupéry|Saint Exupéry, Antoine de]]
*[[Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve|Sainte-Beuve, Charles Augustin]]
*[[Mellin de Saint-Gelais|Saint-Gelais, Mellin de]]
*[[Louis Antoine de Saint-Just|Saint-Just, Louis Antoine de]]
*[[Yves Saint-Laurent|Saint-Laurent, Yves]]
*[[Camille Saint-Saëns|Saint-Saëns, Camille]]
*[[George Saintsbury|Saintsbury, George]]
*[[George Saitoti|Saitoti, George]]
*[[Pat Sajak|Sajak, Pat]]
*[[Eisuke Sakakibara|Sakakibara, Eisuke]]
*[[Andrei Sakharov|Sakharov, Andrei]]
*[[Saki]]
*[[Riiko Sakkinen|Sakkinen, Riiko]]
*[[George Augustus Henry Sala|Sala, George Augustus Henry]]
*[[Abdus Salam|Salam, Abdus]]
*[[Nina Salaman|Salaman, Nina]]
*[[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar, António de Oliveira]]
*[[V.J.P. Saldanha|Saldanha, V.J.P.]]
*[[Ali Abdullah Saleh|Saleh, Ali Abdullah]]
*[[William Saletan|Saletan, William]]
*[[Bill Sali|Sali, Bill]]
*[[Antonio Salieri|Salieri, Antonio]]
*[[Barham Salih|Salih, Barham]]
*[[J. D. Salinger|Salinger, J. D.]]
*[[Johann Gaudenz von Salis-Seewis|Salis-Seewis, Johann Gaudenz von]]
*[[Jonas Salk|Salk, Jonas]]
*[[Sallust]]
*[[Sallustius]] (or Sallust)
*[[Ben Salmon|Salmon, Ben]]
*[[Alex Salmond|Salmond, Alex]]
*[[Edwin Ernest Salpeter|Salpeter, Edwin Ernest]]
*[[Henry Stephens Salt|Salt, Henry Stephens]]
*[[Titus Salt|Salt, Titus]]
*[[James Salter|Salter, James]]
*[[Jerry Saltz|Saltz, Jerry]]
*[[R. A. Salvatore|Salvatore, R. A.]]
*[[Francesco Salvi|Salvi, Francesco]]
*[[Andy Samberg|Samberg, Andy]]
*[[Richie Sambora|Sambora, Richie]]
*[[Jay Samit|Samit, Jay]]
*[[Anthony Sampson|Sampson, Anthony]]
*[[Larry Samuelson|Samuelson, Larry]]
*[[Paul Samuelson|Samuelson, Paul]]

===San–Say===
*[[José de San Martín|San Martín, José de]]
*[[Aung San|San, Aung]]
*[[Totaram Sanadhya|Sanadhya, Totaram]]
*[[Julian Sanchez|Sanchez, Julian]]
*[[Luis Rafael Sánchez|Sánchez, Luis Rafael]]
*[[Matt Sanchez|Sanchez, Matt]]
*[[Ricardo Sanchez|Sanchez, Ricardo]]
*[[Milcha Sanchez-Scott|Sanchez-Scott, Milcha]]
*[[Ignatius Sancho|Sancho, Ignatius]]
*[[George Sand|Sand, George]]
*[[Yane Sandanski|Sandanski, Yane]]
*[[Richard Sandbrook|Sandbrook, Richard]]
*[[Carl Sandburg|Sandburg, Carl]]
*[[Barry Sanders (professor)|Sanders, Barry]]
*[[Bernie Sanders|Sanders, Bernie]]
*[[Harland Sanders|Sanders, Harland]]
*[[Brandon Sanderson|Sanderson, Brandon]]
*[[John M. Sandidge|Sandidge, John M.]]
*[[Deion Sanders|Sanders, Deion]]
*[[Adam Sandler|Sandler, Adam]]
*[[Bobby Sands|Sands, Bobby]]
*[[Mark Sanford|Sanford, Mark]]
*[[Larry Sanger|Sanger, Larry]]
*[[Margaret Sanger|Sanger, Margaret]]
*[[Margaret Elizabeth Sangster|Sangster, Margaret Elizabeth]]
*[[Thomas Sankara|Sankara, Thomas]]
*[[Jacopo Sannazaro|Sannazaro, Jacopo]]
*[[George Bailey Sansom|Sansom, George Bailey]]
*[[Francesco Sansovino|Sansovino, Francesco]]
*[[Carlos Santana|Santana, Carlos]]
*[[George Santayana|Santayana, George]]
*[[Luis Santeiro|Santeiro, Luis]]
*[[Esmeralda Santiago|Santiago, Esmeralda]]
*[[Rick Santorum|Santorum, Rick]]
*[[Epifanio de los Santos|Santos, Epifanio de los]]
*[[Mayra Santos-Febres|Santos-Febres, Mayra]]
*[[Edward Sapir|Sapir, Edward]]
*[[Milton Sapirstein|Sapirstein, Milton]]
*[[Andrzej Sapkowski|Sapkowski, Andrzej]]
*[[Robert Sapolsky|Sapolsky, Robert]]
*[[Sappho]]
*[[Vikram Sarabhai|Sarabhai, Vikram]]
*[[Tanya Saracho|Saracho, Tanya]]
*[[Bukola Saraki|Saraki, Bukola]]
*[[José Saramago|Saramago, José]]
*[[Susan Sarandon|Sarandon, Susan]]
*[[Chinmayananda Saraswati|Saraswati, Chinmayananda]]
*[[Dayanand Saraswati|Saraswati, Dayanand]]
*[[Niranjanananda Saraswati|Saraswati, Niranjanananda]]
*[[Epes Sargent|Sargent, Epes]]
*[[John Singer Sargent|Sargent, John Singer]]
*[[Serzh Sargsyan|Sargsyan, Serzh]]
*[[Tigran Sargsyan|Sargsyan, Tigran]]
*[[Jadunath Sarkar|Sarkar, Jadunath]]
*[[Nicolas Sarkozy|Sarkozy, Nicolas]]
*[[Leslie Sarony|Sarony, Leslie]]
*[[William Saroyan|Saroyan, William]]
*[[George Sarton|Sarton, George]]
*[[Jean-Paul Sartre|Sartre, Jean-Paul]]
*[[Ben Sasse|Sasse, Ben]]
*[[Siegfried Sassoon|Sassoon, Siegfried]]
*[[Sathya Sai Baba]]
*[[Erik Satie|Satie, Erik]]
*[[Virginia Satir|Satir, Virginia]]
*[[Marjane Satrapi|Satrapi, Marjane]]
*[[Joe Satriani|Satriani, Joe]]
*[[Riad Sattouf|Sattouf, Riad]]
*[[Rakesh Satyal|Satyal, Rakesh]]
*[[T S Satyan|Satyan, T S]]
*[[Kailash Satyarthi|Satyarthi, Kailash]]
*[[Fritz Sauckel|Sauckel, Fritz]]
*[[Ibn Saud|Saud, Ibn]]
*[[Andrew Saul|Saul, Andrew]]
*[[John Ralston Saul|Saul, John Ralston]]
*[[James Saurin|Saurin, James]]
*[[Marcus du Sautoy|Sautoy, Marcus du]]
*[[Augusta Savage|Savage, Augusta]]
*[[Dan Savage|Savage, Dan]]
*[[Michael Savage|Savage, Michael]]
*[[Richard Savage|Savage, Richard]]
*[[Marilyn vos Savant|Savant, Marilyn vos]]
*[[Serge Savard|Savard, Serge]]
*[[Vinayak Damodar Savarkar|Savarkar, Vinayak Damodar]]
*[[George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax|Savile, George, 1st Marquess of Halifax]]
*[[Mario Savio|Savio, Mario]]
*[[Savitri Devi]]
*[[Girolamo Savonarola|Savonarola, Girolamo]]
*[[Kodo Sawaki|Sawaki, Kodo]]
*[[Kshama Sawant|Sawant, Kshama]]
*[[Diane Sawyer|Sawyer, Diane]]
*[[Robert J. Sawyer|Sawyer, Robert J.]]
*[[John Godfrey Saxe|Saxe, John Godfrey]]
*[[Jean-Baptiste Say|Say, Jean-Baptiste]]
*[[Dorothy L. Sayers|Sayers, Dorothy L.]]
*[[Alexei Sayle|Sayle, Alexei]]

===Sca–Scho===
*[[Nicola Scafetta|Scafetta, Nicola]]
*[[Antonin Scalia|Scalia, Antonin]]
*[[Bethany Kennedy Scanlon|Scanlon, Bethany Kennedy]]
*[[Arthur Scargill|Scargill, Arthur]]
*[[Christopher Scarver|Scarver, Christopher]]
*[[Günter Schabowski|Schabowski, Günter]]
*[[Hjalmar Schacht|Schacht, Hjalmar]]
*[[Edith Schaeffer|Schaeffer, Edith]]
*[[Francis Schaeffer|Schaeffer, Francis]]
*[[Pierre Schaeffer|Schaeffer, Pierre]]
*[[Philip Schaff|Schaff, Philip]]
*[[John Scalzi|Scalzi, John]]
*[[Simon Schama|Schama, Simon]]
*[[Vernon Scannell|Scannell, Vernon]]
*[[Anthony Scaramucci|Scaramucci, Anthony]]
*[[Domenico Scarlatti|Scarlatti, Domenico]]
*[[Piero Scaruffi|Scaruffi, Piero]]
*[[Gottfried Schatz|Schatz, Gottfried]]
*[[Viktor Schauberger|Schauberger, Viktor]]
*[[Arthur Leonard Schawlow|Schawlow, Arthur Leonard]]
*[[August-Wilhelm Scheer|Scheer, August-Wilhelm]]
*[[Scheherazade]]
*[[Max Scheler|Scheler, Max]]
*[[Jonathan Schell|Schell, Jonathan]]
*[[Walter Schellenberg|Schellenberg, Walter]]
*[[Friedrich Schelling|Schelling, Friedrich]]
*[[Thomas Schelling|Schelling, Thomas]]
*[[Heinrich Schenker|Schenker, Heinrich]]
*[[Michael Scheuer|Scheuer, Michael]]
*[[Giovanni Schiaparelli|Schiaparelli, Giovanni]]
*[[Peter Schiff|Schiff, Peter]]
*[[Claudia Schiffer|Schiffer, Claudia]]
*[[Edward Schillebeeckx|Schillebeeckx, Edward]]
*[[Friedrich Schiller|Schiller, Friedrich von]]
*[[Herbert Schiller|Schiller, Herbert]]
*[[Oskar Schindler|Schindler, Oskar]]
*[[Karl Friedrich Schinkel|Schinkel, Karl Friedrich]]
*[[Albert Schinz|Schinz, Albert]]
*[[Baldur von Schirach|Schirach, Baldur von]]
*[[Phyllis Schlafly|Schlafly, Phyllis]]
*[[Friedrich Schlegel|Schlegel, Friedrich]]
*[[Friedrich Schleiermacher|Schleiermacher, Friedrich]]
*[[Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.|Schlesinger, Arthur M., Jr.]]
*[[Burkard Schliessmann|Schliessmann, Burkard]]
*[[Max Schmeling|Schmeling, Max]]
*[[Mary Schmich|Schmich, Mary]]
*[[Eric Schmidt|Schmidt, Eric]]
*[[Helmut Schmidt|Schmidt, Helmut]]
*[[Michael Schmidt (poet)|Schmidt, Michael]] (poet)
*[[Paul Schmidt|Schmidt, Paul]]
*[[Peter Schmidt (artist)|Schmidt, Peter]] (artist)
*[[Karl Schmidt-Rottluff|Schmidt-Rottluff, Karl]]
*[[Carl Schmitt|Schmitt, Carl]]
*[[Roland W. Schmitt|Schmitt, Roland W.]]
*[[John G. Schmitz|Schmitz, John G.]]
*[[Artur Schnabel|Schnabel, Artur]]
*[[Paul Schnabel|Schnabel, Paul]]
*[[Eddie August Schneider|Schneider, Eddie August]]
*[[H. W. Schneider|Schneider, H. W.]]
*[[Ira Schneider|Schneider, Ira]]
*[[Bruce Schneier|Schneier, Bruce]]
*[[Gabriel Schoenfeld|Schoenfeld, Gabriel]]
*[[Arnold Schoenberg|Schoenberg, Arnold]]
*[[Evan Schoenberg|Schoenberg, Evan]]
*[[Bobbejaan Schoepen|Schoepen, Bobbejaan]]
*[[Nicolas Schöffer|Schöffer, Nicolas]]
*[[Myron Scholes|Scholes, Myron]]
*[[Paul Scholes|Scholes, Paul]]
*[[Sophie Scholl|Scholl, Sophie]]
*[[Ken Schoolland|Schoolland, Ken]]
*[[Donald Schön|Schön, Donald]]
*[[Arthur Schopenhauer|Schopenhauer, Arthur]]

===Schr–Scu===
*[[Peter W. Schramm|Schramm, Peter W.]]
*[[Henry Schriver|Schriver, Henry]]
*[[Ernst Schröder|Schröder, Ernst]]
*[[Gerhard Schröder|Schröder, Gerhard]]
*[[Karl Schroeder|Schroeder, Karl]]
*[[Friedrich von Schrötter|Schrötter, Friedrich von]]
*[[Erwin Schrödinger|Schrödinger, Erwin]]
*[[Norm Schryer|Schryer, Norm]]
*[[Franz Schubert|Schubert, Franz]]
*[[Helen Schucman|Schucman, Helen]]
*[[Dutch Schultz|Schultz, Dutch]]
*[[Ed Schultz|Schultz, Ed]]
*[[Theodore Schultz|Schultz, Theodore]]
*[[Bruno Schulz|Schulz, Bruno]]
*[[Charles M. Schulz|Schulz, Charles M.]]
*[[E. F. Schumacher|Schumacher, E. F.]]
*[[Michael Schumacher|Schumacher, Michael]]
*[[Robert Schumann|Schumann, Robert]]
*[[Joseph Schumpeter|Schumpeter, Joseph]]
*[[Frithjof Schuon|Schuon, Frithjof]]
*[[Carl Schurz|Schurz, Carl]]
*[[Arthur Schuster|Schuster, Arthur]]
*[[Brother Roger|Schutz, Roger]] see [[Brother Roger]]
*[[Schwa (art)|Schwa]] (art)
*[[Andrew Schwab|Schwab, Andrew]]
*[[Anna Schwartz|Schwartz, Anna]]
*[[Barry Schwartz|Schwartz, Barry]]
*[[Delmore Schwartz|Schwartz, Delmore]]
*[[Melvin Schwartz|Schwartz, Melvin]]
*[[Stephen Schwartz|Schwartz, Stephen]]
*[[Harry Schwarz|Schwarz, Harry]]
*[[Blake Schwarzenbach|Schwarzenbach, Blake]]
*[[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Schwarzenegger, Arnold]]
*[[Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.|Schwarzkopf, Norman, Jr.]]
*[[Samanta Schweblin|Schweblin, Samanta]]
*[[Albert Schweitzer|Schweitzer, Albert]]
*[[Julian Schwinger|Schwinger, Julian]]
*[[Kurt Schwitters|Schwitters, Kurt]]
*[[Dennis Sciama|Sciama, Dennis]]
*[[Céline Sciamma|Sciamma, Céline]]
*[[Paul Scofield|Scofield, Paul]]
*[[Martin Scorsese|Scorsese, Martin]]
*[[Bon Scott|Scott, Bon]]
*[[C. P. Scott|Scott, C. P.]]
*[[Howard Scott|Scott, Howard]]
*[[John Scott, 1st Earl of Eldon|Scott, John, 1st Earl of Eldon]]
*[[Mike Scott (musician)|Scott, Mike]]
*[[Rachel Scott|Scott, Rachel Joy]]
*[[Ridley Scott|Scott, Ridley]]
*[[Rion Amilcar Scott|Scott, Rion Amilcar]]
*[[Robert Falcon Scott|Scott, Robert Falcon]]
*[[Walter Scott|Scott, Walter]]
*[[Winfield Scott|Scott, Winfield]]
*[[Duns Scotus|Scotus, Duns]]
*[[Alexander Scriabin|Scriabin, Alexander]]
*[[Christian Scriver|Scriver, Christian]]
*[[Roger Scruton|Scruton, Roger]]
*[[Marlan Scully|Scully, Marlan]]
*[[Matthew Scully|Scully, Matthew]]
*[[Vin Scully|Scully, Vin]]
*[[Vincent Scully|Scully, Vincent]]

===Sea–Sel===
*[[Glenn T. Seaborg|Seaborg, Glenn T.]]
*[[Jeremy Seabrook|Seabrook, Jeremy]]
*[[Sandra Seacat|Seacat, Sandra]]
*[[Seal (musician)|Seal]] (musician)
*[[Bobby Seale|Seale, Bobby]]
*[[Barbara Seaman|Seaman, Barbara]]
*[[Owen Seaman|Seaman, Owen]]
*[[John Searle|Searle, John]]
*[[Edmund Sears|Sears, Edmund]]
*[[Francis Sears|Sears, Francis]]
*[[Sandra Seaton|Seaton, Sandra]]
*[[Chief Seattle]]
*[[Harry Secombe|Secombe, Harry]]
*[[Michel-Jean Sedaine|Sedaine, Michel-Jean]]
*[[David Sedaris|Sedaris, David]]
*[[Edie Sedgwick|Sedgwick, Edie]]
*[[Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick|Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky]]
*[[John Sedgwick|Sedgwick, John]]
*[[Charles Sedley|Sedley, Charles]]
*[[Dieter Seebach|Seebach, Dieter]]
*[[Richard Seed|Seed, Richard]]
*[[Charles Seeger|Seeger, Charles]]
*[[Pete Seeger|Seeger, Pete]]
*[[Julius Hawley Seelye|Seelye, Julius Hawley]]
*[[Andrew Sega|Sega, Andrew]]
*[[Erich Segal|Segal, Erich]]
*[[Bob Seger|Seger, Bob]]
*[[Sei Shōnagon|Sei Shōnagon]]
*[[Jaroslav Seifert|Seifert, Jaroslav]]
*[[John Seigenthaler Sr.|Seigenthaler, John]]
*[[Jerry Seinfeld|Seinfeld, Jerry]]
*[[Frederick Seitz|Seitz, Frederick]]
*[[Mobutu Sésé Seko|Seko, Mobutu Sésé]]
*[[Haile Selassie|Selassie, Haile I, of Ethiopia]]
*[[John Selden|Selden, John]]
*[[George Seldes|Seldes, George]]
*[[Will Self|Self, Will]]
*[[Bud Selig|Selig, Bud]]
*[[Meša Selimović|Selimović, Meša]]
*[[Peter Sellars|Sellars, Peter]]
*[[Tom Selleck|Selleck, Tom]]
*[[Peter Sellers|Sellers, Peter]]
*[[Sean Sellers|Sellers, Sean]]
*[[Reinhard Selten|Selten, Reinhard]]
*[[Sarah Seltzer|Seltzer, Sarah]]
*[[Sam Selvon|Selvon, Sam]]

===Sen–Sey===
*[[Keshub Chunder Sen|Sen, Keshub Chunder]]
*[[Amartya Sen|Sen, Amartya]]
*[[Maurice Sendak|Sendak, Maurice]]
*[[Irena Sendler|Sendler, Irena]]
*[[Seneca the Elder]]
*[[Seneca the Younger]]
*[[Peter Senge|Senge, Peter]]
*[[Jona Senilagakali|Senilagakali, Jona]]
*[[John Senior|Senior, John]]
*[[Ayrton Senna|Senna, Ayrton]]
*[[Sennacherib]]
*[[Senthil]]
*[[Septimius Severus|Severus, Septimius]]
*[[Ismail Serageldin|Serageldin, Ismail]]
*[[Seraphim of Sarov]]
*[[Serfoji II of Thanjavur]]
*[[Victor Serge|Serge, Victor]]
*[[Rod Serling|Serling, Rod]]
*[[Nicholas Serota|Serota, Nicholas]]
*[[Namwali Serpell|Serpell, Namwali]]
*[[Richard Serra|Serra, Richard]]
*[[Ian Serraillier|Serraillier, Ian]]
*[[Michele Serros|Serros, Michele]]
*[[Michael Servetus|Servetus, Michael]]
*[[Robert Service|Service, Robert]]
*[[Roy Sesana|Sesana, Roy]]
*[[Jeff Sessions|Sessions, Jeff]]
*[[Vikram Seth|Seth, Vikram]]
*[[Michel Seuphor|Seuphor, Michel]]
*[[Dr. Seuss|Seuss, Dr.]]
*[[Gino Severini|Severini, Gino]]
*[[Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, marquise de Sévigné|Sévigné, Marie de Rabutin-Chantal, Marquise de]]
*[[Chloë Sevigny|Sevigny, Chloë]]
*[[Harriet Winslow Sewall|Sewall, Harriet Winslow]]
*[[Jonathan M. Sewall|Sewall, Jonathan M.]]
*[[William H. Seward|Seward, William H.]]
*[[George Sewell|Sewell, George]]
*[[Anne Sexton|Sexton, Anne]]
*[[Sextus Propertius]]
*[[Ed Seykota|Seykota, Ed]]
*[[Jane Seymour|Seymour, Jane]] (actress)
*[[Arthur Seyss-Inquart|Seyss-Inquart, Arthur]]

===Sha===
*[[Michael Shaara|Shaara, Michael]]
*[[Max Shachtman|Shachtman, Max]]
*[[Ernest Shackleton|Shackleton, Ernest]]
*[[Tim Shadbolt|Shadbolt, Tim]]
*[[John Shadegg|Shadegg, John]]
*[[DJ Shadow|Shadow, DJ]]
*[[Thomas Shadwell|Shadwell, Thomas]]
*[[Tom Shadyac|Shadyac, Tom]]
*[[Elif Shafak|Shafak, Elif]]
*[[Peter Shaffer|Shaffer, Peter]]
*[[Amit Shah|Shah, Amit]]
*[[Nader Shah|Shah, Nader]]
*[[Owais Shah|Shah, Owais]]
*[[Rezā Shāh|Shāh, Rezā]]
*[[Jennifer Shahade|Shahade, Jennifer]]
*[[Israel Shahak|Shahak, Israel]]
*[[Liu Shahe|Shahe, Liu]]
*[[Jeanne Shaheen|Shaheen, Jeanne]]
*[[Hashemi Shahroudi|Shahroudi, Hashemi]]
*[[Merle Shain|Shain, Merle]]
*[[John Campbell Shairp|Shairp, John Campbell]]
*[[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare, William]]
*[[Shakira]]
*[[Assata Shakur|Shakur, Assata]]
*[[Tupac Shakur|Shakur, Tupac]]
*[[Yitzhak Shamir|Shamir, Yitzhak]]
*[[Shammai]]
*[[Kamila Shamsie|Shamsie, Kamila]]
*[[Ntozake Shange|Shange, Ntozake]]
*[[Ravi Shankar|Shankar, Ravi]] (sitarist)
*[[Ravi Shankar (spiritual leader)|Shankar, Sri Sri Ravi]] (spiritual leader)
*[[Adi Shankara|Shankara, Adi]]
*[[Bill Shankly|Shankly, Bill]]
*[[Claude Elwood Shannon|Shannon, Claude Elwood]]
*[[Molly Shannon|Shannon, Molly]]
*[[Shantideva]]
*[[Yuan Shao|Shao, Yuan]]
*[[Ian Shapiro|Shapiro, Ian]]
*[[Karl Shapiro|Shapiro, Karl]]
*[[Natan Sharansky|Sharansky, Natan]]
*[[Ali Shariati|Shariati, Ali]]
*[[Hossein Shariatmadari|Shariatmadari, Hossein]]
*[[Helen Sharman|Sharman, Helen]]
*[[Ariel Sharon|Sharon, Ariel]]
*[[Granville Sharp|Sharp, Granville]]
*[[William Sharp (writer)‎|Sharp, William]] (also known as Fiona MacLeod or McLeod)
*[[Willoughby Sharp|Sharp, Willoughby]]
*[[Shannon Sharpe|Sharpe, Shannon]]
*[[K. Barry Sharpless|Sharpless, K. Barry]]
*[[Al Sharpton|Sharpton, Al]]
*[[William Shatner|Shatner, William]]
*[[Nina Shatskaya|Shatskaya, Nina]]
*[[Artie Shaw|Shaw, Artie]]
*[[George Bernard Shaw|Shaw, George Bernard]]
*[[Roy Shaw|Shaw, Roy]]
*[[Scott Shaw|Shaw, Scott]]
*[[Hartley Shawcross, Baron Shawcross|Shawcross, Hartley, Baron Shawcross]]
*[[Chris Shays|Shays, Chris]]

===She–Shw===
*[[Robert Sheckley|Sheckley, Robert]]
*[[John Augustus Shedd|Shedd, John Augustus]]
*[[William Greenough Thayer Shedd|Shedd, William Greenough Thayer]]
*[[Wilfrid Sheed|Sheed, Wilfrid]]
*[[Cindy Sheehan|Sheehan, Cindy]]
*[[Ma Anand Sheela|Sheela, Ma Anand]]
*[[Charlie Sheen|Sheen, Charlie]]
*[[Fulton J. Sheen|Sheen, Fulton J.]]
*[[Martin Sheen|Sheen, Martin]]
*[[Michael Sheen|Sheen, Michael]]
*[[Ed Sheeran|Sheeran, Ed]]
*[[Josette Sheeran|Sheeran, Josette]]
*[[John Sheffield, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Normanby|Sheffield, John, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Normanby]]
*[[Ahmed Sheikh|Sheikh, Ahmed]]
*[[Ali Mohamed Shein|Shein, Ali Mohamed]]
*[[Judith Sheindlin|Sheindlin, Judith]]
*[[Chandra Shekhar|Shekhar, Chandra]]
*[[Mary Shelley|Shelley, Mary Wollstonecraft]]
*[[Percy Bysshe Shelley|Shelley, Percy Bysshe]]
*[[George Shelvocke|Shelvocke, George]]
*[[Stephen Shen|Shen, Stephen]]
*[[William Shenstone|Shenstone, William]]
*[[Alan Shepard|Shepard, Alan]]
*[[Lawrence Shepp|Shepp, Lawrence]]
*[[Kate Sheppard|Sheppard, Kate]]
*[[Mallika Sherawat|Sherawat, Mallika]]
*[[Amrita Sher-Gil|Sher-Gil, Amrita]]
*[[Philip Sheridan|Sheridan, Philip]]
*[[Richard Brinsley Sheridan|Sheridan, Richard Brinsley]]
*[[Allan Sherman|Sherman, Allan]]
*[[Forrest Sherman|Sherman, Forrest]]
*[[Richard Sherman (American football)|Sherman, Richard Kevin]]
*[[Robert B. Sherman|Sherman, Robert B.]]
*[[William Tecumseh Sherman|Sherman, William Tecumseh]]
*[[Amy Sherman-Palladino|Sherman-Palladino, Amy]]
*[[Michael Shermer|Shermer, Michael]]
*[[Charles Scott Sherrington|Sherrington, Charles Scott]]
*[[Fred Shero|Shero, Fred]]
*[[H.V. Sheshadri|Sheshadri, H.V.]]
*[[Salil Shetty|Shetty, Salil]]
*[[Eduard Shevardnadze|Shevardnadze, Eduard]]
*[[Andriy Shevchenko|Shevchenko, Andriy]]
*[[Taras Shevchenko|Shevchenko, Taras]]
*[[Walter A. Shewhart|Shewhart, Walter A.]]
*[[Sheng Shicai|Shicai, Sheng]]
*[[Masaoka Shiki|Shiki, Masaoka]]
*[[Murasaki Shikibu|Shikibu, Murasaki]]
*[[Yoko Shimomura|Shimomura, Yoko]]
*[[Kyung-sook Shin|Shin, Kyung-sook]]
*[[Thaksin Shinawatra|Shinawatra, Thaksin]]
*[[Anna Shipton|Shipton, Anna]]
*[[Warsan Shire|Shire, Warsan]]
*[[Florence Scovel Shinn|Shinn, Florence Scovel]]
*[[Mike Shinoda|Shinoda, Mike]]
*[[Eric Shinseki|Shinseki, Eric]]
*[[Rick Shiomi|Shiomi, Rick]]
*[[Eric Shipton|Shipton, Eric]]
*[[Toshio Shiratori|Shiratori, Toshio]]
*[[Sai Baba of Shirdi|Shirdi, Sai Baba of]]
*[[William L. Shirer|Shirer, William L.]]
*[[Clay Shirky|Shirky, Clay]]
*[[James Shirley|Shirley, James]]
*[[Vandana Shiva|Shiva, Vandana]]
*[[Sally Shlaer|Shlaer, Sally]]
*[[John Shoch|Shoch, John]]
*[[William Shockley|Shockley, William]]
*[[Yoshida Shoin|Shoin, Yoshida]]
*[[Mikhail Sholokhov|Sholokhov, Mikhail]]
*[[Shingai Shoniwa|Shoniwa, Shingai]]
*[[Dinah Shore|Shore, Dinah]]
*[[Clare Short|Short, Clare]]
*[[Martin Short|Short, Martin]]
*[[Nigel Short|Short, Nigel]]
*[[Joseph Henry Shorthouse|Shorthouse, Joseph Henry]]
*[[Dmitri Shostakovich|Shostakovich, Dmitri]]
*[[Arun Shourie|Shourie, Arun]]
*[[Eunice Kennedy Shriver|Shriver, Eunice Kennedy]]
*[[Chen Shui-bian|Shui-bian, Chen]]
*[[George Shultz|Shultz, George]]
*[[David Shuster|Shuster, David]]
*[[Nevil Shute|Shute, Nevil]]
*[[Steve Shutt|Shutt, Steve]]
*[[Mark Shuttleworth|Shuttleworth, Mark]]
*[[Than Shwe|Shwe, Than]]
*[[Richard Shweder|Shweder, Richard]]

===Si===
*[[Jean Sibelius|Sibelius, Jean]]
*[[Diodorus Siculus|Siculus, Diodorus]]
*[[Navjot Singh Sidhu|Sidhu, Navjot Singh]]
*[[Boris Sidis|Sidis, Boris]]
*[[Philip Sidney|Sidney, Philip]]
*[[Sidonius Apollinaris]]
*[[Don Siegel|Siegel, Don]]
*[[Jerry Siegel|Siegel, Jerry]]
*[[Lee Siegel|Siegel, Lee]]
*[[Catherine of Siena|Siena, Catherine of]]
*[[Henryk Sienkiewicz|Sienkiewicz, Henryk]]
*[[Emmanuel-Joseph Sieyès|Sieyès, Emmanuel-Joseph]]
*[[Scott Sigler|Sigler, Scott Carl]]
*[[Lydia Sigourney|Sigourney, Lydia]]
*[[Martti Siirala|Siirala, Martti]]
*[[Wladyslaw Sikorski|Sikorski, Wladyslaw]]
*[[Haris Silajdžić|Silajdžić, Haris]]
*[[William the Silent|Silent, William the]]
*[[Angelus Silesius|Silesius, Angelus]]
*[[Joseph Silk|Silk, Joseph]]
*[[Stirling Silliphant|Silliphant, Stirling]]
*[[Alan Sillitoe|Sillitoe, Alan]]
*[[Beverly Sills|Sills, Beverly]]
*[[Ignazio Silone|Silone, Ignazio]]
*[[Desmond de Silva|Silva, Desmond de]]
*[[Marina Silva|Silva, Marina]]
*[[Thiago Silva|Silva, Thiago]]
*[[Nate Silver|Silver, Nathaniel Read &quot;Nate&quot;]]
*[[Adam Silvera|Silvera, Adam]]
*[[Robert Silverberg|Silverberg, Robert]]
*[[David Silverman|Silverman, David]]
*[[Sarah Silverman|Silverman, Sarah]]
*[[Shel Silverstein|Silverstein, Shel]]
*[[Alicia Silverstone|Silverstone, Alicia]]
*[[Dave Sim|Sim, Dave]]
*[[Clifford D. Simak|Simak, Clifford D.]]
*[[Georges Simenon|Simenon, Georges]]
*[[Charles Simic|Simic, Charles]]
*[[Michael Simms (software developer)|Simms, Michael]] (software developer)
*[[DMX (rapper)|Simmons, Earl]]
*[[Gene Simmons|Simmons, Gene]]
*[[Jamal Simmons|Simmons, Jamal]]
*[[Jean Simmons|Simmons, Jean]]
*[[Carly Simon|Simon, Carly]]
*[[Gilles Simon|Simon, Gilles]]
*[[Herbert Simon|Simon, Herbert]]
*[[Julian Simon|Simon, Julian]]
*[[Neil Simon|Simon, Neil]]
*[[Paul Simon|Simon, Paul]]
*[[S. J. Simon|Simon, S. J.]]
*[[Gilbert Simondon|Simondon, Gilbert]]
*[[Simonides of Ceos]]
*[[Paul Simonon|Simonon, Paul]]
*[[Menno Simons|Simons, Menno]]
*[[Paullina Simons|Simons, Paullina]]
*[[Alan K. Simpson|Simpson, Alan K.]]
*[[Ashlee Simpson|Simpson, Ashlee]]
*[[Jessica Simpson|Simpson, Jessica]]
*[[Louis Simpson|Simpson, Louis]]
*[[Matthew Simpson|Simpson, Matthew]]
*[[George Robert Sims|Sims, George Robert]]
*[[Frank Sinatra|Sinatra, Frank]]
*[[Marion Sinclair|Sinclair, Marion]]
*[[Upton Sinclair|Sinclair, Upton]]
*[[Isaac Bashevis Singer|Singer, Isaac Bashevis]]
*[[Margaret Singer|Singer, Margaret]]
*[[Peter Singer|Singer, Peter]]
*[[Ajaib Singh|Singh, Ajaib]]
*[[Bhagat Singh|Singh, Bhagat]]
*[[Jeev Milkha Singh|Singh, Jeev Milkha]]
*[[Khushwant Singh|Singh, Khushwant]]
*[[Manmohan Singh|Singh, Manmohan]]
*[[Pratap Singh|Singh, Raman Pratap]]
*[[Simon Singh|Singh, Simon]]
*[[Vijay R. Singh|Singh, Sir Vijay]]
*[[Alfred Percy Sinnett|Sinnett, Alfred Percy]]
*[[Jean Sirmond|Sirmond, Jean]]
*[[Ali Sistani|Sistani, Ali]]
*[[Kano Sisters|Sisters, Kano]]
*[[Edith Sitwell|Sitwell, Edith]]
*[[Osbert Sitwell|Sitwell, Osbert]]
*[[Swami Sivananda|Sivananda, Swami]]
*[[Pope Sixtus I|Sixtus I (pope)]]
*[[Pope Sixtus V|Sixtus V (pope)]]
*[[Ted Sizer|Sizer, Ted]]

===Sj–Sm===
*[[John Skelton|Skelton, John]]
*[[B. F. Skinner|Skinner, B. F.]]
*[[Dennis Skinner|Skinner, Dennis]]
*[[Otto Skorzeny|Skorzeny, Otto]]
*[[Slash (musician)|Slash]] (musician)
*[[John C. Slater|Slater, John C.]]
*[[Nigel Slater|Slater, Nigel]]
*[[Leo Slezak|Slezak, Leo]]
*[[Grace Slick|Slick, Grace]]
*[[John Sloan|Sloan, John]]
*[[Joan Slonczewski|Slonczewski, Joan]]
*[[Mark Slouka|Slouka, Mark]]
*[[Adrian Slywotzky|Slywotzky, Adrian]]
*[[Richard Smalley|Smalley, Richard]]
*[[Christopher Smart|Smart, Christopher]]
*[[Samuel Smiles|Smiles, Samuel]]
*[[Adam Smith|Smith, Adam]]
*[[Alexander McCall Smith|Smith, Alexander McCall]]
*[[Alexander Smith|Smith, Alexander]]
*[[Anna Deavere Smith|Smith, Anna Deavere]]
*[[Anna Nicole Smith|Smith, Anna Nicole]]
*[[Anthony D. Smith|Smith, Anthony D.]]
*[[Danez Smith|Smith, Danez]]
*[[David Smith|Smith, David]]
*[[E. E. Smith|Smith, E. E.]]
*[[Elliott Smith|Smith, Elliott]]
*[[Emmitt Smith|Smith, Emmitt]]
*[[F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead|Smith, F. E., 1st Earl of Birkenhead]]
*[[George Albert Smith|Smith, George Albert]]
*[[Gordon Smith|Smith, Gordon]]
*[[Henry John Stephen Smith|Smith, Henry John Stephen]]
*[[Horace Smith|Smith, Horace]]
*[[Huston Smith|Smith, Huston]]
*[[Ian Smith|Smith, Ian]]
*[[James Smith|Smith, James]]
*[[Joan Smith|Smith, Joan]]
*[[John Maynard Smith|Smith, John Maynard]]
*[[John Smith (explorer)|Smith, John]] (explorer)
*[[John Smith (Labour Party leader)|Smith, John]] (Labour Party leader)
*[[Joseph F. Smith|Smith, Joseph F.]]
*[[Joseph Smith, Jr.|Smith, Joseph, Jr.]]
*[[Kevin Smith|Smith, Kevin]]
*[[L. Neil Smith|Smith, L. Neil]]
*[[Langdon Smith|Smith, Langdon]]
*[[Leighton W. Smith, Jr.|Smith, Leighton W., Jr.]]
*[[Lillian Smith (author)|Smith, Lillian]] (author)	
*[[Linda Smith|Smith, Linda]]
*[[Logan Pearsall Smith|Smith, Logan Pearsall]]
*[[Lucy Mack Smith|Smith, Lucy Mack]]
*[[Margaret Chase Smith|Smith, Margaret Chase]]
*[[Matt Smith (actor)|Smith, Matt]] (actor)
*[[Michael B. Smith|Smith, Michael B.]]
*[[Michael Marshall Smith|Smith, Michael Marshall]]
*[[Oliver P. Smith|Smith, Oliver P.]]
*[[Patti Smith|Smith, Patti]]
*[[Paul Smith (musician)|Smith, Paul]]
*[[Robert Smith (musician)|Smith, Robert]]
*[[Roger Smith (executive)|Smith, Roger]] (executive)
*[[Samuel Francis Smith|Smith, Samuel Francis]]
*[[Seba Smith|Smith, Seba]]
*[[Shepard Smith|Smith, David Shepard, Jr.]]
*[[Sherwood Smith|Smith, Sherwood]]
*[[Stephen A. Smith|Smith, Stephen A.]]
*[[Stevie Smith|Smith, Stevie]]
*[[Sydney Smith|Smith, Sydney]]
*[[Tammy Smith|Smith, Tammy]]
*[[Tommy Smith (footballer born 1945)|Smith, Tommy]]
*[[Vernon L. Smith|Smith, Vernon L.]]
*[[Will Smith|Smith, Will]]
*[[Zadie Smith|Smith, Zadie]]
*[[Robert Smithson|Smithson, Robert]]
*[[Jimmy Smits|Smits, Jimmy]]
*[[Tobias Smollett|Smollett, Tobias]]
*[[George Smoot|Smoot, George]]
*[[Raymond Smullyan|Smullyan, Raymond]]
*[[Jan Smuts|Smuts, Jan Christiaan]]

===Sn–So===
*[[John Snaith|Snaith, John]]
*[[Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut|Snepscheut, Jan L. A. van de]]
*[[Todd Snider|Snider, Todd]]
*[[Snoop Dogg]] (Calvin Cordozar Broadus)
*[[C. P. Snow|Snow, C. P.]]
*[[Lorenzo Snow|Snow, Lorenzo]]
*[[Tony Snow|Snow, Tony]]
*[[Edward Snowden|Snowden, Edward]]
*[[Philip Snowden, 1st Viscount Snowden|Snowden, Philip, 1st Viscount Snowden]]
*[[Olympia Snowe|Snowe, Olympia]]
*[[Gary Snyder|Snyder, Gary]]
*[[Socrates]]
*[[Frederick Soddy|Soddy, Frederick]]
*[[Antonio Simeone Sografi|Sografi, Antonio Simeone]]
*[[Ithiel de Sola Pool|Sola Pool, Ithiel de]]
*[[Valerie Solanas|Solanas, Valerie]]
*[[Hilda Solis|Solis, Hilda]]
*[[Octavio Solis|Solis, Octavio]]
*[[Philippe Sollers|Sollers, Philippe]]
*[[Hope Solo|Solo, Hope Amelia]]
*[[Solomon]]
*[[Rivers Solomon|Solomon, Rivers]]
*[[Solon]]
*[[Simon Soloveychik|Soloveychik, Simon]]
*[[Robert Solow|Solow, Robert]]
*[[Georg Solti|Solti, Sir Georg]]
*[[Ernest Solvay|Solvay, Ernest]]
*[[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn|Solzhenitsyn, Aleksandr]]
*[[Nicolaus Sombart|Sombart, Nicolaus]]
*[[Werner Sombart|Sombart, Werner]]
*[[William Somervile|Somervile, William]]
*[[Arnold Sommerfeld|Sommerfeld, Arnold]]
*[[Stephen Sondheim|Sondheim, Stephen]]
*[[Susan Sontag|Sontag, Susan]]
*[[Sophocles]]
*[[Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji|Sorabji, Kaikhosru Shapurji]]
*[[Annika Sörenstam‎|Sörenstam‎, Annika]]
*[[Aaron Sorkin|Sorkin, Aaron]]
*[[Pitirim Sorokin|Sorokin, Pitirim]]
*[[George Soros|Soros, George]]
*[[Natsume Soseki|Soseki, Natsume]]
*[[Gary Soto|Soto, Gary]]
*[[Jesús Huerta de Soto|Soto, Jesús Huerta de]]
*[[Sonia Sotomayor|Sotomayor, Sonia]]
*[[Ahdaf Soueif|Soueif, Ahdaf]]
*[[Pierre Soulages|Soulages, Pierre]]
*[[Jeremy Soule|Soule, Jeremy]]
*[[Sister Souljah|Souljah, Sister]]
*[[Aristides de Sousa Mendes|Sousa Mendes, Aristides de]]
*[[William Soutar|Soutar,William]]
*[[Brian Souter|Souter, Brian]]
*[[Robert South|South, Robert]]
*[[Thomas Southerne|Southerne, Thomas]]
*[[Robert Southey|Southey, Robert]]
*[[Robert Southwell|Southwell, Robert]]
*[[Bruno de Souza|Souza, Bruno de]]
*[[Thomas Sowell|Sowell, Thomas]]
*[[Raphael Soyer|Soyer, Raphael]]
*[[Wole Soyinka|Soyinka, Wole]]
*[[Harry E. Soyster|Soyster, Harry E.]]

===Sp–Sr===
*[[Paul-Henri Spaak|Spaak, Paul-Henri]]
*[[Kevin Spacey|Spacey, Kevin]]
*[[David Spade|Spade, David]]
*[[James Spader|Spader, James]]
*[[Gene Spafford|Spafford, Gene]]
*[[Esperanza Spalding|Spalding, Esperanza]]
*[[John Lancaster Spalding|Spalding, John Lancaster]]
*[[Max Sparber|Sparber, Max]]
*[[Muriel Spark|Spark, Muriel]]
*[[Jordin Sparks|Sparks, Jordin]]
*[[Theresa Sparks|Sparks, Theresa]]
*[[Elbridge G. Spaulding|Spaulding, Elbridge Gerry]]
*[[Britney Spears|Spears, Britney]]
*[[Arlen Specter|Specter, Arlen]]
*[[Albert Speer|Speer, Albert]]
*[[Jackie Speier|Speier, Jackie]]
*[[Regina Spektor|Spektor, Regina]]
*[[E. Lee Spence|Spence, E. Lee]]
*[[Gerry Spence|Spence, Gerry]]
*[[Herbert Spencer|Spencer, Herbert]]
*[[Ichabod Spencer|Spencer, Ichabod]]
*[[Robert Spencer|Spencer, Robert]]
*[[Roy Spencer|Spencer, Roy]]
*[[Stanley Spencer|Spencer, Stanley]]
*[[William Robert Spencer|Spencer, William Robert]]
*[[G. Spencer-Brown|Spencer-Brown, G.]]
*[[Stephen Spender|Spender, Stephen]]
*[[Oswald Spengler|Spengler, Oswald]]
*[[Edmund Spenser|Spenser, Edmund]]
*[[Sy Sperling|Sperling, Sy]]
*[[Roger Wolcott Sperry|Sperry, Roger Wolcott]]
*[[Art Spiegelman|Spiegelman, Art]]
*[[Steven Spielberg|Spielberg, Steven]]
*[[Mickey Spillane|Spillane, Mickey]]
*[[Jerry Spinelli|Spinelli, Jerry]]
*[[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza, Baruch]]
*[[African Spir|Spir, African]]
*[[Eliot Spitzer|Spitzer, Eliot]]
*[[Benjamin Spock|Spock, Benjamin]]
*[[Harriet Elizabeth Prescott Spofford|Spofford, Harriet Elizabeth Prescott]]
*[[Viola Spolin|Spolin, Viola]]
*[[Joel Spolsky|Spolsky, Joel]]
*[[Lysander Spooner|Spooner, Lysander]]
*[[Charles Sprague|Sprague, Charles]]
*[[Gardiner Spring|Spring, Gardiner]]
*[[Jerry Springer|Springer, Jerry]]
*[[Tom Springfield|Springfield, Tom]]
*[[Bruce Springsteen|Springsteen, Bruce]]
*[[Charles Spurgeon|Spurgeon, Charles Haddon]]
*[[Khanoda Squillace|Squillace, Khanoda]]
*[[J. C. Squire|Squire, Sir John]]

===St–Sta===
*[[Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke|St John, Henry, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke]]
*[[Dana Stabenow|Stabenow, Dana]]
*[[Walt Stack|Stack, Walt]]
*[[Michael A. Stackpole|Stackpole, Michael A.]]
*[[Joseph Stalin|Stalin, Joseph]]
*[[Richard Stallman|Stallman, Richard M.]]
*[[Sylvester Stallone|Stallone, Sylvester]]
*[[Aleksandar Stamboliyski|Stamboliyski, Aleksandar]]
*[[Theodoros Stamos|Stamos, Theodoros]]
*[[Jill Stanek|Stanek, Jill]]
*[[Jim Stanford|Stanford, Jim]]
*[[Franz Stangl|Stangl, Franz]]
*[[Doug Stanhope|Stanhope, Doug]]
*[[Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield|Stanhope, Philip, 4th Earl of Chesterfield]]
*[[John A. Stankovic|Stankovic, John A.]]
*[[Arthur Penrhyn Stanley|Stanley, Arthur Penrhyn]]
*[[Henry Morton Stanley|Stanley, Henry Morton]]
*[[Vivian Stanshall|Stanshall, Vivian]]
*[[Benjamin Stanton|Stanton, Benjamin]]
*[[Charles E. Stanton|Stanton, Charles E.]]
*[[Edwin M. Stanton|Stanton, Edwin McMasters]]
*[[Elizabeth Cady Stanton|Stanton, Elizabeth Cady]]
*[[Harry Dean Stanton|Stanton, Harry Dean]]
*[[Barbara Stanwyck|Stanwyck, Barbara]]
*[[Olaf Stapledon|Stapledon, Olaf]]
*[[John Stapp|Stapp, John]]
*[[Mazzy Star|Star, Mazzy]]
*[[Achille Starace|Starace, Achille]]
*[[Starhawk]]
*[[Becky Stark|Stark, Becky]]
*[[Freya Stark|Stark, Freya]]
*[[Pete Stark|Stark, Pete]]
*[[Jim Starlin|Starlin, Jim]]
*[[Szymon Starowolski|Starowolski, Szymon]]
*[[Earnest V. Starr|Starr, Earnest V.]]
*[[Ringo Starr|Starr, Ringo]]
*[[Vincent Starrett|Starrett, Vincent]]
*[[Statius]]

===Ste===
*[[Ralph Steadman|Steadman, Ralph]]
*[[Susan Stebbing|Stebbing, Susan]]
*[[G. Ledyard Stebbins|Stebbins, G. Ledyard]]
*[[Edmund Clarence Stedman|Stedman, Edmund Clarence]]
*[[Doctor Steel|Steel, Doctor]]
*[[Anne Steele|Steele, Anne]]
*[[Peter Steele|Steele, Peter]]
*[[Richard Steele|Steele, Richard]]
*[[Shelby Steele|Steele, Shelby]]
*[[Stefán Karl Stefánsson|Stefánsson, Stefán Karl]]
*[[Alex Steffen|Steffen, Alex]]
*[[Wallace Stegner|Stegner, Wallace]]
*[[Edward Steichen|Steichen, Edward]]
*[[Abby Stein|Stein, Abby]]
*[[Ben Stein|Stein, Ben]]
*[[Clarence Stein|Stein, Clarence]]
*[[Edith Stein|Stein, Edith]]
*[[Gertrude Stein|Stein, Gertrude]]
*[[Herbert Stein|Stein, Herbert]]
*[[Jock Stein|Stein, Jock]]
*[[John Steinbeck|Steinbeck, John]]
*[[Jack Steinberger|Steinberger, Jack]]
*[[Gloria Steinem|Steinem, Gloria]]
*[[Achim Steiner|Steiner, Achim]]
*[[George Steiner|Steiner, George]]
*[[Rudolf Steiner|Steiner, Rudolf]]
*[[Jim Steinman|Steinman, Jim]]
*[[Charles Proteus Steinmetz|Steinmetz, Charles Proteus]]
*[[Wilhelm Stekel|Stekel, Wilhelm]]
*[[Frank Stella|Stella, Frank]]
*[[Joseph Stella|Stella, Joseph]]
*[[Irwin Stelzer|Stelzer, Irwin]]
*[[Stendhal]]
*[[Casey Stengel|Stengel, Casey]]
*[[Alexander Stepanov|Stepanov, Alexander]]
*[[George Stephanopoulos|Stephanopoulos, George]]
*[[James Fitzjames Stephen|Stephen, James Fitzjames]]
*[[James Kenneth Stephen|Stephen, James Kenneth]]
*[[Leslie Stephen|Stephen, Leslie]]
*[[Alexander H. Stephens|Stephens, Alexander Hamilton]]
*[[Bret Stephens|Stephens, Bret Louis]]
*[[James Stephens (author)|Stephens, James]] (author)
*[[James Francis Stephens|Stephens, James Francis]]
*[[George Stephenson|Stephenson, George]]
*[[Neal Stephenson|Stephenson, Neal]]
*[[Bruce Sterling|Sterling, Bruce]]
*[[Gladys Bronwyn Stern|Stern, Gladys Bronwyn]]
*[[Howard Stern|Stern, Howard]]
*[[Nicholas Stern, Baron Stern of Brentford|Stern, Nicholas, Baron Stern of Brentford]]
*[[Otto Stern|Stern, Otto]]
*[[Laurence Sterne|Sterne, Laurence]]
*[[Thomas Sternhold|Sternhold, Thomas]]
*[[Edward R. Stettinius|Stettinius, Edward R.]]
*[[Preston and Steve|Steve, Preston and]]
*[[Cat Stevens|Stevens, Cat]]
*[[John Paul Stevens|Stevens, John Paul]]
*[[Jose Stevens|Stevens, Jose]]
*[[Michael Stevens|Stevens, Michael]]
*[[Sufjan Stevens|Stevens, Sufjan]]
*[[Ted Stevens|Stevens, Ted]]
*[[Thaddeus Stevens|Stevens, Thaddeus]]
*[[Wallace Stevens|Stevens, Wallace]]
*[[Adlai Stevenson|Stevenson, Adlai]]
*[[Ian Stevenson|Stevenson, Ian]]
*[[Robert Louis Stevenson|Stevenson, Robert Louis]]
*[[William Stevenson|Stevenson, William]]
*[[Jimmy Stewart|Stewart, James (Jimmy)]]
*[[Jon Stewart|Stewart, Jon]]
*[[Kristen Stewart|Stewart, Kristen]]
*[[Martha Stewart|Stewart, Martha]]
*[[Mary Stewart|Stewart, Mary]]
*[[Potter Stewart|Stewart, Potter]]
*[[Steve Stewart-Williams|Stewart-Williams, Steve]]
*[[Mark Steyn|Steyn, Mark]]

===Sti–Sty===
*[[Joseph E. Stiglitz|Stiglitz, Joseph E.]]
*[[Julia Stiles|Stiles, Julia]]
*[[Clyfford Still|Still, Clyfford]]
*[[Ben Stiller|Stiller, Ben]]
*[[Jeff Stilson|Stilson, Jeff]]
*[[Henry L. Stimson|Stimson, Henry L.]]
*[[R. L. Stine|Stine, R. L.]]
*[[Sting (musician)|Sting]] (musician)
*[[S. M. Stirling|Stirling, S. M.]]
*[[Max Stirner|Stirner, Max]]
*[[Dal Stivens|Stivens, Dal]]
*[[Karlheinz Stockhausen|Stockhausen, Karlheinz]]
*[[John Stockwell|Stockwell, John]]
*[[Richard Henry Stoddard|Stoddard, Richard Henry]]
*[[Bram Stoker|Stoker, Bram]]
*[[Sir George Stokes, 1st Baronet|Stokes, Sir George, 1st Baronet]]
*[[Leopold Stokowski|Stokowski, Leopold]]
*[[Jens Stoltenberg|Stoltenberg, Jens]]
*[[Pyotr Stolypin|Stolypin, Pyotr]]
*[[Harlan F. Stone|Stone, Harlan F.]]
*[[I. F. Stone|Stone, I. F.]]
*[[Lucy Stone|Stone, Lucy]]
*[[Nic Stone|Stone, Nic]]
*[[Oliver Stone|Stone, Oliver]]
*[[Sharon Stone|Stone, Sharon]]
*[[W. Clement Stone|Stone, W. Clement]]
*[[William Stone (Maryland governor)|Stone, William]] (Maryland governor)
*[[Tom Stoppard|Stoppard, Tom]]
*[[Horst Ludwig Störmer|Störmer, Horst Ludwig]]
*[[Richard Salter Storrs|Storrs, Richard Salter]]
*[[Joseph Story|Story, Joseph]]
*[[William Wetmore Story|Story, William Wetmore]]
*[[John Stossel|Stossel, John]]
*[[William Stoughton|Stoughton, William]]
*[[Rex Stout|Stout, Rex]]
*[[David Stove|Stove, David]]
*[[Jessica Mae Stover|Stover, Jessica Mae]]
*[[Matthew Stover|Stover, Matthew]]
*[[Harriet Beecher Stowe|Stowe, Harriet Beecher]]
*[[Madeleine Stowe|Stowe, Madeleine]]
*[[William Scott, 1st Baron Stowell|Stowell, William Scott, 1st Baron]]
*[[Strabo]]
*[[Lytton Strachey|Strachey, Lytton]]
*[[J. Michael Straczynski|Straczynski, J. Michael]]
*[[Lynn Strait|Strait, Lynn]]
*[[Gregor Strasser|Strasser, Gregor]]
*[[Julio Carlos Strassera|Strassera, Julio Carlos]]
*[[Tony Banks|Stratford, Lord]] (Tony Banks)
*[[Avner Strauss|Strauss, Avner]]
*[[Leo Strauss|Strauss, Leo]]
*[[Neil Strauss|Strauss, Neil]]
*[[Richard Strauss|Strauss, Richard]]
*[[Igor Stravinsky|Stravinsky, Igor]]
*[[John F. Street|Street, John F.]]
*[[Arthur Streeton|Streeton, Arthur]]
*[[Julius Streicher|Streicher, Julius]]
*[[Barbra Streisand|Streisand, Barbra]]
*[[Whitley Strieber|Strieber, Whitley]]
*[[Tami Stronach|Stronach, Tami]]
*[[Maurice Strong|Strong, Maurice]]
*[[Roy Strong|Strong, Roy]]
*[[Charles Stross|Stross, Charles]]
*[[Jonathan Stroud|Stroud, Jonathan]]
*[[Bjarne Stroustrup|Stroustrup, Bjarne]]
*[[Giovan Battista Strozzi|Strozzi, Giovan Battista]]
*[[Joe Strummer|Strummer, Joe]]
*[[Jan Struther|Struther, Jan]]
*[[Sally Struthers|Struthers, Sally]]
*[[John Strutt, 3rd Baron Rayleigh|Strutt, John, 3rd Baron Rayleigh]]
*[[Jesse Stuart|Stuart, Jesse]]
*[[Leslie Stuart|Stuart, Leslie]]
*[[Alexander Stubb|Stubb, Alexander]]
*[[William Stubbs|Stubbs, William]]
*[[C. T. Studd|Studd, C. T.]]
*[[Kurt Student|Student, Kurt]]
*[[William Stukeley|Stukeley, William]]
*[[Patrick Stump|Stump, Patrick]]
*[[Theodore Sturgeon|Sturgeon, Theodore]]
*[[William Sturgeon|Sturgeon, William]]
*[[Peter Stuyvesant|Stuyvesant, Peter]]
*[[William Styron|Styron, William]]

===Su–Sz===
*[[Su Wu]]
*[[Daniel Suarez|Suarez, Daniel]]
*[[Rose Rosengard Subotnick|Subotnick, Rose Rosengard]]
*[[Orest Subtelny|Subtelny, Orest]]
*[[John Suckling|Suckling, John]]
*[[George Sudarshan|Sudarshan, George]]
*[[Suetonius]]
*[[Alan Sugar|Sugar, Alan]]
*[[Sukarno]]
*[[Lala Sukuna|Sukuna, Ratu Sir Lala]]
*[[Lucius Cornelius Sulla|Sulla, Lucius Cornelius]]
*[[Margaret Sullavan|Sullavan, Margaret]]
*[[Susan Ann Sulley|Sulley, Susan Ann (née Gayle)]]
*[[Andrew Sullivan|Sullivan, Andrew]]
*[[Arthur Sullivan|Sullivan, Arthur]]
*[[Louis Sullivan|Sullivan, Louis]]
*[[Tipu Sultan|Sultan, Tipu]]
*[[Wafa Sultan|Sultan, Wafa]]
*[[Richard Summerbell|Summerbell, Richard]]
*[[Henry Summers|Summers, Henry]]
*[[Lawrence Summers|Summers, Lawrence]]
*[[Charles Sumner|Sumner, Charles]]
*[[Nilaja Sun|Sun, Nilaja]]
*[[Sun Tzu]]
*[[Billy Sunday|Sunday, Billy]]
*[[Peter Sunde|Sunde, Peter]]
*[[Abby Sunderland|Sunderland, Abby]]
*[[John E. Sununu|Sununu, John E.]]
*[[Patrick Suppes|Suppes, Patrick]]
*[[Al B. Sure!|Sure!, Al B.]]
*[[Robert Smith Surtees|Surtees, Robert Smith]]
*[[Leonard Susskind|Susskind, Leonard]]
*[[George Sutherland|Sutherland, George]]
*[[Graham Sutherland|Sutherland, Graham]]
*[[Kiefer Sutherland|Sutherland, Kiefer]]
*[[Alexander Suvorov|Suvorov, Alexander]]
*[[Helen Suzman|Suzman, Helen]]
*[[D. T. Suzuki|Suzuki, D. T.]]
*[[David Suzuki|Suzuki, David]]
*[[Shunryu Suzuki|Suzuki, Shunryu]]
*[[Italo Svevo|Svevo, Italo]]
*[[Caridad Svich|Svich, Caridad]]
*[[Jimmy Swaggart|Swaggart, Jimmy]]
*[[Bhakti Tirtha Swami|Swami, Bhakti Tirtha]]
*[[Radhanath Swami|Swami, Radhanath]]
*[[Gloria Swanson|Swanson, Gloria]]
*[[Aaron Swartz|Swartz, Aaron]]
*[[Ram Swarup|Swarup, Ram]]
*[[Emanuel Swedenborg|Swedenborg, Emanuel]]
*[[John Sweeney (journalist)|Sweeney, John]]
*[[Skye Sweetnam|Sweetnam, Skye]]
*[[Sophie Swetchine|Swetchine, Sophie]]
*[[Jonathan Swift|Swift, Jonathan]]
*[[Patrick Swift|Swift, Patrick]]
*[[Taylor Swift|Swift, Taylor]]
*[[Brian Swimme|Swimme, Brian]]
*[[Algernon Charles Swinburne|Swinburne, Algernon Charles]]
*[[Barry Switzer|Switzer, Barry]]
*[[Algernon Sydney|Sydney, Algernon]]
*[[Buddy de Sylva|Sylva, Buddy de]]
*[[James Joseph Sylvester|Sylvester, James Joseph]]
*[[Joshua Sylvester|Sylvester, Joshua]]
*[[Charles Sykes|Sykes, Charles Jay &quot;Charlie&quot;]]
*[[John Addington Symonds|Symonds, John Addington]]
*[[Arthur Symons|Symons, Arthur]]
*[[Red Symons|Symons, Red]]
*[[John Millington Synge|Synge, John Millington]]
*[[Ephrem the Syrian|Syrian, Ephrem the]]
*[[Publilius Syrus|Syrus, Publilius]]
*[[John Szarkowski|Szarkowski, John]]
*[[Thomas Szasz|Szasz, Thomas]]
*[[Stefan Szczesny|Szczesny, Stefan]]
*[[Albert Szent-Györgyi|Szent-Györgyi, Albert]]
*[[Leó Szilárd|Szilárd, Leó]]
*[[Karol Szymanowski|Szymanowski, Karol]]
*[[Wisława Szymborska|Szymborska, Wisława]]

[[Category:Lists of people|S]]
[[Category:Names]]</text>
      <sha1>ej6blh8jeuw7m5yj1vbjpfbjm1htt1s</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Spartacus (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>84174</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154617</id>
      <parentid>2985201</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:28:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Beestalman</username>
        <id>440730</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Tidied code.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10274" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Spartacus - 1960 - poster.png|thumb]]
[[File:Serment de Spartacus Barrias.jpg |thumb|right|I am [[w:Spartacus|Spartacus]]!]]
'''''[[w:Spartacus (film)|Spartacus]]''''' is a [[w:1960 in film|1960 film]] about the slave [[w:Spartacus|Spartacus]], who leads a violent revolt against the decadent Roman Republic during the [[w:Third Servile War|Third Servile War]].
:''Directed by [[Stanley Kubrick]]. Written by [[Dalton Trumbo]], based on the [[w:Spartacus (Fast novel)|novel of the same name]] by [[w:Howard Fast|Howard Fast]].''
{{center|'''The thrilling adventure that electrified the world!'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== [[w:Spartacus|Spartacus]] ==
[[File:Fedor Bronnikov 006.jpg|thumb|right|We must fight again once more. Maybe there's no peace in this world, for us or for anyone else, I don't know. But I do know that as long as we live, we must remain true to ourselves.]]
[[File:Ave Caesar Morituri te Salutant (Gérôme) 01.jpg|thumb|right|Good luck, and may fortune smile upon... most of you.]]

* I'd rather be here, a free man among brothers, facing a long march and a hard fight, than the richest citizen in Rome: fat with food he didn't work for, and surrounded by slaves.
* We've traveled a long ways together. We've fought many battles and won many victories. Now, instead of taking ships to our homes across the sea, we must fight again once more. Maybe there's no peace in this world, for us or for anyone else, I don't know. But I do know that as long as we live, we must remain true to ourselves.
* When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That's why he's not afraid of it. That's why we'll win.
* I am Spartacus!
* [[w:Crixus|Crixus]] always wanted to march on Rome. Now he doesn't have to. Rome has come to us.
* He'll come back. He'll come back, and he'll be millions!

==[[w:Lentulus Batiatus|Batiatus]]==

* Good luck, and may fortune smile upon... most of you.
* But I'm a civilian. I'm more of a civilian than most civilians.

==[[w:Marcus Licinius Crassus|Marcus Licinius Crassus]]==

* If there was no Rome, I'd dream of her. If there were no gods, I'd revere them.
* I promise you, a new Rome, a new Italy and a new empire. I promise the destruction of the slave army, and the restoration of order. I promise the living body of Spartacus for whatever punishment you may deem fit. That, or his head. This I have sworn, in the name of my fathers, in the temple that guards their bones.
* I'm not after glory, I'm after Spartacus! And gentlemen, I mean to have him. However, this campaign is not about killing Spartacus. It is to kill the legend of Spartacus.
* One of the disadvantages of being a patrician is that occasionally you're obliged to act like one.

== Gracchus ==
* You know, this republic of ours is something like a rich widow. Most Romans love her as their mother, but Crassus dreams of marrying the old girl, to put it politely.

== Dialogue ==
[[File:5791 Arenes NIM 6062 C Recoura.jpg|thumb|right|I don't want to know your name.]]
[[File:Jean-Leon Gerome Pollice Verso.jpg|thumb|right|Gladiators don't make friends. If we're ever matched in the arena together, I have to kill you.]]

:'''Spartacus''': What is your name?
:'''Draba''': You don't want to know mine. I don't want to know your name. 
:'''Spartacus''': Just a friendly question.
:'''Draba''': Gladiators don't make friends. If we're ever matched in the arena together, I have to kill you.

&lt;hr width=''50%''/&gt;
:'''Dionysus''': ''[watching two Roman nobles being forced by a slave on horseback to fight to the death]'' Ah-ha ha! Come on, fat boy! Yeah!
:'''Slaves''': ''[as Spartacus enters the arena]'' Spartacus! Hey, Spartacus!
:'''Spartacus''': Noble Romans, fight each other like animals. ''[gestures to the slaves on the balcony]'' Your new masters, betting to see who'll die first. ''[the slaves laugh]'' Drop your weapons. ''[the slaves start booing]''
:'''Slaves''': No! No! No! No!
:'''Crixus''': I want to see their blood, right here where Draba died! ''[jumps down and draws his sword]'' When I fight matched pairs, they fight to the death!
:'''Spartacus''': I made myself a promise, Crixus. I swore that if I ever get out of this place, I'd die before I saw two men fight to the death again. Draba made that promise too. He kept it, so will I. ''[turns to the nobles]'' Go on. Get up! ''[Spartacus turns to the slaves as the nobles scurry out of the arena]'' What are we, Crixus? What are we becoming, Romans? What's happening to us? Have we learned nothing? We hunt wine when we should be looking for bread.
:'''Dionysus''': When you got wine, you don't need bread!
:'''Spartacus''': You can't just be a gang of drunken raiders.
:'''Dionysus''': What else can we be?
:'''Spartacus''': Gladiators, an army of gladiators. There's never been an army like that. One gladiator is worth any two Roman soldiers that ever lived.
:'''Crixus''': We beat the Romans guards here, but a Roman army is different. They fight different than we do, too.
:'''Spartacus''': We can beat anything they send against us if we really want to.
:'''Crixus''': It takes a big army.
:'''Spartacus''': We'll have a big army. Once we're on the march, we'll free every slave in every town and village. Can anybody get a bigger army than that?
:'''Dionysus''': That's right. Once we cross the Alps, we're safe.
:'''Crixus''': Nobody can cross the Alps. Every pass is defended by its own legion.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Spartacus''': Stand up. On your feet. Stand up, the way a noble Roman should.
:'''Slave''': That's Roman pride for you, Spartacus! ''[the slaves laugh]''
:'''Spartacus''': That's better. What's your name?
:'''Glabrus''': Marcus, Glabrus.
:'''Spartacus''': Glabrus.
:'''Glabrus''': Commander of the Garrison of Rome!
:'''Spartacus''': Commander?
:'''Crixus''': He was commanding it on his belly when we found him, playing dead! ''[the slaves laugh]''
:'''Spartacus''': You disappoint me, Marcus Glabrus, playing dead. You afraid to die? It's easy to die. Haven't you seen enough gladiators in the arena to see how easy it is to die?
:'''Glabrus''': Why...what are you going to do to me?
:'''Spartacus''': I don't know. ''[turns to the slaves]'' What should we do with him?
:'''Dionysus''': Let's have a matched pair, him and me! ''[the slaves laugh]''
:'''Glabrus''': I'll not fight like a gladiator!
:'''Spartacus''': ''[showing Glabrus a Roman baton]'' You keep staring at this. You recognize this baton?
:'''Glabrus''': Yes.
:'''Spartacus''': You should! It was in your tent. ''[holds up the baton]'' The symbol of the Senate! All the power of Rome! ''[grips and snaps the baton in two]''
:'''Dionysus''': That's the power of Rome!
:'''Spartacus''': ''[thrusting the broken baton at Glabrus]'' Take that back to your senate. Tell them you and that broken stick is all that's left of the garrison of Rome! Tell them we want nothing from Rome, ''nothing,'' except our freedom!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Crassus''': Do you steal?
:'''Antoninus''': No, master.
:'''Crassus''': Do you lie?
:'''Antoninus''': Not if I can avoid it.
:'''Crassus'''': Have you... ever dishonored the gods?
:'''Antoninus''': No, master.
:'''Crassus'''': Do you refrain from these vices out of respect for moral virtues?
:'''Antoninus''': Yes, master.
:'''Crassus''': Do you eat oysters?
:'''Antoninus''': When I have them, master.
:'''Crassus''': Do you eat snails?
:'''Antoninus''': No, master. 
:'''Crassus''': Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral, and the eating of snails to be immoral?
:'''Antoninus''': No, master.
:'''Crassus''': Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it?
:'''Antoninus''': Yes, master.
:'''Crassus''': And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals, hmm?
:'''Antoninus''': It could be argued so, master.
:'''Crassus''': My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters. ''[approaches a balcony]'' Antoninus, look, across the river. There is something you must see. ''[looking toward Rome, as the garrison sets out]'' There, boy, is Rome. The might, the majesty, the terror of Rome. There is the power that bestrides the known world like a colossus. No man can withstand Rome. No nation can withstand her. How much less... a boy! Hmm? ''[chuckles]'' There is one way to deal with Rome, Antoninus. You must serve her. You must abase yourself before her. You must grovel at her feet. You must... love her. Isn't that so, Antoninus? ''[turns around, and sees Antoninus gone]'' Antoninus? Antoninus?

== Taglines ==
* The thrilling adventure that electrified the world!
* Electrifying Excitement!
* They trained him to kill for their pleasure. . .but they trained him a little too well. . .
* It roars with fierce excitement!
* More titanic than any story ever told!

== Cast ==
* [[Kirk Douglas]] - Spartacus
* [[Laurence Olivier]] - [[w:Marcus Licinius Crassus|Crassus]]
* [[Jean Simmons]] - Varinia
* [[w:Charles Laughton|Charles Laughton]] - Gracchus
* [[Peter Ustinov]] - [[w:Lentulus Batiatus|Batiatus]]
* [[w:Tony Curtis|Tony Curtis]] - Antoninus
* [[w:John Gavin|John Gavin]] - [[Julius Caesar]]
* [[w:John Dall|John Dall]] - Marcus Glabrus
* [[w:Nina Foch|Nina Foch]] - Helena Glabrus
* [[w:John Ireland (actor)|John Ireland]] - [[w:Crixus|Crixus]]
* [[Herbert Lom]] - Tigranes Levantus (pirate envoy)
* [[w:Charles McGraw|Charles McGraw]] - Marcellus
* [[w:Joanna Barnes|Joanna Barnes]] - Claudia Marius
* [[w:Harold J. Stone|Harold J. Stone]] - David
* [[w:Woody Strode|Woody Strode]] - Draba
* [[w:Peter Brocco|Peter Brocco]] - Ramon
* Paul Lambert - Gannicus
* [[w:Robert J. Wilke|Robert J. Wilke]] - Guard Captain
* [[w:Nick Dennis|Nick Dennis]] - Dionysius
* [[w:John Hoyt|John Hoyt]] - Caius

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=1019544-spartacus|title=Spartacus}}
* [http://www.criterion.com/asp/release.asp?id=105&amp;eid=16&amp;section=essay Criterion Collection essay by Stephen Farber]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IAmSpartacus &quot;I Am Spartacus&quot; at ''TV Tropes Wiki'']

[[Category:1960 films]]
[[Category:Epic films]]
[[Category:Historical dramas]]
[[Category:Films directed by Stanley Kubrick]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Kung Fu Panda</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>86257</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154669</id>
      <parentid>3145436</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:52:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:183:C700:68D0:6D4E:5FC0:582F:A065</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="31067" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Kung Fu Panda|Kung Fu Panda]]''''' is a [[w:2008 in film|2008]] animated film about an obese and clumsy panda who finds himself designated the prophesied Dragon Warrior, much to the disbelief of his would be peers. 
:''Directed by [[w:John Stevenson|John Stevenson]] and [[w:Mark Osborne|Mark Osborne]]. Written by [[w:Jonathan Aibel|Jonathan Aibel]] and [[w:Glenn Berger|Glenn Berger]].''

{{center|'''Prepare For Awesomeness. Pandamonium Begins.''' {{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}}

==Po==
*No! Master! No, no, no, don't die, Shifu, please!?

==Shifu==
*I been take easy panda but no more will be next appointment, then will be me. ''[Po: Oh yeah. Great. Let's go!]''
*Zeng?! Fly you take out of prison, I'll telling to double guards?! Double weapons?! Double anything! Tai-Lung does not leavin' in the prison!? ''[Zeng: Yes, master Shifu]''

==Tai-Lung==
*I have come home master.

==Others==
:'''Guard Rhino''': ''[shocked]'' Oh, no! ''[Zeng: What's happening?!]''

==Dialogue==
:'''Mr. Ping''': Po, what are you doing up there?
:'''Po''': Uh, nothing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Po''': Uh, yeah. It's just...maybe we can find something more suited to my level...
:'''Shifu''': And what level is that?
:'''Po''': Well, you know, I'm not a master, but, uh, Let's just start at 0; Level 0.
:'''Shifu:''' Oh, no. There is no such thing as Level 0.
:'''Po:''' ''[spotted the training dummy]'' Hey! Maybe I can start on that!
:'''Shifu:''' That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist... 
:'''Po''': ''[sees the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions]'' Whoa. the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures. Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same.
:''[Mantis glares at Po as one of his antennae twitches]''
:'''Shifu''': Go ahead, Panda. Show us what you can do.
:''[Po hesitates, seeing the Five watching him.]'' 
:'''Po''': ''[uneasily]'' Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?
:'''Shifu''': Hit it.
:'''Po''': ''[stalling]'' Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my Kung Fu may not be as good as... later on.
:'''Shifu''': Just hit it.
:'''Po''': Uh, okay. ''[looks over at the training dummy]'' What'cha got? You got nothing, cause I got it right here. You pickin' on my friends? ''[quickly shuffles his feet]'' Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin' at you with the crazy feet. What'cha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen ''bear'' style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style. ''[starts chattering like a monkey; Monster raises his eyebrows]'' Or snickety-snake-alike–?
:'''Shifu''': ''[angrily]'' Would you hit it?!
:'''Po''': ''[stops, annoyed]'' All right. ''[gives the dummy a little tap with his fist, making it lean back]''
:'''Shifu''': Try again. A little harder.
:'''Po''': ''[punches the dummy, sending it hurtling backwards]'' Ha! How's tha–? ''[but the dummy swings back, knocking his tooth out and sending him flying into the training hall's obstacle course. The Five start forward, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them. Po accidentally does a split on the moving ropes]'' Oh, that hurts! ''[a spiked pendulum swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[very amused]'' This'll be easier than I thought.
:'''Po''': ''[spills out of the tilting bowl, and wanders to the moving arm guard section]'' Feeling a little nauseous. ''[pushes one arm, starting a chain reaction that causes him to get hit repeatedly in the face, belly, legs, arms...]'' Ow! Oh, those are hard–! ''[...then in the scrotum]'' Ooh-hoo-hoo! ''[drops to knees, rises and covers crotch]'' My tenders! ''[in pain, he rests one hand on a moving arm, starting the whole chain reaction over again, and smacking him into the fire floor area]'' Uh-oh. ''[cut back to Shifu and the Furious Five who wince and look away as we hear fire burning and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt, charred, and weakly]'' How did I do?
:'''Shifu''': ''[chuckles]'' There is ''now''...a Level 0. ''[snuffs out a flame on top of Po's head]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mantis:''' There's no words.
:'''Crane:''' No denying that.
:'''Viper:''' I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
:'''Crane:''' ''[mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically]'' He is ''so'' mighty! The Dragon Warrior - fell out of the sky in a ball of fire!
:'''Mantis:''' When he walks, the very ground shakes.
:''[the Furious Five laugh, except Tigress]''
:'''Tigress:''' One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually ''knew'' Kung Fu.
:'''Crane:''' Yeah, or could be at least touch his toes.
:'''Monkey:''' Or even ''see'' his toes.
:''[The Furious Five laugh again]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Trying to get to his room without waking anyone, Po tiptoes through the hallway, only to trip and walk into Crane's room]''
:'''Po''': Oh, hey. Hi, you're, uh...you're up.
:'''Crane''': Am now.
:'''Po''': I was just...Some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?
:'''Crane''': ''[looks at his arms awkwardly]'' Uh...I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.
:'''Po''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
:'''Crane''': OK, thanks.
:'''Po''': It's just– Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered 1001, but you didn't stop. And you just– ''[tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him]'' Oh, sorry about that.
:'''Crane''': Uh, look, you don't belong here.
:'''Po''': ''[sighs in disappointment]'' I know. I know. You're right. I don't have--I just--my whole life, I've dreamed of--
:'''Crane''': No, no, no. I meant you don't belong ''here''. I mean, in this room. This is my room. ''[softly taps his bed with his foot]'' Property of Crane.
:'''Po''': Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.
:''[He leaves, but remains outside the door]''
:'''Crane''': ''[sighs in annoyance]'' Oy.
:'''Po''': ''[peeks his head in]'' What was that?
:'''Crane''': I didn't say anything.
:'''Po''': Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well. ''[closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head]'' Seemed a bit awkward. ''[tries to get to his room despite the creaking noise; Tigress opens her doors annoyed]'' Master Tigress. Didn't mean to wake you. Just, uh–
:'''Tigress''': You don't belong here.
:'''Po''': Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. This is your room.
:'''Tigress''': I mean, you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have ''any'' respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning. ''[slams her doors closed]''
:''[Po, clearly hurt by her words, gropes for a response.]''
:'''Po''': ''[weakly]'' ''Big fan.''
:''[The scene switches to Po standing near a peach tree outside the Jade Palace; Oogway walks up to him]''
:'''Oogway''': I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.
:'''Po''': ''[turns around, holding a bunch of peaches in his arms and mouth]'' Oh, is that what this is? I am so sorry! I thought it was just a regular peach tree.
:'''Oogway''': I understand. You eat when you are upset.
:'''Po''': ''[spits out the peaches]'' Upset? I'm not upset. Why--What makes you think I'm upset?
:'''Oogway''': So, why are you upset?
:'''Po''': ''[sighs]'' I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu, in the history of China, in the history of ''sucking''.
:'''Oogway''': Probably.
:'''Po''': And the Five! Man, you should have seen them! They totally hate me.
:'''Oogway''': Totally.
:'''Po''': How is Shifu ever going to turn ''me'' into the Dragon Warrior? I mean, I'm not like the Five. I've got no claws, no wings, no venom. Even Mantis has those...thingies. ''[sighs]'' Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
:'''Oogway''': ''[pause]'' Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There's a saying: &quot;Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.&quot; ''[taps the peach tree with his staff, which the peach fell into Po's hand and leaves]''
:''[Po looks at the peach before looking back at Oogway, and smiles]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:''[Po tries to take a vow of silence, when he realises he can't keep it up then...]''
:'''Po''': They're right! I can't do this...I'm a blabber-mouth, a chatter-box, a yack-idy, whack-idy, a fluger-meister!
:'''Mantis''': A fluger-what?
:'''Po''': I don't know! See?! I talk so much I have to make up new words!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:''[Shifu is trying to meditate]'' 
:'''Shifu''': Inner peace. Inner peace...Inner...In...In...In...In...Inner peace... ''[one of his ears turn to the side, hearing a flapping noises; shouts over his shoulder]'' Would whoever is making that flapping sound quiet down?! ''[resumes mediating, but one of his ear twich]'' Inner... ''[Zeng quacks, Shifu groans and turn around. He smiles a little]'' Oh, Zeng! Excellent. I could use some good news right now.
:'''Zeng''': ''[Pauses nervously]'' Uhhh...
:''[Cut to Shifu, who ran up to Oogway near the peach tree.]'' 
:'''Shifu''': Master! Master!
:'''Oogway''': Hmm?
:'''Shifu''': I...I...have...it's...it's very bad news.
:'''Oogway''': Aah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad. (So what did you want to tell me?)
:'''Shifu''': Master, your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
:''[Long pause]'' 
:'''Oogway''': That is bad news...if you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.
:'''Shifu''': The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here! It was an accident!
:'''Oogway''': There are no accidents.
:'''Shifu''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. You said that already...twice.
:'''Oogway''': Well, that was no accident either.
:'''Shifu''': ... Thrice.
:'''Oogway''': My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
:'''Shifu''': Illusion?
:'''Oogway''': Yes. ''[gestures to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom]'' Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time.
:'''Shifu''': But there are things we ''can'' control. ''[kicks the tree causing several peaches to fall]'' I can control when the fruit will fall. ''[one hits him on the head. Oogway chuckles]'' And I can control... ''tosses the peach in the air and chops it in half]'' ...Where to plant the seed. ''[punches a hole in the ground and catches the seed]'' That is no illusion, Master. ''[throws the seed into the hole]''
:'''Oogway''': Ah, yes, but no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
:'''Shifu''': But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
:'''Oogway''': Maybe it can... ''[covers the seed in dirt]'' ...If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
:'''Shifu''': But how? How? I need your help, master.
:'''Oogway''': No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
:'''Shifu''': I...I will try.
:'''Oogway''': Good. ''[sees petals floating around him]'' My time has come. You must continue your journey without me. ''[hands Shifu his staff]''
:'''Shifu''': What?...What are you...? ''[Oogway backs into the swirling petals]'' Master, you can't leave me!
:'''Oogway''': ''[starts to vanish]'' You must believe.
:'''Shifu''': Master! 
:''[Oogway disappears, and Shifu stares sadly after him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:'''Po''': ''[making dinner for The Furious Five]'' So, I'm like &quot;Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!&quot;
:'''Crane''': Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?
:'''Po''': I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it...in...in my mind. If he could read my mind, he woulda been like &quot;What?&quot;. Order up! ''[passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five]'' Hope you like it. ''[watches patiently]''
:'''Mantis''': This is really good!
:'''Po''': ''[sitting down]'' Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
:'''Viper''': What are you talking about? This is amazing!
:'''Crane''': Wow, you're a really good cook!
:''[Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.]''
:'''Mantis''': I wish my mouth was bigger!
:'''Monkey''': Tigress, you've got to try this.
:'''Tigress''': Hmmm. ''[picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles]'' It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
:''[The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again, but he ignores that.]''
:'''Po''': I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and...uh, universe juice. ''[slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose like mustache; Mantis snickers]'' What?
:'''Mantis''': Oh, nothing...&quot;Master Shifu&quot;.
:''[Everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle]''
:'''Po''': ''[gets an idea, and starts impersonating Master Shifu]'' &quot;You will never be the Dragon Warrior...unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!&quot; ''[the Five, except Tigress, laughs]'' &quot;What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine.&quot; ''[brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions, to see the real Shifu, with Oogway's staff, standing in the doorway]'' Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.
:'''Monkey''': ''[whispering]'' It's Shifu!
:'''Po''': Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? ''[the Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu]'' Oh...Master Shifu! Uh... ''[slurps the noodle and presses the bowls to his chest like he has pecs. The Five, except Tigress, snicker]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[angrily]'' You think this is funny?! Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!
:'''Po''': What?
:'''Shifu''': He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! ''[to Po]'' And you are the ''only'' one who can stop him!
:'''Po''': ''[as the bowls fall to the floor, then laughs]'' And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! ''[Shifu looks at him deadly serious]'' I'm gonna...stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to...? Uh, Master Oogway will stop him. He did it before, he'll do it again.
:'''Shifu''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oogway cannot! ''[face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.]'' Not anymore. ''[the Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone]'' Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
:'''Tigress''': The panda?
:'''Shifu''': Yes, the panda!
:'''Tigress''': Master, please! ''[pushes her chair out]'' Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!
:'''Shifu''': No! It is not ''your'' destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is ''his!'' ''[points to where Po was once at]'' Where'd he go? ''[scene cuts to outside with Po running down the stairs, screaming, and Shifu stops Po from leaving]'' You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
:'''Po''': Watch me! ''[tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away]'' Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.
:'''Shifu''': You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! ''[pokes Po in the stomach]''
:'''Po''': Ow! You don't believe that! ''[Shifu swings his arm around]'' You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me! ''[tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away again]''
:'''Shifu''': Yes, I was, but now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
:'''Po''': You're not my master. ''[shoves the staff away from his face]'' And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
:'''Shifu''': Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed!
:'''Po''': Yeah, I stayed. ''[stands up]'' I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. ''[Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence]'' I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
:'''Shifu''': But I ''can'' change you! I ''can'' turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!
:'''Po''': Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are ''you'' gonna change ''this'' into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? ''[Shifu is speechless from shock]'' How?! How?! '''''HOW?!'''''
:'''Shifu''': ''[snaps and yells in frustration]'' I don't know! ''[calms down a bit, then he sighs deeply, realizing what he means]'' I don't know.
:'''Po''': ''[sadness]'' That's what I thought.
:'''Tigress''': ''[watches Po and Shifu sadly walk away and jumps]'' This what you trained me for. ''[Keeps going. The rest of the Furious Five follow her]'' 
:'''Viper''': ''[now caught up with Tigress]'' Tigress!
:'''Tigress''': Don't try to stop me!
:'''Viper''': We're not trying to stop you. 
:'''Tigress''': What?
:'''Viper''': We're coming with you. 
:''[Monkey gives a thumb up and the Furious Five jump into the moon, The next morning, Shifu is by himself and hears Po karate. He goes inside, looking for Po and happens to see him in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboard and is currently eating its contents]''
:'''Po''': ''[Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu look arounds the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po’s still got food in his hands]'' What? ''[annoyed]'' I eat when I'm upset, okay?
:'''Shifu''': Oh, no need to explain. ''[start to turn away, then turn back]'' I just thought you might be Monkey, he hides his almond cookies on the top shelf. ''[pretends to walk off and instead leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit scuffling. When he looks in, Po is ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and currently shoveling Monkey’s almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realization, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu]''
:'''Po''': ''[with the cookies in his mouth]'' Don’t tell Monkey.
:'''Shifu:''' ''[in astonishment]'' Look at you.
:'''Po:''' Yeah, I know, I disgust you.
:'''Shifu:''' No, no, I mean, how did you get up there?
:'''Po:''' ''[taking a few more cookies]'' I don’t know. I just- I don’t know. I was getting a cookie.
:'''Shifu''': And yet, you are ten feet off the ground, and have done a perfect split.
:'''Po:''' No. This is just an... ''[the shelf trembles under his weight]'' ...accident. ''[the shelf breaks; Po falls to the floor]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[smiles, as a cookie rolls to him]'' There are no accidents. Come with me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Ping''': Come here. The secret ingredient is...nothing!
:'''Po''': Huh?
:'''Mr. Ping''': You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
:'''Po''': Wait, wait. It's just plain old noodles? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
:'''Mr. Ping''': Don't have to. To make something special...you just have to believe it is special.
:'''Po''': ''[finally understands the Dragon Scroll's secret]'' There is no secret ingredient.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shifu awaits for Tai Lung to appear. And as the lightning flashes, Tai Lung is standing in front of Shifu at the top of the stairs]''
:'''Tai Lung''': I've come home, Master.
:'''Shifu''': This is your no longer home, and I am no longer your master.
:'''Tai Lung''': Ah, you have a new favorite. And where is this &quot;Po&quot;? ''[chuckles a bit]'' Did I scare him off?
:'''Shifu''': This battle is between you and me.
:'''Tai Lung''': So, this is how it's going to be.
:'''Shifu''': That is how it must be.
:''[Shifu and Tai Lung engaged a violent fight. Then they entered the Jade Palace]''
:'''Tai Lung''': I rotted in jail for 20 years because of your weakness!
:'''Shifu''': Obeying your master isn't weakness!
:'''Tai Lung''': You ''knew'' I was the Dragon Warrior! ''[flashback ensues; 20 years ago, in the exact same spot in the Hall of Warriors; Tai Lung awaits Shifu and Oogway's evaluation; Tai Lung proudly believes he will receive the dragon scroll]'' You ''always'' knew. But when Oogway said otherwise, ''[Oogway turns to Shifu and shakes his head in refusal and walks away]'' what did you do? ''[Shifu is about to say something, but remains silent out of respect for his master]'' '''''What did you do?!''''' ''[Tai Lung cannot believe what he is hearing and seeing. Then the scene returns to present; Tai Lung is furious]'' '''''NOTHING!'''''
:'''Shifu''': '''''YOU WERE NOT MEANT TO BE THE DRAGON WARRIOR, THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!'''''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[going into a rage] '''NOT YOUR FAULT?!''' [angrily knocks down Master Flying Rhino's armor]'' WHO FILLED MY HEAD WITH DREAMS?! ''[starts throwing weapons at Shifu]'' '''''WHO DROVE ME TO TRAIN UNTIL MY BONES CRACKED?! WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?!''''' ''[launches a volley of blades at Shifu, who deflects all of them with ease, but barely countering the last one]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[successfully driving last blade into the ground]'' It was never my decision to make!
:''[Tai Lung growls and leaps to Oogway's shrine. He finally realizes that Oogway is gone and picks up the deceased master's staff]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[holding the staff out to Shifu]'' It is now. ''[angered, Shifu charges Tai Lung, hitting him before Tai Lung uses the curved end of Oogway's staff to catch Shifu by the neck and pin him to the ground.]'' Give...me...the scroll!
:'''Shifu''': I would rather die!
:'''Tai-Lung''': Don't worry master? I said give me the scroll!
:'''Shifu''': You don't wanna breaking the staff!
:''[Tai Lung growls, then tries to kill Shifu with Oogway's staff. Shifu pushes against it, and the staff breaks in half and clutters away. They fight some more, even breaking through the roof and went back down, until Tai Lung eventually gains the upper hand with flaming blue paws]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[furiously pummeling Shifu]'' All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how '''''PROUD''''' you are, Shifu! Tell me! '''''TELL ME!!!''''' ''[his final blow sends Shifu flying across the room. He lands in a heap at the foot of the stairs. Tai Lung extinguishes the blue flames with his paws]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[tired, solemn and sad]'' I have always been proud of you. From the first moment, I've been proud of you. And it was my pride, that blinded me; I loved you too much to see what you were becoming...what I was turning you into. I'm s...I'm sorry.
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[taken aback for a moment, but angrily recovers and seizes Shifu by the throat, holding him up in the air]'' I don't want your apology; I want my scroll! ''[sees the Dragon Scroll is gone; shocked]'' What?! ''[angrily]'' '''''WHERE IS IT?!''''' ''[slams Shifu to the floor]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[trying his best to escape Tai Lung's grip around his neck]'' The Dragon Warrior has taken scroll halfway across China by now. ''[coughs]'' You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung! ''[Tai Lung draws out his claws, ready to kill Shifu]'' Never! ''[weakly]'' N-Never. ''[Tai Lung snarls, about to lay down the death blow on his former master]''
:'''Po''': ''[offscreen]'' '''''HEY!''''' ''[Tai Lung stops and turns around. He sees Po standing with the dawn behind him at the entrance, currently panting for breath]'' Ugh, stairs. Ugh. Ugh.
:'''Tai Lung''': Who are you?
:'''Po''': ''[catching his breath]'' Buddy...I...am the Dragon Warrior. ''[gasps one last time to catch his breath]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[disbelievingly]'' You? ''[laughs; to the Shifu as he tosses him to the floor]'' Him? He's a panda. ''[to Po]'' You're a ''panda''. ''[sarcastically]'' What are you going to do, big guy, sit on me? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Po''': Don't tempt me. ''[laughs]'' Now I'm gonna use ''this.'' ''[holds up the Dragon Scroll and chuckles]'' You want it? Come get it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tai Lung is severely battered after being belly-bumped by Po in the sky, and falls out of the sky while screaming, and crashing through the ground like in a classic cartoon]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[weakly]'' You...''can't'' defeat me. You...''you're just a big...fat...'''panda!'''''
:'''Po''': ''[pinches Tai Lung's finger]'' I'm not a big fat panda, I'm ''the'' big fat panda. ''[lifts up his pinky finger]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[gasps in horror]'' The Wuxi Finger Hold?!
:'''Po''': Oh, you ''know'' this hold.
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[last words before his defeat]'' You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
:'''Po''': Nope. ''[Tai Lung smiles weakly]'' I figured it out. ''[flexes his pinky finger, with Tai Lung's eyes widening in an &quot;uh-oh&quot; stare]'' Skadoosh. ''[Unleashes a rippling wave of light that vanquishes Tai Lung]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines. After defeating Tai Lung, Po rushes to check on Shifu, whom he finds unconscious.]''
:'''Po''': Master, Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
:'''Shifu''': ''[coughs; weakly]'' Po, you're alive...or we're both dead.
:'''Po''': No, Master, I didn't die, I defeated Tai Lung.
:'''Shifu''': You did? ''[Po nods] '''Wow.''' It is just as Oogway...foretold. You ''are'' the Dragon Warrior. ''[Po's smile disappears]'' You have brought peace...to this valley. And...and to me. Thank you. ''[sighs again]'' Thank you, Po. Thank you. Thank you. ''[slowly lays his head down, as if dead]''
:'''Po''': ''[looks disbelievingly at his master]'' No! Master! '''''No, no, no, don't die, Shifu, please!'''''
:'''Shifu''': ''[suddenly opens his eyes in annoyance]'' I'm not dying, you idiot- ''[humorously calms down]'' Uh, Dragon Warrior: ''[relaxes and folds his hands over his chest]'' I am simply at peace. Finally.
:'''Po''': Ohhh. So, um, I should stop talking?
:'''Shifu''': ''[smiling]'' If you can.
:'''Po''': ''[joins Shifu for a nap, and after a long nap, he ask something to his master]'' You want to get something to eat?
:''[Shifu wakes up and sighs in annoyance]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yeah.

== Kung Fu Panda Holiday ==
:'''Po''': ''[opening lines; in dream sequence]'' Steel yourself against my steel, villain. ''[uses sword to chop an onion in half]'' Your reign of tears is over.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Ping''': ''[rejecting Po's offer to cook the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace]'' What about our friends? What about those lonely people who have no place else to go? We give them a place to call home. There's always room for one more at Mister Ping's.
:'''Po''': Look, Dad, I appreciate that you care about the lonely people...
:'''Mr. Ping''': And lonely people pay extra.
:'''Po''': But ''I'' need you. I just fired the best chefs in all of China.
:'''Mr. Ping''': ''[offended]'' Oh, 'the best chefs in all of China', huh? You think your fancy palace ladle is better than mine? ''[picks up ladle, which breaks in half]'' This is not my A-ladle.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Mr. Ping refuses to cater at the Jade Palace, Po finds Wo Hop the bunny in the kitchen]''
:'''Po''': Bunny! Finally, a real chef! Listen, I know we got off to kind of a rocky start, what with me shaming you and your village for all eternity, but if you could start dicing those carrots, it would really...
:'''Wo Hop''': ''[interrupts]'' I'm not here to dice carrots. I'm here to fight you.
:'''Po''': Huh?
:'''Wo Hop''': The only way to restore honor to me and my village is to fight the Dragon Warrior. Surely I will perish, but that is the fate I must accept.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': This is a disaster. I'm going to disappoint everyone. My dad, the Furious Five, Shifu...
:'''Wo Hop''': And me. ''[Po glares at him]'' I'm not dead yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': This may be our greatest challenge yet.
:'''Monkey''': Bandits?
:'''Viper''': Raiders?
:'''Po''': No. Place settings.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shifu''': Beautiful. Elegant. Perfect. You made me proud. All 29 kung fu schools and their masters. Excellent. Excellent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mr. Ping is struggling with a heavy pot of soup]''
:'''Po''': ''[appears behind him]'' I got that, Dad.
:'''Mr. Ping''': Po? Oh, you came! Oh, Po, I'm... I'm sorry I made you feel so guilty.
:'''Po''': Ah, don't be. That's what the holidays are all about. Now, don't we have some cooking to do?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': ''[notices Shifu outside the restaurant]'' There's always room for one more at Mr. Ping's.
:'''Shifu''': Oh no, I really don't want to disturb anyone. You go and enjoy your party.
:'''Po''': I couldn't enjoy it without you.
:'''Shifu''': Oh no, I couldn't. These are your people. This is your family.
:'''Po''': You're my family too, Shifu. Now c'mon.
:'''Shifu''': ''[sighs and smiles]'' That soup does smell delicious. ''[Po prepares to escort Shifu inside but Shifu suddenly stops him]'' Po, wait. What goes on in your head, I really don't always understand. But what goes on in your heart never let us down.
:'''Po''': ''[smiles]'' Thanks, Shifu.

== Taglines ==
* Prepare For Awesomeness.
* Experience The Pandamonium In IMAX.
* Summertime Is Pandatime.

== Cast ==
* [[Jack Black]] — Po
* [[Dustin Hoffman]] — Master Shifu
* [[w:Ian McShane|Ian McShane]] - Tai Lung
* [[Angelina Jolie]] — Master Tigress
* [[Jackie Chan]] - Master Monkey
* [[w:Lucy Liu|Lucy Liu]] - Master Viper
* [[David Cross]] - Master Crane
* [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] - Master Mantis
* [[w:James Hong|James Hong]] - Mr. Ping
* [[w:Randall Duk Kim|Randall Duk Kim]] - Master Oogway
* [[w:Dan Fogler|Dan Fogler]] - Zeng
* [[Michael Clarke Duncan]] - Commander Vachir

==See also==
* [[Kung Fu Panda 2]]
* [[Kung Fu Panda 3]]

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=441773|title=Kung Fu Panda}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=kung_fu_panda|title=Kung Fu Panda}}

[[Category:2008 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]                  
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]]
[[Category:Martial arts films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:John Stevenson films]]
[[Category:Kung Fu Panda]]
[[Category:Films set in China]]</text>
      <sha1>1aauqwwrx0mdozv11xryu5f15oae9wx</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154671</id>
      <parentid>3154669</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:59:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:183:C700:68D0:6D4E:5FC0:582F:A065</ip>
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      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30953" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Kung Fu Panda|Kung Fu Panda]]''''' is a [[w:2008 in film|2008]] animated film about an obese and clumsy panda who finds himself designated the prophesied Dragon Warrior, much to the disbelief of his would be peers. 
:''Directed by [[w:John Stevenson|John Stevenson]] and [[w:Mark Osborne|Mark Osborne]]. Written by [[w:Jonathan Aibel|Jonathan Aibel]] and [[w:Glenn Berger|Glenn Berger]].''

{{center|'''Prepare For Awesomeness. Pandamonium Begins.''' {{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}}

==Po==
*No! Master! No, no, no, don't die, Shifu, please!?

==Shifu==
*I been take easy panda but no more will be next appointment, then will be me. ''[Po: Oh yeah. Great. Let's go!]''
*Zeng?! Fly you take out of prison, I'll telling to double guards?! Double weapons?! Double anything! Tai-Lung does not leavin' in the prison!? ''[Zeng: Yes, master Shifu]''

==Tai-Lung==
*I have come home master.

==Others==
:'''Guard Rhino''': ''[shocked]'' Oh, no! ''[Zeng: What's happening?!]''

==Dialogue==
:'''Mr. Ping''': Po, what are you doing up there?
:'''Po''': Uh, nothing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Po''': Uh, yeah. It's just...maybe we can find something more suited to my level...
:'''Shifu''': And what level is that?
:'''Po''': Well, you know, I'm not a master, but, uh, Let's just start at 0; Level 0.
:'''Shifu:''' Oh, no. There is no such thing as Level 0.
:'''Po:''' ''[spotted the training dummy]'' Hey! Maybe I can start on that!
:'''Shifu:''' That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist... 
:'''Po''': ''[sees the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions]'' Whoa. the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures. Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same.
:''[Mantis glares at Po as one of his antennae twitches]''
:'''Shifu''': Go ahead, Panda. Show us what you can do.
:''[Po hesitates, seeing the Five watching him.]'' 
:'''Po''': ''[uneasily]'' Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?
:'''Shifu''': Hit it.
:'''Po''': ''[stalling]'' Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my Kung Fu may not be as good as... later on.
:'''Shifu''': Just hit it.
:'''Po''': Uh, okay. ''[looks over at the training dummy]'' What'cha got? You got nothing, cause I got it right here. You pickin' on my friends? ''[quickly shuffles his feet]'' Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin' at you with the crazy feet. What'cha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen ''bear'' style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style. ''[starts chattering like a monkey; Monster raises his eyebrows]'' Or snickety-snake-alike–?
:'''Shifu''': ''[angrily]'' Would you hit it?!
:'''Po''': ''[stops, annoyed]'' All right. ''[gives the dummy a little tap with his fist, making it lean back]''
:'''Shifu''': Try again. A little harder.
:'''Po''': ''[punches the dummy, sending it hurtling backwards]'' Ha! How's tha–? ''[but the dummy swings back, knocking his tooth out and sending him flying into the training hall's obstacle course. The Five start forward, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them. Po accidentally does a split on the moving ropes]'' Oh, that hurts! ''[a spiked pendulum swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[very amused]'' This'll be easier than I thought.
:'''Po''': ''[spills out of the tilting bowl, and wanders to the moving arm guard section]'' Feeling a little nauseous. ''[pushes one arm, starting a chain reaction that causes him to get hit repeatedly in the face, belly, legs, arms...]'' Ow! Oh, those are hard–! ''[...then in the scrotum]'' Ooh-hoo-hoo! ''[drops to knees, rises and covers crotch]'' My tenders! ''[in pain, he rests one hand on a moving arm, starting the whole chain reaction over again, and smacking him into the fire floor area]'' Uh-oh. ''[cut back to Shifu and the Furious Five who wince and look away as we hear fire burning and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt, charred, and weakly]'' How did I do?
:'''Shifu''': ''[chuckles]'' There is ''now''...a Level 0. ''[snuffs out a flame on top of Po's head]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mantis:''' There's no words.
:'''Crane:''' No denying that.
:'''Viper:''' I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
:'''Crane:''' ''[mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically]'' He is ''so'' mighty! The Dragon Warrior - fell out of the sky in a ball of fire!
:'''Mantis:''' When he walks, the very ground shakes.
:''[the Furious Five laugh, except Tigress]''
:'''Tigress:''' One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually ''knew'' Kung Fu.
:'''Crane:''' Yeah, or could be at least touch his toes.
:'''Monkey:''' Or even ''see'' his toes.
:''[The Furious Five laugh again]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Trying to get to his room without waking anyone, Po tiptoes through the hallway, only to trip and walk into Crane's room]''
:'''Po''': Oh, hey. Hi, you're, uh...you're up.
:'''Crane''': Am now.
:'''Po''': I was just...Some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?
:'''Crane''': ''[looks at his arms awkwardly]'' Uh...I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.
:'''Po''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
:'''Crane''': OK, thanks.
:'''Po''': It's just– Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered 1001, but you didn't stop. And you just– ''[tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him]'' Oh, sorry about that.
:'''Crane''': Uh, look, you don't belong here.
:'''Po''': ''[sighs in disappointment]'' I know. I know. You're right. I don't have--I just--my whole life, I've dreamed of--
:'''Crane''': No, no, no. I meant you don't belong ''here''. I mean, in this room. This is my room. ''[softly taps his bed with his foot]'' Property of Crane.
:'''Po''': Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.
:''[He leaves, but remains outside the door]''
:'''Crane''': ''[sighs in annoyance]'' Oy.
:'''Po''': ''[peeks his head in]'' What was that?
:'''Crane''': I didn't say anything.
:'''Po''': Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well. ''[closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head]'' Seemed a bit awkward. ''[tries to get to his room despite the creaking noise; Tigress opens her doors annoyed]'' Master Tigress. Didn't mean to wake you. Just, uh–
:'''Tigress''': You don't belong here.
:'''Po''': Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. This is your room.
:'''Tigress''': I mean, you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have ''any'' respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning. ''[slams her doors closed]''
:''[Po, clearly hurt by her words, gropes for a response.]''
:'''Po''': ''[weakly]'' ''Big fan.''
:''[The scene switches to Po standing near a peach tree outside the Jade Palace; Oogway walks up to him]''
:'''Oogway''': I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.
:'''Po''': ''[turns around, holding a bunch of peaches in his arms and mouth]'' Oh, is that what this is? I am so sorry! I thought it was just a regular peach tree.
:'''Oogway''': I understand. You eat when you are upset.
:'''Po''': ''[spits out the peaches]'' Upset? I'm not upset. Why--What makes you think I'm upset?
:'''Oogway''': So, why are you upset?
:'''Po''': ''[sighs]'' I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu, in the history of China, in the history of ''sucking''.
:'''Oogway''': Probably.
:'''Po''': And the Five! Man, you should have seen them! They totally hate me.
:'''Oogway''': Totally.
:'''Po''': How is Shifu ever going to turn ''me'' into the Dragon Warrior? I mean, I'm not like the Five. I've got no claws, no wings, no venom. Even Mantis has those...thingies. ''[sighs]'' Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
:'''Oogway''': ''[pause]'' Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There's a saying: &quot;Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.&quot; ''[taps the peach tree with his staff, which the peach fell into Po's hand and leaves]''
:''[Po looks at the peach before looking back at Oogway, and smiles]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:''[Po tries to take a vow of silence, when he realises he can't keep it up then...]''
:'''Po''': They're right! I can't do this...I'm a blabber-mouth, a chatter-box, a yack-idy, whack-idy, a fluger-meister!
:'''Mantis''': A fluger-what?
:'''Po''': I don't know! See?! I talk so much I have to make up new words!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:''[Shifu is trying to meditate]'' 
:'''Shifu''': Inner peace. Inner peace...Inner...In...In...In...In...Inner peace... ''[one of his ears turn to the side, hearing a flapping noises; shouts over his shoulder]'' Would whoever is making that flapping sound quiet down?! ''[resumes mediating, but one of his ear twich]'' Inner... ''[Zeng quacks, Shifu groans and turn around. He smiles a little]'' Oh, Zeng! Excellent. I could use some good news right now.
:'''Zeng''': ''[Pauses nervously]'' Uhhh...
:''[Cut to Shifu, who ran up to Oogway near the peach tree.]'' 
:'''Shifu''': Master! Master!
:'''Oogway''': Hmm?
:'''Shifu''': I...I...have...it's...it's very bad news.
:'''Oogway''': Aah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad. (So what did you want to tell me?)
:'''Shifu''': Master, your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
:''[Long pause]'' 
:'''Oogway''': That is bad news...if you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.
:'''Shifu''': The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here! It was an accident!
:'''Oogway''': There are no accidents.
:'''Shifu''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, I know. You said that already...twice.
:'''Oogway''': Well, that was no accident either.
:'''Shifu''': ... Thrice.
:'''Oogway''': My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
:'''Shifu''': Illusion?
:'''Oogway''': Yes. ''[gestures to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom]'' Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time.
:'''Shifu''': But there are things we ''can'' control. ''[kicks the tree causing several peaches to fall]'' I can control when the fruit will fall. ''[one hits him on the head. Oogway chuckles]'' And I can control... ''tosses the peach in the air and chops it in half]'' ...Where to plant the seed. ''[punches a hole in the ground and catches the seed]'' That is no illusion, Master. ''[throws the seed into the hole]''
:'''Oogway''': Ah, yes, but no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
:'''Shifu''': But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
:'''Oogway''': Maybe it can... ''[covers the seed in dirt]'' ...If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
:'''Shifu''': But how? How? I need your help, master.
:'''Oogway''': No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
:'''Shifu''': I...I will try.
:'''Oogway''': Good. ''[sees petals floating around him]'' My time has come. You must continue your journey without me. ''[hands Shifu his staff]''
:'''Shifu''': What?...What are you...? ''[Oogway backs into the swirling petals]'' Master, you can't leave me!
:'''Oogway''': ''[starts to vanish]'' You must believe.
:'''Shifu''': Master! 
:''[Oogway disappears, and Shifu stares sadly after him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt; 
:'''Po''': ''[making dinner for The Furious Five]'' So, I'm like &quot;Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!&quot;
:'''Crane''': Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?
:'''Po''': I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it...in...in my mind. If he could read my mind, he woulda been like &quot;What?&quot;. Order up! ''[passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five]'' Hope you like it. ''[watches patiently]''
:'''Mantis''': This is really good!
:'''Po''': ''[sitting down]'' Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
:'''Viper''': What are you talking about? This is amazing!
:'''Crane''': Wow, you're a really good cook!
:''[Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.]''
:'''Mantis''': I wish my mouth was bigger!
:'''Monkey''': Tigress, you've got to try this.
:'''Tigress''': Hmmm. ''[picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles]'' It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
:''[The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again, but he ignores that.]''
:'''Po''': I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and...uh, universe juice. ''[slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose like mustache; Mantis snickers]'' What?
:'''Mantis''': Oh, nothing...&quot;Master Shifu&quot;.
:''[Everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle]''
:'''Po''': ''[gets an idea, and starts impersonating Master Shifu]'' &quot;You will never be the Dragon Warrior...unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!&quot; ''[the Five, except Tigress, laughs]'' &quot;What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine.&quot; ''[brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions, to see the real Shifu, with Oogway's staff, standing in the doorway]'' Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.
:'''Monkey''': ''[whispering]'' It's Shifu!
:'''Po''': Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? ''[the Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu]'' Oh...Master Shifu! Uh... ''[slurps the noodle and presses the bowls to his chest like he has pecs. The Five, except Tigress, snicker]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[angrily]'' You think this is funny?! Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!
:'''Po''': What?
:'''Shifu''': He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! ''[to Po]'' And you are the ''only'' one who can stop him!
:'''Po''': ''[as the bowls fall to the floor, then laughs]'' And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! ''[Shifu looks at him deadly serious]'' I'm gonna...stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to...? Uh, Master Oogway will stop him. He did it before, he'll do it again.
:'''Shifu''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oogway cannot! ''[face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.]'' Not anymore. ''[the Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone]'' Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
:'''Tigress''': The panda?
:'''Shifu''': Yes, the panda!
:'''Tigress''': Master, please! ''[pushes her chair out]'' Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!
:'''Shifu''': No! It is not ''your'' destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is ''his!'' ''[points to where Po was once at]'' Where'd he go? ''[scene cuts to outside with Po running down the stairs, screaming, and Shifu stops Po from leaving]'' You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
:'''Po''': Watch me! ''[tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away]'' Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.
:'''Shifu''': You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! ''[pokes Po in the stomach]''
:'''Po''': Ow! You don't believe that! ''[Shifu swings his arm around]'' You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me! ''[tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away again]''
:'''Shifu''': Yes, I was, but now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
:'''Po''': You're not my master. ''[shoves the staff away from his face]'' And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
:'''Shifu''': Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed!
:'''Po''': Yeah, I stayed. ''[stands up]'' I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. ''[Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence]'' I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
:'''Shifu''': But I ''can'' change you! I ''can'' turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!
:'''Po''': Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are ''you'' gonna change ''this'' into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? ''[Shifu is speechless from shock]'' How?! How?! '''''HOW?!'''''
:'''Shifu''': ''[snaps and yells in frustration]'' I don't know! ''[calms down a bit, then he sighs deeply, realizing what he means]'' I don't know.
:'''Po''': ''[sadness]'' That's what I thought.
:'''Tigress''': ''[watches Po and Shifu sadly walk away and jumps]'' This what you trained me for. ''[Keeps going. The rest of the Furious Five follow her]'' 
:'''Viper''': ''[now caught up with Tigress]'' Tigress!
:'''Tigress''': Don't try to stop me!
:'''Viper''': We're not trying to stop you. 
:'''Tigress''': What?
:'''Viper''': We're coming with you. 
:''[Monkey gives a thumb up and the Furious Five jump into the moon, The next morning, Shifu is by himself and hears Po karate. He goes inside, looking for Po and happens to see him in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboard and is currently eating its contents]''
:'''Po''': ''[Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu look arounds the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po’s still got food in his hands]'' What? ''[annoyed]'' I eat when I'm upset, okay?
:'''Shifu''': Oh, no need to explain. ''[start to turn away, then turn back]'' I just thought you might be Monkey, he hides his almond cookies on the top shelf. ''[pretends to walk off and instead leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit scuffling. When he looks in, Po is ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and currently shoveling Monkey’s almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realization, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu]''
:'''Po''': ''[with the cookies in his mouth]'' Don’t tell Monkey.
:'''Shifu:''' ''[in astonishment]'' Look at you.
:'''Po:''' Yeah, I know, I disgust you.
:'''Shifu:''' No, no, I mean, how did you get up there?
:'''Po:''' ''[taking a few more cookies]'' I don’t know. I just- I don’t know. I was getting a cookie.
:'''Shifu''': And yet, you are ten feet off the ground, and have done a perfect split.
:'''Po:''' No. This is just an... ''[the shelf trembles under his weight]'' ...accident. ''[the shelf breaks; Po falls to the floor]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[smiles, as a cookie rolls to him]'' There are no accidents. Come with me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Ping''': Come here. The secret ingredient is...nothing!
:'''Po''': Huh?
:'''Mr. Ping''': You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
:'''Po''': Wait, wait. It's just plain old noodles? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
:'''Mr. Ping''': Don't have to. To make something special...you just have to believe it is special.
:'''Po''': ''[finally understands the Dragon Scroll's secret]'' There is no secret ingredient.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Shifu awaits for Tai Lung to appear. And as the lightning flashes, Tai Lung is standing in front of Shifu at the top of the stairs]''
:'''Tai Lung''': I've come home, Master.
:'''Shifu''': This is your no longer home, and I am no longer your master.
:'''Tai Lung''': Ah, you have a new favorite. And where is this &quot;Po&quot;? ''[chuckles a bit]'' Did I scare him off?
:'''Shifu''': This battle is between you and me.
:'''Tai Lung''': So, this is how it's going to be.
:'''Shifu''': That is how it must be.
:''[Shifu and Tai Lung engaged a violent fight. Then they entered the Jade Palace]''
:'''Tai Lung''': I rotted in jail for 20 years because of your weakness!
:'''Shifu''': Obeying your master isn't weakness!
:'''Tai Lung''': You ''knew'' I was the Dragon Warrior! ''[flashback ensues; 20 years ago, in the exact same spot in the Hall of Warriors; Tai Lung awaits Shifu and Oogway's evaluation; Tai Lung proudly believes he will receive the dragon scroll]'' You ''always'' knew. But when Oogway said otherwise, ''[Oogway turns to Shifu and shakes his head in refusal and walks away]'' what did you do? ''[Shifu is about to say something, but remains silent out of respect for his master]'' '''''What did you do?!''''' ''[Tai Lung cannot believe what he is hearing and seeing. Then the scene returns to present; Tai Lung is furious]'' '''''NOTHING!'''''
:'''Shifu''': '''''YOU WERE NOT MEANT TO BE THE DRAGON WARRIOR, THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!'''''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[going into a rage] '''NOT YOUR FAULT?!''' [angrily knocks down Master Flying Rhino's armor]'' WHO FILLED MY HEAD WITH DREAMS?! ''[starts throwing weapons at Shifu]'' '''''WHO DROVE ME TO TRAIN UNTIL MY BONES CRACKED?! WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?!''''' ''[launches a volley of blades at Shifu, who deflects all of them with ease, but barely countering the last one]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[successfully driving last blade into the ground]'' It was never my decision to make!
:''[Tai Lung growls and leaps to Oogway's shrine. He finally realizes that Oogway is gone and picks up the deceased master's staff]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[holding the staff out to Shifu]'' It is now. ''[angered, Shifu charges Tai Lung, hitting him before Tai Lung uses the curved end of Oogway's staff to catch Shifu by the neck and pin him to the ground.]'' Give...me...the scroll!
:'''Shifu''': I would rather die!
:''[Tai Lung growls, then tries to kill Shifu with Oogway's staff. Shifu pushes against it, and the staff breaks in half and clutters away. They fight some more, even breaking through the roof and went back down, until Tai Lung eventually gains the upper hand with flaming blue paws]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[furiously pummeling Shifu]'' All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how '''''PROUD''''' you are, Shifu! Tell me! '''''TELL ME!!!''''' ''[his final blow sends Shifu flying across the room. He lands in a heap at the foot of the stairs. Tai Lung extinguishes the blue flames with his paws]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[tired, solemn and sad]'' I have always been proud of you. From the first moment, I've been proud of you. And it was my pride, that blinded me; I loved you too much to see what you were becoming...what I was turning you into. I'm s...I'm sorry.
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[taken aback for a moment, but angrily recovers and seizes Shifu by the throat, holding him up in the air]'' I don't want your apology; I want my scroll! ''[sees the Dragon Scroll is gone; shocked]'' What?! ''[angrily]'' '''''WHERE IS IT?!''''' ''[slams Shifu to the floor]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[trying his best to escape Tai Lung's grip around his neck]'' The Dragon Warrior has taken scroll halfway across China by now. ''[coughs]'' You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung! ''[Tai Lung draws out his claws, ready to kill Shifu]'' Never! ''[weakly]'' N-Never. ''[Tai Lung snarls, about to lay down the death blow on his former master]''
:'''Po''': ''[offscreen]'' '''''HEY!''''' ''[Tai Lung stops and turns around. He sees Po standing with the dawn behind him at the entrance, currently panting for breath]'' Ugh, stairs. Ugh. Ugh.
:'''Tai Lung''': Who are you?
:'''Po''': ''[catching his breath]'' Buddy...I...am the Dragon Warrior. ''[gasps one last time to catch his breath]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[disbelievingly]'' You? ''[laughs; to the Shifu as he tosses him to the floor]'' Him? He's a panda. ''[to Po]'' You're a ''panda''. ''[sarcastically]'' What are you going to do, big guy, sit on me? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Po''': Don't tempt me. ''[laughs]'' Now I'm gonna use ''this.'' ''[holds up the Dragon Scroll and chuckles]'' You want it? Come get it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tai Lung is severely battered after being belly-bumped by Po in the sky, and falls out of the sky while screaming, and crashing through the ground like in a classic cartoon]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[weakly]'' You...''can't'' defeat me. You...''you're just a big...fat...'''panda!'''''
:'''Po''': ''[pinches Tai Lung's finger]'' I'm not a big fat panda, I'm ''the'' big fat panda. ''[lifts up his pinky finger]''
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[gasps in horror]'' The Wuxi Finger Hold?!
:'''Po''': Oh, you ''know'' this hold.
:'''Tai Lung''': ''[last words before his defeat]'' You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
:'''Po''': Nope. ''[Tai Lung smiles weakly]'' I figured it out. ''[flexes his pinky finger, with Tai Lung's eyes widening in an &quot;uh-oh&quot; stare]'' Skadoosh. ''[Unleashes a rippling wave of light that vanquishes Tai Lung]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines. After defeating Tai Lung, Po rushes to check on Shifu, whom he finds unconscious.]''
:'''Po''': Master, Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
:'''Shifu''': ''[coughs; weakly]'' Po, you're alive...or we're both dead.
:'''Po''': No, Master, I didn't die, I defeated Tai Lung.
:'''Shifu''': You did? ''[Po nods] '''Wow.''' It is just as Oogway...foretold. You ''are'' the Dragon Warrior. ''[Po's smile disappears]'' You have brought peace...to this valley. And...and to me. Thank you. ''[sighs again]'' Thank you, Po. Thank you. Thank you. ''[slowly lays his head down, as if dead]''
:'''Po''': ''[looks disbelievingly at his master]'' No! Master! '''''No, no, no, don't die, Shifu, please!'''''
:'''Shifu''': ''[suddenly opens his eyes in annoyance]'' I'm not dying, you idiot- ''[humorously calms down]'' Uh, Dragon Warrior: ''[relaxes and folds his hands over his chest]'' I am simply at peace. Finally.
:'''Po''': Ohhh. So, um, I should stop talking?
:'''Shifu''': ''[smiling]'' If you can.
:'''Po''': ''[joins Shifu for a nap, and after a long nap, he ask something to his master]'' You want to get something to eat?
:''[Shifu wakes up and sighs in annoyance]''
:'''Shifu''': ''[nonchalantly]'' Yeah.

== Kung Fu Panda Holiday ==
:'''Po''': ''[opening lines; in dream sequence]'' Steel yourself against my steel, villain. ''[uses sword to chop an onion in half]'' Your reign of tears is over.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Ping''': ''[rejecting Po's offer to cook the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace]'' What about our friends? What about those lonely people who have no place else to go? We give them a place to call home. There's always room for one more at Mister Ping's.
:'''Po''': Look, Dad, I appreciate that you care about the lonely people...
:'''Mr. Ping''': And lonely people pay extra.
:'''Po''': But ''I'' need you. I just fired the best chefs in all of China.
:'''Mr. Ping''': ''[offended]'' Oh, 'the best chefs in all of China', huh? You think your fancy palace ladle is better than mine? ''[picks up ladle, which breaks in half]'' This is not my A-ladle.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Mr. Ping refuses to cater at the Jade Palace, Po finds Wo Hop the bunny in the kitchen]''
:'''Po''': Bunny! Finally, a real chef! Listen, I know we got off to kind of a rocky start, what with me shaming you and your village for all eternity, but if you could start dicing those carrots, it would really...
:'''Wo Hop''': ''[interrupts]'' I'm not here to dice carrots. I'm here to fight you.
:'''Po''': Huh?
:'''Wo Hop''': The only way to restore honor to me and my village is to fight the Dragon Warrior. Surely I will perish, but that is the fate I must accept.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': This is a disaster. I'm going to disappoint everyone. My dad, the Furious Five, Shifu...
:'''Wo Hop''': And me. ''[Po glares at him]'' I'm not dead yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': This may be our greatest challenge yet.
:'''Monkey''': Bandits?
:'''Viper''': Raiders?
:'''Po''': No. Place settings.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shifu''': Beautiful. Elegant. Perfect. You made me proud. All 29 kung fu schools and their masters. Excellent. Excellent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mr. Ping is struggling with a heavy pot of soup]''
:'''Po''': ''[appears behind him]'' I got that, Dad.
:'''Mr. Ping''': Po? Oh, you came! Oh, Po, I'm... I'm sorry I made you feel so guilty.
:'''Po''': Ah, don't be. That's what the holidays are all about. Now, don't we have some cooking to do?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Po''': ''[notices Shifu outside the restaurant]'' There's always room for one more at Mr. Ping's.
:'''Shifu''': Oh no, I really don't want to disturb anyone. You go and enjoy your party.
:'''Po''': I couldn't enjoy it without you.
:'''Shifu''': Oh no, I couldn't. These are your people. This is your family.
:'''Po''': You're my family too, Shifu. Now c'mon.
:'''Shifu''': ''[sighs and smiles]'' That soup does smell delicious. ''[Po prepares to escort Shifu inside but Shifu suddenly stops him]'' Po, wait. What goes on in your head, I really don't always understand. But what goes on in your heart never let us down.
:'''Po''': ''[smiles]'' Thanks, Shifu.

== Taglines ==
* Prepare For Awesomeness.
* Experience The Pandamonium In IMAX.
* Summertime Is Pandatime.

== Cast ==
* [[Jack Black]] — Po
* [[Dustin Hoffman]] — Master Shifu
* [[w:Ian McShane|Ian McShane]] - Tai Lung
* [[Angelina Jolie]] — Master Tigress
* [[Jackie Chan]] - Master Monkey
* [[w:Lucy Liu|Lucy Liu]] - Master Viper
* [[David Cross]] - Master Crane
* [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] - Master Mantis
* [[w:James Hong|James Hong]] - Mr. Ping
* [[w:Randall Duk Kim|Randall Duk Kim]] - Master Oogway
* [[w:Dan Fogler|Dan Fogler]] - Zeng
* [[Michael Clarke Duncan]] - Commander Vachir

==See also==
* [[Kung Fu Panda 2]]
* [[Kung Fu Panda 3]]

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=441773|title=Kung Fu Panda}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=kung_fu_panda|title=Kung Fu Panda}}

[[Category:2008 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]                  
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]]
[[Category:Martial arts films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:John Stevenson films]]
[[Category:Kung Fu Panda]]
[[Category:Films set in China]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Superman III</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>93762</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154536</id>
      <parentid>3111902</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:26:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>USN1977</username>
        <id>20370</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7907" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Superman III|Superman III]]''''' is a [[w:1983 in film|1983]] film staring [[Christopher Reeve]] and [[Richard Pryor]]. It was directed by [[w:Richard Lester|Richard Lester]].
{{center|'''If the world's most powerful computer can control even Superman...no one on earth is safe.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

==Evil Superman==
* ''[to disgusted onlookers at a bar]'' What are ya' looking at?! Huh?!
* Well, I hope you don't expect me to save you, 'cause I don't do that anymore.
* You always wanted to fly, Kent. Now's your chance!
* ''[after blowing acid on Clark Kent]'' What's 'a matter, Kent? Too warm for ya'? Come on chicken! You've been on my nerves for a long time!

==Gus Gorman==
* Both keys at the same time!
* I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers!
* I just [[Superman: The Movie|do not believe a man can fly]]!
* (throwing rock at mule) Get you, jackass!

==Ross Webster==
* He didn't die. I asked you to kill Superman, and you're telling me you couldn't even do that one, simple thing.
* Vera, get ahold of yourself. No one else ever will.
* Never underestimate the power of computers.

==Dialogue==
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Next! Name?
:'''Gus Gorman''': Gus Gorman.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Ah yes, August Gorman. Have you looked for work this week, Mr. Gorman?
:'''Gus Gorman''': Yeah.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': What kind?
:'''Gus Gorman''': Kitchen... technician.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Dishwasher? Any luck?
:'''Gus Gorman''': Nope. But -
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Mr. Gorman, according to our records you have been unemployed for thirty-six weeks.
:'''Gus Gorman''': Thirty-five.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Not counting this week. [''looks through his file''] You secured employment last June as a messenger and were discharged after one day for - 
:'''Gus Gorman''': They said I lost it on the subway, but it ain't the truth! It was a pickpocket took it!
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': A television set?
:'''Gus Gorman''': It was one of them little insy-bitty two-inch screen Japanese jobs.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': The only other employment you found was in a fast-food joint which lasted... twenty-eight minutes? Well, that's some kind of record. Talk about fast.
:'''Gus Gorman''': You know they 'spect you to learn all that on the first day? &quot;Hold the pickle! Hold the lettuce! Extra onions! Special sauce! No special sauce!&quot; Ain't nobody found no meat inside that glop yet.
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': Mr. Gorman, the city of Metropolis is generous to a fault, but thirty-six weeks of chronic unemployment, thirty-six weeks of living off the taxes of hard-working citizens. Do you know what you are?
:'''Gus Gorman''': Don't call me a bum! I ain't no bum!
:'''Unemployment Clerk''': You are, I was about to say, no longer eligible.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gus Gorman''': Hey brother, got a light?
:'''Black Man''': Sure.
:''Hands Gus a matchbook, which has a unique advertisement''
:'''Matchbook''': Earn big money! Learn about computers at Metropolis School of Technology.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Perry White''': I don't understand you, Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring me three thousand boring pictures. Yet Superman saves a man from drowning on 3rd Avenue this morning while you stand there watching the whole thing and you don't even bring me one picture. 
:'''Jimmy Olsen''': Chief, I didn't have my camera with me. 
:'''Perry White''': A photographer ''eats'' with his camera. A photographer ''sleeps'' with his camera. 
:'''Lois Lane''': I'm glad I'm a writer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Perry White''': I don't have to tell you, it isn't easy for me to lose one of my best reporters. 
:'''Clark Kent''': Oh, that's okay. 
:'''Perry White''': But you deserve the vacation, Lois.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy Olsen''': Clark, I want you to keep these people distracted so they don't know what I'm doing. 
:'''Clark Kent''': What are you doing? 
:'''Jimmy Olsen''': What am I doing? Remember what the chief said? A photographer always goes after a story. 
:'''Clark Kent''': That could be dangerous, Jimmy. 
:'''Jimmy Olsen''': Danger? Goes with the territory, Mr. Kent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ross Webster''': Gus, thanks to you, every time a drunk sobers up he will drinking a cup of Webster Coffee!
:'''Vera Webster''': Bad news Ross. Superman was able to save the Columbian crops by diverting the storm.
:'''Lorelei Ambrosia''': Ross dear, do not get angry! Besides, coffee is only what people drink to start their day at work. What do they use to get to work?
:'''Ross Webster''': Oil! Yes, cornering the market on oil would be much better! Gus, use the computer to send out coordinates to divert all tankers to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!
:'''Gus Gorman''': That is possible?
:'''Ross Webster''': Oh sure! Computers direct oil tankers today.
:'''Vera Webster''': Then why is there a captain?
:'''Ross Webster''': Some old maritime custom they cannot stand to abolish.
:''Atlantic Ocean''
:'''Tanker''': British Reliance.
:'''First Mate''': Skipper, I got another fax. The computer is directing us to these coordinates. But that is right above...the Hypeborean Basin? Why in the world would it direct us there?
:'''Captain''': I do not care what any computer says. Our orders are crystal clear: Deliver this shipment of oil to Metropolis, and that is what we are going to do!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Superman''': Alright, Webster, the game's over.
:'''Lorelei Ambrosia''': Hi, honey.
:'''Superman''': I don't know you, lady.
:'''Lorelei Ambrosia''': ''[sad]'' But the other night...
:'''Superman''': I'm sorry, but that wasn't me. That guy's gone. ''[to Webster]'' And you're next, Webster.
:'''Ross Webster''': Never underestimate the power of computers. How do you like it?
:'''Superman''': l think it's typical of people like you, Webster. Instead of helping others, the four of you just wanna help yourselves.
:'''Gus Gorman''': ''[to Superman]'' Four of you? You mean, Us? Four? Wait-- Hey, man! 
:'''Lorelei Ambrosia''': That's his last name. He likes to be called Superman.
:'''Gus Gorman''': ''[to Superman]'' Oh, I see, I'm not with them, Superman.
:'''Superman''': You could've fooled me, Mister.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ross Webster''': You're a genius. You've invented a machine that can find anybody's weak spot. Congratulations, old buddy. You're going to go down in history as the man who killed Superman!
:'''Gus Gorman''': I'm - no. Superman! No!

== Taglines==
*Even when faced with a trio of supervillains from his home planet, Superman saved the day. This time, if the world's most powerful computer can control even Superman...no one on earth is safe.
*Alexander Salkind Presents Christopher Reeve and Richard Pryor as you never seen them before. With more action, more twists, and more fun than Superman has ever had before!
*The world's super hero in his toughest adventure yet!
*Superman vs. the king of computerized crime!

==Cast==
* [[Christopher Reeve]] - [[w:Superman|Superman]]/[[w:Clark Kent|Clark Kent]]/[[w:Evil Superman|Evil Superman]]
* [[w:Margot Kidder|Margot Kidder]] - [[w:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]]
* [[Richard Pryor]] - Gus Gorman
* [[w:Jackie Cooper|Jackie Cooper]] - [[w:Perry White|Perry White]]
* [[w:Marc McClure|Marc McClure]] - [[w:Jimmy Olsen|Jimmy Olsen]]
* [[w:Annette O'Toole|Annette O'Toole]] - [[w:Lana Lang|Lana Lang]]
* [[w:Annie Ross|Annie Ross]] - Vera Webster
* [[w:Pamela Stephenson|Pamela Stephenson]] - Lorelei Ambrosia
* [[w:Robert Vaughn|Robert Vaughn]] - Ross Webster

==See also==
* ''[[Superman: The Movie]]'' 
* ''[[Superman II]]'' 
* ''[[Superman IV: The Quest for Peace]]'' 
* ''[[Superman Returns]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Superman 3}}
[[Category:Superman films]]
[[Category:1983 films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Comic book films]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Hedy Lamarr</title>
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      <parentid>2590159</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:02:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jaliscan</username>
        <id>316599</id>
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      <text bytes="8481" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Hedy Lamarr in Let's Live a Little (1948).jpg|thumb|right|Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.]]
[[File:Hedy Lamarr Ziegfeld Girl.jpg|thumb|And so I descended, teetering down what felt like millions of steps, in a glorious Adrian costume encrusted with enough twinkling stars to make Neil Armstrong jealous.]]	
[[File:I Take This Woman 1940.jpg|thumb|Spencer Tracy... He was a great actor, but there were times when he made me cry. He was not precisely my favorite person.]]
[[File:Hedy Lamarr and John Garfield in 'Tortilla Flat', 1942.jpg|thumb|John Garfield was wonderful to work with. He later told ''Life'' magazine, &quot;I tried to steal scenes from Hedy, Hedy tried to steal them from Frank, Frank tried to steal them from me, and the dogs (Morgan's) stole the show.&quot;]]	

'''[[w:Hedy Lamarr|Hedy Lamarr]]''' ([[9 November]] [[1914]] – [[19 January]] [[2000]]) was an Austrian-born American actress. Though known primarily for her great beauty on camera, she also co-invented an early form of spread spectrum communications technology, a key to modern wireless communication.

== Quotes ==
* '''Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.'''
** As quoted in ''The Stars'' (1962) by [[w:Richard Schickel|Richard Schickel]]

=== &quot;Hubba, Hubba Hubba—It's Hedy!&quot; (1971) ===
&lt;small&gt;Quotes of Lamarr from the ''[[New York Times]]'' article &quot;[https://www.nytimes.com/1971/09/26/archives/hubba-hubba-hubba-its-hedy.html Hubba, Hubba Hubba—It's Hedy!]&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* Is that chubby‐faced Austrian kid in ''[[w:Boom Town|Boom Town]]'' actually me? Did I really wait on the set (being the newest and having the smallest role) to do my close ups, just to wind up looking like that? [[Clark Gable]], so warm and friendly to the insecure actress … [[Claudette Colbert]], such a lady to me, although much higher in the MGM pecking order.

* '''''[[w:Ziegfeld Girl|Ziegfeld Girl]]''. When I see those infinite stairs in that lavish production number that out‐Metro's even [[w:Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer|Metro]], I break up.''' The director, [[w:Robert Z. Leonard|Robert Z. Leonard]], had instructed me to walk down them regally, with [[Lana Turner|Lana]] on one side and my dear friend [[Judy Garland|Judy]] on the other. I was to float with head erect, arms disdainfully away from my body in the accepted Ziegfeld manner, and never, but never, look down to see where I was going. '''The fact that I couldn't see in the blinding lights, even straight ahead, was small consolation. And so I descended, teetering down what felt like millions of steps, in a glorious [[w:Adrian (costume designer)|Adrian]] costume encrusted with enough twinkling stars to make [[Neil Armstrong]] jealous.''' Out of camera range, a board was strapped on my back, and part of the headdress was attached to this apparatus. Also out of camera range, my bosom was taped from behind and I felt a little like some religious penitent in the 13th century walking in a torture procession. And so I came, smilingly, my back top‐heavy, and as I paraded gingerly down each stair, I had to dispel thoughts of losing my balance and toppling over headlong down the entire set to the ground miles below—board, tapes, twinkling stars and all …

* More stairs, only this time it's in ''[[w:Samson and Delilah (1949 film)|Samson and Delilah]]''. Now, I'm ascending them, dragging poor, blinded [[w:Victor Mature|Victor Mature]] by the handle of a whip. '''The set is as gigantically faint‐making as anything [[Cecil B. DeMille|Mr. De Mille]] ever conceived, and every single extra within a 50 mile radius seems to be assembled as I slowly lead [[w:Samson|Samson]] to the top, where he is scheduled to pull the two enormous pillars of the temple down around his ears and everyone else's. And do you know what I am thinking as I watch this panoply on my television screen? Quite simply, it is &quot;I can't take another step in those damn forties. high heels! … &quot;''' And, again, in ''Samson'', in the scene where I look dewy‐eyed while golden coins are poured over my feet as a reward for betraying Samson. Well, Mr. De Mille, whom I got along with beautifully, dragged me out of a sick bed for that one, and the dewy eyes are a direct result of a roaring 104‐degree fever.

* '''''[[w:I Take This Woman|I Take This Woman]]'', with [[Spencer Tracy]].''' We were seated around a table one day, rehearsing our lines. It was my first Metro film, and little Hedy was learning English, when Spencer turned to me and said, briskly, &quot;Get me a taxi.&quot; I obligingly arose and started to walk toward the sound‐stage door, not realizing that it was the next line in the script. '''He was a great actor, but there were times when he made me cry. He was not precisely my favorite person.'''

* ''[[w:Come Live With Me|Come Live With Me]]'', with [[James Stewart|Jimmy Stewart]], one of the sweetest men in the world. I was so happy about this picture; it was my first chance to do a charming, humorous story. Until then, my image was that of an exotic creature. My character name in that movie was Johnny Jones. '''In ''[[w:H. M. Pulham, Esq.|H. M. Pulham, Esq.]]'', I was tagged Marvin Myles, and in ''[[w:Comrade X|Comrade X]]'' I was christened Theodore. Why, I wondered, did they give a supposedly sexy lady such weird names? Ah, [[Hollywood]]!'''

* ''[[w:Her Highness and the Bellboy|Her Highness and the Bellboy]]''. There I am, eight months pregnant, being photographed behind potted palms and in full ball gowns, which fortunately fit the story.

* Clark Gable and I, in ''Comrade X''. Although I never quite understood his sex appeal, I thought he was one of the nicest people I'd met, and a great practical joker.

*  '''Is that actually my voice, singing in ''[[w:The Heavenly Body|The Heavenly Body]]'' and ''[[w:My Favorite Spy|My Favorite Spy]]''? You bet it is! You'd be surprised how well you can sing when you're rich!'''

*  ''[[w:White Cargo|White Cargo]]''. &quot;I am Tondelayo&quot;—and I had to get up with the chickens to have the dark make‐up put on all over my body. I was proud of my authentic African dance, which I rehearsed for weeks, and which gave me splinters in my feet. It was done with a bed showing in the background, and it was so sexy almost all of the scene was cut. How I'd like to own that footage today!

* ''[[w:Tortilla Flat|Tortilla Flat]]'', with Spencer Tracy, [[w:John Garfield|John Garfield]] and [[w:Frank Morgan|Frank Morgan]]. '''John Garfield was wonderful to work with. He later told ''Life'' magazine, &quot;I tried to steal scenes from Hedy, Hedy tried to steal them from Frank, Frank tried to steal them from me, and the dogs (Morgan's) stole the show.&quot;'''

=== ''Popcorn in Paradise'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of Lamarr from ''Popcorn in Paradise : The Wit and Wisdom of Hollywood'' (1980) by [[w:John Robert Colombo|John Robert Colombo]], p. 67&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I win because I learned years ago that scared money always loses. I never care, so I win.'''

* I was the highest-priced and most important star in Hollywood, but I was &quot;difficult.&quot;

* To be a star is to own the world and all the people in it. After a taste of stardom, everything else is poverty.

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* When you see a very beautiful face, it’s stunning, and you yourself become stupefied. So you project your own stupidity onto the person you’re looking at.
** Lisa Heiserman Perkins [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/science/01angier.html?_r=0 NYTimes]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons}}
*{{imdb name|id=0001443|name=Hedy Lamarr}}
*[http://www.reelclassics.com/Actresses/Lamarr/lamarr.htm Hedy Lamarr at Reel Classics]
*[http://www.hedylamarr.org Hedy Lamarr foundation]
*[http://www.inventions.org/culture/female/lamarr.html Inventions.org page on Hedy Lamarr]
*[http://www.altfg.com/blog/archives/2007/02/13/hedy-lamarr-biographer-patrick-agan-discusses-the-legendary-hollywood-star/ Interview with Hedy Lamarr biographer Patrick Agan]
*[http://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/it/1997/4/1997_4_10.shtml &quot;Advanced Weaponry of the Stars&quot; by Prof. Hans-Joachim Braun in ''Invention &amp; Technology'' (an article about Hedy Lamarr's patent)]
*[http://www.inventors-day.com Annual Inventor's Day on her Birthday]


{{DEFAULTSORT:Lamarr, Hedy}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Vienna]]
[[Category:Inventors]]
[[Category:1914 births]]
[[Category:2000 deaths]]</text>
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      <id>3154795</id>
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      <text bytes="10120" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Hedy Lamarr in Let's Live a Little (1948).jpg|thumb|right|Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.]]
[[File:Hedy Lamarr Ziegfeld Girl.jpg|thumb|And so I descended, teetering down what felt like millions of steps, in a glorious Adrian costume encrusted with enough twinkling stars to make Neil Armstrong jealous.]]	
[[File:I Take This Woman 1940.jpg|thumb|Spencer Tracy... He was a great actor, but there were times when he made me cry. He was not precisely my favorite person.]]
[[File:Hedy Lamarr and John Garfield in 'Tortilla Flat', 1942.jpg|thumb|John Garfield was wonderful to work with. He later told ''Life'' magazine, &quot;I tried to steal scenes from Hedy, Hedy tried to steal them from Frank, Frank tried to steal them from me, and the dogs (Morgan's) stole the show.&quot;]]	

'''[[w:Hedy Lamarr|Hedy Lamarr]]''' ([[9 November]] [[1914]] – [[19 January]] [[2000]]) was an Austrian-born American actress. Though known primarily for her great beauty on camera, she also co-invented an early form of spread spectrum communications technology, a key to modern wireless communication.

== Quotes ==
* '''Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.'''
** As quoted in ''The Stars'' (1962) by [[w:Richard Schickel|Richard Schickel]]

=== &quot;Would You Believe I Was Once A Famous Star? It's the Truth!&quot; (1970) ===
&lt;small&gt;Quotes of Lamarr from the ''[[New York Times]]'' article &quot;[https://www.nytimes.com/1970/08/23/archives/would-you-believe-i-was-once-a-famous-star-its-the-truth-hedy.html Would You Believe I Was Once A Famous Star? It's the Truth!]&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* Which director did I like? I've for gotten which. Some of them were not so nice. When somebody isn't accepted by me, it's complete hate. One director never spoke to me, not even hello in the morning. Mr. Mayer never spoke to me. One day I said, &quot;Mr. Mayer, why don't you ever say hello to me?&quot; He said, &quot;Why should I? You're not my wife.&quot; It was only because I wouldn't sleep with him. I didn't know anything filthy went on.

* First he married [[Joan Bennett]], then he married me, then he married [[w:Myrna Loy|Myrna Loy]]. I had a wonderful first love affair. I like men. [[w:Gene Markey|Gene Markey]] was the only civilized man. He used to spit into a [[w:Spittoon|spittoon]].

* '''I was at the studio at seven in the morning, putting on an evening gown, but I couldn't wait to get home to my children to be a nurse.''' What does [[Ava Gardner]] know? She never had a child, which is what it's all about. It's the truth!

* '''The most horrible whores are famous. I did what I did for love. The others did it for money.'''

* A writer, a brilliant writer, wants to write the real book about me. He wants to call it ''The Users''—the people who have used me.

* They wanted something cheap and stupid. They wanted something dumb. But I have little shelves in my brain, and it's all there, it's the truth.

=== &quot;Hubba, Hubba Hubba—It's Hedy!&quot; (1971) ===
&lt;small&gt;Quotes of Lamarr from the ''[[New York Times]]'' article &quot;[https://www.nytimes.com/1971/09/26/archives/hubba-hubba-hubba-its-hedy.html Hubba, Hubba Hubba—It's Hedy!]&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* Is that chubby‐faced Austrian kid in ''[[w:Boom Town|Boom Town]]'' actually me? Did I really wait on the set (being the newest and having the smallest role) to do my close ups, just to wind up looking like that? [[Clark Gable]], so warm and friendly to the insecure actress … [[Claudette Colbert]], such a lady to me, although much higher in the MGM pecking order.

* '''''[[w:Ziegfeld Girl|Ziegfeld Girl]]''. When I see those infinite stairs in that lavish production number that out‐Metro's even [[w:Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer|Metro]], I break up.''' The director, [[w:Robert Z. Leonard|Robert Z. Leonard]], had instructed me to walk down them regally, with [[Lana Turner|Lana]] on one side and my dear friend [[Judy Garland|Judy]] on the other. I was to float with head erect, arms disdainfully away from my body in the accepted Ziegfeld manner, and never, but never, look down to see where I was going. '''The fact that I couldn't see in the blinding lights, even straight ahead, was small consolation. And so I descended, teetering down what felt like millions of steps, in a glorious [[w:Adrian (costume designer)|Adrian]] costume encrusted with enough twinkling stars to make [[Neil Armstrong]] jealous.''' Out of camera range, a board was strapped on my back, and part of the headdress was attached to this apparatus. Also out of camera range, my bosom was taped from behind and I felt a little like some religious penitent in the 13th century walking in a torture procession. And so I came, smilingly, my back top‐heavy, and as I paraded gingerly down each stair, I had to dispel thoughts of losing my balance and toppling over headlong down the entire set to the ground miles below—board, tapes, twinkling stars and all …

* More stairs, only this time it's in ''[[w:Samson and Delilah (1949 film)|Samson and Delilah]]''. Now, I'm ascending them, dragging poor, blinded [[w:Victor Mature|Victor Mature]] by the handle of a whip. '''The set is as gigantically faint‐making as anything [[Cecil B. DeMille|Mr. De Mille]] ever conceived, and every single extra within a 50 mile radius seems to be assembled as I slowly lead [[w:Samson|Samson]] to the top, where he is scheduled to pull the two enormous pillars of the temple down around his ears and everyone else's. And do you know what I am thinking as I watch this panoply on my television screen? Quite simply, it is &quot;I can't take another step in those damn forties. high heels! … &quot;''' And, again, in ''Samson'', in the scene where I look dewy‐eyed while golden coins are poured over my feet as a reward for betraying Samson. Well, Mr. De Mille, whom I got along with beautifully, dragged me out of a sick bed for that one, and the dewy eyes are a direct result of a roaring 104‐degree fever.

* '''''[[w:I Take This Woman|I Take This Woman]]'', with [[Spencer Tracy]].''' We were seated around a table one day, rehearsing our lines. It was my first Metro film, and little Hedy was learning English, when Spencer turned to me and said, briskly, &quot;Get me a taxi.&quot; I obligingly arose and started to walk toward the sound‐stage door, not realizing that it was the next line in the script. '''He was a great actor, but there were times when he made me cry. He was not precisely my favorite person.'''

* ''[[w:Come Live With Me|Come Live With Me]]'', with [[James Stewart|Jimmy Stewart]], one of the sweetest men in the world. I was so happy about this picture; it was my first chance to do a charming, humorous story. Until then, my image was that of an exotic creature. My character name in that movie was Johnny Jones. '''In ''[[w:H. M. Pulham, Esq.|H. M. Pulham, Esq.]]'', I was tagged Marvin Myles, and in ''[[w:Comrade X|Comrade X]]'' I was christened Theodore. Why, I wondered, did they give a supposedly sexy lady such weird names? Ah, [[Hollywood]]!'''

* ''[[w:Her Highness and the Bellboy|Her Highness and the Bellboy]]''. There I am, eight months pregnant, being photographed behind potted palms and in full ball gowns, which fortunately fit the story.

* Clark Gable and I, in ''Comrade X''. Although I never quite understood his sex appeal, I thought he was one of the nicest people I'd met, and a great practical joker.

*  '''Is that actually my voice, singing in ''[[w:The Heavenly Body|The Heavenly Body]]'' and ''[[w:My Favorite Spy|My Favorite Spy]]''? You bet it is! You'd be surprised how well you can sing when you're rich!'''

*  ''[[w:White Cargo|White Cargo]]''. &quot;I am Tondelayo&quot;—and I had to get up with the chickens to have the dark make‐up put on all over my body. I was proud of my authentic African dance, which I rehearsed for weeks, and which gave me splinters in my feet. It was done with a bed showing in the background, and it was so sexy almost all of the scene was cut. How I'd like to own that footage today!

* ''[[w:Tortilla Flat|Tortilla Flat]]'', with Spencer Tracy, [[w:John Garfield|John Garfield]] and [[w:Frank Morgan|Frank Morgan]]. '''John Garfield was wonderful to work with. He later told ''Life'' magazine, &quot;I tried to steal scenes from Hedy, Hedy tried to steal them from Frank, Frank tried to steal them from me, and the dogs (Morgan's) stole the show.&quot;'''

=== ''Popcorn in Paradise'' (1980) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of Lamarr from ''Popcorn in Paradise : The Wit and Wisdom of Hollywood'' (1980) by [[w:John Robert Colombo|John Robert Colombo]], p. 67&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I win because I learned years ago that scared money always loses. I never care, so I win.'''

* I was the highest-priced and most important star in Hollywood, but I was &quot;difficult.&quot;

* To be a star is to own the world and all the people in it. After a taste of stardom, everything else is poverty.

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* When you see a very beautiful face, it’s stunning, and you yourself become stupefied. So you project your own stupidity onto the person you’re looking at.
** Lisa Heiserman Perkins [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/science/01angier.html?_r=0 NYTimes]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons}}
*{{imdb name|id=0001443|name=Hedy Lamarr}}
*[http://www.reelclassics.com/Actresses/Lamarr/lamarr.htm Hedy Lamarr at Reel Classics]
*[http://www.hedylamarr.org Hedy Lamarr foundation]
*[http://www.inventions.org/culture/female/lamarr.html Inventions.org page on Hedy Lamarr]
*[http://www.altfg.com/blog/archives/2007/02/13/hedy-lamarr-biographer-patrick-agan-discusses-the-legendary-hollywood-star/ Interview with Hedy Lamarr biographer Patrick Agan]
*[http://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/it/1997/4/1997_4_10.shtml &quot;Advanced Weaponry of the Stars&quot; by Prof. Hans-Joachim Braun in ''Invention &amp; Technology'' (an article about Hedy Lamarr's patent)]
*[http://www.inventors-day.com Annual Inventor's Day on her Birthday]


{{DEFAULTSORT:Lamarr, Hedy}}
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Vienna]]
[[Category:Inventors]]
[[Category:1914 births]]
[[Category:2000 deaths]]</text>
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    <title>Hellraiser (film)</title>
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      <contributor>
        <username>Beestalman</username>
        <id>440730</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
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      <text bytes="2923" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Hellraiser'' (film)}}
[[File:Special Edition NYC 2015 - Pinhead (18519207906).jpg|thumb|No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.]]
'''''According to wikiquote.org [[w:Hellraiser|Hellraiser]]''''' is a [[w:1987 in film|1987]] British science fiction horror film written and directed by Clive Barker produced by Christopher Figg'', based on [[w:Clive Barker|barker's 1986]] novella [[w:The Hellbound Heart|The Hellbound Heart]].'' 
{{center|'''It will tear your soul apart.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Pinhead ==
[[File:Hellraiser Puzzle Box.jpg|thumb|The box. You opened it. We came.]]

* The box. You opened it. We came.
* You solved the box, we came. Now you must come with us. Taste our pleasures!
* No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.
* We have such sights to show you!
* We'll tear your soul apart!
* This isn't for your eyes!
* Ah, the suffering. The sweet, sweet suffering.

== Frank Cotton == 
* Come here, damn you, I want to touch you.
* I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits... pain and pleasure, indivisible.
* Come to Daddy.
* (As he is torn apart) Jesus wept.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': Who are you?
:'''Pinhead''': Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some. Angels to others.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': It's just a puzzle box!
:'''Pinhead''': Oh, no. It is a means to summon us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': Go to Hell!
:'''Female Cenobite''': We can't, not alone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pinhead''': We came. Now you must come with us. Taste our pleasures. Please...
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': go away and leave me alone!
:'''Pinhead''': Oh, no tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.

== Taglines ==
* We'll tear your soul apart.
* There are no limits.
* Satan's done waitin'.
* We have such sights to show you.
* Demons to some, Angels to others...

== Cast ==
* [[w:Doug Bradley|Doug Bradley]] - [[w:Pinhead (Hellraiser)|Pinhead]]
* [[w:Andrew Robinson|Andrew Robinson]] - Larry Cotton
* [[w:Clare Higgins|Clare Higgins]] - Julia Cotton
* [[w:Ashley Laurence|Ashley Laurence]] - [[w:Kirsty Cotton|Kirsty Cotton]]
* [[w:Sean Chapman|Sean Chapman]] - Frank Cotton
* [[w:Oliver Smith|Oliver Smith]] - Frank the Monster

== See also ==

* ''[[Hellbound: Hellraiser II]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Bloodline]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Inferno]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Hellseeker]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Deader]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Hellworld]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Revelations]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Hellraiser}}
* {{imdb title|id=0093177|title=Hellraiser}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=hellraiser|title=Hellraiser}}

[[Category:Cult films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Religious horror films]]
[[Category:British films]]
[[Category:1987 films]]
[[Category:Supernatural horror films]]</text>
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[[File:Special Edition NYC 2015 - Pinhead (18519207906).jpg|thumb|No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.]]
'''''According to wikiquote.org [[w:Hellraiser|Hellraiser]]''''' is a [[w:1987 in film|1987]] British science fiction horror film written and directed by Clive Barker produced by Christopher Figg'', based on [[w:Clive Barker|barker's 1986]] novella [[w:The Hellbound Heart|The Hellbound Heart]].''
{{center|'''It will tear your soul apart.''' &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Pinhead ==
[[File:Hellraiser Puzzle Box.jpg|thumb|The box. You opened it. We came.]]

* The box. You opened it. We came.
* You solved the box, we came. Now you must come with us. Taste our pleasures!
* No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.
* We have such sights to show you!
* We'll tear your soul apart!
* This isn't for your eyes!
* Ah, the suffering. The sweet, sweet suffering.

== Frank Cotton == 
* Come here, damn you, I want to touch you.
* I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits... pain and pleasure, indivisible.
* Come to Daddy.
* (As he is torn apart) Jesus wept.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': Who are you?
:'''Pinhead''': Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some. Angels to others.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': It's just a puzzle box!
:'''Pinhead''': Oh, no. It is a means to summon us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': Go to Hell!
:'''Female Cenobite''': We can't, not alone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pinhead''': We came. Now you must come with us. Taste our pleasures. Please...
:'''Kirsty Cotton''': go away and leave me alone!
:'''Pinhead''': Oh, no tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.

== Taglines ==
* We'll tear your soul apart.
* There are no limits.
* Satan's done waitin'.
* We have such sights to show you.
* Demons to some, Angels to others...

== Cast ==
* [[w:Doug Bradley|Doug Bradley]] - [[w:Pinhead (Hellraiser)|Pinhead]]
* [[w:Andrew Robinson|Andrew Robinson]] - Larry Cotton
* [[w:Clare Higgins|Clare Higgins]] - Julia Cotton
* [[w:Ashley Laurence|Ashley Laurence]] - [[w:Kirsty Cotton|Kirsty Cotton]]
* [[w:Sean Chapman|Sean Chapman]] - Frank Cotton
* [[w:Oliver Smith|Oliver Smith]] - Frank the Monster

== See also ==

* ''[[Hellbound: Hellraiser II]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Bloodline]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Inferno]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Hellseeker]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Deader]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Hellworld]]''
* ''[[Hellraiser: Revelations]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Hellraiser}}
* {{imdb title|id=0093177|title=Hellraiser}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=hellraiser|title=Hellraiser}}

[[Category:Cult films]]
[[Category:Films based on novels]]
[[Category:Religious horror films]]
[[Category:British films]]
[[Category:1987 films]]
[[Category:Supernatural horror films]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Unlisted names</title>
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      <comment>/* First/last name */ one out</comment>
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      <text bytes="21088" xml:space="preserve">{{People by name}}
==First/last name==
===M===
*[[Lionel Messi|Messi, Lionel]]
*[[Olivier Messiaen|Messiaen, Olivier]]
*[[Ioannis Metaxas|Metaxas, Ioannis]]
*[[Gustav Metzger|Metzger, Gustav]]
*[[Jean Metzinger|Metzinger, Jean]]
*[[Jason Mewes|Mewes, Jason]]
*[[Philipp Meyer|Meyer, Philipp]]
*[[Alice Meynell|Meynell, Alice]]
*[[François Mignet|Mignet, François]]
*[[Miguna Miguna|Miguna, Miguna]]
*[[John Milbank|Milbank, John]]
*[[Mordehai Milgrom|Milgrom, Mordehai]]
*[[Darius Milhaud|Milhaud, Darius]]
*[[Merton Miller|Miller, Merton]]
*[[Dan Millman|Millman, Dan]]
*[[James Mirrlees|Mirrlees, James]]
*[[Sania Mirza|Mirza, Sania]]
*[[Maximilien Misson|Misson, Maximilien]]
*[[Maia Mitchell|Mitchell, Maia]]
*[[Leonard Mlodinow|Mlodinow, Leonard]]
*[[Narendra Modi|Modi, Narendra]]
*[[Patrick Modiano|Modiano, Patrick]]
*[[Franco Modigliani|Modigliani, Franco]]
*[[Helena Modjeska|Modjeska, Helena]]
*[[Donald Moggridge|Moggridge, Donald]]
*[[Federica Mogherini|Mogherini, Federica]]
*[[Jacques Monod|Monod, Jacques]]
*[[Bill Monroe|Monroe, Bill]]
*[[Jack Monroe|Monroe, Jack]]
*[[Pierre Monteux|Monteux, Pierre]]
*[[Jean-Étienne Montucla|Montucla, Jean-Étienne]]
*[[Mohammad Mosaddegh|Mosaddegh, Mohammad]]
*[[Dambisa Moyo|Moyo, Dambisa]]
*[[Yok Mu-ming|Mu-ming, Yok]]
*[[Alice Munro|Munro, Alice]]

===S===
*[[John Senior|Senior, John]]
*[[Sohrab Sepehri|Sepehri, Sohrab]]
*[[Georges Seurat|Seurat, Georges]]
*[[Quintus Sextius|Sextius, Quintus]]
*[[Kapil Sibal|Sibal, Kapil]]
*[[Vincent Siew|Siew, Vincent]]
*[[Paul Signac|Signac, Paul]]
*[[Norodom Sihanouk|Sihanouk, Norodom]]
*[[Georg Simmel|Simmel, Georg]]
*[[Charan Singh|Singh, Charan]]
*[[Karpal Singh|Singh, Karpal]]
*[[Milkha Singh|Singh, Milkha]]
*[[Zail Singh|Singh, Zail]]
*[[Quentin Skinner|Skinner, Quentin]]
*[[Mark Skousen|Skousen, Mark]]
*[[Walter Slezak|Slezak, Walter]]
*[[Peter Sloterdijk|Sloterdijk, Peter]]
*[[Vaclav Smil|Smil, Vaclav]]
*[[Lee Smolin|Smolin, Lee]]
*[[Rob Smyth|Smyth, Rob]]
*[[Vladimir Sofronitsky|Sofronitsky, Vladimir]]
*[[Qasem Soleimani|Soleimani, Qasem]]
*[[Andrew Solomon|Solomon, Andrew]]
*[[Ilya Somin|Somin, Ilya]]
*[[James Soong|Soong, James]]
*[[Didier Sornette|Sornette, Didier]]
*[[Stanisław Sosabowski|Sosabowski, Stanisław]]
*[[Nicholas Sparks|Sparks, Nicholas]]
*[[August Spies|Spies, August]]
*[[Pat Spillane|Spillane, Pat]]
*[[Piero Sraffa|Sraffa, Piero]]
*[[Eric Stanley|Stanley, Eric]]
*[[Brandon Stanton|Stanton, Brandon]]
*[[Diederik Stapel|Stapel, Diederik]]
*[[Philippe Starck|Starck, Philippe]]
*[[Maggie Stiefvater|Stiefvater, Maggie]]
*[[George Stigler|Stigler, George]]
*[[Joseph Stiglitz|Stiglitz, Joseph]]
*[[Alfred Stillé|Stillé, Alfred]]
*[[Jerry Stiller|Stiller, Jerry]]
*[[Dejan Stojanovic|Stojanovic, Dejan]]
*[[Marilyn Stokstad|Stokstad, Marilyn]]
*[[Richard Stone|Stone, Richard]]
*[[Edward Storer|Storer, Edward]]
*[[Tim Storey|Storey, Tim]]
*[[Gordon Strachan|Strachan, Gordon]]
*[[Meryl Streep|Streep, Meryl]]
*[[Burnett Streeter|Streeter, Burnett]]
*[[Gustav Stresemann|Stresemann, Gustav]]
*[[Joseph Strutt|Strutt, Joseph]]
*[[Marita Sturken|Sturken, Marita]]
*[[Prabowo Subianto|Subianto, Prabowo]]
*[[John Summerson|Summerson, John]]
*[[Ts'ao Sung|Sung, Ts'ao]]
*[[Henry Suso|Suso, Henry]]
*[[Graham Sutton|Sutton, Graham]]
*[[Subramanian Swamy|Swamy, Subramanian]]
*[[Paul Sweezy|Sweezy, Paul]]
*[[John Swinton|Swinton, John]]
*[[Eric Sykes|Sykes, Eric]]
*[[Ronald Syme|Syme, Ronald]]
*[[Michael Szenberg|Szenberg, Michael]]

===T-V===
*[[Violet Trefusis|Trefusis, Violet]]
*[[Lila Tretikov|Tretikov, Lila]]
*[[Julian Trevelyan|Trevelyan, Julian]]
*[[Eric Trist|Trist, Eric]]
*[[Jonathan Tropper|Tropper, Jonathan]]
*[[Leah Tsemel|Tsemel, Leah]]
*[[Su Tseng-chang|Tseng-chang, Su]]
*[[Konstantin Tsiolkovsky|Tsiolkovsky, Konstantin]]
*[[Alexis Tsipras|Tsipras, Alexis]]
*[[Rati Tsiteladze|Tsiteladze, Rati]]
*[[Khem Veasna|Veasna, Khem]]
*[[Sándor Végh|Végh, Sándor]]
*[[R. Venkataraman|Venkataraman, R.]]
*[[Johannes Vermeer|Vermeer, Johannes]]
*[[Enrique Vila-Matas|Vila-Matas, Enrique]]
*[[Victor Villaseñor|Villaseñor, Victor]]
*[[Martin Villeneuve|Villeneuve, Martin]]
*[[Samuel Vince|Vince, Samuel]]
*[[Gene Vincent|Vincent, Gene]]
*[[Bill Viola|Viola, Bill]]
*[[Judith Viorst|Viorst, Judith]]
*[[Tejinder Virdee|Virdee, Tejinder]]
*[[Maurizio Viroli|Viroli, Maurizio]]
*[[Shawna Vogel|Vogel, Shawna]]
*[[Paul Volcker|Volcker, Paul]]
*[[Wolf Vostell|Vostell, Wolf]]
*[[Tom Vu|Vu, Tom]]

===W-Y===
*[[Margaret Wheatley|Wheatley, Margaret]]
*[[Charles Wheelan|Wheelan, Charles]]
*[[Stuart Wheeler|Wheeler, Stuart]]
*[[Mary Whitehouse|Whitehouse, Mary]]
*[[Helmin Wiels|Wiels, Helmin]]
*[[Eugene Wigner|Wigner, Eugene]]
*[[Tom Wills|Wills, Tom]]
*[[Rebecca Wirfs-Brock|Wirfs-Brock, Rebecca]]
*[[Howard Wise|Wise, Howard]]
*[[Eric Wolf|Wolf, Eric]]
*[[Alan Wolfe|Wolfe, Alan]]
*[[Sheldon Wolin|Wolin, Sheldon]]
*[[Thomas Wolsey|Wolsey, Thomas]]
*[[Jack Woodford|Woodford, Jack]]
*[[Robert Woodhouse|Woodhouse, Robert]]
*[[John Woolman|Woolman, John]]
*[[Lawrence Wright|Wright, Lawrence]]

==Qualified names==
*[[Nick Herbert (physicist)|Herbert, Nick]] (physicist)
*[[Martin Hollis (philosopher)|Hollis, Martin]] (philosopher)
*[[John Hoover (consultant)|Hoover, John]] (consultant)
*[[John Howe (illustrator)|Howe, John]] (illustrator)
*[[Robert Hunter (author)|Hunter, Robert]] (author)
*[[Thomas Hutchinson (governor)|Hutchinson, Thomas]] (governor)
*[[James Hutton (Moravian)|Hutton, James]] (Moravian)
*[[Robert Lloyd (poet)|Lloyd, Robert]] (poet)
*[[George Long (scholar)|Long, George]] (scholar)
*[[James Martin (author)|Martin, James]] (author)
*[[Roy McDonald (politician)|McDonald, Roy]] (politician)
*[[Richard Miles (historian)|Miles, Richard]] (historian)
*[[Alex Miller (writer)|Miller, Alex]] (writer)
*[[John Minton (artist)|Minton, John]] (artist)
*[[Graham Moore (writer)|Moore, Graham]] (writer)
*[[John Pearson (author)|Pearson, John]] (author)
*[[Roger Price (comedy)|Price, Roger]] (comedy)
*[[Walter Raleigh (professor)|Raleigh, Walter]] (professor)
*[[William Robertson (historian)|Robertson, William]] (historian)
*[[Theodore Roszak (scholar)|Roszak, Theodore]] (scholar)
*[[John Taylor (1578–1653)|Taylor, John]] (1578–1653)
*[[Charles Taylor (philosopher)|Taylor, Charles]] (philosopher)
*[[Clive Thompson (journalist)|Thompson, Clive]] (journalist)
*[[Andrew Thomson (Broughton)|Thomson, Andrew]] (Broughton)
*[[Sheila Walsh (singer)|Walsh, Sheila]] (singer)
*[[Jessamyn West (writer)|West, Jessamyn]] (writer)
*[[Christopher Wood (writer)|Wood, Christopher]] (writer)

==Longer names==
*[[Queen Mathilde of Belgium]]
*[[Reinout Willem van Bemmelen]]
*[[Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai]]
*[[Étienne de La Boétie]]
*[[Charles Alexandre de Calonne]]
*[[Étienne Bonnot de Condillac]]
*[[Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall]]
*[[Javier Pérez de Cuéllar]]
*[[Princess Marie of Denmark]]
*[[Christian Heinrich von Dillmann]]
*[[Ernst, Baron von Feuchtersleben]]
*[[Henry IV of France]]
*[[James Whitbread Lee Glaisher]]
*[[H. D. Deve Gowda]]
*[[Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia]]
*[[N. G. L. Hammond]]
*[[Emperor Gaozu of Han]]
*[[Krishna Raja Wadiyar IV]]
*[[B. K. S. Iyengar]]
*[[Francis Jeffrey, Lord Jeffrey]]
*[[Alfred D. Chandler, Jr.]]
*[[Richard Henry Dana, Jr.]]
*[[Ronald J. Garan, Jr.]]
*[[William Frederick Halsey, Jr.]]
*[[John Forbes Nash, Jr.]]
*[[Edgar A. Singer, Jr.]]
*[[Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair]]
*[[F. W. de Klerk]]
*[[V. V. S. Laxman]]
*[[Alphonsus Maria de Liguori]]
*[[Pierre Charles Alexandre Louis]]
*[[Hugh Macmillan, Baron Macmillan]]
*[[Henry James Sumner Maine]]
*[[Musa I of Mali]]
*[[J. M. E. McTaggart]]
*[[Giovanni Pico della Mirandola]]
*[[Mohammed VI of Morocco]]
*[[N. R. Narayana Murthy]]
*[[E. M. S. Namboodiripad]]
*[[Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands]]
*[[George Jackson (Black Panther)]]
*[[R. W. K. Paterson]]
*[[Juan José Cuadros Pérez]]
*[[Thomas Cooper (U.S. politician)]]
*[[P. V. Narasimha Rao]]
*[[C. N. R. Rao]]
*[[N. T. Rama Rao]]
*[[Jacques-Henri Bernardin de Saint-Pierre]]
*[[Isidro A. T. Savillo]]
*[[Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel]]
*[[Heinrich Christian Friedrich Schumacher]]
*[[Jeffrey Friedman (political scientist)]]
*[[Francis (Frank) Reginald Scott]]
*[[Cora L. V. Scott]]
*[[Robert Skidelsky, Baron Skidelsky]]
*[[Jesús Huerta de Soto]]
*[[Robert D. San Souci]]
*[[Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Sr.]]
*[[Roy R. Grinker, Sr.]]
*[[Edith Summerskill, Baroness Summerskill]]
*[[George Frederick James Temple]]
*[[Calvin Thomas (critical theorist)]]
*[[Stuart Hall (cultural theorist)]]
*[[Jose Cecilio del Valle]]
*[[Uthradom Thirunal Marthanda Varma]]
*[[Swathi Thirunal Rama Varma]]
*[[A. E. van Vogt]]
*[[Prince Harry of Wales]]
*[[Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward]]
*[[Carole Morin]]
*[[Carter G. Woodson]]
*[[John Gardner (British writer)]]
*[[James, son of Zebedee]]
*[[Thomas the Apostle]]
*[[Frank Martinus Arion]]
*[[W. Brian Arthur]]
*[[Timothy Shay Arthur]]
*[[Rukmini Devi Arundale]]
*[[Timothy Garton Ash]]
*[[W. Ross Ashby]]
*[[Adolf von Baeyer]]
*[[Robert T. Bakker]]
*[[Béla H. Bánáthy]]
*[[Weston La Barre]]
*[[Howard S. Becker]]
*[[Philippe of Belgium]]
*[[Eric Temple Bell]]
*[[Paul K. Benedict]]
*[[John G. Bennett]]
*[[Edward V. Berard]]
*[[Peter L. Berger]]
*[[Adolf A. Berle]]
*[[William J. Bernstein]]
*[[Ludwig von Bertalanffy]]
*[[R. P. Blackmur]]
*[[Gian Domenico Borasio]]
*[[Jagadish Chandra Bose]]
*[[P. W. Botha]]
*[[House of Bourbon]]
*[[Carl B. Boyer]]
*[[Jennifer Finney Boylan]]
*[[Claude Fayette Bragdon]]
*[[T. Berry Brazelton]]
*[[Anders Behring Breivik]]
*[[James Herbert Brennan]]
*[[John O. Brennan]]
*[[Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin]]
*[[David S. Broder]]
*[[Denise Scott Brown]]
*[[James M. Buchanan]]
*[[Henry Thomas Buckle]]
*[[Walter F. Buckley]]
*[[Hans von Bülow]]
*[[Tom R. Burns]]
*[[Richard M. Burton]]
*[[Edwin Arthur Burtt]]
*[[Nicholas Murray Butler]]
*[[Basil of Caesarea]]
*[[Giovanni della Casa]]
*[[Herbert N. Casson]]
*[[Philip Ó Ceallaigh]]
*[[William Henry Channing]]
*[[Suniti Kumar Chatterji]]
*[[Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay]]
*[[John S. Chen]]
*[[Richard of Chichester]]
*[[Robert Erskine Childers]]
*[[Clayton M. Christensen]]
*[[C. West Churchman]]
*[[William St Clair]]
*[[I. Bernard Cohen]]
*[[Morris Raphael Cohen]]
*[[William S. Cohen]]
*[[Samuel T. Cohen]]
*[[James H. Cone]]
*[[Edwin Grant Conklin]]
*[[Elias James Corey]]
*[[Uriel da Costa]]
*[[Antoine Augustin Cournot]]
*[[Anne Ross Cousin]]
*[[W. Maxwell Cowan]]
*[[James Gould Cozzens]]
*[[Lee Daniel Crocker]]
*[[Burrill Bernard Crohn]]
*[[Alistair Cameron Crombie]]
*[[Samuel McChord Crothers]]
*[[Nicholas of Cusa]]
*[[Robert A. Dahl]]
*[[Herman E. Daly]]
*[[Ann B. Davis]]
*[[J. Bradford DeLong]]
*[[John Theophilus Desaguliers]]
*[[Gordon R. Dickson]]
*[[Francis X. Diebold]]
*[[Roy E. Disney]]
*[[Stephen A. Douglas]]
*[[Constantinos Apostolou Doxiadis]]
*[[Regina E. Dugan]]
*[[John William Dunne]]
*[[Michael Madhusudan Dutta]]
*[[Abdel Fattah el-Sisi]]
*[[Richard T. Ely]]
*[[Richard F. Ericson]]
*[[George Bird Evans]]
*[[Yaroslav Alexandrovich Evdokimov]]
*[[George Stanley Faber]]
*[[J. Doyne Farmer]]
*[[Charles H. Fernald]]
*[[Henry Burchard Fine]]
*[[Joshua Girling Fitch]]
*[[Robert L. Flood]]
*[[Samuel C. Florman]]
*[[Angela of Foligno]]
*[[Mary Parker Follett]]
*[[James David Forbes]]
*[[Jay Wright Forrester]]
*[[Douglas John Foskett]]
*[[William Trufant Foster]]
*[[Mark S. Fox]]
*[[Lawrence K. Frank]]
*[[George M. Fredrickson]]
*[[R. Edward Freeman]]
*[[Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven]]
*[[Alice T. Friedman]]
*[[Ernest J. Gaines]]
*[[Brian R. Gaines]]
*[[James K. Galbraith]]
*[[Jay R. Galbraith]]
*[[Michael Scott Gallegos]]
*[[Frank Honywill George]]
*[[Dagobert von Gerhardt]]
*[[V. V. Giri]]
*[[Ernst von Glasersfeld]]
*[[Gopal Krishna Gokhale]]
*[[Eliyahu M. Goldratt]]
*[[Cyrus H. Gordon]]
*[[Remy de Gourmont]]
*[[W. S. Graham]]
*[[Clementina Stirling Graham]]
*[[Heber J. Grant]]
*[[Alfred Perceval Graves]]
*[[Mark J. Green]]
*[[Duncan Farquharson Gregory]]
*[[Francis J. Grimké]]
*[[I. K. Gujral]]
*[[D. V. Gundappa]]
*[[Robert Lee Hale]]
*[[Arthur D. Hall]]
*[[Wayne Denis Hall]]
*[[G. Stanley Hall]]
*[[Daniel S. Hamermesh]]
*[[Lars Peter Hansen]]
*[[W. Averell Harriman]]
*[[Seymour E. Harris]]
*[[M. John Harrison]]
*[[David Bentley Hart]]
*[[David G. Haskell]]
*[[John Twelve Hawks]]
*[[Ralph George Hawtrey]]
*[[John L. Heilbron]]
*[[Harold Gould Henderson]]
*[[Yitzhak HaLevi Herzog]]
*[[Julius Erasmus Hilgard]]
*[[Julia Butterfly Hill]]
*[[Paul von Hindenburg]]
*[[Albert O. Hirschman]]
*[[George Frisbie Hoar]]
*[[Leonard Trelawny Hobhouse]]
*[[John A. Hobson]]
*[[E. W. Hobson]]
*[[James Neil Hollingworth]]
*[[Richard A. Horsley]]
*[[Michelle J. Howard]]
*[[E. W. Howe]]
*[[George Holmes Howison]]
*[[Richard Holt Hutton]]
*[[Stephen the Hymnographer]]
*[[Pope Julius II]]
*[[Adlai Stevenson II]]
*[[Ben Witherington III]]
*[[Masti Venkatesha Iyengar]]
*[[Michael A. Jackson]]
*[[Michael C. Jackson]]
*[[Henry M. Jackson]]
*[[Harry V. Jaffa]]
*[[E. L. James]]
*[[Basappa Danappa Jatti]]
*[[K. Pattabhi Jois]]
*[[Mark D. Jordan]]
*[[Hussein of Jordan]]
*[[David Starr Jordan]]
*[[Robert Downey, Jr.]]
*[[Hubert Selby, Jr.]]
*[[Thomas Watson, Jr.]]
*[[Robert L. Kahn]]
*[[Johann de Kalb]]
*[[Rudolf E. Kálmán]]
*[[Karl William Kapp]]
*[[Girish Raghunath Karnad]]
*[[Albert Galloway Keller]]
*[[Edwin W. Kemmerer]]
*[[Brigit of Kildare]]
*[[Jim Yong Kim]]
*[[Charles P. Kindleberger]]
*[[Peter T. King]]
*[[John W. Kingdon]]
*[[Adolph Freiherr Knigge]]
*[[Hermann Friedrich Kohlbrugge]]
*[[S. M. Krishna]]
*[[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]]
*[[Eugene M. Kulischer]]
*[[George Trumbull Ladd]]
*[[Paul de Lagarde]]
*[[B. B. Lal]]
*[[K. S. Lal]]
*[[Oskar R. Lange]]
*[[Elizabeth Wormeley Latimer]]
*[[Comte de Lautréamont]]
*[[William Elford Leach]]
*[[Henrietta Swan Leavitt]]
*[[Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin]]
*[[Albert L. Lehninger]]
*[[Kings of Leon]]
*[[Rosanna Eleanor Leprohon]]
*[[Charles Robert Leslie]]
*[[Thomas Charles Lethbridge]]
*[[W. Arthur Lewis]]
*[[Joe E. Lewis]]
*[[Frederick Pei Li]]
*[[Donald H. Liles]]
*[[Charles E. Lindblom]]
*[[Lucy R. Lippard]]
*[[John William Lloyd]]
*[[Fred von Lohmann]]
*[[Edward Norton Lorenz]]
*[[Michael J. Loux]]
*[[John Livingston Lowes]]
*[[L. S. Lowry]]
*[[Henri of Luxembourg]]
*[[Robert Staughton Lynd]]
*[[Robert E. Machol]]
*[[Alan Lindsay Mackay]]
*[[Kenneth D. Mackenzie]]
*[[William H. Macy]]
*[[Prasanta Chandra Mahalanobis]]
*[[R. C. Majumdar]]
*[[François de Malherbe]]
*[[Orison Swett Marden]]
*[[Andrew W. Marshall]]
*[[William Moulton Marston]]
*[[Thomas Lansing Masson]]
*[[George Ballard Mathews]]
*[[Milton S. Mayer]]
*[[William James Mayo]]
*[[Warren S. McCulloch]]
*[[Vonda N. McIntyre]]
*[[William Hardy McNeill]]
*[[Gardiner C. Means]]
*[[Paul E. Meehl]]
*[[Stephen J. Mellor]]
*[[J. Gordon Melton]]
*[[Mihajlo D. Mesarovic]]
*[[Matta El Meskeen]]
*[[Klemens von Metternich]]
*[[Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli]]
*[[Albert A. Michelson]]
*[[James Grier Miller]]
*[[Richard von Mises]]
*[[Gustave de Molinari]]
*[[G. E. Moore]]
*[[Mary Tyler Moore]]
*[[Charles A. Moose]]
*[[Paul Elmer More]]
*[[Robert C. Morgan]]
*[[Lewis H. Morgan]]
*[[George L.K. Morris]]
*[[Henry M. Morris]]
*[[James K. Morrow]]
*[[Usama ibn Munqidh]]
*[[R. K. Narayan]]
*[[S. Nambi Narayanan]]
*[[K. R. Narayanan]]
*[[Fali Sam Nariman]]
*[[George Jean Nathan]]
*[[Samuel of Nehardea]]
*[[A. S. Neill]]
*[[Enrique Peña Nieto]]
*[[Isaac of Nineveh]]
*[[Attar of Nishapur]]
*[[David L. Norton]]
*[[Lama Ole Nydahl]]
*[[Gregory of Nyssa]]
*[[William of Ockham]]
*[[Wendy Doniger O'Flaherty]]
*[[Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu]]
*[[Vladimir de Pachmann]]
*[[Boyd K. Packer]]
*[[Francesco Mario Pagano]]
*[[Mohammad Reza Pahlavi]]
*[[Nam June Paik]]
*[[K. M. Panikkar]]
*[[Francis Wayland Parker]]
*[[J. R. Partington]]
*[[Gregory Scott Paul]]
*[[Joseph Chilton Pearce]]
*[[F. David Peat]]
*[[Marine Le Pen]]
*[[Duarte Pacheco Pereira]]
*[[William Henry Perkin]]
*[[Mai Văn Phấn]]
*[[William Lyon Phelps]]
*[[Arthur Wing Pinero]]
*[[J. F. Powers]]
*[[Francesco Balilla Pratella]]
*[[Hana Maria Pravda]]
*[[George D. Prentice]]
*[[James W. Prescott]]
*[[George R. Price]]
*[[Kuppali Venkatappa Puttappa]]
*[[Muhammad Ilyas Qadri]]
*[[Abd al-Karim Qasim]]
*[[Manuel L. Quezon]]
*[[Arthur W. Radford]]
*[[Henrique Capriles Radonski]]
*[[Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani]]
*[[Zia Haider Rahman]]
*[[A. R. Rahman]]
*[[Lala Lajpat Rai]]
*[[Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh]]
*[[C. V. Raman]]
*[[Frank P. Ramsey]]
*[[Mahadev Govind Ranade]]
*[[Dixy Lee Ray]]
*[[Neelam Sanjiva Reddy]]
*[[Thomas Brackett Reed]]
*[[Robert D. Richardson]]
*[[William C. Roberts]]
*[[Seth Jane Roberts]]
*[[Dennis Holme Robertson]]
*[[Arthur H. Robinson]]
*[[Thomas Romney Robinson]]
*[[Michael Della Rocca]]
*[[John M. Rodgers]]
*[[Carlos P. Romulo]]
*[[Harvey S. Rosen]]
*[[Allen B. Rosenstein]]
*[[Douglas T. Ross]]
*[[Jeanne W. Ross]]
*[[Bidhan Chandra Roy]]
*[[Gaius Musonius Rufus]]
*[[Rousas John Rushdoony]]
*[[Alexei Maxim Russell]]
*[[Charles Taze Russell]]
*[[Jason Scott Sadofsky]]
*[[K. L. Saigal]]
*[[Henri de Saint-Simon]]
*[[J. J. Sakurai]]
*[[Michael J. Sandel]]
*[[Gianni A. Sarcone]]
*[[Thomas J. Sargent]]
*[[Emil von Sauer]]
*[[Elmer Eric Schattschneider]]
*[[Friedrich Wilhelm Schulz]]
*[[Hans von Seeckt]]
*[[Mary Lee Settle]]
*[[Edward A. Shanken]]
*[[Shankar Dayal Sharma]]
*[[William F. Sharpe]]
*[[Lal Bahadur Shastri]]
*[[Billy Joe Shaver]]
*[[Francis Joseph Sherman]]
*[[Richard M. Sherman]]
*[[Robert J. Shiller]]
*[[Krishna Kant Shukla]]
*[[Jón Páll Sigmarsson]]
*[[Leslie Marmon Silko]]
*[[Maryanne Ellison Simmons]]
*[[Herbert A. Simon]]
*[[Henry Calvert Simons]]
*[[George Gaylord Simpson]]
*[[V. P. Singh]]
*[[Chaim Zelig Slonimsky]]
*[[William Henry Smyth]]
*[[Joseph B. Soloveitchik]]
*[[John F. Sowa]]
*[[Walter Raymond Spalding]]
*[[Adrienne von Speyr]]
*[[John Shelby Spong]]
*[[Edgar Bronfman, Sr.]]
*[[Walter Terence Stace]]
*[[Walter P. Stacy]]
*[[Earnest V. Starr]]
*[[Alfredo Di Stéfano]]
*[[Alexander H. Stephens]]
*[[Davor Ivo Stier]]
*[[Andrew Taylor Still]]
*[[Elizabeth Drew Stoddard]]
*[[P. F. Strawson]]
*[[M. S. Subbulakshmi]]
*[[Rose Rosengard Subotnik]]
*[[William Graham Sumner]]
*[[Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji]]
*[[M. S. Swaminathan]]
*[[Gurbachan Singh Talib]]
*[[Frederick Winslow Taylor]]
*[[Dita Von Teese]]
*[[Bal Gangadhar Tilak]]
*[[Jacopone da Todi]]
*[[Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec]]
*[[Thich Nhat Tu]]
*[[Jim B. Tucker]]
*[[Apollonius of Tyana]]
*[[Fritz von Uhde]]
*[[Karl Heinrich Ulrichs]]
*[[Laren Grey Umphlett]]
*[[Stuart A. Umpleby]]
*[[Douglas Den Uyl]]
*[[Atal Bihari Vajpayee]]
*[[Mariano Guadalupe Vallejo]]
*[[Migdia Chinea Varela]]
*[[Eugenio Cruz Vargas]]
*[[Pope Alexander VI]]
*[[Brian Campbell Vickery]]
*[[Jorge Rafael Videla]]
*[[Juan Antonio Villacañas]]
*[[Gregory St. Vincent]]
*[[Hugo De Vries]]
*[[William Grey Walter]]
*[[John Clive Ward]]
*[[Susan M. Watkins]]
*[[Aileen Osborn Webb]]
*[[Thaddus E. Weckowicz]]
*[[Karl E. Weick]]
*[[Sanford I. Weill]]
*[[Joseph N. Welch]]
*[[Richard S. Westfall]]
*[[Burton K. Wheeler]]
*[[Edward Higgins White]]
*[[Benjamin Lee Whorf]]
*[[Dingiri Banda Wijetunga]]
*[[Laura Ingalls Wilder]]
*[[Charles V. Willie]]
*[[James Grant Wilson]]
*[[Orde Charles Wingate]]
*[[Sidney G. Winter]]
*[[Clinton Edgar Woods]]
*[[Francis D. Wormuth]]
*[[Daniel A. Wren]]
*[[R. Lee Wrights]]
*[[Pope Leo XIII]]
*[[Iris Marion Young]]
*[[Robert Maxwell Young]]
*[[Lien Fang Yu]]

==Even longer names==
*[[Sultan bin Salman bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud]]
*[[Marc-René de Voyer de Paulmy d'Argenson]]
*[[Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette]]
*[[Robert Jenkinson, 2nd Earl of Liverpool]]
*[[Robert May, Baron May of Oxford]]
*[[Zine El Abidine Ben Ali]]
*[[Sir William Wyndham, 3rd Baronet]]
*[[Sir William Hamilton, 9th Baronet]]
*[[Juan del Valle y Caviedes]]
*[[J. M. G. Le Clézio]]
*[[Serge Raynaud de la Ferriere]]
*[[Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle]]
*[[Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey]]
*[[Jacobus Henricus van 't Hoff]]
*[[A. P. J. Abdul Kalam]]
*[[Anne-Robert-Jacques Turgot, Baron de Laune]]
*[[William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne]]
*[[Francisco de Sá de Meneses]]
*[[Alfred Milner, 1st Viscount Milner]]
*[[Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned]]
*[[Rainier III, Prince of Monaco]]
*[[Walter James, 4th Baron Northbourne]]
*[[Nayef bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud]]
*[[Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden]]
*[[Richard Bethell, 1st Baron Westbury]]
*[[William Whitelaw, 1st Viscount Whitelaw]]
*[[Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann]]

==Single name==
*[[Anonymous (group)]]
*[[Alexis]]
*[[Alhazen]]
*[[Al-Jazari]]
*[[Al-Maʿarri]]
*[[Al-Muradi]]
*[[Al-Mutanabbi]]
*[[Anacreon]]
*[[Averroes]]
*[[Coluche]]
*[[Columella]]
*[[Croesus]]
*[[Dhyanchand]]
*[[Diphilus]]
*[[FM-2030]]
*[[Jayalalithaa]]
*[[Lactantius]]
*[[Laika]]
*[[Madhvacharya]]
*[[Mahāprajña]]
*[[Manowar]]
*[[Markiplier]]
*[[Milarepa]]
*[[Mistinguett]]
*[[Montesquieu]]
*[[Nanak]]
*[[Panchatantra]]
*[[Pāṇini]]
*[[Pelagius]]
*[[Premchand]]
*[[Pricasso]]
*[[Propertius]]
*[[Rajinikanth]]
*[[Rāmabhadrācārya]]
*[[Ramanuja]]
*[[Rekha]]
*[[Sarvajna]]
*[[Seth]]
*[[Shivaji]]
*[[Sirshree]]
*[[Tintoretto]]
*[[Tulsidas]]
*[[Tyagaraja]]</text>
      <sha1>h57wxextebseqq4ieeztlq7wldqf8pk</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154824</id>
      <parentid>3154821</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:41:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* S */ one out</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21058" xml:space="preserve">{{People by name}}
==First/last name==
===M===
*[[Lionel Messi|Messi, Lionel]]
*[[Olivier Messiaen|Messiaen, Olivier]]
*[[Ioannis Metaxas|Metaxas, Ioannis]]
*[[Gustav Metzger|Metzger, Gustav]]
*[[Jean Metzinger|Metzinger, Jean]]
*[[Jason Mewes|Mewes, Jason]]
*[[Philipp Meyer|Meyer, Philipp]]
*[[Alice Meynell|Meynell, Alice]]
*[[François Mignet|Mignet, François]]
*[[Miguna Miguna|Miguna, Miguna]]
*[[John Milbank|Milbank, John]]
*[[Mordehai Milgrom|Milgrom, Mordehai]]
*[[Darius Milhaud|Milhaud, Darius]]
*[[Merton Miller|Miller, Merton]]
*[[Dan Millman|Millman, Dan]]
*[[James Mirrlees|Mirrlees, James]]
*[[Sania Mirza|Mirza, Sania]]
*[[Maximilien Misson|Misson, Maximilien]]
*[[Maia Mitchell|Mitchell, Maia]]
*[[Leonard Mlodinow|Mlodinow, Leonard]]
*[[Narendra Modi|Modi, Narendra]]
*[[Patrick Modiano|Modiano, Patrick]]
*[[Franco Modigliani|Modigliani, Franco]]
*[[Helena Modjeska|Modjeska, Helena]]
*[[Donald Moggridge|Moggridge, Donald]]
*[[Federica Mogherini|Mogherini, Federica]]
*[[Jacques Monod|Monod, Jacques]]
*[[Bill Monroe|Monroe, Bill]]
*[[Jack Monroe|Monroe, Jack]]
*[[Pierre Monteux|Monteux, Pierre]]
*[[Jean-Étienne Montucla|Montucla, Jean-Étienne]]
*[[Mohammad Mosaddegh|Mosaddegh, Mohammad]]
*[[Dambisa Moyo|Moyo, Dambisa]]
*[[Yok Mu-ming|Mu-ming, Yok]]
*[[Alice Munro|Munro, Alice]]

===S===
*[[Sohrab Sepehri|Sepehri, Sohrab]]
*[[Georges Seurat|Seurat, Georges]]
*[[Quintus Sextius|Sextius, Quintus]]
*[[Kapil Sibal|Sibal, Kapil]]
*[[Vincent Siew|Siew, Vincent]]
*[[Paul Signac|Signac, Paul]]
*[[Norodom Sihanouk|Sihanouk, Norodom]]
*[[Georg Simmel|Simmel, Georg]]
*[[Charan Singh|Singh, Charan]]
*[[Karpal Singh|Singh, Karpal]]
*[[Milkha Singh|Singh, Milkha]]
*[[Zail Singh|Singh, Zail]]
*[[Quentin Skinner|Skinner, Quentin]]
*[[Mark Skousen|Skousen, Mark]]
*[[Walter Slezak|Slezak, Walter]]
*[[Peter Sloterdijk|Sloterdijk, Peter]]
*[[Vaclav Smil|Smil, Vaclav]]
*[[Lee Smolin|Smolin, Lee]]
*[[Rob Smyth|Smyth, Rob]]
*[[Vladimir Sofronitsky|Sofronitsky, Vladimir]]
*[[Qasem Soleimani|Soleimani, Qasem]]
*[[Andrew Solomon|Solomon, Andrew]]
*[[Ilya Somin|Somin, Ilya]]
*[[James Soong|Soong, James]]
*[[Didier Sornette|Sornette, Didier]]
*[[Stanisław Sosabowski|Sosabowski, Stanisław]]
*[[Nicholas Sparks|Sparks, Nicholas]]
*[[August Spies|Spies, August]]
*[[Pat Spillane|Spillane, Pat]]
*[[Piero Sraffa|Sraffa, Piero]]
*[[Eric Stanley|Stanley, Eric]]
*[[Brandon Stanton|Stanton, Brandon]]
*[[Diederik Stapel|Stapel, Diederik]]
*[[Philippe Starck|Starck, Philippe]]
*[[Maggie Stiefvater|Stiefvater, Maggie]]
*[[George Stigler|Stigler, George]]
*[[Joseph Stiglitz|Stiglitz, Joseph]]
*[[Alfred Stillé|Stillé, Alfred]]
*[[Jerry Stiller|Stiller, Jerry]]
*[[Dejan Stojanovic|Stojanovic, Dejan]]
*[[Marilyn Stokstad|Stokstad, Marilyn]]
*[[Richard Stone|Stone, Richard]]
*[[Edward Storer|Storer, Edward]]
*[[Tim Storey|Storey, Tim]]
*[[Gordon Strachan|Strachan, Gordon]]
*[[Meryl Streep|Streep, Meryl]]
*[[Burnett Streeter|Streeter, Burnett]]
*[[Gustav Stresemann|Stresemann, Gustav]]
*[[Joseph Strutt|Strutt, Joseph]]
*[[Marita Sturken|Sturken, Marita]]
*[[Prabowo Subianto|Subianto, Prabowo]]
*[[John Summerson|Summerson, John]]
*[[Ts'ao Sung|Sung, Ts'ao]]
*[[Henry Suso|Suso, Henry]]
*[[Graham Sutton|Sutton, Graham]]
*[[Subramanian Swamy|Swamy, Subramanian]]
*[[Paul Sweezy|Sweezy, Paul]]
*[[John Swinton|Swinton, John]]
*[[Eric Sykes|Sykes, Eric]]
*[[Ronald Syme|Syme, Ronald]]
*[[Michael Szenberg|Szenberg, Michael]]

===T-V===
*[[Violet Trefusis|Trefusis, Violet]]
*[[Lila Tretikov|Tretikov, Lila]]
*[[Julian Trevelyan|Trevelyan, Julian]]
*[[Eric Trist|Trist, Eric]]
*[[Jonathan Tropper|Tropper, Jonathan]]
*[[Leah Tsemel|Tsemel, Leah]]
*[[Su Tseng-chang|Tseng-chang, Su]]
*[[Konstantin Tsiolkovsky|Tsiolkovsky, Konstantin]]
*[[Alexis Tsipras|Tsipras, Alexis]]
*[[Rati Tsiteladze|Tsiteladze, Rati]]
*[[Khem Veasna|Veasna, Khem]]
*[[Sándor Végh|Végh, Sándor]]
*[[R. Venkataraman|Venkataraman, R.]]
*[[Johannes Vermeer|Vermeer, Johannes]]
*[[Enrique Vila-Matas|Vila-Matas, Enrique]]
*[[Victor Villaseñor|Villaseñor, Victor]]
*[[Martin Villeneuve|Villeneuve, Martin]]
*[[Samuel Vince|Vince, Samuel]]
*[[Gene Vincent|Vincent, Gene]]
*[[Bill Viola|Viola, Bill]]
*[[Judith Viorst|Viorst, Judith]]
*[[Tejinder Virdee|Virdee, Tejinder]]
*[[Maurizio Viroli|Viroli, Maurizio]]
*[[Shawna Vogel|Vogel, Shawna]]
*[[Paul Volcker|Volcker, Paul]]
*[[Wolf Vostell|Vostell, Wolf]]
*[[Tom Vu|Vu, Tom]]

===W-Y===
*[[Margaret Wheatley|Wheatley, Margaret]]
*[[Charles Wheelan|Wheelan, Charles]]
*[[Stuart Wheeler|Wheeler, Stuart]]
*[[Mary Whitehouse|Whitehouse, Mary]]
*[[Helmin Wiels|Wiels, Helmin]]
*[[Eugene Wigner|Wigner, Eugene]]
*[[Tom Wills|Wills, Tom]]
*[[Rebecca Wirfs-Brock|Wirfs-Brock, Rebecca]]
*[[Howard Wise|Wise, Howard]]
*[[Eric Wolf|Wolf, Eric]]
*[[Alan Wolfe|Wolfe, Alan]]
*[[Sheldon Wolin|Wolin, Sheldon]]
*[[Thomas Wolsey|Wolsey, Thomas]]
*[[Jack Woodford|Woodford, Jack]]
*[[Robert Woodhouse|Woodhouse, Robert]]
*[[John Woolman|Woolman, John]]
*[[Lawrence Wright|Wright, Lawrence]]

==Qualified names==
*[[Nick Herbert (physicist)|Herbert, Nick]] (physicist)
*[[Martin Hollis (philosopher)|Hollis, Martin]] (philosopher)
*[[John Hoover (consultant)|Hoover, John]] (consultant)
*[[John Howe (illustrator)|Howe, John]] (illustrator)
*[[Robert Hunter (author)|Hunter, Robert]] (author)
*[[Thomas Hutchinson (governor)|Hutchinson, Thomas]] (governor)
*[[James Hutton (Moravian)|Hutton, James]] (Moravian)
*[[Robert Lloyd (poet)|Lloyd, Robert]] (poet)
*[[George Long (scholar)|Long, George]] (scholar)
*[[James Martin (author)|Martin, James]] (author)
*[[Roy McDonald (politician)|McDonald, Roy]] (politician)
*[[Richard Miles (historian)|Miles, Richard]] (historian)
*[[Alex Miller (writer)|Miller, Alex]] (writer)
*[[John Minton (artist)|Minton, John]] (artist)
*[[Graham Moore (writer)|Moore, Graham]] (writer)
*[[John Pearson (author)|Pearson, John]] (author)
*[[Roger Price (comedy)|Price, Roger]] (comedy)
*[[Walter Raleigh (professor)|Raleigh, Walter]] (professor)
*[[William Robertson (historian)|Robertson, William]] (historian)
*[[Theodore Roszak (scholar)|Roszak, Theodore]] (scholar)
*[[John Taylor (1578–1653)|Taylor, John]] (1578–1653)
*[[Charles Taylor (philosopher)|Taylor, Charles]] (philosopher)
*[[Clive Thompson (journalist)|Thompson, Clive]] (journalist)
*[[Andrew Thomson (Broughton)|Thomson, Andrew]] (Broughton)
*[[Sheila Walsh (singer)|Walsh, Sheila]] (singer)
*[[Jessamyn West (writer)|West, Jessamyn]] (writer)
*[[Christopher Wood (writer)|Wood, Christopher]] (writer)

==Longer names==
*[[Queen Mathilde of Belgium]]
*[[Reinout Willem van Bemmelen]]
*[[Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai]]
*[[Étienne de La Boétie]]
*[[Charles Alexandre de Calonne]]
*[[Étienne Bonnot de Condillac]]
*[[Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall]]
*[[Javier Pérez de Cuéllar]]
*[[Princess Marie of Denmark]]
*[[Christian Heinrich von Dillmann]]
*[[Ernst, Baron von Feuchtersleben]]
*[[Henry IV of France]]
*[[James Whitbread Lee Glaisher]]
*[[H. D. Deve Gowda]]
*[[Francesc Ferrer i Guàrdia]]
*[[N. G. L. Hammond]]
*[[Emperor Gaozu of Han]]
*[[Krishna Raja Wadiyar IV]]
*[[B. K. S. Iyengar]]
*[[Francis Jeffrey, Lord Jeffrey]]
*[[Alfred D. Chandler, Jr.]]
*[[Richard Henry Dana, Jr.]]
*[[Ronald J. Garan, Jr.]]
*[[William Frederick Halsey, Jr.]]
*[[John Forbes Nash, Jr.]]
*[[Edgar A. Singer, Jr.]]
*[[Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair]]
*[[F. W. de Klerk]]
*[[V. V. S. Laxman]]
*[[Alphonsus Maria de Liguori]]
*[[Pierre Charles Alexandre Louis]]
*[[Hugh Macmillan, Baron Macmillan]]
*[[Henry James Sumner Maine]]
*[[Musa I of Mali]]
*[[J. M. E. McTaggart]]
*[[Giovanni Pico della Mirandola]]
*[[Mohammed VI of Morocco]]
*[[N. R. Narayana Murthy]]
*[[E. M. S. Namboodiripad]]
*[[Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands]]
*[[George Jackson (Black Panther)]]
*[[R. W. K. Paterson]]
*[[Juan José Cuadros Pérez]]
*[[Thomas Cooper (U.S. politician)]]
*[[P. V. Narasimha Rao]]
*[[C. N. R. Rao]]
*[[N. T. Rama Rao]]
*[[Jacques-Henri Bernardin de Saint-Pierre]]
*[[Isidro A. T. Savillo]]
*[[Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel]]
*[[Heinrich Christian Friedrich Schumacher]]
*[[Jeffrey Friedman (political scientist)]]
*[[Francis (Frank) Reginald Scott]]
*[[Cora L. V. Scott]]
*[[Robert Skidelsky, Baron Skidelsky]]
*[[Jesús Huerta de Soto]]
*[[Robert D. San Souci]]
*[[Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Sr.]]
*[[Roy R. Grinker, Sr.]]
*[[Edith Summerskill, Baroness Summerskill]]
*[[George Frederick James Temple]]
*[[Calvin Thomas (critical theorist)]]
*[[Stuart Hall (cultural theorist)]]
*[[Jose Cecilio del Valle]]
*[[Uthradom Thirunal Marthanda Varma]]
*[[Swathi Thirunal Rama Varma]]
*[[A. E. van Vogt]]
*[[Prince Harry of Wales]]
*[[Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward]]
*[[Carole Morin]]
*[[Carter G. Woodson]]
*[[John Gardner (British writer)]]
*[[James, son of Zebedee]]
*[[Thomas the Apostle]]
*[[Frank Martinus Arion]]
*[[W. Brian Arthur]]
*[[Timothy Shay Arthur]]
*[[Rukmini Devi Arundale]]
*[[Timothy Garton Ash]]
*[[W. Ross Ashby]]
*[[Adolf von Baeyer]]
*[[Robert T. Bakker]]
*[[Béla H. Bánáthy]]
*[[Weston La Barre]]
*[[Howard S. Becker]]
*[[Philippe of Belgium]]
*[[Eric Temple Bell]]
*[[Paul K. Benedict]]
*[[John G. Bennett]]
*[[Edward V. Berard]]
*[[Peter L. Berger]]
*[[Adolf A. Berle]]
*[[William J. Bernstein]]
*[[Ludwig von Bertalanffy]]
*[[R. P. Blackmur]]
*[[Gian Domenico Borasio]]
*[[Jagadish Chandra Bose]]
*[[P. W. Botha]]
*[[House of Bourbon]]
*[[Carl B. Boyer]]
*[[Jennifer Finney Boylan]]
*[[Claude Fayette Bragdon]]
*[[T. Berry Brazelton]]
*[[Anders Behring Breivik]]
*[[James Herbert Brennan]]
*[[John O. Brennan]]
*[[Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin]]
*[[David S. Broder]]
*[[Denise Scott Brown]]
*[[James M. Buchanan]]
*[[Henry Thomas Buckle]]
*[[Walter F. Buckley]]
*[[Hans von Bülow]]
*[[Tom R. Burns]]
*[[Richard M. Burton]]
*[[Edwin Arthur Burtt]]
*[[Nicholas Murray Butler]]
*[[Basil of Caesarea]]
*[[Giovanni della Casa]]
*[[Herbert N. Casson]]
*[[Philip Ó Ceallaigh]]
*[[William Henry Channing]]
*[[Suniti Kumar Chatterji]]
*[[Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay]]
*[[John S. Chen]]
*[[Richard of Chichester]]
*[[Robert Erskine Childers]]
*[[Clayton M. Christensen]]
*[[C. West Churchman]]
*[[William St Clair]]
*[[I. Bernard Cohen]]
*[[Morris Raphael Cohen]]
*[[William S. Cohen]]
*[[Samuel T. Cohen]]
*[[James H. Cone]]
*[[Edwin Grant Conklin]]
*[[Elias James Corey]]
*[[Uriel da Costa]]
*[[Antoine Augustin Cournot]]
*[[Anne Ross Cousin]]
*[[W. Maxwell Cowan]]
*[[James Gould Cozzens]]
*[[Lee Daniel Crocker]]
*[[Burrill Bernard Crohn]]
*[[Alistair Cameron Crombie]]
*[[Samuel McChord Crothers]]
*[[Nicholas of Cusa]]
*[[Robert A. Dahl]]
*[[Herman E. Daly]]
*[[Ann B. Davis]]
*[[J. Bradford DeLong]]
*[[John Theophilus Desaguliers]]
*[[Gordon R. Dickson]]
*[[Francis X. Diebold]]
*[[Roy E. Disney]]
*[[Stephen A. Douglas]]
*[[Constantinos Apostolou Doxiadis]]
*[[Regina E. Dugan]]
*[[John William Dunne]]
*[[Michael Madhusudan Dutta]]
*[[Abdel Fattah el-Sisi]]
*[[Richard T. Ely]]
*[[Richard F. Ericson]]
*[[George Bird Evans]]
*[[Yaroslav Alexandrovich Evdokimov]]
*[[George Stanley Faber]]
*[[J. Doyne Farmer]]
*[[Charles H. Fernald]]
*[[Henry Burchard Fine]]
*[[Joshua Girling Fitch]]
*[[Robert L. Flood]]
*[[Samuel C. Florman]]
*[[Angela of Foligno]]
*[[Mary Parker Follett]]
*[[James David Forbes]]
*[[Jay Wright Forrester]]
*[[Douglas John Foskett]]
*[[William Trufant Foster]]
*[[Mark S. Fox]]
*[[Lawrence K. Frank]]
*[[George M. Fredrickson]]
*[[R. Edward Freeman]]
*[[Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven]]
*[[Alice T. Friedman]]
*[[Ernest J. Gaines]]
*[[Brian R. Gaines]]
*[[James K. Galbraith]]
*[[Jay R. Galbraith]]
*[[Michael Scott Gallegos]]
*[[Frank Honywill George]]
*[[Dagobert von Gerhardt]]
*[[V. V. Giri]]
*[[Ernst von Glasersfeld]]
*[[Gopal Krishna Gokhale]]
*[[Eliyahu M. Goldratt]]
*[[Cyrus H. Gordon]]
*[[Remy de Gourmont]]
*[[W. S. Graham]]
*[[Clementina Stirling Graham]]
*[[Heber J. Grant]]
*[[Alfred Perceval Graves]]
*[[Mark J. Green]]
*[[Duncan Farquharson Gregory]]
*[[Francis J. Grimké]]
*[[I. K. Gujral]]
*[[D. V. Gundappa]]
*[[Robert Lee Hale]]
*[[Arthur D. Hall]]
*[[Wayne Denis Hall]]
*[[G. Stanley Hall]]
*[[Daniel S. Hamermesh]]
*[[Lars Peter Hansen]]
*[[W. Averell Harriman]]
*[[Seymour E. Harris]]
*[[M. John Harrison]]
*[[David Bentley Hart]]
*[[David G. Haskell]]
*[[John Twelve Hawks]]
*[[Ralph George Hawtrey]]
*[[John L. Heilbron]]
*[[Harold Gould Henderson]]
*[[Yitzhak HaLevi Herzog]]
*[[Julius Erasmus Hilgard]]
*[[Julia Butterfly Hill]]
*[[Paul von Hindenburg]]
*[[Albert O. Hirschman]]
*[[George Frisbie Hoar]]
*[[Leonard Trelawny Hobhouse]]
*[[John A. Hobson]]
*[[E. W. Hobson]]
*[[James Neil Hollingworth]]
*[[Richard A. Horsley]]
*[[Michelle J. Howard]]
*[[E. W. Howe]]
*[[George Holmes Howison]]
*[[Richard Holt Hutton]]
*[[Stephen the Hymnographer]]
*[[Pope Julius II]]
*[[Adlai Stevenson II]]
*[[Ben Witherington III]]
*[[Masti Venkatesha Iyengar]]
*[[Michael A. Jackson]]
*[[Michael C. Jackson]]
*[[Henry M. Jackson]]
*[[Harry V. Jaffa]]
*[[E. L. James]]
*[[Basappa Danappa Jatti]]
*[[K. Pattabhi Jois]]
*[[Mark D. Jordan]]
*[[Hussein of Jordan]]
*[[David Starr Jordan]]
*[[Robert Downey, Jr.]]
*[[Hubert Selby, Jr.]]
*[[Thomas Watson, Jr.]]
*[[Robert L. Kahn]]
*[[Johann de Kalb]]
*[[Rudolf E. Kálmán]]
*[[Karl William Kapp]]
*[[Girish Raghunath Karnad]]
*[[Albert Galloway Keller]]
*[[Edwin W. Kemmerer]]
*[[Brigit of Kildare]]
*[[Jim Yong Kim]]
*[[Charles P. Kindleberger]]
*[[Peter T. King]]
*[[John W. Kingdon]]
*[[Adolph Freiherr Knigge]]
*[[Hermann Friedrich Kohlbrugge]]
*[[S. M. Krishna]]
*[[Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn]]
*[[Eugene M. Kulischer]]
*[[George Trumbull Ladd]]
*[[Paul de Lagarde]]
*[[B. B. Lal]]
*[[K. S. Lal]]
*[[Oskar R. Lange]]
*[[Elizabeth Wormeley Latimer]]
*[[Comte de Lautréamont]]
*[[William Elford Leach]]
*[[Henrietta Swan Leavitt]]
*[[Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin]]
*[[Albert L. Lehninger]]
*[[Kings of Leon]]
*[[Rosanna Eleanor Leprohon]]
*[[Charles Robert Leslie]]
*[[Thomas Charles Lethbridge]]
*[[W. Arthur Lewis]]
*[[Joe E. Lewis]]
*[[Frederick Pei Li]]
*[[Donald H. Liles]]
*[[Charles E. Lindblom]]
*[[Lucy R. Lippard]]
*[[John William Lloyd]]
*[[Fred von Lohmann]]
*[[Edward Norton Lorenz]]
*[[Michael J. Loux]]
*[[John Livingston Lowes]]
*[[L. S. Lowry]]
*[[Henri of Luxembourg]]
*[[Robert Staughton Lynd]]
*[[Robert E. Machol]]
*[[Alan Lindsay Mackay]]
*[[Kenneth D. Mackenzie]]
*[[William H. Macy]]
*[[Prasanta Chandra Mahalanobis]]
*[[R. C. Majumdar]]
*[[François de Malherbe]]
*[[Orison Swett Marden]]
*[[Andrew W. Marshall]]
*[[William Moulton Marston]]
*[[Thomas Lansing Masson]]
*[[George Ballard Mathews]]
*[[Milton S. Mayer]]
*[[William James Mayo]]
*[[Warren S. McCulloch]]
*[[Vonda N. McIntyre]]
*[[William Hardy McNeill]]
*[[Gardiner C. Means]]
*[[Paul E. Meehl]]
*[[Stephen J. Mellor]]
*[[J. Gordon Melton]]
*[[Mihajlo D. Mesarovic]]
*[[Matta El Meskeen]]
*[[Klemens von Metternich]]
*[[Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli]]
*[[Albert A. Michelson]]
*[[James Grier Miller]]
*[[Richard von Mises]]
*[[Gustave de Molinari]]
*[[G. E. Moore]]
*[[Mary Tyler Moore]]
*[[Charles A. Moose]]
*[[Paul Elmer More]]
*[[Robert C. Morgan]]
*[[Lewis H. Morgan]]
*[[George L.K. Morris]]
*[[Henry M. Morris]]
*[[James K. Morrow]]
*[[Usama ibn Munqidh]]
*[[R. K. Narayan]]
*[[S. Nambi Narayanan]]
*[[K. R. Narayanan]]
*[[Fali Sam Nariman]]
*[[George Jean Nathan]]
*[[Samuel of Nehardea]]
*[[A. S. Neill]]
*[[Enrique Peña Nieto]]
*[[Isaac of Nineveh]]
*[[Attar of Nishapur]]
*[[David L. Norton]]
*[[Lama Ole Nydahl]]
*[[Gregory of Nyssa]]
*[[William of Ockham]]
*[[Wendy Doniger O'Flaherty]]
*[[Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu]]
*[[Vladimir de Pachmann]]
*[[Boyd K. Packer]]
*[[Francesco Mario Pagano]]
*[[Mohammad Reza Pahlavi]]
*[[Nam June Paik]]
*[[K. M. Panikkar]]
*[[Francis Wayland Parker]]
*[[J. R. Partington]]
*[[Gregory Scott Paul]]
*[[Joseph Chilton Pearce]]
*[[F. David Peat]]
*[[Marine Le Pen]]
*[[Duarte Pacheco Pereira]]
*[[William Henry Perkin]]
*[[Mai Văn Phấn]]
*[[William Lyon Phelps]]
*[[Arthur Wing Pinero]]
*[[J. F. Powers]]
*[[Francesco Balilla Pratella]]
*[[Hana Maria Pravda]]
*[[George D. Prentice]]
*[[James W. Prescott]]
*[[George R. Price]]
*[[Kuppali Venkatappa Puttappa]]
*[[Muhammad Ilyas Qadri]]
*[[Abd al-Karim Qasim]]
*[[Manuel L. Quezon]]
*[[Arthur W. Radford]]
*[[Henrique Capriles Radonski]]
*[[Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani]]
*[[Zia Haider Rahman]]
*[[A. R. Rahman]]
*[[Lala Lajpat Rai]]
*[[Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh]]
*[[C. V. Raman]]
*[[Frank P. Ramsey]]
*[[Mahadev Govind Ranade]]
*[[Dixy Lee Ray]]
*[[Neelam Sanjiva Reddy]]
*[[Thomas Brackett Reed]]
*[[Robert D. Richardson]]
*[[William C. Roberts]]
*[[Seth Jane Roberts]]
*[[Dennis Holme Robertson]]
*[[Arthur H. Robinson]]
*[[Thomas Romney Robinson]]
*[[Michael Della Rocca]]
*[[John M. Rodgers]]
*[[Carlos P. Romulo]]
*[[Harvey S. Rosen]]
*[[Allen B. Rosenstein]]
*[[Douglas T. Ross]]
*[[Jeanne W. Ross]]
*[[Bidhan Chandra Roy]]
*[[Gaius Musonius Rufus]]
*[[Rousas John Rushdoony]]
*[[Alexei Maxim Russell]]
*[[Charles Taze Russell]]
*[[Jason Scott Sadofsky]]
*[[K. L. Saigal]]
*[[Henri de Saint-Simon]]
*[[J. J. Sakurai]]
*[[Michael J. Sandel]]
*[[Gianni A. Sarcone]]
*[[Thomas J. Sargent]]
*[[Emil von Sauer]]
*[[Elmer Eric Schattschneider]]
*[[Friedrich Wilhelm Schulz]]
*[[Hans von Seeckt]]
*[[Mary Lee Settle]]
*[[Edward A. Shanken]]
*[[Shankar Dayal Sharma]]
*[[William F. Sharpe]]
*[[Lal Bahadur Shastri]]
*[[Billy Joe Shaver]]
*[[Francis Joseph Sherman]]
*[[Richard M. Sherman]]
*[[Robert J. Shiller]]
*[[Krishna Kant Shukla]]
*[[Jón Páll Sigmarsson]]
*[[Leslie Marmon Silko]]
*[[Maryanne Ellison Simmons]]
*[[Herbert A. Simon]]
*[[Henry Calvert Simons]]
*[[George Gaylord Simpson]]
*[[V. P. Singh]]
*[[Chaim Zelig Slonimsky]]
*[[William Henry Smyth]]
*[[Joseph B. Soloveitchik]]
*[[John F. Sowa]]
*[[Walter Raymond Spalding]]
*[[Adrienne von Speyr]]
*[[John Shelby Spong]]
*[[Edgar Bronfman, Sr.]]
*[[Walter Terence Stace]]
*[[Walter P. Stacy]]
*[[Earnest V. Starr]]
*[[Alfredo Di Stéfano]]
*[[Alexander H. Stephens]]
*[[Davor Ivo Stier]]
*[[Andrew Taylor Still]]
*[[Elizabeth Drew Stoddard]]
*[[P. F. Strawson]]
*[[M. S. Subbulakshmi]]
*[[Rose Rosengard Subotnik]]
*[[William Graham Sumner]]
*[[Ganapathy Sachchidananda Swamiji]]
*[[M. S. Swaminathan]]
*[[Gurbachan Singh Talib]]
*[[Frederick Winslow Taylor]]
*[[Dita Von Teese]]
*[[Bal Gangadhar Tilak]]
*[[Jacopone da Todi]]
*[[Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec]]
*[[Thich Nhat Tu]]
*[[Jim B. Tucker]]
*[[Apollonius of Tyana]]
*[[Fritz von Uhde]]
*[[Karl Heinrich Ulrichs]]
*[[Laren Grey Umphlett]]
*[[Stuart A. Umpleby]]
*[[Douglas Den Uyl]]
*[[Atal Bihari Vajpayee]]
*[[Mariano Guadalupe Vallejo]]
*[[Migdia Chinea Varela]]
*[[Eugenio Cruz Vargas]]
*[[Pope Alexander VI]]
*[[Brian Campbell Vickery]]
*[[Jorge Rafael Videla]]
*[[Juan Antonio Villacañas]]
*[[Gregory St. Vincent]]
*[[Hugo De Vries]]
*[[William Grey Walter]]
*[[John Clive Ward]]
*[[Susan M. Watkins]]
*[[Aileen Osborn Webb]]
*[[Thaddus E. Weckowicz]]
*[[Karl E. Weick]]
*[[Sanford I. Weill]]
*[[Joseph N. Welch]]
*[[Richard S. Westfall]]
*[[Burton K. Wheeler]]
*[[Edward Higgins White]]
*[[Benjamin Lee Whorf]]
*[[Dingiri Banda Wijetunga]]
*[[Laura Ingalls Wilder]]
*[[Charles V. Willie]]
*[[James Grant Wilson]]
*[[Orde Charles Wingate]]
*[[Sidney G. Winter]]
*[[Clinton Edgar Woods]]
*[[Francis D. Wormuth]]
*[[Daniel A. Wren]]
*[[R. Lee Wrights]]
*[[Pope Leo XIII]]
*[[Iris Marion Young]]
*[[Robert Maxwell Young]]
*[[Lien Fang Yu]]

==Even longer names==
*[[Sultan bin Salman bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud]]
*[[Marc-René de Voyer de Paulmy d'Argenson]]
*[[Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette]]
*[[Robert Jenkinson, 2nd Earl of Liverpool]]
*[[Robert May, Baron May of Oxford]]
*[[Zine El Abidine Ben Ali]]
*[[Sir William Wyndham, 3rd Baronet]]
*[[Sir William Hamilton, 9th Baronet]]
*[[Juan del Valle y Caviedes]]
*[[J. M. G. Le Clézio]]
*[[Serge Raynaud de la Ferriere]]
*[[Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle]]
*[[Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey]]
*[[Jacobus Henricus van 't Hoff]]
*[[A. P. J. Abdul Kalam]]
*[[Anne-Robert-Jacques Turgot, Baron de Laune]]
*[[William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne]]
*[[Francisco de Sá de Meneses]]
*[[Alfred Milner, 1st Viscount Milner]]
*[[Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned]]
*[[Rainier III, Prince of Monaco]]
*[[Walter James, 4th Baron Northbourne]]
*[[Nayef bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud]]
*[[Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden]]
*[[Richard Bethell, 1st Baron Westbury]]
*[[William Whitelaw, 1st Viscount Whitelaw]]
*[[Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann]]

==Single name==
*[[Anonymous (group)]]
*[[Alexis]]
*[[Alhazen]]
*[[Al-Jazari]]
*[[Al-Maʿarri]]
*[[Al-Muradi]]
*[[Al-Mutanabbi]]
*[[Anacreon]]
*[[Averroes]]
*[[Coluche]]
*[[Columella]]
*[[Croesus]]
*[[Dhyanchand]]
*[[Diphilus]]
*[[FM-2030]]
*[[Jayalalithaa]]
*[[Lactantius]]
*[[Laika]]
*[[Madhvacharya]]
*[[Mahāprajña]]
*[[Manowar]]
*[[Markiplier]]
*[[Milarepa]]
*[[Mistinguett]]
*[[Montesquieu]]
*[[Nanak]]
*[[Panchatantra]]
*[[Pāṇini]]
*[[Pelagius]]
*[[Premchand]]
*[[Pricasso]]
*[[Propertius]]
*[[Rajinikanth]]
*[[Rāmabhadrācārya]]
*[[Ramanuja]]
*[[Rekha]]
*[[Sarvajna]]
*[[Seth]]
*[[Shivaji]]
*[[Sirshree]]
*[[Tintoretto]]
*[[Tulsidas]]
*[[Tyagaraja]]</text>
      <sha1>25ohngh78y1r2o3gt19cly14ryqbp2r</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Total Drama Action</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>104767</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154524</id>
      <parentid>3154523</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T12:08:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.248.210.16</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Alien Resur-eggtion [2.02] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="79677" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:''' [[Total Drama Island|1: ''Island'']] [[Total Drama Action|2: ''Action'']] [[Total Drama World Tour|3: ''World Tour'']] [[Total Drama: Revenge of the Island|4: ''Revenge of the Island'']] [[Total Drama All-Stars and Pahkitew Island|5: ''All-Stars and Pahkitew Island'']] | [[Total Drama|Main]] | '''Spin-offs:''' ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race|The Ridonculous Race]]'' / ''[[Total DramaRama|DramaRama]]''
----
'''''[[w:Total Drama Action|Total Drama Action]]''''' is the second season of Total Drama.

==Episodes==

===Monster Cash [2.01]===
:''[the 14 contestants who we're tied from last season's finale get dropped off at a film lot.]''
:'''Duncan''': Man, I miss the smell of the city.
:''[everyone else got off the bus.]''
:'''Heather''': ''[with her new wig]'' Step off!
:'''Gwen''': You step off!
:''[Both growl at each other, before falling off the bus and Gwen runs into Harold and Harold runs into Leshawna]''
:'''Harold''': Ow! Sorry, Leshawna!
:'''Leshawna''': No harm done! ''[the bus drove away]'' Where is everybody?
:'''Gwen''': Uh. Maybe we got off at the wrong stop.
:'''Justin''': That broken-down bus only had one stop.
:'''Heather''': I'm not hanging around here.
:'''Leshawna''': You're gonna give up the chance at a Million Big-Ones. That's a lot of hair-weaves.
:'''Heather''': Guess I can stay for a bit.
:'''Beth''': Face it. The money's the reason we all put up with Chris.
:'''Trent''': Beth, you got your braces off. Nice!
:'''Justin''': Hot as ever.
:'''Leshawna''': ''[pulled Justin away from Beth]'' You look Fi-I-I-ne, girl!
:'''Gwen''': You really do!
:'''Lindsay''': You're totally on your way to looking the part of my new BFF! That's my new best French friend. I'm so moving to France when I win.
:'''Beth''': My mom said my world would totally open up when I got my braces off! She was right! I'M going to France!
:'''Lindsay and Beth''': Yay!
:''[suddenly, Chris drives up in a cart.]''
:'''Duncan''': Dude! It's about time!
:'''Chris''': Hop on, Everyone! C'mon, people! Sheesh! We haven't got all day! This cart's rented by the hour!
:'''Owen''': Izzy! Run! ''[Izzy whistles]'' I mean, Kaleidoscope.
:'''E-Scope''': No one leaves E-Scope behind! ''[Tarzan yell]''

{{line}}
:''[Owen eats all the food on the table and mumbles after he finishes all of it. Chris comes up to Owen, after watching him eat everything in the craft services tent]''
:'''Chris''': Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?
:'''Owen''': The turkey was a bit-- ''[burps]'' --dry.
:'''Chris''': Not surprising, since the food was fake.
:'''Owen''': Fake?
:'''Chris''': Yep! Just props made from foamcore, silicone, sawdust and wax. It wasn't a speed eating contest. It was a contest to find the key.
:'''Owen''': What key? ''[burps out a key]'' Oh! You mean this key?
:'''Chris''': That'd be the one.
:'''Owen''': Does this mean I win?
:'''Chris''': Yes. Yes, it does.
:'''Owen''': Alright!
:'''Duncan''': ''[confessional, laughing]'' Did you see that? The dude ate foam core and wax! Full props for that, man.
:'''Geoff''': ''[confessional]'' Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was just some party dude, but he's really a stand-up guy. Party on!
:'''Harold''': ''[confessional]'' I could've done that, you know. I just wasn't hungry.
:'''Owen''': ''[confessional]'' Oh, wait, wait, wait. There's still one more. ''[burps]''
:'''LeShawna''': ''[confessional]'' Know what that boy has? Guts, guts full of foam core and rubber, but guts just the same.

===Alien Resur-eggtion [2.02]===

:'''E-Scope''': Hey! Follow me! I know aliens. Uh-Huh! I’ve been abducted loads of times. There’s a tracking device in my neck. See.
:'''Harold''': Does it hurt?
:'''E-Scope''': Only when I hiccup. ''[hiccups, but, feels a shock]'' Oww!
:''[Just then, LeShawna feels a cool breeze]''
:'''LeShawna''': ''[shivers]'' Can you feel that? It’s like, there’s something in there cold as ice, with no soul.
:'''Chris''': Thanks! ''[laughs]'' Now, take that! ''[presses a button, which causes a blast of cold smoke to come out. Everyone screamed and in all the chaos, Harold jumps onto LeShawna’s arms, much to the latter’s annoyance.]''

{{line}}
:'''Beth''': ''[confessional, with Lindsay]'' Even though Heather can be really mean, that doesn’t mean we should be mean back, right? Buddha says, you can lead a sheep to water, but, you can’t make it nice.
:'''Lindsay''': That is so deep!

{{line}}
:'''Owen''': ''[hears his stomach growl]'' It’s time! Take me out! I beg you! It’s an emergency.
:''[Chef shoots Owen with the paintball gun]''
:'''Owen''': Oh. Thank you! Oh. Thank you! ''[shakes Chef’s hand and runs off, but, farts on his way]'' Make way! Coming through!
:''[Owen farts on Bridgette and Geoff, causing them to stop making out and get gross out.]''
:'''Owen''': ''[confessional]'' Aww, man! I didn’t think I was gonna make it. Haha! But, these bowels never let me down. Great job, guys! ''[farts]'' Oh. I think there’s more. Coming through! ''[runs off]''

{{line}}
:'''Chef''': ''[chasing Heather]'' This is for last season when you put laxatives in my brownies! The only thing that should give people the runs is my under-cooked meat! ''[shoots Heather with the paintball gun and her wig falls off]''
:'''Heather''': My wig! ''[She jumps to grab it but it was too late]'' No! Don't look at me! ''[Confessional]'' Ever since my head was shaved last season, my hair is growing in all patchy and uneven. I have tried everything. Lotions, lasers, traditional Burmese medicine, ''[she sips from her cup but ends up spitting out the medicine in disgust and throws the cup to the side]'' Loser shamin'!

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': And the Gilded Chris goes to Trent, Gwen, Harold, Duncan and Izzy.
:'''E-Scope''': E-scope!
:'''Chris''': Fine! E-Scope! Lindsay, Justin and Beth are also safe!
:'''Both''': ''[Hugs Justin]'' Yay!
:'''Chris''': And so is Owen, my man!
:'''Owen''': Aww. Thanks, Chris! And thanks Chef! For doing what the prunes couldn't!
:'''Chris''': Next is DJ, surprisingly Heather and last but not least... ''[Bridgette, Geoff and LeShawna are the bottom three]'' LeShawna!
:'''LeShawna''': Whoo-Hoo! ''[Hugs Bridgette and Geoff]'' Oops! My bad!
:''[Geoff and Bridgette had their first elimination that consisted of a double elimination, in which the two castmates with the highest number of votes would be eliminated.]''
:'''Bridgette''': But, But. I thought everyone liked us.
:'''Duncan''': Liked being the operative word. ''[Confessional]'' I know exactly who's going to get it this week! ''[mimics Bridgette and Geoff kissing]''
:'''Lindsay''': ''[Confessional]'' Two words! Bridgette and Geoff!
:'''DJ''': ''[Confessional]'' Least they'll have each other!
:'''Chris''': Any final words?
:''[Bridgette and Geoff continue to make out, much to some of the contestants' disgust, and they continue to make out as they head for the Lame-O-Sine]''

{{line}}
:''[Exclusive clip: Geoff and Bridgette are at the Lame-o-sine after their elimination]''
:'''Geoff''': Who gets kicked off a show for making out anyway?
:'''Bridgette''': It's not like we weren't serious about the game. We so-so we're weren't we?
:'''Geoff''': Yeah. Well, money isn't everything.
:'''Bridgette''': Says who?
:'''Geoff''': Money doesn't bring happiness.
:'''Bridgette''': Really. What does?
:'''Geoff''': My mom's mac and cheese?
:'''Bridgette''': That ridiculous!
:'''Geoff''': You're ridiculous!
:'''Bridgette''': I can't believe I blew a million bucks for you!
:'''Geoff''': Oh, worth, woo. ''[Bridgette gasps as she and Geoff start to kiss]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Bridgette''': I'm sorry.
:'''Geoff''': I love you.

===Riot on Set [2.03]===
:''[Gwen and Trent begin choosing their teammates for their teams]'' 
:'''Chris''': Okay, let’s get this bloodbath started. You’re gonna choose schoolyard style. Boy, girl, boy, girl. Ladies first. Since we have no ladies here, Gwen.
:'''Gwen''': ''[sighs]'' I dunno. Duncan?
:'''Trent''': ''[gasps; Confessional]'' I can’t believe she just went ahead and chose Duncan! I mean, they’re kind of alike. And now she wants to be on the same team? What am I supposed to make of that? You think you know a person! I choose the beautiful Lindsay!
:'''Lindsay''': Yay!
:'''Gwen''': ''[confessional]'' “The beautiful”? What, was Trent trying to tick me off by picking Lindsay like that? You think you know a person. ''[End confessional]'' Because I like to keep things cool, I pick Leshawna.
:'''Leshawna''': The girls are back in town!
:'''Lindsay''': ''[gasps]'' You know what would be so great? If you picked Tyler!
:'''Trent''': Tyler’s not in the game anymore.
:'''Lindsay''': ''[disappointed]'' Seriously? Bummer.
:'''Trent''': I choose Justin.
:'''Gwen''': Oh. Pick all the good looking contestants. That’ll get you far.
:'''Trent''': It will in show biz.
:'''Gwen''': ''[growls]'' DJ.
:'''Trent''': Beth.
:'''Leshawna''': Remember, keep your enemies closer.
:'''Gwen''': No. Really? You don’t mean... Fine. We choose Heather.
:'''Heather''': Really? ''[Confessional]'' It’s about time someone realized who’s the most valuable player here. I mean, seriously, people.
:'''Trent''': ''[Confessional]'' How do you choose between flakier and flakiest? At least Owen got farther in the last game, that’s worth something. Dude, I don’t know. I had to pick someone. I choose Owen.
:'''Owen''': Woohoo! ''[high fives Trent]''
:'''Harold''': Uh, hello? Don’t wicked skills count for anything? I mean, who else here went to film camp and is fully trained as a junior cinematographer with a thorough knowledge of lighting filters, film stop–
:'''Gwen''': I pick Harold. If for no other reason but to shut him up.
:'''Harold''': Wise choice.
:'''Gwen''': There were no other guys left.
:'''Harold''': Still.
:'''Trent''': Um, I guess Izzy is on my team then. Izzy?
:''[E-Scope ignores and whistles]''
:'''Lindsay''': She likes to be called Kaleidoscope.
:'''Trent''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, right. E-Scope?
:'''E-Scope (Izzy)''': Here! Hi!
:'''Chris''': Gwen, I christen your team, The Screaming Gaffers. Trent, you’re the Killer Grips.
:'''Beth''': Grip? I-I don’t wanna be a grip.
:'''Heather''': Please. It’s not like being called a gaffer is something to brag about. It sounds like something that has rabies.

{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': I'm a reincarnation of my great-grandma Mavis.

{{line}}
:''[E-Scope got eliminated because she lost the acting challenge for her team.]''
:'''Chris''': ...Izzy! Time to go.
:'''E-Scope''': I'm not going anywhere. That's not my name.
:'''Chris''': Can I get a pen, over here? ''[is given a pen and writes on the results]'' It says &quot;E-Scope, now, okay? ''[E-Scope nods]'' Yo, guys, wanna make sure we keep this ballot in the files as an official record of Kaleidoscope's departure? I'll notarize it. Foresight, that's why they pay me the big bucks!

{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after her elimination]'' Woo! I feel so alive! I'm the Izzy E-Scope! I can kick backsides on reality programs! I can tie my ankles together and do back flips down an up escalator! Wanna see! ''[camera nods]'' Well then, we will have to go someplace with a up escalator, won't we? Yes, when Hollywood starts calling, E-Scope will have a lot a things on the special skills portion of her resume! ''[goes down the the floor of the car]'' I just made myself invisible! Can we stop for banana milkshakes and cheese? Oh, oh, oh, oh! Let's go some place with an up escalator! Do you know what I mean!? Woo!

===Beach Blanket Bogus [2.04]===
:'''Lindsay''': ''[freezing]'' When did you guys move the beach to Antarctica?
:'''Chris''': ''[wearing winter clothing]'' As some of you can see, we're actually in the shooting studio.
:'''Duncan''': ''[freezing]'' And the AC's cranked because...?
:'''Chris''': All the cameras and lights get so hot, they can melt Chef's heart. ''[Chef smiles and waves]'' And the network told my agent sweaty isn't a good look for me. Your first challenge: hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup.
:'''Leshawna''': ''[aggravated]'' What did you just ask me to do?
:'''Trent''': He means whoever stays on the surfboard the longest wins.

{{line}}
:'''Harold''': The only lady fan I actually have is my mom.

{{line}}
:'''Lindsay''': Yay! Go Justin!
:'''Beth''': Yeah! Go!
:'''Lindsay''': Copycat.
:'''Beth''': Tan-orexic. ''[gasps in horror at what she said]'' Sorry! Friendship bracelet?
:'''Chris''': ''[staring at Justin posing on the surfboard]'' So... perfect... Almost makes me believe in the inherent goodness of the human race... ''[loads seagull firing gun]'' Almost.
:'''Beth''': ''[as Chris loads the seagull gun]'' Justin! ''[in confessional]'' I wanted to tell him he looked like a surfing god. Instead, I said... ''[the camera cuts back to Beth at the challenge]'' Your face! Watch your beautiful face!

===3:10 to Crazytown [2.05]===
:''[Heather continues climbing with LeShawna following behind.]''
:'''LeShawna''': At least I have hair!
:'''Heather''': Your afro is so big, it has it own gravity!
:'''LeShawna''': Oh. I'll give you gravity! ''[pushes Heather off the board, but, holds on to LeShawna and the two girls fall]''
:'''Gwen''': Where'd they go?
:'''Chris''': Not there! Way up there!
:''[Heather and LeShawna are hanging by a weather vane]'' 

{{line}}
:''[Trent got eliminated because Justin heard that he was throwing challenges for Gwen and told Gwen that she owed them. Gwen then requested the team to vote him off]''
:'''Trent''': ''[after he got eliminated]'' What? This has to be a mistake!
:'''Chris''': Trent, it’s time to go.
:'''Trent''': But I can’t leave without saying goodbye to Gwen!
:'''Chris''': Yo, Chef? A little help here?
:'''Trent''': ''[gets carried by Chef]'' Gwen! ''[gets dropped off the limo]''
:'''Chris''': 3:10 to Crazytown. Trent is now aboard.
:'''Gwen''': Did you call me in here just to make me feel bad?
:'''Chris''': Yes, yes we did.
:'''Gwen''': Well it worked.
:'''Chris''': My work here is done.

{{line}}
:'''Trent''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after his elimination]'' So, it really stinks that I gotta go. I thought, this season, I'd go all the way, with Gwen. Things with Gwen and I were great. You know that sweet spot on the sofa? The one you spent years carving? That's how Gwen felt to me. Things got a little nuts. Okay, I got nuts. Liking Gwen made me crazy. Crazy enough to lose a million bucks. I guess the Grips are better off without me. UH! ''[bangs his head against the wall]'' Think my forehead needs a bit of time to heal.

===Aftermath I [2.06]===
:'''Bridgette''': Trent was such a stand-up guy. He did not deserve what happened, right?
:'''Sadie''': Oh, totally not.
:'''Bridgette''': And all because of Gwen.
:'''Geoff''': Whoa, back up, Bridge. Couples break up; it wasn't Gwen's fault.
:'''Bridgette''': Trent lost out on a million bucks because of Gwen.
:'''Geoff''': So, Gwen went behind Trent's back and told his team to vote him off, that doesn't mean...''[hears the audience gasp in shock]'' Whoa, what?
:'''Trent''': ''[backstage, having just heard what Geoff said]'' Awww man, what?! Are you kidding? Gwen did what?! This is a joke, right?
:'''Geoff''': Whoa... did someone not tell the dude?

{{line}}
:'''Sadie''': Trent is nuttier than my sister's peanut allergies. Hi, sister Cindy.

{{line}}
:'''Trent''': My grandpa gave me a toy train with ten wheels as a gift. One of the wheels fell off leaving only nine wheels on my train. My grandpa died. My mom was the one that told me that nine was my lucky number.

{{line}}
:'''Geoff''': Trent isn't innocent in this. What about the time he kissed Heather? Gwen was totally wrecked. Remember?
:'''Sadie''': ''[gasps]'' I remember! Trent totally cheated on Gwen, first season.
:'''Bridgette''': That was Heather's fault. She tricked Trent into kissing her.
:'''Geoff''': A dude hardly needs to be tricked into kissing the hottest chick on the show. ''[the audience, Izzy, Katie, Sadie, and Bridgette gasp at what Geoff said]'' What?
:'''Bridgette''': I cannot believe you just said Heather was the hottest girl on the show!

===The Chefshank Redemption [2.07]===
:''[Izzy emerges from the soil and returns to the game]''
:'''Screaming Gaffers''': Kaleidoscope?!
:'''Izzy''': Yip! Yip! Yip!
:'''Duncan''': Yep, I'd say that's her.
:'''Izzy''': Yep! I've been living underground amongst the prairie dogs. ''[an angry prairie dog emerges from her hair, growling]'' Aw, Butchie, it's okay. These are my friends.

{{line}}
:'''Beth''': My dad would have been very angry at me when I have lost it.

{{line}}
:'''Gwen''': My brother puked on me in the tilt-a-whirl.

{{line}}
:''[Gwen got eliminated because she threw the challenge and voted herself off in order to repay the Killer Grips for when Trent was throwing challenges for her]''
:'''Chris''': Time's up! I'll tell you the votes! Duncan, Leshawna, DJ, and Harold. Another award and one day to compete. Tonight's final Gilded Chris and another chance at the million goes to... Heather!
:'''Heather''': ''[to Gwen]'' Sorry, Gwen, you're not the winner. You lost, so you're a loser. It's just logic!
:'''Leshawna''': ''[in confessional]'' Voting for Gwen? Yeah, that hurt. I'm not saying Heather was right, but something must have gone on for Gwen, smacking Harold upside his sweet, little head like that. Girl wasn't right, and when you're not right, YOU'RE WRONG.
:'''Harold''': ''[in confessional]'' Thing is, if Gwen had stayed in the game; according to prison rules, I'd either have to break a shovel over her head or fall in love with her. Obviously, neither option was feasible.
:'''Heather''': ''[in confessional]'' My vote plus Leshawna and Harold's equals the greatest day of my life. Bye bye, Gwenny!
:''[Chef puts handcuffs on Gwen]''
:'''Chef''': Dead girl walking!
:'''Duncan''': Leave her, take me!
:'''Chef''': Sure, whatever. ''[Chef takes handcuffs off Gwen]''
:'''Duncan''': What? Wait, wait! Okay, I didn't actually mean...
:'''Gwen''': ''[takes handcuffs out of Chef's hands]'' Nice try, Duncan. You're not getting off that easy. Good luck, eh? ''[in confessional]'' Definition of lousy: being a stickler for your word and having to vote yourself off. ''[looks and points upwards]'' Whoever's in charge of karma, I hope that counts for something!

{{line}}
:'''Gwen''': ''[in the Lame-o-sine after her elimination]'' Guess I'm not going to get my necklace back from Trent. Oh, well. Guess that's karma for you. ''[sighs]'' I'm so relieved that this whole thing is all over! Is that... Trent!? Hurry up, driver! Can we please shut this off now? Aftershow? There's an aftershow!? Oh, you've got to be kidding! ''[tries to open the door]'' Let me out of here!

===One Flu Over the Cuckoos [2.08]===
:'''Owen''': Hey! You know what my brothers and me did once? We had a no hands pizza off! ''[laughs]'' You should've been there!
:'''Izzy''': Let's pretend I was... here!
:''[Izzy jumps off her chair, gets on her hands and knees, and begins tearing into one of the pizzas]''
:'''Owen''': You're magnificent.
:''[Izzy eats pizza with no hands and goes overboard]''
:'''Lindsay''': My hair!
:'''Justin''': My pecs!
:'''Owen''': My pizza!

{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': ''[confessional]'' I am so glad to be back! I was top of my pre-med class before the RCMP started chasing me, so this should be a snap! And Owen is just the sweetest thing ever! If he were a candy bar, he'd taste just like caramel covered marshmallows.
:'''Owen''': ''[confessional]'' It's so sweet to have Izzy back! It's like Christmas, but with pizza! ''[laughs]'' It's Pizz-mas!

{{line}}
:'''Harold''': Mother, is that you?

{{line}}
:'''Heather''': I leave all my belongings to my mom in a written will and have the option of spending time away with me have I been chosen to accept the prize.

{{line}}
:'''Heather''': I call my brothers and sisters lazy slackers.

{{line}}
:'''Duncan''': This pie is rad! Who knew Chef could rock the za!?
:'''Harold''': Aren't you having any, Leshawna? ''[Leshawna looks up from her reading]''
:'''Leshawna''': ''[confessional]'' I love pizza, but me and dairy do not agree, and, brother, you do not wanna be around for that.
:'''Duncan''': Well, ''[grabs another slice]'' no pizza for Leshawna, means more for the rest of us.
:'''Harold''': Hey, slow down, DJ hasn't had any.
:'''Heather''': Where is DJ?
:'''DJ''': ''[sneaks into the mess hall from the kitchen after making the pizzas]'' I've been here the whole time, obviously. Now, hand me some pie. ''[Duncan throws a slice to him, he holds under his breath after tasting it]'' Man, I am good.
:'''Leshawna''': Hmph. Well, I'm not gonna just sit around and watch y'all eat. Tomorrow's a Reward Challenge. No need to bust our humps when no one's getting kicked off.
:'''Duncan''': ''[puts down book]'' Lady has a point. I'm out.
:'''Heather''': ''[in confessional]'' I could have forced them to stay, but it's not like they'll help us win. I mean, medical terms? Please. Those two would only come in handy if the challenge is about piercings or plus-size shopping.
:''[Duncan and Leshawna are talking outside the mess hall]''
:'''Leshawna''': Now that Gwen's gone, we gotta watch our backs around Heather. I was thinking, what if you, me, and Harold form an alliance?
:'''Duncan''': ''[laughs]'' What, you, and me, and Harold!? In an alliance!? ''[laughs uncontrollably]''
:'''Leshawna''': I'm serious!
:'''Duncan''': ''[walks away]'' Yeah, yeah, whatever.

===The Sand Witch Project [2.09]===
:'''LeShawna''': Since when does Chef interfere in challenges? Smells kinda funny to me. 
:'''Harold''': Oh, that's me. Sorry. I was saving them for later. 
:'''Justin''': You guys gotta let me be the killer! The mask offers good protection for my beautiful face! 
:'''Izzy''': Okay, I am such the better scarier. My own dog is terrified of me, okay? 
:'''Owen''': But you're cute as a bug in a rug! 
:'''Lindsay''': Hey, you guys? Um, Beth? 
:'''Justin''': Later, Lindsay. I wanna be the killer, okay? And that's it. 
:'''Izzy''': But look at my scary face! ''[babbles]'' 
:'''Owen''': D'aw, that's not scary, that's adorable. 
:''[Izzy growls]''
:'''Owen''': This is a scary face. 
:'''Lindsay''': Beth is going to be our serial killer and that is that! Beth's a non-screamer. We have to have her as the killer or we're going down! 

{{line}}
:'''Duncan''': ''[to the Screaming Gaffers]'' Me and my brothers would cover ourselves in fake blood and try to scare kindergarteners on Halloween, even causing up to a dozen five-year-olds to have seizures.

{{line}}
:'''Lindsay''': When me and my sisters choose where to go shopping I'm always the third vote.

{{line}}
:''[The Killer Grips are at the ceremony after they lost the challenge]''
:'''Chris''': And now, fraidy-cat Grips, it's time to announce who will not win a Gilded Chris this week! Who deserves to go home bitterly disappointed, tears in their eyes? ''[Chef, with a glare, gave Chris a slip of paper]'' And the Gilded Chrises go to Izzy, Beth, Owen. Still on the chopping block, Lindsay and Justin.
:'''Lindsay''': What? I can't be going. Why would people be mad at me? Beth?
:'''Beth''': You were a little… bossy.
:'''Lindsay''': Hello! It’s called leadership.
:'''Chris''': And the final Gilded Chris goes to…
:''[Lindsay was about to be voted off, but DJ announced that he was quitting the game out of guilt for the secret alliance he had with Chef Hatchet]''
:'''DJ''': STOP! I'm gonna do what I've should've done long ago. Make mama proud. I'm voting myself off.
:'''Chef''': DJ! ''[laughs sheepishly]'' Why don't you and I have a chat before you do anything stupid!
:'''DJ''': No, Chef! I'm not listening to you anymore! Chef and me, we had an illegal alliance. ''[Everyone gasps upon hearing this]'' He's been tutoring me and tuff, coaching me through the challenges. I'll miss you all!
:'''Owen''': Wait. Wait. Wait. You've been cooking all the delicious food. The pizza, the cheesecake, the sandwiches.
:'''Duncan''': Dude! You can't leave!
:'''Justin''': ''[The Killer Grips walk onstage]'' Yeah! Can't we just vote Chef off instead?
:'''DJ''': Sorry, buddy! Gotta make it right for mama!
:'''All''': Aww…

{{line}}
:'''DJ''': ''[inside the Lame-o-sine after quitting the game]'' Wednesday, momma and I are going to the petting zoo. She likes the ducks because they have honest faces. I like the bunnies because they don't lie. I hope she isn't as mad at me in real life as she was in my dream. I did the right thing in the end. Isn't that what matters? So I lost out on a million bucks, but I still have my integrity. Well, with everyone who didn't watch the show, I guess. As for the people who did watch the show, maybe I can bake them my famous cinnamon buns.

===The Sand Witch Project ''(Ft. Gumball, Anais, Mac, Bloo, Cartman, Stan, Panty, Stocking, Mordecai, Junior, Cody, 1Smash18)'' [2.09.5]===
{{line}}
:'''Justin''': You guys gotta let me be the killer! The mask offers good protection for my beautiful face!
:'''Anais''': ''[Correctly Impressed]'' I guess that could be okay.
:'''Izzy''': ''[Lindsay raised a finger to speak, but Izzy interrupted her]'' Okay, I am such a way better scarcer, My own dog is terrified of me, okay?
:'''Owen''': But you're cute as a bug in a rug! ''[Izzy looks at him in disgusted]''
:'''Gumball''': Dude, little tip: You're only picking Izzy as our serial killer for stupidity.
:'''Bloo''': ''[To Gumball]'' Just give it a chance, Just this once?
:'''Mac''': I think I'll have to go with Gumball on this one, Bloo, Sorry.
:'''Lindsay''': Hey, you guys? Um, Beth?
:'''Justin''': Later, Lindsay, I wanna be the killer, okay? And that's it.
:'''Cartman''': No way..
:'''Panty''': ''[To Justin]'' Yeah, and your beautiful face are the size of dinner plates. and fierce, and oh, God, are they sensitive!
:'''Stocking''': Of course girls who freak out over Justin's beautiful face. I say titters because his face is so beautiful, that actually make me laugh.
:'''Panty''': Ah. It's cool. Your tits keep you from looking like a girl. I get it. Then you won't feel like you're hooking up with a pedophile.
:'''Izzy''': ''[To Panty And Stocking]'' But look at my scary face! ''[she made a face, that is more silly than scary]''
:'''Stocking''': ''[To Izzy, And gets it now]'' I do not understand how I can ever be related to you, You're nothing but a crazy, hoe-bagging nutjob!
:'''Panty''': Remember that time when I told you to become a killer? You gotta be the killer with that inner fucking peace!
:'''Owen''': ''[To Izzy]'' D'aw, that's not scary, that's adorable. ''[Izzy turns around, and hisses at him]'' This is a scary face.
:'''Lindsay''': BETH IS GOING TO BE OUR SERIAL KILLER AND THAT IS '''''THAT!'''''
:'''Stan''': ''[Growls Loudly And Then He Violently Begins To Shout At Her]'' '''I DON'T &lt;big&gt;CARE!!!!!&lt;/big&gt; DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN ''&lt;big&gt;PEACE????!!!!!!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;''''' ''[Wrap sound, Stan opens his eyes, only to see everyone on his team are understandably and incredibly pissed off at him for all of the hurtful things he said, proceeding them to beat him up, it became silent, but for the next 10 seconds]'' I'm Dead Aren't I?
:'''Izzy''': '''LET'S GET HIM!!!!'''
:'''Stan''': no..No..NO...'''NO!''' ''[in lighting fast, they aggressively begin to beat him up mercilessly as the screen fades to black]'' '''AAAAGH!!! GET OFF OF ME YOU BUNCH OF MONSTERS!!!!!!'''
:'''Gumball''': So?
:'''Anais''': It looks like your face to face turned into more of a... face to fist...
:'''Gumball''': What the... What?!
:'''Lindsay''': ''[confessional]'' Can I just tell you that fel-
:'''Stan''': ''[Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst]'' '''&lt;big&gt;YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;''' ''[With A lot Of Rage, Stan Violently Throw A Huge Rock At Lindsay, Smashing Her To The Sky, Screaming In The Process, Earthy Crust starts playing]''
:'''Mordecai''': '''OH REALLY STAN!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!?!?!?!?!'''
:'''Stan''': ''[Yells Back At Mordecai]'' '''YEAH REALLY!!!!!!!!'''
:''[Stan's Behavior Got Worse, And As Of A Huge Result, This Challenge Erupted Into A Violent Argument Of Fury, While Gumball And Anais Watches Them In True Horror]''
:'''Mordecai''': '''''YOU'VE KILLED YOUR OWN TEAMMATE YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!'''''
:'''Stan''': '''STOCKING IS GONNA BE THE FUCKING SERIAL KILLER!!!!!! LOOK I DON'T CARE!!!!''' ''[Points at Beth angrily]'' '''''BETH IS STUPID ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[That Was It, It Was At This Moment Where Lindsay's Patience Went Completely Dry]''
:'''Lindsay''': ''[Finally Fed Up With Stan's Rudeness and Jerkass]'' '''&lt;big&gt;AAAARRGHHHHHH!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;''' ''[runs at Stan and pins him hard against studio 9]'' '''&lt;big&gt;BETH IS GOING TO BE THE KILLER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD!!!! SHE IS GOING TO BE OUR SERIAL KILLER, AND IF YOU KEEP BEING SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....&lt;/big&gt;''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;I'LL SMASH YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN!!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Stan''': ''[He Violently Loses It, Talking In Cartman's Voice]'' '''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;FUCK YOU, LINDSAY!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''' ''[releases a furious fist, knocking Lindsay to the ground]''
:'''Cartman''': '''FIGHT!!!''' ''[Stan begins to bruise her up violently, Mordecai punches Stan in the face, leads them into a full blown fight, everyone gather round to watch, Half of them are cheering them on, the other half stay quiet, Wendy cries and hides her face with her notebook, terrified at Stan's Violent Outburst]''
:'''Cody''': Hoh-Woah, School Fight!
:'''Junior''': Yeah, Stan Marsh! You Beat Her Up, And You Keep ''Fighting Him!'' 
:'''1Smash18''': Oh You Got The Best Of Both Worlds Right There! Except There Attacking Each Other! ''[Eats Some Popcorn]''
:'''Anais''': I guess logic of reason just went down the drain.

{{line}}
:''[The Next Day Before DJ got booted off and Stan being disqualified for his violent outburst, Bloo alongside with Mac are talking to a group of the team Screaming Gaffers: Haorld, Heather, Duncan &amp; Leshawna]''
:'''Bloo''': ...It was completely crazy! Lindsay shouts that Beth would be the killer and that is final, But then ''out'' of nowhere...Stan suddenly snaps and smashed her into the sky with a huge rock and grows increasingly uncooperative into the completion of accepting Beth as a killer and insulting her saying &quot;Beth is stupid anyway!&quot;, so Lindsay begins to ''yell'' at Stan, slams his head into studio 9, and threatens him that she will '''SMASH''' his teeth in if he keeps being such a jerk and Stan just started '''WHALING''' on her, And started to tear her limb from ''limb!''
:'''Leshawna''': Smells kinda funny to me.
:'''Bloo''': ''[Being Serious]'' '''I'm telling you!''' Stan just bruise Lindsay up, and beat the shit out of Mordecai, and then he got disqualified as of a result!
:'''Haorld''': Stan did that? that was very harsh.
:'''Heather''': Are you being serious?
:'''Mac''': He is being serious!
:'''Bloo''': We need to avenge Stan right now! Or else at some point, The Killer Grips might start suspecting something's up!

===Masters of Disasters [2.10]===
:'''Chef''': ''[pulls out giant book]'' Ahhh, my unpublished manifesto. I've lived a lotta years! ''[he hurls the book at Owen nailing him in the mouth]''
:'''Owen''': Ouchie! That'll hurt come morning.
:'''Izzy''': Oh, no! Owen! Are you okay?
:'''Chef''': ''[smugly]'' My editor was right, my life really is dangerous!

{{line}}
:'''Beth''': ''[confessional]'' Did Owen actually break his jaw?! ''[gasps]'' That’s so tragic! Owen lives to eat!
:'''Izzy''': ''[confessional]'' Owen is my buddy! He’s the only one who truly gets me. If something happens to Owen, I’ll be stuck with my imaginary friends. And let’s face it. I should’ve ditched them years ago. ''[hollow knock]'' Yeah, Phil. I’m talking to you!

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': The good news is, it looks like Owen won the challenge for the Killer Grips!
:'''Leshawna''': Oh, no, he didn't!
:'''Harold''': Yeah, we got our whole team across the finish line!
:'''Chris''': Serious injury trumps all!
:'''Heather''': You just make up the rules as you go along, don't you?
:'''Chris''': I love my job!

{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': How's Owen doing?
:'''Chris''': Oh, Owen's fine, a little broken jaw, but it's all wired shut now. Shouldn't take more than 4 - 6 weeks to heal.
:'''Beth''': Oh no! It's that bad?
:'''Chris''': ''[with feigned enthusiasm]'' I mean, he's doing fine.
:''[The Killer Grips glare at him.]''

{{line}}
:'''Justin''': What is that?
:'''Beth''': I really wish my boyfriend was here. He's a registered lifeguard.
:'''Izzy''': Uh-huh. Yeah. It would be great if he were here, you're right. You know what would be better?
:'''Beth''': What?
:'''Izzy''': If he ''existed'' in the first place! Now let's get out of this death trap!

{{line}}
:'''Beth''': Oh no! It's a combination lock!
:'''Izzy''': Sound familiar?
:'''Lindsay''': How are we ever going to open it?
:'''Beth''': Guys, we better get to it quick before the water gets too high!
:'''Justin''': I'll do it.
:'''Lindsay''': No, I wanna do it.
:'''Justin''': Just give it to me. Lindsay. Lindsay. Lindsay.
:'''Lindsay''': Look, I just...But I wanna do it! Come on!
:'''Izzy''': Urgh...
:'''Justin''': So come on, what are the numbers? Read 'em out.
:'''Izzy''': '''Ugh!''' I'm surrounded by loons!
:'''Justin''': Where?
:'''Lindsay''': Oh, I love ducks!

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': Really, it might be time to end the challenge. The water's getting pretty high. And uh, those kids are terrible swimmers.
:'''Chef''': Focus! I want my chips back. I'm starving. ''[crunch]''
:'''Chris''': This is getting serious. Turn off the water! [gasps] We've gotta get the cast out of there! Simple formula! No more contestants equals no more episodes equals no paycheck and the end of my luxurious lifestyle!
:'''Chef''': Texas Hold 'Em?
:'''Chris''': You're not hearing me!
:'''Chef''': What? Gin Rummy?

===Masters of Disasters ''(Ft. Panty and Stocking)'' [2.10.5]===
{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': How’s Owen doing?
:'''Chris''': Oh, Owen’s fine. A little broken jaw, but it’s all wired shut now. Shouldn’t take more than four to six weeks to heal.
:'''Beth''': Oh no! It’s that bad?
:'''Chris''': I mean, he’s doing fine.
:'''Panty''': ''[To Everyone]'' Well, I hope you've all ''learned'' something from all of this.
:'''Lindsay''': Wait, What?!
:'''Panty''': ''[To Izzy]'' If you would of ''climb'' or just told Owen to duck like you were supposed to, NONE of this would of happened! ''[In responses, Izzy punches Panty in the face, and everyone cries out in shock, Stocking and Lindsay hold Izzy back while Beth and Justin hold Panty back]''
:'''Chris''': Izzy, what are you doing?!
:'''Izzy''': What is your problem, Panty?! This has ''nothing'' to do with us losing the challenge! He just won for our team!
:'''Panty''': And look where it got him! ''[points to the Ambulance]'' Your fatass friend over there is just only gonna make us lose again!
:'''Izzy''': ''[laughs harshly]'' Yeah right, taken from the harmless jerk named Panty about friends, since you've got ''so'' many of them!
:'''Panty''': ''[Folds her arms]'' I have friends.
:'''Izzy''': No you don't! Everyone only hangs out with you because you're '''new!''' Owen only won the challenge for us, He doesn't deserve to have a broken jaw because of it!
:'''Brief''': Hey, Panty? How's it going and all that your father here was kind enough to show me the way to your room through his bedroom he is a very affectionate large man.
:'''Garterbelt''': Now, don't forget I am single and look's for some Mingle's Angel.

===Full Metal Drama [2.11]===
:'''Owen''': ''[clenched teeth]'' It’s not about what I’m doing, it’s about what I’m not doing.
:'''Harold''': Pipes a little backed up?
:'''Owen''': ''[clenched teeth]'' Who knew a diet of blended corn beef and cheese puff shakes could stop my whole system? ''[strains]'' C’mon, c’mon! Just a nugget!
:'''Chef''': Make way, coming through!
:'''Owen''': ''[clenched teeth]'' Chef, a little privacy? I’m trying to poop-a-doop here.
:'''Chef''': Doctors orders, I’ve got the cure for your no-can-doo-doo right here. One part fruit, nine parts bran.
:'''Owen''': ''[clenched teeth] That isn’t even food-esque!
:'''Chef''': Don’t push, kid. They’re making me serve you on account of my bad behavior.
:'''Leshawna''': Give it here. I’ve been starving half to death since DJ left! ''[drinks it all]''
:'''Chef''': Girl’s gonna feel that.
:'''Leshawna''': My, my! Who knew liquid bran could be so tasty? ''[burps]'' Even on the return trip.
:'''Owen''': ''[clenched teeth]'' I’d say that my work here is done, but I never even got started.

{{line}}
:''[Izzy got eliminated again because Justin convinced Beth and Lindsay to vote her off, as opposed to him, when she told him that he wasn't that cute.]''
:'''Chris''': This one's a nail-biter. I'd say no one's safe. Lindsay, how do you feel about your chances?
:'''Lindsay''': Let's face it, Chris! It was my lousy Admiraling that cost us the challenge, if I go home tonight, I won't blame anyone, except Beth.
:'''Beth''': Why me?
:'''Lindsay''': I had to blame someone.
:'''Chris''': Then, there's Izzy. You overdid it on the first challenge and cost your team an important victory. Will it be your crazy bum sitting in the lamousine tonight for the second time?
:'''Izzy''': Explosivo does not answer most questions!
:'''Chris''': Justin! Beth and Lindsay seem to have kinda left your corner, pretty boy. Are you worried?
:'''Justin''': I never worry! Causes wrinklage!
:'''Chris''': All right then. Votes have been tabulated. So, it’s time to present the awards. ''[A parachute falls along with the vote sheets]'' Tonight, the Gilded Chris goes to… Beth, Lindsay, and… Owen. ''[Izzy and Justin are the bottom two]'' And now, only two nominees left. The final award goes to... JUSTIN! ''[Justin is given his Gilded Chris, Izzy is shocked]''
:'''Izzy''': Porqué?
:'''Owen''': I'll miss you, Iz. ''[Owen is about to kiss, but Chef grabs Izzy, and carries her to the Lame-o-Sine]''
:'''Justin''': ''[in confessional]'' I'm not saying I voted for Izzy just because she said I'm not cute. Okay, it was because of that. Thing is, Beth and Lindsay told me they were sending me home. So, you see? I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to... shake things up, huh. With my new patented all-time, lady-killing, Mega-Flip. ''[Justin flips his hair, by shaking his head]'' I'm back, baby.

{{line}}
:'''Izzy''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after her second elimination]'' Yeah, getting voted off feels like it happened weeks ago. I guess cause it did happen weeks ago! ''[giggles]'' But I know my team loves me! I know it was Justin who got me voted off. But I don't blame him! And if Big O voted against me, I'm not even mad at him! But Explosivo? He is one crazy vengeful hombre! So, Big O, I'd check your sleeping bed before you get into it tonight. I think Explosivo might have left you a little something to remember him by! ''[takes out bomb]'' A little something that goes: Boom Boom! ''[she almost drops the bomb and tries to catch it]''

===Aftermath II [2.12]===
:'''Gwen''': Duncan didn't vote me off.
:'''Courtney''': Only because you had your goth girl hooks into him!
:'''Gwen''': Courtney, we're just friends! Please tell her, Trent.

{{line}}
:'''Sadie''': Hi, Auntie Gwen.

{{line}}
:'''Gwen''': Ugh! we're just-
:'''Geoff''': Uh-''uh''! ''[Pointing to the anvil]'' Watch what you say!
:'''Gwen''': ... Friends.
:''[The anvil stays where it is, proving that she's telling the truth]''
:'''Courtney''': I am so calling my lawyer!

===Ocean's Eight - Or Nine [2.13]===
:''[Courtney returns to the game after winning her lawsuit against the show]''
:'''Chris''': ''[straining to read a document from Courtney's lawyers]'' Teams, it is my honor to report that Courtney is back for the duration of the game. ''[Courtney waves to the Gaffers as Duncan looks scared]'' And, we're all exceedingly happy about it!
:'''Heather''': She got voted out fair and square!
:'''Courtney''': Sorry, Heather, but myself and the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen and Strauss would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers and won.
:'''Harold''': Great news, eh, Duncan?
:''[Duncan shoves Harold in the face and to the floor]''
:'''Chris''': So, Courtney, since you were our bank teller in the challenge, great job by the way, you get to decide which team deserves to win first prize, your bag of loot.
:'''Courtney''': The choice is obvious, it's Duncan! I mean the Gaffers, since they were the only team that managed to get to my ticket. ''[Duncan walks up to get the bag]'' Congratulations.
:'''Duncan''': ''[very confused and strained look and cracking voice]'' Thank you?
:'''Heather''': I've seen manlier men trying on women's shoes.
:'''Chris''': ''[waves hand over Grips]'' So that means, The Killer Grips win second prize!
:'''Justin''': What's second prize?
:'''Chris''': ''[waves hand over Courtney]'' Courtney! For the rest of the game, or until she's eliminated!

{{line}}
:'''Heather''': &quot;Non-negotiable Chris cash. Accepted only in the ''Total Drama Action'' craft services tent towards the purchase of water from the tap?!&quot;
:'''Harold''': Sometimes, I really hate that smile of his.

{{line}}
:''[Although all Killer Grips voted off Courtney, her lawyers made it so she could not be voted off in that episode. She voted off Owen for losing the challenge]''
:'''Chris''': Like always, Killer Grips, one member of your team will not be receiving a coveted Gilded Chris, made of the finest Belgian chocolate. ''[Owen's stomach grumbles and his jaw holder breaks lose and a piece hits Courtney in the eye]'' But not like always, and this is important to remember: This week, according to our lawyers, none of you are allowed to vote off Courtney. You got that, dudes!? The show can't afford any more lawsuits! ''[whispers]'' My massage budget has been sliced in half! ''[The Killer Grips casted their votes. Chef gives the vote sheets to Chris]'' And the Gilded Chris Awards go to Beth, Lindsay, Justin. ''[looks at the vote sheet]'' Why do I have four votes to boot out Courtney when I ''specifically'' said you COULDN'T?
:'''Justin''': I guess we couldn't help ourselves.
:'''Lindsay''': No matter what? My finger would only press the Courtney button.
:'''Chris''': Well, that leaves us with one vote that counts.
:'''Courtney''': ''Owen'', you've been eliminated.
:''[Owen walks up to Chris]''
:'''Justin''': This is bull!
:'''Lindsay''': You can't do that!
:'''Chris''': Sorry, bud, no Chocolate Chris Award for you.
:'''Owen''': Not even an ear?
:'''Justin, Beth, and Lindsay''': Speech, speech, speech, speech!
:'''Courtney''': He lost the game for us, guys. Hello?
:'''Chris''': Anything in your contract that'll stop him from speaking?
:'''Courtney''': Um, no... but --
:'''Chris''': Then... a little light for my friend here.
:'''Owen''': ''[laughs while wearing his suit]'' Wow! I'd like to thank the academy!
:'''Chris''': The Academy of the Glided Chris. Trademark patented and all mine. 
:'''Owen''': ''[reading his speech]'' This has been the role of a lifetime. Thanks to Justin, ''[shows Justin as a hot dog in Owen's eyes]'' who inspired me every day with his physical perfection and &quot;hot dogginess.&quot; To Lindsay, ''[shows Lindsay as a bottle of soda]'' who is also beautiful, in a &quot;soda-poppy&quot; kind of way. To Beth, ''[shows Beth as a chicken leg]'' who motivated me with her delicious crispy skin, ''[Beth frowns]'' and her tender, juicy goodness. To Chris, ''[shows Chris as a slice of pizza]'' who also smells -- ''[The Gilded Chris theme begins to play, as to cut Owen's speech short]'' What? No, no, you can't play me off yet! To my mom, who let me quit piano lessons! To my brothers, I'm sorry for scamming you out of your Halloween Candy.
:'''Lindsay''': ''[in background]'' We love you, Owen!! ''[Lindsay, Justin, and Beth throw their Chocolate Chris' at Owen]''
:'''Justin''': This Chris is for you.
:'''Owen''': [begins to mumble because of the Chris that landed in his mouth, and awakens from the flashback in regular clothes, on the ground] I love this game!
:'''Chris''': And that wraps up another totally dramatic episode, without absolutely no loose-ends to tie up. Isn't that right, Chef?
:'''Leshawna''': ''[still locked inside]'' Guys? Yoo-hoo? What do you say?
:'''Chef''': Nope.
:'''Chris''': Nah. Didn't think so.

{{line}}
:'''Owen''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after being voted off by Courtney]'' If Lindsay and Beth hadn't looked so tasty, none of this would have happened. I guess you can't win 'em all, especially after suffering an injury to the body's most important organ - The mouth! Hey. Now that I'm free, I can go anywhere I want. ''[chuckles]'' Driver, take me to the nearest food court, and step on it! I've had more than enough action, it's time for some snackin'! Hoo-hoo! One last cheese squeeze before I go. ''[farts]''

===One Million Bucks B.C. [2.14]===
:'''Heather''': ''[Confessional]'' It kills me. That Lindsay-iot has all that hair on her head when it's ''her fault'' I lost mine. I would've chopped it off, but all I had was a hairbrush.

{{line}}
:'''Lindsay''': ''[Confessional; angered by Courtney's actions]'' Courtney thinks she knows everything. But she doesn't know that when I was twelve, my flat iron once accidentally set fire to my grandma's house. Twice! 

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': Thanks to Courtney's lawsuit, she'll be playing by a set of different rules.
:'''Duncan''': You said there are no rules.
:'''Courtney''': There are if you have a good lawyer.
:'''Chris''': Chef, Let's get this over with... Ahem! Rule one. Notwithstanding that contestants are not permitted with contact from the outside world. The contestants hereafter refer to as &quot;Courtney&quot; may retain a Personal Digital Assistant. AKA her PDA.
:'''Beth''': What?! That's so not fair! I'm the one with a boyfriend!
:'''Chris''': Care to take that up with our legal department, Beth? ''[Chef breaks a court mallet and Beth gasps]'' Didn't think so... Rule Two. Whereas contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided by Chef Hatchet, Courtney shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience consisting of producers, and myself as applicable. I hope you like lobster.
:'''Beth and Heather''': No way!
:''[everyone, but Chris and Courtney yell in protest]''
:'''Chris''': Let's see your lawyers get you out of this one.
:'''Courtney''': What?! I'm still sleeping in the girl's trailer!
:'''Chris''': Where she will have a pure goose down pillow, extra comfy loftier, and 700-count sheet. Oh, and her Own... Private... Bathroom! ''[everyone yells in protest at Chris and Courtney again]'' Those are the new rules. Let's call them &quot;Courtney's Rules&quot; in honor of Courtney. Who gets special treatment. And an unfair advantage.
:'''Duncan''': Nice. Our spoiled princess didn't waste any time hooking herself up!
:'''Courtney''': And you didn't waste any time hooking up with Gwen after I left!
:'''Duncan''': While I'm touched, you're obviously still hot for me, my relationships are none of your business.
:'''Courtney''': You're on TV! They're everyone's business!
:'''Duncan''': Well then the whole world knows that at least I play by the rules... Most of the time! What? Don't think you can win the million bucks fair and square?
:'''Courtney''': I could kick your two-timing butt with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back!
:'''Duncan''': Gonna be pretty tough to eat lobster like that! ''[both growl at each other]''

===Million Dollar Babies [2.15]===
:'''Leshawna''': ''[recorded video on Courtney's PDA with Leshaniqua]'' Ooh, Heather! Mm! Just mean for the sake of being mean. Lindsay has half the brain cells, ''max''. And is usually gone out shopping. Ooh, Ooh! Probably with Justin's giant ego. ''[laughs]'' Duncan, likes to think he's a bad boy, but when Courtney was there, she basically dragged him around by his eyebrow ring. Beth, actually wears a side ponytail. A ''side'' pony! And Harold? Darn fool's sweet on me, but he's getting about as much play as an old school cassette in a world of MP3s! ''[She and Leshaniqua laugh hysterically]''
:'''Leshaniqua''': Ooh, girl.
:''[After watching the video, everyone turns to Leshawna and glare angrily at her]''
:'''Leshawna''': You don't understand, that was ''outside'' the game! I didn't know anybody'd see it!
:'''Lindsay''': So, you weren't just joking? I thought maybe you were joking.
:'''Leshawan''': Uh, yes. I was. And I wanted you to see it. Isn't that right? ''[laughs]'' Psych!

{{line}}
:''[Heather got eliminated because Leshawna's cheerleading convinced Duncan and Harold to vote for her, who lost a challenge and had a bad reputation from past actions, instead of Leshawna]''
:'''Chris''': So, the Gaffers lose it again! Must be tough! Especially with your own teammate dissing you all over the World Wide Web.
:'''LeShawna''': Hey! I got enough problems with you messing things up.
:'''Chris''': And Heather, you would have to feel awful about your humiliating. loss to Beth on the badminton court. ''[pause]'' Heather?
:'''Heather''': Sorry! I'm trying to remember what feeling awful is like.
:'''Chris''': Duncan might remember, since he lost to a girl in wrestling.
:'''Duncan''': She's not a girl. She's Courtney! It's a whole other thing!
:'''Chris''': Harold! I'd say you might be the only one who might be safe.
:'''Harold''': Well, Chris. I...
:'''Chris''': No one wants to hear it! ''[Gave Harold a Gilded Chris]'' Just take the statue! ''[Tosses another Gilded Chris to Duncan]'' Diaper Shark! You're safe too! ''[Heather and LeShawna are the bottom two]'' LeShawna...
:'''Leshawna''': ''[nervously]'' Yes?
:'''Chris''': I'm sorry, but...heads up!
:''[Leshawna catches the award and stands up in delight]''
:'''Leshawna''': Yes!
:'''Heather''': What?! You voted me off?! Me?!!

{{line}}
:'''Heather''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after her elimination]'' You know, it's really just a total relief to be out of there. In a mill isn't worth wasting another second of my time with those freaks. At least I didn't have to lick anyone's armpit this time. And now, I have the time to get a weave and correct this travesty. I mean the million would have come in handy to get some totally rad extensions, and my dad's so cheap I'll probably end up with pony-hair. Maybe I can cut my mom's off while she's sleeping. She's always had nice volume. Now that the dumb game's done, the possibilities are endless.

===Dial M for Merger [2.16]===
:''[Lindsay tries using the doorknob to get in the girls' trailer, and a camera, scans her face.]''
:'''Voice''': Intruder alert! Entry denied!
:''[The stairs dissolve and it sends Lindsay falling down a hole. Duncan comes over.]''
:'''Duncan''': What the?! ''[A tranquilizer dart hits him and he passes out and falls in the hole]''
:'''Courtney''': Duncy!
:'''Harold''': Duncy?!
:''[A bowler hat knocks Courtney out and falls in the hole, the others gasped.]''
:'''Justin''': Run for cover!
:''[Leshawna, Beth and Justin take refuge in the boys' trailer, Harold tried to follow, but, the door closed on him.]''
:'''Beth''': What's happening?! Are we gonna die?
:'''Harold''': ''[in confessional]'' I used to think the producers were mean. But now I think they're actually trying to kill us! If you ask me, it's a conspiracy to- ''[An intern knocks him out by hitting him in the back of the head with a nightstick]''
:''[Justin, Beth, and Leshawna are trapped in the boys' tralier]''
:'''Justin''': Hey, where's Harold?
:'''Beth''': We're all gonna die!
:'''Justin''': Beth, it's gonna be alright. Just focus on my calming beauty, and my soothing complexion. ''[Beth cries her eyes out]'' Ah! I'm hideous!
:'''Leshawna''': Oh no! This is not happening to me!
:''[a gas bomb is thrown inside, and Justin, Beth, Leshawna get knocked out]''

{{line}}
:'''Justin''': ''[after Beth elbows him in the eye]'' My eye! My beautiful, un-insured eye!
:'''Beth''': I'm so sorry! Are you okay? ''[Beth touches his elbow]''
:'''Justin''': Ah! I bruise easier than a clingstone peach. Must prevent swelling... I need ice! Ice! ''[Justin runs away, then looks at himself in a mirror]'' I... am... a hideous beast! No one will ever hire me now! My modeling career is over! I'll have to go work in the circus as one of those... circus freaks.

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': Oh. And one last thing. Since I’m really ho-hum bored of the teams. I’m busting them up. From now on, it’s every dude and dudette for themselves.

{{line}}
:'''Beth and Lindsay''': Wanna go together, BFF? ''[laughs as they try to get past the lasers, but, ends up getting stuck]''
:'''Lindsay''': This is all your fault!
:'''Beth''': No! This is all your fault! What kind of BFF are you anyway? Number one requirement for a BFF, don’t allow other BFF to get stuck between dangerous life threatening lasers.
:'''Lindsay''': Yeah! And you know what the number two requirement is? The number one requirement.

{{line}}
:'''Duncan''': ''[as Courtney was skillfully maneuvering through the lasers]'' If I were a wolf, I’d howl. Aww! What the heck! ''[howls]''

{{line}}
:''[Lindsay is talking to Courtney at the Lim-o-sine as she ignores her]''
:'''Lindsay''': Isn't this fantastic? You and me together. Oh, I hope there's a cracker factory next door. I love cheese with crackers. Let's play a game. You name all the cheeses you can and I'll do the same.
:'''Courtney''': Ah! ''[angrily lets go of Lindsay]''
:'''Lindsay''': Gorgonzola, swiss, cheddar. Seriously strong cheddar. Can you guess what it tastes like? Seriously strong. ''[Courtney angrily leaves the Lim-o-sine]'' This is fun. Cream cheese, cheese sticks. Cheese in a can.

===Super Hero-ld [2.17]===
:'''Chris''': Where are your tights?
:'''Duncan''': I don't do spandex, I'm The All-Seeing Eye, and I've got psychic powers. I can see into the future.
:'''Harold''': Yeah, right.
:'''Duncan''': Harold is about to experience a painful life lesson. ''[punches Harold in the arm]''
:'''Harold''': Ow!
:'''Chris''': Even I saw that one coming. Two points.

{{line}}
:''[Harold was goaded into voting off Leshawna by Duncan and Courtney.]''
:'''Leshawna''': You guys voted for me?
:'''Harold''': ''[cries]'' I'm sorry. I didn't know if I could trust you, but I made a big mistake. A big mistake.
:'''Leshawna''': Awwww, honey-pie, don't you worry. I made a mistake once too. Don't hate the player, hate the game.
:'''Harold''': Do you forgive me?
:'''Leshawna''': Come here, sugar baby. Leshawna's gotta a whole lot of love. ''[gives Harold a hug]''

{{line}}
:'''Leshawna''': ''[in the Lame-o-sine after her elimination]'' I gotta say, I didn't really see that coming. I should've, but I didn't. Hmph, go figure. Who knew that free matty patty would cost me a million big ones? Poor Harold, I'm sure he was bullied into it. Just one more reason I can't stand Duncan! ''[growls and grabs a cushion from the car seat; camera skips, revealing Leshawna has torn up the Lame-o-sine interior due to her rage]'' Don't worry, I'm good. I'm good. You just wait, Duncan. I'm coming for you. One little scratch on my boy Harold and Leshawna will be getting all up in your business. Oh man, I broke a nail!

===Aftermath III [2.18]===
:'''Bridgette''': You don't have to do this, Owen.
:'''Geoff''': So, Owen...
:'''Owen''': AAAH! ''[talks about his childhood flashback]'' In the 3rd grade, I cheated on my math exam. In 4th grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and glued it to a goat's butt at the petting zoo. In 5th grade, I knocked my little brother down a flight of stairs and blamed it on my other little brother. When my mom sent me to summer camp for fat kids and they served us lunch, I pigged out, and the rest of the camp had nothing to eat for an entire week. But the worst thing I've ever done... I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and went to school and hid the puke in my jacket. And then I made a noise like this ''[makes retching noise]'' and I dumped it all over-
:'''Bridgette''': Owen! I don't think that's what Trent meant. ''[shows people in VIP section smiling; almost as if they're about to laugh]''
:'''Owen''': What other kind of truth is there?

{{line}}
:'''Heather''': They can shock me all they want. My parents tried electroshock therapy on me when I was a kid to try and make me nicer. Worked like a charm.
:'''Geoff''': ... So, Heather, before you were voted out, Courtney was brought back. Do you think she's a worthy competitor?
:'''Heather''': No. ''[gets electric shock]''
:'''Geoff''': Awesome! Do you think Lindsay's as dumb as she looks?
:'''Heather''': Yes. ''[gets electric shock]''
:'''Geoff''': This is too easy Do you think Beth could be a threat?
:'''Heather''': Beth? Absolutely not! ''[gets electric shock]''

===The Princess Pride [2.19]===
:'''Justin''': No, I am a noble gentleman, a brave knight, a handsome prince. I would never hurt a lady.
:'''Harold''': Although a guy who's working with you is apparently fair game!
:'''Justin''': I said I was sorry, Harold. I refuse to raise a sword to Courtney. I give up any chance at immunity to spare her. And now... ''[puckers his lips, expecting a kiss from Courtney]''
:'''Courtney''': Sorry, Justin. I just can't let immunity go. You understand. ''[pushes Justin off the tower with sword]''
:'''Justin''': I forgive you, princess! ''[falls and hits the castle backdrops and then, lands painfully on the ground]'' I'm okay.
:'''Chris''': Courtney wins immunity, again!

{{line}}
:''[Justin got eliminated because Courtney pretended to like him to get him to throw the final part of the challenge to earn invincibility for herself as well as tensions between him, Duncan and Harold]''
:'''Chris''': So, with immunity, Courtney is the first to win a Gilded Chris.
:'''Courtney''': ''[Catches the Gilded Chris, then feels the pain]'' Ow.
:''[It's revealed that Beth was pinning the Princess Courtney doll.]''
:'''Beth''': I think she felt that! Cool!
:'''Lindsay''': Get her elbow!
:'''Chris''': Before we continue the awards though, I have some news. Courtney's lawyers called and demand an 80% of all the profits of the Princess Courtney merchandise. So not gonna happen! So, we're renaming them after the only other two brunettes left in the competition. Beth! ''[Beth squeals excitedly and hurries onstage]'' You get your very own Princess Beth doll. And the contract stating you get 0% of the Princess Beth profits. Along with a Gilded Chris award. You live another week!
:'''Beth''': ''[Squeals]'' Fairytales do come true! ''[Notices something]'' Oh my gosh! ''[runs off]'' Take the pins out!
:'''Chris''': Also still in the competish. Lindsay! Eh. Harold! ''[Justin and Duncan are the bottom two]'' Who will lived happily ever after? And who will die penniless? And the last Gilded Chris goes to... Justin! Duncan, you're out.
:'''Courtney''': WHAT?! This is an outrage! Justin should be going home!
:'''Chris''': Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding. Justin's actually the one who's been eliminated! ''[gave Duncan the last Gilded Chris]''
:'''Duncan''': ''[to Courtney, smirking]'' An &quot;outrage,&quot; huh?
:'''Courtney''': ''[confessional]'' All I meant was that Justin deserve to go home. I worked really hard at getting him to fall for me. It’s called strategy. My feelings have nothing to do with Duncan getting voted off. As if I care about that. ''[blows her hair]'' I don’t!
:'''Justin''': Courtney?! ''[Courtney was looking at her PDA and waves]'' Beth?! Lindsay?!
:'''Lindsay''': Princess Beth is so cute!
:'''Justin''': Is no one even gonna miss me?
:'''Duncan''': Ciao!
:'''Harold''': See you in the funny papers! Farewell! Auf Wiedersehen! Don’t let the door hit you in the...
:'''Justin''': Okay. Stop already! I’m going! But, you’ll regret it! ''[walks to the limo]'' With me gone, this competition has gotten 80% less handsome. ''[hits the limo]'' Alright! 79.

{{line}}
:'''Justin''': ''[in the Lam-o-sine after his elimination]'' What I've learned, well maybe the good looks won't take you everywhere you want to go. I mean what if I ended up with, a wounded face, bruised ego, and a show that I can't even wear. Oh Courtney, maybe if I stopped modeling and threw all my energy intro getting smarter, you can fall in love with me but modeling pays and Heyzeus my booker says that even with my severe facial wounds he could give me a bunch of leg modeling and some celebrity kid's birthday party.

===Get a Clue [2.20]===
:'''Harold''': I failed him!
:'''Beth''': Oh, the humanity!
:''[Harold and Beth screaming]''
:'''Lindsay''': Dead guy on the train! Ew!
:''[Harold and Beth screaming]''
:'''Duncan''': Would you pull it together, losers? We've got to figure this out!
:'''Lindsay''': This reminds me of the time we were on the bus on the way to cheering camp. The head cheerleader, Carmalita Santos passed right out! I always hated Carmalita because Carmalita thought she was so great. But we had to do something! She was drooling! So me and Bitsy Stephanopolis ran to the front of the bus. Bitsy's real name is Elizabeth, but everybody calls her Bitsy. 

{{line}}
:'''Lindsay''': So Mrs. Witlock came running back from the rest stop with some full sugar fruit punch! Not the aspartame saccharin stuff. That doesn't work for these types of situations. And she gave it to Carmalita and we have to get some fruit punch for Carma...uh, Chris!
:'''Courtney''': Yeah. Okay, anybody else have any great ideas?
:'''Harold''': Knowing a bit about trains myself, I can say that an engineer is probably steering this thing, and could be counted upon for aid. Duh. Beth, try the phone to the engine.
:'''Beth''': Hello? Hello?! Nobody's answering!
:'''Lindsay''': We're trapped! We're all gonna die!
:'''Courtney''': Is everybody here really that gullible? Yeah, Chris just happens to croak right here in front of us, and we can't reach anybody? ''[grunts]'' He's probably not even dead! ''[grunts]'' I only watched when you guys had to jump out of a plane. You guys were in that episode. Doesn't anyone remember that there was no plane? ''[grunts]''
:'''Beth''': She's right.
:'''Courtney''': I guarantee the crew is just shaking the train car. And the window view is a holographic projection. This is obviously all make-believe. ''[grunts]''

===Rock 'N Rule [2.21]===
:''[Owen returns to the game after his elimination]''
:'''Lindsay''': Why is Owen eating my popcorn?
:'''Owen''': ''[reappears and laughs]'' Hey everybody!
:'''Everyone''': Owen?
:'''Chris''': Owen! You were supposed to wait for your cue, what is wrong with you?
:'''Owen''': I was hungry! And when I'm hungry I forget everything except what my tummy is telling me. ''[in confessional]'' Me and my tummy are very close, we'd be even closer if it weren't for my chest.
:'''Chris''': Owen! Get lost! Until I get you your cue! ''[Owen runs off]'' I have an announcement to make because I'm the host and can do whatever I want I've decided to bring someone back to the show. Anyone guess who that might be?
:'''Lindsay''': Is it? What the name of the boy I liked again? Tyler?
:'''Courtney''': ''[sighs angrily]'' I can't take it anymore!
:'''Owen''': ''[shows up again]'' Hi everyone! I just can't help myself!
:'''Lindsay''': Yay Owen! ''[Owen hugs her]''
:'''Beth''': Hi Owen! ''[Owen hugs her]''
:'''Duncan''': Hey man!
:'''Harold''': Good to have you back! ''[Owen hugs him and Duncan]''
:'''Chris''': Fine Owen! Fine!
:'''Courtney''': Hello?! Not fine! No way Owen is allowed back. I had to file a lawsuit to get back on this show. I'm contacting my lawyers.
:'''Chris''': You're not the only one with lawyers; Owen also filed a lawsuit...and won. His jaw was busted by Chef, and he was unfairly kicked off the show. Is that good enough for ya?
:'''Owen''': ''[confessional]'' I didn't really file a lawsuit. I'm back because my mom spent 50,000 bucks we don't have, kind of put the family in a big hole. So Chris offered me 50 big ones to come back and stir up the doodoo. Oh! I don't want to cause any trouble because Lindsay and Beth and Duncan and Harold are my friends! Oh, and Courtney's okay, I guess.
:'''Chris''': All right people. Time for the big gig. Meet me at the big stadium in 10 minutes! You can't miss it!

{{line}}
:''[Lindsay accidentally voted for herself, and was eliminated in a 3-2-1 vote.]''
:'''Chris''': Six left! One must go! And it won't be Courtney.
:''[The gang casted their votes.]''
:'''Chris''': And the Gilded Chris goes to Beth, Courtney, Harold and Owen. Only one left and the last Gilded Chris goes to... Duncan! Lindsay's going Bye-Bye!
:'''Beth''': But, Lindsay? Harold and I voted for Duncan.
:'''Chris''': Thought so. In fact, what happened is a first for the show. A contestant accidentally voted themselves off.
:'''Lindsay''': What?!
:'''Chris''': Take a look, unlike me, the camera never lies. ''[shows a video clip of Lindsay voting herself off as everyone gasps and Duncan laughs]'' Lindsay, it's time to say sayonara. ''[short pause, with Lindsay staring at him blankly]'' That means goodbye.
:''[Lindsay sadly gets up and walks to the limo]''
:'''Beth''': ''[runs up]'' It's my fault. I distracted you. And now you've lost your chance at the million!
:'''Lindsay''': ''[brightening up]'' Don't worry. Friends are worth ''way'' more than money.
:'''Beth''': Lindsay, that's the sweetest thing anyone said all season.
:'''Lindsay''': Really?
:'''Beth''': Totally.

{{line}}
:'''Lindsay''': ''[in Lame-o-sine after voting herself off]'' Getting kicked off the show may be the best thing that ever happened to me! Now I can devote my time to something real meaningful. Like, helping the poor look better! I see them on the street and think, uh, with some blush, some eyeshadow, okay, and a lot of foundation, I could work miracles! And I'd have a line of skin care products named....Lindsay! And I'd make sure that none of them are tested on animals. Well, at least not the cute ones!

===Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen [2.22]===
:'''Owen''': Whoa! Harold did you hear that?
:'''Harold''': Did Leshawna Jr say something?
:'''Owen''': I think LJ has a message for us.
:'''Harold''': What is it girl? Speak.
:'''Owen''': ''[opens Leshawna Jr's box]'' Sounds like something about beating Duncan to a gooey pulp.
:'''Harold''': Can't be LJ would never ''[gasps about what Leshawna Jr said]'' did she just say kick his butt?
:'''Owen''': She totally did.
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs]'' Leshawna, Leshawna. As Confucius once said &quot;Forgive thy enemy, be reconcile to him&quot; You inspire me to be better LJ. Let me do the same for you.

{{line}}
:'''Owen''': So Harold, what do you miss most about Leshawna. Not the one in the box, the one you voted off.
:'''Harold''': Well, there's her melting laugh.
:''[Duncan laughing]''
:'''Owen''': Go on.
:'''Harold''': And her delicate beauty.
:'''Duncan''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, sorry. It's just that girl's as delicate as a freight train and... ''[Harold takes his glass and throws the water in his face as he is rubbing his eyes]'' What the... ''[Harold punches him hard in the face, knocking him out, then running ahead]''
:'''Owen''': Sorry Duncan. ''[Sasquatchanakwa comes out of cave and roars at Owen and Harold]''
:'''Harold''': Silence Geisha. ''[takes his glass and spills it]''
:'''Sasquatchanakwa''': ''[referring to Harold purposely spilling his water; in confessional; gruffly]'' Not cool!

===2008: A Space Owen [2.23]===
:'''Chef''': That was smart sealing the bridge with those two pillows.
:'''Chris''': Uh, Chef... those aren't pillows!

{{line}}
:''[Courtney and Beth get in a fight in the their trailer after Beth won immunity]''
:'''Harold''': I, too, love a catfight, but only between actual cats wearing tiny boxing gloves.
:'''Courtney''': I can't believe you went against me like that!
:'''Beth''': You deserved it for being so mean and bossy towards me!
:'''Courtney''': Oh, if that's how you feel, the girl alliance is over!
:'''Beth''': Fine!
:'''Courtney''': Fine!

{{line}}
:''[Harold got eliminated because Owen voted for him to keep himself covered, since he had been caught by Harold. Duncan also voted for him after he squished Scruffy.]''
:'''Chris''': And five will soon become four as we bid farewell to another cast member. Everyone! Cast your votes!
:'''Duncan''': This'll teach you to mess with my Scruffy. ''[votes for Harold]''
:'''Harold''': Bye-bye, traitor. ''[votes for Owen]''
:'''Owen''': Harold's on to me, I know it! ''[also votes for Harold]''
:'''Beth''': The girl alliance is over! ''[votes for Courtney]''
:'''Courtney''': ''[to the viewers]'' Back off! There's a reason why this is called secret voting, people.
:'''Chris''': And the Gilded Chris goes to… Beth, Owen, Duncan, and… Courtney! ''[throws the final Gilded Chris to Courtney]'' Sorry, Harold, you limousine awaits.
:'''Duncan''': Get on with it, Doris! ''[Harold runs to Duncan, and pulls his pants down, Chef grabs Harold]'' I kinda had that coming!
:'''Harold''': Fifth place?! But Owen's the traitor! You've gotta watch that guy like a hawk! ''[Chef tosses Harold into the Lame-o-sine]'' No wait! A falcon! Their eyesight is way superior.
:'''Beth''': Goodbye, Harold. I'll wait for you.
:'''Harold''': Haven't I suffered enough?
:'''Chris''': We'll see about that.

{{line}}
:'''Harold''': ''[in the Lame-o-sine after his elimination]'' I suppose 5th place is better than 6th place. But it would have been sweet to place in the top four over that traitor Owen! I almost got 3rd place in the school archery competition. Till I put an arrow through the principles Achilles tendon! I still have another two years of detention to look forward to when I get back. I get to hang with all the bad kids! They let me do their homework for them and stuff! You could say that I'm their leader! Man, just wait till they hear I have a sort-of girlfriend! Do I have to tell them it's Beth?

===Top Dog [2.24]===
:'''Owen''': Where were you all night? An alien abduction? It was, wasn't it?! You were subjected to an endless night of alien probing! Oh, the humanity!
:'''Duncan''': Chill, Owen, I spent the night in Courtney's trailer.
:'''Owen''': Really? What did you two do all night? Come on, come on!
:'''Duncan''': Down boy! We talked. About relationship stuff, mostly. ''[Takes out contract]''
:'''Owen''': Dude, Courtney gave you...homework?
:'''Duncan''': ''[in confessional, holding the stack of papers]'' Courtney wrote me a thirty-two-page letter outlining all my faults and how to correct them if we're ever going to have a serious relationship. All of which she expects me to memorize! I think I would have preferred a night of alien probing.

{{line}}
:''[Courtney got eliminated because Duncan betrayed her and Beth thinks she was a bigger threat than Owen. Chris also fired Owen because Courtney's lawyers told her and Beth about his purpose of returning, causing Chris to fire him from the show.]''
:'''Chris''': This is a big one, cast. Beth is safe from elimination, which means the rest of you are fair game. So sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time!
:'''Beth''': Owen betrayed us... but Courtney's the bigger threat! ''[votes for Courtney]''
:'''Owen''': I like Duncan, but Beth and Courtney eat less. More for me! ''[votes for Duncan]''
:'''Courtney''': See you never, traitor! ''[votes for Owen]''
:'''Duncan''': ''[snores, then wakes up, unnoticeably votes for Courtney]'' Huh?
:'''Chris''': The Gilded Chris goes to... Beth, and... Duncan! Courtney, since Beth and Duncan both voted for you, it's time for your ride home! Owen, I'll deal with you in a moment.
:'''Courtney''': WHAT?! Duncan voted for ME?! UGH! ''[Tosses away her voting device]''
:'''Duncan''': ''[in confessional]'' Court's popularity's in the toilet; I can't have her dragging me down. But the real reason? The thirty-two-page letter. And people call me psycho!?
:''[The other contestants uncovered Owen's identity as Chris' mole, so Chris fired Owen from the show]''
:'''Courtney''': ''[As she was forced in the Lame-O-Sine]'' How could you do this to me. After everything! We are so done!
:''[Chef closed the door. Duncan and Beth looked at each other and Chris led Owen to the Lame-o-Sine]''
:'''Owen''': Uh, Chris? I think you forgot to give me my Gilded Chris Award...
:'''Chris''': Sorry, Owen. You've been fired.
:'''Owen''': But... whyyyy?
:'''Chris''': ''[pushes Owen into the Lame-O-Sine, while Courtney is shouting indistinctive in the limo]'' What's the point of having a spy who's already been spied?

{{line}}
:'''Courtney''': ''[in the Lam-o-sine after her elimination]'' Better be Duncan who wins. He signed an iron-clad contract, and I'm taking my 50% of the million bucks! I don't care if it gets locked up in the courts for years. My lawyers will take my calls, when they realize how much money I'm going to make them. &quot;On vacation for three weeks?!&quot; I'm not paying them to take personal time! ''[throws the PDA out the window]'' Fine, I'll represent myself. Who needs lawyers, anyway? All I need is this little paper that holds my entire future. ''[the contract gets blown out the window]'' Nooooooooooooooo!

===Mutiny on the Soundstage [2.25]===
:''[Beth and Duncan are becoming the finalists of the season]''
:'''Beth''': I never thought I'd be the last girl left on ''Total Drama Action''! Yep, now it's just me...all alone...in the scary trailer...I miss all my girls, even Heather! ''[teeth chatter]''
:'''Duncan''': ''[hears Beth's teeth]'' Ugh! It's Beth chattering again! With a face like that, I'd be scared too, right guys? ''[no answer]'' Right... nobody left to laugh at my excellent zingers. The good news is there's also no one left to reek up the trailer with jungle breath, nobody to wake me up with screaming night terrors - &quot;Mommy!  Mommy!&quot; - and nobody with any chance of taking my guaranteed million away. ''[hears Beth]'' Put a blindfold on, loser! Man, I'm never gonna get to sleep. ''[a bomb is placed in Duncan's trailer causing him to pass out]'' What the?
:'''Beth''': DID YOU SAY SOMETHING DUNCAN? ''[a bomb is placed in Beth's trailer causing her to pass out]''

{{line}}
:'''Duncan''': My mom made me join the muskrat scouts to learn how to tie knots.

{{line}}
:'''Gwen''': My brother owns a Gibson guitar.

{{line}}
:'''Beth''': Justin cried at her aunt Lady Cici Mimi Didi Leduda's wedding.

{{line}}
:'''Bridgette and Geoff''': And the winner is...
:''[everyone looks on in admiration, until both Duncan and Beth come in at the same time]''
:'''Bridgette''': It's a... tie?
:'''Geoff''': So, um, what exactly are we gonna do about the million dollars?
:''[The others are shocked or upset about the results]''

===Aftermath IV [2.26]===
:'''DJ''': ''[voting for Beth]'' I really, really, really hate to choose, but I had to vote for Beth. She wins for being so gentle, and there's not enough gentle millionaires out there.

{{line}}
:'''Owen''': ''[voting for Duncan]'' I vote for Duncan for being such a healthy eater and because he still feels like one of the guys. [farts] I think I maybe had one fiber-rich scoop too many and my psyllium blendy this morning.

{{line}}
:''[Duncan's ending]''
:'''Chris''': The Season Two Total Drama Winner is... Duncan!
:'''Duncan''': ''[laughing triumphantly]'' AHAHAHA, YEAH!!!
:'''Courtney''': ''[runs up and hugs him]'' We're rich!
:'''Duncan''': Whoa-ho-ho-ho, not so fast, sister. Who said I'd share anything with you?
:'''Courtney''': ''[kisses Duncan, who subsequently looks content]'' Every king needs a queen.
:'''Duncan''': &quot;King,&quot; huh? That doesn't sound so terrible... ''[they continue kissing]''

{{line}}
:''[Beth's ending]''
:'''Chris''': The Season Two Total Drama winner is... Beth!
:'''Beth''': Yeeeeaaaaaah! ''[the other contestants cheer and Brady enters]'' Brady! ''[Beth and Brady hug]''
:'''Lindsay''': Wow!
:'''Heather''': He's not only real, he's really handsome!
:'''Justin''': Now I wish I didn't vote for her.
:'''Duncan''': Wanna get outta here and grab a bite to eat?
:'''Courtney''': I don't usually hang with losers..
:'''Duncan''': Neither do i but i asked you didn't I?
:'''Duncan''': So uh where do u wanna buy me dinner?
:'''Courtney''': I would like to give you a homemade Knuckle-Sandwitch! 
:'''Courtney''': But first let me look up a strategy and call my lawyers! an election-fraud?

===Celebrity Manhunt's TDA Reunion Show [Special]===
:'''Geoff''': Why didn't you dummies open the door?!
:''[reveals test dummies]''
:'''Trent''': Uh, dude. Those ''are'' dummies.
:'''Geoff''': Oh, yeah. ''[suddenly realizes something]'' Wait a minute. Isolated location? Dummies? Nuclear-testing signs? Flesh-eating mutants?!
:'''Mutant''': Hi.
:'''Geoff''': ''[gasps]'' Dudes, we gotta get out of here!
:''[Geoff and everyone else runs away as a bomb drops out of the sky and the building blows up.]'' 

{{line}}
:''[when Geoff, Justin, Beth, Trent, Katie, Sadie, and Eva arrived at the Celebrity Manhunt studio]''
:'''Geoff''': We gotta rescue the gang! Then, we gotta party!
:'''Blaineley''': Too late, Big Guy!
:''[The contestants and Chris appear on TV, celebrating the new season]''
:'''Trent''': Hey! What's Chris doing with everybody on TV?
:'''Geoff''': And bags of money?
:'''Josh''': Looks like you missed the boat, Chris just cast your buds on the next season of Total Drama!
:'''Blaineley''': And one of them will walk away with one million dollars!
:'''Geoff''': No! No! Nooo!!!
:'''Eva''': ''[starts getting furious]'' What?! No way! I'M GONNA LOSE IT! ''[starts hurling objects]''
:'''Blaineley''': We better sign off!
:'''Josh''': I agree! Thanks for watching Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Reunion Special! ''[gets hit by a camera]''

{{line}}
:'''Sierra''': ''[during her first confessional]'' O-M-G. This is my first confessional EVER! I am so excited! I never thought I would be on Total Drama, my favorite show in the world! Talking to all of my favorite TV stars is SO fab! Now I will finally put to rest all those Cody blog questions, like &quot;How many freckles does he have on his back?,&quot; &quot;What kind of deodorant does he use?,&quot; &quot;How many times does Cody sleep facing west?,&quot; and &quot;What song does he sing in the shower?&quot; Ooo. ''[giggles]'' Oh! ''[giggles]'' Oh, my! ''[giggles]'' That last one will definitely be a six month analysis. Oh, yeah! ''[laughs and shrieks]''

{{line}}
:'''Harold''': I read my sister's psychology books, insinuating that she is older than me.

{{line}}
:'''Gwen''': Heather's younger cousin sent her a video of her cat Bruiser licking her face as she sleeps.

{{line}}
:'''Alejandro''': ''[during his first confessional]'' Watch out Total Drama nerds! The new guy is going all the way to the top!

{{line}}
:'''Chris''': ''[about the new season]'' 16 teens, a trip around the world, What more could you possibly want?
:'''Chef''': How about music?
:'''Chris''': Yeah, everybody's doing the musical thing, now. Sure, and music! See ya next time, on &quot;Total Drama...&quot; ''[cut to on top of the control tower]''
:'''Chris and Chef''': ''[singing]'' Musical! ''[cut to baggage car, where they stand on top of]'' Musical! ''[cut to the front of the plane]'' MUUU-SIIIII-CAAAAAL!! ''[the front of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet falls and breaks]''
:'''Chris''': Uh, maybe not! ''[the third season's TRUE name is shown: ''[[Total Drama World Tour|''Total Drama World Tour]]'']''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:Total Drama seasons]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
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    <title>The Penguins of Madagascar</title>
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'''''[[w:The Penguins of Madagascar|The Penguins of Madagascar]]''''' is an American CGI animated television series broadcast on Nickelodeon, starring the penguins from the 2005 film ''[[Madagascar (2005 film)|Madagascar]]''.

==Seasons==

== Season 1 ==
=== Episode 1: Gone in a Flash ===
:[''Maurice is making a sundae'']
:'''Maurice''': [''singing''] Making my ice cream, Oh, sprinkle it on, (''Julien grabs the sundae while Maurice is not looking'') Now we add a cherry on top! [''Julien grabs the cherry''] Owwwwwwww!
:'''Julien''': Uh, less sprinkles next time, okay Maurice?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maurice''': I just can't take this!
:'''Julien''': Rule number one: Do not question the king. Rule number two-- (''Camera falls into Maurice's arms; They begin to fight'')
:''[Later...]''
:'''Julien''': I said gimme! What part of Give or Me do you not understand?
:'''Maurice''': I understood the ''me'' part, like, this was caught by '''''ME!'''''

=== Episode 2: Launchtime ===
:''[last lines]''
:'''Skipper''': Looks like we have intruders, boys. Commence Operation: Hammer Head.
:'''Julien''': Excuse me. Hammer whose head exactly? 
:''[Rico coughs up a hammer in Skipper's flipper; Julien, Maurice and Mort run away screaming]''

=== Episode 12: The Hidden ===
:'''Skipper''': Pop quiz, troops. What can't we trust?
:'''Kowalski''': ''(flipping through his notebook)'' Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans.
:'''Skipper''': Right. What else can't we trust?
:'''Private''': ''(holding up a book on badgers)'' Badgers!
:'''Skipper''': ''(gives Private a questionable look)''
:'''Private''': ...Maybe that's just me.

=== Episode 15: All Choked Up ===
:'''Mort''': Ooooh, it smells like the circus!
:'''Skipper''': Uh, do you mind? We're trying to help him.
:'''Melman''': All right, Skipper. That's enough. It's my turn.
:'''Skipper''': WHAT?!
:'''Melman''': Okay, your stomach begins rumbling, it is on the verge of vomiting. Throw up!
:'''Mort''': Weeheheheee!
:'''Maurice''': Mort the bomb! Get rid of the bomb!
:'''Mort''': I got the bomb, Mort is the best, I am the winner! Mort is so—owe!
:'''Rico''': What happened?
:'''Skipper''': Why, Melman, you won! And Rico’s talking now! Oh, Thank you, Doc.

=== Episode 18: Miracle On Ice ===
:'''Skipper''': ''(After the rat king jumps on Kowalski while playing hockey; concerned)'': Kowalski, speak to me, man! 
:'''Kowalski''': ''(lying on ground)'': Just a... knock on the old... ''(twitches)'' ...monkey bus.
:'''Skipper''': ''(confused)'': Kowalski?
:'''Kowalski''': ''(stumbling on ice)'': No need to paint. I'm as flopsy-faced as ever.
:'''Skipper''': ''(after Kowalski gets up and picks up hockey stick)'':  I...don't think you're fit for duty.
:'''Kowalski''': ''(continuing to stumble)'': Flibertigibit, man. I'm as juxtaposed as the next hamburger. ''(slips and falls on his belly)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Private''' ''(after he and Skipper also get hurt)'': Skipper, maybe it's time to admit we've lost.
:'''Kowalski''' ''(stumbling in the background)'': The moo-cow may have a chocolate marshmallow.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Julian wins the hockey game, defeating the sewer rats, Rico, Private and Skipper looked shocked; Kowalski stumbles past them)''
:'''Kowalski''': Well, I'll be a bicycle-cream-cone!

=== Episode 21: Mort Unbound ===
:''[Last lines]''
:'''Kowalski''': Well, nothing left to do but whip up another batch of antidote.
:'''Private''': Actually, I don't think that won't be necessary. Private ''likes'' big.
:'''Rico''': Oh, boy.

=== Episode 23: Misfortune Cookie ===
:'''Julien''': And finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos!
:'''Rico''' ''(a rhino tramples him)'': ''(yelps)''
:'''Julien''': Uh, slight glitch, though, we only have one rhino. So you have to do it a thousand times.
:'''Rico''': ''(gets trampled by the rhino again)''
:''(Some time later)''
:'''Julien''': Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials! By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rico''': ''(scatting)''
:'''Duck''': Look out! ''(lands on Rico's face with his rear)''

=== Episode 27: Otter Gone Wild ===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Kowalski''': ''[goes up to Fred in the tree]'' You there. ''[Fred looks down at him and sees him holding up a drawing of King Julian and Marlene]'' Have you seen this Lemur and Otter?
:'''Fred''': Which one of them is the Otter?
:'''Kowalski''': ''[Looks at photo and points to Marlene]'' This one, obviously. Note the whiskers.
:'''Fred''': No, I-I thought that was a Cat.
:'''Kowalski''': Did I say &quot;Have you seen this Lemur and Cat?&quot;
:'''Fred''': No, that's why I thought it was strange that you drew a Cat.
:'''Kowalski''': It's not a Cat.
:'''Fred''': Then why does it have whiskers?
:'''Kowalski''': You know what, never mind the Otter.
:'''Fred''': Cat.
:'''Kowalski''': Whatever! ''[Holds the drawing up again]'' Have you seen the Lemur?
:'''Fred''': What's a Lemur?
:'''Kowalski''': ''[Turns around and walks away]'' I think we're done here.

=== Episode 35: I was a Penguin Zombie ===
:'''Private''': ''(hears Skipper wheeze and cough, followed by a bucket being kicked)'' Skipper's... gone? It-it-it can't be! ''(jumps off)'' What'll we do?
:'''Kowalski''': We will honor him the way he would've wanted... by soldiering on like men. ''(all three glare at the audience)''
:'''Marty''': What have I done? Skipper's gone and it's all my fault. 
:'''Alex''': I think we should apologize to the penguins the way for overly harsh chewing outing by being nice. 
:''(A Moment later, in their HQ, Alex, Marty, Melman, Gloria consoles them, all three are bawling; Kowalski is hugging Private while Rico spits out a picture of Skipper)''
:'''Alex''': Oh, man, we are so sorry.
:'''Rico''': Why, why, WHYYYY!?!

=== Episode 48: Dr. Blowhole's Revenge ===
:'''Julien''' ''(after Dr. Blowhole and he stopped laughing maniacally)'': Question: why are we laughing?
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': Question: how did the prisoner escape?! ''(Julien leaps on him)''
:'''Julien''': Prisoner escaped?! Is he dangerous?
:'''Dr. Blowhole''' ''(annoyed)'': No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dr Blowhole''': You'll appreciate this, Kowalski. I've installed a lair Theater System, High definition with surround sound. Exre-e-emely spendy.
:'''Kowalski''': (''slightly angry'') Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.
:'''Skipper''': ''(annoyed)'': Wouldn't miss it for the world.
:'''Private''': There's nothing good on Tely tonight anyway.
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': ''(hovering over Private)'': Well, Private, here's a little show ''I'' whipped up. It's called:
:'''Computer Voice''': Ring of Fire.
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed tricks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.
:'''Private''': Sorry. Did he say &quot;bitter&quot; or &quot;better&quot;?
:'''Skipper''': Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.
:'''Kowalski''': No, that would be the high ceilings.
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core. ''(four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing)''
:'''Skipper''': Oh, come on. ''(Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper)''
:'''Dr. Blowhole''': Do you mind?! I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-ealy quite a shocker.
:'''Skipper''': It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans-
:'''Private''': -activate the Ring of Fire-
:'''Kowalski''': -melt the Arctic- ''
:''(Rico babbles)''
:'''Skipper''': Well, how did we do, punk?
:'''Dr. Blowhole''' ''(slightly surprised)'': You're... in the ball park.

== Season 2 ==

=== Episode 16: Kaboom and Kabust ===
:''[At the Lemur Habitat, wooden debris is seen falling from the sky from Rico's Explosion]''
:'''King Julien''': That was the most &quot;awesome-est&quot; thing I have ever seen that wasn't me!
:''[Rico laughs with joy at being able to blow something up]''
:'''Skipper:''' Rico! ''[The other Penguins show up at the Lemur Habitat, all looking angry]'' Who authorized that billboard detonation, hmm?!
:'''Julien:''' Who authorized anybody to care? Ha! The shiny face sign is gone, and there was exploding! Haha! High-five the awesome baby!
:'''Rico:''' Alright! ''(high-fives with Julien)''
:'''Kowalski:''' ''(to Skipper with reminding words)'' You did tell him to take care of King Julien's problem...
:'''Julien:''' You know? I can think of many other things that also could use a good &quot;Kabooming,&quot; if you know what I mean!
:''[Rico tingles all over while giving a content shudder of ecstasy at the thought]''
:'''Skipper:''' Whoa, Ringtail! There's a reason we don't let Rico go wild with the kaboom. He needs a guiding hand to pull him back before things go too far-- ''[Rico and Julien then doze off from Skipper's warning about Rico's problem, instead imagining what they can blow up by constantly repeating the phrase &quot;Kaboom&quot; in their heads]'' --fiery end of life as we know it! ''Comprende''?
:'''Rico &amp; Julien:''' ''(monotoned)'' Kaboom! Kaboom!
:'''Julien:''' ''(regains consciousness)'' Uh-heh, I mean, of course! It is unwise that we two shall Kaboom together ''(winks to Rico)'' ever again.
:'''Private:''' Why are you winking?
:'''Julien:''' Because, I'm... allergic to, uh... Shut up, okay?
:''[Julien pushes The Penguins out of his habitat]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Julien and Rico are now in front of Julien's throne, which has been rigged with some explosives]'' 
:'''Julien''': You are my minister of awesome!!
:'''Rico''': YAA-HOO-HOOOO!! ''(high-fives Julien)''
:''[The other penguins shortly arrive after]''
:'''Skipper''': ''(demandingly angry)'' Rico! Explain yourself, soldier!
:'''Julien''': Ah! Check it out! You remember my old, boring, and lame throne?
:'''Rico''': ''(agreeing with Julien)'' Eh?
:'''Julien''': Now, thanks to the crazy penguin with the sick skills, it explodes like a rock-and-roller concert every time you say the word &quot;Julien!&quot;
:''[As Julien says his name, a shower of fireworks shoots up from the devices on his throne]''
:'''Rico''': ''(rock star-esque voice)'' AAAAAAAAAH, YEAH!!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Skipper''': Move in hard and fast, men! Rico's a danger to himself and others. We never leave a madman behind.
:'''Julien''': Haha! Too late, you silly penguin! Already he is expanding my kingdom with the most &quot;mayhem-iest&quot; destructo machine ever! Hahaha!-- ''[Just as Julien starts laughing, Rico is heard making a buzzing noise from Julien's throne and is seen shuddering violently]'' Okay, why is he just standing there?
:''[Rico's shuddering turns even more violently]''
:'''Skipper''': YOU MANIAC! YOU LET HIM GO TOO FAR!! He's built up too much psychotic pressure!
:'''Julien''': Too much... what?
:'''Private''': Don't you see? RICO ''IS'' THE DESTRUCTO MACHINE!!
:''[Inside the Lemur Habitat, Rico, now completely insane, proceeds to cause all sorts of chaos. This includes destroying Julien's throne and regurgitating all sorts of items everywhere. His items cause a giant crack in Julien's concrete pedestal and destroys it. Rico then proceeds to attack several nearby items such as trees and bamboo inside the Lemur habitat. All the while, there are explosions being seen from inside the habitat, to Julien's horror]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Rico's rampage has caused destruction to the Lemur Habitat]''
:'''Julien''': ''(devastated)'' My... kingdom...
:'''Private:''' You did the right thing, Julien... Eventually... When you had no other choice... Um... Good job?
:'''Julien''': ''(delighted)'' Look how roomy it is now! Finally, a habitat fit for a king! Come, Maurice, let us wallow in the luxurious nothing!
:'''Mort''': Hooray for nothing!
:''[Julien and the others leave to observe their &quot;new&quot; habitat as Private goes to join the other Penguins]''

=== Episode 22: Hello, Dollface ===
:'''Man over PA''': OK, guys. That's 9:00! Unbolt the doors...
''[The store doors are are packed with many people]''
:'''Man over PA''': ....and stand back!
''[A store employee and a horde of angry people start rampaging for the new Chatty Miss Perky doll. One person runs on Rico, Kowalski ducks and screams, and a person picks up Private. Private farts on that person's face, blowing his hat off.]''
:'''Private''': Oooh.
:'''Man''': ''[referring to Private]'' Talking penguin? ''[he shakes him]'' What is this? 2005?
''[The man tosses Private back on the floor]''
:'''Private''': Aaaaaahhhhh!
''[He crashes on the floor joining the other penguins. On the empty aisle shelf, the Chatty! sign from the doll's logo, hangs briefly, then falls. The penguins are beat up from the fight. Rico is on a tricycle wheel hanging upside down. Skipper sits up, his eyes rolling dizzily as he smiles goofily.]''
:'''Kowalski''': ''[exhausted]'' Maybe at a different toy store?
''[Later, at another toy store, Skipper is seen screaming because of the same doll rampage and he gets kicked by a person. Private is stepped on his head, Rico is squashed by a man's shoe. A person kicks Kowalski, crashing into the other penguins.]''
:'''Kowalski''': ''[woozy]'' Perhaps direct from the factory?

=== Episode 28: Hot Ice ===
:''(Skipper is discussing the value of the diamond necklace.)''
:'''Skipper:''' Yes, the kind of riches that turns men into animals and animals into… Kowalski what’s more savage than animals?
:'''Kowalski:''' Hmmm… malfunctioning garbage disposals?
:'''Skipper:''' C’mon, you’re not even trying.

=== Episode 34: Love Hurts ===
:''[Willing to see Shauna, Private veers to the right and blatantly avoids the Deli and descends to the right ground.]''
:'''Skipper''': Uh? Kowalski, what’s on the right side of the Deli?
:'''Kowalski''': I believe that would be Gunnerson’s Home of Rusty Bear Traps.
:'''Rico''': ''[facepalms]'' Oh boy...
:''[Private falls there and shouts in pain as the sound of bear traps snapping is heard.]''

=== Episode 35: The Officer X Factor ===
:'''Kowalski''': “Of course! It’s the salt. The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart into the convective cloud layer must have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction and BOOM! Instant rain.”

=== Episode 36: Brain Drain ===
:'''Kowalski''': I like peanuts, and I like butter, but I do not like peanut butter... ''[breaks the fourth wall with a creepy grin of idiocy]'' WEIRD!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Skipper''': So we’re stuck with the stupid Kowalski, well maybe it’s a good thing. I mean we were all getting tired of his big high, fleeting words like recalcitrant, right? I mean, what is that? ''Recalcitrant.'' Do I like recalcitrant to you?
:'''Rico''': Uh huh.
:'''Kowalski''': Oh YEAH! Up high!

=== Episode 46: All Tied Up with a Boa === 
:'''Skipper:''' Boys! Butter me up.
:'''Kowalski:''' Your leadership is impeccable and your musk is an ''intoxicating'' blend of danger and… ugh.”
:''(Skipper slaps Kowalski)''
:'''Kowalski:''' Right. ''(sees the tray of butter and realizes what Skipper was referring to.)''

=== Episode 48: Herring Impaired ===
:'''Private''': ''[he suddenly goes crazy]'' Sardines? '''FISH!''' ''[he runs towards Rico, who kicks him away and glares angrily]''
''[Private smacks into the wall and is held back by Skipper and Kowalski before he can get away]''
:'''Kowalski''': Private!
:'''Skipper''': Private! Explain yourself, soldier!
:'''Private''': '''FISH!''' ''[laughs crazily]''
:'''Skipper''': ''[creeped out]'' Kowalski, analysis!
''[Kowalski measures Private's head and puts a magnifying glass next to Private's right eye]''
:'''Kowalski''': Crazy eyes...''[ puts a popsicle stick on Private's tongue. Private waves his flippers up and down]'' Babbling tongue...
''[Private bites Kowalski's flipper, frees himself of their grip and runs to Rico, who pushes Private over]''
:'''Private''': '''FISH!'''
:'''Kowalski''': Egad! I believe our Norwegian herring was a bit too aged.
:'''Skipper''': Never ever blame the fish, Kowalski!
:'''Kowalski''': But don't you see? ''[pulls out a clipboard &amp; pencil]'' Private's contracted Bacterial, Pisces Dementia! A rare brain disease that's turning him into a '''fish-craving psychopath!'''
:'''Rico''': Hey! That's ''my'' thing!
:'''Skipper''': Yeah, we don't need two of those. Can he be cured?
:'''Kowalski''': It should wear off in 24 hours just as long as he doesn't feed the disease. ''[pulls up a chart with a fish on it]'' That means no fish of any kind. If Private ingests so much as a single sardine, he'll be like this forever.
:'''Private''': ''[he launches at the chart]'' '''FISH!'''
''[Rico, slyly, puts the sardines in front of Private's face and pulls it away, when he tries to get it, Kowalski and Skipper hold him back and Private yells, &quot;'''FISH!'''&quot; Rico does it again and again and again]''
:'''Skipper''': Stop that!
:'''Kowalski''': Well, on the bright side, maybe this will teach Private not to overindulge in so much brined herring. [chuckles]
:'''Skipper''': Wait, didn't you eat as much as he did? ''[Kowalski's right eye moves away then back to normal before showing he's been affected by the disease.]''
:'''Kowalski''': Why, yes I...dooby-dooby-did! '''FISH!!''' ''[ he lunges at Rico, but he pushes him away. Skipper keeps the two penguins away from the fish, slapping them repeatedly.]''
:'''Skipper''': Looks like we're on psycho patrol, amigo. No fish for these two for the next 24 hours.
:'''Rico''': ''[suspicious]'' Uhh, what about you?
:'''Skipper''': ''[confidently; still slapping]'' Luckily, my iron-clad constitution has made me immune to this Pisces Dementia.
:'''Rico''': Oh. [looks at him]
:'''Skipper''': Seriously. ''[Rico stares at him again]'' No effect. ''[Rico gives one serious look]'' Iron-clad constitution.
''[Rico smiles, thinking that it should be all right. Unfortunately, Rico panics as he stops hearing Skipper slapping Private and Kowalski. He stares at Skipper, seeing that he was affected by the disease like Private and Kowalski.]''
:'''Skipper''': '''FIIIISH!'''
:'''Rico''': AHHH! ''[Rico quickly eats the sardines and is chased around the HQ by the three fish-craving penguins. He blocks the door.]''
:'''Rico''': Uh-uh-uh! No fish!
:'''Alice''': ''[from outside]'' Feeding time!
:'''The fish craving penguins''': ''[pause for a while before charging up the ladder]'' '''FIIIISH!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Maurice''': Since when did we get ''four'' Ricos?

''[Alice continues to throw the fish and Rico eats it.]''
:'''Alice''': Hey! Baron von Greedenstein! Save some for the rest of the flock! ''[She uses a long pole to hold him back.]''


&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Alice''': ''[sarcastically]'' Great. All full then? ''[the three penguins are still wanting fish] Whatever, freaks. [leaves]''
:'''Rico''': Uh-uh! No fish!
:'''Delivery Truck Driver''': Yo, zookeeper lady. Where do you want this truckload of fresh cod fillets?
:'''Rico''': Aw, no!!
:'''The fish craving penguins''': '''FISH!!!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Rico''': ''[tired]'' No... fish...
:'''Factory Worker''': Alright people! That tuna ain't gonna can itself!
''[A siren sounds and the camera shows a conveyor belt full of fish starting up.]''
:'''Rico''': ''[rubs his eyes in shock]'' Are you kidding me?! ''[The craving penguins try to get past Rico, who holds them back.]''
:'''The fish craving penguins''': '''FISH! FISH! GIMME!! GIMME!!! GIMME!'''
:'''Rico''': NO! ''[As he continues to fight the penguins, Rico then sees a giant, fake fish on top of a building across the street and points to it, getting an idea.]''
:'''Rico''': ''[opera voice]'' '''♪FEEEESH!!!♪'''
''[The other penguins look at what Rico's pointing to.]''
:'''The fish craving penguins''': '''WOOHEE!!! FISH..!!!!!!'''
:'''Rico''': Hahaha! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you go ahead! Suckers!

=== Episode 49: The Red Squirrel ===
:'''Julien''': ''(after being submerged in toy dolls)'': I confess to everything! My father was not a talking water cycle! ''(is submerged again)'' I cheat at whistling! ''(makes raspberries)''
:'''Buck Rockgut''': These snitches don't know anything. They're just a bunch of &quot;small potatoes.&quot;
:'''King Julien''': It's true! I am also secretly a potato. OK, that one was a lie. I just wanted the ropes off, you know?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Fred''': I've always wanted to ride in a box. You know, they got cardboard in the inside, too. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Skipper''': (after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy) Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.
:'''Private''': I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. ''(the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair)''
:'''Red Squirrel''': ''(pushing the record button on a tape recorder)'' Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. ''(turns his chair around)'' Time to get to work. ''(laughs maniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it)'' Stupid eye-patch.

=== Episode 50: It's About Time ===
:'''Future Kowalski(s)''': Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!
:'''Private''': ''(in response to the first future Kowalski)'' Um... okay. Kowalski, stop, please.
:'''Skipper''': ''(in response to and kicks the second future Kowalski)'' There, you're stopped.
:'''Future Kowalski(s)''': No, not ''me'', me! ''That'' me!
:'''Private/Skipper''': There's 2 of you?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Skipper''': ''(kneeling down at the statue of liberty sunken in snow cone shavings)'' Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. ''(pounding on the floor)'' You finally did it. 
:'''Kowalski''': Yeah, but you got to admit, these are pretty good snow cones. ''(picking up snow cone offering to Skipper)''
:'''Skipper''': Yeah, totally worth it. ''(licking on snow cone)''

=== Episode 58: When the Chips are Down ===
:'''Private''': OK, Mort, we have enough food for several days. I'm sure Skipper will find us soon, right?
:'''Mort''': '' (sniffing his finger)'' Mmm! My finger smells funny! ''(giggles)'' You wanna smell it?
:'''Private''': No, I'd rather conserve energy and sleep; you should do the same ''(starts sleeping)''
:'''Mort''': Nighty-night. ''(stares his head left and right)''
:''(After a time transition, Mort was revealed to eat all the food in the machine and lets out a really loud and long burp, waking Private up)''
:'''Mort''': BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP!!!!!!!!
:'''Private''': Oh, what was that?
:'''Mort''': ''(lying on the machine, fattened up rubbing his big full Tummy)'' Ooh! My tummy don't feel so good.
:'''Private''': What happened? Where's the food?
:'''Mort''': Well, I got hungry.
:'''Private''':'' (a bit angry)'' So you ate everything?! Even the Cheezy Bits?!
:'''Mort''': They're not so bad after the fifth bag.
:'''Private''':'' (begins screaming in pain)'' Do you realize what you've done, Mort? We needed that food! It's doom to us both!
:'''Mort''': ''(sits down)'' Doom?!
:'''Private''': Yes, doom, doom, doom, because you're dumb, dumb, dumb!
:'''Mort''': ''(begins to cry)''
:'''Private''': Don't you dare crying!; Because only worse than being trapped with you the rest of my life is being trapped for the rest of my life with you crying!

 
:''[Later at The Zoo]''
:'''Private''': See, Mort? It was good that you ate the food!
:'''Mort''': But you told me not too.
:'''Private''': I Know Mort! But it was good that you did anyway because it saved us! Don't you understand?
:'''Mort''': ''[Mort puts his paws on his Tummy as his Tummy Gurgles very loudly and he let's out a very loud and big Fart]''
:'''Mort''': (Tummy Gurgles ) (Mort Farts very loudly) ( FFFAARRT! ) (Mort pats his Tummy) I have to go potty!

=== Episode 61: Arch-Enemy ===
:'''Skipper:''' One mistake little friend, we are like the three musketeers, except there are four of us and we’re birds and in no way French, but the same team mentality applies.
:'''Dale:''' Couldn't care less.

=== Episode 92: Cute-Astrophe ===
:'''Julien''': ''[once noticing the humans are unconscious by Private's Quantum Hyper Cute]'' Tell me, who among you is the Dark Wizard? 
:''[The penguins step aside to show Private]''
:'''Rico''': That guy.
:'''Private''': I was just trying this new little thing I could do! You know, kind of a little... ''[uses the Quantum Hyper Cute as the other Penguins look away]'' Boosh.
:'''Julien''': ''[lovingly]'' OH, LOOK AT HOW CUTE-- TOO CUTE! TOO CUTE!!

== Season 3 ==
=== Episode 132: High Moltage ===
:''[Private tries to use his Quantum Hyper Cute, only for his feathers to fall out as he does.]''
:'''Kowalski''': Of course, the itchy feathers. He's... ''[gasps]'' molting!
:'''Rico''': ''[disgusted]'' Ew!
:'''Skipper''': To the bunker! And cover the Private's shame.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Skipper, Kowalski and Rico scrub off the marker off of Private in a failed attempt to reverse his molting; Skipper, Kowalski and Rico look at Private in shock.]
:'''Private''': ''[confused]'' What? Did you miss a spot?
:'''Kowalski''': No, we were very... thorough. ''[gags]''
:''[Upon finding out that he's completely naked, Private screams in horror, scaring away some birds as he does.]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Alice''': ''[weary]'' Wow. That was nasty.
:''[In response, the zoo visitors instead recoil from Private's Anti Cute Attack.]''
:'''Private''': I failed.

=== Episode 149: Night of the Vesuviuses ===
:'''Skipper''': ''[last lines]'' Even problem, not our jurisdiction.

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Penguins of Madagascar, The}}
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Royal Rumble</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:52:15Z</timestamp>
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      <comment>/* 2016 */ From an alternate view shown later on YouTube.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="202920" xml:space="preserve">The [[w:Royal Rumble|Royal Rumble]] is the first [[w:WWE|WWE]] [[w:Pay Per View|Pay per view]] held of each year since 1989. The attraction of each royal rumble is a battle royal where 30 men come into the ring one at a time every two minutes. The last man standing in the ring after all 30 have entered is the winner. The first Royal Rumble was held on January 24th 1988 and aired on [[w:USA Network|USA Network]]. Each Rumble thereafter has been on PPV.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1988)|1988]] ==
:'''{{w|Jesse Ventura|Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura}}''': You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.
:'''{{w|Vince McMahon}}''': Who?
:'''Jesse''': You know who.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[on #13,{{w|Jim Duggan|Hacksaw Jim Duggan}}]'' What's he gonna come in and beat everybody with a 2x4?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jesse''': How does he get the {{w|One Man Gang|Gang}} over the top? That is the question, McMahon. The Gang weighs somewhere between 450-500 pounds—how is Duggan gonna get him over the top rope?
:'''Vince''': Obviously, he'd have to do what I believe, in some sort of fashion, the Gang's momentum is heading into the rope, and with the Gang going into the rope, Duggan can get underneath, he'll go.
:'''Jesse''': There might be another way too, if he can find the 2x4.
:'''Vince''': Why's that?
:'''Jesse''': Well, he could hit the Gang with the 2x4. That would be the only equalizer I could see.
:'''Vince''': Then again, the Hacksaw himself, somewhere around the 285 pound mark...''[One Man Gang charges Duggan, who pulls the top rope down. His action sends the Gang over the top rope and onto the floor, winning Duggan the Rumble]'' Oh yes! That's it!
:'''Jesse''': He pulled the top rope down! I can't believe it. Out of all the people to win this thing, it's him?
:'''Vince''': What a smart thing to do. Hacksaw Jim Duggan drops the top rope on the One Man Gang!
:'''Jesse''': I can't believe he actually did it.
:'''{{w|Howard Finkel}}''': The winner of the Royal Rumble: Hacksaw Jim Duggan!
:'''Jesse''': You know, with the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1989)|1989]] ==

:''[During the Royal Rumble drawing]''
:'''{{w|Ted DiBiase|&quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase}}''': It's time for the Million Dollar Man to pick the Million Dollar number. ''[Draws his number out of the cage.]'' And the winning number is... ''[Virgil opens up the number and reveals it to DiBiase.]'' Wait a minute...''[brings in {{w|Slick (wrestling)|Slick}}]'' Uh, Slick, Slick. When you drew numbers for your men, how did it go?
:'''Slick''': ''[laughs]'' Brother! It was unbelievable!
:'''Ted DiBiase''': We should talk.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': Look at how the Boss Man is manhandling Hogan.
:'''{{w|Gorilla Monsoon}}''': Yeah but he just got in the ring. The Hulkster's been in the ring for a half hour.
:'''Jesse''': No he wasn't! He was in there five minutes ago!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': {{w|Hulk Hogan|Hulk}} still creating mayhem for the {{w|Big Boss Man (wrestler)|Big Boss Man}}.
:'''Jesse''': Now, that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated!
:'''Gorilla''': Yes, he is, Jesse. So what?
:'''Jesse''': &quot;So what&quot;? If they'd have done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jesse''': And this is what Hulkamania is all about. Going out there and flagarantly cheating. Not leaving the ring when you're eliminated. Causing someone else to be eliminated when you have no business out there.
:'''Gorilla''': Are you condoning what the Big Boss Man did; what he and the Slickster did to the Hulkster?
:'''Jesse''': That was weeks ago. I'm talking here and now, Monsoon.
:'''Gorilla''': Sorry, you could only go back to the last couple of minutes then, or what happened yesterday.
:'''Jesse''': Hey, yesterday's gone. It's today that counts.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[seeing {{w|Mike Jones (wrestler)|Virgil}} outside the ring after DiBiase has entered]'' Hey, he's not supposed to be out there!
:'''Jesse''': Well who knows, Virgil could be number 31.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I'll tell you something though, Gorilla. As bad as it looks for the Million Dollar Man right now, don't count him out yet.
:'''Gorilla''': Why, because Virgil's still out there?
:'''Jesse''': No, because he's a darn good wrestler.
:''[Just as he says this, {{w|Big John Studd}} tosses DiBiase out, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, there he goes! ''[Virgil jumps in and attacks Studd]'' Look out, Virgil from behind. ''[Studd turns around and fights him throughout]'' Big John just turned around and faced him, didn't even acknowledge those shots he got. Virgil is indeed in trouble. Just like a rag doll. You're talking about 280 pounds of man there.
:'''Jesse''': This is definitely a little bit of an added attraction, isn't it?
:'''Gorilla''': The Royal Rumble is over, John Studd is the winner; he's just having...this is some creme on the cake, Jess.
:'''Jesse''': Well, I got to admit, Virgil kind of brought it on himself. But you got to respect Virgil, he's a paid bodyguard and he came in and tried to do his job.
:''[As he says this, Studd tosses Virgil out]''
:'''Gorilla''': There goes the 31st man.
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble: Big John Studd!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1990)|1990]] ==

:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': Not even Mickey and Goofy could get in here and I made sure of that. They didn't have tickets. Do you have a ticket,  Schiavone?
:'''{{w|Tony Schiavone}}''': No I don't.  I... what are you insinuating?
:'''Jesse''': Then what are you doing here?
:'''Tony''': I just wanted to sit beside you if that's okay.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Mean Gene Okerlund}}''': Last year, ''allegedly'', Ted DiBiase, you drew #30, which would be advantageous...
:'''&quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase''': &quot;Allegedly&quot;? Allegedly? No. Last year, little man, I ''drew'' #30!
:'''Mean Gene''': Well some suspected there might've been a little chicanery, but certainly that wouldn't happen this year, with all the added security of World Wrestling Federation president Jack Tunney, you're not gonna be buying...
:'''Ted DiBiase''': Security? You call that security? I call it downright gestapolism ''[sic]''. I didn't even have the opportunity to ''draw'' my own number!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, Ted DiBiase, you asked Virgil to draw the number for you.
:'''Ted DiBiase''': I didn't ask Virgil to draw the number!
:'''Mean Gene''': Well, of course you did!
:'''Ted DiBiase''': Virgil, did I ask you to draw the number! No! Shut up, don't say anything! You made a mistake, I...I can't believe this!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, what number did you draw?
:'''Ted DiBiase''': None of your business what number I...
:'''Mean Gene''': We're gonna find out sooner or later, where's the number? ''(DiBiase hands him the number)'' Oh, you couldn't have gotten a worse draw. This is #1—the worst number of the lot!
:'''Ted DiBiase''': Let me tell you something, little man. It doesn't matter whether #1, #2, or #30. What it means is I'll be the first man in the ring, I'll be the last man in the ring, and it's a golden opportunity for me to show all you 9-to-5 nickel-and-dimers out there that I'm the greatest wrestling talent in the world. I'll be there to the end, and I'll win it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I remember not too long ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, the {{w|Lanny Poffo|Genius}} upset the Champion Hulk Hogan!
:'''Tony''': He did?
:'''Jesse''': Yeah. Schiavone, who won the match?
:'''Tony''': Yeah but {{w|Curt Hennig|Perfect}} was on the outside with the belt. We all know what happened.
:'''Jesse''': No yeah buts! Who won the match?
:'''Tony''': The Genius.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Hair grows back, but, Beefcake, your ribs, they may not grow back the right way.
:'''Mean Gene''': That was totally uncalled for! To the Royal Rumble—I'm sure you're gonna have to deal with the likes of Brutus &quot;The Barber&quot; Beefcake later on. Thirty of the greatest...what was the number, by the way, that you drew?
:'''Mr. Perfect''': I drew the perfect number, and everybody knows the &quot;perfect number&quot; in the Royal Rumble is #30. And you bet I choose #30! I pulled it right out! And I'm gonna tell you something right now, as I'm standing here, the Royal Rumble is gonna be just like everything else I've done in my life—absolutely perfect.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''{{w|Jake Roberts|Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts}}''': It never ceases to amaze me, what the human mind can come up with. I mean, you think of the whole concept. The Royal Rumble, this afternoon you're gonna take thirty men, and every two minutes you're gonna send somebody to that ring—a fresh man. So you're thinking to yourself, well what number might be the best? Well,  the last number would be the best, but that doesn't really mean anything, cause there's still gonna be a lot of hungry men out there, and hopefully I'll be one of those hungry men. The man that wins this match is not gonna be the man that's the best wrestler, the best athlete; it's gonna be the man that will do anything, the man that will...take that extra step, do just a little bit more than anybody else, maybe sacrifice a little bit more than anybody else. Now, me—that sounds just a lot like me.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Countdown to #11]''
:'''Tony''': Here's the countdown...who will be next in the Royal Rumble?
:'''Jesse''': Uh-oh!  It's {{w|André the Giant}}!  The first member of Heenan family makes his appearance, André the Giant, The 8th Wonder Of The World.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Watch out! With a... ''[Demolition hit a double ax-handle on Andre the Giant. The momentum carries Andre over the top rope and eliminates him]'' He's out!
:'''Jesse''': They got him! {{w|Demolition (professional wrestling)|Demolition}} have accomplished a major obstacle. They've eliminated Andre the Giant!
:'''Tony''': Andre the Giant...certainly one of the favorites for the Royal Rumble...will be no more in this event.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[as {{w|Barry Darsow|Smash}}, {{w|Tonga Fifita|Haku}} and {{w|Jim Neidhart}} try to lift {{w|John Tenta|Earthquake}} out of the ring]'' They've got the feet up. They got the Earthquake's feet up, they're calling for more help.
:'''Tony''': Here comes {{w|Jimmy Snuka|Snuka}}. ''[Jimmy Snuka pushes from under Earthquake]'' Underneath.
:'''Jesse''': There's four of them. Four guys can't get the Earthquake...''[DiBiase joins in]'' Here comes DiBiase–that's five.
:'''Tony''': And {{w|Dino Bravo|Bravo}}... ''[Just as Dino Bravo tries to stop them, Earthquake finally gets pushed over the top to the floor, getting eliminated]'' Oh!
:'''Jesse''': Eliminated the Earthquake! That is a major accomplishment of major teamwork of major proportions!
:'''{{w|Jimmy Hart}}''': It took five of them! FIVE OF THEM!
:'''Tony''': It took...many of them.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': {{w|Shawn Michaels}} eliminated by {{w|The Ultimate Warrior|the Warrior}}.  And {{w|Rick Martel}} eliminated by the Warrior and look at this. Look at this!!
:'''Tony''': My God.
:'''Jesse''': Hulk Hogan and the Warrior!!
:'''Tony''': There is not a person sitting down.  Everyone on their feet.  Look at the eyes of the Hulkster...the eyes of the Warrior.
:'''Jesse''': Whoa!!! What a match up this will be!  The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan one-on-one.
:'''Tony''': ''[Hogan and Warrior stare at each other]'' Hold on to your seats. This place is gonna explode.
:'''Jesse''': ''[Hogan and Warrior collide into each other]'' Whoa! Nobody moved.  Again, nobody moved.
:'''Tony''': Look at this.
:'''Jesse''': ''[Hogan runs vertically across the ring, Warrior runs horizontally.]'' Criss-cross.
:'''Tony''': ''[Hogan drops face first on the mat]'' The Hulkster down...he missed a clothesline.
:'''Jesse''': OH!! And they clotheslined each other.  They're both down, unbelievable.
:'''Tony''': Absolutely incredible. These two athletes...the Hulkster, the Warrior...every man for himself going at it...and they both are down.  Listen to the fans.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Here's the Perfect Plex! ''[Mr. Perfect plants him]'' Look at this! He could've pinned him.
:'''Tony''': ''[But Hulk Hogan escapes and rises to his knees]'' NO!
:'''Jesse''': I don't believe this.
:'''Tony''': Absolutely not. ''[Perfect tries to attack Hogan, but Hogan begins Hulking up]'' You're right in saying that Perfect is the freshest of the two, but the other is Hulk Hogan. ''[On his feet, Hogan now attacks Perfect]'' And here he comes! ''[Hogan slingshots Perfect into the turnbuckle]''
:'''Jesse''': WHOA! He put him into the post! See what Perfect did to the post!
:'''Tony''': ''[Hogan continues to attack Perfect]'' Actually, he was ''saved'' by the post that time, I think.
:'''Jesse''': Saved? How do you get saved hitting the post?
:'''Tony''': Well, if he hadn't hit the post, he would've gone over the top. ''[Hogan signals to another corner]'' There he goes! ''[Hogan throws Perfect out, winning the Rumble]'' YES!
:'''Jesse''': I don't believe it!
:'''Howard''': The winner of the Royal Rumble: World Wrestling Federation Champion Hulk Hogan!
:'''Tony''': ''[Hogan takes a sign from the front row and presents it to the crowd. It reads &quot;HULKAMANIA WILL LIVE FOREVER&quot;]'' YEAH! Hulkamania will live forever!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1991)|1991]] ==

:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': {{w|Sherri Martel|Sensational Queen Sherri}}, what are you doing out here tonight?
:'''Sensational Queen Sherri''': I am here to make a public challenge, Mean Gene.
:'''Mean Gene''': To whom?
:'''Sherri''': To the Ultimate Warrior, who else? Now, {{w|Sgt. Slaughter}} has promised the Macho King {{w|Randy Savage}} that, should he win the WWF Championship tonight, he has promised the Macho King that he will — that he ''will'' grant him a championship match. Now, being the honorable and brave man that we all know Sgt. Slaughter is...
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Please!
:'''Sherri''': ...there is no doubt in my mind and in my heart that Sgt. Slaughter will do nothing more than grant and come through with every promise that he has acknowledged toward the Kingdom of the Madness. I only hope that the Ultimate Warrior is as honorable as everyone seems to think that he is. However, I have my doubts. Ultimate Warrior, if you can hear me right now, which I think you can, if you are as brave and as honorable as everyone ''says'' you are, why don't you come right out here in front of everyone and accept my challenge. I kind of think he's yellow myself. I don't think you're brave, I don't think that you're even honorable. As a matter of fact, I think that you're yellow from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. Well, where you at, Warrior? Why don't you come out here? I can tell you things about your precious Ultimate Warrior...
:''[The music hits and the Ultimate Warrior walks to the stage]''
:'''Gorilla''': Uh-oh!
:'''{{w|Roddy Piper|Rowdy Roddy Piper}}''': Look out! You asked for it, you got it!
:'''Mean Gene''': What about it?
:'''Sherri''': Yeah, what about it, Warrior? You're so honorable, you're such a wonderful champion, are you willing to grant the Macho King — should you win your WWF Title tonight, should you retain — will you give the Macho King Randy Savage a title shot? No answer? You know, I've admired you for a long time, Warrior. I've looked into those great big beautiful hazel eyes. As a matter of act, I've also looked at those lips and wondered what it would be like...and also, I've always looked at your chest...''[slowly unzips the Warrior's jacket]''...and wondered what it would be like to touch your chest. As a matter of fact, I've often admired you from afar, Warrior. ''[Slides the jacket off]'' This strong, long, wide back; and your hair, it's very wonderful, I've wondered what it would be like to see the wind blowing through your hair. So what's it gonna be, Warrior? Are you honorable, are you brave, are you gonna give the Macho King a title match if you retain that belt tonight? Come on, Warrior, can't you talk to me? Come on, what's it gonna be? Come on, Warrior, can't you say something to me? ''[Leans in and quickly kisses him, to which he smiles]'' Oh, that's the most wonderful thing, the most thrilling thing that has ever happened to me. Please, as I look into your wonderful face and I know the champion that you are, and honorable man that you are, ''[sinks to her knees]'' I know that you would grant the Macho King his title shot. Come on, Warrior, aren't you gonna grant the Macho King a title match? Come on, Warrior, tell everyone what an honorable man that you are, what a brave and wonderful champion that you are, Warrior. What is it to you? Come on, aren't you gonna give the Macho King a title match? Just say yes to me, that's all I want from you. That is all I want from you, Warrior.
:''[Warrior pauses, then spits on the stage]''
:'''Ultimate Warrior''': ''[before walking away]'' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 
:'''&quot;Macho King&quot; Randy Savage''': ''[having been watching the whole interview from the dressing room, now in a rage]'' You said no! You said no! I'm gonna get him now! ''[He runs out, through the audience, onto the stage, where Sherri is irate]''
:'''Gorilla''': He said &quot;no&quot; emphatically, and look at the Macho King. Is he bent out of shape.
:'''Piper''': Can you blame him? It's like being kissed by a viper.
:'''Gorilla''': Sort of backfired for them, Rod.
:'''Piper''': Medusa's got nothing on this gal!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': I wanna make this clear right now that the views of Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan do not in any way reflect the views of the World Wrestling Federation, or the Arab-Americans, or the overwhelming majority of Arabs throughout the world, for that matter.
:'''Piper''': Well, I understand that, Gorilla, but I wanna make a point. This is America, and as much as I hate his guts, you can do what you want to in America, and Slaughter is free to do. That's why our men and women are over there now. They are fighting for the right to be free! If I don't like it, I'll get in the ring and I'll do something about it, but this is America, and that's why we're all here! God bless America!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': ''[Having just thrown Sensational Queen Sherri onto Randy Savage, the Ultimate Warrior is jumped from behind by Sgt. Slaughter]'' Oh! What a hard knee. ''[Slaughter bounces Warrior's head on the second rope, attempting to choke him, as referee Dave Hebner gives Slaughter the 5-count. Slaughter breaks at 4. Just as he does, Savage gets up and winds up his scepter]'' Wait... wait... ''[Savage crowns Warrior with the scepter]'' NO!
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, look at that! With the scepter right between the eyes! What is this, Hot Rod?!? It's 3-against-1 here!
:'''Piper''': The referee... The referee, I don't think, saw it! ''[Slaughter pries Warrior from the second rope]'' No! ''[He drops an elbow on Warrior and pins him]'' No, no, no... not like this!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[as the referee counts]'' What is this?!?
:'''Piper''': ''[The referee counts three]'' No... oh, wait a second, NOW what? No, no... they can't allow this!
:'''Gorilla''': Certainly they're not going to allow this!
:'''Piper''': No, no... some... there's going to be officials coming out here!
:'''Gorilla''': We might have had a disqualification here, I hope.
:'''Piper''': Well it's obvious! The King came out with a scepter! ''[Hebner, unsure of what to do, wanders around aimlessly]'' COME ON!
:'''Gorilla''': Everyone in the entire building saw what the Macho King did!
:'''Piper''': No, this ain't going down like this! ''[By this time, the crowd is yelling &quot;bullshit!&quot;]'' What do ya mean, &quot;What happened?&quot; What the hell do ya think happened?
:'''Gorilla''': I think the referee, in this excitement, Hot Rod, just automatically went down and made the three-count. ''[Warrior, having come to his senses, starts to stagger out of the ring]'' But I think we have a disqualification here.
:'''Piper''': I hope so. Excitement, hell! He ought to be keeping his eyes on what's going on!
:'''Gorilla''': We haven't had any official word yet.
:'''Piper''': ''[Warrior runs out of the arena, in hot pursuit of Savage]'' Where's he going?
:'''Gorilla''': I think he's going after the Macho King.
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, here is the official decision. The winner of this bout...and NEW...
:'''Gorilla and Piper''': NO! NO!
:'''Howard''': ''[as he continues, the title belt is handed to Slaughter]'' ...World Wrestling Federation Champion: Sgt. Slaughter!
:'''Piper''': Bull! Bull!
:'''Gorilla''': What a miscarriage of justice! I can't believe it!
:'''Piper''': That's bull! You're not gonna let this hang like this! I can't believe this! You puke! It took three of you!
:'''Gorilla''': I don't believe it! This is ridiculous! This is an outrage!
:'''Sgt. Slaughter''': ''[walking down the aisle, pointing to his many detractors]'' I told you!
:'''Piper''': You told us what?! You can't do nothing by yourself!
:'''Gorilla''': Well he'd better cut that thing in half, Hot Rod, and give half of it to the Macho King!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''&quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase''': ''[after Virgil drops the Million Dollar Belt in front of him]'' What do you think you're doing? You get down there, and pick that thing up right now, and you wrap it around my waist. Need I tell you, need I remind you one more time about your family? About your mother?
:'''Gorilla''': Give me a break.
:'''Piper''': Virgil, remember it just don't matter.
:'''DiBiase''': Pick it up!
:'''Piper''': Remember, Virgil, there comes a point...
:'''DiBiase''': Wrap it around my waist!
:'''Piper''': What, are you gonna need it for the rest of your life?!
:'''Gorilla''': How humiliating.
:''[Virgil drops to one knee and picks up the belt]''
:'''DiBiase''': That's right. That's right. Like I always say: ''everybody's'' got a price... ''[He is cut off by Virgil, who wallops him with the belt]''
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, he NAILED him!
:'''Piper''': YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!
:'''Gorilla''': Listen to this capacity crowd, they love it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': We don't wanna forget, being that it's a rumble, it'd be okay for {{w|Mr. Fuji|Fuji}} to deck Blubber Love.
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, I'd like to see that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': I'm still expecting #18 to show up. He's not officially out of here until the clock starts for the next participant.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, but we don't know who #18 was.
:'''Piper''': I know, but he's still got a chance to come out...maybe, I don't know, but until that clock starts again, #18 is still legal. I'm not sure...
:'''Gorilla''': ''[as the 10-second clock appears]'' I believe that is a first in the history of the Royal Rumble that the time limit ran down and nobody came through the curtain.
:'''Piper''': Too late now, 18's outta there. ''[Buzzer sounds for entry #19: {{w|Road Warrior Animal|Animal}}]'' WHOOAAA!! 
:'''Gorilla''': It's Animal from the {{w|Road Warriors|Legion of Doom}}. Well, whoever, Hot Rod, #18 was, he has forfeited his position here in the lineup, so there's no way, shape or form that he can re-enter and be victorious.
:'''Piper''': He is history, baby. If you don't got the guts, you don't belong in the building.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': How long has it been for {{w|Greg Valentine|Valentine}}?
:'''Gorilla''': Well, the Hammer has been in well over a half an hour.
:'''Piper''': What tenacity! The Model, too.
:'''Gorilla''': But you know, with Valentine, it takes fifteen minutes just to get his attention, and then he starts to get warmed up. The more you beat on him, the more he likes it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Uh-oh, we're gonna find out right now, Hot Rod, who #18 was—here comes the last entry. ''[buzzer sounds for entry #30: Tugboat]'' It's {{w|Fred Ottman|Tugboat}}.
:'''Piper''': Wait a sec.
:'''Gorilla''': That means that the Macho King was #18.
:'''Piper''': The Macho King wasn't hurt.
:'''Gorilla''': He was one of the odds-on favorites to win this thing.
:'''Piper''': I can't figure it.
:'''Gorilla''': It could be the Ultimate Warrior ran him right out of the building!
:'''Piper''': It could be! It could be. That's the only thing I can think of.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[Hulk Hogan slams Earthquake after failing to do so earlier]'' Hulk off... Yes, he got him that time!
:'''Piper''': ''[Hogan signals to the crowd]'' Throw him OUT!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[slowly, Earthquake rises to his feet]'' I can't believe this, what kind of power the Hulkster possesses... He's setting him up here, look out! ''[Hogan throws Earthquake out, winning the Rumble]'' It's over!
:'''Piper''': What a Rumble!
:'''Howard''': Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble: the Immortal Hulk Hogan!
:'''Gorilla''': Unbelievable victory by that man, Hulk Hogan! What dedication!
:'''Piper''': What guts! What a Royal Rumble!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[Hogan signals for a sign from the crowd]'' Well, Hot Rod, he wasn't going to let down our men and women in the Persian Gulf. ''[The sign says &quot;HULK RULES&quot;]'' He made a promise that he dedicated this match to all of them, and it doesn't surprise me that he's the last man in the ring.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1992)|1992]] ==

:'''{{w|Bobby Heenan|Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan}}''': Look at the New Foundation, they must've just got up.
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': What do you mean they just got up?
:'''Bobby''': They still got their pajamas on.
:'''Gorilla''': I'm going to tell them you said that.
:'''Bobby''': I don't care.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Since {{w|Ric Flair}} is the real world's champion, he shouldn't even be in the rumble. He should face the winner. That would be fair. If you want to be fair to Flair,
:'''Gorilla''': Don't start with that fair to Flair to me!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Rowdy Roddy Piper''': Well you know, what we're dealing with is one of the original Village People here, with his manager Jimmy Hart, who keeps kissing the belt leaving all that lipstick on it. I heard the Mountie out here saying, &quot;first thing I'm gonna do,&quot; pounds his chest, I don't know him, he's something. &quot;First thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take Piper's integrity!&quot; Sounds like Jacques Cousteau trying to find a dry spot in the ocean. I ain't go no damn integrity! How do think I got so far? &quot;Second thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take Roddy Piper's manhood!&quot; Huh? I come here to fight! I don't know what you come here to do! I come here to win two titles—I can't do that 'til I win the first one! I think ''you've'' been dreamin', I think it's been all wet too.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Alfred Hayes (wrestler)|Lord Alfred Hayes}}''': Tell me, Mr. Flair, how did you fare in the Royal Rumble drawing?
:'''Nature Boy Ric Flair''': Lord Alfred, I drew #3. To a lot of people out there, they'd say, &quot;my god, what a disadvantage you're going at.&quot; But look at it like this. When your name is Ric Flair, when you're the claimant to the ''real'' World Heavyweight Championship, you know that, to make everybody a believer, that I've gotta beat 29 other men; so I'll get #3, that means I'll be in there close to an hour. It makes no difference—when I walk out, I will be the World Wrestling Federation Champion, against all odds and that's the bottom line.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': And at this time, to make a brief statement prior to the Rumble’s beginning, it gives me great a great deal of pleasure to introduce to you the esteemed president of the World Wrestling Federation, Mr. {{w|Jack Tunney}}! ''[Tunney enters and the crowd boos]''
:'''Bobby''': Ol’ Jack &quot;On the Take&quot; Tunney.
:'''Gorilla''': Quiet!
:'''Jack Tunney''': Thank you very much Howard. I would like to take this opportunity to officially welcome everyone who is watching this spectacular event with us. This is a very big undertaking for the WWF. The winner of the R—uh, this event will not only have the prestige of beating 29 other men but also be declared the undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion.
:'''Bobby''': ''[impatient]'' Come on let’s go!
:'''Gorilla''': Keep your pants on.
:'''Tunney''': I would like to say, in closing, may the best man win! Thank you.
:'''Bobby''': Yeah, yeah yeah.
:'''Howard''': Thank you Mr. President.
:'''Bobby''': He’s been the best president since Noriega.
:'''Gorilla''': Will you be serious?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': There goes the buzzer
:''[The third entrant is Ric Flair]''
:'''Bobby''': NO!
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, yes!
:'''Bobby''': DAMN IT!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': That's okay. I know Perfect's got him ready. ''[Flair gives one last high-five to Mr. Perfect and enters the ring]'' He's confident.
:'''Gorilla''': Did you hear what I just said?
:'''Bobby''': What? You talking to me?
:'''Gorilla''': Yes.
:'''Bobby''': What'd you say?
:'''Gorilla''': No one ever, in the history of the Royal Rumble, has drawn numbers 1-5, and been there at the end.
:'''Bobby''': OH, SHUT UP! Take your time, Champ. Pace yourself! I'm gonna have to apologize to the people; I don't think I can be really be objective.
:'''Gorilla''': When have you ''ever'' been objective?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Flair, let {{w|Jerry Sags|Sags}} do all the work. Go over to the corner and rest, you only have two minutes...
:'''Gorilla''': You're supposed to be a broadcast journalist — be objective here.
:'''Bobby''': I told you to shut up! Leave me alone.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Back off, Ric. Let Haku do the dir... the kicking. ''[Haku attacks Flair]'' See!
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, there it is!
:'''Bobby''': What the heck are you doing, Haku? Have you gone nuts?
:'''Gorilla''': Just to show you it's every man for himself.
:'''Bobby''': Oh no, no, no!
:'''Gorilla''': ...every guy that comes out here.
:'''Bobby''': This isn't fair to Flair! There are no friends, Monsoon! Only enemies—thirty enemies!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Where's Perfect?
:'''Gorilla''': They're not allowed at ringside, Brain. You know that.
:'''Bobby''': He's not a manager, he's an executive consultant.
:'''Gorilla''': Same thing — a pest.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Shawn Michaels is making guacamole out of {{w|Tito Santana|El Matador}}.
:'''Gorilla''': He is not.
:'''Bobby''': Look at the tights; they're green.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric delivers a low blow to {{w|Davey Boy Smith|British Bulldog}}]''
:'''Gorilla''': Did you see that? Talk about desperation.
:'''Bobby''': You know what's at stake? A man'll do anything!
:'''Gorilla''': Pulling out all the stops, Ric Flair doing whatever necessary to hang in there.
:'''Bobby''': I'd do that to my own grandmother if I had to.
:'''Gorilla''': I'm sure you would.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT]''
:'''Bobby''': I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
:''[Not long after, Piper attacks Flair]''
:'''Bobby''': You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[on #19, Jimmy Snuka]'' He's jogging. He's wasting time, he's wasting energy. He's not conserving his energy or his time.
:'''Gorilla''': He's not wasting time.
:'''Bobby''': I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
:'''Gorilla''': I know you don't.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Savage with a high knee... ''[Randy Savage eliminates Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts]'' Jake is out of there!
:''[Savage leaps over the top rope (seemingly eliminating himself) to continue fighting Jake]''
:'''Bobby''': Savage is out too! Savage is out, he went over the top! He made the mistake of a lifetime!
:''[Undertaker exits to pull Savage off]''
:'''Gorilla''': {{w|The Undertaker|Undertaker}} went underneath that bottom rope, but I think the Macho Man has eliminated himself. What a mistake!
:'''Bobby''': I think he did.
:'''Gorilla''': That's what happens when your heart takes over your mind.
:'''Bobby''': You can't let your loved ones control your pocketbook.
:''[Undertaker throws him back into the ring]''
:'''Gorilla''': Well, Undertaker threw him back in, but I don't think that's gonna help him.
:''[Savage breaks free and chases down Jake]''
:'''Bobby''': Oh, I know what it is, Monsoon! Since...Savage wasn't thrown over the top rope, so that means he can go back in. No one threw him over the rope; I believe that's one of the rules of the Royal Rumble.
:'''Gorilla''': I'll have to check that out, Brain; I'll take your word for it right now.
:'''Bobby''': ''[as the Undertaker once again tosses Savage back in]'' See, the referee's letting him go back in. Somebody has to throw him out.
:'''Gorilla''': He certainly is — you have to be propelled by someone else.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[on Flair's low blow]'' He just tried to lift the Undertaker.
:'''Gorilla''': He did not.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[on Virgil]'' Don't forget, at one time, he had that Million Dollar Championship belt.
:'''Gorilla''': He certainly did.
:'''Bobby''': Of course, he stole it, but he still had it.
:'''Gorilla''': He did not!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Virgil just came out, right? #23, right?
:'''Gorilla''': Yes
:'''Bobby''': Just think, who knows how many bags he's gone through in the back!
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, will you stop?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': I'm soaking wet, I need something to drink. Hey, you, stupid, get me something to drink!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': He is right now the all-time record holder, in excess of 55 minutes. Congratulations are in order for Ric Flair.
:'''Bobby''': Give him the title, that's good enough for me!
:'''Gorilla''': No, I'm not giving him the title.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': We've only got one entry left. No secret involved here; the guy who drew #30 is gonna be coming out in five seconds. It will be no surprise—it is {{w|The Warlord (wrestler)|the Warlord}}.
:'''Bobby''': But you never know.
:''[The buzzer sounds]''
:'''Gorilla''': What do you mean, you never know?
:'''Bobby''': You never know what Tunney and the WWF'll pull on you!
:'''Gorilla''': It could only be one guy.
:'''Bobby''': ''[as #30, The Warlord enters the arena]'' I told you—the Warlord. I was right. I knew it, I was right.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[as Hogan tries to kick Flair out of the ring]'' {{w|Sid Eudy|Justice}} just watching. Flair hooking that bottom rope... ''[Sid Justice tosses Hogan out completely, eliminating Hogan and allowing Flair to inch back in]'' And look at from behind, Justice got rid of Hulk!
:'''Bobby''': Uh-oh. I don't like the looks of things now. There are no friends...
:'''Sid Justice''': ''[to Hogan, who's complaining to the referees]'' It's every man for himself, big boy!
:'''Bobby''': There are no friends, only enemies!
:'''Gorilla''': Boy, is Hulk upset. Look, he's...he's saying, &quot;you've stolen my belt!&quot; ''[Hogan grabs Sid's arm, trying to pull him out]'' Look at this! Hulkster holding on, trying to pull him out. It's Flair from behind.
:''[Hogan keeps pulling as Flair pushes Sid over the top rope onto the floor, winning the Rumble and the WWF Championship]''
:'''Bobby''': OH YES! YES! YES YES YES YES...
:'''Gorilla''': Flair did it!
:'''Bobby''': YES! YES! YES! YES! He did it! I told you, Monsoon! I told you, Monsoon! I told you, I told you! YES! YES! YES! ''[continues over Howard's announcement]'' YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I told you!
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble and undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion: Ric Flair!
:'''Gorilla''': Flair did it, I don't believe it!
:'''Bobby''': He did it! He did it! I knew he'd do it! I knew he'd do it! All you humanoids know!
:''[Hogan chases Flair out of the ring, where Mr. Perfect meets him and raises his hand down the aisle]''
:'''Gorilla''': What a man Ric Flair proved to be...
:'''Bobby''': I'm gonna meet him! I'm gonna meet him!
:'''Gorilla''': Where are you going? The Brain has just left the broadcast position to join the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, Ric Flair! ''[Hogan and Sid get into a shoving match as several officials get between them]'' And two would-be champions left inside that ring. Oh, a lot of hatred shown here as we've got all kinds of referees and WWF officials to step between these two behemoths. Look at Justice, look at the Hulkster. He said, &quot;you robbed me of my title.&quot; These guys want at each other. Terry Garvin out there, Pat Patterson, Rene Goulet, Tony Garea—I don't know whether there's enough guys out there to keep these two apart. Lot of trouble in paradise here. As the Hulkster was about to, earlier on, get rid of Ric Flair, and Justice was just standing by watching, and then from the back, flipped out the Hulkster. There are no friends in the Royal Rumble. And now there are enemies, that's for sure. Two guys who were odds-on favorites; of course, Ric Flair was a favorite as well, but drawing the number 3, well, just about said goodbye to his chances. ''[Sid exits the ring]'' But he proved everybody wrong. Everybody in the world now knows what Ric Flair can do, what kind of man he is.
:'''Sid''': Come on, shithead! Come on! I'll kill ya!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Dubbed over commentary of the above moment when shown on TV weeks later.]''
:'''Gorilla''': Take a look at Justice just hanging in the corner, biding his time here. ''[Sid eliminates Hogan from behind]'' From behind, look at this! I don't believe it! Snuck up like a thief from the night from behind and dumped the Hulkster out of there! Holy mackerel!
:'''Bobby''': Listen Monsoon, he's calling him big boy! He's rubbing it in too. I like Sid Justice! I like his style. Come on Ric!
:'''Gorilla''': Look at that, he said &quot;Every man for himself!&quot;, but yes, be a man and face the guy! At least turn around and look in your face when you dump somebody out. ''[Hogan pulls Sid's arm and Ric Flair eliminates Sid winning the match and the title]'' Look at this! Ric Flair, dumping Sid out! I don't believe it!
:'''Bobby''': YES! YES! WOOOOOOOO!!
:'''Gorilla''': It is official! I can't believe for over one hour! Ric Flair is the new World Wrestling Federation Champion!
:'''Bobby''': YES! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! YES! YES! YES! HE DID IT!
:'''Gorilla''': What a display of guts by that guy!
:'''Bobby''': And what a great move by Sid Justice to outsmart that big dummy, Hulk Hogan! YES!
:'''Gorilla''': What a creep Sid Justice turned out to be!
:'''Bobby''': Hey, I gotta go Monsoon!
:'''Gorilla''': Where are you going?
:'''Bobby''': I'm going to me the WWF World Champion! You wrap it up!
:'''Gorilla''': The Brain out of here! And look at this once again, sneaking up from behind, Sid Justice! Give me a break here! Now it's even, face to face! This is the way it should've been from the beginning.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': All right, by virtue of winning the Royal Rumble, we have a brand new World Wrestling Federation Champion. As the press watches on, at this time, to present the title belt to the new Champion, our president, the distinguished Jack Tunney.
:'''Tunney''': ''[shaking Ric's hand and handing him the title]'' Congratulations, Ric Flair, on becoming the undisputed Champion of the World Wrestling Federation.
:'''Flair''': Let me just say, after video-distorting the belt that proclaimed me the REAL world's champion, I'm gonna tell you all, with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life. When you walk around this world and you tell everybody you're #1, the only way you get to stay #1, is to be #1, and this is the only title in the wrestling world that makes you #1! When you are the king of the WWF, you rule the world! Think about it like that. Mr. Perfect, the Brain — WOO!!!
:'''Bobby''': Let's give a big one...
:'''Bobby, Perfect, and Flair''': WOOO!!!
:'''Bobby''': You did it! I was never so impressed with anything I've ever seen in all my life! He went out there for over sixty minutes, never took a bad step! Took it to Hogan, took it to the Undertaker, took it to whoever got in that ring! That's why he is — and you call him now — the real world's heavyweight champion!
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Bobby, we're not the kind of guys to say, &quot;we told you so,&quot; but we...
:'''Bobby and Perfect''': Told you so!
:'''Mean Gene''': Very good. Ric Flair, you have made World — ''[off-camera]'' put that cigarette out! — you have made World Wrestling Federation history here tonight.
:'''Flair''': It's the greatest moment of my life. I wanna jump, I wanna party, but I gotta tell you like this. For the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Mans, and the Pipers, and the Sids: now it's Ric Flair, and you all pay homage to the man! WOOO!!! I love it!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1993)|1993]] ==

:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': DiBiase, one half of the reigning WWF Tag Team Champions along with {{w|Mike Rotunda|Irwin R. Schyster}}, and now he and Ric Flair are doubling up on the former champion {{w|Bob Backlund}}.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Can you get arrested for beating up the elderly?
:'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': You know, {{w|Jerry Lawler|Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler}} is the host of ''Superstars''.
:'''Gorilla''': I thought Vince McMahon was the host of ''Superstars''.
:'''Bobby''': No, he goes and gets him coffee and stuff.
:'''Gorilla''': Will you be serious?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': I think there was a little bit more sting on the reverse knife-edges of Tenryu.
:'''Bobby''': Well, where do you think they got the word &quot;chop suey&quot;?
:'''Gorilla''': Not from that!
:'''Bobby''': Are you talking to me?
:'''Gorilla''': Forget about it. It's so deafening in here, you can barely hear yourself.
:'''Bobby''': WHAT?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Look, he's got him by his tongue!
:'''Gorilla''': That's his ''tie''. If Irwin is stupid enough to wear a tie in there, then he deserves it.
:'''Bobby''': Boy, you're gonna get audited now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Last time I saw Tugboat... Typhoon... Buffoon, whatever he is, run that fast is when they opened up a lunch line at the free buffet. 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Oh, who's coming out now?
:'''Gorilla''': Well, why don't you just wait a minute and find out?!?
:'''Bobby''': I'm sorry, I'm excited! So what? ''[the buzzer sounds]'' Is that you blowing your nose or is that the horn?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Now remember that, when a man sticks his hand out to shake hands with you, you shake it...and then kick him really hard when he's not looking.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[on Backlund]'' How long's he been in there now?
:'''Gorilla''': 46 minutes and counting!
:'''Bobby''': HOW COME YOU KNOW THIS STUFF AND NOT ME?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': {{w|Rikishi (wrestler)|Fatu}} is bye-bye!
:'''Gorilla''': Who eliminated him, Brain? There's so much going on!
:'''Bobby''': I think he threw himself out, I don't know.
:'''Gorilla''': Threw himself out? NOBODY WOULD DO THAT!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Backlund's been in there so long, when he entered the ring, his shoes were up to his knees!
:'''Gorilla''': WILL YOU STOP?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': There goes Backlund, there goes Backlund.
:'''Gorilla''': Tito Santana trying to get him outta there, and Backlund came down on the apron and scooted underneath the bottom rope.
:'''Bobby''': This guy's like a spider monkey! He just hooks onto things and you can't get him off!
:'''Gorilla''': And he got one hell of a reaction from this capacity crowd for that move.
:'''Bobby''': That was just totally out of respect. He's like a leech! I had an aunt once like that.
:'''Gorilla''': You resemble that remark.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[as Earthquake and {{w|Yokozuna (wrestler)|Yokozuna}} face-off]'' Look at this. Look at this. It's like the two Sears Towers meeting.
:'''Gorilla''': Earthquake says, &quot;let's get it on!&quot;
:'''Bobby''': And look at Yokozuna. &quot;Come on, big boy. Try to make ''me'' shake!&quot;
:'''Gorilla''': It is deafening here in the arena as we are live at the Royal Rumble!
:'''Bobby''': I see your lips moving, but I can't hear you!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Look at this. {{w|Carlos Colón, Sr.|Carlos Colon}} got &quot;The Rocket&quot; {{w|Owen Hart}} perched up there.
:'''Bobby''': No, that's Martel!
:'''Gorilla''': That's Martel, I'm sorry!
:'''Bobby''': You should be! If you can't do it right, take a hike!
:'''Gorilla''': I'm outta here.
:'''Bobby''': Don't go yet, wait a minute, I've gotta ask you another question.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Fuji's at ringside! He's waving the Japanese flag! Banzai, Macho Man!
:'''Gorilla''': Fuji with the flag from the Land of the Rising Sun.
:'''Yokozuna''': SAMOA!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Yokozuna runs to splash Savage in the corner]''
:'''Gorilla''': Fuji's saying &quot;one more time.&quot; ''[Savage gets out of the way, and Yokozuna hits the corner]'' Oh, look out! He got out of there! Savage still got something left!
:'''Bobby''': He's going up to the top rope! ''[Staggering, Yokozuna falls to the mat]'' He's down! Yokozuna's down!
:''[Savage hits the elbow on Yokozuna]''
:'''Gorilla''': Savage with the elbow. ''[Savage tries to pin Yokozuna]'' Pinfalls don't count! ''[Yokozuna pushes Savage off, over the top and to the floor, winning the Rumble]'' Oh, there you go!
:'''Bobby''': He threw him off from the floor! He pitched him from the mat over the top rope to the floor!
:'''Gorilla''': Let's go and get the official word!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble: Yokozuna!
:'''Gorilla''': Yokozuna on his way to WrestleMania IX! Caesar and Cleopatra, they will be leading the way for Yokozuna to Caesar's Palace for the big one. April 4, WrestleMania IX, Caesar's Palace.
:'''Bobby''': This man is going to become a national hero.
:'''Gorilla''': Who is going to defeat this unbelievable individual?

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1994)|1994]] ==

:''[After the WWF Tag Team Championship match, Owen is arguing with an injured {{w|Bret Hart|Bret &quot;Hit Man&quot; Hart}}]''
:'''&quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase''': Well it's... It's obvious to me that Owen Hart is blaming...
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[Owen kicks Bret in the injured leg, knocking the elder Hart down]'' Oh no!
:'''DiBiase''': HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! That's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has done all night, McMahon. As a matter of fact, that's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has ever done. I think you've just seen a major change in that man's career. He is finally waking up to the fact that he's not going to stand in the shadow of big brother anymore, because big brother wants to hog the limelight.
:'''Vince''': ''[A chorus of boos rain down on Owen as he leaves the ring]'' Can you imagine what the Hart family must be thinking back in Calgary right now? They thought we were going to see Owen and Bret, as brothers, win the Tag Team championships! Instead, they see that man right there!
:'''Owen Hart''': All he had to do was tag me, but he was too selfish to worry about me! He just worries about himself! He's gotta be a hero and fight the whole match by himself! All he had to do was tag me. I know he had a bad leg! Why didn't he just tag me?! Just tag me, Bret, but you're too damn selfish.
:'''Vince''': I can't believe those remarks!
:'''DiBiase''': ''I'' can! He hit the nail right on the head. That's exactly what I said, McMahon. That's exactly what I said, and Owen Hart has just waken up. From now on, you're gonna see a whole new attitude from that young man, and I see him going to the top.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Todd Pettengill}}''': Vince, I gotta tell you I cannot believe what I just saw. Owen, please tell me why, ''why'' this despicable act...
:'''Owen''': Why what? Why what?!
:'''Todd''': I don't understand...
:'''Owen''': You wanna know why?! Bret Hart, you're nothing but a selfish person! I went in there in a tag team match for the biggest match of my life! It was a dream come true. I thought I had the best partner in the world—my own brother. But you're too selfish, like I've said all along. Your ego is too big. You only worry about yourself, Bret. You don't care about me.
:'''Todd''': Unbelievable, in front of your entire family...
:'''Owen''': I don't care about anybody. I was concerned about myself and my whole family, the biggest opportunity of my life. I had a chance, Bret, and you stripped it away from me, you took it away from me, Bret, because you're too selfish. All you had to do was just tag me. My hand was there. Just tag me. I knew your leg was bad, I was aware of that, just tag me. But you're too ''selfish!'' You just want to put your Sharpshooter on. I could've won the match; I don't need you with a bad leg doing it, Bret. You're too damn selfish! And that's why you're sitting there with a bad leg, and that's why I kicked your leg outta your leg.
:'''Todd''': Owen, let me ask you something. You obviously cost Bret a shot at the Championship, there's no way he's gonna be able to compete in the Royal Rumble match coming up tonight. Don't you think that was selfish on ''your'' part?
:'''Owen''': There's no selfishness in me, there's not a selfish bone in my body. He cost himself the WWF Tag Team belts, and he cost me, his little brother, a guy that's never had the taste of a WWF belt before! He's done it before, he doesn't care about me, he just worries about himself. I don't care about you in the Royal Rumble, Bret, because this is my opportunity. I'm in it too. I'm not worried about ''you'' getting cost the WWF Belt. I'm worried about myself, and I'm gonna get that belt, because I didn't get a chance to win the Tag Belts because of you. But I can count on myself, and I'll take the WWF Belt. I'll win that Royal Rumble.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Undertaker''': Be not proud. The spirit of the Undertaker...lives within the soul of all mankind. The eternal flame of life...that cannot be extinguished, the origin of which...cannot be explained, the answer lies in the everlasting spirit. Soon all mankind...will witness the rebirth...of the Undertaker. ''I...will not rest...in peace...''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''DiBiase ''': You gotta remember one thing, McMahon. When it's all over, ''[the buzzer sounds]'' done and said, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, they don't care how...
:'''Vince''': ''[#6 is Bart Gunn]'' Here comes Bart. Here comes {{w|Mike Polchlopek|Bart Gunn}}!
:'''DiBiase''': ...they just wanna know who. When it's all over, ''who'' won. Not ''how'' they win, ''who'' won.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[#7 is {{w|Kevin Nash|Diesel}}]'' Look at this monster.
:'''DiBiase''': That's one big man, McMahon. Almost as big as me.
:'''Vince''': Yeah, right.
:'''DiBiase''': Hey, if I'm standing on my wallet.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[#10 is Virgil, an alternate entry, who attacks Diesel]'' What a story this would be if Virgil could dump the big man out.
:'''DiBiase''': Well, the key word there, McMahon, is &quot;alternate.&quot; ''[As he says this, Diesel eliminates Virgil]'' Virgil made his mistake long ago when he left me. See what I mean?
:'''Vince''': Who is gonna stop this huge monster in the ring?
:'''DiBiase''': Next!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After entry #25 fails to enter]''
:'''Vince''': That must have been Bret. That must be Bret Hart. That's unfortunate.
:'''DiBiase''': ''[laughs]'' A matter of opinion.
:'''Vince''': Nine men currently in the Rumble, and unfortunately it would've been ten with Bret Hart, I suppose. Bret Hart wanted to be in the Rumble; it was a dream of his to be in the Royal Rumble, to win this one, and then go on to perhaps once again be the WWF Champion. It has been a bad night for Bret Hart, one that I'm sure he will never ever forget, and a bad night for the whole Hart family.
:'''DiBiase''': Not Owen! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[as the buzzer sounds]'' The ring is really filling up with humanity now. Who is it? Who is it? ''[Entry #27 is, limping to the ring...]'' It's Bret Hart! It's Bret Hart!
:'''DiBiase''': I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! I'll tell you what. I'll tell you, McMahon, that's sure...he's sure showing a lot of guts!
:'''Vince''': Look at that determination! Look at that determination!
:'''DiBiase''': Yeah, look how stupid he is for risking this after he'd been hurt so bad! There's a lot of guts, but no brains at all!
:'''Vince''': I don't know what Bret can do in the ring, in the Royal Rumble, if he can do anything. But I'll tell you, if he doesn't do anything, I'll give that man credit for returning. What gumption, what guts on the part of Bret Hart.
:'''DiBiase''': I don't know what you're seeing, McMahon. I give him credit for being stupid. He's out there risking what could be his career with a severe injury, just to prove to all these people that he's got guts.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[Lex Luger has Bret Hart up in position for elimination]'' And {{w|Lex Luger|Luger}} has Bret up! And, no. ''[Bret escapes]''
:'''DiBiase''': No.
:'''Vince''': ''[Both men go over the top rope]'' It's Luger, I think... Luger threw... Luger threw Bret Hart out!
:'''DiBiase''': Well... I don't know. I don't... know. Where's the referee?
:'''Vince''': Luger... Luger - I believe, I'm not sure - threw Bret Hart out.
:'''DiBiase''': I hate to say it; I think Bret Hart threw ''Luger'' out! 
:'''Vince''': ''[Referees Joey Marella and Earl Hebner confer amongst themselves]'' Well, a discussion going on. Let's, uh... let's get the ring announcement. Here we go. Let's get... let's get the official word. Let's go now to get the official word from the ring announcer, as to who won the Royal Rumble.
:'''DiBiase''': Absolutely. The referees are still thinking about it.
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble...
:'''Vince''': ''[Luger's music plays]'' Yes sir, it's Luger! What an ovation!
:'''DiBiase''': ''[Meanwhile, Hebner is yelling something to Howard]'' I don't know, McMahon. I don't know.
:'''Vince''': ''[Suddenly, Luger's music is cut off]'' Wait a minute, wait a minute... the music has stopped. ''[The two referees are conferencing with Howard]'' There's more discussion going on. ''[Hebner says something to Howard, and he prepares to make another announcement]'' Uh-oh. I think there's... Let's go up. There's another announcement to be made.
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble... ''[This time, Hart's music plays]''
:'''Vince''': Well, it must be the &quot;Hit Man&quot; Bret Hart! 
:'''DiBiase''': Wow.
:'''Vince''': And he's back on his feet.
:'''DiBiase''': Wait a minute, McMahon, who won this thing? I don't think they can make up their minds. First Luger's music plays, ''[Hart's music is cut off]'' then Hart's music... they stopped it again.
:'''Vince''': Well the announcer has yet to announce exactly who won the Royal Rumble.
:'''DiBiase''': Look, the referees are arguing, they can't make up their mind. I don't think they know.
:'''Vince''': ''[Marella and Hebner take turns holding one of the wrestlers' arms up in victory]'' I've never seen this before.
:'''DiBiase''': Well, what happens NOW?!?
:'''Vince''': I think... I think, uh, the official on the left believes Bret Hart won. ''[Hebner holds Hart's arm up, while Marella holds Luger back]'' Both men went out, I guess, at approximately the same time. It was tough from our viewpoint. I thought... ''[Suddenly, WWF president Jack Tunney enters the ring]'' Wait a minute; there's president Jack Tunney.
:'''DiBiase''': I think Luger won, McMahon.
:'''Vince''': I think I'm going to agree with you, but I'm not sure. ''[Tunney steps between the two referees]'' All right, Jack Tunney between the officials. Let's go back if we have a replay; I don't know. If we have it, let's see what we can... Jack Tunney will have to make a decision here, but let's... ''[The screen shows a replay of the finish]'' Here we go. We're going to see it; here we go now. And over they go and... I don't know.
:'''DiBiase''': Wow, I don't know.
:'''Vince''': ''[Back to live action]'' I don't know. I thought it was Luger at first, but I'm not too sure after that. I'm not too sure.
:'''DiBiase''': I think it was Luger, McMahon. Luger's longer-legged.
:'''Vince''': Let's take another look at it, if we have it. If we have another angle... ''[The screen shows another angle of the finish]'' While Jack Tunney's making up his mind, you make up yours. And we go out and it's...
:'''DiBiase''': Here we go. Luger!
:'''Vince''': No, that was Bret, I think.
:'''DiBiase''': ''[Back live]'' No, I think it was Luger. ''[Tunney is talking to Howard]'' What are they doing?
:'''Vince''': Jack Tunney discussing things with the officials. No one has left this building. We are awaiting the announcement.
:'''DiBiase''': Well, when Tunney sticks his nose in this, you never know what's gonna happen.
:'''Vince''': Well, Tunney has to make a decision here, and this must be the toughest decision he'll ever make.
:'''DiBiase''': I'm telling you, Luger won it.
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble... ''[Howard stops and goes to Tunney]''
:'''Vince''': Oh, wait a minute...
:'''DiBiase''': They can't figure it out!
:'''Vince''': Give me a break. Who won this thing? I thought for sure it was Luger, but I'm not too sure after those replays. We saw a number of angles.
:'''DiBiase''': I think he oughta ring the bell and just let them beat each other to the ground. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
:'''Vince''': Well, the tension is building here at the Providence Civic Center! The tension is building here!
:'''DiBiase''': I'm telling ya, I think Luger won it.
:'''Vince''': Let's go back to another replay! ''[The screen shows another replay]'' This will be the one that will determine who won! Here we go! And...
:'''DiBiase''': It looks like it, you see?!? It's Luger! I'm telling ya, Luger's feet hit the ground first.
:'''Vince''': ''[Back live]'' Let's go back. Here we go.
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble... ''[pauses for a moment, with Bret yelling, &quot;Come on! Speak up!&quot;, until finally...]'' the winners are Lex Luger and Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart!
:'''Vince''': ''[The &quot;WrestleMania&quot; theme plays]'' What?
:'''DiBiase''': Oh, no.
:'''Vince''': Well, Jack Tunney may have made the only decision that he could make after those replays certainly... It was most inconclusive from our vantage point. However...
:'''DiBiase''': But, McMahon...
:'''Vince''': The question remains...
:'''DiBiase''': Exactly.
:'''Vince''': Who's gonna... Who will go to ''Wrestlemania'' and face the WWF Champion? Will Bret Hart get the nod from Jack Tunney? Will Lex Luger get the nod from Jack Tunney?

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1995)|1995]] ==

:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please! Due to the inability of the official...
:'''Vince McMahon''': Put that chair down!
:'''Howard''': ''[cont'd]''... to maintain control of this contest, he has declared this match a draw!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Can you believe this? The Heartbreak Kid drew #1! Well, you can bet Shawn Michaels won't be going to WrestleMania as the #1 contender. Michaels fooled everybody on the Action Zone earlier on—Michaels acted like he was proud of his number. It's the luck of the draw, and Shawn Michaels very unlucky here tonight at the Royal Rumble, and Michaels better get all the glory he can right now. ''[As Shawn dances off his gear in the ring]'' Oh, please, give me a break.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Let me just tell you this, McMahon. He loves being the #1 draw because of what he's doing right now. It means that it's just all that much longer he gets to strut his stuff in front of {{w|Pamela Anderson}}. But don't get your hopes up, Shawn. She might accompany him to WrestleMania, but she'll be accompanying me tonight.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[on entry #5, {{w|Jimmy Del Ray}}]'' I like this guy. I like him.
:'''Vince''': You like him?
:'''Jerry''': Yes.
:'''Vince''': Well, is he gonna win the Rumble?
:'''Jerry''': I don't like him that much.
:'''Vince''': Who do... you don't like him that much.
:'''Jerry''': I told you I've already gone on record, I started... I did wanna change my prediction. I went on record as predicting Shawn Michaels, but when I saw he drew #1, I thought about changing it.
:'''Vince''': To whom? Who would you choose?
:'''Jerry''': I'll tell you later.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[on #7, {{w|Tom Prichard}}]'' I love this guy.
:'''Vince''': You like him?
:'''Jerry''': Yes.
:'''Vince''': Is he gonna win the Royal Rumble?
:'''Jerry''': I don't like him that much either.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Is Dink in there?
:'''Vince''': Of course not. You would see him, wouldn't you?
:'''Jerry''': No, you can't see him. He gets lost in shag carpet.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Look at {{w|Luke Williams (wrestler)|Luke the Bushwhacker}}—he's heading back already, but he stayed longer than he was in in 1991. He only lasted 4.9 seconds then.
:'''Vince''': What, have you got a stopwatch on?
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, look at this. See Mickey's hand?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[#16 is Mo]'' Oh no. It's Mo.
:'''Vince''': It's {{w|Mo (wrestler)|Mo}} from Men on a Mission. ''[Mo enters the ring, charges {{w|King Kong Bundy}}, and gets backdropped over the top to the floor, getting eliminated]''
:'''Jerry''': WHOO HOO HOO! WHOO HOO HOO! Look at my watch! Mo was on a mission, wasn't he? He just broke Luke's record! Ha ha ha ha! What did he last? One second?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': One of these men that you're looking at right now, one of them, and only one, will go to WrestleMania and face the WWF Champion, whomever he may be, and being escorted by Pamela Anderson.
:'''Jerry''': Woo, yeah!
:'''Vince''': And she is impressed, unquestionably...
:'''Jerry''': Look, she waved at me! Wink at me, baby!
:'''Vince''': She wasn't winking at you.
:'''Jerry''': Yes, she was.
:'''Vince''': And you don't have a date with her either.
:'''Jerry''': She loves me. I do! I'm telling you I do. I'll tell you all about it, maybe.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Shawn Michaels and Crush, they're my picks...and Lex Luger.
:'''Vince''': Make up your mind. Only one man can win.
:'''Jerry''': Last year, two won.
:'''Vince''': Yeah, that was the first time that ever happened; I would suggest the ''only'' time it'll ever happen. Never again will two men go out at the same time, and have their feet touch the floor at the very same time with both feet. I don't think that'll ever happen.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': I can't believe we're back where we started!
:'''Vince''': Never before have the first two individuals who have entered the Rumble lasted to the last two! And Michaels just... Can you believe that? Davey Boy kicked him back ''into'' the ring.
:'''Jerry''': You gotta keep your feet on the mat, Shawn.
:''[The British Bulldog presses Michaels above him and racks him on the top rope]
:'''Vince''': He's outta here, see ya! ''[Bulldog swings Michaels back into the ring]'' And again, though, Davey Boy, the momentum bringing Shawn Michaels back in...''[Bulldog clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, seemingly winning the Rumble]'' Forget about it! Forget about it! Michaels has been eliminated! Yes! Yes, it finally has happened! ''[Bulldog's music plays]'' It finally has happened! The British Bulldog will go to WrestleMania and face the WWF... ''[As Bulldog celebrates in the corner, Michaels nails him from behind, sending him over and onto the floor, winning the Rumble]'' Wait a minute.
:'''Jerry''': What's the deal?
:'''Vince''': Wait just a minute!
:'''Jerry''': My prediction is true! They're saying that Shawn Michaels has won the Royal Rumble!
:'''Vince''': Michaels was eliminated by the British Bulldog! Let's go to the announcer to clear it up.
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that ''only one'' of Shawn Michaels' feet hit the floor.
:'''Vince''': What?
:'''Howard''': ''[cont'd]'' Therefore, the winner of the 1995 WWF Royal Rumble: The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!
:'''Vince''': Wait a minute, we have a replay. We're told we have a replay. Shawn Michaels, ladies and gentlemen, has won this thing. I can't believe it. Let's go to the replay, let's take a look. ''[The slow-motion replay from the side shows the British Bulldog clotheslining Michaels out of the ring]'' Well, there it is, right there, the clothesline, he goes over. He's on the apron, he's hanging onto the ropes, and he's... he's... ''[Michaels holds onto the ropes, flailing his left leg from one side to the other, only allowing his right foot to touch the floor, which referees Tim White and Earl Hebner see]''
:'''Jerry''': One.
:'''Vince''': One foot, one foot.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Michaels finally rests his left leg on the ring, both referees call off the announcement. Michaels rolls back in]'' Look at that! Whoa, whoa!
:'''Vince''': One foot. One...foot!
:'''Jerry''': There it is! Two referees! Not one, but two referees.
:'''Vince''': All right, let's go back, ladies and gentlemen. There you have it! Shawn Michaels, being escorted by Pamela Anderson. And Pamela Anderson will lead Shawn Michaels into the ring at WrestleMania!
:'''Jerry''': She is almost as happy right now as she's gonna look with me later on. Look at her. Well, see? She's gonna have some explaining to do to me later on.
:'''Vince''': Shawn Michaels, ladies and gentlemen. But Pamela Anderson, she doesn't know what quite to make of Shawn Michaels, her boy toy. She wants to get out of there. Nonetheless, she will escort Shawn Michaels to WrestleMania, and Michaels will face the champion! Can you believe this? Michaels, the first man in, and the last man standing.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1996)|1996]] ==
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[after {{w|Goldust}} reverses a waistlock on {{w|Scott Hall|Razor Ramon}} and caresses him, who is instantly freaked out]'' I can't believe what I just saw.
:'''Vince McMahon''': That was a little different.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Maybe Goldust got what he wanted out of this match already.
:'''Vince''': Oh no, I think this man is cagey, very crafty
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Ten-yard penalty for illegal use of the hands.
:...
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Is he gonna check him for a hernia next?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Henry Godwinn has emptied a bucket of slop on everyone outside the ring]''
:'''Vince''': {{w|Triple H|Hunter Hearst-Helmsley}} covered in slop, Backlund covered in slop, here comes the King, he got some of it too.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': There's no place for that stinking slop! I think I'm at a Gallagher concert!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Will it be Yokozuna? Will it be the man they call {{w|Big Van Vader|Vader}}?
:'''Mr. Perfect''': I gotta stick with Vader.
:'''Vince''': And {{w|Savio Vega}} could very well win this thing.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': I learned a lot time ago, McMahon, you never make a redhead mad.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[on entry #21, Aldo Montoya]'' He's got his jock on the wrong part of his body.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[#24 is Steve Austin]'' He's the winner right there, McMahon. I pick him.
:'''Vince''': And there's a good look, ladies and gentlemen, at {{w|Stone Cold Steve Austin|Steve Austin}}, known as the Ringmaster, on his way. Another Corporate member of Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Corporation, and you can bet he's definitely gonna make a difference.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Look at this guy, McMahon. The Ringmaster—close enough to perfect for me. He gets my vote right now. Look at the shape this guy's in, look at how aggressive he is, look at how good he looks, reminds me of me so much.
:'''Vince''': He is cold and calculating for sure.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[#25 is {{w|Barry Horowitz}}]'' It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's Barry Horriblewitz.
:'''Vince''': Call him what you will. Barry Horowitz could very well win this thing—anyone can win.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': If a nerd ends up at WrestleMania and gets the World Wrestling Federation Champion, ''I'm'' getting back in the ring.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Almost anyone would do anything to win this year's Royal Rumble matchup.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': If Horowitz wins this match, I quit. You'll never see me again.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[as Diesel clotheslines {{w|Charles Wright (wrestler)|Kama}} out of the ring, eliminating him]'' It's gonna be Diesel, no doubt about it.
:'''Vince''': Kama eliminated! It's Diesel, it's Michaels...
:''[Shawn superkicks Diesel out of the ring, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Mr. Perfect''': NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! TWO YEARS IN A ROW! That's impossible, McMahon! Impossible!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1996 World Wrestling Federation Royal Rumble: &quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels!
:'''Vince''': ''[over announcement]'' Shawn Michaels is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Mr. Perfect''': How does he do that?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart has been disqualified...
:'''Vince''': Aw, come on.
:'''Howard''': ''[cont'd]'' ...as a result of outside interference by Diesel. Therefore, the winner of this match: the Undertaker!
:'''Vince''': Diesel coming in, blatantly interfering; the Undertaker wants the WWF Championship around his waist. ''[On Diesel]'' Look at that steely cold look on the face.
:'''Howard''': However, the World Wrestling Federation Championship can ''not'' change hands on a disqualification.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Oh, boy.
:'''Vince''': ''[as Diesel cracks a little smile]'' And no one knows that better than that man right there.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Yes, that look says it all.
:'''Vince''': It does, the Undertaker... ''[Diesel gives the Undertaker the finger]'' Wait, look what Diesel just did!
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Oh, come on!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': The Undertaker had piledrived Bret Hart!
:'''Mr. Perfect''': He had him beat!
:'''Vince''': But you'll never know whether or not Bret would've been pinned by the Undertaker.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Of course he'd have been pinned!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1997)|1997]] ==

:'''Goldust''': ''[to HHH]'' Come on, you piece of shit!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I've been sitting here counting, I'm up to about 54. Why doesn't the referee count Goldust out?
:'''Jim Ross''': Why don't you ask these questions to Monsoon? He's in charge of the officials. We can't answer those questions, King.
:'''Vince McMahon''': Maybe it's because you would want to be assigned as a guest referee on occasion.
:'''Jim''': That'd be a good idea.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, you're right. I'd have already disqualified Goldust.
:'''Jim''': You'd be the {{w|Red Cashion}} of the WWF.
:'''Jerry''': What? Who?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[as {{w|Ahmed Johnson}} scoops {{w|Brian Adams (wrestler)|Crush}} out of the ring]'' Taking it to Crush, and throwing him out. He's gone! Crush is gone!
:''[Crush lands on the edge and rolls back in]''
:'''Jerry''': Feet didn't hit, did they?
:'''Vince''': You're right.
:'''Jim''': That's why the referees are on the outside. No reason for them to be on the ''inside'' of the ring.
:'''Vince''': Both feet- ''[Johnson leaves the ring (going over the top rope and eliminating himself in the process) to attack {{w|Ron Simmons|Faarooq}}]'' wait a minute, wait a minute, Ahmed just eliminated himself! There's Faarooq! Ahmed going after Faarooq! Ahmed eliminated himself, and Crush is in the ring all alone!
:'''Jerry''': He ''is'' an idiot.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin eliminates Bart Gunn]'' The first time Bart held on, the second time he couldn't. And once again, Stone Cold Steve Austin is picking 'em off one at a time.
:'''Vince''': ''[as Austin, all by himself, does push-ups in the ring]'' Look at this. Please.
:'''Jim''': And he's telling us all he's in great shape. He's in fightin' shape.
:'''Vince''': He's in great condition, all right.
:'''Jim''': I'm sure he's been in a few barroom brawls.
:'''Vince''': ''[Austin now sits on the top corner]'' Look at this, patiently awaiting the next individual to come out. You talk about a man with a nasty temperament. ''[Austin looks at his wrist like a watch]'' Well, his watch is working as well as ours.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[#13 is Owen Hart]'' Oh, no, it's Bret Hart's &quot;stinking rotten&quot; brother, as Bret would say...
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Vince''': ...Owen Hart.
:'''Jim''': You mean the whiner? He whines about everything.
:'''Jerry''': Listen to you guys, he's a Slammy Award winner!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[as Bulldog attempts to eliminate Austin]'' Austin's going for the ride!
:'''Jerry''': Yes!
:''[As this happens, Owen eliminates the Bulldog, and Austin avoids hitting the floor himself]''
:'''Vince''': Hey, wait a minute.
:'''Jim''': I think that was Owen who eliminated Bulldog.
:'''Vince''': ''[as Owen and Bulldog argue]'' Owen Hart trying to... the Bulldog is angry.
:'''Jim''': Bulldog just called Owen an idiot!
:'''Vince''': They're tag team partners, they're Tag Team Champions!
:'''Jim''': They're brother-in-laws!
:'''British Bulldog''': He flipped me out!
:'''Jerry''': So what, you whiner. It's every man for himself.
:'''Vince''': I understand that, although Owen was professing that it was an accident. He was...
:'''Jerry''': Probably was.
:'''Vince''': ...attempting to get Stone Cold Steve Austin out.
:'''Jim''': Owen hasn't told the truth since the King was a prince.
:'''Jerry''': Oh listen to you now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[on #20, {{w|Road Dogg|&quot;Double J&quot; Jesse James}}]'' The guy's a promising young singer, I wish he'd promise to stop singing.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Stone Cold Steve Austin, and you gotta get credit where it's due. You may not like Stone Cold, you may not like his attitude, but Austin is a competitor.
:'''Jim''': While these 60,000+ fans I'm assuming appreciate Austin's intensity, they certainly do not appreciate his attitude.
:'''Vince''': Who will be next? Who will face Stone Cold Steve Austin in less than ten seconds?
:'''Jerry''': The quicker he can eliminate them, the more time he has to rest. ''[Time expires; #21 is Bret Hart. Austin is shocked at Bret's music.]'' Uh-oh.
:'''Vince''': YES! YES! YES!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Watch this. ''[Time expires, and Jerry Lawler's music plays, revealing that he is #22]'' Oh, yeah! Hey, McMahon, watch this, baby! 
:'''Vince''': I can't believe it! You ''are'' in it! 
:'''Jerry''': ''[removing his jacket and headset]'' I said it once, and I'll say it again—it takes a king!
:'''Vince''': Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler sneaking up behind the Hitman Bret Hart!
:''[Bret turns his attention from Austin to Jerry. Punches him twice, the second one sending Jerry flying over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him]''
:'''Jim''': I think we just saw a record broken! I think Lawler has just broken the record!
:'''Vince''': I think you just said it takes a king...
:'''Jerry''': ''[putting headset back on]'' To know a king, McMahon! I told you!
:'''Jim''': Told us what?
:'''Jerry''': It takes a king to know a king!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Bret Hart thought this morning, when I talked to him on ''Superstars'', that he shouldn't even have to ''be'' in this matchup, that he should've come into the Royal Rumble as the WWF Champion.
:'''Jerry''': He shouldn't have even ''been'' in this matchup!
:'''Jim''': That's what I just said.
:'''Jerry''': Not because he should be the champion, it's because he shouldn't even be in the WWF! He's a jerk!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': The Hitman is concentrating on Stone Cold. If it comes down to the Hitman and Stone Cold, I say it'll be the Hitman; if it comes down to {{w|Terry Funk}} and Vader, Vader.
:'''Vince''': Stone Cold Steve Austin has been in the ring for over forty minutes.
:'''Jerry''': If it comes down to Undertaker and anybody, Undertaker.
:'''Jim''': I'll tell you, I cannot imagine the fatigue, the exhaustion that must be riveting the body of Stone Cold Steve Austin after forty minutes of hell with these guys.
:'''Jerry''': I'm not even tired.
:'''Jim ''': You must have amnesia.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': {{w|Mick Foley|Mankind}} and Funk on the far side, they're just mauling each other.
:'''Jerry''': That's a shame. I think they're doing it 'cause they like it. I'd just like to see Mankind and Terry Funk as a team.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Good-bye Austin! ''[Bret has thrown Austin out, seemingly eliminating him. The referees fail to notice, distracted by Mankind and Terry Funk brawling]''
:'''Vince''': Austin's been eliminated! 
:'''Jim''': Austin... ''wait'' a minute... 
:'''Vince''': He was in there for 34 minutes!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Austin sneaks back into the ring]'' Well the referees didn't see it.
:'''Vince''': Austin has been eliminated. ''[Austin eliminates the Undertaker and Vader]'' Wait a minute, the Undertaker and Vader have both just been eliminated! ''[Bret eliminates {{w|Kane (wrestler)|&quot;Diesel&quot;}}]'' Diesel's been eliminated as well! And now it's over! ''[From behind, Austin throws out Bret, winning the Rumble]'' Oh, no! NO! ''[The bell sounds]''
:'''Jim''': Wait a minute here.
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is the winner of the 1997 Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jerry''': He eliminated the Hitman! I didn't actually see Austin's feet hit the floor!
:'''Jim''': ''[As Austin leaves, Bret enters the rings berating the referees]'' Austin eliminated the Undertaker and Vader and Bret Hart, but Austin went out! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold and the referees didn't see it, and Bret Hart is not gonna stand for it!
:'''Jerry''': Maybe his feet didn't hit the floor, Ross.
:'''Jim''': I saw it! I was sitting right here, King! I didn't even see the monitors!
:'''Vince''': Imagine Bret Hart...imagine what's going on in his mind. Stone Cold was eliminated—we saw it, we called it—the officials were over there with Mankind and Terry Funk and didn't see it.
:'''Jim''': Bret Hart's obsession with winning the WWF Title is so evident! Bret cannot believe it! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold, and neither referee saw it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': You want to talk championships, you gotta be talking about the World Wrestling Federation championship, in a match that Bret Hart wishes that he was in and apparently it looks like it just won't happen. And you can hear everyone booing. A very unpopular decision, the way that Stone Cold Steve Austin &quot;won&quot; the Royal Rumble.
:'''Jim''': Well quite frankly, it was a...I don't wanna say it was a bad call. Both officials were on one side of the ring. That's bad officiating, folks! That's why we have two officials. The referees were out of position. Bret Hart's got a very legitimate gripe.
:'''Jerry''': Please stop whining! It's the referee's decision! The decision's been made and it's final. How many times have you watched a baseball game or a football game, and the replay shows something different from what the referee saw? It's over!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1998)|1998]] ==

:'''Road Dogg Jesse James''': Just like your precious {{w|San Francisco 49ers|49ers}}, your precious LOD is about to become a part of history as well. Steve Young will play a major role in the Super Bowl this year—he'll be the one telling his fat wife to fetch him another brewski.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Look at the idiots that are in this ring right now: {{w|Terry Funk|Chainsaw}}, {{w|Charles Warrington|Mosh}}, {{w|Mick Foley|Cactus Jack}}. I feel like calling ''Unsolved Mysteries'' and saying, &quot;hey, I found everybody.&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[#6 is {{w|Dennis Knight|Phineas Godwinn}}]'' He's 6'7&quot;, 300+ pounds, he's about a biscuit away from 315. It's Phineas Godwinn — living proof of what happens when first cousins marry.
:'''Jerry''': I'm gonna tell you something — we're fixin' to have five WWF Superstars in the ring and only one brain between them, and that's in the head of {{w|Dwayne Johnson|The Rock}}.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[#20 is Ahmed Johnson]'' Ahmed Johnson, I guess he's the only man to compete in the Royal Rumble wearing earrings.
:'''Jerry''': What a fashion statement. If he was a little smarter, he'd know how stupid that looks.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Remember what's at stake: the opportunity to wrestle the WWF Champion at the biggest event in the industry, the biggest event of all time, [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania XIV (1998)|WrestleMania XIV]] in Boston.
:'''Jerry''': ''[laughing]'' Right, and that rug has been yanked right out from under Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': If...that's the truth, that's gonna be a heartbreaker for the ol' rattlesnake.
:'''Jerry''': Brought it on himself. ''[Buzzer sounds, signaling entrant #24. Austin's music blares]'' What?!
:'''Jim''': ''[as all wrestlers stop fighting and look toward the entrance]'' Stone Cold...that's Austin's music. The action has stopped, everyone is awaiting the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Jerry''': Look out, he's from behind! ''[Austin comes in the ring from behind, attacks {{w|Marc Mero}} and eliminates him]''
:'''Jim''': Austin came from the crowd! There goes Mero! Stone Cold is like a man possessed!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': We're getting right down to the nitty gritty. Who's #28? The luck of the draw has everything to do with his. ''[Buzzer sounds, signaling entrant #28: Dude Love]'' What?!
:'''Jerry''': Oh no!
:'''Jim''': I don't believe it!
:'''Jerry''': I don't wanna believe it!
:'''Jim''': Mrs. Foley's baby boy is pulling a triple-header!
:'''Jerry''': Somebody knock his head off!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[as Austin stuns the Rock]'' Stone Cold Stunner! And the Rock... ''[Austin tosses the Rock out, winning the Rumble]'' ...IS GONE! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is the winner of the 1998 Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': Iron Mike Tyson on his feet cheering for Austin 3:16! Stone Cold will meet the WWF Champion at WrestleMania XIV!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Kane and Paul Bearer have set the casket with the Undertaker inside on fire.]''
:'''Jim''': MY GOD!! THE CASKET'S ON FIRE!! THE CASKET'S ON FIRE!!! THAT CASKET IS ON FIRE!! THE UNDERTAKER IS IN THAT CASKET!!!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (1999)|1999]] ==

:'''The Rock''': Now you tell the Rock, after the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, that you quit!
:'''Mankind''': Go to Hell, Rock!
:...
:'''The Rock''': Say you quit!
:'''Mankind''': You'll have to kill me.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Michael Cole}}''': Only [[w:Shawn Michaels|one other man]] in the history of the Royal Rumble has gone from #1 to win it all—Stone Cold is gonna try to become #2. There is only one Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Well that's true, but let me just tell you this. You like to talk about history, I venture to say there is only one WWF Superstar that is gonna be in this very ring tonight that has ''never'' ever lost a match in his life.
:'''Michael''': And who is that?
:'''Jerry''': That is Mr. McMahon.
:'''Michael''': Oh, please, he's never had one.
:'''Jerry''': He's never lost a match in his life! Shut up!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[on entrant #6: {{w|Gillberg (wrestler)|Gillberg}}]'' It's the man called Gillberg.
:'''Jerry''': He could win this whole thing.
:'''Michael''': King, you're not serious.
:'''Jerry''': Well, maybe not.
:'''Michael''': Gillberg is 0-2. Who will be #1? Who will be his first victim? He's spending more time posing in the walkway than he is getting in the ring.
:'''Jerry''': He's got chants.
:'''Michael''': ''[as Gillberg screams out at the crowd]'' Well, Gillberg now in the Royal Rumble match. And {{w|Edge (wrestler)|Edge}}...
:''[Edge, with very little effort, pushes Gillberg out, eliminating him]'' 
:'''Jerry''': Ah, Gillberg!
:'''Michael''': Oh, please. Gillberg is in and out. So I guess we can say that Gillberg is 0-3 now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': {{w|Droz (wrestler)|Droz}} and Edge have been in the ring a long time. The longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out; and the object is to go over the top rope and both feet hit the floor, and Tiger's in danger of having a quick exit.
:'''Jerry''': Wait a minute, the longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out.
:'''Michael''': Yeah, the more tired you get.
:'''Jerry''': What about the man called Gillberg?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': First off, you picked {{w|Steve Blackman}} to win the Rumble match, he's been eliminated; you also picked {{w|Gangrel (wrestler)|Gangrel}} to win the Rumble match, you still have a chance to make a little money.
:'''Jerry''': Well, I know I picked Blackman. That damn Psychic Network lied to me.
:'''Michael''': Did they give you the tip on Gangrel as well? And here's Gangrel...
:'''Jerry''': I'll never listen to Dionne Warwick again. She's an idiot.
:'''Michael''': ...who almost won the European Championship match in a great match against X-Pac earlier tonight.
:'''Jerry''': I'm calling LaToya Jackson.
:'''Michael''': Gangrel on the ropes now. Road Dogg... ''[Road Dogg launches Gangrel out of the ring, eliminating him]'' ...sends Gangrel for the ride. Road Dogg is cleaning house! Hey, King. Hey, King. You're 0-2.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[The Rock is calling out Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Jerry''': Get him, Rock! Get him! ''[The Rock climbs up to the apron and the two fight]'' Here he goes. I knew it!
:'''Michael''': Here we go now! They're getting it on! ''[Seeing this, Mr. McMahon, with the help of the Rock...]'' Wait a minute!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Michael''': ''[...throws Austin out, winning the Rumble]'' Wait a minute! NO! NO! Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble!
:'''Howard Finkel''': ''[Over Cole speaking]'' The winner of the 1999 Royal Rumble: Mr. McMahon!
:'''Jerry''': I KNEW IT! HAHAHAHAHA!
:'''Michael''': Mr. McMahon has eliminated the Rattlesnake thanks to the Rock! Mr. McMahon will face the Rock at WrestleMania, and Austin is livid!
:'''Jerry''': ''[Austin and the Rock fight all the way to the backstage area]'' Look at this!
:'''Michael''': And Austin taking out his frustrations on the champion! Austin is beating the hell out of the champion!
:'''Jerry''': But right now, Michael Cole, it doesn't matter! This is, without a doubt, the greatest night in the history of the World Wrestling Federation!
:'''Michael''': Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble match! I never thought I'd ever hear myself say that! Somebody slap me in the face!
:'''Jerry''': Here!
:'''Michael''': Is this a dream?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shane McMahon''': Vince, you just won the Royal Rumble! YOU'RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': King, he didn't do it by himself; he had plenty of help. He sat here at ringside for most of the damn match!
:'''Jerry''': I don't care how he did it. He won the Royal Rumble!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2000)|2000]] ==

:'''Jim Ross''': ''[as Triple H and Cactus Jack brawl in the audience during their Street Fight]'' Cactus Jack and Triple H are in a sea of humanity here!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Humanity? But this is New York City, J.R.!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[as {{w|Viscera (wrestler)|Viscera}} enters the Rumble, facing Rikishi]'' This is the old unstoppable meeting the immovable, and they're both unliftable.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Have you seen {{w|Matt Bloom|Albert's}} tongue? It's pierced, have you seen that?
:'''Jim''': I have not looked at his tongue or any other parts of his anatomy that closely, quite frankly.
:'''Jerry''': He told me that piercing didn't hurt, but then he showed me one that did.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Can we see that poor Chinese guy {{w|Taka Michinoku}} get thrown over the top rope again?
:'''Jim''': He's Japanese!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': {{w|Shoichi Funaki|Funaki's}} eliminated for about the eighth time tonight.
:'''Jerry''': At least he had a good view there for a second.
:'''Jim''': Funaki's been eliminated more times than any other Royal Rumble competitor.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Taka had to be taken to a hospital.
:'''Jerry''': Do they have some good Chinese hospitals in New York?
:'''Jim''': Will you stop that?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': My god, what a chokeslam! {{w|Big Show (wrestler)|The Big Show}} trying to break the Rock into pieces with a chokeslam!
:'''Jerry''': He told this crowd, he's telling the world, &quot;You WILL cheer for me!&quot; He said he has the Rock and he's going to win the Royal Rumble and the people will have to cheer him.
:'''Jim''': Nobody can go one-on-one, face-to-face, man-to-man, with the Big Show and survive. ''[Big Show picks Rock up as the crowd chants &quot;Rocky&quot;]'' The Rock just seconds away from being eliminated here! It's over now, King!
:'''Jerry''': Oh... good-bye Rock. I told you I was picking the Big Show.
:'''Jim''': The Big Show is toying with the Rock.
:'''Jerry''': He's picking his... picking his sides. ''[Big Show attempts to throw Rock out]'' There he goes!
:'''Jim''': ''[Suddenly the Rock grasps the top rope. The momentum carries the Big Show out. The Rock holds on to the top rope, winning the Rumble]'' OH THE BIG SHOW'S OVER!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?
:'''Jim''': THE ROCK! THE ROCK HAS WON THE RUMBLE!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT? How did THAT happen? How did the Rock do it?
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner: the Rock!
:'''Jim''': How in God's name did THAT happen? It looked like the Big Show is gonna eliminate the Rock!
:'''Jerry''': I knew that the Rock would win! He's done it!
:'''Jim''': The Rock guaranteed a victory at the Royal Rumble!
:'''Jerry''': He guaran-damn-teed it!
:'''Jim''': And the Rock has kept his word! He has done what he said he was gonna do!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2001)|2001]] ==

:'''Jim Ross''': ''[on entry #5]'' I can't believe he actually did it. [[Drew Carey]] is actually coming out here.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Drew, don't do it, this is suicide!
:'''Jim''': One of the biggest stars in all of Hollywood, a man with a couple of weekly television shows, a guy that's gonna have his own pay-per-view on Saturday night.
:'''Jerry''': I'll tell you what. If Drew lives through this, he deserves to have everybody watch his pay-per-view on Saturday night
:'''Jim''': If I was Drew, I'd just hang around and sign some autographs.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, pretty good idea; Drew, don't hurry, don't rush anything.
:'''Jim''': Listen to the crowd chanting for Drew Carey. You never know what's gonna happen in the WWF, and by golly, ''[ {{w|Jeff Hardy}} clotheslines {{w|Matt Hardy}} over the top onto the apron]'' you never know what's gonna happen in the Royal Rumble, as Matt Hardy almost got eliminated there.
:'''Jerry''': Come on, ref, get Drew in the ring so I can see how he can handle himself against the Hardys.
:'''Jim''': ''[chuckling]'' You're sadistic.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Drew enters the ring]'' I'd like to see Drew do...try a hurricanrana, Drew! Uh-oh, he's in the ring.
:'''Jim''': Drew Carey in the ring now.
:'''Jerry''': Dropkick, Drew!
:'''Jim''': Drew Carey encouraged in this by Mr. McMahon, and I think...
:'''Jerry''': Wait, take your glasses off, you're not a Dudley!
:'''Jim''': I still think Mr. McMahon, the ol' head of jealousy...''[noticing the Hardys fighting in the outside corner]'' oh my God, look at the Hardys. They just get higher and higher, and the risk factor...''[The Hardys fall to the floor, eliminating each other]'' Matt Hardy eliminated his brother, and Jeff pulled on his shirt that was around his waist...
:'''Jerry''': ''[on Drew looking over the ropes]'' Wait, Drew's done it! Do you realize if this was over, Drew would be going to WrestleMania?!
:'''Jim''': Oh God, I shudder to think that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Kane is about to become famous. He's gonna be on the news, he's gonna be on the front page of the New York Post!
:'''Jim''': Drew Carey's asking for assistance. I hope he's got good insurance with the Screen Actors Guild.
:'''Jerry''': I can see it now. ''Access Hollywood'', ''Entertainment Tonight'', the E! Network. Look at Drew, he's calling for the Hardys to come back.
:'''Jim''': Drew Carey has been left all alone at the Royal Rumble. He's all by himself, and the Big Red Machine is a carnivore! 
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, I don't think Drew really understands what he's gotten into here tonight.
:'''Jim''': The Big Red Machine's a carnivore, and Drew Carey's a big ol' pork chop. Drew's starting to sweat Crisco.
:'''Jerry''': Hey, Drew? What do you think his blood type is? Ragu?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[Kane converges on Grandmaster Sexay with the trash can]'' Ooh my god, Kane's now got a trash can.
:'''Jerry''': LOOK OUT!
:'''Jim''': ''[Kane hits Sexay with the trash can so hard he goes flying over the top rope]'' Oh, Grandmaster, ''[Kane hits Steve Blackman]'' has been knocked over the top by Kane! ''[Kane then hits Perry Saturn, then Al Snow with the trash can.]]'' The Big Red Machine... ''[Kane next hits Raven]'' ...has gone CRAZY here!
:'''Jerry''': He's on a rampage now!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[after Bradshaw attacks Val Venis, saving the Rock from elimination]'' Bradshaw should've helped Val, in my estimation.
:'''Jerry''': Nah, nobody wants to help Val or any member of the Right to Censor.
:'''Jim''': Yeah, you make a good point.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': How much left can these two men have in their bodies? Austin's got the steel chair!
:'''Jerry''': Look at Kane! He's a monster! He's already up!
:'''Jim''': My God, Kane is up! Oh God, Kane is up!
:'''Jerry''': Austin, you're not a monster!
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin strikes Kane in the head with the steel chair]'' What a shot!
:'''Jerry''': ACK! He didn't even knock him off his feet. 
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin strikes Kane again]'' GOD ALMIGHTY!
:'''Jerry''': WHOA!
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin strikes Kane again]'' A shot to the skull! Austin's going to dump him!
:''[Austin bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Kane out, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Jerry''': NO! OH!
:'''Jim''': KANE IS OUT! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jerry''': ''[over announcement]'' I knew he could do it!
:'''Jim''': STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA! 
:'''Jerry''': I knew the Rattlesnake could win this thing! Unbelievable! 
:'''Jim''': THE BATTERED AND BLOODY RATTLESNAKE HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY BACK - HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL ITSELF TO GO TO WRESTLEMANIA!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2002)|2002]] ==

:'''Jim Ross''': Fans chanting, &quot;we want Head,&quot; at Al Snow. Al Snow and his former mannequin head.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I'll get in on that chant, but not at Al Snow.
:'''Jim''': Would you behave?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[The Undertaker stands alone in the ring, having thrown out four men]'' You don't need RE/MAX or Century 21 to tell you whose yard this belongs to, and I don't think it's for sale.
:'''Jerry''': You know what, JR? There's only one thing I wouldn't wanna be.
:'''Jim''': What's that, King?
:'''Jerry''': Next.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Matt Hardy could certainly use some help out here, couldn't he?
:'''Jim''': Yeah, he ain't likely to get it. It's every man for himself. ''[Time expires. Entry #10 is Jeff Hardy]'' But maybe so, King!
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Jim''': Here comes Jeff Hardy! 
:'''Jerry''': Now wait a minute.
:'''Jim''': Undertaker about to suplex Matt to the outside, Jeff Hardy blocked that, and now both the Hardys...
:'''Jerry''': I got a question—who picked these numbers?
:'''Jim''': They were drawn randomly. The numbers are drawn randomly ''[Lita jumps into the ring and joins the Undertaker beatdown]'' The Hardys and Lita getting some retribution for their near-career-ending injuries!
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Lita is pulled out]'' They let her out there and she doesn't have a number?
:'''Jim''': ''[off the Hardys embrace]'' Look at the reunion of the Hardys! They're back on the same page! Lita's on the same page!
:'''Jerry''': No, Lita's ''off'' the page!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': And Maven! ''[He kicks the Undertaker, who is being distracted by the Hardy Boys who he has just eliminated, in the back. The momentum carries the Undertaker over the top rope and eliminates him]'' OH MY GOD! MY GOD! MAVEN FROM [[w:WWE Tough Enough#Tough Enough|''TOUGH ENOUGH'']] JUST ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!!!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?! WHAT?!
:'''Jim''': MY GOD, MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Now that is... that is the biggest shocker I've ever seen at the Royal Rumble!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Jim''': You heard me right!
:'''Jerry''': Let me do it again. WHAT?!
:'''Jim''': Maven just eliminated the Undertaker, and Maven cannot believe it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[after an eliminated Austin nails Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, and Triple H with a chair]'' Austin may have been eliminated, King, but he's made his mark indelibly on the head of his three adversaries!
:'''Jerry''': He is the meanest, maddest snake you'll ever lay eyes on! You don't trust anybody, especially that snake right there!
:'''Jim''': The Bionic Redneck is pissed, you can count on that!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Angle in trouble! Angle in trouble! 
:'''Jerry''': No, Kurt! NO! ''[Triple H clotheslines Angle out of the ring, winning the Rumble]'' 
:'''Jim''': IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE GAME! THE GAME!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Triple H!
:'''Jim''': He went through eight months of hell just to make it back, but many said he'd never make it! And now Triple H is going to WrestleMania! Triple H is going to meet the Undisputed WWF Champion at WrestleMania!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2003)|2003]] ==

:'''Michael Cole''': Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Team Angle has been ejected from this contest!
:'''Tazz''': Wait a minute, that ain't...if that's true, that ain't cool, that ain't right!
:'''Michael''': What do you mean, it's not right?
:'''Tazz''': ''[stammering]'' Well, I...maybe it is right. I don't know, I thought Team Angle was out here to learn and...observe from Kurt Angle.
:'''Michael''': Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit will be a classic match-up. There is no need for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to be involved. I believe Kurt Angle, Tazz, deep down inside realizes that he cannot beat Chris Benoit. He brought Benjamin and Haas in here as an insurance policy—that insurance policy has been sent to the back.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': ''[after Chris Jericho nails Shawn Michaels with a chair]'' Jericho admitted he always admired and emulated Shawn Michaels, but you'd never know it from that vile chair shot!
:'''Jim Ross''': I don't know if Jericho respects anybody or anything!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Poor HBK caught off guard right from the get-go with the help, of course, from Christian and that phony entrance there; Jericho shows up from behind, low blow... ''[Jericho tosses Michaels onto the floor, eliminating him]'' ...and ousts Shawn Michaels!
:'''Jim''': Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho! Shawn Michaels, battered and bloody, a low blow, a chair shot, the distraction, all combined to eliminate Shawn Michaels. I tell you what, I would not have called that in a million years.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|John Cena}}''': Yo, Yo, Yo!!! Thuganomics Style!
:Naw, naw, Put down your tea potties, get away from your John Hancocks
:I'm rockin this Thuganomics style
:Yo, besides open mics, one thing that gets me boiled
:Is an old school 30-man battle royal
:I'm-a win this, I'm-a make my impression
:Show Vinnie Mac that I got ruthless aggression
:The odds were even until you chose me
:Now it's 29 dudes and one ruthless MC
:Yo, it doesn't matter, kid, 'cause I'll rip your nose off
:I could batter you naked with no clothes on
:Kid, what you talkin' 'bout. Three reasons I'm-a win this
:Reason #1—I cut you up like cucumbers
:Reason #2 that you care to protest
:I'll be chokin' you like Sprewell be chokin' coaches
:Reason #3's hard for me to explain to ya
:But I'm-a win tonight and go on to WrestleMania
:The Royal Rumble's just another test I got to pass
:Y'all dudes are like a kid with one leg—you half-assed
:Yo, what you talkin' 'bout, kid. You can't touch this
:Throw the double clutches if you're down with untouches
:Yo it's my year, I suggest you take the year off.
:I'm sick like Tyson was when he bit Holyfield's ear off.
:It doesn't matter, kid. Yo, you should stop defeat me
:My style's like a swollen penis, you can't beat me.
:'''Jerry''': Oh, do you like the rap, JR?
:'''Jim''': Ninety seconds of...what the hell'd he say? Word to your mother.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Cena's an amazing young athletic prospect on SmackDown. He's a future main event player, and you're in the main event at WrestleMania if you can win the Royal Rumble match. Cena's got his whole career ahead of him—a great young prospect, but he rapped for damn near ninety seconds.
:'''Jerry''': So what's wrong with that? He's still in the Royal Rumble.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Undertaker is staring back at an already-eliminated Batista, who he just hit with a steel chair]''
:'''Jim''': And {{w|Brock Lesnar}}...
:'''Jerry''': HEY!
:'''Jim''': LESNAR! ''[Lesnar throws out Undertaker, winning the Rumble]'' And OH YES! BROCK LESNAR'S WON THE RUMBLE! BROCK LESNAR HAS ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble match, Brock Lesnar!
:'''Jerry''': Look at the Undertaker. Yeah, he got you. He got you, Undertaker.
:'''Jim''': Brock Lesnar is now in the main event at WrestleMania! The Road to WrestleMania has begun here at the Royal Rumble!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[Undertaker reenters the ring after Brock Lesnar's win]'' Wait a minute. What's gonna happen here?
:'''Jim''': This could be another explosion.
:'''Jerry''': No, I think the Undertaker's saying...that's twice you got me. But next time you got a title, he wants a shot.
:'''Jim''': I think that's exactly what the Undertaker said: if you become the Champion again, give me my opportunity. And Brock Lesnar will give the Undertaker that opportunity.
:'''Jerry''': Undertaker had delivered that chair shot on Batista, but he took his mind off Brock Lesnar, just for a split second.
:'''Jim''': This is gonna kill Paul Heyman.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2004)|2004]] ==

:'''Batista''': Hey, Dudleys! What is it with you guys and championship matches? I mean, we whipped your ass at ''Armageddon'', we kicked your asses all over ''Raw'', we're about to beat your asses again tonight! I mean, you guys are the biggest three-time losers since the Philadelphia Eagles!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, as both men were unable to answer at the count of ten, the referee has declared that Triple H is still the World Heavyweight Champion!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': Randy Orton needs to make hay while the sun is shining, so to speak.
:'''Tazz''': What the hell does that mean, JR? I'm from Brooklyn.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tazz''': ''[after Ernest &quot;The Cat Miller is eliminated, having spent his entire stay dancing in the ring to &quot;Somebody Call My Mama&quot;]'' Good, enough of the dancing. I'm sick of the dancing.
:'''Jim''': Well, we're back down to where we started. We'll continue the wrestling portion of the Royal Rumble match.
:'''Tazz''': Somebody better call his mama. Call him a taxi to the hotel.
:'''Jim''': Cat's got plenty of time to call his mama.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[as Cena notices Nunzio laying low by the barrier]'' I think Nunzio's tenure in the Witness Protection Program has just come to an abrupt end.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[Benoit, on the apron, has a headlock on the Big Show]'' Benoit's a-holding, and holding, he's holding! ''[Benoit takes the Big Show off his feet and slowly, but surely, tips him over the top rope]'' The Big Show's teetering! The Big Show's teetering! Can Benoit--
:'''Tazz''': Oh my God! Oh my God! He's gonna go! JR!
:'''Jim''': THE BIG SHOW-
:'''Tazz''': Can he do it? Hang on, Show!
:'''Jim''': SHOW IS TEETERING!
:'''Tazz''': Hang on, Show!
:'''Jim''': BENOIT'S HOLDING ON!
:'''Tazz''': ''[Benoit finally throws Big Show out, winning the Rumble]'' WOWWWWWWWWW!
:'''Jim''': YES! BENOIT!!! BENOIT HAS DONE IT!
:'''Howard''': Here is your winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble match: Chris Benoit!
:'''Tazz''': Benoit's going to WrestleMania, JR, and he's getting a title shot.
:'''Jim''': Chris Benoit, for over one hour of hell, has won the Royal Rumble match before 17,289 fans! And yes, Chris Benoit's dream to headline WrestleMania has come true!
:'''Tazz''': Chris Benoit has worked has ass off for 19 years, and the day has come!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2005)|2005]] ==

:''[Batista walks into the room to draw his number for the Royal Rumble]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': What the hell kind of championship match do you call that, where you have a hundred people interfering?
:'''Theodore Long''': What are ''you'' talking about? Like your World Championship match isn't gonna have a ton of interference. Everyone knows that Evolution's gonna get involved. Batista...you can even ask him; he can tell you that.
:'''Eric''': Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...
:'''Batista''': ''[having drawn]'' I just came here to get my number.
:'''Eric''': What I'm gonna do...
:'''Theodore''': What are you gonna do?
:'''Eric''': ''Raw's'' Championship match—Evolution is banned from ringside.
:'''Theodore''': Really?
:'''Batista''': Is that right?
:'''Eric''': That's right, Batista, and my decision is final. The only question is, do you wanna tell Triple H, or would you like me to?
:'''Batista''': ''[thinking about it, then smiling]'' No, I'll tell him.
:'''Theodore''': ''[to Eric, as Batista leaves]'' You know something? For once, you've done something right.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': If [[w:Amy Weber|Amy]] looks good sober, can you imagine what she's gonna look like after this bottle?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Theodore''': What's gonna happen at ''No Way Out'', you will face the man that you did not pin tonight—The Big Show.
:'''JBL''': What's he gonna do, eat me? What's he gonna do? I don't care if he's from the Jurassic Age, the Triassic Age or the Chevy Classic Age; I'm gonna beat the Big Show like he's gonna eat a pizza!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Teddy Long has resolved the situation over Eddie Guerrero stealing Ric Flair's number in the Rumble]''
:'''Theodore Long''': Just a minute.
:'''Eddie Guerrero''': What? ''[Long offers hand. Eddie shakes] Olare'', Holmes you know I love you man. I gotta get me some skin -
:'''Theodore''': Eddie, ''[stops him]'' Eddie!! ''[still extends hand]'' Give it up, dawg. ''[Eddie gives Long a wallet. It turns out to be Flair's]''
:'''Triple H''': ''[to Flair]'' Hey isn't that your wallet?
:'''Ric Flair''': ''[as Teddy gives back his wallet]'' What?!! My wallet? My wallet! ''[tries to rush Eddie but Long restrains him]''
:'''Guerrero''': What are you looking at? You're lucky that's all I took, you got watch who you're hugging!
:'''Flair''': ''[to Long]'' That wallet thief's over there!! You call him when I get there.
:'''HHH''': You're a dead man, Guerrero! 
:'''Theodore''': Sorry about the confusion. ''[leaves]''
:'''HHH''': You better run. It's Evolution's night! We're gonna show everybody it's our night!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': Severe weather alert: [[w:Gregory Helms|The Hurricane]] has passed through.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[on entry #14: Muhammad Hassan]'' Unfortunately, this man is from ''Raw''.
:'''Tazz''': You proud of this guy, JR?
:'''Jim''': I am not.
:'''Tazz''': You can keep him on ''Raw'', I'll tell you that right now.
:'''Jim''': I'll make you a trade.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': What the hell is Simon Dean doing?
:'''Tazz''': I have no idea. Your ''Raw'' guys are...I don't know what the hell they're doing playing games, with all respect.
:'''Jim''': He's as goofy as a pet coon, I can tell you that right now. Look at him. He's warming up. He had all damn day to warm up! Get in the ring, you idiot! Mysterio taking out Eddie Guerrero face-first.
:'''Tazz''': ''[laughing]'' Dude's doing Hindu squats outside of the ring. ''[Edge eliminates Eddie Guerrero]'' Oh, damn it to Hell! You gotta be kidding.
:'''Jim''': Eddie Guerrero eliminated. Edge eliminating Eddie Guerrero.
:'''Tazz''': That's your fault! That's ''Raw's'' fault, because this guy on the outside's doing squats and he distracted Guerrero!
:...
:'''Jim''': ''[as Simon Dean gets in the ring]'' I hope somebody eliminates Simon Dean, like, immediately. Right now.
:'''Tazz''': Me too.
:'''Jim''': [[w:Jack Doan|John Doan]] could've eliminated him for all I care!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tazz''': ''[on entry #21: Jonathan Coachman]'' Tell me, JR, that he deserves to be in the Rumble.
:'''Jim''': I can't.
:'''Tazz''': Well, look at the arms on him. Last time I saw arms like that, they were hanging out of a nest. Give me a break, this guy's not a superstar.
:'''Jim''': Don't get mad at me about it, I didn't put him in.
:'''Tazz''': I'm mad at everybody!
:'''Jim''': Bischoff put him in.
:'''Tazz''': That's true.
:'''Jim''': Look at Coach taking his time. He's got...just so you know who he is, you ever wonder, just look at his ass—it's got &quot;Coach&quot; written all over it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[as Batista hoists Cena up]'' Can you say Batista Bomb?
:'''Tazz''': No, no, no!
:''[Cena shifts his weight so Batista backs into the ropes, the momentum sending both over the top rope and onto the floor]''
:'''Jim''': My God, they both went out!
:'''Tazz''': Wait, I don't know what I want. ''[Both sets of referees debate]'' Wait, who touched first?
:''[Jack Doan raises Batista's hand]''
:'''Jim''': Batista wins it!
:'''Tazz''': What?! No, wait a minute.
:'''Jim''': Jack Doan is calling...Referee Jack Doan has raised Batista's hand. ''[Batista rolls back into the ring, followed by Cena and referee Jim Korderas]'' Both men went over the top rope, both men's feet obviously touched the floor.
:'''Tazz''': Wait, hold on, JR, I think...''[Korderas raises Cena's hand]'' No, ''Cena'' won! ''[Back-and-forth, the Raw referees raise Batista's hand, and the SmackDown refs Cena's]'' No, no, no, no, no...
:'''Jim''': Two ''Raw'' referees hold Batista's hand up...
:'''Tazz''': What the Hell?!?
:'''Jim''': We've got a major malfunction in the junction here. We've got two winners of the Royal Rumble, or do we?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, per order of the chairman, Mr. McMahon, he has ordered that this match be restarted!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Batista from ''Raw'' overpowering John Cena...
:'''Tazz''': No, no, no, no ''[Batista throws Cena out, finally winning the Rumble]'' NO!
:'''Jim''': Batista beats Cena! Batista, the exclamation point, is on the sentence!
:'''Howard''': The winner of the Royal Rumble match: Batista!
:'''Jim''': It was not without controversy, but by God, we know now who's going to the main event at WrestleMania, Tazz!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2006)|2006]] ==

:'''Triple H''': ''[as the numbers are being mixed]'' You see the problem with the whole living in the fantasy world, talking about destiny. I live in reality.
:'''Randy Orton''': Reality, huh?
:'''Triple H''': Yeah, I live in reality world. Realities like...me beating you for a title, or realities of you not standing a chance tonight. I'm gonna win the Royal Rumble. Torrie, would you mind opening your box for me. ''[Torrie opens the bin and Triple H reaches in to draw a number. He pulls out a ball, Candice taps it with her wand.]'' Would you hold my ball? ''[Candice takes the empty ball and Triple H unfolds the paper containing the number]'' Kid, read 'em and weep.
:''[Triple H looks and his jaw drops]''
:'''Orton''': ''[laughing]'' Whoa, bro. Reality? Let me tell you what your reality is—you're screwed. You are screwed, man; tough luck. I'll see you out there...or maybe not.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joey Styles''': Mickie James is obsessed with Trish. She's her #1 fan, she's obsessed with Trish, and time and time again she's attacked Ashley just because...well, for no reason, quite frankly. Just because when anyone gets near Trish, Mickie James goes crazy.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Well, who wouldn't go crazy when you get near Trish?
:'''Joey''': Oh, you know what I mean.
:'''Jerry''': I would love to be that striped shirt that Trish is wearing. Can you imagine being ''that'' close to Trish?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': I can usually read a woman like a book—I prefer the Braille edition—but Mickie James, I can't get a read on her at all.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Rey Mysterio drew #2, looked up in the skies, the heavens, and said, &quot;Eddie, you got me.&quot; Maybe Eddie just wanted to watch Rey for a long time tonight.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;	
:''[Randy Orton is about to throw Mysterio out]''	
:'''Michael Cole''': And this is a damn shame that Triple H had to end Rey Mysterio's hopes this way.
:'''Jerry''': Well, this just shows you how...	
:'''Michael''': Orton parading around with Mysterio. ''[Mysterio grasps the top rope]'' And Rey! Rey hanging on to the top rope!	
:'''Jerry''': Rey hanging on for dear life here. ''[Suddenly Rey turns around, puts his legs between Orton's head...]'' Whoa, whoa!
:'''Michael''': And Mysterio! ''[...and does a hurricanrana, throwing Orton out and winning the Rumble]'' HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!
:'''Jerry''': No way!
:'''Michael''': REY MYSTERIO DID IT!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here is your winner: Rey Mysterio!
:'''Michael''': REY MYSTERIO IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Jerry''': Latino Heat is alive and well! Look at this!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!
:'''Jerry''': Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2007)|2007]] ==

:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Was that a scream of joy from Melina?
:'''Jim Ross''': I haven't made a lot of women scream, so I can't tell you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': It's been well-documented, JBL, that when Mr. Kennedy can target a body part, he will be relentless and rabid on the assault throughout the match-up, and that's what he's doing here.
:'''[[w:John Layfield|John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield]]''': Just what I said. Just exactly what I said! I'm sitting out here with a damn parrot!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!
:'''Michael''': Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.
:'''JBL''': No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!
:'''Michael''': I guess you didn't see the low blow.
:'''JBL''': I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.
:'''Michael''': You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.
:'''Michael''': Well, you stole the punchline from JBL.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[on CM Punk]'' They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.
:'''Michael''': But he's a hell of an athlete...
:'''JBL''': He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...
:'''JBL''': &quot;Claiming&quot;?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—''[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms]'' Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': And the Hardys, who have a long history with Edge, going to work on Rated-RKO.
:'''JBL''': Well, they stole all their girlfriends.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him]'' It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it! 
:'''Michael''': So...so, does that mean Kane's eliminated?
:'''JBL''': Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!
:'''Michael''': This is ridiculous!
:'''JBL''': It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!
:'''Jerry''' It's the Royal Rumble!
:''[Buzzer sounds, signaling entry #19: Viscera]''
:'''Michael''': Uh-oh!
:'''JBL''': Here comes Visagra.
:'''Jerry''': But I don't think he's bringing any ''love'' to the Royal Rumble.
:'''Michael''': Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...
:'''JBL''': How the hell could he ''not'' be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!
:'''Michael''': Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!
:'''JBL''': Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!
:'''Michael''': That's part of the match and you know it!
:'''JBL''': He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?
:'''Michael''': Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's [[w:Royal Rumble (1994)|debut]].
:'''JBL''': I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna ''eat''.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': JBL, did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?
:'''Michael''': I said he was Gumby-''like''.
:'''JBL''': Disgusting. I deal with this every week.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': CM Punk is a popular young star. He's got a huge future ahead of him, whether he wins this Royal Rumble or not.
:'''JBL''': Needs to start drinking though.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Here comes {{w|The Miz|Miz}}, at #29.
:'''Jerry''': Miz!
:'''JBL''': Don't worry, King, I hate him too.
:'''Michael''': And Miz... ''[The Great Khali picks Miz up and tosses him out of the ring, eliminating him]'' Well, he may have set a record.
:'''JBL''': The Warlord had the record at three seconds—did Miz just beat it?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[The Great Khali has eliminated seven men, and four lie in the ring]'' The power, the strength, who can stop the Great Khali?!
:'''JBL''': Absolutely nobody.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as the buzzer sounds for entry #30]'' I'd have second thoughts about coming out...
:''[Funeral bell sounds, meaning only one man...]''
:'''JBL''': Here we go!
:'''Michael''': Maybe there ''is'' someone! Maybe there is someone! The legendary Phenom, the Undertaker!
:'''JBL''': But nobody has come in at #30 and won the Royal Rumble ever.
:'''Michael''': It's never happened, but Undertaker has faced, he has battled, he has taken out Khali before.
:'''JBL''': The roof is about to blow off this place!
:'''Jerry''': It doesn't get any better than this!
:'''JBL''': Throw some gasoline on the fire! My God, I love it!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': Who would believe that the 20th Royal Rumble, the most star-studded, is quite frankly the best of them all?!
:'''Jerry''': JBL, right now, who do you think? Who's got the most gas left in the tank?
:'''JBL''': ''[as Shawn prepares to superkick the Undertaker]'' This is how Shawn Michaels eliminated Diesel! Here we go!
:'''Michael''': Shawn Michaels eliminated Edge like that! ''[Undertaker catches him]'' Went for Sweet Chin Music! Got caught! ''[Undertaker picks him up, and throws him out, winning the Rumble]'' And Undertaker has eliminated Shawn Michaels! Undertaker is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Jerry''': Oh my gosh!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here is your winner of the 2007 Royal Rumble: The Undertaker!
:'''Michael''': For the first time in his illustrious career, the Undertaker has won the Royal Rumble match!
:'''JBL''': Going to WrestleMania, the main event. The Undertaker, 14-0 in WrestleMania!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': You wanna go to the top of the mountain? Get this tape and watch it over and over and over again because that is the best in the business and how they fight!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': (after Undertaker wins the Royal Rumble) Get ready, WrestleMania! The Deadman's coming!

== [[w:Royal Rumble (2008)|2008]] ==

:'''Michael Buffer''': Ladies and gentlemen, from the mecca of sports and entertainment, Madison Square Garden, New York City, this is the moment the world has been waiting for: the 2008 Royal Rumble! The rules are as follows: the superstars who drew #1 and #2 will start. Once the match begins, another superstar will enter every 90 seconds based upon the number drawn earlier tonight. This will continue until all 30 superstars have entered the ring. The only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope with both feet hitting the ground. The last man in the ring will be declared the 2008 Royal Rumble winner. And along with his triumphant place in history, he will be awarded a championship match at WrestleMania XXIV!
:And now, the time has arrived. 30 superstars shall enter this ring, but only one will be victorious. Are you ready?! ''[The crowd cheers]'' Madison Square Garden, New York City, USA, are...you... ''[drawing it out] ready?!'' ''[Another cheer]'' For the sold-out, standing room only thousands in attendance here at the Garden and the millions watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen...''LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!'''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Joey Styles''': How would you like to share a subway car with Snitsky at about midnight?
:'''Jim Ross''': I wouldn't want to share a Subway ''sandwich'' with Snitsky at midnight.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Buzzer sounds for #30. The music plays and doors open for...]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What?!
:'''Jim''': Wait a minute. What the hell?!
:'''Tazz''': What is this?!
:'''Jim''': IT'S JOHN CENA! JOHN CENA, #30!
:'''Jerry''': Oh my gosh!
:'''Joey''': This is unbelievable!
:'''Tazz''': You gotta be kiddin' me!
:'''Joey''': Oh, my God!
:'''Michael Cole''': Triple H's expression told the entire story!
:'''Jim''': The roof is exploding off of Madison Square Garden! John Cena, the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble match! And yes indeed, business just picked up!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': These men, somehow, someway, are able to stand, and it's the Game who rises first. ''[Triple H hoists John Cena on his shoulders and attempts to throw him out, but Cena holds on to the bottom rope]'' Cena! Cena now in a precarious position! Cena holding on to the top rope, but the Game, so strong, so powerful, with the heart and the soul to headline WrestleMania! ''[Cena gets off Triple H's shoulders and attempts to FU him]'' And Cena counters!
:'''Jerry''': Whoa! WHOA!
:'''Jim''': But not for long, Cena countered! ''[Triple H attempts the Pedigree, but Cena counters and hoists Triple H on his shoulders]'' The counter... OH, A SHOW OF STRENGTH! ''[Cena FU's Triple H over the top rope, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Jerry''': WHOA!
:'''Jim''': CENA WITH A FU, AND CENA DOES IT!
:'''Jerry''': WHOA-OH-OH!
:'''Michael Buffer''': Ladies and gentlemen, the 2008 Royal Rumble winner is JOHN CENA!
:'''Jim''': When we started this historic night, the last man I thought that would headline WrestleMania would be John Cena because I didn't think John Cena was physically able to return to combat in the WWE! And, my, my, how wrong I was!
:'''Jerry''': Not only did John Cena return, he has prevailed! Unbelievable!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2009)|2009]]==
:'''Jim Ross''' ''[as Jeff Hardy starts to climb to the top turnbuckle]'': Jeff Hardy, willing himself! ''[suddenly Vickie Guerrero appears and tries to pull Jeff down]'' Jeff Hardy living extreme-
:'''Tazz''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, wh-
:'''Jim''': And there's Vi-
:'''Tazz''': Vickie Guerrero!
:'''Jim''': The general manager! ''[Jeff kicks Vickie off of him]'' Our general manager-
:'''Tazz''': There's no disqualification.
:'''Jim''': Here to intervene!
:'''Tazz''' ''[as Jeff hits the Swanton Bomb on Edge, who is down]'' Jeff Hardy!
:'''Jim''': Swanton Bomb! And that should do it!
:'''Tazz''': Can Jeff capitalize? Can Jeff sow it in for the cover?
:'''Jim''': Edge, down. Edge not moving. 
:''' Tazz''' ''[as the referee starts the 3-count]'' Got him, got him!-
:''[Vickie then grabs the referee to stop the count]''
:'''Jim''': Aw, come on!
:'''Tazz''': Wow.
:'''Jim''' ''[as Vickie is screaming at the referee]'': The general manager interrupted the count, or I personally guarantee you this one would be over!
:''[suddenly Matt Hardy comes out to the ring, steel chair in hand, and pushes Vickie into the ring]''
:'''Tazz''': Whoa, Matt Hardy!
:'''Jim''' ''[as Matt corrals Vickie to the corner of the ring]'': And now the tables got a little bit ho - set a little differently!
:'''Tazz''': Yeah, no disqualification here!
:'''Jim''': Jeff's brother Matt... ''[Matt hands Jeff the chair amidst Vickie's screaming]'' ...handing him a legal weapon. ''[Jeff prepares to hit Edge with the chair, but Matt stops him, then goes outside the ring to pick up the other chair laying on the floor]'' The Hardys...
:'''Tazz''': Ho-ho-ho-ha-ha!
:'''Jim''': Shades of ''TLC''!
:'''Tazz''' ''[as Jeff lays his chair under Edge's head]'' Con-chair-to city!
:''[suddenly Matt strikes Jeff in the head with the other chair. Jeff goes down and is out cold]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, my God!
:''[the crowd boos loudly as Matt stares at his fallen brother. Edge comes to, looks at Matt, pulls Jeff in and, keeping one eye on Matt, covers Jeff for the three count]''
:'''Justin Roberts''' ''[as the referee hands Edge the WWE championship belt]'': The winner of this match, and NEW WWE champion, the Rated-R Superstar, Edge!
:''[Edge celebrates with Vickie as Matt quietly leaves the ring and walks away]''
:'''Jim''' ''[after a long pause]'': I'm absolutely in shock. I don't believe what we have just witnessed here tonight at the Royal Rumble.
:'''Tazz''': Staggering. I - ''[stammers]'' - I don't know what to say, I...
:'''Jim''': Jeff Hardy was living his dream. And now his dream has become a family nightmare.
:'''Tazz''': You know, JR, I-I don't think Edge had any idea, of any of this unfolding the way it unfolded, I - nor do I think Vickie had anything to do with this. In shocking fashion, we crowned a new WWE champion?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Both members of Cryme Tyme enter the arena during the Royal Rumble match]''
:'''Jim''': Which one's it gonna be? Big Shad or JTG?
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': ''[as JTG pulls out a coin]'' There can only be one, they're gonna flip a coin. ''[JTG flips it, wins the toss, and goes to the ring]'' Is that a coin?
:'''Jim''': What did you think it was, a tooth?
:'''Jerry''': No telling. Could be a license plate this guys made. ''[Shad picks up the coin and can't help but smile when he sees that...]'' It's a double-sided coin!
:'''Jim''': JTG wins the toss and has elected to offend.
:'''Jerry''': It was a two-headed coin!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': In some of the pubs that Finlay frequents, this is the way they decide who picks up the tab.
:'''Jim''': Something ''you'' usually don't ever do.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[as Santino Marella, the #28 entry, charges to the ring]'' The king of the unibrow. No offense, King. ''[The very moment Santino enters the ring, Kane clotheslines him back out, eliminating him]'' OH!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Jim''': Good lord!
:'''Santino Marella''': I wasn't ready! I wasn't ready! No! I wasn't actually prepared! I'm going back in!
:''[Most of the superstars stop fighting in the ring, amazed and/or surprised over Santino's elimination]''
:'''Jim''': That was a record! I think the Warlord's record may have been broken!
:'''Jerry''': Err.. No redos, Santino! ''[Kane laughs as the replay of the elimination is shown on screen]'' Ha!Ha!Ha! Let's see if we can time this in our heads. 1,001...one thousan...he didn't even last two seconds! About a second-and-a-half!
:'''Jim''': So Santino may have gone in the record books, but not in the way he would've liked.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Triple H dumps Orton over the top, but he lands on the apron]''
:'''Jerry''': There goes Orton!
:'''Jim''': Orton's gon... Orton's ''not'' gone! ''[Triple H Pedigrees Cody Rhodes]'' What a Pedigree! A Pedigree to Rhodes! ''[ [[w:Ted DiBiase, Jr.|Ted DiBiase]] runs at Triple H, but Triple H sends DiBiase flying over the top rope to the floor, eliminating him]'' DiBiase's gone! We're down to three! We're down to three!
:''[Triple H tosses Cody, eliminating him]''
:'''Jerry''': There goes Rhodes! He's gone! Cody Rhodes is gone!
:''[Orton, now back in the ring, dumps Triple H out of the ring, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Jim''': Triple H...is gone! ORTON DID IT!
:'''Justin Roberts''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2009 Royal Rumble: Randy Orton!
:'''Jerry''': Randy Orton from behind! Just as the Game had eliminated Cody Rhodes, Orton struck!
:'''Jim''': The Game eliminated 2/3 of Legacy, but Randy Orton took advantage of opportunity to win the 2009 Royal Rumble! And you know what this means!
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Cody and Ted re-enter]'' It means that that man, Randy Orton, has a one-way ticket to the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. But he didn't do it alone—there's his help.
:...
:'''Jim''': The Game fought and fought and fought, tried to hang on, but it was too much. The odds were too much, and now Randy Orton's legacy is this—he is guaranteed a championship match at the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Orton points to the WrestleMania sign]'' 48 minutes and 27 seconds it took Randy Orton to win this Royal Rumble.
:'''Jim''': Randy Orton is going to WrestleMania to become a champion, to compete in the main event, and it's guaranteed.

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2010)|2010]]==
:'''CM Punk''': ''[after eliminating Evan Bourne and Dolph Ziggler, leaving him alone in the ring]'' Let me thank you all for joining me tonight in what will be the most historic moment my Straight Edge Society has ever seen. These are just the first of 29 other men that will be thrown over the top rope, or, if they have the courage that the WWE Universe lacks, they can be saved. ''[The clock counts down from ten seconds]'' But unfortunately, not everyone can win the Royal Rumble. Excuse me, [[w:Fantastic Four|it's clobberin' time]].
:'''[[w:Matt Striker|Matt Striker]]''': Who's the next sacrifice for [[w:Thing (comics)|Ben Grimm]]?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': ''[after Punk eliminates JTG]'' You know what the bad news there is, don't you? We're gonna have to listen to CM Punk again.
:'''Matt''': No, nothing wrong with that.
:'''CM Punk''': As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, not everybody can win the Royal Rumble match, just like not everyone can be saved. There are people here tonight that cannot, that will not ever have the reserve and dedication in their heart to follow in my footsteps. ''[The clock counts down again]'' Tonight I become the first ever straight edge Royal Rumble match winner.
:''[Buzzer sounds; entrant #5 is the Great Khali]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Oh boy! The Punjabi Playboy.
:'''Matt''': Let's see if CM Punk can curry favor with the Great Khali.
:'''Michael''': 7'3&quot;, 420 pounds, making his fourth Rumble appearance.
:'''Matt''': CM Punk looking at his Mary Magdalene, Serena. How is Punk going to deal with the Great Khali?
:'''CM Punk''': Great Khali, Great Khali, Great Khali, I can save you. Great Khali, I can make you...I can make you greater! I can see the pain in your eyes—you need to be saved! Please, Great Khali, raise your right hand! ''[Great Khali raises his right hand]'' Do you accept straight edge into your life?
:''[With his right hand, Khali chops Punk down]''
:'''Michael''': The straight edge chop.
:'''Matt''': CM Punk was only trying to save the Great Khali, but...''[Khali starts crushing Punk's head]'' All Khali has to do is pick Punk up and throw him over the top rope.
:'''Michael''': The skull enveloped in those hands of Khali
:'''Jerry''': Who's gonna save CM right now?
:'''Michael''': ''[as the clock counts down]'' Who will enter at #6?
:'''Jerry''': Could crush his head like a grape.
:''[Buzzer sounds; entrant #6 is Beth Phoenix, who runs to the ring]''
:'''Matt''': That's Beth Phoenix.
:'''Michael''': The Glamazon! Just the second woman in Rumble history.
:'''Jerry''': Are you serious?
:'''Matt''': ''[as Phoenix stares into Khali's eyes]'' Every Superstar is eligible but...really? ''[Khali picks her up and places her over the top rope onto the apron, pointing her to go back]'' Khali's the Punjabi Playboy. Gentle.
:'''Michael''': Chivalry is not dead.
:''[Beth kisses Khali in a mad embrace, pulling him over the top]''
:'''Matt''': Why does Khali get all the good stuff?! ''[Phoenix pulls the Great Khali onto the floor, eliminating him, and gets back in the ring]'' Never trust a woman, look at that!
:'''Michael''': Beth Phoenix has eliminated the Great Khali!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': CM Punk has so far eliminated four- well, three superstars and a diva.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': [[w:Space Oddity (song)|Ground control to Major]] [[John Hennigan|John]], this could be Starship Pain.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Awaiting #20...
:''[Shawn superkicks Triple H out of the ring, eliminating him]''
:'''Matt''': WOOOOOWWWWWW!!! ''[continues over]''
:'''Michael''': Sweet Chin Music!
:'''Jerry''': Oh my God!
:'''Michael''': Shawn Michaels has eliminated Triple H! It is indeed every man for himself!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': #29 on his way.
:'''Jerry''': Who's gonna join these guys? ''[buzzer sounds; Jericho gives a shocked look as Edge's music plays.]''
:'''Michael''': HOLY–!!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Michael''': OH MY!! The Rated:-R Superstar! The former World Champion!
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Matt''': ''[refering to the immense cheers of Edge's return]'' Listen to the ovation!
:'''Michael''': It is thunderous in the Phillips Arena!
:'''Matt''': After what many thought to be a career-threatening injury, Edge has returned!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Look out, here comes Edge!
:''[Edge clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, the momentum sending him over as well, with both landing on the apron.]''
:'''Michael''': Both hang on, both hang on. For a moment. But look at...teetering precariously on the apron. Oh, this is dangerous. This is dangerous for both of these men.
:''[Michaels superkicks Edge over the top and back into the ring]''
:'''Matt''': Whoa! Back ''into'' the ring, though!
:'''Michael''': Sweet Chin Music... ''[Batista attacks Michaels from behind, who still hangs on by one hand]'' Batista ambushing Michaels! ''[Batista knocks Michaels' hand away and Michaels falls to the floor, getting eliminated]'' NO!!!
:'''Matt''': NO!!!
:'''Jerry''': Shawn Michaels eliminated.
:'''Matt''': Hearts have been broken right now. Everyone wanted to see Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, the rematch
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Michaels reenters the ring, referee Charles Robinson following him]'' What's he doing? He can't...
:'''Matt''': Shawn Michaels has been eliminated.
:'''Charles Robinson''': Get out! Get out! It's over, Shawn. Get out! All right? It's over. Get out.
:'''Shawn''': You don't understand!
:'''Charles''': I can't help you! You went over the rope! What do you want me to do about it?! Let's go!
:''[Michaels superkicks Charles and falls to the mat as referee Jack Doan implores him to leave.]''
:'''Jack Doan''': Shawn, you gotta go. You gotta go.
:'''Matt''': This match meant everything to Shawn Michaels. ''[An inconsolable Michaels leaves the ring and makes his way up the aisle]'' It's the one thing in Shawn Michaels' career that he's never achieved.
:'''Michael''': That man, Batista.
:'''Matt''': Let's not lose sight of what this night is about, though—the road to WrestleMania.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, but I'm worried about Shawn here.
:'''Shawn''': GOD!!! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
:'''Michael''': I can not help but feel for him. We are down to three, ladies and gentlemen; let's refocus on what's at hand.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': John Cena's been in the match the longest, over 25 minutes thus far. Batista, remember, entered at #30, Edge at #29.
:'''Matt''': Well, HBK entered at #18, so he has to be in at least a minute longer than... ''[As he says this, Batista charges Cena, who grabs the top rope and pulls it down, sending Batista over to elimination]'' ...CENA! OH!
:'''Jerry''': Batista eliminated!
:'''Michael''': John Cena, a little payback from 2005. John Cena has eliminated Batista. We are now down to two.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Edge preps from the other side of the ring]'' Watch your back, John.
:''[Edge runs to spear Cena...]''
:'''Michael''': Here it is. ''[...but Cena catches him with a knee]'' Look at him take advantage. Cena...saw it coming... ''[Cena charges Edge, but Edge steps aside and tosses him out of the ring, winning the Rumble]'' OH NO! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Justin Roberts''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble: The Rated-R Superstar, Edge!
:'''Matt''': Oh, my God! [[w:One Day Remains#Metalingus|On this day, I see clearly.]] The Ultimate Opportunist, Edge, is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Michael''': I cannot believe it, ladies and gentlemen. Edge wasn't supposed to be here. Edge wasn't supposed to be back in action for months, and he came from out of nowhere, and he entered at #29, and he eliminated John Cena, and he's won the Royal Rumble match!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2011)|2011]]==

:'''Matt Striker''': ''[on Vickie Guerrero]'' She looks like a can of strawberry soda with botulism. Look at that top.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[as Edge is about to spear Dolph Ziggler while the referee and Vickie are out cold]'' He can't do this!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Oh, yes he can!
:'''Michael''': No, he can't! It's illegal!
:'''Matt''': Remember, if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, it never happened.
:''[Edge spears Ziggler]''
:'''Michael''': Somebody had to see that!  Ref, get up! Edge isn't hurt! Edge is acting, he deserves an Oscar nomination here! Come on, ref, you fool!
:'''Jerry''': ''[as the ref slowly gets up]'' This is great.
:'''Michael''': How did the ref not see that?!
:'''Jerry''': What do you mean, &quot;how did the referee not see that&quot;? The ref was knocked down, Vickie Guerrero's knocked down.
:'''Michael''': This is ridiculous! This is a travesty!
:'''Jerry''': Somebody wake Vickie Guerrero up. She definitely needs to see this.
:''[Edge gives the Killswitch to Ziggler]''
:'''Matt''': Look at this! A little shout-out to his [[w:Christian (wrestler)|buddy]]!
:'''Michael''': The cover. ''[The referee counts to three]'' You've gotta be kidding me!
:...
:'''Michael''': It's too damn bad the Oscar nominations came out last week, because this man would be a frontrunner for Best Actor!
:...
:'''Jerry''': How many times had Vickie Guerrero slapped, punched, and done all those things to Edge? I don't think that Edge...I don't know how he kept his composure. But right here, he realized Vickie Guerrero was down; he looked over, he saw the referee down.
:'''Michael''': But this is illegal! The spear is illegal!
:'''Matt''': The cat's away, the mice will play. The teacher didn't see it, I didn't do it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Josh Matthews''': Miz, you're just moments away from your title defense, however you requested this time to address the WWE Universe.
:'''The Miz''': Josh, my entire championship reign has been smeared with lies and accusations, from &quot;if it wasn't for Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler would be Champion&quot;, &quot;if it wasn't for Alex Riley, Randy Orton would be Champion.&quot; There is a reason why I'm a champion, and people like Randy Orton, Jerry Lawler, and even Tom Brady are not champions.
:'''Alex Riley''': The Miz can outbrawl Randy Orton, outwrestle him, outshine him, outsmart him, and outclass him. He's gonna beat Randy tonight, and he's gonna go on to WrestleMania the WWE Champion.
:'''Miz''': As I told Randy Orton as I stood over his barely conscious body two weeks ago, I'm the Miz...and I'm awesome.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': The Miz does not even realize that he's won.
:'''Michael''': It doesn't matter, he's still the WWE Champion. He's retained the WWE Championship.
:'''Jerry''': The Miz, fat lip and all, is asking the referee what happened. You gonna tell me, Cole, the Miz is gonna be a proud WWE Champion after that?
:'''Michael''': He should be proud—he's still the WWE Champ.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': What's interesting about {{w|Daniel Bryan}} is that he spent twelve years honing his craft, toiling in the minor leagues; imagine what it would mean for Daniel Bryan to go to WrestleMania.
:'''Michael''': Minor leagues???
:'''Matt''': Yeah, before he came to the WWE, everything's the minor leagues.
:'''Michael''': Well, for CM Punk, he's in the big time now. CM Punk, the three-time World Champion and about to go to school on this dork Daniel Bryan.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, if what you is right, then CM Punk was in the minor leagues.
:'''Matt''': Yeah, this is...a lot of the Internet loves this match-up right now.
:'''Michael''': The Internet loves this, the Internet loves that. Who cares about the stupid Internet?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Alternating chants]''
:'''Half of audience''': DANIEL BRYAN!
:'''Other half''': CM PUNK!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': From Merrick, Long Island; cocky and brash, even [[w:Michael Sorrentino|&quot;The Situation&quot;]] finds this guy annoying—Zack Ryder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[On the Nexus working together and standing alone in the ring]''
:'''Jerry''': Say what you want, this is not what the Royal Rumble is about.
:'''Michael''': Why not?!
:'''Jerry''': The Royal Rumble is supposed to be about every man for himself.
:'''Michael''': King, you would do this.
:'''Jerry''': No I would not.
:'''Michael''': You would do this.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, if I could find four or five suckers that would play along with it, I might.
:'''Matt''': Just call up Mid-South.
:'''Jerry''' ''[clearly unamused]'': Not funny.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[The buzzer sounds for #32. The sound of an engine turning over causes the crowd to roar and the action to stop.]''
:'''Matt''': Holy sh...!
:''[A big truck horn sounds, perfectly timed to censor Striker]''
:'''Michael''': You've gotta be kidding me! Big Daddy Cool Diesel!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Michael''': Diesel's back! Diesel's here! 6'11&quot;, 311 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan!
:'''Matt''': This is what it's all about! You never know who's gonna show up!
:'''Michael''': The former WWE Champion...
:'''Matt''': Look at the faces!
:'''Jerry''': Look at ''your'' face.
:'''Michael''': King, who will ever forget in 1994 when Diesel entered the Rumble match and eliminated seven men! Nearly seven feet tall! Diesel's back!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Miz''': ''[unaware Riley was eliminated]'' Notice Alex Riley. Alex Riley is being very smart right now.
:'''Jerry''': Where is he?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': You win the Royal Rumble, you headline WrestleMania. You have a choice—which championship do you go after? Which match do you want to be in?
:'''Michael''': You gotta win the Royal Rumble match first. One of these men looking to live their dreams...''[Randy Orton eliminates Wade Barrett]'' Wade Barrett eliminated...
:''[Alberto Del Rio gets Randy over the top rope...]''
:'''Michael and Matt''': Yes, do it! Do it!
:''[...and out to the floor, seemingly winning the Rumble]''
:'''Matt''': YEAH!
:'''Michael''': Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio does it!
:'''Matt''': Vaya con dios, Alberto Del Rio!
:'''Ricardo Rodriguez''': Cabas y caballeros, su ganador de Royal Rumble eras ALBERTOOO DEL RIIIOOO!  ''(Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Royal Rumble is Alberto Del Rio!)''
:'''Matt''': Alberto Del Rio is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Jerry''': I can't believe it. I can assure you I would've never made this...''[Mike Chioda talks with Alberto in the ring after Santino re-enters]'' whoa, wait a minute.
:'''Michael''': Folks, remember, King, remember what you said earlier. Remember what you said earlier. Santino was never eliminated, remember? He never went over the top rope! He went underneath the bottom rope!
:'''Jerry''': Santino's still in this... ''[Alberto turns around and walks into Santino's Cobra]''
:'''Michael''': The Cobra! The Cobra! Oh my God! Oh my God! The biggest upset in Rumble history! This is gonna be the biggest upset in Rumble history!
:'''Jerry''': Throw him out, Santino! Throw him out!
:'''Michael''': Santino is gonna go to WrestleMania! Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me!
:'''Jerry''': No, this is great!
:'''Michael''': You gotta be kidding me!
:''[Santino runs Alberto to the ropes, but Alberto reverse the run and sends Santino flying out of the ring, finally winning the Rumble]''
:'''Michael''': Del Rio!
:'''Matt''': One more time! Alberto Del Rio is on his way to the main event at WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In the ring, Rodriguez is singing Del Rio's praises in Spanish]''
:'''Michael''': Viva Del Rio!  Viva Del Rio!
:'''Jerry''': Can I press 1 for English?

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2012)|2012]]==

:'''Michael Cole''': The thing is, Kane says Cena and, in turn, the WWE Universe not embracing hate is a cowardly act. And that's the words of Kane. They live lives filled with delusions, they all wanna cheer for John Cena or at least be a part of his life, or they wanna boo him. They want to live vicariously through Cena. That is a cowardly way out, in Kane's estimation.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Well, if you're gonna try to make sense out of anything that Kane thinks, good luck.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[after John Laurinaitis ejects Vickie Guerrero from ringside]'' Remember, CM Punk defeated Jack Swagger a couple of weeks ago. With that victory, it ensured that Swagger and Guerrero would not be at ringside for this match-up. Great move by Laurinaitis.
:'''Booker T''': I just think he's sucking up.
:'''Michael''': Here we go, Punk roll-up, shoulders down, and a kick-out. Sucking up? He followed the rules, Booker. I mean, give the man some credit for once in your life. What, did you have an issue back in the day of WCW with Johnny? That's why you're all upset with this man? Because he was a better worker than you? Because he was a better wrestler than you?
:'''Booker''': ''[clearly in disbelief]'' What? You gotta be kidding me.
:'''Michael''': I mean, come on now. John Laurinaitis is...he's awesome!
:'''Booker''': You're talking about a guy who has done nothing in this business, right?
:'''Michael''': Who, John? He was a world champion in Japan. That's what he was.
:'''Booker''': In Japan.
:'''Michael''': Yes.
:'''Jerry''': In the world of Japan.
:'''Booker''': Yeah, the world of Japan.
:'''Jerry''': John Laurinaitis right now... I know you say he's got a lot of things on his plate, a lot of things to take care and be concerned with, but he's got his phone out, he's texting out here.
:'''Michael''': He just texted me to tell me what a wonderful job I'm doing tonight and how glad he is to have me calling the Rumble.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[on Vickie Guerrero]'' She's quite enamored with Dolph Ziggler. Unfortunately, he's already found the love of his life; too bad he can't marry himself.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': ''[to Laurinaitis]'' Next GTS is for you, Clownshoes!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Miz''': Every Superstar backstage has been snickering at me all day. They think I'm actually bothered by the fact that I'm the #1 entry in the Royal Rumble match. They think it scares me. They think I'm intimidated by it. They think I don... they don't think I will make it to the end. But those are the same people, the same Superstars that told me I would never main-event WrestleMania, that I would never be in the main event, that I would never be in this ring a WWE Champion! Every time they have denied me, I have went above and beyond and proved them wrong, and tonight will be no different. I may be the first one out here, but I will be the last man standing, and I will go on to headline WrestleMania XXVIII because I'm the Miz, and I'm...awesome!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Buzzer sounds for entry #8. Alberto Del Rio's music plays]''
:'''Michael''': Hey, hey, hey, hey!
:'''Booker''': What the hell?
:'''Michael''': Alberto Del Rio's back! Alberto Del Rio, last year's Royal Rumble match winner, is back! ''[Car horn honks]'' Oh, this is gonna be awesome!
:''[The car producing the horn drives out.]''
:'''Jerry''': What is that?!
:'''Booker''': What the hell? We got an old 280 Datsun? 280ZX?
:'''Jerry''': Hey, that's not Alberto Del Rio! Look!
:'''Booker''': Worth about $600.
:'''Michael''': ''[as the driver reveals himself to be...]'' Is that... is that Ricardo?!
:'''Jerry''': I don't know, but his back window is a Hefty bag.
:'''Michael''': It's Del Rio's personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez.
:'''Jerry''': And that's his car?!
:'''Michael''': Well, yeah, you know, he's...never been champion.
:'''Booker''': Wow, a vintage 1985 Datsun 280Z.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Kofi in trouble from the top rope.
:'''Booker''': He needs a little bit of help right now. Kofi needs a little help.
:''[Buzzer sounds for entry #12. Jerry's music plays]''
:'''Jerry''': Yes, he does, and you know what? What would a Royal Rumble be without a little royalty?!
:'''Michael''': ''[as Jerry removes his headset and sweatshirt]'' You've gotta be kidding me! What are you doing?!
:'''Booker''': You didn't tell me you was in it, King!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Booker''': ''[after Jerry drops a fist on the Miz]'' Vintage King right there, baby.
:'''Michael''': Oh, now you're stealing my lines!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': No announcer should enter the Royal Rumble match.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': As we get ready for #17.
:'''Jerry''': Who's it gonna be?
:''[Buzzer sounds. Booker T.'s music plays]''
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Michael''': NOW YOU?!?!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! NOW YOU?!
:'''Jerry''': Go get em, Booker! Go get em, sucka!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Kofi still alive. Hands on the floor. Remember, both feet have to hit the floor. ''[Miz pushes Kofi's legs away]'' Oh, my God. Dangerous situation.
:''[Kofi, now out of the ring, walks on his hands to the steps]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, look at this!
:'''Michael''': Oh, my God.
:'''Jerry''': LOOK AT THIS!
:'''Michael''': ''[as Kofi lands his feet on the steps, crawls backwards onto them, and reenters the ring]'' ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
:'''Jerry''': He saved himself!
:'''Michael''': ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
:'''Jerry''': Kofi Kingston, what a move!
:'''Michael''': That's gotta be the greatest thing I've ever seen!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Who's gonna enter at #20? I think I know. I got a hunch. I got a hunch. ''[Buzzer sounds, Nickelback's &quot;Burn It to the Ground&quot; plays, and Michael Cole is revealed as #20. He immediately undresses, revealing his orange singlet]'' YES! YES! YES!
:'''Jerry''': Oh, tell me this is not so. Tell me that Michael Cole is not entering...
:'''Booker''': What the hell you doing? You're not in the Rumble!
:'''Jerry''': Keep your pants on, nobody wants to see... just get in there!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Look at Cole avoiding any contact with anybody.
:'''Booker''': Look at his stomach. I mean, he looks like he's been eating donuts all month.
:'''Jerry''': That's the way he works out. ''[Buzzer sounds for #21]'' Somebody get in there and get him.
:'''Booker''': Don't that just break your...  ''[A cackle is heard and Michael Cole is instantly afraid]'' ohhhh....
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?! Wait a minute there, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
:'''Booker''': ''[as #21, Kharma, walks to the ring]'' Aww, wait a minute!
:'''Jerry''': ''[laughing]'' Kharma!
:'''Booker''': King, check this out. This is only the third time something like this has ever happened. Kharma is about to break somebody off a little something proper-like, dog!
:'''Jerry''': Oh, I hope she goes right after Cole!
:'''Booker''': I hope she just eat him like a piece of chicken!
:'''Jerry''': Michael Cole is already crying, I see tears running down... ''[Kharma clotheslines Michael]'' Oh, yes! She knocked his headgear right off!
:'''Booker''': She's looking at that boy like a chicken bone! She's fixing to eat!
:''[Michael climbs over the ropes]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, look at Cole.
:'''Booker''': King, come on.
:''[As Michael begs Kharma to go easy on him, Jerry and Booker leave the table and take his legs out from under Michael, eliminating him]''
:...
:'''Booker''': Cole, you okay?
:'''Michael''': You guys just cost me my spot at WrestleMania! I was gonna win the thing!
:'''Booker''': Trying to help you out, dog.
:'''Michael''': I didn't wanna touch a woman, that was why I climbed over the top rope!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Chris Jericho tries the Codebreaker on Sheamus, he gets caught and dumped over the top rope, but hangs on, avoiding the floor]''
:'''Michael''': No, they didn't hit. The referee's right there; his feet did not hit the floor. This match continues.
:'''Jerry''': ''[as Jericho gets back onto the ring]'' Once again, Jericho teeters and holds on for dear life.
:''[Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Jericho]''
:'''Michael''': Oh, Brogue Kick!
:''[Jericho falls to the floor, winning the Rumble for Sheamus]''
:'''Booker''': Oh my goodness!
:'''Michael''': Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Justin Roberts''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble: Sheamus!
:'''Michael''': Ladies and gentlemen, the Great White is gonna be on the prowl on South Beach! Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2013)|2013]]==

:'''Kane''': They said we were dysfunctional, but we're ''still'' the Tag Team Champions!
:'''Daniel Bryan''': Still the Tag Team Champions!
:'''Vickie Guerrero''': Excuse me. Excuse me! Daniel, Kane, as managing supervisor of ''Raw'', I am happy to give you your entry numbers into the Royal Rumble match. ''[Hands over two sealed envelopes]'' Good luck.
:''[She chuckles and leaves as Daniel and Kane open their envelopes. Kane looks at his and shrugs while Daniel points at his.]''
:'''Kane''': Interesting.
:'''Daniel''': Well?
:'''Kane''': Well, what?
:'''Daniel''': Aren't...aren't you gonna show me?
:'''Kane''': Show you what?
:'''Daniel''': Show me your number.
:'''Kane''': Oh. Let me think about it for a second. No!
:'''Daniel''': &quot;No&quot;? What do you mean, &quot;no&quot;?! It's the rules!
:'''Kane''': Trust me. You would feel very inadequate.
:'''Daniel''': Wh...what does that mean? Just show it to me!
:'''Kane''': Daniel, it's bad strategy to reveal your number before a Royal Rumble match to ''anyone!'' See you out there, partner.
:'''Daniel''': Not if I see you ''first!''
:'''Kane''': ''[holding up envelope]'' Yeah, that's ''highly'' unlikely.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dolph Ziggler''': I stand before you all alone in the spotlight, exactly where I belong. And tonight, when this Royal Rumble match comes to a close, it's gonna be exactly the same—me standing in the middle of this ring all by myself as the winner of the Royal Rumble match!
:'''Michael Cole''': Only twice in history has someone won from the #1 spot. Only twice in history...
:'''Dolph''': And I don't even care who #2 is, so just send him out already.
:'''Michael''': Well, only twice in history has someone won from the #2 position. The question is, who will be the man to start the Rumble match against Dolph Ziggler?
:'''Loudspeaker''': BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
:'''Michael''': Oh, my!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YOU'VE STILL GOT IT!
:'''Chris Jericho''': I never lost it, baby!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[on entry #9]'' It is the Harvard Law School graduate, David Otunga.
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': All right! Jennifer Hudson's husband!
:'''Michael''': Otunga entering his third Royal Rumble match. All three of us here at ringside have been part of the Royal Rumble match. John, you've actually been in five in your career; one year, you lasted nearly 36 minutes, as Otunga goes right after Goldust.
:'''JBL''': You'd been in one, hadn't you, Michael?
:'''Michael''': Yeah, last year, I lasted...
:'''JBL''': How long did you last?
:'''Michael''': Almost two minutes.
:'''JBL''': Did anybody last less than you?
:'''Michael''': Yes.
:'''JBL''': Who?
:'''Michael''': Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler.
:'''JBL''': How long did he last?
:'''Michael''': Less than a minute.
:'''JBL''': You lasted longer than Jerry Lawler?
:'''Michael''': Yes.
:'''JBL''': Wow. Did you beat him at WrestleMania too?
:'''Michael''': Yes.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Hey, listen. I've stopped listening, you can stop talking.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Kofi just landed on Tensai's back! Kofi's still alive!
:'''JBL''': Wait a minute, Kofi's not disqualified!
:'''Michael''': No, Kofi's still alive. ''[Tensai puts Kofi Kingston on the Spanish announce table]'' Kofi didn't hit the floor. Tensai...they gotta get Tensai out of here.
:'''Jerry''' Now what's Kofi gonna do?
:'''Michael''': Oh, he's in a predicated now because Kofi's not been eliminated. But how the hell can Kofi Kingston get back to the ring? It's impossible.
:'''JBL''': He's like a bird when the world's on fire! Where do you land?! ''[Kingston is now standing on the table, considering jumping to the ring]'' What's he gonna do now?
:'''Michael''': What did they use to do in ''Star Trek'', teleport themselves? That's what Kofi'd better try to do here.
:'''JBL''': Jump! Jump, Carl Lewis, jump for it!
:'''Jerry''': I don't think there's anybody that's gonna beam...
:'''JBL''': He's gonna try! Jump for it!
:'''Jerry''': ...beam him all the way into the ring.
:''[A few moments later...]''
:'''Kofi Kingston''': ''[to JBL]'' The chair!
:'''JBL''': For what?
:'''Kingston''': Come on, just give me your chair!
:'''JBL''': Chair for what?
:'''Michael''': Come on, just give him your chair. He wants it.
:'''JBL''': ''[getting up]'' I gotta see this. I've gotta see this. ''[JBL hands his chair to Kingston]'' I gotta see this! I gotta see this! This is gonna be good! I don't know what he's gonna do!
:''[A few more moments later...]''
:'''Michael''': Meanwhile, high drama, high drama building ringside.
:'''JBL''': ''[as Kingston stands on the chair]'' This is unbelievable!
:'''Michael''': Kofi's not been eliminated. Kingston is still alive.
:''[Kofi starts jumping with the chair towards the ring]''
:'''JBL''': I love it!
:'''Jerry''': Look at the referees staring Kofi down.
:'''JBL''': This is awesome! This is incredible!
:'''Michael''': He's using the chair like a pogo stick!
:'''JBL''': I get an assist!
:'''Michael''': Kofi Kingston, give the assist to Bradshaw...
:''[Kingston gets onto the ring apron and the referees give the safe signal]''
:'''JBL''': That's the craziest thing I've ever seen!
:'''Michael''': I can't believe it!
:'''Jerry''': Kofi's safe.
:'''JBL''': Kofi's still in the Rumble! Now give me my chair back!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[on entry #17: The Godfather, accompanied by two lovely ladies]'' From Vegas! He brought his [[w:Groupie|Rat]] Pack!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ryback carries John Cena, who escapes and pushes Ryback...]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa...
:''[...over the top rope to the floor, winning the Rumble]''
:'''Michael''': Ryback eliminated!
:'''JBL''': HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE!
:'''Michael''': John Cena is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Justin Roberts''': The winner of the Royal Rumble: John Cena!
:'''Jerry''': John Cena has done it!
:'''JBL''': The 10-time WWE Champion is going back to the dance, to the main stage, to the grandest of them all, WrestleMania!
:'''Michael''': John Cena has made history tonight. John Cena becomes only the fourth man to win two Royal Rumble matches.
:''[John points to the WrestleMania logo and the fireworks go off]''
:'''JBL''': There was Austin, there was Shawn Michaels, there was Hogan, and now there's Cena!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': I think we are gonna see the most electrifying move in all of sports!
:'''Michael''': Look at the people! Look at the people!
:'''Jerry''': That's because it's the People's Elbow!
:''[Just before The Rock can hit the Elbow, the entire arena goes dark. The following is unseen]''
:'''JBL''': What's happening?
:'''Michael''': What the... who the hell?! Wait a minute! Someone's destroying our announce table! Who the hell is that?! They're attacking Rock! Holy cow, King! King, look at who that is! Oh, my God, it's The Shield!
:'''Jerry''': No!
:'''Michael''': The Shield! The Shield! That was The Shield! And they just triple-powerbombed Rock through the table! ''[The lights come back on, revealing The Rock laid out on the dismantled announce table, CM Punk lying in the ring]'' Ladies and gentlemen, th...King, that was The Shield!
:'''JBL''': The referee didn't see it! The referee doesn't see it! He has no idea The Shield did that! He's got no idea!
:'''Michael''': ''[referee Mike]'' Chioda, that was The Shield!
:'''JBL''': Shut up, you stooge!
:'''Michael''': I think they did something to the referee too! I think The Shield did something to the referee!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': It was The Shield! The Shield was out here, Punk, and put the guy through the table!
:'''CM Punk''': Who?
:'''Michael''': The Shield, that's who!
:'''CM Punk''': I have nothing to do with The Shield!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': Day 435 will be tomorrow for CM Punk! Admit it now, Michael! He's the best in the world!
:'''Justin''': The winner of this match and still WWE Champion: CM Punk!
:'''Michael''': This is absolutely horrendous!
:'''JBL''': It's all fair, Michael, in love and war! CM Punk is the best in the world! Now would you please acknowledge...
:'''Jerry''': No, we're gonna acknowledge it.
:'''Michael''': How is that fair?! We watched The Shield, three feet away from us, walk out here and triple-bomb The Rock through a table!
:'''JBL''': Michael, I saw the exact same thing you saw! Michael Chioda, the referee, didn't see it! CM Punk is about to leave the Royal Rumble Champion!
:'''Jerry''': So you're saying it's not cheating if you don't get caught.
:'''JBL''': That is ex...oh, ''you're'' one to talk, King!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Seems to me that, CM Punk, your celebration is over! I told you if The Shield got involved in your match-up, we would strip you of the Championship!
:'''Michael''': Yeah! Yeah!
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Oh, I know! I know, technically, we couldn't ''see'' The Shield involved, right? So that means we're all stupid, it wasn't The Shield? CM Punk, it is my duty as Chairman of the Board...
:'''Jerry''': Oh boy. Yeah!
:'''JBL''': Oh, shut up, cheerleader.
:'''Jerry''': Oh boy!
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ...to officially...
:'''The Rock''': No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We ain't ending this night like that. You don't take it from him. ''I'' am. Restart the match now!
:'''CM Punk''': This match is over!
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[after a few moments of deliberation]'' You heard the man, restart the match!
:'''Michael''': That's why The Rock's the People's Champion! Give the people what they want! Give them a conclusion!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': This is vintage Rock!
:'''Jerry''': Here it comes! Another People's Elbow! ''[Rock hits the Elbow on Punk]'' Yes!
:'''JBL''': What do you gotta do to beat this guy?!
:'''Michael''': Cover, hook of the leg. ''[Chioda counts to three]'' THE ROCK HAS DONE IT! THE ROCK HAS DONE IT! THE ROCK HAS DONE IT!
:'''JBL''': ''[over Cole]'' You're kidding me! You're kidding me!
:'''Justin''': The winner of this match...and NEW WWE Champion: The Rock!
:'''Michael''': The ten-year wait is over!
:'''JBL''': Unbelievable!
:'''Michael''': The Rock is again People's Champion!
:'''JBL''': Ten years, just like Muhammad Ali came back and won the World Championship, The Rock, the Great One!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2014)|2014]]==

:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': ''[on Bray Wyatt's backwards crab walk]'' This freak needs an exorcist.
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Yeah. Linda Blair.
:'''Jerry''': She was ''not'' the Exorcist.
:'''Michael Cole''': No, she was the one that needed to be exorcised. That was so long ago, I don't think anyone remembers. That was, like, the early 70s.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Fans''': ''[chant during the Bryan-Wyatt match]'' THIS IS AWESOME!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Renee Young''': Randy, tonight you put your championship on the line against John Cena. I mean, this is a man that is...
:'''Randy Orton''': This is a man, Renee, that I've beaten. But you already know that, everybody knows that. But after tonight, when I beat him again, John Cena goes to the back of the line.
:'''Renee''': That's actually an interesting choice of words, Randy, 'cause right now, it seems that there's quite a line formed to challenge you for your championship. Brock Lesnar's made it clear that he wants to come after your championship; Batista now back in WWE after being gone for four years, ''he'' wants a shot at your championship. If you retain your title tonight, the winner of the Royal Rumble will go on to face you at WrestleMania. And now with Bray Wyatt fresh off of his victory over Daniel Bryan, he's now thrown his hat into the ring.
:'''Randy''': Renee, Renee, when you're on top of the mountain, people are gonna want a shot. That's just how this business works, that's why that line is forming. But no one's gonna touch me. See, Brock Lesnar, Dave Batista, they're good, but they're not great...like me. Bray Wyatt? I mean, he's a ''Duck Dynasty'' reject, for God's sakes. He's definitely not &quot;face of the WWE&quot; material, like me. I'm the true face, the one and only face. It's not Brock, Batista, CM Punk or Daniel Bryan, and it certainly isn't that deranged hillbilly who sits in a rocking chair every once in a while. No, and I'm gonna make sure tonight that once and for all, everyone knows that it is definitely not John Cena either.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Chants during the Cena-Orton match]''
:'''Fans''': DANIEL BRYAN!
:RANDY SAVAGE!
:Y2J!
:YOU BOTH SUCK!
:THIS IS AWFUL!
:WE WANT DIVAS!
:''[after the Wyatt Family's interference costs Cena the match]'' THANK YOU, WYATT!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Behold the creators of the new world!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Kofi Kingston on the barricade. Kofi Kingston went over the top rope, guys, but remember he's not been eliminated.
:'''JBL''': That's right, Kofi Kingston's still in it.
:'''Michael''': Kofi Kingston has been a highlight reel of spectacular moves in the past...
:'''Jerry''': Guys, guys, come on, he's a mile away from the ring.
:'''JBL''': He is that.
:'''Jerry''': I know he's not out, but he might as well be.
:'''JBL''': Last year, he borrowed my chair.
:''[Kofi Kingston walks back on the barricade]''
:'''Michael''': What is Kofi gonna do here?
:'''JBL''': He'll do what he can do. What's he trying to do?
:'''Jerry''': I don't think he can fly.
:'''JBL''': He can't fly. This is impossible.
:'''Michael''': Kofi King...
:''[Kingston runs on the barricade and leaps onto the ring and re-enters]'' 
:'''Michael and JBL''': YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''JBL''': Kofi Kingston just turned into [[w:Bob Beamon|Bob Beamon]]!
:'''Michael''': He's hopped on chairs, he's walked on his hands, he's used a human bridge.
:'''JBL''': Unbelievable!
:'''Michael''': ''[cont'd]'' He's leaped from the barricade to the ring. He's the Royal Rumble Highlight Reel!
:'''Jerry''': Guys, I just said he can't fly, but I believe he can.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[after the buzzer sounds for entry #20]'' Los Matadores! Which one, though?
:'''Michael''': Diego and Fernando. And of course, ''[El Torito charges through their capes]'' they brought the bull. ''[El Torito charges to the ring]'' Hey, wait a minute! El Torito is in the Rumble?!
:'''Jerry''': I think he is!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[after Fandango nails El Torito in the head]'' PETA's gonna be upset about that. You can't abuse a bull. I hear Mantaur's his grandfather.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': JBL, you seem to know all your Royal Rumble facts. Has somebody won from every position of entering?
:'''JBL''': No, they haven't. #6, #7, #9, #10, there's a few spots that nobody has won.
:'''Michael''': You have ''way'' too much time on your hands.
:'''JBL''': It's called research, guys. It's what I do.
:'''Jerry''': He knows Willie Nelson's middle name.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Fans''': ''[after all participants had entered the Rumble]'' DANIEL BRYAN!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': It's a Roman Reigns moment. Is it his night? ''[Reigns flings Batista, but Batista reverses and tosses Reigns out, winning the Rumble]'' Roman Reigns eliminated! Batista's going to WrestleMania!
:'''Justin Roberts''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble: Batista!
:'''Michael''': Batista is going to headline WrestleMania XXX for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship!
:'''JBL''': What a showing, though, by Roman Reigns. 13 Superstars eliminated by that one man.

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2015)|2015]]==

:'''Michael Cole''': ''[on entry #3: Bubba Ray Dudley]'' OH MY!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': WHAT?! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
:'''Michael''': Welcome home to Philly!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Crowd''': ''[when Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper team up on Bubba Ray]'' WE WANT D-VON!
:''[after Daniel Bryan's somewhat early elimination]'' DANIEL BRYAN!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[having eliminated four people]'' Open invitation! Everyone in the back, I hope you got the message! This is Bray Wyatt's year!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[as Bray Wyatt stands alone]'' Remember, Roman Reigns set the record last year—12 eliminations in a single Rumble.
:'''Wyatt''': ''[over Cole]'' Not a damn one of you's takin' it! Not a damn one of you's takin' it!
:'''Michael''': ''[cont'd]'' Bray Wyatt is at five.
:'''Wyatt''': All of you left, let's keep this Rumble going!
:'''Michael''': #10 will soon be on his way. What a performance so far, guys, by Bray Wyatt.
:'''Jerry''': Just waiting.
:'''Wyatt''': It's only gonna take me about half a minute!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': ''[on Daniel Bryan]'' Chinese calendar says 2015 is the year of the goat; we're about to find out if that's true!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''JBL''': ''[on entry #18: Adam Rose, accompanied by his Rosebuds]'' First Royal Rumble. Three people had a 100% success rate in the Royal Rumble—Brock Lesnar, Big John Studd, and Mr. McMahon.
:''[As he says this, {{w|Alexander Rusev|Rusev}} throws Kofi Kingston out of the ring over Adam's head, but Kingston is caught by the Rosebuds]''
:'''Michael''': Lookit!
:'''JBL''': ''[as the Rosebuds carry Kingston around the corner]'' But Kofi's not on the ground. Kofi's not on the ground.
:'''Jerry''': Thrown all the way over the top rope, ''[Rusev flings Rose into the ring]'' but caught by the Rosebuds.
:'''Michael''': Both feet have to hit the floor, ''[The Rosebuds prop Kingston onto the ring, then make their way back]'' and Kofi Kingston...
:'''JBL''': Those idiot Rosebuds! How stupid can they possibly be?!
:''[As he says this, Rusev eliminates Rose on the same side as Kingston, who rolls back in]''
:'''Michael''': Adam Rose eliminated by Rusev!
:'''Jerry''': And no Rosebuds to catch him!
:'''JBL''': Where were the Rosebuds?! Where did they go?! What a bunch of goofs. You can't trust a guy that dresses up like a hot dog!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Crowd''': ''[furious, pissed off and frustrated, when Big Show, Kane, and Roman are alone in the ring]'' BULLSHIT!
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[hearing the negative chant reaction from the fans]'' WWE fans, of course, not happy with the elimination of the, the likes of Daniel Bryan and Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler here tonight, after the absolute dominance here in the last few minutes by Big Show and Kane.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Kane and Big Show try to eliminate Roman]''
:'''Jerry''': Like you said, Michael, what's gonna happen between Kane and Big Show when they get rid of Roman Reigns? ''[Big Show tries to push Kane out with Roman] There's'' what's gonna happen! Look!
:''[Kane elbows Big Show, then confronts him]''
:'''Michael''': Big Show, I think...I think he was trying to keep Kane in the match.
:'''Jerry''': I don't think so. I think he was trying to eliminate Kane and Roman Reigns at the same time.
:''[Kane and Big Show start trading blows]''
:'''Michael''': That's what Kane believes.
:'''Jerry''': Here they go!
:'''JBL''': Haymakers landed by these two massive men. ''[Both grab each other by the neck near the ropes]'' This is a test of wills right here.
:''[Roman picks up both men's feet...]''
:'''Michael''': Hey, Roman Reigns! Roman Reigns!
:'''Jerry''': He's got 'em! Can he do it?!
:''[...and pushes both over and out of the ring, seemingly winning the Rumble]''
:'''Michael''': Eliminates both men! Eliminates Big Show and Kane! Roman Reigns!
:'''Jerry''': Roman Reigns has won the Royal Rumble!
:'''JBL''': Roman Reigns is headed to WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Rusev, who'd been out of the ring for a little over nine minutes, re-enters]''
:'''Michael''': Guys, guys, guys, Rusev's in this! Spear! Looking back, Rusev was never eliminated!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Michael''': Rusev is still in this match! Rusev entered at #15, and looking back at my notes...
:'''Jerry''': I thought he was gone!
:'''Michael''': No, Rusev was never eliminated!
:'''Jerry''': Well, wait a minute!
:''[Roman tosses Rusev out, finally winning the Rumble]''
:'''Michael''': But now he is! Roman Reigns is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here is your winner: Roman Reigns!
:'''Michael''': We have witnessed the advent of Roman Reigns! Last year, he tasted it as runner-up; this year, he wins it!
:'''JBL''': ''[on Brock Lesnar watching in the locker room]'' That's the prize that awaits Roman Reigns—Brock Lesnar.

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2016)|2016]]==

:''[Buzzer sounds for entry #3. An unfamiliar theme plays, and the TitanTron reads, &quot;I am.&quot; As it reveals &quot;phenomenal,&quot; the crowd erupts at the entrance of...]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Is it? Can it be?!
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': It is!
:'''Michael''': The Phenomenal One is here! {{w|A.J. Styles|AJ Styles}}!
:'''Byron Saxton''': Oh my God!
:'''Michael''': It has been rumored for weeks that the hottest free agent in sports entertainment was heading to WWE! Styles is here!
:'''JBL''': Former IWGP Champion, same as Brock Lesnar!
:'''Byron''': An 18-year veteran, a mastermind of offensive innovation.
:'''Michael''': A star around the world. Roman Reigns realizes what he faces now.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': And entering at #12 is R-Truth. R-Truth's eighth Royal Rumble Match.
:'''Bryon''': I'm just happy he knew what day the Royal Rumble was on.
:''[Once R-Truth gets to the ring, he pulls a ladder out from underneath and pushes it in]''
:'''Michael''': What is he doing? ''[R-Truth sets the ladder up in the ring]'' John, do you have any idea what he's doing?
:'''JBL''': I know what he's doing, Michael; I don't know why. He's...putting the ladder in the ring, but I don't know why.
:''[R-Truth climbs the ladder as everyone else in the ring stops to look at him.]''
:'''Michael''': Wait, wait, wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no. ''[R-Truth reaches the top of the ladder and looks up to find nothing there.]'' I think R-Truth thinks this is a ladder match for the Championship.
:'''JBL''': That young man is not all there.
:'''Michael''': I think he was expecting the WWE World Title to be hung above the ring, and he'd climb the ladder to grab it.
:''[Kane pulls R-Truth down]''
:'''JBL''': That's the wrong event.
:'''Michael''': ''[during this, Kane grabs R-Truth by the neck, and pushes to eliminate him]'' Either that or the briefcase, maybe he thought it was the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, and he's eliminated by Kane.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kevin Owens''': ''[to AJ Styles, before eliminating him]'' Welcome to the WWE!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Sheamus is about to hit a second Brogue Kick on Dean Ambrose, but Ambrose ducks in the nick of time]''
:'''Michael''': Sheamus missed; got hung up on the top rope! Sheamus barely hanging on. ''[Suddenly, Roman Reigns charges from behind and hits the Superman Punch on Sheamus. The momentum carries Sheamus over the top rope and eliminates him]'' SUPERMAN PUNCH! Sweet, sweet revenge!
:'''Byron''': ''[While Reigns' back is turned, Triple H (who entered at #30) dumps him over the top rope...]'' Whoa, wait a...
:'''Michael''': ''[...and eliminates him]'' ROMAN REIGNS ELIMINATED!
:'''Byron''': Oh my gosh. ''[Triple H performs the &quot;DX Chop&quot; in celebration]''
:'''Michael''': Roman Reigns is no longer champion! We are guaranteed to have a new WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and it's going to be Triple H or Dean Ambrose! The Authority and Mr. McMahon finally did it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Ambrose... ''[Dean Ambrose throws Triple H over the top rope]'' Triple H OVER THE TOP ROPE! AMBROSE'S GONNA DO IT! ''[But Triple H hangs on to the rope]'' AMBROSE'S GONNA DO IT!
:'''Byron''': Wait, he hung on! He hung on!
:'''Michael''': ''[Ambrose spears Triple H, but Triple H retains his grip on the rope]'' Triple H still hanging on! ''[Ambrose charges again]'' Is this gonna be it?!?
:'''JBL''': Here we go! ''[Triple H sticks his knee out, and Ambrose runs into it]''
:'''Michael''': Triple H caught him with a knee to the face! How the hell is Triple H still in this match? ''[While Ambrose is stunned, Triple H takes Ambrose over the top rope]''
:'''Byron''': Oh... oh... ''[Triple H eliminates Ambrose, winning the Rumble and the WWE World Heavyweight Championship]''
:'''Michael''': AMBROSE ELIMINATED! TRIPLE H IS A 14-TIME WWE CHAMPION!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Ladies and gentlemen, your Royal Rumble winner, and the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H!
:'''Michael''': Triple H is a 14-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion! Triple H will main event WrestleMania!
:'''Byron''': I can't believe what I'm seeing right now!
:'''Michael''': ''[Stephanie McMahon enters the ring and embraces Triple H, while Mr. McMahon stands on the apron]'' And Stephanie McMahon in the ring celebrating with her husband, as is Mr. McMahon.
:'''JBL''': What a great night for the Authority!
:'''Michael''': What an incredible Royal Rumble match!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2017)|2017]]==

:'''Dean Ambrose''': ''[after Sami Zayn asks to have his number read to him]'' 8. Sorry, I was holding it upside-down. ''[Turns the slip over]'' 8.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Enzo Amore''': My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G and a bona fide stud, and you can't teach that! And this right here?! This is Big Cass, and he's...
:'''Crowd''': ''[continuing]'' ...seven foot tall, and you can't teach that!
:'''Enzo''': And he is the #1 entry in the Royal Rumble Match, and you can't teach that! Bada boom, realest guys in the room! How you doin'!
:'''Corey Graves''': If it were up to me, Enzo would be searching for Pee Wee Herman's bike in the basement of the Alamo right now.
:'''Enzo''': ''[singing with crowd] The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart...''
:'''Crowd''': ''..of Texas!''
:'''Enzo''': And there ain't no two stars shining brighter tonight than your boys Enzo and Big Cass! San Antonio, how you doin'!
:'''Corey''': King, I've had root canals I've enjoyed more than this.
:'''Enzo''': Cass, I've got a question for you.
:'''Big Cass''': What's that, Zo?
:'''Enzo''': Pretty much common knowledge, I think. What is it that they say about Texas?
:'''Big Cass''': Hmm, I think it goes something like this: everything is bigger in Texas!
:'''Enzo''': You're darn skippy, Cass! Because tonight is the biggest Royal Rumble Match of all time, and it has some of the biggest names in the history of the Royal Rumble!
:'''Big Cass''': What kinda names we talking here, Zo?
:'''Enzo''': ''[crowd shouts &quot;how you doin'&quot; after each name]'' Brock Lesnar, Braun Strowman, the Big Show, Goldberg, the Wyatt Family, the Undertaker. But I'll tell you what. None of that matters, 'cause Big Cass is entering this ring #1 like it's 1995 and he is HBK in his prime!
:'''Big Cass''': It doesn't matter if you're #2 or #30, 'cause the fact of the matter is this. When the dust settles, I will be the LAST man standing in that ring right there! Because I am winning the Royal Rumble Match, and I am going on to main-event WrestleMania.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Sounds pretty confident. Would that be your worst nightmare, Corey?
:'''Corey''': Yes.
:'''Big Cass''': And as for the 29 other men in this match, I will prove that there's only ''[crowd joins in]'' ONE WORD to describe you, and I'm gonna spell it out for ya! S-A-W-F-T!
:'''Crowd''': SAWFT!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Every time I see Braun Strowman, I wonder where he parked his blue ox.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On entry #11: James Ellsworth]''
:'''Jerry''': Wait a minute.
:'''Michael Cole''': Well, I guess the WWE Universe has spoken. James Ellsworth has been all over social media lobbying for a spot in this match-up. And there's, I guess, his new girlfriend, Corey? Carmella?
:'''Corey''': Carmella's the best possible thing that could've happened to Ellsworth. Ellsworth's career has skyrocketed since these two came together.
:'''Jerry''': This guy's a total waste of skin. How on Earth did he get a place in the Royal Rumble?
:'''Corey''': King, James Ellsworth has taken AJ Styles to the limit on multiple occasions.
:'''Jerry''': You just like him because you two obviously share the same barber.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': Zayn with a big Helluva Kick!
:'''Jerry''': Caught him right in the jaw.
:'''Michael''': And now Corbin... ''[Baron Corbin clotheslines Braun Strowman out of the ring, eliminating him]'' ELIMINATES STROWMAN! CORBIN ELIMINATES STROWMAN! CORBIN ELIMINATES STROWMAN!
:'''Corey''': Michael Cole, you've been asking me for months: how do you stop Braun Strowman? You do it with a Lone Wolf!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Brock Lesnar has beaten down everybody as the clock ticks down]''
:'''Michael''': #27, the luckiest number in the field. Four winners over the years from this spot. Who has it?
:''[Buzzer sounds. Enzo Amore and Big Cass's music plays]''
:'''Corey''': Wait a minute, King.
:'''Jerry''': What?
:'''Corey''': I think I know what this means.
:'''Michael''': Yeah, Corey, you could get your wish.
:'''Corey''': Oh, my God, this may be the greatest moment of my life. ''[Entry #27, Enzo Amore, enters]'' This idiot, Enzo Amore, is gonna have to go face-to-face with the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar.
:'''Jerry''': This poor schmuck, just turn around and go back to the locker room.
:'''Corey''': Keep running, Enzo. Keep running straight ahead into the storm. I am begging you, Enzo.
:'''Michael''': Lesnar with a big smirk on his face.
:'''Corey''': Put your shirt back on and go back home, Enzo.
:'''Jerry''': Or just use it as a blindfold because you're about to be in front of a firing squad.
:''[Enzo runs at Lensar, who clotheslines him]''
:'''Michael''': Lesnar turned Enzo inside-out.
:'''Jerry''': Oh. He's history already. That didn't take long.
:''[Lensar nonchalantly tosses Enzo out of the ring, eliminating him]''
:'''Michael''': Enzo eliminated by Brock Lesnar.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': We are down to Reigns and Orton!
:'''Corey''': Reigns is gonna do it!
:'''Michael''': Will Roman Reigns win the Rumble match for the second time in three years?
:'''Corey''': I knew it all along. Roman Reigns is gonna...
:''[As Roman Reigns runs to spear Randy Orton, Orton catches him in the RKO]''
:'''Michael''': RKO! RKO by Randy Orton! ''[As Reigns gets to his feet, Orton clotheslines him out of the ring, winning the Rumble]'' Randy Orton wins the Rumble! Randy Orton's going to WrestleMania!
:'''Jerry''': I was right!
:'''JoJo Offerman''': Here is your winner: Randy Orton!
:'''Michael''': The Viper strikes WrestleMania paydirt!
:'''Jerry''': This is a Randy Orton rebirth! Amazing!
:'''Michael''': Randy Orton becomes the seventh man to win two or more Rumbles. Randy Orton's won his second Rumble in eight years.

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2018)|2018]]==

:'''Michael Cole''': ''[on the #11 entry, Sheamus]'' Representing The Bar, they have a Tag Team Championship opportunity later tonight, but it's the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus. Guys, back in 2012, Sheamus won the Royal Rumble Match.
:'''Byron Saxton''': Oh, not again, Heath.
:''[Sheamus tosses Heath Slater, who has been unable to enter the match in 11 minutes, into the ring]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': There, you got in the ring, Heath. He's in the ring. ''[The very moment Sheamus enters and stands upright, Heath clotheslines him out of the ring, eliminating him]'' AAHHH!
:'''Corey Graves''': Oh, no!
:'''Michael''': Oh, my God! Slater eliminated Sheamus on Sheamus's birthday! Tonight is Sheamus's birthday, and he was eliminated by Slater!
:'''Corey''': Sheamus's birthday's on Rusev Day?!
:'''Jerry''': That's the worst present ever. I can't believe it.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Roman Reigns has Shinsuke Nakamura on his shoulders and is attempting to eliminate him]''
:'''Michael''': Roman Reigns trying to power Shinsuke over the top. ''[Nakamura escapes Reigns' grasp and bounces off the ropes, missing a clothesline in the process]'' Reigns...
:'''Jerry''': ''[Nakamura slides and hits a Kinshasa on Reigns]'' Oh, no!
:'''Byron''': OH MY GOD!
:'''Michael''': Shinsuke connects, right in the face!
:'''Jerry''': Oh, no! No, Roman!
:'''Michael''': And now Shinsuke Nakamura... 
:'''Byron''': Oh wait, he got him!
:'''Jerry''': No no no no no no, wait! ACK!
:'''Michael''': ''[Nakamura throws Reigns out, winning the Rumble]'' ...ELIMINATES ROMAN REIGNS! SHINSUKE NAKAMURA IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Byron''': I called it! I called it!
:'''Greg Hamilton''': Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Shinsuke Nakamura!
:'''Michael''': Guys, Shinsuke Nakamura lasted almost 45 minutes in this match to pick up the victory in his Royal Rumble match debut tonight!
:'''Corey''': As much as Nakamura has accomplished in his storied career around the world, there is nobody that gets in this industry that doesn't dream of doing it at WrestleMania. Congratulations to the King of Strong Style!
:'''Byron''': 2 years ago to the month, Shinsuke Nakamura signed his WWE contract, and now Shinsuke Nakamura is headed to WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Renee Young''': So, Shinsuke, you've now won the right to face the champion of your choosing. So have you made a decision?
:''[Shinsuke pauses as the audience chant their choice]''
:'''Shinsuke Nakamura''': A...J...STYLES!!!
:'''Corey''': YES!
:'''Michael''': Corey, it is gonna happen. The match that the WWE Universe has wanted is gonna happen.
:'''Corey''': I could not be more excited for WrestleMania! Get me to New Orleans already! Nakamura and Styles for the WWE Championship!
:'''Byron''': The dream match, ladies and gentlemen, is going to come true.
:'''Michael''': 44 minutes, 40 seconds: the exact time that Shinsuke Nakamura lasted in the Royal Rumble. And yes indeed, Shin, you're going to WrestleMania.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': Boy, this has essentially become a singles match at this point. ''[Nikki Bella puts Asuka on her shoulders and prepares to throw her out]'' There's only one task left, and that's to throw your opponent over the top rope, which Nikki's about to do.
:'''Michael''': Asuka may be eliminated!
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': There she goes! There she goes!
:'''Michael''': ''[Bella takes Asuka over the top rope, but Asuka holds the top rope for dear life]'' Nikki Bella, with Asuka hanging on to the top rope, out to the apron!
:'''Stephanie''': She's still hanging on!
:'''Michael''': Asuka still barely in this match.
:'''Stephanie''': ''[Asuka stands up. Bella strikes Asuka, but Asuka continues to hold the ropes]'' OOH!
:'''Michael''': Nikki Bella again with a strong shot to the face, but Asuka lands on the apron!
:'''Stephanie''': I don't know how Asuka's hanging on, but she sure is. At least for now!
:'''Corey''': Disbelief on the face of Nikki.
:'''Michael''': ''[Bella charges at Asuka]'' Nikki Bella looking to use all of her momentum... 
:'''Stephanie''': Here comes Nikki!
:'''Michael''': ''[Bella runs into Asuka's boot]'' ...Asuka caught her with a kick!
:'''Corey''': ''[Asuka uses her foot to grab Bella by the neck, and then attempts to take Bella over the top rope]'' Uh-oh. Uh-oh!
:'''Michael''': And look at Asuka!
:'''Corey''': What is... 
:'''Stephanie''': ...What?
:'''Michael''': Asuka trying to eliminate Nikki in one of the most unique ways we've ever seen!
:'''Stephanie''': Oh my gosh! ''[Bella goes over the top rope, but falls to the apron]'' OH!
:'''Michael''': Nikki Bella to the apron! ''[Asuka loses her grip on the top rope and hits the apron]'' Asuka to the apron!
:'''Stephanie''': OH! Asuka almost fell!
:'''Corey''': Both women teetering on the side of the ring, just feet away from defeat.
:'''Michael''': ''[Bella gets up, and Asuka struggles to do the same]'' High stakes, high pressure! Asuka and Nikki Bella both on the apron. ''[Bella roundhouses Asuka, who falls back onto the apron]'' Both of them went over the top rope! Asuka floored! ''[Asuka kicks Bella's legs out from under her, sending her careening to the floor and winning the Rumble]'' ASUKA ELIMINATES NIKKI BELLA! 
:'''Stephanie''': OH! ASUKA DID IT! ''[applauds Asuka]''
:'''Michael''': ASUKA'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Stephanie''': Unbelievable!
:'''Corey''': ''[As he says this, the camera pans toward [[w:WWE Raw Women's Championship|Raw Women's Champion]] Alexa Bliss and [[w:WWE SmackDown Women's Championship|SmackDown Women's Champion]] Charlotte Flair, both sitting across from each other near the announcer's table]'' I knew it! I called it from the start! There was never any doubt! No one was ready for Asuka!
:'''Michael''': Asuka is a history-maker! Asuka is going to WrestleMania!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2019)|2019]]==

:'''Corey Graves''': Smart strategy by Banks, staying in close quarters with Ronda. I was questioning, I didn't know if that would be a great decision. Sasha's done it very, very well up to this point.
:'''Renee Young''': Wow, an accolade from Graves! I appreciate that.
:'''Corey''': I've never questioned Sasha Banks's talent or her abilities; I question her ability as a human being.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lacey Evans''': Tonight, y'all will witness history. My name is Lacey Evans, and I am the one and only true ''lady'' of WWE. And I am here to clean up this entire women's division.
:'''Tom Phillips''': Lacey Evans just soaking it in.
:'''Renee''': ''[as the music sounds for entry #2: Natalya]'' You don't get these moments very often, Tom, but now, Beth, [[w:The Divas of Doom|your girl]]!
:'''Beth Phoenix''': I hope Lacey enjoyed it while she had it.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Beth''': ''[on Corey as entry #3, Mandy Rose, enters]'' Look at the smile.
:'''Renee''': I'm so glad you're sitting next to him, Beth, and not me.
:'''Corey''': We are in the desert, but this is no oasis, it is real life! It is God's greatest creation, and the Royal Rumble Match just got downright amazing!
:'''Beth''': Do you ever talk to Mandy Rose in person, or do you just talk about her from here?
:'''Corey''': Listen, I get a little nervous, I sweat a lot, my tongue feels...swollen, I don't know.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': Listen update, everybody: Mandy Rose is still in the ring.
:'''Renee''': Nobody asked, Graves, but thanks.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': ''[on entry #14, Kairi Sane]'' Do the same rules apply about running with a telescope as they do with scissors?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': ''[as Naomi, in danger of elimination, walks the barrier]'' This is incredible. Never mind the fact that I'm disconsolate because Mandy Rose got eliminated, Naomi still hasn't been. ''[Naomi wobbles a little]'' This is nuts.
:'''Tom''': Again, both feet have not touched the floor, Naomi is still technically not eliminated.
:'''Corey''': I don't trust that guy with the red beard, he's probably gonna try and trip her.
:'''Beth''': I feel like I should hold my breath.
:'''Corey''': ''[as Naomi eyes the ring steps]'' There is no way, that is way too far.
:''[Naomi leaps onto the steps]''
:'''Tom''': Heck of a long jump for Naomi. Hey, wait a minute... ''[Mandy Rose yanks her down, eliminating her]'' Mandy Rose still eliminates Naomi!
:'''Corey''': That was magnificent!
:'''Renee''': Naomi's gonna beat her in the parking lot afterwards.
:'''Corey''': Hey, calm down over there! That was wonderful!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': ''[on the mask and claws of entry #20, Zelina Vega]'' I've played ''Street Fighter'' a bunch of times, and I never remembered [[w:Vega (Street Fighter)|''that'' Vega]] looking this good.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Corey''': ''[As Charlotte Flair, who has been attacking an injured Becky Lynch (replacing Lana) for several minutes, prepares to charge at Lynch, who has to use the ropes to get up]'' The Queen has become fixated on the injured leg of Becky Lynch, and the Man can barely stand.
:'''Beth''': Charlotte Flair getting methodical, not giving any opportunities to Becky Lynch. She's measuring her.
:'''Tom''': ''[Flair charges at Lynch with a kick, but Lynch ducks and sends Flair over the top rope]'' Oh, Charlotte Flair... ''[Flair lands on the apron]'' Charlotte Flair sent over the top! Sent over the top!
:'''Renee''': ''[Lynch clotheslines Flair]'' OH!
:'''Tom''': Charlotte Flair...
:'''Renee''': ''[Flair falls to the floor, winning Lynch the Rumble]'' OH!
:'''Tom''': CHARLOTTE FLAIR'S BEEN ELIMINATED! BECKY LYNCH IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Greg Hamilton''': Here is your winner: Becky Lynch!
:'''Tom''': BECKY DID IT! BECKY DID IT! MAN, OH MAN!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[A nearly-eliminated Braun Strowman has just delivered a chokeslam to Seth Rollins and is about to throw Rollins out]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Much like Strowman did at the [[w:WWE Greatest Royal Rumble|Greatest Royal Rumble]], looking to dominate again here tonight and eliminate Seth Rollins, and get the matchup and the champion of his choice at WrestleMania.
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Brock Lesnar or Daniel Bryan? ''[Strowman dumps Rollins over the top rope, but Rollins stands up on the apron, and headlocks Strowman]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Oh, oh... W-w-w-w-w-w-w-wait! Wait! Wait!
:'''Michael''': And now Seth Rollins, now trying to eliminate Strowman! Strowman in trouble; top rope! Rollins trying to wrestle him down to the floor!
:'''Jerry''': Rollins has a death grip on his head!
:'''Michael''': ''[Rollins takes Strowman over the top rope, onto the apron]'' Strowman trying to hang on; both men are on the apron of the ring!
:'''Jerry''': Ohh… ''[Rollins, still with a headlock on Strowman, is overpowered by Strowman who lifts Rollins onto his shoulders]''
:'''Michael''': And again, the power of Strowman. Look at Strowman! ''[Rollins slips out]'' Rollins, though...
:'''Jerry''': ''[Rollins pushes Strowman into the steel post]'' Whoa!
:'''Michael''': Posting Strowman! Strowman still on the apron.
:'''Jerry''': ''[Rollins superkicks Strowman in the gut, taking Strowman down]'' Oh!
:'''Michael''': Rollins to the midsection!
:'''Jerry''': One foot.
:'''Michael''': Strowman still staying alive! Rollins...
:'''Jerry''': ''[Rollins Curb Stomps Strowman]'' OH! ACK!
:'''Michael''': ''[Strowman careens to the floor, winning Rollins the Rumble]'' SETH ROLLINS WINS!
:'''Jerry''': OH MY GOD!
:'''Michael''': ROLLINS IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Jerry''': Whoa-oh!
:'''Mike Rome''': Here is your winner: Seth Rollins!
:'''Michael''': Seth Rollins is going to WrestleMania! Seth Rollins has won the Royal Rumble match!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2020)|2020]]==
:'''Tom Phillips''': Right now, Baszler right in at... back in it, but Charlotte -
:'''Corey Graves''': ''[Charlotte Flair, on the apron, clamps the neck of Shayna Baszler with her legs and takes her over the top rope and out, winning the Rumble]'' Whoa!
:'''Tom''': Charlotte Flair is going to WrestleMania!
:'''Mike Rome''': Here is your winner: Charlotte Flair!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I TOLD you guys I was right. This is awesome!
:'''Tom''': She lasted 27:19 from the #17 position, and it was enough to punch her ticket to WrestleMania!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[Roman Reigns is trying to eliminate Drew McIntyre]'' Reigns is going to eliminate McIntyre and win his second Rumble! Very few men have won more than one; Roman Reigns looking to join the elite here tonight.
:'''Booker T''': ''[McIntyre holds on the top rope. Reigns eventually gives up and attempts a Spear]'' Wow, that's a lot of power by Dr- ''[Booker is cut off, as just as Roman is about to spear McIntyre, McIntyre suddenly delivers a Claymore Kick]''
:'''Michael''': CLAYMORE! CLAYMORE BY McINTYRE! McINTYRE... ''[McIntyre throws Reigns out, winning the Rumble]'' WOW! DREW McINTYRE'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Greg Hamilton''': Here is your winner: Drew McIntyre!
:'''Corey''': All I can say is that it is about damn time!
:'''Michael''': Drew McIntyre has never had an opportunity at a WWE or Universal Championship. He's going to get his chance, after winning the Royal Rumble!
:'''Corey''': And there is a standing ovation at Minute Maid Park, and deservedly so. Over 40,000 fans standing in appreciation for Drew McIntyre! What an effort!
==[[w:Royal Rumble (2021)|2021]]==
:'''Tom Phillips''': And now Ripley and Belair, center of the ring... hold on a sec! ''[Rhea Ripley attempts to hit Riptide on Bianca Belair, but Belair escapes and takes Ripley up for the KOD]'' Looking for Riptide.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Oh no! Oh no!
:'''Bryon Saxton''': OH...
:'''Tom''': Belair! 
:'''Jerry''': Oh!
:'''Tom''': Belair with the KOD... ''[Belair attempts the KOD, but Ripley lands on her feet]'' no! Ripley lands on her feet.
:'''Jerry''': Oh, this is great... Oh! Oh, no!
:'''Tom''': Ripley over the top...
:'''Jerry''': ''[Belair throws Ripley out, winning the Rumble]'' Oh, no!
:'''Tom''': BIANCA BELAIR IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Mike Rome''': Here is your winner: Bianca Belair!
:'''Bryon''': I'm out of time... I told you, King! Congratulations Bianca Belair! The EST is headed to WrestleMania!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[Seth Rollins has Edge set up for the Stomp]'' Rollins and Edge! And Rollins going for the Stomp! ''[But Edge catches Rollins before he can execute the Stomp, grabs his legs and tries to throw Rollins out]''
:'''Samoa Joe''': Is he worth it? Oh!
:'''Michael''': Rollins trying to hang on!
:'''Joe''': Edge got him and trying to eliminate him!
:'''Michael''': Edge trying to eliminate Rollins... ''[But Rollins'' can't ''hold on, as Edge throws him out, seemingly winning the Rumble]'' ROLLINS ELIMINATED! EDGE HAS DONE IT! ''[But suddenly, Randy Orton comes in from behind and RKO's Edge]'' WAIT A MINUTE! OUT OF NOWHERE, AN RKO BY ORTON! ORTON'S BACK IN THE MATCH! Orton was never eliminated! Randy Orton... ''[Orton attempts to throw Edge out, but Edge counters it]'' EDGE!
:'''Corey Graves''': Oh... oh...
:'''Michael''': DUMPS ORTON!
:'''Corey''': ''[Edge throws Orton out, finally winning the Rumble]'' WHAT?
:'''Michael''': EDGE WINS! EDGE WINS! EDGE'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
:'''Greg Hamilton''': Here is your winner: the Rated-R Superstar, Edge!
:'''Michael''': Edge wins his second Royal Rumble, 11 years to the day from his [[w:Royal Rumble (2010)|first victory]]!
:'''Joe''': An absolute unbelievable, a monumental effort!
:'''Corey''': Edge just achieved the impossible!
:'''Michael''': Over 58 minutes Edge lasted this match, to pick up the victory. And he becomes the third person in history ''[after [[w:Shawn Michaels|Shawn Michaels]] in 1995 and [[w:Chris Benoit|Chris Benoit]] in 2004]'' to win the Rumble match by running the table all the way from spot #1!

==[[w:Royal Rumble (2022)|2022]]==
:'''Bryon Saxton''': ''[After staring down &quot;Rowdy&quot; Ronda Rousey for quite some time, Charlotte Flair charges at Rousey and attempts to kick her head off; Rousey, however, catches her]'' Charlotte Flair charging, getting caught by Rousey!
:'''Jimmy Smith''': Little too aggressive! Ronda Rousey underneath her... ''[Rousey throws Flair out, winning the Rumble]'' AND SHE'S ELIMINATED!
:'''Corey Graves''': NO!
:'''Jimmy''': RONDA ROUSEY REIGNS SUPREME!
:'''Mike Rome''': The winner of the Royal Rumble match, and the person who will main-event WrestleMania is: &quot;Rowdy&quot; Ronda Rousey!
:'''Corey''': We knew she was the baddest woman on the planet, and now, once again, she's the baddest woman to headline WrestleMania!
:'''Bryon''': We have not seen Ronda Rousey in action since she lost the Raw Women's Championship at Wrestlemania a couple of years ago, and she... now what a way to make your return! Ronda Rousey has punched her ticket to the main event!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[Brock Lesnar has Drew McIntyre up on his shoulders]'' Lesnar with McIntyre up again! Drew McIntyre... ''[Lesnar F5's McIntyre out, winning the Rumble]'' DUMPED OVER THE TOP ROPE! Brock Lesnar's going to WrestleMania!
:'''Samantha Irvin''': The winner of the Royal Rumble match, and the person who will main-event WrestleMania: BROCK LESNAR!
:'''Michael''': 19 years after his first Royal Rumble win, Brock Lesnar repeats!

==External links==
* [http://www.wwe.com/shows/royalrumble WWE Royal Rumble] 
{{wikipedia|Royal Rumble}}

[[Category:Sports television shows]]
[[Category:WWE]]
[[Category:USA shows]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Physician</title>
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      <text bytes="9536" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Steen Doctor and His Patient.jpg|thumb|Jan Steen: Doctor and His Patient]]

A '''[[w:Physician|physician]]''' (or '''medical doctor,''' a practitioner of a specialty listed by the national Board of Medical Specialties) who practices [[medicine]] or [[w:Osteopathy|osteopathic medicine]], and is concerned with maintaining or restoring human [[health]] through the study, diagnosis, and treatment of disease and [[injury]].  This is accomplished through a detailed knowledge of anatomy, physiology, diseases and [[w:therapy|treatment]] — the [[science]] of medicine — and its applied practice — the art or craft of medicine. The physician  help us for many things .they cure us and help to prevent  from diseases just like a doctor 


{{sci-stub}}

==Quotes==
* On TV, the patients that have these compelling rare diseases are played by a revolving door of guest stars. The characters we really get to know are the doctors themselves. And the way doctors have been portrayed on television has changed markedly over the years. Medical shows in the ’50s and ’60s, like ''[[w:City Hospital|City Hospital]]'', ''[[w:Dr. Kildare|Dr. Kildare]]'', and ''[[w:Ben casey|Ben Casey]]'', showed doctors as noble, infallible heroes. These shows apparently received “creative input and guidance from the American Medical Association,” according to an article in Annals of Emergency Medicine. &lt;br&gt; Starting in the ’70s and ’80s with shows like ''[[M*A*S*H]]'' and ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'', the pendulum swung toward portraying doctors as the flawed humans they are. We’ve been firmly in the era of flaws for a while now with shows like ''[[Grey's Anatomy|Grey’s]]'' and ''[[House, MD]]'' (whose rude, drug-abusing titular character gets by on his brilliance). This perhaps explains why, in a 2003 study (on which Chory was an author), watching more prime-time medical shows was associated with “perceiving doctors as more uncaring, cold, unfriendly, nervous, tense, and anxious.”
* All the heightened drama and medical inaccuracies aside, Chabrerie says it’s the [[emotional]] [[challenges]] of being a [[doctor]] that these shows tend to get right. &lt;br&gt; “I do think the emotional aspects get brought up more in shows like ''[[Scrubs]]'',” she says. (She’s not the only one—a 2009 Slate article says that despite the show’s “cartoonishness,” it’s “quite in tune with the real lives of doctors.”) &lt;br&gt; “In med school, this is what we did. We lay in our beds and watched Scrubs,” Chabrerie says. “At the end of the day, we see [the same things] all the time. We lose patients all the time. It’s never easy. [On these shows], the young doctor gets really upset, and the older, wiser doctor comes in and says ‘You have to let it go.’”
** Julie Beck, [https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/08/healthcare-in-the-time-of-greys-anatomy/379087/ &quot;Health Care in the Time of Grey's Anatomy&quot;], ''The Atlantic'', (Aug 26, 2014).

* For '''we are not all equally afflicted with the same disease or all in need of the same severe cure.''' This is the reason why we see different persons disciplined with different crosses. '''The heavenly Physician takes care of the well-being of all his patients'''; he gives some a milder medicine and purifies others by more shocking treatments, but '''he omits no one; for the whole world, without exception, is ill''' (Deut 32:15).
** [[John Calvin]], ''Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life'', Page 55

* Scientists and doctors to me, are at the leading edge of what all human beings do all of the time; which is to change, everything. We’ve never been satisfied with what we’re given. We don’t accept the earth as a given. We change our body chemistry, our physiology, our biology, our biochemistry. We clear the forest, we build our own environment, we climate control it . . . And, the interface between that impulse and the human body often is doctors, biologists, and biochemists.
** [[David Cronenberg]] [http://bombmagazine.org/article/1160/david-cronenberg &quot;David Cronenberg by Bette Gordon&quot;], Bette Gordon, ''Bomb'', Jan 1, 1989.

* Honour the physician so long as you do not require his skill.
** ''{{w|Exodus Rabbah}} 21'', ''[http://www.sacred-texts.com/jud/tmm/tmm07.htm Tales and Maxims from the Midrash]'' by Rev. Samuel Rapaport, (1907), p. 99 

* There is sometimes more Skill shewed by a Physician in not Prescribing, than in Prescribing. And there is no better Remedy for some Diseases, than to let them alone : for unseasonable meddling with them, may hinder their proceeding to a Crisis, and at long Run they will mend of themselves.
** [[Thomas Fuller (writer)|Thomas Fuller]], ''Introductio ad prudentiam'': Part II (1727), aphorism 3064.

*'''Bugs Bunny''': What's up doc?
** Rich Hogan, [[w:A Wild Hare|A Wild Hare]] (1940)

* I am going to speak bluntly.  Physicians who speak out are being actively hunted via medical boards and the press.  They are trying to deligitimize and pick us off one by one.  This is not a conspiracy theory - this is a fact. Please wake up. This is happening globally.
** [[W:Robert W. Malone|Robert W. Malone]], [https://twitter.com/RWMaloneMD/status/1446128930755285002 Twitter, 2:02 AM · Oct 8, 2021]

* ''Les médecins administrent des médicaments dont ils savent très peu, à des malades dont ils savent moins, pour guérir des maladies dont ils ne savent rien.''
** Doctors are men who prescribe medicine of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, for human beings of which they know nothing.
** Attributed to [[Voltaire]] in Strauss' ''Familiar Medical Quotations'' (1968),  p. 394, and in publications as early as 1956 [http://books.google.pt/books?id=lCtCAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22Doctors+are+men+who+prescribe+medicine+of%22&amp;dq=%22Doctors+are+men+who+prescribe+medicine+of%22&amp;hl=pt-PT&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=mbnWUsvDIfTB7Aaw_YD4Dw&amp;redir_esc=y]; the quotation in French does not, however, appear to be original, and is probably a relatively modern invention, only quoted in recent (21st century) published works, which attribute it to &quot;Voltaire&quot; without citing any source.

*'''For the first time in our [[tradition]] there was a complete separation between [[Homicide|killing]] and [[Remedy|curing]]'''. Throughout the primitive world the doctor and the [[Witchcraft|sorcerer]] tended to be the same person. He with power to kill had power to cure, including specially the undoing of his own killing activities. &lt;br&gt;'''He who had power to cure would necessarily also be able to kill'''. With the [[Greeks]] the distinction was made clear. One profession, the followers of [[w:Asclepius|Asclepius]], were to be dedicated completely to [[life]] under all circumstances, regardless of rank, age, or intellect— the life of a [[Slavery|slave]], the life of the Emperor, the life of a foreign man, the life of a [[Disability|defective]] [[child]]. This is a [[priceless]] possession which we cannot afford to tarnish,  '''but [[society]] always is attempting to make the physician into a killer'''— to kill the [[Disability|defective]] child at [[birth]], to leave the sleeping pills beside the [[Beds|bed]]  of the [[cancer]] patient. It is the duty of society to protect the physician from such requests.
**[[Margaret Mead]], on the Hippocratic Oath. Quoted in ''Psychiatry and Ethics'' (1972), Maurice Levine, M.D., George Braziller, pub., {{ISBN|0807606421}} {{ISBN|9780807606421 }}pp. 324-325, [https://books.google.com/books?id=RrRrAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22complete+separation+between+killing+and+curing%22&amp;dq=%22complete+separation+between+killing+and+curing%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=CqblVMqmAYSWgwShsYLwCA&amp;ved=0CCQQ6AEwAjgK] citing (notes, p. 377) a personal communication from [[Margaret Mead]], 1961. [https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&amp;hl=en&amp;q=%22mead+margaret+personal+communication+1961%22]  Maurice Levine (1902-1971) was &quot;distinguished former chairman of the University of Cincinnati Department of Psychiatry.&quot; Compare: '''Who knows how to heal knows how to destroy''' (qui scit sanare scit destruere) - A woman's testimony before the Inquisition, [[w:Modena|Modena]], 1499. Quoted in ''Eve's Herbs: A History of [[Birth control|Contraception]] and [[Abortion]] in the West'' (1999), John M. Riddle, Harvard University Press, {{ISBN|0674270266}} {{ISBN|978-0674270268}} (p. 118). [https://books.google.com/books?id=2y1qghNDdBoC&amp;pg=PA118&amp;dq=%22Who+knows+how+to+heal+knows+how+to+destroy%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=2a4KVcPZI4HbggSJuYG4BQ&amp;ved=0CC0Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Who%20knows%20how%20to%20heal%20knows%20how%20to%20destroy%22&amp;f=false]
 
* The Porto Ricans (sic) are the dirtiest, laziest, most degenerate and thievish race of men ever to inhabit this sphere… I have done my best to further the process of extermination by killing off eight and transplanting cancer into several more… All physicians take delight in the abuse and torture of the unfortunate subjects.
** [[w:Cornelius P. Rhoads|Cornelius Rhoads]] as quoted by Truman R. Clark. 1975. Puerto Rico and the United States, 1917-1933, pp. 151-154

*'''[[w:Leonard McCoy|Leonard McCoy]]''': I'm a doctor, not a ''[moon shuttle conductor/bricklayer/psychiatrist/mechanic/engineer/scientist/physicist/escalator/magician/miracle worker/flesh peddler/veterinarian]''.
**[[Star Trek: The Original Series]] ''[various episodes]''

==See also==
* [[Health care]]
*[[Hippocratic Oath]]
*[[Medicine]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|medicine}}

[[Category:Health]]
[[Category:Occupations]]
[[Category:Physicians| ]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Teenagers</title>
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      <text bytes="11030" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Teenagers|Teenagers]]''' (or '''[[w:adolescents|adolescents]]''') are human beings in the transitional stage of physical and mental human development that occurs between [[w:childhood|childhood]] and [[w:adulthood|adulthood]].

==Quotes==
[[File:Da_Nang%2C_Vietnam._A_young_Marine_private_waits_on_the_beach_during_the_Marine_landing._-_NARA_-_532432_%28restored%29.jpg|thumb|'''[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars.''' ~ [[James Clavell]]]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. ~ [[Dave Barry]]]]
[[File:Teenage_girl_texting.jpg|thumb|As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ~ [[Fran Lebowitz]]]]
* With the [[social]] and [[ethical]] context of the transformations of adolescence as the centrepiece of her chapter, Amanda Howell in &quot;Coming of Age, With Vampires&quot; gives voice to the figure of [[teenager]] as the Other in society. Comparing three [[cinematic]] and [[television]] productions (''[[w:The Lost Boys|Lost Boys]]'', ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', and ''[[w:Let the Right One In (film)|Let the Right One In]]'', and engaging with the metaphor of threshold crossings, the author stresses the role of the [[vampire]] trope in negotiating the cultural [[w:Angst|angst]] and [[challenges]] associated with [[w:Puberty|puberty]]. Of particular interest to this discussion is how adolescent protagonists face an untested freedom and unaccustomed responsibility for the self which entails the challenge of consent.
** David Baker, Stephanie Green, Agnieszka Stasiewicz-Bieńkowska, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Hospitality_Rape_and_Consent_in_Vampire.html?id=Kq4-DwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Hospitality, Rape and Consent in Vampire Popular Culture: Letting the Wrong One In&quot;], p. 11.

* '''I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm.''' I'm sure modern boys are no different. So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990), p. 63

* I make [[movies]] for teenage [[boys]]. Oh, dear, what a [[crime]].
** [[w:Michael Bay|Michael Bay]] quoted in Bryan Curtis, [http://www.slate.com/news-and-politics/2005/06/michael-bay-vs-his-critics.html &quot;The Bad Boy of Summer: Michael Bay vs. his Critics&quot;], ''Slate'' (2005-06-15)

*'''Dr. David Wheeler''': ...easiest thing in the world, being a teenager: you get up, you go to [[school]], you come [[home]], and you do your [[w:Homework|homework]]. ''How'' do you mess that up? Yet all of you ''did'', in one way or another ― ''and now I have to clean up that mess!''
** Stan Berkowitz, ''[[Batman Beyond]]'', &quot;The Last Resort&quot;, (March 4, 2000).

* Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support. A garden with different flowers becomes beautiful when it blossoms. Similarly, if parents learn how to be a ‘gardener’ and are able to recognize their child's personality and nourish it, then their ‘garden’ will become fragrant! This is what positive parenting is all about!
** ''[[w:Dada Bhagwan|Dada Bhagwan]]'' in [https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dr_Sanyal/publication/344191352_110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILE'S-PERSONALITY/links/5f5a25b592851c078958be43/110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILES-PERSONALITY.pdf] '' Parent - Child Interaction in the Development of a Juvenile's Personality'' (2019), p. 100.

* '''[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars.'''
** [[James Clavell]] interview with [[w:Don Swaim|Don Swaim]] of CBS Radio (1986)  [http://wiredforbooks.org/jamesclavell/ (RealAudio file)]

* Betty, who substituted at the middle school, like to say that there was really no such thing as a thirteen-year-old, but inside every eighth grader were a ten-year-old and a sixteen-year-old locked in mortal combat. Given enough time, the big kid would win and ask to borrow the car. Meanwhile, according to Betty, the best Faith could do was to silently chant the mother’s mantra: “It’s only a phase, it’s only a phase.”
** [[w:James Patrick Kelly|James Patrick Kelly]], ''Faith,'' reprinted in [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]] (ed.) ''This is My Funniest'' (2006), {{ISBN|978-1-932100-95-2}}, p. 135

* As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. 
** [[w:Fran Lebowitz|Fran Lebowitz]], ''Social Studies''

* And I decided that if [[motherhood]] turned a &quot;young American beauty&quot; into that unhappy woman, then motherhood wasn't for me, either. That youthful, emotional decision (ill-formed and made for the wrong reasons) kept me from too much early sexual experimentation, and probably turned me into a bit of a tease. I'd &quot;neck&quot; but only go so far, because . . . well, I because I was going to be a writer, &quot;free and unhampered.&quot; At the very least. I wasn't going to get pregnant in my teens.
** [[Jane Roberts]] in ''The God of Jane: A Psychic Manifesto'', p. 44

* Even if teen-age children aren't making a sound, it's quieter when they're gone. They put a boiling in the air around them.[…] No wonder [[poltergeist]]s only infest houses with adolescent children.
** [[John Steinbeck]], ''[[w:The Winter of Our Discontent|The Winter of Our Discontent]]'' (1961), Ch. V

* I'd always, you see, even in my early teens, had these problems — problems of suddenly waking up in the middle of the night and having this horrifying vision that [[life]] is completely meaningless. You know — just thinking about something like the depths of [[space]], and realizing it's got to come to an [[end]] somewhere, but apparently it doesn't, and then suddenly getting this terrible [[feeling]] that maybe [[life]] is a total delusion. [[G. K. Chesterton]] once said that in his teens he saw [[hell]], and I really think I did too. I went through extreme depressions, glooms. There was one occasion on which I decided actually to commit [[suicide]]. I'd got into this state — I was working as a lab assistant at the school, and what would happen was that I'd make tremendous efforts to push myself up to a level of [[optimism]]. I'd do it in the evenings by reading [[poetry]], thinking, writing in my journals, then I'd go back to the school the next day and blaaahhh, right down to the bottom again. This was the feeling of ''The Mind Parasites'' — there's something that waits until you've got lots of [[energy]] and just sucks you dry like a [[vampire]]. This sudden feeling that [[God]] was making fun of me made me feel one day, &quot;For God's sake, let's not have any more of this [[nonsense]]. I'm damned if I'll be played about with like this. Let me kill myself.&quot; And immediately I felt this, I felt a curious sense of inner strength. So I went off to night school quite determined that what I was going to do was to take down the bottle of potassium cyanide from the reagent shelves and drink it. I knew that cyanide burns a hole in the bottom of the stomach and kills you within seconds. Well, I went into the classroom quite determined. There was a group gathered around the professor at the desk. I went over to the reagent shelves, I took down the bottle of potassium cyanide, I uncorked it, and as I started raising this to my lips I suddenly had an extremely clear vision of myself in a few seconds' time with an agonizing [[pain]] in the pit of my stomach, and at the same time I suddenly turned into two people. '''I don't mean that literally, but I mean that there was I, and there beside me was this silly, bloody little [[idiot]] called Colin Wilson who was in a state of [[self-pity]] and about to kill himself, and I didn't give a damn whether the [[fool]] killed himself or not. The trouble was, if he killed himself he'd kill me too.''' And quite suddenly a terrific sense of overwhelming [[happiness]] came over me. I corked up the bottle, put it on the shelf, and for the next few days was in total control of my [[emotions]] and everything else. I realized suddenly that you can achieve these states of control, provided that you put yourself in a crisis situation. And that's why throughout ''The Outsider'' I keep saying the outsider's salvation lies in extremes.
** [[Colin Wilson]] interviewed on [http://www.intuitionnetwork.org/txt/wilson.htm ''Thinking Allowed''] by Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove

* When I was in my teens, I invented a term to describe them. I call it 'holiday consciousness' . . . because I often experienced this sense of optimism and wide-awakeness when setting out on a journey or a holiday. It was always the feeling that the world is ''self-evidently'' complex and beautiful, and that life is so obviously good that man's boredom and defeat is an absurdity . . . And then I used to ask: Why do mean forget this so easily? And the answer seemed obvious: because the human will is so flabby and weak. Instead of being self-controlled, self-driven creatures, most men are little more than leaves on a stream, they drift along hoping for the best. I once wrote that men are like grandfather clocks driven by watchsprings. 
** [[Colin Wilson]] in ''The Black Room'', p. 75

==See also==
* [[Adults]]
* [[Children]]
* [[Children and adolescents in the United States]]
* [[Education]]
* [[Family]]
* [[Minor (law)]]
* [[Parenting]]
* [[Universal Declaration of Human Rights]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|teenager}}

[[Category:Youth]]
[[Category:Family]]</text>
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      <text bytes="11025" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Teenagers|Teenagers]]''' (or '''[[w:adolescents|adolescents]]''') are human beings in the transitional stage of physical and mental human development that occurs between [[w:childhood|childhood]] and [[w:adulthood|adulthood]].

==Quotes==
[[File:Teenage_girl_texting.jpg|thumb|As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ~ [[Fran Lebowitz]]]]
[[File:Da_Nang%2C_Vietnam._A_young_Marine_private_waits_on_the_beach_during_the_Marine_landing._-_NARA_-_532432_%28restored%29.jpg|thumb|[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars. ~ [[James Clavell]]]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. ~ [[Dave Barry]]]]

* With the [[social]] and [[ethical]] context of the transformations of adolescence as the centrepiece of her chapter, Amanda Howell in &quot;Coming of Age, With Vampires&quot; gives voice to the figure of [[teenager]] as the Other in society. Comparing three [[cinematic]] and [[television]] productions (''[[w:The Lost Boys|Lost Boys]]'', ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', and ''[[w:Let the Right One In (film)|Let the Right One In]]'', and engaging with the metaphor of threshold crossings, the author stresses the role of the [[vampire]] trope in negotiating the cultural [[w:Angst|angst]] and [[challenges]] associated with [[w:Puberty|puberty]]. Of particular interest to this discussion is how adolescent protagonists face an untested freedom and unaccustomed responsibility for the self which entails the challenge of consent.
** David Baker, Stephanie Green, Agnieszka Stasiewicz-Bieńkowska, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Hospitality_Rape_and_Consent_in_Vampire.html?id=Kq4-DwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Hospitality, Rape and Consent in Vampire Popular Culture: Letting the Wrong One In&quot;], p. 11.

* '''I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm.''' I'm sure modern boys are no different. So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990), p. 63

* I make [[movies]] for teenage [[boys]]. Oh, dear, what a [[crime]].
** [[w:Michael Bay|Michael Bay]] quoted in Bryan Curtis, [http://www.slate.com/news-and-politics/2005/06/michael-bay-vs-his-critics.html &quot;The Bad Boy of Summer: Michael Bay vs. his Critics&quot;], ''Slate'' (2005-06-15)

*'''Dr. David Wheeler''': ...easiest thing in the world, being a teenager: you get up, you go to [[school]], you come [[home]], and you do your [[w:Homework|homework]]. ''How'' do you mess that up? Yet all of you ''did'', in one way or another ― ''and now I have to clean up that mess!''
** Stan Berkowitz, ''[[Batman Beyond]]'', &quot;The Last Resort&quot;, (March 4, 2000).

* Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support. A garden with different flowers becomes beautiful when it blossoms. Similarly, if parents learn how to be a ‘gardener’ and are able to recognize their child's personality and nourish it, then their ‘garden’ will become fragrant! This is what positive parenting is all about!
** ''[[w:Dada Bhagwan|Dada Bhagwan]]'' in [https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dr_Sanyal/publication/344191352_110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILE'S-PERSONALITY/links/5f5a25b592851c078958be43/110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILES-PERSONALITY.pdf] '' Parent - Child Interaction in the Development of a Juvenile's Personality'' (2019), p. 100.

* '''[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars.'''
** [[James Clavell]] interview with [[w:Don Swaim|Don Swaim]] of CBS Radio (1986)  [http://wiredforbooks.org/jamesclavell/ (RealAudio file)]

* Betty, who substituted at the middle school, like to say that there was really no such thing as a thirteen-year-old, but inside every eighth grader were a ten-year-old and a sixteen-year-old locked in mortal combat. Given enough time, the big kid would win and ask to borrow the car. Meanwhile, according to Betty, the best Faith could do was to silently chant the mother’s mantra: “It’s only a phase, it’s only a phase.”
** [[w:James Patrick Kelly|James Patrick Kelly]], ''Faith,'' reprinted in [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]] (ed.) ''This is My Funniest'' (2006), {{ISBN|978-1-932100-95-2}}, p. 135

* As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. 
** [[w:Fran Lebowitz|Fran Lebowitz]], ''Social Studies''

* And I decided that if [[motherhood]] turned a &quot;young American beauty&quot; into that unhappy woman, then motherhood wasn't for me, either. That youthful, emotional decision (ill-formed and made for the wrong reasons) kept me from too much early sexual experimentation, and probably turned me into a bit of a tease. I'd &quot;neck&quot; but only go so far, because . . . well, I because I was going to be a writer, &quot;free and unhampered.&quot; At the very least. I wasn't going to get pregnant in my teens.
** [[Jane Roberts]] in ''The God of Jane: A Psychic Manifesto'', p. 44

* Even if teen-age children aren't making a sound, it's quieter when they're gone. They put a boiling in the air around them.[…] No wonder [[poltergeist]]s only infest houses with adolescent children.
** [[John Steinbeck]], ''[[w:The Winter of Our Discontent|The Winter of Our Discontent]]'' (1961), Ch. V

* I'd always, you see, even in my early teens, had these problems — problems of suddenly waking up in the middle of the night and having this horrifying vision that [[life]] is completely meaningless. You know — just thinking about something like the depths of [[space]], and realizing it's got to come to an [[end]] somewhere, but apparently it doesn't, and then suddenly getting this terrible [[feeling]] that maybe [[life]] is a total delusion. [[G. K. Chesterton]] once said that in his teens he saw [[hell]], and I really think I did too. I went through extreme depressions, glooms. There was one occasion on which I decided actually to commit [[suicide]]. I'd got into this state — I was working as a lab assistant at the school, and what would happen was that I'd make tremendous efforts to push myself up to a level of [[optimism]]. I'd do it in the evenings by reading [[poetry]], thinking, writing in my journals, then I'd go back to the school the next day and blaaahhh, right down to the bottom again. This was the feeling of ''The Mind Parasites'' — there's something that waits until you've got lots of [[energy]] and just sucks you dry like a [[vampire]]. This sudden feeling that [[God]] was making fun of me made me feel one day, &quot;For God's sake, let's not have any more of this [[nonsense]]. I'm damned if I'll be played about with like this. Let me kill myself.&quot; And immediately I felt this, I felt a curious sense of inner strength. So I went off to night school quite determined that what I was going to do was to take down the bottle of potassium cyanide from the reagent shelves and drink it. I knew that cyanide burns a hole in the bottom of the stomach and kills you within seconds. Well, I went into the classroom quite determined. There was a group gathered around the professor at the desk. I went over to the reagent shelves, I took down the bottle of potassium cyanide, I uncorked it, and as I started raising this to my lips I suddenly had an extremely clear vision of myself in a few seconds' time with an agonizing [[pain]] in the pit of my stomach, and at the same time I suddenly turned into two people. '''I don't mean that literally, but I mean that there was I, and there beside me was this silly, bloody little [[idiot]] called Colin Wilson who was in a state of [[self-pity]] and about to kill himself, and I didn't give a damn whether the [[fool]] killed himself or not. The trouble was, if he killed himself he'd kill me too.''' And quite suddenly a terrific sense of overwhelming [[happiness]] came over me. I corked up the bottle, put it on the shelf, and for the next few days was in total control of my [[emotions]] and everything else. I realized suddenly that you can achieve these states of control, provided that you put yourself in a crisis situation. And that's why throughout ''The Outsider'' I keep saying the outsider's salvation lies in extremes.
** [[Colin Wilson]] interviewed on [http://www.intuitionnetwork.org/txt/wilson.htm ''Thinking Allowed''] by Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove

* When I was in my teens, I invented a term to describe them. I call it 'holiday consciousness' . . . because I often experienced this sense of optimism and wide-awakeness when setting out on a journey or a holiday. It was always the feeling that the world is ''self-evidently'' complex and beautiful, and that life is so obviously good that man's boredom and defeat is an absurdity . . . And then I used to ask: Why do mean forget this so easily? And the answer seemed obvious: because the human will is so flabby and weak. Instead of being self-controlled, self-driven creatures, most men are little more than leaves on a stream, they drift along hoping for the best. I once wrote that men are like grandfather clocks driven by watchsprings. 
** [[Colin Wilson]] in ''The Black Room'', p. 75

==See also==
* [[Adults]]
* [[Children]]
* [[Children and adolescents in the United States]]
* [[Education]]
* [[Family]]
* [[Minor (law)]]
* [[Parenting]]
* [[Universal Declaration of Human Rights]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|teenager}}

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      <text bytes="11031" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Teenagers|Teenagers]]''' (or '''[[w:adolescents|adolescents]]''') are human beings in the transitional stage of physical and mental human development that occurs between [[w:childhood|childhood]] and [[w:adulthood|adulthood]].

==Quotes==
[[File:Teenage_girl_texting.jpg|thumb|As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ~ [[Fran Lebowitz]]]]
[[File:Da_Nang%2C_Vietnam._A_young_Marine_private_waits_on_the_beach_during_the_Marine_landing._-_NARA_-_532432_%28restored%29.jpg|thumb|[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars. ~ [[James Clavell]]]]
[[File:Youssef Vodafone balkhair.jpg|thumb|I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm. ~ [[Dave Barry]]]]

* With the [[social]] and [[ethical]] context of the transformations of adolescence as the centrepiece of her chapter, Amanda Howell in &quot;Coming of Age, With Vampires&quot; gives voice to the figure of [[teenager]] as the Other in society. Comparing three [[cinematic]] and [[television]] productions (''[[w:The Lost Boys|Lost Boys]]'', ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', and ''[[w:Let the Right One In (film)|Let the Right One In]]'', and engaging with the metaphor of threshold crossings, the author stresses the role of the [[vampire]] trope in negotiating the cultural [[w:Angst|angst]] and [[challenges]] associated with [[w:Puberty|puberty]]. Of particular interest to this discussion is how adolescent protagonists face an untested freedom and unaccustomed responsibility for the self which entails the challenge of consent.
** David Baker, Stephanie Green, Agnieszka Stasiewicz-Bieńkowska, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Hospitality_Rape_and_Consent_in_Vampire.html?id=Kq4-DwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Hospitality, Rape and Consent in Vampire Popular Culture: Letting the Wrong One In&quot;], p. 11.

* '''I'll tell you what would really age me fast: if I had a teenaged daughter. I don't think I could handle that. Because that would mean teenaged boys would be coming around to my house. &quot;Hi, Mr. Barry!&quot; they'd say, with their cheerful, innocent young voices. &quot;We're here to have sex with your daughter!&quot; No, of course they wouldn't come out and say that, but I know that's what they'd be thinking, because I was a teenaged boy once, and I was basically a walking hormone storm.''' I'm sure modern boys are no different. So if I had a teenaged daughter, and a boy came to my house, after somehow picking his way through the land mines in the lawn, I'd probably lunge through the screen door and strangle him right there (&quot;Hi, Mr. Barry! Is Jennifer heAAAAAAAWWWWK&quot;). You think I'm exaggerating, but I have male friends whose daughters are approaching puberty at speeds upwards of 700 miles per hour, and when you say the word &quot;dating,&quot; my friends get a look in their eyes that makes Charles Manson look like Captain Kangaroo.
** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' (1990), p. 63

* I make [[movies]] for teenage [[boys]]. Oh, dear, what a [[crime]].
** [[w:Michael Bay|Michael Bay]] quoted in Bryan Curtis, [http://www.slate.com/news-and-politics/2005/06/michael-bay-vs-his-critics.html &quot;The Bad Boy of Summer: Michael Bay vs. his Critics&quot;], ''Slate'' (2005-06-15)

*'''Dr. David Wheeler''': ...easiest thing in the world, being a teenager: you get up, you go to [[school]], you come [[home]], and you do your [[w:Homework|homework]]. ''How'' do you mess that up? Yet all of you ''did'', in one way or another ― ''and now I have to clean up that mess!''
** Stan Berkowitz, ''[[Batman Beyond]]'', &quot;The Last Resort&quot;, (March 4, 2000).

* Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support. A garden with different flowers becomes beautiful when it blossoms. Similarly, if parents learn how to be a ‘gardener’ and are able to recognize their child's personality and nourish it, then their ‘garden’ will become fragrant! This is what positive parenting is all about!
** ''[[w:Dada Bhagwan|Dada Bhagwan]]'' in [https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dr_Sanyal/publication/344191352_110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILE'S-PERSONALITY/links/5f5a25b592851c078958be43/110-PARENT---CHILD-INTERACTION-IN-THE-DEVELOPMENT-OF-A-JUVENILES-PERSONALITY.pdf] '' Parent - Child Interaction in the Development of a Juvenile's Personality'' (2019), p. 100.

* '''[[Wars]] are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the [[politicians]] and old people who start these wars.'''
** [[James Clavell]] interview with [[w:Don Swaim|Don Swaim]] of CBS Radio (1986)  [http://wiredforbooks.org/jamesclavell/ (RealAudio file)]

* Betty, who substituted at the middle school, like to say that there was really no such thing as a thirteen-year-old, but inside every eighth grader were a ten-year-old and a sixteen-year-old locked in mortal combat. Given enough time, the big kid would win and ask to borrow the car. Meanwhile, according to Betty, the best Faith could do was to silently chant the mother’s mantra: “It’s only a phase, it’s only a phase.”
** [[w:James Patrick Kelly|James Patrick Kelly]], ''Faith,'' reprinted in [[w:Mike Resnick|Mike Resnick]] (ed.) ''This is My Funniest'' (2006), {{ISBN|978-1-932100-95-2}}, p. 135

* '''As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.''' 
** [[w:Fran Lebowitz|Fran Lebowitz]], ''Social Studies''

* And I decided that if [[motherhood]] turned a &quot;young American beauty&quot; into that unhappy woman, then motherhood wasn't for me, either. That youthful, emotional decision (ill-formed and made for the wrong reasons) kept me from too much early sexual experimentation, and probably turned me into a bit of a tease. I'd &quot;neck&quot; but only go so far, because . . . well, I because I was going to be a writer, &quot;free and unhampered.&quot; At the very least. I wasn't going to get pregnant in my teens.
** [[Jane Roberts]] in ''The God of Jane: A Psychic Manifesto'', p. 44

* Even if teen-age children aren't making a sound, it's quieter when they're gone. They put a boiling in the air around them.[…] No wonder [[poltergeist]]s only infest houses with adolescent children.
** [[John Steinbeck]], ''[[w:The Winter of Our Discontent|The Winter of Our Discontent]]'' (1961), Ch. V

* I'd always, you see, even in my early teens, had these problems — problems of suddenly waking up in the middle of the night and having this horrifying vision that [[life]] is completely meaningless. You know — just thinking about something like the depths of [[space]], and realizing it's got to come to an [[end]] somewhere, but apparently it doesn't, and then suddenly getting this terrible [[feeling]] that maybe [[life]] is a total delusion. [[G. K. Chesterton]] once said that in his teens he saw [[hell]], and I really think I did too. I went through extreme depressions, glooms. There was one occasion on which I decided actually to commit [[suicide]]. I'd got into this state — I was working as a lab assistant at the school, and what would happen was that I'd make tremendous efforts to push myself up to a level of [[optimism]]. I'd do it in the evenings by reading [[poetry]], thinking, writing in my journals, then I'd go back to the school the next day and blaaahhh, right down to the bottom again. This was the feeling of ''The Mind Parasites'' — there's something that waits until you've got lots of [[energy]] and just sucks you dry like a [[vampire]]. This sudden feeling that [[God]] was making fun of me made me feel one day, &quot;For God's sake, let's not have any more of this [[nonsense]]. I'm damned if I'll be played about with like this. Let me kill myself.&quot; And immediately I felt this, I felt a curious sense of inner strength. So I went off to night school quite determined that what I was going to do was to take down the bottle of potassium cyanide from the reagent shelves and drink it. I knew that cyanide burns a hole in the bottom of the stomach and kills you within seconds. Well, I went into the classroom quite determined. There was a group gathered around the professor at the desk. I went over to the reagent shelves, I took down the bottle of potassium cyanide, I uncorked it, and as I started raising this to my lips I suddenly had an extremely clear vision of myself in a few seconds' time with an agonizing [[pain]] in the pit of my stomach, and at the same time I suddenly turned into two people. '''I don't mean that literally, but I mean that there was I, and there beside me was this silly, bloody little [[idiot]] called Colin Wilson who was in a state of [[self-pity]] and about to kill himself, and I didn't give a damn whether the [[fool]] killed himself or not. The trouble was, if he killed himself he'd kill me too.''' And quite suddenly a terrific sense of overwhelming [[happiness]] came over me. I corked up the bottle, put it on the shelf, and for the next few days was in total control of my [[emotions]] and everything else. I realized suddenly that you can achieve these states of control, provided that you put yourself in a crisis situation. And that's why throughout ''The Outsider'' I keep saying the outsider's salvation lies in extremes.
** [[Colin Wilson]] interviewed on [http://www.intuitionnetwork.org/txt/wilson.htm ''Thinking Allowed''] by Dr. Jeffrey Mishlove

* When I was in my teens, I invented a term to describe them. I call it 'holiday consciousness' . . . because I often experienced this sense of optimism and wide-awakeness when setting out on a journey or a holiday. It was always the feeling that the world is ''self-evidently'' complex and beautiful, and that life is so obviously good that man's boredom and defeat is an absurdity . . . And then I used to ask: Why do mean forget this so easily? And the answer seemed obvious: because the human will is so flabby and weak. Instead of being self-controlled, self-driven creatures, most men are little more than leaves on a stream, they drift along hoping for the best. I once wrote that men are like grandfather clocks driven by watchsprings. 
** [[Colin Wilson]] in ''The Black Room'', p. 75

==See also==
* [[Adults]]
* [[Children]]
* [[Children and adolescents in the United States]]
* [[Education]]
* [[Family]]
* [[Minor (law)]]
* [[Parenting]]
* [[Universal Declaration of Human Rights]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|teenager}}

[[Category:Youth]]
[[Category:Family]]</text>
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      <text bytes="27570" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[Family Guy]]''''' is an animated television series created by [[Seth MacFarlane]] for [[w:FOX|FOX]] in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]], production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

:'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

===''[[w:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]''===
:''[Brian and Stewie beam into a universe animated by Disney]''
:'''Brian''': What the hell? What's happened to us?
:'''Stewie''': I don't know, but suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy. It seems we're in a universe where everything is drawn by Disney.
:'''Brian''': Look! There's our house!
:''[Brian and Stewie run towards it]''
:'''Stewie''': ''[laughing]'' Look how gaily we run!
:&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian and Stewie beam into the Robot Chicken universe]''
:'''Brian''': Whoa, this is trippy.
:'''Stewie''': I should say so. We're in the ''Robot Chicken'' universe.
:''[Camera rotates around the two and shows Peter and Chris sitting on the couch]''
:'''R.C. Peter''': Will you guys move? You're blocking the TV.
:''[Duke, Optimus Prime, Lion-O, and He-man enter the room]''
:'''R.C. Chris''': Look! G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man! Yay! Those shows existed!
:'''Stewie''': How's it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds?
:'''R.C. Chris''': Screw you!
:'''Stewie''': Bye!
:''[Brian and Stewie beam out of the universe]''

===''[[w:Family Goy|Family Goy]]''===

:'''Brian''': That's the problem with this world: Too many people go overboard with what they believe, like Quagmire when he thought ''he'' was the one getting the [[w:The Cleveland Show|spin-off]].&lt;br&gt;
:''[cut to: Quagmire walking down Spooner Street]''&lt;br&gt;
:'''Quagmire''': See you later, bitches! Have fun with your stupid goddamn Giant Chicken jokes and your [[w:Conway Twitty|Conway Twitty]]... Hey, why is there a moving truck outside Cleveland's house?

===''[[w:Spies Reminiscent of Us|Spies Reminiscent of Us]]''===
:'''Clerk''': Have you made a reservation, Peter?
:'''Peter''': Uh... yeah! I did it before her!
:'''Clerk''': Who did you talk to?
:'''Peter''': Uhhh...Dave...Al-Jeff...illium...Tonio?
:'''Clerk''': Dave Aljeffilliumtonio hasn't worked here for four years!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peter''': Listen, I gotta tell you guys, I've watched all your movies, like, a thousand times.
:'''[[w:Chevy Chase|Chevy Chase]]''': You saw ''[[w:Cops and Robbersons|Cops and Robbersons]]''?
:''[[w:Dan Aykroyd|Dan Aykroyd]]''': And ''[[w:My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien]]''?
:'''Peter''': Almost all of them.

===''[[w:Brian's Got a Brand New Bag|Brian's Got a Brand New Bag]]''===
:'''Peter''': ''[kicks the Drive Thru window]'' Keep the change. ''[zoom on Peter]'' Road House.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Rita''': ''[after breaking up with Brian]'' You can leave my apartment key on the davenport.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the dresser]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': No. The davenport- the chesterfield.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the cushioned bench]'' On this?
:'''Rita''': No. Does that look like a divan to you?
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the windowsill]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': ''[sighs]'' Leave them on the chifferobe.
:'''Brian''': ''[frustrated]'' You know what? Just take your fucking keys because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. ''[slams door]''

===''[[w:Hannah Banana|Hannah Banana]]''===
:'''Monkey''': Now, I know this looks bad, me living in your son's closet and all, but it's a very complex situation. You see, basically, I got home from work one day, and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's terrible.
:'''Monkey''': I fell into a deep depression after the divorce which ended up costing me my job. All my money was gone, which means I lost the house. So I moved into Chris' closet just until I got back on my feet again. Wound up living in there for 9 years.
:'''Peter''': Oh, my God! You've missed so much! Like when America was attacked by mentally challenged suicide bombers.
:''[cut to the bottom of a skyscraper; a suicide bomber on a bicycle rides toward the building]''
:'''Bomber''': Allahu Akbar!
:''[he suddenly crashes]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[the monkey has moved into Jake Tucker's closet at the end of the episode and does to Jake exactly what he did to Chris before he left]''
:'''Jake''':  Dad, there's an evil monkey in my closet!
:'''Tom''': ''[from outside the room]'' I don't care, son. I just do not care.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Baby|Quagmire's Baby]]''===
:'''Peter''': Now hang on, Quagmire, there's no guarantee that it's your baby.
:'''Baby''': Giggity?
:'''Quagmire''': Oooh, I say that...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Bitch Brian''': Peter, I sharpened a pencil in my bum and now I need a band-aid.

===''[[w:Jerome is the New Black|Jerome is the New Black]]''===
:''[Brian and Quagmire are at a restaurant and it isn't going well]''
:'''Brian''': I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?
:'''Quagmire''': Okay, I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say ''[mocks Brian]'' &quot;Oh, I'll get you later&quot;, but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of ''Catcher in the Rye'' and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, He's you. God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself into thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no &quot;a&quot; in the word &quot;definite&quot;. And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should ''[mocks again]'' &quot;legalize pot, man&quot;, how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have ''you'' done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because ''[mocks again]'' &quot;religion is for idiots&quot;. Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?! You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a ''bore''. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! ''[sighs, puts his napkin on the table, and sets to leave]'' I'll see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Peter apologizes to Jerome]''
:'''Jerome''': We cool, Peter. We cool. ''[They shake hands]'' But listen. There is something I gotta fess up to. While I was living with y'all, I had a lot of nasty-ass sex with Meg.
:'''Peter''': I don't care about that.

===''[[w:Dog Gone|Dog Gone]]''===
:''[Brian is drinking his sorrows away at the pizza parlor]''
:'''Brian''': Lois was right. I'm not a writer. I'm a joke. I'm one big, fat, ridiculous joke.
:''[the camera pulls out to show Bill of ''Family Circus'' sitting beside him]''
:'''Bill''': Well, maybe you didn't try hard enough, Brian.
:'''Brian''': You know what, father from ''Family Circus''? All you do is judge other people. Every day in the funnies, all you ever do is judge. Why don't you shut your goddamn mouth for once and go home and fuck your wife in the face?
:'''Bill''': You know what? ''[stands up]'' That's exactly what I'm gonna do. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Brian announces he's starting The Quahog Aminal Equal Rights League]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's a great idea, Brian. Maybe you could join PETA.
:'''Peter''': Join me for what?
:'''Lois''': No, PETA, the organization.
:'''Peter''': What organization?
:'''Lois''': PETA.
:'''Peter''': What?!
:'''Lois''': PETA is an acronym, Peter.
:'''Peter''': No, I'm not. I'm Catholic!
:'''Stewie''': Are we doing this?
:'''Lois''': No, Peter, I'm just saying if this meeting goes well, Brian could be part of a PETA rally.
:'''Peter''': Someone is having a rally for me now?
:'''Lois''': No, for PETA.
:'''Peter''': That's me! I'm Peter!
:'''Lois''': I'm not talking about you, Peter! I'm talking about PETA.
:'''Peter''': Someone better have something to say to me pretty damn soon or I'm gonna have something to say to them. I am very busy!
:'''Chris''': I think Betty White is in PETA.
:'''Peter''': That doesn't even make any sense!

===''[[w:Business Guy (Family Guy)|Business Guy]]''===
:'''Peter''': Here are some of the new products we'll be unveiling. ''[flips page]'' The African-American heart monitor.
:''[cut to a scene at a hospital]''
:'''Monitor''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ''[monitor stops]'' Aw, he dead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Carter, I am gonna throw you the best bachelor party ever!
:'''Carter''': Why would you do that?
:'''Peter''': 'Cause I'm your pal and I want to help. Like Cheeseburger Helper.
:''[cut to Peter in the kitchen and Hamburger Helper walks in]''
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Hey there, Peter. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family?
:'''Peter''': Sure!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Okay, then let's...
:''[the camera zooms out revealing Cheeseburger Helper]''
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': Hold on there, Peter! I've got something even better!
:'''Peter''': Oh, really?
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': You bet. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family...with cheese?
:'''Peter''': What? Wha...I-I don't...I-I could just take cheese and put it on the thing he's doing.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[shouting angrily]'' No! It won't be the same!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': ''[to Peter]'' Look, he's my brother. He didn't get enough oxygen at birth. He's never gonna be quite in step with the rest of us, and this is sort of my way of taking care of him.
:'''Peter''': Well, that's nice of you, but it was so much simpler when it was just you and me doing our thing.
:'''Hamburger Helper''': I know, but just let him have this one. Odds are he won't even come back with the actual food.
:'''Peter''': Okay, Cheeseburger Helper, you're on.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[skipping merrily away]'' Yay! Cheese, cheese, cheese! Yay!
:'''Peter''': ''[to Hamburger Helper]'' I'm so sorry for your burden. You're a good brother.

=== ''[[w:Big Man on Hippocampus|Big Man on Hippocampus]]'' ===
:''[Peter has amnesia]''
:'''Chris''': Hi, Dad. I'm Chris. I'm your son.
:'''Peter''': Never seen you before in my life.
:'''Chris''': Really? Then I must be invisible! ''[takes off his clothes and runs outside]'' Hey, everybody! I'm invisible!
:'''Herbert''': Oh, no, you're not! Hot diggity!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Morning, nice people who I still don't know your names and who mean nothing to me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I certainly hope that doesn't apply to me, especially after last night.
:'''Peter''': You got a point there, hot stuff. ''[smacks her rear end]'' And if sex with the rest you is half as good as it was with her, then I think we're all gonna get along just fine.
:'''Chris''': Yay!
:'''Lois''': Well, no, no, Peter. You can't have sex with the kids.
:'''Meg''': Well, I wish you'd told him that before he lost his memory. ''[everyone else gasps]'' It was a joke! I was just making a joke!
:'''Stewie''': ''That's'' your sense of humor?!
:'''Meg''': I was just kidding! God!
:'''Lois''': Meg, that's awful!
:'''Chris''': Geez, open your mouth for a joke once and ''that's'' what you come up with?
:'''Brian''': That's messed up, Meg.
:'''Meg''': I was just trying to be funny.
:'''Lois''': That wasn't funny, that was just dark.
:'''Stewie''': Yeah, that's your father!
:'''Chris''': ''[shoves Meg out of the kitchen]'' Oh, get out, Meg! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, get out! Out, out, out! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, and get out of here!
:'''Peter''': Heh, heh, heh.

===''[[w:Dial Meg for Murder|Dial Meg for Murder]]''===
:'''Joe''': You're under arrest for harboring an escaped convict.
:'''Meg''': Oh, well, that's only fair, because, after all, I did hide him from the... ''[reacts]'' WHAAAA?!!
 &lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Woman''': ''[about the rodeo]'' This is a disgusting display.
:'''Brian''': Boy, you can say that again. Nothing like a bunch of adult men teasing animals for fun. It's amazing that this is still legal. The only reason I'm here 'cause my idiot friend is in the rodeo.
:'''Woman''': I only came 'cause I'm writing a magazine article. One of the competitors is a 13-year-old female riding prodigy. Apparently she got on the bull to miscarry, and found out she had a talent for it.

===''[[w:Extra Large Medium|Extra Large Medium]]''===
:'''Diane''': Our top story: The search for two local boys lost in the woods drags on into its third day.
:'''Tom''': That's right, Diane. Still no sign of Chris and Stewie Griffin. Here's the update from the local authorities who are overseeing the search party's efforts.
:''[cut to the park ranger at the forest]''
:'''Park Ranger''': We're still very optimistic that we're gonna find these kids, and we just want to urge everyone not to give up hope.
:''[Joe and three other cops in the background]''
:'''Joe''': All right, everyone, we are officially looking for corpses. Repeat, this is now a recovery effort. We are officially looking for corpses, so let's get back out there, bring back those dead bodies.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ellen''': Are you going to be this rude all evening? You haven't asked me anything about myself.
:'''Chris''': Oh, um, sorry, um... So what do your parents do?
:'''Ellen''': That's better. Well, my dad's an accountant and my mom is the former Governor of Alaska.

===''[[w:Go Stewie Go|Go Stewie Go]]''===
:''[On the Jolly Farm set]''
:'''Randall''': Quiet on the set! I'm trying to rehearse!
:'''Julie''': ''(to Stewie)'' It's okay. Randall's just getting into character.
:'''Stewie''': Is he playing a dick?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lois''': Meg, honey, I think we need to talk.
:'''Meg''': I don't wanna talk to you. Get out!
:'''Lois''': Look, I understand that you're upset.
:'''Meg''': You made out with my boyfriend. How could you do that?
:'''Lois''': I don't know, sweetheart. But I am so, so sorry. It was an awful thing I did. I never meant to steal him from you.
:'''Meg''': Is that what you think? You stole him from me? Are you kidding? You couldn't steal him from me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I do know a few things, Meg. And clearly, if I wanted him, I could have him.
:'''Meg''': You really think you stand a chance? Look at you. You're old. You're nothing. You couldn't even imagine the things I do for him. And this isn't about making out. This is about power tools. Yeah, I go to places you couldn't get back from. I'll do anything. You don't know me. ''[She rips a tooth out]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, my God!
:'''Meg''': He hangs me from the shower rod with your old bras and then we laugh at you. Now get out of my room!
:'''Lois''': Well, when you're ready to talk...

===''[[w:Peter-assment|Peter-assment]]''===
:'''Quagmire''': If you have sex with her, you give her all the power, and if you don't have sex with her, you're gay.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Quagmire''': ''[to Angela]'' Thanks for having me in your home, and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire.

===''[[w:Brian Griffin's House of Payne|Brian Griffin's House of Payne]]''===
:'''Stewie''': Wow, Brian, you must feel like [[Hitler]] after he wrote ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:''[cut to Hitler with a publisher]''
:'''Publisher''': Well, we read it and we don't like it...
:'''Hitler''': ''[dejected]'' Oh.
:'''Publisher''': We love it!
:''[They both laugh]''
:'''Hitler''': You got me! I could have killed you, Mr. Weinberg!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The executives want to cast [[James Woods]] in Brian's pilot]''
:'''Brian''': James Woods is insane. And on top of that, he's, like, 60. The character of Byron is 25 years old
:'''Female Executive''': I know, I know. But what if he wasn't?
:'''Brian''': What? But he is.
:'''Female Executive''': ...n't.
:'''Brian''': My God, this is a nightmare. I thought you said you weren't gonna mess with my show.
:'''Todd''': It's a small change, Brian. You won't even notice it.
:'''James''': You guys aren't gonna fucking believe this. Call a tow truck. I just banged into some homo's Prius.

===''[[w:April in Quahog|April in Quahog]]''===

:'''Peter''': So you gonna introduce me to your little friends?
:'''Stewie''': That’s Trap-Jaw, that’s Optimus Prime, that’s Destro, and that’s a Care Bear.
:'''Peter''': You having a tea party?
:'''Stewie''': No, we’re working out a land deal. Trap-Jaw is trying to get a variance to build an unpermitted structure within 10 feet of Optimus Prime’s property line.  Destro’s the city councilman who’s telling Trap-Jaw that he has to file it as an accessory structure and even then it can only be built at the rear of the lot. And the Care Bear is just a Care Bear.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[the day after Peter, while on Crystal meth, jumps through Stewie's ceiling]''
:'''Stewie:''' When you jumped through my ceiling, you let an owl in. I know they're supposed to be wise, but all it did was shriek and throw-up half-digested mice.

===''[[w:Brian &amp; Stewie|Brian &amp; Stewie]]''===
:'''Brian''': You've had energy bars this whole time? You idiot!
:'''Stewie''': Not energy bars. Jenny Craig Anytime Bars. And you bitched yourself out a bite.
:'''Brian''': All right, I'm sorry, all right? Can I have one, please? 
:'''Stewie''': All right.
:'''Brian''': Can you give me a caramel one? 
:'''Stewie''': No. You can have, um, um, you can have, um - You can have strawberry yogurt.
:'''Brian''': I don't like strawberry yogurt.
:'''Stewie''': Picky for someone who eats the same food out of a bowl on the floor every night.
:'''Brian''': Okay, I get it.
:'''Stewie''': A bowl that starts in the kitchen and ends up in the living room.
:'''Brian''': Shut up.
:'''Stewie''': Forgets four seconds later that he ate it.
:'''Brian''': Shut up!
:'''Stewie''': Ooh, harsh tone. You just got bumped down to coconut mint.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stewie''': Wanting to kill yourself... Well, I think that's pretty selfish of you.
:'''Brian''': How is that selfish? 
:'''Stewie''': What would I do if you weren't here? Hmm? You're the only one who makes my life bearable.
:'''Brian''': I thought you said I was the best of a bad situation.
:'''Stewie''': I was just trying to hurt you because you hurt me. But the truth is you're my only friend, Brian. lf I didn't have you, I'd be lost.
:'''Brian''': Ah, you'd be okay.
:'''Stewie''': No, I wouldn't. I don't really care for anybody else. Just you. You're the only one I like.
:'''Brian''': Well, thanks.
:'''Stewie''': ''[uncomfortable]'' I like you a lot. I guess you could say I really like you. I would even dare to go a little further, perhaps. I care a great deal about you. A very great deal. Maybe even deeper than that. ''[mumbling]'' I... I love you. I mean, you know, not in like a, &quot;Hey, let's have an underpants party,&quot; or whatever grown-ups do when they're in love. I mean, I love you as one loves another person whom one simply cannot do without.
:'''Brian''': Well, I I love you too, Stewie.
:'''Stewie''': You give my life purpose. And maybe that's enough. Because that's just about the greatest gift one friend can give another.
:'''Brian''': Thank you.
:'''Stewie''': Hey.
:'''Brian''': What? 
:'''Stewie''': Will you read to me? 
:'''Brian''': Sure.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Dad|Quagmire's Dad]]''===
:''[after Brian realizes that the woman he had sex with was Quagmire's father, he throws up for a long time, then screams]''
:'''Stewie''': What?! What the hell?! What's wrong with you?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER!
:'''Stewie''': What?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER AT THE MARRIOT!!
:'''Stewie''': ''[screams]'' Why?!
:'''Brian''': I didn't know! I didn't know it was her!
:'''Stewie''': OH, MY GOD!
:''[both scream]''
:'''Brian''': HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?! WHEN THEY MOVE TO A NEW PLACE, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO NOTIFY THE NEIGHBORHOOD! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!
:'''Stewie''': He didn't move! He's just visiting!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian shudders after his &quot;accident&quot; in the shower and tensely scrubs his fur coat with a sponge. He turns off the shower and puts a towel around his waist. He steps out and then looks at the mirror. Then he hears a bang]''
:'''Quagmire''': ''[offscreen]'' Where is he?! Where is that self-centered, arrogant son of a bitch?! ''[Brian quickly runs to the master bedroom. He gets under the bed until...]'' Get out of there, you dirty little bastard, you're dead! ''[drags him out then punches and kicks Brian repeatedly through the house]'' If I ever see you anywhere near my house, I'll blow your head off! Now lay there and die, you piece of crap! ''[Quagmire exits]''

:''[after beating Brian up, Quagmire exits the house, closes the door, and starts to walk away, but Brian, now bloodied and bruised, but still able to move, lividly opens the door]''
:'''Brian''': Hey! ''[Quagmire turns around]'' I fucked your dad!
:''[he slams the door]''

===''[[w:The Splendid Source|The Splendid Source]]''===

:''[two men in a car shoot Peter's back window]''
:'''Quagmire''': What the hell was that about, who were those guys!?
:'''Joe''': I don't know but I'll tell you this, I saw one of them back at the bar in Stoolbend.
:'''Peter''': You think they were following us?
:'''Joe''': Either that or they got a grudge against our back windshield.
:'''Quagmire''': Aw, Joe, that's so dumb.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Peter''': Hey, you know, Cleveland, you better hide the markers from your kids. Somebody colored in your Jesus.
:'''Rallo''': Somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat ass.

===''[[w:Something, Something, Something, Dark Side|Something, Something, Something, Dark Side]]''===
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking... nerfherder!
:''[Han (Peter) punches her in the face]''
:'''Han''': You can't use that word! Only ''we'' can use that word!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown into an asteroid field]''
:'''Leia''': We're gonna get pulverized out here!
:'''Han''': Look, we've got four or five of the main characters on this ship, I think we'll be fine! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown out of the worm (Meg) in the asteroid]''
:'''Worm''': How come I never get any lines in these things?
:''[Han (Peter) flies the ship back to the worm]''
:'''Han''': Shut up, Meg.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Han is about to be frozen in carbonite]''
:'''Leia''': I love you.
:'''Han''': Fuck off.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Darth Vader (Stewie)''': C'mon Luke, join the dark side. It's really cool.
:'''Luke (Chris):''': Well, who's in it?
:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Uh, there's me, the Emperor, this guy Scott. You'll meet him, he's awesome. Oh, and James Caan.
:'''Caan''': I'll be your friend if you let me kick your ass.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Slave 1 flees Cloud City and blasts away with Han.]''
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Oh no! We've lost Han! They've taken him to Jabba's palace!
:'''C-3P0 (Quagmire)''': Well, even though we know exactly where he is, we should rescue him in three years.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lando (Mort)''': Don't worry. We'll find Jabba the Hutt and that bounty hunter and we'll get Han back.
:'''Chewbacca (Brian)''': Why are you wearing Han's clothes? ''[to the home audience]'' Seriously, watch the actual movie. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in this scene. It's really weird.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Y'know? I mean it doesn't have to be as father and son, it can be just as, a-y'know- as two really close guys who just happen to be men y'know, just, two good-lookin' guys sharin' a cramped office runnin' the galaxy together &amp;mdash; y'know just, gettin' the job done y'know &amp;mdash; maybe we, maybe we do it occasionally, but it's not weird, y'know, cause we're just, two guys with ragin' goals, y'know? I mean it's not even about the doin' it part &amp;mdash; but thats a part of it &amp;mdash; but it's not- it's not the whole thing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[after Darth Vader has cut off Luke's right hand, Leia is about rescue him]''
:'''Leia (Lois):''' ''[through the ships loud-speakers]'' Luke, if that's you, wave your right hand! ''[beat]'' I said wave your ''right'' hand! ''[beat] Your right hand!''
:'''Luke (Chris):''' ''[off-screen]'' It's me, you fuckers!

===''[[w:Partial Terms of Endearment|Partial Terms of Endearment]]''===

:'''Lois''': Peter, this is Naomi.
:'''Peter''': Wait? You mean you too used to, you know, bump Japanese cartoon monkey logo mouths?
:'''Lois''': Well, let's just say Naomi and I experimented quite a bit in college.
:'''Peter''': No way! My wife messed around with another chick! Thank you, God!
:''[cut to God sitting on cloud looking down]''
:'''God''': Don't mention it, Peter.
:'''Chorus''': ''[sing]'' God! He knows what turns you on!
:'''God''': ''[to the home audience]'' Have fun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[at the end of the episode]''
:'''Lois''': Well, I think we made the right decision. I mean, sure. Havin' a baby costs a fortune. There's cutbacks on things we love. There's diapers and cryin' and late nights with no sleep. Flu shots and mumps and driver's ed and college tuition. But you know what? It's one more person to share the world with. Another little voice in the back seat of the car. One more Griffin to love and to love us in return.
:''[after a few seconds of silence, Peter turns to the camera]''
:'''Peter''': ''[to the home audience]'' We had the abortion.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|Family Guy}}

::'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

[[Category:Family Guy seasons]]

[[ru:Гриффины/Восьмой сезон]]</text>
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    <revision>
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      <parentid>3154725</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:12:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.145.117.153</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Sorry, but without indisputable and legal proof, this stays as is.</comment>
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      <text bytes="27574" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[Family Guy]]''''' is an animated television series created by [[Seth MacFarlane]] for [[w:FOX|FOX]] in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]], production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

:'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

===''[[w:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]''===
:''[Brian and Stewie beam into a universe animated by Disney]''
:'''Brian''': What the hell? What's happened to us?
:'''Stewie''': I don't know, but suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy. It seems we're in a universe where everything is drawn by Disney.
:'''Brian''': Look! There's our house!
:''[Brian and Stewie run towards it]''
:'''Stewie''': ''[laughing]'' Look how gaily we run!
:&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian and Stewie beam into the Robot Chicken universe]''
:'''Brian''': Whoa, this is trippy.
:'''Stewie''': I should say so. We're in the ''Robot Chicken'' universe.
:''[Camera rotates around the two and shows Peter and Chris sitting on the couch]''
:'''R.C. Peter''': Will you guys move? You're blocking the TV.
:''[Duke, Optimus Prime, Lion-O, and He-man enter the room]''
:'''R.C. Chris''': Look! G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man! Yay! Those shows existed!
:'''Stewie''': How's it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds?
:'''R.C. Chris''': Screw you!
:'''Stewie''': Bye!
:''[Brian and Stewie beam out of the universe]''

===''[[w:Family Goy|Family Goy]]''===

:'''Brian''': That's the problem with this world: Too many people go overboard with what they believe, like Quagmire when he thought ''he'' was the one getting the [[w:The Cleveland Show|spin-off]].&lt;br&gt;
:''[cut to: Quagmire walking down Spooner Street]''&lt;br&gt;
:'''Quagmire''': See you later, bitches! Have fun with your stupid goddamn Giant Chicken jokes and your [[w:Conway Twitty|Conway Twitty]]... Hey, why is there a moving truck outside Cleveland's house?

===''[[w:Spies Reminiscent of Us|Spies Reminiscent of Us]]''===
:'''Clerk''': Have you made a reservation, Peter?
:'''Peter''': Uh... yeah! I did it before her!
:'''Clerk''': Who did you talk to?
:'''Peter''': Uhhh...Dave...Al-Jeff...illium...Tonio?
:'''Clerk''': Dave Aljeffilliumtonio hasn't worked here for four years!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peter''': Listen, I gotta tell you guys, I've watched all your movies, like, a thousand times.
:'''[[w:Chevy Chase|Chevy Chase]]''': You saw ''[[w:Cops and Robbersons|Cops and Robbersons]]''?
:''[[w:Dan Aykroyd|Dan Aykroyd]]''': And ''[[w:My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien]]''?
:'''Peter''': Almost all of them.

===''[[w:Brian's Got a Brand New Bag|Brian's Got a Brand New Bag]]''===
:'''Peter''': ''[kicks the Drive Thru window]'' Keep the change. ''[zoom on Peter]'' Road House.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Rita''': ''[after breaking up with Brian]'' You can leave my apartment key on the davenport.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the dresser]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': No. The davenport- the chesterfield.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the cushioned bench]'' On this?
:'''Rita''': No. Does that look like a divan to you?
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the windowsill]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': ''[sighs]'' Leave them on the chifferobe.
:'''Brian''': ''[crossly]'' You know what? Just take your fucking keys because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. ''[slams door]''

===''[[w:Hannah Banana|Hannah Banana]]''===
:'''Monkey''': Now, I know this looks bad, me living in your son's closet and all, but it's a very complex situation. You see, basically, I got home from work one day, and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's terrible.
:'''Monkey''': I fell into a deep depression after the divorce which ended up costing me my job. All my money was gone, which means I lost the house. So I moved into Chris' closet just until I got back on my feet again. Wound up living in there for 9 years.
:'''Peter''': Oh, my God! You've missed so much! Like when America was attacked by mentally challenged suicide bombers.
:''[cut to the bottom of a skyscraper; a suicide bomber on a bicycle rides toward the building]''
:'''Bomber''': Allahu Akbar!
:''[he suddenly crashes]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[the monkey has moved into Jake Tucker's closet at the end of the episode and does to Jake exactly what he did to Chris before he left]''
:'''Jake''':  Dad, there's an evil monkey in my closet!
:'''Tom''': ''[from outside the room]'' I don't care, son. I just do not care.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Baby|Quagmire's Baby]]''===
:'''Peter''': Now hang on, Quagmire, there's no guarantee that it's your baby.
:'''Baby''': Giggity?
:'''Quagmire''': Oooh, I say that...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Bitch Brian''': Peter, I sharpened a pencil in my bum and now I need a band-aid.

===''[[w:Jerome is the New Black|Jerome is the New Black]]''===
:''[Brian and Quagmire are at a restaurant and it isn't going well]''
:'''Brian''': I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?
:'''Quagmire''': Okay, I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say ''[mocks Brian]'' &quot;Oh, I'll get you later&quot;, but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of ''Catcher in the Rye'' and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, He's you. God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself into thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no &quot;a&quot; in the word &quot;definite&quot;. And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should ''[mocks again]'' &quot;legalize pot, man&quot;, how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have ''you'' done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because ''[mocks again]'' &quot;religion is for idiots&quot;. Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?! You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a ''bore''. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! ''[sighs, puts his napkin on the table, and sets to leave]'' I'll see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Peter apologizes to Jerome]''
:'''Jerome''': We cool, Peter. We cool. ''[They shake hands]'' But listen. There is something I gotta fess up to. While I was living with y'all, I had a lot of nasty-ass sex with Meg.
:'''Peter''': I don't care about that.

===''[[w:Dog Gone|Dog Gone]]''===
:''[Brian is drinking his sorrows away at the pizza parlor]''
:'''Brian''': Lois was right. I'm not a writer. I'm a joke. I'm one big, fat, ridiculous joke.
:''[the camera pulls out to show Bill of ''Family Circus'' sitting beside him]''
:'''Bill''': Well, maybe you didn't try hard enough, Brian.
:'''Brian''': You know what, father from ''Family Circus''? All you do is judge other people. Every day in the funnies, all you ever do is judge. Why don't you shut your goddamn mouth for once and go home and ''[bleep]'' your wife in the face?
:'''Bill''': You know what? ''[stands up]'' That's exactly what I'm gonna do. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Brian announces he's starting The Quahog Aminal Equal Rights League]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's a great idea, Brian. Maybe you could join PETA.
:'''Peter''': Join me for what?
:'''Lois''': No, PETA, the organization.
:'''Peter''': What organization?
:'''Lois''': PETA.
:'''Peter''': What?!
:'''Lois''': PETA is an acronym, Peter.
:'''Peter''': No, I'm not. I'm Catholic!
:'''Stewie''': Are we doing this?
:'''Lois''': No, Peter, I'm just saying if this meeting goes well, Brian could be part of a PETA rally.
:'''Peter''': Someone is having a rally for me now?
:'''Lois''': No, for PETA.
:'''Peter''': That's me! I'm Peter!
:'''Lois''': I'm not talking about you, Peter! I'm talking about PETA.
:'''Peter''': Someone better have something to say to me pretty damn soon or I'm gonna have something to say to them. I am very busy!
:'''Chris''': I think Betty White is in PETA.
:'''Peter''': That doesn't even make any sense!

===''[[w:Business Guy (Family Guy)|Business Guy]]''===
:'''Peter''': Here are some of the new products we'll be unveiling. ''[flips page]'' The African-American heart monitor.
:''[cut to a scene at a hospital]''
:'''Monitor''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ''[monitor stops]'' Aw, he dead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Carter, I am gonna throw you the best bachelor party ever!
:'''Carter''': Why would you do that?
:'''Peter''': 'Cause I'm your pal and I want to help. Like Cheeseburger Helper.
:''[cut to Peter in the kitchen and Hamburger Helper walks in]''
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Hey there, Peter. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family?
:'''Peter''': Sure!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Okay, then let's...
:''[the camera zooms out revealing Cheeseburger Helper]''
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': Hold on there, Peter! I've got something even better!
:'''Peter''': Oh, really?
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': You bet. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family...with cheese?
:'''Peter''': What? Wha...I-I don't...I-I could just take cheese and put it on the thing he's doing.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[shouting angrily]'' No! It won't be the same!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': ''[to Peter]'' Look, he's my brother. He didn't get enough oxygen at birth. He's never gonna be quite in step with the rest of us, and this is sort of my way of taking care of him.
:'''Peter''': Well, that's nice of you, but it was so much simpler when it was just you and me doing our thing.
:'''Hamburger Helper''': I know, but just let him have this one. Odds are he won't even come back with the actual food.
:'''Peter''': Okay, Cheeseburger Helper, you're on.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[skipping merrily away]'' Yay! Cheese, cheese, cheese! Yay!
:'''Peter''': ''[to Hamburger Helper]'' I'm so sorry for your burden. You're a good brother.

=== ''[[w:Big Man on Hippocampus|Big Man on Hippocampus]]'' ===
:''[Peter has amnesia]''
:'''Chris''': Hi, Dad. I'm Chris. I'm your son.
:'''Peter''': Never seen you before in my life.
:'''Chris''': Really? Then I must be invisible! ''[takes off his clothes and runs outside]'' Hey, everybody! I'm invisible!
:'''Herbert''': Oh, no, you're not! Hot diggity!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Morning, nice people who I still don't know your names and who mean nothing to me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I certainly hope that doesn't apply to me, especially after last night.
:'''Peter''': You got a point there, hot stuff. ''[smacks her rear end]'' And if sex with the rest you is half as good as it was with her, then I think we're all gonna get along just fine.
:'''Chris''': Yay!
:'''Lois''': Well, no, no, Peter. You can't have sex with the kids.
:'''Meg''': Well, I wish you'd told him that before he lost his memory. ''[everyone else gasps]'' It was a joke! I was just making a joke!
:'''Stewie''': ''That's'' your sense of humor?!
:'''Meg''': I was just kidding! God!
:'''Lois''': Meg, that's awful!
:'''Chris''': Geez, open your mouth for a joke once and ''that's'' what you come up with?
:'''Brian''': That's messed up, Meg.
:'''Meg''': I was just trying to be funny.
:'''Lois''': That wasn't funny, that was just dark.
:'''Stewie''': Yeah, that's your father!
:'''Chris''': ''[shoves Meg out of the kitchen]'' Oh, get out, Meg! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, get out! Out, out, out! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, and get out of here!
:'''Peter''': Heh, heh, heh.

===''[[w:Dial Meg for Murder|Dial Meg for Murder]]''===
:'''Joe''': You're under arrest for harboring an escaped convict.
:'''Meg''': Oh, well, that's only fair, because, after all, I did hide him from the... ''[reacts]'' WHAAAA?!!
 &lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Woman''': ''[about the rodeo]'' This is a disgusting display.
:'''Brian''': Boy, you can say that again. Nothing like a bunch of adult men teasing animals for fun. It's amazing that this is still legal. The only reason I'm here 'cause my idiot friend is in the rodeo.
:'''Woman''': I only came 'cause I'm writing a magazine article. One of the competitors is a 13-year-old female riding prodigy. Apparently she got on the bull to miscarry, and found out she had a talent for it.

===''[[w:Extra Large Medium|Extra Large Medium]]''===
:'''Diane''': Our top story: The search for two local boys lost in the woods drags on into its third day.
:'''Tom''': That's right, Diane. Still no sign of Chris and Stewie Griffin. Here's the update from the local authorities who are overseeing the search party's efforts.
:''[cut to the park ranger at the forest]''
:'''Park Ranger''': We're still very optimistic that we're gonna find these kids, and we just want to urge everyone not to give up hope.
:''[Joe and three other cops in the background]''
:'''Joe''': All right, everyone, we are officially looking for corpses. Repeat, this is now a recovery effort. We are officially looking for corpses, so let's get back out there, bring back those dead bodies.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ellen''': Are you going to be this rude all evening? You haven't asked me anything about myself.
:'''Chris''': Oh, um, sorry, um... So what do your parents do?
:'''Ellen''': That's better. Well, my dad's an accountant and my mom is the former Governor of Alaska.

===''[[w:Go Stewie Go|Go Stewie Go]]''===
:''[On the Jolly Farm set]''
:'''Randall''': Quiet on the set! I'm trying to rehearse!
:'''Julie''': ''(to Stewie)'' It's okay. Randall's just getting into character.
:'''Stewie''': Is he playing a dick?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lois''': Meg, honey, I think we need to talk.
:'''Meg''': I don't wanna talk to you. Get out!
:'''Lois''': Look, I understand that you're upset.
:'''Meg''': You made out with my boyfriend. How could you do that?
:'''Lois''': I don't know, sweetheart. But I am so, so sorry. It was an awful thing I did. I never meant to steal him from you.
:'''Meg''': Is that what you think? You stole him from me? Are you kidding? You couldn't steal him from me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I do know a few things, Meg. And clearly, if I wanted him, I could have him.
:'''Meg''': You really think you stand a chance? Look at you. You're old. You're nothing. You couldn't even imagine the things I do for him. And this isn't about making out. This is about power tools. Yeah, I go to places you couldn't get back from. I'll do anything. You don't know me. ''[She rips a tooth out]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, my God!
:'''Meg''': He hangs me from the shower rod with your old bras and then we laugh at you. Now get out of my room!
:'''Lois''': Well, when you're ready to talk...

===''[[w:Peter-assment|Peter-assment]]''===
:'''Quagmire''': If you have sex with her, you give her all the power, and if you don't have sex with her, you're gay.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Quagmire''': ''[to Angela]'' Thanks for having me in your home, and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire.

===''[[w:Brian Griffin's House of Payne|Brian Griffin's House of Payne]]''===
:'''Stewie''': Wow, Brian, you must feel like [[Hitler]] after he wrote ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:''[cut to Hitler with a publisher]''
:'''Publisher''': Well, we read it and we don't like it...
:'''Hitler''': ''[dejected]'' Oh.
:'''Publisher''': We love it!
:''[They both laugh]''
:'''Hitler''': You got me! I could have killed you, Mr. Weinberg!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The executives want to cast [[James Woods]] in Brian's pilot]''
:'''Brian''': James Woods is insane. And on top of that, he's, like, 60. The character of Byron is 25 years old
:'''Female Executive''': I know, I know. But what if he wasn't?
:'''Brian''': What? But he is.
:'''Female Executive''': ...n't.
:'''Brian''': My God, this is a nightmare. I thought you said you weren't gonna mess with my show.
:'''Todd''': It's a small change, Brian. You won't even notice it.
:'''James''': You guys aren't gonna fucking believe this. Call a tow truck. I just banged into some homo's Prius.

===''[[w:April in Quahog|April in Quahog]]''===

:'''Peter''': So you gonna introduce me to your little friends?
:'''Stewie''': That’s Trap-Jaw, that’s Optimus Prime, that’s Destro, and that’s a Care Bear.
:'''Peter''': You having a tea party?
:'''Stewie''': No, we’re working out a land deal. Trap-Jaw is trying to get a variance to build an unpermitted structure within 10 feet of Optimus Prime’s property line.  Destro’s the city councilman who’s telling Trap-Jaw that he has to file it as an accessory structure and even then it can only be built at the rear of the lot. And the Care Bear is just a Care Bear.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[the day after Peter, while on Crystal meth, jumps through Stewie's ceiling]''
:'''Stewie:''' When you jumped through my ceiling, you let an owl in. I know they're supposed to be wise, but all it did was shriek and throw-up half-digested mice.

===''[[w:Brian &amp; Stewie|Brian &amp; Stewie]]''===
:'''Brian''': You've had energy bars this whole time? You idiot!
:'''Stewie''': Not energy bars. Jenny Craig Anytime Bars. And you bitched yourself out a bite.
:'''Brian''': All right, I'm sorry, all right? Can I have one, please? 
:'''Stewie''': All right.
:'''Brian''': Can you give me a caramel one? 
:'''Stewie''': No. You can have, um, um, you can have, um - You can have strawberry yogurt.
:'''Brian''': I don't like strawberry yogurt.
:'''Stewie''': Picky for someone who eats the same food out of a bowl on the floor every night.
:'''Brian''': Okay, I get it.
:'''Stewie''': A bowl that starts in the kitchen and ends up in the living room.
:'''Brian''': Shut up.
:'''Stewie''': Forgets four seconds later that he ate it.
:'''Brian''': Shut up!
:'''Stewie''': Ooh, harsh tone. You just got bumped down to coconut mint.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stewie''': Wanting to kill yourself... Well, I think that's pretty selfish of you.
:'''Brian''': How is that selfish? 
:'''Stewie''': What would I do if you weren't here? Hmm? You're the only one who makes my life bearable.
:'''Brian''': I thought you said I was the best of a bad situation.
:'''Stewie''': I was just trying to hurt you because you hurt me. But the truth is you're my only friend, Brian. lf I didn't have you, I'd be lost.
:'''Brian''': Ah, you'd be okay.
:'''Stewie''': No, I wouldn't. I don't really care for anybody else. Just you. You're the only one I like.
:'''Brian''': Well, thanks.
:'''Stewie''': ''[uncomfortable]'' I like you a lot. I guess you could say I really like you. I would even dare to go a little further, perhaps. I care a great deal about you. A very great deal. Maybe even deeper than that. ''[mumbling]'' I... I love you. I mean, you know, not in like a, &quot;Hey, let's have an underpants party,&quot; or whatever grown-ups do when they're in love. I mean, I love you as one loves another person whom one simply cannot do without.
:'''Brian''': Well, I I love you too, Stewie.
:'''Stewie''': You give my life purpose. And maybe that's enough. Because that's just about the greatest gift one friend can give another.
:'''Brian''': Thank you.
:'''Stewie''': Hey.
:'''Brian''': What? 
:'''Stewie''': Will you read to me? 
:'''Brian''': Sure.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Dad|Quagmire's Dad]]''===
:''[after Brian realizes that the woman he had sex with was Quagmire's father, he throws up for a long time, then screams]''
:'''Stewie''': What?! What the hell?! What's wrong with you?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER!
:'''Stewie''': What?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER AT THE MARRIOT!!
:'''Stewie''': ''[screams]'' Why?!
:'''Brian''': I didn't know! I didn't know it was her!
:'''Stewie''': OH, MY GOD!
:''[both scream]''
:'''Brian''': HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?! WHEN THEY MOVE TO A NEW PLACE, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO NOTIFY THE NEIGHBORHOOD! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!
:'''Stewie''': He didn't move! He's just visiting!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian shudders after his &quot;accident&quot; in the shower and tensely scrubs his fur coat with a sponge. He turns off the shower and puts a towel around his waist. He steps out and then looks at the mirror. Then he hears a bang]''
:'''Quagmire''': ''[offscreen]'' Where is he?! Where is that self-centered, arrogant son of a bitch?! ''[Brian quickly runs to the master bedroom. He gets under the bed until...]'' Get out of there, you dirty little bastard, you're dead! ''[drags him out then punches and kicks Brian repeatedly through the house]'' If I ever see you anywhere near my house, I'll blow your head off! Now lay there and die, you piece of crap! ''[Quagmire exits]''

:''[after beating Brian up, Quagmire exits the house, closes the door, and starts to walk away, but Brian, now bloodied and bruised, but still able to move, lividly opens the door]''
:'''Brian''': Hey! ''[Quagmire turns around]'' I fucked your dad!
:''[he slams the door]''

===''[[w:The Splendid Source|The Splendid Source]]''===

:''[two men in a car shoot Peter's back window]''
:'''Quagmire''': What the hell was that about, who were those guys!?
:'''Joe''': I don't know but I'll tell you this, I saw one of them back at the bar in Stoolbend.
:'''Peter''': You think they were following us?
:'''Joe''': Either that or they got a grudge against our back windshield.
:'''Quagmire''': Aw, Joe, that's so dumb.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Peter''': Hey, you know, Cleveland, you better hide the markers from your kids. Somebody colored in your Jesus.
:'''Rallo''': Somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat ass.

===''[[w:Something, Something, Something, Dark Side|Something, Something, Something, Dark Side]]''===
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking... nerfherder!
:''[Han (Peter) punches her in the face]''
:'''Han''': You can't use that word! Only ''we'' can use that word!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown into an asteroid field]''
:'''Leia''': We're gonna get pulverized out here!
:'''Han''': Look, we've got four or five of the main characters on this ship, I think we'll be fine! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown out of the worm (Meg) in the asteroid]''
:'''Worm''': How come I never get any lines in these things?
:''[Han (Peter) flies the ship back to the worm]''
:'''Han''': Shut up, Meg.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Han is about to be frozen in carbonite]''
:'''Leia''': I love you.
:'''Han''': Fuck off.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Darth Vader (Stewie)''': C'mon Luke, join the dark side. It's really cool.
:'''Luke (Chris):''': Well, who's in it?
:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Uh, there's me, the Emperor, this guy Scott. You'll meet him, he's awesome. Oh, and James Caan.
:'''Caan''': I'll be your friend if you let me kick your ass.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Slave 1 flees Cloud City and blasts away with Han.]''
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Oh no! We've lost Han! They've taken him to Jabba's palace!
:'''C-3P0 (Quagmire)''': Well, even though we know exactly where he is, we should rescue him in three years.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lando (Mort)''': Don't worry. We'll find Jabba the Hutt and that bounty hunter and we'll get Han back.
:'''Chewbacca (Brian)''': Why are you wearing Han's clothes? ''[to the home audience]'' Seriously, watch the actual movie. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in this scene. It's really weird.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Y'know? I mean it doesn't have to be as father and son, it can be just as, a-y'know- as two really close guys who just happen to be men y'know, just, two good-lookin' guys sharin' a cramped office runnin' the galaxy together &amp;mdash; y'know just, gettin' the job done y'know &amp;mdash; maybe we, maybe we do it occasionally, but it's not weird, y'know, cause we're just, two guys with ragin' goals, y'know? I mean it's not even about the doin' it part &amp;mdash; but thats a part of it &amp;mdash; but it's not- it's not the whole thing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[after Darth Vader has cut off Luke's right hand, Leia is about rescue him]''
:'''Leia (Lois):''' ''[through the ships loud-speakers]'' Luke, if that's you, wave your right hand! ''[beat]'' I said wave your ''right'' hand! ''[beat] Your right hand!''
:'''Luke (Chris):''' ''[off-screen]'' It's me, you fuckers!

===''[[w:Partial Terms of Endearment|Partial Terms of Endearment]]''===

:'''Lois''': Peter, this is Naomi.
:'''Peter''': Wait? You mean you too used to, you know, bump Japanese cartoon monkey logo mouths?
:'''Lois''': Well, let's just say Naomi and I experimented quite a bit in college.
:'''Peter''': No way! My wife messed around with another chick! Thank you, God!
:''[cut to God sitting on cloud looking down]''
:'''God''': Don't mention it, Peter.
:'''Chorus''': ''[sing]'' God! He knows what turns you on!
:'''God''': ''[to the home audience]'' Have fun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[at the end of the episode]''
:'''Lois''': Well, I think we made the right decision. I mean, sure. Havin' a baby costs a fortune. There's cutbacks on things we love. There's diapers and cryin' and late nights with no sleep. Flu shots and mumps and driver's ed and college tuition. But you know what? It's one more person to share the world with. Another little voice in the back seat of the car. One more Griffin to love and to love us in return.
:''[after a few seconds of silence, Peter turns to the camera]''
:'''Peter''': ''[to the home audience]'' We had the abortion.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|Family Guy}}

::'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

[[Category:Family Guy seasons]]

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      <text bytes="27097" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[Family Guy]]''''' is an animated television series created by [[Seth MacFarlane]] for [[w:FOX|FOX]] in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]], production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

:'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

===''[[w:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]''===
:''[Brian and Stewie beam into a universe animated by Disney]''
:'''Brian''': What the hell? What's happened to us?
:'''Stewie''': I don't know, but suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy. It seems we're in a universe where everything is drawn by Disney.
:'''Brian''': Look! There's our house!
:''[Brian and Stewie run towards it]''
:'''Stewie''': ''[laughing]'' Look how gaily we run!
:&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian and Stewie beam into the Robot Chicken universe]''
:'''Brian''': Whoa, this is trippy.
:'''Stewie''': I should say so. We're in the ''Robot Chicken'' universe.
:''[Camera rotates around the two and shows Peter and Chris sitting on the couch]''
:'''R.C. Peter''': Will you guys move? You're blocking the TV.
:''[Duke, Optimus Prime, Lion-O, and He-man enter the room]''
:'''R.C. Chris''': Look! G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man! Yay! Those shows existed!
:'''Stewie''': How's it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds?
:'''R.C. Chris''': Screw you!
:'''Stewie''': Bye!
:''[Brian and Stewie beam out of the universe]''

===''[[w:Family Goy|Family Goy]]''===

:'''Brian''': That's the problem with this world: Too many people go overboard with what they believe, like Quagmire when he thought ''he'' was the one getting the [[w:The Cleveland Show|spin-off]].&lt;br&gt;
:''[cut to: Quagmire walking down Spooner Street]''&lt;br&gt;
:'''Quagmire''': See you later, bitches! Have fun with your stupid goddamn Giant Chicken jokes and your [[w:Conway Twitty|Conway Twitty]]... Hey, why is there a moving truck outside Cleveland's house?

===''[[w:Spies Reminiscent of Us|Spies Reminiscent of Us]]''===
:'''Clerk''': Have you made a reservation, Peter?
:'''Peter''': Uh... yeah! I did it before her!
:'''Clerk''': Who did you talk to?
:'''Peter''': Uhhh...Dave...Al-Jeff...illium...Tonio?
:'''Clerk''': Dave Aljeffilliumtonio hasn't worked here for four years!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peter''': Listen, I gotta tell you guys, I've watched all your movies, like, a thousand times.
:'''[[w:Chevy Chase|Chevy Chase]]''': You saw ''[[w:Cops and Robbersons|Cops and Robbersons]]''?
:''[[w:Dan Aykroyd|Dan Aykroyd]]''': And ''[[w:My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien|My Stepmother Is An Alien]]''?
:'''Peter''': Almost all of them.

===''[[w:Brian's Got a Brand New Bag|Brian's Got a Brand New Bag]]''===
:'''Peter''': ''[kicks the Drive Thru window]'' Keep the change. ''[zoom on Peter]'' Road House.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Rita''': ''[after breaking up with Brian]'' You can leave my apartment key on the davenport.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the dresser]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': No. The davenport- the chesterfield.
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the cushioned bench]'' On this?
:'''Rita''': No. Does that look like a divan to you?
:'''Brian''': ''[about to set them on the windowsill]'' Here?
:'''Rita''': ''[sighs]'' Leave them on the chifferobe.
:'''Brian''': ''[crossly]'' You know what? Just take your fucking keys because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. ''[slams door]''

===''[[w:Hannah Banana|Hannah Banana]]''===
:'''Monkey''': Now, I know this looks bad, me living in your son's closet and all, but it's a very complex situation. You see, basically, I got home from work one day, and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's terrible.
:'''Monkey''': I fell into a deep depression after the divorce which ended up costing me my job. All my money was gone, which means I lost the house. So I moved into Chris' closet just until I got back on my feet again. Wound up living in there for 9 years.
:'''Peter''': Oh, my God! You've missed so much! Like when America was attacked by mentally challenged suicide bombers.
:''[cut to the bottom of a skyscraper; a suicide bomber on a bicycle rides toward the building]''
:'''Bomber''': Allahu Akbar!
:''[he suddenly crashes]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[the monkey has moved into Jake Tucker's closet at the end of the episode and does to Jake exactly what he did to Chris before he left]''
:'''Jake''':  Dad, there's an evil monkey in my closet!
:'''Tom''': ''[from outside the room]'' I don't care, son. I just do not care.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Baby|Quagmire's Baby]]''===
:'''Peter''': Now hang on, Quagmire, there's no guarantee that it's your baby.
:'''Baby''': Giggity?
:'''Quagmire''': Oooh, I say that...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Bitch Brian''': Peter, I sharpened a pencil in my bum and now I need a band-aid.

===''[[w:Jerome is the New Black|Jerome is the New Black]]''===
:''[Brian and Quagmire are at a restaurant and it isn't going well]''
:'''Brian''': I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?
:'''Quagmire''': Okay, I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say ''[mocks Brian]'' &quot;Oh, I'll get you later&quot;, but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of ''Catcher in the Rye'' and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, He's you. God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself into thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no &quot;a&quot; in the word &quot;definite&quot;. And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should ''[mocks again]'' &quot;legalize pot, man&quot;, how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have ''you'' done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there. You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait. You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter because ''[mocks again]'' &quot;religion is for idiots&quot;. Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?! You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a ''bore''. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! ''[sighs, puts his napkin on the table, and sets to leave]'' I'll see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Peter apologizes to Jerome]''
:'''Jerome''': We cool, Peter. We cool. ''[They shake hands]'' But listen. There is something I gotta fess up to. While I was living with y'all, I had a lot of nasty-ass sex with Meg.
:'''Peter''': I don't care about that.

===''[[w:Dog Gone|Dog Gone]]''===

:''[Peter's mishaps cause a car to crash into Cleveland's empty house; the empty tub crashes to the ground]''
:'''Peter''': Oh, that's right. Cleveland moved.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Brian announces he's starting The Quahog Aminal Equal Rights League]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, that's a great idea, Brian. Maybe you could join PETA.
:'''Peter''': Join me for what?
:'''Lois''': No, PETA, the organization.
:'''Peter''': What organization?
:'''Lois''': PETA.
:'''Peter''': What?!
:'''Lois''': PETA is an acronym, Peter.
:'''Peter''': No, I'm not. I'm Catholic!
:'''Stewie''': Are we doing this?
:'''Lois''': No, Peter, I'm just saying if this meeting goes well, Brian could be part of a PETA rally.
:'''Peter''': Someone is having a rally for me now?
:'''Lois''': No, for PETA.
:'''Peter''': That's me! I'm Peter!
:'''Lois''': I'm not talking about you, Peter! I'm talking about PETA.
:'''Peter''': Someone better have something to say to me pretty damn soon or I'm gonna have something to say to them. I am very busy!
:'''Chris''': I think Betty White is in PETA.
:'''Peter''': That doesn't even make any sense!

===''[[w:Business Guy (Family Guy)|Business Guy]]''===
:'''Peter''': Here are some of the new products we'll be unveiling. ''[flips page]'' The African-American heart monitor.
:''[cut to a scene at a hospital]''
:'''Monitor''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ''[monitor stops]'' Aw, he dead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Carter, I am gonna throw you the best bachelor party ever!
:'''Carter''': Why would you do that?
:'''Peter''': 'Cause I'm your pal and I want to help. Like Cheeseburger Helper.
:''[cut to Peter in the kitchen and Hamburger Helper walks in]''
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Hey there, Peter. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family?
:'''Peter''': Sure!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': Okay, then let's...
:''[the camera zooms out revealing Cheeseburger Helper]''
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': Hold on there, Peter! I've got something even better!
:'''Peter''': Oh, really?
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': You bet. How would you like to take a half a pound of hamburger and make a delicious meal for the whole family...with cheese?
:'''Peter''': What? Wha...I-I don't...I-I could just take cheese and put it on the thing he's doing.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[shouting angrily]'' No! It won't be the same!
:'''Hamburger Helper''': ''[to Peter]'' Look, he's my brother. He didn't get enough oxygen at birth. He's never gonna be quite in step with the rest of us, and this is sort of my way of taking care of him.
:'''Peter''': Well, that's nice of you, but it was so much simpler when it was just you and me doing our thing.
:'''Hamburger Helper''': I know, but just let him have this one. Odds are he won't even come back with the actual food.
:'''Peter''': Okay, Cheeseburger Helper, you're on.
:'''Cheeseburger Helper''': ''[skipping merrily away]'' Yay! Cheese, cheese, cheese! Yay!
:'''Peter''': ''[to Hamburger Helper]'' I'm so sorry for your burden. You're a good brother.

=== ''[[w:Big Man on Hippocampus|Big Man on Hippocampus]]'' ===
:''[Peter has amnesia]''
:'''Chris''': Hi, Dad. I'm Chris. I'm your son.
:'''Peter''': Never seen you before in my life.
:'''Chris''': Really? Then I must be invisible! ''[takes off his clothes and runs outside]'' Hey, everybody! I'm invisible!
:'''Herbert''': Oh, no, you're not! Hot diggity!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter''': Morning, nice people who I still don't know your names and who mean nothing to me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I certainly hope that doesn't apply to me, especially after last night.
:'''Peter''': You got a point there, hot stuff. ''[smacks her rear end]'' And if sex with the rest you is half as good as it was with her, then I think we're all gonna get along just fine.
:'''Chris''': Yay!
:'''Lois''': Well, no, no, Peter. You can't have sex with the kids.
:'''Meg''': Well, I wish you'd told him that before he lost his memory. ''[everyone else gasps]'' It was a joke! I was just making a joke!
:'''Stewie''': ''That's'' your sense of humor?!
:'''Meg''': I was just kidding! God!
:'''Lois''': Meg, that's awful!
:'''Chris''': Geez, open your mouth for a joke once and ''that's'' what you come up with?
:'''Brian''': That's messed up, Meg.
:'''Meg''': I was just trying to be funny.
:'''Lois''': That wasn't funny, that was just dark.
:'''Stewie''': Yeah, that's your father!
:'''Chris''': ''[shoves Meg out of the kitchen]'' Oh, get out, Meg! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, get out! Out, out, out! Get out of the kitchen! Go on, and get out of here!
:'''Peter''': Heh, heh, heh.

===''[[w:Dial Meg for Murder|Dial Meg for Murder]]''===
:'''Joe''': You're under arrest for harboring an escaped convict.
:'''Meg''': Oh, well, that's only fair, because, after all, I did hide him from the... ''[reacts]'' WHAAAA?!!
 &lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Woman''': ''[about the rodeo]'' This is a disgusting display.
:'''Brian''': Boy, you can say that again. Nothing like a bunch of adult men teasing animals for fun. It's amazing that this is still legal. The only reason I'm here 'cause my idiot friend is in the rodeo.
:'''Woman''': I only came 'cause I'm writing a magazine article. One of the competitors is a 13-year-old female riding prodigy. Apparently she got on the bull to miscarry, and found out she had a talent for it.

===''[[w:Extra Large Medium|Extra Large Medium]]''===
:'''Diane''': Our top story: The search for two local boys lost in the woods drags on into its third day.
:'''Tom''': That's right, Diane. Still no sign of Chris and Stewie Griffin. Here's the update from the local authorities who are overseeing the search party's efforts.
:''[cut to the park ranger at the forest]''
:'''Park Ranger''': We're still very optimistic that we're gonna find these kids, and we just want to urge everyone not to give up hope.
:''[Joe and three other cops in the background]''
:'''Joe''': All right, everyone, we are officially looking for corpses. Repeat, this is now a recovery effort. We are officially looking for corpses, so let's get back out there, bring back those dead bodies.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ellen''': Are you going to be this rude all evening? You haven't asked me anything about myself.
:'''Chris''': Oh, um, sorry, um... So what do your parents do?
:'''Ellen''': That's better. Well, my dad's an accountant and my mom is the former Governor of Alaska.

===''[[w:Go Stewie Go|Go Stewie Go]]''===
:''[On the Jolly Farm set]''
:'''Randall''': Quiet on the set! I'm trying to rehearse!
:'''Julie''': ''(to Stewie)'' It's okay. Randall's just getting into character.
:'''Stewie''': Is he playing a dick?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lois''': Meg, honey, I think we need to talk.
:'''Meg''': I don't wanna talk to you. Get out!
:'''Lois''': Look, I understand that you're upset.
:'''Meg''': You made out with my boyfriend. How could you do that?
:'''Lois''': I don't know, sweetheart. But I am so, so sorry. It was an awful thing I did. I never meant to steal him from you.
:'''Meg''': Is that what you think? You stole him from me? Are you kidding? You couldn't steal him from me.
:'''Lois''': Well, I do know a few things, Meg. And clearly, if I wanted him, I could have him.
:'''Meg''': You really think you stand a chance? Look at you. You're old. You're nothing. You couldn't even imagine the things I do for him. And this isn't about making out. This is about power tools. Yeah, I go to places you couldn't get back from. I'll do anything. You don't know me. ''[She rips a tooth out]''
:'''Lois''': Oh, my God!
:'''Meg''': He hangs me from the shower rod with your old bras and then we laugh at you. Now get out of my room!
:'''Lois''': Well, when you're ready to talk...

===''[[w:Peter-assment|Peter-assment]]''===
:'''Quagmire''': If you have sex with her, you give her all the power, and if you don't have sex with her, you're gay.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Quagmire''': ''[to Angela]'' Thanks for having me in your home, and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire.

===''[[w:Brian Griffin's House of Payne|Brian Griffin's House of Payne]]''===
:'''Stewie''': Wow, Brian, you must feel like [[Hitler]] after he wrote ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:''[cut to Hitler with a publisher]''
:'''Publisher''': Well, we read it and we don't like it...
:'''Hitler''': ''[dejected]'' Oh.
:'''Publisher''': We love it!
:''[They both laugh]''
:'''Hitler''': You got me! I could have killed you, Mr. Weinberg!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The executives want to cast [[James Woods]] in Brian's pilot]''
:'''Brian''': James Woods is insane. And on top of that, he's, like, 60. The character of Byron is 25 years old
:'''Female Executive''': I know, I know. But what if he wasn't?
:'''Brian''': What? But he is.
:'''Female Executive''': ...n't.
:'''Brian''': My God, this is a nightmare. I thought you said you weren't gonna mess with my show.
:'''Todd''': It's a small change, Brian. You won't even notice it.
:'''James''': You guys aren't gonna fucking believe this. Call a tow truck. I just banged into some homo's Prius.

===''[[w:April in Quahog|April in Quahog]]''===

:'''Peter''': So you gonna introduce me to your little friends?
:'''Stewie''': That’s Trap-Jaw, that’s Optimus Prime, that’s Destro, and that’s a Care Bear.
:'''Peter''': You having a tea party?
:'''Stewie''': No, we’re working out a land deal. Trap-Jaw is trying to get a variance to build an unpermitted structure within 10 feet of Optimus Prime’s property line.  Destro’s the city councilman who’s telling Trap-Jaw that he has to file it as an accessory structure and even then it can only be built at the rear of the lot. And the Care Bear is just a Care Bear.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[the day after Peter, while on Crystal meth, jumps through Stewie's ceiling]''
:'''Stewie:''' When you jumped through my ceiling, you let an owl in. I know they're supposed to be wise, but all it did was shriek and throw-up half-digested mice.

===''[[w:Brian &amp; Stewie|Brian &amp; Stewie]]''===
:'''Brian''': You've had energy bars this whole time? You idiot!
:'''Stewie''': Not energy bars. Jenny Craig Anytime Bars. And you bitched yourself out a bite.
:'''Brian''': All right, I'm sorry, all right? Can I have one, please? 
:'''Stewie''': All right.
:'''Brian''': Can you give me a caramel one? 
:'''Stewie''': No. You can have, um, um, you can have, um - You can have strawberry yogurt.
:'''Brian''': I don't like strawberry yogurt.
:'''Stewie''': Picky for someone who eats the same food out of a bowl on the floor every night.
:'''Brian''': Okay, I get it.
:'''Stewie''': A bowl that starts in the kitchen and ends up in the living room.
:'''Brian''': Shut up.
:'''Stewie''': Forgets four seconds later that he ate it.
:'''Brian''': Shut up!
:'''Stewie''': Ooh, harsh tone. You just got bumped down to coconut mint.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stewie''': Wanting to kill yourself... Well, I think that's pretty selfish of you.
:'''Brian''': How is that selfish? 
:'''Stewie''': What would I do if you weren't here? Hmm? You're the only one who makes my life bearable.
:'''Brian''': I thought you said I was the best of a bad situation.
:'''Stewie''': I was just trying to hurt you because you hurt me. But the truth is you're my only friend, Brian. lf I didn't have you, I'd be lost.
:'''Brian''': Ah, you'd be okay.
:'''Stewie''': No, I wouldn't. I don't really care for anybody else. Just you. You're the only one I like.
:'''Brian''': Well, thanks.
:'''Stewie''': ''[uncomfortable]'' I like you a lot. I guess you could say I really like you. I would even dare to go a little further, perhaps. I care a great deal about you. A very great deal. Maybe even deeper than that. ''[mumbling]'' I... I love you. I mean, you know, not in like a, &quot;Hey, let's have an underpants party,&quot; or whatever grown-ups do when they're in love. I mean, I love you as one loves another person whom one simply cannot do without.
:'''Brian''': Well, I I love you too, Stewie.
:'''Stewie''': You give my life purpose. And maybe that's enough. Because that's just about the greatest gift one friend can give another.
:'''Brian''': Thank you.
:'''Stewie''': Hey.
:'''Brian''': What? 
:'''Stewie''': Will you read to me? 
:'''Brian''': Sure.

===''[[w:Quagmire's Dad|Quagmire's Dad]]''===
:''[after Brian realizes that the woman he had sex with was Quagmire's father, he throws up for a long time, then screams]''
:'''Stewie''': What?! What the hell?! What's wrong with you?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER!
:'''Stewie''': What?!
:'''Brian''': I HAD SEX WITH HER AT THE MARRIOT!!
:'''Stewie''': ''[screams]'' Why?!
:'''Brian''': I didn't know! I didn't know it was her!
:'''Stewie''': OH, MY GOD!
:''[both scream]''
:'''Brian''': HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?! WHEN THEY MOVE TO A NEW PLACE, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO NOTIFY THE NEIGHBORHOOD! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!
:'''Stewie''': He didn't move! He's just visiting!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Brian shudders after his &quot;accident&quot; in the shower and tensely scrubs his fur coat with a sponge. He turns off the shower and puts a towel around his waist. He steps out and then looks at the mirror. Then he hears a bang]''
:'''Quagmire''': ''[offscreen]'' Where is he?! Where is that self-centered, arrogant son of a bitch?! ''[Brian quickly runs to the master bedroom. He gets under the bed until...]'' Get out of there, you dirty little bastard, you're dead! ''[drags him out then punches and kicks Brian repeatedly through the house]'' If I ever see you anywhere near my house, I'll blow your head off! Now lay there and die, you piece of crap! ''[Quagmire exits]''

:''[after beating Brian up, Quagmire exits the house, closes the door, and starts to walk away, but Brian, now bloodied and bruised, but still able to move, lividly opens the door]''
:'''Brian''': Hey! ''[Quagmire turns around]'' I fucked your dad!
:''[he slams the door]''

===''[[w:The Splendid Source|The Splendid Source]]''===

:''[two men in a car shoot Peter's back window]''
:'''Quagmire''': What the hell was that about, who were those guys!?
:'''Joe''': I don't know but I'll tell you this, I saw one of them back at the bar in Stoolbend.
:'''Peter''': You think they were following us?
:'''Joe''': Either that or they got a grudge against our back windshield.
:'''Quagmire''': Aw, Joe, that's so dumb.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Peter''': Hey, you know, Cleveland, you better hide the markers from your kids. Somebody colored in your Jesus.
:'''Rallo''': Somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat ass.

===''[[w:Something, Something, Something, Dark Side|Something, Something, Something, Dark Side]]''===
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking... nerfherder!
:''[Han (Peter) punches her in the face]''
:'''Han''': You can't use that word! Only ''we'' can use that word!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown into an asteroid field]''
:'''Leia''': We're gonna get pulverized out here!
:'''Han''': Look, we've got four or five of the main characters on this ship, I think we'll be fine! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The ''Milennium Falcon'' has just flown out of the worm (Meg) in the asteroid]''
:'''Worm''': How come I never get any lines in these things?
:''[Han (Peter) flies the ship back to the worm]''
:'''Han''': Shut up, Meg.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[as Han is about to be frozen in carbonite]''
:'''Leia''': I love you.
:'''Han''': Fuck off.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Darth Vader (Stewie)''': C'mon Luke, join the dark side. It's really cool.
:'''Luke (Chris):''': Well, who's in it?
:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Uh, there's me, the Emperor, this guy Scott. You'll meet him, he's awesome. Oh, and James Caan.
:'''Caan''': I'll be your friend if you let me kick your ass.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Slave 1 flees Cloud City and blasts away with Han.]''
:'''Leia (Lois)''': Oh no! We've lost Han! They've taken him to Jabba's palace!
:'''C-3P0 (Quagmire)''': Well, even though we know exactly where he is, we should rescue him in three years.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lando (Mort)''': Don't worry. We'll find Jabba the Hutt and that bounty hunter and we'll get Han back.
:'''Chewbacca (Brian)''': Why are you wearing Han's clothes? ''[to the home audience]'' Seriously, watch the actual movie. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in this scene. It's really weird.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Vader (Stewie)''': Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Y'know? I mean it doesn't have to be as father and son, it can be just as, a-y'know- as two really close guys who just happen to be men y'know, just, two good-lookin' guys sharin' a cramped office runnin' the galaxy together &amp;mdash; y'know just, gettin' the job done y'know &amp;mdash; maybe we, maybe we do it occasionally, but it's not weird, y'know, cause we're just, two guys with ragin' goals, y'know? I mean it's not even about the doin' it part &amp;mdash; but thats a part of it &amp;mdash; but it's not- it's not the whole thing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[after Darth Vader has cut off Luke's right hand, Leia is about rescue him]''
:'''Leia (Lois):''' ''[through the ships loud-speakers]'' Luke, if that's you, wave your right hand! ''[beat]'' I said wave your ''right'' hand! ''[beat] Your right hand!''
:'''Luke (Chris):''' ''[off-screen]'' It's me, you fuckers!

===''[[w:Partial Terms of Endearment|Partial Terms of Endearment]]''===

:'''Lois''': Peter, this is Naomi.
:'''Peter''': Wait? You mean you too used to, you know, bump Japanese cartoon monkey logo mouths?
:'''Lois''': Well, let's just say Naomi and I experimented quite a bit in college.
:'''Peter''': No way! My wife messed around with another chick! Thank you, God!
:''[cut to God sitting on cloud looking down]''
:'''God''': Don't mention it, Peter.
:'''Chorus''': ''[sing]'' God! He knows what turns you on!
:'''God''': ''[to the home audience]'' Have fun!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[at the end of the episode]''
:'''Lois''': Well, I think we made the right decision. I mean, sure. Havin' a baby costs a fortune. There's cutbacks on things we love. There's diapers and cryin' and late nights with no sleep. Flu shots and mumps and driver's ed and college tuition. But you know what? It's one more person to share the world with. Another little voice in the back seat of the car. One more Griffin to love and to love us in return.
:''[after a few seconds of silence, Peter turns to the camera]''
:'''Peter''': ''[to the home audience]'' We had the abortion.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|Family Guy}}

::'' ''Family Guy'' and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the'' Wikimedia Foundation ''DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

[[Category:Family Guy seasons]]

[[ru:Гриффины/Восьмой сезон]]</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>List of people by name, M</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>112939</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154823</id>
      <parentid>3143286</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:41:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mer–MF */  *[[Gerardus Mercator|Mercator, Gerardus]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="39907" xml:space="preserve">'''Subset of [[List of people by name]]'''
{{People by name}}

== M ==
=== Maa–Mac ===

*[[Robert Murray M'Cheyne|M'Cheyne, Robert Murray]]
*[[Ma Anliang]]
*[[Ma Bufang]]
*[[Ma Fuxiang]]
*[[Ma Fuyuan]]
*[[Ma Ho-ling]]
*[[Ma Hongkui]]
*[[Ma Shaowu]]
*[[Ma Ying-jeou]]
*[[Ma Zhanshan]]
*[[Ma Zhongying]]
*[[Jack Ma|Ma, Jack]]
*[[Sri Anandamoyi Ma|Ma, Sri Anandamoyi]]
*[[Wangari Maathai|Maathai, Wangari]]
*[[Lorin Maazel|Maazel, Lorin]]
*[[Moms Mabley|Mabley, Moms]]
*[[Diosdado Macapagal|Macapagal, Diosdado]]
*[[Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo|Macapagal-Arroyo, Gloria]]
*[[Douglas MacArthur|MacArthur, Douglas]]
*[[John F. MacArthur|MacArthur, John Fullerton, Jr.]]
*[[George Macartney|Macartney, George]]
*[[Rose Macaulay|Macaulay, Rose]]
*[[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Macaulay, Thomas Babington]]
*[[Paul MacCready|MacCready, Paul]]
*[[Hugh MacDiarmid|MacDiarmid, Hugh]]
*[[Dwight Macdonald|Macdonald, Dwight]]
*[[George MacDonald|MacDonald, George]]
*[[James MacDonald|MacDonald, James]]
*[[John A. Macdonald|Macdonald, John A.]]
*[[John D. MacDonald|MacDonald, John D.]]
*[[Norm Macdonald|Macdonald, Norm]]
*[[Ramsay MacDonald|MacDonald, Ramsay]]
*[[Ross Macdonald|Macdonald, Ross]]
*[[Stanton Macdonald-Wright|Macdonald-Wright, Stanton]]
*[[Patrick MacDonogh|MacDonogh, Patrick]]
*[[John Rose Macduff|Macduff, John Rose]]
*[[James Mace|Mace, James]]
*[[Alan MacEachren|MacEachren, Alan]]
*[[Grant MacEwan|MacEwan, Grant]]
*[[Seth MacFarlane|MacFarlane, Seth]]
*[[Joanna MacGregor|MacGregor, Joanna]]
*[[Robert Roy MacGregor|MacGregor, Robert Roy]]
*[[Ernst Mach|Mach, Ernst]]
*[[Antonio Machado|Machado, Antonio]]
*[[Carmen Maria Machado|Machado, Carmen Maria]]
*[[Eduardo Machado|Machado, Eduardo]]
*[[Guillaume de Machaut|Machaut, Guillaume de]]
*[[François-Bernard Mâche|Mâche, François-Bernard]]
*[[Arthur Machen|Machen, Arthur]]
*[[Niccolò Machiavelli|Machiavelli, Niccolò]]
*[[Alasdair MacIntyre|MacIntyre, Alasdair]]
*[[George Maciunas|Maciunas, George]]
*[[John E. Mack|Mack, John E.]]
*[[Charles Mackay|Mackay, Charles]]
*[[William Paton Mackay|Mackay, William Paton]]
*[[Ian MacKaye|MacKaye, Ian]]
*[[August Macke|Macke, August]]
*[[Alexander Mackenzie|Mackenzie, Alexander]]
*[[Albert Mackey|Mackey, Albert]]
*[[Nathaniel Mackey|Mackey, Nathaniel]]
*[[Catharine MacKinnon|MacKinnon, Catharine]]
*[[Charles Rennie Mackintosh|Mackintosh, Charles Rennie]]
*[[James Mackintosh|Mackintosh, James]]
*[[George Mackley|Mackley, George]]
*[[Charles Macklin|Macklin Charles]]
*[[Shirley MacLaine|MacLaine, Shirley]]
*[[Alexander Maclaren|Maclaren, Alexander]]
*[[Norman Maclean|Maclean, Norman]]
*[[Archibald MacLeish|MacLeish, Archibald]]
*[[Ian Maclaren|Maclaren, Ian]]
* [[Sorley MacLean|MacLean, Sorley]]
*MacLeod, Fiona ''see'' [[William Sharp (writer)‎|William Sharp]]
*[[Ken MacLeod|MacLeod, Ken]]
*[[Norman MacLeod (1812–1872)|MacLeod, Norman]] (1812–1872)
*[[Harold Macmillan|Macmillan, Harold]]
*[[Margaret MacMillan|MacMillan, Margaret]]
*[[Edward Macnaghten, Baron Macnaghten|Macnaghten, Edward, Baron Macnaghten]]
*[[Louis MacNeice|MacNeice, Louis]]
*[[Jeff MacNelly|MacNelly, Jeff]]
*[[James Macpherson|Macpherson, James]]
*[[Ambrosius Theodosius Macrobius|Macrobius, Ambrosius Theodosius]]

===Mad–Mam===
*[[Samuel Madden|Madden, Samuel]]
*[[Rachel Maddow|Maddow, Rachel]]
*[[John Maddox|Maddox, John]]
*[[Maddox]]
*[[Princess Madeleine, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland|Madeleine, Princess, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland]]
*[[R. Madhavan|Madhavan, R.]]
*[[James Madison|Madison, James]]
*Madonna see [[Madonna (entertainer)|Ciccone, Madonna]]
*[[Joni Madraiwiwi|Madraiwiwi, Ratu Joni]]
*[[Michael Madsen|Madsen, Michael]]
*[[Maurice Maeterlinck|Maeterlinck, Maurice]]
*[[Mary Magdalene|Magdalene, Mary]]
*[[Bryan Magee|Magee, Bryan]]
*[[Jimmy Magee|Magee, Jimmy]]
*[[Ferdinand Magellan|Magellan, Ferdinand]]
*[[Albertus Magnus|Magnus, Albertus]]
*[[Elias Lyman Magoon|Magoo, Elias Lyman]]
*[[João Magueijo|Magueijo, João]]
*[[John Pentland Mahaffy|Mahaffy, John Pentland]]
*[[Chaitanya Mahaprabhu|Mahaprabhu, Chaitanya]]
*[[Acharya Mahapragya|Mahapragya, Acharya]]
*[[Birju Maharaj|Maharaj, Birju]]
*[[Hans Ji Maharaj|Maharaj, Hans Ji]]
*[[Jagadguru Kripaluji Maharaj|Maharaj, Jagadguru Kripaluji]]
*[[Mac Maharaj|Maharaj, Mac]]
*[[Nisargadatta Maharaj|Maharaj, Nisargadatta]]
*[[Prem Rawat|Maharaji (Prem Rawat)]]
*[[Ramana Maharshi|Maharshi, Ramana]]
*[[Mahavira]]
*[[Bill Maher|Maher, Bill]]
*[[Naguib Mahfouz|Mahfouz, Naguib]]
*[[Gustav Mahler|Mahler, Gustav]]
*[[Ismail Mahomed|Mahomed, Ismail]]
*[[Derek Mahon|Mahon, Derek]]
*[[Norman Mailer|Mailer, Norman]]
*[[Terese Marie Mailhot|Mailhot, Terese Marie]]
*[[Maimonides]]
*[[Eddie Mair|Mair, Eddie]]
*[[Victor H. Mair|Mair, Victor H.]]
*[[Eric Maisel|Maisel, Eric]]
*[[Lothar de Maizière|Maizière, Lothar de]]
*[[Andrzej Majewski|Majewski, Andrzej]]
*[[John Major|Major, John]]
*[[Jonathan Majors|Majors, Jonathan]]
*[[Miriam Makeba|Makeba, Miriam]]
*[[Marjo-Riikka Makela|Makela, Marjo-Riikka]]
*[[Sanjaya Malakar|Malakar, Sanjaya]]
*[[Bernard Malamud|Malamud, Bernard]]
*[[Errico Malatesta|Malatesta, Errico]]
*[[Malcolm X]]
*[[Norman Malcolm|Malcolm, Norman]]
*[[Rob Malda|Malda, Rob]] &quot;CmdrTaco&quot;
*[[Nicolas Malebranche|Malebranche, Nicolas]]
*[[Marcin Malek|Malek, Marcin]]
*[[Rosie Malek-Yonan|Malek-Yonan, Rosie]]
*[[Kazimir Malevich|Malevich, Kazimir]]
*[[Rajiv Malhotra|Malhotra, Rajiv]]
*[[Nouri Maliki|Maliki, Nouri]]
*[[Hema Malini|Malini, Hema]]
*[[Rodion Malinovsky|Malinovsky, Rodion]]
*[[Amulya Malladi|Malladi, Amulya]]
*[[Stéphane Mallarmé|Mallarmé, Stéphane]]
*[[Alfred (opera)|Mallet, David]] (or David Malloch)
*[[Ted Malloch|Malloch, Ted]]
*[[George Mallory|Mallory, George]]
*[[Mike Malloy|Malloy, Mike]]
*[[William of Malmesbury|Malmesbury, William of]]
*[[Cecilia Malmström|Malmström, Cecilia]]
*[[Michael Malone|Malone, Michael]]
*[[Thomas Malory|Malory, Thomas]]
*[[André Malraux|Malraux, André]]
*[[Thomas Malthus|Malthus, Thomas]]
*[[Maxwell Maltz|Maltz, Maxwell]]
*[[Barry Malzberg|Malzberg, Barry]]
*[[David Mamet|Mamet, David]]

===Man–Map===
*[[William Manchester|Manchester, William]]
*[[Stormont Mancroft, 2nd Baron Mancroft|Mancroft, 2nd Baron Mancroft]]
*[[Ernest Mandel|Mandel, Ernest]]
*[[Leonard Mandel|Mandel, Leonard]]
*[[Nelson Mandela|Mandela, Nelson]]
*[[Benoît Mandelbrot|Mandelbrot, Benoît]]
*[[Peter Mandelson|Mandelson, Peter]]
*[[Osip Mandelstam|Mandelstam, Osip]]
*[[Bernard Mandeville|Mandeville, Bernard]]
*[[John Mandeville|Mandeville, John]]
*[[Og Mandino|Mandino, Og]]
*[[Hira Ratan Manek|Manek, Hira Ratan]]
*[[Sam Manekshaw|Manekshaw, Sam]]
*[[Édouard Manet|Manet, Édouard]]
*[[Stephen Mangan|Mangan, Stephen]]
*[[Roger Manganelli|Manganelli, Roger]]
*[[Lata Mangeshkar|Mangeshkar, Lata]]
*[[Alberto Manguel|Manguel, Alberto]]
*[[Marcus Manilius|Manilius, Marcus]]
*[[Yuri I. Manin|Manin, Yuri I.]]
*[[Irshad Manji|Manji, Irshad]]
*[[Herman J. Mankiewicz|Mankiewicz, Herman J.]]
*[[Joseph L. Mankiewicz|Mankiewicz, Joseph L.]]
*[[Greg Mankiw|Mankiw, Greg]]
*[[Basil Manly Jr.|Manly, Basil Jr.]]
*[[John H. Manley|Manley, John H.]]
*[[Aimee Mann|Mann, Aimee]]
*[[Golo Mann|Mann, Golo]]
*[[Horace Mann|Mann, Horace]]
*[[Manfred Mann|Mann, Manfred]]
*[[Merlin Mann|Mann, Merlin]]
*[[Thomas Mann|Mann, Thomas]]
*[[Edwin Manners|Manners, Edwin]]
*[[John Manners, 7th Duke of Rutland|Manners, John, 7th Duke of Rutland]]
*[[Karl Mannheim|Mannheim, Karl]]
*[[Chelsea Manning|Manning, Chelsea]]
*[[Eli Manning|Manning, Eli]]
*[[Ernest Manning|Manning, Ernest]]
*[[Henry Edward Manning|Manning, Henry Edward]]
*[[Peyton Manning|Manning, Peyton]]
*[[Preston Manning|Manning, Preston]]
*[[Taryn Manning|Manning, Taryn]]
*[[Daniel P. Mannix|Mannix, Daniel P.]]
*[[Robert Mannyng|Mannyng, Robert]]
*[[Harvey Mansfield|Mansfield, Harvey]]
*[[Jayne Mansfield|Mansfield, Jayne]]
*[[Katherine Mansfield|Mansfield, Katherine]]
*[[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Mansfield, William Murray, 1st Earl of]]
*[[Charles Manson|Manson, Charles]]
*[[James Bolivar Manson|Manson, James Bolivar]]
*[[Marilyn Manson|Manson, Marilyn]]
*[[Shirley Manson|Manson, Shirley]]
*[[Hamza Mansoor|Mansoor, Hamza]]
*[[Erich von Manstein|Manstein, Erich von]]
*[[Guido Mantega|Mantega, Guido]]
*[[Gideon Mantell|Mantell, Gideon]]
*[[Aram Manukian|Manukian, Aram]]
*[[Alessandro Manzoni|Manzoni, Alessandro]]
*[[Sally Wen Mao|Mao, Sally Wen]]
*[[Mao Zedong]]
*[[Jack Mapanje|Mapanje, Jack]]
*[[Sarah Maple|Maple, Sarah]]

===Mar===
*[[Kate Mara|Mara, Kate]]
*[[Kamisese Mara|Mara, Ratu Sir Kamisese]]
*[[Steve Maraboli|Maraboli, Steve]]
*[[Diego Maradona|Maradona, Diego]]
*[[Joan Maragall|Maragall, Joan]]
*[[Josie Maran|Maran, Josie]]
*[[Jean-Paul Marat|Marat, Jean-Paul]]
*[[Patrick Marber|Marber, Patrick]]
*[[Marcel Marceau|Marceau, Marcel]]
*[[Gabriel Marcel|Marcel, Gabriel]]
*[[James G. March|March, James G.]]
*[[William March|March, William]]
*[[Rocky Marciano|Marciano, Rocky]]
*[[Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz|Marcinkiewicz, Kazimierz]]
*[[Guglielmo Marconi|Marconi, Guglielmo]]
*[[Ferdinand Marcos|Marcos, Ferdinand Edralin]]
*[[Imelda Marcos|Marcos, Imelda]]
*[[Subcomandante Marcos|Marcos, Subcomandante]]
*[[Marcus Aurelius]]
*[[Greil Marcus|Marcus, Greil]]
*[[Herbert Marcuse|Marcuse, Herbert]]
*[[Kenneth Marende|Marende, Kenneth]]
*[[Jess Margera|Margera, Jess]]
*[[Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon|Margaret, Princess, Countess of Snowdon]]
*[[Margrethe II of Denmark]]
*[[Anne-Thérèse de Marguenat de Courcelles, marquise de Lambert|Marguenat de Courcelles, Anne-Thérèse de, marquise de Lambert]]
*[[Lynn Margulis|Margulis, Lynn]]
*[[Ubaldo Mari|Mari, Ubaldo]]
*[[Mengistu Haile Mariam|Mariam, Mengistu Haile]]
*[[Marie Antoinette]]
*[[Constance Marie|Marie, Constance]]
*[[Marie de France]]
*[[Marie of Edinburgh, Queen of Romania]]
*[[Cheech Marin|Marin, Cheech]]
*[[Luis Muñoz Marín|Marín, Luis Muñoz]]
*[[Filippo Tommaso Marinetti|Marinetti, Filippo Tommaso]]
*[[Jacques Maritain|Maritain, Jacques]]
*[[Edwin Markham|Markham, Edwin]]
*[[Mirjana Markovic|Markovic, Mirjana]]
*[[Vladimir Markovnikov|Markovnikov, Vladimir]]
*[[Harry Markowitz|Markowitz, Harry]]
*[[Robert J. Marks II|Marks, Robert J., II]]
*[[Karl Marlantes|Marlantes, Karl]]
*[[Bob Marley|Marley, Bob]]
*[[Randal Marlin|Marlin, Randal]]
*[[Christopher Marlowe|Marlowe, Christopher]]
*[[Michael Marmot|Marmot, Michael]]
*[[Marc Maron|Maron, Marc]]
*[[Martin Marprelate|Marprelate, Martin]]
*[[Rocky Marquette|Marquette, Rocky]]
*[[Rafael Márquez (boxer)|Márquez, Rafael]]
*[[Don Marquis|Marquis, Don]]
*[[Andrew Marr|Marr, Andrew]]
*[[David Marr|Marr, David]]
*[[Johnny Marr|Marr, Johnny]]
*[[Texe Marrs|Marrs, Texe]]
*[[Wynton Marsalis|Marsalis, Wynton]]
*[[Brian G. Marsden|Marsden, Brian G.]]
*[[Rachel Marsden|Marsden, Rachel]]
*[[Dave Marsh|Marsh, Dave]]
*[[Jodie Marsh|Marsh, Jodie]]
*[[Alfred Marshall|Marshall, Alfred]]
*[[George Marshall|Marshall, George]]
*[[John Marshall|Marshall, John]]
*[[Josh Marshall|Marshall, Joshua Micah]]
*[[S.L.A. Marshall|Marshall, S.L.A.]]
*[[Thomas R. Marshall|Marshall, Thomas R.]]
*[[James Marsters|Marsters, James]]
*[[John Marston|Marston, John]]
*[[Yann Martel|Martel, Yann]]
*[[José Martí|Martí, José]]
*[[Martial]]
*[[Billy Martin|Martin, Billy]]
*[[Chris Martin|Martin, Chris]]
*[[Dean Martin|Martin, Dean]]
*[[Eugene J. Martin|Martin, Eugene J.]]
*[[George R. R. Martin|Martin, George R. R.]]
*[[John Martin (Young Irelander)|Martin, John]] (Young Irelander)
*[[John H. Martin|Martin, John]]
*[[Judith Martin|Martin, Judith]] &quot;Miss Manners&quot;
*[[Mary Martin|Martin, Mary]]
*[[Paul Martin|Martin, Paul]]
*[[Ricky Martin|Martin, Ricky]]
*[[Steve Martin|Martin, Steve]]
*[[Tony Martin (comedian)|Martin, Tony]] (comedian)
*[[Arkady Martine|Martine, Arkady]]
*[[Harriet Martineau|Martineau, Harriet]]
*[[James Martineau|Martineau, James]]
*[[Alessandra Martines|Martines, Alessandra]]
*[[Elizabeth Martinez|Martinez, Elizabeth]]
*[[Obafemi Martins|Martins, Obafemi]]
*[[Justin Martyr|Martyr, Justin]]
*[[Andrew Marvell|Marvell, Andrew]]
*[[Groucho Marx|Marx, Groucho]]
*[[Harpo Marx|Marx, Harpo]]
*[[Karl Marx|Marx, Karl]]
*[[Mary (mother of Jesus)]]
*[[Mary, Crown Princess of Denmark]]
*[[Mary I of England]]
*[[Mary, Queen of Scots|Mary I of Scotland]] (a.k.a. Mary, Queen of Scots)
*[[Brownie Mary|Mary, Brownie]]
*[[Theo Marzials|Marzials, Theo]]

===Mas–Maz===
*[[John Masefield|Masefield, John]]
*[[Khaled Mashal|Mashal, Khaled]]
*[[Eric Maskin|Maskin, Eric]]
*[[Abraham Maslow|Maslow, Abraham]]
*[[Andrew Mason|Mason, Andrew]]
*[[Basil John Mason|Mason, Basil John]]
*[[George Mason|Mason, George]]
*[[Jackie Mason|Mason, Jackie]]
*[[John M. Mason|Mason, John M.]]
*[[William Mason (poet)|Mason, William]]
*[[Emilio Massera|Massera, Emilio]]
*[[Gerald Massey|Massey, Gerald]]
*[[Vincent Massey|Massey, Vincent]]
*[[Jean Baptiste Massillon|Massillon, Jean Baptiste]]
*[[Philip Massinger|Massinger, Philip]]
*[[Joseph Massad|Massad, Joseph]]
*[[Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson|Masson, Jeffrey Moussaieff]]
*[[Ahmad Shah Massoud|Massoud, Ahmad Shah]]
*[[John Masterman|Masterman, John]]
*[[Edgar Lee Masters|Masters, Edgar Lee]]
*[[Marcello Mastroianni|Mastroianni, Marcello]]
*[[Petero Mataca|Mataca, Petero]]
*[[Mary Matalin|Matalin, Mary]]
*[[Hisham Matar|Matar, Hisham]]
*[[Cotton Mather|Mather, Cotton]]
*[[Increase Mather|Mather, Increase]]
*[[Richard Matheson|Matheson, Richard]]
*[[Henri Matisse|Matisse, Henri]]
*[[Iwane Matsui|Matsui, Iwane]]
*[[Yukihiro Matsumoto|Matsumoto, Yukihiro]]
*[[Patrick Matthew|Matthew, Patrick]]
*[[Brian Matthews|Matthews, Brian]]
*[[Chris Matthews|Matthews, Chris]]
*[[Dave Matthews|Matthews, Dave]]
*[[Paul Taunton Matthews|Matthews, Paul Taunton]]
*[[Stanley Matthews|Matthews, Stanley]]
*[[James Mattis|Mattis, James]]
*[[Humberto Maturana|Maturana, Humberto]]
*[[Charles Maturin|Maturin, Charles]]
*[[Bruce Mau|Mau, Bruce]]
*[[Reginald Maudling|Maudling, Reginald]]
*[[Abul Ala Maududi|Maududi, Abul Ala]]
*[[W. Somerset Maugham|Maugham, William Somerset]]
*[[Bill Mauldin|Mauldin, Bill]]
*[[William Henry Maule|Maule, William Henry]]
*[[Edward Walter Maunder|Maunder, Edward Walter]]
*[[Guy de Maupassant|Maupassant, Guy de]]
*[[Pierre Louis Maupertuis|Maupertuis, Pierre Louis]]
*[[François Mauriac|Mauriac, François]]
*[[Frederick B. Maurice|Maurice, Frederick B.]]
*[[Julianna Rose Mauriello|Mauriello, Julianna Rose]]
*[[Daphne du Maurier|Maurier, Daphne du]]
*[[George du Maurier|Maurier, George du]]
*[[André Maurois|Maurois, André]]
*[[Fritz Mauthner|Mauthner, Fritz]]
*[[Douglas Mawson|Mawson, Douglas]]
*[[James Max|Max, James]]
*[[Tucker Max|Max, Tucker]]
*[[James Clerk Maxwell|Maxwell, James Clerk]]
*[[Neal A. Maxwell|Maxwell, Neal A.]]
*[[Willie Maxwell (rapper)|Maxwell, Willie]] (rapper), goes by the name [[Fetty Wap]]
*[[Elizabeth May|May, Elizabeth]]
*[[Julian May|May, Julian]]
*[[Rollo May|May, Rollo]]
*[[Vladimir Mayakovsky|Mayakovsky, Vladimir]]
*[[Rik Mayall|Mayall, Rik]]
*[[John Mayer|Mayer, John]]
*[[Julius Robert von Mayer|Mayer, Julius Robert von]]
*[[Louis B. Mayer|Mayer, Louis B.]]
*[[Marissa Mayer|Mayer, Marissa]]
*[[Oliver Mayer|Mayer, Oliver]]
*[[Curtis Mayfield|Mayfield, Curtis]]
*[[William Mayne|Mayne, William]]
*[[DeBarra Mayo|Mayo, DeBarra]]
*[[Isabella Fyvie Mayo|Mayo, Isabella Fyvie]]
*[[Ernst Mayr|Mayr, Ernst]]
*[[Willie Mays|Mays, Willie]]
*[[Floyd Mayweather, Jr.|Mayweather, Floyd, Jr.]]
*[[Giuseppe Mazzini|Mazzini, Giuseppe]]
*[[Barry Mazur|Mazur, Barry]]
*[[Eric Mazur|Mazur, Eric]]

===Mb–McF===
*[[Thabo Mbeki|Mbeki, Thabo]]
*[[Imbolo Mbue|Mbue, Imbolo]]
*[[Rachel McAdams|McAdams, Rachel]]
*[[John McAfee|McAfee, John]]
*[[Ward McAllister|McAllister, Ward]]
*[[Anthony McAuliffe|McAuliffe, Anthony]]
*[[Callan McAuliffe|McAuliffe, Callan]]
*[[Christa McAuliffe|McAuliffe, Christa]]
*[[Terry McAuliffe|McAuliffe, Terry]]
*[[James McBride (writer)|McBride, James (writer)]]
*[[Joseph McCabe|McCabe, Joseph]]
*[[Barry McCaffrey|McCaffrey, Barry Richard]]
*[[John McCain|McCain, John]]
*[[Meghan McCain|McCain, Meghan]]
*[[Daniel McCallum|McCallum, Daniel]]
*[[Robert McCammon|McCammon, Robert]]
*[[Christopher McCandless|McCandless, Christopher]]
*[[Colum McCann|McCann, Colum]]
*[[Cormac McCarthy|McCarthy, Cormac]]
*[[Eugene McCarthy|McCarthy, Eugene]]
*[[John McCarthy (computer scientist)|McCarthy, John]]
*[[Joseph McCarthy|McCarthy, Joseph]]
*[[Mary McCarthy|McCarthy, Mary]]
*[[Tom McCarthy (writer)|McCarthy, Tom]]
*[[Paul McCartney|McCartney, Paul]]
*[[Stella McCartney|McCartney, Stella]]
*[[Stanley A. McChrystal|McChrystal, Stanley A.]]
*[[Susan McClary|McClary, Susan]]
*[[Scott McClellan|McClellan, Scott]]
*[[Matthew McConaughey|McConaughey, Matthew]]
*[[Mitch McConnell|McConnell, Mitch]]
*[[David McCord|McCord, David]]
*[[Mike McCormack|McCormack, Mike]]
*[[James McCosh|McCosh, James]]
*[[Frank McCourt|McCourt, Frank]]
*[[Bert McCracken|McCracken, Bert]]
*[[John McCrae|McCrae, John]]
*[[Don McCullin|McCullin, Don]]
*[[Ian McCulloch|McCulloch, Ian]]
*[[Colleen McCullough|McCullough, Colleen]]
*[[Ed McCully|McCully, Ed]]
*[[Andy McDermott|McDermott, Andy]]
*[[Jack McDevitt|McDevitt, Jack]]
*[[Ian McDonald|McDonald, Ian]]
*[[Roy McDonald|McDonald, Roy]]
*[[Bob McDonnell|McDonnell, Bob]]
*[[William McDonough|McDonough, William]]
*[[William McDougall|McDougall, William]]
*[[Josh McDowell|McDowell, Josh]]
*[[John McEnroe|McEnroe, John]]
*[[Ian McEwan|McEwan, Ian]]
*[[Sallie McFague|McFague, Sallie]]
*[[William McFee|McFee, William]]

===McG–McV===
*[[Thomas D'Arcy McGee|McGee, Thomas D'Arcy]]
*[[Stacy McGaugh|McGaugh, Stacy]]
*[[Donald McGill|McGill, Donald]]
*[[William McGonagall|McGonagall, William]]
*[[Patrick McGoohan|McGoohan, Patrick]]
*[[Roger McGough|McGough, Roger]]
*[[George McGovern|McGovern, George]]
*[[Alister McGrath|McGrath, Alister]]
*[[John McGraw|McGraw, John]]
*[[Phil McGraw|McGraw, Dr. Phil]]
*[[Tim McGraw|McGraw, Tim]]
*[[Conor McGregor|McGregor, Conor Anthony]]
*[[Ewan McGregor|McGregor, Ewan]]
*[[Barry McGuigan|McGuigan, Barry]]
*[[Mark McHugh|McHugh, Mark]]
*[[Doug McIlroy|McIlroy, Doug]]
*[[Jay McInerney|McInerney, Jay]]
*[[Michael McIntyre|McIntyre, Michael]]
*[[Claude McKay|McKay, Claude]]
*[[David O. McKay|McKay, David O.]]
*[[John McKay|McKay, John]]
*[[Kip McKean|McKean, Kip]]
*[[William McKeen|McKeen, William]]
*[[Richard McKenna|McKenna, Richard]]
*[[Terence McKenna|McKenna, Terence]]
*[[Loreena McKennitt|McKennitt, Loreena]]
*[[Rod McKuen|McKuen, Rod]]
*[[Bill McKibben|McKibben, Bill]]
*[[Patricia A. McKillip|McKillip, Patricia A.]]
*[[William McKinley|McKinley, William]]
*[[Sarah McLachlan|McLachlan, Sarah]]
*[[John McLauglin|McLauglin, John]]
*[[Mignon McLaughlin|McLaughlin, Mignon]]
*[[Don McLean|McLean, Don]]
*[[Isaac McLellan|McLellan, Isaac]]
*[[John Cunningham McLennan|McLennan, John Cunningham]]
*McLeod, Fiona ''see'' [[William Sharp (writer)‎|William Sharp]]
*[[Ken McLeod|McLeod, Ken]]
*[[Marshall McLuhan|McLuhan, Marshall]]
*[[Steve McManaman|McManaman, Steve]]
*[[Joseph McManners|McManners, Joseph]]
*[[Terry McMillan|McMillan, Terry]]
*[[Edward McMillan-Scott|McMillan-Scott, Edward]]
*[[Evan McMullin|McMullin, David Evan]]
*[[Larry McMurtry|McMurtry, Larry]]
*[[David McNally (professor)|McNally, David]] (professor)
*[[Robert McNamara|McNamara, Robert]]
*[[Scott McNealy|McNealy, Scott]]
*[[Hector McNeil|McNeil, Hector]]
*[[Merrill McPeak|McPeak, Merrill Anthony &quot;Tony&quot;]] 
*[[John McPhee|McPhee, John]]
*[[James M. McPherson|McPherson, James M. &quot;Jim&quot;]]
*[[Linda McQuaig|McQuaig, Linda]]
*[[Alexander McQueen|McQueen, Alexander]]
*[[Timothy McVeigh|McVeigh, Timothy]]

===Mea–Men===
*[[Carver Mead|Mead, Carver]]
*[[Margaret Mead|Mead, Margaret]]
*[[Syd Mead|Mead, Syd]]
*[[George Meade|Meade, George]]
*[[James Meade|Meade, James]]
*[[Donella Meadows|Meadows, Donella]]
*[[Thomas Francis Meagher|Meagher, Thomas Francis]]
*[[William Hughes Mearns|Mearns, William Hughes]]
*[[John Mearsheimer|Mearsheimer, John J.]]
*[[Meat Loaf]]
*[[L. David Mech|Mech, L. David]]
*[[David Medalla|Medalla, David]]
*[[Peter Medawar|Medawar, Peter]]
*[[Hugo Medrano|Medrano, Hugo]]
*[[Michael Medved|Medved, Michael]]
*[[Dmitry Medvedev|Medvedev, Dmitry]]
*[[Arthur Mee|Mee, Arthur]]
*[[Michael Meegan|Meegan, Michael]]
*[[Travis Meeks|Meeks, Travis]]
*[[Edwin Meese|Meese, Edwin]]
*[[Suketu Mehta|Mehta, Suketu]]
*[[Zubin Mehta|Mehta, Zubin]]
*[[Sid Meier|Meier, Sid]]
*[[Klaus Meine|Meine, Klaus]]
*[[Ulrike Meinhof|Meinhof, Ulrike]]
*[[Golda Meir|Meir, Golda]]
*[[Philipp Melanchthon|Melanchthon, Philipp]]
*[[Jesús Papoleto Meléndez|Meléndez, Jesús Papoleto]]
*[[Monte Melkonian|Melkonian, Monte]]
*[[David Mellor|Mellor, David]]
*[[Alexander Melamid|Melamid, Alexander]]
*[[Colin Meloy|Meloy, Colin]]
*[[Albert Meltzer|Meltzer, Albert]]
*[[Katie Melua|Melua, Katie]]
*[[Henry Melvill|Melvill, Henry]]
*[[Herman Melville|Melville, Herman]]
*[[Bernard Membe|Membe, Bernard]]
*[[Albert Memmi|Memmi, Albert]]
*[[Menachem Mendel of Kotzk]]
*[[Menachem Mendel Schneerson]]
*[[Menander]]
*[[Mencius]]
*[[Gregor Mendel|Mendel, Gregor]]
*[[H. L. Mencken|Mencken, H. L.]]
*[[Dmitri Mendeleev|Mendeleev, Dmitri]]
*[[Felix Mendelssohn|Mendelssohn, Felix]]
*[[Moses Mendelssohn|Mendelssohn, Moses]]
*[[George E. Mendenhall|Mendenhall, George E.]]
*[[Aristides de Sousa Mendes|Mendes, Aristides de Sousa]]
*[[Eva Mendes|Mendes, Eva]]
*[[Pierre Mendès-France|Mendès-France, Pierre]]
*[[Carlos Menem|Menem, Carlos]]
*[[Jacques-Louis Ménétra|Ménétra, Jacques-Louis]]
*[[Josef Mengele|Mengele, Josef]]
*[[Carl Menger|Menger, Carl]]
*[[Maaza Mengiste|Mengiste, Maaza]]
*[[Alan Menken|Menken, Alan]]
*[[Adah Isaacs Menken|Menken, Adah Isaacs]]
*[[Pietro Mennea|Mennea, Pietro]]
*[[Mambillikalathil Govind Kumar Menon|Menon, Mambillikalathil Govind Kumar]]
*[[Richard Menta|Menta, Richard]]
*[[Doug Menuez|Menuez, Doug]]
*[[Yehudi Menuhin|Menuhin, Yehudi]]

===Mer–MF===
*[[Syesha Mercado|Mercado, Syesha]]
*[[Gerardus Mercator|Mercator, Gerardus]]
*[[Ilana Mercer|Mercer, Ilana]]
*[[Johnny Mercer|Mercer, Johnny]]
*[[Rick Mercer Report|Mercer, Rick]]
*[[Ismail Merchant|Merchant, Ismail]]
*[[Natalie Merchant|Merchant, Natalie]]
*[[Honoré Mercier|Mercier, Honoré]]
*[[Freddie Mercury|Mercury, Freddie]]
*[[George Meredith|Meredith, George]]
*[[Hans Merensky|Merensky, Hans]]
*[[Arnold Meri|Meri, Arnold]]
*[[Angela Merkel|Merkel, Angela]]
*[[Ralph Merkle|Merkle, Ralph]]
*[[Maurice Merleau-Ponty|Merleau-Ponty, Maurice]]
*[[Ethel Merman|Merman, Ethel]]
*[[David Mermin|Mermin, David]]
*[[James Merrick|Merrick, James]]
*[[Joseph Merrick|Merrick, Joseph]]
*[[Stuart Merrill|Merrill, Stuart]]
*[[Paul Merson|Merson, Paul]]
*[[Robert K. Merton|Merton, Robert K.]]
*[[Thomas Merton|Merton, Thomas]]
*[[Eric Mervyn Lindsay|Lindsay, Eric Mervyn]]
*[[Mario Merz|Merz, Mario]]
*[[Marisa Merz|Merz, Marisa]]
*[[Mohammad-Taqi Mesbah-Yazdi|Mesbah-Yazdi, Mohammad-Taqi]]
*[[Ali Meshkini|Meshkini, Ali]]
*[[Stjepan Mesić|Mesić, Stjepan]]
*[[Albert Messiah|Messiah, Albert]]
*[[Metastasio]]
*[[Pat Metheny|Metheny, Pat]]
*[[Nicholas Metropolis|Metropolis, Nicholas]]
*[[Ralf Metzenmacher|Metzenmacher, Ralf]]
*[[Frederick Brotherton Meyer|Meyer, Frederick Brotherton]]
*[[Hajo Meyer|Meyer, Hajo]]
*[[Leonard B. Meyer|Meyer, Leonard B.]]
*[[Stephenie Meyer|Meyer, Stephenie]]
*[[MF DOOM]]

===Mia–Mil===
*[[M.I.A.]]
*[[Shaun Micallef|Micallef, Shaun]]
*[[Michael (archangel)|Michael]] (archangel)
*[[Barry Michaels|Michaels, Barry]]
*[[Lorne Michaels|Michaels, Lorne]]
*[[Alyson Michalka|Michalka, Alyson]]
*[[Henri Michaux|Michaux, Henri]]
*[[Jean-Louis Michel (fencing)|Michel, Jean-Louis]]
*[[Michelangelo]] also ('''Michelangelo Buonarroti''')
*[[Albert Abraham Michelson|Michelson, Albert Abraham]]
*[[James A. Michener|Michener, James A.]]
*[[Adam Mickiewicz|Mickiewicz, Adam]]
*[[William Julius Mickle|Mickle, William Julius]]
*[[Gerald Midgley|Midgley, Gerald]]
*[[Mary Midgley|Midgley, Mary]]
*[[Richard Middleton|Middleton, Richard]]
*[[Thomas Middleton|Middleton, Thomas]]
*[[Bette Midler|Midler, Bette]]
*[[David Miedzianik|Miedzianik, David]]
*[[Ludwig Mies van der Rohe|Mies van der Rohe, Ludwig]]
*[[China Miéville|Miéville, China]]
*[[Kyuzo Mifune|Mifune, Kyuzo]]
*[[Mighty Sparrow]]
*[[Luis Miguel|Miguel, Luis]]
*[[Mihira Bhoja I]]
*[[George Mikes|Mikes, George]]
*[[Anastas Mikoyan|Mikoyan, Anastas]]
*[[Mike Milbury|Milbury, Mike]]
*[[Erhard Milch|Milch, Erhard]]
*[[Rudolf Mildner|Mildner, Rudolf]]
*[[Josephine Miles|Miles, Josephine]]
*[[Stanley Milgram|Milgram, Stanley]]
*[[Ed Miliband|Miliband, Ed]]
*[[Marko Miljanov|Miljanov, Marko]]
*[[Harvey Milk|Milk, Harvey]]
*[[James Mill|Mill, James]]
*[[John Stuart Mill|Mill, John Stuart]]
*[[Edna St. Vincent Millay|Millay, Edna St. Vincent]]
*[[Alex Miller (novelist)|Miller, Alex]]
*[[Alice Miller (psychologist)|Miller, Alice]]
*[[Arthur Miller|Miller, Arthur]]
*[[BJ Miller|Miller, BJ]]
*[[Bode Miller|Miller, Bode]]
*[[Dennis Miller|Miller, Dennis]]
*[[Don Miller (author)|Miller, Don]]
*[[Ezra Miller|Miller, Ezra]]
*[[Henry Miller|Miller, Henry]]
*[[J. Irwin Miller|Miller, J. Irwin]]
*[[Joaquin Miller|Miller, Joaquin]]
*[[Jonathan Miller|Miller, Jonathan]]
*[[Judith Miller (journalist)|Miller, Judith]] (journalist)
*[[Julius Sumner Miller|Miller, Julius Sumner]]
*[[Marisa Miller|Miller, Marisa]]
*[[Mark Crispin Miller|Miller, Mark Crispin]]
*[[Paul D. Miller (academic)|Miller, Paul D.]]
*[[Richard Miller|Miller, Richard]]
*[[Sienna Miller|Miller, Sienna]]
*[[Walter M. Miller, Jr.|Miller, Walter M. (Jr.)]]
*[[Wentworth Miller|Miller, Wentworth]]
*[[William Miller|Miller, William]]
*[[Zell Miller|Miller, Zell]]
*[[Frank Miller|Miller,Frank ]]
*[[Spike Milligan|Milligan, Spike]]
*[[Robert Andrews Millikan|Millikan, Robert Andrews]]
*[[C. Wright Mills|Mills, C. Wright]]
*[[Henry Hart Milman|Milman, Henry Hart]]
*[[A. A. Milne|Milne, A. A.]]
*[[Archibald Berkeley Milne|Milne, Archibald Berkeley]]
*[[Slobodan Milošević|Milošević, Slobodan]]
*[[Czesław Miłosz|Miłosz, Czesław]]
*[[John Milton|Milton, John]]

===Mim–Miz===
*[[Mimnermus]]
*[[Anchee Min|Min, Anchee]]
*[[Nicki Minaj|Minaj, Nicki]]
*[[Nick Minchin|Minchin, Nick]]
*[[Arnold Mindell|Mindell, Arnold]]
*[[Charles Miner|Miner, Charles]]
*[[Jay Miner|Miner, Jay]]
*[[Wang Ming|Ming, Wang]]
*[[Charles Mingus|Mingus, Charles]]
*[[Ho Chi Minh|Minh, Ho Chi]]
*[[Benoît Minisini|Minisini, Benoît]]
*[[Hermann Minkowski|Minkowski, Hermann]]
*[[Liza Minnelli|Minnelli, Liza]]
*[[Dannii Minogue|Minogue, Dannii]]
*[[Kenneth Minogue|Minogue, Kenneth]]
*[[Kylie Minogue|Minogue, Kylie]]
*[[Newton N. Minow|Minow, Newton N.]]
*[[Marvin Minsky|Minsky, Marvin]]
*[[Henry Mintzberg|Mintzberg, Henry]]
*[[Ross Mintzer|Mintzer, Ross]]
*[[Jean Miotte|Miotte, Jean]]
*[[Lin-Manuel Miranda|Miranda, Lin-Manuel]]
*[[Octave Mirbeau|Mirbeau, Octave]]
*[[Joan Miró|Miró, Joan]]
*[[Helen Mirren|Mirren, Helen]]
*[[Hope Mirrlees|Mirrlees, Hope]]
*[[Saeed Akhtar Mirza|Mirza, Saeed Akhtar]]
*[[David Miscavige|Miscavige, David]]
*[[Ludwig von Mises|Mises, Ludwig von]]
*[[Yukio Mishima|Mishima, Yukio]]
*[[Pankaj Mishra|Mishra, Pankaj]]
*[[Brian Mistler|Mistler, Brian J.]]
*[[Rohinton Mistry|Mistry, Rohinton]]
*[[John Mitchel|Mitchel, John]]
*[[Adrian Mitchell|Mitchell, Adrian]]
*[[Andrea Mitchell|Mitchell, Andrea]]
*[[Colin Campbell Mitchell|Mitchell, Colin Campbell]]
*[[David Mitchell (author)|Mitchell, David]]
*[[Donald Grant Mitchell|Mitchell, Donald Grant]]
*[[George J. Mitchell|Mitchell, George J.]]
*[[John N. Mitchell|Mitchell, John N.]]
*[[Joni Mitchell|Mitchell, Joni]]
*[[Julian Mitchell|Mitchell, Julian]]
*[[Maria Mitchell|Mitchell, Maria]]
*[[Martha Beall Mitchell|Mitchell, Martha Beall]]
*[[Silas Weir Mitchell|Mitchell, Silas Weir]]
*[[Stephen A. Mitchell (psychologist)|Mitchell, Stephen A.]] (psychologist)
*[[Robert Mitchum|Mitchum, Robert]]
*[[François Mitterrand|Mitterrand, François]]
*[[Mitski|Mitski]]
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto, Shigeru]]
*[[Hayao Miyazaki|Miyazaki, Hayao]]
*[[Addison Mizner|Mizner, Addison]]
*[[Wilson Mizner|Mizner, Wilson]]
*[[Namboku Mizuno|Mizuno, Namboku]]
*[[Vic Mizzy|Mizzy, Vic]]

===Mk–Mon===
*[[Benjamin Mkapa|Mkapa, Benjamin]]
*[[Ratko Mladić|Mladić, Ratko]]
*[[Nayla Moawad|Moawad, Nayla]]
*[[Moby]]
*[[Depeche Mode|Mode, Depeche]]
*[[Walter Model|Model, Walter]]
*[[Paula Modersohn-Becker|Modersohn-Becker, Paula]]
*[[Janet Mock|Mock, Janet]]
*[[Amedeo Modigliani|Modigliani, Amedeo]]
*[[J. R. Moehringer|Moehringer, J. R.]]
*[[Shaul Mofaz|Mofaz, Shaul]]
*[[John Moffat (physicist)|Moffat, John]] (physicist)
*[[Steven Moffat|Moffat, Steven]]
*[[Eben Moglen|Moglen, Eben]]
*[[Mahathir bin Mohamad|Mohamad, Mahathir bin]]
*[[Mostafa Mohammad-Najjar|Mohammad-Najjar, Mostafa]]
*[[Wilhelm Mohnke|Mohnke, Wilhelm]]
*[[László Moholy-Nagy|Moholy-Nagy, László]]
*[[Zuheir Mohsen|Mohsen, Zuheir]]
*[[Gholam Hossein Mohseni-Ejehei|Mohseni-Ejehei, Gholam Hossein]]
*[[David Macbeth Moir|Moir, David Macbeth]]
*[[Molière]]
*[[Gustave de Molinari|Molinari, Gustave de]]
*[[Bill Mollison|Mollison, Bill]]
*[[Ingo Molnar|Molnar, Ingo]]
*[[Marc Forné Molné|Molné, Marc Forné]]
*[[Vyacheslav Molotov|Molotov, Vyacheslav]]
*[[Helmuth von Moltke the Elder|Moltke, Helmuth von, the Elder]]
*[[Francesco Maria Molza|Molza, Francesco Maria]]
*[[Theodor Mommsen|Mommsen, Theodor]]
*[[Tevita Momoedonu|Momoedonu, Tevita]]
*[[George Monbiot|Monbiot, George]]
*[[George Monck|Monck, George]]
*[[Christopher Monckton|Monckton, Christopher]]
*[[Piet Mondrian|Mondrian, Piet]]
*[[Claude Monet|Monet, Claude]]
*[[John Money|Money, John]]
*[[Jane Monheit|Monheit, Jane]]
*[[Thelonious Monk|Monk, Thelonious]]
*[[Bob Monkhouse|Monkhouse, Bob]]
*[[Jean Monnet|Monnet, Jean]]
*[[Charles Monro|Monro, Charles]]
*[[Harold Monro|Monro, Harold]]
*[[James Monroe|Monroe, James]]
*[[Marilyn Monroe|Monroe, Marilyn]]
*[[Thomas S. Monson|Monson, Thomas S.]]
*[[Ashley Montagu|Montagu, Ashley]]
*[[Lady Mary Wortley Montagu|Montagu, Lady Mary Wortley]]
*[[Michel de Montaigne|Montaigne, Michel de]]
*[[Indro Montanelli|Montanelli, Indro]]
*[[Sophia Montecarlo|Montecarlo, Sophia]]
*[[Raimondo Montecuccoli|Montecuccoli, Raimondo]]
*[[Charles de Montesquieu|Montesquieu, Charles de]]
*[[Maria Montessori|Montessori, Maria]]
*[[Bernard Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein|Montgomery, Bernard, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein]]
*[[James Montgomery|Montgomery, James]]
*[[Jeffrey Montgomery|Montgomery, Jeffrey]]
*[[Richard Montgomery|Montgomery, Richard]]
*[[Robert Montgomery (poet)|Montgomery, Robert]]
*[[Andrés Montoya|Montoya, Andrés]]
*[[José Montoya|Montoya, José]]
*[[Malaquías Montoya|Montoya, Malaquías]]
*[[Richard Montoya|Montoya, Richard]]

===Moa–Mork===
*[[Azadeh Moaveni|Moaveni, Azadeh]]
*[[Susanna Moodie|Moodie, Susanna]]
*[[Ben Moody|Moody, Ben]]
*[[Dwight L. Moody|Moody, Dwight L.]]
*[[Raymond Moody|Moody, Raymond]]
*[[William Vaughn Moody|Moody, William Vaughn]]
*[[Zenas Ferry Moody|Moody, Zenas Ferry]]
*[[Calvin Mooers|Mooers, Calvin]]
*[[Robert Moog|Moog, Robert]]
*[[Syama Prasad Mookerjee|Mookerjee, Syama Prasad]]
*[[Sun Myung Moon|Moon, Sun Myung]]
*[[Michael Moorcock|Moorcock, Michael]]
*[[Alan Moore|Moore, Alan]]
*[[C. L. Moore|Moore, C. L.]]
*[[Charles H. Moore|Moore, Charles]]
*[[Christopher Moore (author)|Moore, Christopher]]
*[[Clement Clarke Moore|Moore, Clement Clarke]]
*[[Demi Moore|Moore, Demi]]
*[[Dudley Moore|Moore, Dudley]]
*[[Edward Moore|Moore, Edward]]
*[[George Edward Moore|Moore, George Edward]]
*[[George Moore (novelist)|Moore, George]]
*[[Gordon Moore|Moore, Gordon]]
*[[Henry Moore|Moore, Henry]]
*[[John Blair Moore|Moore, John Blair]]
*[[Marianne Moore|Moore, Marianne]]
*[[Michael Moore|Moore, Michael]]
*[[Patrick Moore|Moore, Patrick]]
*[[Terry Moore|Moore, Terry]]
*[[Thomas Sturge Moore|Moore, Thomas Sturge]]
*[[Thomas Moore|Moore, Thomas]]
*[[Tim Moore (writer)|Moore, Tim]]
*[[Bob Moorehead|Moorehead, Bob]]
*[[Geoffrey Moorhouse|Moorhouse, Geoffrey]]
*[[Lisa Moorish|Moorish, Lisa]]
*[[Charles A. Moose|Moose, Charles Alexander]]
*[[Cherríe Moraga|Moraga, Cherríe]]
*[[Esai Morales|Morales, Esai]]
*[[Evo Morales|Morales, Evo]]
*[[Dylan Moran|Moran, Dylan]]
*[[Alberto Moravia|Moravia, Alberto]]
*[[Hannah More|More, Hannah]]
*[[Thomas More|More, St. Thomas]]
*[[Gustave Moreau|Moreau, Gustave]]
*[[Theodor Morell|Morell, Theodor]]
*[[Tom Morello|Morello, Tom]]
*[[Belita Moreno|Moreno, Belita]]
*[[Rita Moreno|Moreno, Rita]]
*[[Silvia Moreno-Garcia|Moreno-Garcia, Silvia]]
*[[Augustus De Morgan|Morgan, Augustus De]]
*[[Daniel Morgan|Morgan, Daniel]]
*[[Frederick E. Morgan|Morgan, Frederick E.]]
*[[Gareth Morgan|Morgan, Gareth]]
*[[J. P. Morgan|Morgan, J. P.]]
*[[Rhodri Morgan|Morgan, Rhodri]]
*[[Richard Morgan|Morgan, Richard]]
*[[Robin Morgan|Morgan, Robin]]
*[[Lorin Morgan-Richards|Morgan-Richards, Lorin]]
*[[Sidney Morgenbesser|Morgenbesser, Sidney]]
*[[Christian Morgenstern|Morgenstern, Christian]]
*[[Oskar Morgenstern|Morgenstern, Oskar]]
*[[Hans Morgenthau|Morgenthau, Hans]]
*[[Henry Morgenthau, Sr.|Morgenthau, Henry, Sr.]]
*[[Soko Morinaga|Morinaga, Soko]]
*[[Ian Morison|Morison, Ian]]
*[[Berthe Morisot|Morisot, Berthe]]
*[[Dominique Morisseau|Morisseau, Dominique]]
*[[Alanis Morissette|Morissette, Alanis]]
*[[Akio Morita|Morita, Akio]]
*[[Robert Morkot|Morkot, Robert]]
*[[Desmond Morris|Morris, Desmond]]
*[[Dick Morris|Morris, Dick]]
*[[Gouverneur Morris|Morris, Gouverneur]]
*[[David Morrison|Morrison, David]]
*[[Mohamed Morsi|Morsi, Mohamed]]

===Morl–Moz===
*[[Christopher Morley|Morley, Christopher]]
*[[John Morley, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn|Morley, John, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn]]
*[[Robert Morley|Morley, Robert]]
*[[Harold J. Morowitz|Morowitz, Harold J.]]
*[[Paul Morphy|Morphy, Paul]]
*[[Edward de Veaux Morrell|Morrell, Edward de Veaux]]
*[[Charles Morris|Morris, Charles]]
*[[Errol Morris|Morris, Errol]]
*[[George Pope Morris|Morris, George Pope]]
*[[James Morris III|Morris, James]]
*[[Jan Morris|Morris, Jan]]
*[[Lewis Morris (poet)|Morris, Lewis]]
*[[Mark William Morris|Morris, Mark William]]
*[[Mixmaster Morris|Morris, Mixmaster]]
*[[William Morris|Morris, William]]
*[[Adam Morrison|Morrison, Adam]]
*[[Danny Morrison|Morrison, Danny]]
*[[Grant Morrison|Morrison, Grant]]
*[[Herbert Morrison|Morrison, Herbert]]
*[[James Morrison (singer)|Morrison, James]]
*[[Jim Morrison|Morrison, Jim]]
*[[Philip Morrison|Morrison, Philip]]
*[[Toni Morrison|Morrison, Toni]]
*[[Van Morrison|Morrison, Van]]
*[[Morrissey]]
*[[Dwight Morrow|Morrow, Dwight]]
*[[Marston Morse|Morse, Marston]]
*[[Samuel F. B. Morse|Morse, Samuel F. B.]]
*[[Viggo Mortensen|Mortensen, Viggo]]
*[[John Mortimer|Mortimer, John]]
*[[Thomas Morton (playwright)|Morton (playwright), Thomas]]
*[[Dudley W. Morton|Morton, Dudley W.]]
*[[Oliver P. Morton|Morton, Oliver Hazard Perry Throck]]
*[[John S. Mosby|Mosby, John Singleton]]
*[[Mos Def]]
*[[William Moseley (actor)|Moseley, William]]
*[[Claus Moser, Baron Moser|Moser, Claus, Baron Moser]]
*[[Lukas Moser|Moser, Lukas]]
*[[Grandma Moses|Moses, Grandma]] born Anna Mary Robertson
*[[Robert Moses|Moses, Robert]]
*[[Moses]]
*[[Ottessa Moshfegh|Moshfegh, Ottessa]]
*[[Oswald Mosley|Mosley, Oswald]]
*[[Walter Mosley|Mosley, Walter]]
*[[Kate Moss|Moss, Kate]]
*[[Thomas Moss (minister)|Moss, Thomas]]
*[[Zero Mostel|Mostel, Zero]]
*[[Morteza Motahhari|Motahhari, Morteza]]
*[[Maurice Motamed|Motamed, Maurice]]
*[[Mother Teresa|Mother Teresa (Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhi)]]
*[[Robert Motherwell|Motherwell, Robert]]
*[[William Motherwell|Motherwell, William]]
*[[Andrew Motion|Motion, Andrew]]
*[[Luboš Motl|Motl, Luboš]]
*[[John Lothrop Motley|Motley, John Lothrop]]
*[[Manouchehr Mottaki|Mottaki, Manouchehr]]
*[[Richard Mottram|Mottram, Richard]]
*[[Colin Moulding|Moulding, Colin]]
*[[Markos Moulitsas|Moulitsas, Markos]]
*[[Thomas Moult|Moult, Thomas]]
*[[Louise Chandler Moulton|Moulton, Louise Chandler]]
*[[Louis Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma|Mountbatten, Louis, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma]]
*[[William Mountford|Mountford, William]]
*[[José Mourinho|Mourinho, José]]
*[[Mir-Hossein Mousavi|Mousavi, Mir-Hossein]]
*[[Modest Mouse|Mouse, Modest]]
*[[Dorrit Moussaieff|Moussaieff, Dorrit]]
*[[Bill Moyers|Moyers, Bill]]
*[[Henry D. Moyle|Moyle, Henry D.]]
*[[Daniel Patrick Moynihan|Moynihan, Daniel Patrick]]
*[[Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart|Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus]]
*[[Mozi]]

===Mr–My===
*[[Basil Mramba|Mramba, Basil]]
*[[Jason Mraz|Mraz, Jason]]
*[[Hosni Mubarak|Mubarak, Hosni]]
*[[Suzanne Mubarak|Mubarak, Suzanne]]
*[[Ibrahim Mudeiris|Mudeiris, Ibrahim]]
*[[Robert Mugabe|Mugabe, Robert]]
*[[Malcolm Muggeridge|Muggeridge, Malcolm]]
*[[Imad Mughniyah|Mughniyah, Imad]]
*[[Bawa Muhaiyaddeen|Muhaiyaddeen, Bawa]]
*[[Muhammad|Muhammad, Holy Prophet]]
*[[Khalid Abdul Muhammad|Muhammad, Khalid Abdul]]
*[[William Augustus Muhlenberg|Muhlenberg, William Augustus]]
*[[Edwin Muir|Muir, Edwin]]
*[[John Muir|Muir, John]]
*[[Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh|Muircheartaigh, Mícheál Ó]]
*[[Keariene Muizz|Muizz, Keariene]]
*[[Rani Mukerji|Mukerji, Rani]]
*[[Bharati Mukherjee|Mukherjee, Bharati]]
*[[Pranab Mukherjee|Mukherjee, Pranab]]
*[[Omar Mukhtar|Mukhtar, Omar]]
*[[Usama Mukwaya|Mukwaya, Usama]]
*[[Paul Muldoon|Muldoon, Paul]]
*[[Robert Muldoon|Muldoon, Robert]]
*[[Harry Mulisch|Mulisch, Harry]]
*[[Megan Mullally|Mullally, Megan]]
*[[Martin Mull|Mull, Martin]]
*[[Larry Mullen|Mullen, Larry]]
*[[Michael Mullen|Mullen, Michael]]
*[[Matt Mullenweg|Mullenweg, Matt]]
*[[George Müller|Müller, George]]
*[[Heinrich Müller|Müller, Heinrich]]
*[[Herta Müller|Müller, Herta]]
*[[Max Müller|Müller, Max]]
*[[Richard A. Muller|Muller, Richard A.]]
*[[Robert S. Mulliken|Mulliken, Robert S.]]
*[[Rich Mullins|Mullins, Rich]]
*[[Kary Mullis|Mullis, Kary]]
*[[Dinah Craik|Mulock, Dinah Maria]]; also '''Dinah Maria Craik'''
*[[William Mulock|Mulock, William]]
*[[Brian Mulroney|Mulroney, Brian]]
*[[Lewis Mumford|Mumford, Lewis]]
*[[Mumtaz (actress)|Mumtaz]]
*[[Muhammad Munajid|Munajid, Muhammad]]
*[[Edvard Munch|Munch, Edvard]]
*[[Anthony Munday|Munday, Anthony]]
*[[Yagyū Munenori|Munenori, Yagyū]]
*[[Charlie Munger|Munger, Charlie]]
*[[Elie Munk|Munk, Elie]]
*[[Simon Munnery|Munnery, Simon]]
*[[Pedro Muñoz Seca|Muñoz Seca, Pedro]]
*[[Neil Munro (Hugh Foulis)|Munro, Neil]] (Hugh Foulis)
*[[Haruki Murakami|Murakami, Haruki]]
*[[Walter Murch|Murch, Walter]]
*[[Iris Murdoch|Murdoch, Iris]]
*[[Rupert Murdoch|Murdoch, Rupert]]
*[[Arthur Murphy|Murphy, Arthur]]
*[[Eddie Murphy|Murphy, Eddie]]
*[[Mike Murphy (political consultant)|Murphy, Michael Ellis &quot;Mike&quot;]]
*[[Morgan Murphy (food critic)|Murphy, Morgan]] (food critic)
*[[Pat Murphy|Murphy, Pat]]
*[[Rex Murphy|Murphy, Rex]]
*[[Dropkick Murphys|Murphys, Dropkick]]
*[[Andy Murray|Murray, Andy]]
*[[Bill Murray|Murray, Bill]]
*[[Charles Murray (author)|Murray, Charles]]
*[[Pauli Murray|Murray, Pauli]]
*[[Philip Murray|Murray, Philip]]
*[[W. H. Murray|Murray, W. H.]]
*[[Edward R. Murrow|Murrow, Edward R.]]
*[[John Middleton Murry|Murry, John Middleton]]
*[[Mindaugas Murza|Murza, Mindaugas]]
*[[Omar Musa|Musa, Omar]]
*[[Miyamoto Musashi|Musashi, Miyamoto]]
*[[Yoweri Museveni|Museveni, Yoweri]]
*[[Pervez Musharraf|Musharraf, Pervez]]
*[[David Mushet|Mushet, David]]
*[[Robert Musil|Musil, Robert]]
*[[Elon Musk|Musk, Elon]]
*[[Alfred de Musset|Musset, Alfred de]]
*[[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini, Benito]]
*[[Modest Mussorgsky|Mussorgsky, Modest]]
*[[Mustafa Kemal Atatürk]]
*[[A. J. Muste|Muste, A. J.]]
*[[Thomas Davies Mutch|Mutch, Thomas Davies]]
*[[Peter Mutharika|Mutharika, Peter]]
*[[Mark Mwandosya|Mwandosya, Mark]]
*[[David Myatt|Myatt, David]]
*[[Brian Reynolds Myers|Myers, Brian Reynolds &quot;B.R.&quot;]]
*[[Frederic William Henry Myers|Myers, Frederic William Henry]]
*[[PZ Myers|Myers, PZ]]
*[[Gunnar Myrdal|Myrdal, Gunnar]]
*[[Myrddin Wyllt]]
*[[Caroline Myss|Myss, Caroline]]
*[[Lee Myung-bak|Myung-bak, Lee]]

[[Category:Lists of people|M]]
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== Merge ip edits to user account ==

I have been editing under the ip range of [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64|2603:7080:da3c:7a33::/64]], I would like this to be merged to the user account [[User:ilovemydoodle|ilovemydoodle]], Is this possible and if so, can it be done? &lt;small&gt;—The preceding [[Wikiquote:Sign your posts on talk pages|unsigned]] comment was added by [[Special:Contributions/2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e|2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e]] ([[User talk:2603:7080:da3c:7a33:92c:4b4e:97c1:f71e|talk]]) 08:33, 5 May 2022&lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- Template:UnsignedIP --&gt;

== Finish a deletion nomination ==

Hello, please could someone add [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Formatting]] to the log page for me? I can't do it as an IP because the page has been protected. Thank you! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 00:21, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:26, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Thanks a bunch, much appreciated.
::If you get a minute could you also add:
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:N]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:This]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Vote removed]]
::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Strikethrough templates]]
::to the same page? [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:40, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} as well. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:24, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
::::Could you please also list these four discussions?:
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:LTADatabase]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:REDACTED]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Always substitute]]
::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:T]]
::::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:12, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:16, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Could you please add these discussions too?
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Change title]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ping active users]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Bansock]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Banplz]]
::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Welcome-Formatting]]
::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:13, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::{{Done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:37, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Another batch, if that's OK:
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:First article]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Sandbox link]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Userspace linking templates]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:SpellCheck]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-g12]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]]
::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Category:Suspected Wikipedia sockpuppets of GR&lt;noinclude/&gt;P]] 
::::::::Thanks! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:17, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:49, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::Thanks a bunch, and thanks for adding some of the discussions I just started.
::::::::::In this edit [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Votes_for_deletion&amp;diff=3146967&amp;oldid=3146966] you seem to have accidentally deleted [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Db-copyvio-notice]] while doing some cleanup, please could you re-add it to the list?
::::::::::Also a few more nominations:
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-afd5]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ensure AAA contrast ratio]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Templatesnotice]]
::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Closed and Template:Reopen]]
::::::::::Thanks again! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:02, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Forgot to ping again. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::{{done}} (and fixed the one I inadvertently deleted). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:42, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] A few more if you don't mind:
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Subst]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Hash]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Longquote-line]]
::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Uw-speedydeletion]]
::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:40, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:09, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Another batch:
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Hang on/notice2]]
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Category:Suspected sockpuppets]]
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Sockpuppet/categorise]]
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ping all administrators]]
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Election results]]
::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Tv.com person]]
::::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 12:01, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::: {{done}} [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 23:50, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Yet another batch:
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Film-cleanup/doc]]
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Ambox duplicates]]
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:SectionID]]
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Shortcut/w]]
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Cut]]
::::::::::::::::* [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Pp-template (second nomination)]]
::::::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:54, 2 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 19:40, 2 August 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::::::::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] I have another batch of nominations, please could you add them to the list?
::::::::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:GetSectionName]]
::::::::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:GetSection]]
::::::::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Edit section]]
::::::::::::::::::*[[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Module:Message box/old]]
::::::::::::::::::Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 15:05, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::::::::::{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:25, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== [[User: Eaglestorm]] again ==

This user with a history of being disruptive (just see their [[User talk:Eaglestorm]]) and a permanent block from English WP was recently globally unblocked on a technicality and is back to their [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm typical antics] of ruthlessly “enforcing” the non-policy, unofficial guideline of [[WQ:LOQ]] via edit warring and being hostile and stubborn when asked to negotiate a solution. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:29, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:here we go. did you even read the stewards report? I'm up to &quot;typical antics&quot; ... YOU'RE PLAIN OBSESSED with taking me down. What nonpolicy are you talking about? The one that's been effective with copyvio for the last 14 years?  --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 03:33, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Yes, you still are being a net negative here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:35, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::Do you not understand what '''''proposed''''' means here?! [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 03:38, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:Do you have diffs of edit-warring? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:01, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Dronebogus}} It looks a bit like you saw ES editing, and went around revering their edits across articles, including apparently on a least some article you'd never edited before, meaning you weren't following your watchlist, you were following ES. I guess we can add repeatedly reverting ES on their own talk page.
: So that's not all exactly a pristine position from which to argue about someone else's disruptiveness. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:26, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
::I know that, but ES is enforcing a proposed policy in a disruptive manner and is refusing to negotiate even when asked to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:15, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Well, one part inherent in LOQ certainly is policy: that excessively lengthy passages run afoul of copyright. But if you're gonna pick a hill to die on, I'm not sure the right one is ensuring that the article on GAT V includes riveting lines such as &quot;'''Jimmy De Santa''': Go away. '''Michael De Santa''': What?&quot; [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:08, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
:::And he's at it with the obsession edit as evidenced in Goldeneye - another article he's never ever edited on and would probably ignore if not for my work. Pathetic! You're a stalker who woke up on the wrong side of his bed and all of a sudden decided to wheelback one person's work in the name of skirting past copyright, plain and simple. And it's funny that one editor you complained to about me - who has a raft of copyright cleanups to his record - is even in on the act, adding more articles past LOQ. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 02:22, 1 August 2022 (UTC)

== Phab ticket ==

Would someone with a phabricator account be willing to look at [[Phab:T313189]]? It's requesting changes to this site's configuration that I do not think have consensus on the basis that everyone who opposed the proposal should have their &quot;votes&quot; removed for being &quot;invalid&quot;. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 11:11, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
:Meh. Neglected phab tickets tend to just quietly die. The community there has a good head on their shoulders, and are not likely to put significant work into something that doesn't have strong consensus, and where there is a preference, but not a pressing need. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:01, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== Block needed for 180.249.164.176 ==

{{user|180.249.164.176}} is being disruptive in pages related to abortion. Some edit summaries may require revdel. [[User:FlyingAce|FlyingAce]] ([[User talk:FlyingAce|talk]]) 05:30, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
: {{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:34, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== Move a page ==

Hello, could someone please move [[John kiarie]] to either [[John Kiarie Waweru]] or [[John Kiarie]] to fix the capitalisation? Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 16:25, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:28, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

== Edit request ==

Can someone remove the charinsert stuff from [[MediaWiki:Copyrightwarning]]? While unused by native editing tools, [[MediaWiki:Copyrightwarning]] can still be used by scripts, especially if they weren't specifically written for Wikimedia projects. &lt;span id=&quot;Alexis_Jazz:1659594610893:WikiquoteBWLCLNAdministrators&amp;apos;_noticeboard&quot; class=&quot;BawlCmt&quot;&gt;[[User:Alexis Jazz|Alexis Jazz]] ([[User talk:Alexis Jazz|talk]]) 06:30, 4 August 2022 (UTC)&lt;/span&gt;

:{{re|Alexis Jazz}} {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:58, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

== History merge needed ==

Hello,

Please could someone history merge [[Khalil Gibran]] and [[Kahlil Gibran]]? The page was cut and paste moved a few years back, so the page history is now in a redirect. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 22:49, 4 August 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:31, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] They don't seem to have been history merged? The page history prior to 2020 is here [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Khalil_Gibran&amp;action=history], and the page histoyr from the last two years is here [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Kahlil_Gibran&amp;action=history]. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:58, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== LTA ==

Please semi-protect [[:Category:Philippines]] (long term abuse, see page history) and block the current IP {{vandal|112.204.175.238}} --[[User:Johannnes89|Johannnes89]] ([[User talk:Johannnes89|talk]]) 12:54, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:07, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

== Request to move a module. ==

Hello, please could someone move [[Module:Section link/w]] to [[Module:Section link]] without leaving a redirect? I can't think of any logical reason why this module copied from another project needs to be at a weird subpage title. Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:00, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
: {{done}} (and all moves of modules don't leave redirects) [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 15:06, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

== Quotations removed without discussion ==

Management is encouraged to consider that in April/May of this year, &quot;HouseOfChange&quot;  quickly removed hundreds of properly sourced quotations from notable people, which he did not approve of. It seems that HouseofChange has ignored the advice of BD2412 given on 26 April (text below) where he  advised him to move the removed quotes to the discussion pages for the good of this project.  


Here are some of the pages where the censored quotes have not yet been placed on the discussion pages, along with the approx. # of censored bytes:

Allegation; removed ~2847 bytes, 

Brainwashing ~17,000+ bytes, 

Cover-up - ~18,000 bytes, 

Corruption - ~16,884 bytes,

Decadence-  ~25,000 bytes,

Deception - ~5,000 bytes,

Hegemony ~6,000,

International Monetary Fund - ~35,000 bytes,

Mafia state ~27,000+ bytes,

Misinformation - ~9,000 bytes,  

Nuclear weapons  - ~19,000+ bytes,

Ukraine -40,000 bytes,

Reality-  ~27,000 bbytes,  

(please note, this is not a complete list - these were noted during a brief search)


referencing:  [[User_talk:HouseOfChange#Just_a_thought]]


BD2412 [to houseofchange]:... you are being quite aggressive in removing quotes that could arguably be included somewhere. I would suggest that rather than merely deleting them, you should move them to the respective talk pages of the pages you are working on (unless they are clearly by speakers with no plausible claim to notability). Some of them, readers might decide to keep, perhaps trimmed to a degree. Some of them might fit well into other pages. BD2412 T 07:14, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]


HouseOfChange&quot; [reply]  That is a great idea! Thanks @BD2412: for the suggestion! It will preserve the material for other editors to give an opinion while making the article itself more readable/useful to readers... HouseOfChange (talk) 01:11, 27 April 2022 (UTC)

The actions of HouseOfChange  suggest that he may be not at all interested in helping educate the public with illuminating &amp; thought provoking quotations from notable people,  but working to intentionally dumb the people down by censoring what some would view as &quot;inconvenient truths&quot;.  Some would say that while he was boldly claiming to be battling POV pushing, he himself was POV pushing on a grand scale.    We encourage WQ's honorable   bureaucrats to encourage HouseofChange to follow the advice of BD2412 and that he (and one or two admins who egged him on) to be watched very carefully.  Obviously, there are many these days who tend to say one thing while doing something else, the air in the west seems to be  more full of lies than ever before. Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/47.36.43.90|47.36.43.90]] 00:13, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

== Shining Time Station ==

:{{vandal|True to the Music}}
:{{vandal|68.193.160.90}}

:Likely sockpuppetry (similar edits to the &quot;abandoned&quot; Fourlaxers account), replacing humorous threatening quotes with confusing and meaningless quotes without first discussing on the article's talk page.
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shining_Time_Station&amp;diff=3154192&amp;oldid=3154176 Exhibit A]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shining_Time_Station&amp;diff=3152519&amp;oldid=3152515 Exhibit B]
:These users need to cease. [[Special:Contributions/192.145.117.123|192.145.117.123]] 23:13, 13 August 2022 (UTC)
::*sigh* I try to warn the user account, but he just won't relent. All he keeps doing is reply with feeble, half-baked excuses. [[Special:Contributions/192.145.117.123|192.145.117.123]] 23:29, 13 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>4l6afvwolkr4ob8jomduqybfrfnqzwb</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Despicable Me (film)</title>
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      <text bytes="15785" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:2016 Harvest Moon penumbral eclipse at 18-54 UTC (30434544401).jpg|thumb|We are going to steal… pause for effect… THE MOON!]]
[[File:Las Vegas NY NY Hotel.jpg|thumb|We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one from Las Vegas.]]
[[File:The hotel Paris Las Vegas as seen from the hotel The Bellagio.jpg|thumb|I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.]]

'''''[[w:Despicable Me (film)|Despicable Me]]''''' is a [[w:2010 in film|2010]] American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better. It's the first Illumination animated film.
:''Directed by [[w:Chris Renaud (animator)|Chris Renaud]] and [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Superbad. Superdad.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

==Gru==
* ''[To his Minions]'' What did we do? Well, we stole the [[w:One Times Square|Times Square JumboTron]]! Nice. ''[all cheering]'' That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching [[American football|football]] on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the [[Statue of Liberty]]! ''[Minions cheer]'' [[w:New York-New York Hotel and Casino|The small one]] from [[Las Vegas]]. ''[Minions groan with disappointment]'' And I won't even mention the [[W:Eiffel Tower|Eiffel Tower]]. [[W:Paris Las Vegas|Also Vegas]].

* Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the ''true'' crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... ''[all the minions pull out weapons]'' Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! ''[Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions]'' Hey! Dave, listen up, please! ''[one of the singed minions punches Dave]'' Next, we are going to steal... ''[long pause]'' pause for effect… ''[opens skylight]'' ...THE [[Moon|MOON]]!

* ''[repeated line, whenever he has an idea]'' Light bulb...

==Vector==
* [''to Gru''] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... ''Vector''! [''no response''] That's [[W:vector|a mathematical term]], represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [''no response''] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both ''direction'' and '''''magnitude!''''' OH YEAH!

* ''[to Gru]'' Check this out! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranha. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.

* ''[After shrinking his toilet to amuse himself]'' Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. ''[mumbling in baby-talk]'' For little tiny baby people to u— ''[toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face]'' Augh! Curse you, tiny toilet!

==Edith==
*When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
*[referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her]'' Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!

==Others==
* '''Mr. Perkins''''': [Gru is applying for a loan]'' Let’s say this apple is you. If we don’t start getting our money back… ''[viciously crushes the apple]'' get the picture? ''[Gru gulps nervously]''

* '''Agnes''': Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Armstrong on Moon (As11-40-5886) (cropped).jpg|thumb|I’m afraid you’re too late, son. [[NASA]] isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.]]
:'''Fred''': Morning, Gru! How you doing? 
:'''Gru''': Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it. 
:'''Fred''': Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go. 
:'''Gru''': Unless they're dead. ''[laughs]'' I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
:'''Fred''': ''[confused]'' Oh, okay. Uh... yeah! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
:'''Gru''': What? What happened?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a [[w:pyramids of giza|pyramid]]! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
:'''Gru''': [''responds angrily''] Assemble the Minions!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': ''[takes phone call]'' Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
:'''Gru's Mom''': I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [''Gru sighs in disgust''] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [''laughs'']
:'''Gru''': Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
:'''Gru's Mom''': Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! ''[ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered ''[fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]''
:'''Gru''': No, I said ''dart'' gun, not— ''[wafts stench away from face]'' Ooh! Okay…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Gru''': ''[Watching [[Apollo 11]] landings]'' Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
:'''Gru's Mom''': Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. [[NASA]] isn't sending the monkeys anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edith''': Are these beds made out of bombs?
:'''Gru''': Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
:'''Edith''': Cool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins'']
:'''Gru''': Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see ''this!'' [''shows the shrink ray''] Huh? [''Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk'']
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
:'''Gru''': Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [''shows a picture''] I fly to the moon... [''shows another picture''] ...I shrink the moon... ''[shows another picture]'' ...I grab the moon... [''shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith''] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! ''[the girls laugh; nervous]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margo''': Hey, can we order pizza?
:'''Edith''': All right then.
:'''Gru''': [''picks up Agnes and puts her back''] Pizza? You just had lunch!
:'''Edith''': Not now, for dinner.
:'''Gru''': Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
:'''Margo''': Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
:[''Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face'']
:'''Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry''': Ooh, stuffed crust!
:'''Gru''': I'll stuff you all in the crust!
:'''Agnes''': [''giggles''] You're funny!
:'''Gru''': Just don't come out of that room again! ''[closes the door; to Mr. Perkins]'' Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
:'''Mr. Perkins''': You were sitting on the toilet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''furious''] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! ''[chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him]'' No, no, no!
:'''Edith''': Freeze ray!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Mr. Gru?
:'''Gru''': [''makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks''] As I was saying...
:'''Mr. Perkins''': No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
:'''Gru''': But my plan--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
:[''Gru remembers some of his memories'']
::'''Young Gru''': Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at Gru's picture, but turns back''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Gru''': Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Gru''': [''excitedly''] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [''presses a button and sends the rocket into space''] 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off''] Ooo... [''looks back at Gru''] Ehh.
:'''Gru''': [''Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused''] I... don't understand.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain. 
:'''Gru''': But I--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [''crushes his apple and the TV turns off'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]''
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you know where the shrink ray is?
:'''Vector''': Duh! Back at my place.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one. ''[shows Vector the image on his laptop]'' That looks exactly like it!
:'''Vector''': What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
:'''Vector''': No, I haven't!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, really?
:'''Vector''': Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! ''(opens his weapon case)'' Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [''fires a squid into the lobby'']
:'''Man''': Aah! There's a squid on my face!
:'''Vector''': You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''trying to put the girls in bed''] Come on now. It's bed time. [''to Agnes''] Did you brush your teeth? [''Agnes nods''] Let me smell, Let me smell... [''Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags''] You did ''not''! [''Edith suddenly lands on him''] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
:'''Edith''': But we're not tired!
:'''Gru''': Well, I am tired!
:'''Agnes''': [''holding the book Sleepy Kittens''] Will you read us a bedtime story?
:[''silence'']
:'''Gru''': [''in a deep voice''] No. [''attempts to leave the room'']
:'''Agnes''': Pretty please?
:'''Gru''': The physical appearance of the ''please'' makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
:'''Edith''': But we can't! We're all hyper!
:'''Margo''': And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
:[''pause'']
:'''Gru''': [''sighs; giving in''] Fine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Agnes''': I like him. He's nice.
:'''Edith''': But scary. [''turns off her light'']
:'''Agnes''': ...Like Santa! [''turns off her light'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''leans into the camera lens''] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a ''world of pain''!
:'''Vector''': ''[laughs, sarcastically]'' Ooh, I'm really scared!
:[''Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.'']
:'''Agnes''': [''smugly''] He is gonna kick your butt.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': Okay, girls, time for bed.
:'''Edith''': Ah, come on, we want a story.
:'''Agnes''': ''[excited]'' Three Sleepy Kittens!
:'''Gru''': Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
:''[Kyle snorts]''
:'''Gru''': Tonight, we are going to read a new book. ''[shows his homemade book to the girls]'' This one is called, &quot;One Big Unicorn&quot; by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! ''[opens the book]'' Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. ''[sticks his nose through a small hole]'' That's the horn.
:''[the girls laugh along with Gru]''
:'''Agnes''': This is gonna be the best book ever.
:'''Gru''': Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. ''[opens the book]'' Here we go. &quot;One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down.&quot;
:'''Edith''': [''points to the page''] Hey, that one looks like me!
:'''Gru''': [''pulls back the book''] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [''continues reading''] &quot;They made him laugh... [''laughs''] ...They made him cry.&quot; [''sighs''] &quot;He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart.&quot; [''beats''] The End. [''closes the book''] Okay, alright, good night.
:[''Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck'']
:'''Margo''': I love you.
:'''Gru''': [''hugging her back; whispering''] I love you too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[watching the girls' dance recital]''
:'''Gru''': They're very good.
:'''Marlena''': Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. ''[Gru rolls his eyes]'' Maybe even better. ''[Gru smiles]''

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like [[Dracula]] and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of [[James Bond]], thinking of characters like [[Goldfinger]] and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.
:* [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]] in [http://www.cartoonbrew.com/award-season-focus/directors-chris-renaud-and-pierre-coffin-on-creative-choices-and-challenges-in-despicable-me-films-93702.html &quot;Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films&quot;], by C. Edwards, ''Cartoon Brew'', 01/03/2014.

==Taglines==
* Superbad, Superdad
* Some call him bad, ''they'' call him dad. (British tagline)
* Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
* Happy Fathers’ Day
* Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a ''bad'' guy.
* From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
* What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
* His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
* It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.

==Cast==
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] - Gru
* [[w:Jason Segel|Jason Segel]] - Vector
* [[w:Russell Brand|Russell Brand]] - Dr. Nefario
* [[w:Julie Andrews|Julie Andrews]] - Marlena Gru (credited as &quot;Gru's Mom&quot;)
* [[w:Will Arnett|Will Arnett]] - Mr. Perkins
* [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] - Ms. Hattie
* [[w:Miranda Cosgrove|Miranda Cosgrove]] - Margo
* [[w:Dana Gaier|Dana Gaier]] - Edith
* [[w:Elsie Fisher|Elsie Fisher]] - Agnes
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] - The Minions
* [[w:Jack McBrayer|Jack McBrayer]] - Justin's Dad, Carnival Barker
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] - Talk Show Host
* [[w:Danny McBride (actor)|Danny McBride]] - Fred McDade
* [[w:Mindy Kaling|Mindy Kaling]] - Justin's Mom
* [[w:Rob Huebel|Rob Huebel]] - Anchorman, Newscaster
* [[w:Ken Daurio|Ken Daurio]] - Egyptian Guard
* [[w:Frank Welker|Frank Welker]] - Kyle (uncredited)

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Despicable Me|''Despicable Me''}}
*{{Official|http://www.despicableme.com}}
*{{imdb title|id=1323594|title=Despicable Me}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2010 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]
[[Category:Films set in Egypt]]
[[Category:Films set in North Korea]]
[[Category:Black comedy films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Moon-related films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about orphans]]
[[Category:Chris Renaud films]]</text>
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[[File:2016 Harvest Moon penumbral eclipse at 18-54 UTC (30434544401).jpg|thumb|We are going to steal… pause for effect… THE MOON!]]
[[File:Las Vegas NY NY Hotel.jpg|thumb|We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one from Las Vegas.]]
[[File:The hotel Paris Las Vegas as seen from the hotel The Bellagio.jpg|thumb|I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.]]

'''''[[w:Despicable Me (film)|Despicable Me]]''''' is a [[w:2010 in film|2010]] American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better. It's the first Illumination animated film.
:''Directed by [[w:Chris Renaud (animator)|Chris Renaud]] and [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Superbad. Superdad.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

==Gru==
* ''[To his Minions]'' What did we do? Well, we stole the [[w:One Times Square|Times Square JumboTron]]! Nice. ''[all cheering]'' That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching [[American football|football]] on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the [[Statue of Liberty]]! ''[Minions cheer]'' [[w:New York-New York Hotel and Casino|The small one]] from [[Las Vegas]]. ''[Minions groan with disappointment]'' And I won't even mention the [[W:Eiffel Tower|Eiffel Tower]]. [[W:Paris Las Vegas|Also Vegas]].

* Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the ''true'' crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... ''[all the minions pull out weapons]'' Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! ''[Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions]'' Hey! Dave, listen up, please! ''[one of the singed minions punches Dave]'' Next, we are going to steal... ''[long pause]'' pause for effect… ''[opens skylight]'' ...THE [[Moon|MOON]]!

* ''[repeated line, whenever he has an idea]'' Light bulb...

==Vector==
* [''to Gru''] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... ''Vector''! [''no response''] That's [[W:vector|a mathematical term]], represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [''no response''] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both ''direction'' and '''''magnitude!''''' OH YEAH!

* ''[to Gru]'' Check this out! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranha. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.

* ''[After shrinking his toilet to amuse himself]'' Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. ''[mumbling in baby-talk]'' For little tiny baby people to u— ''[toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face]'' Augh! Curse you, tiny toilet!

==Edith==
*When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
*[referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her]'' Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!

==Others==
* '''Mr. Perkins''''': [Gru is applying for a loan]'' Let’s say this apple is you. If we don’t start getting our money back… ''[viciously crushes the apple]'' get the picture? ''[Gru gulps nervously]''

* '''Agnes''': Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Armstrong on Moon (As11-40-5886) (cropped).jpg|thumb|I’m afraid you’re too late, son. [[NASA]] isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.]]
:'''Fred''': Morning, Gru! How you doing? 
:'''Mr. Gru''': Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it. 
:'''Fred''': Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go. 
:'''Mr. Gru''': Unless they're dead. ''[laughs]'' I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
:'''Fred''': ''[confused]'' Oh, okay. Uh... yeah! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
:'''Mr. Gru''': What? What happened?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a [[w:pyramids of giza|pyramid]]! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''responds angrily''] Assemble the Minions!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Gru''': ''[takes phone call]'' Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
:'''Mrs. Gru''': I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [''Gru sighs in disgust''] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [''laughs'']
:'''Mr. Gru''': Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
:'''Mrs. Gru''': Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! ''[ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered ''[fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at a minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]''
:'''Mr. Gru''': No I said ''dart'' gun, not— ''[wafts stench away from face]'' Ooh! Okay…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Mr. Gru''': ''[Watching [[Apollo 11]] landings]'' Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
:'''Mrs. Gru''': Oh i'm afraid you're too late son. [[NASA]] isn't sending the monkeys anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edith''': Are these beds made out of bombs?
:'''Mr. Gru''': Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
:'''Edith''': Cool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins'']
:'''Mr. Gru''': Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see ''this!'' [''shows the shrink ray''] Huh? [''Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk'']
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
:'''Mr. Gru''': Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [''shows a picture''] I fly to the moon... [''shows another picture''] ...I shrink the moon... ''[shows another picture]'' ...I grab the moon... [''shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith''] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! ''[the girls laugh; nervous]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margo''': Hey can we order pizza?
:'''Edith''': All right then.
:'''Mrs. Gru''': [''picks up Agnes and puts her back''] Pizza? You just had lunch!
:'''Edith''': Not now, for dinner.
:'''Mr. Gru''': Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
:'''Margo''': Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
:[''Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face'']
:'''Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry''': Ooh, stuffed crust!
:'''Mr. Gru''': I'll stuff you all in the crust!
:'''Agnes''': [''giggles''] You're funny!
:'''Mr. Gru''': Just don't come out of that room again! ''[closes the door; to Mr. Perkins]'' Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
:'''Mr. Perkins''': You were sitting on the toilet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''furious''] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! ''[chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him]'' No, no, no!
:'''Edith''': Freeze ray!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Mr. Gru?
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks''] As I was saying...
:'''Mr. Perkins''': No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
:'''Mr. Gru''': But my plan--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
:[''Mr. Gru remembers some of his memories'']
::'''Young Mr. Gru''': Look Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! 
::'''Mrs. Gru''': [''looks at Gru's picture, but turns back''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Mr. Gru''': Look Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! 
::'''Mrs. Gru''': [''looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Mr. Gru''': [''excitedly''] Look Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [''presses a button and sends the rocket into space''] 
::'''Mrs. Gru''': [''looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off''] Ooo... [''looks back at Gru''] Ehh.
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused''] I... don't understand.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Let's face reality Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well a younger villain. 
:'''Mr. Gru''': But I--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': It's over. Goodbye Gru. [''crushes his apple and the TV turns off'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]''
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you know where the shrink ray is?
:'''Vector''': Duh! Back at my place.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one. ''[shows Vector the image on his laptop]'' That looks exactly like it!
:'''Vector''': What the? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
:'''Vector''': No, I haven't!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, really?
:'''Vector''': Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! ''(opens his weapon case)'' Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [''fires a squid into the lobby'']
:'''Man''': Aah! There's a squid on my face!
:'''Vector''': You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''trying to put the girls in bed''] Come on now. It's bed time. [''to Agnes''] Did you brush your teeth? [''Agnes nods''] Let me smell, Let me smell... [''Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags''] You did ''not''! [''Edith suddenly lands on him''] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
:'''Edith''': But we're not tired!
:'''Mr. Gru''': Well I am tired!
:'''Agnes''': [''holding the book Sleepy Kittens''] Will you read us a bedtime story?
:[''silence'']
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''in a deep voice''] No. [''attempts to leave the room'']
:'''Agnes''': Pretty please?
:'''Mr. Gru''': The physical appearance of the ''please'' makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
:'''Edith''': But we can't! We're all hyper!
:'''Margo''': And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
:[''pause'']
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''sighs; giving in''] Fine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Agnes''': I like him. He's nice.
:'''Edith''': But scary. [''turns off her light'']
:'''Agnes''': ...Like Santa! [''turns off her light'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''leans into the camera lens''] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a ''world of pain''!
:'''Vector''': ''[laughs, sarcastically]'' Ooh i'm really scared!
:[''Mr. Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.'']
:'''Agnes''': [''smugly''] He is gonna kick your butt.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Gru''': Okay, girls, time for bed.
:'''Edith''': Ah, come on, we want a story.
:'''Agnes''': ''[excited]'' Three Sleepy Kittens!
:'''Mr. Gru''': Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
:''[Kyle snorts]''
:'''Mr. Gru''': Tonight, we are going to read a new book. ''[shows his homemade book to the girls]'' This one is called, &quot;One Big Unicorn&quot; by... who wrote it? Oh me! I wrote it! ''[opens the book]'' Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey watch this. ''[sticks his nose through a small hole]'' That's the horn.
:''[the girls laugh along with Mr. Gru]''
:'''Agnes''': This is gonna be the best book ever.
:'''Mr. Gru''': Not to pat myself on the back, but yes it probably will be. ''[opens the book]'' Here we go. &quot;One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down.&quot;
:'''Edith''': [''points to the page''] Hey, that one looks like me!
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''pulls back the book''] No what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [''continues reading''] &quot;They made him laugh... [''laughs''] ...They made him cry.&quot; [''sighs''] &quot;He never should have said goodbye and now he knows he could never part from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart.&quot; [''beats''] The End. [''closes the book''] Okay, alright, good night.
:[''Mr. Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck'']
:'''Margo''': I love you.
:'''Mr. Gru''': [''hugging her back; whispering''] I love you too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[watching the girls' dance recital]''
:'''Mr. Gru''': They're very good.
:'''Mrs. Gru''': Ah i'm so proud of you son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. ''[Gru rolls his eyes]'' Maybe even better. ''[Gru smiles]''

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like [[Dracula]] and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of [[James Bond]], thinking of characters like [[Goldfinger]] and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.
:* [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]] in [http://www.cartoonbrew.com/award-season-focus/directors-chris-renaud-and-pierre-coffin-on-creative-choices-and-challenges-in-despicable-me-films-93702.html &quot;Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films&quot;], by C. Edwards, ''Cartoon Brew'', 01/03/2014.

==Taglines==
* Superbad, Superdad
* Some call him bad, ''they'' call him dad. (British tagline)
* Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
* Happy Fathers’ Day
* Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a ''bad'' guy.
* From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
* What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
* His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
* It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.

==Cast==
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] - Gru
* [[w:Jason Segel|Jason Segel]] - Vector
* [[w:Russell Brand|Russell Brand]] - Dr. Nefario
* [[w:Julie Andrews|Julie Andrews]] - Marlena Gru (credited as &quot;Gru's Mom&quot;)
* [[w:Will Arnett|Will Arnett]] - Mr. Perkins
* [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] - Ms. Hattie
* [[w:Miranda Cosgrove|Miranda Cosgrove]] - Margo
* [[w:Dana Gaier|Dana Gaier]] - Edith
* [[w:Elsie Fisher|Elsie Fisher]] - Agnes
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] - The Minions
* [[w:Jack McBrayer|Jack McBrayer]] - Justin's Dad, Carnival Barker
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] - Talk Show Host
* [[w:Danny McBride (actor)|Danny McBride]] - Fred McDade
* [[w:Mindy Kaling|Mindy Kaling]] - Justin's Mom
* [[w:Rob Huebel|Rob Huebel]] - Anchorman, Newscaster
* [[w:Ken Daurio|Ken Daurio]] - Egyptian Guard
* [[w:Frank Welker|Frank Welker]] - Kyle (uncredited)

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Despicable Me|''Despicable Me''}}
*{{Official|http://www.despicableme.com}}
*{{imdb title|id=1323594|title=Despicable Me}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2010 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]
[[Category:Films set in Egypt]]
[[Category:Films set in North Korea]]
[[Category:Black comedy films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Moon-related films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about orphans]]
[[Category:Chris Renaud films]]</text>
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      <id>3154803</id>
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        <username>Dronebogus</username>
        <id>3078761</id>
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      <comment>Undo revision 3154793 by [[Special:Contributions/172.58.236.203|172.58.236.203]] ([[User talk:172.58.236.203|talk]]) nobody calls him this consistently</comment>
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      <text bytes="15785" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:2016 Harvest Moon penumbral eclipse at 18-54 UTC (30434544401).jpg|thumb|We are going to steal… pause for effect… THE MOON!]]
[[File:Las Vegas NY NY Hotel.jpg|thumb|We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one from Las Vegas.]]
[[File:The hotel Paris Las Vegas as seen from the hotel The Bellagio.jpg|thumb|I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.]]

'''''[[w:Despicable Me (film)|Despicable Me]]''''' is a [[w:2010 in film|2010]] American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better. It's the first Illumination animated film.
:''Directed by [[w:Chris Renaud (animator)|Chris Renaud]] and [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Superbad. Superdad.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

==Gru==
* ''[To his Minions]'' What did we do? Well, we stole the [[w:One Times Square|Times Square JumboTron]]! Nice. ''[all cheering]'' That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching [[American football|football]] on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the [[Statue of Liberty]]! ''[Minions cheer]'' [[w:New York-New York Hotel and Casino|The small one]] from [[Las Vegas]]. ''[Minions groan with disappointment]'' And I won't even mention the [[W:Eiffel Tower|Eiffel Tower]]. [[W:Paris Las Vegas|Also Vegas]].

* Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the ''true'' crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... ''[all the minions pull out weapons]'' Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! ''[Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions]'' Hey! Dave, listen up, please! ''[one of the singed minions punches Dave]'' Next, we are going to steal... ''[long pause]'' pause for effect… ''[opens skylight]'' ...THE [[Moon|MOON]]!

* ''[repeated line, whenever he has an idea]'' Light bulb...

==Vector==
* [''to Gru''] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... ''Vector''! [''no response''] That's [[W:vector|a mathematical term]], represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [''no response''] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both ''direction'' and '''''magnitude!''''' OH YEAH!

* ''[to Gru]'' Check this out! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranha. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.

* ''[After shrinking his toilet to amuse himself]'' Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. ''[mumbling in baby-talk]'' For little tiny baby people to u— ''[toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face]'' Augh! Curse you, tiny toilet!

==Edith==
*When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
*[referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her]'' Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!

==Others==
* '''Mr. Perkins''''': [Gru is applying for a loan]'' Let’s say this apple is you. If we don’t start getting our money back… ''[viciously crushes the apple]'' get the picture? ''[Gru gulps nervously]''

* '''Agnes''': Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!

==Dialogue==
[[File:Armstrong on Moon (As11-40-5886) (cropped).jpg|thumb|I’m afraid you’re too late, son. [[NASA]] isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.]]
:'''Fred''': Morning, Gru! How you doing? 
:'''Gru''': Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it. 
:'''Fred''': Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go. 
:'''Gru''': Unless they're dead. ''[laughs]'' I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
:'''Fred''': ''[confused]'' Oh, okay. Uh... yeah! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
:'''Gru''': What? What happened?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a [[w:pyramids of giza|pyramid]]! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
:'''Gru''': [''responds angrily''] Assemble the Minions!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': ''[takes phone call]'' Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
:'''Gru's Mom''': I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [''Gru sighs in disgust''] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [''laughs'']
:'''Gru''': Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
:'''Gru's Mom''': Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! ''[ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered ''[fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]''
:'''Gru''': No, I said ''dart'' gun, not— ''[wafts stench away from face]'' Ooh! Okay…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Young Gru''': ''[Watching [[Apollo 11]] landings]'' Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
:'''Gru's Mom''': Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. [[NASA]] isn't sending the monkeys anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edith''': Are these beds made out of bombs?
:'''Gru''': Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
:'''Edith''': Cool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins'']
:'''Gru''': Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see ''this!'' [''shows the shrink ray''] Huh? [''Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk'']
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
:'''Gru''': Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [''shows a picture''] I fly to the moon... [''shows another picture''] ...I shrink the moon... ''[shows another picture]'' ...I grab the moon... [''shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith''] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! ''[the girls laugh; nervous]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margo''': Hey, can we order pizza?
:'''Edith''': All right then.
:'''Gru''': [''picks up Agnes and puts her back''] Pizza? You just had lunch!
:'''Edith''': Not now, for dinner.
:'''Gru''': Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
:'''Margo''': Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
:[''Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face'']
:'''Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry''': Ooh, stuffed crust!
:'''Gru''': I'll stuff you all in the crust!
:'''Agnes''': [''giggles''] You're funny!
:'''Gru''': Just don't come out of that room again! ''[closes the door; to Mr. Perkins]'' Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
:'''Mr. Perkins''': You were sitting on the toilet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''furious''] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! ''[chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him]'' No, no, no!
:'''Edith''': Freeze ray!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Mr. Gru?
:'''Gru''': [''makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks''] As I was saying...
:'''Mr. Perkins''': No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
:'''Gru''': But my plan--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
:[''Gru remembers some of his memories'']
::'''Young Gru''': Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at Gru's picture, but turns back''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Gru''': Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets''] Ehh. 
::'''Young Gru''': [''excitedly''] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [''presses a button and sends the rocket into space''] 
::'''Gru's Mom''': [''looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off''] Ooo... [''looks back at Gru''] Ehh.
:'''Gru''': [''Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused''] I... don't understand.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain. 
:'''Gru''': But I--
:'''Mr. Perkins''': It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [''crushes his apple and the TV turns off'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]''
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you know where the shrink ray is?
:'''Vector''': Duh! Back at my place.
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one. ''[shows Vector the image on his laptop]'' That looks exactly like it!
:'''Vector''': What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
:'''Vector''': No, I haven't!
:'''Mr. Perkins''': Oh, really?
:'''Vector''': Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! ''(opens his weapon case)'' Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [''fires a squid into the lobby'']
:'''Man''': Aah! There's a squid on my face!
:'''Vector''': You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''trying to put the girls in bed''] Come on now. It's bed time. [''to Agnes''] Did you brush your teeth? [''Agnes nods''] Let me smell, Let me smell... [''Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags''] You did ''not''! [''Edith suddenly lands on him''] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
:'''Edith''': But we're not tired!
:'''Gru''': Well, I am tired!
:'''Agnes''': [''holding the book Sleepy Kittens''] Will you read us a bedtime story?
:[''silence'']
:'''Gru''': [''in a deep voice''] No. [''attempts to leave the room'']
:'''Agnes''': Pretty please?
:'''Gru''': The physical appearance of the ''please'' makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
:'''Edith''': But we can't! We're all hyper!
:'''Margo''': And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
:[''pause'']
:'''Gru''': [''sighs; giving in''] Fine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Agnes''': I like him. He's nice.
:'''Edith''': But scary. [''turns off her light'']
:'''Agnes''': ...Like Santa! [''turns off her light'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''leans into the camera lens''] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a ''world of pain''!
:'''Vector''': ''[laughs, sarcastically]'' Ooh, I'm really scared!
:[''Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.'']
:'''Agnes''': [''smugly''] He is gonna kick your butt.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': Okay, girls, time for bed.
:'''Edith''': Ah, come on, we want a story.
:'''Agnes''': ''[excited]'' Three Sleepy Kittens!
:'''Gru''': Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
:''[Kyle snorts]''
:'''Gru''': Tonight, we are going to read a new book. ''[shows his homemade book to the girls]'' This one is called, &quot;One Big Unicorn&quot; by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! ''[opens the book]'' Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. ''[sticks his nose through a small hole]'' That's the horn.
:''[the girls laugh along with Gru]''
:'''Agnes''': This is gonna be the best book ever.
:'''Gru''': Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. ''[opens the book]'' Here we go. &quot;One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down.&quot;
:'''Edith''': [''points to the page''] Hey, that one looks like me!
:'''Gru''': [''pulls back the book''] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [''continues reading''] &quot;They made him laugh... [''laughs''] ...They made him cry.&quot; [''sighs''] &quot;He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart.&quot; [''beats''] The End. [''closes the book''] Okay, alright, good night.
:[''Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck'']
:'''Margo''': I love you.
:'''Gru''': [''hugging her back; whispering''] I love you too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[watching the girls' dance recital]''
:'''Gru''': They're very good.
:'''Marlena''': Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. ''[Gru rolls his eyes]'' Maybe even better. ''[Gru smiles]''

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like [[Dracula]] and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of [[James Bond]], thinking of characters like [[Goldfinger]] and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.
:* [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]] in [http://www.cartoonbrew.com/award-season-focus/directors-chris-renaud-and-pierre-coffin-on-creative-choices-and-challenges-in-despicable-me-films-93702.html &quot;Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films&quot;], by C. Edwards, ''Cartoon Brew'', 01/03/2014.

==Taglines==
* Superbad, Superdad
* Some call him bad, ''they'' call him dad. (British tagline)
* Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
* Happy Fathers’ Day
* Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a ''bad'' guy.
* From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
* What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
* His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
* It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.

==Cast==
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] - Gru
* [[w:Jason Segel|Jason Segel]] - Vector
* [[w:Russell Brand|Russell Brand]] - Dr. Nefario
* [[w:Julie Andrews|Julie Andrews]] - Marlena Gru (credited as &quot;Gru's Mom&quot;)
* [[w:Will Arnett|Will Arnett]] - Mr. Perkins
* [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] - Ms. Hattie
* [[w:Miranda Cosgrove|Miranda Cosgrove]] - Margo
* [[w:Dana Gaier|Dana Gaier]] - Edith
* [[w:Elsie Fisher|Elsie Fisher]] - Agnes
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] - The Minions
* [[w:Jack McBrayer|Jack McBrayer]] - Justin's Dad, Carnival Barker
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] - Talk Show Host
* [[w:Danny McBride (actor)|Danny McBride]] - Fred McDade
* [[w:Mindy Kaling|Mindy Kaling]] - Justin's Mom
* [[w:Rob Huebel|Rob Huebel]] - Anchorman, Newscaster
* [[w:Ken Daurio|Ken Daurio]] - Egyptian Guard
* [[w:Frank Welker|Frank Welker]] - Kyle (uncredited)

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Despicable Me|''Despicable Me''}}
*{{Official|http://www.despicableme.com}}
*{{imdb title|id=1323594|title=Despicable Me}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2010 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]
[[Category:Films set in Egypt]]
[[Category:Films set in North Korea]]
[[Category:Black comedy films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Moon-related films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about orphans]]
[[Category:Chris Renaud films]]</text>
      <sha1>ibdlaqigzbhmlhyx91tu41o3mxhqi4l</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Transformers: Prime</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>123970</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154767</id>
      <parentid>3127434</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:45:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>50.158.70.75</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Season 1 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="76726" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{otherusesof|Transformers|Transformers}}
'''''[[w:Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime]]''''' is one of several animated television series featuring the [[w:Transformers (toy line)|Transformers toy line]].
{{tv-cleanup|2011-02-06}}

==Season 1==

===Darkness Rising, Part One===

:''[Bumblebee arrives.]''
:'''Jack Darby:''' Friend of yours?
:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]:''' Family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Raf Esquivel:''' What are they?
:'''Jack Darby:''' Talking cars that turn into robots. Or the other way around.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
 
:'''Raf''': So, if you guys are robots, who made you...?
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Ugh! Puh-leez... 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 

:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': We are autonomous robotic organisms, from the planet Cybertron...
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Decepticons! I have returned.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 2===
:''[To the newly returned Megatron.]''
:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Then, as your humble servant, shall I ready the space bridge to bring forth the Decepticon army you have ''surely'' gathered during your three years in space?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:''[Megatron has tested the Dark Energon on a deceased Cliffjumper, resulting in an out-of-control zombie.]''
:'''Starscream''': THAT'S YOUR PLAN?!! BRING AUTOBOTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO ATTACK US?!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Ratchet is arguing against keeping the humans at the base.]''
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers_Prime|Ratchet]]''': They have no protective shell! If they get underfoot, they will go...squish.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Bulkhead_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Bulkhead]]''': Team Prime knows when to use force, and how much to use!
:''[Bulkhead crushes a tool in his fist]''
:'''Ratchet''': Bulkhead, I ''NEEDED'' THAT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Megatron studies the Dark Energon.]''
:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Blood of Unicron, how I might fathom the depths of your mystery, become worthy of wielding your astonishing power!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Miko Nakadai''': Robots who get dizzy?
:'''Raf Esquivel''': Robots with emotions....
:'''Jack Darby''': Robots...who can ''die''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Jack Darby''': Well, if I don't call my mom, like, now, I'm pretty sure the cops will be out looking for me.
:'''Optimus Prime''': Have you broken a law?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]''': Grab your helmet, it's go time.
:'''Jack Darby''': Aww, it's ''Saturday''!
:'''Arcee''': You can watch cartoons back at base with Bumblebee.
:'''Jack Darby''': Tchh. Cartoons? I'm sixteen. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 3===
&quot;I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot; 

—Ratchet's tools suffer further abuse... from one of his already abused tools. 


&quot;I fear that when our master reached for the stars, he came down with a touch of... space madness.&quot; 

—Starscream, ever ready to undermine Megatron. 


&quot;Besides, Ratchet hasn't been in the field since the war.&quot;
&quot;My pistons may be rusty, but my hearing is sharp as ever!&quot; 

—Arcee, on Ratchet's current military qualifications. 


&quot;Rise my army! Behold! &lt;big&gt;'''''The Power of DARK ENERGON!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;

—Megatron raising the dead

===Darkness Rising, Part 4===

&quot;Megatron has desecrated the resting place of our fallen ancestors... and his own!&quot;
&quot;Not even the dead are free from his war-mongering.&quot; 

—Ratchet states the obvious in a slightly novel way while Optimus rues the depth of Megatron's evil. 


&quot;I wouldn't.&quot;
&quot;Oh, but I ''might''...&quot; 

—Arcee threatens Starscream, who doesn't feel very threatened. 


&quot;I like pie. Can we stop for pie?&quot;

&quot;You found Fowler! ROCK ON!&quot; 

—Delerious Fowler and Miko.


&quot;No point in long good-byes. Here's the door.&quot; 

—Ratchet fights back the tears as Jack prepares to leave.


&quot;I ordered you to await my command! Instead, your mindless agenda resulted in the disabling of my ship, and the delay of my plans!&quot;
&quot;My intentions were pure, master. I only wanted you to be rid of Optimus—&quot;''(Megatron slams his foot on Starscream's face)''
&quot;NO ONE RIDS ME OF OPTIMUS PRIME BUT ''ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! ''DO YOU?!''&quot;
''(Choking)'' &quot;Lord Megatron, I will make things right, I swear! I know how to set your plans back on course...!&quot;
''(Megatron picks him up by the throat)''
&quot;Explain, Starscream. '''''Quickly'''''.&quot;

—Megatron raging, Starscream groveling.


&quot;I've been raised to be responsible. To my schoolwork, to my mom, my job.&quot; 

—The Spectacular Jack Darby


&quot;Optimus, these are engineering specs for a space-time vortex generator.&quot;
&quot;Megatron is building a space-bridge. If he hasn't already.&quot;
&quot;The sooner he leaves, the better.&quot;
&quot;Bulkhead, a space-bridge runs in two directions. Megatron may not be trying to ''leave'' Earth, but to bring through his conquering army.&quot;
&quot;The ''main event'' Megatron referred to? But the only place Megatron could possibly recruit that many fallen warriors...&quot;
&quot;Precisely...CYBERTRON.&quot;

-The Autobots have a sudden realization.

===Darkness Rising, Part Five===
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Optimus, if you leave me stranded on a planet teeming with humans, I will never forgive you. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Optimus Prime never disappoints. Unlike YOU, Starscream!  
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Surely, Lord Megatron, the Autobots are up to something.
:'''Megatron''': ''[sarcastically]'' Really, Starscream?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Megatron''': Ah...misdirection Optimus. You would've made a fine Decepticon.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I ''chose'' my side.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[With the destruction of his space bridge approaching, Megatron turns to find his forces retreating.]''
:'''Megatron''': Starscream! Where is my ship?!
:'''Starscream''': We would never make it, Lord Megatron! Don't be a fool! ''Take flight and retreat!!''
&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Starscream is delivering Megatron's eulogy.]''
:'''Starscream''': Decepticons, it is with deep sorrow that I note for the log... Megatron's spark has been extinguished... All. Hail. Starscream.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;

:'''Optimus Prime''': Without a means of leaving this world, we Autobots take strength in the bonds we have forged with our three young friends - true warriors. If not in body, then in spirit. My name is Optimus Prime, and I send this message. Though we did not choose to be of Earth, it would seem that we are here to stay. If you approach this planet with hostile intent, know this: We will defend ourselves. We will defend humanity. We will defend... our home.

=== Masters and Students===

:'''Vechicon Soldier''': If we failed to conquer Earth under Lord Megatron's command, what hope do we have now while the Autobots still defend it?
:'''Starscream''': ''[growls]'' Allow me to be crystal clear: I studied for millennia under our former master, thus I am equipped to lead you. I, Megatron's true heir - Lord Starscream, ''EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION!''
:''[Vehicons begin to murmur]''
:'''Starscream''': ''[snarls and storms out in frustration]'' What use are troops who can't rise to the task of inflicting unspeakable destruction in my name?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Arcee:''' Maybe it needs one of these doohickeys... ''[Holds up a part]''
:'''Jack:''' You're a motorcycle, Arcee. Shouldn't you know how to build a motorcycle engine?
:'''Arcee:''' You're a human, Jack. Can you build me a small intestine? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream:''' Awaken, warrior. Rise and serve your new master!
:'''Skyquake:''' Skyquake serves only ''one'' master.
:'''Starscream:''' Excellent. Your loyalty and devotion will set a fine example for the troops. No need to be timid, Skyquake - you may bow.
:'''Skyquake:''' You fail to grasp my meaning. I am here on a mission, assigned to me by my one master: Megatron.
:'''Starscream:''' Yes...him. Sadly, Megatron is...no longer with us.
:'''Skyquake:''' Impossible!
:'''Starscream:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Why is this ''so difficult'' for everyone to accept?! Skyquake, ''I'' located you. ''I'' awakened you. Thus ''I'', Lord Starscream, am now your master!!!
:''[Skyquake growls and glares down at him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Skyquake''': ''[After scanning a jet mode]'' Air superiority achieved!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[Starscream yanks a shard of Dark Energon from Megatron's chest.]''
:'''Starscream''': And this time...STAY DEAD!

===Scrapheap===

:'''Raf Esquivel''': The Arctic? I've always wanted to see snow.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I would invite you to join, Rafael, but the conditions are much too extreme, even for we Autobots.
:'''Raf Esquivel''': I understand...
:''Optimus starts to leave, then pauses.''
:'''Optimus Prime''': But, I will bring you back a snowball.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&quot;Bulkhead, you never run.&quot; 
&quot;Miko, you haven't seen a swarm of these things devour a bot. I have. They pick you apart from the inside out, going for the small juicy bits first, fuse by fuse, circuit by circuit, 'til there's nothing left, and I mean nothing... not even your optics.&quot; 

—Miko gets some nightmare fuel from Bulkhead. 


&quot;I get to be your bodyguard for once. How cool is that?!&quot;
&quot;Raf found the first one here, right?&quot;
''(Lights turn off for a second followed by Bulkhead's scream)''
&quot;Did you just scream like a little girl?&quot;
&quot;No! ...Maybe... Can we talk about this later?&quot; 

—Miko and Bulkhead searching, and a more hilarious reversal of roles cannot be found. 


&quot;What do you suggest? Wait, how about a game? Let's play 'Who Screwed Things Up Back at Base'.&quot;
&quot;Our predicament could be the result of a simple malfunction.&quot;
&quot;Caused by Bulkhead.&quot; 

—Arcee and Optimus prove that when things go wrong, blame it on Bulkhead. 


&quot;Bulkhead may be...too large for this world. But his inner strength is without bounds. One should not be measured by size alone.&quot; 

—Optimus gives us a life lesson while finding a nice way to call Bulkhead fat. 


&quot;Ready for the main course? Come and get it!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, king of one-liners. 


&quot;I'd invite you in, but the place is a mess.&quot; 

—Seriously, give Bulkhead a crown. 


&quot;We're just fortunate that this infestation happened...on a Saturday.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds there's an upside to having human companions.

===Con Job===
&quot;Do you not see that you are vastly outnumbered?&quot;
&quot;I see fellas who might vastly enjoy watching me pound some dents into you.&quot; 

—Starscream and Wheeljack 


&quot;I'm still picking shrapnel out of my backside!&quot; 
&quot;I'm not surprised, given the size of your backside.&quot; 

—Bulkhead reminisces, Arcee zings. 


&quot;If anything happens to my favourite Wrecker, I'm coming after you!&quot; 

—Wheeljack tells Miko to take good care of his best bud for him.

===Convoy===
&quot;Ah-ah, no need, Agent Fowler. I will handle the driving.&quot;
&quot;It's going to be a long trip.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime lets Agent Fowler in on his no-touch policy. 


&quot;Gentlemen, stop their engines.&quot; 

—Silas 


&quot;Is that so? Tell me, Si, what's the market price for a D.N.G.S. these days?&quot;
&quot;What makes you think we intend to sell it, Agent Fowler?&quot; 

—Agent Fowler and Silas discussing the value of Fowler's Dingus. 


&quot;After a long road trip, feels good to get out of the car, stretch my legs, and kick some tailpipe!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, the reigning king of one-liners. 


&quot;You want me to not only bridge you into a confined space, but one traveling at 90 miles per hour? I can't even count the number of things that can go wrong. Mass displacement trauma, twisted limbs, metal burn! Well, maybe not the last one.&quot; 

—Overly attached Ratchet to Jack, Miko and Raf 


&quot;First rule of combat: Never leave the enemy with the spoils.&quot; 

—Silas

===Deus ex Machina===
&quot;Miko, listen. If you fail high school, you can't go to—uh...uni...kesa...colls...w-wait, what's that word again?&quot;
&quot;Uh, 'college'?&quot; 

—Bulkhead tries to give Miko a lecture on academia. 


&quot;Look Miko, before I became a warrior I was a laborer, construction. I can build stuff, I can break stuff, and that's it.&quot;
&quot;I love breaking stuff! I wanna be just like you, Bulk.&quot;
&quot;Aaargh...why would you wanna be like me, when you can be a medic like Ratchet?&quot; 

—Bulkhead fails to convince Miko regarding the benefits of education. 


&quot;It's about time, Knock Out. I do not enjoy being kept waiting!&quot;
&quot;Ah, it was a long drive, Starscream. I'm still picking bugs out of my grille.&quot;
&quot;Yes, right, you're one of those.&quot;
&quot;Come again?&quot;
&quot;Never understood why any self-respecting Decepticon would choose 'automobile' as his vehicle mode when he could have flight!&quot;
&quot;I like the way I look in steel-belted radials.&quot; 

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss an infraction of the norm. 


&quot;We have a history.&quot;
&quot;(chuckles) And you have a pet. Does it play catch?&quot; 

—Bulkhead and Breakdown, just before the latter throws a giant stone pillar at Miko.


&quot;We're already trespassers and thieves. Why not add forgery to the list?&quot; 

—Jack Darby, master of logic.


&quot;Wait! What are you doing?!&quot;
&quot;What I do best: ''(grabs Energon Harvester)'' Breaking things!&quot; ''(punches Starscream)'' 

—Starscream is no match for Bulkhead's sheer awesomeness. 


&quot;He's a glutton for punishment.&quot;
''(Autobots arrive)''
&quot;Fight?&quot;
&quot;Mmm, drive.&quot; 

—Knockout and Breakdown are prevented from killing Bulkhead.

===Speed Metal===

&quot;Winning isn't enough, Jack. You want to make him ''cry.''&quot;

—Arcee explains her method of getting even. 


&quot;You have been street racing among the humans again, haven't you?&quot;
&quot;I'm not only an automobile, I'm an automobile enthusiast.&quot;
&quot;I DO strive to run a tight ship, Knock Out. I would strongly suggest that you seek my permission next time you decide to disappear on one of your little...jaunts.&quot;
&quot;No worries, Herr Kommandant.&quot;
&quot;It is 'Lord' to you.&quot;
&quot;Only if Megatron takes a nosedive.&quot;
&quot;Hhhnnn. The day our master emerges from stasis, I will graciously relinquish the title. But I believe that outcome is unlikely. Something to do with the quality of medical care around here. So continue buffing. We do want Megatron looking his best for the memorial.&quot;
''(Starscream leaves the room.)''
&quot;Buff ''this.''&quot;

—Knock Out and Starscream don't exactly see eye-to-eye. 


Arcee: Have you guys seen Jack?
Miko: ...not since...we last saw him.
Arcee: They're racing, aren't they?
Raf: Just this once.
Arcee: Did you know about this?
Bulkhead: No. Maybe. A little.

—No one on Team Prime can lie. 


&quot;'Bee, do not engage. Your first priority is to keep Jack safe. [murmurs] Until I get my hands on him.&quot;

—Arcee is a scary guardian. 


Raf: We should just tell Optimus the truth.
Miko: Absolutely not! We made a deal. Just act completely normal.
Optimus: Raf, Miko, do either of you know where the others have gone?
Miko: ''(innocently)'' Why, no, sir. We do not know.
Raf: ''(stiffly)'' Miko is correct. We do not know.
Miko: Why would ''we'' know?
Optimus: ''(raises an eyebrow)'' Hmm.

—Seriously, it's a minor miracle the kids haven't blown their cover with their parents yet. 


&quot;Do you know how hard that is to replace?!&quot;

—Knock Out loses a door to Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Knock Out! Was I not clear?! You have defied my orders yet again!&quot;
&quot;My mistake, Commander Starscream. But, I've learned my lesson, and paid the price...&quot;
&quot;It. Is. ''LOOOORD!'' And you have paid, when I ''say'' you have paid. Do not worry, your punishment shall be merely... cosmetic.&quot;
''(Starscream extends a razor-sharp finger)''
&quot;No... Not the finish! ''Anything'' but the finish! ''NOOOOOOOOOO!''&quot;

—''Lord'' Starscream reminds Knock Out where he stands.

===Predatory===
&quot;I may not have stinger-proof metal skin, Arcee, but in a pinch, I can use my multi-function pocket knife and magnesium fire-starter to cook up some freeze-dried mac and cheese.&quot;

—Jack subtly plants a Chekhov's gun. 


&quot;Partners don't ditch partners. &quot;
&quot;Get this straight, you're ''not'' my partner, you're a ''liability''!&quot;
&quot;I don't believe you! I can see it in your eyes: you're afraid, Arcee. And you're ''never'' afraid.&quot;

—Jack calls Arcee's bluff.


&quot;These days, I travel solo in pursuit of my new hobby.&quot;
&quot;I got a look at your souvenir case.&quot;
&quot;You mean my trophies. I collect endangered species. Of course, they aren't really endangered...until they meet me.&quot;

—Airachnid shares her favorite pastime with Arcee. 


&quot;So much for closure.&quot;

—Arcee is annoyed as Airachnid gets away.

===Sick Mind===
&quot;Is he displaying brain wave activity?&quot;
&quot;Spiking hard. His sick mind's still at work.&quot;

- Arcee namedrops the title. 


&quot;I will NOT allow Optimus to pass knowing that Megatron will outlive him!&quot;

- Ratchet, increasingly desperate to save Optimus. 


&quot;An inglorious fate that he should remain in this vegatative state...&quot;

- Starscream composes poetry about Megatron. Sound familiar? 


&quot;If this is my subconsious...''WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY HEAD?!''&quot;

-Megatron unintentionally makes us laugh.


&quot;You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.&quot;

- Starscream to Knock-Out, who evidentally doesn't remember what happened the last time Starscream's claws got close to him. 


&quot;Speak now, or forever hold your peace.&quot;

- Starscream to Soundwave as the former is about to take Megatron off life support. And Soundwave STILL won't say a word. 


&quot;I'm out... or should I say, in?&quot;

- Megatron cackles as he awakes in Bumblebee's body.

===Out of His Head===
&quot;Lucky for us Megatron was still alive. 
&lt;Bumblebee beeps&gt;
&quot;Yeah, I actually said that.&quot; 

—Arcee surprising us all. 


&quot;Hm, hm. Yes, very nice.&quot; 

—Ratchet is unimpressed with Raf's picture of his family. 


&quot;Yes! I love when a plan comes together!&quot; 

—Starscream, fan of the A-Team. 


&quot;Decepticons! Your rightful lord and master has returned!&quot; 

—Megatron reawakens. 


&quot;Megatron's greatest mistake was ever allowing you to live, Prime!&quot; 

—Starscream, a few seconds before Megatron shows up. 


&quot;Lord Megatron? You...are...you're healed! Praise the Allspark! It is a miracle!&quot;
&quot;Oh, it will be a miracle all right, Starscream, if you survive what I have planned for you!

—Starscream discovers that Megatron doesn't tolerate traitors anymore. 


&quot;But the Autobots! Optimus! Right there, waiting for you!&quot;
&quot;My greatest mistake? I've made a few. But there is one I do NOT intend to make again!&quot;

—A desperate Starscream and a surprisingly self-aware Megatron.

===Shadowzone===
&quot;You cannot harm me while Dark Energon flows through my veins!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''', seconds before Optimus blows his arm off.


&quot;I can't see without my glasses!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What are you, ninety?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Not. Helping!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;[sighs] I'll get them!&quot;
:—A glasses-less '''Raf''', a jerky '''Miko''', and a frustrated '''Jack'''.

&quot;Uhhh, Starscream, I don't quite understand how this could have happened...&quot;
&quot;And yet, it DID! Can you imagine my horror, there I am, minding my own business,  when my arm just FALLS OFF! Clearly Megatron inflicted more damage upon me than you realized...DOCTOR...&quot;

—Starscream feeds Knock Out a string of completely unbelievable lies.


&quot;How can a zombie arm move faster than the actual zombie?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't know, Miko. Must re-animated itself.&quot;

:—That's a very good question, '''Miko'''. And a good answer from '''Raf'''.


&quot;Look what I found in storage- What are you doing?&quot;
&quot;You were right, Knock Out! I'm much too attached to my original appendage. I will retrieve it.&quot;

:—Knock Out is confused when Starscream suddenly changes his mind.

&quot;Ratchet, can we triangulate the geographical position of the cell phone signal?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''In a parallel dimensional plane?!''... Let's find out.&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' poses a challenge for '''Ratchet '''.

&quot;Look, if you're going to blame anybody, blame me.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I'm sorry, could you repeat that? ...a couple dozen times?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;That's a lot of owning up.&quot;

:— '''Miko''' owns up, while '''Jack''' makes it clear he's still ticked off. And '''Ratchet''' is about to blow his top.

===Operation: Breakdown===
&quot;As much as I'll miss our little reunions... ''hammer time''.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown''' before being captured by MECH

&quot;It's a trap!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Would this be a 'roll out' kind of trap?&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' ackbars and '''Arcee''' continues to be genre savvy.


&quot;'Marco!' You're supposed to say 'Polo!'&quot;

:—'''Bulkhead''' plays with MECH.


&quot;Never run when you can fight.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown'''

&quot;One day, you will repay your debt to me, Breakdown... the day it comes time to choose sides.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
“Huh... between ‘Bots and ‘Cons?”&lt;br&gt;
“Between myself – and Megatron.”
:—'''Starscream''' informs a confused '''Breakdown''' of his plans for the future.

===Crisscross===

&quot;Ah, the mother lode.&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Government database?&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Social networking page.&quot;

:—'''Silas''' teaches '''Airachnid''' the fastest way to track down a teenager.


&quot;Now, I know we promised the spider-bot that she would have first crack at you, but something tells me she's going to turn our mutual crisscross... into a double-cross.&quot;
:—'''Silas'''


&quot;Jack, your motorcycle?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;I can explain, Mom. Wait, I already did.&quot;
:—Even with '''June Darby''' in mortal peril, '''Jack''' can still crack wise. 


&quot;Oh, not again!&quot;
:—'''Agent Fowler''' is exasperated at Decepticons copying his vehicles.


&quot;So that's how it's done.  Genius.&quot;
:—'''Silas''' on seeing how Airachnid scans a vehicle mode.


&quot;Mom, meet my science fiction club!&quot;
:—'''Jack''' introducing June to the Autobots

===Metal Attraction===
&quot;Allow me to redeem myself, master. What I have lost...is a constant reminder that I must never again fail you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' rather darkly references his new eyepatch.


&quot;I heard a rumour about a rogue 'Con. How about I hogtie you and haul you in?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' has no sympathy for those who disrespect Megatron's rule.


&quot;Where's Arcee?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Let's just say she's got your back.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Scrap.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—A confused Bulkhead, a sarcastic Miko, and an annoyed Arcee.


&quot;Still up for a truce, muscles?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Only because I hate Bulkhead more than I hate you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Airachnid''' and '''Breakdown''' decide to look at the bigger picture.


&quot;Wanna dance?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You're not my type.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Bulkhead''' and '''Airachnid''' exchange words before they go toe to toe.


&quot;Arcee, I think I owe you an apology.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You do?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I worry...especially when I feel like I can't control things—which, with a teenager, is all the time.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''June''' admits the troubles of being a single mother to '''Arcee'''.


'''Megatron''': Breakdown, you dare to return empty-handed?!&lt;br&gt;
'''Breakdown''': No, Master.&lt;br&gt;
''[Turns around, revealing Airachnid magnetized to his back]''&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Airachnid...it has been some time.&lt;br&gt;
'''Airachnid''': Lord Megatron...what can I say? It's good to be back.&lt;br&gt;
:—It would seem the Autobots have a new problem to deal with...

===Rock Bottom===
&quot;Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to see Slash Monkey?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uhh—&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''Forever!'' And it's their only U.S. date!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well, there's a shock. I mean, who doesn't love obscure Bulgarian shriek metal?&quot;
:—'''Miko''' and '''Jack''' discuss rock concerts.


&quot;She went in. Unbelievable.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Really? Have you...met her?&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' and '''Jack''' watch Miko run into the cave.


&quot;DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, STARSCREAM! I have been wise to your transgressions from the beginning. Not only did you pluck the Dark Energon from my chest in a failed attempt to snuff my spark, but you tried to raise yourself own undead warrior with it. It's no secret that you lost an arm in the process, which you've since had replaced.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You know about that?!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' and '''Starscream''' discuss the latter's endeavors.


&quot;You have ceased to be of use to me, Starscream...so you shall simply cease to be.&quot;

:—'''Megatron''', with possibly the most hardcore one-liner he's ever delivered.


&quot;Roll out.&quot;

:—'''Jack''' being genre savvy as he activates some Decepticon mining equipment.


''(In front of a collapsed mine, which Megatron was in)''
&quot;Heh heh...Haahahahaha! &quot;Predictable&quot;, ''master?'' Is that what you called me? Well, now who has hit ''rock bottom''? ...What's that? I'm sorry. I can't hear you beneath all that ''rubble''. Hahahahahaaa! Farewell, ''Lord'' Megatron! May you RUST IN PEACE!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' monologues a little, thinking Megatron is dead.


&quot;Well, what are you waiting for? Think of the glory, seize the day! Optimus would.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No, he wouldn't. Not like this.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I will be sure to share the details of our little conversation with Optimus, the day I rip out his spark!&quot;
:—A pinned '''Megatron''' is discovered by '''Jack''', who refuses to take advantage of the situation and kill him.


&quot;If you think I'm going to beg for mercy, Starscream, forget it!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Er, yes, begging for mercy would be quite pathetic, wouldn't it?&quot;
:—'''Bulkhead''' unintentionally insults '''Starscream'''.


'''Starscream:''' &quot; MASTER! PLEASE! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I BEG OF YOU!&quot;


'''Starscream:''' &quot;Master! You're alive! Thank the Allspark! &lt;i&gt;[ Megatron glares at Starscream ]&lt;/i&gt; I did not abandon you, master! I returned! To save you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron:''' &quot;Save me?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Starscream:''' &lt;i&gt;[ scared ]&lt;/i&gt; &quot;Look into my spark, Lord Megatron! My intentions were true! PLEASE! ''HAVE MERCY!!''&quot;

===Partners===
&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. I now realize I was never destined to be leader, or even an equal partner. And, I am at peace with that. I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Of who I was always meant to be. STARSCREAM: second in command, humble servant to Lord Megatron. Thank you for listening, Soundwave.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' speaks before Soundwave. Like talking to a brick wall.


&quot;Hey partner, heck of a view you got up here. If there's even a small chance your spark is out there listening, well, we could really use you, Cliff. Seems like everyday another Decepticon arrives on the scene. We're outnumbered and outgunned.  Yeah, I know what you'd say, 'Sounds like a fair fight,' and if that's the world we live in, so be it.  I just want you to know, I haven't given up. I'm going to find the Con who took you from us.&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' visiting Cliffjumper's grave, and foreshadowing all at the same time. Multi-tasking.


&quot;Oh you would do well to respect me, Airachnid. Before I joined Megatron, I was Air Commander of a squadron of Energon Seekers.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;On Cybertron, and how many eons ago was that?&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' tries to be hot, and gets burned by '''Airachnid'''


&quot;Airachnid... what I wouldn't do to get my hands around her wretched throat.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;So we can agree on one thing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Oh, you have no idea. She showed up one day and the next thing you know, she's acting like she runs the place. She whispered lies into Megatron's ear, maneuvered to remove me of my rightful place.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well... she terminated my partner.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What?! She's taking credit for scrapping him now too?! That was my doing!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What? You weren't there.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uh, of course I wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No one. Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Tailgate.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who's Tailgate?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You are the one. You extinguished Cliffjumper!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' and '''Arcee''' compare their stories on Airachnid only for Starscream to let it slip about Cliffjumper. I pity the fool.


&quot;You left Starscream with the Autobots?! Do you have any notion of the consequences of your blunder?!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;But, my lordship! It was Starscream's incompetence that cost us the Immobilizer!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't care about some trinket! My second-in-command is a prisoner of the enemy! Which means all Decepticon intelligence could be at the fingertips of the Autobots!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' rages while '''Airachnid''' watches her chances of being his new BFF vanish.


&quot;It is the external wounds which heal the quickest.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I thought settling scores would allow me to move on... instead I chased away our hope of winning this war anytime soon.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Wisdom cannot be granted, Arcee. It must be earned, sometimes at a cost.&quot;
:—'''Optimus Prime''' and '''Arcee''' on being the better 'bot.


&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Starscream: aligned with no side; servant, to no one.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' goes rogue on us.

===TMI===
Bulkhead: Hey, Ratch, check out the monster truck rally Miko took me to last week.
Miko: I compiled some highlights with my cellphone.
Ratchet: Innocent vehicles battling for the entertainment of human spectators? (shudders) Bloodsport!
Bulkhead and Miko: Yeah! 

—Ratchet disapproves of Bulkhead and Miko's taste in sports. 


&quot;Come to papa.&quot;
(Bulkhead knocks him away) &quot;Run to mommy!&quot;
(Breakdown grabs Bulkhead from behind) &quot;Say uncle! Say it!&quot;

—Knock Out, Bulkhead, and Breakdown continue with humorous mid-battle banter. 


&quot;How about our Sunday morning dune-bashings? Rocking out to Slash Monkey? Helping me with my homework? Trick question! You know I don't do homework...don't you?&quot;

—Miko is at least more subtle in her remember-who-you are monologue than Raf was. 


&quot;You...painted my paint job! Prepare for surgery!&quot;

—Knock Out really needs to sort out his priorities. 


&quot;Because the energy took Bulkhead's mind with it. Heavenward. Lost to the stars. It's my fault you'll never know the rest of the formula, and it's my fault Bulkhead's gone forever.&quot; 

—Miko pulls an Optimus on us.


===Stronger, Faster===

&quot;HOOAH!&quot;

—Ratchet gets a new catchphrase. He needed that. 


Ratchet: ''(clicks as he walks by)'' How's it hummin'?
Arcee: ... Did he just?
Bulkhead: Stronger... faster... studlier. 

—Yeah, he did. 


&quot;It's all right, I'm an emergency vehicle!&quot; [transforms]

—Ratchet, engaging the Decepticons, threatening the title holder of King of One-liners


&quot;You know your problem, Optimus? For such a big, strong 'Bot...you're SOFT. You didn't pound Megatron into scrap when you had the chance! Many chances, in fact!!&quot; 

—Ratchet under the influence of Synth-En, getting a little too close to the truth.


&quot;Yeah, she's kinda domineering and the extra arms are weird, but... I find myself intrigued by her.&quot; 

—Breakdown chats to a Vehicon about Airachnid.


''(Megatron twists Ratchet's arm, and he cries out in pain)''
&quot;Ratchet ''is'' a bit more spirited than I recollect...&quot;
&quot;Chemical enhancement, perhaps?&quot;
''(Megatron savagely rips Ratchet's chest open, causing him to bleed Synth-En. He slams Ratchet to the ground.)''
&quot;There's your laboratory sample, ''doctor''. Find out.&quot;

—Megatron talking to Knock Out, apparently forgetting that this is a kids' show.

===One Shall Fall===
&quot;And it was written in the Covenant of Primus that 'when the forty-seven spheres align, a perpetual conflict will culminate upon a world forged from chaos and the weak shall perish in the shadow of a rising darkness.'&quot; 

-Optimus Prime recites a passage of ill tidings. 

Arcee: &quot;No 'sky is raining fire'?&quot;
Ratchet: &quot;Goes without saying. It is a doom prophecy, after all.&quot;
Bulkhead: &quot;I say it's a load of hooey.&quot; 

-The Autobots' reaction to the above passage. 


&quot;Um, Optimus! You wanna see something funny?&quot;
&quot;No.&quot; 

—Jack learns of Optimus Prime's minimal sense of humor. 

&quot;Agent Fowler, I fear that Megatron's desperation may be at its zenith, and you know that I cannot condone a single human casualty.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime encourages Fowler to leave defense of the US base to the Autobots (and provides a hint of foreshadowing). 


&quot;It would seem I swatted a bee and squashed a bug.&quot; 

—Megatron, who is being a jerk. 


&quot;Does he seem to be... 'losing it'?&quot;
&quot;A bit...&quot; 

—Knock Out and Airachnid discuss Megatron's state of mind. 


&quot;Curse my Cybertronian pride! We've welcomed these humans into our lives, yet I bothered to learn so little of their science, or medicine.&quot; 

-Ratchet panics over his inability to help Raf. 


&quot;I have been foolish not to see what history has proven over and over again: that Autobots and Decepticons will never mend their ways. If there can be no diplomatic solution to this perpetual conflict, then I must not allow more darkness to fall upon this or any planet. Megatron must be destroyed!&quot; 

—It's about slaggin' time, Optimus Prime. 


&quot;I have come for Megatron, and him alone. Stand down and be spared.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime is on the warpath. Primus help us all. 


&quot;Megatron! I am here, on your ship! Come and FACE ME!&quot;

—Optimus hailing Megatron, ''using the wrist communicator of a dead Vehicon.'' Dude is ''hardcore.''


&quot;Megatron, today you answer for your crimes against Cybertron and against humanity. One shall stand...&quot;
&quot;And one shall fall. ''You'', Optimus Prime!&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Megatron, who has heard this speech before. 


&quot;Your defeat was foreseen here by the ancients. What was it they wrote? 'The weak shall perish?'&quot;
&quot;Do not believe everything you read.&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus Prime, unusually philosophical in the middle of a death-match.

===One Shall Rise part 1===
&quot;The ‘Cons killed a unicorn?&quot; ''(Awkward silence)'' &quot;White horse with a horn on its head... prances around all sparkly?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' sure knows how to lighten the mood.


'''Optimus''': June, it deeply grieves me that I have failed. But I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to our human friends – or any human – ever again.&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Optimus… they’re children. They do not belong in your world. They should be worrying about grades, prom dates, pimples – not their own survival!&lt;br&gt;
:-A spark-to-heart in which '''Optimus''' and '''June''' don't quite see eye to optic.


'''Miko''': Do you really expect me to get into a non-transforming vehicle?&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Miko, I’m serious.&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': You’re not my mother.&lt;br&gt;
'''Bulkhead''': Miko…&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': Neither are you!&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' asserts her independence - again.


&quot;...I awaken...&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Unicron''', bringing all the sinister foreboding you'll ever need.


&quot;Before the beginning... there was Primus. And, there was Unicron. One, the incarnation of creation – the other... of destruction. For eons; Primus and Unicron battled, the balance of power shifting between them more times than could be counted. Only by creating the Thirteen – the original Primes who preceded me – was Primus finally able to defeat Unicron, and cast him out. Primus became one with the very core of our planet, creating life through the Well of All Sparks, while Unicron was never to be heard from again... until now.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Optimus Prime''' tells the tale.


'''Megatron''': I feel your presence, share your very spark! I call upon you as my lord and master, oh mighty Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': ''[Rising]'' WHO DARES?&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Your servant most humble. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and the wielder of the Dark Energon which binds us. To awaken you once again. The prophecy has been fulfilled. It is only the beginning of what we shall accomplish together. For you shall rule this planet, and those who walk upon it through me.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': PRIDEFUL FOOL. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOURSELF CAPABLE OF SUMMONING MY LIFE-FORCE. I RISE BECAUSE I HAVE DEEMED IT MY TIME.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Master, I did not mean to overstep...&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': SILENCE, WORM. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR LOWLY ASSISSTANCE.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Please, my lord, I exist only to serve you.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': WHAT IS THIS I SENSE? THE TAINT OF PRIMUS? HERE?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': That is Optimus, the last of the Primes; our sworn enemy.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': YOU PROFESS LOYALTY TO ME, YET ALLOW A DISCIPLE OF PRIMUS TO LIVE?!?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': I will destroy him for you! His screams shall be heard--&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': I GROW WEARY OF YOUR PRATTLE. SURELY IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO DESTROY THIS PRIME, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. ''I'' WILL DEAL WITH HIM MYSELF.&lt;br&gt; 
:-Confronting '''Unicron''' himself, '''Megatron''' starts to feel a little like Starscream.


'''Optimus''': I humbly request your ear, Lord Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': And what would a Prime be so compelled to say to me?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': I make this appeal not for myself, but for this planet which you constitute – and the beings that inhabit it. Humankind relies upon you; for life, sustenance. Your resurrection will only result in the destruction of a species which evolved from the seeds of your very greatness.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': So this humankind of whom you speak… you consider them my progeny?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': Indeed.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': Parasites! They, too, shall know my wrathful hand – once I am finished with you!&lt;br&gt;
:-Nice try, '''Optimus''', but '''Unicron''' has never been much of a people person.


'''Unicron''': The line of Primes has grown weak in my absence. And thus, you shall fall!&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': That outcome is inevitable… but not on this day!&lt;br&gt;
(Optimus shoots the golem until it breaks. Several more then form from the surrounding rock.)&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron golems''': Yes, disciple of Primus… on this very day. For Unicron may be one… but we all are Unicron!&lt;br&gt;

===One Shall Rise part 2===
&quot;Optimus! Have you uncovered any further sign of Unicron's emergence?&quot;
&quot;Unicron is power incarnate, and you, the last of the Primes, shall perish!&quot;
&quot;I take that as a yes.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds out that Unicron has awakened 


&quot;It is rather ironic, considering our last encounter. If memory serves, you were desperately attempting to extinguish my spark.&quot;
&quot;That option remains very much in play.&quot;
&quot;I would expect nothing less!&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus talk about the good times. 


''(GroundBridge opens up next to Bulkhead, Arcee, and Bumblebee)''
&quot;Wait. We're opening up a direct path into our base with Megatron standing right there?!&quot;
&quot;And seriously, he's gonna risk his own spark to save us?&quot;
&quot;''(Laughter)'' Hardly my nature!&quot; 

—Arcee and Bulkhead doubt Megatron's motives, which he finds amusing. 


&quot;It appears our leader has abandoned us while this world erupts in chaos. I believe we must consider the possibility of a future without Megatron.&quot; 

—Airachnid fills the quota for scheming in Starscream's absence. 


&quot;So this is where the magic happens. Quaint.&quot; 

—Megatron enters the Autobot base.

===One Shall Rise part 3===
Raf: Megatron was an Autobot?
Miko:Optimus was a 'Con!?
Rachet: No, on either count. 

– The kids get confused while Ratchet gets ready to tell a tale. 


&quot;Watch out for the quiet ones…&quot; 

—Knock Out after witnessing Soundwave &quot;veto&quot; Airachnid's motion to leave Earth. 


'''Unicron''': Megatron! Destroy the Prime! I command you!
'''Megatron''': Megatron is commanded by NO ONE! Aaaaaargh!! 

– He's not wrong this time. 


Optimus: Where are we Megatronus?
Megatron: ...Don't you remember, old friend? 

– …uh, that was unexpected.

==Season 2==

===Orion Pax part 1===
:'''Megatron''': —and the first to address him as Optimus Prime will have their voice box torn out.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''': Welcome back to the winning team.

===Orion Pax part 2===
&quot;You do not suggest that our leader... would speak falsehoods?&quot;

&quot;Hahahahahaha! You...You truly are being kept in the dark, aren't you?&quot;

—Starscream, upon learning of &quot;Orion's&quot; deception. 


&quot;The Decepticon Space Bridge is located right here, deep within an energon mine.&quot;

&quot;Adjacent to a raw fuel supply, clever. What's our intel?&quot;

&quot;A... reliable source&quot;

—Ratchet talks to Arcee about their tip, without realizing he's calling a Decepticon reliable. 


&quot;Command, this is Space Bridge Control! We are under attack! Command, do you read me?&quot;

''(commlink static)''

''(Bulkhead smashes the Vehicon's face)''

&quot;Shhhh.&quot;

—A Vehicon is reminded of the no talking rule by Ratchet. 


&quot;Thank you, Starscream.&quot;

''(Bulkhead looks at Arcee)''

&quot;Who else would it have been?&quot;

—Arcee's too clever by half. 


&quot;Don't worry, Space Bridging is just like Ground Bridging.&quot;

''(Space Bridge fires up with a loud noise)''


—Arcee tries to ease Jack's nerves about going on the big boy rides. 


&quot;Somebody say something, pronto!&quot;

&quot;Rafael, patch in Agent Fowler.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets exactly what he wants, just not what he expected. 

===Orion Pax part 3===


&quot;Why did it have to be Scraplets?&quot;

—Bulkhead channels Harrison Ford. 


&quot;Why does history portray me siding with the Autobot aggressors? And why did Starscream call me a Prime? I must know...who am I?&quot;

&quot;You are my clerk.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; questions his identity, while Megatron responds with a firm establishment of the pecking order. 


&quot;You will finish Project Iacon by the time I return...or I will carve out your spark before your very EYES.&quot;

—Megatron threatens &quot;Orion Pax&quot;. 


&quot;Hey guys—the main course!&quot;

—Jack directs the Scraplets to their other menu choices. 


&quot;That may be true, or yet another deception, but this much I do know: my sympathies lie with the Autobots, and you are not one of us!&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; to Megatron, realizing the truth. 


&quot;Are you...certain I am worthy?&quot;

&quot;You have no idea.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; and Jack. 


&quot;Megatron—be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime, before delivering the most awesome series of punches in the entire series. 


&quot;This time, he's coming with us!&quot;

—Bulkhead, keeping his crown with one-liners. 


&quot;Optimus, it has truly been our darkest hour, but know this: from every indication your spark never ceased being that of an Autobot.&quot;

—Ratchet

===Operation Bumblebee part 1===
&quot;The new Urbana 500. It won't just rock your world. It will transform it.&quot;

—The commercial narrator hates Bumblebee. 


&quot;You want to ride with the siren on?&quot;

&quot;No, thank you.&quot;

—Ratchet attempts to cheer up Raf. 


&quot;Still don't know how you talked me into this. You're worse than Miko.&quot;

—Bulkhead on Bumblebee's persuasiveness. 


&quot;Bumblebee, where's your famous horsepower? Show me some speed!&quot;

—Knock Out, unintentionally striking a nerve.

===Operation Bumblebee Part 2===
&quot;You and I both know there exists a way to make him whole again.&quot;

&quot;A transplant. But that would require a donor.&quot;

&quot;You need look no further than the Autobot standing before you.&quot;

—Ratchet tells Optimus Prime that he is willing to make a sacrifice. 


&quot;...I think I leaked a little transmission fluid.&quot;

—Knock Out sums up how intimidating his master truly is. 


&quot;Do you ever not speak?&quot;

—Silas says what we're all thinking to Starscream. 


&quot;Mine's bigger!&quot;

—Bulkhead compares hammers with Breakdown. 


&quot;Time to jet! Because I can!&quot;

—Starscream, who really should learn to keep his mouth shut. 


&quot;I am able! Just ask Bantor! He was all mandrill untill I put a tiger in his tank!&quot;

—Delerious Ratchet, spouting random Beast Wars references.

===Loose Cannons===
&quot;Not this again!&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets his vehicle scanned by a 'Con for a third time. 


Wheeljack: You know Wreckers don't call for backup.

Wheeljack and Bulkhead: They call for clean-up!

—The remaining Wreckers provide an alternative to &quot;Wreck and Rule!&quot; 


&quot;I will be quite surprised if we ever set eyes upon Dreadwing again.&quot;

—Megatron putting his faith into his soldier. 


&quot;Sorry, Jackie. It's 'cause I love ya.&quot;

—Bulkhead shows the tough love. 


&quot;Sorry, fishies!&quot;

—Bulkhead runs towards water with a bomb attached.


&quot;So, who do we call for clean-up?&quot;

-Wheeljack being...Wheeljack

===Crossfire===
&quot;I know we've never seen ''eyes-to-eye,'' but that doesn't mean we can't ''patch'' things up.&quot;

—Airachnid baits Breakdown with extra-strength puns. 


&quot;You dare turn your back on a superior life-form? I am Commander Starscream!&quot;

—Starscream using his former position to get others to do what he wants...again. 


&quot;You and your beast would do well to remember—I honed my skills in the pits of Kaon!&quot;

—Megatron reminds all that he is not so easily beaten. 


&quot;Never trust a 'Con. Kick Buckethead's bucket!&quot;

—Bulkhead is dubious of Dreadwing's trustworthiness.


&quot;You disobeyed my orders in following me here. You will make a fine first lieutenant.&quot;

—Megatron might have finally made a good choice for second-in-command.

===Nemesis Prime===

&quot;Yes, that's it. Follow the light.&quot;

&quot;Wait, what? Not the best choice of words, Ratchet.&quot;

—Ratchet and Arcee 


&quot;I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and I bring you this message.&quot;

—Nemesis Prime steals one of Optimus's catchphrases. 


&quot;Be on your guard. My double could be anywhere.&quot;

''(Bumblebee beeps a reply)''

&quot;I'm sorry. What?&quot;

—Nemesis Prime tries and fails to fool Bumblebee. 


&quot;...But the key difference between you and me? ...''my'' body can't feel ''PAIN!''&quot;

—Silas at the controls of Nemesis Prime, right after shoving his blade through Optimus' torso.


&quot;The internal damage to his organs is massive, and beyond the scope of conventional medicine. Fortunately for our leader, MECH is anything but conventional.&quot;

—MECH Surgeon on Silas's future.

===Grill===
&quot;Soldier, too close.&quot;

—Agent Fowler doesn't like close ups of his face 


&quot;Of course, Big Foot and I don't always see eye-to-eye.&quot;

—Agent Fowler summing up his relationship with Bulkhead 


&quot;Arcee may be a bot of few words, but Bumblebee doesn't use any, that we can understand.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describes Arcee's and Bumblebee's communicative (or lack of) skills. 


&quot;General Bryce, Prime is no loose cannon. He's anything but.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describing Prime's mental state - the opposite of Wheeljack's. 


&quot;Defies all logic, Bill. Dark energon? Then you go on record saying that you believe in magical horses with horns on their heads.&quot;

&quot;What?&quot;

&quot;Do you deny previously reporting that Megatron helped defeated a unicorn?&quot;

&quot;Oh? That's what you...? Uni''cron''! The ultimate evil! Permission to strike this from the record.&quot;

—General Bryce makes the second unicron/unicorn joke in 25 years, and Agent Fowler avoids a psychological evaluation. 


Fowler: General Bryce here just needs to confirm the state of your health and welfare.&quot;

Optimus: I am fine, General Bryce. How are you?&quot;

Bryce: I am well, uh, soldier.

—Agent Fowler calls on Optimus Prime, who makes awkward smalltalk with General Bryce.

===Armada===
&quot;This is for Cliffjumper! For Bumblebee! For everything.&quot;

—Bulkhead delivers some much-deserved payback to Starscream. Well, actually his clone, but what's the difference? 


&quot;You left me no choice.&quot;

—Bulkhead pulling an Optimus. At least he didn't rip Starscream's face off.


&quot;My genetic code provides my clones with a T-Cog I no longer possess, and all I get is their agony?!&quot;

—Starscream laments over the side-effects of cloning. 


&quot;Exterminating you was so gratifying the first three times.&quot;

—Megatron approaching the last of Starscream's clones. 


&quot;When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt. You know I would extend that courtesy to you.&quot;

—Airachnid, creepy to the last. 


Bulkhead (rushing inside the Autobot's base): Guys, you are not gonna believe the day I had!

''[Bulkhead spots Airachnid in stasis, then looks at Ratchet and Arcee]''
Bulkhead: Oh, you too, huh?

—It's been a busy day for everyone. 


&quot;I feel your pain. Really I do. ''[Fires missle at his clone]'' AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHH! ''Scrap'', that hurt!&quot;

—Starscream killing the last clone.

===Flying Mind===
&quot;My own vessel dares to address me in threatening tones?!&quot;

-Megatron reacts to the Nemesis' newfound attitude.


&quot;Doc Knock is knocked out!&quot;

—Miko makes the joke we've all been waiting to hear. 


&quot;Say Ahhh!&quot;

—Knock Out's dentistry leaves something to be desired. 


&quot;I'm here to offer a second opinion!&quot;

—Ratchet gives Knock Out the hint that he might want to consider going back to medical school.

===Tunnel Vision===
*&quot;Face.&quot;

—Jack, throughout the episode. 


*&quot;Well, I've actually been in subway stations. I grew in a major metropolis. Unlike Mr. 'I've never been outside of Jasper, Nevada'.&quot;

*&quot;I have been to Cybertron.&quot;

*&quot;Cybertron doesn't have subways! ... Does it?&quot;

—Miko's argument against Jack soon falls short. 


*Knock Out: &quot;You have lovely features. Perfect for a painful little procedure I like call the nip and tuck.&quot;

*Arcee dodges, and kicks Knock Out

*Arcee: &quot;Dodge and kick.&quot;

*Arcee runs for the relic, but gets plugged in the back by Knock Out's prod

*Knock Out: &quot;Shock and drop.&quot;

—Knock Out and Arcee carry on witty repartee. 


*&quot;You scratch my face, I scratch yours!&quot;

*Arcee and Bumblebee cock their blasters*

—Knock Out tries and fails to reference a previous episode. 


*Vogel watches the Autobots and kids leave*

&quot;Robots who turn into vehicles.&quot;

*Vogel turns to look at his sweeper train*

—We've all done it before, Vogel.

===Triangulation===
&quot;Faster, you pathetic excuse for transportation!&quot;

—That's not gonna work, Starscream. 


&quot;What a team we make! I am so glad that you prevailed, Optimus Prime! That wretch Dreadwing was going to terminate me! Now, if you could just remove my bonds, I can lead you straight to the relic.&quot;

''Optimus cocks his blaster''

&quot;You will lead me there regardless.&quot;

&quot;Hmph! You're welcome!&quot;

—An excited Starscream and a totally thankful Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Are we ''really'' going to stand out here in the freezing cold, completely at the mercy of ''human bureaucracy?''&quot;

—Starscream is incredulous at the thought.


&quot;I haven't had this much fun since I punched that hole in Cliffjumper!&quot;

—Starscream really doesn't know when to shut up about that. 


&quot;I will beat the living spark out of you, just so I will never again have to hear you pontificating!&quot;

—Starscream says what he thinks of Optimus Prime's speech pattern. 


''[Evil laugh]'' &quot;That tickled! *Evil laugh* Fools! Not only am I intelligent, I am INVINCIBLE!&quot;

&quot;Yet you cannot fly!&quot;

&quot;Nobody's perfect!&quot;

—Starscream and Optimus Prime, the former enjoying the suit a little too much. 


&quot;Cowards! You will not escape my might! ''[beat]'' Wait... ''[beat]'' You two are up to something!&quot;

—Starscream being genre savvy.

===Triage===
“I'll be sure to be on my best behavior, Doc.&quot;

&quot;Please don't call me 'Doc'.&quot;

&quot;Whatever you say, Sunshine.&quot;

—Wheeljack pulls out a rather unfitting nickname for Ratchet.


&quot;Wait a minute, a grenade inside of Laserbeak, inside of Soundwave? Like a turducken!&quot;

&quot;I'm sorry?&quot;

&quot;It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a... never mind.&quot;

—Raf fails to enlighten Ratchet.


&quot;Any last words?&quot;

&quot;...&quot;

&quot;Right... silent type.&quot;

—Wheeljack remembers only too late that Soundwave ISN'T going to say anything.


(Weakly)&quot;...Doc?&quot;

&quot;Wheeljack, I TOLD you not to call me that!&quot;

&quot;...I'm sorry...&quot;

&quot;...What's wrong? Where are you?&quot;

—Ratchet knows something's wrong when an injured Wheeljack apologizes over the comlink.

===Toxicity===
&quot;I can has cheeseburger!&quot;

— Yes, Agent Fowler actually said that. 


&quot;Leave it to Megatron to send a bug to do his dirty work.&quot;

&quot;You would know a thing or two about dirty work yourself, Wrecker.&quot;

— Bulkhead receives a &quot;right-back-at-you&quot; from Hardshell. 


&quot;Now, you see, the thing about bugs your size: They make a bigger mess when I SMASH 'EM!&quot;

— Bulkhead being true to his wrecking nature.


&quot;Come on soldier, dump that rock and come on home!&quot;

—Fowler coaxes Bulkhead through his grueling mission.

===Hurt===
&quot;Let me guess. You and Raf spend all your drive-time listening to chiptunes.&quot;

&quot;Wraaaaaaaa?&quot;

—Miko and Bumblebee on music. 


(Buffing his paintjob) &quot;Detailing was so much easier when Breakdown was around!&quot;

—Knock Out gives fangirls an inch. 


&quot;Wheeljack. The one who enjoys...explosive devices.&quot;

—Megatron, describing more Wheeljacks than one. 


&quot;Talk during battle is a sign of weakness.&quot;

&quot;Only when you're too primitive to do two things at once.&quot;

—Hardshell and Wheeljack exchange smack talk. 


&quot;I thought I told you to hit autopilot.&quot;

&quot;Bad things happen to bots when I leave their side.&quot;

—Wheeljack shows concern for Miko, who is not entirely wrong. 


&quot;The Autobot did THIS?!&quot;

&quot;No, my lord... it was... a human... girl.&quot;

— Megatron quickly learns that some humans make good on the promises they make.

===Out of the Past===
&quot;So this is Kaon, huh? Love what you Decepticons have done with the place. The ruins are especially picturesque.&quot;

—Cliffjumper.


&quot;Your reasoning is hardly...logical.&quot;

—Shockwave channels Mr. Spock.


&quot;Surrender the encryption code, and I will see to it that you perish quickly.&quot;

''(Arcee mumbles something under her breath)''

&quot;Speak up. I can't hear you when you ''whimper''.&quot;

&quot;...Get. '''Fragged'''.&quot;

—Starscream tries to intimidate Arcee, but all he gets is a scathing Cybertronian expletive. 


&quot;While it often pains me, I do TRY to be a team player.&quot;

—Starscream, telling us what we already know.


&quot;Funny. At first I didn't think I'd ever get used to Cliff's constant chatter. Now...there's nothing louder to me than the silence.&quot;

—Arcee mourns her fallen partner.

===New Recruit===
&quot;The tap-dancing monkey strikes again!&quot;

—Jack on Raf's latest anti-Bumblebee-sighting hack. 


&quot;Puh-lease! Isn't having three humans here enough?!&quot;

-Ratchet finally speaks his mind on Jack, Miko and Raf.


&quot;All these Cons came out of one pod?&quot;

&quot;Humans refer to the phenomenon as a 'clown car'!&quot;

—Arcee asks a question, and Ratchet offers an explanation. 


Miko: What's your story, Smoke? Where did you come from? How did you get here? How many blasters are you packing?

Smokescreen: So these are the lifeforms we're supposed to protect? Are they all like this?

Ratchet: Fortunately not.

—Smokescreen meets Miko. 


&quot;The Red Energon is mine, humans, for you are powerless in the face of the mighty Star- What? Where is it?!&quot;

—Starscream's melodramatic entrance is deflated. 


&quot;Any last words, Smokescreen?&quot;

&quot;Just four—kiss your armor goodbye!&quot;

—Starscream gets a last warning from Smokescreen before literally getting his tailpipe kicked. 


&quot;You aren't the only one sporting a fancy wrist-mounted device!&quot;

—Starscream on his fancy rockets.

===The Human Factor===

&quot;Thank you all for your dedication and a lifetime of service. But I now seem more suited to keep the exclusive company...of titans.&quot;

—&quot;Cylas&quot;, just before brutally killing his own men. And this is a ''kids' show?''


&quot;Bulkhead! I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot;

—Ratchet still hasn't learned that saying that phrase won't change anything. 


Jack: You've got to be kidding, Raf! You of all people, grounded?

Raf: Big time. I misplaced some homework and blew a couple of tests.

Miko: Translation, A- instead of A.

—Miko thinks Raf is Mr. Perfect when it comes to school, unlike herself. 


&quot;This is the ''human'' who dissected Breakdown!&quot;

''Knock Out activates his circular saw''

&quot;Please, my liege...allow me to return the favor.&quot;

—Knock Out, finally confirming the fans' belief that he does care about his former partner. 


Megatron: Cylas, you have earned your place at the table.

Cylas: Lord Megatron, I am honored.

Megatron: Knock Out's dissection table!

Knock Out: Breakdown would be tickled.


===Legacy===
:'''Megatron''': It cannot be. Power of this magnitude must never be allowed to fall into the hands of Optimus Prime no matter what. ... 
:'''Megatron''':We Decepticons... now face our darkest hour.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Smokescreen''':How ''epic'' was that?

===Alpha; Omega===
&quot;So, did Alpha Trion ask about me?&quot;

—Smokescreen 


&quot;Yeah, I don't think I'd ever wanna leave Miko&quot;

&quot;We've made friends here. Family.&quot;

&quot;We could always... 'text' them.&quot;

—Bulkhead, Arcee, and Ratchet. 


&quot;At last we take our rightful places, Optimus, as gods, wielding the power of the cosmos.&quot;

&quot;I am but a soldier, Megatron, and you are a prisoner of your own twisted delusions.&quot;

—Megatron and Optimus Prime exchange banter during battle.

===Hard Knocks===
&quot;Last one to the Omega Key has to scrub the Energon tanks for a week.&quot;

&quot;Didn't know we were keeping score.&quot;

—Smokescreen and Arcee 


&quot;Who knew that ''sound waves'' could be such a ''knock out?''&quot;

—See what Knock Out did there? 


&quot;How is it possible that ''speed-enhancing'' Energon takes longer to process than ''regular'' Energon?&quot;

—Starscream learns how cruel irony is.


&quot;Make sure you keep an eye on 'destiny's child', okay?&quot;

&quot;Compared to watching Miko? Piece of cake!&quot;

—Arcee giving Bulkhead some advice on handling the rookie. 


&quot;You love doing your dirty work from a distance, don't ya? Too bad you don't have the ball bearings to fight up close and personal!&quot;

—Bulkhead gives Dreadwing some smack talk using an eyebrow-raising anatomic euphemism.

===Inside Job===

:'''Megatron''': Tell me the function of these relics.&quot;

===Patch===
:'''Megatron''':Few things of value come without a price.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''':Megatron sure knows how to 'patch' things up, eh, Dreadwi-- ''[turns around to see that Dreadwing has disappeared]'' Dreadwing?

===Regeneration===
&quot;Rise and shine! Your T-Cog transplant was a success! Yes, I am just that good.&quot; 

—Knock Out being modest about his surgery skills for a change. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': Wait, this is about Skyquake, isn't it?! I thought we had put that behind us!
:'''Dreadwing''': So have I!
:'''Starscream''': Casualties are unfortunate consequence of war! But I assure you, your twin met his end with great honor!
:'''Dreadwing''': WHICH YOU DISGRACED BY RAISING HIM FROM THE DEAD!
:'''Starscream''': Oh, you know about that... There must be something I can do! Some form of reparation I can offer you to alleviate your anguish!
:'''Dreadwing''': YOUR SPARK WILL SUFFICE!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
&quot;I said stand down! That is an order.&quot;

&quot;One which I cannot follow.&quot; 

—Megatron gives his last order to Dreadwing, who gives his last words.


&quot;I'm okay?... I'M OKAY! ''(laughs)'' Lord Megatron, you have my eternal thanks!&quot;

&quot;Do not ''ever'' make me regret which one of you I spared.&quot;

—Starscream and Megatron, right after the latter blows a hole through Dreadwing's chest.


&quot;Oh gee, why didn't I think of that?&quot; 

—Knock Out lamenting on Starscream's intelligence as he bashes an Omega Key against the table. 


&quot;Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime makes the obligatory G1 shoutout. 


&quot;I will have those keys or I will have your sparks!&quot;

&quot;I can help with the last part.&quot; 

—Smokescreen verbally beats Megatron one more time. 


&quot;What crawled up his tailpipe and died?&quot; 

—Miko on Ratchet's curt reply.

===Darkest Hour===
:'''Starscream''': PRIME! He will pay for dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk!
:'''Megatron''': ''[lets out a dark chuckle, which becomes manic laughter]'' They can run, but they can never again run ''home.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bulkhead''': Optimus... destroyed the Omega Lock.
:'''Ratchet''': ''What?!'' You did--?!
:'''Optimus Prime''': What was necessary. There was no time for another prolonged battle. Not with Earth in imminent danger.
:'''Ratchet''': So you destroyed the ''only'' device in ''any'' universe capable of restoring our home?! Optimus... we needed that.
:'''Smokescreen''': You weren't there, Doc. And it's not your place to second-guess a battlefield decision.
:'''Ratchet''': IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! THERE ''HAD'' TO BE ANOTHER WAY!
:'''Jack''': It wasn't that simple, Ratchet.
:'''Raf''': Megatron was using the Omega Lock to attack the Earth.
:'''Miko''': Optimus saved our planet!
:'''Ratchet''': WHAT ABOUT ''OUR'' PLANET?! All of our struggles, and energon spilled, and countless sacrifices - for ''nothing?!''
:'''Arcee''': Right decision or wrong, what's done is done. But we have another problem here on ''this'' world. The Cons just changed the rules when they put Jack, Miko and Raf into play.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Megatron''': Our opportunity to revive Cybertron has been lost, due to the treachery of Optimus Prime! But from our fortress of New Kaon, we will instead seize control of ''this'' world! DECEPTICONS! TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!
:'''Starscream''': I thought he'd never ask!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': This is the place, all right.
:'''Megatron''': This ''was'' the place.
:'''Starscream''': United, we stand. Divided, they fall.

==Season 3: Beast Hunters==

===Darkmount, NV===
&quot;Agent Fowler, I admit that war brings out the worst in me, but the conflict with the Autobots is now over, and our quarrel has never been with your kind. Now that the one true enemy of the Decepticons is no more, my only wish is to coexist on this planet with the human race... peacefully. Together, Agent Fowler, I believe that you and I can make that dream a reality.&quot;

—Megatron on the phone. 


&quot;Earth is our planet now, Starscream, and we shall finish what we started. Humankind has no idea what lies ahead for them.&quot;

—Megatron off the phone. 


&quot;He's feedin' me a load of horse puckey, trying to crush our spirit.&quot;

—Agent Fowler is not buying what Megatron is selling. 


&quot;How long does it take to exterminate a lone Autobot and her human pet?!&quot;

&quot;Well, in my experience-&quot;

&quot;''Not'' a riddle, Starscream.&quot;

&quot;Sorry.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream

===Scattered===
&quot;I find your reply to be... logical.&quot;

—Shockwave's response to Starscream's explanation. Or should we say ''Spock''wave?


&quot;Careful, Starscream. You may dislocate a landing gear patting yourself on the back.&quot;

—Knock Out echoes the audience's feelings about Starscream's &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; noise.

===Prey===
Miko: A dragon?! Where did the 'Cons get a dragon?!

[Bulkhead and Wheeljack look at each other]

Bulkhead and Wheeljack: What's a dragon?

Miko: Giant, flying, fire-breathing lizard!

— Mythology 101 with the Wreckers. 


&quot;Yes! Snuff the Tragic Dragon!&quot;

—Miko making a funny quip. 


&quot;Ultra Magnus? It's an honor!&quot;

&quot;It's an honor, sir.&quot;

—Bulkhead meets Ultra Magnus who insists even praise follow proper etiquette. 


&quot;What is it now, &quot;Lord&quot; Megatron?&quot;

—Agent Fowler must be getting a LOT of calls from Megatron. 


&quot;Autobots, take your pick.&quot;

&quot;Now you're speaking my language...''sir.''&quot;

—Ultra Magnus learns that the way to Wheeljack's respect is through his trigger finger.

===Rebellion===
&quot;Looks like we'll have to sneak past enemy lines, Wrecker style.&quot;

&quot;I couldn't deal with 'Wrecker style' back on Cybertron, and I refuse to deal with it here.&quot;

—Wheeljack wants to go Wrecker style, but Ultra Magnus CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT RIGHT NOW. 

&quot;Starscream! Explain why my forces are scattering across this globe.&quot;

&quot;Renegade Autobot mischief, Lord Megatron. I am in the process of deducing how they are infiltrating our communications system without a base of-&quot;

(Soundwave gets their attention and shows where.)

&quot;The Harvenger.&quot;

&quot;You left abandoned Decepticon technology fully operational and UNSECURED?!&quot;

-Megatron being angry at Starscream's incompetence once again.

&quot;This isn't how the story's supposed to end.&quot;

—Smokescreen giving a middle finger to the tried and true leadership inheritance patterns. 


&quot;I know that color scheme.&quot;

—Starscream noticing Optimus's new look, as he's coming to Darkmount. YOU KNOW THAT AUTOBOT!!!!


Optimus Prime: Commander?

Ultra Magnus: Sir, you are looking... robust.

—The Autobot higher-ups have a little chat. 


&quot;Megatron, be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime gives Megatron a reminder of a past beating. 


&quot;Soundwave, I require a Ground Bridge.&quot;

—Good timing, Shockwave. 


&quot;Awww, I missed it!&quot;

—Bad timing, Smokescreen. 


Ratchet: Is it true the Forge has been drained of its power? Then any hope of rebuilding the Omega Lock has truly been lost.

Smokescreen: I... did what I felt was right.

Ratchet: And your instincts once have again proven to be quite sound.

—Ratchet and Smokescreen on the Forge Solus Prime

===Project Predacon===
&quot;What were you thinking, soldier?&quot;

&quot;I was thinking Bulkhead could catch that lob.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack air their grievances like mature adults who hate each other. 


&quot;I was nearly a Prime, but somehow I'm still a rookie.&quot;

—Smokescreen bemoans the show's return to status quo. 


Raf: They're like Earth's dinosaurs.

Jack: Which means for you guys, running into one would be like us meeting a T-Rex.

Miko: So, then what were Dinobots?

Bulkhead: Totally different.

—Predacon discussion leads to a wink and a nod. 


&quot;Autobots, we must become Beast Hunters.&quot;

—Optimus Prime sees the writing on the package--Er, wall. 


&quot;Pfft. Another scavenger hunt?&quot;

—Starscream says the audience's line for us. 


&quot;How logical would it really be to locate all the dusty remains of your former pets?&quot;

&quot;You are not suggesting that I would send my creations to a distant planet without first having them microchipped?&quot;

&quot;Well, I-- Well, I was. But...seriously? You did?&quot;

—Starscream is shut down by Shockwave. 


&quot;Um... what's a kilt?&quot;

&quot;Agent Fowler can at times be oblique. I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime on Earth culture, proving again that the best comedy comes from having no sense of humor. 

===Chain of Command===

&quot;Wrecker Fact #17?&quot;
&quot;'Guards never look up'.&quot;

—A trope-savvy Wheeljack and Bulkhead


Ultra Magnus: And what could have possibly compelled you to bring the native?
[Wheeljack thinks back to just before they left the Autobot base]
Miko: Yo. Can I come with?
Wheeljack: Why not?
&quot;Are your circuits impaired, soldier?&quot;
&quot;Prime told you to lead the Wreckers on this one. I assumed he meant all of them.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack argue over Miko's Wrecker status.


&quot;Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Even the strongest armor can't protect the weakest of creatures.&quot;
&quot;It protected you, didn't it?&quot;

—Starscream's gonna need some ice after that burn.


&quot;You do know that I vanquished Cliffjumper, don't you?&quot;
&quot;Big whoop. I snuffed Hardshell.&quot;

—Starscream finally gets his &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; boast shut down by Miko.

===Plus One===
&quot;I wondered what was taking so long with those sodas.&quot;

—Raf has gotten used to Miko's disappearances. 


&quot;I didn't choose 'emergency' as my vehicle mode for laughs.&quot;

—Ratchet, the Autobots' secret weapon. 


Wheeljack: Know what I love most about Vehicon troopers?

Arcee: They're easily distracted.

—Wrecker Fact #[Insert Number Here] on henchbots. 


&quot;I'll have you know, Nurse Darby, I was an Army Ranger and federal agent for Unit:E three decades before I ever heard the name 'Optimus Prime'.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gives June his credentials. 


Megatron: Knock Out, do not return empty-handed.

Knock Out: Moi? Don't know the meaning of the word.

Starscream: Isn't 'empty-handed' two words?

Knock Out: You would know. Or did your missing armor turn up?

—Knock Out and Starscream try to impress the boss with a game of &quot;so there&quot;s. 


&quot;Knock Out to Lord Megatron. I have secured one vintage Predacon talon. Plus, two of the Autobots' pets, for you to employ as hostages, lab experiments...well, any way you see fit. So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than Starscream.&quot;

[Comm static]

&quot;My liege? Hello?&quot;

[More static]

&quot;Too familiar?&quot;

—Knock Out gets the wrong idea from the communications blackout. 


&quot;Frankly, I find it repulsive. The whole idea of you fleshies...interfacing.&quot; [Shudders]

—Knock Out does not approve of humans Powerlinxing. 


&quot;Bromance trumps romance.&quot;

— Jack has it figured out. 

===Thirst===
&quot;My, my, my. Whatever have you been inflicting upon poor Cylas?&quot;

&quot;Ha! Well, anything that merits the need for a living petri dish.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out laugh over Cylas' misfortune. 


Megatron: [Talking to Shockwave over comm] Tell me of the Predacon protoforms. What is the status of their incubation? Mm-hm. Uh-huh.

Starscream: Master, if I do say so myself, I have made the most intriguing discovery. It appears that--

Megatron: Not now! [Back to Shockwave] Please continue, Shockwave. No, no one important.

—Megatron doesn't like to be interrupted when he's on the phone. 


&quot;Do you think he's actually trying to--?&quot;

&quot;Suck out our energon with that thing? Sure seems that way.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss Cylas' fancy new tongue. 


Starscream: Megatron will undoubtedly hold us responsible.

Knock Out: But...WE ARE!

Starscream: Well, you are, mostly.

—Starscream blames someone else, news at 11. 


&quot;Aim for the head!&quot;

&quot;What? How do you know?&quot;

&quot;I've seen human horror films.&quot; [Starscream looks at him curiously] &quot;At drive-in theaters!&quot;

—Knock Out schools Starscream on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. 


&quot;You know the worst part? After battling Autobots all these years, getting smacked down, shot at, blown up, this is how our lights go out?&quot;

-Knock Out getting retrospective on us. This sounds familiar... 


&quot;If this is indeed the end, if we are to become Terrorcon-chow, it has been an honor serving Lord Megatron with you.&quot;

&quot;You're no Breakdown. Though I must confess, I have always admired your lustrous finish.&quot;

[Awkward pause]

&quot;Well, then.&quot;

&quot;Should be going.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out begin a beautiful friendship… 


[To Knock Out] &quot;Allow me to handle this.&quot; [To Megatron] &quot;It's Knock Out's fault!&quot;

&quot;Precisely, my-- WHAT?!?&quot;

—…which ends moments later when Starscream jumps at the first opportunity to throw Knock Out under the bus. 


&quot;Let me just say, you have been awarded more chances for redemption than anyone in Decepticon history!&quot;

—Next contestant, Megatron from Kaon. Special subject, the obvious. 


&quot;Silas? Whatever have they done to you? But more importantly, thank you for freeing me.&quot;

&quot;No. Thank…you… [Dies]

&quot;Whatever.&quot;

—Airachnid is unmoved by Cylas' final words. 


&quot;Soundwave! I vow that on this day, the world will hear the sound of your screams.&quot;

—Airachnid's mouth writes a check that her abdomen can't cash. 

===Evolution===
&quot;Strike me again, and I will bury that rod in your spark.&quot;

—Predaking speaks his first words. 


&quot;Your vision... is boundless.&quot;

—Megatron considers whether his former pet might become a future rival. 


&quot;The moment our 'Royal Highness' realizes that his army possesses greater might than what currently remains of the Decepticons...&quot;

&quot;Evolution will give way to revolution.&quot;

—Megatron mocks Predaking's name and Starscream knows a potential coup when he sees one. 


&quot;Blow these beasts back to the Rust Age.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus adds an entire new article to the Wiki. 


&quot;Optimus. When we spoke earlier...what could be greater than an army?&quot;

&quot;A human concept, one I have learned since coming to Earth: family.&quot;

—Optimus Prime imparts wisdom; Ultra Magnus is no longer able to applaud. 

===Minus One===
&quot;Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another? Master?!&quot;

&quot;I'm thinking.&quot;

—Starscream discovers that Megatron has been reading The Hands-Off Manager. 


&quot;I am tempted to force you to share my perception of things.&quot;

—Shockwave really hates or really loves having one eye, as he tells Starscream. 


&quot;Exemplary teamwork.&quot;

—Megatron, after Starscream convinces Shockwave not to share his perspective. 


&quot;It has taken me quite some time to fully comprehend that Earth and Cybertron have always been linked. Two halves of one whole; Primus and Unicron. And that to rule only one, would be to never truly rule either.&quot;

—Megatron on the significance of Earth. 


&quot;Whoa. Optimus Prime, the remix.&quot;

—Miko comments on Soundwave's DJ skills. 


&quot;Soundwave superior, Autobots inferior.&quot;

—Soundwave paraphrases a little-known line from an obscure movie. 


&quot;Can't we throw a tarp over him? He's creeping me out.&quot;

&quot;Yeah, it's like he's watching. No matter where you go.&quot;

—Bulkhead and Smokescreen are intimidated even by a deactivated Soundwave. 

===Persuasion===
&quot;This is no place for a one-handed Autobot.&quot;

&quot;I'll take one bum hand over one good eye any day.&quot;

—Shockwave and Ultra Magnus trade politically incorrect barbs. 


&quot;Humans. Always the weak link.&quot;

—Starscream showing that he still doesn't quite get it. 


&quot;Ratchet didn't think this new hand he built for me was good enough. But I'll tell you what truly isn't good enough: giving up.&quot;

—Keep practicing those speeches, Ultra Magnus, profundity will come someday. 


Ratchet: Megatron, you would just try to conquer Cybertron all over again, and enslave anyone who refuses to pledge allegiance to you.

Megatron: Of course I would!

—Decepticon or not, Megatron has little use for guile. 


Ratchet: What assurance do I have that you would leave humankind be, and that you wouldn't instantly terminate me once you get what you need?

Megatron: None whatsoever. After all, we both know that as a Decepticon, any assurances I might offer would be worthless.

—Seriously, Megatron is crazy honest about lying. 


&quot;Miko, I needed that!&quot;

—Raf hangs around Ratchet entirely too much. 


Megatron: It will not take long for this Omega Lock's drives to be fully operational. All that is still needed to restore our home is the cybermatter to launch through it.

Ratchet: Which requires a stabilized formula for the production of synthetic energon.

Megatron: I have every confidence in you, doctor.

Ratchet: I'll do it. But then you already knew that, didn't you?

—Ratchet makes a deal with the aptly named Megatron, after which one can only hope that he has Daniel Webster on speed dial. 

===Synthesis===
&quot;Starscream, you did destroy the Autobot base, did you not?&quot;

&quot;With great fervor, my lord. Why do you ask?&quot;

&quot;Because Laserbeak's frequency has been detected on radar.&quot;

&quot;But that's not possible. He's right here in Soundwave's torso.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream with a sentence you can only get from Transformers. 


[Over comm] &quot;Lord Megatron. There's been a situation... more like an accident, really—&quot;

&quot;Spit. It. OUT!&quot;

—Knock Out knows Megatron likes to shoot the messenger, but Megatron is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. 


&quot;At last. Good riddance to a wretched species.&quot;

&quot;Although I will say they manufacture some fine-looking automobiles.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out debate the merits of Earth. 


&quot;Why would my liege wish to destroy us?&quot;

&quot;Having just been on the receiving end of your might, one theory springs to mind. Megatron ''fears'' you.&quot;

—Predaking is confused by Ratchet's news of Megatron's betrayal. Maybe it was calling yourself a king that did it. 


&quot;Is it true that ''you'' ordered the annihilation of my army?!&quot;

&quot;Indeed. And my only mistake was not seeing the extermination through.&quot;

—Predaking learns that Megatron doesn't fear him quite so much as Ratchet thought.

===Deadlock===
&quot;Pack light. Pack light! [Finds his rotary buffer] Oh! Pack smart!&quot; 

—Knock Out, not needing to be told that cowards survive. 


&quot;You took my voice. You will never rob anyone of anything ever again.&quot; 

—Bumblebee, getting payback at last.
 

&quot;I will avenge you, Master!&quot;

[Shockwave grabs him]

&quot;Starscream, do not be a fool!&quot;

[They flee as Starscream resists]

&quot;Curse you and your logic!&quot; 

—Starscream and Shockwave debate the merits of revenge. 


&quot;Bumblebee...&quot;

&quot;Your voice...&quot;

&quot;My voice? What're you g-...My voice!&quot;

[grabs Ratchet in a great big hug]

&quot;Ratchet! I have my pipes back!&quot;

&quot;Errhmm, y-yes! Yes we noticed!&quot; 

—Ratchet, Arcee, and Bumblebee in a crazy-happy moment. Admit it, you smiled too. 


&quot;Rrrgh, your elbow articulator is digging into my lateral flexer!&quot;

&quot;Do you intend to whine for the duration of the voyage?&quot;
 
—Starscream and Shockwave get used to each other's company. This is going to be a long trip. 


&quot;Ah, such luster.&quot;

[Autobots stare in disbelief]

&quot;What? I'm joining the winning team.&quot; 

—Knock Out proves once again just how self-important he really is, right before Miko shuts him up. 


&quot;Raf...&quot;

&quot;I know Bee. You don't have to say anything.&quot;

&quot;I never did.&quot; 

—Raf and Bumblebee share their last exchange...for now. 


&quot;Until we meet again, old friend...&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet also share their last exchange, and in a way, to us. 

==Film==
{{Main|Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Transformers animated TV shows|Prime]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Discovery Family shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>7yhg7s54zpry1xmyjcwwy7umvsinu8d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154792</id>
      <parentid>3154767</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:19:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>50.158.70.75</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Season 2 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="77941" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{otherusesof|Transformers|Transformers}}
'''''[[w:Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime]]''''' is one of several animated television series featuring the [[w:Transformers (toy line)|Transformers toy line]].
{{tv-cleanup|2011-02-06}}

==Season 1==

===Darkness Rising, Part One===

:''[Bumblebee arrives.]''
:'''Jack Darby:''' Friend of yours?
:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]:''' Family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Raf Esquivel:''' What are they?
:'''Jack Darby:''' Talking cars that turn into robots. Or the other way around.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
 
:'''Raf''': So, if you guys are robots, who made you...?
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Ugh! Puh-leez... 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 

:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': We are autonomous robotic organisms, from the planet Cybertron...
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Decepticons! I have returned.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 2===
:''[To the newly returned Megatron.]''
:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Then, as your humble servant, shall I ready the space bridge to bring forth the Decepticon army you have ''surely'' gathered during your three years in space?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:''[Megatron has tested the Dark Energon on a deceased Cliffjumper, resulting in an out-of-control zombie.]''
:'''Starscream''': THAT'S YOUR PLAN?!! BRING AUTOBOTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO ATTACK US?!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Ratchet is arguing against keeping the humans at the base.]''
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers_Prime|Ratchet]]''': They have no protective shell! If they get underfoot, they will go...squish.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Bulkhead_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Bulkhead]]''': Team Prime knows when to use force, and how much to use!
:''[Bulkhead crushes a tool in his fist]''
:'''Ratchet''': Bulkhead, I ''NEEDED'' THAT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Megatron studies the Dark Energon.]''
:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Blood of Unicron, how I might fathom the depths of your mystery, become worthy of wielding your astonishing power!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Miko Nakadai''': Robots who get dizzy?
:'''Raf Esquivel''': Robots with emotions....
:'''Jack Darby''': Robots...who can ''die''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Jack Darby''': Well, if I don't call my mom, like, now, I'm pretty sure the cops will be out looking for me.
:'''Optimus Prime''': Have you broken a law?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]''': Grab your helmet, it's go time.
:'''Jack Darby''': Aww, it's ''Saturday''!
:'''Arcee''': You can watch cartoons back at base with Bumblebee.
:'''Jack Darby''': Tchh. Cartoons? I'm sixteen. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 3===
&quot;I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot; 

—Ratchet's tools suffer further abuse... from one of his already abused tools. 


&quot;I fear that when our master reached for the stars, he came down with a touch of... space madness.&quot; 

—Starscream, ever ready to undermine Megatron. 


&quot;Besides, Ratchet hasn't been in the field since the war.&quot;
&quot;My pistons may be rusty, but my hearing is sharp as ever!&quot; 

—Arcee, on Ratchet's current military qualifications. 


&quot;Rise my army! Behold! &lt;big&gt;'''''The Power of DARK ENERGON!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;

—Megatron raising the dead

===Darkness Rising, Part 4===

&quot;Megatron has desecrated the resting place of our fallen ancestors... and his own!&quot;
&quot;Not even the dead are free from his war-mongering.&quot; 

—Ratchet states the obvious in a slightly novel way while Optimus rues the depth of Megatron's evil. 


&quot;I wouldn't.&quot;
&quot;Oh, but I ''might''...&quot; 

—Arcee threatens Starscream, who doesn't feel very threatened. 


&quot;I like pie. Can we stop for pie?&quot;

&quot;You found Fowler! ROCK ON!&quot; 

—Delerious Fowler and Miko.


&quot;No point in long good-byes. Here's the door.&quot; 

—Ratchet fights back the tears as Jack prepares to leave.


&quot;I ordered you to await my command! Instead, your mindless agenda resulted in the disabling of my ship, and the delay of my plans!&quot;
&quot;My intentions were pure, master. I only wanted you to be rid of Optimus—&quot;''(Megatron slams his foot on Starscream's face)''
&quot;NO ONE RIDS ME OF OPTIMUS PRIME BUT ''ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! ''DO YOU?!''&quot;
''(Choking)'' &quot;Lord Megatron, I will make things right, I swear! I know how to set your plans back on course...!&quot;
''(Megatron picks him up by the throat)''
&quot;Explain, Starscream. '''''Quickly'''''.&quot;

—Megatron raging, Starscream groveling.


&quot;I've been raised to be responsible. To my schoolwork, to my mom, my job.&quot; 

—The Spectacular Jack Darby


&quot;Optimus, these are engineering specs for a space-time vortex generator.&quot;
&quot;Megatron is building a space-bridge. If he hasn't already.&quot;
&quot;The sooner he leaves, the better.&quot;
&quot;Bulkhead, a space-bridge runs in two directions. Megatron may not be trying to ''leave'' Earth, but to bring through his conquering army.&quot;
&quot;The ''main event'' Megatron referred to? But the only place Megatron could possibly recruit that many fallen warriors...&quot;
&quot;Precisely...CYBERTRON.&quot;

-The Autobots have a sudden realization.

===Darkness Rising, Part Five===
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Optimus, if you leave me stranded on a planet teeming with humans, I will never forgive you. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Optimus Prime never disappoints. Unlike YOU, Starscream!  
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Surely, Lord Megatron, the Autobots are up to something.
:'''Megatron''': ''[sarcastically]'' Really, Starscream?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Megatron''': Ah...misdirection Optimus. You would've made a fine Decepticon.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I ''chose'' my side.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[With the destruction of his space bridge approaching, Megatron turns to find his forces retreating.]''
:'''Megatron''': Starscream! Where is my ship?!
:'''Starscream''': We would never make it, Lord Megatron! Don't be a fool! ''Take flight and retreat!!''
&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Starscream is delivering Megatron's eulogy.]''
:'''Starscream''': Decepticons, it is with deep sorrow that I note for the log... Megatron's spark has been extinguished... All. Hail. Starscream.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;

:'''Optimus Prime''': Without a means of leaving this world, we Autobots take strength in the bonds we have forged with our three young friends - true warriors. If not in body, then in spirit. My name is Optimus Prime, and I send this message. Though we did not choose to be of Earth, it would seem that we are here to stay. If you approach this planet with hostile intent, know this: We will defend ourselves. We will defend humanity. We will defend... our home.

=== Masters and Students===

:'''Vechicon Soldier''': If we failed to conquer Earth under Lord Megatron's command, what hope do we have now while the Autobots still defend it?
:'''Starscream''': ''[growls]'' Allow me to be crystal clear: I studied for millennia under our former master, thus I am equipped to lead you. I, Megatron's true heir - Lord Starscream, ''EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION!''
:''[Vehicons begin to murmur]''
:'''Starscream''': ''[snarls and storms out in frustration]'' What use are troops who can't rise to the task of inflicting unspeakable destruction in my name?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Arcee:''' Maybe it needs one of these doohickeys... ''[Holds up a part]''
:'''Jack:''' You're a motorcycle, Arcee. Shouldn't you know how to build a motorcycle engine?
:'''Arcee:''' You're a human, Jack. Can you build me a small intestine? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream:''' Awaken, warrior. Rise and serve your new master!
:'''Skyquake:''' Skyquake serves only ''one'' master.
:'''Starscream:''' Excellent. Your loyalty and devotion will set a fine example for the troops. No need to be timid, Skyquake - you may bow.
:'''Skyquake:''' You fail to grasp my meaning. I am here on a mission, assigned to me by my one master: Megatron.
:'''Starscream:''' Yes...him. Sadly, Megatron is...no longer with us.
:'''Skyquake:''' Impossible!
:'''Starscream:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Why is this ''so difficult'' for everyone to accept?! Skyquake, ''I'' located you. ''I'' awakened you. Thus ''I'', Lord Starscream, am now your master!!!
:''[Skyquake growls and glares down at him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Skyquake''': ''[After scanning a jet mode]'' Air superiority achieved!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[Starscream yanks a shard of Dark Energon from Megatron's chest.]''
:'''Starscream''': And this time...STAY DEAD!

===Scrapheap===

:'''Raf Esquivel''': The Arctic? I've always wanted to see snow.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I would invite you to join, Rafael, but the conditions are much too extreme, even for we Autobots.
:'''Raf Esquivel''': I understand...
:''Optimus starts to leave, then pauses.''
:'''Optimus Prime''': But, I will bring you back a snowball.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&quot;Bulkhead, you never run.&quot; 
&quot;Miko, you haven't seen a swarm of these things devour a bot. I have. They pick you apart from the inside out, going for the small juicy bits first, fuse by fuse, circuit by circuit, 'til there's nothing left, and I mean nothing... not even your optics.&quot; 

—Miko gets some nightmare fuel from Bulkhead. 


&quot;I get to be your bodyguard for once. How cool is that?!&quot;
&quot;Raf found the first one here, right?&quot;
''(Lights turn off for a second followed by Bulkhead's scream)''
&quot;Did you just scream like a little girl?&quot;
&quot;No! ...Maybe... Can we talk about this later?&quot; 

—Miko and Bulkhead searching, and a more hilarious reversal of roles cannot be found. 


&quot;What do you suggest? Wait, how about a game? Let's play 'Who Screwed Things Up Back at Base'.&quot;
&quot;Our predicament could be the result of a simple malfunction.&quot;
&quot;Caused by Bulkhead.&quot; 

—Arcee and Optimus prove that when things go wrong, blame it on Bulkhead. 


&quot;Bulkhead may be...too large for this world. But his inner strength is without bounds. One should not be measured by size alone.&quot; 

—Optimus gives us a life lesson while finding a nice way to call Bulkhead fat. 


&quot;Ready for the main course? Come and get it!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, king of one-liners. 


&quot;I'd invite you in, but the place is a mess.&quot; 

—Seriously, give Bulkhead a crown. 


&quot;We're just fortunate that this infestation happened...on a Saturday.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds there's an upside to having human companions.

===Con Job===
&quot;Do you not see that you are vastly outnumbered?&quot;
&quot;I see fellas who might vastly enjoy watching me pound some dents into you.&quot; 

—Starscream and Wheeljack 


&quot;I'm still picking shrapnel out of my backside!&quot; 
&quot;I'm not surprised, given the size of your backside.&quot; 

—Bulkhead reminisces, Arcee zings. 


&quot;If anything happens to my favourite Wrecker, I'm coming after you!&quot; 

—Wheeljack tells Miko to take good care of his best bud for him.

===Convoy===
&quot;Ah-ah, no need, Agent Fowler. I will handle the driving.&quot;
&quot;It's going to be a long trip.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime lets Agent Fowler in on his no-touch policy. 


&quot;Gentlemen, stop their engines.&quot; 

—Silas 


&quot;Is that so? Tell me, Si, what's the market price for a D.N.G.S. these days?&quot;
&quot;What makes you think we intend to sell it, Agent Fowler?&quot; 

—Agent Fowler and Silas discussing the value of Fowler's Dingus. 


&quot;After a long road trip, feels good to get out of the car, stretch my legs, and kick some tailpipe!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, the reigning king of one-liners. 


&quot;You want me to not only bridge you into a confined space, but one traveling at 90 miles per hour? I can't even count the number of things that can go wrong. Mass displacement trauma, twisted limbs, metal burn! Well, maybe not the last one.&quot; 

—Overly attached Ratchet to Jack, Miko and Raf 


&quot;First rule of combat: Never leave the enemy with the spoils.&quot; 

—Silas

===Deus ex Machina===
&quot;Miko, listen. If you fail high school, you can't go to—uh...uni...kesa...colls...w-wait, what's that word again?&quot;
&quot;Uh, 'college'?&quot; 

—Bulkhead tries to give Miko a lecture on academia. 


&quot;Look Miko, before I became a warrior I was a laborer, construction. I can build stuff, I can break stuff, and that's it.&quot;
&quot;I love breaking stuff! I wanna be just like you, Bulk.&quot;
&quot;Aaargh...why would you wanna be like me, when you can be a medic like Ratchet?&quot; 

—Bulkhead fails to convince Miko regarding the benefits of education. 


&quot;It's about time, Knock Out. I do not enjoy being kept waiting!&quot;
&quot;Ah, it was a long drive, Starscream. I'm still picking bugs out of my grille.&quot;
&quot;Yes, right, you're one of those.&quot;
&quot;Come again?&quot;
&quot;Never understood why any self-respecting Decepticon would choose 'automobile' as his vehicle mode when he could have flight!&quot;
&quot;I like the way I look in steel-belted radials.&quot; 

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss an infraction of the norm. 


&quot;We have a history.&quot;
&quot;(chuckles) And you have a pet. Does it play catch?&quot; 

—Bulkhead and Breakdown, just before the latter throws a giant stone pillar at Miko.


&quot;We're already trespassers and thieves. Why not add forgery to the list?&quot; 

—Jack Darby, master of logic.


&quot;Wait! What are you doing?!&quot;
&quot;What I do best: ''(grabs Energon Harvester)'' Breaking things!&quot; ''(punches Starscream)'' 

—Starscream is no match for Bulkhead's sheer awesomeness. 


&quot;He's a glutton for punishment.&quot;
''(Autobots arrive)''
&quot;Fight?&quot;
&quot;Mmm, drive.&quot; 

—Knockout and Breakdown are prevented from killing Bulkhead.

===Speed Metal===

&quot;Winning isn't enough, Jack. You want to make him ''cry.''&quot;

—Arcee explains her method of getting even. 


&quot;You have been street racing among the humans again, haven't you?&quot;
&quot;I'm not only an automobile, I'm an automobile enthusiast.&quot;
&quot;I DO strive to run a tight ship, Knock Out. I would strongly suggest that you seek my permission next time you decide to disappear on one of your little...jaunts.&quot;
&quot;No worries, Herr Kommandant.&quot;
&quot;It is 'Lord' to you.&quot;
&quot;Only if Megatron takes a nosedive.&quot;
&quot;Hhhnnn. The day our master emerges from stasis, I will graciously relinquish the title. But I believe that outcome is unlikely. Something to do with the quality of medical care around here. So continue buffing. We do want Megatron looking his best for the memorial.&quot;
''(Starscream leaves the room.)''
&quot;Buff ''this.''&quot;

—Knock Out and Starscream don't exactly see eye-to-eye. 


Arcee: Have you guys seen Jack?
Miko: ...not since...we last saw him.
Arcee: They're racing, aren't they?
Raf: Just this once.
Arcee: Did you know about this?
Bulkhead: No. Maybe. A little.

—No one on Team Prime can lie. 


&quot;'Bee, do not engage. Your first priority is to keep Jack safe. [murmurs] Until I get my hands on him.&quot;

—Arcee is a scary guardian. 


Raf: We should just tell Optimus the truth.
Miko: Absolutely not! We made a deal. Just act completely normal.
Optimus: Raf, Miko, do either of you know where the others have gone?
Miko: ''(innocently)'' Why, no, sir. We do not know.
Raf: ''(stiffly)'' Miko is correct. We do not know.
Miko: Why would ''we'' know?
Optimus: ''(raises an eyebrow)'' Hmm.

—Seriously, it's a minor miracle the kids haven't blown their cover with their parents yet. 


&quot;Do you know how hard that is to replace?!&quot;

—Knock Out loses a door to Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Knock Out! Was I not clear?! You have defied my orders yet again!&quot;
&quot;My mistake, Commander Starscream. But, I've learned my lesson, and paid the price...&quot;
&quot;It. Is. ''LOOOORD!'' And you have paid, when I ''say'' you have paid. Do not worry, your punishment shall be merely... cosmetic.&quot;
''(Starscream extends a razor-sharp finger)''
&quot;No... Not the finish! ''Anything'' but the finish! ''NOOOOOOOOOO!''&quot;

—''Lord'' Starscream reminds Knock Out where he stands.

===Predatory===
&quot;I may not have stinger-proof metal skin, Arcee, but in a pinch, I can use my multi-function pocket knife and magnesium fire-starter to cook up some freeze-dried mac and cheese.&quot;

—Jack subtly plants a Chekhov's gun. 


&quot;Partners don't ditch partners. &quot;
&quot;Get this straight, you're ''not'' my partner, you're a ''liability''!&quot;
&quot;I don't believe you! I can see it in your eyes: you're afraid, Arcee. And you're ''never'' afraid.&quot;

—Jack calls Arcee's bluff.


&quot;These days, I travel solo in pursuit of my new hobby.&quot;
&quot;I got a look at your souvenir case.&quot;
&quot;You mean my trophies. I collect endangered species. Of course, they aren't really endangered...until they meet me.&quot;

—Airachnid shares her favorite pastime with Arcee. 


&quot;So much for closure.&quot;

—Arcee is annoyed as Airachnid gets away.

===Sick Mind===
&quot;Is he displaying brain wave activity?&quot;
&quot;Spiking hard. His sick mind's still at work.&quot;

- Arcee namedrops the title. 


&quot;I will NOT allow Optimus to pass knowing that Megatron will outlive him!&quot;

- Ratchet, increasingly desperate to save Optimus. 


&quot;An inglorious fate that he should remain in this vegatative state...&quot;

- Starscream composes poetry about Megatron. Sound familiar? 


&quot;If this is my subconsious...''WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY HEAD?!''&quot;

-Megatron unintentionally makes us laugh.


&quot;You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.&quot;

- Starscream to Knock-Out, who evidentally doesn't remember what happened the last time Starscream's claws got close to him. 


&quot;Speak now, or forever hold your peace.&quot;

- Starscream to Soundwave as the former is about to take Megatron off life support. And Soundwave STILL won't say a word. 


&quot;I'm out... or should I say, in?&quot;

- Megatron cackles as he awakes in Bumblebee's body.

===Out of His Head===
&quot;Lucky for us Megatron was still alive. 
&lt;Bumblebee beeps&gt;
&quot;Yeah, I actually said that.&quot; 

—Arcee surprising us all. 


&quot;Hm, hm. Yes, very nice.&quot; 

—Ratchet is unimpressed with Raf's picture of his family. 


&quot;Yes! I love when a plan comes together!&quot; 

—Starscream, fan of the A-Team. 


&quot;Decepticons! Your rightful lord and master has returned!&quot; 

—Megatron reawakens. 


&quot;Megatron's greatest mistake was ever allowing you to live, Prime!&quot; 

—Starscream, a few seconds before Megatron shows up. 


&quot;Lord Megatron? You...are...you're healed! Praise the Allspark! It is a miracle!&quot;
&quot;Oh, it will be a miracle all right, Starscream, if you survive what I have planned for you!

—Starscream discovers that Megatron doesn't tolerate traitors anymore. 


&quot;But the Autobots! Optimus! Right there, waiting for you!&quot;
&quot;My greatest mistake? I've made a few. But there is one I do NOT intend to make again!&quot;

—A desperate Starscream and a surprisingly self-aware Megatron.

===Shadowzone===
&quot;You cannot harm me while Dark Energon flows through my veins!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''', seconds before Optimus blows his arm off.


&quot;I can't see without my glasses!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What are you, ninety?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Not. Helping!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;[sighs] I'll get them!&quot;
:—A glasses-less '''Raf''', a jerky '''Miko''', and a frustrated '''Jack'''.

&quot;Uhhh, Starscream, I don't quite understand how this could have happened...&quot;
&quot;And yet, it DID! Can you imagine my horror, there I am, minding my own business,  when my arm just FALLS OFF! Clearly Megatron inflicted more damage upon me than you realized...DOCTOR...&quot;

—Starscream feeds Knock Out a string of completely unbelievable lies.


&quot;How can a zombie arm move faster than the actual zombie?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't know, Miko. Must re-animated itself.&quot;

:—That's a very good question, '''Miko'''. And a good answer from '''Raf'''.


&quot;Look what I found in storage- What are you doing?&quot;
&quot;You were right, Knock Out! I'm much too attached to my original appendage. I will retrieve it.&quot;

:—Knock Out is confused when Starscream suddenly changes his mind.

&quot;Ratchet, can we triangulate the geographical position of the cell phone signal?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''In a parallel dimensional plane?!''... Let's find out.&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' poses a challenge for '''Ratchet '''.

&quot;Look, if you're going to blame anybody, blame me.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I'm sorry, could you repeat that? ...a couple dozen times?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;That's a lot of owning up.&quot;

:— '''Miko''' owns up, while '''Jack''' makes it clear he's still ticked off. And '''Ratchet''' is about to blow his top.

===Operation: Breakdown===
&quot;As much as I'll miss our little reunions... ''hammer time''.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown''' before being captured by MECH

&quot;It's a trap!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Would this be a 'roll out' kind of trap?&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' ackbars and '''Arcee''' continues to be genre savvy.


&quot;'Marco!' You're supposed to say 'Polo!'&quot;

:—'''Bulkhead''' plays with MECH.


&quot;Never run when you can fight.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown'''

&quot;One day, you will repay your debt to me, Breakdown... the day it comes time to choose sides.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
“Huh... between ‘Bots and ‘Cons?”&lt;br&gt;
“Between myself – and Megatron.”
:—'''Starscream''' informs a confused '''Breakdown''' of his plans for the future.

===Crisscross===

&quot;Ah, the mother lode.&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Government database?&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Social networking page.&quot;

:—'''Silas''' teaches '''Airachnid''' the fastest way to track down a teenager.


&quot;Now, I know we promised the spider-bot that she would have first crack at you, but something tells me she's going to turn our mutual crisscross... into a double-cross.&quot;
:—'''Silas'''


&quot;Jack, your motorcycle?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;I can explain, Mom. Wait, I already did.&quot;
:—Even with '''June Darby''' in mortal peril, '''Jack''' can still crack wise. 


&quot;Oh, not again!&quot;
:—'''Agent Fowler''' is exasperated at Decepticons copying his vehicles.


&quot;So that's how it's done.  Genius.&quot;
:—'''Silas''' on seeing how Airachnid scans a vehicle mode.


&quot;Mom, meet my science fiction club!&quot;
:—'''Jack''' introducing June to the Autobots

===Metal Attraction===
&quot;Allow me to redeem myself, master. What I have lost...is a constant reminder that I must never again fail you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' rather darkly references his new eyepatch.


&quot;I heard a rumour about a rogue 'Con. How about I hogtie you and haul you in?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' has no sympathy for those who disrespect Megatron's rule.


&quot;Where's Arcee?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Let's just say she's got your back.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Scrap.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—A confused Bulkhead, a sarcastic Miko, and an annoyed Arcee.


&quot;Still up for a truce, muscles?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Only because I hate Bulkhead more than I hate you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Airachnid''' and '''Breakdown''' decide to look at the bigger picture.


&quot;Wanna dance?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You're not my type.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Bulkhead''' and '''Airachnid''' exchange words before they go toe to toe.


&quot;Arcee, I think I owe you an apology.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You do?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I worry...especially when I feel like I can't control things—which, with a teenager, is all the time.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''June''' admits the troubles of being a single mother to '''Arcee'''.


'''Megatron''': Breakdown, you dare to return empty-handed?!&lt;br&gt;
'''Breakdown''': No, Master.&lt;br&gt;
''[Turns around, revealing Airachnid magnetized to his back]''&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Airachnid...it has been some time.&lt;br&gt;
'''Airachnid''': Lord Megatron...what can I say? It's good to be back.&lt;br&gt;
:—It would seem the Autobots have a new problem to deal with...

===Rock Bottom===
&quot;Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to see Slash Monkey?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uhh—&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''Forever!'' And it's their only U.S. date!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well, there's a shock. I mean, who doesn't love obscure Bulgarian shriek metal?&quot;
:—'''Miko''' and '''Jack''' discuss rock concerts.


&quot;She went in. Unbelievable.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Really? Have you...met her?&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' and '''Jack''' watch Miko run into the cave.


&quot;DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, STARSCREAM! I have been wise to your transgressions from the beginning. Not only did you pluck the Dark Energon from my chest in a failed attempt to snuff my spark, but you tried to raise yourself own undead warrior with it. It's no secret that you lost an arm in the process, which you've since had replaced.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You know about that?!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' and '''Starscream''' discuss the latter's endeavors.


&quot;You have ceased to be of use to me, Starscream...so you shall simply cease to be.&quot;

:—'''Megatron''', with possibly the most hardcore one-liner he's ever delivered.


&quot;Roll out.&quot;

:—'''Jack''' being genre savvy as he activates some Decepticon mining equipment.


''(In front of a collapsed mine, which Megatron was in)''
&quot;Heh heh...Haahahahaha! &quot;Predictable&quot;, ''master?'' Is that what you called me? Well, now who has hit ''rock bottom''? ...What's that? I'm sorry. I can't hear you beneath all that ''rubble''. Hahahahahaaa! Farewell, ''Lord'' Megatron! May you RUST IN PEACE!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' monologues a little, thinking Megatron is dead.


&quot;Well, what are you waiting for? Think of the glory, seize the day! Optimus would.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No, he wouldn't. Not like this.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I will be sure to share the details of our little conversation with Optimus, the day I rip out his spark!&quot;
:—A pinned '''Megatron''' is discovered by '''Jack''', who refuses to take advantage of the situation and kill him.


&quot;If you think I'm going to beg for mercy, Starscream, forget it!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Er, yes, begging for mercy would be quite pathetic, wouldn't it?&quot;
:—'''Bulkhead''' unintentionally insults '''Starscream'''.


'''Starscream:''' &quot; MASTER! PLEASE! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I BEG OF YOU!&quot;


'''Starscream:''' &quot;Master! You're alive! Thank the Allspark! &lt;i&gt;[ Megatron glares at Starscream ]&lt;/i&gt; I did not abandon you, master! I returned! To save you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron:''' &quot;Save me?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Starscream:''' &lt;i&gt;[ scared ]&lt;/i&gt; &quot;Look into my spark, Lord Megatron! My intentions were true! PLEASE! ''HAVE MERCY!!''&quot;

===Partners===
&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. I now realize I was never destined to be leader, or even an equal partner. And, I am at peace with that. I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Of who I was always meant to be. STARSCREAM: second in command, humble servant to Lord Megatron. Thank you for listening, Soundwave.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' speaks before Soundwave. Like talking to a brick wall.


&quot;Hey partner, heck of a view you got up here. If there's even a small chance your spark is out there listening, well, we could really use you, Cliff. Seems like everyday another Decepticon arrives on the scene. We're outnumbered and outgunned.  Yeah, I know what you'd say, 'Sounds like a fair fight,' and if that's the world we live in, so be it.  I just want you to know, I haven't given up. I'm going to find the Con who took you from us.&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' visiting Cliffjumper's grave, and foreshadowing all at the same time. Multi-tasking.


&quot;Oh you would do well to respect me, Airachnid. Before I joined Megatron, I was Air Commander of a squadron of Energon Seekers.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;On Cybertron, and how many eons ago was that?&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' tries to be hot, and gets burned by '''Airachnid'''


&quot;Airachnid... what I wouldn't do to get my hands around her wretched throat.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;So we can agree on one thing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Oh, you have no idea. She showed up one day and the next thing you know, she's acting like she runs the place. She whispered lies into Megatron's ear, maneuvered to remove me of my rightful place.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well... she terminated my partner.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What?! She's taking credit for scrapping him now too?! That was my doing!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What? You weren't there.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uh, of course I wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No one. Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Tailgate.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who's Tailgate?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You are the one. You extinguished Cliffjumper!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' and '''Arcee''' compare their stories on Airachnid only for Starscream to let it slip about Cliffjumper. I pity the fool.


&quot;You left Starscream with the Autobots?! Do you have any notion of the consequences of your blunder?!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;But, my lordship! It was Starscream's incompetence that cost us the Immobilizer!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't care about some trinket! My second-in-command is a prisoner of the enemy! Which means all Decepticon intelligence could be at the fingertips of the Autobots!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' rages while '''Airachnid''' watches her chances of being his new BFF vanish.


&quot;It is the external wounds which heal the quickest.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I thought settling scores would allow me to move on... instead I chased away our hope of winning this war anytime soon.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Wisdom cannot be granted, Arcee. It must be earned, sometimes at a cost.&quot;
:—'''Optimus Prime''' and '''Arcee''' on being the better 'bot.


&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Starscream: aligned with no side; servant, to no one.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' goes rogue on us.

===TMI===
Bulkhead: Hey, Ratch, check out the monster truck rally Miko took me to last week.
Miko: I compiled some highlights with my cellphone.
Ratchet: Innocent vehicles battling for the entertainment of human spectators? (shudders) Bloodsport!
Bulkhead and Miko: Yeah! 

—Ratchet disapproves of Bulkhead and Miko's taste in sports. 


&quot;Come to papa.&quot;
(Bulkhead knocks him away) &quot;Run to mommy!&quot;
(Breakdown grabs Bulkhead from behind) &quot;Say uncle! Say it!&quot;

—Knock Out, Bulkhead, and Breakdown continue with humorous mid-battle banter. 


&quot;How about our Sunday morning dune-bashings? Rocking out to Slash Monkey? Helping me with my homework? Trick question! You know I don't do homework...don't you?&quot;

—Miko is at least more subtle in her remember-who-you are monologue than Raf was. 


&quot;You...painted my paint job! Prepare for surgery!&quot;

—Knock Out really needs to sort out his priorities. 


&quot;Because the energy took Bulkhead's mind with it. Heavenward. Lost to the stars. It's my fault you'll never know the rest of the formula, and it's my fault Bulkhead's gone forever.&quot; 

—Miko pulls an Optimus on us.


===Stronger, Faster===

&quot;HOOAH!&quot;

—Ratchet gets a new catchphrase. He needed that. 


Ratchet: ''(clicks as he walks by)'' How's it hummin'?
Arcee: ... Did he just?
Bulkhead: Stronger... faster... studlier. 

—Yeah, he did. 


&quot;It's all right, I'm an emergency vehicle!&quot; [transforms]

—Ratchet, engaging the Decepticons, threatening the title holder of King of One-liners


&quot;You know your problem, Optimus? For such a big, strong 'Bot...you're SOFT. You didn't pound Megatron into scrap when you had the chance! Many chances, in fact!!&quot; 

—Ratchet under the influence of Synth-En, getting a little too close to the truth.


&quot;Yeah, she's kinda domineering and the extra arms are weird, but... I find myself intrigued by her.&quot; 

—Breakdown chats to a Vehicon about Airachnid.


''(Megatron twists Ratchet's arm, and he cries out in pain)''
&quot;Ratchet ''is'' a bit more spirited than I recollect...&quot;
&quot;Chemical enhancement, perhaps?&quot;
''(Megatron savagely rips Ratchet's chest open, causing him to bleed Synth-En. He slams Ratchet to the ground.)''
&quot;There's your laboratory sample, ''doctor''. Find out.&quot;

—Megatron talking to Knock Out, apparently forgetting that this is a kids' show.

===One Shall Fall===
&quot;And it was written in the Covenant of Primus that 'when the forty-seven spheres align, a perpetual conflict will culminate upon a world forged from chaos and the weak shall perish in the shadow of a rising darkness.'&quot; 

-Optimus Prime recites a passage of ill tidings. 

Arcee: &quot;No 'sky is raining fire'?&quot;
Ratchet: &quot;Goes without saying. It is a doom prophecy, after all.&quot;
Bulkhead: &quot;I say it's a load of hooey.&quot; 

-The Autobots' reaction to the above passage. 


&quot;Um, Optimus! You wanna see something funny?&quot;
&quot;No.&quot; 

—Jack learns of Optimus Prime's minimal sense of humor. 

&quot;Agent Fowler, I fear that Megatron's desperation may be at its zenith, and you know that I cannot condone a single human casualty.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime encourages Fowler to leave defense of the US base to the Autobots (and provides a hint of foreshadowing). 


&quot;It would seem I swatted a bee and squashed a bug.&quot; 

—Megatron, who is being a jerk. 


&quot;Does he seem to be... 'losing it'?&quot;
&quot;A bit...&quot; 

—Knock Out and Airachnid discuss Megatron's state of mind. 


&quot;Curse my Cybertronian pride! We've welcomed these humans into our lives, yet I bothered to learn so little of their science, or medicine.&quot; 

-Ratchet panics over his inability to help Raf. 


&quot;I have been foolish not to see what history has proven over and over again: that Autobots and Decepticons will never mend their ways. If there can be no diplomatic solution to this perpetual conflict, then I must not allow more darkness to fall upon this or any planet. Megatron must be destroyed!&quot; 

—It's about slaggin' time, Optimus Prime. 


&quot;I have come for Megatron, and him alone. Stand down and be spared.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime is on the warpath. Primus help us all. 


&quot;Megatron! I am here, on your ship! Come and FACE ME!&quot;

—Optimus hailing Megatron, ''using the wrist communicator of a dead Vehicon.'' Dude is ''hardcore.''


&quot;Megatron, today you answer for your crimes against Cybertron and against humanity. One shall stand...&quot;
&quot;And one shall fall. ''You'', Optimus Prime!&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Megatron, who has heard this speech before. 


&quot;Your defeat was foreseen here by the ancients. What was it they wrote? 'The weak shall perish?'&quot;
&quot;Do not believe everything you read.&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus Prime, unusually philosophical in the middle of a death-match.

===One Shall Rise part 1===
&quot;The ‘Cons killed a unicorn?&quot; ''(Awkward silence)'' &quot;White horse with a horn on its head... prances around all sparkly?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' sure knows how to lighten the mood.


'''Optimus''': June, it deeply grieves me that I have failed. But I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to our human friends – or any human – ever again.&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Optimus… they’re children. They do not belong in your world. They should be worrying about grades, prom dates, pimples – not their own survival!&lt;br&gt;
:-A spark-to-heart in which '''Optimus''' and '''June''' don't quite see eye to optic.


'''Miko''': Do you really expect me to get into a non-transforming vehicle?&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Miko, I’m serious.&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': You’re not my mother.&lt;br&gt;
'''Bulkhead''': Miko…&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': Neither are you!&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' asserts her independence - again.


&quot;...I awaken...&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Unicron''', bringing all the sinister foreboding you'll ever need.


&quot;Before the beginning... there was Primus. And, there was Unicron. One, the incarnation of creation – the other... of destruction. For eons; Primus and Unicron battled, the balance of power shifting between them more times than could be counted. Only by creating the Thirteen – the original Primes who preceded me – was Primus finally able to defeat Unicron, and cast him out. Primus became one with the very core of our planet, creating life through the Well of All Sparks, while Unicron was never to be heard from again... until now.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Optimus Prime''' tells the tale.


'''Megatron''': I feel your presence, share your very spark! I call upon you as my lord and master, oh mighty Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': ''[Rising]'' WHO DARES?&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Your servant most humble. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and the wielder of the Dark Energon which binds us. To awaken you once again. The prophecy has been fulfilled. It is only the beginning of what we shall accomplish together. For you shall rule this planet, and those who walk upon it through me.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': PRIDEFUL FOOL. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOURSELF CAPABLE OF SUMMONING MY LIFE-FORCE. I RISE BECAUSE I HAVE DEEMED IT MY TIME.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Master, I did not mean to overstep...&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': SILENCE, WORM. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR LOWLY ASSISSTANCE.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Please, my lord, I exist only to serve you.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': WHAT IS THIS I SENSE? THE TAINT OF PRIMUS? HERE?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': That is Optimus, the last of the Primes; our sworn enemy.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': YOU PROFESS LOYALTY TO ME, YET ALLOW A DISCIPLE OF PRIMUS TO LIVE?!?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': I will destroy him for you! His screams shall be heard--&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': I GROW WEARY OF YOUR PRATTLE. SURELY IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO DESTROY THIS PRIME, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. ''I'' WILL DEAL WITH HIM MYSELF.&lt;br&gt; 
:-Confronting '''Unicron''' himself, '''Megatron''' starts to feel a little like Starscream.


'''Optimus''': I humbly request your ear, Lord Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': And what would a Prime be so compelled to say to me?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': I make this appeal not for myself, but for this planet which you constitute – and the beings that inhabit it. Humankind relies upon you; for life, sustenance. Your resurrection will only result in the destruction of a species which evolved from the seeds of your very greatness.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': So this humankind of whom you speak… you consider them my progeny?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': Indeed.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': Parasites! They, too, shall know my wrathful hand – once I am finished with you!&lt;br&gt;
:-Nice try, '''Optimus''', but '''Unicron''' has never been much of a people person.


'''Unicron''': The line of Primes has grown weak in my absence. And thus, you shall fall!&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': That outcome is inevitable… but not on this day!&lt;br&gt;
(Optimus shoots the golem until it breaks. Several more then form from the surrounding rock.)&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron golems''': Yes, disciple of Primus… on this very day. For Unicron may be one… but we all are Unicron!&lt;br&gt;

===One Shall Rise part 2===
&quot;Optimus! Have you uncovered any further sign of Unicron's emergence?&quot;
&quot;Unicron is power incarnate, and you, the last of the Primes, shall perish!&quot;
&quot;I take that as a yes.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds out that Unicron has awakened 


&quot;It is rather ironic, considering our last encounter. If memory serves, you were desperately attempting to extinguish my spark.&quot;
&quot;That option remains very much in play.&quot;
&quot;I would expect nothing less!&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus talk about the good times. 


''(GroundBridge opens up next to Bulkhead, Arcee, and Bumblebee)''
&quot;Wait. We're opening up a direct path into our base with Megatron standing right there?!&quot;
&quot;And seriously, he's gonna risk his own spark to save us?&quot;
&quot;''(Laughter)'' Hardly my nature!&quot; 

—Arcee and Bulkhead doubt Megatron's motives, which he finds amusing. 


&quot;It appears our leader has abandoned us while this world erupts in chaos. I believe we must consider the possibility of a future without Megatron.&quot; 

—Airachnid fills the quota for scheming in Starscream's absence. 


&quot;So this is where the magic happens. Quaint.&quot; 

—Megatron enters the Autobot base.

===One Shall Rise part 3===
Raf: Megatron was an Autobot?
Miko:Optimus was a 'Con!?
Rachet: No, on either count. 

– The kids get confused while Ratchet gets ready to tell a tale. 


&quot;Watch out for the quiet ones…&quot; 

—Knock Out after witnessing Soundwave &quot;veto&quot; Airachnid's motion to leave Earth. 


'''Unicron''': Megatron! Destroy the Prime! I command you!
'''Megatron''': Megatron is commanded by NO ONE! Aaaaaargh!! 

– He's not wrong this time. 


Optimus: Where are we Megatronus?
Megatron: ...Don't you remember, old friend? 

– …uh, that was unexpected.

==Season 2==

===Orion Pax part 1===
:'''Megatron''': —and the first to address him as Optimus Prime will have their voice box torn out.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''': Welcome back to the winning team.

===Orion Pax part 2===
&quot;You do not suggest that our leader... would speak falsehoods?&quot;
&quot;Hahahahahaha! You...You truly are being kept in the dark, aren't you?&quot;

—Starscream, upon learning of &quot;Orion's&quot; deception. 


&quot;The Decepticon Space Bridge is located right here, deep within an energon mine.&quot;
&quot;Adjacent to a raw fuel supply, clever. What's our intel?&quot;
&quot;A... reliable source&quot;

—Ratchet talks to Arcee about their tip, without realizing he's calling a Decepticon reliable. 


&quot;Command, this is Space Bridge Control! We are under attack! Command, do you read me?&quot;
''(commlink static)''
''(Bulkhead smashes the Vehicon's face)''
&quot;Shhhh.&quot;

—A Vehicon is reminded of the no talking rule by Ratchet. 


&quot;Thank you, Starscream.&quot;
''(Bulkhead looks at Arcee)''
&quot;Who else would it have been?&quot;

—Arcee's too clever by half. 


&quot;Don't worry, Space Bridging is just like Ground Bridging.&quot;
''(Space Bridge fires up with a loud noise)''
&quot;(Shouting) JUST A LITTLE MORE INTENSE!&quot;

—Arcee tries to ease Jack's nerves about going on the big boy rides. 


&quot;Somebody say something, pronto!&quot;
&quot;Rafael, patch in Agent Fowler.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets exactly what he wants, just not what he expected. 

===Orion Pax part 3===


&quot;Why did it have to be Scraplets?&quot;

—Bulkhead channels Harrison Ford. 


&quot;Why does history portray me siding with the Autobot aggressors? And why did Starscream call me a Prime? I must know...who am I?&quot;
&quot;You are my clerk.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; questions his identity, while Megatron responds with a firm establishment of the pecking order. 


&quot;You will finish Project Iacon by the time I return...or I will carve out your spark before your very EYES.&quot;

—Megatron threatens &quot;Orion Pax&quot;. 


&quot;Hey guys—the main course!&quot;

—Jack directs the Scraplets to their other menu choices. 


&quot;That may be true, or yet another deception, but this much I do know: my sympathies lie with the Autobots, and you are not one of us!&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; to Megatron, realizing the truth. 


&quot;Are you...certain I am worthy?&quot;
&quot;You have no idea.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; and Jack. 


&quot;Megatron—be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime, before delivering the most awesome series of punches in the entire series. 


&quot;This time, he's coming with us!&quot;

—Bulkhead, keeping his crown with one-liners. 


&quot;Optimus, it has truly been our darkest hour, but know this: from every indication your spark never ceased being that of an Autobot.&quot;

—Ratchet, assuring Optimus of his virtue.

===Operation Bumblebee part 1===
&quot;The new Urbana 500. It won't just rock your world. It will transform it.&quot;

—The commercial narrator hates Bumblebee. 


&quot;You want to ride with the siren on?&quot;
&quot;No, thank you.&quot;

—Ratchet attempts to cheer up Raf. 


&quot;Still don't know how you talked me into this. You're worse than Miko.&quot;

—Bulkhead on Bumblebee's persuasiveness. 


&quot;Bumblebee, where's your famous engine power? Show me some speed!&quot;

—Knock Out, unintentionally striking a nerve.

===Operation Bumblebee Part 2===
&quot;You and I both know there exists a way to make him whole again.&quot;
&quot;A transplant. But that would require a donor.&quot;
&quot;You need look no further than the Autobot standing before you.&quot;

—Ratchet tells Optimus Prime that he is willing to make a sacrifice. 


&quot;...I think I leaked a little transmission fluid.&quot;

—Knock Out sums up how intimidating his master truly is. 


&quot;Do you ever not speak?&quot;

—Silas says what we're all thinking to Starscream. 


&quot;Mine's bigger!&quot;

—Bulkhead compares hammers with Breakdown. 


&quot;Time to jet! Because I can!&quot;

—Starscream, who really should learn to keep his mouth shut. 


&quot;I am able! Just ask Bantor! He was all mandrill untill I put a tiger in his tank!&quot;

—Delerious Ratchet, spouting random Beast Wars references.

===Loose Cannons===
&quot;Not this again!&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets his vehicle scanned by a 'Con for a third time. 


Wheeljack: You know Wreckers don't call for backup.
Wheeljack and Bulkhead: They call for clean-up!

—The remaining Wreckers provide an alternative to &quot;Wreck and Rule!&quot; 


&quot;I will be quite surprised if we ever set eyes upon Dreadwing again.&quot;

—Megatron putting his faith into his soldier. 


&quot;Sorry, Jackie. It's 'cause I love ya.&quot;

—Bulkhead shows the tough love. 


&quot;Sorry, fishies!&quot;

—Bulkhead runs towards water with a bomb attached.


&quot;So, who do we call for clean-up?&quot;

-Wheeljack being...Wheeljack

===Crossfire===
&quot;I know we've never seen ''eyes-to-eye,'' but that doesn't mean we can't ''patch'' things up.&quot;

—Airachnid baits Breakdown with extra-strength puns. 


&quot;You dare turn your back on a superior life-form? I am Commander Starscream!&quot;

—Starscream using his former position to get others to do what he wants...again. 


&quot;You and your beast would do well to remember—I honed my skills in the pits of Kaon!&quot;

—Megatron reminds all that he is not so easily beaten. 


&quot;Never trust a 'Con. Kick Buckethead's bucket!&quot;

—Bulkhead is dubious of Dreadwing's trustworthiness.


&quot;You disobeyed my orders in following me here. You will make a fine first lieutenant.&quot;

—Megatron might have finally made a good choice for second-in-command.

===Nemesis Prime===

&quot;Yes, that's it. Follow the light.&quot;
&quot;Wait, what? Not the best choice of words, Ratchet.&quot;

—Ratchet and Arcee 


&quot;I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and I bring you this message.&quot;

—Nemesis Prime steals one of Optimus's catchphrases. 


&quot;Be on your guard. My double could be anywhere.&quot;
''(Bumblebee beeps a reply)''
&quot;I'm sorry. What?&quot;

—Nemesis Prime tries and fails to fool Bumblebee. 


&quot;...But the key difference between you and me? ...''my'' body can't feel ''PAIN!''&quot;

—Silas at the controls of Nemesis Prime, right after shoving his blade through Optimus' torso.


&quot;The internal damage to his organs is massive, and beyond the scope of conventional medicine. Fortunately for our leader, MECH is anything but conventional.&quot;

—MECH Surgeon on Silas's future.

===Grill===
&quot;Soldier, too close.&quot;

—Agent Fowler doesn't like close ups of his face 


&quot;Of course, Big Foot and I don't always see eye-to-eye.&quot;

—Agent Fowler summing up his relationship with Bulkhead 


&quot;Arcee may be a bot of few words, but Bumblebee doesn't use any, that we can understand.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describes Arcee's and Bumblebee's communicative (or lack of) skills. 


&quot;General Bryce, Prime is no loose cannon. He's anything but.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describing Prime's mental state - the opposite of Wheeljack's. 


&quot;Defies all logic, Bill. Dark energon? Then you go on record saying that you believe in magical horses with horns on their heads.&quot;
&quot;What?&quot;
&quot;Do you deny previously reporting that Megatron helped defeated a unicorn?&quot;
&quot;Oh? That's what you...? Uni''cron''! The ultimate evil! Permission to strike this from the record.&quot;

—General Bryce makes the second unicron/unicorn joke in 25 years, and Agent Fowler avoids a psychological evaluation. 


Fowler: General Bryce here just needs to confirm the state of your health and welfare.&quot;
Optimus: I am fine, General Bryce. How are you?&quot;
Bryce: I am well, uh, soldier.

—Agent Fowler calls on Optimus Prime, who makes awkward smalltalk with General Bryce.

===Armada===
&quot;This is for Cliffjumper! For Bumblebee! For everything.&quot;

—Bulkhead delivers some much-deserved payback to Starscream. Well, actually his clone, but what's the difference? 


&quot;You left me no choice.&quot;

—Bulkhead pulling an Optimus. At least he didn't rip Starscream's face off.


&quot;My genetic code provides my clones with a T-Cog I no longer possess, and all I get is their agony?!&quot;

—Starscream laments over the side-effects of cloning. 


&quot;Exterminating you was so gratifying the first three times.&quot;

—Megatron approaching the last of Starscream's clones. 


&quot;When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt. You know I would extend that courtesy to you.&quot;

—Airachnid, creepy to the last. 


Bulkhead (rushing inside the Autobot's base): Guys, you are not gonna believe the day I had!
''[Bulkhead spots Airachnid in stasis, then looks at Ratchet and Arcee]''
Bulkhead: Oh, you too, huh?

—It's been a busy day for everyone. 


&quot;I feel your pain. Really I do. ''[Fires missle at his clone]'' AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHH! ''Scrap'', that hurt!&quot;

—Starscream killing the last clone.

===Flying Mind===
&quot;My own vessel dares to address me in threatening tones?!&quot;

-Megatron reacts to the Nemesis' newfound attitude.


&quot;Doc Knock is knocked out!&quot;

—Miko makes the joke we've all been waiting to hear. 


&quot;Say Ahhh!&quot; 
&quot;I'm here to offer a second opinion!&quot;
''[Ratchet punches Knock Out]''

—Knock Out's dentistry leaves something to be desired, while Ratchet gives Knock Out the hint that he might want to consider going back to medical school.

===Tunnel Vision===
*&quot;Face.&quot;

—Jack, throughout the episode. 


*&quot;Well, I've actually been in subway stations. I grew in a major metropolis. Unlike Mr. 'I've never been outside of Jasper, Nevada'.&quot;
*&quot;I have been to Cybertron.&quot;
*&quot;Cybertron doesn't have subways! ... Does it?&quot;

—Miko's argument against Jack soon falls short. 


*Knock Out: &quot;You have lovely features. Perfect for a painful little procedure I like call the nip and tuck.&quot;
*Arcee dodges, and kicks Knock Out
*Arcee: &quot;Dodge and kick.&quot;
*Arcee runs for the relic, but gets plugged in the back by Knock Out's prod
*Knock Out: &quot;Shock and drop.&quot;

—Knock Out and Arcee carry on witty repartee. 


*&quot;You scratch my face, I scratch yours!&quot;
*Arcee and Bumblebee cock their blasters*

—Knock Out tries and fails to reference a previous episode. 


*Vogel watches the Autobots and kids leave*
&quot;Robots who turn into vehicles.&quot;
*Vogel turns to look at his sweeper train*

—We've all done it before, Vogel.

===Triangulation===
&quot;Faster, you pathetic excuse for transportation!&quot;

—That's not gonna work, Starscream. 


&quot;What a team we make! I am so glad that you prevailed, Optimus Prime! That wretch Dreadwing was going to terminate me! Now, if you could just remove my bonds, I can lead you straight to the relic.&quot;
''Optimus cocks his blaster''
&quot;You will lead me there regardless.&quot;
&quot;Hmph! You're welcome!&quot;

—An excited Starscream and a totally thankful Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Are we ''really'' going to stand out here in the freezing cold, completely at the mercy of ''human bureaucracy?''&quot;

—Starscream is incredulous at the thought.


&quot;I haven't had this much fun since I punched that hole in Cliffjumper!&quot;

—Starscream really doesn't know when to shut up about that. 


&quot;I will beat the living spark out of you, just so I will never again have to hear you pontificating!&quot;

—Starscream says what he thinks of Optimus Prime's speech pattern. 


''[Evil laugh]'' &quot;That tickled! *Evil laugh* Fools! Not only am I intelligent, I am INVINCIBLE!&quot;
&quot;Yet you cannot fly!&quot;
&quot;Nobody's perfect!&quot;

—Starscream and Optimus Prime, the former enjoying the suit a little too much. 


&quot;Cowards! You will not escape my might! ''[beat]'' Wait... ''[beat]'' You two are up to something!&quot;

—Starscream being genre savvy.

===Triage===
“I'll be sure to be on my best behavior, Doc.&quot;
&quot;Please don't call me 'Doc'.&quot;
&quot;Whatever you say, Sunshine.&quot;

—Wheeljack pulls out a rather unfitting nickname for Ratchet.


&quot;Wait a minute, a grenade inside of Laserbeak, inside of Soundwave? Like a turducken!&quot;
&quot;I'm sorry?&quot;
&quot;It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a... never mind.&quot;

—Raf fails to enlighten Ratchet.


&quot;Any last words?&quot;
&quot;...&quot;
&quot;Right... silent type.&quot;

—Wheeljack remembers only too late that Soundwave ISN'T going to say anything.


(Weakly)&quot;...Doc?&quot;
&quot;Wheeljack, I TOLD you not to call me that!&quot;
&quot;...I'm sorry...&quot;
&quot;...What's wrong? Where are you?&quot;
&quot;...You have...two minutes...&quot;

—Ratchet knows something's wrong when an injured Wheeljack apologizes over the comlink.

===Toxicity===
&quot;I can has cheeseburger!&quot;

— Yes, Agent Fowler actually said that. 


&quot;Leave it to Megatron to send a bug to do his dirty work.&quot;
&quot;You would know a thing or two about dirty work yourself, Wrecker.&quot;

— Bulkhead receives a &quot;right-back-at-you&quot; from Hardshell. 


&quot;Now, you see, the thing about bugs your size: They make a bigger mess when I SMASH 'EM!&quot;

— Bulkhead being true to his wrecking nature.


&quot;Come on soldier, dump that rock and come on home!&quot;

—Fowler coaxes Bulkhead through his grueling mission.

===Hurt===
(Buffing his paintjob) &quot;Detailing was so much easier when Breakdown was around!&quot;

—Knock Out gives fangirls an inch. 


&quot;Wheeljack. The one who enjoys...explosive devices.&quot;

—Megatron, describing more Wheeljacks than one. 


&quot;Talk during battle is a sign of weakness.&quot;
&quot;Only when you're too primitive to do two things at once.&quot;

—Hardshell and Wheeljack exchange smack talk. 


&quot;I thought I told you to hit autopilot.&quot;
&quot;Bad things happen to bots when I leave their side.&quot;

—Wheeljack shows concern for Miko, who is not entirely wrong. 


&quot;The Autobot did THIS?!&quot;
&quot;No, my lord... it was... a human... girl.&quot;

— Megatron quickly learns that some humans make good on the promises they make.

===Out of the Past===
&quot;So this is Kaon, huh? Love what you Decepticons have done with the place. The ruins are especially picturesque.&quot;

—Cliffjumper.


&quot;Your reasoning is hardly...logical.&quot;

—Shockwave channels Mr. Spock.


&quot;Surrender the encryption code, and I will see to it that you perish quickly.&quot;
''(Arcee mumbles something under her breath)''
&quot;Speak up. I can't hear you when you ''whimper''.&quot;
&quot;...Get. '''Fragged'''.&quot;

—Starscream tries to intimidate Arcee, but all he gets is a scathing Cybertronian expletive. 


&quot;While it often pains me, I do TRY to be a team player.&quot;

—Starscream, telling us what we already know.


&quot;Funny. At first I didn't think I'd ever get used to Cliff's constant chatter. Now...there's nothing louder to me than the silence.&quot;

—Arcee mourns her fallen partner.

===New Recruit===
&quot;The tap-dancing monkey strikes again!&quot;

—Jack on Raf's latest anti-Bumblebee-sighting hack. 


&quot;Puh-lease! Isn't having three humans here enough?!&quot;
''Everyone stares at Ratchet in disbelief''

-Ratchet finally speaks his mind on Jack, Miko and Raf.


&quot;All these Cons came out of one pod?&quot;
&quot;Humans refer to the phenomenon as a 'clown car'!&quot;

—Arcee asks a question, and Ratchet offers an explanation. 


Miko: What's your story, Smoke? Where did you come from? How did you get here? How many blasters are you packing?
Smokescreen: So these are the lifeforms we're supposed to protect? Are they all like this?
Ratchet: Fortunately not.

—Smokescreen meets Miko. 


&quot;The Red Energon is mine, humans, for you are powerless in the face of the mighty Star- What? Where is it?!&quot;

—Starscream's melodramatic entrance is deflated. 


&quot;Any last words, Smokescreen?&quot;
&quot;Just four—kiss your armor goodbye!&quot;

—Starscream gets a last warning from Smokescreen before literally getting his tailpipe kicked. 


&quot;You aren't the only one sporting a fancy wrist-mounted device!&quot;

—Starscream on his fancy rockets.

===The Human Factor===

&quot;Thank you all for your dedication and a lifetime of service. But I now seem more suited to keep the exclusive company...of titans.&quot;

—&quot;Cylas&quot;, just before brutally killing his own men. And this is a ''kids' show?''


&quot;Bulkhead! I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot;

—Ratchet still hasn't learned that saying that phrase won't change anything. 


Jack: You've got to be kidding, Raf! You of all people, grounded?
Raf: Big time. I misplaced some homework and blew a couple of tests.
Miko: Translation, A- instead of A.

—Miko thinks Raf is Mr. Perfect when it comes to school, unlike herself. 


&quot;This is the ''human'' who dissected Breakdown!&quot;
''Knock Out activates his circular saw''
&quot;Please, my liege...allow me to return the favor.&quot;

—Knock Out, finally confirming the fans' belief that he does care about his former partner. 


Megatron: Cylas, you have earned your place at the table.
Cylas: Lord Megatron, I am honored.
Megatron: Knock Out's dissection table!
Knock Out: Breakdown would be tickled.

-CYLAS learns the hard way that there is always a bigger fish.

===Legacy===
:'''Megatron''': It cannot be. Power of this magnitude must never be allowed to fall into the hands of Optimus Prime no matter what. ... 
:'''Megatron''':We Decepticons... now face our darkest hour.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Smokescreen''':How ''epic'' was that?

===Alpha; Omega===
&quot;So, did Alpha Trion ask about me?&quot;

—Smokescreen 


&quot;Yeah, I don't think I'd ever wanna leave Miko&quot;
&quot;We've made friends here. Family.&quot;
&quot;We could always... 'text' them.&quot;

—Bulkhead, Arcee, and Ratchet. 


&quot;At last we take our rightful places, Optimus, as gods, wielding the power of the cosmos.&quot;
&quot;I am but a soldier, Megatron, and you are a prisoner of your own twisted delusions.&quot;

—Megatron and Optimus Prime exchange banter during battle.

===Hard Knocks===
&quot;Last one to the Omega Key has to scrub the Energon tanks for a week.&quot;
&quot;Didn't know we were keeping score.&quot;

—Smokescreen and Arcee 


&quot;Who knew that ''sound waves'' could be such a ''knock out?''&quot;

—See what Knock Out did there? 


&quot;How is it possible that ''speed-enhancing'' Energon takes longer to process than ''regular'' Energon?&quot;

—Starscream learns how cruel irony is.


&quot;Make sure you keep an eye on 'destiny's child', okay?&quot;
&quot;Compared to watching Miko? Piece of cake!&quot;

—Arcee giving Bulkhead some advice on handling the rookie. 


&quot;You love doing your dirty work from a distance, don't ya? Too bad you don't have the ball bearings to fight up close and personal!&quot;

—Bulkhead gives Dreadwing some smack talk using an eyebrow-raising anatomic euphemism.

===Inside Job===

:'''Knock Out''': The question is, what are you still packing?
''Knock Out scans Smokescreen to find the Key within him. 
'''Knock Out''': Why, hidden treasure, of course!

:'''Megatron''': Tell me the function of these relics.&quot;

:'''Starscream''': Oh, how prudent it would be to gut you. ''To gut all of you''...but first! Where does Optimus keep his key ring?

:'''Optimus''' (in slow motion)
'''Starscream''': I'm sorry, what was that? (mocks with garbled speech) You Autobots think you're so superior. But you know what you really are? SLOW! 

'''Knock Out''': I beg of you, my liege! Release me from this absurd predicament! (Referring to being trapped in the wall. 
'''Megatron''': No. You shall serve as a reminder to those who dare fail me! 
-Megatron believes a little humbling is in order for Knock Out.

:'''Megatron''': I cannot allow Optimus Prime to be the one to revive Cybertron! We WILL find the Autobot base, invade it, and retrieve the Omega Keys!
''Starscream appears''
'''Starscream''': Been there, done that. Please pardon my unannounced visit, Lord Megatron. But I come bearing peace offering. 
''Starscream bears all four Omega Keys''
-Starscream proves his mettle.

===Patch===
:'''Megatron''':Few things of value come without a price.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''':Megatron sure knows how to 'patch' things up, eh, Dreadwi-- ''[turns around to see that Dreadwing has disappeared]'' Dreadwing?

===Regeneration===
&quot;Rise and shine! Your T-Cog transplant was a success! Yes, I am just that good.&quot; 

—Knock Out being modest about his surgery skills for a change. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': Wait, this is about Skyquake, isn't it?! I thought we had put that behind us!
:'''Dreadwing''': So have I!
:'''Starscream''': Casualties are unfortunate consequence of war! But I assure you, your twin met his end with great honor!
:'''Dreadwing''': WHICH YOU DISGRACED BY RAISING HIM FROM THE DEAD!
:'''Starscream''': Oh, you know about that... There must be something I can do! Some form of reparation I can offer you to alleviate your anguish!
:'''Dreadwing''': YOUR SPARK WILL SUFFICE!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
&quot;I said stand down! That is an order.&quot;
&quot;One which I cannot follow.&quot; 

—Megatron gives his last order to Dreadwing, who gives his last words.


&quot;I'm okay?... I'M OKAY! ''(laughs)'' Lord Megatron, you have my eternal thanks!&quot;
&quot;Do not ''ever'' make me regret which one of you I spared.&quot;

—Starscream and Megatron, right after the latter blows a hole through Dreadwing's chest.


&quot;Oh gee, why didn't I think of that?&quot; 

—Knock Out lamenting on Starscream's intelligence as he bashes an Omega Key against the table. 


&quot;Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime makes the obligatory G1 shoutout. 


&quot;I will have those keys or I will have your sparks!&quot;
&quot;I can help with the last part.&quot; 

—Smokescreen verbally beats Megatron one more time. 


&quot;What crawled up his tailpipe and died?&quot; 

—Miko on Ratchet's curt reply.

===Darkest Hour===
:'''Starscream''': PRIME! He will pay for dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk!
:'''Megatron''': ''[lets out a dark chuckle, which becomes manic laughter]'' They can run, but they can never again run ''home.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bulkhead''': Optimus... destroyed the Omega Lock.
:'''Ratchet''': ''What?!'' You did--?!
:'''Optimus Prime''': What was necessary. There was no time for another prolonged battle. Not with Earth in imminent danger.
:'''Ratchet''': So you destroyed the ''only'' device in ''any'' universe capable of restoring our home?! Optimus... we needed that.
:'''Smokescreen''': You weren't there, Doc. And it's not your place to second-guess a battlefield decision.
:'''Ratchet''': IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! THERE ''HAD'' TO BE ANOTHER WAY!
:'''Jack''': It wasn't that simple, Ratchet.
:'''Raf''': Megatron was using the Omega Lock to attack the Earth.
:'''Miko''': Optimus saved our planet!
:'''Ratchet''': WHAT ABOUT ''OUR'' PLANET?! All of our struggles, and energon spilled, and countless sacrifices - for ''nothing?!''
:'''Arcee''': Right decision or wrong, what's done is done. But we have another problem here on ''this'' world. The Cons just changed the rules when they put Jack, Miko and Raf into play.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Megatron''': Our opportunity to revive Cybertron has been lost, due to the treachery of Optimus Prime! But from our fortress of New Kaon, we will instead seize control of ''this'' world! DECEPTICONS! TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!
:'''Starscream''': I thought he'd never ask! Attack my armada! Attack! Attack! ATTACK! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': This is the place, all right.
:'''Megatron''': This ''was'' the place.
:'''Starscream''': United, we stand. Divided, they fall.

==Season 3: Beast Hunters==

===Darkmount, NV===
&quot;Agent Fowler, I admit that war brings out the worst in me, but the conflict with the Autobots is now over, and our quarrel has never been with your kind. Now that the one true enemy of the Decepticons is no more, my only wish is to coexist on this planet with the human race... peacefully. Together, Agent Fowler, I believe that you and I can make that dream a reality.&quot;

—Megatron on the phone. 


&quot;Earth is our planet now, Starscream, and we shall finish what we started. Humankind has no idea what lies ahead for them.&quot;

—Megatron off the phone. 


&quot;He's feedin' me a load of horse puckey, trying to crush our spirit.&quot;

—Agent Fowler is not buying what Megatron is selling. 


&quot;How long does it take to exterminate a lone Autobot and her human pet?!&quot;

&quot;Well, in my experience-&quot;

&quot;''Not'' a riddle, Starscream.&quot;

&quot;Sorry.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream

===Scattered===
&quot;I find your reply to be... logical.&quot;

—Shockwave's response to Starscream's explanation. Or should we say ''Spock''wave?


&quot;Careful, Starscream. You may dislocate a landing gear patting yourself on the back.&quot;

—Knock Out echoes the audience's feelings about Starscream's &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; noise.

===Prey===
Miko: A dragon?! Where did the 'Cons get a dragon?!

[Bulkhead and Wheeljack look at each other]

Bulkhead and Wheeljack: What's a dragon?

Miko: Giant, flying, fire-breathing lizard!

— Mythology 101 with the Wreckers. 


&quot;Yes! Snuff the Tragic Dragon!&quot;

—Miko making a funny quip. 


&quot;Ultra Magnus? It's an honor!&quot;

&quot;It's an honor, sir.&quot;

—Bulkhead meets Ultra Magnus who insists even praise follow proper etiquette. 


&quot;What is it now, &quot;Lord&quot; Megatron?&quot;

—Agent Fowler must be getting a LOT of calls from Megatron. 


&quot;Autobots, take your pick.&quot;

&quot;Now you're speaking my language...''sir.''&quot;

—Ultra Magnus learns that the way to Wheeljack's respect is through his trigger finger.

===Rebellion===
&quot;Looks like we'll have to sneak past enemy lines, Wrecker style.&quot;

&quot;I couldn't deal with 'Wrecker style' back on Cybertron, and I refuse to deal with it here.&quot;

—Wheeljack wants to go Wrecker style, but Ultra Magnus CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT RIGHT NOW. 

&quot;Starscream! Explain why my forces are scattering across this globe.&quot;

&quot;Renegade Autobot mischief, Lord Megatron. I am in the process of deducing how they are infiltrating our communications system without a base of-&quot;

(Soundwave gets their attention and shows where.)

&quot;The Harvenger.&quot;

&quot;You left abandoned Decepticon technology fully operational and UNSECURED?!&quot;

-Megatron being angry at Starscream's incompetence once again.

&quot;This isn't how the story's supposed to end.&quot;

—Smokescreen giving a middle finger to the tried and true leadership inheritance patterns. 


&quot;I know that color scheme.&quot;

—Starscream noticing Optimus's new look, as he's coming to Darkmount. YOU KNOW THAT AUTOBOT!!!!


Optimus Prime: Commander?

Ultra Magnus: Sir, you are looking... robust.

—The Autobot higher-ups have a little chat. 


&quot;Megatron, be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime gives Megatron a reminder of a past beating. 


&quot;Soundwave, I require a Ground Bridge.&quot;

—Good timing, Shockwave. 


&quot;Awww, I missed it!&quot;

—Bad timing, Smokescreen. 


Ratchet: Is it true the Forge has been drained of its power? Then any hope of rebuilding the Omega Lock has truly been lost.

Smokescreen: I... did what I felt was right.

Ratchet: And your instincts once have again proven to be quite sound.

—Ratchet and Smokescreen on the Forge Solus Prime

===Project Predacon===
&quot;What were you thinking, soldier?&quot;

&quot;I was thinking Bulkhead could catch that lob.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack air their grievances like mature adults who hate each other. 


&quot;I was nearly a Prime, but somehow I'm still a rookie.&quot;

—Smokescreen bemoans the show's return to status quo. 


Raf: They're like Earth's dinosaurs.

Jack: Which means for you guys, running into one would be like us meeting a T-Rex.

Miko: So, then what were Dinobots?

Bulkhead: Totally different.

—Predacon discussion leads to a wink and a nod. 


&quot;Autobots, we must become Beast Hunters.&quot;

—Optimus Prime sees the writing on the package--Er, wall. 


&quot;Pfft. Another scavenger hunt?&quot;

—Starscream says the audience's line for us. 


&quot;How logical would it really be to locate all the dusty remains of your former pets?&quot;

&quot;You are not suggesting that I would send my creations to a distant planet without first having them microchipped?&quot;

&quot;Well, I-- Well, I was. But...seriously? You did?&quot;

—Starscream is shut down by Shockwave. 


&quot;Um... what's a kilt?&quot;

&quot;Agent Fowler can at times be oblique. I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime on Earth culture, proving again that the best comedy comes from having no sense of humor. 

===Chain of Command===

&quot;Wrecker Fact #17?&quot;
&quot;'Guards never look up'.&quot;

—A trope-savvy Wheeljack and Bulkhead


Ultra Magnus: And what could have possibly compelled you to bring the native?
[Wheeljack thinks back to just before they left the Autobot base]
Miko: Yo. Can I come with?
Wheeljack: Why not?
&quot;Are your circuits impaired, soldier?&quot;
&quot;Prime told you to lead the Wreckers on this one. I assumed he meant all of them.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack argue over Miko's Wrecker status.


&quot;Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Even the strongest armor can't protect the weakest of creatures.&quot;
&quot;It protected you, didn't it?&quot;

—Starscream's gonna need some ice after that burn.


&quot;You do know that I vanquished Cliffjumper, don't you?&quot;
&quot;Big whoop. I snuffed Hardshell.&quot;

—Starscream finally gets his &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; boast shut down by Miko.

===Plus One===
&quot;I wondered what was taking so long with those sodas.&quot;

—Raf has gotten used to Miko's disappearances. 


&quot;I didn't choose 'emergency' as my vehicle mode for laughs.&quot;

—Ratchet, the Autobots' secret weapon. 


Wheeljack: Know what I love most about Vehicon troopers?

Arcee: They're easily distracted.

—Wrecker Fact #[Insert Number Here] on henchbots. 


&quot;I'll have you know, Nurse Darby, I was an Army Ranger and federal agent for Unit:E three decades before I ever heard the name 'Optimus Prime'.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gives June his credentials. 


Megatron: Knock Out, do not return empty-handed.

Knock Out: Moi? Don't know the meaning of the word.

Starscream: Isn't 'empty-handed' two words?

Knock Out: You would know. Or did your missing armor turn up?

—Knock Out and Starscream try to impress the boss with a game of &quot;so there&quot;s. 


&quot;Knock Out to Lord Megatron. I have secured one vintage Predacon talon. Plus, two of the Autobots' pets, for you to employ as hostages, lab experiments...well, any way you see fit. So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than Starscream.&quot;

[Comm static]

&quot;My liege? Hello?&quot;

[More static]

&quot;Too familiar?&quot;

—Knock Out gets the wrong idea from the communications blackout. 


&quot;Frankly, I find it repulsive. The whole idea of you fleshies...interfacing.&quot; [Shudders]

—Knock Out does not approve of humans Powerlinxing. 


&quot;Bromance trumps romance.&quot;

— Jack has it figured out. 

===Thirst===
&quot;My, my, my. Whatever have you been inflicting upon poor Cylas?&quot;

&quot;Ha! Well, anything that merits the need for a living petri dish.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out laugh over Cylas' misfortune. 


Megatron: [Talking to Shockwave over comm] Tell me of the Predacon protoforms. What is the status of their incubation? Mm-hm. Uh-huh.

Starscream: Master, if I do say so myself, I have made the most intriguing discovery. It appears that--

Megatron: Not now! [Back to Shockwave] Please continue, Shockwave. No, no one important.

—Megatron doesn't like to be interrupted when he's on the phone. 


&quot;Do you think he's actually trying to--?&quot;

&quot;Suck out our energon with that thing? Sure seems that way.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss Cylas' fancy new tongue. 


Starscream: Megatron will undoubtedly hold us responsible.

Knock Out: But...WE ARE!

Starscream: Well, you are, mostly.

—Starscream blames someone else, news at 11. 


&quot;Aim for the head!&quot;

&quot;What? How do you know?&quot;

&quot;I've seen human horror films.&quot; [Starscream looks at him curiously] &quot;At drive-in theaters!&quot;

—Knock Out schools Starscream on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. 


&quot;You know the worst part? After battling Autobots all these years, getting smacked down, shot at, blown up, this is how our lights go out?&quot;

-Knock Out getting retrospective on us. This sounds familiar... 


&quot;If this is indeed the end, if we are to become Terrorcon-chow, it has been an honor serving Lord Megatron with you.&quot;

&quot;You're no Breakdown. Though I must confess, I have always admired your lustrous finish.&quot;

[Awkward pause]

&quot;Well, then.&quot;

&quot;Should be going.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out begin a beautiful friendship… 


[To Knock Out] &quot;Allow me to handle this.&quot; [To Megatron] &quot;It's Knock Out's fault!&quot;

&quot;Precisely, my-- WHAT?!?&quot;

—…which ends moments later when Starscream jumps at the first opportunity to throw Knock Out under the bus. 


&quot;Let me just say, you have been awarded more chances for redemption than anyone in Decepticon history!&quot;

—Next contestant, Megatron from Kaon. Special subject, the obvious. 


&quot;Silas? Whatever have they done to you? But more importantly, thank you for freeing me.&quot;

&quot;No. Thank…you… [Dies]

&quot;Whatever.&quot;

—Airachnid is unmoved by Cylas' final words. 


&quot;Soundwave! I vow that on this day, the world will hear the sound of your screams.&quot;

—Airachnid's mouth writes a check that her abdomen can't cash. 

===Evolution===
&quot;Strike me again, and I will bury that rod in your spark.&quot;

—Predaking speaks his first words. 


&quot;Your vision... is boundless.&quot;

—Megatron considers whether his former pet might become a future rival. 


&quot;The moment our 'Royal Highness' realizes that his army possesses greater might than what currently remains of the Decepticons...&quot;

&quot;Evolution will give way to revolution.&quot;

—Megatron mocks Predaking's name and Starscream knows a potential coup when he sees one. 


&quot;Blow these beasts back to the Rust Age.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus adds an entire new article to the Wiki. 


&quot;Optimus. When we spoke earlier...what could be greater than an army?&quot;

&quot;A human concept, one I have learned since coming to Earth: family.&quot;

—Optimus Prime imparts wisdom; Ultra Magnus is no longer able to applaud. 

===Minus One===
&quot;Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another? Master?!&quot;

&quot;I'm thinking.&quot;

—Starscream discovers that Megatron has been reading The Hands-Off Manager. 


&quot;I am tempted to force you to share my perception of things.&quot;

—Shockwave really hates or really loves having one eye, as he tells Starscream. 


&quot;Exemplary teamwork.&quot;

—Megatron, after Starscream convinces Shockwave not to share his perspective. 


&quot;It has taken me quite some time to fully comprehend that Earth and Cybertron have always been linked. Two halves of one whole; Primus and Unicron. And that to rule only one, would be to never truly rule either.&quot;

—Megatron on the significance of Earth. 


&quot;Whoa. Optimus Prime, the remix.&quot;

—Miko comments on Soundwave's DJ skills. 


&quot;Soundwave superior, Autobots inferior.&quot;

—Soundwave paraphrases a little-known line from an obscure movie. 


&quot;Can't we throw a tarp over him? He's creeping me out.&quot;

&quot;Yeah, it's like he's watching. No matter where you go.&quot;

—Bulkhead and Smokescreen are intimidated even by a deactivated Soundwave. 

===Persuasion===
&quot;This is no place for a one-handed Autobot.&quot;

&quot;I'll take one bum hand over one good eye any day.&quot;

—Shockwave and Ultra Magnus trade politically incorrect barbs. 


&quot;Humans. Always the weak link.&quot;

—Starscream showing that he still doesn't quite get it. 


&quot;Ratchet didn't think this new hand he built for me was good enough. But I'll tell you what truly isn't good enough: giving up.&quot;

—Keep practicing those speeches, Ultra Magnus, profundity will come someday. 


Ratchet: Megatron, you would just try to conquer Cybertron all over again, and enslave anyone who refuses to pledge allegiance to you.

Megatron: Of course I would!

—Decepticon or not, Megatron has little use for guile. 


Ratchet: What assurance do I have that you would leave humankind be, and that you wouldn't instantly terminate me once you get what you need?

Megatron: None whatsoever. After all, we both know that as a Decepticon, any assurances I might offer would be worthless.

—Seriously, Megatron is crazy honest about lying. 


&quot;Miko, I needed that!&quot;

—Raf hangs around Ratchet entirely too much. 


Megatron: It will not take long for this Omega Lock's drives to be fully operational. All that is still needed to restore our home is the cybermatter to launch through it.

Ratchet: Which requires a stabilized formula for the production of synthetic energon.

Megatron: I have every confidence in you, doctor.

Ratchet: I'll do it. But then you already knew that, didn't you?

—Ratchet makes a deal with the aptly named Megatron, after which one can only hope that he has Daniel Webster on speed dial. 

===Synthesis===
&quot;Starscream, you did destroy the Autobot base, did you not?&quot;

&quot;With great fervor, my lord. Why do you ask?&quot;

&quot;Because Laserbeak's frequency has been detected on radar.&quot;

&quot;But that's not possible. He's right here in Soundwave's torso.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream with a sentence you can only get from Transformers. 


[Over comm] &quot;Lord Megatron. There's been a situation... more like an accident, really—&quot;

&quot;Spit. It. OUT!&quot;

—Knock Out knows Megatron likes to shoot the messenger, but Megatron is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. 


&quot;At last. Good riddance to a wretched species.&quot;

&quot;Although I will say they manufacture some fine-looking automobiles.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out debate the merits of Earth. 


&quot;Why would my liege wish to destroy us?&quot;

&quot;Having just been on the receiving end of your might, one theory springs to mind. Megatron ''fears'' you.&quot;

—Predaking is confused by Ratchet's news of Megatron's betrayal. Maybe it was calling yourself a king that did it. 


&quot;Is it true that ''you'' ordered the annihilation of my army?!&quot;

&quot;Indeed. And my only mistake was not seeing the extermination through.&quot;

—Predaking learns that Megatron doesn't fear him quite so much as Ratchet thought.

===Deadlock===
&quot;Pack light. Pack light! [Finds his rotary buffer] Oh! Pack smart!&quot; 

—Knock Out, not needing to be told that cowards survive. 


&quot;You took my voice. You will never rob anyone of anything ever again.&quot; 

—Bumblebee, getting payback at last.
 

&quot;I will avenge you, Master!&quot;

[Shockwave grabs him]

&quot;Starscream, do not be a fool!&quot;

[They flee as Starscream resists]

&quot;Curse you and your logic!&quot; 

—Starscream and Shockwave debate the merits of revenge. 


&quot;Bumblebee...&quot;

&quot;Your voice...&quot;

&quot;My voice? What're you g-...My voice!&quot;

[grabs Ratchet in a great big hug]

&quot;Ratchet! I have my pipes back!&quot;

&quot;Errhmm, y-yes! Yes we noticed!&quot; 

—Ratchet, Arcee, and Bumblebee in a crazy-happy moment. Admit it, you smiled too. 


&quot;Rrrgh, your elbow articulator is digging into my lateral flexer!&quot;

&quot;Do you intend to whine for the duration of the voyage?&quot;
 
—Starscream and Shockwave get used to each other's company. This is going to be a long trip. 


&quot;Ah, such luster.&quot;

[Autobots stare in disbelief]

&quot;What? I'm joining the winning team.&quot; 

—Knock Out proves once again just how self-important he really is, right before Miko shuts him up. 


&quot;Raf...&quot;

&quot;I know Bee. You don't have to say anything.&quot;

&quot;I never did.&quot; 

—Raf and Bumblebee share their last exchange...for now. 


&quot;Until we meet again, old friend...&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet also share their last exchange, and in a way, to us. 

==Film==
{{Main|Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Transformers animated TV shows|Prime]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Discovery Family shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>q9opftdjmcg0xk3vbyqi8fs4lfbb6pn</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154796</id>
      <parentid>3154792</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:34:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Season 3: Beast Hunters */</comment>
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      <text bytes="77762" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{otherusesof|Transformers|Transformers}}
'''''[[w:Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime]]''''' is one of several animated television series featuring the [[w:Transformers (toy line)|Transformers toy line]].
{{tv-cleanup|2011-02-06}}

==Season 1==

===Darkness Rising, Part One===

:''[Bumblebee arrives.]''
:'''Jack Darby:''' Friend of yours?
:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]:''' Family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Raf Esquivel:''' What are they?
:'''Jack Darby:''' Talking cars that turn into robots. Or the other way around.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
 
:'''Raf''': So, if you guys are robots, who made you...?
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Ugh! Puh-leez... 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 

:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': We are autonomous robotic organisms, from the planet Cybertron...
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Decepticons! I have returned.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 2===
:''[To the newly returned Megatron.]''
:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Then, as your humble servant, shall I ready the space bridge to bring forth the Decepticon army you have ''surely'' gathered during your three years in space?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:''[Megatron has tested the Dark Energon on a deceased Cliffjumper, resulting in an out-of-control zombie.]''
:'''Starscream''': THAT'S YOUR PLAN?!! BRING AUTOBOTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO ATTACK US?!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Ratchet is arguing against keeping the humans at the base.]''
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers_Prime|Ratchet]]''': They have no protective shell! If they get underfoot, they will go...squish.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Bulkhead_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Bulkhead]]''': Team Prime knows when to use force, and how much to use!
:''[Bulkhead crushes a tool in his fist]''
:'''Ratchet''': Bulkhead, I ''NEEDED'' THAT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Megatron studies the Dark Energon.]''
:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Blood of Unicron, how I might fathom the depths of your mystery, become worthy of wielding your astonishing power!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Miko Nakadai''': Robots who get dizzy?
:'''Raf Esquivel''': Robots with emotions....
:'''Jack Darby''': Robots...who can ''die''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Jack Darby''': Well, if I don't call my mom, like, now, I'm pretty sure the cops will be out looking for me.
:'''Optimus Prime''': Have you broken a law?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]''': Grab your helmet, it's go time.
:'''Jack Darby''': Aww, it's ''Saturday''!
:'''Arcee''': You can watch cartoons back at base with Bumblebee.
:'''Jack Darby''': Tchh. Cartoons? I'm sixteen. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 3===
&quot;I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot; 

—Ratchet's tools suffer further abuse... from one of his already abused tools. 


&quot;I fear that when our master reached for the stars, he came down with a touch of... space madness.&quot; 

—Starscream, ever ready to undermine Megatron. 


&quot;Besides, Ratchet hasn't been in the field since the war.&quot;
&quot;My pistons may be rusty, but my hearing is sharp as ever!&quot; 

—Arcee, on Ratchet's current military qualifications. 


&quot;Rise my army! Behold! &lt;big&gt;'''''The Power of DARK ENERGON!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;

—Megatron raising the dead

===Darkness Rising, Part 4===

&quot;Megatron has desecrated the resting place of our fallen ancestors... and his own!&quot;
&quot;Not even the dead are free from his war-mongering.&quot; 

—Ratchet states the obvious in a slightly novel way while Optimus rues the depth of Megatron's evil. 


&quot;I wouldn't.&quot;
&quot;Oh, but I ''might''...&quot; 

—Arcee threatens Starscream, who doesn't feel very threatened. 


&quot;I like pie. Can we stop for pie?&quot;

&quot;You found Fowler! ROCK ON!&quot; 

—Delerious Fowler and Miko.


&quot;No point in long good-byes. Here's the door.&quot; 

—Ratchet fights back the tears as Jack prepares to leave.


&quot;I ordered you to await my command! Instead, your mindless agenda resulted in the disabling of my ship, and the delay of my plans!&quot;
&quot;My intentions were pure, master. I only wanted you to be rid of Optimus—&quot;''(Megatron slams his foot on Starscream's face)''
&quot;NO ONE RIDS ME OF OPTIMUS PRIME BUT ''ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! ''DO YOU?!''&quot;
''(Choking)'' &quot;Lord Megatron, I will make things right, I swear! I know how to set your plans back on course...!&quot;
''(Megatron picks him up by the throat)''
&quot;Explain, Starscream. '''''Quickly'''''.&quot;

—Megatron raging, Starscream groveling.


&quot;I've been raised to be responsible. To my schoolwork, to my mom, my job.&quot; 

—The Spectacular Jack Darby


&quot;Optimus, these are engineering specs for a space-time vortex generator.&quot;
&quot;Megatron is building a space-bridge. If he hasn't already.&quot;
&quot;The sooner he leaves, the better.&quot;
&quot;Bulkhead, a space-bridge runs in two directions. Megatron may not be trying to ''leave'' Earth, but to bring through his conquering army.&quot;
&quot;The ''main event'' Megatron referred to? But the only place Megatron could possibly recruit that many fallen warriors...&quot;
&quot;Precisely...CYBERTRON.&quot;

-The Autobots have a sudden realization.

===Darkness Rising, Part Five===
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Optimus, if you leave me stranded on a planet teeming with humans, I will never forgive you. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Optimus Prime never disappoints. Unlike YOU, Starscream!  
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Surely, Lord Megatron, the Autobots are up to something.
:'''Megatron''': ''[sarcastically]'' Really, Starscream?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Megatron''': Ah...misdirection Optimus. You would've made a fine Decepticon.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I ''chose'' my side.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[With the destruction of his space bridge approaching, Megatron turns to find his forces retreating.]''
:'''Megatron''': Starscream! Where is my ship?!
:'''Starscream''': We would never make it, Lord Megatron! Don't be a fool! ''Take flight and retreat!!''
&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Starscream is delivering Megatron's eulogy.]''
:'''Starscream''': Decepticons, it is with deep sorrow that I note for the log... Megatron's spark has been extinguished... All. Hail. Starscream.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;

:'''Optimus Prime''': Without a means of leaving this world, we Autobots take strength in the bonds we have forged with our three young friends - true warriors. If not in body, then in spirit. My name is Optimus Prime, and I send this message. Though we did not choose to be of Earth, it would seem that we are here to stay. If you approach this planet with hostile intent, know this: We will defend ourselves. We will defend humanity. We will defend... our home.

=== Masters and Students===

:'''Vechicon Soldier''': If we failed to conquer Earth under Lord Megatron's command, what hope do we have now while the Autobots still defend it?
:'''Starscream''': ''[growls]'' Allow me to be crystal clear: I studied for millennia under our former master, thus I am equipped to lead you. I, Megatron's true heir - Lord Starscream, ''EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION!''
:''[Vehicons begin to murmur]''
:'''Starscream''': ''[snarls and storms out in frustration]'' What use are troops who can't rise to the task of inflicting unspeakable destruction in my name?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Arcee:''' Maybe it needs one of these doohickeys... ''[Holds up a part]''
:'''Jack:''' You're a motorcycle, Arcee. Shouldn't you know how to build a motorcycle engine?
:'''Arcee:''' You're a human, Jack. Can you build me a small intestine? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream:''' Awaken, warrior. Rise and serve your new master!
:'''Skyquake:''' Skyquake serves only ''one'' master.
:'''Starscream:''' Excellent. Your loyalty and devotion will set a fine example for the troops. No need to be timid, Skyquake - you may bow.
:'''Skyquake:''' You fail to grasp my meaning. I am here on a mission, assigned to me by my one master: Megatron.
:'''Starscream:''' Yes...him. Sadly, Megatron is...no longer with us.
:'''Skyquake:''' Impossible!
:'''Starscream:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Why is this ''so difficult'' for everyone to accept?! Skyquake, ''I'' located you. ''I'' awakened you. Thus ''I'', Lord Starscream, am now your master!!!
:''[Skyquake growls and glares down at him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Skyquake''': ''[After scanning a jet mode]'' Air superiority achieved!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[Starscream yanks a shard of Dark Energon from Megatron's chest.]''
:'''Starscream''': And this time...STAY DEAD!

===Scrapheap===

:'''Raf Esquivel''': The Arctic? I've always wanted to see snow.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I would invite you to join, Rafael, but the conditions are much too extreme, even for we Autobots.
:'''Raf Esquivel''': I understand...
:''Optimus starts to leave, then pauses.''
:'''Optimus Prime''': But, I will bring you back a snowball.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&quot;Bulkhead, you never run.&quot; 
&quot;Miko, you haven't seen a swarm of these things devour a bot. I have. They pick you apart from the inside out, going for the small juicy bits first, fuse by fuse, circuit by circuit, 'til there's nothing left, and I mean nothing... not even your optics.&quot; 

—Miko gets some nightmare fuel from Bulkhead. 


&quot;I get to be your bodyguard for once. How cool is that?!&quot;
&quot;Raf found the first one here, right?&quot;
''(Lights turn off for a second followed by Bulkhead's scream)''
&quot;Did you just scream like a little girl?&quot;
&quot;No! ...Maybe... Can we talk about this later?&quot; 

—Miko and Bulkhead searching, and a more hilarious reversal of roles cannot be found. 


&quot;What do you suggest? Wait, how about a game? Let's play 'Who Screwed Things Up Back at Base'.&quot;
&quot;Our predicament could be the result of a simple malfunction.&quot;
&quot;Caused by Bulkhead.&quot; 

—Arcee and Optimus prove that when things go wrong, blame it on Bulkhead. 


&quot;Bulkhead may be...too large for this world. But his inner strength is without bounds. One should not be measured by size alone.&quot; 

—Optimus gives us a life lesson while finding a nice way to call Bulkhead fat. 


&quot;Ready for the main course? Come and get it!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, king of one-liners. 


&quot;I'd invite you in, but the place is a mess.&quot; 

—Seriously, give Bulkhead a crown. 


&quot;We're just fortunate that this infestation happened...on a Saturday.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds there's an upside to having human companions.

===Con Job===
&quot;Do you not see that you are vastly outnumbered?&quot;
&quot;I see fellas who might vastly enjoy watching me pound some dents into you.&quot; 

—Starscream and Wheeljack 


&quot;I'm still picking shrapnel out of my backside!&quot; 
&quot;I'm not surprised, given the size of your backside.&quot; 

—Bulkhead reminisces, Arcee zings. 


&quot;If anything happens to my favourite Wrecker, I'm coming after you!&quot; 

—Wheeljack tells Miko to take good care of his best bud for him.

===Convoy===
&quot;Ah-ah, no need, Agent Fowler. I will handle the driving.&quot;
&quot;It's going to be a long trip.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime lets Agent Fowler in on his no-touch policy. 


&quot;Gentlemen, stop their engines.&quot; 

—Silas 


&quot;Is that so? Tell me, Si, what's the market price for a D.N.G.S. these days?&quot;
&quot;What makes you think we intend to sell it, Agent Fowler?&quot; 

—Agent Fowler and Silas discussing the value of Fowler's Dingus. 


&quot;After a long road trip, feels good to get out of the car, stretch my legs, and kick some tailpipe!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, the reigning king of one-liners. 


&quot;You want me to not only bridge you into a confined space, but one traveling at 90 miles per hour? I can't even count the number of things that can go wrong. Mass displacement trauma, twisted limbs, metal burn! Well, maybe not the last one.&quot; 

—Overly attached Ratchet to Jack, Miko and Raf 


&quot;First rule of combat: Never leave the enemy with the spoils.&quot; 

—Silas

===Deus ex Machina===
&quot;Miko, listen. If you fail high school, you can't go to—uh...uni...kesa...colls...w-wait, what's that word again?&quot;
&quot;Uh, 'college'?&quot; 

—Bulkhead tries to give Miko a lecture on academia. 


&quot;Look Miko, before I became a warrior I was a laborer, construction. I can build stuff, I can break stuff, and that's it.&quot;
&quot;I love breaking stuff! I wanna be just like you, Bulk.&quot;
&quot;Aaargh...why would you wanna be like me, when you can be a medic like Ratchet?&quot; 

—Bulkhead fails to convince Miko regarding the benefits of education. 


&quot;It's about time, Knock Out. I do not enjoy being kept waiting!&quot;
&quot;Ah, it was a long drive, Starscream. I'm still picking bugs out of my grille.&quot;
&quot;Yes, right, you're one of those.&quot;
&quot;Come again?&quot;
&quot;Never understood why any self-respecting Decepticon would choose 'automobile' as his vehicle mode when he could have flight!&quot;
&quot;I like the way I look in steel-belted radials.&quot; 

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss an infraction of the norm. 


&quot;We have a history.&quot;
&quot;(chuckles) And you have a pet. Does it play catch?&quot; 

—Bulkhead and Breakdown, just before the latter throws a giant stone pillar at Miko.


&quot;We're already trespassers and thieves. Why not add forgery to the list?&quot; 

—Jack Darby, master of logic.


&quot;Wait! What are you doing?!&quot;
&quot;What I do best: ''(grabs Energon Harvester)'' Breaking things!&quot; ''(punches Starscream)'' 

—Starscream is no match for Bulkhead's sheer awesomeness. 


&quot;He's a glutton for punishment.&quot;
''(Autobots arrive)''
&quot;Fight?&quot;
&quot;Mmm, drive.&quot; 

—Knockout and Breakdown are prevented from killing Bulkhead.

===Speed Metal===

&quot;Winning isn't enough, Jack. You want to make him ''cry.''&quot;

—Arcee explains her method of getting even. 


&quot;You have been street racing among the humans again, haven't you?&quot;
&quot;I'm not only an automobile, I'm an automobile enthusiast.&quot;
&quot;I DO strive to run a tight ship, Knock Out. I would strongly suggest that you seek my permission next time you decide to disappear on one of your little...jaunts.&quot;
&quot;No worries, Herr Kommandant.&quot;
&quot;It is 'Lord' to you.&quot;
&quot;Only if Megatron takes a nosedive.&quot;
&quot;Hhhnnn. The day our master emerges from stasis, I will graciously relinquish the title. But I believe that outcome is unlikely. Something to do with the quality of medical care around here. So continue buffing. We do want Megatron looking his best for the memorial.&quot;
''(Starscream leaves the room.)''
&quot;Buff ''this.''&quot;

—Knock Out and Starscream don't exactly see eye-to-eye. 


Arcee: Have you guys seen Jack?
Miko: ...not since...we last saw him.
Arcee: They're racing, aren't they?
Raf: Just this once.
Arcee: Did you know about this?
Bulkhead: No. Maybe. A little.

—No one on Team Prime can lie. 


&quot;'Bee, do not engage. Your first priority is to keep Jack safe. [murmurs] Until I get my hands on him.&quot;

—Arcee is a scary guardian. 


Raf: We should just tell Optimus the truth.
Miko: Absolutely not! We made a deal. Just act completely normal.
Optimus: Raf, Miko, do either of you know where the others have gone?
Miko: ''(innocently)'' Why, no, sir. We do not know.
Raf: ''(stiffly)'' Miko is correct. We do not know.
Miko: Why would ''we'' know?
Optimus: ''(raises an eyebrow)'' Hmm.

—Seriously, it's a minor miracle the kids haven't blown their cover with their parents yet. 


&quot;Do you know how hard that is to replace?!&quot;

—Knock Out loses a door to Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Knock Out! Was I not clear?! You have defied my orders yet again!&quot;
&quot;My mistake, Commander Starscream. But, I've learned my lesson, and paid the price...&quot;
&quot;It. Is. ''LOOOORD!'' And you have paid, when I ''say'' you have paid. Do not worry, your punishment shall be merely... cosmetic.&quot;
''(Starscream extends a razor-sharp finger)''
&quot;No... Not the finish! ''Anything'' but the finish! ''NOOOOOOOOOO!''&quot;

—''Lord'' Starscream reminds Knock Out where he stands.

===Predatory===
&quot;I may not have stinger-proof metal skin, Arcee, but in a pinch, I can use my multi-function pocket knife and magnesium fire-starter to cook up some freeze-dried mac and cheese.&quot;

—Jack subtly plants a Chekhov's gun. 


&quot;Partners don't ditch partners. &quot;
&quot;Get this straight, you're ''not'' my partner, you're a ''liability''!&quot;
&quot;I don't believe you! I can see it in your eyes: you're afraid, Arcee. And you're ''never'' afraid.&quot;

—Jack calls Arcee's bluff.


&quot;These days, I travel solo in pursuit of my new hobby.&quot;
&quot;I got a look at your souvenir case.&quot;
&quot;You mean my trophies. I collect endangered species. Of course, they aren't really endangered...until they meet me.&quot;

—Airachnid shares her favorite pastime with Arcee. 


&quot;So much for closure.&quot;

—Arcee is annoyed as Airachnid gets away.

===Sick Mind===
&quot;Is he displaying brain wave activity?&quot;
&quot;Spiking hard. His sick mind's still at work.&quot;

- Arcee namedrops the title. 


&quot;I will NOT allow Optimus to pass knowing that Megatron will outlive him!&quot;

- Ratchet, increasingly desperate to save Optimus. 


&quot;An inglorious fate that he should remain in this vegatative state...&quot;

- Starscream composes poetry about Megatron. Sound familiar? 


&quot;If this is my subconsious...''WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY HEAD?!''&quot;

-Megatron unintentionally makes us laugh.


&quot;You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.&quot;

- Starscream to Knock-Out, who evidentally doesn't remember what happened the last time Starscream's claws got close to him. 


&quot;Speak now, or forever hold your peace.&quot;

- Starscream to Soundwave as the former is about to take Megatron off life support. And Soundwave STILL won't say a word. 


&quot;I'm out... or should I say, in?&quot;

- Megatron cackles as he awakes in Bumblebee's body.

===Out of His Head===
&quot;Lucky for us Megatron was still alive. 
&lt;Bumblebee beeps&gt;
&quot;Yeah, I actually said that.&quot; 

—Arcee surprising us all. 


&quot;Hm, hm. Yes, very nice.&quot; 

—Ratchet is unimpressed with Raf's picture of his family. 


&quot;Yes! I love when a plan comes together!&quot; 

—Starscream, fan of the A-Team. 


&quot;Decepticons! Your rightful lord and master has returned!&quot; 

—Megatron reawakens. 


&quot;Megatron's greatest mistake was ever allowing you to live, Prime!&quot; 

—Starscream, a few seconds before Megatron shows up. 


&quot;Lord Megatron? You...are...you're healed! Praise the Allspark! It is a miracle!&quot;
&quot;Oh, it will be a miracle all right, Starscream, if you survive what I have planned for you!

—Starscream discovers that Megatron doesn't tolerate traitors anymore. 


&quot;But the Autobots! Optimus! Right there, waiting for you!&quot;
&quot;My greatest mistake? I've made a few. But there is one I do NOT intend to make again!&quot;

—A desperate Starscream and a surprisingly self-aware Megatron.

===Shadowzone===
&quot;You cannot harm me while Dark Energon flows through my veins!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''', seconds before Optimus blows his arm off.


&quot;I can't see without my glasses!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What are you, ninety?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Not. Helping!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;[sighs] I'll get them!&quot;
:—A glasses-less '''Raf''', a jerky '''Miko''', and a frustrated '''Jack'''.

&quot;Uhhh, Starscream, I don't quite understand how this could have happened...&quot;
&quot;And yet, it DID! Can you imagine my horror, there I am, minding my own business,  when my arm just FALLS OFF! Clearly Megatron inflicted more damage upon me than you realized...DOCTOR...&quot;

—Starscream feeds Knock Out a string of completely unbelievable lies.


&quot;How can a zombie arm move faster than the actual zombie?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't know, Miko. Must re-animated itself.&quot;

:—That's a very good question, '''Miko'''. And a good answer from '''Raf'''.


&quot;Look what I found in storage- What are you doing?&quot;
&quot;You were right, Knock Out! I'm much too attached to my original appendage. I will retrieve it.&quot;

:—Knock Out is confused when Starscream suddenly changes his mind.

&quot;Ratchet, can we triangulate the geographical position of the cell phone signal?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''In a parallel dimensional plane?!''... Let's find out.&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' poses a challenge for '''Ratchet '''.

&quot;Look, if you're going to blame anybody, blame me.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I'm sorry, could you repeat that? ...a couple dozen times?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;That's a lot of owning up.&quot;

:— '''Miko''' owns up, while '''Jack''' makes it clear he's still ticked off. And '''Ratchet''' is about to blow his top.

===Operation: Breakdown===
&quot;As much as I'll miss our little reunions... ''hammer time''.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown''' before being captured by MECH

&quot;It's a trap!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Would this be a 'roll out' kind of trap?&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' ackbars and '''Arcee''' continues to be genre savvy.


&quot;'Marco!' You're supposed to say 'Polo!'&quot;

:—'''Bulkhead''' plays with MECH.


&quot;Never run when you can fight.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown'''

&quot;One day, you will repay your debt to me, Breakdown... the day it comes time to choose sides.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
“Huh... between ‘Bots and ‘Cons?”&lt;br&gt;
“Between myself – and Megatron.”
:—'''Starscream''' informs a confused '''Breakdown''' of his plans for the future.

===Crisscross===

&quot;Ah, the mother lode.&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Government database?&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Social networking page.&quot;

:—'''Silas''' teaches '''Airachnid''' the fastest way to track down a teenager.


&quot;Now, I know we promised the spider-bot that she would have first crack at you, but something tells me she's going to turn our mutual crisscross... into a double-cross.&quot;
:—'''Silas'''


&quot;Jack, your motorcycle?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;I can explain, Mom. Wait, I already did.&quot;
:—Even with '''June Darby''' in mortal peril, '''Jack''' can still crack wise. 


&quot;Oh, not again!&quot;
:—'''Agent Fowler''' is exasperated at Decepticons copying his vehicles.


&quot;So that's how it's done.  Genius.&quot;
:—'''Silas''' on seeing how Airachnid scans a vehicle mode.


&quot;Mom, meet my science fiction club!&quot;
:—'''Jack''' introducing June to the Autobots

===Metal Attraction===
&quot;Allow me to redeem myself, master. What I have lost...is a constant reminder that I must never again fail you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' rather darkly references his new eyepatch.


&quot;I heard a rumour about a rogue 'Con. How about I hogtie you and haul you in?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' has no sympathy for those who disrespect Megatron's rule.


&quot;Where's Arcee?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Let's just say she's got your back.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Scrap.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—A confused Bulkhead, a sarcastic Miko, and an annoyed Arcee.


&quot;Still up for a truce, muscles?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Only because I hate Bulkhead more than I hate you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Airachnid''' and '''Breakdown''' decide to look at the bigger picture.


&quot;Wanna dance?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You're not my type.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Bulkhead''' and '''Airachnid''' exchange words before they go toe to toe.


&quot;Arcee, I think I owe you an apology.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You do?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I worry...especially when I feel like I can't control things—which, with a teenager, is all the time.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''June''' admits the troubles of being a single mother to '''Arcee'''.


'''Megatron''': Breakdown, you dare to return empty-handed?!&lt;br&gt;
'''Breakdown''': No, Master.&lt;br&gt;
''[Turns around, revealing Airachnid magnetized to his back]''&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Airachnid...it has been some time.&lt;br&gt;
'''Airachnid''': Lord Megatron...what can I say? It's good to be back.&lt;br&gt;
:—It would seem the Autobots have a new problem to deal with...

===Rock Bottom===
&quot;Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to see Slash Monkey?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uhh—&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''Forever!'' And it's their only U.S. date!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well, there's a shock. I mean, who doesn't love obscure Bulgarian shriek metal?&quot;
:—'''Miko''' and '''Jack''' discuss rock concerts.


&quot;She went in. Unbelievable.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Really? Have you...met her?&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' and '''Jack''' watch Miko run into the cave.


&quot;DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, STARSCREAM! I have been wise to your transgressions from the beginning. Not only did you pluck the Dark Energon from my chest in a failed attempt to snuff my spark, but you tried to raise yourself own undead warrior with it. It's no secret that you lost an arm in the process, which you've since had replaced.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You know about that?!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' and '''Starscream''' discuss the latter's endeavors.


&quot;You have ceased to be of use to me, Starscream...so you shall simply cease to be.&quot;

:—'''Megatron''', with possibly the most hardcore one-liner he's ever delivered.


&quot;Roll out.&quot;

:—'''Jack''' being genre savvy as he activates some Decepticon mining equipment.


''(In front of a collapsed mine, which Megatron was in)''
&quot;Heh heh...Haahahahaha! &quot;Predictable&quot;, ''master?'' Is that what you called me? Well, now who has hit ''rock bottom''? ...What's that? I'm sorry. I can't hear you beneath all that ''rubble''. Hahahahahaaa! Farewell, ''Lord'' Megatron! May you RUST IN PEACE!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' monologues a little, thinking Megatron is dead.


&quot;Well, what are you waiting for? Think of the glory, seize the day! Optimus would.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No, he wouldn't. Not like this.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I will be sure to share the details of our little conversation with Optimus, the day I rip out his spark!&quot;
:—A pinned '''Megatron''' is discovered by '''Jack''', who refuses to take advantage of the situation and kill him.


&quot;If you think I'm going to beg for mercy, Starscream, forget it!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Er, yes, begging for mercy would be quite pathetic, wouldn't it?&quot;
:—'''Bulkhead''' unintentionally insults '''Starscream'''.


'''Starscream:''' &quot; MASTER! PLEASE! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I BEG OF YOU!&quot;


'''Starscream:''' &quot;Master! You're alive! Thank the Allspark! &lt;i&gt;[ Megatron glares at Starscream ]&lt;/i&gt; I did not abandon you, master! I returned! To save you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron:''' &quot;Save me?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Starscream:''' &lt;i&gt;[ scared ]&lt;/i&gt; &quot;Look into my spark, Lord Megatron! My intentions were true! PLEASE! ''HAVE MERCY!!''&quot;

===Partners===
&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. I now realize I was never destined to be leader, or even an equal partner. And, I am at peace with that. I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Of who I was always meant to be. STARSCREAM: second in command, humble servant to Lord Megatron. Thank you for listening, Soundwave.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' speaks before Soundwave. Like talking to a brick wall.


&quot;Hey partner, heck of a view you got up here. If there's even a small chance your spark is out there listening, well, we could really use you, Cliff. Seems like everyday another Decepticon arrives on the scene. We're outnumbered and outgunned.  Yeah, I know what you'd say, 'Sounds like a fair fight,' and if that's the world we live in, so be it.  I just want you to know, I haven't given up. I'm going to find the Con who took you from us.&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' visiting Cliffjumper's grave, and foreshadowing all at the same time. Multi-tasking.


&quot;Oh you would do well to respect me, Airachnid. Before I joined Megatron, I was Air Commander of a squadron of Energon Seekers.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;On Cybertron, and how many eons ago was that?&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' tries to be hot, and gets burned by '''Airachnid'''


&quot;Airachnid... what I wouldn't do to get my hands around her wretched throat.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;So we can agree on one thing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Oh, you have no idea. She showed up one day and the next thing you know, she's acting like she runs the place. She whispered lies into Megatron's ear, maneuvered to remove me of my rightful place.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well... she terminated my partner.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What?! She's taking credit for scrapping him now too?! That was my doing!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What? You weren't there.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uh, of course I wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No one. Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Tailgate.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who's Tailgate?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You are the one. You extinguished Cliffjumper!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' and '''Arcee''' compare their stories on Airachnid only for Starscream to let it slip about Cliffjumper. I pity the fool.


&quot;You left Starscream with the Autobots?! Do you have any notion of the consequences of your blunder?!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;But, my lordship! It was Starscream's incompetence that cost us the Immobilizer!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't care about some trinket! My second-in-command is a prisoner of the enemy! Which means all Decepticon intelligence could be at the fingertips of the Autobots!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' rages while '''Airachnid''' watches her chances of being his new BFF vanish.


&quot;It is the external wounds which heal the quickest.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I thought settling scores would allow me to move on... instead I chased away our hope of winning this war anytime soon.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Wisdom cannot be granted, Arcee. It must be earned, sometimes at a cost.&quot;
:—'''Optimus Prime''' and '''Arcee''' on being the better 'bot.


&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Starscream: aligned with no side; servant, to no one.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' goes rogue on us.

===TMI===
Bulkhead: Hey, Ratch, check out the monster truck rally Miko took me to last week.
Miko: I compiled some highlights with my cellphone.
Ratchet: Innocent vehicles battling for the entertainment of human spectators? (shudders) Bloodsport!
Bulkhead and Miko: Yeah! 

—Ratchet disapproves of Bulkhead and Miko's taste in sports. 


&quot;Come to papa.&quot;
(Bulkhead knocks him away) &quot;Run to mommy!&quot;
(Breakdown grabs Bulkhead from behind) &quot;Say uncle! Say it!&quot;

—Knock Out, Bulkhead, and Breakdown continue with humorous mid-battle banter. 


&quot;How about our Sunday morning dune-bashings? Rocking out to Slash Monkey? Helping me with my homework? Trick question! You know I don't do homework...don't you?&quot;

—Miko is at least more subtle in her remember-who-you are monologue than Raf was. 


&quot;You...painted my paint job! Prepare for surgery!&quot;

—Knock Out really needs to sort out his priorities. 


&quot;Because the energy took Bulkhead's mind with it. Heavenward. Lost to the stars. It's my fault you'll never know the rest of the formula, and it's my fault Bulkhead's gone forever.&quot; 

—Miko pulls an Optimus on us.


===Stronger, Faster===

&quot;HOOAH!&quot;

—Ratchet gets a new catchphrase. He needed that. 


Ratchet: ''(clicks as he walks by)'' How's it hummin'?
Arcee: ... Did he just?
Bulkhead: Stronger... faster... studlier. 

—Yeah, he did. 


&quot;It's all right, I'm an emergency vehicle!&quot; [transforms]

—Ratchet, engaging the Decepticons, threatening the title holder of King of One-liners


&quot;You know your problem, Optimus? For such a big, strong 'Bot...you're SOFT. You didn't pound Megatron into scrap when you had the chance! Many chances, in fact!!&quot; 

—Ratchet under the influence of Synth-En, getting a little too close to the truth.


&quot;Yeah, she's kinda domineering and the extra arms are weird, but... I find myself intrigued by her.&quot; 

—Breakdown chats to a Vehicon about Airachnid.


''(Megatron twists Ratchet's arm, and he cries out in pain)''
&quot;Ratchet ''is'' a bit more spirited than I recollect...&quot;
&quot;Chemical enhancement, perhaps?&quot;
''(Megatron savagely rips Ratchet's chest open, causing him to bleed Synth-En. He slams Ratchet to the ground.)''
&quot;There's your laboratory sample, ''doctor''. Find out.&quot;

—Megatron talking to Knock Out, apparently forgetting that this is a kids' show.

===One Shall Fall===
&quot;And it was written in the Covenant of Primus that 'when the forty-seven spheres align, a perpetual conflict will culminate upon a world forged from chaos and the weak shall perish in the shadow of a rising darkness.'&quot; 

-Optimus Prime recites a passage of ill tidings. 

Arcee: &quot;No 'sky is raining fire'?&quot;
Ratchet: &quot;Goes without saying. It is a doom prophecy, after all.&quot;
Bulkhead: &quot;I say it's a load of hooey.&quot; 

-The Autobots' reaction to the above passage. 


&quot;Um, Optimus! You wanna see something funny?&quot;
&quot;No.&quot; 

—Jack learns of Optimus Prime's minimal sense of humor. 

&quot;Agent Fowler, I fear that Megatron's desperation may be at its zenith, and you know that I cannot condone a single human casualty.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime encourages Fowler to leave defense of the US base to the Autobots (and provides a hint of foreshadowing). 


&quot;It would seem I swatted a bee and squashed a bug.&quot; 

—Megatron, who is being a jerk. 


&quot;Does he seem to be... 'losing it'?&quot;
&quot;A bit...&quot; 

—Knock Out and Airachnid discuss Megatron's state of mind. 


&quot;Curse my Cybertronian pride! We've welcomed these humans into our lives, yet I bothered to learn so little of their science, or medicine.&quot; 

-Ratchet panics over his inability to help Raf. 


&quot;I have been foolish not to see what history has proven over and over again: that Autobots and Decepticons will never mend their ways. If there can be no diplomatic solution to this perpetual conflict, then I must not allow more darkness to fall upon this or any planet. Megatron must be destroyed!&quot; 

—It's about slaggin' time, Optimus Prime. 


&quot;I have come for Megatron, and him alone. Stand down and be spared.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime is on the warpath. Primus help us all. 


&quot;Megatron! I am here, on your ship! Come and FACE ME!&quot;

—Optimus hailing Megatron, ''using the wrist communicator of a dead Vehicon.'' Dude is ''hardcore.''


&quot;Megatron, today you answer for your crimes against Cybertron and against humanity. One shall stand...&quot;
&quot;And one shall fall. ''You'', Optimus Prime!&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Megatron, who has heard this speech before. 


&quot;Your defeat was foreseen here by the ancients. What was it they wrote? 'The weak shall perish?'&quot;
&quot;Do not believe everything you read.&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus Prime, unusually philosophical in the middle of a death-match.

===One Shall Rise part 1===
&quot;The ‘Cons killed a unicorn?&quot; ''(Awkward silence)'' &quot;White horse with a horn on its head... prances around all sparkly?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' sure knows how to lighten the mood.


'''Optimus''': June, it deeply grieves me that I have failed. But I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to our human friends – or any human – ever again.&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Optimus… they’re children. They do not belong in your world. They should be worrying about grades, prom dates, pimples – not their own survival!&lt;br&gt;
:-A spark-to-heart in which '''Optimus''' and '''June''' don't quite see eye to optic.


'''Miko''': Do you really expect me to get into a non-transforming vehicle?&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Miko, I’m serious.&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': You’re not my mother.&lt;br&gt;
'''Bulkhead''': Miko…&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': Neither are you!&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' asserts her independence - again.


&quot;...I awaken...&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Unicron''', bringing all the sinister foreboding you'll ever need.


&quot;Before the beginning... there was Primus. And, there was Unicron. One, the incarnation of creation – the other... of destruction. For eons; Primus and Unicron battled, the balance of power shifting between them more times than could be counted. Only by creating the Thirteen – the original Primes who preceded me – was Primus finally able to defeat Unicron, and cast him out. Primus became one with the very core of our planet, creating life through the Well of All Sparks, while Unicron was never to be heard from again... until now.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Optimus Prime''' tells the tale.


'''Megatron''': I feel your presence, share your very spark! I call upon you as my lord and master, oh mighty Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': ''[Rising]'' WHO DARES?&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Your servant most humble. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and the wielder of the Dark Energon which binds us. To awaken you once again. The prophecy has been fulfilled. It is only the beginning of what we shall accomplish together. For you shall rule this planet, and those who walk upon it through me.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': PRIDEFUL FOOL. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOURSELF CAPABLE OF SUMMONING MY LIFE-FORCE. I RISE BECAUSE I HAVE DEEMED IT MY TIME.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Master, I did not mean to overstep...&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': SILENCE, WORM. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR LOWLY ASSISSTANCE.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Please, my lord, I exist only to serve you.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': WHAT IS THIS I SENSE? THE TAINT OF PRIMUS? HERE?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': That is Optimus, the last of the Primes; our sworn enemy.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': YOU PROFESS LOYALTY TO ME, YET ALLOW A DISCIPLE OF PRIMUS TO LIVE?!?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': I will destroy him for you! His screams shall be heard--&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': I GROW WEARY OF YOUR PRATTLE. SURELY IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO DESTROY THIS PRIME, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. ''I'' WILL DEAL WITH HIM MYSELF.&lt;br&gt; 
:-Confronting '''Unicron''' himself, '''Megatron''' starts to feel a little like Starscream.


'''Optimus''': I humbly request your ear, Lord Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': And what would a Prime be so compelled to say to me?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': I make this appeal not for myself, but for this planet which you constitute – and the beings that inhabit it. Humankind relies upon you; for life, sustenance. Your resurrection will only result in the destruction of a species which evolved from the seeds of your very greatness.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': So this humankind of whom you speak… you consider them my progeny?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': Indeed.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': Parasites! They, too, shall know my wrathful hand – once I am finished with you!&lt;br&gt;
:-Nice try, '''Optimus''', but '''Unicron''' has never been much of a people person.


'''Unicron''': The line of Primes has grown weak in my absence. And thus, you shall fall!&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': That outcome is inevitable… but not on this day!&lt;br&gt;
(Optimus shoots the golem until it breaks. Several more then form from the surrounding rock.)&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron golems''': Yes, disciple of Primus… on this very day. For Unicron may be one… but we all are Unicron!&lt;br&gt;

===One Shall Rise part 2===
&quot;Optimus! Have you uncovered any further sign of Unicron's emergence?&quot;
&quot;Unicron is power incarnate, and you, the last of the Primes, shall perish!&quot;
&quot;I take that as a yes.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds out that Unicron has awakened 


&quot;It is rather ironic, considering our last encounter. If memory serves, you were desperately attempting to extinguish my spark.&quot;
&quot;That option remains very much in play.&quot;
&quot;I would expect nothing less!&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus talk about the good times. 


''(GroundBridge opens up next to Bulkhead, Arcee, and Bumblebee)''
&quot;Wait. We're opening up a direct path into our base with Megatron standing right there?!&quot;
&quot;And seriously, he's gonna risk his own spark to save us?&quot;
&quot;''(Laughter)'' Hardly my nature!&quot; 

—Arcee and Bulkhead doubt Megatron's motives, which he finds amusing. 


&quot;It appears our leader has abandoned us while this world erupts in chaos. I believe we must consider the possibility of a future without Megatron.&quot; 

—Airachnid fills the quota for scheming in Starscream's absence. 


&quot;So this is where the magic happens. Quaint.&quot; 

—Megatron enters the Autobot base.

===One Shall Rise part 3===
Raf: Megatron was an Autobot?
Miko:Optimus was a 'Con!?
Rachet: No, on either count. 

– The kids get confused while Ratchet gets ready to tell a tale. 


&quot;Watch out for the quiet ones…&quot; 

—Knock Out after witnessing Soundwave &quot;veto&quot; Airachnid's motion to leave Earth. 


'''Unicron''': Megatron! Destroy the Prime! I command you!
'''Megatron''': Megatron is commanded by NO ONE! Aaaaaargh!! 

– He's not wrong this time. 


Optimus: Where are we Megatronus?
Megatron: ...Don't you remember, old friend? 

– …uh, that was unexpected.

==Season 2==

===Orion Pax part 1===
:'''Megatron''': —and the first to address him as Optimus Prime will have their voice box torn out.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''': Welcome back to the winning team.

===Orion Pax part 2===
&quot;You do not suggest that our leader... would speak falsehoods?&quot;
&quot;Hahahahahaha! You...You truly are being kept in the dark, aren't you?&quot;

—Starscream, upon learning of &quot;Orion's&quot; deception. 


&quot;The Decepticon Space Bridge is located right here, deep within an energon mine.&quot;
&quot;Adjacent to a raw fuel supply, clever. What's our intel?&quot;
&quot;A... reliable source&quot;

—Ratchet talks to Arcee about their tip, without realizing he's calling a Decepticon reliable. 


&quot;Command, this is Space Bridge Control! We are under attack! Command, do you read me?&quot;
''(commlink static)''
''(Bulkhead smashes the Vehicon's face)''
&quot;Shhhh.&quot;

—A Vehicon is reminded of the no talking rule by Ratchet. 


&quot;Thank you, Starscream.&quot;
''(Bulkhead looks at Arcee)''
&quot;Who else would it have been?&quot;

—Arcee's too clever by half. 


&quot;Don't worry, Space Bridging is just like Ground Bridging.&quot;
''(Space Bridge fires up with a loud noise)''
&quot;(Shouting) JUST A LITTLE MORE INTENSE!&quot;

—Arcee tries to ease Jack's nerves about going on the big boy rides. 


&quot;Somebody say something, pronto!&quot;
&quot;Rafael, patch in Agent Fowler.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets exactly what he wants, just not what he expected. 

===Orion Pax part 3===


&quot;Why did it have to be Scraplets?&quot;

—Bulkhead channels Harrison Ford. 


&quot;Why does history portray me siding with the Autobot aggressors? And why did Starscream call me a Prime? I must know...who am I?&quot;
&quot;You are my clerk.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; questions his identity, while Megatron responds with a firm establishment of the pecking order. 


&quot;You will finish Project Iacon by the time I return...or I will carve out your spark before your very EYES.&quot;

—Megatron threatens &quot;Orion Pax&quot;. 


&quot;Hey guys—the main course!&quot;

—Jack directs the Scraplets to their other menu choices. 


&quot;That may be true, or yet another deception, but this much I do know: my sympathies lie with the Autobots, and you are not one of us!&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; to Megatron, realizing the truth. 


&quot;Are you...certain I am worthy?&quot;
&quot;You have no idea.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; and Jack. 


&quot;Megatron—be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime, before delivering the most awesome series of punches in the entire series. 


&quot;This time, he's coming with us!&quot;

—Bulkhead, keeping his crown with one-liners. 


&quot;Optimus, it has truly been our darkest hour, but know this: from every indication your spark never ceased being that of an Autobot.&quot;

—Ratchet, assuring Optimus of his virtue.

===Operation Bumblebee part 1===
&quot;The new Urbana 500. It won't just rock your world. It will transform it.&quot;

—The commercial narrator hates Bumblebee. 


&quot;You want to ride with the siren on?&quot;
&quot;No, thank you.&quot;

—Ratchet attempts to cheer up Raf. 


&quot;Still don't know how you talked me into this. You're worse than Miko.&quot;

—Bulkhead on Bumblebee's persuasiveness. 


&quot;Bumblebee, where's your famous engine power? Show me some speed!&quot;

—Knock Out, unintentionally striking a nerve.

===Operation Bumblebee Part 2===
&quot;You and I both know there exists a way to make him whole again.&quot;
&quot;A transplant. But that would require a donor.&quot;
&quot;You need look no further than the Autobot standing before you.&quot;

—Ratchet tells Optimus Prime that he is willing to make a sacrifice. 


&quot;...I think I leaked a little transmission fluid.&quot;

—Knock Out sums up how intimidating his master truly is. 


&quot;Do you ever not speak?&quot;

—Silas says what we're all thinking to Starscream. 


&quot;Mine's bigger!&quot;

—Bulkhead compares hammers with Breakdown. 


&quot;Time to jet! Because I can!&quot;

—Starscream, who really should learn to keep his mouth shut. 


&quot;I am able! Just ask Bantor! He was all mandrill untill I put a tiger in his tank!&quot;

—Delerious Ratchet, spouting random Beast Wars references.

===Loose Cannons===
&quot;Not this again!&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets his vehicle scanned by a 'Con for a third time. 


Wheeljack: You know Wreckers don't call for backup.
Wheeljack and Bulkhead: They call for clean-up!

—The remaining Wreckers provide an alternative to &quot;Wreck and Rule!&quot; 


&quot;I will be quite surprised if we ever set eyes upon Dreadwing again.&quot;

—Megatron putting his faith into his soldier. 


&quot;Sorry, Jackie. It's 'cause I love ya.&quot;

—Bulkhead shows the tough love. 


&quot;Sorry, fishies!&quot;

—Bulkhead runs towards water with a bomb attached.


&quot;So, who do we call for clean-up?&quot;

-Wheeljack being...Wheeljack

===Crossfire===
&quot;I know we've never seen ''eyes-to-eye,'' but that doesn't mean we can't ''patch'' things up.&quot;

—Airachnid baits Breakdown with extra-strength puns. 


&quot;You dare turn your back on a superior life-form? I am Commander Starscream!&quot;

—Starscream using his former position to get others to do what he wants...again. 


&quot;You and your beast would do well to remember—I honed my skills in the pits of Kaon!&quot;

—Megatron reminds all that he is not so easily beaten. 


&quot;Never trust a 'Con. Kick Buckethead's bucket!&quot;

—Bulkhead is dubious of Dreadwing's trustworthiness.


&quot;You disobeyed my orders in following me here. You will make a fine first lieutenant.&quot;

—Megatron might have finally made a good choice for second-in-command.

===Nemesis Prime===

&quot;Yes, that's it. Follow the light.&quot;
&quot;Wait, what? Not the best choice of words, Ratchet.&quot;

—Ratchet and Arcee 


&quot;I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and I bring you this message.&quot;

—Nemesis Prime steals one of Optimus's catchphrases. 


&quot;Be on your guard. My double could be anywhere.&quot;
''(Bumblebee beeps a reply)''
&quot;I'm sorry. What?&quot;

—Nemesis Prime tries and fails to fool Bumblebee. 


&quot;...But the key difference between you and me? ...''my'' body can't feel ''PAIN!''&quot;

—Silas at the controls of Nemesis Prime, right after shoving his blade through Optimus' torso.


&quot;The internal damage to his organs is massive, and beyond the scope of conventional medicine. Fortunately for our leader, MECH is anything but conventional.&quot;

—MECH Surgeon on Silas's future.

===Grill===
&quot;Soldier, too close.&quot;

—Agent Fowler doesn't like close ups of his face 


&quot;Of course, Big Foot and I don't always see eye-to-eye.&quot;

—Agent Fowler summing up his relationship with Bulkhead 


&quot;Arcee may be a bot of few words, but Bumblebee doesn't use any, that we can understand.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describes Arcee's and Bumblebee's communicative (or lack of) skills. 


&quot;General Bryce, Prime is no loose cannon. He's anything but.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describing Prime's mental state - the opposite of Wheeljack's. 


&quot;Defies all logic, Bill. Dark energon? Then you go on record saying that you believe in magical horses with horns on their heads.&quot;
&quot;What?&quot;
&quot;Do you deny previously reporting that Megatron helped defeated a unicorn?&quot;
&quot;Oh? That's what you...? Uni''cron''! The ultimate evil! Permission to strike this from the record.&quot;

—General Bryce makes the second unicron/unicorn joke in 25 years, and Agent Fowler avoids a psychological evaluation. 


Fowler: General Bryce here just needs to confirm the state of your health and welfare.&quot;
Optimus: I am fine, General Bryce. How are you?&quot;
Bryce: I am well, uh, soldier.

—Agent Fowler calls on Optimus Prime, who makes awkward smalltalk with General Bryce.

===Armada===
&quot;This is for Cliffjumper! For Bumblebee! For everything.&quot;

—Bulkhead delivers some much-deserved payback to Starscream. Well, actually his clone, but what's the difference? 


&quot;You left me no choice.&quot;

—Bulkhead pulling an Optimus. At least he didn't rip Starscream's face off.


&quot;My genetic code provides my clones with a T-Cog I no longer possess, and all I get is their agony?!&quot;

—Starscream laments over the side-effects of cloning. 


&quot;Exterminating you was so gratifying the first three times.&quot;

—Megatron approaching the last of Starscream's clones. 


&quot;When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt. You know I would extend that courtesy to you.&quot;

—Airachnid, creepy to the last. 


Bulkhead (rushing inside the Autobot's base): Guys, you are not gonna believe the day I had!
''[Bulkhead spots Airachnid in stasis, then looks at Ratchet and Arcee]''
Bulkhead: Oh, you too, huh?

—It's been a busy day for everyone. 


&quot;I feel your pain. Really I do. ''[Fires missle at his clone]'' AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHH! ''Scrap'', that hurt!&quot;

—Starscream killing the last clone.

===Flying Mind===
&quot;My own vessel dares to address me in threatening tones?!&quot;

-Megatron reacts to the Nemesis' newfound attitude.


&quot;Doc Knock is knocked out!&quot;

—Miko makes the joke we've all been waiting to hear. 


&quot;Say Ahhh!&quot; 
&quot;I'm here to offer a second opinion!&quot;
''[Ratchet punches Knock Out]''

—Knock Out's dentistry leaves something to be desired, while Ratchet gives Knock Out the hint that he might want to consider going back to medical school.

===Tunnel Vision===
*&quot;Face.&quot;

—Jack, throughout the episode. 


*&quot;Well, I've actually been in subway stations. I grew in a major metropolis. Unlike Mr. 'I've never been outside of Jasper, Nevada'.&quot;
*&quot;I have been to Cybertron.&quot;
*&quot;Cybertron doesn't have subways! ... Does it?&quot;

—Miko's argument against Jack soon falls short. 


*Knock Out: &quot;You have lovely features. Perfect for a painful little procedure I like call the nip and tuck.&quot;
*Arcee dodges, and kicks Knock Out
*Arcee: &quot;Dodge and kick.&quot;
*Arcee runs for the relic, but gets plugged in the back by Knock Out's prod
*Knock Out: &quot;Shock and drop.&quot;

—Knock Out and Arcee carry on witty repartee. 


*&quot;You scratch my face, I scratch yours!&quot;
*Arcee and Bumblebee cock their blasters*

—Knock Out tries and fails to reference a previous episode. 


*Vogel watches the Autobots and kids leave*
&quot;Robots who turn into vehicles.&quot;
*Vogel turns to look at his sweeper train*

—We've all done it before, Vogel.

===Triangulation===
&quot;Faster, you pathetic excuse for transportation!&quot;

—That's not gonna work, Starscream. 


&quot;What a team we make! I am so glad that you prevailed, Optimus Prime! That wretch Dreadwing was going to terminate me! Now, if you could just remove my bonds, I can lead you straight to the relic.&quot;
''Optimus cocks his blaster''
&quot;You will lead me there regardless.&quot;
&quot;Hmph! You're welcome!&quot;

—An excited Starscream and a totally thankful Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Are we ''really'' going to stand out here in the freezing cold, completely at the mercy of ''human bureaucracy?''&quot;

—Starscream is incredulous at the thought.


&quot;I haven't had this much fun since I punched that hole in Cliffjumper!&quot;

—Starscream really doesn't know when to shut up about that. 


&quot;I will beat the living spark out of you, just so I will never again have to hear you pontificating!&quot;

—Starscream says what he thinks of Optimus Prime's speech pattern. 


''[Evil laugh]'' &quot;That tickled! *Evil laugh* Fools! Not only am I intelligent, I am INVINCIBLE!&quot;
&quot;Yet you cannot fly!&quot;
&quot;Nobody's perfect!&quot;

—Starscream and Optimus Prime, the former enjoying the suit a little too much. 


&quot;Cowards! You will not escape my might! ''[beat]'' Wait... ''[beat]'' You two are up to something!&quot;

—Starscream being genre savvy.

===Triage===
“I'll be sure to be on my best behavior, Doc.&quot;
&quot;Please don't call me 'Doc'.&quot;
&quot;Whatever you say, Sunshine.&quot;

—Wheeljack pulls out a rather unfitting nickname for Ratchet.


&quot;Wait a minute, a grenade inside of Laserbeak, inside of Soundwave? Like a turducken!&quot;
&quot;I'm sorry?&quot;
&quot;It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a... never mind.&quot;

—Raf fails to enlighten Ratchet.


&quot;Any last words?&quot;
&quot;...&quot;
&quot;Right... silent type.&quot;

—Wheeljack remembers only too late that Soundwave ISN'T going to say anything.


(Weakly)&quot;...Doc?&quot;
&quot;Wheeljack, I TOLD you not to call me that!&quot;
&quot;...I'm sorry...&quot;
&quot;...What's wrong? Where are you?&quot;
&quot;...You have...two minutes...&quot;

—Ratchet knows something's wrong when an injured Wheeljack apologizes over the comlink.

===Toxicity===
&quot;I can has cheeseburger!&quot;

— Yes, Agent Fowler actually said that. 


&quot;Leave it to Megatron to send a bug to do his dirty work.&quot;
&quot;You would know a thing or two about dirty work yourself, Wrecker.&quot;

— Bulkhead receives a &quot;right-back-at-you&quot; from Hardshell. 


&quot;Now, you see, the thing about bugs your size: They make a bigger mess when I SMASH 'EM!&quot;

— Bulkhead being true to his wrecking nature.


&quot;Come on soldier, dump that rock and come on home!&quot;

—Fowler coaxes Bulkhead through his grueling mission.

===Hurt===
(Buffing his paintjob) &quot;Detailing was so much easier when Breakdown was around!&quot;

—Knock Out gives fangirls an inch. 


&quot;Wheeljack. The one who enjoys...explosive devices.&quot;

—Megatron, describing more Wheeljacks than one. 


&quot;Talk during battle is a sign of weakness.&quot;
&quot;Only when you're too primitive to do two things at once.&quot;

—Hardshell and Wheeljack exchange smack talk. 


&quot;I thought I told you to hit autopilot.&quot;
&quot;Bad things happen to bots when I leave their side.&quot;

—Wheeljack shows concern for Miko, who is not entirely wrong. 


&quot;The Autobot did THIS?!&quot;
&quot;No, my lord... it was... a human... girl.&quot;

— Megatron quickly learns that some humans make good on the promises they make.

===Out of the Past===
&quot;So this is Kaon, huh? Love what you Decepticons have done with the place. The ruins are especially picturesque.&quot;

—Cliffjumper.


&quot;Your reasoning is hardly...logical.&quot;

—Shockwave channels Mr. Spock.


&quot;Surrender the encryption code, and I will see to it that you perish quickly.&quot;
''(Arcee mumbles something under her breath)''
&quot;Speak up. I can't hear you when you ''whimper''.&quot;
&quot;...Get. '''Fragged'''.&quot;

—Starscream tries to intimidate Arcee, but all he gets is a scathing Cybertronian expletive. 


&quot;While it often pains me, I do TRY to be a team player.&quot;

—Starscream, telling us what we already know.


&quot;Funny. At first I didn't think I'd ever get used to Cliff's constant chatter. Now...there's nothing louder to me than the silence.&quot;

—Arcee mourns her fallen partner.

===New Recruit===
&quot;The tap-dancing monkey strikes again!&quot;

—Jack on Raf's latest anti-Bumblebee-sighting hack. 


&quot;Puh-lease! Isn't having three humans here enough?!&quot;
''Everyone stares at Ratchet in disbelief''

-Ratchet finally speaks his mind on Jack, Miko and Raf.


&quot;All these Cons came out of one pod?&quot;
&quot;Humans refer to the phenomenon as a 'clown car'!&quot;

—Arcee asks a question, and Ratchet offers an explanation. 


Miko: What's your story, Smoke? Where did you come from? How did you get here? How many blasters are you packing?
Smokescreen: So these are the lifeforms we're supposed to protect? Are they all like this?
Ratchet: Fortunately not.

—Smokescreen meets Miko. 


&quot;The Red Energon is mine, humans, for you are powerless in the face of the mighty Star- What? Where is it?!&quot;

—Starscream's melodramatic entrance is deflated. 


&quot;Any last words, Smokescreen?&quot;
&quot;Just four—kiss your armor goodbye!&quot;

—Starscream gets a last warning from Smokescreen before literally getting his tailpipe kicked. 


&quot;You aren't the only one sporting a fancy wrist-mounted device!&quot;

—Starscream on his fancy rockets.

===The Human Factor===

&quot;Thank you all for your dedication and a lifetime of service. But I now seem more suited to keep the exclusive company...of titans.&quot;

—&quot;Cylas&quot;, just before brutally killing his own men. And this is a ''kids' show?''


&quot;Bulkhead! I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot;

—Ratchet still hasn't learned that saying that phrase won't change anything. 


Jack: You've got to be kidding, Raf! You of all people, grounded?
Raf: Big time. I misplaced some homework and blew a couple of tests.
Miko: Translation, A- instead of A.

—Miko thinks Raf is Mr. Perfect when it comes to school, unlike herself. 


&quot;This is the ''human'' who dissected Breakdown!&quot;
''Knock Out activates his circular saw''
&quot;Please, my liege...allow me to return the favor.&quot;

—Knock Out, finally confirming the fans' belief that he does care about his former partner. 


Megatron: Cylas, you have earned your place at the table.
Cylas: Lord Megatron, I am honored.
Megatron: Knock Out's dissection table!
Knock Out: Breakdown would be tickled.

-CYLAS learns the hard way that there is always a bigger fish.

===Legacy===
:'''Megatron''': It cannot be. Power of this magnitude must never be allowed to fall into the hands of Optimus Prime no matter what. ... 
:'''Megatron''':We Decepticons... now face our darkest hour.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Smokescreen''':How ''epic'' was that?

===Alpha; Omega===
&quot;So, did Alpha Trion ask about me?&quot;

—Smokescreen 


&quot;Yeah, I don't think I'd ever wanna leave Miko&quot;
&quot;We've made friends here. Family.&quot;
&quot;We could always... 'text' them.&quot;

—Bulkhead, Arcee, and Ratchet. 


&quot;At last we take our rightful places, Optimus, as gods, wielding the power of the cosmos.&quot;
&quot;I am but a soldier, Megatron, and you are a prisoner of your own twisted delusions.&quot;

—Megatron and Optimus Prime exchange banter during battle.

===Hard Knocks===
&quot;Last one to the Omega Key has to scrub the Energon tanks for a week.&quot;
&quot;Didn't know we were keeping score.&quot;

—Smokescreen and Arcee 


&quot;Who knew that ''sound waves'' could be such a ''knock out?''&quot;

—See what Knock Out did there? 


&quot;How is it possible that ''speed-enhancing'' Energon takes longer to process than ''regular'' Energon?&quot;

—Starscream learns how cruel irony is.


&quot;Make sure you keep an eye on 'destiny's child', okay?&quot;
&quot;Compared to watching Miko? Piece of cake!&quot;

—Arcee giving Bulkhead some advice on handling the rookie. 


&quot;You love doing your dirty work from a distance, don't ya? Too bad you don't have the ball bearings to fight up close and personal!&quot;

—Bulkhead gives Dreadwing some smack talk using an eyebrow-raising anatomic euphemism.

===Inside Job===

:'''Knock Out''': The question is, what are you still packing?
''Knock Out scans Smokescreen to find the Key within him. 
'''Knock Out''': Why, hidden treasure, of course!

:'''Megatron''': Tell me the function of these relics.&quot;

:'''Starscream''': Oh, how prudent it would be to gut you. ''To gut all of you''...but first! Where does Optimus keep his key ring?

:'''Optimus''' (in slow motion)
'''Starscream''': I'm sorry, what was that? (mocks with garbled speech) You Autobots think you're so superior. But you know what you really are? SLOW! 

'''Knock Out''': I beg of you, my liege! Release me from this absurd predicament! (Referring to being trapped in the wall. 
'''Megatron''': No. You shall serve as a reminder to those who dare fail me! 
-Megatron believes a little humbling is in order for Knock Out.

:'''Megatron''': I cannot allow Optimus Prime to be the one to revive Cybertron! We WILL find the Autobot base, invade it, and retrieve the Omega Keys!
''Starscream appears''
'''Starscream''': Been there, done that. Please pardon my unannounced visit, Lord Megatron. But I come bearing peace offering. 
''Starscream bears all four Omega Keys''
-Starscream proves his mettle.

===Patch===
:'''Megatron''':Few things of value come without a price.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''':Megatron sure knows how to 'patch' things up, eh, Dreadwi-- ''[turns around to see that Dreadwing has disappeared]'' Dreadwing?

===Regeneration===
&quot;Rise and shine! Your T-Cog transplant was a success! Yes, I am just that good.&quot; 

—Knock Out being modest about his surgery skills for a change. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': Wait, this is about Skyquake, isn't it?! I thought we had put that behind us!
:'''Dreadwing''': So have I!
:'''Starscream''': Casualties are unfortunate consequence of war! But I assure you, your twin met his end with great honor!
:'''Dreadwing''': WHICH YOU DISGRACED BY RAISING HIM FROM THE DEAD!
:'''Starscream''': Oh, you know about that... There must be something I can do! Some form of reparation I can offer you to alleviate your anguish!
:'''Dreadwing''': YOUR SPARK WILL SUFFICE!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
&quot;I said stand down! That is an order.&quot;
&quot;One which I cannot follow.&quot; 

—Megatron gives his last order to Dreadwing, who gives his last words.


&quot;I'm okay?... I'M OKAY! ''(laughs)'' Lord Megatron, you have my eternal thanks!&quot;
&quot;Do not ''ever'' make me regret which one of you I spared.&quot;

—Starscream and Megatron, right after the latter blows a hole through Dreadwing's chest.


&quot;Oh gee, why didn't I think of that?&quot; 

—Knock Out lamenting on Starscream's intelligence as he bashes an Omega Key against the table. 


&quot;Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime makes the obligatory G1 shoutout. 


&quot;I will have those keys or I will have your sparks!&quot;
&quot;I can help with the last part.&quot; 

—Smokescreen verbally beats Megatron one more time. 


&quot;What crawled up his tailpipe and died?&quot; 

—Miko on Ratchet's curt reply.

===Darkest Hour===
:'''Starscream''': PRIME! He will pay for dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk!
:'''Megatron''': ''[lets out a dark chuckle, which becomes manic laughter]'' They can run, but they can never again run ''home.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bulkhead''': Optimus... destroyed the Omega Lock.
:'''Ratchet''': ''What?!'' You did--?!
:'''Optimus Prime''': What was necessary. There was no time for another prolonged battle. Not with Earth in imminent danger.
:'''Ratchet''': So you destroyed the ''only'' device in ''any'' universe capable of restoring our home?! Optimus... we needed that.
:'''Smokescreen''': You weren't there, Doc. And it's not your place to second-guess a battlefield decision.
:'''Ratchet''': IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! THERE ''HAD'' TO BE ANOTHER WAY!
:'''Jack''': It wasn't that simple, Ratchet.
:'''Raf''': Megatron was using the Omega Lock to attack the Earth.
:'''Miko''': Optimus saved our planet!
:'''Ratchet''': WHAT ABOUT ''OUR'' PLANET?! All of our struggles, and energon spilled, and countless sacrifices - for ''nothing?!''
:'''Arcee''': Right decision or wrong, what's done is done. But we have another problem here on ''this'' world. The Cons just changed the rules when they put Jack, Miko and Raf into play.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Megatron''': Our opportunity to revive Cybertron has been lost, due to the treachery of Optimus Prime! But from our fortress of New Kaon, we will instead seize control of ''this'' world! DECEPTICONS! TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!
:'''Starscream''': I thought he'd never ask! Attack my armada! Attack! Attack! ATTACK! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': This is the place, all right.
:'''Megatron''': This ''was'' the place.
:'''Starscream''': United, we stand. Divided, they fall.

==Season 3: Beast Hunters==

===Darkmount, NV===
&quot;Agent Fowler, I admit that war brings out the worst in me, but the conflict with the Autobots is now over, and our quarrel has never been with your kind. Now that the one true enemy of the Decepticons is no more, my only wish is to coexist on this planet with the human race... peacefully. Together, Agent Fowler, I believe that you and I can make that dream a reality.&quot;

—Megatron on the phone. 


&quot;Earth is our planet now, Starscream, and we shall finish what we started. Humankind has no idea what lies ahead for them.&quot;

—Megatron off the phone. 


&quot;How long does it take to exterminate a lone Autobot and her human pet?!&quot;
&quot;Well, in my experience-&quot;
&quot;''Not'' a riddle, Starscream.&quot;
&quot;Sorry.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream

===Scattered===
&quot;I find your reply to be... logical.&quot;

—Shockwave's response to Starscream's explanation. Or should we say ''Spock''wave?


&quot;Careful, Starscream. You may dislocate a landing gear patting yourself on the back.&quot;

—Knock Out echoes the audience's feelings about Starscream's &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; noise.


&quot;I present to you, my liege: The ultimate Autobot hunter.&quot;

-Shockwave unveils his prized monster

===Prey===
Miko: A dragon?! Where did the 'Cons get a dragon?!
[Bulkhead and Wheeljack look at each other]
Bulkhead and Wheeljack: What's a dragon?
Miko: Giant, flying, fire-breathing lizard!

— Mythology 101 with the Wreckers. 


&quot;Yes! Snuff the Tragic Dragon!&quot;

—Miko making a funny quip. 


&quot;Ultra Magnus? It's an honor!&quot;
&quot;It's an honor, ''sir''.&quot;

—Bulkhead meets Ultra Magnus who insists even praise follow proper etiquette. 


&quot;What is it now, &quot;Lord&quot; Megatron?&quot;

—Agent Fowler must be getting a LOT of calls from Megatron. 


&quot;Autobots, take your pick.&quot;
&quot;Now you're speaking my language...''sir.''&quot;

—Ultra Magnus learns that the way to Wheeljack's respect is through his trigger finger.

===Rebellion===
&quot;Looks like we'll have to sneak past enemy lines, Wrecker style.&quot;
&quot;I couldn't deal with 'Wrecker style' back on Cybertron, and I refuse to deal with it here.&quot;

—Wheeljack wants to go Wrecker style, but Ultra Magnus CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT RIGHT NOW. 

&quot;Starscream! Explain why my forces are scattering across this globe.&quot;
&quot;Renegade Autobot mischief, Lord Megatron. I am in the process of deducing how they are infiltrating our communications system without a base of-&quot;
(Soundwave gets their attention and shows where.)
&quot;The Harvenger.&quot;
&quot;You left abandoned Decepticon technology fully operational and UNSECURED?!&quot;

-Megatron being angry at Starscream's incompetence once again.

&quot;This isn't how the story's supposed to end.&quot;

—Smokescreen giving his two cents to the tried and true leadership inheritance patterns. 


&quot;I know that color scheme.&quot;

—Starscream noticing Optimus's new look, as he's coming to Darkmount. YOU KNOW THAT AUTOBOT!!!!


Optimus Prime: Commander?
Ultra Magnus: Sir, you are looking... robust.

—The Autobot higher-ups have a little...chat. 


&quot;Megatron, be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime gives Megatron a reminder of a past beating. 


&quot;Soundwave, I require a Ground Bridge.&quot;

—Good timing, Shockwave. 


&quot;Awww, I missed it!&quot;

—Bad timing, Smokescreen. 


Ratchet: Is it true the Forge has been drained of its power? Then any hope of rebuilding the Omega Lock has truly been lost.
Smokescreen: I... did what I felt was right.
Ratchet: And your instincts once have again proven to be quite sound.

—Ratchet and Smokescreen on the Forge Solus Prime

===Project Predacon===
&quot;What were you thinking, soldier?&quot;
&quot;I was thinking Bulkhead could catch that lob.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack air their grievances like mature adults who hate each other. 


&quot;I was nearly a Prime, but somehow I'm still a rookie.&quot;

—Smokescreen bemoans the show's return to status quo. 


Raf: They're like Earth's dinosaurs.
Jack: Which means for you guys, running into one would be like us meeting a T-Rex.
Miko: So, then what were Dinobots?
Bulkhead: Totally different.

—Predacon discussion leads to a wink and a nod. 


&quot;Autobots, we must become Beast Hunters.&quot;

—Optimus Prime sees the writing on the package--Er, wall. 


&quot;Pfft. Another scavenger hunt?&quot;

—Starscream says the audience's line for us. 


&quot;How logical would it really be to locate all the dusty remains of your former pets?&quot;
&quot;You are not suggesting that I would send my creations to a distant planet without first having them microchipped?&quot;
&quot;Well, I-- Well, I was. But...seriously? You did?&quot;

—...only to be shut down by Shockwave. 


&quot;Um... what's a kilt?&quot;
&quot;Agent Fowler can at times be oblique. I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime on Earth culture, proving again that the best comedy comes from having no sense of humor. 

===Chain of Command===

&quot;Wrecker Fact #17?&quot;
&quot;'Guards never look up'.&quot;

—A trope-savvy Wheeljack and Bulkhead


Ultra Magnus: And what could have possibly compelled you to bring the native?
[Wheeljack thinks back to just before they left the Autobot base]
Miko: Yo. Can I come with?
Wheeljack: Why not?
&quot;Are your circuits impaired, soldier?&quot;
&quot;Prime told you to lead the Wreckers on this one. I assumed he meant all of them.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack argue over Miko's Wrecker status.


&quot;Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Even the strongest armor can't protect the weakest of creatures.&quot;
&quot;It protected you, didn't it?&quot;

—Starscream's gonna need some ice after that burn.


&quot;You do know that I vanquished Cliffjumper, don't you?&quot;
&quot;Big whoop. I snuffed Hardshell.&quot;

—Starscream finally gets his &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; boast shut down by Miko.

===Plus One===
&quot;I wondered what was taking so long with those sodas.&quot;

—Raf has gotten used to Miko's disappearances. 


&quot;I didn't choose 'emergency' as my vehicle mode for laughs.&quot;

—Ratchet, the Autobots' secret weapon. 


Wheeljack: Know what I love most about Vehicon troopers?
Arcee: They're easily distracted.

—Wrecker Fact #[Insert Number Here] on henchbots. 


Megatron: Knock Out, do not return empty-handed.
Knock Out: Moi? Don't know the meaning of the word.
Starscream: Isn't 'empty-handed' two words?
Knock Out: You would know. Or did your missing armor turn up?

—Knock Out and Starscream try to impress the boss with a game of &quot;so there&quot;s. 


&quot;Knock Out to Lord Megatron. I have secured one vintage Predacon talon. Plus, two of the Autobots' pets, for you to employ as hostages, lab experiments...well, any way you see fit. So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than Starscream.&quot;
[Comm static]
&quot;My liege? Hello?&quot;
[More static]
&quot;Too familiar?&quot;

—Knock Out gets the wrong idea from the communications blackout. 


&quot;Bromance trumps romance.&quot;

— Jack has it figured out. 

===Thirst===
&quot;My, my, my. Whatever have you been inflicting upon poor Cylas?&quot;
&quot;Ha! Well, anything that merits the need for a living petri dish.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out laugh over Cylas' misfortune. 


Megatron: [Talking to Shockwave over comm] Tell me of the Predacon protoforms. What is the status of their incubation? Mm-hm. Uh-huh.
Starscream: Master, if I do say so myself, I have made the most intriguing discovery. It appears that--
Megatron: Not now! [Back to Shockwave] Please continue, Shockwave. No, no one important.

—Megatron doesn't like to be interrupted when he's on the phone. 


&quot;Do you think he's actually trying to--?&quot;
&quot;Suck out our energon with that thing? Sure seems that way.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss Cylas' fancy new tongue. 


Starscream: Megatron will undoubtedly hold us responsible.
Knock Out: But...WE ARE!
Starscream: Well, you are, mostly.

—Starscream blames someone else, news at 11. 


&quot;Aim for the head!&quot;
&quot;What? How do you know?&quot;
&quot;I've seen human horror films.&quot; [Starscream looks at him curiously] &quot;At drive-in theaters!&quot;

—Knock Out schools Starscream on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. &quot;Human horror films, wast of time!&quot;


&quot;You know the worst part? After battling Autobots all these years, getting smacked down, shot at, blown up, this is how our lights go out?&quot;

-Knock Out getting retrospective on us. This sounds familiar... 


&quot;If this is indeed the end, if we are to become Terrorcon-chow, it has been an honor serving Lord Megatron with you.&quot;
&quot;You're no Breakdown. Though I must confess, I have always admired your lustrous finish.&quot;
[Awkward pause]
&quot;Well, then.&quot;
&quot;Should be going.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out begin a beautiful friendship… 


[To Knock Out] &quot;Allow me to handle this.&quot; [To Megatron] &quot;It's Knock Out's fault!&quot;
&quot;Precisely, my-- WHAT?!?&quot;

—…which ends moments later when Starscream jumps at the first opportunity to throw Knock Out under the bus. 


&quot;Let me just say, you have been awarded more chances for redemption than anyone in Decepticon history!&quot;

—Next contestant, Megatron from Kaon. Special subject, the obvious. 


&quot;Silas? Whatever have they done to you? But more importantly, thank you for freeing me.&quot;
&quot;No. Thank…you… [Dies]
&quot;Whatever.&quot;

—Airachnid is unmoved by Cylas' final words. 


&quot;Soundwave! I vow that on this day, the world will hear the sound of your screams.&quot;
''Soundwave proceeds to send her and her hive to a barren Cybertronian moon''

—Airachnid's mouth writes a check that her abdomen can't cash. 

===Evolution===
&quot;Strike me again, and I will bury that rod in your spark.&quot;

—Predaking speaks his first words. 


&quot;Your vision... is boundless.&quot;

—Megatron considers whether his former pet might become a future rival. 


&quot;The moment our 'Royal Highness' realizes that his army possesses greater might than what currently remains of the Decepticons...&quot;
&quot;Evolution will give way to revolution.&quot;

—Megatron mocks Predaking's name and Starscream knows a potential coup when he sees one. 


&quot;Blow these beasts back to the Rust Age.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus adds an entire new article to the Wiki. 


&quot;Optimus. When we spoke earlier...what could be greater than an army?&quot;
&quot;A human concept, one I have learned since coming to Earth: family.&quot;

—Optimus Prime imparts wisdom; Ultra Magnus is no longer able to applaud. 

===Minus One===
&quot;Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another? Master?!&quot;
&quot;I'm thinking.&quot;

—Starscream discovers that Megatron has been reading The Hands-Off Manager. 


&quot;I am tempted to force you to share my perception of things.&quot;

—Shockwave really hates or really loves having one eye, as he tells Starscream. 


&quot;Exemplary teamwork.&quot;

—Megatron, after Starscream convinces Shockwave not to share his perspective. 

Shockwave: &quot;My liege, forgive my impotence, but what is the logic behind ruling ''two'' worlds?&quot;
Megatron: &quot;It has taken me quite some time to fully comprehend that Earth and Cybertron have always been linked. Two halves of one whole; Primus and Unicron. And that to rule only one, would be to never truly rule either.&quot;

—Megatron on the significance of Earth. 


&quot;Whoa. Optimus Prime, the remix.&quot;

—Miko comments on Soundwave's DJ skills. 


&quot;Soundwave superior, Autobots inferior.&quot;

—Soundwave paraphrases a little-known line from an obscure movie. 


&quot;Can't we throw a tarp over him? He's creeping me out.&quot;
&quot;Yeah, it's like he's watching. No matter where you go.&quot;

—Bulkhead and Smokescreen are intimidated even by a deactivated Soundwave. 

===Persuasion===
&quot;This is no place for a one-handed Autobot.&quot;
&quot;I'll take one bum hand over one good eye any day.&quot;

—Shockwave and Ultra Magnus trade politically incorrect barbs. 


&quot;Humans. Always the weak link.&quot;

—Starscream showing that he still doesn't quite get it. 


&quot;Ratchet didn't think this new hand he built for me was good enough. But I'll tell you what truly isn't good enough: giving up.&quot;

—Keep practicing those speeches, Ultra Magnus, profundity will come someday. 


Ratchet: Megatron, you would just try to conquer Cybertron all over again, and enslave anyone who refuses to pledge allegiance to you.
Megatron: Of course I would!

—Decepticon or not, Megatron has little use for guile. 


Ratchet: What assurance do I have that you would leave humankind be, and that you wouldn't instantly terminate me once you get what you need?
Megatron: None whatsoever. After all, we both know that as a Decepticon, any assurances I might offer would be worthless.

—Seriously, Megatron is crazy honest about lying. 


&quot;Miko, I needed that!&quot;

—Raf hangs around Ratchet entirely too much. 


Megatron: It will not take long for this Omega Lock's drives to be fully operational. All that is still needed to restore our home is the cybermatter to launch through it.
Ratchet: Which requires a stabilized formula for the production of synthetic energon.
Megatron: I have every confidence in you, doctor.
Ratchet: I'll do it. But then you already knew that, didn't you?

—Ratchet makes a deal with the aptly named Megatron, after which one can only hope that he has Daniel Webster on speed dial. 

===Synthesis===
&quot;Starscream, you did destroy the Autobot base, did you not?&quot;
&quot;With great fervor, my lord. Why do you ask?&quot;
&quot;Because Laserbeak's frequency has been detected on radar.&quot;
&quot;But that's not possible. He's right here in Soundwave's torso.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream with a sentence you can only get from Transformers. 


[Over comm] &quot;Lord Megatron. There's been a situation... more like an accident, really—&quot;
&quot;Spit. It. OUT!&quot;
&quot;THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED!&quot;

—Knock Out knows Megatron likes to shoot the messenger, but Megatron is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. 


&quot;At last. Good riddance to a wretched species.&quot;
&quot;Although I will say they manufacture some fine-looking automobiles.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out debate the merits of Earth. 


&quot;Why would my liege wish to destroy us?&quot;
&quot;Having just been on the receiving end of your might, one theory springs to mind. Megatron ''fears'' you. And any like you.&quot;

—Predaking is confused by Ratchet's news of Megatron's betrayal. Maybe it was calling yourself a king that did it. 


&quot;Is it true that ''you'' ordered the annihilation of my army?!&quot;
&quot;Indeed. And my only mistake was not seeing the extermination through.&quot;

—Predaking learns that Megatron doesn't fear him quite so much as Ratchet thought.

===Deadlock===
&quot;Pack light. Pack light! [Finds his rotary buffer] Oh! Pack smart!&quot; 

—Knock Out, not needing to be told that cowards survive. 


&quot;You took my voice. You will never rob anyone of anything ever again.&quot; 

—Bumblebee, getting payback at last.
 

&quot;I will avenge you, Master!&quot;
[Shockwave grabs him]
&quot;Starscream, do not be a fool!&quot;
[They flee as Starscream resists]
&quot;Curse you and your logic!&quot; 

—Starscream and Shockwave debate the merits of revenge. 


&quot;Bumblebee...&quot;
&quot;Your voice...&quot;
&quot;My voice? What're you g-...My voice!&quot;
[grabs Ratchet in a great big hug]
&quot;Ratchet! I have my pipes back!&quot;
&quot;Errhmm, y-yes! Yes we noticed!&quot; 

—Ratchet, Arcee, and Bumblebee in a crazy-happy moment. Admit it, you smiled too. 


&quot;Rrrgh, your elbow articulator is digging into my lateral flexer!&quot;
&quot;Do you intend to whine for the duration of the voyage?&quot;
 
—Starscream and Shockwave get used to each other's company. This is going to be a long trip. 


&quot;Ah, such luster.&quot;
[Autobots stare in disbelief]
&quot;What? I'm joining the winning team.&quot; 

—Knock Out proves once again just how self-important he really is, right before Miko shuts him up. 


&quot;Raf...&quot;
&quot;I know Bee. You don't have to say anything.&quot;
&quot;I never did.&quot; 

—Raf and Bumblebee share their last exchange...for now. 


&quot;Until we meet again, old friend...&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet also share their last exchange, and in a way, to us.

==Film==
{{Main|Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Transformers animated TV shows|Prime]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Discovery Family shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>fehvqmx2wwsb2ct1m6z27w3emnqrtbx</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154798</id>
      <parentid>3154796</parentid>
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      <text bytes="77934" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{otherusesof|Transformers|Transformers}}
'''''[[w:Transformers: Prime|Transformers: Prime]]''''' is one of several animated television series featuring the [[w:Transformers (toy line)|Transformers toy line]].
{{tv-cleanup|2011-02-06}}

==Season 1==

===Darkness Rising, Part One===

:''[Bumblebee arrives.]''
:'''Jack Darby:''' Friend of yours?
:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]:''' Family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Raf Esquivel:''' What are they?
:'''Jack Darby:''' Talking cars that turn into robots. Or the other way around.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
 
:'''Raf''': So, if you guys are robots, who made you...?
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Ugh! Puh-leez... 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 

:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': We are autonomous robotic organisms, from the planet Cybertron...
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Decepticons! I have returned.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 2===
:''[To the newly returned Megatron.]''
:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Then, as your humble servant, shall I ready the space bridge to bring forth the Decepticon army you have ''surely'' gathered during your three years in space?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:''[Megatron has tested the Dark Energon on a deceased Cliffjumper, resulting in an out-of-control zombie.]''
:'''Starscream''': THAT'S YOUR PLAN?!! BRING AUTOBOTS BACK FROM THE DEAD TO ATTACK US?!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Ratchet is arguing against keeping the humans at the base.]''
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers_Prime|Ratchet]]''': They have no protective shell! If they get underfoot, they will go...squish.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Bulkhead_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Bulkhead]]''': Team Prime knows when to use force, and how much to use!
:''[Bulkhead crushes a tool in his fist]''
:'''Ratchet''': Bulkhead, I ''NEEDED'' THAT!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Megatron studies the Dark Energon.]''
:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Blood of Unicron, how I might fathom the depths of your mystery, become worthy of wielding your astonishing power!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Miko Nakadai''': Robots who get dizzy?
:'''Raf Esquivel''': Robots with emotions....
:'''Jack Darby''': Robots...who can ''die''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Jack Darby''': Well, if I don't call my mom, like, now, I'm pretty sure the cops will be out looking for me.
:'''Optimus Prime''': Have you broken a law?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Arcee#Transformers:_Prime|Arcee]]''': Grab your helmet, it's go time.
:'''Jack Darby''': Aww, it's ''Saturday''!
:'''Arcee''': You can watch cartoons back at base with Bumblebee.
:'''Jack Darby''': Tchh. Cartoons? I'm sixteen. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Darkness Rising, Part 3===
&quot;I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot; 

—Ratchet's tools suffer further abuse... from one of his already abused tools. 


&quot;I fear that when our master reached for the stars, he came down with a touch of... space madness.&quot; 

—Starscream, ever ready to undermine Megatron. 


&quot;Besides, Ratchet hasn't been in the field since the war.&quot;
&quot;My pistons may be rusty, but my hearing is sharp as ever!&quot; 

—Arcee, on Ratchet's current military qualifications. 


&quot;Rise my army! Behold! &lt;big&gt;'''''The Power of DARK ENERGON!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;

—Megatron raising the dead

===Darkness Rising, Part 4===

&quot;Megatron has desecrated the resting place of our fallen ancestors... and his own!&quot;
&quot;Not even the dead are free from his war-mongering.&quot; 

—Ratchet states the obvious in a slightly novel way while Optimus rues the depth of Megatron's evil. 


&quot;I wouldn't.&quot;
&quot;Oh, but I ''might''...&quot; 

—Arcee threatens Starscream, who doesn't feel very threatened. 


&quot;I like pie. Can we stop for pie?&quot;

&quot;You found Fowler! ROCK ON!&quot; 

—Delerious Fowler and Miko.


&quot;No point in long good-byes. Here's the door.&quot; 

—Ratchet fights back the tears as Jack prepares to leave.


&quot;I ordered you to await my command! Instead, your mindless agenda resulted in the disabling of my ship, and the delay of my plans!&quot;
&quot;My intentions were pure, master. I only wanted you to be rid of Optimus—&quot;''(Megatron slams his foot on Starscream's face)''
&quot;NO ONE RIDS ME OF OPTIMUS PRIME BUT ''ME!'' DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! ''DO YOU?!''&quot;
''(Choking)'' &quot;Lord Megatron, I will make things right, I swear! I know how to set your plans back on course...!&quot;
''(Megatron picks him up by the throat)''
&quot;Explain, Starscream. '''''Quickly'''''.&quot;

—Megatron raging, Starscream groveling.


&quot;I've been raised to be responsible. To my schoolwork, to my mom, my job.&quot; 

—The Spectacular Jack Darby


&quot;Optimus, these are engineering specs for a space-time vortex generator.&quot;
&quot;Megatron is building a space-bridge. If he hasn't already.&quot;
&quot;The sooner he leaves, the better.&quot;
&quot;Bulkhead, a space-bridge runs in two directions. Megatron may not be trying to ''leave'' Earth, but to bring through his conquering army.&quot;
&quot;The ''main event'' Megatron referred to? But the only place Megatron could possibly recruit that many fallen warriors...&quot;
&quot;Precisely...CYBERTRON.&quot;

-The Autobots have a sudden realization.

===Darkness Rising, Part Five===
:'''[[w:Ratchet_(Transformers)#Transformers:_Prime|Ratchet]]''': Optimus, if you leave me stranded on a planet teeming with humans, I will never forgive you. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Megatron#Transformers:_Prime|Megatron]]''': Optimus Prime never disappoints. Unlike YOU, Starscream!  
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Starscream#Transformers:_Prime|Starscream]]''': Surely, Lord Megatron, the Autobots are up to something.
:'''Megatron''': ''[sarcastically]'' Really, Starscream?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Megatron''': Ah...misdirection Optimus. You would've made a fine Decepticon.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I ''chose'' my side.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[With the destruction of his space bridge approaching, Megatron turns to find his forces retreating.]''
:'''Megatron''': Starscream! Where is my ship?!
:'''Starscream''': We would never make it, Lord Megatron! Don't be a fool! ''Take flight and retreat!!''
&lt;hr width+&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Starscream is delivering Megatron's eulogy.]''
:'''Starscream''': Decepticons, it is with deep sorrow that I note for the log... Megatron's spark has been extinguished... All. Hail. Starscream.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;

:'''Optimus Prime''': Without a means of leaving this world, we Autobots take strength in the bonds we have forged with our three young friends - true warriors. If not in body, then in spirit. My name is Optimus Prime, and I send this message. Though we did not choose to be of Earth, it would seem that we are here to stay. If you approach this planet with hostile intent, know this: We will defend ourselves. We will defend humanity. We will defend... our home.

=== Masters and Students===

:'''Vechicon Soldier''': If we failed to conquer Earth under Lord Megatron's command, what hope do we have now while the Autobots still defend it?
:'''Starscream''': ''[growls]'' Allow me to be crystal clear: I studied for millennia under our former master, thus I am equipped to lead you. I, Megatron's true heir - Lord Starscream, ''EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION!''
:''[Vehicons begin to murmur]''
:'''Starscream''': ''[snarls and storms out in frustration]'' What use are troops who can't rise to the task of inflicting unspeakable destruction in my name?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Arcee:''' Maybe it needs one of these doohickeys... ''[Holds up a part]''
:'''Jack:''' You're a motorcycle, Arcee. Shouldn't you know how to build a motorcycle engine?
:'''Arcee:''' You're a human, Jack. Can you build me a small intestine? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream:''' Awaken, warrior. Rise and serve your new master!
:'''Skyquake:''' Skyquake serves only ''one'' master.
:'''Starscream:''' Excellent. Your loyalty and devotion will set a fine example for the troops. No need to be timid, Skyquake - you may bow.
:'''Skyquake:''' You fail to grasp my meaning. I am here on a mission, assigned to me by my one master: Megatron.
:'''Starscream:''' Yes...him. Sadly, Megatron is...no longer with us.
:'''Skyquake:''' Impossible!
:'''Starscream:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Why is this ''so difficult'' for everyone to accept?! Skyquake, ''I'' located you. ''I'' awakened you. Thus ''I'', Lord Starscream, am now your master!!!
:''[Skyquake growls and glares down at him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Skyquake''': ''[After scanning a jet mode]'' Air superiority achieved!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:''[Starscream yanks a shard of Dark Energon from Megatron's chest.]''
:'''Starscream''': And this time...STAY DEAD!

===Scrapheap===

:'''Raf Esquivel''': The Arctic? I've always wanted to see snow.
:'''[[w:Optimus_Prime#Transformers:_Prime|Optimus Prime]]''': I would invite you to join, Rafael, but the conditions are much too extreme, even for we Autobots.
:'''Raf Esquivel''': I understand...
:''Optimus starts to leave, then pauses.''
:'''Optimus Prime''': But, I will bring you back a snowball.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&quot;Bulkhead, you never run.&quot; 
&quot;Miko, you haven't seen a swarm of these things devour a bot. I have. They pick you apart from the inside out, going for the small juicy bits first, fuse by fuse, circuit by circuit, 'til there's nothing left, and I mean nothing... not even your optics.&quot; 

—Miko gets some nightmare fuel from Bulkhead. 


&quot;I get to be your bodyguard for once. How cool is that?!&quot;
&quot;Raf found the first one here, right?&quot;
''(Lights turn off for a second followed by Bulkhead's scream)''
&quot;Did you just scream like a little girl?&quot;
&quot;No! ...Maybe... Can we talk about this later?&quot; 

—Miko and Bulkhead searching, and a more hilarious reversal of roles cannot be found. 


&quot;What do you suggest? Wait, how about a game? Let's play 'Who Screwed Things Up Back at Base'.&quot;
&quot;Our predicament could be the result of a simple malfunction.&quot;
&quot;Caused by Bulkhead.&quot; 

—Arcee and Optimus prove that when things go wrong, blame it on Bulkhead. 


&quot;Bulkhead may be...too large for this world. But his inner strength is without bounds. One should not be measured by size alone.&quot; 

—Optimus gives us a life lesson while finding a nice way to call Bulkhead fat. 


&quot;Ready for the main course? Come and get it!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, king of one-liners. 


&quot;I'd invite you in, but the place is a mess.&quot; 

—Seriously, give Bulkhead a crown. 


&quot;We're just fortunate that this infestation happened...on a Saturday.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds there's an upside to having human companions.

===Con Job===
&quot;Do you not see that you are vastly outnumbered?&quot;
&quot;I see fellas who might vastly enjoy watching me pound some dents into you.&quot; 

—Starscream and Wheeljack 


&quot;I'm still picking shrapnel out of my backside!&quot; 
&quot;I'm not surprised, given the size of your backside.&quot; 

—Bulkhead reminisces, Arcee zings. 


&quot;If anything happens to my favourite Wrecker, I'm coming after you!&quot; 

—Wheeljack tells Miko to take good care of his best bud for him.

===Convoy===
&quot;Ah-ah, no need, Agent Fowler. I will handle the driving.&quot;
&quot;It's going to be a long trip.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime lets Agent Fowler in on his no-touch policy. 


&quot;Gentlemen, stop their engines.&quot; 

—Silas 


&quot;Is that so? Tell me, Si, what's the market price for a D.N.G.S. these days?&quot;
&quot;What makes you think we intend to sell it, Agent Fowler?&quot; 

—Agent Fowler and Silas discussing the value of Fowler's Dingus. 


&quot;After a long road trip, feels good to get out of the car, stretch my legs, and kick some tailpipe!&quot; 

—Bulkhead, the reigning king of one-liners. 


&quot;You want me to not only bridge you into a confined space, but one traveling at 90 miles per hour? I can't even count the number of things that can go wrong. Mass displacement trauma, twisted limbs, metal burn! Well, maybe not the last one.&quot; 

—Overly attached Ratchet to Jack, Miko and Raf 


&quot;First rule of combat: Never leave the enemy with the spoils.&quot; 

—Silas

===Deus ex Machina===
&quot;Miko, listen. If you fail high school, you can't go to—uh...uni...kesa...colls...w-wait, what's that word again?&quot;
&quot;Uh, 'college'?&quot; 

—Bulkhead tries to give Miko a lecture on academia. 


&quot;Look Miko, before I became a warrior I was a laborer, construction. I can build stuff, I can break stuff, and that's it.&quot;
&quot;I love breaking stuff! I wanna be just like you, Bulk.&quot;
&quot;Aaargh...why would you wanna be like me, when you can be a medic like Ratchet?&quot; 

—Bulkhead fails to convince Miko regarding the benefits of education. 


&quot;It's about time, Knock Out. I do not enjoy being kept waiting!&quot;
&quot;Ah, it was a long drive, Starscream. I'm still picking bugs out of my grille.&quot;
&quot;Yes, right, you're one of those.&quot;
&quot;Come again?&quot;
&quot;Never understood why any self-respecting Decepticon would choose 'automobile' as his vehicle mode when he could have flight!&quot;
&quot;I like the way I look in steel-belted radials.&quot; 

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss an infraction of the norm. 


&quot;We have a history.&quot;
&quot;(chuckles) And you have a pet. Does it play catch?&quot; 

—Bulkhead and Breakdown, just before the latter throws a giant stone pillar at Miko.


&quot;We're already trespassers and thieves. Why not add forgery to the list?&quot; 

—Jack Darby, master of logic.


&quot;Wait! What are you doing?!&quot;
&quot;What I do best: ''(grabs Energon Harvester)'' Breaking things!&quot; ''(punches Starscream)'' 

—Starscream is no match for Bulkhead's sheer awesomeness. 


&quot;He's a glutton for punishment.&quot;
''(Autobots arrive)''
&quot;Fight?&quot;
&quot;Mmm, drive.&quot; 

—Knockout and Breakdown are prevented from killing Bulkhead.

===Speed Metal===

&quot;Winning isn't enough, Jack. You want to make him ''cry.''&quot;

—Arcee explains her method of getting even. 


&quot;You have been street racing among the humans again, haven't you?&quot;
&quot;I'm not only an automobile, I'm an automobile enthusiast.&quot;
&quot;I DO strive to run a tight ship, Knock Out. I would strongly suggest that you seek my permission next time you decide to disappear on one of your little...jaunts.&quot;
&quot;No worries, Herr Kommandant.&quot;
&quot;It is 'Lord' to you.&quot;
&quot;Only if Megatron takes a nosedive.&quot;
&quot;Hhhnnn. The day our master emerges from stasis, I will graciously relinquish the title. But I believe that outcome is unlikely. Something to do with the quality of medical care around here. So continue buffing. We do want Megatron looking his best for the memorial.&quot;
''(Starscream leaves the room.)''
&quot;Buff ''this.''&quot;

—Knock Out and Starscream don't exactly see eye-to-eye. 


Arcee: Have you guys seen Jack?
Miko: ...not since...we last saw him.
Arcee: They're racing, aren't they?
Raf: Just this once.
Arcee: Did you know about this?
Bulkhead: No. Maybe. A little.

—No one on Team Prime can lie. 


&quot;'Bee, do not engage. Your first priority is to keep Jack safe. [murmurs] Until I get my hands on him.&quot;

—Arcee is a scary guardian. 


Raf: We should just tell Optimus the truth.
Miko: Absolutely not! We made a deal. Just act completely normal.
Optimus: Raf, Miko, do either of you know where the others have gone?
Miko: ''(innocently)'' Why, no, sir. We do not know.
Raf: ''(stiffly)'' Miko is correct. We do not know.
Miko: Why would ''we'' know?
Optimus: ''(raises an eyebrow)'' Hmm.

—Seriously, it's a minor miracle the kids haven't blown their cover with their parents yet. 


&quot;Do you know how hard that is to replace?!&quot;

—Knock Out loses a door to Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Knock Out! Was I not clear?! You have defied my orders yet again!&quot;
&quot;My mistake, Commander Starscream. But, I've learned my lesson, and paid the price...&quot;
&quot;It. Is. ''LOOOORD!'' And you have paid, when I ''say'' you have paid. Do not worry, your punishment shall be merely... cosmetic.&quot;
''(Starscream extends a razor-sharp finger)''
&quot;No... Not the finish! ''Anything'' but the finish! ''NOOOOOOOOOO!''&quot;

—''Lord'' Starscream reminds Knock Out where he stands.

===Predatory===
&quot;I may not have stinger-proof metal skin, Arcee, but in a pinch, I can use my multi-function pocket knife and magnesium fire-starter to cook up some freeze-dried mac and cheese.&quot;

—Jack subtly plants a Chekhov's gun. 


&quot;Partners don't ditch partners. &quot;
&quot;Get this straight, you're ''not'' my partner, you're a ''liability''!&quot;
&quot;I don't believe you! I can see it in your eyes: you're afraid, Arcee. And you're ''never'' afraid.&quot;

—Jack calls Arcee's bluff.


&quot;These days, I travel solo in pursuit of my new hobby.&quot;
&quot;I got a look at your souvenir case.&quot;
&quot;You mean my trophies. I collect endangered species. Of course, they aren't really endangered...until they meet me.&quot;

—Airachnid shares her favorite pastime with Arcee. 


&quot;So much for closure.&quot;

—Arcee is annoyed as Airachnid gets away.

===Sick Mind===
&quot;Is he displaying brain wave activity?&quot;
&quot;Spiking hard. His sick mind's still at work.&quot;

- Arcee namedrops the title. 


&quot;I will NOT allow Optimus to pass knowing that Megatron will outlive him!&quot;

- Ratchet, increasingly desperate to save Optimus. 


&quot;An inglorious fate that he should remain in this vegatative state...&quot;

- Starscream composes poetry about Megatron. Sound familiar? 


&quot;If this is my subconsious...''WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY HEAD?!''&quot;

-Megatron unintentionally makes us laugh.


&quot;You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.&quot;

- Starscream to Knock-Out, who evidentally doesn't remember what happened the last time Starscream's claws got close to him. 


&quot;Speak now, or forever hold your peace.&quot;

- Starscream to Soundwave as the former is about to take Megatron off life support. And Soundwave STILL won't say a word. 


&quot;I'm out... or should I say, in?&quot;

- Megatron cackles as he awakes in Bumblebee's body.

===Out of His Head===
&quot;Lucky for us Megatron was still alive. 
&lt;Bumblebee beeps&gt;
&quot;Yeah, I actually said that.&quot; 

—Arcee surprising us all. 


&quot;Hm, hm. Yes, very nice.&quot; 

—Ratchet is unimpressed with Raf's picture of his family. 


&quot;Yes! I love when a plan comes together!&quot; 

—Starscream, fan of the A-Team. 


&quot;Decepticons! Your rightful lord and master has returned!&quot; 

—Megatron reawakens. 


&quot;Megatron's greatest mistake was ever allowing you to live, Prime!&quot; 

—Starscream, a few seconds before Megatron shows up. 


&quot;Lord Megatron? You...are...you're healed! Praise the Allspark! It is a miracle!&quot;
&quot;Oh, it will be a miracle all right, Starscream, if you survive what I have planned for you!

—Starscream discovers that Megatron doesn't tolerate traitors anymore. 


&quot;But the Autobots! Optimus! Right there, waiting for you!&quot;
&quot;My greatest mistake? I've made a few. But there is one I do NOT intend to make again!&quot;

—A desperate Starscream and a surprisingly self-aware Megatron.

===Shadowzone===
&quot;You cannot harm me while Dark Energon flows through my veins!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''', seconds before Optimus blows his arm off.


&quot;I can't see without my glasses!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What are you, ninety?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Not. Helping!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;[sighs] I'll get them!&quot;
:—A glasses-less '''Raf''', a jerky '''Miko''', and a frustrated '''Jack'''.

&quot;Uhhh, Starscream, I don't quite understand how this could have happened...&quot;
&quot;And yet, it DID! Can you imagine my horror, there I am, minding my own business,  when my arm just FALLS OFF! Clearly Megatron inflicted more damage upon me than you realized...DOCTOR...&quot;

—Starscream feeds Knock Out a string of completely unbelievable lies.


&quot;How can a zombie arm move faster than the actual zombie?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't know, Miko. Must re-animated itself.&quot;

:—That's a very good question, '''Miko'''. And a good answer from '''Raf'''.


&quot;Look what I found in storage- What are you doing?&quot;
&quot;You were right, Knock Out! I'm much too attached to my original appendage. I will retrieve it.&quot;

:—Knock Out is confused when Starscream suddenly changes his mind.

&quot;Ratchet, can we triangulate the geographical position of the cell phone signal?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''In a parallel dimensional plane?!''... Let's find out.&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' poses a challenge for '''Ratchet '''.

&quot;Look, if you're going to blame anybody, blame me.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I'm sorry, could you repeat that? ...a couple dozen times?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;That's a lot of owning up.&quot;

:— '''Miko''' owns up, while '''Jack''' makes it clear he's still ticked off. And '''Ratchet''' is about to blow his top.

===Operation: Breakdown===
&quot;As much as I'll miss our little reunions... ''hammer time''.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown''' before being captured by MECH

&quot;It's a trap!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Would this be a 'roll out' kind of trap?&quot;

:—'''Optimus Prime''' ackbars and '''Arcee''' continues to be genre savvy.


&quot;'Marco!' You're supposed to say 'Polo!'&quot;

:—'''Bulkhead''' plays with MECH.


&quot;Never run when you can fight.&quot;
:—'''Breakdown'''

&quot;One day, you will repay your debt to me, Breakdown... the day it comes time to choose sides.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
“Huh... between ‘Bots and ‘Cons?”&lt;br&gt;
“Between myself – and Megatron.”
:—'''Starscream''' informs a confused '''Breakdown''' of his plans for the future.

===Crisscross===

&quot;Ah, the mother lode.&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Government database?&quot;&lt;br/&gt;
&quot;Social networking page.&quot;

:—'''Silas''' teaches '''Airachnid''' the fastest way to track down a teenager.


&quot;Now, I know we promised the spider-bot that she would have first crack at you, but something tells me she's going to turn our mutual crisscross... into a double-cross.&quot;
:—'''Silas'''


&quot;Jack, your motorcycle?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;I can explain, Mom. Wait, I already did.&quot;
:—Even with '''June Darby''' in mortal peril, '''Jack''' can still crack wise. 


&quot;Oh, not again!&quot;
:—'''Agent Fowler''' is exasperated at Decepticons copying his vehicles.


&quot;So that's how it's done.  Genius.&quot;
:—'''Silas''' on seeing how Airachnid scans a vehicle mode.


&quot;Mom, meet my science fiction club!&quot;
:—'''Jack''' introducing June to the Autobots

===Metal Attraction===
&quot;Allow me to redeem myself, master. What I have lost...is a constant reminder that I must never again fail you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' rather darkly references his new eyepatch.


&quot;I heard a rumour about a rogue 'Con. How about I hogtie you and haul you in?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Breakdown''' has no sympathy for those who disrespect Megatron's rule.


&quot;Where's Arcee?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Let's just say she's got your back.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Scrap.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—A confused Bulkhead, a sarcastic Miko, and an annoyed Arcee.


&quot;Still up for a truce, muscles?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Only because I hate Bulkhead more than I hate you.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''Airachnid''' and '''Breakdown''' decide to look at the bigger picture.


&quot;Wanna dance?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You're not my type.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Bulkhead''' and '''Airachnid''' exchange words before they go toe to toe.


&quot;Arcee, I think I owe you an apology.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You do?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I worry...especially when I feel like I can't control things—which, with a teenager, is all the time.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:—'''June''' admits the troubles of being a single mother to '''Arcee'''.


'''Megatron''': Breakdown, you dare to return empty-handed?!&lt;br&gt;
'''Breakdown''': No, Master.&lt;br&gt;
''[Turns around, revealing Airachnid magnetized to his back]''&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Airachnid...it has been some time.&lt;br&gt;
'''Airachnid''': Lord Megatron...what can I say? It's good to be back.&lt;br&gt;
:—It would seem the Autobots have a new problem to deal with...

===Rock Bottom===
&quot;Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to see Slash Monkey?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uhh—&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;''Forever!'' And it's their only U.S. date!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well, there's a shock. I mean, who doesn't love obscure Bulgarian shriek metal?&quot;
:—'''Miko''' and '''Jack''' discuss rock concerts.


&quot;She went in. Unbelievable.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Really? Have you...met her?&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' and '''Jack''' watch Miko run into the cave.


&quot;DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, STARSCREAM! I have been wise to your transgressions from the beginning. Not only did you pluck the Dark Energon from my chest in a failed attempt to snuff my spark, but you tried to raise yourself own undead warrior with it. It's no secret that you lost an arm in the process, which you've since had replaced.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You know about that?!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' and '''Starscream''' discuss the latter's endeavors.


&quot;You have ceased to be of use to me, Starscream...so you shall simply cease to be.&quot;

:—'''Megatron''', with possibly the most hardcore one-liner he's ever delivered.


&quot;Roll out.&quot;

:—'''Jack''' being genre savvy as he activates some Decepticon mining equipment.


''(In front of a collapsed mine, which Megatron was in)''
&quot;Heh heh...Haahahahaha! &quot;Predictable&quot;, ''master?'' Is that what you called me? Well, now who has hit ''rock bottom''? ...What's that? I'm sorry. I can't hear you beneath all that ''rubble''. Hahahahahaaa! Farewell, ''Lord'' Megatron! May you RUST IN PEACE!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' monologues a little, thinking Megatron is dead.


&quot;Well, what are you waiting for? Think of the glory, seize the day! Optimus would.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No, he wouldn't. Not like this.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I will be sure to share the details of our little conversation with Optimus, the day I rip out his spark!&quot;
:—A pinned '''Megatron''' is discovered by '''Jack''', who refuses to take advantage of the situation and kill him.


&quot;If you think I'm going to beg for mercy, Starscream, forget it!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Er, yes, begging for mercy would be quite pathetic, wouldn't it?&quot;
:—'''Bulkhead''' unintentionally insults '''Starscream'''.


'''Starscream:''' &quot; MASTER! PLEASE! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I BEG OF YOU!&quot;


'''Starscream:''' &quot;Master! You're alive! Thank the Allspark! &lt;i&gt;[ Megatron glares at Starscream ]&lt;/i&gt; I did not abandon you, master! I returned! To save you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron:''' &quot;Save me?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
'''Starscream:''' &lt;i&gt;[ scared ]&lt;/i&gt; &quot;Look into my spark, Lord Megatron! My intentions were true! PLEASE! ''HAVE MERCY!!''&quot;

===Partners===
&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. I now realize I was never destined to be leader, or even an equal partner. And, I am at peace with that. I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Of who I was always meant to be. STARSCREAM: second in command, humble servant to Lord Megatron. Thank you for listening, Soundwave.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' speaks before Soundwave. Like talking to a brick wall.


&quot;Hey partner, heck of a view you got up here. If there's even a small chance your spark is out there listening, well, we could really use you, Cliff. Seems like everyday another Decepticon arrives on the scene. We're outnumbered and outgunned.  Yeah, I know what you'd say, 'Sounds like a fair fight,' and if that's the world we live in, so be it.  I just want you to know, I haven't given up. I'm going to find the Con who took you from us.&quot;
:—'''Arcee''' visiting Cliffjumper's grave, and foreshadowing all at the same time. Multi-tasking.


&quot;Oh you would do well to respect me, Airachnid. Before I joined Megatron, I was Air Commander of a squadron of Energon Seekers.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;On Cybertron, and how many eons ago was that?&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' tries to be hot, and gets burned by '''Airachnid'''


&quot;Airachnid... what I wouldn't do to get my hands around her wretched throat.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;So we can agree on one thing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Oh, you have no idea. She showed up one day and the next thing you know, she's acting like she runs the place. She whispered lies into Megatron's ear, maneuvered to remove me of my rightful place.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Well... she terminated my partner.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What?! She's taking credit for scrapping him now too?! That was my doing!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;What? You weren't there.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Uh, of course I wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;No one. Who are you talking about?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Tailgate.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Who's Tailgate?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;You are the one. You extinguished Cliffjumper!&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' and '''Arcee''' compare their stories on Airachnid only for Starscream to let it slip about Cliffjumper. I pity the fool.


&quot;You left Starscream with the Autobots?! Do you have any notion of the consequences of your blunder?!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;But, my lordship! It was Starscream's incompetence that cost us the Immobilizer!&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I don't care about some trinket! My second-in-command is a prisoner of the enemy! Which means all Decepticon intelligence could be at the fingertips of the Autobots!&quot;
:—'''Megatron''' rages while '''Airachnid''' watches her chances of being his new BFF vanish.


&quot;It is the external wounds which heal the quickest.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;I thought settling scores would allow me to move on... instead I chased away our hope of winning this war anytime soon.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
&quot;Wisdom cannot be granted, Arcee. It must be earned, sometimes at a cost.&quot;
:—'''Optimus Prime''' and '''Arcee''' on being the better 'bot.


&quot;I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. But I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Starscream: aligned with no side; servant, to no one.&quot;
:—'''Starscream''' goes rogue on us.

===TMI===
Bulkhead: Hey, Ratch, check out the monster truck rally Miko took me to last week.
Miko: I compiled some highlights with my cellphone.
Ratchet: Innocent vehicles battling for the entertainment of human spectators? (shudders) Bloodsport!
Bulkhead and Miko: Yeah! 

—Ratchet disapproves of Bulkhead and Miko's taste in sports. 


&quot;Come to papa.&quot;
(Bulkhead knocks him away) &quot;Run to mommy!&quot;
(Breakdown grabs Bulkhead from behind) &quot;Say uncle! Say it!&quot;

—Knock Out, Bulkhead, and Breakdown continue with humorous mid-battle banter. 


&quot;How about our Sunday morning dune-bashings? Rocking out to Slash Monkey? Helping me with my homework? Trick question! You know I don't do homework...don't you?&quot;

—Miko is at least more subtle in her remember-who-you are monologue than Raf was. 


&quot;You...painted my paint job! Prepare for surgery!&quot;

—Knock Out really needs to sort out his priorities. 


&quot;Because the energy took Bulkhead's mind with it. Heavenward. Lost to the stars. It's my fault you'll never know the rest of the formula, and it's my fault Bulkhead's gone forever.&quot; 

—Miko pulls an Optimus on us.


===Stronger, Faster===

&quot;HOOAH!&quot;

—Ratchet gets a new catchphrase. He needed that. 


Ratchet: ''(clicks as he walks by)'' How's it hummin'?
Arcee: ... Did he just?
Bulkhead: Stronger... faster... studlier. 

—Yeah, he did. 


&quot;It's all right, I'm an emergency vehicle!&quot; [transforms]

—Ratchet, engaging the Decepticons, threatening the title holder of King of One-liners


&quot;You know your problem, Optimus? For such a big, strong 'Bot...you're SOFT. You didn't pound Megatron into scrap when you had the chance! Many chances, in fact!!&quot; 

—Ratchet under the influence of Synth-En, getting a little too close to the truth.


&quot;Yeah, she's kinda domineering and the extra arms are weird, but... I find myself intrigued by her.&quot; 

—Breakdown chats to a Vehicon about Airachnid.


''(Megatron twists Ratchet's arm, and he cries out in pain)''
&quot;Ratchet ''is'' a bit more spirited than I recollect...&quot;
&quot;Chemical enhancement, perhaps?&quot;
''(Megatron savagely rips Ratchet's chest open, causing him to bleed Synth-En. He slams Ratchet to the ground.)''
&quot;There's your laboratory sample, ''doctor''. Find out.&quot;

—Megatron talking to Knock Out, apparently forgetting that this is a kids' show.

===One Shall Fall===
&quot;And it was written in the Covenant of Primus that 'when the forty-seven spheres align, a perpetual conflict will culminate upon a world forged from chaos and the weak shall perish in the shadow of a rising darkness.'&quot; 

-Optimus Prime recites a passage of ill tidings. 

Arcee: &quot;No 'sky is raining fire'?&quot;
Ratchet: &quot;Goes without saying. It is a doom prophecy, after all.&quot;
Bulkhead: &quot;I say it's a load of hooey.&quot; 

-The Autobots' reaction to the above passage. 


&quot;Um, Optimus! You wanna see something funny?&quot;
&quot;No.&quot; 

—Jack learns of Optimus Prime's minimal sense of humor. 

&quot;Agent Fowler, I fear that Megatron's desperation may be at its zenith, and you know that I cannot condone a single human casualty.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime encourages Fowler to leave defense of the US base to the Autobots (and provides a hint of foreshadowing). 


&quot;It would seem I swatted a bee and squashed a bug.&quot; 

—Megatron, who is being a jerk. 


&quot;Does he seem to be... 'losing it'?&quot;
&quot;A bit...&quot; 

—Knock Out and Airachnid discuss Megatron's state of mind. 


&quot;Curse my Cybertronian pride! We've welcomed these humans into our lives, yet I bothered to learn so little of their science, or medicine.&quot; 

-Ratchet panics over his inability to help Raf. 


&quot;I have been foolish not to see what history has proven over and over again: that Autobots and Decepticons will never mend their ways. If there can be no diplomatic solution to this perpetual conflict, then I must not allow more darkness to fall upon this or any planet. Megatron must be destroyed!&quot; 

—It's about slaggin' time, Optimus Prime. 


&quot;I have come for Megatron, and him alone. Stand down and be spared.&quot; 

-Optimus Prime is on the warpath. Primus help us all. 


&quot;Megatron! I am here, on your ship! Come and FACE ME!&quot;

—Optimus hailing Megatron, ''using the wrist communicator of a dead Vehicon.'' Dude is ''hardcore.''


&quot;Megatron, today you answer for your crimes against Cybertron and against humanity. One shall stand...&quot;
&quot;And one shall fall. ''You'', Optimus Prime!&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Megatron, who has heard this speech before. 


&quot;Your defeat was foreseen here by the ancients. What was it they wrote? 'The weak shall perish?'&quot;
&quot;Do not believe everything you read.&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus Prime, unusually philosophical in the middle of a death-match.

===One Shall Rise part 1===
&quot;The ‘Cons killed a unicorn?&quot; ''(Awkward silence)'' &quot;White horse with a horn on its head... prances around all sparkly?&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' sure knows how to lighten the mood.


'''Optimus''': June, it deeply grieves me that I have failed. But I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to our human friends – or any human – ever again.&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Optimus… they’re children. They do not belong in your world. They should be worrying about grades, prom dates, pimples – not their own survival!&lt;br&gt;
:-A spark-to-heart in which '''Optimus''' and '''June''' don't quite see eye to optic.


'''Miko''': Do you really expect me to get into a non-transforming vehicle?&lt;br&gt;
'''June''': Miko, I’m serious.&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': You’re not my mother.&lt;br&gt;
'''Bulkhead''': Miko…&lt;br&gt;
'''Miko''': Neither are you!&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Miko''' asserts her independence - again.


&quot;...I awaken...&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Unicron''', bringing all the sinister foreboding you'll ever need.


&quot;Before the beginning... there was Primus. And, there was Unicron. One, the incarnation of creation – the other... of destruction. For eons; Primus and Unicron battled, the balance of power shifting between them more times than could be counted. Only by creating the Thirteen – the original Primes who preceded me – was Primus finally able to defeat Unicron, and cast him out. Primus became one with the very core of our planet, creating life through the Well of All Sparks, while Unicron was never to be heard from again... until now.&quot;&lt;br&gt;
:-'''Optimus Prime''' tells the tale.


'''Megatron''': I feel your presence, share your very spark! I call upon you as my lord and master, oh mighty Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': ''[Rising]'' WHO DARES?&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Your servant most humble. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and the wielder of the Dark Energon which binds us. To awaken you once again. The prophecy has been fulfilled. It is only the beginning of what we shall accomplish together. For you shall rule this planet, and those who walk upon it through me.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': PRIDEFUL FOOL. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOURSELF CAPABLE OF SUMMONING MY LIFE-FORCE. I RISE BECAUSE I HAVE DEEMED IT MY TIME.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Master, I did not mean to overstep...&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': SILENCE, WORM. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR LOWLY ASSISSTANCE.&lt;br&gt;
'''Megatron''': Please, my lord, I exist only to serve you.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': WHAT IS THIS I SENSE? THE TAINT OF PRIMUS? HERE?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': That is Optimus, the last of the Primes; our sworn enemy.&lt;br&gt; 
'''Unicron''': YOU PROFESS LOYALTY TO ME, YET ALLOW A DISCIPLE OF PRIMUS TO LIVE?!?!&lt;br&gt; 
'''Megatron''': I will destroy him for you! His screams shall be heard--&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': I GROW WEARY OF YOUR PRATTLE. SURELY IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO DESTROY THIS PRIME, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. ''I'' WILL DEAL WITH HIM MYSELF.&lt;br&gt; 
:-Confronting '''Unicron''' himself, '''Megatron''' starts to feel a little like Starscream.


'''Optimus''': I humbly request your ear, Lord Unicron.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': And what would a Prime be so compelled to say to me?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': I make this appeal not for myself, but for this planet which you constitute – and the beings that inhabit it. Humankind relies upon you; for life, sustenance. Your resurrection will only result in the destruction of a species which evolved from the seeds of your very greatness.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': So this humankind of whom you speak… you consider them my progeny?&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': Indeed.&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron''': Parasites! They, too, shall know my wrathful hand – once I am finished with you!&lt;br&gt;
:-Nice try, '''Optimus''', but '''Unicron''' has never been much of a people person.


'''Unicron''': The line of Primes has grown weak in my absence. And thus, you shall fall!&lt;br&gt;
'''Optimus''': That outcome is inevitable… but not on this day!&lt;br&gt;
(Optimus shoots the golem until it breaks. Several more then form from the surrounding rock.)&lt;br&gt;
'''Unicron golems''': Yes, disciple of Primus… on this very day. For Unicron may be one… but we all are Unicron!&lt;br&gt;

===One Shall Rise part 2===
&quot;Optimus! Have you uncovered any further sign of Unicron's emergence?&quot;
&quot;Unicron is power incarnate, and you, the last of the Primes, shall perish!&quot;
&quot;I take that as a yes.&quot; 

—Ratchet finds out that Unicron has awakened 


&quot;It is rather ironic, considering our last encounter. If memory serves, you were desperately attempting to extinguish my spark.&quot;
&quot;That option remains very much in play.&quot;
&quot;I would expect nothing less!&quot; 

—Megatron and Optimus talk about the good times. 


''(GroundBridge opens up next to Bulkhead, Arcee, and Bumblebee)''
&quot;Wait. We're opening up a direct path into our base with Megatron standing right there?!&quot;
&quot;And seriously, he's gonna risk his own spark to save us?&quot;
&quot;''(Laughter)'' Hardly my nature!&quot; 

—Arcee and Bulkhead doubt Megatron's motives, which he finds amusing. 


&quot;It appears our leader has abandoned us while this world erupts in chaos. I believe we must consider the possibility of a future without Megatron.&quot; 

—Airachnid fills the quota for scheming in Starscream's absence. 


&quot;So this is where the magic happens. Quaint.&quot; 

—Megatron enters the Autobot base.

===One Shall Rise part 3===
Raf: Megatron was an Autobot?
Miko:Optimus was a 'Con!?
Rachet: No, on either count. 

– The kids get confused while Ratchet gets ready to tell a tale. 


&quot;Watch out for the quiet ones…&quot; 

—Knock Out after witnessing Soundwave &quot;veto&quot; Airachnid's motion to leave Earth. 


'''Unicron''': Megatron! Destroy the Prime! I command you!
'''Megatron''': Megatron is commanded by NO ONE! Aaaaaargh!! 

– He's not wrong this time. 


Optimus: Where are we Megatronus?
Megatron: ...Don't you remember, old friend? 

– …uh, that was unexpected.

==Season 2==

===Orion Pax part 1===
:'''Megatron''': —and the first to address him as Optimus Prime will have their voice box torn out.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''': Welcome back to the winning team.

===Orion Pax part 2===
&quot;You do not suggest that our leader... would speak falsehoods?&quot;
&quot;Hahahahahaha! You...You truly are being kept in the dark, aren't you?&quot;

—Starscream, upon learning of &quot;Orion's&quot; deception. 


&quot;The Decepticon Space Bridge is located right here, deep within an energon mine.&quot;
&quot;Adjacent to a raw fuel supply, clever. What's our intel?&quot;
&quot;A... reliable source&quot;

—Ratchet talks to Arcee about their tip, without realizing he's calling a Decepticon reliable. 


&quot;Command, this is Space Bridge Control! We are under attack! Command, do you read me?&quot;
''(commlink static)''
''(Bulkhead smashes the Vehicon's face)''
&quot;Shhhh.&quot;

—A Vehicon is reminded of the no talking rule by Ratchet. 


&quot;Thank you, Starscream.&quot;
''(Bulkhead looks at Arcee)''
&quot;Who else would it have been?&quot;

—Arcee's too clever by half. 


&quot;Don't worry, Space Bridging is just like Ground Bridging.&quot;
''(Space Bridge fires up with a loud noise)''
&quot;(Shouting) JUST A LITTLE MORE INTENSE!&quot;

—Arcee tries to ease Jack's nerves about going on the big boy rides. 


&quot;Somebody say something, pronto!&quot;
&quot;Rafael, patch in Agent Fowler.&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets exactly what he wants, just not what he expected. 

===Orion Pax part 3===


&quot;Why did it have to be Scraplets?&quot;

—Bulkhead channels Harrison Ford. 


&quot;Why does history portray me siding with the Autobot aggressors? And why did Starscream call me a Prime? I must know...who am I?&quot;
&quot;You are my clerk.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; questions his identity, while Megatron responds with a firm establishment of the pecking order. 


&quot;You will finish Project Iacon by the time I return...or I will carve out your spark before your very EYES.&quot;

—Megatron threatens &quot;Orion Pax&quot;. 


&quot;Hey guys—the main course!&quot;

—Jack directs the Scraplets to their other menu choices. 


&quot;That may be true, or yet another deception, but this much I do know: my sympathies lie with the Autobots, and you are not one of us!&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; to Megatron, realizing the truth. 


&quot;Are you...certain I am worthy?&quot;
&quot;You have no idea.&quot;

—&quot;Orion Pax&quot; and Jack. 


&quot;Megatron—be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime, before delivering the most awesome series of punches in the entire series. 


&quot;This time, he's coming with us!&quot;

—Bulkhead, keeping his crown with one-liners. 


&quot;Optimus, it has truly been our darkest hour, but know this: from every indication your spark never ceased being that of an Autobot.&quot;

—Ratchet, assuring Optimus of his virtue.

===Operation Bumblebee part 1===
&quot;The new Urbana 500. It won't just rock your world. It will transform it.&quot;

—The commercial narrator hates Bumblebee. 


&quot;You want to ride with the siren on?&quot;
&quot;No, thank you.&quot;

—Ratchet attempts to cheer up Raf. 


&quot;Still don't know how you talked me into this. You're worse than Miko.&quot;

—Bulkhead on Bumblebee's persuasiveness. 


&quot;Bumblebee, where's your famous engine power? Show me some speed!&quot;

—Knock Out, unintentionally striking a nerve.

===Operation Bumblebee Part 2===
&quot;You and I both know there exists a way to make him whole again.&quot;
&quot;A transplant. But that would require a donor.&quot;
&quot;You need look no further than the Autobot standing before you.&quot;

—Ratchet tells Optimus Prime that he is willing to make a sacrifice. 


&quot;...I think I leaked a little transmission fluid.&quot;

—Knock Out sums up how intimidating his master truly is. 


&quot;Do you ever not speak?&quot;

—Silas says what we're all thinking to Starscream. 


&quot;Mine's bigger!&quot;

—Bulkhead compares hammers with Breakdown. 


&quot;Time to jet! Because I can!&quot;

—Starscream, who really should learn to keep his mouth shut. 


&quot;I am able! Just ask Bantor! He was all mandrill untill I put a tiger in his tank!&quot;

—Delerious Ratchet, spouting random Beast Wars references.

===Loose Cannons===
&quot;Not this again!&quot;

—Agent Fowler gets his vehicle scanned by a 'Con for a third time. 


Wheeljack: You know Wreckers don't call for backup.
Wheeljack and Bulkhead: They call for clean-up!

—The remaining Wreckers provide an alternative to &quot;Wreck and Rule!&quot; 


&quot;I will be quite surprised if we ever set eyes upon Dreadwing again.&quot;

—Megatron putting his faith into his soldier. 


&quot;Sorry, Jackie. It's 'cause I love ya.&quot;

—Bulkhead shows the tough love. 


&quot;Sorry, fishies!&quot;

—Bulkhead runs towards water with a bomb attached.


&quot;So, who do we call for clean-up?&quot;

-Wheeljack being...Wheeljack

===Crossfire===
&quot;I know we've never seen ''eyes-to-eye,'' but that doesn't mean we can't ''patch'' things up.&quot;

—Airachnid baits Breakdown with extra-strength puns. 


&quot;You dare turn your back on a superior life-form? I am Commander Starscream!&quot;

—Starscream using his former position to get others to do what he wants...again. 


&quot;You and your beast would do well to remember—I honed my skills in the pits of Kaon!&quot;

—Megatron reminds all that he is not so easily beaten. 


&quot;Never trust a 'Con. Kick Buckethead's bucket!&quot;

—Bulkhead is dubious of Dreadwing's trustworthiness.


&quot;You disobeyed my orders in following me here. You will make a fine first lieutenant.&quot;

—Megatron might have finally made a good choice for second-in-command.

===Nemesis Prime===

&quot;Yes, that's it. Follow the light.&quot;
&quot;Wait, what? Not the best choice of words, Ratchet.&quot;

—Ratchet and Arcee 


&quot;I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and I bring you this message.&quot;

—Nemesis Prime steals one of Optimus's catchphrases. 


&quot;Be on your guard. My double could be anywhere.&quot;
''(Bumblebee beeps a reply)''
&quot;I'm sorry. What?&quot;

—Nemesis Prime tries and fails to fool Bumblebee. 


&quot;...But the key difference between you and me? ...''my'' body can't feel ''PAIN!''&quot;

—Silas at the controls of Nemesis Prime, right after shoving his blade through Optimus' torso.


&quot;The internal damage to his organs is massive, and beyond the scope of conventional medicine. Fortunately for our leader, MECH is anything but conventional.&quot;

—MECH Surgeon on Silas's future.

===Grill===
&quot;Soldier, too close.&quot;

—Agent Fowler doesn't like close ups of his face 


&quot;Of course, Big Foot and I don't always see eye-to-eye.&quot;

—Agent Fowler summing up his relationship with Bulkhead 


&quot;Arcee may be a bot of few words, but Bumblebee doesn't use any, that we can understand.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describes Arcee's and Bumblebee's communicative (or lack of) skills. 


&quot;General Bryce, Prime is no loose cannon. He's anything but.&quot;

—Agent Fowler describing Prime's mental state - the opposite of Wheeljack's. 


&quot;Defies all logic, Bill. Dark energon? Then you go on record saying that you believe in magical horses with horns on their heads.&quot;
&quot;What?&quot;
&quot;Do you deny previously reporting that Megatron helped defeated a unicorn?&quot;
&quot;Oh? That's what you...? Uni''cron''! The ultimate evil! Permission to strike this from the record.&quot;

—General Bryce makes the second unicron/unicorn joke in 25 years, and Agent Fowler avoids a psychological evaluation. 


Fowler: General Bryce here just needs to confirm the state of your health and welfare.&quot;
Optimus: I am fine, General Bryce. How are you?&quot;
Bryce: I am well, uh, soldier.

—Agent Fowler calls on Optimus Prime, who makes awkward smalltalk with General Bryce.

===Armada===
&quot;This is for Cliffjumper! For Bumblebee! For everything.&quot;

—Bulkhead delivers some much-deserved payback to Starscream. Well, actually his clone, but what's the difference? 


&quot;You left me no choice.&quot;

—Bulkhead pulling an Optimus. At least he didn't rip Starscream's face off.


&quot;My genetic code provides my clones with a T-Cog I no longer possess, and all I get is their agony?!&quot;

—Starscream laments over the side-effects of cloning. 


&quot;Exterminating you was so gratifying the first three times.&quot;

—Megatron approaching the last of Starscream's clones. 


&quot;When you extinguish my spark, make it hurt. You know I would extend that courtesy to you.&quot;

—Airachnid, creepy to the last. 


Bulkhead (rushing inside the Autobot's base): Guys, you are not gonna believe the day I had!
''[Bulkhead spots Airachnid in stasis, then looks at Ratchet and Arcee]''
Bulkhead: Oh, you too, huh?

—It's been a busy day for everyone. 


&quot;I feel your pain. Really I do. ''[Fires missle at his clone]'' AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHH! ''Scrap'', that hurt!&quot;

—Starscream killing the last clone.

===Flying Mind===
&quot;My own vessel dares to address me in threatening tones?!&quot;

-Megatron reacts to the Nemesis' newfound attitude.


&quot;Doc Knock is knocked out!&quot;

—Miko makes the joke we've all been waiting to hear. 


&quot;Say Ahhh!&quot; 
&quot;I'm here to offer a second opinion!&quot;
''[Ratchet punches Knock Out]''

—Knock Out's dentistry leaves something to be desired, while Ratchet gives Knock Out the hint that he might want to consider going back to medical school.

===Tunnel Vision===
*&quot;Face.&quot;

—Jack, throughout the episode. 


*&quot;Well, I've actually been in subway stations. I grew in a major metropolis. Unlike Mr. 'I've never been outside of Jasper, Nevada'.&quot;
*&quot;I have been to Cybertron.&quot;
*&quot;Cybertron doesn't have subways! ... Does it?&quot;

—Miko's argument against Jack soon falls short. 


*Knock Out: &quot;You have lovely features. Perfect for a painful little procedure I like call the nip and tuck.&quot;
*Arcee dodges, and kicks Knock Out
*Arcee: &quot;Dodge and kick.&quot;
*Arcee runs for the relic, but gets plugged in the back by Knock Out's prod
*Knock Out: &quot;Shock and drop.&quot;

—Knock Out and Arcee carry on witty repartee. 


*&quot;You scratch my face, I scratch yours!&quot;
*Arcee and Bumblebee cock their blasters*

—Knock Out tries and fails to reference a previous episode. 


*Vogel watches the Autobots and kids leave*
&quot;Robots who turn into vehicles.&quot;
*Vogel turns to look at his sweeper train*

—We've all done it before, Vogel.

===Triangulation===
&quot;Faster, you pathetic excuse for transportation!&quot;

—That's not gonna work, Starscream. 


&quot;What a team we make! I am so glad that you prevailed, Optimus Prime! That wretch Dreadwing was going to terminate me! Now, if you could just remove my bonds, I can lead you straight to the relic.&quot;
''Optimus cocks his blaster''
&quot;You will lead me there regardless.&quot;
&quot;Hmph! You're welcome!&quot;

—An excited Starscream and a totally thankful Optimus Prime. 


&quot;Are we ''really'' going to stand out here in the freezing cold, completely at the mercy of ''human bureaucracy?''&quot;

—Starscream is incredulous at the thought.


&quot;I haven't had this much fun since I punched that hole in Cliffjumper!&quot;

—Starscream really doesn't know when to shut up about that. 


&quot;I will beat the living spark out of you, just so I will never again have to hear you pontificating!&quot;

—Starscream says what he thinks of Optimus Prime's speech pattern. 


''[Evil laugh]'' &quot;That tickled! *Evil laugh* Fools! Not only am I intelligent, I am INVINCIBLE!&quot;
&quot;Yet you cannot fly!&quot;
&quot;Nobody's perfect!&quot;

—Starscream and Optimus Prime, the former enjoying the suit a little too much. 


&quot;Cowards! You will not escape my might! ''[beat]'' Wait... ''[beat]'' You two are up to something!&quot;

—Starscream being genre savvy.

===Triage===
“I'll be sure to be on my best behavior, Doc.&quot;
&quot;Please don't call me 'Doc'.&quot;
&quot;Whatever you say, Sunshine.&quot;

—Wheeljack pulls out a rather unfitting nickname for Ratchet.


&quot;Wait a minute, a grenade inside of Laserbeak, inside of Soundwave? Like a turducken!&quot;
&quot;I'm sorry?&quot;
&quot;It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a... never mind.&quot;

—Raf fails to enlighten Ratchet.


&quot;Any last words?&quot;
&quot;...&quot;
&quot;Right... silent type.&quot;

—Wheeljack remembers only too late that Soundwave ISN'T going to say anything.


(Weakly)&quot;...Doc?&quot;
&quot;Wheeljack, I TOLD you not to call me that!&quot;
&quot;...I'm sorry...&quot;
&quot;...What's wrong? Where are you?&quot;
&quot;...You have...two minutes...&quot;

—Ratchet knows something's wrong when an injured Wheeljack apologizes over the comlink.

===Toxicity===
&quot;I can has cheeseburger!&quot;

— Yes, Agent Fowler actually said that. 


&quot;Leave it to Megatron to send a bug to do his dirty work.&quot;
&quot;You would know a thing or two about dirty work yourself, Wrecker.&quot;

— Bulkhead receives a &quot;right-back-at-you&quot; from Hardshell. 


&quot;Now, you see, the thing about bugs your size: They make a bigger mess when I SMASH 'EM!&quot;

— Bulkhead being true to his wrecking nature.


&quot;Come on soldier, dump that rock and come on home!&quot;

—Fowler coaxes Bulkhead through his grueling mission.

===Hurt===
(Buffing his paintjob) &quot;Detailing was so much easier when Breakdown was around!&quot;

—Knock Out gives fangirls an inch. 


&quot;Wheeljack. The one who enjoys...explosive devices.&quot;

—Megatron, describing more Wheeljacks than one. 


&quot;Talk during battle is a sign of weakness.&quot;
&quot;Only when you're too primitive to do two things at once.&quot;

—Hardshell and Wheeljack exchange smack talk. 


&quot;I thought I told you to hit autopilot.&quot;
&quot;Bad things happen to bots when I leave their side.&quot;

—Wheeljack shows concern for Miko, who is not entirely wrong. 


&quot;The Autobot did THIS?!&quot;
&quot;No, my lord... it was... a human... girl.&quot;

— Megatron quickly learns that some humans make good on the promises they make.

===Out of the Past===
&quot;So this is Kaon, huh? Love what you Decepticons have done with the place. The ruins are especially picturesque.&quot;

—Cliffjumper.


&quot;Your reasoning is hardly...logical.&quot;

—Shockwave channels Mr. Spock.


&quot;Surrender the encryption code, and I will see to it that you perish quickly.&quot;
''(Arcee mumbles something under her breath)''
&quot;Speak up. I can't hear you when you ''whimper''.&quot;
&quot;...Get. '''Fragged'''.&quot;

—Starscream tries to intimidate Arcee, but all he gets is a scathing Cybertronian expletive. 


&quot;While it often pains me, I do TRY to be a team player.&quot;

—Starscream, telling us what we already know.


&quot;Funny. At first I didn't think I'd ever get used to Cliff's constant chatter. Now...there's nothing louder to me than the silence.&quot;

—Arcee mourns her fallen partner.

===New Recruit===
&quot;The tap-dancing monkey strikes again!&quot;

—Jack on Raf's latest anti-Bumblebee-sighting hack. 


&quot;Puh-lease! Isn't having three humans here enough?!&quot;
''Everyone stares at Ratchet in disbelief''

-Ratchet finally speaks his mind on Jack, Miko and Raf.


&quot;All these Cons came out of one pod?&quot;
&quot;Humans refer to the phenomenon as a 'clown car'!&quot;

—Arcee asks a question, and Ratchet offers an explanation. 


Miko: What's your story, Smoke? Where did you come from? How did you get here? How many blasters are you packing?
Smokescreen: So these are the lifeforms we're supposed to protect? Are they all like this?
Ratchet: Fortunately not.

—Smokescreen meets Miko. 


&quot;The Red Energon is mine, humans, for you are powerless in the face of the mighty Star- What? Where is it?!&quot;

—Starscream's melodramatic entrance is deflated. 


&quot;Any last words, Smokescreen?&quot;
&quot;Just four—kiss your armor goodbye!&quot;

—Starscream gets a last warning from Smokescreen before literally getting his tailpipe kicked. 


&quot;You aren't the only one sporting a fancy wrist-mounted device!&quot;

—Starscream on his fancy rockets.

===The Human Factor===

&quot;Thank you all for your dedication and a lifetime of service. But I now seem more suited to keep the exclusive company...of titans.&quot;

—&quot;Cylas&quot;, just before brutally killing his own men. And this is a ''kids' show?''


&quot;Bulkhead! I ''NEEDED'' THAT!&quot;

—Ratchet still hasn't learned that saying that phrase won't change anything. 


Jack: You've got to be kidding, Raf! You of all people, grounded?
Raf: Big time. I misplaced some homework and blew a couple of tests.
Miko: Translation, A- instead of A.

—Miko thinks Raf is Mr. Perfect when it comes to school, unlike herself. 


&quot;This is the ''human'' who dissected Breakdown!&quot;
''Knock Out activates his circular saw''
&quot;Please, my liege...allow me to return the favor.&quot;

—Knock Out, finally confirming the fans' belief that he does care about his former partner. 


Megatron: Cylas, you have earned your place at the table.
Cylas: Lord Megatron, I am honored.
Megatron: Knock Out's dissection table!
Knock Out: Breakdown would be tickled.

-CYLAS learns the hard way that there is always a bigger fish.

===Legacy===
:'''Megatron''': It cannot be. Power of this magnitude must never be allowed to fall into the hands of Optimus Prime no matter what. ... 
:'''Megatron''':We Decepticons... now face our darkest hour.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Smokescreen''':How ''epic'' was that?

===Alpha; Omega===
&quot;So, did Alpha Trion ask about me?&quot;

—Smokescreen 


&quot;Yeah, I don't think I'd ever wanna leave Miko&quot;
&quot;We've made friends here. Family.&quot;
&quot;We could always... 'text' them.&quot;

—Bulkhead, Arcee, and Ratchet. 


&quot;At last we take our rightful places, Optimus, as gods, wielding the power of the cosmos.&quot;
&quot;I am but a soldier, Megatron, and you are a prisoner of your own twisted delusions.&quot;

—Megatron and Optimus Prime exchange banter during battle.

===Hard Knocks===
&quot;Last one to the Omega Key has to scrub the Energon tanks for a week.&quot;
&quot;Didn't know we were keeping score.&quot;

—Smokescreen and Arcee 


&quot;Who knew that ''sound waves'' could be such a ''knock out?''&quot;

—See what Knock Out did there? 


&quot;How is it possible that ''speed-enhancing'' Energon takes longer to process than ''regular'' Energon?&quot;

—Starscream learns how cruel irony is.


&quot;Make sure you keep an eye on 'destiny's child', okay?&quot;
&quot;Compared to watching Miko? Piece of cake!&quot;

—Arcee giving Bulkhead some advice on handling the rookie. 


&quot;You love doing your dirty work from a distance, don't ya? Too bad you don't have the ball bearings to fight up close and personal!&quot;

—Bulkhead gives Dreadwing some smack talk using an eyebrow-raising anatomic euphemism.

===Inside Job===

:'''Knock Out''': The question is, what are you still packing?
''Knock Out scans Smokescreen to find the Key within him. 
'''Knock Out''': Why, hidden treasure, of course!

:'''Megatron''': Tell me the function of these relics.&quot;

:'''Starscream''': Oh, how prudent it would be to gut you. ''To gut all of you''...but first! Where does Optimus keep his key ring?

:'''Optimus''' (in slow motion)
'''Starscream''': I'm sorry, what was that? (mocks with garbled speech) You Autobots think you're so superior. But you know what you really are? SLOW! 

'''Knock Out''': I beg of you, my liege! Release me from this absurd predicament! (Referring to being trapped in the wall. 
'''Megatron''': No. You shall serve as a reminder to those who dare fail me! 
-Megatron believes a little humbling is in order for Knock Out.

:'''Megatron''': I cannot allow Optimus Prime to be the one to revive Cybertron! We WILL find the Autobot base, invade it, and retrieve the Omega Keys!
''Starscream appears''
'''Starscream''': Been there, done that. Please pardon my unannounced visit, Lord Megatron. But I come bearing peace offering. 
''Starscream bears all four Omega Keys''
-Starscream proves his mettle.

===Patch===
:'''Megatron''':Few things of value come without a price.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Knock-out''':Megatron sure knows how to 'patch' things up, eh, Dreadwi-- ''[turns around to see that Dreadwing has disappeared]'' Dreadwing?

===Regeneration===
&quot;Rise and shine! Your T-Cog transplant was a success! Yes, I am just that good.&quot; 

—Knock Out being modest about his surgery skills for a change. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': Wait, this is about Skyquake, isn't it?! I thought we had put that behind us!
:'''Dreadwing''': So have I!
:'''Starscream''': Casualties are unfortunate consequence of war! But I assure you, your twin met his end with great honor!
:'''Dreadwing''': WHICH YOU DISGRACED BY RAISING HIM FROM THE DEAD!
:'''Starscream''': Oh, you know about that... There must be something I can do! Some form of reparation I can offer you to alleviate your anguish!
:'''Dreadwing''': YOUR SPARK WILL SUFFICE!!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
&quot;I said stand down! That is an order.&quot;
&quot;One which I cannot follow.&quot; 

—Megatron gives his last order to Dreadwing, who gives his last words.


&quot;I'm okay?... I'M OKAY! ''(laughs)'' Lord Megatron, you have my eternal thanks!&quot;
&quot;Do not ''ever'' make me regret which one of you I spared.&quot;

—Starscream and Megatron, right after the latter blows a hole through Dreadwing's chest.


&quot;Oh gee, why didn't I think of that?&quot; 

—Knock Out lamenting on Starscream's intelligence as he bashes an Omega Key against the table. 


&quot;Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.&quot; 

—Optimus Prime makes the obligatory G1 shoutout. 


&quot;I will have those keys or I will have your sparks!&quot;
&quot;I can help with the last part.&quot; 

—Smokescreen verbally beats Megatron one more time. 


&quot;What crawled up his tailpipe and died?&quot; 

—Miko on Ratchet's curt reply.

===Darkest Hour===
:'''Starscream''': PRIME! He will pay for dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk!
:'''Megatron''': ''[lets out a dark chuckle, which becomes manic laughter]'' They can run, but they can never again run ''home.''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bulkhead''': Optimus... destroyed the Omega Lock.
:'''Ratchet''': ''What?!'' You did--?!
:'''Optimus Prime''': What was necessary. There was no time for another prolonged battle. Not with Earth in imminent danger.
:'''Ratchet''': So you destroyed the ''only'' device in ''any'' universe capable of restoring our home?! Optimus... we needed that.
:'''Smokescreen''': You weren't there, Doc. And it's not your place to second-guess a battlefield decision.
:'''Ratchet''': IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! THERE ''HAD'' TO BE ANOTHER WAY!
:'''Jack''': It wasn't that simple, Ratchet.
:'''Raf''': Megatron was using the Omega Lock to attack the Earth.
:'''Miko''': Optimus saved our planet!
:'''Ratchet''': WHAT ABOUT ''OUR'' PLANET?! All of our struggles, and energon spilled, and countless sacrifices - for ''nothing?!''
:'''Arcee''': Right decision or wrong, what's done is done. But we have another problem here on ''this'' world. The Cons just changed the rules when they put Jack, Miko and Raf into play.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Megatron''': Our opportunity to revive Cybertron has been lost, due to the treachery of Optimus Prime! But from our fortress of New Kaon, we will instead seize control of ''this'' world! DECEPTICONS! TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!
:'''Starscream''': I thought he'd never ask! Attack my armada! Attack! Attack! ATTACK! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Starscream''': This is the place, all right.
:'''Megatron''': This ''was'' the place.
:'''Starscream''': United, we stand. Divided, they fall.

==Season 3: Beast Hunters==

===Darkmount, NV===
&quot;Agent Fowler, I admit that war brings out the worst in me, but the conflict with the Autobots is now over, and our quarrel has never been with your kind. Now that the one true enemy of the Decepticons is no more, my only wish is to coexist on this planet with the human race... peacefully. Together, Agent Fowler, I believe that you and I can make that dream a reality.&quot;

—Megatron on the phone. 


&quot;Earth is our planet now, Starscream, and we shall finish what we started. Humankind has no idea what lies ahead for them.&quot;

—Megatron off the phone. 


&quot;How long does it take to exterminate a lone Autobot and her human pet?!&quot;
&quot;Well, in my experience-&quot;
&quot;''Not'' a riddle, Starscream.&quot;
&quot;Sorry.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream

===Scattered===
&quot;I find your reply to be... logical.&quot;

—Shockwave's response to Starscream's explanation. Or should we say ''Spock''wave?


&quot;Careful, Starscream. You may dislocate a landing gear patting yourself on the back.&quot;

—Knock Out echoes the audience's feelings about Starscream's &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; noise.


&quot;I present to you, my liege: The ultimate Autobot hunter.&quot;

-Shockwave unveils his prized monster

===Prey===
Miko: A dragon?! Where did the 'Cons get a dragon?!
[Bulkhead and Wheeljack look at each other]
Bulkhead and Wheeljack: What's a dragon?
Miko: Giant, flying, fire-breathing lizard!

— Mythology 101 with the Wreckers. 


&quot;Yes! Snuff the Tragic Dragon!&quot;

—Miko making a funny quip. 


&quot;Ultra Magnus? It's an honor!&quot;
&quot;It's an honor, ''sir''.&quot;

—Bulkhead meets Ultra Magnus who insists even praise follow proper etiquette. 


&quot;What is it now, &quot;Lord&quot; Megatron?&quot;

—Agent Fowler must be getting a LOT of calls from Megatron. 


&quot;Autobots, take your pick.&quot;
&quot;Now you're speaking my language...''sir.''&quot;

—Ultra Magnus learns that the way to Wheeljack's respect is through his trigger finger.

===Rebellion===
&quot;Looks like we'll have to sneak past enemy lines, Wrecker style.&quot;
&quot;I couldn't deal with 'Wrecker style' back on Cybertron, and I refuse to deal with it here.&quot;

—Wheeljack wants to go Wrecker style, but Ultra Magnus CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT RIGHT NOW. 

&quot;Starscream! Explain why my forces are scattering across this globe.&quot;
&quot;Renegade Autobot mischief, Lord Megatron. I am in the process of deducing how they are infiltrating our communications system without a base of-&quot;
(Soundwave gets their attention and shows where.)
&quot;The Harvenger.&quot;
&quot;You left abandoned Decepticon technology fully operational and UNSECURED?!&quot;

-Megatron being angry at Starscream's incompetence once again.

&quot;This isn't how the story's supposed to end.&quot;

—Smokescreen giving his two cents to the tried and true leadership inheritance patterns. 


&quot;I know that color scheme.&quot;

—Starscream noticing Optimus's new look, as he's coming to Darkmount. YOU KNOW THAT AUTOBOT!!!!


Optimus Prime: Commander?
Ultra Magnus: Sir, you are looking... robust.

—The Autobot higher-ups have a little...chat. 


&quot;Megatron, be gone!&quot;

—Optimus Prime gives Megatron a reminder of a past beating. 


&quot;Soundwave, I require a Ground Bridge.&quot;

—Good timing, Shockwave. 


&quot;Awww, I missed it!&quot;

—Bad timing, Smokescreen. 


Ratchet: Is it true the Forge has been drained of its power? Then any hope of rebuilding the Omega Lock has truly been lost.
Smokescreen: I... did what I felt was right.
Ratchet: And your instincts once have again proven to be quite sound.

—Ratchet and Smokescreen on the Forge Solus Prime

===Project Predacon===
&quot;What were you thinking, soldier?&quot;
&quot;I was thinking Bulkhead could catch that lob.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack air their grievances like mature adults who hate each other. 


&quot;I was nearly a Prime, but somehow I'm still a rookie.&quot;

—Smokescreen bemoans the show's return to status quo. 


Raf: They're like Earth's dinosaurs.
Jack: Which means for you guys, running into one would be like us meeting a T-Rex.
Miko: So, then what were Dinobots?
Bulkhead: Totally different.

—Predacon discussion leads to a wink and a nod. 


&quot;Autobots, we must become Beast Hunters.&quot;

—Optimus Prime sees the writing on the package--Er, wall. 


&quot;Pfft. Another scavenger hunt?&quot;

—Starscream says the audience's line for us. 


&quot;How logical would it really be to locate all the dusty remains of your former pets?&quot;
&quot;You are not suggesting that I would send my creations to a distant planet without first having them microchipped?&quot;
&quot;Well, I-- Well, I was. But...seriously? You did?&quot;

—...only to be shut down by Shockwave. 


&quot;Um... what's a kilt?&quot;
&quot;Agent Fowler can at times be oblique. I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime on Earth culture, proving again that the best comedy comes from having no sense of humor. 

===Chain of Command===

&quot;Wrecker Fact #17?&quot;
&quot;'Guards never look up'.&quot;

—A trope-savvy Wheeljack and Bulkhead


Ultra Magnus: And what could have possibly compelled you to bring the native?
[Wheeljack thinks back to just before they left the Autobot base]
Miko: Yo. Can I come with?
Wheeljack: Why not?
&quot;Are your circuits impaired, soldier?&quot;
&quot;Prime told you to lead the Wreckers on this one. I assumed he meant all of them.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack argue over Miko's Wrecker status.


&quot;Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Even the strongest armor can't protect the weakest of creatures.&quot;
&quot;It protected you, didn't it?&quot;

—Starscream's gonna need some ice after that burn.


&quot;You do know that I vanquished Cliffjumper, don't you?&quot;
&quot;Big whoop. I snuffed Hardshell.&quot;

—Starscream finally gets his &quot;I killed Cliffjumper&quot; boast shut down by Miko.

===Plus One===
&quot;I wondered what was taking so long with those sodas.&quot;

—Raf has gotten used to Miko's disappearances. 


&quot;I didn't choose 'emergency' as my vehicle mode for laughs.&quot;

—Ratchet, the Autobots' secret weapon. 


Wheeljack: Know what I love most about Vehicon troopers?
Arcee: They're easily distracted.

—Wrecker Fact #[Insert Number Here] on henchbots. 


Megatron: Knock Out, do not return empty-handed.
Knock Out: Moi? Don't know the meaning of the word.
Starscream: Isn't 'empty-handed' two words?
Knock Out: You would know. Or did your missing armor turn up?

—Knock Out and Starscream try to impress the boss with a game of &quot;so there&quot;s. 


&quot;Knock Out to Lord Megatron. I have secured one vintage Predacon talon. Plus, two of the Autobots' pets, for you to employ as hostages, lab experiments...well, any way you see fit. So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than Starscream.&quot;
[Comm static]
&quot;My liege? Hello?&quot;
[More static]
&quot;Too familiar?&quot;

—Knock Out gets the wrong idea from the communications blackout. 


&quot;Bromance trumps romance.&quot;

— Jack has it figured out. 

===Thirst===
&quot;My, my, my. Whatever have you been inflicting upon poor Cylas?&quot;
&quot;Ha! Well, anything that merits the need for a living petri dish.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out laugh over Cylas' misfortune. 


Megatron: [Talking to Shockwave over comm] Tell me of the Predacon protoforms. What is the status of their incubation? Mm-hm. Uh-huh.
Starscream: Master, if I do say so myself, I have made the most intriguing discovery. It appears that--
Megatron: Not now! [Back to Shockwave] Please continue, Shockwave. No, no one important.

—Megatron doesn't like to be interrupted when he's on the phone. 


&quot;Do you think he's actually trying to--?&quot;
&quot;Suck out our energon with that thing? Sure seems that way.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out discuss Cylas' fancy new tongue. 


Starscream: Megatron will undoubtedly hold us responsible.
Knock Out: But...WE ARE!
Starscream: Well, you are, mostly.

—Starscream blames someone else, news at 11. 


&quot;Aim for the head!&quot;
&quot;What? How do you know?&quot;
&quot;I've seen human horror films.&quot; [Starscream looks at him curiously] &quot;At drive-in theaters!&quot;
[Starscream shoots its head off, but it keeps moving]
&quot;Forget the head! Go for the spark!&quot; [Kills it by shooting it in the chest]
&quot;We severed its link to the Dark Energon. Human horror films, waste of time!&quot;

—Knock Out schools Starscream on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. 


&quot;You know the worst part? After battling Autobots all these years, getting smacked down, shot at, blown up, this is how our lights go out?&quot;

-Knock Out getting retrospective on us. This sounds familiar... 


&quot;If this is indeed the end, if we are to become Terrorcon-chow, it has been an honor serving Lord Megatron with you.&quot;
&quot;You're no Breakdown. Though I must confess, I have always admired your lustrous finish.&quot;
[Awkward pause]
&quot;Well, then.&quot;
&quot;Should be going.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out begin a beautiful friendship… 


[To Knock Out] &quot;Allow me to handle this.&quot; [To Megatron] &quot;It's Knock Out's fault!&quot;
&quot;Precisely, my-- WHAT?!?&quot;

—…which ends moments later when Starscream jumps at the first opportunity to throw Knock Out under the bus. 


&quot;Let me just say, you have been awarded more chances for redemption than anyone in Decepticon history!&quot;

—Next contestant, Megatron from Kaon. Special subject, the obvious. 


&quot;Silas? Whatever have they done to you? But more importantly, thank you for freeing me.&quot;
&quot;No. Thank…you… [Dies]
&quot;Whatever.&quot;

—Airachnid is unmoved by Cylas' final words. 


&quot;Soundwave! I vow that on this day, the world will hear the sound of your screams.&quot;
''Soundwave proceeds to send her and her hive to a barren Cybertronian moon''

—Airachnid's mouth writes a check that her abdomen can't cash.

===Evolution===
&quot;Strike me again, and I will bury that rod in your spark.&quot;

—Predaking speaks his first words. 


&quot;Your vision... is boundless.&quot;

—Megatron considers whether his former pet might become a future rival. 


&quot;The moment our 'Royal Highness' realizes that his army possesses greater might than what currently remains of the Decepticons...&quot;
&quot;Evolution will give way to revolution.&quot;

—Megatron mocks Predaking's name and Starscream knows a potential coup when he sees one. 


&quot;Blow these beasts back to the Rust Age.&quot;

—Ultra Magnus adds an entire new article to the Wiki. 


&quot;Optimus. When we spoke earlier...what could be greater than an army?&quot;
&quot;A human concept, one I have learned since coming to Earth: family.&quot;

—Optimus Prime imparts wisdom; Ultra Magnus is no longer able to applaud. 

===Minus One===
&quot;Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another? Master?!&quot;
&quot;I'm thinking.&quot;

—Starscream discovers that Megatron has been reading The Hands-Off Manager. 


&quot;I am tempted to force you to share my perception of things.&quot;

—Shockwave really hates or really loves having one eye, as he tells Starscream. 


&quot;Exemplary teamwork.&quot;

—Megatron, after Starscream convinces Shockwave not to share his perspective. 

Shockwave: &quot;My liege, forgive my impotence, but what is the logic behind ruling ''two'' worlds?&quot;
Megatron: &quot;It has taken me quite some time to fully comprehend that Earth and Cybertron have always been linked. Two halves of one whole; Primus and Unicron. And that to rule only one, would be to never truly rule either.&quot;

—Megatron on the significance of Earth. 


&quot;Whoa. Optimus Prime, the remix.&quot;

—Miko comments on Soundwave's DJ skills. 


&quot;Soundwave superior, Autobots inferior.&quot;

—Soundwave paraphrases a little-known line from an obscure movie. 


&quot;Can't we throw a tarp over him? He's creeping me out.&quot;
&quot;Yeah, it's like he's watching. No matter where you go.&quot;

—Bulkhead and Smokescreen are intimidated even by a deactivated Soundwave. 

===Persuasion===
&quot;This is no place for a one-handed Autobot.&quot;
&quot;I'll take one bum hand over one good eye any day.&quot;

—Shockwave and Ultra Magnus trade politically incorrect barbs. 


&quot;Humans. Always the weak link.&quot;

—Starscream showing that he still doesn't quite get it. 


&quot;Ratchet didn't think this new hand he built for me was good enough. But I'll tell you what truly isn't good enough: giving up.&quot;

—Keep practicing those speeches, Ultra Magnus, profundity will come someday. 


Ratchet: Megatron, you would just try to conquer Cybertron all over again, and enslave anyone who refuses to pledge allegiance to you.
Megatron: Of course I would!

—Decepticon or not, Megatron has little use for guile. 


Ratchet: What assurance do I have that you would leave humankind be, and that you wouldn't instantly terminate me once you get what you need?
Megatron: None whatsoever. After all, we both know that as a Decepticon, any assurances I might offer would be worthless.

—Seriously, Megatron is crazy honest about lying. 


&quot;Miko, I needed that!&quot;

—Raf hangs around Ratchet entirely too much. 


Megatron: It will not take long for this Omega Lock's drives to be fully operational. All that is still needed to restore our home is the cybermatter to launch through it.
Ratchet: Which requires a stabilized formula for the production of synthetic energon.
Megatron: I have every confidence in you, doctor.
Ratchet: I'll do it. But then you already knew that, didn't you?

—Ratchet makes a deal with the aptly named Megatron, after which one can only hope that he has Daniel Webster on speed dial. 

===Synthesis===
&quot;Starscream, you did destroy the Autobot base, did you not?&quot;
&quot;With great fervor, my lord. Why do you ask?&quot;
&quot;Because Laserbeak's frequency has been detected on radar.&quot;
&quot;But that's not possible. He's right here in Soundwave's torso.&quot;

—Megatron and Starscream with a sentence you can only get from Transformers. 


[Over comm] &quot;Lord Megatron. There's been a situation... more like an accident, really—&quot;
&quot;Spit. It. OUT!&quot;
&quot;THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED!&quot;

—Knock Out knows Megatron likes to shoot the messenger, but Megatron is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. 


&quot;At last. Good riddance to a wretched species.&quot;
&quot;Although I will say they manufacture some fine-looking automobiles.&quot;

—Starscream and Knock Out debate the merits of Earth. 


&quot;Why would my liege wish to destroy us?&quot;
&quot;Having just been on the receiving end of your might, one theory springs to mind. Megatron ''fears'' you. And any like you.&quot;

—Predaking is confused by Ratchet's news of Megatron's betrayal. Maybe it was calling yourself a king that did it. 


&quot;Is it true that ''you'' ordered the annihilation of my army?!&quot;
&quot;Indeed. And my only mistake was not seeing the extermination through.&quot;

—Predaking learns that Megatron doesn't fear him quite so much as Ratchet thought.

===Deadlock===
&quot;Pack light. Pack light! [Finds his rotary buffer] Oh! Pack smart!&quot; 

—Knock Out, not needing to be told that cowards survive. 


&quot;You took my voice. You will never rob anyone of anything ever again.&quot; 

—Bumblebee, getting payback at last.
 

&quot;I will avenge you, Master!&quot;
[Shockwave grabs him]
&quot;Starscream, do not be a fool!&quot;
[They flee as Starscream resists]
&quot;Curse you and your logic!&quot; 

—Starscream and Shockwave debate the merits of revenge. 


&quot;Bumblebee...&quot;
&quot;Your voice...&quot;
&quot;My voice? What're you g-...My voice!&quot;
[grabs Ratchet in a great big hug]
&quot;Ratchet! I have my pipes back!&quot;
&quot;Errhmm, y-yes! Yes we noticed!&quot; 

—Ratchet, Arcee, and Bumblebee in a crazy-happy moment. Admit it, you smiled too. 


&quot;Rrrgh, your elbow articulator is digging into my lateral flexer!&quot;
&quot;Do you intend to whine for the duration of the voyage?&quot;
 
—Starscream and Shockwave get used to each other's company. This is going to be a long trip. 


&quot;Ah, such luster.&quot;
[Autobots stare in disbelief]
&quot;What? I'm joining the winning team.&quot; 

—Knock Out proves once again just how self-important he really is, right before Miko shuts him up. 


&quot;Raf...&quot;
&quot;I know Bee. You don't have to say anything.&quot;
&quot;I never did.&quot; 

—Raf and Bumblebee share their last exchange...for now. 


&quot;Until we meet again, old friend...&quot; 

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet also share their last exchange, and in a way, to us.

==Film==
{{Main|Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Transformers animated TV shows|Prime]]
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[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by Kalki</comment>
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      <text bytes="582406" xml:space="preserve">&lt;small&gt;&quot;America&quot;, &quot;US&quot;, &quot;USA&quot;, and &quot;United States of America&quot; redirect here. For the landmass comprising North, Central, South America, and the Caribbean, see [[Americas]]. For other uses, see [[America (disambiguation)]].&lt;/small&gt; 
{{NPOV}}
[[File:Great Seal of the United States (obverse).svg|thumb|&lt;center&gt;''{{w|E Pluribus Unum}}''&lt;/center&gt;]]
[[File:USA123.jpg|thumb|The barriers of time and space vanish. All [[America]] that ever was and ever will be [[lives]] every [[moment]]. ~ [[Richard McKenna]]]]
The '''[[w:United States|United States of America]]''' ('''U.S.'''), commonly referred to as the '''United States''' or '''America''', is a transcontinental [[Countries|country]] located primarily on the continent of [[w:North America|North America]], with [[w:Territories of the United States|territories]] located on islands in the [[w:Caribbean Sea|Caribbean Sea]] and [[w:Pacific Ocean|Pacific Ocean]].&amp;nbsp;The [[United States Constitution|Constitution of the United States]] is the supreme law of the country.&amp;nbsp;[[New York City|New York]] is the most populous city in the country, whereas [[California]] is the most populous constituent state. The country's capital is [[Washington, D.C.]], which is located within the District of Columbia between the states of [[Maryland]] and [[Virginia]]. The United States is one of the founders of the [[United Nations]] organization, of which it is a permanent member. The United States is the third largest country in the world by both population and land area.
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{{TOCalpha|''[[#Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations]]''}}
==A==
[[File:Flag of the 22nd Regiment, United States Colored Troops.png|thumb|Every measure of prudence, therefore, ought to be assumed for the eventual total extirpation of slavery from the United States. ~ [[John Adams]]]]
[[File:US Navy 060421-N-3855M-001 Aviation Machinist Mate 3rd Class Mony R. En raises her right hand at the Naturalization Ceremony held at the U. S. District Court Middle Florida.jpg|thumb|I have not one drop of blood in my veins but what is American. ~ [[John Adams]]]]
[[File:Bombardment of Fort Sumter(3b52027r).jpg|thumb|I shudder when I think of the calamities which slavery is likely to produce in this country. ~ [[John Adams]]]]
* The [[w:Tank|tank]], the [[w:B-52|B-52]], the [[w:Fighter-bomber|fighter-bomber]], the state-controlled police and military are the weapons of [[dictatorship]]. The [[Firearm|rifle]] is the weapon of [[democracy]]. Not for nothing was the revolver called an 'equalizer'. ''Egalité'' implies ''libertė''. And always will. Let us hope our weapons are never needed — but do not forget what the common people of this nation knew when they demanded the [[United States Bill of Rights|Bill of Rights]]: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny.
** [[Edward Abbey]], as quoted in ''Abbey's Road'' (1979)

* Without [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]], [[w:United States|the new nation]] might have lost its soul. Without [[Alexander Hamilton|Hamilton]] it would assuredly have been killed in body.
** {{w|James Truslow Adams}}, as quoted in ''Jeffersonian Principles and Hamiltonian Principles'' (1932), p. xvii

* We are in the very midst of a [[American Revolution|Revolution]], the most complete, unexpected, and remarkable of any in the History of Nations.
** [[John Adams]], [http://www.masshist.org/publications/apde2/view?id=ADMS-06-04-02-0109 letter to William Cushing] (June 9, 1776)

* [[Great Britain|Britain]] has been moving earth and hell to obtain allies against [[w:United States|us]], yet it is improper in us to propose an alliance! [[Great Britain]] has borrowed all the superfluous wealth of [[Europe]], in [[Italy]], [[Germany]], [[w:Holland|Holland]], [[Switzerland]], and some in [[France]], to murder us, yet it is dishonorable in us to propose to borrow money! By heaven, I would make a bargain with all Europe, if it lay with me. Let all Europe stand still, neither lend men nor money nor ships to England nor America, and let them fight it out alone. I would give my share of millions for such a bargain. America is treated unfairly and ungenerously by Europe. But thus it is, mankind will be servile to tyrannical masters, and basely devoted to vile idols.
** [[John Adams]], [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2105#lf1431-07_head_273 letter to B. Franklin] (April 16, 1781), Leyden

* Neither my father or mother, grandfather or grandmother, great grandfather or great grandmother, nor any other relation that I know of, or care a farthing for, has been in [[England]] these one hundred and fifty years; so that you see I have not one drop of blood in my veins but what is American.
**[[John Adams]], to a foreign ambassador (1785), as quoted in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=lWcsAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA392 The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United States: Autobiography]'' (1851), by Charles F. Adams, p. 392.

* Every measure of [[prudence]], therefore, ought to be assumed for the eventual total extirpation of [[slavery]] from the [[w:United States|United States]].
** [[John Adams]], [http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/2127#lf1431-10_head_152 letter to Robert J. Evans] (June 8, 1819)

* I shudder when I think of the calamities which slavery is likely to produce in [[w:United States|this country]]. You would think me mad if I were to describe my anticipations.
** [[John Adams]] (1820), as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''John Adams''] (1962), by Page Smith, Garden City, New York: Doubleday, p. 138.

* Slavery in [[w:United States|this country]], I have seen hanging over it like a black cloud for half a century.
** [[John Adams]] (1821), as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143754/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps2.htm ''Passionate Sage''] (1993), Joseph J. Ellis, New York: Norton, p. 138.

* America, in the assembly of nations, since her admission among them, has invariably, though often fruitlessly, held forth to them the hand of honest friendship, of equal freedom, of generous reciprocity. She has uniformly spoken among them, though often to heedless and often to disdainful ears, the language of equal liberty, of equal justice, and of equal rights. She has, in the lapse of nearly half a century, without a single exception, respected the independence of other nations while asserting and maintaining her own. She has abstained from interference in the concerns of others, even when conflict has been for principles to which she clings, as to the last vital drop that visits the heart. She has seen that probably for centuries to come, all the contests of that [[w:Aceldama|Aceldama]] the European world, will be contests of inveterate power, and emerging right. Wherever the standard of freedom and Independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will her heart, her benedictions and her prayers be. But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own. She will commend the general cause by the countenance of her voice, and the benignant sympathy of her example. She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom. The fundamental maxims of her policy would insensibly change from liberty to force. The frontlet on her brows would no longer beam with the ineffable splendor of freedom and independence; but in its stead would soon be substituted an imperial diadem, flashing in false and tarnished lustre the murky radiance of dominion and power. She might become the dictatress of the world; she would be no longer the ruler of her own spirit. . . . Her glory is not dominion, but liberty. Her march is the march of the mind. She has a spear and a shield: but the motto upon her shield is, Freedom, Independence, Peace. This has been her Declaration: this has been, as far as her necessary intercourse with the rest of mankind would permit, her practice.
** [[John Quincy Adams]], address as Secretary of State to the U.S. House of Representatives (July 4, 1821)

* If I have a wish dearer to my soul than that my ashes may be mingled with those of a Warren and a Montgomery, it is that these American States may never cease to be free and independent.
** [[Samuel Adams]], [http://www.samuel-adams-heritage.com/documents/speech-about-declaration-of-independence.html speech about the Declaration of Independence] (August 1, 1776)

* And that the said [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] be never construed to authorize [[United States Congress|Congress]] to infringe the just liberty of the press, or the rights of conscience; or to prevent the people of the United States, who are peaceable citizens, from keeping their own arms.
** [[Samuel Adams]], (February 6, 1788), reported in Charles Hale, ''Debates and Proceedings in the Convention of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts'' (1856), p. 86. This language was proposed in the Massachusetts convention for ratification of the U.S. Constitution to be added to Article I of that document.

* Americans have a tendency to talk about the ethos of the community, and not of the individual. You think [[w:2006 Lebanon War|this war]] is between Israel and Lebanon, for example. You think about who is right and wrong, but you don't think about the experience of the soldier.
** [[w:Danny Admasu|Danny Admasu]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=vnnGAgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover ''Searching for Zion, The Quest for Home in the African Diaspora''] (2013), by Emily Raboteau, Atlantic Monthly Press, p. 45.

* In America I was liberated from a certain naïve belief in culture and attained the capacity to see culture from the outside. To clarify the point: in spite of all social criticism and all consciousness of the primacy of economic factors, the fundamental importance of the mind—“''[[w:Geist|Geist]]''”—was quasi a dogma self-evident to me from the very beginning. The fact that this was not a foregone conclusion, I learned in America, where no reverential silence in the presence of everything intellectual prevailed.
** [[Theodor Adorno]], as quoted in ''The Origin of Negative Dialectics'' (Free Press: 1977), p. 187.

* In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.
**[[Spiro Agnew]], [http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/blog/alexander-j-motyl/negativists-are-wrong-ukraine speech in San Diego] (September 11, 1970)

* I'm happy. America is the country of freedom and democracy, there are jobs opportunities, there is good education, and we are looking forward to having a good life over there.
** Ahmad al-Abboud, as quoted in [http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/syrias-suffering-families/first-syrian-family-surge-resettlement-program-departs-kansas-city-n551876 ''The Associated Press''] (April 6, 2016)

* I did more for the [[Russia]]n serf in giving him land as well as personal liberty, than [[w:United States|America]] did for the negro slave set free by the proclamation of [[Abraham Lincoln|President Lincoln]]. I am at a loss to understand how you [[w:United States|Americans]] could have been so blind as to leave the negro slave without tools to work out his salvation. In giving him personal liberty, you have him an obligation to perform to the state which he must be unable to fulfill. Without property of any kind he cannot educate himself and his children. I believe the time must come when many will question the manner of [[Emancipation Proclamation|American emancipation of the negro slaves]] in 1863. The vote, in the hands of an ignorant man, without either property or self respect, will be used to the damage of the people at large; for the rich man, without honor or any kind of patriotism, will purchase it, and with it swamp the rights of a free people.
** [[Alexander II of Russia|Alexander II]], emperor of Russia, conversation with Wharton Barker, Pavlovski Palace (August 17, 1879); reported in Barker, &quot;The Secret of Russia's Friendship&quot;, ''The Independent'' (March 24, 1904), p. 647.

* To make America the greatest is my goal, &lt;br /&gt; So I beat the [[Russians]], and I beat the [[Poles|Pole]], &lt;br /&gt; and for the USA won the medal of gold. &lt;br /&gt; [[Italians]] said: 'You're Greater than the Cassius of old'. &lt;br /&gt; We like your name, we like your game, &lt;br /&gt; So make [[Rome]] your home if you will. &lt;br&gt; I said I appreciate your kind hospitality, &lt;br /&gt; But the USA is my country still, &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause they're waiting to welcome me in Louisville.
** [[Muhammad Ali]], poem written after winning the gold medal in the 1960 Olympic Summer Games in Rome, Italy, p. 35.

* I am America; I am the part you won't recognize. But, get used to me.
** [[Muhammad Ali]], as quoted in ''The Greatest''.

* Eleven years later, as I am now definitely writing the last pages in my last book on the subject, I believe circumstances such as “9/11&quot; ''have'' nearly swept us to disaster, the authoritarian threat has grown unabated, and almost all the protections I saw in 1996, such as a “free and vigilant press,” are being eroded or have already been destroyed. The biggest problem we have now, in my view, is authoritarianism. It has placed America at one of those historic cross-roads that will profoundly affect the rest of its history, and the future of our planet. The world deserves a much better America than the one it has seen lately. And so do Americans.
** [[Bob Altemeyer]], ''The Authoritarians'' (2006), Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, p. 246

* Throughout the world, on any given day, a man, woman or child is likely to be displaced, tortured, killed or &quot;disappeared&quot;, at the hands of governments or armed political groups. More often than not, the United States shares the blame.
** {{w|Amnesty International}}, 1996 Report on U. S. Military Aid and Human Rights

* 'Race' and 'ethnicity' categories have changed significantly over time to reflect changes in the American population. Since 1900, 26 different racial terms have been used to identify populations in the [[w:United States Census|U.S. Census]]. Preserving outdated terms for the sake of questionable continuity is a disservice to the nation and the American people.
** {{w|American Anthropological Association}}, [http://www.aaanet.org/gvt/ombdraft.htm &quot;Response to OMB Directive 15&quot;] (September 1997), ''Race and Ethnic Standards for Federal Statistics and Administrative Reporting'', Arlington County, Virginia: American Anthropological Association.

* Yet the concept of [[race]] has become thoroughly, and perniciously, woven into the cultural and political fabric of the United States. It has become an essential element of both individual identity and government policy. Because so much harm has been based on 'racial' distinctions over the years, correctives for such harm must also acknowledge the impact of 'racial' consciousness among the U.S. populace, regardless of the fact that 'race' has no scientific justification in human biology. Eventually, however, these classifications must be transcended and replaced by more non-racist and accurate ways of representing the diversity of the U.S. population. This is the dilemma and opportunity of the moment. It is important to recognize the categories to which individuals have been assigned historically in order to be vigilant about the elimination of discrimination. Yet ultimately, the effective elimination of discrimination will require an end to such categorization, and a transition toward social and cultural categories that will prove more scientifically useful and personally resonant for the public than are categories of 'race'. Redress of the past and transition for the future can be simultaneously effected.
** {{w|American Anthropological Association}}, [http://www.aaanet.org/gvt/ombdraft.htm &quot;Response to OMB Directive 15&quot;] (September 1997), ''Race and Ethnic Standards for Federal Statistics and Administrative Reporting'', Arlington County, Virginia: American Anthropological Association.

* Negroes are American citizens. First class taxpayers, but so often treated as second class citizens, if there is such. In our hearts, we would like to know what it is that the white man has against the negro. What can we do to make peace with the white man? We have to live on this earth together. We cannot do without each other. We as a group, want your friendship, won't you accept?
** Floy J. Anderson, [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/research/online_documents/civil_rights_citizens_letters/1957_10_15_anderson.pdf letter to Dwight Eisenhower] (October 15, 1957), San Francisco, California.

* The idea of America from the beginning was that you could come here, reinvent yourself, be anybody you want, live any way you wanted, believe anything you wanted. For the first few hundred years, like everywhere else in the world, celebrity and fame were a result of some kind of accomplishment or achievement, sometimes not a great accomplishment or achievement, but you did something in the world to earn renown. America really was the key place that invented the modern celebrity culture, which was, beginning a century ago, more and more not necessarily about having won a war or led a people or written a great book or painted a great painting, but about being famous, fame for its own sake. We created that, [...] certainly in the last few decades, more than ever [...] fame itself, however you've got it, was a primary goal for people.
** {{w|Kurt Andersen}} in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XirnEfkdQJM How America Got Divorced from Reality: Christian Utopias, Anti-Elitism, Media Circus] (2:29), Big Think, YouTube video ( October 8, 2017)

* In the process of bungling border security, [[Donald Trump]] has obliterated America's reputation as a nation of [[Immigration|immigrants]]. This is a deeply [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], [[Conservatism|conservative]], [[Classical liberalism|classic liberal]] conception- that the United States is a refuge for those seeking a better life. Such was the condition of the republic at the moment of its founding and ever since. The United States was molded by people who left home in faraway places, by idealistic risk takers and hard workers who fought the odds to each a literal new world. Our republic was not rooted in &quot;[[w:Blood and soil|blood and soil]].&quot; It was rooted in a shared aspiration for a fresh start. However, not being a man of history, Trump never adopted this view.
** Anonymous, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 108

* The better to secure and perpetuate mutual friendship and intercourse among the people of the different States in this Union, the free inhabitants of each of these States, paupers, vagabonds, and fugitives from justice excepted, shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of free citizens in the several States...
** Article IV, [[Articles of Confederation|''Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union'']].

* The policy is crucial thing for us, when they started supporting the [[Terrorism|terrorists]] with such projects, or plans, or steps; this is where you can have more chaos in the world, that's another question, Do the United States have interests in having more chaos around the world or the United States have more interests in having stability around the world? That's another question, of course the United States can create chaos, they've been creating chaos for the last 56 years around the world, It's not something new. Are they going to make it more...worse, more prevailing? That's another question. But it's not about me, it's not about the president, it's about the whole situation in the world, 'cause you cannot separate the situation in Syria from the situation in the Middle East, when the Middle East is not stable, the world cannot be stable.
** [[Bashar al-Assad]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45odEv_1DAY Interview with Bill Neely] (July 2016) on &quot;[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/syria-s-president-bashar-al-assad-speaks-nbc-news-n608746 NBC: Exclusive Interview with Bashar al-Assad]&quot;

* They may attack civillians, and '''I cannot blame the innocents in the United States for the bad intentions of their officials''', this is not correct, and as I said many times, I don't consider the United States as direct enemy as they don't occupy my land.
** [[Bashar al-Assad]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45odEv_1DAY Interview with Bill Neely] (July 2016) on &quot;[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/syria-s-president-bashar-al-assad-speaks-nbc-news-n608746 NBC: Exclusive Interview with Bashar al-Assad]&quot;

* America controls the world, we control America. Never before have Jews exerted such an immense influence on the center of world power.
** Uri Avnery in 2003, describing the pro-Israel policies of neocons under [[George W. Bush]], ''[https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0304/S00146/uri-avnery-the-night-after.htm Uri Avnery: The Night After]''

==B==
[[File:Great Plains, Nebraska, U.S. 1.jpg|thumb|Beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain. ~ [[w:Katharine Lee Bates|Katharine Bates]]]]
[[File:Star-Spangled Banner flag.svg|thumb|As the government of the [[w:United States|United States of America]] is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion, as it has in itself no character or enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of [[Islam|Musselmen]], and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any [[Islam|Mehomitan]] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries. ~ [[Joel Barlow]]]]
[[File:Wheeler Peak from Phillips.jpg|thumb|For purple mountain majesties. Above the fruited plain! America! America! [[God]] shed his grace on thee! ~ [[w:Katharine Lee Bates|Katharine Bates]]]]
[[File:North America satellite.jpg|thumb|The gem of the ocean; the home of the brave and the free. The shrine of each patriot's devotion; a world offers homage to thee. ~ [[w:Thomas à Becket, Sr.|Thomas à Becket]]]]
[[File:NLN William Blum.jpg|thumb|Between 1945 and 2005 the United States has attempted to overthrow more than 50 foreign governments, and to crush more than 30 populist-nationalist movements struggling against intolerable regimes. In the process, the U.S. caused the end of life for several million people, and condemned many millions more to a life of agony and despair. ~ [[William Blum]]]]
[[File:Vonetta Flowers &amp; Jill Bakken at press conference after winning gold medal in 2 woman bobsleigh at 2002 Winter Olympics.jpg|thumb|I found America the friendliest, most forgiving, and most generous nation I had ever visited. ~ [[Jorge Luis Borges]]]]
[[File:STS-135 landing cropped.jpg|thumb|Rumors of America's decline have been greatly exaggerated. In the key categories of power, the U.S. will remain dominant for the foreseeable future... America is still the world's only superpower... That won't change. ~ [[w:Ian Bremmer|Ian Bremmer]]]]
[[File:H Rap Brown - USNWR.jpg|thumb|I don't give a shit who says what. If the muthafucka is wrong, he's wrong. ... In this country, authority is a cover for wrong. I don't respect wrong and I don't respect authority that represents wrong. ~ [[H. Rap Brown]]]]
[[File:Tunnel View, Yosemite Valley, Yosemite NP - Diliff.jpg|thumb|This is a beautiful country. ~ [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]]]]
[[File:Iraqi girls playing.jpg|thumb|If we're an arrogant nation, they'll resent us. If we're a humble nation, but strong, they'll welcome us. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:George Bush with African national leaders February 26, 2002.jpg|thumb|America will always stand firm for the non-negotiable demands of human dignity. The rule of law, limits on the power of the state, respect for women, private property, free speech, equal justice, and religious tolerance. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Usnaturalization.jpg|thumb|We are a land of immigrants, and we ought to recognize that. [[w:United States|America]]'s soul is rejuvenated when people come to our country and work hard to realize dreams. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Surrender Singapore.jpg|thumb|The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil. America rejects the false comfort of isolationism. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Ferguson Day 6, Picture 44.png|thumb|Too many of our citizens have cause to doubt our nation’s justice when the law points a finger of suspicion at groups, instead of individuals. All our citizens are created equal and must be treated equally. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Thure de Thulstrup - L. Prang and Co. - Battle of Gettysburg - Restoration by Adam Cuerden.jpg|thumb|The stakes for [[w:United States|America]] are never small. If [[w:United States|our country]] does not lead the cause of freedom, it will not be led. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Northa_America_satellite_globe_2.jpg|thumb|For most of our history, America felt safe behind two great oceans. But with the spread of technology, distance no longer means security. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 090910-N-2855B-141.jpg|thumb|America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
* A country whose founding statesmen were adamant about the dangers of armed, standing government forces; a country that enshrined the [[Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment]] in the Bill of Rights and revered and protected the age-old notion that the home is a place of privacy and sanctuary.
** [[w:Radley Balko|Radley Balko]], [http://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/how_did_americas_police_become_a_military_force_on_the_streets &quot;How did America’s police become a military force on the streets?&quot;] (July 1, 2013), ''American Bar Association Journal''.

* The United States has always been a nation at odds with its professed aspirations of [[w:Human rights in the United States#Equality|equality]] and justice for all—from [[w:Genocide of indigenous peoples#United States colonization and westward expansion|the genocide]] of [[Genocide of indigenous peoples|original inhabitants]] to [[Slavery in the United States|slavery]] to [[w:Foreign interventions by the United States|military aggression abroad]]. But there have been periods in [[History of the United States|our history]] when courageous [[social movements]] have made significant advances. We must learn from those who’ve gone before us as we strive to build a movement that can tackle today’s injustices—and help all of us survive.
** [[William Barber II]], ''[https://progressive.org/magazine/real-epidemic-poverty-barber/ The Real Epidemic is Poverty]'' (March 30, 2020), ''{{w|The Progressive}}''

* As the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the [[Christianity|Christian Religion]], as it has in itself no character or enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of [[Muslim|Musselmen]], and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
** [[Joel Barlow]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20081020234502/http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/bar1796t.asp Article 11, ''Treaty of Tripoli''] (January 3, 1797)

* I reflected that this was, after all, America, and everyone had a right to go to Hell in the handbasket of their choosing.
** [[w:Steven Barnes|Steven Barnes]], ''Endurance Vile,'' in {{w|George H. Scithers}} &amp; {{w|Darrell Schweitzer}} (eds.) ''Tales from the Spaceport Bar,'' p. 130. Originally appeared in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asimov%27s_Science_Fiction Asimov's Science Fiction] August 1980.

* If you follow your dream, you can do anything in America.
** [[w:Rances Barthelemy|Rances Barthelemy]], ''Premier Boxing Champions'' (December 2015)

* USA! Come on and raise up! This one's for you, uh-huh! this one's for who? Us, us! Us! Yes, sir! Say it loud, United States of America! Time to put it down and do it like this; now fight for something that's worth it. I'm a country boy; never really cared before what was going on. Now that it came a little closer to home, I've got a couple more.
** [[w:Petey Pablo|Moses Barrett]], [https://muzlyrics.net/petey-pablo/raise-up-usa-flag-remix.html &quot;Raise Up, USA Flag Remix&quot;] (2001)

* Beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountain majesties. Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee!
** [[w:Katharine Lee Bates|Katharine Bates]], &quot;{{w|America the Beautiful}}&quot; (1904)

* The American people are good people: Democrats, Independents, Republicans and others. Under no circumstances will I and I hope no others, capitulate to those that want to undercut what's all good in America.
** [[Network (film)|Howard Beale]]

* How anyone can look at the ongoing collapse of the USA due to its evil policies of mass immigration, free trade, and free speech and conclude that the failing state provides a functional model worthy of imitation, much less an ideal model that morally requires installation by force, completely mystifies me.
** [[W:Vox Day|Theodore Beale]], [https://voxday.net/2021/11/06/isolation-is-not-conquest/ Independence is Not Imperialism], ''Vox Popoli'', 6 November 2021

* The modern American regime is built on explicit, institutionalized hostility to the people who most resemble the great Americans of the past. It is anti-white, anti-male, anti-Christian, anti-rural, and anti-middle class. The more of these traits a person has, the more worthy of hate they become. The more the Globalist American Empire decays and squanders the inheritance it was given, the more bile and hatred it directs against those who symbolize what came before.
** [[W:Darren Beatie|Darren Beatie]], [https://www.revolver.news/2021/11/are-you-ready-to-be-an-american-kulak/ Are You Ready To Be An American Kulak?], ''Revolver'', 22 November 2021

* I believe in the protection of divine Providence... I believe there are millions of Americans that are, still believe in, and are still harkening to the spirit... God is not neutral in freedom of all of mankind... If America falls, freedom all over the world takes a mighty blow, and it may take a thousand years to be able to recover from it.
** [[Glenn Beck]], {{citation
    | date = 2012-11-02
    | title = Rep. Allen West in tight race
    | url = http://www.glennbeck.com/2012/11/02/rep-allen-west-in-tight-race/
    | periodical = The Glenn Beck Program
    | medium = Radio
}}, quoted in {{citation
    | date = 2012-11-06
    | title = Beck Confident About Election Because 'God is Not Neutral in [the] Freedom of All of Mankind'
    | first = Kyle
    | last = Mantyla
    | periodical = RightWingWatch
    | url = http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/beck-confident-about-election-because-god-not-neutral-freedom-all-mankind
    | accessdate = 2012-11-07}}

* Oh, Columbia! The gem of the ocean; the home of the brave and the free. The shrine of each patriot's devotion; a world offers homage to thee.
** [[w:Thomas A'Becket (composer)|Thomas à Becket]], &quot;{{w|Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean}}&quot; (1843)

* We have seen America as the symbol of democracy, a symbol to emulate.
** Adelina Bego, as quoted in [http://www.edition.cnn.com/2016/03/30/opinions/why-albania-loves-america-ghitis/index.html &quot;A Muslim country that loves America&quot;] (March 30, 2016), by Frida Ghitis, ''CNN''

*At the end of the day, my view that there is no one standard for evaluating political progress or regress that is universally applicable. There’s different reasonable ways approaching the question of what is a good political society. From [[Plato]] on we have seen competing models for society, and for [[utopia]]. The American standard for measuring political progress and reform in accordance with the democratic ideals embedded in its Constitution and advocated by its [[Founding Fathers of the United States|founding fathers]] have had great impact on many political movements in American history. Of course, there is always a huge gap between the ideal and the reality. But at the end of the day, the standard for evaluating reality should draw on the leading political ideas embedded in American civil culture... Not only does the United States claim that their democratic model is best for them, but it's that it is best for the rest of the world. Some Americans assume that alternative systems are fundamentally illegitimate. Naturally this attitude upsets many...
** [[w:Daniel A. Bell|Daniel A. Bell]], as quoted in [http://thediplomat.com/2015/12/interview-daniel-bell/ &quot;Chinese meritocracy and the limits of democracy&quot;] (December 17, 2015), by Emanuel Pastreich, ''The Diplomat''

* [[Association football|Football]] is a simple game. 22 women chase a ball for ninety minutes and at the end, [[w:United States|the United States]] win.
** [[w:Roger Bennett (journalist)|Roger Bennett]], as quoted in ''[http://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts Men in Blazers]''&lt;!--29:40--&gt; (July 1, 2015)

* This is a country that does things, America. It really does... Americans want to win. They want success; they're doers. You created [[w:Amazon.com|Amazon]]; you created [[w:Tesla|Tesla]]. You can do this.
** [[w:Roger Bennett (journalist)|Roger Bennett]], [https://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts &quot;USMNT Emergency Pod&quot;] (October 11, 2017), ''Men in Blazers''

* This country wasn't built by [[Wall Street]] bankers and [[Chief executive officer|CEOs]] and hedge fund managers. It was built by the American middle class
** [[Joe Biden]], [https://twitter.com/joebiden/status/1139960764016365569 Jun 15, 2019]

* For too long in this society, we have celebrated unrestrained individualism over common community. For too long as a nation, we have been lulled by the anthem of self-interest... We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society, for nothing suffocates the promise of America more than unbounded cynicism and indifference.
** [[Joe Biden]], [http://www.nytimes.com/1987/06/10/us/biden-joins-campaign-for-the-presidency.html speech announcing entry into 1988 presidential race] (June 10, 1987), Wilmington, Delaware

* No president of the United States could represent the United States were he not committed to human rights. If you don't understand this, you can't deal with us.
** [[Joe Biden]], as quoted in [http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/04/06/born-red &quot;Born Red: How Xi Jinping, an unremarkable provincial administrator, became China’s most authoritarian leader since Mao.&quot;] (April   6, 2015), by Evan Osnos, ''The New Yorker''

* Let tyrants shake their iron rod, and slavery clank her galling chains. We fear them not, we trust in God... God forever reigns. The foe comes on with haughty stride. Our troops advance with martial noise. Their veterans flee before our youth, and generals yield to beardless boys.
** [[w:William Billings|William Billings]], [[w:Chester (song)|&quot;Chester&quot;]] (1770), ''The New England Psalm Singer''

* We still love America.
** [[w:Jamie Foxx|Eric M. Bishop]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20150512164633/http://www.rttnews.com/2496252/jamie-foxx-blames-earpiece-for-u-s-anthem-at-mayweather-v-pacquiao-fight.aspx &quot;Jamie Foxx Blames Earpiece For U.S. Anthem At Mayweather V. Pacquiao Fight&quot;] (May 5, 2015), ''RTT News''

* The power of the United States depended heavily on its pale empire of ideas, attitudes and innovations. Its ideas alighted effortlessly on foreign ground, irrespective of who owned the ground. Much of its influence came from such innovations as the [[w:Telephone|telephone]], [[electricity]], [[Airplane|aircraft]] and the cheap [[car]], [[nuclear weapons]] and [[w:spacecraft|spacecraft]], [[computers]] and the [[Internet]]. Its influence came through [[jazz]], cartoons, [[Hollywood]], [[television]] and [[popular culture]]. Its influence came from an excitement about technology and economic change, and a belief in incentives and individual enterprise. It was also the most ardent missionary for the creed of democracy. While military and economic might was vital to the success of the United States, the power of its pale empire of ideas was probably even more pervasive.
** [[Geoffrey Blainey]], ''A Short History of the World'' (2000).

* The global role of the United States is perhaps the ultimate chapter in that long period of European expansion which had begun in [[w:Western Europe|western Europe]], and especially on the Atlantic seaboard, during the [[w:15th century|15th century]]. Europe slowly had outgrown its homeland. Its cultural empire eventually formed a long band traversing most of the Northern Hemisphere and dipping far into the Southern. The modern hub of the peoples and ideas of European origin is now [[New York City|New York]] as much as [[Paris]], or [[Los Angeles]] as much as [[London]]. In the history of the European peoples the city of [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]] is perhaps what [[Istanbul|Constantinople]] - the infant city of [[Constantine the Great|Emperor Constantine]] - was to the last phase of the [[Roman Empire]]; for it is unlikely that Europeans, a century hence, will continue to stamp the world so decisively with their ideas and inventions.
** [[Geoffrey Blainey]], ''A Short History of the World'' (2000).

* Between 1945 and 2005 the United States has attempted to overthrow more than 50 foreign governments, and to crush more than 30 populist-nationalist movements struggling against intolerable regimes. In the process, the U.S. caused the end of life for several million people, and condemned many millions more to a life of agony and despair.
** [[William Blum]], ''Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower'', third edition (2006), p. 1-2.

* America is an exceptional nation in large part because we've aspired to rise above such prejudices and guarantee life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to everyone.
** [[David Boaz]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/430126/donald-trump-conservatives-oppose-nomination &quot;Conservatives Against Trump&quot;] (January 21, 2016), ''National Review''

* I found America the friendliest, most forgiving, and most generous nation I had ever visited. We [[w:South America|South Americans]] tend to think of things in terms of convenience, whereas people in the United States approach things [[ethically]]. This — amateur [[Protestantism|Protestant]] that I am — I admired above all. It even helped me overlook [[Skyscraper|skyscrapers]], paper bags, [[television]], plastics, and the unholy jungle of gadgets.
** [[Jorge Luis Borges]], as quoted in ''The New Yorker'' (September 11, 1970)

* In the city of [[New York]] the banks tower above the cathedrals. [[Bank|Banks]] are the temples of the United States. This is a holy war. Our [[economy]] is our [[religion]].
** [[Giannina Braschi]], United States of Banana, 2011

* It will be very instructive to [[Koreans]] to watch the reaction of Americans. They know it's more gracious than their own reaction would be.
** [[w:Michael Breen|Michael Breen]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20080621094118/http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/04/21/asia/AS-GEN-SKorea-US-Shooting-Sympathy-and-Shame.php &quot;South Koreans balance sympathy and shame in delicate response to U.S. rampage&quot;] (April 20, 2007), ''Associated Press''.

* &lt;p&gt;A '[[w:Superpower|superpower]]' is a country that wields enough military, political and economic might to convince nations in all parts of the world to do things they otherwise wouldn't. Pundits have rushed to label [[China]] the next superpower, and so have many ordinary Americans, but the rumors of America's decline have been greatly exaggerated. In the key categories of power, the U.S. will remain dominant for the foreseeable future. These facts show why America is still the world's only superpower, and why that won't change anytime soon...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Little of China's dramatic economic growth is finding its way into the pockets of Chinese consumers; the byproduct of an economy driven by massive state-owned enterprises rather than private industry. China's headline growth may be higher, but it's the U.S. economy that's allowing its citizens to grow along with it... America's military superiority remains unrivaled; full stop...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The U.S. dominates across land, sea, air and space. America's Middle East misadventures gave the U.S. military a black eye, but the [[Iraq War|wars in Iraq]] and [[War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|Afghanistan]] speak more to the changing nature of warfare than declining U.S. military superiority. Terrorists and guerrilla fighters give conventional military powers fits by design. The U.S. must ultimately learn to scale down to better meet those challenges. Nevertheless, while conventional military strength might not deter terrorists, it still does a terrific job of deterring hostile nations...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In order to have political power abroad, you must first have stability at home. The U.S. has the oldest working national constitution in the world, as well as strong institutions and rule of law to accompany it. While far from perfect, the governing document created by America’s founding fathers has evolved along with its people. The numbers show the enduring attraction of this system: 45 million people living in the U.S. today were born in a foreign country. That is more than four times higher than the next highest country. For many people around the world, America remains the ideal place to start a new life.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:Ian Bremmer|Ian Bremmer]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150528161550/http://time.com/3899972/us-superpower-status-military/ &quot;These Are the 5 Reasons Why the U.S. Remains the World's Only Superpower: Why Washington can still claim global primacy in the 21st century&quot;] (May 28, 2015), ''Time''

* The USA is the world's foremost economic and military power, with global interests and an unmatched global reach. America's gross domestic product accounts for close to a quarter of the world total, and its military budget is reckoned to be almost as much as the rest of the world's defence spending put together. The country is also a major source of entertainment: American TV, Hollywood films, jazz, blues, rock and rap music are primary ingredients in global popular culture. The United States originated in a revolution which separated it from the British Crown. The constitution, drafted in 1787, established a federal system with a division of powers which has remained unchanged in form since its inception. People from all over the globe still try make the U.S. their home... The U.S. contains a highly diverse population, the product of numerous and sustained waves of immigration. Ethnic and racial diversity - the &quot;melting pot&quot; - is celebrated as a core element of the American ideology. The [[w:Civil Rights Act of 1964|1964 Civil Rights Act]] outlawed racial and other discrimination... [[Foreign policy of the United States|U.S. foreign policy]] has often mixed the idealism of its 'mission' to spread democracy with the pursuit of national self-interest. Given America's leading role on the international stage, its foreign policy aims and actions are likely to remain the subject of heated debate and criticism, as well as praise.
** [[w:British Broadcasting Corporation|British Broadcasting Corporation]], [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-16759230 &quot;United States country profile: Overview&quot;] (October 29, 2015), ''BBC News'', United Kingdom.

* Free enterprise and American military leadership around the world are the two things that have pulled more people out of poverty than any other two things in the history of humanity.
** [[w:Arthur C. Brooks|Arthur Brooks]], [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/arthur-brooks/ interview with Bill Kristol] (2015), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/arthur-brooks-video/ transcript]

* Americans still admire dignity. But the word has become un-moored from any larger set of rules or ethical system.
** [[David Brooks]], [http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/07/opinion/07brooks.html?_r=1 &quot;In Search of Dignity&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (July 6, 2009), New York City, New York

* I don't give a shit who says what. If the muthafucka is wrong, he's wrong. ... In this country, authority is a cover for wrong. I don't respect wrong and I don't respect authority that represents wrong.
** [[H. Rap Brown]], ''Die Nigger Die'' (1969)

*  I see America for what it is. It's another Germany. It's the Fourth Reich. America makes [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s and Germany's records look good. 
** [[H. Rap Brown]], as interviewed by Robert L. Allen, in Archives of Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, [https://content.wisconsinhistory.org/digital/collection/p15932coll2/id/31623 Manuscript 577], Box 47, Folder 16

* It is because of [[Racism in the United States|America's racism]] that [[Black people|black people and colored people]] around the world are oppressed. Throughout history black people who spoke out against America and her racism have been subjected to exile, assassination, murder, or imprisonment. So what happened to me is nothing new or different. Justice is a joke in this country for black people, and it stinks of its hypocrisy. Justice in this country means &quot;just-us white folks.&quot; Black people must understand that there is no redress of grievances in the courts but only in the streets, through armed guerrilla action. 
** [[H. Rap Brown]], as interviewed by Robert L. Allen, in Archives of Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, [https://content.wisconsinhistory.org/digital/collection/p15932coll2/id/31623 Manuscript 577], Box 47, Folder 16

* [[Slavery in the United States|Slavery]], throughout its entire existence in the United States, is none other than the most barbarous, unprovoked and unjustifiable war of one portion of its citizens against another portion, the only conditions of which are perpetual imprisonment and hopeless servitude, or absolute extermination, in utter disregard and violation of those eternal and self-evident truths set forth in our Declaration of Independence.
** [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20110421025226/http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/johnbrown/brownconstitution.html &quot;Provisional Constitution and Ordinances&quot;] (1858).

* I, John Brown, am now quite certain that [[Slavery|the crimes]] of [[w:United States|this guilty land]] can never be purged away [[American Civil War|but with blood]]. I had as I now think, vainly flattered myself that without very much bloodshed, it might be done.
** [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]], as quoted in a note that he had at his execution (2 December 1859), most sources say it was handed to the guard, but some dispute that and claim it was handed to a reporter accompaning him; as quoted in ''John Brown and his Men'' (1894) by Richard Josiah Hinton

* This is a beautiful country. 
** [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]], last words (December 2, 1859), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=uiaYWp66b-cC&amp;pg=PR1&amp;dq=John+Brown+and+his+Men+%281894%29+by+Richard+Josiah+Hinton&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=Uub_VN3CN5HbggTdxIK4Cw&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=John%20Brown%20and%20his%20Men%20(1894)%20by%20Richard%20Josiah%20Hinton&amp;f=false ''John Brown and his Men''] (1894) by Richard Josiah Hinton, p. 397.

* The protection of America itself will assume a high priority in a new century. Once a strategic afterthought, homeland defense has become an urgent duty. For most of our history, America felt safe behind two great oceans. But with the spread of [[technology]], distance no longer means security.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.fas.org/spp/starwars/program/news99/92399_defense.htm &quot;A Period of Consequences&quot;] (September 23, 1999), South Carolina

* America has never been an empire. We may be the only great power in history that had the chance, and refused; preferring greatness to power and justice to glory.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/library/news/usa/1999/991119-bush-foreignpolicy.htm speech at Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, Simi Valley, California] (November 19, 1999)

* If we're an arrogant nation, they'll resent us. If we're a humble nation, but strong, they'll welcome us.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/politics/july-dec00/for-policy_10-12.html presidential debate] (October 11, 2000)

* The peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in [[w:United States|our country]]. With a simple oath, we affirm old traditions and make new beginnings... We have a place, all of us, in a long story. A story we continue, but whose end we will not see. It is the story of a new world that became a friend and liberator of the old, a story of a slave-holding society that became a servant of freedom, the story of a power that went into the world to protect but not possess, to defend but not to conquer... America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them; and every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes [[w:United States|our country]] more, not less, American... The stakes for America are never small. If [[w:United States|our country]] does not lead the cause of freedom, it will not be led.
** [[George W. Bush]], ''First Inaugural Address'' (January 20, 2001)

* An artist using statistics as a brush could paint two very different pictures of our country. One would have warning signs: increasing layoffs, rising energy prices, too many failing schools, persistent poverty, the stubborn vestiges of [[Bigotry|racism]]. Another picture would be full of blessings: a balanced budget, big surpluses, a military that is second to none, a country at peace with its neighbors, technology that is revolutionizing the world, and our greatest strength, concerned citizens who care for our country and care for each other... Too many of our citizens have cause to doubt our nation’s justice when the law points a finger of suspicion at groups, instead of individuals. All our citizens are created equal and must be treated equally... A strong America is the world's best hope for peace and freedom. Yet the cause of freedom rests on more than our ability to defend ourselves and our allies. Freedom is exported every day, as we ship goods and products that improve the lives of millions of people. Free trade brings greater political and personal freedom.
** [[George W. Bush]], ''[[s:George W. Bush's First State of the Union Address|State of the Union]]'' (February 27, 2001)

* America's rich musical heritage reflects the diversity of our people. Among many influences, the cultural traditions brought to this land from Africa more than four centuries ago and the remarkable musical achievements of African Americans since then have strongly and unmistakably improved the sound of American music.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20010913053804/http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/06/20010629-16.html ''A Proclamation By the President of the United States of America on Black Music Month''] ( June 29, 2001)

* Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve... America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining... Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/09/11/bush.speech.text/ remarks on the September 11 attacks] (September 11, 2001)

* This is a great country. It’s a great country because we share the same values of respect and dignity and human worth.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2001/09/20010917-11.html &quot;Islam is Peace&quot;] (17 September 2001), as quoted in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jenna-bush-hager-shares-george-w-bushs-islam-is-peace-speech-from-2001_us_5890b4c0e4b02772c4e9528b &quot;Jenna Bush Hager Shares George W. Bush’s ‘Islam Is Peace’ Speech From 2001&quot;] (31 January 2017), by Jenna Amatulli, ''The Huffington Post''

* Uphold the values of America and remember why so many have come here. We are in a fight for our principles, and our first responsibility is to live by them. No one should be singled out for unfair treatment or unkind words because of their ethnic background or religious faith.
**[[George W. Bush]], [[s:Freedom and Fear Are at War|''Freedom and Fear Are at War'': Address to a Joint Session of Congress and the American People]] (20 September 2001)

* No nation owns these aspirations, and no nation is exempt from them. We have no intention of imposing our culture. But America will always stand firm for the non-negotiable demands of human dignity. The rule of law, limits on the power of the state, respect for women, private property, free speech, equal justice, and religious tolerance... Beyond all differences of race or creed, we are one country, mourning together and facing danger together. Deep in the American character, there is honor, and it is stronger than cynicism.
** [[George W. Bush]], [[s:George W. Bush's Second State of the Union Address|2002 State of the Union address]] (29 January 2002), Washington, D.C.

* America rejects bigotry. We reject every act of hatred... We are one country. Every immigrant can be fully and equally American because we're one country. Race and color should not divide us, because America is one country.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20090923141443/http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/infocus/ramadan/islam.html speech at Parkside Hall] (30 April 2002), San Jose, California

* Any suggestion that a segregated past was acceptable or positive is offensive and it is wrong. Recent comments by Senator Lott do not reflect the spirit of our country. He has apologized and rightly so. Every day our nation was segregated was a day that America was unfaithful to our founding ideals, and the founding ideals of our nation, and in fact the founding ideals of the political party I represent, was and remains today the equal dignity and equal rights of every American.
** [[George W. Bush]], speech (12 December 2002), as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/save/http://www.irishtimes.com/news/lott-remarks-on-segregation-wrong-and-offensive-1.1107399 &quot;Lott's Remarks on Segregation 'Wrong and Offense'&quot;] (13 December 2002), ''The Irish Times''

* Americans have upheld the ideals of America by exposing laws and habits contradicting those ideals... Americans share a belief in the values of liberty and dignity; we must share in the labor of advancing those values... In the struggle of the centuries, America learned that freedom is not the possession of one race. We know with equal certainty that freedom is not the possession of one nation. This belief in the natural rights of man, this conviction that justice should reach wherever the sun passes, leads America into the world. With the power and resources given to us, the United States seeks to bring peace where there is conflict, hope where there's suffering, and liberty where there's tyranny.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20030810050737/http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/08/bush.slavery.transcript/ ''Hope and Conscience Will Not Be Silenced''] (8 July 2003), speech at Goree Island, Senegal

* &lt;p&gt;The advance of freedom is the calling of our time; it is the calling of our country...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;America has put our power at the service of principle. We believe that liberty is the design of nature; we believe that liberty is the direction of history. We believe that human fulfillment and excellence come in the responsible exercise of liberty, and we believe that freedom, the freedom we prize, is not for us alone, it is the right and the capacity of all mankind.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.ned.org/events/anniversary/oct1603-Bush.html Address to the National Endowment for Democracy at the United States Chamber of Commerce, Washington, D.C.] (6 November 2003).

* The exercise of rights is ennobled by service and mercy and a heart for the weak. Liberty for all does not mean independence from one another. Our nation relies on men and women who look after a neighbor and surround the lost with love. Americans, at our best, value the life we see in one another and must always remember that even the unwanted have worth. And our country must abandon all the habits of racism because we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of [[bigotry]] at the same time.
** [[George W. Bush]], ''[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4460172 second inaugural address]'' (20 January 2005)

* We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it... The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil. America rejects the false comfort of isolationism.
** [[George W. Bush]], ''[http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/31/sotu.transcript/index.html State of the Union]'' (31 January 2006)

* The United States was founded on the belief that all men are created equal. Every Election Day, millions of Americans of all races, religions, and backgrounds step into voting booths throughout the Nation. Whether they are rich or poor, old or young, each of them has an equal share in choosing the path that our country will take. And every ballot they cast is a reminder that our founding principles are alive and well.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2008/11/20081101.html radio address] (1 November 2008)

* America is a young country full of vitality, constantly growing and renewing itself. And even in the toughest times, we lift our eyes to the broad horizon ahead... The battles waged by our troops are part of a broader struggle between two dramatically different systems. Under one, a small band of fanatics demands total obedience to an oppressive ideology, condemns women to subservience, and marks unbelievers for murder. The other system is based on the conviction that freedom is the universal gift of Almighty God and that liberty and justice light the path to peace. This is the belief that gave birth to [[w:United States|our nation]]. And in the long run, advancing this belief is the only practical way to protect our citizens... America must maintain our moral clarity. I have often spoken to you about good and evil. This has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=fFqezJcneeI#Presidential_Farewell_Speech_George_W_Bush farewell speech to the nation] (20 January 2009)

* We are a land of immigrants, and we ought to recognize that. [[w:United States|America]]'s soul is rejuvenated when people come to our country and work hard to realize dreams.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.c-span.org/video/?297693-1/qa-former-president-george-w-bush ''Q&amp;A with Former President George W. Bush''] (24 January 2011)

* The greatest nation, ever. Here you can strive and succeed as far as you dare to dream. It says something about our country that millions around the world are willing to leave their homes and families and risk everything to come here and realize the American dream. Their pursuit of that dream invigorates our national soul. It renews our country’s character; and it adds vitality to our culture... A land that is compassionate and decent... We believe in the rights and dignity of our own citizenry, we are committed to defending the rights and dignity of people everywhere. America has liberated millions around the world from tyranny and terror. We’ve helped turn the tide against deadly disease in places like Africa. In our hearts we believe all are created equal... The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world, it is Almighty God’s gift to humanity... It is essential to this nation's future that we remember that the freedom to worship who we want, and how we want, or not worship at all, is a core belief.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.smu.edu/News/2015/commencement-may-bush-address Remarks by President George W. Bush at SMU's 100th Spring Commencement Convocation] (16 May 2015)

* Our identity as a nation — unlike many other nations — is not determined by geography or ethnicity, by soil or blood. Being an American involves the embrace of high ideals and civic responsibility. We become the heirs of [[Thomas Jefferson]] by accepting the ideal of human dignity found in the Declaration of Independence. We become the heirs of [[James Madison]] by understanding the genius and values of the U.S. Constitution. We become the heirs of [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], by recognizing one another not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. This means that people of every race, religion, and ethnicity can be fully and equally American. It means that [[bigotry]] or [[white supremacy]] in any form is [[blasphemy]] against the American creed. And it means that the very identity of our nation depends on the passing of civic ideals to the next generation... Self-correction is the secret strength of freedom. We are a nation with a history of resilience and a genius for renewal.
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2YlVZxu_L0 remarks at Bush Institute Summit, &quot;The Spirit of Liberty: At Home, In The World&quot; at the Bush Institute Summit in New York City] (October 2017), as quoted in [http://archive.is/jl9AF#selection-2115.0-2135.112 ''The Washington Post''] (October 2017)

==C==
[[File:McDonald's, Germantown, Maryland, September 9, 2013.JPG|thumb|Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food. ~ [[George Carlin]]]]
[[File:Stokely Carmichael in Alabama 1966.jpeg|thumb|For a century, this nation has been like an octopus of exploitation, its tentacles stretching from Mississippi and Harlem to South America, the Middle East, southern Africa, and Vietnam; the form of exploitation varies from area to area but the essential result has been the same—a powerful few have been maintained and enriched at the expense of the poor and voiceless colored masses. This pattern must be broken. ~ [[Stokely Carmichael]]]]
[[File:Jimmy Carter.jpg|thumb|We've become now an [[oligarchy]] instead of a democracy. And I think that's been the worst damage to the basic moral and ethical standards of the American political system that I've ever seen in my life. ~ [[Jimmy Carter]]]]
[[File:Capitol_2.jpg|thumb|We have built no national temples but the Capitol; we consult no common oracle but the Constitution. ~ [[Rufus Choate]]]]
[[File:Ward Churchill.jpg|thumb|I hear Republicans and Libertarians and so forth talking about property rights, but they stop talking about property rights as soon as the subject of American Indians comes up, because they know fully well, perhaps not in a fully articulated, conscious form, but they know fully well that the basis for the very system of endeavor and enterprise and profitability to which they are committed and devoted accrues on the basis of theft of the resources of someone else. They are in possession of stolen property. They know it. They all know it. It's a dishonest endeavor from day one. ~ [[Ward Churchill]]]]
[[File:US Capitol west side.JPG|thumb|Our democracy must be not only the envy of the world but the engine of our own renewal. ~ [[Bill Clinton]]]]
[[File:Lyndon Johnson and Martin Luther King, Jr. - Voting Rights Act.jpg|thumb|There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. ~ [[Bill Clinton]]]]
[[File:Borderwallbrownsvile.jpg|thumb|200px|And throughout the history of the borderlands, the [[military]] or armed [[w:militias|militias]] have been dispatched there to keep [[w:Black people|black]] [[slaves]] from fleeing, remove [[Native Americans]] from [[w:Ancestral lands|ancestral lands]] and suppress [[Mexican]]-[[American]] revolts stemming from [[anger]] over white mob [[violence]]. ~ Russell Contreras]]
[[File:Greater coat of arms of the United States.svg|thumb|America at least has demonstrated that republics are not ungrateful. It is one of the glories of our country that so long as we remain faithful to the cause of justice and truth and liberty, this action will continue. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:1807 half dollar rev.jpg|thumb|We've gotten to where we've nearly 'them'ed ourselves to death. Them and them and them. But this is America. There is no them; there's only us. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice, for all. ~ [[Bill Clinton]]]]
[[File:US flag 13 stars – Betsy Ross.svg|thumb|When the people of the colonies were defending their liberties against the might of kings, they chose their banner from the design set in the firmament through all eternity. The flags of great empires of that day have gone, but the stars and stripes remain. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 030501-N-8029P-003 A total of 43 sailors assigned to USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72) take the oath of citizenship upon the completion of a naturalization ceremony.jpg|thumb|America is a large country. It is a tolerant country. It has room within its borders for many races and many creeds. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 090918-N-2013O-142 Service members and family members recite the oath of allegiance during a naturalization ceremony at Commander, Fleet Activities Yokosuka.jpg|thumb|There is no better American spirit than that which is exhibited by many of those who have recently come to our shores. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 100804-N-6770T-031 Sailors, Airmen, and Soldiers from nations around the world swear in as U.S. citizens during a naturalization ceremony aboard USS Port Royal (CG 73).jpg|thumb|We are situated differently in this respect from any other country. All the other great powers have a comparatively homogeneous population, close kindred in race and blood and speech, and commonly little divided in religious beliefs. Our great nation is made up of the strong and virile pioneering stock of nearly all the countries of the world. We have a variety of race and language and religious belief. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Coat of arms of the United States.svg|thumb|American citizenship is a high estate. He who holds it is the peer of kings. It has been secured only by untold toil and effort. It will be maintained by no other method. It demands the best that men and women have to give, but it likewise awards to its partakers the best that there is on earth. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:DA-SD-05-00599.jpg|thumb|[[w:African American|Colored people]] have repeatedly proved their devotion to the high ideals of [[w:United States|our country]]. [[w:African American|They]] gave [[w:African American|their]] services in [[World War I|the war]] with the same [[patriotism]] and readiness that other citizens did. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 100308-N-7280V-224 Sailors recite the pledge of allegiance as they become U.S. citizens during a naturalization ceremony aboard the U.S. 7th Fleet command ship USS Blue Ridge (LCC 19).jpg|thumb|It is one of the anomalies of the human story that these peoples, who could not be assimilated and unified... should on coming to America discover an amazing genius for cooperation, for fusion, and for harmonious effort. Yet they were the same people when they came here that they had been on the other side... Quite apparently, they found something in our institutions, something in the American system of Government and society which they themselves helped to construct, that furnished to all of them a political and cultural common denominator. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:USMC-100201-M-4752B-003.jpg|thumb|Perhaps no country on earth has greater responsibilities than [[w:United States|America]]. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Top of Rock Cropped.jpg|thumb|Our experience in that respect ought not to lead us too hastily to assume that we have been therefore better than other people, but certainly we have been more fortunate. We came on the stage at a later time, so that this country had presented to it, already attained, a civilization that other countries had secured only as a result of a long and painful struggle. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 100208-N-2475A-088 Sailors stand by for morning colors aboard the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis (CVN 74).jpg|thumb|We went in and came out singularly free from those questionable causes and results which have often characterized other wars. We were not moved by the age-old antagonisms of racial jealousies and hatreds. We were not seeking to gratify the ambitions of any reigning dynasty. We were not inspired by trade and commercial rivalries. We harbored no imperialistic designs. We feared no other country. We coveted no territory. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:080930-110605 - SGT Lisa Morales awaits turn.jpg|thumb|We have waged no wars to determine a succession, establish a dynasty, or glorify a reigning house. Our military operations have been for the service of the cause of humanity. The principles on which they have been fought have more and more come to be accepted as the ultimate standards of the world. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Iraqi child with U.S. Troops.jpg|thumb|The spirit of America is to help everybody and injure nobody. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 091218-N-6046S-055 Sailors prepare to hoist the national Ensign on the stern of the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis (CVN 74).jpg|thumb|Our condition today is not merely that of one people under one flag, but of a thoroughly united people who have seen bitterness and enmity which once threatened to sever them pass away, and a spirit of kindness and good will reign over them all. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:1.12.02NewYorkStockExchangeByLuigiNovi1.jpg|thumb|The chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US Navy 100920-N-6632S-068 Sailors raise their right hands while reciting the oath of citizenship during a naturalization ceremony in the hangar ba.jpg|thumb|As a nation, our first duty must be to those who are already our inhabitants, whether native or immigrants. To them we owe an especial and a weighty obligation. They came to us with stout hearts and high hopes of bettering their estate. They have contributed much to making our country what it is. They magnificently proved their loyalty by contributing their full part when the war made demand for sacrifices by all Americans. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Freedom Day, Claiborne County, Mississippi.jpg|thumb|People have marveled at the growth and strength of America. They have wondered how a few weak and discordant colonies were able to win their independence from one of the greatest powers of the world. They have been amazed at our genius for self-government. They have been unable to comprehend how the shock of a great Civil War did not destroy our Union. They do not understand the economic progress of our people. It is true that we have had the advantage of great natural resources, but those have not been exclusively ours. Others have been equally fortunate in that direction. The progress of America has been due to the spirit of the people. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US flag 48 stars.svg|thumb|Alone of all flags, it expresses the sovereignty of the people which endures when all else passes away. Speaking with their voice, it has the sanctity of revelations. He who lives under it and disloyal to it is a traitor to the human race everywhere. What could be saved if the flag of the American nation were to perish? ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:US men's soccer team trains in NJ 2010-05-20.jpg|thumb|In the case of a people which represents many nations, cultures, and races, as does our own, a unification of interests and ideals in recreations is bound to wield a telling influence for solidarity of the entire population. No more truly democratic force can be set off against the tendency to class and caste than the democracy of individual parts and prowess in sport. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:NYSE_Wall_St_2002.jpg|thumb|Our inhabitants are especially free to promote their own welfare. They are unburdened by militarism. They are not called upon to support any imperialistic designs. Every mother can rest in the assurance that her children will find here a land of devotion, prosperity and peace. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:U.S. Capitol Washington D.C..jpg|thumb|American government was the result of an effort to establish institutions under which the people as a whole should have the largest possible advantages. Class and privilege were outlawed, freedom and opportunity were guaranteed. They undertook to provide conditions under which service would be adequately rewarded, and where the people would own their own property and control their own government. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:GEN Colin Powell.JPG|thumb|The [[Bigotry|propaganda of prejudice and hatred]] which sought to keep the colored men from supporting the national cause completely failed. The black man showed himself the same kind of citizen, moved by the same kind of [[patriotism]], as the white man. They were tempted, but not one betrayed [[w:United States|his country]]. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Henry Johnson.PNG|thumb|During [[World War I|the war]] 500,000 colored men and boys were called up under the draft, not one of whom sought to evade it. They took their places wherever assigned in defense of [[w:United States|the nation of which they are just as truly citizens]] as are any others. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:USA Flag Map.svg|thumb|The liberal attitude of every citizen toward his fellows. It is this factor which has preserved to all of us that equality of opportunity which enables every American to become the architect of whatever fortune he deserves. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Powell.JPEG|thumb|No part of the community responded more willingly, more generously, more unqualifiedly, to the demand for special extraordinary exertion, than did the members of the Negro race. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:ColinPowell.JPEG|thumb|Whether in the military service, or in the vast mobilization of industrial resources which the war required, the Negro did his part precisely as did the white man. He drew no color line when patriotism made its call upon him. He gave precisely as his white fellow citizens gave, to the limit of resources and abilities, to help the general cause. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Political and Military Personalities of the Gulf War 1990-1991 GLF1174.jpg|thumb|The American Negro established his right to the gratitude and appreciation which the Nation has been glad to accord. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:Defense.gov News Photo 090120-N-9286M-059.jpg|thumb|Let us keep our desire to help other lands as a great and broad principle, not to help in one place and do harm in another, but to render assistance everywhere. ~ [[Calvin Coolidge]]]]
[[File:American Morgan Horse.jpg|thumb|Never fear, true hearts! A people which has shown the quality of its genius as this nation has in the last four years will finish its work. It will go forward and not backward. For our America shall be the Sinai of the nations, and from the terrible thunders and lightnings of its great struggle shall proceed the divine law of liberty that shall subdue and harmonize the world. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:Battle of Guiliford Courthouse 15 March 1781.jpg|thumb|The United States was made by men of all races and colors, not for white men, but for the refuge and defense of ''[[man]]''. If it does not rest upon the natural rights of man, it rests nowhere. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:Washington Constitutional Convention 1787.jpg|thumb|We want America free at home, and free in the world. We want to silence the outcry of nation against nation, in the fullness of understanding, and we wish to silence [[Bigotry|the cry of class against class]], and stifle the party appeal to class, so that we may ensure tranquility in our own freedom. ~ [[Warren G. Harding]]]]
[[File:U.S. flag (35 stars).svg|thumb|Manhood in America is to be measured not by the color of the skin, but by the quality of the soul. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-55, 1861-crop.jpg|thumb|[[Abraham Lincoln|The truest American president we have ever had]], the companion of [[George Washington|Washington]] in our love and honor, recognized that the poorest man, however outraged, however ignorant, however despised, however black, was, as a man, his equal. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:New American citizens wave their flags.jpg|thumb|Let it never be forgotten that the cause of [[w:United States|the United States]] is the cause of human nature, not of white men nor black men nor red men nor brown men, but of man, of mankind. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:US Great Seal 1877 drawing.png|thumb|There is no gentleman in America, but he who feels that every man is his equal in natural right, and who does not know that he is cheated if every man does not have fair play. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:Oil on Canvas Portrait of Dred Scott (cropped).jpg|thumb|The United States, in its essential spirit and intention, recognizes the essential manhood of Dred Scott as absolutely as it does that of the president, of the chief justice, or of any senator of the United States. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:US Navy 030501-N-9214D-048 Sailors raise their right hands and take the oath of U.S. citizenship during a naturalization ceremony held at Cabrillo National Monument.jpg|thumb|A different idea has taken place with the people of America, more favorable to the natural rights of mankind, and to that natural, innate desire of liberty, with which Heaven, without regard to color, complexion, or shape of noses-features, has inspired all the human race. And upon this ground our constitution. ~ [[w:William Cushing|William Cushing]]]]
* You mess with [[Israel]], you are messing with the United States of America. It's that simple.
** [[Herman Cain]], as quoted in [http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/05/20/herman_cain_obama_threw_israel_under_the_bus.html ''Real Clear Politics''] (May 20, 2011)

* The United States of America is not going to become the United States of [[Europe]], not on our watch.
** [[Herman Cain]], as quoted in [http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/dayton-news/tea-party-speaker-stupid-people-running-country-977298.html ''Dayton Daily News''] (2011)

* Ultimately, the economic foundations of this country must be shaken if black people are to control their lives. The [[Colony|colonies]] of the United States—and this includes the black ghettoes within its borders, north and south—must be liberated. For a century, this nation has been like an octopus of exploitation, its tentacles stretching from [[Mississippi]] and [[w:Harlem|Harlem]] to South America, the [[Middle East]], [[w:Southern Africa|southern Africa]], and [[Vietnam]]; the form of exploitation varies from area to area but the essential result has been the same—a powerful few have been maintained and enriched at the expense of the poor and voiceless colored masses. This pattern must be broken. 
** [[Stokely Carmichael]] [http://www.nybooks.com/articles/1966/09/22/what-we-want/ &quot;What We Want,&quot;] ''[[w:New York Review of Books|New York Review of Books]]'', September 22, 1966

* Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of [[w:Fast food|fast food]].
** [[George Carlin]], ''Life Is Worth Losing'' (2005)

* The American approach is not to dominate.
** [[w:Ash Carter|Ashton B. Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose] (February 2016)

* It violates the essence of what made America a great country in its political system. Now it’s just an [[oligarchy]] with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or being elected president. And the same thing applies to governors, and U.S. Senators and congress members. So, now we’ve just seen a subversion of our political system as a payoff to major contributors, who want and expect, and sometimes get, favors for themselves after the election is over... At the present time the incumbents, Democrats and Republicans, look upon this unlimited money as a great benefit to themselves. Somebody that is already in Congress has a great deal more to sell, to an avid contributor.
** [[Jimmy Carter]], statement on the [[w:Citizens United v. FEC|''Citizens United'' decision of the Supreme Court]], in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDsPWmioSHg an interview with Thom Hartmann (28 July 2015)]; also quoted in [http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/videos/jimmy-carter-u-s-is-an-oligarchy-with-unlimited-political-bribery-20150731  Jimmy Carter: U.S. Is an 'Oligarchy With Unlimited Political Bribery'&quot; in ''Rolling Stone'' (31 July 2015)], and in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-zuesse/jimmy-carter-is-correct-t_b_7922788.html &quot;Jimmy Carter Is Correct That the U.S. Is No Longer a Democracy&quot; by Eric Zuesse, in ''Huffington Post'' (3 August 2015)].

* We've become now an [[oligarchy]] instead of a democracy. And I think that's been the worst damage to the basic moral and ethical standards of the American political system that I've ever seen in my life.
** [[Jimmy Carter]], statement in [http://www.supersoul.tv/supersoul-sunday/jimmy-carter-on-whether-he-could-be-president-today-absolutely-not/ an interview on ''SuperSoul Sunday''] with [[Oprah Winfrey]], as quoted in [https://mic.com/articles/125813/jimmy-carter-tells-oprah-america-is-no-longer-a-democracy-now-an-oligarchy &quot;Jimmy Carter Tells Oprah America Is No Longer a Democracy, Now an Oligarchy&quot; by Jon Levine, in ''.Mic'' (24 September 2015)].
 
*(The United States is) the most warlike nation in the history of the world... How many miles of [[High-speed rail|high-speed railroad]] do we have in this country?... We have wasted, I think, $3 trillion ([[Military-industrial complex|military spending]]) ... [[China]] has not wasted a single penny on war, and that's why they're ahead of us.  In almost every way... And I think the difference is if you take $3 trillion and put it in American infrastructure, you'd probably have $2 trillion left over. We'd have high-speed railroad. We'd have bridges that aren't collapsing. We'd have roads that are maintained properly. Our [[education system]] would be as good as that of, say, [[South Korea]] or [[Hong Kong]]... I wasn't comparing my country adversely to China, I was just pointing that out because I happened to get a phone call last night.
**[[Jimmy Carter]] quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2019/04/15/713495558/president-trump-called-former-president-jimmy-carter-to-talk-about-china President Trump Called Former President Jimmy Carter To Talk About China, Emma Hurt, ''NPR''] (April 15, 2019)

* I think this whole notion that somehow we can just say no more [[Muslim|Muslims,]] just ban a whole religion, goes against everything we stand for and believe in. I wouldn't support a ban on all Muslims coming into this country.
** [[Dick Cheney|Richard Cheney]], [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/dick-cheney-more-conservatives-slam-trumps-proposal-to-keep-muslims-out-of-u-s/ ''The Hugh Hewitt Show''] (December 7, 2015).

* We have built no national temples but the [[w:United States Capitol|Capitol]]; we consult no common oracle but the Constitution.
** [[Rufus Choate]], ''The Importance of Illustrating New-England History by a Series of Romances like the Waverley Novels'' (1833), a lecture delivered at Salem, Massachusetts.

*'''We should recognize that white male supremacy is a deep current in American history.''' It’s not gonna go away immediately. But there have been dents, significant ones. So for example, even in the mainstream, when the ''New York Times'' ran the 1619 Project, it couldn’t have happened a couple of years earlier. And it’s because of changes in general consciousness and awareness. Of course, there was an immediate backlash, strong backlash, and you’re gonna expect that, white male supremacy is a deep part of American history and culture. To extirpate it is not gonna be easy. And, but there are, there’s very significant progress. Plenty of conflict coming. It’s not gonna be an easy struggle.
**[[Noam Chomsky]],  [https://lauraflanders.org/2021/10/aoc-noam-chomsky/ AOC &amp; Noam Chomsky: The Way Forward + transcript]    October 28, 2021

* I choose to live in what I think is the greatest country in the world, which is committing horrendous [[Terrorism|terrorist]] acts and should stop.
**[[Noam Chomsky]],   Debate with [[w:William Bennett|Bill Bennett]] on [[w:CNN|CNN]], May 30, 2002 [http://www.radio4all.net/index.php?op=program-info&amp;program_id=11118]

* [[September 11]] shocked many Americans into an awareness that they had better pay much closer attention to what the US government does in the world and how it is perceived. Many issues have been opened for discussion that were not on the agenda before. That's all to the good. It is also the merest sanity, if we hope to reduce the likelihood of future atrocities. '''It may be comforting to pretend that our enemies &quot;hate our freedoms,&quot; as President Bush stated, but it is hardly wise to ignore the real world''', which conveys different lessons. '''The president is not the first to ask: &quot;Why do they hate us?&quot;''' In a staff discussion 44 years ago, '''President [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] described &quot;the campaign of hatred against us''' [in the Arab world], '''not by the governments but by the people&quot;. His [[w:United States National Security Council|National Security Council]] outlined the basic reasons: the US supports corrupt and oppressive governments and is &quot;opposing political or economic progress&quot; because of its interest in controlling the oil resources of the region. ...What they hate is official policies that deny them freedoms to which they aspire.'''
**[[Noam Chomsky]], ''The Guardian'', September 9, 2002 [http://www.chomsky.info/articles/20020909.htm].

* In the United States you're not allowed to talk about [[Class conflict|class differences]]. In fact, only two groups are allowed to be [[class-conscious]] in the United States. One of them is the business community, which is rabidly class-conscious. When you read their literature, it's all full of the danger of the masses and their rising power and how we have to defeat them. It's kind of vulgar, inverted [[Marxism]]. The other group is the high planning sectors of the government. They talk the same way &amp;mdash; how we have to worry about the rising aspirations of the common man and the impoverished masses who are seeking to improve standards and harming the business climate. So they can be class-conscious. They have a job to do. But it's extremely important to make other people, the rest of the population, believe that there is no such thing as class. We're all just equal, we're all Americans, we live in harmony, we all work together, everything is great.
** [[Noam Chomsky]], &quot;The Unmentionable [[Social class|Five-Letter Word]]&quot; in ''The Prosperous Few and the Restless Many'' (1993), in ''How the World Works'', p. 120.

*Sectors of the [[Status quo|doctrinal system]] serve to divert the unwashed masses and reinforce the basic social values: [[passivity]], [[Servitude|submissiveness]] to [[authority]], the overriding virtue of [[greed]] and [[materialism|personal gain]], lack of concern for others, [[fear]] of real or imagined enemies, etc. The goal is to keep the [[Confused|bewildered]] herd bewildered. It's unnecessary for them to trouble themselves with [[status quo|what's happening in the world]]. In fact, it's undesirable -- if they see too much of [[reality]] they may set themselves to [[change]] it. p. 69
**[[Noam Chomsky]], ''What Uncle Sam Really Wants,'' 1993

*A study of the inter-American system published by the [[w:Royal Institute of International Affairs in London|Royal Institute of International Affairs in London]] concluded that, while the US pays lip service to democracy, the real commitment is to &quot;private, capitalist enterprise.&quot; When the rights of investors are threatened, democracy has to go; if these rights are safeguarded, killers and torturers will do just fine. p. 19
**[[Noam Chomsky]], ''What Uncle Sam Really Wants,'' 1993

*The [[democratic]] postulate is that the media are independent and committed to discovering and reporting the [[truth]], and that they do not merely reflect the world as powerful groups wish it to be perceived. Leaders of the media claim that their new choices rest on unbiased professional and objective criteria, and they have support for this contention in the intellectual community. If, however, the [[Tyranny|powerful]] are able to fix the premises of discourse, to [[control|decide]] what the general populace is allowed to see, hear, and think about, and to “manage” public opinion by regular [[propaganda]] campaigns, the standard view of how [[Status quo|the system]] works is at serious odds with [[reality]]. 
**[[Noam Chomsky]], ''Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media'', 1992


* I hear Republicans and [[Libertarianism|Libertarians]] and so forth talking about [[Right to property|property rights]], but they stop talking about property rights as soon as the subject of American Indians comes up, because they know fully well, perhaps not in a fully articulated, conscious form, but they know fully well that the basis for the very system of endeavor and enterprise and profitability to which they are committed and devoted accrues on the basis of theft of the resources of someone else. They are in possession of stolen property. They know it. They all know it. It's a dishonest endeavor from day one.
** [[Ward Churchill]], in ''Z Magazine'', vol. 8, p. 32.

* We recognize the equality of all men before the law, and hold that it is the duty of government in its dealings with the people to mete out equal and exact justice to all, of whatever nativity, race, color, or persuasion, religious or political.
** [[s:Civil Rights Act of 1875|''Civil Rights Act of 1875'']]

* America is the most inventive country in the world. Why? Because everybody has access to information. In the [[Soviet Union]] it was illegal to take a photograph of a train station. Look what happened to them. They tried to classify everything. The more information available to the average person, the greater the synergy that develops from it.
** [[Tom Clancy]], as quoted in ''Vonnegut and Clancy on Technology'', by David H. Freedman and Sarah Schafer.

[[File:SaddamSpiderHole.jpg|thumb|We've got a good military and we can take down governments. ~ [[Wesley Clark]]]]
* I've been through [[w:The Pentagon|the Pentagon]], right after 9/11. About 10 days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon, and I saw [[Donald Rumsfeld|Secretary Rumsfeld]] and [[Paul Wolfowitz|Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz]]. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the [[w:United States Joint Chiefs of Staff|Joint Staff]] who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, “Sir, you’ve got to come in and talk to me a second.” I said, “Well, you’re too busy.” He said, “No, no.” He says, “We’ve made the decision we’re going to war with Iraq.” This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, “We’re going to war with Iraq? Why?” He said, “I don’t know.” He said, “I guess they don’t know what else to do.” So I said, “Well, did they find some information connecting [[Saddam Hussein|Saddam]] to [[al-Qaeda]]?” He said, “No, no.” He says, “There’s nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.” He said, “I guess it’s like we don’t know what to do about terrorists, but we’ve got a good military, and we can take down governments.” And he said, “I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail.” So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan. I said, “Are we still going to war with Iraq?” And he said, “Oh, it’s worse than that.” He reached over on his desk. He picked up a piece of paper. And he said, “I just got this down from upstairs” — meaning the secretary of defense’s office — “today.” And he said, “This is a memo that describes how we’re going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with [[Iraq]], and then [[Syria]], [[Lebanon]], [[Libya]], [[Somalia]], [[Sudan]] and, finishing off, [[Iran]].” I said, “Is it classified?” He said, “Yes, sir.” I said, “Well, don’t show it to me.” and I saw him a year or so ago and I said: &quot;Remember that?&quot; he said: &quot;Sir, I didn't show you that memo! I didn't show it to ya!&quot;
** [[w:Wesley Clark|Wesley Clark]], ''Democracy Now — Gen. Wesley Clark Weighs Presidential Bid: “I Think About It Every Day”'', (2 March 2007)

* I have heard something said on this and a former occasion about allegiance to the [[Southern United States|south]]. I know no south, no north, no east, no west, to which I owe any allegiance. I owe allegiance to two [[sovereignty]], and only two. One is the sovereignty of this [[Union (United States)|Union]], and the other is the sovereignty of the state of [[Kentucky]]. My allegiance is to this Union and to my state, but if gentlemen suppose they can exact from me an acknowledgement of allegiance to any ideal or future contemplated confederacy of the south, I here declare that I owe no allegiance to it. Nor will I, for one, come under any such allegiance if I can avoid it.
** [[Henry Clay]], speech in the Senate (February 14, 1850), as quoted in ''The Life, Correspondence, and Speeches of Henry Clay (Vol. 3)''; ed. Calvin Colton: A. S. Barnes &amp; Co., 1857.

* If a man like [[Malcolm X]] could change and repudiate [[Bigotry|racism]], if I myself and other former [[Islam|Muslims]] can change, if young whites can change, then there is [[hope]] for [[w:United States|America]].
** [[Eldridge Cleaver]], as quoted in ''[[w:Soul on Ice|Soul on Ice]]'' (1968), Part II: &quot;The White Race and Its Heroes&quot;.

* Americans think of themselves collectively as a huge rescue squad on twenty-four-hour call to any spot on the globe where dispute and conflict may erupt.   
** [[Eldridge Cleaver]], as quoted in ''[[w:Soul on Ice|Soul on Ice]]'' (1968), Part II: &quot;Rallying Round the Flag&quot;.

* As to the American tradition of non-meddling, [[Anarchism]] asks that it be carried down to the individual himself. It demands no jealous barrier of isolation; it knows that such isolation is undesirable and impossible; but it teaches that by all men's strictly minding their own business, a fluid society, freely adapting itself to mutual needs, wherein all the world shall belong to all men, as much as each has need or desire, will result. And when Modern Revolution has thus been carried to the heart of the whole world — if it ever shall be, as I hope it will — then may we hope to see a resurrection of that proud spirit of our fathers which put the simple dignity of Man above the gauds of wealth and class, and held that to be an American was greater than to be a king. In that day there shall be neither kings nor Americans — only Men; over the whole earth, MEN.
** [[Voltairine de Cleyre]], [http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/cleyre/amertrad.html &quot;Anarchism &amp; American Traditions&quot;] (January 1909), ''Mother Earth''.

* We've gotten to where we've nearly 'them'ed ourselves to death. Them and them and them. But this is America. There is no them; there's only us. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice, for all.
** [[Bill Clinton]], &quot;[[s:A Place Called Hope|A Place Called Hope]]&quot; (July 16, 1992).

* Our democracy must be not only the envy of the world but the engine of our own renewal. There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.
** [[Bill Clinton]], [[s:Bill Clinton's first inaugural address|first inaugural address]] (January 20, 1993), Washington, D.C.

* Despite what you hear, we don't need to make America great again. America has never stopped being great.
** [[Hillary Clinton]], [http://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-dem-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/02/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-slogan-219908 speech] (February 2016)

* America isn’t afraid to compete.
** [[Hillary Clinton]], speech in {{w|Warren, Michigan}}. Transcript by ''{{w|Newsweek}}'' [http://www.newsweek.com/hillary-clinton-full-transcript-economic-speech-489602] (August 11, 2016).

* My estimate of American character has improved, contrary to my expectations, by this visit...I find myself in love with their intelligence, their sincerity, and the decorous self-respect that actuates all classes. The very genius of activity seems to have found its fit abode in the souls of this restless and energetic race. They have not, ‘tis true, the force of Englishmen in personal weight or strength, but they have compensated for this deficiency by quickening the momentum of their enterprises. All is in favour of celerity of action and the saving of time. Speed, speed, speed, is the motto that is stamped in the form of their ships and steamboats, in the breed of their horses, and the light construction of their wagons and carts: and in the ten thousand contrivances that are met with here, whether for the abridging of the labour of months or minutes, whether a high-pressure engine or a patent boot-jack. All is done in pursuit of one common object, the economy of time. 
** [[Richard Cobden]], letter to F. Cobden (5 July 1835) during his visit to the United States, quoted in John Morley, ''The Life of Richard Cobden'' (London: T. Fisher Unwin, 1905), pp. 39-40.

* If the [[w:United States|United States]] go wrong what hope have we of the civilized world in our turn?
** [[Richard Cobden]], letter to Joseph Sturge (September 29, 1852), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=i5u1P0Fq4GYC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=0307594084&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwj17N6CovLcAhUPUt8KHTa1CrgQ6AEIKDAA#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Gettysburg: The Last Invasion''] (2013), by [[Allen C. Guelzo]], p. xviii.

* America and the other liberal societies of the world are generally redeemable places, worthy of defense. They may be [[Decadence|decadent]], but they are not evil. And the defense of America and its allies requires tremendous power: military power, economic power, and political power. America has a moral responsibility to be powerful, and the preservation of American power requires competitive success in the modern economic and geopolitical world. This may be harsh and unpleasant; living well as a nation with such competitive pressures may partially diminish the very lives that the perpetuation of such power exists to protect. But this is [[Reality|reality.]]
** Eric Cohen, [http://www.weeklystandard.com/a-crisis-of-liberalism/article/2011885#.WqQP_v7X3Us.twitter &quot;A Crisis of Liberalism?&quot;] (March 9, 2018), ''The Weekly Standard''

*If the [[U.S. government]] had prosecuted [[W:George W. Bush|Bush administration]] officials for their [[war crimes]] during the “war on terror,” the [[ICC]] would not now take jurisdiction. But after [[Barack Obama]]  said, “Generally speaking, I’m more interested in looking forward than I am in looking backwards,” his administration refused to prosecute those implicated in the [[torture]] and willful killings of detainees during the Bush administration.
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/team-trump-tried-to-bully-the-icc-into-dropping-war-crimes-probe-but-failed/ Team Trump Tried to Bully the ICC Into Dropping War Crimes Probe But Failed, by Marjorie Cohn,  ''Truthout''] (10 March 2020)

*After the prosecutor of the [[International Criminal Court]] (ICC) found a reasonable basis to believe that U.S. military and CIA leaders committed [[war crimes]] and [[crimes against humanity]] in Afghanistan, Team Trump threatened to ban ICC judges and prosecutors from the U.S. and warned it would impose [[w:economic sanctions|economic sanctions]] on the Court if it launched an investigation... &lt;BR&gt;Once again, the Trump administration is threatening the International Criminal Court. Following the Appeals Chamber’s decision, [[Mike Pompeo|Secretary of State Mike Pompeo]] declared, “This is a truly breathtaking action by an unaccountable political institution, masquerading as a legal body.” He added, “The United States is not a party to the ICC, and we will take all necessary measures to protect our citizens from this renegade, so-called court.”  Pompeo is likely referring to the [[w:American Service-Members’ Protection Act|American Service-Members’ Protection Act]]... it says that if a U.S. or allied national is detained by the ICC, the U.S. military can use armed force to extricate the individual. Although this provision has not yet been utilized, the potential for its use is frightening.   
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/team-trump-tried-to-bully-the-icc-into-dropping-war-crimes-probe-but-failed/ Team Trump Tried to Bully the ICC Into Dropping War Crimes Probe But Failed, by Marjorie Cohn,  ''Truthout''] (10 March 2020)

*The impunity that U.S. officials have enjoyed for their [[International Criminal Court|international crimes]] may finally be coming to an end... Responding to [[Mike Pompeo|Pompeo]]’s [[threats]]... “No one except the world’s most brutal regimes win when the United States tries to impugn and sabotage international institutions established to hold human rights abusers accountable...  Countries must fully cooperate with this investigation and not submit to any authoritarian tactics by the Trump administration to sabotage it,” [[w: Jamil Dakwar|Jamil Dakwar]], director of the [[ACLU]]’s [[Human Rights]] Project, said.    
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/team-trump-tried-to-bully-the-icc-into-dropping-war-crimes-probe-but-failed/ Team Trump Tried to Bully the ICC Into Dropping War Crimes Probe But Failed, by Marjorie Cohn,  ''Truthout''] (10 March 2020)

*The Trump administration is seeking extradition of [[WikiLeaks]] founder [[Julian Assange]] to the United States for trial on charges carrying 175 years in prison... The treaty between the U.S. and the U.K. prohibits extradition for a “political offense.”  Assange was indicted for exposing U.S. [[war crimes]] in Iraq and Afghanistan. That is a classic political offense. Moreover, Assange’s extradition would violate the legal prohibition against sending a person to a country where he is in danger of being tortured.
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/extradition-of-assange-would-set-a-dangerous-precedent/ Extradition of Assange Would Set a Dangerous Precedent, Marjorie Cohn, ''Truthout''] (17 February 2020)

*[[WikiLeaks]]... published nearly 400,000 field reports about the [[Iraq War]], which contained evidence of U.S. [[war crimes]], over 15,000 previously unreported deaths of Iraqi civilians, and the systematic murder, torture, rape and abuse by the Iraqi army and authorities that were ignored by U.S. forces.&lt;BR&gt; In addition, WikiLeaks published the [[W:Guantánamo Files|Guantánamo Files]], 779 secret reports that revealed the U.S. government’s systematic violation of the [[W:Geneva Conventions|Geneva Conventions]] and the [[w:United Nations Convention against Torture|Convention Against Torture]] and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, by abusing nearly 800 men and boys, ages 14 to 89.&lt;BR&gt;One of the most notorious releases by WikiLeaks was the 2007 “[[w:Collateral Murder|Collateral Murder]]” video, which showed a U.S. Army Apache helicopter target and [[murder|fire on]] unarmed civilians in Baghdad. More than 12 civilians were killed, including two Reuters reporters and a man who came to rescue the wounded. Two children were injured. Then a U.S. Army tank drove over one of the bodies, severing it in half. Those acts constitute three separate [[war crimes]] prohibited by the [[W:Geneva Conventions|Geneva Conventions]] and the [[W:U.S. Army Field Manual|U.S. Army Field Manual]].
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/extradition-of-assange-would-set-a-dangerous-precedent/ Extradition of Assange Would Set a Dangerous Precedent, Marjorie Cohn, ''Truthout''] (17 February 2020)
 
*At the March 15 debate with [[Joe Biden|Biden]], [[Bernie Sanders|Sanders]] asked the rhetorical question: Where is the power in America?...“Who owns the media? Who owns the economy? Who owns the legislative process? Why do we give tax breaks to billionaires and not raise the minimum wage? Why do we pump up the oil industry while a half a million people are homeless in America?”   Sanders criticized the bipartisan $8.3 billion coronavirus spending bill... the exemptions disproportionately hurt low-wage workers... contain no limits on the ability of the pharmaceutical companies to profit from the coronavirus...  &lt;BR&gt;the United States...  officials are being investigated by the [[International Criminal Court]] for committing [[war crimes]] and [[crimes against humanity]] during the [[War on Terror|“war on terror.”]] Biden, who was instrumental in securing congressional approval for Bush’s Iraq War, will be a good steward of the empire.
**[[Marjorie Cohn]], [https://truthout.org/articles/is-the-dnc-once-again-orchestrating-the-defeat-of-a-socialist-candidate/ Is the DNC Once Again Orchestrating the Defeat of a Socialist Candidate?, Marjorie Cohn, ''Truthout''] (16 March 2020)

* Washington made it clear that a person did not have to be of a certain religion or have a particular ethnic background to be an American patriot.
** Craig Considine, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/craig-considine/the-difference-between-an_1_b_8257506.html ''Saluting Muslim American Patriots''].

* Both Presidents [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] sent [[w:National Guard|National Guard]] troops to the border when they were in the [[w:White House|White House]]. And throughout the history of the borderlands, the [[military]] or armed [[w:militias|militias]] have been dispatched there to keep [[w:Black people|black]] [[slaves]] from fleeing, remove [[Native Americans]] from [[w:Ancestral lands|ancestral lands]] and suppress [[Mexican]]-[[American]] revolts stemming from [[anger]] over white mob [[violence]].
* Congress created the [[w:U.S. Border Patrol|U.S. Border Patrol]] in 1924 and the agency slowly grew in size as its mission changed. At first, the agents sought to keep out [[Asian]] immigrants and later worked to stall [[alcohol]] trafficking in the [[w:Prohibition in the United States|Prohibition]] era. Slowly, it evolved into stalling unwanted [[migration]] from Mexico.
** Russell Contreras, ''Associated Press''; [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/why-u-s-militarization-of-border-isnt-new “Why U.S. militarization of border isn’t new”], ''News Hour'', ''PBS'', (Apr 5, 2018).

* July 4, 1776 was the historic day on which the representatives of three millions of people vocalized [[w:Battles of Lexington and Concord|Concord and Lexington]], and [[w:Battle of Bunker Hill|Bunker Hill]], which gave notice to the world that they proposed to establish an independent nation on the theory that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]], that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The wonder and glory of the American people is not the ringing Declaration of that day, but the action then already begun, and in the process of being carried out, in spite of every obstacle that war could interpose, making the theory of freedom and equality a [[reality]]. We revere that day because it marks the beginnings of independence, the beginnings of a constitution that was finally to give universal freedom and equality to all American citizens — the beginnings of a government that was to recognize beyond all others the power and worth and dignity of man.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], ''[[s:Equal Rights|Equal Rights]]'' (1920).

* The doctrine of the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]] predicated upon the glory of man and the corresponding duty to society that the rights of citizens ought to be protected with every power and resource of the state, and a government that does any less is false to the teachings of that great document. False to the name 'American'. The assertion of human rights is not but a call of human sacrifice. This is yet the spirit of the American people. Only so long as this flame burns shall we endure, and the light of liberty be shed over the nations of the earth... When the people of the colonies were defending their liberties against the might of kings, they chose their banner from the design set in the firmament through all eternity. The flags of great [[Empire|empires]] of that day have gone, but the stars and stripes remain. It pictures a vision of a people whose eyes are turned to the rising dawn. It represents of the hope of a father for his posterity. It was never flaunted for the glory of [[Monarchy|royalty]], but to be born under it is to be the child of a king, and to establish a home under it is to be the founder of a royal house. Alone of all flags, it expresses the sovereignty of the people which endures when all else passes away. Speaking with their voice, it has the sanctity of revelations. He who lives under it and disloyal to it is a traitor to the human race everywhere. What could be saved if the flag of the American nation were to perish?
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], ''[[s:America and the War|America and the War]]'' (1920).

* The meaning of America is a power which cannot be overcome.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [[s:Law and Order|''Law and Order'']] (1920).

* To live under the [[w:United States|American]] [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] is the greatest political privilege that was ever accorded to the human race.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], message to the National Security League in honor of Constitution Day, as quoted in ''The New York Times'' (September 17, 1923) &quot;Ceremonies Mark Constitution Day&quot;.

* Numbered among our population are some 12,000,000 colored people. Under our [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] their rights are just as sacred as those of any other citizen. It is both a public and a private duty to protect those rights.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [[s:Calvin Coolidge's First State of the Union Address|State of the Union Address]] (December 6, 1923).

* In the case of a people which represents many nations, cultures, and races, as does our own, a unification of interests and ideals in recreations is bound to wield a telling influence for solidarity of the entire population. No more truly democratic force can be set off against the tendency to class and caste than the democracy of individual parts and prowess in [[Sports|sport]].
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''The Democracy of Sports''] (22 May 1924), National Conference on Outdoor Recreation, Washington, D.C. 

* American citizenship is a high estate. He who holds it is the peer of kings. It has been secured only by untold toil and effort. It will be maintained by no other method. It demands the best that men and women have to give, but it likewise awards to its partakers the best that there is on earth. To attempt to turn it into a thing of ease and inaction would be only to debase it. To cease to struggle and toil and sacrifice for it is not only to cease to be worthy of it but is to start a retreat toward barbarism. No matter what others may say, no matter what others may do, this is the stand that those must maintain who are worthy to be called Americans.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Freedom and its Obligations''] (30 May 1924), Arlington County, Virginia.

* The accomplishments of the colored people in the United States, in the brief historic period since they were brought here from the restrictions of their native continent, can not but make us realize that there is something essential in our civilization which gives it a special power... The progress of the colored people on this continent is one of the marvels of modern history. We are perhaps even yet too near to this phenomenon to be able fully to appreciate its significance. That can be impressed on us only as we study and contrast the rapid advancement of the colored people in America with the slow and painful upward movement of humanity as a whole throughout the long human story... The Nation has need of all that can be contributed to it through the best efforts of all its citizens. The colored people have repeatedly proved their devotion to the high ideals of our country. They gave their services in the war with the same [[patriotism]] and readiness that other citizens did. The records of the selective draft show that somewhat more than 2,250,000 colored men were registered. The records further prove that, far from seeking to avoid participation in the national defense, they showed that they wished to enlist before the selective service act was put into operation, and they did not attempt to evade that act afterwards.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

* The Negro community of America has already so far progressed that its members can be assured that their future is in their own hands. Racial hostility, ancient tradition, and social prejudice are not to be eliminated immediately or easily, but they will be lessened as the colored people by their own efforts and under their own leaders shall prove worthy of the fullest measure of opportunity... The [[Bigotry|propaganda of prejudice and hatred]] which sought to keep the colored men from supporting the national cause completely failed. The black man showed himself the same kind of citizen, moved by the same kind of [[patriotism]], as the white man. They were tempted, but not one betrayed [[w:United States|his country]]. Among well-nigh 400,000 colored men who were taken into the military service, about one-half had overseas experience. They came home with many decorations and their conduct repeatedly won high commendation from both American and European commanders... No part of the community responded more willingly, more generously, more unqualifiedly, to the demand for special extraordinary exertion, than did the members of the Negro race. Whether in the military service, or in the vast mobilization of industrial resources which the war required, the Negro did his part precisely as did the white man. He drew no color line when patriotism made its call upon him. He gave precisely as his white fellow citizens gave, to the limit of resources and abilities, to help the general cause. Thus the American Negro established his right to the gratitude and appreciation which the Nation has been glad to accord.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt commencement address at Howard University] (6 June 1924), Washington, D.C.

* During [[World War I|the war]] 500,000 colored men and boys were called up under the draft, not one of whom sought to evade it. They took their places wherever assigned in defense of [[w:United States|the nation of which they are just as truly citizens as are any others]]. The suggestion of denying any measure of their full political rights to such a great group of our population as the colored people is one which, however it might be received in some other quarters, could not possibly be permitted by one who feels a responsibility for living up to the traditions and maintaining the principles of the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]. [[United States Constitution|Our Constitution]] guarantees equal rights to all our citizens, without discrimination on account of race or color. I have taken my oath to support that Constitution. It is the source of your rights and my rights. I propose to regard it, and administer it, as the source of the rights of all the people, whatever their belief or race.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt letter to Charles F. Gardner] (9 August 1924).

* I believe in the [[United States Constitution|American Constitution]]. I favor the American system of individual enterprise, and I am opposed to any general extension of government ownership, and control. I believe not only in advocating economy in public expenditure, but in its practical application and actual accomplishment. I believe in a reduction and reform of taxation, and shall continue my efforts in that direction.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], formal acceptance speech of the Republican Party's nomination for President (14 August 1924), as quoted in ''Coolidge: An American Enigma'' (1998), by Robert Sobel, Regnery Publishing, p. 292.&lt;!--&lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0895264102}}, 9780895264107&lt;/small&gt;--&gt;

* If the Constitution of the United States be tyranny; if the rule that no one shall be convicted of a crime save by a jury of his peers; that no orders of nobility shall be granted; that slavery shall not be permitted to exist in any state or territory; that no one shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law; if these and many other provisions made by the people be tyranny, then the Supreme Court when it makes decisions in accordance with these principles of our fundamental law is tyrannical. Otherwise it is exercising the power of government for the preservation of liberty. The fact is that the Constitution is the source of our freedom. Maintaining it, interpreting it, and declaring it, are the only methods by which the Constitution can be preserved and our liberties guaranteed... America is a large country. It is a tolerant country. It has room within its borders for many races and many creeds.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Ordered Liberty and World Peace''] (6 September 1924), Baltimore, Maryland.

* Our American government was the result of an effort to establish institutions under which the people as a whole should have the largest possible advantages. Class and privilege were outlawed, freedom and opportunity were guaranteed. They undertook to provide conditions under which service would be adequately rewarded, and where the people would own their own property and control their own government. They had no other motive. They were actuated by no other purpose. If we are to maintain what they established, it is important to understand the foundation on which they built, and the claims by which they justified the sovereign rights and royal estate of every American citizen... Our inhabitants are especially free to promote their own welfare. They are unburdened by militarism. They are not called upon to support any imperialistic designs. Every mother can rest in the assurance that her children will find here a land of devotion, prosperity and peace. The tall shaft near which we are gathered and yonder stately memorial remind us that our standards of manhood are revealed in the adoration which we pay to Washington and [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]. They are unrivaled and unsurpassed. Above all else, they are Americans.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Authority and Religious Liberty''] (21 September 1924), Holy Name Society, Washington, D.C.

* It is a truism, of course, but it is none the less a fact which we must never forget, that this continent and this American community have been blessed with an unparalleled capacity for assimilating peoples of varying races and nations. The continuing migration which in three centuries has established here this nation of more than a hundred million, has been the greatest that history records as taking place in any such brief period. Viewing it historically, we find that the migration to [[w:United States|America]] was little more than a westward projection of the series of great movements of peoples... It was the fate of [[Europe]] to be always a battleground. Differences in race, in religion, in political genius and social ideals, seemed always, in the atmosphere of our mother continent, to be invitations to contest by battle. From the dawn of history, and we can only conjecture how much longer, the conflicts of races and civilizations, of traditions and usages, have gone on. It is one of the anomalies of the human story that these peoples, who could not be assimilated and unified under the skies of Europe, should on coming to [[w:United States|America]] discover an amazing genius for cooperation, for fusion, and for harmonious effort. Yet they were the same people when they came here that they had been on the other side of the Atlantic. Quite apparently, they found something in our institutions, something in the American system of Government and society which they themselves helped to construct, that furnished to all of them a political and cultural common denominator. 
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''The Genius of America''] (16 October 1924), Washington, D.C.

* Among these I should place, first, the broadly tolerant attitude that has been a characteristic of this country. I use the word in its most inclusive sense, to cover tolerance of religious opinion, tolerance in politics, tolerance in social relationships; in general, the liberal attitude of every citizen toward his fellows. It is this factor which has preserved to all of us that equality of opportunity which enables every American to become the architect of whatever fortune he deserves... As a nation, our first duty must be to those who are already our inhabitants, whether native or immigrants. To them we owe an especial and a weighty obligation. They came to us with stout hearts and high hopes of bettering their estate. They have contributed much to making our country what it is. They magnificently proved their loyalty by contributing their full part when the war made demand for sacrifices by all Americans... It must be the hope of every American citizen to maintain here as a permanent establishment, and as a perpetual inheritance for Americans of the future, the full measure of benefits and advantages which our people have been privileged to enjoy.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''The Genius of America''] (16 October 1924), Washington, D.C.

* There is abundant room here for the preservation and development of the many divergent virtues that are characteristic of the different races which have made America their home. They ought to cling to all these virtues and cultivate them tenaciously... I know that there is no better American spirit than that which is exhibited by many of those who have recently come to our shores... Let us keep our desire to help other lands as a great and broad principle, not to help in one place and do harm in another, but to render assistance everywhere. Let us remember also that the best method of promoting this action is by giving undivided allegiance to [[w:United States|America]], maintaining its institutions, supporting its Government, and, by leaving it internally harmonious, making it eternally powerful in promoting a reign of justice and mercy throughout the earth... The spirit of America is to help everybody and injure nobody. We can be in a position to help only by unifying the American nation, building it up, making it strong, keeping it independent, using its inclination to help and its disclination to injure. Those who cast in their lot with this country can be true to the land of their origin only by first being true to [[w:United States|America]].
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''The Genius of America''] (16 October 1924), Washington, D.C.

* After all, the chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world... The chief ideal of the American people is idealism. I cannot repeat too often that America is a nation of idealists. That is the only motive to which they ever give any strong and lasting reaction. 
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt speech to the] [[w:American Society of Newspaper Editors|American Society of Newspaper Editors]] (17 January 1925), Washington.

* Our people were influenced by many motives to undertake to carry on this gigantic conflict, but we went in and came out singularly free from those questionable causes and results which have often characterized other wars. We were not moved by the age-old antagonisms of racial jealousies and hatreds. We were not seeking to gratify the ambitions of any reigning dynasty. We were not inspired by trade and commercial rivalries. We harbored no imperialistic designs. We feared no other country. We coveted no territory... Though of many different nationalities, our people had a spiritual bond. They were all Americans... All the races, religions, and nationalities of the world were represented in the [[United States Armed Forces|armed forces of this nation]], as they were in the body of our population. No man's patriotism was impugned or service questioned because of his racial origin, his political opinion, or his religious convictions. Immigrants and sons of immigrants from the central European countries fought side by side with those who descended from the countries which were our allies, with the sons of equatorial Africa, and with the red men of our own aboriginal population, all of them equally proud of the name Americans.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Toleration and Liberalism''] (6 October 1925), American Legion Convention, Omaha, Nebraska.

* If we are to have that [[harmony]] and [[tranquility]], that union of [[spirit]] which is the foundation of real national genius and national progress, we must all realize that there are true Americans who did not happen to be born in our section of the country, who do not attend our place of religious worship, who are not of our racial stock, or who are not proficient in our language. If we are to create on this continent a free Republic and an enlightened civilization that will be capable of reflecting the true greatness and glory of mankind, it will be necessary to regard these differences as accidental and unessential. We shall have to look beyond the outward manifestations of race and creed. Divine Providence has not bestowed upon any race a monopoly of patriotism and character. The same principle that it is necessary to apply to the attitude of mind among our own people it is also necessary to apply to the attitude of mind among the different nations.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Toleration and Liberalism''] (6 October 1925), American Legion Convention, Omaha, Nebraska.

* The generally expressed desire of [[American exceptionalism|'America first']] can not be criticized. It is a perfectly correct aspiration for our people to cherish. But the problem which we have to solve is how to make America first. It can not be done by the cultivation of national [[bigotry]], arrogance, or selfishness. Hatreds, jealousies, and suspicions will not be productive of any benefits in this direction. Here again we must apply the rule of [[Tolerance|toleration]]. Because there are other peoples whose ways are not our ways, and whose thoughts are not our thoughts, we are not warranted in drawing the conclusion that they are adding nothing to the sum of civilization. We can make little contribution to the welfare of humanity on [[Bigotry|the theory that we are a superior people and all others are an inferior people]]... We can only make America first in the true sense which that means by cultivating a spirit of friendship and good will, by the exercise of the virtues of patience and forbearance, by being 'plenteous in mercy', and through progress at home and helpfulness abroad standing as an example of real [[service]] to humanity. 
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Toleration and Liberalism''] (6 October 1925), American Legion Convention, Omaha, Nebraska.

* America at least has demonstrated that republics are not ungrateful. It is one of the glories of our country that so long as we remain faithful to the cause of justice and truth and liberty, this action will continue. We have waged no wars to determine a succession, establish a dynasty, or glorify a reigning house. Our military operations have been for the service of the cause of humanity. The principles on which they have been fought have more and more come to be accepted as the ultimate standards of the world. They have been of an enduring substance, which is not weakened but only strengthened by the passage of time and the contemplation of reason.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Ways to Peace''] (31 May 1926), Arlington.

* Our experience in that respect ought not to lead us too hastily to assume that we have been therefore better than other people, but certainly we have been more fortunate. We came on the stage at a later time, so that this country had presented to it, already attained, a civilization that other countries had secured only as a result of a long and painful struggle. Of the various races of which we are composed, substantially all have a history for making warfare which is oftentimes hard to justify, as they have come up through various degrees of development. They bore this burden in ages past in order that this country might be freed from it. Under the circumstances it behooves us to look on their record of advance through great difficulties with much compassion and be thankful that we have been spared from a like experience, and out of our compassion and our thankfulness constantly to remember that because of greater advantages and opportunities we are charged with superior duties and obligations. Perhaps no country on earth has greater responsibilities than [[w:United States|America]].
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Ways to Peace''] (31 May 1926), Arlington.

* We are situated differently in this respect from any other country. All the other great powers have a comparatively homogeneous population, close kindred in race and blood and speech, and commonly little divided in religious beliefs. Our great nation is made up of the strong and virile pioneering stock of nearly all the countries of the world. We have a variety of race and language and religious belief.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Ways to Peace''] (31 May 1926), Arlington.

* Yet in time of stress and public agitation we have too great a tendency to disregard this policy and indulge in race hatred, religious intolerance, and disregard of equal rights. Such sentiments are bound to react upon those who harbor them. Instead of being a benefit they are a positive injury. We do not have to examine history very far before we see whole countries that have been blighted, whole civilizations that have been shattered by a spirit of intolerance. They are destructive of order and progress at home and a danger to peace and good will abroad. No better example exists of toleration than that which is exhibited by those who wore the blue toward those who wore the gray. Our condition today is not merely that of one people under one flag, but of a thoroughly united people who have seen bitterness and enmity which once threatened to sever them pass away, and a spirit of kindness and good will reign over them all.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [https://archive.org/stream/foundationsofrep00unit/foundationsofrep00unit_djvu.txt ''Ways to Peace''] (31 May 1926), Arlington.

* People have marveled at the growth and strength of America. They have wondered how a few weak and discordant colonies were able to win their independence from one of the greatest powers of the world. They have been amazed at our genius for self-government. They have been unable to comprehend how the shock of a great Civil War did not destroy our Union. They do not understand the economic progress of our people. It is true that we have had the advantage of great natural resources, but those have not been exclusively ours. Others have been equally fortunate in that direction. The progress of America has been due to the spirit of the people. It is in no small degree due to that spirit that we have been able to produce such great leaders.
** [[Calvin Coolidge]], [http://grandoldpartisan.typepad.com/blog/2015/08/mount-rushmore-speech.html address at the Black Hills] (10 August 1927).

*You in America are born and brought up in a country which is so [[materialistic]] in its outlook that [[complacency]] is the inevitable result. You are so educated at school and by the media that America becomes the limit of your seeing, your imagination, your sense of the world.... You have a powerful media service which day after day puts that which is happening in America at the forefront of your consciousness. At school in America you are brought up to salute the flag everyday. This does not happen everywhere. You would not get the national flag saluted by many school children. They would think you were daft. Yet you take it for granted. Also America is so rich compared with many countries that you easily feel in its materialistic atmosphere that you are all right and do not have to think about those abroad. As a young country, you also believe that people have to stand on their own feet and make of life what they can. There is much truth in this but carried to excess it leads to the complacency that threatens world peace. America brings together a bit of Europe, just lifted over the seas — British, French, Dutch, German, Scandinavian, Spanish — and others from other parts of the world, Africans brought in as slaves. You get a melange which is unique, but it is a part of a Plan. You are part of a Plan. You are all here for a purpose 
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

*You are here because there are three great experiments being carried out in the world — one here in America, one in Russia, and one in Britain. Here the experiment is to bring together these people, not from all over the world, but from Europe mainly. With a few exceptions they are brought into this big melting pot and allowed to melt together and to become whatever they become. You might have started off as half-Swedish and half-Scottish, and you end up after a few generations being partly Swedish, partly Scottish, partly Iranian or We always put it into these specified local, not global, interests.  There is no such thing as specifically American, Russian, or British interests. There are world interests, human interests, and unless these are solved, there will be no humans in the world. That is what we have to grasp.... That is the soul talking. That is how the soul sees the world. p. 64
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

* God's blessing has been on America from the very beginning of this nation, and I believe God isn't done with America yet. I believe in you. I believe in the power of millions... Reignite the promise of America... It is a time for truth. It is a time for liberty. It is a time to reclaim the Constitution of the United States.
** [[Ted Cruz]], presidential declaration speech, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ted-cruz-declaration-speech-full-transcript-10128614.html Ted Cruz declaration speech: Full transcript], as quoted in ''Independent.co.uk'' (23 March 2015).

* Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty species, most of them deadly, and Europe has only five or six, none of them much good. We have fifteen kinds of Rattlesnakes alone and nobody else has even one. There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from the United States.
** [[w:Will Cuppy|Will Cuppy]], as quoted in ''[[w:How to Become Extinct|How to Become Extinct]]'' (1941).

* There was not in all the colonial legislation of America one single law which recognized the rightfulness of slavery in the abstract; that in 1774 Virginia stigmatized the slave-trade as 'wicked, cruel, and unnatural'; that in the same year Congress protested against it 'under the sacred ties of virtue, honor, and love of country'; that in 1775 the same Congress denied that God intended one man to own another as a slave; that the new Discipline of the Methodist Church, in 1784, and the Pastoral Letter of the Presbyterian Church, in 1788, denounced slavery; that abolition societies existed in slave States, and that it was hardly the interest even of the cotton-growing States, where it took a slave a day to clean a pound of cotton, to uphold the system... Jefferson, in his address to the Virginia Legislature of 1774, says that 'the abolition of domestic slavery is the greatest object of desire in these colonies, where it was unhappily introduced in their infant state'; and while he constantly remembers to remind us that the Jeffersonian prohibition of slavery in the territories was lost in 1784, he forgets to add that it was lost, not by a majority of votes — for there were sixteen in its favor to seven against it — but because the sixteen votes did not represent two thirds of the States; and he also incessantly forgets to tell us that this Jeffersonian prohibition was restored by the Congress of 1785, and erected into the famous [[w:Northwest Ordinance|Northwest Ordinance]] of 1787, which was re-enacted by the first Congress of the United States and approved by the first President.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Present Aspect of the Slavery Question&quot;] (18 October 1859), New York City.

* Let it never be forgotten that the cause of [[w:United States|the United States]] is the cause of human nature, not of white men nor black men nor red men nor brown men, but of man, of mankind... The Constitution of the [[w:United States|United States]], in its essential spirit and intention, recognizes the essential manhood of [[w:Dred Scott|Dred Scott]] as absolutely as it does that of the President, of the Chief Justice, or of any Senator of the [[w:United States|United States]].
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Present Aspect of the Slavery Question&quot;] (18 October 1859), New York City.

* There is no gentleman in America, but he who feels that every man is his equal in natural right, and who does not know that he is cheated if every man does not have fair play... [[Abraham Lincoln|The truest American president we have ever had]], the companion of Washington in our love and honor, recognized that the poorest man, however outraged, however ignorant, however despised, however black, was, as a man, his equal. The child of the American people was their most prophetic man, because, whether as small shop-keeper, as flat-boatman, as volunteer captain, as honest lawyer, as defender of the Declaration, as President of the United States, he knew by the profoundest instinct and the widest experience and reflection, that in the most vital faith of this country it is just as honorable for an honest man to curry a horse and black a boot as it is to raise cotton or corn, to sell molasses or cloth, to practice medicine or law, to gamble in stocks or speculate in petroleum. He knew the European doctrine that the king makes the gentleman; but he believed with his whole soul the doctrine, the American doctrine, that worth makes the man.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

* We have shown, first, that a popular government, under which the poorest and the most ignorant of every race but one are equal voters with the richest and most intelligent, is the most powerful and flexible in history. It is proved to be neither violent nor cruel nor impatient, but fixed in purpose, faithful to its own officers, tolerant of vast expense, of enormous losses, of torturing delays, and strongest at the very points where fatal weakness was most suspected... I am no more a child, but a man; no longer a confederacy, but a nation. I am no more [[Virginia]], [[New York]], Carolina, or Massachusetts, but the United States of America.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

* The spirit of caste, if naturally more malignant in a region where personal slavery has been abolished against the will of the dominant class, is not confined to it. We are apt to draw the line geographically, but it will not run so. They may be sad goats on the other side of the line, but we sheep may find an occasional speck in our virtuous wool. 'Caste must be maintained', say the governors and legislatures of Mississippi and Louisiana and Alabama and North and South Carolina and Georgia.' 'Amen', says Connecticut, 'that is a political wooden nutmeg for this market'. 'Amen', says New York, which prefers to pour political power into a foreign white whiskey-skin rather than into a native sound and serviceable vessel of a darker hue. 'Amen', says Indiana, which asks her colored children to fight and die for her upon the battle-field, and refuses by her laws to permit the survivors to return to their homes. 'Amen', say Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Illinois, Michigan, Iowa, California, Minnesota, Oregon, Kansas, Ohio, Wisconsin, Missouri, and West Virginia, which forbid an entire class of their citizens to vote upon equal qualifications with others. And why? Because the party of hostility to human rights, which is 'conservative' in this growing, aspiring, expanding country, exactly as sheet-iron swaddling-clothes are conservative of a new-born babe, pursued by the pitiless logic of the sublime American principle and driven from one absurdity to another, now claims that ours is 'a white man's government'. Oh, no! Gentlemen, you may wish to make it so, but it was not made so. The false history of Judge Taney was promptly corrected from Judge Taney's bench by Justice Curtis.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

* The United States was made by men of all races and colors, not for white men, but for the refuge and defense of ''[[man]]''. If it does not rest upon the natural rights of man, it rests nowhere. If it does not exist by the consent of governed then any exclusion is possible, and it is a shorter step from an exclusive white man's government to an exclusively ''[[rich]]'' white man's government, than it is from a system for mankind to one for white men. The spirit which excludes some men today because they are of a certain color, may exclude others tomorrow because they are of a certain poverty or a certain church or a certain birthplace. There is no safety, no guarantee, no security in a prejudice. If we build strong and long, we must build upon moral principle. 
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

* Inferior race? Was it they who carved the skulls of our boys into drinking, cups and their bones into trinkets? Was it they who starved and froze our brothers into idiocy and madness at Andersonville and Belle-Isle? Was it they who hunted our darlings with bloodhounds, or hung faithful Union men before the very eyes of their wives and children? Come! Come! Brothers of my race, whether at the north or south, these things which we all execrate and abhor were the work of men of our own color. Let us clasp hands in speechless shame, and confess that manhood in America is to be measured not by the color of the skin, but by the quality of the soul... Never fear, true hearts! A people which has shown the quality of its genius as this nation has in the last four years will finish its work. It will go forward and not backward. For our America shall be the Sinai of the nations, and from the terrible thunders and lightnings of its great struggle shall proceed the divine law of liberty that shall subdue and harmonize the world.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

* As to the doctrine of [[slavery]] and the right of [[Christianity|Christians]] to hold [[Africa]]ns [[Slavery|in perpetual servitude]], and sell and treat them as we do our horses and cattle, that, it is true, has been heretofore countenanced by the Province Laws formerly, but nowhere is it expressly enacted or established. It has been a usage, a usage which took its origin from the practice of some of the [[Europe]]an nations, and the regulations of [[Great Britain|British]] government respecting the then-colonies, for the benefit of trade and wealth. But whatever sentiments have formerly prevailed in this particular or slid in upon us by the example of others, a different idea has taken place with the people of [[w:United States|America]], more favorable to the natural rights of mankind, and to that natural, innate desire of [[liberty]], with which Heaven, without regard to color, complexion, or shape of noses-features, has inspired all the human race. And upon this ground our constitution of government, by which the people of [[w:Massachusetts|this Commonwealth]] have solemnly bound themselves, sets out with declaring that all men are born free and equal, and that every subject is entitled to liberty, and to have it guarded by the laws, as well as life and property, and in short is totally repugnant to the idea of being born slaves. This being the case, I think the idea of [[slavery]] is inconsistent with our own conduct and constitution; and there can be no such thing as perpetual servitude of a rational creature, unless his liberty is forfeited by some criminal conduct or given up by personal consent or contract.
** [[w:William Cushing|William Cushing]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040128112051/http://www.slavenorth.com/massemancip.htm ''Commonwealth of Massachusetts v. Jennison''] (1783).

==D==
[[File:David Dellinger mug shot.jpg|thumb|right|The prejudices of patriotism, the pressures of our friends and fear of unpopularity and death should not hold us back any longer. It should be total war against the economic and political and social system which is dominant in this country. The American system has been destroying human life in peace and in war, at home and abroad for decades. Now it has produced the growing infamy of atom bombing. Besides these brutal facts, the tidbits of democracy mean nothing. Henceforth, no decent citizen owes one scrap of allegiance (if he ever did) to American law, American custom or American institutions. ~ [[David Dellinger]]]]
[[File:U.S. Women's Soccer team in Vancouver with Consul General Anne Callaghan.jpg|thumb|That American spirit; it's that non-wilting behavior. ~ [[w:Michael Davies (television producer)|Michael Davies]]]]
[[File:United_States_Constitution.jpg|thumb|We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ~ [[The Declaration of Independence]].]]
[[File:Arms_of_the_United_States_of_America_(1864),_by_Joseph_E._Baker.png|thumb|Equality is one of the main principles of the American. ~ Jimmy Dick]]

[[File:USA-Arlington National Cemetery0.jpg|thumb|If the American name is no longer a by-word and a hissing to a mocking earth, if the star-spangled banner floats only over free American citizens in every quarter of the land, and our country has before it a long and glorious career of justice, liberty, and civilization, we are indebted to the unselfish devotion of the noble army who rest in these honored graves all around us. ~ [[Frederick Douglass]]]]
* America's fundamental optimism is what will see it through, while [[Europe]] tears itself apart in moral confusion and historical guilt. The US is a country that (still) knows what it stands for and why it exists, and it will continue to offer that self-belief to the waves of immigrants who arrive, wanting to be free.
** [[w:Janet Daley|Janet Daley]], [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/september-11-attacks/8754523/911-The-dark-day-that-brought-out-the-worst-in-Britain.html &quot;9/11: The dark day that brought out the worst in Britain&quot;] (10 September 2011), ''The Telegraph''

* America is the land of freedom, the land of the life. This is why I came here. Really, I am very thankful. America is the greatest nation, the greatest people in the world.
** Hameed Khalid Darweesh, as quoted in [http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/queens/iraqi-man-free-detainment-jfk-airport-article-1.2958091 &quot;Iraqi man, a former U.S. Army translator, shrugs off 18-hour detainment at JFK Airport after release&quot;] (29 January 2017), ''New York Daily News''

* A global superpower which still plays and feels and behaves like an underdog.
** [[w:Michael Davies (television producer)|Michael Davies]], [http://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts &quot;Men in Blazers: Seth Bladder Special With Bob Ley&quot;] (28 May 2015), ''Men in Blazers''

* That American spirit; it's that non-wilting behavior.
** [[w:Michael Davies (television producer)|Michael Davies]], [http://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts &quot;Men in Blazers: With Matt Lucas&quot;] (9 June 2015), ''Men in Blazers''

* America's nice; it's a lovely place to live. It's a great standard of living. You can get paid pretty well to go and be here.
** [[w:Michael Davies (television producer)|Michael Davies]], [https://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts &quot;USMNT Emergency Pod&quot;] (11 October 2017), ''Men in Blazers''

* We've reached a truly remarkable situation: a grotesque mismatch between the American intelligentsia and the American electorate. A philosophical opinion about the nature of the universe which is held by the vast majority of top American scientists, and probably the majority of the intelligentsia generally, is so abhorrent to the American electorate that no candidate for popular election dare affirm it in public. If I'm right, this means that high office in the greatest country in the world is barred to the very people best qualified to hold it—the intelligentsia—unless they are prepared to lie about their beliefs. To put it bluntly American political opportunities are heavily loaded against those who are simultaneously intelligent and honest.
** [[Richard Dawkins]], [http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_dawkins_on_militant_atheism?language=en On Militant Atheism] (February 2002)

* I have great sympathy with America. It's very, it's very tough to be the only remaining superpower in the world. 
** [[F.W. de Klerk]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20110622073025/http://www.cfr.org/southern-africa/hbo-history-makers-series-frederik-willem-de-klerk/p7114?breadcrumb=%2Fregion%2F151%2Fsouthern_africa Interview with Richard Stengel] (8 June 2004)

* Our country, in her intercourse with foreign nations may she always be in the right, and always successful, right or wrong.
** [[w:Steven Decatur|Steven Decatur]], at a social gathering in (April 1816), as quoted in ''Stephen Decatur American Naval Hero, 1779–1820'' (2005), by Robert J. Allison, University of Massachusetts Press, pp. 183–184

* The metaphor of the melting pot is unfortunate and misleading. A more accurate analogy would be a salad bowl, for, though the salad is an entity, the lettuce can still be distinguished from the chicory, the tomatoes from the cabbage.
** [[w:Carl Neumann Degler|Carl Degler]], ''Out of Our Past: The Forces That Shaped Modern America'' (1970), rev. ed., chapter 10, section 4, p. 296.

*The way of life that destroyed [[Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|Hiroshima and Nagasaki]] and is reported to have roasted alive a million people in Tokyo overnight is international and dominates every nation of the world, but we live in the United States, so our struggle is here. With this way of life, death would be more appropriate. There could be no truce or quarter. The prejudices of patriotism, the pressures of our friends and fear of unpopularity and death should not hold us back any longer. It should be total war against the economic and political and social system which is dominant in this country. The American system has been destroying human life in peace and in war, at home and abroad for decades. Now it has produced the growing infamy of atom bombing. Besides these brutal facts, the tidbits of democracy mean nothing. Henceforth, no decent citizen owes one scrap of allegiance (if he ever did) to American law, American custom or American institutions.
** [[David Dellinger]], &quot;Declaration of War&quot;, ''Revolutionary Nonviolence'' (1970).

* The United States brags about its political system.
** [[Deng Xiaoping|Xiaoping Deng]], as quoted in ''The Pacific Rim and the Western World: Strategic, Economic, and Cultural Perspectives'' (1987), p. 105

* If you hurt my friends, then you hurt my pride. I've got to be a man; I can't let it slide. I am a real American; fight for the rights of every man. I am a real American; fight for what's right. Fight for your life!
** [[w:Rick Derringer|Rick Derringer]], [http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=YMr6JV8FV74#Hulk_Hogan_Theme &quot;Real American&quot;] (1985), ''The Wrestling Album'' (November 1985), World Wrestling Federation

* The declaration was a nice document. Notice the part about all men being equal? Ending slavery was part of fulfilling that document. Therefore the south was blocking the fulfillment of the promises made in the declaration. It is ironic that secessionists want to claim the declaration, yet reject the issue of equality it contains. As we have been finding out, equality is one of the main principles of the [[American Revolution]]. We are still striving to fully realize that promise. The people that advocate secession whether it was in 1860 or today only claim the declaration in an attempt to deny the principles of the American Revolution. It is a big paradox and one the big reasons why secession today will not occur again.
** [[w:Jimmy Dick|Jimmy Dick]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/chat-room/ Chat-Room] (15 February 2014), ''Crossroads''

* Every man must be for [[w:United States|the United States]] or against it. There can be no neutrals.
** [[Stephen A. Douglas]], last public speech before his death (1 May 1861), Chicago, Illinois

* As to nation, I belong to none. I have no protection at home, or resting-place abroad. The land of my birth welcomes me to her shores only as a slave, and spurns with contempt the idea of treating me differently. So that I am an outcast from the society of my childhood, and an outlaw in the land of my birth... In thinking of [[w:United States|America]], I sometimes find myself admiring her bright blue [[sky]] — her grand old woods — her fertile fields — her beautiful rivers — her mighty lakes, and star-crowned mountains. But my rapture is soon checked, my [[joy]] is soon turned to mourning. When I remember that all is cursed with the infernal spirit of slaveholding, robbery and [[wrong]], — when I remember that with the waters of her noblest rivers, the tears of my brethren are borne to the ocean, disregarded and forgotten, and that her most fertile fields drink daily of the warm blood of my outraged sisters, I am filled with unutterable loathing.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://www.yale.edu/glc/archive/1091.htm letter to William Lloyd Garrison] (1 January 1846)

* I make no [[pretension]] to [[patriotism]]. So long as my [[voice]] can be heard on this or the other side of the Atlantic, I will hold up [[w:United States|America]] to the [[lightning]] scorn of [[moral]] indignation. In doing this, I shall feel myself discharging the duty of a true patriot; for he is a [[lover]] of his [[country]] who rebukes and does not excuse its [[sins]]. It is [[righteousness]] that exalteth a [[nation]] while sin is a reproach to any [[people]].
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://www.teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=535 &quot;Love of God, Love of Man, Love of Country&quot;] (24 September 1847), Syracuse, New York.

* The 4th of July is the first great fact in your nation's [[history]] — the very ring-bolt in the chain of your yet undeveloped [[destiny]]. [[Pride]] and [[patriotism]], not less than [[gratitude]], prompt you to celebrate and to hold it in perpetual [[remembrance]]. I have said that the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]] is the ring-bolt to the chain of your nation's destiny; so, indeed, I regard it. The [[principles]] contained in that instrument are saving principles. Stand by those principles, be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [[s:What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?|''What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?'']] (1852).

* The way to abolish slavery in America is to vote such men into power as well use their powers for the abolition of slavery... The Constitution itself. Its language is 'we the people'. Not we the white people, not even we the citizens, not we the privileged class, not we the high, not we the low, but we the people. Not we the horses, sheep, and swine, and wheel-barrows, but we the people, we the human inhabitants. If Negroes are people, they are included in the benefits for which the Constitution of America was ordained and established. But how dare any man who pretends to be a friend to the Negro thus gratuitously concede away what the Negro has a right to claim under the Constitution?
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/the-constitution-of-the-united-states-is-it-pro-slavery-or-anti-slavery/ &quot;The Constitution of the United States: Is It Pro-Slavery or Anti-Slavery?&quot;] (26 March 1860), Glasgow, United Kingdom.

* My argument against the dissolution of [[w:United States|the American Union]] is this. It would place the slave system more exclusively under the control of the slave-holding states, and withdraw it from the power in the northern states which is opposed to slavery. [[Slavery]] is essentially barbarous in its character. It, above all things else, dreads the presence of an advanced civilization. It flourishes best where it meets no reproving frowns, and hears no condemning voices. While in [[w:United States|the Union]] it will meet with both. Its hope of life, in the last resort, is to get out of the Union. I am, therefore, for drawing the bond of the Union more completely under the power of the free states. What they most dread, that I most desire.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/the-constitution-of-the-united-states-is-it-pro-slavery-or-anti-slavery/ ''The Constitution of the United States: Is It Pro-Slavery or Anti-Slavery?''] (26 March 1860), Glasgow, United Kingdom.

* The [[destiny]] of the [[w:African American|colored American]] ... is the destiny of [[w:United States|America]].
** [[Frederick Douglass]], speech at the Emancipation League (12 February 1862), Boston.

* We deem it a settled point that the [[destiny]] of the colored man is bound up with that of the white people of [[w:United States|this country]]. … ''We are here'', and here we are likely to be. To [[imagine]] that we shall ever be eradicated is [[absurd]] and ridiculous. We can be remodified, changed, assimilated, but never extinguished. We repeat, therefore, that we are ''here''; and that this is ''our'' country; and the question for the philosophers and statesmen of the land ought to be, What principles should dictate the policy of the action toward us? We shall neither die out, nor be driven out; but shall go with this people, either as a testimony against them, or as an evidence in their favor throughout their generations.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], essay in ''North Star'' (November 1858); as quoted in ''Faces at the Bottom of the Well: The Permanence of Racism'' (1992) by Derrick Bell, p. 40.

* Ours is a peculiar government, based upon a peculiar idea, and that idea is universal suffrage.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/what-the-black-man-wants/ &quot;What the Black Man Wants&quot;], speech in Boston, Massachusetts (1865).

* It is thought by many, and said by some, that [[w:United States|this republic]] has already seen its best days; that the historian may now write the story of its decline and fall. Two classes of men are just now especially afflicted with such forebodings. The first are those who are croakers by nature. The men who have a taste for funerals, and especially national funerals. They never see the bright side of anything, and probably never will. Like the raven in the lines of Edgar A. Poe, they have learned two words, and those are, 'never more'. They usually begin by telling us what we never shall see.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* I am especially to speak to you of the character and mission of the United States, with special reference to the question whether we are the better or the worse for being composed of different races of men. I propose to consider first, what we are, second, what we are likely to be, and, thirdly, what we ought to be. Without undue vanity or unjust depreciation of others, we may claim to be, in many respects, the most fortunate of nations. We stand in relations to all others, as youth to age. Other nations have had their day of greatness and glory; we are yet to have our day, and that day is coming. The dawn is already upon us. It is bright and full of promise. Other nations have reached their culminating point. We are at the beginning of our ascent. They have apparently exhausted the conditions essential to their further growth and extension, while we are abundant in all the material essential to further national growth and greatness. The resources of European statesmanship are now sorely taxed to maintain their nationalities at their ancient height of greatness and power. American statesmanship, worthy of the name, is now taxing its energies to frame measures to meet the demands of constantly increasing expansion of power, responsibility and duty. Without fault or merit on either side, theirs or ours, the balance is largely in our favor. Like the grand old forests, renewed and enriched from decaying trunks once full of life and beauty, but now moss-covered, oozy and crumbling, we are destined to grow and flourish while they decline and fade. 
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* We have for a long time hesitated to adopt and carry out the only principle which can solve that difficulty and give peace, strength and security to [[w:United States|the republic]], and that is the principle of absolute equality. We are a country of all extremes, ends and opposites. The most conspicuous example of composite nationality in the world. Our people defy all the ethnological and logical classifications. In races we range all the way from black to white, with intermediate shades which, as in the apocalyptic vision, no man can name or number... America is no longer an obscure and inaccessible country. Our ships are in every sea, our commerce is in every port, our language is heard all around the globe, steam and lightning have revolutionized the whole domain of human thought, changed all geographical relations, make a day of the present seem equal to a thousand years of the past, and the continent that Columbus only conjectured four centuries ago is now the center of the world.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* A liberal and brotherly welcome to all who are likely to come to [[w:United States|the United States]] is the only wise policy which [[w:United States|this nation]] can adopt. It has been thoughtfully observed that every nation, owing to its peculiar character and composition, has a definite mission in the world. What that mission is, and what policy is best adapted to assist in its fulfillment, is the business of its people and its statesmen to know, and knowing, to make a noble use of this knowledge. I need not stop here to name or describe the missions of other or more ancient nationalities. Our seems plain and unmistakable. Our geographical position, our relation to the outside world, our fundamental principles of government, world-embracing in their scope and character, our vast resources, requiring all manner of labor to develop them, and our already existing composite population, all conspire to one grand end, and that is, to make us the perfect national illustration of the unity and dignity of the human family that the world has ever seen.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* In whatever else other nations may have been great and grand, our greatness and grandeur will be found in the faithful application of the principle of perfect civil equality to the people of all races and of all creeds. We are not only bound to this position by our organic structure and by our revolutionary antecedents, but by the genius of our people. Gathered here from all quarters of the globe, by a common aspiration for national liberty as against caste, divine right govern and privileged classes, it would be unwise to be found fighting against ourselves and among ourselves, it would be unadvised to attempt to set up any one race above another, or one religion above another, or prescribe any on account of race, color or creed.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* All great qualities are never found in any one man or in any one race. The whole of humanity, like the whole of everything else, is ever greater than a part. Men only know themselves by knowing others, and contact is essential to this knowledge. In one race we perceive the predominance of imagination; in another, like the [[China|Chinese]], we remark its almost total absence. In one people we have the reasoning faculty; in another the genius for music; in another exists courage, in another great physical vigor, and so on through the whole list of human qualities. All are needed to temper, modify, round and complete the whole man and the whole nation. Not the least among the arguments whose consideration should dispose us to welcome among us the peoples of all countries, nationalities and colors, is the fact that all races and varieties of men are improvable. This is the grand distinguishing attribute of humanity, and separates man from all other animals. If it could be shown that any particular race of men are literally incapable of improvement, we might hesitate to welcome them here. But no such men are any where to be found, and if they were, it is not likely that they would ever trouble us with their presence. The fact that the Chinese and other nations desire to come and do come is a proof of their capacity for improvement and of their fitness to come.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* When the architect intends a grand structure, he makes the foundation broad and strong. We should imitate this prudence in laying the foundations of the future republic. There is a law of harmony in all departments of nature. The oak is in the acorn. The career and destiny of individual men are enfolded in the elements of which they are composed. The same is true of a nation. It will be something or it will be nothing. It will be great, or it will be small, according to its own essential qualities. As these are rich and varied, or pure and simple, slender and feeble, broad and strong, so will be the life and destiny of the nation itself. The stream cannot rise higher than its source. The ship cannot sail faster than the wind. The flight of the arrow depends upon the strength and elasticity of the bow, and as with these, so with a nation.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* Reach a degree of civilization higher and grander than any yet attained; we should welcome to our ample continent all the nations, kindreds, tongues and peoples, and as fast as they learn our language and comprehend the duties of citizenship, we should incorporate them into the American body politic. The outspread wings of the American eagle are broad enough to shelter all who are likely to come. As a matter of selfish policy, leaving right and humanity out of the question, we cannot wisely pursue any other course. Other governments mainly depend for security upon the sword; ours depends mainly upon the friendship of the people. In all matters, in time of peace, in time of war, and at all times, it makes its appeal to the people, and to all classes of the people. Its strength lies in their friendship and cheerful support in every time of need, and that policy is a mad one which would reduce the number of its friends by excluding those who would come, or by alienating those who are already here.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* [[w:United States|Our republic]] is itself a strong argument in favor of composite nationality. It is no disparagement to the Americans of English descent to affirm that much of the wealth, leisure, culture, refinement and civilization of the country are due to the arm of the negro and the muscle of the Irishman. Without these, and the wealth created by their sturdy toil, English civilization had still lingered this side of the Alleghanies, and the wolf still be howling on their summits. To no class of our population are we more indebted for valuable qualities of head, heart, and hand, than to the German. Say what we will of their lager, their smoke, and their metaphysics, they have brought to us a fresh, vigorous and child-like nature; a boundless facility in the acquisition of knowledge; a subtle and far-reaching intellect, and a fearless love of truth. Though remarkable for patient and laborious thought, the true German is a joyous child of freedom, fond of manly sports, a lover of music, and a happy man generally. Though he never forgets that he is a German, he never fails to remember that he is an American.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* [[w:United States|We]] shall spread the network of our science and our civilization over all who seek their shelter, whether from Asia, Africa, or the isles of the sea. We shall mold them all, each after his kind, into Americans. Indian and Celt, Negro and Saxon, Latin and Teuton, Mongolian and Caucasian, Jew and gentile, all shall here bow to the same law, speak the same language, support the same government, enjoy the same liberty, vibrate with the same national enthusiasm, and seek the same national ends.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/our-composite-nationality/ ''Our Composite Nationality''] (7 December 1869), Boston, Massachusetts.

* We are not here to applaud manly courage, save as it has been displayed in a noble cause. We must never forget that victory to the rebellion meant death to the republic. We must never forget that the loyal soldiers who rest beneath this sod flung themselves between the nation and [[w:Confederate States of America|the nation destroyers]]. If today we have a country not boiling in an agony of blood, like [[France]], if now we have a united country, no longer cursed by [[Slavery|the hell-black system of human bondage]], if the American name is no longer a by-word and a hissing to a mocking earth, if the star-spangled banner floats only over free American citizens in every quarter of the land, and our country has before it a long and glorious career of justice, liberty, and civilization, we are indebted to the unselfish devotion of the noble army who rest in these honored graves all around us.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://deadconfederates.com/2015/05/25/frederick-douglass-on-decoration-day-1871-5/ &quot;The Unknown Loyal Dead&quot;] (30 May 1871), Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington County, Virginia.

* That we are here in peace today is a compliment and a credit to [[w:United States|American civilization]], and a prophecy of still greater national enlightenment and progress in the future. I refer to the past not in malice, for this is no day for malice, but simply to place more distinctly in front the gratifying and glorious change which has come both to our white fellow citizens and ourselves, and to congratulate all upon the contrast between now and then, the new dispensation of freedom with its thousand blessings to both races, and the old dispensation of slavery with its ten thousand evils to both races, white and black. In view, then, of the past, the present, and the future, with the long and dark history of our bondage behind us, and with liberty, progress, and enlightenment before us, I again congratulate you upon this auspicious day and hour.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/oration-in-memory-of-abraham-lincoln/ ''Oratory in Memory of Abraham Lincoln''] (14 April 1876), Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.

* Social equality does not necessarily follow from civil equality, and yet for the purpose of a hell black and damning prejudice, our papers still insist that the Civil Rights Bill is a Bill to establish social equality. If it is a Bill for social equality, so is the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]], which declares that all men have equal rights; so is the [[w:Sermon on the Mount|Sermon on the Mount]], so is the [[w:Golden Rule|Golden Rule]], that commands us to do to others as we would that others should do to us; so is the Apostolic teaching, that of one blood [[God]] has made all nations to dwell on all the face of the earth; so is the [[United States Constitution|Constitution of the United States]], and so are the laws and customs of every civilized country in the world; for nowhere, outside of the [[w:United States|United States]] is any man denied civil rights on account of his color.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], speech at the Civil Rights Mass-Meeting Held at Lincoln Hall (22 October 1883), as quoted in ''[https://archive.org/stream/lifetimesoffrede1881doug/lifetimesoffrede1881doug_djvu.txt The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass]'' (1881)

* Varieties of the human family appear and disappear, but humanity remains and will remain forever. The American people will one day be truer to this idea. 
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/the-future-of-the-colored-race/ &quot;The Future of the Colored Race&quot;] (May 1886)

* From the first I saw no chance of bettering the condition of the freedman until he should cease to be merely a freedman and should become a citizen. I insisted that there was no safety for him or for anybody else in America outside the American government; that to guard, protect, and maintain his liberty the freedman should have the ballot; that the liberties of the American people were dependent upon the ballot-box, the jury-box, and the cartridge-box; that without these no class of people could live and flourish in this country; and this was now the word for the hour with me, and the word to which the people of the North willingly listened when I spoke. Hence, regarding as I did the elective franchise as the one great power by which all civil rights are obtained, enjoyed, and maintained under our form of government, and the one without which freedom to any class is delusive if not impossible, I set myself to work with whatever force and energy I possessed to secure this power for the recently-emancipated millions.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [http://docsouth.unc.edu/neh/dougl92/dougl92.html ''The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass''] (1892), p. 460

==E==
[[File:K. West.jpg|thumb|Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. ~ [[Albert Einstein]]]]
[[File:Naturalization ceremony at Kennedy Space Center.jpg|thumb|We are, proudly, a people with no sense of class or caste. We judge no man by his name or inheritance, but by what he does, and for what he stands. And so likewise do we judge other nations. The right of no nation depends upon the date of its birth or the size of its power. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:USMC-09611.jpg|thumb|I believe that the United States as a government, if it is going to be true to its own founding documents, does have the job of working toward that time when there is no discrimination made on such inconsequential reason as race, color, or religion. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:Monticello Naturalization Ceremony.jpg|thumb|[[w:United States|We]] are a people born of many peoples. Our culture, our skills, our very aspirations have been shaped by immigrants, and their sons and daughters, from all the Earth. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:Bush-Mbeki.jpg|thumb|As there can be no second class citizens before the law of America, so, we believe, there can be no second-class nations before the law of the world community. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:Nch children parade.jpg|thumb|The proudest human that walks the earth is a free American citizen. ~ [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]]]]
[[File:The United States Women's Soccer Team Ticker-Tape Parade New York City (19585111425).jpg|thumb|America is the land of opportunity. It certainly was for [[w:Jill Ellis|me]]. ~ [[w:Jill Ellis|Jill Ellis]]]]
* [[France]] and America clash so often not because they are so irreconcilably different, but because they are so alike.
** ''[[w:The Economist|The Economist]]'', [http://www.economist.com/node/5323762 &quot;Spot the difference&quot;] (20 December 2005).

* There is enormous elasticity in the American political system... The country has the capacity to deal with what it now faces, both inside and outside its borders.
** [[w:Thomas B. Edsall|Thomas Edsall]], [http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/27/how-much-does-race-still-matter/?_r=0 &quot;How Much Does Race Still Matter?&quot;] (27 February 2013), ''The Washington Post'', Washington, D.C.

*The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
** [[Edward VIII of the United Kingdom|Edward VIII]], ''Look'', 5 March 1957

* In America, more than anywhere else, the individual is lost in the achievements of the many. America is beginning to be the world leader in scientific investigation. American scholarship is both patient and inspiring. The Americans show an unselfish devotion to science, which is the very opposite of the conventional European view of your countrymen. Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. It is not true that the dollar is an American fetish. The American student is not interested in dollars, not even in success as such, but in his task, the object of the search. It is his painstaking application to the study of the infinitely little and the infinitely large which accounts for his success in astronomy.
** [[Albert Einstein]], [http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf ''What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck''], ''The Saturday Evening Post'' (26 October 1929)

* The proudest human that walks the earth is a free American citizen.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/education/bsa/citizenship_merit_badge/eisenhower_citizenship_quotations.pdf talk at the Commercial Club of Chicago] (21 May 1948).

* Let us never forget that the deep things that are American are the soul and the spirit. The Statue of Liberty is not tired, and not because it is made of bronze. It is because no matter what happens, here the individual is dignified because he is created in the image of his god. Let us not forget it.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/education/bsa/citizenship_merit_badge/speeches/bnai_brith_dinner.pdf remarks to the B'nai B'rith] (23 November 1953), Mayflower Hotel, Washington, D.C.

* The eyes of the world are fixed upon us, and we must ask ourselves, what kind of an example of freedom do we give to our age? What are the true marks of our America, and what do they mean to the world?
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/education/bsa/citizenship_merit_badge/speeches/address_convention_hall.pdf address at the Philadelphia Convention Hall] (1 November 1956).

* We are a people born of many peoples. Our culture, our skills, our very aspirations have been shaped by immigrants, and their sons and daughters, from all the Earth. Sam Gompers from England, Andrew Carnegie from Scotland, Albert Einstein from Germany, and Booker T. Washington and Al Smith, Marconi and Caruso. Men of all nations and races and estates, they have made us what we are... So it is that the laws most binding us as a people are laws of the spirit, proclaimed in church and synagogue and mosque. These are the laws that truly declare the eternal equality of all men, of all races, before the man-made laws of our land. And we are profoundly aware that, in the world, we can claim the trust of hundreds of millions of people, across Africa and Asia, only as we ourselves hold high the banner of justice for all... We are, proudly, a people with no sense of class or caste. We judge no man by his name or inheritance, but by what he does, and for what he stands. And so likewise do we judge other nations. The right of no nation depends upon the date of its birth or the size of its power. As there can be no second class citizens before the law of America, so, we believe, there can be no second-class nations before the law of the world community.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/education/bsa/citizenship_merit_badge/speeches/address_convention_hall.pdf address at the Philadelphia Convention Hall] (1 November 1956).

* A foundation of our American way of life is our national respect for law.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/education/bsa/citizenship_merit_badge/speeches/address_convention_hall.pdf address to the American People on the Situation in Little Rock] (24 September 1957).

* I believe that the United States as a government, if it is going to be true to its own founding documents, does have the job of working toward that time when there is no discrimination made on such inconsequential reason as race, color, or religion.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhower.archives.gov/all_about_ike/quotes.html#civilrights presidential news conference] (13 May 1959).

* Un-American activity cannot be prevented or routed out by employing un-American methods; to preserve freedom we must use the tools that freedom provides.
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], as quoted in ''The White House Years: Mandate for Change: 1953–1956: A Personal Account'' (1963), p. 331.

* I was against [[w:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|it]] on two counts. First, the [[Japan]]ese were ready to surrender, and it wasn't necessary to hit them with that awful thing. Second, I hated to see [[w:United States|our country]] be the first [[w:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|to use such a weapon]].
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], On his stated opposition to the use of the atomic bomb against the Japanese at the end of World War II, as quoted in Newsweek (11 November 1963).

* You were kind of an outlier if you even liked football and you were a girl in [[England]]. So to come over here and have that opportunity? I've always said America is the land of opportunity. It certainly was for me.
** [[w:Jill Ellis|Jillian Ellis]], as quoted in [http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-0602-world-cup-jill-ellis-20150602-story.html &quot;U.S. Coach Jill Ellis' choices put her on the path to Women's World Cup&quot;] (1 June 2015), by Kevin Baxter, ''The Los Angeles Times'', California.

* America has been named as the world’s most generous nation in the world, where its citizens give the most to charity.
** Loulla-Mae Eleftheriou-Smith, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/america-new-zealand-and-canada-top-list-of-world-s-most-generous-nations-a6849221.html &quot;America, New Zealand and Canada top list of world’s most generous nations&quot;] (2 February 2016), ''Independent''

* Don't they know if tomorrow a slave ship arrived at Elmina to carry us to America, so many Ghanaians would climb on board that this ship would sink to the bed of the ocean from our weight?
** [[w:Elolo|Elolo]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=vnnGAgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover ''Searching for Zion, The Quest for Home in the African Diaspora''] (2013), by Emily Raboteau, Atlantic Monthly Press, p. 223.

* I live in America, I feel such a debt to America. I love America, with all my heart.
** [[w:Michael Enright (actor)|Michael Enright]], as quoted in [http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2015/06/01/why-this-hollywood-actor-dropped-everything-to-fight-the-islamic-state-in-syria/ &quot;Why this Hollywood actor dropped everything to fight the Islamic State in Syria&quot;] (1 June 2015), by Abby Phillip, ''The Washington Post''.

==F==
[[File:Washington Crossing the Delaware 1856-71 George Caleb Bingham.jpg|thumb|Mankind are all formed by the same almighty being, alike objects of his care and equally designed for the enjoyment of happiness... The political creed of America fully coincides with the position. ~ [[Benjamin Franklin]]]]
[[File:Flags of the United States and France (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|It seems to me that the United States and [[France]] can learn from each other. French universalism, or its equivalent, is a powerful weapon against racism, which is based on the belief in innate unalterable differences among human groups. Stressing what rights all people have because of what they have in common remains at the heart of anti-racism. ~ [[George M. Fredrickson]]]]
* Rally round the flag, boys—&lt;br&gt;Give it to the breeze!&lt;br&gt;That's the banner that we bore&lt;br&gt;On the land and seas.&lt;br&gt;Brave hearts are under it,&lt;br&gt;Let the traitors brag,&lt;br&gt;Gallant lads, fire away!&lt;br&gt;And fight for the flag.&lt;br&gt;Their flag is but a rag—&lt;br&gt;Ours is the true one;&lt;br&gt;Up with the Stars and Stripes!&lt;br&gt; with the new one!&lt;br&gt;Let our colors fly, boys—&lt;br&gt;Guard them day and night;&lt;br&gt;For victory is liberty,&lt;br&gt;And God will bless the right.
** [[James Thomas Fields]], &quot;The Stars and Stripes&quot;; reported in Florence Adams and Elizabeth McCarrick, ''Highdays &amp; Holidays'' (1927), pp. 182–83.

* Democracy is the creed of a province; it dwells in fetid wards. Republicanism is the religion of a nation; it creates imperial commonwealths out of desert wastes. These 'imperial commonwealths' constitute the foremost nation of the earth. The American republic. It leads them all in public school systems, home comforts, multiplicity of labor-saving machinery, public service, perfect autonomy of government for local communities, modes of travel, engines of general intelligence, public caravansaries, means of adjudicating disputes between man and man, freedom of thought, religion, press and speech, and in the utmost freedom of action in individuals consistent with good order and the rights of others, without the slightest government restraint or espionage. Notwithstanding the crimes of the south against the blacks, we hold the beacon of civil liberty and personal equality higher than any other nation. The light of our civilization goes farther into the jungles of ignorance and barbarism, deeper into the dungeons of tyranny and oppression than that of any other people. Nations, the guiding star of the world. We are the load-stone of nations, the guiding star of the world.
** [[w:Frank Abial Flower|Frank Abial Flower]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=VmkFAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA449&amp;lpg=PA449&amp;dq=print+matthews+1883+copiah&amp;hl=en#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''History of the Republican Party: Embracing Its Origin, Growth and Mission''] (1 July 1884), by F.A. Flower, Grand Rapids, Michigan: Union Book Company, p. 10.

* Equal rights belonged to all Americans regardless of race.
** [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=cwVkgrvctCcC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=%22Eric+Foner%22+%22Republicans%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiOwdup3aLLAhVK7SYKHZufDmUQ6AEIRjAH#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Eric%20Foner%22%20%22Republicans%22&amp;f=false ''Reconstruction: America's Unfinished Revolution, 1863-1877''], p. xxiv

* Many things claimed as uniquely American, a devotion to individual freedom, for example, or social opportunity, exist in other countries. But birthright citizenship does make the United States unique in the [[developed world]]. No European nation recognizes the principle.
** [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [https://archive.is/NFGmx#selection-2523.0-2523.383 &quot;What is an American?: Birthright citizenship, more than anything else, makes our country exceptional&quot;] (6 September 2015), by E. Foner, ''Pittsburgh Post-Gazette''

* Let us put an end to self-inflicted wounds. Let us remember that our national unity is a most priceless asset.
** [[Gerald R. Ford|Gerald Ford]], as quoted in address to joint session of the United States Congress (10 April 1975).

* February 19 is the anniversary of a very, very sad day in American history. It was on that date in 1942 that Executive Order 9066 was issued resulting in the uprooting of many, many loyal Americans. Over 100,000 persons of Japanese ancestry were removed from their homes, detained in special camps, and eventually relocated. We now know what we should have known then. Not only was that evacuation wrong but Japanese-Americans were and are loyal Americans. On the battlefield and at home the names of Japanese-Americans have been and continue to be written in history for the sacrifices and the contributions they have made to the well-being and to the security of this, our common Nation. Executive Order 9066 ceased to be effective at the end of World War II. Because there was no formal statement of its termination, there remains some concern among Japanese-Americans that there yet may be some life in that obsolete document. The proclamation that I am signing here today should remove all doubt on that matter. I call upon the American people to affirm with me the unhyphenated American promise that we have learned from the tragedy of that long ago experience; forever to treasure liberty and justice for each individual American and resolve that this kind of error shall never be made again.
** [[Gerald R. Ford|Gerald Ford]], [http://www.fordlibrarymuseum.gov/library/speeches/760111p.htm ''President Gerald R. Ford's Proclamation 4417, Confirming the Termination of the Executive Order Authorizing Japanese-American Internment During World War II''] (19 February 1976).

* America continues to be, for many, a land of dreams. Dreams which lead to action, to participation, to commitment. Dreams which awaken what is deepest and truest in the life of a people. In recent centuries, millions of people came to this land to pursue their dream of building a future in freedom. We, the people of this continent, are not fearful of foreigners, because most of us were once foreigners. I say this to you as the son of immigrants, knowing that so many of you are also descended from immigrants... Tragically, the rights of those who were here long before us were not always respected. For those peoples and their nations, from the heart of American democracy, I wish to reaffirm my highest esteem and appreciation. Those first contacts were often turbulent and violent, but it is difficult to judge the past by the criteria of the present. Nonetheless, when the stranger in our midst appeals to us, we must not repeat the sins and the errors of the past. We must resolve now to live as nobly and as justly as possible, as we educate new generations not to turn their back on our 'neighbors' and everything around us. 
** [[Pope Francis]], [http://www.c-span.org/video/?328063-1/pope-francis-address-joint-meeting-congress Pope Francis Address to Joint Meeting of Congress] (24 September 2015). As quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/transcript-pope-franciss-speech-to-congress/2015/09/24/6d7d7ac8-62bf-11e5-8e9e-dce8a2a2a679_story.html &quot;Transcript: Pope Francis' Speech to Congress&quot;] (24 September 2015), ''The Washington Post''.

* In the United States today, the government performs many of its functions more or less effectively. The mail is delivered (sometimes); the population, or at least part of it, is counted (sort of); and taxes are collected (you bet). You can accuse the federal leviathan of many things—corruption, incompetence, waste, bureaucratic strangulation—but mere anarchy, the lack of effective government, is not one of them. Yet at the same time, the state does not perform effectively or justly its basic duty of enforcing order and punishing criminals, and in this respect its failures do bring the country, or important parts of it, close to a state of anarchy. But that semblance of anarchy is coupled with many of the characteristics of tyranny, under which innocent and law-abiding citizens are punished by the state or suffer gross violations of their rights and liberty at the hands of the state. The result is what seems to be the first society in history in which elements of both anarchy and tyranny pertain at the same time and seem to be closely connected with each other and to constitute, more or less, opposite sides of the same coin.
** [[w:Samuel Francis|Samuel Francis]], [https://www.chroniclesmagazine.org/anarcho-tyranny-u-s-a-5/ Anarcho-Tyranny, U.S.A.], ''Chronicles'', July 1994

* [M]ankind are all formed by the same Almighty being, alike objects of his Care &amp; equally designed for the Enjoyment of Happiness the Christian Religion teaches us to believe &amp; the Political Creed of America fully coincides with the Position... [B]lessings ought rightfully to be administered, without distinction of Colour, to all descriptions of People, so they indulge themselves in the pleasing expectation, that nothing, which can be done for the relive of the unhappy objects of their care, will be either omitted or delayed... From a persuasion that equal liberty was originally the Portion, It is still the Birthright of all men.
**[[Benjamin Franklin]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20060521035446/http://www.ushistory.org:80/documents/antislavery.htm &quot;Petition from the Pennsylvania Society for the Abolition of Slavery&quot;] (3 February 1790)

* It seems to me that the United States and [[France]] can learn from each other. French universalism, or its equivalent, is a powerful weapon against racism, which is based on the belief in innate unalterable differences among human groups. Stressing what rights all people have because of what they have in common remains at the heart of anti-racism. A stronger awareness of such human commonality may be needed in the United States at a time when a stress on diversity and ethnic particularism may deprive us of any compelling vision of the larger national community and impede cooperation in the pursuit of a free and just society. On the other hand the identification of such universalism with a particular national identity and with specific cultural traits that go beyond essential human rights can lead to an intolerance of the ''Other'' that approaches color-coded racism in its harmful effects.
** [[George M. Fredrickson]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20031208020244/http://www.yale.edu/glc/events/race/Fredrickson.pdf Race, Ethnicity, and National Identity in France and the United States: A Comparative Historical Overview]'', (8 November 2003).

* The United States is arguably the world's oldest democracy. Its people benefit from a vibrant electoral system, a strong rule-of-law tradition, robust freedoms of expression and religious belief, and a wide array of other civil liberties. The United States remains a major destination point for immigrants and has largely been successful in integrating newcomers from all backgrounds.
** [https://freedomhouse.org/report/freedom-world/2017/united-states ''Freedom House'']

* In the [[w:United States|United States]], minority populations were never an indigestible mass—with the major exceptions of the one ethnic group that did not come here voluntarily (African Americans) and those who were here when Europeans arrived (American Indians). The rest all came, clustered and dispersed, and added new cultural layers to the general society. [[Immigration|This]] has always been the strength of the [[w:United States|United States]]. 
** [[George Friedman]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170628085246/http://www.mysearch.org.uk/website1/pdf/715.2.pdf ''The Next 100 Years: A Forecast for the 21st Century''] (2009), New York: Doubleday, pp. 224&amp;ndash;225

* The United States' model is a little bit more liberal and therefore we do less redistribution.
** Francis Fukuyama, as quoted in [http://www.rferl.org/content/fukuyama-putinism-islamic-state-liberal-democracy/27518924.html &quot;Fukuyama: 'Putinism', Radical Islam No Alternative To Liberal Democracy&quot;] (30 January 2016), by *Charles Recknagel, ''Radio Free Europe: Radio Liberty''.

* There are two Americas. One is the America of [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] and [[Adlai Stevenson]]; the other is the America of [[Theodore Roosevelt|Teddy Roosevelt]] and the modern [[patriotism|superpatriots]]. One is generous and humane, the other narrowly egotistical; one is self-critical, the other self-righteous; one is sensible, the other romantic; one is good-humored, the other solemn; one is inquiring, the other pontificating; one is moderate, the other filled with passionate intensity; one is judicious and the other arrogant in the use of great power.
** [[w:J. William Fulbright|J. William Fulbright]], ''The Arrogance of Power'' (1966).

==G==
[[File:Waud - 1867 - The First Vote.jpg|thumb|There can be no permanent disfranchised peasantry in the United States. Freedom can never yield its fullness of blessings so long as the law or its administration places the smallest obstacle in the pathway of any virtuous citizen. ~ [[James A. Garfield]]]]
[[File:Scene at the Signing of the Constitution of the United States.jpg|thumb|To grant suffrage to the black man in [[w:United States|this country]] is not innovation, but restoration. It is a return to the ancient principles and practices of [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|the fathers]]. ~ [[James A. Garfield]]]]
[[File:B-2 Spirit original.jpg|thumb|The essence of U.S. military predominance in the world is, ultimately, the fact that it can, at will, drop bombs, with only a few hours' notice, at absolutely any point on the surface of the planet. No other government has ever had anything remotely like this sort of capability. ~ [[David Graeber]]]]
[[File:US Capitol dome Jan 2006.jpg|thumb|Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separate. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:US flag 37 stars.svg|thumb|Protect the law-abiding citizen, whether of native or foreign birth, wherever his rights are jeopardized or the flag of our country floats. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:UStanks baghdad 2003.JPEG|thumb|As the United States is the freest of all nations, so, too, its people sympathize with all people struggling for liberty and self-government; but while so sympathizing it is due to our honor that we should abstain from enforcing our views upon unwilling nations and from taking an interested part, without invitation. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:Freedman Bureau Richmond VA.jpg|thumb|Encourage free schools, and resolve that not one dollar of money shall be appropriated to the support of any sectarian school. Resolve that neither the state nor nation, or both combined, shall support institutions of learning other than those sufficient to afford every child growing up in the land the opportunity of a good common school education. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:Flag of the United States of America (1861-1863).svg|thumb|Our liberties remain unimpaired; the bondmen have been freed from slavery. We have become possessed of the respect, if not the friendship, of all civilized nations. Our progress has been great. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:President George W. Bush spends time with students at the Waldo C. Falkener Elementary School.jpg|thumb|I suggest for [[w:United States Congress|your]] earnest consideration, and most earnestly recommend it, that a constitutional amendment be submitted to the legislatures of the several states for ratification, making it the duty of each of the several states to establish and forever maintain free public schools adequate to the education of all the children in the rudimentary branches within their respective limits, irrespective of sex, color, birthplace, or religions. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:Rosaparks.jpg|thumb|The present difficulty, in bringing all parts of [[w:United States|the United States]] to a happy unity and love of country grows out of [[Bigotry|the prejudice to color]]. [[Bigotry|The prejudice]] is a senseless one, but it exists. ~ [[Ulysses S. Grant]]]]
[[File:US Great Seal 1782 drawing.png|thumb|The triumph of the Union is dispensable not only to the existence of our country to the well being of mankind. ~ [[Horace Greeley]]]]
* For mere vengeance I would do nothing. This nation is too great to look for mere revenge. But for security of the future I would do every thing.
** [[James A. Garfield]], speech in New York City (15 April 1865) on the occasion of [[Abraham Lincoln]]'s assassination, as reported in John Clark Ridpath, ''The Life and Work of James A. Garfield'' (1882 memorial edition), p. 194. Several biographers include this speech, but accounts of his remarks that day vary

* To grant suffrage to the black man in [[w:United States|this country]] is not innovation, but restoration. It is a return to the ancient principles and practices of [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|the fathers]].
** [[James A. Garfield]], [https://archive.org/stream/worksjamesabram00garfgoog/worksjamesabram00garfgoog_djvu.txt oration at Ravenna] (4 July 1865)

* [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|The colonists]] were struggling not only against the armies of a [[United Kingdom|great nation]], but against the settled opinions of mankind; for the world did not then believe that the supreme authority of government could be safely intrusted to the guardianship of the people themselves... The elevation of the negro race from slavery to the full rights of citizenship is the most important political change we have known since the adoption of the [[United States Constitution|Constitution of 1787]]. No thoughtful man can fail to appreciate its beneficent effect upon our institutions and people. It has freed us from the perpetual danger of war and dissolution. It has added immensely to the moral and industrial forces of our people. It has liberated the master as well as the slave from a relation which wronged and enfeebled both. It has surrendered to their own guardianship the manhood of more than 5,000,000 people, and has opened to each one of them a career of freedom and usefulness... There can be no permanent disfranchised peasantry in the United States. Freedom can never yield its fullness of blessings so long as the law or its administration places the smallest obstacle in the pathway of any virtuous citizen.
** [[James A. Garfield]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20000523111834/http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/presiden/inaug/garfield.htm inaugural address] (4 March 1881)

* I will say, finally, that I despair of [[w:United States|the republic]] while [[slavery]] exists therein. If I look up to [[God]] for [[success]], no [[smile]] of [[mercy]] or [[forgiveness]] dispels the gloom of futurity; if to our own resources, they are daily diminishing; if to all [[history]], our destruction is not only possible, but almost certain. Why should we slumber at this momentous crisis? If our [[hearts]] were [[dead]] to every throb of [[humanity]]; if it were [[lawful]] to oppress, where [[power]] is ample; still, if we had any regard for our [[safety]] and [[happiness]], we should strive to crush the [[Vampire]] which is feeding upon our [[life]]-[[blood]]. All the [[selfishness]] of our [[nature]] cries aloud for a better security. Our own vices are too [[strong]] for us, and keep us in perpetual alarm; how, in addition to these, shall we be able to contend successfully with millions of armed and desperate men, as we must eventually, if slavery do not cease?
** [[William Lloyd Garrison]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=562 address to the Colonization Society] (4 July 1829)

* I have not come here with reference to any flag but that of freedom. If [[w:United States|your Union]] does not symbolize universal emancipation, it brings no Union for me. If your Constitution does not guarantee freedom for all, it is not a Constitution I can ascribe to. If your flag is stained by the blood of a brother held in bondage, I repudiate it in the name of God. I came here to witness the unfurling of a flag under which every human being is to be recognized as entitled to his freedom. Therefore, with a clear conscience, without any compromise of principles, I accepted the invitation of the Government of the United States to be present and witness the ceremonies that have taken place today. And now let me give the sentiment which has been, and ever will be, the governing passion of my soul: 'Liberty for each, for all, and forever!'
** [[William Lloyd Garrison]], speech in Charleston, [[South Carolina]] (14 April 1865).

* The directness and naturalness of the American is the most enviable of his traits. It gives the sense of a man who is born free.
** [[w:Alfred George Gardiner|Alfred George Gardiner]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=A9LPAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA101&amp;lpg=PA101&amp;dq=%22The+directness+and+naturalness+of+the+American+is+the+most+enviable+of+his+traits.+It+gives+the+sense+of+a+man+who+is+born+free.%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=s6wfDHuUWv&amp;sig=nRZZ4aIhKELXA_zsps9cZACrDjE&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwikhO3EooDUAhVH4CYKHVHTBRAQ6AEIJjAC#v=onepage&amp;q=%22The%20directness%20and%20naturalness%20of%20the%20American%20is%20the%20most%20enviable%20of%20his%20traits.%20It%20gives%20the%20sense%20of%20a%20man%20who%20is%20born%20free.%22&amp;f=false ''Leaves in the Wind''], p. 101

* My father had served with great honor and courage in the Second World War. He fought for a country that was not only great, but good. It had its flaws and had some imperfections. It was the original sin of slavery which you know which we hadn't completed extirpated because we still had racial injustice in the 50s and 60s and 70s. We had only recently abolished, formally abolished segregation. So I was aware that uh, America had its flaws and defects in its history. But I also believed in the country and believed in its principles. That's the way I was brought up and so I was shocked when I found people who were just openly, vociferously anti-American, condemning not only America's sins but America itself, condemning its principles and pointing in some cases to communist regimes like Cuba as being superior.
** [[Robert P. George]], [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/robert-p-george/ interview with Bill Kristol] (April 2016), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/robert-george-transcript/ transcript]

* I was the last to consent to the separation; but the separation having been made and having become inevitable, I have always said, as I say now, that I would be the first to meet the friendship of the United States as an independent power.
** [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]], to [[John Adams]] in Londnon, as quoted in Adams, C.F. (editor) (1850–56), ''The works of John Adams, second president of the United States'', vol. VIII, pp. 255–257, quoted in Ayling, p. 323 and Hibbert, p. 165

* [[w:Multivariate analysis|Multivariate analysis]] indicates that economic elites and organized groups representing business interests have substantial independent impacts on U.S. government policy, while average citizens and mass-based interest groups have little or no independent influence. The results provide substantial support for theories of Economic-Elite Domination and for theories of Biased Pluralism, but not for theories of Majoritarian Electoral Democracy or Majoritarian Pluralism.
** Martin Gilens and [[Benjamin I. Page]], &quot;Testing Theories of American Politics: Elites, Interest Groups, and Average Citizens,&quot; ''[[w:Perspectives on Politics|Perspectives on Politics]]'', vol. 12, no. 3 (September 2014)

* American society is still among the healthiest in world, if not the best. The United Nations’ Human Development Index, a measure of a health, education and standard-of-living indicators, ranks America eighth, behind Australia and a handful of European nations. The United States remains the most coveted destination for would-be immigrants and foreign students.
** Scott Gilmore, [http://www.macleans.ca/politics/washington/when-did-america-stop-being-great/ &quot;When did America stop being great?&quot;] (2 March 2016), ''MacLean's''

* Oh, give us a flag, all free without a slave! We'll fight to defend it, as our fathers did so brave... We'll stand by the Union, if we only have a chance.
** [http://www.civilwarpoetry.org/union/songs/give_us_a_flag.html &quot;Give Us A Flag&quot;]

* America remains the last best hope for mankind. Still, I think it would be silly to deny how America came to be, but the truth makes me no less grateful that America did come to be. Also, I really, really like the food.
** [[Jonah Goldberg]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20041126231505/http://www.nationalreview.com:80/thecorner/04_11_24_corner-archive.asp &quot;Thanksgiving&quot;] (24 November 2004), ''The Corner'', National Review

* The most unpardonable sin in society is [[independence of thought]]. That this should be so terribly apparent in a country whose symbol is democracy, is very significant of the tremendous power [[Tyranny of the majority|of the majority]]. [...] Evidently we have not advanced very far from the condition that confronted [[Wendell Phillips]].
** [[Emma Goldman]], ''{{w|Anarchism and Other Essays}}'', [[:wikisource:Anarchism and Other Essays/2|Minorities Versus Majorities]], 1910, ''Mother Earth Publishing''

* The U.S. military, unlike any other, maintains a doctrine of global power projection: that it should have the ability, through roughly 800 overseas military bases, to intervene with deadly force absolutely anywhere on the planet. In a way, though, land forces are secondary; at least since World War II, the key to U.S. military doctrine has always been a reliance on air power. The United States has fought no war in which it did not control the skies, and it has relied on aerial bombardment far more systematically than any other military-in its recent occupation of Iraq, for instance, even going so far as to bomb residential neighborhoods of cities ostensibly under its own control. The essence of U.S. military predominance in the world is, ultimately, the fact that it can, at will, drop bombs, with only a few hours' notice, at absolutely any point on the surface of the planet. No other government has ever had anything remotely like this sort of capability. In fact, a case could well be made that it is this very power that holds the entire world monetary system, organized around the dollar, together.
** [[David Graeber]], ''Debt: The 5000 Years'', p. 365-366.

* I hate Americans; I hate America.
** [[w:Ariana Grande|Ariana Grande]], [http://friesian.com/antiam.htm at a Los Angeles doughnut shop] (4 July 2015).

* I would protect the law-abiding citizen, whether of native or foreign birth, wherever his rights are jeopardized or the flag of our country floats.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_First_Inaugural_Address|''First Inaugural Address'']] (4 March 1869).

* As the United States is the freest of all nations, so, too, its people sympathize with all people struggling for liberty and self-government; but while so sympathizing it is due to our honor that we should abstain from enforcing our views upon unwilling nations and from taking an interested part, without invitation.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_First_State_of_the_Union_Address|''First State of the Union Address'']] (6 December 1869).

* The present difficulty, in bringing all parts of the United States to a happy unity and love of country grows out of [[Bigotry|the prejudice to color]]. [[Bigotry|The prejudice]] is a senseless one, but it exists.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=h2ETxC83sdsC&amp;pg=PA74&amp;lpg=PA74&amp;dq=%22and+he+would+soon+receive+such+recognition+as+to+induce+him+to+stay%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=0bCUbNud-b&amp;sig=SUGBB2pV8Ob_jR_KTJvQ2kenxKM&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=B-9kU7-8DtXesAT_4YGQBA&amp;ved=0CDoQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22and%20he%20would%20soon%20receive%20such%20recognition%20as%20to%20induce%20him%20to%20stay%22&amp;f=false Memorandum: Reasons why Santo Domingo should be annexed to the United States]'' (1869-1870?).

* The framers of our Constitution firmly believed that a republican government could not endure without intelligence and education generally diffused among the people. The Father of his Country, in his Farewell Address, uses this language.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20100530210158/http://www.nps.gov/ulsg/historyculture/grant-and-the-15th-amendment.htm special message to the Senate and House of Representatives] (30 March 1870).

* Under existing conditions the negro votes the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] ticket because he knows his friends are of that party. Many a good citizen votes the opposite, not because he agrees with the great principles of state which separate parties, but because, generally, he is opposed to negro rule. This is a most delusive cry. Treat the negro as a citizen and a voter, as he is and must remain, and soon parties will be divided, not on the color line, but on principle. Then we shall have no complaint of sectional interference.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_Sixth_State_of_the_Union_Address|Sixth State of the Union Address]] (7 December 1874).

* Encourage free schools, and resolve that not one dollar of money shall be appropriated to the support of any sectarian school. Resolve that neither the state nor nation, or both combined, shall support institutions of learning other than those sufficient to afford every child growing up in the land the opportunity of a good common school education, unmixed with sectarian, pagan, or atheistical tenets. Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separate.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [https://archive.org/stream/wordsofourheroul00gran/wordsofourheroul00gran_djvu.txt speech at the Annual Reunion of the Society of the Army of Tennessee] (29 September 1875), Des Moines, Iowa.

* Our liberties remain unimpaired; the bondmen have been freed from slavery; we have become possessed of the respect, if not the friendship, of all civilized nations. Our progress has been great in all the arts—in science, agriculture, commerce, navigation, mining, mechanics, law, medicine, etc.; and in general education the progress is likewise encouraging. Our thirteen States have become thirty-eight, including Colorado (which has taken the initiatory steps to become a State), and eight Territories, including the Indian Territory and Alaska, and excluding Colorado, making a territory extending from the Atlantic to the Pacific. On the south we have extended to the Gulf of Mexico, and in the west from the Mississippi to the Pacific.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_Seventh_State_of_the_Union_Address|''Seventh State of the Union Address'']] (7 December 1875).

* As the primary step, therefore, to our advancement in all that has marked our progress in the past century, I suggest for your earnest consideration, and most earnestly recommend it, that a constitutional amendment be submitted to the legislatures of the several states for ratification, making it the duty of each of the several states to establish and forever maintain free public schools adequate to the education of all the children in the rudimentary branches within their respective limits, irrespective of sex, color, birthplace, or religions; forbidding the teaching in said schools of religious, atheistic, or pagan tenets; and prohibiting the granting of any school funds or school taxes, or any part thereof, either by legislative, municipal, or other authority, for the benefit or in aid, directly or indirectly, of any religious sect or denomination, or in aid or for the benefit of any other object of any nature or kind whatever.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_Seventh_State_of_the_Union_Address|''Seventh State of the Union Address'']] (7 December 1875).

* It is to be hoped that such legislation may be another step toward the great consummation to be reached, when no man shall be permitted, directly or indirectly, under any guise, excuse, or form of law, to hold his fellow-man in bondage. I am of opinion also that it is the duty of the United States, as contributing toward that end, and required by the spirit of the age in which we live, to provide by suitable legislation that no citizen of the United States shall hold slaves as property in any other country or be interested therein.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [[s:Ulysses_S._Grant%27s_Seventh_State_of_the_Union_Address|''Seventh State of the Union Address'']] (7 December 1875).

* As soon as slavery fired upon the flag it was felt, we all felt, even those who did not object to slaves, that slavery must be destroyed. We felt that it was a stain to the Union that men should be bought and sold like cattle.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], to [[Otto von Bismarck]] (June 1878), as quoted in [http://www.granthomepage.com/grantslavery.htm ''Around the World with General Grant''] (1879), by John Russell Young, The American News Company, New York, vol. 7, p. 416.

* [[War]] has made us a nation of great power and intelligence. We have but little to do to preserve peace, happiness and prosperity at home, and the respect of other nations. Our experience ought to teach us the necessity of the first; our power secures the latter... I cannot stay to be a living witness to the correctness of this prophecy; but I feel it within me that it is to be so. The universally kind feeling expressed for me at a time when it was supposed that each day would prove my last, seemed to me the beginning of the answer to 'Let us have peace'. The expression of these kindly feelings were not restricted to a section of the country, nor to a division of the people. They came from individual citizens of all nationalities; from all denominations — the Protestant, the Catholic, and the Jew; and from the various societies of the land — scientific, educational, religious or otherwise. Politics did not enter into the matter at all. I am not egotist enough to suppose all this significance should be given because I was the object of it.
** [[Ulysses S. Grant]], [http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/4367 ''Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant''] (1885).

* The triumph of the Union is dispensable not only to the existence of our country to the well being of mankind.
** [[Horace Greeley]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20051227061528/http://www.civilwarhome.com/lincolngreeley.htm letter to Abraham Lincoln] (19 August 1862).

* And I'm proud to be an American&lt;br&gt;Where at least I know I'm free&lt;br&gt;And I won't forget the men who died&lt;br&gt;Who gave that right to me&lt;br&gt;And I gladly stand up&lt;br&gt;Next to you and defend her still today&lt;br&gt;Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this land&lt;br&gt;God bless the USA
** [[W:Lee Greenwood|Lee Greenwood]], ''[[W:God Bless the U.S.A.|God Bless the U.S.A.]]'' (1984)

* Let us not only declare by wrords, but demonstrate by our actions, &quot;That all men are created equal; that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable rights; that, amongst these, are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.&quot; Let us venerate the instruction of that great and amiable man, to whom, chiefly, under Providence, the United States are indebted for their liberties; the world, for a common home: &quot;That there exists an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness, between duty and advantage.&quot;
** [[w:William Grimshaw|William Grimshaw]], [[:File:History of the United States (1821), by William Grimshaw.pdf|''History of the United States'']] (1821)

* The greatest, craziest, most dangerous, least stable, most spectacular, least grown-up, and most powerful and magnificent nation ever known.
** [[w:John Gunther|John Gunther]], ''[[w:Inside U.S.A. (book)|Inside U.S.A.]]'' (1947).

* The USA is the strongest nation on earth; nobody questions this fact. The USA is a melting pot of races and ethnicities that produces the best overall athletes in the world; nobody questions this fact either.
** Ahmet Guvener, [https://www.socceramerica.com/publications/article/70255/aiming-to-end-pay-to-play-and-play-to-win.html &quot;Aiming to end Pay to Play and Play to Win&quot;] (6 September 2017), ''Youth Soccer Insider'', Soccer America

==H==
[[File:Capitol_Gegenlicht.jpg|thumb|My whole life has taught me what America means. I am indebted to my country beyond any human power to repay. ~ [[Herbert Hoover]]]]
[[File:USMC-090917-M-9234B-209.jpg|thumb|Americans. America needs new immigrants to love and cherish it. ~ [[Eric Hoffer]]]]
[[File:Scene at the Signing of the Constitution of the United States.jpg|thumb|Ironically, the founders of the republic have been hailed and lionized by left, right, and center for—in effect—creating the first apartheid state. ~ [[Gerald Horne]]]]


* The U.S. economy is likely to continue for the foreseeable future to be a major force not only for global economic growth and innovation but also for global economic stability. When uncertainties emerge in the global economic picture, it is in U.S. treasuries and the U.S. equity markets that global capital seeks refuge. And a number of factors favor the future growth of the American economy. Let me mention just two of them; America's energy boom and its ability to attract talent from every corner of the world.
** [[w:Stephen J. Hadley|Stephen Hadley]], [http://www.lowyinstitute.org/publications/americas-role-world-stephen-j-hadley &quot;America's Role In The World&quot;] (30 October 2004), ''Lowy Institute''.

* Less than a decade ago, as you might recall, energy was a big challenge for the United States. But since then there has been a boom in domestic U.S. oil and gas production due to the exploitation of shale oil and shale gas deposits through horizontal drilling and hydraulic fracking. In 2013, the United States overtook Russia as the world’s leading producer of oil and gas. Within two years, it is likely to surpass Saudi Arabia as the world's largest crude oil producer. As a consequence, U.S. imports of oil and gas have fallen steeply in the last 5 years, helping to reduce the U.S. trade deficit. Indeed, the United States will soon be a net exporter of energy.
** [[w:Stephen J. Hadley|Stephen Hadley]], [http://www.lowyinstitute.org/publications/americas-role-world-stephen-j-hadley &quot;America's Role In The World&quot;] (30 October 2004), ''Lowy Institute''.

* We are committed to sacrifice in battle in order to make America safe for Americans and establish their security on every lawful mission on the high seas or under the shining sun.
** [[Warren G. Harding]], ''[[s:The Republic Must Awaken|The Republic Must Awaken]]'' (1917).

* We are testing popular government's capacity for self-defense. We are resolved to liberate the soul of American life and prove ourselves an American people in fact, spirit, and purpose, and consecrate ourselves anew and everlastingly to human freedom and humanity's justice. Realizing our new relationship with the world, we want to make it fit to live in, and with might and fright and wrathfulness and barbarity crushed by the conscience of a real civilization. Ours is a small concern about the kind of government any people may choose, but we do mean to outlaw the nation which violates the sacred compacts of international relationships. The decision is to be final... A republic worth living in is worth fighting for, and sacrificing for, and dying for. In the fires of this conflict we shall wipe out the disloyalty of those who wear American garb without the faith, and establish a new concord of citizenship and a new devotion, so that we should have made a safe America the home and hope of a people who are truly American in heart and soul.
** [[Warren G. Harding]], ''[[s:The Republic Must Awaken|The Republic Must Awaken]]'' (1917).

* The United States of America. Our call is for unison, not rivaling sympathies. Our need is concord, not the antipathies of long inheritance... We want a free America again. We want America free at home, and free in the world. We want to silence the outcry of nation against nation, in the fullness of understanding, and we wish to silence [[Bigotry|the cry of class against class]], and stifle the party appeal to class, so that we may ensure tranquility in our own freedom. If I could choose but one, I had rather have industrial and social peace at home, than command the international peace of all the world.
** [[Warren G. Harding]], ''[[s:Nationalism and Americanism|Nationalism and Americanism]]'' (1920).

* Much has been said of late about world ideals, but I prefer to think of the ideal for America. I like to think there's something more than the patriotism and practical wisdom of the founding fathers. It's good to believe that maybe destiny held this new world republic to be the supreme example of representative democracy and orderly liberty by which humanity is inspired to higher achievement. It is idle to think we have attained perfection, but there is the satisfying knowledge that we hold orderly processes for making our government reflect the heart and mind of the republic... Ours is not only a fortunate people, but a very common-sensical people, with vision high, but their feet on the earth, with belief in themselves and faith in God. Whether enemies threaten from without or menaces arise from within, there is some indefinable voice saying, ''{{'}}Have confidence in the Republic. America will go on{{'}}''. Here is the sample of liberty no storms may shake. Here are the altars of freedom no factions shall destroy. It was American in conception, American in its building. It shall be American in the fulfillment. Factional once, we are all American now, and we mean to be all Americans to all the world.
** [[Warren G. Harding]], ''[[s:The_American_Soldier|The American Soldier]]'' (1920).

* In view of [[United States Constitution|the constitution]], in the eye of the law, there is in this country no superior, dominant, ruling class of citizens. There is no caste here. [[United States Constitution|Our constitution]] is color-blind, and neither knows nor tolerates classes among citizens. In respect of civil rights, all citizens are equal before the law. The humblest is the peer of the most powerful. The law regards man as man, and takes no account of his surroundings or of his color when his civil rights as guaranteed by the supreme law of the land are involved. It is difficult to reconcile that boast with a state of the law which, practically, puts the brand of servitude and degradation upon a large class of our fellow-citizens, our equals before the law... We boast of the freedom enjoyed by our people above all other peoples. But it is difficult to reconcile that boast with a state of the law which, practically, puts the brand of servitude and degradation upon a large class of our fellow citizens, our equals before the law. The thin disguise of 'equal' accommodations for passengers in railroad coaches will not mislead anyone, nor atone for the wrong this day done... I cannot see but that, according to the principles this day announced, such state legislation, although conceived in hostility to, and enacted for the purpose of humiliating, citizens of the United States of a particular race, would be held to be consistent with the constitution.
** [[John Marshall Harlan]], as quoted in ''[[w:Plessy v. Ferguson|Plessy v. Ferguson]]'', 163 U.S. 537, 559 (1896).

* We Americans have no commission from God to police the world.
** [[Benjamin Harrison]], ''Statement of 1888'', as quoted in ''Treasury of Presidential Quotations'' (1964) by Caroline T. Hamsberger

* Shall the prejudices and paralysis of slavery continue to hang upon the skirts of progress? How long will those who rejoice that slavery no longer exists cherish or tolerate the incapacities it put upon their communities?
** [[Benjamin Harrison]], ''[[s:Benjamin Harrison's First State of the Union Address|Benjamin Harrison's First State of the Union Address]]'' (3 December 1889).

* The colored people did not intrude themselves upon us. They were brought here in chains and held in the communities where they are now chiefly found by a cruel slave code. Happily for both races, they are now free... But notwithstanding all this, in many parts of our country where the colored population is large the people of that race are by various devices deprived of any effective exercise of their political rights and of many of their civil rights. The wrong does not expend itself upon those whose votes are suppressed. Every constituency in the Union is wronged.
** [[Benjamin Harrison]], ''[[s:Benjamin Harrison's First State of the Union Address|Benjamin Harrison's First State of the Union Address]]'' (3 December 1889).

* [[God]] forbid that the day should ever come when, in the American mind, the thought of man as a 'consumer' shall submerge the old American thought of man as a creature of God, endowed with 'unalienable rights'.
** [[Benjamin Harrison]], &quot;The Status of Annexed Territory and of Its Free Civilized Inhabitants&quot; (1901), ''North American Review'', vol. 172, no. 530 (January 1901), p. 22.

*When [[Robert F. Kennedy|Bobby Kennedy]] went after [[organized crime]] in the early 1960s, one of the things he learned was that the [[W:Mafia|Mafia]] had a series of rituals new members went through to declare their loyalty and promise they’d never turn away from their new benefactors.  Once in, they’d be showered with money and protection, but they could never leave and even faced serious problems if they betrayed the syndicate. Which brings us to the story of [[Kyrsten Sinema]]. For a  republican democracy to actually work, average citizens with a passion for making their country better must be able to run for public office without needing wealthy or powerful patrons; this is a concept that dates back to Aristotle’s rants on the topic. And Sinema... Apparently... she decided that if you can only barely beat them, you’d damn well better join them.  Sinema quickly joined other Democrats who’d followed the Citizens United path to the flashing neon lights of big money, joining the so-called “Problem Solvers” caucus that owes its existence in part to the Wall Street-funded front group “No Labels.” ... Political networks run by rightwing billionaires and the US Chamber of Commerce showered her with support... She’d proved herself as a “made woman,” just like the old mafiosi documented by RFK in the 1960s, willing to do whatever it takes, compromise whatever principles she espoused...
**[[Thom Hartmann]] in [https://www.counterpunch.org/2021/10/14/krysten-sinema-is-the-epitome-of-political-corruption/ Krysten Sinema is the Epitome of Political Corruption, Thom Hartmann,] ''CounterPunch'', October 14, 2021 

*And this is '''a genuine crisis for America because if President Biden is frustrated in his attempt to pass his Build Back Better legislation (that is overwhelmingly supported by Americans across the political spectrum) — all because business groups, giant corporations and rightwing billionaires are asserting ownership over their two “made” senators''' — there’s a very good chance that today’s cynicism and political violence is just a preview of the rest of the decade. But this isn’t as much a story about Sinema as it is about today’s larger political dysfunction for which she’s become, along with Joe Manchin, a poster child.  Increasingly, '''because of the Supreme Court’s betrayal of American values, it’s become impossible for people like the younger Sinema to rise from social worker to the United States Senate without big money behind them....''' While the naked corruption of Sinema and Joe Manchin is a source of outrage for Democrats across America, what’s far more important is that it reveals how deep the rot of money in American politics has gone, thanks entirely to a corrupted Supreme Court.   In Justice Stevens’ dissent in Citizens United, he pointed out that corporations in their modern form didn’t even exist when the Constitution was written...
**[[Thom Hartmann]] in [https://www.counterpunch.org/2021/10/14/krysten-sinema-is-the-epitome-of-political-corruption/ Krysten Sinema is the Epitome of Political Corruption, Thom Hartmann,] ''CounterPunch'', October 14, 2021 

* What then is the American, this new man? He is either an European, or the descendant of an European, hence that strange mixture of blood, which you will find in no other country.
** [[w:J. Hector St. John de Crèvecœur|J. Hector St. John de Crèvecœur]], &quot;What Is an American&quot; (1782), ''Letters from an American Farmer'' (reprinted 1925), p. 54.

*Despite the [[Robert Mueller]] report’s conclusion that Donald Trump and his campaign did not collude with [[Russia]] during the 2016 presidential race, the new [[Cold War]] with Moscow shows little sign of abating. It is used to justify the expansion of [[NATO]] to Russia’s borders, a move that has made billions in profits for [[w:arms manufacturers|U.S. arms manufacturers]]... It is used to demonize domestic critics and [[Alternative media|alternative media outlets]] as agents of a foreign power. It is used to paper over the [[Democratic Party|Democratic Party’s]] [[betrayal]] of the working class and the party’s subservience to [[corporate power]]. It is used to discredit détente between the world’s two largest nuclear powers. It is used to justify both the curtailment of civil liberties in the United States and U.S. interventions overseas—including in countries such as [[Syria]] and [[Venezuela]]. This new Cold War predates the Trump presidential campaign. It was manufactured over a decade ago by a [[Military-industrial complex|war industry]] and intelligence community that understood that, by fueling a conflict with Russia, they could consolidate their [[power]] and increase their [[profits]]. 
**[[Chris Hedges]] in [https://www.truthdig.com/articles/manufacturing-war-with-russia/ ''Manufacturing War With Russia, TruthDig'' ]]  (3 June 2019)

* Many of our constitutional rights as Americans have been revoked by judicial fiat, including the right to privacy. Corporate money floods political campaigns in the name of &quot;free speech.&quot; The United States is a failed democracy and a mafia state, the natural result of what happens when capitalism is deregulated.
**[[Chris Hedges]], [https://www.salon.com/2020/07/16/chris-hedges-america-faces-a-historic-choice--ugly-corporate-tyranny-or-revolution '''Chris Hedges: America faces a historic choice — &quot;ugly corporate tyranny&quot; or revolution''', Chuncey Devega, ''Salon''] (16 July 2020)

* Farmers! Go to America! There, neither princes nor nobles exist; there, all people are equal.
** Heine, as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=MVPlvgCOUbIC&amp;pg=PA33&amp;dq=%22German+farmers!+Go+to+America!+There,+neither+princes+nor+nobles+exist;+there,+all+people+are+equal%27&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjU0e3Pi7rMAhUEroMKHU1PApQQ6AEIHjAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22German%20farmers!%20Go%20to%20America!%20There%2C%20neither%20princes%20nor%20nobles%20exist%3B%20there%2C%20all%20people%20are%20equal'&amp;f=false ''Anti-Americanism: Causes and Sources''], edited by Brendon O'Connor, Martin Griffiths, p. 33

* Americans are considered crazy anywhere in the world.
** [[Robert A. Heinlein|Robert Heinlein]], [http://www.math.union.edu/~dpvc/courses/2010-11/mth053-fa10/assignments/crooked-house.pdf ''And He Built a Crooked House''], p. 1.

* From the first days of our nation, Americans have challenged America to be better. It's a noisy process, sometimes raucous, sometimes even ungraceful. But the result is unmistakable. From its beginning, our nation has traveled an arc of change that has led us away from oppression and toward equality and justice. We have meandered to be sure, and sometimes we have taken steps backward. But the general arc of change is undeniable. By the efforts of every generation we have progressed, become a better nation. More just, more tolerant. Citizenship is an invitation to join in that process of change, to join the chorus of Americans challenging America to be better. We challenge ourselves in a million ways, by acts and words. A gesture on a street corner challenges others to be as kind. Putting our children on the school bus each morning challenges us to be as conscientious. We challenge America to improve by voting or volunteering or raking your neighbor’s leaves, by teaching tolerance and confronting intolerance. Joining this process of national improvement is perhaps the greatest of all the privileges of being an American citizen. As we sit here today, I ask you to think for a moment about the path to citizenship.
** [[w:John Hennessey|John Hennessey]], [https://fredericksburghistory.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/history-citizenship-and-a-better-nation/#more-2399 naturalization speech] (June 2015).

* 153 years ago, had we been sitting on these heights, looking over this river in the midst of civil war, we would likely have seen something curious on the river. Rafts, hastily made, barely water-worthy, bearing families with all their possessions, pushing themselves across the river from Fredericksburg to this shore. These were former slaves, run away from bondage. They came here seeking precisely what you have achieved today. By their coming, months before the [[emancipation proclamation]], they were doing what Americans have always done. They challenged America, as if to say, 'We have left bondage to be free. What will you do with us now?' In the spring and summer of 1862, as many as ten thousand former slaves crossed the Rappahannock River to freedom, some of them likely walking these terraces in freedom, looking down upon the river as others followed their path. These men and women and babies and toddlers and boys and girls did not see their acts as momentous for anyone but themselves, but today we can see that their acts were momentous in many ways. By challenging America to accept their determination that they would no longer suffer bondage, they pushed the nation along that arc toward justice, away from oppression. Seven months later, [[Abraham Lincoln]] signed the Emancipation Proclamation. And three years after that Congress sent to the states the Fourteenth Amendment, according these former slaves the thing they aspired to most beyond freedom. Citizenship. These people did not just walk the path to citizenship, they blazed a trail where none had existed. They, like you, were determined, courageous souls. I hope you will find inspiration from them, just as we derive inspiration from you. We congratulate you. We join you in celebrating life as Americans.  And, we welcome you to the noisy business of being a citizen. And now, mindful that the virtues of our nation come from its people, we bid you, our nation’s newest citizen, to go challenge America to be better still.
** [[w:John Hennessey|John Hennessey]], [https://fredericksburghistory.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/history-citizenship-and-a-better-nation/#more-2399 naturalization speech] (June 2015).

* A friend last weekend said he thought the story about the University of New Hampshire's website publishing a bias-free language guide, which declared that use of the word &quot;American&quot; is &quot;problematic,&quot; was a hoax. Of course, it was real.
** [[Daniel Henninger]], [http://friesian.com/antiam.htm &quot;The Joy of Madness&quot;], ''The Wall Street Journal'' (17 September 2015), A13.

* I know that's hard for you to accept, but [[George W. Bush|George]] kind of knocked it out of the park. I can tell you, and I'm actually here to tell you that America now has five million people being kept alive by these drugs. That's something that everyone should know.
** [[w:Bono|Paul D. Hewson]], ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20130427065241/http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/04/george-w-bushs-legacy-on-africa-wins-praise-even-from-foes/ Daily Show]'' (2012).

* We're Americans. We'd die on our feet than live on our knees.
** Clay Higgins, [http://www.katc.com/clip/12221607/captain-higgins-targets-gang-members ''Stand Up America''] (February 2016)

* The United States, for example, has never had a President as bad as [[w:George III of the United Kingdom|George III]], but neither has Britain had a king as admirable as [[George Washington]] (of whom William Thackeray rightly said that 'his glory will descend to remotest ages' while the memory of the sovereign went the other way).
** [[Christopher Hitchens]], ''[https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=stfi0I6zcXwC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;dq=the%20monarchy%20a%20critique&amp;pg=PP1#v=onepage&amp;q=the%20monarchy%20a%20critique&amp;f=false The Monarchy: A Critique of Britain's Favourite Fetish]'' (1990), Random House.

* The gigantic North American state, with the enormous resources of its virgin soil, is much more invulnerable than the encircled German Reich. Should a day come when the die which will finally decide the destinies of the nations will have to be cast in that country, England would be doomed if she stood alone.
** [[Adolf Hitler]], ''[[w:Mein Kampf|Mein Kampf]]'' (1925).

* It almost seems that nobody can hate America as much as native Americans. America needs new immigrants to love and cherish it.
** [[Eric Hoffer]], as quoted in &quot;Thoughts of Eric Hoffer, Including: 'Absolute Faith Corrupts Absolutely'&quot;, ''The New York Times Magazine'' (25 April 1971), p. 25.

* If we are to make progress in this area we must feel comfortable enough with one another, and tolerant enough of each other, to have frank conversations.
** [[Eric Holder]], [http://www.usdoj.gov/ag/speeches/2009/ag-speech-090218.html ''Remarks at the Department of Justice African American History Month Program''] (18 February 2009).

* The first time that I went to the [[w:United States|United States]] was in 1974... I was 20 years old. America was in crisis. The dollar was at a low. The Watergate scandal had already erupted. And I still remember this vision I had of [[New York City|New York]], which was a huge, fascinating city, dirty and violent. And I’ve been to the U.S. regularly, but what impresses me most in this large [[nation]] is its capacity to overcome hardship and return to the heights.
** [[François Hollande]], as quoted in [http://time.com/4936/exclusive-france-president-francois-hollande-time/ &quot;Exclusive: President François Hollande Talks Syria, Spies and Secrets With TIME&quot;] (5 February 2014), by Catherine Mayer, ''Time''.

* The core foundational values of the United States have been built upon immigration, upon welcoming refugees, upon creating a society that's very diverse.
** Jill Holslin, as quoted in [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/will-trumps-wall-ever-be-built &quot;Will Trump's Wall Ever Be Built?&quot;] (22 January 2018), ''PBS NewsHour''

* I am convinced that America's soul, pulverized by racism, embattled by sexism, over-whelmed by indifference and immorality, polluted with industrial waste, strangled by idiotic government partisanship, over-burdened by taxation, poisoned by an unprincipled media, orphaned by the super-rich, and bilked by the insurance industry can still rise up against these unbearable odds and triumph.
** Bil Holton, [http://www.amazon.com/America-Is-My-Home-Acronym/ ''America Is My Home: The Story of Uncle Sam''], p. iii

* You convey too great a compliment when you say that I have earned the right to the presidential nomination. No man can establish such an obligation upon any part of the American people. My country owes me no debt. It gave me, as it gives every boy and girl, a chance. It gave me schooling, independence of action, opportunity for service and honor. In no other land could a boy from a country village, without inheritance or influential friends, look forward with unbounded hope. My whole life has taught me what America means. I am indebted to my country beyond any human power to repay.
** [[Herbert Hoover]], letter to Senator George H. Moses, chairman of the Republican national convention, upon learning of his nomination for president (14 June 1928). As quoted in ''The Memoirs of Herbert Hoover'' (1952), volume 2, p. 195.

* There are some issues that transcend politics. While my position is certainly political, I am an American first. There should never be a day in the United States of America when people are excluded based solely on their race or religion. It is un-Republican. It is unconstitutional. And it is un-American.
** [[w:Jennifer Horn|Jennifer Horn]], as quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/dick-cheney-more-conservatives-slam-trumps-proposal-to-keep-muslims-out-of-u-s/ &quot;Dick Cheney, more conservatives slam Trump's proposal to keep Muslims out of U.S.&quot;] (7 December 2015), by Stephanie Condon, ''CBS News'', CBS

* Ironically, the founders of the republic have been hailed and lionized by left, right, and center for—in effect—creating the first apartheid state.
** [[Gerald Horne]], ''The Counter-Revolution of 1776: Slave Resistance and the Origins of the United States of America'' ([[w:New York University Press|New York University Press]]: 2014), p. 4

* The Americans are great peoples. The Americans are optimistic, full of enterprising drive, down to earth, and innovative. In just over 200 years, they have turned the United States into the most [[developed country]] in the world, and made phenomenal achievements in {{w|economic development}} and [[science]] and [[technology]].
** [[Hu Jintao|Jintao Hu]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20130503110022/http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2006/04/20060420.html &quot;President Bush and President Hu of People's Republic of China Participate in Arrival Ceremony &quot;] (20 April 2006), Washington, D.C.: White House.

* The United States is the worldwide beacon of free elections and the republican form of government... We've been holding elections in the U.S. for the past 223 years.
** [[w:Mike Hubbard (politician)|Mike Hubbard]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20130911132835/http://yellowhammernews.com/blog/hubbard-moves-to-block-united-nations-poll-watchers-from-operating-in-alabama/ &quot;Hubbard Moves to Block United Nations Poll Watchers from Operating in Alabama&quot;] (22 October 2012), by Cliff Sims, ''Yellow Hammer News'', Alabama

* There does exist a distinctly American way of life which properly ought to be preserved. But it is not defined by race. The American way of life is defined by philosophy. To be American in the spiritual sense is to affirm 'that all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights.' There is nothing racial in that conviction. Anyone, from any background, can adopt it... The American nation emerged unique, defined not by its shared ethnic or racial or religious identity, but by its shared allegiance to liberty... [R]acism should be opposed, not because it offends, but because it denies the nature of human beings as individuals and places a group above them. Collectivism comes in many forms, with beneficiaries defined on different terms. But whether it's the nation, the race, the faith, the tribe, or any other overriding entity, no group has the right to subordinate individuals, ever, under any circumstances. That is the American way of life.
** Walter Hudson, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160607041718/https://pjmedia.com/trending/2016/06/03/the-alt-right-is-evil-and-must-be-opposed/?singlepage=true &quot;The Alt-Right Is Evil and Must Be Opposed&quot;] (3 June 2016), ''PJ Media''

* To remain the world's shining city on a hill and beacon of hope to many, we should have our arms open to those who are fleeing oppression and seeking safety, not turning them away at the door.
** Randy Hultgren, [https://hultgren.house.gov/newsroom/press-releases/hultgren-statement-on-executive-order-on-visas-and-immigration Statement on Executive Order] (2017)

* The United States is a country rich in many things, but poor in knowledge of itself with regard to language.
** [[w:Dell Hymes|Dell Hymes]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=adYLAQAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT454&amp;lpg=PT454&amp;dq=john+rickford+finn&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=sAU6bau6zy&amp;sig=UzK_s_y52sZgD1gBdeJXvZ9Jclc&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiYzofqnOvJAhVCdz4KHYtADtMQ6AEIRTAI#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Language in the USA''] (1981)

==I==
* What constitutes an American? Not color nor race nor religion. Not the pedigree of his family nor the place of his birth. Not the coincidence of his citizenship. Not his social status nor his bank account. Not his trade nor his profession. An American is one who loves justice and believes in the dignity of man. An American is one who will fight for his freedom and that of his neighbor. An American is one who will sacrifice... An American is one in whose heart is engraved the immortal second sentence of the ''Declaration of Independence''. Americans have always known how to fight for their rights and their way of life. Americans are not afraid to fight. They fight joyously in a just cause.
** [[Harold L. Ickes]], [http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/ickes.htm What Is An American?] (18 May 1941)

* Working side by side, in war and peace! Catholics, Protestants, Jews.
** [[w:Institute for American Democracy|Institute for American Democracy]], [http://digitalcollections.mcmaster.ca/institute-american-democracy-poster-1945 &quot;Working Side By Side!&quot;] (1945), ''Institute for American Democracy'', Institute for American Democracy

==J==
[[File:Stop Police Terror Project DC Rally 8089890.JPG|thumb|The essence of a U.S.A. [[totalitarian]] socio-political [[capitalism]] is concealed behind the [[illusion]] of a mass participatory [[society]]. We must rip away its [[mask]]. ~ [[George L. Jackson]]]]
[[File:New_York_Police_Department_officers.jpg|thumb|You don't have to bribe the police here; they're satisfied. ~ Tamar Jacoby]]
[[File:United_States_Declaration_of_Independence.jpg|thumb|[[w:United States|We]] hold these truths to be self-evident, that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]]. ~ [[Thomas Jefferson]]]]
[[File:Great Seal of the United States (reverse).svg|thumb|Above the pyramid on the great seal of the United States it says, in Latin, 'God has favored our undertaking'. God will not favor everything that we do. It is rather our duty to divine his will. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:US Army 52416 The American Soldier, 1781.jpg|thumb|This was the first nation in the history of the world to be founded with a purpose. The great phrases of that purpose still sound in every American heart, north and south. All men are created equal. Government by consent of the governed. Give me liberty or give me death. Well, those are not just clever words, or those are not just empty theories. In their name Americans have fought and died. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:US Navy 101009-N-7191M-072 Sailors take the oath of allegiance during a naturalization ceremony in the foc'sle aboard the aircraft carrier USS Geor.jpg|thumb|We are one nation and one people. Our fate as a nation and our future as a people rest not upon one citizen, but upon all citizens. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:Parade in Disney Village 3.jpg|thumb|For every generation, there is a destiny. For some, history decides. For this generation, the choice must be our own. Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country. To right wrong, to do justice, to serve man. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:ArlingtonCemetery.jpg|thumb|To deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth&amp;ndash;is not only to do injustice, it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:An Appeal to Heaven Flag.svg|thumb|At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom. So it was at [[w:Battles of Lexington and Concord|Lexington and Concord]]. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
[[File:The March to Valley Forge William Trego.png|thumb|Americans of every race and color have died in battle to protect our freedom. Americans of every race and color have worked to build a nation of widening opportunities. Now our generation of Americans has been called on to continue the unending search for justice within our own borders. We believe that all men are created equal. ~ [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]]]
* As sons of freedom [[w:African American|you]] are now called upon to defend your most inestimable blessing. As Americans, [[w:United States|your country]] looks with confidence on [[w:African American|her adopted children]], for a valorous support, as a faithful return for the advantages enjoyed under her mild and equitable government.
** [[Andrew Jackson]], in New Orleans, Louisiana, 1814. As quoted in ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20111029143820/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps7.htm The Life of Andrew Jackson]'' (1967), by John Spencer Bassett, Archon Books. p. 156-157.

* Our Federal Union! It must be preserved!
** [[Andrew Jackson]], toast at a celebration of [[Thomas Jefferson]]'s birthday (13 April 1830); as quoted in ''Public Men and Events from the Commencement of Mr. Monroe's Administration, in 1817, to the Close of Mr. Fillmore's Administration, in 1853'' (1875) by Nathan Sargent.

* To say that any state may at pleasure secede from the Union, is to say that the United States are not a nation because it would be a solecism to contend that any part of a nation might dissolve its connection with the other parts, to their injury or ruin, without committing any offense.
** [[Andrew Jackson]], ''[[s:President Jackson's Proclamation against the Nullification Ordinance of South Carolina|Proclamation against the Nullification Ordinance of South Carolina]]'' (11 December 1832).

* The fascist arrangement tolerates the existence of no valid revolutionary activity. It has programmed into its very nature a massive, complex and automatic defense mechanism for all our old methods for raising the consciousness of a potentially revolutionary class of people. The essence of a U.S.A. totalitarian socio-political capitalism is concealed behind the illusion of a mass participatory society. We must rip away its mask. Then the debate can end, and we can enter a new phase of struggle based on the development of an armed revolutionary culture that will triumph. 
** [[George Jackson (activist)|George L. Jackson]], ''Blood in My Eye'' (1971)
*America is not like a blanket -- one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread. The [[White people|white]], the [[w:Hispanic|Hispanic]], the [[Black people|black]], the [[Arabs|Arab]], the [[Judaism|Jew]], the [[Women|woman]], the [[w:Native Americans in the United States|native American]], the small farmer, the [[businessperson]], the [[Environmentalism|environmentalist]], the peace activist, the [[Youth|young]], the [[old]], the [[lesbian]], the [[gay]], and the [[Disability|disabled]] make up the American quilt.
**[[Jesse Jackson]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/jessejackson1984dnc.htm 1984 Democratic National Convention Address], delivered 18 July 1984, San Francisco

* Once they see that you don't have to bribe the police here, they're satisfied.
**[[w:Tamar Jacoby|Tamar Jacoby]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/420974/trump-sideshow-plays-right-democrats-hands-mona-charen ''ImmigrationWorksUSA'']

* I'm not disgusted. I'm a citizen of the United States of America and I'm no second-class citizen either and no man here is, unless he thinks like one and reasons like one and performs like one. This is my country and I believe in her, and I will serve her, and I'll contribute to her welfare whenever and however I can. If she has any ills, I'll stand by her until in God's given time, through her wisdom and her consideration for the welfare of the entire nation, she will put them right.
** [[Daniel James Jr.]], as quoted in ''The Right to Fight: A History of African Americans in The Military'' (1998), by Gerald Astor, De Capo Press, pp. 440–443

* Among us English-speaking peoples especially do the praises of poverty need once more to be boldly sung. We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise any one who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition. We have lost the power even of imagining what the ancient idealization of poverty could have meant: the liberation from material attachments, the unbribed soul, the manlier indifference, the paying our way by what we are or do and not by what we have, the right to fling away our life at any moment irresponsibly,—the more athletic trim, in short, the moral fighting shape. When we of the so-called better classes are scared as men were never scared in history at material ugliness and hardship; when we put off marriage until our house can be artistic, and quake at the thought of having a child without a bank-account and doomed to manual labor, it is time for thinking men to protest against so unmanly and irreligious a state of opinion.
** [[William James]], ''[[w:The Varieties of Religious Experience|The Varieties of Religious Experience]]'' (1920), p. 368.

* There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a [[flag]]. Patriots serve. Patriots vote. Patriots attend meetings in their community. Patriots pay attention to the actions of government and speak out when needed. Patriots teach their children about our history, our precious democracy and about citizenship. Being an active, engaged citizen means being a patriotic American every day. No [[law]] will make a citizen a patriot.
** [[Jesse Ventura|James Janos]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20020601183408/http://www.freedomforum.org/templates/document.asp?documentID=16297 Explaining his veto] of a bill [HF 2598*/SF 2411/CH 391] requiring public school students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at least once a week (22 May 2002).

* The Americans are the first people whom heaven has favored with an opportunity of deliberating upon and choosing forms of government under which they should live.
** [[John Jay]], [http://www.johnjayinstitute.org/resources/publications/john-jays-charge-to-the-grand-jury-of-ulster-county-1777-and-charge-to-the/ ''Charge to the Grand Jury of Ulster County''] (1777).

* As a nation we have made peace and war, as a nation we have vanquished our common enemies. As a nation we have formed alliances, and made treaties, and entered into various compacts and conventions with foreign states.
** [[John Jay]], [[s:Federalist No. 2|Federalist No. 2]] (31 October 1787), ''[[w:The Federalist Papers|The Federalist Papers]]''.

* Christianity neither is, nor ever was, a part of the common law.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://oll.libertyfund.org/Texts/Jefferson0136/Works/0054-01_Bk.pdf  Vol.&amp;nbsp;1 ''Whether Christianity is Part of the Common Law'' (1764)]. Published in [http://oll.libertyfund.org/ToC/0054.php ''The Works of Thomas Jefferson in Twelve Volumes''], Federal Edition, [[w:Paul Leicester Ford|Paul Leicester Ford]], ed., New&amp;nbsp;York: G.&amp;nbsp;P. Putnam's Sons, 1904, p.&amp;nbsp;459.

* [[w:United States|We]] hold these truths to be self-evident, that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]].
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], ''Declaration of Independence of the United States of America'' (1776).

* We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], ''Declaration of Independence of the United States of America'' (1776).

* We shall divert through our own Country a branch of commerce which the European States have thought worthy of the most important struggles and sacrifices, and in the event of peace... we shall form to the American union a barrier against the dangerous extension of the British Province of Canada and add to the Empire of liberty an extensive and fertile Country thereby converting dangerous Enemies into valuable friends.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://wiki.monticello.org/mediawiki/index.php/Empire_of_liberty Letter to George Rogers Clark] (25 December 1780).

* It should be [[w:United States|our]] endeavor to cultivate the [[peace]] and [[friendship]] of every [[nation]], even of that which has injured us most, when we shall have carried our point against her. Our interest will be to throw open the doors of [[commerce]], and to knock off all its shackles, giving perfect [[freedom]] to all persons for the vent of whatever they may choose to bring into our ports, and asking the same in theirs. Never was so much false arithmetic employed on any subject, as that which has been employed to persuade nations that it is their interest to go to [[war]].
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], ''[[Notes on the State of Virginia]]'' (1785), Query XXII.

* The acquisition of Canada this year, as far as the neighborhood of Quebec, will be a mere matter of marching, and will give us experience for the attack of Halifax the next, and the final expulsion of England from the American continent.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], statement during an early stage of the [[w:War of 1812|War of 1812]], in a letter to William Duane (4 August 1812).

* [[w:United States|This]] is [[w:African American|your]] country as well as anybody else's country. This country is founded upon the principle of equality. He that is meritorious and virtuous, intellectual and well informed, must stand highest, without regard to color.
** [[Andrew Johnson]] (1865), as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20110316175449/http://home.nas.com/lopresti/ps17.htm ''Andrew Johnson: A Profile''] (1969), &quot;Johnson and the Negro&quot;, by Lawanda Cox and John H. Cox; edited by Eric L. McKitrick, Hill &amp; Wang, New York pp. 141.

* I always feel quite [[w:United States|American]], I just grew up in [[Germany]].
** [[w:Fabian Johnson|Fabian Marco Johnson]], as quoted in [http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/may/05/usmnts-fabian-johnson-interview-i-always-felt-american-i-just-grew-up-in-germany &quot;USMNT's Fabian Johnson interview&quot;] (5 May 2015), by Jack Kerr, ''The Guardian'', United Kingdom.

* I think most of the people were just happy about it, that I took the chance to play for [[w:United States|the U.S.]] They were just trying to support me however they can.
** [[w:Fabian Johnson|Fabian Marco Johnson]], as quoted in [http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/may/05/usmnts-fabian-johnson-interview-i-always-felt-american-i-just-grew-up-in-germany &quot;USMNT's Fabian Johnson interview&quot;] (5 May 2015), by Jack Kerr, ''The Guardian'', United Kingdom.

* Amerika faces no meaningful threat to its security except from those who live within its own territorial borders. The domestic upheavals of the 1960’s and 70’s taught empire some valuable lessons on just how dangerous an informed and discontent population can be. As a result, and through a steady application of misinformation, carrots, and sticks, empire has worked steadily to drain the focus, resolve, and militancy of the informed and discontented. From that point to this, empire has manufactured a discontinuity in popular struggle, while maintaining continuity in its own growth and consolidation. One of the empire’s principal tools and weapons has been its prisons.
** [[Kevin Rashid Johnson]], ''Defying the Tomb: Selected Prison Writings and Art of Kevin Rashid Johnson'' (2010)

* And let all know we will extend no special privilege and impose no persecution. We will carry on the fight against poverty, and misery, and disease, and ignorance, in other lands and in our own. We will serve all the nation, not one section or one sector, or one group, but all Americans. These are the United States: A united people with a united purpose. Our American unity does not depend upon unanimity. We have differences; but now, as in the past, we can derive from those differences strength, not weakness, wisdom, not despair. Both as a people and a government, we can unite upon a program, a program which is wise and just, enlightened and constructive.
** Lyndon B. Johnson, [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lbjletuscontinue.html Let Us Continue], delivered 27 November 1963, U.S. Capitol Building, Washington, D.C.
* The challenge of the next half century is whether we have the wisdom to use that wealth to enrich and elevate our national life, and to advance the quality of our American civilization.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], remarks at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (22 May 1964), as quoted in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1963–64'', book 1, p. 704.

* Fuck your parliament and your constitution. America is an elephant. Cyprus is a flea. [[Greece]] is a flea. If these two fleas continue itching the elephant, they may just get whacked good. We pay a lot of good American dollars to the Greeks, Mister Ambassador. If your Prime Minister gives me talk about democracy, parliament and constitution, he, his parliament and his constitution may not last long.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], comment to the Greek ambassador to the United States, Alexander Matsas, over the Cypriot issue (June 1964). As quoted in ''I Should Have Died'' (1977) by Philip Deane, pp. 113-114.

* Americans of every race and color have died in battle to protect our freedom. Americans of every race and color have worked to build a nation of widening opportunities. Now our generation of Americans has been called on to continue the unending search for justice within our own borders. We believe that all men are created equal. Yet many are denied equal treatment. We believe that all men have certain unalienable rights. Yet many Americans do not enjoy those rights. We believe that all men are entitled to the blessings of liberty. Yet millions are being deprived of those blessings--not because of their own failures, but because of the color of their skin. The reasons are deeply embedded in history and tradition and the nature of man. We can understand--without rancor or hatred--how this all happened. But it cannot continue. Our Constitution, the foundation of our Republic, forbids it. The principles of our freedom forbid it. Morality forbids it.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/speeches.hom/640702.asp bill signing speech] (2 July 1964).

* We are one nation and one people. Our fate as a nation and our future as a people rest not upon one citizen, but upon all citizens. This is the majesty and the meaning of this moment. For every generation, there is a destiny. For some, history decides. For this generation, the choice must be our own. Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country. To right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres57.html inaugural address] (20 January 1965).

* In this same month ninety-five years ago, on March 30, 1870, the Constitution of the United States was amended for the fifteenth time to guarantee that no citizen of our land should be denied the right to vote because of race or color. The command of the [[w:Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifteenth Amendment]] is unequivocal and its equal force upon State Governments and the Federal Government is unarguable. Section 1 of this Amendment provides: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shah not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude. By the oath I have taken 'to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States', duty directs, and strong personal conviction impels, that I advise the Congress that action is necessary, and necessary now, if the Constitution is to be upheld and the rights of all citizens are not to be mocked, abused and denied.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26806&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''Special Message to the Congress on the Right To Vote''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom. So it was at [[w:Battles of Lexington and Concord|Lexington and Concord]]... There is no cause for self-satisfaction in the long denial of equal rights of millions of Americans. But there is cause for hope and for faith in our democracy... For the cries of pain and the hymns and protests of oppressed people have summoned into convocation all the majesty of this great Government, the government of [[w:United States|the greatest nation on Earth]]. Our mission is at once the oldest and the most basic of this country. To right wrong, to do justice, to serve man.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* This was the first nation in the history of the world to be founded with a purpose. The great phrases of that purpose still sound in every American heart, North and South. 'All men are created equal', 'government by consent of the governed', 'give me liberty or give me death'. Well, those are not just clever words, or those are not just empty theories. In their name Americans have fought and died for two centuries, and tonight around the world they stand there as guardians of our liberty, risking their lives. Those words are a promise to every citizen that he shall share in the dignity of man. This dignity cannot be found in a man's possessions; it cannot be found in his power, or in his position. It really rests on his right to be treated as a man equal in opportunity to all others. It says that he shall share in freedom, he shall choose his leaders, educate his children, and provide for his family according to his ability and his merits as a human being.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* There is no southern problem; there is no northern problem. There is only an [[w:United States|American]] problem, and we are met here tonight as Americans. Not as [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrats]] or [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]]; we are met here as [[w:United States|Americans]] to solve [[Bigotry|that problem]]... To deny a man his hopes because of his color or race, his religion or the place of his birth&amp;ndash;is not only to do injustice, it is to deny America and to dishonor the dead who gave their lives for American freedom. Our fathers believed that if this noble view of the rights of man was to flourish, it must be rooted in democracy. The most basic right of all was the right to choose your own leaders. The history of this country, in large measure, is the history of the expansion of that right to all of our people.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* All Americans must have the privileges of citizenship regardless of race. And they are going to have those privileges of citizenship regardless of race. But I would like to caution you and remind you that to exercise these privileges takes much more than just legal right. It requires a trained mind and a healthy body. It requires a decent home, and the chance to find a job, and the opportunity to escape from the clutches of poverty. Of course, people cannot contribute to the Nation if they are never taught to read or write, if their bodies are stunted from hunger, if their sickness goes untended, if their life is spent in hopeless poverty just drawing a welfare check. So we want to open the gates to opportunity. But we are also going to give all our people, black and white, the help that they need to walk through those gates.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* Every American citizen must have an equal right to vote. There is no reason which can excuse the denial of that right. There is no duty which weighs more heavily on us than the duty we have to ensure that right... It is wrong, deadly wrong, to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote in this country. There is no issue of states' rights or national rights. There is only the struggle for human rights... Above the pyramid on the great seal of the United States it says, in Latin: 'God has favored our undertaking.' God will not favor everything that we do. It is rather our duty to divine His will. But I cannot help believing that He truly understands and that He really favors the undertaking that we begin here tonight.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* Those wishing to immigrate to America shall be admitted on the basis of their skills and their close relationship to those already here. This is a simple test, and it is a fair test. Those who can contribute most to this country; to its growth, to its strength, to its spirit; will be the first that are admitted to this land. The fairness of this standard is so self-evident that we may well wonder that it has not always been applied. Yet the fact is that for over four decades the immigration policy of the United States has been twisted and has been distorted by the harsh injustice of the national origins quota system. Under that system the ability of new immigrants to come to America depended upon the country of their birth. Only 3 countries were allowed to supply 70 percent of all the immigrants. Families were kept apart because a husband or a wife or a child had been born in the wrong place. Men of needed skill and talent were denied entrance because they came from southern or eastern Europe or from one of the developing continents. This system violated the basic principle of American democracy; the principle that values and rewards each man on the basis of his merit as a man. It has been un-American in the highest sense, because it has been untrue to the faith that brought thousands to these shores even before we were a country. Today, with my signature, this system is abolished. We can now believe that it will never again shadow the gate to the American Nation with the twin barriers of prejudice and privilege. Our beautiful America was built by a nation of strangers. From a hundred different places or more they have poured forth into an empty land, joining and blending in one mighty and irresistible tide. The land flourished because it was fed from so many sources--because it was nourished by so many cultures and traditions and peoples. And from this experience, almost unique in the history of nations, has come America's attitude toward the rest of the world. We, because of what we are, feel safer and stronger in a world as varied as the people who make it up; a world where no country rules another and all countries can deal with the basic problems of human dignity and deal with those problems in their own way. Now, under the monument which has welcomed so many to our shores, the American nation returns to the finest of its traditions today. The days of unlimited immigration are past. But those who do come will come because of what they are, and not because of the land from which they sprung.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill] (3 October 1965).

* Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all Americans. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for immigration the Congress proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill] (3 October 1965).

*There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace.
**[[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966).

* I am a free man, an American, a public servant, and a member of my party, in that order always and only. For 37 years in the service of our Nation, first as a Congressman, as a Senator, and as Vice President, and now as your President, I have put the unity of the people first. I have put it ahead of any divisive partisanship. And in these times as in times before, it is true that a house divided against itself by the spirit of faction, of party, of region, of religion, of race, is a house that cannot stand.
** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], [[w:October surprise|October surprise]] [http://millercenter.virginia.edu/scripps/diglibrary/prezspeeches/johnson/lbj_1968_0331.html address to the nation] (31 March 1968). An allusion to the [[w:Lincoln's House Divided Speech|Abraham Lincoln's House Divided Speech]] and a reference to the Gospel of Matthew, 12:25: &quot;[Every] city or house divided against itself shall not stand.&quot;

* [[England|English]] superiority and American obedience.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], as quoted in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/1-55786-664-3 ''The Life of Samuel Johnson''] (1994), by Robert DeMaria, Jr., Oxford: Blackwell, pp. 252–256.
*A nation is formed by the willingness of each of us to share in the responsibility for upholding the [[common good]]. A government is invigorated when each one of us is willing to participate in shaping the future of this nation. In this election year, we must define the &quot;common good''&quot;'' and begin again to shape a common future. Let each person do his or her part. If one citizen is unwilling to participate, all of us are going to suffer. For the American idea, though it is shared by all of us, is realized in each one of us.
**[[Barbara Jordan]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/barbarajordan1976dnc.html 1976 Democratic National Convention Keynote Address], delivered 12 July 1976, New York, NY

* Thus the American presents a strange picture: a European with Negro behaviour and an Indian soul.
** [[w:Carl Jung|Carl Jung]], ''Civilization in Transition'' (1964), tr. R. F. C. Hull, London: Routledge &amp; Kegan Paul, p. 46.

==K==
[[File:101110-N-6477M-070 Veteran's Day Naturalization Ceremony aboard USS Midway.jpg|thumb|[[w:Eurasia|The old world]] is engaged in a struggle to find a way by which each race living on its own soil, separated by definite national boundaries, can be assured freedom and peace in the full development of its national life and in the realization of international opportunities. The task of America is different. It is for her to find the way by which these races, living on one soil, under one form of government, with no territorial lines, can be assimilated and become a part of her integral national life. ~ [[Frances Kellor]]]]
[[File:DetroitSkyline.jpg|thumb|Every man lives in his neighborhood, and beyond his home and his job. To most men, except in the largest cities, the municipality is interpreted in terms of his neighborhood. Few men get beyond this except through occasional excursions into the larger world. America is a country of parallel neighborhoods; the native American in one section and the immigrant in another. Americanization is the elimination of the parallel line. So long as the American [[Bigotry|thinks that a house in his street is too good for his immigrant neighbor and tolerates discriminations in sanitation, housing, and enforcement of municipal laws]], he can serve on all Americanization committees that exist and still fail in his efforts ~ [[Frances Kellor]]]]
[[File:USS Constitution vs Guerriere.jpg|thumb|America... commands respect throughout the world not only for its strength but for its civilization as well. ~ [[John F. Kennedy|John Fitzgerald Kennedy]]]]
[[File:Infantry, Continental Army, 1779-1783.jpg|thumb|This nation was founded by men of many nations and backgrounds. It was founded on the principle that all men are created equal, and that the rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened. ~ [[John Fitzgerald Kennedy]]]]
[[File:Battle erie.jpg|thumb|Our goal is freedom, and I believe we are going to get there because however much she strays away from it, the goal of America is [[freedom]]. ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]]]]
[[File:Seal of the President of the United States.svg|thumb|The United States is a monarchy with an elective king. ~ ''The Knoxville Journal'']]
* Thus are assaults on patriotism failures of character. They are made by privileged people who enjoy the full benefits offered by the country they deride and detest, but they lack the basic decency to pay it the allegiance and respect that honor demands. But honor, of course, is also an object of their derision... In the long and deadly battle against those who hate... and hate America in particular, we must be powerfully armed, morally as well as materially. To sustain us through the worst times we need courage and unity, and these must rest on a justified and informed patriotism.
** [[w:Donald Kagan|Donald Kagan]], [http://friesian.com/antiam.htm &quot;Democracy Requires a Patriotic Education&quot;] (28 September 2014), ''The Wall Street Journal'', p. A13.

* The dismissiveness of Americans never ceases to exasperate me... Americans reflexively believe that had [[Germany]] occupied the United States, nearly all of us would have joined an armed resistance to the Nazis. That's what I thought, too, when I was 16. But that reflects a hopelessly naive view, both of what the world looked like to most people after the Nazis had conquered Austria, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Holland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Denmark, Norway and France, and of what it actually meant to take up arms against an occupying power.
** [[w:Charles Kaiser|Charles Kaiser]], [http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/06/opinions/kaiser-ve-day-french-resistance/index.html &quot;What Americans forget about French resistance&quot;] (7 May 2015), ''Cable News Network'', Atlanta, Georgia.

* A British vessel, stopping on the way back from India at the Comoro Islands in the Mozambique Channel, finds the native inhabitants in revolt against their Arab masters; and when they ask why they have taken arms, are told, 'America is free, could not we be?'
** [[w:Gijsbert Karel van Hogendorp|Gijsbert Karel, Count van Hogendorp]], in 1784, as quoted in &quot;The age of the democratic revolution: a political history of Europe and America, 1760-1860&quot; (1969), by Robert Roswell Palmer.

* The United States is a very different thing. It's a continent-spanning nation built from scratch by millions of immigrants from every part of the world on top of its native population.
** [[Garry Kasparov]], [https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Coming-Vladimir-Enemies-Stopped/dp/1610396200/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=&amp;sr= ''Winter is Coming''], p. 42

* [P]oorest people in America live better by and large than dukes and princes.
** [[Leon Kass]], [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/leon-kass/ interview with Bill Kristol] (2015), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/leon-kass-transcript/ transcript]

*This [Australian] society of ours is better than the United States. It’s more even, it’s more fair, we’ve had a 50% increase in real income in the last 20 years. Median America has had zero, zero... We don’t shoot our children in schools and if they were to be shot we’d take the guns off the people who shot them. The Americans do not do this... The idea that… we are some sort of subordinate outfit that has to get a signal from abroad before we think of ours is a complete denial of everything we have created here.
**[[Paul Keating]], [https://www.pedestrian.tv/news/former-pm-paul-keating-just-delivered-some-much-needed-perspective-on-trump/ Former PM Paul Keating Just Delivered Some Much-Needed Perspective On Trump By Matilda Douglas-Henry, ''Pedestrian''] November 10, 2016

* 59 million immigrants have arrived in the United States since 1965, making the nation the top destination in the world for those moving from one country to another.
** Michael Keegan and Jens Michael Krogstad, [http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/10/07/a-shift-from-germany-to-mexico-for-americas-immigrants/ &quot;From Germany to Mexico: How America's source of immigrants has changed over a century&quot;] (7 October 2015), ''Pew Research Center''

* There are accepted definitions of Americanism. There is none of Americanization. The reason is not hard to find. There is in America a national impulse called Americanization, which was understood as a war necessity before it had developed in time of peace. It acquired a generalization before it had become specific. It was subjected to organization and committed to the achievement of results before it was a branch of knowledge fairly evolved and reduced to practice. There is no science of race assimilation. No nation has had a sufficiently free opportunity with many diverse races to establish its enduring principles and certain procedure. America has this opportunity in her thirty-five different races speaking fifty-four languages, of whom 13,000,000 are foreign-born. One third of her total population has its roots in other soils and in diverse cultures. She has the laboratory for the experiment in her wide expanse of territory, much of it still unsettled; in the elasticity of her institutions; and in the still formative state of her cultural life. [[w:Eurasia|The old world]] is engaged in a struggle to find a way by which each race living on its own soil, separated by definite national boundaries, can be assured freedom and peace in the full development of its national life and in the realization of international opportunities. The task of America is different. It is for her to find the way by which these races, living on one soil, under one form of government, with no territorial lines, can be assimilated and become a part of her integral national life.
** [[Frances Kellor]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;What is Americanization?&quot;] (January 1919), ''Yale Review''.

* Americanization is the process, then, of guaranteeing these fundamental requisites to each man, native and foreign-born alike, and just in proportion as the English language and citizenship interpret these requisites, they are Americanization agencies. The failure of Americanization in the past years is identical with the failure of these guarantees. It is in the home, the shop, the neighborhood, the church, and the court that Americanization is wrought, and the mutual relations of races in America as expressed in them will give the eternal principles of race assimilation that we seek.
** [[Frances Kellor]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;What is Americanization?&quot;] (January 1919), ''Yale Review''.

* Every man lives in his neighborhood, and beyond his home and his job. To most men, except in the largest cities, the municipality is interpreted in terms of his neighborhood. Few men get beyond this except through occasional excursions into the larger world. America is a country of parallel neighborhoods; the native American in one section and the immigrant in another. Americanization is the elimination of the parallel line. So long as the American [[Bigotry|thinks that a house in his street is too good for his immigrant neighbor and tolerates discriminations in sanitation, housing, and enforcement of municipal laws]], he can serve on all Americanization committees that exist and still fail in his efforts. The immigrant neighborhood is often made up of people who have come from one province in the old country. Inevitably the culture of that neighborhood will be that of the old country; its language will persist and its traditions will flourish. It is not that we undervalue these, or desire to discredit them. But separated from the land and surroundings that gave them birth, from the history that cherishes them, they do not remain the strong, beautiful things they were on the other side. These aliens may retain some of the form of culture of the land of their birth long after its spirit has departed or has lost its savor in a new atmosphere. New opportunities, strange conditions, unforeseen adjustments, necessary sacrifices, and forces unseen and not understood affect the immigrant and his life here, and unless this culture is connected and fused with that of the new world, it loses its vitality or becomes corrupt.
** [[Frances Kellor]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;What is Americanization?&quot;] (January 1919), ''Yale Review''.

* Americanization having its roots in political ideals cannot be achieved so long as these ideals, as interpreted by the sources of authority in America, mean one thing for the native-born and another thing for the foreign-born; one thing for men and another for women; one thing for employers and another for employees; one thing for the rich and another for the poor; one thing in one State and another thing in an adjoining State. No American who hopes for national unity can spend too much time insisting upon the most painstaking interpretation of the guarantees of American law, even though it takes him into such technical matters as interpreter service, cost of appeals, discriminatory laws, and race prejudices. Every support of a sound Americanism is strong or weak according as justice is done or not done.
** [[Frances Kellor]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;What is Americanization?&quot;] (January 1919), ''Yale Review''.

* America is no longer afraid of the word culture. In fact, it is considering quite seriously in some quarters having a culture of its own and calling it by that name. This makes it possible to consider as Americanization a recognition of the cultural forces in the various races as expressed in their literature and institutions. There is a growing appreciation of the fraternal and religious forces in the lives of the various races and their indispensable value in race fusion. In the old world, the cultural life of a race is so inextricably associated with their religious life that its first vital contact with American cultural life would seem to proceed along the lines of religious and fraternal development. 
** [[Frances Kellor]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;What is Americanization?&quot;] (January 1919), ''Yale Review''.

* [[w:United States|This nation]] was founded by men of many nations and backgrounds. It was founded on the principle that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]], and that the rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.
** [[John F. Kennedy]], Radio and television report to the American people on civil rights (11 June 1963), a quoted in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy'' (1963), p. 468.

* The United States, as the world knows, will never start a war. We do not want a war. We do not now expect a war. This generation of Americans has already had enough -- more than enough -- of war and hate and oppression. We shall be prepared if others wish it. We shall be alert to try to stop it. But we shall also do our part to build a world of peace where the weak are safe and the strong are just. We are not helpless before that task or hopeless of its success. Confident and unafraid, we must labor on -- not towards a strategy of annihilation but towards a strategy of peace.
** [[John F. Kennedy]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/jfkamericanuniversityaddress.html American University Commencement Address], delivered 10 June 1963, Washington, D.C.
* I look forward to an America which commands respect throughout the world not only for its strength but for its civilization as well. And I look forward to a world which will be safe not only for democracy and diversity but also for personal distinction.
** [[John F. Kennedy]], speech at Amherst College, (26 October 1963).

* The [[Irish]] were not wanted there... Now an Irish Catholic is president of the United States... There is no question about it. In the next 40 years a Negro can achieve the same position that my brother has... We have tried to make [[progress]] and we are making progress … we are not going to accept the status quo... The [[w:United States|United States]] [[government]] has taken steps to make sure that the [[constitution of the United States]] applies to [[all]] [[individuals]].
** [[Robert F. Kennedy]], as quoted in an AP report with lead summarizing of remarks stating &quot;Robert F. Kennedy said yesterday that the United States — despite Alabama violence — is moving so fast in race relations a Negro could be President in 40 years.&quot; [http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1946&amp;dat=19610527&amp;id=y40tAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=F50FAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=5424,5208719  &quot;Negro President in 40 Years?&quot; in ''Montreal Gazette'' (27 May 1961)]

* If you're a real American that is, an American Indian you're lucky to be alive. For whether he really believed it or not, the white man has acted on the principle that &quot;The only good Indian is a dead one&quot;. This was certainly one of the foundation stones upon which the white European invaders of North America and their descendants established and built the republic of the USA.
** [[:w:Stetson Kennedy|Stetson Kennedy]], ''Jim Crow Guide: The Way it Was'' (1955), Ch.1, &quot;No Room For Redskins&quot;.

* Most of the American laws defining race are not to be compared with those once enforced by Nazi Germany, the latter being relatively more liberal. In the view of the Nazis, persons having less than one fourth Jewish blood could qualify as Aryans, whereas many of the American laws specify that persons having one-eighth, one-sixteenth, or 'any ascertainable' Negro blood are Negroes in the eyes of the law and subject to all restrictions governing the conduct of Negroes.
** [[:w:Stetson Kennedy|Stetson Kennedy]],  ''Jim Crow Guide: The Way it Was'' (1955), Ch.4, &quot;Who is Colored Where&quot;.

* Were I to make the announcement and to run, the reasons I would run is because I have a great belief in this country [America]. … There’s more natural resources than any nation in the world; the greatest education population in the world; the greatest technology of any country in the world; the greatest capacity for innovation in the world; and the greatest political system in the world. 
** [[Ted Kennedy]] answer to “Why do you want to be President,” interview with Roger Mudd, CBS TV documentary (12 Oct 1979). In Jim Lehrer and James Lehrer, Tension City: Inside the Presidential Debates (2011), 184.

* Remember, boys and girls. Your school, like our country, is made up of Americans of many different races, religions, and national origins. So, if you hear anybody talk against a schoolmate or anyone else because of his religion, race, or national origin, don't wait. Tell him that kind of talk is un-American.
** [[Superman|Clark Kent]], [http://i.imgur.com/4T3wPxq.jpg &quot;Help Keep Your School All-American&quot;]&lt;!--http://www.hakes.com/item.asp?AuctionItemID=45031--&gt;&lt;!--http://www.reddit.com/r/MURICA/comments/1ygize/superman_knows_what_it_is_to_be_a_true_murican/--&gt; (1949), National Comics Publishing, Incorporated.

* I hope that there is no jealousy, or even ground of jealousy, on the part of the Americans, but that they know that when their rights come to be discussed here the greatest attention will be paid to their interests. They have long been acquainted with the habits of this country, and with the mode of administering justice here. Until within these few years their causes used to come over here to be discussed, and I never heard that the decisions in our Courts ever awakened the least jealousy in the breasts of the inhabitants of that country.
** [[Lloyd Kenyon, 1st Baron Kenyon|Lord Kenyon]], C.J., ''Wilson v. Marryat'' (1798), 8 T. R. 44, reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 13.

* [[w:United States|The U.S.]] is a nation built on immigration.
** [[w:Jack Kerr|Jack Kerr]], [http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/may/05/usmnts-fabian-johnson-interview-i-always-felt-american-i-just-grew-up-in-germany &quot;USMNT's Fabian Johnson interview&quot;] (5 May 2015), ''The Guardian'', United Kingdom.

* Praise the power that hath made and preserved us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just!
** [[Francis Scott Key]], &quot;[[w:The Star-Spangled Banner|The Star-Spangled Banner]]&quot; (1814).

* American democracy, maybe, cannot work in a country like mine, you know, in [[Vietnam|South Vietnam]].
** [[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://openvault.wgbh.org/catalog/vietnam-f2fe66-interview-with-nguyen-khanh-1981 &quot;Interview with Nguyen Khanh&quot;] (29 April 1981), WGBH Media Library &amp; Archives.

* [[South Korea|Korea]] likes to does whatever America does.
** [[w:Micky Kim|Micky Kim]], as quoted in [http://www.edition.cnn.com/2015/10/18/asia/south-korea-being-gay/index.html &quot;The problem with being gay in South Korea&quot;] (19 October 2015), by Kathy Novak, ''CNN''.

* American society, composed of diverse races and ethnicities, has a lot of tolerance of different kinds of people and can embrace them all as Americans. Korean society, however, is composed of a single ethnicity. It is more intolerant to people of different ethnicity and skin colors. Koreans have a strong bond to people of Korean ethnic origin even when, as in the case of the gunman, a large proportion of their upbringing took place in a different culture. That's why there is widespread mourning and collective guilt over the gunman's behavior and its consequences. It's doubtful whether the South Korean reaction will really help anyone... In its guilt-laden reaction to the Virginia Tech massacre South Korea may be muddling America's healing process. The American reaction is that the crime was committed by a single isolated individual who happened to be South Korean, and that it's not South Korea that committed the crime. But South Korea doesn't seem to make a distinction in this sense... Koreans are in shock and concerned that this incident will have a negative impact on South Korea's well-built reputation and the future treatment of all Koreans in America. But it's solely Korea's perspective, and it's an overreaction.
** Sae-jung Kim, [https://web.archive.org/web/20120618082412/http://english.ohmynews.com/articleview/article_view.asp?no=356853&amp;rel_no=1 &quot;South Korea's Reaction to the Virginia Tech Massacre: Koreans view American feelings through the lens of their own culture&quot;] (19 April 2007), ''OhMyNews: International''.

* My whole opinion about Americans changed completely while escaping from [[North Korea]]. While I was on my way to South Korea, I got caught by Chinese cops and was about to be sent back to North Korea. But thanks to some Americans from a non-profit organization, I was released from the Chinese prison holding North Korean refuges in order to send them back to North Korea. When I first found out about this, I couldn't believe that Americans helped and saved my life. They were so different from the kind of Americans were supposed to be. I couldn't believe that Americans took their time and money in order to help me of different race and nationality. It was hard for me to believe that Americans donated their money to help North Korean refugees like me. At first, I didn't believe all of this. But when my parents who had escaped before me and arrived in Thailand told me all about this in detail, I was so touched. I haven't forgotten how grateful I am since then. To this day, I still think that Americans are the people who saved my life.
** [[w:Kim Yoo-sung|Yoo-sung Kim]], as quoted in [http://www.nknews.org/2015/07/how-north-koreans-view-mixed-marriages/ &quot;How North Koreans view mixed marriages: Attitudes are changing&quot;] (1 July 2015), ''NK News''

* When my family escaped from North Korea, our final destination was America, not South Korea. The reason why we initially chose to immigrate to America was because we received help from an American civic group called [[w:Liberty in North Korea|LiNK]]. At the time my family left North Korea, it cost about $3,000 to take one person out of North Korea and bring them to the immigration office in Thailand. So, it cost approximately $9,000 for the three members of my family to escape from North Korea. Even when I was arrested by Chinese authorities, this American civic group paid to rescue me from the Chinese detention center. For these reasons, I’m still thankful for all the Americans who helped me. I think they literally saved my life. I'm opening with this story because, if I could turn back time, I would choose to immigrate to America, instead of South Korea... I had a chance to visit America in August 2014. To be honest, I didn't love New York City because it was too crowded, hectic and flamboyant. But I absolutely loved other parts of America I visited. They felt like paradise to me. If I could speak English and if U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services would allow me to immigrate to America, I would live in the U.S. rather than South Korea. I don’t know if it will ever happen. Right now, I will continue to work hard for my company so that I can be a valuable employee at the company.
** Yoo-sung Kim, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160414074548/https://www.nknews.org/2016/04/how-south-koreans-treat-north-koreans/ &quot;How South Koreans treat North Koreans&quot;] (13 August 2016), ''NK News''

* It's wrong to hate. It always has been wrong and it always will be wrong. It's wrong in America, it's wrong in [[Germany]], it's wrong in [[Russia]], it's wrong in [[China]]. It was wrong in 2000 B.C., and it's wrong in 1954 A.D. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong. It's wrong to throw our lives away in riotous living. No matter if everybody in [[Detroit]] is doing it, it's wrong. It always will be wrong, and it always has been wrong. It's wrong in every age and it's wrong in every nation. Some things are right and some things are wrong, no matter if everybody is doing the contrary.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/kingpapers/article/rediscovering_lost_values/ ''Rediscovering Lost Values''] (28 February 1954).

* We are struggling to save the soul of America. We are struggling to save America in this very important decisive hour of her history.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www5.spelman.edu/about_us/news/pdf/70622_messenger.pdf ''Keep Moving From This Mountain''] (11 April 1960), Spelman College.

* It is a trite yet urgently true observation that if America is to remain a first-class nation, it cannot have second-class citizens.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/primarydocuments/Vol5/6Sept1960_TheRisingTideofRacialConsciousnessAddressattheGold.pdf address at the Golden Anniversary Conference of the National Urban League] (6 September 1960), New York City, New York.

* We must work assiduously and with determined boldness to remove from the body politic this cancerous disease of discrimination which is preventing our democratic and Christian health from being realized. Then and only then will we be able to bring into full realization the dream of our American democracy, a dream yet unfulfilled. A dream of equality of opportunity, of privilege and property widely distributed; a dream of a land where men will not take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few; a dream of a land where men do not argue that the color of a man’s skin determines the content of his character, where they recognize that the basic thing about a man is not his specific but his fundamentum.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/primarydocuments/Vol5/6Sept1960_TheRisingTideofRacialConsciousnessAddressattheGold.pdf address at the Golden Anniversary Conference of the National Urban League] (6 September 1960), New York City, New York.

* The Declaration of Independence proclaimed to a world, organized politically and spiritually around the concept of the inequality of man, that the dignity of human personality was inherent in man as a living being. The Emancipation Proclamation was the offspring of the Declaration of Independence. It was a constructive use of the force of law to uproot a social order which sought to separate liberty from a segment of humanity. Our pride and progress could be unqualified if the story might end here. But history reveals that America has been a schizophrenic personality where these two documents are concerned. On the one hand she has proudly professed the basic principles inherent in both documents. On the other hand she has sadly practiced the antithesis of these principles.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www.nps.gov/anti/historyculture/mlk-ep.htm ''Emancipation Proclamation Centennial Address''] (12 September 1962).

* I have a dream this evening that one day we will recognize the words of [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]] that &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights]], that among these are [[Life]], [[Liberty]] and the pursuit of [[Happiness]].&quot; I have a dream this afternoon.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/doc_speech_at_the_great_march_on_detroit Cobo Center speech] (23 June 1963).

*Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in [[w:American Dream|the American dream]]. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]]'...
**[[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[[w:I Have A Dream|I Have A Dream]]'' (28 August 1963)
*This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, 'My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring', and if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of [[New Hampshire]]. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of [[New York State|New York]]. Let freedom ring from the heightening [[Allegheny Mountains|Alleghenies]] of [[Pennsylvania]]. Let freedom ring from the snow-capped [[w:Rocky Mountains|Rockies]] of [[w:Colorado|Colorado]]. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of [[California]]. But not only that: Let freedom ring from [[Stone Mountain]] of [[Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]]. Let freedom ring from [[w:Lookout Mountain|Lookout Mountain]] of [[Tennessee]]. Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of [[Mississippi]]. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[[w:I Have A Dream|I Have A Dream]]'' (28 August 1963)

* We must face the fact that in America, the church is still the most segregated major institution in America. At 11:00 on Sunday morning when we stand and sing and Christ has no east or west, we stand at the most segregated hour in this nation. This is tragic. Nobody of honesty can overlook this. Now, I'm sure that if the church had taken a stronger stand all along, we wouldn't have many of the problems that we have. The first way that the church can repent, the first way that it can move out into the arena of social reform is to remove the yoke of segregation from its own body.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www.wmich.edu/sites/default/files/attachments/MLK.pdf interview at the Herman W. Read Fieldhouse] (18 December 1963), Western Michigan University.

* In the past ten years unarmed gallant men and women of the United States have given living testimony to the moral power and efficacy of nonviolence. By the thousands, faceless, anonymous, relentless young people, black and white, have temporarily left the ivory towers of learning for the barricades of bias. Their courageous and disciplined activities have come as a refreshing oasis in a desert sweltering with the heat of injustice. They have taken our whole nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the founding fathers in the formulation of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. One day all of America will be proud of their achievements.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-lecture.html#footnote ''The Quest For Peace and Justice''] (11 December 1964).

* If the worst in American life lurked in its dark streets, the best of American instincts arose passionately from across the nation to overcome it.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/kingpapers/article/our_god_is_marching_on/ ''Our God Is Marching On!''] (25 March 1965).

* &lt;p&gt;We as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of [[racism]], [[Military|militarism]] and economic exploitation are incapable of being conquered...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Don't let anybody make you think God chose America as his divine messianic force to be a sort of policeman of the whole world.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article16183.htm ''Why I Am Opposed to the War in Vietnam''] (30 April 1967), Ebenezer Baptist Church, Atlanta, Georgia

* In the final analysis the weakness of Black Power is its failure to see that the black man needs the white man and the white man needs the black man. However much we may try to romanticize the slogan, there is no separate black path to power and fulfillment that dies not intersect white paths, and there is no separate white path to power and fulfillment, short of social disaster, that does not share that power with black aspirations for freedom and human dignity. We are bound together in a single garment of destiny. The language, the cultural patterns, the music, the material prosperity, and even the food of America are an amalgam of black and white.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''{{w|Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?}}'' (1967).

* Many of the ugly pages of American history have been obscured and forgotten. A society is always eager to cover misdeeds with a cloak of forgetfulness, but no society can fully repress an ugly past when the ravages persist into the present. America owes a debt of justice which it has only begun to pay.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''{{w|Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?}}'' (1967), p. 109.

* America, you must be born again... Let us be dissatisfied until America will no longer have a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/where_do_we_go_from_here_delivered_at_the_11th_annual_sclc_convention/ Where Do We Go from Here]'' (16 August 1967),  Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

* America stopped murder, but that is not the same thing as ordaining brotherhood; nor is the ending of lynch rule the same thing as inaugurating justice.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [https://www.apa.org/monitor/features/king-challenge.aspx ''The Role of the Behavioral Scientist in the Civil Rights Movement''] (September 1967).

* I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard, and what is it America has failed to hear?
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://www.gphistorical.org/mlk/mlkspeech/index.htm ''The Other America''] (14 March 1968).

* I say to you that our goal is freedom, and I believe we are going to get there because however much she strays away from it, the goal of America is freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be as a people, our destiny is tied up in the destiny of America.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution'' (31 March 1968).

* All we say to [[w:United States|America]] is: 'Be true to what you said on paper.' If I lived in [[China]] or even [[Russia]], or any totalitarian country, maybe I could understand the denial of certain basic First Amendment privileges, because they hadn't committed themselves to that over there. But somewhere I read of the freedom of assembly. Somewhere I read of the freedom of speech. Somewhere I read of the freedom of the press. Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right... Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination, and let us move on in these powerful days. These days of challenge to make America what it ought to be; we have an opportunity to make America a better nation.
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], [http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/ive_been_to_the_mountaintop/ ''I've Been to the Mountaintop''] (3 April 1968)

* [[Great Britain]] is a republic with a hereditary president, while the United States is a monarchy with an elective king. 
** ''The Knoxville Journal'' (9 February 1896), as quoted in [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=wwzqAwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=peter+hays+gries&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=HwpZVazmK_LW7Qan_YH4CQ&amp;ved=0CD0Q6AEwBA#v=onepage&amp;q=peter%20hays%20gries&amp;f=false &quot;The Politics of American Foreign Policy&quot;] by {{w|Peter Heys Gries}}, p. 170

* What gives me grounds for optimism is that this is the only country on the face of the Earth where if you tell a 10-year-old kid, &quot;You can't do&quot; something and it strikes him as absurd, a 10-year-old kid looks up and says &quot;It's a free country.&quot; This is the only nation on Earth whose children say &quot;It's a free country.&quot; It's going to take a whole lot to root that out of the American spirit.
** [[Alan Charles Kors]], [http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=qZsQMv08FSY#Who_s_Too_Weak_to_Live_With_Freedom__Prof__Alan_Charles_Kors_on_His_Fight_for_Free_Expression &quot;Who's too Weak to Live with Freedom?&quot;] (2013), ''TheFIREorg''

*The American people have virtually no say over when we go to war. These decisions are made in back rooms somewhere...The American people continue to be lied to about why we go to war, because again, one of the big reasons is simply for profit, and that's always been true to some extent, but now it is in a very naked way.
*[On the U.S. invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan] From a strategic point of view, it has to be seen as a complete failure, and yet it went on for 20 years, why did it go on for 20 years? Because the defense industry companies that make the bombs, that make the planes, that make the vehicles, and also the private military contractors that now are fighting the wars in lieu of public military personnel, they made trillions of dollars as long as the war continued. So they didn't care if the war was ever won, the goal was for the war to simply continue forever... the point is not to win the war, but to make sure it never ends because you're going to keep making profits.&lt;BR&gt;The U.S. is not advancing human rights through its military interventions. It's not advancing humanitarianism. In fact, it's undermining it in a huge way.
**[[Daniel Kovalik]] quoted in [http://www.china.org.cn/world/Off_the_Wire/2021-12/08/content_77918107.htm Interview: Some American wars fought &quot;simply for profit,&quot; sanctions also destructive, human rights lawyer says,  ''Xinhua,'']  December 8, 2021

*Some of the wars America fought were &quot;simply for profit&quot; and the sanctions it has imposed on certain countries have been as destructive as wars... Take Venezuela, which has suffered from U.S. sanctions for over 15 years, as an example. An estimated more than 40,000 people may have died in Venezuela from 2017 to 2018 as a result of U.S. sanctions that made it harder for ordinary citizens to access food, medicine, and medical equipment, according to a report published by the Center for Economic and Policy Research, a Washington, D.C.-based think tank, in 2019. The sanctions, Kovalik added, have also prevented Venezuela, which has the world's largest proven oil reserve, from &quot;maintaining its oil industry and maintaining its power grids. Sanction is war by another means...You're just denying the people the economic benefits of their industries, and also, again, you're denying them electricity, other infrastructure, again in much the same way that you could or would through actual military means.&quot;  However, most Americans don't see sanctions as war and they don't know the consequences so they &quot;tolerate it more&quot; and think the sanctions are &quot;somehow a legitimate form of coercion,&quot; according to Kovalik. &quot;When you look at the results, they're the same or similar to actual military warfare, but again, there are means that are more clandestine and do create more consent amongst the population of the Western world that might otherwise protest it,&quot; he concluded.
**[[Daniel Kovalik]] interviewed in [http://www.china.org.cn/world/Off_the_Wire/2021-12/08/content_77918107.htm Interview: Some American wars fought &quot;simply for profit,&quot; sanctions also destructive, human rights lawyer says,  ''Xinhua,'']  December 8, 2021

*Instead of taking responsibility for its own failings, the [[U. S. Government|US government]], and its [[Mainstream media|compliant media]], have taken to trying to scapegoat others... [[Russia]] is taking measures to confront the [[COVID-19 pandemic|pandemic]] which the US has failed to do, particularly in the epicentre of the pandemic, [[Moscow]]... far exceeds the efforts of the US which has yet to announce plans for mass testing of individuals for the virus...  &lt;BR&gt;The US has always prided itself at being number one in the world, and it continues to be number one in many categories – for example, the number of [[prisoners]] held in [[jails]], the most [[Mass shootings in the United States|mass shootings]], and the most costly and ineffective healthcare system in the industrialised world. And now, the US has the dubious distinction of being number one in terms of the number of COVID-19 cases and the number of people killed by COVID-19 
**[[Daniel Kovalik]]    quoted in  [https://sputniknews.com/analysis/202004211079045029-western-msm-chastise-russia-for-taking-timely-covid-measures-which-us--eu-failed-to-do--scholars/ Western MSM Chastise Russia For Taking Timely COVID Measures Which US &amp; EU Failed to Do  ''Sputnik News''],  (March 26, 2020)

*The US appears to be intentionally spreading chaos throughout strategic portions of the world, leaving virtually no independent state standing to protect their resources, especially oil, from Western exploitation. And, this goal is being achieved with resounding success, while also achieving the subsidiary goal of enriching the behemoth [[military-industrial complex]].
**[[Daniel Kovalik]]  quoted in [https://www.nationofchange.org/2019/07/30/book-review-the-plot-to-overthrow-venezuela-how-the-us-is-orchestrating-a-coup-for-oil-by-dan-kovalik/ Book Review: The Plot to Overthrow Venezuela: How the US is Orchestrating a Coup for Oil by Dan Kovalik, By John Rachel, ''Nation of Change''] -July 30, 2019

* The United States was founded on the principle that all human beings, by virtue of their shared human nature, possess equal natural rights. According to the ''[[Declaration of Independence]]'' and other founding documents, rights come from a creator, not government. Government's purpose is limited to protecting natural rights, which is the standard we use to judge governments. People may exercise their natural right 'to alter or to abolish' a government that violates, rather than protects, these rights. The political logic of the American Founding requires that a government of limited purpose should be a government of limited power. The U.S. Constitution and all state constitutions limit the power of government so that it better achieves its purpose, protecting rights, rather than threatening them.
** Thomas L. Krannawitter, [https://web.archive.org/web/20071011104239/http://www.claremont.org/publications/pubid.632/pub_detail.asp &quot;Racial Preferences Mean Big Government&quot;] (30 October 2006), ''Writings'', The Claremont Institute

* America has been described as an ongoing experiment in self-government, an experiment that can and will fail if the American people ever lose sight of the principles upon which America was founded. The same challenge faces our democratic friends around the world.
** Thomas L. Krannawitter, [https://web.archive.org/web/20071011105324/http://www.claremont.org/publications/precepts/id.80/precept_detail.asp &quot;Why Lincoln Still Matters&quot;] (11 February 2005), ''Precepts'', The Claremont Institute

==L==
[[File:AllardLowenstein.jpg|thumb|The only police state that I've ever seen function with such efficiency that in this country there was no way of even getting to notice it. ~ [[Allard K. Lowenstein]]]]
[[File:Lee Resolution.jpg|thumb|That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved. ~ [[w:Richard Henry Lee|Richard Lee]]]]
[[File:Declaration independence.jpg|thumb|Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on [[w:North America|this continent]], a [[w:United States|new nation]], conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]]. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:Abe-link.png|thumb|Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:Abe-link.png|thumb|Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:March_to_Vincennes.jpg|thumb|We have, as all will agree, a free government, where every man has a right to be equal with every other man. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:Fall_of_Fort_Sackville.jpg|thumb|This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:USS Zumwalt (DDG-1000) at night.jpg|thumb|What constitutes the bulwark of our own [[liberty]] and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, the guns of our war steamers, or the strength our gallant and disciplined army? These are not our reliance against a resumption of tyranny in our fair land. All of those may be turned against our liberties, without making us weaker or stronger for the struggle. Our reliance is in the love of liberty. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
[[File:2014 - USS Fitzgerald sailor during Family Day Cruise.jpg|thumb|Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. ~ [[Abraham Lincoln]]]]
* America is a multi-ethnic and religious nation, a country of freedom.
** Ali Al Lami, as quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/iraqis-fighting-isis-alongside-american-troops-criticize-ban-on-entering-us/ &quot;Iraqis fighting ISIS alongside U.S. troops criticize new ban on entering U.S.&quot;] (25 January 2017), ''CBS News'' 

* Protect every citizen, including the millions of people of foreign birth who will flock to our shores to become citizens and to find here a land of liberty and law.
** [[w:William Lawrence (Ohio Republican)|William Lawrence]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=Bxo-AQAAMAAJ&amp;dq=%22flock+to+our+shores+to+become+citizens+and%22&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22become+citizens%22 speech in the House of Representatives] (7 April 1866)

* &lt;p&gt;[[w:United States|U.S.]] President [[Barack Obama]] has nominated Korean-[[w:United States|American]] [[w:Jim Yong Kim|Jim Yong Kim]], the president of Dartmouth College, as the next head of the World Bank. [[Barack Obama|Obama]]'s selection of [[w:Jim Yong Kim|Kim]] drew praise both in the [[w:United States|U.S.]] and here in Korea. [[w:Jim Yong Kim|Kim]] moved to the [[w:United States|U.S.]] with his parents when he was five and is an [[w:United States|American citizen]], but Koreans like to think of him as one of their own. [[w:United States|Americans]] also congratulated [[w:Jim Yong Kim|Kim]], who became the first Asian-[[w:United States|American]] president of an Ivy League university and nominee for the next head of the World Bank. Critics voiced concerns whether  [[w:Jim Yong Kim|Kim]], a medical doctor by training, would be able to handle the developmental assistance the World Bank is known for, but nobody had any problem with [[w:Jim Yong Kim|his]] ethnic background. Yet [[Bigotry|the exact opposite]] is happening here in [[South Korea|Korea]] right now. The Philippine-born naturalized Korean citizen [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|Jasmine Lee]], who became a Saenuri Party lawmaker, has been the victim of malicious attacks on the Internet since the April 11 general election. People have been posting malicious comments about her on Twitter and other social networks, somehow linking her to the grisly murder of a young woman recently killed by an ethnic Korean from China...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;As a party list candidate, [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|Lee]] has never made any campaign pledges. But somebody posted false rumors on the Internet that [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|Lee]] had promised major benefits for foreign [[migrant workers]] and brides using taxpayers' money. [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|Lee]] married a Korean and legally acquired Korean citizenship in 1998. After being widowed in 2010, [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|she]] formed a group supporting foreign wives of Korean men and also worked at Seoul City Hall helping such women. [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|She]] even played a small role in the movie 'Punch' about multicultural families in [[South Korea|Korea]] and appealed to Koreans to pay more attention to people like [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|her]]. It is perfectly fair to question her ability to serve as a lawmaker. But the criticism against [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|her]] on the Internet reflects nothing but [[Bigotry|xenophobia]]. [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|Lee]] will serve as a lawmaker representing the 200,000 foreign wives of Korean men who live here. They are all Korean citizens. It does not befit one of the world's 10 largest exporters to get excited about the achievements of [[w:Jim Yong Kim|an American who comes from Korea]] but on the other hand to react with hostility to [[w:Jasmine B. Lee|an immigrant who achieves something here]]. Such double standards are unacceptable.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[w:Lee Ha-won|Ha-won Lee]], [http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2012/04/17/2012041701313.html &quot;Korean Xenophobia Betrays Double Standards&quot;] (17 April 2012), ''The Chosun Ilbo'' (April 2012)

* Sixty years ago, at dawn on June 25, the Korean War broke out when Communist North Korea invaded the Republic of Korea. In response, 16 member countries of the United Nations, including the United States, joined with the Republic of Korea to defend freedom. Over the next three years of fighting, about 37,000 Americans lost their lives. They fought for the freedom of [[South Korea|Koreans they did not even know]], and thanks to their sacrifices, the peace and democracy of [[South Korea|the republic]] were protected... On the 60th anniversary of the Korean War, I remain grateful to [[w:United States|America]] for having participated in the war. At [[w:1950s|that time]], the Republic of Korea was one of the most impoverished countries, with an annual per capita income of less than $40. In 2009, my country became a member of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development's Development Assistance Committee, the first aid recipient to become a donor and in only one generation.
** [[Lee Myung-bak|Myung-bak Lee]], [http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jun/25/opinion/la-oe-lee-thanks-20100625 &quot;A Note of Thanks&quot;] (25 June 2010), ''The Los Angeles Times''

* That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved.
** [[w:Richard Henry Lee|Richard Lee]], ''[[w:Lee Resolution|Lee Resolution]]'' (2 July 1776)

* The law of nations knows of no distinction of color, and if an enemy of the United States should enslave and sell any captured persons of their army, it would be a case for the severest retaliation, if not redressed upon complaint.
** [http://civilwartalk.com/threads/the-lieber-code.7631/ ''The Lieber Code of 1863''], United States Department of War

* It is a truism that America has become a more diverse country. It is also a beautiful thing to watch. Visitors from other countries, particularly those having trouble incorporating different ethnic groups and faiths, are amazed that we manage to pull it off. Not perfectly, of course, but certainly better than any European or Asian nation today. It’s an extraordinary success story.
** [[w:Mark Lilla|Mark Lilla]], [https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/20/opinion/sunday/the-end-of-identity-liberalism.html &quot;The End of Identity Liberalism&quot;] (20 November 2016), ''The New York Times''

* I believe in specific ideas and I believe that those ideas have consequences. I believe in the individual, in less government so as to allow that individual maximum freedom to create and achieve; that societies which are founded on restraining the government rather than the [[Individualism|individual]] are optimum; that the individual is smart enough to solve his own problems and does not need to depend on big government for resolution of all his problems; that my belief in [[individuality]] and limited government does not preclude me from advocating the requisite amount of government [[authority]] to ensure law and order in our [[society]]; that our ability to enjoy [[peace]] vis-á-vis other [[nations]] is directly related to our [[military]] strength; that the best that we can hope for in an imperfect world will most likely be achieved by maximizing individual economic and political freedoms and, conversely, that social utopia cannot be achieved through governmental largesse and [[Socialism|socialistic]] [[Redistribution of income and wealth|redistributions of wealth]]; that compassion is defined not by how many people are on the government dole but by how many people no longer need governmental assistance; that political and economic freedom are inextricably intertwined; that society owes its citizens [[equality of opportunity]] but cannot guarantee them equality of outcome; that strong, wholesome family values are at the very core of a productive, prosperous and peaceful society; that those values cannot be instilled by government but can indeed be sucked dry and eliminated by well-intentioned but destructive governmental programs; that [[human]] [[life]] is sacred and that God placed [[man]] in a position of having [[dominion]] over [[nature]]; that environmental awareness is healthy, but that apocalyptic environmentalism based on disinformation and hysteria is destructive to society and man's best interests; that racial relations will not be enhanced or [[prejudice]] eliminated by governmental edict; that there is one God and that this country was established with that [[Christianity|foundational belief]]; that our [[morality]] emanates from our Divine Creator; whose laws are not subject to amendment, modification, or recession by man; that certain fundamental [[Different|differences]] between [[Man|men]] and [[women]] exist in nature; that men and women are not at war and that their relationship should not be redefined by by those who believe that we are; that the meaning of the establishment clause of the [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|First Amendment]] should not be stretched beyond its intended dimensions by precluding voluntary prayer in our public schools; that the United States of America was founded on the beliefs I have just enunciated and that it is the greatest nation in the history of the world; and that the USA is the greatest nation, not because Americans are inherently superior but because its government was founded on principles which seek to allow maximum individual achievement.
** [[Rush Limbaugh]], ''The Way Things Ought to Be''. Pocket Books. October 1992. p. 2-3. &lt;nowiki&gt;ISBN 978-0671751456&lt;/nowiki&gt;. OCLC 26397008.

* xcThe spread of slavery, I can not but hate. I hate it because of the monstrous injustice of slavery itself. I hate it because it deprives our republican example of its just influence in the world—enables the enemies of free institutions, with plausibility, to taunt us as hypocrites—causes the real friends of freedom to doubt our sincerity, and especially because it forces so many really good men amongst ourselves into an open war with the very fundamental principles of civil liberty—criticising the Declaration of Independence, and insisting that there is no right principle of action but self-interest...&lt;p&gt;Our republican robe is soiled, and trailed in the dust. Let us repurify it. Let us turn and wash it white, in the spirit, if not the blood, of the Revolution. Let us turn slavery from its claims of “moral right,” back upon its existing legal rights, and its arguments of 'necessity'. Let us return it to the position our fathers gave it; and there let it rest in peace. Let us re-adopt the Declaration of Independence, and with it, the practices, and policy, which harmonize with it. Let north and south—let all Americans—let all lovers of liberty everywhere—join in the great and good work. If we do this, we shall not only have saved the Union; but we shall have so saved it, as to make, and to keep it, forever worthy of the saving. We shall have so saved it, that the succeeding millions of free happy people, the world over, shall rise up, and call us blessed, to the latest generations.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/detail/3503 speech at Peoria] (16 October 1854)

* The Autocrat of all the Russias will resign his crown, and proclaim his subjects free republicans sooner than will our American masters voluntarily give up their slaves.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], letter to George Robertson (15 August 1855)

* I am not a [[w:Know Nothing|Know-Nothing]]. That is certain. How could I be? How can any one who abhors the oppression of negroes, be in favor of degrading classes of white people? Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. As a nation, we began by declaring that 'all men are created equal'. We now practically read it 'all men are created equal, except negroes'. When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and catholics'. When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty. To Russia, for instance, where despotism can be take pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/speed.htm letter to Joshua F. Speed] (24 August 1855)

* &lt;p&gt;We are now a mighty nation, we are thirty, or about thirty millions of people, and we own and inhabit about one-fifteenth part of the dry land of the whole earth. We run our memory back over the pages of history for about eighty-two years and we discover that we were then a very small people in point of numbers, vastly inferior to what we are now, with a vastly less extent of country, with vastly less of everything we deem desirable among men, we look upon the change as exceedingly advantageous to us and to our posterity, and we fix upon something that happened away back, as in some way or other being connected with this rise of prosperity. We find a race of men living in that day whom we claim as our fathers and grandfathers; they were iron men, they fought for the principle that they were contending for; and we understood that by what they then did it has followed that the degree of prosperity that we now enjoy has come to us. We hold this annual celebration to remind ourselves of all the good done in this process of time of how it was done and who did it, and how we are historically connected with it; and we go from these meetings in better humor with ourselves. We feel more attached the one to the other, and more firmly bound to the country we inhabit. In every way we are better men in the age, and race, and country in which we live for these celebrations. But after we have done all this we have not yet reached the whole...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is something else connected with it. We have besides these men—descended by blood from our ancestors—among us perhaps half our people who are not descendants at all of these men, they are men who have come from Europe—German, Irish, French and Scandinavian. Men that have come from Europe themselves, or whose ancestors have come hither and settled here, finding themselves our equals in all things. If they look back through this history to trace their connection with those days by blood, they find they have none, they cannot carry themselves back into that glorious epoch and make themselves feel that they are part of us, but when they look through that old Declaration of Independence they find that those old men say that 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,' and then they feel that that moral sentiment taught in that day evidences their relation to those men, that it is the father of all moral principle in them, and that they have a right to claim it as though they were blood of the blood, and flesh of the flesh of the men who wrote that Declaration, and so they are. That is the electric cord in that Declaration that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man, this race and that race and the other race being inferior and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:526?rgn=div1;singlegenre=All;sort=occur;subview=detail;type=simple;view=fulltext;q1=Let+us+discard+all+this+quibbling address to Chicagoan abolitionists] (10 July 1858).

* What constitutes the bulwark of our own [[liberty]] and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, the guns of our war steamers, or the strength our gallant and disciplined army? These are not our reliance against a resumption of tyranny in our fair land. All of those may be turned against our liberties, without making us weaker or stronger for the struggle. Our reliance is in the love of liberty which [[God]] has planted in our bosoms. Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you are preparing your own limbs to wear them. Accustomed to trample on the rights of those around you, you have lost the genius of your own independence, and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]]'s speech at Edwardsville, Illinois (11 September 1858); quoted in Lincoln, Abraham; Mario Matthew Cuomo, Harold Holzer, G. S. Boritt, ''[http://books.google.de/books?id=8bWmmyJEMZoC&amp;pg=PA128&amp;redir_esc=y#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Lincoln on Democracy]'' (Fordham University Press, September 1, 2004), 128. {{ISBN|978-0823223459}}
*** Variant of the above quote: What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, our army and our navy. These are not our reliance against tyranny. All of those may be turned against us without making us weaker for the struggle. Our reliance is in the love of liberty which God has planted in us. Our defense is in the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism at your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you prepare your own limbs to wear them. Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you.
**** Fragment of Speech at Edwardsville, Illinois, 13 September 1858; quoted in Lincoln, Abraham;  ''[http://www.classic-literature.co.uk/american-authors/19th-century/abraham-lincoln/the-writings-of-abraham-lincoln-05/ebook-page-05.asp The Writings of Abraham Lincoln V05]'') p. 6-7

* One-sixth, and a little more, of the population of the United States are slaves, looked upon as property, as nothing but property. The cash value of these slaves, at a moderate estimate, is $2,000,000,000. This amount of property value has a vast influence on the minds of its owners, very naturally. The same amount of property would have an equal influence upon us if owned in the north. Human nature is the same, people at the south are the same as those at the north, barring the difference in circumstances. Public opinion is founded, to a great extent, on a property basis. What lessons the value of property is opposed, what enhances its value is favored. Public opinion at the south regards slaves as property and insists upon treating them like other property.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:2?rgn=div1;view=fulltext speech at Hartford, Connecticut] (5 March 1860), ''Evening Press''&lt;!-- http://archive.org/stream/collectedworksof015582mbp/collectedworksof015582mbp_djvu.txt--&gt;

* Look at the magnitude of [[Slavery|this subject]]! One sixth of our population, in round numbers, not quite one sixth, and yet more than a seventh, about one sixth of the whole population of the United States are slaves! The owners of these slaves consider them property. The effect upon the minds of the owners is that of property, and nothing else, it induces them to insist upon all that will favorably affect its value as property, to demand laws and institutions and a public policy that shall increase and secure its value, and make it durable, lasting and universal. The effect on the minds of the owners is to persuade them that there is no wrong in it. The slaveholder does not like to be considered a mean fellow, for holding that species of property, and hence he has to struggle within himself and sets about arguing himself into the belief that Slavery is right. The property influences his mind.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/haven.htm &quot;Allow the humblest man an equal chance&quot;] (6 March 1860), New Haven, Connecticut. As quoted in [http://books.google.de/books?id=8bWmmyJEMZoC&amp;pg=PA176&amp;lpg=PA176&amp;dq=abraham+lincoln+While+we+do+not+propose+any+war+upon+capital,+we+do+wish+to+allow+the+humblest+man+an+equal+chance+to+get+rich+with+everybody+else.&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=vFissaWjnv&amp;sig=jte7zDvn8Ia0tivqhxHAfzYZLyE&amp;hl=de&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=rIahUunBJIbEtAbE5IGwAg&amp;ved=0CDcQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=abraham%20lincoln%20While%20we%20do%20not%20propose%20any%20war%20upon%20capital%2C%20we%20do%20wish%20to%20allow%20the%20humblest%20man%20an%20equal%20chance%20to%20get%20rich%20with%20everybody%20else.&amp;f=false ''Lincoln on Democracy''], by Mario Matthew Cuomo and G.S. Boritt, pp. 176-177

* The weights should be lifted from the shoulders of all men, and that ''all'' should have an equal chance. This is the sentiment embodied in that Declaration of Independence. Now, my friends, can this country be saved upon that basis? If it can, I will consider myself one of the happiest men in the world if I can help to save it. If it can't be saved upon that principle, it will be truly awful. But, if this country cannot be saved without giving up that principle. I was about to say I would rather be assassinated on this spot than to surrender it.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:376?rgn=div1;view=fulltext speech at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania] (22 February 1861); quoted in Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 4'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 204

* &lt;p&gt;One section of our country believes slavery is right and ought to be extended, while the other believes it is wrong and ought not to be extended. This is the only substantial dispute...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it. I cannot be ignorant of the fact that many worthy and patriotic citizens are desirous of having the National Constitution amended. While I make no recommendation of amendments, I fully recognize the rightful authority of the people over the whole subject, to be exercised in either of the modes prescribed in the instrument itself; and I should, under existing circumstances, favor rather than oppose a fair opportunity being afforded the people to act upon it. I will venture to add that to me the convention mode seems preferable, in that it allows amendments to originate with the people themselves, instead of only permitting them to take or reject propositions originated by others not especially chosen for the purpose, and which might not be precisely such as they would wish to either accept or refuse.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [[s:Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address|First Inaugural Address]] (4 March 1861)

* We, on our side, are praying Him to give us victory, because we believe we are right; but those on the other side pray to Him, look for victory, believing they are right. What must He think of us?
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], in 1861, as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=3WMDAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA124&amp;dq=%22What+must+he+think+of+us%22+%22LIncoln%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCIQ6AEwAWoVChMImZjep6TcxwIVyBo-Ch2PIwT7#v=onepage&amp;q=%22What%20must%20he%20think%20of%20us%22%20%22LIncoln%22&amp;f=false ''The Life of Abraham Lincoln: Drawn from Original Sources''] (1900), Volume 3, New York: Lincoln History Society, p. 124

* All persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], ''[[s:The Emancipation Proclamation|Emancipation Proclamation]]'' (1 January 1863)

* Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on [[w:North America|this continent]], a [[w:United States|new nation]], conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]].
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], ''[[w:Gettysburg Address|The Gettysburg Address]]'' (19 November 1863)

* The [[world]] has never had a good [[definition]] of the [[word]] [[liberty]], and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same ''word'' we do not all mean the same ''thing''. With some the word liberty may mean for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and the product of his labor; while with others the same word may mean for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men's labor. Here are two, not only different, but incompatable things, called by the same name — liberty. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatable names — liberty and tyranny.
** President [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=88871 address at sanitary fair, Baltimore, Maryland] (18 April 1864). 
** As quoted in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', ed. Roy P. Basler, vol. 7, p. 301–2 (1953)

* We have, as all will agree, a free government, where [[w:All men are created equal|every man has a right to be equal with every other man]]... Every form of human right is endangered if our enemies succeed.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], speech to the One Hundred Sixty-fourth Ohio Regiment (18 August 1864), delivered at Washington, D.C.

*Afterward, Vogel invited the audience to come up and be photographed with the re-enactors. I didn't go. I was content just to look down the Mall on that beautiful day, now becoming comfortably warmer. Beyond the reflecting pools, behind the Washington Monument, I could see parts of the Grant sculptures and the wings of the Capitol behind them. It was all very imposing, as befits a great nation. In the aftermath of the morning's program, I was free to imagine, now that we let ourselves remember all of [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]'s Second Inaugural, what if the United States could live up to its moral implications? What if we did construct a society with no unrequited toil? What if we did achieve a just and lasting peace with all nations? An impossible dream? Well, it was a patriotic occasion, and at a place where dreams have been dreamed before.
** [[James W. Loewen|James Loewen]], [http://historynewsnetwork.org/blog/153597#_ftn3 &quot;Lincoln's Second Inaugural on its 150th Birthday&quot;] (18 March 2015), ''History News Network''.

* In [[Australia]], if you drive a red or yellow Bentley convertible down the street, everyone thinks 'What a wanker!' In [[w:United States|America]], you drive a red Bentley down the street, everyone thinks 'Nice car, mate! Well done!' There is just a different approach to success and to striving for success in America and that's the bit that I miss. Not that I have a yellow Bentley, nor do I want one. But, I do like that acceptance of people striving in America. That's the one thing I miss.
** [[w:Luc Longley|Lucien Longley]], as quoted in [http://meninblazers.com/page/podcasts &quot;Luc Longley Pod Special&quot;] (8 June 2015), by Roger Bennett, ''Men in Blazers''

* It is the night-black Massachusetts legendry which packs the really macabre 'kick', Here is the material for a really profound study in group neuroticism; for certainly, no one can deny the existence of a profoundly morbid streak in the Puritan imagination....The very pre-ponderance of passionately pious men in the colony was virtually an assurance of unnatural crime; insomuch as psychology now proves the religious instinct to be a form of transmuted eroticism precisely parallel to the transmutations in other directions which respectively produce such things as sadism, hallucination, melancholia, and other mental morbidities. Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. This was aggravated, of course, by the Puritan policy of rigorously suppressing all the natural outlets of excuberant feeling--music, laughter, colour, pageantry, and so on. To observe Christmas Day was once a prison offence...
** [[H. P. Lovecraft|H.P. Lovecraft]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=rVERL_j9UfcC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=isbn:0809515679&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=-beOVeGqHsi_ggT1vqKgCw&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=insanity&amp;f=true letter to Robert E. Howard] (4 October 1930).

* When I first arrived in [[w:Jackson, Mississippi|Jackson]], which was July 4, 1963, there was a court order to integrate the parks in Jackson. But we couldn't even get two car loads to do that. It was, in a sense, a terrible defeat. The police arrested everybody when they did anything. You couldn't picket. The enemy was the police. It was a police state, that's all. The only police state that I've ever seen function with such efficiency that in this country there was no way of even getting to notice it.
** [[Allard K. Lowenstein]], as [https://content.wisconsinhistory.org/digital/collection/p15932coll2/id/13599 interviewed] by Anne Romaine in Charlottesville, Virginia, March 4, 1967

* America will exist as a great nation for a long time to come. It has a vast store of economic and military capital that will take time to spend down even in the worst of circumstances and even under the worst policies.
** [[Rich Lowry]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=8lVV6cxBu94C&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=9780062123787&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwi94ILJscPWAhXJZCYKHbdAD5YQ6AEILjAB#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Lincoln Unbound: How an Ambitious Young Railsplitter Saved the American Dream''] (2013), Broadside Books

* When and if fascism comes to America it will not be labeled &quot;made in Germany&quot;; it will not be marked with a swastika; it will not even be called fascism; it will be called, of course, &quot;Americanism.&quot; … The high-sounding phrase &quot;the American way&quot; will be used by interested groups intent on profit, to cover a multitude of sins against the American and Christian tradition, such sins as lawless violence, teargas and shotguns, denial of civil liberties … There is an obligation resting on us all to dedicate our minds to the hard task of thinking in terms of Christian objectives and values, so that we may be saved from moral confusion. &lt;br&gt; For never, probably, has there been a time when there was a more vigorous effort to surround social and international questions with such a fog of distortion and prejudices and hysterical appeal to fear.
** [[Halford E. Luccock]] in &quot;Keeping Life Out of Confusion&quot; (11 September 1938), as quoted in &quot;Disguised Fascism Seen As A Menace&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (12 September 1938), p. 15; also in [http://shii.org/knows/Fascism_comes_wrapped_in_the_flag &quot;Fascism comes wrapped in the flag&quot; (with online facsimile of article)].

* From the smug point of view of millions who now inhabit the Chinese internet, Wang’s dark vision of American dissolution was nothing less than prophetic. When they look to the U.S., they no longer see a beacon of liberal democracy standing as an admired symbol of a better future. That was the impression of those who created the famous “Goddess of Democracy,” with her paper-mâché torch held aloft before the Gate of Heavenly Peace. Instead, they see Wang’s America: deindustrialization, rural decay, over-financialization, out of control asset prices, and the emergence of a self-perpetuating rentier elite; powerful tech monopolies able to crush any upstart competitors operating effectively beyond the scope of government; immense economic inequality, chronic unemployment, addiction, homelessness, and crime; cultural chaos, historical nihilism, family breakdown, and plunging fertility rates; societal despair, spiritual malaise, social isolation, and skyrocketing rates of mental health issues; a loss of national unity and purpose in the face of decadence and barely concealed self-loathing; vast internal divisions, racial tensions, riots, political violence, and a country that increasingly seems close to coming apart.
** N. S. Lyons, [https://palladiummag.com/2021/10/11/the-triumph-and-terror-of-wang-huning/ The Triumph and Terror of Wang Huning], ''Palladium'', 11 October 2021

==M==
[[File:Douglas MacArthur, Army photo portrait seated, France 1918 uncropped.JPEG|thumb|America has evolved a model for this new free world... America has demonstrated that peoples of the East and peoples of the West may walk side by side in mutual respect and with mutual benefit. ~ [[Douglas MacArthur]]]]
[[File:Douglas MacArthur smoking his corncob pipe.jpg|thumb|Americans never quit. ~ [[Douglas MacArthur]]]]
[[File:86thaw-provide-hope.jpg|thumb|America is the greatest force for good in the history of the world. ~ [[John McCain]]]]
[[File:Mary Fields.jpg|thumb|Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate governments, to which the people are attached and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple government of any form can admit of. ~ [[James Madison]]]]
[[File:Health Care Delivery System Reform and The Patient Protection &amp; Affordable Care Act.pdf|thumb|The government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government. ~ [[James Madison]]]]
[[File:Elijah Muhammad NYWTS-2.jpg|thumb|America represents herself as a Christian nation. ... They profess to be a friend and defenders of all peace-loving and freedom-loving people. The only people we really see that they want to be friends of are themselves and their kind. They are really sincere when they say that they are freedom-loving people. Above all, the White man the world over wants to be free to rule and dominate the aboriginal people. ~ [[Elijah Muhammad]]]]
* Americans never quit.
** [[Douglas MacArthur]], as president of the U.S. Olympic committee when the manager of the U.S. boxing team in the 1928 Olympic games wanted to withdraw the team because of what he thought was an unfair decision against an American boxer; reported in ''The New York Times'' (9 August 1928), p. 13

* America has evolved a model for this new free world... America has demonstrated that peoples of the East and peoples of the West may walk side by side in mutual respect and with mutual benefit.
** [[Douglas MacArthur]], [https://ussmissouri.org/learn-the-history/surrender/general-macarthurs-radio-address/ radio address] (2 September 1945).

* The highest number to which, according to the best computation, a [[w:standing army|standing army]] can be carried in any country, does not exceed one hundredth part of the whole number of souls; or one twenty-fifth part of the number able to bear arms. This proportion would not yield, in the United States, an army of more than twenty-five or thirty thousand men. To these would be opposed a militia amounting to near half a million of citizens with arms in their hands, officered by men chosen from among themselves, fighting for the common liberties and united and conducted by governments possessing their affections and confidence. It may well be doubted whether a militia thus circumstanced could ever be conquered by such a proportion of regular troops. Those who are best acquainted with the late successful resistance of this country against the British arms will be most inclined to deny the possibility of it. Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate governments, to which the people are attached and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple government of any form can admit of. Notwithstanding the military establishments of the several kingdoms of Europe, which are carried as far as the public resources will bear, the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.
** [[James Madison]], [[w:Federalist No. 46|''Federalist No. 46'']] (1788).

* The government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government.
** [[James Madison]], [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/hlaw:@field(DOCID+@lit(ed00423)): Speech, House of Representatives, during the debate &quot;On the Memorial of the Relief Committee of Baltimore, for the Relief of St. Domingo Refugees&quot;] (1794).

* It is a settled policy of America, that as peace is better than war, war is better than tribute. The United States, while they wish for war with no nation, will buy peace with none.
** [[James Madison]], letter to Wolcott Chauncy and William Shaler, summarizing the Treaty of 1815, which ended the Second Barbary War and, with it, the practice of the U.S. government paying tribute to pirate states, as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=YMwRAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA46| History and Present Condition of Tripoli:] With Some Accounts of the Other Barbary States&quot; by Robert Greenhow, published by T.W. White, 1835, page 46.

* The United States, having been the first to abolish within the extent of their authority the transportation of the natives of Africa into slavery, by prohibiting the introduction of slaves and by punishing their citizens participating in the traffic, cannot but be gratified at the progress made by concurrent efforts of other nations toward a general suppression of [[Slavery|so great an evil]].
** [[James Madison]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=PsFnB7FA11YC&amp;pg=PA200&amp;dq=%22Rendered+impossible+by+the+prejudices+of+the+whites%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCMQ6AEwAWoVChMI8uuN6dbUxwIVBD0-Ch1EqwFq#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Rendered%20impossible%20by%20the%20prejudices%20of%20the%20whites%22&amp;f=false ''State of the Nation''] (3 December 1816).

* It has been said that America is a country for the poor, not for the rich. There would be more correctness in saying it is the country for both, where the latter have a relish for free government; but, proportionally, more for the former than for the latter.
** [[James Madison]], [https://archive.org/stream/jstor-2713830/2713830_djvu.txt letter to F. Corbin (26 November 1820)], as quoted in [http://www.jstor.org/stable/2713830?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents ''Letters and other Writings of James Madison: 1816-1828''], III, [https://books.google.com/books?id=CDkMAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA194&amp;lpg=PA194&amp;dq=%22It+has+been+said+that+America+is+a+country+for+the+poor%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=IhaCmIE8FV&amp;sig=NQAjX5Ue9GMcFLNji9FjLkXWaP8&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCkQ6AEwBGoVChMIxtjzuvXYxwIVBNg-Ch2ckg_0#v=onepage&amp;q=%22It%20has%20been%20said%20that%20America%20is%20a%20country%20for%20the%20poor%22&amp;f=false pp. 194-195].

* [[Slavery]] is, as you justly complain, a sad blot on [[w:United States|our free country]].
** [[James Madison]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=Elh0sAhIVvAC&amp;pg=PA85&amp;dq=%22SAD+BLOT+ON+OUR+FREE+COUNTRY%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCkQ6AEwAmoVChMI47DWxfTQxwIVRFQ-Ch2fvwWA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22SAD%20BLOT%20ON%20OUR%20FREE%20COUNTRY%22&amp;f=false letter to La Fayette] (1821).

* I've never met anyone who told me they were angry at China or France or Russia for failing to help them. Where people are desperate, it is still America they count on, whether they love or scorn it, and America they blame when aid does not come. They know that the United States is the one country with both the power and predilection to stand up for them.
** [[Tom Malinowski]], [https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2017/03/trump-human-rights-freedom-state-department/520677/ &quot;What America Stood For&quot;] (25 March 2017), ''The Atlantic''

* If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don't care for human beings.
** [[Nelson Mandela]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jan/31/usa.iraq Mandela attacks Blair and Bush], 31 January 2003

* I am proud that I am an American citizen of Japanese ancestry, for my very background makes me appreciate more fully the wonderful advantages of this nation. I believe in her institutions, ideals, and traditions. I glory in her heritage, I boast of her history. I trust in her future. She has granted me liberties and opportunities such as no individual enjoys in this world today. She has given me an education befitting kings. She has entrusted me with the responsibilities of the franchise. She has permitted me to build a home, to earn a livelihood, to worship, think, speak, and act as I please, as a free man equal to every other man. Although some individuals may discriminate against me, I shall never become bitter or lose faith, for I know that such persons are not representative of the majority of the American people. True, I shall do all in my power to discourage such practices, but I shall do it in the American way. Above board, in the open, through courts of law, by education, by proving myself to be worthy of equal treatment and consideration.
** [[w:Masaji Masaoka|Masaji Masaoka]], Japanese American Citizens League (1940), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=eWs0AQAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=imperial+japanese+army+yenne&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=-tGPVYSjNYzEggSFp4DwBQ&amp;ved=0CDMQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Rising Sons: The Japanese American GIs Who Fought for the United States''], by Bill Yenne.

* I am firm in my belief that American sportsmanship and attitude of fair play will judge citizenship and patriotism on the basis of action and achievement, and not on the basis of physical characteristics. Because I believe in America, and I trust she believes in me, and because I have received innumerable benefits from her, I pledge myself to do honor to her at all times and all places, to defend her against all enemies, foreign and domestic, to actively assume my duties and obligations as a citizen, cheerfully and without any reservations whatsoever, in the hope that I may become a better American in a greater America.
** [[w:Masaji Masaoka|Masaji Masaoka]], Japanese American Citizens League (1940), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=eWs0AQAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=imperial+japanese+army+yenne&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=-tGPVYSjNYzEggSFp4DwBQ&amp;ved=0CDMQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Rising Sons: The Japanese American GIs Who Fought for the United States''], by Bill Yenne.

* America stand up. We love [[United States Armed Forces|our military]] and we love our country but we fucking hate Trump.
** [[Eminem|Marshall B. Mathers]], [https://twitter.com/Eminem/status/917922469775925248 &quot;The Storm&quot;] (October 2017)

* America, the only nation ever founded in the name of liberty.
** [[John McCain]], as quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/1998/05/29/national/main10557.shtml &quot;Goldwater Called 'Great Patriot'&quot; at ''CBS News'' (29 May 1998)] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLATQAU-Hw0]

* We are Americans first, Americans last, Americans always. Let us argue our differences. But remember we are not enemies, but comrades in a war against a real enemy, and take courage from the knowledge that our military superiority is matched only by the superiority of our ideals, and our unconquerable love for them... We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. ''They'' will.
** [[John McCain]], ''[http://www.gwu.edu/~action/2004/repconv04/mccain083004sp.html Republican National Convention]'' (30 August 2004).

* America is the greatest force for good in the history of the world.
** [[John McCain]], [http://www.nationalinterest.org/Article.aspx?id=19990 Second U.S. Presidential Debate] (8 October 2008).

* Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that.
** [[John McCain]], [http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hmJfimrZW3jBur_BmaFtqj7mfFgQD948JFJG5 presidential concession speech] (November 2008)

* Through the violence, chaos and heartache of war, through deprivation and cruelty and loss, we are always Americans, and different, stronger and better than those who would destroy us.
** [[John McCain]], as quoted in &quot;Bin Laden's death and the debate over torture&quot; (11 May 2011), ''The Washington Post''

* The U.S. Constitution also bent over backwards to avoid using the term 'slave' or 'slavery' in the document, but the pro-slavery CSA apparently didn't have a problem calling a spade a spade.
** [[w:Jim McCullough|Jim McCullough]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20151108133240/http://www.jjmccullough.com/CSA.htm &quot;The Constitution of the Confederate States of America: What was changed? And why?&quot;] (July 2006)

* The American public thinks someone is watching over them. Generally they think someone’s in charge and going to make sure bad things don’t happen. Our oversight system in our country is so broken and so untrustworthy
** [[Lisa McGiffert]], co-founder of the '''Patient Safety Action Network''' according to  '''federal inspectors''' '''[https://khn.org/news/article/as-patients-fell-ill-with-covid-inside-hospitals-government-oversight-fell-short/ As patients fell ill with COVID inside hospitals, government oversight fell short]''' (DECEMBER 23, 2021)

*'''Riley''': “No stealing”? Don’t you always say [[theft]] in [[America]] is [[justified]] because the whole [[country]] is stolen [[land]]?
:'''Huey''': Yeah, I sure do.
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (5/16/1999)

* America is a living structure of human lives, of all the American lives that ever were and ever will be.
** [[Richard McKenna]], ''[[w:The Sand Pebbles| The Sand Pebbles]]'' (1962)

* The barriers of time and space vanish. All America that ever was and ever will be lives every moment...
** [[Richard McKenna]], ''[[w:The Sand Pebbles| The Sand Pebbles]]'' (1962)

* By the time of the Gettysburg Address, in November 1863, the North was fighting for a 'new birth of freedom' to transform the Constitution written by the founding fathers, under which the United States had become the world's largest slaveholding country, into a charter of emancipation for a republic where, as the northern version of 'The Battle Cry of Freedom' put it, 'Not a man shall be a slave'.
** [[w:James M. McPherson|James M. McPherson]], as quoted in ''[[w:The Illustrated Battle Cry of Freedom|The Illustrated Battle Cry of Freedom]]'' (2003)

*After [[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|US troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan]], [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell] (2021)

* The character of our enemies testifies to [[w:United States|America]]'s greatness, for those leaders who most hate us show scant regard for their own peoples' welfare.
** [[James D. Miller]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20040603070702/http://www.techcentralstation.com/041404F.html &quot;An Empire? You ain't Seen Nothin' Yet&quot;] (14 April 2004), ''Tech Central Station''

* America - a conservative country without any conservative ideology-appears now before the world a naked and arbitrary power, as, in the name of realism, its men of decision enforce their often crackpot definitions upon world reality. The second-rate mind is in command of the ponderously spoken platitude. In the liberal rhetoric, vagueness, and in the conservative mood, irrationality, are raised to principle. Public relations and the official secret, the trivializing campaign and the terrible fact clumsily accomplished, are replacing the reasoned debate of political ideas in the privately incorporated economy, the military ascendancy, and the political vacuum of modern America.
** [[C. Wright Mills]], ''[[W:The Power Elite|The Power Elite]]'' (1956).

* The American [[w:elite|elite]] does not have any real image of [[w:peace|peace]] — other than as an uneasy interlude existing precariously by virtue of the balance of mutual fright. The only seriously accepted plan for peace is the full loaded pistol.  In short, [[w:war|war]] or a high state of war-preparedness is felt to be the normal and seemingly permanent condition of the United States.
** [[C. Wright Mills]] ''The Power Elite'' (1956).

* In the United States ... a handful of corporations centralize decisions and responsibilities that are relevant for military and political as well as economic developments of global significance. For nowadays the military and the political cannot be separated from economic considerations of power. We now live not in an economic order or a political order, but in a political economy that is closely linked with military institutions and decisions. This is obvious in the repeated &quot;oil crisis&quot; in the Middle East, or in the relevance of Southeast Asia and African resources for the Western powers…
** [[C. Wright Mills]], ''Character &amp; Social Structure'' (1954).

* In America, we vote, we decide as a group of people what our policies are, and that's the way we do business. We don't let violence make those determinations for us.
** [[Charles A. Moose]], [http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/AttacksU town hall meeting] (8 October 2001).

* The truth is the modern [[Virginia]]ns departed from the teachings of [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|the Fathers]].
** [[John S. Mosby|John Singleton Mosby]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20131112054334/https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/reconstruction/resources/former-confederate-officer-slavery-and-civil-war-1907 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (4 June 1907).

* America represents herself as a Christian nation. ... They profess to be a friend and defenders of all peace-loving and freedom-loving people. The only people we really see that they want to be friends of are themselves and their kind. They are really sincere when they say that they are freedom-loving people. Above all, the White man the world over wants to be free to rule and dominate the aboriginal people.
** [[Elijah Muhammad]], ''Message to the Blackman'' (1965)

* I've got nothing against any individual [[w:United States|American]], except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American&amp;ndash;there's never an American-American you can ''blame!''
** [[w:Simon Munnery|Simon Munnery]], as quoted in ''Attention Scum''.

* I wasn't born in America, but I got here as fast as I could.
**[[w:Elon Musk|Elon Musk]], ''Think Tank'' interview (2008)

==N==
[[File:Huey Newton.jpg|thumb|Clear-cut superiority in things social and economic—by whatever means—has been a scruples-free premise of American ruling class authority from the society's inception to the present. The initial socioeconomic advantage, begotten by chattel slavery, was enforced by undaunted violence and the constant threat of more violence. ~ [[Huey P. Newton]]]]
* America will not die. As the time demands them, great men will appear, and by their combined efforts render liberty and happiness more secure. The people will be ready and answer in every emergency that may arise.
** [[Charles E. Nash]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20160528155427/http://history.house.gov/People/Detail/18846 speech to the U.S. House of Representatives] (7 June 1876)

* America means fair play for all men.
** [[w:Thomas Nast|Thomas Nast]], [[:File:The Chinese Question (February 1871), by Thomas Nast.png|&quot;The Chinese Question&quot;]] (1871), ''Harper's Weekly'' (18 February 1871)

* Far from there being a consensus on the acceptance of slavery, sectional differences between the north and the south about the practice of it existed, and were subject of political contentions, from the beginning of the American nation!
** [[w:David Navarro|David Navarro]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/more-of-the-same/#comment-47695 &quot;More of the Same&quot;] (12 July 2015), ''Crossroads''

* I am certain that I speak on behalf of my entire nation when I say, today we are all Americans. In grief, as in defiance.
** [[Benjamin Netanyahu]], ''Statement on the September 11 attacks'' (20 September 2001), as quoted at the official site of [http://www.israelemb.org/US-Israel-Relations/US-Israel-Relations_famous.htm Israeli embassy]

* I know what America is. America is a thing you can move very easily, move it in the right direction. They won't get in our way.
** [[Benjamin Netanyahu]], as quoted in [http://voices.washingtonpost.com/checkpoint-washington/2010/07/netanyahu_america_is_a_thing_y.html &quot;Netanyahu: 'America is a thing you can move very easily'&quot;] (16 July 2010), ''The Washington Post'', Washington, D.C.

* If Israel has to stand alone, Israel will stand. But I know that Israel does not stand alone. I know that ''America'' stands with Israel.
** [[Benjamin Netanyahu]], [https://archive.is/6C3C6 address to a joint meeting of the United States Congress] (3 March 2015), Washington, D.C.

* Always, the rulers of an order, consistent with their own interests and solely of their own design, have employed what to them seemed to be the most optimal and efficient means of maintaining unquestioned social and economic advantage. Clear-cut superiority in things social and economic—by whatever means—has been a scruples-free premise of American ruling class authority from the society's inception to the present. The initial socioeconomic advantage, begotten by chattel slavery, was enforced by undaunted violence and the constant threat of more violence.
** [[Huey P. Newton]], ''War Against the Panthers: A Study of Repression in America'', Doctoral dissertation submitted to the Faculty of [[w:University of California Santa Cruz|University of California Santa Cruz]], [https://archive.org/stream/WarAgainstThePanthersAStudyOfRepressionInAmerica/WATP_djvu.txt June 1, 1980]
*No power on earth is stronger than the United States of America today. And none will be stronger than the United States of America in the future.
**[[Richard Nixon]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/address-joint-session-the-congress-return-from-austria-the-soviet-union-iran-and-poland Address to a Joint Session of the Congress on Return From Austria, the Soviet Union, Iran, and Poland], (1 June 1972) 

* At the outset of the German Government's movement against the Jews, an American visitor asked Herr [[Hitler]] why he was making it so ruthless. The Reichskanzler replied that he had got the idea from us. Americans, he said, are the great rope and lamppost artists [i.e., [[lynching]]] of the world, known of all men as such. He was using the same methods against the Jews that we used against the [[w:American Loyalists|loyalists]] of ‘76, the [[Indigenous peoples|Indians]], the [[w:Chinese Americans|Chinese]] on the Western coast, the Negroes, the [[Mexicans]], the [[Filipinos]] — every helpless people in fact whom we had ever chanced to find underfoot.
** [[w:Albert Jay Nock|Albert Jay Nock]], &quot;The Jewish Problem in America,&quot; ''Atlantic Monthly'', June, 1941.

==O==
[[File:U.S. Navy Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Eric Chiarito, left, and Marine Sgt. Jonathan Thornton load supplies onto a forklift at Tacloban Air Base, Philippines, in support of Operation Damayan Nov. 14, 2013 131114-N-BX824-001.jpg|thumb|America leads; we are ''the'' indispensable nation. We have capacity no one else has. Our military is the best in the history of the world, and when trouble comes up anywhere in the world, they don't call Beijing. They don't call Moscow. They call us. That's the deal. ~ [[Barack Obama]]]]
[[File:U.S. Marines and Soldiers load supplies onto a Marine Corps MV-22 Osprey tiltrotor aircraft assigned to Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron (VMM) 261, 1st Marine Aircraft Wing in Tacloban, Leyte province 131114-N-BX824-291.jpg|thumb|When there's a typhoon in the Philippines, take a look at who's helping the Philippines deal with that situation. When there's an earthquake in Haiti, take a look at who's leading the charge making sure Haiti can rebuild. That's how we roll, and that's what makes this America. ~ [[Barack Obama]]]]
[[File:Rosie the Riveter (Vultee) DS.jpg|thumb|What could more profoundly vindicate the idea of America than plain and humble people? Unsung, the downtrodden, the dreamers not of high station, not born to wealth or privilege, not of one religious tradition but many, coming together to shape their country's course? What greater expression of faith in the American experiment than this? ~ [[Barack Obama]]]]
[[File:Defense.gov photo essay 120528-D-BW835-460.jpg|thumb|We are an American family and we rise or fall together as one nation and as one people... We are and forever will be the United States of America... We we will continue our journey forward and remind the world just why it is that we live in the greatest nation on Earth. ~ [[Barack Obama]]]]
[[File:Grand canyon of yellowstone.JPG|thumb|America is the only heaven on earth; is the place closest to the heavenly experience. ~ [[w:Bennet Omalu|Bennet Omalu]]]]
* We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America. There is not a liberal America and a conservative America. There is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and Asian America. There's the United States of America.
** [[Barack Obama]], [[s:2004_Democratic_National_Convention_Keynote_Address|speech at the Democratic Convention]] (27 July 2004).

* We are an American family and we rise or fall together as one nation and as one people. We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions, and we remain more than [[w:Red states and blue states|a collection of red states and blue states]]. We are and forever will be the United States of America. And together with your help and God's grace we will continue our journey forward and remind the world just why it is that we live in the greatest nation on Earth.
** [[Barack Obama]], [http://www.examiner.com/article/president-obama-wins-reelection-moving-country-forward-with-hope-and-change Delievered at McCormick Place convention center in Chicago, Illinois] [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/president-obama-victory-speech-hopeful-america-article-1.1197895 on 6 November 2012.]

* America has never come easy. Our freedom, our democracy, has never been easy. Sometimes we stumble; we make mistakes. We get frustrated or discouraged. But for more than two hundred years, we have put those things aside and placed our collective shoulder to the wheel of progress: to create and build and expand the possibilities of individual achievement; to free other nations from tyranny and fear; to promote justice and fairness and equality under the law, so that the words set to paper by our founders are made real for every citizen. The America we want for our kids. A rising America where honest work is plentiful and communities are strong; where prosperity is widely shared and opportunity for all lets us go as far as our dreams and toil will take us. None of it is easy.
** [[Barack Obama]], [http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/full-text-of-obamas-2014-state-of-the-union-address/2014/01/28/e0c93358-887f-11e3-a5bd-844629433ba3_story.html State of the Union Address] (28 January 2014).

* That's always the case; America leads. We are the indispensable nation. We have capacity no one else has. Our military is the best in the history of the world, and when trouble comes up anywhere in the world, they don't call Beijing. They don't call Moscow. They call us. That's the deal... When there's a typhoon in the Philippines, take a look at who's helping the Philippines deal with that situation. When there's an earthquake in Haiti, take a look at who's leading the charge making sure Haiti can rebuild. That's how we roll, and that's what makes this America.
** [[Barack Obama]], [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/president-obama-60-minutes/ interview with Steve Kroft] (September 2014), ''CBS News'', CBS, aired 28 September 2014.

* My fellow Americans, we are and always will be a nation of immigrants. We were strangers once, too. And whether our forebears were strangers who crossed the Atlantic, or the Pacific, or the Rio Grande, we are here only because this country welcomed them in, and taught them that to be an American is about something more than what we look like, or what our last names are, or how we worship. What makes us Americans is our shared commitment to an ideal, that all of us are created equal, and all of us have the chance to make of our lives what we will. That’s the country our parents and grandparents and generations before them built for us. That’s the tradition we must uphold. That’s the legacy we must leave for those who are yet to come.
** [[Barack Obama]], [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/11/20/remarks-president-address-nation-immigration &quot;Remarks by the President in Address to the Nation on Immigration at the Cross Hall of White House in Washington, D.C.&quot;] (20 November 2014).

* &lt;p&gt;What could more profoundly vindicate the idea of America than plain and humble people? Unsung, the downtrodden, the dreamers not of high station, not born to wealth or privilege, not of one religious tradition but many, coming together to shape their country’s course? What greater expression of faith in the American experiment than this, what greater form of patriotism is there than the belief that America is not yet finished, that we are strong enough to be self-critical, that each successive generation can look upon our imperfections and decide that it is in our power to remake this nation to more closely align with our highest ideals?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Our work is never done. The American experiment in self-government gives work and purpose to each generation.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Barack Obama]], &quot;Remarks by the President at the 50th Anniversary of the Selma to Montgomery Marches at Edmund Pettus Bridge&quot; (7 March 2015), Selma, Alabama.

* &lt;p&gt;Our best corporate citizens are also our most creative... Sixty years ago, when the Russians beat us into space, we didn’t deny Sputnik was up there. We didn't argue about the science, or shrink our research and development budget. We built a space program almost overnight, and twelve years later, we were walking on the moon. That spirit of discovery is in our DNA. We're Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers and George Washington Carver. We're Grace Hopper and Katherine Johnson and Sally Ride. We're every immigrant and entrepreneur from Boston to Austin to Silicon Valley racing to shape a better world. And over the past seven years, we've nurtured that spirit...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The United States of America is the most powerful nation on Earth. Period. It's not even close. We spend more on our military than the next eight nations combined. Our troops are the finest fighting force in the history of the world. No nation dares to attack us or our allies because they know that's the path to ruin. Surveys show our standing around the world is high... When it comes to every important international issue, people of the world do not look to Beijing or Moscow to lead;?they call us... The world respects us not just for our arsenal; it respects us for our diversity and our openness and the way we respect every faith.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Barack Obama]], [https://medium.com/@WhiteHouse/president-obama-s-2016-state-of-the-union-address-7c06300f9726#.flsvqkay9 State of the Union address] (12 January 2016)

* But today, more than 150 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, more than 50 years after the end of 'separate but equal', when it comes to getting an education, too many of our young people just can’t be bothered. Today, instead of walking miles every day to school, they're sitting on couches for hours playing video games, watching T.V. Instead of dreaming of being a teacher or a lawyer or a business leader, they're fantasizing about being a baller or a rapper. Right now, one in three African American students are dropping out of high school. Only one in five African Americans between the ages of 25 and 29 has gotten a college degree; one in five.
** [[Michelle Obama|Michelle LeVaughn Robinson Obama]], [http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/05/17/remarks-first-lady-bowie-state-university-commencement-ceremony remarks at Bowie State University ceremony] (17 May 2013)

* America is the only heaven on earth; is the place closest to the heavenly experience.
** [[w:Bennet Omalu|Bennet Omalu]], as quoted in [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/sports/league-of-denial/the-frontline-interview-dr-bennet-omalu/ interview with ''Frontline''], PBS.

* The United States performs very well in many measures of well-being relative to most other countries in the Better Life Index. The United States ranks at the top in housing, and income and wealth. They rank above the average in health status, jobs and earnings, education and skills, social connections, personal security, subjective well-being, environmental quality, and civic engagement. Money, while it cannot buy happiness, is an important means to achieving higher living standards. In the United States, the average household net-adjusted disposable income per capita is USD 41,071 a year, more than the OECD average of USD 29,016 a year, and the highest figure in the OECD... In general, Americans are more satisfied with their lives than the OECD average. When asked to rate their general satisfaction with life on a scale from 0 to 10, people in the United States gave it a 6.9 grade, higher than the OECD average of 6.5. 
** [http://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org/countries/united-states/ &quot;Countries: United States&quot;], ''OECD Better Life Index''

*I listen to people talking about this universal breakdown we are in and I marvel at their stupid cowardice. It is so obvious that they deliberately cheat themselves because their fear of change won't let them face the truth. They don't want to understand what has happened to them. All they want is to start the merry-go-round of blind greed all over again. They no longer know what they want this country to be, what they want it to become, where they want it to go. It has lost all meaning for them except as pig-wallow. And so their lives as citizens have no beginnings, no ends. They have lost the ideal of the Land of the Free. Freedom demands initiative, courage, the need to decide what life must mean to oneself. To them, that is terror. They explain away their spiritual cowardice by whining that the time for individualism is past, when it is their courage to possess their own souls which is dead — and stinking! No, they don't want to be free. Slavery means security — of a kind, the only kind they have courage for. It means they need not to think. They have only to obey orders...
**[[Eugene O'Neill]] ''Days Without End'' (1933)

* The American political system is like a gigantic Mexican Christmas fiesta. Each political party is a huge piñata — a papier-mâché donkey, for example. The donkey is filled with full employment, low interest rates, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits, a balanced budget and other goodies. The American voter is blindfoled and given a stick. The voter then swings the stick wildly in every direction, trying to hit a political candidate on the head and knock some sense into the silly bastard.
** [[P. J. O'Rourke]], ''Parliament of Whores'' (1991)

* Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.
** [[P. J. O'Rourke]], ''Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperialism'' (2004)

* Now we are doing imperialism with a black face.
** [[w:Chioma Oruh|Chioma Oruh]], interview (12 December 2009), as quoted in [http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mheaney/Partisan_Dynamics_of_Contention.pdf The Partisan Dynamics of Contention: Demobilization of the Anti-War Movement in the United States: 2007-2009&quot;] (2011), by Michael T. Heaney and Fabio Rojas, pp. 59&amp;ndash;60

==P==
[[File:Super Tuesday Vote Utah.jpg|thumb|Average Americans have little or no influence over the making of U.S. government policy. ... Wealthy Americans wield a lot of influence. By investing money in politics, they can turn economic power into political power. ~ [[Benjamin I. Page]] and Martin Gilens]]
[[File:Voting Sign at Night.jpg|thumb|[[w:Multivariate analysis|Multivariate analysis]] indicates that economic elites and organized groups representing business interests have substantial independent impacts on U.S. government policy, while average citizens and mass-based interest groups have little or no independent influence. The results provide substantial support for theories of Economic-Elite Domination, ... but not for theories of Majoritarian Electoral Democracy. ~ Martin Gilens and [[Benjamin I. Page]]]]
[[File:The Earth seen from Apollo 17.jpg|thumb|Fuzziness about the world outside is unique to America. - [[w:Ashraf Pahlavi|Ashraf Pahlavi]]]]
[[File:President Bush and President Kufuor at Osu Castle, 2008.jpg|thumb|The Americans have enough sense to prefer strong and prosperous friends, and they realize that their most lucrative international trade is with other highly industrialized countries, not with weak and backward ones. ~ [[w:Muhammad Reza Pahlavi|Muhammad Reza Pahlavi]]]]
[[File:BattleofLongisland.jpg|thumb|I am as confident, as I am that [[God]] governs the world, that America will never be happy till she gets clear of foreign dominion. Wars, without ceasing, will break out till that period arrives... For though the flame of liberty may sometimes cease to shine, the coal can never expire. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:011217-N-9769S-207 Ready for Working Party.jpg|thumb|The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:Battle of Springfield NJ 1780.jpg|thumb|We fight not to enslave, but to set a country free, and to make room upon the earth for honest men to live in. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:Inside the United States Supreme Court.jpg|thumb|In America, the law is king. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:Hopkinson Flag.svg|thumb|Our citizenship in the United States is our national character. Our citizenship in any particular state is only our local distinction. By the latter we are known at home, by the former to the world. Our great title is Americans. ~ [[Thomas Paine]]]]
[[File:AdoptionOf13thAmendment.jpg|thumb|If Americans should now turn back, submit again to slavery, it would be a betrayal so base the human race might better perish. ~ [[Isabel Paterson]]]]
[[File:Pattonphoto.jpg|thumb|Men, all this stuff you hear about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of bullshit. Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big-league ball players and the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. ~ [[George S. Patton]]]]
[[File:OCPA-2005-08-11-080331.jpg|thumb|The crimes of the United States have been systematic, constant, vicious, remorseless, but very few people have actually talked about them. You have to hand it to America. It has exercised a quite clinical manipulation of power worldwide while masquerading as a force for universal good. It’s a brilliant, even witty, highly successful act of hypnosis. ~ [[Harold Pinter]]]]
[[File:US flag 44 stars.svg|thumb|I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. ~ [[Pledge of Allegiance|Pledge of Allegiance to flag of the United States]] (1923–1954)]]
[[File:Flag of the United States (Pantone).svg|thumb|I love our flag, our constitution, and our country, with a love that has no bounds. I defended all three for 35 years as a soldier and was willing to give my life in their defense. Americans revere their flag as a symbol of the nation. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:German us citizenship 01.jpg|thumb|Did we say, 'Okay, we defeated Germany. Now [[Germany]] belongs to us? We defeated Japan, so [[Japan]] belongs to us'? No. What did we do? We built them up. We gave them democratic systems which they have embraced totally to their soul. And did we ask for any land? No. The only land we ever asked for was enough land to bury our dead, and that is the kind of nation we are. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:050116-N-4729H-146 Sailors from Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base Willow Grove, Pa. hold a giant American flag in a National Football League pregame ceremony in Philadelphia between the Philadelphia Eagles and Minnes.jpg|thumb|Most Americans no longer know what America stands for. For them, America has become just another country, a place located between Canada and Mexico. But America was founded to be an idea, not another country. ~ [[Dennis Prager]]]]
[[File:Citizenship_naturalization_ceremony_140703-N-WF272-030.jpg|thumb|The ''Declaration of Independence'', the document that articulated the principle of human rights endowed by the Creator, thereby ultimately ensuring the end of slavery, and led to the establishment of the country that has served as the beacon of hope for people of every race and ethnicity. More black Africans have voluntarily emigrated to the United States to seek liberty and opportunity than came to America as slaves... America gradually became the least-xenophobic, least-racist nation in the world. In no country do people become accepted as full members of the society as do immigrants to America. ~ [[Dennis Prager]]]]
[[File:Voting machine lever.jpg|thumb|The U.S. is a very democratic state. There's no doubt about that; and it originally developed as a democratic state. When the first settlers set their foot on the continent, life forced them to forge a relationship and maintain a dialogue with each other to survive. ~ [[Vladimir Putin]]]]
* Average Americans have little or no influence over the making of U.S. government policy. ... Wealthy Americans wield a lot of influence. By investing money in politics, they can turn economic power into political power.
** [[Benjamin I. Page]] and Martin Gilens, ''Democracy in America?: What Has Gone Wrong and What We Can Do About It'' ([[w:University of Chicago Press|University of Chicago Press]]: 2017), p. 90

* I found that many Americans did not even know that a country named [[w:History_of_Iran#Pahlavi_era_.281925.E2.80.931979.29|Iran]] existed, let alone what it was like. Even among the diplomatic corps and among well-educated people, there was a vagueness about who the Iranians were or what the culture was, a tendency to confuse Iran with [[Iraq]] or to mistakenly assume that Iran is an Arab country simply because it is an Islamic nation. This fuzziness about the world outside is unique to America; among the intelligensia of European countries, for example, there is generally a higher level of awareness and information regarding cultures other than their own.
** [[wikipedia:Ashraf Pahlavi|Ashraf Pahlavi]], as quoted in ''Faces in a Mirror'' (1980), Prentice Hall, page 100.

* I am continually amused by the Communist argument that the United States tries to prevent the [[less-developed countries]] from industrializing in order to keep them subservient to herself. In our extended dealings with the American aid authorities, we have never found this to be the case; on the contrary, they have helped us with a wide variety of industrial projects, including those that compete directly with American industries. The Americans have enough sense to prefer strong and prosperous friends, and they realize that their most lucrative international trade is with other highly industrialized countries, not with weak and backward ones.
** [[w:Muhammad Reza Pahlavi|Muhammad Reza Pahlavi]], as quoted in ''Mission for my Country'' (1961), London, p. 301.

* To Americans, [[Slavery|that some desperate wretches should be willing to steal and enslave men by violence and murder for gain]], is rather lamentable than strange. But that many civilized, nay, christianized people should approve, and be concerned in the savage practice, is surprising; and still persist, though it has been so often proved contrary to the light of nature, to every principle of Justice and Humanity, and even good policy, by a succession of eminent men, and several late publications.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''[[s:African Slavery in America|African Slavery in America]]'' (1775).

* The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind... Mingling religion with politics may be disavowed and reprobated by every inhabitant of America... But where says some is the King of America? I'll tell you Friend, he reigns above, and doth not make havoc of mankind like the Royal Brute of [[Great Britain|Britain]]. Yet that we may not appear to be defective even in earthly honors, let a day be solemnly set apart for proclaiming the charter; let it be brought forth placed on the divine law, the word of God; let a crown be placed thereon, by which the world may know, that so far as we approve as monarchy, that in America the law is king... Receive the fugitive and prepare in time an asylum for mankind.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''[[s:Common Sense|Common Sense]]'' (14 February 1776).

* Not a place upon [[earth]] might be so happy as [[w:United States|America]]. Her situation is remote from all the wrangling world, and she has nothing to do but to trade with them. A man can distinguish himself between temper and principle, and I am as confident, as I am that [[God]] governs the world, that America will never be happy till she gets clear of foreign dominion. Wars, without ceasing, will break out till that period arrives, and the continent must in the end be conqueror; for though the flame of liberty may sometimes cease to shine, the coal can never expire.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''The Crisis No. I'' (23 December 1776).

* It is the object only of war that makes it honorable. And if there was ever a just war since the world began, it is this in which America is now engaged... We fight not to enslave, but to set a country free, and to make room upon the earth for honest men to live in.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''[[s:The Crisis No. IV|The Crisis No. IV]]'' (12 September 1777). Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), pp. 841-60.

* Our citizenship in the United States is our national character. Our citizenship in any particular state is only our local distinction. By the latter we are known at home, by the former to the world. Our great title is AMERICANS.
** [[Thomas Paine]], ''[[s:The Crisis No. XIII|The Crisis No. XIII]]'' (April 1783).

* In American government, just as in Europe,the constitution is composed in such a way as to secure therule of  a governing minority. The President of the U.S. may shake hands with the poorest fellow; but president and Senate have more power than King and upper houses have in most Europe. 
** [[Anton Panneokoek]], ''Workers' Councils''

* Americans smile all the time. I remember when I walked in the street, if my eyes met others' eyes; most of them gave me a friendly smile. At first, it felt really strange and awkward because I was not good at smiling at strangers. However, as time passed, I realized a smile could make me happy all day. I tried to give happy smiles to people as much as I could... I prefer the U.S. to South Korea. The most critical reason is that living in the U.S. makes me feel equal to others... I would like to go to graduate school in the U.S. Not only because I like America's diverse culture, but also because studying abroad helps me.
** Ji-woo Park, as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20160415030440/https://www.nknews.org/2013/08/a-north-korean-in-new-york-city-says-goodbye/ &quot;A North Korean in New York City says goodbye&quot;] (10 August 2013), by Nara Han, ''NK News''

* Whoever is fortunate enough to be an American citizen came into the greatest inheritance man has ever enjoyed. He has had the benefit of every heroic and intellectual effort men have made for many thousands of years, realized at last. If Americans should now turn back, submit again to slavery, it would be a betrayal so base the human race might better perish.
** [[Isabel Paterson]], ''The God of the Machine'' (1943), p. 292.

* Government has no right to treat all Americans as criminals by spying on their relationship with their doctors, employers, or bankers.
** [[Ron Paul]], [http://www.house.gov/paul/congrec/congrec2000/ss051800.htm Statement before the subcommittee on Government Management, Information, and Technology] (18 May 2000)

* America is the most moral nation on earth, founded on moral principles.
** [[Ron Paul]], [http://www.house.gov/paul/congrec/congrec2002/cr090402.htm Speech before the U.S. House of Representatives] (4 September 2002), Washington, D.C.

* America was founded by men who understood that the threat of domestic tyranny is as great as any threat from abroad.
** [[Ron Paul]], [http://www.house.gov/paul/tst/tst2004/tst053104.htm ''Freedom vs. Security: A False Choice''] (31 May 2004)

* Despite what Obama says, racism is not passed along in DNA through the generations. If that were the case, America wouldn't be the tolerant, multi-racial country it is today. Yes, America, like the vast majority of the rest of the world, at one time participated in slavery. While the sin of slavery is not justified, it is important to acknowledge that the sin of slavery isn't a uniquely American sin, but rather one of mankind throughout the course of history. Further, owning slaves is not a sin unique to white people; in fact, black Africans sold other blacks into slavery, and still do today. Slavery is uniquely human, but societies and countries that respect human dignity, like America, have stopped the horrifying practice. America had the dignity to end slavery through a civil war and has since moved forward to correct wrongs with the civil rights movement, affirmative action, legislation, popular culture and much more. Institutional racism is no longer prevalent in the ways the left claims. Obama, elected twice by American voters, is black, as is former Attorney General Eric Holder and current Attorney General Loretta Lynch. There are a number of blacks serving in the U.S. Congress, including Republican Senator Tim Scott and Congresswoman Mia Love, Utah. The likes of Oprah Winfrey and Beyoncé are business and pop culture icons. Look around the world and you'll find that America is the most tolerant and open society on earth. The World Values Survey shows India, not the United States, is in fact the most racist country with a class system. The same survey has shown for years that Americans are among the least racist in the world and therefore are the most tolerant. Do racists exist in this country? Of course they do. Is their racism sanctioned by the government and celebrated by fellow citizens? Absolutely not. In fact, the Charleston shooter, who I refuse to name, told friends he felt isolated and alone in his evil, racist views. That's a silver lining. As a society we have corrected many of the wrongs of slavery and racism, the individuals who have not corrected their racist views are an innumerable minority roundly and strongly condemned by the rest of society. The Charleston shooter’s feelings about race are the exception, not the rule, in this country. This is demonstrated by the response in Charleston of blacks and whites holding hands and coming together, not apart, to honor the memory of those who were killed. America isn't a racist country, not even close, and it certainly isn't a 'white supremacist' society. The left falsely saying so promotes not progress but division. American history includes slavery and racism, but its current status and future as a whole does not. The people who lost loved ones at Emanuel AME Church have forgiven their killer. It's time the left does the same with America for her long past sins.
** [[w:Katie Pavlich|Catherine M. Pavlich]], [http://thehill.com/opinion/katie-pavlich/246440-katie-pavlich-america-is-not-racist &quot;Katie Pavlich: America Is Not Racist&quot;] (29 June 2015), ''The Hill'', News Communications, Inc.

* Men, all this stuff you hear about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of bullshit. Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big-league ball players and the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. The very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.
** [[w:George S. Patton|George S. Patton]], ''Speech to the Third Army''

* There's a great deal of criticism about the United States, but there is one thing that nobody criticizes the United States. Nobody thinks the United States went to [[w:2003 invasion of Iraq|strike against Iraq]] in order to gain land or water or oil, nobody thinks America has any ambitions about real estate. As it happened in the 20th century, the American boys went to fight in two world wars, many of them lost their lives. The United States won the wars, won the land, but you gave back every piece of it. America didn't keep anything out of her victories for herself. You gave back Japan, an improved Japan, you gave Germany, an improved Germany, you've heard the Marshall Plan. And today, I do not believe there is any serious person on earth who thinks the United States, whether you agree or don't agree with this strike, has any egoistic or material purposes in the war against Iraq. The reason is, for this strike, that you cannot let the world run wild. And people who are coming from different corners of our life, attack and kill women and children and innocent people, just out of the blue. And I think the whole world is lucky that there is a United States that has the will and the power to handle the new danger that has arrived on the 21st century.
** [[Shimon Peres]], [http://www.iop.harvard.edu/events_forum_archive_2004.html speech] (20 October 2004).

* Americans will always fight for liberty.
** [[w:Bernard Perlin|Bernard Perlin]], ''[[w:Americans Will Always Fight for Liberty|Americans Will Always Fight for Liberty]]'' (1943)

* &lt;p&gt;The cry that we have entered upon our [[United States imperialism|imperial course]] in order to benefit the native populations in the lands that we have conquered is an old one. ... I have before me [[w:William McKinley|McKinley's]] proclamation to the Filipinos, and I have placed it side by side with a proclamation of the King of Assyria, written eighteen hundred years before Christ. A man would think that McKinley had plagiarized the idea from [[w:Ashurbanipal|Asshurbanipal]]. ... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Each act of aggression, each new expedition of conquest is prefaced by a pronouncement containing a moral justification and an assurance to the victims of the imperial aggression that all is being done for their benefit.&lt;/p&gt;
** Senator [[Richard F. Pettigrew]], ''Imperial Washington'' (1922), pp. [http://books.google.com/books?id=ZKwcAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=345 345-347]

* Under the banner of the American flag, there have been brutal injustices, including slavery, the systematic destruction of Native Americans, the imprisonment of Japanese Americans and the disenfranchisement of women.  But due to other, far-nobler attributes of the United States of America, and the heroic sacrifices of the Americans who carried the flag into battle, the 'Star Spangled Banner' symbolizes freedom, liberty and equality all over the world.
** [[w:Scott Pinsker|Scott Pinsker]], [http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2015/06/22/confederate-flag-and-party-lincoln.html &quot;Republicans: The Confederate flag and the party of Lincoln&quot;] (22 June 2015), ''Fox News''.

* The crimes of the United States have been systematic, constant, vicious, remorseless, but very few people have actually talked about them. You have to hand it to America. It has exercised a quite clinical manipulation of power worldwide while masquerading as a force for universal good. It’s a brilliant, even witty, highly successful act of hypnosis.
** [[Harold Pinter]], &quot;Art, Truth &amp; Politics,&quot; [http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/2005/pinter-lecture-e.html  Nobel lecture (7 December 2005)]

* I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
** [[Pledge of Allegiance|Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of America]] (1923&amp;ndash;1954)

* I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
** [[Pledge of Allegiance|Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of America]] (1954&amp;ndash;present)

* I love our flag, our constitution, and our country, with a love that has no bounds. I defended all three for 35 years as a soldier and was willing to give my life in their defense. Americans revere their flag as a symbol of the nation.
**[[Colin Powell]], [https://www.aclu.org/free-speech/letter-colin-powell letter to Patrick Leahy] (18 May 1999)

* Far from being the Great Satan, I would say that [[w:United States|we]] are the Great Protector. We have sent men and women from the armed forces of the United States to other parts of the world throughout the past century to put down oppression. We defeated Fascism. We defeated Communism. We saved Europe in World War I and World War II. We were willing to do it, glad to do it. We went to Korea. We went to Vietnam. All in the interest of preserving the rights of people. And when all those conflicts were over, what did we do? Did we stay and conquer? Did we say, 'Okay, we defeated Germany. Now Germany belongs to us? We defeated Japan, so Japan belongs to us'? No. What did we do? We built them up. We gave them democratic systems which they have embraced totally to their soul. And did we ask for any land? No. The only land we ever asked for was enough land to bury our dead, and that is the kind of nation we are.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20020220234413/http://www.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/02/15/powell.mtv/index.html ''MTV Global Discussion''] (14 February 2002)

* Well, the correct answer is, [[Barack Obama|he]] is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. 
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27266223/page/2/ ''Meet the Press''] (19 October 2008)

* Some anti-Americanism derives simply from our being a colossus that bestrides the earth. This resentment may be incurable. But much anti-Americanism derives from the role U.S. political, economic, and military power has played in denying such freedoms to others.  U.S. foreign policy has to be rethought. It needs not tweaking but overhauling. We need: a historical reckoning with crimes committed, sponsored, or permitted by the United States. [..] A country has to look back before it can move forward. Instituting a doctrine of the mea culpa would enhance our credibility by showing that American decision-makers do not endorse the sins of their predecessors. When [[Willy Brandt|Brandt]] went down on one knee in the Warsaw ghetto [in 1970], his gesture was gratifying to World War II survivors, but it was also ennobling and cathartic for Germany. Would such an approach be futile for the United States?
** [[Samantha Power]], article in ''The New Republic'', 2003. Quoted in [http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323844804578527181938275090.html?mod=googlenews_wsj ''The Wall Street Journal''].

* In America, Jews live in unprecedented equality and security, and America is Israel's defender. The reason is not just that America is so tolerant a society. America does not merely tolerate Jews and Judaism, it honors them. It does so in large part because the United States is the only country that has long defined itself as Judeo-Christian. There are Christian countries, secular countries, and Muslim countries, but America is the only Judeo-Christian country.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=VK0llzUqQ2YC&amp;dq=%22Why+the+Jews%22&amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s ''Why the Jews?: The Reason for Antisemitism''] (2003), by [[Dennis Prager]] and Joseph Telushkin, p. xviii

* America-hatred has become a moral litmus test of nations, regimes, and individuals. America represents freedom, a higher quality of life, and a willingness to fight for its values. These qualities are despised by regimes characterized by tyranny and socioeconomic failure, and by individuals in the west who support such regimes or who wish to denigrate America for reasons akin to those of antisemites in their denigration of Jews. With all its flaws, America alone stands between democracy and the ascent of tyranny throughout the world.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=VK0llzUqQ2YC&amp;dq=%22Why+the+Jews%22&amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s ''Why the Jews?: The Reason for Antisemitism''] (2003), by Dennis Prager and Joseph Telushkin, p. 194

* It is small surprise that among tyrannical regimes and their defenders, America and Israel are so often identified as the same enemy. This is not merely a consequence of America's standing along behind Israel; the United States has aided various Arab countries very generously, and it has on some critical occasions backed Arab regimes, such as Nasser's Egypt in 1956 and Saudi Arabia in 1981, against Israel. The hostility is aroused largely because America and Israel represent democracy, equal rights for women, a higher quality of life, and a willingness to confront despotism. That is why the two non-Muslim countries that have suffered the heaviest lossest from Islamic suicide murderers are Israel and the United States.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=VK0llzUqQ2YC&amp;dq=%22Why+the+Jews%22&amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s ''Why the Jews?: The Reason for Antisemitism''] (2003), by Dennis Prager and Joseph Telushkin, p. 194

* Yet despite all this hatred, America remains the dreamed-for haven of the world's oppressed; and Israel remains and embattled democracy in the midst of authoritarian states, and the birthplace of the kibbutz to which tens of thousands of youth from around the world have turned for a living lesson in human equality. America today with all its imperfections represents a model of something better, fighting for its ideals and in so doing constituting a moral challenge to others.
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=VK0llzUqQ2YC&amp;dq=%22Why+the+Jews%22&amp;source=gbs_navlinks_s ''Why the Jews?: The Reason for Antisemitism''] (2003), by Dennis Prager and Joseph Telushkin, p. 195

* Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, the document that articulated the principle of human rights endowed by the Creator, thereby ultimately ensuring the end of slavery, and led to the establishment of the country that has served as the beacon of hope for people of every race and ethnicity. More black Africans have voluntarily emigrated to the United States to seek liberty and opportunity than came to America as slaves... Conservatives view America as President Abraham Lincoln viewed it; as the 'Last Best Hope of Earth'... America gradually became the least-xenophobic, least-racist nation in the world. In no country do people become accepted as full members of the society as do immigrants to America.
** [[Dennis Prager]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/421681/why-left-hates-america-dennis-prager &quot;Why the Left Hates America&quot;] (28 July 2015), ''National Review''

* Most Americans no longer know what America stands for. For them, America has become just another country, a place located between Canada and Mexico. But America was founded to be an idea, not another country.
** [[Dennis Prager]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/435195/donald-trump-won-because-many-republicans-arent-conservative &quot;The Scariest Reason Trump Won&quot;] (10 May 2016), ''National Review''

* When the thirteen stripes and stars first appeared at Canton, much curiosity was excited among the people. News was circulated that a strange ship had arrived from the further end of the world, bearing a flag 'as beautiful as a flower'. Every body went to see the ''kwa kee chuen'', or 'flower flagship'. This name at once established itself in the language, and America is now called the kwa kee kwoh, the 'flower flag country', and an American, ''kwa kee kwoh yin'', 'flower flag countryman', a more complimentary designation than that of 'red headed barbarian', the name first bestowed upon the Dutch.
** [[w:George Henry Preble|George H. Preble]], as quoted in &quot;Curiosa Sinica&quot; (15 June 1843), by Choong Kwoh, ''The Boston Courier''

* I gazed on the mountains in grandeur majestic,&lt;br&gt;I gazed on the vales&amp;mdash;they were fruitful and fair;&lt;br&gt;I gazed with delight on the lakes and the fountains,&lt;br&gt;I gazed on the banner&amp;mdash;the eagle was there.&lt;br&gt;&quot;E pluribus unum&quot; exultingly waves,&lt;br&gt;E pluribus unum! what freemen and slaves?&lt;br&gt;The genius of liberty, maiden celestial,&lt;br&gt;Sat nigh that gay banner attempting to smile;&lt;br&gt;Alternately gazing on eagle and fetters,&lt;br&gt;The tears from her eyes trickled down all the while,&lt;br&gt;And she sighed where the banner of liberty waves,&lt;br&gt;o'er traitors, and tyrants, and heart-broken slaves.
** ''The Primitive Methodist Magazine'', 1862, p. 64 (written 1835)

* I bow my head to the victims of terrorism. I am highly impressed of the courage of New York residents. The great city and the great American nation are to win!
** [[Vladimir Putin]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20031117142036/http://www.kremlin.ru/events/photos/2001/11/39974.shtml inscription at the World Trade Center Memorial Wall] (15 November 2001).

* The U.S. is a very democratic state. There's no doubt about that; and it originally developed as a democratic state. When the first settlers set their foot on the continent, life forced them to forge a relationship and maintain a dialogue with each other to survive. That's why America was conceived as a fundamental democracy.
** [[Vladimir Putin]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20130614041959/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33oIF-ggK5U interview] (2013).

* If [[Malcolm X]] or the Black Panthers had attempted to set up a separate black state on American soil in the tradition of [[John Brown]], their efforts would have been crushed immediately. ... A nation which, since its founding, has rejected the idea of hereditary entitlements. Slavery and racial discrimination are exceptions to this tradition. Huge, horrific exceptions, but exceptions nonetheless. For all the hypocrisies and bigotries of its citizens and leaders, the United States does promise liberty, equality and justice. The gap between these promises and realities often yaws wide, but the promises abide. They are part of the 'American Dream', the 'American Creed', and the American 'civil religion', which no amount of 'realism' or cynicism seems able to smother.
** [[w:Jeffrey J. Pyle|Jeff Pyle]], [http://lawdigitalcommons.bc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2124&amp;context=bclr &quot;Race, Equality and the Rule of Law: Critical Race Theory's Attack on the Promises of Liberalism&quot;] (May 1999), ''Boston College Law Review''

* No group in American history has had more reason to disbelieve America's promises than African Americans... Imbued with Christianity and the American Creed, most black Americans rejected the appeals of socialists in the late nineteenth century, Communists in the 1930s, and neo-Marxist 'liberationists' in the 1960s. Rather, when America's unpaid 'promissory note' came due in the 1950s and 1960s, they marched forth from Christian churches to demand fulfillment of the very American promise that 'all men are created equal'. And faith in the redeemability of America's promises remains in the African-American community today, sustaining efforts to overcome continued segregation, unjust incarceration and enduring economic inequality.
** [[w:Jeffrey J. Pyle|Jeff Pyle]], [http://lawdigitalcommons.bc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2124&amp;context=bclr &quot;Race, Equality and the Rule of Law: Critical Race Theory's Attack on the Promises of Liberalism&quot;] (May 1999), ''Boston College Law Review''

==R==
[[File:Battle of Fort Donelson.png|thumb|American soldiers are warriors for freedom. ~ [[w:Blackrain4xmas|Black Rain]]]]
[[File:090707-N-5345W-103 - RADM Michelle Howard, commander, Expeditionary Strike Group (ESG) 2, visits with junior enlisted sailors during a visit to the amphibious dock landing ship USS Fort McHenry (LSD-43).jpg|thumb|Throughout history the American fighting man and woman has served the ideals that everyone, not just those lucky enough to be born between two oceans and imaginary fences, was born with the God-given rights to live, to live with representative governments, and to pursue their own happiness, regardless of culture, color, race, religion, and so forth. ~ [[w:Blackrain4xmas|Black Rain]]]]
[[File:Battle of Fredericksburg, Dec 13, 1862.png|thumb|American soldiers have always comprised an army out to set others free. ~ [[w:Blackrain4xmas|Black Rain]]]]
[[File:Uncle Sam's Thanksgiving Dinner (November 1869), by Thomas Nast.jpg|thumb|[[Blood]] that has soaked into the sands of a beach is all of one color. [[America]] stands unique in the world: the only country not founded on [[race]] but on a way, an [[ideal]]. Not in spite of but because of our [[Wiktionary:polyglot|polyglot]] background, we have had all the [[strength]] in the [[world]]. That is the [[American way]]. ~ [[Ronald Reagan]]]]
[[File:USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) 2015 Deployment 150331-N-GN619-031.jpg|thumb|The United States is based on a simple premise. The United States does not start fights. We will never be an aggressor. We maintain our strength in order to deter and defend against aggression; to preserve freedom and peace. ~ [[Ronald Reagan]]]]
[[File:Civil rights march on washington dc schools.tif|thumb|[[w:United States|This nation]] was created to give expression, validity and purpose to our spiritual heritage—the supreme worth of the individual. In such a nation—a nation dedicated to the proposition that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]]—racial discrimination has no place. ~ ''Republican Party Platform of 1960'']]
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 102-09844, Mussolini in Mailand.jpg|thumb|Strangely, it is always America that is described as degenerate and 'fascist', while it is solely in Europe that actual dictatorships and totalitarian regimes spring up. ~ [[Jean-François Revel|Jean-Francois Revel]]]]
[[File:Constitution Day Naturalization Ceremony (7996948236).jpg|thumb|We are a nation of many nationalities, many races, many religions, bound together by a single unity, the unity of freedom and equality. Whoever seeks to set one nationality against another, seeks to degrade all nationalities. Whoever seeks to set one race against another seeks to enslave all races. Whoever seeks to set one religion against another, seeks to destroy all religion. ~ [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:US Navy 070515-N-9134V-011 Active duty Sailors and Soldiers proudly wave their flags in celebration of becoming America^rsquo,s newest citizens during a naturalization ceremony.jpg|thumb|Remember always that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants. ~ [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:US Navy 030808-N-0275F-501 Store Keeper 3rd Class Safouane King-Elalaoui^rsquo,s daughter waves to the camera at the Naturalization Ceremony, Petty Officer King-Elalaoui is one of over 200 individuals that took the oath to beco.jpg|thumb|There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:DuskDetroit.jpg|thumb|The immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American. If he tries to keep segregated with men of his own origin and separated from the rest of America, then he isn't doing his part as an American. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Immigrants to the United States take the Oath of Allegiance.jpg|thumb|[[w:United States|This great republic, a republic in which the tongue is English, and the blood derived from many sources]]. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:First Colored Senator and Representatives.png|thumb|[[w:United States|As a people we]] claim the right to speak with peculiar emphasis for freedom and for fair treatment of all men without regard to differences of race, fortune, creed, or color. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:US Navy 070727-N-8047K-001 Lance Cpl. Luis Camacho, a legalman at Naval Legal Services Office Central, aboard Naval Air Station Pensacola, holds up the American flag that was given to him during a naturalization ceremony.jpg|thumb|Duties are reciprocal, and from the standpoint of American patriotism, one is as important as the other. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:USMC-051017-M-6508B-004.jpg|thumb|Americanism is a matter of the spirit and of the soul. Our allegiance must be purely to the United States. We must unsparingly condemn any man who holds any other allegiance. But if he is heartily and singly loyal to [[w:United States|this republic]], then no matter where he was born, he is just as good an American as anyone else. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Usdepartmentofjustice.jpg|thumb|The cornerstone of [[w:United States|this republic]], as of all free governments, is respect for and obedience to the law. Where we permit the law to be defied or evaded, whether by rich man or poor man, by [[w:African American|black]] man or white, we are by just so much weakening the bonds of our civilization and increasing the chances of its overthrow. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:German us citizenship 02.jpg|thumb|Every man has a right to one country. He has a right to love and serve that country and to feel that it is absolutely his country and that he has in it every right possessed by anyone else. It is our duty to require the man of German blood who is an American citizen to give up all allegiance to Germany wholeheartedly and without on his part any mental reservation whatever. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:The Father and Mother.jpg|thumb|Capitalism’s gratuitous wars and sanctioned greed have jeopardized the planet and filled it with refugees. Much of the blame for this rests squarely on the shoulders of the government of the United States. ...Over these last few years, given the wars it has waged, and the international treaties it has arbitrarily reneged on, the US Government perfectly fits its own definition of a rogue state.  ~ [[Arundhati Roy]] ]]
[[File:Martin Luther King - March on Washington.jpg|thumb|All of us, no matter from what land our parents came, no matter in what way we may severally worship our Creator, must stand shoulder to shoulder in a united America for the elimination of race and religious prejudice. We must stand for a reign of equal justice to both big and small. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Taliban beating woman in public RAWA.jpg|thumb|Terrorists aren't trying to kill us because we offended them. They attack us because they want to impose their view of the world on as many people as they can, and America is standing in their way. ~ [[Marco Rubio]]]]
* The modern nation-state is supposed to be synonymous with identity. When people ask us what we are, we're inclined to say we're American.
** [[w:Raboteau|Raboteau]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=vnnGAgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover ''Searching for Zion, The Quest for Home in the African Diaspora''] (2013), by [[w:Emily Raboteau|Emily Raboteau]], Atlantic Monthly Press, p. 64.

* In my travels, I learned what people really thought of us. Americans were greedy, domineering, self-righteous, and dumb. Too easily, I agreed with these stereotypes.
** [[w:Emily Raboteau|Emily Raboteau]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=vnnGAgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover ''Searching for Zion, The Quest for Home in the African Diaspora''] (2013), Atlantic Monthly Press, p. 21.

* American soldiers are warriors for freedom. While the motives of their political leaders vary and can be debated, by and large, throughout history the American fighting man and woman has served the ideals that everyone, not just those lucky enough to be born between two oceans and imaginary fences, was born with the God-given rights to live, to live with representative governments, and to pursue their own happiness, regardless of culture, color, race, religion, and so forth. American soldiers have always comprised an army out to set others free.
** [[w:Blackrain4xmas|Black Rain]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy3iiGUfAsk &quot;Operation Freedom&quot;] (22 May 2007), ''YouTube''.

* Discrimination against the Negro race in this country is unjust, is unworthy of a high-minded people whose example should have a salutary influence in the world.
** [[Joseph Hayne Rainey]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20141009081941/http://www.law.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/RaineyDec101873.pdf speech about the Civil Rights Act under consideration which was passed in 1875] (19 December 1873), as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20141009081941/http://www.law.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/RaineyDec101873.pdf ''Neglected Voices''], New York University School of Law.

* America's abundance was created not by public sacrifices to the common good, but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. They did not starve the people to pay for America's industrialization. They gave the people better jobs, higher [[wages]], and cheaper goods with every new machine they invented, with every scientific discovery or technological advance- and thus the whole country was moving forward and profiting, not suffering, every step of the way.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal'' (1966).

* Businessmen are the one group that distinguishes capitalism and the American way of life from the totalitarian statism that is swallowing the rest of the world. All the other social groups- workers, farmers, professional men, scientists, soldiers- exist under dictatorships, even though they exist in chains, in terror, in misery, and in progressive self-destruction. But there is no such group as businessmen under a dictatorship. Their place is taken by armed thugs: by bureaucrats and commissars. Businessmen are the symbol of a free society, the symbol of America.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal'' (1966).

* Every movement that seeks to enslave a country, every dictatorship or potential dictatorship, needs some minority group as a scapegoat which it can blame for the nation's troubles and use as a justification of its own demands for dictatorial powers. In [[Russia|Soviet Russia]], the scapegoat was the bourgeoisie; in [[Germany|Nazi Germany]], it was the Jewish people; in America, it is the businessmen.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal'' (1966).

* The most profound breach in this country is not between the rich and the poor, but between the people and the intellectuals. In their view of life, the American people are predominantly Apollonian. The mainstream intellectuals are Dionysian. This means the people are reality-oriented, common sense-oriented, technology-oriented. The intellectuals call this &quot;materialistic,&quot; and &quot;middle-class.&quot; The intellectuals are emotion-oriented, and seek in panic an escape from a reality they are unable to deal with, and from a technological civilization that ignores their feelings.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Apollo and Dionysus'' (1969).

* Try to tell a [[Russia]]n housewife, who trudges miles on foot in sub-zero weather in order to spend hours standing in line at a state store dispensing food rations, that America is defiled by shopping centers, expressways and family cars.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''The New Left: The Anti-Industrial Revolution'' (1971).

* Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday. The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
** [[Ayn Rand]], as quoted in ''The Ayn Rand Letter''.

* I can say, not as a patriotic bromide, but with full knowledge of the necessary metaphysical, epistemological, ethical, political, and aesthetic roots, that the United States of America is the greatest, the noblest and, in its original founding principles, the only moral country in the history of the world.
** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Philosophy: Who Needs It'' (1982).

* We hear much of [[Special-interest group|special interest groups]]. Well our concern must be for a special interest group that has been too long neglected. It knows no sectional boundaries, or ethnic and racial divisions, and it crosses political party lines. It is made up of men and women who raise our food, patrol our streets, man our mines and factories, teach our children, keep our homes, and heal us when we’re sick -- [[Professional|professionals]], [[industrialists]], shopkeepers, clerks, cabbies, and truck drivers. They are, in short, “We the People.” This breed called Americans. Well, this Administration’s objective will be a healthy, vigorous, growing economy that provides equal opportunities for all Americans with no barriers born of bigotry or [[discrimination]]. Putting America back to work means putting all Americans back to work. Ending [[inflation]] means freeing all Americans from the terror of runaway living costs. All must share in the productive work of this “new beginning,” and all must share in the bounty of a revived economy. With the idealism and fair play which are the core of our system and our strength, we can have a strong and prosperous America at peace with itself and the world. So as we begin, let us take inventory.
** [[Ronald Reagan]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/ronaldreagandfirstinaugural.html First Inaugural Address], (20 January 1981) 
* The defense policy of the United States is based on a simple premise. The United States does not start fights. We will never be an aggressor. We maintain our strength in order to deter and defend against aggression; to preserve freedom and peace.
** [[Ronald Reagan]], [http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/cold.war/episodes/22/documents/starwars.speech/ &quot;Star Wars&quot; speech] (23 March 1983).

* Blood that has soaked into the sands of a beach is all of one color. America stands unique in the world, the only country not founded on race but on a way, an ideal. Not in spite of but because of our [[Wiktionary:polyglot|polyglot]] background, we have had all the strength in the world. That is the American way.
** [[Ronald Reagan]] on 10 August 1988, while signing the Bill Providing Restitution for the Wartime Internment of Japanese-American Civilians, [http://history.wisc.edu/archdeacon/404tja/redress.html quoting himself] at the funeral of Kazuo Masuda in December 1945.

* I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.
** [[Ronald Reagan]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/document/reagan_sunset200406070915.asp letter announcing Alzheimer's diagnosis] (5 November 1994)

* [T]he normal condition of all the territory of the United States is that of freedom. That, as our Republican fathers, when they had abolished slavery in all our national territory, ordained that 'no persons should be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law', it becomes our duty, by legislation, whenever such legislation is necessary, to maintain this provision of the Constitution against all attempts to violate it; and we deny the authority of Congress, of a territorial legislature, or of any individuals, to give legal existence to slavery in any territory of the United States.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20150619105203/http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=29620 ''Republican Party Platform of 1860''] (17 May 1860)

* It is the highest duty of every American citizen to maintain against all their enemies the integrity of the Union and the paramount authority of the constitution and laws of the United States... Immigration, which in the past has added so much to the wealth, development of resources and increase of power to the nation, the asylum of the oppressed of all nations, should be fostered and encouraged by a liberal and just policy... The people of the United States can never regard with indifference the attempt of any [[Europe]]an power to overthrow by force or to supplant by fraud the institutions of any republican government on the western continent and that they will view with extreme jealousy, as menacing to the peace and independence of their own country, the efforts of any such power to obtain new footholds for monarchical government, sustained by foreign military force, in near proximity to the United States.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20150421080932/http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=29621 ''Republican Party Platform of 1864''] (7 June 1864)

* We condemn bigots who inject class, racial and religious prejudice into public and political matters. Bigotry is un-American and a danger to the republic. We deplore the duplicity and insincerity of [[Democratic Party (United States)|the party in power]] in racial and religious matters. Although they have been in office as a 'Majority Party' for many years, they have not kept nor do they intend to keep their promises. The Republican Party will not mislead, exploit or attempt to confuse minority groups for political purposes. All American citizens are entitled to full, impartial enforcement of Federal laws relating to their civil rights. We believe that it is the primary responsibility of each State to order and control its own domestic institutions, and this power, reserved to the states, is essential to the maintenance of our Federal Republic. However, we believe that the Federal Government should take supplemental action within its constitutional jurisdiction to oppose discrimination against race, religion or national origin..
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20150307013551/http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=25837 ''Republican Party Platform of 1952''] (7 July 1952)

* [[w:United States|This nation]] was created to give expression, validity and purpose to our spiritual heritage—the supreme worth of the individual. In such a nation—a nation dedicated to the proposition that [[w:All men are created equal|all men are created equal]]—racial discrimination has no place. It can hardly be reconciled with a [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] that guarantees equal protection under law to all persons. In a deeper sense, too, it is immoral and unjust. As to those matters within reach of political action and leadership, we pledge ourselves unreservedly to its eradication... Equality under law promises more than the equal right to vote and transcends mere relief from discrimination by government. It becomes a reality only when all persons have equal opportunity, without distinction of race, religion, color or national origin, to acquire the essentials of life—housing, education and employment. The [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]—the party of Abraham Lincoln—from its very beginning has striven to make this promise a reality. It is today, as it was then, unequivocally dedicated to making the greatest amount of progress toward the objective.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20150131220843/http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=25839 ''Republican Party Platform of 1960''] (25 July 1960).

* America must advance freedom throughout the world as a vital condition of orderly human progress, universal justice, and the security of the American people.
** [https://web.archive.org/save/http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=25840 ''Republican Party Platform of 1964''] (13 July 1964).

* This country belatedly recognized the wrongs of [[slavery]].
** [[Harry Reid]], [http://blogs.abcnews.com/george/2009/12/reid-compares-health-reform-bill-with-slavery-suffrage.html speech on the U.S. Senate floor, during a debate on health care reform] (December 2009).

* We in America have been very fortunate. We've been blessed with a wonderful country and everything and wonderful resources.
** [[Rick Rescorla]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGXjjgMLQVs interview in New York] (28 July 1998)

* The judgment of the people of the United States may differ on whether and when and on what grounds we should criticize our allies. Some of our people probably will not accept the general rule that we should criticize only when our criticism is constructive. But regardless of this, every American's sense of decency and fair play will demand that he at least be sure of his facts.
** [[James B. Reston]], ''Prelude to Victory'' (1942), p. 139

* I have heard it often- that if the conquered peoples of Europe do not like our democracy the way it is, they can go fly a kite. It is absolutely true that a great majority of us found the old life very comfortable and would like to go back to the &quot;normality&quot; that produced it; but... we destroyed that &quot;normality&quot; trying to save our lives and cannot now go back to it any more than we can turn 1943 back into 1938. Nor can we tell the conquered peoples of Europe to go fly a kite if they do not like our democracy, because we need their help and will need it desperately before the war is over, and in order to get it we shall have to remove the doubts that are in their minds. That means that the people of America must look forward and not backward. That means that we must prove that our democracy is just as efficient as the totalitarian creed of our enemies. That means that we must make democracy live up to its promises. &quot;Most governments,&quot; said Abraham Lincoln, &quot;have been based on the denial of the equal rights of men; ours began by affirming those rights. We made the experiment, and the fruit is before us. Look at it- think of it.&quot; The democracy of Lincoln is not dead. It has not lost its revolutionary fervor. It has not lost its appeal to the men of the world. Our problem is to prove that we really believe in it.
** [[James B. Reston]], ''Prelude to Victory'' (1942), p. 214-215

* A great number of people in this country do not even take the Atlantic Charter seriously. They think it is some jiggery-pokery trumped up by Roosevelt and Churchill to propagandize their meeting at sea in 1941. They do not see it for what it should be: an extension of the Rights of Man, and another logical step in the fulfillment of the purpose of this nation. The scornful conception of the Atlantic Charter and of all other attempts to state our purpose will not do. For unless the spirit of the people is behind these declarations, they will have no true value. The essence of patriotism is in believing in the principles of America. Either you believe in the equalitarian idea behind this republic or you do not. Either you believe in Lincoln's &quot;government of the people, by the people, and for the people&quot; or you do not. Either you believe in liberty, justice, and right, or you do not. If you do, then our appeal to the revolutionary spirit of the world will be heard, but if you do not, all the Atlantic Charters in the world will not inspire the conquered nations to fight for principles that we proclaim but do not follow.
** [[James B. Reston]], ''Prelude to Victory'' (1942), p. 215-216

* There is a big difference between being anti-American and being critical of the United States. Once again, critiques are appropriate and necessary, provided that they rest on facts and address real abuses, real errors and real excesses, without deliberately losing sight of America's wise decisions, beneficent interventions and salutary policies. But critiques of this kind, balanced, fair and well-founded are hard to find, except in America herself: in the daily press in weekly news magazines, on television and radio, and in highbrow monthly journals, which are more widely read than their equivalents in Europe... Strangely, it is always America that is described as degenerate and 'fascist', while it is solely in Europe that actual dictatorships and totalitarian regimes spring up... The success and originality of American integration stem precisely from the fact that immigrants' descendants can perpetuate their ancestral cultures while thinking of themselves as Americans in the fullest sense, sharing basic ideals across racial and ethnic barriers.
** [[Jean-François Revel]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20031204174924/http://theamericanenterprise.org/issues/articleid.17764/article_detail.asp &quot;Europe's Anti-American Obsession&quot;] (2003), ''The View From Abroad'', The American Enterprise.

* America is still the country of fair play, that we can come out of a small town or a poor neighborhood and have the same chance as anyone else... America can overcome any problem, including the dreaded disease called [[HIV/AIDS|AIDS]]. We believe that America is still a country where there is more to life than just a constant struggle for money, and we believe that America must have leaders who show us that our struggles amount to something and contribute to something larger, leaders who want us to be all that we can be.
** [[Ann Richards|D. Ann Willis Richards]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20040404151616/http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/annrichards1988dnc.htm &quot;1988 Democratic National Convention Keynote Address&quot;] (19 July 1988).

* Both [[Socrates]] and [[Jesus|Christ]] taught economic man to be at least slightly ashamed of himself when he failed to sacrifice the lower capacity to the higher. [[Freud]] is America’s great teacher, despite his ardent wish to avoid that fate. For it was precisely the official and parental shams of high ideals that Freud questioned. In their stead, Freud taught lessons which Americans, prepared by their own national experience, learn easily: survive, resign yourself to living within your moral means, suffer no gratuitous failures in a futile search for ethical heights that no longer exist—if they ever did.
** [[Philip Rieff]], ''The Triumph of the Therapeutic'' (1966), chapter 2.

*We should stop pretending that the US is a functioning democracy; [[W:Citizens United|Citizens United]] proves we are not—when the courts grant citizenship powers to corporations, money and greed become the nation’s lifeblood, not the will of the people. The American people have allowed themselves to be dumbed down to the point that their opinions are easily manipulated by corporate-owned and controlled mainstream media. The inability to function as a viable component of government has resulted in the “people” fracturing into competing ideological and socio-economic fiefdoms. American democracy is little more than feudalistic plutocracy. It’s an unsustainable model doomed to collapse in on itself.
**[[Scott Ritter]] as quoted in [https://dissidentvoice.org/2022/02/personal-interview-scott-ritter/ What Are The Prospects For Peace?  by John Rachel, ''Dissident Voice''] / February 24th, 2022

*We had a moment in history, between 1988 and 1991, where we could have worked with [[Mikhail Gorbachev]] to make his vision of perestroika succeed. Instead, we allowed him to fail, without any real plan on how we would live with what emerged from the ruins of the Soviet Union. Save for a short period of time during the [[World War II|Second World War]] where we needed the [[Soviet Union]] to defeat Germany and Japan, we have been in a continual state of political conflict with the Soviet Union. Even after the Soviet Union collapsed, we viewed the [[Russia|Russian Federation]] more as a defeated enemy that we needed to keep down, than a friend in need of a helping hand up. Yeltsin’s Russia was useful to the US and NATO only to the extent that we could exploit it economically while controlling its domestic politics in a manner that kept Russia in a perpetual state of weakness. The [[Barack Obama|Obama]] “reset” was simply a ploy to remove [[Vladimir Putin]], who rejected the vision of Russia projected by the west, and replace him with [[Dmitry Medvedev|Dmitri Medvedev]], whom Obama believed could be remade in the figure of [[Boris Yeltsin|Yeltsin]]. The fact that Putin believes in a strong Russia has upset the plans of the US, NATO, and Europe for post-Cold War hegemony, predicated as they were on a weak, compliant Russian state.
**[[Scott Ritter]] as quoted in [https://dissidentvoice.org/2022/02/personal-interview-scott-ritter/ What Are The Prospects For Peace?  by John Rachel, ''Dissident Voice''] / February 24th, 2022

* Faith in America, faith in our tradition of personal responsibility, faith in our institutions, faith in ourselves demands that we recognize the new terms of the old social contract. We shall fulfill them, as we fulfilled the obligation of the apparent [[Utopia]] which Jefferson imagined for us in 1776, and which [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]], [[Theodore Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] and [[Woodrow Wilson|Wilson]] sought to bring to realization. We must do so, lest a rising tide of misery engendered by our common failure, engulf us all. But failure is not an American habit; and in the strength of great hope we must all shoulder our common load.
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/fdrcommonwealth.htm Commonwealth Club Address], delivered 23 Sept 1932, San Francisco, CA
* Remember, remember always that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], remarks before the Daughters of the American Revolution, Washington, D.C. (21 April 1938), ''The Public Papers and Addresses of Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1938'' (1941), p. 259. FDR is often quoted as having addressed the DAR as &quot;my fellow immigrants.&quot; The above words are believed to be the source.

* We are a nation of many nationalities, many races, many religions, bound together by a single unity, the unity of freedom and equality. Whoever seeks to set one nationality against another, seeks to degrade all nationalities. Whoever seeks to set one race against another seeks to enslave all races. Whoever seeks to set one religion against another, seeks to destroy all religion.
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], campaign address, Brooklyn, New York (1 November 1940); ''The Public Papers and Addresses of Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1940'' (1941), p. 53.

* A life of slothful ease, a life of that peace which springs merely from lack either of desire or of power to strive after great things, is as little worthy of a nation as of an individual. I ask only that what every self-respecting American demands from himself and from his sons shall be demanded of the American nation as a whole. Who among you would teach your boys that ease, that peace, is to be the first Consideration in their eyes-to be the ultimate goal after which they strive?
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* Thank God for the iron in the blood of [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|our fathers]], the men who upheld the wisdom of Lincoln, and bore sword or rifle in the armies of [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]]! Let us, the children of the men who proved themselves equal to the mighty days, let us, the children of the men who carried the great Civil War to a triumphant conclusion, praise the God of our fathers that the ignoble counsels of peace were rejected; that the suffering and loss, the blackness of sorrow and despair, were unflinchingly faced, and the years of strife endured; for in the end the slave was freed, the Union restored, and the mighty American republic placed once more as a helmeted queen among nations.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* No country can long endure if its foundations are not laid deep in the material prosperity which comes from thrift, from business energy and enterprise, from hard, unsparing effort in the fields of industrial activity; but neither was any nation ever yet truly great if it relied upon material prosperity alone. All honor must be paid to the architects of our material prosperity, to the great captains of industry who have built our factories and our railroads, to the strong men who toil for wealth with brain or hand; for great is the debt of the nation to these and their kind. But our debt is yet greater to the men whose highest type is to be found in a statesman like Lincoln, a soldier like [[Ulysses S. Grant]]. They showed by their lives that they recognized the law of work, the law of strife; they toiled to win a competence for themselves and those dependent upon them; but they recognized that there were yet other and even loftier duties—duties to the nation.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* We cannot, if we would, play the part of [[China]], and be content to rot by inches in ignoble ease within our borders, taking no interest in what goes on beyond them, sunk in a scrambling commercialism; heedless of the higher life, the life of aspiration, of toil and risk, busying ourselves only with the wants of our bodies for the day, until suddenly we should find, beyond a shadow of question, what China has already found, that in this world the nation that has trained itself to a career of un-warlike and isolated ease is bound, in the end, to go down before other nations which have not lost the manly and adventurous qualities. If we are to be a really great people, we must strive in good faith to play a great part in the world.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* No country can long endure if its foundations are not laid deep in the material prosperity which comes from thrift, from business energy and enterprise, from hard, unsparing effort in the fields of industrial activity; but neither was any nation ever yet truly great if it relied upon material prosperity alone. All honor must be paid to the architects of our material prosperity, to the great captains of industry who have built our factories and our railroads, to the strong men who toil for wealth with brain or hand; for great is the debt of the nation to these and their kind. But our debt is yet greater to the men whose highest type is to be found in a statesman like Lincoln, a soldier like [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]]. They showed by their lives that they recognized the law of work, the law of strife; they toiled to win a competence for themselves and those dependent upon them; but they recognized that there were yet other and even loftier duties—duties to the nation.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* The problems are different for the different islands. Puerto Rico is not large enough to stand alone. We must govern it wisely and well, primarily in the interest of its own people. Cuba is, in my judgment, entitled ultimately to settle for itself whether it shall be an independent state or an integral portion of the mightiest of republics. But until order and stable liberty are secured, we must remain in the island to insure them, and infinite tact, judgment, moderation, and courage must be shown by our military and civil representatives in keeping the island pacified, in relentlessly stamping out brigandage, in protecting all alike, and yet in showing proper recognition to the men who have fought for Cuban liberty.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois.

* As a people [[w:United States|we]] claim the right to speak with peculiar emphasis for freedom and for fair treatment of all men without regard to differences of race, fortune, creed, or color. We forfeit the right so to speak when we commit or condone [[Homicide|such crimes as these of which I speak]]. The nation, like the individual, cannot commit a crime with impunity. If we are guilty of lawlessness and brutal violence, whether our guilt consists in active participation therein or in mere connivance and encouragement, we shall assuredly suffer later on because of what we have done. 
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=KPccAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA277&amp;dq=%22+permit+me+to+thank+you+as+an+American+citizen+for+the+admirable+way+in+which+you+have+vindicated+the+majesty+of+the+law+by+your+recent+action+in+reference+to+lynching.%22+%22August%22+%221903%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=Wm4HVfbcDrfLsAS9yIGgCg&amp;ved=0CCMQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22%20permit%20me%20to%20thank%20you%20as%20an%20American%20citizen%20for%20the%20admirable%20way%20in%20which%20you%20have%20vindicated%20the%20majesty%20of%20the%20law%20by%20your%20recent%20action%20in%20reference%20to%20lynching.%22%20%22August%22%20%221903%22&amp;f=false letter to Winfield T. Durbin] (6 August 1903), Oyster Bay, New York.

* The cornerstone of [[w:United States|this republic]], as of all free governments, is respect for and obedience to the law. Where we permit the law to be defied or evaded, whether by rich man or poor man, by black man or white, we are by just so much weakening the bonds of our civilization and increasing the chances of its overthrow, and of the substitution therefore of a system in which there shall be violent alternations of anarchy and tyranny.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=KPccAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA277&amp;dq=%22+permit+me+to+thank+you+as+an+American+citizen+for+the+admirable+way+in+which+you+have+vindicated+the+majesty+of+the+law+by+your+recent+action+in+reference+to+lynching.%22+%22August%22+%221903%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=Wm4HVfbcDrfLsAS9yIGgCg&amp;ved=0CCMQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22%20permit%20me%20to%20thank%20you%20as%20an%20American%20citizen%20for%20the%20admirable%20way%20in%20which%20you%20have%20vindicated%20the%20majesty%20of%20the%20law%20by%20your%20recent%20action%20in%20reference%20to%20lynching.%22%20%22August%22%20%221903%22&amp;f=false letter to Winfield T. Durbin] (6 August 1903), Oyster Bay, New York.

* There are good men and bad men of all nationalities, creeds and colors; and if this world of ours is ever to become what we hope some day it may become, it must be by the general recognition that the man's heart and soul, the man's worth and actions, determine his standing.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://www.trsite.org/content/pages/speaking-loudly letter] (1 September 1903), Oyster Bay, New York.

* The failure in public and in private life thus to treat each man on his own merits, the recognition of this government as being either for the poor as such or for the rich as such, would prove fatal to our Republic, as such failure and such recognition have always proved fatal in the past to other republics. A healthy republican government must rest upon individuals, not upon classes or sections. As soon as it becomes government by a class or by a section, it departs from the old American ideal.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20041217111203/http://www.memorablequotations.com/SquareDeal.htm ''A Square Deal''] (7 September 1903).

* It is unwise to depart from the old American tradition and discriminate for or against any man who desires to come here and become a citizen, save on the ground of that man's fitness for citizenship. ... We can not afford to consider whether he is Catholic or Protestant, Jew or Gentile; whether he is Englishman or Irishman, Frenchman or German, Japanese, Italian, or Scandinavian, or Magyar. What we should desire to find out is the individual quality of the individual man.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], message to the U.S. Congress (1905). As quoted in ''The Business of Transatlantic Migration between Europe and the United States, 1900–1914'' (2012), by Drew Keeling, p. 161.

* Our country—this great republic—means nothing unless it means the triumph of a real democracy, the triumph of popular government, and, in the long run, of an economic system under which each man shall be guaranteed the opportunity to show the best that there is in him.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''The New Nationalism'' (August 1910).

* America opened the greatest era in world history. Four centuries have passed since the Spaniards began that colonization on the main land which has resulted in the growth of the nations of Latin America. Three centuries have passed since, with the settlements on the coasts of [[Virginia]] and Massachusetts, the real history of what is now the United States began. All this we ultimately owe to the action of an Italian seaman in the service of a Spanish King and a Spanish Queen. It is eminently fitting that one of the largest and most influential social organizations of [[w:United States|this great republic, a republic in which the tongue is English, and the blood derived from many sources]], should, in its name, commemorate the great Italian. It is eminently fitting to make an address on Americanism.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* We are a new and distinct nationality. We are developing our own distinctive culture and civilization, and the worth of this civilization will largely depend upon our determination to keep it distinctively our own. Our sons and daughters should be educated here and not abroad. We should freely take from every other nation whatever we can make of use, but we should adopt and develop to our own peculiar needs what we thus take, and never be content merely to copy.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* Our nation was founded to perpetuate democratic principles. These principles are that each man is to be treated on his worth as a man without regard to the land from which his forefathers came and without regard to the creed which he professes. If the United States proves false to these principles of civil and religious liberty, it will have inflicted the greatest blow on the system of free popular government that has ever been inflicted.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* True Americanism demands that we judge each man on his conduct, that we so judge him in private life and that we so judge him in public life.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* What is true of creed is no less true of nationality. There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all. This is just as true of the man who puts 'native' before the hyphen as of the man who puts German or Irish or English or French before the hyphen. Americanism is a matter of the spirit and of the soul. Our allegiance must be purely to the United States. We must unsparingly condemn any man who holds any other allegiance. But if he is heartily and singly loyal to [[w:United States|this republic]], then no matter where he was born, he is just as good an American as anyone else.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* In my cabinet at the time there were men of English and French, German, Irish, and Dutch blood, men born on this side and men born in Germany and Scotland; but they were all Americans and nothing else; and every one of them was incapable of thinking of himself or of his fellow-countrymen, excepting in terms of American citizenship. If any one of them had anything in the nature of a dual or divided allegiance in his soul, he never would have been appointed to serve under me, and he would have been instantly removed when the discovery was made. There wasn't one of them who was capable of desiring that the policy of the United States should be shaped with reference to the interests of any foreign country or with consideration for anything, outside of the general welfare of humanity, save the honor and interest of the United States, and each was incapable of making any discrimination whatsoever among the citizens of the country he served, of our common country, save discrimination based on conduct and on conduct alone.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* For an American citizen to vote as a German-American, an Irish-American, or an English-American, is to be a traitor to American institutions; and those hyphenated Americans who terrorize American politicians by threats of the foreign vote are engaged in treason to the American Republic.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* The foreign-born population of this country must be an Americanized population. No other kind can fight the battles of America either in war or peace. It must talk the language of its native-born fellow-citizens; it must possess American citizenship and American ideals. It must stand firm by its oath of allegiance in word and deed and must show that in very fact it has renounced allegiance to every prince, potentate, or foreign government. It must be maintained on an American standard of living so as to prevent labor disturbances in important plants and at critical times. None of these objects can be secured as long as we have immigrant colonies, ghettos, and immigrant sections, and above all they cannot be assured so long as we consider the immigrant only as an industrial asset. The immigrant must not be allowed to drift or to be put at the mercy of the exploiter.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* As a people we must be united. If we are not united we shall slip into the gulf of measureless disaster. We must be strong in purpose for our own defense and bent on securing justice within our borders. If as a nation we are split into warring camps, if we teach our citizens not to look upon one another as brothers but as enemies divided by the hatred of creed for creed or of those of one race against those of another race, surely we shall fail and our great democratic experiment on this continent will go down in crushing overthrow.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* All of us, no matter from what land our parents came, no matter in what way we may severally worship our Creator, must stand shoulder to shoulder in a united America for the elimination of race and religious prejudice. We must stand for a reign of equal justice to both big and small. We must insist on the maintenance of the American standard of living.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [http://shapingushistory.wikispaces.com/file/view/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc/485211294/TR%20Denounces%20Hyphenated%20Americanism.doc &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915).

* Americanism means the virtues of courage, honor, justice, truth, sincerity, and hardihood—the virtues that made America. The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living and the get-rich-quick theory of life.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], letter to S. Stanwood Menken, chairman, committee on Congress of Constructive Patriotism (10 January 1917). Roosevelt’s sister, Mrs. Douglas Robinson, read the letter to a national meeting, January 26, 1917. Reported in Proceedings of the Congress of Constructive Patriotism, Washington, D.C., January 25–27, 1917 (1917), p. 172.

* Every man has a right to one country. He has a right to love and serve that country and to feel that it is absolutely his country and that he has in it every right possessed by anyone else. It is our duty to require the man of German blood who is an American citizen to give up all allegiance to Germany wholeheartedly and without on his part any mental reservation whatever. If he does this it becomes no less our duty to give him the full rights of an American, including our loyal respect and friendship without on our part any mental reservation whatever. The duties are reciprocal, and from the standpoint of American patriotism one is as important as the other.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], &quot;Every Man Has a Right to One Country&quot;, ''The Kansas City Star'' (15 July 1918), Missouri, p. 2.

* In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American. If he tries to keep segregated with men of his own origin and separated from the rest of America, then he isn't doing his part as an American. There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile. We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language, for we intend to see that the crucible turns our people out as Americans, of American nationality, and not as dwellers in a polyglot boarding-house; and we have room for but one soul loyalty, and that is loyalty to the American people.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], letter to Charles Steward Davison (3 January 1919).

* The Union forever! Hurrah, boys! Hurrah! Down with the traitor, and up with the star!
** [[w:George Frederick Root|George F. Root]], &quot;[[w:Battle Cry of Freedom|Battle Cry of Freedom]]&quot; (1862).

* You have to tell an alternative story. You have to tell a story: No! '''The American foundation was the best thing to happen for ''human liberty'' in a, in a millennium'''. Yes, slavery was implicitly in, acknowledged. But the declaration of liberty, this is again Lincoln, declares that all men are equal and I would make sure that American Civil War is taught... 600, now it's estimated 700,000 Americans died to end slavery. 750,000 people fought to preserve the Union and keep it on a course where slavery was on a course of eventual extinction. That is sort of World War I levels of casualties. It's huge, white boys from the north fought and died so that slavery would be put in the course of extinction. Not that slavery was justified, not that this wipes out the sin of slavery. Lincoln never would've said that sin, that slavery was anything other than a sin which would stain our soul for as long as we existed. But we made acts of contrition and expiation and we paid for it in blood. So the story of the American institutions is one of institutions which are capable of self rectification and progress. American institutions are capable of extending this to other people.
** [[w:Stephen Peter Rosen|Stephen Peter Rosen]], [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/video/stephen-rosen/ interview with Bill Kristol] (2016), [http://conversationswithbillkristol.org/transcript/stephen-rosen-transcript/ transcript]

*When the GOP was taken over by the hard right in the 1990s by men like Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay, and the “Contract with America” turned into a scorched-earth campaign that deliberately left Washington dysfunctional (because an inert government is the next best thing to no government at all), it was a shock all over again. The extremism of the GOP was getting worse and worse, the nation’s divisions growing deeper and deeper.... President Bill Clinton.. bought into policies that made inequality worse and offered up the coded racism of welfare reform, beefing up police forces and scolding Sister Souljah. We were Reagan Lite though we thought we were just doing smart political “triangulation” and that the goodness in our hearts would prevail. And then we undid Glass Steagall and passed a telecommunications act that laid the groundwork for the rise of monster tech, the behemoths that would, alongside Wall Street, come to dominate in a new age of robber barons in America.  When Al Gore won the popular vote but lost the election to George W. Bush thanks to a dubious, highly political call by the U.S. Supreme Court, that too was a gut punch.  When Bush and Cheney and company embraced torture and rendition and waged a “war of choice” that left hundreds of thousands of innocents dead and America’s reputation worldwide in tatters, that was another. We weren’t the country of the “greatest” generation... this was war crimes level stuff and somehow, they all got away with it.
**[[W:David Rothkopf|David Rothkopf]], [[ https://news.yahoo.com/america-one-gut-punch-away-042537809.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall  America Is One Gut Punch Away From Throwing in the Towel on Democracy, ''Daily Beast'']]   (4 December 2021)

*[[Capitalism]]’s gratuitous wars and sanctioned greed have jeopardized the planet and filled it with [[refugee]]s. Much of the blame for this rests squarely on the shoulders of the government of the United States. Seventeen years after invading [[Afghanistan]], after bombing it into the ‘stone age’ with the sole aim of toppling the Taliban, the US government is back in talks with the very same Taliban. In the interim it has destroyed Iraq, Libya and Syria. Hundreds of thousands have lost their lives to war and sanctions, a whole region has descended into chaos, ancient cities—pounded into dust. Amidst the desolation and the rubble, a monstrosity called Daesh (ISIS) has been spawned. It has spread across the world, indiscriminately murdering ordinary people who had absolutely nothing to do with America’s wars. Over these last few years, given the wars it has waged, and the international treaties it has arbitrarily reneged on, the US Government perfectly fits its own definition of a rogue state. 
**[[Arundhati Roy]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/13/arundhati-roy-literature-shelter-pen-america ''Literature provides shelter. That's why we need it'' (abridged version of Roy's  ''Arthur Miller Freedom to Write Lecture'',)  ''The Guardian'']  (13 May 2019)

* Terrorists aren't trying to kill us because we offended them. They attack us because they want to impose their view of the world on as many people as they can, and America is standing in their way. We need to make it unmistakably clear that we will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to defeat radical Islamic terrorism.
** [[Marco Rubio]], [http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/02/marco-rubios-cpac-speech-the-t.html speech to the Conservative Political Action Committee] (19 February 2010)

* The world is a safer and a better place when the United States is the strongest.
** [[Marco Rubio]], as quoted in [http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/11/10/marco-rubio-and-rand-paul-clash-national-security-fox-business-gop-debate ''Marco Rubio and Rand Paul Clash''] (10 November 2015), by FoxNews Insider. Said during [[w:Republican_Party_presidential_debates,_2016#November_10.2C_2015_.E2.80.93_Milwaukee.2C_Wisconsin|2016 Republican Debate, Milwaukee]].

==S==
[[File:Bill of Rights Pg1of1 AC.jpg|thumb|In the eyes of government, we are just one race here. It is American. ~ [[Antonin Scalia]]]]
[[File:ContinentalArmy_LeffertsWatercolor.jpg|thumb|Today's soldiers, and the democratic fallen, now occupy a prominent place in a long tradition of American liberators. ~ [[w:Joseph Morrison Skelly|Joseph M. Skelly]]]]
[[File:US sailors japan cleanup 2011.jpg|thumb|Whenever challenges face the world, one fact is clear. The world looks to the United States... The United States is 'the indispensable nation' when trouble arises in the world. From responding to humanitarian crises to confronting terrorism, America leads. ~ [[w:Tanya Somanader|Tanya Somanader]]]]
[[File:Stars and Stripes.jpg|thumb|The star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave! ~ ''{{w|The Star-Spangled Banner}}'']]
[[File:Flickr - The U.S. Army - KFOR 12 training.jpg|thumb|Conquer [[w:United States|we]] must, when [[w:United States|our]] cause it is just! ~ &quot;{{w|The Star-Spangled Banner}}&quot;]]

*The US is a force for division, not for [[cooperation]]... The US lost its step on [[w:5G|5G]], which is a critical part of the new digital economy. And [[w:Huawei|Huawei]] was taking a greater and greater share of global markets... The US concocted in my opinion, the view that Huawei is a global threat. And has leaned very hard on US allies... to try to break the relations with Huawei... Do I believe that [[China]] could do more to ease fears that are very real?  I do.... The big choice frankly is in China's hands. If China is [[cooperative]], if it engages in [[diplomacy]], regional cooperation and [[w:multilateralism|multilateralism]]…. then I think that [[Asia]] has an incredibly bright future.
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]], Quoted in [https://www.bbc.com/news/business-53104730 ''US China cold war 'bigger global threat than virus'''   By Karishma Vaswani, ''BBC News''] (21 June 2020)
 
[[File:Emancipation Day in South Carolina (1863), by Frank Leslie's Illustrated Weekly.png|thumb|Painfully convinced of the unutterable wrongs and woes of slavery, profoundly believing that, according to the true spirit of the constitution and the sentiments of the fathers, it can find no place. ~ [[Charles Sumner]]]]
*In 1845, John O’Sullivan coined the phrase “[[Manifest Destiny]]” to justify and celebrate America’s violent annexation of North America. “All this will be our future history,” he wrote in 1839, “to establish on earth the moral dignity and salvation of man – the immutable truth and beneficence of God. For this blessed mission to the nations of the world, which are shut out from the life-giving light of truth, has America been chosen...”&lt;BR&gt;On the basis of such exalted views of its own beneficence, the US engaged in mass enslavement until the Civil War and mass apartheid thereafter; slaughtered Native Americans throughout the nineteenth century and subjugated them thereafter; and, with the closure of the Western frontier, extended Manifest Destiny overseas. Later, with the onset of the Cold War, anti-communist fervor led the US to fight disastrous wars in Southeast Asia (Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia) in the 1960s and 1970s, and brutal wars in Central America in the 1980s.&lt;BR&gt;After the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the evangelical ardor was directed against “radical Islam” or “Islamic fascism,” with four US wars of choice – in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Libya – all of which remain debacles to this day. Suddenly, the supposed existential threat of radical Islam has been forgotten, and the new crusade targets the [[w: Communist party of China |CPC]].
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]],  America’s Unholy Crusade Against China, [[w:Project Syndicate|''Project Syndicate'']], (5 August 2020)

*Many democrats, liberals, traditional conservatives, and even some leftists continue to tell themselves that the election of [[Joe Biden]] was the first step toward restoring U.S. standing in the world after the damage caused by Donald Trump. And in a variety of ways — many stylistic and some substantive — that perspective has merit. But when it comes to [[Foreign policy of the United States|national security policy]], the U.S. has been on a steady, hypermilitarized arc for decades. Taken broadly, U.S. policy has been largely consistent on “national security” and “counterterrorism” matters from 9/11 to the present....&lt;BR&gt;Biden’s election slogan was “America is back.” The truth is that “America” never left. There will be no major departures from the imperial course under Biden. While the drone wars continue, and the shift back to Cold War posturing in Europe and Asia accelerates, Biden will maintain the hostile stance toward left movements and governments throughout Latin America and the Caribbean. On climate change, Biden will reverse some of Trump’s most extreme stances, while still placing the profits of major corporations and the military industry over the health of the planet. The militarization of the borders and the maltreatment of refugees will remain, and the vast domestic surveillance apparatus will endure. The stark truth is this: The interests of the War Party trump any political disputes between the Democrats and the Republicans.
**[[Jeremy Scahill]], [https://theintercept.com/2021/11/21/america-militarism-foreign-policy-bush-obama-trump-biden/ The War Party, From Bush to Obama, and Trump to Biden, U.S. Militarism Is the Great Unifier,  ''The Intercept''] (November 21 2021)

* Individuals who have been wronged by unlawful racial discrimination should be made whole; but under our [[Constitution of the United States|Constitution]] there can be no such thing as either a creditor or a debtor race. That concept is alien to the Constitution's focus upon the individual. ...To pursue the concept of racial entitlement - even for the most admirable and benign of purposes - is to reinforce and preserve for future mischief the way of thinking that produced race slavery, race privilege and race hatred. In the eyes of government, we are just one race here. It is American.
** [[Antonin Scalia]], ''Adarand Constructors, Inc. v. Mineta'', 534 U.S. 103 (1995).

* [I]n America human beings could prove to the world that they have the capacity to govern themselves... [T]he [[w:United States|United States of America]], is not only the most powerful and the most prosperous country on earth, but the most free and the most just.
** [[Peter W. Schramm]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913184002/https://www.claremont.org/crb/article/born-american-but-in-the-wrong-place/ &quot;Born American, But in the Wrong Place&quot;] (5 October 2006), ''Claremont Review of Books''

* The United States started out in 1776 throwing off the accident and force that ruled by hereditary right in the old world, inviting mankind to respect the equal rights of human nature and the revolutionary choice of government by consent.
** [[Peter W. Schramm]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20180913190048/https://www.claremont.org/crb/article/douglass-and-lincoln/ &quot;Douglass and Lincoln&quot;] (12 February 2009), ''Claremont Review of Books''

* The most important nation in the world. ... This is a big country with a history.
** Henne Schuwer, [http://usafmc.org/news/inprofile-schuwer/ interview with Safa Shahwan] (May 2016)

* The right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
** [[Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|''Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution'']] (1791).

* This country does not discriminate. No president, no officer in this country should hold office that has any hint of treating people differently because of the color of their skin or where they came from and that kind of thing. We believe in equality and fair treatment and that's the moral principle that we adhere to as a nation.
** [[Jeff Sessions]], [http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/03/jeff_sessions_on_donald_trump.html interview with Matt Murphy] (2016)

* [[Stephen A. Douglas|Douglas]], no man will ever be [[President of the United States]] who spells 'negro' with two gs.
** [[William H. Seward]], a retort to [[Stephen A. Douglas]] on the Senate floor, after the Illinois senator used an offensive slur in a speech. As quoted in ''Team of Rivals'' (2006), by Doris Kearns Goodwin (New York: Simon and Schuster), p. 163.

* American families are in the process of passing along a $9 trillion legacy from one generation to the next. This is a lot of money, but it is distributed very unevenly.. ... Hand in hand with this money, I submit, what is really being handed down from generation to generation is the profound legacy of reproducing racial inequality. The legacy is difficult to discern because the language of family heritage hides it from our political consciousness.
** [[Thomas M. Shapiro]], ''The Hidden Cost of Being African American: How Wealth Perpetuates Inequality'' (2005), p. 32

* You cannot have peace and a division of [[w:United States|our country]]. If [[w:United States|the United States]] submits to a division [[American Civil War|now]], it will not stop, but will go on until [[w:United States|we]] reap the fate of [[Mexico]], which is eternal [[war]]. [[w:United States|The United States]] does and must assert [[w:United States|its]] authority, wherever [[w:United States|it]] once had power; for, if [[w:United States|it]] relaxes one bit to pressure, [[w:United States|it]] is gone... [[w:United States|We]] do want and will have a just obedience to the laws of [[w:United States|the United States]]. That [[w:United States|we]] will have.
** [[William Tecumseh Sherman]], [[s:Letter to James M. Calhoun, et al., September 12, 1864|letter to the members of the city council of the City of Atlanta]] (12 September 1864).

* In the five centuries since Columbus discovered the New World, savagery has been part of American life. There has been the violence of conquest and resistance, the violence of racial difference, the violence of civil war, the violence of bandits and gangsters, the violence of lynch law, all set against the violence of the wilderness and the city.
** [[w:Andrew Sinclair|Andrew Sinclair]], ''[[w:The Sunday Times|The Sunday Times]]'' (1967).

* Today's soldiers, and the democratic fallen, now occupy a prominent place in a long tradition of American liberators, extending from the [[American Revolution]].
** [[w:Joseph Morrison Skelly|Joseph Morrison Skelly]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20070524182018/http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZjcwZTYwYmFmMGRlZTA1ZTc4ZTRkOGJkZDExMjBmNzM= &quot;The Democratic Fallen: Let us honor those who have defended our right to self-government with their last breaths&quot;] (18 May 2007), ''National Review Online''

* Smoke all night, sleep all day. That to me, is the American way!
** [[w:8Ball &amp; MJG|Premmro Smith]], [http://genius.com/Three-6-mafia-stay-fly-lyrics/ &quot;Stay High&quot;] (7 July 2005), ''Most Known Unknown'' (2005), by Three 6 Mafia.

* We are America! I don't give a rat's ass if it helps! We are America! We do not fucking torture! We don't do it!
** [[Shepard Smith]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG2VF4a0LWs ''Freedom Watch''] (22 April 2009).

* US decline is more in line with global sentiment than it is with fact. The country is still unrivaled in higher education, cultural production, and technological innovation. American universities are among the best in the world, as assessed by several global university rankings, so it’s no surprise the US attracts more international students than anywhere else. The US’s contribution to academic research also exceeds that of any other country. American film, television, and music industries continue to set the pace and trends for the rest of the world and it is unlikely that the dominance of Hollywood will decline anytime soon. And as home to Silicon Valley and some of the largest tech companies in the world – Apple, Google, Facebook, Microsoft to name a few – America leads the way in technology and innovation.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20180304123015/https://softpower30.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/The-Soft-Power-30-Report-2017-Web-1.pdf ''The Soft Power 30: A Global Ranking of Soft Power 2017''] (2017), Portland; USC Center on Public Diplomacy, p. 45

* Whenever challenges face the world, one fact is clear. The world looks to the United States... The United States is 'the indispensable nation' when trouble arises in the world. From responding to humanitarian crises to confronting terrorism, America leads. Because, as the president said, 'that's how we roll'.
* {{w|Tanya Somanader}}, [https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2014/09/29/president-obama-s-how-we-roll &quot;President Obama: That's How We Roll&quot;] (29 September 2014), ''The White House''.

* Consistent with [[Martin Luther King]]'s vision, the government should stop color-coding its citizens.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], &quot;As I See It&quot;, in ''Forbes'' Vol. 158, no. 13 (2 December 1996), p. 48.

* America is the most magnanimous of all imperial powers that have ever existed.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [http://www.hoover.org/research/whats-so-great-about-america &quot;What's So Great about America&quot;], ''Hoover Digest'' (30 July 2002).

* In most countries in the world, your fate and your identity are handed to you; in America, you determine them for yourself. America is a country where you get to write the script of your own life. Your life is like a blank sheet of paper, and you are the artist.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003).

* Americans are the friendliest people you will encounter, but they have few friends.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003), Ch. 1: Why They Hate Us.

* What the immigrant cannot help noticing is that America is a country where the poor live comparatively well. This fact was dramatized in the 1980s, when CBS television broadcast an anti-Reagan documentary, &quot;People Like Us&quot;, which was intended to show the miseries of the poor during an American recession. The Soviet Union also broadcast the documentary, with a view to embarrassing the Reagan administration. But by the testimony of former Soviet leaders, it had the opposite effect. Ordinary people across the Soviet Union saw that the poorest Americans have television sets and microwave ovens and cars. They arrived at the same perception of America that I witnessed in a friend of mine from Bombay who has been unsuccessfully trying to move to the United States for nearly a decade. Finally I asked him, &quot;Why are you so eager to come to America&quot;? He replied, &quot;Because I really want to live in a country where the poor people are fat.&quot;
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003), Ch. 3: Becoming American.

* As an immigrant, I am constantly surprised by how much I hear racism talked about and how little I actually see it. Even fewer are the incidents in which I have experienced it directly.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003), Ch. 4: The Reparations Fallacy.

* America is a new kind of society that produces a new kind of human being. That human being—confident, self-reliant, tolerant, generous, future oriented—is a vast improvement over the wretched, servile, fatalistic, and intolerant human being that traditional societies have always produced, and that Islamic societies produce now.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003), Ch. 6: America the Beautiful.

* America is the greatest, freest, and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''What's So Great About America'' (2003), Ch. 6: America the Beautiful.

* America is an abstaining superpower; it shows no real interest in conquering and subjugating the rest of the world. Imagine how the Soviets would have acted if they had won the Cold War. On occasion the United States intervenes to overthrow a tyrannical regime or to halt massive human rights abuses in another country, but it never stays to rule that country. 
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20151010163703/http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/10-things-to-celebrate-Why-I-m-an-2567319.php#photo-2709803 &quot;10 things to celebrate: Why I'm an anti-anti-American&quot;] (29 June 2003), ''SFGate''.

* Coerced virtues are not virtues at all. Consider the woman who is required to wear a veil. There is no modesty in this, because she is being compelled. Compulsion cannot produce virtue, it can only produce the outward semblance of virtue. Thus a free society like America's is not merely more prosperous, more varied, more peaceful, and more tolerant; it is also morally superior to the theocratic and authoritarian regimes that America's enemies advocate.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20151010163703/http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/10-things-to-celebrate-Why-I-m-an-2567319.php#photo-2709803 &quot;10 things to celebrate: Why I'm an anti-anti-American&quot;] (29 June 2003), ''SFGate''.

* We should love our country not just because it is ours, but also because it is good. America is far from perfect, and there is lots of room for improvement. In spite of its flaws, however, American life as it is lived today is the best life that our world has to offer. Ultimately America is worthy of our love and sacrifice because, more than any other society, it makes possible the good life, and the life that is good.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20151010163703/http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/10-things-to-celebrate-Why-I-m-an-2567319.php#photo-2709803 &quot;10 things to celebrate: Why I'm an anti-anti-American&quot;] (29 June 2003), ''SFGate''.

* When I was a kid, I would sit on the floor of my house in Mumbai and I would read about the great nations, the great empires. The Roman Empire, the Ottoman Empire, the British Empire... they all came and they all went. But I always thought there was one exception to that rule, and that's the United States of America, which is a different kind of empire, if it's an empire at all. It's an empire of ideals.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''2016: Obama's America'' (2012).

* The world still needs America. We remain the custodians of the idea that wealth should be obtained through invention and trade, not through forced seizure.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''America: Imagine a World without Her'' (2014), Ch. 16: Decline Is a Choice.

* I love America. I chose this country. And like millions of immigrants, I've been blessed by my life in America. This country does something truly unique. It allows you to write the script of your own life.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014).

* We are a nation of immigrants and settlers. 
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014).

* Slavery existed all over the world. The Egyptians had slaves. The Chinese had slaves. The Africans did. American Indians had slaves long before Columbus, and tragically, slavery continues today in many countries. What's uniquely [[w:Western Hemisphere|western]] is the abolition of slavery, and what's uniquely American is the fighting of a great war to end it.
** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014).

* Other nations may deem their flags the best and cheer them with fervid elation, but the [[w:Flag of the United States|flag of the north and south and west is the flag of flags, the flag of]] [[w:United States|freedom's nation]]. Hurrah for the flag of the free, may it wave as our standard forever! The gem of the land and the sea, the banner of the right. Let despots remember the day when our fathers with mighty endeavor, proclaimed as they marched to the fray, that by their might and by their right, it waves forever.
** {{w|John Philip Sousa}}, &quot;{{w|The Stars and Stripes Forever}}&quot; (1897).

* It was always accounted a virtue in a man to love his country. With us it is now something more than a virtue. It is a necessity. When an American says that he loves his country, he means not only that he loves the New England hills, the prairies glistening in the sun, the wide and rising plains, the great mountains, and the sea. He means that he loves an inner air, an inner light in which freedom lives and in which a man can draw the breath of self-respect. Men who have offered their lives for their country know that patriotism is not the fear of something; it is the love of something.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], speech to the American Legion convention (27 August 1952), New York City. As quoted in &quot;Democratic Candidate Adlai Stevenson Defines the Nature of Patriotism&quot; in ''Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches In History'' (2004) by William Safire, pp. 81-82.

* I like the United States in many ways. I like the people, I like the atmosphere. I like to travel around also when I am able to get out of Washington or New York, and I like the food. Especially the meat. The steak is excellent, and I had a very good steak in New York a couple of days ago and you can't get that kind of steak in [[Europe]], so big and so tender, that's one of the reasons I like to come to the United States.
** [[Jens Stoltenberg]], [https://soundcloud.com/belfercenter/office-hours-jens-stoltenberg-on-nato-russia-and-his-favorite-american-meal?in=belfercenter/sets/office-hours interview with Aroop Mukharji]

* [[w:Tony Montana|Tony Montana]]: What I try to tell you? This country, you gotta make the [[money]] first. Then when you get the money, you get the [[power]]. Then when you get the power, then you get the [[woman]]. That's why you gotta make your own moves.
** [[Oliver Stone]], ''[[w:Scarface (1983 film)|Scarface]]'' (1983)

*Former president Jimmy Carter recently made a profound and damning statement — '''the United States is the “most warlike nation in the history of the world.”'''  Carter contrasted the United States with [[China]], saying that China is building high-speed trains for its people while the United States is putting all of its resources into mass destruction. Where are high-speed trains in the United States, Carter appropriately wondered.
*As if to prove Carter’s assertion, Vice President [[Mike Pence]] told the most recent graduating class at West Point that it “is a virtual certainty that you will fight on a battlefield for America at some point in your life... You will lead soldiers in combat. It will happen.” Clearly referring to [[Venezuela]], Pence continued, “Some of you may even be called upon to serve in this hemisphere.” In other words, Pence declared, war is inevitable, a certainty for this country.
**[https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2019/07/01/must-stop-our-nation-push-for-relentless-war/Oe1EOC1wbv8Jca6FSuXSzK/story.html '''''We must stop our nation’s push for relentless war''''', Oliver Stone and Dan Kovalik, ''Boston Globe,'']  (July 1, 2019)

*As one of our interviewers... says in the film, '''once you kill a sitting president in high noon in Dealey Plaza and blow his head off, you're not going to go back to normal''' and say, &quot;Oh, wow! We found this whacky--this crazy lone nut who killed him.&quot; It doesn't work. It doesn't really work as a narrative for this country. What happened was much deeper than that, and there was so many inconsistencies, so many holes in the Warren Commission... The point is that '''you cannot remove legitimacy from government like that and get away with it, and the people knew something was wrong. They didn't know exactly what was wrong, but they sensed that something had gone astray, like anarchy has set in...'''
**[[Oliver Stone]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,]   (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on youtube])  ''The Washington Post'' (12 May  2021)

*After Kennedy was killed, and nobody asked, you know, what was Kennedy's real policy on Vietnam? Well... he was going to pull out of Vietnam. He was very clear about it, and that's what people get confused. Johnson, Lyndon Johnson, who took over the office went right to war quickly... this is... where we went to a war on a false basis. It was a lie, another lie, and that war was a disaster... Unfortunately, the same forces that made that war happen continued in our life... in Iraq... and on and on. We're still stuck in this. We're stuck in a military industrial syndrome where a lot of money, trillions of dollars, are spent fighting wars abroad against forces that we call &quot;darkness&quot; and &quot;evil,&quot; but we don't really know who the enemy is. '''I think we propagandize an enemy, make him far bigger than he is, and I don't know what we're fighting. We're just fighting because the military needs to keep going and needs to be funded,''' as though the intelligence agencies which have enormous amount of budget...

*If you look at the reporting from all of our major networks, it's very hostile when it comes to people who we deem to be enemies, whether it's Chávez or whether it's Castro or Putin... It's not necessary to be their enemy. It's necessary to get them to express themselves. That's my point of view, and I guess you could say I'm a dramatist. And I think they're great stories. I'm very proud of those movies. I took a lot of heat, flack for the last one for Putin, but frankly, I'm very proud of it. It's a record for all time of a man who very few people have gotten to. Even the Russians tell me they've never seen their president so frank as he was on that interview.
**[[Oliver Stone]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,]   (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on youtube])  ''The Washington Post'' (12 May  2021)

*'''There's been a campaign, a war against Russia going on for a long time. It started again in the United States around 2006... there's no evidence really of the aggressiveness of Russia. The aggressiveness is truly coming from the NATO forces that have encircled Russia and that are also, by the way, encircling China. You know, this is a big policy point, huge, of huge importance, and if my life has any importance, maybe I'll come to a place where I can deal with it, confront it... we have to have people in the United States who speak up for the peace point of view, for let's make progress with the world. Let's get along with China. Let's get along with Russia, Iran, and so forth. We have to change our point of view because we are seeking to still be the only power in the world that is in control of the world. We cannot continue on this path; it's a suicidal path. And I think many Americans agree with me, but it's never been allowed to be stated politically. People who say this type of stuff never win elections because they're ridiculed or marginalized in the press, to be honest.'''
**[[Oliver Stone]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,]   (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on youtube])  ''The Washington Post'' (12 May  2021)

*We have a ''[[right]]'' to take ''[[pictures]]'' in [[w:United States|America]], and that includes [[filming]] the [[w:Law enforcement in the United States|police]].
**[[John Stossel]], &quot;The Riot Police&quot;, ''Stossel'' (21 August 2014), 9:27–9:28 PM ET.

*Painfully convinced of the unutterable wrongs and woes of slavery; profoundly believing that, according to the true spirit of the Constitution and the sentiments of the fathers, it can find no place under our National Government.
**[[Charles Sumner]], ''Freedom National, Slavery Sectional'' (27 July 1852), United States Senate.

==T==
[[File:Nassim_Nicholas_Taleb_2013.jpg|thumb|right|...about 10 percent of Americans will spend at least a year in the top 1 percent, and more than half of all Americans will spent a year in the top 10 percent. [[Nassim Nicholas Taleb]]]]
[[File:American Bald Eagle.jpg|thumb|How unique is the United States of America. No other nation has been created so swiftly and successfully. No other nation has been built upon an idea; the idea of liberty. No other nation has so successfully combined people of different races and nations within a single culture. ~ [[Margaret Thatcher]]]]
[[File:Flag from Behind the Eagle.jpg|thumb|Both the founding fathers of the United States and successive waves of immigrants to your country were determined to create a new identity. Whether in flight from persecution or from poverty, the huddled masses have, with few exceptions, welcomed American values, the American way of life and American opportunities. And America herself has bound them to her with powerful bonds of patriotism and pride. ~ [[Margaret Thatcher]]]]
[[File:Alexis de tocqueville.jpg|thumb|In the United States, the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own. ~ [[Alexis de Tocqueville]]]]
* Static inequality is a snapshot view of inequality; it does not reflect what will happen to you in the course of your life.&lt;br&gt;Consider that about 10 percent of Americans will spend at least a year in the top 1 percent, and more than half of all Americans will spent a year in the top 10 percent.&lt;br&gt; This is visibly not the same for the more static—but nominally more equal—[[Europe]]. For instance, only 10 percent of the wealthiest five hundred American people or dynasties were so thirty years ago; more than 60 percent on the French list are heirs and a third of the richest Europeans were the richest centuries ago. In Florence, it was just revealed that things are even worse: the same handful of families have kept the wealth for five centuries.
** [[Nassim Nicholas Taleb]], ''Skin in the Game: Hidden Asymmetries in Daily Life'' (2018, Random House)
* We favor strengthening our common American identity and loyalty, which includes the contribution and assimilation of different racial and ethnic groups.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20140619231738/http://www.texasgop.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/2014-Platform-Final.pdf ''Texan Republican Party Platform of 2014''] (June 2014), by the Republican Party of Texas, Texas

* The reason why I gave up all the privileges and economic benefits was that I felt I could not let my sons lead a life like me, as a modern-day slave. I believed the best legacy I could leave for my sons was to give them the freedom that is so common to everyone in America. 
** [[Thae Yong-ho]], [http://docs.house.gov/meetings/FA/FA00/20171101/106577/HHRG-115-FA00-Wstate-Yong-hoT-20171101.pdf remarks to the U.S. Congress] (1 November 2017)

* Americans and Europeans alike sometimes forget how unique is the United States of America. No other nation has been created so swiftly and successfully. No other nation has been built upon an idea; the idea of liberty. No other nation has so successfully combined people of different races and nations within a single culture. Both the founding fathers of the United States and successive waves of immigrants to your country were determined to create a new identity. Whether in flight from persecution or from poverty, the huddled masses have, with few exceptions, welcomed American values, the American way of life and American opportunities. And America herself has bound them to her with powerful bonds of patriotism and pride. The European nations are not and can never be like this. They are the product of history and not of philosophy. You can construct a nation on an idea; but you cannot reconstruct a nation on the basis of one.
** [[Margaret Thatcher]], [http://www.margaretthatcher.org/document/108264 speech at Hoover Institution lunch] (8 March 1991)

* Despite some of the nonsense that has been said about me by those who should know better, and so much nonsense, or some of which subtracts from the sum total of human knowledge, despite this all, I am a man, a black man, an American. And my history is not unlike that of many blacks from the deep South. And in many ways it is not that much different from that of many other Americans.
** [[Clarence Thomas]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20021224165710/http://africanamericans.com/ClarenceThomas.htm speech given at the annual meeting of the National Bar Association] (29 July 1998)

* Human dignity has long been understood in this country to be innate. When the framers proclaimed in [[w:United States Declaration of Independence|the Declaration of Independence]] that 'all men are created equal' and 'endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights', they referred to a vision of mankind in which all humans are created in the image of [[God]] and therefore of inherent worth. That vision is the foundation upon which this nation was built. The corollary of that principle is that human dignity cannot be taken away by the government. Slaves did not lose their dignity, any more than they lost their humanity, because the government allowed them to be enslaved. Those held in internment camps did not lose their dignity because the government confined them. And those denied governmental benefits certainly do not lose their dignity because the government denies them those benefits. The government cannot bestow dignity, and it cannot take it away.
** [[Clarence Thomas]], [http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf ''Obergefell v. Hodges''] (26 June 2015), pp. 16&amp;ndash;17

* We were never hyphenated as Arab-Americans. We were American, and I have always rejected the hyphen and I believe all assimilated immigrants should not be designated ethnically. Or separated, of course, by race, or creed either. These are trends that ever try to divide us as a people.
** [[Helen Thomas]], as quoted in [http://books.google.com/?id=h4qpzo7yNxEC&amp;pg=PA238&amp;dq=tripoli+%22helen+thomas%22&amp;q=tripoli%20%22helen%20thomas%22''My America: what my country means to me by 150 Americans from all walks of life''] (2002), Simon &amp; Schuster, p. 238

* Americans of all ages, all stations of life, and all types of disposition are forever forming associations... In democratic countries knowledge of how to combine is the mother of all other forms of knowledge; on its progress depends that of all the others... The people reign in the American political world as the Deity does in the universe. They are the cause and the aim of all things; everything comes from them, and everything is absorbed in them... In the United States the sovereign authority is religious, and consequently hypocrisy must be common; but there is no country in the world where the Christian religion retains a greater influence over the souls of men than in America; and there can be no greater proof of its utility and of its conformity to human nature than that its influence is powerfully felt over the most enlightened and free nation of the earth.
** [[Alexis de Tocqueville]], ''{{w|Democracy in America}}''.

* In the United States, the majority undertakes to supply a multitude of ready-made opinions for the use of individuals, who are thus relieved from the necessity of forming opinions of their own.
** [[Alexis de Tocqueville]], ''{{w|Democracy in America}}'', Volume II, Book I, Chapter II (1840)

*America...has neither king, nobility nor clergy established by law and it is notwithstanding, I am satisfied, at this hour, the most flourishing and the best governed spot on the face of this earth.
**[[Theobald Wolfe Tone]], address to the peasantry of Ireland, by A Traveller (14 October 1796), quoted in  Theobald Wolfe Tone, ''The Writings of Theobold Wolfe Tone, 1763–98, Volume II: America, France and Bantry Bay, August 1795 to December 1796'', eds. T. W. Moody, R. B. McDowell and C. J. Woods (2001), p. 352

* There is only one possible route of action, Greenhouse gases have to be radically reduced and it has to happen worldwide. Until now, the U.S. has kept its eyes shut to this emergency. [Americans] make up a mere 4 percent of the population, but are responsible for close to a quarter of emissions.
** [[w:Jürgen Trittin|Jürgen Trittin]], ''[[w:DER SPIEGEL|Der Spiegel Online]]'' (30 August 2005)

* I am not worried about the Communist Party taking over the [[Federal government of the United States|Government of the United States]], but I am against a person, whose loyalty is not to the Government of the United States, holding a Government job. They are entirely different things. I am not worried about this country ever going Communist. We have too much sense for that.
** [[Harry S. Truman]], responding to a question at his press conference (February 28, 1947); reported in ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: Harry S. Truman, 1947'', p. 191

* No nation on this globe should be more internationally minded than America because it was built by all nations.
** [[Harry S. Truman]], speech at Chicago on 17 March 1945, as recorded in ''Good Old Harry''
*At the present moment in world history nearly every nation must choose between alternative ways of life. The choice is too often not a free one. One way of life is based upon the will of the majority, and is distinguished by free institutions, representative government, free elections, guarantees of individual liberty, freedom of speech and religion, and freedom from political oppression. The second way of life is based upon the will of a minority forcibly imposed upon the majority. It relies upon terror and oppression, a controlled press and radio, fixed elections, and the suppression of personal freedoms. I believe that it must be the policy of the United States to support free peoples who are resisting attempted subjugation by armed minorities or by outside pressures. I believe that we must assist free peoples to work out their own destinies in their own way. I believe that our help should be primarily through economic and financial aid which is essential to economic stability and orderly political processes. The world is not static, and the status quo is not sacred. But we cannot allow changes in the status quo in violation of the Charter of the United Nations by such methods as coercion, or by such subterfuges as political infiltration. In helping free and independent nations to maintain their freedom, the United States will be giving effect to the principles of the Charter of the United Nations.
**[[Harry S. Truman]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/harrystrumantrumandoctrine.html The Truman Doctrine], delivered 12 March 1947 before a Joint Session of Congress

* Our country is being run horribly... Our country is a mess.
** [[Donald Trump]], [http://time.com/4182096/republican-debate-charleston-transcript-full-text/ Sixth Republican Debate in Charleston], ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' (14 January 2016)

* America is governed by Americans. We reject the ideology of [[globalism]] and we embrace the doctrine of [[patriotism]].
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UrDqWODR2NY Address at the 74th Session of the UN General Assembly]

*America is a nation of believers, dreamers, and strivers that is being led by a group of censors, critics, and cynics.
*We must choose to Believe In America. History is watching us now.
**[[Donald Trump]], [https://www.vox.com/2016/7/21/12253426/donald-trump-acceptance-speech-transcript-republican-nomination-transcript &quot;Full transcript of Donald Trump’s acceptance speech at the RNC&quot;, ''Vox'' (22 July 2016)] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs0pZ_GrTy8 &quot;Donald Trump's entire Republican convention speech&quot;, ''CNN'' (21 July 2016)] · [http://www.politico.com/story/2016/07/full-transcript-donald-trump-nomination-acceptance-speech-at-rnc-225974 Donald Trump 2016 RNC draft speech transcript], ''{{w|Politico}}'' (21 July 2016)

* I respect this country. I love this country. This country which gives chance to everybody else to be treated as a human being and to just to be human being. To feel yourself human being.
** Ruslan Tsarni, as quoted in [http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-suspects-uncle &quot;The Suspect's Uncle&quot;] (19 April 2013), by Nicholas Thompson, ''New Yorker''

*No [[California]] gentleman or lady ever abuses or oppresses a Chinaman, under any circumstances, an explanation that seems to be much needed in the east. Only the scum of the population do it; they and their children. They, and, naturally and consistently, the policemen and politicians, likewise, for these are the dust-licking pimps and slaves of the scum, there as well as elsewhere in America.
** [[Mark Twain]], [http://www.friesian.com/quotes.htm ''Roughing It'']

* I think it's un-American not to go out with a woman, not to be with a beautiful woman, not to get my dick sucked.
** [[Mike Tyson]], as quoted in [http://espn.go.com/boxing/news/2002/0503/1377497.html ''ESPN''] (2002)

==U==
* Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
** [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|''First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution'']] (1791).

* Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on the confession in open court.
** [[w:Article Three of the United States Constitution|Article III of the United States Constitution]] (1787), Section III.

* The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
** [[w:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|''Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution'']] (1791).

* The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.
** [[w:No Religious Test Clause|Paragraph III]], [[w:Article Six of the United States Constitution|Article IV of the United States Constitution]] (1787).

* The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.
** Fifteenth Amendment to the ''United States Constitution''
[[File:Sumter.jpg|thumb|Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. ~ [[w:Article Three of the United States Constitution|Section III, Article III of the U.S. Constitution]]]]
[[File:15th-amendment-celebration-1870.jpg|thumb|The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude. ~ Fifteenth Amendment to the ''[[United States Constitution]]'']]
[[File:&quot;Freedom of Worship&quot; - NARA - 513537.jpg|thumb|No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States. ~ [[w:No Religious Test Clause|Paragraph III]], [[w:Article Six of the United States Constitution|Article IV of the United States Constitution]]]]
[[File:Harriet Tubman Civil War Woodcut.jpg|thumb|The right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. ~ [[Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|''Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution'']]]]


==V==
[[File:La_B%C3%AAte_de_la_Mer.jpg|thumb|Stand tall for the beast of America. &lt;br&gt; Lay down like a [[naked]] [[dead]] [[body]], &lt;br&gt; keep it [[real]] for the people workin' [[w:Overtime|overtime]], &lt;br&gt; they can't stay living off the [[governments]] dime. ~ [[w:Nico Vega|Nico Vega]]]]
* [[w:United States|There]], they'll deport you. In [[Mexico]] they'll probably let you go, but they'll beat you up and steal everything you've got first.
** [[w:Hector Vázquez|Hector Vázquez]], as quoted in [http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-05-25-mexico-migrants_N.htm?csp=34news &quot;Activists blast Mexico’s immigration law&quot;] (25 May 2010), ''USA Today''.

* Stand tall for the beast of America. &lt;br&gt; Lay down like a naked dead body, &lt;br&gt; keep it real for the people workin' overtime, &lt;br&gt; they can't stay living off the governments dime.
** [[w:Nico Vega|Nico Vega]], [[w:Beast (Nico Vega song)|&quot;Beast&quot;]], ''chooseyourwordspoorly'', (2006).

* That all men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights, of which, when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety.
** ''{{w|Virginia Declaration of Rights}}'' (12 June 1776)

==W==
[[File:GeorgeWashington.jpg|thumb|The preservation of the sacred fire of liberty, and the destiny of the republican model of government, are justly considered as deeply, perhaps as finally staked, on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:US flag 13 stars.svg|thumb|Citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for giving to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy. A policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:Eagle and American Flag by Bubbels.jpg|thumb|It is of infinite moment, that you should properly estimate the immense value of your national Union to your collective and individual happines; that you should cherish a cordial, habitual, and immovable attachment to it; accustoming yourselves to think and speak of it as of the Palladium of your political safety and prosperity; watching for its preservation with jealous anxiety... ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:US Navy 070704-N-2893B-002 Personnelman 2nd Class Jorge Fernandez is among 10 new American citizens sworn in during a naturalization ceremony aboard USS Constitution on her Independence Day underway demonstration.jpg|thumb|America is open to receive not only the Opulent and respectable Stranger, but the oppressed and persecuted of all Nations And Religions; whom we shall wellcome to a participation of all our rights and previleges. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:Capitol 07130011.jpg|thumb|For happily the government of the United States, which gives to [[bigotry]] no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:Adas Israel Synagogue DC.JPG|thumb|In this enlightened age, and in this land of equal liberty, it is our boast, that a man's religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the laws, nor deprive him of the right of attaining and holding the highest offices that are known in the United States. ~ [[George Washington]]]]
[[File:Sunrise_in_Midtown,_New_York_City_-_January_16,_2013.jpg|thumb|The next Augustan age will dawn on [[Americas|the other side of the Atlantic]]. There will, perhaps, be a Thucydides at Boston, a Xenophon at [[New York City|New York]]... ~ [[Horace Walpole]]]]
[[File:San Francisco, California. Flag of allegiance pledge at Raphael Weill Public School, Geary and Buch . . . - NARA - 537476.tif|thumb|As a nation based on the idea of equality, America has been a melting pot. It has taken people from diverse traditions and turned them into freedom-loving and decent citizens... In principle, people of all races can become citizens of a nation based on the idea that ''{{'}}all men are created equal{{'}}''. ~ [[w:Thomas G. West|Thomas West]]]]
* The next Augustan age will dawn on the other side of the Atlantic. There will, perhaps, be a Thucydides at Boston, a Xenophon at [[New York]], and, in time, a Virgil at [[Mexico]], and a Newton at [[Peru]].
** [[Horace Walpole]], English art historian, writer, antiquarian and politician in a letter to Sir Horace Mann (November 24, 1774)

* We don't believe in credibility, because we know that we're fucking incredible... We don't like to kill our unborn, we need them to grow up and fight our wars.
** [[Marilyn Manson|Brian Warner]], &quot;[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/marilynmanson/werefromamerica.html We're From America]&quot;, ''The High End of Low'' (2009).

* I believe the preservation of our civil liberties to be the most fundamental and important of all our governmental problems, because it always has been with us and always will be with us and if we ever permit those liberties to be destroyed, there will be nothing left in our system worthy of preservation. They constitute the soul of democracy. I believe that there is grave danger in this country of losing our civil liberties as they have been lost in other countries. 
** [[Earl Warren]], views on civil rights declared in a written statement requested by {{w|Robert W. Kenny}}, read during fundraising luncheon at the Biltmore Hotel, in Los Angeles, in the summer of 1938, as quoted in ''Lawyers Guild Review'' Vol. 13-14 (1953), p. 47.

* We have consistently denied the constitutionality of measures which restrict the rights of citizens on account of race. There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the Equal Protection Clause.
** [[Earl Warren]], [http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-African-Science-Explodes-Myth/dp/1633880184/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 ''Loving v. Virginia''] (1967).

* Unhappy it is though to reflect, that a Brother's Sword has been sheathed in a Brother's breast, and that, the once happy and peaceful plains of America are either to be drenched with Blood, or Inhabited by Slaves. Sad alternative! But can a virtuous Man hesitate in his choice?
** [[George Washington]], [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/mgw:@field(DOCID+@lit(gw030206)) letter to George William Fairfax] (May 31, 1775)

* I am sure there never was a people, who had more reason to acknowledge a divine interposition in their affairs, than those of the United States; and I should be pained to believe, that they have forgotten that agency, which was so often manifested during our revolution, or that they failed to consider the omnipotence of that God, who is alone able to protect them.
** [[George Washington]], letter to John Armstrong (March 11, 1782), as quoted in Ford's ''Writings of George Washington'' (1891), vol. XII, p. 111.

* America is open to receive not only the Opulent and respectable Stranger, but the oppressed and persecuted of all Nations And Religions; whom we shall wellcome to a participation of all our rights and previleges, if by decency and propriety of conduct they appear to merit the enjoyment.
** [[George Washington]], letter to the members of the Volunteer Association and other Inhabitants of the Kingdom of Ireland who have lately arrived in the City of New York (December 2, 1783), as quoted in John C. Fitzpatrick, ed., ''The Writings of George Washington'' (1938), vol. 27, p. 254.

* The establishment of our new government seemed to be the last great experiment for promoting human happiness by a reasonable compact in civil society. It was to be in the first instance, in a considerable degree, a government of accommodation as well as a government of laws. Much was to be done by prudence, much by conciliation, much by firmness. Few, who are not philosophical spectators, can realize the difficult and delicate part, which a man in my situation had to act. All see, and most admire, the glare which hovers round the external happiness of elevated office.
** [[George Washington]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20160218134748/http://www.bartleby.com/400/prose/421.html letter to Catharine Macaulay Graham] (January 9, 1790), New York.

* I dwell on this prospect with every satisfaction which an ardent love for my Country can inspire: since there is no truth more thoroughly established, than that there exists in the oeconomy and course of nature, an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness, between duty and advantage, between the genuine maxims of an honest and magnanimous policy, and the solid rewards of public prosperity and felicity: Since we ought to be no less persuaded that the propitious smiles of Heaven, can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right, which Heaven itself has ordained: And since the preservation of the sacred fire of liberty, and the destiny of the Republican model of Government, are justly considered as deeply, perhaps as finally staked, on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people.
** First Inaugural Address (April 30, 1789), published in The Writings of [[George Washington]], edited by John C. Fitzpatrick, Vol. 30, pp. 294-5.

* The Citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for giving to Mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy: a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. It is now no more that toleration is spoken of, as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights. For happily the government of the United States, which gives to [[bigotry]] no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support.
** [[George Washington]], letter to the Hebrew Congregation of Newport (1790).

* We have abundant reason to rejoice, that, in this land, the light of truth and reason has triumphed over the power of [[bigotry]] and superstition, and that every person may here worship God according to the dictates of his own heart. In this enlightened age, and in this land of equal liberty, it is our boast, that a man's religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the laws, nor deprive him of the right of attaining &amp; holding the highest offices that are known in the United States.
** [[George Washington]], [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/ampage?collId=mgw2&amp;fileName=gwpage039.db&amp;recNum=111 letter to The New Church] (January 22, 1793)

* It is of infinite moment, that you should properly estimate the immense value of your national Union to your collective and individual happiness; that you should cherish a cordial, habitual, and immovable attachment to it; accustoming yourselves to think and speak of it as of the Palladium of your political safety and prosperity; watching for its preservation with jealous anxiety; discountenancing whatever may suggest even a suspicion, that it can in any event be abandoned; and indignantly frowning upon the first dawning of every attempt to alienate any portion of our country from the rest, or to enfeeble the sacred ties which now link together the various parts.
** [[George Washington]], [[s:Washington's Farewell Address|Farewell Address]] (September 17, 1796)

* While, then, every part of our country thus feels an immediate and particular interest in Union, all the parts combined cannot fail to find in the united mass of means and efforts greater strength, greater resource, proportionably greater security from external danger, a less frequent interruption of their peace by foreign nations; and, what is of inestimable value, they must derive from Union an exemption from those broils and wars between themselves, which so frequently afflict neighboring countries not tied together by the same governments, which their own rivalships alone would be sufficient to produce, but which opposite foreign alliances, attachments, and intrigues would stimulate and embitter.
** [[George Washington]], [[s:Washington's Farewell Address|farewell address]] (17 September 1796).

* Not only do I pray for it, on the score of human dignity, but I can clearly forsee that nothing but the rooting out of slavery can perpetuate the existence of our union, by consolidating it in a common bond of principle.
** Attributed to [[George Washington]], John Bernard, Retrospections of America, 1797–1811, p. 91 (1887). This is from Bernard's account of a conversation he had with Washington in 1798. Reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989).

* &lt;p&gt;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them, if that's what you're asking. Our so-called stealing of this country from them was just a matter of survival. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Look, I'm sure there have been inequalities. If those inequalities are presently affecting any of the Indians now alive, they have a right to a court hearing. But what happened 100 years ago in our country can't be blamed on us today...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This may come as a surprise to you, but I wasn't alive when reservations were created — even if I do look that old. I have no idea what the best method of dealing with the Indians in the 1800s would have been. Our forefathers evidently thought they were doing the right thing.&lt;/p&gt; 
:* [[John Wayne]], as quoted in [http://www.snopes.com/quotes/johnwayne/indians.asp ''Playboy''] (May 1971).

* I never use the words [[Democrats]] and [[Republicans]]. It's [[liberals]] and Americans.
** [[James G. Watt]], in a statement of November 1981, quoted in ''New York Times'' (10 October 1983); also quoted in ''Energy and Environment : The Unfinished Business'' (1986) by Congressional Quarterly, Inc., p. 91.

* [[W:United States of America|One country]], one constitution, one destiny.
** [[Daniel Webster]], Speech (15 March 1837); reported in Edward Everett, ed., The Works of Daniel Webster (1851), page 349

* Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed; as they are in almost every kingdom of [[Europe]]. The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword; because the whole body of the people are armed, and constitute a force superior to any bands of regular troops that can be, on any pretense, raised in the United States.
** [[Noah Webster]], writing under the ''nom de plume'' of &quot;A Citizen of America&quot;, as quoted in ''An Examination Into the Leading Principles of the Constitution'' (17 October 1787).

* If we don't get gun-control laws in this country, we are full of beans. To have the National Rifle Association rule the United States is pathetic. And I agree with Mayor Michael Bloomberg: It's time to put up or shut up about gun control for both parties.
** {{w|Harvey Weinstein}}, as quoted in [https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/harvey-weinstein-colorado-shooting-dark-knight-rises-354978 Harvey Weinstein Calls for Filmmaker Summit on Violence in Movies After Colorado Shooting] by Pamela McClintock, ''HollyWood Reporter'', July 26, 2012

* As a nation based on the idea of equality, America has been a melting pot. It has taken people from diverse traditions and turned them into freedom-loving and decent citizens... In principle, people of all races can become citizens of [[w:United States|a nation based on the idea that 'all men are created equal']].
** [[w:Thomas G. West|Thomas West]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=DjlpSl-x1gMC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=vindicating+the+founders&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC8Q6AEwAGoVChMI0Jf4v8jRxwIVAXo-Ch1tYgf2#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Vindicating the Founders''] (2001), Rowman &amp; Littlefield Publishers, Inc., p. 28.

* No more, America, in mournful strain. Of wrongs, and grievance unredress'd complain. No longer shalt thou dread the iron chain. Which wanton Tyranny with lawless hand. Had made, and with it meant t' enslave the land.
** [[Phillis Wheatley]], &quot;To The Right Honorable William, Earl of Dartmouth&quot; st. 2-3, ''Poems on Various Subjects, Religious and Moral'' (1773).

* I was a very minor missionary, actually a heretic, but I toiled wholeheartedly in the vineyards because it was fun, fun, fun. Where else could a red-blooded American boy lie, kill, cheat, steal, rape, and pillage with the sanction and blessing of the All-Highest?
**{{w|George White}}, head of {{w|Operation Midnight Climax}}, as quoted in ''The Strength of the Wolf: The Secret History of America's War on Drugs'', by Douglas Valentine.

* Looking out a dirty old window, down below the cars in the city go rushing by. I sit here alone and I wonder why... We're the kids in America! We're the kids in America! Everybody lives for the music, go round!
** {{w|Kim Wilde}}, &quot;{{w|Kids in America}}&quot; (1981), ''[[w:Kim Wilde (album)|Kim Wilde]]''.

* I'm not leaving, now. Honey, not a chance.
** {{w|Kim Wilde}}, &quot;{{w|Kids in America}}&quot; (1981), ''[[w:Kim Wilde (album)|Kim Wilde]]''.

* America has always been very visible... I'm still proud to be from the country that I'm from, I still love the country that I'm from. I'm still able to achieve great things here and I'm doing my best to do so. But, it's amazing. When we came together like that, when we put our differences aside and we declared war on the people that harmed us... When we got together to help the people and the families of the people that died... It made me feel amazing. It made me feel patriotic, it made me feel strong, it made me love this country in a way that in all my years I'd never really loved it. You know? Because that's the America we all dream of. That's the America that we all want, this America that's strong, and powerful and strikes back when necessary. The sleeping giant that we were taught about in our history books, ready to just to just be the super-power that we need to be and having the best army in the world and wow. Wow. A congress and a president that'll work together, and what have we become? Eleven years later? Eleven years later we don't have those answers that we wanted... We've done so much to gut ourselves. We've done so much to gut our freedoms... At the end of the day, the America that we could have been had we stayed on that path, the America that we could have been had we stayed together, had we worked hard to rebuild, to be better to be stronger, is a dream again. You know, and that's really sad... We're more divided than we've ever been, and that? That breaks my heart... You? If you're under the age of eighteen, you've never lived in an America like ours. You know? You've lived in a good country, don't get me wrong. You've lived in a fantastic country, one that's ailing right now, there's no arguing that. But, so close and yet? So far... I remember that American dream, and I just wonder. I wonder if America can ever be the same again. We'll see.
** Steven Williams, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHfrce1Yd48 &quot;Story Time With Boogie: September 11th, 2001&quot;] (September 2012), ''YouTube''.

* The underlying cause has to do with deep, deep, deep realms of racial injustice, both in our criminal justice system and in our economic system... The Democratic Party should be on the side of [[reparations for slavery]] for this very reason... I do not believe that the average American is a racist, but the average American is woefully undereducated about the history of race in the United States. 
* What [[Reparations for slavery|reparations]] carry that race-based policies do not, is that reparations carry spiritual force there is an inherent mea culpa it is more than just economic restitution, its more than just economic restitution... It is a moral and an emotional and a psychological effect of reparations because it is an inherent acknowledgment of a wrong that has been done and a willingness to right it.
* You simply cannot have the future you want if you are not willing to clean up your past... And its time for us to put some things to bed on that issue. Its time. The civil war was over in 1865.
**[[Marianne Williamson]] quoted in [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/long-shot-2020-dem-marianne-williamson-calls-for-reparations-after-debate-skirmish-over-south-bend-shooting ''Long-shot 2020 Dem Marianne Williamson calls for reparations, after debate skirmish over South Bend shooting'']  (28 June 2019)

*'''13 million children are hungry in America. Yet most politicians do not even talk about it.''' Children aren’t old enough to vote, nor old enough to work therefore they have no financial leverage. They’re not old enough to advocate for themselves. That’s our job.
*The political establishment has simply normalized the despair of millions of American children who are chronically traumatized by poverty, hunger, and all manner of violence. This is what happens when government becomes more an instrument of corporate profits then of conscience.  
*The vulnerabilities, challenges and chronic trauma of millions of American children should be recognized as a social justice issue. An economic system with no particular use for children - or for older people - has left both groups underserved.
*'''This country shouldn’t be run like a business, it should be run like a family. First we should take care of our children &amp; older people, making sure they have everything they need to thrive. Everything else would then heal itself from there.''' Moral repair precedes societal repair.
:*[[Marianne Williamson]],[https://twitter.com/marwilliamson Twitter] (30 Dec 2019)
 
*When our goal is for every public school in America to be a palace of learning, culture &amp; the arts - all green, of course - think how many jobs will be created building the schools, and how much wealth will ultimately be created because of the education children receive in them.
**[[Marianne Williamson]],[https://twitter.com/marwilliamson Twitter] (31 Dec 2019)

*America’s most important ally should be humanity itself. Our species will not survive another 100 years if we don’t move from a competitive to a [[cooperative]] mode of existence. “Me first” is an obsolete, unsustainable perspective.
**[[Marianne Williamson]],[https://twitter.com/marwilliamson Twitter] (8 Jan 2020)

*To put it simply, America is having a nervous breakdown. A spiritual crisis. A complete disassembling of the personality after which a more authentic self might emerge.  Yet for that transformation to occur, as a nation, we're going to have to do the work any individual must do to turn such a crisis into an opportunity. It won't be easy, and there will be truths we'll try our best to avoid. We're going to rail against our misfortune and blame other people for our suffering. But ultimately, if we're to emerge intact, we're going to have to do what anyone must do at such a time as this. We're going to have to look in the mirror...&lt;BR&gt;Over the past 40 years, as a nation, we stopped even trying to be good, to be just, to be ethical, to be merciful. Such concepts went from the elements of a moral spine to the quaint platitudes of a discarded righteousness. Who can name one domestic or international policy—backed, as policies are, by the tremendous force of American wealth and power—where the dominant political conversation had anything to do with words such as those? Our collective behavior toward children, the poor, the planet, one another and other people around the world has been and remains so devoid of any sense of moral responsibility that we have landed on a trajectory of chaos that could hardly have led us anywhere other than where we are now.
**[[Marianne Williamson]] in  [https://www.newsweek.com/marianne-williamson-americas-karma-opinion-1529724 America's Karma, ''Newsweek'',] (4 September 2020)

* The Americans have always been more open to my ideas. In fact, I could earn a living in America just by lecturing. One of my brightest audiences, incidentally, were the prisoners in a Philadelphia [[Prison|gaol]] — brighter than my students at [[university]].
** [[Colin Wilson]], interview with Paul Newman, as quoted in ''Abraxas Unbound'', #7.

* Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America, my fellow citizens, I do not say it in disparagement of any other great people. America is the only idealistic nation in the world. When I speak practical judgments about business affairs, I can only guess whether I am speaking the voice of America or not, but when I speak the ideal purposes of history I know that I am speaking the voice of America, because I have saturated myself since I was a boy in the records of that spirit, and everywhere in them there is this authentic tone of the love of justice and the service of humanity. If by any mysterious influence of error America should not take the leading part in this new enterprise of concerted power, the world would experience one of those reversals of sentiment, one of those penetrating chills of reaction, which would lead to a universal cynicism, for if America goes back upon mankind, mankind has no other place to turn. It is the hope of nations all over the world that America will do this great thing.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], address at Sioux Falls (8 September 1919), as recorded in ''Addresses of President Wilson'' (1919), p. 86; the first portion of this quote has sometimes been paraphrased: &quot;Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America is the only idealistic nation in the world.&quot;

* Republicanism did not die away. They remain to temper the scramble for private wealth and happiness and they continue to underlie for many of our ideals and aspirations: for our belief in equality and our dislike of pretension and privilege; our deep yearning for individual autonomy and freedom from all ties of dependency; our periodic hopes, expressed, for example, in the election of military heroes and in the mugwump and progressive movements, that some political leaders might rise above parties and become truly disinterested umpires and deliberative representatives; our long-held conviction that farming is morally healthier and freer of selfish marketplace concerns than other activities; our preoccupation with the fragility of the republic and its liability to corruption; and, finally, our remarkable obsession with our own national virtue-an obsession that still bewilders the rest of the world.
** Gordon S. Wood, [http://scholarship.kentlaw.iit.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2785&amp;context=cklawreview &quot;Classical Republicanism and the American Revolution&quot;] (April 1990), ''Chicago-Kent Law Review''.

==X==
[[File:Malcolm X NYWTS 3.jpg|thumb|I'm not going to sit at your table and watch you eat, with nothing on my plate, and call myself a diner. Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American. ... No, I’m not an American. I’m one of the 22 million black people who are the victims of Americanism. One of the 22 million black people who are the victims of democracy, nothing but disguised hypocrisy. ~ [[Malcolm X]]]]
* I'm not going to sit at your table and watch you eat, with nothing on my plate, and call myself a diner. Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American. ... No,  I’m not an American. I’m one of the 22 million black people who are the victims of Americanism. One of the 22 million black people who are the victims of democracy, nothing but disguised hypocrisy.
** [[Malcolm X]], [[w:The Ballot or the Bullet|Speech in Cleveland, Ohio]] (April 3, 1964).

* If this is a country of freedom, let it be a country of freedom; and if it's not a country of freedom, change it.
** [[Malcolm X]], [[w:The Ballot or the Bullet|Speech in Cleveland, Ohio]] (April 3, 1964).

* The problem facing our people here in America is bigger than all other personal or organizational differences. Therefore as leaders, we must stop worrying about the threat we seem to think we pose to each other's personal prestige.
** [[Malcolm X]], as quoted in ''Malcolm X Speaks: Selected Speeches and Statements'' (1965) by George Breitman, p. 21.
*Why is America – why does this loom to be such an explosive political year? Because this is the year of politics. This is the year when all of the white politicians are going to come into the Negro community. You never see them until election time. You can't find them until election time. They're going to come in with false promises. And as they make these false promises they're going to feed our frustrations, and this will only serve to make matters worse. I'm no politician. I'm not even a student of politics. I'm not a Republican, nor a Democrat, nor an American – and got sense enough to know it. 'm one of the 22 million black victims of the Democrats. One of the 22 million black victims of the Republicans and one of the 22 million black victims of Americanism. And when I speak, I don't speak as a Democrat or a Republican, nor an American. I speak as a victim of America's so-called democracy. You and I have never seen democracy – all we've seen is hypocrisy.
**[[Malcolm X]], &quot;[http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/blackspeech/mx.html The Ballot or the Bullet],&quot; King Solomon Baptist Church, Detroit, Michigan - April 12, 1964
*When we open our eyes today and look around America, we see America not through the eyes of someone who has enjoyed the fruits of Americanism. We see America through the eyes of someone who has been the victim of Americanism. We don't see any American dream. We've experienced only the American nightmare. We haven't benefited from America's democracy. We've only suffered from America's hypocrisy. And the generation that's coming up now can see it. And are not afraid to say it. If you go to jail, so what? If you're black, you were born in jail. If you black you were born in jail, in the North as well as the South. Stop talking about the South. As long as you south of the Canadian border, you South. Don't call [[George Wallace|Governor Wallace]] a Dixie governor, [[w:George W. Romney|Romney]] is a Dixie Governor. Twenty-two million black victims of Americanism are waking up and they are gaining a new political consciousness, becoming politically mature. And as they become – develop this political maturity, they're able to see the recent trends in these political elections. They see that the whites are so evenly divided that every time they vote, the race is so close they have to go back and count the votes all over again. Which means that any block, any minority that has a block of votes that stick together is in a strategic position. Either way you go, that's who gets it. You're in a position to determine who'll go to the White House and who'll stay in the doghouse.
**[[Malcolm X]], &quot;[http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/blackspeech/mx.html The Ballot or the Bullet],&quot; King Solomon Baptist Church, Detroit, Michigan - April 12, 1964

* Americans have a clear outlook on values and clearly demarcate between good and evil. In American movies, good usually prevails.
** [[w:Xi Jinping|Jinping Xi]], as quoted in [http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/08/us-china-usa-xi-idUSTRE8170FZ20120208 &quot;China leader-in-waiting carries heavy political baggage to U.S.&quot;] (February 8, 2012), by Chris Buckley, ''Reuters''.

==Y==
* Should hostilities once break out between [[Japan]] and the [[w:United States|United States]], it is not enough that we take Guam and the Philippines, nor even Hawaii and San Francisco. To make victory certain, we would have to march into Washington and dictate the terms of peace in the White House. I wonder if our politicians, among whom armchair arguments about war are being glibly bandied about in the name of state politics, have confidence as to the final outcome and are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices.
** [[Isoroku Yamamoto]], letter to {{w|Ryoichi Sasakawa}}, as quoted in ''At Dawn We Slept'' (1981) by Gordon W. Prange, p. 11.

* In the first six to twelve months of a war with the United States and Great Britain I will run wild and win victory upon victory. But then, if the war continues after that, I have no expectation of success.
** [[Isoroku Yamamoto]], statement to Japanese cabinet minister Shigeharu Matsumoto and Japanese prime minister {{w|Fumimaro Konoe}}, as quoted in ''Eagle Against the Sun: The American War With Japan'' (1985) by Ronald Spector.

==Z==
* The American system expanded peace and prosperity throughout the world in a way the human race had never experienced before. 
** {{w|Peter Zeihan}}, [http://nationalpost.com/news/politics/why-leaving-canada-makes-sense-for-alberta-and-u-s-would-likely-welcome-a-new-state interview with Jen Gerson] (March 2015).

* We have 500,000 reservists in America who would rise in arms against your government if you dare to make a move against Germany.
** Zimmermann to Ambassador Gerard. James W. Gerard: &quot;I told him that we had five hundred thousand and one lamp posts in America, and that was where the German reservists would find themselves if they tried any uprising.&quot; Ambassador Gerard's answer. James W. Gerard, [http://www.loc.gov/teachers/classroommaterials/presentationsandactivities/presentations/timeline/progress/wwone/loyalty.html ''My Four Years in Germany''], p. 237.

*The reason why the U.S. Government must be prosecuted for its war-crimes against Iraq is that they are so horrific and there are so many of them, and [[international law]] crumbles until they become prosecuted and severely punished for what they did. We therefore now have internationally a lawless world (or “World Order”) in which “Might makes right,” and in which there is really no effective international law, at all. This is merely gangster “law,” ruling on an international level... The seriousness of this international war crime is not as severe as those of the Nazis were, but nonetheless is comparable to it...  On 15 March 2018, Medea Benjamin and Nicolas J.S. Davies headlined at Alternet “The Staggering Death Toll in Iraq” and wrote that “our calculations, using the best information available, show a catastrophic estimate of 2.4 million Iraqi deaths since the 2003 invasion,” and linked to solid evidence, backing up their estimate.... On 6 February 2020, BusinessInsider bannered “US taxpayers have reportedly paid an average of $8,000 each and over $2 trillion total for the Iraq war alone”, and linked to the academic analysis that supported this estimate. The U.S. regime’s invasive war, which the Bush gang perpetrated against Iraq, was also a crime against the American people (though Iraqis suffered far more from it than we did).
**[https://ahtribune.com/world/north-africa-south-west-asia/iraq/4160-us-must-be-prosecuted.html Eric Zuesse, '''Why U.S. Must Be Prosecuted for Its War Crimes Against Iraq,''' ''American Herald Tribune''],  (16 May 2020)

*Bush’s successors, Obama and Trump, failed to press for Bush’s trial on these [[war crimes|vast crimes]], even though the American people had ourselves become enormously victimized by them, though far less so than Iraqis were. Instead, Bush’s successors have become accessories after the fact, by this failure to press for prosecution of him and his henchmen regarding this grave matter.  &lt;BR&gt;The actual crime, of invading and militarily occupying a country which had posed no threat to the national security of the invader, was ignored, and the conclusion was that “the situation did not appear to meet the required threshold of the Statute” (which was only “Willful killing or inhuman treatment of civilians” and which ignored the real crime, which was “aggressive war” or “the crime of aggression” — the crime for which Nazis had been hanged at Nuremberg).&lt;BR&gt; Furthermore, no charges whatsoever against the U.S. Government (the world’s most frequent and most heinous violator of international law) were considered.  In other words: [[International Criminal Court|the International Criminal Court]] is subordinate to, instead of applicable to, the U.S. regime.  Just like Adolf Hitler had repeatedly made clear that, to him, all nations except Germany were dispensable and only Germany wasn’t, Barack Obama repeatedly said that “The United States is and remains the one indispensable nation”, which likewise means that every other nation is “dispensable.” The criminal International Criminal Court accepts this, and yet expects to be respected.  
**[https://ahtribune.com/world/north-africa-south-west-asia/iraq/4160-us-must-be-prosecuted.html Eric Zuesse, '''Why U.S. Must Be Prosecuted for Its War Crimes Against Iraq,''' ''American Herald Tribune''],  (16 May 2020)

==''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations''==
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), pp. 21&amp;ndash;23.&lt;/small&gt;

* ''{{lang|la|E pluribus unum}}.''
** From many, one.
** Motto of the United States of America. First appeared on title page of Gentleman's Miscellany, Jan., 1692. Pierre Antoine (Peter Anthony Motteaux) was editor. Dr. Simetiere affixed it to the American National Seal at time of the Revolution. See Howard P. Arnold Historical Side Lights. Compare: &quot;Ex pluribus unum facere&quot;; translation: ''From many to make one''; [[St. Augustine]], ''Confessions'', Book IV. 8. 13.

* Yet, still, from either beach,&lt;br&gt;The voice of blood shall reach,&lt;br&gt;More audible than speech,&lt;br&gt;  &quot;We are one!&quot;
** [[W. Allston]], ''America to Great Britain''.

* Asylum of the oppressed of every nation.
** Phrase used in the Democratic platform of 1856, referring to the U.S.

* O, Columbia, the gem of the ocean,&lt;br&gt;  The home of the brave and the free,&lt;br&gt;The shrine of each patriot's devotion,&lt;br&gt;  A world offers homage to thee.
** An adaptation of Shaw's ''Britannia''.

* America! half brother of the world!&lt;br&gt;With something good and bad of every land.
** [[Philip James Bailey]], ''Festus'' (1813), scene ''The Surface'', line 340.

* A people who are still, as it were, but in the gristle, and not yet hardened into the bone of manhood.
** [[Edmund Burke]], speech on Conciliation with America, ''Works'', Volume II.

* Young man, there is America—which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories of savage men and uncouth manners; yet shall, before you taste of death, show itself equal to the whole of that commerce which now attracts the envy of the world.
** [[Edmund Burke]], speech on Conciliation with America, ''Works'', Volume II.

* I called the New World into existence to redress the balance of the Old.
** [[George Canning]], ''The King's Message'' (Dec. 12, 1826).

* The North! the South! the West! the East!&lt;br&gt;No one the most and none the least,&lt;br&gt;But each with its own heart and mind,&lt;br&gt;Each of its own distinctive kind,&lt;br&gt;Yet each a part and none the whole,&lt;br&gt;But all together form one soul;&lt;br&gt;That soul Our Country at its best,&lt;br&gt;No North, no South, no East, no West,&lt;br&gt;No yours, no mine, but always Ours,&lt;br&gt;Merged in one Power our lesser powers,&lt;br&gt;For no one's favor, great or small,&lt;br&gt;But all for Each and each for All.
** [[Edmund Vance Cooke]], ''Each for All'', in ''The Uncommon Commoner''.

* Columbia, Columbia, to glory arise,&lt;br&gt;The queen of the world and the child of the skies!&lt;br&gt;Thy genius commands thee; with rapture behold,&lt;br&gt;While ages on ages thy splendors unfold.
** [[Timothy Dwight]], ''Columbia''.

* Bring me men to match my mountains,&lt;br&gt;  Bring me men to match my plains,&lt;br&gt;Men with empires in their purpose,&lt;br&gt;  And new eras in their brains.
** [[Sam Walter Foss]], ''The Coming American''.

* Wake up America.
** [[Augustus P. Gardner]], speech (Oct. 16, 1916).

* The breaking waves dashed high&lt;br&gt;  On a stern and rock-bound coast;&lt;br&gt;And the woods, against a stormy sky,&lt;br&gt;  Their giant branches tost.
** [[Felicia Hemans]], ''Landing of the Pilgrim Fathers''.

* Hail, Columbia! happy land!&lt;br&gt;Hail, ye heroes! heavenborn band!&lt;br&gt;Who fought and bled in Freedom's cause.
** [[Joseph Hopkinson]], ''Hail Columbia''.

* America is a tune. It must be sung together.
** [[Gerald Stanley Lee]], ''Crowds'' (1913), Book V, Part III, Chapter XII.

* Thou, too, sail on, O Ship of State!&lt;br&gt;Sail on, O Union, strong and great!&lt;br&gt;Humanity with all its fears,&lt;br&gt;With all the hopes of future years,&lt;br&gt;Is hanging breathless on thy fate!
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''Building of the Ship'', line 367.

* Down to the Plymouth Rock, that had been to their feet as a doorstep&lt;br&gt;Into a world unknown,—the corner-stone of a nation!
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''The Courtship of Miles Standish'' (1858), Part V, Stanza 2.

* Earth's biggest Country's gut her soul&lt;br&gt;An' risen up Earth's Greatest Nation.
** [[James Russell Lowell]], ''The Biglow Papers'', Second Series. No. 7, Stanza 21.

* When asked what State he hails from,&lt;br&gt;  Our sole reply shall be,&lt;br&gt;He comes from Appomattox  And its famous apple tree.
** [[Miles O'Reilly]], poem quoted by [[Roscoe Conkling]] (June, 1880).

* Neither do I acknowledge the right of Plymouth to the whole rock. No, the rock underlies all America: it only crops out here.
** [[Wendell Phillips]], speech at the dinner of the Pilgrim Society at Plymouth (Dec. 21, 1855).

* Give it only the fulcrum of Plymouth Rock, an idea will upheave the continent.
** [[Wendell Phillips]], speech, New York (Jan. 21, 1863).

* We have room but for one Language here and that is the English Language, for we intend to see that the crucible turns our people out as Americans of American nationality and not as dwellers in a polyglot boarding-house.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]].

* My country, 'tis of thee,&lt;br&gt;Sweet land of liberty,—&lt;br&gt;  Of thee I sing:&lt;br&gt;Land where my fathers died,&lt;br&gt;Land of the Pilgrim's pride,&lt;br&gt;From every mountain side&lt;br&gt;  Let freedom ring.
** [[Samuel F. Smith]], ''America''.

* In the four quarters of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue?
** [[Sydney Smith]], ''Works'', Volume II. America (Edinburgh Review, 1820).

* Gigantic daughter of the West&lt;br&gt;We drink to thee across the flood….&lt;br&gt;For art not thou of English blood?
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Hands all Round'' (in the ''Oxford Tennyson''; Appeared in the ''Examiner'', 1862; ''The London Times'', 1880).

* So it's home again, and home again, America for me!&lt;br&gt;My heart is turning home again, and I long to be&lt;br&gt;In the land of youth and freedom beyond the ocean bars,&lt;br&gt;Where the air is full of sunshine, and the flag is full of stars.
** [[Henry Van Dyke]], ''America for Me''

* The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.
** [[Oscar Wilde]], ''A Woman of No Importance'' (1893), Act I

* Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], address, ''Unveiling of the Statue to the Memory of Commodore John Barry'', Washington (May 16, 1914).

* Just what is it that America stands for? If she stands for one thing more than another, it is for the sovereignty of self-governing people, and her example, her assistance, her encouragement, has thrilled two continents in this western world with all those fine impulses which have built up human liberty on both sides of the water. She stands, therefore, as an example of independence, as an example of free institutions, and as an example of disinterested international action in the main tenets of justice.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], speech, Pittsburgh (Jan. 29, 1916).

* We want the spirit of America to be efficient; we want American character to be efficient; we want American character to display itself in what I may, perhaps, be allowed to call spiritual efficiency—clear, disinterested thinking and fearless action along the right lines of thought. America is not anything if it consists of each of us. It is something only if it consists of all of us; and it can consist of all of us only as our spirits are banded together in a common enterprise. That common enterprise is the enterprise of liberty and justice and right. And, therefore, I, for my part, have a great enthusiasm for rendering America spiritually efficient; and that conception lies at the basis of what seems very far removed from it, namely, the plans that have been proposed for the military efficiency of this nation.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]], speech, Pittsburgh (Jan. 29, 1916).

* Home from the lonely cities, time's wreck, and the naked woe,&lt;br&gt;Home through the clean great waters where freemen's pennants blow,&lt;br&gt;Home to the land men dream of, where all the nations go.
** [[George E. Woodberry]], ''Homeward Bound''

* We must consult Brother Jonathan.
** [[George Washington]]'s familiar reference to his secretary and Aide-de-camp, Col. Jonathan Trumbull; the phrase, {{w|Brother Jonathan}}, later came to mean the American people, collectively.

== See also ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-3}}
* [[Achievement gaps in the United States]]
* [[American benevolence]]
* [[American Civil War]]
* [[American Dream]]
* [[American exceptionalism]]
* [[American literature]]
* [[American middle class]]
* [[American imperialism]]
* [[Immigration to the United States]]
* [[American Revolution|American Revolutionary War]]
* [[Anti-Americanism]]
* [[Articles of Confederation]]
*[[W:Corruption in the United States|Corruption in the United States]]
* [[Children and adolescents in the United States]]
* [[Crimes against humanity|Crimes against Humanity]]
* [[Death to America]]
* [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic Party]]
* [[Economy of the United States]]
* [[Education in the United States]]
{{col-3}}
* [[Federal government of the United States]]
* [[Founding Fathers of the United States]]
* [[Foreign policy of the United States|Foreign policy of the United States]]
* [[Hunger in the United States]]
* [[History of the United States]]
* [[Incarceration in the United States]]
* [[International Criminal Court]]
* [[Law enforcement in the United States]]
* [[W:Lobbying in the United States|Lobbying in the United States]]
* [[W:Military budget of the United States|Military budget of the United States]]
* [[Opioid epidemic in the United States]]
* [[Politics of the United States]]
* [[Post-racial America]]
* [[Poverty in the United States]]
* [[President of the United States]]
* [[Racism in the United States]]
* [[Religion in the United States]]
* [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]
* [[Residential segregation in the United States]]
{{col-3}}
* [[Separation of church and state in the United States]]
* [[Slavery in the United States]]
* [[Social programs in the United States]]
* [[Socioeconomic mobility in the United States]]
* [[Union (United States)|Union]]
* [[United States Armed Forces]]
* [[United States Congress]]
* [[United States Constitution]]
* [[United States Declaration of Independence]]
* [[United States Department of Agriculture]]
* [[United States embargo against Cuba]]
* [[United States sanctions|United States embargoes and economic sanctions against foreign countries]]
* [[United States Secretary of State]]
* [[United States Supreme Court]]
* [[War crimes]]
* [[Washington, D.C.]]
* [[Working class in the United States]]
{{col-end}}


* [[:Category:States of the United States|States of the United States]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{commons}}
{{wikiversity}}
{{Wiktionary}}
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{{Wikivoyage|United States of America}}
*{{Official website|https://www.usa.gov/}}

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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by Kalki</comment>
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      <text bytes="538875" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-77 matte collodion print.jpg|thumb|Let us have [[faith]] that [[Righteousness|right]] makes [[might]], and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our [[duty]] as we [[understand]] it.]]
'''[[w:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]]''' ([[February 12|12 February]] [[1809]] &amp;ndash; [[April 15|15 April]] [[1865]]) was the [[w:List of presidents of the United States|16th president of the United States]], serving from March 1861 until [[Assassination of Abraham Lincoln|his assassination in April 1865]]. Initially entering politics as a [[w:Whig Party (United States)|Whig]], he became a member of the US congress from Illinois, and later the first [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] president, leading [[Union (United States)|Union]] forces throughout the moral, constitutional, political and military crises of the [[American Civil War]], during which he abolished [[slavery]] and strengthened the U.S. government.
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-116 by Gardner, 1865.png|thumb|With [[malice]] toward none, with [[charity]] for [[all]]; with firmness in the right, as [[God]] gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the [[work]] we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan — to do all which may achieve and cherish a just, and a lasting [[peace]], among ourselves, and with all [[nations]].]]

== Quotes ==
[[File:Eastman Johnson, The boyhood of Lincoln, an evening in the log hut, 1868.jpg|thumb|Upon the subject of [[education]], not presuming to dictate any plan or [[system]] respecting it, I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people can be engaged in.]]&lt;!-- 9 March 1832 --&gt;
[[File:MaryToddLincoln.jpg|thumb|I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.]]&lt;!-- 1 April 1838 --&gt;
[[File:1858 Abraham Lincoln portrait from campaign button.png|thumb|The probability that we may fall in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just; it shall not deter me.]]&lt;!-- 1839 --&gt;
[[File:Boeing AH-64 Apache helicopter with rainbow around Oahu, Hawaii.jpg|thumb|Military glory, — that attractive rainbow that rises in showers of blood.''']]&lt;!-- 12 January 1848) --&gt;
[[File:Abelincoln1846.jpeg|thumb|Allow the President to invade a neighboring [[nation]] whenever he shall deem it necessary... and you allow him to make [[war]] at pleasure.]]&lt;!-- 15 February 1848 --&gt;
[[File:United States penny, obverse, 2002.png|thumb|The true rule, in determining to embrace, or reject any thing, is not whether it have any [[evil]] in it; but whether it have more of evil, than of good.]]&lt;!-- 20 June 1848 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln - Better Vision Institute ad, 1948.jpg|thumb|Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.]]&lt;!-- 20 June 1848 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln circa 1860.png |thumb|The better part of one's life consists of his [[friendships]].]]&lt;!-- 13 July 1849 --&gt;
[[File:SH Lincoln Mem 6-12-14 391.jpg|thumb|Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing.]]&lt;!-- 5 November 1855 --&gt;
[[File:Thomas Hicks - Leopold Grozelier - Presidential Candidate Abraham Lincoln 1860.jpg|thumb|We live in the midst of alarms; anxiety beclouds the future; we expect some new disaster with each newspaper we read.]]&lt;!-- 29 May 1856 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham_Lincoln_O-36_by_Butler,_1860-crop.jpg|thumb|Those who deny [[freedom]] to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just [[God]], can not long retain it.]]&lt;!-- 1859 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by George Clark, 1860 campaign ambrotype.jpg|thumb|Understanding the spirit of our institutions to aim at the elevation of men, I am opposed to whatever tends to degrade them.]]&lt;!-- 17 May 1859 --&gt;
[[File:Lincoln-heslerlg.jpg|thumb| Free labor has the inspiration of hope; pure slavery has no hope.]]&lt;!-- 17 September 1859? --&gt;
[[File:Scene_at_the_Signing_of_the_Constitution_of_the_United_States.jpg |thumb|Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties. And not to Democrats alone do I make this appeal, but to all who love these great and true principles.]]&lt;!-- (27 August 1856) --&gt;
[[File:Supreme Court of the United States - Philosophical Swag.jpg|thumb|The people of these United States are the rightful masters of both Congresses and courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.]]
[[File:Jacek Malczewski - Na etapie (Aresztanci).jpg|thumb|400px|The Autocrat of all the Russias will resign his crown, and proclaim his subjects free republicans sooner than will our American masters voluntarily give up their slaves.]]
[[File:1660 blk 19329 zoom.png|thumb|Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, expenses, and waste of time.]]&lt;!-- 1 July 1850? --&gt;
[[File:Collier's 1921 Lincoln Abraham - cabinet meeting.jpg |thumb|The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but can not do, at all, or can not, so well do, for themselves — in their separate, and individual capacities. In all that the people can individually do as well for themselves, government ought not to interfere.]]&lt;!-- 1 July 1854? --&gt;
[[File:Jean Leon Gerome Ferris - The Railsplitter (1909).png |thumb|Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere.]]&lt;!-- 11 September 1858 --&gt;
[[File:SlavesForSaleNewOrleans1861.jpeg|thumb|You mean the whites are intellectually the superiors of the blacks, and, therefore have the right to enslave them? Take care again. By this rule, you are to be slave to the first man you meet, with an intellect superior to your own.]]&lt;!-- 1 April 1854? --&gt;
[[File:Lincoln O-5 by Byers, 1858.png|thumb|I believe each individual is naturally entitled to do as he pleases with himself and the fruit of his labor, so far as it in no wise interferes with any other man's rights.]]&lt;!-- 10 July 1858 --&gt;

=== 1820s ===

* Abraham Lincoln &lt;br /&gt; his hand and pen &lt;br /&gt; he will be good but &lt;br /&gt; god knows When
** [http://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/prespoetry/al.html#1 Manuscript poem, as a teenager (ca. 1824–1826)], in [http://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/prespoetry/al.html &quot;Lincoln as Poet&quot; at ''Library of Congress : Presidents as Poets''] also in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) edited by Roy. P. Basler, Vol. 1

* Abraham Lincoln is my name &lt;br /&gt; And with my pen I wrote the same &lt;br /&gt; I wrote in both hast and speed &lt;br /&gt; and left it here for fools to read
** Manuscript poem, as a teenager (ca. 1824–1826), in [http://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/prespoetry/al.html &quot;Lincoln as Poet&quot; at ''Library of Congress : Presidents as Poets''], as published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) edited by Roy. P. Basler, Vol. 1

=== 1830s ===
* '''Upon the subject of [[Education in the United States|education]], not presuming to dictate any plan or system respecting it, I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people can be engaged in.''' That every man may receive at least a moderate education, and thereby be enabled to read the histories of his own and other countries, by which he may duly appreciate the value of our free institutions, appears to be an object of vital importance, even on this account alone, to say nothing of the advantages and satisfaction to be derived from all being able to read the [[The Bible|Scriptures]], and other works both of a religious and moral nature, for themselves.
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/The_Improvement_of_Sangamon_River#6|Address Delivered in Candidacy for the State Legislature]] (9 March 1832)

* '''Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition. Whether it be true or not, I can say, for one, that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow-men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.'''
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/The_Improvement_of_Sangamon_River#6|Address Delivered in Candidacy for the State Legislature]] (9 March 1832)

* '''These [[Capitalism|capitalists]] generally act harmoniously and in concert to fleece the people, and now that they have got into a quarrel with themselves, we are called upon to appropriate the people's money to settle the quarrel.'''
** Speech to Illinois legislature (January 1837); This is &quot;Lincoln's First Reported Speech&quot;, found in the ''Sangamo Journal'' (28 January 1837) according to ''McClure's Magazine'' (March 1896); also in ''Lincoln's Complete Works'' (1905) ed. by [[w:John George Nicolay|Nicolay]] and Hay, Vol. 1, p. 24

*I am mighty near one.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=oERgfRqL2vUC&amp;pg=PA124&amp;dq=mighty When asked if he was an abolitionist (1837)]

* Whatever Spiteful fools may Say — &lt;br /&gt; Each jealous, ranting yelper — &lt;br /&gt; No woman ever played the whore &lt;br /&gt; Unless She had a man to help her.
** A stanza of Lincoln's [http://lincoln.lib.niu.edu/islandora/object/niu-lincoln%3A35129 &quot;On Seduction&quot; (1837-39) as conveyed by James H. Matheny (1865 or 1866)]

* I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason; '''I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln1/1:134?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Letter to Mrs. Orville H. Browning (1 April 1838)], Collected Works, vol. 1. p. 119

* Broken by it, I, too, may be; bow to it I never will. '''The probability that we may fall in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just; it shall not deter me.''' If ever I feel the soul within me elevate and expand to those dimensions not wholly unworthy of its Almighty Architect, it is when I contemplate the cause of my country, deserted by all the world beside, and I standing up boldly and alone and hurling defiance at her victorious oppressors. Here, without contemplating consequences, before High Heaven, and in the face of the world, I swear eternal fidelity to the just cause, as I deem it, of the land of my life, my liberty and my love. And who, that thinks with me, will not fearlessly adopt the oath that I take? '''Let none falter, who thinks he is right, and we may succeed. But, if after all, we shall fail, be it so. We still shall have the proud consolation of saying to our consciences, and to the departed shade of our country's freedom, that the cause approved of our judgment, and adored of our hearts, in disaster, in chains, in torture, in death, we NEVER faltered in defending.'''
** Speech of the Sub-Treasury (1839), ''Collected Works'' [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;view=text;idno=lincoln1;rgn=div1;node=lincoln1:193 1:178-9]
** Variant (misspelling): The probability that we may ''fail'' in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just; ''and'' it shall not deter me.

====Illinois House Journal (1837)====
:&lt;small&gt;Protest entered, pages 817-818 of the House Journal, March 3, by Lincoln with Dan Stone, another representative of Sangomon, briefly defined his position on the slavery question. According to his autobiography, written June, 1860, and following his nomination for President, &quot;...his position on the slavery question ...so far as it goes, it was then the same that it is now.&quot; Quoted from ''A Short Autobiography, Written in June 1860, at the Request of a Friend to use in preparing a Popular Campaign Biography at the Election of that Year'', in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ISg9AAAAYAAJ The Autobiography of Abraham Lincoln]'' (1905) pp. 19-21.&lt;/small&gt;

* Resolutions upon the subject of domestic slavery having passed both branches of the [[w:Illinois General Assembly|General Assembly]] at its present session, the undersigned hereby protest against the passage of the same.

* They believe that the institution of slavery is founded on both injustice and bad policy, but that the promulgation of Abolition doctrines tends rather to increase than abate its evils.

* They believe that the [[United States Congress|Congress of the United States]] has no power under the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] to interfere with the institution of slavery in the different States.

==== [[w:Abraham Lincoln's Lyceum address|The Lyceum Address]] (1838) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[[s:The Lyceum Address|The Perpetuation of Our Political Institutions : Lincoln's address to the Young Men's Lyceum of Springfield, Illinois]] (27 January 1838)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Abraham lincoln by george grey barnard cincinnati 2006.jpg |thumb|If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.]]
[[File:Americana 1920 Lincoln Abraham.jpg |thumb|Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well-wisher to his posterity swear by the blood of the Revolution never to violate in the least particular the laws of the country, and never to tolerate their violation by others.]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln at Home 1865.jpg |thumb|Let every man remember that to violate the law is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the charter of his own and his children's liberty. Let reverence for the laws be breathed by every American mother to the lisping babe...]]
[[File:Captain Abraham Lincoln1.jpg|thumb|There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.]]
[[File:The Library of Congress - (Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President. Seated portrait, holding glasses and newspaper, Aug. 9, 1863) (LOC).jpg|thumb|Passion has helped us; but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason, must furnish all the materials for our future support and defence.]]

* We find ourselves under the government of a system of political institutions, conducing more essentially to the ends of civil and [[Freedom of religion|religious liberty]], than any of which the history of former times tells us. We, when mounting the stage of existence, found ourselves the legal inheritors of these fundamental blessings. We toiled not in the acquirement or establishment of them; they are a legacy bequeathed us by a once hardy, brave, and patriotic, but now lamented and departed, race of ancestors. Theirs was the task (and nobly they performed it) to possess themselves, and through themselves us, of this goodly land, and to uprear upon its hills and its valleys '''a political edifice of liberty and equal rights'''; 'tis ours only '''to transmit these — the former unprofaned by the foot of an invader, the latter undecayed by the lapse of time and untorn by usurpation — to the latest generation''' that fate shall permit the world to know. '''This task gratitude to our fathers, justice to ourselves, duty to posterity, and love for our species in general, all imperatively require us faithfully to perform.'''

* At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? — Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! — All the armies of [[Europe]], [[Asia]] and [[Africa]] combined, with all the [[Wealth|treasure]] of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the [[w:Ohio River|Ohio]], or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. &lt;br /&gt; '''At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.'''

* I hope I am over wary; but if I am not, there is, even now, something of ill-omen, amongst us. I mean the increasing disregard for law which pervades the country; the growing disposition to substitute the wild and furious passions, in lieu of the sober judgment of [[Courts]]; and the worse than savage [[Mob|mobs]], for the executive ministers of justice. This disposition is awfully fearful in any and that it now exists in ours, though grating to our feelings to admit, it would be a violation of truth and an insult to our intelligence to deny.

* Accounts of outrages committed by mobs form the every-day news of the times. They have pervaded the country from [[New England]] to [[w:Louisiana|Louisiana]], they are neither peculiar to the eternal snows of the former nor the burning suns of the latter; they are not the creature of climate, neither are they confined to the slaveholding or the non-slaveholding States. Alike they spring up among the pleasure-hunting masters of Southern slaves, and the order-loving citizens of the land of steady habits. Whatever then their cause may be, it is common to the whole country. [...] Such are the effects of mob law, and such are the scenes becoming more and more frequent in this land so lately famed for love of law and order, and the stories of which have even now grown too familiar to attract anything more than an idle remark. But you are perhaps ready to ask, &quot;What has this to do with the perpetuation of our political institutions?&quot; I answer, &quot;It has much to do with it.&quot; Its direct consequences are, comparatively speaking, but a small evil, and much of its danger consists in the proneness of our minds to regard its direct as its only consequences.

* When men take it in their heads to-day, to hang [[Gambling|gamblers]], or burn murderers, they should recollect, that, in the confusion usually attending such transactions, they will be as likely to hang or burn some one who is neither a gambler nor a murderer as one who is; and that, acting upon the example they set, the mob of to-morrow, may, and probably will, hang or burn some of them by the very same mistake. And not only so; the innocent, those who have ever set their faces against violations of law in every shape, alike with the guilty, fall victims to the ravages of mob law; and thus it goes on, step by step, till all the walls erected for the defense of the persons and property of individuals, are trodden down, and disregarded.

* But all this even, is not the full extent of the evil. — By such examples, by instances of the perpetrators of such acts going unpunished, the lawless in spirit, are encouraged to become lawless in practice; and having been used to no restraint, but dread of punishment, they thus become, absolutely unrestrained. — Having ever regarded Government as their deadliest bane, they make a jubilee of the suspension of its operations; and pray for nothing so much, as its total annihilation. While, on the other hand, good men, men who love tranquillity, who desire to abide by the laws and enjoy their benefits, who would gladly spill their blood in the defense of their country, seeing their property destroyed, their families insulted, and their lives endangered, their persons injured, and seeing nothing in prospect that forebodes a change for the better, become tired of and disgusted with a government that offers them no protection, and are not much averse to a change in which they imagine they have nothing to lose. Thus, then, '''by the operation of''' this '''mobocratic spirit''' which all must admit is now abroad in the land, '''the strongest bulwark of any government''', and particularly of those constituted like ours, '''may effectually be broken down and destroyed — I mean the attachment of the People.'''

* Whenever this effect shall be produced among us; '''whenever the vicious portion of [our] population shall be permitted to gather in bands of hundreds and thousands, and burn churches, ravage and rob provision stores, throw printing-presses into rivers, shoot editors, and hang and burn obnoxious persons at pleasure and with impunity''', depend upon it, '''this government cannot last. By such things the feelings of the best citizens will become more or less alienated from it, and thus it will be left without friends, or with too few, and those few too weak to make their friendship effectual.''' At such a time, and under such circumstances, men of sufficient talent and ambition will not be wanting to seize the opportunity, strike the blow, and overturn that fair fabric which for the last half century has been the fondest hope of the lovers of freedom throughout the world.

* '''Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well-wisher to his posterity swear by the blood of the [[American Revolution|Revolution]] never to violate in the least particular the laws of the country, and never to tolerate their violation by others.''' As the patriots of seventy-six did to the support of the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]], so '''to the support of the Constitution and laws let every American pledge his life, his property, and his sacred honor — let every man remember that to violate the law is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the charter of his own and his children's liberty. Let reverence for the laws be breathed by every American mother to the lisping babe that prattles on her lap; let it be taught in schools, in seminaries, and in colleges; let it be written in primers, spelling-books, and in almanacs; let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And, in short, let it become the political religion of the nation; and let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay of all sexes and tongues and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly upon its altars. While ever a state of feeling such as this shall universally or even very generally prevail throughout the nation, vain will be every effort, and fruitless every attempt, to subvert our national freedom.'''

* '''When I so pressingly urge a strict observance of all the laws, let me not be understood as saying there are no bad laws, or that grievances may not arise for the redress of which no legal provisions have been made. I mean to say no such thing. But I do mean to say that although bad laws, if they exist, should be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed.''' So also in unprovided cases. If such arise, let proper legal provisions be made for them with the least possible delay, but till then let them, if not too intolerable, be borne with.

* '''There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. In any case that arises''', as for instance, the promulgation of abolitionism, '''one of two positions is necessarily true'''; that is, '''the thing is right within itself, and therefore deserves the protection of all law and all good citizens; or, it is wrong, and therefore proper to be prohibited by legal enactments; and in neither case, is the interposition of mob law, either necessary, justifiable, or excusable.'''

* '''We hope all danger may be overcome; but to conclude that no danger may ever arise would itself be extremely dangerous.'''

* That our government should have been maintained in its original form from its establishment until now, is not much to be wondered at. It had many props to support it through that period, which now are decayed, and crumbled away. Through that period, it was felt by all, to be an undecided experiment; now, it is understood to be a successful one.

* '''It is to deny, what the history of the world tells us is true, to suppose that men of ambition and talents will not continue to spring up amongst us. And, when they do, they will as naturally seek the gratification of their ruling passion, as others have so done before them.''' The question then, is, can that gratification be found in supporting and maintaining an edifice that has been erected by others? Most certainly it cannot. Many great and good men sufficiently qualified for any task they should undertake, may ever be found, whose ambition would inspire to nothing beyond a seat in Congress, a gubernatorial or a presidential chair; ''but such belong not to the family of the lion, or the tribe of the eagle.'' What! think you these places would satisfy an [[Alexander the Great|Alexander]], a [[Julius Caesar|Caesar]], or a [[Napoleon I of France|Napoleon]]? — Never! '''Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored. — It sees ''no distinction'' in adding story to story, upon the monuments of fame, erected to the memory of others. It ''denies'' that it is glory enough to serve under any chief. It ''scorns'' to tread in the footsteps of ''any'' predecessor, however illustrious. It thirsts and burns for distinction'''; and, if possible, it will have it, whether at the expense of emancipating slaves, or enslaving freemen. '''Is it unreasonable then to expect, that some man possessed of the loftiest genius, coupled with ambition sufficient to push it to its utmost stretch, will at some time, spring up among us? And when such a one does, it will require the people to be united with each other, attached to the government and laws, and generally intelligent, to successfully frustrate his designs. Distinction will be his paramount object, and although he would as willingly, perhaps more so, acquire it by doing good as harm, yet, that opportunity being past, and nothing left to be done in the way of building up, he would set boldly to the task of pulling down. '''
** Often the portion of this passage on &quot;Towering genius...&quot; is quoted without any mention or acknowledgment that Lincoln was speaking of the need to sometimes hold the ambitions of such genius in check, when individuals aim at their own personal aggrandizement rather than the common good.

* I mean the powerful influence which the interesting scenes of the Revolution had upon the passions of the people as distinguished from their judgment. By this influence, the jealousy, envy, and avarice incident to our nature and so common to a state of peace, prosperity, and conscious strength, were for the time in a great measure smothered and rendered inactive, while the deep-rooted principles of hate, and the powerful motive of revenge, instead of being turned against each other, were directed exclusively against the British nation. And thus, '''from the force of circumstances, the basest principles of our nature, were either made to lie dormant, or to become the active agents in the advancement of the noblest cause — that of establishing and maintaining civil and religious liberty. But this state of feeling ''must fade, is fading, has faded'', with the circumstances that produced it.''' I do not mean to say that the scenes of the Revolution are now or ever will be entirely forgotten, but that, like everything else, they must fade upon the memory of the world, and grow more and more dim by the lapse of time. In history, we hope, they will be read of, and recounted, so long as the Bible shall be read; but even granting that they will, their influence cannot be what it heretofore has been. Even then they cannot be so universally known nor so vividly felt as they were by the generation just gone to rest. At the close of that struggle, nearly every adult male had been a participator in some of its scenes. The consequence was that of those scenes, in the form of a husband, a father, a son, or a brother, a living history was to be found in every family — a history bearing the indubitable testimonies of its own authenticity, in the limbs mangled, in the scars of wounds received, in the midst of the very scenes related — a history, too, that could be read and understood alike by all, the wise and the ignorant, the learned and the unlearned. But '''those histories are gone. They can be read no more forever. They were a fortress of strength; but what invading foeman could never do, the silent artillery of time has done — the leveling of its walls. They are gone. They were a forest of giant oaks; but the all-restless hurricane has swept over them, and left only here and there a lonely trunk, despoiled of its verdure, shorn of its foliage, unshading and unshaded, to murmur in a few more gentle breezes, and to combat with its mutilated limbs a few more ruder storms, then to sink and be no more. They were pillars of the temple of liberty; and now that they have crumbled away that temple must fall unless we, their descendants, supply their places with other pillars, hewn from the solid quarry of sober reason.'''

* '''Passion has helped us; but can do so no more. It will in future be our enemy. Reason, cold, calculating, unimpassioned reason, must furnish all the materials for our future support and defence. — Let those materials be moulded into ''general intelligence, sound morality'', and in particular, ''a reverence for the constitution and laws''''': and, that we improved to the last; that we remained free to the last; that we revered his name to the last; that, during his long sleep, we permitted no hostile foot to pass over or desecrate his resting place; shall be that which to learn the last trump shall awaken our [[George Washington|WASHINGTON]]. &lt;br /&gt; Upon these let the proud fabric of freedom rest, as the rock of its basis; and as truly as has been said of the only greater institution, &quot;''the gates of [[hell]] shall not prevail against it''&quot;.

=== 1840s ===
* I am now the most miserable man living. '''If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth.''' Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me.
** Letter to John T. Stuart (23 January 1841), ''Collected Works'' [http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;rgn=div1;view=text;idno=lincoln1;node=lincoln1%3A248 1:229-30]

*... none seemed to think the injury arose from the ''use'' of a ''bad thing'', but from the ''abuse'' of a ''very good thing''.  
** Address to the Springfield Washingtonian Temperance Society (22 February 1842). Frequently misquoted as &quot;It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing.&quot; [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/temperance.htm]

* I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
** Address to the Springfield Washingtonian Temperance Society (22 February 1842), quoted at greater length in John Carroll Power (1889) ''Abraham Lincoln: His Life, Public Services, Death and Funeral Cortege''

* For several years past the revenues of the government have been unequal to its expenditures, and consequently loan after loan, sometimes direct and sometimes indirect in form, has been resorted to. By this means a new [[Government debt|national debt]] has been created, and is still growing on us with a rapidity fearful to contemplate — a rapidity only reasonably to be expected in a time of war. This state of things has been produced by a prevailing unwillingness either to increase the tariff or resort to direct taxation. But the one or the other must come. Coming expenditures must be met, and the present debt must be paid; and money cannot always be borrowed for these objects. The system of loans is but temporary in its nature, and must soon explode. It is a system not only ruinous while it lasts, but one that must soon fail and leave us destitute. As an individual who undertakes to live by borrowing soon finds his original means devoured by interest, and, next, no one left to borrow from, so must it be with a government. We repeat, then, that a tariff sufficient for revenue, or a direct tax, must soon be resorted to; and, indeed, we believe this alternative is now denied by no one.
** Whig Circular (1843), reported in Richard Watson Gilder and Daniel Fish ''Complete Works of Abraham Lincoln, Volume 1'' (1905)

* Believing that these propositions, and the [conclusions] I draw from them can not be successfully controverted, I, for the present, assume their correctness, and proceed to try to show, that '''the abandonment of the protective policy by the American Government, must result in the increase of both useless labour, and idleness; and so, in pro[por]tion, must produce want and ruin among our people.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln1/1:423?rgn=div1;view=fulltext &quot;Fragments of a Tariff Discussion&quot;, ''Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', Vol. 1, p. 415]; according to the source Lincoln's &quot;scraps about protection were written by Lincoln, between his election to Congress in 1846, and taking his seat in Dec. 1847&quot;.

* It has so happened in all ages of the world, that some have laboured, and others have, without labour, enjoyed a large proportion of the fruits. This is wrong, and should not continue. To each labourer the whole product of his labour, or as nearly as possible, is a most worthy object of any good government.
** The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume I, &quot;Fragments of a Tariff Discussion&quot; (1 December 1847)

* I believe it is an established maxim in morals that '''he who makes an assertion without knowing whether it is true or false, is guilty of falsehood; and the accidental truth of the assertion, does not justify or excuse him.'''
** Letter to Allen N. Ford (11 August 1846), reported in Roy Prentice Basler, ed., ''Abraham Lincoln: His Speeches and Writings'' (1990 [1946])

* '''Any people anywhere being inclined and having the power have the right to rise up and shake off the existing government, and form a new one that suits them better.''' This is a most valuable, a most sacred right — a right which we hope and believe is to liberate the world. Nor is this right confined to cases in which the whole people of an existing government may choose to exercise it. Any portion of such people that can may revolutionize and make their own of so much of the territory as they inhabit. 
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/Arraignment_of_President_Polk_for_War_Against_Mexico#128|Speech in the United States House of Representatives]] (12 January 1848)

* Military glory, — that attractive rainbow that rises in showers of blood.
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/Arraignment_of_President_Polk_for_War_Against_Mexico#129|Speech]] in the [[w:United States House of Representatives|United States House of Representatives]] opposing the [[w:Mexican–American War|Mexican war]] ([http://books.google.com/books?id=wiuRyJK6OocC&amp;pg=PA106&amp;dq=rainbow 12 January 1848])

* '''Allow the [[President of the United States|President]] to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an [[w:Invasion|invasion]], and you allow him to do so, whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow him to make war at pleasure.''' Study to see if you can fix any limit to his power in this respect, after having given him so much as you propose. If, to-day, he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade [[Canada]], to prevent the [[British Empire|British]] from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, &quot;I see no probability of the British invading us&quot; but he will say to you, &quot;Be silent; I see it, if you don't.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; '''The provision of the Constitution giving the war making power to Congress was dictated, as I understand it, by the following reasons. Kings had always been involving and impoverishing their people in wars, pretending generally, if not always, that the good of the people was the object. This, our [[Constitutional Convention (United States)|Convention]] understood to be the most oppressive of all Kingly oppressions; and they resolved to so frame the Constitution that no one man should hold the power of bringing this oppression upon us.''' But your view destroys the whole matter, and places our President where kings have always stood.
** Letter, while US Congressman, to his friend and law-partner [[w:William Herndon (lawyer)|William H. Herndon]], opposing the [[w:Mexican-American War|Mexican-American War]] (15 February 1848)

* In law it is a good policy never to plead what you need not, lest you oblige yourself to prove what you cannot.
** Letter to former Illinois Attorney General [[w:Usher F. Linder|Usher F. Linder]] (20 February 1848)

* '''The true rule, in determining to embrace, or reject any thing, is not whether it have any evil in it; but whether it have more of evil, than of good.''' There are few things wholly evil, or wholly good. Almost every thing, especially of governmental policy, is an inseparable compound of the two; so that our best judgment of the preponderance between them is continually demanded.
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/In_Favor_of_Internal_Improvements#145|Speech in the House of Representatives]] (20 June 1848)

* '''Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.'''
** [[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_3/In_Favor_of_Internal_Improvements#153|Speech in the House of Representatives]] (20 June 1848)

* The way for a young man to rise, is to improve himself every way he can, never suspecting that any body wishes to hinder him.
** Letter to William H Herndon (10 July 1848)

* '''The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:88.1?rgn=div2;view=fulltext Letter to Joseph Gillespie] (13 July 1849)

==== My Childhood's Home I See Again (1844 - 1846) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[https://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poems/my-childhoods-home-i-see-again &quot;My Childhood's Home I See Again&quot; as written in letters to Andrew Johnston (24 February, 18 April 18, and 26 September 1846)]; Lincoln wrote in the first letter: &quot;In the fall of 1844, thinking I might aid some to carry the State of Indiana for [[Henry Clay|Mr. Clay]], I went into the neighborhood in that State in which I was raised, where my mother and only sister were buried, and from which I had been absent about fifteen years. That part of the country is, within itself, as unpoetical as any spot of the earth; but still, seeing it and its objects and inhabitants aroused feelings in me which were certainly poetry; though whether my expression of those feelings is poetry is quite another question. When I got to writing, the change of subjects divided the thing into four little divisions or cantos, the first only of which I send you now and may send the others hereafter.&quot; In a letter of 6 September Lincoln stated: &quot;The subject of the present one [canto] is an insane man. His name is Matthew Gentry. He is three years older than I, and when we were boys we went to school together. He was rather a bright lad, and the son of ''the'' rich man of our very poor neighbourhood. At the age of nineteen he unaccountably became furiously mad, from which condition he gradually settled down into harmless insanity.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''My [[childhood]]'s [[home]] I see again, &lt;br /&gt;  And sadden with the view; &lt;br /&gt; And still, as memory crowds my brain, &lt;br /&gt; There's pleasure in it too.'''
** Canto I

* '''As leaving some grand waterfall, &lt;br /&gt; We, lingering, list its roar — &lt;br /&gt; So memory will hallow all &lt;br /&gt; We've known, but know no more.'''
** Canto I

* I range the fields with pensive tread, &lt;br /&gt; And pace the hollow rooms; &lt;br /&gt; And feel (companion of the dead) &lt;br /&gt; I'm living in the tombs.
** Canto I

* &lt;p&gt;But here's an object more of dread &lt;br /&gt; Than ought the grave contains — &lt;br /&gt; A human form with reason fled, &lt;br /&gt; While wretched life remains.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Poor Matthew! Once of genius bright, &lt;br /&gt; A fortune-favored child — &lt;br /&gt; Now locked for aye, in mental night, &lt;br /&gt; A haggard mad-man wild.&lt;/p&gt;
** Canto II

* &lt;p&gt;But this is past; and nought remains, &lt;br /&gt; That raised thee o'er the brute. &lt;br /&gt; Thy piercing shrieks, and soothing strains, &lt;br /&gt; Are like, forever mute.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; Now fare thee well — more thou the cause, &lt;br /&gt; Than subject now of woe. &lt;br /&gt; All mental pangs, by time's kind laws, &lt;br /&gt; Hast lost the power to know.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; O death! Thou awe-inspiring prince, &lt;br /&gt; That keepst the world in fear; &lt;br /&gt; Why dost thou tear more blest ones hence, &lt;br /&gt; And leave him ling'ring here?&lt;/p&gt;
** Canto II

=== 1850s ===
* The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence. '''Leave nothing for to-morrow which can be done to-day. Never let your correspondence fall behind.''' Whatever piece of business you have in hand, before stopping, do all the labor pertaining to it which can then be done.
** Fragment, Notes for a Law Lecture (1 July 1850), cited in ''Abraham Lincoln: Complete Works, Comprising his Speeches, Letters, State Papers, and Miscellaneous Writings'', Vol. 2 (1894)

* '''Discourage [[Lawsuit|litigation]]. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, expenses, and waste of time.''' As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough. &lt;br /&gt; Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the [[w:Recorder of deeds|register of deeds]] in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strife, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone ought to be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.
** Fragment, Notes for a Law Lecture (1 July 1850?), cited in ''Abraham Lincoln: Complete Works, Comprising his Speeches, Letters, State Papers, and Miscellaneous Writings'', Vol. 2 (1894)

* There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. Yet the impression is common, almost universal. Let no young man choosing the law for a calling for a moment yield to the popular belief — '''resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer.''' Choose some other occupation, rather than one in the choosing of which you do, in advance, consent to be a knave.
** Fragment, Notes for a Law Lecture (1 July 1850), cited in ''Abraham Lincoln: Complete Works, Comprising his Speeches, Letters, State Papers, and Miscellaneous Writings'', Vol. 2 (1894)

*If A. can prove, however conclusively, that he may, of right, enslave B. Why may not B. snatch the same argument, and prove equally, that he may enslave A? '''You say A. is white, and B. is black. It is color, then; the lighter, having the right to enslave the darker? Take care. By this rule, you are to be slave to the first man you meet, with a fairer skin than your own. You do not mean color exactly? You mean the whites are intellectually the superiors of the blacks, and, therefore have the right to enslave them? Take care again. By this rule, you are to be slave to the first man you meet, with an intellect superior to your own.''' But, say you, it is a question of interest; and, if you can make it your interest, you have the right to enslave another. Very well. And if he can make it his interest, he has the right to enslave you.
**Fragment on slavery (1 April 1854?), as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20140203223031/http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:264?rgn=div1;view=fulltext ''Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln''] (1953), Vol. 2, pp. 222-223

* '''The legitimate object of government, is to do for a community of people, whatever they need to have done, but can not do, ''at all'', or can not, ''so well do'', for themselves - in their separate, and individual capacities. In all that the people can individually do as well for themselves, government ought not to interfere.''' The desirable things which the individuals of a people can not do, or can not well do, for themselves, fall into two classes: those which have relation to ''wrongs'', and those which have not. Each of these branch off into an infinite variety of subdivisions. The first - that in relation to wrongs - embraces all crimes, misdemeanors, and nonperformance of contracts. The other embraces all which, in its nature, and without wrong, requires combined action, as public roads and highways, public schools, charities, pauperism, orphanage, estates of the deceased, and the machinery of government itself. From this it appears that if all men were just, there still would be ''some'', though not'' so much'', need for government.
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:261?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Fragment on Government] (1 July 1854?) in &quot;The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln&quot;, ed. Roy P. Basler, Vol. 2, pp. 220-221

* The Autocrat of all the Russias will resign his crown, and proclaim his subjects free republicans sooner than will our American masters voluntarily give up their slaves.
** Letter to George Robertson (15 August 1855)

* If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already. It is but a small matter whether you read ''with'' anyone or not. I did not read with anyone. Get the books, and read and study them till you understand them in their principal features; and that is the main thing. It is of no consequence to be in a large town while you are reading. I read at New Salem, which never had three hundred people living in it. The '''books''', and your '''capacity''' for understanding them, are just the same in all places.... '''Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing.'''
** Letter to Isham Reavis (5 November 1855)

* We live in the midst of alarms; anxiety beclouds the future; we expect some new disaster with each newspaper we read.
** Speech at Bloomington (29 May 1856)

* '''Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties. And not to Democrats alone do I make this appeal, but to all who love these great and true principles.'''
** [http://www.mrlincolnandfreedom.org/inside.asp?ID=14&amp;subjectID=2 Speech at Kalamazoo, Michigan (27 August 1856)], ''Collected Works'' [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:391?rgn=div1;view=fulltext 1:391]

* Our government rests in public opinion. '''Whoever can change public opinion, can change the government''', practically just so much.
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:413?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Speech at a Republican Banquet, Chicago, Illinois, December 10, 1856]; see Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 2'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 532

* Some more in this convention came from [[Kentucky]] to Illinois (instead of going to [[w:Missouri|Missouri]]), not only to better their conditions, but also to get away from slavery. They have said so to me, and it is understood among us Kentuckians that we don't like it one bit. Now, can we, mindful of the blessings of liberty which the early men of Illinois left to us, refuse a like privilege to the free men who seek to plant Freedom's banner on our Western outposts? Should we not stand by our neighbors who seek to better their conditions in [[Kansas]] and [[w:Nebraska|Nebraska]]? Can we as [[Christian]] men, and strong and free ourselves, wield the sledge or hold the iron which is to manacle anew an already oppressed race ? &quot;''Woe unto them'',&quot; it is written, &quot;''that decree unrighteous decrees and that write grievousness which they have prescribed''.&quot; Can we afford to sin any more deeply against human liberty?
** From the '''Speech Delivered Before the First Republican State Convention of Illinois, Held at Bloomington''' (1856); found in ''Speeches &amp; Letters of Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865'' (1894), J. M. Dent &amp; Company, p. 56.
** Also quoted by [[w:Ida Minerva Tarbell|Ida Minerva Tarbell]], ''The Life of Abraham Lincoln: Drawn from Original Sources and Containing Many Speeches, Letters, and Telegrams Hitherto Unpublished, and Illustrated with Many Reproductions from Original Paintings, Photographs, etc,'' Volume 4 (1902), [http://lincolnhistoricalsociety.org/ Lincoln History Society]; and by William C. Whitney; in '''The Writings of Abraham Lincoln'', v. 2' . (1905) Lapsley, Arthur Brooks, New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons

* '''As I would not be a ''slave'', so I would not be a ''master''. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:547?rgn=div1;singlegenre=All;sort=occur;subview=detail;type=simple;view=fulltext;q1=This+expresses+my+idea+of+democracy. Definition of Democracy]; see Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 2'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 532

* Will springs from the two elements of moral sense and self-interest.
** Speech at Springfield, Illinois (26 June 1857)

* They have seen in his round, jolly fruitful face, post-offices, land-offices, marshalships and cabinet-appointments, charge-ships and foreign missions, bursting out in wonderful exuberance, ready to be laid hold of by their greedy hands. Nobody has ever expected me to be president. In my poor, lean lank face nobody has ever seen that any cabbages were sprouting.
** Speech in Springfield, Illinois (17 July 1858), referring to Stephen Douglas. Quoted in [[w:Charles Sumner|Charles Sumner]] (1861), ''The Promises of the Declaration of Independence''

*All I ask for the negro is that if you not like him, let him alone. If God gave him but little let him enjoy.
** [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/race-and-slavery-north-and-south-some-logical-fallacies/#comment-47553 Speech in Springfield, Illinois] (17 July 1858)

* '''What constitutes the bulwark of our own [[liberty]] and independence?''' It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, the guns of our war steamers, or the strength our gallant and disciplined army? These are not our reliance against a resumption of tyranny in our fair land. All of those may be turned against our liberties, without making us weaker or stronger for the struggle. Our reliance is in the love of liberty which [[God]] has planted in our bosoms. '''Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you are preparing your own limbs to wear them. Accustomed to trample on the rights of those around you, you have lost the genius of your own independence, and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises.'''
** Speech at Edwardsville, Illinois (11 September 1858); quoted in Lincoln, Abraham; Mario Matthew Cuomo, Harold Holzer, G. S. Boritt, ''[http://books.google.de/books?id=8bWmmyJEMZoC&amp;pg=PA128 Lincoln on Democracy]'' (Fordham University Press, September 1, 2004), 128. {{ISBN|978-0823223459}}.
*** Variant of the above quote: What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, our army and our navy. These are not our reliance against tyranny All of those may be turned against us without making us weaker for the struggle. Our reliance is in the love of liberty which God has planted in us. Our defense is in the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism at your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you prepare your own limbs to wear them. Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you.
**** Fragment of Speech at Edwardsville, Ill., September 13, 1858; quoted in Lincoln, Abraham; ''[http://www.classic-literature.co.uk/american-authors/19th-century/abraham-lincoln/the-writings-of-abraham-lincoln-05/ebook-page-05.asp The Writings of Abraham Lincoln V05]'') p. 6-7

* '''Understanding the spirit of our institutions to aim at the elevation of men, I am opposed to whatever tends to degrade them.'''
** Letter to Dr. Theodore Canisius (17 May 1859)

* Negro equality! Fudge!! How long, in the government of a God, great enough to make and maintain this Universe, shall there continue to be knaves to vend, and fools to gulp, so low a piece of demagougeism as this?
** Fragments: Notes for Speeches, September 1859, ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) Vol. III; No transcripts or reports exist indicating that he ever actually used this expression in any of his speeches.&lt;!-- p. 399 --&gt;

* We know, Southern men declare that their slaves are better off than hired laborers amongst us. How little they ''know'', whereof they ''speak''! There is no permanent class of hired laborers amongst us. Twentyfive years ago, I was a hired laborer. The hired laborer of yesterday, labors on his own account to-day; and will hire others to labor for him to-morrow. '''Advancement — improvement in condition — is the order of things in a society of equals. As Labor is the common ''burthen'' of our race, so the effort of ''some'' to shift their share of the burthen on to the shoulders of ''others'', is the great, durable, curse of the race. Originally a curse for transgression upon the whole race, when, as by slavery, it is concentrated on a part only, it becomes the double-refined curse of God upon his creatures.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln3/1:141?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Fragmentary manuscript of a speech on free labor (17 September 1859?)]; ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', ed. Roy P. Basler (1953), vol. 3, p. 463

* '''Free labor has the inspiration of hope; pure slavery has no hope. The power of hope upon human exertion, and happiness, is wonderful.''' The slave-master himself has a conception of it; and hence the system of ''tasks'' among slaves. The slave whom you can not drive with the lash to break seventy-five pounds of hemp in a day, if you will task him to break a hundred, and promise him pay for all he does over, he will break you a hundred and fifty. You have substituted ''hope'', for the ''rod''. And yet perhaps it does not occur to you, that to the extent of your gain in the case, you have given up the slave system, and adopted the free system of labor.
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln3/1:141?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Fragmentary manuscript of a speech on free labor (17 September 1859?)]; ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', ed. Roy P. Basler (1953), vol. 3, pp. 463–464

* I say that we must not interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists, because the Constitution forbids it, and the general welfare does not require us to do so. We must not withhold an efficient Fugitive Slave law, because the Constitution requires us, as I understand it, not to withhold such a law. But we must prevent the outspreading of the institution, because neither the Constitution nor general welfare requires us to extend it. We must prevent the revival of the African slave trade, and the enacting by Congress of a Territorial slave code. We must prevent each of these things being done by either Congresses or courts. '''The people of these [[w:United States|United States]] are the rightful masters of both [[w:United States Congress|Congresses]] and [[w:United States federal courts|courts]], not to overthrow the [[w:United States Constitution|Constitution]], but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.'''
** [http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2657/2657-h/2657-h.htm#2H_4_0043 Speech at Cincinnati, Ohio, September 17, 1859]; in &quot;The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Five, Constitutional Edition&quot;, edited by Arthur Brooks Lapsley and released as &quot;[http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2657/2657-h/2657-h.htm The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Five, by Abraham Lincoln]&quot; by Project Gutenberg on July 5, 2009

* If I should do so now it occurs that he places himself somewhat upon the ground of the parable of the lost sheep which went astray upon the mountains, and when the owner of the hundred sheep found the one that was lost and threw it upon his shoulders, and came home rejoicing, it was said that there was more rejoicing over the one sheep that was lost and had been found than over the ninety and nine in the fold. The application is made by the Saviour in this parable thus: '''Verily I say unto you, there is more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner that repenteth than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentance''.' Repentance before forgiveness is a provision of the Christian system, and on that condition alone will the Republicans grant his forgiveness.
** Regarding his debate with Judge S. A. Douglas, in his Springfield address (17 July 1858), published in ''The Life, Speeches, and Public Services of Abraham Lincoln: Together with a Sketch of the Life of Hannibal Hamlin: Republican candidates for the offices of President and Vice-President of the United States'' (1860), p. 50&lt;!-- Rudd &amp; Carleton --&gt;
** Lincoln was alluding to the words of [[Jesus]] in [http://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Luke%2015%3A7 Luke 15:7]

*[[Republican Party (United States)|The Republican]] principle, the unalterable principle, never to be lost sight of, is that [[slavery]] is wrong.
**[https://diplomatdc.wordpress.com/2010/06/05/the-libertarian-attack-on-abraham-lincoln-by-gregory-hilton/ Speech] (1859)
 
==== [[w:Abraham Lincoln's Peoria speech|Speech at Peoria, Illinois]] (1854) ====
[[File:Life and Works of Abraham Lincoln vol 3 p 8.jpg|thumb|No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent. ]]
[[File:ArchivesRotunda.jpg|thumb|I insist, that if there is ANY THING which it is the duty of the WHOLE PEOPLE to never entrust to any hands but their own, that thing is the preservation and perpetuity, of their own liberties, and institutions.]]
[[File:Abraham lincoln memorial-london.jpg|thumb|Slavery is founded in the selfishness of man's nature — opposition to it, in his love of justice.]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by Adolph Alexander Weinman - Kentucky State Capitol - DSC09243.JPG|thumb|Stand with anybody that stands RIGHT. Stand with him while he is right and PART with him when he goes wrong.]]
[[File:EdwardMoran-UnveilingTheStatueofLiberty1886Large.jpg|thumb|Is there no [[danger]] to [[liberty]] itself, in discarding the earliest practice, and first precept of our [[United States Declaration of Independence|ancient faith]]?]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;rgn=div2;view=text;idno=lincoln2;node=lincoln2:282.1 Speech at Peoria, Illinois, in Reply to Senator Douglas (16 October 1854)]; published in ''The Complete Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1894) Vol. 2 &lt;/small&gt;

* The foregoing history may not be precisely accurate in every particular; but I am sure it is sufficiently so, for all the uses I shall attempt to make of it, and in it, we have before us, the chief material enabling us to correctly judge whether [[w:Kansas–Nebraska Act|the repeal of the Missouri Compromise]] is right or wrong. &lt;br /&gt; I think, and shall try to show, that it is wrong; wrong in its direct effect, letting slavery into Kansas and Nebraska — and wrong in its prospective principle, allowing it to spread to every other part of the wide world, where men can be found inclined to take it. &lt;br /&gt; This ''declared'' indifference, but as I must think, covert ''real'' zeal for '''the spread of slavery, I can not but hate. I hate it because of the monstrous injustice of slavery itself. I hate it because it deprives our republican example of its just influence in the world — enables the enemies of free institutions, with plausibility, to taunt us as hypocrites — causes the real friends of freedom to doubt our sincerity, and especially because it forces so many really good men amongst ourselves into an open war with the very fundamental principles of civil liberty — criticising the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]], and insisting that there is no right principle of action but ''self-interest''.'''

* '''When Southern people tell us they are no more responsible for the origin of slavery than we are, I acknowledge the fact.''' When it is said that the institution exists, and that it is very difficult to get rid of it in any satisfactory way, I can understand and appreciate the saying. I surely will not blame them for not doing what I should not know how to do myself. If all earthly power were given me, I should not know what to do as to the existing institution. My first impulse would be to free all the slaves, and send them to Liberia, to their own native land. But a moment's reflection would convince me that whatever of high hope (as I think there is) there may be in this in the long run, its sudden execution is impossible. If they were all landed there in a day, they would all perish in the next ten days; and there are not surplus shipping and surplus money enough to carry them there in many times ten days. What then? Free them all, and keep them among us as underlings? Is it quite certain that this betters their condition? I think I would not hold one in slavery at any rate, yet the point is not clear enough for me to denounce people upon. What next? Free them, and make them politically and socially our equals. My own feelings will not admit of this, and if mine would, we well know that those of the great mass of whites will not. Whether this feeling accords with justice and sound judgment is not the sole question, if indeed it is any part of it. A universal feeling, whether well or ill founded, cannot be safely disregarded. We cannot then make them equals. It does seem to me that systems of gradual emancipation might be adopted, but for their tardiness in this I will not undertake to judge our brethren of the South.

* Wherever slavery is, it has been first introduced without law. The oldest laws we find concerning it, are not laws introducing it; but ''regulating'' it, as an already existing thing.

* The negative principle that ''no'' law is free law, is not much known except among lawyers.

* &quot;[[An Essay on Criticism|Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.]]&quot; At the hazard of being thought one of the fools of this quotation, I meet that argument — I rush in — I take that bull by the horns. I trust I understand and truly estimate the right of self-government. My faith in the proposition that each man should do precisely as he pleases with all which is exclusively his own lies at the foundation of the sense of justice there is in me. I extend the principle to communities of men as well as to individuals. I so extend it because it is politically wise, as well as naturally just: politically wise in saving us from broils about matters which do not concern us. Here, or at [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], I would not trouble myself with the oyster laws of [[Virginia]], or the cranberry laws of [[w:Indiana|Indiana]]. The doctrine of self-government is right, — absolutely and eternally right, — but it has no just application as here attempted. Or perhaps I should rather say that whether it has such application depends upon whether a negro is ''not'' or ''is'' a man. If he is ''not'' a man, in that case he who is a man may as a matter of self-government do just what he pleases with him. &lt;br /&gt; But if the negro ''is'' a man, is it not to that extent a total destruction of self-government to say that he too shall not govern ''himself''. '''When the white man governs himself, that is self-government; but when he governs himself and also governs ''another'' man, that is ''more'' than self-government — that is [[Tyranny|despotism]]. If the negro is a ''man'', why then my ancient faith teaches me that &quot;[[United States Declaration of Independence|all men are created equal]],&quot; and that there can be no moral right in connection with one man's making a slave of another.'''

* Judge Douglas frequently, with bitter irony and sarcasm, paraphrases our argument by saying: &quot;The [[white people]] of Nebraska are good enough to govern themselves, ''but they are not good enough to govern a few miserable [[Black people|negroes]]''!&quot; &lt;br /&gt; Well! I doubt not that the people of Nebraska are and will continue to be as good as the average of people elsewhere. I do not say the contrary. What I do say is that '''no man is good enough to govern another man ''without that other's consent.''''' I say '''this is the leading principle, the sheet-anchor of American republicanism.''' Our [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]] says: &quot;We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, ''deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed''.&quot; &lt;br /&gt; I have quoted so much at this time merely to show that, according to our ancient faith, '''the just powers of governments are derived from the consent of the governed.''' Now the relation of master and slave is ''pro tanto'' a total violation of this principle. '''The master not only governs the slave without his consent, but he governs him by a set of rules altogether different from those which he prescribes for himself. Allow ALL the governed an equal voice in the government, and that, and that only, is self-government.'''

* '''I insist, that if there is ANY THING which it is the duty of the WHOLE PEOPLE to never entrust to any hands but their own, that thing is the preservation and perpetuity, of their own liberties, and institutions.'''

* '''[[Slavery in the United States|Slavery]] is founded in the selfishness of man's [[nature]] — opposition to it, in his love of [[justice]].''' These principles are an eternal antagonism; and when brought into collision so fiercely, as slavery extension brings them, shocks, and throes, and convulsions must ceaselessly follow. '''Repeal the [[w:Missouri Compromise|Missouri Compromise]] — repeal all compromises — repeal the Declaration of Independence — repeal all past history, you still can not repeal human nature. It still will be the abundance of man's heart, that slavery extension is wrong; and out of the abundance of his heart, his mouth will continue to speak.'''

* '''Stand with anybody that stands RIGHT. Stand with him while he is right and PART with him when he goes wrong.'''

* '''Little by little, but steadily as man's march to the grave, we have been giving up the OLD for the NEW faith. Near eighty years ago we began by declaring that all men are created equal; but now from that beginning we have run down to the other declaration, that for SOME men to enslave OTHERS is a “sacred right of self-government.” These principles can not stand together. They are as opposite as [[God]] and [[w:Mammon|mammon]]; and whoever holds to the one, must despise the other.''' [...] Let no one be deceived. The [[United States Declaration of Independence|spirit of seventy-six]] and [[w:Kansas–Nebraska Act|the spirit of Nebraska]], are utter antagonisms; and the former is being rapidly displaced by the latter.

* Already the liberal party throughout the world, express the apprehension “[https://web.archive.org/web/20201026194337/https://mcdaniel.blogs.rice.edu/?p=126 that the one retrograde institution in America, is undermining the principles of progress, and fatally violating the noblest political system the world ever saw.]” This is not the taunt of enemies, but the warning of friends. Is it quite safe to disregard it — to despise it? '''Is there no danger to liberty itself, in discarding the earliest practice, and first precept of our [[United States Declaration of Independence|ancient faith]]?''' In our greedy chase to make profit of the negro, let us beware, lest we “cancel and tear to pieces” even the white man's charter of freedom.

* Our republican robe is soiled, and trailed in the dust. Let us repurify it. Let us turn and wash it white, in the spirit, if not the blood, of the [[American Revolution|Revolution]]. Let us turn slavery from its claims of “moral right,” back upon its existing legal rights, and its arguments of 'necessity'. Let us return it to the position our fathers gave it; and there let it rest in peace. Let us re-adopt the Declaration of Independence, and with it, the practices, and policy, which harmonize with it. '''Let north and south — let all Americans — let all lovers of liberty everywhere — join in the great and good work. If we do this, we shall not only have saved the Union; but we shall have so saved it, as to make, and to keep it, forever worthy of the saving. We shall have so saved it, that the succeeding millions of free happy people, the world over, shall rise up, and call us blessed, to the latest generations.'''

* In the course of my main argument, [[Stephen A. Douglas|Judge Douglas]] interrupted me to say, that the principle the Nebraska bill was very old; that it originated when '''God made man and placed good and evil before him, allowing him to choose for himself, being responsible for the choice he should make.''' At the time I thought this was merely playful; and I answered it accordingly. But in his reply to me he renewed it, as a serious argument. In seriousness then, the facts of this proposition are not true as stated. '''God did not place good and evil before man, telling him to make his choice. On the contrary, he did tell him there was one tree, of the fruit of which, he should not eat, upon pain of certain death.'''

====Letter to Joshua F. Speed (1855)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/speed.htm Letter to Joshua F. Speed (24 August 1855).]&lt;/small&gt;
*You know what a poor correspondent I am. Ever since I received your very agreeable letter of the 22nd. of May I have been intending to write you in answer to it. You suggest that in political action now, you and I would differ. I suppose we would; not quite as much, however, as you may think. You know I dislike slavery; and you fully admit the abstract wrong of it. So far there is no cause of difference. But you say that sooner than yield your legal right to the slave — especially at the bidding of those who are not themselves interested, you would see the Union dissolved. I am not aware that any one is bidding you to yield that right; very certainly I am not. I leave that matter entirely to yourself. I also acknowledge your rights and my obligations, under the constitution, in regard to your slaves. I confess I hate to see the poor creatures hunted down, and caught, and carried back to their stripes, and unrewarded toils; but I bite my lip and keep quiet. In 1841 you and I had together a tedious low-water trip, on a Steam Boat from [[w:Louisville, Kentucky|Louisville]] to [[St. Louis]]. You may remember, as I well do, that from Louisville to the mouth of the Ohio, there were, on board, ten or a dozen slaves, shackled together with irons. That sight was a continued torment to me; and I see something like it every time I touch the Ohio, or any other slave-border. It is hardly fair for you to assume, that I have no interest in a thing which has, and continually exercises, the power of making me miserable. You ought rather to appreciate how much the great body of the Northern people do crucify their feelings, in order to maintain their loyalty to the Constitution and the Union.

*I do oppose the extension of slavery, because my judgment and feelings so prompt me; and I am under no obligation to the contrary. If for this you and I must differ, differ we must. You say if you were President, you would send an army and hang the leaders of the Missouri outrages upon the Kansas elections; still, if Kansas fairly votes herself a slave state, she must be admitted, or the Union must be dissolved. But how if she votes herself a slave State unfairly — that is, by the very means for which you say you would hang men? Must she still be admitted, or the Union be dissolved? That will be the phase of the question when it first becomes a practical one. In your assumption that there may be a fair decision of the slavery question in Kansas, I plainly see you and I would differ about the Nebraska-law. I look upon that enactment not as a law, but as violence from the beginning. It was conceived in violence, passed in violence, is maintained in violence, and is being executed in violence. I say it was conceived in violence, because the destruction of the Missouri Compromise, under the circumstances, was nothing less than violence. It was passed in violence, because it could not have passed at all but for the votes of many members in violence of the known will of their constituents. It is maintained in violence because the elections since, clearly demand it's repeal, and this demand is openly disregarded. You say men ought to be hung for the way they are executing that law; and I say the way it is being executed is quite as good as any of its antecedents. It is being executed in the precise way which was intended from the first; else why does no Nebraska man express astonishment or condemnation? Poor Reeder is the only public man who has been silly enough to believe that any thing like fairness was ever intended; and he has been bravely undeceived.

* '''You enquire where I now stand. That is a disputed point.''' I think I am a whig; but others say there are no whigs, and that I am an abolitionist. When I was at Washington I voted for the [[w:Wilmot Proviso|Wilmot Proviso]] as good as forty times, and I never heard of any one attempting to unwhig me for that. I now do more than oppose the ''extension'' of slavery. &lt;br /&gt; I am not a [[w:Know Nothing|Know-Nothing]]. That is certain. How could I be? How can any one who abhors the oppression of negroes, be in favor of degrading classes of white people? Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid. '''As a nation, we began by declaring that'' &quot;all men are created equal.&quot; ''We now practically read it &quot;all men are created equal, ''except negroes.&quot;'' When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read &quot;all men are created equal, except negroes, ''and foreigners, and [[Catholic Church|catholics]].&quot;'' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty — to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be take pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy''' [sic].
** Letter to longtime friend and slave-holder Joshua F. Speed (24 August 1855)

==== Speech on the Dred Scott Decision (1857) ====
[[File:The Library of Congress - (Abraham Lincoln, candidate for U.S. president. Head-and-shoulders portrait, facing right, June 3, 1860) (LOC).jpg|thumb|We believe … in obedience to, and respect for the judicial department of government. We think its decisions on Constitutional questions, when fully settled, should control, not only the particular cases decided, but the general policy of the country, subject to be disturbed only by amendments of the Constitution as provided in that instrument itself. More than this would be revolution.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[https://web.archive.org/web/20020908182323/http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=52 Speech at Springfield, Illinois on June 26, 1857.]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Washington Constitutional Convention 1787.jpg|thumb|In those days, our ''Declaration of Independence'' was held sacred by all, and thought to include all; but now, to aid in making the bondage of the negro universal and eternal, it is assailed, and sneered at, and construed, and hawked at, and torn, till, if its framers could rise from their graves, they could not at all recognize it.]]
[[File:Harriet Tubman c1868-69.jpg|thumb| In some respects she certainly is not my equal; but in her natural right to eat the bread she earns with her own hands without asking leave of any one else, she is my equal, and the equal of all others.]]
[[File:Birthplace of the US Republican Party 2.jpg|thumb|The Republicans inculcate, with whatever of ability they can, that the negro is a man; that his bondage is cruelly wrong, and that the field of his oppression ought not to be enlarged...]]
[[File:ConfederateCabinet.jpg|thumb|[[Democratic Party (United States)|The Democrats]] deny [[w:African American|his]] manhood; deny, or dwarf to insignificance, the wrong of his bondage; so far as possible, crush all sympathy for him, and cultivate and excite hatred and disgust against [[w:African American|him]].]]

* '''We believe … in obedience to, and respect for the judicial department of government. We think its decisions on Constitutional questions, when fully settled, should control, not only the particular cases decided, but the general policy of the country, subject to be disturbed only by amendments of the Constitution as provided in that instrument itself. More than this would be revolution.''' But we think the [[w:Dred Scott v. Sandford|Dred Scott decision]] is erroneous. … If this important decision had been made by the unanimous concurrence of the [[judges]], and without any apparent partisan bias, and in accordance with legal public expectation, and with the steady practice of the departments throughout our history, and had been in no part, based on assumed historical facts which are not really true; or, if wanting in some of these, it had been before the court more than once, and had there been affirmed and re-affirmed through a course of years, it then might be, perhaps would be, factious, nay, even revolutionary, to not acquiesce in it as a precedent.

* '''[[w:Roger Taney|Chief Justice]] does not directly assert, but plainly assumes, as a fact, that the public estimate of the black man is more favorable now than it was in the days of the Revolution. This assumption is a mistake'''. In some trifling particulars, the condition of that race has been ameliorated; but, as a whole, in this country, the change between then and now is decidedly the other way; and their ultimate destiny has never appeared so hopeless as in the last three or four years. '''In two of the five states — [[New Jersey]] and [[North Carolina]] — that then gave the free negro the right of voting, the right has since been taken away'''; and in a third — New York — it has been greatly abridged; while it has not been extended, so far as I know, to a single additional state, though the number of the States has more than doubled.

* '''In those days, as I understand, masters could, at their own pleasure, emancipate their slaves; but since then, such legal restraints have been made upon emancipation, as to amount almost to prohibition.''' In those days, Legislatures held the unquestioned power to abolish slavery in their respective States; but now it is becoming quite fashionable for [[w:State constitution (United States)|State Constitutions]] to withhold that power from the Legislatures. In those days, by common consent, the spread of the black man's bondage to new countries was prohibited; but now, Congress decides that it will not continue the prohibition, and the [[Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court]] decides that it could not if it would. '''In those days, our ''Declaration of Independence'' was held sacred by all, and thought to include all; but now, to aid in making the bondage of the negro universal and eternal, it is assailed, and sneered at, and construed, and hawked at, and torn, till, if its framers could rise from their graves, they could not at all recognize it'''. All the powers of earth seem rapidly combining against him. [[Mammon]] is after him; ambition follows, and philosophy follows, and the Theology of the day is fast joining the cry. They have him in his prison house; they have searched his person, and left no prying instrument with him. '''One after another they have closed the heavy iron doors upon him, and now they have him, as it were, bolted in with a lock of a hundred keys, which can never be unlocked without the concurrence of every key; the keys in the hands of a hundred different men, and they scattered to a hundred different and distant places; and they stand musing as to what invention, in all the dominions of mind and matter, can be produced to make the impossibility of his escape more complete than it is. It is grossly incorrect to say or assume, that the public estimate of the negro is more favorable now than it was at the origin of the government.'''

* There is a natural disgust in the minds of nearly all white people, to the idea of an indiscriminate amalgamation of the white and black races; and Judge Douglas evidently is basing his chief hope, upon the chances of being able to appropriate the benefit of this disgust to himself. If he can, by much drumming and repeating, fasten the odium of that idea upon his adversaries, he thinks he can struggle through the storm. He therefore clings to this hope, as a drowning man to the last plank. He makes an occasion for lugging it in from the opposition to the ''Dred Scott'' decision. He finds the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]] insisting that the Declaration of Independence includes ALL men, black as well as white; and forth-with he boldly denies that it includes negroes at all, and proceeds to argue gravely that all who contend it does, do so only because they want to vote, and eat, and sleep, and marry with negroes! He will have it that they cannot be consistent else. Now I protest against that counterfeit logic which concludes that, because I do not want '''a black woman''' for a slave I must necessarily want her for a wife. I need not have her for either, I can just leave her alone. '''In some respects she certainly is not my equal; but in her natural right to eat the bread she earns with her own hands without asking leave of any one else, she is my equal, and the equal of ''all'' others'''.

* '''I think the authors of that notable instrument intended to include all men, but they did not intend to declare all men equal in all respects. They did not mean to say all were equal in color, size, intellect, moral developments, or social capacity. They defined with tolerable distinctness, in what respects they did consider all men created equal; equal in &quot;certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.&quot; This they said, and this meant. They did not mean to assert the obvious untruth, that all were then actually enjoying that equality, nor yet, that they were about to confer it immediately upon them. In fact they had no power to confer such a boon. They meant simply to declare the right, so that the enforcement of it might follow as fast as circumstances should permit. They meant to set up a standard maxim for free society, which should be familiar to all, and revered by all; constantly looked to, constantly labored for, and even though never perfectly attained, constantly approximated, and thereby constantly spreading and deepening its influence, and augmenting the happiness and value of life to all people of all [[Race|colors]] everywhere. The assertion that &quot;all men are created equal&quot;''' was of no practical use in effecting our separation from [[United Kingdom|Great Britain]]; and it '''was placed in the Declaration''', nor for that, but '''for future use. Its authors meant it to be''', thank God, it is now proving itself, '''a stumbling block to those who in after times might seek to turn a free people back into the hateful paths of despotism. They knew the proneness of prosperity to breed tyrants, and they meant when such should re-appear in this fair land and commence their vocation they should find left for them at least one hard nut to crack.''' I have now briefly expressed my view of the '''meaning and objects of that part of the Declaration of Independence which declares that &quot;all men are created equal&quot;.'''

* '''Will springs from the two elements of moral sense and self-interest.'''

* The Republicans inculcate, with whatever of ability they can, that the negro is a man; that his bondage is cruelly wrong, and that the field of his oppression ought not to be enlarged. The Democrats deny his manhood; deny, or dwarf to insignificance, the wrong of his bondage; so far as possible, crush all sympathy for him, and cultivate and excite hatred and disgust against him; compliment themselves as Union-savers for doing so; and call the indefinite outspreading of his bondage &quot;a sacred right of self-government&quot;.

==== [[w:Lincoln's House Divided Speech|The House Divided speech]] (1858) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[[s:Life_and_Works_of_Abraham_Lincoln/Volume_4/A_House_Divided_Against_Itself_Cannot_Stand|Speech at the Republican State Convention, Springfield, Illinois, accepting the Republican nomination for US Senate]] (16 June 1858)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Page8-Life and Works of Abraham Lincoln, v4.jpg|thumb|A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free.]]
[[File:Declaration_independence.jpg|thumb|I think the authors of that notable instrument intended to include all men, but they did not mean to declare all men equal in all respects. They did not mean to say all men were equal in color, size, intellect, moral development, or social capacity. They defined with tolerable distinctness in what they did consider all men created equal — equal in &quot;certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.&quot;]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln (head).png|thumb|Of strange, discordant, and even hostile elements, we gathered from the four winds, and formed and fought the battle through … Wise counsels may accelerate, or mistakes delay it, but, sooner or later, the victory is sure to come.]]

* '''If we could first know where we are, and whither we are tending, we could then better judge what to do, and how to do it.''' We are now far into the fifth year, since a policy was initiated, with the avowed object, and confident promise, of putting an end to slavery agitation. Under the operation of that policy, that agitation has not only, not ceased, but has constantly augmented. In my opinion, it will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached, and passed.

* '''&quot;A house divided against itself cannot stand.&quot; I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved — I do not expect the house to fall — but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other.'''
** In this famous statement, Lincoln is quoting the response of [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]] to those who accused him of being able to cast out devils because he was empowered by the Prince of devils, recorded in [[s:Bible (King James)/Matthew#12:25|Matthew 12:25]]: &quot;And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand&quot;.

* Either the opponents of slavery, will arrest the further spread of it, and place it where the public mind shall rest in the belief that it is in the course of ultimate extinction; or its advocates will push it forward, till it shall become alike lawful in all the States, old as well as new — North as well as South. &lt;br /&gt; Have we no tendency to the latter condition? &lt;br /&gt; Let any one who doubts, carefully contemplate that now almost complete legal combination — piece of machinery so to speak — compounded of the [[w:Kansas-Nebraska Act|Nebraska doctrine]], and the [[w:Dred Scott v. Sandford|Dred Scott decision]].

* The new year of 1854 found slavery excluded from more than half the States by State constitutions, and from most of the national territory by congressional prohibition. Four days later commenced the struggle which ended in repealing that congressional prohibition. This opened all the national territory to slavery, and was the first point gained. But, so far, Congress only had acted; and an indorsement by the people, real or apparent, was indispensable to save the point already gained and give chance for more. This necessity had not been overlooked; but had been provided for, as well as might be, in the notable argument of '''&quot;squatter sovereignty,&quot; otherwise called &quot;sacred right of self government,&quot; which''' latter '''phrase''', though expressive of the only rightful basis of any government, was so perverted in this attempted use of it as to amount to just this: '''That if any one man, choose to enslave another, no third man shall be allowed to object.'''

* Under the Dred Scott decision, &quot;squatter sovereignty&quot; squatted out of existence, tumbled down like temporary scaffolding — like the mould at the foundry served through one blast and fell back into loose sand — helped to carry an election, and then was kicked to the winds.

* The several points of the Dred Scott decision, in connection with Senator Douglas's &quot;care-not&quot; policy, constitute the piece of machinery, in its present state of advancement. This was the third point gained. The working points of that machinery are: (1) That no negro slave, imported as such from Africa, and no descendant of such slave, can ever be a citizen of any State, in the sense of that term as used in the Constitution of the United States. This point is made in order to deprive the negro in every possible event of the benefit of that provision of the United States Constitution which declares that &quot;the citizens of each State shall be entitled to all the privileges and immunities of citizens in the several States.&quot; (2) That, &quot;subject to the Constitution of the United States,&quot; neither Congress nor a territorial legislature can exclude slavery from any United States Territory. This point is made in order that individual men may fill up the Territories with slaves, without danger of losing them as property, and thus enhance the chances of permanency to the institution through all the future. (3) That whether the holding a negro in actual slavery in a free State makes him free as against the holder, the United States courts will not decide, but will leave to be decided by the courts of any slave State the negro may be forced into by the master. This point is made not to be pressed immediately, but, if acquiesced in for a while, and apparently indorsed by the people at an election, then to sustain the logical conclusion that what Dred Scott's master might lawfully do with Dred Scott in the free State of Illinois, every other master may lawfully do with any other one or one thousand slaves in Illinois or in any other free State.

* Auxiliary to all this, and working hand in hand with it, the Nebraska doctrine, or what is left of it, is to educate and mold public opinion, at least Northern public opinion, not to care whether slavery is voted down or voted up. This shows exactly where we now are; and partially, also, whither we are tending. &lt;br /&gt; It will throw additional light on the latter, to go back, and run the mind over the string of historical facts already stated. Several things will now appear less dark and mysterious than they did when they were transpiring. The people were to be left &quot;perfectly free,&quot; subject only to the Constitution. What the Constitution had to do with it, outsiders could not then see. Plainly enough now, it was an exactly fitted niche, for the Dred Scott decision to afterward come in, and declare the perfect free freedom of the people to be just no freedom at all. Why was the amendment, expressly declaring the right of the people, voted down? Plainly enough now: the adoption of it would have spoiled the niche for the Dred Scott decision.

* We cannot absolutely know that all these exact adaptations are the result of preconcert. But when we see a lot of framed timbers, different portions of which we know have been gotten out at different times and places, and by different workmen — [[Stephen A. Douglas|Stephen]], [[Franklin Pierce|Franklin]], [[w:Roger B. Taney|Roger]], and [[James Buchanan|James]], for instance — and when we see these timbers joined together, and see they exactly matte the frame of a house or a mill, all the tenons and mortices exactly fitting, and all the lengths and proportions of the different pieces exactly adapted to their respective places, and not a piece too many or too few, — not omitting even scaffolding — or, if a single piece be lacking, we see the place in the frame exactly fitted and prepared yet to bring such piece in — in such a case we find it impossible not to believe that Stephen and Franklin and Roger and James all understood one another from the beginning and all worked upon a common plan or draft drawn up before the first blow was struck.

* While the opinion of the court, by Chief-Justice Taney, in the Dred Scott case and the separate opinions of all the concurring judges, expressly declare that the Constitution of the United States neither permits Congress nor a Territorial legislature to exclude slavery from any United States Territory, they all omit to declare whether or not the same Constitution permits a State, or the people of a State, to exclude it.

* Such a decision is all that slavery now lacks of being alike lawful in all the States. Welcome, or unwelcome, such decision is probably coming, and will soon be upon us, unless the power of the present political dynasty shall be met and overthrown. '''We shall lie down pleasantly dreaming that the people of Missouri are on the verge of making their State free, and we shall awake to the reality instead, that the Supreme Court has made Illinois a slave State.''' To meet and overthrow the power of that dynasty is the work now before all those who would prevent that consummation. This is what we have to do. How can we best do it?

* There are those who denounce us openly to their own friends and yet whisper us softly, that Senator Douglas is the aptest instrument there is with which to effect that object. They wish us to infer all this from the fact that he now has a little quarrel with the present head of the dynasty; and that he has regularly voted with us on a single point upon which he and we have never differed. '''They remind us that he is a great man, and that the largest of us are very small ones. Let this be granted. But &quot;a living dog is better than a dead lion.&quot; Judge Douglas, if not a dead lion, for this work, is at least a caged and toothless one.''' How can he oppose the advances of slavery? He does not care anything about it. His avowed mission is impressing the &quot;public heart&quot; to care nothing about it. A leading Douglas Democratic newspaper thinks Douglas's superior talent will be needed to resist the revival of the African slave-trade. Does Douglas believe an effort to revive that trade is approaching? He has not said so. Does he really think so? But if it is, how can he resist it? For years he has labored to prove it a sacred right of white men to take negro slaves into the new Territories. Can he possibly show that it is less a sacred right to buy them where they can be bought cheapest? And unquestionably they can be bought cheaper in Africa than in Virginia. He has done all in his power to reduce the whole question of slavery to one of a mere right of property; and as such, how can he oppose the foreign slave trade — how can he refuse that trade in that &quot;property&quot; shall be &quot;perfectly free&quot; — unless he does it as a protection to the home production? And as the home producers will probably not ask the protection, he will be wholly without a ground of opposition.

* Senator Douglas holds, we know, that a man may rightfully be wiser today than he was yesterday — that he may rightfully change when he finds himself wrong. But can we, for that reason, run ahead, and infer that he will make any particular change, of which he, himself, has given no intimation?

* Now, as ever, I wish not to misrepresent Judge Douglas's position, question his motives, or do aught that can be personally offensive to him. '''Whenever, if ever, he and we can come together on principle so that our cause may have assistance from his great ability, I hope to have interposed no adventitious obstacle. But clearly, he is not now with us — he does not pretend to be — he does not promise ever to be. Our cause, then, must be intrusted to, and conducted by, its own undoubted friends — those whose hands are free, whose hearts are in the work — who do care for the result.'''

* '''Of strange, discordant, and even hostile elements, we gathered from the four winds, and formed and fought the battle through, under the constant hot fire of a disciplined, proud, and pampered enemy.''' Did we brave all them to falter now? — now, when that same enemy is wavering, dissevered, and belligerent? The result is not doubtful. '''We shall not fail — if we stand firm, we shall not fail. Wise counsels may accelerate, or mistakes delay it, but, sooner or later, the victory is sure to come.'''

====Speech at Chicago (1858)====
[[File:Life and Works of Abraham Lincoln vol 3 p 8.jpg|thumb|Each individual is naturally entitled to do as he pleases with himself and the fruit of his labor, so far as it in no wise interferes with any other man's rights.]]
[[File:EdwardMoran-UnveilingTheStatueofLiberty1886Large.jpg|thumb|When they look through that old Declaration of Independence they find that those old men say that 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,' and then they feel that that moral sentiment taught in that day evidences their relation to those men, that it is the father of all moral principle in them, and that they have a right to claim it as though they were blood of the blood, and flesh of the flesh of the men who wrote [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]], and so they are. That is the electric cord in [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]] that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln2/1:526?rgn=div1;singlegenre=All;sort=occur;subview=detail;type=simple;view=fulltext;q1=Let+us+discard+all+this+quibbling Address to Chicagoan abolitionists (10 July 1858); quoted in Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 501].ee also: Abraham Lincoln (July 10, 1858): ''Speech at Chicago, Illinois''. Published by Teaching American History. [https://web.archive.org/web/20210411130540/https://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/speech-at-chicago-illinois/ Archived] from the [https://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/speech-at-chicago-illinois/ original] on April 11, 2021.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I have always hated slavery, I think as much as any [[Abolitionism|Abolitionist]].'''

* '''I believe each individual is naturally entitled to do as he pleases with himself and the fruit of his labor, so far as it in no wise interferes with any other man's rights''', that '''each community, as a State, has a right to do exactly as it pleases with all the concerns within that State that interfere with the right of no other State, and that the general government, upon principle, has no right to interfere with anything other than that general class of things that does concern the whole.'''

* '''It is better''', then, '''to save the work while it is begun.''' You have done the labor; maintain it—keep it. '''If men choose to serve you, go with them; but as you have made up your organization upon principle, stand by it; for, as surely as God reigns over you, and has inspired your mind, and given you a sense of propriety and continues to give you hope, so surely you will still cling to these ideas, and you will at last come back again after your wanderings, merely to do your work over again.''' 

*[[United States|We]] are now a mighty [[Countries|nation]], we are thirty — or about thirty millions of people, and we own and inhabit about one‑fifteenth part of the dry land of the whole earth. We run our memory back over the pages of history for about eighty‑two years and we discover that we were then a very small people in point of numbers, vastly inferior to what we are now, with a vastly less extent of country, with vastly less of everything we deem desirable among men, we look upon the change as exceedingly advantageous to us and to our posterity, and we fix upon something that happened away back, as in some way or other being connected with this rise of prosperity. We find a race of men living in that day whom we claim as our fathers and grandfathers; they were iron men, they fought for the principle that they were contending for; and we understood that by what they then did it has followed that the degree of prosperity that we now enjoy has come to us. We hold this annual celebration to remind ourselves of all the good done in this process of time of how it was done and who did it, and how we are historically connected with it; and we go from these meetings in better humor with ourselves — we feel more attached the one to the other, and more firmly bound to the country we inhabit. In every way we are better men in the age, and race, and country in which we live for these celebrations. But after we have done all this we have not yet reached the whole.

*There is something else connected with it. We have besides these men — descended by blood from our ancestors — among us perhaps half our people who are not descendants at all of these men, they are men who have come from Europe — [[Germans|German]], [[Irish people|Irish]], [[French people|French]] and [[w:Scandinavian people|Scandinavian]] — men that have come from Europe themselves, or whose ancestors have come hither and settled here, finding themselves our equals in all things. '''If they look back through this history to trace their connection with those days by blood, they find they have none, they cannot carry themselves back into that glorious epoch and make themselves feel that they are part of us, but when they look through that old Declaration of Independence they find that those old men say that 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,' and then they feel that that moral sentiment taught in that day evidences their relation to those men, that it is the father of all moral principle in them, and that they have a right to claim it as though they were blood of the blood, and flesh of the flesh of the men who wrote [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]], and so they are. That is the electric cord in [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]] that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world.'''

*'''I should like to know if taking this old ''Declaration of Independence'', which declares that all men are equal upon principle and making exceptions to it where will it stop. If one man says it does not mean a negro, why not another say it does not mean some other man? If [[United States Declaration of Independence|that declaration]] is not the truth, let us get the Statute book, in which we find it and tear it out! Who is so bold as to do it! If it is not true let us tear it out! Let us stick to it then, let us stand firmly by it then.'''

*It may be argued that there are certain conditions that make necessities and impose them upon us, and to the extent that a necessity is imposed upon a man he must submit to it. I think that was the condition in which we found ourselves when we established this government. We had slavery among us, we could not get our constitution unless we permitted them to remain in slavery, we could not secure the good we did secure if we grasped for more, and having by necessity submitted to that much, it does not destroy the principle that is the charter of our liberties. Let that charter stand as our standard.

* It is said in one of the admonitions of the Lord, “As your Father in Heaven is perfect, be ye also perfect.” The Savior, I suppose, did not expect that any human creature could be perfect as the Father in Heaven; but He said, “As your Father in Heaven is perfect, be ye also perfect.” He set that up as a standard, and he who did most towards reaching that standard, attained the highest degree of moral perfection. So I say in relation to the principle that all men are created equal, let it be as nearly reached as we can. '''If we cannot give freedom to every creature, let us do nothing that will impose slavery upon any other creature. Let us then turn this government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it.et us stand firmly by each other. If we do not do so we are turning in the contrary direction''', that our friend Judge Douglas proposes—not intentionally—as working in the traces tend to make this one universal slave nation.

* '''Let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man, this race and that race and the other race being inferior and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal.'''

* '''I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal.'''

==== [[w:Lincoln–Douglas debates of 1858|Lincoln–Douglas debates]] (1858) ====
[[File: Benkos_Bioho.jpg|thumb|In relation to the principle that all men are created equal, let it be as nearly reached as we can. If we cannot give freedom to every creature, let us do nothing that will impose slavery upon any other creature.]]
[[File:Ottawa IL Washington Park Lincoln-Douglas Statues2.jpg|thumb|I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal.]]
[[File:Freeport Il Debate Square3.JPG|thumb|With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed. Consequently he who moulds public sentiment, goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or pronounces decisions.]]
[[File:Writing the Declaration of Independence 1776 cph.3g09904.jpg|thumb|I think the authors of that [[United States Declaration of Independence|notable instrument]] intended to include all men, but they did not mean to declare all men equal in all respects. They did not mean to say all men were equal in color, size, intellect, moral development, or social capacity. They defined with tolerable distinctness in what they did consider all men created equal — equal in &quot;certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.&quot; This they said, and this they meant.]]
[[File:Lincoln debating douglas.jpg|thumb|Let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man; this race and that race and the other race being inferior, and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position; discarding our standard that we have left us. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal.]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by Byers, 1858 - crop.jpg|thumb|I do not perceive that because the white man is to have the superior position the negro should be denied everything. I do not understand that because I do not want a negro woman for a slave I must necessarily want her for a wife. My understanding is that I can just let her alone.]]
[[File:Abrahamlincoln.jpg|thumb|The entire records of the world, from the date of [[United States Declaration of Independence|the ''Declaration of Independence'']] up to within three years ago, may be searched in vain for one single affirmation, from one single man, that the negro was not included in [[United States Declaration of Independence|the ''Declaration of Independence'']]; I think I may defy Judge Douglas to show that he ever said so, that [[George Washington|Washington]] ever said so, that any President ever said so, that any member of Congress ever said so, or that any living man upon the whole earth ever said so, until the necessities of the present policy of [[Democratic Party (United States)|the Democratic Party]], in regard to [[slavery]], had to invent that affirmation.]]

* Now, it happens that we meet together once every year, sometimes about the fourth of July, for some reason or other. These [[Independence Day (United States)|fourth of July]] gatherings I suppose have their uses. … We are now a mighty nation; we are thirty, or about thirty, millions of people, and we own and inhabit about one-fifteenth part of the dry land of the whole earth. We run our memory back over the pages of history for about eighty-two years, and we discover that we were then a very small people in point of numbers, vastly inferior to what we are now, with a vastly less extent of country, with vastly less of everything we deem desirable among men; we look upon the change as exceedingly advantageous to us and to our posterity, and we fix upon something that happened away back, as in some way or other being connected with this rise of prosperity. '''We find a race of men living in that day whom we claim as our fathers and grandfathers; they were iron men; they fought for the principle that they were contending for; and we understood that by what they then did it has followed that the degree of prosperity which we now enjoy has come to us.''' We hold this annual celebration to remind ourselves of all the good done in this process of time, of how it was done and who did it, and how we are historically connected with it; and we go from these meetings in better humor with ourselves, we feel more attached the one to the other, and more firmly bound to the country we inhabit. In every way we are better men in the age, and race, and country in which we live, for these celebrations. But after we have done all this we have not yet reached the whole. There is something else connected with it. We have besides these, men descended by blood from our ancestors — among us, perhaps half our people, who are not descendants at all of these men; they are men who have come from Europe — German, Irish, French and Scandinavian — men that have come from Europe themselves, or whose ancestors have come hither and settled here, finding themselves our equals in all things. If they look back through this history to trace their connection with those days by blood, they find they have none, they cannot carry themselves back into that glorious epoch and make themselves feel that they are part of us, but when they look through that old Declaration of Independence, they find that those old men say that &quot;We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal&quot; and then they feel that that moral sentiment taught in that day evidences their relation to those men, that it is the father of all moral principle in them, and that they have a right to claim it as though they were blood of the blood, and flesh of the flesh, of the men who wrote [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]]; and so they are. '''That is the electric cord in [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]] that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world.'''
** Speech in Reply to Senator [[Stephen Douglas]] in the [http://www.bartleby.com/251/1003.html Lincoln-Douglas debates] of the 1858 campaign for the U.S. Senate, at Chicago, Illinois (10 July 1858)

* Those arguments that are made, '''that the inferior race are to be treated with as much allowance as they are capable of enjoying'''; that as much is to be done for them as their condition will allow. What are these arguments? They are the arguments that kings have made for enslaving the people in all ages of the world. '''You will find that all the arguments in favor of king-craft were of this class; they always bestrode the necks of the people, not that they wanted to do it, but because the people were better off for being ridden. That is their argument, and this argument of the Judge is the same old serpent that says you work and I eat, you toil and I will enjoy the fruits of it.''' Turn in whatever way you will, whether it come from the mouth of a King, an excuse for enslaving the people of this country, or from the mouth of men of one race as a reason for enslaving the men of another race, it is all the same old serpent, and I hold if that course of argumentation that is made for the purpose of convincing the public mind that we should not care about this, should be granted, it does not stop with the negro. '''I should like to know if, taking this old Declaration of Independence, which declares that all men are equal upon principle, and making exceptions to it, where will it stop? If one man says it does not mean a negro, why not another say it does not mean some other man? If that [[w:All men are created equal|declaration]] is not the truth, let us get the [[United States Declaration of Independence|Statute book, in which we find it]], and tear it out! Who is so bold as to do it? If it is not true let us tear it out!''' [Cries of &quot;No, No.&quot;] Let us stick to it, then; let us stand firmly by it, then. It may be argued that there are certain conditions that make necessities and impose them upon us, and to the extent that a necessity is imposed upon a man, he must submit to it. I think that was the condition in which we found ourselves when we established this Government. We had slavery among us, we could not get our Constitution unless we permitted them to remain in slavery, we could not secure the good we did secure if we grasped for more; and having by necessity submitted to that much, it does not destroy the principle that is the charter of our liberties. Let that charter stand as our standard.
** Speech in reply to Senator [[Stephen Douglas]] in the [http://www.bartleby.com/251/1003.html Lincoln-Douglas debates] of the 1858 campaign for the U.S. Senate, at Chicago, Illinois (10 July 1858)

* My friend has said to me that I am a poor hand to quote Scripture. I will try it again, however. It is said in one of the admonitions of [[Jesus|our Lord]], &quot;As your Father in Heaven is perfect, be ye also perfect.&quot; The Saviour, I suppose, did not expect that any human creature could be perfect as the Father in Heaven; but He said, &quot;As your Father in Heaven is perfect, be ye also perfect.&quot; He set that up as a standard; and he who did most toward reaching that standard, attained the highest degree of moral perfection. '''So I say in relation to the principle that all men are created equal, let it be as nearly reached as we can. If we cannot give freedom to every creature, let us do nothing that will impose slavery upon any other creature.''' Let us then turn this Government back into the channel in which the framers of the Constitution originally placed it. Let us stand firmly by each other. If we do not do so we are turning in the contrary direction, that our friend Judge Douglas proposes — not intentionally — as working in the traces tend to make this one universal slave nation. He is one that runs in that direction, and as such I resist him. My friends, I have detained you about as long as I desired to do, and I have only to say, '''let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man; this race and that race and the other race being inferior, and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position; discarding our standard that we have left us. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land, until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal.''' My friends, I could not, without launching off upon some new topic, which would detain you too long, continue to-night. I thank you for this most extensive audience that you have furnished me to-night. '''I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal.'''
** Speech in reply to Senator [[Stephen Douglas]] in the [http://www.bartleby.com/251/1003.html Lincoln-Douglas debates] of the 1858 campaign for the U.S. Senate, at Chicago, Illinois (10 July 1858)

* '''I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the states where it exists. I believe I have no lawful right to do so, and I have no inclination to do so.'''
** First Debate with [[Stephen Douglas]] in the [http://www.bartleby.com/251/ Lincoln-Douglas debates] of the 1858 campaign for the U.S. Senate, at Ottawa, Illinois (21 August 1858). Lincoln later quoted himself and [[Abraham Lincoln#First_Inaugural_Address_(1861)|repeated this statement in his first Inaugural Address (4 March 1861)]] to emphasize that any acts of secession were over-reactions to his election. During the war which followed his election he eventually declared the [[Emancipation Proclamation]], freeing the slaves in those states in rebellion against the union, arguably as a war measure rather than as an entirely political or moral initiative.

* '''With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed. Consequently he who moulds public sentiment, goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or pronounces decisions. He makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to be executed. '''
** First debate with Stephen Douglas Ottawa, Illinois (21 August 1858)

* While I was at the hotel to-day, an elderly gentleman called upon me to know whether I was really in favor of producing perfect equality between the negroes and white people. While I had not proposed to myself on this occasion to say much on that subject, yet as the question was asked me, I thought I would occupy perhaps five minutes in saying something in regard to it. I will say then that '''I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality.''' And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race. I say upon this occasion '''I do not perceive that because the white man is to have the superior position the negro should be denied every thing. I do not understand that because I do not want a negro woman for a slave I must necessarily want her for a wife. My understanding is that I can just let her alone. I am now in my fiftieth year, and I certainly never had a black woman for either a slave or a wife. So it seems to me quite possible for us to get along without making either slaves or wives of negroes'''. I will add to this that I have never seen, to my knowledge, a man, woman, or child who was in favor of producing a perfect equality, social and political, between negroes and white men... I have never had the least apprehension that I or my friends would marry negroes if there was no law to keep them from it, but as Judge Douglas and his friends seem to be in great apprehension that they might, if there were no law to keep them from it, I give him the most solemn pledge that I will to the very last stand by the law of this State, which forbids the marrying of white people with negroes.
** Fourth Lincoln-Douglas Debate (Charleston, 18 September 1858)

* The Judge has alluded to the [[United States Declaration of Independence|''Declaration of Independence'']], and insisted that negroes are not included in [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]]; and that it is a slander upon the framers of that instrument, to suppose that negroes were meant therein; and he asks you: Is it possible to believe that [[Thomas Jefferson|Mister Jefferson]], who penned the immortal paper, could have supposed himself applying the language of that instrument to the negro race, and yet held a portion of that race in slavery? Would he not at once have freed them? I only have to remark upon this part of the Judge's speech, and that, too, very briefly, for I shall not detain myself, or you, upon that point for any great length of time, that '''I believe the entire records of the world, from the date of the [[United States Declaration of Independence|''Declaration of Independence'']] up to within three years ago, may be searched in vain for one single affirmation, from one single man, that the negro was not included in the Declaration of Independence; I think I may defy [[Stephen A. Douglas|Judge Douglas]] to show that he ever said so, that [[George Washington|Washington]] ever said so, that any President ever said so, that any member of Congress ever said so, or that any living man upon the whole earth ever said so, until the necessities of the present policy of [[Democratic Party (United States)|the Democratic Party]], in regard to slavery''', had to invent that affirmation. And I will remind Judge Douglas and this audience that while [[Thomas Jefferson|Mister Jefferson]] was the owner of slaves, as undoubtedly he was, in speaking upon this very subject he used the strong language that “he trembled for his country when he remembered that God was just;” and I will offer the highest premium in my power to Judge Douglas if he will show that he, in all his life, ever uttered a sentiment at all akin to that of [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]].
**[http://www.bartleby.com/251/pages/page328.html Fifth Lincoln-Douglas Debate] (7 October 1858), regarding [[Stephen A. Douglas]] and [[Democratic Party (United States)|the antebellum Democratic Party]]'s claim that African Americans were exempt from [[Thomas Jefferson]]'s assertion that all men were created equal.

* {{anchor|pigeon-soup}}Has it not got down as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had starved to death?
** On popular sovereignty; rejoinder in the Sixth Lincoln-Douglas Debate (13 October 1858); reported in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', ed. Roy P. Basler (1953), vol. 3, p. 279

* Now, I have upon all occasions declared as strongly as Judge Douglas against the disposition to interfere with the existing institution of slavery. You hear me read it from the same speech from which he takes garbled extracts for the purpose of proving upon me a disposition to interfere with the institution of slavery, and establish a perfect social and political equality between negroes and white people. Allow me while upon this subject briefly to present one other extract from a speech of mine, more than a year ago, at Springfield, in discussing this very same question, soon after Judge Douglas took his ground that negroes were not included in the Declaration of Independence: '''I think the authors of that notable instrument intended to include all men, but they did not mean to declare all men equal in all respects. They did not mean to say all men were equal in color, size, intellect, moral development, or social capacity. They defined with tolerable distinctness in what they did consider all men created equal — equal in &quot;certain inalienable rights, among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.&quot; This they said, and this they meant.''' They did not mean to assert the obvious untruth that all were then actually enjoying that equality, or yet that they were about to confer it immediately upon them. In fact, they had no power to confer such a boon. They meant simply to declare the right, so that the enforcement of it might follow as fast as circumstances should permit. '''They meant to set up a standard maxim for free society which should be familiar to all, constantly looked to, constantly labored for, and even, though never perfectly attained, constantly approximated, and thereby constantly spreading and deepening its influence, and augmenting the happiness and value of life to all people, of all colors, everywhere'''... That is the real issue. That is the issue that will continue in this country when these poor tongues of Judge Douglas and myself shall be silent. '''It is the eternal struggle between these two principles — right and wrong — throughout the world.''' They are the two principles that have stood face to face from the beginning of time; and will ever continue to struggle. The one is the common right of humanity, and the other the divine right of kings. It is the same principle in whatever shape it develops itself. '''It is the same spirit that says, &quot;You toil and work and earn bread, and I'll eat it.&quot;''' '''No matter in what shape it comes, whether from the mouth of a king who seeks to bestride the people of his own nation and live by the fruit of their labor, or from one race of men as an apology for enslaving another race, it is the same tyrannical principle.'''
** Seventh and Last Joint Debate with Steven Douglas, at Alton, Illinois (15 October 1858)

====Speech at Lewistown, Illinois (1858)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;rgn=div1;view=text;idno=lincoln2;node=lincoln2%3A567 Speech at Lewistown, Illinois (17 August 1858)]&lt;/small&gt;
*The Declaration of Independence was formed by the representatives of American liberty from thirteen States of the confederacy; twelve of which were slaveholding communities. We need not discuss the way or the reason of their becoming slaveholding communities. It is sufficient for our purpose that all of them greatly deplored the evil and that they placed a provision in the Constitution which they supposed would gradually remove the disease by cutting off its source. This was the abolition of the slave trade. So general was conviction, the public determination, to abolish the [[w:African slave trade|African slave trade]], that the provision which I have referred to as being placed in the Constitution, declared that it should not be abolished prior to the year 1808. A constitutional provision was necessary to prevent the people, through Congress, from putting a stop to the traffic immediately at the close of the war. Now, '''if slavery had been a good thing, would the Fathers of the Republic have taken a step calculated to diminish its beneficent influences among themselves, and snatch the boon wholly from their posterity? These communities, by their representatives in old Independence Hall, said to the whole world of men: ''&quot;We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.&quot;'' This was their majestic interpretation of the economy of the Universe. This was their lofty, and wise, and noble understanding of the justice of the Creator to His creatures... Yes, gentlemen, to all His creatures, to the whole great family of man'''. In their enlightened belief, nothing stamped with the Divine image and likeness was sent into the world to be trodden on, and degraded, and imbruted by its fellows. They grasped not only the whole race of man then living, but they reached forward and seized upon the farthest posterity. They erected a beacon to guide their children and their children's children, and the countless myriads who should inhabit the earth in other ages. Wise statesmen as they were, they knew the tendency of prosperity to breed tyrants, and so they established these great self-evident truths, that when in the distant future some man, some faction, some interest, should set up the doctrine that none but rich men, or none but white men, were entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, their posterity might look up again to the Declaration of Independence and take courage to renew the battle which their fathers began, so that truth, and justice, and mercy, and all the humane and Christian virtues might not be extinguished from the land; so that no man would hereafter dare to limit and circumscribe the great principles on which the temple of liberty was being built...

*Now, my countrymen if you have been taught doctrines conflicting with the great landmarks of the ''Declaration of Independence''; if you have listened to suggestions which would take away from its grandeur, and mutilate the fair symmetry of its proportions; if you have been inclined to believe that all men are not created equal in those inalienable rights enumerated by our chart of liberty, let me entreat you to come back. Return to the fountain whose waters spring close by the blood of the Revolution. Think nothing of me, take no thought for the political fate of any man whomsoever; but come back to the truths that are in the Declaration of Independence. You may do anything with me you choose, if you will but heed these sacred principles. You may not only defeat me for the Senate, but you may take me and put me to death. While pretending no indifference to earthly honors, I do claim to be actuated in this contest by something higher than an anxiety for office. I charge you to drop every paltry and insignificant thought for any man's success. It is nothing; I am nothing; Judge Douglas is nothing. But do not destroy that immortal emblem of Humanity; the Declaration of American Independence.

====Letter to Henry L. Pierce (1859)====
:&lt;small&gt;Published in [https://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln3/1:99?rgn=div1;view=fulltext ''Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953). Vol. 3, p. 374-376]&lt;/small&gt;

* The [[Democracy]] of to-day hold the liberty of one man to be absolutely nothing, when in conflict with another man's right of [[property]]. Republicans, on the contrary, are both for the man and the dollar, but, in case of conflict, the man before the dollar. I remember once being much amused at seeing two partially intoxicated men engaged in a fight with their great-coats on, which fight, after a long and rather harmless contest, ended in each having fought himself out of his own coat, and into that of the other. If the two leading parties of this day are really identical with the two in the days of [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]] and [[John Adams|Adams]], they have performed the same feat as the two drunken men.
** p. 375

* '''The principles of [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]] are the definitions and axioms of free society. And yet they are denied and evaded, with no small show of success. One dashingly calls them ”glittering generalities.” Another bluntly calls them “self-evident lies.” And others insidiously argue that they apply to “superior races.” '''These expressions, different in form, are identical in object and effect — the supplanting the principles of free government, and restoring those of classification, caste and legitimacy. They would delight a convocation of crowned heads plotting against the people. They are the vanguard, the miner and sappers, of returning despotism. We must repulse them, or they will subjugate us.'''
** p. 376

* '''This is a world of compensation; and he would be no slave must consent to have no slaves. Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it.'''
** p. 377

==== Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society (1859) ====
:&lt;small&gt;An address given before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society, in Milwaukee, on (30 September 1859) • [[s:Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society|Full text online at Wikisource]]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-116 by Gardner, 1865.png|thumb|Some of you will be successful, and such will need but little philosophy to take them home in cheerful spirits; others will be disappointed, and will be in a less happy mood. To such, let it be said, “Lay it not too much to heart.” Let them adopt the maxim, “Better luck next time”; and then, by renewed exertion, make that better luck for themselves.]]
[[File:Præsident Lincoln.djvu|thumb|I know of nothing so pleasant to the mind, as the discovery of anything which is at once new and valuable — nothing which so lightens and sweetens toil, as the hopeful pursuit of such discovery.]]
[[File:President Abraham Lincoln and Tad Lincoln - NARA - 526284.tif|thumb|A capacity, and taste, for reading, gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. It is the key, or one of the keys, to the already solved problems. And not only so. It gives a relish, and facility, for successfully pursuing the [yet] unsolved ones.]]

*If any continue through life in the condition of the hired laborer, it is not the fault of the system, but because of either a dependent nature which prefers it, or improvidence, folly, or singular misfortune.

* '''Some of you will be successful, and such will need but little philosophy to take them home in cheerful spirits; others will be disappointed, and will be in a less happy mood. To such, let it be said, “Lay it not too much to heart.” Let them adopt the maxim, “Better luck next time”; and then, by renewed exertion, make that better luck for themselves.'''

* From the first appearance of man upon the earth, down to very recent times, the words &quot;stranger&quot; and &quot;enemy&quot; were quite or almost, synonymous. Long after civilized nations had defined robbery and murder as high crimes, and had affixed severe punishments to them, when practiced among and upon their own people respectively, it was deemed no offence, but even meritorious, to rob, and murder, and enslave strangers, whether as nations or as individuals. Even yet, this has not totally disappeared. The man of the highest moral cultivation, in spite of all which abstract principle can do, likes him whom he does know, much better than him whom he does not know. To correct the evils, great and small, which spring from want of sympathy, and from positive enmity, among strangers, as nations, or as individuals, is one of the highest functions of civilization.

* '''Every man is proud of what he does ''well''; and no man is proud of what he does ''not'' do well. With the former, his heart is in his work; and he will do twice as much of it with less fatigue. The latter performs a little imperfectly, looks at it in disgust, turns from it, and imagines himself exceedingly tired. The little he has done, comes to nothing, for want of finishing.'''

* The ambition for broad acres leads to poor [[Agriculture|farming]], even with men of energy. I scarcely ever knew a mammoth farm to sustain itself; much less to return a profit upon the outlay. I have more than once known a man to spend a respectable fortune upon one; fail and leave it; and then some man of more modest aims, get a small fraction of the ground, and make a good living upon it. Mammoth farms are like tools or weapons, which are too heavy to be handled. Ere long they are thrown aside, at a great loss.

* The world is agreed that labor is the source from which human wants are mainly supplied. There is no dispute upon this point. From this point, however, men immediately diverge. Much disputation is maintained as to the best way of applying and controlling the labor element. By some it is assumed that labor is available only in connection with capital — that nobody labors, unless somebody else, owning capital, somehow, by the use of that capital, induces him to do it. Having assumed this, they proceed to consider whether it is best that capital shall hire laborers, and thus induce them to work by their own consent; or buy them, and drive them to it without their consent. Having proceeded so far they naturally conclude that all laborers are necessarily either hired laborers, or slaves. They further assume that whoever is once a hired laborer, is fatally fixed in that condition for life; and thence again that his condition is as bad as, or worse than that of a slave. This is the &quot;mud-sill&quot; theory. … By the &quot;mud-sill&quot; theory it is assumed that labor and education are incompatible; and any practical combination of them impossible. According to that theory, a blind horse upon a tread-mill, is a perfect illustration of what a laborer should be — all the better for being blind, that he could not tread out of place, or kick understandingly. According to that theory, the education of laborers, is not only useless, but pernicious, and dangerous. In fact, it is, in some sort, deemed a misfortune that laborers should have heads at all.

* The old general rule was that ''educated'' people did not perform manual labor. They managed to eat their bread, leaving the toil of producing it to the uneducated. This was not an insupportable evil to the working bees, so long as the class of drones remained very small. But ''now'', especially in these free States, nearly all are educated — quite too nearly all, to leave the labor of the uneducated, in any wise adequate to the support of the whole. It follows from this that henceforth educated people must labor. Otherwise, education itself would become a positive and intolerable evil. '''No country can sustain, in idleness, more than a small percentage of its numbers. The great majority must labor at something productive.'''

* I suppose, however, I shall not be mistaken, in assuming as a fact, that the people of Wisconsin prefer free labor, with its natural companion, education. This leads to the further reflection, that no other human occupation opens so wide a field for the profitable and agreeable combination of labor with cultivated thought, as agriculture. '''I know of nothing so pleasant to the mind, as the discovery of anything which is at once ''new'' and ''valuable'' — nothing which so lightens and sweetens toil, as the hopeful pursuit of such discovery.''' And how vast, and how varied a field is agriculture, for such discovery. The mind, already trained to thought, in the country school, or higher school, cannot fail to find there an exhaustless source of profitable enjoyment.

* '''Every blade of grass is a study; and to produce two, where there was but one, is both a profit and a pleasure.'''

* '''A capacity, and taste, for reading, gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. It is the key, or one of the keys, to the already solved problems. And not only so. It gives a relish, and facility, for successfully pursuing the [yet] unsolved ones.'''

* It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: &quot;[[w:This too shall pass|And this, too, shall pass away]].&quot; How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!

====Autobiographical Sketch Written for [[w:Jesse W. Fell|Jesse W. Fell]] (1859) ====
:&lt;small&gt;Written on December 20, 1859; as published in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ISg9AAAAYAAJ The Autobiography of Abraham Lincoln]'' (1905) pp. 31-36.&lt;/small&gt;

* ''My dear Sir'': Herewith is a little sketch, as you requested. There is not much of it, for the reason, I suppose, that there is not much of me. If anything be made out of it, I wish it to be modest, and not to go beyond the material. If it were thought necessary to incorporate anything from any of my speeches, I suppose there would be no objection. Of course it must not appear to have been written by myself.&lt;!--p.31--&gt;

* My parents were both born in Virginia of undistinguished families... '''My mother, who died in my tenth year, was of a family of the name of Hanks'''...&lt;!--p.32--&gt;

* '''My paternal grandfather, Abraham Lincoln''', emigrated from [[w:Rockingham County, Virginia|Rockingham County, Virginia]], to Kentucky about 1781 or 1782, where a year or two later he '''was killed by the Indians''', not in battle, but by stealth, '''when he was laboring to open a farm in the forest. His ancestors''', who '''were [[Quaker|Quakers]]''', went to Virginia from [[w:Berks County, Pennsylvania|Berks County, Pennsylvania]].&lt;!--p.32--&gt;

* '''My father, at the death of his father, was but six years of age, and he grew up literally without education. He removed from Kentucky to what is now Spencer County, Indiana, in my eighth year.''' We reached our new home about the time the State came into the Union. '''It was a wild region, with many bears and other wild animals still in the woods. There I grew up.'''&lt;!--p.33--&gt;

* '''There were some schools, so called, but no qualification was ever required of a teacher beyond &quot;readin', writin', and cipherin' &quot; to the [[w:Cross-multiplication#Rule of Three|rule of three]]. If a straggler supposed to understand Latin happened to sojourn in the neighborhood, he was looked upon as a wizard. There was absolutely nothing to excite ambition for education. Of course, when I came of age I did not know much.''' Still, somehow, I could read, write, and cipher to the rule of three, but that was all. I have not been to school since. '''The little advance I now have upon this store of education, I have picked up from time to time under the pressure of necessity.'''&lt;!--pp.33-34--&gt;

* I was raised to farm work, which I continued till I was twenty-two. At twenty-one I came to Illinois, [[w:Macon County, Illinois|Macon County]]. Then I got to [[w:New Salem, Illinois|New Salem]], at that time in [[w:Sangamon County, Illinois|Sangamon]], now in [[w:Menard County, Illinois|Menard County]], where I remained a year as a sort of clerk in a store.&lt;!--p.34--&gt;

* '''Then came the [[w:Black Hawk War|Black Hawk war]]; and I was elected a captain of volunteers, a success which gave me more pleasure than any I have had since. I went the campaign, was elated, ran for the legislature the same year (1832), and was beaten — the only time I ever have been beaten by the people.''' The next and three succeeding biennial elections I was elected to the [[w:Illinois House of Representatives|legislature]]. I was not a candidate afterwards. During this legislative period I had studied law, and removed to Springfield to practice it.&lt;!--pp.34-35--&gt;

* In 1846 I was once elected to the lower House of [[United States Congress|Congress]]. Was not a candidate for reëlection. From 1849 to 1854, both inclusive, practiced law more assiduously than ever before. Always a [[w:Whig Party (United States)|Whig]] in politics; and generally on the Whig electoral tickets making active canvasses. '''I was losing interest in politics when the repeal of the {{w|Missouri Compromise}} aroused me again. What I have done since then is pretty well known.'''&lt;!--pp.35-36--&gt;

* If any personal description of me is thought desirable, it may be said I am, in height, six feet four inches, nearly; lean in flesh, weighing on an average one hundred and eighty pounds; dark complexion, with coarse black hair and gray eyes. '''No other marks or brands recollected.'''&lt;!--p.36--&gt;

=== 1860s ===
[[File:Lincoln by George H Story c1915.jpg|thumb|I know not how to aid you, save in the assurance of one of mature age, and much severe experience, that you ''can'' not fail, if you resolutely determine, that you ''will'' not.]]&lt;!-- 22 July 1860 --&gt;
[[File:Brooklyn Museum - Abraham Lincoln - overall.jpg|thumb|Beware of rashness, but with energy and sleepless vigilance go forward and give us victories.]]&lt;!-- 26 January 1863 --&gt;
[[File:Horses are drinking from Stary Ivanchug River, Astrakhan Oblast, Russia 2018 April 30 (2451).jpg|thumb|It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.]]&lt;!-- 9 June 1862 --&gt;
[[File:Great Meeting Union Square.jpg|thumb|I appeal to all loyal citizens to favor, facilitate and aid this effort to maintain the honor, the integrity, and the existence of our National Union, and the perpetuity of popular government.]]&lt;!-- 15 April 1861 --&gt;
[[File:Confederate Navy Jack (light blue).svg|thumb|The [[Confederate States of America|Confederacy]] stands for [[slavery]] and [[United States|the Union]] for freedom.]]&lt;!-- January 1862 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by Alexander Helser, 1860-crop.jpg|thumb| The severest justice may not always be the best policy.]]&lt;!-- 17 July 1862 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-42 by Christopher German, 1861.jpg|thumb|I shall try to correct [[errors]] when shown to be errors; and I shall adopt new views so fast as they shall appear to be true views.]]&lt;!-- 22 August 1862 --&gt;
&lt;!-- [[File:Rippl_Sorrow.jpg |thumb|In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. …]] a generally thematic image commented out here to reduce image-overcrowding in this section // quote of 23 December 1862--&gt;
&lt;!-- This image is used elsewhere on the page [[File:PinkertonLincolnMcClernand.jpg|thumb|Only those generals who gain successes, can set up dictators.]] //caption : 26 January 1863--&gt;
[[File:Cicatrices de flagellation sur un esclave.jpg|thumb|If any should be slaves, it should be first those who desire it for themselves, and secondly, those who desire it for others.]]&lt;!-- 14 July 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Freeport Il Lincoln the Debater1.JPG|thumb| When I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.]]&lt;!-- 14 July 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham_Lincoln_President,_United_States,_and_Cabinet_-_NARA_-_528323.tif|thumb|This government cannot much longer play a game in which it stakes all, and its enemies stake nothing.]]
[[File:John Chester Buttre01.jpg|thumb|[[Truth]] is generally the best vindication against slander.]]&lt;!-- 14 July 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Ulysses S. Grant from West Point to Appomattox.jpg|thumb|I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.]] &lt;!-- September 18, 1863 --&gt;
[[File:God the Father with His Right Hand Raised in Blessing.jpg|thumb|The purposes of the Almighty are perfect, and must prevail, though we erring mortals may fail to accurately perceive them in advance.]]&lt;!-- 4 September 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Lincoln inaugural bible 2.jpg|thumb|In regard to this Great Book, I have but to say, it is the best gift God has given to man. All the good the Saviour gave to the world was communicated through this book.]]&lt;!-- 8 September 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by Boston Public Library.jpg|thumb|I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.]]&lt;!-- 30 September 1864 --&gt;
[[File:Punchbowl (1238).JPG|thumb|...the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.]]&lt;!-- 21 November 1864 --&gt;

* &quot;More rogues than honest men find shelter under [[w:Habeas corpus in the United States|habeas corpus]]&quot;
* I have scarcely felt greater pain in my life than on learning yesterday from Bob's letter, that you had failed to enter [[Harvard University]]. And yet there is very little in it, if you will allow no feeling of ''discouragement'' to seize, and prey upon you. It is a ''certain'' truth, that you ''can'' enter, and graduate in, Harvard University; and having made the attempt, you ''must'' succeed in it. ``''Must''´´ is the word. '''I know not how to aid you, save in the assurance of one of mature age, and much severe experience, that you ''can'' not fail, if you resolutely determine, that you ''will'' not.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:108?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Letter to George C. Latham (22 July 1860)]; published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 4&lt;!-- New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press --&gt;

* I thank you, in common with all others, who have thought fit, by their votes, to indorse the Republican cause. I rejoice with you in the success which has, so far, attended that cause. Yet in all our rejoicing '''let us neither express, nor cherish, any harsh feeling towards any citizen who, by his vote, has differed with us. Let us at all times remember that all American citizens are brothers of a common country, and should dwell together in the bonds of fraternal feeling.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:214?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Remarks at Springfield, Illinois (20 November 1860)]; published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 142

* I think very much of the people, as an old friend said he thought of woman. He said when he lost his first wife, who had been a great help to him in his business, he thought he was ruined — that he could never find another to fill her place. At length, however, he married another, who he found did quite as well as the first, and that his opinion now was that any woman would do well who was well done by. So I think of the whole people of this nation — they will ever do well if well done by. We will try to do well by them in all parts of the country, North and South, with entire confidence that all will be well with all of us.
** Remarks at Bloomington, Illinois (21 November 1860); published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 143

* All this is not the result of accident. It has a philosophical cause. Without the ''Constitution'' and the ''Union'', we could not have attained the result; but even these, are not the primary cause of our great prosperity. There is something back of these, entwining itself more closely about the human heart. That something, is '''the principle of &quot;Liberty to all&quot;''' — the principle that '''clears the ''path'' for all — gives ''hope'' to all — and, by consequence, ''enterprize'', and ''industry'' to all.''' The ''expression'' of that principle, in our Declaration of Independence, was most happy, and fortunate. ''Without'' this, as well as ''with'' it, we could have declared our independence of Great Britain; but ''without'' it, we could not, I think, have secured our free government, and consequent prosperity. '''No oppressed, people will ''fight'', and ''endure'',''' as our fathers did, '''without the promise of something better, than a mere change of masters.''' The assertion of that ''principle'', at that time, was the word, &quot;''fitly spoken''&quot; which has proved an &quot;apple of gold&quot; to us. The ''Union'', and the ''Constitution'', are the picture of silver, subsequently framed around it. The picture was made, not to ''conceal'', or ''destroy'' the apple; but to ''adorn'', and ''preserve'' it. The ''picture'' was made ''for'' the apple — ''not'' the apple for the picture. So let us act, that neither ''picture'', or ''apple'' shall ever be blurred, or bruised or broken. That we may so act, we must study, and understand the points of danger.
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:264?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Fragment on the Constitution and the Union] (c. January, 1861); published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 168

* &lt;!-- Your kind letter of the 25th ult., and the express package containing the bronze medal of --&gt;[[Henry Clay|Mr. Clay]], &lt;!-- both came safely to hand this morning. Permit me, in the first place, to return you my heartfelt thanks for your goodness in sending me this valuable present; and secondly, to express the extreme gratification I feel in possessing so beautiful a memento of him whom, --&gt; during my whole political life, I have loved and revered as a teacher and leader.
** Letter to Daniel Ullmann (1 February 1861); quoted in [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/j/jala/2629860.0016.105?view=text;rgn=main &quot;Why Abraham Lincoln Was a Whig&quot; by Daniel Walker Howe, ''The Journal of the Abraham Lincoln Association'', Volume 16, Issue 1 (Winter 1995)]; also in [http://books.google.com/books?id=meYLTCRlHaQC&amp;pg=PA72&amp;lpg=PA72&amp;dq=Lincoln+%22I+have+loved+and+revered%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=A-QLTNlkSN&amp;sig=F0MdGo6rkAVKc3tIQSs0Xp4AdSY&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=fmpQUv22LpCi4APhj4HoDQ&amp;ved=0CC8Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=Lincoln%20%22I%20have%20loved%20and%20revered%22&amp;f=false ''We Have the War Upon Us: The Onset of the Civil War, November 1860-April 1861'' (2013) by William J. Cooper, p. 72]&lt;!-- Random House LLC, Jun 4, 2013 --&gt;

* While I do not expect, upon this occasion, or on any occasion, till after I get to Washington, to attempt any lengthy speech, I will only say that to '''the salvation of this Union''' there '''needs but one single thing — the hearts of a people like yours. When the people rise in masses in behalf of the Union and the liberties of their country, truly may it be said, [[s:Bible (King James)/Matthew#16:18|&quot;the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.&quot;]]''' In all the trying positions in which I shall be placed, and doubtless I shall be placed in many trying ones, my reliance will be placed upon you and the people of the United States — and''' I wish you to remember now and forever, that it is your business, and not mine; that if the union of these States, and the liberties of this people, shall be lost, it is but little to any one man of fifty-two years of age, but a great deal to the''' thirty '''millions of people who inhabit these United States, and to their posterity in all coming time. It is your business to rise up and preserve the Union and liberty, for yourselves, and not for me.''' I desire they shall be constitutionally preserved. I, as already intimated, am but an accidental instrument, temporary, and to serve but for a limited time, but I appeal to you again to constantly bear in mind that '''with you, and not with politicians, not with Presidents, not with office-seekers, but with you, is the question, ``Shall the Union and shall the liberties of this country be preserved to the latest generation?`` '''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:312?rgn=div1;singlegenre=All;sort=occur;subview=detail;type=simple;view=fulltext;q1=shall+the+union+and+shall+the+liberties Reply to Oliver P. Morton at Indianapolis, Indiana] (February 11, 1861); published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 202, p. 193-194

* I agree with you, Mr. Chairman, that the '''working men are the basis of all governments, for the plain reason that they are the most numerous''', and as you added that those were the sentiments of the gentlemen present, representing not only the working class, but citizens of other callings than those of the mechanic, I am happy to concur with you in these sentiments, not only of the native born citizens, but also of the Germans and foreigners from other countries. Mr. Chairman, I hold that '''while man exists, it is his duty to improve not only his own condition, but to assist in ameliorating mankind'''; and therefore, without entering upon the details of the question, I will simply say, that '''I am for those means which will give the greatest good to the greatest number.'''
** Speech to Germans at Cincinnati, Ohio (February 12, 1861); published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 202&lt;!-- New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press --&gt;
** The phrase &quot;I am for those means which will give the greatest good to the greatest number.&quot; is allusion to British jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer [[Jeremy Bentham]] who wrote in his &quot;Extracts from Bentham's Commonplace Book&quot;, in Collected Works, x, p. 142: &quot;[[Joseph Priestley|Priestley]] was the first (unless it was [[w:Cesare Beccaria|Beccaria]]) who taught my lips to pronounce this sacred truth — that '''the greatest happiness of the greatest number is the foundation of morals and legislation.'''&quot;

* I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot.
** Remarks at the Monogahela House (14 February 1861); as published in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 4, p. 209

* '''I appeal to all loyal citizens to favor, facilitate and aid this effort to maintain the honor, the integrity, and the existence of our National Union, and the perpetuity of popular government; and to redress wrongs already long enough endured.'''
** [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/proc-1.htm Proclamation Calling Militia and Convening Congress on (15 April 1861)]

* And whereas '''it is fit and becoming in all people, at all times''', to acknowledge and revere the Supreme Government of God; to bow in humble submission to his chastisements; '''to confess and deplore their sins and transgressions in the full conviction that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; and to pray, with all fervency and contrition, for the pardon of their past offences, and for a blessing upon their present and prospective action'''... And whereas, when our own beloved Country, once, by the blessing of God, united, prosperous and happy, is now afflicted with faction and civil war, '''it is peculiarly fit for us''' to recognize the hand of God in this terrible visitation, and in sorrowful remembrance of our own faults and crimes as a nation and as individuals, to humble ourselves before Him, and to pray for His mercy, — '''to pray that we may be spared further punishment, though most justly deserved; that our arms may be blessed and made effectual for the re-establishment of law, order and peace, throughout the wide extent of our country; and that the inestimable boon of civil and religious liberty''', earned under His guidance and blessing, '''by the labors and sufferings of our fathers, may be restored in all its original excellence''': — 
** [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/proc-3.htm Abraham Lincoln: Proclamation of a Day of Fasting (12 August 1861)]

* Therefore, '''I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, do appoint the last Thursday in September next, as a day of humiliation, prayer and fasting for all the people of the nation. And I do earnestly recommend to all the People, and especially to all ministers and teachers of religion of all denominations, and to all heads of families, to observe and keep that day according to their several creeds and modes of worship, in all humility and with all religious solemnity, to the end that the united prayer of the nation may ascend to the Throne of Grace and bring down plentiful blessings upon our Country.'''
** [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/proc-3.htm Abraham Lincoln: Proclamation of a Day of Fasting (12 August 1861)]

* I think to lose Kentucky is nearly the same as to lose the whole game. Kentucky gone, we can not hold Missouri, nor, as I think, [[Maryland]].
** Letter to [[w:Orville Hickman Browning|Orville Hickman Browning]] (22 September 1861)

*The [[Confederate States of America|Confederacy]] stands for [[slavery]] and [[United States|the Union]] for freedom.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=cpLsLWYhMLoC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=%22not+a+man+shall+be+a+slave%22+%22Mcpherson%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC0Q6AEwAzgKahUKEwjiwOnYqoLIAhUIez4KHaTnDok#v=onepage&amp;q=slavery&amp;f=false Private conversation] (January 1862)

* '''The severest justice may not always be the best policy.'''
** Veto message, eventually not executed, written as a response to the [[w:Confiscation Acts|Second Confiscation Act]] passed by Congress. (17 July 1862)
** ''The Emancipation Proclamation'', by John Hope Franklin, Doubleday Anchor Books, New York, NY, 1963, p. 19

* I am a patient man — always willing to forgive on the Christian terms of repentance; and also to give ample time for repentance. Still I must save this government if possible.
** Letter to {{w|Reverdy Johnson}} (26 July 1862)

* '''Broken eggs cannot be mended'''; but Louisiana has nothing to do now but to take her place in the Union as it was, barring the already broken eggs. The sooner she does so, the smaller will be the amount of that which will be past mending. '''This government cannot much longer play a game in which it stakes all, and its enemies stake nothing. Those enemies must understand that they cannot experiment for ten years trying to destroy the government, and if they fail still come back into the Union unhurt.'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln5/1:762?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Letter to August Belmont (31 July 1832)] in &quot;The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln&quot; edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, p. 350-351

* You and I are different races. We have between us a broader difference than exists between almost any other races. Whether it be right or wrong, I need not discuss; but this physical difference is a great disadvantage to us both, as I think. Your race suffer very greatly, many of them by living amongst us, while ours suffer from your presence. In a word, we suffer on each side. If this is admitted, it affords a reason at least why we should be separated.
** Statement to the Deputation of Free Negroes (14 August 1862), in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', edited by Roy P. Baler, Rutgers University Press, 1953, Vol. V, p. 371

* May our children and our children's children to a thousand generations, continue to enjoy the benefits conferred upon us by a united country, and have cause yet to rejoice under those glorious institutions bequeathed us by Washington and his compeers.
** Second Speech at Frederick, Maryland (4 October 1862)

* '''In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares.''' The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. '''Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better.''' Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. '''You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once.'''
** Letter to Fanny McCullough (23 December 1862); ''Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'', edited by Roy P. Basler

* I have heard, in such way as to believe it, of your recently saying that both the [[United States Armed Forces|Army]] and the [[Federal government of the United States|Government]] needed a Dictator. Of course it was not for this, but in spite of it, that I have given you the command. '''Only those generals who gain successes, can set up [[Dictatorship|dictators]].''' What I now ask of you is military success, and I will risk the dictatorship. The government will support you to the utmost of its ability, which is neither more nor less than it has done and will do for all commanders. I much fear that the spirit which you have aided to infuse into the Army, of criticizing their Commander, and withholding confidence from him, will now turn upon you. I shall assist you as far as I can, to put it down. Neither you, nor [[Napoleon]], if he were alive again, could get any good out of an army, while such a spirit prevails in it.
** [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/lett-4.htm Letter to Major General] [[w:Joseph Hooker|Joseph Hooker]] (26 January 1863)

* '''Beware of rashness, but with energy and sleepless vigilance go forward and give us victories.'''
** [http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/lett-4.htm Letter to Major General] [[w:Joseph Hooker|Joseph Hooker]] (26 January 1863)

* We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!
** Upon proclaiming a National Fast Day (30 March 1863)

* The man who stands by and says nothing, when the peril of his government is discussed, can not be misunderstood. If not hindered, he is sure to help the enemy.
** [https://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln6/1:569?rgn=div1;view=fulltextLetter to Erastus Corning and Others] (12 June 1863) in &quot;The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol.6&quot; (The Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953), p. 265

* Long experience has shown that armies can not be maintained unless [[w:Desertion|desertion]] shall be punished by the severe penalty of death. The case requires, and the law and the constitution, sanction this punishment. '''Must I shoot a simple-minded soldier boy who deserts, while I must not touch a hair of a wiley agitator who induces him to desert? This is none the less injurious when effected by getting a father, or brother, or friend, into a public meeting, and there working upon his feeling, till he is persuaded to write the soldier boy, that he is fighting in a bad cause, for a wicked administration of a contemptable government, too weak to arrest and punish him if he shall desert. I think that in such a case, to silence the agitator, and save the boy, is not only constitutional, but, withal, a great mercy.'''
** [https://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln6/1:569?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Letter to Erastus Corning and Others] (12 June 1863) in &quot;The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 6&quot; (The Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953), p. 266

* I do not remember that you and I ever met personally. I write this now as a grateful acknowledgment for the almost inestimable service you have done the country. I wish to say a word further. When you first reached the vicinity of Vicksburg, I thought you should do, what you finally did, march the troops across the neck, run the batteries with the transports, and thus go below; and I never had any faith, except a general hope that you knew better than I, that the Yazoo Pass expedition, and the like, could succeed. When you got below, and took Port-Gibson, Grand Gulf, and vicinity, I thought you should go down the river and join General Banks; and when you turned Northward East of the Big Black, I feared it was a mistake. I now wish to make the personal acknowledgment that you were right, and I was wrong.
** [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/grant.htm Letter to Ulysses S. Grant] (13 July 1863), Washington, D.C.

* '''It is the duty of every government to give protection to its citizens, of whatever class, color, or condition, and especially to those who are duly organized as soldiers in the public service. The [[International law|law of nations]] and the usages and customs of war as carried on by civilized powers, permit no distinction as to color in the treatment of [[w:Prisoners of war|prisoners of war]] as public enemies. To sell or enslave any captured person, on account of his color, and for no offence against the laws of war, is a relapse into barbarism and a crime against the civilization of the age.''' The government of the United States will give the same protection to all its soldiers, and '''if the enemy shall sell or enslave anyone because of his color, the offense shall be punished by retaliation upon the enemy's prisoners in our possession. It is therefore ordered that for every soldier of the United States killed in violation of the [[w:Laws of war|laws of war]], a rebel soldier shall be executed; and for every one enslaved by the enemy or sold into slavery, a rebel soldier shall be placed at hard labor on the public works and continued at such labor until the other shall be released and receive the treatment due to a prisoner of war'''
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln6/1:755?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Order of Retaliation] (30 July 1863); quoted in Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 7'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 357

*Sir; You are directed to have a transport.. sent to the colored colony of San Domingo to bring back to this country such of the colonists there as desire to return.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=uEc_cG58dZQC&amp;pg=PA19 Orders to the Secretary of War] (1 February 1864)

* The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty, and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. '''We all declare for liberty; but in using the same ''word'' we do not all mean the same ''thing''.''' With some the word liberty may mean for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and the product of his labor; while with others, the same word may mean for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men's labor. Here are two, not only different, but incompatible things, called by the same name — liberty. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatible names — liberty and tyranny.
** [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=88871 Address in Baltimore, Maryland] (18 April 1864)

* None are so deeply interested to resist the present rebellion as the working people. Let them beware of prejudice, working division and hostility among themselves. The most notable feature of a disturbance in your city last summer, was the hanging of some working people by other working people. It should never be so. '''The strongest bond of human sympathy, outside of the family relation, should be one uniting all working people, of all nations, and tongues, and kindreds.''' Nor should this lead to a war upon property, or the owners of property. '''Property is the fruit of labor — property is desirable — is a positive good in the world. That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.
** Reply to New York Workingmen's Democratic Republican Association (21 March 1864), ''Collected Works'', Vol. 7, p. 259-260 [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln7/1:566?rgn=div1;singlegenre=All;sort=occur;subview=detail;type=simple;view=fulltext;q1=houseless 1:566]

* I have not permitted myself, gentlemen, to conclude that I am the best man in the country; but I am reminded, in this connection, of a story of an old [[Dutch people|Dutch]] farmer, who remarked to a companion once that '''it was not best to swap horses when crossing streams'''.
** Reply to delegation from the National Union League approving and endorsing &quot;the nominations made by the Union National Convention at Baltimore.&quot; New York Times, Herald, and Tribune (10 June 1864) [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;rgn=div1;view=text;idno=lincoln7;node=lincoln7%3A852 Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln. Volume 7]
** Variant: I do not allow myself to suppose that either the convention or the League, have concluded to decide that I am either the greatest or the best man in America, but rather they have concluded '''it is not best to swap horses while crossing the river''', and have further concluded that I am not so poor a horse that they might not make a botch of it in trying to swap.
*** To a delegation of the National Union League who congratulated him on his nomination as the Republican candidate for President, June 9, 1864. As given by J. F. Rhodes—Hist. of the U. S. from the Compromise of 1850, Volume IV, p. 370. Same in Nicolay and Hay Lincoln's Complete Works, Volume II, p. 532. Different version in Appleton's Cyclopedia. Raymond—Life and Public Services of Abraham Lincoln, Chapter XVIII, p. 500. (Ed. 1865) says Lincoln quotes an old Dutch farmer, &quot;It was best not to swap horses when crossing a stream&quot;.

* I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.
** Likely spurious quote, UNVERIFIED ATTRIBUTE - Quoted in ''The Lexington Observer &amp; Reporter'' (16 June 1864) 

* '''[[Truth]] is generally the best vindication against [[Defamation|slander]].'''
** Letter to [[w:Edwin Stanton|Edwin Stanton]] (14 July 1864); published in ''Abraham Lincoln: A History'' (1890) by John Hay

* I am much indebted to the good [[Christianity|christian]] people of the country for their constant [[Prayer|prayers]] and consolations; and to no one of them, more than to yourself. '''The purposes of the Almighty are perfect, and must prevail, though we erring mortals may fail to accurately perceive them in advance.''' We hoped for a happy termination of this terrible war long before this; but God knows best, and has ruled otherwise. We shall yet acknowledge His wisdom and our own error therein. Meanwhile we must work earnestly in the best light He gives us, trusting that so working still conduces to the great ends He ordains. Surely He intends some great good to follow this mighty convulsion, which no mortal could make, and no mortal could stay.
** [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln7/1:1171?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Letter to Eliza Gurney] (4 September 1864); quoted in Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 7'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 535

* In regard to this Great Book, I have but to say, it is the best gift God has given to man. All the good the Saviour gave to the world was communicated through this book.
** Words on being presented with a Bible, as reported in the Washington ''Daily Morning Chronicle'' (8 September 1864)

* '''I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.'''
** Reply to Missouri Committee of Seventy (30 September 1864)

* When armed rebels come among them their houses and other property are spared while Union men's houses are burned and their property pillaged. Still, we may not be able to specifically prove that the sympathizers protected and supplied the raiders in turn, or designated their Union neighbors for plunder and devastation. Yet we know all this exists, even better than we could know an isolated fact upon the sworn testimony of one or two witnesses; just as we better know there is fire whence we see much smoke rising than we could know it by one or two witnesses swearing to it. '''The witnesses may commit perjury, but the smoke cannot'''.
** Unfinished draft of a letter to J.R. Underwood and Henry Grinder (October 26, 1864), in ''Complete Works of Abraham Lincoln - Volume 10'' (1894), p. 254.

* I earnestly believe that the consequences of this day's work, if it be as you assume, and as now seems probable, will be to the lasting advantage, if not to the very salvation, of the country. I cannot at this hour say what has been the result of the election. But, whatever it may be, I have no desire to modify this opinion: that all who have labored to-day in behalf of the Union have wrought for the best interests of the country and the world; not only for the present, but for all future ages. '''I am thankful to God for this approval of the people; but, while deeply grateful for this mark of their confidence in me, if I know my heart, my gratitude is free from any taint of personal triumph. I do not impugn the motives of any one opposed to me. It is no pleasure to me to triumph over any one, but I give thanks to the Almighty for this evidence of the people's resolution to stand by free government and the rights of humanity.'''
** [http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2659/2659-h/2659-h.htm#2H_4_0271 Response to a Serenade, November 9, 1864] (one day after the [[w:United States presidential election, 1864|United States presidential election of 1864]]; in &quot;The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Seven, Constitutional Edition&quot;, edited by Arthur Brooks Lapsley and released as &quot;The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Seven, by Abraham Lincoln&quot; (2009) by Project Gutenberg

* Dear Madam, I have been shown in the files of the [[w:United States Department of War|War Department]] a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. '''I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.''' Yours, very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln
** Letter to Mrs. Bixby in Boston (21 November 1864); some scholars suggest that John Hay, a secretary of President Lincoln's, actually wrote this letter. The Files of the war department were inaccurate: Mrs. Bixby lost two sons.

* '''In a great national crisis''' like ours '''unanimity of action among those seeking a common end is very desirable — almost indispensable. And yet no approach to such unanimity is attainable unless some deference shall be paid to the will of the majority''' simply because it is the will of the majority.
** [http://www.infoplease.com/t/hist/state-of-the-union/76.html Fourth State of the Union Address] (December 6, 1864)

* It is no fault in others that the [[w:Methodism|Methodist Church]] sends more soldiers to the field, more nurses to the hospital, and more prayers to Heaven than any. God bless the Methodist Church — bless all the churches — and blessed be to God, who, in this our great trial, giveth us the churches.
** To the 1864 general conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church, as quoted in ''Abraham Lincoln : A History'' Vol. 6 (1890) by John George Nicolay and John Hay, Ch. 15, p. 324

* Men are not flattered by being shown that there has been a difference of purpose between the Almighty and them.
** Letter to Thurlow Weed (15 March 1865), reproduced in [[w:Godfrey Rathbone Benson, 1st Baron Charnwood|Lord Charnwood]] (1916), ''Abraham Lincoln: A Biography''

* '''I have always thought that all men should be free; but if any should be slaves, it should be first those who desire it for themselves, and secondly, those who desire it for others. When I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.'''
** Statement to an Indiana Regiment passing through Washington (17 March 1865); ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' Volume VIII

*Stop, [[w:Duff Green|you]] political tramp. You, the aider and abettor of those who have brought all this ruin upon your country, without the courage to risk your person in defense of the principles you profess to espouse! A fellow who stood by to gather up the loaves and fishes, if any should fall to you! A man who had no principles in the North, and took none South with him! A political hyena who robbed the graves of the dead, and adopted their language as his own! You talk of the North cutting the throats of the Southern people. You have all cut your own throats, and, unfortunately, have cut many of those of the North. Miserable impostor, vile intruder! Go, before I forget myself and the high position I hold! Go, I tell you, and don't desecrate this national vessel another minute!
**To [[w:Duff Green|Duff Green]], [http://www.thelincolnlog.org/Results.aspx?type=CalendarDay&amp;day=1865-04-04&amp;r=L0NhbGVuZGFyWWVhci5hc3B4P3llYXI9MTg2NSZyPUwwTmhiR1Z1WkdGeUxtRnpjSGc9 aboard the USS ''Malvern''] (4 April 1865), as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/incidentsanecdot00portiala ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by [[David Dixon Porter]], p. 308

* I propose now closing up by requesting you play a certain piece of music or a tune. I thought &quot;Dixie&quot; one of the best tunes I ever heard... I had heard our adversaries over the way had attempted to appropriate it. I insisted yesterday that we had fairly captured it... I presented the question to the Attorney-General, and he gave his opinion that it is our lawful prize... I ask the Band to give us a good turn upon it.
** At the end of the Civil War, asking that a military band play &quot;[[w:Dixie (song)|Dixie]]&quot; (10 April 1865) as quoted in ''Dan Emmett and the Rise of Early Negro Minstrelsy'' (1962) by Hans Nathan. Variant account: &quot;I have always thought &quot;Dixie&quot; one of the best tunes I have ever heard. Our adversaries over the way attempted to appropriate it, but I insisted yesterday that we fairly captured it... I now request the band to favor me with its performance&quot;.

* Did [[Edwin M. Stanton|Stanton]] say I was a damned fool? Then I dare say I must be one, for Stanton is generally right and he always says what he means.
** As quoted in ''Lincoln; An Account of his Personal Life, Especially of its Springs of Action as Revealed and Deepened by the Ordeal of War'' (1922) by Nathaniel Wright Stephenson.

* When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
** Quoted by [[w:Charles Anderson Dana|Charles A. Dana]] in his book ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=rxpCAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA274&amp;q=elephant 
Recollections of the Civil War]'' (1898)

*In my opinion the [[religion]] that makes men rebel and fight against their government is not the genuine article, nor is the religion the right sort which reconciles them to the idea of [[Slavery|eating their bread in the sweat of other men's faces]]. It is not the kind to get to [[heaven]] on.
**As quoted in [https://archive.org/details/recollectionsab00lamogoog ''Recollections of Abraham Lincoln, 1847-1865''] (1895), by [[w:Ward Hill Lamon|Ward Hill Lamon]], p. 90

*He's the quietest little fellow you ever saw. He makes the least fuss of any man you ever knew. I believe he had been in this room a minute or so before I knew he was here. Grant is the first general I have had. You know how it's been with all the rest. As soon as I put a man in command of the army, they all wanted me to be the general. Now it isn't so with Grant. He hasn't told me what his plans are. I don't know and I don't want to know. I am glad to find a man who can go ahead without me. He doesn't ask impossibilities of me, and he's the first general I've had that didn't.
**About General U.S. Grant, as quoted in [http://www.granthomepage.com/grantgeneral.htm ''The Every-day Life of Abraham Lincoln: A Narrative and Descriptive Biography''], by Francis Fisher Brown, p. 520

==== [[w: Cooper Union speech|Cooper Union speech]] (1860) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[https://archive.is/MOWPe Speech to the Cooper Institute, New York, New York (27 February 1860)] - [[s:Cooper's Union Speech|Full text online at Wikisource]]; similar remarks to many of these were made in later speeches elsewhere. &lt;/small&gt;
&lt;!-- This image is used elsewhere on the page [[File:Scene_at_the_Signing_of_the_Constitution_of_the_United_States.jpg|thumb|I do not mean to say we are bound to follow implicitly in whatever our fathers did. To do so, would be to discard all the lights of current experience — to reject all progress — all improvement. What I do say is, that if we would supplant the opinions and policy of our fathers in any case, we should do so upon evidence so conclusive, and argument so clear, that even their great authority, fairly considered and weighed, cannot stand.]] --&gt;
[[File:Lincoln boyhood memoral5.jpg|thumb|What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried?]]

* '''I do not mean to say we are bound to follow implicitly in whatever our fathers did. To do so, would be to discard all the lights of current experience — to reject all progress — all improvement. What I do say is, that if we would supplant the opinions and policy of our fathers in any case, we should do so upon evidence so conclusive, and argument so clear, that even their great authority, fairly considered and weighed, cannot stand'''; and most surely not in a case whereof we ourselves declare they understood the question better than we.

* Let all who believe that &quot;our fathers, who framed the Government under which we live, understood this question just as well, and even better, than we do now,&quot; speak as they spoke, and act as they acted upon it. This is all Republicans ask — all Republicans desire — in relation to '''slavery. As those fathers marked it, so let it be again marked, as an evil not to be extended''', but to be tolerated and protected only because of and so far as its actual presence among us makes that toleration and protection a necessity. Let all the guarantees those fathers gave it, be, not grudgingly, but fully and fairly, maintained. For this Republicans contend, and with this, so far as I know or believe, they will be content.

* '''You say you are [[conservative]] — eminently conservative — while we are [[revolutionary]], destructive, or something of the sort. What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried?''' We stick to, contend for, the identical old policy on the point in controversy which was adopted by &quot;our fathers who framed the Government under which we live;&quot; while you with one accord reject, and scout, and spit upon that old policy, and insist upon substituting something new. True, you disagree among yourselves as to what that substitute shall be. You are divided on new propositions and plans, but you are unanimous in rejecting and denouncing the old policy of the fathers.

* '''Some of you are for reviving the foreign slave trade; some for a Congressional Slave-Code for the Territories; some for Congress forbidding the Territories to prohibit Slavery within their limits; some for maintaining Slavery in the Territories through the judiciary; some for the &quot;gur-reat pur-rinciple&quot; that &quot;if one man would enslave another, no third man should object,&quot; fantastically called &quot;Popular Sovereignty&quot;; but never a man among you is in favor of federal prohibition of slavery in federal territories, according to the practice of &quot;our fathers who framed the Government under which we live.&quot;''' Not one of all your various plans can show a precedent or an advocate in the century within which our Government originated. Consider, then, whether your claim of conservatism for yourselves, and your charge or destructiveness against us, are based on the most clear and stable foundations.

* '''Human action can be modified to some extent, but human nature cannot be changed. There is a judgment and a feeling against slavery in this nation''', which cast at least a million and a half of votes. You cannot destroy that judgment and feeling — that sentiment — by breaking up the political organization which rallies around it. '''You can scarcely scatter and disperse an army which has been formed into order in the face of your heaviest fire; but if you could, how much would you gain by forcing the sentiment which created it out of the peaceful channel of the ballot-box, into some other channel?'''

* It is exceedingly desirable that all parts of this great Confederacy shall be at peace, and in harmony, one with another. Let us Republicans do our part to have it so. '''Even though much provoked, let us do nothing through passion and ill temper.''' Even though the southern people will not so much as listen to us, let us calmly consider their demands, and yield to [[Democratic Party (United States)|them]] if, in our deliberate view of our duty, we possibly can.

* '''An inspection of the Constitution will show that the right of property in a slave is not &quot;distinctly and expressly affirmed&quot; in it.'''

* '''But you will not abide the election of a Republican president! In that supposed event, you say, you will destroy the Union; and then, you say, the great crime of having destroyed it will be upon us!''' That is cool. '''A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, &quot;Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!&quot; To be sure, what the robber demanded of me — my money — was my own; and I had a clear right to keep it; but it was no more my own than my vote is my own; and the threat of death to me, to extort my money, and the threat of destruction to the Union, to extort my vote, can scarcely be distinguished in principle.'''

* '''If slavery is right, all words, acts, laws, and constitutions against it, are themselves wrong, and should be silenced, and swept away.'''

* Wrong as we think slavery is, we can yet afford to let it alone where it is, because that much is due to the necessity arising from its actual presence in the nation; but can we, while our votes will prevent it, allow it to spread into the National Territories, and to overrun us here in these Free States? If our sense of duty forbids this, then '''let us stand by our duty, fearlessly and effectively. Let us be diverted by none of those sophistical contrivances wherewith we are so industriously plied and belabored — contrivances such as groping for some middle ground between the right and the wrong, vain as the search for a man who should be neither a living man nor a dead man — such as a policy of &quot;don't care&quot; on a question about which all true men do care — such as Union appeals beseeching true Union men to yield to Disunionists, reversing the divine rule, and calling, not the sinners, but the righteous to repentance — such as invocations to [[George Washington|Washington]], imploring men to unsay what Washington said, and undo what Washington did.'''

* '''Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations against us, nor frightened from it by menaces of destruction to the Government nor of dungeons to ourselves. Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.'''

====Speech at Hartford (1860)====
[[File:Uncle Sam's Thanksgiving Dinner (November 1869), by Thomas Nast.jpg|thumb|Every man, black, white or yellow, has a mouth to be fed and two hands with which to feed it, and that bread should be allowed to go to that mouth without controversy.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:2?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Speech at Hartford, Connecticut (5 March 1860), ''Evening Press''&lt;!-- http://archive.org/stream/collectedworksof015582mbp/collectedworksof015582mbp_djvu.txt--&gt;.]&lt;/small&gt;

*'''[[Slavery]] is the great political question of the nation. Though all desire its settlement, it still remains the all-pervading question of the day. It has been so especially for the past six years. It is indeed older than the revolution, rising, subsiding, then rising again, till [[1854|fifty-four]], since which time it has been constantly augmenting'''. Those who occasioned the Lecompton imbroglio now admit that they see no end to it. It had been their cry that the vexed question was just about to be settled, 'the tail of this hideous creature is just going out of sight'. That cry is 'played out', and has ceased.

*Why, when all desire to have this controversy settled, can we not settle it satisfactorily? One reason is, we want it settled in different ways. Each faction has a different plan, they pull different ways, and neither has a decided majority. In my humble opinion, the importance and magnitude of the question is underrated, even by our wisest men. If I be right, the first thing is to get a just estimate of the evil — then we can provide a cure.

*One-sixth, and a little more, of the population of the United States are slaves, looked upon as property, as nothing but property. The cash value of these slaves, at a moderate estimate, is $2,000,000,000. This amount of property value has a vast influence on the minds of its owners, very naturally. The same amount of property would have an equal influence upon us if owned in the north. Human nature is the same, people at the south are the same as those at the north, barring the difference in circumstances. Public opinion is founded, to a great extent, on a property basis. What lessons the value of property is opposed, what enhances its value is favored. Public opinion at the south regards slaves as property and insists upon treating them like other property.

*'''On the other hand, the free states carry on their government on the principle of the equality of men. We think [[slavery]] is morally wrong, and a direct violation of that principle. We all think it wrong. It is clearly proved, I think, by natural theology, apart from revelation. Every man, black, white or yellow, has a mouth to be fed and two hands with which to feed it, and that bread should be allowed to go to that mouth without controversy.'''

*Slavery is wrong in its effect upon white people and free labor; it is the only thing that threatens the Union. It makes what Senator Seward has been much abused for calling an 'irrepressible conflict'. When they get ready to settle it, we hope they will let us know. Public opinion settles every question here, any policy to be permanent must have public opinion at the bottom, something in accordance with the philosophy of the human mind as it is. The property basis will have its weight. The love of property and a consciousness of right or wrong have conflicting places in our organization, which often make a man's course seem crooks, his conduct a riddle.

*Some men would make it a question of indifference, neither right nor wrong, merely a question of dollars and cents, the Almighty has drawn a line across the land, below which it must be cultivated by slave labor, above which by free labor. They would say: 'If the question is between the white man and the negro, I am for the white man; if between the negro and the crocodile, I am for the negro.' There is a strong effort to make this policy of indifference prevail, but it can not be a durable one. A 'don't care' policy won't prevail, for every body does care.

*Is there a Democrat, especially one of the Douglas wing, but will declare that the Declaration of Independence has no application to the negro? It would be safe to offer a moderate premium for such a man. I have asked this question in large audiences where they were in the habit of answering right out, but no one would say otherwise. Not one of them said it five years ago. I never heard it till I heard it from the lips of Judge Douglas. True, some men boldly took the bull by the horns and said the Declaration of Independence was not true! They didn't sneak around the question. I say I heard first from Douglas that the Declaration did not apply to black men. Not a man of them said it till then, they all say it now. This is a long stride towards establishing the policy of indifference, one more such stride, I think, would do it.

*'''The proposition that there is a struggle between the white man and the negro contains a falsehood. There is no struggle.''' If there was, I should be for the white man. '''If two men are adrift at sea on a plank which will bear up but one, the law justifies either in pushing the other off. I never had to struggle to keep a negro from enslaving me, nor did a negro ever have to fight to keep me from enslaving him.''' They say, between the crocodile and the negro they go for the negro. The logical proportion is therefore; as a white man is to a negro, so is a negro to a crocodile; or, as the negro may treat the crocodile, so the white man may treat the negro. The 'don't care' policy leads just as surely to nationalizing slavery as Jeff Davis himself, but the doctrine is more dangerous because more insidious.

*'''If the Republicans, who think slavery is wrong, get possession of the general government, we may not root out the evil at once, but may at least prevent its extension. If I find a venomous snake lying on the open praire, I seize the first stick and kill him at once. But if that snake is in bed with my children, I must be more cautious. I shall, in striking the snake, also strike the children, or arouse the reptile to bite the children. Slavery is the venomous snake in bed with the children. But if the question is whether to kill it on the prairie or put it in bed with other children, I think we'd kill it!'''

*Another illustration. When for the first time I met Mister Clay, the other day in the cars, in front of us sat an old gentleman with an enormous wen upon his neck. Everybody would say the wen was a great evil, and would cause the man's death after a while. But you couldn't cut it out, for he'd bleed to death in a minute. But would you engraft the seeds of that wen on the necks of sound and healthy men? He must endure and be patient, hoping for possible relief. The wen represents slavery on the neck of this country. This only applies to those who think slavery is wrong. Those who think it right would consider the snake a jewel, and the wen an ornament.

*We want those who think slavery wrong to quit voting with those who think it right. They don't treat it as they do other wrongs. They won't oppose it in the free states for it isn't there, nor in the slave states for it is there; don't want it in politics, for it makes agitation; not in the pulpit, for it isn't religion; not in a Tract Society, for it makes a fuss. There is no place for its discussion. Are they quite consistent in this?

*If those democrats really think slavery wrong they will be much pleased when earnest men in the slave states take up a plan of gradual emancipation and go to work energetically and very kindly to get rid of the evil. Now let us test them. Frank Blair tried it; and he ran for Congress in '58, and got beaten. Did the democracy feel bad about it? I reckon not, I guess you all flung up your hats and shouted 'Hurrah for the Democracy!'

*He went on to speak of the manner in which slavery was treated by the Constitution. The word 'slave' is no where used; the supply of slaves was to be prohibited after 1808; they stopped the spread of it in the territories; seven of the states abolished it. He argued very conclusively that it was then regarded as an evil which would eventually be got rid of, and that they desired, once rid of it, to have nothing in the constitution to remind them of it. The Republicans go back to first principles and deal with it as a wrong. Mason, of [[Virginia|Va.]], said openly that the framers of our government were anti-slavery. Hammond of [[South Carolina|S.C.]], said 'Washington set this evil example'. Bully Brooks said: 'At the time the Constitution was formed, no one supposed slavery would last till now'. We stick to the policy of our fathers.

*[[Democratic Party (United States)|The Democracy]] are given to 'bushwhacking'. After having their errors and mis-statements continually thrust in their faces, they pay no heed, but go on howling about Seward and the 'irrepressible conflict'. That is 'bushwhacking'. So with John Brown and Harper's Ferry. They charge it upon the Republican party and ignominiously fail in all attempts to substantiate the charge. Yet they go on with their bushwhacking, the pack in full cry after John Brown.

*The democrats had just been whipped in Ohio and Pennsylvania, and seized upon the unfortunate Harper's Ferry affair to influence other elections then pending. They said to each other, 'Jump in, now's your chance', and were sorry there were not more killed. But they didn't succeed well. Let them go on with their howling. They will succeed when by slandering women you get them to love you, and by slandering men you get them to vote for you.

*Mister Lincoln then took up the [[w:Massachusetts|Massachusetts]] shoemakers' strike, treating it in a humorous and philosophical manner, and exposing to ridicule the foolish pretense of Senator Douglas, that the strike arose from 'this unfortunate sectional warfare'. Mister Lincoln thanked God that we have a system of labor where there can be a strike. Whatever the pressure, there is a point where the workman may stop.

*He didn't pretend to be familiar with the subject of the shoe strike, probably knew as little about it as Senator Douglas himself. This strike has occurred as the Senator says, or it has not. Shall we stop making war upon the South? We never have made war upon them. If any one has, better go and hang himself and save Virginia the trouble. If you give up your convictions and call slavery right as they do, you let slavery in upon you, instead of white laborers who can strike, you'll soon have black laborers who can't strike.

*I have heard that in consequence of this 'sectional warfare', as Douglas calls it, Senator Mason of Va., had appeared in a suit of homespun. Now up in New Hampshire, the woolen and cotton mills are all busy, and there is no strike. They are busy making the very goods Senator Mason has quit buying! To carry out his idea, he ought to go barefoot! If that's the plan, they should begin at the foundation, and adopt the well-known 'Georgia costume' of a shirt-collar and pair of spurs!

*It reminded him of the man who had a poor old lean, bony, spavined horse, with swelled legs. He was asked what he was going to do with such a miserable beast, the poor creature would die. 'Do?' said he. 'I'm going to fat him up; don't you see that I have got him seal fat as high as the knees?' Well, they've got the Union dissolved up to the ankle, but no farther!

*All portions of [[United States|this confederacy]] should act in harmony and with careful deliberation. [[Democratic Party (United States)|The Democrats]] cry [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]] invasion. We are guiltless of it, but our denial does not satisfy [[Democratic Party (United States)|them]]. Nothing will satisfy [[Democratic Party (United States)|them]] but disinfecting the atmosphere entirely of all opposition to [[slavery]]. [[Democratic Party (United States)|They]] have not demanded of us to yield the guards of liberty in our state constitutions, but it will naturally come to that after a while. If we give up to [[Democratic Party (United States)|them]], we cannot refuse even [[Democratic Party (United States)|their]] utmost request. If [[slavery]] is right, it ought to be extended; if not, it ought to be restricted, there is no middle ground. Wrong as we think it, we can afford to let it alone where it of necessity now exists; but we cannot afford to extend it into free territory and around our own homes. Let us stand against [[Slavery|it]]!

*The 'Union' arrangements are all a humbug. They reverse the scriptural order, calling the righteous and not sinners to repentance. Let us not be slandered or intimidated to turn from our duty. Eternal right makes might. As we understand our duty, let us do it!

==== Allow the humblest man an equal chance (1860) ====
&lt;!-- this stylized image of his death-bed is not appropriate to be placed here in a pre-presidency speech: [[File:Death of Abraham Lincoln.jpg|thumb|No policy that does not rest upon some philosophical public opinion can be permanently maintained.]] --&gt;
[[File:Hon. Abraham Lincoln, born in Kentucky, February 12, 1809 (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|I don't believe in a law to prevent a man from getting rich; it would do more harm than good. So while we do not propose any war upon capital, we do wish to allow the humblest man an equal chance to get rich with everybody else. When one starts poor, as most do in the race of life, free society is such that he knows he can better his condition; he knows that there is no fixed condition of labor, for his whole life.]]
[[File:Presidents Buchanan and Lincoln entering the Senate Chamber before the Inauguration (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|I want every man to have the chance — and I believe a black man is entitled to it — in which he can better his condition — when he may look forward and hope to be a hired laborer this year and the next, work for himself afterward, and finally to hire men to work for him! That is the true system.]]
[[File:The Inaugural procession at Washington passing the gate of the Capital Grounds (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|You say you are conservative — eminently conservative while we are revolutionary, destructive, or something of the sort. What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried?]]
&lt;!-- These images are used elsewhere on the page: [[File:The Inauguration of Abraham Lincoln as President of the United States, at the Capitol, Washington, March 4, 1861 (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|Even though much provoked, let us do nothing through passion and ill temper. Even though the Southern people will not so much as listen to us, let us calmly consider their demands, and yield to them if, in our deliberate view of our duty, we possibly can.]] 
[[File:Lincoln Inauguration.jpg|thumb|Their thinking it right, and our thinking it wrong, is the precise fact upon which depends the whole controversy.]]
--&gt;
[[File:Official_medallion_of_the_British_Anti-Slavery_Society_(1795).jpg|thumb|So long as we call Slavery wrong, whenever a slave runs away they will overlook the obvious fact that he ran because he was oppressed, and declare he was stolen off. Whenever a master cuts his slaves with the lash, and they cry out under it, he will overlook the obvious fact that the negroes cry out because they are hurt, and insist that they were put up to it by some rascally abolitionist.]]
&lt;!-- This image used elsewhere on the page [[File:Cicatrices de flagellation sur un esclave.jpg|thumb|Slavery is wrong. If Slavery is right, all words, acts, laws, and Constitutions against it, are themselves wrong, and should be silenced, and swept away.]] --&gt;
[[File:A Lincoln Statue 1.JPG|thumb|Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations against us, nor frightened from it by menaces of destruction to the Government, nor of dungeons to ourselves. Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty, as we understand it.]]
[[File:AbrLincoln1860ColeT.jpg|thumb|&lt;!-- &lt;center&gt;Frontispiece from&lt;br /&gt;''The Autobiography of Abraham Lincoln'' (1915)&lt;/center&gt;A {{w|Timothy Cole}} wood engraving from a May 20, 1860 ambrotype of Lincoln, two days following his nomination for President. --&gt;To us it appears natural to think that slaves are human beings; men, not property; that some of the things, at least, stated about men in [[United States Declaration of Independence|the ''Declaration of Independence'']] apply to them as well as to us. I say, we think, most of us, that this Charter of Freedom applies to the slave as well as to ourselves.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/haven.htm &quot;Allow the humblest man an equal chance&quot;] speech [http://books.google.de/books?id=8bWmmyJEMZoC&amp;pg=PA176&amp;dq=propose (6 March 1860) at New Haven, Connecticut]&lt;/small&gt;

* Fellow citizens of New Haven, if [[Republican Party (United States)|the Republican Party]] of [[United States|this nation]] shall ever have the national house entrusted to its keeping, it will be the duty of that party to attend to all the affairs of national housekeeping. Whatever matters of importance may come up, whatever difficulties may arise in the way of its administration of the government, that party will then have to attend to. It will then be compelled to attend to other questions, besides this question which now assumes an overwhelming importance — the question of Slavery. It is true that in the organization of the Republican party this question of Slavery was more important than any other; indeed, so much more important has it become that no other national question can even get a hearing just at present. The old question of tariff — a matter that will remain one of the chief affairs of national housekeeping to all time — the question of the management of financial affairs; the question of the disposition of the public domain — how shall it be managed for the purpose of getting it well settled, and of making there the homes of a free and happy people — these will remain open and require attention for a great while yet, and these questions will have to be attended to by whatever party has the control of the government. Yet, just now, they cannot even obtain a hearing, and I do not purpose to detain you upon these topics, or what sort of hearing they should have when opportunity shall come.

* '''For, whether we will or not, the question of Slavery is the question, the all absorbing topic of the day. It is true that all of us, and by that I mean, not the Republican party alone, but the whole American people, here and elsewhere, all of us wish this question settled, wish it out of the way. It stands in the way, and prevents the adjustment, and the giving of necessary attention to other questions of national house-keeping.''' The people of the whole nation agree that this question ought to be settled, and yet it is not settled. And the reason is that they are not yet agreed how it shall be settled. All wish it done, but some wish one way and some another, and some a third, or fourth, or fifth; different bodies are pulling in different directions, and none of them having a decided majority, are able to accomplish the common object.

* In the beginning of the year 1854 a new policy was inaugurated with the avowed object and confident promise that it would entirely and forever put an end to the Slavery agitation. It was again and again declared that under this policy, when once successfully established, the country would be forever rid of this whole question. Yet under the operation of that policy this agitation has not only not ceased, but it has been constantly augmented. And this too, although, from the day of its introduction, its friends, who promised that it would wholly end all agitation, constantly insisted, down to the time that the Lecompton bill was introduced, that it was working admirably, and that its inevitable tendency was to remove the question forever from the politics of the country. Can you call to mind any Democratic speech, made after the repeal of the Missouri Compromise, down to the time of the Lecompton bill, in which it was not predicted that the Slavery agitation was just at an end; that &quot;the abolition excitement was played out,&quot; &quot;the Kansas question was dead,&quot; &quot;they have made the most they can out of this question and it is now forever settled.&quot; But since the Lecompton bill no Democrat, within my experience, has ever pretended that he could see the end. That cry has been dropped. They themselves do not pretend, now, that the agitation of this subject has come to an end yet. 

* '''The truth is, that this question is one of national importance, and we cannot help dealing with it: we must do something about it, whether we will or not. We cannot avoid it; the subject is one we cannot avoid considering; we can no more avoid it than a man can live without eating. It is upon us; it attaches to the body politic as much and as closely as the natural wants attach to our natural bodies. Now I think it important that this matter should be taken up in earnest, and really settled. And one way to bring about a true settlement of the question is to understand its true magnitude.'''

* '''Look at the magnitude of this subject!''' One sixth of our population, in round numbers — not quite one sixth, and yet more than a seventh, — about '''one sixth of the whole population of the United States are slaves! The owners of these slaves consider them property. The effect upon the minds of the owners is that of property, and nothing else — it induces them to insist upon all that will favorably affect its value as property, to demand laws and institutions and a public policy that shall increase and secure its value, and make it durable, lasting and universal. The effect on the minds of the owners is to persuade them that there is no wrong in it. The slaveholder does not like to be considered a mean fellow, for holding that species of property, and hence he has to struggle within himself and sets about arguing himself into the belief that Slavery is right. The property influences his mind.''' [...] Certain it is, that this two thousand million of dollars, invested in this species of property, all so concentrated that the mind can grasp it at once — this immense pecuniary interest, has its influence upon their minds.

* To us it appears natural to think that '''slaves are human beings; men, not property'''; that '''some of the things, at least, stated about men in the Declaration of Independence apply to them as well as to us.''' I say, we think, most of us, that '''this Charter of Freedom applies to the slave as well as to ourselves''', that the class of arguments put forward to batter down that idea, are also calculated to break down the very idea of a free government, even for white men, and to undermine the very foundations of free society. '''We think Slavery a great moral wrong, and while we do not claim the right to touch it where it exists, we wish to treat it as a wrong in the Territories, where our votes will reach it. We think that a respect for ourselves, a regard for future generations and for the God that made us, require that we put down this wrong where our votes will properly reach it. We think that species of labor an injury to free white men — in short, we think [[Slavery]] a great moral, social and political evil, tolerable only because, and so far as its actual existence makes it necessary to tolerate it, and that beyond that, it ought to be treated as a wrong.'''

* '''No policy that does not rest upon some philosophical public opinion can be permanently maintained.''' And hence, there are but two policies in regard to Slavery that can be at all maintained. The first, based on the property view that Slavery is right, conforms to that idea throughout, and demands that we shall do everything for it that we ought to do if it were right. We must sweep away all opposition, for opposition to the right is wrong; we must agree that Slavery is right, and we must adopt the idea that property has persuaded the owner to believe — that Slavery is morally right and socially elevating. This gives a philosophical basis for a permanent policy of encouragement. The other policy is one that squares with the idea that Slavery is wrong, and it consists in doing everything that we ought to do if it is wrong. [...] I don't mean that we ought to attack it where it exists. To me it seems that if we were to form a government anew, in view of the actual presence of Slavery we should find it necessary to frame just such a government as our fathers did; giving to the slaveholder the entire control where the system was established, while we possessed the power to restrain it from going outside those limits. From the necessities of the case we should be compelled to form just such a government as our blessed fathers gave us; and, surely, if they have so made it, that adds another reason why we should let Slavery alone where it exists.

* '''If I saw a venomous snake crawling in the road, any man would say I might seize the nearest stick and kill it; but if I found that snake in bed with my children, that would be another question. I might hurt the children more than the snake, and it might bite them. Much more if I found it in bed with my neighbor's children, and I had bound myself by a solemn compact not to meddle with his children under any circumstances, it would become me to let that particular mode of getting rid of the gentleman alone. But if there was a bed newly made up, to which the children were to be taken, and it was proposed to take a batch of young snakes and put them there with them, I take it no man would say there was any question how I ought to decide!''' That is just the case! The new Territories are the newly made bed to which our children are to go, and it lies with the nation to say whether they shall have snakes mixed up with them or not. It does not seem as if there could be much hesitation what our policy should be!

* '''There is a falsehood wrapped up in that statement. &quot;In the struggle between the white man and the negro&quot; assumes that there is a struggle, in which either the white man must enslave the negro or the negro must enslave the white. There is no such struggle! It is merely an ingenious falsehood, to degrade and brutalize the negro. Let each let the other alone, and there is no struggle about it. If it was like two wrecked seamen on a narrow plank, when each must push the other off or drown himself, I would push the negro off or a white man either, but it is not; the plank is large enough for both. This good earth is plenty broad enough for white man and negro both, and there is no need of either pushing the other off.'''

* So that saying, &quot;in the struggle between the negro and the crocodile,&quot; &amp;c., is made up from the idea that down where the crocodile inhabits a white man can't labor; it must be nothing else but crocodile or negro; if the negro does not the crocodile must possess the earth; [Laughter;] in that case he declares for the negro. The meaning of the whole is just this: '''As a white man is to a negro so is a negro to a crocodile; and as the negro may rightfully treat the crocodile, so may the white man rightfully treat the negro. This''' very dear phrase coined by its author, and so dear that he deliberately repeats it in many speeches, '''has a tendency to still further brutalize the negro, and to bring public opinion to the point of utter indifference whether men so brutalized are enslaved or not.'''

* But '''those who say they hate slavery, and are opposed to it, but yet act with the Democratic party''' — where are they? Let us apply a few tests. '''You say that you think slavery is wrong, but you denounce all attempts to restrain it. Is there anything else that you think wrong, that you are not willing to deal with as a wrong? Why are you so careful, so tender of this one wrong and no other?''' You will not let us do a single thing as if it was wrong; there is no place where you will allow it to be even called wrong! We must not call it wrong in the Free States, because it is not there, and we must not call it wrong in the Slave States because it is there; we must not call it wrong in politics because that is bringing morality into politics, and we must not call it wrong in the pulpit because that is bringing politics into religion; we must not bring it into the Tract Society or the other societies, because those are such unsuitable places, and there is no single place, according to you, where this wrong thing can properly be called wrong!

* '''It is easy to demonstrate that &quot;our Fathers, who framed this government under which we live,&quot; looked on Slavery as wrong, and so framed it and everything about it as to square with the idea that it was wrong, so far as the necessities arising from its existence permitted.''' In forming the Constitution they found the slave trade existing; capital invested in it; fields depending upon it for labor, and the whole system resting upon the importation of slave-labor. They therefore did not prohibit the slave trade at once, but they gave the power to prohibit it after twenty years. Why was this? What other foreign trade did they treat in that way? Would they have done this if they had not thought slavery wrong? Another thing was done by some of the same men who framed the Constitution, and afterwards adopted as their own act by the first Congress held under that Constitution, of which many of the framers were members; they prohibited the spread of Slavery into Territories. Thus the same men, '''the framers of the Constitution, cut off the supply and prohibited the spread of Slavery, and both acts show conclusively that they considered that the thing was wrong.''' If additional proof is wanting it can be found in the phraseology of the Constitution. When men are framing a supreme law and chart of government, to secure blessings and prosperity to untold generations yet to come, they use language as short and direct and plain as can be found, to express their meaning. '''In all matters but this of Slavery the framers of the Constitution used the very clearest, shortest, and most direct language. But the Constitution alludes to Slavery three times without mentioning it once! The language used becomes ambiguous, roundabout, and mystical.''' They speak of the &quot;immigration of persons,&quot; and mean the importation of slaves, but do not say so. In establishing a basis of representation they say &quot;all other persons,&quot; when they mean to say slaves — why did they not use the shortest phrase? In providing for the return of fugitives they say &quot;persons held to service or labor.&quot; If they had said slaves it would have been plainer, and less liable to misconstruction. Why didn't they do it. We cannot doubt that it was done on purpose. '''Only one reason is possible''', and that is supplied us by one of the framers of the Constitution — and it is not possible for man to conceive of any other — '''they expected and desired that the system would come to an end, and meant that when it did, the Constitution should not show that there ever had been a slave in this good free country of ours!'''

* One of the reasons why I am opposed to Slavery is just here. What is the true condition of the laborer? I take it that it is best for all to leave each man free to acquire property as fast as he can. Some will get wealthy. '''I don't believe in a law to prevent a man from getting rich; it would do more harm than good. So while we do not propose any war upon capital, we do wish to allow the humblest man an equal chance to get rich with everybody else. When one starts poor, as most do in the race of life, free society is such that he knows he can better his condition; he knows that there is no fixed condition of labor, for his whole life.''' I am not ashamed to confess that twenty five years ago I was a hired laborer, mauling rails, at work on a flat-boat — just what might happen to any poor man's son! '''I want every man to have the chance — and I believe a black man is entitled to it — in which he can better his condition — when he may look forward and hope to be a hired laborer this year and the next, work for himself afterward, and finally to hire men to work for him! That is the true system.'''

* '''You have done nothing, and have protested that you have done nothing, to injure the South. And yet, to get back the shoe trade, you must leave off doing something that you are now doing. What is it? You must stop thinking slavery wrong! Let your institutions be wholly changed; let your State Constitutions be subverted, glorify slavery, and so you will get back the shoe trade — for what? You have brought owned labor with it to compete with your own labor, to underwork you, and to degrade you! Are you ready to get back the trade on those terms?'''

* Let us notice some more of the stale charges against Republicans. '''You say we are sectional. We deny it. That makes an issue; and the burden of proof is upon you. You produce your proof; and what is it? Why, that our party has no existence in your section — gets no votes in your section. The fact is substantially true; but does it prove the issue? If it does, then in case we should, without change of principle, begin to get votes in your section, we should thereby cease to be sectional. You cannot escape this conclusion; and yet, are you willing to abide by it? If you are, you will probably soon find that we have ceased to be sectional, for we shall get votes in your section this very year. The fact that we get no votes in your section is a fact of your making, and not of ours. And if there be fault in that fact, that fault is primarily yours, and remains so until you show that we repel you by some wrong principle or practice. If we do repel you by any wrong principle or practice, the fault is ours; but this brings you to where you ought to have started — to a discussion of the right or wrong of our principle. If our principle, put in practice, would wrong your section for the benefit of ours, or for any other object, then our principle, and we with it, are sectional, and are justly opposed and denounced as such. Meet us, then, on the question of whether our principle, put in practice, would wrong your section; and so meet it as if it were possible that something may be said on our side. Do you accept the challenge? No? Then you really believe that the principle which our fathers who framed the Government under which we live thought so clearly right as to adopt it, and indorse it again and again, upon their official oaths, is, in fact, so clearly wrong as to demand your condemnation without a moment's consideration.'''

* But '''you say you are conservative — eminently conservative while we are revolutionary, destructive, or something of the sort. What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried?''' We stick to, contend for, the identical old policy on the point in controversy which was adopted by our fathers who framed the Government under which we live; while you with one accord reject, and scout, and spit upon that old policy, and insist upon substituting something new. True, you disagree among yourselves as to what that substitute shall be. You have considerable variety of new propositions and plans, but you are unanimous in rejecting and denouncing the old policy of the fathers. Some of you are for reviving the foreign slavetrade; some for a Congressional Slave-Code for the Territories; some for Congress forbidding the Territories to prohibit Slavery within their limits; some for maintaining Slavery in the Territories through the Judiciary; some for the &quot;gur-reat pur-rin-ciple&quot; that &quot;if one man would enslave another, no third man should object,&quot; fantastically called &quot;Popular Sovereignty;&quot; [great laughter,] but never a man among you in favor of Federal prohibition of Slavery in Federal Territories, according to the practice of our fathers who framed the Government under which we live. Not one of all your various plans can show a precedent or an advocate in the century within which our Government originated. And yet you draw yourselves up and say &quot;We are eminently conservative!&quot;

* It is exceedingly desirable that all parts of this great Confederacy shall be at peace, and in harmony, one with another. Let us Republicans do our part to have it so. '''Even though much provoked, let us do nothing through passion and ill temper. Even though the Southern people will not so much as listen to us, let us calmly consider their demands, and yield to them if, in our deliberate view of our duty, we possibly can.''' [...] '''we must not only let them alone, but we must, somehow, convince them that we do let them alone. This, we know by experience is no easy task.''' We have been so trying to convince them from the very beginning of our organization, but with no success. In all our platforms and speeches, we have constantly protested our purpose to let them alone; but this has had no tendency to convince them, Alike unavailing to convince them is the fact that they have never detected a man of us in any attempt to disturb them.

* These natural and apparently adequate means all failing, what will convince them? This, and this only; cease to call slavery wrong, and join them in calling it right. And this must be done thoroughly — done in acts as well as in words. Silence will not be tolerated — we must place ourselves avowedly with them. Douglas's new sedition law must be enacted and enforced, suppressing all declarations that Slavery is wrong, whether made in politics, in presses, in pulpits, or in private. We must arrest and return their fugitive slaves with greedy pleasure. We must pull down our Free State Constitutions. The whole atmosphere must be disinfected of all taint of opposition to Slavery, before they will cease to believe that all their troubles proceed from us. '''So long as we call Slavery wrong, whenever a slave runs away they will overlook the obvious fact that he ran because he was oppressed, and declare he was stolen off. Whenever a master cuts his slaves with the lash, and they cry out under it, he will overlook the obvious fact that the negroes cry out because they are hurt, and insist that they were put up to it by some rascally abolitionist.'''

* '''Slavery is wrong. If Slavery is right, all words, acts, laws, and Constitutions against it, are themselves wrong, and should be silenced, and swept away.''' If it is right, we cannot justly object to its nationality — its universality; if it is wrong they cannot justly insist upon its extension — its enlargement. All they ask, we could readily grant, if we thought Slavery right; all we ask, they could as readily grant, if they thought it wrong. '''Their thinking it right, and our thinking it wrong, is the precise fact upon which depends the whole controversy.''' Thinking it right as they do, they are not to blame for desiring its full recognition, as being right; but, thinking it wrong, as we do, can we yield to them? Can we cast our votes with their view, and against our own? In view of our moral, social, and political responsibilities, can we do this? &lt;br/&gt; Wrong as we think Slavery is, we can yet afford to let it alone where it is, because that much is due to the necessity arising from its actual presence in the nation; but can we, while our votes will prevent it, allow it to spread into the National Territories, and to overrun us here in these Free States? &lt;br/&gt; If our sense of duty forbids this, then '''let us stand by our duty, fearlessly and effectively. Let us be diverted by none of those sophistical contrivances wherewith we are so industriously plied and belabored — contrivances such as groping for middle ground between the right and the wrong, vain as the search for a man who should be neither a living man nor a dead man — such as a policy of &quot;don't care&quot; on a question about which all true men do care — such as Union appeals beseeching true Union men to yield to Disunionists, reversing the divine rule, and calling, not the sinners, but the righteous to repentance — such as invocations of Washington, imploring men to unsay what Washington did.'''

* '''Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations against us, nor frightened from it by menaces of destruction to the Government, nor of dungeons to ourselves. Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty, as we understand it.'''

====''A Short Autobiography'' (1860)====
[[File:Abraham_Lincoln_Birthplace_National_Historic_Site.jpg|thumb|200px|Abraham took an early start as a hunter, which was never much improved afterwards. A few days before the completion of his eighth year, in the absence of his father, '''a flock of wild turkeys approached the new log cabin, and Abraham with a rifle-gun standing inside, shot through a crack and killed one of them. He has never since pulled a trigger on any larger game.''']] &lt;!-- June 1860 --&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;''A Short Autobiography, Written in June 1860, at the Request of a Friend to use in preparing a Popular Campaign Biography at the Election of that Year'', from ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ISg9AAAAYAAJ The Autobiography of Abraham Lincoln]'' (1905) by Abraham Lincoln&lt;/small&gt;

* From this place he removed to what is now [[w:Spencer County, Indiana|Spencer County, Indiana]], in the autumn of 1816. Abraham then being in his eighth year. ...though very young, was large for his age, and '''had an ax put into his hands at once; and from that till within his twenty-third year he was almost constantly handling that most useful instrument — less, of course, in plowing and harvesting seasons.'''&lt;!--pp.7-8--&gt;

* Abraham took an early start as a hunter, which was never much improved afterwards. A few days before the completion of his eighth year, in the absence of his father, '''a flock of wild turkeys approached the new log cabin, and Abraham with a rifle-gun standing inside, shot through a crack and killed one of them. He has never since pulled a trigger on any larger game.'''&lt;!--p.8--&gt;

* Abraham now thinks that '''the aggregate of all his schooling did not amount to one year.''' He was never in a college or academy as a student, and never inside of a college or academy building till since he had a law license. What he has in the way of education he has picked up. After he was twenty-three and had separated from his father, he studied English grammar — imperfectly of course, but so as to speak and write as well as he now does. '''He studied and nearly mastered the six books of [[Euclid’s Elements|Euclid]] since he was a member of Congress. He regrets his want of education, and does what he can to supply the want. In his tenth year he was kicked by a horse, and apparently killed for a time.'''&lt;!--pp. 9-10--&gt;

* March 1, 1830, Abraham having just completed his twenty-first year, his father and family, with the families of the two daughters and sons-in-law of his stepmother, left the old homestead in Indiana and came to Illinois. ...'''Here they built a log cabin, into which they removed, and made sufficient of rails to fence ten acres of ground, fenced and broke the ground, and raised a crop of sown corn upon it the same year. These are, or are supposed to be, the rails about which so much is being said just now, though these are far from being the first or only rails ever made by Abraham.'''&lt;!--pp. 11-12--&gt;

* The {{w|Black Hawk war}} of 1832 broke out. Abraham joined a volunteer company, and, to his own surprise, was elected captain of it. He says he has not since had any success in life which gave him so much satisfaction. He went to the campaign, served near three months, met the ordinary hardships of such an expedition, but was in no battle. He now owns, in Iowa, the land upon which his own warrants for the service were located. Returning from the campaign, and '''encouraged by his great popularity among his immediate neighbors, he the same year ran for the legislature, and was beaten''' — his own precinct, however, casting its votes 277 for and 7 against him... '''This was the only time Abraham was ever beaten on a direct vote of the people.'''&lt;!--pp.16-17--&gt;

* A man offered to sell, and did sell, to Abraham and another as poor as himself, an old stock of goods, upon credit. '''They opened as merchants; and he says that was ''the'' store. Of course they did nothing but get deeper and deeper in debt.''' He was appointed postmaster at New Salem — the office being too insignificant to make his politics an objection. '''The store winked out.''' The surveyor of Sangamon offered to depute to Abraham that portion of his work which was within his part of the County. He accepted, procured a compass and chain, studied [https://books.google.com/books?id=iakIAAAAIAAJ Flint]&lt;!--Abel Flint, ''A System of Geometry and Trigonometry''--&gt; and [https://books.google.com/books?id=SIERLtc5aAYC Gibson]&lt;!--Robert Gibson, ''A Treatise of Practical Surveying''--&gt; a little, and went at it. This procured bread, and kept soul and body together. '''The election of 1834 came, and he was then elected to the [[w:Illinois House of Representatives|legislature]] by the highest vote cast for any candidate. Major {{w|John T. Stuart}},''' then in full practice of the law, was also elected. During the canvass, in a private conversation, he '''encouraged Abraham to study law.'''&lt;!--pp.18-19--&gt;

* '''After the election he borrowed books of Stuart, took them home with him, and went at it in good earnest.''' He studied with nobody. He still mixed in the surveying to pay board and clothing bills. When the legislature met, the law-books were dropped, but were taken up again at the end of the session. He was reëlected in 1836, 1838, and 1840. In the autumn of 1836 he obtained a law license, and '''on April 15, 1837, removed to Springfield, and commenced the practice — his old friend Stuart taking him into partnership.'''&lt;!--p.19--&gt;

* '''In 1846 he was elected to the lower House of Congress, and served one term only''', commencing in December, 1847, and ending with the inauguration of [[Zachary Taylor|General Taylor]], in March, 1849. '''All the battles of the [[Mexican–American War|Mexican war]] had been fought before Mr. Lincoln took his seat in Congress but the American army was still in [[Mexico]], and the [[w:Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo|treaty of peace]] was not fully and formally ratified''' till the June afterwards. ...'''he voted for all the supply measures''' that came up, '''and for all the measures in any way favorable to the officers, soldiers, and their families''', who conducted the war through: with the exception that some of these measures passed without yeas and nays, leaving no record as to how particular men voted. '''The &quot;Journal&quot; and &quot;[[w:Congressional Record|Globe]]&quot; also show him voting that the war was unnecessarily and unconstitutionally begun by the [[James K. Polk|President]] of the United States.'''&lt;!--pp.22-23--&gt;

* '''Mr. Lincoln's reasons for the opinion expressed by this vote were briefly that [[James K. Polk|the President]] had sent General Taylor into an inhabited part of the country belonging to Mexico, and not to the United States, and thereby had provoked the first act of hostility''', in fact the commencement of the war; that the place, being the country bordering on the east bank of the [[w:Rio Grande|Rio Grande]], was inhabited by native [[Mexicans]] born there under the [[w:Government of Mexico|Mexican Government]], and had never submitted to, nor been conquered by, Texas or the United States, nor transferred to either by treaty; that although Texas claimed the Rio Grande as her boundary, Mexico had never recognized it, and neither Texas nor the United States had ever enforced it; that there was a broad desert between that and the country over which Texas had actual control; that the country where hostilities commenced, having once belonged to Mexico, must remain so until it was somehow legally transferred, which had never been done.&lt;br /&gt;Mr. Lincoln thought the act of sending an armed force among the [[Mexicans]] was unnecessary, inasmuch as Mexico was in no way molesting or menacing the United States or the people thereof; '''and that it was unconstitutional, because the power of levying war is vested in Congress, and not in the President.''' He thought the principal motive for the act was to divert public attention from the surrender of &quot;[[w:Fifty-four, forty, or fight|Fifty-four, forty, or fight]]&quot; to Great Britain, on the [[w:Oregon boundary dispute|Oregon boundary question]].&lt;!--pp.24-26--&gt;

* In 1848, during his term in Congress, he advocated [[Zachary Taylor|General Taylor]]'s nomination for the presidency, in opposition to all others, and also took an active part for his election after his nomination...&lt;!--p.26--&gt;

* Upon his return from Congress he went to the practice of the law with greater earnestness than ever before. ...In 1854 his profession had almost superseded the thought of politics in his mind, when '''the repeal of the {{w|Missouri Compromise}} aroused him as he had never been before.'''&lt;br /&gt;In the autumn of that year '''he took the stump with no broader practical aim or object than to secure, if possible, the reëlection of Hon. [[w:Richard Yates (politician, born 1815)|Richard Yates]] to Congress.''' His speeches at once attracted a more marked attention than they had ever before done. ...&lt;br /&gt;In the canvass of 1856 Mr. Lincoln made over fifty speeches, no one of which, so far as he remembers, was put in print. One of them was made at [[w:Galena, Illinois|Galena]], but Mr. Lincoln has no recollection of any part of it being printed... '''he thinks he could not have expressed himself as represented.'''&lt;!--pp.27-29--&gt;

====Letter to Alexander H. Stephens (1860)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://civilwarcauses.org/aleck.htm Letter to Alexander H. Stephens (22 December 1860), Springfield, Illinois.]&lt;/small&gt;
*Do the people of the [[Southern United States|South]] really entertain fears that a Republican administration would, directly or indirectly, interfere with their slaves, or with them, about their slaves? If they do, I wish to assure you, as once a friend, and still, I hope, not an enemy, that there is no cause for such fears.

*The South would be in no more danger in this respect than it was in the days of Washington. I suppose, however, this does not meet the case. '''You think slavery is right and should be extended; while we think slavery is wrong and ought to be restricted. That I suppose is the rub. It certainly is the only substantial difference between us.'''

==== Illinois Farewell Address (1861) ====
[[File:Lincoln protecting Potawatomi.jpg|thumb| … I bid you an affectionate farewell.]]
:&lt;small&gt; Delivered at [[w:Springfield, Illinois|Springfield, Illinois]], on February 11, 1861, before embarking on his [[w:Abraham Lincoln 1861 presidential inauguration|inaugural journey to Washington]]. [https://web.archive.org/web/20160326225729/http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:306?rgn=div1;view=fulltext A Version of the Farewell Address] as provided by Roy P. Basler, ed., The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 4 (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 190. For the Original Manuscript of Farewell Address as provided by Library of Congress see [http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/treasures/trm059.html here]. &lt;/small&gt;

* My friends — No one, not in my situation, can appreciate my feeling of sadness at this parting. To this place, and the kindness of these people, I owe every thing. Here I have lived a quarter of a century, and have passed from a young to an old man. Here my children have been born, and one is buried. '''I now leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of that Divine Being, who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him, who can go with me, and remain with you and be every where for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.'''
====Speech to Germans at Cincinnati, Ohio (1861)====
[[File:First United States Labor Day Parade, September 5, 1882 in New York City.jpg|thumb|The value of life is to improve one's condition. Whatever is calculated to advance the condition of the honest, struggling laboring man, so far as my judgment will enable me to judge of a correct thing, I am for that thing.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[https://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:319.1?rgn=div2;view=fulltext Speech to Germans at Cincinnati, Ohio] (12 February 1861)&lt;/small&gt;
=====''Commercial'' version=====
*[W]orking men are the basis of all governments, for the plain reason that they are the most numerous, and as you added that those were the sentiments of the gentlemen present, representing not only the working class, but citizens of other callings than those of the mechanic, I am happy to concur with you in these sentiments, not only of the native born citizens, but also of the Germans and foreigners from other countries.

*'''[W]hile man exists, it is his duty to improve not only his own condition, but to assist in ameliorating mankind; and therefore, without entering upon the details of the question, I will simply say, that I am for those means which will give the greatest good to the greatest number.'''

*[I]n so far as the Government lands can be disposed of, I am in favor of cutting up the wild lands into parcels, so that every poor man may have a home.

*In regard to the Germans and foreigners, I esteem them no better than other people, nor any worse. It is not my nature, '''when I see a people borne down by the weight of their shackles-the oppression of tyranny-to make their life more bitter by heaping upon them greater burdens; but rather would I do all in my power to raise the yoke, than to add anything that would tend to crush them.'''

*Inasmuch as our country is extensive and new, and the countries of Europe are densely populated, if there are any abroad who desire to make this the land of their adoption, it is not in my heart to throw aught in their way, to prevent them from coming to the United States.

=====''Gazette'' version=====
*[W]orking men are the basis of all governments. That remark is due to them more than to any other class, for the reason that there are more of them than of any other class. And as your address is presented to me not only on behalf of workingmen, but especially of Germans, I may say a word as to classes. '''I hold the value of life is to improve one's condition. Whatever is calculated to advance the condition of the honest, struggling laboring man, so far as my judgment will enable me to judge of a correct thing. I am for that thing.'''

*[T]he wild lands of the country should be distributed so that every man should have the means and opportunity of benefitting his condition.

*In regard to '''Germans and foreigners''', I esteem foreigners no better than other people, nor any worse. '''They are all of the great family of men, and if there is one shackle upon any of them, it would be far better to lift the load from them than to pile additional loads upon them.''' And inasmuch as the continent of America is comparatively a new country, and the other countries of the world are old countries, there is more room here, comparatively speaking, than there is there; and if they can better their condition by leaving their old homes, there is nothing in my heart to forbid them coming; and I bid them all God speed.

====Speech in Independence Hall (1861)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln4/1:376?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Speech in Independence Hall, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania] (22 February 1861); quoted in Roy P. Basler, ed., ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 4'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 204.&lt;/small&gt;

*I am filled with deep emotion at finding myself standing here, in this place, where were collected together the [[wisdom]], the [[patriotism]], the devotion to principle, from which sprang the institutions under which we live. You have kindly suggested to me that in my hands is the task of restoring peace to the present distracted condition of the country. I can say in return, Sir, that '''all the political sentiments I entertain have been drawn, so far as I have been able to draw them, from the sentiments which originated and were given to the world from this hall'''.

* '''I have never had a feeling politically that did not spring from the sentiments embodied in the Declaration of Independence.''' I have often pondered over the dangers which were incurred by the men who assembled here and adopted that [[United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]]; I have pondered over the toils that were endured by the officers and soldiers of the army, who achieved that Independence. '''I have often inquired of myself, what great principle or idea it was that kept this Confederacy so long together. It was''' not the mere matter of the separation of the colonies from the mother land; but '''something in [[United States Declaration of Independence|that Declaration]] giving liberty, not alone to the people of this country, but hope to the world for all future time. It was that which gave promise that in due time the weights should be lifted from the shoulders of all men, and that ''all'' should have an equal chance. This is the sentiment embodied in that ''Declaration of Independence''.'''

*'''Now, my friends, can this country be saved upon that basis? If it can, I will consider myself one of the happiest men in the world if I can help to save it. If it can't be saved upon that principle, it will be truly awful. But, if this country cannot be saved without giving up [[Equality|that principle]]. I was about to say I would rather be assassinated on this spot than to surrender it'''.
**Some historians have opined that the assassination quip was in response to an assassination threat Lincoln had been notified about earlier.

*Now, in my view of the present aspect of affairs, '''there is no need of bloodshed and war. There is no necessity for it. I am not in favor of such a course, and I may say in advance, there will be no blood shed unless it be forced' upon the Government. The Government will not use force unless force is used against it'''. 

*My friends, this is a wholly unprepared speech. I did not expect to be called upon to say a word when I came here. I supposed I was merely to do something towards raising a flag. I may, therefore, have said something indiscreet, but I have said nothing but what I am willing to live by, and, in the pleasure of Almighty God, die by.

==== [[w:Lincoln's first inaugural address|First Inaugural Address]] (1861) ====
[[File:The Inauguration of Abraham Lincoln as President of the United States, at the Capitol, Washington, March 4, 1861 (Boston Public Library).jpg|thumb|A majority held in restraint by constitutional checks and limitations … is the only true sovereign of a free people.]]
[[File:Steamship Star of the West, with reinforcements for Major Anderson, approaching Fort Sumter.jpg|thumb|In your hands, my dissatisfied countrymen, and not in mine is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without yourselves being the aggressors.]]
[[File:US presidential seal 1850.png|thumb|The Chief Magistrate derives all his authority from the people … His duty is to administer the present Government as it came to his hands and to transmit it unimpaired by him to his successor.]]
[[File:1860 Abraham Lincoln O-40.png|thumb|We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.]]
[[File:Abraham lincoln inauguration 1861.jpg|thumb| The mystic chords of memory... will yet swell the chorus of the Union when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [[s:Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address|First Inaugural Address (4 March 1861)]] &lt;/small&gt;

* I do but [[Abraham Lincoln#Lincoln–Douglas_debates_(1858)|quote from one of those speeches when I declare that &quot;I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists. I believe I have no lawful right to do so, and I have no inclination to do so.&quot;]] Those who nominated and elected me did so with full knowledge that I had made this, and many similar declarations, and had never recanted them.
** Lincoln is quoting himself from first Debate with [[Stephen Douglas]] in the [http://www.bartleby.com/251/ Lincoln-Douglas debates] of the 1858 campaign for the U.S. Senate, at Ottawa, Illinois (21 August 1858).

* In doing this there needs to be no bloodshed or violence; and there shall be none, unless it be forced upon the national authority. The power confided to me will be used to hold, occupy, and possess the property and places belonging to the government, and to collect the duties and imposts; but beyond what may be necessary for these objects, there will be no invasion — no using of force against, or among the people anywhere.

* '''If by the mere force of numbers a majority should deprive a minority of any clearly written constitutional right, it might, in a moral point of view, justify revolution — certainly would if such a right were a vital one.''' But such is not our case. All the vital rights of minorities and of individuals are so plainly assured to them by affirmations and negations, guarantees and prohibitions, in the Constitution, that controversies never arise concerning them. But no organic law can ever be framed with a provision specifically applicable to every question which may occur in practical administration. No foresight can anticipate, nor any document of reasonable length contain, express provisions for all possible questions.

* Plainly, the central idea of secession is the essence of anarchy. '''A majority held in restraint by constitutional checks and limitations, and always changing easily with deliberate changes of popular opinions and sentiments, is the only true sovereign of a free people.''' Whoever rejects it does, of necessity, fly to anarchy or to despotism. Unanimity is impossible; the rule of a minority, as a permanent arrangement, is wholly inadmissible; so that, rejecting the majority principle, anarchy or despotism in some form is all that is left.

* I do not forget the position, assumed by some, that constitutional questions are to be decided by the Supreme Court; nor do I deny that such decisions must be binding, in any case, upon the parties to a suit, as to the object of that suit, while they are also entitled to very high respect and consideration in all parallel cases by all other departments of the government. And while it is obviously possible that such decision may be erroneous in any given case, still the evil effect following it, being limited to that particular case, with the chance that it may be overruled and never become a precedent for other cases, can better be borne than could the evils of a different practice. At the same time, '''the candid citizen must confess that if the policy of the government, upon vital questions affecting the whole people, is to be irrevocably fixed by decisions of the Supreme Court, the instant they are made, in ordinary litigation between parties in personal actions, the people will have ceased to be their own rulers, having to that extent practically resigned their government into the hands of that eminent tribunal.''' Nor is there in this view any assault upon the court or the judges. It is a duty from which they may not shrink to decide cases properly brought before them, and it is no fault of theirs if others seek to turn their decisions to political purposes.

*'''One section of our country believes slavery is right and ought to be extended, while the other believes it is wrong and ought not to be extended. This is the only substantial dispute.''' The fugitive-slave clause of the Constitution and the law for the suppression of the foreign slave trade are each as well enforced, perhaps, as any law can ever be in a community where the moral sense of the people imperfectly supports the law itself. The great body of the people abide by the dry legal obligation in both cases, and a few break over in each. This I think, can not be perfectly cured, and it would be worse in both cases after the separation of the sections than before. The foreign slave trade, now imperfectly suppressed, would be ultimately revived without restriction in one section, while fugitive slaves, now only partially surrendered, would not be surrendered at all by the other. '''Physically speaking, we can not separate. We can not remove our respective sections from each other nor build an impassable wall between them. A husband and wife may be divorced and go out of the presence and beyond the reach of each other, but the different parts of our country can not do this. They can not but remain face to face, and intercourse, either amicable or hostile, must continue between them, Is it possible, then, to make that intercourse more advantageous or more satisfactory after separation than before? Can aliens make treaties easier than friends can make laws? Can treaties be more faithfully enforced between aliens than laws can among friends? Suppose you go to war, you can not fight always; and when, after much loss on both sides and no gain on either, you cease fighting, the identical old questions, as to terms of intercourse, are again upon you.'''

* '''This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it.'''

* '''[[w:President of the United States of America|The Chief Magistrate]] derives all his authority from the people''', and they have referred none upon him to fix terms for the separation of the States. The people themselves can do this if also they choose, but the Executive as such has nothing to do with it. '''His duty is to administer the present Government as it came to his hands and to transmit it unimpaired by him to his successor.'''

* '''Why should there not be a patient confidence in the ultimate justice of the people? Is there any better or equal hope in the world?'''

* '''While the people retain their virtue and vigilance, no administration, by any extreme of wickedness or folly, can very seriously injure the government in the short space of four years.'''

* My countrymen, one and all, '''think calmly and well upon this whole subject. Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time.''' If there be an object to hurry any of you in hot haste to a step which you would never take deliberately, that object will be frustrated by taking time; but no good object can be frustrated by it.

* Intelligence, patriotism, Christianity, and a firm reliance on Him, who has never yet forsaken this favored land, are still competent to adjust, in the best way, all our present difficulty.

* In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to &quot;preserve, protect, and defend it&quot;.

* I am loath to close. '''We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'''

==== Fourth of July Address to Congress (1861) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=69802 Address to Congress (4 July 1861)]&lt;!--http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/detail/3508--&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;Between [[w:Battle of Fort Sumter|the fall of Fort Sumter on April 13, 1861]], and July of that same year, President Abraham Lincoln took a number of actions without Congressional approval including the [[w:Habeas corpus in the United States#Presidential_suspension_of_habeas_corpus|suspension of Habeas corpus]]. Lincoln did these actions in response to [[w:secession|secession]] by eleven [[w:Southern United States|southern]] [[w:slave state|slave states]] which declared their secession from the United States in response to the [[w:United States presidential election, 1860|election of Abraham Lincoln as President of the United States]] and formed the [[Confederate States of America]]. In his address to Congress, Lincoln asks Congress to validate his actions by authorizing them after the fact. This address also marks Lincoln's first full explanation of the purpose of the [[American Civil War|war]] as &quot;a struggle for maintaining in the world that form and substance of government whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men; to lift artificial weights from all shoulders; to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all; to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance in the race of life&quot; and the &quot;successful maintenance [of this government] against a formidable internal attempt to overthrow it.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Bombardment of Fort Sumter engraving by unknown artist 1863.jpg|thumb|The assault upon and reduction of Fort Sumter was in no sense a matter of self-defense on the part of the assailants. They well knew that the garrison in the fort could by no possibility commit aggression upon them. They knew, they were expressly notified, that the giving of bread to the few brave and hungry men of the garrison was all which would on that occasion be attempted, unless themselves, by resisting so much, should provoke more...]]
[[File:Government-Vedder-Highsmith-detail-1.jpeg |thumb|Must a government of necessity be too strong for the liberties of its own people, or too weak to maintain its own existence?]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by William F. Cogswell, 1869.jpg |thumb|This is essentially a people's contest. On the side of the Union it is a struggle for maintaining in the world that form and substance of government whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men; to lift artificial weights from all shoulders; to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all; to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance in the race of life.]]
[[File:Picswiss VD-46-60.jpg|thumb|Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors of bullets, and that when ballots have fairly and constitutionally decided there can be no successful appeal back to bullets … Such will be a great lesson of peace, teaching men that what they can not take by an election neither can they take it by a war; teaching all the folly of being the beginners of a war.]]

*It is thus seen that '''the [[w:Battle of Fort Sumter|assault upon and reduction of Fort Sumter]] was in no sense a matter of self-defense on the part of the assailants. They well knew that the garrison in the fort could by no possibility commit aggression upon them. They knew-they were expressly notified-that the giving of bread to the few brave and hungry men of the garrison was all which would on that occasion be attempted, unless themselves, by resisting so much, should provoke more'''. They knew that this Government desired to keep the garrison in the fort, not to assail them, but merely to maintain visible possession, and thus to preserve the Union from actual and immediate dissolution, trusting, as hereinbefore stated, to time, discussion, and the ballot box for final adjustment; and they assailed and reduced the fort for precisely the reverse object — to drive out the visible authority of the Federal Union, and thus force it to immediate dissolution. That this was their object the Executive well understood; and having said to them in the inaugural address, &quot;You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors,&quot; he took pains not only to keep this declaration good, but also to keep the case so free from the power of ingenious sophistry as that the world should not be able to misunderstand it. By the affair at Fort Sumter, with its surrounding circumstances, that point was reached. Then and thereby the assailants of the Government began the conflict of arms, without a gun in sight or in expectancy to return their fire, save only the few in the fort, sent to that harbor years before for their own protection, and still ready to give that protection in whatever was lawful. In this act, discarding all else, they have forced upon the country the distinct issue, &quot;Immediate dissolution or blood.&quot;

* And this issue embraces more than the fate of these United States. It presents to the whole family of man the question whether a [[Constitutions|constitutional]] [[republic]], or '''democracy — a government of the people by the same people''' — can or can not maintain its territorial integrity against its own domestic foes. It presents the question whether discontented individuals, too few in numbers to control administration according to organic law in any case, can always, upon the pretenses made in this case, or on any other pretenses, or arbitrarily without any pretense, break up their government, and thus practically put an end to free government upon the earth. It forces us to ask, Is there in all republics this inherent and fatal weakness? '''Must a government of necessity be too strong for the liberties of its own people, or too weak to maintain its own existence?'''

*It might seem at first thought to be of little difference whether the present movement at the South be called &quot;[[w:Secession in the United States|secession]]&quot; or &quot;[[rebellion]].&quot; The movers, however, well understand the difference. At the beginning they knew they could never raise their treason to any respectable magnitude by any name which implies violation of law. They knew their people possessed as much of moral sense, as much of devotion to law and order, and as much pride in and reverence for the history and Government of their common country as any other civilized and patriotic people. They knew they could make no advancement directly in the teeth of these strong and noble sentiments. Accordingly, they commenced by an insidious debauching of the public mind. They invented an ingenious sophism, which, if conceded, was followed by perfectly logical steps through all the incidents to the complete destruction of the Union. The [[Sophist|sophism]] itself is that any State of the Union may consistently with the National Constitution, and therefore lawfully and peacefully, withdraw from the Union without the consent of the Union or of any other State. The little disguise that the supposed right is to be exercised only for just cause, themselves to be the sole judge of its justice, is too thin to merit any notice. '''With rebellion thus sugar coated they have been drugging the public mind of their section for more than thirty years, and until at length they have brought many good men to a willingness to take up arms against the Government the day after some assemblage of men have enacted the farcical pretense of taking their State out of the Union who could have been brought to no such thing the day before'''.

*This sophism derives much, perhaps the whole, of its currency from the assumption that there is some omnipotent and sacred supremacy pertaining to a State — to each State of our Federal Union. Our States have neither more nor less power than that reserved to them in the Union by the Constitution, no one of them ever having been a State out of the Union. The original ones passed into the Union even before they cast off their British colonial dependence, and the new ones each came into the Union directly from a condition of dependence, excepting Texas; and even Texas, in its temporary independence, was never designated a State. The new ones only took the designation of States on coming into the Union, while that name was first adopted for the old ones in and by the Declaration of Independence. Therein the &quot;United Colonies&quot; were declared to be &quot;free and independent States;&quot; but even then the object plainly was not to declare their independence of one another or of the Union, but directly the contrary, as their mutual pledge and their mutual action before, at the time, and afterwards abundantly show. The express plighting of faith by each and all of the original thirteen in the Articles of Confederation, two years later, that the Union shall be perpetual is most conclusive. Having never been States, either in substance or in name, outside of the Union, whence this magical omnipotence of &quot;State rights,&quot; asserting a claim of power to lawfully destroy the Union itself? Much is said about the &quot;sovereignty&quot; of the States, but the word even is not in the National Constitution, nor, as is believed, in any of the State constitutions. What is a &quot;sovereignty&quot; in the political sense of the term? Would it be far wrong to define it &quot;a political community without a political superior&quot;? Tested by this, no one of our States, except Texas, ever was a sovereignty; and even Texas gave up the character on coming into the Union, by which act she acknowledged the Constitution of the United States and the laws and treaties of the United States made in pursuance of the Constitution to be for her the supreme law of the land. The States have their status in the Union, and they have no other legal status. If they break from this, they can only do so against law and by revolution. The Union, and not themselves separately, procured their independence and their liberty. By conquest or purchase the Union gave each of them whatever of independence and liberty it has. The Union is older than any of the States, and, in fact, it created them as States. Originally some dependent colonies made the Union, and in turn the Union threw off their old dependence for them and made them States, such as they are. Not one of them ever had a State constitution independent of the Union. Of course it is not forgotten that all the new States framed their constitutions before they entered the Union, nevertheless dependent upon and preparatory to coming into the Union.

*Unquestionably the States have the powers and rights reserved to them in and by the National Constitution; but among these surely are not included all conceivable powers, however mischievous or destructive, but at most such only as were known in the world at the time as governmental powers; and certainly a power to destroy the Government itself had never been known as a governmental — as a merely administrative power. This relative matter of national power and State rights, as a principle, is no other than the principle of generality and locality . Whatever concerns the whole should be confided to the whole — to the General Government — while whatever concerns only the State should be left exclusively to the State. This is all there is of original principle about it. Whether the National Constitution in defining boundaries between the two has applied the principle with exact accuracy is not to be questioned. We are all bound by that defining without question.

*What is now combated is the position that secession is consistent with the Constitution — is lawful and peaceful . It is not contended that there is any express law for it, and nothing should ever be implied as law which leads to unjust or absurd consequences. The nation purchased with money the countries out of which several of these States were formed. Is it just that they shall go off without leave and without refunding? The nation paid very large sums (in the aggregate, I believe, nearly a hundred millions) to relieve Florida of the aboriginal tribes. Is it just that she shall now be off without consent or without making any return? The nation is now in debt for money applied to the benefit of these so-called seceding States in common with the rest. Is it just either that creditors shall go unpaid or the remaining States pay the whole? A part of the present national debt was contracted to pay the old debts of Texas. Is it just that she shall leave and pay no part of this herself?

*Again: If one State may secede, so may another; and when all shall have seceded none is left to pay the debts. Is this quite just to creditors? Did we notify them of this sage view of ours when we borrowed their money? If we now recognize this doctrine by allowing the seceders to go in peace, it is difficult to see what we can do if others choose to go or to extort terms upon which they will promise to remain.

*The seceders insist that our Constitution admits of secession. They have assumed to make a national constitution of their own, in which of necessity they have either discarded or retained the right of secession, as they insist it exists in ours. If they have discarded it, they thereby admit that on principle it ought not to be in ours. If they have retained it, by their own construction of ours they show that to be consistent they must secede from one another whenever they shall find it the easiest way of settling their debts or effecting any other selfish or unjust object. '''The principle itself is one of disintegration, and upon which no government can possibly endure'''.

* The whole of the laws which were required to be faithfully executed were being resisted and failing of execution in nearly one-third of the States. Must they be allowed to finally fail of execution, even had it been perfectly clear that by the use of the means necessary to their execution some single law, made in such extreme tenderness of the citizen's liberty that practically it relieves more of the guilty than of the innocent, should to a very limited extent be violated? To state the question more directly, Are all the laws but one to go unexecuted, and the Government itself go to pieces lest that one be violated? Even in such a case, would not the official oath be broken if the Government should be overthrown when it was believed that disregarding the single law would tend to preserve it?

* The provision of the Constitution that &quot;the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended unless when, in cases of rebellion or invasion, the public safety may require it&quot; is equivalent to a provision — is a provision — that such privilege may be suspended when, in cases of rebellion or invasion, the public safety does require it. It was decided that we have a case of rebellion and that the public safety does require the qualified suspension of the privilege of the writ which was authorized to be made. Now it is insisted that Congress, and not the Executive, is vested with this power; but the Constitution itself is silent as to which or who is to exercise the power; and as the provision was plainly made for a dangerous emergency, it can not be believed the framers of the instrument intended that in every case the danger should run its course until Congress could be called together, the very assembling of which might be prevented, as was intended in this case, by the rebellion.

* The evidence reaching us from the country leaves no doubt that the material for the work is abundant, and that it needs only the hand of legislation to give it legal sanction and the hand of the Executive to give it practical shape and efficiency. '''One of the greatest perplexities of the Government is to avoid receiving troops faster than it can provide for them. In a word, the people will save their Government if the Government itself will do its part only indifferently well.'''

* '''This is essentially a people's contest. On the side of the Union it is a struggle for maintaining in the world that form and substance of government whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men; to lift artificial weights from all shoulders; to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all; to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance in the race of life. Yielding to partial and temporary departures, from necessity, this is the leading object of the Government for whose existence we contend.'''

* '''Our popular Government has often been called an experiment. Two points in it our people have already settled — the successful establishing and the successful administering of it. One still remains — its successful maintenance against a formidable internal attempt to overthrow it. It is now for them to demonstrate to the world that those who can fairly carry an election can also suppress a rebellion; that ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors of bullets, and that when ballots have fairly and constitutionally decided there can be no successful appeal back to bullets'''; that there can be no successful appeal except to ballots themselves at succeeding elections. '''Such will be a great lesson of peace, teaching men that what they can not take by an election neither can they take it by a war; teaching all the folly of being the beginners of a war.'''

* Lest there be some uneasiness in the minds of candid men as to what is to be the course of the Government toward the Southern States after the rebellion shall have been suppressed, the Executive deems it proper to say it will be his purpose then, as ever, to be guided by the Constitution and the laws, and that he probably will have no different understanding of the powers and duties of the Federal Government relatively to the rights of the States and the people under the Constitution than that expressed in the inaugural address.

* He desires to preserve the Government, that it may be administered for all as it was administered by the men who made it. Loyal citizens everywhere have the right to claim this of their government, and the government has no right to withhold or neglect it. It is not perceived that in giving it there is any coercion, any conquest, or any subjugation in any just sense of those terms.

* The Constitution provides, and all the States have accepted the provision, that &quot;the United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a republican form of government.&quot; But if a State may lawfully go out of the Union, having done so it may also discard the republican form of government; so that to prevent its going out is an indispensable means to the end of maintaining the guaranty mentioned; and when an end is lawful and obligatory the indispensable means to it are also lawful and obligatory.

* It was with the deepest regret that the Executive found the duty of employing the war power in defense of the Government forced upon him. He could but perform this duty or surrender the existence of the Government. No compromise by public servants could in this case be a cure; not that compromises are not often proper, but that no popular government can long survive a marked precedent that those who carry an election can only save the government from immediate destruction by giving up the main point upon which the people gave the election. '''The people themselves, and not their servants, can safely reverse their own deliberate decisions.'''

* As a private citizen the Executive could not have consented that these institutions shall perish; much less could he in betrayal of so vast and so sacred a trust as these free people had confided to him. He felt that he had no moral right to shrink, nor even to count the chances of his own life in what might follow. In full view of his great responsibility he has so far done what he has deemed his duty. You will now, according to your own judgment, perform yours. He sincerely hopes that your views and your action may so accord with his as to assure all faithful citizens who have been disturbed in their rights of a certain and speedy restoration to them under the Constitution and the laws. '''And having thus chosen our course, without guile and with pure purpose, let us renew our trust in God and go forward without fear and with manly hearts.'''

==== First State of the Union address (1861) ====
:&lt;small&gt; [[s:Abraham Lincoln's First State of the Union Address|First State of the Union Address]] (3 December 1861)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lincoln and McClellan 1862-10-03.jpg |thumb|It has been said that one bad general is better than two good ones, and the saying is true if taken to mean no more than that an army is better directed by a single mind, though inferior, than by two superior ones at variance and cross-purposes with each other. And the same is true in all joint operations wherein those engaged can have none but a common end in view and can differ only as to the choice of means.]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln, President, U.S - NARA - 530407.tif |thumb|No men living are more worthy to be trusted than those who toil up from poverty.]]

* A nation which endures factious domestic division is exposed to disrespect abroad, and one party, if not both, is sure sooner or later to invoke foreign intervention. Nations thus tempted to interfere are not always able to resist the counsels of seeming expediency and ungenerous ambition, although measures adopted under such influences seldom fail to be unfortunate and injurious to those adopting them.

* The principal lever relied on by the insurgents for exciting foreign nations to hostility against us, as already intimated, is the embarrassment of commerce. Those nations, however, not improbably saw from the first that it was the Union which made as well our foreign as our domestic commerce. They can scarcely have failed to perceive that the effort for disunion produces the existing difficulty, and that '''one strong nation promises more durable peace and a more extensive, valuable, and reliable commerce than''' can '''the same nation broken into hostile fragments.'''

* '''The war continues. In considering the policy to be adopted for suppressing the insurrection I have been anxious and careful that the inevitable conflict for this purpose shall not degenerate into a violent and remorseless revolutionary struggle. I have therefore in every case thought it proper to keep the integrity of the Union prominent as the primary object of the contest on our pan''', leaving all questions which are not of vital military importance to the more deliberate action of the Legislature. In the exercise of my best discretion I have adhered to the blockade of the ports held by the insurgents, instead of putting in force by proclamation the law of Congress enacted .at the late session for closing those ports. So also, obeying the dictates of prudence, as well as the obligations of law, instead of transcending I have adhered to the act of Congress to confiscate property used for insurrectionary purposes. If a new law upon the same subject shall be proposed, its propriety will be duly considered. '''The Union must be preserved, and hence all indispensable means must be employed. We should not be in haste to determine that radical and extreme measures, which may reach the loyal as well as the disloyal, are indispensable.'''

* '''It has been said that one bad general is better than two good ones, and the saying is true if taken to mean no more than that an army is better directed by a single mind, though inferior, than by two superior ones at variance and cross-purposes with each other. And the same is true in all joint operations wherein those engaged can have none but a common end in view and can differ only as to the choice of means.''' In a storm at sea no one on board can wish the ship to sink, and yet not unfrequently all go down together because too many will direct and no single mind can be allowed to control.

* It continues to develop that the insurrection is largely, if not exclusively, a war upon the first principle of popular government — the rights of the people. Conclusive evidence of this is found in the most grave and maturely considered public documents, as well as in the general tone of the insurgents. In those documents we find the abridgment of the existing right of suffrage and the denial to the people of all right to participate in the selection of public officers except the legislative boldly advocated, with labored arguments to prove that large control of the people in government is the source of all political evil. Monarchy itself is sometimes hinted at as a possible refuge from the power of the people. In my present position I could scarcely be justified were I to omit raising a warning voice against this approach of returning despotism.

==== Telegram to George B. McClellan (1862) ====
&lt;small&gt;[https://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln5/1:410?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Online text]&lt;/small&gt;

* After you left, I ascertained that less than twenty thousand unorganized men, without a single field battery, were all you designed to be left for the defence of Washington, and [[w:Manassas Junction|Manassas Junction]]; and part of this even, was to go to Gen. Hooker's old position. Gen. Banks' corps, once designed for Manassas Junction, was diverted, and tied up on the line of [[w:Winchester, Virginia|Winchester]] and [[w:Strausburg, Virginia|Strausburg]], and could not leave it without again exposing the upper [[w:Potomac River|Potomac]], and the [[w:Baltimore and Ohio Railroad|Baltimore and Ohio Railroad]]. This presented, (or would present, when [[w:Irwin McDowell|McDowell]] and Sumner should be gone) a great temptation to the enemy to turn back from the [[w:Rappahanock River|Rappahanock]], and sack Washington. My explicit order that Washington should, by the judgment of all the commanders of Army corps, be left entirely secure, had been neglected. It was precisely this that drove me to detain McDowell.

* I do not forget that I was satisfied with your arrangement to leave Banks at Mannassas Junction; but when that arrangement was broken up, and nothing was substituted for it, of course I was not satisfied. I was constrained to substitute something for it myself. And now allow me to ask &quot;Do you really think I should permit the line from [[w:Richmond, Virginia|Richmond]], via Mannassas Junction, to this city to be entirely open, except what resistance could be presented by less than twenty thousand unorganized troops?&quot; This is a question which the country will not allow me to evade.

* And, once more let me tell you, it is indispensable to you that you strike a blow. I am powerless to help this. &lt;b&gt;You will do me the justice to remember I always insisted, that going down the Bay in search of a field, instead of fighting at or near Mannassas, was only shifting, and not surmounting, a difficulty---that we would find the same enemy, and the same, or equal, intrenchments, at either place. The country will not fail to note---is now noting---that the present hesitation to move upon an intrenched enemy, is but the story of Manassas repeated.&lt;/b&gt;

* &lt;b&gt;I beg to assure you that I have never written you, or spoken to you, in greater kindness of feeling than now, nor with a fuller purpose to sustain you, so far as in my most anxious judgment, I consistently can. But you must act.&lt;/b&gt;

==== Letter to Horace Greeley (1862) ====
:&lt;small&gt; Letter to [[w:Horace Greeley|Horace Greeley]] (22 August 1862) [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;type=simple;rgn=div1;q1=greeley;singlegenre=All;view=text;subview=detail;sort=occur;idno=lincoln5;node=lincoln5%3A848 The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, p. 388-389]&lt;/small&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;With the Letter Lincoln replied to an Open Editorial in Greeley's New York Tribune in which Greeley wrote &quot;On the face of this wide earth, Mr. President, there is not one... intelligent champion of the Union cause who does not feel... that the rebellion, if crushed tomorrow, would be renewed if slavery were left in full vigor... and that every hour of deference to slavery is an hour of added and deepened peril to the Union.&quot; see [http://faculty.assumption.edu/aas/Manuscripts/greeley.html Horace Greeley, &quot;A Prayer for Twenty Millions,&quot; New York Tribune, August 20, 1862] in &quot;[http://books.google.de/books?id=tA4lXY3W8hkC&amp;pg=PA160&amp;dq=face Dear Mr. Lincoln: Letters to the President]&quot; Edited by Harold Holzer (Southern Illinois University Press; 1st edition (January 20, 2006)), p. 160-161&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:US Great Seal 1877 drawing.png|thumb|My paramount object in [[American Civil War|this struggle]] is to save [[United States|the Union]], and is not either to save or to destroy slavery... I have here stated my purpose according to my view of ''official'' duty, and I intend no modification of my oft-expressed ''personal'' wish that all men everywhere could be free..]]

* I would save the Union. I would save it the shortest way under the Constitution. The sooner the national authority can be restored; the nearer the Union will be ``the Union as it was.´´ If there be those who would not save the Union, unless they could at the same time ''save'' slavery, I do not agree with them. If there be those who would not save the Union unless they could at the same time ''destroy'' slavery, I do not agree with them.

* '''My paramount object in this struggle ''is'' to save the Union, and is ''not'' either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing ''any'' slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing ''all'' the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that.''' What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do ''not'' believe it would help to save the Union.

* '''I shall do ''less'' whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do ''more'' whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause. I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors; and I shall adopt new views so fast as they shall appear to be true views.

* I have here stated my purpose according to my view of ''official'' duty; and '''I intend no modification of my oft-expressed ''personal'' wish that all men every where could be free.'''''

==== Reply to an Emancipation Memorial (1862) ====
:&lt;small&gt; Reply to an Emancipation Memorial presented by Chicago Christians of All Denominations (13 September 1862), published in ''The Life and Public Services of Abraham Lincoln'' (1865) edited by Henry Jarvis Raymond and Francis Bicknell Carpenter, p. 255 &lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-60 by Mathew Brady, 1862.jpg |thumb|I must study the plain physical facts of the case, ascertain what is possible, and learn what appears to be wise and right.]]

* The subject presented in the memorial is one upon which I have thought much for weeks past, and I may even say for months. '''I am approached with the most opposite opinions and advice, and that by religious men, who are equally certain that they represent the Divine will. I am sure that either the one or the other class is mistaken in that belief, and perhaps in some respects both.''' I hope it will not be irreverent for me to say that if it is probable that God would reveal his will to others, on a point so connected with my duty, it might be supposed he would reveal it directly to me; for, unless I am more deceived in myself than I often am, it is my earnest desire to know the will of Providence in this matter. And if I can learn what it is I will do it! These are not, however, the days of miracles, and I suppose it will be granted that I am not to expect a direct revelation. '''I must study the plain physical facts of the case, ascertain what is possible, and learn what appears to be wise and right. &lt;br /&gt; The subject is difficult, and good men do not agree.'''

* What good would a proclamation of emancipation from me do, especially as we are now situated? '''I do not want to issue a document that the whole world will see must necessarily be inoperative, like the Pope's bull against the comet!''' Would my word free the slaves, when I cannot even enforce the Constitution in the rebel States? Is there a single court, or magistrate, or individual that would be influenced by it there! And what reason is there to think it would have any greater effect upon the slaves than the late law of Congress, which I approved, and which offers protection and freedom to the slaves of rebel masters who come within our lines? Yet I cannot learn that that law has caused a single slave to come over to us. And suppose they could be induced by a proclamation of freedom from me to throw themselves upon us, what should we do with them? How can we feed and care for such a multitude?

* Now, then, tell me, if you please, what possible result of good would follow the issuing of such a proclamation as you desire? Understand, I raise no objections against it on legal or constitutional grounds; for, as commander — in — chief of the army and navy, in time of war, I suppose I have a right to take any measure which may best subdue the enemy. Nor do I urge objections of a moral nature, in view of possible consequences of insurrection and massacre at the South. I view the matter as a practical war measure, to be decided upon according to the advantages or disadvantages it may offer to the suppression of the rebellion.

* I have not decided against a proclamation of liberty to the slaves, but hold the matter under advisement. And I can assure you that the subject is on my mind, by day and night, more than any other. Whatever shall appear to be God's will I will do. I trust that in the freedom with which I have canvassed your views I have not in any respect injured your feelings.

====Letter to Stanton (1862)====
:per [https://www.aish.com/ci/s/Abraham-Lincoln-and-the-Jews-10-Fascinating-Facts.html AISH] and [https://www.shapell.org/manuscript/abraham-lincoln-appointed-a-hebrew-jewish-appointment/ Shapell], a 4 November 1862] letter to Secretary of War [[Edwin Stanton]] regarding Cheme Moise Levy (an Orthodox Jew)

I believe we have not yet appointed a Hebrew - As Cherie M. Levy, is well vouched, as a capable and faithful man, let him be appointed an Assistant Quarter. [sic] Master, with the rank of Captain.

==== Second State of the Union address (1862) ====
[[File:Abraham Lincoln standing portrait 1863.jpg|thumb| The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew.]]
[[File:Andrew Johnson impeachment trial.jpg|thumb|We can not escape history. We of this Congress and this Administration will be remembered in spite of ourselves. No personal significance or insignificance can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the latest generation.]]
[[File:PinkLincMcC crop.jpg|thumb| In giving freedom to the slave we assure freedom to the free — honorable alike in what we give and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best, hope of earth.]]
:&lt;small&gt; [[s:Abraham Lincoln's Second State of the Union Address|Second State of the Union Address]] (1 December 1862)&lt;/small&gt;

* A civil war occurring in a country, where foreigners reside and carry on trade under treaty stipulations is necessarily fruitful of complaints of the violation of neutral rights. All such collisions tend to excite misapprehensions, and possibly to produce mutual reclamations between nations which have a common interest in preserving peace and friendship.

* '''A nation may be said to consist of its territory, its people, and its laws. The territory is the only part which is of certain durability.''' [[s:Bible_(King_James)/Ecclesiastes#Chapter_1|&quot;One generation passeth away and another generation cometh, but the earth abideth forever.&quot;]] '''It is of the first importance to duly consider and estimate this ever-enduring part'''.

* '''That portion of the earth's surface which is owned and inhabited by the people of the United States is well adapted to be the home of one national family, and it is not well adapted for two or more. Its vast extent and its variety of climate and productions are of advantage in this age for''' one people, whatever they might have been in former ages. Steam, telegraphs, and intelligence have brought these to be an advantageous combination for '''one united people'''.

* '''Our national strife springs not from our permanent part; not from the land we inhabit: not from our national homestead. There is no possible severing of this but would multiply and not mitigate evils among us. In all its adaptations and aptitudes it demands union and abhors separation. In fact, it would ere long force reunion, however much of blood and treasure the separation might have cost. Our strife pertains to ourselves — to the passing generations of men — and it can without convulsion be hushed forever with the passing of one generation.'''

* '''Without slavery [[American Civil War|the rebellion]] could never have existed; without slavery it could not continue.'''

* In a certain sense the liberation of slaves is the destruction of property — property acquired by descent or by purchase, the same as any other property.

* Certainly it is not so easy to pay something as it is to pay nothing, but it is easier to pay a large sum than it is to pay a larger one. And it is easier to pay any sum when we are able than it is to pay it before we are able.

* '''In times like the present, men should utter nothing for which they would not willingly be responsible through time and in eternity.'''

* As to the second article, I think it would be impracticable to return to bondage the class of persons therein contemplated. Some of them, doubtless, in the property sense belong to loyal owners, and hence provision is made in this article for compensating such. The third article relates to the future of the freed people. It does not oblige, but merely authorizes Congress to aid in colonizing such as may consent. This ought not to be regarded as objectionable on the one hand or on the other, insomuch as it comes to nothing unless by the mutual consent of the people to be deported and the American voters, through their representatives in Congress. '''I can not make it better known than it already is that I strongly favor colonization'''; and yet I wish to say there is an objection urged against free colored persons remaining in the country which is largely imaginary, if not sometimes malicious.

* Labor is like any other commodity in the market — increase the demand for it and you increase the price of it. '''Reduce the supply of black labor by colonizing the black laborer out of the country, and by precisely so much you increase the demand for and wages of white labor.'''

* I do not forget the gravity which should characterize a paper addressed to the Congress of the nation by the Chief Magistrate of the nation, nor do I forget that some of you are my seniors, nor that many of you have more experience than I in the conduct of public affairs. Yet I trust that in view of the great responsibility resting upon me you will perceive no want of respect to yourselves in any undue earnestness I may seem to display. Is it doubted, then, that the plan I propose, if adopted, would shorten the war, and thus lessen its expenditure of money and of blood? Is it doubted that it would restore the national authority and national prosperity and perpetuate both indefinitely? Is it doubted that we here — Congress and Executive can secure its adoption? Will not the good people respond to a united and earnest appeal from us? Can we, can they, by any other means so certainly or so speedily assure these vital objects? '''We can succeed only by concert. It is not &quot;Can any of us imagine better?&quot; but &quot;Can we all do better?&quot;''' Object whatsoever is possible, still the question recurs, &quot;Can we do better?&quot;

* '''The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.''' We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.

* Fellow-citizens, '''we can not escape history.''' We of this Congress and this Administration will be remembered in spite of ourselves. '''No personal significance or insignificance can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the latest generation.'''

* We say we are for the Union. The world will not forget that we say this. We know how to save the Union. The world knows we do know how to save it. '''We''', even we here, '''hold the power and bear the responsibility. In giving freedom to the slave we assure freedom to the free — honorable alike in what we give and what we preserve. We shall nobly save or meanly lose the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just — a way which if followed the world will forever applaud and God must forever bless.'''

==== ''{{w|Emancipation Proclamation}}'' (1863) ====
{{Main|Emancipation Proclamation}}
[[File:Emancipation proclamation.jpg|thumb|All persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free...]]
:&lt;small&gt;The Emancipation Proclamation (1 January 1863) - [[s:The Emancipation Proclamation|Full text online]]&lt;/small&gt;

* Whereas, on the twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, a proclamation was issued by the President of the United States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit: That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, '''all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.''' That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States.

* And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, '''I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons.''' And I hereby enjoin upon the people so declared to be free to abstain from all violence, unless in necessary self-defence; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they labor faithfully for reasonable wages. And I further declare and make known, that such persons of suitable condition, will be received into the armed service of the United States to garrison forts, positions, stations, and other places, and to man vessels of all sorts in said service. '''And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty God.'''

==== Letter to James C. Conkling (1863) ====
&lt;!-- Image used elsewhere on this page: [[File:The Inauguration of Abraham Lincoln as President of the United States, at the Capitol, Washington, March 4, 1861 (Boston Public Library).jpg |thumb|I freely acknowledge myself the servant of the people, according to the bond of service — the United States constitution; and that, as such, I am responsible to them.]] --&gt;
[[File:Black soldier in Union Army Sergeant uniform 1864.jpg|thumb|But negroes, like other people, act upon motives. Why should they do any thing for us, if we will do nothing for them? If they stake their lives for us, they must be prompted by the strongest motive — even the promise of freedom. And the promise being made, must be kept.]]
[[File:The Peacemakers 1868.jpg|thumb|Peace does not appear so distant as it did. I hope it will come soon, and come to stay; and so come as to be worth the keeping in all future time.]]
:&lt;small&gt;President Lincoln wrote this letter from August 26, 1863 to his friend James Conkling, and it is read at a rally in Springfield, Illinois, supporting the Union. In this letter, the President vigorously defends his [[s:The Emancipation Proclamation|Emancipation Proclamation]]. ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 6'' (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953), p. 407-410. • [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln6/1:849?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Full text online]&lt;/small&gt;

* There are those who are dissatisfied with me. To such I would say: You desire peace; and you blame me that we do not have it. But how can we attain it? There are but three conceivable ways. First, to suppress the rebellion by force of arms. This, I am trying to do. Are you for it? If you are, so far we are agreed. If you are not for it, a second way is, to give up the Union. I am against this. Are you for it? If you are, you should say so plainly. If you are not for ''force'', nor yet for ''dissolution'', there only remains some imaginable ''compromise''. I do not believe any compromise, embracing the maintenance of the Union, is now possible. All I learn, leads to a directly opposite belief. The strength of the rebellion, is its military — its army. That army dominates all the country, and all the people, within its range. Any offer of terms made by any man or men within that range, in opposition to that army, is simply nothing for the present; because such man or men, have no power whatever to enforce their side of a compromise, if one were made with them.

* A compromise, to be effective, must be made either with those who control the rebel army, or with the people first liberated from the domination of that army, by the success of our own army. Now allow me to assure you, that no word or intimation, from that rebel army, or from any of the men controlling it, in relation to any peace compromise, has ever come to my knowledge or belief. All charges and insinuations to the contrary, are deceptive and groundless. And I promise you, that if any such proposition shall hereafter come, it shall not be rejected, and kept a secret from you. '''I freely acknowledge myself the servant of the people, according to the bond of service — the United States constitution; and that, as such, I am responsible to them.'''

* But, to be plain, you are dissatisfied with me about the negro. Quite likely there is a difference of opinion between you and myself upon that subject. '''I certainly wish that all men could be free''', while I suppose you do not. Yet I have neither adopted, nor proposed any measure, which is not consistent with even your view, provided you are for the Union. I suggested compensated emancipation; to which you replied you wished not to be taxed to buy negroes. But I had not asked you to be taxed to buy negroes, except in such way, as to save you from greater taxation to save the Union exclusively by other means.

* '''You dislike the emancipation proclamation; and, perhaps, would have it retracted. You say it is unconstitutional — I think differently. I think the constitution invests its commander-in-chief, with the law of war, in time of war. The most that can be said, if so much, is, that slaves are property. Is there — has there ever been — any question that by the law of war, property, both of enemies and friends, may be taken when needed? And is it not needed whenever taking it, helps us, or hurts the enemy?''' Armies, the world over, destroy enemies' property when they can not use it; and even destroy their own to keep it from the enemy. Civilized belligerents do all in their power to help themselves, or hurt the enemy, except a few things regarded as barbarous or cruel. Among the exceptions are the massacre of vanquished foes, and non-combatants, male and female.

* '''But the proclamation, as law, either is valid, or is not valid. If it is not valid, it needs no retraction. If it is valid, it can not be retracted, any more than the dead can be brought to life.''' Some of you profess to think its retraction would operate favorably for the Union. Why better after the retraction, than before the issue? There was more than a year and a half of trial to suppress the rebellion before the proclamation issued, the last one hundred days of which passed under an explicit notice that it was coming, unless averted by those in revolt, returning to their allegiance. The war has certainly progressed as favorably for us, since the issue of the proclamation as before. I know as fully as one can know the opinions of others, that some of the commanders of our armies in the field who have given us our most important successes, believe the emancipation policy, and the use of colored troops, constitute the heaviest blow yet dealt to the rebellion; and that, at least one of those important successes, could not have been achieved when it was, but for the aid of black soldiers. Among the commanders holding these views are some who have never had any affinity with what is called abolitionism, or with republican party politics; but who hold them purely as military opinions. I submit these opinions as being entitled to some weight against the objections, often urged, that emancipation, and arming the blacks, are unwise as military measures, and were not adopted, as such, in good faith.

* You say you will not fight to free negroes. Some of them seem willing to fight for you; but, no matter. Fight you, then, exclusively to save the Union. I issued the proclamation on purpose to aid you in saving the Union. Whenever you shall have conquered all resistance to the Union, if I shall urge you to continue fighting, it will be an apt time, then, for you to declare you will not fight to free negroes.

* I thought that in your struggle for the Union, to whatever extent the negroes should cease helping the enemy, to that extent it weakened the enemy in his resistance to you. Do you think differently? I thought that whatever negroes can be got to do as soldiers, leaves just so much less for white soldiers to do, in saving the Union. Does it appear otherwise to you? But '''negroes, like other people, act upon motives. Why should they do any thing for us, if we will do nothing for them? If they stake their lives for us, they must be prompted by the strongest motive — even the promise of freedom. And the promise being made, must be kept.'''

* [[Peace]] does not appear so distant as it did. I hope it will come soon, and come to stay; and so come as to be worth the keeping in all future time. It will then have been proved that, '''among free men, there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and that they who take such appeal are sure to lose their case, and pay the cost.''' And then, '''there will be some black men who can remember that, with silent tongue, and clenched teeth, and steady eye, and well-poised bayonet, they have helped mankind on to this great consummation; while, I fear, there will be some white ones, unable to forget that, with malignant heart, and deceitful speech, they have strove to hinder it.'''

* Still let us not be over-sanguine of a speedy final triumph. Let us be quite sober. Let us diligently apply the means, never doubting that a just God, in his own good time, will give us the rightful result.

==== Thanksgiving Proclamation (1863) ====
[[File:Thanksgiving 1861 croped.jpg|thumb|No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November ... as a day of [[Thanksgiving]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/thanks.htm Abraham Lincoln: Proclamation of Thanksgiving (3 October 1863)]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''[[1863|The year that is drawing towards its close]], has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies.''' To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

* In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battlefield; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. '''No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People.'''

* '''I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.''' And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national [[perverseness]] and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

==== [[w: Gettysburg Address|The Gettysburg Address]] (1863) ====
[[File:Battle of Gettysburg.jpg |thumb|We here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth]]
{{Recording|Gettysburg by Britton.ogg}}
:&lt;small&gt;The Gettysburg Address, honoring Union soldiers at the dedication of the [[w:Gettysburg National Cemetery|Soldiers National Cemetery at Gettysburg]] (19 November 1863), based on the signed &quot;Bliss Copy&quot; - [[s:Gettysburg Address|Full text online at Wikisource]] &lt;/small&gt;

* '''Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on [[w:North America|this continent]], a [[United States|new nation]], conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.''' We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. '''But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow, this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.''' It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that '''we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.'''

==== Proclamation of Amnesty and Reconstruction (1863) ====
[[File:Lincoln and Johnsond.jpg|thumb|I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, do proclaim, declare, and make known to all persons who have, directly or by implication, participated in the existing rebellion, except as hereinafter excepted, that a full pardon is hereby granted to them and each of them, with restoration of all rights of property, except as to slaves, and in property cases [...]. ]]
[[File:Waud - 1867 - The First Vote.jpg|thumb|I do further proclaim, declare, and make known that any provision which may be adopted by such State government in relation to the freed people of such State, which shall recognize and declare their permanent freedom, provide for their education, and which may yet be consistent, as a temporary arrangement, with their present condition as a laboring, landless, and homeless class, will not be objected to by the national Executive.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/proc-4.htm The History Place - Abraham Lincoln: Proclamation of Amnesty and Reconstruction (December 8, 1863]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, do proclaim, declare, and make known to all persons who have, directly or by implication, participated in the existing rebellion, except as hereinafter excepted, that a full pardon is hereby granted to them and each of them, with restoration of all rights of property, except as to slaves, and in property cases where rights of third parties shall have intervened, and upon the condition that every such person shall take and subscribe an oath, and thenceforward keep and maintain said oath inviolate; and which oath shall be registered for permanent preservation''', and shall be of the tenor and effect following, to wit:

* &quot;'''I, ……………, do solemnly swear, in presence of Almighty God, that I will henceforth faithfully support, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, and the union of the States thereunder; and that I will, in like manner, abide by and faithfully support all acts of Congress passed during the existing rebellion with reference to slaves, so long and so far as not repealed, modified or held void by Congress, or by decision of the Supreme Court; and that I will, in like manner, abide by and faithfully support all proclamations of the President made during the existing rebellion having reference to slaves, so long and so far as not modified or declared void by decision of the Supreme Court. So help me God.'''&quot;

* '''The persons excepted from the benefits of the foregoing provisions are all who are, or shall have been, civil or [[Diplomacy|diplomatic officers]] or agents of the so-called [[Confederate States of America|confederate government]]; all who have left judicial stations under the United States to aid the rebellion; all who are, or shall have been, military or naval officers of said so-called confederate government above the rank of colonel in the army, or of lieutenant in the navy; all who left seats in the United States Congress to aid the rebellion; all who resigned commissions in the army or navy of the United States, and afterwards aided the rebellion; and all who have engaged in any way in treating colored persons or white persons, in charge of such, otherwise than lawfully as prisoners of war, and which persons may have been found in the United States service, as soldiers, seamen, or in any other capacity.'''

* And I do further proclaim, declare, and make known, that whenever, in any of the States of [[Arkansas]], [[Texas]], [[w:Louisiana|Louisiana]], [[Mississippi]], [[Tennessee]], [[Alabama]], [[Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]], [[Florida]], [[South Carolina]], and [[North Carolina]], a number of persons, not less than one-tenth in number of the votes cast in such State at the Presidential election of the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty, each having taken the oath aforesaid and not having since violated it, and being a qualified voter by the election law of the State existing immediately before the so-called act of secession, and excluding all others, shall re-establish a State government which shall be republican, and in no wise contravening said oath, such shall be recognized as the true government of the State, and the State shall receive thereunder the benefits of the constitutional provision which declares that &quot;The United States shall guaranty to every State in this union a republican form of government, and shall protect each of them against invasion; and, on application of the legislature, or the executive, (when the legislature cannot be convened,) against domestic violence.&quot;

* And '''I do further proclaim, declare, and make known that any provision which may be adopted by such State government in relation to the freed people of such State, which shall recognize and declare their permanent freedom, provide for their education, and which may yet be consistent, as a temporary arrangement, with their present condition as a laboring, landless, and homeless class, will not be objected to by the national Executive.''' And it is suggested as not improper, that, in constructing a loyal State government in any State, the name of the State, the boundary, the subdivisions, the constitution, and the general code of laws, as before the rebellion, be maintained, subject only to the modifications made necessary by the conditions hereinbefore stated, and such others, if any, not contravening said conditions, and which may be deemed expedient by those framing the new State government.

* To avoid misunderstanding, it may be proper to say that this proclamation, so far as it relates to State governments, has no reference to States wherein loyal State governments have all the while been maintained. And for the same reason, it may be proper to further say that whether members sent to Congress from any State shall be admitted to seats, constitutionally rests exclusively with the respective Houses, and not to any extent with the Executive. And still further, that this proclamation is intended to present the people of the States wherein the national authority has been suspended, and loyal State governments have been subverted, a mode in and by which the national authority and loyal State governments may be re-established within said States, or in any of them; and, while the mode presented is the best the Executive can suggest with his present impressions, it must not be understood that no other possible mode would be acceptable.

==== &quot;If Slavery Is Not Wrong, Nothing Is Wrong&quot; (1864) ====
[[File:President Lincoln writing the Proclamation of Freedom 18444u.jpg|thumb|If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong. I can not remember when I did not so think, and feel.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Letter (4 April 1864) to Albert G. Hodges, editor of the Frankfort, Kentucky, ''Commonwealth'' (recounting their conversation of 26 March 1864). {{cite web|url=http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/hodges.htm|title=Abraham Lincoln Online}}; [http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/treasures/trt027.html Manuscript at The Library of Congress]; also in ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VII, p. 281&lt;/small&gt;
:&lt;small&gt;This letter is a summary of a conversation which President Abraham Lincoln had with three Kentuckians: Governor Thomas E. Bramlette, Albert Hodges, and Archibald Dixon. Hodges was the editor of the Frankfort Commonwealth and Dixon served in the U.S. Senate from 1852 to 1855. Bramlette had protested the recruiting of black regiments in Kentucky. The letter offers an excellent glimpse into Lincoln's thinking about his constitutional responsibility and why he changed his inaugural position of non-interference with slavery to one of emancipation. He said, &quot;I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me.&quot; Lincoln closed with a reference to slavery that is reminiscent of his inaugural address of 1865: &quot;If God now wills the removal of a great wrong, and wills also that we of the North as well as you of the South, shall pay fairly for our complicity in that wrong, impartial history will find therein new cause to attest and revere the justice and goodness of God.&quot; • [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/hodges.htm Abraham Lincoln Online - Section Speeches and writings: Letter to Albert G. Hodges]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lincoln-Warren-1865-03-06.jpeg|thumb|I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me.]]

* '''I am naturally anti-slavery. If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong. I can not remember when I did not so think, and feel. And yet I have never understood that the Presidency conferred upon me an unrestricted right to act officially upon this judgment and feeling. It was in the oath I took that I would, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States. I could not take the office without taking the oath. Nor was it my view that I might take an oath to get power, and break the oath in using the power. I understood, too, that in ordinary civil administration this oath even forbade me to practically indulge my primary abstract judgment on the moral question of slavery. I had publicly declared this many times, and in many ways. And I aver that, to this day, I have done no official act in mere deference to my abstract judgment and feeling on slavery.''' I did understand however, that my oath to preserve the constitution to the best of my ability, imposed upon me the duty of preserving, by every indispensable means, that government — that nation — of which that constitution was the organic law.

* '''Was it possible to lose the nation, and yet preserve the constitution? By general law life and limb must be protected; yet often a limb must be amputated to save a life; but a life is never wisely given to save a limb. I felt that measures, otherwise unconstitutional, might become lawful, by becoming indispensable to the preservation of the constitution, through the preservation of the nation.''' Right or wrong, I assumed this ground, and now avow it. '''I could not feel that, to the best of my ability, I had even tried to preserve the constitution, if, to save slavery, or any minor matter, I should permit the wreck of government, country, and Constitution all together.'''

* When, early in the war, Gen. Fremont attempted military emancipation, I forbade it, because I did not then think it an indispensable necessity. When a little later, Gen. Cameron, then Secretary of War, suggested the arming of the blacks, I objected, because I did not yet think it an indispensable necessity. When, still later, Gen. Hunter attempted military emancipation, I again forbade it, because I did not yet think the indispensable necessity had come. When, in March, and May, and July 1862 I made earnest, and successive appeals to the border states to favor compensated emancipation, I believed the indispensable necessity for military emancipation, and arming the blacks would come, unless averted by that measure. They declined the proposition; and I was, in my best judgment, driven to the alternative of either surrendering the Union, and with it, the Constitution, or of laying strong hand upon the colored element. I chose the latter. In choosing it, I hoped for greater gain than loss; but of this, I was not entirely confident. More than a year of trial now shows no loss by it in our foreign relations, none in our home popular sentiment, none in our white military force, — no loss by it any how or any where. On the contrary, it shows a gain of quite a hundred and thirty thousand soldiers, seamen, and laborers. These are palpable facts, about which, as facts, there can be no cavilling. We have the men; and we could not have had them without the measure.

* And now let any Union man who complains of the measure, test himself by writing down in one line that he is for subduing the rebellion by force of arms; and in the next, that he is for taking these hundred and thirty thousand men from the Union side, and placing them where they would be but for the measure he condemns. If he can not face his case so stated, it is only because he can not face the truth.

* In telling this tale I attempt no compliment to my own sagacity. '''I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me.''' Now, at the end of three years struggle the nation's condition is not what either party, or any man devised, or expected. God alone can claim it. Whither it is tending seems plain. '''If God now wills the removal of a great wrong, and wills also that we of the North as well as you of the South, shall pay fairly for our complicity in that wrong, impartial history will find therein new cause to attest and revere the justice and goodness of God.'''

==== [[s:Speeches to Ohio Regiments|Speeches to Ohio Regiments]] (1864) ====
===== Speech to the One Hundred Sixty-fourth Ohio Regiment =====
:&lt;small&gt;Delivered at Washington, D.C., on August 18, 1864&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:9th New York Infantry Regiment charging the Confederate right at Antietam army.mil-2008-09-10-145623.jpg|thumb|I wish it might be more generally and universally understood what the country is now engaged in. We have, as all will agree, a free Government, where [[w:All men are created equal|every man has a right to be equal with every other man]].]]
[[File:The Star-Spangled Banner - Project Gutenberg eText 21566.jpg|thumb|In this [[American Civil War|great struggle]], this [[w:Form of government|form of Government]] and every form of human right is endangered if our enemies succeed. There is more involved in this contest than is realized by everyone.]]
* Soldiers — You are about to return to your homes and your friends, after having, as I learn, performed in camp a comparatively short term of duty in [[American Civil War|this great contest]]. I am greatly obliged to you, and to all who have come forward at the call of their country.

* '''I wish it might be more generally and universally understood what the country is now engaged in. We have, as all will agree, a free Government, where [[w:All men are created equal|every man has a right to be equal with every other man]]. In this [[American Civil War|great struggle]], this [[w:Form of government|form of Government]] and every form of human right is endangered if our enemies succeed. There is more involved in this contest than is realized by every one. There is involved in this struggle the question whether your children and my children shall enjoy the privileges we have enjoyed.'''

* I say this in order to impress upon you, if you are not already so impressed, that '''no small matter should divert us from our great purpose.''' There may be some irregularities in the practical application of our system. '''It is fair that each man shall pay taxes in exact proportion to the value of his property; but if we should wait before collecting a tax to adjust the taxes upon each man in exact proportion with every other man, we should never collect any tax at all.''' There may be mistakes made sometimes; things may be done wrong while the officers of the Government do all they can to prevent mistakes. But I beg of you, as citizens of this great Republic, not to let your minds to carried off from the great work we have before us. '''This struggle is too large for you to be diverted from it by any small matter.'''

* When you return to your homes rise up to the height of a generation of men worthy of a free Government, and we will carry out the great work we have commenced. I return to you my sincere thanks, soldiers, for the honor you have done me this afternoon.

===== Speech to the One Hundred Sixty-sixth Ohio Regiment =====
:&lt;small&gt;Speech to the One Hundred Sixty-sixth Ohio Regiment, Washington, D.C. (22 August 1864)&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:1860s White House.jpg|thumb|I beg you to remember this, not merely for my sake, but for yours. I happen temporarily to occupy this big [[w:White House|White House]]. I am a living witness that any one of your children may look to come here as my father's child has.]]

* I suppose you are going home to see your families and friends. For the service you have done in this great struggle in which we are engaged I present you sincere thanks for myself and the country.

* I almost always feel inclined, when I happen to say anything to soldiers, to impress upon them in a few brief remarks the importance of success in this contest. '''It is not merely for to-day, but for all time to come that we should perpetuate for our children's children this great and free government, which we have enjoyed all our lives. I beg you to remember this, not merely for my sake, but for yours. I happen temporarily to occupy this big [[w:White House|White House]]. I am a living witness that any one of your children may look to come here as [[w:Abraham Lincoln|my father's child]] has.'''

* '''It is in order that each of you may have through this free government''' which we have enjoyed, '''an open field and a fair chance for your industry, enterprise and intelligence; that you may all have equal privileges in the race of life, with all its desirable human aspirations. It is for this the struggle should be maintained''', that we may not lose our birthright — not only for one, but for two or three years. '''The nation is worth fighting for, to secure such an inestimable jewel.'''

===== Speech to One Hundred Forty-eighth Ohio Regiment (1864)=====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln7/1:1155?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Speech to One Hundred Forty-eighth Ohio Regiment], Washington, D.C. (31 August 1864); ''The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln'' (1953) by Roy P. Basler, vol. 7, p. 528-529&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Lincoln taking the oath at his second inauguration.jpg|thumb|Nowhere in the world is presented a government of so much liberty and equality. To the humblest and poorest amongst us...]]

* SOLDIERS OF THE 148TH OHIO: — I am most happy to meet you on this occasion. I understand that it has been your honorable privilege to stand, for a brief period, in the defense of your country, and that now you are on your way to your homes. I congratulate you, and those who are waiting to bid you welcome home from the war; and permit me, in the name of the people, to thank you for the part you have taken in this struggle for the life of the nation. You are soldiers of the Republic, everywhere honored and respected. '''Whenever I appear before a body of soldiers, I feel tempted to talk to them of the nature of the struggle in which we are engaged. I look upon it as an attempt on the one hand to overwhelm and destroy the national existence, while, on our part, we are striving to maintain the government and institutions of our fathers, to enjoy them ourselves, and transmit them to our children and our children's children forever.'''

* To do this the constitutional administration of our government must be sustained, and I beg of you not to allow your minds or your hearts to be diverted from the support of all necessary measures for that purpose, by any miserable picayune arguments addressed to your pockets, or inflammatory appeals made to your passions or your prejudices.

* It is vain and foolish to arraign this man or that for the part he has taken, or has not taken, and to hold the government responsible for his acts. '''In no administration can there be perfect equality of action and uniform satisfaction rendered by all. But this government must be preserved in spite of the acts of any man or set of men.''' It is worthy your every effort. '''Nowhere in the world is presented a government of so much liberty and equality. To the humblest and poorest amongst us are held out the highest privileges and positions. The present moment finds me at the White House, yet there is as good a chance for your children as there was for my father's.'''

* Again I admonish you not to be turned from your stern purpose of defending your beloved country and its free institutions by any arguments urged by ambitious and designing men, but stand fast to the Union and [[Flag of the United States|the old flag]]. Soldiers, I bid you God-speed to your homes.

====Interview with Alexander W. Randall and Joseph T. Mills (1864)====
:&lt;small&gt;[http://quod.lib.umich.edu/l/lincoln/lincoln7/1:1109?rgn=div1;view=fulltext Interview with Alexander W. Randall and Joseph T. Mills (19 August 1864)]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:4th United States Colored Infantry.jpg|thumb|There have been men who have proposed to me to return to slavery the black warriors of Port Hudson and Olustee to their masters to conciliate the south. I should be damned in time and in eternity for so doing. The world shall know that I will keep my faith to friends and enemies, come what will.]]

* '''There have been men who have proposed to me to return to slavery the black warriors of Port Hudson and Olustee to their masters to conciliate the South. I should be damned in time and in eternity for so doing.''' The world shall know that I will keep my faith to friends and enemies, come what will.

*My enemies say I am now carrying on this war for the sole purpose of abolition. It is and will be carried on so long as I am President for the sole purpose of restoring the Union. '''But no human power can subdue this rebellion without using the Emancipation lever as I have done.'''

*'''Freedom has given us the control of 200,000 able bodied men, born and raised on southern soil. It will give us more yet.''' Just so much it has subtracted from the strength of our enemies, and instead of alienating the south from us, there are evidences of a fraternal feeling growing up between our own and rebel soldiers. My enemies condemn my emancipation policy. Let them prove by the history of this war, that we can restore the Union without it.

==== ''On Democratic Government'' (1864) ====
[[File:The Old Flag Never Touched the Ground.jpg|thumb|Gold is good in its place; but living, brave, and patriotic men are better than gold.]]
[[File:Frederick MD B&amp;O Station Lincoln Visit Oct 4 1862.jpg|thumb|May I ask those who have not differed with me to join with me in this same spirit towards those who have?]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2659/2659-h/2659-h.htm#2H_4_0273 Address to a congratulatory serenade on his reelection (10 November 1864)] which occurred two days after the [[w:United States presidential election, 1864|United States presidential election of 1864]]; in &quot;The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Seven, Constitutional Edition&quot;, edited by Arthur Brooks Lapsley and released as &quot;The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Seven, by Abraham Lincoln&quot; by Project Gutenberg on July 5, 2009.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''It has long been a grave question whether any government, not too strong for the liberties of its people, can be strong enough to maintain its existence in great emergencies.''' On this point the present rebellion brought our government to a severe test, and a presidential election occurring in regular course during the rebellion, added not a little to the strain.

* '''If the loyal people united were put to the utmost of their strength by the rebellion, must they not fail when divided and partially paralyzed by a political war among themselves? But the election was a necessity. We cannot have free government without elections'''; and if the election could force us to forego or postpone a national election, it might fairly claim to have already conquered and ruined us. '''The strife of the election is but human nature practically applied to the facts of the case. What has occurred in this case must ever recur in similar cases. Human nature will not change. In any future great national trial, compared with the men of this, we will have as weak and as strong, as silly and as wise, as bad and as good. Let us, therefore, study the incidents of this as philosophy to learn wisdom from, and none of them as wrongs to be revenged.'''

*''' But the election, along with its incidental and undesirable strife, has done good, too. It has demonstrated that a people's government can sustain a national election in the midst of a great civil war. Until now, it has not been known to the world that this was a possibility.''' It shows, also, how sound and strong we still are. It shows that even among the candidates of the same party, he who is most devoted to the Union and most opposed to treason can receive most of the people's votes. It shows, also, to the extent yet known, that we have more men now than we had when the war began. '''Gold is good in its place; but living, brave, and patriotic men are better than gold.'''

* '''But the rebellion continues, and, now that the election is over, may not all have a common interest to reunite in a common effort to save our common country?''' For my own part, I have striven and shall strive to avoid placing any obstacle in the way. So long as I have been here, I have not willingly planted a thorn in any man's bosom. While I am duly sensible to the high compliment of a re-election, and duly grateful, as I trust, to Almighty God, for having directed my countrymen to a right conclusion, as I think, for their good, it adds nothing to my satisfaction that any other man may be disappointed by the result.

* '''May I ask those who have not differed with me to join with me in this same spirit towards those who have?''' And now, let me close by asking three hearty cheers for our brave soldiers and seamen, and their gallant and skillful commanders.

==== [[w:Abraham Lincoln's second inaugural address|Second Inaugural Address]] (1865) ====
:&lt;small&gt;[[s:Abraham_Lincoln's_Second_Inaugural_Address|Second Inaugural Address (4 March 1865)]]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Battle of Milliken's Bend.jpg|thumb|Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself; and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured...]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln second inaugural address.jpg|thumb|On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago, all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it — all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war — seeking to dissolve the Union, and divide effects, by negotiation...]]
[[File:Bodies on the battlefield at antietam.jpg|thumb|Both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish, and the war came...]]
[[File:Lincoln Memorial (north wall interior).jpg|thumb|One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that [[Slavery|this interest]] was somehow the cause of [[American Civil War|the war]]. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend [[Slavery|this interest]] was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union, even by war...]]
[[File:Seal of the Confederate States of America.svg|thumb|Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just [[God]]'s assistance in [[Slavery|wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces]]; but let us judge not that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully...]]
[[File:Drawing of Dead Soldiers on Antietam battlefield.jpg|thumb|Fondly do we hope — fervently do we pray — that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword...]]
[[File:Peace at the End of the Civil War.jpg|thumb|With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds...]]

*Fellow countrymen: At this second appearing to take the oath of the presidential office, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement, somewhat in detail, of a course to be pursued, seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of [[American Civil War|the great contest which still absorbs the attention and engrosses the energies of]] [[United States|the nation]], little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself; and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

*On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago, all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it — all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war — seeking to dissolve the Union, and divide effects, by negotiation. '''Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.'''

*One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These '''slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that [[Slavery|this interest]] was somehow the cause of [[American Civil War|the war]].''' To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend [[Slavery|this interest]] was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union, even by war; while the government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of [[Slavery|it]].

* Neither party expected for the war, the magnitude, or the duration, which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the ''[[Slavery|cause]]'' of the conflict might cease with, or even before, [[American Civil War|the conflict itself]] should cease. '''Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just [[God]]'s assistance in [[Slavery|wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces]]; but let us judge not that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully.'''
** Lincoln was alluding to [[Jesus]]' words in in Matthew 7:1 &quot;Judge not, that ye be not judged.&quot; (KJV)

* The Almighty has his own purposes. 'Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh.' If we shall suppose that American [[Slavery]] is one of those offences which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South, [[American Civil War|this terrible war]], as the woe due to those by whom [[Slavery|the offence]] came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a Living God always ascribe to Him? '''Fondly do we hope — fervently do we pray — that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said, [[s:Bible (King James)/Psalms#19:9|'The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.']]'''

* '''With malice toward none, with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan — to do all which may achieve and cherish a just, and a lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations.'''

====Tour of Richmond (1865)====
[[File:Promulgation of Manifesto of Emancipation the Peasant. Signakhi, Kakheti. 1864.jpg|thumb|Don't kneel to me, that is not right. You must kneel to God only, and thank him for the liberty you will hereafter enjoy. I am but God's humble instrument; but you may rest assured that as long as I live no one shall put a shackle on your limbs; and you shall have all the rights which God has given to every other free citizen of this republic.]]
[[File:Harriet Tubman Civil War Woodcut.jpg|thumb|God has made you free. Although you have been deprived of your God-given rights by your so-called masters, you are now as free as I am, and if those that claim to be your superiors do not know that you are free, take the sword and bayonet and teach them that you are; for God created all men free, giving to each the same rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.]]
[[File:Empancipation proclomation.jpg|thumb|As long as I live no one shall put a shackle on your limbs; and you shall have all the rights which God has given to every other free citizen of this republic.]]
[[File:Libby Prison, Richmond, 05-1865 - NARA - 533454.tif|thumb|No, leave it as a monument.]]

* '''Don't kneel to me, that is not right. You must kneel to God only, and thank him for the liberty you will hereafter enjoy.''' I am but God's humble instrument; but you may rest assured that '''as long as I live no one shall put a shackle on your limbs; and you shall have all the rights which God has given to every other free citizen of this republic.'''
** After witnessing a man bow down to him. In Richmond, Virginia (April 4, 1865), as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by David Dixon Porter, p. 295

* '''My poor friends, you are free, free as air. You can cast off the name of slave and trample upon it; it will come to you no more. Liberty is your birthright. God gave it to you as He gave it to others, and it is a sin that you have been deprived of it for so many years.''' But you must try to deserve this priceless boon. Let the world see that you merit it, and are able to maintain it by your good works. Don't let your joy carry you into excesses. Learn the laws and obey them; obey God's commandments and thank Him for giving you liberty, for to Him you owe all things. There, now, let me pass on; I have but little time to spare. I want to see the capital, and must return at once to Washington to secure to you that liberty which you seem to prize so highly.
** To a group of freed slaves. In Richmond, Virginia (April 4, 1865), as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by David Dixon Porter, p. 297

* In reference to you, colored people, let me say '''God has made you free.''' Although you have been deprived of your God-given rights by your so-called masters, you are now as free as I am, and if those that claim to be your superiors do not know that you are free, take the sword and bayonet and teach them that you are; for '''God created all men free, giving to each the same rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.'''
** In Richmond, Virginia (April 4, 1865), as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20130517052731/http://mrlincolnandfreedom.org/inside.asp?ID=84&amp;subjectID=3 ''Recollected Words of Abraham Lincoln''] (1996), by Don Edward Fehrenbacher and Virginia Fehrenbacher, editor, p. 257

* No, leave it as a [[monument]].
** In response to talk of demolishing [[w:Libby Prison|Libby Prison]]. In Richmond, Virginia (April 4, 1865), as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by David Dixon Porter, p. 299

* They will never shoulder a musket again in anger, and if [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] is wise, he will leave them their guns to shoot crows with and their horses to plow with. It would do no harm.
** Regarding the treatment of former Confederate soldiers. In Richmond, Virginia (April 4, 1865), as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by David Dixon Porter, p. 312

====Last public address (1865)====
:&lt;small&gt;[https://web.archive.org/web/20140327204307/http://abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/last.htm Last public address at the White House (11 April 1865)]&lt;/small&gt;

*We meet this evening, not in sorrow, but in gladness of heart. The evacuation of Petersburg and Richmond, and the surrender of the [[w:Army of Northern Virginia|principal insurgent army]], give hope of a righteous and speedy peace whose joyous expression can not be restrained. In the midst of this, however, He from whom all blessings flow, must not be forgotten. A call for a national thanksgiving is being prepared, and will be duly promulgated. Nor must those whose harder part gives us the cause of rejoicing, be overlooked. Their honors must not be parcelled out with others. I myself was near the front, and had the high pleasure of transmitting much of the good news to you; but no part of the honor, for plan or execution, is mine. To General Grant, his skilful officers, and brave men, all belongs. The gallant Navy stood ready, but was not in reach to take active part.

*By these recent successes the re-inauguration of the national authority — reconstruction — which has had a large share of thought from the first, is pressed much more closely upon our attention. It is fraught with great difficulty. Unlike a case of a war between independent nations, there is no authorized organ for us to treat with. No one man has authority to give up the rebellion for any other man. We simply must begin with, and mould from, disorganized and discordant elements. Nor is it a small additional embarrassment that we, the loyal people, differ among ourselves as to the mode, manner, and means of reconstruction.

*As a general rule, I abstain from reading the reports of attacks upon myself, wishing not to be provoked by that to which I can not properly offer an answer. In spite of this precaution, however, it comes to my knowledge that I am much censured for some supposed agency in setting up, and seeking to sustain, the new State government of Louisiana. In this I have done just so much as, and no more than, the public knows. In the Annual Message of Dec. 1863 and accompanying Proclamation, I presented a plan of [[Reconstruction era|re-construction]] (as the phrase goes) which, I promised, if adopted by any State, should be acceptable to, and sustained by, the Executive government of the nation. I distinctly stated that this was not the only plan which might possibly be acceptable; and I also distinctly protested that the Executive claimed no right to say when, or whether members should be admitted to seats in Congress from such States. This plan was, in advance, submitted to the then Cabinet, and distinctly approved by every member of it. One of them suggested that I should then, and in that connection, apply the Emancipation Proclamation to the theretofore excepted parts of Virginia and Louisiana; that I should drop the suggestion about apprenticeship for freed-people, and that I should omit the protest against my own power, in regard to the admission of members to Congress; but even he approved every part and parcel of the plan which has since been employed or touched by the action of Louisiana. The new constitution of Louisiana, declaring emancipation for the whole State, practically applies the Proclamation to the part previously excepted. It does not adopt apprenticeship for freed-people; and it is silent, as it could not well be otherwise, about the admission of members to Congress. So that, as it applies to Louisiana, every member of the Cabinet fully approved the plan. The message went to Congress, and I received many commendations of the plan, written and verbal; and not a single objection to it, from any professed emancipationist, came to my knowledge, until after the news reached Washington that the people of Louisiana had begun to move in accordance with it. From about July 1862, I had corresponded with different persons, supposed to be interested, seeking a reconstruction of a State government for Louisiana. When the message of 1863, with the plan before mentioned, reached [[w:New Orleans|New-Orleans]], General Banks wrote me that he was confident the people, with his military co-operation, would reconstruct, substantially on that plan. I wrote him, and some of them to try it; they tried it, and the result is known. Such only has been my agency in getting up the Louisiana government. As to sustaining it, my promise is out, as before stated. But, as bad promises are better broken than kept, I shall treat this as a bad promise, and break it, whenever I shall be convinced that keeping it is adverse to the public interest. But I have not yet been so convinced.

*I have been shown a letter on this subject, supposed to be an able one, in which the writer expresses regret that my mind has not seemed to be definitely fixed on the question whether the seceding States, so called, are in the Union or out of it. It would perhaps, add astonishment to his regret, were he to learn that since I have found professed Union men endeavoring to make that question, I have purposely forborne any public expression upon it. As appears to me that question has not been, nor yet is, a practically material one, and that any discussion of it, while it thus remains practically immaterial, could have no effect other than the mischievous one of dividing our friends. As yet, whatever it may hereafter become, that question is bad, as the basis of a controversy, and good for nothing at all — a merely pernicious abstraction.

*We all agree that the seceded States, so called, are out of their proper relation with the Union; and that the sole object of the government, civil and military, in regard to those States is to again get them into that proper practical relation. I believe it is not only possible, but in fact, easier to do this, without deciding, or even considering, whether these States have ever been out of the Union, than with it. Finding themselves safely at home, it would be utterly immaterial whether they had ever been abroad. Let us all join in doing the acts necessary to restoring the proper practical relations between these States and the Union; and each forever after, innocently indulge his own opinion whether, in doing the acts, he brought the States from without, into the Union, or only gave them proper assistance, they never having been out of it.

*The amount of constituency, so to speak, on which the new Louisiana government rests, would be more satisfactory to all, if it contained fifty, thirty, or even twenty thousand, instead of only about twelve thousand, as it does. '''It is also unsatisfactory to some that the elective franchise is not given to the colored man. I would myself prefer that it were now conferred on the very intelligent, and on those who serve our cause as soldiers'''. Still the question is not whether the Louisiana government, as it stands, is quite all that is desirable. The question is, &quot;Will it be wiser to take it as it is, and help to improve it; or to reject, and disperse it?&quot; &quot;Can Louisiana be brought into proper practical relation with the Union sooner by sustaining, or by discarding her new State government?&quot;

*Some twelve thousand voters in the heretofore slave-state of Louisiana have sworn allegiance to the Union, assumed to be the rightful political power of the State, held elections, organized a State government, adopted a free-state constitution, giving the benefit of public schools equally to black and white, and empowering the Legislature to confer the elective franchise upon the colored man. Their Legislature has already voted to ratify the constitutional amendment recently passed by Congress, abolishing slavery throughout the nation. These twelve thousand persons are thus fully committed to the Union, and to perpetual freedom in the state — committed to the very things, and nearly all the things the nation wants — and they ask the nations recognition and it's assistance to make good their committal. Now, if we reject, and spurn them, we do our utmost to disorganize and disperse them. We in effect say to the white men &quot;You are worthless, or worse — we will neither help you, nor be helped by you.&quot; To the blacks we say &quot;This cup of liberty which these, your old masters, hold to your lips, we will dash from you, and leave you to the chances of gathering the spilled and scattered contents in some vague and undefined when, where, and how.&quot; If this course, discouraging and paralyzing both white and black, has any tendency to bring Louisiana into proper practical relations with the Union, I have, so far, been unable to perceive it. If, on the contrary, we recognize, and sustain the new government of Louisiana the converse of all this is made true. We encourage the hearts, and nerve the arms of the twelve thousand to adhere to their work, and argue for it, and proselyte for it, and fight for it, and feed it, and grow it, and ripen it to a complete success. The colored man too, in seeing all united for him, is inspired with vigilance, and energy, and daring, to the same end. Grant that he desires the elective franchise, will he not attain it sooner by saving the already advanced steps toward it, than by running backward over them? Concede that the new government of Louisiana is only to what it should be as the egg is to the fowl, we shall sooner have the fowl by hatching the egg than by smashing it? Again, if we reject Louisiana, we also reject one vote in favor of the proposed amendment to the national Constitution. To meet this proposition, it has been argued that no more than three fourths of those States which have not attempted secession are necessary to validly ratify the amendment. I do not commit myself against this, further than to say that such a ratification would be questionable, and sure to be persistently questioned; while a ratification by three-fourths of all the States would be unquestioned and unquestionable.

*I repeat the question, 'Can Louisiana be brought into proper practical relation with the Union sooner by sustaining or by discarding her new State Government?'

*What has been said of Louisiana will apply generally to other States. And yet so great peculiarities pertain to each state, and such important and sudden changes occur in the same state; and withal, so new and unprecedented is the whole case, that no exclusive, and inflexible plan can be safely prescribed as to details and colatterals. Such exclusive, and inflexible plan, would surely become a new entanglement. Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.

*In the present &quot;situation&quot; as the phrase goes, it may be my duty to make some new announcement to the people of the South. I am considering, and shall not fail to act, when satisfied that action will be proper.

== Posthumous attributions ==
:&lt;small&gt;Soon after his death, Lincoln became popular as a &quot;wise man&quot; to whom quotations were often attributed, and attributions without specific contemporary sources should be viewed skeptically. These attributions are arranged chronologically.&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Abraham Lincoln-1864-3a13576v.jpg|thumb| If I were to try to [[read]], much less answer, all the [[attacks]] made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other [[business]].]]
[[File:American Civil War Chaplain.JPG|thumb|We, on our side, are [[praying]] Him to give us [[victory]], because we believe we are right; but those on the other side pray to Him, look for victory, believing they are right. What must He think of us?]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln by George Peter Alexander Healy.jpg|thumb|If the [[end]] brings me out all right, what's [[said]] against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten [[angels]] swearing I was right would make no difference.]]
[[File:1865 Abraham Lincoln O-103c.jpg|thumb|I want it said of me by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a [[flower]] where I thought a flower would [[grow]].]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln Brady CDV O-86 January 8, 1864.JPG|thumb|I am not bound to [[win]], but I am bound to be [[true]]. I am not bound to [[succeed]], but I am bound to live up to the [[light]] I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right — stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes [[wrong]].]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln seated, Feb 9, 1864.jpg|thumb|As I would not be a [[slave]], so I would not be a master. This expresses my [[idea]] of [[democracy]]. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.]]
[[File:Thure de Thulstrup - Battle of Shiloh.jpg|thumb|I know there is a [[God]], and that He hates injustice and [[slavery]]. I see the [[storm]] coming, and I know that His [[hand]] is in it. If He has a place and [[work]] for me — and I think He has — I [[believe]] I am ready. I am [[nothing]], but [[truth]] is everything. I know I am right because I know that [[liberty]] is right, for [[Christ]] [[teaches]] it, and Christ is God. I have told them that a house divided against itself cannot stand, and Christ and [[reason]] say the same; and they will find it so...]]
[[File:The Gallant Charge of the Fifty-Fourth Massachusetts Colored Regiment (1863), Currier and Ives.jpg|thumb|Without the [[military]] [[help]] of the black freedman, [[American Civil War|the war against the South]] could not have been won.]]

* Dear Sir: Yours of the tenth received. I am well acquainted with Mr. __, and know his characteristics. First of all, he has a wife and baby; together they ought to be worth $50,000 to any man. Then he has an office, in which there will be a table worth $1.50, and three chairs worth, say, $1. Last of all, there is in one corner a rat-hole which will bear looking into.
** Attributed at an unspecified date when Lincoln was a young lawyer, apparently first reported in the ''Prairie Farmer'' (March 13, 1886), Volume 58, p. 176. The quote, taken as a whole, has been explained to mean that Lincoln was giving a negative character reference, implying that the subject of that reference was not financially stable, and prone to let details slip.

*We, on our side, are praying Him to give us victory, because we believe we are right; but those on the other side pray to Him, look for victory, believing they are right. What must He think of us?
** Attributed in 1861, as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=3WMDAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA124&amp;dq=%22What+must+he+think+of+us%22 ''The Life of Abraham Lincoln: Drawn from Original Sources''] (1900), Volume 3, New York: Lincoln History Society, p. 124

* '''I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.'''
** Noah Brooks, scribe for the ''Sacramento Union'', writing in the ''Harper’s Weekly'' for July 1865, 3 months after Lincoln had died, reported that the Lincoln once said this, at an unspecified date; as reported in[http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/09/08/did-abraham-lincoln-actually-say-that-obama-quote.html &quot;Did Abraham Lincoln Actually Say That Obama Quote?&quot; by James M. Cornelius, ''The Daily Beast'' (9 August 2012)]

* The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.
** Conversation with private secretary John Hay (23 December 1863), describing a dream Lincoln had that evening, in ''Abraham Lincoln : A History'' (1890) by John Hay

* Without the military help of the black freedman, [[American Civil War|the war against the South]] could not have been won.
**As quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=8-dtOwigLNIC&amp;pg=PA8&amp;dq=freedman ''Freedom's Unfinished Revolution: An Inquiry Into the Civil War''], by William Friedheim and Ronald Jackson. 

* I cannot bring myself to believe that any human being lives who would do me any harm.
** Remark to Gen. Edward H. Ripley (5 April 1865), recalled during [http://books.google.com/books?id=1OoSAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA353&amp;dq=believe Ripley's speech] at the 41st annual meeting of the Reunion Society of Vermont Officers (1 November 1904)

* The measures provided at your last session for the removal of certain Indian tribes have been carried into effect. Sundry treaties have been negotiated, which will in due time be submitted for the constitutional action of the Senate. They contain stipulations for extinguishing the possessory rights of the Indians to large and valuable tracts of lands. It is hoped that the effect of these treaties will result in the establishment of permanent friendly relations with such of these tribes as have been brought into frequent and bloody collision with our outlying settlements and emigrants. '''Sound policy and our imperative duty to these wards of the Government demand our anxious and constant attention to their material well-being, to their progress in the arts of civilization, and, above all, to that moral training which under the blessing of Divine Providence will confer upon them the elevated and sanctifying influences, the hopes and consolations, of the Christian faith.''' I suggested in my last annual message the propriety of remodeling our Indian system. Subsequent events have satisfied me of its necessity. The details set forth in the report of the Secretary evince the urgent need for immediate legislative action.
** Lincoln's Annual Message (9 December 1863), published in the [http://books.google.es/books?id=bKAFAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA30&amp;q=influences ''Journal of the House of Representatives : First Session of the Thirty-eighth Congress '' (1863), p. 30], United States Congressional Serial set, N° 1179

* '''All that I am, or [[hope]] to be, I owe to my [[angel]] mother.'''
** Attributed in ''The Life of Abraham Lincoln'' (1866) by Josiah G. Holland, p. 23; also in ''The Real Life of Abraham Lincoln'' (1867) by George Alfred Townsend, p. 6; according to Townsend, Lincoln made this remark to his law partner, William Herndon. It is disputed whether this quote refers to Lincoln's natural mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, who died when he was nine years old, or to his stepmother, Sarah Bush (Johnston) Lincoln.

* '''I know there is a God, and that He hates injustice and slavery. I see the storm coming, and I know that His hand is in it. If He has a place and work for me — and I think He has — I believe I am ready. I am nothing, but truth is everything. I know I am right because I know that liberty is right, for Christ teaches it, and Christ is God.''' I have told them that a house divided against itself cannot stand, and Christ and reason say the same; and they will find it so. [[Stephen A. Douglas|Douglas]] doesn't care whether slavery is voted up or voted down, but '''God cares, and humanity cares, and I care; and with God’s help I shall not fail. I may not see the end; but it will come and I shall be vindicated'''; and these men will find that they have not read their Bibles aright.
** Anecdote recorded as something that Lincoln said in a conversation with educator Newman Bateman in the Autumn of 1860, in ''Life of Abraham Lincoln'' (1866) by [[w:Josiah Gilbert Holland|Josiah Gilbert Holland]], Chapter XVI, p. 287&lt;!-- University of Nebraska Press --&gt;

* '''If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business.''' I do the very best I know how — the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. '''If the end brings me out all right, what's said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.'''
** As quoted in ''The Life and Public Service of Abraham Lincoln'' (1865) by Henry J. Raymond

*'''Well, I cannot run the political machine; I have enough on my hands without ''that''. It is the ''people's'' business, - the election is in their hands. If they turn their backs to the fire, and get ''scorched'' in the rear, they'll find they have got to ’''sit'' ’ on the ’blister’!'''
** Attributed by Francis Bicknell Carpenter, reporting what a &quot;friend, the private secretary of a cabinet minister&quot;, told him about a conversation with Lincoln, whom the friend had met alone in the White House in August 1864. ''Six Months at the White House with Abraham Lincoln. The Story of a Picture.'' New York 1866, [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=Ny0OAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA275&amp;dq=blister p. 275] 

* '''It's my experience that folks who have no vices have generally very few virtues.'''
** According to ''The Inner Life of Abraham Lincoln'' (1867) by F. B. Carpenter, Lincoln quoted this as having been said to him by a fellow-passenger in a stagecoach. See also &quot;Washington during the War&quot;, ''Macmillan's Magazine'' [http://books.google.com/books?id=rB4AAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA24&amp;dq=folks 6:24] (May 1862)

* What is to be, will be, and no prayers of ours can arrest the decree.
** As quoted in ''The World's Sages, Thinkers and Reformers'' (1876) by D. M. Bennett

* '''Perhaps a man's character was like a tree, and his reputation like its shadow; the shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.'''
** As quoted in &quot;Lincoln's Imagination&quot; by Noah Brooks, in [http://books.google.com/books?id=jOoGAQAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA586 ''Scribner's Monthly'' (August 1879), p. 586]

* '''I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.'''
** Attributed in ''Lincoln Memorial'' (1882) edited by Osborn Oldroyd

* All through life, be sure and put your feet in the right place, and then stand firm.
** As recalled by Rebecca R. Pomroy in ''Echoes from hospital and White House'' (1884), by Anna L. Boyden, [http://books.google.com/books?id=7LZiAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA61&amp;dq=feet p. 61]

* Well, for people that like that sort of thing, I think it is just about the sort of thing they would like.
** Attributed to &quot;an American President&quot; in Ármin Vámbéry (1884), ''All the Year Round''. It more likely originates in a spoof testimonial that [[w:Charles Farrar Browne|Artemus Ward (Charles Farrar Browne)]] wrote in an advertisement in 1863:
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I have never heard any of your lectures, but from what I can learn I should say that for people who like the kind of lectures you deliver, they are just the kind of lectures such people like.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yours respectfully,&lt;br /&gt;O. Abe&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;!-- According to David C. Mearns, Lincoln Herald 67:102 (Summer 1965), such an
advertisement appears in the Norfolk County Journal of Roxbury, Massachusetts, on November 7, 1863. See also
John J. Pullen &quot;Who Wrote 'The World's Best Book Review'&quot;?,
New England Quarterly, 59:252-259 (Jun., 1986)
http://www.jstor.org/stable/365681--&gt;

* Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
** As quoted in ''Excellent Quotations for Home and School'' (1888) by Julia B. Hoitt, p. 97; no attribution of this phrase to any existing Lincoln document could be located.

* '''When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, and that's my religion.'''
** Quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=rywOAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA439&amp;dq=%22when+i+do+good+i+feel+good%22 3:439 ''Herndon's Lincoln'' (1890), p. 439]: ''Inasmuch as he was so often a candidate for public office Mr. Lincoln said as little about his religious code as possible, especially if he failed to coincide with the orthodox world. In illustration of his religious code I once heard him say that it was like that of an old man named Glenn, in Indiana, whom he heard speak at a church meeting, and who said: &quot;When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, and that's my religion.&quot;''

* '''I want it said of me by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.'''
** Recalled in a letter from [[w:Joshua Fry Speed|Joshua Speed]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=rywOAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA527&amp;dq=%22plucked+a+thistle+and+planted+a+flower%22 ''Herndon's Lincoln'' (1890), p. 527]

* I do not consider that I have ever accomplished anything without God; and if it is His will that I must die by the hand of an assassin, I must be resigned. I must do my duty as I see it, and leave the rest with God.
** As quoted in ''Life on the Circuit with Lincoln'' (1892) by Henry Clay Witney

* I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
** As quoted in ''The Early Life of Abraham Lincoln'' (1896) by Ida Tarbell

* So you're the little woman who wrote the book that made this great war!
** Comment on meeting [[w:Harriet Beecher Stowe|Harriet Beecher Stowe]], author of [[w:Uncle Tom's Cabin|Uncle Tom's Cabin]], according to Charles Edward Stowe, Lyman Beecher Stowe, &quot;How Mrs. Stowe wrote 'Uncle Tom's Cabin'&quot;, McClure's magazine [http://books.google.com/books?id=biAAAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA621&amp;dq=%22little+woman+who+wrote+the+book+that+made+this+great+war%22 36:621] (April 1911), with a footnote stating: &quot;Mr. Charles Edward Stowe, one of the authors of this article, accompanied his mother on this visit to Lincoln, and remembers the occasion distinctly.&quot;
** Variant: Her daughter was told that when the President heard her name he seized her hand, saying, &quot;'''Is this the little woman who made the great war'''?&quot;
*** Annie Fields, &quot;Days with Mrs. Stowe&quot;, Atlantic Monthly [http://books.google.com/books?id=8F0CAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA148&amp;dq=%22Is+this+the+little+woman+who+made+the+great+war%22 7:148] (August 1896)
** Variant: So you are the little woman who caused this great war!

* I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
** Recollection by Gilbert J. Greene, quoted in ''The Speaking Oak'' (1902) by Ferdinand C. Iglehart and ''Latest Light on Abraham Lincoln'' (1917) by Ervin S. Chapman

* '''I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right — stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong.'''
** Reported as an inscription quoting Lincoln in an English college in ''The Baptist Teacher for Sunday-school Workers'' : Vol. 36 (August 1905), p. 483. The portion beginning with &quot;stand with anybody...&quot; is from the 16 October 1854 Peoria speech.. &lt;!-- also quoted in ''The Friend'' Vo. 79, No. 7 (26 August 1906) --&gt;

* '''As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.'''
** Written speech fragment presented by to the Chicago Veterans Druggist's Association in 1906 by Judge James B. Bradwell, who claimed to have received it from Mary Todd Lincoln. ''Collected Works'', [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;view=text;idno=lincoln2;rgn=div1;node=lincoln2%3A547 2:532]

* He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
** Attributed in ''Lincoln the Lawyer'' (1906) by Frederick Trevor Hill — Hill noted that he could find no record of whom Lincoln was insulting.

* I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.
** Included in ''Portrait-Life of Lincoln'' (1910) by Francis T Miller

*I never tire of reading [[w:Thomas Paine|Tom Paine]].
**As quoted in A Literary History of the American People‎ (1931) by Charles Angoff, p. 270

{{Disputed begin}}

== Attributed ==
&lt;small&gt;''Attributed: Quotes found in a ''reputable'' secondary source but not sourced to an original work. Read more at [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]].''&lt;/small&gt;
&lt;!-- [[File:Storming the castle (1860 election).jpg|thumb|Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?]] --&gt;
&lt;div id=&quot;I_do_love_Jesus&quot;&gt;

* Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
** This quote is not found in the various Lincoln sources which can be searched online (e.g. Gutenberg). Niether does Lincoln appear more generally to use the phrase &quot;making up {one's} mind&quot;. The saying was first quoted, ascribed to Lincoln but with no source given, in 1914 by [[Frank Crane]]&lt;ref&gt;https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/10/20/happy-minds/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CPeople%20are%20about%20as%20happy,up%20their%20minds%20to%20be.%E2%80%9D&amp;text=Remember%20Lincoln's%20saying%20that%20%E2%80%9Cfolks,up%20their%20minds%20to%20be.%E2%80%9D&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;Curiously in later books Crane, e.g. Four Minute Essays, 1919, Adventures in Common Sense, 1920, &quot;21&quot;, 1930, Crane mentions other routes to happiness and does not again use this quote.&lt;/ref&gt; and several times subsequently by him in altered versions. It was later quoted in ''How to Get What You Want'' (1917) by [[Orison Swett Marden]] (Thomas Y. Crowell Company, 1917), 74, again without source.&lt;ref&gt; Marden used a great many quotes in his writings, without giving sources. Whilst sources for many of the quotes can be found, this is not true for all. For instance he mentions another story in which Lincoln says &quot;Madam, you have not a peg to hang your case on&quot;; this also does not seem to found in Lincoln sources.&lt;/ref&gt; Alternative versions quoted are: &quot;I have found that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be&quot; and &quot;People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.&quot;

* After the failure of his first experimental explorations around Vicksburg, a committee of abolition war managers waited upon the President and demanded [[Ulysses S. Grant|the General]]’s removal, on the false charge that he was a whiskey drinker, and little better than a common drunkard. “Ah!” exclaimed Honest Old Abe, “you surprise me, gentlemen. But can you tell me where he gets his whiskey?” “We cannot, Mr. President. But why do you desire to know?” “Because, if I can only find out, I will send a barrel of this wonderful whiskey to every general in the army.”
** Statement first attributed in the ''New York Herald'', (September 18, 1863) in response to allegations his most successful general drank too much; as quoted in ''Wit and Wisdom of the American Presidents: A Book of Quotations'' (2000) by Joslyn T. Pine, p. 26. 
** When some one charged Gen. Grant, in the President’s hearing, with drinking too much liquor, Mr. Lincoln, recalling Gen. Grant’s successes, said that if he could find out what brand of whisky Grant drank, he would send a barrel of it to all the other commanders.
*** ''The New York Times'', October 30, 1863 
** Major Eckert asked Mr. Lincoln if the story of his interview with the complainant against General Grant was true. The story was: a growler called on the President and complained bitterly of General Grant’s drunkenness. The President inquired very solicitously, if the man could tell him where the General got his liquor. The man really was very sorry but couldn’t say where he did get it. The President replied that he would like very much to find out so he could get a quantity of it and send a barrel to all his Major Generals. Mr. Lincoln said he had heard the story before and it would be very good if he had said it, but he did not, and he supposed it was charged to him to give it currency. He then said the original of this story was in King George’s time. Bitter complaints were made to the King against his General Wolfe in which it was charged that he was mad. “Well,” said the King, “I wish he would bite some of my other Generals then.
*** Authenticity of quote first refuted in “The Military Telegraph During the Civil War in the United States” by William R. Plum, (1882). 

* When I left Springfield I asked the people to pray for me. I was not a Christian. When I buried my son, the severest trial of my life, I was not a Christian. But when I went to Gettysburg and saw the graves of thousands of our soldiers, I then and there consecrated myself to Christ. Yes, I ''do'' love Jesus.
** This anecdote apparently dates from [[Talk:Abraham Lincoln#I do love Jesus|1864 Massachusetts Sunday School Teachers' Convention]].
** This has been portrayed to have been Lincoln's &quot;reply&quot; to an unnamed Illinois clergyman when asked if he loved [[Jesus]], as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=pX5DEhCM9M0C&amp;pg=RA10-PA366&amp;lpg=RA10-PA366&amp;dq=%22and+saw+the+graves+of+thousands+of+our+soldiers%22&amp;source=web&amp;ots=Alddnu8KL8&amp;sig=IhhhPHp6tuB7FoiRI8c71w5NUH4#PRA10-PA365,M1 ''The Lincoln Memorial Album — Immortelles'' (1882) edited by Osborn H. Oldroyd [New York: G.W. Carleton &amp; Co. p. 366]
*** This incident must have appeared in print immediately after Lincoln's death, for I find it quoted in memorial addresses of May, 1865. Mr Oldroyd has endeavored to learn for me in what paper he found it and on whose authority it rests, but without result. He does not remember where he found it. It is inherently improbable, and rests on no adequate testimony. It ought to be wholly disregarded. The earliest reference I have found to the story in which Lincoln is alleged to have said to an unnamed Illinois minister, &quot;I do love Jesus&quot; is in a sermon preached in the Baptist Church of Oshkosh, Wisconsin, April 19, 1865, by Rev. W. W. Whitcomb, which was published in the Oshkosh ''Northwestern'', April 21, 1865, and in 1907 issued in pamphlet form by John E. Burton.
**** William Eleazar Barton (1920) ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=UDEOAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=RA1-PA208&amp;lpg=RA1-PA208&amp;dq=%22and+saw+the+graves+of+thousands+of+our+soldiers%22&amp;source=web&amp;ots=kDphIXKsy-&amp;sig=GclPy5wecnvSuGHYO2R1bhb6lUQ The Soul of Abraham Lincoln]''. Further discussion appears in ''They Never Said It'' (1989) by Paul F. Boller &amp; John George, p. 91.
&lt;/div&gt;

* You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
** This is probably the most famous of apparently apocryphal remarks attributed to Lincoln. Despite it being cited variously as from an 1856 speech, or a September 1858 speech in Clinton, Illinois, there are no known contemporary records or accounts substantiating that he ever made the statement. The earliest known appearance is October 29, 1886 in the [http://anotherhistoryblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/fooling-people-earlier.html ''Milwaukee Daily Journal'']. It later appeared in the ''New York Times'' on [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30817FF3E5413738DDDAF0A94D0405B8784F0D3 August 26] and [http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00E15FF3E5413738DDDAE0A94D0405B8784F0D3 August 27], 1887. The saying was repeated several times in newspaper editorials later in 1887. In 1888 and, especially, 1889, the saying became commonplace, used in speeches, advertisements, and on portraits of Lincoln. In 1905 and later, there were attempts to find contemporaries of Lincoln who could recall Lincoln saying this. Historians have not, generally, found these accounts convincing. For more information see two articles in ''For the People: A Newsletter of the Abraham Lincoln Association'', &quot;'You Can Fool All of the People' Lincoln Never Said That&quot;, by Thomas F. Schwartz ([http://abrahamlincolnassociation.org/Newsletters/5-4.pdf V. 5, #4, Winter 2003, p. 1]) and &quot;A New Look at 'You Can Fool All of the People'&quot; by David B. Parker ([http://abrahamlincolnassociation.org/Newsletters/7-3.pdf V. 7, #3, Autumn 2005, p. 1]); also the [[Talk:Abraham_Lincoln#Fool_some_of_the_people|talk page]]. The statement has also sometimes been attributed to [[P. T. Barnum]], although no references to this have been found from the nineteenth century.
** Variants:
*** You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
*** You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
*** You can fool all the people some time, you can fool some of the people all of the time, but you can not fool all the people all the time.&lt;!-- 1886-07-05 Springfield Globe-Republic, p. 1; see talk page --&gt;

* The people will save their government, if the government itself will allow them.
** This quote is incorrectly quoted from [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/detail/3508 Lincoln's Address to Congress on July 4, 1861], in which Lincoln outlined the events that had led to the American Civil War and his views on the nature of the rebellion by the southern slave states. To suppress the rebellion Lincoln said that Congress must &quot;give the legal means for making this contest a short and a decisive one; that you place at the control of the Government for the work at least 400,000 men and $400,000,000.&quot; And Lincoln remarked further: &quot;A right result at this time will be worth more to the world than ten times the men and ten times the money. The evidence reaching us from the country leaves no doubt that the material for the work is abundant, and that it needs only the hand of legislation to give it legal sanction and the hand of the Executive to give it practical shape and efficiency. One of the greatest perplexities of the Government is to avoid receiving troops faster than it can provide for them. In a word, '''the people will save their Government if the Government itself will do its part only indifferently well'''&quot;.

* We, the People are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts — not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the Constitution.
** Lincoln never said these words, but wrote and said some that are very similar to the above quote. As Lincoln's popularity within the Republican Party grew, he was invited to address members of his party throughout the nation. In September 1859 Lincoln gave several speeches to Ohio Republicans. The notes Lincoln used for his 1859 engagements state: &quot;We must not disturb slavery in the states where it exists, because the Constitution, and the peace of the country both forbid us — We must not withhold an efficient fugitive slave law, because the constitution demands it — But we must, by a national policy, prevent the spread of slavery into new territories, or free states, because the constitution does not forbid us, and the general welfare does demand such prevention — We must prevent the revival of the African slave trade, because the constitution does not forbid us, and the general welfare does require the prevention — We must prevent these things being done, by either congresses or courts — The people — '''the people — are the rightful masters of both Congresses, and courts — not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert it''' —&quot; Source: [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/mal:@field(DOCID+@lit(d0189300))#I379 Abraham Lincoln [September 16-17, 1859&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt;] [http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/ampage?collId=mal&amp;fileName=mal1/018/0189300/malpage.db&amp;recNum=1 (Notes for Speech in Kansas and Ohio)] in &quot;Abraham Lincoln Papers at the Library of Congress. Series 1. General Correspondence. 1833-1916.&quot; Transcribed and Annotated by the Lincoln Studies Center, Knox College. Galesburg, Illinois.
** Lincoln transformed his prior quoted notes in the following words: &quot;I say that we must not interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists, because the Constitution forbids it, and the general welfare does not require us to do so. We must not withhold an efficient Fugitive Slave law, because the Constitution requires us, as I understand it, not to withhold such a law. But we must prevent the outspreading of the institution, because neither the Constitution nor general welfare requires us to extend it. We must prevent the revival of the African slave trade, and the enacting by Congress of a Territorial slave code. We must prevent each of these things being done by either Congresses or courts. '''The people of these United States are the rightful masters of both Congresses and courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.'''&quot; Source: [http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2657/2657-h/2657-h.htm#2H_4_0043 Speech at Cincinnati, Ohio, September 17, 1859]; in &quot;The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Five, Constitutional Edition&quot;, edited by Arthur Brooks Lapsley and released as &quot;[http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/5/3253/3253-h/files/2657/2657-h/2657-h.htm The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Papers And Writings Of Abraham Lincoln, Volume Five, by Abraham Lincoln]&quot; (2009) by Project Gutenberg.

* &lt;!-- When Lincoln was accused of treating his opponents with too much courtesy and kindness, and when it was pointed out to him that his whole duty was to destroy them, he answered : --&gt; '''Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?'''
** His response when &quot;accused of treating his opponents with too much courtesy and kindness, and when it was pointed out to him that his whole duty was to destroy them&quot;, as quoted in ''More New Testament Words'' (1958) by [[w:William Barclay (theologian)|William Barclay]]; either this anecdote or Lincoln's reply may have been adapted from a reply attributed to [[w:Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor|Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund]]:
::* Some courtiers reproached the Emperor Sigismond that, instead of destroying his conquered foes, he admitted them to favour. “Do I not,” replied the illustrious monarch, “effectually destroy my enemies, when I make them my friends?”
:::* [http://books.google.de/books?id=aW0EAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA123&amp;dq=destroy &quot;Daily Facts&quot; in ''The Family Magazine'' Vol. IV (1837), p. 123]; also quoted as simply in &quot;Do I not effectually destroy my enemies, in making them my friends?&quot; in ''The Sociable Story-teller'' (1846)

* A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. He is going to sit where you are sitting, and when you are gone; attend to those things, which you think are important. You may adopt all policies you please, but how they are carried out depends on him. He will assume control of your cities, states and nations. All your books are going to be judged, praised or condemned by him. The fate of humanity is in his hands. So it might be well to pay him some attention.
** The origins of this quote are unknown. At least two sources can be traced back, but these sources date back to the 1940 years; long time after Lincon's death.
** ''Source 1'': The 2003 &quot;Masonic Historiology&quot; from Allotter J. McKowe contains on page 55 (page 55 is dated on Jan. 11, 1944) the poem &quot;[http://books.google.de/books?id=K5CHWRttt-gC&amp;pg=PA55&amp;dq=desk What Is a Boy?]&quot; from an unknown author. The poem reads:
::: He is a person who is going to carry on what you have started.
::: He is to sit right where you are sitting and attend when you are gone to those things you think are so important.
::: You may adopt all the policies you please, but how they will be carried out depends on him.
::: Even if you make leagues and treaties, he will have to manage them.
::: He is going to sit at your desk in the Senate, and occupy your place on the Supreme Bench.
::: He will assume control of your cities, states and nations.
::: He is going to move in and take over your prisons, churches, schools, universities and corporations.
::: All your work is going to be judged and praised or condemned by him.
::: Your reputation and your future are in his hands.
::: All you work is for him, and the fate of the nations and of humanity is in his hands.[http://www.quotesaboutlifee.com/2012/04/best-quotes-on-life-best-sayings-on.html Quotes about life]
::: So it might be well to pay him some attention.
:* ''Source 2'': The newspaper &quot;The Florence Times&quot; from Florence, Alabama (Volume 72 - Number 120) contains in its Wednesday afternoon edition from October 30, 1940 a statement from a Dr. Frank Crane. The entitled [http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1842&amp;dat=19401030&amp;id=yx8sAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=I7oEAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=3738,3720511 &quot;What is a Boy?&quot; statement] reads:

* As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is destroyed. I feel at the moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of the war. God grant that my suspicions should prove groundless.
** November 21, 1864, as cited in ''Lincoln's Words on Living Questions: A Collection of All the Recorded Utterances of Abraham Lincoln Bearing Upon the Questions of Today'' (1900), p. 133
*** A different wording of the same statement appears in ''The Conflict of the Ages: The Civic, Social and Economic Problem Analyzed, and a Remedy Suggested'' (1907), p. 15:
**** As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in the hands of the few and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of the rebellion.
*** &quot;Corporations have been enthroned, and an era of corruption in high places will follow,&quot; is identified as a &quot;Fake Lincoln quote&quot; by Thomas DiLorenzo in ''Lincoln Unmasked: What You're Not Supposed to Know About Dishonest Abe'' (Crown Publishing Group: 2009), p. 31

* The money power preys upon the nation in times of peace, and it conspires against it in times of adversity. It's more despotic than monarchy. It's more insolent than autocracy. It's more selfish than bureaucracy. ... Corporations have been enthroned, and an era of corruption in high places will follow.
** &quot;Fake Lincoln Quotes&quot; in Thomas DiLorenzo, ''Lincoln Unmasked: What You're Not Supposed to Know About Dishonest Abe'' (Crown Publishing Group: 2009), p. 31

* '''I do not like that man. I must get to know him better.'''
** As quoted in ''Costs of Administering Reparation for Work Injuries in Illinois '' (1952) by Alfred Fletcher Conard; also in ''Residence Laws : Road Block to Human Welfare, a Symposium'' (1956), p. 28
** Variant:
**I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.
***As quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20100716212616/http://www.today.colostate.edu/story.aspx?id=546 &quot;Wisdom of a forefather&quot;] (11 February 2009), ''Colorado State University''

=== [[w:The Suicide's Soliloquy|The Suicide's Soliloquy]] (1838) ===
* &lt;small&gt; [http://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/prespoetry/al.html &quot;The Suicide's Soliloquy,&quot; published in the ''Sangamo Journal'' (25 August 1838)]; there is no consensus among historians whether or not this poem was written by Lincoln.&lt;/small&gt; 

&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;poem&gt;Here, where the lonely hooting owl
Sends forth his midnight moans,
Fierce wolves shall o'er my carcase growl,
Or buzzards pick my bones.

No fellow-man shall learn my fate,
Or where my ashes lie;
Unless by beasts drawn round their bait,
Or by the ravens' cry.

Yes! I've resolved the deed to do,
And this the place to do it:
This heart I'll rush a dagger through,
Though I in hell should rue it!

Hell! What is hell to one like me
Who pleasures never knew;
By friends consigned to misery,
By hope deserted too?

To ease me of this power to think,
That through my bosom raves,
I'll headlong leap from hell's high brink,
And wallow in its waves.

Though devils yell, and burning chains
May waken long regret;
Their frightful screams, and piercing pains,
Will help me to forget.

Yes! I'm prepared, through endless night,
To take that fiery berth!
Think not with tales of hell to fright
Me, who am damn'd on earth!

Sweet steel! come forth from your sheath,
And glist'ning, speak your powers;
Rip up the organs of my breath,
And draw my blood in showers!

I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the bloody dart,
My last — my only friend!&lt;/poem&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

{{Disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
&lt;small&gt;''Misattributed: Quotes widely associated with an author or work but sourced to another author or work. Read more at [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]].''&lt;/small&gt;

*Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded.
**Alledgedly from a speech to the Illinois House of Representatives (18 December 1840) its called &quot;a remarkable piece of spurious Lincolniana&quot; by Merrill D. Peterson: ''Lincoln in American Memory''. Oxford UP 1995, [https://books.google.de/books?id=EADk9ZIMJXEC&amp;q=prohibitory#v=page books.google]. Cf.''Spurious'' [https://archive.org/details/abrahamlincolnqulinc_41 archive.org] and Harry Miller Lydenberg: ''Lincoln and Prohibition, Blazes on a Zigzag Trail.'' Proceedings Of The American Antiquarian Society, No. 1/1952 [http://www.americanantiquarian.org/proceedings/44807229.pdf pdf]. 

* He only has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
** Original quote from [[William Penn]] (1693): ''They have a Right to censure, that have a Heart to help: The rest is Cruelty, not Justice''.

* It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to Infidelity.
** Claimed by atheist Franklin Steiner, on p. 144 of one of his books to have appeared in ''Manford's Magazine'' but he never gives a year of publication.

* I hope to have God on my side, but I must have Kentucky!
** See, for example, Albert D. Richardson (1865), ''The Secret Service, the Field, the Dungeon, and the Escape''. The quotation is based on a comment by Rev. [[w:Moncure D. Conway|Moncure D. Conway]] about the progress of the Civil War.
*** It is evident that the worthy President would like to have God on his side: he must have Kentucky.
**** Moncure D. Conway (1862), ''The Golden Hour''

* To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
** Sometimes attributed to Lincoln since a 1950 speech of [[w:Douglas MacArthur|Douglas MacArthur]] citing him as its author, this is actually from a poem by [[w:Ella Wheeler Wilcox|Ella Wheeler Wilcox]].

* My earlier views on the unsoundness of the Christian scheme of salvation and the human origin of the scriptures have become clearer and stronger with advancing years, and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change them.
** Letter to [[w:John Allen Wakefield|Judge J. A. Wakefield]], after the death of Lincoln's son [[w:William Wallace Lincoln|Willie]] in 1862, as cited in ''Abraham Lincoln: was he a Christian?'' (1893), [http://books.google.com/books?id=x8BHAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA292&amp;dq=%22unsoundness+of+the+Christian+scheme%22 p. 292], by John Eleazer Remsburg. Historian Merrill Daniel Peterson states in ''Lincoln in American Memory'' (1994), [http://books.google.com/books?id=D_FjY_ARcGoC&amp;lpg=PA227&amp;vq=%22Judge%20J.%20A.%20Wakefield%22&amp;pg=PA227 p. 227], that the letter has never actually been produced to verify the statement and that there's no correspondence with Wakefield noted in the ''Collected Works''.

* America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
** First attributed to Lincoln in 2002, this seems a paraphrase of a statement in the Lyceum address of 1838, while incorporating language used by [[w:Thomas E. Dewey|Thomas E. Dewey]] (c. 1944), who said &quot;By the same token labor unions can never be destroyed from the outside. They can only fail if they fail to lend their united support to full production in a free society&quot;.

* Now, I say to you, my fellow-citizens, that in my opinion the signers of the Declaration had no reference to the negro whatever when they declared all men to be created equal. They desired to express by that phrase, white men, men of European birth and European descent, and had no reference either to the negro, the savage Indians, the Fejee, the Malay, or any other inferior and degraded race, when they spoke of the equality of men. One great evidence that such was their understanding, is to be found in the fact that at that time every one of the thirteen colonies was a slaveholding colony, every signer of the Declaration represented a slave-holding constituency, and we know that no one of them emancipated his slaves, much less offered citizenship to them when they signed the Declaration, and yet, if they had intended to declare that the negro was the equal of the white man, and entitled by divine right to an equality with him, they were bound, as honest men, that day and hour to have put their negroes on an equality with themselves.
** Attributed at a few sites to a debate in Peoria, Illinois with [[Stephen Douglas]] on 16 October 1858. No historical record of such a debate actually exists, though there was a famous set of speeches by both in Peoria on 16 October 1854, but [http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;type=simple;rgn=div1;q1=cleaver;view=text;subview=detail;sort=occur;idno=lincoln2;node=lincoln2%3A282 transcripts of Lincoln's speech] on that date do not indicate that he made such a statement. It in fact comes from a speech made by Douglas in the [http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=lincoln;cc=lincoln;type=simple;rgn=div1;q1=fejee;view=text;subview=detail;sort=occur;idno=lincoln3;node=lincoln3%3A17 third debate] ''against'' Lincoln at Jonesboro, Illinois on 15 September 1858.

* As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicions may prove groundless.
** [http://www.ratical.org/corporations/Lincoln.html Purportedly in a letter to Colonel William F. Elkins (21 November 1864)] after the passage of the National Bank Act (3 June 1864), these remarks were attributed to Lincoln as early as 1887 but were denounced by [[w:John Nicolay|John Nicolay]], Lincoln's private secretary and biographer.
*** [[w:Knights of Labor|Knights of Labor]], &quot;What Will The Future Bring,&quot; ''Journal of United Labor'', Vol 8, no. 20, Nov. 19, 1887, pg. 2.
*** Nicolay: &quot;This alleged quotation from Mr. Lincoln is a bald, unblushing forgery. The great President never said it or wrote it, and never said or wrote anything that by the utmost license could be distorted to resemble it.&quot;
****[http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=9C0DEFDE133BEE33A25750C0A9669D94679ED7CF &quot;A Popocratic Forgery&quot; in ''The New York Times'' (3 October 1898), p. 1]
** {{anchor|moneypowers}}The money powers prey upon the nation in times of peace and conspire against it in times of diversity. It is more despotic then monarchy. More insolent than autocracy. More selfish then bureaucracy. I see the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned. An era of corruption will follow and the money power of the country, will endeavor to prolong it's reign by working upon the prejudices of the people. Until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.
*** A variant cited to ''The Lincoln Encyclopedia'' (1950) by Archer H. Shaw, p. 40, a collection of Lincoln quotations or attributions which has been criticized for including dubious material and known forgeries.
** I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country... corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of war.
*** An additional last line is included in David McGowan's ''Derailing Democracy: The America The Media Don't Want You To See'', p.33.
** The money power preys upon the nation in times of peace and conspires against it in times of adversity. It is more despotic than a monarchy, more insolent than autocracy, more selfish than bureaucracy. It denounces, as public enemies, all who question its methods or throw light upon its crimes.
*** A corruption of remarks by [[William Jennings Bryan]] at Madison Square Garden (30 August 1906)

* I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him. Be honest, but hate no one; overturn a man's wrongdoing, but do not overturn him unless it must be done in overturning the wrong. Stand with a man while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.
** The last sentence is from the 16 October 1854 Peoria speech, slightly paraphrased. No known contemporary source for the rest. It first appears, attributed to Lincoln, in US religious/inspirational journals in 1907-8, such as p123, ''Friends Intelligencer: a religious and family journal'', Volume 65, Issue 8 (1908)

* Any nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.
** Not ''by'' Lincoln, this is apparently paraphrased from remarks ''about'' honoring him by Hugh Gordon Miller: &quot;I do not believe in forever dragging over or raking up some phases of the past; in some respects the dead past might better be allowed to bury its dead, but the nation which fails to honor its heroes, the memory of its heroes, whether those heroes be living or dead, does not deserve to live, and it will not live, and so it came to pass that in 1909 nearly a hundred millions of people [...] were singing the praises of Abraham Lincoln.&quot; — from [http://www.archive.org/details/reportsons00sonsuoft &quot;Lincoln, the Preserver of the Union&quot; (22 February 1911), an address to the Sons of the Revolution in the State of New York.

* You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.
** Actually a statement by [[w:William J. H. Boetcker|William J. H. Boetcker]] known as &quot;The Ten Cannots&quot; (1916), this has often been misattributed to Lincoln since 1942 when a leaflet containing quotes by both men was published.

* There is no room for two distinct races of white men in America, much less for two distinct races of whites and blacks. I can conceive of no greater calamity than the assimilation of the Negro into our social and political life as an equal... Within twenty years we can peacefully colonize the Negro in the tropics and give him our language, literature, religion, and system of government under conditions in which he can rise to the full measure of manhood. This he can never do here. We can never attain the ideal Union our fathers dreamed, with millions of an alien, inferior race among us, whose assimilation is neither possible nor desirable.
** This is from a fictional speech by Lincoln which occurs in ''The Clansman : An Historical Romance of the Ku Klux Klan'' (1905) by [[w:Thomas Dixon, Jr.|Thomas Dixon, Jr.]]. On some sites this has been declared to be something Lincoln said &quot;soon after signing&quot; the Emancipation Proclamation, but without any date or other indications of to whom it was stated, and there are no actual historical records of Lincoln ever saying this.

* Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.
** This was the lead sentence in an article &quot;Democrats Usher in An Age of Treason&quot; by conservative author J. Michael Waller in ''Insight'' magazine (23 December 2003) which a copyeditor (http://www.factcheck.org/misquoting_lincoln.html) mistakenly put quotation marks around, making it seem a quote of Lincoln.

* If you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.
** This is attributed to Lincoln in the 1960 film adaptation of ''Pollyanna''. In reality, it was fabricated by screenwriter and director [[w:David Swift (director)|David Swift]], who had to have thousands of lockets bearing the false inscription recalled after Disney began selling them at [[w:Disneyland|Disneyland]].

* Money is the creature of law and creation of the original issue of money should be maintained as an exclusive monopoly of national government.… Democracy will rise superior to Money Power.
** These remarks in support of a government-regulated money supply were written by [[w:Gerald Grattan McGeer|Gerry McGeer]], who presented them as his interpretation of what Lincoln believed. {{cite book
 | last = McGeer
 | first = Gerald Grattan
 | authorlink =w:Gerald Grattan McGeer
 | title = The Conquest of Poverty
 | chapter = 5 - Lincoln, Practical Economist
 | url = http://heritech.com/pridger/lincoln/mcgeer/mcgeerv.htm
 | accessdate = 2009-07-29
 | year = 1935
 | publisher = Garden City Press
 | location = Gardenvale, Quebec
 | pages = 186ff
}}

* To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own.
** Quoted in a Edith A. Sawyer (1899), ''Mary Cameron''

* If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
** Attributed in Evan Esar (1949), ''The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations''

* I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come.
** Attributed in Laura Haddock (1931), ''Steps Upward in Personality''

* I am not concerned that you fall; I am concerned that you arise.
** Attributed in Deborah Gillan Straub (1996), ''Native North American Voices''

* If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?
** Attributed in Jean Dresden Grambs (1959), ''Abraham Lincoln Through the Eyes of High School Youth''

* It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
** Variously attributed to Lincoln, [[Elbert Hubbard]], [[Mark Twain]], [[Benjamin Franklin]] and [[Socrates]]

* Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.
** Attributed in Henry Louis Mencken (1942), ''A New Dictionary of Quotations''

* You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.
** Quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow (1955), ''Speaker's Book of Epigrams and Witticisms''

* The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it.
** Attributed in ''A Dictionary of Thoughts'' (1908) by [[Tryon Edwards]]; this is earlier attributed to [[Theodore Roosevelt]] in ''Life of William McKinley'' (1901) by Samuel Fallows, and could be derived from the remarks of [[Ulysses S. Grant]] in his First Inaugural Address (4 March 1869): &quot;I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution&quot;.

* The only person who is a worse liar than a faith healer is his patient.
** Quoted in Victor J. Stenger (1990), ''Physics and Psychics''

* I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
** Attributed to Lincoln in Mark Gold (1998), ''Animal century ''. Also attributed to [[w:Rowland Hill (preacher)|Rowland Hill]] in Henry Woodcock (1879), ''Wonders of Grace''

* You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
** Quoted in Vernon K. McLellan (2000) ''Wise Words and Quotes''

* Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
** Widely attributed to Lincoln, this appears to be derived from [[Thomas Carlyle]]'s general comment below, but there are similar quotes ''about'' Lincoln in his biographies.
*** '''Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity.'''
**** [[Thomas Carlyle]] (1841) ''On Heroes and Hero Worship''.
*** Any man can stand adversity — only a great man can stand prosperity.
**** [[w:Horatio Alger, Jr.|Horatio Alger]] (1883), ''Abraham Lincoln: The Backwoods Boy; or, How a Young Rail-Splitter became President''
*** Most people can bear adversity; but if you wish to know what a man really is give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never used it except on the side of mercy.
**** [[w:Robert G. Ingersoll|Robert G. Ingersoll]] (1883), Unity: Freedom, Fellowship and Character in Religion, Volume 11, Number 3, The Exchange Table, True Greatness Exemplified in Abraham Lincoln, by Robert G. Ingersoll (excerpt), Quote Page 55, Column 1 and 2, Chicago, Illinois. ([https://books.google.com/books?id=JUIrAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22man+really%22#v=snippet&amp; Google Books Full View])
*** If you want to discover just what there is in a man — give him power.
**** Francis Trevelyan Miller (1910), ''Portrait Life of Lincoln: Life of Abraham Lincoln, the Greatest American''
** Any man can handle adversity. If you truly want to test a man's character, give him power.
*** Attributed in the electronic game ''[[Infamous]]''

* And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
** This quote is often misattributed to Lincoln. The earliest instance that Quote Investigator could locate was &quot;in an advertisement in 1947 for a book about aging by Edward J. Stieglitz, M.D&quot;. The advertisement for “The Second Forty Years” which ran in the Chicago Tribune newspaper read like this: The important thing to you is not how many years in your life, but how much life in your years! (Compare 1947 March 16, Chicago Tribune, “How Long Do You Plan to Live?”, [Advertisement for the book &quot;The Second Forty Years&quot; by Edward J. Stieglitz, M.D.], p. C7, Chicago, Illinois. (ProQuest)). [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/07/14/life-years-count/ Source of misattribution: ''It’s Not the Years in Your Life That Count. It’s the Life in Your Years - Abraham Lincoln? Adlai Stevenson? Edward J. Stieglitz? Anonymous?'' by Quote Investigator on July 14, 2012]
*** To my way of thinking it is not the years in your life but the life in your years that count in the long run.
**** [[Adlai Stevenson II]], Address at Princeton University, [http://infoshare1.princeton.edu/libraries/firestone/rbsc/mudd/online_ex/stevenson/adlai1954.html &quot;The Educated Citizen&quot; (22 March 1954)]. This has also been paraphrased &quot;What matters most is not the years in your life, but the life in your years&quot; and misattributed to Abraham Lincoln and [[Mae West]].
*** Variant: It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts. 
**** [[Adlai Stevenson II]], &quot;If I Were Twenty-One&quot; in ''Coronet'' (December 1955).

* I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
** Misattributed to Lincoln by several authors since about 2000. Source of quote: General Douglas MacArthur is quoted as saying, &quot;Like Abraham Lincoln, I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts&quot; (John Gunther, ''The Riddle of MacArthur'', New York: Harper, 1950, p. 61). By the 1970s, the phrase is quoted in several places without the words &quot;Like Abraham Lincoln,&quot; and attributed directly to Lincoln. The additional phrase &quot;and beer&quot; first appears in a list of jokes published online in 1999.

* How many legs does a dog have, if you call a tail a leg?
**His collected works contain no riddle about dog legs, but George W. Julian recounts Lincoln using a similar story about a calf in ''Reminiscences of Abraham Lincoln by distinguished men of his time'' (1909), p. 241: &quot;There are strong reasons for saying that he doubted his right to emancipate under the war power, and he doubtless meant what he said when he compared an Executive order to that effect to 'the Pope’s Bull against the comet.' In discussing the question, he used to liken the case to that of the boy who, when asked how many legs his calf would have if he called its tail a leg, replied, 'Five,' to which the prompt response was made that calling the tail a leg would not make it a leg.&quot;
**A very similar riddle about cow legs was also circulated by Edward Josiah Stearns' ''Notes on Uncle Tom's Cabin'' (1853), p. 46: '&quot;Father,&quot; said one of the rising generation to his paternal progenitor, &quot;if I should call this cow's tail a leg, how many legs would she have?&quot; &quot;Why five, to be sure.&quot; &quot;Why, no, father; would calling it a leg make it one?&quot;'
{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Lincoln ==
[[File:Lee Surrenders to Grant at Appomattox.jpg|thumb|Under his rule, assisted by the greatest captain of our age, and his inspiration, we saw the Confederate States, based upon the idea that [[w:African American|our race]] must be [[Slavery|slaves]], and slaves forever, battered to pieces and scattered to the four winds. ~ [[Frederick Douglass]]]]
[[File:The Peacemakers 1868.jpg|thumb|What we see in the distance is a [[rainbow]] — a [[symbol]] of [[hope]], of the passing of the [[storm]]. The painting's name:''[[w: The Peacemakers|The Peacemakers]]'' … for me, this is a constant reassurance that the cause of [[peace]] will triumph and that ours can be the future that Lincoln gave his life for: a future free of both [[tyranny]] and [[fear]]. ~ [[George H. W. Bush]] ]]
[[File:SlaveChildrenUnknown.jpg|thumb|Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, walked through the streets of Richmond and respectfully lifted his hat to the men who blacked Louis Wigfall's boots and curried his horse. What did it mean? It meant that the truest American president we have ever had, the companion of Washington in our love and honor, recognized that the poorest man, however outraged, however ignorant, however despised, however black, was, as a man, his equal. ~ [[George William Curtis]]]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln second inaugural address.jpg|thumb|Lincoln's appeal to &quot;the better angels of our nature&quot; failed to avert a fratricidal war. But the compassionate wisdom of Lincoln's first and second inaugurals bequeathed to the Union, cemented with blood, a moral heritage which, when drawn upon in times of stress and strife, is sure to find specific ways and means to surmount difficulties that may appear to be insurmountable. ~ [[Felix Frankfurter]] ]]
[[File:LINCOLN, Abraham-President (BEP engraved portrait).jpg|thumb|Lincoln asked the nation to confront unblinkingly the legacy of slavery. What were the requirements of justice in the face of this reality? What would be necessary to enable former slaves and their descendants to enjoy fully the pursuit of happiness? Lincoln did not live to provide an answer. A century and a half later, we have yet to do so. ~ [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]] ]]
[[File:Lincoln with Inscription.jpg|thumb|Mr. Lincoln's words show that upon him anxiety and sorrow had wrought their true effect. The address gives evidence of a moral elevation most rare in a statesman, or indeed in any man. ~ [[William Gladstone]] ]]
[[File:Garibal.JPG|thumb|Posterity will call you the great emancipator, a more enviable title than any crown could be, and greater than any merely mundane treasure. ~ [[w:Giuseppe Garibaldi|Giuseppe Garibaldi]] ]]
[[File:Martin Luther King - March on Washington.jpg|thumb|Lincoln achieved immortality because he issued the Emancipation Proclamation. His hesitation had not stayed his hand when historic necessity charted but one course. No President can be great, or even fit for office, if he attempts to accommodate to injustice to maintain his political balance. ~ [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]]]]
[[File:AL1860.jpg|thumb|Come all you true friends of the nation, attend to humanity's call! Oh aid of the slaves' liberation and roll on the liberty ball. We'll finish the temple of freedom, and make it capacious within. That all who seek shelter may find it, whatever the hue of their skin. Success to the old fashioned doctrine, that men are created all free, and down with the power of the despot, wherever his stronghold may be. They'll find what, by felling and mauling, our rail-maker statesman can do. For the people are everywhere calling, for Lincoln and Liberty too! ~ &quot;[[w:Lincoln and Liberty|Lincoln and Liberty]]&quot;]]
[[File:LincolnMemorialStatueNight.JPG|thumb|Now he belongs to the ages... ~ [[w:Edwin M. Stanton|Edwin M. Stanton]]]]
[[File:Abraham Lincoln O-55, 1861-crop.jpg|thumb|Abraham Lincoln — who of his own will struck the shackles from the limbs of four millions of people — will be honored thousands of years from now as man's name was never honored before. ~ [[David Dixon Porter]]]]
[[File:PinkertonLincolnMcClernand.jpg|thumb|It seldom helps to wonder how a statesman of one generation would surmount the crisis of another. A statesman deals with concrete difficulties — with things which must be done from day to day. Not often can he frame conscious patterns for the far off future. But the fullness of the stature of Lincoln's nature and the fundamental conflict which events forced upon his Presidency invite us ever to turn to him for help. ~ [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Lincoln burried in 1865.jpg|thumb|Through the years may we live by the wisdom and the humanity of the heart of Abraham Lincoln. ~ [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] ]]
[[File:Emancipation Day in South Carolina (1863), by Frank Leslie's Illustrated Weekly.png|thumb|Thank God for the iron in the blood of our fathers, the men who upheld the wisdom of Lincoln, and bore sword or rifle in the armies of Grant! Let us, the children of the men who proved themselves equal to the mighty days, let us, the children of the men who carried the great Civil War to a triumphant conclusion, praise the God of our fathers that the ignoble counsels of peace were rejected; that the suffering and loss, the blackness of sorrow and despair, were unflinchingly faced, and the years of strife endured; for in the end the slave was freed. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Battle of Gettysburg, by Currier and Ives.png|thumb|If there is not the war, you don't get the great general; if there is not a great occasion, you don't get the great statesman; if Lincoln had lived in times of peace, no one would have known his name now. ~ [[Theodore Roosevelt]]]]
[[File:Lincoln assassination slide c1900.png|thumb|[[Stephen A. Douglas|Douglas]] believed that he would gain political traction among racist Illinois voters, who were white, after all, by associating Lincoln with the cause of black equality. Lincoln's response was thus also an issue of political survival. So was his decision not to publicize his support for limited black suffrage in Louisiana in 1864. He advanced the idea in a private letter, but waited thirteen months until he made his sentiment public, and three days after he made that sentiment public, he fell victim to an assassin's bullet because [[w:John Wilkes Booth|that assassin]] [[Bigotry|could not bear the thought of]] black equality. ~ [[Brooks D. Simpson]]]]
[[File:Assassination of President Lincoln.jpg|thumb|That means nigger citizenship. Now, by God, I will put [[w:Abraham Lincoln|him]] through. That will be the last speech [[w:Abraham Lincoln|he]] will ever make. ~ [[w:John Wilkes Booth|John Wilkes Booth]]]]
[[File:Lincoln's Tomb.JPG|thumb|It never occurs to some politicians that Lincoln is worth imitating as well as quoting. ~ Anonymous]]
:&lt;small&gt;These are arranged alphabetically by author, followed by some of the more notable anonymous quotations about him.&lt;/small&gt;

* I did more for the [[Russia]]n serf in giving him land as well as personal liberty, than [[United States|America]] did for the negro slave set free by the proclamation of [[w:Abraham Lincoln|President Lincoln]]. I am at a loss to understand how you [[United States|Americans]] could have been so blind as to leave the negro slave without tools to work out his salvation. In giving him personal liberty, you have him an obligation to perform to the state which he must be unable to fulfill. Without property of any kind he cannot educate himself and his children. I believe the time must come when many will question the manner of American emancipation of the negro slaves in 1863. The vote, in the hands of an ignorant man, without either property or self respect, will be used to the damage of the people at large; for the rich man, without honor or any kind of patriotism, will purchase it, and with it swamp the rights of a free people.
** [[Alexander II of Russia|Alexander II]], emperor of Russia, conversation with Wharton Barker, Pavlovski Palace (August 17, 1879); reported in Barker, &quot;The Secret of Russia's Friendship&quot;, ''The Independent'' (March 24, 1904), p. 647

* The Illinois State Republican Convention met at Bloomington on May 29, 1856. It furnished the setting for one of the most dramatic episodes of Lincoln's life … A speech by Lincoln was rarely an ordinary occurrence, but on this occasion he made one of the really great efforts of his life. So powerful was his eloquence that the reporters forgot to take notes of what he was saying. Several commenced, but in a few minutes they were entirely captured by the speaker's power, and their pencils were still.
** Paul M. Angle, on [[w: Lincoln's Lost Speech| Lincoln's Lost Speech]], as quoted in [http://rogerjnorton.com/Lincoln63.html Abraham Lincoln's Lost Speech]

*'''What will be the result to the institution of slavery, which will follow submission to the inauguration and administration of Mister Lincoln as the President of one section of the Union? My candid opinion is, that it will be the total abolition of slavery'''... I do not doubt, therefore, that '''submission to the administration of Mister Lincoln will result in the final abolition of slavery. If we fail to resist now, we will never again have the strength''' to resist.
**[[w:Joseph E. Brown|Joseph E. Brown]], [http://www.civilwarcauses.org/jbrown.htm letter] (7 December 1860), as quoted in [http://www.civilwarcauses.org/jbrown.htm ''Secession Debated''], pp. 145-159

* I don't know whether Abraham Lincoln knew exactly what he was doing when he freed the slaves. Perhaps he did it only as a war measure. The war, you remember, dragged along without any heart in it. Nobody seemed to want to fight. There was everything to fight for- the Union, the preservation of a country whole- but the idea of union, even of country, did not seem enough to make men want to fight... There were even plenty of people, accustomed to the small compact nations of Europe, who thought that perhaps this great expanse of America should not be one country, that it might be better if it were divided into nations instead of states. But others were determined that the continual bickering and quarreling between the little nations of Europe should not be repeated here and they were determined to keep the country whole and large, and among these was Abraham Lincoln.
** [[Pearl S. Buck]], ''What America Means to Me'' (1943), p. 192

* The greatest blow for freedom that was ever struck in the world's history, perhaps, was when Abraham Lincoln decided that the slaves of the South were to be free and he freed them. The South collapsed. The gentlemen who could spend their time fighting, sure of supplies from slave-tended lands, began to starve and go ragged. Their homes began to fall into ruin and their families to be hungry. Their morale was broken. The war was really won by the pen upon the paper which wrote these words, &quot;are and henceforward shall be free.&quot;
** [[Pearl S. Buck]], ''What America Means to Me'' (1943), p. 193

* I suppose Abraham Lincoln knew that was what would happen. He was very wise in the ways of men. He knew how people think and feel. Doubtless he knew that deeper than anything else in the hearts of men everywhere is the wish for simple freedom- freedom without any promises even of protection, of food, of security- just freedom. He knew that those people, so long bond, would leave even comfortable sheltered places where masters were kind, if they could only be free.
** [[Pearl S. Buck]], ''What America Means to Me'' (1943), p. 194

* Had [[Japan]] been a tenth as wise as Abraham Lincoln, had [[Hitler]] been a hundredth part as sensible, we today, the United States and England, would not have a chance in this war. Had those two enemies of ours coveted the lands upon subject peoples dwell today and had they whispered the magic word ''freedom'' to those peoples, they might have set half the world against us in a moment. But they have lost because they attacked lands already free, and because they have enslaved peoples accustomed to freedom. By this one thing alone, if by no other, they are doomed. They have misread the hearts and minds of men. By their enslavement of the peoples whom they have made subject by force of arms, they have aroused against themselves a greater force than can be found in any army, in any weapon. It is this- the will of men everywhere to be free. Let us learn today from Abraham Lincoln, as we fight this war still so far from victory. He could not win that war until he lit the fire in the hearts of men and women enslaved. Nothing had been enough to make men rise up and shout aloud for victory until that moment. A few men like war and enjoy it as a game. But most men and all women hate war. They will not fight with their whole hearts unless they are set aflame. And the torch is always the same words. Whisper those words and men and women will shout them aloud and sing them as they march. The words are simple but they are the most potent in the universe- they are the spiritual dynamite of victory. The words? &quot;All persons held as slaves... are and henceforward shall be free.&quot;
** [[Pearl S. Buck]], ''What America Means to Me'' (1943), p. 195

* Perhaps nowhere do we learn more about Lincoln even now than in a portrait that I talked about last month off the coast of Malta before meeting Chairman [[Mikhail Gorbachev|Gorbachev]]. It is, as this one is, by [[w:George Peter Alexander Healy|George Healy]], and hangs on the wall of my office upstairs. And in it you see the agony and the greatness of a man who nightly fell on his knees to ask the help of God. The painting shows two of his generals and an admiral meeting near the end of a war that pitted brother against brother. And '''outside at the moment a battle rages. And yet what we see in the distance is a rainbow — a symbol of hope, of the passing of the storm. The painting's name:''[[w: The Peacemakers|The Peacemakers]]''. And for me, this is a constant reassurance that the cause of peace will triumph and that ours can be the future that Lincoln gave his life for: a future free of both tyranny and fear.'''
** [[George H. W. Bush]], [http://bushlibrary.tamu.edu/research/public_papers.php?id=1411&amp;year=1990&amp;month=01 Remarks Introducing the Presidential Lecture Series (7 January 1990)]

* One space on the wall was reserved for the president's most influential predecessor. I chose Lincoln. He'd had the most trying job of any president, preserving the Union. Some asked why I didn't put Dad's portrait in that spot. &quot;Number forty-one hangs in my heart,&quot; I said. &quot;Sixteen is on the wall.&quot;
** [[George W. Bush]], ''Decision Points'' (2010), p. 108

* '''I think we have reason to thank [[God]] for Abraham Lincoln.''' With all his deficiencies, it must be admitted that he has grown continually.
** [[Lydia Maria Child]], [http://books.google.com/books?id=4b8m7cv3wTIC&amp;pg=PA335#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false letter to George W. Julian] (8 April 1865), as quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=4b8m7cv3wTIC&amp;pg=PA335#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''The Fiery Trial: Abraham Lincoln and American Slavery''], by Eric Foner, p. 336

*Abraham Lincoln was walking their streets; and, worst of all, that plain, honest-hearted man was recognizing the 'niggers' as human beings by returning their salutations! The walk was long, and the President halted a moment to rest. 'May de good Lord bless you, President Linkum!' said an old negro, removing his hat, and bowing with tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. The President removed his own hat, and bowed in silence; but it was a bow which upset the forms, laws, customs, and ceremonies of centuries. It was a death-shock to chivalry, and a mortal wound to caste. Recognize a nigger! Faugh! A woman in an adjoining house beheld it, and turned from the scene in unspeakable disgust. There were men in the crowd who had daggers in their eyes; but the chosen assassin was not there, the hour for the damning work had not come, and that great-hearted man passed on to the executive mansion of the late Confederacy.
**[[w:Charles Carleton Coffin|Charles Carleton Coffin]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1865/06/late-scenes-in-richmond/308767/ ''The Atlantic''] (June 1865)

*We have never for a moment doubted that Mr. Lincoln, in whom there never was an impulse of unlawful ambition, a shadow of dishonesty, a wish that was not for the welfare of his country ... is, his errors and faults all included, the wisest, the safest, the most unselfish — the man most fitted for the time in which he lives, and for the desperate dangers against which he contends.
**[http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-11-19/opinion/ct-lincoln-gettysburg-edit-1119-20131119_1_gettysburg-address-150-years-speech ''The Chicago Daily Tribune'']

*There are people who always want to get rid of anyone who is doing good for the world - like [[Martin Luther King, Jr.|Martin Luther King]], or [[John F. Kennedy|President Kennedy]]; it always happens. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated because he had a vision of right relationships for humanity. 
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [https://www.share-international.org/archives/M_emergence/faq_M_emergence.htm ''Maitreya's Emergence FAQ, Share International,''] (April 1999)

* '''Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, walked through the streets of Richmond and respectfully lifted his hat to the men who blacked Louis Wigfall's boots and curried his horse. What did it mean? It meant that the truest American president we have ever had, the companion of Washington in our love and honor, recognized that the poorest man, however outraged, however ignorant, however despised, however black, was, as a man, his equal'''. The child of the American people was their most prophetic man, because, whether as small shop-keeper, as flat-boatman, as volunteer captain, as honest lawyer, as defender of the Declaration, as President of the United States, he knew by the profoundest instinct and the widest experience and reflection, that in the most vital faith of this country it is just as honorable for an honest man to curry a horse and black a boot as it is to raise cotton or corn, to sell molasses or cloth, to practice medicine or law, to gamble in stocks or speculate in petroleum. He knew the European doctrine that the king makes the gentleman; but he believed with his whole soul the doctrine, the American doctrine, that worth makes the man.
** [[George William Curtis]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865)

*The first duty of a government is to be true to itself. This does not mean perfection, it means a plan to strive for perfection. It means loyalty to ideals. The ideals of America were set out in the Declaration of Independence and adopted in the Constitution. They did not represent perfection at hand, but perfection found. The fundamental principle was freedom. The fathers knew that this was not yet apprehended. They formed a government firm in the faith that it was ever to press toward this high mark. In selfishness, in greed, in lust for gain, it turned aside. Enslaving others, it became itself enslaved. Bondage in one part consumed freedom in all parts. The government of the fathers, ceasing to be true to itself, was perishing. Five score and ten years ago, that divine providence which infinite repetition has made only the more a miracle, sent into the world a new life destined to save a nation. No star, no sign foretold his coming. About his cradle all was poor and mean, save only the source of all great men, the love of a wonderful woman. When she faded away in his tender years from her deathbed in humble poverty, she endowed her son with greatness. There can be no proper observance of a birthday which forgets the mother. Into his origin, as into his life, men long have looked and wondered. In wisdom great, but in humility greater, in justice strong, but in compassion stronger, he became a leader of men by being a follower of the truth. He overcame evil with good. His presence filled the nation. He broke the might of oppression. He restored a race to its birthright. His mortal frame has vanished, but his spirit increases with the increasing years the richest legacy of the greatest century. Men show by what they worship what they are. It is no accident that before the great example of American manhood, our people stand with respect and reverence. In Abraham Lincoln is revealed our ideal; the hope of our country fulfilled. He was the incarnation of what America was to be. Through him, the Almighty bestowed upon the nation a new birth of freedom that this dear land of ours might be returned to the health of its fathers. We are the beneficiaries of a life of surpassing service. Wise in wisdom and gentle in gentleness. Freedom has many sides and angles. Human slavery has been swept away. With security of personal rights has come security of property rights. The freedom of the human mind is recognized in the right to free speech and free press. The public schools have made education possible for all and ignorance a disgrace. In political affairs, the vote of the humblest has long counted for as much as the vote of the most exalted. We are working towards the day when, in our industrial life, equal honor shall fall to equal endeavor. 
**[[Calvin Coolidge]], [[s:Duty of Government|&quot;Duty of Government&quot;]] (1920)

* In this temple &lt;br /&gt; As in the hearts of the people &lt;br /&gt; For whom he saved the Union &lt;br /&gt; The memory of Abraham Lincoln &lt;br /&gt; Is enshrined forever
** [[w:Royal Cortissoz|Royal Cortissoz]], inscription above the statute of Lincoln at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington, D.C. ''The Washington Star'' (April 20, 1976), p. D1–D2. Cortissoz was art critic of the ''New York Herald Tribune''

*Abraham Lincoln and others recoiled from the idea of government as a prop for the rich. In organizing the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], they highlighted the [[equality of opportunity]] promised in the Declaration of Independence and warned that a healthy economy depended on widespread prosperity. Northerners and hardscrabble westerners flocked to that vision, and elected Lincoln to the White House in 1860.
**[[Heather Cox Richardson]], as quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/04/opinion/bring-back-the-party-of-lincoln.html?_r=0 &quot;Bring Back the Party of Lincoln&quot;] (3 September 2014), by H. Cox Richardson, ''The New York Times'', New York

* [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]], the country's first Republican president, led the Union to victory in the Civil War and put slavery on the road to extinction. After the war, the GOP was responsible for constitutional amendments that finished off slavery, made African Americans citizens and put the ballot in the hands of black men. It is one of the great tragedies of our time that that party, the party of Lincoln and liberty, is long gone.
**[[w:Berry Craig|Berry Craig]], as quoted in [https://www.laprogressive.com/modern-day-jim-crow-laws/ &quot;Jim Crow: The Dirty Bird Flies Again&quot;] (30 March 2014), by B. Craig, ''LA Progressive''

*Abraham Lincoln was a noble man, but he was not an abolitionist, and what he said in reference  to the Negro was with due regard to his circumscribed environs, and, for the time, was doubtless the quintessence of wisdom, but he was not an oracle who spoke for all coming ages, and we are not bound by what he thought prudent to say in a totally different situation half a century ago. 
**[[Eugene V. Debs]], &quot;The Negro and His Nemesis&quot; (1908)

* '''The characteristic which struck me most was his superabundance of common sense. His power of managing men, of deciding and avoiding difficult questions, surpassed that of any man I ever met.''' A keen insight of human nature had been cultivated by the trials and struggles of his early life. He knew the people and how to reach them better than any man of his time. I heard him tell a great many stories, many of which would not do exactly for the drawing-room; but for the person he wished to reach, and the object he desired to accomplish with the individual, the story did more than any argument could have done.
** [[Chauncey Depew]], Testimony XXIV in ''Reminiscences of Abraham Lincoln by Distinguished Men of His Time'' (1886) edited by Allen Thorndike Rice

* I told him that he had been somewhat slow in proclaiming equal protection to our colored soldiers and prisoners; and he said that the country needed talking up to that point. He hesitated in regard to it, when he felt that the country was not ready for it. He knew that the colored man throughout this country was a despised man, a hated man, and that if he at first came out with such a proclamation, all the hatred which is poured on the head of the negro race would be visited on his administration. He said that there was preparatory work needed, and that that preparatory work had now been done. And he said, 'Remember this Mr. Douglass; remember that [[w:Battle of Milliken's Bend|Milliken's Bend]], [[w:Siege of Port Hudson|Port Hudson]], and [[w:Second Battle of Fort Wagner|Fort Wagner]] are recent events; and that these were necessary to prepare the way for this very proclamation of mine.' I thought it was reasonable, but came to the conclusion that '''while Abraham Lincoln will not go down to posterity as Abraham the Great, or as Abraham the Wise, or as Abraham the Eloquent,—although he is all three—wise, great, and eloquent he will go down to posterity if the country is saved, as Honest Abraham... and going down thus, his name may be written anywhere in this wide world of ours, side by side with that of [[George Washington|Washington]], without disparaging the latter.'''
**[[Frederick Douglass]], (December 4, 1863) 30th Anniversary of the A.A.S.S. ([[w:American Anti-Slavery Society|American Anti-Slavery Society]]), Philadelphia, PA, as quoted by Frederic May Holland, ''Frederick Douglass: the Colored Orator'' (1891) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ic3TAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA305 pp. 305-306.]

* He treated me as a man... He did not let me feel for a moment that there was any difference in the color of our skins.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], about Abraham Lincoln (1864), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=cwVkgrvctCcC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=%22Eric+Foner%22+%22Republicans%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiOwdup3aLLAhVK7SYKHZufDmUQ6AEIRjAH#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Reconstruction: America's Unfinished Revolution, 1863-1877''], by Eric Foner, p. 6.

* I assure you, that this inestimable memento of his Excellency will be retained in my possession while I live — an object of sacred interest — a token not merely of the kind consideration in which I have reason to know that the President was pleased to hold me personally, but as an indication of his humane interest in the welfare of my whole race.
** [[Frederick Douglass]], letter to Mary Todd Lincoln (17 August 1865)

* Under [[w:Abraham Lincoln|his]] wise and beneficent rule we saw ourselves gradually lifted from the depths of [[slavery]] to the heights of [[liberty]] and manhood; under his wise and beneficent rule, and by measures approved and vigorously pressed by him, we saw that the handwriting of ages, in the form of [[Bigotry|prejudice and proscription]], was rapidly fading away from the face of [[United States|our whole country]]; under his rule, and in due time, about as soon after all as the country could tolerate the strange spectacle, we saw our brave sons and brothers laying off the rags of bondage, and being clothed all over in the blue uniforms of the soldiers of the United States; under his rule we saw two hundred thousand of our dark and dusky people responding to the call of Abraham Lincoln, and with muskets on their shoulders, and eagles on their buttons, timing their high footsteps to liberty and union under the national flag; under his rule we saw the independence of the black republic of [[Haiti]], the special object of slave-holding aversion and horror, fully recognized, and her minister, a colored gentleman, duly received here in the city of Washington; under his rule we saw the internal slave-trade, which so long disgraced the nation, abolished, and slavery abolished in the District of Columbia; under his rule we saw for the first time the law enforced against the foreign slave trade, and the first slave-trader hanged like any other pirate or murderer; '''under his rule, assisted by the greatest captain of our age, and his inspiration, we saw the Confederate States, based upon the idea that our race must be slaves, and slaves forever, battered to pieces and scattered to the four winds; under his rule, and in the fullness of time, we saw Abraham Lincoln, after giving the slave-holders three months' grace in which to save their hateful slave system, penning the immortal paper, which, though special in its language, was general in its principles and effect, making slavery forever impossible in the [[United States]]'''. Though we waited long, we saw all this and more.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/oration-in-memory-of-abraham-lincoln/ ''Oratory in Memory of Abraham Lincoln''] (14 April 1876), Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.

* Viewed from the genuine abolition ground, Mister Lincoln seemed tardy, cold, dull, and indifferent; but measuring him by the sentiment of his country, a sentiment he was bound as a statesman to consult, he was swift, zealous, radical, and determined. Though Mister Lincoln shared the prejudices of his white fellow-countrymen against the Negro, '''it is hardly necessary to say that in his heart of hearts he loathed and hated [[slavery]]'''... Timid men said before Mister Lincoln's inauguration, that we have seen the last president of the [[United States]]. A voice in influential quarters said, 'Let the Union slide'. Some said that a Union maintained by the sword was worthless. Others said a rebellion of eight million cannot be suppressed; but in the midst of all this tumult and timidity, and '''against all this, Abraham Lincoln was clear in his duty, and had an oath in heaven. He calmly and bravely heard the voice of doubt and fear all around him; but he had an oath in heaven, and there was not power enough on earth to make this honest boatman, backwoodsman, and broad-handed splitter of rails evade or violate that sacred oath'''.... Surveying the end from the beginning, infinite wisdom has seldom sent any man into the world better fitted for his mission than Abraham Lincoln. His birth, his training, and his natural endowments, both mental and physical, were strongly in his favor. Born and reared among the lowly, a stranger to wealth and luxury, compelled to grapple single-handed with the flintiest hardships of life, from tender youth to sturdy manhood, he grew strong in the manly and heroic qualities demanded by the great mission to which he was called by the votes of his countrymen. The hard condition of his early life, which would have depressed and broken down weaker men, only gave greater life, vigor, and buoyancy to the heroic spirit of Abraham Lincoln. He was ready for any kind and any quality of work. What other young men dreaded in the shape of toil, he took hold of with the utmost cheerfulness.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/oration-in-memory-of-abraham-lincoln/ ''Oratory in Memory of Abraham Lincoln''] (14 April 1876), Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.

* '''Can any colored man, or any white man friendly to the freedom of all men, ever forget the night which followed the first day of January 1863, when the world was to see if Abraham Lincoln would prove to be as good as his word? I shall never forget that memorable night''', when in a distant city I waited and watched at a public meeting, with three thousand others not less anxious than myself, for the word of deliverance which we have heard read today. Nor shall I ever forget the outburst of joy and thanksgiving that rent the air when the lightning brought to us the emancipation proclamation. In that happy hour we forgot all delay, and forgot all tardiness, forgot that the President had bribed the rebels to lay down their arms by a promise to withhold the bolt which would smite the slave-system with destruction; and we were thenceforward willing to allow the President all the latitude of time, phraseology, and every honorable device that statesmanship might require for the achievement of a great and beneficent measure of liberty and progress.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/oration-in-memory-of-abraham-lincoln/ &quot;Oratory in Memory of Abraham Lincoln&quot; (14 April 1876), The Freedmen's Monument, Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.]&lt;!--[https://web.archive.org/web/20150302203311/http://www.lib.rochester.edu/index.cfm?PAGE=4071#_ftnref57 About Abraham Lincoln].--&gt;

*Had Abraham Lincoln died from any of the numerous ills to which flesh is heir; had he reached that good old age of which his vigorous constitution and his temperate habits gave promise; had he been permitted to see the end of his great work; had the solemn curtain of death come down but gradually, we should still have been smitten with a heavy grief, and treasured his name lovingly. But dying as he did die, by the red hand of violence, killed, assassinated, taken off without warning, not because of personal hate, for '''no man who knew Abraham Lincoln could hate him, but because of his fidelity to [[United States|union]] and liberty, he is doubly dear to us, and his memory will be precious forever'''. 
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/oration-in-memory-of-abraham-lincoln/ ''Oratory in Memory of Abraham Lincoln''] (14 April 1876), Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C.

* The south was not far behind the north in recognizing [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]] as the natural leader of the rising political sentiment of the country against [[slavery]], and it was equally quick in its efforts to counteract and destroy his influence. Its papers teemed with the bitterest invectives against the 'backwoodsman of Illinois', the 'flat-boatman', the 'rail-splitter', the 'third-rate lawyer', '''and much else and worse'''. 
** [[Frederick Douglass]], [https://archive.org/stream/lifetimesoffrede1881doug/lifetimesoffrede1881doug_djvu.txt ''Life and Times of Frederick Douglass''] (1881), p. 364

* Mr. [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] was not only a great President, but a ''great man'' — too great to be small in anything. '''In his company I was never in any way reminded of my humble origin, or of my unpopular color.'''
** [[Frederick Douglass]], ''Life and Times of Frederick Douglass'' (1892), Part 2, Chapter 12: Hope for the Nation

* You know that in his Charleston speech, an extract from which he has read, he declared that the negro belongs to an inferior race; is physically inferior to the white man, and should always be kept in an inferior position. I will now read to you what he said at Chicago on that point. In concluding his speech at that place, he remarked, 'My friends, I have detained you about as long as I desire to do, and I have only to say let us discard all this quibbling about this man and the other man-this race and that race, and the other race being inferior, and therefore they must be placed in an inferior position, discarding our standard that we have left us. Let us discard all these things, and unite as one people throughout this land until we shall once more stand up declaring that all men are created equal'... &lt;!--[Taken from Lincoln’s speech in Chicago, July 10 1858 – D.N.] --&gt;He declared that all distinctions of race must be discarded and blotted out, because the negro stood on an equal footing with the white man; that if one man said the Declaration of Independence did not mean a negro when it declared all men created equal, that another man would say that it did not mean another man; and hence we ought to discard all difference between the negro race and all other races, and declare them all created equal.
**[[Stephen A. Douglas]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/race-and-slavery-north-and-south-some-logical-fallacies/#comment-47553 Sixth Lincoln-Douglas debate], (13 October 1860), Quincy, Illinois

*When Lincoln, in the darkest days of the war, referred to America as the 'last best hope of earth', he was hardly boasting.
**Don Doyle, [http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/05/19/how-the-civil-war-changed-the-world/ &quot;How the Civil War Changed the World&quot;] (19 May 2015), ''The New York Times''

* Once he called upon General McClellan, and the President went over to the General's house — a process which I assure you has been reversed long since — and General McClellan decided he did not want to see the President, and went to bed. &lt;br /&gt; Lincoln's friends criticized him severely for allowing a mere General to treat him that way. And he said, &quot;All I want out of General McClellan is a victory, and if to hold his horse will bring it, I will gladly hold his horse.&quot;
** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], [http://www.eisenhowermemorial.org/speeches/19540423%20Remarks%20at%20the%20Birthplace%20of%20Abraham%20Lincoln.htm &quot;Remarks at the Birthplace of Abraham Lincoln&quot;], Hodgenville, Kentucky April 23, 1954. The story [http://books.google.com/books?id=AsrfAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA128 originates] from F. A. Mitchel, son and aide of General Mitchel.

*There is no reason to doubt Mister Lincoln's perfect sincerity and his earnest belief in the doctrines which are held by the great majority of his countrymen.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=uAouAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA87&amp;dq=%22as+was+said&quot; &quot;English Opinion on the Inaugural&quot;] (18 March 1865), ''The Spectator''

*He truly admitted the justice of my remarks, that he believed the exclusion of Jewish chaplains to have been altogether unintentional on the part of Congress (and) that something ought to be done to meet this case.
**[https://www.aish.com/ci/s/Abraham-Lincoln-and-the-Jews-10-Fascinating-Facts.html Rabbi Arnold Fischel recollection]

* Humility helps, character counts. Leadership does not knowingly encourage or feed ugly or debased appetites in us. Leadership lives by the American creed, “[[E pluribus unum]].” From many one. American leadership looks to the world and just as Lincoln did, sees the family of man.
** [[Jeff Flake]], Republican senator from Arizona, in a speech on October 24, 2017, announcing he would not be running for re-election in 2018.

* Essentially what Lincoln said is slavery is a form of theft, the theft of labor, one person stealing another person’s labor without that person’s permission. 
** [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], “Lincoln's Nuanced View of Slavery Explained By Renowned Historian,” Michelle Merlin, ''The Register Citizen'', August 9, 2012 [https://www.registercitizen.com/news/article/Lincoln-s-nuanced-view-of-slavery-explained-by-12077170.php]

*Lincoln genuinely abhorred slavery.
**[[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=cwVkgrvctCcC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=%22Eric+Foner%22+%22Republicans%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwiOwdup3aLLAhVK7SYKHZufDmUQ6AEIRjAH#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Reconstruction: America's Unfinished Revolution, 1863-1877''], p. 6

*Lincoln shared many of the prevailing prejudices of his era. But, he insisted, there was a bedrock principle of equality that transcended race. The equal right to the fruits of one's labor. There are many grounds for condemning the institution of slavery. Moral, religious, political, economic. Lincoln referred to all of them at one time or another. But ultimately he saw slavery as a form of theft, of one person appropriating the labor of another. Using a black woman as an illustration, he explained the kind of equality in which he believed, 'In some respects she certainly is not my equal; but in her natural right to eat the bread she earns with her own hands without asking leave of any one else, she is my equal, and the equal of all others'. Shortly before the 1860 election, Frederick Douglass offered a succinct summary of the dilemma confronting opponents of slavery like Lincoln, who worked within the political system rather than outside it. Abstractly, Douglass wrote, most northerners would agree that slavery was wrong. The challenge was to find a way of 'translating antislavery sentiment into antislavery action'. The constitution barred interference with slavery in the states where it already existed. For Lincoln, as for most Republicans, antislavery action meant not attacking slavery where it was but working to prevent slavery's westward expansion. Lincoln, however, did talk about a future without slavery. The aim of the Republican Party, he insisted, was to put the institution on the road to 'ultimate extinction', a phrase he borrowed from Henry Clay. Ultimate extinction could take a long time. Lincoln once said that slavery might survive for another hundred years. But to the south, Lincoln seemed as dangerous as an abolitionist, because he was committed to the eventual end of slavery. This was why his election in 1860 led inexorably to secession and civil war.
**[[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [http://www.ericfoner.com/articles/012609nation.html &quot;Our Lincoln&quot;] (26 January 2009), ''The Nation''

*The hallmarks of Lincoln's greatness were his ability to grow and his willingness to change his mind. During the war, he had come to embrace the Radical position on immediate emancipation and the enlistment of black soldiers, both policies he had initially opposed. In 1864 he privately suggested to Governor Hahn that Louisiana allow some blacks to vote under its new constitution, singling out the educated, propertied free blacks of New Orleans and those who had served in the Union army. In April 1865, shortly before his death, Lincoln for the first time publicly stated his support for this kind of limited black suffrage... [[Andrew Johnson]] lacked Lincoln's qualities of greatness. While Lincoln had been open-minded, willing to listen to criticism, attuned to the currents of northern public opinion, and able to get along with all elements of his party, Johnson was stubborn, deeply [[Racism in the United States|racist]], and insensitive to the opinions of others. If anyone was responsible for the wreck of his presidency, it was Johnson himself.
** {{w|Eric Foner}}, [https://web.archive.org/web/20120616125206/http://www.americanheritage.com/content/if-lincoln-hadn%E2%80%99t-died &quot;If Lincoln Hadn’t Died&quot;] (2009), ''American Heritage''

* Lincoln asked the nation to confront unblinkingly the legacy of slavery. What were the requirements of justice in the face of this reality? What would be necessary to enable former slaves and their descendants to enjoy fully the pursuit of happiness? Lincoln did not live to provide an answer. A century and a half later, we have yet to do so.
**[[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/01/opinion/the-emancipation-of-abe-lincoln.html?ref=opinion&amp;_r=0 &quot;The Emancipation of Abe Lincoln&quot;] (31 December 2012), ''The New York Times'', New York

* Lincoln was fascinated and disturbed by the writings of proslavery ideologues like [[George Fitzhugh]]. The southern critique of [[wage slavery]] catalyzed in Lincoln a defense of [[free society]]. Most northerners, he insisted, were &quot;neither ''hirers'' nor ''hired'',&quot; but worked &quot;for themselves, on their farms, in their houses, and in their shops, taking the whole product to themselves, and asking no favors of [[capital]] on the one hand, nor hirelings or slaves on the other.&quot; Wage earners were generally young &quot;beginners,&quot; hired &quot;by their own consent&quot;; contrary to southern charges, they were not &quot;fatally fixed in that condition for life.&quot; Yet even Lincoln's eloquent exposition could not escape free labor's inherent ambiguities. Was wage labor a normal, acceptable part of the northern social order or a temporary status, associated with the lack of genuine freedom?
** [[Eric Foner]], ''The Story of American Freedom'' (1998), p. 68

* '''Lincoln's appeal to &quot;the better angels of our nature&quot; failed to avert a fratricidal war. But the compassionate wisdom of Lincoln's first and second inaugurals bequeathed to the Union, cemented with blood, a moral heritage which, when drawn upon in times of stress and strife, is sure to find specific ways and means to surmount difficulties that may appear to be insurmountable.'''
** [[Felix Frankfurter]], Concurring, ''Cooper v. Aaron'', 358 U.S. 1 (1958).

* '''Posterity will call you the great emancipator, a more enviable title than any crown could be, and greater than any merely mundane treasure.'''
** [[w:Giuseppe Garibaldi|Giuseppe Garibaldi]], 6 August 1863 letter to Lincoln, as quoted in ''Garibaldi (Great Lives Observed)'' by Denis Mack Smith

* '''The party of Lincoln, called the Republican party, under its present name and organization is of recent origin. It is admitted to be an anti-slavery party''', while it attracts to itself by its creed, the scattered advocates of exploded political heresies, of condemned theories in political economy, the advocates of commercial restrictions, of protection, of special privileges, of waste and corruption in the administration of Government; anti-slavery is its mission and its purpose.
**''[[s:Georgia Declaration of Causes of Secession|Georgia Declaration of Causes of Secession]]'' (January 1861)

* It required no effort on [[w:Abraham Lincoln|his]] part to admit another man's superiority, and [[w:Abraham Lincoln|his]] admission that [[Ulysses S. Grant|General Grant]] was right and [[w:Abraham Lincoln|he]] was wrong about operations in Vicksburg was not intended for effect as some suppose, but was perfectly in character.
**[[w:Joseph Gillespie|Joseph Gillespie]], [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/grant.htm letter] (December 1866)

* I am taken captive by so striking an utterance as this. I see in it the effect of sharp trial when rightly borne to raise men to a higher level of thought and feeling. It is by cruel suffering, that nations are sometimes born to a better life: so it is with individual men. '''Mr. Lincoln's words show that upon him anxiety and sorrow had wrought their true effect. The address gives evidence of a moral elevation most rare in a statesman, or indeed in any man.'''
** [[William Gladstone]], upon Lincoln's second inaugural address, as quoted in &quot;Recollections of Lincoln&quot; by James Grant Wilson in ''Putnam's Magazine'' Vol. 5, No. 6 (March 1909)

* If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
** [[Dick Gregory]], ''From the Back of the Bus'' (1962), p. 7

*We admired and loved him on many accounts, for strong and various reasons. '''We admired his childlike simplicity, his freedom from guile and deceit, his staunch and sterling integrity, his kind and forgiving temper, his industry and patience, his persistent, self-sacrificing devotion to all the duties of his eminent position, from the least to the greatest; his readiness to hear and consider the cause of the poor and humble, the suffering and the oppressed; his charity toward those who questioned the correctness of his opinions and the wisdom of his policy; his wonderful skill in reconciling differences among the friends of the Union, leading them away from abstractions, and inducing them to work together and harmoniously for the common weal; his true and enlarged philanthropy, that knew no distinction of color or race, but regarded all men as brethren''', and endowed alike by their Creator 'with certain inalienable rights, among which are life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness'; his inflexible purpose that what freedom had gained in our terrible civil strife should never be lost, and that the end of the war should be the end of slavery, and, as a consequence, of rebellion; his readiness to spend and be spent for the attainment of such a triumph, a triumph, the blessed fruits of which shall be as wide-spreading as the earth and as enduring as the sun, all these things commanded and fixed our admiration and the admiration of the world, and stamped upon his character and life the unmistakable impress of greatness.
**[[w:Phineas Densmore Gurley|P. Densmore Gurley]], [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/gurley.htm White House Funeral Sermon for President Lincoln] (19 April 1865)

*The presidential election of 1864, occurring after the spectacular Union military successes at Mobile Bay and in Georgia and the Shenandoah Valley, reaffirmed the northern majority's commitment to the suppression of the rebellion in the South and the restoration of the Union without slavery. Arguably, Abraham Lincoln's victory owed more to the Northern rejection of the Democratic Party's war-failure platform and its call for an armistice preparatory to a national peace convention than to the voters' confidence in the president's leadership.
**[[w:William C. Harris|William C. Harris]], as quoted in [http://quod.lib.umich.edu/j/jala/2629860.0021.104?rgn=main;view=fulltext &quot;The Hampton Roads Peace Conference: A Final Test of Lincoln's Presidential Leadership&quot;] (2000), ''Journal of the Abraham Lincoln Association'', pp. 30-61

* Although Lincoln was by today's standards a &quot;moderate&quot; Republican... he famously said, &quot;Labor is superior to capital because it precedes capital&quot;—nobody was wealthy until somebody made something—and was the first president both to use the word &quot;strike&quot; and to actually stop police and private armies from killing and beating strikers...
** [[Thom Hartmann]], ''Unequal Protection: How Corporations Became &quot;People&quot;—and How You Can Fight Back''   (2018) Introduction: The Battle to Save Democracy.

*As to Mr. Lincoln's name and fame and memory, — all is safe. His firmness, moderation, goodness of heart; his quaint humor, his perfect honesty and directness of purpose; his logic his modesty his sound judgment, and great wisdom; the contrast between his obscure beginnings and the greatness of his subsequent position and achievements; his tragic death, giving him almost the crown of martyrdom, elevate him to a place in history second to none other of ancient or modern times. His success in his great office, his hold upon the confidence and affections of his countrymen, we shall all say are only second to Washington’s; we shall probably feel and think that they are not second even to his.
**[[Rutherford B. Hayes|Rutherford Hayes]], as quoted in ''letter to Lucy Webb Hayes'' (16 April 1865)

*153 years ago, had we been sitting on these heights, looking over this river in the midst of civil war, we would likely have seen something curious on the river. Rafts, hastily made, barely water-worthy, bearing families with all their possessions, pushing themselves across the river from Fredericksburg to this shore. These were former slaves, run away from bondage. They came here seeking precisely what you have achieved today. By their coming, months before the emancipation proclamation, they were doing what Americans have always done. They challenged America, as if to say, 'We have left bondage to be free. What will you do with us now?' '''In the spring and summer of 1862, as many as ten thousand former slaves crossed the Rappahannock River to freedom, some of them likely walking these terraces in freedom, looking down upon the river as others followed their path. These men and women and babies and toddlers and boys and girls did not see their acts as momentous for anyone but themselves, but today we can see that their acts were momentous in many ways. By challenging America to accept their determination that they would no longer suffer bondage, they pushed the nation along that arc toward justice, away from oppression.Seven months later, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. And three years after that Congress sent to the states the Fourteenth Amendment, according these former slaves the thing they aspired to most beyond freedom. Citizenship'''. These people did not just walk the path to citizenship, they blazed a trail where none had existed. They, like you, were determined, courageous souls. I hope you will find inspiration from them, just as we derive inspiration from you. We congratulate you. We join you in celebrating life as Americans. And, we welcome you to the noisy business of being a citizen. And now, mindful that the virtues of our nation come from its people, we bid you, our nation’s newest citizen, to go challenge America to be better still.
**[[w:John Hennessey|John Hennessey]], [https://fredericksburghistory.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/history-citizenship-and-a-better-nation/#more-2399 naturalization speech] (June 2015)

* Now let it be written in history and on Mr. Lincoln's tombstone: &quot;He died an unbeliever.&quot;
** [[w:William H. Herndon|William H. Herndon]], [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]]'s law partner in Springfield since 1844, on Lincoln's religion. ''Abraham Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life'', 1896. Quoted in ''Freethinkers'' by [[w:Susan Jacoby|Susan Jacoby]], 2004

*Come all you true friends of the nation, attend to humanity's call! '''Oh aid of the slaves' liberation and roll on the liberty ball.''' We'll finish the temple of freedom, and make it capacious within. '''That all who seek shelter may find it, whatever the hue of their skin.''' Success to the old fashioned doctrine, that men are created all free, and down with the power of the despot, wherever his stronghold may be. They'll find what, by felling and mauling, our rail-maker statesman can do. For the people are everywhere calling, '''for Lincoln and Liberty too.'''
**[[w:Jesse Hutchinson|Jesse Hutchinson]], &quot;[[w:Lincoln and Liberty|For Lincoln and Liberty Too]]&quot;

*Notwithstanding a mendacious press; notwithstanding a subsidized gang of hirelings who have not ceased to traduce me, I have discharged all my official duties and fulfilled my pledges. And I say here tonight that if [[w:Abraham Lincoln|my predecessor]] had lived, the vials of wrath would have poured out upon him.'''
**[[Andrew Johnson]], speech in Cleveland, Ohio (3 September 1866)

*It's a long slog until we realize the dream Lincoln saw for us, but it won't be for lack of trying, as we inch, little to little, to the land where all men are created equal.
**Charles Johnson, [http://www.claremontconservative.com/2008/09/jaffas-thoughts-on-gop-twelve-years.html &quot;Jaffa's Thoughts on the GOP, Twelve Years Later&quot;] (September 2008), ''The Claremont Conservative''

*As a man whose roots go deeply into Southern soil I know how agonizing racial feelings are. I know how difficult it is to reshape the attitudes and the structure of our society. But '''a century has passed, more than a hundred years, since the Negro was freed. And he is not fully free tonight. It was more than a hundred years ago that [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]], a great president of another party, signed the Emancipation Proclamation, but emancipation is a proclamation and not a fact. A century has passed, more than a hundred years, since equality was promised. And yet the Negro is not equal. A century has passed since the day of promise. And the promise is unkept. The time of justice has now come. I tell you that I believe sincerely that no force can hold it back. It is right in the eyes of man and God that it should come.''' And when it does, I think that day will brighten the lives of every American.
**[[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=26805&amp;st=&amp;st1=#axzz2foHNK9TC ''The American Promise''] (15 March 1965), Washington, D.C.

* What would Lincoln have been without the Civil War? Just another railroad lawyer!
** [[John F. Kennedy]] to [[Gore Vidal]], quoted in David Swanson's ''Daybreak: Undoing the Imperial Presidency and Forming a More Perfect Union'' (2011)

* '''When Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation it was not the act of an opportunistic politician issuing a hollow pronouncement to placate a pressure group. Our truly great presidents were tortured deep in their hearts by the race question.''' [...] '''Lincoln’s torments are well known, his vacillations were facts.''' In the seething cauldron of ‘62 and ‘63 Lincoln was called the &quot;Baboon President&quot; in the North, and &quot;coward&quot;, &quot;assassin&quot; and &quot;savage&quot; in the South. Yet he searched his way to the conclusions embodied in these words, '''&quot;[[Abraham Lincoln#Second_State_of_the_Union_address_.281862.29|In giving freedom to the slave we assure freedom to the free, honorable alike in what we give and what we preserve.]]&quot; On this moral foundation he personally prepared the first draft of the Emancipation Proclamation, and to emphasize the decisiveness of his course he called his cabinet together and declared he was not seeking their advice as to its wisdom but only suggestions on subject matter. Lincoln achieved immortality because he issued the Emancipation Proclamation. His hesitation had not stayed his hand when historic necessity charted but one course. No President can be great, or even fit for office, if he attempts to accommodate to injustice to maintain his political balance.'''
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], ''[http://www.nps.gov/anti/historyculture/mlk-ep.htm Emancipation Proclamation Centennial Address]'' at the New York Civil War Centennial Commission’s Emancipation Proclamation Observance, New York City, (12 September 1962) 

* Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
** [[Martin Luther King Jr.]], &quot;[[w:I Have a Dream|I Have a Dream]]&quot; speech (28 August 1963), at the [[w:Lincoln Memorial|Lincoln Memorial]]

* '''Love transforms with redemptive power. &lt;br /&gt; Lincoln tried love and left for all history a magnificent drama of reconciliation.''' When he was campaigning for the presidency one of his arch-enemies was a man named [[w:Edwin M. Stanton|Stanton]]. For some reason Stanton hated Lincoln. He used every ounce of his energy to degrade him in the eyes of the public. So deep rooted was Stanton’s hate for Lincoln that he uttered unkind words about his physical appearance, and sought to embarrass him at every point with the bitterest diatribes. But in spite of this Lincoln was elected President of the United States. Then came the period when he had to select his cabinet, which would consist of the persons who would be his most intimate associates in implementing his program. He started choosing men here and there for the various secretaryships. The day finally came for Lincoln to select a man to fill the all-important post of Secretary of War. Can you imagine whom Lincoln chose to fill this post? None other than the man named Stanton. There was an immediate uproar in the inner circle when the news began to spread. Adviser after adviser was heard saying, “Mr. President, you are making a mistake. Do you know this man Stanton? Are you familiar with all of the ugly things he said about you? He is your enemy. He will seek to sabotage your program. Have you thought this through, Mr. President?” Mr. Lincoln’s answer was terse and to the point: “Yes, I know Mr. Stanton. I am aware of all the terrible things he has said about me. But after looking over the nation, I find he is the best man for the job.” So Stanton became Abraham Lincoln’s Secretary of War and rendered an invaluable service to his nation and his President. Not many years later Lincoln was assassinated. Many laudable things were said about him. Even today millions of people still adore him as the greatest of all Americans. [[H. G. Wells]] selected him as one of the six great men of history. But of all the great statements made about Abraham Lincoln, the words of Stanton remain among the greatest. '''Standing near the dead body of the man he once hated, Stanton referred to him as one of the greatest men that ever lived and said “he now belongs to the ages.”''' If Lincoln had hated Stanton both men would have gone to their graves as bitter enemies. But '''through the power of love Lincoln transformed an enemy into a friend. It was this same attitude that made it possible for Lincoln to speak a kind word about the South during the Civil War when feeling was most bitter. Asked by a shocked bystander how he could do this, Lincoln said, “Madam, do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” This is the power of redemptive love.'''
** [[Martin Luther King, Jr.]], in ''[[w:Strength to Love|Strength to Love]]'' (1963), Sermon V : Loving Your Enemies, p. 38

* [[w:African American|Negro]] support for [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] was an expression of hope. '''The fervent belief that only [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] and his [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], the party of [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]], could keep [[United States|America]]'s promise of equal rights for all men. [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] had been the first president to invite [[w:African American|Negro]] participation in the inaugural pageant'''. [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] was the second.
** [[w:Charles Lane (journalist)|Charles Lane]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=QfBHIIcwukYC&amp;pg=PA2 ''The Day Freedom Died: The Colfax Massacre, the Supreme Court, and the Betrayal of Reconstruction''] (2008), Henry Holt and Company, LLC, New York City, New York, p. 2

*In 1861, Abraham Lincoln told Congress that the 'leading object' of American government was 'to elevate the condition of men; to lift artificial weights from all shoulders, to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all, to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance, in the race of life'. In a single sentence, Lincoln captures the principles of the Republican vision for our country and the essence of what we should strive for when developing and reforming government policy.
**[[w:Mike Lee|Mike Lee]], [http://www.lee.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/the-laudable-pursuit &quot;The Laudable Pursuit&quot;]

*In his life he was a great American. He is no longer so. He is one of those giant figures, of whom there are very few in history, who lose their nationality in death. They are no longer Greek or Hebrew, English or American; they belong to mankind.
**[[David Lloyd George]], speech at the dedication of the Abraham Lincoln statue in Westminster, London (July 28, 1920), quoted in James M. McPherson, ''We Cannot Escape History: Lincoln and the Last Best Hope of Earth'' (2001), pp. 170–171

*Afterward, Vogel invited the audience to come up and be photographed with the re-enactors. I didn't go. I was content just to look down the Mall on that beautiful day, now becoming comfortably warmer. Beyond the reflecting pools, behind the Washington Monument, I could see parts of the Grant sculptures and the wings of the Capitol behind them. It was all very imposing, as befits a great nation. In the aftermath of the morning's program, '''I was free to imagine, now that we let ourselves remember all of [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]'s Second Inaugural, what if the [[United States]] could live up to its moral implications? What if we did construct a society with no unrequited toil? What if we did achieve a just and lasting peace with all nations? An impossible dream? Well, it was a patriotic occasion, and at a place where dreams have been dreamed before.'''
**[[w:James W. Loewen|James W. Loewen]], as quoted in [http://historynewsnetwork.org/blog/153597#_ftn3 &quot;Lincoln's Second Inaugural on its 150th Birthday&quot;] (18 March 2015), ''History News Network''

* Within that door &lt;br /&gt; A man sits or the image of a man &lt;br /&gt; Staring at stillness on a marble floor. &lt;br /&gt; No drum distracts him nor no trumpet can &lt;br /&gt; Although he hears the trumpet and the drum. &lt;br /&gt; He listens for the time to come. &lt;br /&gt; Within this door &lt;br /&gt; A man sits or the image of a man &lt;br /&gt; Remembering the time before. &lt;br /&gt; He hears beneath the river in its choking channel &lt;br /&gt; A deeper river rushing on the stone, &lt;br /&gt; Sits there in his doubt alone, &lt;br /&gt; Discerns the Principle, &lt;br /&gt; The guns begin, &lt;br /&gt; Emancipates — but not the slaves, &lt;br /&gt; The Union — not from servitude but shame: &lt;br /&gt; Emancipates the Union from the monstrous name &lt;br /&gt; Whose infamy dishonored &lt;br /&gt; Even the great Founders in their graves … &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; He saves the Union and the dream goes on.
** [[Archibald MacLeish]], &quot;At the Lincoln Memorial&quot;, stanza 4, lines 1–6, and stanza 5, ''New &amp; Collected Poems, 1917–1976'' (1976), p. 433–35. This poem was written for ceremonies marking the centennial of the Emancipation Proclamation and was read by MacLeish at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington, D.C., (22 September 1962)

* When the Norn-mother saw the Whirlwind Hour, &lt;br /&gt; Greatening and darkening as it hurried on, &lt;br /&gt; She bent the strenuous Heavens and came down &lt;br /&gt; To make a man to meet the mortal need. &lt;br /&gt; She took the tried clay of the common road — &lt;br /&gt; Clay warm yet with the genial heat of Earth, &lt;br /&gt; Dashed through it all a strain of prophecy; &lt;br /&gt; Then mixed a laughter with the serious stuff. &lt;br /&gt; It was a stuff to wear for centuries, &lt;br /&gt; A man that matched the mountains, and compelled &lt;br /&gt; The stars to look our way and honor us.
** [[Edwin Markham]], &quot;Lincoln, The Man of the People&quot;, stanza 1, lines 1–11, ''Lincoln &amp; Other Poems'' (1901), p. 3

* And when he fell in whirlwind, he went down &lt;br /&gt; As when a lordly cedar, green with boughs, &lt;br /&gt; Goes down with a great shout upon the hills, &lt;br /&gt; And leaves a lonesome place against the sky.
** [[Edwin Markham]], &quot;Lincoln, the Man of the People&quot;, stanza 4, lines 8–11, ''Lincoln &amp; Other Poems'' (1901), p. 3

* I went to the White House shortly after tea where I found &quot;the original gorilla,&quot; about as intelligent as ever. What a specimen to be at the head of our affairs now!
** General {{w|George B. McClellan}} (17 November 1861), ''The Civil War Papers of George B. McClellan'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=AlPVCK45xo4C&amp;pg=PA135&amp;dq=%22What+a+specimen+to+be+at+the+head+of+our+affairs+now%22 p. 135]. McClellan is said to have often used [[w:Edwin M. Stanton|Edwin M. Stanton]]'s term the &quot;original gorilla&quot; in referring to Lincoln.

* Lincoln’s proclamation is even more important than the Maryland campaign. Lincoln is a ''[[Wiktionary:sui generis|sui generis]]'' figure in the annals of history. He has no initiative, no idealistic impetus, cothurnus, no historical trappings. He gives his most important actions always the most commonplace form. Other people claim to be “fighting for an idea”, when it is for them a matter of square feet of land. Lincoln, even when he is motivated by, an idea, talks about “square feet”. He sings the bravura aria of his part hesitatively, reluctantly and unwillingly, as though apologising for being compelled by circumstances “to act the lion”. The most redoubtable decrees — which will always remain remarkable historical documents-flung by him at the enemy all look like, and are intended to look like, routine summonses sent by a lawyer to the lawyer of the opposing party, legal chicaneries, involved, hidebound ''actiones juris''. His latest proclamation, which is drafted in the same style, the manifesto abolishing slavery, is the most important document in American history since the establishment of the Union, tantamount to the tearing tip of the old [[American Constitution]].
** [[Karl Marx]], [http://hiaw.org/defcon6/works/1862/10/12.html &quot;Comments on the North American Events&quot;], ''{{w|Die Presse}}'' (12 October 1862)

* Lincoln’s place in the history of the United States and of mankind will, nevertheless, be next to that of Washington!
** [[Karl Marx]], [http://hiaw.org/defcon6/works/1862/10/12.html &quot;Comments on the North American Events&quot;], ''{{w|Die Presse}}'' (12 October 1862)

* Lincoln is not the product of a popular revolution. This plebeian, who worked his way tip from stone-breaker to Senator in Illinois, without intellectual brilliance, without a particularly outstanding character, without exceptional importance-an average person of good will, was placed at the top by the interplay of the forces of universal suffrage unaware of the great issues at stake. The {{w|new world}} has never achieved a greater triumph than by this demonstration that, given its political and social organisation, ordinary people of good will can accomplish feats which only heroes could accomplish in the {{w|old world}}!
** [[Karl Marx]], [http://hiaw.org/defcon6/works/1862/10/12.html &quot;Comments on the North American Events&quot;], ''{{w|Die Presse}}'' (12 October 1862)

* [[Friedrich Engels|Hegel]] once observed that comedy is in act superior to tragedy and humourous reasoning superior to grandiloquent reasoning. Although Lincoln does not possess the grandiloquence of historical action, as an average man of the people he has its humour.
** [[Karl Marx]], [http://hiaw.org/defcon6/works/1862/10/12.html &quot;Comments on the North American Events&quot;], ''{{w|Die Presse}}'' (12 October 1862)

*He says he'll pinch a penny so hard, he'll leave a bruise on the bronze so dark you can see the mark with the scars. Until Abraham Lincoln is screaming out, ah!
**[[Eminem|Marshall Bruce Mathers III]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/almostfamous.html &quot;Almost Famous&quot;], ''Recovery'' (2010)

*Hey, Mrs. Abraham Lincoln. Other than your husband's fucking brains that were leaking, how'd you think that play was this weekend?
**[[Eminem|Marshall Bruce Mathers III]], [http://rap.genius.com/Busta-rhymes-calm-down-lyrics#note-3373089 &quot;Calm Down&quot;], ''ELE 2: End of the World'' (2014)

*If Lincoln had been a failure, he would have lived a longer life.
**[[James M. McPherson]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=Bi5UlY2IadMC&amp;pg=PT254&amp;dq=%22kneel+to+me+that+is+not+right%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjlz8LkxfPJAhWGFR4KHdUcCwsQ6AEIMjAE#v=onepage&amp;q=%22kneel%20to%20me%20that%20is%20not%20right%22&amp;f=false &quot;Epilogue&quot;], ''Tried by War: Abraham Lincoln as Commander in Chief''

*Scorned and ridiculed by many critics during his presidency, [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] became a martyr and almost a saint after his death. His words and deeds lived after him, and will be revered as long as there is a [[United States]]. Indeed, it seems quite likely that without his determined leadership the ''United'' States would have ceased to be... More than any other American, [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]'s name has gone into history. He gave all Americans, indeed all people everywhere, reason to remember that he had lived.
**[[James M. McPherson]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=MJKLnJzXPj0C&amp;pg=PA60&amp;dq=%22kneel+to+me+that+is+not+right%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjlz8LkxfPJAhWGFR4KHdUcCwsQ6AEILDAD#v=onepage&amp;q=%22kneel%20to%20me%20that%20is%20not%20right%22&amp;f=false ''Abraham Lincoln''], p. 65

* [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] marked the half-way post on the road to the sewers. He was a politician first — with devotion as a glorious afterthought.
** [[Henry Louis Mencken]], in [http://books.google.com/books?id=Nu6mNG4YRHgC&amp;pg=RA1-PA251&amp;dq=%22half-way+post+on+the+road+to+the+sewers%22 &quot;Kultur in the Republic&quot; in ''American Mercury'' (December 1927), p. 251]

* [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] had long believed that [[slavery]] was incompatible with the Union and that the nation was threaded together by a set of principles that required equality before the law.
**[[w:Sidney M. Milkis|Sidney M. Milkis]] and [[w:Michael Nelson|Michael Nelson]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=p3zmBgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA179&amp;lpg=PA179&amp;dq=%22damned+in+time+and+eternity+for+so+doing%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=mrAJPnpx1V&amp;sig=TswZIYZVZNcnQEH9SnxNcw1bVs8&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCsQ6AEwBGoVChMI6_3Z9pXxxwIVguCACh3bBAks#v=onepage&amp;q=%22damned%20in%20time%20and%20eternity%20for%20so%20doing%22&amp;f=false ''The American Presidency: Origins and Development, 1776–2014''], p. 179

* [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] was too respectful of procedural regularity and formal legality to completely abolish slavery by executive fiat. Instead, he worked to achieve abolition by constitutional amendment. In 1864, Lincoln took the lead in persuading the Republican national convention to adopt a platform calling for an amendment prohibiting slavery everywhere in the United States. Because slavery was 'hostile to the principles of republican government, justice, and national safety', the platform declared, the Republican Party vowed to accomplish its 'utter and complete extirpation from the soil of the Republic'. Full emancipation became an end as well as a means of Union victory.
**[[w:Sidney M. Milkis|Sidney M. Milkis]] and [[w:Michael Nelson|Michael Nelson]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=p3zmBgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA179&amp;lpg=PA179&amp;dq=%22damned+in+time+and+eternity+for+so+doing%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=mrAJPnpx1V&amp;sig=TswZIYZVZNcnQEH9SnxNcw1bVs8&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCsQ6AEwBGoVChMI6_3Z9pXxxwIVguCACh3bBAks#v=onepage&amp;q=%22damned%20in%20time%20and%20eternity%20for%20so%20doing%22&amp;f=false ''The American Presidency: Origins and Development, 1776–2014''], p. 179

*What I now principally feel is that the death of Lincoln, like that of [[Socrates]], is a worthy end to a noble life, and puts the seal of universal remembrance upon his worth. He has now a place among the great names of history, and one could have wished nothing better for him personally than to die almost or quite unconsciously, in perhaps the happiest moment of his life. How one rejoices that he lived to know of Lee's surrender.
**[[John Stuart Mill]] to John Elliot Cairnes (28 May 1865), quoted in Michael St. John Packe, ''The Life of John Stuart Mill'' (1954), p. 426

* Most historians today rank Lincoln number one among our presidents, for his leadership in preserving the Union and bringing slavery to an end. Major credit, however, should be given him for his contributions as a military leader. No president fulfilled the responsibility of a commander-in-chief as he did.
** Seymour Morris Jr., ''American History Revised: 200 Startling Facts That Never Made It into the Textbooks'' (2010), p. 142

* [[Confederate States of America|The South]] went [[American Civil War|to war]] on account of [[slavery]]. '''[[South Carolina]] went to war, as she said in her [[s:Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union|secession proclamation]], because slavery would not be secure under [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]'''. [[South Carolina]] ought to know what was the cause for her seceding. The truth is the modern [[Virginia|Virginians]] departed from the teachings of the [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|Father's]].
** [[John S. Mosby|John Singleton Mosby]], as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20131112054334/https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/reconstruction/resources/former-confederate-officer-slavery-and-civil-war-1907 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (4 June 1907)

*Lincoln was our greatest president. Lincoln recognized that our nation’s original sin was slavery, which contradicted the Declaration’s lofty preamble, and that the Constitution, which permitted slavery, had to be corrected by constitutional means. 
**John D. Mueller, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160313050002/http://www.nationalreview.com/article/432701/first-principles-america-cultural-catechism &quot;What We Are For — An American Cultural Catechism&quot;] (12 March 2016), ''National Review''

*I was partner of [[w:William Herndon (lawyer)|William H. Herndon]] in this city in the year 1878. … Mr. Herndon continually spoke of Mr. Lincoln's greatness and goodness. He told me of travelling over the State from one county seat to another with the meager law-library in saddle-bags. … Herndon spoke of Lincoln's ability as a lawyer and statesman. '''He also admired greatly Lincoln's kindness of heart, his forgiving disposition. He was greatly impressed by Mr. Lincoln's attitude of kindness toward young men in the army who were found guilty of transgression of [[military]] regulations.'''
**Comments by Judge George W. Murray (1939-1926) - &quot;the last law partner of [[w:William Herndon (lawyer)|William H. Herndon]] (1818-1891), the last law partner of Lincoln.&quot; [https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&amp;hl=en&amp;q=%22last+law+partner+of+William+H.+Herndon%2C+the+last+law+partner+of+Lincoln%22&amp;gws_rd=ssl] - who gave this statement to Rev. William E. Barton, D. D., April 21, 1920. Quoted in ''The [[eugenics]] of President Abraham Lincoln; His German-Scotch Ancestry Irrefutably Established from Recently Discovered Documents'' (1940), James Caswell Coggins (1865-1958), Goodwill press, [[w:Milligan College|Milligan College]], Elizabethton, Tennessee, p. 222. [https://archive.org/stream/eugenicsofpresid00cogg#page/222/mode/2up/search/%22Lincoln's+greatness+and+goodness%22] [http://catalog.hathitrust.org/api/volumes/oclc/2637161.html]
*We all remember Abraham Lincoln as the leader who saved our Union, founder of the Republican Party. But in the middle of a Civil War, he was also a leader who looked to the future; a Republican President who mobilized Government to build the [[w:Transcontinental railroad|transcontinental railroad]], launch the [[w:National Academy of Sciences|National Academy of Sciences]], set up the first land-grant colleges. And leaders of both parties have followed the example he set.
**[[Barack Obama]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/address-before-joint-session-the-congress-job-growth Address Before a Joint Session of the Congress on Job Growth], (8 September 2011)

*Don Fehrenbacher once observed that Lincoln has been described by historians as a 'dictator' far more often than any other president. This is true not only of historians who criticize him, but of those who praise him. But '''if Lincoln was a dictator, he was unlike any other in history. Dictatorship (in the contemporary usage that Fehrenbacher had in mind) is characterized by unlimited, absolute power, exercised in an arbitrary and unpredictable manner, with no regard for political legitimacy. A dictator does not go out of his way to respect legal limits as Lincoln did''', despite his belief that the emergency required special measures. Nor is a dictator subject to the pressures of public opinion, congressional constraint, and party competition that Lincoln faced during his war presidency. Above all a dictator doesn't risk an election, especially one he thinks he might lose, in the midst of civil war.
**Mackubin Thomas Owens, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160330083421/http://www.claremont.org/crb/article/commander-in-chief/ &quot;Commander-in-Chief&quot;] (10 February 2009), ''Claremont Review of Books'', The Claremont Institute

*For a party that desperately yearns to increase its diversity, why not answer this way? I'm from the party of Abraham Lincoln. The only flag I want to salute is the American flag.
**[[w:Scott Pinsker|Scott Pinsker]], as quoted in [http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2015/06/22/confederate-flag-and-party-lincoln.html &quot;Republicans: The Confederate flag and the party of Lincoln&quot;] (22 June 2015), by S. Pinsker, ''Fox News''

* Twenty years have passed since [[Emancipation Proclamation|that event]]; it is almost too new in history to make a great impression, but the time will come when it will loom up as one of the greatest of man's achievements, and '''the name of Abraham Lincoln — who of his own will struck the shackles from the limbs of four millions of people — will be honored thousands of years from now as man's name was never honored before.'''
** [[David Dixon Porter]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), p. 296

*He came, armed with the majesty of the law, to put his seal to the act which had been established by the bayonets of the Union soldiers the establishment of peace and goodwill between the North and the South, and liberty to all mankind who dwell upon our shores.
** [[David Dixon Porter]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/download/incidentsanecdot00port/incidentsanecdot00port.pdf ''Incidents and Anecdotes of the Civil War''] (1885), by D.D. Porter, p. 296

* Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since [[William Howard Taft|Taft]]. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
** [[Will Rogers]], quoted in ''How we elect our Presidents'' (1952), p. 9

* '''It seldom helps to wonder how a statesman of one generation would surmount the crisis of another. A statesman deals with concrete difficulties — with things which must be done from day to day. Not often can he frame conscious patterns for the far off future. But the fullness of the stature of Lincoln's nature and the fundamental conflict which events forced upon his Presidency invite us ever to turn to him for help.'''
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=15669&amp;st=&amp;st1= Franklin D. Roosevelt: &quot;Address at the Dedication of the Memorial on the Gettysburg Battlefield, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.,&quot; July 3, 1938. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woollsey]

* Lincoln spoke in solace for all who fought upon this field; and the years have laid their balm upon their wounds. Men who wore the blue and men who wore the gray are here together, a fragment spared by time. They are brought here by the memories of old divided loyalties, but they meet here in united loyalty to a united cause which the unfolding years have made it easier to see. All of them we honor, not asking under which flag they fought then — thankful that they stand together under one flag now. '''Lincoln was commander-in-chief in this old battle; he wanted above all things to be commander-in-chief of the new peace. He understood that battle there must be; that when a challenge to constituted government is thrown down, the people must in self-defense take it up; that the fight must be fought through to a decision so clear that it is accepted as being beyond recall.'''
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=15669&amp;st=&amp;st1= Franklin D. Roosevelt: &quot;Address at the Dedication of the Memorial on the Gettysburg Battlefield, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.,&quot; July 3, 1938. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woollsey]

* '''But Lincoln also understood that after such a decision, a democracy should seek peace through a new unity. For a democracy can keep alive only if the settlement of old difficulties clears the ground and transfers energies to face new responsibilities. Never can it have as much ability and purpose as it needs in that striving; the end of battle does not end the infinity of those needs. That is why Lincoln — commander of a people as well as of an army — asked that his battle end &quot;with malice toward none, with charity for all.&quot;'''
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=15669&amp;st=&amp;st1= Franklin D. Roosevelt: &quot;Address at the Dedication of the Memorial on the Gettysburg Battlefield, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.,&quot; July 3, 1938. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woollsey]

* To the hurt of those who came after him, Lincoln's plea was long denied. A generation passed before the new unity became accepted fact. In later years new needs arose, and with them new tasks, worldwide in their perplexities, their bitterness and their modes of strife. Here in our land we give thanks that, avoiding war, we seek our ends through the peaceful processes of popular government under the Constitution. '''It is another conflict, a conflict as fundamental as Lincoln's, fought not with glint of steel, but with appeals to reason and justice on a thousand fronts — seeking to save for our common country opportunity and security for citizens in a free society. We are near to winning this battle. In its winning and through the years may we live by the wisdom and the humanity of the heart of Abraham Lincoln.'''
** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], [http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=15669&amp;st=&amp;st1= Franklin D. Roosevelt: &quot;Address at the Dedication of the Memorial on the Gettysburg Battlefield, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.,&quot; July 3, 1938. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woollsey]

* Lincoln and [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]], men who preeminently and distinctly embody all that is most American in the American character I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life. The life of toil and effort, of labor gold strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois

* Thank God for the iron in the blood of our fathers, the men who upheld the wisdom of Lincoln, and bore sword or rifle in the armies of Grant! Let us, the children of the men who proved themselves equal to the mighty days, let us, the children of the men who carried the great Civil War to a triumphant conclusion, praise the God of our fathers that the ignoble counsels of peace were rejected; that the suffering and loss, the blackness of sorrow and despair, were unflinchingly faced, and the years of strife endured; for in the end the slave was freed, the Union restored, and the mighty American republic placed once more as a helmeted queen among nations.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois

* No country can long endure if its foundations are not laid deep in the material prosperity which comes from thrift, from business energy and enterprise, from hard, unsparing effort in the fields of industrial activity; but neither was any nation ever yet truly great if it relied upon material prosperity alone. All honor must be paid to the architects of our material prosperity, to the great captains of industry who have built our factories and our railroads, to the strong men who toil for wealth with brain or hand; for great is the debt of the nation to these and their kind. But our debt is yet greater to the men whose highest type is to be found in a statesman like [[w:Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]], a soldier like [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]]. They showed by their lives that they recognized the law of work, the law of strife; they toiled to win a competence for themselves and those dependent upon them; but they recognized that there were yet other and even loftier duties — duties to the nation.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], ''[[s:The Strenuous Life|The Strenuous Life]]'' (10 April 1899), Chicago, Illinois

* '''If there is not the war, you don't get the great general; if there is not a great occasion, you don't get the great statesman; if Lincoln had lived in times of peace, no one would have known his name now.'''
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], 26th President of the United States, &quot;The conditions of success&quot;, address at the Cambridge Union (26 May 1910), in ''The New Outlook'', 22 January 1919, [http://books.google.com/books?id=PD7xwXiTm-EC&amp;pg=PA143&amp;dq=%22you+don't+get+the+great+general%22 121:143]
*I do not speak of this struggle of the past merely from the historic standpoint. Our interest is primarily in the application to-day of the lessons taught by the contest a half a century ago. It is of little use for us to pay lip-loyalty to the mighty men of the past unless we sincerely endeavor to apply to the problems of the present precisely the qualities which in other crises enabled the men of that day to meet those crises. It is half melancholy and half amusing to see the way in which well-meaning people gather to do honor to the men who, in company with [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]], and under the lead of Abraham Lincoln, faced and solved the great problems of the [[19th century|nineteenth century]], while, at the same time, these same good people nervously shrink from, or frantically denounce, those who are trying to meet the problems of the [[20th century|twentieth century]] in the spirit which was accountable for the successful solution of the problems of Lincoln’s time. Of that generation of men to whom we owe so much, the man to whom we owe most is, of course, Lincoln. Part of our debt to him is because he forecast our present struggle and saw the way out. He said: &quot;I hold that while man exists it is his duty to improve not only his own condition, but to assist in ameliorating mankind.&quot; And again: &quot;[[Work|Labor]] is prior to, and independent of, [[capital]]. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.&quot; If that remark was original with me, I should be even more strongly denounced as a [[Communism|Communist]] agitator than I shall be anyhow. It is Lincoln’s. I am only quoting it; and that is one side; that is the side the capitalist should hear. Now, let the working man hear his side. &quot;Capital has its rights, which are as worthy of protection as any other rights. . . . Nor should this lead to a war upon the owners of property. [[Property]] is the fruit of labor; . . . property is desirable; is a positive good in the world.&quot; And then comes a thoroughly Lincoln-like sentence: &quot;Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.&quot; It seems to me that, in these words, Lincoln took substantially the attitude that we ought to take; he showed the proper sense of proportion in his relative estimates of capital and labor, of human rights and property rights. Above all, in this speech, as in many others, he taught a lesson in wise kindliness and charity; an indispensable lesson to us of today. But this wise kindliness and charity never weakened his arm or numbed his heart. We cannot afford weakly to blind ourselves to the actual conflict which faces us today. The issue is joined, and we must fight or fail.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2011/12/06/archives-president-teddy-roosevelts-new-nationalism-speech Osawatomie speech], (31 August 1910) 

* My Lords, there are circumstances connected with this crime which, I think, aggravate its atrocity. President Lincoln was a man who, though not conspicuous before his election, had since displayed a character of so much integrity, so much sincerity and straightforwardness, and at the same time of so much kindness, that if any one could have been able to alleviate the pain and animosities which prevailed during the period of civil war, I believe that President Lincoln was that person. It was remarked of President Lincoln that he always felt disinclined to adopt harsh measures; and I am told that the commanders of his armies often complained that when they had passed a sentence which they thought no more than just the President was always disposed to temper its severity. Such a man this particular epoch required.
** British Foreign Secretary [[John Russell, 1st Earl Russell]] in a [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/lords/1865/may/01/address-to-her-majesty#S3V0178P0_18650501_HOL_3 speech] to the {{w|House of Lords}} following Lincoln's death, 1 May 1865  

* Not often in the story of mankind does a man arrive on earth who is both steel and velvet, who is as hard as rock and soft as drifting fog, who holds in his heart and mind the paradox of terrible storm and peace unspeakable and perfect.
** [[Carl Sandburg]], opening sentence in an address to a joint session of Congress marking the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth (12 February 1959); reported in ''Congressional Record'', vol. 105, p. 2265

* At its start, the Civil War was not fought as a war to free the slaves, but rather as a war to maintain the Union. In 1861, a war waged by the U.S. government to free the slaves, as Lincoln recognized, would have been very unpopular in the north and clearly unconstitutional. It was not until 1863, and then only as a war measure not a change in the Constitution, did Lincoln issue the Emancipation Proclamation and thereby begin a move toward the destruction of constitutionally sanctioned slavery. This move would have been terminated at Appomattox if the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments had not been adopted by the Congress and the states.
**[[w:Michael Scheuer|Michael Scheuer]], as quoted in [https://archive.is/QBuxT ''Michael Scheuer's Non-Intervention''] (22 June 2015), by M. Scheuer

* '''No man made great by death offers more hope to lowly pride than does Abraham Lincoln; for while living he was himself so simple as often to be dubbed a fool.''' Foolish he was, they said, in losing his youthful heart to a grave and living his life on married patience; foolish in pitting his homely ignorance against [[w:Stephan A. Douglas|Douglas]], brilliant, courtly, and urbane; foolish in setting himself to do the right in a world where the day goes mostly to the strong; foolish in dreaming of freedom for a long-suffering folk whom the North is as anxious to keep out as the South was to keep down; foolish in choosing the silent [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] to lead to victory the hesitant armies of the North; foolish, finally, in presuming that government for the people must be government of the people and by the people. Foolish many said; foolish many, many believed.&lt;p&gt;This Lincoln, whom so many living friends and foes alike deemed foolish, hid his bitterness in laughter; fed his sympathy on solitude; and met recurring disaster with whimsicality to muffle the murmur of a bleeding heart. Out of the tragic sense of life he pitied where others blamed; bowed his own shoulders with the woes of the weak; endured humanely his little day of chance power; and won through death what life disdains to bestow upon such simple souls — lasting peace and everlasting glory.&lt;p&gt;'''How prudently — to echo [[Wendell Phillips]] — we proud men compete for nameless graves, while now and then some starveling of Fate forgets himself into immortality.'''
** [[w:Thomas Vernor Smith|Thomas Vernor Smith]], memorial address, the Illinois State Senate, February 12, 1935, the 126th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth, ''Lincoln, Living Legend'', pp. 3–5 (1940)

* There lies the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen. '''Now he belongs to the ages.'''
** [[w:Edwin M. Stanton|Edwin M. Stanton]], at Lincoln's death (15 April 1865). As quoted in ''Abraham Lincoln: A History'' (1890) by John George Nicolay and John Hay, p. 302. Though &quot;Now he belongs to the ages&quot; is by far the most accepted quotation of this remark, it is sometimes contended that he said &quot;Now he belongs to the angels&quot; but occurrences of this date back only a very few years.. &lt;!-- Google hits: 14,900 for &quot;Now he belongs to the ages&quot; vs 30 for &quot;Now he belongs to the angels&quot; and many of these also mentioning the more common attribution, and none as yet found citing sources older than the internet. ~ Kalki 2007•05•04 --&gt; Stanton had originally opposed Lincoln, dubbing him &quot;The Original Gorilla&quot; because of his looks and frontier speech, but eventually grew to admire him.

* You lay a wreath on murdered Lincoln's bier, &lt;br /&gt; You, who with mocking pencil wont to trace, &lt;br /&gt; Broad for the self-complacent British sneer, &lt;br /&gt; His length of shambling limb, his furrowed face.
** [[Tom Taylor]], ''Britannia Sympathises with Columbia'', in ''Punch'' (6 May 1865); assigned to Taylor by Shirley Brooks in his Diary (10 May 1865) — see G. S. Layard's ''Life, Letters, and Diaries of Shirley Brooks of Punch''

* We leave to some Emil Ludwig or his ilk the drawing of Abraham Lincoln's portrait with rosy little wings. Lincoln's significance lies in his not hesitating before the most severe means once they were found to be necessary in achieving a great historic aim posed by the development of a young nation. The question lies not even in which of the warring camps caused or itself suffered the greatest number of victims. History has different yardsticks for the cruelty of the Northerners and the cruelty of the Southerners in the Civil War. A slave-owner who through cunning and violence shackles a slave in chains, and a slave who through cunning or violence breaks the chains — let not the contemptible eunuchs tell us that they are equals before a court of morality!
** [[Leon Trotsky]], &quot;[[w:Their Morals and Ours|Their Morals and Ours]]&quot; (1939)

* He has doctrines, not hatreds, and is without ambition except to do good and serve his country.
** Rep. [[w:Elihu B. Washburne|Elihu B. Washburne]] (R-IL) on the nomination of Lincoln (29 May 1860)

* He has a face like a hoosier Michael Angelo, so awful ugly it becomes beautiful, with its strange mouth, its deep-cut, criss-cross lines, and its doughnut complexion.
** [[Walt Whitman]] (March 1863), ''Selected Letters'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=E-gs9DrIWmcC&amp;pg=PA53&amp;dq=%22face+like+a+hoosier+Michael+Angelo%22 p. 53]

* '''O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done, &lt;br /&gt; The [[ship]] has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won''', &lt;br /&gt; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, &lt;br /&gt; While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
:: But O heart! heart! heart!
:::O the bleeding drops of red,
::::Where on the deck my Captain lies,
:::::Fallen cold and dead.
:* [[Walt Whitman]], in [[w:O Captain! My Captain!|O Captain! My Captain!]], written in memory of Lincoln, after his assassination

* The cruelest thing that has happened to Lincoln since he was shot by Booth was to fall into the hands of [[w:Carl Sandburg|Carl Sandburg]].
** [[Edmund Wilson]], ''Patriotic gore'' (1962), [http://books.google.com/books?id=TPpkiosd5MgC&amp;pg=PA115&amp;dq=%22fall+into+the+hands+of+Carl+Sandburg%22 p. 115]

*Stern, indomitable 'Old Abe'. There was no compromising or evasion with him to catch votes and secure another term of Presidential office. Equality and the love of human right and a recognition of the fundamental truth that the colour of the skin ought not to differentiate the human race weighed more with him. Freedom was with him an eternal principle, to live in the White House was a temporary fleeting.
**[[w:John Wilson (Mid Durham MP)|John Wilson]], ''Memories of a Labour Leader'' (1910), pp. 173–174

* The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States.
** Attributed to the ''Chicago Times'' as their editorial following the Gettysburg Address, but never traced in that newspaper's archives.

*We feel that the loss of such a man is not only a loss to the nation over which he presided, but a loss to the world at large. Raised by the force of his own character and genius from a humble position in the ranks of industry to be the first citizen of a great and glorious republic, his memory will be endeared to and enshrined in the hearts of the toiling millions of all countries, as one of the few uncrowned monarchs of the world. Abraham Lincoln has been sacrificed in the cause of negro emancipation, and the freedom of the slave has been consecrated by the blood of his deliverer. 
**[[w:London Working Men's Association|London Working Men's Association]]'s address, ‘To the President, Government, and People of the United States’, quoted in ''The assassination of Abraham Lincoln...and the attempted assassination of William H. Seward, secretary of state, and Frederick W. Seward, assistant secretary, on the evening of the 14th of April, 1865'' (1867), p. 346

* From time to time, life as a leader can look hopeless. To help you, consider a man who lived through this: Failed in business at age 31. Defeated for the legislature at 32. Again failed in business at 34. Sweetheart died at 35. Had a nervous breakdown at 36. Defeated in election at 38. Defeated for Congress at 43. Defeated for Congress at 46. Defeated for Congress at 48. Defeated for Senate at 55. Defeated for Vice President at 56. Defeated for Senate at 58. Elected President at age 60. This man was Abraham Lincoln.
** Anonymous; these numbers are years in the 1800s, not ages of his life {{source}}&lt;!-- &quot;If this is a &quot;notable anonymous quotation&quot; then please cite where it is &quot;noted.&quot; --&gt;

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 458-59&lt;/small&gt;
* &quot;Railsplitter.&quot;
** Lincoln and John Hanks in 1830 split 3,000 rails. Incident related in the House of Representatives by Washburn, and quoted in the Republican State Convention at Decatur, Macon County

* Some opulent force of genius, soul, and race, &lt;br /&gt; Some deep life-current from far centuries &lt;br /&gt; Flowed to his mind and lighted his sad eyes, &lt;br /&gt; And gave his name, among great names, high place.
** [[w:Joel Benton|Joel Benton]], ''Another Washington'' (Lincoln)

* To set the stones back in the wall &lt;br /&gt; Lest the divided house should fall. &lt;br /&gt; The beams of peace he laid, &lt;br /&gt; While kings looked on, afraid.
** [[John Vance Cheney]], ''Lincoln''

* Unheralded, God's captain came &lt;br /&gt; As one that answers to his name; &lt;br /&gt; Nor dreamed how high his charge, &lt;br /&gt; His privilege how large.
** [[John Vance Cheney]], ''Lincoln''

* If so men's memories not a monument be, &lt;br /&gt; None shalt thou have. Warm hearts, and not cold stone, &lt;br /&gt; Must mark thy grave, or thou shalt lie, unknown. &lt;br /&gt; Marbles keep not themselves; how then, keep thee?
** [[John Vance Cheney]], ''Thy Monument''

* O, Uncommon Commoner! may your name &lt;br /&gt; Forever lead like a living flame! &lt;br /&gt; Unschooled scholar! how did you learn &lt;br /&gt; The wisdom a lifetime may not earn? &lt;br /&gt; Unsainted martyr! higher than saint! &lt;br /&gt; You were a man with a man's constraint. &lt;br /&gt; In the world, of the world was your lot; &lt;br /&gt; With it and for it the fight you fought, &lt;br /&gt; And never till Time is itself forgot &lt;br /&gt; And the heart of man is a pulseless clot &lt;br /&gt; Shall the blood flow slow, when we think the thought &lt;br /&gt; Of Lincoln!
** [[w:Edmund Vance Cooke|Edmund Vance Cooke]], ''The Uncommon Commoner''

* A martyr to the cause of man, &lt;br /&gt; His blood is freedom's eucharist, &lt;br /&gt; And in the world's great hero list &lt;br /&gt; His name shall lead the van.
** [[w:Charles G. Halpin|Charles G. Halpin]], ''Death of Lincoln''

* When Lincoln died, hate died — &lt;br /&gt; * * * * * * &lt;br /&gt; And anger, came to North and South &lt;br /&gt; When Lincoln died.
** [[w:W. J. Lampton|W. J. Lampton]], ''Lincoln''

* That nation has not lived in vain which has given the world Washington and Lincoln, the best great men and the greatest good men whom history can show. * * * You cry out in the words of Bunyan, &quot;So Valiant-for-Truth passed over, and all the trumpets sounded for him on the other side.&quot;
** [[Henry Cabot Lodge]], ''Lincoln'', address before the Massachusetts Legislature (Feb. 12, 1909)

* Nature, they say, doth dote, &lt;br /&gt; And cannot make a man &lt;br /&gt; Save on some worn-out plan &lt;br /&gt; Repeating us by rote: &lt;br /&gt; For him her Old World moulds aside she threw &lt;br /&gt; And, choosing sweet clay from the breast &lt;br /&gt; Of the unexhausted West, &lt;br /&gt; With stuff untainted shaped a hero new.
** [[James Russell Lowell]], ''A Hero New''

*White southerners saw Lincoln as anti-slavery and his election as a direct threat to the survival of the peculiar institution. Are you going to tell me that they were stupid or deluded? Is that any way for white southerners to honor their ancestors, by ridiculing their intelligence? Indeed, [[Stephen A. Douglas|Stephen Douglas]]'s decision to accuse Lincoln of embracing racial equality tells us that playing the race, or racism, card in the 1850s was alive and well, because Douglas believed that he would gain political traction among racist Illinois voters, who were white, after all, by associating Lincoln with the cause of black equality. '''Lincoln's response was thus also an issue of political survival. So was his decision not to publicize his support for limited black suffrage in Louisiana in 1864. He advanced the idea in a private letter, but waited thirteen months until he made his sentiment public, and three days after he made that sentiment public, he fell victim to an assassin's bullet because [[w:John Wilkes Booth|that assassin]] [[Bigotry|could not bear the thought of]] black equality. Lincoln knew he lived in a racist America, north and south'''.
**[[Brooks D. Simpson]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/race-and-slavery-north-and-south-some-logical-fallacies/#comment-47560 &quot;Race and Slavery, North and South: Some Logical Fallacies&quot;] (18 June 2011), ''Crossroads'', WordPress

* Look on this cast, and know the hand &lt;br /&gt; That bore a nation in its hold; &lt;br /&gt; From this mute witness understand &lt;br /&gt; What Lincoln was — how large of mould.
** [[Edmund Clarence Stedman]], ''Hand of Lincoln''

* Lo, as I gaze, the statured man, &lt;br /&gt; Built up from yon large hand appears: &lt;br /&gt; A type that nature wills to plan &lt;br /&gt; But once in all a people's years.
** [[Edmund Clarence Stedman]], ''Hand of Lincoln''

* No Cæsar he whom we lament, &lt;br /&gt; A Man without a precedent, &lt;br /&gt; Sent, it would seem, to do &lt;br /&gt; His work, and perish, too.
** [[Richard Henry Stoddard]], ''The Man We Mourn Today''

* It's one of those figures that everybody knows who he is, so they think they know who he is, and they don't. They just know a name. They just know an idea. What he was, finally, in my view, was that he created the United States as we know it, he created the nation state as we know it.
** [[Gore Vidal]], as quoted in ''Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia'' (2013), documentary film

*Mr. Bates was for compulsory deportation. 'The Negro would not', he said, 'go voluntary'. He had great local attachment but no enterprise or persistency. '''[[w:Abraham Lincoln|The President]] objected unequivocally to compulsion. The emigration must be voluntary and without expense to themselves'''. [[Great Britain]], Denmark and perhaps other powers would take them. I remarked there was no necessity for a treaty which had been suggested. Any person who desired to leave the country could do so now, whether white or black, and it was best to have it so-a voluntary system; the emigrant who chose to leave our shores could and would go where there were the best inducements.
**[[Gideon Welles]], as quoted in [http://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/2713705.pdf?acceptTC=true ''Diary of Gideon Wells''], I, p. 152

* This dust was once the man, &lt;br /&gt; Gentle, plain, just and resolute, under whose cautious hand, &lt;br /&gt; Against the foulest crime in history known in any land or age, &lt;br /&gt; Was saved the Union of these States.
** [[Walt Whitman]], ''Memories of President Lincoln'', ''This Dust Was Once the Man''

* O captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done; &lt;br /&gt; The ship has weather'd every rack; the prize we sought is won; &lt;br /&gt; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, &lt;br /&gt; While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring? &lt;br /&gt; But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, &lt;br /&gt; Where on the deck my captain lies, fallen cold and dead.
** [[Walt Whitman]], ''Captain! My Captain!''

* The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage is closed and done. &lt;br /&gt; From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won. &lt;br /&gt; Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells; but I with mournful tread &lt;br /&gt; Walk the deck my captain lies, fallen cold and dead.
** [[Walt Whitman]], ''Captain! My Captain!''

*That means nigger citizenship. Now, by God, I will put him through. That will be the last speech he will ever make.
**[[w:John Wilkes Booth|John Wilkes Booth]], to [[w:Lewis Powell (conspirator)|Lewis Powell]] after Lincoln's [http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/last.htm last public address] (11 April 1865), as quoted in Steers, Edward (2002). Blood on the Moon. Lexington, Ky.: University Press of Kentucky. {{ISBN|0813122775}}, p. 91. Also mentioned in Swanson, James. Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer. Harper Collins, 2006. {{ISBN|978-0-06-051849-3}}

==See also==
* [[List of presidents of the United States]]

== External link ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}[https://www.wishingyoufirst.online/2019/10/abraham-lincoln-quotes-about-education.html Abraham Lincoln Quotes About Education | Democracy | Civil War | Liberties | Slavery | Freedom]

[https://www.wishingyoufirst.online/2019/10/best-abraham-lincoln-quotes-on-life.html Best Abraham Lincoln Quotes On Life]

*[http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/al16.html White House Biography]
*[http://www.abrahamlincoln.org/ The Lincoln Institute]
**[http://www.mrlincolnandfreedom.org Mr. Lincoln and Freedom]
**[http://www.mrlincolnandfriends.org Mr. Lincoln and Friends]
**[http://www.mrlincolnandthefounders.org Mr. Lincoln and the Founders]
**[http://www.mrlincolnandnewyork.org Mr. Lincoln and New York]
**[http://www.mrlincolnswhitehouse.org Mr. Lincoln's White House]
*[http://rogerjnorton.com/Lincoln77.html Especially for Students: An Overview of Abraham Lincoln's Life]
*[http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/alhtml/alhome.html Mr. Lincoln's Virtual Library]
*[http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/alhtml/malhome.html Abraham Lincoln Papers at the Library of Congress] (1850&amp;ndash;1865)
*[http://www.nps.gov/liho/historyculture/debates.htm The Lincoln - Douglas Debates (1858)]
*[http://www.bartleby.com/251/ Political Debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A. Douglas at Bartleby.com]
*[http://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/prespoetry/al.html Poetry written by Abraham Lincoln]
*[http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org Abraham Lincoln Online]
*[http://www.hti.umich.edu/l/lincoln/ The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln]
*[http://lenbernstein.com/Pages/EgoJustice.html Discussion of John Drinkwater's play ''Abraham Lincoln'']
*[http://www.nps.gov/linc/ The Lincoln Memorial] Washington, D.C.
*[http://rogerjnorton.com/Lincoln.html Abraham Lincoln's Assassination]
*[http://www.lincolnherald.com/1970articleSubstitute.html John Summerfield Staples, President Lincoln's &quot;Substitute&quot;]
===Documents at [[w:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]]===
* Speeches and addresses
**{{gutenberg | no=4 | name=Gettysburg Address}}
**{{gutenberg | no=9 | name=Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address}}
**{{gutenberg | no=8 | name=Abraham Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address}}
**{{gutenberg | no=8110 | name=Lincoln Letters}}
**{{gutenberg | no=14721 | name=Speeches and Letters of Abraham Lincoln, 1832-1865}}
**{{gutenberg | no=5024 | name=State of the Union Addresses}}
* ''The Writings of Abraham Lincoln''
**{{gutenberg | no=2653 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 1: 1832-1843}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2654 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 2: 1843-1858}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2655 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 3: the Lincoln-Douglas debates}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2656 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 4: the Lincoln-Douglas debates}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2657 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 5: 1858-1862}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2658 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 6: 1862-1863}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2659 | name=Writings of Abraham Lincoln, the - Volume 7: 1863-1865}}
* Miscellany
**{{gutenberg | no=12462 | name=A Compilation of the Messages and Papers of the Presidents: Volume 6, part 1: Abraham Lincoln}}
**{{gutenberg | no=2517 | name=Lincoln's Yarns and Stories}}

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      <text bytes="85566" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Plato. Etching by D. Cunego, 1783, after R. Mengs after Raph Wellcome V0004702.jpg|thumb|Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul; on which they mightily fasten, imparting grace, and making the soul of him who is rightly educated graceful, or of him who is ill-educated ungraceful. ~ [[Plato]]]]
[[File:A Rock cut Seated Buddha Statue at Bojjannakonda, Visakhapatnam District.jpg|thumb|The ascetic Gotama … avoids watching dancing, singing, music and shows. ~ [[Gautama Buddha]]]]
[[File:King Solomon (Zahrtmann).jpg|thumb|Better to listen to a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools. ~ [[Ecclesiastes]]]]
[[File:Eugène Delaplanche - La Musique.jpg|thumb|Music is the [[voice]] of love. ~ [[Robert G. Ingersoll]] ]]
'''[[w:Music|Music]]''' is an art form that involves sounds and silence. Music may be used for artistic or aesthetic, communicative, entertainment, or ceremonial purposes. The definition of what constitutes music varies according to culture and social context.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha|[[#Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'']]}}
==Quotes==
==A==

* What is called music today is all too often only a disguise for the monologue of power. However, and this is the supreme [[irony]] of it all, never before have musicians tried so hard to communicate with their audience, and never before has that communication been so deceiving. Music now seems hardly more than a somewhat clumsy excuse for the self-glorification of musicians and the growth of a new industrial sector.
** [[Jacques Attali]], in ''Classic Essays on Twentieth-Century Music'' (1996), p. 122

==B==
* Despite the fact that as an art, music cannot compromise its principles, and politics, on the other hand, is the art of compromise, when politics transcends the limits of the present existence and ascents to the higher sphere of the possible, it can be joined there by music. Music is the art of the imaginary par excellence, an art free of all limits imposed by words, an art that touches the depth of human existence, and art of sounds that crosses all borders. As such, music can take the feelings and imagination of [[Israelis]] and [[Palestinians]] to new unimaginable spheres.
** [[Daniel Barenboim]], statement at the {{w|Knesset}} upon receiving the {{w|Wolf Prize}}, May 9, 2004, [https://electronicintifada.net/content/daniel-barenboims-statement-knesset-upon-receiving-wolf-prize-may-9-2004/5080 transcript online] (16 May 2004) at ''{{w|The Electronic Intifada}}.

* Ancient belief in a cosmos composed of spheres, producing music as angels guided them through the heavens, was still flourishing in Elizabethan times. ...There is a good deal more to [[w:Pythagoreanism|Pythagorean]] musical theory than celestial harmony. Besides the [[w:Musica universalis|music of the celestial spheres]] (''musica mundana''), two other varieties of music were distinguished: the sound of instruments...(''musica instrumentalis''), and the continuous unheard music that emanated from the human body (''musica humana''), which arises from  a resonance between the body and the soul. ...In the medieval world, the status of music is revealed by its position within the [[w:Quadrivium|Quadrivium]]—the fourfold curriculum—alongside arithmetic, geometry, and astronomy. Medieval students... believed all forms of harmony to derive from a common source. Before [[Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius|Boethius]]' studies in the ninth century, the idea of musical harmony was not considered independently of wider matters of celestial or ethical harmony.
** [[John D. Barrow]], ''The Artful Universe'' (1995)&lt;!-- Ch. 5, pp. 201-202 --&gt;

* Our sensitivity to changes of pitch ... is underused in musical sound. Western music, in particular, is based on scales that use pitch changes that are at least twenty times bigger than the smallest changes that we could perceive. If we used our discriminatory power to full, we could generate an undulating sea of sound that displayed continuously changing frequency rather like the undersea sonic songs of dolphins and whales.
** [[John D. Barrow]], ''The Artful Universe'' (1995)&lt;!-- Ch. 5, p. 225 --&gt;

* Today’s music has all the variety of a jackhammer.
** [[Gregory Benford]], ''The Sigma Structure Symphony'' (2012), reprinted in [[w:Paula Guran|Paula Guran]] (ed.), ''Ex Libris: Stories of Librarians, Libraries &amp; Lore'' (p. 357)

* Someday you will be a man, &lt;br&gt; And you will be the leader of a big old band. &lt;br&gt; Many people coming from miles around &lt;br&gt; To hear you play your music when the sun go down &lt;br&gt; Maybe someday your name will be in lights &lt;br&gt; Saying Johnny B. Goode tonight.
** [[Chuck Berry]], ''{{w|Johnny B. Goode}}, {{w|Chuck Berry Is on Top}}'' (1958)

* The ascetic Gotama … avoids watching dancing, singing, music and shows. He abstains from using garlands, perfumes, cosmetics, ornaments and adornments. … He refrains from running errands, from buying and selling.
** [[Gautama Buddha]], ''[[Digha Nikaya]]'', M. Walshe, trans. (1987), Sutta 1, verse 1.10, p. 69

* &lt;p&gt;Monks, you should dwell with the doors to your senses well-guarded. ...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;On hearing a sound with the ear, do not grasp at any theme or details by which — if you were to dwell without restraint over the faculty of the ear — evil, unskillful qualities such as greed or distress might assail you. Practice for its restraint. Guard the faculty of the ear. Secure your restraint with regard to the faculty of the ear.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[Gautama Buddha]], Kumma Sutta, as translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

* [[Bhikkhus]], you should train thus: 'We will guard the doors of our sense faculties. On hearing a sound with the ear, we will not grasp at its signs and features. Since, if we left the ear faculty unguarded, evil unwholesome states of covetousness and grief might invade us, we will practice the way of its restraint, we will guard the ear faculty, we will undertake the restraint of the ear faculty.'
** [[Gautama Buddha]], Mahā-Assapura Sutta, Sutta 39, Verse 8, ''[[Majjhima Nikaya]]'', as translated by Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli and Bhikkhu Bodhi (Wisdom Publications: 1995), p. 364

* Oh, that I were&lt;br /&gt;The viewless spirit of a lovely sound,&lt;br /&gt;A living voice, a breathing harmony,&lt;br /&gt;A bodiless enjoyment—born and dying&lt;br /&gt;With the blest tone which made me!
** [[Lord Byron]], ''{{w|Manfred}}'' (1817), Act I, scene ii.

==C==
* Our music has sprung from the patient, incessant, and progressive penetration into the law of resonance, that is to say, from the successive exploitation of the ''octave'', the ''fifth'' and the ''fourth'' (ninth to twelfth century), the third (thirteenth to sixteenth century), the ''seventh'' (seventeenth and eighteenth century), the ''major ninth'', the ''augmented fifth'', and the ''perfect eleventh'' (nineteenth and twentieth centuries) . . . . this evolution . . . . constitutes, at the same time, the only true justification of the musical art.
** ''The Evolution of Music'', {{w|Alfredo Casella}}, quoted in Miller, Horace Alden (1930). ''New Harmonic Devices'', p. 96.

* Music is mere [[beauty]]; it is beauty in the [[abstract]], beauty in solution. It is a shapeless and liquid element of beauty, in which a man may really float, not indeed affirming the [[truth]], but not denying it.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uc2.ark:/13960/t1jh3p35c;view=1up;seq=101 ''George Bernard Shaw''] (1909), pp. 95–96.

* We get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing except [[prayer]].
**[[w:J. Reuben Clark|J. Reuben Clark]], LDS Conference Report, Oct. 1936.

* &quot;Music&quot; includes sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats.
** [http://www.statutelaw.gov.uk/content.aspx?LegType=All+Legislation&amp;title=criminal+justice&amp;Year=1994&amp;searchEnacted=0&amp;extentMatchOnly=0&amp;confersPower=0&amp;blanketAmendment=0&amp;sortAlpha=0&amp;TYPE=QS&amp;PageNumber=1&amp;NavFrom=0&amp;parentActiveTextDocId=2156203&amp;ActiveTextDocId=2156294&amp;filesize=25793 Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994, Section 63 (1)(b)] (United Kingdom).
** This section attempts to define music played at [[wikt:rave|raves]], in order to give police power to ban them. It was widely ridiculed at the time and since (see, e.g., Marcel Berlins, &quot;Writ Large&quot;, ''The Guardian'', February 1, 1994).

==D==
* In order for music to free itself, it will have to pass over to the other side — there where territories tremble, where the structures collapse, where the [[w:ethos|ethoses]] get mixed up, where a powerful song of the earth is unleashed, the great [[w:ritornello|ritornelles]] that transmutes all the airs it carries away and makes return.
** [[Gilles Deleuze]], from his ''Essays Critical and Clinical'', p. 104.

* One of my friends whom I hold in high esteem admitted to me the other day that when he wants to work nowadays … he has to turn on his radio. The droning of the loudspeaker—so he says—puts him in a favorable frame of mind and ideas pour out. I cannot help but thinking that this is not the act of a true musician. For thought has a rhythm of its own, which must either clash with the rhythm from outside and lose energy, or else submit to the outer impulse in restless slavery.
** [[Georges Duhamel]], ''In Defense of Letters'' (1937), E. Bozman, trans. (1939), p. 34

* Music is like a [[mirror]] in front of you. You're exposing everything, but surely that's better than suppressing. … You have to dig deep and that can be hard for anybody, no matter what profession. I feel that I need to actually push myself to the limit to feel [[happy]] with the [[end]] [[result]].
** [[Enya]], as quoted in &quot;Everyone thinks I'm so shockable&quot;, an interview with Neil McCormick in ''The Telegraph'' (24 November 2005).

==E==
* Better to listen to a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools.
** [[Ecclesiastes]] 7:5

==F==
* It appears to me that the subject of music, from Machaut to Boulez, has always been its construction. Melodies of 12-tone rows just don't happen. They must be constructed. … To demonstrate any formal idea in music, whether structure or stricture, is a matter of construction, in which the methodology is the controlling metaphor of the composition... Only by 'unfixing' the elements traditionally used to construct a piece of music could the sounds exist in themselves—not as symbols, or memories which were memories of other music to begin with.
** [[Morton Feldman]], quoted in {{cite book| title=Classic Essays on Twentieth-Century Music| id={{ISBN|0028645812}}| author=Kostelanetz, Richard (editor) and Joseph Darby (editor)}}

==G==
[[File:James_Hetfield_with_Metallica_--_7_October_2004.jpg|thumb|right|''Music is something everyone on Earth can share. Music is meant to heal us, to bring us together, to make us happy.'']]
* Music is something everyone on Earth can share. Music is meant to heal us, to bring us together, to make us happy.
** [[Ariana Grande]], [https://twitter.com/ArianaGrande/status/868164986887176192 ''Twitter'' statement on the Manchester terrorist attack] (May 2017)

* The emphasis of study upon a particular aspect of music is in itself ideological because it contains implications about the music's value.
** {{cite book| title=Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture| author=Green, Lucy| year=1999| id={{ISBN|0631212639}}| chapter=Ideology}}

==H==
* Music has no subject beyond the combinations of notes we hear, for music speaks not only by means of sounds, it speaks nothing but sound.
** [[Eduard Hanslick]], quoted by Wolfgang Sandberger (1996) in the liner notes to the [[w:Juilliard String Quartet|Juilliard String Quartet's]] ''Intimate Letters''. Sony Classical SK 66840.

* We must ask whether a cross-cultural musical universal is to be found in the music itself (either its structure or function) or the way in which music is made.  By 'music-making,' I intend not only actual performance but also how music is heard, understood, even learned.
** Dane Harwood (1976:522). &quot;Universals in Music: A Perspective from Cognitive Psychology&quot;, ''Ethnomusicology'' 20, no. 3:521-33.

* If there's one thing the [[US military]] enjoys more than keeping our womenfolk in silk stockings during the second world war, it's bombarding its enemies with objectively terrible music. Just last week a report crept out about a group of special psychological operations officers who drive around [[Afghanistan]] in an armoured vehicle and blast the locals with [[Taliban]]-peeving music like [[Metallica]], [[w:Thin Lizzy|Thin Lizzy]] and [[w:The Offspring|the Offspring]] at earth-shaking volume. &lt;br&gt; The technique is called acoustic bombardment and – along with sensory deprivation and good old-fashioned sexual humiliation – is one of the military's favourite non-lethal coercion techniques. The music itself tends to be exactly the type of aggressively macho fare you'd expect. Metallica are always near the top of the pile, along with [[Eminem]], [[Dr. Dre]], [[Bruce Springsteen]]'s [[w:Born in the U.S.A|Born In The USA]] – presumably because officers are experimenting with [[torture]] by profound lyrical [[sarcasm]] – and nonsense like Fuck Your God by gormless [[w:Death metal|death metal]] quartet [[w:Deicide (band)|Deicide]]. [[w:David Gray (musician)|David Gray]]'s [[w:Babylon (David Gray song)|Babylon]] used to be on the playlist but it's fallen out of favour, either because Gray expressed his outrage, or because top brass realised that no crime is serious enough to warrant being made to listen to it more than once within a single lifetime. &lt;br&gt; The problem with acoustic bombardment, though, is that it plainly doesn't work. Just because I'd confess to hundreds of atrocities the second that someone started flapping a copy of [[w:St Anger|St Anger]] in my face, chances are that the Taliban probably wouldn't.
** Stuart Heritage, [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2010/apr/17/metallica-miltary-weapon-glee “Why use Metallica as a military weapon when Glee is available?”], ''The Guardian'', (16 Apr 2010)

* The human attitude of which classical music is the expression is always the same; it is always based on the same kind of insight into life and strives for the same kind of victory over blind change. Classical music as gesture signifies knowledge of the tragedy of the human condition, affirmation of human destiny, courage, cheerful serenity.
** [[Herman Hesse]], ''[[w:The Glass Bead Game|The Glass Bead Game]]''.

* We consider classical music to be the epitome and quintessence of our culture, because it is that culture’s clearest, most significant gesture and expression. In this music we possess the heritage of classical antiquity and Christianity, a spirit of serenely cheerful and brave piety, a superbly chivalric morality. For in the final analysis every important cultural gesture comes down to a morality, a model for [[human behavior]] concentrated into a gesture.
** [[Herman Hesse]], Joseph Knecht in ''[[The Glass Bead Game]]'', R. Winton, trans. (1990)

*A chord is by no means an agglomeration of intervals. It is a new unit which, although dependent on the formative power of the single interval, is felt as being self-existent and as giving to the constituent intervals meanings and functions which they otherwise would not have.
**[[w:Paul Hindemith|Paul Hindemith]] (1952: 72). ''A Composer's World''. Cambridge, Mass.

* Elected Silence, sing to me
:And beat upon my whorlèd ear,
:Pipe me to pastures still and be
:The music that I care to hear.
:* [[Gerard Manley Hopkins]], &quot;The Habit of Perfection&quot;

* We can no longer maintain any distinction between music and discourse about music, between the supposed object of analysis and the terms of analysis.
** {{cite book| title=Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture| author=Bruce Horner| year=1999| id={{ISBN|0631212639}}| chapter=Discourse}}

* Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
** [[Victor Hugo]], ''[[w:William Shakespeare (essay)|William Shakespeare]] (1864) Part I, Book II, Chapter IV [http://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/William_Shakespeare_-_I_-_II.4]

==I==
* [[Love]] is the only bow on [[Life]]'s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening [[star]]. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of [[art]], inspirer of [[poet]], [[patriot]] and [[philosopher]]. It is the [[air]] and [[light]] of every heart — builder of every [[home]], kindler of every [[fire]] on every hearth. It was the first to [[dream]] of immortality. It fills the [[world]] with melody — for music is the [[voice]] of love. Love is the [[Magic|magician]], the enchanter, that changes worthless things to [[Joy]], and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous [[flower]], the heart, and without that sacred [[passion]], that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, [[earth]] is [[heaven]], and we are [[gods]].
** [[Robert G. Ingersoll]]'', Orthodoxy'' (1884).

* ''Itaque sine Musica nulla disciplina potest esse perfecta, nihil enim sine illa. Nam et ipse mundus quadam harmonia sonorum fertur esse conpositus, et coelum ipsud sub harmoniae modulatione revolvi.''
** And without music there can be no perfect knowledge, for there is nothing without it. For even the universe itself is said to have been put together with a certain harmony of sounds, and the very heavens revolve under the guidance of harmony.
** [[Isidore of Seville]], ''Etymologiae'' Bk. 3, ch. 17, sect. 1; p. 137. &lt;small&gt;Translations and page-numbers are taken from Ernest Brehaut ''An Encyclopedist of the Dark Ages: Isidore of Seville'' (New York: B. Franklin, [1912] 1964).&lt;/small&gt; Bk. 3, ch. 17, sect. 1; p. 137.

==J==
* And they are singing as if a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders; and no one was able to master that song but the hundred and forty-four thousand, who have been bought from the earth.
** [[John of Patmos]], [[Revelation]] 14:3, NWT.

==K==
* Our study adds relatively little to the volumes that have been written about the [[w:Digital|digital]] transition in the music industry - often held up as the &quot;canary in the coal mine&quot; for other [[media]] markets. We share the increasingly consensual view that the situation is better understood as a crisis of the high-margin CD business-and of the &quot;big four&quot; record labels ([[w:EMI|EMI]], [[w:Sony Music Entertainment|Sony Music Entertainment]], the [[w:Universal Music Group|Universal Music Group]], and [[w:Warner Music Group|Warner Music Group]]), which have relied nearly exclusively on it for their profits - rather than a crisis of the music business in general. The decline in this side of the business had, without doubt, been precipitious (see figure 1.3). According to the IFPI, global recorded music sales dropped from $33.7 bilion in 001 to $18.4 bilion in 2008 - almost entirely attributable to the decine of CD sales. In the [[United States]], CD sales fell from $7 bilion in 2004 to $3.1 billin in 2008 - a stuation somewhat mitigated by the rise in digital sales from zero to $1.8 billion in that period. Recorded music sales in most other countries have been in similar free fall. Between 2004 and 2008, [[Brazilian]] recorded music sales shrank from $399 million to $179 million; [[Russian]] sales dropped from $352 million to $221 million; sales in [[Mexico]] from $ 237 million to $145 million. In [[South Africa]], considered a bright spot in international sales, sales grew through 2007 - peaking at $129 million before falling to $199 million in 2008.
** Joe Karaganis, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Media_Piracy_in_Emerging_Economies.html?id=AHo3AgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Media Piracy in Emerging Economies&quot;], (2011), p. 41.

* The [[w:CD|CD]]'s sharp decline in the [[United States]] has been offset by the growth in digital sales and concert revenues: the latter more than tripled, from $1.3 billion in 1998 to $4.2 billion in 2008. Such numbers point to a shift from a high-margin industry dominated by CD sales, the album format, and the big four labels to a lower-margin business with more emphasis on performance and related rights. They do not, in our view, point to an existential threat to the music business, much less to music culture. &lt;br&gt; [[Developing countries]] share in these trends including the fall in CD sales and the growth of the [[w:Live performance|live-performance]] market. But the structure of the global marketplace also creates important points of divergence. In broad terms, this structure is relatively simple, marked by (1) the near complete dominance of the big four labels in most developing markets - some 84% of the market in [[Brazil]], 82% in [[Mexico]], and 78% in [[South Africa]], for example, (2) the concentration of 80% - 85% of revenues in the [[United States]], [[w:Western Europe|Western Europe]], [[Japan]], [[Australia]], and [[Canada]], and (3) the absence, in most developing countries, of strong domestic competitors capable of building viable alternative distribution strategies, such as Apple and other digital distributors are doing in the United States. &lt;br&gt; In practice, these factors reinforce the high-price, very-small-market dynamic visible in most developing countries. They create a context in which the big four labels have every incentive to protect high-income markets but little incentive to change their pricing strategies in low - and middle-income markets. Compared to high-value markets like the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan, the [[w:Emerging market|emerging markets]] are simply inconsequential. Price cuts to expand the market in Brazil, South Africa, or Mexio would have a very limited upside in this context and a potentially serious downside if they began to undermine pricing conventions in the high-income markets. The major's evaluation of this tradeoff is clear: none have significantly lowered prices in emerging markets.
** Joe Karaganis, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Media_Piracy_in_Emerging_Economies.html?id=AHo3AgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Media Piracy in Emerging Economies&quot;], (2011), p. 43

* Recent [[w:IIPA|IIPA]] reports cite rates of music piracy in excess of 90% in [[China]], [[India]], [[Mexico]], and [[Brazil]]. Less and less of this traffic takes place on the street, as physical piracy shifts toward the narrower stock and higher margins of [[w:DVD|DVDs]].
** Joe Karaganis, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Media_Piracy_in_Emerging_Economies.html?id=AHo3AgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Media Piracy in Emerging Economies&quot;], (2011), p. 44

* The limit case, in our studies, is [[Bolivia]], where the impasse of high prices, low incomes, and ubiquitous piracy shuttered all but one local label in the early 2000s and drove the majors out altogether. The tiny Bolivian legal market, worth only $20 million at its peak, was destroyed. But Bolivian music culture was not. Below the depleted high-end commercial landscape our work documents the emergence of a generation of new producers, artists, and commercial practices much of it rooted in indigenous communities and distributed through informal markets. The resulting mix of pirated goods, promotional CDs and low-priced recordings has created, for the first time in that country, a popular market for recorded music. For the vast majority of Bolivians, recorded music has never been so prolific or affordable.
** Joe Karaganis, [https://books.google.com/books/about/Media_Piracy_in_Emerging_Economies.html?id=AHo3AgAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Media Piracy in Emerging Economies&quot;], (2011), p.44.

* Music is the Language of Love.
** [[w:Eyran Katsenelenbogen|Eyran Katsenelenbogen]], ''One Time'' (2016)

* Improvise like a composer; compose like an improviser.
** [[w:Eyran Katsenelenbogen|Eyran Katsenelenbogen]], ''One Time'' (2018)

* Musical virtuosity is not the ability to play something fast, but to learn it slowly.
** [[w:Eyran Katsenelenbogen|Eyran Katsenelenbogen]], ''One Time'' (2018)

* We are the composers of the music of our lives.
** [[w:Eyran Katsenelenbogen|Eyran Katsenelenbogen]], ''One Time'' (2021)

* Language addresses itself to the ear. No other medium does this. The ear is the most spiritually determined of the senses. That I believe most men will admit. Aside from language, music is the only medium that addresses itself to the ear. Herein is again an analogy and a testimony concerning the sense in which music is a language. … Language has time as its element; all other media have space as their element. Music is the only other one that takes place in time. … Music exists only in the moment of its performance, for if one were ever so skillful in reading notes and had ever so lively an imagination, it cannot be denied that it is only in an unreal sense that music exists when it is read. It really exists only being performed. This might seem to be an imperfection in this art as compared with the others whose productions remain, because they have their existence in the sensuous. Yet this is not so. It is rather a proof of the fact that music is a higher, or more spiritual art.
** [[Søren Kierkegaard]] ''Either/Or Part I'', Swenson p. 66-67.

[[File:Tuku Junior High School Chinese Orchestra 土庫國中國樂團.jpg|thumb|According to the Teachings of [[Plato]], music should not be understood in the narrow sense of music alone, but as participation in all the harmonious arts...  One should learn how to develop one's own musicality by all possible means. The heart's feeling is sensed not in the words themselves but in their sound. There can be no irritation in harmony. Malice cannot exist where the spirit ascends.  ~ [[Koot Hoomi]] ]]

*Urusvati has developed her musical talent beautifully. This proficiency is achieved as the result of much labor in [[Reincarnation|other lives]]. 42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

*According to the Teachings of [[Plato]], music should not be understood in the narrow sense of music alone, but as participation in all the harmonious arts. In singing, in poetry, in painting, in sculpture, in architecture, in speech, and, finally, in all manifestations of sound, musicality is expressed. In Hellas a ceremony to all the Muses was performed. Tragedy, dance, and all rhythmic movement served the harmony of [[Cosmos]]. Much is spoken about [[beauty]], but the importance of [[harmony]] is little understood. Beauty is an uplifting concept, and each offering to beauty is an offering to the equilibrium of Cosmos. Everyone who expresses music in himself sacrifices, not for himself, but for others, for humanity, for Cosmos. 42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

*[[Perfection]] of thought is an expression of beautiful musicality. The highest rhythm is the best prophylaxis, a pure bridge to the highest worlds. Thus We affirm Beauty in Our Abode. Urusvati has noted that the music of the spheres is characterized by a harmony of rhythm. It is precisely this quality that brings [[inspiration]] to humanity. People usually do not think about the sources of inspiration, but if they did they would help Our work greatly.  42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

*You know about the special musical instruments that are in Our possession. Urusvati has heard them. The refined scale and rhythm of Sister Oriole should be acknowledged as the highest harmony. Often such singing has served to bring [[peace]] to the world, and even the servants of darkness have retreated before its harmonies.&lt;br&gt; One should learn how to develop one’s own musicality by all possible means. 42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

*The heart’s feeling is sensed not in the words themselves but in their sound. There can be no irritation in [[harmony]]. [[Malice]] cannot exist where the spirit ascends. It is not by chance that in antiquity the epic scriptures were sung, not only to facilitate memorizing but also for inspiration. Likewise, it is rhythm and harmony that protect us against fatigue. 42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

*The quality of music and rhythm should be developed from infancy. 42.
**[[Koot Hoomi]], ''Supermundane''  (1938)

==L==
* But music moves us, and we know not why;&lt;br /&gt;We feel the tears, but cannot trace their source.&lt;br /&gt;Is it the language of some other state,&lt;br /&gt;Born of its memory ? For what can wake&lt;br /&gt;The soul's strong instinct of another world,&lt;br /&gt;Like music?
** [[Letitia Elizabeth Landon]], ''Erinna'', The Golden Violet (1827)

* We would liken music to Aladdin’s lamp — worthless in itself, not so for the spirits which obey its call. We love it for the buried hopes, the garnered memories, the tender feelings, it can summon with a touch.
** [[Letitia Elizabeth Landon]], ''[[Romance and Reality]]'' (1831) Vol I, Chapter 8, page 64
   
*What a change will come over our conceptions of art and music also for the artist of that day there will be many more colors and many more shades of color than those of which we now know, for the knowledge of the higher planes brings as one of its earliest results the  power of appreciating all these different hues. The music of that day will be accompanied by color, just as the color studies will be accompanied by harmonious sound; for sound and color are simply two aspects of every ordered motion, so that a magnificent piece played upon the organ will be accompanied by a splendid display of glowing color, and thus another interest will be added to the delight of glorious music, and an additional advantage will in this way be enjoyed by the  students of music and art.  p.  344 
**[[Charles Webster Leadbeater]], ''Some Glimpses of Occultism: Ancient and Modern'' (1903)

* He sat still a long time. Music will not save us, Otto Egorin had said. Not you, or me, or her, the big golden-voiced woman who had no children and wanted none; not Lehmann who sang the song; not Schubert who had written it and was a hundred years dead. What good is music? None, Gaye thought, and that is the point. To the world and its states and armies and factories and Leaders, music says, “you are irrelevant”; and, arrogant and gentle as a god, to the suffering man it says only, “Listen.” For being saved is not the point. Music saves nothing. Merciful, uncaring, it denies and breaks down all the shelters, the houses men build for themselves, that they may see the sky.
** [[Ursula K. Le Guin]], ''An die Musik'' (first published in ''The Western Humanities Review'' (1961) Vol. 15, No. 3)

* ''Hey Jude, don't make it bad &lt;br&gt; Take a sad song and make it better &lt;br&gt; Remember to let her into your heart &lt;br&gt; Then you can start to make it better''
** {{w|Lennon–McCartney}}, ''{{w|Hey Jude}}'' (1968)

* ''Musica est exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi.''
** Music is a hidden arithmetic exercise of the soul, which does not know that it is counting.
*** [[Leibniz|Leibniz, Gottfried Wilhelm]]. From a letter to {{w|Christian Goldbach}}, April 17, 1712. Quot. after: Schäfke, R. ''Geschichte der Musikästhetik in Umrissen''. Mit einem Vorwort von Werner Korte. 2 Aufl. Tutzing, Schneider, 1964, S. 289

* The story of your brain on music is the story of an exquisite orchestration of brain regions, involving both the oldest and newest parts of the human brain, and regions as far apart as the cerebellum in the back of the head and the frontal lobes just behind your eyes. It involves a precision choreography... between logical prediction systems and emotional reward systems. ...it reminds us of other music we have heard, and it activates memory traces of emotional times of our lives. Your brain on music is all about... connections.
** [[Daniel Levitin]], ''This is Your Brain on Music'' (2006)

* So much of the research on musical expertise has looked for accomplishment in the wrong place, in the facility of the fingers rather than the expressiveness of emotion.
** Daniel Levitin, ''This is Your Brain on Music'' (2006)

* Music, or any art form... has to strike the right balance between simplicity and complexity.
** [[Daniel Levitin]], ''This is Your Brain on Music'' (2006)

* Music is one of the fairest and most glorious gifts of God, to which Satan is a bitter enemy; for it removes from the [[heart]] the weight of [[sorrow]], and the fascination of [[evil]] [[thoughts]].
** {{w|Martin Luther}}

==M==
* We're blues people. And blues never lets tragedy have the last word.
** [[Wynton Marsalis]] in Smithsonian Magazine, November 2005.

* Music is [[reflection]] of [[self]], we just explain it, and then we get our checks in the mail.
** [[Eminem|Marshall Mathers]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pJohXna9qg &quot;Sing For the Moment&quot;], ''The Eminem Show'' (2002), Universal Music Group North America

* Most people have music in the center of their lives. I believe my work sheds light on how music affects us and why it is so influential.
** Susan McClary, quoted in {{cite web| url=http://www.ucla.edu/spotlight/archive/html_2001_2002/fac0502_mcclalry.html| title=Spotlight: Susan McClary, Musicologist| date=May 2002| author=Sullivan, Meg}}

* Of what use is musical knowledge? Here is one idea. Each child spends endless days in curious ways; we call this play. A child stacks and packs all kinds of blocks and boxes, lines them up, and knocks them down. … Clearly, the child is learning about space! ... how on earth does one learn about time? Can one time fit inside another? Can two of them go side by side? In music, we find out!
** [[Marvin Minsky]], [http://web.media.mit.edu/~minsky/papers/MusicMindMeaning.html &quot;Music, Mind, and Meaning&quot;] (1981).

* Listening to music engages the previously acquired personal knowledge of the listener.
** [[Marvin Minsky]], &quot;Music, Mind, and Meaning&quot; ibid.

* We must see that [[w:Music theory|music theory]] is not only about music, but about how people process it. To understand any art, we must look below its surface into the psychological details of its creation and absorption.
** [[Marvin Minsky]], &quot;Music, Mind, and Meaning&quot; ibid.

* Music makes things in our minds, but afterward most of them fade away. What remains? ...perhaps what we learn is not the music itself but a way of hearing it.
** [[Marvin Minsky]], &quot;Music, Mind, and Meaning&quot; ibid.

* All aspects of musical practice may be disengaged, and privileged, in order to give birth to new forms of variation: variations on the relationships between the composer and the performer, between the conductor and the performer, between the performers, between the performer and the listener, variations upon gestures, variations on silence that end in a mute music that is still music because it preserves still something of the musical totality of the tradition...all elements belonging to the total musical fact may be separated and taken as a strategic variable of musical production. This autonomization serves as true musical experimentation: little by little, the individual variables that make up a total musical fact are brought to light. Any particular music then appears as one that has made a choice among these variables, and that has privileged a certain number of them. Under these conditions, musical analysis would have to begin by recognizing the strategic variables characteristic of a given musical system: musical invention and musical analysis lend each other mutual aid.
** [[w:Jean Molino|Jean Molino]] quoted in {{cite book| title=Music and Discourse: Toward a Semiology of Music| pages=42–43| id={{ISBN|0691027145}}| author=Jean-Jacques Nattiez, Abbate, Carolyn (translator)| year=1987 (original), 1990 (translation)}}
[[File:WMK - Becher Ode an die Freude.jpg|thumb|Pure music helps... We pray by sounds and by symbols of Beauty. The heart and mind do not conflict when they sail the Ocean of Creative Labor. And the wings of the bird of the spirit, atremble, will soar upon the breeze of harmony. ~ [[Morya]]]]
* Being in a band is really great when you're 20. When you're 30, it's kind of 'Spinal Tap,' and when you're 40, it's just pathetic.
** [[w:Mark Mothersbaugh|Mark Mothersbaugh]] of [[Devo]], quoted in {{cite news| publisher=New York Times| title=Make a Myth, Whip It Good| date=2001-04-18}}

* Pure music helps the transmission of the current. We pray by sounds and by symbols of Beauty. The heart and mind do not conflict when they sail the Ocean of Creative Labor. And the wings of the bird of the spirit, atremble, will soar upon the breeze of harmony. 181.
** [[Morya]], ''Leaves of Morya’s Garden I,''  (1924)

* People feel sometimes something singing within them. Such a song is never disharmonious. One can rejoice when such vibrations stir one’s being.   18.
** [[Morya]],  ''Fiery World II'' (1934) 

* Once, according to an old legend, there came a messenger from a distant world to give people equality, brotherhood and joy. Long since had people forgotten their songs. They remained in a stupor of hate. The messenger banished darkness and crowdedness, smote infection, and instituted joyful labor. Hatred was stilled, and the sword of the messenger remained on the wall. But all were silent and knew not how to begin singing. Then the messenger assembled the little children, led them into the woods, and said to them: “These are your flowers, your brooks, your trees. No one has followed us. I shall rest—and you fill yourselves with joy.” Thereupon, timidly they ventured into the forest. At last the littlest one came to a meadow and sighted a ray of the sun. Then a yellow oriole sounded its call. The little one followed it, whispering. And soon joyously he sang out, “The sun is ours!” One by one the children gathered upon the meadow, and a new hymn to Light rang out. The messenger said: “Man has again begun to sing. Come is the date!”  162
** [[Morya]], ''New Era Community''  (1926)

* Among one’s human [[Incarnation|incarnations]] there is invariably found an incarnation devoted to rhythmic labor. Whether this be some sort of craftsmanship or music, singing or farm work, every man infallibly will cultivate in himself the rhythm which fills all of life. Upon learning of certain incarnations, people frequently are astonished as to why they should have been so insignificant. But in them there was being worked out the rhythm of labor. One of the greatest of qualities, this must be acquired through [[conflict]] and [[patience]].  49.
** [[Morya]],  ''Brotherhood'' (1937)

* All music is just performances of [[w:4′33″|4'33&quot;]] in studios where another band happened to be playing at the time.
:* [[Randall Munroe]] in ''[[xkcd]] [http://xkcd.com/1199/ 1199]''

==N==
* If we compel the composer to write in terms of what the listener is able to hear, we flirt with the danger of ''freezing'' the evolution of musical language, whose progressive development comes about through ''transgressions'' of a given era's perceptual habits.&quot;
** {{cite book| title=Music and Discourse: Toward a Semiology of Music| id={{ISBN|0691027145}}| author=[[w:Jean-Jacques_Nattiez|Jean-Jacques Nattiez]], Abbate, Carolyn (translator)| year=1987 (original), 1990 (translation)}}

* Without music, life would be a mistake.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], ''[[w:Twilight of the Idols|Götzen-Dämmerung]]'' (''Twilight of the Idols'').

* While music has long been recognized as an effective form of therapy to provide an outlet for emotions, the notion of using song, sound frequencies and rhythm to treat physical ailments is a relatively new domain, says psychologist Daniel J. Levitin, PhD, who studies the neuroscience of music at McGill University in Montreal. A wealth of new studies is touting the benefits of music on mental and physical health. For example, in a meta-analysis of 400 studies, Levitin and his postgraduate research fellow, Mona Lisa Chanda, PhD, found that music improves the body's [[immune system]] function and reduces [[stress]]. Listening to music was also found to be more effective than prescription drugs in reducing [[anxiety]] before [[surgery]] (Trends in Cognitive Sciences, April, 2013).
** Amy Novotney, [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/11/music “Music as medicine”], ''APA.org'', “Monitor on Psychology”, November 2013, Vol 44, No. 10 

* &quot;We've found compelling evidence that musical interventions can play a health-care role in settings ranging from operating rooms to family clinics,&quot; says Levitin, author of the book &quot;This is Your Brain on Music&quot; (Plume/Penguin, 2007). The analysis also points to just how music influences health. The researchers found that listening to and playing music increase the body's production of the antibody immunoglobulin A and natural killer cells — the cells that attack invading viruses and boost the immune system's effectiveness. Music also reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
** Amy Novotney, [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/11/music “Music as medicine”], ''APA.org'', “Monitor on Psychology”, November 2013, Vol 44, No. 10 

* One recent study on the link between music and stress found that music can help soothe pediatric emergency room patients (JAMA Pediatrics, July, 2013). In the trial with 42 children ages 3 to 11, University of Alberta researchers found that patients who listened to relaxing music while getting an IV inserted reported significantly less [[pain]], and some demonstrated significantly less [[distress]], compared with patients who did not listen to music. In addition, in the music-listening group, more than two-thirds of the health-care providers reported that the IVs were very easy to administer — compared with 38 percent of providers treating the group that did not listen to music.
** Amy Novotney, [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/11/music “Music as medicine”], ''APA.org'', “Monitor on Psychology”, November 2013, Vol 44, No. 10 

* &quot;There is growing scientific evidence showing that the brain responds to music in very specific ways,&quot; says Lisa Hartling, PhD, professor of pediatrics at the University of Alberta and lead author of the study. &quot;Playing music for kids during painful medical procedures is a simple intervention that can make a big difference.&quot; &lt;br&gt; Music can help adult patients, too. Researchers at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital in Singapore found that patients in palliative care who took part in live music therapy sessions reported relief from persistent pain (Progress in Palliative Care, July, 2013). Music therapists worked closely with the patients to individually tailor the intervention, and patients took part in singing, instrument playing, lyric discussion and even song writing as they worked toward accepting an illness or weighed end-of-life issues.  &lt;br&gt; &quot;Active music engagement allowed the patients to reconnect with the healthy parts of themselves, even in the face of a debilitating condition or disease-related suffering,&quot; says music therapist Melanie Kwan, co-author of the study and president of the Association for Music Therapy, Singapore. &quot;When their acute pain symptoms were relieved, patients were finally able to rest.&quot;
** Amy Novotney, [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/11/music “Music as medicine”], ''APA.org'', “Monitor on Psychology”, November 2013, Vol 44, No. 10 

==O==
* The main thing is not to lose your identity and to continue working ... You have a quartet. That is such joy! You can forget everything else in the world. I'm playing a lot of chamber music these days. Tomorrow we were going to give the first performance of two trios, but because of the mourning, all concerts have been canceled.
** [[David Oistrakh]], [http://www.nytimes.com/1989/03/05/magazine/the-night-stalin-died.html?module=Search&amp;mabReward=relbias:r&amp;pagewanted=2 nytimes.com]

==P==
* The talk about the poets seems to me like a commonplace entertainment to which a vulgar company have recourse; who, because they are not able to converse or amuse one another, while they are drinking, with the sound of their own voices and conversation, by reason of their stupidity, raise the price of flute-girls in the market, hiring for a great sum the voice of a flute instead of their own breath, to be the medium of intercourse among them: but where the company are real gentlemen and men of education, you will see no flute-girls, nor dancing-girls, nor harp-girls; and they have no nonsense or games, but are contented with one another’s conversation, of which their own voices are the medium, and which they carry on by turns and in an orderly manner, even though they are very liberal in their potations. And a company like this of ours, and men such as we profess to be, do not require the help of another’s voice, or of the poets whom you cannot interrogate about the meaning of what they are saying; people who cite them declaring, some that the poet has one meaning, and others that he has another, and the point which is in dispute can never be decided. This sort of entertainment they decline, and prefer to talk with one another, and put one another to the proof in conversation. And these are the models which I desire that you and I should imitate. Leaving the poets, and keeping to ourselves, let us try the mettle of one another and make proof of the truth in conversation.
** [[Plato]], ''Protagoras'' in Protagoras 347c, Benjamin Jowett, trans

* Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul; on which they mightily fasten, imparting grace, and making the soul of him who is rightly educated graceful, or of him who is ill-educated ungraceful.
** [[Plato]], ''The Republic'', Book 3

* In this day and time you can't even get sick; you are strung-out! Well by God, I'll tell you something, friend: I have never been strung-out in my life, except on music!
** [[Elvis Presley]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXH95kHlj7 Las Vegas Hilton, Sept. 1974]

==R==
* As a society built upon the very ideals of ecumenicalism and catholicity, as the leading technological and industrial nation of our time, and as the principal nexus between European high art and the musics of other classes and cultures, America stands at the forefront of the music of tomorrow.
** [[w:John Rockwell|John Rockwell]] (1983). ''All American Music: Composition in the Late Twentieth Century''. New York: Alfred A. Knopf. {{ISBN|0394511638}}.

* Composers have different ways of getting their message out.  So, when my teacher told me not to be a snob, this is what he did that put me right in my place.  I mean, man, I was such a [[w:jazz|jazz]] snob, and he said to me, when I cracked on him about &quot;[[w:Sugar, Sugar|Sugar, Sugar]]&quot;, he said, &quot;'''Let me tell you something little brother, any song that makes it into the [[w:Top 40|Top 40]] is a great composition.'''&quot;  And I said, &quot;Why would you call it a great composition?&quot;, [[w:Ted Dunbar|Ted]].  And he said, &quot;'''Because it speaks to the souls of a million strangers.'''&quot; I was like, &quot;Whoo!&quot;  I was like &quot;Pap, smack little kid, now go sit down, and write 'Do-do-do-do' -- punk.  Huh huh.  Go sit down and write that.&quot;  I did...
** [[w:Nile Rodgers|Nile Rodgers]], in ''Front and Center'', &quot;The Songwriters Hall of Fame: Nile Rodgers&quot; (2017)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR2WQyeWTnI

* Ah, music,&quot; he said, wiping his eyes. &quot;A magic far beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!
** [[J. K. Rowling]], ''[[Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone]]'', spoken by [[Albus Dumbledore]]

* It's not about your music. It's about what ''makes'' your music your music. You've got to have a feeling like that. You have to have a reason for your music. Have something besides the technical. Make it for something. Make it for kindness, make it for peace, whatever it is. You know what I mean?
** {{w|Sonny Rollins}}, in [https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-interview/sonny-rollins-on-the-pandemic-protests-and-music &quot;Sonny Rollins on the Pandemic, Protests and Music&quot;] by Daniel King, in ''The New Yorker'' (June 11, 2020)

==S==
* I might as well endeavour to perswade, that the Sun is a glorious, and beneficial Planet; as take pains to Illustrate Musick with my imperfect praises; for every reasonable Mans own mind will be its Advocate. Musick, belov'd of Heaven, for it is the business of Angels; Desired on Earth as the most charming Pleasure of Men. The world contains nothing that is good, but what is full of Harmonious Concord, nor nothing that is evil, but is its opposite, as being the ill favour'd production of Discord and Disorder. I dare affirm, those that love not Musick (if there be any such) are Dissenters from Ingenuity, and Rebels to the Monarchy of Reason.
** {{cite book| title=The Genteel Companion| author=Humphrey Salter| year=1683}}

* Music is essentially useless, as life is. 
** [[George Santayana]], ''Life of Reason'' (1905) vol. 4, ch. 4

* The effect of music is so very much more powerful and penetrating than is that of the other arts, for these others speak only of the shadow, but music of the essence.
** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''The World as Will and Representation'' (1819) Vol. I, Ch. II.

* This art is ''music''. It stands quite apart from all the others. In it we do not recognize the copy, the repetition, of any Idea of the inner nature of the world. Yet it is such a great and exceedingly fine art, its effect on man's innermost nature is so powerful, and it is so completely and profoundly understood by him in his innermost being as an entirely universal language, whose distinctness surpasses even that of the world of perception itself, that in it we certainly have to look for more than that ''exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi'' [exercise in arithmetic in which the mind does not know it is counting] which [[Gottfried Leibniz|Leibniz]] took it to be.
** Arthur Schopenhauer, ''The World As Representation'': Second Aspect, Vol. I, Ch. III as translated by Eric F. J. Payne (1958).

* The term 'chromatic' is understood by musicians to refer to music which includes tones which are not members of the prevailing scale, and also as a word descriptive of those individually non-diatonic tones.
** {{cite book| title=Chromatic Harmony| author=J. Shir-Cliff| year=1965| publisher=The Free Press| id={{ISBN|0029286301}}| location=New York}}

* If music be the food of love, play on;&lt;br/&gt; Give me excess of it that, surfeiting,&lt;/br&gt; The appetite may sicken and so die.&lt;br/&gt;
** [[William Shakespeare]], Orsino in ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' Act I, sc. i.

* Music is the brandy of the damned.
** [[George Bernard Shaw]], in [[w:Man and Superman|Man and Superman]] (Act III) (1903).

* Music—the language of the immortals, disclosed to us as testimony of their existence...
** [[Mary Shelley]], ''The Last Man'' (1826)

*We give our souls to our music. We put our lives on the fucking wax and the labels treat us like shit.
**[[DMX (rapper)|Earl Simmons]], on the Backstreet Boys and label problems, as quoted in ''XXL Magazine''.

* Sometimes even in the habitual course of life, the reality of this world disappears all at once, and we feel ourselves in the middle of its interests as we should at a ball, where we did not hear the music; the dancing that we saw there would appear insane.
** Germaine de Staël, ''De l'Allemagne'' (1813) Information gathered from the [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/06/05/dance-insane/ Quote Investigator].

*[S]o far as music ever had a &quot;meaning&quot; beyond the immediate and exquisite value of the sound-pattern itself, its &quot;meaning&quot; must be simply an emotional attitude. It could never speak directly about the objective world, or &quot;the nature of existence&quot;; but it might create a complex emotional attitude which might be appropriate to some feature of the objective world, or to the universe as a whole.
** [[Olaf Stapledon]], ''[[w:Sirius (novel)|Sirius]]'' (1944).

* It was music, more than anything else, that led the Pythagoreans to believe that the universe is a harmonious place governed by numbers.
** [[w:Ian Stewart (mathematician)|Ian Stewart]], ''Another Fine Math You’ve Got Me Into'' (1992) p. 236

* I was ... attacked for being a pasticheur, chided for composing “simple” music, blamed for deserting “modernism,” accused of renouncing my “true Russian heritage.” People who had never heard of, or cared about, the originals cried “sacrilege”: “The classics are ours. Leave the classics alone.” To them all my answer was and is the same: You “respect,” but I love.
** [[Igor Stravinsky]], ''Expositions and Developments'' (1959), pp. 113-114

==T==
* The day you open your mind to music, you're halfway to opening your mind to life.
** [[Pete Townshend]] of [[the Who]], [[Pop Chronicles]], [http://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc19778/m1/ Show 23 - Smack Dab in the Middle on Route 66. Part 2], interview recorded in London 2.5.1968 [http://www.library.unt.edu/resolveuid/48fe95aee842a128007590b91af79db3]

==V==
* Our musical alphabet is poor and illogical. Music, which should pulsate with life, needs new means of expression, and science alone can infuse it with youthful vigor. Why, Italian Futurists, have you slavishly reproduced only what is commonplace and boring in the bustle of our daily lives. I dream of instruments obedient to my thought and which with their contribution of a whole new world of unsuspected sounds, will lend themselves to the exigencies of my inner rhythm.
** [[Edgard Varese]], quoted in {{cite book| title=Classic Essays on Twentieth-Century Music| id={{ISBN|0028645812}}| author=Kostelanetz, Richard (editor) and Joseph Darby (editor)}}

==W==
* [[Steven Pinker]] … advances interesting ideas about understanding human mind in terms of “[[w:Reverse engineering|reverse engineering]]”: we see that adaptations to our environment have been achieved, and define our task as explaining the means by which these have come about. … But Pinker finds music making—universal in all cultures—to be anomalous. Which means there must be something basically wrong or missing in his view. [[William James|James]] could have told him what it is: To miss the joy is to miss all. … The fusion of reality and ideal novelty excites and empowers us, and does so because we are organisms which, to be vital, must celebrate our being.
** [[Bruce Wilshire]], ''Fashionable Nihilism'' (2002), p. 34

* ''Die Menschen heute glauben, die Wissenschaftler seien da, sie zu belehren, die Dichter und Musiker, etc., sie zu erfreuen. Daß diese sie etwas zu lehren haben; kommt ihnen nicht in den Sinn''.
** People nowadays think that scientists exist to instruct them, poets, musicians, etc. to give them pleasure. The idea that these have something to teach them—that does not occur to them.
** [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]], ''Culture and Value'' (1980), p. 36

* One day I said to myself that it would be better to get rid of all that—melody, rhythm, harmony, etc. This was not a negative thought and did not mean that it was necessary to avoid them, but rather that, while doing something else, they would appear spontaneously. We had to liberate ourselves from the direct and peremptory consequence of intention and effect, because the intention would always be our own and would be circumscribed, when so many other forces are evidently in action in the final effect.
** [[Christian Wolff]], quoted in {{cite book| title=Classic Essays on Twentieth-Century Music| id={{ISBN|0028645812}}| author=Kostelanetz, Richard (editor) and Joseph Darby (editor)}}

* Books! ‘tis a dull and endless strife:&lt;br&gt;Come, hear the woodland Linnet,&lt;br&gt;How sweet his music! on my life,&lt;br&gt;There’s more of wisdom in it.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And hark! how blithe the Throstle sings!&lt;br&gt;He, too, is no mean preacher:&lt;br&gt;Come forth into the light of things,&lt;br&gt;Let Nature be your teacher.
** [[William Wordsworth]], “The Tables Turned; An Evening Scene, On the Same Subject”

==Z==
* '''Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.''' All music is good. It fulfills a social function. It's like wallpaper to your lifestyle. It defines what you are.
** [[Frank Zappa]], [https://www.newspapers.com/image/?clipping_id=75852428 &quot;Upbeat: Frank Zappa, self-styled mocker of mankind&quot;] by Clint Roswell, ''New York Daily News'' (September 30, 1979), p. B6

==''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''==
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 535-41.&lt;/small&gt;

* Music religious heat inspires,&lt;br&gt; It wakes the soul, and lifts it high,&lt;br&gt;And wings it with sublime desires,&lt;br&gt; And fits it to bespeak the Deity.
** [[Joseph Addison]], ''A Song for St. Cecilia's Day'', Stanza 4.

* Music exalts each joy, allays each grief,&lt;br&gt;Expels diseases, softens every pain,&lt;br&gt;Subdues the rage of poison, and the plague.
** [[John Armstrong]], ''The Art of Preserving Health'' (1744), Book IV, line 512.

* That rich celestial music thrilled the air&lt;br&gt;From hosts on hosts of shining ones, who thronged&lt;br&gt;Eastward and westward, making bright the night.
** [[Edwin Arnold]], ''Light of Asia'' (1879), Book IV, line 418.

* Music tells no truths.
** [[Philip James Bailey]], ''Festus'' (1813), scene A Village Feast.

* Rugged the breast that music cannot tame.
** [[J. C. Bampfylde]], ''Sonnet''.

* If music and sweet poetry agree.
** [[Richard Barnfield]], ''Sonnet''.

* Gayly the troubadour&lt;br&gt;Touched his guitar.
** [[Thomas Haynes Bayly]], ''Welcome Me Home''.

* I'm saddest when I sing.
** [[Thomas Haynes Bayly]], ''You think I have a merry heart''.

* God is its author, and not man; he laid&lt;br&gt;The key-note of all harmonies; he planned&lt;br&gt;All perfect combinations, and he made&lt;br&gt;Us so that we could hear and understand.
** [[John Gardiner Calkins Brainard]], ''Music''.

* The rustle of the leaves in summer's hush&lt;br&gt;When wandering breezes touch them, and the sigh&lt;br&gt;That filters through the forest, or the gush&lt;br&gt;That swells and sinks amid the branches high,—&lt;br&gt;'Tis all the music of the wind, and we&lt;br&gt;Let fancy float on this æolian breath.
** [[John Gardiner Calkins Brainard]], ''Music''.

*&quot;Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast,&quot;&lt;br&gt;And therefore proper at a sheriff's feast.
** [[James Bramston]], ''Man of Taste'', first line quoted from Prior.

* And sure there is music even in the beauty, and the silent note which Cupid strikes, far sweeter than the sound of an instrument; for there is music wherever there is harmony, order, or proportion; and thus far we may maintain the music of the spheres.
** Sir [[Thomas Browne]], ''Religio Medici'' (1642), Part II, Section IX. Use of the phrase &quot;Music of the Spheres&quot; given by Bishop Martin Fotherby, ''Athconastrix'', p. 315. (Ed. 1622). Said by Bishop [[John Wilkins]], ''Discovery of a New World'', I. 42. (Ed. 1694).

* Yet half the beast is the great god Pan,&lt;br&gt; To laugh, as he sits by the river,&lt;br&gt;Making a poet out of a man.&lt;br&gt;The true gods sigh for the cost and the pain—&lt;br&gt;For the reed that grows never more again&lt;br&gt; As a reed with the reeds of the river.
** [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]], ''A Musical Instrument''.

* Her voice, the music of the spheres,&lt;br&gt;So loud, it deafens mortals' ears;&lt;br&gt;As wise philosophers have thought,&lt;br&gt;And that's the cause we hear it not.
** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part II (1664), Canto I, line 617.

* For discords make the sweetest airs.
** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part III (1678), Canto I, line 919.

* Soprano, basso, even the contra-alto&lt;br&gt;Wished him five fathom under the Rialto.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''Beppo'' (1818), Stanza 32.

* Music arose with its voluptuous swell,&lt;br&gt;Soft eyes look'd love to eyes which spake again,&lt;br&gt;And all went merry as a marriage bell.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''[[Childe Harold's Pilgrimage]]'', Canto III (1816), Stanza 21.

* There's music in the sighing of a reed;&lt;br&gt;  There's music in the gushing of a rill;&lt;br&gt;There's music in all things, if men had ears:&lt;br&gt;Their earth is but an echo of the spheres.
** [[Lord Byron]], ''[[Don Juan (Byron)|Don Juan]]'' (1818-24), Canto XV, Stanza 5.

* And hears thy stormy music in the drum!
** [[Thomas Campbell]], ''Pleasures of Hope'', Part I.

* Merrily sang the monks in Ely&lt;br&gt;When Cnut, King, rowed thereby;&lt;br&gt;Row, my knights, near the land,&lt;br&gt;And hear we these monkes' song.
** Attributed to King Canute, ''Song of the Monks of Ely'', in Spens, ''History of the English People'', ''Historia Eliensis'' (1066). Chambers' ''Encyclopedia of English Literature''.

* Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Essays'', ''The Opera''.

* When music, heavenly maid, was young,&lt;br&gt;While yet in early Greece she sung,&lt;br&gt;The Passions oft, to hear her shell,&lt;br&gt;Throng'd around her magic cell.
** [[William Collins]], ''The Passions, an Ode for Music'' (1747), line 1.

* In notes by distance made more sweet.
** [[William Collins]], ''The Passions, an Ode for Music'' (1747), line 60.

* In hollow murmurs died away.
** [[William Collins]], ''The Passions, an Ode for Music'' (1747), line 68.

* Music has charms to soothe a savage breast,&lt;br&gt;To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.&lt;br&gt;I've read that things inanimate have moved,&lt;br&gt;And, as with living souls, have been inform'd,&lt;br&gt;By magic numbers and persuasive sound.
** [[William Congreve]], ''The Mourning Bride'', Act I, scene 1.

* And when the music goes te-toot,&lt;br&gt;The monkey acts so funny&lt;br&gt; That we all hurry up and scoot&lt;br&gt;To get some monkey-money.&lt;br&gt; M-double-unk for the monkey,&lt;br&gt; M-double-an for the man;&lt;br&gt; M-double unky, hunky monkey,&lt;br&gt; Hunkey monkey-man.&lt;br&gt; Ever since the world began&lt;br&gt; Children danced and children ran&lt;br&gt; When they heard the monkey-man,&lt;br&gt; The m-double-unky man.
** [[w:Edmund Vance CookeEdmund Vance Cooke]], ''The Monkey-Man'', I rule the House.

* Water and air He for the Tenor chose,&lt;br&gt;Earth made the Base, the Treble Flame arose,&lt;br&gt;To th' active Moon a quick brisk stroke he gave,&lt;br&gt;To Saturn's string a touch more soft and grave.&lt;br&gt;The motions strait, and round, and swift, and slow,&lt;br&gt;And short and long, were mixt and woven so,&lt;br&gt;Did in such artful Figures smoothly fall,&lt;br&gt;As made this decent measur'd Dance of all.&lt;br&gt;And this is Musick.
** [[Abraham Cowley]], ''Davideis'' (1668), Book I, p. 13.

* With melting airs, or martial, brisk, or grave;&lt;br&gt;Some chord in unison with what we hear&lt;br&gt;Is touch'd within us, and the heart replies.
** [[William Cowper]], ''The Task'' (1785), Book VI. Winter Walk at Noon, line 3.

* The soft complaining flute&lt;br&gt; In dying notes discovers&lt;br&gt; The woes of hopeless lovers,&lt;br&gt;Whose dirge is whisper'd by the warbling lute.
** [[John Dryden]], ''A Song for St. Cecilia's Day''.

* Music sweeps by me as a messenger&lt;br&gt;Carrying a message that is not for me.
** [[George Eliot]], ''Spanish Gypsy'' (1868), Book III.

* 'Tis God gives skill,&lt;br&gt;But not without men's hands: He could not make&lt;br&gt;Antonio Stradivari's violins&lt;br&gt;Without Antonio.
** [[George Eliot]], ''Stradivarius'', line 151.

* The silent organ loudest chants&lt;br&gt;The master's requiem.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Dirge''.

* Our 'prentice, Tom, may now refuse&lt;br&gt;To wipe his scoundrel master's shoes;&lt;br&gt;For now he's free to sing and play&lt;br&gt;Over the hills and far away.
** [[George Farquhar]], ''Over the Hills and Far Away'', Act II, scene 3.

* But Bellenden we needs must praise,&lt;br&gt;Who as down the stairs she jumps&lt;br&gt;Sings o'er the hill and far away,&lt;br&gt;Despising doleful dumps.
** ''Distracted Jockey's Lamentation'', ''Pills to Purge Melancholy''.

* Tom he was a piper's son,&lt;br&gt;He learned to play when he was young;&lt;br&gt;But all the tune that he could play&lt;br&gt;Was &quot;Over the hills and far away.&quot;
** ''Distracted Jockey's Lamentation'', ''Pills to Purge Melancholy'' found in ''The Nursery Rhymes of England'' by Halliwell Phillips.

* When I was young and had no sense&lt;br&gt;I bought a fiddle for eighteen pence,&lt;br&gt;And all the tunes that I could play&lt;br&gt;Was, &quot;Over the Hills and Far Away.&quot;
** Old Ballad, in the ''Pedlar's Pack of Ballads and Songs''.

* ''Blasen ist nicht flöten, ihr müsst die Finger bewegen.''
** To blow is not to play on the flute; you must move the fingers.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], Sprüche in Prosa, III.

* Jack Whaley had a cow,&lt;br&gt; And he had nought to feed her;&lt;br&gt;He took his pipe and played a tune,&lt;br&gt; And bid the cow consider.
** Old Scotch and North of Ireland ballad. Lady Granville uses it in a letter. (1836).

* Where through the long-drawn aisle and fretted vault&lt;br&gt;The pealing anthem swells the note of praise.
** [[Thomas Gray]], ''Elegy in a Country Church Yard'', Stanza 10.

* He stood beside a cottage lone,&lt;br&gt; And listened to a lute,&lt;br&gt;One summer's eve, when the breeze was gone,&lt;br&gt; And the nightingale was mute.
** [[Thomas Hervey]], ''The Devil's Progress''.

* Why should the devil have all the good tunes?
** [[Rowland Hill]], ''Sermons''. In his biography by E. W. Broome, p. 93.

* Music was a thing of the soul—a rose-lipped shell that murmured of the eternal sea—a strange bird singing the songs of another shore.
** [[Josiah Gilbert Holland]], ''Plain Talks on Familiar Subjects'', ''Art and Life''.

* From thy dead lips a clearer note is born&lt;br&gt;Than ever Triton blew from wreathéd horn.
** [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]], ''Chambered Nautilus''.

* ''Citharœdus&lt;br&gt;Ridetur chorda qui semper oberrat eadem.''
** The musician who always makes a mistake on the same string, is laughed at.
** [[Horace]], ''Ars Poetica'' (18 BC), 355.

* Play uppe, play uppe, O Boston bells!&lt;br&gt;Ply all your changes, all your swells,&lt;br&gt;Play uppe &quot;The Brides of Enderby.&quot;
** [[Jean Ingelow]], ''High Tide on the Coast of Lincolnshire''.

* When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy.
** Job, XXXVIII. 7.

* Ere music's golden tongue&lt;br&gt;Flattered to tears this aged man and poor.
** [[John Keats]], ''The Eve of St. Agnes'', Stanza 3.

* The silver, snarling trumpets 'gan to chide.
** [[John Keats]], ''The Eve of St. Agnes'', Stanza 4.

* Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard&lt;br&gt;  Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;&lt;br&gt;Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,&lt;br&gt;  Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone.
** [[John Keats]], ''Ode on a Grecian Urn''.

* I even think that, sentimentally, I am disposed to harmony. But organically I am incapable of a tune.
** [[Charles Lamb]], ''A Chapter on Ears''.

* A velvet flute-note fell down pleasantly,&lt;br&gt;Upon the bosom of that harmony,&lt;br&gt;And sailed and sailed incessantly,&lt;br&gt;As if a petal from a wild-rose blown&lt;br&gt;Had fluttered down upon that pool of tone,&lt;br&gt;And boatwise dropped o' the convex side&lt;br&gt;And floated down the glassy tide&lt;br&gt;And clarified and glorified&lt;br&gt;The solemn spaces where the shadows bide.&lt;br&gt;From the warm concave of that fluted note&lt;br&gt;Somewhat, half song, half odour forth did float&lt;br&gt;As if a rose might somehow be a throat.
** [[Sidney Lanier]], ''The Symphony''.

* Music is in all growing things;&lt;br&gt;And underneath the silky wings&lt;br&gt;  Of smallest insects there is stirred&lt;br&gt;  A pulse of air that must be heard;&lt;br&gt;Earth's silence lives, and throbs, and sings.
** [[Lathrop]], ''Music of Growth''.

* Writ in the climate of heaven, in the language spoken by angels.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''The Children of the Lord's Supper'', line 262.

* Yea, music is the Prophet's art&lt;br&gt;Among the gifts that God hath sent,&lt;br&gt;One of the most magnificent!
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''Christus'', Part III. Second Interlude, Stanza 5.

* When she had passed, it seemed like the ceasing of exquisite music.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''Evangeline: A Tale of Acadie'' (1847), Part I. 1.

* He is dead, the sweet musician!&lt;br&gt; * * * *&lt;br&gt;He has moved a little nearer&lt;br&gt;To the Master of all music.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''The Song of Hiawatha'' (1855), Part XV, line 56.

* Music is the universal language of mankind.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''Outre-Mer''. Ancient Spanish Ballads.

* Who, through long days of labor,&lt;br&gt; And nights devoid of ease,&lt;br&gt;Still heard in his soul the music&lt;br&gt; Of wonderful melodies.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], ''The Day is Done'', Stanza 8.

* Such sweet compulsion doth in music lie.
** [[John Milton]], ''Arcades'', line 68.

* Who shall silence all the airs and madrigals that whisper softness in chambers?
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Areopagitica]]'' (1644).

* Can any mortal mixture of earth's mould&lt;br&gt;Breathe such divine enchanting ravishment?
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Comus (John Milton)|Comus]]'' (1637), line 244.

* Ring out ye crystal spheres!&lt;br&gt; Once bless our human ears,&lt;br&gt;If ye have power to touch our senses so;&lt;br&gt; And let your silver chime&lt;br&gt; Move in melodious time;&lt;br&gt;And let the base of Heaven's deep organ blow,&lt;br&gt;And with your ninefold harmony,&lt;br&gt;Make up full consort to the angelic symphony.
** [[John Milton]], ''Hymn on the Nativity'', Stanza 13.

* There let the pealing organ blow,&lt;br&gt;To the full voiced quire below,&lt;br&gt;In service high, and anthems clear,&lt;br&gt;As may with sweetness, through mine ear,&lt;br&gt;Dissolve me into ecstasies,&lt;br&gt;And bring all heaven before mine eyes.
** [[John Milton]], ''Il Penseroso'' (1631), line 161.

* Untwisting all the chains that tie the hidden soul of harmony.
** [[John Milton]], L'Allegro, line 143.

* As in an organ from one blast of wind&lt;br&gt;To many a row of pipes the soundboard breathes.
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Lost]]'' (1667; 1674), Book I, line 708.

* And in their motions harmony divine&lt;br&gt;So smoothes her charming tones, that God's own ear&lt;br&gt;Listens delighted.
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Lost]]'' (1667; 1674), Book V. 620.

* ''Mettez, pour me jouer, vos flûtes mieux d'accord.''
** If you want to play a trick on me, put your flutes more in accord.
** [[Molière]], L'Etourdi, Act I. 4.

* ''La musique celeste.''
** The music of the spheres.
** [[Montaigne]], Book I, Chapter XXII.

* If the pulse of the patriot, soldier, or lover,&lt;br&gt;Have throbb'd at our lay, 'tis thy glory alone;&lt;br&gt;I was but as the wind, passing heedlessly over,&lt;br&gt;And all the wild sweetness I wak'd was thy own.
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''Dear Harp of My Country'', Stanza 2.

*&quot;This must be music,&quot; said he, &quot;of the spears,&lt;br&gt;For I am cursed if each note of it doesn't run through one!&quot;
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''Fudge Family in Paris'', Letter V, line 28.

* The harp that once through Tara's halls&lt;br&gt; The soul of music shed,&lt;br&gt;Now hangs as mute on Tara's walls,&lt;br&gt; As if that soul were fled.
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''Harp That Once''.

* If thou would'st have me sing and play&lt;br&gt; As once I play'd and sung,&lt;br&gt;First take this time-worn lute away,&lt;br&gt; And bring one freshly strung.
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''If Thou, Would'st Have Me Sing and Play''.

* And music too—dear music! that can touch&lt;br&gt;Beyond all else the soul that loves it much—&lt;br&gt;Now heard far off, so far as but to seem&lt;br&gt;Like the faint, exquisite music of a dream.
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''Lalla Rookh'' (1817), ''The Veiled Prophet of Khorassan''.

* 'Tis believ'd that this harp which I wake now for thee&lt;br&gt;Was a siren of old who sung under the sea.
** [[Thomas Moore]], ''Origin of the Harp''.

* She played upon her music-box a fancy air by chance,&lt;br&gt;And straightway all her polka-dots began a lively dance.
** [[Peter Newell]], ''Her Polka Dots''.

* Apes and ivory, skulls and roses, in junks of old Hong-Kong,&lt;br&gt;Gliding over a sea of dreams to a haunted shore of song.
** [[Alfred Noyes]], ''Apes and Ivory.

* There's a barrel-organ carolling across a golden street&lt;br&gt;  In the city as the sun sinks low;&lt;br&gt;And the music's not immortal; but the world has made it sweet&lt;br&gt;  And fulfilled it with the sunset glow.
** [[Alfred Noyes]], ''Barrel Organ''.

* Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
** [[Edgar Wilson Nye]].

* We are the music-makers,&lt;br&gt; And we are the dreamers of dreams,&lt;br&gt;Wandering by lone sea-breakers,&lt;br&gt; And sitting by desolate streams;&lt;br&gt;World-losers and world-forsakers,&lt;br&gt; Of whom the pale moon gleams:&lt;br&gt;Yet we are the movers and shakers&lt;br&gt; Of the world for ever, it seems.
** [[Arthur O'Shaughnessy]], ''Music Makers''.

* One man with a dream, at pleasure,&lt;br&gt; Shall go forth and conquer a crown&lt;br&gt;And three with a new song's measure&lt;br&gt; Can trample a kingdom down.
** [[Arthur O'Shaughnessy]], ''Music Makers''.

* How light the touches are that kiss&lt;br&gt;The music from the chords of life!
** [[Coventry Patmore]], ''By the Sea''.

* He touched his harp, and nations heard, entranced,&lt;br&gt;As some vast river of unfailing source,&lt;br&gt;Rapid, exhaustless, deep, his numbers flowed,&lt;br&gt;And opened new fountains in the human heart.
** [[Robert Pollok]], ''The Course of Time'' (1827), Book IV, line 674.

* Music resembles poetry: in each&lt;br&gt;Are nameless graces which no methods teach&lt;br&gt;And which a master-hand alone can reach.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''[[An Essay on Criticism]]'' (1709), line 143.

* As some to Church repair,&lt;br&gt;Not for the doctrine, but the music there.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''[[An Essay on Criticism]]'' (1709), line 343.

* What woful stuff this madrigal would be&lt;br&gt;In some starv'd hackney sonnetteer, or me!&lt;br&gt;But let a Lord once own the happy lines,&lt;br&gt;How the wit brightens! how the style refines!
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''[[An Essay on Criticism]]'' (1709), line 418.

* Light quirks of music, broken and uneven,&lt;br&gt;Make the soul dance upon a jig to Heav'n.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Moral Essays'' (1731-35), Epistle IV, line 143.

* By music minds an equal temper know,&lt;br&gt;Nor swell too high, nor sink too low.&lt;br&gt;* * * * *&lt;br&gt;Warriors she fires with animated sounds;&lt;br&gt;Pours balm into the bleeding lover's wounds.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day''.

* Hark! the numbers soft and clear,&lt;br&gt;Gently steal upon the ear;&lt;br&gt;Now louder, and yet louder rise&lt;br&gt;And fill with spreading sounds the skies.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day''.

* In a sadly pleasing strain&lt;br&gt;Let the warbling lute complain.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Ode on St. Cecilia's Day''.

* Music's force can tame the furious beast.
** [[Matthew Prior]].

* Seated one day at the organ,&lt;br&gt; I was weary and ill at ease,&lt;br&gt;And my fingers wandered idly&lt;br&gt; Over the noisy keys.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;I do not know what I was playing,&lt;br&gt; Or what I was dreaming then,&lt;br&gt;But I struck one chord of music&lt;br&gt; Like the sound of a great Amen.
** [[Adelaide Anne Procter]], ''Lost Chord''. (As set to music, 5th line reads, &quot;I know not what I was playing.&quot;).

* We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.
** Psalms. CXXXVII. 2.

* Above the pitch, out of tune, and off the hinges.
** [[François Rabelais]], ''Works'', Book IV, Chapter XIX.

* ''Musik ist Poesie der Luft.''
** Music is the poetry of the air.
** [[Jean Paul Richter]].

* ''Sie zog tief in sein Herz, wie die Melodie eines Liedes, die aus der Kindheit heraufklingt.''
** It sank deep into his heart, like the melody of a song sounding from out of childhood's days.
** [[Jean Paul Richter]], ''Hesperus'', XII.

* The soul of music slumbers in the shell,&lt;br&gt;Till waked and kindled by the Master's spell;&lt;br&gt;And feeling hearts—touch them but lightly—pour&lt;br&gt;A thousand melodies unheard before!
** [[Samuel Rogers]], ''Human Life'', line 363.

* Give me some music; music, moody food&lt;br&gt;Of us that trade in love.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Antony and Cleopatra]]'' (1600s), Act II, scene 5, line 1.

* I am advised to give her music o' mornings; they say it will penetrate.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Cymbeline]]'' (1611), Act II, scene 3, line 12.

* And it will discourse most eloquent music.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Hamlet]]'' (1600-02), Act III, scene 2, line 374. (&quot;Excellent music&quot; in Knight's ed.).

* You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Hamlet]]'' (1600-02), Act III, scene 2, line 379.

* How irksome is this music to my heart!&lt;br&gt;When such strings jar, what hope of harmony?
** [[William Shakespeare]], [[Henry VI, Part 2|''Henry VI'', Part II]] (c. 1590-91), scene 1, line 56.

* Orpheus with his lute made trees,&lt;br&gt;And the mountain-tops that freeze,&lt;br&gt; Bow themselves, when he did sing:&lt;br&gt;To his music, plants and flowers&lt;br&gt;Ever sprung; as sun and showers,&lt;br&gt; There had made a lasting spring.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry VIII (play)|Henry VIII]]'' ([[w:Henry VIII (play)#Date|c. 1613]]), Act III, scene 1, line 3.

* Everything that heard him play,&lt;br&gt;Even the billows of the sea,&lt;br&gt;Hung their heads, and then lay by;&lt;br&gt;In sweet music is such art:&lt;br&gt;Killing care and grief of heart&lt;br&gt;Fall asleep, or, hearing, die.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry VIII (play)|Henry VIII]]'' ([[w:Henry VIII (play)#Date|c. 1613]]), Act III, scene 1, line 9.

* The choir,&lt;br&gt;With all the choicest music of the kingdom,&lt;br&gt;Together sung Te Deum.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry VIII (play)|Henry VIII]]'' ([[w:Henry VIII (play)#Date|c. 1613]]), Act IV, scene 1, line 90.

* One whom the music of his own vain tongue&lt;br&gt;Doth ravish like enchanting harmony.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Love's Labour's Lost]]'' (c. 1595-6), Act I, scene 1, line 167.

* Though music oft hath such a charm&lt;br&gt;To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Measure for Measure]]'' (1603), Act IV, scene 1, line 14.

* Let music sound while he doth make his choice;&lt;br&gt;Then, if he lose, he makes a swan-like end,&lt;br&gt;Fading in music.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' (late 1590s), Act III, scene 2, line 43.

* How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!&lt;br&gt;Here will we sit and let the sounds of music&lt;br&gt;Creep in our ears: soft stillness, and the night&lt;br&gt;Becomes the touches of sweet harmony.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' (late 1590s), Act V, scene 1, line 54.

* There's not the smallest orb which thou behold'st&lt;br&gt;But in his motion like an angel sings,&lt;br&gt;Still quiring to the young-eyed cherubins;&lt;br&gt;Such harmony is in immortal souls;&lt;br&gt;But, whilst this muddy vesture of decay&lt;br&gt;Doth grossly close it in, we cannot hear it.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' (late 1590s), Act V, scene 1, line 57.

* Therefore the poet&lt;br&gt;Did feign that Orpheus drew trees, stones and floods;&lt;br&gt;Since nought so stockish, hard and full of rage,&lt;br&gt;But music for the time doth change his nature.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' (late 1590s), Act V, scene 1, line 79.

* The man that hath no music in himself,&lt;br&gt;Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds,&lt;br&gt;Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' (late 1590s), Act V, scene 1, line 83.

* Music do I hear?&lt;br&gt;Ha! ha! keep time: how sour sweet music is,&lt;br&gt;When time is broke and no proportion kept!
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Richard II (play)|Richard II]]'' (c. 1595), Act V, scene 5, line 41.

* Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays&lt;br&gt;And twenty caged nightingales do sing.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]'' (c. 1593-94), Induction, scene 2, line 37.

* Preposterous ass, that never read so far&lt;br&gt;To know the cause why music was ordain'd!&lt;br&gt;Was it not to refresh the mind of man,&lt;br&gt;After his studies or his usual pain?
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]'' (c. 1593-94), Act III, scene 1, line 9.

* This music crept by me upon the waters,&lt;br&gt;Allaying both their fury and my passion&lt;br&gt;With its sweet air.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Tempest]]'' (c. 1610-1612), Act I, scene 2, line 391.

* Take but degree away, untune that string,&lt;br&gt;And, hark, what discord follows!
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Troilus and Cressida]]'' (c. 1602), Act I, scene 3, line 109.

* If music be the food of love, play on;&lt;br&gt;Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,&lt;br&gt;The appetite may sicken, and so die.&lt;br&gt;That strain again! it had a dying fall:&lt;br&gt;O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound&lt;br&gt;That breathes upon a bank of violets,&lt;br&gt;Stealing and giving odour.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Twelfth Night]]'' (c. 1601-02), Act I, scene 1, line 1.

* Song like a rose should be;&lt;br&gt; Each rhyme a petal sweet;&lt;br&gt;For fragrance, melody,&lt;br&gt; That when her lips repeat&lt;br&gt;The words, her heart may know&lt;br&gt;What secret makes them so.&lt;br&gt; Love, only Love.
** [[Frank Dempster Sherman]], ''Song'', in ''Lyrics for a Lute''.

* Musick! soft charm of heav'n and earth,&lt;br&gt;Whence didst thou borrow thy auspicious birth?&lt;br&gt;Or art thou of eternal date,&lt;br&gt;Sire to thyself, thyself as old as Fate.
** [[Edmund Smith]], ''Ode in Praise of Musick''.

* See to their desks Apollo's sons repair,&lt;br&gt;Swift rides the rosin o'er the horse's hair!&lt;br&gt;In unison their various tones to tune,&lt;br&gt;Murmurs the hautboy, growls the hoarse bassoon;&lt;br&gt;In soft vibration sighs the whispering lute,&lt;br&gt;Tang goes the harpsichord, too-too the flute,&lt;br&gt;Brays the loud trumpet, squeaks the fiddle sharp,&lt;br&gt;Winds the French-horn, and twangs the tingling harp;&lt;br&gt;Till, like great Jove, the leader, figuring in,&lt;br&gt;Attunes to order the chaotic din.
** Horace and James Smith, ''Rejected Addresses'', ''The Theatre'', line 20.

* So dischord ofte in musick makes the sweeter lay.
** [[Edmund Spenser]], ''The Faerie Queene'' (1589-96), Book III, Canto II, Stanza 15.

* Music revives the recollections it would appease.
** [[Anne Louise Germaine de Staël]], ''Corinne'' (1807), Book IX, Chapter II.

* The gauger walked with willing foot,&lt;br&gt;And aye the gauger played the flute;&lt;br&gt;And what should Master Gauger play&lt;br&gt;But Over the Hills and Far Away.
** [[Robert Louis Stevenson]], ''Underwoods'', ''A Song of the Road''.

* How her fingers went when they moved by note&lt;br&gt;Through measures fine, as she marched them o'er&lt;br&gt;The yielding plank of the ivory floor.
** [[Benjamin F. Taylor]], ''Songs of Yesterday'', ''How the Brook Went to Mill'', Stanza 3.

* It is the little rift within the lute&lt;br&gt;That by and by will make the music mute,&lt;br&gt;And ever widening slowly silence all.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''[[Idylls of the King]]'' (published 1859-1885), ''Merlin and Vivien'', line 393.

* Music that brings sweet sleep down from the blissful skies.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''The Lotos Eaters'', Choric Song, Stanza 1.

* Music that gentlier on the spirit lies&lt;br&gt;Than tir'd eyelids upon tir'd eyes.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''The Lotos Eaters'', Choric Song, Stanza 1.

* I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
** [[Artemus Ward]], Lecture.

* Strange! that a harp of thousand strings&lt;br&gt;Should keep in tune so long.
** [[Isaac Watts]], ''Hymns and Spiritual Songs'', Book II. 19.

* And with a secret pain,&lt;br&gt;And smiles that seem akin to tears,&lt;br&gt;We hear the wild refrain.
** [[John Greenleaf Whittier]], ''At Port Royal''.

* I'm the sweetest sound in orchestra heard&lt;br&gt;Yet in orchestra never have been.
** [[William Wilberforce]], ''Riddle'', first lines.

* Her ivory hands on the ivory keys&lt;br&gt; Strayed in a fitful fantasy,&lt;br&gt;Like the silver gleam when the poplar trees&lt;br&gt; Rustle their pale leaves listlessly&lt;br&gt;Or the drifting foam of a restless sea&lt;br&gt;When the waves show their teeth in the flying breeze.
** [[Oscar Wilde]], ''In the Gold Room'', ''A Harmony''.

* What fairy-like music steals over the sea,&lt;br&gt;Entrancing our senses with charmed melody?
** Mrs. M. C. Wilson, ''What Fairy-like Music''.

*Music is a world within itself, with a language we all understand!
**Stevie Wonder, &quot;Sir Duke&quot;

* Where music dwells&lt;br&gt;Lingering, and wandering on as loth to die:&lt;br&gt;Like thoughts whose very sweetness yieldeth proof&lt;br&gt;That they were born for immortality.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''Ecclesiastical Sonnets'', Part III. 63. Inside of King's Chapel, Cambridge.

* Bright gem instinct with music, vocal spark.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''A Morning Exercise''.

* Soft is the music that would charm forever:&lt;br&gt;The flower of sweetest smell is shy and lowly.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''Not Love, Not War''.

* Sweetest melodies&lt;br&gt;Are those that are by distance made more sweet.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''Personal Talk'', Stanza 2.

* The music in my heart I bore,&lt;br&gt;Long after it was heard no more.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''The Solitary Reaper''.

* Thank you. If you appreciate the tuning so much, I hope you'll enjoy the playing more.
** [[Ravi Shankar]] tuning up before his performance on Sitar, Soundbite of &quot;The Concert For Bangladesh&quot;

==See also==
* [[Art]]
* [[Mass culture]]
* [[Performance art]]
* [[Singing]]
* [[Piano]]
* [[Guitar]]
* [[Drum]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|music}}

[[Category:Music|*]]
'''''Bold text'''''   qdwdasd  asd
wkdas ,./ok[lksklsk; okkowlks;o;le9i0;'asd0=lasd;l2l-dojksafd-2kdlfam mdasdf
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dslfo3ea3sadfapelghi,m falkorktaa
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      <sha1>0w2kamzlmlmebyd6kk9k0drv0wyche0</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Gayniggers from Outer Space</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>128867</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154809</id>
      <parentid>3154074</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T04:59:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2A02:C7E:E4B:5A00:94A5:A92B:1EF0:547C</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* =Sgt. Shaved Balls */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1971" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Gayniggers from Outer Space|Gayniggers from Outer Space]]''''' is a 1992 short film, directed by Danish filmmaker [[w:Morten Lindberg|Morten Lindberg]].

==Sgt. Shaved Balls==
*[''seeing a man and a woman kissing''] Holy Phallus! What are they DOING down there?

==Capt. B. Dick==
*Kneel down, and get ready to receive the holy gay nigger seed! May it grant you supernatural powers and eternal life!

==Sgt. Shaved Balls=

i use lynx’s to keep my pp smelling fresh

==Dialogue==
:'''Capt. B. Dick''': I know you're afraid, ArmInAss, but my son - this is just a step on the long road to becoming a GayNigger. It started when your father gave birth to you... and who knows, maybe after this mission, you'll get the sign of the brown ring - and can truly call yourself a GayNigger. And that's what you've been preparing for since you went to GayAgent School. 
:'''ArmInAss''': You really think so, sir? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Gay Ambassador''': Wow! What do you think of my new body? 
:'''Capt. B. Dick''': Yes, very attractive. 
:'''ArmInAss''': [''shouts''] You look like a...dream!

==Cast==
* Coco P. Dalbert - ArmInAss
* Sammy Saloman - Capt. B. Dick
* Gerald F. Hail - D. Ildo
* Eden Richardson- Sgt. Shaved Balls
* Konrad Fields - Mr. Schwul
* Johnny Conny - Black Gay Ambassador
* Oscar Tapia of Palestine,Texas - White Gay Ambassador

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0274518|title=Gayniggers from Outer Space}}
* [http://www.queerfilmfestival.se/Filer/gayniggers_from_outer_space.htm The movie is featured] by the Stockholm Queer Film Festival 2006
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20061030080255/http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2006-10-26/news/hairballs.html HoustonPress coverage]: ''Gayniggers from Outer Space'' disrupts a Harris County, Texas, courthouse.

[[Category:1992 films]]
[[Category:Comedy films]]
[[Category:Short films]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Satire films]]
[[Category:LGBT-related films]]</text>
      <sha1>ep4hc83ch7t59qjr5i72ax0887p828c</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154812</id>
      <parentid>3154809</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T05:37:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2A02:C7E:E4B:5A00:94A5:A92B:1EF0:547C|2A02:C7E:E4B:5A00:94A5:A92B:1EF0:547C]] ([[User talk:2A02:C7E:E4B:5A00:94A5:A92B:1EF0:547C|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2A02:C7E:E4B:5A00:94A5:A92B:1EF0:547C|contributions]]) to last version by Operator873</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2126" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Gayniggers from Outer Space|Gayniggers from Outer Space]]''''' is a 1992 short film, directed by Danish filmmaker [[w:Morten Lindberg|Morten Lindberg]].

==Sgt. Shaved Balls==
*[''seeing a man and a woman kissing''] Holy Phallus! What are they DOING down there?

==Capt. B. Dick==
*Kneel down, and get ready to receive the holy gay nigger seed! May it grant you supernatural powers and eternal life!

==Sgt. Shaved Balls==

*Nigger Jews will just be jewish, and thats how it is!*

*Nigger Jew has the ardon virus! Together we can wipe out the gayniggers!*

*Big Niggers love to cream on eachother, very fun and exciting!*

==Dialogue==
:'''Capt. B. Dick''': I know you're afraid, ArmInAss, but my son - this is just a step on the long road to becoming a GayNigger. It started when your father gave birth to you... and who knows, maybe after this mission, you'll get the sign of the brown ring - and can truly call yourself a GayNigger. And that's what you've been preparing for since you went to GayAgent School. 
:'''ArmInAss''': You really think so, sir? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Gay Ambassador''': Wow! What do you think of my new body? 
:'''Capt. B. Dick''': Yes, very attractive. 
:'''ArmInAss''': [''shouts''] You look like a...dream!

==Cast==
* Coco P. Dalbert - ArmInAss
* Sammy Saloman - Capt. B. Dick
* Gerald F. Hail - D. Ildo
* Eden Richardson- Sgt. Shaved Balls
* Konrad Fields - Mr. Schwul
* Johnny Conny - Black Gay Ambassador
* Oscar Tapia of Palestine,Texas - White Gay Ambassador

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0274518|title=Gayniggers from Outer Space}}
* [http://www.queerfilmfestival.se/Filer/gayniggers_from_outer_space.htm The movie is featured] by the Stockholm Queer Film Festival 2006
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20061030080255/http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2006-10-26/news/hairballs.html HoustonPress coverage]: ''Gayniggers from Outer Space'' disrupts a Harris County, Texas, courthouse.

[[Category:1992 films]]
[[Category:Comedy films]]
[[Category:Short films]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Satire films]]
[[Category:LGBT-related films]]</text>
      <sha1>mtbh1g0mq1z4h709w6byhsmz9rtezo5</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>WWE Raw</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>131471</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154777</id>
      <parentid>3153398</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:20:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jzummak</username>
        <id>26978</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* July 24 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="507285" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:WWE Raw|WWE RAW]]''''' (formerly '''''WWF Monday Night Raw''''', '''''WWF RAW Is WAR''''', and '''''WWF War Zone''''') is a wrestling program that has aired on Monday nights since January 11, 1993.

== 1996 ==

===February 19===
:''[after Goldust walks out on Razor Ramon during their Intercontinental Championship match, getting himself counted out but keeping his title]''
:'''Razor Ramon''' ''[taking a microphone]'': Hey yo! Cut the music! ''[his music stops]'' Everybody, listen...to me. Goldust...I don't want your belt. I want...your ass!
:''[the crowd cheers]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Well, we said it was RAW!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What?!
:'''Razor''': You know...I've been hearing so much about...the return, of the &quot;great one&quot;; the legend from the glory days is back. He's our new president, Roddy &quot;Rowdy&quot; Piper.
:'''Jerry''': He's been knocked senseless, McMahon.
:'''Razor''': Well Piper, I heard you say one time...that you got six kids. And that makes you &quot;Hot Rod&quot;. &quot;Well, Razor...Razor, he loves the little kids.&quot; I love the kids, and Piper, you like me, you from the streets - different neighborhoods, same streets. I don't want my kids watching this kind of stuff on TV!
:''[the crowd cheers again]''
:'''Jerry''': What's he saying, McMahon??
:'''Razor''': So Piper, the only thing missing, ''chico''...is make a match! I want Goldust, anywhere, anytime! And Goldust! And Goldust, everybody knows...that you want me! You think I'm sexy? You think I'm hot? You right! So Piper, ooh, Roddy &quot;Rowdy&quot; Piper...okay, big shot, I challenge you, you the, uh...matchmaker...make me a match. Goldust, let's have a date. YEAH!!
:'''Vince''': Razor Ramon, ladies and gentlemen, obviously wants a rematch, with Goldust, and I'm not too sure that he's overly concerned with the title!

===May 27===
:'''Vince McMahon''': Alright, standing by, a very unhappy Ted DiBiase. Mr. DiBiase, you're not very happy at all with the latest turn of events, are you?
:'''[[w:Ted DiBiase|Ted DiBiase]]''': ''[with Stone Cold Steve Austin]'' No, I'm not happy at all, McMahon. To say that Savio Vega's victory last night was a fluke, is an understatement. I mean, the lights were out. Who knows how many times Savio Vega touched the turnbuckles. What I'm saying is, there's no way on his best day Savio Vega defeats Stone Cold Steve Austin...
:'''Vince''': Well, you were counting on Savio being your chauffeur; that did not happen, and Savio Vega was victorious. Now, the rematch has been signed for tomorrow night, and again, it's going to be a Caribbean Strap match, and I would suggest that you still want Savio to...well, that provision, you still want to challenge him, do you?
:'''Ted''': I want to sweeten the pie, McMahon.
:'''Vince''': Sweeten the pie?
:'''Ted''': Savio Vega, you keep that stipulation in there, 'cause you're gonna be my chauffeur. And I'll tell you what. I'm so confident that this man is gonna beat you tomorrow night that I'll put a stipulation in there. If Steve Austin, if Stone Cold Steve Austin doesn't beat you tomorrow night, Savio Vega, the &quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase will forfeit his career! I will leave the World Wrestling Federation! Did you hear me, McMahon?! Did you hear me, Vega?! I will leave the World Wrestling Federation!

=== September 23 ===
:'''[[w:Jim Ross|Jim Ross]]:''' In just a couple of minutes, I'm going to bring Big Daddy Cool, [[w:Kane (wrestler)|Diesel]] and [[w:Rick Bognar|Razor Ramon]] right out here. But before I do, I'd like to beg your indulgence for just a minute and tell you something I got on my mind. There's something I've been wanting to say for a long long time. And when I'm through telling you, many of you are going to question my loyalty to the [[W:World Wrestling Entertainment|World Wrestling Federation]] so let's clear that up right now. I have no loyalty to the World Wrestling Federation, I only got loyalty to good ol' J.R., and let me tell you why. In 1993, I left a great job in Atlanta, Georgia, and I left the [[w:Atlanta Falcons|Atlanta Falcons]] of the [[w:National Football League|National Football League]] to go to the recognized leader of sports entertainment, the WWF. I came here to be the primary play-by-play man in the WWF. I don't think anybody here is going to disagree that I am the best play-by-play man in the whole damn business! So I show up for work the first day at [[w:WrestleMania IX|WrestleMania IX]] in Las Vegas, Nevada, and they give me a sheet to wear. They said, &quot;Oh it's going to be a toga. You'll look good in a toga, J.R.&quot; I leave the National Football League for a toga. It's crap! And then, ladies and gentlemen, I go to the first [[w:King of the Ring (1993)|King of the Ring]] in Dayton, Ohio, and I guarantee you, you listen to that broadcast, I carried the broadcast from ringside. And then did you ever wonder where ol' J.R. went to? Why doesn't ol' J.R. do play-by-play anymore? Let me tell you why. Because the egotistical owner of the World Wrestling Federation—and you know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about Vince McMahon—couldn't stand the competition. So J.R. disappeared. And then on [[w:Super Bowl XXVIII|Super Bowl Sunday of 1994]], I woke up with an affliction called [[w:Bell's Palsy|Bell's Palsy]], and my entire left side of my face looked like it had a stroke. You think I like that? You think I like that my left eye doesn't open all the way because I got sick? Well, let me tell you how warm-hearted Mr. McMahon is. Mr. McMahon called me into his office on February 11th, 1994, and he fired my ass! So I get back in my car and I drive into my home in that overpriced hellhole Connecticut, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to tell my wife and my two little girls that their daddy had just got fired. And so then, remember when McMahon got indicted? They needed somebody to come back and do ''Raw''? They called up J.R. and then they let me go again. So finally they called me back, hired me back for fifty cents on the dollar to come back and work for the front office. Do you think that all these guys leaving the WWF was an accident? Hell no, it's not! You think all these guys coming here was an accident? Absolutely not, I've been very busy. And right now, I want to bring back one of your favorites. He's the Bad Guy, Razor Ramon!

===November 11===
:''[Brian Pillman is being interviewed by Vince McMahon and Kevin Kelly at the Pillman house while Stone Cold Steve Austin is out looking for him]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Notwithstanding the bravado, do you feel like a hostage? Do you feel like a hostage in your own home? 
:'''Brian Pillman''': Hah. Steve is a dead man walking, because when Austin 3:16 meets Pillman ''[draws and slides pistol on camera to everybody's shock]'' nine-millimeter Glock...
:'''Kevin Kelly''': Oh my God, oh my God!
:'''Pillman''': ...I'm gonna blast his sorry ass straight to hell!!

== 1997 ==

=== January 20 ===
:''[Bret Hart comes into the ring at the start of the show]''
:'''[[w:Bret Hart|Bret Hart]]''': There's something I gotta say!
:'''[[w:Jerry Lawler|Lawler]]''': What's he doing out here?
:'''Bret Hart''': There's something I gotta say to you! ''[Points at Vince]'' You know, when I decided to come back to the World Wrestling Federation, you promised me that I would get an opportunity to fight for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. You put me in the ring with [[w:Stone Cold Steve Austin|Stone Cold Steve Austin]] and said that if I could beat Stone Cold Steve Austin, that I would be the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. Now don't you think it's just a little bit convenient that for some stupid reason, [[w:Shawn Michaels|Shawn Michaels]] finds himself out at ringside announcing in my World Championship match with [[w:Sid Eudy|Sycho Sid]]? I don't think it was any kind of a coincidence either. So Shawn Michaels jumps up and sticks his nose in my business and costs me the World Wrestling Federation Championship Belt with blatant interference. The Boy Toy costs me the championship and they go, &quot;Oh that's okay. Don't worry about it, cause now you can go in the [[w:Royal Rumble (1997)|Royal Rumble]] and you only have to fight 29 other guys and then you'll get your opportunity for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt.&quot; So I went in the ring, and it's very, very clear to me that I won the Royal Rumble and I should be getting a World Wrestling Federation Championship bout. Where is my opportunity? You know, the way I look at things right now, I've been screwed by Shawn Michaels the Boy Toy, I've been screwed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, I've been screwed by the World Wrestling Federation, and I've been screwed by you! (Vince) I don't like to make idle threats, but the way I see things, it doesn't look like I'm going to get my opportunity for a shot at the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. So I quit! (slams the microphone down.)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin''': You gonna get me a piece of equipment that works, son, or do I have to whip your ass? Bret Hart, you can sit there and bellyache and complain with the best of them, son. Ever since you came back, you ain't done nothing but cry! You sit there and talk about how Vince screwed you, how everybody screwed you, how I screwed you. The bottom line is, son, when the going gets tough, the Harts get going back home! Knock it off! Go on back to Canada, son, because the only person you can possibly beat is your wrinkled up old man in his little old basement. You talk about being jerked around, I've been jerked around for seven years, and then I get here. I'm supposed to face Sycho Sid tonight and some guy, a 350-pound buffoon that calls himself Gorilla Monsoon the commissioner says, &quot;No, no. Sycho Sid is at home with a concussion.&quot; Sycho Sid may be at home with a concussion and an ice pack on his head, but he's also got a yellow stripe running right down the middle of his back. As far as Gorilla Monsoon goes, I got a big bunch of bananas and I can tell you where to stick each and every one of them. You want me to face [[w:The Undertaker|The Undertaker]], you can bring his dead ass out here, because I threw him over the top rope last night, and I'll do the exact same thing right now, so bring him out, I got something for him!

=== March 3 ===
:''[Vince is showing footage of the Final Four where Stone Cold Steve Austin inadvertently helped Bret Hart win the WWF Title, and later where he hit Bret with a steel chair, causing Sycho Sid to win the title the next night.]''
:'''Vince''': Your response? Do you show any remorse, whatsoever, for your actions?
:'''Steve Austin''': The only remorse I got is that I didn't hit him harder with that steel chair! Bret Hart runs around talkin' about everybody's screwin' him. Hell, for the past 7 years, I've been screwed, and it's the same old song! How come when Shawn Michaels hurts his knee, you make a video out of him? How come when Shawn Michaels gets sick, you tell the world that he's got the FLU?! Well, when I went to the Final Four, I was sick as a dog, and I had a blown out knee! Let me ask you a question: How many one-legged people can go 25 minutes with 3 of the top wrestlers in the world? NONE! Stone Cold Steve Austin went out there, and did just that! And I ain't making fun of no one-legged people, I'm sittin' here just tryin' to make a point. As far as I'm concerned, I truly am the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and can't nobody tell me different! Not you, or ANYBODY! As far as the Submission Match, it's a buncha bull! Bret Hart, he's supposed to be the big technician, the Sharpshooter. BIG DEAL! I don't know a whole lotta couple of submission moves, but it doesn't matter, because I'll beat the hell outta Bret Hart! And as far as Ken Shamrock says on TV the other day; &quot;Oh, I don't know. Bret Hart's the better technician, but Stone Cold ain't got no quit in him.&quot; Well, you hit the nail right on the head, son, because I ain't got no quit in me at all! And you can bet your bottom dollar that Stone Cold ain't gonna look at the referee and say &quot;I quit! I submit! I've had too much!&quot; There ain't NOBODY... there ain't NOBODY in wrestling who can make me QUIT! And that's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold SAYS SO!
:'''Vince''': Why of all this... why are you so bitter? Why this bitterness?!
:'''Steve Austin''': You treat me like a dog, and you expect me to SMILE? You remind me of a jackass!

=== March 17 ===
:''[Bret Hart has just lost a WWF title cage match with Sycho Sid]''
:'''Jim Ross''': We're back here ladies and gentlemen, a few more moments and Vince McMahon is going talk to a very, obviously a very consumate Bret Hart.
:'''Vince''': Bret Hart, you've got to be terribly frustrated. Extremely frustrated over what has just happened.
:''[Bret shoves Vince down and takes the mike]''
:'''Lawler:''' WHOA!!
:'''Bret Hart:''' FRUSTRATED ISN'T THE GODDAMN WORD FOR IT!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!
:'''Jim Ross:''' We apologize, ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Bret Hart:''' You screwed me, everybody's screwed me and nobody does a goddamn thing about it! Nobody in the building cares, nobody in the dressing room cares, so much goddamn injustice around here, I've had it up to here!!
:'''Jim Ross:''' We apologize ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Bret Hart:''' Everybody knows it! I know it! Everybody knows it! I should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion!
:'''Lawler:''' Get him out of the ring!
:'''Bret Hart:''' Everybody just keeps turning a blind eye! You keep turning a blind eye to it! I got that [[w:Gorilla Monsoon|Gorilla Monsoon]], he turns a blind eye to it! Everybody in that goddamn dressing room knows that I am the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be!
:'''Lawler:''' Cut him off!
:'''Bret Hart:''' And if you don't like it, tough shit!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin:''' Conspiracy my ass Bret! All you want to do anytime you go in the ring is cry like a baby! I tried to go out there and help you and you threw it all away because you're a loser! It could have been you and me for the championship at [[w:WrestleMania 13|WrestleMania]], but you blew the whole damn thing because you're a loser! At WrestleMania, you will quit and one of these days when it's you and me for the title, you're looking at the next champ. AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
:'''Bret Hart:''' (As Austin begins saying &quot;At WrestleMania,...&quot;) You know why they call you Stone Cold? Because your stones are so cold, you won't come out here and step in the ring with me myself! You always got to jump me from behind! You haven't got the guts to come out here! Come on!! Everybody knows whether it's Sycho Sid, ''[Sid comes out]'' If you think for one second that that belt belongs to you, you are wrong! It is my belt. You know it, I know it and everybody in this building knows it!
:'''Sid:''' I don't know shit, crybaby!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[as Bret Hart brawls with Steve Austin and Undertaker brawls with Sid]''
:'''Vince''': Bret Hart has snapped! Bret Hart thought for sure he would be the WWF champion and there's no conspiracy! Bret Hart, ladies and gentlemen is talking about a conspiracy. There is no conspiracy at all, only in his head and it's sad that a man as great as Bret Hart has resorted to this! This is not what we've talked about! This is not the legacy of Bret Hart! Not this! Not this bawling! Not this whining! Not this crying!
:''[officials pull Bret away from Austin]''
:'''Lawler''': You're right! He's snapped McMahon! He's lost it! Get him out of here, drag him out!
:''[Bret nails Pat Patterson and goes back to Austin]''
:'''Vince''': OH HE JUST HIT, HE JUST HIT HALL OF FAMER PAT PATTERSON!! THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SON OF A...!!

=== March 24 ===

:'''Vince''': Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now, yes, from the ultimate fighting war... ''world'', rather, yes, it is war, for sure. There is Ken Shamrock, and Mr. Shamrock, in your officiating last night, firstly, why did you stop the match?
:'''Ken Shamrock''': Well, you know, I was in the match, and Steve Austin was in a great deal of pain even throughout the whole match. I asked him several times; he did not respond. As far as I could see, he was unconscious, I had to stop the match in order to protect his body because he was in severe, severe shape. So that is why I stopped the fight.
:'''Vince''': Alright, but you did not hear him say the words, &quot;I quit,&quot; did you? You did not hear him say the words, &quot;I quit,&quot; did you?
:'''Ken''': No, the words weren't said, &quot;I quit,&quot; but when a man goes unconscious and he cannot protect himself properly, that is why I was hired to do this match: was to make sure one man won. There was no cheating around, there was no holds here. And therefore, when Steve Austin passed out, he could not protect himself. So therefore, that is why I stopped the fight.
:'''Vince''': Alright, but then, as he could not protect himself, &quot;The Hitman&quot; Bret Hart, after the match was officially over, went back and attacked Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Ken''': Yes, he did. And, you know, throughout the match there, there was a lot of dishing out pain going on in there, but one of the things that I guess I had to step in on was because after Stone Cold was on the mat, he was passed out and really could not protect himself, the reason why I stopped the match, Bret Hart decided to take it upon himself to go in there and put more pain upon him. And from what I could see, he was trying to end Stone Cold Steve Austin's career. I had to step in and stop that.
:'''Vince''': Indeed. Well, the Hitman wanted no part of you, no doubt about that. Let me ask you, as far as your opinion of Stone Cold Steve Austin. What is your opinion of him as far as last night' match is concerned?
:'''Ken''': Well, you know, particularly... me and Steve Austin have had some harsh words in the past. I particularly really don't care for him much. But there's one thing you cannot take from this man. Let me tell you, he went through a lot of pain, and there was no quit in that man. He kept fighting and fighting. You got to give him that, he is one tough character. I've seen a lot of tough people going through my life, going through the no holds barred competitions, and this guy is by far one of the toughest guys that I've seen.
:'''Vince''': All right, thank you very much for joining us.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bret Hart''': First of all, I wanna apologize. I'd like to apologize to all my fans over in Germany. I'd like to apologize to all my fans over in Great Britain. Actually, I like to apologize to all my fans all over Europe. All over Japan and the far east. I like to apologize to my fans in the middle east. All the way as far down as South Africa. And I especially like to apologize for all my great fans in Canada.

:And to you, my great fans across the United States of America...to you, I apologize for nothing! You know, it seems real strange to me that no matter how much I try that when I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin to a bloody pulp, I thought to myself, no matter how much I win, when I walked back to the dressing room. The way you American fans treat me across the United States of America, I feel like I lost. I mean I took a gutless creep like Stone Cold Steve Austin and beat him to a bloody pulp, even though he knows, and you all know that he lost, you cheer him on the way back to the dressing room like he won!

:You know it didn't just start right here. Let's go back to WrestleMania last year when I was the World Wrestling Federation Champion. When that belt was around my waist and where it belonged. You cheered on a pretty boy like Shawn Michaels and you allowed him to screw me out of the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. I found myself sitting at home watching the WWF on TV in Canada and saying to myself, &quot;The World Wrestling Federation needs a hero, they need a role model. They need someone to look up to.&quot; Not somebody who has earrings all over himself and tattoos. Not somebody who poses for girly magazines. By the way, I don't think it was a girly magazine, I think it was a gay magazine! So I felt this calling to come back to set the record straight and clean up the World Wrestling Federation. So I came back in the Survivor Series and I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin there and I think I garnered a little bit of respect. Then I found myself stepping in the ring with Sycho Sid and your hero, your pride and joy Shawn Michaels costs me the World Wrestling Federation championship belt. Nobody cared! Nobody did anything about it! You people didn't do anything about it.

:They say &quot;Oh, don't worry about that. You can get in line with 29 other guys and you can go in the Royal Rumble.&quot; So being the man that I am, I got no problem fighting 29 other guys. So I went in the Royal Rumble, and I won. I was the last legal man standing in the Royal Rumble. But again, everyone just turns their back on it. You somehow justify in your minds that Stone Cold Steve Austin won. You know, a better man would've quit. Maybe I should have quit and gone home.
:'''Vince''': You did Bret, that's what you threatened.
:'''Bret Hart''': I got Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon on their hands and knees begging me to come back. &quot;Don't quit! Think of your fans.&quot; Well, I thought of my fans and I came back. And they come up with this idea for the Final Four. The winner of the Final Four will get a World Wrestling Federation title fight at WrestleMania 13. That sounds good to me. So I accept, I came back. Then all of a sudden, your champion, your hero, Shawn Michaels comes up with this life ending, career ending knee injury and he forfeits the title so he can go home and find his smile. But that's okay, you people think that that's just fine. I see people in the audience crying for that. You talk about me crying. So I go into the Final Four with the outcome now being that whoever wins the Final Four will now be the World Wrestling Federation Champion. And who won the Final Four? I did. Right in the middle of the ring, I defeated three other guys in one night. I defeated Vader, I defeated Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I defeated the Undertaker, and I became the World Wrestling Federation Champion for a fourth time. Then they come up to me and go &quot;Well wait a minute! You don't get to rest even though you fought three other guys, even though you're beat up and sore. You got to go in the ring and fight 6'9&quot; Sycho Sid, and defend the title.&quot; Do you think I ran and hid? Do you think and found me forfeiting any titles? NO! I put the title on the line and I took Sycho Sid and I tied him in a big knot right in the middle of the ring. There he was in the Sharpshooter after being booed all the way through the match by my American wrestling fans, you somehow justify, only in America you can do this, Stone Cold Steve Austin climbs into the ring and whacks me in the back of the head with a chair. Somehow, you justify that that's okay, that's acceptable in America.

:So I ask, or as you see it, I cried to Gorilla Monsoon. I asked and I begged and I pleaded and I said &quot;Give me Stone Cold Steve Austin. Give me a match with this guy who seems to be making my life a miserable hell.&quot; So I got Stone Cold Steve Austin and they agree to a match, a submission match. And then they go, &quot;Wait, we have some even better news for you. We will give you Sycho Sid in a 15-foot high steel cage match and no one will be able to interfere in that and you will have your shot at the World Wrestling Federation championship belt because we respect you.&quot; Well in that match, outside interference played a big factor again and somehow for some reason, The Undertaker is out there and he finds himself slamming my head in the door and he costs me the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt for the 5th time.

:So I got one thing on my mind. After being screwed over by everybody in the World Wrestling Federation, after being abandoned by all you good fans right here in the United States of America, I decide that I'm going to go into this submission match with Stone Cold Steve Austin and give him every bit of what he deserves, just a good old fashioned ass whipping. And so when I do it, when I actually take that lousy stinking hyena Stone Cold Steve Austin and beat him to a bloody pulp, you somehow find it in your hearts to abandon me and cheer for him.

:You know, I've proven myself so many times in the World Wrestling Federation and I've tried to be everything that you wanted me to be that it seems to me that you don't understand. You don't understand what it means to have dignity, to have poise, to bring prestige to the World Wrestling Federation, to be a man that brings a little class. Because you rather cheer for heroes like Charles Manson and O.J Simpson. Nobody glorifies criminal conduct like the Americans do and all the countries around the world, they still respect what's right and what's wrong. Respect. Now that we made everything real clear with ourselves tonight, it's obvious to me that all you wrestling fans coast to coast, you don't respect me. Well the fact is, I don't respect you. You don't deserve it. So from here on in, the American wrestling fans coast to coast can KISS MY ASS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Shawn Michaels comes out to the ring]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Yo, Hitman! Let's get one thing perfectly straight. You can come out here and say whatever you want about me. Everyone does. And you don't have to explain to me or the World Wrestling Federation that you would never give up the WWF title because no one knows better than me or the WWF that it takes a hand written note from the lord almighty to take that belt from you. But Bret, what you don't understand is just because I come out here and choose to live my life openly and freely instead of putting a facade like you does not make a you a better man Bret. I am well aware of my faults. I can admit them up and down the line. And as far as Steve Austin is concerned, Bret, I was there last night. He didn't give up, alright? Now I'm no fan of Steve Austin but he passed out and even you have to admit somewhere in there, there's gotta be some of the old Hit Man left, even you have to admit that he is one tough S.O.B. Now Bret, I have tried and tried and tried to take the high road and I am in no shape to wrestle and I know, you're tougher than me blahblahblah, whole thing. I admit that, that's fine. I don't have to be number one Bret. I don't obsess like you do. I do it because I like it. You do this because in your mind, marked man, you really think that all of this is yours! Now what you need to understand is that every time they reach into their pocket to watch you, me or anybody else is that they have the right to cheer or boo anybody that they want! Now, hey, you don't have to tell me &quot;They're cheering me now.&quot; But they've booed me before. But you didn't see me getting all bent out of shape about it. You wanna know why Bret? It's because in this country, we something that's called the first amendment. And that amendment allows us to live our lives as we sit fit as long as it's causing harm to no one. If that guy there wants to stick a belly button piercing through his navel he can do it whether you like it or not! If that girl over there chooses to go out with someone you don't you approve of, &quot;Tough kitty&quot; said the kittie if she's going to do it! Now I'm going to get on my high and mighty roller coaster Bret. But you my friend, you gotta look at this, I'm in no shape to go. But if you want to go? What the hell? Let's go now.
:'''Vince''': Don't tell me. Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in no condition to wrestle here.
:'''Lawler''': Then what's he doing out there.
:'''Vince''': Because he's got more guts than brains.
:'''Lawler''': Right.
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Do you know something? We've got a saying in the United States in American and it's called &quot;America, Love it or Leave it!&quot;
:'''Bret Hart''': Shawn Michaels, Boy Toy, I think you should go back to the dressing room, get the hell out of my face.
:'''Shawn Michaels''': You know me, Bret, I'm not real good with authority. By the way, how did you know I was in that girly magazine? You couldn't help yourself, could you? You had to flip through the pages just a little bit!
:''[Bret attacks Shawn in the injured knee and puts him in the figure four around the ring post.]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Bret comes back out to do commentary during the Rocky Maivia/Leif Cassidy match-up]''
:'''Vince''': What has made you snap, Bret Hart?
:'''Bret Hart''': I haven't snapped, I just opened my eyes.
:'''Vince''': What?!
:'''Bret Hart''': I call it opening my eyes! Why don't you open yours? Everybody in this building, they sit here and they cheer on Stone Cold Steve Austin, all these guys that set no example for anybody anywhere. And they have the nerve to actually cheer these guys on? Undertaker, there's a great role model. You know, I've had it up to here; I think people should open their eyes. I was the guy going to the ring every night wearing a white hat, trying to be a good person. Trying to be someone they could look up to.
:'''Vince''': ''[As Shawn Michaels is shown being carried to an ambulance.]'' There's a good person. Look what you just did, Shawn Michaels.
:'''Bret Hart''': Hey, I didn't ask him to come to the ring! I was trying to make a point and that is the point right there. Look at the screen, that is the point. I've had it up to here! Understand? Very simple.
:'''Vince''': I think we do. But again, I don't understand the logic. I don't understand why you're throwing away your legacy! You're throwing it away! You're flushing your legacy down the toilet, Bret!
:'''Bret Hart''': I didn't flush any legacy down any toilet. My toilet was flushed by all these people right here in this building. Not just in this building, but every building that I've wrestled in in the last three or four months. The only place I went to where I got a little respect was in Germany or England. Everywhere else-- or Canada. But in the United States of America, little kids holding up signs going &quot;You suck!&quot; You know what? I don't suck, they do!
:'''Vince''': It's almost as if you're at war with yourself.
:'''Bret Hart''': No, I'm not at war. Hey I feel like I got a million pounds off my chest. You want to see bad? I'll show you bad. Bad is something that you have never seen the likes of. You want to talk about wickedly bad? I'll show you wickedly bad! ''[runs into the ring and attacks Rocky Maivia]''

===June 30===
:'''Paul Bearer''': &quot;Well, we're gonna have to go back a few years, Mr. McMahon. About 20 years to be exact. We're talking about a little funeral home, sitting up on a hill – beautiful old trees all around – and a wonderful, wonderful family-owned funeral home. The family lived upstairs. The father was a mortician who ran the funeral home. The mother was the secretary, the receptionist. But there were two little kids there. One kid was a little red headed punk. And then there was a second kid – a sweet little kid named Kane. Now I was the apprentice at the funeral home. I worked under the red headed punk's father, who by now you properly know as The Undertaker. The Undertaker's father was a mortician of excellence. He told me everything I know. He told me the correct way to prepare a body for burial, how to do the make-up, how to deal with the families. He told me from A to Z. But while I was working on the funeral home, I've seen a lot of things going on, that shouldn't been happening.

:This little red-headed punk, there was nothing funny about him. He had a look in his eye – the look of the devil! It was the devil's see if you know what I mean. What was so sad about the whole situation, is that poor little Kane, the little brother followed The Undertaker around everywhere he went. The Undertaker was little Kane's hero. Anything The Undertaker did was fine. It went on for about two years, my apprenticeship. I was at the college that night taking courses at Mortuary Science at the same time. The Undertaker and Kane would run around the funeral home like wild men. They had three reigning properties. They'd sneak out behind the garage. I'd see what they were doing. Their mom and daddy wouldn't see what they were doing but I saw what they were doing. I saw them, taking chemicals out of the embalming room in that funeral home. I saw them sneaking behind the garage, smoking cigarettes - when they were little kids.

:But you know, one particular afternoon I was leaving to go to school. As I backed my car out of the funeral home, I looked behind and who do I see? That red head devil-seen Undertaker with his little brother. Something wasn't funny – it ain't. Something didn't seem right. But I went ahead and to the drive way, went to school. I came back from school about ten o'clock that night. And what do I see? I see fire trucks. I see ambulance. I see steam and smoke and I see that funeral home in ashes. Someone burnt down the funeral home. Inside that funeral home was this lovely family that took care of me. I looked over to the bushes. Who did I see in the bushes but The Undertaker? Undertaker, you burnt the funeral home to the ground. And along with the funeral home, you killed your parents. You killed your family, Undertaker! I know it. I've had to stick that on my inside all my life – 20 years. You've killed them. Undertaker, you are a MURDERER! YOU ARE A MURDERER! YOU'RE A GOD-DAMN MURDERER!

=== July 7 ===
:'''Bret Hart''': A few weeks ago, I was told ‘America: love it or leave it.’ Well, I’ve traveled all around the world, I’ve been all over the United States of America, and the one thing that I’ve in particular looked forward to is loving leaving it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Stone Cold Steve Austin defeats Hunter Hearst Helmsley thanks to interference from Mankind, whom Helmsley hit in the head with a steel chair. Austin grabs a microphone]''
:'''Jim Ross''': This could be damning.
:'''Vince McMahon''': I hope he doesn’t say anything to the Canadians.
:'''Steve Austin''': Get your ass up, you long-haired freak!
:'''McMahon''': He’s talking - he’s talking to, to Mankind.
:'''Austin''': There ain’t no way one chair can keep your ass down, get in the ring! ''[Mankind crawls into the ring]'' You come out here every week, saying “Pick me, Steve! Pick me, Steve!”. I’ll lay it on the line for you, you piece of trash: I don’t like you one bit! But I’ll damn sure go to war with you, if that’s what you want. All you gotta do is shake my hand, and we’re a tag team.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Whoa!
:'''Ross''': Well, I guess the man with the personality of a rattlesnake is softening a little bit.
:'''Lawler''': Finally Mankind gets what he wants!
:'''Ross''': All Mankind ever wanted was to be accepted.
:''[Mankind outstretches his arms]''
:'''Lawler''': He don’t want a handshake, he wants a hug!
:''[Mankind and Austin share a big hug]''
:'''McMahon''': I can’t believe it. Another moment in the WWF. Mankind, now a partner - ''[suddenly Austin gives Mankind the Stone Cold Stunner]'' - oh!
:'''Ross''': No! No! Not the Stunner! Damn him!
:'''Austin''': DTA, you stupid piece of trash! Don’t ever trust nobody! You ain’t gonna be my partner, never, ‘cause you’re a long-haired freak, and you suck! ''[drops the microphone and raises his arms for the crowd]''
:'''McMahon''': My! Can’t believe that!
:''[Austin leaves the ring and walks up the ramp to the cheers of the crowd]''
:'''Ross''': Well, if you’d like to have a pet rattlesnake, I’ll give you Austin’s phone number!
:'''McMahon''': Thank you, no. This capacity crowd-
:'''Mankind''' ''[grabbing the microphone]'': Austin! Austin!! I was just looking for a little bit of respect. I was looking for a friend, and you’ve ruined that all!!
:'''Austin''' ''[from the top of the entrance ramp, grinning]'': Damn right!
:'''Mankind''': So it’s become very apparent, that drastic measures will be taken! Because, next week, well, I’m going to have to do something I never thought I’d do again. ''[Austin leaves]'' And it will become very obvious that the World Wrestling Federation will never be the same! Steve Austin, ''you'' will never be the same! And without a doubt next week, Mankind...will NEVER BE THE SAME!!! ''[whimpers]''

=== August 4 ===

:'''Vince''': Well, I guess maybe that pretty much tells you something - a mixed reaction by this capacity crowd. And there is no doubt whether you did your job or you didn't do your job, but if it haven't had been for you, the Undertaker might still be the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
:'''Shawn''': So let me get this straight. You, the Undertaker, Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart and — the best that I can tell — all of the fans of the World Wrestling Federation are dumpin' this in my lap!
:'''Vince''': I don't know if that's necessarily fair...
:'''Shawn''': Shut up! Because you know something? It's just like you, it's just like Bret Hart and whether anybody in this arena likes it or not, it's just like all the fans of the World Wrestling Federation to not take responsibility for themselves and pass the buck on to the Heartbreak Kid because everybody knows I don't give a damn what anybody thinks of me! Shut up!
:I went out there last night, for the first time in my career put on a referee's shirt and did one hell of a job. I called it down the middle. Right or wrong?
:'''Vince''': Yes, you did.
:'''Shawn''': Exactly.
:'''Vince''': May I ask you a pertinent question, please?
:'''Shawn''': Yeah, cough it up!
:'''Vince''': Alright, it's on a lot of people's minds. It's something like this — it's controversial as it always is: Are you in any way in cahoots with Bret Hart? As preposterous as that may sound, a lot of people are wondering that.
:'''Shawn''': You know, I've always known you are a nimrod, but now you have convinced me that you are the dumbest sonofabitch I've ever met in my life.
:'''Vince''': Well, first of all, I don't appreciate that. Let's get that straight, okay?
:'''Shawn''': Ooohh, shoot me while I shudder in my loafers, McMahon!
:'''Vince''': Well you just might be shuddering come September 7, when you step into this ring with the Undertaker. That's when you gonna be shuddering! You can take this here.
:'''Shawn''': Get your ass out of here! ''[Vince leaves]'' You can move it or lose it, McMahon! Let me tell everybody what the story is. I am not in any way, shape or form in cahoots with Bret Hart. It is no secret that Bret Hart doesn't like me, Bret Hart doesn't respect me, but one thing is for damn sure, Bret Hart needs me! Because I am the only man in the World Wrestling Federation that has beat his ass! And that is the truth!
:And Undertaker... Undertaker, you and I, for as long as we've been in the World Wrestling Federation have never crossed paths. EXCEPT FOR NOW!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' Michaels sucks!
:'''Shawn''': Oh, I'm gonna tell you people something. Undertaker, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels lays down for absolutely no one! I don't do it for Bret Hart, I don't do it for you, I don't do it for the fans of the World Wrestling Federation, I don't do it for anybody. Undertaker, the next time you see Shawn Michaels, his Super...
:'''Crowd''': You suck!
:'''Shawn''': Ten years! Ten years I've given you, and this is the respect that you give me. Each and everyone of you can go to hell! Undertaker, the next time you'll see me, my Superkick is gonna be one foot down your throat!

=== August 18 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Steve, I want to thank you for allowing us to come to your hotel room here, I know you've got a very busy and a very crucial 24-hour period here in Philadelphia, seeing a specialist tomorrow about your neck, but thanks for giving us a little of your time.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well you're welcome for the time, but if you're here to ask a bunch of questions, you might as well start asking, otherwise I'll throw your ass out the window. And to come to the hotel room, this ain't a hotel room that I would stay at! You know, when I got hurt at SummerSlam, when I got dumped on my head, no one called me and said, &quot;Hey, Steve, you okay?&quot; No one ever sent a card, nothin' like that. Not that I would expect it, but at least I would have, you know, maybe a call just to see what the hell's goin' on with the hottest damn wrestler in the world, but I got nothin'! So the WWF sees fit to put me in a room like this, with all this fruit and trash like this, you want a pear? ''[Starts tossing fruit at Jim Ross]'' You want an apple? You want a banana  or somethin'? Here, make yourself at home, man! ''[Austin tosses the entire fruit basket at Ross]'' But if you got questions to ask, you go ahead and ask 'em, 'cause I'm gettin' a little tired of you!
:'''Jim Ross''': I'd like you to address three things, if you don't mind.
:'''Steve Austin''': Sure.
:'''Jim Ross''': One is SummerSlam, your paralysis after being driven in the mat from the Tombstone by Owen Hart; the second thing is what the doctors have told you; and thirdly, and lastly, what you perceive your future to be here in the WWF.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well, let's start with SummerSlam. The bottom line is I'm the Intercontinental Champion. Right?
:'''Jim Ross''': Right.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well, that's that. But aside from that, at the end of the match, close to the end of the match when Owen Hart dumped me on my head - you figure I weight 245, 250, bam, you get planted in the mat, shit happens! And that's, for basically about 50 seconds there, I couldn't move my arms or my legs, and I didn't know if I ever would move again! It felt pretty damn scary, so, um, you know, I'm through with that, looking past that, I've watched that on tape probably 30 or 40 times and it still sucks every time I see it! But I'm over it, and I'm movin' around, and I'm happy about that! But Owen Hart has got hell to pay! You get dumped on your head, you get in the position that I was put in, it ain't worth a damn. And I, I'm just, uh, a little bit pissed off No, I'm not a little pissed off, I'm a whole lot pissed off, but you know what they say, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. But Owen Hart's got hell to pay when I come back, and as you say, you've got another question, what was the other question?
:'''Jim Ross''': The doctors, you've seen several doctors...
:'''Steve Austin''': I've seen a couple of doctors, and one guy said, uh, uh, &quot;Maybe you should do something else.&quot; Well, Steve Austin doesn't do anything else, what I do is wrestle, and I'm the best wrestler in the world, and can't nobody tell me different! So I'm supposed to see the top guy, uh, the top spine guy in the country tomorrow here in Philadelphia, and see what he has to say, and it doesn't matter really what he says, the end result, the decision's mine! He can sit there and say, &quot;Don't do this, try not to do this,&quot; whatever, but the bottom line is I'm the one that makes the decision, so I'll sit there, rethink things, and go from there. But regardless of what he says, Owen Hart's got hell to pay! You know, when you do something to...when you do what he did to me, you know, if it's my last step in life, you can damn well bet he's gonna get the shit kicked out of him one way or the other, and that's it. You know, I don't know when, where or how, or what, but it's gonna happen.
:As far as my future - don't sit there and try to butt in because I'm talkin', right? Okay, as far as my future goes, hell, like I said, I'll listen to what the doctor says, but I'm gonna do what I want. The future for Steve Austin, as far as I'm concerned, is to put on his black trunks and black boots and show up. Im'ma take a few days off, I'll probably take a few weeks off, because, you know, when you're sittin' there at the house, you watch a film of, uh, you gettin' paralyzed for another 50 seconds, you watch that 30 or 40 times, you know, it kinda, you get a little depressed! So I drank a few cases of beer, I'll tell you exactly what I did. I just ride around in my Ford, drink a few beers and sit there and think about it. But, uh, I'm gonna go see this doctor and see what he has to say, and, but as far as I'm concerned, the only way I can see my future is to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, continue on right through the top in the WWF, just like I've done since I've been here! All the damn bureaucratic red tape, all the bullshit I've been through, it's taken me eight years to get where I'm at right now! If you think for one split second that a piledriver's gonna stop me, it ain't gonna happen. Did it slow me down? Damn right, but it ain't gonna stop me. Ground Zero, Sub-Zero, whatever the hell you wanna call it, Louisville, I'll be there! Whether it's to hand the belt over, if I decide maybe it's time to hang it up, I'll do that! I don't think that's gonna happen. I think when, uh, Ground Zero rolls around, you'll see Stone Cold - don't wipe your nose, it pisses me off - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin - and don't smile - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin in a black pair of trunks and a black pair of boots, and I'll be out there whippin' somebody's ass! I don't know what kind of match it is, it's some kind of little, uh, four tag teams of some kind of shit like that, is that right?
:'''Jim Ross''': That's right.
:'''Steve Austin''': Okay, well, I'll be there! And... what gets me is, is that Steve Austin's in a new level now, because, you know, if,if I was pissed off before, I'm a lot more pissed off now, and that makes me even more dangerous, not a liability, and that's the bottom line! You got anything else you wanna say?
:'''Jim Ross''': No sir.
:'''Steve Austin''': Then get the hell out.

=== September 22 ===

:''[Before the police arrest Austin, Vince comes into the ring]''
:'''Vince''': What’s the matter with you?! Get ahold of yourself! 
:'''Lawler''': Arrest him!
:'''Vince''': ''[To the police]'' Just give me a minute. Just give me a minute! ''[To Austin]'' What is the matter with you? You had to forfeit the Intercontinental title, the Tag Team title, of course everybody can understand why you’re upset. I can understand you being upset not being able to compete, I can understand that. But don’t break the law!
:'''Lawler''': He already did...look at this!
:'''Jim Ross''': Stone Cold's not gonna win this fight with New York City's finest.
:'''Vince''': Don't you understand? Don’t you understand why you’re not allowed to compete? Can’t you get that through your head? Don’t you know why? Don’t you know that you’re not physically able to compete? Your doctors say you’re not ready. If you compete, you could injure yourself for good! You could wind up paralyzed! And the WWF is not gonna stand by and let you do that to yourself. These people don’t want you to wind up in a wheelchair! They wanna see you compete. Everybody wants to see you compete. But in due time, Steve. In due time. ''[Austin looks at his watch]''
:'''Lawler''': Listen to McMahon, get the violins.
:'''Vince''': Get ahold of yourself.
:'''Jim Ross''': He's telling the truth. Makes all the sense in the world.
:'''Lawler''': ''[indicating the cops]'' He'd better be talking to those guys over there. I say put him in the slammer!
:'''Vince''': Listen, don’t you know people care? In the World Wrestling Federation, we care. They care, they care about you, that’s all it is. And you just gotta go with it. In other words, you simply, you gotta work within the system. That’s all you gotta do, is just work within the system.
:'''Steve Austin''': You know as well as I do that this is what I do for a livin’. This is all that I do, and can’t nobody tell I ain’t the best in the damn world. Don’t even say nothin’. Don’t say nothin’. You sit here and tell me to work within the system. You ain’t the one sittin’ on your ass in the house like I am. But if that’s what it takes to make you or the World Wrestling Federation happy, hell, I feel like Cool Hand Luke. I’ll work within your stupid little system.
:'''Vince''': That's all that these people a—
:'''Steve Austin''': I appreciate the fact that you and the World Wrestling Federation ''care''. And I also appreciate the fact...that, hell, ''you can kiss my ass''!
:''[Austin kicks McMahon in the gut and Stuns him]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh, God! Oh my God!
:'''Lawler''': Put him in jail! Put him in jail right now!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Triple H is waiting for his match with Dude Love, but the Dude appears on the TitanTron]''
:'''Dude Love''': Oh, ho ho ho ho! Owww, have mercy! Hunter and especially your finer Chyna, I know what you must be thinking. 'Dude, what are you doing back here, when you should be out there kicking some heavy duty booty all over The Garden?' Hunter, my man, I do believe it's time we had a little rap, ho-ho. Because you see, Falls Count Anywhere— Well, that not exactly my bag, baby. The pinfalls in the hot dog stands, the pinfalls in the street, the chairs, the tables, it's not exactly a Love thing. But I know somebody, daddy, who's bag it indeed is. He's my man, he's my main man, you might even say, well daddy, he's a ''kind'' man. A kooky type of cat, let's bring him out right now. 
:''[Mankind's music plays as Mankind walks into the picture]''   
:'''Dude Love''': Ho ho, Mankind, my main mandible— up high big man, down low— Owww, you're too slow, ho ho. Mankind, good to have you at the Love Shack. 
:'''Mankind''': Hi, Dude. Thanks for having me here. 
:'''Dude Love''': The pleasure's all mine. 
:'''Mankind''': You really are eye candy for the chicks, Dude. 
:'''Dude Love''': That much I know, Daddy, but you gotta tell me about this wacky match: Falls Count Anywhere. 
:'''Mankind''': Dude, as much as I've dreamed about destroying Hunter Hearst Helmsley... 
:'''Dude Love''': I know you have. 
:'''Mankind''': ...as many horrible things as I'd like to do to him...
:'''Dude Love''': I know you can. 
:'''Mankind''': I know someone who dreams about it even more.
:'''Dude Love''': Who is it, Manny?
:'''Mankind''': Someone who's willing to do even worse things than I have.
:'''Dude Love''': Oh no, are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 
:'''Mankind''': I think I ''am'' thinking what you think I think you're thinking. 
:'''Dude Love''': Can you bring him out, Manny?
:'''Mankind''': Here he comes.
:'''Dude Love''': Where is he? 
:'''Mankind''': '''''CACTUS JACK... IS BACK!'''''
:''[Cactus Jack walks into the picture carrying a trash can, HHH loses it]''  
:'''Dude Love''': Somebody spank me, I thought he was dead! 
:'''Mankind''': He's alive. HE'S ALIVE!
:'''Cactus Jack''': Don't blink. It may be the darkest day of your life, because it's Madison Square Garden, and Mrs. Foley's little boy...is finally home. BANG BANG! 
:'''Dude Love''': ''[overlappping]'' Bye bye, Hunter, have fun! Owww, have mercy!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What in the world!?
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[overlapping]'' Oh my God. Drastic times call for drastic measures!
:''[A garbage bin is thrown from off-curtain, followed by a large broom before Cactus Jack enters with a trash can]''
:'''Jim Ross''': And for a man, that has wrestled on nails, and barbed wire and set himself on fire, this will be a day at Central Park!

=== October 6 ===
:''[Paul Bearer is at the ring with Kane, who just trashed the Hardy Boyz]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Now that I have your undivided attention— Yes, laugh at the fat man. Go ahead! Here's your chance. Go ahead and laugh at me. Stand up, call me names, do what you wanna do. Here's your chance. The one you should be laughing at is your so-called phenom. The one you should be laughing at is your hero, The Undertaker. The proof is here. I tried to go back to The Undertaker, he wouldn't take me back. I had to do what I had to do. He slapped me around, he called me a liar. He burned me! Burned!

:Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you, The Undertaker's little brother: Kane! Look close, Undertaker. The whole world saw your face last night, when you stood for the first time in twenty years face-to-face with your own brother. We can all tell by the look in your eyes that you knew it was him. Yes, oh yes, he's alive. Look at his eye, Undertaker. He's missing an eye. And it's your fault! The 20 years of suffering, the 20 years of hiding-out is now over. And we have you to thank, Undertaker.

:Undertaker, this is your Stop sign on your highway to eternity. Starting with these boys tonight, we are gonna walk through the World Wrestling Federation, take each one, each wrestler, one by one and destroy them. Until we reach you! You, Undertaker. That is why Kane is here. And we have you to thank. Every time you look around, you're going to see your brother behind you. Every time you close your eyes to go to sleep, you're going to remember that terrible night. The fire! Oh yes, the fire. Undertaker, welcome to your worst nightmare.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shawn''': ''[waiting for footage from Badd Blood]'' Now I know we don't have any brain surgeons in that truck, but this is a television studio per se. Do you think, Vince McMahon, you could get one of those idiots in your truck to send out my performance at Badd Blood? ''[Footage appears on TitanTron...]'' All right, here we go... ''[...not of Badd Blood, but of the [[w:The Kliq#The MSG &quot;Curtain Call&quot;|MSG &quot;Curtain Call.&quot;]]]'' Whoa. Wait a minute!
:'''[[w:Triple H|Hunter Hearst-Helmsley]]''': ''[both feigning shock]'' Oh my God, what is that?
:'''Shawn''': That's not Badd Blood, that's...
:'''Hunter''': That's Madison Square Garden!
:'''Shawn''': That's May 19th, Madison Square Garden!
:'''Hunter''': That's you, Shawn!
:'''Shawn''': And that's...that's...that's [[w:Scott Hall|Razor]]!
:'''Hunter''': And [[w:Kevin Nash|Big Daddy Cool Diesel]]!
:'''Shawn''': But who's that...that's you, Triple H! Wait a minute! Hey, you were a bad guy, I was a good guy!
:'''Vince''': What is this?
:'''Hunter''': You were a good guy, I was a bad guy!
:'''Shawn''': What were you doing in there? That's...wait a minute! Wait a minute...that was supposed to be Vince McMahon's biggest day—the first time Madison Square Garden had been sold...aw, it's off the screen. Oh, Vin-man, what's the matter? That subject's still a little too sensitive for you, big man. ''[Both get out of ring and approach Vince at announcers' desk]'' Vinnie Mac, what's the matter? Come on, what's the matter? Is your dad rolling over in his grave? The family traditions in the McMahon...has it come to an end because me and my buddies made an ass out of ya? Come on, you were an ass long before I made one out of ya!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Cornette''': This is Jim Cornette, and the views that I'm about to express are not necessarily those of anybody else but me. But they oughta be. And as a matter of fact, they probably are.
:You know, a lot of things in the wrestling world make me cranky these days, especially the way some talent is treated and some talent is looked at by not only the promoters, but the wrestling fans as well. For example, a man like Arn Anderson who just had to retire from this sport, after giving it his entire life, because of an injury that he suffered; a guy like &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, who in my opinion, is one of the greatest talents in the history of this business; guys like Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, whatever you want to call him. Great talents in the WWF or WCW.
:But who gets a lot of the attention, from the wrestling fans especially? Guys like the NWO, the New World Order. You know, all the fans think these guys are so cool and so ''sweeeeet'', and so funny. Well, as far as I'm concerned, the NWO is like a bunch of guys meeting out in the backyard in a clubhouse in a tree. They're guys who, all they have to do... They got the easiest job in the world... All they have to do is go out there and be themselves—childish, obnoxious, adolescent guys with a case of severe arrested emotional development, and a fixation on trying to act macho.
:You got a guy like Kevin Nash, 40 years old, trying to act like a teenager. Far as I'm concerned, the biggest no-talent in the business. He's got six moves, no mobility, and enough timing to cover up for some of it. But what he does is he goes around and he manipulates. Kevin Nash had a multi-million dollar promotional company, the WWF, push him to the moon to make him a star, and then what does he do? He leaves—after he gives his word he's staying, so by the way, he's a liar, too—he leaves and he goes to WCW for a big contract. Why? More on that later.
:You got a guy like Scott Hall, who's a good wrestler, but &quot;good&quot; is about it. He's the best of the bunch. But he had the same million dollar promotional company make him a star, after he'd been in the business 10 years without putting three asses in a seat. And what does he do? He goes to WCW for a big contract. Why? More on that later.
:And then you got a guy... Syxx, 1-2-3 Kid, his name's Sean Waltman. Whatever you want to call him. As far as I'm concerned, the only reason that he's employed is because the other guys think that he's funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself. He has the distinction, in case you haven't noticed, of being the only guy since this &quot;wrestling war&quot; got started, that was released from a valid contract from one company to go to the other side, which shows you how valuable he is.
:You know why they're all employed? Why they're all in the spot they are today? Because of Eric Bischoff. The boss of WCW, not the NWO. Look at the credits on their PPV if you can get one for free! The idiot's name is on it! He's the boss of WCW, he works for Ted Turner, and he throws a billionaire's money around, just like water, so he can have guys that he likes to hang out with.
:Because, even more than being a mark—yeah, for his own face and his own voice—Eric Bischoff is a guy who's a big fan of hanging around studly guys with long hair and beards, that smoke cigars, and ride Harleys. So that some of that can rub off on his little pansy-ass frame. So he takes that billionaire's money, and he throws that around like water to buy guys that he can hang around, to prove that his johnson is bigger than everybody else's. And that's the sole reason the NWO guys are employed.
:I think, me personally, that it's about time that the wrestling fans and the promoters, all of them in this business, start recognizing guys like &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, like Arn Anderson, like Cactus Jack. Guys who bust their ass, who work hard, and have ability and have talent to get where they are, instead of a bunch of guys that get to their spot by hanging around with the boss and sucking up. I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== October 13 ===

:'''Bret''': ''[to Shawn and Hunter on the TitanTron]'' Why don't you two degenerates come down here right now and step in the ring with me right now? Either one of you, I don't care! Either one of you, right now!
:'''Shawn''': Is he challenging me?
:'''Hunter''': Is he challenging us?
:'''Shawn''': Now regularly, regularly I would take him up on his challenge. But you know why I'm not gonna? You know why I'm not gonna? I'll tell you why. Because the last time I took him up on a challenge was [[w:WrestleMania XII|WrestleMania]], and I beat his ass for that stupid piece of tin he's got on his shoulder; and at [[w:Survivor Series (1997)|Survivor Series]], I'm gonna take that stupid piece of tin you got on your shoulder once again. I've beaten you, I've beaten your brother, I've beat both your brother-in-laws, and I'll beat up your whole family if you get in my face one more time.
:'''Hunter''': And as far as I'm concerned, Bret Hart, you want a piece of me, huh?! ''[Shawn holds him back]'' You want a piece of me?! Come on! I'll take you on, Hitman! I'll give you the worst beating of your life! Hey, wait a second. I did that last week. I did that last week, Hitman! So never mind, I don't need to do it twice! I already did it!
:'''Shawn''': I tell you, I took so many shots to my head, I almost forgot how bad we beat him up last week. Hitman, I got news for you. Sometime during this show, we are gonna cross paths. And you talk about us being degenerates. You know what, I'm tired of Generation X getting a bad rap.
:'''Hunter''': Do you think you're a degenerate?
:'''Shawn''': Well, do you think ''you're'' a degenerate?
:'''Hunter''': Well, I mean...
:'''Shawn''': I mean, I'm positive I'm one.
:'''Hunter''': I guess I'd have to be one then.
:'''Shawn''': Well you know what? Generation X always gets a bad rap, everybody calls us degenerates. Degeneration X, is that us? Degeneration X—Triple H, HBK, Chyna, Ravishing Rick. We are Degeneration X—you make the rules, and we...will...break 'em!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jim Cornette''': I'm Jim Cornette, and the views I'm about to express are my own, but as you'll see, they may be yours, too.
:There's a man named Phil Mushnick who writes columns for the New York Post and for TV Guide. You probably never heard of Mr. Mushnick, but you should because he's had some pretty nasty things to say about you. You see, Phil Mushnick hates pro wrestling and he's not content just to change the channel. He doesn't want you be able to watch it, either. Not the WWF, WCW, ECW, ''nothing''.
:And for the past several years, Mushnick has led a one-man campaign to have the wrestling industry abolished. Recently, when Ted Turner donated one billion dollars to charity, Mr. Mushnick said &quot;the world would be better served if he closed up WCW.&quot; Phil Mushnick is the man who called for and spearheaded the media and publicity barrage over the federal indictment of Vince McMahon and the WWF on steroid charges. And even though McMahon and the WWF were proven totally innocent in a federal courtroom, Mushnick ignores that fact to this very day and writes his columns as if it were a fact that they were proven guilty just so he can continue his one-man crusade. He even wrote a column one time about the Madison Square Garden Network firing Marv Albert, saying that the Garden should cancel wrestling matches, too.
:But Phil Mushnick not only hates wrestling, he hates wrestling fans. Here's a few things he's had to say about you, and I quote:
:&quot;If not for America's lunatic fringe and the disaffected, WCW would be out of business. If you can tell me that you would bring an important child in your life to a pro wrestling match, I have no gripe with you because you clearly don't know right from wrong. And the overwhelming majority of the wrestling fans who contact me simply prove my point by flooding my mailbox with profanities, obscenities, and other acts that show them to be a disenfranchised sub-culture.&quot;
:Well, Mr. Mushnick, I'm a wrestling fan and a lot of the people who read the New York Post and TV Guide are wrestling fans, too. And we don't enjoy being insulted by publications we pay money to read. We don't appreciate being told we don't know how to parent our children! We don't want a pompous, self-righteous man with a grudge sitting on top of Mount Olympus looking down his nose at us campaigning to take away the constitutional right that every American is guaranteed, to freedom of speech, freedom of choice, and freedom to enjoy whatever entertainment we choose! Those are ''facts'', Mr. Mushnick, not rumors, not suppositions, but ''facts''. You oughta try to deal in them sometime. And I think it's time that the millions of people you belittle as subhuman every chance you get tell the New York Post and TV Guide what ''they'' think of ya.
:But if this has been going on so long, why am I mad right now? Because recently, Phil Mushnick used Brian Pillman's death to call for another outcry against wrestling, and I quote once again:
:&quot;The problem is the mainstream media don't look hard enough at pro wrestling. Imagine if middle-aged pro baseball players dropped dead on a regular basis, this would be page one stuff, and a federal inquiry would be launched.&quot;
:''[At this point, Cornette is seething with anger.]''
:Well, Brian Pillman was a friend of mine. From the time he was born with throat cancer, he had the courage to undergo 36 different throat operations. He had the courage to withstand the punishment of pro football and ten years as a pro wrestler. He had the courage to come back from a car wreck that shattered his ankle, and from a lot of other personal tragedies. And then one night, he went to sleep in a hotel room and he died. And for you, Phil Mushnick, to use his death as an excuse for another call to action in your one-man vendetta against pro wrestling is more ''vulgar'' and more ''obscene'' than anything that you've ever falsely accused the wrestling industry of being guilty of! So on behalf of the wrestling fans, the wrestling industry, the friends and family of Brian Pillman, and anyone in this country that denies any one man the right to force his morals and his beliefs on all of us and to take away our constitutional rights, on behalf of those people, I say ''go to hell, Phil Mushnick''! And try to reform things down there because we're doing just fine without you!
:I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== October 27 ===

:'''Jim Cornette''': I'm Jim Cornette. I'm just wondering if there's any people that are sick and tired as I am to be the icon of wrestling. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper claim to be the icon, Shawn Michaels is the icon that can still go, Bret Hart would claim to be the icon if he wasn't too busy crying about being screwed, and Randy Savage is still &quot;Thinkin', Thinkin'!&quot; Well, Shawn Michaels is still the single most talented athlete inside the ring, but outside he's an adolescent obnoxious jerk who takes the tights and goes home if he doesn't get his way. Bret Hart is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, but if he'd have been screwed as many times as he claims, he'd have struck oil by now. And Randy Savage is a legend, but let's face it, how many records did Frank Sinatra sell last year? But the pinnacle of this icon garbage came at last night's cage match between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper to determine—in their minds only—who the real icon is. WCW had the gall to say that this is the greatest cage match in history when it was the greatest in three weeks since Hell in a Cell. But here, you've got a 46-year-old, bald-headed movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build, taking on a guy with an artificial hip that hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years. It's a tribute to the massive egotism in my mind of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policies that this match took place, much less being in the main event when the card was probably the best that WCW was capable of having. By the ten minute mark, they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would've been funny if it wasn't sad. Well, I'm sick and damn tired of hearing guys claim to be the icon, especially when it used to come from guys who usually didn't know when to quit. Roddy Piper was my idol when I was a teenager, but that was 20 years ago. Hulk Hogan, during his best years, was 50% media recreation, and those days are long gone. This match was a slap in the face to every wrestler that takes pride in his profession, and in my mind, no one man is bigger in this sport. But if there is an icon, it would be a man who has great ability inside the ring, and professionalism and maturity outside of it. Let's leave all the petty backstabbing &quot;I make more money than you,&quot; BS with the hat check girl and let's concentrate on talent and attitude. The Undertaker, Ric Flair and Steve Austin have never claimed to be icons, which means that they are big candidates to be just that. And on a personal note to Hulk Hogan, you are a household word, but so is garbage and it stinks when it gets old too. I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== November 17 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Let's cut right to the chase here. Seven days ago at the Survivor Series, did you, or did you not, [[w:Montreal Screwjob|screw Bret Hart]]?
:'''Vince''': Some would say I screwed Bret Hart; Bret Hart would definitely tell you I screwed him. I look at it from a different standpoint. I look at it from the standpoint of the referee did not screw Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels certainly did not screw Bret Hart, nor did Vince McMahon screw Bret Hart. I truly believe that Bret Hart screwed Bret Hart, and he can look in the mirror and know that.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'm sure in some parts of the country right now, there's a collective groan that you're not accepting responsibility, that you orchestrated the situation, and the fact that there are people not gonna understand what you mean by, &quot;Bret Hart screwed Bret Hart,&quot; so what do you mean by that?
:'''Vince''': Well, I will certainly take responsibility for any decision I've ever made; I've never had a problem doing that. Not that all of my decisions are accurate—they're not—but when I make a bad decision, I'm not above saying I'm sorry and trying to do the best about it that I can. Hopefully, the batting average is pretty good—I make more good decisions than I do bad decisions. And as far as screwing Bret Hart is concerned, there's a time-honored tradition in the wrestling business that when someone is leaving, that they show the right amount of respect to the WWF superstars, in this case, who helped make you that superstar. You show the proper respect to the organization that helped you become who you are today. It's a time-honored tradition, and Bret Hart didn't wanna honor that tradition, and that's something I never, ever would've expected from Bret because he is known as somewhat of a traditionalist in this business. It would've never crossed my mind that Bret would not have wanted to show the right amount of respect to the superstar who helped make him and the organization who helped make him what he is today. Nonetheless, that was Bret's decision. Bret screwed Bret.
:'''Jim Ross''': Some folks along the Internet know that, in 1996, Bret signed a 20-year contract with the WWF. Then I'm sure there are some at home now, some folks are saying, &quot;well, how could Bret Hart be...he's got 18 years left on the contract. How can he leave?&quot; Did Bret Hart ask you to leave the WWF, or did you ask him to leave the WWF?
:'''Vince''': This was a joint decision and it vacillated somewhat as well. It was a joint decision from both Bret and me. And ultimately what happened was the two of us got together and orchestrated the opportunity for Ted Turner's wrestling organization to quote, &quot;steal,&quot; Bret. I felt that, for business reasons, that Bret Hart and the salary we were paying him was not justified. And Bret felt that for creative reasons and the fact that he had become sort of second banana in his own mind to Shawn Michaels who had, quote, &quot;stolen his spot.&quot; So for financial reasons on my part, and creative reasons on Bret Hart's part, the two of us got together and decided, &quot;okay, let's do the very best we can for you, Bret.&quot; So the two of us orchestrated Bret Hart receiving a three-year deal, in which he is paid $3 million a year, which I believe is the richest deal in all of professional wrestling, and that's for working 125 days a year. So I felt from a personal standpoint that if Bret wasn't a great investment any longer for the WWF, although I really didn't want him to go, but nonetheless, that the least I could do for Bret is to help him help himself. And I told Bret, &quot;Bret, if you in fact get this deal from Turner, I am going to be the first person personally to congratulate you.&quot; And I was. From a business standpoint, I didn't really want to lose Bret. He wasn't paying off from a financial standpoint, but nonetheless, I really didn't want to lose Bret. 
:'''Jim Ross''': Certainly, the bitterness of the loss at the Survivor Series could never be more prevalent. He stands in the ring and spits in your face. Shortly thereafter, he is destroying WWF television equipment. Were you prepared for what happened after the match?
:'''Vince''': I was disappointed in Bret when he hit me. Very disappointed. Um, I sustained a concussion, as a result of it, with vision problems to this day. I'll get over it. I didn't think it was the right thing to do. Bret seems to be crowing about that, that I've read, where, you know, he feels proud of striking me. And it wasn't a question of a confrontation because even at 52 years old, I dare say that perhaps things would have been a little different if there was a confrontation. I allowed Bret to strike me, I had hoped that he wouldn't. I had hoped that we could sit down and try and work things out as gentlemen. That's what I had really hoped for. But that's not what happened. 
:'''Jim Ross''': Have you considered pressing charges or perusing legal remedies for that situation in his locker room?
:'''Vince''': I have considered it. I think those options are still available. I'm not pursuing it at the moment. I guess it all depends on Bret as to whether or not I do.
:'''Jim Ross''': If you were only a story writer, and the Survivor Series was the final chapter in the story of Bret Hart, the WWF years, how would have preferred to write the final chapter?
:'''Vince''': As a storyteller, I would have hoped that Bret's story would be a dramatic one. I would hope that Bret's story would be one that would give him dignity, that would give him the poise to state that, &quot;I was, maybe, the greatest WWF Superstar ever,&quot; in terms of his departure. And one way of being able to give back to the company, being able to give back to those individuals, those superstars, who helped you achieve the level of success that you have, when you know that you are leaving in a time-honored tradition, might have been, for argument's sake, that after the most grueling match that Bret ever had in his life, that Bret was pinned. But in that small moment of defeat, Bret would have stood straight up and shown the whole world what a true champion, both as a human being and a wrestling persona, he really is. And if I had been Bret, if I were writing the story, I can see Bret, after a 1-2-3, simply saying, &quot;Okay,&quot; to his opponent, &quot;you got the best of me. I want to congratulate you. I want to stick my hand out and congratulate you. And furthermore, I want everyone in the whole locker room to watch my match, so that I can show, for those who follow in my footsteps, the way in a time-honored tradition, this is to be done. To show every individual, every secretary, everyone in Titan Sports, the WWF, who counts on me to do the right thing, that I was there, that I was a Superstar, maybe the greatest of ever. And I went out the way a true champion would go out.&quot; 
:'''Jim Ross''': Are you able to step back and objectively look at this thing and evaluate your friend, your perhaps former friend Bret Hart, the human being, and have sympathy for this man?
:'''Vince''': Sympathy? I have no sympathy for Bret whatsoever. None. I have no sympathy for someone who is supposed to be a wrestling traditionalist, not doing the right thing for the business that made him, not doing the right thing for the fans and the performers and the organization who helped make him what he is today. Bret made a very, very selfish decision. Bret's gonna have to live with that for the rest of his life. Bret screwed Bret. I have no sympathy whatsoever for Bret.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': This is a crazy question. Would you welcome Bret Hart back? If he said, &quot;you know Vince, I've changed my mind. Can I come back?&quot; Would you allow him to return to the WWF? I mean, he spit in your face, notwithstanding destroying television monitors &amp; equipment, certainly notwithstanding the fact that he punched you. Would you allow him to ever come back to the WWF if that was an option?
:'''Vince''': This is a strange business, and yes, I would. We would have to have a real frank understanding. I would want to hear Bret say, &quot;Vince, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be selfish, I just kind of lost it there for a while.&quot; And I have no problem saying, &quot;Bret, jeez, I'm sorry that I had to do what I had to do as well.&quot; Would I welcome him back? I also would tell Bret no more free shots. I would want that strictly from a man's standpoint, I'd want him to know that. And in the future if we're going to have problems along those lines, in the locker room or anywhere else, okay, we're going to have them, but no more free shots. Yeah. If Bret could tear up his contract with the other guys right now and return, I'd welcome Bret back under those conditions.
:'''Jim Ross''': Was his motivation...do you believe his motivations then, primarily? He said he didn't leave here for the money. 
:'''Vince''': There were signs in the arena following Survivor Series, &quot;Bret sold out.&quot; Bret seems to be sensitive to that subject, that he doesn't want to be known as someone who sold out. I'm proud of the fact that I helped Bret sell out. And that's what Bret did, he sold out. And it's not a big deal because I helped him do it. So, do I think that Bret left for the money? I think that when your making $3 million a year, and you're working 125 days of that year, I think Bret sold out, and I don't blame him for selling out. I helped him sell out. Matter of fact, I would suggest there could be a long line outside the next locker room with wrestlers begging me, &quot;Vince, help me sell out.&quot; So, do I think he sold out? Yeah, and I think that every time Bret says, &quot;No, I didn't do it for the money,&quot; I think that Bret loses credibility every time he says that.
:'''Jim Ross''': Did this whole ugly ordeal with Bret Hart affect you more professionally, the businessman side of Vince McMahon, or the personal side of Vince McMahon? 
:'''Vince''': From the business side, the WWF will go on beyond Bret Hart. From the personal side, it definitely has affected me. I think that Bret and I...you can't end a 14-year relationship like was ended without having feelings. I regret that I felt that I was forced into making the decision that I made. I regret that Bret didn't do the right thing for the business and for himself, because it wouldn't have cost him one dollar less with his deal with Turner. I regret that his fans, if there is such a thing separate from WWF fans, are in any way hurt by any of this. I regret that his family is enduring...having to endure this tirade that Bret seems to be on. I regret that a member of my family, my son, had to witness some of this, especially in the locker room. I regret all of that, from a personal standpoint, yet steadfast remain that I made a tough decision, but it was the right decision for the WWF fans and the WWF superstars that remain here loyal to us. 
:'''Jim Ross''': If you had the opportunity to speak with Bret, and now's not a bad opportunity, because you know he watching. Everybody involved in this situation is watching this right now. What would you say to him now?
:'''Vince''': Probably what I said to him in the locker room, and that is that he made a mistake, that I believe he'll regret from a professional standpoint, didn't have to be made that way. I felt I had to do what I had to do for my company, and our fans, and our superstars that remain here. And I'm unwavering in that point of view, and perhaps Bret is unwavering in his point of view. I don't know that we'll ever get together, I hope we will one day. It's too bad that a 14-year relationship was destroyed because one member of that relationship forgot that we're in the sports-entertainment business. Forgot where he came from.
:'''Jim Ross''': When will you be over this?
:'''Vince''': I'm over it now. At the same time, Bret has been such a part of the WWF. Bret will always...a part of Bret will always be here in the World Wrestling Federation, and I'm going to remember the good times. I'm going to remember all the things that we did with Bret, which he performed to his greatest degree possible, and told those wonderful stories. I'm going to remember Bret as the Excellence of Execution. It's just too damn bad that in the end, Bret really wasn't &quot;the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.&quot; And he had that opportunity to live up to that in his final match in the WWF, and he failed. 

=== December 15 ===
:'''Jim Ross''' ''[describing Steve Austin’s trip after leaving the arena]'': This could be a [[w:P. J. Carlesimo|P.J. Carlesimo]] situation.
:'''Jim Cornette''': Who?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': Owen Hart, I know you are here tonight. You've been spotted. Owen Hart, I know you can hear my voice, wherever you may be in this arena. And I must inform you that you've been endangering indeed the safety certainly of our ringside fans with your antics as of late.
:'''Jim Cornette''': McMahon's turning into [[w:In Living Color|Fire Marshall Bill]] with all this &quot;fan safety&quot; business.
:'''Vince''': You've been crawling over ringside fans coming into the ring interfering in matches with Shawn Michaels. And make no mistake: I don't give a damn about Shawn Michaels – it's just that you're endangering the safety of ringside fans by coming in and coming out. That will not be tolerated. I know you can hear me. I like to remind you, Owen: You are still under contract to the World Wrestling Federation. And as such, I'm ordering you to appear in this ring, right now. ''[Owen Hart walks to the ring from somewhere in the audience to &quot;Owen&quot; chants]'' What's this all about, and who do you think you are?
:'''Owen Hart''': ''[takes off shades]'' Who do I think I am? ''[pokes Vince]'' Who the HELL do you think you are?! You think I owe you a goddamn apology?! I don't owe you a goddamn thing! I'm sick and tired of trying to please everybody else around here, and the bullshit stops right here!
:'''Cornette''': Well, ''that's'' showing McMahon plenty of respect!
:'''Jim Ross''': This could get very, very ugly in a hurry.
:'''Owen''': Now my brother, Bret, and Neidhart, and Bulldog, they did what they had to do, and now it's time for ''me'' to do what I have to do, and that is remain right here in the World Wrestling Federation! ''[crowd cheers]'' Now, I spent nine years breaking my back day-after-day to earn a reputation in this company, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is going to run me out of this company, and you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about!
:'''Vince''': Oh yeah, I have a real good idea who you're talking about. You're talking about self-professed &quot;Showstopper,&quot; right? You're talking about the Icon, you're talking about the WWF Champion, Shawn Michaels. And isn't that really what it's all about, Owen? Huh? Isn't that what this whole thing's all about? You attempting to gain the only title that's eluded you in your career here? It's all about the WWF Title, isn't it?
:'''Owen''': How stupid are you? Is that what you think this is about?! Do you think I give a damn about a worthless title: a piece of leather with tin on it?! This is real life, Vince. This is real life - MY life! MY reputation! MY respect! MY dignity! And McMahon, don't you get me wrong. I'm not ASKING you, I am TELLING you exactly what I am going to do! And that is... and that is make Shawn Michaels' life a living HELL! 
:'''Ross''': A lot of that going around these days.
:'''Cornette''': I--I know what you mean!
:'''Vince''' ''[exasperated]'': Let me tell you--
:'''Owen''': Listen to me for a second. You can call me the &quot;Sole Survivor,&quot; you can call me the &quot;Black Sheep,&quot; I really don't give a shit!
:'''Ross''': Uh-oh. Not good.
:'''Owen''': Shawn Michaels, this is not a game, this is real life, and you started it... and now, it's time for this &quot;little nugget&quot; to end it!
:'''Ross''': Shawn Michaels is a marked man, and so is Helmsley!
:'''Vince''': All right, now let me tell you what ''I'm'' going to do, Mr. Hart. I believe we have some uniformed security I'd like to ask to come to the ring. ''[crowd boos]'' And the reason I'd like to ask for uniformed security, Mr. Hart, is to make sure that, again, we do not endanger the safety of any of our ringside fans, because next week... next week, right here, you're gonna come in to the ring down the ramp like every other WWF superstar, and you're gonna compete in this ring next week just like every other WWF superstar. You're not gonna run over any more ringside fans – all right?!
:'''Cornette''' ''[as security surrounds Owen]'': That's every cop in New Hampshire!
:'''Ross''' ''[as Owen approaches Vince]'': Look out here. I don't like the look in Owen Hart's eyes. He's been under a tremendous amount of stress.
:'''Cornette''': Looks like a hungry dog eyeing a steak!
:'''Ross''': Owen could snap at any--
:''[Owen grabs Vince and stares him down]''
:'''Cornette''': Hey!
:'''Ross''': Oh, uh-oh!
:'''Cornette''' ''[as Owen pushes Vince away and Vince motions for security to get Owen out]'': Just to prove he can do it! Whatever Shawn Michaels has to say, I'll tell you what: in my opinion, Owen Hart's got some big nuggets! ''[Owen gets taken out of the arena through the crowd as they chant his name]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': It has been said that anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation, but now more than ever, truer words have never been spoken. This is a conscious effort on our part to &quot;Open the Creative Envelope&quot;, so to speak, in order to entertain you in a more contemporary manner. Even though we call ourselves &quot;sports entertainment&quot; because of the athleticism involved, the key word in that phrase is &quot;entertainment&quot;. The WWF extends far beyond the strict confines of sports presentation into the wide open environment of broad-based entertainment. We borrow from such program niches like soap operas like ''[[w:Days of our Lives|The Days of our Lives]]'', or music videos such as those on [[w:MTV|MTV]], daytime talk-shows like ''[[w:The Jerry Springer Show|Jerry Springer]]'' and others, cartoons like ''[[w:King of the Hill|The King of the Hill]]'' on [[w:Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox]], sitcoms like ''[[w:Seinfeld|Seinfeld]]'', and other widely accepted forms of television entertainment. We in the WWF think that you, the audience, are quite frankly tired of having your intelligence insulted. We also think that you're tired of the same old simplistic theory of &quot;good guys vs. bad guys&quot;. Surely the era of &quot;[[w:Hulk Hogan|The superhero who urge you to say your prayers and take your vitamins]]&quot; is definitely passe. Therefore, we've embarked upon a far more innovative and contemporary creative campaign that is far more invigorating and extemporaneous than ever before. However, due to the live nature of ''Raw'' and ''The War Zone'', we encourage some degree of parental discretion as it relates to the younger audience allowed to stay up late. Other WWF programs on USA such as Saturday Morning ''[[w:WWF LiveWire|LiveWire]]'' and Sunday Morning ''[[w:WWF Superstars of Wrestling|Superstars]]'', where there is a 40% increase in the younger audience, obviously however need no such discretion. We are responsible television producers who work hard to bring you this outrageous, wacky, wonderful world known as the WWF. Through some 50 years, the World Wrestling Federation has been an entertainment mainstay here in North America and all over the world. One of the reasons for that longevity is as the times have changed, so have we. I am happy to say that this new vibrant, creative direction has resulted in a huge increase in television viewership, for which we thank [[w:USA Network|USA Network]] and [[w:The Sports Network|TSN]] for allowing us to have the creative freedom, but most especially we would like to thank you for watching. Raw and the War Zone are definitely the cure for the common show.

=== December 22 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Remember, the European Title on the line. Shawn Michaels putting the European Title on the line here, as he will the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble in that much-anticipated casket match with the Undertaker. ''[Shawn and Hunter lock up and Hunter immediately shoves Shawn down]'' Collar-and-elbow tie-up.
:''[Hunter over-dramatically runs the ropes over a supine Shawn for 14 seconds]''
:'''Jim Cornette''': And reluctantly on his part, on both of them. He didn't want to put the title up either.
:'''Ross''': Wait a minute. Why is Michaels just lying there?
:'''Cornette''': Well, why doesn't Helmsley slow down and stop? What is it?
:'''Ross''': ''[catching on]'' It's a mockery. ''[Hunter jumps and softly splashes Shawn, hooking his leg]'' We thought that... oh, here it is.
:''[Hebner counts to three. Hunter celebrates while Shawn &quot;cries.&quot;]''
:'''Cornette''': ''[over Tony Chimel's announcement]'' It was a ruse! 
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner and the new World Wrestling Federation European Champion: &quot;Triple H&quot; Hunter Hearst-Helmsley!
:'''Cornette''': ''[cont'd]'' A ploy, a plot, a plan, a charade, a conspiracy, a sham! We've been conned, hoodwinked, bamboozled, flim-flammed, had the wool pulled over our eyes even!
:'''Ross''': Slaughter apparently has been watching this on the monitor, we've just been informed, and is on his way to the ring. Helmsley with the European Title. We thought it was gonna be Slaughter's revenge.
:'''Cornette''': Look at these two jackasses! Michael [''sic''] cries every time he comes to this town!

=== December 29 ===

:'''Jim Cornette''': Well, the WWF has asked me to do a commentary on the state of wrestling in 1998; I guess they figured, &quot;Cornette's always good for a couple of laughs.&quot; Well, I'm not really gonna be too funny tonight. Because you see, I think the state of wrestling in 1998 ''stinks''! I think WCW stinks, I think the nWo stinks, I think ECW is embarrassing, and I think the WWF stinks! And I'll tell you why. You don't have to go back any further than last week on Raw, you got a guy coming out dressed like a Christmas tree, you got a woman dressed like a reindeer, you got two adolescent mulletheads showing their butt cheeks on national TV, and having a phony match for a championship! I think it stinks! I think it's disgusting! I think nobody has any respect for wrestling anymore! Where is &quot;wrestling&quot;? Not &quot;sports entertainment&quot;, but ''wrestling''! You know, just a couple of years ago, I left my home in Tennessee and I moved to Connecticut, which is like trading a Hawaiian vacation for a bed in a cancer ward, to come to work for the WWF full-time, the biggest wrestling promotion in the history of the planet! And I moved to Connecticut with snow on the ground seven months out of the year, real estate prices that would make Donald Trump's hair stand on end, the rudest bunch of people I've ever seen where English is the second language, and traffic jams at four o'clock in the morning! But I think that's OK, because I'm with the biggest wrestling promotion of all time, the WWF! But over the last couple of years, I don't see any wrestling! They got some great wrestlers around here, but they don't have any time to wrestle, because of all the folderol and the nonsense going on! You see, what the problem is, is the people running the two big promotions! [[w:Eric Bischoff|One guy]] is a game show host wannabe from Minneapolis with phony teeth, phony hair, and a phony tan! And running the WWF, you got a whole office building full of Yankees from New York City that wouldn't know a wrestling match if it bit them! So they sit around all day, listening to people on the Internet; and the people on the Internet wouldn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch! I don't particularly care what some Yankee from New York City wants to see! I wanna see wrestling matches with wrestlers! I wanna see real old-fashioned wrestling! I wanna see some people who have some respect for the traditions of the wrestling industry, have some respect for the sport of wrestling! I don't wanna see &quot;sports entertainment&quot; and flying donkeys all around! I think it's garbage, I think it's insulting, and I think it's a shame to a fine sport like this! Down south where I come from, they know wrestling, they were brought up on it, they grew up on it, and they respect it! And I think it's about time that the promoters and the wrestling industry today recognize that wrestling fans watching a wrestling programme want to see wrestlers '''''wrestle'''''! That's... That's easy! It's not too hard to understand if you just think about it. But the problem is, is that nobody has any respect for tradition. Well, I got news for you; I got respect for tradition, and I've always been associated with real good old-fashioned wrestling, a sport of wrestling, not a circus sideshow, not a cartoon show; and if nobody else is bring some wrestling around here, then maybe it's gonna be up to Jim Cornette! So that might be my New Year's resolution for 1998! I might bring some tradition, I might bring some ''real'' wrestling back and clear this whole mess out, because I think it stinks! So there's my address, there's my opinion, there's my commentary, do with it what you want, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Bah Humbug, I'm outta here!

== 1998 ==

=== January 12 ===
:''[After stunning Mankind and Goldust, Steve Austin puts on JR's headset.]''
:'''Steve Austin''': Oh hell yeah! No more Mr. Nice Guy until after this Rumble! Jim, someone told me the other day at the airport, &quot;Steve, if you think you can win the Rumble, give me a hell yeah!&quot; And I gave a &quot;OH HELLLLL YEAHHHHH!&quot;

=== January 19 ===
:'''Vince McMahon''': At this time I'd like to introduce to you a man who is simply the baddest man on the planet! Ladies and gentlemen, &quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson! ''[Tyson enters the ring with his crew]'' &quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson! Mike, it is unquestionable, an honor and a privilege to have you standing in a World Wrestling Federation ring.
:'''Mike Tyson''': Well, it is a privilege to be here, man. I don't know, I've been a fan since I'm eight, nine years old and I'm just happy to be here.
:'''Vince''': Well, tell me your old time favorites here in the WWF.
:'''Mike''': Bruno Sammartino.
:'''Vince''': Don Leo Jonathan as well?
:'''Mike''': Nikolai Volkoff, man I go way back. I'm just proud to be involved in this.
:'''Vince''': Alright, now ladies and gentlemen. The moment we have awaited, the big announcement, and the announcement is that on March 29th at WrestleMania in this very ring...&quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson will... ''[Steve Austin's music interrupts McMahon and Austin enters the ring. Several officials and execs rush in.]'' Hey! Hey! Mr. Austin, why are you here?
:'''Steve''': Because I'm sick and tired of seeing Mike Tyson, he comes in, he's shaking everybody's hands, making friends with all the WWF Superstars, and it's made me so damn sick, I've been in the back throwing up. ''[Tyson extends his hand]'' I ain't gonna shake your damn hand, because I ain't out here to make friends with you. Mike... shut up. I respect... I respect what you've done in the boxing world, but Jesus Christ, son, when you step in this ring, you're messing with Stone Cold Steve Austin and that's something you don't do. Let me make it short and sweet, what I'm telling you is I want a piece of Mike Tyson's ass. ''[To Vince]'' Shut up. Don't say one word, Vince; I'll knock your damn lights out, too. I respect what you've done, Mike, but you're out here calling yourself the baddest man on the planet. Right now, you got your little beady eyes locked on the eyes of the world's toughest son-of-a-bitch! I can beat you any day of the week, twice on Sunday. Do I think I... Do I think you can beat my ass? Hell no! Do I think I can beat your ass? Why, hell yeah! I don't know how good your hearin' is, but if you don't understand what I'm sayin', I always got a little bit of sign language, so here's to ya! ''[flips off Tyson to Vince's surprise. Tyson gestures with his hands and shoves Austin, causing a brawl between the two men. Everybody else pulls them apart and Austin is manhandled off the ring]''
:'''Vince''': Get out of here! You ruined it, you ruined it! ''[goes under second rope to get closer down to Austin] '''YOU RUINED IT, DAMMIT, YOU RUINED IT!!!''' [Austin flips him off as Shane tries to placate Vince]''
===February 2===
:''[Shawn and Triple H along with Chyna make their apology to RAW's carrier networks in a manner of an official presidential announcement]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Good evening my fellow Americans. This past week, Degeneration X was informed that TSN, STAR TV, SKY Sports, and USA Network is drawing the line on standards and practices as it relates to WWF programming and Degeneration X. In the future, we need to be careful of what we do and what we won't do. Again, DX gets in trouble every time we do something fortuitously. Therefore, the following is the standard and practices that DX promises to adhere to. ''[steps aside for Triple H]''
:'''Triple H''': From the hours of nine to ten PM, we will only use the words &quot;ass&quot;, &quot;damn&quot;, and &quot;hell&quot;. We will, however use the words &quot;shit&quot;, &quot;fuck&quot;, &quot;goddamn&quot;, &quot;Jesus Christ&quot;, &quot;bitch,&quot; &quot;faggot&quot;, or any other sexual or racial slurs. From the ten to eleven PM hour, we will only use the words &quot;ass&quot;, &quot;damn&quot;, &quot;hell&quot; and &quot;bitch.&quot; We will never, however use the words &quot;shit&quot;, &quot;fuck&quot;, &quot;goddamn&quot;, &quot;Jesus Christ&quot;, &quot;faggot&quot;, or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now as it pertains to video, we promise there will be less dick references-
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Oh shit!
:'''HHH''': ''[to Shawn with light tap on chest]'' Watch your fucking mouth!
:'''Shawn''': ''[scoffs]'' Fuck me.
:'''HHH''': Goddamn it. Fuck! Anyway, we will have less references to our enormous genitalia. ''[gives way to Shawn]''
:'''Shawn''': On a final note, you know many of you believe that currently, the favored pastime in the Oral Office is &quot;Swallow the Leader&quot;...''[delivers like Clinton's famous denial]'' I did not, I repeat, I did not sleep with that young intern. ''[normal]'' As a matter of fact, I was ''[makes DX crotchchop]'' UP ALL NIGHT!! ''[laughs along with HHH]''

===March 2===
:''[Kane has just decked out a fan and timekeeper Mark Yeaton, but Paul Bearer couldn't assure him enough that a constant tolling of bells was nothing... until they see a casket on the stage hit by a lightning bolt and the Undertaker rises out of it]''
:'''The Undertaker''': Welcome to HELL! I am the demon who will lead you into eternal damnation. Kane, you disappointed me. Is that the best effort that you can put together at the Royal Rumble? Did you think that could destroy me? Don't you know that you cannot destroy that does not wish to perish? And you, Paul, the ''audacity'' to come out here week after week and claim responsibility for my disappearance! The fact of the matter is: all those times when I return to the world of darkness it's of my own appoint. It's a time for spiritual healing. It's a time for the truth, and I know the truth. At this trip, what I was doing was soothing the souls of my parents, because I had to explain to them why I would have to do the one thing I promised never to do. Kane...
:'''Paul Bearer''': You're not The Phenom anymore! I'm standing next to the real Phenom!
:''[Kane lights up the stage but Undertaker passes right through the fireworks]''
:'''Undertaker''': I will walk straight through the FIRES OF HELL to face you, Kane! And when you look into the eyes of your older brother, you will understand why, I am the most feared entity in the World Wrestling Federation. You will understand why, I am the Reaper of Wayward Souls and you will understand why I am the Lord of Darkness. Kane, there is one thought that I want you to think about between now and WrestleMania 14 – March 29th. I want you to remember, when we were small children, and we would begin to fight, mother and father were always there to pull me off of you. Well, this time there won't be anyone to save you. May the hounds of hell eat your rotting soul and you will...Rest...In...Peace!

===March 16===
:''[legends vignette for WrestleMania XIV, featuring voiceovers of WWF legends over footage]''
:'''&quot;Classy&quot; Freddie Blassie''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Killer Kowalski''': Time has not silenced the crowd.
:'''Ernie Ladd''': I never did a moonsault.
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': or walked the top rope.
:'''Pat Patterson''': There were no pyrotechnics...
:'''Monsoon''': No fancy, flashing lights.
:'''Blassie''': We never flew through the air.
:'''Patterson''': We were men of courage...
:'''Kowalski''': Men of steel...
:'''Blassie''': They were men without fear.
:'''Ladd''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Monsoon''': But today...
:'''Blassie''': I cheer for them.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[the lights are out again as Kane and Paul Bearer are in the ring ready to pounce on Sable; Undertaker appears at the top of the TitanTron]''
:'''Undertaker''': Kane, WrestleMania 14, I will strike down upon thee with anger and furious vengeance!!! I will deliver you to the fiery pits of eternal damnation. You will know my name as the Lord of Darkness! Little brother, I felt your wrath, now you're gonna feel mine. It's too late to turn back. The only thing that you can do now is Rest...In...Peace!!! ''[summons lightning bolt that opens upright casket at the stage, revealing an effigy of Kane that suddenly burns]''

===March 23===
:''[The Undertaker visits his parents' graves]''
:'''Undertaker''': Mother and Father, I've done some things in my life which I'm not very proud and I'm sure there's been occasions where I haven't live up to your expectations of me. I do hope that now, you'd understand, that I've come to my crossroads. The Devil himself stands before me in the form of my own flesh and blood, of my own brother Kane. Mother, please forgive me for the sin which I'm about to commit, a sin so heinous, but its something that must be done. In the end, I only hope that together, as one we can rest in peace, a family once again - and as such is not the case, I alone am willing to serve my penance. I am willing to burn in my own damnation. I'm willing to look my destiny in the eye and go where the Reaper leads me. Please understand, he's given me no other choice. I have to fight. Just know that I love you.

===March 30===
:''[HHH appears in the ring with Chyna after Wrestlemania XIV]''
:'''Triple H''': You know, a lot can happen in twenty-four hours... let's start with Mike Tyson. You know, I must have asked a thousand times, &quot;Is he locked in? Is he with us? Is he a part of us? Are you SURE? Is it sewn up?&quot; Heh - what I heard was &quot;Don't worry, kid - I got it covered. Don't sweat it. You worry too much - it's sewn up. Let me make the decisions.&quot; Well, you dropped the ball. But don't worry, HBK, 'cause Triple H picked it up, and now the ball is in MY court! I'll take care of the worries - I'll take care of the problems - and I'll make the decisions. This is the genesis of D-Generation X. Tonight, live in front of the world, I form the DX Army - an army to take care of business that should have been taken care of right from the start. And when you start an army, when you set out to do what no one else can do, the first thing you do is you look to your blood - you look to your buddies - you look to your friends. You look to the Kliq! ''[points to the stage and DX music plays... as Sean &quot;123 Kid&quot; Waltman appears and heads down to the ring to greet Triple H]'' You know, when you've been an indentured servant for two years, you run up a lot of feelings - talk to 'em, Kid.
:'''Sean &quot;123 Kid&quot; Waltman''': ALBANY NEW YORK - RAISE SOME HELL MAKE A LITTLE NOISE! First things first - I've got a little something I've got to get off my chest right now. I heard Hulk Hogan come out on television sayin' I couldn't cut the mustard. Well, Hulk Hogan, you suck, pal! So I don't think you have any room to talk about anybody cutting any kind of mustard. And Hulk, I got some... I got some more advice for ya. You'd better not stop short, or Eric Bischoff will go so far up your ass, he'll know what you had for breakfast!
:And now on to important matters at hand. I'm sittin' at home with my mind on my money and my money on my mind - and I get a call from one of my best friends o' my entire life, Triple H, and he says, &quot;DX needs your help.&quot; Well dammit, Triple H, any time you ever need anything from me, pal, you got it. And I got something else to say - Kevin Nash and Scott Hall would be standing right here with us if they weren't bein' held hostage by World Championship Wrestling and that's a fact Eric Bischoff, so put that in your pipe and smoke it! So the way I see it right now, this is a new beginning for D-Generation X, and we're here to rip ass on the World Wrestling Federation... AND IT STARTS TONIGHT!!!!
:'''Triple H''': Oh yeah, by the way, I got two words for ya...
:'''Kid''': SUCK IT!
:'''Triple H''': Yeah!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer gloats over Kane mauling Undertaker the night before]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Undertaker! Behold, your brother. Undertaker...did you actually believe last night, after the 1, 2, 3 that it was all over? Did you actually think so!? You are looking at your flesh and blood - the only man to ever kick out of your famous Tombstone. Not once - but twice! And he would have done it a third time! Don't you know, Undertaker - you have had to change. After all this, I know you've had to change, deep down inside, that cold, cold heart that your body harbors!

:You have faced your flesh and blood, one on one! He beat you all over that ring last night - the whole world's seen it! You cowered in the corner, Undertaker, as your brother put his fist against your skull. After I returned to the hotel last evening, I put myself in bed, I shut my eyes. I was proud, but I was awoken at about 2am with a dream! Yes, Kane, I had a dream! In that dream, I saw a wrestling ring - in that dream, I saw the ring surrounded by fire... in that ring, I saw Kane, standing all alone. Undertaker, I challenge YOU to step into my dream - step into the ring - step into the fire and face your brother one more time! But the dream is not finished yet... in order to win this match, Undertaker, either you or your brother will have to '''CATCH FIRE!''' The loser must catch fire - an Inferno! Unforgiven! In! Your! House!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Austin gets his phone call after being arrested earlier]''
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': ''[patched to JR in the arena]'' Jesus Christ, this is Stone Cold Steve Austin. I get one phone call when you get locked up in jail and I'm sure Vince McMahon thought I was gonna call a lawyer? ehhehehh!!! That ain't gonna happen! I want you to tell Vince McMahon firsthand, I think he's a sorry sorry son of a bitch and the last time I checked, the last time I checked when you give someone the Stone Cold Stunner, it ain't punishable by the death penalty, so that means, Vince McMahon's ass belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin, and next week on RAW IS WAR, he's gonna find out just how pissed off Stone Cold Steve Austin is and I can guarantee you one thing, it ain't gonna be a very fun night for Vince McMahon next Monday night and if that don't work, I'll pay his ass a house call just like I've done in the past. Vince McMahon will find out, Austin 3:16 say I just whipped your ass and that's what's gonna happen!

===April 6===
:''[Cactus Jack appears]''
:'''Cactus Jack''': I have always taken a lot of chances in the ring and some very bad things have happened to me over the years, but I've always had the comfort of knowing that when I looked at my career, my dreams, the things I accomplished, the things I'd set my heart on... that it was always worth the pain. So people ask, &quot;Cactus, so how's your neck?&quot;, I say, that I'll be damned, if I'm gonna let a group of SCUM like DX put Cactus Jack away.

:No, I guess, you see, that... Terry Funk's not here and I haven't talked to Terry, but I've left a message on his answering machine and I'm not saying this to sound tough, but Cactus Jack and Terry Funk do not miss wrestling matches! So I have to guess, if the Funker was hurt enough to fly home, that it's probably pretty bad. And I really wish that people could know Terry a little bit more than what they see in the ring, because people will always debate on who the greatest wrestler of all time is, but I guarantee you, you ask every damn last bunch of people in the dressroom, they'll say that Terry Funk is the gutsiest old bastard they've ever seen in their lives.

:And I guess you've probably seen Terry's back, and I hope you saw WrestleMania because it was a tremendous match and I'm very proud of it, and Terry was laying there on the bed with his belt and he said, &quot;Cactus, I'm gonna be alright because I consider this the last match of my career.&quot; See, Terry always wanted to retire as a WWF champion and he said, &quot;Cactus, it's all been worth it, but we don't have those belts now, do we?&quot; And I'm not gonna get into the reason why, but I will say, that when Cactus Jack was laying - and I was conscious and I could move, but it was very hard to move and I was not very far from being unconscious - and when I looked at Terry Funk, well, I heard something in my... in my ears that - I gotta tell you the truth - it kinda made me sick! That's... there was an announcement being made, thanking the fans for coming to the WWF event... and they said something about Stone Cold Steve Austin... and, uh, yeah, people... people started chanting his name. And it's... it's funny, because... when I came here two years ago and I was Mankind, there were always people saying, &quot;Why don't you just be Cactus Jack?&quot; Then I came out in tie-dye and white boots, and they said, &quot;You know, why don't you just be Cactus Jack?&quot; Well, I gave you Cactus Jack. I GAVE YOU EVERY GODDAMN PIECE OF ENERGY I HAD... and when I was laying there, helpless... you chanted someone else's name... ''[stands up]''

:This is not a knock on Stone Cold Steve Austin! Hey I'm happy he's the champion, and he may not admit it, but we've known each other a long time, and he's been my friend. But what you did to me and Terry Funk laying here in the middle of the ring was not only distasteful and disrespectful, it was goddamn disgusting... and I'm gonna give you a chance to make it up to me... because I'm gonna accept a group apology right now. ''[feels crowd heat]'' Well... I can finally say for the first time, after 13 years of blood, sweat and tears, that it's not worth it anymore. It's gonna be a long time before you see Cactus Jack in a ring again. ''[drops mic and leaves ring]''

===April 13===
:''[Shane McMahon and Jim Ross are in Vince McMahon's locker room asking him not to take up Steve Austin's challenge for a WWF title match]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': You get to the car, ok? ''[slams coat onto the table]'' Get my bag and bring it back here.
:'''Shane McMahon''': ''[over Vince's command]'' This is the dumbest decision you've ever made.
:'''Vince''': It may be.
:'''Gerald Brisco''': No it's not.
:'''Shane''': This is the dumbest decision you've ever made!
:'''Brisco''': No, it's not!
:'''Vince''': ''[to JR as Shane storms out]'' And you, you go out there and do your job please, thank you very much.

===April 27===
:''[DX - the New Age Outlaws, Chyna, and XPac, assemble near a military jeep with recoilless cannon]''
:'''Triple H''': Attention! ''[the four stand at attention with Chyna poking her M-16 into Road Dogg's crotch. starts pacing back and forth]'' At ease, men. ''[group goes at ease. Billy Gunn has his rocket launcher tucked like an erect penis and lowers it a bit]'' I said at ease! ''[rocket launcher is lowered more]'' That's better. ''[walks to Billy]'' Stand up straight, soldier. Today we embark on a mission. We have seen the enemy, and he's near. So today, we're gonna go down there.
:'''DX members''': Down where, sir? 
:'''HHH''': There ''[makes crotch gesture]'' and we will blow them out of the water. This mission, should you choose to accept it, will start at the [[w:Norfolk Scope|Norfolk Scope]], with ''[mock Southern drawl]'' Dubya-C-Dubya, the Rasslin' ''[to normal voice]'' and it will end right here tonight, at the [[w:Hampton Roads Coliseum|Hampton Roads Coliseum]], for RAW is WAR. This is your mission, ''[XPac makes a few unintelligible words]'' if you choose to accept it, ladies and gentlemen, if you choose to accept it, it will be all for one and ''[gestures open-palm to DX]''
:'''All DX members''': One for All, so ''[makes DX crotch chop]'' SUCK IT! ''[talk amongst themselves as they mount the jeep. HHH stands on the shotgun seat]''
:'''HHH''': ''[gestures with baton]'' ATTACK!!! ''[DX starts moving]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer has just cut a promo about Kane's predicament at Unforgiven, revealing Kane is his son]''
:'''Jim Ross''':... and of course, the Undertaker obviously was shocked. What we're hearing then is that Paul Bearer is Kane's father.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': And do you know what that means? You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out - that means Paul Bearer had to sleep with the Undertaker's mother!
:'''Ross''': Good Lord..
:'''Lawler''': Whoa!! ''[scoffs and laughs at the revelation]''

===May 4===
:'''Mick Foley''': Cut this music... does anybody here know my name? Because to tell you the truth, I don't know who the hell I am anymore. At Unforgiven, I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin - no I do not have the heavyweight title, but I came real close. And for those of you who've never been on the receiving end of a Stone Cold ass-kicking, let me tell you, it doesn't feel that good... If you were to ask Stone Cold Steve Austin how he felt the next day, well he probably would say he didn't feel a whole hell of a lot better.

:So now, how do I get rewarded for my efforts at Unforgiven? By receiving a rematch? No! By being proclaimed the No.1 contender? No! You see, that honor went to... Goldust. The last time I checked my resume, I was going head to head with the heavyweight champion of the world. The last time I checked the resume of Goldust, that panty-wearing pansy... he was wearing a black teddy in a woman's negligee match. And now the WWF has informed me that I am to wrestle Terry Funk in a no-holds-barred, falls-count-anywhere match. And I guess I know what Vince McMahon must thinking, 'hey let those two kill each other and I won't have to deal with them anymore.'

:You see, I don't have all the answers, but I do know a few things. Number one, I'll be damned if I'm going to throw away 13 years of hard work by sucking up to a low-life like Vince McMahon; number two, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let my wife and kids see me bumping and grinding with a couple of second rate strippers on national television; and number three, I'll be damned if I perform in this stuff ''[Dude Love Outfit]'' ever again. What I'd like right now is to have Vince McMahon out here, because I, Cactus Jack, want some answers and I want them right now! I am waiting for your replay! Vince McMahon, if you are a man, you come out here and face the music. ''[Vince McMahon enters the ring]'' Vince, I don't care what you do - if you bury it ''[Dude Love Outfit]'', you burn it or you put it on yourself, but you will not make me dress up like a horse's ass... EVER... are we understood? ARE WE?&quot;

:'''Vince McMahon''': You've got guts enough to call me out before you? Me? The owner of the World Wrestling Federation? You've got guts enough to call me out before you and all these people? Who the hell do you think you are? Let me tell you something - sure, you hold a victory over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Unforgiven, but you didn't get the job done, because Stone Cold Steve Austin is still the World Wrestling Federation champion!

:And the next night, sure, Goldust becomes the #1 contender, how do you react? You kvetch, you bitch, you cry, you moan, just like all these other people would at their lost opportunity, because you see... they have to make excuses when they don't get that raise, they don't get that promotion, they have to make excuses - I would expect better from you and then... you think I'm trying to punish you by booking you in a match with your best friend, Terry Funk, a no-holds-barred match?
:'''Mick''': Yes, I do!
:'''Vince''': That's not a punishment, THAT'S REWARD, that's what it is, a REWARD!
:'''Mick''': How you figure?
:'''Vince''': Because I believe that you and I are a lot alike. I believe that you recognize this as it truly is. You see, I take adversity and turn it into triumph... This match that you have with your best friend is an opportunity, and that's what I give better than anybody else in the world, opportunity... don't you see? Can't you clearly see this picture? Who've you been listening to?

:Because, if you seize this moment, if you take your best friend out to this ring tonight, and you not only beat him, but beat him... an inch from his life, if you tear him limb from limb... if you REACH INTO HIS CHEST AND PULL OUT HIS HEART... AND HOLD IT AND THE BLOOD DRIPS DOWN ALL OVER YA... THEN YOU WOULD'VE MADE the kind of sacrifice that's necessary to become the #1 contender, the kind of sacrifice that's necessary to BEAT Stone Cold Steve Austin, THE KIND OF SACRIFICE that's necessary TO BE the World Wrestling Federation champion!

:I've got faith in you! I've got confidence in you! Because I believe, deep down in that demented cranium.. you can do it! You can do it! You can seize this opportunity and once again become the #1 contender for the World Wrestling Federation championship. When I came out here, you threw Dude Love into my face... How does it feel for me to throw the truth into yours? 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After JR announces an exclusive interview by Jerry Lawler on Paul Bearer, nobody notices the camera still on and the King is very inquisitive about Kane]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': I told you about it. You hear what I told him. I told the world he's my son. He is my son Jerry, it's that simple.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Cmon, so you're telling me-
:'''Bearer''': He's my son!
:'''Lawler''': You're telling me-
:'''Bearer''': You don't believe me?
:'''Lawler''': You're telling me, you're telling me you nailed the Undertaker's mother.
:'''Bearer''': Well, I nailed - nailed - I ''[Lawler scoffs]'' Okay.
:'''King''': Tell me how that...
:'''Bearer''': Jerry, can I trust you?
:'''King''': I'll tell nobody.
:'''Bearer''': I was 19 years old and I was present at the funeral home. I went out on Tuesday nights to the wrestling matches like I always do with my friends, had a few beers. Coming to the funeral home, there she was in this little titty outfit. I've never been ''[Lawler begins to laugh]'' don't tell nobody. I've never been with a woman before at that point. I wasn't fat like I am now, in fact Jerry I was kinda ''[fixes up tie]'' studly. 
:'''King''': Oh yeah right?
:'''Bearer''': I was! Anyway, I come through the door and... she took me right there! Right there!
:'''King''': Wait where, on the embalming table or something?
:'''Bearer''': No no, in the kitchen floor.
:'''King''': Oh no!
:'''Bearer''': Yeah, in the kitchen floor of the ''[slaps thigh]'' funeral home.
:'''King''': ''[starts to giggle and laugh]'' Paul Bearer slips the salami to the Undertaker's mother on the kitchen floor.
:'''Bearer''': In the kitchen floor in the apartment of the funeral home.
:'''King''': Swear to God.
:'''Bearer''': I swear. It's the gospel truth. That's the way it happened. She took me, an innocent 19-year-old boy, as I lost my virginity to her. ''[as Lawler laughs]'' It's true!
:'''King''': Paul Bearer buries his bologna in the Undertaker's mother.
:'''Bearer''': She was a moaning, and a groanin, and screamin'... and I heard some little feet coming down the stairs. It's a good thing I got up, 'cause it was little Taker coming down the stairs. Stopped me just in time, ''[Lawler laughs]'' and if he did took two more steps, he'd have seen his momma's feet, one was in New York, the other was in LA!!! ''[they laugh as Bearer kicks his legs in delight]''
:'''King''': Can you imagine if little Undertaker had come in and seen Paul Bearer and his mother bumping uglies?

===May 25===
:''[Vince McMahon and the stooges come back to the ring after Austin accepts his apology over the mauling the previous week and arrest]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I hope you've had some fun here tonight, Austin. Hope you're real proud of yourself of what you've accomplished. How dare you have me arrested in public like a common criminal! And pour beer down the back of my neck, and then place conditions upon my release, a condition of apology WHICH I DID NOT MEAN!!! and yet, another condition that should someone interfere to stand guard while I officiate the match at the pay-per-view this Sunday to ensure that I call the match fair and square, I accept that condition too and I'll tell you why, because other than [[Godzilla (1998 film)|Godzilla]] recently being released, there isn't one WWF superstar on the roster that can intimidate me, not one!

===June 1===
:''[Mick Foley has called out Mr McMahon over their failure to take down Stone Cold Steve Austin at Over the Edge and also expressed how good it was to bash him with a steel chair]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Why don't you do it again? Why don't you do it right now ''[points to chair]'' There's the chair. Come on, come on, ''[as Mick picks up and they go around the ring]'' make my day Dude, come on... Come on, HIT ME! Come on, hit me with the chair, come on, blast me - and just think about that college education, that college fund you've got for your kids, going ppft right in the air! Come on, come on dude, hit me! Come on, what about that new house you just moved into, huh? What about it? You know the one, the 20-year mortgage? TWENTY YEARS!! Hit me, come on hit me with the chair! What about that little fund you got set aside, for your parents, you know the one! You'd go through that in no time at all. Come on, Dude, come on Dude... Hit me, Dude. ''[Mick Foley sits down as Vince's taunts hit a raw nerve]'' COME ON, HAVE SOME GUTS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, COME ON, HIT ME WITH THE BLOODY CHAIR!! COME ON! Let me tell you something: the only reason I haven't fired Stone Cold Steve Austin is because he makes me richer! You know what you make me, Dude? ''[closer to Mick's face]'' All you do, is make me SICK! So I'll tell you what... your services in the World Wrestling Federation are no longer required. ''[later starts dancing as Dude Love music airs then leaves the ring]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Undertaker appears in casual attire]''
:'''Undertaker''': Let's start from the beginning, some ten years ago when I first arrived in the World Wrestling Federation. Vince McMahon was known as somebody that would give somebody an opportunity, even if they were just a little different. And Vince McMahon did just that. He gave me the chance to be myself, to be the Undertaker. But you see, that's where all the giving stops and all the taking began. Shortly after my arrival here in the World Wrestling Federation I became the slayer of the dragons. Then you ask what do I mean by that? Vince McMahon knew that I would be loyal for him giving me an opportunity, so what he did is he put every giant, every freak that he knew his handpicked champions couldn't beat and he'd stick me on 'em. And I'd beat 'em, I destroyed 'em and I moved on. What I did for Vince McMahon was make his kingdom safe for himself and all of his handpicked champions. The whole time I knew that my time would come. And after I made his kingdom safe and there was no one left, well then I got my opportunities. Oh yes, I am a two-time former World Wrestling Federation champion. But as you all know, my tenures as champion, they didn't last very long. Why? Because Vince McMahon didn't want someone like the Undertaker representing the World Wrestling Federation, but I remained loyal, even after all his hand-chosen favorites left town for greener pastures—more money—I stayed here. I stayed by his side thinking my time would come. How do I get repaid for that? He forces me to fight my own brother. He gives Paul Bearer an open forum to discuss every tragic incident that ever happened in the life of the Undertaker. For what reason? Let me tell you why: Because it's all ratings! He put my family tragedy on the line for ratings. And even after all that, I never lost my smile, I kept on fighting, and as I've been taking care of family business, Stone Cold Steve Austin rises to the top. But don't get me wrong, I got nothing against Steve Austin. The only thing Steve Austin ever did was come to the ring and fight me like a man—and that's all I ever asked. But you see, Vince, after the years of mistreatment and after the last eight months of you throwing my family up in my face, I've had enough. Now it's time the Undertaker got was is rightfully his. I demand... my shot... at the World Wrestling Federation title. Now, I've done enough talking. Now, Vince McMahon, Mr. McMahon, whatever it is you like to be called, I think it's time you've got your pencil-neck-geeked ass out here and face the Reaper. 
:''[Vince McMahon appears and enters the ring. He suddenly takes the mic from Taker]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I'm gonna give you the answer you're looking for in just a minute, but first you're gonna hear me out! After all I've done for you, you choke-slammed me damn near to hell last week! ''[audience pops]'' You hovered over me like a giant vulture last night - and why? To get my attention? You got it! You got it. You wanna talk about loyalty, dedication, honor, all those qualities you have—I'll grant you that and I'm appreciative for it, but you know, let's face it: What have you done for Vince McMahon lately?
:As far as your family is concerned, all your family problems, I've got a question for you. Is Paul Bearer telling the truth when he said that your mother was a whore? ''[stops Undertaker from a sudden reaction]'' I've got to ask. You want the answer? You want the answer? You wanna be the number one contender. You deserve to be the number one contender. That's what you want, that's what you'll get. Sure, no problem. You'll get it. ''[goes outside ropes]'' You'll get it if you defeat your opponent in this ring tonight. There you go, you got what you wanted, okay? So whoever wins the match between you and your opponent will be the number one contender in this ring, live, tonight. So let's see what happens, Undertaker, let's see what happens '''when you have to face your brother, Kane!!!'''

===July 6===
:''[Kane has just taken down Mankind as the No 1 contender for Austin at Fully Loaded, as Vince McMahon and Steve Austin watch along with JR and Jerry Lawler]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': What about it, Austin? Kane...
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Look, look... ''[Kane takes off his mask to reveal it's the Undertaker underneath]''
:'''Jim Ross''': It's not Kane! ''[Austin is surprised]'' It's the Undertaker, it's the Undertaker... ''[the Undertaker makes a throat-slitting motion to Austin]'' the Undertaker's the No 1 contender!!!

===July 27===
:''[Kaientai and their leader, Yamaguchi-san have just seen Val Venis defeat Brian Christopher]''
:'''Yamaguchi-san''': Val Venis, look at me! Listen! Kaientai's gonna challenge you to a match next week. Val Venis, listen. After we win that match, I'll give you a big surprise to you! ''[gives mic to Dick Togo while Funaki readies a large salami roll on a wooden table. Yamaguchi-san slices it with a katana to his roaring delight.]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[stunned]'' That's, that's a pretty subtle message...
:'''Yamaguchi-san''': I choppy-choppy your pee-pee!! HAHAHAA!!!

===August 3===
:''[Taka Michinoku has just turned on Val Venis during their match against Kaientai, and everybody's beating up Val]''
:'''Jim Ross''': What in the heck is going on here? Why did Taka do this?
:'''Taka Michinoku''': ''[points to Mrs Yamaguchi-san]'' Sister! My sister!!!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What did he just say? My sister?
:'''Ross''': Is Mrs Yamaguchi Taka Michinoku's sister?
:'''Lawler''': That's what he's saying. Well, that explains it JR. I mean, she not only disgraced Yamaguchi-san, but Taka's entire family! 

===August 10===
:''[Jerry Lawler talks to Val Venis about how his ordeal with Kaientai went the week before]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Are you still hanging in there?
:'''Val Venis''': Hello, ladies. You know tonight I come to you a humble man, half the man that I used to be, but you know, it's like they say - you live by the sword and you die by the sword. You know there's only one way to stop the mighty boa - and that's to sever it at the head. Well ladies, you better take a rain check on them new snakeskin boots, because - because - the Big Valbowski is alive and ready to bite, baby! Well you know something, thanks to a cold butcher's block, heh heh heh, and a little shrinkage, and of course my good friend, John Wayne Bobbitt, who just happened to cut the lights just at the appropriate time, the Big Valbowski is standing at full attention, cocked, rocked and ready to unload.
:'''[[w:John Wayne Bobbitt|John Wayne Bobbitt]]''': We live on the edge - Val ordered a club soda with a slice and the bartender tried to cut us off.
:'''Lawler''': John I don't want to cut you short - but I understand your ex-wife Lorena actually threw something out the window and it was lost out there for a while, but they found it right?
:'''Bobbitt''': Yeah they found it.
:'''Lawler''': Well that's a good thing because I was thinking how funny a picture of that would look on the side of a milk carton.
:'''Venis''': ''[to Yamaguchi-san's wife]'' Baby, it's been a long, hard road - but it ends right here, baby! You know something, ah don't cry baby, you see NO woman is worth the trouble that you brought me - no woman! I hope you enjoyed the ride baby, because this is where you get off! So take your shoes from under my bed and hit the bricks. ''Adios!'' Goodbye lady!

===September 14===
:''[Val Venis cuts into Dustin Rhodes' promo]''
:'''Val Venis''': Repent? Repent for what, Dustin? Because I work hard? Or is it because I... play hard? Oh and by the way, Dustin, speaking of work, let me introduce you to my latest video, entitled, ''The Preacher's Wife''. ''[TitanTron plays clip of The Preacher's Wife. A Film by Val Venis]''
:'''Venis''': ''[in video toting cigar in a hotel room bed]'' Hello Dustin. You know something, after you jumped me from behind last night, I was a little hurt. In fact, I even needed a little TLC. So after I got back to the hotel, I made a little phone call to the one person who could take my mind off all my aches and pains, and make the Big Valbowski stand proud once again. ''[Terri Runnels appears out of the blanket, implying she was giving Val head]''
:'''Terri Runnels''': Hi Dustin. ''[goes back under]''
:'''Venis''': and again, and again... ''[laughs]''
:'''Dustin Runnels''': ''[mouths off]'' My God... ''[breaks down kneeling with hands to his face]''
:'''Venis''': ''[laughs]'' I guess getting on your knees, Dustin, RUNS IN THE FAMILY!!!

===September 28===
:''[Vince is bitterly angry that Austin crashed his WWF Championship awarding ceremony for the Undertaker and Kane]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Before I was so rudely interrupted, Undertaker and Kane, we were about to present the WWF Championship. However, if you recall, the deal was, Undertaker and Kane, you would get the title shot as long as you kept Stone Cold Steve Austin away from me. For three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me!!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': That's right.
:'''Vince McMahon''': So let me say this, you didn't live up to your end of the deal, I'm not gonna live up to mine! ''[Undertaker glares at him]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What? What is he saying, J.R.?
:'''Vince McMahon''': You're gonna have to fight for it! On the next pay-per-view, October 18, you two are gonna battle it out for the WWF Championship...
:'''Jim Ross''': That's at Judgment Day in three weeks...
:'''McMahon''': ...whether you like it or not. And by the way, since you can't seem to keep Stone Cold out of your business and mine, good, I'm gonna put him in it. Austin is gonna be the guest referee.
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my God in heaven.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?
:'''Jim Ross''': Austin will referee Kane and the Undertaker at Judgment Day.
:'''McMahon''': And Stone Cold, Austin, I just hope that somewhere, your cellmate is telling you all of this right about now, because I wanna be there to watch him suffer the indignity of having to count one of you two monsters to the WWF Championship.
:'''Lawler''': Can you imagine that?
:'''McMahon''': However, so that everyone in this arena is not cheated, so that everyone at home watching ''Raw'' gets their money's worth, that in this ring tonight, you will see Undertaker and Kane in a handicap tag-team match, against three individuals...
:'''Jim Ross''': Three?
:'''McMahon''': ...Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and The Rock!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh yeah! Shamrock, Mankind, The Rock against the Undertaker and Kane here tonight live.
:'''McMahon''': And maybe, just maybe you could get it right, I'd like to wish you the best of luck. You know why? I think you two are gonna need it because as far as I'm concerned, it's like dealing with the handicapped. One's physical ''[referring to Kane]'' and the other is mental ''[referring to Undertaker]''. Good luck to you both.
:''[Undertaker grabs McMahon.]''
:'''Undertaker''': You need to watch your ass, because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, ''you're'' gonna be the one handicapped, and that I will promise.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Kane has just set up Mr. McMahon on the steel steps and Undertaker has the top two steps]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh no, holding the ankle and the knee across the steps...Undertaker ''[sees Taker raising the steps]'' NO NO NO!! ''[Taker kayfabe smashes steps on McMahon's left shin]'' OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! ''[Taker leaves Vince reeling from the pain]'' Vince McMahon's leg's gotta be shattered now!!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Don't move it, don't move it!
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon writhing in pain, at the hands of the two men that will meet for the WWF title in the Rosemont Horizon at Judgment Day with Steve Austin as the referee!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[sad and concerned]'' How could this happen, J.R.? McMahon didn't mean it when he called them handicapped! CALL A DOCTOR!!!!
:'''Pat Patterson''': ''[over JR's commentary as he helps Vince]'' ...I can't believe it, those dirty bastards, they BROKE HIS LEG! Get somebody out here!
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon, McMahon needs an ambulance. Well, you better not move him! My God, what else can happen here?

===October 5===
:'''Nurse''': ''[to Mr. McMahon]'' It looks just fine to me. ''[to a doctor]'' How about you, doctor?
:'''Steve Austin''': ''[disguising as a doctor]'' I'll take it from here, nurse.
:'''Vince McMahon''': NO!
:''[Austin attacks Vince McMahon.]''
:'''McMahon''': Get him off me! Get him off me!!
:'''Austin''': ''[mumbles as he strips off Vince's shirt]'' How about your foot? ''[attacks Vince McMahon's injured ankle, on a cast at the foot of the bed. McMahon shrieks in pain]'' What do you think about that? 
:''[Austin slams Vince McMahon with a bedpan, and he falls off the bed]''
:'''Austin''': Calling Dr. Austin--Get up, you piece of trash. Get up, you piece of sh- ''[manhandles Vince back to bed]'' Calling Dr Austin we got a emergency!
:'''McMahon''': No, NOO!! 
:'''Austin''': ''[sets up defibrillator]'' Everybody clear ''[shocks Vince and stoomps on him on the floor]''
:'''McMahon''': ''[as Austin bends him over the bed and he gets an enema-like device connected to an IV drip]'' No! No please no!! No, help me, please!
:'''Austin''': I've always known you were full of shit, Vince. You just bow down. This is gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt me! ''[kayfabe jams device up Vince's butt. Vince screams loudly]'' You piece of trash!

===October 12===
:''[A cement truck appears.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': What the hell is that?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What is that?
:'''Jim Ross''': Is that...?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': It's a cement truck, and it's Stone Cold Steve Austin driving it.
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my. Stone Cold Steve Austin is in the building.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What is that idiot doing? We've seen him driving a Zamboni, now he's driving around a cement truck?
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh folks, this is going to get real interesting. The Rattlesnake is here. Is that going to make Mr. McMahon happy or not? We'll find out next.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Stone Cold, what the hell are you doing? A cement truck?
:'''Steve Austin''': You heard it. I've got an open invitation, so I don't know what you're worked up about. But what I will tell you, if I wanted to get that one-legged bastard, Vince McMahon, and tell him to get his ass out here, because what I'm going to do might create a bit of interest in the McMahon side of the family. Now get your ass out here because I've got some work to do and I want to check my equipment out.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Steve Austin is driving a cement truck toward Vince McMahon's Corvette.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': Wait a minute.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': I knew it JR. He's trying to drive it right in here, then get ready to run. He'll run over us.
:'''Jim Ross''': Wait a minute, there's...
:'''Lawler''': Hey, wait a minute, don't run over Mr. McMahon's Corvette.
:'''Ross''': I don't think he's... ''[sees Austin setting up the mixer's metal trough on the car]'' it doesn't look like he's going to run over it.
:'''Lawler''': Wait a minute!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God, I don't believe this.
:'''Lawler''': You can't do that!
:'''Ross''': I do not believe this, ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Lawler''': Mr. McMahon! Mr. McMahon!
:'''Ross''': That's one of the Corvettes in Mr. McMahon's collection.
:'''Lawler''': That's a $50,000 car! No! J.R.! ''[cement mixture is poured into the car]'' NOOOO!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God! Oh my! Austin is loading McMahon's car with cement.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[watching it on the monitor]'' That's my Corvette!!!!
:'''Ross''': McMahon's car is being loaded with cement.
:'''Lawler''': Oh my God!
:''[The cement mix overflows, breaking the car's side and rear windows.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon's prized Corvette, one of his collection, is being destroyed by the Rattlesnake.
:'''Lawler''': NOOOO!
:'''Ross''': The Rattlesnake has struck. ''[Austin leaves cement truck]'' And it looks like... Austin is coming our way.
:'''Lawler''': Somebody call the cops!!!
:'''Ross''': Austin is heading our way. The Rattlesnake, will he be here next?
:'''Lawler''': 911!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin''': First off, I'd like to thank Mr. McMahon for the invitation here tonight. Well, I apologize to you, because I guess it must have been some mistake in the address that went to Austin 3:16 Construction Company. See, what you did, Vince, you screwed Stone Cold Steve Austin. Hell, son, it's easy to see that you submitted your own damn fate. Because you can rest assured that Stone Cold Steve Austin — as long as he's here right in the World Wrestling Federation and as long as you're here, too — I will make your life a living hell, and that's all I got to say about that! As far as this Sunday goes, Stone Cold Steve Austin, special referee... Hell, I'll be glad to put the striped shirt on, because I think I'd make a damn good referee for this match. If you think Stone Cold Steve Austin would make a damn good referee, give me a hell yeah! ''[audience reacts]'' I'll tell you this: After those two big bastards beat the living hell out of each other, you can bet your ass, that the only hand Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna hold up is my own.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?
:'''Steve Austin''': And the thing about this, Vince, there ain't a damn thing that you can do about it. ''[at the stage, Vince McMahon appears in a wheelchair]'' Awww... Go ahead and hurl your little ass down here!
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[Big Boss Man and two police K9s and their handlers appear]'' As you were saying?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': There you go.
:'''Vince McMahon''': Stick it! Get him! Stick it! Get him!!! ''[Austin tries to rush Vince but stops when the dogs reach out short of him]'' Yeah come on, Austin! That's it! Yeah, come on! Come on!! ''[Austin flips off at him]'' I hope you're proud of yourself yeah, that's it, I hope you're real proud. What gives you the right to destroy other people's property? What gives you the right to pour concrete in one of my Corvettes? That was part of a collection and now you've ruined it! I just hope that the Stone Cold Steve Austin Construction Company gives you a pair of boots 'cause you're gonna need 'em tonight, let me tell you that! You're gonna need 'em, because you're gonna be wrestling in that ring tonight. Yeah, but you're not gonna be wrestling by yourself, oh no! I've got a partner picked out for you: the so-called People's Champion, The Rock!
:'''Jim Ross''': Austin and The Rock together?
:'''Vince McMahon''': Yeah, that's the good news — if there is any good news. The bad news is that you and The Rock will be facing two individuals that I hope annihilate each other this Sunday. You'll be facing The Undertaker and Kane! ''[audience pop]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': Right here tonight live, Austin and The Rock against The Undertaker and Kane.
:'''Vince McMahon''': I also hope that the Austin 3:16 Construction Company is gonna provide you with a real good rear-view mirror, because I think some time tonight, you're gonna have to have eyes in the back of your head. I think, of all I've been through, these last two weeks — And I admit, my life has been a living hell. I admit—''[miffed at &quot;Asshole!&quot; chants]'' WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?
:'''Austin''': I don't know how good your hearing is, but you got about 15,000 people calling you an asshole! ''[audience pop]''
:'''McMahon''': Over the last two weeks — it all started after you lost the WWF title, and you recklessly and carelessly drove that Zamboni at full speed into the arena — YOU DIDN'T CARE WHO YOU RAN OVER as long as you got to me! ''[anguished]'' And then from there, you got to me, alright. And after you did — And because of you, The Undertaker and Kane crushed my ankle. ''[gestures to ankle]'' It's crushed! I may never, ever again, play another polo match. I may never again ride a horse, ever. I may never again compete in an athletic event, and I hold you responsible!
:And then, in the hospital, last week — my god! My head is still ringing from being struck in the cranium by that big metal bed pan.
:'''Jim Ross''': Bed pan McMahon.
:'''McMahon''': My nervous system is still in shock over that defibrillation. And my rectal area, ''[cringes at recalling the moment]'' when you stuck... YOU VIOLATED ME, AUSTIN! YOU VIOLATED ME! That damn open hospital gown — Let me tell you something: As much humiliation have I had ''[corrects himself]'' that I have suffered, you're gonna suffer more and I'll tell you where, and I'll tell you when. It'll be this Sunday and it'll be in Chicago. Let me tell you something: If you don't raise the hand of the new World Wrestling Federation champion and humble yourself before me, then read my lips: I promise you, I GUARANTEE YOU, Austin, if you don't raise the hand of a new WWF champion, this Sunday, on the spot, I WILL FIRE YOUR ASS!
:'''Jim Ross''': Good God.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Woh. He guaranteed it.
:'''Austin''': You stupid bastard, you ain't got the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''McMahon''': ''[irked]'' I don't have the balls? I've got balls the size of grapefruits! And this Sunday, you're gonna be picking the seeds out of your teeth, because, Austin, you will be humbled! I guarantee it! One way or the other — the easy way: you raise the hand of a champion. The hard way: I PUBLICLY, I GUARANTEE, I WILL ''[points at Austin with every word] '''FIRE YOUR ASS THIS SUNDAY!''''' Hit the music!
:''[Vince McMahon leaves.]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': He meant it, JR. He guaranteed it.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'll tell you one thing. When McMahon guaranteed that Austin would lose the WWF title, it happened. And now McMahon has guaranteed that if Stone Cold Steve Austin does not humble himself and raise the hand of a new WWF Champion this Sunday on pay-per-view, that Austin will be fired right on the spot.

===October 19===
:''[all WWF Superstars are assembled in and around the ring for an address from Mr. McMahon]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': May I have your attention, please?! ''[crowd chants &quot;Asshole!&quot;]'' May I have your attention? I have a very important announcement to make as relates to the World Wrestling Federation Championship. As a result of an individual who is no longer gainfully employed here in the World Wrestling Federation, we have no World Wrestling Federation champion, as we speak. However, I assure you, that on the night of November 15 at the Survivor Series—as a matter of fact, I guarantee you... oh oh, there goes that word again: I guarantee you! Nonetheless, I guarantee you that on November 15 at the end of that evening we will have an undisputed WWF Champion, because on that night, at the Survivor Series, 16 WWF Superstars will compete in a one-night tournament to determine just who will be the next undisputed WWF Champion.

:Now, as far as some of the events of last night are concerned: Seems as though some of you are in a state of shock, some of you are in a state of disbelief. ''[more 'Asshole!' chants]'' If I am, I'm damn proud of it! Some of you are certainly in a state of shock as—'Did Vince McMahon really fire Stone Cold Steve Austin last night?' Well, for the benefit of those of you who did not join us on pay-per-view, last night at Judgment Day—how appropriate: Judgment Day! Let me repeat the words I said to Stone Cold Steve Austin: 'Austin, screw you! You're fired!' How did Austin take this news? Well, I show you how he took this news, on the TitanTron; if you'll direct your attention, someone from the production will put up a freeze frame of Stone Cold Steve Austin's face. And as soon as Stone Cold heard those words, Stone Cold had that look on his face. ''[gloats about the shot]'' A look of disbelief! He couldn't believe he had just been fired. Austin, as a matter of fact, started mumbling about something about hunting season or going hunting—I didn't know what he meant until this morning someone told me that rumor was, Austin was indeed hunting. He was hunting for a job!

:Austin, if you ever come into a World Wrestling Federation arena again, then you'll do so just like this capacity crowd: You'll have to buy a ticket, Austin! ''[more 'Asshole!' chants]'' So, what did it feel like? Many of you are saying to yourself, 'My God, what's it like to be Vince McMahon? What's it like to have the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin?' I really wondered. I wondered if Austin provoked me, how I would feel. And last night I searched. And last night, when I fired Austin, I'll admit it felt pretty damn good. At the end of the evening, after asking that question again, I was convinced it felt great. And then, this morning—you know, when you look into that mirror, bright and early, when you first get up, that soul-searching—Alright, Vince McMahon, how did you feel after firing Stone Cold Steve Austin? You know what it felt like to me this morning? IT WAS BETTER THAN SEX!

:Which brings me as to why each and everyone of you stand before me as WWF Superstars. Hopefully, you all learned the lesson that Stone Cold learned last night. Hopefully, no one in that ring will EVER cross the boss, because none of you are as big as Vince McMahon! You know, all that Austin 3:16 paraphernalia out there, T-shirts, what have you? Another rumor going around... that it's going like hotcakes, because now Austin 3:16—that's a collector's item, you see! Now there's a new expression. A new expression that's gonna be sweeping the nation, sweeping the globe; and that's McMahon 3:16... And McMahon 3:16 says, &quot;I've got the brass to fire your ass.&quot; Thank you very much! Thank you, Gentlemen! ''[freeze frame shot of Austin turns into live shot of Austin at his truck, in hunting camouflage bringing his rifle and bow set]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer and Undertaker appear one day after they turned on Kane]''
:'''Undertaker''': As you can plainly see, there has been a reconciliation made. Brother, Paul has come home to lead my Ministry of Darkness. And I'm sure that there is those who can't understand because they have no vision how I could align myself once more with such a despicable, evil, maniacal individual. Well if those aren't reasons enough, I don't guess I can explain it any better. What we have, is someone with vision. Someone who truly understands the power of darkness. He allowed me to clear my head and refocus on what it is I'm here for. Now what we have is a beginning of a new era. And we will unleash with our Ministry of Darkness, a plague for which the World Wrestling Federation has never seen, nor will it be ever understood amongst those who do not relish in the darkness. So now, those of you, who do not declare, shall be declared!
:'''Paul Bearer''': Kane, I used you boy. Ever since you were a little child, I took care of you like a pet, like a put dog on a leash. Just for special occasions, yes I used you, because you're stupid! You're weak! You can't even speak for yourself! You turned your back on me twice. The first time was 8 weeks ago, the last time was last night boy! You could never understand the darkness Kane, that's why I'll never have any use for you again.
:'''Undertaker''': You know Kane, I know there is a thought that's been burning in your mind for years. You really wanna know what happened the day you caught on fire? Well listen, and listen close: '''I set that fire!''' And I set it because you were weak as a child, and you are weak now. And we have no room for the weak. Only the strong shall survive.
:''[Kane comes with a casket, looks like he is going to challenge Undertaker]''
:'''Kane''': You and I... tonight... casket match! And brother... you will... REST IN PEACE!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Having held Vince McMahon hostage all night long, Austin ups the ante with a toy revolver that reads BANG 3:16]''
:'''Austin''': You've got to remember, Vince, it wasn't Stone Cold that screwed Vince McMahon, it was Vince McMahon that screwed Vince McMahon. ''[notices pants]'' I think you've got a problem there. Looks like we've got another shirt out on the way. That shirt might just say, &quot;McMahon 3:16 says, 'I just pissed my pants.'&quot;

===October 26===
:''[Vince McMahon appears with his lawyers, Sgt Slaughter and the stooges plus Big Boss Man]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Against, against my volition, Stone Cold Steve Austin is here in this arena, tonight. Not only do I hold Stone Cold Steve Austin responsible for every single, reprehensible act he committed against me, I want all of you people to know, that I hold ''[points to audience] each and every one of you'' responsible as well! My God, what's the matter with you people? I've lost all faith in humanity! Where the hell are your values? Where are your morals!? Whatever happened to the Good Samaritan? Where were you in my hour of need? I'll tell you where you were: you were cheering for every act of humiliation Austin committed against me! You savored every violation, every liberty that Austin took against me, but what you enjoyed the most was when Austin forced me to go to the ring. He made me get down on my knees, he made me beg! He made me... ''[saddened]'' he made me cry! He made me urinate myself! ''[angry]'' And where were you? Where were any of you? No one came to my aid. ''[to stooges]'' Not you, Brisco! Not you Patterson, or the Commissioner, no one. My ankle has been reinjured, I've ruined a perfectly good Armani suit. I hurt all over. But most of all, my feelings have been hurt. They have been crushed, but despite the injury, the insult Austin, after the injury I will never ever forgive you for! That wasn't a letter of introduction you jammed down in my coat pocket oh no, that was a legal document Austin and you know damn well then it was a legal document, and with this battery of attorneys I have behind me, Austin, I will fight you. I will fight you in court if I can, hell I'll fight you all the way to the Supreme Court! Austin, before you make your next move, you better take stock in what I say.
:'''Steve Austin''': ''[appears on TitanTron]'' Well speaking of stock, here am I. I've been stocking Pampers diapers, in case the bastard pisses all over himself! You know what I mean!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Shane McMahon appears as Vince fumes at Austin being employed in the WWF with a new contract and ignores his calls to join him on the stage]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': I don't listen to you anymore. I am an officer, more importantly, a stockholder of this company, and what you did to Stone Cold Steve Austin was wrong, Dad. You were wrong.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[to the stooges]'' He's just a kid, he's just a kid!
:'''Shane''': I just wanted to tell you personally that it was me. It was ''me'', Dad, that hired Stone Cold back. Dad, it was me!... Hey, I guess I finally have your attention now, don't I? After 28 years, I FINALLY have your attention. I've seen superstars come, and I've seen superstars go, and why, Dad, why? Because it's always been about your ego! You said it yourself: no one's bigger than Vince McMahon, oh no! All my life, people have asked me, 'Boy, what's it like to be Vince McMahon's son? Wow, isn't that great?' And I have lied year after year after year... ''[gets more emotional]'' to protect you, to protect our family name. Well, the lying stops now! I'm tired of it!... You never cared about me! Everything—I couldn't do anything right for you. Nothing is ever right. My grades in school were never good enough for you. 
:'''Vince''': ''[in tears]'' Yes they were!
:'''Shane''': My athletic accomplishments were never good enough for you. My business deals—no matter how much money I made you—was never good enough for YOU! The only thing I ever wanted from you, the only thing I ever wanted, is for you to be proud of me. OF ME! But I finally figured it out: That's never ever gonna happen, because it's never been about me, it's been about you. YOU, DAD! ''[Vince closes his eyes and grimaces because Shane struck a raw nerve]'' It's always about perception. Perception. Ever since, I'm always known as Vince's boy. 'How does Vince's boy make him look?' It wasn't about me, it was about how I made you look, that perception, at your big corporate parties.
:'''Vince''': ''[saddened]'' You're my son—
:'''Shane''': Yeah, I'm your son, but I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm a man and I stand in this ring as a man. I'm no longer your boy, Dad. I'm proud of who I am. I am proud of the person I have become. My name is Shane McMahon, and for 28 years—for 28 years I've finally built up enough courage to face you here today, to stand up to YOU! I guess, now you have something to be proud of me about, don't you Dad? Because I finally stood up to you and I had the BRASS to do it!... Isn't it ironic? I guess, I'm just like you after all, isn't that right, Dad?!? ''[tosses mic back to Austin as Vince rebuffs Pat Patterson trying to comfort him]''
:'''Steve Austin''': If you think Vince got what he had comin', gimme a hell yeah.
:'''Audience''': HELL YEAH!!

===November 2===
:''[A wheelchair-bound Vince McMahon has just made Mankind promise he won't interfere in an upcoming match between Ken Shamrock and the Rock and has something for him]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I have it for you. ''[takes off black sheet]'' This is the WWF Hardcore Championship belt, and Mick, you've earned it. You've earned it. ''[Big Boss Man moves away to open a door]''
:'''Mankind''': ''[accepts title and laughs]'' I love it! ''[kisses belt]'' I gotta be honest with you, I love it!
:'''Vince''': Just one thing. In some respects, I think I lost a son tonight... ''[puts hand on Mankind's shoulder]'' maybe I gained another.
:'''Mankind''': Really? ''[Vince drives off]'' Gee thanks, Dad. ''[Vince stops, visibly irked. Leaves]''

===November 16===
:''[Vince McMahon addresses the crowd]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Thank you for that warm Kentucky reception! Last night at the Survivor Series, my son Shane and I proved that whoever it was that said 'you can't fool all of the people all of the time' was a damn fool. A damned fool is someone who insists on doing things the hard way. A damned fool is someone who embraces middle class ethics and values. And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone who doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass. Now now now wait a minute, now don't tell me all of you don't kiss the boss' ass, I know you do, you probably don't just kiss it enough! Right now, I would like to introduce you to someone who certainly is no damn fool, oh no, he's not the People's Champion, he never was; he's always been MY Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Champion - the CORPORATE Champion - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROCK! ''[The Rock comes to the ring]'' Ladies and gentlemen, listen up to the Rock!
:'''The Rock''': You know Mr. McMahon, all day long the Rock's phone has been ringin' off the hook, and the message has been clear. Why Rock? Why did you sell out? Well, actually, the Rock never sold out - the Rock just... got ahead. Now, will some of you call the Rock a kissass? Well I'm sure you will, because quite frankly, you are all unintelligent pieces of trailer park trash - do you smell it? Now, you pieces of trash - you work your candyasses off day after day after day, 9 to 5, for minimum wage. Well, the Rock did what the Rock had to do to get to the top of the World and that is him standing smack dab in the middle of the Corporate ring, your WWF World Champion!
:Now, sure, you pieces of trash, you work hard, you do what you have to do, day after day, and quite frankly, you're all no different from a big piece - the biggest piece of trailer park trash in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, I'll tell you what, you and Austin, you can have your morality, you can have your honesty, you can have your blood... you can have your blood, your sweat and your tears, I'll tell you what, all that hard work, fifty cents couldn't buy you a cup of redneck coffee. Now: 'Die Rocky Die.' 'Rocky Sucks?' 
:You see, the Rock NEVER, EVER forgot that, and he's gonna damn sure make sure that you NEVER, EVER forget it as well. You see what the Rock plans on doin' is he plans on raisin' the Peop- oh, I'm sorry, he plans on raisin' the Corporate Eyebrow, he plans on planting ya with the Rock Bottom, and the Rock damn sure plans on layin' the smack down on your candy ass with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, the Corporate Elbow. Now, the Rock said that he would rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss his. But now, the Rock says, he would much rather kiss Mr. McMahon's ass than to EVER, and the Rock means EVER, kiss yours if you smell what the Rock is cooking!

===November 23===
:''[The Undertaker and Paul Bearer are setting up a sedated Stone Cold Steve Austin to be embalmed alive]''
:'''The Undertaker''': ''[to Austin as Paul Bearer patches him up]'' I hope that you could hear me, because what you're about to experience is the worst imaginable pain and horror that you could ever endure. You see there, Austin? When one understands it, they become ageless. They become deathless. They become immortal!! ''[begins sacrificial oration]'' Satana, badala, anda ov satana ''[picks up trocar and prepares to stab Austin]'' Satana, nadala, anail, nathrak, dorthnei, diednei ''[knock on door and Paul Bearer answers]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': ''[sees who it is]'' Kane!!!

=== December 7 ===
:''[Austin comes to ring with everyone's cheer]''
:'''Steve Austin''': For the last few months, here in the World Wrestling Federation, with the title or without, Vince McMahon has seen fit to throw everything that he can at Stone Cold Steve Austin and somehow I've always managed to scrape by. That's all fine and well, but six days from now at Rock Bottom in a Buried Alive match, in my opinion, the stakes are stacked higher than they've ever been for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Undertaker, you come out here, talk about sacrificing me, about wanting my soul, you hit me in the head with a shovel, you tried to bury me, you tried to embalm me and none of that worked... in the Ministry of Stone Cold Steve Austin, at Rock Bottom, you can bet your ass that you can expect no mercy from Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that's all I got to say about that!
:''[Lights get closed and Undertaker's theme song plays as a TX symbol appears in front of the screen]''
:'''Undertaker''': ''[voiceover]'' Austin, we've traveled down the highway to hell, and our journey has enlightened us on a few matters. One, you're helpless against my Ministry, and the other is I can take your rotting soul any time I wish. Tonight, our journey stops in your purgatory, where you will remain until Rock Bottom, and on that night boy, I will sacrifice you to the Ministry of Darkness and let the entire world watch you get buried alive and BURN IN HELL!
:''[The symbol gets burned by a storm, as Austin is a little scared]''

=== December 28 ===
:'''Val Venis''': Hello, ladies! You know something? For the next couple of days, ''[points to right leg]'' this leg will be known as Christmas, and ''[points to left leg]'' this leg will be known as New Years. So ladies, why don't y'all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays.

== 1999 ==
=== January 4 ===
:''[The Rock is livid that Vince caved to Mankind's demand for a WWF title match just to spare Shane from a broken shoulder]''
:'''The Rock''': I'm the damn champ. How could you just give in so damn easy? Regardless of who it is, I'm not even ready, the Rock doesn't have his clothes, he got nothing... ''[Shane and Vince talk over him]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': He nearly broke my left shoulder.
:'''Vince McMahon''': It's my son, dammit! 
:'''The Rock''': The Rock doesn't have his clothes. I'm the champ and then now all of a sudden, I gotta face Mankind?!
:'''Vince''': It's my son!!
:'''The Rock''': I know it's your damn son but dammit I...
:'''Vince''': ''[as they all walk to the backstage]'' Go get ready, you're a champion! C'mon, get ready, you're a champion!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the No-Disqualification WWF Championship match]''
:'''Michael Cole''': DX and the Corporate Team are going at it!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Look out! ''[Glass shatters]'' What?! Oh no!
:'''Cole''': Stone Cold is here! Stone Cold is here!
:'''Lawler''': Look out, Mr. McMahon! The Rattlesnake is here!
:''[Austin enters the ring and nails The Rock on the head with a chair]''
:'''Cole''': Stone Cold with a chair! ''[Austin drapes Mankind on top of The Rock]'' He pulled Mankind on The Rock!
:'''Lawler''': ''[as Hebner counts]'' No! No! ''[Three count]'' Don't do it! ''[arena erupts]''
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Mankind!
:'''Lawler''': ''[over the announcement]'' Oh my God, no!
:'''Cole''': Mankind did it! Mick Foley did it!
:'''Lawler''': No, Stone Cold did it!
:'''Cole''': Mankind has achieved his dream, and the dream of everyone else who's been told, &quot;you can't do it&quot;!
:'''Lawler''': No! You can't do it! You can't do this!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mankind''': At the risk of not sounding very cool, I'd like to dedicate this match to my two little people at home and say...BIG DADDIO DID IT!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': This is the blackest day in the history of the WWF!!

=== January 11 ===
:''[The Acolytes look on, waiting for &quot;He&quot; and having Dennis Knight ready for him; The Undertaker comes to stage and sits to his throne]''
:'''Undertaker''': They lay me down in a grave as if it would be my final resting place.... filling it with the Earth's rotting soil. They tried to destroy me, wishing I would just go away. But what is it? What have they really done? The simple minds of mortal men... they sent me back to the place that is my origin. Destroy me? The more they try, the more powerful I've become. And now, I've risen from my Earthy grave and I will slay the ones I once saved. The reckoning is upon us. The day that the Ministry of Darkness seizes the land, destroys all that you hold dear, make play things our of your heroes and devours your innocence. The plague of darkness is coming; an all encompassing evil from which there is no escape, no mercy, no hope. Its called the future. And in the future, I will look down upon thee and I will decide whether you are an Agent of Darkness, or are you just mere kindling for my fires. The Power of Darkness shall be offered only to a chosen few. And those that resist the temptations of my Ministry, pain becomes synonymous with punishment. Embrace the Darkness and relish in the unearthly delight that pain has to offer. Resist and there are no limits to the torment you subject yourself to. Don't fight it. It will tear your soul apart. So let my servants be few and secret. They shall rule the many and the known, for I am the Reaper of men, the Chaser of souls, the Weaver of nightmares. I am the Heart of Darkness. I am now and ever will be the Purity of Evil. The Hell you were threatened with as a child is no longer an option. It is a reality, a living, breathing reality and you are all right in the middle of it. Yes, Hell has relocated to Earth.
:''[He comes to Knight, touches him, cuts his wrist and fills cup with his blood]''
:'''Undertaker''': From this moment on, you are no longer Dennis Knight. You are Mideon. Now drink.
:''[Knight, or Mideon, drinks Undertaker's blood, Taker gets Knight's cloth open and draws his symbol to Knight's chest with a knife, goes in front of his throne]''
:'''Undertaker''': Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark and you will learn why.
:''[Undertaker's symbol gets burned by a storm]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Chyna appears as the last Corporate Rumble entry but Vince McMahon is distracted by Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[sees Chyna]'' We got problems! Watch out, watch out ''[as Chyna rolls Vince over the top rope]'' WATCH OUT!!
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[as Shane repeatedly screams NO! seeing Vince whiplashed and sprawled from the bottom rope]'' There goes the draw! Chyna wins the Corporate Rumble! Chyna is No 30 in the Royal Rumble!
:'''Lawler''': Mr McMahon has been eliminated by a woman!!
:'''Cole''': Austin made sure that he meets Mr McMahon first at the Rumble!
:'''Shane McMahon''': Austin you'll pay!!!! Austin you're gonna pay at the Rumble!
:'''Cole''': Steve Austin and Mr McMahon are gonna be one on one at the Rumble.
:'''McMahon''': I HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!!!
:'''Cole''': Mr McMahon is No 2. Stone Cold is No 1..
:'''McMahon''': How can Chyna be No 30?!?
:'''Cole''': The Rattlesnake has struck again.
:'''McMahon''': Austin will pay for this, I tell you that!

=== February 15 ===
:''[The Ministry of Darkness come to the ring]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': You don't hear the fat man talk too much these days unless I have something very important to say, so I suggest you listen. And you - owner of the World Wrestling Federation, Vincent K. McMahon - bring your butt off that pedestal that you built for yourself and listen to the Lord of Darkness.
:'''Undertaker''': McMahon, in time, your World Wrestling Federation will belong to me. One by one, they will all fall before my Ministry. Last night, the Bossman received just a small sample of the power I possess. Last night, Bossman, we let you go. Next time, you won't be so lucky. What we did, Mr. McMahon, is we went to the heart and soul of your Corporation and we took him out. Just to let you know that we can take anybody, any time we desire. And there's not a damn thing that you can do about it. Now I'm sure you're asking yourself, Mr. McMahon, how can I be so confident? How can I succeed when all others have failed? It's simple. '''I own the key to your heart, and your soul'''. While you were preoccupied with your petty obsessions, I have amassed an army. An army that will destroy you and your corporation. Each soul that we take, we take in the name of a far greater power than even myself. And in that power's name, in its grandest vision, in its grandest dream, and in my Ministry's destiny, I will own the World Wrestling Federation.
:''[Big Bossman appears, who got attacked by the Ministry previous night]''
:'''Big Bossman''': You want some of me? You want some of the Big Bossman? I don't think so. I'm not hard to find. You got aspirations, taking over the Corporation? No way, pal. Bottomline is, if you got the guts, let's get it started here tonight. Any three of you punks against me, two of my guys, tonight. You know what I mean. Undertaker, it's just a matter of time, punk, I'm gonna stick my foot up your dead ass!
:''[Bossman leaves the stage]''
:'''Undertaker''': You know, you should be more careful what you ask for.

=== February 22 ===
:''[The Undertaker appears on the titantron]''
:'''Undertaker''': The battle has been joined. My agents of darkness are poised to unleash my reign of terror on the World Wrestling Federation. All in the name of my master. McMahon, you think you have problems with Austin. Oh, but your problems, they've just begun. And the audacity. Do you think you can actually eliminate me with an Inferno Match? Don't you realize there's some flames that can't be extinguished? And the Lord of Darkness is one of them. Soon McMahon, you will realize that I am your worst nightmare. And by the way, tonight, I intend on showing you just how serious I am with my threat. Tonight, if you like, you can even call it a surprise. McMahon, the World Wrestling Federation will be mine.

=== March 22 ===
:''[Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and the Rock have just been given a beer bath by Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[seeing Vince totally drenched]'' Look at Mr McMahon. That's a $3,000 suit!
:'''Michael Cole''': It ''was'' a $3,000 suit!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Billy Gunn''': Tonight is the night when the New Age Outlaws see who is the best of the best. You see, it's called competitiveness, and that's what made the New Age Outlaws what they are today—the best tag team to ever step foot in the World Wrestling Federation. But tonight, Mr. Ass is walking out with the Intercontinental Title and the Hardcore Title. Sorry.
:'''Road Dogg''': Well, don't be sorry, because the D-O-double-G lives his life all or nothing, and tonight he's gonna walk away with A-double-L. So Mr. A-double-crooked-letter, I'll see your ass at ringside.
:'''Gunn''': ''[sotto voce]'' Yep, and you'll walk out with nothing like when I found you.

===April 26===

:''[Vince is asking Stone Cold Steve Austin to deliver the WWF's ownership papers personally to the Undertaker as ransom for Stephanie McMahon, but Austin is not quite convinced of his sincerity]''

:'''Vince McMahon''': I don't mean to interrupt, but, I guess maybe I do. This is not easy for me, but...what I'm trying to say...to make a long story short, I need your help.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': You said— You said what? You need my help? Is that what you said?
:'''Vince McMahon''': I need your help. The Undertaker has my daughter, Stephanie, and I need your help.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': You got to clear this up exactly for me. What are you trying to say? Just go ahead and say something, 'cause you ain't making no sense.
:'''Vince McMahon''': Well...this isn't— It's not anything personal. I know that you don't like me and I know you never will.

:''[Austin nods in agreement mouthing 'Right!']''

:'''Vince McMahon''': And the feeling is somewhat mutual, but...it's not about you and me. This is personal and it involves my daughter Stephanie. And Steve, you can help me.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': With all due respect, to you and your little daughter— Hell, son, I've got a million problems of my own. So as far as I'm concerned, I really don't give a rat's ass about your problems.
:'''Vince McMahon''': But Steve, The Undertaker has made...he's made some demands. He's asked for some documentation and that's all right with me, I don't care about the documentation. But he's made ''other'' demands. He's demanded that, instead of me delivering the documentation to him, he's demanded that ''you'' deliver that documentation to him, and if you do that I really believe that everything will be fine with my daughter Stephanie, and I think you can understand from my point of view as a father.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': What you're saying is— What you're saying is Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin! That's what you're saying?

:''[Vince nods sheepishly]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': So if that's true...if that is true that Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin, then that's what I want you to say to me. Say it to me: &quot;Vince McMahon ''needs'' Stone Cold Steve Austin.&quot;
:'''Vince McMahon''': Vince McMahon ''needs'' Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': That all sounds real good Vince, but hell, you must think that I have a real horrible memory because the last ''15 months'', every single night I come to work, you see fit to put my life, make my life a living hell, and I will give you credit, you have done one helluva job.

:''[Vince is dejected]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Stone Cold Steve Austin never forgets one single thing that happens right here in the World Wrestling Federation. So...since Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin, I'll say this. By the same token, Stone Cold Steve Austin ''needs'' Vince McMahon... 

:''[Vince seems optimistic]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': ...''to kiss his ass'', and that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!!

:''[a saddened Vince walks away]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[the Ministry of Darkness prepares Stephanie McMahon to be married to the Undertaker - even as she screams away and the Undertaker touches her]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Dearly unbeloved, we gather here this evening to join Stephanie Marie McMahon, in the unholy wedlock with the Lord of Darkness. Tonight, Stephanie Marie McMahon will step from the light of this evil, cesspool, mortal world, into the sanctuary of eternal darkness. Keeping this in mind, will you, Stephanie Marie McMahon accept the purity of evil and take the Lord of Darkness as your master and your spouse?
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': No! NOOO!!!
:''[Ken Shamrock tries to get in but the Acolytes hold him down to be squashed by Viscera]''
:'''Bearer''': Lord of Darkness, is it your intent to accept Stephanie Marie McMahon, her body, her mind, her soul, and even her breath unto yourself, ''[Taker lightly reaches for her neck]'' and allow her to bear your offspring?
:'''Stephanie''': NOOO!!!!
:'''Undertaker''': I do. 
:''[the Big Show appears and breaks through the Acolytes and Viscera - but Undertaker gets Shamrock's baseball bat and hits him off the ring]''
:'''Bearer''': By the power vested in me by the Lord of Darkness, I now pronounce you as the Unholy Union of Darkness. You may now kiss your bride!

=== May 24 (RAW Is Owen) ===

:'''The Godfather''': You know what, Road Dogg? Instead of me and you just kicking the hell out of each other, especially today, why don't me and you and these fine hos over here...we go to downtown St. Louis and we light it up all night long?
:'''Road Dogg''': What do you say, me and you go burn one and tell some Owen stories.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Billy Gunn''': If you're not down with Owen Hart, I got two words for ya...
:'''Crowd''': SUCK IT!

=== June 7 ===
:''[During Undertaker's WWF Championship defense against the Big Show, Taker is caught in Big Show's chokeslam coming off the top rope]''
:'''Jim Ross''': The Undertaker's on top, he got caught at the hand of the Big Show.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[as Big Show signals for the chokeslam]'' He said he was gonna do it- he's doing it!! 
:'''Ross''': The chokeslam, ''[Undertaker breaks through the ring]'' oh- 
:'''Lawler''' and '''Ross''': OH MY GOD!!!
:'''Ross''': Right through the ring!! The Big Show chokeslammed the Undertaker all the way to hell! 
:'''Lawler''': What?
:'''Ross''': ''[as Earl Hebner calls for the bell]'' All the way through the ring! They're both down!!! The Big Show and the Undertaker are both down! ''[bell still rings as Big Show kicks Undertaker before leaving the hole]'' The match is over! The match has been stopped!
:'''Lawler''': What?
:'''Ross''': The ring has been destroyed...
:'''Lawler''': Look at that!
:'''Ross''': ...by the damndest chokeslam I've ever seen!

=== August 9 ===

:'''Chris Jericho''': Welcome to ''Raw Is Jericho''! And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Chris Jericho, your new hero, your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who DO know me, well, all hail the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-a! 
:Now when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era. In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF. Thank you, thank you. And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trend-setting program has now deteriorated into a cliched, let's be honest, boring snoozefest that is in dire need of a knight in shining armor, and that's why I'm here. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF!
:Now let's go over the facts. Television ratings, downward spiral; pay-per-view buy-rates, plummeting; mainstream acceptance, non-existent; and reactions of the live crowds, complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent! You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre &quot;sports entertainers&quot; who you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering! You could care less about every single idiot in that dressing room, ''[indicating The Rock]'' and especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh. Jericho is excellence. And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy fat little hands in the air and scream &quot;Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go!&quot; Thank you.
:The new millennium has arrived in the WWF, and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company—from the front-office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one, to everybody watching tonight—will never, eeee-ee-eh-ever be the same a-gain!
:'''The Rock''': ...After three boring minutes, The Rock says, ''&quot;Know Your Role, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!&quot;'' How dare you little jabroni come on The Rock Show, and not even have the class to introduce yourself. What is your name?
:'''Chris Jericho''': I told you--
:'''The Rock''': ''IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'' The Rock says you talk about your Y2J plan? Well, The Rock has a plan of his own, and it's called the K-Y Jelly plan. Which...which means The Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good. Turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK it straight up your candy ass! If you smelllll...what The Rock...is cooking.

=== August 23 ===

:''[Outside Jeff Jarrett's locker room, where a contract for an Intercontinental Title match is taped to the door]''
:'''Billy Gunn''': Chyna, I need a favor. You got a pen? I need a pen.
:'''Chyna''': I don't have one.
:'''Billy Gunn''': All right, come here. Stay right here, don't let anybody sign this, I'll be right back, I've gotta find a pen.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[as Billy walks away]'' Hey, that...that must be Jeff Jarrett's contract.
:'''Chyna''': Okay.
:'''Jerry''': Looks like Mr. Ass wants a piece of Jeff Jarrett, he wants to sign that contract.
:'''Michael Cole''': Look! Chyna's got a pen!
:'''Jerry''': What's she doing?!
:''' Cole''': ''[as Chyna signs and runs away]'' She's signing the open contract to meet Jeff Jarrett for the Intercontinental Championship!

=== September 20===

:'''Bradshaw''': You know, these Dudley Boys come into the World Wrestling Federation trying to make a name out of themselves by taking on us. You know, they come out here and they spout their commandments. Well, we got three commandments too, it's real simple. #1—Thou shalt not drink our beer; #2—Thou shalt not mess with our [[w:Groupie|rats]]; and #3—I guess [[w:The Public Enemy (professional wrestling)|Public Enemy]] didn't tell them, Thou shalt not cut a promo on the Acolytes!

===December 20===
:''[Val Venis is in the ring for his Holiday Topless Top Rope match against Hardcore Holly]''
:'''Val Venis''': Hello Ladies!! You know something, ladies, you are a lot like Christmas trees. You know, you smell good. You're pretty to look at, but you never really feel special until I ''[makes thrusting motion]'' PLUG IT IN and light you up!

== 2000 ==
===January 24===
:''[Triple H and Stephanie gloat over him defeating Cactus Jack at the Royal Rumble, but Big Show complains to them about the Rock's cheating him out of the finish of the Royal Rumble, which would have gained him a WWF Championship match against HHH at Wrestlemania]''
:'''Triple H''': Show me the proof and it's yours. ''[The Rock entrance music kicks in and he appears]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, the Rock has come back to Philadelphia! Triple H, the Rock says this - seeing as he just won the Royal Rumble, it officially makes your days as the WWF Champion, numbered. Translation, at WrestleMania, the Rock is just gon' kick your monkey ass. ''[to Big Show as crowd chants &quot;Rocky!&quot;]'' Now, onto you. Seven feet, five hundred pounds of whinin' bitchin' moanin' ''[mock whining]'' 'Oh the Rock's feet touched the ground first ''[normal voice]'' well the Rock says it doesn't MATTER if the Rock's feet touched the ground first! The Rock says this, it doesn't matter if the Rock's feet touched the ground, it doesn't matter where the Rock's feet touched, the ground, the mat, or straight up your big fat candyass! This ain't the NFL - there is no instant replay - the only thing that matters RIGHT NOW is the Rock has won the Royal Rumble, the Rock is going to WrestleMania, and the Rock stands before ''[points at the people in the ring]'' you, and you, and even you - the People's Champion.
:'''Triple H''': You know, Show, seems that uh, you and I seem to have a little common problem. To be that jackass up there with the big ego - seems to be a common thorn on our sides. So I'll tell ya what - tonight - you and I, we're gonna team up and we're gonna get in the ring... against the Rock and a partner of your choosing. That is, if - you can go in the back and find one of those - what do you call 'em, Rock, jabronies? - that you like to put down so much. If you can get one of those jabronies to pal up with you, be your friend, and tag with you, then you got yourself a deal. If not, if one of those jabronies WON'T tag with you, then ''[to Big Show]'' you and I we're gonna have ourselves a little handicap match with the Rock.
:'''The Rock''': Well, the Rock says this - if there is someone in the back who wants to team with the Rock, then that's fine... the Rock doesn't need it, the Rock doesn't want it. The Rock says this, against you and you, two-on-one against the Great One means this, is one way or the other, come hell or high water, bet your candyasses you will smell what the Rock is ''[points to them]'' cookin'.

===January 31===
:''[JR and the King talk about the tag team championship match between Al Snow and Steve Blackman against the New Age Outlaws, but JR notices Al Snow going down to one section of the front row]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[sees Snow greet some people who just came down]'' Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute! My God, that's... that's Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What are they doing here tonight?
:'''Jim''': What the hell is going on here? Those four guys... Well, King, we know it's all over the Internet they thumbed their noses at their last employer!
:'''Jerry''': Well, I know that. They walked out on that Ted Turner organization, but what are they doing here?
:'''Jim''': I know the WWF's been negotiating with those four superstars, but they've not signed any contracts that I'm aware of.
:'''Jerry''': Well, they haven't signed any contracts yet, so maybe they're just here to... They're just sitting at ringside, maybe they're here to get a bird'ss-eye view of the competition.
:'''Jim''': Well, all I'd say that's a pretty radical strategy on their part, wouldn't you think? It was radical enough that they walked out on their last employer because it was a lousy place to be, in their opinion.
:'''Jerry''': Well that was...
:'''Jim''': ...and showing up here unannounced is nothing short of radical either.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The Rock is on the TitanTron after Big Show just defeated 2Cool]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, the Rock has come BACK to Pittsburgh! Big Show, The Rock realizes what just took place, The Rock realizes that you won a hard-fought victory, well congratulations, but The Rock has but one thing to say to you: ''[singsong]'' somebody got a haircut!! ''[Big Show angrily stomps his feet]'' So that officially means Big Show that you're no longer a long-haired, seven-feet, 500-pound piece of monkey crap, no you are not. You are a SHORT-HAIRED seven-feet, 500-pound piece of steaming, stinking, grade-A monkey crap!!! Now Big Show, you want to run your month about how you've got an eyewitness to The Rock's feet hitting the ground at the Royal Rumble, well The Rock says this: He is tired of hearing you whine. The Rock is tired of hearing you bitch, the Rock is tired of hearing you cry and moan like a baby but there is something that the Rock wants ''[open palm and points at Big Show]'' you to listen to... and that is the most important sound you will ever hear in your pathetic life, and that is all the Rock's fans chanting his name! ''[audience responds with Rocky! chants]'' Now Big Show, seeing as you've heard the sound, The Rock says, go back to [[w:Supercuts|Supercuts]] and get your five dollars back, jabroni!! Now on to our Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle the Rock says this you run your mouth about how you beat the Rock. The Rock says you have never - and The Rock means ''[audience joins for the word]'' NEVER!! Ever beaten the Rock, so the Rock says this quite simply put, the Rock says that tonight, you like to wear your gold medals, well the Rock says this, he's gonna go out there and win a gold medal for kicking your candy ass all over Pittsburgh! If you SMEEEELLLLL, What the Rock is Cooking!

===February 7===
:''[Cactus Jack faces Triple H and proposes a Hell in the Cell at No Way Out]''
:'''Triple H''': Hell in the Cell? All right - Hell in the Cell, you got a deal - but one stipulation.
:'''Cactus Jack''': You name it.
:'''Triple H''': I will go through Hell in the Cell with you - BUT I WANT YOUR CAREER ON THE LINE. If I beat you at Hell in the Cell, you are finished. You retire. Your career is over, and that means YOU, Mick Foley, which includes Dude Love, which includes Mankind, which includes Cactus Jack - you are finished - you are done - it is OVER.
:'''Cactus Jack''': So you want my career - you want my career! Well, let's talk about my career for just a minute. You know what I have done, Triple H, in my career? I have done it all! Three-time WWF Champion - eight times WWF tag team champion! The original Hardcore Champion! And the King of the Japanese Death Match! So I tell you once again Triple H - you want my career? I have done it all except for one thing - in 15 years that I have dedicated my life to this sport there is only one thing that keeps me awake at night and that is - I have never main-evented a WrestleMania in my life. So you want my career? I'm going to add one more stipulation... if I win - when I win - at Hell in the Cell - you put your title on the line, because if I can't beat you, I don't deserve - no no no, if I can't beat you, I do not WANT to ever wrestling again! But when I do, you look at me and make damn sure you understand - there will be no ridiculous stipulations - no title defenses - that's it! I win! I go to WrestleMania - and you sit home - I WIN - I take on the winner of the Big Show and the Rock... in the greatest show in our industry. You accept my stipulation, then you're damn right, I will put my entire 15-year career on the line.
:'''Triple H''': Cactus Jack, at No Way Out - Hell in the Cell - you will face The Game. And if you win, you will go to WrestleMania the World Wrestling Federation champion - the main event. But if I win, I will end your 15-year career. I will end your career, and it will be over. Cactus Jack, you have... 20, about 20 days - left in your glorious 15-year career - because at Hell in the Cell, I will finish what I've started. At Hell in the Cell, Cactus Jack, I will end it - for you. But Cactus - I take what I want, when I want it - and right now, I want a piece o' your ass. ''[Triple H come to the ring and addresses the Radicalz]'' Now, the four of you have got two choices - you can either get your asses out of this ring and save yourselves a beatin', or you can show your appreciation to the man that gave you the opportunity... to the man that gave you your contracts. ''[the Radicalz assault Cactus Jack. X-Pac does a Bronco Buster and Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko suplex Cactus as a setup for Chris Benoit's diving headbutt]'' Cactus - that is the beginning of the end. Twenty days, count them, relish them - because in 20 days - it is The End! ''[pedigrees Cactus]''

===April 17===
:'''Chris Jericho''': ''[to Triple H]'' So you're telling me, Triple H, that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because that match never took place? You're telling me that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because these Jericho-holics never saw me beat you in the middle of that ring for this championship? Well, I guess we can all believe that. So I guess it's also not true that your wife Stephanie has not slept with half the boys in that locker room. ''[Stephanie coldly glares at him]'' I guess that we can't believe that either.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Earl Hebner has reversed Chris Jericho's pinfall win over Triple H and gave him back the WWF Championship per an agreement on Triple H never laying a hand on him while he's still a referee]''
:'''Triple H''': I'm a man of my word, Earl. I will not lay a hand on you as long as you're a World Wrestling Federation referee. Oh and by the way: YOUR ASS IS FIRED! ''[does the Pedigree on Earl]'' 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[the McMahon-Helmsley Regime goes to the ring after Linda McMahon announces Stone Cold Steve Austin coming to Backlash]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley''': Unfair, mom? You wanna know what's unfair is you hopping on a little plane... ''[angry at Slut! chants]'' hopping on a little plane, thinkging you can come down to this ring, to the World Wrestling Federatiton and start making decisions on things you know nothing about!
:'''Linda McMahon''': Oh yes I do, yes I can!
:'''Stephanie''':  In case you haven't forgotten the last we were in the ring together, mother, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime has no problem &quot;slapping&quot; people around, and hopefully you've noticed that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime is all about opportunity - so I'm gonna give you the opportunity to change your mind. Think about it, mother. What's your decision?
:'''Linda''': ''[long pause]'' NO!!!
:'''Stephanie''': No. You won't change your mind. You're gonna have Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Rock's corner. Well then, I'm not gonna change my mind about what I have to do, but Mom, just remember, like you told me when I was a little girl, this is gonna hurt me a lot worse than it hurts you. ''[tries to slap Linda, but gets knocked down when Linda blocks it and slaps her instead]''
:'''Linda''': ''[shocked at what she just did, tries to crouch down and help Stephanie]'' Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
:'''Stephanie''': ''[dismisses her]'' Get away from me!!

===June 12===
:''[WWF CEO Linda McMahon has set up a six-man King of the Ring tagteam match between Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Triple H against the Rock, Undertaker, and Kane. Vince fumes at the booking]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': We accept, we accept! You think you're gonna embarrass me?!? Huh?!?! You think you can come out here and put me in a position where you're gonna embarrass me in front of all these people, that's not gonna happen! I don't give a damn what match you make at the King of the Ring, I don't care what match you make tonight, tomorrow night, or any other night!
:'''Linda McMahon''': Well, if that's the case, Vince, how about tonight? ''[let's sink in]'' If that's the case yeah, Triple H, you'll defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship... ''[as HHH seethes]'' against an opponent of my choosing.
:'''Vince''': ''[brushes off HHH's protests]'' That's it? You got it! Triple HHH defends his WWF title tonight, and okay he doesn't know who his opponent is. Even so, he'll do it even it's not fair and ''[points at her]'' you know damn well it's not!
:'''Linda''': Not fair? Well, if you don't think that's fair, you're probably not gonna like this either. Because there's another championship that needs to be defended tonight- and that championship is yours, Stephanie. ''[Stephanie reacts]'' Come on, Steph, you will defend the World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship against Lita ''[Steph mouths off NO!]'' - and pay very close attention to this, this is the stipulation: If any member of the Faction interferes in the match at all, you will be disqualified and Lita will be awarded the Championship.
:'''Vince''': ''[ponders the logic in the announcement]'' All right you got that too, I'm happy. Now you've made your announcements, Little Ms CEO, you can go back to playing CEO somewhere else, maybe where you started your day this morning in Wilmington, Delaware. ''[tries to walk off with Shane, Stephanie, and HHH]''
:'''Linda''': Whoawhoawhoawhoa, Vince. ''[they look back at him]'' I don't play the CEO, ''I am the CEO.'' and as the CEO, I'll make this one final announcement tonight. Tonight, Shane McMahon will see action and also tonight, Vince McMahon will see action. And both Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon will team up in tag-team action against... the Dudley Boyz! ''[Father and son are dumbfounded]'' But it's not just any tag-team match. It's a Tables Match! ''[Shane walks off in disgust while Steph comforts a grimacing Vince]''

=== October 2 ===
:''[The Rock slams Kane and Chris Benoit as they and Kurt Angle leave him, Rikishi, Mick Foley, Triple H and Stephanie]''
:'''Rock''': Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. The Rock is not done. You see, Mick Foley, the Rock is in a very giving mood as well. Now Kane, since you just wanna find things... Benoit, all you wanna do is prove things. Well, the Rock is gonna make both of you very happy men tonight. You see, before you and Kane face the Rock and Rikishi, the Rock wants you to do this - the Rock wants you to go find a very quiet place tonight. You two together, nobody else, you two by yourselves, go find a nice quiet place where you can be alone. And all your dreams can come true. All your dreams can come true - your dream, Kane, of finding things - your dream, Benoit, of proving things will come true, and this is how you do it: Benoit, when you're by yourself with Kane, pull your pants down ''[Benoit is blocked by the referees from coming down to the ring]'' go ahead Benoit, pull your pants down, and ''prove'' to Kane that you're not a woman!... and Kane, since you just wanna ''find'' things, you go ahead and find the penis Benoit claims he has! ''[Kane tries to go after the Rock, but the referees hold the line against him and Benoit]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Triple H just asked Stephanie to steer clear of his WWF Championship No 1 contender match against Kurt Angle, but as Stephanie walks away, she surprisingly runs into Chris Benoit]''
:'''Chris Benoit''': How's your head? ''[Stephanie gives him a hard slap]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Whoa! ''[Benoit turns his head right but he snaps back like not feeling the pain]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Good God! ''[sees Benoit laughing as Steph walks away]'' and Benoit's smiling... oh my God!

===October 9===
:''[Mick Foley is with the Rock and Rikishi in the ring]''
:'''Mick Foley''': I've come out here in the past, I made wild accusations, but that’s not going to happen tonight. I promised to deliver the person, who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I will! Fortunately, my announcement will conclude what has undoubtedly been the worst week of my professional career. Unfortunately, all of the evidence points to you, Rock. It was your rental car that ran down Stone Cold, only your fingerprints, only your DNA were found inside the car. Hell, a pair of The Rock's sunglasses were found inside the glove box. And as Linda McMahon herself stated, no one else had as much to gain by Stone Cold's departure, did they, Rock? No, with Stone Cold out of the way, who sold the T-shirts, who picked up the media appearences, whose book went to number one, who showed up on television, who got movie roles? You have not fooled me, Rock, and therefore right here in Anaheim, California, in the case of who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series, Mick Foley finds The Rock... not guilty!

:But if you didn't do it, who did? Now I'm gonna tell you, who did. ''[points to Rikishi]'' He did. I hadn't quite figured it out until Scotty 2 Hotty said something about 'hang out backstage with Rikishi', hell, Rikishi, you weren't even part of Survivor Series, you hadn't even debuted on television! Who else is close enough with The Rock to go inside his dressing room? ''[Rikishi shakes head in denial]'' Who else is close enough with The Rock to reach inside his bag and get his keys? The mirrors and the seat were configured to fit not just a large man, but a very large man. That very large man is YOU! The only thing, I don't know, is why!
:'''Rikishi''': Okay. I did it. In case, you didn't hear, I admit. I did it. I ran over Austin. And you ask, why? I didn't do it for me. No, I didn't do it for me. I did it for... The Rock! ''[The Rock is surprised]'' You see, Rock, I took your keys out of your bag that night, when I went to go check into the hotel. And when I jumped into the car, I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin standing in the middle of the parking lot all alone. And suddenly, everything flashed right through my eyes.

:You see, the WWF has always been all about the &quot;Great White Hope&quot;... and I'm talking about such people as [[w:Buddy Rogers|Buddy Rogers]], people like [[w:Bruno Sammartino|Bruno Sammartino]], people like [[w:Bob Backlund|Bob Backlund]], people like [[w:Hulk Hogan|Hulk Hogan]], and now, people like [[w:Stone Cold Steve Austin|Stone Cold Steve Austin]]. You see, the WWF has always let the island boys in, but we were always held back! Now listen to me, Rock, and I really want you to listen to me! And I'm talking about people like your grandfather, a well-respected man, High Chief [[w:Peter Maivia|Peter Maivia]], ''[Rock is visibly shaken at the mention]'' could have became a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! People like [[w:Jimmy_Snuka|Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka]], could have been a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! And people like [[w:The_Wild_Samoans|Afa and Sika]], [[w:Samula_Anoaʻi|Samu]], and the [[w:Sam Fatu|Tonga Kid]], they were all held back.

:So you see, Rock, I ran Stone Cold over, and I did this for you. I don't expect any favor from you, Rock. No, I don't expect no favors and no payback. Before, I want you people to know all around the world, and set the record straight, that The Rock did not have a damn thing to do with this. I take full responsibility! And you know what, Rock, just you being who you are today is good enough for me and our people. And before I go, one more time, I ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin! And to tell the truth, ''I'd do it again!''

=== October 23 ===
:'''Kurt Angle''': People, I ask you, what do you consider to be a successful year? For most people, a successful year would be maybe earning a little extra money, or getting a promotion, or maybe spending a little extra time with your families and loved ones. With all respect, that's a bunch of garbage. It's true, it's true. I know that people have obstacles to overcome in their lives. For most people, it's overcoming poverty; for some people, it's overcoming impossible odds, like having accomplished something in your life, being born in a city like Hartford, Connecticut. ''[Shakes Stephanie's hand]'' Good job, Steph. Good job. For me, it was accomplishing more in one year than most people will ever accomplish in their whole entire lives.
:Let me take you on a little trip. A pictorial journey, if you will. See, four years ago, I captured the Olympic Gold Medal in the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, Georgia. For most people, after capturing the Olympic Gold Medal, they would call it a career. It's over, done. Thankfully, I'm not most people, and that is true. Four years later, I decided to give it a shot and enter the World Wrestling Federation. &quot;The most celebrated athlete in the World Wrestling Federation,&quot; the headlines screamed, and boy, were they on the money!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' ASSHOLE!
:'''Kurt Angle''': ''[to the crowd]'' Would you keep it down for a second please?
:A mere two months in the WWF, and I captured my first gold by winning the European Championship. And incredibly, here's the footage, incredibly, tourism grew in Europe 38% from me! Then, only two months later, two months later, I captured the Intercontinental Championship, in this very city, mind you! And I became the first ever EuroContinental Champion in WWF history. Well, besides D'Lo Brown, but he doesn't count, we know that.
:Then four months later, four months later, I not only captured gold, but royalty as well when I was crowned the 2000 King of the Ring. What a memory. Look at that, Steph. Look at that crown and that scepter. And unbelievably, sales of crowns and scepters grew 49%! I couldn't believe it either.
:And then last night, the greatest accomplishment of all, with help from my good friend and business partner, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, I topped the most amazing eleven months in WWF history and became the World Wrestling Federation Champion. We will remember that for a lifetime. ''That'', people, is a successful year. That is what separates great men from supermen. With that in mind, I wrote a little poem in celebration of my victory. The poem is called &quot;What Makes a Man Super-Great&quot;, and I'd like to read it to you tonight.
:Greatness comes in many shapes
:Beyond red, white and blue.
:It's the addition of the color gold.
:Yes, indeed, it's true.

===December 4===
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very first time, Kevin Kelly, The Rock stood here right in this arena and called ''[points at]'' you an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday night, at Armageddon, The Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. This is gonna the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerousest match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, or Rage in a Cage, Painus in Uranus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title.

:And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, ''[mocks Angle]'' &quot;I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate-chip cookies and then maybe I'll take three Viagra.&quot; Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. ''[mimics Rikishi's admission]'' &quot;I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for...&quot; oh, shut your mouth, you thong-wearin' fatty!

:Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... ''[does rising from the dead]'' &quot;Rest in peace!&quot; Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which ''[copies HHH drawl]''' means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two-dollar slut for a wife-uh! ''[normal voice]'' Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat... ''[wears SCSA woodland camo cap and makes Texan drawl]'' Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get in my, I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-weisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! ''[normal]'' One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell... what The Rock is cooking!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon wanted to deliver the State of the WWF Address, but gets sprawled on the ring thanks to Austin, The Rock, and the Undertaker]''
:'''Mick Foley''': ''[crouches down at Vince]'' Vince... jeez, not a good day isn't it? I mean, you've been Stone Cold Stunnered, you've been Rock Bottomed, hell you even went for the Last Ride! So I guess, there's really only one thing left to do. ''[pulls out Mr Socko and goes around the ring before going down on one knee. mouths off Mr Socko in tinny voice]'' Kiss my fat ass, Vince ''[normal voice]'' and have a nice day!

===December 18===
:''[Stephanie steps in to stop Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and Vince McMahon from beating down Commissioner Mick Foley]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley''': Stop! Stop it! Stop beating up on Mick Foley. Mick I hope you're alright because I got something that could change your life forever. I hold in my hand documents from the Board of Directors that could very well change the face of the WWF forever. These papers clearnly state that since my mother, Linda McMahon, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, has been deemed mentally incompetent that the Board of Directors has no other alternative than to grant full power and authority of the CEO's office... ''[looks at Foley]'' to ''[changes voice] my dad! [Vince's face regains color as Stephanie give her the papers]'' Congratulations, daddy! It's official! 
:'''Vince McMahon''': That's my baby girl, huh! Sorry, Linda, if you're in the hospital watching, business is business and since I now have complete and total full authority over the World Wrestling Federation, that means Mr McMahon is back! So therefore, with the power that is invested in me, Vincent K McMahon, it is my duty to inform Mick Foley that his services are no longer required. ''[motions to Foley as he slumps in the corner]'' In other words, Mick Foley, you bleeding huck of adipose tissue, YOU'RE FIRED!! 
:''[A distraught Foley stands up but Kurt Angle fires a chairshot at him. Vince shakes hands with Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and leaves with Stephanie, but remembers something at the stage]''
:'''Vince''': Oh, oh, and uh, just one other thing. Mick, Mick Foley... Merry Christmas!

== 2001 ==
=== March 5 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': Hello again, everybody, and welcome to the World Wrestling Federation. We're live here in D.C., I'm Jim Ross, and...
:'''Paul Heyman''': They already know who you are, so tell them who I am now.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'm joined by Paul Heyman.
:'''Paul Heyman''': You're joined by Paul Heyman, because last Tuesday night, The Kat was released by the WWF, and her husband Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler, to his credit, walked out right alongside with her. But where there's chaos, J.R., there is opportunity. And tonight, just like TNN threw off ECW for the WWF, the King is gone, and in his chair is Paul E., and the E is for '''EXTREME'''! How's that? Not bad, huh?
:'''Jim Ross''': I don't know what I did to deserve this...

=== March 26 ===
:''[cold opening]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[points to monitors]'' Well now here's the WWF, and here's WCW, there's Jeff Jarrett, and here we have the owner of the World Wrestling Federation - and now the owner of WCW. That's right, I, Vince McMahon, I have purchased - I own, my own competition and tonight, I have the ability to address WWF fans as to what this means. I have the ability to address WCW stars as to what this means to them, and yes, I have the ability to address WCW fans to what this actually means to them as well. Tonight, at the right time, there will be a special simulcast, and let me say for sure, ''[puts up index finger]'' one man will make history, ''[thumbs up at himself]'' and that's me. Vince McMahon. Now, as far as the Jeff Jarretts of the world are concerned, you know how Jeff spells his name &quot;that's J-E-double-F&quot;? Well, you know what hmm I would suspect that we'd spell it a different way after tonight, that would be &quot;capital G, double-O, double-N, double-E... GONE&quot;!  
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[as Vince McMahon comes down for the special simulcast with Nitro]'' They say that [[Alexander the Great]] sat down on a rock and cried, for he had no worlds left to conquer. Tonight, the [[w:Monday Night Wars|Monday Night Wars]] are over, and the victor, the victor of the Monday Night Wars is clear, it's ''[refers to Vince as he just instructed Lillian Garcia to repeat her introduction of him]'' that man.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon gloats over him buying WCW... but Shane appears, revealing that he's over at the [[WCW Monday Nitro|WCW Nitro]] finale]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': What's up Vince? Surprise Dad, you're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'm here in Panama City Beach, Florida, standing in a WCW ring and as usual Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. Your ego has gotten the best of you. I mean, Dad, you wanted to have the audacity to finalize this deal - WCW - at WrestleMania? You wanted to have the audacity to ask Ted Turner himself to come down and finalize that deal? Well, Dad, that's just the opportunity that I was looking for, because Dad, the deal is finalized with WCW and the name on the contract does say &quot;McMahon.&quot; ''[WCW fans pop and Vince gulps]'' However, the contract reads, &quot;Shane McMahon.&quot;
:''[Vince is openmouthed]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[on commentary]'' Oh my God! I don't believe it!
:'''Shane''': That's right, Dad, I now own WCW! And Dad, just like WCW did in the past--[[w:Monday Night Wars#1996–1997:_WWF_struggles|how it kicked your ass in the past]] and it will again. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you this Sunday, at WrestleMania!
:'''Jim''': I can't believe what we have just heard! Shane McMahon has bought WCW! And Mr. McMahon is in absolute shock!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon calls his lawyers and makes his rage known over how Shane swept in for the WCW sale]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Do you attorneys just SHUT UP?!?! You listen to me, dammit! Look I don't care what I said, I don't give a damn what - how could you let that happen? How could you just ''[smashes glass]'' how could you possibly let that happen?!?! HUH?? You son of a bitch! You good for nothing! You ruined this whole damned thing!

=== June 18 ===
:'''Diamond Dallas Page''': Undertaker! Like the Diamond Cutter, you never saw it comin'! Now those of you who know me are asking yourself the question why? Why did I, why did Diamond Dallas Page go after the Undertaker like this? Well I'll tell ya. I'll tell ya exactly why. Because if you wanna make an impact in this business, you go after the biggest, the meanest, the baddest dog in the yard. And once you find that dog, if you wanna get the very best of him, you make it personal - ''real'' personal. And then, hey, you find that dog's weakness. Well Taker, you are obviously that dog. And you've been telling people for years that this ring, right here, is your yard. We'll see.
:But, up to a few weeks ago, Taker, you have never shown weakness. I mean, NEVER shown weakness. That is, up until a few weeks ago when you told Stone Cold Steve Austin that if he ever, ever messed with your family, you'd make him famous. Duh! Taker, you idiot, Stone Cold Steve Austin's already famous! But it did get me to thinkin'. Good God. When you said what you said about your family, Dead Man, you didn't sound so dead - as a matter of fact, you sounded very ''alive.'' And for you, son, that's a sign of weakness. Taker, think about it. Remember when you used to say, &quot;I've slept through things that make most people's hair turn gray.&quot; Remember that? Okay, you didn't say it exactly LIKE that, but you remember that. You also said you weren't afraid of anything. FOUL! I'm gonna call you on that right now. Taker, I'm callin' you a liar! Oh yeah! Oh yeah I am. 'Cause take a look at him now - he's runnin' around his house, lockin' all the windows, lockin' the doors. I can just see him now, calling Vince McMahon this morning. &quot;Mr. McMahon, I can't possibly come in and compete tonight - I can't leave my wife Sara - there's a madman - there's a stalker trying to get to my wife Sara!&quot;
:You're scared to death! How's it feel, son? I tell you what, there is a positive side to this. Diamond Dallas Page has made your wife Sara famous. And speaking of famous, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, deserves to be more famous than the King of Ba-da-bing, the Master of the Diamond Cutter. NOBODY deserves to be more famous that ME: DDP! Because my whole life, I've wanted to be since I was eight years old, my whole life people have been tellin' me, until you've been to the shizzow, until you've been to the show, until you've been to the very top of our business, you're never really famous. So Taker, trust me, I'm using you to get the top of this business, and you can take it to the bank, whether I gotta buy a ticket or not, I will see you at King of the Ring. You gotta problem with me? Cool. Taker, I'm beggin' ya - make me FAMOUS!

=== June 25 ===
:'''Edge''': Billy (Gunn), since you're not really doing anything lately, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. If, in two years' time at the King of the Ring, I'm not defending a title or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please just shoot me in the head.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Al Snow''': ''[walking backstage]'' Did you see ''Tough Enough'' last Thursday?
:'''Hardcore Holly''': As a matter of fact, I did, and Al, you did a great job, even though I should've been there to help.
:'''Al Snow''': I couldn't agree more...hey, what...what's going on here?
:''[They walk up to find several wrestlers around the APA table.]''
:'''Faarooq''': Hey, guys, guys, listen up. WCW, now here's a company that, when you came knocking, that wouldn't answer their door for you; here's a company that wouldn't return your phone calls; here's a company that said ''you'' wasn't [''sic''] talented enough to work for them. Then all of the sudden, when the wells run dry and they have to pay for those million and a half dollar homes and those brand new BMWs, those brand new Mercedes, they come running their asses here for us to save 'em. Well, guess what. This is the WWF. We all helped build this house. Now all of the sudden, they want a piece of the pie? I say hell no.
:'''Bradshaw''': WCW wants to walk into ''our'' house, a house we built, a house you all built? You guys are on the World Wrestling Federation roster; it took some of you years to get here. But you're here now, and that means you're the best in the world at what you do. And now, these guys from WCW, because they couldn't make it on their own, want to come ridin' piggyback off of us 'cause we're the only show in town? Well, let's make this perfectly clear. Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, Mike Awesome, everybody from WCW, you can go straight to Hell. We'll meet your ass there, we'll kick it there too!
:Whatever you thought about us in the past, whatever you think about us now doesn't really matter. We've stood alone before. What I'm asking you is this. We're asking you to show why you're on this roster, we're asking you to stand up for what you have built. There's going to be a fight. I know there's gonna be a fight because ''we're'' gonna start it! There's gonna be some beer gettin' drunk, there's gonna be some asses gettin' kicked, but most of all, it's time we got medieval on somebody's ass!

===July 9===
:''[Vince McMahon is shocked at the WCW and ECW groups seemingly together and mauling the WWF group]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': Hey Dad, you want to know what is going on? Can't you see what is happening? I said I could never ever compete with your checkbook, but I can outsmart you and that's exactly what I've done tonight. That's exactly what we did tonight. You see Dad back in the locker room you told me that I will be personally responsible for everything that happens out here tonight. And you know what Dad, you're right. I'm personally responsible for all of this. I'm personally responsible for WCW. I am personally responsible for ECW being here tonight.
:'''Paul Heyman''': How do you like that Vince? HUH!? How do you like it now!?!?
:'''Shane''': And I am personally responsible for the MERGER of WCW and ECW coming together tonight! So, Dad, at InVasion, this new entity, WCW and ECW is gonna kick the WWF's ass! Oh yeah, I got one more thing for you, one more. And I am also personally responsible and privileged to introduce you to the new owner of ECW. I believe you know this person quite well. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up...for Vince's daughter Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley! ''[Vince reacts as Triple H's intro music &quot;My Time&quot; plays and slowly turns around to see Stephanie passing him]''
:'''Jim Ross''': The new owner of WCW. Oh my God, Shane owns WCW and the princess, Vince's little baby girl, now owns ECW. For the love of God, the sins of the father are costing us all in the WWF! I do not believe this! July 9, 2001 - a date that will live in sports entertainment infamy!

===July 16===
:''[The Alliance leaders are happy with Steve Austin walking out on Vince at the previous SmackDown! show]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': I'm so excited for Booker T to rip off Chris Jericho's head tonight and again this Sunday, at Invasion!
:'''Paul Heyman''': I love her enthusiasm ''[to Shane McMahon]'' Shane, think about it. This Sunday at Invasion Inaugural Brawl, it's our five best against their five best and their very best, Stone Cold Steve Austin, ain't at his best anymore now, is he?
:'''Shane McMahon''': Now let's get down to out five best that we're in agreement. ''[counts on fingers]'' Booker T.
:'''Heyman''': Right.
:'''Shane''': DDP...
:'''Heyman''': Right.
:'''Shane''': The Dudley Boyz, and Rhyno...
:'''Heyman''': GORE! GORE! GORE! ''[Stephanie is surprised]'' 
:'''Shane''': ...will represent us this Sunday. 
:'''Stephanie''': WCW and ECW.
:'''Shane''': This Sunday, sports entertainment as we know it, the course of it, will be changed forever.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince, the Undertaker, and the APA meet the entire WWF locker room]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': All right guys, listen up here for a minute, please.
:'''Faarooq''': Hey, hey. I'm sure y'all saw what happened here tonight. Look, they still don't damn get it. But you know what, tonight we're gonna show their asses that we mean business. ''[wrestlers murmur in assent]''
:'''Bradshaw''': These second-rate sons of bitches wanna ride piggyback offa us, 'cause they can't make it on their own? Then tell 'em to bring their little invasion on, because starting tonight, we ain't takin' this shit no more. It's TIME we got knee-deep in somebody's ass! ''[wrestlers get agitated]''
:'''McMahon''': Guys, let me just say this, that - make no mistake about what's going down here tonight - make no mistake about what's gonna happen this Sunday, 'cause no one in this room has ever been threatened personally...like you're threatened now. None of us have ever been threatened collectively like we're threatened now. This coalition of WCW and ECW - they wanna eat each and every one of you alive. They wanna do it tonight, and they wanna finish us off on Sunday. Now I was hoping that we were gonna have someone with us tonight to lead the way, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Undertaker''': To HELL with all that! I've heard all of that I'm gonna hear. What it's time for is to find out who the phony tough is and who's the crazy brave. Austin - he's made a hell of a name for himself here in the WWF, and now he don't have the heart to go out and to fight for the company that made him? I say the HELL with him! The rest of you, you need to understand this - there's no shame in goin' out and fightin' and gettin' your ass kicked. There's no honor in not fighting at all. So who wants to fight? ''[wrestlers murmur]'' WHO WANTS TO FIGHT??!? ''[wrestlers get agitated and Undertaker quiets them as a staff member brings in Freddie Blassie on a wheelchair]''
:'''Freddie Blassie''': Gentlemen, there comes a time when every man must fight for what he believes in! ''[rises from wheelchair]'' You understand? Now's the time! Get up, stand up, and fight! ''[wrestlers get louder]''
:'''Wrestlers''': Fight!! FIGHT!!!!
:''[at a bar, Austin is so unnerved by footage of the gathering that he moves balls around a pool table and smashes a cue before leaving]''
:'''Debra''': Steve! Where are you going??
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Classy Freddie Blassie leaves with an assistant, but Shane and Stephanie McMahon waylay them]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': Hey hold on a second, hold on a second, stay right there. You think what you said there had any impact at all?
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': Hey Freddie, you think that with Stone Cold Steve Austin just did out there, you think that had any impact? 
:'''Shane''': You think the WWF has any impact at all, any impact at all this Sunday on ECW and WCW? The answer is NO!!
:'''Stephanie''': ''[laughs]'' But I tell you what will have a lot of impact. You see Freddie, because you and the WWF have a lot in common. ''You're both about to die!'' 
:'''Shan''': ''[to assistant]'' Get him out of here. Go!

===August 27===
:''[The Rock appears after winning the WCW title]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to Grand Rapids! Shane McMahon, just so the Rock understands this: The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about history of the WCW title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and - woooooooooo! - Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The [[w:David Arquette|guy]] from ''Scream 2'', the dog from ''Married with Children'', the maid from ''The Jeffersons''! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets ''[makes finger-petting motion]'' a turn! 

===September 24===
:'''Michael Cole''': Last night at Unforgiven, you successfully defended your WCW title, but no rest for the weary, because tonight you will defend that title, yet again, this time against Rob Van Dam.
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to Columbus! ''[crowd cheers]'' You see, last night was a very special night for The Rock. Handicap match, The Rock, Booker T, Shane O'Mac, The Rock walked in to Unforgiven the WCW Champion, The Rock walked out Unforgiven the WCW Champion! ''[crowd cheers]'' But tonight is a very special night as well. You see, tonight will mark the first time, FIRST TIME, The Rock will defend his WCW title against Rob Van Dam. But that's not the only reason why tonight is a very special night. You see, on this night, 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself, came something so terrifying! So horrifying, it sends chills up and down men's bodies all over the world! Tonight marks the birth of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. And you know, Stephanie, a word of warning. The Rock knows that you like to get involved in all The Alliance matches. So if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, Stephanie, The Rock - ''[The Rock looks off-screen for several seconds as the crowd cheers]'' Stephanie if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, then just like the doctor did 25 years ago when he held your little baby body up and wiped all the afterbirth goo from your body, The Rock will take the back of the people's hand and slap that million dollar candy ass! ''[crowd cheers]'' But you see, Stephanie, don't get The Rock wrong, The Rock is happy it's your birthday. As a matter of fact, The Rock wants to help you celebrate this very joyous occasion. So Stephanie, allow The Rock to sing you a very special birthday song. ''[singsong]'' Happy Birthday to Steph, you're a hoe with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

=== October 29 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[after Vince McMahon knocks down his son, Shane, with a trash can]'': Can Vince make the cover? ''[suddenly Alliance members Booker T and Test come out to the ring to attack Vince]'' Wait a minute, there's...there's that damn Booker T and Test! Those bastards! ''[The Undertaker and Kane then arrive to even the odds]'' And Undertaker and Kane! Undertaker and Kane!
:'''Paul Heyman''': But whose side are they on?
:'''Jim''': They're not on Test and Booker T's side, that's for damn sure! Kane...on the outside, ''[Kane and Test knock each other down with kicks to the face]'' and both Kane and Test are down! The Undertaker, looking for a...spinaroonie, a little ride...''[Undertaker gives Booker T a Last Ride]'' ...a Last Ride! ''[William Regal then comes out and gives The Undertaker a low blow from behind]'' But there's - oh! - Alliance commissioner William Regal with a low blow! Coming from behind The Undertaker, ''[Regal then hits the Regal Cutter on The Undertaker]'' and Regal, taking The Undertaker down, and perhaps out of this equation. ''[the crowd cheers loudly as suddenly The Rock comes out to the ring and attacks Regal]'' And there's The Rock!
:'''Paul''': But whose side is he on?!
:'''Jim''': Team WWF! And The Rock, laying the smack down on Regal! ''[The Rock then gives Regal a Rock Bottom]'' And the Rock Bottom! The Rock Bottom! ''[out comes Stone Cold Steve Austin]'' Oh God! There's Austin!
:'''Paul''': I know what side he's on! It's Stone Cold, ''[Austin gives The Rock a Stone Cold Stunner]'' punishing The Rock!
:'''Jim''': Austin with a Stunner on The Rock!
:'''Paul''': Austin just stunned The Rock!
:''[now Kurt Angle comes out, with a steel chair in hand]''
:'''Jim''': And here comes Kurt Angle!
:'''Paul''': Whose side is HE on?!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Angle looks like he is about to hit Austin with the chair]'' Kurt Angle, the steel chair! Tear his head - ''[Chris Jericho runs into the ring, and Angle suddenly turns around and hits Jericho in the head with the chair instead]'' Oh no! Angle just nailed - Kurt Angle just hit Chris Jericho with the, right in the face with that steel chair! ''[The Rock gets back up from the Stunner, only for Angle to hit him in the head with the chair as well]'' Oh my God! My God, what is this?! ''[Angle then hits the Undertaker with the chair]'' Oh my God, don't tell me! ''[Kane gets back in the ring and Angle hits him with the chair as well]'' No! No! Kurt Angle! No!
:'''Paul''': It's Kurt Angle! Kurt Angle, has joined the Alliance!
:'''Jim''': My God, it can't be!
:'''Paul''': It is! It's true! It's true!
:''[Austin stands Vince up and hits him with a Stone Cold Stunner]''
:'''Jim''': Oh! Austin - got the Stunner on McMahon, who couldn't even stand to start with!
:'''Paul''': Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance, it's true, it's true!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Austin puts Shane on top of Vince]'': Oh no! That son of a - ''[as the referee successfully counts to three]'' No! No, dammit! ''[the bell rings]'' Oh, God! What has Kurt Angle done?
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here's your winner, Shane McMahon!
:'''Paul''': Shane McMahon has beaten his own father!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Shane and Austin embrace and then celebrate in the ring with Angle]'': Shane McMahon may have beat his father physically; he may have also just beat his father at his own game! For the love of God, Shane McMahon has coerced Kurt Angle to join the Alliance!
:'''Paul''': Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance! It's true! It's damn true!
:'''Jim''': Kurt Angle with an assault with a steel chair! Team WWF has gone to hell! My God, Kurt Angle has screwed us all and joined the damned Alliance!

=== November 19 ===
:''[Vince McMahon is not too pleased to see Ric Flair and demands an explanation]''
:'''Ric Flair''': The explanation that I'm gonna give you all revolves around the fact that I bet on a winner last night! Woooo!
:'''Vince McMahon''': What the hell are you talking about?
:'''Ric''': I sat home, wooo!! on the big side of town, in that big house, and I bet on a winner last night. But ''[to Kurt Angle]'' Kurt Angle, let me just say this to you. You're a man who's got an Olympic gold medal, you got a legacy, you're an ambassador, this is no way you want to win the World title. Be Kurt Angle, be the gold medal winner, and be a man that wins by beating the best man.
:'''Vince''': So you came down here 'cause its your hometown to give us your opinion. How nice, Mr Flair. Nice to see you, now goodbye.
:'''Ric''': You want, you want me to just cut it to the quick right away? I bet on a winner last night, and do you know, that when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock to that consortium, that the consortium... wooo!! ''[takes off coat, goes on rope, makes the strut, and swings off rope before going back to Vince]'' The consortium was '''me''', and now you and I, are limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheeling-dealin' son of a guns! You know why? Because we're partners! ''[embraces Vince briefly]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?!!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my god...Flair and McMahon are partners?!!?

== 2002 ==
===March 25===
:'''Linda McMahon''': Good evening. Tonight, we will witness the first-ever World Wrestling Federation draft. Vince McMahon will represent ''SmackDown!''. Ric Flair will represent ''Raw''. In the interest of time, only 20 picks will actually be made live tonight. A lottery will be held immediately following ''Raw'' on WWF.com to determine placement of all other World Wrestling Federation performers. The result of tonight's historic draft becomes effective on next week's ''Raw''. However, because of the Triple Threat WWF Championship match tonight, neither Triple H, Chris Jericho, nor Stephanie McMahon is eligible to be drafted. And due to a contractual clause, Stone Cold Steve Austin is not eligible to be drafted either. Mr. Austin is therefore declared a free agent, able to sign with either ''SmackDown!'' or ''Raw''. Thank you for your attention this evening and best of luck to all the World Wrestling Federation superstars.

=== July 1 ===
:''[Booker T chances upon Goldust]''
:'''Booker T''': Tell me you're not dressed like that. Man put that thing before you get somebody eye-witted. Who are you supposed to be tonight?
:'''Goldust''': ''[as Darth Vader, complete with breathing. touches Booker T]'' Booker, the Force is strong with you, but you are not a Jedi yet. 
:'''Booker T''': Look man, I don't know what you're talking about, but I ain't no Star Wars geek. I ain't watched a movie and never will. 
:'''Goldust''': ''[removes helmet]'' Booker, it's not about that. It's about last week and our splendid plan. It's about me concocting another marvelous plan tonight if you will only go over there and relax. Get your matcon and get ready.. I will be back ''[dons helmet]''
:'''Booker T''': Let me see that. ''[takes lightsaber toy, but gets amazed when it lights up, and makes motions and humming sounds as if he's using the weapon]'' I'm like, I'm about to get medieval man... OBI-BOOK KENOBI!! It don't matter whether you're a Stormtrooper or the nWo, your ass is about to get waxed by the five-time Master Jedi champion, now can you dig that, ''[kneels and thrusts lightsaber upwards]'' sucka!!! ''[returns to normal and gives Goldust the lightsaber back]'' Take care of your business, man. ''[leaves]''

=== July 15 ===
:'''Booker T''': ''[in interview with Jonathan Coachman]'' The fact of the matter is this. Big Show, I'm 'bout to come out here and pull an Allen Iverson on yo' punk ass and show you why you don't put your hands on the ''[counts fingers on hand]'' five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW Champion! Now can you dig that... ''[looks over and looks like he's seeing a ghost, but it's actually...]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[shaking Booker's hand]'' Booker T, so good to see you again, my friend.
:'''Booker T''': ''[to Coach after Eric walks off]'' Tell me I didn't just see that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[With the one-hour countdown to naming a new Raw General Manager is up, Vince comes out]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': You know, you don't realize this but it takes a real son of a bitch to be successful in this business. So from one son of a bitch to another, allow me to introduce you to the new general manager of ''Raw'' - his name is ERIC BISCHOFF!
:''[Bischoff comes out and gives McMahon a deep embrace and raise their arms together. Bischoff heads down to the ring]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': &quot;For those of you who may not know me... my name is Eric Bischoff, and I used to run WCW. Not that watered-down version, by the way, that invaded this company... but the real deal. You see, when I ran WCW, I became famous. That's right. I was the only person EVER able to take it right to Vince McMahon. That would be me. In fact, when Vince was out here a couple weeks ago talking about ruthless aggression... just who the hell do you think he was talking about? That, of course, would be me - I've personified ruthless aggression.

:When Vince McMahon needed star power, I was ruthless. Hell, I signed everybody he had! Hulk Hogan - Randy Savage - Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Roddy Piper, it went on and on and on, hell - I was like a kid in a candy store! I signed Bobby &quot;the Brain&quot; Heenan and Mean Gene Okerlund... just for the hell of it! Just because I could. But what I really did... is I took this little family business, this McMahon monopoly, and I gave it one big swift kick in the crotch. And it was sweet. In fact, while Vince McMahon was on trial with the federal government, he took his eye off the ball - and I raided his company dry.

:And for all of you people who say the only reason I was successful is because I had Ted Turner's money, I've got news for each and every one of you - I was successful because I was innovative. In fact, I was cutting edge, remember - remember back when ''Raw'' was taped every other week and ''Nitro'' was live, and I decided to go on the air two minutes before ''Raw'', and I gave away everything that happened on ''Raw'' so YOU people didn't have to watch it? Oh, DAMN! That was ruthless. And it was a little aggressive, but it worked. And how about Alundra Blayze, you remember her? Vince's Woman's World Champion, I signed her away and I said 'hey, Alundra, bring your belt to ''Nitro'',' she didn't really want to, but I made her, 'cause... she worked for me. And I had her go out on national television and throw it in the trash! Hahaha... that one killed me, it was a little ruthless, it was a little aggressive, but it worked.

:But you know what the important thing was? Is I forced Vince McMahon to change the way he did television. *I* did. Because on ''Nitro'', I gave away a competitive main event every week with big stars! Hell, ''WCW Nitro'' changed the face of sports entertainment forever! And I singlehandedly forced Vince McMahon to change the way HE did business so HE could keep up with ME. It was beautiful. Hey, remember when I created the nWo? Cutting edge! Ruthless! Aggressive! Not some stale retread. ''Nitro'' beat ''Raw'' 84 WEEKS IN A ROW. Eighty-four weeks in a row, and I came THIS close - can you see it? THIS close to putting this company out of business forever. Singlehandedly!

:So naturally, I was a little surprised when my phone rang...and on the other end was none other than Vince McMahon, and he said 'hey Eric, whaddaya think about becoming the general manager of ''Raw''?' Well I gotta tell ya, I was surprised. I was DAMN surprised. But then the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me - because you see if there's one person - ONE person who can take this... struggling franchise, and turn it into a national media powerhouse! Well... that would be... ME. And it's gonna start right here on ''Raw'', and we're gonna kick it off this Sunday at Vengeance. Because there was one thing that I really wanted to do when I was running WCW, never got the job done, one piece of talent that I could never sign away. Just one. And I'm absolutely convinced - absolutely convinced that if I would have been able to sign him that right now, today, ''Nitro'' would be on the air, and Vince McMahon, my new best friend, with all due respect, would be working for me. But that's okay. Because it's not gonna be the nWo that signs Triple H - uh uh - that would be me.

:And for all of the rest of you in the back - some of you I've had a chance to work with, some of you I'm meeting for the very first time - one thing I'm sure you'll all agree on is that people generally like working for me - it's really not about the money - truly, it's not. People are drawn to winners - you people are drawn to winners - Mr. McMahon was drawn to a winner, which is why he hired me. Let's face it: the WWE *needs* me - you people DESERVE me - and there's one thing I wanna promise each and every one of you people. I am here to put the 'E' in WWE.

=== August 26 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': We stand here tonight on the sacred ground of the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. And, you can take Bruno Sammartino, Superstar Billy Graham, Hollywood Hulk Hogan...you can combine them all and they STILL don't equal this man. And the funniest thing about it is, I TOLD YOU SO! And none of you would listen to me! I told you Brock Lesnar was the Next Big Thing, and none of you would listen. I told you Brock Lesnar would win the King of the Ring, and none of you would listen to me. I told you that Brock Lesnar would destroy the myth of Hulkamania, none of you would listen to me! I told you Brock Lesnar would beat The Rock for the Undisputed title at SummerSlam, and none of you would listen to me! Well you think by now, you people would learn to listen!

=== October 7 ===
:[''Triple H and Ric Flair appear on the stage after Kane successfully defends the World Tag Team Championship in a TLC match'']
:'''Triple H''': Kane, I promised you that before this night was over, your life would never be the same. You said this is the happiest you've ever been in your life, huh? Well, unfortunately, some people always can't be that happy. [''crowd chants &quot;asshole&quot; at Triple H''] Let me ask you a question, Kane! How happy is Katie Vick? Yeah, that's right. I know, Kane. I know it all. Ten years ago, you killed her. That's right, Kane. You are a murderer. [''Kane stands in the ring, speechless'']

== 2003 ==

=== February 3 ===

:'''Triple H''': Today marks the beginning of a new era. You see, in this industry, just like in life, everything evolves. And what you see in this ring before you is the greatest example of Evolution you will ever see. Ric Flair, 16 times Heavyweight Champion of the World, the Nature Boy, the greatest professional wrestler of all time, a living legend. WHOO! Ric Flair has done it all and has beaten them all and done with a class and a style like no one else. Take it from me: There is no one better than Ric Flair.
:And all of the things Flair represents, I am today. I have taken all of those attributes and I have put them into the ultimate package. I have put them into a body that every man out there wishes he had and every single one of you women out there wants to be with. You top that off with a mind made for this business and you get the greatest Ring General of all time. You get the best that there is. You get The Game. You get the World Heavyweight Champion. Trust me, trust me when I tell you that there is only one diamond in this business, and baby, you’re looking at him.
:But evolution always continues, and you have to look to the future. And I look to you, Dave Batista. 6'5&quot;, 325 pounds of genetic stopping power! Unbridled destruction! In a war, when all seems lost, you take out your biggest gun and you blow them all away.
:And Randy Orton. The business in his blood. Third-generation Superstar, the man has every gift a man can be given. Raw, raw genetic talent. Randy Orton is the diamond-''[correcting himself]'' Randy Orton is the coal that will be squeezed into the next diamond.
:You see, in life, everything happens for a reason. That's just the natural process of evolution. You see, and if you don't have what it takes, you will be left behind. So if you wake up one day, and you’re lying in a hospital bed, and you’re all beat up and you’re wondering to yourself what in the hell happened, then there's just one answer for you: Evolution has just passed you by.

=== February 24 ===

:''[from an exclusive interview, a few weeks after Goldust was electrocuted]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Goldust, let's get right to the heart of the matter, how are you feeling these days?
:'''Goldust''': Question is, after last week's beating, how are ''you'' feeling, JR?
:'''Jim''': Well...uh, I'll-I'll be all right, but I'm a whole lot more concerned about you and...give us an update.
:'''Goldust''': Well, I was electrocuted, you know, there's...you either die or you live, and, uh...happily, I lived, and-and hopefully soon I'll be back.
:'''Jim''': Your good friend Booker T said that, on a recent interview, that &quot;good ol' Goldie wasn't quite right&quot;. Uh, there's also been rumors abounding that, uh, you have some neurological challenges you're trying to overcome. How do you address those rumors?
:'''Goldust''': There's been a lot of rumors for a lot of years about Goldust not being &quot;right&quot;. As far as Booker T's concerned, he's my best friend. He's been my supporter. The fans have sup - ''[twitching]'' ooh, ooh, ooh - supported me through thick and thin.
:'''Jim''': Excuse me?
:'''Goldust''': Well, they've supported me. I feel good. I feel as good as...I feel - uhh, AHH! - as good as gold, I'm coming back - AHH!
:'''Jim''': Look, Goldust, I'm...I don't think - I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that, uh...there's something wrong here.
:'''Goldust''': Well, I-I think there's something wrong too, you know, the doctors don't - ooh, ooh - don't...don't...mmm...don't, don't really know what's wrong with me, you know. Uh, but they say as long as I take...take my medication that-that-that-that...that, uh, you know, everything will - AHH! - work it...work itself out, so...you know, that's - AY! - that's all I can say.
:'''Jim''': If you had the opportunity to say something to the two men that did this to you - Randy Orton and Batista - what would it be?
:'''Goldust''' ''[staring into the camera]'': Randy Orton and Batista...you don't know what it feels like to be on the edge of death...but when this is all over, said and done, you will ''never'' forget the name of - ''[inhales]'' - Goldust. ''[chomps]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''The Rock''' ''[singing and playing his guitar]'': ~Ever since the Rock came into town, everybody tried to bring him down, Canadians have no class, that's why they can kiss the People's ass.~
:''[suddenly the Hurricane appears before him. The Rock stops playing his guitar]''
:'''The Hurricane''': Holy letdown! The Rock! You used to be an idol, an icon; loved by millions...and millions! And yet tonight, you come out, and you trash the people! What's up wit dat?
:''[The Rock removes his shades, looks the Hurricane up and down, clears his throat and sets his guitar aside]''
:'''The Rock''': Who...in the ''green'' hell, are you? Oh, no you-no-no-no, don't answer that, ''[standing up]'' the Rock knows who you are! Oh yeah, the Rock knows exactly who you are! The green shirt, 'H' on your chest, green mask...why, you're the Hamburglar! Yeah, you're that cat that works for McDonald's! Go get me a cheeseburger, go get the Rock a cheeseburger, no ketchup! Ah-ah-ah, as a matter of fact, no-no, don't go nowhere! The Rock knows exactly who you are, yeah! Yeah, you're the resident superhero, the Hurricane! The Rock knows who you are, my man, yeah; don't you ever bust in the Rock's door like that again, you hear? Hey, but what's more importantly than that, let the Rock remind you of something: you ain't nothin'. You understand that? Every superhero can whip that ass, every single one of 'em! EVERY single one of 'em! Superman, Batman, Aquaman, oh yeah, Aquaman, that dude that talks to the fish, he'll whip that little candy ass, ''[snapping his fingers]'' just like that!
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, I know one superhero who I can definitely beat!
:'''The Rock''' ''[grinning, to himself]'': This is a joke. ''[to the Hurricane]'' Who?
:'''The Hurricane''': The Scorpion King!
:'''The Rock''': Oh, no you-! You, no-no-no - there is no WAY you can beat the Scorpion King, you don't-!
:'''The Hurricane''': ''Brendan Fraser'' beat the Scorpion King!
:'''The Rock''': Brenda-da-da-da, he did not, that was a special effect for the movie, for crying - the Scorpion King is the most powerful-
:'''The Hurricane''' ''[interrupting]'': Let me ask you one question, Rock, just one more: can the Rock...fly?
:'''The Rock''': ...you've been smokin' them funny cigarettes? The Rock gonna fly and whip that candy ass, the Rock-
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, good! Because tonight, the Hurricane is gonna send ''your'' candy ass flying over the top rope in that battle royal! ''[&quot;flies&quot; out of the room]''
:'''The Rock''': ...it was a special effect for the movie!

=== March 3 ===

:''[&quot;The Coach&quot;, Jonathan Coachman, knocks twice on the door to the Rock's locker room, microphone in hand. The Rock finally answers, while putting a stick of gum into his mouth]''
:'''Coach''': Hey, Rock, what's, what's goin' on-
:'''The Rock''' ''[interrupting]'': Are you...are you on crack, Coach? Are you on cr - wh-wh-what are you doing? What are you doing?
:'''Coach''': I just wanted to get a word with you before you go out tonight-
:'''The Rock''': You can't get a word with the Rock, that's not the way it works, you know that! You just don't, knock on the Rock's locker like that, the People's locker, you KNOW that! You already know that! ''[stammering]'' Hey, hey, d-do you have an *appointment* to speak to the Rock, is that it?
:'''Coach''': Rock, Rock, we go back-
:'''The Rock''': ''[stammering mockingly]'' Ah, shut up, Coach, let the Rock check the People's Palm Pilot! ''[holding up his hand]'' Ka-kow! ''[looking at his empty hand]'' How's Wednesday?
:'''Coach''': No, We-Wednesday doesn't work for me-
:'''The Rock''': Wednesday ''works''! You and your Rock-wannabe haircut, get out of the Rock's face! Who cut your hair? Ray Charles? Beat it! Wash ya ass! ''[Coach reluctantly leaves. The Rock goes back inside his locker room]'' Rock can't be ''dealing'' with that! The Rock has got a very big night; millions and millions of the Rock's fans waiting for him! ''[the crowd boos]'' The Rock said, millions and millions of the Rock's fans, waiting for him! ''[the crowd boos again, louder]'' Where's the Rock's guitar? The Rock has gotta soothe his soul, he's gotta sing a ''song''! ''[walks over to one of the curtains]'' The Rock's gotta sing a song, baby! Wh- ''[pulls the curtain back, only to see the Hurricane sitting in the closet behind the curtain]'' Heh...excuse the Rock one second. ''[closes the curtain, throws off his shades, ponders, and shakes his head, grinning]'' Nah. ''[chuckling]'' Nah. ''[turns back around and pulls back the curtain again. The Hurricane jumps out of the closet and stands on the other side of the Rock]''
:'''The Hurricane''': Holy...hypocrite! Just last week, you challenged Stone Cold Steve Austin to meet you, face-to-face, and yet this week, you got Eric Bischoff and his criminal committee doing all your dastardly work. What's up wit dat??
:'''The Rock''' ''[looking back to the curtain, then back at the Hurricane, clearing his throat]'': How long...have you been sitting in there? Huh? W-w-watching the Rock all night long, w-w-walking around here naked?! Oh, no, don't a - don't answer that, no-no-no, don't answer that! Tell you what. The Rock's glad you're here. The Rock's glad you're here, because - I wanted to talk to you. The Rock - the Rock, he was gonna go looking for you. Do you remember last week when you came, waltzin' in to the Rock's locker, you remember that? Yeah. And you talk - and you talk about how, how, how the Hurricane, could just whip the Scorpion King's ass! Yeah, you remember that? And you also talk, talk about how the Hurricane could just, could just gonna toss the Rock over the top rope, remember that? Well, if the Rock's memory serves him correctly, it was ''the Rock'' that tossed your little Hamburglar monkey ass right over the top rope. Remember that? Made you with all your friends; you had Grimace, and-and-and Mayor McCheese, Ronald McDonald, all them! Yeah! Remember that? More importantly than that, more importantly than that...when the Rock tossed you over the top rope, he was screaming something; the Rock was screaming something very important in your ear. Do you remember what the Rock was screaming?
:'''The Hurricane''': I remember you screaming. But it was when Booker T threw ''yo' '' ass over the top rope that you were screaming! ''[demonstrating how the Rock was thrown over the top rope]'' Like this!
:'''The Rock''': Don't do that. ''[The Hurricane demonstrates again]'' ''[stammering]'' No, none of that! Hey! Hey! ''[addressing the crowd]'' Hey-hey, stop cheering! ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' Hey, he didn't throw - no, he didn't! You hear the Rock, he didn't throw - Booker T didn't throw the Rock over the top rope, the Rock ''tripped'' over the top rope, that's what happened. ''[to the crowd]'' Yeah, that's what happened! ''[the crowd boos]'' Oh, the Rock ''said'' that's what happened! ''[the crowd boos again]'' Let the Rock, l-l-let the Rock, let the Rock remind you of something! Let the Rock remind you of something: you ain't nothin'! You ain't nothin'! You ain't no superhero, not like the Scorpion King! You're 100 pounds of nothin'! 5-feet-nothin'! Oh, excuse the Rock one second, excuse the Rock, ''[taking his cell phone out of his pocket]'' his cell phone's goin' off! Oh, yeah! Oh... ''[&quot;answering&quot; his cell phone]'' Ka-kow, hello? Hey, it's Nothing, he says he knows you! ''[putting his cell phone back into his pocket]'' You're nothin'! ''[to the crowd]'' Oh, don't laugh at the Rock's jokes! ''[to the Hurricane]'' Cause you're nothin'! You're no - and, as a superhero... ''[chuckling]'' you've got braces! ''[The Hurricane begrudgingly smiles to reveal the braces on his teeth]'' You've got braces - what, wh-what are you, the president of student council? Is that what you're gonna do? What, are you gonna go sell band candy after the show? ''[laughing]'' Get your little Hamburglar green monkey ass out of the - before you leave, before you leave, before you go flyin' out, you do all that...uh, unrealistic crap, let the Rock remind you of something: the Rock, when he threw you over the top rope, he was saying to you, he was screaming to you, he was screaming to you, he said, hey! The greatest line, a superhero has ever said, the Scorpion King! He said, &quot;haku machente, da&quot;! &quot;Haku machente, ah!&quot;, do you remember that? Do you have any idea what that means? Do you have any idea, can you fathom, how-how enormous that is? Do you know what &quot;haku machente&quot; means?
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, apparently, from what I saw behind that curtain, it means &quot;the Scorpion King's got a tiny ding-a-ling&quot;!
:'''The Rock''' ''[horrified]'': AAHH!! AHH! No! No! Ahh! No - ''[stammering]'' - hey, whoa-whoa-whoa, I mean, there's a reason they call the Rock &quot;The Rock&quot;! Oh, yeah! ''[patting his leg]'' E-easy, big fella! Oh, yeah. Ah, no! No! That - ''[to the crowd]'' - stop laughing! ''[to the Hurricane, stammering]'' You know, I tell ya - how 'bout back to reality, a place that you clearly have no idea where that's at, because you are clearly insane? Let the Rock ask you this: what do - what do you want? What do you want?
:'''The Hurricane''': I'm here, Rock, because I figured you out. You're a coward! You're afraid of Steve Austin! You're afraid of Stone Cold! That's why you got Eric Bischoff to do all your dirty work today. You see, you talk a big game, and your gums, they do flap, but it would appear, that you're full of Brahma bull CRAP! ''[&quot;flies&quot; his way out of the Rock's locker room again]''
:'''The Rock''': Hey-hey-hey, the Rock ain't scared, of nobody! Nobody! ''[looking down at his pants]'' You are ''still'' the man! You are still, you are...

=== March 31 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': Glad you're happy about it. Folks, I'll tell you what, as long as I live, as long as I live, I'll never ver - gonna forget March 31, 2003 because, although Eric Bischoff has done the worst thing that any human being, he has, he has robbed Austin of his dreams, of his livelihood. And let me say this. And understand what I'm telling you. And I'm on record for this. Eric Bischoff is a no good, lousy, son of a bitch.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Hey hey hey! Easy!
:'''Ross''': That's exactly what he is! And how he got Austin's records, I'll never know. But he's a no good bastard for what he did, for taking Austin right out of the ball game for medical reasons. He's ruined his dreams, he couldn't beat him, he can't find anybody to beat him, and this is what he's done! And he oughta burn in hell for it!

=== May 12 ===
:''[The Dudley Boyz just trashed 3-Minute Warning for almost beating up Classy Freddie Blassie, but....]''
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Whoa whoa whoa, stop it right there. Stop it right there. Classy Freddie Blassie got something he wants to say.
:'''Freddie Blassie''': D-Von, get the table!
:'''Austin''': You heard the man. D-Von get the table!!! ''[Dudleys prepare the table for Rico]''

=== July 14 ===
:''[After Kane sets Jim Ross on fire]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''' ''[walking out into the arena]'': Damn you, Steve Austin! Damn you anyway! How do you feel now? Are you proud of yourself now, Austin? How did that make you feel?! That wasn't Kane who put the match to Jim Ross! That wasn't Kane who poured gasoline on him! That wasn't Kane who set Jim Ross on fire, dammit! It was YOU! This is YOUR fault! Yours and yours alone! And I've got news for you; I got a call from Linda McMahon! Next week, in Los Angeles, in the ring you're standing in right now, she is going to fire your ass! Fire you! Damn you to hell anyway, Steve Austin! Damn, you, straight, to, hell!!! You rotten bastard!

=== December 8 ===
:''[Raw co-general manager Mick Foley stands in the ring with a clipboard as the crowd chants his name]''
:'''Mick''': You know, when I took over as co-general manager of ''Raw'', I did so with the intention of making things right. ''[the crowd cheers]'' Now if, at Armageddon, Ric Flair were to become involved in the Randy Orton-RVD match, well then that certainly would not be right. So I've decided that that matchup at Armageddon needs a special guest referee...
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Uh-oh.
:'''Mick''': ...and after consulting with myself for several hours I've decided that that special guest referee is going to be: me, Mick Foley.
:'''Jerry''': What?
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh, Mick!
:''[the crowd cheers]''
:'''Mick''': Thank you. Now, another thing I'd like to make right, is the reinstatement to ''Raw'' of Stone Cold Steve Austin. ''[the crowd cheers louder]''
:'''Jim''': He started that petition drive last week.
:'''Mick''': Last week, I brought out a petition; as of now, we have over half a million signatures saying, &quot;We want Stone Cold back on ''Raw''!&quot; ''[the crowd keeps cheering]''
:'''Jim''': It was on the Internet-
:'''Mick''': But we need more. So I brought out another petition, so that tonight, in Anaheim, California...
:''[suddenly he is interrupted by La Résistance's music, and René Duprée and Rob Conway make their way out to the ring, both brandishing French flags]''
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh, wait a minute.
:'''Jim''': La Résistance. And La Résistance, of course, were embarrassed and humiliated last week, being fired for a few minutes because, well, they - they didn't recite the Pledge of Allegiance for the flag of the United States of America!
:'''Jerry''': Well, René didn't. That was great, Mick Foley tried to make La Résistance say the Pledge of Allegiance. Well, they're killing Mick Foley's buzz here, what are they - what are they doing out here?
:'''Jim''': They earn their money in this country, why can't they...do the right thing? I mean - Conway's not French, he's a French sympathizer!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as Conway takes a mic]'': Speaking of the right thing, look at - look at Foley's shoes!
:'''Rob''': Hold on...you say you're out here to make things right? ''[the crowd starts a &quot;USA&quot; chant]'' You call humiliating us last week on live TV &quot;making things right&quot;?
:'''René''' ''[taking the mic]'': Well, you're not right! Look at you, Mick Foley, you're nothing but a joke! ''[to the crowd]'' And America is a joke as well!
:''[the crowd boos]''
:'''Jerry''': Wait a minute.
:'''René''': You really think if the French would have gone to Iraq, we would not have found the weapons of mass destruction? Hell, the war would have been over!
:'''Jim and Jerry''': What?!
:'''René''': Because everybody knows that the French are not only better lovers...we are better fighters as well.
:'''Jim''': Come on!
:'''Rob''': You see, Mick, Eric Bischoff had assured us that our jobs are safe. So it's our turn to humiliate ''you'', starting with you saluting the French flag...
:''[the crowd boos]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, come on!
:'''Rob''': ...right here, right now!
:'''Jerry''': Like, Eric Bischoff said their jobs are safe?
:'''René''': And if you don't, ''je te pitié, mon ami'', we will intro you to a beating, French-style.
:'''Mick''': Wait a second, let me get this straight: you want me to salute the French flag, right here, right now? ''[looks to the crowd, who boos and tries to dissuade him]''
:'''Jerry''': Let's make a bet on that!
:'''Mick''': Listen, wait-wait, you know...I have - I have nothing against French things. I-I like French fries...I like, I like French toast...
:'''Jerry''': Yeah!
:'''Mick''': I like, I even like French's mustard!
:'''Jerry''': Ah!
:'''Mick''': But I don't like ''you''. ''[pointing his finger at Duprée and backing him into a corner]'' So if you think you're gonna beat the crap out of me, you go ahead, but I sure as hell am not gonna stand here in Anaheim, California - ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' - of the United States of America, and salute that damn flag! You think you can beat the crap out of me, you bring it on now, but I'm not saluting the French flag!
:'''René''': Well, ''c'est la vie'', Mick Foley! We have no problem with, how do you say, kicking your ass! ''[he and Conway drop their flags]''
:'''Mick''': Bring it on! ''[both he and Duprée drop their mics]''
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh, look out now!
:'''Jim''' ''[as La Résistance back Foley into a corner]'' : It's two-on-one here!
:'''Jerry''': There goes Mick's suit!
:''[suddenly, the Rock's music hits and the crowd begins to cheer]''
:'''Jim''': What?
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Jim''': WHAT? WHAT??
:'''Jerry''': What the hell is this, JR?!
:'''Jim''': What the hell is-
:''[The Rock comes out to a loud ovation]''
:'''Jerry''': AAAHHH!!
:'''Jim''': My God! Oh my God, it's the Rock!!
:'''Jerry''': The Rock!!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock makes his way to the ring]'': The Great One is here!! And he's all-American!
:'''Jerry''': The Rock!
:'''Jim''': My God, these fans are on their feet! We are live in Anaheim! This is electrifying!
:'''Jerry''': I - I can't believe what I'm seeing, JR! It's the Rock!
:'''Jim''': Mick Foley was about to be - about to be assaulted by La Résistance, these, these Frenchmen!
:'''Jerry''': Look at these fans!
:'''Jim''': The roar of this crowd, ladies and gentlemen, is just deafening here!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock takes a mic]'': JR, it's the Rock!
:'''Jim''': I can't...I can't believe what I'm seeing! ''[the music stops and the crowd does a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant before continuing cheering]'' Man, this is a ''Raw'' moment.
:''[after a moment of taking in the cheers, the Rock finally holds up his mic]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally... The Rock has come back to Anaheim!
:'''Jerry''': Oh yes! It's the Rock!
:'''The Rock''': See, let the Rock clear something up, the Rock came out here tonight to surprise his friend Mick Foley; the Rock came out to surprise, the millions...
:'''The crowd''': And millions!
:'''The Rock''': ...of the Rock's fans...but see, the Rock is a little confused; he's confused, you see, because the Rock knows everybody here. The Rock knows Mick Foley, the Rock knows the people... ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' ...the Rock knows Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross...
:'''Jerry''': Hey-hey!
:'''The Rock''': Yeah. Yeah. The Rock knows Lilian Garcia! ''[Lilian waves at the Rock]'' How you doing, honey?
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh!
:'''The Rock''': You still like the strudel?
:'''Jerry''': Oh! ''[Lilian smiles sheepishly and the Rock laughs]'' How else does the Rock know Lilian?
:''[the crowd starts a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant again]''
:'''The Rock''': The Rock knows every - ''[gesturing to the cameraman in the corner]'' - the Rock knows Marty, the cross-dressing cameraman right here, he knows him. ''[indicating the cameraman]'' Don't worry, your secret's safe with the Rock; you see, the Rock, the Rock doesn't know, the Rock doesn't know two people. The Rock doesn't know you two. So help the Rock. Tell the Rock, exactly, who in the blue hell are you two French popcorn farts anyway?
:'''Jerry''': Ahh!
:'''The Rock''' ''[as Duprée starts to reply]'': It doesn't matter who you are!! ''[the crowd cheers]'' You thi - you actually think the Rock gives a monkey's nutsack what Pepé Le Pew number 1 and number 2 have to say?
:'''Jerry''': Pepé Le Pew?!
:'''The Rock''': You come out here running your mouth, running your mouth to Mick Foley about how you're gonna beat him French-style? What the hell is that, what are you gonna do, French kiss him to death, is that what you're gonna do? Look at you two - the Rock knows, the Rock knows you two are little Fifi, anyway!
:'''Jerry''': Fifi??
:'''Jim''': What was that, &quot;Fifi&quot;?
:''[the crowd begins a &quot;Fifi&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': Fifi chant!
:'''Jim''': La Résistance didn't like that a bit.
:'''The Rock''': The Rock asks you, come out here running your French mouths, let the Rock ask you one question: how's your lips? ''[Duprée and Conway look confused]''
:'''Jerry''': Lips?
:'''The Rock''': How's your lips?; how do you like your lips? You like 'em where they are?, because if you keep running your mouth, the Rock and Mick Foley are gonna slap your lips right off your French faces! And there'll be two sets of lips laying right here, flopping around like fish, and, hold on a second, you're gonna - ''[talking without his lips]'' you're gonna be like that - ''[back to normal]'' and what the Rock is gonna do, the Rock and Mick Foley are gonna pick up your French lips, and make you kiss our American asses! 
:''[the crowd cheers and starts another &quot;USA&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': JR, this is the greatest - look at the fun these fans are having!
:'''Jim''': This is ''Monday Night Raw'', man, everybody's having a great time tonight!
:'''The Rock''': And let the Rock tell you one more thing -
:'''René''': No, no, no, no, no more &quot;one thing&quot;, you listen to me, Rocky! ''[the crowd boos]'' You show us some respect, ''tout de suite''! Because this Sunday at Armageddon, at the Tag Team Turmoil, ''Rocky'', me and my partner Robért Conway are gonna become the new World Tag Team Champions. How do you like that, Rocky?
:'''The Rock''': First of all, Frenchy, I am not &quot;Rocky&quot;! The name, is the Rock! And - and here's another thing; oh, the Rock knows about Armageddon, the Rock is excited about Armageddon! Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah! But see, you two, you two candyasses, you're not gonna win the tag team titles, you know why? Number 1: you're French. Number 2: you suck, exactly.
:'''Jerry''': French ''and'' they suck! They would probably surrender before the match starts!
:'''The Rock''': And here's another thing: you actually had the nerve to say the French army went to Iraq, they would've found weapons of mass destruction, the war would've been over? That what you said? Well, let the Rock explain this, let me, the Ro-Rock explain this: you see, the French army would've went into Iraq, would've went to Russia, China, if the French army would've come right here to Orange County, the exact same thing - the exact same thing would've happened. The French general would've walked right up to the enemy and would've said this: ''[speaking in mock French accent]'' &quot;Oh, we are so sorry! We are so sorry! Oh, don't hurt us, no-no-no-no-no, we so sorry! Oh, we make you crème brûlée! You like to pet our poodle?&quot;
:'''Jerry''': Poodle?!
:'''The Rock''': See, so you understand, the only thing strong about the French army is their damn body odor.
:'''Jim''': Ooh!
:'''The Rock''': And I'll tell you what, you run your mouth, you wanna beat up on Mick Foley or try to beat on Mick Foley, two-on-one, well now, live on ''Raw'', you can try and show us how tough you are, two-on-''two''!
:'''Jim''': Oh my, here we go!
:'''Jerry''': Here we go!
:'''Jim''': Now you're talkin'!
:'''Mick''': And mark my words, you don't wanna mess with the Sock &amp; Rock Connection!
:'''Jerry''': Oh no, no - not ''that'' again, JR!
:'''The Rock''': You damn right, you bet your ass - ''[turning to Foley]'' what did you just say?
:'''Mick''': The Sock and Rock...
:'''The Rock''': No, no, no, no, Mick...thank you, it's the ''Rock'' and Sock Connection!
:'''Jerry''': Oh!
:''[Duprée and Conway begin attacking the Rock and Foley]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, wait!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''': La Résistance has heard all the talking! A cheap shot on the Rock! One on Foley! And here we go!
:'''Jerry''': These French guys are nuttier than I thought, I can't believe that they're doing this!
:''[Duprée and Conway throw the Rock over the top rope]''
:'''Jim''': The Rock thrown over the top rope to the outside, and Mick Foley now trying to fight off two men; La Résistance hammering Mick Foley back to the corner! René...René Duprée and Rob Conway, stomping the hell out of Mick Foley!
:'''Jerry''': This is not right! These French are supposed to suck!
:''[The Rock comes back into the ring]''
:'''Jim''': Bischoff gave these men permission to assault Foley, and here comes the Rock!
:''[The Rock clotheslines Conway, then turns his attention to Duprée]''
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock chops on Duprée]'' : The Rock, opening up on right hands! ''[The Rock clotheslines Duprée over the top rope]'' The Brahma Bull just beheaded René Dupree!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock then grabs Conway]'': It's vintage Rock! Are you ready? ''[Conway gets hit with the Rock Bottom]'' Rock Bottom!
:'''Jim''': The Rock Bottom! ''[as Conway rolls out of the ring, Duprée comes back in and knocks down the Rock from behind]'' And up from behind! Duprée again! ''[Duprée does a little dance in the ring]'' And the arrogant, cocky young Frenchman!
:'''Jerry''': Oh, no!
:'''Jim''': What a stupid dance! ''[suddenly the Rock kips back up and stands behind Duprée]'' And the Rock is up!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock goes back on the attack]'' Right hands by the Rock! And Duprée is reeling!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock hits a big right hand in the corner]'': Ohh!
:'''Jim''': Another big right hand, by the Brahma Bull!
:''[Foley is back up as he then puts Mr. Socko on his right hand]''
:'''Jerry''': I bet the Rock is gonna -
:'''Jim''': Oh no!
:'''Jerry''': Aahhh!
:''[Foley gives Duprée the Mandible Claw with Mr. Socko on his hand]''
:'''Jim''': Socko! Socko! ''[Foley pushes Duprée over to the Rock, who then hits him with a spinebuster]'' That Mandible Claw and the spinebuster slam!
:'''Jerry''': Whoa, wait a minute...are we gonna see it here one more time on ''Raw''?
:'''Jim''': This huge crowd here in Anaheim -
:'''Jerry''': Yes! It's the most electrifying move in all of sports entertainment - ''[The Rock hits the People's Elbow on Duprée]'' - the People's Elbow!
:'''Jim''': The People's Elbow found its mark! The Rock &amp; Sock Conne - oh, wait a minute! ''[Conway runs back into the ring, only to be hit with a spinebuster as well]'' Another spinebuster! It's not over yet!
:'''Jerry''': These French punks won't quit! ''[Foley is volunteering to the Rock to get the next hit]'' Oh, no, wait a minute! It's Foley's turn! Yeah, go ahead!
:'''Jim''': Well, they are the Rock &amp; Sock Connection! Mick Foley...
:'''Jerry''' ''[as Foley runs back and forth between the ropes]'': It's the most awkward, unathletic-looking...
:''[Foley then hits Mr. Elbow on Conway, down low]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, down there in the nether lands! Mick Foley dropped that elbow, it wasn't artistic, but it was effective!
:''[Foley pics the mic back up as Conway rolls back out of the ring in pain; the crowd does a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': This is amazing!
:'''Mick''': You two clowns...you two clowns better run...if you smell, la-la-la-la -
:''[The Rock snatches the mic from Foley's hand as Lawler is chuckling audibly]''
:'''The Rock''': The Rock's got a lot of love for you, Mick; don't you ''ever'', and the Rock means ''ever'', steal the Rock's catchphrases.
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock poses for his catchphrase]'': This is the way you do it right here.  It's patented, it's trademark!
:'''The Rock''': ...if you smeeellll, la-la-la-la-laowww, what the Rock is cooking! ''[drops the mic]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock and Foley pose for the crowd]'': The Rock and Sock Connection, making their presence felt, on these arrogant and quite unprofessional La Résistance members!
:'''Jerry''': Boy, ''Monday Night Raw'' can certainly smell what the Rock is cook - can you believe it, JR? The Rock's on ''Raw''!
:'''Jim''': And it's all live, before your very eyes; that's why ''Monday Night Raw'' is the flagship of the WWE! The Rock and Sock Connection, what a reunion tonight!
:'''Jerry''': Unbeliev - uh-oh.
:''[The Rock picks up Foley's clipboard from the canvas and proceeds to sign the petition before walking out]''
:'''Jim''': And look at the Rock, he's signing that petition...
:'''Jerry''': Yes! To bring back Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': The Rock signed the petition to bring back the Texas Rattlesnake! What a moment!
:'''Jerry''': What a night!
:'''Jim''': And this night is far from over! The Great One, the Rock, the Rock &amp; Sock Connection! The Rock surprised all of us; what a shocker!

===December 15===
:''[Evolution is on the stage with all the championships they won at Armageddon the night prior]''
:'''Triple H''': All along, I promised you that Evolution would change the face of sports entertainment. ''[crowd boos]'' Last night, at Armageddon, Evolution fulfilled that promise! Because in one night, in one clean sweep, we took all the gold. ''[looks at Randy Orton]'' Intercontinental Champion, ''[looks at Ric Flair and Batista]'' World Tag Team Champions, and World Heavyweight Champion. ''[raises World Heavyweight Championship]'' And Goldberg, all your fans, they all wanted to believe the hype. But let me explain to you like this: I'm Triple H, I am The Game, and with me, ''[laughs]'' with me, there is no hype necessary. Tonight, everybody learns to live under Evolution's golden rule. And that is, we have all the gold, so we make all the rules. ''[Evolution raises their respective championships]''

==2004==
===February 16===
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': It turns out Eric Bischoff made a decision regarding the World title at WrestleMania, but I guess, uh, he was too afraid to come out here and tell you to your face because maybe he might piss you off. But since I don't give a rat's ass what you think, I'll come out here and make the announcement myself. So for the first time in history, the World Heavyweight Championship will be decided at WrestleMania, Madison Square Garden, March 14, in a Triple Threat match.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?! What?!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my god!
:'''Austin''': Triple H versus Chris Benoit versus Shawn Michaels. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!

===February 23===
:''[Vince McMahon is choking Eric Bischoff outside the ring as Stone Cold Steve Austin watches]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Hey wait, what the hell?!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What? ''[Brock Lesnar is in the ring standing behind Austin]'' Oh my god!
:'''Ross''': My god it's, it's Brock Lesnar!
:'''Lawler''': Austin! Look behind you!
:'''Ross''': ''[Lesnar lifts Austin up on his shoulders]'' Stone Cold up!
:'''Lawler''': Oh!
:'''Ross''': Lesnar! ''[Lesnar delivers an F5 to Austin]'' Brock Lesnar from ''SmackDown!'' just F5'd the hell out of Stone Cold! Lesnar's got no business being here! This is not ''SmackDown!'', this is ''Raw''!
:'''Lawler''': What the?! I cannot believe this! Brock Lesnar F5'd Stone Cold Steve Austin! What does this mean?!
:'''Ross''': What the hell is going on?! What is Lesnar doing here?! Brock Lesnar, from behind! It's Lesnar standing over Austin! My god what has, what has happened here?! What has happened here??!

===May 24===
:''[Eric Bischoff has had enough of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, who are being restrained by other wrestlers from mauling each other in the ring]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': That is it, that is enough! Triple H, Shawn Michaels...at Bad Blood, it is going to be has a.. ''[Triple H breaks out and attacks Shawn and the wrestlers still push to stop them]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Well. look out! He's loose!
:'''Jim Ross''': Triple H breaking loose before Bischoff had to finish what he was gonna say.
:'''Lawler''': Triple H is a man of his word. He said he's gonna destroy Michaels here tonight, he'll do it!
:'''Bischoff''': ENOUGH!! ''[everybody stops]'' At Bad Blood, it will be Triple H versus Shawn Michaels... HELL... IN A CELL!!!
:'''Lawler''': Oh boy!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God, oh my- that's what Michaels wanted! Hell in a Cell!!

===June 14===
:''[Jim Ross brings together HHH and Shawn Michaels after their Hell in a Cell match at Bad Blood]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Gentlemen, I, along with all these fans here, totally understand the physical condition that you're in. I hope that you will totally conduct yourself in the spirit of why you were asked to be here. I must say that in 30 years of broadcasting this great game that your match last night at the Hell in a Cell will live for generations to come. But Shawn, Triple H, it's time for this to end. I am respectfully, respectfully asking you two men to shake hands, to officially signify the end of the most storified rivalry in the WWE so that you may both get on with your lives. 
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[on commentary as HHH and Shawn get closer and JR distances]'' I don't know... that don't look good on paper, I don't think thats gonna... So much history, so much hatred between these two men, who one time were best friends, closer than brothers. I wonder who's gonna extend their hand first, I think Shawn ''[Shawn reaches out]'' You think this should happen? ''[HHH moves to shake hands but Eric Bischoff's theme plays and he steps out]''

== 2005 ==
=== February 21 ===

:'''Triple H''': Can you believe this?
:'''Ric Flair''': No.
:'''Triple H''': It's supposed to be the biggest night in Batista's career. It's supposed to be the biggest night in the history of Evolution, Ric. This is the first night, this is where it all happens. You and I are gonna run this business, and it all starts tonight. After everything we've done for him, and tonight of all nights, he has the guts to be over two hours late?
:'''Ric''': Champ, you have bent over backwards for him! You created Batista! You made him! You put him in a position to make a huge amount of impact on this industry! You did it!
:'''Triple H''': I've done more than you even know.
:'''Ric''': You have?
:'''Triple H''': Yeah.
:'''Ric''': Like what? Stuff I don't know?
:'''Triple H''': You know how hard it is to get footage from ''SmackDown!'' of JBL and Big Show, and get it put into ''Raw''? It's not easy. And do you know how hard it is to find a white limousine and get those ''stupid'' big horns put on the front to make Dave think that JBL was trying to run him over?
:'''Ric''': Wait, wait, wait, wait, ''you'' orchestrated that last week, the limousine almost running over Dave?
:'''Triple H''': Hey, relax, relax, hold on. Now, it's not like I was trying to have him killed. I was just trying to light a fire under him, for his own good. Listen, sometimes, Dave is not smart enough to know what's good for him. Just trying to ensure that he made the right decision tonight ''[Ric's jaw drops]'' and went to ''SmackDown!''.
:'''Ric''': Oh...my...God, there have been times when I thought you were a genius, I've even told people you were a genius, but now, I know you're a genius! God, that's the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life! You know that?! Oh my God, WOO! WOO! No wonder they call you the Cerebral Assassin! Champ, that's the greatest move I've ever seen, and I've been around a long time.
:'''Triple H''': Ric! Yeah, it's a great plan, but it's all for nothing if the big idiot gets here tonight and decides to be selfish and stay on ''Raw''. Batista needs to do what's right for Evolution. What's right for Evolution is right for Batista, and what's right for Batista is for him to go to ''SmackDown!''. ''[Camera begins pulling back]'' Now, when he gets here, we need to make sure...
:'''Ric''': You are clever beyond the word &quot;clever.&quot; You are a gen... You may be the most intelligent human being I've ever met in my life.
:''[As Ric speaks, it is revealed that Batista has been listening outside the door]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Batista, before you...you make any decisions, there's a couple things I want to say. By signing this contract, two things are going to happen. First and foremost, you remain with ''Raw'', the flagship program, the #1 brand in all of sports entertainments, and the brand that made you a superstar. ''Raw'' is a brand that'll give your career stability, because unlike ''other'' general managers ''[looks at Theodore Long]'', my job is not in jeopardy. But more importantly, by signing this contract, it means that you'll face Triple H one-on-one for the Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania! It's the dream of every superstar in our business, to face Triple H, a man who is arguably one of the biggest names in the history of our industry. A man that, even the Nature Boy, he says it best. Ric Flair says it best: to be the man, you gotta beat that man, Triple H! ''[Triple H shakes his head at Batista]'' And this is your opportunity. So Batista, this isn't really a question. It's a simple thing. Sign the contract, reach your dreams.
:'''Theodore Long''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, just a minute. Just a minute. Now, Batista, actually, there is a choice. Now, you can sign ''this'' contract and come to ''SmackDown!''. Now, we all... You can't tell me that you didn't feel the electricity when you walked out on No Way Out last night. Now, we all saw what you could do to the WWE Champion, JBL. We also saw the magic when you stared John Cena in the eye.
:Now think about this, Batista. John Cena, Batista, the two hottest commodities in the WWE on the same show. In fact, you two could start your own rivalry. It could be the biggest rivalry since Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. Now, not only is it JBL and John Cena waiting for you at ''SmackDown!'', it's Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. And think about this: one day, it could be Batista one-on-one with the Undertaker!
:But you know something, player? In order for this to happen, you have to sign ''this'' contract. Now, you beat JBL, you beat John Cena in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania 21, and I assure you that your career will blow up on ''SmackDown!''. Now, it's time for you to make that decision, player.
:''[Theodore hands the contract to Batista, who now holds both. He grabs the pen on the ''SmackDown!'' contract]''
:'''Triple H''': Dave, this shouldn't be a very difficult decision for you, 'cause there's really only one person that you need to listen to. See, because it's not ''[looks at Eric]'' what's best for ''Raw'', ''[turns to Theodore]'' and it's not about what's best for ''SmackDown!''. It's about one thing, big man. It's about what's best for you. It's about what's best for Batista, man. And I don't want you to worry about Ric and myself, 'cause hey, what's best for Batista will be best for Evolution.
:I want you to picture something, Dave. Imagine this. It's WrestleMania 21, it's all said and done, and I'm standing in the middle of this ring ''still'' the World Heavyweight Champion, and standing right next to me is the new WWE Champion, Batista. Think about it, Dave. We would rule the world. We would answer to no one, man. Everything we ever dreamed of. You know how big that is?
:Think about it like this. It's 1986, the Four Horsemen are running wild, Ric Flair is the NWA Champion! But what if...what if Arn Anderson were the WWE Champion, huh? They would've been unstoppable. But it never happened.
:Think about it like this. DX in our prime, on top of our game, Shawn Michaels is the WWE Champion! What if I had been the WCW Champion? We could have written history. You see that, Dave? But it never happened. You and I, you and I have an opportunity to make history, and we owe it to ourselves to do it.
:Now, Dave, I don't want you to be concerned about Bradshaw, I don't want you to be concerned about Cena, because I know deep inside of my heart, you could beat both those guys at the same time like that. You see, Dave, we have an opportunity to do the greatest thing that has ever been done in this industry. We owe it to ourselves, we owe it to the world, you and I, to walk that aisle with the &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, side-by-side, owning this business.
:Doesn't seem like a difficult decision to me at all, Dave. It really doesn't. And I've got a feeling...you know what you want to do, big man. Don't you? You know what you want to do.
:'''Batista''': Hunter, I've known what I was gonna do for a long time.
:''[Batista looks at the contracts and throws the ''Raw'' contract to the ground. Eric lowers his head in sadness. Triple H and Ric cheer Batista, giving him thumbs up. Batista gives one right back, then slowly turns it down. He attacks both, tossing Ric out of the ring]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Ooh, Batista!
:'''Jerry''': What is he doing?!
:'''Jim Ross''': My god, Batista, the thumbs-down to the world's champion! Evolution's Animal!
:'''Jerry''' He almost took Triple H's head off, and he's dumped Naitch out of the ring! Wait a minute! ''[Batista sets Triple H up...]'' Wait a minute, Batista, what are you doing?! If you do this, there's no turning back! No!
:''[Batista powerbombs Triple H through the table]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my God Almighty! What a big powerbomb through the table! The world's champion through the table!
:''[Batista picks up the ''Raw'' contract and signs it over Triple H's prone body]''
:'''Batista''': Hunter, I'm staying right here on ''Raw'', and at WrestleMania, I'm taking the World Championship... ''[tosses contract clipboard at HHH]'' from you!
:'''Jim Ross''': Well, the deal is done. The untamed spirit of the animal known as Batista has made his decision. Batista will stay on ''Raw'', and Batista will go to WrestleMania 21. And if the deal is set and granted, Batista will come for the world's title against The Game, and it's gonna happen at WrestleMania 21.

=== February 28 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': I came out here with an agenda tonight, to make a statement. And the reason is that WrestleMania 21 is less than five weeks away. We've already announced some of the biggest matches in Mania history. From Batista vs. Triple H for the World Championship, from Cena to JBL for the WWE Championship, Michaels has challenged Angle, Hogan's in the Hall of Fame, Stone Cold Steve Austin on ''Piper's Pit''. Everybody wants to make an impact, so do I; everybody wants to be a part of history, so do I. I have an idea for a match to do that. {{W|Money in the Bank ladder match|It's a match that involves Y2J, five other elite WWE Superstars, a chance of a lifetime, and most importantly, one very big solid steel ladder.}}

=== May 16 ===
:''[Jonathan Coachman and Eric Bischoff have just shut down Chris Benoit and Tajiri's ECW Rules match]''
:'''Jonathan Coachman''': Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it! Stop this match right now! General Manager Eric Bischoff has been informed about what's going on out here. So the Coach would suggest that you climb down off that ladder, Chris Benoit, and listen up.
:''[Eric Bischoff's music hits and Eric Bischoff shows up]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Thank you, Coach. I wish I would've listened to you a little earlier because apparently, you two arranged for this match while I was busy attending other matters. Well, Benoit, you can get down off that ladder because I am officially ending this match right now! ''[audience boos]'' Look! Look! I never sanctioned any ECW match and I never would because ECW is pure garbage. As a matter of fact, from this moment on, I am banning ECW from ''Raw''. Oh, listen up! It will not be chanted in the building. It will not be discussed in the locker room. And then, if I see one ECW sign in my building, I will have it confiscated! And to make my point, I'm going to prohibit anybody from the Raw roster from participating at ECW's One Night Stand. Hell, I am going to ban the letters ECW from ''Raw''. And let me be perfectly clear, the only participation Raw is going to have at ECW's One Night Stand is when I personally show up with my volunteered group of Raw superstars and put an end to ECW once and for all.

===May 23===
:'''Jim Ross''': We're back here live at Green Bay on Monday Night RAW, the ECW Funeral.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Take it off. Take your hat off, JR, it's a funeral, for Chrissakes!

=== August 8 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': What do you think about Mr. McMahon rehiring Matt Hardy?
:'''Edge''': JR, what do I think about Vince McMahon's decision, Mr. McMahon's decision to rehire Matt Hardy? You know what? I think it's genius. Yeah. It's a moneymaking match. Here's a little known fact, though. You see, I actually went to Vince and I asked him to rehire Matt. Yeah. You see, because, with what I want to do to Matt Hardy, if I did that on the streets, what I'm gonna do at SummerSlam, I'd be in jail. You see, at SummerSlam, you're gonna witness legalized assault. Which is why I resent us being sequestered into this dressing room. You know, Matt Hardy has been re-signed to ''Raw'' and the lunatic is running around. Well, ''he's'' the one out of control, not me. But that's fine, that's cool, and Eric Bischoff wants to put security guards on the door, to protect us. We don't need the protection, he does! So I'm gonna ask them to leave, I want them to go. Yeah. I want them to get out of here, because Matt, I'm begging, I'm PLEADING, I want you to come in here. Come into the dressing room, come on BARGING in. Because you know what'll happen? You'll probably ''[mockingly]'' break down and have yourself a little cry, won't you Matt?
:You see, I saw your promo last week, Matt, and I think it was PATHETIC! It was absolutely pathetic, after all the months of dragging our names through the mud, our personal lives out there for everyone to see, AND THAT'S ALL YOU CAN MUSTER UP FROM YOUR STOMACH, FROM YOUR GUTS?! Well, my hands are shaking and it's from hate, it's from real emotion, Matt! ''[Points at his eyes]'' This is passion, this is intensity! This is real!
:I see why Lita left you for me. You know, you said last week you wanted me to get into a car accident. You see, for me, it's the opposite. I want you to be nice and safe, Matt. You get in the car and you strap that seat belt in tight. I want you 100%. Because at SummerSlam, I'm going to prove that you don't measure up to me as a man to me in any way. In any way. You whined and complained, and you bitched and moaned last week saying Lita was the girl of your dreams. You wanted to marry her. Matt, you were with her for six years but you never proposed. So let me fill in the blanks here, I figured it out. You see, nobody comes before Matt Hardy and his &quot;wrestling legacy.&quot; I heard you say it! Nothing comes before V1.
:So with that being said, Matt, you should thank me. It sounds strange, but you should thank me. You see, you've never gotten reactions like this before in your career. You're in the main event picture now, and why? Why? Because you're riding my coattails in. Yeah. You see, when you were defending the Cruiserweight Championship, running around with your little MFers, me, I was fighting Kurt Angle. Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, I EARNED MY MAIN EVENT STRIPES! I deserve to be where I am. And why are you here? Because your girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. Yeah. So Matt Hardy, the main event spotlight, it's shining on ya! Your 15 minutes in the spotlight, it's shining on ya, and I know it feels good. Well, we're 13 minutes into it and time is slowly ticking away. And at SummerSlam, Matt, I end it. Now I know that cuts close to the bone, I know it does, and I know it hurts. The truth usually does.

=== October 10 ===
:''[Everybody in the locker room gives Triple H the cold stare over turning on Ric Flair the week before, and he chances upon John Cena]''
:'''John Cena''': I don't know you, I ain't gonna judge you, but after last week, you lost some respect.
:'''Triple H''': ''[tries to walk away but gets back to Cena]'' You know, if I were you, the last thing I'd want to do is get my attention, you know what I mean? 
:'''John Cena''': You know me. You want some? ''[taps WWE Championship]'' Come get some!
:'''Triple H''': Don't you worry. When I want some, ''[angrily points to title]'' I'll take it! ''[leaves]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Linda McMahon appears after Vince and Stephanie fail to force JR to apologize over supporting Steve Austin as he Stunnered the McMahons the week before at Raw's USA Network return]''
:'''Linda McMahon''': ''[rebuffing Vince's assurance that they got the situation under control]'' Well, Vince as your devoted wife and Stephanie, as your mother, I just simply cannot let the two of you continue this way. Last week, when we returned to USA Network, it was a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning for the entire McMahon family. It was a chance for a clean slate. The only way to garner respect from people is not, Vince, by yelling and screaming, or Steph, by pitching a fit. It's by taking action. ''[to JR]'' So, JR, on behalf of the entire ''[looks at Vince and Stephanie]'' McMahon family... ''[long pause] YOU'RE FIRED!! [gives JR a low blow as Vince and Stephanie gleefully mock him bawled over]''

=== November 14 ===
:'''Vince McMahon''': Eddie Guerrero has passed away. Eddie was in the prime of his life, 38 years old, the prime of his career. So tonight, we celebrate the life of Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero loved this business. He loved it, he had a passion for it like no one else. Eddie loved to perform more than anything else, whether he was booed or whether he was cheered, he loved to perform for all of you. Eddie's goal every night, Eddie's goal every night was to steal the show. So tonight there's no doubt in anyone's mind that Eddie would want the show to go on and, so it shall tonight as we pay tribute to the memory of Eddie Guerrero. At this time, I would ask you all to stand in silence as we toll the bell 10 times, after which, there'll be a special video presentation. So if you would all please stand. Thank you.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shawn Michaels''': My memories of Eddie Guerrero have nothing to do with wrestling, nothing to do with the ring, because I never wrestled the man. It's all about faith. Eddie and I had a lot of wonderful talks about our faith, we were both born-again Christians, and the one thing I do know, we are assured of, that Eddie's last breath here was his first breath in eternity; and Eddie Guerrero and &quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels will someday get to wrestle in what is the very biggest stage of them all and it isn't WrestleMania, it is in the heavenlies in front of a crowd of one, and that is the lord of lords and the king of kings, Jesus Christ. And I want to thank Eddie Guerrero for always being there to be able to share that common faith with and to let him know that he did something that nobody has ever been able to do in the history of this business, and that is bring everybody in the WWE, from the top man to the bottom guy, bring them all together in prayer in the name of Jesus, and Eddie Guerrero left his last and greatest witness here with us today. And Eddie, I want to say God bless you and I will see you again, my friend.

== 2006 ==

=== May 1 ===
:''[After Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler humiliates Joey Styles on Raw]''
:'''Jerry''': Let me just say this: uh, during the break, I apologized to the fans here; right now, I wanna take this opportunity to apologize to you, Joey Styles, my fault, just trying to have a little fun, it got out of hand! I'm sorry, come back out and let's finish the rest of this show. My bad. Come on, Joey. ''[the crowd cheers]'' Come on, Joey! Come on back out here! ''[as Joey marches back out into the arena]'' Come on.
:''[Joey stands on the ramp and does not return to the desk]''
:'''Joey''': You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you? I'm not coming back, and now, thanks to the magic of live television, I’m gonna show the whole world why for seven years in ECW, I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary! Six months ago, WWE called ''me''! I didn’t call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn’t need a job. WWE called ''me'', because they had humiliated and fired, ''again,'' Jim Ross. So I get JR’s spot, and from WEEK ONE, week after week, I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say &quot;pro wrestling&quot;, I'm not allowed to say &quot;wrestler&quot;; I have to say &quot;sports entertainment&quot;, and refer to the wrestlers as &quot;superstars&quot;. I'm told to deliberately ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well, ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the ''wrestlers'', not the entertainers, who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in that ring! So here’s the best part. Because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller, I get pulled from WrestleMania, and the reason I’m given is, is because I don’t sound like Jim Ross, who’s the guy they fired in the first place, that makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy. I get bumped from WrestleMania. Then I get bumped...from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call ''Backlash''?! In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since! But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well, you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders! I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen, and I am sick of our chairman, who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God - he mocks ''God''! - and makes out the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am SICK of sports entertainment, and most of all, I'm sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! ''[the crowd boos]'' I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore. ''[takes the collar bearing the WWE logo off the microphone and throws it aside]'' I quit! ''[walks out]''
:'''Jerry''' ''[putting his headset back on]'': You know...we brought Joey Styles up from the gutter and it looks like he just got homesick; maybe Joey Styles will feel more at home in a bingo hall, kissing Paul Heyman's ass! Idiot.

=== July 17 ===

:'''Mick Foley''': Hello out there to all my fans right there in San Antonio, Texas! It's me Mick Foley in the WWE Studios and I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking, &quot;Isn't that the shirt Mick wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric on Halloween a few years ago?&quot; You're darn right it is, but I'm not here to talk about Katie Couric right now, or the beautiful Melina for that matter. I'm here to talk about the Nature Boy - Whooo! - Ric Flair and comments he made about me. You see, Ric was on the show last Monday actually bragging about beating me two straight falls in a two out of three falls match. You see Ric, I have a different take on things, you see I seem to remember you bludgeoned, bloody with your family in tears, which begs the question: Just what world do you inhabit Ric, where all those things can be construed as a positive!? How much worse could it have possibly have gotten!? Are you really under the impression I was trying to win the match? Because if I had been, I would have! The barbed wired bat under the ring was no accident, Ric. From the very get-go, I intended to leave you laying, and that is exactly what I did. And you're out there saying Mick Foley posing a challenge, anywhere, anyplace any match of your choosing. Well let me see... uh... I don't want to wrestle you anywhere, anyplace, in any type of match ever! What part of &quot;no rematch&quot; do you not understand? Let me put it in the words of a famous song: A no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, ''No rematch Ric!'' Yeah!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mick Foley''': Hello everybody, it's Mick Foley again in the WWE Studios and since we're live and since nobody can really stop me, I thought I'd give a shout out to my good friend Melina. Great match on Monday, I was really proud of you. But I'm really not here to talk about a Monday match, I'm here to talk about Ric Flair's hardcore match with the Big Show on ''ECW''. And Ric, I was impressed. I mean you got down, you got dirty, you got hardcore! You broke out the barb wire bat! You used thumbtacks, laying in a pile of them and as it turns out, you did it all in vain, Ric. Because no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how badly you wish I could grow something you could check out first hand, you get no rematch! See, three things happened at Vengeance Ric, I came, I saw, I kicked your old ass! And I have nothing left to prove to you! Now if you really want to me like Mick Foley, don't stop with the barb wire and thumbtacks. Wear a flannel on TV next week, drive a used mini-van, and sit in seat 26C next to the crapper! Or repeat after me as a paraphrase and old Michael Jackson song: He's out of my life, damned indecision and cursed pride. And it cuts like a knife, ''you're out of my life! You washed-up piece of crap!'' Yeah!

=== July 24 ===

:'''Shawn Michaels''': As many of you may know, a few weeks ago, Triple H and myself pulled a little bit of a prank on the McMahons. We told them that one Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor. And... well, that was a lie. ''[Looking up]'' Forgive me. As it would seem, however, life often imitates art. Because at this very moment, Stephanie McMahon is in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth to her first child. And of course, thankfully by her side are her father, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and her brother, Shane McMahon. But unbeknownst to them, my partner-in-crime Triple H, at this very moment, is in that same hospital.
:Now, somehow, he's got a little bit of an inside scoop into this whole pregnancy thing. You know... between you guys and me... I think he knows who the father is.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mick Foley''': What has become of Ric Flair? You see I'm in a state of disbelief because I watched ''Raw'' last Monday and found it hard to believe that Ric Flair resorted to calling me &quot;Fat Boy&quot;. Fat Boy, a name so effective he chose to use it twice and I have to admit the name hurt. Yeah, the name &quot;Fat Boy&quot; hurt when my brother used it on me 30 years ago. What has become of Ric Flair? You see it hurts me worse than anything just to see Ric Flair proving to the world, one of the all time great performers in our business, proving to the world that he had the creativity, the originality and the intellect of the average fourth grader. What has become of Ric Flair!? You see I thought I was going on a journey to meet the Great and Powerful Oz! And it turns out instead I see a weak and feeble man operating behind a curtain, digging into a bag of cliches because he's got nothing left to offer! &quot;To be the man, you've got to beat the man!&quot; &quot;I'm a 16-time world champion!&quot; &quot;All night long!&quot; blah blah blah. ''You make me sick Ric!'' What has become of you!? You've reduced yourself to being a second-rate circus side show, falling on thumbtacks on an ECW show, all in vain attempt to lure me back into the ring! It's not gonna work! What part of &quot;no&quot; did you not understand? I won't fight you here, there, or anywhere. What has become of you Ric Flair!? Because now not only are you a second-rate freak show, but you've resorted to attacking innocent, beautiful defenseless women. And even worse, Ric Flair, the woman you chose to attack was a friend of mine! Which means I'll be coming to New Jersey, Ric Flair, but I won't be coming to wrestle, but I will be coming to look you in the ring face to face and air our differences in a very public venue. And I swear to your Ric, you leave the cliches at home and you bring your heart and your mind or I will swat you away and embarrass you in front on national TV, you washed-up piece of crap! I'll see you next Monday on ''Raw''! Yeah!

=== August 21 ===
:''[The McMahons' limo has been stopped by a chain severing its rear axle and Vince and Shane are livid at the driver. Vince looks at the side of the limo...]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[reacts as the camera shows DX spray-painted on the side]'' Uh oh...
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh God...
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[violently kicks the car and screams]'' Dammit!! ''[holds his right ear as he screams and cries in anguish; Shane tries to comfort him as he breaks down]''
:'''Lawler''': I think it's happened. I think DX has broken Mr. McMahon!

=== October 9 ===
:''[Edge and Lita are in the ring for The Cutting Edge, having just invited Randy Orton on the show]''
:'''Edge''': Randy, thanks for - thanks for coming on the show, and...I'll get straight to the point. See, you've impressed me. You impressed me in 2004 when you became the youngest champion in WWE history. But, but since then, you've done absolutely nothing.
:'''Randy''' ''[standing up from his seat, shocked]'': Excuse me?
:'''Edge''' ''[stammering]'': Don't get me wrong, you've been involved in some huge matches: last year at WrestleMania against the Undertaker. This year at WrestleMania, Rey Mysterio, SummerSlam, Hulk Hogan, but...the thing is, you lost all those matches. You see, for two years straight, you have consistently dropped the ball.
:'''Randy''': You got two seconds to come up with a point...or I'm gonna drop you right now.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I knew it.
:'''Edge''': Okay. Okay. Okay, Randy, I have a point: you see, every - every misstep, every bump in the road since you became champion, it-it can be traced back to one single, solitary moment. Do you remember?, because if you don't, I'm gonna remind you right now. ''[pointing at the Titantron]'' Roll the footage. ''[footage shown of Orton in 2004 celebrating his World Heavyweight Championship, only for Triple H and the rest of Evolution to turn on him as Triple H starts attacking him]'' Do you remember that, Randy? Do you remember, you were on top of the world, you had it ALL!...but Triple H's selfishness cost you everything, ''everything''! I know you tried to pull it all back together, but let's face it, the facts are the facts! So you're probably asking yourself why, why would I care? And normally, I wouldn't. But these things have a, a tendency to repeat themselves. Jealousy rears its ugly head again, because, just last week, there was another travesty of justice. So once again, ''[gesturing to the Titantron]'' let's roll the footage. ''[footage from the previous week on Raw when D-Generation X interfered in Edge's steel cage match against John Cena for the WWE Championship, with Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music to Trevor Murdoch, causing Murdoch to inadvertently slam the cage door on Edge's head, being the main turning point]'' Shawn Michaels cost me the WWE Championship! The same man who, who taught Triple H every self-serving, power-hungry move he's ever known! And-and what did DX do when they came out here earlier? They...they made some cute little jokes. Because Randy, they think I'm a joke, they think ''you're'' a joke. And they're gonna continue to do that, until someone takes a stand. You see, Randy, I know you're not a joke, and I'm not a joke. The reason I called you out here tonight...is because I think those people that should take a stand...I think it's you, and me. We should own this show! We should have all the championships! We are the present and future of this industry, not some tired old act from a decade ago! So I tell you what, Randy, it's really simple: you can get mad at the things, the-the ''true'' things I said earlier and, you can fight me right now...or...you can join me. Join me and together we can take a stand against DX. We can beat DX! Take back our championships! Take back our lives, our ''careers''! So the ball's in your court. It's up to you.
:''[the crowd starts an &quot;RKO&quot; chant, much to Edge's chagrin]''
:'''Randy''': DX...as far as you running this show anymore is concerned, I've got two words for ya: it's over! ''[shakes Edge's hand and the two grin at one another]''

== 2007 ==

=== June 25 ===

:'''Vince McMahon''': Good evening. Tonight, this arena here in Corpus Christi, Texas, was to have been filled to capacity with enthusiastic WWE fans. Tonight’s storyline was to have been the alleged demise of my character, Mr. McMahon. However, in reality, WWE Superstar Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their son Daniel, are dead. Their bodies were discovered this afternoon in their new, suburban Atlanta home. The authorities are undergoing an investigation. We here in the WWE can only offer our condolences to the extended family of Chris Benoit, and the only other thing we can do at this moment is, tonight, pay tribute to Chris Benoit. We will offer you some of the most memorable moments in Chris’ professional life, and you will hear, tonight, comments from his peers; those here – his fellow performers – those here who loved Chris and admired him so much. So tonight will be a three-hour tribute to one of the greatest WWE superstars of all time. Tonight will be a tribute to Chris Benoit.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Edge''': ''[Referring to Chris Benoit's death]'' It's really confusing. I don't understand things like this, and I don't know if I ever will.

=== November 5 ===

:'''Triple H''': What the hell ''was'' all that?
:'''Shawn''': I gotta be honest with you. I mean, I feel like I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage, but this is the worst debacle since that whole Katie Vick years ago.
:'''Triple H''': You got a good point. But the thing is, I don't think ''anybody'' writes this crap—[[w:2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike|they're on strike]]. ''[The crowd cheers]'' But we're not!

== 2008 ==

===March 31 ===
:'''&quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair''': WOOOO! Last night, I wrestled my very last match at [[w:WrestleMania XXIV|WrestleMania]]. I will never, ever, wrestle in this ring again. ''[The crowd boos this]'' Please... please... I... I... I'm not sad about not wrestling. You shouldn't be sad about the fact that you're not gonna see me out here. You should rejoice in the fact that I HAVE HAD THE GREATEST WRESTLING CAREER IN THE HISTORY OF PRO WRESTLING! ''[The crowd erupts at this]'' And last night, even though I lost, I lost to a great, great, great wrestler and a better man! ''[The crowd boos at mention of Shawn Michaels]'' It's true... Rejoice in the fact that I have wrestled in front of more fans, raised more hell, had more fun, and loved all of you every day of my life! I swear to God! I've been teared up all day long with the thought of not being able to come out here anymore, but I'm off! I'm off, and I'm in a good place, and I love you! ''[As he speaks, &quot;Thank you, Ric&quot; chants start within the crowd]'' Please... Let me say to you, I wanna thank you for the memories, thank you for the support, and most of all, thank you all for making me who I am today. WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO! ''[begins to leave, until he is cut off by the music and arrival of Triple H]''
:'''Triple H''': Ric, if you think these people here in Orlando are the only ones that want to say thank you, if you think that the millions of people watching on TV are the only ones that want to say thank you... well then, my friend, you've got another thing coming. ''[embraces Flair]'' Because I just... I had to come out here and I had to tell you something from the bottom of my heart... I love you, man. ''[shakes Flair's hand]'' And thank you. Thank ''you''. ''[bows down to Flair and then embraces him again]'' Now, that takes care of me, but there are a few other people that wanted to say thank you too, and... there's one group of guys I started talking to earlier today, and it's the craziest thing, 'cause ever since I talked to them, my hand's been cramping up like this... ''[Makes a familiar sign; Flair smiles, knowing what this means. The sound of horses' hooves and whinnying only serve to confirm the obvious, as out come:]'' TULLY BLANCHARD! J.J. DILLON! ARN ANDERSON! BARRY WINDHAM! THE FOUR HORSEMEN!
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[As the aforementioned Horsemen enter the ring and embrace Flair]'' This will be the first time the Horsemen have been together since 1988. All four of them in the ring. ''[No further commentary is uttered.]''
:'''Triple H''': ''[As he introduces each of the next seven individuals, that individual enters the ring to pay his respects to Flair]'' The Animal... and the [[w:Evolution (professional wrestling)|Evolution]], Ric, of Batista... Ricky &quot;The Dragon&quot; Steamboat... The seven-time [[w:NWA World Heavyweight Championship|World Champion]], Harley Race... Greg &quot;The Hammer&quot; Valentine... Another Horseman, Dean Malenko... Y2J, Chris Jericho... John Cena! ''[After Cena has paid his respects, &quot;[[w:Angels &amp; Devils (Fuel album)|Leave The Memories Alone]]&quot; by [[w:Fuel (band)|Fuel]] plays as:]'' Ric, here comes your family. Ric's wife Tiffany, Megan, [[w:David Flair|David]], [[w:Reid Flair|Reid]], and [[w:Charlotte Flair|Ashley]]! ''[By this time, Flair is completely in tears as his wife and children enter the ring and embrace the Nature Boy. After the crowd reacts, they falls silent as Shawn Michaels, still clearly upset over retiring Flair the previous night, enters the ring. The two make up and embrace]'' Ric... First of all, I've gotta say: those are sweet watches. ''[pointing out the gold watches both Flair and Michaels are wearing]'' Those match; those are cool. Anyway... ''[laughs and taps the microphone]'' Is this still on? OK, that is... anyway, we could keep this going on all night because there's just so many people. But I'll tell you what: Anybody left that wants to come out here and say thank you to Ric Flair, come on out! ''[&quot;[[w:...To Be Loved|...To Be Loved]]&quot; by [[w:Papa Roach|Papa Roach]], then the'' Raw ''theme, plays as the locker room empties, line up on the ramp and chant &quot;Thank you, Ric&quot; with the audience]''

=== June 9 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': Yes, I do have a question, I'm gonna get to that. But first I wanna make a little observation. I mean, like we just heard, obviously our fans, they love you no matter what it is you do. ''[to the cheering fans]'' No matter what, right? Case in point, you feigned a knee injury for almost a month, you blatantly lied about it to me, you lied to Batista...
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now that might be splitting hairs here, but I was very clear about the fact that I was gonna do whatever it took to win...and I did that. I didn't lie to Batista, I didn't lie to the people. Technically, the only person I lied to was...you.
:'''Jericho''': All right, fair enough, I'll...I'll take that. Touche. Regardless of all that, when you finally admitted the truth and super-kicked me right in the face, you got cheered more than ever. I mean, it's... ''[off the cheers]'' see? I mean, I'm adored by the fans as well, but not even I could get away with that one. And when I pointed out your fabrication of the truth, suddenly I got booed. ''[The crowd boos]'' See? You pull a fast one on 'em and they adore you, and yet whenever I try to do the right thing, whether it be tell the truth or not hit you with a chair, not hit JBL with a chair, I got booed. You know. It seems like our fans, even the ones here, would rather boo an honest man and cheer for you. I mean, it doesn't take much to get them to start chanting, &quot;HBK!&quot; You know, it's...HBK, HBK!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' HBK!
:'''Jericho''': So that brings us to my question, and my question is this. How does Shawn Michaels, HBK, one of the greatest performers of all time and one of the most highly-decorated superstars in the history of this business, turn into such a lying, cheating, pathetic little worm of a human being?

== 2010 ==

=== January 11 ===

:'''[[w:The Miz|The Miz]]''': ''[outside the WWE Superstars Locker Room]'' When I first came to World Wrestling Entertainment, not a single person respected me. Not anyone out in the WWE universe, and not anyone in the WWE locker room. Everybody wanted to get rid of me. Nobody could stand me! They made my life a living hell. As a matter of fact, in this very locker room I got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken over a referee’s bag and spilling some crumbs.
:''[Walks away]'' For 6 months, 6 months, I was banned from the WWE locker room. I would have to find a place to change, a place to shower, a place to use the restroom. I walked down these halls and see superstars like JBL. And everyday that JBL saw me, he would sarcastically say, &quot;Miz, I look forward to your amazing work! Miz, you are a gift from God, Miz!&quot;
:Everybody berated me. Everybody ridiculed me. Everybody wanted me to quit. But all that negativity, I used as fuel to ignite a wrath against everyone in the WWE to become the star I am today. Now I don't even ''go'' in that locker room because I have a private dressing room just for me. ''That'' locker room is for the Evan Bournes and the MVPs. ''[He is now on the arena floor]'' The same MVP that is the #1 contender for the United States Championship. So congratulations, MVP. You have earned the right to join a long list of people to get publicly humiliated by me.
:MVP doesn't even deserve to be in the same ring as me. ''[He is now in the ring]'' If it was up to me, MVP would still be in jail. I don't believe in second chances, because I have been perfect my entire life. Yet you mistakes all still boo me and cheer him. Well, go ahead, boo me, cheer MVP, I don't care. I'd rather you all hate me for everything I am, than love me for something I'm not! I am the reason you people watch ''Monday Night Raw'', not MVP! I am the most captivating and entertaining superstar on this brand, not MVP!
:MVP comes out here with his glitz and glam, his pyro, his ballin'. He's got Breitling diamond watches, designer suits. That's great MVP, because let's face facts, MVP. You could put diamonds on a dog, but it's still a mutt. All you mistakes will respect me, everybody in that locker room will respect their United States Champion! Because I'm The Miz...and I'm...AWESOME!

=== November 22 ===

:'''The Miz''': I told you. I told you all. I...told...you...all I would be Champion!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': You thought Randy Orton and Wade Barrett was the story; you thought John Cena being fired was the story; and then The Miz, Mr. Money in the Bank, comes out, cashes in, and he tells the world that ''he'' is the true story. He is the WWE Champion.
:'''Michael Cole''': Ladies and gentlemen, the Era of Awesomeness has begun on Monday Night Raw!

== 2011 ==

=== April 11 ===
:'''Edge''': You may to have to bear with me a little bit. I’m probably gonna ramble and not make much sense, but just please bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn't hurt. That what we do, maybe it’s done with smoke and mirrors, and I wish that were true. But anybody in that locker room, anybody who has ever stepped foot in here, laced up a pair of boots—they know that’s not the case. 
:Which brings me to what I am about to tell you. Eight years ago, I broke my neck. I had spinal fusion surgery, which means they move your throat over, they put a plate in there, and screws, and it’s really in-depth surgery. But because of that surgery, I knew that I was...I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward, and...the last, the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I...I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So...I passed strength tests and all of those things, and I made it through [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania XVII|WrestleMania]]. But the WWE wanted me to go get more tests. And thankfully I did, because the MRI showed that...that I have to retire. ''[The crowd is visibly shocked]'' I mean, trust me, it’s not my choice. The doctors have told me that I got no choice. And thankfully, they found out because I’m not gonna end up in a wheelchair now.
:''[The crowd starts cheering for him, chanting &quot;Thank you, Edge.&quot;]''
:This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was gonna be. So, you know...thank you, guys.
:I’ll tell ya, this has been an emotional roller coaster of a week for me and I’m not going to lie. I felt sorry for myself. I...until I talked to Christian. And for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years. And you see I was angry, I was angry at myself, I was angry at my body. Because I felt like there’s a lot of people in this company that depend on me, and I felt like I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. But then, you know, I was upset too, because I did not feel like I was ending this on my terms. But he reminded me that, that I have competed my whole career on my terms.
:I...you know, I’m still like all of you. I am a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go down to the Maple Leaf Gardens and we would watch all of our favorites. We would watch The Legion of Doom, we’d watch Demolition, we’d watch...we’d watch Hulk Hogan, we’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. And then I went to WrestleMania VI and I watched Hulk Hogan against The Ultimate Warrior, and I said, “I’m doing this one day.” And you know what? Fast forward a whole bunch of years, and I’m main eventing WrestleMania against The Undertaker. There’s no way I ever would have dreamed of that. There’s no way if you told me when I was eleven years old that I would win more championships than anyone in the history of this company, no way I would've believed you. And if you had told me that my last match would be at WrestleMania in one of the main events defending the World Heavyweight Championship, and that I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion. Man, I couldn't dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn't.
:You know, I...I started in the WWE when I was 23. I mean, I have been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10th, 1996 at Hamilton’s Copps Coliseum. And...I was 23 years old, and I feel like I've grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I've made a whole lot of mistakes in front of you. I've learned from them, and I've become a man in front of you. I've gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him, to a pseudo-vampire in The Brood, to one of the funny, goofy guys along with Christian, posing for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in the history of the WWE. As a matter of fact, I got thrown in the Long Island Sound. I had a live sex celebration, thankfully with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all, I've earned the respect of everyone in that locker room. And I hope that I've earned all of your respect. Because no matter what, no matter what, I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night. And in turn, you guys gave it right back to me.
:So, I’m gonna miss all of this. All of it. I’m gonna miss that reaction when I hear my music and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys, and it’s amazing. I can’t describe it. But, that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow and I am gonna go eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight. But if you asked me if I would do all of this again. All the way back from getting hired by J.R. If you asked me if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, all the surgeries, all of the injuries, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it. If you asked me if I’d do it again…in a heartbeat. So, thank you, thank you very much.

=== June 20 ===
:'''[[Phil Brooks|CM Punk]]''': July 17, 2011 will be the most historic day, not only in the career of CM Punk, it's gonna be a historic day for the WWE as a whole. Not only is July 17 the second annual Money in the Bank ladder match pay-per-view, it's the night I defeat John Cena for the WWE Championship. And now, here's that honesty I was talking about, that honesty that's probably gotten me in trouble more times than I like to admit. The brutal honesty I'm known for. July 17 is the day my contract with World Wrestling Entertainment comes to an end. That means when the clock strikes midnight, the 17 becomes the 18, Sunday bleeds into Monday, I'm leaving. And trust me when I tell you. I am leaving with the WWE Championship.

=== June 27 ===
:'''CM Punk''': John Cena, while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I ''do'' like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best...because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as ''[[w:Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne]]'' though—he's a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. ''[Turns to camera and waves]'' Whoops, I'm breaking the fourth wall.
:I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
:I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that—they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I'm the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show! I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
:''[Turns to the fans]'' Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else, because you're the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job!
:I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. ''[Waves to camera]'' Hey, [[w:Colt Cabana|Colt Cabana]], how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone, you're still gonna pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel's gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's 'cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like [[w:John Laurinaitis|John Laurinaitis]] who's gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon's dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic [[w:Stephanie McMahon|daughter]] and his doofus [[w:Triple H|son-in-law]] and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. All right. We're doing this whole bullying campaign...''[The mic cuts off]''

=== July 11 ===
:'''CM Punk''': You wanna have fun? Let's have fun.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[on the contract]'' I've got everything in here you want...
:'''CM Punk''': Because ''my'' lawyers looked over your contract, Vince, and frankly, it just wasn't up to par, so I had them draw up a new one. I have it right here; my signature's already on it, all you've got to do is sign it. I...do think you should know about a couple new perks that I've added to it. You say you don't think contractual things should happen in public? Let's ask the WWE Universe—you people want this to go down in public? ''[The crowd cheers]'' You wanna hear a couple new perks?
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Don't push me.
:'''Audience member''': What?
:'''CM Punk''': He said, &quot;don't push me.&quot; Did you already look at this? Did somebody stooge this off? Because this is actually provision #1—''[pushes McMahon in his seat]'' that I get to push you. Vince, I'll push you all I want..Vince, I'll kick you in the nuts and you'll smile at me and like it, and show me some respect! Because if you don't, I find the nearest paper shredder, I throw this puppy in there, and Sunday, I leave with your WWE Championship.
:Provision #1—for a Superstar such as myself, first class travel is not good enough. I want my own jet. And I don't want your jet—your jet smells, don't try to pawn that thing off on me—I want my own jet.
:[Provision] #2—my face will be on everything. I want my face on the TitanTron, I want my face on these turnbuckles, I want cups, posters, spoons, knives, forks, shoes, socks. I want everything with my face on it; number-one thing I want you to bring back—the WWE Ice Cream Bars. ''[The crowd cheers and chants &quot;WE WANT ICE CREAM!&quot;]'' Look at that, I just made you a million dollars in ice cream sales.
:I want WWE Films to immediately start production on ''CM Punk: The Movie''! You can call it ''The Chaperone 2'', except mine will be funny and entertaining and successful.
:And one last thing—the main event of WrestleMania being John Cena against your buddy Dwayne? That's The Rock, for nobody who watches bad Disney movies. You can still have that little fantasy, but the match that I compete in at WrestleMania will be the main event.
:Those are just a few of many new perks that my lawyers have added to the contract. The last thing that this contract states is that you apologize to me. I know, Vince McMahon doesn't apologize, right? But you will apologize to me for suspending me last week; you will apologize... Hell, you know what? I'm gonna be honest, you're not just apologizing to me, you're apologizing to these people for being one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen in my entire life. As far as your anti-bullying campaign goes, you are one of the biggest bullies I've ever met in my entire life, and you will apologize. I have had friends, very talented friends, work for this company and be unceremoniously fired.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': They deserved it!
:'''CM Punk''': They deserved it? They deserved it? Why? Because you don't know what makes a superstar in 2011?! You don't know what these people want?! You wanna punish people for actually liking professional wrestling, guys like Colt Cabana and guys like Luke Gallows?! Huh?! You will apologize to me, for them, because they can't be here right now, and they can't stand up to you, and they can't let their voice be heard! I am CM Punk, and I am the voice of the voiceless, and you will apologize, and you will like it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': I'm not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say ''I've'' lost sight? ''I've'' lost sight of things, ''John''? The reason I say I'm gonna take that and walk out is because I ''don't'' fit a certain mold. Because ''I'' am the underdog, and that's exactly what ''you've'' lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and you said that ''they'' used to look at you and think that the kid couldn't hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can't hang. John, I was hanging off of your gangster car, WrestleMania 22, as it rolled down in Chicago, Illinois, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as ''[points to Vince McMahon]'' that man looks right now in his suit, holding a phony Tommy gun, and I said to myself someday, I'm not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be standing in the ring watching you go down to CM Punk. And now here we are in your hometown of Boston. And now next week, we'll be back there in my hometown—Chicago, Illinois. And this...this is the part where I talk 'em into the building. See, ''you'' are the one that's lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I'm not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I've lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for hustle, loyalty and respect; who, from Boston, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these red colors, the same colors as your beloved Red Sox, who ''also'' portray themselves as the underdog, I'm sure just like the Bruins portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Patriots think they're the underdog! Hey, how about those Celtics? Are they the underdogs too? Here's what you've lost sight of, John, and I'm really happy that your father and your wife are sitting in the front row so they can hear it!
:'''John Cena''': That's the last time I'm gonna tell you, ease up.
:'''CM Punk''': What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time WWE Champion! You're the man! Ladies and gentlemen, the Champ is here. You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees! ''[John immediately punches Punk, who scoots out of the ring, grabs the contract, and goes up the ramp. Points respectively to Vince and John]'' You're Steinbrenner, and you might as well be Jeter! Mr. 3000, ''I'm'' the underdog! ''[John's music plays for fourteen seconds]'' Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I'm positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because ''they wanna hear it!'' I'm glad you just punched me in the face, John. I'm glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning—exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It's because I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John, Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk! ''[Rips up the contract]'' I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.

===July 18===
:'''John Cena''': Relax, relax, relax, relax. I'm not gonna go on a profanity-ridden tirade. You don't need a seven-second-delay, Kevin. I'm not gonna show my genitalia. I'm not gonna talk bad about your family or your company. And I know exactly what you're about to do, and I'm okay with it. Because I'm not gonna have to go through the same things that you made Shawn Michaels go through. Shawn Michaels, the best performer ever to step in this ring. But you made him bent over backwards and for all that he accomplished, for all of his achievements, for years, all they said about HBK was that he screwed Bret! No matter how many championships he won, no matter how many times he stopped the show, he carried that burden, and it began to define him, and he had to take it with him his entire career. And you know what? I thought about that a lot last week, Vince, and I put myself in his shoes. If I was in his shoes, would I want to be the guy who screwed Bret? Would I want to be the guy that screwed CM Punk? My answer was no.
:I knew exactly what was at stake. I asked for the match. The WWE Championship, my career. But there was more than that. There was more than just John Cena vs. CM Punk in a classic. It was about you. It was about you wanting to keep your little bubble intact - your little universe in one piece. Nobody can embarrass Vince McMahon. And to do that, you thought you needed somebody to play ball, and I was gonna be your patsy. No way! And I know I'm not supposed to say his name, but, Punk, if you are out there watching: It was one hell of a match last night, son. Thank you so much.
:''[over Vince's protests]'' Hey, hey, hey, listen. You put me in a position to make a decision. You wanted the match thrown out. I don't do business like that. You're a businessman, you got your way of doin' business. I do my business a certain way, I am not gonna play along with that crap because you would have made the WWE Championship meaningless. So here's the skinny. I had a great career here. And he says he can make another one of me. Fine, Vince, go ahead. Make one, make ten. I don't care. I've even given you some time. You have eight months—-give or take a few days—-to find another opponent for Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson at WrestleMania XXVIII. I'm not an idiot, Vince. You'll do some hocus-pocus and you'll find somebody for Dwayne, and WrestleMania will go off without a hitch as if I was never even here. I get it. Meanwhile I get to walk outta here with my pride and my dignity.
:So before we get into the formalities and the big Vince-McMahon-walk and the whole speech, which I'm gonna let you do. Go ahead. It's what they know you for. I just need to tell you something. And I want this to sink in. I love the WWE and I truly believe I belong here. And, man, I hate saying this. But if you're about to tell me that I'm not welcome here, if you're about to tell me that I have no other option, I love this. This is what I do. And if you make me walk tonight, then I will walk on someone else's television show and keep doing this, ''brother!'' That is no threat, that is a promise. And here's the skinny. There's a lot people out there that say I do a lot of things. But I prove tonight that one thing I will not do is kiss your ass!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Triple H appears as Vince seeks to fire John Cena]''
:'''Triple H''': Vince. Sorry I got here as quickly as I could. There was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, last night we flew from Chicago here. When I got there, I received a phone-call. I got back on the jet and I flew to the office, where there was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, the board asked me to come here to talk to you. They are concerned about the current situation. Can we just go and talk about this in the back, please? I tried to get out here, Vince, before you came to the ring, but I didn't make it. More specifically, the board is concerned about you. Don't get me wrong. They completely understand you have built the global empire. All of this, every single bit of it is because of you and your vision. That's a given. But at the same point in time, Vince, the board is concerned about your extremely questionable - their term, their words - extremely questionable decisions as of late. Vince, the board has asked me to come here to tell you, that they have filed an injunction against you with the vote of no-confidence. And Vince, the family agrees.

:On top of that, Vince, the board has appointed someone to take over the day-to-day operations of the WWE. And — I can't — I can't even believe I'm gonna say this, but Vince, it's me. ''[audience chants for Cena]'' Vince, you're not gonna fire John Cena. You're not gonna be doing anything else. Vince, you taught me from day one - from day one - that nobody is bigger than this business. Nobody. And this is just business. I can't even believe I'm gonna say this and Vince this is with all due respect: I am here to inform you — that, Vince, you are relieved of your duties. ''[&quot;Hey, Goodbye' chants, Vince is evidently sad]'' Please — understand. I did not wanna do this. I'm tryin' to do what's right for the business. Look at me — Look at me! I love you, pa! And I'm sorry. ''[leaves Vince]''

===August 8===
:''[At CM Punk and John Cena's Undisputed Title match contract signing for SummerSlam, Triple H makes asides to Punk not showing up when needed]''
:'''CM Punk''': Wait a minute, I'm gutless, I'm a phony, I'm gutless? Let's analyze that, who fires people around here, ''[points at HHH]'' you or Funkman ''[points at John Laurinaitis]'' over here, huh? Who, let me ask you a question, Johnny Funkman. You personally face to face, fire Vladimir Kozlov on Friday? Huh did you fly yourself to Florida to tell Harry Smith - yes, his name his Harry Smith, not David Hart Smith that he was no longer needed here, huh? Did you tell Chris Masters - somebody who has worked his ass off to get better, did you fire him face to face or did you call him up and say &quot;hey kid, it's a budget thing. Best of luck on your future endeavors&quot; - don't call me gutless! You have him do your dirty work! This isn't about him ''[John Laurinaitis]'' This isn't about you. ''[HHH]''

== 2012 ==

=== February 27 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': Listen, I know you've got a big match, Champion vs. Champion, but what I have to say is a little bit more important. Before I say it, let me preface it by saying one thing. I think you're an amazing performer, Punk. I think you're very, very good. As a matter of fact, you're one of my favorites, but you're not as good as I am. You're not as good as me. You're not the best in the world at everything you do, and you know it.
:You see, I never had to call myself the best in the world; other people said it for me. These people said it for me. And I never had to write it on the back of a t-shirt; they would write it on signs and bring it to the arena. And the reason for that is this—I am part of a special breed of performers. I am one of a literal dying breed of performers that toured the world, honing our craft, learning our skills, becoming stars before we ever got to the WWE. A breed that cared more about having the best match on the show than personal politics, didn't care what the hierarchy thought of us, what position we were slotted in, what we were supposed to be. A breed of performers that were given nothing and took everything. And yeah, I developed a chip on my shoulder because of it; and yeah, I got a bad attitude and a bad reputation in the back with the powers that be because of it; but I didn't give a damn because I knew I was good. I knew I was the best.
:And now, Punk, you're just like me. You're a maverick, a rebel that went against the grain and became something more than anybody thought that you would. But in translation, that's because you just want to be me. You're a Chris Jericho wannabe, just like all these Chris Jericho wannabes, and it's so obviously...''[to the booing crowd]'' oh yeah, you know it's true. It's so obviously blatant by the fact that you plagiarize me every step of the way...
:'''CM Punk''': Stop. Stop. Just stop.
:'''Chris Jericho''': Don't you tell me to stop, boy. I'm talking to you.
:'''CM Punk''': And I'm listening, but I think everybody else is sick of listening, so I'm gonna go ahead. Look, Chris, I know how good you are, these people know how good you are. My problem I have with you is you coming out here and insinuating that I've stolen ''anything'' from you. No, I've never plagiarized anything in my life. Everything I have, ''[holding up WWE Championship]'' I've fought for and I've earned. It's right here.
:You think you invented saying that you were the best? Are you kidding me? There's a guy I remember watching when I was a kid—you probably watched him when you were a kid, too—his name's Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart, the best there is, ''[crowd says it with him]'' the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Did you invent that? Did you give that to him when you were, what, two years old? Huh? He's Canadian too. Did you invent him being Canadian? Did you invent Canada?
:'''Chris Jericho''': Oh, yeah, laugh along. Laugh it up with Punk. Laugh along with Punk. Very nice. Because it's oh so typical, Punk. So smarmy, sarcastic, never taking anything too seriously, right? Well you need to take me seriously, Punk, 'cause this is a whole different level. A whole different level from anything that you've ever had before. Because like I said, this isn't some kind of gimmick. I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I prove it every night as I have for the last 22 years. Staying on the highest level of any performer in the history of this business. ''[to the crowd]'' You can boo if you want, but you know it's the damn truth.
:I have faced every legend, every Hall-of-Fame, future Hall-of-Fame performer in this ring and beaten them all. I've won dozens of championships, I've had dozens of classic matches, classic WrestleMania steal-the-show matches, dozens of moments that will be legendary long after either one of us are gone. ''[Crowd chants &quot;CM Punk!&quot;]'' You can chant it all you want, but I am not just telling you, I am proving to you with all the evidence that standing right in front of you is the literal, undeserved, undoubtful best in the world at everything I do!
:'''CM Punk''': You know, you keep ''saying'' that, and your words just scream superiority. But I watch you and the way you walk out here and the inflection in your voice and certainly your body language—it screams ''inferiority''. Who you trying to prove? You're trying to prove to ''me'' that you're the best, or are you trying to prove to these people that you're the best, or are you trying to prove to ''yourself'' that you're the best? I say I'm the best in the world, and yeah, that's a little cocky, but confidence is nothing that I've ever lacked, and it's nothing I thought you lacked. But now that confidence, Chris, seems to be replaced with jealousy.
:You look at me and you see a guy that emerged from the same shadows you did. He came from the same places you did, he overcame the same obstacles you did. But now he's ''surpassed'' everything that you did, didn't he? Because sure, you beat legends. You beat the Stone Cold and you beat Rock in the same night ten years ago, and that made you the WWE Champion. But you were never really the ''man'', like how I'm the ''man'', were you? And that just bothers you a little bit, doesn't it? You have a Napoleon clompl—complex because of it, so you come back and you try to point fingers and place the blame. The blame's only on you.
:See, ''you'' say that you're the best in the world at what you do, and I say that I'm the best ''wrestler'' in the world. The distinction, to me, is very simple. This is nothing I chose, I was born this way. This is who I am, this is what I do, while you choose to leave and write books and have a radio show and be on game shows, and you choose to be a rock star. And all the while, I'm here ON TOP, swimming with sharks while you're [[w:Dancing with the Stars (U.S. season 12)|dancing with stars]]!
:'''Chris Jericho''': When I was dancing with stars, Punk, and killing it on the Tonight Show and becoming a bigger star than you ever were, all I could of was one thing, and that was you ripping me off. Every single night, you ripping me off, Punk. And let me be completely clear and honest with you. All of those January 2nd vignettes and the &quot;best in the world&quot; verbiage and this light-up, flashy, fancy jacket—it's all window dressing. Because I came back to the WWE for one reason and one reason only, and that was to embarrass you on the biggest stage in the world, to take back what is mine, to beat you for that World Title at WrestleMania, and shove down your throat that I am the best in the world at what I do! I prove it, I claim it, I AM IT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!
:'''CM Punk''': Well, that's all you had to say. When you came back, you didn't have to jump me to get my attention. All you had to do was grab me and say, &quot;hey, Punk! Me and you, best in the world vs. best in the world at WrestleMania!&quot;
:See, this is the time of year everybody points at that sign, but I'm gonna point at my Championship title, because to me, I don't need Chris Brown and you don't need Mickey Rourke, and we don't need all the pyro in the world or inflatable letters to tell everybody how ''awesome'' we are, and I don't need a fancy entrance, and screw your stupid Lite-Brite jacket! The only thing ''we'' need is me and you in a ring, and on April 1st, we're gonna find out exactly who the best in the world is. Because to me, those are the only ingredients we need in the recipe to have what quite possibly could be the greatest wrestling match in WrestleMania history. But see, I have something you covet, and I say come and get it. And at the end of the night, when you're looking over your shoulder on the ramp and you see this, ''[Puts down the mic and yells to the crowd]'' &quot;Best in the world!!!&quot; ''[Picks the mic back up and resumes talking to Jericho]'' It's not gonna be the end of ''the'' world, it's just gonna be the end of ''yours''.

=== March 12 ===

:'''Chris Jericho''': Yeah, congratulations. Way to go, Punk, way to go. Congratulations on your big win. You need to enjoy them while you can. You see, you can smirk if you want to, but I see straight through you. When I look at you, I see a fraud. And I'm not talking about the fact that you call yourself the best in the world, I'm talking about you as a person. Because I did a little research this week, Punk, and I found something, a little deep, dirty, dark secret about you. You've been straight edge ever since you came to the WWE, but you've never explained the reasons why. I wanna tell all of these wannabes why you're straight edge. I wanna tell them that you're straight edge because your father is an alcoholic.
:Yeah, that's right. Your father was an alcoholic who let you down every step of the way when you were growing up, and it terrifies you. You don't want to end up like him. But it's inevitable that you will, because alcohol is in your blood, it's in your genes, it's part of who you are, and that tortures you. I know you've built this facade, this wall that you're a sarcastic antihero with not a care in the world, but I think I've found something that you care about. I've found something that gives you nightmares, something that terrifies you.
:And isn't it ironic that the very alcohol that you crave is the same thing that ruined your childhood? Oh, the nightmares you must have about your father; I almost feel bad for you, Punk. Is that the reason why you have all those tattoos? Was the pain of wanting to drink so bad that you needed the pain of a tattoo needle to take it out of your mind? Was that your only solace?
:It doesn't matter if it is, Punk, because you are going to drink eventually, and I'm the one who is going to make you drink. At WrestleMania XXVIII, I'm going to take away your title, I'm gonna take away your claims of being the best in the world, I'm gonna take away your bravado, and I'm gonna leave you a broken man. You're gonna hit bottom, Punk, and when you do, you're going to embrace your destiny, and you're gonna take a drink. And it's gonna taste so good that you're gonna wanna take another one, and another one, and another one. After April 1st, I'm gonna be recognized for who I am—the undisputed best in the world and the new WWE Champion. And you're gonna be recognized for who you are, who your father was—a pathetic damn drunk!

=== May 21 ===

:'''John Cena''': I, I, I... I've had a lot of these matches. I've won some. I've lost some. But win, lose, or draw, every single Monday, I come out here and say, &quot;You know what? It was great. Congratulations to my opponent. Let's move on.&quot;
:'''Michael Cole''': Can't do that, can he?
:'''John Cena''': What the hell happened? What the hell? What the hell? John Laurinaitis beat me. John Laurinaitis... he... he beat me. You know, you know, here's the thing, it's not how, it's not how it happened. It's why the hell would something like that happen in the first place! ''[frustrated grunt]'' Okay. You know, ever since he's been here, and all of you can attest to this, John Laurinaitis has been a selfish, power-hungry bully. And last night, John Laurinaitis got a taste of his own medicine. You guys saw some of the photos. If you were there and you watched it, we were having a blast! It was great! It was everything that it was supposed to be! That was what People Power was about! He was getting his tail whipped! I was having fun! You were having fun! And we all knew that he was gonna be gone! And then, he ran away and Big Show brought him back. Big Show: the guy that John Laurinaitis humiliated in this ring. The guy that John Laurinaitis fired in this ring. He brought him back, and then it was fun again. Big Show threw him in the ring and he had that giant hand around Laurinaitis' scrawny neck and you could watch him back. He looked in his eyes. I was right over here. I gave him a nod. I said, &quot;Show, I got this one.&quot; He looked in my eyes and he said, &quot;Yeah, you do.&quot; And he gave me John Laurinaitus to make sure I finish the job and... and John Laurinaitis would be terminated! And then, Big Show, a man that I used to call a friend, knocked me out cold. He knocked me out cold and your winner was John Laurinaitis.
:'''Jerry ''': I have never seen John Cena shook up his ears right now.
:'''John Cena''': Hindsight being 20/20, there are some &quot;experts&quot; out there that are saying, &quot;Well, why did you toy with him?&quot; &quot;Why'd you spray him with a fire extinguisher?&quot; Or, &quot;Why did you pour water all over him?&quot; &quot;You should have just beat him.&quot; Hey, geniuses, if you already paid off the Big Show, if John Laurinaitis was in any jeopardy of losing that match, the giant was gonna beat me anyway. I am glad that I did every single thing that I did to John Laurinaitis because he damn sure deserved that and ten times more! What I'm not glad about is The Big Show, the world's largest athlete deciding to sell out. I don't even know what he is thinking about. There is no possible explanation to explain exactly what he did! What the hell was he thinking? John Laurinaitis was gonna be gone! He is the world's largest athlete. I don't care who the next general manager was. Vickie Guerrero. Teddy Long. ''[pointing to audience]'' This guy over here in the third row. Hell, bring the computer back. And... ''[making noise]'' the first random e-mail would be, &quot;May I have your attention please? I have just received an e-mail that says we're hiring The Big Show back.&quot; But instead, he Benedict Arnold me, knocked me out and we are... we are stuck! Show, this was not about John Cena losing, this match was about John Laurinaitis winning! We are stuck! We are stuck with this People Power garbage! Which means, now, probably you're gonna see some graphic or something and he's gonna come out here and ''[mimicking John Laurinaitis]'' tell you guys how brave he is. And how badly he's hurt. And what a... what a great new plan that he's got for the next pay-per-view in the name of People Power. This is crap!
:''[John Laurinaitis' music plays, but Eve Torres comes out}''
:'''John Cena''': Wow, John Laurinaitis, you got really hot, but you still suck.
:'''Eve Torres''': Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, the permanent general manager of both Raw and Smackdown, and the man who beat John Cena last night, Mr. John Laurinaitis.
:''[John Laurinaitis' music plays again while Michael Cole applauds and John Laurinaitis comes to the stage in a scooter]''
:'''Michael Cole''': It's wonderful.
:'''Jerry''': Oh, my god.
:''[John Laurinaitis slowly get off scooter and uses a crutch]''
:'''John Laurinaitis''': John, after our match last night, I was rushed to the emergency room. The doctors said I have a possible broken clavicle, a possible damage to my ACL and PCL in my knee, and possible spinal injury, not to mention all the contusions all over my body. John, I cannot lift my left arm or move my left leg which indicates potential nerve damage. But that's okay because as I proved last night, when I'm in that ring, I'm a fierce competitor. But let me remind you, when I'm outside that ring, I'm a WWE executive. I wanna make sure you and everyone knows that you or anyone else cannot lay a finger on me again. If you do, you will be immediately terminated. But enough about me. I'd like to introduce to you the man who this past Saturday I rehired and actually gave a great bonus to. A man that in four weeks, John, you will face at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey in a pay-per-view called &quot;No Way Out.&quot; That's right, John. The man who knocked you out, The Big Show.
:''[Big Show's music plays and Big Show comes to the stage]'':
:'''Jerry''': I don't know how this guy can even show his face out here. The Big Show, what...?
:'''Big Show''': Well, John, I'm sure you and everyone else would like an explanation for my actions. Quite frankly, none are you are entitled to my explanation. However, however I will say last week on this show, I was on my knees to this man doing something I have never done before, begging for my job. No one loves this business more than I do. Our fans, our superstars, our production and technical crew. I was so upset I actually found myself crying. All of you watched a grown man, a giant crying on worldwide television? ''[hears &quot;You're a sellout&quot; chants]'' I'm a sellout. Again, I get no sympathy from any of you. No sympathy! None! 18 years of my life, nothing! I did what I had to do! I did what each and every one of you what I've done! I have an ironclad contract now and I'm proud of it! How dare you, Cena? How dare you? How dare any of you, any of you judge me?! How dare you?! How dare you? Cena, I will be judging you... look at me! I will be judging you June 17th. There will be no way out because you, my friend, I'm gonna knock out.

=== May 28 ===
:'''Big Show''': ''[mock smiling]'' You see this? This is me doing my job. This... this is me smiling. Smiling. It was easy making you people smile. Tell you the truth, I didn't mind doing it. But make no mistake about it, it was a calculated business decision. I made a living at it. I was a business man. I just also happen to be a giant. See, but all that's over now. Oh, that's so nice. What. That's so good. That's why I love you all so much. See, the reason I don't have to do that anymore and put on that smile is because I have an ironclad contract. ''[hears &quot;Cena&quot; chants]'' I have an ironclad contract with a big fat bonus, which means I'm set for life. Which means I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, to whoever I want, and I don't have to be concerned about putting smiles on you people's faces. I'm 7-foot tall, 441 pounds. I am not an entertainer. I am a giant. Let's face it, people, there's no one in my league. There's no helmet, shoulder-pad, four month out-of-the-year NFL player. There's no toothpick, noodle arm NBA player. There's no phony UFC so-called fighter. And there is certainly, there is certainly not anyone in the WWE that is in my league. And maybe that's why. Maybe that's why not one single WWE superstar came to my defense... came to my defense when, at the most humiliating moment of my life, when I was on my knees begging for my job. Just minutes after I was begging, this happened. ''[clip shows from May 14]'' My tears were not even dry in the ring and Brodus Clay is out there dancing. DANCING! Two guys that I thought were my friends, Kofi and Truth, they're just out there yucking it up, having a good ol' time and... and you people, all of you waving, clapping, having a great time. It's fun, wasn't it? It was easy for you people just to... just to move on. ''[hears &quot;Cena&quot; chants again]'' You people... you people are so shallow. You're so phony. But after all that, there's one man, there's one guy that disappointed me even more than all of you and that man's name is John Cena. When I saw John Cena in the ring, I thought he was gonna confront John Laurinaitis. I thought he was gonna fight for me. I thought he was gonna fight for his friend. I thought... I thought Cena was gonna threaten in an entire WWE locker room mutiny unless John Laurinaitis hired me right there, right back on the spot. Instead, your hero, John Cena, did this. ''[clip shows from May 14]'' Cena made jokes. I guess that's all I am. I guess that's all I am to all of you people as well, just one big joke. Well, Cena hurt me when he decided he didn't care. And last week, I hurt him. I knocked John Cena out twice within 24 hours. Now, what I'm gonna do to John Cena at No Way Out, it won't be pretty. John Cena is not gonna be standing across the ring from a businessman, John Cena is gonna be standing across the ring from an unstoppable giant. You think John Cena suffered his greatest loss in his career when he lost at Wrestlemania to The Rock? You think John Cena suffered the worst beating of his life when he faced Brock Lesnar? You think John Cena suffered the most embarrassing moment of his career when he lost to John Lauriaitis at Over the Limit? At No Way Out, John Cena is gonna experience all three of those things in one night, and that... that ''[mock smiling]'' puts a smile on my face.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cody Rhodes''': Like I said, I respect what Christian has done, but again, he sits on the fence between classic and contemporary, in my opinion.
:'''Jerry''': What does that mean? What does that mean, &quot;sits on the fence&quot;?
:'''Cody''': Well, I'm trying to be nice, Jerry. It means he's old, old like you.

=== July 30 ===
:'''CM Punk''': &quot;WrestleMania moments&quot; are what most everybody in the locker room always talks about, everybody wants their WrestleMania moment. But last week, I had myself a ''Raw'' moment; it was a ''Raw'' moment that was bigger than most people's WrestleMania moments. But before I get into why I did exactly what I did to the Rock, I wanna shed some light on something. I want to bring to your attention the way ''Raw 1,000'' went off the air, I was uncomfortable with. I...it left a bad taste in my mouth. The way the 1,000th episode of ''Raw'' went off the air was with Jerry Lawler saying, and I quote, &quot;CM Punk has turned his back on the WWE Universe.&quot;
:''[He turns and looks right at Jerry. He leaves the ring and sits on the announcers' table looking right at him.]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Cat got your tongue, King? You did say that.
:'''CM Punk''': I don't get it, Jerry. I mean, I'm used to really bad, overly dramatic hyperbole on commentary, but...that was horrible, even for you. How do you jump to such a conclusion? I mean, if anything, it was you who turned your back on me because the last time I checked, the Rock was not the WWE Universe. The Rock is one single, solitary man. He's a larger-than-life, extremely charismatic...delusional movie star who came in and showed me, ''[holds up the WWE Championship]'' the WWE Champion, an incredible lack of respect.
:First off, he interrupted me, which is something nobody should ever do. He interrupted me, and when he went into his little tired shtick with Daniel Bryan, he acted as if I wasn't even in the ring. I was almost invisible to him. And then when he does what I can only imagine in his brain is lowering himself to talk to me, he tells me that he's been gifted with a championship match at the Royal Rumble, and he acts as if he's just going to take my championship from me? The respect he didn't show me, I showed him right then and there because he's lucky I didn't drop him on the spot. He...he's fortunate that I didn't hurt him right then and there. And then at the end of the night, ''Dwayne'' does what Dwayne does best, and he tries to make the show all about him. He tries to make ''Raw's'' 1,000th episode all about him. And that's exactly when I showed him the kind of man he's dealing with, come Royal Rumble. 'Cause this is not a popularity contest, this is not ballet, this is the WWE and ''I'' am its Champion. You understand me, Jerry?
:And what's the Rock's response been? We haven't heard from him in a week, which is funny to a guy like me because when he was battling with John Cena, you couldn't shut him up. But now...now the Rock has found his silence, and I know what that means. So when it comes to you and your little agenda, however you wanna spin, however you wanna spin it, you can say what I did or didn't do to John Cena, the 1,000th episode of ''Monday Night Raw'' ended the exact way every episode of ''Monday Night Raw'' should end—with the focus and the attention and the spotlight on the WWE Champion, ''[holds up the title again]'' the best wrestler in the world.

=== September 3 ===
:'''The Miz''': You know, he can make all the excuses in the world, but let's face it—Heath Slater needs to start turning his career around. Now Zack Ryder, on the other hand, look at him. This guy does everything, he goes above and beyond. Social media guru—this guy is on YouTube with his ''Z! True Long Island Story'', he's on Facebook, he's on Twitter, he's interactive with his WWE Universe, and that's why they love him so much.
:'''Michael Cole''': Yeah, well, what about Heath Slater? Come on, he's the &quot;One Man Band!&quot;
:'''The Miz''': I got a song he can cover. How about [[Beck|Beck's]] &quot;[[w:Loser (Beck song)|Loser]]&quot;?

=== September 10 ===

:'''Bret Hart''': Let me ask you this, John Cena: what are you gonna do to finally shut this phony little punk up?
:'''CM Punk''': &quot;Phony&quot;? &quot;Phony&quot;? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the people. Did you call me a phony?
:'''Bret''': A phony little punk.
:'''John Cena''': Hitman, let me handle this one. Yes, he called you a phony. Does that irritate you? Does that make you wanna come down here and maybe do something about it? If that's the case, I'm calling you a phony too. Two things happen at this point—you either stay up there, or you come down here. And there's forty feet of distance and three ropes between you and the worst decision of your life.
:'''CM Punk''': Well, if that isn't [[the pot calling the kettle black|the pot calling the kettle black]], I don't know what is. It's quite ironic, the biggest phony in World Wrestling Entertainment history decides to point his finger and cast judgment on its champion. Well, John-Boy, I don't need your judgment, and I don't need your permission. I do what I want, I do what I decide, and right now I've decided to come out here and defend my good name in the face of such rampant, ridiculous disrespect. It almost breaks my heart to see the two of you standing in the ring together. It makes me realize, wow, the Hitman and John Cena are so much alike; and trust me, that's not a compliment. You two can sit here, pat each other on the back, and have a little powwow and talk about how great the both of you were at being the top guy, and completely neglect to mention the fact that you were both unceremoniously surpassed by somebody far superior than yourselves. John, in your instance, I, of course, am speaking of me; and Hitman, in your case, obviously, I'm talking about Shawn Michaels. And by the way, you can't draw a line of comparison between CM Punk and Shawn Michaels. Not the old Shawn, not the new Shawn, because I am better than Shawn Michaels. Oh, hey, hey, Bret, Hitman, you remember that...that hillbilly you made pass out to your little Sharpshooter at [[w:WrestleMania 13|WrestleMania 13]]? Stone Cold Steve Austin? ''[like to a child]'' I'm better than him too.
:And I'm better than The Rock, and we all said, we all knew, and we all saw what I did to him in one night, when he showed me one iota of disrespect. Hell, John-Boy, I did in one night what you couldn't do in an entire calendar year. I am the best ''wrestler'', I am the best ''talker'', I am the best ''technician'', I am the best ''brawler''. And I don't say these things from a place of insecurity, and I apologize for your lack of self-confidence, but I say it because I am it! And that makes me anything but a phony.
:'''John Cena''': He's right. He's right. Because that last statement actually makes you a liar, a hypocrite, and a conceited scumbag. Congratulations! You can also add that to your resume.
:You know, listening to these people tonight, I realize that Montreal is a very honest city. For years, WWE has referred to this building as Bizarro World. Quite frankly, you folks are just honest. You tell us how you feel, whether it's something we wanna hear or not. Tonight, I'm gonna take a lesson from Montreal and actually hit you in the face with a dose of truth, whether you want to hear it or not.
:For 300 days, you have been WWE Champion; for 300 days, that championship has been irrelevant. Month after month, you watch main event by main event pass you by. And your excuse, that there's some sort of weird political conspiracy against you. But the fact is there is no you. You see, you have been here for many, many, many years, and the night you made the most noise was, ironically, the night your microphone was turned silent. Ah, I remember those days. Talk about change. Passionate, convicting talk of change. And then one triumphant night in Chicago, when you were the victor and the universe finally said, &quot;we get change!&quot; And they were lied to. They were fooled into a false claim, because change was not ice cream bars, change was not edgy television, change wasn't even new talent. All you meant by &quot;we want change&quot; is &quot;make CM Punk a star.&quot; You don't even know who CM Punk is.
:I remember in those rants that you once said that I'd become what I despise, in reference to success. No, I went from an underdog to an odds-on favorite, but I did it as me. Through all of this, through all of this, the wins, the losses, the championships, the year when I didn't win the big one at WrestleMania, the embarrassment, the humility, I've had to stand on my own two feet and do it...as me.
:Then there's you. You have changed your ideology numerous times, you've stabbed your friends in the back, you borrow colors from Hall-of-Famers, you steal the elbow of the late Randy Savage. All because you have yet to find you. I'm not saying you're not tough—I've been in the ring with you. And I'm not saying you're not accomplished. But your latest phase of development revolves around this. ''[Pointing to the WWE Championship]'' You think because you have this, you are justified respect. No, the reason you have that and have kept it is by any means necessary, and that does not define a champion in my eyes. So at Night of Champions, you're going to have to search for a new identity. You've been really, really loud these past weeks because you finally realize, at Night of Champions, you are in serious jeopardy of losing this.
:I didn't want to do this, but the city of Montreal has kind of owed me a favor, so I'm gonna pay one back to you. I'm a little rusty. ''Me je parle un petit Francais (I speak a little French). CM Punk﻿ parle qu'il va victoir avec la nuit de champion, mais je vais lui botter le cul.'' Which means...
:'''CM Punk''': Which means you have lowered yourself! You have lowered yourself to their level. To speak their language? To speak the languages of the locals? You have lowered yourself!
:'''John Cena''': ENOUGH! Enough. Listen up, Jack, I don't lower myself to them because they are the reason we are here! You are an ignorant son-of-a-bitch, and you need a little bit of respect! So, in English, what I said was, &quot;you ''say'' you're gonna win at Night of Champions, but I'm just gonna kick your ass!&quot;

=== November 26 ===

:'''Michael Cole''': Dean, Seth, Roman, been my pleasure to known you guys for a while now and worked with you down in the developmental territory in NXT. And it seems a bit odd though to be conducting this interview tonight under these circumstances. It was eight nights ago at Survivor Series, many people say that you came...
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Many people? Who are these people? Michael, if you got a question to ask us, just ask.
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay. Are you three working directly for WWE Champion CM Punk?
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Nope.
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay. So if you're not working for Punk, then why are you guys here?
:'''Seth Rollins''': Now that's the question, Michael. That's the question you should be asking. You see, we sat down in NXT and we saw things clearly. Crystal clear, actually. You see, everybody around here has to answer to the likes of the Vickie Guerreros and the Booker Ts. And Vickie and Booker, they have to answer to the Board of the Directors. And Board of Directors ultimately has to answer to the WWE Universe. The almighty WWE Universe. What is that, Michael? What is that? It's a popularity contest. And that's not right. That's wrong, Michael. We saw things heading in the wrong direction. We stepped in and righted those wrongs. Michael, we are a shield from injustice in WWE.
:'''Michael Cole''': I mean, come on, guys. There is no denying that everything you've done so far has benefited CM Punk.
:'''Seth Rollins''': Michael, it's coincidence. Happenstance. You ever heard of it?
:'''Dean Ambrose''': It's not about benefiting Punk. It's about right and wrong. CM Punk, the WWE Champion, was forced to defend his title in a Triple Threat Match against two guys he already had defeated. That's wrong. So we stepped in. If had been Ryback or Cena, we would have done the same thing. If Ryback was champion for 365 days and Punk tried to ruin his party, we would have intervened on Ryback's behalf. 365 days as champion in this era? That's a huge milestone. That should be celebrated, right?
:'''Michael Cole''': Roman, I would love to get your take on all this.
:'''Roman Reigns''': When I want to say something, I'll say it.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Look, Cole, we see what you're getting at, okay? We hear everything you guys are saying. We read everything that's being written. Okay? We know what you guys are thinking. But we're not renegades, we're not mercenaries, we're not the Nexus, and if you're looking for the nWo, go buy the DVD. We are about principles. We're about honor. Where honor no longer exists, we're gonna step in. It's like he said: We're a shield from injustice.
:'''Seth Rollins''': Yeah.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': We're a shield from injustice. ''[The three look at each other and like the sound of it]'' We are [[w:The Shield (professional wrestling)|The Shield]].
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay, so...
:'''Roman Reigns''': Hey, I got something to say. We've said enough. This interview is over, man.

== 2013 ==

=== January 7 ===

:'''CM Punk''': The time has come to tell you all something very personal. You see, I keep my ear to the ground, and I hear everything everybody says, and for the past year and a half, the words &quot;pipe bomb&quot; have been completely misunderstood and misused. It doesn't seem anybody in the Universe understands what it means, anybody in this company doesn't understand what a pipe bomb is. Basically, what a pipe bomb is, in its truest form, is the truth. It's honesty. You boil it down, and the essence of a pipe bomb is exactly what all of you lack—honesty. Seems the perception of me is someone who was a little disgruntled, sat down on the stage in Las Vegas, and aired his grievances and said &quot;pipe bomb.&quot; I became the Voice of the Voiceless, and then maybe my ego was like a runaway train and I suddenly bitched and moaned and complained about respect and how I didn't get enough of it. And then I turned my back on the people.
:Well, that's a lie. Don't be mistaken. I meant everything I said when I said it, except the part about ice cream, 'cause I look out here and the last thing any of you people need is more bars of ice cream. But I was shortchanged and I was disrespected. And sure, I could have just swallowed that bitter pill and accepted my position in the company like everybody else in the back, or I could have left. Instead I made a conscious decision and I sold out. To you. To you, I sold out; to me, I cashed in. See, I created this persona, this rebel, this antihero that you all love to cheer for because I knew that you all love to cheer for your superheroes. Because here is the truth about Las Vegas, here is the truth about the WWE, is that it doesn't matter that if you're the best wrestler, it doesn't matter if you're the best talker, it doesn't matter if you're the best overall performer, it doesn't matter if you make the two clowns sitting to my left on commentary look like amateur hour. There is a glass ceiling and nobody is allowed to break it.
:That's the simple story of this place. The more popular you are, the more money you make. The more ''you'' people cheer for any given superstar, the more opportunities you're afforded. Why do you think a guy like John Cena, who has admittedly had the worst year of his career, gets title shot after title shot after title shot after title shot? Or why a lethal grappler, why a serious submission specialist like Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and saddles himself, belittles himself with catchphrases. Or why a 400 pound monster, Brodus Clay, soils his hands by touching your filthy, ugly, little children to get in the ring so he can shuck and jive for you. Or why an invisible child, Little Jimmy, is better positioned on the flagship show Monday Night RAW than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd.
:Look at them, they're doing it now. You're doing it now! You're falling for everything I say, you're playing into my hands, but this is the way it is and this is the way you want it because this is the way you handle it. It's easy, it's saccharine, it's simple to digest because you people can't handle anything complicated, you people can't stomach anything interesting. This is the way it's been since the beginning of the time. We're all here in the circus to entertain you. And nobody's ever been able to attain a modicum of success without ''you.''
:Except for now. Until I showed up. I've become the most successful WWE Champion of all time. Not of the modern era. No, that's another little buzzword that somebody backstage wants you to say. They probably wanna put it on a t-shirt. But that's the way you get noticed. You don't get noticed until you start to move a couple of t-shirts around here. If I... if I competed in Bruno Sammartino's era, I'd have been champion for 20 years, too. No, I'd have been champion for 30 years. Because wrestling one night a month at Madison Square Garden is easy. You never see a Hulk Hogan wrestle TLC matches against a superstar like Ryback. Because he had it easy. I wrestle physically demanding matches on free television, week in and week out. So much that my one year equals 30 of theirs. And I have attained this success, not... not because of you. I am successful not because of you. I am successful ''in spite'' of you.
:Now, I'm the most honest man in this building, I'm the most honest man in this company 'cause everybody else has got the same, old, tired crybaby story. They'll come out here and they'll say &quot;I do it for the people, I do it for all of you. Let's hear it for Tampa, Florida!&quot; Here's some honesty. I watched Roddy Piper smash a coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head and I sure as hell didn't say &quot;Golly Gee! I can't wait to go electrify the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.&quot; No! Because I don't care about the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.
:There's good guys and there's bad guys in this world, and make no mistake about it, ladies and gentlemen, I am a bad, bad man and I can freely admit it. But Ric Flair will come out here and he'll cry his 182-year eyes out and say &quot;Oh, I did it for all of you.&quot; Now they're wooing. Shawn Michaels can come out here and lose his smile and find his smile, but then in a... in a tearful Hall of Fame speech, he'll say that his entire career was just to gain your acceptance. Then a man like Edge is forced to retire and he'll say that he misses competing for people like you. Now, these people, these men are either weak, or they're dishonest and they're liars. It's either one or the other. But I— I'm neither weak nor dishonest. I'm the best in the world.
:Two types of people on this earth. Those born to be in the spotlight, and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight. Ladies and gentlemen, there's winner and losers. Guess which one you are. You're born to pay to see champions like me, it's not the other way round. And I'll be the first guy to come out here and admit it, I'm honest. I have never ever done this for any of you. There's superstars and there's nobodies. I am a superstar, you are all nobodies. And I'm a real superstar. Those real superstars, hell, if they're your friends, why don't they come out here and give you the millions and millions of dollars they earn? Why don't they line your pockets? 'Cause that's... that's not your position on earth.
:Uh, I'm being told that we have to take a commercial break. I'm not done, let me explain something to you. Let me explain something to everybody in the truck. We don't go to break when you wanna go to break. We go to break when the Champ wants to go to break! Listen up and understand something 'cause the Rock's gonna come out here and he's gonna talk a whole lot. Well, I will now tell you the most important thing you're gonna hear tonight. ''[Pointing to random people in the audience]'' You do not matter, you do not matter, you do not matter. None of you matter. What you want doesn't matter. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[after commercial break]
:'''CM Punk''': So I stand here on the first Raw of 2013 your WWE Champion, and I promise you in one years time, I will stand in this ring on the first Raw of 2014 still your WWE Champion. What fuels me is your constant disappointment in your self-appointed superheroes to be able to drag this title away from me, and now The Rock has come back, but it's not gonna change the fact, that I am the WWE Champion. And I'm not gonna let The Rock tear down everything that I fought so hard to attain, no no no no no no no..... not at all, no, in 2011, when I defeated Alberto Del Rio for this title at Madison Square Garden, I didn't just beat Alberto Del Rio, I beat the system. And every time after that, when I beat one of your superheroes, and I don't care if it was John Cena, Ryback, Chris Jericho, Kane, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, any of the litany of Superstars that I defeated, I wasn't just beating them, I was beating all of you. And for 414 days, that's exactly what I've done. In your face, jerks. I have beaten you. I have stomped you out under my oppressive boot and I'm gonna do the same thing to The Rock because I don't care if he's back, you all do not get to win. You are losers. You do not get to win. You do not...(The Rock theme song comes on)

:'''The Rock''': The Rock had to hear it all. The Rock wanted to wait until you said everything you had to say, so the Rock knew exactly the kind of man he's dealing with at the Royal Rumble. And now it's become crystal clear to the Rock. You are straight up delusional. You keep mentioning that number 414. 414 days you've been WWE champion. That's incredible, incredible. The real number, it ain't 414, Jack. The real number that haunts your dreams is 20. 20 excuses running around your mind right now. 20 hairs standing up on your straight edge scrotum. Because you know, you know in 20 days you're gonna be defending that WWE Championship against the Rock which means in 20 days you know, the Rock knows, they know, in 20 days, time's up.
:You wanted change, you wanted a revolution. You say that when you became WWE Champion, you rejected the people. No, no, no, no. The people rejected you. You talked about change, you couldn't do it. You talked about revolution, you couldn't do it. You came out and you promised everybody ice cream bars. Ice cream bars for everybody! And you couldn't even do that. You couldn't provide ice cream if the Dairy Queen, Carvel, and Cookie Puss drove an ice cream truck straight up your ass.
:I want you to listen to something. Listen to something, Punk, listen. That's— voices. Voices. You claim, you claim to be the voice of the voiceless, but that's a bunch of hot garbage because here in the WWE Universe, there ain't no such thing as the voiceless. They have...they have voices. And they love to use their voice. They use it every single night. Every night they use their voices. As a matter of fact, as a matter of fact, they know something special is getting ready to happen right now. They're gonna use their voice, they're gonna chant the loudest chant you have ever heard. They're gonna chant, they're gonna chant something that is gonna follow you for the rest of your life. They're gonna chant, They're not gonna chant &quot;respect,&quot; they're not gonna chant &quot;best in the world,&quot; they're gonna chant exactly what you are. In three seconds they're gonna chant, &quot;Cookie Puss, Cookie Puss.&quot;
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' Cookie Puss! Cookie Puss!
:'''CM Punk''': Be the puppets that you are. He got you chanting about ice cream the same way I did a year and a half ago. Congratulations. They still don't get to win. You don't get to win.
:'''The Rock''': They don't get to win? They don't get to win? Oh, they've already won! They've already won. See, that's something you fail to realize. They've already won. They won the moment the Rock woke up this morning at 4:00 AM. The Rock woke up this morning at 4:00 AM. He sent out his early morning tweet to the world. Then the Rock ate his famous pancakes. Then the Rock went to the gym, clanging and banging and clanging and banging. Then the Rock got in his pickup truck and he drove up right up I-75, right through Alligator Alley! Right through Alligator Alley, so the Rock can stand right here, right here in the middle of this ring in front of you, in front of them, in front of the world and proudly say: Finally the Rock has come back to Tampa!
:You see, Punk, it's not just that the Rock is back. No, it's ''why'' the Rock is back. Here's why the Rock is back. For three reasons. The Rock is back to entertain them. The Rock is back to stop you. And after ten long years, ten long years, the Rock is back to win ''[points to WWE Championship]'' that.
:The Rock has watched the show. Every Monday Night RAW watching you, watching you, your deceiving, your backpedaling, your lying. The Rock would watch the TV and he'd scream at the TV &quot;Good God Almighty, somebody tell this man they respect him, just so he shut his punk ass up. And while you're at it, somebody show this man a doctor.&quot; Is there a doctor in the house? Because a man who claims that he's straight edge, he's running around here looking exactly like Popeye on crack. Look at you. Punkeye the crackhead. All you need right now is a little thing in your mouth, a little, ''toot-toot!''
:CM Punk. CM Punk, you have one of the most creative and innovative minds in the history of the WWE. The Rock knows it. You fail to use it. You became WWE Champion and you also became the biggest jerk the world has ever seen. The Rock can look you in the eye and tell you this with all passion and with all heart. When the Rock is here, don't you ever say the people don't matter. They matter. They've always mattered. You're the one that doesn't matter.
:'''CM Punk''': Oh, I matter. I'm the most successful...
:'''The Rock''': IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU MATTER! The only thing that matters is that you understand, you get it straight in your head that at Royal Rumble, there ain't no way, and the Rock means NO WAY, you're gonna stop the Rock from becoming WWE Champion.
:'''CM Punk''': Unlike a lot of people I'm glad you're back. I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care if you work here 16 days a year or 365 days a year. You could be Santa Claus and have his schedule, one day a year. I'd still kick your ass. I don't care how many movies you film every year. I know how hard that schedule probably is, but every time you come back, whenever you decide to grace us with your presence, I'm gonna kick your ass. Because this isn't candy land. I'm like nobody you've ever faced before. You can make fun of the color of my t-shirt and you can talk about pie and you can sing songs and you can rhyme, and you can do your tired, lame-ass schtick. I just want you to know that come Royal Rumble, and you have about three weeks to realize this, I'm gonna kick your ass 'cause I'm the best in the world. I'm the best thing going today. I'm the best guy you've ever stepped foot in the ring with. And you need to understand, congratulations, Rock, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You're playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your &quot;millions and millions&quot; and your &quot;finallys&quot;. And I'm in the big leagues and I'm swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it's all kiddie games. You can't leave a mark on the Champ's face. Come Royal Rumble, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God.
:'''The Rock''': You may think that the Rock is boxing with God. But the Rock knows for a fact you are going one-on-one with the Great One. Don't you think... don't you think for one single, solitary second that the Rock doesn't know how bad you are, how dangerous you are, how tough you are. The Rock knows that. 414 days. The Rock knows the last time we were in the middle of this ring you hit the Rock with a GTS and you knocked him out cold. Cold as a block of ice. The Rock didn't forget it. You hurt the Rock. You embarrassed the Rock. He said it before, he'll say it again. In 20 days, time's up.
:But here's the thing. This is what the Rock wants you to do— from now until then. The Rock wants you to go home and think about the next 20 days. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home and look in the mirror. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home, look in the mirror and strip naked. That's what the Rock wants you to do. Go ahead and look at yourself. Don't concentrate on your Cookie Puss. Turn around and look at your backside. Turn around, look at your backside and let's try and find a small space on this body that's not covered in ugly tattoos because the Rock wants you to get two more tattoos. Some more tattoos. Here's the thing. Go ahead, on your left butt cheek the Rock wants you to get a tattoo of a big, fat M&amp;M. And then add a Snickers, a Milky Way, a Mounds. You can't have an Almond Joy because unlike you, Almond Joys actually have nuts. And then... and then on your right butt cheek, this is what the Rock wants you to do. The Rock wants you to get a tattoo of the Rock's size 15 shoe, so you will have a lifetime reminder of how badly the Rock is gonna kick your candy ass at Royal Rumble.

=== January 14 ===
:''[The Rock has an Eric Clapton song for Vickie Guerrero]''
:'''The Rock''': Late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear.
:She puts on her makeup. She brushes her short, black hair
:And then she'll ask me, &quot;Do I look alright?&quot;
:And I said, &quot;No biatch! You look [[w:Wonderful Tonight|horrible tonight]].&quot;
 
:You abuse all your powers. Waste everybody's time.
:You dress like a hooker... not the expensive kind.
:So get your ass to the airport, take a one-way flight,
:Because biatch, you look horrible tonight.
:I said biatch, you look horrible tonight.
:'''Vickie Guerrero''': Are you kidding me?!?! How dare you do that to me?! How dare you?!?
:'''The Rock''': Hold on Vickie, don't go anywhere, cause we wanna sing you out. We'll sing goodbye properly ''[audience joins in]'' &quot;We said biatch, you look horrible tonight.&quot; ''[Vickie slowly walks out]'' Houston, Texas, that is one horrible-looking beeyatch.

=== April 8 ===

:'''Josh Mathews''': How does it feel to be the new World Heavyweight Champion?
:'''Dolph Ziggler''': You know, Josh, I have been too damn good for too damn long. Now I knew, I ''knew'' I just needed the right time and the right place, and I found it tonight. Now I know it's the day after, but this...''this'' is my WrestleMania moment! I'm the showoff, 'cause I'm gonna take my new championship, shine it up, and show it off. It's about damn time.


:'''Fans''': DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA!! - Fans singing Fandango's theme
:THANK YOU BIG SHOW - The fans when Big Show attacked Randy Orton and Sheamus
:WE WANT ZIGGLER - Fans during the Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter vs Alberto Del Rio match


=== July 8 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': I have no followers, I have only brothers and sisters, all in the name of cause. People are sheep, you understand me? They can't lead themselves, they need to be lead. People buy and sell fear. They worship war, they crave war. But I'm not afraid of their wars. I created war! And I think it's time for the masses to wake up, wake up, WAKE UP! Wake up and look at this lie they're living in man! The world is deteriorating between their toes, and they do nothing about it. They only stand there, they whisper and wonder but never do anything about it! But I've seen it all in my dreams and in my thoughts, and above everything else, I understand. This is not the beginning, it's the end. We're here.

=== July 15 ===

:'''Paul''': You know what I'm looking at right now? I'm looking at an empty ring because in ''my'' world, you don't exist. Try this one on for size—am I lying? In 2005, WWE had no vision for you. CM Punk was a figment of Paul Heyman's imagination. And what did I do? I took you in, I befriended you, I taught you, I trained you, I ''martyred my entire career'' for you. And then we reached the holy grail together. ''We'' were the reigning, defending WWE Champion for 434 days. ''We'' were the longest-reigning WWE Champion of the past 25 years. ''We'' came within an ''inch'' of breaking the Undertaker's streak at [[WrestleMania##WrestleMania 29|WrestleMania]]. ''We'', CM Punk, ''we'' were the best in the world. And here's part of the equation you seem to forget about—without me, there is no we. Without Paul Heyman, CM Punk, you're not the best in the world.
:''[To audience]'' See, you can boo that all you want, 'cause everybody's been stopping me and asking me the same question: &quot;Paul Heyman, what happened here? Why, Paul Heyman? Why did you betray CM Punk? Paul Heyman, you are a Judas!&quot;
:Here's the truth, because I'll tell you why I have such an aversion to the truth. Because the truth is a lot harder pill to swallow, Mr. Straight Edge, than a spin on things. The truth is, you failed ''us'' when you couldn't defeat the Undertaker at WrestleMania. And when you went home, you found yourself. And CM Punk comes back to WWE...and you think you're better than me. CM Punk—better than Paul Heyman.
:So I lied to you. I manipulated you. I played you because you can never claim that CM Punk dumped Paul Heyman. No, history is going to write that Paul Heyman dumped CM Punk! You didn't want a business relationship with me, you wanted to keep it personal. So I made it as personal as I could possibly make it. Come on, you know this to be true. Here's the truth—you have no family. You're estranged from your own mother and father, you have no wife, you have no children. All you have ''[indicating the crowd]'' is them. All you have is the WWE Universe. All you have is their admiration! All you have is their respect! All you have is their affirmation! Listen to them!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' CM PUNK!
:'''Paul''': And all you want, all you crave, all you need in your life is the WWE Championship. You took my best friend away from me, and I took your chance at the WWE Title away from you and each and every one of them! You're gonna find out, as bad a reputation as I have in business, I'm a whole lot worse personally. And here's the kicker to it all, ''best friend, brother, business son'', man who wouldn't be my client. You made me swear on my children, but it was my children who made me see this so clear. &quot;Daddy, why doesn't Punk listen to you like Brock listens to you? Daddy, isn't Brock going to hurt Punk? Daddy, can Punk beat Brock Lesnar?&quot;
:And if you wanna know why I double-crossed you, why I betrayed you, why I cost you your opportunity to cash in Money in the Bank and go for the WWE Title, here's the harshest truth of them all—I betrayed you because, CM Punk, you can't beat Brock Lesnar!
:'''CM Punk''': Are you done? You wanna talk about the truth? I saw first-hand [[w:Money in the Bank (2013)|last night]] that the truth does hurt. And maybe I should have seen it coming, but damn it, Paul, I trusted you. And all I have to show for it now is these thirteen staples in my head. But another truth is that you know me better than anybody, and you know when I'm lying, and you know when I'm telling the truth, and you know when I want something bad enough, I am the most relentless man on the planet. And I will not stop until I get it! And the truth is, Paul, I'm gonna get you.
:This time, ''I'' swear on ''your'' children that I am gonna get you. And I will get everybody that conspired against me, every single one of your associates, everybody who profited from it, everybody who had knowledge of it, anybody who enjoyed it. Your friends, your clients, your family, anybody in between the time I get my hands on you and now that steps in between you and I and opens their eyes at me, I will get my hands on and I will rip apart and I will hurt!
:You want the truth? The truth is, you don't have a future, because I'm gonna burn down everything around you until you're the last man standing, and I'm gonna keep you alive just long enough to look you in the eye and hurt you worst of all! So tell me, you son-of-a-bitch! Am I lying?!
:'''Paul''': No. No, you're not lying, and since you want to tip your hand and tell me I have a lack of a future, let me spell your immediate future out for you. ''[Kneels down and mocks CM Punk's opening ritual]'' IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!!!

=== July 29 ===

:'''Bray''': ''[to Kane]'' I heard you like to call yourself &quot;the Devil's Favorite Demon.&quot; But you, sir, are ''NO DEMON!'' And the Devil? No, man...shh, shh, shh. Kane, I'd like to let you in on a little secret now. You ought to be careful who you say those things in front of, because you never know ''[whispering] who might be listening.'' FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS!!!

=== August 26 ===

:'''AJ Lee''': OMG, you guys, I just watched last night's episode of ''Total Divas'', and it was insane. Oh, my gosh. The Bellas were dealing with their obvious daddy issues, the Funkadactyls broke up and got back together again, Natalya's fiance isn't much of a man...and the other two were also there. It was great, it really was, and...it was the end of the world, and it's only Sunday nights on the E! Network!
:Do you want to know what I see when I look in that ring? Honestly? A bunch of cheap, interchangeable, expendable, useless women. Women who have turned to reality television 'cause they just weren't gifted enough to be actresses. And they just weren't talented enough to be Champion. I have saved your Divas division, I have shattered glass ceilings, I have broken down doors. Why? So...so a bunch of ungrateful, stiff, plastic mannequins can waltz on through without even as much as a &quot;thank you&quot;?
:You guys can't even go backstage and shake my hand and look me in the eye because you know that I worked my entire life to get here. I gave my life to this, and you were just handed fifteen minutes of fame! I didn't get here because I was cute or because I came from some famous wrestling family or because I ''sucked''...up to the right people. I got here because I am good. I earned this championship. And no matter how many red carpets you guys wanna walk down in your $4,000 ridiculous heels, you will never be able to lace up my Chuck Taylors. You're all worthless excuses for women, and you will never be able to touch me, and ''that'' is reality.

=== September 9 ===

:'''Michael Cole''': What is your problem with the cast of ''Total Divas''?
:'''AJ Lee''': My problem with the cast of ''Total Divas'' is that they're the cast of a reality show. They are not here for this title.
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[back to the match]'' The Rear View by Naomi. If she connects with that on Sunday...
:'''AJ Lee''': This is what is reality, this championship. And you know what? All week long, these girls have been Tweeting about me, talking about me, yelling to .com, crying and screaming. You know why? They're complaining and IMing their every single thought because they know I'm right and I'm getting to them.
:'''JBL''': Is that how fights start nowadays, you Tweet each other?
:'''AJ Lee''': For them, apparently; I said what I had to say to their face.
:'''Jerry''': So you have no desire to go on that reality show and really mix it up with those girls?
:'''JBL''': It's certainly a big hit.
:'''AJ Lee''': I have the date I won this title [https://twitter.com/WWEAJLee/status/374621087474384896/photo/1 tattooed on the back of my neck]. This is all I care about.
:'''Jerry''': So...any other tattoos?
:'''AJ Lee''': I think I'm a little too old for you, Jerry—I'm 26, I know you like 'em younger.

=== October 21 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It's an execution live on WWE pay-per-view, as &quot;The Best in the World&quot; CM Punk straps me into the electric chair, puts the poison into my veins, lines me up in front of the firing squad and pulls the trigger himself! For the first time ever — and for the first time ever again — it will never, ever happen...as a non-participant actually gets locked inside of a cell with a man who does not spend his night fantasizing about the ''Divas''. CM Punk spends his night fantasizing and obsessing about the massacre he wants to inflict upon Paul Heyman. CM Punk wants to take me down, take me out, DRIVE ME AWAY from WWE forever!
:But just like when a volcano is trapped inside of a dormant mountain, when that volcano finally erupts, ''[now screaming] and the lava — the molten lava — drips down the side of the mountain... I'm just like that lava! I'm red-hot! I'm out of control! And all of the villagers, with the lava pouring down into their houses, destroying their cars, suffocating and melting their flesh, and the villagers are going, &quot;Run for your lives! Run for your lives! Run for your lives!&quot; They're the ones that love and worship CM Punk! And I'm the one''...that has a different strategy.
:Because I'm not all filled with emotion like CM Punk, Renee. I'm cold-hearted. And I'm calculated. And I'm in control...the same way I have controlled CM Punk all of these years. The same way I control my monster, Ryback. And CM Punk cannot get past my monster, Ryback, which means CM Punk can't get his hands on me. Which is why Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, I'm not locked in a cell with CM Punk, CM Punk is locked in a cell with me.

=== December 9 ===

:''[The WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship hanging in the ring, with twenty former World Champions standing]''
:'''Randy Orton''': Better than anyone, I know what you are capable of; but I also know what you're ''not'' capable of. Remember years ago, when you were making a name for yourself, you claimed you had ruthless aggression. Well, if you had it then, you don't have it anymore because ''if'' you did, you would've put me in the hospital last Monday night on ''Raw''. But you didn't. You couldn't do it, you didn't have the stomach, and you're gonna regret that decision for the rest of your life after this Sunday.
:Now last week, John, you said that I had all the God-given natural ability in the world, but that I had gotten lazy. I did not get lazy. Sometimes, when you're that much better than all of your peers, you lack motivation, you get complacent. But John, John, fear not. I have all the motivation I need to beat your ass that Sunday at TLC ''[pointing at the titles] hanging right here!''
:You say that you don't care about being the face of the WWE, but that's...that's a lie. I know you, John. Image is everything to you. But you're gonna be the man that lost the most important match in the history of the WWE. Meanwhile...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''Randy''': ''Meanwhile,'' I am the greatest Superstar of this generation or any other! Just look around you! Look at these men in this ring! Look at Mick Foley back there! Hey, Mick! I took years off of his career. I took years, literally years off of his life! Where's HBK? ''[Shawn waves from behind Triple H]'' Showstopper Shawn Michaels, Mr. WrestleMania, I've embarrassed him on multiple occasions. And there wouldn't have even had to have been a [[w:Montreal Screwjob|screwjob in Montreal]] if I was competing 16 years ago—where are you, Bret—because I would've left you laying unconscious in the middle of that ring.
:John Cena, I need you to understand something. This Sunday at TLC, everything that you have worked so hard for, everything that you have fought so hard for, will come crashing down all around you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''John Cena''': It's funny. I couldn't help but notice you said the word, &quot;work.&quot; A little example, for one second. ''[Brings Daniel Bryan front and center, to the cheers and &quot;YES!&quot; chants of the Seattle crowd]'' Tell these people your name, please.
:'''Daniel''': My name is Daniel Bryan.
:'''John''': We'll get to know you a little bit more. Daniel, where are you from?
:'''Daniel''': I'm from Aberdeen, Washington.
:'''JBL''': Wherever that is.
:'''John''': Was either your father or your mother ever a Superstar, Hall of Fame, WWE Superstar at all? Father or mother, either one.
:'''Daniel''': No, my dad's a log scaler actually.
:'''JBL''': What?
:'''John''': So since you've been here, you've have to...''work'' for everything you've got.
:'''Daniel''': Yes.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''John''': ''[back to Randy]'' You hear that? The reason they cheer for him is because he works and he earns it! A guy like you has been given ''every single thing'' in the WWE!
:I'm about to hit you in the face with some truth. Ever since you came to the WWE Training Center, you were untouchable. You were bulletproof. You couldn't be fired. Nobody could touch Randy Orton because ''they'' liked you. And then you get to the WWE, and what happens? You get sheltered by the best performer in the business. Nothing's changed, Randy. All do you is hide behind Triple H; all you do is hide behind Stephanie McMahon; and you got the balls to stand in this ring and say you're better that everybody here?! Say you're bigger than all of this?!
:You have ''always'' blamed everybody else for your failures, you've pointed fingers, and you've made excuses. You've had behavior problems in the ring, you've had behavior problems ''outside'' the ring. And the sad thing is, the TLC match this Sunday is the biggest in WWE history. That's why everybody is here tonight. This changes the very course of the WWE. But you want these championships because you're ''selfish!'' Because you feel you deserve it! And maybe, just maybe, if you hold onto this, you can finally walk around with the rest of the Superstars and say, &quot;Hey, guys, look. I'm finally what I was supposed to be ten years ago.&quot;
:Every single time I have held either of these championships, my business card reads the same: &quot;You want some? Come get some!&quot;
:And here's the real truth. Whether these guys in the ring like me or not, they respect me because they know it. Whether it's Triple H or Shawn Michaels in a WrestleMania match, whether it's Booker T. Hell, nobody wanted to give Dolph Ziggler a chance, and what did I do? I said, &quot;Let's fight.&quot; Everybody said it was a bad idea to give CM Punk a championship match when he was gonna leave the WWE; all I saw was the best in the world. Hell, the ''only'' legitimate championship shot Daniel Bryan's ever had was against me, and he won! ''[Turns to Daniel]'' So I'll say it here in front of your hometown. If I win on Sunday, ''[shakes his hand]'' I look forward to the rematch. A ''fair'' rematch.
:You see, that's what being a champion is all about—a certain level of respect. And last week, I wasn't gonna take you out. I just wanted to make a statement that when the chips are down, I can be just as brutal as you. So right now, I'm gonna make one more statement because I know exactly what this means. ''[Sticks out his hand]'' This Sunday will be physical and it will be brutal, and I will be at my very best. I just hope you are too, because after this Sunday, the last thing anyone is gonna wanna deal with is just another Randy Orton excuse. Good luck on Sunday, you're gonna need it.

=== December 30 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[to a beaten-down Daniel Bryan]'' This is where our story ends. I have no mercy left to give! It could've been different, it could've been better, it could've been ''perfect!'' No, this is your fault. I'm gonna punish you. I want you to open your eyes. ''[Pulls Daniel by the hair]'' Open your eyes and look at your dismay! Open your eyes, Bryan! This is the end.
:'''Daniel''': You're right.
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Say it again. Say that again.
:'''Daniel''': You're right.
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Say it again! Say it again! Get up and say it again! Say it!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' NO!
:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[indicating the mic]'' You want this? ''[Bray hands it to Daniel]'' Say it!
:'''Daniel''': You're right. You were always right. No matter how many matches I won, no matter how loud these people cheered for me, you were always right. The machine...the machine would never let me win. No matter how loud you people chanted. You chanted &quot;YES!&quot; in every building I've ever been to, and they don't care. I'm yours. Let me join the Family.
:''[Daniel crawls to Bray. Bray picks up Daniel, kisses him on the forehead, and hits him with Sister Abigail.]''
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Remember, Bryan, this is forever. This is going to change everything!

== 2014 ==

=== March 3 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[on the Chicago crowd chanting &quot;CM PUNK!&quot;]'' I believe he deserves louder than that!
:'''Fans''': ''[chanting]'' CM PUNK!
:''[Paul sits in the middle of the ring]''
:'''Paul''': I came here tonight to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy. A Paul Heyman guy that was never truly wanted in WWE; a Paul Heyman guy that they thought was too small to main-event WrestleMania; a Paul Heyman guy that didn't have the right corporate look; a Paul Heyman guy that had too many tattoos; a Paul Heyman guy that would rebel against the current system, against the authority, against the first family to such a degree that they didn't want him in WWE from day one, and they don't want him in WWE right now. I came here tonight to tell you the story of a Paul Heyman guy that had the balls to say what nobody else had the balls to say. I came here tonight to tell you about a Paul Heyman guy that was born in, raised in and still lives in Chicago. My name is Paul Heyman, and, ladies and gentlemen, this is my pipe bomb about CM Punk...who is not here this evening.
:And here's the biggest part of my pipe bomb. ''[crowd chants louder]'' Hey, if you're looking for me to disagree with you, I'm sorry, I don't. No one is more disappointed that he can't see CM Punk perform in this ring tonight than I am. No one. Because if CM Punk were here tonight, he would be doing exactly what he always claimed to do, he would be proving his detractors wrong and he would be showing the entire WWE Universe that he is the best in the world.
:So what really happened? Why isn't CM Punk here tonight? Why won't anyone talk about CM Punk any more? Because there is a finger to point around here, there is someone to blame, there is someone to hold accountable why CM Punk just wouldn't just wouldn't put up with it anymore. And ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time where you have to risk your own job security and point that finger of blame; and tonight, in this very ring, I point the blame for the fact that CM Punk is not here tonight, I point that finger at each and every single one of you!
:Oh, you can boo me all you want. The truth hurts, doesn't it? This is why I've always found it so much easier in life to lie. People accept lies so much easier, but the truth does sting just a little bit, doesn't it? The fact is, when CM Punk was with me, CM Punk was the longest-reigning WWE Champion of the past twenty-five years. I provided CM Punk the bosom from which his soul could be nourished. And then, then, ''you'' took him away from me. You made CM Punk ''your'' hero, you said you would give CM Punk ''your'' love, ''your'' affection, ''your'' respect, ''your'' affirmation. And how far did it get you? You didn't just take CM Punk away from me, you took CM Punk away from yourselves.
:I don't just blame each and every single one of you, I blame someone else as well: I blame the Undertaker. Because this entire downward spiral began when we couldn't beat the Streak at last year's WrestleMania. And if anyone wants to carry a message to the Undertaker, carry this: Paul Heyman wants revenge. So how do you get revenge against the Undertaker? How do you kill what's already dead? The fact is, I want to see the Streak taken away from the Undertaker. And there's only one man on the face of the planet that can do it. I want that Streak beaten, I want the Undertaker stripped of the streak, I want the streak conquered. And there's only one man that can conquer that Streak, ''[Paul stands up]'' and he's my best friend in the world. He is the conqueror, he is the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar!

=== March 10 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[to Hulk Hogan and John Cena]'' I have always been fascinated with pride. It is my favorite sin. It has the power to blind even the strongest men, even those who claim to be immortal. Hey kids, take your vitamins and say your prayers! All praise be to the virtue of hustle, loyalty, and respect, as if they can do you any good.
:You are both liars, and your foolish pride allows you to prey upon the weak and fill them up with this hope. But hope is dead, as will be your legacy, John. I can see it in your eyes. You don't get it. And how could you possibly get something that you can't comprehend?! But I'll lay it out for you, John, right now. If you look up at me, you will see a friend; if you look down at me, you will see an enemy; but if you look at me square in the eyes, you will see a god.
:'''John Cena''': Do you even listen to all that weird crap you're saying? You just said pride was the fall of man, and then you follow up by saying when I look at you, I should see a god. I look at you and I don't see a god. I see a homeless dude that spent too many years ''[singing] wastin' away again in Margaritaville, lookin' for his lost shaker of salt.''
:Oh, no, no, no, you didn't find any salt. You found two goons, a tiki torch, and a rocking chair from Cracker Barrel. And now you think you can waltz out here in a Hawaiian shirt and a fedora and be somebody? Well, I say prove it.

===April 7===
:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and it is the greatest privilege of my career to serve as the advocate for the Beast Incarnate, ''Brock Lesnar!'' The conqueror of the Undertaker's Streak, a streak that lasted nearly a quarter of a century. A quarter of a century that ended in three seconds at the hands of the conqueror, Brock Lesnar!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' BULLSHIT!
:'''Paul''': I understand how you feel. You're in shock, which shows me your lack of intelligence, because we hate to say we told you so, but ladies and gentlemen, ''WE TOLD YOU SO!!!'' My client stood before you with a shirt. Now, here it is, and I know how difficult it is for you to read, but it says, ''[pointing across Brock's shirt]'' &quot;Eat, sleep, break the Streak&quot;! And you had the temerity to doubt the strategy of the greatest manager in sports-entertainment history, Paul Heyman, or the physical credentials of the most dominant athlete in WWE ever, Brock Lesnar! Hey, let's get one thing straight. Brock Lesnar is not here to put smiles on people's faces; Brock Lesnar is here to shock the WWE Universe and put tears in the eyes of children.
:But now that you know all the headlines, let’s go a little bit off-page and shoot from the hip, shall we? Five seconds after walking through the curtain at WrestleMania, the Undertaker collapsed, and all the... ''[turns to audience]'' Oh, I know you don't want to hear this story, do you; it's a little too real for you. So as all the paramedics and the doctors are panicking, and there's chaos backstage, the most ruthless man to ever have the pleasure of meeting me, the chairman of the board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, left WrestleMania and rode to the hospital with the Undertaker. The Undertaker is being treated today for a severe concussion. He came ''[holds fingers about an inch apart]'' this close to a broken neck, this close to a cracked skull, and the greatest thing the Undertaker ever did was not getting his shoulder up on that third F-5 because, if he did, he ''would'' have had a broken neck, Brock Lesnar ''would'' have cracked his skull. Brock Lesnar was prepared to beat on the Undertaker to such a degree that the complexion of this television show would have changed tonight because Brock wasn't done until the Streak was dead.
:Here's what really gets to me. When the match was over, ''[points to announcers]'' {{W|John Layfield|John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield}} and {{W|Michael Cole (wrestling)|those two}} {{W|Jerry Lawler|other things}} that call themselves announcers stood up and gave a standing ovation along with 80,000 other people in the Superdome—''Super''dome, Hogan, not ''Silver''dome—and gave a standing ovation to the Undertaker. Gave a standing ovation to the guy that lost the fight. Here's what I don't understand. Brock Lesnar always taught me, in every fight, there's a winner and a loser. Well last night, the Undertaker was a ''loser,'' and the winner, whether you like it or not, was ''BROCK LESNAR!!!''
:But since this is supposed to be the wildest crowd of the year, you should all feel empowered because each and every single one of you is exactly like every single member of that WWE locker room. You're all a bunch of wannabes. When Brock Lesnar walked through that curtain last night, nobody gave him a standing ovation. Everybody looked down. Do you know why? Because nobody respected Brock Lesnar, which is fine for Brock because Brock respects nobody. He barely tolerates me, and he certainly doesn't respect someone who's gonna fly in from around the world to sit here on the Monday after WrestleMania trying to get noticed on worldwide TV!
:So notice ''this'', okay? There's a lot of people in the back who sit there and say, &quot;I could've been the one to jump from the ring to the Octagon.&quot; But Daniel Bryan never fought in an Octagon, John Cena never fought in an Octagon, the Undertaker never fought in an Octagon! You know why?! They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one! There's a lot of people who wanted to be the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion, the Ultimate Fighting Champion, the Undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion. The Rock never pulled that off, Hulk Hogan never pulled that off, Stone Cold Steve Austin never pulled that off. Know why? They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one!
:And then you've got a bunch of guys in the locker room last night coming up to me saying, ''[mocking] &quot;Hey, Paul, ''I'' could've been the one to break the Streak. I could've beaten the Undertaker.&quot;'' So why didn't you? Randy Orton didn't break the Streak, Shawn Michaels didn't break the Streak, Triple H didn't break the Streak. Know why? They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one because Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1.
:I'm sorry, are you saying &quot;What?&quot; to me
:'''Crowd''': WHAT?!
:'''Paul''': Oh, I forgot who you are, so I'll say it slowly for you. ''Brock...Lesnar...is...the...one...in...twenty...one...and...one!''
:Ladies and gentlemen, there are WWE Hall of Famer''s'', there are Legend''s'', and there are WWE Superstar''s'', and the key to that is that they're all ''plural''. They're all lumped together. And then there's only ''one'' that stands head and shoulders above the rest on a platform of his own. There is only ''one'' Beast Incarnate, there's only ''one'' conqueror of the Streak, and there's only ''one'' Brock Lesnar.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Hellwig AKA Ultimate Warrior''': Speak to me, Warriors! As I thought about what I was gonna say this evening, it's been hard for me to find the words. ''[Pulls a face-paint mask out of his pocket and puts it on]'' Well, then, you shut up, Warrior, and let ''me'' do the talking. No WWE talent becomes a legend on their own. Every man's heart one day beats its final beat, his lungs breathe their final breath, and if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others, and makes them bleed deeper and something than larger than life, then his essence, his spirit will be immortalized by the storytellers, by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him and make the running the man did live forever. You, you, you, you, you, you are the legend makers of Ultimate Warrior. In the back, I see many potential legends, some of them with Warrior spirits, and you will do the same for them. You will decide if they live with the passion and intensity. So much so that you will tell your stories and you will make them legends as well. I am Ultimate Warrior, you are the Ultimate Warrior fans, and the spirit of Ultimate Warrior will run forever!

=== June 9 ===
:'''Dean Ambrose''': The Shield was untouchable. We will go down in the history books as one of the greatest groups in sports entertainment ever. We dominated WWE, we beat everybody, including Evolution. But we weren't healthy. We had a cancer inside of us, little did we know. And that's cancer's name... that cancer's name was Seth Rollins.
:History is full of people like you, Seth. Everybody in this building knows somebody like you, Seth. The kind of guy who would stab his brother in the back. Suck up, sell out to The Authority. When I get the opportunity to rearrange your face -- which I will -- your nose isn't going to be here anymore, it's going to be over here by your ear. I say ear because you're only going to have one left. I'm going to rip your dirty stinking hair out by the roots. I'm going to stuff it in your mouth. There'll be plenty of room from where your teeth used to be.
:Seth Rollins... my brother... you are scum. And we are looking forward to what that scum has to say tonight. We want you stand out here in this ring in front of the whole world and lie through your teeth. We want you to stand out here in the middle of this ring in front of the whole world and we want them to hear Triple H's words coming out of your mouth. We're going to listen to every word of it, and then we're going to beat the hell out of you.
:'''Roman Reigns''': Seth, you committed the most unforgivable sin. You're the scum of the earth! There's things you don't do in life: You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't piss in the wind, and you don't ever stab your brothers in the back. But you're only part of the problem. The other parts are Randy Orton and Triple H. Randy Orton, he runs around here and he thinks everybody owes him something. He thinks he's the face of the company. When I get my hands on you Randy, you're gonna be the ass of this company!
:And when I'm done with you, I'm coming for you Triple H. &quot;The King of Kings&quot; ooooooh.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Ooooooh.
:'''Roman Reigns''': We're gonna have our own Game Of Thrones. BELIEVE THAT!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Seth, Welcome. It's been a lot of...a lot of talk over the last week about why...
:'''Seth Rollins''': Michael, let me let me stop you before you get started here because I don't...''[crowd booing]'' Look I don't get it. I don't understand what all the controversy you talking about is all about. I mean are we just talking about what I did last week? Is that the whole deal? Because to me, that wasn't a big deal. I was just doing what was best for business. What was best for MY business. The Shield Michael. The greatest faction in the history of WWE, created by me. You don't think I have the right to destroy my own creation? It takes an architect, a mastermind to put together a faction like the Shield. Do you think Dean Ambrose is in anyway responsible for that? Dean Ambrose is a lunatic. Given a week to his own devices, he's face down in a ditch. And Roman Reigns...the golden boy...you'll never see anger and fury in a man like you've seen in Roman Reigns. But without someone to harness that, to control it, he's nothing. He's worthless. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are nothing without me. They owe me every ounce of success they have ever achieved!
:'''Michael Cole''': Seth, many people will argue that the Shield was about three individuals who came together to form an awesome team, not just about one man.
:'''Seth Rollins''': You know, I guess we'll find out later tonight when the uh...the pathetic remnants of the Shield have their last hurrah out here against the Wyatt Family. But let me ask you a question Michael. Why is this such a surprise? I took the Shield to the very top, as high as we can go, we beat everybody alright. We conquered the world Michael. At Payback, we beat Evolution in a clean sweep. And from every experience in life, you should learn something. You know what I have learned from Evolution? I learned that to be success in this business, you have to evolve. You have to adapt!
:'''Crowd''':  ''[chanting]'' YOU SOLD OUT!
:'''Seth Rollins''': No no no no no I bought in. I bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. And another thing, another thing ''[points to Michael Cole]'' you won't admit, ''[points to crowd]'' that none of you will admit. It took a lot of guts to do what I did last week. And everybody is fixated on the fact that I stabbed my &quot;brothers&quot; in the back. That I betrayed my &quot;brothers&quot;. And maybe to Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose, we were brothers. But to me, they were just business partners. And I severed a business relationship. You know, for two years every night, I came out here and I put my fist out and I say Believe In The Shield. And every night, what I meant is what I'm going to tell you right now, is that you, and everybody else have better start believing in Seth Rollins!
:So that's it, Michael. That's all you wanted to hear right? Oh oh wait wait wait I heard earlier tonight, I was watching Dean Ambrose say that he was gonna let me say my piece and then they were gonna come out here and kick the hell out of me. Well...''[throws the chair out the ring]'' I said my piece!

=== July 7 ===

:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the 1 in 21-1. I serve as the advocate for ''Brock Lesnar,'' who conquered the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania. I am also pleased and proud to represent...
:'''Cesaro''': Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, you can't talk to those people in English. They're French Canadians. But they don't speak French. No, they speak Quebecois. The French can't stand them, neither can the rest of Canada, ''et tout le monde sait que les Québécois sont pourris.''

=== July 21 ===

:''[After Kofi Kingston and Big E Langston lose their match]''
:'''Xavier Woods''': Everybody listen. I need you to pay attention to what I am about to say. This is exactly what I have been talking about. You cannot move ahead by shaking hands, kissing babies, singing and dancing like a puppet! You cannot move ahead by always doing what you're told. Now...this is our time, this is our place. It is time for us to find focus. It is up to us to find order. Together, it is our time to find purpose. Because we do not ask any longer. Now...we take.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': ''[to Triple H]'' Mr. COO, you...you know how much respect I have for you, sir. I...I hate to point out the obvious, but &quot;Plan A&quot; just...just isn't working with Randy Orton, not while Roman Reigns is around. And...I mean, &quot;Plan B,&quot; I like &quot;Plan B,&quot; Seth Rollins is great, but every time Seth Rollins is gonna try to cash in that Money in the Bank briefcase, Dean Ambrose is going to stop him. Which is why, Triple H, I think the Authority has the uncomfortable decision right now to agree with me that you need to make the dangerous choice of implementing &quot;Plan C.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and my client, ''BROCK LESNAR'' conquered the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania! Which is why, at this moment, my client hereby officially announces his intention to conquer John Cena and take the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at SummerSlam. Now, my client officially acknowledges this divide that permeates through the WWE Universe. There are those who wear their green t-shirts and their pump-up sneakers, and they scream with great passion their love and adulation for their hero by saying at the top of their lungs, &quot;let's go, Cena!&quot; And there are those who offer the contrarian opinion, and whose mommies don't tuck them into bed at night, and they will say with great fervor and passion, &quot;Cena sucks!&quot;
:Now, it doesn't matter to my client which side of the fence you want to ride on. This malpracticing &quot;Doctor of Thuganomics&quot; is in for the beating of a lifetime. I don't just stand out here and spew hype and hyperbole; I exploit historical facts to shove my points down your throats. To wit: I offer you what happened the last time my client, Brock Lesnar, zeroed in on someone and decided to give them a beating.
:''[Shows footage of Brock Lesnar defeating the Undertaker at WrestleMania]''
:You know, for years, everybody said, &quot;I want to be the one to beat the Undertaker and snap the Streak.&quot; But that wasn't good enough for Brock Lesnar. At WrestleMania, my client, Brock Lesnar, gave such a violent beating to the Undertaker that Vince McMahon had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital with the Undertaker because even our heartless chairman was concerned for a dead man's well being and life.
:Oh, John Cena? That same beating awaits you. And please don't confuse my client with some stereotypical villain that comes out here and say, &quot;John, you can escape this beating by giving up your title and laying it down at my feet.&quot; Brock Lesnar makes you no such offer. John Cena, you can't escape this beating.
:At SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will take John Cena down! Brock Lesnar will punch John Cena's face in! John Cena, you are going to be hurt by Brock Lesnar! Brock Lesnar is going to injure John Cena! Brock Lesnar is going to ''mangle'' John Cena! And then, and ''only'' then, Brock Lesnar is going to F-5 John Cena and strip John Cena of the dignity of being the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, the same way Brock Lesnar stripped the Undertaker of his dignity and exposed the Streak as just being a myth; the same myth that Brock Lesnar hears every week on television when John Cena is referred to as being the greatest WWE champion of all time. Fifteen World Titles in 10 years. Now that sounds like something worth conquering.
:I pledge allegiance to the greatness of the conquerer who stands before me, and to his dominance, for which I stand, one Cenation, under John, now divisible, with no more hustle, loyalty, or respect for all!
:Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the 1 in 21-1, and at SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will beat John Cena and become the WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world!

=== August 11 ===

:'''Paul''': He's a 15-time Champ, and he likes to have his fun.
:But not at your expense, so let us school you, son.
:No, we're not from West Newbury; no we can't hip hop like you.
:My client is The Conqueror, I'm just Brock's advocating Jew.
:You see, my name is Paul Heyman, and my client is The Beast,
:And on the 17th of August, on your title, he shall feast.
:You don't like Paul Heyman guys, you think their attitude's too smug.
:You gonna beat Brock's ass, 'cause you the doctor of the thugs?
:I mean, you've beaten all the best, but now Lesnar's on your plate.
:You say your time is now. Brock says your calendar's out-of-date.
:So here's some free advice, with SummerSlam drawing near,
:Get it out your damn system when you say, &quot;the champ is here.&quot;
:Because we're six days away from the West Coast's biggest arena
:Where my client, Brock Lesnar, will conquer John Cena.

=== August 18 ===

:'''Paul''': Um...ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the one who conquered the one who thought he was the one to beat the 1 in 21-1. Last night at SummerSlam, my client didn't just beat, didn't just victimize; my client conquered the titleholder, which affords me, Paul Heyman, the opportunity to proclaim myself the advocate for the brand new, ''reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, Brock Lesnar!''
:Now let's get down to business, shall we? My client has authorized me to let you know a secret that I don't even think the Authority wants revealed tonight, which is, ladies and gentlemen, John Cena...is not here this evening. Aw, don't get me wrong. John Cena would be here if John Cena could be here, but John Cena can't be here because John Cena can't physically appear, and that's all thanks to my client, ''Brock Lesnar!''
:'''Brock''': I love it when you say that. Say that again please.
:'''Paul''': ''Brock Lesnar!'' Now, I have been in this industry in one form or another since I was 14 years old, and I have never in my life seen a superstar take an ass-kicking the likes that John Cena took last night at the hands of my client, Brock Lesnar. Now, we're not just talking ''any'' superstar; we're talking a ''top'' superstar. And not just ''any'' top superstar; we're talking ''the'' top superstar. The top superstar of a generation. And just to put this into historical perspective for you, Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson's run on top, legendary. How long? Three years? Three and a half years, maybe? Stone Cold Steve Austin's run on top. How long? Four years? Four and a half years? There's been one constant in the WWE Title picture, there's been one WrestleMania main event they're guaranteeing almost every year, there's been one ''man'' in WWE for the past ten years, and that man has been John Cena! And you have to give credit where credit's due. Any man in that unprecedented position, after thirty seconds last night, would've just turned the title over to Brock Lesnar; would've given up, would've tapped out, would've survived to fight another day. But no, not John Cena.
:And as I stood right here ''[pointing to the ringside floor]'', with the best seat in the house, and I witnessed the suffering on John Cena's face, it was at that moment, Brock, that I truly understood. 'Cause we'd never gotten it before, but I got it last night. I could never understand why so many people who love John Cena, love him with such a passion. My own children are John Cena fans, which really pisses me off to begin with, but now I get it! Now I understand why! 'Cause John Cena was taking this heinous, vicious, violent beating, and he kept coming back for more, and coming back for more, and coming back for more, and coming back for more, 'cause when John Cena says, &quot;never give up,&quot; John Cena means never give up. John Cena, you earned my respect and my admiration to the point where, if I had time on my hands, I would love to make you a Paul Heyman guy. Yeah. Hey, you can knock me all you want, I'll tell you to the straight. If they wrote ''The History of WWE'' right before Brock Lesnar pinned John Cena last night, John Cena would go down as the single greatest fighting champion in WWE history.
:Unfortunately, my client, Brock Lesnar, does not share these opinions! In Brock Lesnar's universe, John Cena walked into this ring a hero, and left a martyr. And in Brock Lesnar's universe, the credo that martyrdom equals street cred does not apply. And even if it did apply, he who dies with the most street cred wins? ''[Imitates buzzer]'' Wrong answer. In Brock Lesnar's universe, he who dies with the most street cred ''still dies!'' Dies at the hands of the Conqueror, Brock Lesnar, just like the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like the Undertaker's career ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like this whole stupid concept of hustle, loyalty, and respect ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like the Cenation ''died'' and was conquered by Brock Lesnar!
:And here's the problem. The same fate awaits any man that walks into the Beast's lair and tried to take away from Brock Lesnar the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. And it's almost an unfair fight to begin with, because anybody that steps into this ring is just a challenger. Just a man. My client is not a man. My client is the Beast, and this beast will lay wreckage to any man that tries to take that title away from him, which means the same beating awaits, which makes every single title defense by Brock Lesnar not only must-see, but can't-miss.
:Now, if you're too cheap or too stupid or too blind or too ignorant to spend $9.99 on the WWE Network, let me tell you what happened last night. My client, Brock Lesnar, imposed his will on John Cena, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call basic Brockanomics. Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat!
:Brock Lesnar lives by the motto, Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat! Eat, sleep, F-5, repeat! Eat, sleep, victimize, repeat! Eat, sleep, beat, repeat. Eat...sleep...conquer...''[waves hand in front of face like...]'' John Cena.

=== October 20 ===

:''[Dean Ambrose watches ''See No Evil 2'' and slowly eats popcorn when he gets startled by John Cena]''
:'''John Cena''': What are you doing?
:'''Dean''': Doing some research for our match tonight. ''See No Evil 2'' starring Kane; this guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.
:'''John Cena''': This is...this is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy, movie night?
:'''Dean''': See, me and you are kinda like a comic book movie. It's like Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice, and the American way, nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags. I've been known to wear a cape. But really, we just don't mix.
:'''John Cena''': What are you even... we have a match tonight, and the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before Hell in a Cell. How are we gonna handle it?
:'''Dean''': Relax. This might surprise you, but even though I am undefeated in contract-on-a-pole matches, handicapped street fights are my specialty, so here's how we're going to handle it. We're gonna throw punches at anything that moves, and if they insist on taking us down, we're gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That's how we ''handle'' it.
:'''John Cena''': I like it. I like it. The whole Batman thing...does not fit you. You...are much more like the Joker.
:'''Dean''': ''[after John leaves]'' [[The Dark Knight|Why so serious?]]

=== December 8 ===
:'''AJ Lee''': ''[accepting the Diva of the Year Slammy]'' Okay, so, three years ago, I promised all of you I would redefine the term &quot;diva,&quot; and I am very proud to say that I sure have done that. You can be a nerd, you can be a tomboy, and you can still be the longest-reigning Divas Champion of all time. So I hope that means that next year, this award is won by [[w:Bayley (wrestler)|Bayley]] or [[w:Sasha Banks|Sasha]] or [[w:Charlotte Flair|Charlotte]] or [[w:Emma (wrestler)|Emma]] or [[w:Paige (wrestler)|Paige]]. Any of those girls can be next in line for the throne, but I'm not done being queen. And Sunday, I will take back what is mine, and I will become the four-time Divas Champion.

== 2015 ==

=== March 9 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and all day long they've been trying to get me to preview this video but ''instead'' I decided to come out here live and watch this video along with every single one of you.
:''[the video is an interview bewteen Roman Reigns and Byron Saxton, with footage of his career through NXT and WWE, as well as previous facings with Heyman.]''
:'''Paul Heyman''': Mhm, okay. So Roman Reigns makes some interesting points to which, ladies and gentlemen, I shall retort &quot;Here comes the pain&quot;. The reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World: ''BROCK LESNAR!''
:''[Lesnar's music hits as he comes down to the ring. The announcers discuss about Reigns' chances to beat Lesnar.]''
:'''Paul Heyman''': Now, I understand what a fan-pleasing video that was, but to my client, that was nothing short of sheer propaganda. If it came out of the tail end of a bull, it wouldn't smell any different. ''[mocking] &quot;Oh, Roman Reigns was the stand-out in NXT who went on to become the badass of The Shield, where he was also a stand-out, and then he defeated 29 other WWE Superstars at the Royal Rumble to become the #1 Contender, and even defended his right to main-event WrestleMania when he beat Daniel Bryan at WWE Fastlane. Yaaaay!&quot;''
:I've known that family since I was 14 years old, and I already stooged this off to my client. Let me tell you the truth about Roman Reigns because the WWE Universe likes to live vicariously through its own fantasies: that propaganda was pure fantasy. The truth is, when Roman Reigns was 9 years old, his father, who's one generation removed from cannibals, used to take Roman and his bunch of savage cousins down to all the bars in Pensacola where the local football players would hang out, and they would point out the football players and say: &quot;One man left standing, don't bother coming home for dinner tonight.&quot; Roman Reigns' uncle would them take him down to the beach in Pensacola with his other criminal cousins and point out all the muscleheads and say, &quot;One musclehead left standing, don't bother coming home tonight. Take him out with a punch. Take him out with a tackle.&quot; Two moves that you see him do today.
:And the same applies at WrestleMania: &quot;Roman Reigns, go to WrestleMania and beat Brock Lesnar for that title, or don't bother calling yourself a member of this family.&quot; It's a powerful, profound motivation for any young man—let alone the baddest member of that family—except for one problem: Roman Reigns, you will not beat Brock Lesnar for that title at WrestleMania. Even more so, Roman Reigns, I promise you this: Brock Lesnar will not lose the title to you at WrestleMania.
:And just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean the whole world's not against us. I know what goes on behind the scenes. So if The Authority has it in their head that somehow get that title away from Brock Lesnar and place it on Roman Reigns, so Seth Rollins can cash-in Money In The Bank on Roman Reigns—'cause he ain't man enough to cash it in on Brock Lesnar—and that's what they're thinking, because Seth Rollins will be cheaper as champion than Brock Lesnar, let me spell this one out for you: If anybody has it in their heads to pull a Montreal Screwjob on Brock Lesnar for the title at WrestleMania, my client assures me any single person involved in a Montreal scenario will not leave that stadium alive!
:You see, while Roman Reigns is coming in to WrestleMania with the mindset that he wants to stay a member of his family, even if he has to bite Brock Lesnar's face off, Brock Lesnar can get his face stitched up, but the beating, the sheer beating that Brock Lesnar's going to give Roman Reigns at WrestleMania, it's gonna make every single one of you respect Roman Reigns, because when they're wheeling Roman Reigns down the street after the beating that he takes from Brock Lesnar, each and everyone of you is going to say: &quot;Yo, that's one badass Samoan. He took an ass-kicking like nobody else I've ever seen.&quot; When Roman Reigns is too— ''[Heyman's microphone is shut off. He walks around in the ring and begins clapping at the microphone.]''
:You know what I really like the most about this? I like how [[w:Wizard of Oz (character)|Oz]] behind the curtain or in the production truck likes to shut off my microphone, instead of coming down to the ring and take it out of my hand... Instead of someone in the position of authority around here comes down to the ring and takes that title away from Brock Lesnar. And if you would like to take the title away from Brock Lesnar: Go ahead! Grab a leg! Take your best shot! Because if Brock Lesnar wants to spend his summer unifying the WWE and the UFC Title, ''THAT'S WHAT HE'S GONNA DO!'' ''[The mic cuts off again]'' Hey, censor this one: If Brock Lesnar decides to go to Las Vegas and smack around Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao—''[talking to Lesnar]'' by the way, do you realize that if you combine Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao, together they're still ten pound shy of you?—that's what Brock Lesnar is going to do! Here's a message for everyone to keeps on shutting off my damn microphone: This title no longer belongs to WWE! This title belongs to Brock Lesnar! It's his! ''AND HE'S NOT GIVING IT BACK!'' 
:In 2002, they took a rookie and they put him in the ring with The Rock, 'cause they thought The Rock would make headlines beating a former NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion, and that rookie set Dwayne Johnson off to Hollywood. In 2014, they took this accomplished athlete, the first man to hold the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Championship, the UFC Title and the WWE Title, and they fed him to the unbeatable Undertaker at WrestleMania, thinking he be the 0 in 22-0, and he didn't just kill the streak: he damn nearly killed The Undertaker, to where now Bray Wyatt has to resurrect him. At SummerSlam, one beast suplexed John Cena out of the main event in WrestleMania. So here's my question, ladies and gentlemen, 'cause it's all the same answer. Who did that to The Rock? Who did that to The Undertaker? Who did that to John Cena? And what the hell do you think he's going to do to Roman Reigns at WrestleMania? The answer to these questions is this: Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar: ''The reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World'', The Beast, The Conqueror, and the one that's gonna leave Roman Reigns flat on his back at WrestleMania... ''BROCK LESNAR!''

=== March 30 ===

:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I am the advocate for the most non-PG ass-kicker of the PG era, ''BROCK LESNAR!'' So let's talk about it, let's get it out of the way. What happened last night at WrestleMania? My client, as we told you he would do, laid a beating on a Samoan badass the likes of which no one had ever seen before at WrestleMania. My client took his hands, put them on the #1 challenger for the World Title and did nothing but suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex him right through the canvas! ''[The crowd chants, &quot;Suplex City!&quot; which draws a laugh from Brock]'' Or, as my client Brock Lesnar said, &quot;Suplex City, bitch!&quot;
:So now, Brock Lesnar is bitch-slapping Roman Reigns all over the ring, and what happens? What happens? This Samoan, this Samoan whose predecessors were eating human flesh, was sitting there eating the pain and liking the taste and smiling at Brock Lesnar and saying, &quot;I'm gonna bring the same right back to you!&quot; I will not spend my time tonight singing Roman Reigns's [''sic''] praises. I will tell you he can sink or swim on his own from here, but my client ''almost'' respects Roman Reigns. Kid, you still got a ways to go.
:So then, Brock Lesnar got bored. Brock Lesnar was hungry. He wanted to go out for dinner. And Brock Lesnar says, &quot;good night, everybody,&quot; picks Roman Reigns up on his shoulders, F-5!...And here comes slimy, disgusting, little Seth Rollins, who cashes in Money in the Bank, makes it a triple threat, Curb Stomps everyone in sight, and scores a pinfall on the challenger, not the champion, and scurries away the most undeserving WWE Champion of anybody's lifetime. ''[aside to Brock]'' I got this.
:You all know my father was a prominent New York attorney, and I have apprised my client of his legal rights, that I can go to Sacramento, get an immediate injunction at the 7th Circuit Court [''sic''], I can have the decision reversed, Seth Rollins will no longer be the winner, I will tie WWE up in litigation for the next three or four months, have the title held up. Unfortunately for me, my client Brock Lesnar thinks all lawyers are scumbags, and Brock Lesnar will not file an injunction, will not go to the 7th Circuit Court, does not want to tie up WWE in litigation; my client Brock Lesnar wants to invoke his rematch clause! And ladies and gentlemen, I have been authorized to tell you, that rematch will not happen at SummerSlam, will not happen at next year's WrestleMania, will not happen at Extreme Rules, will not happen at Payback! That rematch clause is being invoked right here, right now, tonight!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Seth''': You know, I...I actually just spoke with Stephanie McMahon before I came out here, and I...I'm feeling kinda jet-lagged, to be honest, and...and my foot kinda hurts a little bit from Curb Stomping you and Roman Reigns last night. So...I'm a fighting champion, and I'm going to give you your rematch, just...not tonight.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''(after Lesnar attacks J&amp;J Security, and F5'd Michael Cole, as well as a cameraman)'' Your actions have consequences! You're suspended indefinitely! GET OUT OF MY RING!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''(being interviewed by Renee Young backstage afterwards about Brock Lesnar's actions)'' You know, Brock Lesnar will get his rematch when I say he gets his rematch but, Brock Lesnar, actually, I-I think I need to hit Brock Lesnar where it hurts. I don't think suspending him is enough. Actually, I think I'm gonna have to fine Brock Lesnar. I'm gonna have to fine him for all o-of the damage, all of the property damage, the emotional distress of these  employees, you know. And if Brock Lesnar thinks for just one second that he can go back to MMA as he announced on SportsCenter, he just  signed a contract with WWE. And you know what that means, Renee?  That means I own that son of a bitch. (leaves)

=== July 20 ===

:''[The Undertaker makes his entrance, as he attacked Brock Lesnar last night at Battleground]''
:'''The Undertaker''': I stand here tonight a relentless, remorseless, cold-blooded, vengeful grim reaper. Streaks are made to be broken. That is the painful truth, but Lesnar, you had to continuously, week after week, month after month, remind everyone of your greatest accomplishment. Now, I say, enough! You have taken what once was smoldering ashes, and turned it into a raging inferno. Last night was my true resurrection. You see Lesnar, you can't kill what won't die. Unleashed forces will now set our careers toward new destinies. And I will challenge your mortality. I will conquer what has yet to be conquered. In the end, just like all living things, be it man, or beast, you will rest in peace!

=== September 21 ===

:'''Paige''': Charlotte, she's so nice. This is all so nice. And you know what, you won the Championship yesterday, and this whole celebration is for Charlotte. But let's just think about who really made this possible, and that's me! No, shut up, Becky, shut up. This is patronizing. &quot;Oh, I love you, daddy&quot; and &quot;oh my gosh, I wouldn't be here without you.&quot; Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sound like you just been inducted into the bloody Hall of Fame is what you sound like. Yes, I won the Championship too. You won it, so what? I won it on my first day. I won it twice. And you know what? Here's a little secret, champ to champ: title reigns end. And Nikki's going to get her rematch and she's going to bring her little hippie sister and her little third wheel and they're going to take that back and the Divas division is going to go back right where it was. There is no revolution, Charlotte! You are just a placeholder. No, no, no, Becky back off. You know what? You're never going to be a Divas champion. You know why? Because you're the least relevant of all of us. Let's go to Team BAD. They're all flash, no substance. Then you got Lana and Summer too busy trying to figure out who they want to climb onto next rather than the Divas division. And then you've got Nattie. Nattie, where are you? Do you even work here anymore? I can't see you, Mrs. Hart. And then you've got the Bellas. We all know the ''real'' reason they got to where they are. You all know the real reason. No, I'm not done. Stop trying to act like you are somebody because you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for [[w:Ric Flair|your old man]].

=== November 9 ===

:'''Triple H''': I just want to take a moment to acknowledge a great champion. I want to take a moment to acknowledge The Man, Seth Rollins. See, when Steph and I chose Seth Rollins as the future of the WWE, we had extremely high hopes for what that future would be, and Seth Rollins exceeded all those expectations.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' Thank you, Rollins!
:'''Triple H''': That's right. Thank you, Seth Rollins, for giving back to us the faith that we had in you. Because every obstacle that was put in front of him, every opponent, Seth Rollins made his way through and retained the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. But on his way to becoming one of the greatest WWE Champions of all time, tragedy fell upon Seth Rollins.  In Dublin, Ireland, Seth [[w:Unhappy triad|blew out his knee]]. And while Seth Rollins is still The Man, Seth Rollins, right now, is no longer the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. ''[Mixed cheers and boos from crowd]'' That creates an interesting opportunity. Who is gonna step up? Who is gonna fill that void?
:A few weeks ago, a few weeks ago, we determined a new #1 Contender. A #1 Contender who was going to face Seth Rollins at Survivor Series for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. I would like to bring that man out here right now. Please welcome Roman Reigns!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Triple H''': ''[on the displayed Championship]'' Looks good, doesn't it? See, as of this moment, Seth Rollins is no longer the World Heavyweight Champion, and as you know, as the whole world knows by now, there is a tournament taking place that starts tonight to determine who will be the brand new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And to me, that seems unfair. That seems unfair that Seth Rollins is no longer the World Heavyweight Champion, and it seems unfair that, while you earned the right to be the #1 Contender, it seems unfair to me that you just go back to the bottom of the pile and get thrown into this tournament and have to earn your way back up. It's terribly unfair, and the reality is, it doesn't have to be that way. It could be a lot easier. It could be a ''whole'' lot easier. You see, it could be that you don't have to enter that tournament. All those other guys could step into this ring and do battle just for the right to fight ''you'' at Survivor Series to see who becomes the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That, in my opinion, seems much more fair.
:And before you say anything, I want you to understand one thing, and I've never told you this before. But the reality of it is, back when we made Seth Rollins the future of the WWE, we strongly considered you first, and I mean ''strongly'' considered. All that time when Evolution was fighting the Shield, I was scouting. I'm always scouting, and I was looking at you. You have it all, Roman. The size, the strength, the speed, charisma, athleticism, the aggression, everything. You have everything you could want, except for one thing. Except for one thing, and that is the one thing that Seth Rollins had, was the willingness to do absolutely anything to be The Man. And that is why Seth Rollins has been the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and you have not. How'd it feel? How'd it feel, WrestleMania, after winning the Royal Rumble, after going through all those people, after finally earning that spot, for Seth Rollins to roll in there and take your dream after from you? How'd that feel, Roman? Huh? Sting a little bit? I know how that felt, it sucks. Right? You're damn right, it does. You'll never know. Could you have beaten Brock Lesnar? Maybe. Could you have been the WWE World Heavyweight Champion? You'll never know. Could you have kept this title around your waist? You'll never know because Seth Rollins had a willingness to do absolutely anything, that you did not have, and he walked out of WrestleMania as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
:And now, here you are. Here you are all these months later, and you still have all of that. All of those positives. You have dug and scratched and clawed to earn your way back to this, and you have met with wall after wall after wall. I can make those walls go away.
:It doesn't have to that difficult, Roman, and I'm not asking you to do anything that you haven't already done. You've earned your spot. You've earned your spot. I'm asking you, do you want to be The Man? Because if you want to be The Man, Roman, all you have to do is be ''my'' man.
:'''Roman Reigns''': So you're gonna give me everything I've already earned, and all I have to do is sell out?
:'''Triple H''': &quot;Sell-out.&quot; &quot;Sell-out,&quot; that's an interesting word. You know what &quot;sell-out&quot; is? Sell-out is a word that people that don't succeed created to explain why people did what they could not do. Sell-out is a word they chant because they can never achieve what you can achieve. Don't... Roman, don't let some misguided morals ruin what you could get out of life. Are you kidding me? You think they're not gonna criticize? No matter what you do, if you get this, and I don't care how you get it, criticism comes with the gate, pal. That's the way it works. You win this, you don't wanna get criticized? Then do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. But if you want this, then be a reality man. See the reality of the situation. Understand that this comes with criticism, and you will never be liked by everybody, Roman.
:Understand what I am offering you here. This is everything you've ever wanted. From the time you were a boy, ''[places the belt over Roman's shoulder]'' you wanted to put this on your shoulder, right? You wanted to say, &quot;I'm the man.&quot; You wanted everything that comes with it. The respect, all of it. You don't wanna die, and on your tombstone, it says, &quot;yeah, but everybody liked me.&quot; You want them to build a monument in your honor. Right? I am offering you an opportunity here for you and what is most important in your life, and I know what is most important in your life outside of this. It's your family. It's your family. I'm not talking about setting up your wife and your daughter, I'm talking about setting up your daughter's daughter, Roman. I'm talking about giving you everything you have ever wanted out of life. ''[Takes belt back and places on pedestal]'' All you have to do, all you have to do is be my man.
:'''Roman Reigns''': Everything I have in life, I earned it. Everything that I've done, I did it my way. I've never taken a handout, and nobody can ever take that away from me. But it ain't going down tonight; you can take your offer, and you can shove it.
:'''Triple H''': Roman, thank you. Thank you for reminding me why I didn't choose you in the first place.

=== November 16 ===

:'''Dean Ambrose''': If I win the WWE Championship at Survivor Series, I'm gonna turn this whole place upside-down! We're throwing all the rules out the window! Ain't gonna be no more suits, ain't gonna be no more ties. More action, less talking! I want more pyro, I want breakfast for dinner, we're gonna replace Michael Cole with a fish tank. We're throwing all the rules out the window. This Sunday at Survivor Series, I make the entire WWE the Ambrose Asylum.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[At the contract signing for the WWE Divas Championship match at Survivor Series]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Ladies, this is what the WWE fans are trying to figure out here. I mean, I was with you guys when you were at your NXT tryouts. You guys bonded, and over the last couple of years, you've become the best of friends. But what the WWE Universe can't figure out is where it all went wrong. What happened to the friendship between you two?
:'''Paige''': First of all, this is no ''friendships'', Michael. When you're a true champion, there is no room for emotion ''or'' friendships. So I had to teach Charlotte that the hard way, and I intend to do so again this Sunday when I take back ''my'' Divas Championship.
:''[Paige signs the contract]''
:'''Charlotte''': It must be exhausting being this bitter and angry all the time.
:'''Paige''': How have I been all angry, Charlotte? I don't even look that way.
:'''Charlotte''': What happened to you, Paige? What made you like this? You know, I didn't get into this business to make friends. But when I started at NXT, forget the fact that we came from the same background. I can't even believe I'm about to say this: I wanted to ''be'' like you. I was the naive, sweet Carolina girl; you were the British badass. You know, we didn't grow up like most little girls. We sat at home watching our parents on the television night after night sacrificing their body. They cared about the WWE almost as much as they cared about us. That's why my [[w:Reid Flair|late brother]]...''[starts to tear up]'' When my little brother passed away, you were there for me. I... I am here today because of him, and that's the only reason to fulfill his dream. We were family.
:'''Paige''': You know what, Charlotte? It doesn't matter what I said or what I thought about you, okay? This isn't a sorority house, sweetheart. I have been using you since day one.
:'''Charlotte''': &quot;Using&quot; me? Using me? Well, you must really suck at using me, because that's why I'm the Divas Champion and you're not. But the sad thing is, Paige, it didn't have to be like that. Because it's not about the Title, it's about who's got your back at the end of the day.
:'''Paige''': And where did you learn that, Dr. Phil or ''Seventeen'' magazine? Or...you gonna keep crying, Charlotte?
:'''Charlotte''': [[w:The Hardy Boyz|Team Xtreme]], D-Generation X, the Four Horsemen. Team PCB was going to change the Divas division...until you let your selfish ways get in the way.
:'''Paige''': Oh, okay, okay. First of all, wrong. I threw PCB away because I deserve that championship more than anyone, and especially more than you.
:'''Charlotte''': You're not a champion! You ''never'' were! A champion is a role model. A champion is someone those little girls sitting at home and sitting in that audience want to be like.
:I won't be Champion forever, but when I lose that title, it won't be this Sunday, and it damn sure won't be to someone like you.
:'''Paige''': Wow, Charlotte. You know what? That was quite a speech. I had a tear in my eye. Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. That's confidence. You are so naive, Charlotte, it makes me sick, and it is embarrassing.
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[as Paige is about to leave]'' Oh, wait a moment, Charlotte, the contract.
:'''Paige''': You know what? You know what? I am so sick of this. You think that everyone has your back, and that's a bunch of bull. No one has your back, and no one will have your back this Sunday. Not even Daddy, Mr. Four Horsemen himself. You know what? Where are you, Ric? Where are you? Why don't you come on out here, and drop one of those famous elbowdrops on your jacket. 'Cause you know what? It is ''so'' impressive, you old fart!
:'''Charlotte''': You shut your mouth, or there won't be a Survivor Series! You won't even make it out of this building!
:'''Michael Cole''': Charlotte, Paige has signed the contract...
:'''Charlotte''': I will continue to fight each and every day, just like everyone in my entire family has, just like my dad did, just like my little brother did, and just like I do!
:'''Paige''': You know what, Charlotte? You're wrong, sweetheart, 'cause your little baby brother...he didn't have much fight in ''him'', did he?
:''[Charlotte lunges at Paige, and the two brawl before being separated by referees]''

== 2016 ==

=== February 8 ===

:'''Daniel Bryan''': ''[on the YES! chants from the audience]'' So, just now, I was able to close my eyes and feel that. Like, literally feel it in a way that I've never gotten to feel it before, because when we're here, we always have to keep our eyes open. But just that experience, literally, I'm never gonna forget it.
:But now...but now, it is time for me to address the giant elephant in the room.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' NO!
:'''Daniel''': I know, I know, I didn't want to shave my beard either. But the thing is, is that I wanted to cut my hair, and once I cut my hair, I looked really silly with this giant beard. And this is just my one cheap plug, is that I cut my hair for an organization called [http://www.wigs4kids.org/ Wigs 4 Kids], and one of the nice things about them is that they make wigs for kids who have had cancer, and they don't charge the families at all for that, so...if there is anything worthwhile that comes out of what I'm saying tonight, that's it right there.
:But now to some less fun stuff. So...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' NO!
:'''Daniel''': Trust me, I don't want to be doing this any more than you want me to be doing this. But the truth is, I've been wrestling since I was 18 years old, and within the first five months of my wrestling career, I'd already had three concussions. And for years after that, I would get a concussion here and there, or here, or there, and it gets to point that, when you've been wrestling for 16 years, that adds up to a lot of concussions. And it gets to a point where they tell you that you can't wrestle anymore. ''[Audience boos]'' And for a long time, I fought that because I'd gotten EEGs and brain MRIs and neuropsychological evaluations, and all of them said this, that I was fine and I could come back and I could wrestle, and I trained like I would come back and I would wrestle, and I was ready at a moment's notice if WWE needed me, I wanted to come back and wrestle, because this...I have loved this in a way that I have never loved anything else.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' THANK YOU, DANIEL!
:'''Daniel''': But a week and a half ago, I...I took a test that said maybe my brain isn't as okay as I thought it was, and I have a family to think about, and my wife and I want to start having kids soon.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' YES!
:'''Daniel''': That's what Brie says all the time!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
:'''Daniel''': So...it is with a heavier heart and the utmost sadness that I officially announcement my retirement. But if there's one thing...so I've gone through all these complex emotions in this last little bit. You know, I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been frustrated, I've been all of that. But today, when I woke up this morning, I felt nothing but gratitude because I have gotten to do what I love for nearly 16 years. Let me tell you a few of the things that I love, okay? Let me tell you a few of the things that I love. Nobody outside of this arena or this city cares about this, but I love the Seahawks. Here's another thing that I love. Here's another thing that I love. Right before my music hits, and it makes that weird sound right before it comes on, and when you guys react every single time, even if I'm tired as hell or I've been hurting, every time, I get this weird little smirk on my face that's not like...but it just...it brings joy to my heart, and I love it every single time.
:Do you know what else that I love? I love hitting the ropes and diving right here. ''[Sticks himself between the top two ropes]'' It has made me feel like Superman, and your guys' reaction to that made me feel like Superman. I love that.
:Here's another thing that I love. Here's another thing that I love. I have wrestled in the parking lot of gas stations, ''and'' I have wrestled in front of 70-plus thousand people in New Orleans. Here's another thing that I love. I have gotten to meet the most amazing people on this planet, such as somebody who looks like a monster, but is the smartest man I know, like Kane. I have gotten to meet a man who has been my mentor and my friend for over 16 years in William Regal. I have gotten to meet children that are stronger than I've ever thought anybody could be, like [[w:Connor Michalek|Connor]].
:Grateful. I am very grateful, and I'm grateful because wrestling doesn't owe me or anybody back there, it doesn't owe us anything. WWE doesn't owe us anything, nobody owes...you guys don't owe us anything. We do this because we love to do this. And then, it was strange because I did this because I love to do this, and then all of a sudden, you guys just got behind me ''[starting to tear up]'' in a way that I never thought was possible, in a way that fans shouldn't necessarily get behind a guy who's 5'8&quot; and 190 pounds. You guys got behind me in a way that made me feel that I was more than just me, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm grateful because, a little over two years ago, in this very arena, you guys hijacked ''Raw''.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' YES!
:'''Daniel''': And they were trying to do a big championship coronation between Randy Orton and John Cena. They were combining the WWE Championship with the World Heavyweight Championship, and they had all the former Champions out here, and this was gonna be the most important match in WWE history, and you guys just wouldn't stop chanting &quot;Daniel Bryan!&quot;
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' DANIEL BRYAN!
:'''Daniel''': But that's not why I'm grateful. My dad was sitting right over there, where the guy with the goat mask with the Daniel Bryan sign is standing right now. And my dad got to see that, his son getting that kind of reaction from all you people. ''[Tearing up]'' And that was the last time my dad ever got to see me wrestle, and you guys made it special for him and for me and for my entire family. I am grateful. I am grateful, because of wrestling, I got to meet the most wonderful woman in the world, who's beautiful, she is smart, and she completes me in a way that I didn't even think was possible, and that's because of wrestling. I am grateful. I am grateful because I get to come out here in front of what I feel is my hometown fans. I get to announce my retirement in front of a bunch of people who love me. Right?
:That special moment that I had with my dad, I get to share this moment with my mom, with my sister, with my family, with my friends. I get to share that with them, I get to share it with you, I get to share it with my wife in the back, I get to share it with all of these wonderful human beings that I have spent the last 15 years of my life with. I am grateful.
:Now, tomorrow morning, I start...I start a new life. A life where I am no longer a wrestler. But that is tomorrow, and that is not tonight! And by damn, I have one more night to feel this energy, and to feel this crowd! So if I could just get one last &quot;YES!&quot; chant, I would really appreciate it!

===May 23===
:''[Ric Flair has put over Charlotte in her WWE Women's Championship title defense against Natalya at Extreme Rules]''
:'''Charlotte Flair''': You know what I remember growing up? I remember Christmases, I remember birthdays... ''[miffed at &quot;What?&quot; chant]'' If I - if you &quot;What? me one more time ''[chant]'', that's fine because Dad you know what I remember Mom saying? ''[pause]'' That Daddy's always with you. You weren't ever there, because I always had to watch you on television, but actually Dad I fully understand why you weren't there because all those years, I couldn't understand why you weren't there, you know Mom had to rub my head because I was crying, but now I get it you know why? Because I'm the WWE Women's Champion. I've never been more powerful! I've never been more confident! Dad, and now I understand, you know what it felt like to be The Man. I'm The Woman! ''[sighs]'' That's why I finally have the courage to say to you, Dad... ''[points away]'' GET OUT OF MY RING! ''[Ric is not moved]'' What, are you hard of hearing? I said, get out! ''[Ric softly asks, Why]'' Do you know what it's like to walk into a room and just say &quot;Hey look, that's Ric Flair's daughter!&quot; No, you know who you are? You're &quot;Charlotte's dad&quot;! ''[sees Flair's emotions change; mocks]'' Oh don't do this, don't do this... ''[for emphasis]'' I don't need you anymore. You're immortal to them. To me, dead. ''[shrugs off Ric appealing to her]'' Get out of my ring, I'm done with this sad story. Get out. Get out - ''[keeps distance]'' Don't take another step near me - actually you know what you can do? You can just watch me on TV, like I did the last 30 years to you. ''[teases Ric's sad face and makes palm shrug as he tries to talk to her]'' Ohh, out you go! Get out of my ring. Don't make me, don't make me do this. I don't want to embarrass you. ''[Ric gets through the ropes and leaves]''

=== June 20 ===

:'''Dean Ambrose''': Oh, boy, last night was a long night in Las Vegas, and I'm not even talking about the stuff I ''don't'' remember. There was an incident with a security guard at the Hard Rock, there was this whole Cleveland Cavaliers celebration party thing. ''[A few boos and cheers from the crowd]'' I don't know, I don't like those guys anyway, don't look at me. They were freakishly tall and it weirded me out, I don't know. I think I had my foot ran over by a cab. Oh, yeah, and this other thing happened where I had to climb a 15-foot ladder and win the Money in the Bank ladder match! I think, at some point in the night, I almost got bitten by a dog. I mean, it was a long night. Oh, yeah, and then, this other thing happened, where I cashed in my Money in the Bank contract on Seth Rollins, and I became the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion!
:You wanna talk about another guy who had a long night, Seth Rollins. He was just the right guy at the right place at the ''wrong time.'' So listen up, kiddos, Uncle Dean-o's gonna give your lesson of the week. So listen up, pay attention. What goes around, comes back around. You know what, let me give you another lesson while I'm out here pontificating and stuff, here's another lesson for you. Hard work pays off! Busting your ass, keeping your nose to the grindstone pays off! And when it pays off, baby, it pays off ''big!''
:So Seth called himself &quot;The Man,&quot; Roman called himself &quot;The Guy.&quot; I don't know, what does that make me? The Dude?
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' DUDE!
:'''Dean''': Oh, I kinda like it. I don't care, you can call me whatever you want, but you call me Champion! I've been chasing this for two years, and this is the reason I kept picking myself off... picking myself up, dusting myself off, patching myself back together; this is why I kept on trucking, this is why I kept on swinging. And as I sit here with this Championship in the middle of this ring live on ''Monday Night Raw'', I can tell you, baby, it was all worth it 'cause we ain't having no hard times anymore!

== 2017 ==

=== March 6 ===

:'''Corey Graves''': I understand why Chicago likes these two. Enzo and Cass remind them of the local baseball teams. Cass is like the Cubs: it may take a hundred years, but he might be a champion. Enzo's more like the White Sox: if he ever becomes a champion, you can be guaranteed there's a scandal involved.

=== April 3 ===

:'''Roman Reigns''': This is my yard now. (people heavily boo loudly)

=== June 19===
:'''Big Cass''': ''(When asked if he attacked Enzo Amore)'' You're damn right I did it! Do you have any idea what it's like teaming up with you, Enzo? You just constantly run your mouth about God knows what every single minute of the day. You even ran your mouth to Conor McGregor. Do you know how many times I've wanted to slap you right upside your head? How many times I wanted to knock you out myself? But I didn't do it because I felt bad for you, Enzo. Because everybody behind that curtain doesn't like you, I felt bad for you, Enzo. Because everybody in the back doesn't like you, I felt bad for you, Enzo. And I put up with your crap. For years, I put up with your crap every single day until finally, I snapped. And I had to admit, it felt damn good when I attacked you from behind. You all right? And I would have snapped your little neck like a twig if I wanted to, but I didn't because I wanted to watch you suffer. For all the years of crap I had to put with in NXT! In Tampa! Here on Monday Night Raw! For all the crap I had to put up with, I wanted to watch you suffer! And when things got a little bit hot and fingers pointed in my direction, I cooled them down because I wanted to see just how smart you were. I wanted to see if you were smart enough to realize what was going on around you or if you are just as dumb as you look and I realized that you are even dumber. You are nothing more than dead weight that's holding me back from reaching my potential in the WWE! You are just dead weight holding me down when I should be rising to the top of the WWE! You're the reason I have never been a champion in WWE! I'm the star here! I'm the future! I'm where the money is! And you, your mouth just writes checks that your ass can't cash. Because Big Cass has always been behind you. Well, not for long because me and you, we are through.
:''(Big Cass attacks Enzo Amore once more with a big boot)''
:'''Big Cass''': And you can't teach ''that''.

=== October 23 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': You know what's funny? The way you all react to the manner in which I introduce my client, Brock Lesnar, because ''someone'' has a problem with the word &quot;undisputed.&quot; Someone wants to dispute the fact that Brock Lesnar is ''the'' champion in World Wrestling Entertainment. This same someone, who's over on ''SmackDown Live'' has barely survived the title challenge of Randy Orton. This same someone has barely survived the title challenge of Shinsuke Nakamura. This same someone is sitting up at night, plotting and planning, trying to figure out how to barely survive the potential title challenge of AJ Styles. Meanwhile, right over here on the flagship show ''Monday Night Raw'', Brock Lesnar has eaten through the single most stacked heavyweight division in the history of WWE. That fact is undisputed.
:You know what else is undisputed? That we live in the age of trash-talking. Everybody wants to trash-talk, everybody wants to hurl insults, everybody wants to not give props where props are due. Everyone wants to run down their opponent, everybody wants to hurl insults at their opponents' families, everyone wants to be the king of trash-talk, brand their opponents as losers instead of box office attractions.
:You know what else is undisputed? That the king of the trash-talk is the advocate with the mic in his hand right now. And yet, despite the fact that you clamor for me to trash-talk, I don't trash-talk Brock Lesnar's opponents, and I'll tell you why. Because any man deemed worthy of stepping into the ring to ''fight'' Brock Lesnar must be a real man, must have a whole lot of merit going on behind him. I didn't trash-talk Goldberg, I praised Goldberg, and rightfully so. I didn't trash-talk Samoa Joe, I praised Samoa Joe, and rightfully so. I didn't trash-talk Braun Strowman, I praised Braun Strowman, and oh, my God, rightfully so.
:But ''you?'' Jinder Mahal? The make-believe maharaja, with the Singh-Singh-Singh-Singh singalong Brothers standing behind you doing ''my'' shtick of introducing you? Are you kidding me? You're not Brock Lesnar's equal, you're not Brock Lesnar's contemporary, you're not Brock Lesnar's counterpart on ''SmackDown Live'', you're not even a worthy pretender to the throne of being WWE Champion! When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, &quot;Macho Man&quot; Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and, ladies and gentlemen, my client ''Brock Lesnar!'' We don't think of Jinder Mahal, a consolation prize champion offered to ''SmackDown Live'' when Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan realized they got the shaft in the Superstar shake-up.
:And please don't think that my client is waving the flag of ''Monday Night Raw'', marching into Survivor Series to defend the honor of ''Raw'' over ''SmackDown'' in the name of brand supremacy. Ladies and gentlemen, there is no battle for brand supremacy. Any brand that brags Brock Lesnar—say that three times fast—the brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the #1 brand. The brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the supreme brand. The brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the flagship brand with the #1 champion, the place to be in World Wrestling Entertainment. That's undisputed. And because Jinder Mahal disputes that fact, Jinder Mahal, at Survivor Series, you're going to Suplex City.

== 2018 ==

=== October 22 ===

:'''Roman Reigns''': I feel like... I feel like I owe everyone an apology. For months, maybe even a full year, I've come out here and spoke as Roman Reigns, and I said a lot of things, you know. I said that I'd be here every single week, I said I'd be a fightin' champion, I said I was gonna be consistent, and I said I was gonna be a workhorse, but...that's all lies. It's a lie because the reality is, my real name is Joe, and I've been living with leukemia for 11 years. And unfortunately, it's back. And because the leukemia is back, I cannot fulfill my role, I can't be that fightin' champion, and I'm gonna have to relinquish the Universal Championship.
:And I'm not gonna lie, I'll take every prayer you send my way, but I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm not looking for you to feel bad for me, because I have faith. When I was 22 years old, I was diagnosed with this, and very quickly, I was able to put in in remission. But I'm not gonna lie, that was the hardest time of my life. I didn't have a job, I didn't have any money, I didn't have a home, and I had a baby on the way, and football was done with me.
:But you wanna know who gave me a chance? The team that gave me a chance was the WWE. And when I finally made it to the main roster and I was on the road, they put me in front of all of you, the WWE Universe. And to be honest, y'all have made my dreams come true. And it didn't matter if you cheered me, it didn't matter if you booed me. You've always reacted to me, and that is the most important thing, and for that, I have to say thank you so much.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting] THANK YOU, ROMAN!''
:'''Roman''': Thank you. But you all know the deal. You all know how life is. Life is not fair, it's not all peaches and cream. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. And right now, the best thing for me to do is to go home, to focus on my family and my health.
:But I wanna make one thing clear. By no means is this a retirement speech. ''[The audience cheers]'' Because after I'm done whoopin' leukemia's ass once again, I'm coming back home. And when I do, it's not just be about titles and being on top. No, it's about a purpose. I'm coming back because I want to show all of you, the whole world, I wanna show my family, my friends, my children, and my wife that when life throws a curve ball at me, I am the type of man that will stand in that batter's box, I will crowd the plate, I will choke up, and I will swing for the fences every single time! Because I will beat this, and I will be back, so you will see me very, very soon. Once again, thank you so much, God bless you, and I love you. Believe that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Paul Heyman''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and tonight, my thoughts and my prayers are with the champion of a man you know as Roman Reigns. It is humbling to me amongst the members of that locker room tonight and to have been in the presence of such courage and such greatness. And when I go home tonight and I have to explain this all to my children, what I want my children to understand about this show, this presentation, this business, this industry that we all love is, what you witnessed tonight, as much as you witnessed that courage, what you witnessed was sacrifice. Because what Roman Reigns did tonight was, he sacrificed his career aspirations because, as he said, he couldn't fulfill the obligations of being the Universal Champion, because to everyone that walks through that locker room, the title deserves the best that any champion has to offer it.
:You, as the WWE Universe, the WWE fanbase, those who take pride in WWE have the right to point to the Universal Champion and say, that's the best, that is everything this presentation, this show, this industry has to offer. That's #1. And until 8:05 PM, Eastern Time tonight, we had the right to brag that the very best, the #1 was the Universal Champion.
:So now, what do we do? Roman Reigns does not want the title to stop because he can no longer defend it. Roman Reigns is the first person to tell you the show must go on, and so it does. At Crown Jewel, Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, and only one can say, &quot;I'm the one that carries on the legacy that Roman Reigns brought to this ring tonight. I'm the one that's worthy of the prestige of being the champion. I'm the one that's worthy of the honor of being the champion. I'm the one that's worthy of ''being'' the champion,&quot; and that sure as hell ain't Braun Strowman! There's only one being in this match at Crown Jewel that's worthy of the honor of being your champion, worthy of the dignity of being your champion, worthy of walking into the Octagon and laying that title down in front of the sports universe and saying, &quot;I am the best WWE has to offer, I'm the Universal Champion, and my name is ''Brock Lesnar!''&quot;
:So Braun Strowman can walk around all that he wants and bill himself as a monster! My client Brock Lesnar doesn't ''bill'' himself as a beast. He's not a man, he ''is'' a beast! And Braun Strowman, you're not in Brock Lesnar's league. You're not in Brock Lesnar's category. You're not in Brock Lesnar's stratosphere. Braun Strowman, you can't compare to Brock Lesnar! You're not even a member of the same species as Brock Lesnar!

== 2019 ==

=== January 29 ===

:'''Becky Lynch''': Look at this. The Man is back on ''Raw''. Ronnie, I told you I'd find a way back to you again. Now, for about a year now, I've been hearing about this &quot;baddest woman on the planet,&quot; but the last time I came to your show, I dropped you right...''[points down to the left]'' there. And even after that, you never came looking for me to prove that you're the baddest. So, Ronnie, I've come looking for you to prove you're not.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' BECKY!
:'''Becky''': And you've heard about this, but last night, I won the Royal Rumble match. And unlike Seth Rollins, I don't need much time to think. I choose you.
:'''Michael Cole''': Oh yeah!
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''Becky''': And at WrestleMania, I am going to break your mystique, I am going to take your title, and I am gonna kick your ass in front of the whole world.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting, as Ronda Rousey motions for a mic]'' KICK HER ASS!
:'''Ronda Rousey''': I want the whole world to hear this. First off, how's your leg? Huh? 'Cause unlike you, I want my opponent to be looking me in the eye and primed to fight. I don't just want to beat you, I want to beat the best version of Becky Lynch that has ever existed.
:And let's just be completely honest, shall we? You, me, and everyone else here knows that I can re-break your face faster than you can say, &quot;Nia Jax.&quot; In fact, you, me, and everyone else here knows that I have the ability to kill you with my bare hands without even breaking a sweat, and the only thing stopping me is my decision not to.
:You know what, Becky? I just realized that we are the same age. That means while you were training, I was main-eventing in a sport that didn't even want women in it at all, let alone in the main event. And last year, while you were in the... the kickoff show for WrestleMania, I stole the show in my debut! How long have you been The Man, Becky? Because I've been a household name for a decade.
:You gotta learn something here, honey. Any ring I step into is mine, I own the ground under my feet, and I'm gonna own you at WrestleMania!
:'''Michael''': Oh, yeah! Can WrestleMania happen tomorrow?!
:'''Corey Graves''': Seriously, I am ready to see these two women throw down on the grandest stage of them all! Let me tell you This will be the best match in wrestlemania

=== February 25 ===

:'''Batista''': ''[drags Ric Flair out of his locker room]'' Hey Hunter, do I have your attention now? ''[takes off sunglasses]'' HUH!?

=== April 8 ===

:'''Sami Zayn''': You know, I... I... I really thought coming out here tonight would cure what ails me. All it did was reinforce what I've realized over the past nine months. It genuinely seems like you miss me. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, I honestly did not miss any of this or any one of you. Yeah, so it turns out WWE is a super, like, toxic environment. ''[Sarcastic laugh]'' It's not because of the McMahons, and it ain't because of the other WWE Superstars, it's because of this audience and your ugliness!
:Let me be honest. I live a very meaningful and fulfilled life; I'm quite happy. But your lives seem so empty and so devoid of any kind of meaning that the only joy you get, it's not even from coming out and enjoying the shows as fans. You only get joy and satisfaction out of being critics. ''[Mocking laugh]'' You wanna know why that is, moron? You wanna know why? It's 'cause it's the only thing that gives you any sort of sense of self-importance. You judge everyone and everything except yourselves. You wanna know why that is? It's 'cause none of you have the balls to look inside yourself 'cause you know the ugliness and the cynicism that lives inside of you. You're so bloody delusional, it's hilarious.
:You really think you guys are, like, the voice of reason? You really think you guys are, like, the ''[mocking] voices that should be heard. Hear me roar!'' No. Seemingly overnight, you have become the evil overlords of WWE. Sami Zayn has been about one thing his entire career and his entire life, and that is doing what is right. And now, the right thing to do isn't to come back and ''[fake heroic] save WWE'', and it's not to come over and take over the WWE. The right thing to do is to come out here every single week and hold each and every single one of you accountable because nobody else will. See you in Hell.

=== May 27 ===

:'''Seth Rollins''': Let me explain something to you. See this right here? ''[Points to the WWE Universal Championship]'' This is my life, Lesnar. Yeah, I see that. Shut your mouth. This is my life, this is what I work for every single day, what I sacrifice for every single day, and you come out here and you make a mockery out of it. And not because you walk out here with your stupid little beat box. No. You make a mockery out of it because you are a joke. Yeah. That's not the joke, you're the joke, and I'm not afraid of you. I stomped your head into the mat at WrestleMania, and I can do it again right here, right now.
:Yeah, you used to be the most feared man in combat sports history, and look at you. You're a coward hiding behind Paul Heyman. The shell of what you used to be. You want a chance to prove me wrong, Lesnar? ''[Points to the Money in the Bank briefcase]'' There's your chance. There's your chance, Lesnar. Cash it in! Cash it in! Cash it in! Cash it in!
:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[referring to the Money in the Bank contract]'' [[w:John Cone|Mr. Cone]], page 8, paragraph 27, section B: &quot;the parties mutually agree that the winner of the 2019 Money in the Bank contract, in his sole discretion&quot;—that's Brock Lesnar—&quot;picks the time and the place to challenge for either the WWE or Universal Heavyweight Championship. The aforementioned challenge shall take place at any time, with no notice, to either champion, on or by the expiration of this agreement, one year after 2019 Money in the Bank pay-per-view event. Therefore, before May 19, 2020, said challenger Brock Lesnar...&quot;
:''[Brock cups the mic, stopping Paul's recitation. He looks at the contract.]''
:'''Brock''': I got a year?
:'''Paul''': Yeah!
:'''Brock''': To cash in.
:'''Paul''': A year! ''[Pissed, Brock smacks Paul with the contract]'' Didn't you know?!
:'''Brock''': No, I didn't know!
:'''Paul''': How could you not know?! You have to make a decision!
:'''Brock''': ''[to Seth]'' I got a whole year! And I gotta make a decision now? Seth Rollins, screw...you.

== 2020 ==

=== May 11 ===

:'''Becky Lynch''': Tonight is... is no ordinary night for me. I'm torn between joy and sadness 'cause I'm... I'm at a place in my life where things are about to change, and I needed to do something about it. So I asked the decision makers to raise the stakes for the Money In The Bank ladder match, and they did just that.
:But before I get to that... I walked in through these very doors in 2013, and I didn't know anybody in this country, and I didn't know if I was good enough to be here. ''[She starts to tear up]'' And I didn't know if anybody would care about a loudmouthed Irish woman who loved puns and toast. But somewhere along the line, I... I learned that they did care, and they cared so much that they put me on their shoulders, and they carried me into history, and I will never forget that.
:Through injury and triumph, it was the fans who stood up for me, who had my back, and it was the fans who I grabbed onto when I didn't have anybody else. And that is why it's the fans, it's you at home that deserve to hear this from me first: that I have to go away for awhile.
:''[Asuka's music hits, and she charges to the ring berating Becky in Japanese]''
:'''Becky''': ''[on the Money In The Bank briefcase sitting on a table in the ring]'' It is yours, you're right. Asuka, you have beaten me when nobody else could. You have been the best wrestler in the world for a long time, and this is why I am so glad that this is happening to you. 'Cause the match last night, it wasn't what you thought it was. It wasn't for an opportunity to win the championship. It was for so much more. And I know you haven't been able to unlock this 'cause there's a combination. ''[She opens the briefcase, revealing the Raw Women's Championship]'' The match last night was actually for the Raw Women's Championship. Now, I can't fight anymore, but you can. You are the champion.
:'''Asuka''': I'm the champion?
:'''Becky''': You're the champion.
:'''Asuka''': I'm the champion!
:''[She takes the title and runs excitedly all over the Performance Center, even dancing on the announcers' table, and makes her way back to the ring]''
:'''Becky''': You are the champion, and as happy as you are to be the champion, I might be a little bit happier. So you go and be a warrior 'cause I'm gonna go be a mother.
:'''Asuka''': ''[genuinely surprised]'' &quot;Be a mother&quot;? You're gonna be a mother? ''[She hugs Becky]'' Oh, congratulations! Really?! YEAH!!! BECKY! BECKY! BECKY! BECKY! I'm so happy for you.

== 2022 ==

=== January 3 ===

:'''Brock Lesnar''': Before we get this party started tonight, I'd like to give a big shout-out to my good buddy Roman Reigns. He's probably sitting at home, more than likely, tuned in to ''Monday Night Raw'', tuned in to the ''new'' WWE Heavyweight Champion, the ''real'' champion, ''BROCK LESNAR!!!'' Get well soon, buddy. Now...South Carolina...acknowledge me.
:''[turns to Paul Heyman]'' I would like to acknowledge my advocate for advocating my free agency, for advocating all the strings you pulled Saturday to make...to help make me the WWE Champion. Paul, thank you.
:'''Paul Heyman''': If you think it's interesting out here, you should see the things that go on behind the scenes in WWE, like when I negotiated for Brock Lesnar to be a free agent—allegedly did that in advance. And then Saturday at Day 1, when Brock Lesnar showed up looking to win a title from a champion, and one champion simply could not make it, but the other champion... the other champion was in a Fatal 4-Way. And what... what's better than a Fatal 4-Way, than a Fatal 5-Way featuring Brock Lesnar! So all the behind-the-scenes machination, and the strings were pulled, and Brock Lesnar gets to enter the Fatal 5-Way.
:And now, what does Brock Lesnar do as ''your'' WWE Heavyweight Champion? Well, he concentrates not only on reigning, but defending. So at the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar will defend the championship against the winner of the originally scheduled Fatal 4-Way, which takes place tonight right here in this very ring. Let's run down the challengers, shall we.
:First, there's Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens, and you have to lump them in together because they are a team. They're a team, and in a match where every man is for himself, these two figured out to be jackals, to be hyenas, to go after the lions of the jungle, because then if they win it together, they have to figure it out. It's up to WWE, and screw management as far as they are concerned. And it's a smart thing for someone who's pretty damn dumb like Seth Rollins. 'Cause Seth Rollins likes to tell everybody that he's a visionary, and he's too stupid to realize that he's not a visionary, 'cause if he had a vision for the future, he'd realize that [[w:Becky Lynch|his wife]] is going to leave him if he doesn't beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title...and he can't! So who's she gonna leave him for? Well, I don't know, but it sure as hell won't be Kevin Owens 'cause Kevin Owens can't beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title either. Maybe the two of them should ask to be traded to ''SmackDown'' 'cause I understand there's a certain &quot;tribal chief&quot; who's a little vulnerable without his special counsel nowadays.
:Oh, don't go &quot;ooh!&quot; It's a historical fact. Want me to prove it to you? One week without me as special counsel, Roman Reigns already has COVID! Yeah, you can get over the Rona, but karma can be really bitchy!
:Speaking of bitchy, let's talk about MVP. Actually, let's ''not'' talk about MVP, since nobody else does anyway. Let's talk, however, about Bobby Lashley. There's a worthy challenger. Brock Lesnar has never met Bobby Lashley, there's a historical fact. Brock Lesnar never ran into Bobby Lashley in the back, they never shook hands, they never say hello to each other. It's like the two were avoiding each other, which I know is not the case 'cause neither one avoids anything or anybody in life. The first time Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar met, Bobby Lashley speared Brock Lesnar through that wall. The second time Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley met, in the very same match 48 hours ago, Brock Lesnar hit an F-5 on everybody in the match with the exception of Bobby Lashley, who speared Brock Lesnar and damn near pinned him. The third time Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar met, in the same match 48 hours ago, Bobby Lashley put Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. And I've said this to Brock Lesnar's face, it didn't look like Brock Lesnar was going to get out. This is all a testament to how damn good Bobby Lashley is. Except, on all three of these occasions, Bobby Lashley was hitting Brock Lesnar from a blind side or behind. So if Bobby Lashley wins tonight, and he faces Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble, he's gonna have to face Brock Lesnar face-to-face, and that is a whole different story. The story between jackin' someone from behind, and just going down in history as the Almighty Brock Lesnar Wannabe.
:There's one more man in the match tonight. He's the odds-on favorite, he's the former champion, and it's Big E. We have nothing bad to say... ''[off a fan's cheer]'' yeah, he deserves your applause. ''That'' is a great champion. Big E did WWE justice. Big E is a credit to World Wrestling Entertainment, to the company, to the audience, to the WWE Universe and the viewers at home, to the people live here tonight, to the lineage of the WWE Title! Big E is all that and more, and he would still be WWE Champion if he didn't have to step into the ring with Brock Lesnar. We have nothing but respect and admiration for Big E. So if Big E wins tonight and he gets the rematch at the Royal Rumble, sir, it will be an absolute honor to witness that match. You're gonna lose, which is no shame, but it would still be an honor to watch you lose to the greatest WWE Champion of all time, the winner of the Fatal 4-Way-- the winner of the Fatal 5-Way, excuse me, and your new REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, BROCK LESNAR!!!

=== April 4 ===

:'''Cody Rhodes''': So, what do you guys want to talk about? It has been 47 days since the abrupt news that I was a free agent. Amongst that, I chose to remain silent, and I heard stories, defamatory whispers, theories that surmised to be nonsense. Everyone thinks the decision to return to WWE was difficult. It was not. It was simple, really. The star that left them in the dust. The man standing here now, having signed a multi-year agreement with World Wrestling Entertainment. And if there was...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YOU DESERVE IT!
:'''Cody''': If there was a glimmer of doubt, a shred of trepidation, the moment I rose up in front of 70-something thousand fans, the moment I made the walk at a WrestleMania and defeated one of the best superstar wrestlers in any era, that being Seth Rollins, that doubt was eradicated. I’m an avid reader, and I stumbled across this quote. It said, [[Jean de La Fontaine|&quot;a man often finds his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it.&quot;]] So, if you’ll humor me, let’s all take a look at the Tron, if you will.
:''[On the TitanTron is a picture of Dusty Rhodes holding high the WWWF Championship. The crowd chants &quot;DUSTY!&quot;]''
:'''Cody''': Right there is my father, &quot;The American Dream&quot; Dusty Rhodes. It’s so simple to say, that’s my father, but in reality, yeah, he's a legend. Yeah, he's the son of a plumber, he's a common man. He’s all those things. To me, he was my hero. This photo was taken in 1977, at Madison Square Garden. That very photo right there, he is holding the championship belt that eventually Hulk Hogan would get his hands on, the Undertaker would get his hands on, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. Oh, and Triple H, too. And many other greats. I'm gonna tell you a quick story which made this all very simple to me. This photo, this very photo, was on the mantle in my parents' bedroom until my dad's last day. And as I got hip to the industry, I worked up a little courage, and I remember I asked him, and I worded it very poorly. I said, &quot;I didn’t know that you were a champion like Hulk Hogan.&quot; And he looked at me with the same eyes that Liberty has, and he said, very stern and very patiently, he explained to me the champion's advantage. He said that he had won the match, but because it was by countout, he did not take home the championship belt.
:So, I'm 8 years old. What’s a boy to do? Right then and there, at 8 years old, I knew not what I wanted to do, what I ''needed'' to do. I was going to win this championship belt right here! I was going to place it, I was going to bestow it into the hands of The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes and tell him, &quot;nobody can take it away from you now.&quot; And there are many here tonight who have followed my journey, but for those who are new to it, unfortunately, that dream died. It died right in front of me. That opportunity passed. That opportunity passed, or did it? Yes, I cannot physically put that title belt into my father's hands. I cannot bestow it upon The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, but I certainly can put it around the waist of The American Nightmare.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' YOU CAN DO IT!
:'''Cody''': With that in mind, the silence is broken, my intentions are clear. I've made them clear to all of you here. I stand before you, ready, finally ready. And I'm going to do it. I'm going to give the distinction that my family has long since been denied, and I'm going to do it for you, I'm going to do it for me, I'm going to do it for my family, and I am going to do it for The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Roman Reigns''': Wise Man, why don't you go ahead and explain the Bloodline's success.
:'''Paul Heyman''': The single longest-reigning tag team champions in the history of ''SmackDown!'', the Usos! The largest box office receipts in the history of SummerSlam; who was in the main event? Roman Reigns! The largest box office receipts in the history of Survivor Series; who was in the main event? Roman Reigns! The first billion-dollar-grossing year in the history of sports entertainment; who was on top as the main star all 365 days of that year?! ''[The crowd starts answering]'' Romain Reigns! The single biggest, largest-grossing box office in the history of the Royal Rumble; who was on top? Roman Reigns. The largest crowds in the history of WrestleMania Weekend, 58% increase on Peacock from last year, and the largest-grossing commerce facilitator in the history of WrestleMania; who was on top? ''[with the crowd]'' Roman Reigns!
:Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the single biggest star in sports entertainment, undisputed Roman Reigns.
:'''Roman''': Wise Man always has this saying, it's, &quot;what's good for Roman Reigns, is good for WWE.&quot; And it's no secret. With me at the head of the table, the billion dollar deals are coming ''easy.'' And that's because I'm the last needle mover. And I'm the last needle mover because I am constantly operating at God Mode. But you see, your Tribal Chief is so much more than all that. I'm a man of my word. I called my shot, and I delivered! I said I was gonna smash Brock Lesnar, and what did I do? Smashed him!
:But you see, that's the past now. Other men, they'd hang their hat on this weekend, but that's not who I am, because we're never content. I'm a progressive Tribal Chief, and I'm constantly moving forward. So this Friday on ''SmackDown'', we're gonna let y'all know what the next step is. But until then, Dallas, Texas...acknowledge me!

==External links==
{{wikipedia|WWE Raw}}

[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:USA shows]]
[[Category:WWE]]
[[Category:American sports TV shows]]
[[Category:Paramount Network shows]]</text>
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      <text bytes="507041" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:WWE Raw|WWE RAW]]''''' (formerly '''''WWF Monday Night Raw''''', '''''WWF RAW Is WAR''''', and '''''WWF War Zone''''') is a wrestling program that has aired on Monday nights since January 11, 1993.

== 1996 ==

===February 19===
:''[after Goldust walks out on Razor Ramon during their Intercontinental Championship match, getting himself counted out but keeping his title]''
:'''Razor Ramon''' ''[taking a microphone]'': Hey yo! Cut the music! ''[his music stops]'' Everybody, listen...to me. Goldust...I don't want your belt. I want...your ass!
:''[the crowd cheers]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Well, we said it was RAW!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What?!
:'''Razor''': You know...I've been hearing so much about...the return, of the &quot;great one&quot;; the legend from the glory days is back. He's our new president, Roddy &quot;Rowdy&quot; Piper.
:'''Jerry''': He's been knocked senseless, McMahon.
:'''Razor''': Well Piper, I heard you say one time...that you got six kids. And that makes you &quot;Hot Rod&quot;. &quot;Well, Razor...Razor, he loves the little kids.&quot; I love the kids, and Piper, you like me, you from the streets - different neighborhoods, same streets. I don't want my kids watching this kind of stuff on TV!
:''[the crowd cheers again]''
:'''Jerry''': What's he saying, McMahon??
:'''Razor''': So Piper, the only thing missing, ''chico''...is make a match! I want Goldust, anywhere, anytime! And Goldust! And Goldust, everybody knows...that you want me! You think I'm sexy? You think I'm hot? You right! So Piper, ooh, Roddy &quot;Rowdy&quot; Piper...okay, big shot, I challenge you, you the, uh...matchmaker...make me a match. Goldust, let's have a date. YEAH!!
:'''Vince''': Razor Ramon, ladies and gentlemen, obviously wants a rematch, with Goldust, and I'm not too sure that he's overly concerned with the title!

===May 27===
:'''Vince McMahon''': Alright, standing by, a very unhappy Ted DiBiase. Mr. DiBiase, you're not very happy at all with the latest turn of events, are you?
:'''[[w:Ted DiBiase|Ted DiBiase]]''': ''[with Stone Cold Steve Austin]'' No, I'm not happy at all, McMahon. To say that Savio Vega's victory last night was a fluke, is an understatement. I mean, the lights were out. Who knows how many times Savio Vega touched the turnbuckles. What I'm saying is, there's no way on his best day Savio Vega defeats Stone Cold Steve Austin...
:'''Vince''': Well, you were counting on Savio being your chauffeur; that did not happen, and Savio Vega was victorious. Now, the rematch has been signed for tomorrow night, and again, it's going to be a Caribbean Strap match, and I would suggest that you still want Savio to...well, that provision, you still want to challenge him, do you?
:'''Ted''': I want to sweeten the pie, McMahon.
:'''Vince''': Sweeten the pie?
:'''Ted''': Savio Vega, you keep that stipulation in there, 'cause you're gonna be my chauffeur. And I'll tell you what. I'm so confident that this man is gonna beat you tomorrow night that I'll put a stipulation in there. If Steve Austin, if Stone Cold Steve Austin doesn't beat you tomorrow night, Savio Vega, the &quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase will forfeit his career! I will leave the World Wrestling Federation! Did you hear me, McMahon?! Did you hear me, Vega?! I will leave the World Wrestling Federation!

=== September 23 ===
:'''[[w:Jim Ross|Jim Ross]]:''' In just a couple of minutes, I'm going to bring Big Daddy Cool, [[w:Kane (wrestler)|Diesel]] and [[w:Rick Bognar|Razor Ramon]] right out here. But before I do, I'd like to beg your indulgence for just a minute and tell you something I got on my mind. There's something I've been wanting to say for a long long time. And when I'm through telling you, many of you are going to question my loyalty to the [[W:World Wrestling Entertainment|World Wrestling Federation]] so let's clear that up right now. I have no loyalty to the World Wrestling Federation, I only got loyalty to good ol' J.R., and let me tell you why. In 1993, I left a great job in Atlanta, Georgia, and I left the [[w:Atlanta Falcons|Atlanta Falcons]] of the [[w:National Football League|National Football League]] to go to the recognized leader of sports entertainment, the WWF. I came here to be the primary play-by-play man in the WWF. I don't think anybody here is going to disagree that I am the best play-by-play man in the whole damn business! So I show up for work the first day at [[w:WrestleMania IX|WrestleMania IX]] in Las Vegas, Nevada, and they give me a sheet to wear. They said, &quot;Oh it's going to be a toga. You'll look good in a toga, J.R.&quot; I leave the National Football League for a toga. It's crap! And then, ladies and gentlemen, I go to the first [[w:King of the Ring (1993)|King of the Ring]] in Dayton, Ohio, and I guarantee you, you listen to that broadcast, I carried the broadcast from ringside. And then did you ever wonder where ol' J.R. went to? Why doesn't ol' J.R. do play-by-play anymore? Let me tell you why. Because the egotistical owner of the World Wrestling Federation—and you know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about Vince McMahon—couldn't stand the competition. So J.R. disappeared. And then on [[w:Super Bowl XXVIII|Super Bowl Sunday of 1994]], I woke up with an affliction called [[w:Bell's Palsy|Bell's Palsy]], and my entire left side of my face looked like it had a stroke. You think I like that? You think I like that my left eye doesn't open all the way because I got sick? Well, let me tell you how warm-hearted Mr. McMahon is. Mr. McMahon called me into his office on February 11th, 1994, and he fired my ass! So I get back in my car and I drive into my home in that overpriced hellhole Connecticut, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to tell my wife and my two little girls that their daddy had just got fired. And so then, remember when McMahon got indicted? They needed somebody to come back and do ''Raw''? They called up J.R. and then they let me go again. So finally they called me back, hired me back for fifty cents on the dollar to come back and work for the front office. Do you think that all these guys leaving the WWF was an accident? Hell no, it's not! You think all these guys coming here was an accident? Absolutely not, I've been very busy. And right now, I want to bring back one of your favorites. He's the Bad Guy, Razor Ramon!

===November 11===
:''[Brian Pillman is being interviewed by Vince McMahon and Kevin Kelly at the Pillman house while Stone Cold Steve Austin is out looking for him]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Notwithstanding the bravado, do you feel like a hostage? Do you feel like a hostage in your own home? 
:'''Brian Pillman''': Hah. Steve is a dead man walking, because when Austin 3:16 meets Pillman ''[draws and slides pistol on camera to everybody's shock]'' nine-millimeter Glock...
:'''Kevin Kelly''': Oh my God, oh my God!
:'''Pillman''': ...I'm gonna blast his sorry ass straight to hell!!

== 1997 ==

=== January 20 ===
:''[Bret Hart comes into the ring at the start of the show]''
:'''[[w:Bret Hart|Bret Hart]]''': There's something I gotta say!
:'''[[w:Jerry Lawler|Lawler]]''': What's he doing out here?
:'''Bret Hart''': There's something I gotta say to you! ''[Points at Vince]'' You know, when I decided to come back to the World Wrestling Federation, you promised me that I would get an opportunity to fight for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. You put me in the ring with [[w:Stone Cold Steve Austin|Stone Cold Steve Austin]] and said that if I could beat Stone Cold Steve Austin, that I would be the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. Now don't you think it's just a little bit convenient that for some stupid reason, [[w:Shawn Michaels|Shawn Michaels]] finds himself out at ringside announcing in my World Championship match with [[w:Sid Eudy|Sycho Sid]]? I don't think it was any kind of a coincidence either. So Shawn Michaels jumps up and sticks his nose in my business and costs me the World Wrestling Federation Championship Belt with blatant interference. The Boy Toy costs me the championship and they go, &quot;Oh that's okay. Don't worry about it, cause now you can go in the [[w:Royal Rumble (1997)|Royal Rumble]] and you only have to fight 29 other guys and then you'll get your opportunity for the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt.&quot; So I went in the ring, and it's very, very clear to me that I won the Royal Rumble and I should be getting a World Wrestling Federation Championship bout. Where is my opportunity? You know, the way I look at things right now, I've been screwed by Shawn Michaels the Boy Toy, I've been screwed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, I've been screwed by the World Wrestling Federation, and I've been screwed by you! (Vince) I don't like to make idle threats, but the way I see things, it doesn't look like I'm going to get my opportunity for a shot at the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. So I quit! (slams the microphone down.)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin''': You gonna get me a piece of equipment that works, son, or do I have to whip your ass? Bret Hart, you can sit there and bellyache and complain with the best of them, son. Ever since you came back, you ain't done nothing but cry! You sit there and talk about how Vince screwed you, how everybody screwed you, how I screwed you. The bottom line is, son, when the going gets tough, the Harts get going back home! Knock it off! Go on back to Canada, son, because the only person you can possibly beat is your wrinkled up old man in his little old basement. You talk about being jerked around, I've been jerked around for seven years, and then I get here. I'm supposed to face Sycho Sid tonight and some guy, a 350-pound buffoon that calls himself Gorilla Monsoon the commissioner says, &quot;No, no. Sycho Sid is at home with a concussion.&quot; Sycho Sid may be at home with a concussion and an ice pack on his head, but he's also got a yellow stripe running right down the middle of his back. As far as Gorilla Monsoon goes, I got a big bunch of bananas and I can tell you where to stick each and every one of them. You want me to face [[w:The Undertaker|The Undertaker]], you can bring his dead ass out here, because I threw him over the top rope last night, and I'll do the exact same thing right now, so bring him out, I got something for him!

=== March 3 ===
:''[Vince is showing footage of the Final Four where Stone Cold Steve Austin inadvertently helped Bret Hart win the WWF Title, and later where he hit Bret with a steel chair, causing Sycho Sid to win the title the next night.]''
:'''Vince''': Your response? Do you show any remorse, whatsoever, for your actions?
:'''Steve Austin''': The only remorse I got is that I didn't hit him harder with that steel chair! Bret Hart runs around talkin' about everybody's screwin' him. Hell, for the past 7 years, I've been screwed, and it's the same old song! How come when Shawn Michaels hurts his knee, you make a video out of him? How come when Shawn Michaels gets sick, you tell the world that he's got the FLU?! Well, when I went to the Final Four, I was sick as a dog, and I had a blown out knee! Let me ask you a question: How many one-legged people can go 25 minutes with 3 of the top wrestlers in the world? NONE! Stone Cold Steve Austin went out there, and did just that! And I ain't making fun of no one-legged people, I'm sittin' here just tryin' to make a point. As far as I'm concerned, I truly am the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and can't nobody tell me different! Not you, or ANYBODY! As far as the Submission Match, it's a buncha bull! Bret Hart, he's supposed to be the big technician, the Sharpshooter. BIG DEAL! I don't know a whole lotta couple of submission moves, but it doesn't matter, because I'll beat the hell outta Bret Hart! And as far as Ken Shamrock says on TV the other day; &quot;Oh, I don't know. Bret Hart's the better technician, but Stone Cold ain't got no quit in him.&quot; Well, you hit the nail right on the head, son, because I ain't got no quit in me at all! And you can bet your bottom dollar that Stone Cold ain't gonna look at the referee and say &quot;I quit! I submit! I've had too much!&quot; There ain't NOBODY... there ain't NOBODY in wrestling who can make me QUIT! And that's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold SAYS SO!
:'''Vince''': Why of all this... why are you so bitter? Why this bitterness?!
:'''Steve Austin''': You treat me like a dog, and you expect me to SMILE? You remind me of a jackass!

=== March 17 ===
:''[Bret Hart has just lost a WWF title cage match with Sycho Sid]''
:'''Jim Ross''': We're back here ladies and gentlemen, a few more moments and Vince McMahon is going talk to a very, obviously a very consumate Bret Hart.
:'''Vince''': Bret Hart, you've got to be terribly frustrated. Extremely frustrated over what has just happened.
:''[Bret shoves Vince down and takes the mike]''
:'''Lawler:''' WHOA!!
:'''Bret Hart:''' FRUSTRATED ISN'T THE GODDAMN WORD FOR IT!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!
:'''Jim Ross:''' We apologize, ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Bret Hart:''' You screwed me, everybody's screwed me and nobody does a goddamn thing about it! Nobody in the building cares, nobody in the dressing room cares, so much goddamn injustice around here, I've had it up to here!!
:'''Jim Ross:''' We apologize ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Bret Hart:''' Everybody knows it! I know it! Everybody knows it! I should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion!
:'''Lawler:''' Get him out of the ring!
:'''Bret Hart:''' Everybody just keeps turning a blind eye! You keep turning a blind eye to it! I got that [[w:Gorilla Monsoon|Gorilla Monsoon]], he turns a blind eye to it! Everybody in that goddamn dressing room knows that I am the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be!
:'''Lawler:''' Cut him off!
:'''Bret Hart:''' And if you don't like it, tough shit!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin:''' Conspiracy my ass Bret! All you want to do anytime you go in the ring is cry like a baby! I tried to go out there and help you and you threw it all away because you're a loser! It could have been you and me for the championship at [[w:WrestleMania 13|WrestleMania]], but you blew the whole damn thing because you're a loser! At WrestleMania, you will quit and one of these days when it's you and me for the title, you're looking at the next champ. AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
:'''Bret Hart:''' (As Austin begins saying &quot;At WrestleMania,...&quot;) You know why they call you Stone Cold? Because your stones are so cold, you won't come out here and step in the ring with me myself! You always got to jump me from behind! You haven't got the guts to come out here! Come on!! Everybody knows whether it's Sycho Sid, ''[Sid comes out]'' If you think for one second that that belt belongs to you, you are wrong! It is my belt. You know it, I know it and everybody in this building knows it!
:'''Sid:''' I don't know shit, crybaby!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[as Bret Hart brawls with Steve Austin and Undertaker brawls with Sid]''
:'''Vince''': Bret Hart has snapped! Bret Hart thought for sure he would be the WWF champion and there's no conspiracy! Bret Hart, ladies and gentlemen is talking about a conspiracy. There is no conspiracy at all, only in his head and it's sad that a man as great as Bret Hart has resorted to this! This is not what we've talked about! This is not the legacy of Bret Hart! Not this! Not this bawling! Not this whining! Not this crying!
:''[officials pull Bret away from Austin]''
:'''Lawler''': You're right! He's snapped McMahon! He's lost it! Get him out of here, drag him out!
:''[Bret nails Pat Patterson and goes back to Austin]''
:'''Vince''': OH HE JUST HIT, HE JUST HIT HALL OF FAMER PAT PATTERSON!! THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SON OF A...!!

=== March 24 ===

:'''Vince''': Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now, yes, from the ultimate fighting war... ''world'', rather, yes, it is war, for sure. There is Ken Shamrock, and Mr. Shamrock, in your officiating last night, firstly, why did you stop the match?
:'''Ken Shamrock''': Well, you know, I was in the match, and Steve Austin was in a great deal of pain even throughout the whole match. I asked him several times; he did not respond. As far as I could see, he was unconscious, I had to stop the match in order to protect his body because he was in severe, severe shape. So that is why I stopped the fight.
:'''Vince''': Alright, but you did not hear him say the words, &quot;I quit,&quot; did you? You did not hear him say the words, &quot;I quit,&quot; did you?
:'''Ken''': No, the words weren't said, &quot;I quit,&quot; but when a man goes unconscious and he cannot protect himself properly, that is why I was hired to do this match: was to make sure one man won. There was no cheating around, there was no holds here. And therefore, when Steve Austin passed out, he could not protect himself. So therefore, that is why I stopped the fight.
:'''Vince''': Alright, but then, as he could not protect himself, &quot;The Hitman&quot; Bret Hart, after the match was officially over, went back and attacked Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Ken''': Yes, he did. And, you know, throughout the match there, there was a lot of dishing out pain going on in there, but one of the things that I guess I had to step in on was because after Stone Cold was on the mat, he was passed out and really could not protect himself, the reason why I stopped the match, Bret Hart decided to take it upon himself to go in there and put more pain upon him. And from what I could see, he was trying to end Stone Cold Steve Austin's career. I had to step in and stop that.
:'''Vince''': Indeed. Well, the Hitman wanted no part of you, no doubt about that. Let me ask you, as far as your opinion of Stone Cold Steve Austin. What is your opinion of him as far as last night' match is concerned?
:'''Ken''': Well, you know, particularly... me and Steve Austin have had some harsh words in the past. I particularly really don't care for him much. But there's one thing you cannot take from this man. Let me tell you, he went through a lot of pain, and there was no quit in that man. He kept fighting and fighting. You got to give him that, he is one tough character. I've seen a lot of tough people going through my life, going through the no holds barred competitions, and this guy is by far one of the toughest guys that I've seen.
:'''Vince''': All right, thank you very much for joining us.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bret Hart''': First of all, I wanna apologize. I'd like to apologize to all my fans over in Germany. I'd like to apologize to all my fans over in Great Britain. Actually, I like to apologize to all my fans all over Europe. All over Japan and the far east. I like to apologize to my fans in the middle east. All the way as far down as South Africa. And I especially like to apologize for all my great fans in Canada.

:And to you, my great fans across the United States of America...to you, I apologize for nothing! You know, it seems real strange to me that no matter how much I try that when I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin to a bloody pulp, I thought to myself, no matter how much I win, when I walked back to the dressing room. The way you American fans treat me across the United States of America, I feel like I lost. I mean I took a gutless creep like Stone Cold Steve Austin and beat him to a bloody pulp, even though he knows, and you all know that he lost, you cheer him on the way back to the dressing room like he won!

:You know it didn't just start right here. Let's go back to WrestleMania last year when I was the World Wrestling Federation Champion. When that belt was around my waist and where it belonged. You cheered on a pretty boy like Shawn Michaels and you allowed him to screw me out of the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt. I found myself sitting at home watching the WWF on TV in Canada and saying to myself, &quot;The World Wrestling Federation needs a hero, they need a role model. They need someone to look up to.&quot; Not somebody who has earrings all over himself and tattoos. Not somebody who poses for girly magazines. By the way, I don't think it was a girly magazine, I think it was a gay magazine! So I felt this calling to come back to set the record straight and clean up the World Wrestling Federation. So I came back in the Survivor Series and I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin there and I think I garnered a little bit of respect. Then I found myself stepping in the ring with Sycho Sid and your hero, your pride and joy Shawn Michaels costs me the World Wrestling Federation championship belt. Nobody cared! Nobody did anything about it! You people didn't do anything about it.

:They say &quot;Oh, don't worry about that. You can get in line with 29 other guys and you can go in the Royal Rumble.&quot; So being the man that I am, I got no problem fighting 29 other guys. So I went in the Royal Rumble, and I won. I was the last legal man standing in the Royal Rumble. But again, everyone just turns their back on it. You somehow justify in your minds that Stone Cold Steve Austin won. You know, a better man would've quit. Maybe I should have quit and gone home.
:'''Vince''': You did Bret, that's what you threatened.
:'''Bret Hart''': I got Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon on their hands and knees begging me to come back. &quot;Don't quit! Think of your fans.&quot; Well, I thought of my fans and I came back. And they come up with this idea for the Final Four. The winner of the Final Four will get a World Wrestling Federation title fight at WrestleMania 13. That sounds good to me. So I accept, I came back. Then all of a sudden, your champion, your hero, Shawn Michaels comes up with this life ending, career ending knee injury and he forfeits the title so he can go home and find his smile. But that's okay, you people think that that's just fine. I see people in the audience crying for that. You talk about me crying. So I go into the Final Four with the outcome now being that whoever wins the Final Four will now be the World Wrestling Federation Champion. And who won the Final Four? I did. Right in the middle of the ring, I defeated three other guys in one night. I defeated Vader, I defeated Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I defeated the Undertaker, and I became the World Wrestling Federation Champion for a fourth time. Then they come up to me and go &quot;Well wait a minute! You don't get to rest even though you fought three other guys, even though you're beat up and sore. You got to go in the ring and fight 6'9&quot; Sycho Sid, and defend the title.&quot; Do you think I ran and hid? Do you think and found me forfeiting any titles? NO! I put the title on the line and I took Sycho Sid and I tied him in a big knot right in the middle of the ring. There he was in the Sharpshooter after being booed all the way through the match by my American wrestling fans, you somehow justify, only in America you can do this, Stone Cold Steve Austin climbs into the ring and whacks me in the back of the head with a chair. Somehow, you justify that that's okay, that's acceptable in America.

:So I ask, or as you see it, I cried to Gorilla Monsoon. I asked and I begged and I pleaded and I said &quot;Give me Stone Cold Steve Austin. Give me a match with this guy who seems to be making my life a miserable hell.&quot; So I got Stone Cold Steve Austin and they agree to a match, a submission match. And then they go, &quot;Wait, we have some even better news for you. We will give you Sycho Sid in a 15-foot high steel cage match and no one will be able to interfere in that and you will have your shot at the World Wrestling Federation championship belt because we respect you.&quot; Well in that match, outside interference played a big factor again and somehow for some reason, The Undertaker is out there and he finds himself slamming my head in the door and he costs me the World Wrestling Federation Championship belt for the 5th time.

:So I got one thing on my mind. After being screwed over by everybody in the World Wrestling Federation, after being abandoned by all you good fans right here in the United States of America, I decide that I'm going to go into this submission match with Stone Cold Steve Austin and give him every bit of what he deserves, just a good old fashioned ass whipping. And so when I do it, when I actually take that lousy stinking hyena Stone Cold Steve Austin and beat him to a bloody pulp, you somehow find it in your hearts to abandon me and cheer for him.

:You know, I've proven myself so many times in the World Wrestling Federation and I've tried to be everything that you wanted me to be that it seems to me that you don't understand. You don't understand what it means to have dignity, to have poise, to bring prestige to the World Wrestling Federation, to be a man that brings a little class. Because you rather cheer for heroes like Charles Manson and O.J Simpson. Nobody glorifies criminal conduct like the Americans do and all the countries around the world, they still respect what's right and what's wrong. Respect. Now that we made everything real clear with ourselves tonight, it's obvious to me that all you wrestling fans coast to coast, you don't respect me. Well the fact is, I don't respect you. You don't deserve it. So from here on in, the American wrestling fans coast to coast can KISS MY ASS!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Shawn Michaels comes out to the ring]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Yo, Hitman! Let's get one thing perfectly straight. You can come out here and say whatever you want about me. Everyone does. And you don't have to explain to me or the World Wrestling Federation that you would never give up the WWF title because no one knows better than me or the WWF that it takes a hand written note from the lord almighty to take that belt from you. But Bret, what you don't understand is just because I come out here and choose to live my life openly and freely instead of putting a facade like you does not make a you a better man Bret. I am well aware of my faults. I can admit them up and down the line. And as far as Steve Austin is concerned, Bret, I was there last night. He didn't give up, alright? Now I'm no fan of Steve Austin but he passed out and even you have to admit somewhere in there, there's gotta be some of the old Hit Man left, even you have to admit that he is one tough S.O.B. Now Bret, I have tried and tried and tried to take the high road and I am in no shape to wrestle and I know, you're tougher than me blahblahblah, whole thing. I admit that, that's fine. I don't have to be number one Bret. I don't obsess like you do. I do it because I like it. You do this because in your mind, marked man, you really think that all of this is yours! Now what you need to understand is that every time they reach into their pocket to watch you, me or anybody else is that they have the right to cheer or boo anybody that they want! Now, hey, you don't have to tell me &quot;They're cheering me now.&quot; But they've booed me before. But you didn't see me getting all bent out of shape about it. You wanna know why Bret? It's because in this country, we something that's called the first amendment. And that amendment allows us to live our lives as we sit fit as long as it's causing harm to no one. If that guy there wants to stick a belly button piercing through his navel he can do it whether you like it or not! If that girl over there chooses to go out with someone you don't you approve of, &quot;Tough kitty&quot; said the kittie if she's going to do it! Now I'm going to get on my high and mighty roller coaster Bret. But you my friend, you gotta look at this, I'm in no shape to go. But if you want to go? What the hell? Let's go now.
:'''Vince''': Don't tell me. Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in no condition to wrestle here.
:'''Lawler''': Then what's he doing out there.
:'''Vince''': Because he's got more guts than brains.
:'''Lawler''': Right.
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Do you know something? We've got a saying in the United States in American and it's called &quot;America, Love it or Leave it!&quot;
:'''Bret Hart''': Shawn Michaels, Boy Toy, I think you should go back to the dressing room, get the hell out of my face.
:'''Shawn Michaels''': You know me, Bret, I'm not real good with authority. By the way, how did you know I was in that girly magazine? You couldn't help yourself, could you? You had to flip through the pages just a little bit!
:''[Bret attacks Shawn in the injured knee and puts him in the figure four around the ring post.]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Bret comes back out to do commentary during the Rocky Maivia/Leif Cassidy match-up]''
:'''Vince''': What has made you snap, Bret Hart?
:'''Bret Hart''': I haven't snapped, I just opened my eyes.
:'''Vince''': What?!
:'''Bret Hart''': I call it opening my eyes! Why don't you open yours? Everybody in this building, they sit here and they cheer on Stone Cold Steve Austin, all these guys that set no example for anybody anywhere. And they have the nerve to actually cheer these guys on? Undertaker, there's a great role model. You know, I've had it up to here; I think people should open their eyes. I was the guy going to the ring every night wearing a white hat, trying to be a good person. Trying to be someone they could look up to.
:'''Vince''': ''[As Shawn Michaels is shown being carried to an ambulance.]'' There's a good person. Look what you just did, Shawn Michaels.
:'''Bret Hart''': Hey, I didn't ask him to come to the ring! I was trying to make a point and that is the point right there. Look at the screen, that is the point. I've had it up to here! Understand? Very simple.
:'''Vince''': I think we do. But again, I don't understand the logic. I don't understand why you're throwing away your legacy! You're throwing it away! You're flushing your legacy down the toilet, Bret!
:'''Bret Hart''': I didn't flush any legacy down any toilet. My toilet was flushed by all these people right here in this building. Not just in this building, but every building that I've wrestled in in the last three or four months. The only place I went to where I got a little respect was in Germany or England. Everywhere else-- or Canada. But in the United States of America, little kids holding up signs going &quot;You suck!&quot; You know what? I don't suck, they do!
:'''Vince''': It's almost as if you're at war with yourself.
:'''Bret Hart''': No, I'm not at war. Hey I feel like I got a million pounds off my chest. You want to see bad? I'll show you bad. Bad is something that you have never seen the likes of. You want to talk about wickedly bad? I'll show you wickedly bad! ''[runs into the ring and attacks Rocky Maivia]''

===June 30===
:'''Paul Bearer''': &quot;Well, we're gonna have to go back a few years, Mr. McMahon. About 20 years to be exact. We're talking about a little funeral home, sitting up on a hill – beautiful old trees all around – and a wonderful, wonderful family-owned funeral home. The family lived upstairs. The father was a mortician who ran the funeral home. The mother was the secretary, the receptionist. But there were two little kids there. One kid was a little red headed punk. And then there was a second kid – a sweet little kid named Kane. Now I was the apprentice at the funeral home. I worked under the red headed punk's father, who by now you properly know as The Undertaker. The Undertaker's father was a mortician of excellence. He told me everything I know. He told me the correct way to prepare a body for burial, how to do the make-up, how to deal with the families. He told me from A to Z. But while I was working on the funeral home, I've seen a lot of things going on, that shouldn't been happening.

:This little red-headed punk, there was nothing funny about him. He had a look in his eye – the look of the devil! It was the devil's see if you know what I mean. What was so sad about the whole situation, is that poor little Kane, the little brother followed The Undertaker around everywhere he went. The Undertaker was little Kane's hero. Anything The Undertaker did was fine. It went on for about two years, my apprenticeship. I was at the college that night taking courses at Mortuary Science at the same time. The Undertaker and Kane would run around the funeral home like wild men. They had three reigning properties. They'd sneak out behind the garage. I'd see what they were doing. Their mom and daddy wouldn't see what they were doing but I saw what they were doing. I saw them, taking chemicals out of the embalming room in that funeral home. I saw them sneaking behind the garage, smoking cigarettes - when they were little kids.

:But you know, one particular afternoon I was leaving to go to school. As I backed my car out of the funeral home, I looked behind and who do I see? That red head devil-seen Undertaker with his little brother. Something wasn't funny – it ain't. Something didn't seem right. But I went ahead and to the drive way, went to school. I came back from school about ten o'clock that night. And what do I see? I see fire trucks. I see ambulance. I see steam and smoke and I see that funeral home in ashes. Someone burnt down the funeral home. Inside that funeral home was this lovely family that took care of me. I looked over to the bushes. Who did I see in the bushes but The Undertaker? Undertaker, you burnt the funeral home to the ground. And along with the funeral home, you killed your parents. You killed your family, Undertaker! I know it. I've had to stick that on my inside all my life – 20 years. You've killed them. Undertaker, you are a MURDERER! YOU ARE A MURDERER! YOU'RE A GOD-DAMN MURDERER!

=== July 7 ===
:'''Bret Hart''': A few weeks ago, I was told ‘America: love it or leave it.’ Well, I’ve traveled all around the world, I’ve been all over the United States of America, and the one thing that I’ve in particular looked forward to is loving leaving it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Stone Cold Steve Austin defeats Hunter Hearst Helmsley thanks to interference from Mankind, whom Helmsley hit in the head with a steel chair. Austin grabs a microphone]''
:'''Jim Ross''': This could be damning.
:'''Vince McMahon''': I hope he doesn’t say anything to the Canadians.
:'''Steve Austin''': Get your ass up, you long-haired freak!
:'''McMahon''': He’s talking - he’s talking to, to Mankind.
:'''Austin''': There ain’t no way one chair can keep your ass down, get in the ring! ''[Mankind crawls into the ring]'' You come out here every week, saying “Pick me, Steve! Pick me, Steve!”. I’ll lay it on the line for you, you piece of trash: I don’t like you one bit! But I’ll damn sure go to war with you, if that’s what you want. All you gotta do is shake my hand, and we’re a tag team.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Whoa!
:'''Ross''': Well, I guess the man with the personality of a rattlesnake is softening a little bit.
:'''Lawler''': Finally Mankind gets what he wants!
:'''Ross''': All Mankind ever wanted was to be accepted.
:''[Mankind outstretches his arms]''
:'''Lawler''': He don’t want a handshake, he wants a hug!
:''[Mankind and Austin share a big hug]''
:'''McMahon''': I can’t believe it. Another moment in the WWF. Mankind, now a partner - ''[suddenly Austin gives Mankind the Stone Cold Stunner]'' - oh!
:'''Ross''': No! No! Not the Stunner! Damn him!
:'''Austin''': DTA, you stupid piece of trash! Don’t ever trust nobody! You ain’t gonna be my partner, never, ‘cause you’re a long-haired freak, and you suck! ''[drops the microphone and raises his arms for the crowd]''
:'''McMahon''': My! Can’t believe that!
:''[Austin leaves the ring and walks up the ramp to the cheers of the crowd]''
:'''Ross''': Well, if you’d like to have a pet rattlesnake, I’ll give you Austin’s phone number!
:'''McMahon''': Thank you, no. This capacity crowd-
:'''Mankind''' ''[grabbing the microphone]'': Austin! Austin!! I was just looking for a little bit of respect. I was looking for a friend, and you’ve ruined that all!!
:'''Austin''' ''[from the top of the entrance ramp, grinning]'': Damn right!
:'''Mankind''': So it’s become very apparent, that drastic measures will be taken! Because, next week, well, I’m going to have to do something I never thought I’d do again. ''[Austin leaves]'' And it will become very obvious that the World Wrestling Federation will never be the same! Steve Austin, ''you'' will never be the same! And without a doubt next week, Mankind...will NEVER BE THE SAME!!! ''[whimpers]''

=== August 4 ===

:'''Vince''': Well, I guess maybe that pretty much tells you something - a mixed reaction by this capacity crowd. And there is no doubt whether you did your job or you didn't do your job, but if it haven't had been for you, the Undertaker might still be the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
:'''Shawn''': So let me get this straight. You, the Undertaker, Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart and — the best that I can tell — all of the fans of the World Wrestling Federation are dumpin' this in my lap!
:'''Vince''': I don't know if that's necessarily fair...
:'''Shawn''': Shut up! Because you know something? It's just like you, it's just like Bret Hart and whether anybody in this arena likes it or not, it's just like all the fans of the World Wrestling Federation to not take responsibility for themselves and pass the buck on to the Heartbreak Kid because everybody knows I don't give a damn what anybody thinks of me! Shut up!
:I went out there last night, for the first time in my career put on a referee's shirt and did one hell of a job. I called it down the middle. Right or wrong?
:'''Vince''': Yes, you did.
:'''Shawn''': Exactly.
:'''Vince''': May I ask you a pertinent question, please?
:'''Shawn''': Yeah, cough it up!
:'''Vince''': Alright, it's on a lot of people's minds. It's something like this — it's controversial as it always is: Are you in any way in cahoots with Bret Hart? As preposterous as that may sound, a lot of people are wondering that.
:'''Shawn''': You know, I've always known you are a nimrod, but now you have convinced me that you are the dumbest sonofabitch I've ever met in my life.
:'''Vince''': Well, first of all, I don't appreciate that. Let's get that straight, okay?
:'''Shawn''': Ooohh, shoot me while I shudder in my loafers, McMahon!
:'''Vince''': Well you just might be shuddering come September 7, when you step into this ring with the Undertaker. That's when you gonna be shuddering! You can take this here.
:'''Shawn''': Get your ass out of here! ''[Vince leaves]'' You can move it or lose it, McMahon! Let me tell everybody what the story is. I am not in any way, shape or form in cahoots with Bret Hart. It is no secret that Bret Hart doesn't like me, Bret Hart doesn't respect me, but one thing is for damn sure, Bret Hart needs me! Because I am the only man in the World Wrestling Federation that has beat his ass! And that is the truth!
:And Undertaker... Undertaker, you and I, for as long as we've been in the World Wrestling Federation have never crossed paths. EXCEPT FOR NOW!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' Michaels sucks!
:'''Shawn''': Oh, I'm gonna tell you people something. Undertaker, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels lays down for absolutely no one! I don't do it for Bret Hart, I don't do it for you, I don't do it for the fans of the World Wrestling Federation, I don't do it for anybody. Undertaker, the next time you see Shawn Michaels, his Super...
:'''Crowd''': You suck!
:'''Shawn''': Ten years! Ten years I've given you, and this is the respect that you give me. Each and everyone of you can go to hell! Undertaker, the next time you'll see me, my Superkick is gonna be one foot down your throat!

=== August 18 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Steve, I want to thank you for allowing us to come to your hotel room here, I know you've got a very busy and a very crucial 24-hour period here in Philadelphia, seeing a specialist tomorrow about your neck, but thanks for giving us a little of your time.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well you're welcome for the time, but if you're here to ask a bunch of questions, you might as well start asking, otherwise I'll throw your ass out the window. And to come to the hotel room, this ain't a hotel room that I would stay at! You know, when I got hurt at SummerSlam, when I got dumped on my head, no one called me and said, &quot;Hey, Steve, you okay?&quot; No one ever sent a card, nothin' like that. Not that I would expect it, but at least I would have, you know, maybe a call just to see what the hell's goin' on with the hottest damn wrestler in the world, but I got nothin'! So the WWF sees fit to put me in a room like this, with all this fruit and trash like this, you want a pear? ''[Starts tossing fruit at Jim Ross]'' You want an apple? You want a banana  or somethin'? Here, make yourself at home, man! ''[Austin tosses the entire fruit basket at Ross]'' But if you got questions to ask, you go ahead and ask 'em, 'cause I'm gettin' a little tired of you!
:'''Jim Ross''': I'd like you to address three things, if you don't mind.
:'''Steve Austin''': Sure.
:'''Jim Ross''': One is SummerSlam, your paralysis after being driven in the mat from the Tombstone by Owen Hart; the second thing is what the doctors have told you; and thirdly, and lastly, what you perceive your future to be here in the WWF.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well, let's start with SummerSlam. The bottom line is I'm the Intercontinental Champion. Right?
:'''Jim Ross''': Right.
:'''Steve Austin''': Well, that's that. But aside from that, at the end of the match, close to the end of the match when Owen Hart dumped me on my head - you figure I weight 245, 250, bam, you get planted in the mat, shit happens! And that's, for basically about 50 seconds there, I couldn't move my arms or my legs, and I didn't know if I ever would move again! It felt pretty damn scary, so, um, you know, I'm through with that, looking past that, I've watched that on tape probably 30 or 40 times and it still sucks every time I see it! But I'm over it, and I'm movin' around, and I'm happy about that! But Owen Hart has got hell to pay! You get dumped on your head, you get in the position that I was put in, it ain't worth a damn. And I, I'm just, uh, a little bit pissed off No, I'm not a little pissed off, I'm a whole lot pissed off, but you know what they say, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. But Owen Hart's got hell to pay when I come back, and as you say, you've got another question, what was the other question?
:'''Jim Ross''': The doctors, you've seen several doctors...
:'''Steve Austin''': I've seen a couple of doctors, and one guy said, uh, uh, &quot;Maybe you should do something else.&quot; Well, Steve Austin doesn't do anything else, what I do is wrestle, and I'm the best wrestler in the world, and can't nobody tell me different! So I'm supposed to see the top guy, uh, the top spine guy in the country tomorrow here in Philadelphia, and see what he has to say, and it doesn't matter really what he says, the end result, the decision's mine! He can sit there and say, &quot;Don't do this, try not to do this,&quot; whatever, but the bottom line is I'm the one that makes the decision, so I'll sit there, rethink things, and go from there. But regardless of what he says, Owen Hart's got hell to pay! You know, when you do something to...when you do what he did to me, you know, if it's my last step in life, you can damn well bet he's gonna get the shit kicked out of him one way or the other, and that's it. You know, I don't know when, where or how, or what, but it's gonna happen.
:As far as my future - don't sit there and try to butt in because I'm talkin', right? Okay, as far as my future goes, hell, like I said, I'll listen to what the doctor says, but I'm gonna do what I want. The future for Steve Austin, as far as I'm concerned, is to put on his black trunks and black boots and show up. Im'ma take a few days off, I'll probably take a few weeks off, because, you know, when you're sittin' there at the house, you watch a film of, uh, you gettin' paralyzed for another 50 seconds, you watch that 30 or 40 times, you know, it kinda, you get a little depressed! So I drank a few cases of beer, I'll tell you exactly what I did. I just ride around in my Ford, drink a few beers and sit there and think about it. But, uh, I'm gonna go see this doctor and see what he has to say, and, but as far as I'm concerned, the only way I can see my future is to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, continue on right through the top in the WWF, just like I've done since I've been here! All the damn bureaucratic red tape, all the bullshit I've been through, it's taken me eight years to get where I'm at right now! If you think for one split second that a piledriver's gonna stop me, it ain't gonna happen. Did it slow me down? Damn right, but it ain't gonna stop me. Ground Zero, Sub-Zero, whatever the hell you wanna call it, Louisville, I'll be there! Whether it's to hand the belt over, if I decide maybe it's time to hang it up, I'll do that! I don't think that's gonna happen. I think when, uh, Ground Zero rolls around, you'll see Stone Cold - don't wipe your nose, it pisses me off - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin - and don't smile - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin in a black pair of trunks and a black pair of boots, and I'll be out there whippin' somebody's ass! I don't know what kind of match it is, it's some kind of little, uh, four tag teams of some kind of shit like that, is that right?
:'''Jim Ross''': That's right.
:'''Steve Austin''': Okay, well, I'll be there! And... what gets me is, is that Steve Austin's in a new level now, because, you know, if,if I was pissed off before, I'm a lot more pissed off now, and that makes me even more dangerous, not a liability, and that's the bottom line! You got anything else you wanna say?
:'''Jim Ross''': No sir.
:'''Steve Austin''': Then get the hell out.

=== September 22 ===

:''[Before the police arrest Austin, Vince comes into the ring]''
:'''Vince''': What’s the matter with you?! Get ahold of yourself! 
:'''Lawler''': Arrest him!
:'''Vince''': ''[To the police]'' Just give me a minute. Just give me a minute! ''[To Austin]'' What is the matter with you? You had to forfeit the Intercontinental title, the Tag Team title, of course everybody can understand why you’re upset. I can understand you being upset not being able to compete, I can understand that. But don’t break the law!
:'''Lawler''': He already did...look at this!
:'''Jim Ross''': Stone Cold's not gonna win this fight with New York City's finest.
:'''Vince''': Don't you understand? Don’t you understand why you’re not allowed to compete? Can’t you get that through your head? Don’t you know why? Don’t you know that you’re not physically able to compete? Your doctors say you’re not ready. If you compete, you could injure yourself for good! You could wind up paralyzed! And the WWF is not gonna stand by and let you do that to yourself. These people don’t want you to wind up in a wheelchair! They wanna see you compete. Everybody wants to see you compete. But in due time, Steve. In due time. ''[Austin looks at his watch]''
:'''Lawler''': Listen to McMahon, get the violins.
:'''Vince''': Get ahold of yourself.
:'''Jim Ross''': He's telling the truth. Makes all the sense in the world.
:'''Lawler''': ''[indicating the cops]'' He'd better be talking to those guys over there. I say put him in the slammer!
:'''Vince''': Listen, don’t you know people care? In the World Wrestling Federation, we care. They care, they care about you, that’s all it is. And you just gotta go with it. In other words, you simply, you gotta work within the system. That’s all you gotta do, is just work within the system.
:'''Steve Austin''': You know as well as I do that this is what I do for a livin’. This is all that I do, and can’t nobody tell I ain’t the best in the damn world. Don’t even say nothin’. Don’t say nothin’. You sit here and tell me to work within the system. You ain’t the one sittin’ on your ass in the house like I am. But if that’s what it takes to make you or the World Wrestling Federation happy, hell, I feel like Cool Hand Luke. I’ll work within your stupid little system.
:'''Vince''': That's all that these people a—
:'''Steve Austin''': I appreciate the fact that you and the World Wrestling Federation ''care''. And I also appreciate the fact...that, hell, ''you can kiss my ass''!
:''[Austin kicks McMahon in the gut and Stuns him]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh, God! Oh my God!
:'''Lawler''': Put him in jail! Put him in jail right now!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Triple H is waiting for his match with Dude Love, but the Dude appears on the TitanTron]''
:'''Dude Love''': Oh, ho ho ho ho! Owww, have mercy! Hunter and especially your finer Chyna, I know what you must be thinking. 'Dude, what are you doing back here, when you should be out there kicking some heavy duty booty all over The Garden?' Hunter, my man, I do believe it's time we had a little rap, ho-ho. Because you see, Falls Count Anywhere— Well, that not exactly my bag, baby. The pinfalls in the hot dog stands, the pinfalls in the street, the chairs, the tables, it's not exactly a Love thing. But I know somebody, daddy, who's bag it indeed is. He's my man, he's my main man, you might even say, well daddy, he's a ''kind'' man. A kooky type of cat, let's bring him out right now. 
:''[Mankind's music plays as Mankind walks into the picture]''   
:'''Dude Love''': Ho ho, Mankind, my main mandible— up high big man, down low— Owww, you're too slow, ho ho. Mankind, good to have you at the Love Shack. 
:'''Mankind''': Hi, Dude. Thanks for having me here. 
:'''Dude Love''': The pleasure's all mine. 
:'''Mankind''': You really are eye candy for the chicks, Dude. 
:'''Dude Love''': That much I know, Daddy, but you gotta tell me about this wacky match: Falls Count Anywhere. 
:'''Mankind''': Dude, as much as I've dreamed about destroying Hunter Hearst Helmsley... 
:'''Dude Love''': I know you have. 
:'''Mankind''': ...as many horrible things as I'd like to do to him...
:'''Dude Love''': I know you can. 
:'''Mankind''': I know someone who dreams about it even more.
:'''Dude Love''': Who is it, Manny?
:'''Mankind''': Someone who's willing to do even worse things than I have.
:'''Dude Love''': Oh no, are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 
:'''Mankind''': I think I ''am'' thinking what you think I think you're thinking. 
:'''Dude Love''': Can you bring him out, Manny?
:'''Mankind''': Here he comes.
:'''Dude Love''': Where is he? 
:'''Mankind''': '''''CACTUS JACK... IS BACK!'''''
:''[Cactus Jack walks into the picture carrying a trash can, HHH loses it]''  
:'''Dude Love''': Somebody spank me, I thought he was dead! 
:'''Mankind''': He's alive. HE'S ALIVE!
:'''Cactus Jack''': Don't blink. It may be the darkest day of your life, because it's Madison Square Garden, and Mrs. Foley's little boy...is finally home. BANG BANG! 
:'''Dude Love''': ''[overlappping]'' Bye bye, Hunter, have fun! Owww, have mercy!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What in the world!?
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[overlapping]'' Oh my God. Drastic times call for drastic measures!
:''[A garbage bin is thrown from off-curtain, followed by a large broom before Cactus Jack enters with a trash can]''
:'''Jim Ross''': And for a man, that has wrestled on nails, and barbed wire and set himself on fire, this will be a day at Central Park!

=== October 6 ===
:''[Paul Bearer is at the ring with Kane, who just trashed the Hardy Boyz]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Now that I have your undivided attention— Yes, laugh at the fat man. Go ahead! Here's your chance. Go ahead and laugh at me. Stand up, call me names, do what you wanna do. Here's your chance. The one you should be laughing at is your so-called phenom. The one you should be laughing at is your hero, The Undertaker. The proof is here. I tried to go back to The Undertaker, he wouldn't take me back. I had to do what I had to do. He slapped me around, he called me a liar. He burned me! Burned!

:Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you, The Undertaker's little brother: Kane! Look close, Undertaker. The whole world saw your face last night, when you stood for the first time in twenty years face-to-face with your own brother. We can all tell by the look in your eyes that you knew it was him. Yes, oh yes, he's alive. Look at his eye, Undertaker. He's missing an eye. And it's your fault! The 20 years of suffering, the 20 years of hiding-out is now over. And we have you to thank, Undertaker.

:Undertaker, this is your Stop sign on your highway to eternity. Starting with these boys tonight, we are gonna walk through the World Wrestling Federation, take each one, each wrestler, one by one and destroy them. Until we reach you! You, Undertaker. That is why Kane is here. And we have you to thank. Every time you look around, you're going to see your brother behind you. Every time you close your eyes to go to sleep, you're going to remember that terrible night. The fire! Oh yes, the fire. Undertaker, welcome to your worst nightmare.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shawn''': ''[waiting for footage from Badd Blood]'' Now I know we don't have any brain surgeons in that truck, but this is a television studio per se. Do you think, Vince McMahon, you could get one of those idiots in your truck to send out my performance at Badd Blood? ''[Footage appears on TitanTron...]'' All right, here we go... ''[...not of Badd Blood, but of the [[w:The Kliq#The MSG &quot;Curtain Call&quot;|MSG &quot;Curtain Call.&quot;]]]'' Whoa. Wait a minute!
:'''[[w:Triple H|Hunter Hearst-Helmsley]]''': ''[both feigning shock]'' Oh my God, what is that?
:'''Shawn''': That's not Badd Blood, that's...
:'''Hunter''': That's Madison Square Garden!
:'''Shawn''': That's May 19th, Madison Square Garden!
:'''Hunter''': That's you, Shawn!
:'''Shawn''': And that's...that's...that's [[w:Scott Hall|Razor]]!
:'''Hunter''': And [[w:Kevin Nash|Big Daddy Cool Diesel]]!
:'''Shawn''': But who's that...that's you, Triple H! Wait a minute! Hey, you were a bad guy, I was a good guy!
:'''Vince''': What is this?
:'''Hunter''': You were a good guy, I was a bad guy!
:'''Shawn''': What were you doing in there? That's...wait a minute! Wait a minute...that was supposed to be Vince McMahon's biggest day—the first time Madison Square Garden had been sold...aw, it's off the screen. Oh, Vin-man, what's the matter? That subject's still a little too sensitive for you, big man. ''[Both get out of ring and approach Vince at announcers' desk]'' Vinnie Mac, what's the matter? Come on, what's the matter? Is your dad rolling over in his grave? The family traditions in the McMahon...has it come to an end because me and my buddies made an ass out of ya? Come on, you were an ass long before I made one out of ya!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Cornette''': This is Jim Cornette, and the views that I'm about to express are not necessarily those of anybody else but me. But they oughta be. And as a matter of fact, they probably are.
:You know, a lot of things in the wrestling world make me cranky these days, especially the way some talent is treated and some talent is looked at by not only the promoters, but the wrestling fans as well. For example, a man like Arn Anderson who just had to retire from this sport, after giving it his entire life, because of an injury that he suffered; a guy like &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, who in my opinion, is one of the greatest talents in the history of this business; guys like Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, whatever you want to call him. Great talents in the WWF or WCW.
:But who gets a lot of the attention, from the wrestling fans especially? Guys like the NWO, the New World Order. You know, all the fans think these guys are so cool and so ''sweeeeet'', and so funny. Well, as far as I'm concerned, the NWO is like a bunch of guys meeting out in the backyard in a clubhouse in a tree. They're guys who, all they have to do... They got the easiest job in the world... All they have to do is go out there and be themselves—childish, obnoxious, adolescent guys with a case of severe arrested emotional development, and a fixation on trying to act macho.
:You got a guy like Kevin Nash, 40 years old, trying to act like a teenager. Far as I'm concerned, the biggest no-talent in the business. He's got six moves, no mobility, and enough timing to cover up for some of it. But what he does is he goes around and he manipulates. Kevin Nash had a multi-million dollar promotional company, the WWF, push him to the moon to make him a star, and then what does he do? He leaves—after he gives his word he's staying, so by the way, he's a liar, too—he leaves and he goes to WCW for a big contract. Why? More on that later.
:You got a guy like Scott Hall, who's a good wrestler, but &quot;good&quot; is about it. He's the best of the bunch. But he had the same million dollar promotional company make him a star, after he'd been in the business 10 years without putting three asses in a seat. And what does he do? He goes to WCW for a big contract. Why? More on that later.
:And then you got a guy... Syxx, 1-2-3 Kid, his name's Sean Waltman. Whatever you want to call him. As far as I'm concerned, the only reason that he's employed is because the other guys think that he's funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself. He has the distinction, in case you haven't noticed, of being the only guy since this &quot;wrestling war&quot; got started, that was released from a valid contract from one company to go to the other side, which shows you how valuable he is.
:You know why they're all employed? Why they're all in the spot they are today? Because of Eric Bischoff. The boss of WCW, not the NWO. Look at the credits on their PPV if you can get one for free! The idiot's name is on it! He's the boss of WCW, he works for Ted Turner, and he throws a billionaire's money around, just like water, so he can have guys that he likes to hang out with.
:Because, even more than being a mark—yeah, for his own face and his own voice—Eric Bischoff is a guy who's a big fan of hanging around studly guys with long hair and beards, that smoke cigars, and ride Harleys. So that some of that can rub off on his little pansy-ass frame. So he takes that billionaire's money, and he throws that around like water to buy guys that he can hang around, to prove that his johnson is bigger than everybody else's. And that's the sole reason the NWO guys are employed.
:I think, me personally, that it's about time that the wrestling fans and the promoters, all of them in this business, start recognizing guys like &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, like Arn Anderson, like Cactus Jack. Guys who bust their ass, who work hard, and have ability and have talent to get where they are, instead of a bunch of guys that get to their spot by hanging around with the boss and sucking up. I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== October 13 ===

:'''Bret''': ''[to Shawn and Hunter on the TitanTron]'' Why don't you two degenerates come down here right now and step in the ring with me right now? Either one of you, I don't care! Either one of you, right now!
:'''Shawn''': Is he challenging me?
:'''Hunter''': Is he challenging us?
:'''Shawn''': Now regularly, regularly I would take him up on his challenge. But you know why I'm not gonna? You know why I'm not gonna? I'll tell you why. Because the last time I took him up on a challenge was [[w:WrestleMania XII|WrestleMania]], and I beat his ass for that stupid piece of tin he's got on his shoulder; and at [[w:Survivor Series (1997)|Survivor Series]], I'm gonna take that stupid piece of tin you got on your shoulder once again. I've beaten you, I've beaten your brother, I've beat both your brother-in-laws, and I'll beat up your whole family if you get in my face one more time.
:'''Hunter''': And as far as I'm concerned, Bret Hart, you want a piece of me, huh?! ''[Shawn holds him back]'' You want a piece of me?! Come on! I'll take you on, Hitman! I'll give you the worst beating of your life! Hey, wait a second. I did that last week. I did that last week, Hitman! So never mind, I don't need to do it twice! I already did it!
:'''Shawn''': I tell you, I took so many shots to my head, I almost forgot how bad we beat him up last week. Hitman, I got news for you. Sometime during this show, we are gonna cross paths. And you talk about us being degenerates. You know what, I'm tired of Generation X getting a bad rap.
:'''Hunter''': Do you think you're a degenerate?
:'''Shawn''': Well, do you think ''you're'' a degenerate?
:'''Hunter''': Well, I mean...
:'''Shawn''': I mean, I'm positive I'm one.
:'''Hunter''': I guess I'd have to be one then.
:'''Shawn''': Well you know what? Generation X always gets a bad rap, everybody calls us degenerates. Degeneration X, is that us? Degeneration X—Triple H, HBK, Chyna, Ravishing Rick. We are Degeneration X—you make the rules, and we...will...break 'em!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jim Cornette''': I'm Jim Cornette, and the views I'm about to express are my own, but as you'll see, they may be yours, too.
:There's a man named Phil Mushnick who writes columns for the New York Post and for TV Guide. You probably never heard of Mr. Mushnick, but you should because he's had some pretty nasty things to say about you. You see, Phil Mushnick hates pro wrestling and he's not content just to change the channel. He doesn't want you be able to watch it, either. Not the WWF, WCW, ECW, ''nothing''.
:And for the past several years, Mushnick has led a one-man campaign to have the wrestling industry abolished. Recently, when Ted Turner donated one billion dollars to charity, Mr. Mushnick said &quot;the world would be better served if he closed up WCW.&quot; Phil Mushnick is the man who called for and spearheaded the media and publicity barrage over the federal indictment of Vince McMahon and the WWF on steroid charges. And even though McMahon and the WWF were proven totally innocent in a federal courtroom, Mushnick ignores that fact to this very day and writes his columns as if it were a fact that they were proven guilty just so he can continue his one-man crusade. He even wrote a column one time about the Madison Square Garden Network firing Marv Albert, saying that the Garden should cancel wrestling matches, too.
:But Phil Mushnick not only hates wrestling, he hates wrestling fans. Here's a few things he's had to say about you, and I quote:
:&quot;If not for America's lunatic fringe and the disaffected, WCW would be out of business. If you can tell me that you would bring an important child in your life to a pro wrestling match, I have no gripe with you because you clearly don't know right from wrong. And the overwhelming majority of the wrestling fans who contact me simply prove my point by flooding my mailbox with profanities, obscenities, and other acts that show them to be a disenfranchised sub-culture.&quot;
:Well, Mr. Mushnick, I'm a wrestling fan and a lot of the people who read the New York Post and TV Guide are wrestling fans, too. And we don't enjoy being insulted by publications we pay money to read. We don't appreciate being told we don't know how to parent our children! We don't want a pompous, self-righteous man with a grudge sitting on top of Mount Olympus looking down his nose at us campaigning to take away the constitutional right that every American is guaranteed, to freedom of speech, freedom of choice, and freedom to enjoy whatever entertainment we choose! Those are ''facts'', Mr. Mushnick, not rumors, not suppositions, but ''facts''. You oughta try to deal in them sometime. And I think it's time that the millions of people you belittle as subhuman every chance you get tell the New York Post and TV Guide what ''they'' think of ya.
:But if this has been going on so long, why am I mad right now? Because recently, Phil Mushnick used Brian Pillman's death to call for another outcry against wrestling, and I quote once again:
:&quot;The problem is the mainstream media don't look hard enough at pro wrestling. Imagine if middle-aged pro baseball players dropped dead on a regular basis, this would be page one stuff, and a federal inquiry would be launched.&quot;
:''[At this point, Cornette is seething with anger.]''
:Well, Brian Pillman was a friend of mine. From the time he was born with throat cancer, he had the courage to undergo 36 different throat operations. He had the courage to withstand the punishment of pro football and ten years as a pro wrestler. He had the courage to come back from a car wreck that shattered his ankle, and from a lot of other personal tragedies. And then one night, he went to sleep in a hotel room and he died. And for you, Phil Mushnick, to use his death as an excuse for another call to action in your one-man vendetta against pro wrestling is more ''vulgar'' and more ''obscene'' than anything that you've ever falsely accused the wrestling industry of being guilty of! So on behalf of the wrestling fans, the wrestling industry, the friends and family of Brian Pillman, and anyone in this country that denies any one man the right to force his morals and his beliefs on all of us and to take away our constitutional rights, on behalf of those people, I say ''go to hell, Phil Mushnick''! And try to reform things down there because we're doing just fine without you!
:I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== October 27 ===

:'''Jim Cornette''': I'm Jim Cornette. I'm just wondering if there's any people that are sick and tired as I am to be the icon of wrestling. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper claim to be the icon, Shawn Michaels is the icon that can still go, Bret Hart would claim to be the icon if he wasn't too busy crying about being screwed, and Randy Savage is still &quot;Thinkin', Thinkin'!&quot; Well, Shawn Michaels is still the single most talented athlete inside the ring, but outside he's an adolescent obnoxious jerk who takes the tights and goes home if he doesn't get his way. Bret Hart is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, but if he'd have been screwed as many times as he claims, he'd have struck oil by now. And Randy Savage is a legend, but let's face it, how many records did Frank Sinatra sell last year? But the pinnacle of this icon garbage came at last night's cage match between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper to determine—in their minds only—who the real icon is. WCW had the gall to say that this is the greatest cage match in history when it was the greatest in three weeks since Hell in a Cell. But here, you've got a 46-year-old, bald-headed movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build, taking on a guy with an artificial hip that hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years. It's a tribute to the massive egotism in my mind of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policies that this match took place, much less being in the main event when the card was probably the best that WCW was capable of having. By the ten minute mark, they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would've been funny if it wasn't sad. Well, I'm sick and damn tired of hearing guys claim to be the icon, especially when it used to come from guys who usually didn't know when to quit. Roddy Piper was my idol when I was a teenager, but that was 20 years ago. Hulk Hogan, during his best years, was 50% media recreation, and those days are long gone. This match was a slap in the face to every wrestler that takes pride in his profession, and in my mind, no one man is bigger in this sport. But if there is an icon, it would be a man who has great ability inside the ring, and professionalism and maturity outside of it. Let's leave all the petty backstabbing &quot;I make more money than you,&quot; BS with the hat check girl and let's concentrate on talent and attitude. The Undertaker, Ric Flair and Steve Austin have never claimed to be icons, which means that they are big candidates to be just that. And on a personal note to Hulk Hogan, you are a household word, but so is garbage and it stinks when it gets old too. I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion.

=== November 17 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Let's cut right to the chase here. Seven days ago at the Survivor Series, did you, or did you not, [[w:Montreal Screwjob|screw Bret Hart]]?
:'''Vince''': Some would say I screwed Bret Hart; Bret Hart would definitely tell you I screwed him. I look at it from a different standpoint. I look at it from the standpoint of the referee did not screw Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels certainly did not screw Bret Hart, nor did Vince McMahon screw Bret Hart. I truly believe that Bret Hart screwed Bret Hart, and he can look in the mirror and know that.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'm sure in some parts of the country right now, there's a collective groan that you're not accepting responsibility, that you orchestrated the situation, and the fact that there are people not gonna understand what you mean by, &quot;Bret Hart screwed Bret Hart,&quot; so what do you mean by that?
:'''Vince''': Well, I will certainly take responsibility for any decision I've ever made; I've never had a problem doing that. Not that all of my decisions are accurate—they're not—but when I make a bad decision, I'm not above saying I'm sorry and trying to do the best about it that I can. Hopefully, the batting average is pretty good—I make more good decisions than I do bad decisions. And as far as screwing Bret Hart is concerned, there's a time-honored tradition in the wrestling business that when someone is leaving, that they show the right amount of respect to the WWF superstars, in this case, who helped make you that superstar. You show the proper respect to the organization that helped you become who you are today. It's a time-honored tradition, and Bret Hart didn't wanna honor that tradition, and that's something I never, ever would've expected from Bret because he is known as somewhat of a traditionalist in this business. It would've never crossed my mind that Bret would not have wanted to show the right amount of respect to the superstar who helped make him and the organization who helped make him what he is today. Nonetheless, that was Bret's decision. Bret screwed Bret.
:'''Jim Ross''': Some folks along the Internet know that, in 1996, Bret signed a 20-year contract with the WWF. Then I'm sure there are some at home now, some folks are saying, &quot;well, how could Bret Hart be...he's got 18 years left on the contract. How can he leave?&quot; Did Bret Hart ask you to leave the WWF, or did you ask him to leave the WWF?
:'''Vince''': This was a joint decision and it vacillated somewhat as well. It was a joint decision from both Bret and me. And ultimately what happened was the two of us got together and orchestrated the opportunity for Ted Turner's wrestling organization to quote, &quot;steal,&quot; Bret. I felt that, for business reasons, that Bret Hart and the salary we were paying him was not justified. And Bret felt that for creative reasons and the fact that he had become sort of second banana in his own mind to Shawn Michaels who had, quote, &quot;stolen his spot.&quot; So for financial reasons on my part, and creative reasons on Bret Hart's part, the two of us got together and decided, &quot;okay, let's do the very best we can for you, Bret.&quot; So the two of us orchestrated Bret Hart receiving a three-year deal, in which he is paid $3 million a year, which I believe is the richest deal in all of professional wrestling, and that's for working 125 days a year. So I felt from a personal standpoint that if Bret wasn't a great investment any longer for the WWF, although I really didn't want him to go, but nonetheless, that the least I could do for Bret is to help him help himself. And I told Bret, &quot;Bret, if you in fact get this deal from Turner, I am going to be the first person personally to congratulate you.&quot; And I was. From a business standpoint, I didn't really want to lose Bret. He wasn't paying off from a financial standpoint, but nonetheless, I really didn't want to lose Bret. 
:'''Jim Ross''': Certainly, the bitterness of the loss at the Survivor Series could never be more prevalent. He stands in the ring and spits in your face. Shortly thereafter, he is destroying WWF television equipment. Were you prepared for what happened after the match?
:'''Vince''': I was disappointed in Bret when he hit me. Very disappointed. Um, I sustained a concussion, as a result of it, with vision problems to this day. I'll get over it. I didn't think it was the right thing to do. Bret seems to be crowing about that, that I've read, where, you know, he feels proud of striking me. And it wasn't a question of a confrontation because even at 52 years old, I dare say that perhaps things would have been a little different if there was a confrontation. I allowed Bret to strike me, I had hoped that he wouldn't. I had hoped that we could sit down and try and work things out as gentlemen. That's what I had really hoped for. But that's not what happened. 
:'''Jim Ross''': Have you considered pressing charges or perusing legal remedies for that situation in his locker room?
:'''Vince''': I have considered it. I think those options are still available. I'm not pursuing it at the moment. I guess it all depends on Bret as to whether or not I do.
:'''Jim Ross''': If you were only a story writer, and the Survivor Series was the final chapter in the story of Bret Hart, the WWF years, how would have preferred to write the final chapter?
:'''Vince''': As a storyteller, I would have hoped that Bret's story would be a dramatic one. I would hope that Bret's story would be one that would give him dignity, that would give him the poise to state that, &quot;I was, maybe, the greatest WWF Superstar ever,&quot; in terms of his departure. And one way of being able to give back to the company, being able to give back to those individuals, those superstars, who helped you achieve the level of success that you have, when you know that you are leaving in a time-honored tradition, might have been, for argument's sake, that after the most grueling match that Bret ever had in his life, that Bret was pinned. But in that small moment of defeat, Bret would have stood straight up and shown the whole world what a true champion, both as a human being and a wrestling persona, he really is. And if I had been Bret, if I were writing the story, I can see Bret, after a 1-2-3, simply saying, &quot;Okay,&quot; to his opponent, &quot;you got the best of me. I want to congratulate you. I want to stick my hand out and congratulate you. And furthermore, I want everyone in the whole locker room to watch my match, so that I can show, for those who follow in my footsteps, the way in a time-honored tradition, this is to be done. To show every individual, every secretary, everyone in Titan Sports, the WWF, who counts on me to do the right thing, that I was there, that I was a Superstar, maybe the greatest of ever. And I went out the way a true champion would go out.&quot; 
:'''Jim Ross''': Are you able to step back and objectively look at this thing and evaluate your friend, your perhaps former friend Bret Hart, the human being, and have sympathy for this man?
:'''Vince''': Sympathy? I have no sympathy for Bret whatsoever. None. I have no sympathy for someone who is supposed to be a wrestling traditionalist, not doing the right thing for the business that made him, not doing the right thing for the fans and the performers and the organization who helped make him what he is today. Bret made a very, very selfish decision. Bret's gonna have to live with that for the rest of his life. Bret screwed Bret. I have no sympathy whatsoever for Bret.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': This is a crazy question. Would you welcome Bret Hart back? If he said, &quot;you know Vince, I've changed my mind. Can I come back?&quot; Would you allow him to return to the WWF? I mean, he spit in your face, notwithstanding destroying television monitors &amp; equipment, certainly notwithstanding the fact that he punched you. Would you allow him to ever come back to the WWF if that was an option?
:'''Vince''': This is a strange business, and yes, I would. We would have to have a real frank understanding. I would want to hear Bret say, &quot;Vince, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be selfish, I just kind of lost it there for a while.&quot; And I have no problem saying, &quot;Bret, jeez, I'm sorry that I had to do what I had to do as well.&quot; Would I welcome him back? I also would tell Bret no more free shots. I would want that strictly from a man's standpoint, I'd want him to know that. And in the future if we're going to have problems along those lines, in the locker room or anywhere else, okay, we're going to have them, but no more free shots. Yeah. If Bret could tear up his contract with the other guys right now and return, I'd welcome Bret back under those conditions.
:'''Jim Ross''': Was his motivation...do you believe his motivations then, primarily? He said he didn't leave here for the money. 
:'''Vince''': There were signs in the arena following Survivor Series, &quot;Bret sold out.&quot; Bret seems to be sensitive to that subject, that he doesn't want to be known as someone who sold out. I'm proud of the fact that I helped Bret sell out. And that's what Bret did, he sold out. And it's not a big deal because I helped him do it. So, do I think that Bret left for the money? I think that when your making $3 million a year, and you're working 125 days of that year, I think Bret sold out, and I don't blame him for selling out. I helped him sell out. Matter of fact, I would suggest there could be a long line outside the next locker room with wrestlers begging me, &quot;Vince, help me sell out.&quot; So, do I think he sold out? Yeah, and I think that every time Bret says, &quot;No, I didn't do it for the money,&quot; I think that Bret loses credibility every time he says that.
:'''Jim Ross''': Did this whole ugly ordeal with Bret Hart affect you more professionally, the businessman side of Vince McMahon, or the personal side of Vince McMahon? 
:'''Vince''': From the business side, the WWF will go on beyond Bret Hart. From the personal side, it definitely has affected me. I think that Bret and I...you can't end a 14-year relationship like was ended without having feelings. I regret that I felt that I was forced into making the decision that I made. I regret that Bret didn't do the right thing for the business and for himself, because it wouldn't have cost him one dollar less with his deal with Turner. I regret that his fans, if there is such a thing separate from WWF fans, are in any way hurt by any of this. I regret that his family is enduring...having to endure this tirade that Bret seems to be on. I regret that a member of my family, my son, had to witness some of this, especially in the locker room. I regret all of that, from a personal standpoint, yet steadfast remain that I made a tough decision, but it was the right decision for the WWF fans and the WWF superstars that remain here loyal to us. 
:'''Jim Ross''': If you had the opportunity to speak with Bret, and now's not a bad opportunity, because you know he watching. Everybody involved in this situation is watching this right now. What would you say to him now?
:'''Vince''': Probably what I said to him in the locker room, and that is that he made a mistake, that I believe he'll regret from a professional standpoint, didn't have to be made that way. I felt I had to do what I had to do for my company, and our fans, and our superstars that remain here. And I'm unwavering in that point of view, and perhaps Bret is unwavering in his point of view. I don't know that we'll ever get together, I hope we will one day. It's too bad that a 14-year relationship was destroyed because one member of that relationship forgot that we're in the sports-entertainment business. Forgot where he came from.
:'''Jim Ross''': When will you be over this?
:'''Vince''': I'm over it now. At the same time, Bret has been such a part of the WWF. Bret will always...a part of Bret will always be here in the World Wrestling Federation, and I'm going to remember the good times. I'm going to remember all the things that we did with Bret, which he performed to his greatest degree possible, and told those wonderful stories. I'm going to remember Bret as the Excellence of Execution. It's just too damn bad that in the end, Bret really wasn't &quot;the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.&quot; And he had that opportunity to live up to that in his final match in the WWF, and he failed. 

=== December 15 ===
:'''Jim Ross''' ''[describing Steve Austin’s trip after leaving the arena]'': This could be a [[w:P. J. Carlesimo|P.J. Carlesimo]] situation.
:'''Jim Cornette''': Who?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': Owen Hart, I know you are here tonight. You've been spotted. Owen Hart, I know you can hear my voice, wherever you may be in this arena. And I must inform you that you've been endangering indeed the safety certainly of our ringside fans with your antics as of late.
:'''Jim Cornette''': McMahon's turning into [[w:In Living Color|Fire Marshall Bill]] with all this &quot;fan safety&quot; business.
:'''Vince''': You've been crawling over ringside fans coming into the ring interfering in matches with Shawn Michaels. And make no mistake: I don't give a damn about Shawn Michaels – it's just that you're endangering the safety of ringside fans by coming in and coming out. That will not be tolerated. I know you can hear me. I like to remind you, Owen: You are still under contract to the World Wrestling Federation. And as such, I'm ordering you to appear in this ring, right now. ''[Owen Hart walks to the ring from somewhere in the audience to &quot;Owen&quot; chants]'' What's this all about, and who do you think you are?
:'''Owen Hart''': ''[takes off shades]'' Who do I think I am? ''[pokes Vince]'' Who the HELL do you think you are?! You think I owe you a goddamn apology?! I don't owe you a goddamn thing! I'm sick and tired of trying to please everybody else around here, and the bullshit stops right here!
:'''Cornette''': Well, ''that's'' showing McMahon plenty of respect!
:'''Jim Ross''': This could get very, very ugly in a hurry.
:'''Owen''': Now my brother, Bret, and Neidhart, and Bulldog, they did what they had to do, and now it's time for ''me'' to do what I have to do, and that is remain right here in the World Wrestling Federation! ''[crowd cheers]'' Now, I spent nine years breaking my back day-after-day to earn a reputation in this company, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is going to run me out of this company, and you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about!
:'''Vince''': Oh yeah, I have a real good idea who you're talking about. You're talking about self-professed &quot;Showstopper,&quot; right? You're talking about the Icon, you're talking about the WWF Champion, Shawn Michaels. And isn't that really what it's all about, Owen? Huh? Isn't that what this whole thing's all about? You attempting to gain the only title that's eluded you in your career here? It's all about the WWF Title, isn't it?
:'''Owen''': How stupid are you? Is that what you think this is about?! Do you think I give a damn about a worthless title: a piece of leather with tin on it?! This is real life, Vince. This is real life - MY life! MY reputation! MY respect! MY dignity! And McMahon, don't you get me wrong. I'm not ASKING you, I am TELLING you exactly what I am going to do! And that is... and that is make Shawn Michaels' life a living HELL! 
:'''Ross''': A lot of that going around these days.
:'''Cornette''': I--I know what you mean!
:'''Vince''' ''[exasperated]'': Let me tell you--
:'''Owen''': Listen to me for a second. You can call me the &quot;Sole Survivor,&quot; you can call me the &quot;Black Sheep,&quot; I really don't give a shit!
:'''Ross''': Uh-oh. Not good.
:'''Owen''': Shawn Michaels, this is not a game, this is real life, and you started it... and now, it's time for this &quot;little nugget&quot; to end it!
:'''Ross''': Shawn Michaels is a marked man, and so is Helmsley!
:'''Vince''': All right, now let me tell you what ''I'm'' going to do, Mr. Hart. I believe we have some uniformed security I'd like to ask to come to the ring. ''[crowd boos]'' And the reason I'd like to ask for uniformed security, Mr. Hart, is to make sure that, again, we do not endanger the safety of any of our ringside fans, because next week... next week, right here, you're gonna come in to the ring down the ramp like every other WWF superstar, and you're gonna compete in this ring next week just like every other WWF superstar. You're not gonna run over any more ringside fans – all right?!
:'''Cornette''' ''[as security surrounds Owen]'': That's every cop in New Hampshire!
:'''Ross''' ''[as Owen approaches Vince]'': Look out here. I don't like the look in Owen Hart's eyes. He's been under a tremendous amount of stress.
:'''Cornette''': Looks like a hungry dog eyeing a steak!
:'''Ross''': Owen could snap at any--
:''[Owen grabs Vince and stares him down]''
:'''Cornette''': Hey!
:'''Ross''': Oh, uh-oh!
:'''Cornette''' ''[as Owen pushes Vince away and Vince motions for security to get Owen out]'': Just to prove he can do it! Whatever Shawn Michaels has to say, I'll tell you what: in my opinion, Owen Hart's got some big nuggets! ''[Owen gets taken out of the arena through the crowd as they chant his name]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': It has been said that anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation, but now more than ever, truer words have never been spoken. This is a conscious effort on our part to &quot;Open the Creative Envelope&quot;, so to speak, in order to entertain you in a more contemporary manner. Even though we call ourselves &quot;sports entertainment&quot; because of the athleticism involved, the key word in that phrase is &quot;entertainment&quot;. The WWF extends far beyond the strict confines of sports presentation into the wide open environment of broad-based entertainment. We borrow from such program niches like soap operas like ''[[w:Days of our Lives|The Days of our Lives]]'', or music videos such as those on [[w:MTV|MTV]], daytime talk-shows like ''[[w:The Jerry Springer Show|Jerry Springer]]'' and others, cartoons like ''[[w:King of the Hill|The King of the Hill]]'' on [[w:Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox]], sitcoms like ''[[w:Seinfeld|Seinfeld]]'', and other widely accepted forms of television entertainment. We in the WWF think that you, the audience, are quite frankly tired of having your intelligence insulted. We also think that you're tired of the same old simplistic theory of &quot;good guys vs. bad guys&quot;. Surely the era of &quot;[[w:Hulk Hogan|The superhero who urge you to say your prayers and take your vitamins]]&quot; is definitely passe. Therefore, we've embarked upon a far more innovative and contemporary creative campaign that is far more invigorating and extemporaneous than ever before. However, due to the live nature of ''Raw'' and ''The War Zone'', we encourage some degree of parental discretion as it relates to the younger audience allowed to stay up late. Other WWF programs on USA such as Saturday Morning ''[[w:WWF LiveWire|LiveWire]]'' and Sunday Morning ''[[w:WWF Superstars of Wrestling|Superstars]]'', where there is a 40% increase in the younger audience, obviously however need no such discretion. We are responsible television producers who work hard to bring you this outrageous, wacky, wonderful world known as the WWF. Through some 50 years, the World Wrestling Federation has been an entertainment mainstay here in North America and all over the world. One of the reasons for that longevity is as the times have changed, so have we. I am happy to say that this new vibrant, creative direction has resulted in a huge increase in television viewership, for which we thank [[w:USA Network|USA Network]] and [[w:The Sports Network|TSN]] for allowing us to have the creative freedom, but most especially we would like to thank you for watching. Raw and the War Zone are definitely the cure for the common show.

=== December 22 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': Remember, the European Title on the line. Shawn Michaels putting the European Title on the line here, as he will the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble in that much-anticipated casket match with the Undertaker. ''[Shawn and Hunter lock up and Hunter immediately shoves Shawn down]'' Collar-and-elbow tie-up.
:''[Hunter over-dramatically runs the ropes over a supine Shawn for 14 seconds]''
:'''Jim Cornette''': And reluctantly on his part, on both of them. He didn't want to put the title up either.
:'''Ross''': Wait a minute. Why is Michaels just lying there?
:'''Cornette''': Well, why doesn't Helmsley slow down and stop? What is it?
:'''Ross''': ''[catching on]'' It's a mockery. ''[Hunter jumps and softly splashes Shawn, hooking his leg]'' We thought that... oh, here it is.
:''[Hebner counts to three. Hunter celebrates while Shawn &quot;cries.&quot;]''
:'''Cornette''': ''[over Tony Chimel's announcement]'' It was a ruse! 
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner and the new World Wrestling Federation European Champion: &quot;Triple H&quot; Hunter Hearst-Helmsley!
:'''Cornette''': ''[cont'd]'' A ploy, a plot, a plan, a charade, a conspiracy, a sham! We've been conned, hoodwinked, bamboozled, flim-flammed, had the wool pulled over our eyes even!
:'''Ross''': Slaughter apparently has been watching this on the monitor, we've just been informed, and is on his way to the ring. Helmsley with the European Title. We thought it was gonna be Slaughter's revenge.
:'''Cornette''': Look at these two jackasses! Michael [''sic''] cries every time he comes to this town!

=== December 29 ===

:'''Jim Cornette''': Well, the WWF has asked me to do a commentary on the state of wrestling in 1998; I guess they figured, &quot;Cornette's always good for a couple of laughs.&quot; Well, I'm not really gonna be too funny tonight. Because you see, I think the state of wrestling in 1998 ''stinks''! I think WCW stinks, I think the nWo stinks, I think ECW is embarrassing, and I think the WWF stinks! And I'll tell you why. You don't have to go back any further than last week on Raw, you got a guy coming out dressed like a Christmas tree, you got a woman dressed like a reindeer, you got two adolescent mulletheads showing their butt cheeks on national TV, and having a phony match for a championship! I think it stinks! I think it's disgusting! I think nobody has any respect for wrestling anymore! Where is &quot;wrestling&quot;? Not &quot;sports entertainment&quot;, but ''wrestling''! You know, just a couple of years ago, I left my home in Tennessee and I moved to Connecticut, which is like trading a Hawaiian vacation for a bed in a cancer ward, to come to work for the WWF full-time, the biggest wrestling promotion in the history of the planet! And I moved to Connecticut with snow on the ground seven months out of the year, real estate prices that would make Donald Trump's hair stand on end, the rudest bunch of people I've ever seen where English is the second language, and traffic jams at four o'clock in the morning! But I think that's OK, because I'm with the biggest wrestling promotion of all time, the WWF! But over the last couple of years, I don't see any wrestling! They got some great wrestlers around here, but they don't have any time to wrestle, because of all the folderol and the nonsense going on! You see, what the problem is, is the people running the two big promotions! [[w:Eric Bischoff|One guy]] is a game show host wannabe from Minneapolis with phony teeth, phony hair, and a phony tan! And running the WWF, you got a whole office building full of Yankees from New York City that wouldn't know a wrestling match if it bit them! So they sit around all day, listening to people on the Internet; and the people on the Internet wouldn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch! I don't particularly care what some Yankee from New York City wants to see! I wanna see wrestling matches with wrestlers! I wanna see real old-fashioned wrestling! I wanna see some people who have some respect for the traditions of the wrestling industry, have some respect for the sport of wrestling! I don't wanna see &quot;sports entertainment&quot; and flying donkeys all around! I think it's garbage, I think it's insulting, and I think it's a shame to a fine sport like this! Down south where I come from, they know wrestling, they were brought up on it, they grew up on it, and they respect it! And I think it's about time that the promoters and the wrestling industry today recognize that wrestling fans watching a wrestling programme want to see wrestlers '''''wrestle'''''! That's... That's easy! It's not too hard to understand if you just think about it. But the problem is, is that nobody has any respect for tradition. Well, I got news for you; I got respect for tradition, and I've always been associated with real good old-fashioned wrestling, a sport of wrestling, not a circus sideshow, not a cartoon show; and if nobody else is bring some wrestling around here, then maybe it's gonna be up to Jim Cornette! So that might be my New Year's resolution for 1998! I might bring some tradition, I might bring some ''real'' wrestling back and clear this whole mess out, because I think it stinks! So there's my address, there's my opinion, there's my commentary, do with it what you want, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Bah Humbug, I'm outta here!

== 1998 ==

=== January 12 ===
:''[After stunning Mankind and Goldust, Steve Austin puts on JR's headset.]''
:'''Steve Austin''': Oh hell yeah! No more Mr. Nice Guy until after this Rumble! Jim, someone told me the other day at the airport, &quot;Steve, if you think you can win the Rumble, give me a hell yeah!&quot; And I gave a &quot;OH HELLLLL YEAHHHHH!&quot;

=== January 19 ===
:'''Vince McMahon''': At this time I'd like to introduce to you a man who is simply the baddest man on the planet! Ladies and gentlemen, &quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson! ''[Tyson enters the ring with his crew]'' &quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson! Mike, it is unquestionable, an honor and a privilege to have you standing in a World Wrestling Federation ring.
:'''Mike Tyson''': Well, it is a privilege to be here, man. I don't know, I've been a fan since I'm eight, nine years old and I'm just happy to be here.
:'''Vince''': Well, tell me your old time favorites here in the WWF.
:'''Mike''': Bruno Sammartino.
:'''Vince''': Don Leo Jonathan as well?
:'''Mike''': Nikolai Volkoff, man I go way back. I'm just proud to be involved in this.
:'''Vince''': Alright, now ladies and gentlemen. The moment we have awaited, the big announcement, and the announcement is that on March 29th at WrestleMania in this very ring...&quot;Iron&quot; Mike Tyson will... ''[Steve Austin's music interrupts McMahon and Austin enters the ring. Several officials and execs rush in.]'' Hey! Hey! Mr. Austin, why are you here?
:'''Steve''': Because I'm sick and tired of seeing Mike Tyson, he comes in, he's shaking everybody's hands, making friends with all the WWF Superstars, and it's made me so damn sick, I've been in the back throwing up. ''[Tyson extends his hand]'' I ain't gonna shake your damn hand, because I ain't out here to make friends with you. Mike... shut up. I respect... I respect what you've done in the boxing world, but Jesus Christ, son, when you step in this ring, you're messing with Stone Cold Steve Austin and that's something you don't do. Let me make it short and sweet, what I'm telling you is I want a piece of Mike Tyson's ass. ''[To Vince]'' Shut up. Don't say one word, Vince; I'll knock your damn lights out, too. I respect what you've done, Mike, but you're out here calling yourself the baddest man on the planet. Right now, you got your little beady eyes locked on the eyes of the world's toughest son-of-a-bitch! I can beat you any day of the week, twice on Sunday. Do I think I... Do I think you can beat my ass? Hell no! Do I think I can beat your ass? Why, hell yeah! I don't know how good your hearin' is, but if you don't understand what I'm sayin', I always got a little bit of sign language, so here's to ya! ''[flips off Tyson to Vince's surprise. Tyson gestures with his hands and shoves Austin, causing a brawl between the two men. Everybody else pulls them apart and Austin is manhandled off the ring]''
:'''Vince''': Get out of here! You ruined it, you ruined it! ''[goes under second rope to get closer down to Austin] '''YOU RUINED IT, DAMMIT, YOU RUINED IT!!!''' [Austin flips him off as Shane tries to placate Vince]''
===February 2===
:''[Shawn and Triple H along with Chyna make their apology to RAW's carrier networks in a manner of an official presidential announcement]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Good evening my fellow Americans. This past week, Degeneration X was informed that TSN, STAR TV, SKY Sports, and USA Network is drawing the line on standards and practices as it relates to WWF programming and Degeneration X. In the future, we need to be careful of what we do and what we won't do. Again, DX gets in trouble every time we do something fortuitously. Therefore, the following is the standard and practices that DX promises to adhere to. ''[steps aside for Triple H]''
:'''Triple H''': From the hours of nine to ten PM, we will only use the words &quot;ass&quot;, &quot;damn&quot;, and &quot;hell&quot;. We will, however use the words &quot;shit&quot;, &quot;fuck&quot;, &quot;goddamn&quot;, &quot;Jesus Christ&quot;, &quot;bitch,&quot; &quot;faggot&quot;, or any other sexual or racial slurs. From the ten to eleven PM hour, we will only use the words &quot;ass&quot;, &quot;damn&quot;, &quot;hell&quot; and &quot;bitch.&quot; We will never, however use the words &quot;shit&quot;, &quot;fuck&quot;, &quot;goddamn&quot;, &quot;Jesus Christ&quot;, &quot;faggot&quot;, or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now as it pertains to video, we promise there will be less dick references-
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Oh shit!
:'''HHH''': ''[to Shawn with light tap on chest]'' Watch your fucking mouth!
:'''Shawn''': ''[scoffs]'' Fuck me.
:'''HHH''': Goddamn it. Fuck! Anyway, we will have less references to our enormous genitalia. ''[gives way to Shawn]''
:'''Shawn''': On a final note, you know many of you believe that currently, the favored pastime in the Oral Office is &quot;Swallow the Leader&quot;...''[delivers like Clinton's famous denial]'' I did not, I repeat, I did not sleep with that young intern. ''[normal]'' As a matter of fact, I was ''[makes DX crotchchop]'' UP ALL NIGHT!! ''[laughs along with HHH]''

===March 2===
:''[Kane has just decked out a fan and timekeeper Mark Yeaton, but Paul Bearer couldn't assure him enough that a constant tolling of bells was nothing... until they see a casket on the stage hit by a lightning bolt and the Undertaker rises out of it]''
:'''The Undertaker''': Welcome to HELL! I am the demon who will lead you into eternal damnation. Kane, you disappointed me. Is that the best effort that you can put together at the Royal Rumble? Did you think that could destroy me? Don't you know that you cannot destroy that does not wish to perish? And you, Paul, the ''audacity'' to come out here week after week and claim responsibility for my disappearance! The fact of the matter is: all those times when I return to the world of darkness it's of my own appoint. It's a time for spiritual healing. It's a time for the truth, and I know the truth. At this trip, what I was doing was soothing the souls of my parents, because I had to explain to them why I would have to do the one thing I promised never to do. Kane...
:'''Paul Bearer''': You're not The Phenom anymore! I'm standing next to the real Phenom!
:''[Kane lights up the stage but Undertaker passes right through the fireworks]''
:'''Undertaker''': I will walk straight through the FIRES OF HELL to face you, Kane! And when you look into the eyes of your older brother, you will understand why, I am the most feared entity in the World Wrestling Federation. You will understand why, I am the Reaper of Wayward Souls and you will understand why I am the Lord of Darkness. Kane, there is one thought that I want you to think about between now and WrestleMania 14 – March 29th. I want you to remember, when we were small children, and we would begin to fight, mother and father were always there to pull me off of you. Well, this time there won't be anyone to save you. May the hounds of hell eat your rotting soul and you will...Rest...In...Peace!

===March 16===
:''[legends vignette for WrestleMania XIV, featuring voiceovers of WWF legends over footage]''
:'''&quot;Classy&quot; Freddie Blassie''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Killer Kowalski''': Time has not silenced the crowd.
:'''Ernie Ladd''': I never did a moonsault.
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': or walked the top rope.
:'''Pat Patterson''': There were no pyrotechnics...
:'''Monsoon''': No fancy, flashing lights.
:'''Blassie''': We never flew through the air.
:'''Patterson''': We were men of courage...
:'''Kowalski''': Men of steel...
:'''Blassie''': They were men without fear.
:'''Ladd''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Monsoon''': But today...
:'''Blassie''': I cheer for them.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[the lights are out again as Kane and Paul Bearer are in the ring ready to pounce on Sable; Undertaker appears at the top of the TitanTron]''
:'''Undertaker''': Kane, WrestleMania 14, I will strike down upon thee with anger and furious vengeance!!! I will deliver you to the fiery pits of eternal damnation. You will know my name as the Lord of Darkness! Little brother, I felt your wrath, now you're gonna feel mine. It's too late to turn back. The only thing that you can do now is Rest...In...Peace!!! ''[summons lightning bolt that opens upright casket at the stage, revealing an effigy of Kane that suddenly burns]''

===March 23===
:''[The Undertaker visits his parents' graves]''
:'''Undertaker''': Mother and Father, I've done some things in my life which I'm not very proud and I'm sure there's been occasions where I haven't live up to your expectations of me. I do hope that now, you'd understand, that I've come to my crossroads. The Devil himself stands before me in the form of my own flesh and blood, of my own brother Kane. Mother, please forgive me for the sin which I'm about to commit, a sin so heinous, but its something that must be done. In the end, I only hope that together, as one we can rest in peace, a family once again - and as such is not the case, I alone am willing to serve my penance. I am willing to burn in my own damnation. I'm willing to look my destiny in the eye and go where the Reaper leads me. Please understand, he's given me no other choice. I have to fight. Just know that I love you.

===March 30===
:''[HHH appears in the ring with Chyna after Wrestlemania XIV]''
:'''Triple H''': You know, a lot can happen in twenty-four hours... let's start with Mike Tyson. You know, I must have asked a thousand times, &quot;Is he locked in? Is he with us? Is he a part of us? Are you SURE? Is it sewn up?&quot; Heh - what I heard was &quot;Don't worry, kid - I got it covered. Don't sweat it. You worry too much - it's sewn up. Let me make the decisions.&quot; Well, you dropped the ball. But don't worry, HBK, 'cause Triple H picked it up, and now the ball is in MY court! I'll take care of the worries - I'll take care of the problems - and I'll make the decisions. This is the genesis of D-Generation X. Tonight, live in front of the world, I form the DX Army - an army to take care of business that should have been taken care of right from the start. And when you start an army, when you set out to do what no one else can do, the first thing you do is you look to your blood - you look to your buddies - you look to your friends. You look to the Kliq! ''[points to the stage and DX music plays... as Sean &quot;123 Kid&quot; Waltman appears and heads down to the ring to greet Triple H]'' You know, when you've been an indentured servant for two years, you run up a lot of feelings - talk to 'em, Kid.
:'''Sean &quot;123 Kid&quot; Waltman''': ALBANY NEW YORK - RAISE SOME HELL MAKE A LITTLE NOISE! First things first - I've got a little something I've got to get off my chest right now. I heard Hulk Hogan come out on television sayin' I couldn't cut the mustard. Well, Hulk Hogan, you suck, pal! So I don't think you have any room to talk about anybody cutting any kind of mustard. And Hulk, I got some... I got some more advice for ya. You'd better not stop short, or Eric Bischoff will go so far up your ass, he'll know what you had for breakfast!
:And now on to important matters at hand. I'm sittin' at home with my mind on my money and my money on my mind - and I get a call from one of my best friends o' my entire life, Triple H, and he says, &quot;DX needs your help.&quot; Well dammit, Triple H, any time you ever need anything from me, pal, you got it. And I got something else to say - Kevin Nash and Scott Hall would be standing right here with us if they weren't bein' held hostage by World Championship Wrestling and that's a fact Eric Bischoff, so put that in your pipe and smoke it! So the way I see it right now, this is a new beginning for D-Generation X, and we're here to rip ass on the World Wrestling Federation... AND IT STARTS TONIGHT!!!!
:'''Triple H''': Oh yeah, by the way, I got two words for ya...
:'''Kid''': SUCK IT!
:'''Triple H''': Yeah!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer gloats over Kane mauling Undertaker the night before]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Undertaker! Behold, your brother. Undertaker...did you actually believe last night, after the 1, 2, 3 that it was all over? Did you actually think so!? You are looking at your flesh and blood - the only man to ever kick out of your famous Tombstone. Not once - but twice! And he would have done it a third time! Don't you know, Undertaker - you have had to change. After all this, I know you've had to change, deep down inside, that cold, cold heart that your body harbors!

:You have faced your flesh and blood, one on one! He beat you all over that ring last night - the whole world's seen it! You cowered in the corner, Undertaker, as your brother put his fist against your skull. After I returned to the hotel last evening, I put myself in bed, I shut my eyes. I was proud, but I was awoken at about 2am with a dream! Yes, Kane, I had a dream! In that dream, I saw a wrestling ring - in that dream, I saw the ring surrounded by fire... in that ring, I saw Kane, standing all alone. Undertaker, I challenge YOU to step into my dream - step into the ring - step into the fire and face your brother one more time! But the dream is not finished yet... in order to win this match, Undertaker, either you or your brother will have to '''CATCH FIRE!''' The loser must catch fire - an Inferno! Unforgiven! In! Your! House!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Austin gets his phone call after being arrested earlier]''
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': ''[patched to JR in the arena]'' Jesus Christ, this is Stone Cold Steve Austin. I get one phone call when you get locked up in jail and I'm sure Vince McMahon thought I was gonna call a lawyer? ehhehehh!!! That ain't gonna happen! I want you to tell Vince McMahon firsthand, I think he's a sorry sorry son of a bitch and the last time I checked, the last time I checked when you give someone the Stone Cold Stunner, it ain't punishable by the death penalty, so that means, Vince McMahon's ass belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin, and next week on RAW IS WAR, he's gonna find out just how pissed off Stone Cold Steve Austin is and I can guarantee you one thing, it ain't gonna be a very fun night for Vince McMahon next Monday night and if that don't work, I'll pay his ass a house call just like I've done in the past. Vince McMahon will find out, Austin 3:16 say I just whipped your ass and that's what's gonna happen!

===April 6===
:''[Cactus Jack appears]''
:'''Cactus Jack''': I have always taken a lot of chances in the ring and some very bad things have happened to me over the years, but I've always had the comfort of knowing that when I looked at my career, my dreams, the things I accomplished, the things I'd set my heart on... that it was always worth the pain. So people ask, &quot;Cactus, so how's your neck?&quot;, I say, that I'll be damned, if I'm gonna let a group of SCUM like DX put Cactus Jack away.

:No, I guess, you see, that... Terry Funk's not here and I haven't talked to Terry, but I've left a message on his answering machine and I'm not saying this to sound tough, but Cactus Jack and Terry Funk do not miss wrestling matches! So I have to guess, if the Funker was hurt enough to fly home, that it's probably pretty bad. And I really wish that people could know Terry a little bit more than what they see in the ring, because people will always debate on who the greatest wrestler of all time is, but I guarantee you, you ask every damn last bunch of people in the dressroom, they'll say that Terry Funk is the gutsiest old bastard they've ever seen in their lives.

:And I guess you've probably seen Terry's back, and I hope you saw WrestleMania because it was a tremendous match and I'm very proud of it, and Terry was laying there on the bed with his belt and he said, &quot;Cactus, I'm gonna be alright because I consider this the last match of my career.&quot; See, Terry always wanted to retire as a WWF champion and he said, &quot;Cactus, it's all been worth it, but we don't have those belts now, do we?&quot; And I'm not gonna get into the reason why, but I will say, that when Cactus Jack was laying - and I was conscious and I could move, but it was very hard to move and I was not very far from being unconscious - and when I looked at Terry Funk, well, I heard something in my... in my ears that - I gotta tell you the truth - it kinda made me sick! That's... there was an announcement being made, thanking the fans for coming to the WWF event... and they said something about Stone Cold Steve Austin... and, uh, yeah, people... people started chanting his name. And it's... it's funny, because... when I came here two years ago and I was Mankind, there were always people saying, &quot;Why don't you just be Cactus Jack?&quot; Then I came out in tie-dye and white boots, and they said, &quot;You know, why don't you just be Cactus Jack?&quot; Well, I gave you Cactus Jack. I GAVE YOU EVERY GODDAMN PIECE OF ENERGY I HAD... and when I was laying there, helpless... you chanted someone else's name... ''[stands up]''

:This is not a knock on Stone Cold Steve Austin! Hey I'm happy he's the champion, and he may not admit it, but we've known each other a long time, and he's been my friend. But what you did to me and Terry Funk laying here in the middle of the ring was not only distasteful and disrespectful, it was goddamn disgusting... and I'm gonna give you a chance to make it up to me... because I'm gonna accept a group apology right now. ''[feels crowd heat]'' Well... I can finally say for the first time, after 13 years of blood, sweat and tears, that it's not worth it anymore. It's gonna be a long time before you see Cactus Jack in a ring again. ''[drops mic and leaves ring]''

===April 13===
:''[Shane McMahon and Jim Ross are in Vince McMahon's locker room asking him not to take up Steve Austin's challenge for a WWF title match]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': You get to the car, ok? ''[slams coat onto the table]'' Get my bag and bring it back here.
:'''Shane McMahon''': ''[over Vince's command]'' This is the dumbest decision you've ever made.
:'''Vince''': It may be.
:'''Gerald Brisco''': No it's not.
:'''Shane''': This is the dumbest decision you've ever made!
:'''Brisco''': No, it's not!
:'''Vince''': ''[to JR as Shane storms out]'' And you, you go out there and do your job please, thank you very much.

===April 27===
:''[DX - the New Age Outlaws, Chyna, and XPac, assemble near a military jeep with recoilless cannon]''
:'''Triple H''': Attention! ''[the four stand at attention with Chyna poking her M-16 into Road Dogg's crotch. starts pacing back and forth]'' At ease, men. ''[group goes at ease. Billy Gunn has his rocket launcher tucked like an erect penis and lowers it a bit]'' I said at ease! ''[rocket launcher is lowered more]'' That's better. ''[walks to Billy]'' Stand up straight, soldier. Today we embark on a mission. We have seen the enemy, and he's near. So today, we're gonna go down there.
:'''DX members''': Down where, sir? 
:'''HHH''': There ''[makes crotch gesture]'' and we will blow them out of the water. This mission, should you choose to accept it, will start at the [[w:Norfolk Scope|Norfolk Scope]], with ''[mock Southern drawl]'' Dubya-C-Dubya, the Rasslin' ''[to normal voice]'' and it will end right here tonight, at the [[w:Hampton Roads Coliseum|Hampton Roads Coliseum]], for RAW is WAR. This is your mission, ''[XPac makes a few unintelligible words]'' if you choose to accept it, ladies and gentlemen, if you choose to accept it, it will be all for one and ''[gestures open-palm to DX]''
:'''All DX members''': One for All, so ''[makes DX crotch chop]'' SUCK IT! ''[talk amongst themselves as they mount the jeep. HHH stands on the shotgun seat]''
:'''HHH''': ''[gestures with baton]'' ATTACK!!! ''[DX starts moving]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer has just cut a promo about Kane's predicament at Unforgiven, revealing Kane is his son]''
:'''Jim Ross''':... and of course, the Undertaker obviously was shocked. What we're hearing then is that Paul Bearer is Kane's father.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': And do you know what that means? You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out - that means Paul Bearer had to sleep with the Undertaker's mother!
:'''Ross''': Good Lord..
:'''Lawler''': Whoa!! ''[scoffs and laughs at the revelation]''

===May 4===
:'''Mick Foley''': Cut this music... does anybody here know my name? Because to tell you the truth, I don't know who the hell I am anymore. At Unforgiven, I beat Stone Cold Steve Austin - no I do not have the heavyweight title, but I came real close. And for those of you who've never been on the receiving end of a Stone Cold ass-kicking, let me tell you, it doesn't feel that good... If you were to ask Stone Cold Steve Austin how he felt the next day, well he probably would say he didn't feel a whole hell of a lot better.

:So now, how do I get rewarded for my efforts at Unforgiven? By receiving a rematch? No! By being proclaimed the No.1 contender? No! You see, that honor went to... Goldust. The last time I checked my resume, I was going head to head with the heavyweight champion of the world. The last time I checked the resume of Goldust, that panty-wearing pansy... he was wearing a black teddy in a woman's negligee match. And now the WWF has informed me that I am to wrestle Terry Funk in a no-holds-barred, falls-count-anywhere match. And I guess I know what Vince McMahon must thinking, 'hey let those two kill each other and I won't have to deal with them anymore.'

:You see, I don't have all the answers, but I do know a few things. Number one, I'll be damned if I'm going to throw away 13 years of hard work by sucking up to a low-life like Vince McMahon; number two, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let my wife and kids see me bumping and grinding with a couple of second rate strippers on national television; and number three, I'll be damned if I perform in this stuff ''[Dude Love Outfit]'' ever again. What I'd like right now is to have Vince McMahon out here, because I, Cactus Jack, want some answers and I want them right now! I am waiting for your replay! Vince McMahon, if you are a man, you come out here and face the music. ''[Vince McMahon enters the ring]'' Vince, I don't care what you do - if you bury it ''[Dude Love Outfit]'', you burn it or you put it on yourself, but you will not make me dress up like a horse's ass... EVER... are we understood? ARE WE?&quot;

:'''Vince McMahon''': You've got guts enough to call me out before you? Me? The owner of the World Wrestling Federation? You've got guts enough to call me out before you and all these people? Who the hell do you think you are? Let me tell you something - sure, you hold a victory over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Unforgiven, but you didn't get the job done, because Stone Cold Steve Austin is still the World Wrestling Federation champion!

:And the next night, sure, Goldust becomes the #1 contender, how do you react? You kvetch, you bitch, you cry, you moan, just like all these other people would at their lost opportunity, because you see... they have to make excuses when they don't get that raise, they don't get that promotion, they have to make excuses - I would expect better from you and then... you think I'm trying to punish you by booking you in a match with your best friend, Terry Funk, a no-holds-barred match?
:'''Mick''': Yes, I do!
:'''Vince''': That's not a punishment, THAT'S REWARD, that's what it is, a REWARD!
:'''Mick''': How you figure?
:'''Vince''': Because I believe that you and I are a lot alike. I believe that you recognize this as it truly is. You see, I take adversity and turn it into triumph... This match that you have with your best friend is an opportunity, and that's what I give better than anybody else in the world, opportunity... don't you see? Can't you clearly see this picture? Who've you been listening to?

:Because, if you seize this moment, if you take your best friend out to this ring tonight, and you not only beat him, but beat him... an inch from his life, if you tear him limb from limb... if you REACH INTO HIS CHEST AND PULL OUT HIS HEART... AND HOLD IT AND THE BLOOD DRIPS DOWN ALL OVER YA... THEN YOU WOULD'VE MADE the kind of sacrifice that's necessary to become the #1 contender, the kind of sacrifice that's necessary to BEAT Stone Cold Steve Austin, THE KIND OF SACRIFICE that's necessary TO BE the World Wrestling Federation champion!

:I've got faith in you! I've got confidence in you! Because I believe, deep down in that demented cranium.. you can do it! You can do it! You can seize this opportunity and once again become the #1 contender for the World Wrestling Federation championship. When I came out here, you threw Dude Love into my face... How does it feel for me to throw the truth into yours? 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After JR announces an exclusive interview by Jerry Lawler on Paul Bearer, nobody notices the camera still on and the King is very inquisitive about Kane]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': I told you about it. You hear what I told him. I told the world he's my son. He is my son Jerry, it's that simple.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Cmon, so you're telling me-
:'''Bearer''': He's my son!
:'''Lawler''': You're telling me-
:'''Bearer''': You don't believe me?
:'''Lawler''': You're telling me, you're telling me you nailed the Undertaker's mother.
:'''Bearer''': Well, I nailed - nailed - I ''[Lawler scoffs]'' Okay.
:'''King''': Tell me how that...
:'''Bearer''': Jerry, can I trust you?
:'''King''': I'll tell nobody.
:'''Bearer''': I was 19 years old and I was present at the funeral home. I went out on Tuesday nights to the wrestling matches like I always do with my friends, had a few beers. Coming to the funeral home, there she was in this little titty outfit. I've never been ''[Lawler begins to laugh]'' don't tell nobody. I've never been with a woman before at that point. I wasn't fat like I am now, in fact Jerry I was kinda ''[fixes up tie]'' studly. 
:'''King''': Oh yeah right?
:'''Bearer''': I was! Anyway, I come through the door and... she took me right there! Right there!
:'''King''': Wait where, on the embalming table or something?
:'''Bearer''': No no, in the kitchen floor.
:'''King''': Oh no!
:'''Bearer''': Yeah, in the kitchen floor of the ''[slaps thigh]'' funeral home.
:'''King''': ''[starts to giggle and laugh]'' Paul Bearer slips the salami to the Undertaker's mother on the kitchen floor.
:'''Bearer''': In the kitchen floor in the apartment of the funeral home.
:'''King''': Swear to God.
:'''Bearer''': I swear. It's the gospel truth. That's the way it happened. She took me, an innocent 19-year-old boy, as I lost my virginity to her. ''[as Lawler laughs]'' It's true!
:'''King''': Paul Bearer buries his bologna in the Undertaker's mother.
:'''Bearer''': She was a moaning, and a groanin, and screamin'... and I heard some little feet coming down the stairs. It's a good thing I got up, 'cause it was little Taker coming down the stairs. Stopped me just in time, ''[Lawler laughs]'' and if he did took two more steps, he'd have seen his momma's feet, one was in New York, the other was in LA!!! ''[they laugh as Bearer kicks his legs in delight]''
:'''King''': Can you imagine if little Undertaker had come in and seen Paul Bearer and his mother bumping uglies?

===May 25===
:''[Vince McMahon and the stooges come back to the ring after Austin accepts his apology over the mauling the previous week and arrest]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I hope you've had some fun here tonight, Austin. Hope you're real proud of yourself of what you've accomplished. How dare you have me arrested in public like a common criminal! And pour beer down the back of my neck, and then place conditions upon my release, a condition of apology WHICH I DID NOT MEAN!!! and yet, another condition that should someone interfere to stand guard while I officiate the match at the pay-per-view this Sunday to ensure that I call the match fair and square, I accept that condition too and I'll tell you why, because other than [[Godzilla (1998 film)|Godzilla]] recently being released, there isn't one WWF superstar on the roster that can intimidate me, not one!

===June 1===
:''[Mick Foley has called out Mr McMahon over their failure to take down Stone Cold Steve Austin at Over the Edge and also expressed how good it was to bash him with a steel chair]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Why don't you do it again? Why don't you do it right now ''[points to chair]'' There's the chair. Come on, come on, ''[as Mick picks up and they go around the ring]'' make my day Dude, come on... Come on, HIT ME! Come on, hit me with the chair, come on, blast me - and just think about that college education, that college fund you've got for your kids, going ppft right in the air! Come on, come on dude, hit me! Come on, what about that new house you just moved into, huh? What about it? You know the one, the 20-year mortgage? TWENTY YEARS!! Hit me, come on hit me with the chair! What about that little fund you got set aside, for your parents, you know the one! You'd go through that in no time at all. Come on, Dude, come on Dude... Hit me, Dude. ''[Mick Foley sits down as Vince's taunts hit a raw nerve]'' COME ON, HAVE SOME GUTS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, COME ON, HIT ME WITH THE BLOODY CHAIR!! COME ON! Let me tell you something: the only reason I haven't fired Stone Cold Steve Austin is because he makes me richer! You know what you make me, Dude? ''[closer to Mick's face]'' All you do, is make me SICK! So I'll tell you what... your services in the World Wrestling Federation are no longer required. ''[later starts dancing as Dude Love music airs then leaves the ring]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Undertaker appears in casual attire]''
:'''Undertaker''': Let's start from the beginning, some ten years ago when I first arrived in the World Wrestling Federation. Vince McMahon was known as somebody that would give somebody an opportunity, even if they were just a little different. And Vince McMahon did just that. He gave me the chance to be myself, to be the Undertaker. But you see, that's where all the giving stops and all the taking began. Shortly after my arrival here in the World Wrestling Federation I became the slayer of the dragons. Then you ask what do I mean by that? Vince McMahon knew that I would be loyal for him giving me an opportunity, so what he did is he put every giant, every freak that he knew his handpicked champions couldn't beat and he'd stick me on 'em. And I'd beat 'em, I destroyed 'em and I moved on. What I did for Vince McMahon was make his kingdom safe for himself and all of his handpicked champions. The whole time I knew that my time would come. And after I made his kingdom safe and there was no one left, well then I got my opportunities. Oh yes, I am a two-time former World Wrestling Federation champion. But as you all know, my tenures as champion, they didn't last very long. Why? Because Vince McMahon didn't want someone like the Undertaker representing the World Wrestling Federation, but I remained loyal, even after all his hand-chosen favorites left town for greener pastures—more money—I stayed here. I stayed by his side thinking my time would come. How do I get repaid for that? He forces me to fight my own brother. He gives Paul Bearer an open forum to discuss every tragic incident that ever happened in the life of the Undertaker. For what reason? Let me tell you why: Because it's all ratings! He put my family tragedy on the line for ratings. And even after all that, I never lost my smile, I kept on fighting, and as I've been taking care of family business, Stone Cold Steve Austin rises to the top. But don't get me wrong, I got nothing against Steve Austin. The only thing Steve Austin ever did was come to the ring and fight me like a man—and that's all I ever asked. But you see, Vince, after the years of mistreatment and after the last eight months of you throwing my family up in my face, I've had enough. Now it's time the Undertaker got was is rightfully his. I demand... my shot... at the World Wrestling Federation title. Now, I've done enough talking. Now, Vince McMahon, Mr. McMahon, whatever it is you like to be called, I think it's time you've got your pencil-neck-geeked ass out here and face the Reaper. 
:''[Vince McMahon appears and enters the ring. He suddenly takes the mic from Taker]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I'm gonna give you the answer you're looking for in just a minute, but first you're gonna hear me out! After all I've done for you, you choke-slammed me damn near to hell last week! ''[audience pops]'' You hovered over me like a giant vulture last night - and why? To get my attention? You got it! You got it. You wanna talk about loyalty, dedication, honor, all those qualities you have—I'll grant you that and I'm appreciative for it, but you know, let's face it: What have you done for Vince McMahon lately?
:As far as your family is concerned, all your family problems, I've got a question for you. Is Paul Bearer telling the truth when he said that your mother was a whore? ''[stops Undertaker from a sudden reaction]'' I've got to ask. You want the answer? You want the answer? You wanna be the number one contender. You deserve to be the number one contender. That's what you want, that's what you'll get. Sure, no problem. You'll get it. ''[goes outside ropes]'' You'll get it if you defeat your opponent in this ring tonight. There you go, you got what you wanted, okay? So whoever wins the match between you and your opponent will be the number one contender in this ring, live, tonight. So let's see what happens, Undertaker, let's see what happens '''when you have to face your brother, Kane!!!'''

===July 6===
:''[Kane has just taken down Mankind as the No 1 contender for Austin at Fully Loaded, as Vince McMahon and Steve Austin watch along with JR and Jerry Lawler]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': What about it, Austin? Kane...
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Look, look... ''[Kane takes off his mask to reveal it's the Undertaker underneath]''
:'''Jim Ross''': It's not Kane! ''[Austin is surprised]'' It's the Undertaker, it's the Undertaker... ''[the Undertaker makes a throat-slitting motion to Austin]'' the Undertaker's the No 1 contender!!!

===July 27===
:''[Kaientai and their leader, Yamaguchi-san have just seen Val Venis defeat Brian Christopher]''
:'''Yamaguchi-san''': Val Venis, look at me! Listen! Kaientai's gonna challenge you to a match next week. Val Venis, listen. After we win that match, I'll give you a big surprise to you! ''[gives mic to Dick Togo while Funaki readies a large salami roll on a wooden table. Yamaguchi-san slices it with a katana to his roaring delight.]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[stunned]'' That's, that's a pretty subtle message...
:'''Yamaguchi-san''': I choppy-choppy your pee-pee!! HAHAHAA!!!

===August 3===
:''[Taka Michinoku has just turned on Val Venis during their match against Kaientai, and everybody's beating up Val]''
:'''Jim Ross''': What in the heck is going on here? Why did Taka do this?
:'''Taka Michinoku''': ''[points to Mrs Yamaguchi-san]'' Sister! My sister!!!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What did he just say? My sister?
:'''Ross''': Is Mrs Yamaguchi Taka Michinoku's sister?
:'''Lawler''': That's what he's saying. Well, that explains it JR. I mean, she not only disgraced Yamaguchi-san, but Taka's entire family! 

===August 10===
:''[Jerry Lawler talks to Val Venis about how his ordeal with Kaientai went the week before]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Are you still hanging in there?
:'''Val Venis''': Hello, ladies. You know tonight I come to you a humble man, half the man that I used to be, but you know, it's like they say - you live by the sword and you die by the sword. You know there's only one way to stop the mighty boa - and that's to sever it at the head. Well ladies, you better take a rain check on them new snakeskin boots, because - because - the Big Valbowski is alive and ready to bite, baby! Well you know something, thanks to a cold butcher's block, heh heh heh, and a little shrinkage, and of course my good friend, John Wayne Bobbitt, who just happened to cut the lights just at the appropriate time, the Big Valbowski is standing at full attention, cocked, rocked and ready to unload.
:'''[[w:John Wayne Bobbitt|John Wayne Bobbitt]]''': We live on the edge - Val ordered a club soda with a slice and the bartender tried to cut us off.
:'''Lawler''': John I don't want to cut you short - but I understand your ex-wife Lorena actually threw something out the window and it was lost out there for a while, but they found it right?
:'''Bobbitt''': Yeah they found it.
:'''Lawler''': Well that's a good thing because I was thinking how funny a picture of that would look on the side of a milk carton.
:'''Venis''': ''[to Yamaguchi-san's wife]'' Baby, it's been a long, hard road - but it ends right here, baby! You know something, ah don't cry baby, you see NO woman is worth the trouble that you brought me - no woman! I hope you enjoyed the ride baby, because this is where you get off! So take your shoes from under my bed and hit the bricks. ''Adios!'' Goodbye lady!

===September 14===
:''[Val Venis cuts into Dustin Rhodes' promo]''
:'''Val Venis''': Repent? Repent for what, Dustin? Because I work hard? Or is it because I... play hard? Oh and by the way, Dustin, speaking of work, let me introduce you to my latest video, entitled, ''The Preacher's Wife''. ''[TitanTron plays clip of The Preacher's Wife. A Film by Val Venis]''
:'''Venis''': ''[in video toting cigar in a hotel room bed]'' Hello Dustin. You know something, after you jumped me from behind last night, I was a little hurt. In fact, I even needed a little TLC. So after I got back to the hotel, I made a little phone call to the one person who could take my mind off all my aches and pains, and make the Big Valbowski stand proud once again. ''[Terri Runnels appears out of the blanket, implying she was giving Val head]''
:'''Terri Runnels''': Hi Dustin. ''[goes back under]''
:'''Venis''': and again, and again... ''[laughs]''
:'''Dustin Runnels''': ''[mouths off]'' My God... ''[breaks down kneeling with hands to his face]''
:'''Venis''': ''[laughs]'' I guess getting on your knees, Dustin, RUNS IN THE FAMILY!!!

===September 28===
:''[Vince is bitterly angry that Austin crashed his WWF Championship awarding ceremony for the Undertaker and Kane]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Before I was so rudely interrupted, Undertaker and Kane, we were about to present the WWF Championship. However, if you recall, the deal was, Undertaker and Kane, you would get the title shot as long as you kept Stone Cold Steve Austin away from me. For three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me!!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': That's right.
:'''Vince McMahon''': So let me say this, you didn't live up to your end of the deal, I'm not gonna live up to mine! ''[Undertaker glares at him]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What? What is he saying, J.R.?
:'''Vince McMahon''': You're gonna have to fight for it! On the next pay-per-view, October 18, you two are gonna battle it out for the WWF Championship...
:'''Jim Ross''': That's at Judgment Day in three weeks...
:'''McMahon''': ...whether you like it or not. And by the way, since you can't seem to keep Stone Cold out of your business and mine, good, I'm gonna put him in it. Austin is gonna be the guest referee.
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my God in heaven.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?
:'''Jim Ross''': Austin will referee Kane and the Undertaker at Judgment Day.
:'''McMahon''': And Stone Cold, Austin, I just hope that somewhere, your cellmate is telling you all of this right about now, because I wanna be there to watch him suffer the indignity of having to count one of you two monsters to the WWF Championship.
:'''Lawler''': Can you imagine that?
:'''McMahon''': However, so that everyone in this arena is not cheated, so that everyone at home watching ''Raw'' gets their money's worth, that in this ring tonight, you will see Undertaker and Kane in a handicap tag-team match, against three individuals...
:'''Jim Ross''': Three?
:'''McMahon''': ...Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and The Rock!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh yeah! Shamrock, Mankind, The Rock against the Undertaker and Kane here tonight live.
:'''McMahon''': And maybe, just maybe you could get it right, I'd like to wish you the best of luck. You know why? I think you two are gonna need it because as far as I'm concerned, it's like dealing with the handicapped. One's physical ''[referring to Kane]'' and the other is mental ''[referring to Undertaker]''. Good luck to you both.
:''[Undertaker grabs McMahon.]''
:'''Undertaker''': You need to watch your ass, because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, ''you're'' gonna be the one handicapped, and that I will promise.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Kane has just set up Mr. McMahon on the steel steps and Undertaker has the top two steps]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh no, holding the ankle and the knee across the steps...Undertaker ''[sees Taker raising the steps]'' NO NO NO!! ''[Taker kayfabe smashes steps on McMahon's left shin]'' OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! ''[Taker leaves Vince reeling from the pain]'' Vince McMahon's leg's gotta be shattered now!!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Don't move it, don't move it!
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon writhing in pain, at the hands of the two men that will meet for the WWF title in the Rosemont Horizon at Judgment Day with Steve Austin as the referee!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[sad and concerned]'' How could this happen, J.R.? McMahon didn't mean it when he called them handicapped! CALL A DOCTOR!!!!
:'''Pat Patterson''': ''[over JR's commentary as he helps Vince]'' ...I can't believe it, those dirty bastards, they BROKE HIS LEG! Get somebody out here!
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon, McMahon needs an ambulance. Well, you better not move him! My God, what else can happen here?

===October 5===
:'''Nurse''': ''[to Mr. McMahon]'' It looks just fine to me. ''[to a doctor]'' How about you, doctor?
:'''Steve Austin''': ''[disguising as a doctor]'' I'll take it from here, nurse.
:'''Vince McMahon''': NO!
:''[Austin attacks Vince McMahon.]''
:'''McMahon''': Get him off me! Get him off me!!
:'''Austin''': ''[mumbles as he strips off Vince's shirt]'' How about your foot? ''[attacks Vince McMahon's injured ankle, on a cast at the foot of the bed. McMahon shrieks in pain]'' What do you think about that? 
:''[Austin slams Vince McMahon with a bedpan, and he falls off the bed]''
:'''Austin''': Calling Dr. Austin--Get up, you piece of trash. Get up, you piece of sh- ''[manhandles Vince back to bed]'' Calling Dr Austin we got a emergency!
:'''McMahon''': No, NOO!! 
:'''Austin''': ''[sets up defibrillator]'' Everybody clear ''[shocks Vince and stoomps on him on the floor]''
:'''McMahon''': ''[as Austin bends him over the bed and he gets an enema-like device connected to an IV drip]'' No! No please no!! No, help me, please!
:'''Austin''': I've always known you were full of shit, Vince. You just bow down. This is gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt me! ''[kayfabe jams device up Vince's butt. Vince screams loudly]'' You piece of trash!

===October 12===
:''[A cement truck appears.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': What the hell is that?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What is that?
:'''Jim Ross''': Is that...?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': It's a cement truck, and it's Stone Cold Steve Austin driving it.
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my. Stone Cold Steve Austin is in the building.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What is that idiot doing? We've seen him driving a Zamboni, now he's driving around a cement truck?
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh folks, this is going to get real interesting. The Rattlesnake is here. Is that going to make Mr. McMahon happy or not? We'll find out next.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Stone Cold, what the hell are you doing? A cement truck?
:'''Steve Austin''': You heard it. I've got an open invitation, so I don't know what you're worked up about. But what I will tell you, if I wanted to get that one-legged bastard, Vince McMahon, and tell him to get his ass out here, because what I'm going to do might create a bit of interest in the McMahon side of the family. Now get your ass out here because I've got some work to do and I want to check my equipment out.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Steve Austin is driving a cement truck toward Vince McMahon's Corvette.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': Wait a minute.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': I knew it JR. He's trying to drive it right in here, then get ready to run. He'll run over us.
:'''Jim Ross''': Wait a minute, there's...
:'''Lawler''': Hey, wait a minute, don't run over Mr. McMahon's Corvette.
:'''Ross''': I don't think he's... ''[sees Austin setting up the mixer's metal trough on the car]'' it doesn't look like he's going to run over it.
:'''Lawler''': Wait a minute!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God, I don't believe this.
:'''Lawler''': You can't do that!
:'''Ross''': I do not believe this, ladies and gentlemen.
:'''Lawler''': Mr. McMahon! Mr. McMahon!
:'''Ross''': That's one of the Corvettes in Mr. McMahon's collection.
:'''Lawler''': That's a $50,000 car! No! J.R.! ''[cement mixture is poured into the car]'' NOOOO!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God! Oh my! Austin is loading McMahon's car with cement.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[watching it on the monitor]'' That's my Corvette!!!!
:'''Ross''': McMahon's car is being loaded with cement.
:'''Lawler''': Oh my God!
:''[The cement mix overflows, breaking the car's side and rear windows.]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': McMahon's prized Corvette, one of his collection, is being destroyed by the Rattlesnake.
:'''Lawler''': NOOOO!
:'''Ross''': The Rattlesnake has struck. ''[Austin leaves cement truck]'' And it looks like... Austin is coming our way.
:'''Lawler''': Somebody call the cops!!!
:'''Ross''': Austin is heading our way. The Rattlesnake, will he be here next?
:'''Lawler''': 911!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Steve Austin''': First off, I'd like to thank Mr. McMahon for the invitation here tonight. Well, I apologize to you, because I guess it must have been some mistake in the address that went to Austin 3:16 Construction Company. See, what you did, Vince, you screwed Stone Cold Steve Austin. Hell, son, it's easy to see that you submitted your own damn fate. Because you can rest assured that Stone Cold Steve Austin — as long as he's here right in the World Wrestling Federation and as long as you're here, too — I will make your life a living hell, and that's all I got to say about that! As far as this Sunday goes, Stone Cold Steve Austin, special referee... Hell, I'll be glad to put the striped shirt on, because I think I'd make a damn good referee for this match. If you think Stone Cold Steve Austin would make a damn good referee, give me a hell yeah! ''[audience reacts]'' I'll tell you this: After those two big bastards beat the living hell out of each other, you can bet your ass, that the only hand Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna hold up is my own.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?
:'''Steve Austin''': And the thing about this, Vince, there ain't a damn thing that you can do about it. ''[at the stage, Vince McMahon appears in a wheelchair]'' Awww... Go ahead and hurl your little ass down here!
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[Big Boss Man and two police K9s and their handlers appear]'' As you were saying?
:'''Jerry Lawler''': There you go.
:'''Vince McMahon''': Stick it! Get him! Stick it! Get him!!! ''[Austin tries to rush Vince but stops when the dogs reach out short of him]'' Yeah come on, Austin! That's it! Yeah, come on! Come on!! ''[Austin flips off at him]'' I hope you're proud of yourself yeah, that's it, I hope you're real proud. What gives you the right to destroy other people's property? What gives you the right to pour concrete in one of my Corvettes? That was part of a collection and now you've ruined it! I just hope that the Stone Cold Steve Austin Construction Company gives you a pair of boots 'cause you're gonna need 'em tonight, let me tell you that! You're gonna need 'em, because you're gonna be wrestling in that ring tonight. Yeah, but you're not gonna be wrestling by yourself, oh no! I've got a partner picked out for you: the so-called People's Champion, The Rock!
:'''Jim Ross''': Austin and The Rock together?
:'''Vince McMahon''': Yeah, that's the good news — if there is any good news. The bad news is that you and The Rock will be facing two individuals that I hope annihilate each other this Sunday. You'll be facing The Undertaker and Kane! ''[audience pop]'' 
:'''Jim Ross''': Right here tonight live, Austin and The Rock against The Undertaker and Kane.
:'''Vince McMahon''': I also hope that the Austin 3:16 Construction Company is gonna provide you with a real good rear-view mirror, because I think some time tonight, you're gonna have to have eyes in the back of your head. I think, of all I've been through, these last two weeks — And I admit, my life has been a living hell. I admit—''[miffed at &quot;Asshole!&quot; chants]'' WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?
:'''Austin''': I don't know how good your hearing is, but you got about 15,000 people calling you an asshole! ''[audience pop]''
:'''McMahon''': Over the last two weeks — it all started after you lost the WWF title, and you recklessly and carelessly drove that Zamboni at full speed into the arena — YOU DIDN'T CARE WHO YOU RAN OVER as long as you got to me! ''[anguished]'' And then from there, you got to me, alright. And after you did — And because of you, The Undertaker and Kane crushed my ankle. ''[gestures to ankle]'' It's crushed! I may never, ever again, play another polo match. I may never again ride a horse, ever. I may never again compete in an athletic event, and I hold you responsible!
:And then, in the hospital, last week — my god! My head is still ringing from being struck in the cranium by that big metal bed pan.
:'''Jim Ross''': Bed pan McMahon.
:'''McMahon''': My nervous system is still in shock over that defibrillation. And my rectal area, ''[cringes at recalling the moment]'' when you stuck... YOU VIOLATED ME, AUSTIN! YOU VIOLATED ME! That damn open hospital gown — Let me tell you something: As much humiliation have I had ''[corrects himself]'' that I have suffered, you're gonna suffer more and I'll tell you where, and I'll tell you when. It'll be this Sunday and it'll be in Chicago. Let me tell you something: If you don't raise the hand of the new World Wrestling Federation champion and humble yourself before me, then read my lips: I promise you, I GUARANTEE YOU, Austin, if you don't raise the hand of a new WWF champion, this Sunday, on the spot, I WILL FIRE YOUR ASS!
:'''Jim Ross''': Good God.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Woh. He guaranteed it.
:'''Austin''': You stupid bastard, you ain't got the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''McMahon''': ''[irked]'' I don't have the balls? I've got balls the size of grapefruits! And this Sunday, you're gonna be picking the seeds out of your teeth, because, Austin, you will be humbled! I guarantee it! One way or the other — the easy way: you raise the hand of a champion. The hard way: I PUBLICLY, I GUARANTEE, I WILL ''[points at Austin with every word] '''FIRE YOUR ASS THIS SUNDAY!''''' Hit the music!
:''[Vince McMahon leaves.]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': He meant it, JR. He guaranteed it.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'll tell you one thing. When McMahon guaranteed that Austin would lose the WWF title, it happened. And now McMahon has guaranteed that if Stone Cold Steve Austin does not humble himself and raise the hand of a new WWF Champion this Sunday on pay-per-view, that Austin will be fired right on the spot.

===October 19===
:''[all WWF Superstars are assembled in and around the ring for an address from Mr. McMahon]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': May I have your attention, please?! ''[crowd chants &quot;Asshole!&quot;]'' May I have your attention? I have a very important announcement to make as relates to the World Wrestling Federation Championship. As a result of an individual who is no longer gainfully employed here in the World Wrestling Federation, we have no World Wrestling Federation champion, as we speak. However, I assure you, that on the night of November 15 at the Survivor Series—as a matter of fact, I guarantee you... oh oh, there goes that word again: I guarantee you! Nonetheless, I guarantee you that on November 15 at the end of that evening we will have an undisputed WWF Champion, because on that night, at the Survivor Series, 16 WWF Superstars will compete in a one-night tournament to determine just who will be the next undisputed WWF Champion.

:Now, as far as some of the events of last night are concerned: Seems as though some of you are in a state of shock, some of you are in a state of disbelief. ''[more 'Asshole!' chants]'' If I am, I'm damn proud of it! Some of you are certainly in a state of shock as—'Did Vince McMahon really fire Stone Cold Steve Austin last night?' Well, for the benefit of those of you who did not join us on pay-per-view, last night at Judgment Day—how appropriate: Judgment Day! Let me repeat the words I said to Stone Cold Steve Austin: 'Austin, screw you! You're fired!' How did Austin take this news? Well, I show you how he took this news, on the TitanTron; if you'll direct your attention, someone from the production will put up a freeze frame of Stone Cold Steve Austin's face. And as soon as Stone Cold heard those words, Stone Cold had that look on his face. ''[gloats about the shot]'' A look of disbelief! He couldn't believe he had just been fired. Austin, as a matter of fact, started mumbling about something about hunting season or going hunting—I didn't know what he meant until this morning someone told me that rumor was, Austin was indeed hunting. He was hunting for a job!

:Austin, if you ever come into a World Wrestling Federation arena again, then you'll do so just like this capacity crowd: You'll have to buy a ticket, Austin! ''[more 'Asshole!' chants]'' So, what did it feel like? Many of you are saying to yourself, 'My God, what's it like to be Vince McMahon? What's it like to have the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin?' I really wondered. I wondered if Austin provoked me, how I would feel. And last night I searched. And last night, when I fired Austin, I'll admit it felt pretty damn good. At the end of the evening, after asking that question again, I was convinced it felt great. And then, this morning—you know, when you look into that mirror, bright and early, when you first get up, that soul-searching—Alright, Vince McMahon, how did you feel after firing Stone Cold Steve Austin? You know what it felt like to me this morning? IT WAS BETTER THAN SEX!

:Which brings me as to why each and everyone of you stand before me as WWF Superstars. Hopefully, you all learned the lesson that Stone Cold learned last night. Hopefully, no one in that ring will EVER cross the boss, because none of you are as big as Vince McMahon! You know, all that Austin 3:16 paraphernalia out there, T-shirts, what have you? Another rumor going around... that it's going like hotcakes, because now Austin 3:16—that's a collector's item, you see! Now there's a new expression. A new expression that's gonna be sweeping the nation, sweeping the globe; and that's McMahon 3:16... And McMahon 3:16 says, &quot;I've got the brass to fire your ass.&quot; Thank you very much! Thank you, Gentlemen! ''[freeze frame shot of Austin turns into live shot of Austin at his truck, in hunting camouflage bringing his rifle and bow set]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Paul Bearer and Undertaker appear one day after they turned on Kane]''
:'''Undertaker''': As you can plainly see, there has been a reconciliation made. Brother, Paul has come home to lead my Ministry of Darkness. And I'm sure that there is those who can't understand because they have no vision how I could align myself once more with such a despicable, evil, maniacal individual. Well if those aren't reasons enough, I don't guess I can explain it any better. What we have, is someone with vision. Someone who truly understands the power of darkness. He allowed me to clear my head and refocus on what it is I'm here for. Now what we have is a beginning of a new era. And we will unleash with our Ministry of Darkness, a plague for which the World Wrestling Federation has never seen, nor will it be ever understood amongst those who do not relish in the darkness. So now, those of you, who do not declare, shall be declared!
:'''Paul Bearer''': Kane, I used you boy. Ever since you were a little child, I took care of you like a pet, like a put dog on a leash. Just for special occasions, yes I used you, because you're stupid! You're weak! You can't even speak for yourself! You turned your back on me twice. The first time was 8 weeks ago, the last time was last night boy! You could never understand the darkness Kane, that's why I'll never have any use for you again.
:'''Undertaker''': You know Kane, I know there is a thought that's been burning in your mind for years. You really wanna know what happened the day you caught on fire? Well listen, and listen close: '''I set that fire!''' And I set it because you were weak as a child, and you are weak now. And we have no room for the weak. Only the strong shall survive.
:''[Kane comes with a casket, looks like he is going to challenge Undertaker]''
:'''Kane''': You and I... tonight... casket match! And brother... you will... REST IN PEACE!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Having held Vince McMahon hostage all night long, Austin ups the ante with a toy revolver that reads BANG 3:16]''
:'''Austin''': You've got to remember, Vince, it wasn't Stone Cold that screwed Vince McMahon, it was Vince McMahon that screwed Vince McMahon. ''[notices pants]'' I think you've got a problem there. Looks like we've got another shirt out on the way. That shirt might just say, &quot;McMahon 3:16 says, 'I just pissed my pants.'&quot;

===October 26===
:''[Vince McMahon appears with his lawyers, Sgt Slaughter and the stooges plus Big Boss Man]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Against, against my volition, Stone Cold Steve Austin is here in this arena, tonight. Not only do I hold Stone Cold Steve Austin responsible for every single, reprehensible act he committed against me, I want all of you people to know, that I hold ''[points to audience] each and every one of you'' responsible as well! My God, what's the matter with you people? I've lost all faith in humanity! Where the hell are your values? Where are your morals!? Whatever happened to the Good Samaritan? Where were you in my hour of need? I'll tell you where you were: you were cheering for every act of humiliation Austin committed against me! You savored every violation, every liberty that Austin took against me, but what you enjoyed the most was when Austin forced me to go to the ring. He made me get down on my knees, he made me beg! He made me... ''[saddened]'' he made me cry! He made me urinate myself! ''[angry]'' And where were you? Where were any of you? No one came to my aid. ''[to stooges]'' Not you, Brisco! Not you Patterson, or the Commissioner, no one. My ankle has been reinjured, I've ruined a perfectly good Armani suit. I hurt all over. But most of all, my feelings have been hurt. They have been crushed, but despite the injury, the insult Austin, after the injury I will never ever forgive you for! That wasn't a letter of introduction you jammed down in my coat pocket oh no, that was a legal document Austin and you know damn well then it was a legal document, and with this battery of attorneys I have behind me, Austin, I will fight you. I will fight you in court if I can, hell I'll fight you all the way to the Supreme Court! Austin, before you make your next move, you better take stock in what I say.
:'''Steve Austin''': ''[appears on TitanTron]'' Well speaking of stock, here am I. I've been stocking Pampers diapers, in case the bastard pisses all over himself! You know what I mean!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Shane McMahon appears as Vince fumes at Austin being employed in the WWF with a new contract and ignores his calls to join him on the stage]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': I don't listen to you anymore. I am an officer, more importantly, a stockholder of this company, and what you did to Stone Cold Steve Austin was wrong, Dad. You were wrong.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[to the stooges]'' He's just a kid, he's just a kid!
:'''Shane''': I just wanted to tell you personally that it was me. It was ''me'', Dad, that hired Stone Cold back. Dad, it was me!... Hey, I guess I finally have your attention now, don't I? After 28 years, I FINALLY have your attention. I've seen superstars come, and I've seen superstars go, and why, Dad, why? Because it's always been about your ego! You said it yourself: no one's bigger than Vince McMahon, oh no! All my life, people have asked me, 'Boy, what's it like to be Vince McMahon's son? Wow, isn't that great?' And I have lied year after year after year... ''[gets more emotional]'' to protect you, to protect our family name. Well, the lying stops now! I'm tired of it!... You never cared about me! Everything—I couldn't do anything right for you. Nothing is ever right. My grades in school were never good enough for you. 
:'''Vince''': ''[in tears]'' Yes they were!
:'''Shane''': My athletic accomplishments were never good enough for you. My business deals—no matter how much money I made you—was never good enough for YOU! The only thing I ever wanted from you, the only thing I ever wanted, is for you to be proud of me. OF ME! But I finally figured it out: That's never ever gonna happen, because it's never been about me, it's been about you. YOU, DAD! ''[Vince closes his eyes and grimaces because Shane struck a raw nerve]'' It's always about perception. Perception. Ever since, I'm always known as Vince's boy. 'How does Vince's boy make him look?' It wasn't about me, it was about how I made you look, that perception, at your big corporate parties.
:'''Vince''': ''[saddened]'' You're my son—
:'''Shane''': Yeah, I'm your son, but I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm a man and I stand in this ring as a man. I'm no longer your boy, Dad. I'm proud of who I am. I am proud of the person I have become. My name is Shane McMahon, and for 28 years—for 28 years I've finally built up enough courage to face you here today, to stand up to YOU! I guess, now you have something to be proud of me about, don't you Dad? Because I finally stood up to you and I had the BRASS to do it!... Isn't it ironic? I guess, I'm just like you after all, isn't that right, Dad?!? ''[tosses mic back to Austin as Vince rebuffs Pat Patterson trying to comfort him]''
:'''Steve Austin''': If you think Vince got what he had comin', gimme a hell yeah.
:'''Audience''': HELL YEAH!!

===November 2===
:''[A wheelchair-bound Vince McMahon has just made Mankind promise he won't interfere in an upcoming match between Ken Shamrock and the Rock and has something for him]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': I have it for you. ''[takes off black sheet]'' This is the WWF Hardcore Championship belt, and Mick, you've earned it. You've earned it. ''[Big Boss Man moves away to open a door]''
:'''Mankind''': ''[accepts title and laughs]'' I love it! ''[kisses belt]'' I gotta be honest with you, I love it!
:'''Vince''': Just one thing. In some respects, I think I lost a son tonight... ''[puts hand on Mankind's shoulder]'' maybe I gained another.
:'''Mankind''': Really? ''[Vince drives off]'' Gee thanks, Dad. ''[Vince stops, visibly irked. Leaves]''

===November 16===
:''[Vince McMahon addresses the crowd]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Thank you for that warm Kentucky reception! Last night at the Survivor Series, my son Shane and I proved that whoever it was that said 'you can't fool all of the people all of the time' was a damn fool. A damned fool is someone who insists on doing things the hard way. A damned fool is someone who embraces middle class ethics and values. And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone who doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass. Now now now wait a minute, now don't tell me all of you don't kiss the boss' ass, I know you do, you probably don't just kiss it enough! Right now, I would like to introduce you to someone who certainly is no damn fool, oh no, he's not the People's Champion, he never was; he's always been MY Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Champion - the CORPORATE Champion - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROCK! ''[The Rock comes to the ring]'' Ladies and gentlemen, listen up to the Rock!
:'''The Rock''': You know Mr. McMahon, all day long the Rock's phone has been ringin' off the hook, and the message has been clear. Why Rock? Why did you sell out? Well, actually, the Rock never sold out - the Rock just... got ahead. Now, will some of you call the Rock a kissass? Well I'm sure you will, because quite frankly, you are all unintelligent pieces of trailer park trash - do you smell it? Now, you pieces of trash - you work your candyasses off day after day after day, 9 to 5, for minimum wage. Well, the Rock did what the Rock had to do to get to the top of the World and that is him standing smack dab in the middle of the Corporate ring, your WWF World Champion!
:Now, sure, you pieces of trash, you work hard, you do what you have to do, day after day, and quite frankly, you're all no different from a big piece - the biggest piece of trailer park trash in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, I'll tell you what, you and Austin, you can have your morality, you can have your honesty, you can have your blood... you can have your blood, your sweat and your tears, I'll tell you what, all that hard work, fifty cents couldn't buy you a cup of redneck coffee. Now: 'Die Rocky Die.' 'Rocky Sucks?' 
:You see, the Rock NEVER, EVER forgot that, and he's gonna damn sure make sure that you NEVER, EVER forget it as well. You see what the Rock plans on doin' is he plans on raisin' the Peop- oh, I'm sorry, he plans on raisin' the Corporate Eyebrow, he plans on planting ya with the Rock Bottom, and the Rock damn sure plans on layin' the smack down on your candy ass with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, the Corporate Elbow. Now, the Rock said that he would rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss his. But now, the Rock says, he would much rather kiss Mr. McMahon's ass than to EVER, and the Rock means EVER, kiss yours if you smell what the Rock is cooking!

===November 23===
:''[The Undertaker and Paul Bearer are setting up a sedated Stone Cold Steve Austin to be embalmed alive]''
:'''The Undertaker''': ''[to Austin as Paul Bearer patches him up]'' I hope that you could hear me, because what you're about to experience is the worst imaginable pain and horror that you could ever endure. You see there, Austin? When one understands it, they become ageless. They become deathless. They become immortal!! ''[begins sacrificial oration]'' Satana, badala, anda ov satana ''[picks up trocar and prepares to stab Austin]'' Satana, nadala, anail, nathrak, dorthnei, diednei ''[knock on door and Paul Bearer answers]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': ''[sees who it is]'' Kane!!!

=== December 7 ===
:''[Austin comes to ring with everyone's cheer]''
:'''Steve Austin''': For the last few months, here in the World Wrestling Federation, with the title or without, Vince McMahon has seen fit to throw everything that he can at Stone Cold Steve Austin and somehow I've always managed to scrape by. That's all fine and well, but six days from now at Rock Bottom in a Buried Alive match, in my opinion, the stakes are stacked higher than they've ever been for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Undertaker, you come out here, talk about sacrificing me, about wanting my soul, you hit me in the head with a shovel, you tried to bury me, you tried to embalm me and none of that worked... in the Ministry of Stone Cold Steve Austin, at Rock Bottom, you can bet your ass that you can expect no mercy from Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that's all I got to say about that!
:''[Lights get closed and Undertaker's theme song plays as a TX symbol appears in front of the screen]''
:'''Undertaker''': ''[voiceover]'' Austin, we've traveled down the highway to hell, and our journey has enlightened us on a few matters. One, you're helpless against my Ministry, and the other is I can take your rotting soul any time I wish. Tonight, our journey stops in your purgatory, where you will remain until Rock Bottom, and on that night boy, I will sacrifice you to the Ministry of Darkness and let the entire world watch you get buried alive and BURN IN HELL!
:''[The symbol gets burned by a storm, as Austin is a little scared]''

=== December 28 ===
:'''Val Venis''': Hello, ladies! You know something? For the next couple of days, ''[points to right leg]'' this leg will be known as Christmas, and ''[points to left leg]'' this leg will be known as New Years. So ladies, why don't y'all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays.

== 1999 ==
=== January 4 ===
:''[The Rock is livid that Vince caved to Mankind's demand for a WWF title match just to spare Shane from a broken shoulder]''
:'''The Rock''': I'm the damn champ. How could you just give in so damn easy? Regardless of who it is, I'm not even ready, the Rock doesn't have his clothes, he got nothing... ''[Shane and Vince talk over him]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': He nearly broke my left shoulder.
:'''Vince McMahon''': It's my son, dammit! 
:'''The Rock''': The Rock doesn't have his clothes. I'm the champ and then now all of a sudden, I gotta face Mankind?!
:'''Vince''': It's my son!!
:'''The Rock''': I know it's your damn son but dammit I...
:'''Vince''': ''[as they all walk to the backstage]'' Go get ready, you're a champion! C'mon, get ready, you're a champion!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the No-Disqualification WWF Championship match]''
:'''Michael Cole''': DX and the Corporate Team are going at it!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Look out! ''[Glass shatters]'' What?! Oh no!
:'''Cole''': Stone Cold is here! Stone Cold is here!
:'''Lawler''': Look out, Mr. McMahon! The Rattlesnake is here!
:''[Austin enters the ring and nails The Rock on the head with a chair]''
:'''Cole''': Stone Cold with a chair! ''[Austin drapes Mankind on top of The Rock]'' He pulled Mankind on The Rock!
:'''Lawler''': ''[as Hebner counts]'' No! No! ''[Three count]'' Don't do it! ''[arena erupts]''
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Mankind!
:'''Lawler''': ''[over the announcement]'' Oh my God, no!
:'''Cole''': Mankind did it! Mick Foley did it!
:'''Lawler''': No, Stone Cold did it!
:'''Cole''': Mankind has achieved his dream, and the dream of everyone else who's been told, &quot;you can't do it&quot;!
:'''Lawler''': No! You can't do it! You can't do this!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mankind''': At the risk of not sounding very cool, I'd like to dedicate this match to my two little people at home and say...BIG DADDIO DID IT!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': This is the blackest day in the history of the WWF!!

=== January 11 ===
:''[The Acolytes look on, waiting for &quot;He&quot; and having Dennis Knight ready for him; The Undertaker comes to stage and sits to his throne]''
:'''Undertaker''': They lay me down in a grave as if it would be my final resting place.... filling it with the Earth's rotting soil. They tried to destroy me, wishing I would just go away. But what is it? What have they really done? The simple minds of mortal men... they sent me back to the place that is my origin. Destroy me? The more they try, the more powerful I've become. And now, I've risen from my Earthy grave and I will slay the ones I once saved. The reckoning is upon us. The day that the Ministry of Darkness seizes the land, destroys all that you hold dear, make play things our of your heroes and devours your innocence. The plague of darkness is coming; an all encompassing evil from which there is no escape, no mercy, no hope. Its called the future. And in the future, I will look down upon thee and I will decide whether you are an Agent of Darkness, or are you just mere kindling for my fires. The Power of Darkness shall be offered only to a chosen few. And those that resist the temptations of my Ministry, pain becomes synonymous with punishment. Embrace the Darkness and relish in the unearthly delight that pain has to offer. Resist and there are no limits to the torment you subject yourself to. Don't fight it. It will tear your soul apart. So let my servants be few and secret. They shall rule the many and the known, for I am the Reaper of men, the Chaser of souls, the Weaver of nightmares. I am the Heart of Darkness. I am now and ever will be the Purity of Evil. The Hell you were threatened with as a child is no longer an option. It is a reality, a living, breathing reality and you are all right in the middle of it. Yes, Hell has relocated to Earth.
:''[He comes to Knight, touches him, cuts his wrist and fills cup with his blood]''
:'''Undertaker''': From this moment on, you are no longer Dennis Knight. You are Mideon. Now drink.
:''[Knight, or Mideon, drinks Undertaker's blood, Taker gets Knight's cloth open and draws his symbol to Knight's chest with a knife, goes in front of his throne]''
:'''Undertaker''': Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark and you will learn why.
:''[Undertaker's symbol gets burned by a storm]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Chyna appears as the last Corporate Rumble entry but Vince McMahon is distracted by Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[sees Chyna]'' We got problems! Watch out, watch out ''[as Chyna rolls Vince over the top rope]'' WATCH OUT!!
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[as Shane repeatedly screams NO! seeing Vince whiplashed and sprawled from the bottom rope]'' There goes the draw! Chyna wins the Corporate Rumble! Chyna is No 30 in the Royal Rumble!
:'''Lawler''': Mr McMahon has been eliminated by a woman!!
:'''Cole''': Austin made sure that he meets Mr McMahon first at the Rumble!
:'''Shane McMahon''': Austin you'll pay!!!! Austin you're gonna pay at the Rumble!
:'''Cole''': Steve Austin and Mr McMahon are gonna be one on one at the Rumble.
:'''McMahon''': I HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!!!
:'''Cole''': Mr McMahon is No 2. Stone Cold is No 1..
:'''McMahon''': How can Chyna be No 30?!?
:'''Cole''': The Rattlesnake has struck again.
:'''McMahon''': Austin will pay for this, I tell you that!

=== February 15 ===
:''[The Ministry of Darkness come to the ring]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': You don't hear the fat man talk too much these days unless I have something very important to say, so I suggest you listen. And you - owner of the World Wrestling Federation, Vincent K. McMahon - bring your butt off that pedestal that you built for yourself and listen to the Lord of Darkness.
:'''Undertaker''': McMahon, in time, your World Wrestling Federation will belong to me. One by one, they will all fall before my Ministry. Last night, the Bossman received just a small sample of the power I possess. Last night, Bossman, we let you go. Next time, you won't be so lucky. What we did, Mr. McMahon, is we went to the heart and soul of your Corporation and we took him out. Just to let you know that we can take anybody, any time we desire. And there's not a damn thing that you can do about it. Now I'm sure you're asking yourself, Mr. McMahon, how can I be so confident? How can I succeed when all others have failed? It's simple. '''I own the key to your heart, and your soul'''. While you were preoccupied with your petty obsessions, I have amassed an army. An army that will destroy you and your corporation. Each soul that we take, we take in the name of a far greater power than even myself. And in that power's name, in its grandest vision, in its grandest dream, and in my Ministry's destiny, I will own the World Wrestling Federation.
:''[Big Bossman appears, who got attacked by the Ministry previous night]''
:'''Big Bossman''': You want some of me? You want some of the Big Bossman? I don't think so. I'm not hard to find. You got aspirations, taking over the Corporation? No way, pal. Bottomline is, if you got the guts, let's get it started here tonight. Any three of you punks against me, two of my guys, tonight. You know what I mean. Undertaker, it's just a matter of time, punk, I'm gonna stick my foot up your dead ass!
:''[Bossman leaves the stage]''
:'''Undertaker''': You know, you should be more careful what you ask for.

=== February 22 ===
:''[The Undertaker appears on the titantron]''
:'''Undertaker''': The battle has been joined. My agents of darkness are poised to unleash my reign of terror on the World Wrestling Federation. All in the name of my master. McMahon, you think you have problems with Austin. Oh, but your problems, they've just begun. And the audacity. Do you think you can actually eliminate me with an Inferno Match? Don't you realize there's some flames that can't be extinguished? And the Lord of Darkness is one of them. Soon McMahon, you will realize that I am your worst nightmare. And by the way, tonight, I intend on showing you just how serious I am with my threat. Tonight, if you like, you can even call it a surprise. McMahon, the World Wrestling Federation will be mine.

=== March 22 ===
:''[Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and the Rock have just been given a beer bath by Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[seeing Vince totally drenched]'' Look at Mr McMahon. That's a $3,000 suit!
:'''Michael Cole''': It ''was'' a $3,000 suit!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Billy Gunn''': Tonight is the night when the New Age Outlaws see who is the best of the best. You see, it's called competitiveness, and that's what made the New Age Outlaws what they are today—the best tag team to ever step foot in the World Wrestling Federation. But tonight, Mr. Ass is walking out with the Intercontinental Title and the Hardcore Title. Sorry.
:'''Road Dogg''': Well, don't be sorry, because the D-O-double-G lives his life all or nothing, and tonight he's gonna walk away with A-double-L. So Mr. A-double-crooked-letter, I'll see your ass at ringside.
:'''Gunn''': ''[sotto voce]'' Yep, and you'll walk out with nothing like when I found you.

===April 26===

:''[Vince is asking Stone Cold Steve Austin to deliver the WWF's ownership papers personally to the Undertaker as ransom for Stephanie McMahon, but Austin is not quite convinced of his sincerity]''

:'''Vince McMahon''': I don't mean to interrupt, but, I guess maybe I do. This is not easy for me, but...what I'm trying to say...to make a long story short, I need your help.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': You said— You said what? You need my help? Is that what you said?
:'''Vince McMahon''': I need your help. The Undertaker has my daughter, Stephanie, and I need your help.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': You got to clear this up exactly for me. What are you trying to say? Just go ahead and say something, 'cause you ain't making no sense.
:'''Vince McMahon''': Well...this isn't— It's not anything personal. I know that you don't like me and I know you never will.

:''[Austin nods in agreement mouthing 'Right!']''

:'''Vince McMahon''': And the feeling is somewhat mutual, but...it's not about you and me. This is personal and it involves my daughter Stephanie. And Steve, you can help me.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': With all due respect, to you and your little daughter— Hell, son, I've got a million problems of my own. So as far as I'm concerned, I really don't give a rat's ass about your problems.
:'''Vince McMahon''': But Steve, The Undertaker has made...he's made some demands. He's asked for some documentation and that's all right with me, I don't care about the documentation. But he's made ''other'' demands. He's demanded that, instead of me delivering the documentation to him, he's demanded that ''you'' deliver that documentation to him, and if you do that I really believe that everything will be fine with my daughter Stephanie, and I think you can understand from my point of view as a father.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': What you're saying is— What you're saying is Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin! That's what you're saying?

:''[Vince nods sheepishly]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': So if that's true...if that is true that Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin, then that's what I want you to say to me. Say it to me: &quot;Vince McMahon ''needs'' Stone Cold Steve Austin.&quot;
:'''Vince McMahon''': Vince McMahon ''needs'' Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': That all sounds real good Vince, but hell, you must think that I have a real horrible memory because the last ''15 months'', every single night I come to work, you see fit to put my life, make my life a living hell, and I will give you credit, you have done one helluva job.

:''[Vince is dejected]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Stone Cold Steve Austin never forgets one single thing that happens right here in the World Wrestling Federation. So...since Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin, I'll say this. By the same token, Stone Cold Steve Austin ''needs'' Vince McMahon... 

:''[Vince seems optimistic]''

:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': ...''to kiss his ass'', and that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!!

:''[a saddened Vince walks away]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[the Ministry of Darkness prepares Stephanie McMahon to be married to the Undertaker - even as she screams away and the Undertaker touches her]''
:'''Paul Bearer''': Dearly unbeloved, we gather here this evening to join Stephanie Marie McMahon, in the unholy wedlock with the Lord of Darkness. Tonight, Stephanie Marie McMahon will step from the light of this evil, cesspool, mortal world, into the sanctuary of eternal darkness. Keeping this in mind, will you, Stephanie Marie McMahon accept the purity of evil and take the Lord of Darkness as your master and your spouse?
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': No! NOOO!!!
:''[Ken Shamrock tries to get in but the Acolytes hold him down to be squashed by Viscera]''
:'''Bearer''': Lord of Darkness, is it your intent to accept Stephanie Marie McMahon, her body, her mind, her soul, and even her breath unto yourself, ''[Taker lightly reaches for her neck]'' and allow her to bear your offspring?
:'''Stephanie''': NOOO!!!!
:'''Undertaker''': I do. 
:''[the Big Show appears and breaks through the Acolytes and Viscera - but Undertaker gets Shamrock's baseball bat and hits him off the ring]''
:'''Bearer''': By the power vested in me by the Lord of Darkness, I now pronounce you as the Unholy Union of Darkness. You may now kiss your bride!

=== May 24 (RAW Is Owen) ===

:'''The Godfather''': You know what, Road Dogg? Instead of me and you just kicking the hell out of each other, especially today, why don't me and you and these fine hos over here...we go to downtown St. Louis and we light it up all night long?
:'''Road Dogg''': What do you say, me and you go burn one and tell some Owen stories.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Billy Gunn''': If you're not down with Owen Hart, I got two words for ya...
:'''Crowd''': SUCK IT!

=== June 7 ===
:''[During Undertaker's WWF Championship defense against the Big Show, Taker is caught in Big Show's chokeslam coming off the top rope]''
:'''Jim Ross''': The Undertaker's on top, he got caught at the hand of the Big Show.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[as Big Show signals for the chokeslam]'' He said he was gonna do it- he's doing it!! 
:'''Ross''': The chokeslam, ''[Undertaker breaks through the ring]'' oh- 
:'''Lawler''' and '''Ross''': OH MY GOD!!!
:'''Ross''': Right through the ring!! The Big Show chokeslammed the Undertaker all the way to hell! 
:'''Lawler''': What?
:'''Ross''': ''[as Earl Hebner calls for the bell]'' All the way through the ring! They're both down!!! The Big Show and the Undertaker are both down! ''[bell still rings as Big Show kicks Undertaker before leaving the hole]'' The match is over! The match has been stopped!
:'''Lawler''': What?
:'''Ross''': The ring has been destroyed...
:'''Lawler''': Look at that!
:'''Ross''': ...by the damndest chokeslam I've ever seen!

=== August 9 ===

:'''Chris Jericho''': Welcome to ''Raw Is Jericho''! And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Chris Jericho, your new hero, your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who DO know me, well, all hail the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-a! 
:Now when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era. In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF. Thank you, thank you. And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trend-setting program has now deteriorated into a cliched, let's be honest, boring snoozefest that is in dire need of a knight in shining armor, and that's why I'm here. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF!
:Now let's go over the facts. Television ratings, downward spiral; pay-per-view buy-rates, plummeting; mainstream acceptance, non-existent; and reactions of the live crowds, complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent! You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre &quot;sports entertainers&quot; who you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering! You could care less about every single idiot in that dressing room, ''[indicating The Rock]'' and especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh. Jericho is excellence. And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy fat little hands in the air and scream &quot;Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go!&quot; Thank you.
:The new millennium has arrived in the WWF, and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company—from the front-office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one, to everybody watching tonight—will never, eeee-ee-eh-ever be the same a-gain!
:'''The Rock''': ...After three boring minutes, The Rock says, ''&quot;Know Your Role, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!&quot;'' How dare you little jabroni come on The Rock Show, and not even have the class to introduce yourself. What is your name?
:'''Chris Jericho''': I told you--
:'''The Rock''': ''IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'' The Rock says you talk about your Y2J plan? Well, The Rock has a plan of his own, and it's called the K-Y Jelly plan. Which...which means The Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good. Turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK it straight up your candy ass! If you smelllll...what The Rock...is cooking.

=== August 23 ===

:''[Outside Jeff Jarrett's locker room, where a contract for an Intercontinental Title match is taped to the door]''
:'''Billy Gunn''': Chyna, I need a favor. You got a pen? I need a pen.
:'''Chyna''': I don't have one.
:'''Billy Gunn''': All right, come here. Stay right here, don't let anybody sign this, I'll be right back, I've gotta find a pen.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[as Billy walks away]'' Hey, that...that must be Jeff Jarrett's contract.
:'''Chyna''': Okay.
:'''Jerry''': Looks like Mr. Ass wants a piece of Jeff Jarrett, he wants to sign that contract.
:'''Michael Cole''': Look! Chyna's got a pen!
:'''Jerry''': What's she doing?!
:''' Cole''': ''[as Chyna signs and runs away]'' She's signing the open contract to meet Jeff Jarrett for the Intercontinental Championship!

=== September 20===

:'''Bradshaw''': You know, these Dudley Boys come into the World Wrestling Federation trying to make a name out of themselves by taking on us. You know, they come out here and they spout their commandments. Well, we got three commandments too, it's real simple. #1—Thou shalt not drink our beer; #2—Thou shalt not mess with our [[w:Groupie|rats]]; and #3—I guess [[w:The Public Enemy (professional wrestling)|Public Enemy]] didn't tell them, Thou shalt not cut a promo on the Acolytes!

===December 20===
:''[Val Venis is in the ring for his Holiday Topless Top Rope match against Hardcore Holly]''
:'''Val Venis''': Hello Ladies!! You know something, ladies, you are a lot like Christmas trees. You know, you smell good. You're pretty to look at, but you never really feel special until I ''[makes thrusting motion]'' PLUG IT IN and light you up!

== 2000 ==
===January 24===
:''[Triple H and Stephanie gloat over him defeating Cactus Jack at the Royal Rumble, but Big Show complains to them about the Rock's cheating him out of the finish of the Royal Rumble, which would have gained him a WWF Championship match against HHH at Wrestlemania]''
:'''Triple H''': Show me the proof and it's yours. ''[The Rock entrance music kicks in and he appears]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, the Rock has come back to Philadelphia! Triple H, the Rock says this - seeing as he just won the Royal Rumble, it officially makes your days as the WWF Champion, numbered. Translation, at WrestleMania, the Rock is just gon' kick your monkey ass. ''[to Big Show as crowd chants &quot;Rocky!&quot;]'' Now, onto you. Seven feet, five hundred pounds of whinin' bitchin' moanin' ''[mock whining]'' 'Oh the Rock's feet touched the ground first ''[normal voice]'' well the Rock says it doesn't MATTER if the Rock's feet touched the ground first! The Rock says this, it doesn't matter if the Rock's feet touched the ground, it doesn't matter where the Rock's feet touched, the ground, the mat, or straight up your big fat candyass! This ain't the NFL - there is no instant replay - the only thing that matters RIGHT NOW is the Rock has won the Royal Rumble, the Rock is going to WrestleMania, and the Rock stands before ''[points at the people in the ring]'' you, and you, and even you - the People's Champion.
:'''Triple H''': You know, Show, seems that uh, you and I seem to have a little common problem. To be that jackass up there with the big ego - seems to be a common thorn on our sides. So I'll tell ya what - tonight - you and I, we're gonna team up and we're gonna get in the ring... against the Rock and a partner of your choosing. That is, if - you can go in the back and find one of those - what do you call 'em, Rock, jabronies? - that you like to put down so much. If you can get one of those jabronies to pal up with you, be your friend, and tag with you, then you got yourself a deal. If not, if one of those jabronies WON'T tag with you, then ''[to Big Show]'' you and I we're gonna have ourselves a little handicap match with the Rock.
:'''The Rock''': Well, the Rock says this - if there is someone in the back who wants to team with the Rock, then that's fine... the Rock doesn't need it, the Rock doesn't want it. The Rock says this, against you and you, two-on-one against the Great One means this, is one way or the other, come hell or high water, bet your candyasses you will smell what the Rock is ''[points to them]'' cookin'.

===January 31===
:''[JR and the King talk about the tag team championship match between Al Snow and Steve Blackman against the New Age Outlaws, but JR notices Al Snow going down to one section of the front row]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[sees Snow greet some people who just came down]'' Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute! My God, that's... that's Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What are they doing here tonight?
:'''Jim''': What the hell is going on here? Those four guys... Well, King, we know it's all over the Internet they thumbed their noses at their last employer!
:'''Jerry''': Well, I know that. They walked out on that Ted Turner organization, but what are they doing here?
:'''Jim''': I know the WWF's been negotiating with those four superstars, but they've not signed any contracts that I'm aware of.
:'''Jerry''': Well, they haven't signed any contracts yet, so maybe they're just here to... They're just sitting at ringside, maybe they're here to get a bird'ss-eye view of the competition.
:'''Jim''': Well, all I'd say that's a pretty radical strategy on their part, wouldn't you think? It was radical enough that they walked out on their last employer because it was a lousy place to be, in their opinion.
:'''Jerry''': Well that was...
:'''Jim''': ...and showing up here unannounced is nothing short of radical either.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The Rock is on the TitanTron after Big Show just defeated 2Cool]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, the Rock has come BACK to Pittsburgh! Big Show, The Rock realizes what just took place, The Rock realizes that you won a hard-fought victory, well congratulations, but The Rock has but one thing to say to you: ''[singsong]'' somebody got a haircut!! ''[Big Show angrily stomps his feet]'' So that officially means Big Show that you're no longer a long-haired, seven-feet, 500-pound piece of monkey crap, no you are not. You are a SHORT-HAIRED seven-feet, 500-pound piece of steaming, stinking, grade-A monkey crap!!! Now Big Show, you want to run your month about how you've got an eyewitness to The Rock's feet hitting the ground at the Royal Rumble, well The Rock says this: He is tired of hearing you whine. The Rock is tired of hearing you bitch, the Rock is tired of hearing you cry and moan like a baby but there is something that the Rock wants ''[open palm and points at Big Show]'' you to listen to... and that is the most important sound you will ever hear in your pathetic life, and that is all the Rock's fans chanting his name! ''[audience responds with Rocky! chants]'' Now Big Show, seeing as you've heard the sound, The Rock says, go back to [[w:Supercuts|Supercuts]] and get your five dollars back, jabroni!! Now on to our Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle the Rock says this you run your mouth about how you beat the Rock. The Rock says you have never - and The Rock means ''[audience joins for the word]'' NEVER!! Ever beaten the Rock, so the Rock says this quite simply put, the Rock says that tonight, you like to wear your gold medals, well the Rock says this, he's gonna go out there and win a gold medal for kicking your candy ass all over Pittsburgh! If you SMEEEELLLLL, What the Rock is Cooking!

===February 7===
:''[Cactus Jack faces Triple H and proposes a Hell in the Cell at No Way Out]''
:'''Triple H''': Hell in the Cell? All right - Hell in the Cell, you got a deal - but one stipulation.
:'''Cactus Jack''': You name it.
:'''Triple H''': I will go through Hell in the Cell with you - BUT I WANT YOUR CAREER ON THE LINE. If I beat you at Hell in the Cell, you are finished. You retire. Your career is over, and that means YOU, Mick Foley, which includes Dude Love, which includes Mankind, which includes Cactus Jack - you are finished - you are done - it is OVER.
:'''Cactus Jack''': So you want my career - you want my career! Well, let's talk about my career for just a minute. You know what I have done, Triple H, in my career? I have done it all! Three-time WWF Champion - eight times WWF tag team champion! The original Hardcore Champion! And the King of the Japanese Death Match! So I tell you once again Triple H - you want my career? I have done it all except for one thing - in 15 years that I have dedicated my life to this sport there is only one thing that keeps me awake at night and that is - I have never main-evented a WrestleMania in my life. So you want my career? I'm going to add one more stipulation... if I win - when I win - at Hell in the Cell - you put your title on the line, because if I can't beat you, I don't deserve - no no no, if I can't beat you, I do not WANT to ever wrestling again! But when I do, you look at me and make damn sure you understand - there will be no ridiculous stipulations - no title defenses - that's it! I win! I go to WrestleMania - and you sit home - I WIN - I take on the winner of the Big Show and the Rock... in the greatest show in our industry. You accept my stipulation, then you're damn right, I will put my entire 15-year career on the line.
:'''Triple H''': Cactus Jack, at No Way Out - Hell in the Cell - you will face The Game. And if you win, you will go to WrestleMania the World Wrestling Federation champion - the main event. But if I win, I will end your 15-year career. I will end your career, and it will be over. Cactus Jack, you have... 20, about 20 days - left in your glorious 15-year career - because at Hell in the Cell, I will finish what I've started. At Hell in the Cell, Cactus Jack, I will end it - for you. But Cactus - I take what I want, when I want it - and right now, I want a piece o' your ass. ''[Triple H come to the ring and addresses the Radicalz]'' Now, the four of you have got two choices - you can either get your asses out of this ring and save yourselves a beatin', or you can show your appreciation to the man that gave you the opportunity... to the man that gave you your contracts. ''[the Radicalz assault Cactus Jack. X-Pac does a Bronco Buster and Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko suplex Cactus as a setup for Chris Benoit's diving headbutt]'' Cactus - that is the beginning of the end. Twenty days, count them, relish them - because in 20 days - it is The End! ''[pedigrees Cactus]''

===April 17===
:'''Chris Jericho''': ''[to Triple H]'' So you're telling me, Triple H, that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because that match never took place? You're telling me that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because these Jericho-holics never saw me beat you in the middle of that ring for this championship? Well, I guess we can all believe that. So I guess it's also not true that your wife Stephanie has not slept with half the boys in that locker room. ''[Stephanie coldly glares at him]'' I guess that we can't believe that either.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Earl Hebner has reversed Chris Jericho's pinfall win over Triple H and gave him back the WWF Championship per an agreement on Triple H never laying a hand on him while he's still a referee]''
:'''Triple H''': I'm a man of my word, Earl. I will not lay a hand on you as long as you're a World Wrestling Federation referee. Oh and by the way: YOUR ASS IS FIRED! ''[does the Pedigree on Earl]'' 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[the McMahon-Helmsley Regime goes to the ring after Linda McMahon announces Stone Cold Steve Austin coming to Backlash]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley''': Unfair, mom? You wanna know what's unfair is you hopping on a little plane... ''[angry at Slut! chants]'' hopping on a little plane, thinkging you can come down to this ring, to the World Wrestling Federatiton and start making decisions on things you know nothing about!
:'''Linda McMahon''': Oh yes I do, yes I can!
:'''Stephanie''':  In case you haven't forgotten the last we were in the ring together, mother, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime has no problem &quot;slapping&quot; people around, and hopefully you've noticed that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime is all about opportunity - so I'm gonna give you the opportunity to change your mind. Think about it, mother. What's your decision?
:'''Linda''': ''[long pause]'' NO!!!
:'''Stephanie''': No. You won't change your mind. You're gonna have Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Rock's corner. Well then, I'm not gonna change my mind about what I have to do, but Mom, just remember, like you told me when I was a little girl, this is gonna hurt me a lot worse than it hurts you. ''[tries to slap Linda, but gets knocked down when Linda blocks it and slaps her instead]''
:'''Linda''': ''[shocked at what she just did, tries to crouch down and help Stephanie]'' Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
:'''Stephanie''': ''[dismisses her]'' Get away from me!!

===June 12===
:''[WWF CEO Linda McMahon has set up a six-man King of the Ring tagteam match between Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Triple H against the Rock, Undertaker, and Kane. Vince fumes at the booking]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': We accept, we accept! You think you're gonna embarrass me?!? Huh?!?! You think you can come out here and put me in a position where you're gonna embarrass me in front of all these people, that's not gonna happen! I don't give a damn what match you make at the King of the Ring, I don't care what match you make tonight, tomorrow night, or any other night!
:'''Linda McMahon''': Well, if that's the case, Vince, how about tonight? ''[let's sink in]'' If that's the case yeah, Triple H, you'll defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship... ''[as HHH seethes]'' against an opponent of my choosing.
:'''Vince''': ''[brushes off HHH's protests]'' That's it? You got it! Triple HHH defends his WWF title tonight, and okay he doesn't know who his opponent is. Even so, he'll do it even it's not fair and ''[points at her]'' you know damn well it's not!
:'''Linda''': Not fair? Well, if you don't think that's fair, you're probably not gonna like this either. Because there's another championship that needs to be defended tonight- and that championship is yours, Stephanie. ''[Stephanie reacts]'' Come on, Steph, you will defend the World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship against Lita ''[Steph mouths off NO!]'' - and pay very close attention to this, this is the stipulation: If any member of the Faction interferes in the match at all, you will be disqualified and Lita will be awarded the Championship.
:'''Vince''': ''[ponders the logic in the announcement]'' All right you got that too, I'm happy. Now you've made your announcements, Little Ms CEO, you can go back to playing CEO somewhere else, maybe where you started your day this morning in Wilmington, Delaware. ''[tries to walk off with Shane, Stephanie, and HHH]''
:'''Linda''': Whoawhoawhoawhoa, Vince. ''[they look back at him]'' I don't play the CEO, ''I am the CEO.'' and as the CEO, I'll make this one final announcement tonight. Tonight, Shane McMahon will see action and also tonight, Vince McMahon will see action. And both Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon will team up in tag-team action against... the Dudley Boyz! ''[Father and son are dumbfounded]'' But it's not just any tag-team match. It's a Tables Match! ''[Shane walks off in disgust while Steph comforts a grimacing Vince]''

=== October 2 ===
:''[The Rock slams Kane and Chris Benoit as they and Kurt Angle leave him, Rikishi, Mick Foley, Triple H and Stephanie]''
:'''Rock''': Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. The Rock is not done. You see, Mick Foley, the Rock is in a very giving mood as well. Now Kane, since you just wanna find things... Benoit, all you wanna do is prove things. Well, the Rock is gonna make both of you very happy men tonight. You see, before you and Kane face the Rock and Rikishi, the Rock wants you to do this - the Rock wants you to go find a very quiet place tonight. You two together, nobody else, you two by yourselves, go find a nice quiet place where you can be alone. And all your dreams can come true. All your dreams can come true - your dream, Kane, of finding things - your dream, Benoit, of proving things will come true, and this is how you do it: Benoit, when you're by yourself with Kane, pull your pants down ''[Benoit is blocked by the referees from coming down to the ring]'' go ahead Benoit, pull your pants down, and ''prove'' to Kane that you're not a woman!... and Kane, since you just wanna ''find'' things, you go ahead and find the penis Benoit claims he has! ''[Kane tries to go after the Rock, but the referees hold the line against him and Benoit]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Triple H just asked Stephanie to steer clear of his WWF Championship No 1 contender match against Kurt Angle, but as Stephanie walks away, she surprisingly runs into Chris Benoit]''
:'''Chris Benoit''': How's your head? ''[Stephanie gives him a hard slap]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Whoa! ''[Benoit turns his head right but he snaps back like not feeling the pain]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Good God! ''[sees Benoit laughing as Steph walks away]'' and Benoit's smiling... oh my God!

===October 9===
:''[Mick Foley is with the Rock and Rikishi in the ring]''
:'''Mick Foley''': I've come out here in the past, I made wild accusations, but that’s not going to happen tonight. I promised to deliver the person, who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I will! Fortunately, my announcement will conclude what has undoubtedly been the worst week of my professional career. Unfortunately, all of the evidence points to you, Rock. It was your rental car that ran down Stone Cold, only your fingerprints, only your DNA were found inside the car. Hell, a pair of The Rock's sunglasses were found inside the glove box. And as Linda McMahon herself stated, no one else had as much to gain by Stone Cold's departure, did they, Rock? No, with Stone Cold out of the way, who sold the T-shirts, who picked up the media appearences, whose book went to number one, who showed up on television, who got movie roles? You have not fooled me, Rock, and therefore right here in Anaheim, California, in the case of who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series, Mick Foley finds The Rock... not guilty!

:But if you didn't do it, who did? Now I'm gonna tell you, who did. ''[points to Rikishi]'' He did. I hadn't quite figured it out until Scotty 2 Hotty said something about 'hang out backstage with Rikishi', hell, Rikishi, you weren't even part of Survivor Series, you hadn't even debuted on television! Who else is close enough with The Rock to go inside his dressing room? ''[Rikishi shakes head in denial]'' Who else is close enough with The Rock to reach inside his bag and get his keys? The mirrors and the seat were configured to fit not just a large man, but a very large man. That very large man is YOU! The only thing, I don't know, is why!
:'''Rikishi''': Okay. I did it. In case, you didn't hear, I admit. I did it. I ran over Austin. And you ask, why? I didn't do it for me. No, I didn't do it for me. I did it for... The Rock! ''[The Rock is surprised]'' You see, Rock, I took your keys out of your bag that night, when I went to go check into the hotel. And when I jumped into the car, I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin standing in the middle of the parking lot all alone. And suddenly, everything flashed right through my eyes.

:You see, the WWF has always been all about the &quot;Great White Hope&quot;... and I'm talking about such people as [[w:Buddy Rogers|Buddy Rogers]], people like [[w:Bruno Sammartino|Bruno Sammartino]], people like [[w:Bob Backlund|Bob Backlund]], people like [[w:Hulk Hogan|Hulk Hogan]], and now, people like [[w:Stone Cold Steve Austin|Stone Cold Steve Austin]]. You see, the WWF has always let the island boys in, but we were always held back! Now listen to me, Rock, and I really want you to listen to me! And I'm talking about people like your grandfather, a well-respected man, High Chief [[w:Peter Maivia|Peter Maivia]], ''[Rock is visibly shaken at the mention]'' could have became a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! People like [[w:Jimmy_Snuka|Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka]], could have been a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! And people like [[w:The_Wild_Samoans|Afa and Sika]], [[w:Samula_Anoaʻi|Samu]], and the [[w:Sam Fatu|Tonga Kid]], they were all held back.

:So you see, Rock, I ran Stone Cold over, and I did this for you. I don't expect any favor from you, Rock. No, I don't expect no favors and no payback. Before, I want you people to know all around the world, and set the record straight, that The Rock did not have a damn thing to do with this. I take full responsibility! And you know what, Rock, just you being who you are today is good enough for me and our people. And before I go, one more time, I ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin! And to tell the truth, ''I'd do it again!''

=== October 23 ===
:'''Kurt Angle''': People, I ask you, what do you consider to be a successful year? For most people, a successful year would be maybe earning a little extra money, or getting a promotion, or maybe spending a little extra time with your families and loved ones. With all respect, that's a bunch of garbage. It's true, it's true. I know that people have obstacles to overcome in their lives. For most people, it's overcoming poverty; for some people, it's overcoming impossible odds, like having accomplished something in your life, being born in a city like Hartford, Connecticut. ''[Shakes Stephanie's hand]'' Good job, Steph. Good job. For me, it was accomplishing more in one year than most people will ever accomplish in their whole entire lives.
:Let me take you on a little trip. A pictorial journey, if you will. See, four years ago, I captured the Olympic Gold Medal in the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, Georgia. For most people, after capturing the Olympic Gold Medal, they would call it a career. It's over, done. Thankfully, I'm not most people, and that is true. Four years later, I decided to give it a shot and enter the World Wrestling Federation. &quot;The most celebrated athlete in the World Wrestling Federation,&quot; the headlines screamed, and boy, were they on the money!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' ASSHOLE!
:'''Kurt Angle''': ''[to the crowd]'' Would you keep it down for a second please?
:A mere two months in the WWF, and I captured my first gold by winning the European Championship. And incredibly, here's the footage, incredibly, tourism grew in Europe 38% from me! Then, only two months later, two months later, I captured the Intercontinental Championship, in this very city, mind you! And I became the first ever EuroContinental Champion in WWF history. Well, besides D'Lo Brown, but he doesn't count, we know that.
:Then four months later, four months later, I not only captured gold, but royalty as well when I was crowned the 2000 King of the Ring. What a memory. Look at that, Steph. Look at that crown and that scepter. And unbelievably, sales of crowns and scepters grew 49%! I couldn't believe it either.
:And then last night, the greatest accomplishment of all, with help from my good friend and business partner, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, I topped the most amazing eleven months in WWF history and became the World Wrestling Federation Champion. We will remember that for a lifetime. ''That'', people, is a successful year. That is what separates great men from supermen. With that in mind, I wrote a little poem in celebration of my victory. The poem is called &quot;What Makes a Man Super-Great&quot;, and I'd like to read it to you tonight.
:Greatness comes in many shapes
:Beyond red, white and blue.
:It's the addition of the color gold.
:Yes, indeed, it's true.

===December 4===
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very first time, Kevin Kelly, The Rock stood here right in this arena and called ''[points at]'' you an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday night, at Armageddon, The Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. This is gonna the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerousest match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, or Rage in a Cage, Painus in Uranus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title.

:And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, ''[mocks Angle]'' &quot;I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate-chip cookies and then maybe I'll take three Viagra.&quot; Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. ''[mimics Rikishi's admission]'' &quot;I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for...&quot; oh, shut your mouth, you thong-wearin' fatty!

:Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... ''[does rising from the dead]'' &quot;Rest in peace!&quot; Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which ''[copies HHH drawl]''' means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two-dollar slut for a wife-uh! ''[normal voice]'' Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat... ''[wears SCSA woodland camo cap and makes Texan drawl]'' Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get in my, I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-weisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! ''[normal]'' One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell... what The Rock is cooking!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon wanted to deliver the State of the WWF Address, but gets sprawled on the ring thanks to Austin, The Rock, and the Undertaker]''
:'''Mick Foley''': ''[crouches down at Vince]'' Vince... jeez, not a good day isn't it? I mean, you've been Stone Cold Stunnered, you've been Rock Bottomed, hell you even went for the Last Ride! So I guess, there's really only one thing left to do. ''[pulls out Mr Socko and goes around the ring before going down on one knee. mouths off Mr Socko in tinny voice]'' Kiss my fat ass, Vince ''[normal voice]'' and have a nice day!

===December 18===
:''[Stephanie steps in to stop Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and Vince McMahon from beating down Commissioner Mick Foley]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley''': Stop! Stop it! Stop beating up on Mick Foley. Mick I hope you're alright because I got something that could change your life forever. I hold in my hand documents from the Board of Directors that could very well change the face of the WWF forever. These papers clearnly state that since my mother, Linda McMahon, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, has been deemed mentally incompetent that the Board of Directors has no other alternative than to grant full power and authority of the CEO's office... ''[looks at Foley]'' to ''[changes voice] my dad! [Vince's face regains color as Stephanie give her the papers]'' Congratulations, daddy! It's official! 
:'''Vince McMahon''': That's my baby girl, huh! Sorry, Linda, if you're in the hospital watching, business is business and since I now have complete and total full authority over the World Wrestling Federation, that means Mr McMahon is back! So therefore, with the power that is invested in me, Vincent K McMahon, it is my duty to inform Mick Foley that his services are no longer required. ''[motions to Foley as he slumps in the corner]'' In other words, Mick Foley, you bleeding huck of adipose tissue, YOU'RE FIRED!! 
:''[A distraught Foley stands up but Kurt Angle fires a chairshot at him. Vince shakes hands with Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and leaves with Stephanie, but remembers something at the stage]''
:'''Vince''': Oh, oh, and uh, just one other thing. Mick, Mick Foley... Merry Christmas!

== 2001 ==
=== March 5 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': Hello again, everybody, and welcome to the World Wrestling Federation. We're live here in D.C., I'm Jim Ross, and...
:'''Paul Heyman''': They already know who you are, so tell them who I am now.
:'''Jim Ross''': I'm joined by Paul Heyman.
:'''Paul Heyman''': You're joined by Paul Heyman, because last Tuesday night, The Kat was released by the WWF, and her husband Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler, to his credit, walked out right alongside with her. But where there's chaos, J.R., there is opportunity. And tonight, just like TNN threw off ECW for the WWF, the King is gone, and in his chair is Paul E., and the E is for '''EXTREME'''! How's that? Not bad, huh?
:'''Jim Ross''': I don't know what I did to deserve this...

=== March 26 ===
:''[cold opening]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[points to monitors]'' Well now here's the WWF, and here's WCW, there's Jeff Jarrett, and here we have the owner of the World Wrestling Federation - and now the owner of WCW. That's right, I, Vince McMahon, I have purchased - I own, my own competition and tonight, I have the ability to address WWF fans as to what this means. I have the ability to address WCW stars as to what this means to them, and yes, I have the ability to address WCW fans to what this actually means to them as well. Tonight, at the right time, there will be a special simulcast, and let me say for sure, ''[puts up index finger]'' one man will make history, ''[thumbs up at himself]'' and that's me. Vince McMahon. Now, as far as the Jeff Jarretts of the world are concerned, you know how Jeff spells his name &quot;that's J-E-double-F&quot;? Well, you know what hmm I would suspect that we'd spell it a different way after tonight, that would be &quot;capital G, double-O, double-N, double-E... GONE&quot;!  
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[as Vince McMahon comes down for the special simulcast with Nitro]'' They say that [[Alexander the Great]] sat down on a rock and cried, for he had no worlds left to conquer. Tonight, the [[w:Monday Night Wars|Monday Night Wars]] are over, and the victor, the victor of the Monday Night Wars is clear, it's ''[refers to Vince as he just instructed Lillian Garcia to repeat her introduction of him]'' that man.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon gloats over him buying WCW... but Shane appears, revealing that he's over at the [[WCW Monday Nitro|WCW Nitro]] finale]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': What's up Vince? Surprise Dad, you're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'm here in Panama City Beach, Florida, standing in a WCW ring and as usual Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. Your ego has gotten the best of you. I mean, Dad, you wanted to have the audacity to finalize this deal - WCW - at WrestleMania? You wanted to have the audacity to ask Ted Turner himself to come down and finalize that deal? Well, Dad, that's just the opportunity that I was looking for, because Dad, the deal is finalized with WCW and the name on the contract does say &quot;McMahon.&quot; ''[WCW fans pop and Vince gulps]'' However, the contract reads, &quot;Shane McMahon.&quot;
:''[Vince is openmouthed]''
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[on commentary]'' Oh my God! I don't believe it!
:'''Shane''': That's right, Dad, I now own WCW! And Dad, just like WCW did in the past--[[w:Monday Night Wars#1996–1997:_WWF_struggles|how it kicked your ass in the past]] and it will again. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you this Sunday, at WrestleMania!
:'''Jim''': I can't believe what we have just heard! Shane McMahon has bought WCW! And Mr. McMahon is in absolute shock!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince McMahon calls his lawyers and makes his rage known over how Shane swept in for the WCW sale]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Do you attorneys just SHUT UP?!?! You listen to me, dammit! Look I don't care what I said, I don't give a damn what - how could you let that happen? How could you just ''[smashes glass]'' how could you possibly let that happen?!?! HUH?? You son of a bitch! You good for nothing! You ruined this whole damned thing!

=== June 18 ===
:'''Diamond Dallas Page''': Undertaker! Like the Diamond Cutter, you never saw it comin'! Now those of you who know me are asking yourself the question why? Why did I, why did Diamond Dallas Page go after the Undertaker like this? Well I'll tell ya. I'll tell ya exactly why. Because if you wanna make an impact in this business, you go after the biggest, the meanest, the baddest dog in the yard. And once you find that dog, if you wanna get the very best of him, you make it personal - ''real'' personal. And then, hey, you find that dog's weakness. Well Taker, you are obviously that dog. And you've been telling people for years that this ring, right here, is your yard. We'll see.
:But, up to a few weeks ago, Taker, you have never shown weakness. I mean, NEVER shown weakness. That is, up until a few weeks ago when you told Stone Cold Steve Austin that if he ever, ever messed with your family, you'd make him famous. Duh! Taker, you idiot, Stone Cold Steve Austin's already famous! But it did get me to thinkin'. Good God. When you said what you said about your family, Dead Man, you didn't sound so dead - as a matter of fact, you sounded very ''alive.'' And for you, son, that's a sign of weakness. Taker, think about it. Remember when you used to say, &quot;I've slept through things that make most people's hair turn gray.&quot; Remember that? Okay, you didn't say it exactly LIKE that, but you remember that. You also said you weren't afraid of anything. FOUL! I'm gonna call you on that right now. Taker, I'm callin' you a liar! Oh yeah! Oh yeah I am. 'Cause take a look at him now - he's runnin' around his house, lockin' all the windows, lockin' the doors. I can just see him now, calling Vince McMahon this morning. &quot;Mr. McMahon, I can't possibly come in and compete tonight - I can't leave my wife Sara - there's a madman - there's a stalker trying to get to my wife Sara!&quot;
:You're scared to death! How's it feel, son? I tell you what, there is a positive side to this. Diamond Dallas Page has made your wife Sara famous. And speaking of famous, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, deserves to be more famous than the King of Ba-da-bing, the Master of the Diamond Cutter. NOBODY deserves to be more famous that ME: DDP! Because my whole life, I've wanted to be since I was eight years old, my whole life people have been tellin' me, until you've been to the shizzow, until you've been to the show, until you've been to the very top of our business, you're never really famous. So Taker, trust me, I'm using you to get the top of this business, and you can take it to the bank, whether I gotta buy a ticket or not, I will see you at King of the Ring. You gotta problem with me? Cool. Taker, I'm beggin' ya - make me FAMOUS!

=== June 25 ===
:'''Edge''': Billy (Gunn), since you're not really doing anything lately, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. If, in two years' time at the King of the Ring, I'm not defending a title or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please just shoot me in the head.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Al Snow''': ''[walking backstage]'' Did you see ''Tough Enough'' last Thursday?
:'''Hardcore Holly''': As a matter of fact, I did, and Al, you did a great job, even though I should've been there to help.
:'''Al Snow''': I couldn't agree more...hey, what...what's going on here?
:''[They walk up to find several wrestlers around the APA table.]''
:'''Faarooq''': Hey, guys, guys, listen up. WCW, now here's a company that, when you came knocking, that wouldn't answer their door for you; here's a company that wouldn't return your phone calls; here's a company that said ''you'' wasn't [''sic''] talented enough to work for them. Then all of the sudden, when the wells run dry and they have to pay for those million and a half dollar homes and those brand new BMWs, those brand new Mercedes, they come running their asses here for us to save 'em. Well, guess what. This is the WWF. We all helped build this house. Now all of the sudden, they want a piece of the pie? I say hell no.
:'''Bradshaw''': WCW wants to walk into ''our'' house, a house we built, a house you all built? You guys are on the World Wrestling Federation roster; it took some of you years to get here. But you're here now, and that means you're the best in the world at what you do. And now, these guys from WCW, because they couldn't make it on their own, want to come ridin' piggyback off of us 'cause we're the only show in town? Well, let's make this perfectly clear. Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, Mike Awesome, everybody from WCW, you can go straight to Hell. We'll meet your ass there, we'll kick it there too!
:Whatever you thought about us in the past, whatever you think about us now doesn't really matter. We've stood alone before. What I'm asking you is this. We're asking you to show why you're on this roster, we're asking you to stand up for what you have built. There's going to be a fight. I know there's gonna be a fight because ''we're'' gonna start it! There's gonna be some beer gettin' drunk, there's gonna be some asses gettin' kicked, but most of all, it's time we got medieval on somebody's ass!

===July 9===
:''[Vince McMahon is shocked at the WCW and ECW groups seemingly together and mauling the WWF group]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': Hey Dad, you want to know what is going on? Can't you see what is happening? I said I could never ever compete with your checkbook, but I can outsmart you and that's exactly what I've done tonight. That's exactly what we did tonight. You see Dad back in the locker room you told me that I will be personally responsible for everything that happens out here tonight. And you know what Dad, you're right. I'm personally responsible for all of this. I'm personally responsible for WCW. I am personally responsible for ECW being here tonight.
:'''Paul Heyman''': How do you like that Vince? HUH!? How do you like it now!?!?
:'''Shane''': And I am personally responsible for the MERGER of WCW and ECW coming together tonight! So, Dad, at InVasion, this new entity, WCW and ECW is gonna kick the WWF's ass! Oh yeah, I got one more thing for you, one more. And I am also personally responsible and privileged to introduce you to the new owner of ECW. I believe you know this person quite well. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up...for Vince's daughter Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley! ''[Vince reacts as Triple H's intro music &quot;My Time&quot; plays and slowly turns around to see Stephanie passing him]''
:'''Jim Ross''': The new owner of WCW. Oh my God, Shane owns WCW and the princess, Vince's little baby girl, now owns ECW. For the love of God, the sins of the father are costing us all in the WWF! I do not believe this! July 9, 2001 - a date that will live in sports entertainment infamy!

===July 16===
:''[The Alliance leaders are happy with Steve Austin walking out on Vince at the previous SmackDown! show]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': I'm so excited for Booker T to rip off Chris Jericho's head tonight and again this Sunday, at Invasion!
:'''Paul Heyman''': I love her enthusiasm ''[to Shane McMahon]'' Shane, think about it. This Sunday at Invasion Inaugural Brawl, it's our five best against their five best and their very best, Stone Cold Steve Austin, ain't at his best anymore now, is he?
:'''Shane McMahon''': Now let's get down to out five best that we're in agreement. ''[counts on fingers]'' Booker T.
:'''Heyman''': Right.
:'''Shane''': DDP...
:'''Heyman''': Right.
:'''Shane''': The Dudley Boyz, and Rhyno...
:'''Heyman''': GORE! GORE! GORE! ''[Stephanie is surprised]'' 
:'''Shane''': ...will represent us this Sunday. 
:'''Stephanie''': WCW and ECW.
:'''Shane''': This Sunday, sports entertainment as we know it, the course of it, will be changed forever.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Vince, the Undertaker, and the APA meet the entire WWF locker room]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': All right guys, listen up here for a minute, please.
:'''Faarooq''': Hey, hey. I'm sure y'all saw what happened here tonight. Look, they still don't damn get it. But you know what, tonight we're gonna show their asses that we mean business. ''[wrestlers murmur in assent]''
:'''Bradshaw''': These second-rate sons of bitches wanna ride piggyback offa us, 'cause they can't make it on their own? Then tell 'em to bring their little invasion on, because starting tonight, we ain't takin' this shit no more. It's TIME we got knee-deep in somebody's ass! ''[wrestlers get agitated]''
:'''McMahon''': Guys, let me just say this, that - make no mistake about what's going down here tonight - make no mistake about what's gonna happen this Sunday, 'cause no one in this room has ever been threatened personally...like you're threatened now. None of us have ever been threatened collectively like we're threatened now. This coalition of WCW and ECW - they wanna eat each and every one of you alive. They wanna do it tonight, and they wanna finish us off on Sunday. Now I was hoping that we were gonna have someone with us tonight to lead the way, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
:'''Undertaker''': To HELL with all that! I've heard all of that I'm gonna hear. What it's time for is to find out who the phony tough is and who's the crazy brave. Austin - he's made a hell of a name for himself here in the WWF, and now he don't have the heart to go out and to fight for the company that made him? I say the HELL with him! The rest of you, you need to understand this - there's no shame in goin' out and fightin' and gettin' your ass kicked. There's no honor in not fighting at all. So who wants to fight? ''[wrestlers murmur]'' WHO WANTS TO FIGHT??!? ''[wrestlers get agitated and Undertaker quiets them as a staff member brings in Freddie Blassie on a wheelchair]''
:'''Freddie Blassie''': Gentlemen, there comes a time when every man must fight for what he believes in! ''[rises from wheelchair]'' You understand? Now's the time! Get up, stand up, and fight! ''[wrestlers get louder]''
:'''Wrestlers''': Fight!! FIGHT!!!!
:''[at a bar, Austin is so unnerved by footage of the gathering that he moves balls around a pool table and smashes a cue before leaving]''
:'''Debra''': Steve! Where are you going??
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Classy Freddie Blassie leaves with an assistant, but Shane and Stephanie McMahon waylay them]''
:'''Shane McMahon''': Hey hold on a second, hold on a second, stay right there. You think what you said there had any impact at all?
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': Hey Freddie, you think that with Stone Cold Steve Austin just did out there, you think that had any impact? 
:'''Shane''': You think the WWF has any impact at all, any impact at all this Sunday on ECW and WCW? The answer is NO!!
:'''Stephanie''': ''[laughs]'' But I tell you what will have a lot of impact. You see Freddie, because you and the WWF have a lot in common. ''You're both about to die!'' 
:'''Shan''': ''[to assistant]'' Get him out of here. Go!

===August 27===
:''[The Rock appears after winning the WCW title]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to Grand Rapids! Shane McMahon, just so the Rock understands this: The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about history of the WCW title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and - woooooooooo! - Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The [[w:David Arquette|guy]] from ''Scream 2'', the dog from ''Married with Children'', the maid from ''The Jeffersons''! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets ''[makes finger-petting motion]'' a turn! 

===September 24===
:'''Michael Cole''': Last night at Unforgiven, you successfully defended your WCW title, but no rest for the weary, because tonight you will defend that title, yet again, this time against Rob Van Dam.
:'''The Rock''': Finally, The Rock has come back to Columbus! ''[crowd cheers]'' You see, last night was a very special night for The Rock. Handicap match, The Rock, Booker T, Shane O'Mac, The Rock walked in to Unforgiven the WCW Champion, The Rock walked out Unforgiven the WCW Champion! ''[crowd cheers]'' But tonight is a very special night as well. You see, tonight will mark the first time, FIRST TIME, The Rock will defend his WCW title against Rob Van Dam. But that's not the only reason why tonight is a very special night. You see, on this night, 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself, came something so terrifying! So horrifying, it sends chills up and down men's bodies all over the world! Tonight marks the birth of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. And you know, Stephanie, a word of warning. The Rock knows that you like to get involved in all The Alliance matches. So if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, Stephanie, The Rock - ''[The Rock looks off-screen for several seconds as the crowd cheers]'' Stephanie if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, then just like the doctor did 25 years ago when he held your little baby body up and wiped all the afterbirth goo from your body, The Rock will take the back of the people's hand and slap that million dollar candy ass! ''[crowd cheers]'' But you see, Stephanie, don't get The Rock wrong, The Rock is happy it's your birthday. As a matter of fact, The Rock wants to help you celebrate this very joyous occasion. So Stephanie, allow The Rock to sing you a very special birthday song. ''[singsong]'' Happy Birthday to Steph, you're a hoe with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!

=== October 29 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[after Vince McMahon knocks down his son, Shane, with a trash can]'': Can Vince make the cover? ''[suddenly Alliance members Booker T and Test come out to the ring to attack Vince]'' Wait a minute, there's...there's that damn Booker T and Test! Those bastards! ''[The Undertaker and Kane then arrive to even the odds]'' And Undertaker and Kane! Undertaker and Kane!
:'''Paul Heyman''': But whose side are they on?
:'''Jim''': They're not on Test and Booker T's side, that's for damn sure! Kane...on the outside, ''[Kane and Test knock each other down with kicks to the face]'' and both Kane and Test are down! The Undertaker, looking for a...spinaroonie, a little ride...''[Undertaker gives Booker T a Last Ride]'' ...a Last Ride! ''[William Regal then comes out and gives The Undertaker a low blow from behind]'' But there's - oh! - Alliance commissioner William Regal with a low blow! Coming from behind The Undertaker, ''[Regal then hits the Regal Cutter on The Undertaker]'' and Regal, taking The Undertaker down, and perhaps out of this equation. ''[the crowd cheers loudly as suddenly The Rock comes out to the ring and attacks Regal]'' And there's The Rock!
:'''Paul''': But whose side is he on?!
:'''Jim''': Team WWF! And The Rock, laying the smack down on Regal! ''[The Rock then gives Regal a Rock Bottom]'' And the Rock Bottom! The Rock Bottom! ''[out comes Stone Cold Steve Austin]'' Oh God! There's Austin!
:'''Paul''': I know what side he's on! It's Stone Cold, ''[Austin gives The Rock a Stone Cold Stunner]'' punishing The Rock!
:'''Jim''': Austin with a Stunner on The Rock!
:'''Paul''': Austin just stunned The Rock!
:''[now Kurt Angle comes out, with a steel chair in hand]''
:'''Jim''': And here comes Kurt Angle!
:'''Paul''': Whose side is HE on?!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Angle looks like he is about to hit Austin with the chair]'' Kurt Angle, the steel chair! Tear his head - ''[Chris Jericho runs into the ring, and Angle suddenly turns around and hits Jericho in the head with the chair instead]'' Oh no! Angle just nailed - Kurt Angle just hit Chris Jericho with the, right in the face with that steel chair! ''[The Rock gets back up from the Stunner, only for Angle to hit him in the head with the chair as well]'' Oh my God! My God, what is this?! ''[Angle then hits the Undertaker with the chair]'' Oh my God, don't tell me! ''[Kane gets back in the ring and Angle hits him with the chair as well]'' No! No! Kurt Angle! No!
:'''Paul''': It's Kurt Angle! Kurt Angle, has joined the Alliance!
:'''Jim''': My God, it can't be!
:'''Paul''': It is! It's true! It's true!
:''[Austin stands Vince up and hits him with a Stone Cold Stunner]''
:'''Jim''': Oh! Austin - got the Stunner on McMahon, who couldn't even stand to start with!
:'''Paul''': Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance, it's true, it's true!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Austin puts Shane on top of Vince]'': Oh no! That son of a - ''[as the referee successfully counts to three]'' No! No, dammit! ''[the bell rings]'' Oh, God! What has Kurt Angle done?
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here's your winner, Shane McMahon!
:'''Paul''': Shane McMahon has beaten his own father!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Shane and Austin embrace and then celebrate in the ring with Angle]'': Shane McMahon may have beat his father physically; he may have also just beat his father at his own game! For the love of God, Shane McMahon has coerced Kurt Angle to join the Alliance!
:'''Paul''': Kurt Angle has joined the Alliance! It's true! It's damn true!
:'''Jim''': Kurt Angle with an assault with a steel chair! Team WWF has gone to hell! My God, Kurt Angle has screwed us all and joined the damned Alliance!

=== November 19 ===
:''[Vince McMahon is not too pleased to see Ric Flair and demands an explanation]''
:'''Ric Flair''': The explanation that I'm gonna give you all revolves around the fact that I bet on a winner last night! Woooo!
:'''Vince McMahon''': What the hell are you talking about?
:'''Ric''': I sat home, wooo!! on the big side of town, in that big house, and I bet on a winner last night. But ''[to Kurt Angle]'' Kurt Angle, let me just say this to you. You're a man who's got an Olympic gold medal, you got a legacy, you're an ambassador, this is no way you want to win the World title. Be Kurt Angle, be the gold medal winner, and be a man that wins by beating the best man.
:'''Vince''': So you came down here 'cause its your hometown to give us your opinion. How nice, Mr Flair. Nice to see you, now goodbye.
:'''Ric''': You want, you want me to just cut it to the quick right away? I bet on a winner last night, and do you know, that when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock to that consortium, that the consortium... wooo!! ''[takes off coat, goes on rope, makes the strut, and swings off rope before going back to Vince]'' The consortium was '''me''', and now you and I, are limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheeling-dealin' son of a guns! You know why? Because we're partners! ''[embraces Vince briefly]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?!!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my god...Flair and McMahon are partners?!!?

== 2002 ==
===March 25===
:'''Linda McMahon''': Good evening. Tonight, we will witness the first-ever World Wrestling Federation draft. Vince McMahon will represent ''SmackDown!''. Ric Flair will represent ''Raw''. In the interest of time, only 20 picks will actually be made live tonight. A lottery will be held immediately following ''Raw'' on WWF.com to determine placement of all other World Wrestling Federation performers. The result of tonight's historic draft becomes effective on next week's ''Raw''. However, because of the Triple Threat WWF Championship match tonight, neither Triple H, Chris Jericho, nor Stephanie McMahon is eligible to be drafted. And due to a contractual clause, Stone Cold Steve Austin is not eligible to be drafted either. Mr. Austin is therefore declared a free agent, able to sign with either ''SmackDown!'' or ''Raw''. Thank you for your attention this evening and best of luck to all the World Wrestling Federation superstars.

=== July 1 ===
:''[Booker T chances upon Goldust]''
:'''Booker T''': Tell me you're not dressed like that. Man put that thing before you get somebody eye-witted. Who are you supposed to be tonight?
:'''Goldust''': ''[as Darth Vader, complete with breathing. touches Booker T]'' Booker, the Force is strong with you, but you are not a Jedi yet. 
:'''Booker T''': Look man, I don't know what you're talking about, but I ain't no Star Wars geek. I ain't watched a movie and never will. 
:'''Goldust''': ''[removes helmet]'' Booker, it's not about that. It's about last week and our splendid plan. It's about me concocting another marvelous plan tonight if you will only go over there and relax. Get your matcon and get ready.. I will be back ''[dons helmet]''
:'''Booker T''': Let me see that. ''[takes lightsaber toy, but gets amazed when it lights up, and makes motions and humming sounds as if he's using the weapon]'' I'm like, I'm about to get medieval man... OBI-BOOK KENOBI!! It don't matter whether you're a Stormtrooper or the nWo, your ass is about to get waxed by the five-time Master Jedi champion, now can you dig that, ''[kneels and thrusts lightsaber upwards]'' sucka!!! ''[returns to normal and gives Goldust the lightsaber back]'' Take care of your business, man. ''[leaves]''

=== July 15 ===
:'''Booker T''': ''[in interview with Jonathan Coachman]'' The fact of the matter is this. Big Show, I'm 'bout to come out here and pull an Allen Iverson on yo' punk ass and show you why you don't put your hands on the ''[counts fingers on hand]'' five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW Champion! Now can you dig that... ''[looks over and looks like he's seeing a ghost, but it's actually...]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[shaking Booker's hand]'' Booker T, so good to see you again, my friend.
:'''Booker T''': ''[to Coach after Eric walks off]'' Tell me I didn't just see that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[With the one-hour countdown to naming a new Raw General Manager is up, Vince comes out]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': You know, you don't realize this but it takes a real son of a bitch to be successful in this business. So from one son of a bitch to another, allow me to introduce you to the new general manager of ''Raw'' - his name is ERIC BISCHOFF!
:''[Bischoff comes out and gives McMahon a deep embrace and raise their arms together. Bischoff heads down to the ring]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': &quot;For those of you who may not know me... my name is Eric Bischoff, and I used to run WCW. Not that watered-down version, by the way, that invaded this company... but the real deal. You see, when I ran WCW, I became famous. That's right. I was the only person EVER able to take it right to Vince McMahon. That would be me. In fact, when Vince was out here a couple weeks ago talking about ruthless aggression... just who the hell do you think he was talking about? That, of course, would be me - I've personified ruthless aggression.

:When Vince McMahon needed star power, I was ruthless. Hell, I signed everybody he had! Hulk Hogan - Randy Savage - Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Roddy Piper, it went on and on and on, hell - I was like a kid in a candy store! I signed Bobby &quot;the Brain&quot; Heenan and Mean Gene Okerlund... just for the hell of it! Just because I could. But what I really did... is I took this little family business, this McMahon monopoly, and I gave it one big swift kick in the crotch. And it was sweet. In fact, while Vince McMahon was on trial with the federal government, he took his eye off the ball - and I raided his company dry.

:And for all of you people who say the only reason I was successful is because I had Ted Turner's money, I've got news for each and every one of you - I was successful because I was innovative. In fact, I was cutting edge, remember - remember back when ''Raw'' was taped every other week and ''Nitro'' was live, and I decided to go on the air two minutes before ''Raw'', and I gave away everything that happened on ''Raw'' so YOU people didn't have to watch it? Oh, DAMN! That was ruthless. And it was a little aggressive, but it worked. And how about Alundra Blayze, you remember her? Vince's Woman's World Champion, I signed her away and I said 'hey, Alundra, bring your belt to ''Nitro'',' she didn't really want to, but I made her, 'cause... she worked for me. And I had her go out on national television and throw it in the trash! Hahaha... that one killed me, it was a little ruthless, it was a little aggressive, but it worked.

:But you know what the important thing was? Is I forced Vince McMahon to change the way he did television. *I* did. Because on ''Nitro'', I gave away a competitive main event every week with big stars! Hell, ''WCW Nitro'' changed the face of sports entertainment forever! And I singlehandedly forced Vince McMahon to change the way HE did business so HE could keep up with ME. It was beautiful. Hey, remember when I created the nWo? Cutting edge! Ruthless! Aggressive! Not some stale retread. ''Nitro'' beat ''Raw'' 84 WEEKS IN A ROW. Eighty-four weeks in a row, and I came THIS close - can you see it? THIS close to putting this company out of business forever. Singlehandedly!

:So naturally, I was a little surprised when my phone rang...and on the other end was none other than Vince McMahon, and he said 'hey Eric, whaddaya think about becoming the general manager of ''Raw''?' Well I gotta tell ya, I was surprised. I was DAMN surprised. But then the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me - because you see if there's one person - ONE person who can take this... struggling franchise, and turn it into a national media powerhouse! Well... that would be... ME. And it's gonna start right here on ''Raw'', and we're gonna kick it off this Sunday at Vengeance. Because there was one thing that I really wanted to do when I was running WCW, never got the job done, one piece of talent that I could never sign away. Just one. And I'm absolutely convinced - absolutely convinced that if I would have been able to sign him that right now, today, ''Nitro'' would be on the air, and Vince McMahon, my new best friend, with all due respect, would be working for me. But that's okay. Because it's not gonna be the nWo that signs Triple H - uh uh - that would be me.

:And for all of the rest of you in the back - some of you I've had a chance to work with, some of you I'm meeting for the very first time - one thing I'm sure you'll all agree on is that people generally like working for me - it's really not about the money - truly, it's not. People are drawn to winners - you people are drawn to winners - Mr. McMahon was drawn to a winner, which is why he hired me. Let's face it: the WWE *needs* me - you people DESERVE me - and there's one thing I wanna promise each and every one of you people. I am here to put the 'E' in WWE.

=== August 26 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': We stand here tonight on the sacred ground of the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. And, you can take Bruno Sammartino, Superstar Billy Graham, Hollywood Hulk Hogan...you can combine them all and they STILL don't equal this man. And the funniest thing about it is, I TOLD YOU SO! And none of you would listen to me! I told you Brock Lesnar was the Next Big Thing, and none of you would listen. I told you Brock Lesnar would win the King of the Ring, and none of you would listen to me. I told you that Brock Lesnar would destroy the myth of Hulkamania, none of you would listen to me! I told you Brock Lesnar would beat The Rock for the Undisputed title at SummerSlam, and none of you would listen to me! Well you think by now, you people would learn to listen!

=== October 7 ===
:[''Triple H and Ric Flair appear on the stage after Kane successfully defends the World Tag Team Championship in a TLC match'']
:'''Triple H''': Kane, I promised you that before this night was over, your life would never be the same. You said this is the happiest you've ever been in your life, huh? Well, unfortunately, some people always can't be that happy. [''crowd chants &quot;asshole&quot; at Triple H''] Let me ask you a question, Kane! How happy is Katie Vick? Yeah, that's right. I know, Kane. I know it all. Ten years ago, you killed her. That's right, Kane. You are a murderer. [''Kane stands in the ring, speechless'']

== 2003 ==

=== February 3 ===

:'''Triple H''': Today marks the beginning of a new era. You see, in this industry, just like in life, everything evolves. And what you see in this ring before you is the greatest example of Evolution you will ever see. Ric Flair, 16 times Heavyweight Champion of the World, the Nature Boy, the greatest professional wrestler of all time, a living legend. WHOO! Ric Flair has done it all and has beaten them all and done with a class and a style like no one else. Take it from me: There is no one better than Ric Flair.
:And all of the things Flair represents, I am today. I have taken all of those attributes and I have put them into the ultimate package. I have put them into a body that every man out there wishes he had and every single one of you women out there wants to be with. You top that off with a mind made for this business and you get the greatest Ring General of all time. You get the best that there is. You get The Game. You get the World Heavyweight Champion. Trust me, trust me when I tell you that there is only one diamond in this business, and baby, you’re looking at him.
:But evolution always continues, and you have to look to the future. And I look to you, Dave Batista. 6'5&quot;, 325 pounds of genetic stopping power! Unbridled destruction! In a war, when all seems lost, you take out your biggest gun and you blow them all away.
:And Randy Orton. The business in his blood. Third-generation Superstar, the man has every gift a man can be given. Raw, raw genetic talent. Randy Orton is the diamond-''[correcting himself]'' Randy Orton is the coal that will be squeezed into the next diamond.
:You see, in life, everything happens for a reason. That's just the natural process of evolution. You see, and if you don't have what it takes, you will be left behind. So if you wake up one day, and you’re lying in a hospital bed, and you’re all beat up and you’re wondering to yourself what in the hell happened, then there's just one answer for you: Evolution has just passed you by.

=== February 24 ===

:''[from an exclusive interview, a few weeks after Goldust was electrocuted]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Goldust, let's get right to the heart of the matter, how are you feeling these days?
:'''Goldust''': Question is, after last week's beating, how are ''you'' feeling, JR?
:'''Jim''': Well...uh, I'll-I'll be all right, but I'm a whole lot more concerned about you and...give us an update.
:'''Goldust''': Well, I was electrocuted, you know, there's...you either die or you live, and, uh...happily, I lived, and-and hopefully soon I'll be back.
:'''Jim''': Your good friend Booker T said that, on a recent interview, that &quot;good ol' Goldie wasn't quite right&quot;. Uh, there's also been rumors abounding that, uh, you have some neurological challenges you're trying to overcome. How do you address those rumors?
:'''Goldust''': There's been a lot of rumors for a lot of years about Goldust not being &quot;right&quot;. As far as Booker T's concerned, he's my best friend. He's been my supporter. The fans have sup - ''[twitching]'' ooh, ooh, ooh - supported me through thick and thin.
:'''Jim''': Excuse me?
:'''Goldust''': Well, they've supported me. I feel good. I feel as good as...I feel - uhh, AHH! - as good as gold, I'm coming back - AHH!
:'''Jim''': Look, Goldust, I'm...I don't think - I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that, uh...there's something wrong here.
:'''Goldust''': Well, I-I think there's something wrong too, you know, the doctors don't - ooh, ooh - don't...don't...mmm...don't, don't really know what's wrong with me, you know. Uh, but they say as long as I take...take my medication that-that-that-that...that, uh, you know, everything will - AHH! - work it...work itself out, so...you know, that's - AY! - that's all I can say.
:'''Jim''': If you had the opportunity to say something to the two men that did this to you - Randy Orton and Batista - what would it be?
:'''Goldust''' ''[staring into the camera]'': Randy Orton and Batista...you don't know what it feels like to be on the edge of death...but when this is all over, said and done, you will ''never'' forget the name of - ''[inhales]'' - Goldust. ''[chomps]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''The Rock''' ''[singing and playing his guitar]'': ~Ever since the Rock came into town, everybody tried to bring him down, Canadians have no class, that's why they can kiss the People's ass.~
:''[suddenly the Hurricane appears before him. The Rock stops playing his guitar]''
:'''The Hurricane''': Holy letdown! The Rock! You used to be an idol, an icon; loved by millions...and millions! And yet tonight, you come out, and you trash the people! What's up wit dat?
:''[The Rock removes his shades, looks the Hurricane up and down, clears his throat and sets his guitar aside]''
:'''The Rock''': Who...in the ''green'' hell, are you? Oh, no you-no-no-no, don't answer that, ''[standing up]'' the Rock knows who you are! Oh yeah, the Rock knows exactly who you are! The green shirt, 'H' on your chest, green mask...why, you're the Hamburglar! Yeah, you're that cat that works for McDonald's! Go get me a cheeseburger, go get the Rock a cheeseburger, no ketchup! Ah-ah-ah, as a matter of fact, no-no, don't go nowhere! The Rock knows exactly who you are, yeah! Yeah, you're the resident superhero, the Hurricane! The Rock knows who you are, my man, yeah; don't you ever bust in the Rock's door like that again, you hear? Hey, but what's more importantly than that, let the Rock remind you of something: you ain't nothin'. You understand that? Every superhero can whip that ass, every single one of 'em! EVERY single one of 'em! Superman, Batman, Aquaman, oh yeah, Aquaman, that dude that talks to the fish, he'll whip that little candy ass, ''[snapping his fingers]'' just like that!
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, I know one superhero who I can definitely beat!
:'''The Rock''' ''[grinning, to himself]'': This is a joke. ''[to the Hurricane]'' Who?
:'''The Hurricane''': The Scorpion King!
:'''The Rock''': Oh, no you-! You, no-no-no - there is no WAY you can beat the Scorpion King, you don't-!
:'''The Hurricane''': ''Brendan Fraser'' beat the Scorpion King!
:'''The Rock''': Brenda-da-da-da, he did not, that was a special effect for the movie, for crying - the Scorpion King is the most powerful-
:'''The Hurricane''' ''[interrupting]'': Let me ask you one question, Rock, just one more: can the Rock...fly?
:'''The Rock''': ...you've been smokin' them funny cigarettes? The Rock gonna fly and whip that candy ass, the Rock-
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, good! Because tonight, the Hurricane is gonna send ''your'' candy ass flying over the top rope in that battle royal! ''[&quot;flies&quot; out of the room]''
:'''The Rock''': ...it was a special effect for the movie!

=== March 3 ===

:''[&quot;The Coach&quot;, Jonathan Coachman, knocks twice on the door to the Rock's locker room, microphone in hand. The Rock finally answers, while putting a stick of gum into his mouth]''
:'''Coach''': Hey, Rock, what's, what's goin' on-
:'''The Rock''' ''[interrupting]'': Are you...are you on crack, Coach? Are you on cr - wh-wh-what are you doing? What are you doing?
:'''Coach''': I just wanted to get a word with you before you go out tonight-
:'''The Rock''': You can't get a word with the Rock, that's not the way it works, you know that! You just don't, knock on the Rock's locker like that, the People's locker, you KNOW that! You already know that! ''[stammering]'' Hey, hey, d-do you have an *appointment* to speak to the Rock, is that it?
:'''Coach''': Rock, Rock, we go back-
:'''The Rock''': ''[stammering mockingly]'' Ah, shut up, Coach, let the Rock check the People's Palm Pilot! ''[holding up his hand]'' Ka-kow! ''[looking at his empty hand]'' How's Wednesday?
:'''Coach''': No, We-Wednesday doesn't work for me-
:'''The Rock''': Wednesday ''works''! You and your Rock-wannabe haircut, get out of the Rock's face! Who cut your hair? Ray Charles? Beat it! Wash ya ass! ''[Coach reluctantly leaves. The Rock goes back inside his locker room]'' Rock can't be ''dealing'' with that! The Rock has got a very big night; millions and millions of the Rock's fans waiting for him! ''[the crowd boos]'' The Rock said, millions and millions of the Rock's fans, waiting for him! ''[the crowd boos again, louder]'' Where's the Rock's guitar? The Rock has gotta soothe his soul, he's gotta sing a ''song''! ''[walks over to one of the curtains]'' The Rock's gotta sing a song, baby! Wh- ''[pulls the curtain back, only to see the Hurricane sitting in the closet behind the curtain]'' Heh...excuse the Rock one second. ''[closes the curtain, throws off his shades, ponders, and shakes his head, grinning]'' Nah. ''[chuckling]'' Nah. ''[turns back around and pulls back the curtain again. The Hurricane jumps out of the closet and stands on the other side of the Rock]''
:'''The Hurricane''': Holy...hypocrite! Just last week, you challenged Stone Cold Steve Austin to meet you, face-to-face, and yet this week, you got Eric Bischoff and his criminal committee doing all your dastardly work. What's up wit dat??
:'''The Rock''' ''[looking back to the curtain, then back at the Hurricane, clearing his throat]'': How long...have you been sitting in there? Huh? W-w-watching the Rock all night long, w-w-walking around here naked?! Oh, no, don't a - don't answer that, no-no-no, don't answer that! Tell you what. The Rock's glad you're here. The Rock's glad you're here, because - I wanted to talk to you. The Rock - the Rock, he was gonna go looking for you. Do you remember last week when you came, waltzin' in to the Rock's locker, you remember that? Yeah. And you talk - and you talk about how, how, how the Hurricane, could just whip the Scorpion King's ass! Yeah, you remember that? And you also talk, talk about how the Hurricane could just, could just gonna toss the Rock over the top rope, remember that? Well, if the Rock's memory serves him correctly, it was ''the Rock'' that tossed your little Hamburglar monkey ass right over the top rope. Remember that? Made you with all your friends; you had Grimace, and-and-and Mayor McCheese, Ronald McDonald, all them! Yeah! Remember that? More importantly than that, more importantly than that...when the Rock tossed you over the top rope, he was screaming something; the Rock was screaming something very important in your ear. Do you remember what the Rock was screaming?
:'''The Hurricane''': I remember you screaming. But it was when Booker T threw ''yo' '' ass over the top rope that you were screaming! ''[demonstrating how the Rock was thrown over the top rope]'' Like this!
:'''The Rock''': Don't do that. ''[The Hurricane demonstrates again]'' ''[stammering]'' No, none of that! Hey! Hey! ''[addressing the crowd]'' Hey-hey, stop cheering! ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' Hey, he didn't throw - no, he didn't! You hear the Rock, he didn't throw - Booker T didn't throw the Rock over the top rope, the Rock ''tripped'' over the top rope, that's what happened. ''[to the crowd]'' Yeah, that's what happened! ''[the crowd boos]'' Oh, the Rock ''said'' that's what happened! ''[the crowd boos again]'' Let the Rock, l-l-let the Rock, let the Rock remind you of something! Let the Rock remind you of something: you ain't nothin'! You ain't nothin'! You ain't no superhero, not like the Scorpion King! You're 100 pounds of nothin'! 5-feet-nothin'! Oh, excuse the Rock one second, excuse the Rock, ''[taking his cell phone out of his pocket]'' his cell phone's goin' off! Oh, yeah! Oh... ''[&quot;answering&quot; his cell phone]'' Ka-kow, hello? Hey, it's Nothing, he says he knows you! ''[putting his cell phone back into his pocket]'' You're nothin'! ''[to the crowd]'' Oh, don't laugh at the Rock's jokes! ''[to the Hurricane]'' Cause you're nothin'! You're no - and, as a superhero... ''[chuckling]'' you've got braces! ''[The Hurricane begrudgingly smiles to reveal the braces on his teeth]'' You've got braces - what, wh-what are you, the president of student council? Is that what you're gonna do? What, are you gonna go sell band candy after the show? ''[laughing]'' Get your little Hamburglar green monkey ass out of the - before you leave, before you leave, before you go flyin' out, you do all that...uh, unrealistic crap, let the Rock remind you of something: the Rock, when he threw you over the top rope, he was saying to you, he was screaming to you, he was screaming to you, he said, hey! The greatest line, a superhero has ever said, the Scorpion King! He said, &quot;haku machente, da&quot;! &quot;Haku machente, ah!&quot;, do you remember that? Do you have any idea what that means? Do you have any idea, can you fathom, how-how enormous that is? Do you know what &quot;haku machente&quot; means?
:'''The Hurricane''': Well, apparently, from what I saw behind that curtain, it means &quot;the Scorpion King's got a tiny ding-a-ling&quot;!
:'''The Rock''' ''[horrified]'': AAHH!! AHH! No! No! Ahh! No - ''[stammering]'' - hey, whoa-whoa-whoa, I mean, there's a reason they call the Rock &quot;The Rock&quot;! Oh, yeah! ''[patting his leg]'' E-easy, big fella! Oh, yeah. Ah, no! No! That - ''[to the crowd]'' - stop laughing! ''[to the Hurricane, stammering]'' You know, I tell ya - how 'bout back to reality, a place that you clearly have no idea where that's at, because you are clearly insane? Let the Rock ask you this: what do - what do you want? What do you want?
:'''The Hurricane''': I'm here, Rock, because I figured you out. You're a coward! You're afraid of Steve Austin! You're afraid of Stone Cold! That's why you got Eric Bischoff to do all your dirty work today. You see, you talk a big game, and your gums, they do flap, but it would appear, that you're full of Brahma bull CRAP! ''[&quot;flies&quot; his way out of the Rock's locker room again]''
:'''The Rock''': Hey-hey-hey, the Rock ain't scared, of nobody! Nobody! ''[looking down at his pants]'' You are ''still'' the man! You are still, you are...

=== March 31 ===
:'''Jim Ross''': Glad you're happy about it. Folks, I'll tell you what, as long as I live, as long as I live, I'll never ver - gonna forget March 31, 2003 because, although Eric Bischoff has done the worst thing that any human being, he has, he has robbed Austin of his dreams, of his livelihood. And let me say this. And understand what I'm telling you. And I'm on record for this. Eric Bischoff is a no good, lousy, son of a bitch.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Hey hey hey! Easy!
:'''Ross''': That's exactly what he is! And how he got Austin's records, I'll never know. But he's a no good bastard for what he did, for taking Austin right out of the ball game for medical reasons. He's ruined his dreams, he couldn't beat him, he can't find anybody to beat him, and this is what he's done! And he oughta burn in hell for it!

=== May 12 ===
:''[The Dudley Boyz just trashed 3-Minute Warning for almost beating up Classy Freddie Blassie, but....]''
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Whoa whoa whoa, stop it right there. Stop it right there. Classy Freddie Blassie got something he wants to say.
:'''Freddie Blassie''': D-Von, get the table!
:'''Austin''': You heard the man. D-Von get the table!!! ''[Dudleys prepare the table for Rico]''

=== July 14 ===
:''[After Kane sets Jim Ross on fire]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''' ''[walking out into the arena]'': Damn you, Steve Austin! Damn you anyway! How do you feel now? Are you proud of yourself now, Austin? How did that make you feel?! That wasn't Kane who put the match to Jim Ross! That wasn't Kane who poured gasoline on him! That wasn't Kane who set Jim Ross on fire, dammit! It was YOU! This is YOUR fault! Yours and yours alone! And I've got news for you; I got a call from Linda McMahon! Next week, in Los Angeles, in the ring you're standing in right now, she is going to fire your ass! Fire you! Damn you to hell anyway, Steve Austin! Damn, you, straight, to, hell!!! You rotten bastard!

=== December 8 ===
:''[Raw co-general manager Mick Foley stands in the ring with a clipboard as the crowd chants his name]''
:'''Mick''': You know, when I took over as co-general manager of ''Raw'', I did so with the intention of making things right. ''[the crowd cheers]'' Now if, at Armageddon, Ric Flair were to become involved in the Randy Orton-RVD match, well then that certainly would not be right. So I've decided that that matchup at Armageddon needs a special guest referee...
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Uh-oh.
:'''Mick''': ...and after consulting with myself for several hours I've decided that that special guest referee is going to be: me, Mick Foley.
:'''Jerry''': What?
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh, Mick!
:''[the crowd cheers]''
:'''Mick''': Thank you. Now, another thing I'd like to make right, is the reinstatement to ''Raw'' of Stone Cold Steve Austin. ''[the crowd cheers louder]''
:'''Jim''': He started that petition drive last week.
:'''Mick''': Last week, I brought out a petition; as of now, we have over half a million signatures saying, &quot;We want Stone Cold back on ''Raw''!&quot; ''[the crowd keeps cheering]''
:'''Jim''': It was on the Internet-
:'''Mick''': But we need more. So I brought out another petition, so that tonight, in Anaheim, California...
:''[suddenly he is interrupted by La Résistance's music, and René Duprée and Rob Conway make their way out to the ring, both brandishing French flags]''
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh, wait a minute.
:'''Jim''': La Résistance. And La Résistance, of course, were embarrassed and humiliated last week, being fired for a few minutes because, well, they - they didn't recite the Pledge of Allegiance for the flag of the United States of America!
:'''Jerry''': Well, René didn't. That was great, Mick Foley tried to make La Résistance say the Pledge of Allegiance. Well, they're killing Mick Foley's buzz here, what are they - what are they doing out here?
:'''Jim''': They earn their money in this country, why can't they...do the right thing? I mean - Conway's not French, he's a French sympathizer!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as Conway takes a mic]'': Speaking of the right thing, look at - look at Foley's shoes!
:'''Rob''': Hold on...you say you're out here to make things right? ''[the crowd starts a &quot;USA&quot; chant]'' You call humiliating us last week on live TV &quot;making things right&quot;?
:'''René''' ''[taking the mic]'': Well, you're not right! Look at you, Mick Foley, you're nothing but a joke! ''[to the crowd]'' And America is a joke as well!
:''[the crowd boos]''
:'''Jerry''': Wait a minute.
:'''René''': You really think if the French would have gone to Iraq, we would not have found the weapons of mass destruction? Hell, the war would have been over!
:'''Jim and Jerry''': What?!
:'''René''': Because everybody knows that the French are not only better lovers...we are better fighters as well.
:'''Jim''': Come on!
:'''Rob''': You see, Mick, Eric Bischoff had assured us that our jobs are safe. So it's our turn to humiliate ''you'', starting with you saluting the French flag...
:''[the crowd boos]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, come on!
:'''Rob''': ...right here, right now!
:'''Jerry''': Like, Eric Bischoff said their jobs are safe?
:'''René''': And if you don't, ''je te pitié, mon ami'', we will intro you to a beating, French-style.
:'''Mick''': Wait a second, let me get this straight: you want me to salute the French flag, right here, right now? ''[looks to the crowd, who boos and tries to dissuade him]''
:'''Jerry''': Let's make a bet on that!
:'''Mick''': Listen, wait-wait, you know...I have - I have nothing against French things. I-I like French fries...I like, I like French toast...
:'''Jerry''': Yeah!
:'''Mick''': I like, I even like French's mustard!
:'''Jerry''': Ah!
:'''Mick''': But I don't like ''you''. ''[pointing his finger at Duprée and backing him into a corner]'' So if you think you're gonna beat the crap out of me, you go ahead, but I sure as hell am not gonna stand here in Anaheim, California - ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' - of the United States of America, and salute that damn flag! You think you can beat the crap out of me, you bring it on now, but I'm not saluting the French flag!
:'''René''': Well, ''c'est la vie'', Mick Foley! We have no problem with, how do you say, kicking your ass! ''[he and Conway drop their flags]''
:'''Mick''': Bring it on! ''[both he and Duprée drop their mics]''
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh, look out now!
:'''Jim''' ''[as La Résistance back Foley into a corner]'' : It's two-on-one here!
:'''Jerry''': There goes Mick's suit!
:''[suddenly, the Rock's music hits and the crowd begins to cheer]''
:'''Jim''': What?
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Jim''': WHAT? WHAT??
:'''Jerry''': What the hell is this, JR?!
:'''Jim''': What the hell is-
:''[The Rock comes out to a loud ovation]''
:'''Jerry''': AAAHHH!!
:'''Jim''': My God! Oh my God, it's the Rock!!
:'''Jerry''': The Rock!!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock makes his way to the ring]'': The Great One is here!! And he's all-American!
:'''Jerry''': The Rock!
:'''Jim''': My God, these fans are on their feet! We are live in Anaheim! This is electrifying!
:'''Jerry''': I - I can't believe what I'm seeing, JR! It's the Rock!
:'''Jim''': Mick Foley was about to be - about to be assaulted by La Résistance, these, these Frenchmen!
:'''Jerry''': Look at these fans!
:'''Jim''': The roar of this crowd, ladies and gentlemen, is just deafening here!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock takes a mic]'': JR, it's the Rock!
:'''Jim''': I can't...I can't believe what I'm seeing! ''[the music stops and the crowd does a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant before continuing cheering]'' Man, this is a ''Raw'' moment.
:''[after a moment of taking in the cheers, the Rock finally holds up his mic]''
:'''The Rock''': Finally... The Rock has come back to Anaheim!
:'''Jerry''': Oh yes! It's the Rock!
:'''The Rock''': See, let the Rock clear something up, the Rock came out here tonight to surprise his friend Mick Foley; the Rock came out to surprise, the millions...
:'''The crowd''': And millions!
:'''The Rock''': ...of the Rock's fans...but see, the Rock is a little confused; he's confused, you see, because the Rock knows everybody here. The Rock knows Mick Foley, the Rock knows the people... ''[the crowd cheers loudly]'' ...the Rock knows Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross...
:'''Jerry''': Hey-hey!
:'''The Rock''': Yeah. Yeah. The Rock knows Lilian Garcia! ''[Lilian waves at the Rock]'' How you doing, honey?
:'''Jerry''': Uh-oh!
:'''The Rock''': You still like the strudel?
:'''Jerry''': Oh! ''[Lilian smiles sheepishly and the Rock laughs]'' How else does the Rock know Lilian?
:''[the crowd starts a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant again]''
:'''The Rock''': The Rock knows every - ''[gesturing to the cameraman in the corner]'' - the Rock knows Marty, the cross-dressing cameraman right here, he knows him. ''[indicating the cameraman]'' Don't worry, your secret's safe with the Rock; you see, the Rock, the Rock doesn't know, the Rock doesn't know two people. The Rock doesn't know you two. So help the Rock. Tell the Rock, exactly, who in the blue hell are you two French popcorn farts anyway?
:'''Jerry''': Ahh!
:'''The Rock''' ''[as Duprée starts to reply]'': It doesn't matter who you are!! ''[the crowd cheers]'' You thi - you actually think the Rock gives a monkey's nutsack what Pepé Le Pew number 1 and number 2 have to say?
:'''Jerry''': Pepé Le Pew?!
:'''The Rock''': You come out here running your mouth, running your mouth to Mick Foley about how you're gonna beat him French-style? What the hell is that, what are you gonna do, French kiss him to death, is that what you're gonna do? Look at you two - the Rock knows, the Rock knows you two are little Fifi, anyway!
:'''Jerry''': Fifi??
:'''Jim''': What was that, &quot;Fifi&quot;?
:''[the crowd begins a &quot;Fifi&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': Fifi chant!
:'''Jim''': La Résistance didn't like that a bit.
:'''The Rock''': The Rock asks you, come out here running your French mouths, let the Rock ask you one question: how's your lips? ''[Duprée and Conway look confused]''
:'''Jerry''': Lips?
:'''The Rock''': How's your lips?; how do you like your lips? You like 'em where they are?, because if you keep running your mouth, the Rock and Mick Foley are gonna slap your lips right off your French faces! And there'll be two sets of lips laying right here, flopping around like fish, and, hold on a second, you're gonna - ''[talking without his lips]'' you're gonna be like that - ''[back to normal]'' and what the Rock is gonna do, the Rock and Mick Foley are gonna pick up your French lips, and make you kiss our American asses! 
:''[the crowd cheers and starts another &quot;USA&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': JR, this is the greatest - look at the fun these fans are having!
:'''Jim''': This is ''Monday Night Raw'', man, everybody's having a great time tonight!
:'''The Rock''': And let the Rock tell you one more thing -
:'''René''': No, no, no, no, no more &quot;one thing&quot;, you listen to me, Rocky! ''[the crowd boos]'' You show us some respect, ''tout de suite''! Because this Sunday at Armageddon, at the Tag Team Turmoil, ''Rocky'', me and my partner Robért Conway are gonna become the new World Tag Team Champions. How do you like that, Rocky?
:'''The Rock''': First of all, Frenchy, I am not &quot;Rocky&quot;! The name, is the Rock! And - and here's another thing; oh, the Rock knows about Armageddon, the Rock is excited about Armageddon! Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah! But see, you two, you two candyasses, you're not gonna win the tag team titles, you know why? Number 1: you're French. Number 2: you suck, exactly.
:'''Jerry''': French ''and'' they suck! They would probably surrender before the match starts!
:'''The Rock''': And here's another thing: you actually had the nerve to say the French army went to Iraq, they would've found weapons of mass destruction, the war would've been over? That what you said? Well, let the Rock explain this, let me, the Ro-Rock explain this: you see, the French army would've went into Iraq, would've went to Russia, China, if the French army would've come right here to Orange County, the exact same thing - the exact same thing would've happened. The French general would've walked right up to the enemy and would've said this: ''[speaking in mock French accent]'' &quot;Oh, we are so sorry! We are so sorry! Oh, don't hurt us, no-no-no-no-no, we so sorry! Oh, we make you crème brûlée! You like to pet our poodle?&quot;
:'''Jerry''': Poodle?!
:'''The Rock''': See, so you understand, the only thing strong about the French army is their damn body odor.
:'''Jim''': Ooh!
:'''The Rock''': And I'll tell you what, you run your mouth, you wanna beat up on Mick Foley or try to beat on Mick Foley, two-on-one, well now, live on ''Raw'', you can try and show us how tough you are, two-on-''two''!
:'''Jim''': Oh my, here we go!
:'''Jerry''': Here we go!
:'''Jim''': Now you're talkin'!
:'''Mick''': And mark my words, you don't wanna mess with the Sock &amp; Rock Connection!
:'''Jerry''': Oh no, no - not ''that'' again, JR!
:'''The Rock''': You damn right, you bet your ass - ''[turning to Foley]'' what did you just say?
:'''Mick''': The Sock and Rock...
:'''The Rock''': No, no, no, no, Mick...thank you, it's the ''Rock'' and Sock Connection!
:'''Jerry''': Oh!
:''[Duprée and Conway begin attacking the Rock and Foley]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, wait!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''': La Résistance has heard all the talking! A cheap shot on the Rock! One on Foley! And here we go!
:'''Jerry''': These French guys are nuttier than I thought, I can't believe that they're doing this!
:''[Duprée and Conway throw the Rock over the top rope]''
:'''Jim''': The Rock thrown over the top rope to the outside, and Mick Foley now trying to fight off two men; La Résistance hammering Mick Foley back to the corner! René...René Duprée and Rob Conway, stomping the hell out of Mick Foley!
:'''Jerry''': This is not right! These French are supposed to suck!
:''[The Rock comes back into the ring]''
:'''Jim''': Bischoff gave these men permission to assault Foley, and here comes the Rock!
:''[The Rock clotheslines Conway, then turns his attention to Duprée]''
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock chops on Duprée]'' : The Rock, opening up on right hands! ''[The Rock clotheslines Duprée over the top rope]'' The Brahma Bull just beheaded René Dupree!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock then grabs Conway]'': It's vintage Rock! Are you ready? ''[Conway gets hit with the Rock Bottom]'' Rock Bottom!
:'''Jim''': The Rock Bottom! ''[as Conway rolls out of the ring, Duprée comes back in and knocks down the Rock from behind]'' And up from behind! Duprée again! ''[Duprée does a little dance in the ring]'' And the arrogant, cocky young Frenchman!
:'''Jerry''': Oh, no!
:'''Jim''': What a stupid dance! ''[suddenly the Rock kips back up and stands behind Duprée]'' And the Rock is up!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock goes back on the attack]'' Right hands by the Rock! And Duprée is reeling!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock hits a big right hand in the corner]'': Ohh!
:'''Jim''': Another big right hand, by the Brahma Bull!
:''[Foley is back up as he then puts Mr. Socko on his right hand]''
:'''Jerry''': I bet the Rock is gonna -
:'''Jim''': Oh no!
:'''Jerry''': Aahhh!
:''[Foley gives Duprée the Mandible Claw with Mr. Socko on his hand]''
:'''Jim''': Socko! Socko! ''[Foley pushes Duprée over to the Rock, who then hits him with a spinebuster]'' That Mandible Claw and the spinebuster slam!
:'''Jerry''': Whoa, wait a minute...are we gonna see it here one more time on ''Raw''?
:'''Jim''': This huge crowd here in Anaheim -
:'''Jerry''': Yes! It's the most electrifying move in all of sports entertainment - ''[The Rock hits the People's Elbow on Duprée]'' - the People's Elbow!
:'''Jim''': The People's Elbow found its mark! The Rock &amp; Sock Conne - oh, wait a minute! ''[Conway runs back into the ring, only to be hit with a spinebuster as well]'' Another spinebuster! It's not over yet!
:'''Jerry''': These French punks won't quit! ''[Foley is volunteering to the Rock to get the next hit]'' Oh, no, wait a minute! It's Foley's turn! Yeah, go ahead!
:'''Jim''': Well, they are the Rock &amp; Sock Connection! Mick Foley...
:'''Jerry''' ''[as Foley runs back and forth between the ropes]'': It's the most awkward, unathletic-looking...
:''[Foley then hits Mr. Elbow on Conway, down low]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, down there in the nether lands! Mick Foley dropped that elbow, it wasn't artistic, but it was effective!
:''[Foley pics the mic back up as Conway rolls back out of the ring in pain; the crowd does a &quot;Rocky&quot; chant]''
:'''Jerry''': This is amazing!
:'''Mick''': You two clowns...you two clowns better run...if you smell, la-la-la-la -
:''[The Rock snatches the mic from Foley's hand as Lawler is chuckling audibly]''
:'''The Rock''': The Rock's got a lot of love for you, Mick; don't you ''ever'', and the Rock means ''ever'', steal the Rock's catchphrases.
:'''Jerry''' ''[as the Rock poses for his catchphrase]'': This is the way you do it right here.  It's patented, it's trademark!
:'''The Rock''': ...if you smeeellll, la-la-la-la-laowww, what the Rock is cooking! ''[drops the mic]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Jim''' ''[as the Rock and Foley pose for the crowd]'': The Rock and Sock Connection, making their presence felt, on these arrogant and quite unprofessional La Résistance members!
:'''Jerry''': Boy, ''Monday Night Raw'' can certainly smell what the Rock is cook - can you believe it, JR? The Rock's on ''Raw''!
:'''Jim''': And it's all live, before your very eyes; that's why ''Monday Night Raw'' is the flagship of the WWE! The Rock and Sock Connection, what a reunion tonight!
:'''Jerry''': Unbeliev - uh-oh.
:''[The Rock picks up Foley's clipboard from the canvas and proceeds to sign the petition before walking out]''
:'''Jim''': And look at the Rock, he's signing that petition...
:'''Jerry''': Yes! To bring back Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': The Rock signed the petition to bring back the Texas Rattlesnake! What a moment!
:'''Jerry''': What a night!
:'''Jim''': And this night is far from over! The Great One, the Rock, the Rock &amp; Sock Connection! The Rock surprised all of us; what a shocker!

===December 15===
:''[Evolution is on the stage with all the championships they won at Armageddon the night prior]''
:'''Triple H''': All along, I promised you that Evolution would change the face of sports entertainment. ''[crowd boos]'' Last night, at Armageddon, Evolution fulfilled that promise! Because in one night, in one clean sweep, we took all the gold. ''[looks at Randy Orton]'' Intercontinental Champion, ''[looks at Ric Flair and Batista]'' World Tag Team Champions, and World Heavyweight Champion. ''[raises World Heavyweight Championship]'' And Goldberg, all your fans, they all wanted to believe the hype. But let me explain to you like this: I'm Triple H, I am The Game, and with me, ''[laughs]'' with me, there is no hype necessary. Tonight, everybody learns to live under Evolution's golden rule. And that is, we have all the gold, so we make all the rules. ''[Evolution raises their respective championships]''

==2004==
===February 16===
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': It turns out Eric Bischoff made a decision regarding the World title at WrestleMania, but I guess, uh, he was too afraid to come out here and tell you to your face because maybe he might piss you off. But since I don't give a rat's ass what you think, I'll come out here and make the announcement myself. So for the first time in history, the World Heavyweight Championship will be decided at WrestleMania, Madison Square Garden, March 14, in a Triple Threat match.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What?! What?!
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my god!
:'''Austin''': Triple H versus Chris Benoit versus Shawn Michaels. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!

===February 23===
:''[Vince McMahon is choking Eric Bischoff outside the ring as Stone Cold Steve Austin watches]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Hey wait, what the hell?!
:'''Jerry Lawler''': What? ''[Brock Lesnar is in the ring standing behind Austin]'' Oh my god!
:'''Ross''': My god it's, it's Brock Lesnar!
:'''Lawler''': Austin! Look behind you!
:'''Ross''': ''[Lesnar lifts Austin up on his shoulders]'' Stone Cold up!
:'''Lawler''': Oh!
:'''Ross''': Lesnar! ''[Lesnar delivers an F5 to Austin]'' Brock Lesnar from ''SmackDown!'' just F5'd the hell out of Stone Cold! Lesnar's got no business being here! This is not ''SmackDown!'', this is ''Raw''!
:'''Lawler''': What the?! I cannot believe this! Brock Lesnar F5'd Stone Cold Steve Austin! What does this mean?!
:'''Ross''': What the hell is going on?! What is Lesnar doing here?! Brock Lesnar, from behind! It's Lesnar standing over Austin! My god what has, what has happened here?! What has happened here??!

===May 24===
:''[Eric Bischoff has had enough of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, who are being restrained by other wrestlers from mauling each other in the ring]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': That is it, that is enough! Triple H, Shawn Michaels...at Bad Blood, it is going to be has a.. ''[Triple H breaks out and attacks Shawn and the wrestlers still push to stop them]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Well. look out! He's loose!
:'''Jim Ross''': Triple H breaking loose before Bischoff had to finish what he was gonna say.
:'''Lawler''': Triple H is a man of his word. He said he's gonna destroy Michaels here tonight, he'll do it!
:'''Bischoff''': ENOUGH!! ''[everybody stops]'' At Bad Blood, it will be Triple H versus Shawn Michaels... HELL... IN A CELL!!!
:'''Lawler''': Oh boy!
:'''Ross''': Oh my God, oh my- that's what Michaels wanted! Hell in a Cell!!

===June 14===
:''[Jim Ross brings together HHH and Shawn Michaels after their Hell in a Cell match at Bad Blood]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Gentlemen, I, along with all these fans here, totally understand the physical condition that you're in. I hope that you will totally conduct yourself in the spirit of why you were asked to be here. I must say that in 30 years of broadcasting this great game that your match last night at the Hell in a Cell will live for generations to come. But Shawn, Triple H, it's time for this to end. I am respectfully, respectfully asking you two men to shake hands, to officially signify the end of the most storified rivalry in the WWE so that you may both get on with your lives. 
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[on commentary as HHH and Shawn get closer and JR distances]'' I don't know... that don't look good on paper, I don't think thats gonna... So much history, so much hatred between these two men, who one time were best friends, closer than brothers. I wonder who's gonna extend their hand first, I think Shawn ''[Shawn reaches out]'' You think this should happen? ''[HHH moves to shake hands but Eric Bischoff's theme plays and he steps out]''

== 2005 ==
=== February 21 ===

:'''Triple H''': Can you believe this?
:'''Ric Flair''': No.
:'''Triple H''': It's supposed to be the biggest night in Batista's career. It's supposed to be the biggest night in the history of Evolution, Ric. This is the first night, this is where it all happens. You and I are gonna run this business, and it all starts tonight. After everything we've done for him, and tonight of all nights, he has the guts to be over two hours late?
:'''Ric''': Champ, you have bent over backwards for him! You created Batista! You made him! You put him in a position to make a huge amount of impact on this industry! You did it!
:'''Triple H''': I've done more than you even know.
:'''Ric''': You have?
:'''Triple H''': Yeah.
:'''Ric''': Like what? Stuff I don't know?
:'''Triple H''': You know how hard it is to get footage from ''SmackDown!'' of JBL and Big Show, and get it put into ''Raw''? It's not easy. And do you know how hard it is to find a white limousine and get those ''stupid'' big horns put on the front to make Dave think that JBL was trying to run him over?
:'''Ric''': Wait, wait, wait, wait, ''you'' orchestrated that last week, the limousine almost running over Dave?
:'''Triple H''': Hey, relax, relax, hold on. Now, it's not like I was trying to have him killed. I was just trying to light a fire under him, for his own good. Listen, sometimes, Dave is not smart enough to know what's good for him. Just trying to ensure that he made the right decision tonight ''[Ric's jaw drops]'' and went to ''SmackDown!''.
:'''Ric''': Oh...my...God, there have been times when I thought you were a genius, I've even told people you were a genius, but now, I know you're a genius! God, that's the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life! You know that?! Oh my God, WOO! WOO! No wonder they call you the Cerebral Assassin! Champ, that's the greatest move I've ever seen, and I've been around a long time.
:'''Triple H''': Ric! Yeah, it's a great plan, but it's all for nothing if the big idiot gets here tonight and decides to be selfish and stay on ''Raw''. Batista needs to do what's right for Evolution. What's right for Evolution is right for Batista, and what's right for Batista is for him to go to ''SmackDown!''. ''[Camera begins pulling back]'' Now, when he gets here, we need to make sure...
:'''Ric''': You are clever beyond the word &quot;clever.&quot; You are a gen... You may be the most intelligent human being I've ever met in my life.
:''[As Ric speaks, it is revealed that Batista has been listening outside the door]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Batista, before you...you make any decisions, there's a couple things I want to say. By signing this contract, two things are going to happen. First and foremost, you remain with ''Raw'', the flagship program, the #1 brand in all of sports entertainments, and the brand that made you a superstar. ''Raw'' is a brand that'll give your career stability, because unlike ''other'' general managers ''[looks at Theodore Long]'', my job is not in jeopardy. But more importantly, by signing this contract, it means that you'll face Triple H one-on-one for the Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania! It's the dream of every superstar in our business, to face Triple H, a man who is arguably one of the biggest names in the history of our industry. A man that, even the Nature Boy, he says it best. Ric Flair says it best: to be the man, you gotta beat that man, Triple H! ''[Triple H shakes his head at Batista]'' And this is your opportunity. So Batista, this isn't really a question. It's a simple thing. Sign the contract, reach your dreams.
:'''Theodore Long''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, just a minute. Just a minute. Now, Batista, actually, there is a choice. Now, you can sign ''this'' contract and come to ''SmackDown!''. Now, we all... You can't tell me that you didn't feel the electricity when you walked out on No Way Out last night. Now, we all saw what you could do to the WWE Champion, JBL. We also saw the magic when you stared John Cena in the eye.
:Now think about this, Batista. John Cena, Batista, the two hottest commodities in the WWE on the same show. In fact, you two could start your own rivalry. It could be the biggest rivalry since Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. Now, not only is it JBL and John Cena waiting for you at ''SmackDown!'', it's Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. And think about this: one day, it could be Batista one-on-one with the Undertaker!
:But you know something, player? In order for this to happen, you have to sign ''this'' contract. Now, you beat JBL, you beat John Cena in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania 21, and I assure you that your career will blow up on ''SmackDown!''. Now, it's time for you to make that decision, player.
:''[Theodore hands the contract to Batista, who now holds both. He grabs the pen on the ''SmackDown!'' contract]''
:'''Triple H''': Dave, this shouldn't be a very difficult decision for you, 'cause there's really only one person that you need to listen to. See, because it's not ''[looks at Eric]'' what's best for ''Raw'', ''[turns to Theodore]'' and it's not about what's best for ''SmackDown!''. It's about one thing, big man. It's about what's best for you. It's about what's best for Batista, man. And I don't want you to worry about Ric and myself, 'cause hey, what's best for Batista will be best for Evolution.
:I want you to picture something, Dave. Imagine this. It's WrestleMania 21, it's all said and done, and I'm standing in the middle of this ring ''still'' the World Heavyweight Champion, and standing right next to me is the new WWE Champion, Batista. Think about it, Dave. We would rule the world. We would answer to no one, man. Everything we ever dreamed of. You know how big that is?
:Think about it like this. It's 1986, the Four Horsemen are running wild, Ric Flair is the NWA Champion! But what if...what if Arn Anderson were the WWE Champion, huh? They would've been unstoppable. But it never happened.
:Think about it like this. DX in our prime, on top of our game, Shawn Michaels is the WWE Champion! What if I had been the WCW Champion? We could have written history. You see that, Dave? But it never happened. You and I, you and I have an opportunity to make history, and we owe it to ourselves to do it.
:Now, Dave, I don't want you to be concerned about Bradshaw, I don't want you to be concerned about Cena, because I know deep inside of my heart, you could beat both those guys at the same time like that. You see, Dave, we have an opportunity to do the greatest thing that has ever been done in this industry. We owe it to ourselves, we owe it to the world, you and I, to walk that aisle with the &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair, side-by-side, owning this business.
:Doesn't seem like a difficult decision to me at all, Dave. It really doesn't. And I've got a feeling...you know what you want to do, big man. Don't you? You know what you want to do.
:'''Batista''': Hunter, I've known what I was gonna do for a long time.
:''[Batista looks at the contracts and throws the ''Raw'' contract to the ground. Eric lowers his head in sadness. Triple H and Ric cheer Batista, giving him thumbs up. Batista gives one right back, then slowly turns it down. He attacks both, tossing Ric out of the ring]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Ooh, Batista!
:'''Jerry''': What is he doing?!
:'''Jim Ross''': My god, Batista, the thumbs-down to the world's champion! Evolution's Animal!
:'''Jerry''' He almost took Triple H's head off, and he's dumped Naitch out of the ring! Wait a minute! ''[Batista sets Triple H up...]'' Wait a minute, Batista, what are you doing?! If you do this, there's no turning back! No!
:''[Batista powerbombs Triple H through the table]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh my God Almighty! What a big powerbomb through the table! The world's champion through the table!
:''[Batista picks up the ''Raw'' contract and signs it over Triple H's prone body]''
:'''Batista''': Hunter, I'm staying right here on ''Raw'', and at WrestleMania, I'm taking the World Championship... ''[tosses contract clipboard at HHH]'' from you!
:'''Jim Ross''': Well, the deal is done. The untamed spirit of the animal known as Batista has made his decision. Batista will stay on ''Raw'', and Batista will go to WrestleMania 21. And if the deal is set and granted, Batista will come for the world's title against The Game, and it's gonna happen at WrestleMania 21.

=== February 28 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': I came out here with an agenda tonight, to make a statement. And the reason is that WrestleMania 21 is less than five weeks away. We've already announced some of the biggest matches in Mania history. From Batista vs. Triple H for the World Championship, from Cena to JBL for the WWE Championship, Michaels has challenged Angle, Hogan's in the Hall of Fame, Stone Cold Steve Austin on ''Piper's Pit''. Everybody wants to make an impact, so do I; everybody wants to be a part of history, so do I. I have an idea for a match to do that. {{W|Money in the Bank ladder match|It's a match that involves Y2J, five other elite WWE Superstars, a chance of a lifetime, and most importantly, one very big solid steel ladder.}}

=== May 16 ===
:''[Jonathan Coachman and Eric Bischoff have just shut down Chris Benoit and Tajiri's ECW Rules match]''
:'''Jonathan Coachman''': Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it! Stop this match right now! General Manager Eric Bischoff has been informed about what's going on out here. So the Coach would suggest that you climb down off that ladder, Chris Benoit, and listen up.
:''[Eric Bischoff's music hits and Eric Bischoff shows up]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Thank you, Coach. I wish I would've listened to you a little earlier because apparently, you two arranged for this match while I was busy attending other matters. Well, Benoit, you can get down off that ladder because I am officially ending this match right now! ''[audience boos]'' Look! Look! I never sanctioned any ECW match and I never would because ECW is pure garbage. As a matter of fact, from this moment on, I am banning ECW from ''Raw''. Oh, listen up! It will not be chanted in the building. It will not be discussed in the locker room. And then, if I see one ECW sign in my building, I will have it confiscated! And to make my point, I'm going to prohibit anybody from the Raw roster from participating at ECW's One Night Stand. Hell, I am going to ban the letters ECW from ''Raw''. And let me be perfectly clear, the only participation Raw is going to have at ECW's One Night Stand is when I personally show up with my volunteered group of Raw superstars and put an end to ECW once and for all.

===May 23===
:'''Jim Ross''': We're back here live at Green Bay on Monday Night RAW, the ECW Funeral.
:'''Jerry Lawler''': Take it off. Take your hat off, JR, it's a funeral, for Chrissakes!

=== August 8 ===

:'''Jim Ross''': What do you think about Mr. McMahon rehiring Matt Hardy?
:'''Edge''': JR, what do I think about Vince McMahon's decision, Mr. McMahon's decision to rehire Matt Hardy? You know what? I think it's genius. Yeah. It's a moneymaking match. Here's a little known fact, though. You see, I actually went to Vince and I asked him to rehire Matt. Yeah. You see, because, with what I want to do to Matt Hardy, if I did that on the streets, what I'm gonna do at SummerSlam, I'd be in jail. You see, at SummerSlam, you're gonna witness legalized assault. Which is why I resent us being sequestered into this dressing room. You know, Matt Hardy has been re-signed to ''Raw'' and the lunatic is running around. Well, ''he's'' the one out of control, not me. But that's fine, that's cool, and Eric Bischoff wants to put security guards on the door, to protect us. We don't need the protection, he does! So I'm gonna ask them to leave, I want them to go. Yeah. I want them to get out of here, because Matt, I'm begging, I'm PLEADING, I want you to come in here. Come into the dressing room, come on BARGING in. Because you know what'll happen? You'll probably ''[mockingly]'' break down and have yourself a little cry, won't you Matt?
:You see, I saw your promo last week, Matt, and I think it was PATHETIC! It was absolutely pathetic, after all the months of dragging our names through the mud, our personal lives out there for everyone to see, AND THAT'S ALL YOU CAN MUSTER UP FROM YOUR STOMACH, FROM YOUR GUTS?! Well, my hands are shaking and it's from hate, it's from real emotion, Matt! ''[Points at his eyes]'' This is passion, this is intensity! This is real!
:I see why Lita left you for me. You know, you said last week you wanted me to get into a car accident. You see, for me, it's the opposite. I want you to be nice and safe, Matt. You get in the car and you strap that seat belt in tight. I want you 100%. Because at SummerSlam, I'm going to prove that you don't measure up to me as a man to me in any way. In any way. You whined and complained, and you bitched and moaned last week saying Lita was the girl of your dreams. You wanted to marry her. Matt, you were with her for six years but you never proposed. So let me fill in the blanks here, I figured it out. You see, nobody comes before Matt Hardy and his &quot;wrestling legacy.&quot; I heard you say it! Nothing comes before V1.
:So with that being said, Matt, you should thank me. It sounds strange, but you should thank me. You see, you've never gotten reactions like this before in your career. You're in the main event picture now, and why? Why? Because you're riding my coattails in. Yeah. You see, when you were defending the Cruiserweight Championship, running around with your little MFers, me, I was fighting Kurt Angle. Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, I EARNED MY MAIN EVENT STRIPES! I deserve to be where I am. And why are you here? Because your girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. Yeah. So Matt Hardy, the main event spotlight, it's shining on ya! Your 15 minutes in the spotlight, it's shining on ya, and I know it feels good. Well, we're 13 minutes into it and time is slowly ticking away. And at SummerSlam, Matt, I end it. Now I know that cuts close to the bone, I know it does, and I know it hurts. The truth usually does.

=== October 10 ===
:''[Everybody in the locker room gives Triple H the cold stare over turning on Ric Flair the week before, and he chances upon John Cena]''
:'''John Cena''': I don't know you, I ain't gonna judge you, but after last week, you lost some respect.
:'''Triple H''': ''[tries to walk away but gets back to Cena]'' You know, if I were you, the last thing I'd want to do is get my attention, you know what I mean? 
:'''John Cena''': You know me. You want some? ''[taps WWE Championship]'' Come get some!
:'''Triple H''': Don't you worry. When I want some, ''[angrily points to title]'' I'll take it! ''[leaves]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Linda McMahon appears after Vince and Stephanie fail to force JR to apologize over supporting Steve Austin as he Stunnered the McMahons the week before at Raw's USA Network return]''
:'''Linda McMahon''': ''[rebuffing Vince's assurance that they got the situation under control]'' Well, Vince as your devoted wife and Stephanie, as your mother, I just simply cannot let the two of you continue this way. Last week, when we returned to USA Network, it was a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning for the entire McMahon family. It was a chance for a clean slate. The only way to garner respect from people is not, Vince, by yelling and screaming, or Steph, by pitching a fit. It's by taking action. ''[to JR]'' So, JR, on behalf of the entire ''[looks at Vince and Stephanie]'' McMahon family... ''[long pause] YOU'RE FIRED!! [gives JR a low blow as Vince and Stephanie gleefully mock him bawled over]''

=== November 14 ===
:'''Vince McMahon''': Eddie Guerrero has passed away. Eddie was in the prime of his life, 38 years old, the prime of his career. So tonight, we celebrate the life of Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero loved this business. He loved it, he had a passion for it like no one else. Eddie loved to perform more than anything else, whether he was booed or whether he was cheered, he loved to perform for all of you. Eddie's goal every night, Eddie's goal every night was to steal the show. So tonight there's no doubt in anyone's mind that Eddie would want the show to go on and, so it shall tonight as we pay tribute to the memory of Eddie Guerrero. At this time, I would ask you all to stand in silence as we toll the bell 10 times, after which, there'll be a special video presentation. So if you would all please stand. Thank you.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shawn Michaels''': My memories of Eddie Guerrero have nothing to do with wrestling, nothing to do with the ring, because I never wrestled the man. It's all about faith. Eddie and I had a lot of wonderful talks about our faith, we were both born-again Christians, and the one thing I do know, we are assured of, that Eddie's last breath here was his first breath in eternity; and Eddie Guerrero and &quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels will someday get to wrestle in what is the very biggest stage of them all and it isn't WrestleMania, it is in the heavenlies in front of a crowd of one, and that is the lord of lords and the king of kings, Jesus Christ. And I want to thank Eddie Guerrero for always being there to be able to share that common faith with and to let him know that he did something that nobody has ever been able to do in the history of this business, and that is bring everybody in the WWE, from the top man to the bottom guy, bring them all together in prayer in the name of Jesus, and Eddie Guerrero left his last and greatest witness here with us today. And Eddie, I want to say God bless you and I will see you again, my friend.

== 2006 ==

=== May 1 ===
:''[After Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler humiliates Joey Styles on Raw]''
:'''Jerry''': Let me just say this: uh, during the break, I apologized to the fans here; right now, I wanna take this opportunity to apologize to you, Joey Styles, my fault, just trying to have a little fun, it got out of hand! I'm sorry, come back out and let's finish the rest of this show. My bad. Come on, Joey. ''[the crowd cheers]'' Come on, Joey! Come on back out here! ''[as Joey marches back out into the arena]'' Come on.
:''[Joey stands on the ramp and does not return to the desk]''
:'''Joey''': You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you? I'm not coming back, and now, thanks to the magic of live television, I’m gonna show the whole world why for seven years in ECW, I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary! Six months ago, WWE called ''me''! I didn’t call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn’t need a job. WWE called ''me'', because they had humiliated and fired, ''again,'' Jim Ross. So I get JR’s spot, and from WEEK ONE, week after week, I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say &quot;pro wrestling&quot;, I'm not allowed to say &quot;wrestler&quot;; I have to say &quot;sports entertainment&quot;, and refer to the wrestlers as &quot;superstars&quot;. I'm told to deliberately ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well, ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the ''wrestlers'', not the entertainers, who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in that ring! So here’s the best part. Because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller, I get pulled from WrestleMania, and the reason I’m given is, is because I don’t sound like Jim Ross, who’s the guy they fired in the first place, that makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy. I get bumped from WrestleMania. Then I get bumped...from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call ''Backlash''?! In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since! But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well, you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders! I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen, and I am sick of our chairman, who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God - he mocks ''God''! - and makes out the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am SICK of sports entertainment, and most of all, I'm sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! ''[the crowd boos]'' I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore. ''[takes the collar bearing the WWE logo off the microphone and throws it aside]'' I quit! ''[walks out]''
:'''Jerry''' ''[putting his headset back on]'': You know...we brought Joey Styles up from the gutter and it looks like he just got homesick; maybe Joey Styles will feel more at home in a bingo hall, kissing Paul Heyman's ass! Idiot.

=== July 17 ===

:'''Mick Foley''': Hello out there to all my fans right there in San Antonio, Texas! It's me Mick Foley in the WWE Studios and I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking, &quot;Isn't that the shirt Mick wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric on Halloween a few years ago?&quot; You're darn right it is, but I'm not here to talk about Katie Couric right now, or the beautiful Melina for that matter. I'm here to talk about the Nature Boy - Whooo! - Ric Flair and comments he made about me. You see, Ric was on the show last Monday actually bragging about beating me two straight falls in a two out of three falls match. You see Ric, I have a different take on things, you see I seem to remember you bludgeoned, bloody with your family in tears, which begs the question: Just what world do you inhabit Ric, where all those things can be construed as a positive!? How much worse could it have possibly have gotten!? Are you really under the impression I was trying to win the match? Because if I had been, I would have! The barbed wired bat under the ring was no accident, Ric. From the very get-go, I intended to leave you laying, and that is exactly what I did. And you're out there saying Mick Foley posing a challenge, anywhere, anyplace any match of your choosing. Well let me see... uh... I don't want to wrestle you anywhere, anyplace, in any type of match ever! What part of &quot;no rematch&quot; do you not understand? Let me put it in the words of a famous song: A no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, ''No rematch Ric!'' Yeah!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mick Foley''': Hello everybody, it's Mick Foley again in the WWE Studios and since we're live and since nobody can really stop me, I thought I'd give a shout out to my good friend Melina. Great match on Monday, I was really proud of you. But I'm really not here to talk about a Monday match, I'm here to talk about Ric Flair's hardcore match with the Big Show on ''ECW''. And Ric, I was impressed. I mean you got down, you got dirty, you got hardcore! You broke out the barb wire bat! You used thumbtacks, laying in a pile of them and as it turns out, you did it all in vain, Ric. Because no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how badly you wish I could grow something you could check out first hand, you get no rematch! See, three things happened at Vengeance Ric, I came, I saw, I kicked your old ass! And I have nothing left to prove to you! Now if you really want to me like Mick Foley, don't stop with the barb wire and thumbtacks. Wear a flannel on TV next week, drive a used mini-van, and sit in seat 26C next to the crapper! Or repeat after me as a paraphrase and old Michael Jackson song: He's out of my life, damned indecision and cursed pride. And it cuts like a knife, ''you're out of my life! You washed-up piece of crap!'' Yeah!

=== July 24 ===

:'''Shawn Michaels''': As many of you may know, a few weeks ago, Triple H and myself pulled a little bit of a prank on the McMahons. We told them that one Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor. And... well, that was a lie. ''[Looking up]'' Forgive me. As it would seem, however, life often imitates art. Because at this very moment, Stephanie McMahon is in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth to her first child. And of course, thankfully by her side are her father, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and her brother, Shane McMahon. But unbeknownst to them, my partner-in-crime Triple H, at this very moment, is in that same hospital.
:Now, somehow, he's got a little bit of an inside scoop into this whole pregnancy thing. You know... between you guys and me... I think he knows who the father is.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mick Foley''': What has become of Ric Flair? You see I'm in a state of disbelief because I watched ''Raw'' last Monday and found it hard to believe that Ric Flair resorted to calling me &quot;Fat Boy&quot;. Fat Boy, a name so effective he chose to use it twice and I have to admit the name hurt. Yeah, the name &quot;Fat Boy&quot; hurt when my brother used it on me 30 years ago. What has become of Ric Flair? You see it hurts me worse than anything just to see Ric Flair proving to the world, one of the all time great performers in our business, proving to the world that he had the creativity, the originality and the intellect of the average fourth grader. What has become of Ric Flair!? You see I thought I was going on a journey to meet the Great and Powerful Oz! And it turns out instead I see a weak and feeble man operating behind a curtain, digging into a bag of cliches because he's got nothing left to offer! &quot;To be the man, you've got to beat the man!&quot; &quot;I'm a 16-time world champion!&quot; &quot;All night long!&quot; blah blah blah. ''You make me sick Ric!'' What has become of you!? You've reduced yourself to being a second-rate circus side show, falling on thumbtacks on an ECW show, all in vain attempt to lure me back into the ring! It's not gonna work! What part of &quot;no&quot; did you not understand? I won't fight you here, there, or anywhere. What has become of you Ric Flair!? Because now not only are you a second-rate freak show, but you've resorted to attacking innocent, beautiful defenseless women. And even worse, Ric Flair, the woman you chose to attack was a friend of mine! Which means I'll be coming to New Jersey, Ric Flair, but I won't be coming to wrestle, but I will be coming to look you in the ring face to face and air our differences in a very public venue. And I swear to your Ric, you leave the cliches at home and you bring your heart and your mind or I will swat you away and embarrass you in front on national TV, you washed-up piece of crap! I'll see you next Monday on ''Raw''! Yeah!

=== August 21 ===
:''[The McMahons' limo has been stopped by a chain severing its rear axle and Vince and Shane are livid at the driver. Vince looks at the side of the limo...]''
:'''Jerry Lawler''': ''[reacts as the camera shows DX spray-painted on the side]'' Uh oh...
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh God...
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[violently kicks the car and screams]'' Dammit!! ''[holds his right ear as he screams and cries in anguish; Shane tries to comfort him as he breaks down]''
:'''Lawler''': I think it's happened. I think DX has broken Mr. McMahon!

=== October 9 ===
:''[Edge and Lita are in the ring for The Cutting Edge, having just invited Randy Orton on the show]''
:'''Edge''': Randy, thanks for - thanks for coming on the show, and...I'll get straight to the point. See, you've impressed me. You impressed me in 2004 when you became the youngest champion in WWE history. But, but since then, you've done absolutely nothing.
:'''Randy''' ''[standing up from his seat, shocked]'': Excuse me?
:'''Edge''' ''[stammering]'': Don't get me wrong, you've been involved in some huge matches: last year at WrestleMania against the Undertaker. This year at WrestleMania, Rey Mysterio, SummerSlam, Hulk Hogan, but...the thing is, you lost all those matches. You see, for two years straight, you have consistently dropped the ball.
:'''Randy''': You got two seconds to come up with a point...or I'm gonna drop you right now.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I knew it.
:'''Edge''': Okay. Okay. Okay, Randy, I have a point: you see, every - every misstep, every bump in the road since you became champion, it-it can be traced back to one single, solitary moment. Do you remember?, because if you don't, I'm gonna remind you right now. ''[pointing at the Titantron]'' Roll the footage. ''[footage shown of Orton in 2004 celebrating his World Heavyweight Championship, only for Triple H and the rest of Evolution to turn on him as Triple H starts attacking him]'' Do you remember that, Randy? Do you remember, you were on top of the world, you had it ALL!...but Triple H's selfishness cost you everything, ''everything''! I know you tried to pull it all back together, but let's face it, the facts are the facts! So you're probably asking yourself why, why would I care? And normally, I wouldn't. But these things have a, a tendency to repeat themselves. Jealousy rears its ugly head again, because, just last week, there was another travesty of justice. So once again, ''[gesturing to the Titantron]'' let's roll the footage. ''[footage from the previous week on Raw when D-Generation X interfered in Edge's steel cage match against John Cena for the WWE Championship, with Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music to Trevor Murdoch, causing Murdoch to inadvertently slam the cage door on Edge's head, being the main turning point]'' Shawn Michaels cost me the WWE Championship! The same man who, who taught Triple H every self-serving, power-hungry move he's ever known! And-and what did DX do when they came out here earlier? They...they made some cute little jokes. Because Randy, they think I'm a joke, they think ''you're'' a joke. And they're gonna continue to do that, until someone takes a stand. You see, Randy, I know you're not a joke, and I'm not a joke. The reason I called you out here tonight...is because I think those people that should take a stand...I think it's you, and me. We should own this show! We should have all the championships! We are the present and future of this industry, not some tired old act from a decade ago! So I tell you what, Randy, it's really simple: you can get mad at the things, the-the ''true'' things I said earlier and, you can fight me right now...or...you can join me. Join me and together we can take a stand against DX. We can beat DX! Take back our championships! Take back our lives, our ''careers''! So the ball's in your court. It's up to you.
:''[the crowd starts an &quot;RKO&quot; chant, much to Edge's chagrin]''
:'''Randy''': DX...as far as you running this show anymore is concerned, I've got two words for ya: it's over! ''[shakes Edge's hand and the two grin at one another]''

== 2007 ==

=== June 25 ===

:'''Vince McMahon''': Good evening. Tonight, this arena here in Corpus Christi, Texas, was to have been filled to capacity with enthusiastic WWE fans. Tonight’s storyline was to have been the alleged demise of my character, Mr. McMahon. However, in reality, WWE Superstar Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their son Daniel, are dead. Their bodies were discovered this afternoon in their new, suburban Atlanta home. The authorities are undergoing an investigation. We here in the WWE can only offer our condolences to the extended family of Chris Benoit, and the only other thing we can do at this moment is, tonight, pay tribute to Chris Benoit. We will offer you some of the most memorable moments in Chris’ professional life, and you will hear, tonight, comments from his peers; those here – his fellow performers – those here who loved Chris and admired him so much. So tonight will be a three-hour tribute to one of the greatest WWE superstars of all time. Tonight will be a tribute to Chris Benoit.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Edge''': ''[Referring to Chris Benoit's death]'' It's really confusing. I don't understand things like this, and I don't know if I ever will.

=== November 5 ===

:'''Triple H''': What the hell ''was'' all that?
:'''Shawn''': I gotta be honest with you. I mean, I feel like I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage, but this is the worst debacle since that whole Katie Vick years ago.
:'''Triple H''': You got a good point. But the thing is, I don't think ''anybody'' writes this crap—[[w:2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike|they're on strike]]. ''[The crowd cheers]'' But we're not!

== 2008 ==

===March 31 ===
:'''&quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair''': WOOOO! Last night, I wrestled my very last match at [[w:WrestleMania XXIV|WrestleMania]]. I will never, ever, wrestle in this ring again. ''[The crowd boos this]'' Please... please... I... I... I'm not sad about not wrestling. You shouldn't be sad about the fact that you're not gonna see me out here. You should rejoice in the fact that I HAVE HAD THE GREATEST WRESTLING CAREER IN THE HISTORY OF PRO WRESTLING! ''[The crowd erupts at this]'' And last night, even though I lost, I lost to a great, great, great wrestler and a better man! ''[The crowd boos at mention of Shawn Michaels]'' It's true... Rejoice in the fact that I have wrestled in front of more fans, raised more hell, had more fun, and loved all of you every day of my life! I swear to God! I've been teared up all day long with the thought of not being able to come out here anymore, but I'm off! I'm off, and I'm in a good place, and I love you! ''[As he speaks, &quot;Thank you, Ric&quot; chants start within the crowd]'' Please... Let me say to you, I wanna thank you for the memories, thank you for the support, and most of all, thank you all for making me who I am today. WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO! ''[begins to leave, until he is cut off by the music and arrival of Triple H]''
:'''Triple H''': Ric, if you think these people here in Orlando are the only ones that want to say thank you, if you think that the millions of people watching on TV are the only ones that want to say thank you... well then, my friend, you've got another thing coming. ''[embraces Flair]'' Because I just... I had to come out here and I had to tell you something from the bottom of my heart... I love you, man. ''[shakes Flair's hand]'' And thank you. Thank ''you''. ''[bows down to Flair and then embraces him again]'' Now, that takes care of me, but there are a few other people that wanted to say thank you too, and... there's one group of guys I started talking to earlier today, and it's the craziest thing, 'cause ever since I talked to them, my hand's been cramping up like this... ''[Makes a familiar sign; Flair smiles, knowing what this means. The sound of horses' hooves and whinnying only serve to confirm the obvious, as out come:]'' TULLY BLANCHARD! J.J. DILLON! ARN ANDERSON! BARRY WINDHAM! THE FOUR HORSEMEN!
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[As the aforementioned Horsemen enter the ring and embrace Flair]'' This will be the first time the Horsemen have been together since 1988. All four of them in the ring. ''[No further commentary is uttered.]''
:'''Triple H''': ''[As he introduces each of the next seven individuals, that individual enters the ring to pay his respects to Flair]'' The Animal... and the [[w:Evolution (professional wrestling)|Evolution]], Ric, of Batista... Ricky &quot;The Dragon&quot; Steamboat... The seven-time [[w:NWA World Heavyweight Championship|World Champion]], Harley Race... Greg &quot;The Hammer&quot; Valentine... Another Horseman, Dean Malenko... Y2J, Chris Jericho... John Cena! ''[After Cena has paid his respects, &quot;[[w:Angels &amp; Devils (Fuel album)|Leave The Memories Alone]]&quot; by [[w:Fuel (band)|Fuel]] plays as:]'' Ric, here comes your family. Ric's wife Tiffany, Megan, [[w:David Flair|David]], [[w:Reid Flair|Reid]], and [[w:Charlotte Flair|Ashley]]! ''[By this time, Flair is completely in tears as his wife and children enter the ring and embrace the Nature Boy. After the crowd reacts, they falls silent as Shawn Michaels, still clearly upset over retiring Flair the previous night, enters the ring. The two make up and embrace]'' Ric... First of all, I've gotta say: those are sweet watches. ''[pointing out the gold watches both Flair and Michaels are wearing]'' Those match; those are cool. Anyway... ''[laughs and taps the microphone]'' Is this still on? OK, that is... anyway, we could keep this going on all night because there's just so many people. But I'll tell you what: Anybody left that wants to come out here and say thank you to Ric Flair, come on out! ''[&quot;[[w:...To Be Loved|...To Be Loved]]&quot; by [[w:Papa Roach|Papa Roach]], then the'' Raw ''theme, plays as the locker room empties, line up on the ramp and chant &quot;Thank you, Ric&quot; with the audience]''

=== June 9 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': Yes, I do have a question, I'm gonna get to that. But first I wanna make a little observation. I mean, like we just heard, obviously our fans, they love you no matter what it is you do. ''[to the cheering fans]'' No matter what, right? Case in point, you feigned a knee injury for almost a month, you blatantly lied about it to me, you lied to Batista...
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now that might be splitting hairs here, but I was very clear about the fact that I was gonna do whatever it took to win...and I did that. I didn't lie to Batista, I didn't lie to the people. Technically, the only person I lied to was...you.
:'''Jericho''': All right, fair enough, I'll...I'll take that. Touche. Regardless of all that, when you finally admitted the truth and super-kicked me right in the face, you got cheered more than ever. I mean, it's... ''[off the cheers]'' see? I mean, I'm adored by the fans as well, but not even I could get away with that one. And when I pointed out your fabrication of the truth, suddenly I got booed. ''[The crowd boos]'' See? You pull a fast one on 'em and they adore you, and yet whenever I try to do the right thing, whether it be tell the truth or not hit you with a chair, not hit JBL with a chair, I got booed. You know. It seems like our fans, even the ones here, would rather boo an honest man and cheer for you. I mean, it doesn't take much to get them to start chanting, &quot;HBK!&quot; You know, it's...HBK, HBK!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' HBK!
:'''Jericho''': So that brings us to my question, and my question is this. How does Shawn Michaels, HBK, one of the greatest performers of all time and one of the most highly-decorated superstars in the history of this business, turn into such a lying, cheating, pathetic little worm of a human being?

== 2010 ==

=== January 11 ===

:'''[[w:The Miz|The Miz]]''': ''[outside the WWE Superstars Locker Room]'' When I first came to World Wrestling Entertainment, not a single person respected me. Not anyone out in the WWE universe, and not anyone in the WWE locker room. Everybody wanted to get rid of me. Nobody could stand me! They made my life a living hell. As a matter of fact, in this very locker room I got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken over a referee’s bag and spilling some crumbs.
:''[Walks away]'' For 6 months, 6 months, I was banned from the WWE locker room. I would have to find a place to change, a place to shower, a place to use the restroom. I walked down these halls and see superstars like JBL. And everyday that JBL saw me, he would sarcastically say, &quot;Miz, I look forward to your amazing work! Miz, you are a gift from God, Miz!&quot;
:Everybody berated me. Everybody ridiculed me. Everybody wanted me to quit. But all that negativity, I used as fuel to ignite a wrath against everyone in the WWE to become the star I am today. Now I don't even ''go'' in that locker room because I have a private dressing room just for me. ''That'' locker room is for the Evan Bournes and the MVPs. ''[He is now on the arena floor]'' The same MVP that is the #1 contender for the United States Championship. So congratulations, MVP. You have earned the right to join a long list of people to get publicly humiliated by me.
:MVP doesn't even deserve to be in the same ring as me. ''[He is now in the ring]'' If it was up to me, MVP would still be in jail. I don't believe in second chances, because I have been perfect my entire life. Yet you mistakes all still boo me and cheer him. Well, go ahead, boo me, cheer MVP, I don't care. I'd rather you all hate me for everything I am, than love me for something I'm not! I am the reason you people watch ''Monday Night Raw'', not MVP! I am the most captivating and entertaining superstar on this brand, not MVP!
:MVP comes out here with his glitz and glam, his pyro, his ballin'. He's got Breitling diamond watches, designer suits. That's great MVP, because let's face facts, MVP. You could put diamonds on a dog, but it's still a mutt. All you mistakes will respect me, everybody in that locker room will respect their United States Champion! Because I'm The Miz...and I'm...AWESOME!

=== November 22 ===

:'''The Miz''': I told you. I told you all. I...told...you...all I would be Champion!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': You thought Randy Orton and Wade Barrett was the story; you thought John Cena being fired was the story; and then The Miz, Mr. Money in the Bank, comes out, cashes in, and he tells the world that ''he'' is the true story. He is the WWE Champion.
:'''Michael Cole''': Ladies and gentlemen, the Era of Awesomeness has begun on Monday Night Raw!

== 2011 ==

=== April 11 ===
:'''Edge''': You may to have to bear with me a little bit. I’m probably gonna ramble and not make much sense, but just please bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn't hurt. That what we do, maybe it’s done with smoke and mirrors, and I wish that were true. But anybody in that locker room, anybody who has ever stepped foot in here, laced up a pair of boots—they know that’s not the case. 
:Which brings me to what I am about to tell you. Eight years ago, I broke my neck. I had spinal fusion surgery, which means they move your throat over, they put a plate in there, and screws, and it’s really in-depth surgery. But because of that surgery, I knew that I was...I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward, and...the last, the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I...I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So...I passed strength tests and all of those things, and I made it through [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania XVII|WrestleMania]]. But the WWE wanted me to go get more tests. And thankfully I did, because the MRI showed that...that I have to retire. ''[The crowd is visibly shocked]'' I mean, trust me, it’s not my choice. The doctors have told me that I got no choice. And thankfully, they found out because I’m not gonna end up in a wheelchair now.
:''[The crowd starts cheering for him, chanting &quot;Thank you, Edge.&quot;]''
:This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was gonna be. So, you know...thank you, guys.
:I’ll tell ya, this has been an emotional roller coaster of a week for me and I’m not going to lie. I felt sorry for myself. I...until I talked to Christian. And for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years. And you see I was angry, I was angry at myself, I was angry at my body. Because I felt like there’s a lot of people in this company that depend on me, and I felt like I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. But then, you know, I was upset too, because I did not feel like I was ending this on my terms. But he reminded me that, that I have competed my whole career on my terms.
:I...you know, I’m still like all of you. I am a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go down to the Maple Leaf Gardens and we would watch all of our favorites. We would watch The Legion of Doom, we’d watch Demolition, we’d watch...we’d watch Hulk Hogan, we’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. And then I went to WrestleMania VI and I watched Hulk Hogan against The Ultimate Warrior, and I said, “I’m doing this one day.” And you know what? Fast forward a whole bunch of years, and I’m main eventing WrestleMania against The Undertaker. There’s no way I ever would have dreamed of that. There’s no way if you told me when I was eleven years old that I would win more championships than anyone in the history of this company, no way I would've believed you. And if you had told me that my last match would be at WrestleMania in one of the main events defending the World Heavyweight Championship, and that I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion. Man, I couldn't dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn't.
:You know, I...I started in the WWE when I was 23. I mean, I have been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10th, 1996 at Hamilton’s Copps Coliseum. And...I was 23 years old, and I feel like I've grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I've made a whole lot of mistakes in front of you. I've learned from them, and I've become a man in front of you. I've gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him, to a pseudo-vampire in The Brood, to one of the funny, goofy guys along with Christian, posing for the benefit of those with flash photography. I became one of the most despised guys in the history of the WWE. As a matter of fact, I got thrown in the Long Island Sound. I had a live sex celebration, thankfully with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all, I've earned the respect of everyone in that locker room. And I hope that I've earned all of your respect. Because no matter what, no matter what, I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night. And in turn, you guys gave it right back to me.
:So, I’m gonna miss all of this. All of it. I’m gonna miss that reaction when I hear my music and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys, and it’s amazing. I can’t describe it. But, that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow and I am gonna go eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight. But if you asked me if I would do all of this again. All the way back from getting hired by J.R. If you asked me if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, all the surgeries, all of the injuries, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it. If you asked me if I’d do it again…in a heartbeat. So, thank you, thank you very much.

=== June 20 ===
:'''[[Phil Brooks|CM Punk]]''': July 17, 2011 will be the most historic day, not only in the career of CM Punk, it's gonna be a historic day for the WWE as a whole. Not only is July 17 the second annual Money in the Bank ladder match pay-per-view, it's the night I defeat John Cena for the WWE Championship. And now, here's that honesty I was talking about, that honesty that's probably gotten me in trouble more times than I like to admit. The brutal honesty I'm known for. July 17 is the day my contract with World Wrestling Entertainment comes to an end. That means when the clock strikes midnight, the 17 becomes the 18, Sunday bleeds into Monday, I'm leaving. And trust me when I tell you. I am leaving with the WWE Championship.

=== June 27 ===
:'''CM Punk''': John Cena, while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I ''do'' like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best...because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as ''[[w:Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne]]'' though—he's a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. ''[Turns to camera and waves]'' Whoops, I'm breaking the fourth wall.
:I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
:I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that—they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I'm the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show! I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
:''[Turns to the fans]'' Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else, because you're the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job!
:I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. ''[Waves to camera]'' Hey, [[w:Colt Cabana|Colt Cabana]], how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone, you're still gonna pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel's gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's 'cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like [[w:John Laurinaitis|John Laurinaitis]] who's gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon's dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic [[w:Stephanie McMahon|daughter]] and his doofus [[w:Triple H|son-in-law]] and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. All right. We're doing this whole bullying campaign...''[The mic cuts off]''

=== July 11 ===
:'''CM Punk''': You wanna have fun? Let's have fun.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[on the contract]'' I've got everything in here you want...
:'''CM Punk''': Because ''my'' lawyers looked over your contract, Vince, and frankly, it just wasn't up to par, so I had them draw up a new one. I have it right here; my signature's already on it, all you've got to do is sign it. I...do think you should know about a couple new perks that I've added to it. You say you don't think contractual things should happen in public? Let's ask the WWE Universe—you people want this to go down in public? ''[The crowd cheers]'' You wanna hear a couple new perks?
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Don't push me.
:'''Audience member''': What?
:'''CM Punk''': He said, &quot;don't push me.&quot; Did you already look at this? Did somebody stooge this off? Because this is actually provision #1—''[pushes McMahon in his seat]'' that I get to push you. Vince, I'll push you all I want..Vince, I'll kick you in the nuts and you'll smile at me and like it, and show me some respect! Because if you don't, I find the nearest paper shredder, I throw this puppy in there, and Sunday, I leave with your WWE Championship.
:Provision #1—for a Superstar such as myself, first class travel is not good enough. I want my own jet. And I don't want your jet—your jet smells, don't try to pawn that thing off on me—I want my own jet.
:[Provision] #2—my face will be on everything. I want my face on the TitanTron, I want my face on these turnbuckles, I want cups, posters, spoons, knives, forks, shoes, socks. I want everything with my face on it; number-one thing I want you to bring back—the WWE Ice Cream Bars. ''[The crowd cheers and chants &quot;WE WANT ICE CREAM!&quot;]'' Look at that, I just made you a million dollars in ice cream sales.
:I want WWE Films to immediately start production on ''CM Punk: The Movie''! You can call it ''The Chaperone 2'', except mine will be funny and entertaining and successful.
:And one last thing—the main event of WrestleMania being John Cena against your buddy Dwayne? That's The Rock, for nobody who watches bad Disney movies. You can still have that little fantasy, but the match that I compete in at WrestleMania will be the main event.
:Those are just a few of many new perks that my lawyers have added to the contract. The last thing that this contract states is that you apologize to me. I know, Vince McMahon doesn't apologize, right? But you will apologize to me for suspending me last week; you will apologize... Hell, you know what? I'm gonna be honest, you're not just apologizing to me, you're apologizing to these people for being one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen in my entire life. As far as your anti-bullying campaign goes, you are one of the biggest bullies I've ever met in my entire life, and you will apologize. I have had friends, very talented friends, work for this company and be unceremoniously fired.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': They deserved it!
:'''CM Punk''': They deserved it? They deserved it? Why? Because you don't know what makes a superstar in 2011?! You don't know what these people want?! You wanna punish people for actually liking professional wrestling, guys like Colt Cabana and guys like Luke Gallows?! Huh?! You will apologize to me, for them, because they can't be here right now, and they can't stand up to you, and they can't let their voice be heard! I am CM Punk, and I am the voice of the voiceless, and you will apologize, and you will like it!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': I'm not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say ''I've'' lost sight? ''I've'' lost sight of things, ''John''? The reason I say I'm gonna take that and walk out is because I ''don't'' fit a certain mold. Because ''I'' am the underdog, and that's exactly what ''you've'' lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and you said that ''they'' used to look at you and think that the kid couldn't hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can't hang. John, I was hanging off of your gangster car, WrestleMania 22, as it rolled down in Chicago, Illinois, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as ''[points to Vince McMahon]'' that man looks right now in his suit, holding a phony Tommy gun, and I said to myself someday, I'm not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be standing in the ring watching you go down to CM Punk. And now here we are in your hometown of Boston. And now next week, we'll be back there in my hometown—Chicago, Illinois. And this...this is the part where I talk 'em into the building. See, ''you'' are the one that's lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I'm not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I've lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for hustle, loyalty and respect; who, from Boston, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these red colors, the same colors as your beloved Red Sox, who ''also'' portray themselves as the underdog, I'm sure just like the Bruins portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Patriots think they're the underdog! Hey, how about those Celtics? Are they the underdogs too? Here's what you've lost sight of, John, and I'm really happy that your father and your wife are sitting in the front row so they can hear it!
:'''John Cena''': That's the last time I'm gonna tell you, ease up.
:'''CM Punk''': What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time WWE Champion! You're the man! Ladies and gentlemen, the Champ is here. You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees! ''[John immediately punches Punk, who scoots out of the ring, grabs the contract, and goes up the ramp. Points respectively to Vince and John]'' You're Steinbrenner, and you might as well be Jeter! Mr. 3000, ''I'm'' the underdog! ''[John's music plays for fourteen seconds]'' Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I'm positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because ''they wanna hear it!'' I'm glad you just punched me in the face, John. I'm glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning—exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It's because I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John, Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk! ''[Rips up the contract]'' I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.

===July 18===
:'''John Cena''': Relax, relax, relax, relax. I'm not gonna go on a profanity-ridden tirade. You don't need a seven-second-delay, Kevin. I'm not gonna show my genitalia. I'm not gonna talk bad about your family or your company. And I know exactly what you're about to do, and I'm okay with it. Because I'm not gonna have to go through the same things that you made Shawn Michaels go through. Shawn Michaels, the best performer ever to step in this ring. But you made him bent over backwards and for all that he accomplished, for all of his achievements, for years, all they said about HBK was that he screwed Bret! No matter how many championships he won, no matter how many times he stopped the show, he carried that burden, and it began to define him, and he had to take it with him his entire career. And you know what? I thought about that a lot last week, Vince, and I put myself in his shoes. If I was in his shoes, would I want to be the guy who screwed Bret? Would I want to be the guy that screwed CM Punk? My answer was no.
:I knew exactly what was at stake. I asked for the match. The WWE Championship, my career. But there was more than that. There was more than just John Cena vs. CM Punk in a classic. It was about you. It was about you wanting to keep your little bubble intact - your little universe in one piece. Nobody can embarrass Vince McMahon. And to do that, you thought you needed somebody to play ball, and I was gonna be your patsy. No way! And I know I'm not supposed to say his name, but, Punk, if you are out there watching: It was one hell of a match last night, son. Thank you so much.
:''[over Vince's protests]'' Hey, hey, hey, listen. You put me in a position to make a decision. You wanted the match thrown out. I don't do business like that. You're a businessman, you got your way of doin' business. I do my business a certain way, I am not gonna play along with that crap because you would have made the WWE Championship meaningless. So here's the skinny. I had a great career here. And he says he can make another one of me. Fine, Vince, go ahead. Make one, make ten. I don't care. I've even given you some time. You have eight months—-give or take a few days—-to find another opponent for Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson at WrestleMania XXVIII. I'm not an idiot, Vince. You'll do some hocus-pocus and you'll find somebody for Dwayne, and WrestleMania will go off without a hitch as if I was never even here. I get it. Meanwhile I get to walk outta here with my pride and my dignity.
:So before we get into the formalities and the big Vince-McMahon-walk and the whole speech, which I'm gonna let you do. Go ahead. It's what they know you for. I just need to tell you something. And I want this to sink in. I love the WWE and I truly believe I belong here. And, man, I hate saying this. But if you're about to tell me that I'm not welcome here, if you're about to tell me that I have no other option, I love this. This is what I do. And if you make me walk tonight, then I will walk on someone else's television show and keep doing this, ''brother!'' That is no threat, that is a promise. And here's the skinny. There's a lot people out there that say I do a lot of things. But I prove tonight that one thing I will not do is kiss your ass!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Triple H appears as Vince seeks to fire John Cena]''
:'''Triple H''': Vince. Sorry I got here as quickly as I could. There was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, last night we flew from Chicago here. When I got there, I received a phone-call. I got back on the jet and I flew to the office, where there was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, the board asked me to come here to talk to you. They are concerned about the current situation. Can we just go and talk about this in the back, please? I tried to get out here, Vince, before you came to the ring, but I didn't make it. More specifically, the board is concerned about you. Don't get me wrong. They completely understand you have built the global empire. All of this, every single bit of it is because of you and your vision. That's a given. But at the same point in time, Vince, the board is concerned about your extremely questionable - their term, their words - extremely questionable decisions as of late. Vince, the board has asked me to come here to tell you, that they have filed an injunction against you with the vote of no-confidence. And Vince, the family agrees.

:On top of that, Vince, the board has appointed someone to take over the day-to-day operations of the WWE. And — I can't — I can't even believe I'm gonna say this, but Vince, it's me. ''[audience chants for Cena]'' Vince, you're not gonna fire John Cena. You're not gonna be doing anything else. Vince, you taught me from day one - from day one - that nobody is bigger than this business. Nobody. And this is just business. I can't even believe I'm gonna say this and Vince this is with all due respect: I am here to inform you — that, Vince, you are relieved of your duties. ''[&quot;Hey, Goodbye' chants, Vince is evidently sad]'' Please — understand. I did not wanna do this. I'm tryin' to do what's right for the business. Look at me — Look at me! I love you, pa! And I'm sorry. ''[leaves Vince]''

===August 8===
:''[At CM Punk and John Cena's Undisputed Title match contract signing for SummerSlam, Triple H makes asides to Punk not showing up when needed]''
:'''CM Punk''': Wait a minute, I'm gutless, I'm a phony, I'm gutless? Let's analyze that, who fires people around here, ''[points at HHH]'' you or Funkman ''[points at John Laurinaitis]'' over here, huh? Who, let me ask you a question, Johnny Funkman. You personally face to face, fire Vladimir Kozlov on Friday? Huh did you fly yourself to Florida to tell Harry Smith - yes, his name his Harry Smith, not David Hart Smith that he was no longer needed here, huh? Did you tell Chris Masters - somebody who has worked his ass off to get better, did you fire him face to face or did you call him up and say &quot;hey kid, it's a budget thing. Best of luck on your future endeavors&quot; - don't call me gutless! You have him do your dirty work! This isn't about him ''[John Laurinaitis]'' This isn't about you. ''[HHH]''

== 2012 ==

=== February 27 ===
:'''Chris Jericho''': Listen, I know you've got a big match, Champion vs. Champion, but what I have to say is a little bit more important. Before I say it, let me preface it by saying one thing. I think you're an amazing performer, Punk. I think you're very, very good. As a matter of fact, you're one of my favorites, but you're not as good as I am. You're not as good as me. You're not the best in the world at everything you do, and you know it.
:You see, I never had to call myself the best in the world; other people said it for me. These people said it for me. And I never had to write it on the back of a t-shirt; they would write it on signs and bring it to the arena. And the reason for that is this—I am part of a special breed of performers. I am one of a literal dying breed of performers that toured the world, honing our craft, learning our skills, becoming stars before we ever got to the WWE. A breed that cared more about having the best match on the show than personal politics, didn't care what the hierarchy thought of us, what position we were slotted in, what we were supposed to be. A breed of performers that were given nothing and took everything. And yeah, I developed a chip on my shoulder because of it; and yeah, I got a bad attitude and a bad reputation in the back with the powers that be because of it; but I didn't give a damn because I knew I was good. I knew I was the best.
:And now, Punk, you're just like me. You're a maverick, a rebel that went against the grain and became something more than anybody thought that you would. But in translation, that's because you just want to be me. You're a Chris Jericho wannabe, just like all these Chris Jericho wannabes, and it's so obviously...''[to the booing crowd]'' oh yeah, you know it's true. It's so obviously blatant by the fact that you plagiarize me every step of the way...
:'''CM Punk''': Stop. Stop. Just stop.
:'''Chris Jericho''': Don't you tell me to stop, boy. I'm talking to you.
:'''CM Punk''': And I'm listening, but I think everybody else is sick of listening, so I'm gonna go ahead. Look, Chris, I know how good you are, these people know how good you are. My problem I have with you is you coming out here and insinuating that I've stolen ''anything'' from you. No, I've never plagiarized anything in my life. Everything I have, ''[holding up WWE Championship]'' I've fought for and I've earned. It's right here.
:You think you invented saying that you were the best? Are you kidding me? There's a guy I remember watching when I was a kid—you probably watched him when you were a kid, too—his name's Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart, the best there is, ''[crowd says it with him]'' the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Did you invent that? Did you give that to him when you were, what, two years old? Huh? He's Canadian too. Did you invent him being Canadian? Did you invent Canada?
:'''Chris Jericho''': Oh, yeah, laugh along. Laugh it up with Punk. Laugh along with Punk. Very nice. Because it's oh so typical, Punk. So smarmy, sarcastic, never taking anything too seriously, right? Well you need to take me seriously, Punk, 'cause this is a whole different level. A whole different level from anything that you've ever had before. Because like I said, this isn't some kind of gimmick. I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I prove it every night as I have for the last 22 years. Staying on the highest level of any performer in the history of this business. ''[to the crowd]'' You can boo if you want, but you know it's the damn truth.
:I have faced every legend, every Hall-of-Fame, future Hall-of-Fame performer in this ring and beaten them all. I've won dozens of championships, I've had dozens of classic matches, classic WrestleMania steal-the-show matches, dozens of moments that will be legendary long after either one of us are gone. ''[Crowd chants &quot;CM Punk!&quot;]'' You can chant it all you want, but I am not just telling you, I am proving to you with all the evidence that standing right in front of you is the literal, undeserved, undoubtful best in the world at everything I do!
:'''CM Punk''': You know, you keep ''saying'' that, and your words just scream superiority. But I watch you and the way you walk out here and the inflection in your voice and certainly your body language—it screams ''inferiority''. Who you trying to prove? You're trying to prove to ''me'' that you're the best, or are you trying to prove to these people that you're the best, or are you trying to prove to ''yourself'' that you're the best? I say I'm the best in the world, and yeah, that's a little cocky, but confidence is nothing that I've ever lacked, and it's nothing I thought you lacked. But now that confidence, Chris, seems to be replaced with jealousy.
:You look at me and you see a guy that emerged from the same shadows you did. He came from the same places you did, he overcame the same obstacles you did. But now he's ''surpassed'' everything that you did, didn't he? Because sure, you beat legends. You beat the Stone Cold and you beat Rock in the same night ten years ago, and that made you the WWE Champion. But you were never really the ''man'', like how I'm the ''man'', were you? And that just bothers you a little bit, doesn't it? You have a Napoleon clompl—complex because of it, so you come back and you try to point fingers and place the blame. The blame's only on you.
:See, ''you'' say that you're the best in the world at what you do, and I say that I'm the best ''wrestler'' in the world. The distinction, to me, is very simple. This is nothing I chose, I was born this way. This is who I am, this is what I do, while you choose to leave and write books and have a radio show and be on game shows, and you choose to be a rock star. And all the while, I'm here ON TOP, swimming with sharks while you're [[w:Dancing with the Stars (U.S. season 12)|dancing with stars]]!
:'''Chris Jericho''': When I was dancing with stars, Punk, and killing it on the Tonight Show and becoming a bigger star than you ever were, all I could of was one thing, and that was you ripping me off. Every single night, you ripping me off, Punk. And let me be completely clear and honest with you. All of those January 2nd vignettes and the &quot;best in the world&quot; verbiage and this light-up, flashy, fancy jacket—it's all window dressing. Because I came back to the WWE for one reason and one reason only, and that was to embarrass you on the biggest stage in the world, to take back what is mine, to beat you for that World Title at WrestleMania, and shove down your throat that I am the best in the world at what I do! I prove it, I claim it, I AM IT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!
:'''CM Punk''': Well, that's all you had to say. When you came back, you didn't have to jump me to get my attention. All you had to do was grab me and say, &quot;hey, Punk! Me and you, best in the world vs. best in the world at WrestleMania!&quot;
:See, this is the time of year everybody points at that sign, but I'm gonna point at my Championship title, because to me, I don't need Chris Brown and you don't need Mickey Rourke, and we don't need all the pyro in the world or inflatable letters to tell everybody how ''awesome'' we are, and I don't need a fancy entrance, and screw your stupid Lite-Brite jacket! The only thing ''we'' need is me and you in a ring, and on April 1st, we're gonna find out exactly who the best in the world is. Because to me, those are the only ingredients we need in the recipe to have what quite possibly could be the greatest wrestling match in WrestleMania history. But see, I have something you covet, and I say come and get it. And at the end of the night, when you're looking over your shoulder on the ramp and you see this, ''[Puts down the mic and yells to the crowd]'' &quot;Best in the world!!!&quot; ''[Picks the mic back up and resumes talking to Jericho]'' It's not gonna be the end of ''the'' world, it's just gonna be the end of ''yours''.

=== March 12 ===

:'''Chris Jericho''': Yeah, congratulations. Way to go, Punk, way to go. Congratulations on your big win. You need to enjoy them while you can. You see, you can smirk if you want to, but I see straight through you. When I look at you, I see a fraud. And I'm not talking about the fact that you call yourself the best in the world, I'm talking about you as a person. Because I did a little research this week, Punk, and I found something, a little deep, dirty, dark secret about you. You've been straight edge ever since you came to the WWE, but you've never explained the reasons why. I wanna tell all of these wannabes why you're straight edge. I wanna tell them that you're straight edge because your father is an alcoholic.
:Yeah, that's right. Your father was an alcoholic who let you down every step of the way when you were growing up, and it terrifies you. You don't want to end up like him. But it's inevitable that you will, because alcohol is in your blood, it's in your genes, it's part of who you are, and that tortures you. I know you've built this facade, this wall that you're a sarcastic antihero with not a care in the world, but I think I've found something that you care about. I've found something that gives you nightmares, something that terrifies you.
:And isn't it ironic that the very alcohol that you crave is the same thing that ruined your childhood? Oh, the nightmares you must have about your father; I almost feel bad for you, Punk. Is that the reason why you have all those tattoos? Was the pain of wanting to drink so bad that you needed the pain of a tattoo needle to take it out of your mind? Was that your only solace?
:It doesn't matter if it is, Punk, because you are going to drink eventually, and I'm the one who is going to make you drink. At WrestleMania XXVIII, I'm going to take away your title, I'm gonna take away your claims of being the best in the world, I'm gonna take away your bravado, and I'm gonna leave you a broken man. You're gonna hit bottom, Punk, and when you do, you're going to embrace your destiny, and you're gonna take a drink. And it's gonna taste so good that you're gonna wanna take another one, and another one, and another one. After April 1st, I'm gonna be recognized for who I am—the undisputed best in the world and the new WWE Champion. And you're gonna be recognized for who you are, who your father was—a pathetic damn drunk!

=== May 21 ===

:'''John Cena''': I, I, I... I've had a lot of these matches. I've won some. I've lost some. But win, lose, or draw, every single Monday, I come out here and say, &quot;You know what? It was great. Congratulations to my opponent. Let's move on.&quot;
:'''Michael Cole''': Can't do that, can he?
:'''John Cena''': What the hell happened? What the hell? What the hell? John Laurinaitis beat me. John Laurinaitis... he... he beat me. You know, you know, here's the thing, it's not how, it's not how it happened. It's why the hell would something like that happen in the first place! ''[frustrated grunt]'' Okay. You know, ever since he's been here, and all of you can attest to this, John Laurinaitis has been a selfish, power-hungry bully. And last night, John Laurinaitis got a taste of his own medicine. You guys saw some of the photos. If you were there and you watched it, we were having a blast! It was great! It was everything that it was supposed to be! That was what People Power was about! He was getting his tail whipped! I was having fun! You were having fun! And we all knew that he was gonna be gone! And then, he ran away and Big Show brought him back. Big Show: the guy that John Laurinaitis humiliated in this ring. The guy that John Laurinaitis fired in this ring. He brought him back, and then it was fun again. Big Show threw him in the ring and he had that giant hand around Laurinaitis' scrawny neck and you could watch him back. He looked in his eyes. I was right over here. I gave him a nod. I said, &quot;Show, I got this one.&quot; He looked in my eyes and he said, &quot;Yeah, you do.&quot; And he gave me John Laurinaitus to make sure I finish the job and... and John Laurinaitis would be terminated! And then, Big Show, a man that I used to call a friend, knocked me out cold. He knocked me out cold and your winner was John Laurinaitis.
:'''Jerry ''': I have never seen John Cena shook up his ears right now.
:'''John Cena''': Hindsight being 20/20, there are some &quot;experts&quot; out there that are saying, &quot;Well, why did you toy with him?&quot; &quot;Why'd you spray him with a fire extinguisher?&quot; Or, &quot;Why did you pour water all over him?&quot; &quot;You should have just beat him.&quot; Hey, geniuses, if you already paid off the Big Show, if John Laurinaitis was in any jeopardy of losing that match, the giant was gonna beat me anyway. I am glad that I did every single thing that I did to John Laurinaitis because he damn sure deserved that and ten times more! What I'm not glad about is The Big Show, the world's largest athlete deciding to sell out. I don't even know what he is thinking about. There is no possible explanation to explain exactly what he did! What the hell was he thinking? John Laurinaitis was gonna be gone! He is the world's largest athlete. I don't care who the next general manager was. Vickie Guerrero. Teddy Long. ''[pointing to audience]'' This guy over here in the third row. Hell, bring the computer back. And... ''[making noise]'' the first random e-mail would be, &quot;May I have your attention please? I have just received an e-mail that says we're hiring The Big Show back.&quot; But instead, he Benedict Arnold me, knocked me out and we are... we are stuck! Show, this was not about John Cena losing, this match was about John Laurinaitis winning! We are stuck! We are stuck with this People Power garbage! Which means, now, probably you're gonna see some graphic or something and he's gonna come out here and ''[mimicking John Laurinaitis]'' tell you guys how brave he is. And how badly he's hurt. And what a... what a great new plan that he's got for the next pay-per-view in the name of People Power. This is crap!
:''[John Laurinaitis' music plays, but Eve Torres comes out}''
:'''John Cena''': Wow, John Laurinaitis, you got really hot, but you still suck.
:'''Eve Torres''': Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, the permanent general manager of both Raw and Smackdown, and the man who beat John Cena last night, Mr. John Laurinaitis.
:''[John Laurinaitis' music plays again while Michael Cole applauds and John Laurinaitis comes to the stage in a scooter]''
:'''Michael Cole''': It's wonderful.
:'''Jerry''': Oh, my god.
:''[John Laurinaitis slowly get off scooter and uses a crutch]''
:'''John Laurinaitis''': John, after our match last night, I was rushed to the emergency room. The doctors said I have a possible broken clavicle, a possible damage to my ACL and PCL in my knee, and possible spinal injury, not to mention all the contusions all over my body. John, I cannot lift my left arm or move my left leg which indicates potential nerve damage. But that's okay because as I proved last night, when I'm in that ring, I'm a fierce competitor. But let me remind you, when I'm outside that ring, I'm a WWE executive. I wanna make sure you and everyone knows that you or anyone else cannot lay a finger on me again. If you do, you will be immediately terminated. But enough about me. I'd like to introduce to you the man who this past Saturday I rehired and actually gave a great bonus to. A man that in four weeks, John, you will face at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey in a pay-per-view called &quot;No Way Out.&quot; That's right, John. The man who knocked you out, The Big Show.
:''[Big Show's music plays and Big Show comes to the stage]'':
:'''Jerry''': I don't know how this guy can even show his face out here. The Big Show, what...?
:'''Big Show''': Well, John, I'm sure you and everyone else would like an explanation for my actions. Quite frankly, none are you are entitled to my explanation. However, however I will say last week on this show, I was on my knees to this man doing something I have never done before, begging for my job. No one loves this business more than I do. Our fans, our superstars, our production and technical crew. I was so upset I actually found myself crying. All of you watched a grown man, a giant crying on worldwide television? ''[hears &quot;You're a sellout&quot; chants]'' I'm a sellout. Again, I get no sympathy from any of you. No sympathy! None! 18 years of my life, nothing! I did what I had to do! I did what each and every one of you what I've done! I have an ironclad contract now and I'm proud of it! How dare you, Cena? How dare you? How dare any of you, any of you judge me?! How dare you?! How dare you? Cena, I will be judging you... look at me! I will be judging you June 17th. There will be no way out because you, my friend, I'm gonna knock out.

=== May 28 ===
:'''Big Show''': ''[mock smiling]'' You see this? This is me doing my job. This... this is me smiling. Smiling. It was easy making you people smile. Tell you the truth, I didn't mind doing it. But make no mistake about it, it was a calculated business decision. I made a living at it. I was a business man. I just also happen to be a giant. See, but all that's over now. Oh, that's so nice. What. That's so good. That's why I love you all so much. See, the reason I don't have to do that anymore and put on that smile is because I have an ironclad contract. ''[hears &quot;Cena&quot; chants]'' I have an ironclad contract with a big fat bonus, which means I'm set for life. Which means I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, to whoever I want, and I don't have to be concerned about putting smiles on you people's faces. I'm 7-foot tall, 441 pounds. I am not an entertainer. I am a giant. Let's face it, people, there's no one in my league. There's no helmet, shoulder-pad, four month out-of-the-year NFL player. There's no toothpick, noodle arm NBA player. There's no phony UFC so-called fighter. And there is certainly, there is certainly not anyone in the WWE that is in my league. And maybe that's why. Maybe that's why not one single WWE superstar came to my defense... came to my defense when, at the most humiliating moment of my life, when I was on my knees begging for my job. Just minutes after I was begging, this happened. ''[clip shows from May 14]'' My tears were not even dry in the ring and Brodus Clay is out there dancing. DANCING! Two guys that I thought were my friends, Kofi and Truth, they're just out there yucking it up, having a good ol' time and... and you people, all of you waving, clapping, having a great time. It's fun, wasn't it? It was easy for you people just to... just to move on. ''[hears &quot;Cena&quot; chants again]'' You people... you people are so shallow. You're so phony. But after all that, there's one man, there's one guy that disappointed me even more than all of you and that man's name is John Cena. When I saw John Cena in the ring, I thought he was gonna confront John Laurinaitis. I thought he was gonna fight for me. I thought he was gonna fight for his friend. I thought... I thought Cena was gonna threaten in an entire WWE locker room mutiny unless John Laurinaitis hired me right there, right back on the spot. Instead, your hero, John Cena, did this. ''[clip shows from May 14]'' Cena made jokes. I guess that's all I am. I guess that's all I am to all of you people as well, just one big joke. Well, Cena hurt me when he decided he didn't care. And last week, I hurt him. I knocked John Cena out twice within 24 hours. Now, what I'm gonna do to John Cena at No Way Out, it won't be pretty. John Cena is not gonna be standing across the ring from a businessman, John Cena is gonna be standing across the ring from an unstoppable giant. You think John Cena suffered his greatest loss in his career when he lost at Wrestlemania to The Rock? You think John Cena suffered the worst beating of his life when he faced Brock Lesnar? You think John Cena suffered the most embarrassing moment of his career when he lost to John Lauriaitis at Over the Limit? At No Way Out, John Cena is gonna experience all three of those things in one night, and that... that ''[mock smiling]'' puts a smile on my face.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cody Rhodes''': Like I said, I respect what Christian has done, but again, he sits on the fence between classic and contemporary, in my opinion.
:'''Jerry''': What does that mean? What does that mean, &quot;sits on the fence&quot;?
:'''Cody''': Well, I'm trying to be nice, Jerry. It means he's old, old like you.

=== July 30 ===
:'''CM Punk''': &quot;WrestleMania moments&quot; are what most everybody in the locker room always talks about, everybody wants their WrestleMania moment. But last week, I had myself a ''Raw'' moment; it was a ''Raw'' moment that was bigger than most people's WrestleMania moments. But before I get into why I did exactly what I did to the Rock, I wanna shed some light on something. I want to bring to your attention the way ''Raw 1,000'' went off the air, I was uncomfortable with. I...it left a bad taste in my mouth. The way the 1,000th episode of ''Raw'' went off the air was with Jerry Lawler saying, and I quote, &quot;CM Punk has turned his back on the WWE Universe.&quot;
:''[He turns and looks right at Jerry. He leaves the ring and sits on the announcers' table looking right at him.]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Cat got your tongue, King? You did say that.
:'''CM Punk''': I don't get it, Jerry. I mean, I'm used to really bad, overly dramatic hyperbole on commentary, but...that was horrible, even for you. How do you jump to such a conclusion? I mean, if anything, it was you who turned your back on me because the last time I checked, the Rock was not the WWE Universe. The Rock is one single, solitary man. He's a larger-than-life, extremely charismatic...delusional movie star who came in and showed me, ''[holds up the WWE Championship]'' the WWE Champion, an incredible lack of respect.
:First off, he interrupted me, which is something nobody should ever do. He interrupted me, and when he went into his little tired shtick with Daniel Bryan, he acted as if I wasn't even in the ring. I was almost invisible to him. And then when he does what I can only imagine in his brain is lowering himself to talk to me, he tells me that he's been gifted with a championship match at the Royal Rumble, and he acts as if he's just going to take my championship from me? The respect he didn't show me, I showed him right then and there because he's lucky I didn't drop him on the spot. He...he's fortunate that I didn't hurt him right then and there. And then at the end of the night, ''Dwayne'' does what Dwayne does best, and he tries to make the show all about him. He tries to make ''Raw's'' 1,000th episode all about him. And that's exactly when I showed him the kind of man he's dealing with, come Royal Rumble. 'Cause this is not a popularity contest, this is not ballet, this is the WWE and ''I'' am its Champion. You understand me, Jerry?
:And what's the Rock's response been? We haven't heard from him in a week, which is funny to a guy like me because when he was battling with John Cena, you couldn't shut him up. But now...now the Rock has found his silence, and I know what that means. So when it comes to you and your little agenda, however you wanna spin, however you wanna spin it, you can say what I did or didn't do to John Cena, the 1,000th episode of ''Monday Night Raw'' ended the exact way every episode of ''Monday Night Raw'' should end—with the focus and the attention and the spotlight on the WWE Champion, ''[holds up the title again]'' the best wrestler in the world.

=== September 3 ===
:'''The Miz''': You know, he can make all the excuses in the world, but let's face it—Heath Slater needs to start turning his career around. Now Zack Ryder, on the other hand, look at him. This guy does everything, he goes above and beyond. Social media guru—this guy is on YouTube with his ''Z! True Long Island Story'', he's on Facebook, he's on Twitter, he's interactive with his WWE Universe, and that's why they love him so much.
:'''Michael Cole''': Yeah, well, what about Heath Slater? Come on, he's the &quot;One Man Band!&quot;
:'''The Miz''': I got a song he can cover. How about [[Beck|Beck's]] &quot;[[w:Loser (Beck song)|Loser]]&quot;?

=== September 10 ===

:'''Bret Hart''': Let me ask you this, John Cena: what are you gonna do to finally shut this phony little punk up?
:'''CM Punk''': &quot;Phony&quot;? &quot;Phony&quot;? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the people. Did you call me a phony?
:'''Bret''': A phony little punk.
:'''John Cena''': Hitman, let me handle this one. Yes, he called you a phony. Does that irritate you? Does that make you wanna come down here and maybe do something about it? If that's the case, I'm calling you a phony too. Two things happen at this point—you either stay up there, or you come down here. And there's forty feet of distance and three ropes between you and the worst decision of your life.
:'''CM Punk''': Well, if that isn't [[the pot calling the kettle black|the pot calling the kettle black]], I don't know what is. It's quite ironic, the biggest phony in World Wrestling Entertainment history decides to point his finger and cast judgment on its champion. Well, John-Boy, I don't need your judgment, and I don't need your permission. I do what I want, I do what I decide, and right now I've decided to come out here and defend my good name in the face of such rampant, ridiculous disrespect. It almost breaks my heart to see the two of you standing in the ring together. It makes me realize, wow, the Hitman and John Cena are so much alike; and trust me, that's not a compliment. You two can sit here, pat each other on the back, and have a little powwow and talk about how great the both of you were at being the top guy, and completely neglect to mention the fact that you were both unceremoniously surpassed by somebody far superior than yourselves. John, in your instance, I, of course, am speaking of me; and Hitman, in your case, obviously, I'm talking about Shawn Michaels. And by the way, you can't draw a line of comparison between CM Punk and Shawn Michaels. Not the old Shawn, not the new Shawn, because I am better than Shawn Michaels. Oh, hey, hey, Bret, Hitman, you remember that...that hillbilly you made pass out to your little Sharpshooter at [[w:WrestleMania 13|WrestleMania 13]]? Stone Cold Steve Austin? ''[like to a child]'' I'm better than him too.
:And I'm better than The Rock, and we all said, we all knew, and we all saw what I did to him in one night, when he showed me one iota of disrespect. Hell, John-Boy, I did in one night what you couldn't do in an entire calendar year. I am the best ''wrestler'', I am the best ''talker'', I am the best ''technician'', I am the best ''brawler''. And I don't say these things from a place of insecurity, and I apologize for your lack of self-confidence, but I say it because I am it! And that makes me anything but a phony.
:'''John Cena''': He's right. He's right. Because that last statement actually makes you a liar, a hypocrite, and a conceited scumbag. Congratulations! You can also add that to your resume.
:You know, listening to these people tonight, I realize that Montreal is a very honest city. For years, WWE has referred to this building as Bizarro World. Quite frankly, you folks are just honest. You tell us how you feel, whether it's something we wanna hear or not. Tonight, I'm gonna take a lesson from Montreal and actually hit you in the face with a dose of truth, whether you want to hear it or not.
:For 300 days, you have been WWE Champion; for 300 days, that championship has been irrelevant. Month after month, you watch main event by main event pass you by. And your excuse, that there's some sort of weird political conspiracy against you. But the fact is there is no you. You see, you have been here for many, many, many years, and the night you made the most noise was, ironically, the night your microphone was turned silent. Ah, I remember those days. Talk about change. Passionate, convicting talk of change. And then one triumphant night in Chicago, when you were the victor and the universe finally said, &quot;we get change!&quot; And they were lied to. They were fooled into a false claim, because change was not ice cream bars, change was not edgy television, change wasn't even new talent. All you meant by &quot;we want change&quot; is &quot;make CM Punk a star.&quot; You don't even know who CM Punk is.
:I remember in those rants that you once said that I'd become what I despise, in reference to success. No, I went from an underdog to an odds-on favorite, but I did it as me. Through all of this, through all of this, the wins, the losses, the championships, the year when I didn't win the big one at WrestleMania, the embarrassment, the humility, I've had to stand on my own two feet and do it...as me.
:Then there's you. You have changed your ideology numerous times, you've stabbed your friends in the back, you borrow colors from Hall-of-Famers, you steal the elbow of the late Randy Savage. All because you have yet to find you. I'm not saying you're not tough—I've been in the ring with you. And I'm not saying you're not accomplished. But your latest phase of development revolves around this. ''[Pointing to the WWE Championship]'' You think because you have this, you are justified respect. No, the reason you have that and have kept it is by any means necessary, and that does not define a champion in my eyes. So at Night of Champions, you're going to have to search for a new identity. You've been really, really loud these past weeks because you finally realize, at Night of Champions, you are in serious jeopardy of losing this.
:I didn't want to do this, but the city of Montreal has kind of owed me a favor, so I'm gonna pay one back to you. I'm a little rusty. ''Me je parle un petit Francais (I speak a little French). CM Punk﻿ parle qu'il va victoir avec la nuit de champion, mais je vais lui botter le cul.'' Which means...
:'''CM Punk''': Which means you have lowered yourself! You have lowered yourself to their level. To speak their language? To speak the languages of the locals? You have lowered yourself!
:'''John Cena''': ENOUGH! Enough. Listen up, Jack, I don't lower myself to them because they are the reason we are here! You are an ignorant son-of-a-bitch, and you need a little bit of respect! So, in English, what I said was, &quot;you ''say'' you're gonna win at Night of Champions, but I'm just gonna kick your ass!&quot;

=== November 26 ===

:'''Michael Cole''': Dean, Seth, Roman, been my pleasure to known you guys for a while now and worked with you down in the developmental territory in NXT. And it seems a bit odd though to be conducting this interview tonight under these circumstances. It was eight nights ago at Survivor Series, many people say that you came...
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Many people? Who are these people? Michael, if you got a question to ask us, just ask.
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay. Are you three working directly for WWE Champion CM Punk?
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Nope.
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay. So if you're not working for Punk, then why are you guys here?
:'''Seth Rollins''': Now that's the question, Michael. That's the question you should be asking. You see, we sat down in NXT and we saw things clearly. Crystal clear, actually. You see, everybody around here has to answer to the likes of the Vickie Guerreros and the Booker Ts. And Vickie and Booker, they have to answer to the Board of the Directors. And Board of Directors ultimately has to answer to the WWE Universe. The almighty WWE Universe. What is that, Michael? What is that? It's a popularity contest. And that's not right. That's wrong, Michael. We saw things heading in the wrong direction. We stepped in and righted those wrongs. Michael, we are a shield from injustice in WWE.
:'''Michael Cole''': I mean, come on, guys. There is no denying that everything you've done so far has benefited CM Punk.
:'''Seth Rollins''': Michael, it's coincidence. Happenstance. You ever heard of it?
:'''Dean Ambrose''': It's not about benefiting Punk. It's about right and wrong. CM Punk, the WWE Champion, was forced to defend his title in a Triple Threat Match against two guys he already had defeated. That's wrong. So we stepped in. If had been Ryback or Cena, we would have done the same thing. If Ryback was champion for 365 days and Punk tried to ruin his party, we would have intervened on Ryback's behalf. 365 days as champion in this era? That's a huge milestone. That should be celebrated, right?
:'''Michael Cole''': Roman, I would love to get your take on all this.
:'''Roman Reigns''': When I want to say something, I'll say it.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Look, Cole, we see what you're getting at, okay? We hear everything you guys are saying. We read everything that's being written. Okay? We know what you guys are thinking. But we're not renegades, we're not mercenaries, we're not the Nexus, and if you're looking for the nWo, go buy the DVD. We are about principles. We're about honor. Where honor no longer exists, we're gonna step in. It's like he said: We're a shield from injustice.
:'''Seth Rollins''': Yeah.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': We're a shield from injustice. ''[The three look at each other and like the sound of it]'' We are [[w:The Shield (professional wrestling)|The Shield]].
:'''Michael Cole''': Okay, so...
:'''Roman Reigns''': Hey, I got something to say. We've said enough. This interview is over, man.

== 2013 ==

=== January 7 ===

:'''CM Punk''': The time has come to tell you all something very personal. You see, I keep my ear to the ground, and I hear everything everybody says, and for the past year and a half, the words &quot;pipe bomb&quot; have been completely misunderstood and misused. It doesn't seem anybody in the Universe understands what it means, anybody in this company doesn't understand what a pipe bomb is. Basically, what a pipe bomb is, in its truest form, is the truth. It's honesty. You boil it down, and the essence of a pipe bomb is exactly what all of you lack—honesty. Seems the perception of me is someone who was a little disgruntled, sat down on the stage in Las Vegas, and aired his grievances and said &quot;pipe bomb.&quot; I became the Voice of the Voiceless, and then maybe my ego was like a runaway train and I suddenly bitched and moaned and complained about respect and how I didn't get enough of it. And then I turned my back on the people.
:Well, that's a lie. Don't be mistaken. I meant everything I said when I said it, except the part about ice cream, 'cause I look out here and the last thing any of you people need is more bars of ice cream. But I was shortchanged and I was disrespected. And sure, I could have just swallowed that bitter pill and accepted my position in the company like everybody else in the back, or I could have left. Instead I made a conscious decision and I sold out. To you. To you, I sold out; to me, I cashed in. See, I created this persona, this rebel, this antihero that you all love to cheer for because I knew that you all love to cheer for your superheroes. Because here is the truth about Las Vegas, here is the truth about the WWE, is that it doesn't matter that if you're the best wrestler, it doesn't matter if you're the best talker, it doesn't matter if you're the best overall performer, it doesn't matter if you make the two clowns sitting to my left on commentary look like amateur hour. There is a glass ceiling and nobody is allowed to break it.
:That's the simple story of this place. The more popular you are, the more money you make. The more ''you'' people cheer for any given superstar, the more opportunities you're afforded. Why do you think a guy like John Cena, who has admittedly had the worst year of his career, gets title shot after title shot after title shot after title shot? Or why a lethal grappler, why a serious submission specialist like Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and saddles himself, belittles himself with catchphrases. Or why a 400 pound monster, Brodus Clay, soils his hands by touching your filthy, ugly, little children to get in the ring so he can shuck and jive for you. Or why an invisible child, Little Jimmy, is better positioned on the flagship show Monday Night RAW than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd.
:Look at them, they're doing it now. You're doing it now! You're falling for everything I say, you're playing into my hands, but this is the way it is and this is the way you want it because this is the way you handle it. It's easy, it's saccharine, it's simple to digest because you people can't handle anything complicated, you people can't stomach anything interesting. This is the way it's been since the beginning of the time. We're all here in the circus to entertain you. And nobody's ever been able to attain a modicum of success without ''you.''
:Except for now. Until I showed up. I've become the most successful WWE Champion of all time. Not of the modern era. No, that's another little buzzword that somebody backstage wants you to say. They probably wanna put it on a t-shirt. But that's the way you get noticed. You don't get noticed until you start to move a couple of t-shirts around here. If I... if I competed in Bruno Sammartino's era, I'd have been champion for 20 years, too. No, I'd have been champion for 30 years. Because wrestling one night a month at Madison Square Garden is easy. You never see a Hulk Hogan wrestle TLC matches against a superstar like Ryback. Because he had it easy. I wrestle physically demanding matches on free television, week in and week out. So much that my one year equals 30 of theirs. And I have attained this success, not... not because of you. I am successful not because of you. I am successful ''in spite'' of you.
:Now, I'm the most honest man in this building, I'm the most honest man in this company 'cause everybody else has got the same, old, tired crybaby story. They'll come out here and they'll say &quot;I do it for the people, I do it for all of you. Let's hear it for Tampa, Florida!&quot; Here's some honesty. I watched Roddy Piper smash a coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head and I sure as hell didn't say &quot;Golly Gee! I can't wait to go electrify the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.&quot; No! Because I don't care about the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.
:There's good guys and there's bad guys in this world, and make no mistake about it, ladies and gentlemen, I am a bad, bad man and I can freely admit it. But Ric Flair will come out here and he'll cry his 182-year eyes out and say &quot;Oh, I did it for all of you.&quot; Now they're wooing. Shawn Michaels can come out here and lose his smile and find his smile, but then in a... in a tearful Hall of Fame speech, he'll say that his entire career was just to gain your acceptance. Then a man like Edge is forced to retire and he'll say that he misses competing for people like you. Now, these people, these men are either weak, or they're dishonest and they're liars. It's either one or the other. But I— I'm neither weak nor dishonest. I'm the best in the world.
:Two types of people on this earth. Those born to be in the spotlight, and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight. Ladies and gentlemen, there's winner and losers. Guess which one you are. You're born to pay to see champions like me, it's not the other way round. And I'll be the first guy to come out here and admit it, I'm honest. I have never ever done this for any of you. There's superstars and there's nobodies. I am a superstar, you are all nobodies. And I'm a real superstar. Those real superstars, hell, if they're your friends, why don't they come out here and give you the millions and millions of dollars they earn? Why don't they line your pockets? 'Cause that's... that's not your position on earth.
:Uh, I'm being told that we have to take a commercial break. I'm not done, let me explain something to you. Let me explain something to everybody in the truck. We don't go to break when you wanna go to break. We go to break when the Champ wants to go to break! Listen up and understand something 'cause the Rock's gonna come out here and he's gonna talk a whole lot. Well, I will now tell you the most important thing you're gonna hear tonight. ''[Pointing to random people in the audience]'' You do not matter, you do not matter, you do not matter. None of you matter. What you want doesn't matter. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[after commercial break]
:'''CM Punk''': So I stand here on the first Raw of 2013 your WWE Champion, and I promise you in one years time, I will stand in this ring on the first Raw of 2014 still your WWE Champion. What fuels me is your constant disappointment in your self-appointed superheroes to be able to drag this title away from me, and now The Rock has come back, but it's not gonna change the fact, that I am the WWE Champion. And I'm not gonna let The Rock tear down everything that I fought so hard to attain, no no no no no no no..... not at all, no, in 2011, when I defeated Alberto Del Rio for this title at Madison Square Garden, I didn't just beat Alberto Del Rio, I beat the system. And every time after that, when I beat one of your superheroes, and I don't care if it was John Cena, Ryback, Chris Jericho, Kane, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, any of the litany of Superstars that I defeated, I wasn't just beating them, I was beating all of you. And for 414 days, that's exactly what I've done. In your face, jerks. I have beaten you. I have stomped you out under my oppressive boot and I'm gonna do the same thing to The Rock because I don't care if he's back, you all do not get to win. You are losers. You do not get to win. You do not...(The Rock theme song comes on)

:'''The Rock''': The Rock had to hear it all. The Rock wanted to wait until you said everything you had to say, so the Rock knew exactly the kind of man he's dealing with at the Royal Rumble. And now it's become crystal clear to the Rock. You are straight up delusional. You keep mentioning that number 414. 414 days you've been WWE champion. That's incredible, incredible. The real number, it ain't 414, Jack. The real number that haunts your dreams is 20. 20 excuses running around your mind right now. 20 hairs standing up on your straight edge scrotum. Because you know, you know in 20 days you're gonna be defending that WWE Championship against the Rock which means in 20 days you know, the Rock knows, they know, in 20 days, time's up.
:You wanted change, you wanted a revolution. You say that when you became WWE Champion, you rejected the people. No, no, no, no. The people rejected you. You talked about change, you couldn't do it. You talked about revolution, you couldn't do it. You came out and you promised everybody ice cream bars. Ice cream bars for everybody! And you couldn't even do that. You couldn't provide ice cream if the Dairy Queen, Carvel, and Cookie Puss drove an ice cream truck straight up your ass.
:I want you to listen to something. Listen to something, Punk, listen. That's— voices. Voices. You claim, you claim to be the voice of the voiceless, but that's a bunch of hot garbage because here in the WWE Universe, there ain't no such thing as the voiceless. They have...they have voices. And they love to use their voice. They use it every single night. Every night they use their voices. As a matter of fact, as a matter of fact, they know something special is getting ready to happen right now. They're gonna use their voice, they're gonna chant the loudest chant you have ever heard. They're gonna chant, they're gonna chant something that is gonna follow you for the rest of your life. They're gonna chant, They're not gonna chant &quot;respect,&quot; they're not gonna chant &quot;best in the world,&quot; they're gonna chant exactly what you are. In three seconds they're gonna chant, &quot;Cookie Puss, Cookie Puss.&quot;
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' Cookie Puss! Cookie Puss!
:'''CM Punk''': Be the puppets that you are. He got you chanting about ice cream the same way I did a year and a half ago. Congratulations. They still don't get to win. You don't get to win.
:'''The Rock''': They don't get to win? They don't get to win? Oh, they've already won! They've already won. See, that's something you fail to realize. They've already won. They won the moment the Rock woke up this morning at 4:00 AM. The Rock woke up this morning at 4:00 AM. He sent out his early morning tweet to the world. Then the Rock ate his famous pancakes. Then the Rock went to the gym, clanging and banging and clanging and banging. Then the Rock got in his pickup truck and he drove up right up I-75, right through Alligator Alley! Right through Alligator Alley, so the Rock can stand right here, right here in the middle of this ring in front of you, in front of them, in front of the world and proudly say: Finally the Rock has come back to Tampa!
:You see, Punk, it's not just that the Rock is back. No, it's ''why'' the Rock is back. Here's why the Rock is back. For three reasons. The Rock is back to entertain them. The Rock is back to stop you. And after ten long years, ten long years, the Rock is back to win ''[points to WWE Championship]'' that.
:The Rock has watched the show. Every Monday Night RAW watching you, watching you, your deceiving, your backpedaling, your lying. The Rock would watch the TV and he'd scream at the TV &quot;Good God Almighty, somebody tell this man they respect him, just so he shut his punk ass up. And while you're at it, somebody show this man a doctor.&quot; Is there a doctor in the house? Because a man who claims that he's straight edge, he's running around here looking exactly like Popeye on crack. Look at you. Punkeye the crackhead. All you need right now is a little thing in your mouth, a little, ''toot-toot!''
:CM Punk. CM Punk, you have one of the most creative and innovative minds in the history of the WWE. The Rock knows it. You fail to use it. You became WWE Champion and you also became the biggest jerk the world has ever seen. The Rock can look you in the eye and tell you this with all passion and with all heart. When the Rock is here, don't you ever say the people don't matter. They matter. They've always mattered. You're the one that doesn't matter.
:'''CM Punk''': Oh, I matter. I'm the most successful...
:'''The Rock''': IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU MATTER! The only thing that matters is that you understand, you get it straight in your head that at Royal Rumble, there ain't no way, and the Rock means NO WAY, you're gonna stop the Rock from becoming WWE Champion.
:'''CM Punk''': Unlike a lot of people I'm glad you're back. I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care if you work here 16 days a year or 365 days a year. You could be Santa Claus and have his schedule, one day a year. I'd still kick your ass. I don't care how many movies you film every year. I know how hard that schedule probably is, but every time you come back, whenever you decide to grace us with your presence, I'm gonna kick your ass. Because this isn't candy land. I'm like nobody you've ever faced before. You can make fun of the color of my t-shirt and you can talk about pie and you can sing songs and you can rhyme, and you can do your tired, lame-ass schtick. I just want you to know that come Royal Rumble, and you have about three weeks to realize this, I'm gonna kick your ass 'cause I'm the best in the world. I'm the best thing going today. I'm the best guy you've ever stepped foot in the ring with. And you need to understand, congratulations, Rock, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You're playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your &quot;millions and millions&quot; and your &quot;finallys&quot;. And I'm in the big leagues and I'm swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it's all kiddie games. You can't leave a mark on the Champ's face. Come Royal Rumble, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God.
:'''The Rock''': You may think that the Rock is boxing with God. But the Rock knows for a fact you are going one-on-one with the Great One. Don't you think... don't you think for one single, solitary second that the Rock doesn't know how bad you are, how dangerous you are, how tough you are. The Rock knows that. 414 days. The Rock knows the last time we were in the middle of this ring you hit the Rock with a GTS and you knocked him out cold. Cold as a block of ice. The Rock didn't forget it. You hurt the Rock. You embarrassed the Rock. He said it before, he'll say it again. In 20 days, time's up.
:But here's the thing. This is what the Rock wants you to do— from now until then. The Rock wants you to go home and think about the next 20 days. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home and look in the mirror. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home, look in the mirror and strip naked. That's what the Rock wants you to do. Go ahead and look at yourself. Don't concentrate on your Cookie Puss. Turn around and look at your backside. Turn around, look at your backside and let's try and find a small space on this body that's not covered in ugly tattoos because the Rock wants you to get two more tattoos. Some more tattoos. Here's the thing. Go ahead, on your left butt cheek the Rock wants you to get a tattoo of a big, fat M&amp;M. And then add a Snickers, a Milky Way, a Mounds. You can't have an Almond Joy because unlike you, Almond Joys actually have nuts. And then... and then on your right butt cheek, this is what the Rock wants you to do. The Rock wants you to get a tattoo of the Rock's size 15 shoe, so you will have a lifetime reminder of how badly the Rock is gonna kick your candy ass at Royal Rumble.

=== January 14 ===
:''[The Rock has an Eric Clapton song for Vickie Guerrero]''
:'''The Rock''': Late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear.
:She puts on her makeup. She brushes her short, black hair
:And then she'll ask me, &quot;Do I look alright?&quot;
:And I said, &quot;No biatch! You look [[w:Wonderful Tonight|horrible tonight]].&quot;
 
:You abuse all your powers. Waste everybody's time.
:You dress like a hooker... not the expensive kind.
:So get your ass to the airport, take a one-way flight,
:Because biatch, you look horrible tonight.
:I said biatch, you look horrible tonight.
:'''Vickie Guerrero''': Are you kidding me?!?! How dare you do that to me?! How dare you?!?
:'''The Rock''': Hold on Vickie, don't go anywhere, cause we wanna sing you out. We'll sing goodbye properly ''[audience joins in]'' &quot;We said biatch, you look horrible tonight.&quot; ''[Vickie slowly walks out]'' Houston, Texas, that is one horrible-looking beeyatch.

=== April 8 ===
:'''Josh Mathews''': How does it feel to be the new World Heavyweight Champion?
:'''Dolph Ziggler''': You know, Josh, I have been too damn good for too damn long. Now I knew, I ''knew'' I just needed the right time and the right place, and I found it tonight. Now I know it's the day after, but this...''this'' is my WrestleMania moment! I'm the showoff, 'cause I'm gonna take my new championship, shine it up, and show it off. It's about damn time.

=== July 8 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': I have no followers, I have only brothers and sisters, all in the name of cause. People are sheep, you understand me? They can't lead themselves, they need to be lead. People buy and sell fear. They worship war, they crave war. But I'm not afraid of their wars. I created war! And I think it's time for the masses to wake up, wake up, WAKE UP! Wake up and look at this lie they're living in man! The world is deteriorating between their toes, and they do nothing about it. They only stand there, they whisper and wonder but never do anything about it! But I've seen it all in my dreams and in my thoughts, and above everything else, I understand. This is not the beginning, it's the end. We're here.

=== July 15 ===

:'''Paul''': You know what I'm looking at right now? I'm looking at an empty ring because in ''my'' world, you don't exist. Try this one on for size—am I lying? In 2005, WWE had no vision for you. CM Punk was a figment of Paul Heyman's imagination. And what did I do? I took you in, I befriended you, I taught you, I trained you, I ''martyred my entire career'' for you. And then we reached the holy grail together. ''We'' were the reigning, defending WWE Champion for 434 days. ''We'' were the longest-reigning WWE Champion of the past 25 years. ''We'' came within an ''inch'' of breaking the Undertaker's streak at [[WrestleMania##WrestleMania 29|WrestleMania]]. ''We'', CM Punk, ''we'' were the best in the world. And here's part of the equation you seem to forget about—without me, there is no we. Without Paul Heyman, CM Punk, you're not the best in the world.
:''[To audience]'' See, you can boo that all you want, 'cause everybody's been stopping me and asking me the same question: &quot;Paul Heyman, what happened here? Why, Paul Heyman? Why did you betray CM Punk? Paul Heyman, you are a Judas!&quot;
:Here's the truth, because I'll tell you why I have such an aversion to the truth. Because the truth is a lot harder pill to swallow, Mr. Straight Edge, than a spin on things. The truth is, you failed ''us'' when you couldn't defeat the Undertaker at WrestleMania. And when you went home, you found yourself. And CM Punk comes back to WWE...and you think you're better than me. CM Punk—better than Paul Heyman.
:So I lied to you. I manipulated you. I played you because you can never claim that CM Punk dumped Paul Heyman. No, history is going to write that Paul Heyman dumped CM Punk! You didn't want a business relationship with me, you wanted to keep it personal. So I made it as personal as I could possibly make it. Come on, you know this to be true. Here's the truth—you have no family. You're estranged from your own mother and father, you have no wife, you have no children. All you have ''[indicating the crowd]'' is them. All you have is the WWE Universe. All you have is their admiration! All you have is their respect! All you have is their affirmation! Listen to them!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' CM PUNK!
:'''Paul''': And all you want, all you crave, all you need in your life is the WWE Championship. You took my best friend away from me, and I took your chance at the WWE Title away from you and each and every one of them! You're gonna find out, as bad a reputation as I have in business, I'm a whole lot worse personally. And here's the kicker to it all, ''best friend, brother, business son'', man who wouldn't be my client. You made me swear on my children, but it was my children who made me see this so clear. &quot;Daddy, why doesn't Punk listen to you like Brock listens to you? Daddy, isn't Brock going to hurt Punk? Daddy, can Punk beat Brock Lesnar?&quot;
:And if you wanna know why I double-crossed you, why I betrayed you, why I cost you your opportunity to cash in Money in the Bank and go for the WWE Title, here's the harshest truth of them all—I betrayed you because, CM Punk, you can't beat Brock Lesnar!
:'''CM Punk''': Are you done? You wanna talk about the truth? I saw first-hand [[w:Money in the Bank (2013)|last night]] that the truth does hurt. And maybe I should have seen it coming, but damn it, Paul, I trusted you. And all I have to show for it now is these thirteen staples in my head. But another truth is that you know me better than anybody, and you know when I'm lying, and you know when I'm telling the truth, and you know when I want something bad enough, I am the most relentless man on the planet. And I will not stop until I get it! And the truth is, Paul, I'm gonna get you.
:This time, ''I'' swear on ''your'' children that I am gonna get you. And I will get everybody that conspired against me, every single one of your associates, everybody who profited from it, everybody who had knowledge of it, anybody who enjoyed it. Your friends, your clients, your family, anybody in between the time I get my hands on you and now that steps in between you and I and opens their eyes at me, I will get my hands on and I will rip apart and I will hurt!
:You want the truth? The truth is, you don't have a future, because I'm gonna burn down everything around you until you're the last man standing, and I'm gonna keep you alive just long enough to look you in the eye and hurt you worst of all! So tell me, you son-of-a-bitch! Am I lying?!
:'''Paul''': No. No, you're not lying, and since you want to tip your hand and tell me I have a lack of a future, let me spell your immediate future out for you. ''[Kneels down and mocks CM Punk's opening ritual]'' IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!!!

=== July 29 ===

:'''Bray''': ''[to Kane]'' I heard you like to call yourself &quot;the Devil's Favorite Demon.&quot; But you, sir, are ''NO DEMON!'' And the Devil? No, man...shh, shh, shh. Kane, I'd like to let you in on a little secret now. You ought to be careful who you say those things in front of, because you never know ''[whispering] who might be listening.'' FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS!!!

=== August 26 ===

:'''AJ Lee''': OMG, you guys, I just watched last night's episode of ''Total Divas'', and it was insane. Oh, my gosh. The Bellas were dealing with their obvious daddy issues, the Funkadactyls broke up and got back together again, Natalya's fiance isn't much of a man...and the other two were also there. It was great, it really was, and...it was the end of the world, and it's only Sunday nights on the E! Network!
:Do you want to know what I see when I look in that ring? Honestly? A bunch of cheap, interchangeable, expendable, useless women. Women who have turned to reality television 'cause they just weren't gifted enough to be actresses. And they just weren't talented enough to be Champion. I have saved your Divas division, I have shattered glass ceilings, I have broken down doors. Why? So...so a bunch of ungrateful, stiff, plastic mannequins can waltz on through without even as much as a &quot;thank you&quot;?
:You guys can't even go backstage and shake my hand and look me in the eye because you know that I worked my entire life to get here. I gave my life to this, and you were just handed fifteen minutes of fame! I didn't get here because I was cute or because I came from some famous wrestling family or because I ''sucked''...up to the right people. I got here because I am good. I earned this championship. And no matter how many red carpets you guys wanna walk down in your $4,000 ridiculous heels, you will never be able to lace up my Chuck Taylors. You're all worthless excuses for women, and you will never be able to touch me, and ''that'' is reality.

=== September 9 ===

:'''Michael Cole''': What is your problem with the cast of ''Total Divas''?
:'''AJ Lee''': My problem with the cast of ''Total Divas'' is that they're the cast of a reality show. They are not here for this title.
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[back to the match]'' The Rear View by Naomi. If she connects with that on Sunday...
:'''AJ Lee''': This is what is reality, this championship. And you know what? All week long, these girls have been Tweeting about me, talking about me, yelling to .com, crying and screaming. You know why? They're complaining and IMing their every single thought because they know I'm right and I'm getting to them.
:'''JBL''': Is that how fights start nowadays, you Tweet each other?
:'''AJ Lee''': For them, apparently; I said what I had to say to their face.
:'''Jerry''': So you have no desire to go on that reality show and really mix it up with those girls?
:'''JBL''': It's certainly a big hit.
:'''AJ Lee''': I have the date I won this title [https://twitter.com/WWEAJLee/status/374621087474384896/photo/1 tattooed on the back of my neck]. This is all I care about.
:'''Jerry''': So...any other tattoos?
:'''AJ Lee''': I think I'm a little too old for you, Jerry—I'm 26, I know you like 'em younger.

=== October 21 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It's an execution live on WWE pay-per-view, as &quot;The Best in the World&quot; CM Punk straps me into the electric chair, puts the poison into my veins, lines me up in front of the firing squad and pulls the trigger himself! For the first time ever — and for the first time ever again — it will never, ever happen...as a non-participant actually gets locked inside of a cell with a man who does not spend his night fantasizing about the ''Divas''. CM Punk spends his night fantasizing and obsessing about the massacre he wants to inflict upon Paul Heyman. CM Punk wants to take me down, take me out, DRIVE ME AWAY from WWE forever!
:But just like when a volcano is trapped inside of a dormant mountain, when that volcano finally erupts, ''[now screaming] and the lava — the molten lava — drips down the side of the mountain... I'm just like that lava! I'm red-hot! I'm out of control! And all of the villagers, with the lava pouring down into their houses, destroying their cars, suffocating and melting their flesh, and the villagers are going, &quot;Run for your lives! Run for your lives! Run for your lives!&quot; They're the ones that love and worship CM Punk! And I'm the one''...that has a different strategy.
:Because I'm not all filled with emotion like CM Punk, Renee. I'm cold-hearted. And I'm calculated. And I'm in control...the same way I have controlled CM Punk all of these years. The same way I control my monster, Ryback. And CM Punk cannot get past my monster, Ryback, which means CM Punk can't get his hands on me. Which is why Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, I'm not locked in a cell with CM Punk, CM Punk is locked in a cell with me.

=== December 9 ===

:''[The WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship hanging in the ring, with twenty former World Champions standing]''
:'''Randy Orton''': Better than anyone, I know what you are capable of; but I also know what you're ''not'' capable of. Remember years ago, when you were making a name for yourself, you claimed you had ruthless aggression. Well, if you had it then, you don't have it anymore because ''if'' you did, you would've put me in the hospital last Monday night on ''Raw''. But you didn't. You couldn't do it, you didn't have the stomach, and you're gonna regret that decision for the rest of your life after this Sunday.
:Now last week, John, you said that I had all the God-given natural ability in the world, but that I had gotten lazy. I did not get lazy. Sometimes, when you're that much better than all of your peers, you lack motivation, you get complacent. But John, John, fear not. I have all the motivation I need to beat your ass that Sunday at TLC ''[pointing at the titles] hanging right here!''
:You say that you don't care about being the face of the WWE, but that's...that's a lie. I know you, John. Image is everything to you. But you're gonna be the man that lost the most important match in the history of the WWE. Meanwhile...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''Randy''': ''Meanwhile,'' I am the greatest Superstar of this generation or any other! Just look around you! Look at these men in this ring! Look at Mick Foley back there! Hey, Mick! I took years off of his career. I took years, literally years off of his life! Where's HBK? ''[Shawn waves from behind Triple H]'' Showstopper Shawn Michaels, Mr. WrestleMania, I've embarrassed him on multiple occasions. And there wouldn't have even had to have been a [[w:Montreal Screwjob|screwjob in Montreal]] if I was competing 16 years ago—where are you, Bret—because I would've left you laying unconscious in the middle of that ring.
:John Cena, I need you to understand something. This Sunday at TLC, everything that you have worked so hard for, everything that you have fought so hard for, will come crashing down all around you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''John Cena''': It's funny. I couldn't help but notice you said the word, &quot;work.&quot; A little example, for one second. ''[Brings Daniel Bryan front and center, to the cheers and &quot;YES!&quot; chants of the Seattle crowd]'' Tell these people your name, please.
:'''Daniel''': My name is Daniel Bryan.
:'''John''': We'll get to know you a little bit more. Daniel, where are you from?
:'''Daniel''': I'm from Aberdeen, Washington.
:'''JBL''': Wherever that is.
:'''John''': Was either your father or your mother ever a Superstar, Hall of Fame, WWE Superstar at all? Father or mother, either one.
:'''Daniel''': No, my dad's a log scaler actually.
:'''JBL''': What?
:'''John''': So since you've been here, you've have to...''work'' for everything you've got.
:'''Daniel''': Yes.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''John''': ''[back to Randy]'' You hear that? The reason they cheer for him is because he works and he earns it! A guy like you has been given ''every single thing'' in the WWE!
:I'm about to hit you in the face with some truth. Ever since you came to the WWE Training Center, you were untouchable. You were bulletproof. You couldn't be fired. Nobody could touch Randy Orton because ''they'' liked you. And then you get to the WWE, and what happens? You get sheltered by the best performer in the business. Nothing's changed, Randy. All do you is hide behind Triple H; all you do is hide behind Stephanie McMahon; and you got the balls to stand in this ring and say you're better that everybody here?! Say you're bigger than all of this?!
:You have ''always'' blamed everybody else for your failures, you've pointed fingers, and you've made excuses. You've had behavior problems in the ring, you've had behavior problems ''outside'' the ring. And the sad thing is, the TLC match this Sunday is the biggest in WWE history. That's why everybody is here tonight. This changes the very course of the WWE. But you want these championships because you're ''selfish!'' Because you feel you deserve it! And maybe, just maybe, if you hold onto this, you can finally walk around with the rest of the Superstars and say, &quot;Hey, guys, look. I'm finally what I was supposed to be ten years ago.&quot;
:Every single time I have held either of these championships, my business card reads the same: &quot;You want some? Come get some!&quot;
:And here's the real truth. Whether these guys in the ring like me or not, they respect me because they know it. Whether it's Triple H or Shawn Michaels in a WrestleMania match, whether it's Booker T. Hell, nobody wanted to give Dolph Ziggler a chance, and what did I do? I said, &quot;Let's fight.&quot; Everybody said it was a bad idea to give CM Punk a championship match when he was gonna leave the WWE; all I saw was the best in the world. Hell, the ''only'' legitimate championship shot Daniel Bryan's ever had was against me, and he won! ''[Turns to Daniel]'' So I'll say it here in front of your hometown. If I win on Sunday, ''[shakes his hand]'' I look forward to the rematch. A ''fair'' rematch.
:You see, that's what being a champion is all about—a certain level of respect. And last week, I wasn't gonna take you out. I just wanted to make a statement that when the chips are down, I can be just as brutal as you. So right now, I'm gonna make one more statement because I know exactly what this means. ''[Sticks out his hand]'' This Sunday will be physical and it will be brutal, and I will be at my very best. I just hope you are too, because after this Sunday, the last thing anyone is gonna wanna deal with is just another Randy Orton excuse. Good luck on Sunday, you're gonna need it.

=== December 30 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[to a beaten-down Daniel Bryan]'' This is where our story ends. I have no mercy left to give! It could've been different, it could've been better, it could've been ''perfect!'' No, this is your fault. I'm gonna punish you. I want you to open your eyes. ''[Pulls Daniel by the hair]'' Open your eyes and look at your dismay! Open your eyes, Bryan! This is the end.
:'''Daniel''': You're right.
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Say it again. Say that again.
:'''Daniel''': You're right.
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Say it again! Say it again! Get up and say it again! Say it!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' NO!
:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[indicating the mic]'' You want this? ''[Bray hands it to Daniel]'' Say it!
:'''Daniel''': You're right. You were always right. No matter how many matches I won, no matter how loud these people cheered for me, you were always right. The machine...the machine would never let me win. No matter how loud you people chanted. You chanted &quot;YES!&quot; in every building I've ever been to, and they don't care. I'm yours. Let me join the Family.
:''[Daniel crawls to Bray. Bray picks up Daniel, kisses him on the forehead, and hits him with Sister Abigail.]''
:'''Bray Wyatt''': Remember, Bryan, this is forever. This is going to change everything!

== 2014 ==

=== March 3 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[on the Chicago crowd chanting &quot;CM PUNK!&quot;]'' I believe he deserves louder than that!
:'''Fans''': ''[chanting]'' CM PUNK!
:''[Paul sits in the middle of the ring]''
:'''Paul''': I came here tonight to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy. A Paul Heyman guy that was never truly wanted in WWE; a Paul Heyman guy that they thought was too small to main-event WrestleMania; a Paul Heyman guy that didn't have the right corporate look; a Paul Heyman guy that had too many tattoos; a Paul Heyman guy that would rebel against the current system, against the authority, against the first family to such a degree that they didn't want him in WWE from day one, and they don't want him in WWE right now. I came here tonight to tell you the story of a Paul Heyman guy that had the balls to say what nobody else had the balls to say. I came here tonight to tell you about a Paul Heyman guy that was born in, raised in and still lives in Chicago. My name is Paul Heyman, and, ladies and gentlemen, this is my pipe bomb about CM Punk...who is not here this evening.
:And here's the biggest part of my pipe bomb. ''[crowd chants louder]'' Hey, if you're looking for me to disagree with you, I'm sorry, I don't. No one is more disappointed that he can't see CM Punk perform in this ring tonight than I am. No one. Because if CM Punk were here tonight, he would be doing exactly what he always claimed to do, he would be proving his detractors wrong and he would be showing the entire WWE Universe that he is the best in the world.
:So what really happened? Why isn't CM Punk here tonight? Why won't anyone talk about CM Punk any more? Because there is a finger to point around here, there is someone to blame, there is someone to hold accountable why CM Punk just wouldn't just wouldn't put up with it anymore. And ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time where you have to risk your own job security and point that finger of blame; and tonight, in this very ring, I point the blame for the fact that CM Punk is not here tonight, I point that finger at each and every single one of you!
:Oh, you can boo me all you want. The truth hurts, doesn't it? This is why I've always found it so much easier in life to lie. People accept lies so much easier, but the truth does sting just a little bit, doesn't it? The fact is, when CM Punk was with me, CM Punk was the longest-reigning WWE Champion of the past twenty-five years. I provided CM Punk the bosom from which his soul could be nourished. And then, then, ''you'' took him away from me. You made CM Punk ''your'' hero, you said you would give CM Punk ''your'' love, ''your'' affection, ''your'' respect, ''your'' affirmation. And how far did it get you? You didn't just take CM Punk away from me, you took CM Punk away from yourselves.
:I don't just blame each and every single one of you, I blame someone else as well: I blame the Undertaker. Because this entire downward spiral began when we couldn't beat the Streak at last year's WrestleMania. And if anyone wants to carry a message to the Undertaker, carry this: Paul Heyman wants revenge. So how do you get revenge against the Undertaker? How do you kill what's already dead? The fact is, I want to see the Streak taken away from the Undertaker. And there's only one man on the face of the planet that can do it. I want that Streak beaten, I want the Undertaker stripped of the streak, I want the streak conquered. And there's only one man that can conquer that Streak, ''[Paul stands up]'' and he's my best friend in the world. He is the conqueror, he is the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar!

=== March 10 ===

:'''Bray Wyatt''': ''[to Hulk Hogan and John Cena]'' I have always been fascinated with pride. It is my favorite sin. It has the power to blind even the strongest men, even those who claim to be immortal. Hey kids, take your vitamins and say your prayers! All praise be to the virtue of hustle, loyalty, and respect, as if they can do you any good.
:You are both liars, and your foolish pride allows you to prey upon the weak and fill them up with this hope. But hope is dead, as will be your legacy, John. I can see it in your eyes. You don't get it. And how could you possibly get something that you can't comprehend?! But I'll lay it out for you, John, right now. If you look up at me, you will see a friend; if you look down at me, you will see an enemy; but if you look at me square in the eyes, you will see a god.
:'''John Cena''': Do you even listen to all that weird crap you're saying? You just said pride was the fall of man, and then you follow up by saying when I look at you, I should see a god. I look at you and I don't see a god. I see a homeless dude that spent too many years ''[singing] wastin' away again in Margaritaville, lookin' for his lost shaker of salt.''
:Oh, no, no, no, you didn't find any salt. You found two goons, a tiki torch, and a rocking chair from Cracker Barrel. And now you think you can waltz out here in a Hawaiian shirt and a fedora and be somebody? Well, I say prove it.

===April 7===
:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and it is the greatest privilege of my career to serve as the advocate for the Beast Incarnate, ''Brock Lesnar!'' The conqueror of the Undertaker's Streak, a streak that lasted nearly a quarter of a century. A quarter of a century that ended in three seconds at the hands of the conqueror, Brock Lesnar!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' BULLSHIT!
:'''Paul''': I understand how you feel. You're in shock, which shows me your lack of intelligence, because we hate to say we told you so, but ladies and gentlemen, ''WE TOLD YOU SO!!!'' My client stood before you with a shirt. Now, here it is, and I know how difficult it is for you to read, but it says, ''[pointing across Brock's shirt]'' &quot;Eat, sleep, break the Streak&quot;! And you had the temerity to doubt the strategy of the greatest manager in sports-entertainment history, Paul Heyman, or the physical credentials of the most dominant athlete in WWE ever, Brock Lesnar! Hey, let's get one thing straight. Brock Lesnar is not here to put smiles on people's faces; Brock Lesnar is here to shock the WWE Universe and put tears in the eyes of children.
:But now that you know all the headlines, let’s go a little bit off-page and shoot from the hip, shall we? Five seconds after walking through the curtain at WrestleMania, the Undertaker collapsed, and all the... ''[turns to audience]'' Oh, I know you don't want to hear this story, do you; it's a little too real for you. So as all the paramedics and the doctors are panicking, and there's chaos backstage, the most ruthless man to ever have the pleasure of meeting me, the chairman of the board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, left WrestleMania and rode to the hospital with the Undertaker. The Undertaker is being treated today for a severe concussion. He came ''[holds fingers about an inch apart]'' this close to a broken neck, this close to a cracked skull, and the greatest thing the Undertaker ever did was not getting his shoulder up on that third F-5 because, if he did, he ''would'' have had a broken neck, Brock Lesnar ''would'' have cracked his skull. Brock Lesnar was prepared to beat on the Undertaker to such a degree that the complexion of this television show would have changed tonight because Brock wasn't done until the Streak was dead.
:Here's what really gets to me. When the match was over, ''[points to announcers]'' {{W|John Layfield|John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield}} and {{W|Michael Cole (wrestling)|those two}} {{W|Jerry Lawler|other things}} that call themselves announcers stood up and gave a standing ovation along with 80,000 other people in the Superdome—''Super''dome, Hogan, not ''Silver''dome—and gave a standing ovation to the Undertaker. Gave a standing ovation to the guy that lost the fight. Here's what I don't understand. Brock Lesnar always taught me, in every fight, there's a winner and a loser. Well last night, the Undertaker was a ''loser,'' and the winner, whether you like it or not, was ''BROCK LESNAR!!!''
:But since this is supposed to be the wildest crowd of the year, you should all feel empowered because each and every single one of you is exactly like every single member of that WWE locker room. You're all a bunch of wannabes. When Brock Lesnar walked through that curtain last night, nobody gave him a standing ovation. Everybody looked down. Do you know why? Because nobody respected Brock Lesnar, which is fine for Brock because Brock respects nobody. He barely tolerates me, and he certainly doesn't respect someone who's gonna fly in from around the world to sit here on the Monday after WrestleMania trying to get noticed on worldwide TV!
:So notice ''this'', okay? There's a lot of people in the back who sit there and say, &quot;I could've been the one to jump from the ring to the Octagon.&quot; But Daniel Bryan never fought in an Octagon, John Cena never fought in an Octagon, the Undertaker never fought in an Octagon! You know why?! They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one! There's a lot of people who wanted to be the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion, the Ultimate Fighting Champion, the Undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion. The Rock never pulled that off, Hulk Hogan never pulled that off, Stone Cold Steve Austin never pulled that off. Know why? They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one!
:And then you've got a bunch of guys in the locker room last night coming up to me saying, ''[mocking] &quot;Hey, Paul, ''I'' could've been the one to break the Streak. I could've beaten the Undertaker.&quot;'' So why didn't you? Randy Orton didn't break the Streak, Shawn Michaels didn't break the Streak, Triple H didn't break the Streak. Know why? They're all wannabes; Brock Lesnar is the one because Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1.
:I'm sorry, are you saying &quot;What?&quot; to me
:'''Crowd''': WHAT?!
:'''Paul''': Oh, I forgot who you are, so I'll say it slowly for you. ''Brock...Lesnar...is...the...one...in...twenty...one...and...one!''
:Ladies and gentlemen, there are WWE Hall of Famer''s'', there are Legend''s'', and there are WWE Superstar''s'', and the key to that is that they're all ''plural''. They're all lumped together. And then there's only ''one'' that stands head and shoulders above the rest on a platform of his own. There is only ''one'' Beast Incarnate, there's only ''one'' conqueror of the Streak, and there's only ''one'' Brock Lesnar.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Hellwig AKA Ultimate Warrior''': Speak to me, Warriors! As I thought about what I was gonna say this evening, it's been hard for me to find the words. ''[Pulls a face-paint mask out of his pocket and puts it on]'' Well, then, you shut up, Warrior, and let ''me'' do the talking. No WWE talent becomes a legend on their own. Every man's heart one day beats its final beat, his lungs breathe their final breath, and if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others, and makes them bleed deeper and something than larger than life, then his essence, his spirit will be immortalized by the storytellers, by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him and make the running the man did live forever. You, you, you, you, you, you are the legend makers of Ultimate Warrior. In the back, I see many potential legends, some of them with Warrior spirits, and you will do the same for them. You will decide if they live with the passion and intensity. So much so that you will tell your stories and you will make them legends as well. I am Ultimate Warrior, you are the Ultimate Warrior fans, and the spirit of Ultimate Warrior will run forever!

=== June 9 ===
:'''Dean Ambrose''': The Shield was untouchable. We will go down in the history books as one of the greatest groups in sports entertainment ever. We dominated WWE, we beat everybody, including Evolution. But we weren't healthy. We had a cancer inside of us, little did we know. And that's cancer's name... that cancer's name was Seth Rollins.
:History is full of people like you, Seth. Everybody in this building knows somebody like you, Seth. The kind of guy who would stab his brother in the back. Suck up, sell out to The Authority. When I get the opportunity to rearrange your face -- which I will -- your nose isn't going to be here anymore, it's going to be over here by your ear. I say ear because you're only going to have one left. I'm going to rip your dirty stinking hair out by the roots. I'm going to stuff it in your mouth. There'll be plenty of room from where your teeth used to be.
:Seth Rollins... my brother... you are scum. And we are looking forward to what that scum has to say tonight. We want you stand out here in this ring in front of the whole world and lie through your teeth. We want you to stand out here in the middle of this ring in front of the whole world and we want them to hear Triple H's words coming out of your mouth. We're going to listen to every word of it, and then we're going to beat the hell out of you.
:'''Roman Reigns''': Seth, you committed the most unforgivable sin. You're the scum of the earth! There's things you don't do in life: You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't piss in the wind, and you don't ever stab your brothers in the back. But you're only part of the problem. The other parts are Randy Orton and Triple H. Randy Orton, he runs around here and he thinks everybody owes him something. He thinks he's the face of the company. When I get my hands on you Randy, you're gonna be the ass of this company!
:And when I'm done with you, I'm coming for you Triple H. &quot;The King of Kings&quot; ooooooh.
:'''Dean Ambrose''': Ooooooh.
:'''Roman Reigns''': We're gonna have our own Game Of Thrones. BELIEVE THAT!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Seth, Welcome. It's been a lot of...a lot of talk over the last week about why...
:'''Seth Rollins''': Michael, let me let me stop you before you get started here because I don't...''[crowd booing]'' Look I don't get it. I don't understand what all the controversy you talking about is all about. I mean are we just talking about what I did last week? Is that the whole deal? Because to me, that wasn't a big deal. I was just doing what was best for business. What was best for MY business. The Shield Michael. The greatest faction in the history of WWE, created by me. You don't think I have the right to destroy my own creation? It takes an architect, a mastermind to put together a faction like the Shield. Do you think Dean Ambrose is in anyway responsible for that? Dean Ambrose is a lunatic. Given a week to his own devices, he's face down in a ditch. And Roman Reigns...the golden boy...you'll never see anger and fury in a man like you've seen in Roman Reigns. But without someone to harness that, to control it, he's nothing. He's worthless. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are nothing without me. They owe me every ounce of success they have ever achieved!
:'''Michael Cole''': Seth, many people will argue that the Shield was about three individuals who came together to form an awesome team, not just about one man.
:'''Seth Rollins''': You know, I guess we'll find out later tonight when the uh...the pathetic remnants of the Shield have their last hurrah out here against the Wyatt Family. But let me ask you a question Michael. Why is this such a surprise? I took the Shield to the very top, as high as we can go, we beat everybody alright. We conquered the world Michael. At Payback, we beat Evolution in a clean sweep. And from every experience in life, you should learn something. You know what I have learned from Evolution? I learned that to be success in this business, you have to evolve. You have to adapt!
:'''Crowd''':  ''[chanting]'' YOU SOLD OUT!
:'''Seth Rollins''': No no no no no I bought in. I bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. And another thing, another thing ''[points to Michael Cole]'' you won't admit, ''[points to crowd]'' that none of you will admit. It took a lot of guts to do what I did last week. And everybody is fixated on the fact that I stabbed my &quot;brothers&quot; in the back. That I betrayed my &quot;brothers&quot;. And maybe to Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose, we were brothers. But to me, they were just business partners. And I severed a business relationship. You know, for two years every night, I came out here and I put my fist out and I say Believe In The Shield. And every night, what I meant is what I'm going to tell you right now, is that you, and everybody else have better start believing in Seth Rollins!
:So that's it, Michael. That's all you wanted to hear right? Oh oh wait wait wait I heard earlier tonight, I was watching Dean Ambrose say that he was gonna let me say my piece and then they were gonna come out here and kick the hell out of me. Well...''[throws the chair out the ring]'' I said my piece!

=== July 7 ===

:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the 1 in 21-1. I serve as the advocate for ''Brock Lesnar,'' who conquered the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania. I am also pleased and proud to represent...
:'''Cesaro''': Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, you can't talk to those people in English. They're French Canadians. But they don't speak French. No, they speak Quebecois. The French can't stand them, neither can the rest of Canada, ''et tout le monde sait que les Québécois sont pourris.''

=== July 21 ===

:''[After Kofi Kingston and Big E Langston lose their match]''
:'''Xavier Woods''': Everybody listen. I need you to pay attention to what I am about to say. This is exactly what I have been talking about. You cannot move ahead by shaking hands, kissing babies, singing and dancing like a puppet! You cannot move ahead by always doing what you're told. Now...this is our time, this is our place. It is time for us to find focus. It is up to us to find order. Together, it is our time to find purpose. Because we do not ask any longer. Now...we take.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': ''[to Triple H]'' Mr. COO, you...you know how much respect I have for you, sir. I...I hate to point out the obvious, but &quot;Plan A&quot; just...just isn't working with Randy Orton, not while Roman Reigns is around. And...I mean, &quot;Plan B,&quot; I like &quot;Plan B,&quot; Seth Rollins is great, but every time Seth Rollins is gonna try to cash in that Money in the Bank briefcase, Dean Ambrose is going to stop him. Which is why, Triple H, I think the Authority has the uncomfortable decision right now to agree with me that you need to make the dangerous choice of implementing &quot;Plan C.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and my client, ''BROCK LESNAR'' conquered the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania! Which is why, at this moment, my client hereby officially announces his intention to conquer John Cena and take the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at SummerSlam. Now, my client officially acknowledges this divide that permeates through the WWE Universe. There are those who wear their green t-shirts and their pump-up sneakers, and they scream with great passion their love and adulation for their hero by saying at the top of their lungs, &quot;let's go, Cena!&quot; And there are those who offer the contrarian opinion, and whose mommies don't tuck them into bed at night, and they will say with great fervor and passion, &quot;Cena sucks!&quot;
:Now, it doesn't matter to my client which side of the fence you want to ride on. This malpracticing &quot;Doctor of Thuganomics&quot; is in for the beating of a lifetime. I don't just stand out here and spew hype and hyperbole; I exploit historical facts to shove my points down your throats. To wit: I offer you what happened the last time my client, Brock Lesnar, zeroed in on someone and decided to give them a beating.
:''[Shows footage of Brock Lesnar defeating the Undertaker at WrestleMania]''
:You know, for years, everybody said, &quot;I want to be the one to beat the Undertaker and snap the Streak.&quot; But that wasn't good enough for Brock Lesnar. At WrestleMania, my client, Brock Lesnar, gave such a violent beating to the Undertaker that Vince McMahon had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital with the Undertaker because even our heartless chairman was concerned for a dead man's well being and life.
:Oh, John Cena? That same beating awaits you. And please don't confuse my client with some stereotypical villain that comes out here and say, &quot;John, you can escape this beating by giving up your title and laying it down at my feet.&quot; Brock Lesnar makes you no such offer. John Cena, you can't escape this beating.
:At SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will take John Cena down! Brock Lesnar will punch John Cena's face in! John Cena, you are going to be hurt by Brock Lesnar! Brock Lesnar is going to injure John Cena! Brock Lesnar is going to ''mangle'' John Cena! And then, and ''only'' then, Brock Lesnar is going to F-5 John Cena and strip John Cena of the dignity of being the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, the same way Brock Lesnar stripped the Undertaker of his dignity and exposed the Streak as just being a myth; the same myth that Brock Lesnar hears every week on television when John Cena is referred to as being the greatest WWE champion of all time. Fifteen World Titles in 10 years. Now that sounds like something worth conquering.
:I pledge allegiance to the greatness of the conquerer who stands before me, and to his dominance, for which I stand, one Cenation, under John, now divisible, with no more hustle, loyalty, or respect for all!
:Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the 1 in 21-1, and at SummerSlam, my client, Brock Lesnar, will beat John Cena and become the WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world!

=== August 11 ===

:'''Paul''': He's a 15-time Champ, and he likes to have his fun.
:But not at your expense, so let us school you, son.
:No, we're not from West Newbury; no we can't hip hop like you.
:My client is The Conqueror, I'm just Brock's advocating Jew.
:You see, my name is Paul Heyman, and my client is The Beast,
:And on the 17th of August, on your title, he shall feast.
:You don't like Paul Heyman guys, you think their attitude's too smug.
:You gonna beat Brock's ass, 'cause you the doctor of the thugs?
:I mean, you've beaten all the best, but now Lesnar's on your plate.
:You say your time is now. Brock says your calendar's out-of-date.
:So here's some free advice, with SummerSlam drawing near,
:Get it out your damn system when you say, &quot;the champ is here.&quot;
:Because we're six days away from the West Coast's biggest arena
:Where my client, Brock Lesnar, will conquer John Cena.

=== August 18 ===

:'''Paul''': Um...ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the one behind the one who conquered the one who thought he was the one to beat the 1 in 21-1. Last night at SummerSlam, my client didn't just beat, didn't just victimize; my client conquered the titleholder, which affords me, Paul Heyman, the opportunity to proclaim myself the advocate for the brand new, ''reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, Brock Lesnar!''
:Now let's get down to business, shall we? My client has authorized me to let you know a secret that I don't even think the Authority wants revealed tonight, which is, ladies and gentlemen, John Cena...is not here this evening. Aw, don't get me wrong. John Cena would be here if John Cena could be here, but John Cena can't be here because John Cena can't physically appear, and that's all thanks to my client, ''Brock Lesnar!''
:'''Brock''': I love it when you say that. Say that again please.
:'''Paul''': ''Brock Lesnar!'' Now, I have been in this industry in one form or another since I was 14 years old, and I have never in my life seen a superstar take an ass-kicking the likes that John Cena took last night at the hands of my client, Brock Lesnar. Now, we're not just talking ''any'' superstar; we're talking a ''top'' superstar. And not just ''any'' top superstar; we're talking ''the'' top superstar. The top superstar of a generation. And just to put this into historical perspective for you, Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson's run on top, legendary. How long? Three years? Three and a half years, maybe? Stone Cold Steve Austin's run on top. How long? Four years? Four and a half years? There's been one constant in the WWE Title picture, there's been one WrestleMania main event they're guaranteeing almost every year, there's been one ''man'' in WWE for the past ten years, and that man has been John Cena! And you have to give credit where credit's due. Any man in that unprecedented position, after thirty seconds last night, would've just turned the title over to Brock Lesnar; would've given up, would've tapped out, would've survived to fight another day. But no, not John Cena.
:And as I stood right here ''[pointing to the ringside floor]'', with the best seat in the house, and I witnessed the suffering on John Cena's face, it was at that moment, Brock, that I truly understood. 'Cause we'd never gotten it before, but I got it last night. I could never understand why so many people who love John Cena, love him with such a passion. My own children are John Cena fans, which really pisses me off to begin with, but now I get it! Now I understand why! 'Cause John Cena was taking this heinous, vicious, violent beating, and he kept coming back for more, and coming back for more, and coming back for more, and coming back for more, 'cause when John Cena says, &quot;never give up,&quot; John Cena means never give up. John Cena, you earned my respect and my admiration to the point where, if I had time on my hands, I would love to make you a Paul Heyman guy. Yeah. Hey, you can knock me all you want, I'll tell you to the straight. If they wrote ''The History of WWE'' right before Brock Lesnar pinned John Cena last night, John Cena would go down as the single greatest fighting champion in WWE history.
:Unfortunately, my client, Brock Lesnar, does not share these opinions! In Brock Lesnar's universe, John Cena walked into this ring a hero, and left a martyr. And in Brock Lesnar's universe, the credo that martyrdom equals street cred does not apply. And even if it did apply, he who dies with the most street cred wins? ''[Imitates buzzer]'' Wrong answer. In Brock Lesnar's universe, he who dies with the most street cred ''still dies!'' Dies at the hands of the Conqueror, Brock Lesnar, just like the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like the Undertaker's career ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like this whole stupid concept of hustle, loyalty, and respect ''died'' at the hands of Brock Lesnar! Just like the Cenation ''died'' and was conquered by Brock Lesnar!
:And here's the problem. The same fate awaits any man that walks into the Beast's lair and tried to take away from Brock Lesnar the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. And it's almost an unfair fight to begin with, because anybody that steps into this ring is just a challenger. Just a man. My client is not a man. My client is the Beast, and this beast will lay wreckage to any man that tries to take that title away from him, which means the same beating awaits, which makes every single title defense by Brock Lesnar not only must-see, but can't-miss.
:Now, if you're too cheap or too stupid or too blind or too ignorant to spend $9.99 on the WWE Network, let me tell you what happened last night. My client, Brock Lesnar, imposed his will on John Cena, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call basic Brockanomics. Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat! Suplex, repeat!
:Brock Lesnar lives by the motto, Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat! Eat, sleep, F-5, repeat! Eat, sleep, victimize, repeat! Eat, sleep, beat, repeat. Eat...sleep...conquer...''[waves hand in front of face like...]'' John Cena.

=== October 20 ===

:''[Dean Ambrose watches ''See No Evil 2'' and slowly eats popcorn when he gets startled by John Cena]''
:'''John Cena''': What are you doing?
:'''Dean''': Doing some research for our match tonight. ''See No Evil 2'' starring Kane; this guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.
:'''John Cena''': This is...this is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy, movie night?
:'''Dean''': See, me and you are kinda like a comic book movie. It's like Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice, and the American way, nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags. I've been known to wear a cape. But really, we just don't mix.
:'''John Cena''': What are you even... we have a match tonight, and the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before Hell in a Cell. How are we gonna handle it?
:'''Dean''': Relax. This might surprise you, but even though I am undefeated in contract-on-a-pole matches, handicapped street fights are my specialty, so here's how we're going to handle it. We're gonna throw punches at anything that moves, and if they insist on taking us down, we're gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That's how we ''handle'' it.
:'''John Cena''': I like it. I like it. The whole Batman thing...does not fit you. You...are much more like the Joker.
:'''Dean''': ''[after John leaves]'' [[The Dark Knight|Why so serious?]]

=== December 8 ===
:'''AJ Lee''': ''[accepting the Diva of the Year Slammy]'' Okay, so, three years ago, I promised all of you I would redefine the term &quot;diva,&quot; and I am very proud to say that I sure have done that. You can be a nerd, you can be a tomboy, and you can still be the longest-reigning Divas Champion of all time. So I hope that means that next year, this award is won by [[w:Bayley (wrestler)|Bayley]] or [[w:Sasha Banks|Sasha]] or [[w:Charlotte Flair|Charlotte]] or [[w:Emma (wrestler)|Emma]] or [[w:Paige (wrestler)|Paige]]. Any of those girls can be next in line for the throne, but I'm not done being queen. And Sunday, I will take back what is mine, and I will become the four-time Divas Champion.

== 2015 ==

=== March 9 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and all day long they've been trying to get me to preview this video but ''instead'' I decided to come out here live and watch this video along with every single one of you.
:''[the video is an interview bewteen Roman Reigns and Byron Saxton, with footage of his career through NXT and WWE, as well as previous facings with Heyman.]''
:'''Paul Heyman''': Mhm, okay. So Roman Reigns makes some interesting points to which, ladies and gentlemen, I shall retort &quot;Here comes the pain&quot;. The reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World: ''BROCK LESNAR!''
:''[Lesnar's music hits as he comes down to the ring. The announcers discuss about Reigns' chances to beat Lesnar.]''
:'''Paul Heyman''': Now, I understand what a fan-pleasing video that was, but to my client, that was nothing short of sheer propaganda. If it came out of the tail end of a bull, it wouldn't smell any different. ''[mocking] &quot;Oh, Roman Reigns was the stand-out in NXT who went on to become the badass of The Shield, where he was also a stand-out, and then he defeated 29 other WWE Superstars at the Royal Rumble to become the #1 Contender, and even defended his right to main-event WrestleMania when he beat Daniel Bryan at WWE Fastlane. Yaaaay!&quot;''
:I've known that family since I was 14 years old, and I already stooged this off to my client. Let me tell you the truth about Roman Reigns because the WWE Universe likes to live vicariously through its own fantasies: that propaganda was pure fantasy. The truth is, when Roman Reigns was 9 years old, his father, who's one generation removed from cannibals, used to take Roman and his bunch of savage cousins down to all the bars in Pensacola where the local football players would hang out, and they would point out the football players and say: &quot;One man left standing, don't bother coming home for dinner tonight.&quot; Roman Reigns' uncle would them take him down to the beach in Pensacola with his other criminal cousins and point out all the muscleheads and say, &quot;One musclehead left standing, don't bother coming home tonight. Take him out with a punch. Take him out with a tackle.&quot; Two moves that you see him do today.
:And the same applies at WrestleMania: &quot;Roman Reigns, go to WrestleMania and beat Brock Lesnar for that title, or don't bother calling yourself a member of this family.&quot; It's a powerful, profound motivation for any young man—let alone the baddest member of that family—except for one problem: Roman Reigns, you will not beat Brock Lesnar for that title at WrestleMania. Even more so, Roman Reigns, I promise you this: Brock Lesnar will not lose the title to you at WrestleMania.
:And just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean the whole world's not against us. I know what goes on behind the scenes. So if The Authority has it in their head that somehow get that title away from Brock Lesnar and place it on Roman Reigns, so Seth Rollins can cash-in Money In The Bank on Roman Reigns—'cause he ain't man enough to cash it in on Brock Lesnar—and that's what they're thinking, because Seth Rollins will be cheaper as champion than Brock Lesnar, let me spell this one out for you: If anybody has it in their heads to pull a Montreal Screwjob on Brock Lesnar for the title at WrestleMania, my client assures me any single person involved in a Montreal scenario will not leave that stadium alive!
:You see, while Roman Reigns is coming in to WrestleMania with the mindset that he wants to stay a member of his family, even if he has to bite Brock Lesnar's face off, Brock Lesnar can get his face stitched up, but the beating, the sheer beating that Brock Lesnar's going to give Roman Reigns at WrestleMania, it's gonna make every single one of you respect Roman Reigns, because when they're wheeling Roman Reigns down the street after the beating that he takes from Brock Lesnar, each and everyone of you is going to say: &quot;Yo, that's one badass Samoan. He took an ass-kicking like nobody else I've ever seen.&quot; When Roman Reigns is too— ''[Heyman's microphone is shut off. He walks around in the ring and begins clapping at the microphone.]''
:You know what I really like the most about this? I like how [[w:Wizard of Oz (character)|Oz]] behind the curtain or in the production truck likes to shut off my microphone, instead of coming down to the ring and take it out of my hand... Instead of someone in the position of authority around here comes down to the ring and takes that title away from Brock Lesnar. And if you would like to take the title away from Brock Lesnar: Go ahead! Grab a leg! Take your best shot! Because if Brock Lesnar wants to spend his summer unifying the WWE and the UFC Title, ''THAT'S WHAT HE'S GONNA DO!'' ''[The mic cuts off again]'' Hey, censor this one: If Brock Lesnar decides to go to Las Vegas and smack around Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao—''[talking to Lesnar]'' by the way, do you realize that if you combine Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao, together they're still ten pound shy of you?—that's what Brock Lesnar is going to do! Here's a message for everyone to keeps on shutting off my damn microphone: This title no longer belongs to WWE! This title belongs to Brock Lesnar! It's his! ''AND HE'S NOT GIVING IT BACK!'' 
:In 2002, they took a rookie and they put him in the ring with The Rock, 'cause they thought The Rock would make headlines beating a former NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion, and that rookie set Dwayne Johnson off to Hollywood. In 2014, they took this accomplished athlete, the first man to hold the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Championship, the UFC Title and the WWE Title, and they fed him to the unbeatable Undertaker at WrestleMania, thinking he be the 0 in 22-0, and he didn't just kill the streak: he damn nearly killed The Undertaker, to where now Bray Wyatt has to resurrect him. At SummerSlam, one beast suplexed John Cena out of the main event in WrestleMania. So here's my question, ladies and gentlemen, 'cause it's all the same answer. Who did that to The Rock? Who did that to The Undertaker? Who did that to John Cena? And what the hell do you think he's going to do to Roman Reigns at WrestleMania? The answer to these questions is this: Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar: ''The reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World'', The Beast, The Conqueror, and the one that's gonna leave Roman Reigns flat on his back at WrestleMania... ''BROCK LESNAR!''

=== March 30 ===

:'''Paul''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I am the advocate for the most non-PG ass-kicker of the PG era, ''BROCK LESNAR!'' So let's talk about it, let's get it out of the way. What happened last night at WrestleMania? My client, as we told you he would do, laid a beating on a Samoan badass the likes of which no one had ever seen before at WrestleMania. My client took his hands, put them on the #1 challenger for the World Title and did nothing but suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex, suplex him right through the canvas! ''[The crowd chants, &quot;Suplex City!&quot; which draws a laugh from Brock]'' Or, as my client Brock Lesnar said, &quot;Suplex City, bitch!&quot;
:So now, Brock Lesnar is bitch-slapping Roman Reigns all over the ring, and what happens? What happens? This Samoan, this Samoan whose predecessors were eating human flesh, was sitting there eating the pain and liking the taste and smiling at Brock Lesnar and saying, &quot;I'm gonna bring the same right back to you!&quot; I will not spend my time tonight singing Roman Reigns's [''sic''] praises. I will tell you he can sink or swim on his own from here, but my client ''almost'' respects Roman Reigns. Kid, you still got a ways to go.
:So then, Brock Lesnar got bored. Brock Lesnar was hungry. He wanted to go out for dinner. And Brock Lesnar says, &quot;good night, everybody,&quot; picks Roman Reigns up on his shoulders, F-5!...And here comes slimy, disgusting, little Seth Rollins, who cashes in Money in the Bank, makes it a triple threat, Curb Stomps everyone in sight, and scores a pinfall on the challenger, not the champion, and scurries away the most undeserving WWE Champion of anybody's lifetime. ''[aside to Brock]'' I got this.
:You all know my father was a prominent New York attorney, and I have apprised my client of his legal rights, that I can go to Sacramento, get an immediate injunction at the 7th Circuit Court [''sic''], I can have the decision reversed, Seth Rollins will no longer be the winner, I will tie WWE up in litigation for the next three or four months, have the title held up. Unfortunately for me, my client Brock Lesnar thinks all lawyers are scumbags, and Brock Lesnar will not file an injunction, will not go to the 7th Circuit Court, does not want to tie up WWE in litigation; my client Brock Lesnar wants to invoke his rematch clause! And ladies and gentlemen, I have been authorized to tell you, that rematch will not happen at SummerSlam, will not happen at next year's WrestleMania, will not happen at Extreme Rules, will not happen at Payback! That rematch clause is being invoked right here, right now, tonight!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Seth''': You know, I...I actually just spoke with Stephanie McMahon before I came out here, and I...I'm feeling kinda jet-lagged, to be honest, and...and my foot kinda hurts a little bit from Curb Stomping you and Roman Reigns last night. So...I'm a fighting champion, and I'm going to give you your rematch, just...not tonight.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''(after Lesnar attacks J&amp;J Security, and F5'd Michael Cole, as well as a cameraman)'' Your actions have consequences! You're suspended indefinitely! GET OUT OF MY RING!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''(being interviewed by Renee Young backstage afterwards about Brock Lesnar's actions)'' You know, Brock Lesnar will get his rematch when I say he gets his rematch but, Brock Lesnar, actually, I-I think I need to hit Brock Lesnar where it hurts. I don't think suspending him is enough. Actually, I think I'm gonna have to fine Brock Lesnar. I'm gonna have to fine him for all o-of the damage, all of the property damage, the emotional distress of these  employees, you know. And if Brock Lesnar thinks for just one second that he can go back to MMA as he announced on SportsCenter, he just  signed a contract with WWE. And you know what that means, Renee?  That means I own that son of a bitch. (leaves)

=== July 20 ===

:''[The Undertaker makes his entrance, as he attacked Brock Lesnar last night at Battleground]''
:'''The Undertaker''': I stand here tonight a relentless, remorseless, cold-blooded, vengeful grim reaper. Streaks are made to be broken. That is the painful truth, but Lesnar, you had to continuously, week after week, month after month, remind everyone of your greatest accomplishment. Now, I say, enough! You have taken what once was smoldering ashes, and turned it into a raging inferno. Last night was my true resurrection. You see Lesnar, you can't kill what won't die. Unleashed forces will now set our careers toward new destinies. And I will challenge your mortality. I will conquer what has yet to be conquered. In the end, just like all living things, be it man, or beast, you will rest in peace!

=== September 21 ===

:'''Paige''': Charlotte, she's so nice. This is all so nice. And you know what, you won the Championship yesterday, and this whole celebration is for Charlotte. But let's just think about who really made this possible, and that's me! No, shut up, Becky, shut up. This is patronizing. &quot;Oh, I love you, daddy&quot; and &quot;oh my gosh, I wouldn't be here without you.&quot; Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sound like you just been inducted into the bloody Hall of Fame is what you sound like. Yes, I won the Championship too. You won it, so what? I won it on my first day. I won it twice. And you know what? Here's a little secret, champ to champ: title reigns end. And Nikki's going to get her rematch and she's going to bring her little hippie sister and her little third wheel and they're going to take that back and the Divas division is going to go back right where it was. There is no revolution, Charlotte! You are just a placeholder. No, no, no, Becky back off. You know what? You're never going to be a Divas champion. You know why? Because you're the least relevant of all of us. Let's go to Team BAD. They're all flash, no substance. Then you got Lana and Summer too busy trying to figure out who they want to climb onto next rather than the Divas division. And then you've got Nattie. Nattie, where are you? Do you even work here anymore? I can't see you, Mrs. Hart. And then you've got the Bellas. We all know the ''real'' reason they got to where they are. You all know the real reason. No, I'm not done. Stop trying to act like you are somebody because you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for [[w:Ric Flair|your old man]].

=== November 9 ===

:'''Triple H''': I just want to take a moment to acknowledge a great champion. I want to take a moment to acknowledge The Man, Seth Rollins. See, when Steph and I chose Seth Rollins as the future of the WWE, we had extremely high hopes for what that future would be, and Seth Rollins exceeded all those expectations.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' Thank you, Rollins!
:'''Triple H''': That's right. Thank you, Seth Rollins, for giving back to us the faith that we had in you. Because every obstacle that was put in front of him, every opponent, Seth Rollins made his way through and retained the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. But on his way to becoming one of the greatest WWE Champions of all time, tragedy fell upon Seth Rollins.  In Dublin, Ireland, Seth [[w:Unhappy triad|blew out his knee]]. And while Seth Rollins is still The Man, Seth Rollins, right now, is no longer the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. ''[Mixed cheers and boos from crowd]'' That creates an interesting opportunity. Who is gonna step up? Who is gonna fill that void?
:A few weeks ago, a few weeks ago, we determined a new #1 Contender. A #1 Contender who was going to face Seth Rollins at Survivor Series for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. I would like to bring that man out here right now. Please welcome Roman Reigns!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Triple H''': ''[on the displayed Championship]'' Looks good, doesn't it? See, as of this moment, Seth Rollins is no longer the World Heavyweight Champion, and as you know, as the whole world knows by now, there is a tournament taking place that starts tonight to determine who will be the brand new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And to me, that seems unfair. That seems unfair that Seth Rollins is no longer the World Heavyweight Champion, and it seems unfair that, while you earned the right to be the #1 Contender, it seems unfair to me that you just go back to the bottom of the pile and get thrown into this tournament and have to earn your way back up. It's terribly unfair, and the reality is, it doesn't have to be that way. It could be a lot easier. It could be a ''whole'' lot easier. You see, it could be that you don't have to enter that tournament. All those other guys could step into this ring and do battle just for the right to fight ''you'' at Survivor Series to see who becomes the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That, in my opinion, seems much more fair.
:And before you say anything, I want you to understand one thing, and I've never told you this before. But the reality of it is, back when we made Seth Rollins the future of the WWE, we strongly considered you first, and I mean ''strongly'' considered. All that time when Evolution was fighting the Shield, I was scouting. I'm always scouting, and I was looking at you. You have it all, Roman. The size, the strength, the speed, charisma, athleticism, the aggression, everything. You have everything you could want, except for one thing. Except for one thing, and that is the one thing that Seth Rollins had, was the willingness to do absolutely anything to be The Man. And that is why Seth Rollins has been the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and you have not. How'd it feel? How'd it feel, WrestleMania, after winning the Royal Rumble, after going through all those people, after finally earning that spot, for Seth Rollins to roll in there and take your dream after from you? How'd that feel, Roman? Huh? Sting a little bit? I know how that felt, it sucks. Right? You're damn right, it does. You'll never know. Could you have beaten Brock Lesnar? Maybe. Could you have been the WWE World Heavyweight Champion? You'll never know. Could you have kept this title around your waist? You'll never know because Seth Rollins had a willingness to do absolutely anything, that you did not have, and he walked out of WrestleMania as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
:And now, here you are. Here you are all these months later, and you still have all of that. All of those positives. You have dug and scratched and clawed to earn your way back to this, and you have met with wall after wall after wall. I can make those walls go away.
:It doesn't have to that difficult, Roman, and I'm not asking you to do anything that you haven't already done. You've earned your spot. You've earned your spot. I'm asking you, do you want to be The Man? Because if you want to be The Man, Roman, all you have to do is be ''my'' man.
:'''Roman Reigns''': So you're gonna give me everything I've already earned, and all I have to do is sell out?
:'''Triple H''': &quot;Sell-out.&quot; &quot;Sell-out,&quot; that's an interesting word. You know what &quot;sell-out&quot; is? Sell-out is a word that people that don't succeed created to explain why people did what they could not do. Sell-out is a word they chant because they can never achieve what you can achieve. Don't... Roman, don't let some misguided morals ruin what you could get out of life. Are you kidding me? You think they're not gonna criticize? No matter what you do, if you get this, and I don't care how you get it, criticism comes with the gate, pal. That's the way it works. You win this, you don't wanna get criticized? Then do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. But if you want this, then be a reality man. See the reality of the situation. Understand that this comes with criticism, and you will never be liked by everybody, Roman.
:Understand what I am offering you here. This is everything you've ever wanted. From the time you were a boy, ''[places the belt over Roman's shoulder]'' you wanted to put this on your shoulder, right? You wanted to say, &quot;I'm the man.&quot; You wanted everything that comes with it. The respect, all of it. You don't wanna die, and on your tombstone, it says, &quot;yeah, but everybody liked me.&quot; You want them to build a monument in your honor. Right? I am offering you an opportunity here for you and what is most important in your life, and I know what is most important in your life outside of this. It's your family. It's your family. I'm not talking about setting up your wife and your daughter, I'm talking about setting up your daughter's daughter, Roman. I'm talking about giving you everything you have ever wanted out of life. ''[Takes belt back and places on pedestal]'' All you have to do, all you have to do is be my man.
:'''Roman Reigns''': Everything I have in life, I earned it. Everything that I've done, I did it my way. I've never taken a handout, and nobody can ever take that away from me. But it ain't going down tonight; you can take your offer, and you can shove it.
:'''Triple H''': Roman, thank you. Thank you for reminding me why I didn't choose you in the first place.

=== November 16 ===

:'''Dean Ambrose''': If I win the WWE Championship at Survivor Series, I'm gonna turn this whole place upside-down! We're throwing all the rules out the window! Ain't gonna be no more suits, ain't gonna be no more ties. More action, less talking! I want more pyro, I want breakfast for dinner, we're gonna replace Michael Cole with a fish tank. We're throwing all the rules out the window. This Sunday at Survivor Series, I make the entire WWE the Ambrose Asylum.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[At the contract signing for the WWE Divas Championship match at Survivor Series]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Ladies, this is what the WWE fans are trying to figure out here. I mean, I was with you guys when you were at your NXT tryouts. You guys bonded, and over the last couple of years, you've become the best of friends. But what the WWE Universe can't figure out is where it all went wrong. What happened to the friendship between you two?
:'''Paige''': First of all, this is no ''friendships'', Michael. When you're a true champion, there is no room for emotion ''or'' friendships. So I had to teach Charlotte that the hard way, and I intend to do so again this Sunday when I take back ''my'' Divas Championship.
:''[Paige signs the contract]''
:'''Charlotte''': It must be exhausting being this bitter and angry all the time.
:'''Paige''': How have I been all angry, Charlotte? I don't even look that way.
:'''Charlotte''': What happened to you, Paige? What made you like this? You know, I didn't get into this business to make friends. But when I started at NXT, forget the fact that we came from the same background. I can't even believe I'm about to say this: I wanted to ''be'' like you. I was the naive, sweet Carolina girl; you were the British badass. You know, we didn't grow up like most little girls. We sat at home watching our parents on the television night after night sacrificing their body. They cared about the WWE almost as much as they cared about us. That's why my [[w:Reid Flair|late brother]]...''[starts to tear up]'' When my little brother passed away, you were there for me. I... I am here today because of him, and that's the only reason to fulfill his dream. We were family.
:'''Paige''': You know what, Charlotte? It doesn't matter what I said or what I thought about you, okay? This isn't a sorority house, sweetheart. I have been using you since day one.
:'''Charlotte''': &quot;Using&quot; me? Using me? Well, you must really suck at using me, because that's why I'm the Divas Champion and you're not. But the sad thing is, Paige, it didn't have to be like that. Because it's not about the Title, it's about who's got your back at the end of the day.
:'''Paige''': And where did you learn that, Dr. Phil or ''Seventeen'' magazine? Or...you gonna keep crying, Charlotte?
:'''Charlotte''': [[w:The Hardy Boyz|Team Xtreme]], D-Generation X, the Four Horsemen. Team PCB was going to change the Divas division...until you let your selfish ways get in the way.
:'''Paige''': Oh, okay, okay. First of all, wrong. I threw PCB away because I deserve that championship more than anyone, and especially more than you.
:'''Charlotte''': You're not a champion! You ''never'' were! A champion is a role model. A champion is someone those little girls sitting at home and sitting in that audience want to be like.
:I won't be Champion forever, but when I lose that title, it won't be this Sunday, and it damn sure won't be to someone like you.
:'''Paige''': Wow, Charlotte. You know what? That was quite a speech. I had a tear in my eye. Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. That's confidence. You are so naive, Charlotte, it makes me sick, and it is embarrassing.
:'''Michael Cole''': ''[as Paige is about to leave]'' Oh, wait a moment, Charlotte, the contract.
:'''Paige''': You know what? You know what? I am so sick of this. You think that everyone has your back, and that's a bunch of bull. No one has your back, and no one will have your back this Sunday. Not even Daddy, Mr. Four Horsemen himself. You know what? Where are you, Ric? Where are you? Why don't you come on out here, and drop one of those famous elbowdrops on your jacket. 'Cause you know what? It is ''so'' impressive, you old fart!
:'''Charlotte''': You shut your mouth, or there won't be a Survivor Series! You won't even make it out of this building!
:'''Michael Cole''': Charlotte, Paige has signed the contract...
:'''Charlotte''': I will continue to fight each and every day, just like everyone in my entire family has, just like my dad did, just like my little brother did, and just like I do!
:'''Paige''': You know what, Charlotte? You're wrong, sweetheart, 'cause your little baby brother...he didn't have much fight in ''him'', did he?
:''[Charlotte lunges at Paige, and the two brawl before being separated by referees]''

== 2016 ==

=== February 8 ===

:'''Daniel Bryan''': ''[on the YES! chants from the audience]'' So, just now, I was able to close my eyes and feel that. Like, literally feel it in a way that I've never gotten to feel it before, because when we're here, we always have to keep our eyes open. But just that experience, literally, I'm never gonna forget it.
:But now...but now, it is time for me to address the giant elephant in the room.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' NO!
:'''Daniel''': I know, I know, I didn't want to shave my beard either. But the thing is, is that I wanted to cut my hair, and once I cut my hair, I looked really silly with this giant beard. And this is just my one cheap plug, is that I cut my hair for an organization called [http://www.wigs4kids.org/ Wigs 4 Kids], and one of the nice things about them is that they make wigs for kids who have had cancer, and they don't charge the families at all for that, so...if there is anything worthwhile that comes out of what I'm saying tonight, that's it right there.
:But now to some less fun stuff. So...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' NO!
:'''Daniel''': Trust me, I don't want to be doing this any more than you want me to be doing this. But the truth is, I've been wrestling since I was 18 years old, and within the first five months of my wrestling career, I'd already had three concussions. And for years after that, I would get a concussion here and there, or here, or there, and it gets to point that, when you've been wrestling for 16 years, that adds up to a lot of concussions. And it gets to a point where they tell you that you can't wrestle anymore. ''[Audience boos]'' And for a long time, I fought that because I'd gotten EEGs and brain MRIs and neuropsychological evaluations, and all of them said this, that I was fine and I could come back and I could wrestle, and I trained like I would come back and I would wrestle, and I was ready at a moment's notice if WWE needed me, I wanted to come back and wrestle, because this...I have loved this in a way that I have never loved anything else.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' THANK YOU, DANIEL!
:'''Daniel''': But a week and a half ago, I...I took a test that said maybe my brain isn't as okay as I thought it was, and I have a family to think about, and my wife and I want to start having kids soon.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' YES!
:'''Daniel''': That's what Brie says all the time!
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
:'''Daniel''': So...it is with a heavier heart and the utmost sadness that I officially announcement my retirement. But if there's one thing...so I've gone through all these complex emotions in this last little bit. You know, I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been frustrated, I've been all of that. But today, when I woke up this morning, I felt nothing but gratitude because I have gotten to do what I love for nearly 16 years. Let me tell you a few of the things that I love, okay? Let me tell you a few of the things that I love. Nobody outside of this arena or this city cares about this, but I love the Seahawks. Here's another thing that I love. Here's another thing that I love. Right before my music hits, and it makes that weird sound right before it comes on, and when you guys react every single time, even if I'm tired as hell or I've been hurting, every time, I get this weird little smirk on my face that's not like...but it just...it brings joy to my heart, and I love it every single time.
:Do you know what else that I love? I love hitting the ropes and diving right here. ''[Sticks himself between the top two ropes]'' It has made me feel like Superman, and your guys' reaction to that made me feel like Superman. I love that.
:Here's another thing that I love. Here's another thing that I love. I have wrestled in the parking lot of gas stations, ''and'' I have wrestled in front of 70-plus thousand people in New Orleans. Here's another thing that I love. I have gotten to meet the most amazing people on this planet, such as somebody who looks like a monster, but is the smartest man I know, like Kane. I have gotten to meet a man who has been my mentor and my friend for over 16 years in William Regal. I have gotten to meet children that are stronger than I've ever thought anybody could be, like [[w:Connor Michalek|Connor]].
:Grateful. I am very grateful, and I'm grateful because wrestling doesn't owe me or anybody back there, it doesn't owe us anything. WWE doesn't owe us anything, nobody owes...you guys don't owe us anything. We do this because we love to do this. And then, it was strange because I did this because I love to do this, and then all of a sudden, you guys just got behind me ''[starting to tear up]'' in a way that I never thought was possible, in a way that fans shouldn't necessarily get behind a guy who's 5'8&quot; and 190 pounds. You guys got behind me in a way that made me feel that I was more than just me, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm grateful because, a little over two years ago, in this very arena, you guys hijacked ''Raw''.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' YES!
:'''Daniel''': And they were trying to do a big championship coronation between Randy Orton and John Cena. They were combining the WWE Championship with the World Heavyweight Championship, and they had all the former Champions out here, and this was gonna be the most important match in WWE history, and you guys just wouldn't stop chanting &quot;Daniel Bryan!&quot;
:'''Crowd''': ''[chants]'' DANIEL BRYAN!
:'''Daniel''': But that's not why I'm grateful. My dad was sitting right over there, where the guy with the goat mask with the Daniel Bryan sign is standing right now. And my dad got to see that, his son getting that kind of reaction from all you people. ''[Tearing up]'' And that was the last time my dad ever got to see me wrestle, and you guys made it special for him and for me and for my entire family. I am grateful. I am grateful, because of wrestling, I got to meet the most wonderful woman in the world, who's beautiful, she is smart, and she completes me in a way that I didn't even think was possible, and that's because of wrestling. I am grateful. I am grateful because I get to come out here in front of what I feel is my hometown fans. I get to announce my retirement in front of a bunch of people who love me. Right?
:That special moment that I had with my dad, I get to share this moment with my mom, with my sister, with my family, with my friends. I get to share that with them, I get to share it with you, I get to share it with my wife in the back, I get to share it with all of these wonderful human beings that I have spent the last 15 years of my life with. I am grateful.
:Now, tomorrow morning, I start...I start a new life. A life where I am no longer a wrestler. But that is tomorrow, and that is not tonight! And by damn, I have one more night to feel this energy, and to feel this crowd! So if I could just get one last &quot;YES!&quot; chant, I would really appreciate it!

===May 23===
:''[Ric Flair has put over Charlotte in her WWE Women's Championship title defense against Natalya at Extreme Rules]''
:'''Charlotte Flair''': You know what I remember growing up? I remember Christmases, I remember birthdays... ''[miffed at &quot;What?&quot; chant]'' If I - if you &quot;What? me one more time ''[chant]'', that's fine because Dad you know what I remember Mom saying? ''[pause]'' That Daddy's always with you. You weren't ever there, because I always had to watch you on television, but actually Dad I fully understand why you weren't there because all those years, I couldn't understand why you weren't there, you know Mom had to rub my head because I was crying, but now I get it you know why? Because I'm the WWE Women's Champion. I've never been more powerful! I've never been more confident! Dad, and now I understand, you know what it felt like to be The Man. I'm The Woman! ''[sighs]'' That's why I finally have the courage to say to you, Dad... ''[points away]'' GET OUT OF MY RING! ''[Ric is not moved]'' What, are you hard of hearing? I said, get out! ''[Ric softly asks, Why]'' Do you know what it's like to walk into a room and just say &quot;Hey look, that's Ric Flair's daughter!&quot; No, you know who you are? You're &quot;Charlotte's dad&quot;! ''[sees Flair's emotions change; mocks]'' Oh don't do this, don't do this... ''[for emphasis]'' I don't need you anymore. You're immortal to them. To me, dead. ''[shrugs off Ric appealing to her]'' Get out of my ring, I'm done with this sad story. Get out. Get out - ''[keeps distance]'' Don't take another step near me - actually you know what you can do? You can just watch me on TV, like I did the last 30 years to you. ''[teases Ric's sad face and makes palm shrug as he tries to talk to her]'' Ohh, out you go! Get out of my ring. Don't make me, don't make me do this. I don't want to embarrass you. ''[Ric gets through the ropes and leaves]''

=== June 20 ===

:'''Dean Ambrose''': Oh, boy, last night was a long night in Las Vegas, and I'm not even talking about the stuff I ''don't'' remember. There was an incident with a security guard at the Hard Rock, there was this whole Cleveland Cavaliers celebration party thing. ''[A few boos and cheers from the crowd]'' I don't know, I don't like those guys anyway, don't look at me. They were freakishly tall and it weirded me out, I don't know. I think I had my foot ran over by a cab. Oh, yeah, and this other thing happened where I had to climb a 15-foot ladder and win the Money in the Bank ladder match! I think, at some point in the night, I almost got bitten by a dog. I mean, it was a long night. Oh, yeah, and then, this other thing happened, where I cashed in my Money in the Bank contract on Seth Rollins, and I became the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion!
:You wanna talk about another guy who had a long night, Seth Rollins. He was just the right guy at the right place at the ''wrong time.'' So listen up, kiddos, Uncle Dean-o's gonna give your lesson of the week. So listen up, pay attention. What goes around, comes back around. You know what, let me give you another lesson while I'm out here pontificating and stuff, here's another lesson for you. Hard work pays off! Busting your ass, keeping your nose to the grindstone pays off! And when it pays off, baby, it pays off ''big!''
:So Seth called himself &quot;The Man,&quot; Roman called himself &quot;The Guy.&quot; I don't know, what does that make me? The Dude?
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' DUDE!
:'''Dean''': Oh, I kinda like it. I don't care, you can call me whatever you want, but you call me Champion! I've been chasing this for two years, and this is the reason I kept picking myself off... picking myself up, dusting myself off, patching myself back together; this is why I kept on trucking, this is why I kept on swinging. And as I sit here with this Championship in the middle of this ring live on ''Monday Night Raw'', I can tell you, baby, it was all worth it 'cause we ain't having no hard times anymore!

== 2017 ==

=== March 6 ===

:'''Corey Graves''': I understand why Chicago likes these two. Enzo and Cass remind them of the local baseball teams. Cass is like the Cubs: it may take a hundred years, but he might be a champion. Enzo's more like the White Sox: if he ever becomes a champion, you can be guaranteed there's a scandal involved.

=== April 3 ===

:'''Roman Reigns''': This is my yard now. (people heavily boo loudly)

=== June 19===
:'''Big Cass''': ''(When asked if he attacked Enzo Amore)'' You're damn right I did it! Do you have any idea what it's like teaming up with you, Enzo? You just constantly run your mouth about God knows what every single minute of the day. You even ran your mouth to Conor McGregor. Do you know how many times I've wanted to slap you right upside your head? How many times I wanted to knock you out myself? But I didn't do it because I felt bad for you, Enzo. Because everybody behind that curtain doesn't like you, I felt bad for you, Enzo. Because everybody in the back doesn't like you, I felt bad for you, Enzo. And I put up with your crap. For years, I put up with your crap every single day until finally, I snapped. And I had to admit, it felt damn good when I attacked you from behind. You all right? And I would have snapped your little neck like a twig if I wanted to, but I didn't because I wanted to watch you suffer. For all the years of crap I had to put with in NXT! In Tampa! Here on Monday Night Raw! For all the crap I had to put up with, I wanted to watch you suffer! And when things got a little bit hot and fingers pointed in my direction, I cooled them down because I wanted to see just how smart you were. I wanted to see if you were smart enough to realize what was going on around you or if you are just as dumb as you look and I realized that you are even dumber. You are nothing more than dead weight that's holding me back from reaching my potential in the WWE! You are just dead weight holding me down when I should be rising to the top of the WWE! You're the reason I have never been a champion in WWE! I'm the star here! I'm the future! I'm where the money is! And you, your mouth just writes checks that your ass can't cash. Because Big Cass has always been behind you. Well, not for long because me and you, we are through.
:''(Big Cass attacks Enzo Amore once more with a big boot)''
:'''Big Cass''': And you can't teach ''that''.

=== October 23 ===

:'''Paul Heyman''': You know what's funny? The way you all react to the manner in which I introduce my client, Brock Lesnar, because ''someone'' has a problem with the word &quot;undisputed.&quot; Someone wants to dispute the fact that Brock Lesnar is ''the'' champion in World Wrestling Entertainment. This same someone, who's over on ''SmackDown Live'' has barely survived the title challenge of Randy Orton. This same someone has barely survived the title challenge of Shinsuke Nakamura. This same someone is sitting up at night, plotting and planning, trying to figure out how to barely survive the potential title challenge of AJ Styles. Meanwhile, right over here on the flagship show ''Monday Night Raw'', Brock Lesnar has eaten through the single most stacked heavyweight division in the history of WWE. That fact is undisputed.
:You know what else is undisputed? That we live in the age of trash-talking. Everybody wants to trash-talk, everybody wants to hurl insults, everybody wants to not give props where props are due. Everyone wants to run down their opponent, everybody wants to hurl insults at their opponents' families, everyone wants to be the king of trash-talk, brand their opponents as losers instead of box office attractions.
:You know what else is undisputed? That the king of the trash-talk is the advocate with the mic in his hand right now. And yet, despite the fact that you clamor for me to trash-talk, I don't trash-talk Brock Lesnar's opponents, and I'll tell you why. Because any man deemed worthy of stepping into the ring to ''fight'' Brock Lesnar must be a real man, must have a whole lot of merit going on behind him. I didn't trash-talk Goldberg, I praised Goldberg, and rightfully so. I didn't trash-talk Samoa Joe, I praised Samoa Joe, and rightfully so. I didn't trash-talk Braun Strowman, I praised Braun Strowman, and oh, my God, rightfully so.
:But ''you?'' Jinder Mahal? The make-believe maharaja, with the Singh-Singh-Singh-Singh singalong Brothers standing behind you doing ''my'' shtick of introducing you? Are you kidding me? You're not Brock Lesnar's equal, you're not Brock Lesnar's contemporary, you're not Brock Lesnar's counterpart on ''SmackDown Live'', you're not even a worthy pretender to the throne of being WWE Champion! When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, &quot;Macho Man&quot; Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and, ladies and gentlemen, my client ''Brock Lesnar!'' We don't think of Jinder Mahal, a consolation prize champion offered to ''SmackDown Live'' when Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan realized they got the shaft in the Superstar shake-up.
:And please don't think that my client is waving the flag of ''Monday Night Raw'', marching into Survivor Series to defend the honor of ''Raw'' over ''SmackDown'' in the name of brand supremacy. Ladies and gentlemen, there is no battle for brand supremacy. Any brand that brags Brock Lesnar—say that three times fast—the brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the #1 brand. The brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the supreme brand. The brand that brags Brock Lesnar is the flagship brand with the #1 champion, the place to be in World Wrestling Entertainment. That's undisputed. And because Jinder Mahal disputes that fact, Jinder Mahal, at Survivor Series, you're going to Suplex City.

== 2018 ==

=== October 22 ===

:'''Roman Reigns''': I feel like... I feel like I owe everyone an apology. For months, maybe even a full year, I've come out here and spoke as Roman Reigns, and I said a lot of things, you know. I said that I'd be here every single week, I said I'd be a fightin' champion, I said I was gonna be consistent, and I said I was gonna be a workhorse, but...that's all lies. It's a lie because the reality is, my real name is Joe, and I've been living with leukemia for 11 years. And unfortunately, it's back. And because the leukemia is back, I cannot fulfill my role, I can't be that fightin' champion, and I'm gonna have to relinquish the Universal Championship.
:And I'm not gonna lie, I'll take every prayer you send my way, but I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm not looking for you to feel bad for me, because I have faith. When I was 22 years old, I was diagnosed with this, and very quickly, I was able to put in in remission. But I'm not gonna lie, that was the hardest time of my life. I didn't have a job, I didn't have any money, I didn't have a home, and I had a baby on the way, and football was done with me.
:But you wanna know who gave me a chance? The team that gave me a chance was the WWE. And when I finally made it to the main roster and I was on the road, they put me in front of all of you, the WWE Universe. And to be honest, y'all have made my dreams come true. And it didn't matter if you cheered me, it didn't matter if you booed me. You've always reacted to me, and that is the most important thing, and for that, I have to say thank you so much.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting] THANK YOU, ROMAN!''
:'''Roman''': Thank you. But you all know the deal. You all know how life is. Life is not fair, it's not all peaches and cream. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. And right now, the best thing for me to do is to go home, to focus on my family and my health.
:But I wanna make one thing clear. By no means is this a retirement speech. ''[The audience cheers]'' Because after I'm done whoopin' leukemia's ass once again, I'm coming back home. And when I do, it's not just be about titles and being on top. No, it's about a purpose. I'm coming back because I want to show all of you, the whole world, I wanna show my family, my friends, my children, and my wife that when life throws a curve ball at me, I am the type of man that will stand in that batter's box, I will crowd the plate, I will choke up, and I will swing for the fences every single time! Because I will beat this, and I will be back, so you will see me very, very soon. Once again, thank you so much, God bless you, and I love you. Believe that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Paul Heyman''': Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and tonight, my thoughts and my prayers are with the champion of a man you know as Roman Reigns. It is humbling to me amongst the members of that locker room tonight and to have been in the presence of such courage and such greatness. And when I go home tonight and I have to explain this all to my children, what I want my children to understand about this show, this presentation, this business, this industry that we all love is, what you witnessed tonight, as much as you witnessed that courage, what you witnessed was sacrifice. Because what Roman Reigns did tonight was, he sacrificed his career aspirations because, as he said, he couldn't fulfill the obligations of being the Universal Champion, because to everyone that walks through that locker room, the title deserves the best that any champion has to offer it.
:You, as the WWE Universe, the WWE fanbase, those who take pride in WWE have the right to point to the Universal Champion and say, that's the best, that is everything this presentation, this show, this industry has to offer. That's #1. And until 8:05 PM, Eastern Time tonight, we had the right to brag that the very best, the #1 was the Universal Champion.
:So now, what do we do? Roman Reigns does not want the title to stop because he can no longer defend it. Roman Reigns is the first person to tell you the show must go on, and so it does. At Crown Jewel, Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, and only one can say, &quot;I'm the one that carries on the legacy that Roman Reigns brought to this ring tonight. I'm the one that's worthy of the prestige of being the champion. I'm the one that's worthy of the honor of being the champion. I'm the one that's worthy of ''being'' the champion,&quot; and that sure as hell ain't Braun Strowman! There's only one being in this match at Crown Jewel that's worthy of the honor of being your champion, worthy of the dignity of being your champion, worthy of walking into the Octagon and laying that title down in front of the sports universe and saying, &quot;I am the best WWE has to offer, I'm the Universal Champion, and my name is ''Brock Lesnar!''&quot;
:So Braun Strowman can walk around all that he wants and bill himself as a monster! My client Brock Lesnar doesn't ''bill'' himself as a beast. He's not a man, he ''is'' a beast! And Braun Strowman, you're not in Brock Lesnar's league. You're not in Brock Lesnar's category. You're not in Brock Lesnar's stratosphere. Braun Strowman, you can't compare to Brock Lesnar! You're not even a member of the same species as Brock Lesnar!

== 2019 ==

=== January 29 ===

:'''Becky Lynch''': Look at this. The Man is back on ''Raw''. Ronnie, I told you I'd find a way back to you again. Now, for about a year now, I've been hearing about this &quot;baddest woman on the planet,&quot; but the last time I came to your show, I dropped you right...''[points down to the left]'' there. And even after that, you never came looking for me to prove that you're the baddest. So, Ronnie, I've come looking for you to prove you're not.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' BECKY!
:'''Becky''': And you've heard about this, but last night, I won the Royal Rumble match. And unlike Seth Rollins, I don't need much time to think. I choose you.
:'''Michael Cole''': Oh yeah!
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting]'' YES!
:'''Becky''': And at WrestleMania, I am going to break your mystique, I am going to take your title, and I am gonna kick your ass in front of the whole world.
:'''Audience''': ''[chanting, as Ronda Rousey motions for a mic]'' KICK HER ASS!
:'''Ronda Rousey''': I want the whole world to hear this. First off, how's your leg? Huh? 'Cause unlike you, I want my opponent to be looking me in the eye and primed to fight. I don't just want to beat you, I want to beat the best version of Becky Lynch that has ever existed.
:And let's just be completely honest, shall we? You, me, and everyone else here knows that I can re-break your face faster than you can say, &quot;Nia Jax.&quot; In fact, you, me, and everyone else here knows that I have the ability to kill you with my bare hands without even breaking a sweat, and the only thing stopping me is my decision not to.
:You know what, Becky? I just realized that we are the same age. That means while you were training, I was main-eventing in a sport that didn't even want women in it at all, let alone in the main event. And last year, while you were in the... the kickoff show for WrestleMania, I stole the show in my debut! How long have you been The Man, Becky? Because I've been a household name for a decade.
:You gotta learn something here, honey. Any ring I step into is mine, I own the ground under my feet, and I'm gonna own you at WrestleMania!
:'''Michael''': Oh, yeah! Can WrestleMania happen tomorrow?!
:'''Corey Graves''': Seriously, I am ready to see these two women throw down on the grandest stage of them all! Let me tell you This will be the best match in wrestlemania

=== February 25 ===

:'''Batista''': ''[drags Ric Flair out of his locker room]'' Hey Hunter, do I have your attention now? ''[takes off sunglasses]'' HUH!?

=== April 8 ===

:'''Sami Zayn''': You know, I... I... I really thought coming out here tonight would cure what ails me. All it did was reinforce what I've realized over the past nine months. It genuinely seems like you miss me. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, I honestly did not miss any of this or any one of you. Yeah, so it turns out WWE is a super, like, toxic environment. ''[Sarcastic laugh]'' It's not because of the McMahons, and it ain't because of the other WWE Superstars, it's because of this audience and your ugliness!
:Let me be honest. I live a very meaningful and fulfilled life; I'm quite happy. But your lives seem so empty and so devoid of any kind of meaning that the only joy you get, it's not even from coming out and enjoying the shows as fans. You only get joy and satisfaction out of being critics. ''[Mocking laugh]'' You wanna know why that is, moron? You wanna know why? It's 'cause it's the only thing that gives you any sort of sense of self-importance. You judge everyone and everything except yourselves. You wanna know why that is? It's 'cause none of you have the balls to look inside yourself 'cause you know the ugliness and the cynicism that lives inside of you. You're so bloody delusional, it's hilarious.
:You really think you guys are, like, the voice of reason? You really think you guys are, like, the ''[mocking] voices that should be heard. Hear me roar!'' No. Seemingly overnight, you have become the evil overlords of WWE. Sami Zayn has been about one thing his entire career and his entire life, and that is doing what is right. And now, the right thing to do isn't to come back and ''[fake heroic] save WWE'', and it's not to come over and take over the WWE. The right thing to do is to come out here every single week and hold each and every single one of you accountable because nobody else will. See you in Hell.

=== May 27 ===

:'''Seth Rollins''': Let me explain something to you. See this right here? ''[Points to the WWE Universal Championship]'' This is my life, Lesnar. Yeah, I see that. Shut your mouth. This is my life, this is what I work for every single day, what I sacrifice for every single day, and you come out here and you make a mockery out of it. And not because you walk out here with your stupid little beat box. No. You make a mockery out of it because you are a joke. Yeah. That's not the joke, you're the joke, and I'm not afraid of you. I stomped your head into the mat at WrestleMania, and I can do it again right here, right now.
:Yeah, you used to be the most feared man in combat sports history, and look at you. You're a coward hiding behind Paul Heyman. The shell of what you used to be. You want a chance to prove me wrong, Lesnar? ''[Points to the Money in the Bank briefcase]'' There's your chance. There's your chance, Lesnar. Cash it in! Cash it in! Cash it in! Cash it in!
:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[referring to the Money in the Bank contract]'' [[w:John Cone|Mr. Cone]], page 8, paragraph 27, section B: &quot;the parties mutually agree that the winner of the 2019 Money in the Bank contract, in his sole discretion&quot;—that's Brock Lesnar—&quot;picks the time and the place to challenge for either the WWE or Universal Heavyweight Championship. The aforementioned challenge shall take place at any time, with no notice, to either champion, on or by the expiration of this agreement, one year after 2019 Money in the Bank pay-per-view event. Therefore, before May 19, 2020, said challenger Brock Lesnar...&quot;
:''[Brock cups the mic, stopping Paul's recitation. He looks at the contract.]''
:'''Brock''': I got a year?
:'''Paul''': Yeah!
:'''Brock''': To cash in.
:'''Paul''': A year! ''[Pissed, Brock smacks Paul with the contract]'' Didn't you know?!
:'''Brock''': No, I didn't know!
:'''Paul''': How could you not know?! You have to make a decision!
:'''Brock''': ''[to Seth]'' I got a whole year! And I gotta make a decision now? Seth Rollins, screw...you.

== 2020 ==

=== May 11 ===

:'''Becky Lynch''': Tonight is... is no ordinary night for me. I'm torn between joy and sadness 'cause I'm... I'm at a place in my life where things are about to change, and I needed to do something about it. So I asked the decision makers to raise the stakes for the Money In The Bank ladder match, and they did just that.
:But before I get to that... I walked in through these very doors in 2013, and I didn't know anybody in this country, and I didn't know if I was good enough to be here. ''[She starts to tear up]'' And I didn't know if anybody would care about a loudmouthed Irish woman who loved puns and toast. But somewhere along the line, I... I learned that they did care, and they cared so much that they put me on their shoulders, and they carried me into history, and I will never forget that.
:Through injury and triumph, it was the fans who stood up for me, who had my back, and it was the fans who I grabbed onto when I didn't have anybody else. And that is why it's the fans, it's you at home that deserve to hear this from me first: that I have to go away for awhile.
:''[Asuka's music hits, and she charges to the ring berating Becky in Japanese]''
:'''Becky''': ''[on the Money In The Bank briefcase sitting on a table in the ring]'' It is yours, you're right. Asuka, you have beaten me when nobody else could. You have been the best wrestler in the world for a long time, and this is why I am so glad that this is happening to you. 'Cause the match last night, it wasn't what you thought it was. It wasn't for an opportunity to win the championship. It was for so much more. And I know you haven't been able to unlock this 'cause there's a combination. ''[She opens the briefcase, revealing the Raw Women's Championship]'' The match last night was actually for the Raw Women's Championship. Now, I can't fight anymore, but you can. You are the champion.
:'''Asuka''': I'm the champion?
:'''Becky''': You're the champion.
:'''Asuka''': I'm the champion!
:''[She takes the title and runs excitedly all over the Performance Center, even dancing on the announcers' table, and makes her way back to the ring]''
:'''Becky''': You are the champion, and as happy as you are to be the champion, I might be a little bit happier. So you go and be a warrior 'cause I'm gonna go be a mother.
:'''Asuka''': ''[genuinely surprised]'' &quot;Be a mother&quot;? You're gonna be a mother? ''[She hugs Becky]'' Oh, congratulations! Really?! YEAH!!! BECKY! BECKY! BECKY! BECKY! I'm so happy for you.

== 2022 ==

=== January 3 ===

:'''Brock Lesnar''': Before we get this party started tonight, I'd like to give a big shout-out to my good buddy Roman Reigns. He's probably sitting at home, more than likely, tuned in to ''Monday Night Raw'', tuned in to the ''new'' WWE Heavyweight Champion, the ''real'' champion, ''BROCK LESNAR!!!'' Get well soon, buddy. Now...South Carolina...acknowledge me.
:''[turns to Paul Heyman]'' I would like to acknowledge my advocate for advocating my free agency, for advocating all the strings you pulled Saturday to make...to help make me the WWE Champion. Paul, thank you.
:'''Paul Heyman''': If you think it's interesting out here, you should see the things that go on behind the scenes in WWE, like when I negotiated for Brock Lesnar to be a free agent—allegedly did that in advance. And then Saturday at Day 1, when Brock Lesnar showed up looking to win a title from a champion, and one champion simply could not make it, but the other champion... the other champion was in a Fatal 4-Way. And what... what's better than a Fatal 4-Way, than a Fatal 5-Way featuring Brock Lesnar! So all the behind-the-scenes machination, and the strings were pulled, and Brock Lesnar gets to enter the Fatal 5-Way.
:And now, what does Brock Lesnar do as ''your'' WWE Heavyweight Champion? Well, he concentrates not only on reigning, but defending. So at the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar will defend the championship against the winner of the originally scheduled Fatal 4-Way, which takes place tonight right here in this very ring. Let's run down the challengers, shall we.
:First, there's Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens, and you have to lump them in together because they are a team. They're a team, and in a match where every man is for himself, these two figured out to be jackals, to be hyenas, to go after the lions of the jungle, because then if they win it together, they have to figure it out. It's up to WWE, and screw management as far as they are concerned. And it's a smart thing for someone who's pretty damn dumb like Seth Rollins. 'Cause Seth Rollins likes to tell everybody that he's a visionary, and he's too stupid to realize that he's not a visionary, 'cause if he had a vision for the future, he'd realize that [[w:Becky Lynch|his wife]] is going to leave him if he doesn't beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title...and he can't! So who's she gonna leave him for? Well, I don't know, but it sure as hell won't be Kevin Owens 'cause Kevin Owens can't beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title either. Maybe the two of them should ask to be traded to ''SmackDown'' 'cause I understand there's a certain &quot;tribal chief&quot; who's a little vulnerable without his special counsel nowadays.
:Oh, don't go &quot;ooh!&quot; It's a historical fact. Want me to prove it to you? One week without me as special counsel, Roman Reigns already has COVID! Yeah, you can get over the Rona, but karma can be really bitchy!
:Speaking of bitchy, let's talk about MVP. Actually, let's ''not'' talk about MVP, since nobody else does anyway. Let's talk, however, about Bobby Lashley. There's a worthy challenger. Brock Lesnar has never met Bobby Lashley, there's a historical fact. Brock Lesnar never ran into Bobby Lashley in the back, they never shook hands, they never say hello to each other. It's like the two were avoiding each other, which I know is not the case 'cause neither one avoids anything or anybody in life. The first time Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar met, Bobby Lashley speared Brock Lesnar through that wall. The second time Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley met, in the very same match 48 hours ago, Brock Lesnar hit an F-5 on everybody in the match with the exception of Bobby Lashley, who speared Brock Lesnar and damn near pinned him. The third time Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar met, in the same match 48 hours ago, Bobby Lashley put Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. And I've said this to Brock Lesnar's face, it didn't look like Brock Lesnar was going to get out. This is all a testament to how damn good Bobby Lashley is. Except, on all three of these occasions, Bobby Lashley was hitting Brock Lesnar from a blind side or behind. So if Bobby Lashley wins tonight, and he faces Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble, he's gonna have to face Brock Lesnar face-to-face, and that is a whole different story. The story between jackin' someone from behind, and just going down in history as the Almighty Brock Lesnar Wannabe.
:There's one more man in the match tonight. He's the odds-on favorite, he's the former champion, and it's Big E. We have nothing bad to say... ''[off a fan's cheer]'' yeah, he deserves your applause. ''That'' is a great champion. Big E did WWE justice. Big E is a credit to World Wrestling Entertainment, to the company, to the audience, to the WWE Universe and the viewers at home, to the people live here tonight, to the lineage of the WWE Title! Big E is all that and more, and he would still be WWE Champion if he didn't have to step into the ring with Brock Lesnar. We have nothing but respect and admiration for Big E. So if Big E wins tonight and he gets the rematch at the Royal Rumble, sir, it will be an absolute honor to witness that match. You're gonna lose, which is no shame, but it would still be an honor to watch you lose to the greatest WWE Champion of all time, the winner of the Fatal 4-Way-- the winner of the Fatal 5-Way, excuse me, and your new REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, BROCK LESNAR!!!

=== April 4 ===

:'''Cody Rhodes''': So, what do you guys want to talk about? It has been 47 days since the abrupt news that I was a free agent. Amongst that, I chose to remain silent, and I heard stories, defamatory whispers, theories that surmised to be nonsense. Everyone thinks the decision to return to WWE was difficult. It was not. It was simple, really. The star that left them in the dust. The man standing here now, having signed a multi-year agreement with World Wrestling Entertainment. And if there was...
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YOU DESERVE IT!
:'''Cody''': If there was a glimmer of doubt, a shred of trepidation, the moment I rose up in front of 70-something thousand fans, the moment I made the walk at a WrestleMania and defeated one of the best superstar wrestlers in any era, that being Seth Rollins, that doubt was eradicated. I’m an avid reader, and I stumbled across this quote. It said, [[Jean de La Fontaine|&quot;a man often finds his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it.&quot;]] So, if you’ll humor me, let’s all take a look at the Tron, if you will.
:''[On the TitanTron is a picture of Dusty Rhodes holding high the WWWF Championship. The crowd chants &quot;DUSTY!&quot;]''
:'''Cody''': Right there is my father, &quot;The American Dream&quot; Dusty Rhodes. It’s so simple to say, that’s my father, but in reality, yeah, he's a legend. Yeah, he's the son of a plumber, he's a common man. He’s all those things. To me, he was my hero. This photo was taken in 1977, at Madison Square Garden. That very photo right there, he is holding the championship belt that eventually Hulk Hogan would get his hands on, the Undertaker would get his hands on, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. Oh, and Triple H, too. And many other greats. I'm gonna tell you a quick story which made this all very simple to me. This photo, this very photo, was on the mantle in my parents' bedroom until my dad's last day. And as I got hip to the industry, I worked up a little courage, and I remember I asked him, and I worded it very poorly. I said, &quot;I didn’t know that you were a champion like Hulk Hogan.&quot; And he looked at me with the same eyes that Liberty has, and he said, very stern and very patiently, he explained to me the champion's advantage. He said that he had won the match, but because it was by countout, he did not take home the championship belt.
:So, I'm 8 years old. What’s a boy to do? Right then and there, at 8 years old, I knew not what I wanted to do, what I ''needed'' to do. I was going to win this championship belt right here! I was going to place it, I was going to bestow it into the hands of The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes and tell him, &quot;nobody can take it away from you now.&quot; And there are many here tonight who have followed my journey, but for those who are new to it, unfortunately, that dream died. It died right in front of me. That opportunity passed. That opportunity passed, or did it? Yes, I cannot physically put that title belt into my father's hands. I cannot bestow it upon The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, but I certainly can put it around the waist of The American Nightmare.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chant]'' YOU CAN DO IT!
:'''Cody''': With that in mind, the silence is broken, my intentions are clear. I've made them clear to all of you here. I stand before you, ready, finally ready. And I'm going to do it. I'm going to give the distinction that my family has long since been denied, and I'm going to do it for you, I'm going to do it for me, I'm going to do it for my family, and I am going to do it for The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Roman Reigns''': Wise Man, why don't you go ahead and explain the Bloodline's success.
:'''Paul Heyman''': The single longest-reigning tag team champions in the history of ''SmackDown!'', the Usos! The largest box office receipts in the history of SummerSlam; who was in the main event? Roman Reigns! The largest box office receipts in the history of Survivor Series; who was in the main event? Roman Reigns! The first billion-dollar-grossing year in the history of sports entertainment; who was on top as the main star all 365 days of that year?! ''[The crowd starts answering]'' Romain Reigns! The single biggest, largest-grossing box office in the history of the Royal Rumble; who was on top? Roman Reigns. The largest crowds in the history of WrestleMania Weekend, 58% increase on Peacock from last year, and the largest-grossing commerce facilitator in the history of WrestleMania; who was on top? ''[with the crowd]'' Roman Reigns!
:Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the single biggest star in sports entertainment, undisputed Roman Reigns.
:'''Roman''': Wise Man always has this saying, it's, &quot;what's good for Roman Reigns, is good for WWE.&quot; And it's no secret. With me at the head of the table, the billion dollar deals are coming ''easy.'' And that's because I'm the last needle mover. And I'm the last needle mover because I am constantly operating at God Mode. But you see, your Tribal Chief is so much more than all that. I'm a man of my word. I called my shot, and I delivered! I said I was gonna smash Brock Lesnar, and what did I do? Smashed him!
:But you see, that's the past now. Other men, they'd hang their hat on this weekend, but that's not who I am, because we're never content. I'm a progressive Tribal Chief, and I'm constantly moving forward. So this Friday on ''SmackDown'', we're gonna let y'all know what the next step is. But until then, Dallas, Texas...acknowledge me!

==External links==
{{wikipedia|WWE Raw}}

[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:USA shows]]
[[Category:WWE]]
[[Category:American sports TV shows]]
[[Category:Paramount Network shows]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Winnie the Pooh (2011 film)</title>
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      <text bytes="6985" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Winnie the Pooh (2011 film)|Winnie the Pooh]]''''' is a 2011 American [[w:animation|animated]] [[w:musical film|musical]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] in which while searching for honey, Pooh and his friends embark on an adventure to find Eeyore's missing tail and rescue Christopher Robin from an unknown monster called The Backson. The film is a reboot of [[w:Winnie the Pooh (Disney)|Disney's ''Winnie the Pooh'']] franchise and is the fifth theatrical ''Winnie the Pooh'' film released. 
:''Directed by [[w:Stephen J. Anderson|Stephen Anderson]] and Don Hall. Written by [[A. A. Milne]] and [[w:Burny Mattinson|Burny Mattinson]].''
&lt;center&gt;'''Oh Pooh.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]&lt;/center&gt;

== Tigger ==
* ''[singing his song &quot;The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers&quot;]'' ''Oh, I'm bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy!&lt;br&gt;Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!&lt;br&gt;But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is that I'm the only one&lt;br&gt;I'm the only one!&lt;br&gt;Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!''
* This is how you're going to get the backson. 
* Hey, Piglet, buddy, it's me, Tigger! Do you remember me?!

== Dialogue ==
:''[from trailer]''
:'''Tigger''': Bluga-dee-bloo!
:''[Tigger pounces on top of Pooh]''
:'''Pooh''': A simple hello would do, thank you very much.
:'''Tigger''': It's a dangerous path I bounce, but I bounce it alone. Because the Hundred Acre Wood needs a hero, Pooh Bear, and I'm the only one.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Owl''': Yes, well, the thing to do is as follows: First, issue a reward...
:'''Pooh''': Gesundheit.
:'''Owl''': I beg your pardon?
:'''Pooh''': Well, you sneezed just as you were going to tell me what the first thing to do was.
:'''Owl''': I didn't sneeze.
:'''Eeyore''': Oh, you did, Owl.
:'''Owl''': No, I didn't! You can't sneeze without knowing it!
:'''Pooh''': Well, you can't know it without something haven't been sneezed.
:'''Owl''': As I was saying, first: issue a reward...
:'''Pooh''': ''[to Eeyore]'' He's doing it again. ''[to Owl]'' You must be catching a cold.
:'''Eeyore''': ''[gloomily]'' I'll probably catch it, too.
:'''Owl''': ''[frustrated]'' No, no, no! I'm not catching a cold! The word is ISSUE, not AH-CHOO! And 'ah-choo' isn't even a word! It's just some sort of sneezy sound, like 'Ah-choo!'
:'''Pooh''': Perhaps you should lie down, Owl.
:'''Owl''': Oh! ''[hits himself on the forehead and falls over backwards]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pooh''': Perhaps I could borrow some honey.
:''[Pooh's stomach growls]''
:'''Pooh''': Just a taste. A small lick, I should think.
:'''Christopher Robin''': Silly old bear.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pooh, Rabbit, Owl, Eeyore, Kanga and Roo are trapped in a hole and Piglet gets a rope - only to cut it up into six pieces]'' 
:'''Piglet''': And six! There! Now we can ALL get out! 
:'''Pooh''': How very thoughtful you are, Piglet.
:'''Rabbit''': ''[loses patience]'' Good grief! Tie them together, Piglet! Can you tie a knot?
:'''Piglet''': I cannot.
:'''Rabbit''': Ah, so you CAN knot.
:'''Piglet''': No. I cannot knot.
:'''Rabbit''': ''[in disbelief]'' Not knot?
:'''Pooh''': Who's there?
:'''Rabbit''': Pooh!
:'''Pooh''': Pooh who?
:'''Rabbit''': No! Pooh... eh... Piglet, you'll need more than two knots.
:'''Piglet''': Not possible.
:'''Owl''': Ah, so it is possible to knot those pieces.
:'''Piglet''': Not these pieces!
:'''Pooh''': Yes. Knot those pieces.
:'''Piglet''': Why not?
:'''Eeyore''': Because it's all for naught.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pooh''': Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't win, Eeyore?
:'''Eeyore''': Yup, I know how that feels.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[last lines; in the post-credits scene]''
:'''The Backson''': ''[enters stomping until he spots the trail of objects]'' Wow! It's amazing what you can find in the woods. A marble! And a boot! ''[picks up blackboard with picture of Backson]'' And oh, my, that's a scary looking fella. Gosh, maybe these are his things. You know, I better pick 'em up so they won't get broken. That's the last thing I would want. ''[falls in pit]'' Whoa! Oh, my gosh! Is this a pit? I think I'm in a pit! Hello! Anybody up there? Oh, well. I hope that fella will be back soon.

== Taglines ==
* Oh, Pooh.
* An all-new story brought to life on the big screen
* W.T.P.?
* Back where they belong. In theaters everywhere.

== Character Animation ==
=== [[w:Winnie the Pooh (Disney character)|Winnie the Pooh]] and [[w:Tigger|Tigger]] ===
==== Supervising Animators ====
* Winnie the Pooh — '''[[w:Mark Henn|Mark Henn]]'''
* Tigger — '''[[w:Andreas Deja|Andreas Deja]]'''

==== Voice ====
* '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]'''


=== [[w:Eeyore|Eeyore]] ===
==== Supervising Animator ====
* '''Randy Haycock'''

==== Voice ====
* '''[[w:Bud Luckey|Bud Luckey]]'''


=== [[w:List of Winnie-the-Pooh characters#Owl|Owl]] ===
==== Supervising Animator ====
* '''[[w:Dale Baer|Dale L. Baer]]'''

==== Voice ====
* '''[[Craig Ferguson]]'''


=== [[w:Christopher Robin|Christopher Robin]] ===
==== Supervising Animator ====
* '''Mark Henn'''

==== Voice ====
* '''Jack Boulter'''


=== [[w:Piglet (Winnie-the-Pooh)|Piglet]], [[w:List of Winnie-the-Pooh characters#Kanga|Kanga]] &amp; [[w:Roo|Roo]] ===
==== Supervising Animator ====
* '''[[w:Bruce W. Smith|Bruce Smith]]'''

==== Voices ====
* Piglet — '''[[w:Travis Oates|Travis Oates]]'''
* Kanga — '''[[w:Kristen Anderson-Lopez|Kristen Anderson-Lopez]]'''
* Roo — '''Wyatt Dean Hall'''


=== [[w:Rabbit (Winnie-the-Pooh)|Rabbit]] &amp; The Backson ===
==== Supervising Animator ====
* '''[[w:Eric Goldberg (animator)|Eric Goldberg]]'''

==== Voices ====
* Rabbit — '''[[Tom Kenny]]'''
* The Backson — '''[[w:Huell Howser|Huell Howser]]'''


=== Narrator ===
* '''[[John Cleese]]'''

== Cast&lt;br&gt;(In Order of Appearance) ==
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — Narrator
* '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — Winnie the Pooh
* '''[[w:Bud Luckey|Bud Luckey]]''' — Eeyore
* '''[[Craig Ferguson]]''' — Owl
* '''Jack Boulter''' — Christopher Robin
* '''[[w:Travis Oates|Travis Oates]]''' — Piglet
* '''[[w:Kristen Anderson-Lopez|Kristen Anderson-Lopez]]''' — Kanga
* '''Wyatt Dean Hall''' — Roo
* '''[[Tom Kenny]]''' — Rabbit
* '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — Tigger
* '''[[w:Huell Howser|Huell Howser]]''' — The Backson

== Additional Voices ==
* '''Lisa Linder Silver'''
* '''[[w:Robert Lopez|Robert Lopez]]'''

== In Memoriam ==
* '''Dan Read'''&lt;br&gt;(1950–2010)

== External Links ==
{{Wikipedia|Winnie the Pooh (2011 film)}}

[[Category:2011 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Winnie the Pooh films]]
[[Category:Films set in England]]
[[Category:Films directed by Don Hall]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>James Howard Kunstler</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <contributor>
        <ip>2001:1388:661:6EF5:2D07:D5C1:A0C:ED56</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Long Emergency (2005) */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="102508" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jim w mustache.jpg|thumb|right]]
'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Now, exactly a hundred years after the first powered flight at {{w|Kitty Hawk, North Carolina}}, I can get on a jet airplane twice the size of a house several times a month and fly halfway across North America in the time it takes to finish a newspaper—and I end up feeling cranky and resentful about the service, to boot! They ran out of pretzels! The air conditioning was set too low! […] Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of surpassing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human [...]. [But] The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. 
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. [Contraceptive methods] might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil [...]. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, a major decline in [...] population [...] is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life. 
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy, like God, moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the [supposedly] closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Now, exactly a hundred years after the first powered flight at {{w|Kitty Hawk, North Carolina}}, I can get on a jet airplane twice the size of a house several times a month and fly halfway across North America in the time it takes to finish a newspaper—and I end up feeling cranky and resentful about the service, to boot! They ran out of pretzels! The air conditioning was set too low! […] Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of surpassing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human [...]. [But] The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. 
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy, like God, moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the [supposedly] closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.&lt;br&gt;'''Global warming is no longer a theory being disputed by political interests, but an established scientific consensus.''' The possible effects range from events as drastic as a hydrothermal shutdown of the Gulf Stream — meaning a much colder Europe with much-reduced agriculture — to desertification of major world crop-growing areas, to the invasion of temperate regions by diseases formerly limited to the tropics, to the loss of harbor cities all over the world. Whether the cause of global warming is human activity and “greenhouse emissions,” a result of naturally occurring cycles, or a combination of the two, this does not alter the fact that it is having swift and tremendous impacts on civilization and that its effects will contribute greatly to the Long Emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Now, exactly a hundred years after the first powered flight at {{w|Kitty Hawk, North Carolina}}, I can get on a jet airplane twice the size of a house several times a month and fly halfway across North America in the time it takes to finish a newspaper—and I end up feeling cranky and resentful about the service, to boot! They ran out of pretzels! The air conditioning was set too low! […] Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of surpassing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human [...]. [But] The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. 
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy, like God, moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the [supposedly] closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.&lt;br&gt;'''Global warming is no longer a theory being disputed by political interests, but an established scientific consensus.''' The possible effects range from events as drastic as a hydrothermal shutdown of the Gulf Stream — meaning a much colder Europe with much-reduced agriculture — to desertification of major world crop-growing areas, to the invasion of temperate regions by diseases formerly limited to the tropics, to the loss of harbor cities all over the world. Whether the cause of global warming is human activity and “greenhouse emissions,” a result of naturally occurring cycles, or a combination of the two, this does not alter the fact that it is having swift and tremendous impacts on civilization and that its effects will contribute greatly to the Long Emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of surpassing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human [...]. [But] The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. 
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* Fossil fuels allowed the human race to operate highly complex systems at gigantic scales. Renewable energy sources are not compatible with those systems and scales. Renewables will not be able to take the place of oil and gas in running those systems. The systems themselves will have to go. Even many “environmentalists” and “greens” of our day seem to think that all we have to do is switch inputs. Instead of running all the air conditioners of Houston on oil- or gas-generated electricity, we'll use wind farms, or massive solar arrays; we'll have super-fuel-efficient cars and keep on commuting over the interstate highway system. It isn’t going to happen. The wish to keep running the same giant systems at gigantic scale using renewables is the heart of our illusions about solar, wind, and waterpower.
** Chapter 4, p. 131.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy, like God, moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the [supposedly] closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.&lt;br&gt;'''Global warming is no longer a theory being disputed by political interests, but an established scientific consensus.''' The possible effects range from events as drastic as a hydrothermal shutdown of the Gulf Stream — meaning a much colder Europe with much-reduced agriculture — to desertification of major world crop-growing areas, to the invasion of temperate regions by diseases formerly limited to the tropics, to the loss of harbor cities all over the world. Whether the cause of global warming is human activity and “greenhouse emissions,” a result of naturally occurring cycles, or a combination of the two, this does not alter the fact that it is having swift and tremendous impacts on civilization and that its effects will contribute greatly to the Long Emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of sur- passing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human to the strange frontier where man imagines himself into a kind of machine immortality.&lt;br&gt;All of the marvels and miracles of the twentieth century were enabled by our access to abundant supplies of cheap fossil fuels. Even the applied technology of atomic fission, which came along at mid-century, would have been impossible without fossil fuels, and may be impossible to continue very long into the future without them.&lt;br&gt;The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. These facts are poorly understood by the global population preoccupied with the thrum of daily life, but tragically, too, by the educated classes in the United States, who continue to be by far the greatest squanderers of fossil fuels. It is extremely important that we make an effort to understand what is about to happen to us because it will have earth-shaking repercussions for the way we live, the way the world is ordered, and on whether the very precious cargo of human culture can move safely forward into the future.
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* Fossil fuels allowed the human race to operate highly complex systems at gigantic scales. Renewable energy sources are not compatible with those systems and scales. Renewables will not be able to take the place of oil and gas in running those systems. The systems themselves will have to go. Even many “environmentalists” and “greens” of our day seem to think that all we have to do is switch inputs. Instead of running all the air conditioners of Houston on oil- or gas-generated electricity, we'll use wind farms, or massive solar arrays; we'll have super-fuel-efficient cars and keep on commuting over the interstate highway system. It isn’t going to happen. The wish to keep running the same giant systems at gigantic scale using renewables is the heart of our illusions about solar, wind, and waterpower.
** Chapter 4, p. 131.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy, like God, moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the [supposedly] closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
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[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
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[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.&lt;br&gt;'''Global warming is no longer a theory being disputed by political interests, but an established scientific consensus.''' The possible effects range from events as drastic as a hydrothermal shutdown of the Gulf Stream — meaning a much colder Europe with much-reduced agriculture — to desertification of major world crop-growing areas, to the invasion of temperate regions by diseases formerly limited to the tropics, to the loss of harbor cities all over the world. Whether the cause of global warming is human activity and “greenhouse emissions,” a result of naturally occurring cycles, or a combination of the two, this does not alter the fact that it is having swift and tremendous impacts on civilization and that its effects will contribute greatly to the Long Emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of sur- passing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human to the strange frontier where man imagines himself into a kind of machine immortality.&lt;br&gt;All of the marvels and miracles of the twentieth century were enabled by our access to abundant supplies of cheap fossil fuels. Even the applied technology of atomic fission, which came along at mid-century, would have been impossible without fossil fuels, and may be impossible to continue very long into the future without them.&lt;br&gt;The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. These facts are poorly understood by the global population preoccupied with the thrum of daily life, but tragically, too, by the educated classes in the United States, who continue to be by far the greatest squanderers of fossil fuels. It is extremely important that we make an effort to understand what is about to happen to us because it will have earth-shaking repercussions for the way we live, the way the world is ordered, and on whether the very precious cargo of human culture can move safely forward into the future.
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* Fossil fuels allowed the human race to operate highly complex systems at gigantic scales. Renewable energy sources are not compatible with those systems and scales. Renewables will not be able to take the place of oil and gas in running those systems. The systems themselves will have to go. Even many “environmentalists” and “greens” of our day seem to think that all we have to do is switch inputs. Instead of running all the air conditioners of Houston on oil- or gas-generated electricity, we'll use wind farms, or massive solar arrays; we'll have super-fuel-efficient cars and keep on commuting over the interstate highway system. It isn’t going to happen. The wish to keep running the same giant systems at gigantic scale using renewables is the heart of our illusions about solar, wind, and waterpower.
** Chapter 4, p. 131.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. Biogenic complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy […] moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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'''[[W:James Howard Kunstler|James Howard Kunstler]]''' (born [[October 19]], [[1948]], New York City, New York) is an American author, social critic, public speaker, and blogger.

== Quotes ==
* As modern interpolators might say, the bubonic plague winnowed down Europe’s population to a scale more congenial with its resource base. After that big first wave of the disease, [the] land was cheaper and human labor better rewarded. Eventually, more food got around. Incidentally, '''the plague provoked nostalgia for the classical antiquity of [[Greece]] and [[Rome]], especially among the scholars of [[Florence]], launching the extravaganzas of the [[Renaissance]], the [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]], and eventually our own pageant of techno-supremacist [[Modernity]].'''
** &quot;Dance Macabre,&quot; May 18, 2020.
* […] '''Life is tragic and history won’t shed a tear for us''' if we make poor collective decisions, or adopt beliefs that are inconsistent with reality.
** &quot;The Old American Dream Is a Nightmare,&quot; March 9, 2011.
* '''An overwhelming majority of scientists who have looked into the matter agree that global warming is underway and is probably caused by people burning fossil fuels. This is the meta-fact hovering over all the details. After all, in burning so much coal, oil, and gas we've released [a fraction of] 460 million years of sequestered carbon into the atmosphere in a mere two hundred years. There are consequences for doing this. The trajectory of climate problems has gotten only more severe''' since I discussed the issue in ''The Long Emergency'' in 2005. Greenhouse gas emissions have exceeded predictions. The IPCC report expects a sea level rise of at least three feet by 2100; James Hansen of [[NASA]] says possibly seventeen feet. If that is the case, there would be no need to argue over the finer points of how many square miles in the Netherlands would be underwater —you could just kiss it goodbye, along with Bangladesh, many Pacific islands, most of Florida, and the Mississippi River Delta, Houston, Jacksonville, Key West, and thousands of other places. Remember, most of the people on the planet live near the world’s seacoasts.
** ''Too Much Magic'', p. 203.

=== ''[[w:World Made by Hand|World Made by Hand]]'' (2008) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''World Made by Hand''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2008. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8021-4401-0}}.

* In the early twenty-first century [[farming]] had all but died out here. We got our food from the supermarket, and not everybody cared where the supermarket got it as long as it was there on the shelves. A few elderly dairymen hung on. Many let their fields and pastures go to scrub. Some sold out to what used to be called developers, and they'd put in five or ten poorly build houses. Now, […] there were far fewer people, and many houses outside [the] town were being taken down for their materials. Farming was back. That was the only way we got food.
** Chapter 1, p. 5

* We lived more by the sun than by the clock, but I did own a clock. It was an eight-day windup console clock which I kept on the mantel in the living room, and it was the only timepiece in the house that worked anymore.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* Living by the clock was an old habit that died hard. Not much that we did required punctuality, but people still wanted to know what time it was.
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* The racket was coming over what used to be our public radio station, WAMC out of [[Wikipedia:Albany, New York|Albany]], but the familiar [...] voices [...] were long gone. Some febrile evangelist was railing from the [[Book of Revelation]].
** Chapter 4, p. 20

* I switched on the television on the outside chance that something might come through. Nothing had been on for years. The local network affiliates withered away after the national network of cable channels went out until there was nothing. 
** Chapter 4, p. 20–21

* I searched the FM band but there was nothing besides other pious pleaders, and they didn't come in too well. The AM band offered about the same thing, only with worse reception, nothing remotely describable as news, and no music because commercial entertainment as we knew it was no more, and its handmaiden, advertising had gone with it.
** Chapter 4, p. 21

* I had one of those steel thermal mugs you carried everywhere with you as a kind of signifier of how busy, and therefore how important you were.
** Chapter 4, p. 22

* It was obvious there would be no return to [what we used to call] &quot;normality.&quot; The [resource-intensive] economy wouldn't be coming back. [[Wikipedia:Globalism|Globalism]] was over. The politicians and generals were failing to pull things together at the center. We would not be returning to Boston. The computer industry, in which so many hopes had been vested, was fading into history.
** Chapter 4, p. 24

* In a world that had become a salvage operation, the general supply evolved into Union Grove's leading industry. When every […] useful thing in town had been stripped from the [[Wikipedia:Kmart|Kmart]] and the United Auto, the [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS drugstore]], and other trading establishments of the bygone national chain-store economy, daily life became a perpetual flea market centered on the old town dump.
** Chapter 5, p. 28

* We regarded [[Wikipedia:Opium|opium]] as a godsend. It did not develop into an illicit trade, though. There was no legal prohibition, no police running around trying to suppress drugs, driving up the price artificially, and no marketing system. There were no distant markets to send it to because shipping anything was slow at best and often unreliable, and travel was something you just didn't do anymore. Anybody could grow their own [[Wikipedia:Papaver somniferum|poppies]] or buy raw opium paste from one of the growers. Farmers made more money growing raspberries or asparagus. They grew poppies as a public service. A few people took to smoking opium, but those with an extremely apathetic attitude toward survival tended not to last long in the new disposition of things.
** Chapter 5, p. 30

* Children [...] had sat in those very box buildings under buzzing fluorescent lights listening to their science teachers prattle about the wonders of space travel and gene splicing and how we were all going to live to be a hundred and twenty-five years old in &quot;smart&quot; computer-controlled houses where all we had to do was speak to bump up the heat or turn on giant home theater screens in a life of perpetual leisure and comfort. It made me sick to think about. Not because there's something necessarily wrong with leisure or comfort, but because that's where our aspirations ended. And in the face of what had […] happened to us, it seemed obscenely stupid.
** Chapter 6, p. 33–34

* Motion is a great tranquilizer.
** Chapter 6, p. 34

* Few dogs were around anymore. Some had been eaten during the hunger that followed the flu in the spring of that year. People didn't talk about it; it was so demoralizing.
** Chapter 7, p. 36

* Jesus [...] look how we live? I'm […] a serf.
** Chapter 7, p. 37

* You could argue people are generally better off now mentally than they were back then. We follow the natural cycles. We eat real food instead of processed crap full of chemicals. We're not jacked up on coffee and television and [...] advertising all the time. No more anxiety about credit card bills.
** Chapter 7, p. 37–38

* We all knew the apparatus of justice had dissolved.
** Chapter 12, p. 57

* As the world changed, we reverted to social divisions that we'd thought were obsolete. The egalitarian pretenses of the high-octane decades had dissolved, and nobody even debated it anymore, including the women of our town. A plain majority of the townspeople were laborers now, whatever in life they had been before. Nobody in town called them peasants, but in effect, that's what they'd become. That's just the way things were.
** Chapter 21, p. 101

* [[Wikipedia:Waterford (town), New York|Waterford]] began its existence as the gateway to the [[Wikipedia:Erie Canal|Erie Canal system]], the first stretch of which was built to bypass several waterfalls on the [[Wikipedia:Mohawk River|Mohawk River]].
** Chapter 28, p. 137

* I remembered Albany [...] as just another down-on-its-luck small American city that had sacrificed its vitality to a whirring ring of homogenous suburbs.
** Chapter 29, p. 140

* We're building our own New Jerusalem up the river. It's a world made by hand, now, one stone at a time, one board at a time, one hope at a time, one soul at a time.
** Chapter 29, p. 142

* Whatever the other failures of the U.S. government were, it had managed to print an excess of dollars which, combined with the collapse of trade and communication, had severely eroded the currency's value.
** Chapter 30, p. 146

* I lay awake [...] listening to the rain drip from the eaves and thinking of the big map that hung from the top of the chalkboard in my primary school in Wilton, Connecticut, so many years ago, back in the days of cars, television, and air-conditioning. The states on this map were muted tones of pink, green, and yellow. Over it hung the flag that we pledged allegiance to every single morning. &quot;One nation under God, indivisible...&quot;
** Chapter 31, p. 150

* I'd been carrying [my Ruger .41 Magnum] so many days that I had almost forgotten it was there. This was the kind of world we now lived in.
** Chapter 36, p. 171

* I argued that […] human[s] […] should have known it was in trouble, [...] given how insane our way of life had become. Minor quit blowing into his harmonica long enough to say that [[Wikipedia:John D. Rockefeller|John D. Rockefeller]] and the [[Wikipedia:Bush family|Bush family]] had made a deal with the Devil going back all the way to the 1900s.
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* Could we even pretend the law still existed? Or was it something you made up now, as the occasion required?
** Chapter 38, p. 181

* The essence of politics was to not act on your impulses.
** Chapter 42, p. 199

* There's real strangeness in this world of ours. Back in the machine times, there was so much noise front and back, […] it kept us from knowing what lies behind the surface of things. 
** Chapter 55, p. 262

* It was more possible that […] human[s] […] possessed some spark of divinity that was worth cultivating than that a mysterious ''being'' was up there in the ether somewhere with anthropomorphic qualities of goodness and mercy running the whole show.
** Chapter 65, p. 315–316

* We were content to be undisturbed in our little backwater, Union Grove, [[Wikipedia:Washington County, New York|Washington County]], in a place once called the [[Wikipedia:New York State|Empire State]], where the [[Wikipedia:Battenkill|Battenkill]] runs into the [[Wikipedia:Hudson River|Hudson River]].
** Chapter 65, p. 317

=== ''[[w:The Long Emergency|The Long Emergency]]'' (2005) ===
Kunstler, James Howard. ''The Long Emergency''. New York, NY: Grove Press, 2005. Print. {{ISBN|978-0-8711-3888-0}}.

* It has been [...] hard [...] to make sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of everyday life in [...] society. Even after the {{w|September 11 attacks|terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001}}, that collapsed the twin towers of the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} and sliced through [[the Pentagon]], [...] [we are] still sleepwalking into [an uncertain] [...] future. We have walked out of our burning house, and we are now headed off the edge of a cliff. Beyond that cliff is an abyss of economic and political disorder on a scale that no one has ever seen before. […]  It is my view, for instance, that in the decades to come the national government will prove to be so impotent and ineffective in managing the enormous vicissitudes we face that the [[United States]] may not survive as a nation in any meaningful sense but […] will devolve into a set of autonomous regions.
** Chapter 1, p. 1.

* It is no exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap [and easy-to-find [[hydrocarbon]]s like] [[oil]] and [[w:natural gas|natural gas]] underlie everything we identify as a benefit of modern life. All the necessities, comforts, luxuries, and miracles of our time [...] owe their origins or continued existence in one way or another to cheap fossil fuel. Even our nuclear power plants [...] depend on cheap [...] [hydrocarbons] for all the procedures of construction, maintenance, and extracting and processing nuclear fuels. The blandishments of cheap oil and gas were so seductive, and induced such transports of mesmerizing contentment, that we ceased paying attention to the essential nature of these miraculous gifts from the [deep] earth: that they exist in finite, nonrenewable supplies, unevenly distributed around the world. To aggravate matters, the wonders of steady technological progress under the reign of oil have tricked us [...] to believe that anything we wish for hard enough can come true. These days, even people in our culture who ought to know better are wishing ardently that a smooth, seamless transition from fossil fuels to their putative replacements [...] lies just a few years ahead. [...] This is a dangerous fantasy. The true best-case scenario may be that some of these technologies will take decades to develop–meaning that we can expect an extremely turbulent interval between the end of cheap oil and whatever comes next. A more likely scenario is that new fuels and technologies may never replace fossil fuels at the scale, rate, and manner at which the [industrial] world currently consumes them.
** Chapter 1, p. 2–3.

* What is [...] not comprehended about this predicament is that the developed world will begin to suffer long before the oil and gas [...] run out. The [[American Dream|American way of life]] [...] can run only on reliable supplies of dependably cheap [hydrocarbons like] oil and gas. Even mild to moderate deviations in [...] supply will crush our economy and make […] daily life impossible. Fossil fuel reserves are not scattered equitably around the world. They tend to be concentrated in places where the native peoples don’t like the West in general [...], places physically very remote, places where we realistically can exercise little control [...]. [...] We can be certain that the price and supplies of fossil fuels will suffer oscillations and disruptions in the period ahead [...]. [...] The decline of fossil fuels is certain to ignite chronic strife between nations contesting the remaining supplies. These resource wars have already begun. There will be more of them. They are [...] likely to grind on and on [...]. They will only aggravate a situation that, in and of itself, could bring down civilizations. The extent of suffering [...] will certainly depend on how tenaciously we attempt to cling to obsolete habits, customs, and assumptions–for instance, how fiercely [...] [we] decide to fight to maintain suburban lifestyles that simply cannot be rationalized any longer.
** Chapter 1, p. 3.

* [[Thomas Robert Malthus|[Thomas] Malthus]] was certainly correct [that demand will outstrip supply], but [...] [hydrocarbons] [...] skewed the [supply-demand] equation over the past [two] hundred years while the human race has enjoyed an unprecedented orgy of [a fraction of] nonrenewable condensed solar energy accumulated over eons of prehistory. The “green revolution” in boosting crop yields was minimally about scientific innovation in crop genetics and mostly about dumping massive amounts of fertilizers and pesticides made [...] of [...] [petroleum] onto crops, as well as employing irrigation at a fantastic scale made possible by abundant oil and gas. The cheap oil age created an artificial bubble of plenitude for a period not much longer than a human lifetime, a hundred years. Within that comfortable bubble, the idea took hold that only grouches, spoilsports, and godless maniacs considered population hypergrowth a problem, and that to even raise the issue was indecent. [...] '''As oil ceases to be cheap and the world reserves arc toward depletion, we will indeed suddenly be left with an enormous surplus population [...] that the ecology of the earth will not support.''' No political program of birth control will avail. The people are already here. The journey back to non-oil population homeostasis will not be pretty. '''We will discover the hard way that [[w:Baby boom|population hypergrowth]] was simply a side effect of the oil age.''' It was [more of] a condition [without a remedy], not a problem with a [direct] solution. That is what happened, and we are stuck with it.
** Chapter 1, p. 8.

* We are already experiencing huge cost externalities from population hypergrowth and profligate fossil fuel use in the form of environmental devastation. Of the earth’s estimated 10 million species, 300,000 have vanished in the past fifty years. Each year, 3,000 to 30,000 species become extinct, an all-time high for the last 65 million years. Within one hundred years, between one-third and two-thirds of all birds, animals, plants, and other species will be lost. Nearly 25 percent of the 4,630 known mammal species are now threatened with extinction, along with 34 percent of fish, 25 percent of amphibians, 20 percent of reptiles, and 11 percent of birds. Even more species are having population declines. Environmental scientists speak of an “omega point” at which the vast interconnected networks of Earth’s ecologies are so weakened that human existence is no longer possible. This is a variant of the die-off theme […], but it does raise grave questions about the ongoing project of civilization. How long might the Long Emergency last? […] Of course, after a while, an emergency becomes the norm and is no longer an emergency.&lt;br&gt;'''Global warming is no longer a theory being disputed by political interests, but an established scientific consensus.''' The possible effects range from events as drastic as a hydrothermal shutdown of the Gulf Stream — meaning a much colder Europe with much-reduced agriculture — to desertification of major world crop-growing areas, to the invasion of temperate regions by diseases formerly limited to the tropics, to the loss of harbor cities all over the world. Whether the cause of global warming is human activity and “greenhouse emissions,” a result of naturally occurring cycles, or a combination of the two, this does not alter the fact that it is having swift and tremendous impacts on civilization and that its effects will contribute greatly to the Long Emergency.
** Chapter 1, p. 8-9.

* The high tide of the [...] [industrial] age also happened to be a moment in history when human ingenuity gained an upper hand against the age-old scourges of disease. We have enjoyed the great benefits of antibiotic medicine for [...] a half-century. Penicillin, sulfa drugs, and their descendants briefly gave [hu]mankind the notion that diseases caused by microorganisms could, and indeed would, be systematically vanquished. Or, at least, this was the popular view. Doctors and scientists knew better. The discoverer of penicillin, [[Alexander Fleming]], himself warned that antibiotic misuse could result in resistant strains of bacteria.&lt;br&gt;The recognition is now growing that the victory over microbes was short-lived. They are back in force, including [...] old enemies such as tuberculosis and staphylococcus in new drug-resistant strains. Other old diseases are on the march into new territories, as a response to climate change brought on by global warming [caused by the burning of fossil fuels]. In response to unprecedented habitat destruction by humans and the invasion of [what we call] wilderness, the earth [sic] itself seems to be sending forth new and much more lethal diseases, as though it had a [...] protective immune system with antibody-like agents aimed with remarkable precision at the source of the problem: ''Homo sapiens''.
** Chapter 1, p. 9–10.

* At the same time, the world is overdue for an extreme influenza epidemic. The last major outbreak was the [[w:Spanish flu|1918 Spanish influenza]], which killed fifty million [and possibly more, as we will not know the real numbers] people worldwide and changed the course of history. […] Disease will certainly play a larger role in the Long Emergency than many can now imagine. An epidemic could paralyze social and economic systems, interrupt global trade, and bring down governments. […] '''At the very least, the Long Emergency will be a time of diminished life spans for many of us, as well as reduced standards of living'''–at least as understood within the current social context. Fossil fuels had the effect of temporarily raising the carrying capacity of the earth. Our ability to resist the environmental corrective of disease will [...] prove to have been another temporary boon of the [...] [industrial] age [...]. So much of what we construe to be among our entitlements to perpetual progress may prove to have been a strange, marvelous, and anomalous moment in [...] history.
** Chapter 1, p. 11–12.

* The so-called global economy was not a permanent institution, [...] but a set of transient circumstances peculiar to a certain time: the […] fossil fuel era. […] Factories could be started up in [[Sri Lanka]] and [[Malaysia]], where swollen populations furnished trainable workers willing to labor for much less than those back in the United States or [[Europe]]. Products then moved around the globe in a highly rationalized system, not unlike the oil allocation system, using immense vessels, automated port facilities, and truck-scaled shipping containers at a minuscule cost-per-unit of whatever was made and transported. Shirts or coffeemakers manufactured 12,000 miles away could be shipped to Wal-Marts all over America and sold cheaply. […] Meanwhile, among economists and government figures, globalism developed [...] [as] an intellectual fad. Globalism allowed them to believe that burgeoning wealth in the developed countries, and the spread of industrial activity to formerly primitive regions, was based on the potency of their own ideas and policies rather than on cheap [and easy-to-find hydrocarbons like] oil. […] [An] overlooked [fact] is that [[Margaret Thatcher|[Margaret] Thatcher]]’s success in reviving England coincided with a fantastic new revenue stream from {{w|North Sea}} oil, as quaint old Britannia became energy self-sufficient and a net energy-exporting nation for the first time since the heyday of coal. Globalism then infected America when [[Ronald Reagan]] came on the scene in 1981. Reagan’s ‘supply-side” economic advisors retailed a set of fiscal ideas that neatly accessorized the new notions about free trade and deregulation, chiefly that massively reducing taxes would […] result in greater revenues as the greater aggregate of business activity generated a greater aggregate of taxes even at lower rates. (What it […] generated was huge government deficits.) […] The rise of computers, in turn, promoted the fantasy that commerce in sheer information would be the long-sought replacement for all the played-out activities of the smokestack economy. A country like America, it was now thought, no longer needed steelmaking or tire factories or other harsh, dirty, troublesome enterprises. Let the poor masses of [[Asia]] and {{w|South America}} have them and lift themselves up from agricultural peonage. America would outsource all this old economy stuff and use computers to orchestrate the movement of parts and the assembly of products from distant quarters of the world, and then sell the stuff in our own {{w|K-mart}}s and {{w|Wal-Mart}}s, which would become global juggernauts of retailing. […] It was also like a convoluted liquidation sale of the accrued wealth of two hundred years of industrial society for the benefit of a handful of financial buccaneers, with the great masses relegated to a race to the bottom as the economic assets are dismantled and sold off, and their livelihoods are closed […]. That this development was uniformly greeted as a public good by the vast majority of Americans, at the same time that their local economies were being destroyed—and with them, myriad social and civic benefits—is one of the greater enigmas of recent social history. In effect, Americans threw away their communities […] to save a few dollars on hair dryers and plastic food storage tubs, never stopping to reflect on what they were destroying.
** Chapter 1, p. 12-16.

* [Globalism's] demise will coincide with the end of the cheap-oil age. For better or worse, many of the circumstances we associate with globalism will be reversed. Markets will close as political turbulence and military mischief interrupt trade relations. As markets close, societies will turn increasingly to import replacement[s] for sheer economic survival. The cost of transport will no longer be negligible in a post-cheap-oil age. Many of our agricultural products will have to be produced closer to home, and [...] by more intensive [...] labor as oil and natural gas supplies become increasingly unstable. The world will stop shrinking and become larger again. Virtually all [...] the [...] relationships [...] that we have taken for granted as permanent will be radically changed [...]. Life will become intensely and increasingly local.
** Chapter 1, p. 17.

* In any case, the tragic truth is that much of suburbia is unreformable. It does not lend itself to being retrofitted into the [...] mixed-use, smaller scaled, more fine-grained walkable environments we will need to carry on daily life in the coming age of [...] reduced motoring. [...] Instead, this suburban real estate [...] will enter a phase of rapid and cruel devaluation. Many of the suburban subdivisions will become the slums of the future. […] The seasons […] will continue with the great cycles of contraction and expansion, and at some point, in the future, who knows how many years distant, some of these cities in a land once called [the [[United States|United States of North] America]] may be robust and cosmopolitan in ways that we can’t imagine now, any more than a Roman of A.D. 38 might have been able to imagine the future London of the Beatles.
** Chapter 1, p. 17–18.

* […] We have lived through as a narrative episode in a greater saga of human history. The industrial story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. [[w:First Industrial Revolution|It begins in the mid-eighteenth century with coal and the first steam engines]], [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|proceeds to a robust second act]] climaxing in the years before [[World War I]], and moves toward a third act resolution now that we can anticipate with some precision the depletion of the resources that made the industrial episode possible. As the industrial story ends, the greater saga of [hu]mankind will move on into a new episode, the Long Emergency. This is […] a self-evident point, but throughout history, even the most important and self-evident trends are often completely ignored because the changes they foreshadow are simply unthinkable. That process is sometimes referred to as an “outside context problem,” something so far beyond the ordinary experience of those dwelling in a certain time and place that they cannot make sense of available information. The collective mental static preventing comprehension is also sometimes referred to as “cognitive dissonance,” a term borrowed from developmental psychology. It helps explain why the […] public has been sleepwalking into the future. The Long Emergency is going to be a tremendous trauma for […] human[s] […]. It is likely to entail political [and social] turbulence every bit as extreme as the economic conditions that prompt it.
** Chapter 1, p. 20.

* Whole ideologies had to be constructed to account for being modern and to explain it.
** Chapter 2, p. 22.

* Everything characteristic about the condition we call modern life has been a direct result of our access to abundant supplies of cheap [[Fossil fuel|fossil fuels]]. Fossil fuels have permitted us to fly, to go where we want to go rapidly, and move things easily from place to place. Fossil fuels rescued us from the despotic darkness of the night. They have made the pharaonic scale of building commonplace everywhere. They have allowed a fractionally tiny percentage of our swollen populations to produce massive amounts of food. They have allowed us to develop industries of sur- passing ingenuity and to push the limits of what it even means to be human to the strange frontier where man imagines himself into a kind of machine immortality.&lt;br&gt;All of the marvels and miracles of the twentieth century were enabled by our access to abundant supplies of cheap fossil fuels. Even the applied technology of atomic fission, which came along at mid-century, would have been impossible without fossil fuels, and may be impossible to continue very long into the future without them.&lt;br&gt;The age of fossil fuels is about to end. There is no replacement for them at hand. These facts are poorly understood by the global population preoccupied with the thrum of daily life, but tragically, too, by the educated classes in the United States, who continue to be by far the greatest squanderers of fossil fuels. It is extremely important that we make an effort to understand what is about to happen to us because it will have earth-shaking repercussions for the way we live, the way the world is ordered, and on whether the very precious cargo of human culture can move safely forward into the future.
** Chapter 2, p. 23.

* Because the oil peak phenomenon […] cancels out further industrial growth of the kind we are used to, its implications lie radically outside […] economic paradigm. So, the oil peak phenomenon has been discounted to about zero among conventional economists, who assume that “market signals” about oil supplies will inevitably trigger innovation, which, in turn, will cause [something] new […] to materialize and enable further growth. If the market signals are not triggering innovation, then the problem must be overstated and growth under the oil regime will resume—after, say, a normal periodic downcycle. This is obvious casuistry, but casuistry can be a great comfort when a problem has no real solution. […] Our investment in an oil-addicted way of life […] is now so inordinately large that it is too late to salvage all the national wealth wasted on building it, or to continue that way of life more than a decade or so into the future. What’s more, as we have outsourced manufacturing to other countries, the entire U.S. economy has become more […] dependent on continued misinvestment in […] suburbia and its accessories. No politician wants to tell voters that the [[American Dream]] has been canceled for a lack of […] resources. The U.S. economy would disintegrate. So, whichever party is in power has tended to ignore the issue, change the subject, or spin it into the realm of delusion.
** Chapter 2, p. 28.

* Fossil fuels are a unique endowment of geologic history that allow human beings to artificially and temporarily extend the carrying capacity of our habitat on the planet Earth. Before fossil fuels—namely, coal, oil, and natural gas—came into general use, fewer than one billion human beings inhabited the earth. Today, after […] two centuries of fossil fuels, and with extraction now at an all-time high, the planet supports six and a half billion people. Subtract the fossil fuels and the human race has an obvious problem. The fossil fuel bonanza was a one-time deal, and the interval we have enjoyed it in has been an anomalous period of human history. It has lasted long enough for the people now living in the advanced industrialized nations to consider it […] normative. Fossil fuels provided for each person in an industrialized country the equivalent of having hundreds of slaves constantly at his or her disposal. We are now unable to imagine a life without them—or think within a different socioeconomic model—and therefore we are unprepared for what is coming.
**Chapter 2, p. 30-31.

*'''Oil and gas were generally so cheap and plentiful throughout the twentieth century that even those in the lowest ranks of the social order enjoyed its benefits'''—electrified homes, cars, televisions, [and] air conditioning. '''Oil is an amazing substance. It stores a tremendous amount of energy per weight and volume. It is easy to transport. It stores easily at regular air temperature in unpressurized metal tanks, and it can sit there indefinitely without degrading.''' You can pump it through a pipe, you can send it all over the world in ships, you can haul it around in trains, cars, and trucks, you can even fly it in tanker planes and refuel other airplanes in flight. It is flammable but has proven to be safe to handle with a modest amount of care by people with double-digit IQs. It can be refined by straightforward distillation into many grades of fuel —gasoline, diesel, kerosene, aviation fuel, heating oil —and into innumerable useful products—plastics, paints, pharmaceuticals, fabrics, [and] lubricants.&lt;br&gt;'''Nothing really matches oil for power, versatility, transportability, or ease of storage. It is all these things, plus it has been cheap and plentiful.''' […] The lack of these qualities is among the problems with the putative alternative fuels proposed for the post-cheap-energy era. Cheap, abundant, versatile. '''Oil led the human race to a threshold of nearly godlike power to transform the world. It was right there in the ground, easy to get. We used it as if there was no tomorrow. Now there may not be one. That's how special oil has been.'''
** Chapter 2, p. 31.

* […] Suburbia turned out to be a disappointing cartoon of country living rather than the real thing [that] was a tragic unanticipated consequence […].
** Chapter 2, p. 40.

* After 1945, America's position in the world vis-a-vis oil was special and privileged, perhaps to a degree that remains less than fully appreciated. Europe, having fought over distant supplies of oil in two world wars and suffered hugely, never became complacent about it, as reflected in Europeans' compact living arrangements and their high luxury taxes on gasoline. But America, having won those wars and possessing substantial reserves of oil in situ, became overconfident to a dangerous degree about its oil future. When a geologist named [[M. King Hubbert]] announced in 1949 that there was, in fact, a set geological limit to the supply of oil that could be described mathematically, and that it didn't lie that far off in the future, nobody wanted to believe him. Hubbert was not a lightweight. Before [[World War II]], he had taught geology at Columbia University and worked for the United States Geological Survey. His theoretical work on the behavior of rock in the earth's crust was highly regarded and led to innovations in oil exploration. Stretching from 1903 to 1989, Hubbert's whole life took place during the high tide of the oil era, and he played a large part in developing its science. But he was a visionary who dared to imagine the final act of the oil drama.&lt;br&gt;By the mid-1950s, as chief of research for Shell Oil, Hubbert had worked up a series of mathematical models based on known U.S. oil reserves, typical rates of production, and apparent rates of consumption, and, in 1956, he concluded that the oil production in the United States would peak sometime between 1966 and 1972. Hubbert also demonstrated that the rate of discovery would plot out a parallel path as the rate of production, only decades earlier. Since discovery of new fields in the United States had peaked in the 1930s and declined remorselessly afterward, despite greatly improved techniques in exploration, the conclusion was obvious. Production declines would follow inexorably, Hubbert predicted, despite improved drilling and extraction methods. After this point of maximum production, or &quot;peak,&quot; U.S. oil fields would enter a steady and irreversible arc of depletion. He displayed this information in a simple bell curve. The peak was the top of the curve. Nobody took &quot;Hubbert's curve&quot; seriously. His was a lone voice in a nation that was having too much fun cruising for burgers to imagine what really lay down the road.&lt;br&gt;The extraordinary rate of discovery in other parts of the world during the 1950s and 1960s reinforced American complacency, because it tended to suggest that more oil could always be found elsewhere, especially in third-world places where compliant peoples would be happy to benefit from its development. Proven world reserves, Yergin writes, had increased from 62 billion barrels in 1948 to 534 billion in 1972, almost all of it outside the United States (and the communist nations), and more than 80 percent of it in the Middle East. A twenty-year glut of oil developed. The Soviets were giving it away literally at half market price because it was one of the few things, they could sell to get hard currency. A small amount of fungible foreign crude found its way into U.S. markets, but for most of the 1950s and 1960s, a complex system of import quotas kept most foreign oil out of the U.S. market, while domestic production operated well below capacity. Because the global oil industry was dominated at the time so overwhelmingly by American companies, their market allocation systems, and their technical expertise, there was an unrealistic assumption by Americans that these favorable conditions would continue indefinitely. This sense of invulnerability was reinforced when, following the stunning Israeli victory over Egypt in the Six-Day War of 1967, Saudi Arabia attempted to orchestrate an embargo against nations that supported Israel. America's surplus production capacity, its ability to just pump more oil as needed, allowed the West to work around Arab sanctions. The embargo fizzled. Within a few years, though, everything changed.&lt;br&gt;U.S. oil production proceeded to peak in 1970 —though the peak was not detected until the following year, when lower figures started to come in. Peak production in 1970 was 11.3 million barrels a day. That would be the highest level ever, and production would fall by several percentage points a year ever after. (By the mid-1980s total U.S. crude production fell under 9 million barrels a day and is currently under 6 million.) Meanwhile, in 1970, aggregate U.S. demand would cross the line of total U.S. production. Surplus capacity was gone. Hubbert's prediction had been absolutely correct. Two more years of denial, confusion, and inaction followed (aggravated by the national preoccupation with the growing fiasco in Vietnam and the Watergate scandal), and then the United States received a very upsetting wake-up call: the OPEC oil embargo of 1973.&lt;br&gt;The crisis occurred for a very simple reason: The United States had lost pricing power over globally traded oil because, having passed peak, it was pumping its oil at the maximum rate. What's more, as the United States passed peak, net imports rose swiftly from 2.2 million barrels just before peak to 6 million in 1973. Suddenly the United States was importing roughly a third of its oil. Without surplus capacity, the ability to open the valves and flood the market with &quot;product,&quot; the United States had ceded control of world oil prices to somebody else who still did have surplus capacity. That &quot;somebody else&quot; was the {{w|Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries}} (OPEC), led by [[Saudi Arabia]].
** Chapter 2, p. 42-44.

* […] The base price of a barrel of oil did eventually more than quadruple by the time the embargo was called off in March 1974. And the price rise alone staggered the West and Japan. Already at that time, public transit was a thing of the past and about 85 percent of Americans drove to work every day.
** Chapter 2, p. 46.

* Oil is the world's most critical resource. Without it, nothing works in industrial civilization as currently configured. Few people dispute the idea that the world will eventually run out of oil, and there is a broad recognition that it will happen [...].
** Chapter 3, p. 64.

* The total planetary endowment of conventional nonrenewable liquid oil was [...] two trillion barrels before humans started using it [and possibly more, as most of it was used to protect the Earth's crust]. Since the mid-nineteenth century, the world has burned through [...] one trillion barrels of oil, [...] representing the easiest-to-get, highest-quality liquids. [...] Oil has enabled the [[w:Mid-20th century baby boom|[post-War] population explosion]].
** Chapter 3, p. 66.

* The denial about [the] global peak in the United States is already fierce, as investments in car-dependent, oil-addicted infrastructure are greater here than in any other nation and Americans consider their way of life a God-given entitlement. […] The economic [...] [struggle] among [...] all nations, [...] will be considerable and is certain to lead to increasingly desperate competition for diminishing supplies of oil [and every other resource]. 
** Chapter 3, p. 68.

* […] With China becoming a presence by necessity in the region, we would be back in a cold war again, or something worse, contesting with a rival world hegemon, this time over […] resources, not [just] ideology.
** Chapter 3, p. 84.

* In the chaotic period around the peak oil event, China will not be without extraordinary problems of its own, starting with enormous population pressures, and moving on to massive environmental degradation and the incubation and spread of epidemic diseases, including deadly influenzas associated with factory farming as well as accelerated AIDS infection […]. The severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak was a preview of coming attractions. On top of these vicissitudes will be added the severe economic hardship entailed when an economically strapped America (and the rest of the West) can no longer sop up the many products of China's tremendous industrial capacity. This would produce widespread unemployment in China, possibly leading to political turmoil of a kind not seen since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
** Chapter 3, p. 85.

* Eventually, […] [we] will have to contend with the problems of the Long Emergency: the end of industrial growth, falling standards of living, economic desperation, declining food production, and domestic political strife. A point will be reached when the great powers of the world no longer have the means to project their power any distance. Even nuclear weapons may become inoperable, considering how much their careful maintenance depends on other technological systems linked to our fossil fuel economy.
** Chapter 3, p. 98.

* To some degree, all […] the non-fossil fuel energy sources […] depend on an underlying fossil fuel economy. You can’t manufacture metal wind turbines using wind energy technology. You can’t make lead-acid storage batteries for solar electric systems using any known solar energy systems.
** Chapter 3, p. 100.

* This age-old tendency of humans to believe in magical deliverance and to wish for happy outcomes has been aggravated by the very technological triumphs that the oil age brought into existence. Technology itself has become a […] supernatural force, one that has demonstrably delivered all kinds of miracles within the memory of many people now living […]. '''There's no question that technology has prolonged life spans, relieved misery, and made everyday life luxurious for a substantial lucky minority.''' […] A hopeful public, including leaders in business and politics, views the growing problem of oil depletion as a very straightforward engineering problem of exactly the kind that technology and human ingenuity have so successfully solved before, and it, therefore, seems reasonable to assume that the combination will prevail again. There are, however, several defects in this belief.&lt;br&gt;One is that we tend to confuse and conflate energy and technology. They go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. The oil endowment was an extraordinary and singular occurrence of geology, allowing us to use [a fraction of] the stored energy of millions of years of sunlight. Once it's gone it will be gone forever. Technology is just the hardware and programming for running that fuel, but not the fuel itself. And technology is still bound to the laws of physics and thermodynamics, which both say you can't get something for nothing, and there is no such thing as perpetual motion. All of this is to say that much of our existing technology simply won't work without petroleum, and without the petroleum &quot;platform&quot; to work off, we may lack the tools to get beyond the current level of fossil-fuel-based technology. Another way of putting it is that we have an extremely narrow window of opportunity to make that happen. In the meantime, here are the problems with the various alternative fuels, based on what we know now.
** Chapter 3, p. 101-102.

* Natural gas […] is not as versatile as gasoline, but it does a lot of tasks beautifully. Gas is the feedstock—the raw material—for a wide array of chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and plastics. Ninety-five percent of the nitrogenous fertilizers used in America are made […] of natural gas, and so it has become indispensable to U.S. agriculture.
** Chapter 3, p. 103.

* Both the mining and the washing [of hydrocarbons] require huge amounts of energy, and it has been proposed that any commercial exploitation of the [[w:Athabasca oil sands|Alberta tar sands]] would take 20 percent of [[Canada]]’s total natural gas production. In the long run, it might not be worth expending the energy from gas to get the energy from the tar sands. If oil from the tar sands themselves were used to process more tar sands, the return would be three barrels of oil for every two consumed. […] In the early days of conventional oil in [[Texas]], the {{w|ERoEI}} formula was very favorable, around twenty to one. The oil was found close to the surface on dry land in temperate places easy to work in, and it gushed out of the ground under its own pressure. […] Going a bit further, the fundamental equations that support all gigantic […] organisms, […] may no longer obtain, and human life would have to reorganize its activities on a different basis. Also, '''once these complex systems and their subsystems halt their operations, restarting them may range from difficult to impossible''' […].
** Chapter 3, p. 108.

* [[w:Ancient Roman architecture|Roman architecture]] would have been impossible without the complex socioeconomic platform of [the] empire. The medieval social platform for northern European life was less elaborate and […] less complex. Compare these two historical cases with the complexity of social and economic organization that allows oil to be extracted from the ground, refined to gasoline, transported six thousand miles, and used in a highly engineered, fine-tuned machine called a car, [to be] driven on a six-lane freeway. '''If the social and economic platform fails, how long before the knowledge base dissolves?''' Two hundred years from now, will anyone know how to build or even repair a 1962 Chrysler slant-six engine? Not to mention a Nordex 1500 kW wind turbine? […] The existing knowledge in basic physics and chemistry is so widespread that it is likely to persist quite a while into the future and provide a foundation for doing more with less than, say, the people of the eighteenth century were able to do with their more limited knowledge.
** Chapter 4, p. 130.

* Fossil fuels allowed the human race to operate highly complex systems at gigantic scales. Renewable energy sources are not compatible with those systems and scales. Renewables will not be able to take the place of oil and gas in running those systems. The systems themselves will have to go. Even many “environmentalists” and “greens” of our day seem to think that all we have to do is switch inputs. Instead of running all the air conditioners of Houston on oil- or gas-generated electricity, we'll use wind farms, or massive solar arrays; we'll have super-fuel-efficient cars and keep on commuting over the interstate highway system. It isn’t going to happen. The wish to keep running the same giant systems at gigantic scale using renewables is the heart of our illusions about solar, wind, and waterpower.
** Chapter 4, p. 131.

* We surely will have to reform our land-use habits and the oil-based transportation system that has allowed us to run our car-crazy suburban environments. We'll have to drastically change the way we grow our food and where we grow it. [The] social organization may be quite different in the decades ahead. Features of contemporary life that we have taken for granted [...] may fade into history. Politics that evolved to suit the [...] [industrial age] may morph beyond recognition [...].
** Chapter 4, p. 141.

* '''Our brains are […] not equipped to process events on the geologic scale'''—at least in reference to how we choose to live, or what we choose to do in the here-and-now.
** Chapter 5, p. 148.

* [Global warming] [...] happens to coincide with our imminent descent down the slippery slope of [...] [hydrocarbon] depletion, so that '''all the potential discontinuities of that epochal circumstance will be amplified, ramified, reinforced, and torqued by climate change.''' If global warming is a result of human activity, fossil fuel-based industrialism, [...] then it seems [...] the prospects are poor that […] human[s] […] will be able to do anything about it, because the journey down the oil depletion arc will be much more disorderly than the journey up was. '''The disruptions and hardships of decelerating industrialism will destabilize governments and societies to the degree that concerted international action [...] will never be carried out. In the chaotic world of diminishing and contested [...] resources, there will simply be a mad scramble to use up whatever [...] people can manage to lay their hands on.''' The very idea that we possess any control over the process seems to be further evidence of the delusion gripping our [...] culture [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 148–149.

* [...] Abrupt climate change may be normal in the planet's history, or, to state it differently, that the earth's [sic] climate is inherently very unstable.
** Chapter 5, p. 149. 

* Without the [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]], [[United  Kingdom|Britain]], [[France]], the [[w:Low Countries|Low Countries]], and [[Scandinavia]] would have a climate like [[w:Labrador|Labrador]]’s, colder by {{convert|20|F|C}} in annual mean. The Gulf Stream has been likened to an oceanic conveyor belt. The force of the warm water flowing north has been described as equal to the volume of seventy-five [[w:Amazon River|Amazon river]]s.
** Chapter 5, p. 153.

* According to the {{w|IPCC}}, sea levels rose by ten to twenty centimeters during the twentieth century and are currently rising by about two millimeters a year, which is at the upper range of the rate of rise for the last century. With global warming accelerating, this is apt to increase. The accepted prediction is that sea levels will rise during the twenty-first century by about fifty centimeters, or a little under two feet, though some scientists predict a full meter. […] One-sixth of the people in the world live in coastal zones within one meter of sea level. This is the […] outside context problem so alien to contemporary experience that the public and its leaders can really find no way to process the information and figure out what to do about it—and for the excellent reason that it is not a problem with a direct solution. It is more a condition without a remedy. If the major shipping ports […] end up being submerged, humankind will just have to work around it. The disruptions to world trade might be epochal, gigantic, […] [and] tragic. It seems obvious that […] human[s] […] will simply have to adjust, even if that means adjusting to a new reality of severely lower expectations in living standards, comfort, and amenity. […] When the time comes, […] [we] will just have to move to higher ground. 
** Chapter 5, p. 162.

* Harvard biologist [[w:E. O. Wilson|Edward O. Wilson]] warns that [[China]]'s current program to mitigate huge population increases with gigantic water projects may have dire consequences. Irrigation and other withdrawals have already depleted the {{w|Yellow River}}, which, starting in 1972, has run bone-dry part of the year in {{w|Shandong}} province, where one-fifth of China's wheat and one-seventh of its corn is produced. In 1997, the river stopped flowing for a record 226 days. The groundwater levels of the northern China plains have plummeted. The water table in major grain-producing areas is falling at the rate of five feet a year. Of China's 617 cities, three hundred already face water shortages. Of China's approximately 23,000 miles of major rivers, 80 percent no longer support fish life. The [[w:Xiaolangdi Dam|Xiaolangdi dam project]] now underway along the Yellow River in north China is exceeded in size only by the {{w|Three Gorges Dam}} on the {{w|Yangtze}} in South China. In addition, the Chinese government intends to siphon water from the Yangtze […] and send it over by a canal system to the Yellow River and Beijing, respectively. When it is running, the Yellow River is already one of the most particle-laden in the world. Because of that, it is estimated that the Xiaolangdi dam would silt up within thirty years of completion. The […] project is reminiscent of another centrally planned mega-project that ended in grief: the [[Soviet Union]]'s scheme to drain the {{w|Aral Sea}} to irrigate gigantic cotton farms in [[Kazakhstan]]. The project turned one of the world's largest inland bodies of fresh water into [a] salty desert. The potential for calamity in China is therefore huge as it skirts a range of forces presented by the Long Emergency, any one of which, or some combination, could send it reeling over its tipping point: the effects of global climate change, competition for [every resource including] oil, extremes of pollution, disease, and war, either with its neighbors or internally. Despite the current veneer of prosperity and stability, China has tremendous potential for political chaos. As Wilson fearlessly points out, the pressure on China's agriculture and water resources is intensified by the predicament shared by many countries: runaway population growth [caused by industrialization]. '''Population growth rates may be mitigated […] from culture to culture by economic advance (which tends to lower reproductive rates by channeling women into the workplace), but economic development produces other [[w:Jevons paradox|not-so-benign consequences]].''' Developing [systems like] nation[-state]s invariably increase their energy use [as they grow complex]. More cars are used, more electricity [is] generated, [and] more greenhouse emissions [are] sent into the atmosphere. In the Long Emergency, […] “there will only be two types of nations: the over-developed and those which will never develop.” China may represent an amalgamation of those two conditions in one nation-state.
** Chapter 5, p. 163–164.

* Like China, the United States is divided […] in half between wet and dry. Though the human population of the United States is proportionately much smaller than China's, the amount of effort America has expended on manipulating habitats and altering terrain is as impressive in its own way as China's birthrate. Especially significant is the stupendous amount of paving laid down in the United States during the past hundred years. It prevents rain from being absorbed as groundwater and sends it instead into rivers, and […] into the ocean. The effect of this is the inability of water tables and wetlands to recharge and the diminishing ability of the terrain to support life. In the United States, only 2 percent of the country's rivers and wetlands remain free-flowing and undeveloped. As a result, the country has lost more than half of its wetlands.
** Chapter 5, p. 165.

* '''Climate change, competition for water, and polluted water sources will also be exacerbated by failures in the electric grid caused by oil and gas supply disruptions.''' Even if water is available, localities may lack the power to push it through their treatment plants and municipal pipes.
** Chapter 5, p. 166. 

* Fifty years of easy living with the miracle of antibiotics was a major contributor to the hubris that gripped the industrial nations in the early twenty-first century. Smallpox was eliminated except in strategic laboratory samples. Measles was conquered. Sexually transmitted diseases that used to leave people maimed and crazy were cured with one visit to the doctor. Many tropical diseases seemed to be on the wane as immunology and pharmacology bolstered widespread progress in sanitation and nutrition. The vanquishing of disease represented a [...] meta-victory by [hu]mankind over a much greater set of enemies than the parochial combatants of our geopolitical wars. Indeed, these great advances of medical science against disease took place against the backdrop of war. The United States emerged victorious from [[w:World War II|the last [...] world war]], having defeated manifest political evil, armed with penicillin and sulfa drugs. The postwar antibiotic miracle contributed to a false sense of security in the public and a sense of [...] omnipotence [...].
** Chapter 5, p. 167.

* '''As the struggle over the remaining oil and gas intensifies, larger numbers of economic losers will be created''', and those economic losers will be underfed, ill-housed, poorly doctored, badly informed, badly behaved, and subject to plummeting life expectancies.
** Chapter 5, p. 170.

* Despite miraculous advances in medical technology, genetic typing, and immunology, [...] [we] are not much better prepared for a severe flu epidemic than they were for [[w:Spanish flu|the 1918 outbreak]]. Epidemic influenza is extremely difficult to counteract. Flu vaccines developed in any given year are notoriously ineffective against new strains that come along the following year. It takes seven months or more to create, test, manufacture, and distribute a vaccine developed in direct response to a new virus, and by that time the disease can burn through global populations. '''If a pandemic broke out today, hospital facilities would be overwhelmed. Nurses and doctors would be infected along with the rest of the population.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 173.

* {{w|Operation Dark Winter}} employed a cast of volunteers […] to act out roles following a script in which a terrorist released smallpox in one eastern U.S. city. The result was sobering to an extreme. The public health system virtually collapsed. Hospitals degenerated into chaos. Smallpox spread to twenty-five states and overseas. The national stockpile of vaccines proved to be deeply inadequate. The exercise was called off after four days from the sheer exhaustion of the participants, while the fictional epidemic was still spreading. 
** Chapter 5, p. 176.

* The [[w:Germ theory of disease|germ theory]], which emerged in the late nineteenth century, focused the world's attention on the specific agents responsible for [...] diseases, but the [physical,] social and ecological contexts are equally important, and these are now coming more prominently into play with world population well beyond the limits of the earth's [sic] [...] [optimum] carrying capacity and with climate change [...] in progress. [...] Ecological [...] [pressures], rapid changes in land use, penetration of formerly inaccessible habitats, and disturbed migration routes can lead to the appearance or diffusion of a disease. While we may be able to identify [some, if not all] the microorganisms involved, we can be helpless in the face of it, and our behavior may still promote its spread.
** Chapter 5, p. 177.

* [...] The disturbance of global oil markets as the permanent energy crisis begins is liable to interrupt global commerce and global travel. Fewer […] will fly [...]. However, these same energy problems will surely reduce crop production, which would lead to reduced food aid to desperate populations [...], which would then lead to compromised immune systems and the [...] [invasion] of poor, hungry, and [...] unhealthy people [...]. This is an obvious recipe for conflict and woe. Where the refugee camps [are] set up, [the] disease will surely follow.
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* '''The attrition of global populations by disease[s] may be unavoidable.''' Some [...] may regard it as the inevitable revenge of nature against the hubris of a human species arrogantly exceeding the carrying capacity of its habitat. Some may regard it as a moral victory against wickedness. Some may view it in the therapeutic mode as a positive development for the health of the planet. Many self-conscious &quot;humanists&quot; have militated for the goal of reducing population growth —though most of them would have [...] preferred widespread birth control [using contraceptive methods like the birth pill and condoms, ironically made from cheap oil] to a die-off. But that kind of thinking might have been just another product of the narcotic comfort of cheap oil, as merely stabilizing the earth’s population at current levels (or even 1968 levels) would arguably still have left humanity beyond the earth’s carrying capacity. Apart from these issues of attitude and ethics, however, '''a major decline in world population, or change in demographic profiles, is apt to have profound and strange repercussions on everyday life.'''
** Chapter 5, p. 178.

* A contemplation of these circumstances that occurred seven hundred years ago gives us an idea of what to expect in the Long Emergency. One big difference is that now we can see it coming. However, we [...] flatter ourselves to think that we are above this kind of general catastrophe—because our [...] prowess during the [...] [industrial age] was so marvelous that all future problems are (supposedly) guaranteed to be solved by similar applications of ingenuity. This was certainly the consensus among the scientists, computer geniuses, and biotech millionaires [...]. They were uniformly uninterested in the issues of the global oil peak and natural gas depletion and utterly convinced that the industrial societies would be rescued by hydrogen, wind power, and solar electricity, all to be figured out by their cohort techno-geniuses in [...] time. If there is anything we have been stupendously bad at in the preceding century of wonders, it is recognizing the diminishing returns of our [...] [technological] prowess. Some of our greatest achievements, [...] have produced dreadful diminishing returns [...]. This persistent failure or weakness [...] negates the value of our ability to see what's coming. [...] Rather than [...] progress, we are more likely to see [...] the loss of information, ability, and confidence. 
** Chapter 5, p. 181.

* Many individual immune systems will be compromised by the hardships of the Long Emergency and disease will seize the opportunities presented, as it always has. AIDS ought to be especially worrisome, because even when people have lost everything, they still have sex. That may be all many people will have, and it will get them in a lot of trouble. Besides, as already suggested, the resourceful HIV bug may find an even more efficient means of transmission through countless random acts of mutation. Millions [and perhaps billions] of human beings are going to die. […] The attrition is apt to continue for much longer than the Black Death raged in the Europe of the fourteenth century, because under the regime of cheap oil the carrying capacity. of our earthly habitats was exceeded by orders of magnitude, and we have farther to go to return to the solar carrying capacity-of our home places. Some home places, such as the deserts of Arabia and the American West, will support only minuscule numbers of people without the benefits of fossil fuels. Of course, there will be no compensations for the loss of those nonrenewable resources. Also, because of the probable human contribution to global warming, this climate change might well be much more severe and longer-lasting than the blip of the early 1300s, or even the Little Ice Age of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
** Chapter 5, p. 182.

* '''As hunger and hardship increase, the world may see more than one wave of more than one disease.''' If and when an influenza pandemic emerges, for instance, many AIDS sufferers will succumb, but people infected with the AIDS precursor, HIV, will still survive influenza and AIDS will march on. [[India]], for example, was among the hardest-hit nations in the 1918 flu pandemic. Today it has among the highest rates of AIDS infection. The age-old human enemies, tuberculosis, malaria, cholera, streptococcus, and other members of the familiar gang will be on hand with new immunity to the old techno-tricks of the [nineteenth and] twentieth centur[ies]. Even after these diseases may have spent themselves for a while, climate change will still be with us [which in turn could create new diseases]. Nobody really knows where that is taking us, though we do know that the human race has endured more than one ice age in the past.
** Chapter 5, p. 182–183.

* The current urban population of the world […] is greater than the entire population of the world in 1960. Seventy-eight percent of the urban dwellers in the so-called developing world live in slums. From the West African littoral to the mountainsides of the {{w|Andes}} to the banks of the {{w|Nile}}, the {{w|Ganges}}, the {{w|Mekong}}, and the {{w|Irrawaddy}}, new gigantic slums spread like immense laboratory growth media, waiting to host epidemic disease cultures. {{w|Lagos}}, [[Nigeria]], for example, grew from a city of 300,000 in 1950 to over ten million today. But Lagos, writes [[w:Mike Davis (scholar)|Mike Davis]], &quot;is simply the biggest node in the shanty-town corridor of 70 million people that stretches from {{w|Abidjan}} to {{w|Ibadan}}: probably the biggest continuous footprint of urban poverty on earth.&quot; Most of the world's new, exploding slums have only the most rudimentary sanitary arrangements, open sewers running along the corridor-like &quot;streets.&quot; In the slums of Bombay, there is an estimated one toilet per five hundred inhabitants. Currently, two million children die every year from waste-contaminated water in the world's slums. The enormity of this urban disaster is poorly comprehended in advanced nations like the United States, where the drinking water is still safe and even the poor have flush toilets connected to real sewers. But '''the slums of the world will […] be the breeding ground of the next pandemic''', and chances are, once it is underway, the wealthy nations will not be spared. 
** Chapter 5, p. 183.

* The entropic mess that our economy has become is the final blowoff of […] industrialism. The destructive practices known as &quot;free-market globalism&quot; were engendered by our run-up to and arrival at the world oil production peak. It was the logical climax of the oil &quot;story.&quot; It required the breakdown of all previous constraints […] to maximize the present at the expense of the future and to do so for the benefit of a very few at the expense of the many. […] Free-market globalism became the reigning orthodoxy […], challenged only by cranks wearing nose-rings at the very margins of society. '''The moment that the world recognizes the passing of the oil production peak as a reality, globalism will be dead both in theory and practice.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 185.

* '''Globalism was operated by oligarchical corporations on the gigantic scale, made possible by cheap oil. By “oligarchical” I mean that power was vested in small numbers of people running large organizations who were not accountable for their actions to many of the people who were subject to those actions. By “corporation,” I mean a group enterprise given the legal status of a “person,” with “rights,” but in fact devoid of any human qualities of ethics, humility, mercy, duty, or loyalty that would constrain those rights.''' As Wendell Berry put it, “a corporation […] is a pile of money to which a number of persons have sold their moral allegiance… It can experience no personal hope or remorse. No change of heart. It cannot humble itself. It goes about its business as if it were immortal, with the single purpose of becoming a bigger pile of money.
** Chapter 6, p. 186.

* '''The free-market part of the equation referred to the putative benefit of unrestrained economic competition between individuals, and because corporations enjoyed the legal status of persons, they were assumed to be on an equal footing with other persons in a given locality.''' Thus, Wal-Mart was considered the theoretical equal of Bob the appliance store owner, and if Bob happened to lose in the retail competition because he couldn't order 50,000 coffeemakers at a crack from a factory 12,000 miles away in {{w|Hangzhou}}, and receive a deep discount for being such an important customer, well, it wasn't as though he hadn't been given the chance.
** Chapter 6, p. 187.

* '''Cheap oil had allowed populations to explode in precisely those parts of the world that had had, for millennia, a high infant mortality rate and modest life expectancy.''' Cheap oil was behind the &quot;{{w|green revolution}}&quot; that increased the food supply in the nonindustrial world. Oil was also behind many of the medicines and preventives that had neutralized […] diseases. Now, suddenly, most of those children […] survived, grew up and produced more children who survived and grew up, and over the course of the twentieth century, the global populations hurtled into extreme numerical overshoot. Populations were, in effect, eating oil, notably in food exports from the United States, where agribusiness had completely taken over from agriculture. Local farmers in Africa, Asia, or South America couldn’t compete with corporate [[w:ADM (company)|Archer Daniels Midland]]’s oil-and-gas-based grain crops and U.S. government subsidies. There was no point in even bringing their hardscrabble crops to market when sacks of cheap American wheat sat on the docks of [[w:Busan|Pusan]] or [[Colombo]]. Farmers in those places felt that they had no choice but to migrate to the city and find some other way to get by. The only comparative advantage that these people possessed was their willingness to work for next to nothing. '''Cheap oil and free-market globalism turned comparative advantage into a new kind of feudalism, with the corporations as the lords and the overabundant locals as the serfs.''' And then, when the comparative advantage of cheap labor […] of one place, […] was superseded by the cheaper labor […] of another place, […] the corporations just moved their operations.
** Chapter 6, p. 187–188.

* The idea of comparative advantage works when there is a complex local economy intact in the background of each trading partner’s specialized item of production, with a variety of social roles and occupational niches to support the long-term project of community. But a locality geared to doing only one thing for export is […] a slave system based on the extractive economics of mining. […] One group had all the cheap labor, and another group had all the capital, and for a while, one group made all the things that the other group “consumed.” Thus, comparative advantage became, for a time, a con game strictly for the benefit of large corporations, which ended up enjoying all the advantages while the localities sucked up the costs.
** Chapter 6, p. 188.

* The corporations benefiting from this regime often had no physical home of their own, even in their country of origin—and not a few American corporations had moved their official address to [[w:Tax haven|Caribbean pseudo nations]], where the banking and tax laws were more agreeable. The corporations had no allegiance to any […] place or the people of that place, so the destruction they wreaked was as manifest in the ravaged towns of [[Ohio]] and upstate [[New York City|New York]] as in the environmental degradation of [[China]]. America was hardly immune to the consequences of free-market globalism. In effect, the American heartland was overtaken by a new […] corporate colonialism, emanating from our own culture, but no less destructive than the imposition of foreign rule.
** Chapter 6, p. 188–189.

* Did Americans sell out their towns, their neighbors, the memory of their ancestors, and the future of their grandchildren because they were helplessly in thrall to the blandishments of a cheap-oil economy? I honestly don’t know, though I tend to view the outcome as the result of many collective bad choices made by the public and its leaders. But were those choices inescapable? Certainly, the process was insidious and played out over several generations. 
** Chapter 6, p. 189-190.

* '''Inefficient economies are much more complex than efficient ones. Complexity itself can be deceiving. […] Complexity constrains entropy flows with checks and balances. What we take to be man-made artificial complexity (technology) is, paradoxically, a simplification process that increases flows by editing away inefficiencies.''' The ecology of a prairie will keep the soil active and healthy indefinitely, while the ecology of a fossil-fuel-subsidized cornfield will leach the soil of useful nutrients and physically erode it in less than a human lifetime. The ecology of a pond, with its diverse hierarchies of life and multitude of biological niches and food chains, is much more complex than the Crown Point, New York, trout hatchery with its monoculture offish, its inputs of manufactured fish food, and its staff of attendants cleaning waste out of the cement hatchery impoundments. The natural pond also has more chance of continuing indefinitely into the future. The built-in constraints of inefficient biogenic economies reduce the flow of potential, often to the point where systems based on inefficient economies last for geologic epochs, not just a few decades in the case of a fish hatchery. Everything that we identify with nature takes the form of inefficient systems. Biogenic or living systems are self-stabilizing. They are self-buffered. Small differences are dampened out. Entropy is stalled within them. They exhibit negative feedback tending toward long-term stability. Call this condition &quot;negative entropy.&quot; Everything we identify with the man-made substitutes for natural bio-economies, that is, technologies, tends toward positive feedback, which is self-amplifying, self-reinforcing, and destabilizing, featuring the removal of constraints to entropy flows and leading to the certain eventual destruction of that system. Call this condition &quot;positive entropy.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 191-192.

* There have to be limits. If we project “housing starts” ninety-nine years forward at current rates, there wouldn’t be a single build-able quarter-acre lot left in the world. Not a few economists would rationalize this outcome by declaring that ninety-nine years from now we will have colonies on the [[moon]] or [[Mars]] or under the {{w|Sea of Cortez}}. Or that technology coupled with human ingenuity will solve the problem some other way, […] by genetically reengineering human beings to be one inch tall or booting all our consciousnesses into computer servers where unlimited numbers of virtual people could dwell in unlimited virtual environments of endless cyberspace.&lt;br&gt;More likely, we will remain confined to the planet Earth. Economic growth that has appeared normative and desirable during the story of industrialism is already becoming pathogenic in an economy showing more and more signs of positive feedback and accelerating positive entropy manifesting as damage to the biosphere. High entropy becomes particularly problematic in an economy utterly dependent on a few very special commodities: oil, natural gas, coal, and uranium. It becomes especially relevant when the limits to those commodities become tangible, as is now the case as we approach the global oil production peak and the actual depletion (thirty years past peak) of the North American natural gas endowment. But the collective imagination of the public cannot process the notion of a nongrowth economy, even though the limits to growth are visible all around us in everything from the paved-over suburban landscapes, to the steeply rising gas prices, to played-out aquifers, to the death of the Atlantic cod fishery. '''We are not capable of conceiving another economic way. We are hostages to our own system.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 192-193.

* It is assumed now that human beings, prompted by the market, will employ ingenuity to discover a substitute for oil and gas, once the price starts to ramp up beyond the “affordable” range. This assumption is apt to prove fallacious because it ignores the fact that the earth is a closed system, while the laws of thermodynamics state that '''energy can’t be created out of nothing''', only changed from low entropy to high entropy, and that '''we have already changed the half [or perhaps a fraction] of our [planet's] oil endowment that was easiest to get into dispersed carbon dioxide, which is now ratcheting up global warming and climate change, which might well put the industrial adventure out of business before human ingenuity can come up with a substitute for oil.''' The solar energy stored for millions of years in oil will now be expressed in higher temperatures, more severe storms, rising sea levels, and harsher conditions for the human species, which, despite its […] technological achievements, remains a part of nature and subject to its laws.
** Chapter 6, p. 194.

* […] The […] oil-fueled boom that energized the suburban expansion of the 1920s brought turmoil and trouble to the farm economy. Thirty percent of the U.S. population still lived on farms in the 1920s. U.S. farmers had done well during World War I, exporting grain to a Europe that had become a shell-blasted battlefield. By the early 1920s, though, Europeans were able to feed themselves again. Meanwhile, the introduction of the tractor and the mechanization of farming in the United States led quickly to massive overproduction of grain. Unable any longer to pawn off the surplus on Europe, America suffered a crash in grain prices. '''The farm depression, which preceded the financial depression by half a decade, was a self-reinforcing feedback loop. As the market prices of corn and wheat plunged, farmers desperately tried to make up for low prices by producing more, which the domestic markets could not absorb, leading to even greater surpluses and more depressed prices.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 204.

* By the mid-1920s, the great wave of immigration suddenly ended. The [[w:Immigration Act of 1924|National Origins Act of 1924]] and other measures set new highly restrictive immigration quotas that cut new admissions to 2 percent of each nationality from the 1890 census. This choked off what had been a constant half-century-long demographic subsidy of ever more customers for U.S. manufacturers.
** Chapter 6, p. 205.

* Finance came to be viewed as a productive activity itself rather than a means to promote production. The public was no longer buying stock to invest in enterprises that would pay dividends over time, but merely because one could get rich from buying and selling stocks. As more people bought in, stock prices climbed still higher—a dangerous positive feedback loop.
** Chapter 6, p. 205-206.

* [...] The human race living off the &quot;drawdown&quot; of nonrenewable fossil fuel resources is the equivalent of the algae [...] enjoying a temporary rush of nutrients [...].
** Chapter 6, p. 208.

* Is it fair to say that the by-product of zealous oil use literally converts into such an abstract form of &quot;pollution&quot; capable of poisoning what amounts to a social consensus? This must return us to the idea of entropy. Entropy is the spending down of energy and its translation into negative by-products. Not all of them are physical or material. Air pollution is one expression of entropy. But so is social disorder. So is [the] institutional breakdown. Bodily death is another. These negative by-products of entropy can become interchangeable as entropy progresses, depending on any combination of variable conditions and circumstances. A careful reading of twentieth-century history would bear this out. In the modern era, entropy has been expressed in conditions as seemingly unrelated as war, industrial pollution, pornography, mass political murder, the shattering of a consensus about the value of money, and incompetent parenting. The introduction of high entropy into a given system is profoundly destabilizing in many ways. Entropy […] moves in mysterious ways.
** Chapter 6, p. 209.

* The entropy produced in [[World War II]] was much more widespread and profound than that of World War I. In [[World War I]] the action had taken place […] entirely on rural terrain, classic battlefields. In World War II, much of the warfare was urban. The long-range bomber had reached a high stage of refinement in the twenty-plus years between world wars. None of the major capitals had been damaged in World War I. In World War II, hundreds of towns and cities were destroyed in Europe and Asia. Berlin was reduced to gravel; London was badly mutilated; and, of course, Hiroshima and Nagasaki became radioactive ashtrays. The casualties of World War I had been enormous, astonishing, [and] appalling beyond civilized peoples’ wildest dreams, but the victims had been overwhelmingly soldiers. The casualties in World War II were overwhelmingly civilians and in much greater aggregate numbers.
** Chapter 6, p. 212–213.

* '''[[American Dream|American life]], with its twin engines of suburbanization and factory production of consumer goods for the […] world, became so quickly and obviously successful''' that a new consensus formed supporting the value of the dollar and its paper accessories in capital markets, chiefly stocks, and bonds. This is not to say that the securities markets boomed in the 1950s and 1960s —it took until then just to recover the value levels of the pre-1929 crash —but stocks and bonds did regain respectability, [and] legitimacy. Those who had lived through the Great Depression, meaning virtually all the men who had served in the wartime army, had very modest expectations about the role of finance in the postwar economy. In the 1950s and 1960s, Americans bought stocks for the annual dividends they paid, not to flip them for a quick profit. In fact, share prices remained […] very flat during this period. The whole notion of investment was different than it would become later in the twentieth century. In the 1950s and 1960s, stock and bond values were linked much more directly with the successful production of real goods. General Motors derived its profits and paid its dividends on the basis of auto sales, not as today, primarily from leveraging interest rates and other abstract numbers' games removed from the actual making of products. In sum, the public attitude about the role of finance was extremely conservative. Finance was not an “industry” per se, but a set of institutions designed to keep the idea of money and its accessories credible, […] to allow real industries to function.
** Chapter 6, p. 215.

* Banking also regained respectability after the calamities of the 1930s. Federal deposit insurance, which had been instituted in the depths of the Great Depression, and only for deposits under $2,500, was raised to $10,000 in 1950, and the middle class was induced to feel confident about keeping its money in banks again. Interest rates remained modest, but so did inflation. The influx of savings made money available in capital markets to invest in new ventures. It was real money derived from work already done, pay already earned, true capital. Before the great orgy of mergers and consolidation that began in the 1970s, retail banking was […] local and community-centered. Bankers made loan decisions based on firsthand knowledge of projects going on in their communities—not, as today, based on bundling and selling clumps of mortgages for generic suburban developments they have never laid eyes on.
** Chapter 6, p. 216.

* The rebellion of the [[Hippie|hippie]]s […] based itself on the notion that abundance was a natural entitlement, and one could &quot;drop out&quot; of an insecure, deadly, and frightening industrial culture to live off the fat of the land. It was inescapably a jejune philosophy, fraught with contradictions. For the hippies, the natural order of things included items such as stereo record players, electric guitars, motor vehicles for adventuring around the country, cheap bulk whole grains, and other products of an oil-intensive industrial way of life. '''The hippie platform […] with all its mystical incunabula, rested on the platform of “normal” [[American Dream|American life]] and would have been impossible without it.'''
** Chapter 6, p. 217.

* At the start of the [[w:1980s oil glut|oil glut]], a climactic set of economic relations took shape led by Prime Minister [[Margaret Thatcher]] (and joined eagerly by President Reagan and his advisors) that would be called “globalism.” It was not so much a new idea as the logical and inevitable result of mature self-organizing systems elaborating themselves under the influence of renewed, immense energy inputs—the ultimate cheap-oil way of doing business in the closed system that is the planet [[Earth]]. It entailed the maximization of short-term profit and the minimization of care for future generations. It was the ultimate generator of entropy.
** Chapter 6, p. 219.

* In America, globalism meant the accelerated dismantling of the nation's manufacturing base and its reassignment to other countries where labor was dirt cheap and environmental regulations did not apply. It also meant the ramping up of a “service economy” or, more properly, the myth of a service economy to replace the old manufacturing economy. […] It was […] absurd. It was like the old joke about the village that prospered because the inhabitants were all employed taking in each other’s laundry. In fact, far fewer actual things of value were being created in the service economy. […] It was assumed, for instance, that computers […] boosted productivity. Much of that gain was either illusory or fraught with collateral social and economic losses of other kinds. Companies that reported higher productivity were shedding employees like mad and the entire ethos of work in America was being transformed from one of [the] people having secure careers and permanent positions with reliable companies to one of institutionalized insecurity for […] everyone below top management in a new general atmosphere of Darwinian corporate ruthlessness—under the rubric of &quot;free-market competition.&quot;
** Chapter 6, p. 220.

* '''What one also saw in the America of the 1980s and 1990s was commoditization and conversion of public goods into private luxuries, the impoverishment of the civic realm, and, to put it bluntly, the rape of the landscape—a vast entropic enterprise that was the culminating phase of suburbia.''' The dirty secret of the American economy in the 1990s was that it was no longer about anything except the creation of suburban sprawl and the furnishing, accessorizing, and financing of it. It resembled the efficiency of cancer. Nothing else really mattered except building suburban houses, trading away the mortgages, selling the multiple cars needed by the inhabitants, upgrading the roads into commercial strip highways with all the necessary shopping infrastructure, and moving vast supplies of merchandise made in China for next to nothing to fill up those houses. The economy of suburban sprawl was a systemic self-organizing response to the availability of inordinately cheap oil with ever-increasing entropy expressed in an ever-increasing variety of manifestations from the destruction of farmland to the decay of the cities, to widespread psychological depression, to the rash of school shooting sprees, to epidemic obesity. Americans didn’t question the validity of the suburban sprawl economy. They accepted it at face value as the obvious logical outcome of their hopes and dreams and defended it viciously against criticism. They steadfastly ignored its salient characteristic: that it had no future either as an economy or as a living arrangement. Each further elaboration of the suburban system made it less likely to survive any change in conditions, most particularly any change in the equations of cheap oil. It wasn't until the traumas of the 1970s that the finance sector mutated from being an adjunct of the industrial economy to becoming an “industry” in its own right helping to “drive” the economy. '''Among the distortions and perversions engendered by the “stagflation” economy was the rise of corporate cannibalism in the form of “creative” mergers and acquisitions, specifically hostile takeovers, the aggressive use of voting stock shares to gain control of companies that did not wish to sell, with the subsequent filleting and sell-off of assets, and discarding of the bones and offal (employee payrolls and obligations, careers, livelihoods, communities).'''
** Chapter 6, p. 222–223.

* In the face of the things like the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com meltdown}}, the {{w|LTCM}} scare, the {{w|Enron scandal}}, and other disasters that eroded the notional value of financial paper, homeownership itself was now turned into a magical generator of unearned riches for both borrowers and lenders. It was consistent with the [[Las Vegas]]-ization of the national moral sense, chiefly the increasingly popular belief at every level of American life that it really was possible to get something for nothing. Anyone could see this in the easy public acceptance of gambling as okay and the proliferation of casinos everywhere in the land. Not even the evangelical Christians seemed to mind. There is no such thing as intrinsic value in a house. A huge percentage of the public has now put its net worth into something that […] isn't an investment. Apart from false econometrics of rising house valuations and the leverage that affords for raising cash within the context of the current lending rackets, a house is much more of a consumer product than an investment, especially the kind of houses built in recent decades in America, namely stapled-together boxes made of particle board and plastic cladding that require continual reinvestment in petty cash and labor for upkeep, and will probably not hold their value, even if well cared for, because of poor locational choices. A house on a one-acre lot in a subdivision in {{w|Loudoun County, Virginia}}, thirty-two miles from downtown [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], […] a magnificent thing to behold today, with a soaring lawyer-foyer entrance, a restaurant-grade kitchen, and an inground pool out back. But if there is less gasoline to power up the fleet of cars necessary to service it, and no natural gas to heat the thousand-square-foot cathedral-ceilinged lawyer foyer, then chances are that the house is going to be a liability rather than an asset.
** Chapter 6, p. 229.

* The supernaturally low-interest rates provoked an orgy of buying and the orgy of buying bid up the prices of the houses, and as the prices of the houses levitated, the owners entered another new and strange zone of hallucinated wealth accumulation using the latest contrivance: the refinanced mortgage. Re-fi's allowed house owners to use their houses as though they were automatic teller machines. Say a person bought a house in 1999 for $250,000 and the house was appraised in 2003 at $400,000; that person could refinance with a substantial &quot;cash out&quot; privilege, converting the imagined increase of value into disposable income, which could then be used to buy motorboats, home theater plasma TV screens, or trips to Las Vegas. Refinancing prestidigitated an estimated $1.6 trillion for the American economy over a five-year period, and much of that &quot;money&quot; was deployed purchasing &quot;consumer&quot; goods—mostly made outside the United States. From 1999 to 2004 […] a third of all house owners indulged in cash-out re-fi mortgages. […] Behind every extravagant cash extraction lay the belief that at some future date the house would be worth a lot more than the re-fi price and could be readily flipped.
** Chapter 6, p. 231.

* After the mid-1990s, there was hardly a technical distinction to be made anymore between high-risk borrowers and everybody else in the casino atmosphere of [North] America[n] society. No one was at risk anymore because in the something-for-nothing economy it was impossible to be a loser. Or so went the herd thinking. […] It is […] likely that the housing bubble will have begun to come to grief.
** Chapter 6, p. 232.

* The failure of the [[w:Government-sponsored enterprise|GSE]]s would make the [[w:Savings and loan crisis|S&amp;L fiasco of the 1980s]] look like a bad night of poker. The failure of the GSEs would pose a far graver situation than the [[w:Long-Term Capital Management|LTCM]] flameout. It could easily bring on cascading failures that might jeopardize global finance. This time, the […] public would feel the pain.
** Chapter 6, p. 233.

* If the folks who lived along this highway put in gardens to make up for the escalating inadequacies of an industrial farming system starved for fossil fuel “inputs,” would they be able to feed themselves? '''Did any vernacular knowledge survive in a populace conditioned to think that food came from the supermarket? Did they know anything about cabbage loopers, powdery mildew, or anthracnose? Would they be able to prevent catastrophic crop loss? How would they defend their crops against deer, rabbits, [and] woodchucks? Would any of them know how to build a garden wall or even a fence? Where would they get fencing material? Would they have to sit out among the potato hills and the bean rows at night with loaded shotguns? And what would they do for light when they heard something munching out there? Would they know how to keep chicken, sheep, [and] cattle, including breeding and birthing them?'''
** Chapter 7, p. 237.

* Because […] systems are self-organizing in the face of circumstance, the big questions are '''how much disorder must we endure as things change, and how hard will we struggle to continue a particular way of life with no future?''' […] The U.S. economy of the decades to come will center on farming, not high-tech, […] “information,” or “services,” or space travel, […] tourism, or finance. All other activities will be secondary to food production, which will require much more human labor. 
** Chapter 7, p. 239.

* [...] [Everything] [...] tend[s] toward diminishing returns and unsustainability, [...] even in the short term.
** Chapter 7, p. 240.

* A hundred years ago, just before the introduction of the fossil fuel-based technologies, more than 30 percent of the American population was engaged in farming. Now the figure is 1.6 percent. The issue is not moral, academic, or aesthetic. […] It’s a matter of those ratios being made possible only because cheap oil and automation made up for so much human labor.
** Chapter 7, p. 241.

* The energy disruptions of the Long Emergency are going to remind us that the skyscraper was an experimental building form.
** Chapter 7, p. 253.

* The lucky suburbanites will be the ones with the forethought to trade in their suburban McHouses for property in the towns and small cities and prepare for a vocational life doing something useful and practical on the small scale. 
** Chapter 7, p. 256.

* Wal-Mart will not be able to profitably run its “warehouse on wheels” when the price of oil fluctuates chronically. […] We will never again experience the explosion of products, choices, and nonstop marketing that characterized the late twentieth century. The public may look back on the big-box shopping era with deep and mournful nostalgia, but we are apt to discover that happiness is still possible without the extraordinary advertising-driven compulsive materialism of recent decades. '''We will still have commerce. We will have [a] trade. There will be shopping. We will have […] medium of exchange. But we are not going to live in a perpetual blue-light special sale of cornucopian wretched excess.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 257.

* Even if we can’t get all the tools and the products we currently enjoy, we will retain a lot of basic knowledge that the people of Jefferson’s day just didn’t have. For instance, we will still understand that infections and many diseases are caused by microorganisms, not bad air, phases of the moon, or evil spells and that knowledge alone confers powerful advantages in daily living.
** Chapter 7, p. 258.

* '''Large-scale corporate enterprise has brought humankind much material comfort in two centuries but at the price of fantastic unintended consequences (externalized costs) ranging from the destruction of local communities to climate change. Large-scale corporations will be vulnerable to the collapse of capital formation markets that must accompany the end of the cheap oil fiesta. Corporate enterprise can certainly be reorganized on the small, local community scale, but it will not be the same as {{w|General Motors}}. Corporate enterprise in the Long Emergency may revert to being more public in nature and far less sovereign in power.''' There may be one exception: The most visible […] corporate organization that might survive the Long Emergency may be the church. Whether Catholic or Pentecostal or something new we haven't seen yet; the church won't have to rely on oil supplies. Organized religion doesn't have to traffic in awkward material products, only in beliefs, and it can operate at many scales simultaneously. Because American culture is constitutionally allergic to religious governance, we may have problems if churches are the only large organizations left standing—that is, assuming we still have the same constitution.
** Chapter 7, p. 259.

* We should […] conclude that the abandoned big-box structures will not last more than one generation under any circumstances. […] The same thing can be said about malls, strip malls, and chain restaurant buildings. Eventually, they will be the salvage yards and mines of the future.
** Chapter 7, p. 261.

* One final thing worth noting on the subject of rail: From 1890 to about 1920, American localities managed to construct hundreds of local and interurban streetcar lines that added up to a magnificent national system (independent of the national heavy rail system). Except for two twenty-mile gaps in New York state, one could ride the trolley lines from [[New England]] clear out to Wisconsin. The story of the conspiracy by General Motors and other companies to destroy the U.S. interurban system is well documented. The salient point, however, is how rapidly the system was created in the first place, and how marvelously well it served the public in the period before the automobile became established.
** Chapter 7, p. 268-269.

* It's hard to imagine a more purposeless activity than American-style high school in our time. […] The public questions its basic premises or mode of operation any more than the public questions the economy of suburban sprawl. But [the] high school in our time amounts to little more than daycare for virtual adults in which some learning might incidentally take place, much of it of dubious value.
** Chapter 7, p. 271.

* The Southwest also faces increasing friction with adjoining [[Mexico]]. This is not a racist provocation but a description of reality. '''No other first-world country has such an extensive land frontier with a third-world country. The income gap between the United States and Mexico is greater than that between any other two contiguous countries in the world.'''
** Chapter 7, p. 275.

* In any case, it is human nature to consider a place “home” if you were born there, or have family there, or have spent some portion of your life there, and people are naturally reluctant to leave home. I daresay that many Americans now living in the Southwest will not be disposed to understand what is really happening—that the carrying capacity of their home region has been suddenly and drastically reduced—and they will hunker down hoping for a return to better times.
** Chapter 7, p. 279.

* After air conditioning became widely affordable, southerners hardly went outside anymore, unless it was in a motor vehicle. Anything about southern vernacular architecture that once had been graceful in adapting to the climate was cast aside for the pleasures of air conditioning and cheapness of construction.
** Chapter 7, p. 283.

* The Long Emergency will cause unprecedented social and economic dislocation, and the outcome may be a world we would barely recognize. The [...] egalitarian society we knew in the [...] twentieth century may become drastically more hierarchical as large numbers of desperate people place themselves in the service of those who control land, especially following a period of anarchy. Under such harsh conditions, the weaker individuals will sell their allegiance in return for security.
** Chapter 7, p. 286–287.

* The gigantic smear of suburbia that runs […] without interruption from north of Boston through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Washington, and northern Virginia is not going to be a happy place.
** Chapter 7, p. 291.

* The circumstances of the Long Emergency will be the opposite of what we currently experience. '''There will be hunger instead of plenty, cold where there was once warmth, effort where there was once leisure, sickness where there was health, and violence where there was peace.''' We will have to adjust our attitudes, values, and ideas to accommodate these new circumstances and we may not recognize the people will soon become or the people we once were. In a world where sheer survival dominates all other concerns, a tragic view of life is apt to reassert itself. This is another way of saying that we will become keenly aware of the limitations of human nature in general and its relation to ubiquitous mortality in particular. Life will get much more real. The dilettantish luxury of relativism will be forgotten in the boneyards of the future. Irony, hipness, cutting-edge coolness will seem either quaint or utterly inexplicable to people struggling to produce enough food to get through the winter. In the Long Emergency, nobody will get anything for nothing.
** Chapter 7, p. 303.

* '''I’m aware of having already lived more than a half-century through the greatest fiesta of luxury, comfort, and leisure that the world has ever known.''' I enjoyed central heating, air conditioning, cheap airfares, cable TV, advanced orthopedic surgery, and computers.
** Chapter 7, p. 304.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.kunstler.com/ James Howard Kunstler home page]
* [http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/ Comment on current events by Jim Kunstler]
* [http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/121 TED Talks: James Howard Kunstler dissects suburbia] at [[Wikipedia:TED (conference)|TED]] in 2004

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kunstler, James Howard}}
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Bloggers from the United States]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Orators from the United States]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:American Jews]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]

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      <text bytes="227774" xml:space="preserve">{{for|the censored version of the same series|Kitchen Nightmares}}
'''''[[w:Kitchen Nightmares|Kitchen Nightmares]]''''' is a reality TV series on [[w:FOX|FOX]] where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] visits failing restaurants across America and tries to help them turn around. It aired its first episode on September 19, 2007.

:'' ''Kitchen Nightmares'' and all related episodes and quotes are a copyright of A. Smith &amp; Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the ''Wikimedia Foundation'' do not claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, ''The Wikimedia Foundation,'' have any affiliation with A. Smith &amp; Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.''

== Season 1 ==

=== Peter's [1.01] ===
:''[Showing Peter and the others the walk-in]''
:'''Gordon: ''' When was the last time you went inside the walk-in fridge?
:'''Peter: ''' I had a hot flash last week.
:'''Gordon: ''' A hot flash?! What does that mean?
:'''Peter: ''' I mean, I was like, hot and I walked in here for a second.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''John: ''' Peter's like one of those guys who eats out a lot, so he &lt;i&gt;assumes&lt;/i&gt; he knows about cooking in restaurants. He has no clue about the kitchen.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Peter: ''' Mom, do me a favor, make me an espresso, please.
:'''Tina: ''' Go and make it yourself!
:'''Peter: ''' ''[To Gordon]'' I just want my mother to get me an espresso, and I’m ready.
:'''Gordon: ''' Espresso?! Bloody hell...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[In the middle of the lunch rush]''
:'''Peter: ''' Can someone get me Tina, please? I need orange juice.
:'''Gordon: ''' You want Tina to stop now and get you a glass of orange juice?!
:'''Peter: '''  Don't I have anybody that can get me orange juice?
:'''Gordon: ''' Peter. Look at me. Fuck yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Day four, 5:30pm, thirty minutes before relaunch]''
:'''Narrator''': With the doors about to open, Gordon gathers the staff for a quick chat.
:'''Gordon''': Right, tonight is a critical, crucial night.
:''[A bill collector appears on the doorstep.]''
:'''Gordon''': Are you with us? Or are you...
:'''Bill collector''': No, I'm just waiting for him (Peter).
:'''Gordon''': Okay, but we're really busy right now.
:'''Narrator''': Once again, Peter's has a bill collector on its doorstep.
:'''Gordon''': (to bill collector) You are interfering, that's what I'm saying. Now get out of the way. Would you mind...
:'''Bill collector''': I'm interfering? You got to wait two minutes. I got to talk.
:'''Gordon''': Get out of the way.
:'''Bill collector''': What?
:'''Gordon''': Why don't you get out of the way so we can go on?
:'''Bill collector''': You get out of the way. Don't worry about it, I'm talking to him.
:'''Gordon''': Why don't you go -- no, get out of the way.
:'''Bill collector''': (points to Peter) I want to talk to you.
:'''Gordon''': I'm saying: Get away.
:'''Peter''': (to bill collector) Hey, who are you talking to? (begins to take off suit jacket)
:'''Bill collector''': I'm talking to you!
:'''Gordon''': (tries to hold Peter back) God almighty! Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax!
:'''Peter''': (unintelligible, overlapping, drops his jacket)
:'''Bill collector''': (unintelligible, overlapping)
:'''Gordon''': Oh, no! Relax, relax, relax, relax!
:'''Bill collector''': (unintelligible)
:'''Peter''': (gets in bill collector's face) Fuck off! Get the fuck out of here! Who the fuck are you?!
:'''Gordon''': (still trying to restrain Peter) Relax! Relax! Dear, oh dear!
:'''Peter''': Who the fuck are you?! Fucking tough guy?!
:'''Gordon''': (turns away for a second) Christ almighty...
:'''Peter''': (unintelligible, chases bill collector outside)
:'''Gordon''': (notices what just happened) Oh, shit... 
''[Outside, Peter and the bill collector's argument continues.]''
:'''Peter''': (trying to instigate a fight) Yeah, tough guy! Come on!
''[The bill collector tries to walk away]''
:'''Peter''': (being restrained by Robert and John) You fake little gangster! Come on! You fake little gangster! I'll hurt you, scumbag! YEAH, TOUGH GUY!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
:'''John''': Stop!
:'''Peter''': (watching the bill collector walk toward his car) COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON! COME ON, YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME?! COME ON, I'LL PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL!! '''YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!''' '''YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!'''
:'''Gordon''': Come out of the way, come out of the way.
:'''Peter''': '''FUCK THIS GUY!!!''' '''FUCK THIS GUY!!''' COME ON, YOU FAKE FUCKING GANGSTER!! YOU FUCKING BLOWJOB!! '''YOU'RE A FUCKING BLOWJOB!!!'''
:'''Yogi ''(Peter's father)''''': Peter, you're embarrassing me.
:'''Peter''': Fuck this guy!!
:'''John''': Peter, Peter, relax.
:'''Gordon''': Relax, relax.
:'''Peter''': Who the fuck is he to come in my fucking place?!?
:'''Gordon''': Relax, relax, relax.
:'''Peter''': (still raging at the now-departing bill collector) Have my fucking cock, you scumbag! Yeah, tough guy! (gets right next to his car and knocks on the window) Right now! Right now! (bill collector drives away anyway)

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[post-dinner meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' This place was a success, and has now pissed through your hands.
:'''Peter:''' Well, it is what—it is what it is.
:'''Gordon:''' You neglected it.
:'''Peter:''' I understand, but right now we’re not in a situation, money-wise, to fix it.
:'''Gordon:''' Well, fuck me; what’s the time? (Peter looks at his watch) What do you think this is? Your fucking little sound to get your massaging—get fed? You’re fucking walking around this place with a bowl of food in your fucking hand, eating away. That’s not how I run my fucking business.
:'''Peter:''' I’m getting a fucking headache.
:'''Gordon:''' I don’t think you’ve seen a day’s work for fucking 20 years.
:'''Peter:''' I-I-I’ve had my own personal problems...
:'''Gordon:''' We all have problems. (points to all the other people and himself) Problem, problem, problem, problem, problem. You’re no different. Let’s start working at the problem.
:'''Peter:''' What’s the problem?
:'''Gordon:''' What’s the problem? YOU. That’s where I’m starting.
:'''Peter:''' Excuse me? (beat) (to the staff) He’s fucking nuts, this guy.
:'''Gordon:''' You’re right; I’m fucking nuts, because you got fuck-all to worry about right now, have you?
:'''Peter:''' Listen to me.
:'''Gordon:''' I’m fucking listening.
:'''Peter:''' Listen to me.
:'''Gordon:''' You sound like you’re at the fucking Godfather.
:'''Peter:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' What the fuck is going on here? You’re the only fuck in here right now that’s not pulling their weight, and that’s not fucking good enough. I think this place would run better without you.

=== Dillon's [1.02] ===
:'''Gordon''': [to the chef]: Pleased to meet you; Gordon. [to Mohammad]: Tell him, in a really nice way: &quot;Your food is shit&quot;.
:'''Mohammad''': ''[Says &quot;your food is shit&quot; in his language]''
:'''Gordon''': Food was bland. Old-fashioned... I've eaten it, I don't feel too good.
:'''Chef''': ''[Says something in his language]''
:'''Mohammad''': Well he said that, uh, that lamb is probably the ''old'' lamb.
:'''Gordon''': You served me old lamb?
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) I'm embarrassed to see... the situation.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''(Day two, 11:55 a.m. - kitchen inspection)''
:'''Narrator''': Having discovered the terrible conditions in the kitchen, Gordon now ventures down to the basement to check out what's lurking below.
:'''Gordon''': What's that smell?
:''(Gordon finds a rat trap)''
:'''Gordon''': What?!! (to Mohammad) What is that? Is that for rats or mice?
:'''Mohammad''': This is food for to catch a rat.
:'''Gordon''': So we ''have'' got rats here.
:'''Mohammad''': Rat is all over the place.
:''(Gordon moves aside a refrigeration unit, then notices droppings underneath the unit)''
:'''Gordon''': That's rat droppings. Look at them all, everywhere.
:'''Mohammad''': Rats.
:'''Gordon''': Rats. Oh my good God.
:''(Gordon notices some cockroaches)''
:'''Gordon''': Look at the cockroaches.
:''(Gordon opens a cardboard box)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God, look. I've got one in my fucking hair, that's cockroaches. The box is full of them.
:''(Gordon opens another cardboard box)''
:'''Gordon''': Look, look at them all.
:''(Gordon opens the refrigeration unit)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God, look. There they are, there in the refrigeration. Oh fucking hell. Oh my God. Oh no. LOOK AT THAT! Oh my God, look at it. (to Mohammad) There you go, there you go.
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) I was shocked. It's like a nightmare.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (finds half a tomato) When's that from? That's been sliced. That's gone out. What is that - where is it - hey madam, where's that tomato gone?
:''(The other half is being served on a dish in the dining room)''
:'''Gordon''': ''(digging through the slugs in the tomato)'' Look! It's fucking rotten, you fucking idiot! IT'S ROTTEEEEEEEEN!! Has a customer just been served a slice of '''''tomato'''''?!!
:'''Server''': No, no, no.
:'''Gordon''': So where is it?!!
:'''Andrew''': (interview) Oh my god.
:''(A customer starts eating the other half of the tomato)''
:'''Martin''': (interview) Things are looking pretty glum.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': No-one is getting served from this fucking restaurant tonight! Let's make that clear! Yes or no? Anyone against that?
:'''Andrew''': No.
:'''Gordon''': No, good.
:'''Martin''': (interview) That didn't go down too well. He was extremely angry and extremely pissed off.
:'''Gordon''': We are not...ever...again serving any of this food. I don't give a fuck what anyone says. Can you go and tell them that the kitchen is closed? Right now! Out there and tell them the truth! Tell them now!
:'''Andrew''': (interview) Gordon was so outraged. So angry. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Gordon''': ''(enraged, he can be heard in the dining room)'' FROM GREEN BURGERS, TO FUCKING FURRY CUCUMBER, TO FUCKING RANCID POTATOES!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': This place can be phenomenal. The location is extraordinary. This is a new start. You have to treat it as a new beginning.
:'''Mohammad''': Exactly. Of course.
:'''Gordon''': I mean, in a perfect world, I would sacrifice one your managers to employ [[w:Vikas Khanna|Vikas (Khanna)]]. You cannot carry driftwood in your business. Out of the three managers (flashes to Martin, Khan, and Andrew), one has to go. (Martin glares at Gordon) Between you and I, Martin has an amazing way of manipulating you. And he is not worth his weight in terms of what he brings to the table.
:'''Martin''': (interview) Hearing Gordon Ramsay say that to Mohammad, that makes me upset and angry. The frustration just boiled over. (approaches Mohammad) Tonight, tonight, Mohammad, I've never used you. I've respected you. I'm proud of what we've done. I've never cheated you. And I take --
:'''Gordon''': What's going on?
:'''Martin''': You're asking... for a manager to leave.
:'''Gordon''': Come on.
:'''Martin''': I've had enough! Because, you have been insulting me? You've accused me of riding on his back!
:'''Gordon''': Did you hear what I just said to him?
:'''Mohammad''': Martin?
:'''Gordon''': So... (to Mohammad) Let him go. Go on. Get it out. Get it off your chest.
:'''Martin''': No, that you...
:'''Gordon''': For the first time since I met you, show me that you're a man.
:'''Martin''': First, you accused me of riding on this man's...
:'''Gordon''': Why are you pointing like that?
:'''Martin''': Because I'm angry, okay? You want to see passion? I'm giving you passion. This person (Muhammad), I've respected. And you have the audacity to accuse of, like, taking his money...
:'''Gordon''': ...riding off his back?
:'''Gordon''': Riding off his back, is what you said. Well, that is disgusting. You don't have the right. You don't know that.
:'''Mohammad''': What about...
:'''Martin''': I have nothing to be guilty of.
:'''Gordon''': You ''what''?
:'''Martin''': ''Nothing!''
:'''Gordon''': You sat in it. (flashback) IT'S ROTTEEEEEEEEN!! (Martin simply looks at) (to Martin) Yeah, you ran it. You sat in it. 
:'''Martin''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': You ''wasted'' it.
:'''Martin''': Yes. I wasted it?
:'''Gordon''': You encouraged it.
:'''Martin''': It was always like, it spiraled...
:'''Gordon''': You let it go to shit.
:'''Martin''': It spiraled out of control. And I asked you to come on board. 
:'''Gordon''': You're feeling guilty. I'm glad.
:'''Martin''': NOT GUILTY!
:'''Gordon''': You're guilty.
:'''Martin''': Mohammad, I'm... NOT GUILTY! I'm not going to take this put-down anymore. I have nothing to be guilty of. Listen, this is my last night.
:'''Gordon''': Who said this was your last night? I'm curious.
:'''Martin''': Yes, this is my last light. This ''is'' my last, tonight!
:'''Gordon''': Please tell the owner, not me.
:'''Martin''': (to Muhammad) This is my last night. I'm out of here. I quit! (walks out)
:'''Gordon''': Jesus Christ.
:'''Mohammad''': (interview) When Martin left, actually, I was shocked. I didn't expect he's going to go dead there.
:'''Martin''': (interview) I think Gordon Ramsay is full of shit. And I'm extremely angry and extremely pissed off. And now, I turn my back and walk away.

=== The Mixing Bowl [1.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time you went to a spa? The gym?
:'''Mike''': ''[Laughs and touches his belly]'' What, are you saying; are you trying to say something?
:'''Gordon''': I'm asking, when was the last time you went to the gym?
:'''Mike''': Oh, not for a long time.
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time you had a salad?
:'''Mike''': ''[Laughing]'' Not for a long time.
:'''Gordon''': Right... ok.
:'''Mike''': If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
:'''Gordon''': Ok, great. ''[To the camera]'': When you look at the way the restaurant's put together, you can identify instantly, from the paper cloths, to the drapes, to the plants, to the ceiling, to the color, that this restaurant ''really is'' on its last legs. There's not long to go here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The New York Dragons were not on the reservation list thanks to Mike]''
:'''Lisa''': (interview) The Dragons were supposed to be on that list and Mike just forgot!
:'''Lisa''': How is that missed? How is that overlooked?
:'''Mike''': Someone-- the Dragons just...
:'''Lisa''': Mike, that's what I'm saying.
:'''Mike''': I'm not sure what transpired.
:'''Lisa''': (interview) It was so upsetting. The was no Dragons on there!
:'''Gordon''': My god. For me, it's the most important table. That's embarrassing.
:'''Lisa''': You're overlooking extremely important things!
:'''Mike''': I was not told about the Dragons. I found out...
:'''Lisa''': Well, why do you keep saying that?
:'''Mike''': (losing it) Because I wasn't!! I wasn't told!!
:'''Lisa''': Excuse me, do not talk to me like that!
:'''Mike''': I was told at 7:00 this morning. THAT IT!!! Seriously, I'm pissed off!! DRAGONS ON THE PAPER!!! I'm pissed off!! Not my fault!! Dragons over here, I put them on at 7:00. COULD WE PLEASE MOVE ON?!!! THAT'S IT!!! NOT MY FAULT!!!

=== Seascape Inn [1.04] ===
:'''Gordon''': ''(after tasting the crab cakes)'' They've got it wrong on the menu. It's not a crab cake. It's a ''crap'' cake. Because if I eat anymore, I'll be busy crapping for the next hundred and five years.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Twice baked potato. Thank fuck I missed that one twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(finding frozen ravioli that he had for lunch)'' Bingo. These were my fresh lobster ravioli. Fresh? My fucking arse. I've eaten this shit!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(finding pesto)'' Oh, fucking hell. So that's the pesto I had for lunch. Just look at the colours in there. Look at that, it's mouldy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': This is ten thousand times worse than I thought it would be.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/:&gt;
:'''Doug''': To have another chef in my face in my kitchen, I’m pissed off coyly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doug''': Gordon Ramsay. He can go off on somebody for absolutely no reason.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charles''': What do you want me to do, stand here and start crying or something?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' This is not a time - hey - to laugh and take a fucking piss out of me. I've eaten this shit. What's going on, Peter?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' You've got the nerves to tell me you clean the walls every fucking Tuesday? Touch - Fuck off, will you? Touch the wall! You dirty pig! (to the others) This is disgusting! I'm closing it down. (to Peter) How many has booked?
:'''Peter''': About twenty.
:'''Gordon''': Twenty - forget it. Get the place steam-cleaned from fucking head to tail. I don't care, but we're not cooking a fucking cookie out of here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I've never done that before, close down a restaurant, but that was a fucking embarrassment. Seascape open? (slams closed sign over open one on sandwich board) Close the fucking place.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Charles''': Fuck that four-star chef bullshit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Peter)'' Your head chef is lazy, dirty, and he shouldn’t be anywhere near a kitchen. He’s destroying your business quicker than you can fucking realise. Couldn’t even be bothered to taste what I’d cooked. In 21 years of cooking, that is a first for me.

=== The Olde Stone Mill [1.05] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Are you chewing gum?
:'''Waiter:''' Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon:''' You are. Is that normal?
:'''Waiter:''' I suppose.
:'''Gordon:''' Really?
:'''Waiter:''' ''[Stares at Gordon for a few seconds before returning to the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon:''' Apart from being slow, the waiter thinks it's normal to chew gum! Hey...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:''[Gordon's chopped salad has been molded into a funnel]''
:'''Gordon:''' Look at that. What's that squashed into? Looks like it's been squashed into an ice cream cone. ''[The waiter hands him the funnel]'' ... Ah, ok, that's it there! Right, that sits on top. Was the chef a mechanic?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Dean:''' I was pissed. Real pissed. I wanted to take the plate and smash it on top of the Chef's head.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' What's this crap here with calamari in a martini glass?
:'''Tom:''' We're just trying to do presentation because the dishes we have suck.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;Suck&quot;?  I can't believe you'd be so fucking polite.

=== Sebastian's [1.06] ===
:'''Sebastian''': Sonja... I want you to plate it to him, and I want you to say: &quot;As Sebastian's mother would say; ''mangia'' (eat)&quot;.
:'''Sonja''': Mangia?
:'''Sebastian''': Yeah.
:'''Sonja''': [as she's placing the dish on Gordon's table]: ...and as Sebastian's mother would say, '''mangia!'''
:'''Gordon''': My God... it's very difficult to ''mangia'' without a knife and fork.
:'''Sonja''': Yes, of course, I'm sorry! I've brought you a clean one.
:'''Gordon''': You've got the part, relax.
:'''Sonja''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': It looks like a can of dog food. What an embarrassment to New York Strip steak. Just chopped and cooked to hell; everything's underseasoned... enough canned pet food for today!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sebastian''': Okay, my pizzas will soon be in supermarkets.
:'''Gordon''': ''What?!''
:'''Sebastian''': I would love to franchise this, and have a &quot;Sebastian's&quot; all over the world.
:'''Gordon''': Oh my god...
:'''Sebastian''': Just think how that sounds. &quot;Sebastian's&quot; all over the world. That makes me excited.
:'''Gordon''': You haven't got fucking one right so far! How the fuck can you think about two? I need some fresh air, the guy's gone!
:''(Sebastian laughs. Cut to Gordon standing in the street outside the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon''': This guy is seriously off his fucking trolley!
:'''Sebastian''': (to the kitchen staff) I just won that one. I won that one.
:'''Gordon''': What on earth is going on in his fucked-up, delusional mind?
:'''Sebastian''': Whoo! I won that one!
:'''Joy''': What happened?
:'''Sebastian''': He was giving me shit. I gave it back to him, and he was like, &quot;Uh, yeah whatever,&quot; and-
:'''Gordon''': (walks back into the restaurant) Sebastian! I just want a little word.
:''[Gordon goes into Sebastian's office, and Sebastian follows him]''
:'''Gordon''': Listen, big boy. Right now, you've won jack fucking shit! You've got the audacity to stand there, talking to me about a franchise, when we can't even get a pizza right?
:'''Sebastian''': (interview) It took everything in me not to just, freak out. (to Gordon) I've been here two years. It may not seem like-
:'''Gordon''': What have you got to show?
:'''Sebastian''': What have I got to show? I'll tell you what I've got to show. Pride! Pride!
:'''Gordon''': You're delusional! You are so-
:'''Sebastian''': That's your opinion, sir. A lot of people feel that way about you!
:'''Gordon''': (points at the dining room) What's successful about out there?
:'''Sebastian''': I'm still here.
:'''Gordon''': That's what makes it successful? You've just answered my question. I'll see you later.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Let's just have a little taste together.
:''[Gordon and Sebastian taste some mashed potatoes. After a few seconds, Gordon spits his out]''
:'''Gordon''': What does that taste like, for you?
:'''Sebastian''': It's not great. It's a little dry.
:'''Gordon''': It's cut the fucking end off, squeeze it into a container, and send it.
:'''Sebastian''': A lot of stuff isn't home-made.
:'''Gordon''': 95% of the stuff is bought-in.
:'''Sebastian''': Uh, okay, I was going to go with 80%.
:'''Gordon''': This shit is the most disgusting fucking bought-in crap I've ever tasted in my entire life.
:'''Sebastian''': It's almost more important for me to let this go out at half its quality, and go out and make sure the guests are happy, and meet the guests, and talk to them.
:'''Gordon''': You're happy to be a fake chef, aren't you?
:'''Sebastian''': No. I don't believe I'm a fake chef. It's a franchisable concept-
:'''Gordon''': Why are you so fucking obsessed with becoming famous with a franchise? Why can't you just have one restaurant, cook your arse off, and get customers in here for the love of what you're doing?
:'''Sebastian''': I was hoping that this would be my launching pad for my name.
:'''Gordon''': How?! ''[points to the pre-made ingredients]'' That's not cooking. If you're convinced in your mind that this is going to work, you're beyond reach, you know that?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (on the over-elaborate menu) You can't push an inherently-faulty concept. That's like shining a turd...absolutely futile.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' When I first arrived here, we got off to a shaky start. Then we kept our heads down and we got through it together.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' And we made some really exciting changes. The menu's changed, the staff have changed.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Mate, there's one thing that hasn't changed in this establishment, and that's you Sebastian. I'm 40 years old, and I have gone a lot of restaurants, but I've never... ever... ever... ''ever'' met someone I believe in as little as you. I think you will go back to your sloppy, shortcut, 5-out-of-10 frozen ways. Good luck. (Sebastian walks back inside) Unbelievable.
:'''Sebastian:''' Un-fucking-believable.
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking useless.
:'''Sebastian:''' You fucking kidding me? Fucking kidding me right now?! (pacing back and forth) This is MY FUCKING LIFE!!
:'''Gordon:''' Oh my God...
:'''Sebastian:''' THIS IS '''MY''' FUCKING LIFE!!!
:'''Andre:''' (interview) Honestly, I haven't seen Sebastian this emotional.
:'''Lou-Bertha:''' (interview) Sebastian just got ''real'' loud. He just changed like Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.
:'''Sebastian:''' (walks toward the back door) ''ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!?''
:'''Gordon:''' That's pissed on his bonfire.
:'''Sebastian:''' (leaving the restaurant) Fucking arrogant! Fuck that motherfucker! (to the production team) We're done! Get the fucking team out of here! (approaches back entrance) Chef Gordon! (breaks the door open) Chef Gordon! Where the fuck are you? Where are you?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm here.
:'''Sebastian:''' You come into my restaurant?
:'''Gordon:''' Yes.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm just so fucking disappointed.
:'''Gordon:''' Wait. Don't shout here. You're going to calm down?
:'''Sebastian:''' Stop pointing your finger at me.
:'''Gordon:''' Are you going to calm down?
:'''Sebastian:''' Are we going to speak like men? You're going to speak to me like a man?
:'''Gordon:''' You didn't listen to what I've told you.
:'''Sebastian:''' You didn't listen to what I'm saying.
:'''Gordon:''' Did you hear what I've just told you?
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm stepping away from you because I don't want to be too close.
:'''Gordon:''' You ungrateful...
:'''Sebastian:''' You have no idea!
:'''Gordon:''' Nasty, vindictive...
:'''Sebastian:''' You have no fucking idea!
:'''Gordon:''' Joker!
:'''Sebastian:''' Well, fuck you! (walks away)
:'''Gordon:''' This is it? (follows Sebastian)
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah, it is it! You're very disappointing!
:'''Gordon:''' That was your second fucking shit performance tonight!
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you fucking kidding me?! Your whole act is a fucking joke!
:'''Gordon:''' Anything else?
:'''Sebastian:''' Your whole act is a fucking joke! You're a phony!
:'''Gordon:''' You shouldn't run like that.
:'''Sebastian:''' Run like what?!
:'''Gordon:''' Am I supposed to be scared now, Sebastian?
:'''Sebastian:''' (makes a &quot;wanker&quot; gesture) Come on, give me a break. I'm busting my ass in there. You tell me...
:'''Gordon:''' You what?!
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you kidding me?! 
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you...
:'''Sebastian:''' Are you kidding me?!
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something...
:'''Sebastian:''' You're telling me nothing! I'm done!
:'''Gordon:''' There you go.
:'''Sebastian:''' Yes. LOSER! (walks away) And I'm telling you one last time. YOU'RE A FUCKING DICKHEAD!

=== Finn McCool's [1.07] ===
:'''Narrator''': After feeling the heat of the firemen, Brian and sous chef Francis get back to work under the watchful eye of Gordon who can't believe what he sees.
:''[Francis drops a chicken wing on the floor while tossing it in the sauce and he picks up and throws it in the fryer]''
:'''Gordon''': Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis. Fuck me, he's deaf as a fucking bat. Francis, you took it off the floor and put it in the fryer and then back in the sauce.
:'''Francis''': Yeah, well the fryer is going to...is going to...take anything that comes off the floor and clean it.
:'''Gordon''': But it fell on the floor.
:'''Francis''': Correct.
:'''Gordon''': Put it back in the fryer.
:'''Francis''': Right into the fryer.
:'''Gordon''': And it cleans it.
:'''Francis''': It cleans it. It sterilizes it.
:'''Gordon''': Sterilises it?
:'''Francis''': Yeah, well...
:'''Gordon''': Fuck me! &quot;Sterilised it&quot;?
:''[the wings are now being eaten at a table]''
:'''Buddy''': What happened with that order?
:'''Francis''': I dropped a wing on the floor, picked it up and stuck it back in the fryer again.
:''[Buddy's eyes open wide in horror]''
:'''Brian''': (interview) We tried to keep everything consistent but some things get messed up every now and then.
:'''Buddy''': What the fuck were you thinking?!
:'''Gordon''': (outside) Oh my god. I've never, ever, ever seen anything quite extraordinary as that. Serves food off the floor and serves it to the customer? Oh, my god, no!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Melissa''': (watching Brian, in the kitchen, down a glass of beer) I want to see you and Ramsay chug.
:'''Brian''': I'll smoke him, and tuck him into bed. Goodnight, chef. (laughs) (interview) I'm a very confident person. I've been in the kitchen a long time. I'm almost positive we'll get a good review.
:'''Gordon''': (waiting for his spring rolls) When you get a family business right, it goes on for generations; and here, it doesn't feel like a family-run business at all. Pubs are full of atmosphere, fun. It's got tweed-neck curtains, like you're going to visit your granny. Weird.
:'''Melissa''': (arriving with spring rolls) Here you are; spring rolls with Coleman's mustard.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. God. Very strange, bizarre-looking spring roll. (eats it) Damn. (to Melissa) Are they popular on the menu?
:'''Melissa''': (hesitantly) People... really like them.
:'''Gordon''': No doubt half the customers are drunk.
:'''Buddy''': This is a tough half-hour of my life.
:'''Melissa''': (to Brian) Not a big hit.
:'''Brian''': He didn't like it?
:'''Melissa''': Nope. (interview) Brian's in the kitchen, wondering, and I'm like, &quot;Nope.&quot;
:'''Brian''': Are you kidding me? 
:'''Melissa''': He really expected me to be like, &quot;He loved it!&quot; You know, &quot;He wants you to come work for him!&quot;
:'''Brian''': Come on! (drizzles balsamic on Gordon's salmon) Maybe try that one.
:'''Melissa''': (serving the salmon to Gordon) Let me get you some clean silverware...
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. (noticing the balsamic) God. What's this stuff, please, Melissa?
:'''Melissa''': On top is a balsamic reduction. He (Brian) likes to use that a lot. On everything, he puts a little drizzle on.
:'''Gordon''': A little? Thank you.
:'''Melissa''': You're welcome. (leaves)
:'''Gordon''': Always a sign of an insecure chef, when he macerates everything in balsamic vinegar. Look at this. (tastes it) Horrible. Doesn't taste of salmon at all.
:'''Melissa''': (returning) All through?
:'''Gordon''': Does my shepherd's pie have any balsamic vinegar?
:'''Melissa''': No.
:'''Gordon''': (sarcastically) Good. Lovely.
:'''Buddy''': I don't even think he likes the water.
:'''Melissa''': (to Brian) He asked me, &quot;Will my shepherd's pie have any balsamic vinegar?&quot; and I told him, &quot;No, I assure you it will not.&quot;
:'''Brian''': Do I? Do I dare? (interview) I don't want to come off as conceited or cocky, but I know I'm very good at what I do. I know the back of the house well. I've done everything that's out there.
:''[We see a tray of shepherd's pie filling, topped with a pool of fat.]''
:'''Brian''': Let's try that one.
:'''Melissa''': (serves the pie) Enjoy.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you.
:'''Melissa''': You're welcome. (leaves)
:'''Gordon''': (digging into the shepherd's pie with his fork) It's just a big ball of grease. (eats it and grimaces) Just very, very greasy. (coughs and gags) Oh, God! That's disgusting. 
:''[Gordon gets up and leaves the table]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Buddy) The toilet?
:'''Buddy''': Second door on the left.
:''[Gordon walks toward the bathroom. A moment later, he is heard vomiting.]''
:'''Buddy''': Oh, no...

=== Lela's [1.08] ===

:''[Gordon brings Buzzard (Daniel) back to Lela's after Buzzard stole leftover wine and food.]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[shows Lela the stolen food]'' This is Buzzard's little picnic. Nice little sandwich there, ham, cheese, mustard. Oh, nice big salad. And main course, we're going to tackle some New Zealand lamb.
:'''Buzzard''': I know where that came from.
:'''Gordon''': Stop laughing. Here we are with a restaurant that's financially fucking screwed and you're just helping yourself to wine and a four course dinner.
:'''Lex''': (interview) He takes little things every now and then, but I haven't seen him do something like that in a while.
:'''Buzzard''': Now, listen. I'm not going to stand there and argue with you. You can have that! Okay? (Walks out)
:'''Gordon''': This lady owns it. Buzzard? Unbelievable. 
:'''Lela''': (interview) We were thinking that he was doing that but I hadn't caught him in the act and today, well there it is.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Buzzard comes to work next morning]''
:'''Lela:''' (interview) I hate to have to fire anybody, but then you get to the point where if I can't get them to change what they're doing or whatever, then I have to get rid of him.
:'''Gordon:''' Can I see your eyes? Take your glasses off. (Buzzard takes off his shades) Buzzard, anything that belongs inside this restaurant belongs to Lela. Yeah? End of story. Nothing gets taken off this premise.
:'''Tabitha:''' (interview) If it was up to me, I'd fire Buzzard's ass.
:'''Gordon:''' I get lots of people stealing from me and I just have one discipline, anyone who steals from me is out. End of story. Because, the message you send, they all see you do it, they all do it. Anyway, Lela, you're the one who's got to make the decision, it's your restaurant.
:'''Lela:''' Yeah, so you know, I'm sorry but this is going to be it. All right? This is it.
:'''Tabitha:''' (interview) Buzzard ain't going to be back here. He ain't going to be buzzing around here and he's truly a buzzard.

=== Campania's [1.09] ===
:'''Joe''': If people start bitchin', the meatballs are gonna come out of the kitchen.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[One customer was unhappy with the food and would not be mollified. Shockingly, a less-than-sober but satisfied customer comes to the defense of Campania.]''
:'''Drunk Customer''': If it was that bad, then why'd you keep eating? Why did you keep eating if it was that bad?
:'''Angry Customer''': What's her problem?
:'''Drunk''': 'Cause youse a fucking liar! You just want everything for free, you greedy fucking bitch!
:'''Angry''': Oh my God in heaven! You people are mental!
:'''Drunk''': Go have another bottle of wine, you fucking alcoholic bitch. Have another bottle of wine, you fucking lowlife!
:'''Angry''': Who &lt;i&gt;is&lt;/i&gt; that person?!

=== The Secret Garden [1.10] ===
:''[Day two, 8:45 a.m. - kitchen inspection]''
:'''Gordon''': Jesus.
:''[Finds a chocolate terrine/marquis]''
:'''Gordon''': Ohh, fuck.
:''[Finds a rotten banana]''
:'''Gordon''': My goodness me.
:''[Sees mold]''
:'''Gordon''': Mould everywhere.
:''[Finds some broccoli]''
:'''Gordon''': The food's been in this fridge for so long, even the fridge is starting to get mouldy.
:''[Finds some more mold]''
:'''Gordon''': Look, just here. It's like mould caked on. This place hasn't been cleaned for years. Look, it's real mould.
:''[Finds a bottle that has become moldy]''
:'''Gordon''': It's been in that long, even the bottle's mouldy. This place is a health hazard. Mould is festering, so, potentially dangerous in terms of poisoning someone. This place can't stay open. The place is disgusting.
:''[Finds some potatoes that have been infested with maggots]''
:'''Gordon''': Maggots. Infested with maggots. Oh, God!
:''[Gordon rushes to a nearby restroom to vomit]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Devon''': (interview) It was good for him ''(Michel)'' to be humbled. Michel was of an opinion that &quot;Hey, if I want to serve dog shit on a plate and the customer doesn't like it, too bad.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': God, this guy ''(Michel)'' is fucking unbelievable. You know, that's one thing being that bad, that's solvable, but being in complete denial throughout is extraordinary. I've never met such a fucking hard-arse stubborn bullshitter in all my life.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Day three, 8:27 a.m. - closed for business]''
:'''Narrator''': Day three. Gordon is determined to get through to this stubborn chef with help from a little shock therapy.
:''[Signs read &quot;Closed for business&quot;, &quot;Foreclosed by bank&quot;, &quot;Closed&quot;, and &quot;Do not enter&quot;.]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, a new day, and I'm determined that this guy is going to finally start listening to what I'm trying to say. So this morning, I've shut the place down, I've bought it up and I'll make him understand that if doesn't start changing and listening to what I'm trying to say, that's the end result.
:''[Referring to the &quot;Closed for business&quot; sign.]''
:'''Gordon''': And that's the end result that no restaurant wants to see.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[taking off his jacket]'' Fucking hell.
:'''Narrator''': With the restaurant on the verge of success, Chef Michel is insisting on reverting back to his old ways, and Gordon has reached his breaking point.
:'''Michel''': Thank you very much, I think it's great--
:'''Gordon''': Cut the bullshit. You don't care anymore, do you? Just get straight to the fucking answer.
:'''Michel''': No, I'm not cutting no bullshit. I'm just telling it like it is.
:'''Gordon''': Get straight to the fucking answer.
:'''Michel''': Okay? Alright? 
:'''Gordon''': Okay.
:'''Michel''': Alright, good. Your menu is not better than mine. You know?
:'''Gordon''': You're a donkey!
:'''Michel''': My food has been voted Best Chef in Ventura County.
:'''Gordon''': '''''WHAT?!'''''
:'''Michel''': Yeah, listen--
:'''Gordon''': Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on! Let me finish!! Let me finish!! You put your fucking hands up here, listen to me. '''You run a shit-hole of a kitchen! Fuck yourself!!''' Okay?!
:'''Michel''': No! No! No!
:'''Gordon''': '''''FUCK OFF!''''' '''WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TURN AROUND AND TELL ME, WHEN YOU WORK LIKE A PIG?!''' '''''YOU FRENCH PIG!!!'''''
:'''Michel''': Yeah, you know what...
:'''Gordon''': You lazy pig! You're so full of shit! Open your eyes and have a look around!
:'''Michel''': Big words, big mouth! Big mouth! You're not happy?
:'''Gordon''': '''I'm ''FUCKING'' happy!'''
:'''Michel''': You can get out! You can get out!
:'''Gordon''': Go on! ''[gives Michel the inverted V sign]'' Fuck yourself!
:'''Michel''': You can get out! It's my fucking kitchen!
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, is it? Well, if it's '''''YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN, THEN CLEAN IT, YOU LAZY CUNT!!!'''''
:'''Michel''': (flabbergasted) No!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking out of the building after arguing with Michel]'' I've got to get some air before I do something I really regret.

== Season 2 ==

=== Kitchen Nightmares Revisited: Gordon Returns [2.01] ===
:''[Revisiting Finn McCool's]''
:'''Gordon:''' How have you been?
:'''Buddy:''' Eh, I had a little glitch there for a little bit.
:'''Gordon:''' What happened?
:'''Buddy:''' I had a heart attack.
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Brian:''' (interview) My father's heart attack was a very traumatizing experience in a lot of different ways.
:'''Jason:''' (interview) And it was bad. The doctor told him he could have died.
:'''Melissa:''' (interview) That was a very scary time, realizing how close we were to losing him. It was beyond scary.
:'''Buddy:''' I was down for a few weeks, actually. And I was shocked-- the three of them stepped up, took the bull by the horns, and when I came back everything was perfect.
:'''Melissa:''' (interview) I don't think last year we could've done it. If this would've happened before Ramsay came, I think Finn McCool's would've been doors locked, done.
:'''Gordon:''' Bloody good to see you. 
:'''Buddy:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. Honestly. ''[shakes Buddy's hand. Buddy has quite a grip]'' There it is-- I swear to God. Honestly, I feel like you crushed my fingers. It'll take three days for the blood to go back.

=== Handlebar [2.02] ===
:'''Mary Jane''': Seafood crêpes...
:'''Gordon''': Wow.
:'''Mary Jane''': There's crab in there, there's lobster and some shrimp in there also.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you.
:'''Mary Jane''': No problem.
:'''Gordon''': ''[Cutting through his crêpes]'' Ai-ai-ai.
:'''Billy''': Chef Ramsay seems to have a habit to take his food apart, before he eats it. So, I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say.
:'''Carolyn''': Uh oh, here we go.
:'''Mary Jane''': How was everything?
:'''Gordon''': Rubbery. Um, the scallops are... firm.
:'''Carolyn''': Uh oh.
:'''Gordon''': The prawns are way overcooked.
:'''Carolyn''': Oh, God.
:'''Gordon''': And the crab meat, it's plastic.
:'''Mary Jane''': It's imitation crab meat.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah... if you told me it's imitation crab meat, I wouldn't order it.
:'''Carolyn''': Oh God, help me.
:'''Mary Jane''': Well, that was a disaster.
:'''Gordon''': Seafood crêpe? Yeah... that's seafood ''crap''.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': When was the last time this fridge was cleaned?
:'''Melissa''': A week ago.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on, this hasn't been cleaned in years.
:'''Billy''': No, it has.
:'''Gordon''': No, it hasn't, I'm sorry. Twenty-one years in the business, I'll bet every fucking dollar that I have, this fucking place hasn't been cleaned in years.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Un-fucking-believeable. So that just proves and confirms how weak this guy is. He's not running this place, this place is running him, and is in need of a fucking serious clean. That is appalling.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' I’m fucking pissed off and I’m upset at the kind of shit that I just discovered in there.
:'''Billy:''' Time to drag me through the mud some more. It is what it is.
:'''Gordon:''' You don’t seem one fucking ounce bothered about it, Billy. You can’t just stick your head back in the sand and ignore it, Billy!
:'''Billy:''' Sure, you can. What do you want me to do? Flip out, yell, and scream like you do? That’s not my way.
:'''Gordon:''' The responsibility is yours, Billy.
:'''Billy:''' I guess if you want something done right, I guess you have to do it yourself.
:'''Gordon:''' But why—
:'''Billy:''' Maybe I just get rid of everybody in the restaurant and I’ll do it all myself!
:'''Gordon:''' (sarcastically) Great idea!
:'''Billy:''' You know, when it doesn’t work out and then when I drop dead because I fucking sleep two hours a day, then maybe it’ll get done or maybe... who cares? Once you’re dead, it doesn’t make a difference anyway.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on! Now I feel you’re copping out on me now.
:'''Billy:''' Because now I’m just getting dragged through the mud and...
:'''Gordon:''' You’re a weak man, Billy.
:'''Billy:''' I really just had enough. (interview) I was not going to be ridiculed just for the sake of needing his help. (normal) Finished.
:'''Gordon:''' Can you at least talk to me?
:'''Billy:''' Nope.
:''[inside, Billy is sitting at the bar and drinking]''
:'''Gordon:''' Billy, can you talk to me please?
:'''Billy:''' Nope. I’ve nothing to say.
:''[later...]''
:'''Gordon:''' Billy?
:'''Billy:''' I wouldn’t talk to my dog the way you talked to me. Go fuck yourself. (walks away from the bar) That’s right. (interview) The hell with everything. I’ll make it work myself without his help. Everything in my life that I’ve ever set out to do, I did on my own. (normal) I’m finished with this crap. (takes off lapel mic and receiver and throws them on the bar table before walking out of Handlebar) I’m done.
:'''Gordon:''' What a weak man. (walks outside to look for Billy) BILLY!

=== Giuseppi's [2.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': Why are we serving potato skins? Do you want to come to an &quot;authentic Italian restaurant&quot; with potato skins?
:'''Sam''': Definitely not.
:'''Joe''': A lot of people come here with their kids, and their kids don't want--
:'''Gordon''': Hey, I've lived in Italy. I've seen Italian families, the way they eat together. They don't serve fucking children in Italy potato skins with plastic cheese, I can assure you.

=== Trobiano's [2.04] ===
:'''Gordon''': The décor matches the clientèle. Drab, fuddy-duddy, and seriously old-fashioned. I feel like I've come to see my granny in a retirement home.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Pat''': The Trobiano's salad is excellent. It's chopped.
:'''Gordon''': Why would you chop it?
:'''Pat''': People seem to love it.
:'''Gordon''': Is that because of their teeth?

=== Black Pearl [2.05] ===
:'''Gordon''': A restaurant run by three passionate owners? No chance. Brian, he works two days a week. David, well I don't trust him one little inch. And as for Greg, well he's pissed off at both of them. Basically in a nutshell, Sleepy, Dopey, and Grumpy. Who am I? [[w:Snow White|Snow fucking White]]?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You tell me about the passion with the Maine lobsters. Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?
:'''David''': Same waters, North Atlantic waters.
:'''Gordon''': You're telling me now...a Canadian lobster, half the price of a Maine lobster, is the same taste and flavour? There's a big difference. I can't get Maine lobsters.
:'''David''': That's right, so they get them from Canada.
:'''Gordon''': I'm using Canadian lobsters.
:'''David''': That's right. That's what they do.
:'''Gordon''': But I don't advertise them as &quot;Maine.&quot; 
:'''David''': You tell me, is it a different animal?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;''Maine''&quot; is a &quot;''Canadian''&quot; lobster for you?
:'''David''': ''Homarus americanus.'' Same animal, right?
:'''Gordon''': Holy shit... 
:'''David''': I'm asking you a question.
:'''Gordon''': What you're trying to dictate to me is that you're selling &quot;Maine&quot; lobster - they're not from Maine.
:'''David''': Well, it comes from the same vendor.
:'''Gordon''': ''[at a loss]'' Holy shit! The award-winning Maine lobster roll...is Canadian!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[to David]'' You're so full of fucking shit that you'd make a great politician.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You amaze me.
:'''David''': What?
:'''Gordon''': Because all week long, face-to-face, you fucking pretend to care.
:'''David''': Oh, fuck, Gordon. Come on.
:'''Gordon''': You don't give two fucks about this place. 
:'''David''': Really?
:'''Gordon''': You're not passionate about running a restaurant. 
:'''David''': Really?
:'''Gordon''': You're just abusing it and using it.
:'''David''': How did I- what, what, what did I do?
:'''Gordon''': I've never met an individual that's so full of shit in all my life. 
:'''David''': How have I been lying to you, Gordy? How? Tell me.
:'''Gordon''': ''Gordy''?
:'''David''': Yeah, how? You want to disrespect me, I can disrespect you too. But tell me how I'm lying to you.
:'''Gordon''': I'm not ''disrespecting'' you. I'm telling you the ''truth''.
:'''David''': No, you're disrespecting me because you don't know the truth.
:'''Gordon''': You're just massaging your fucking ego.
:'''David''': Gordon, bullshit.
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean, bullshit?
:'''David''': Not true.
:'''Gordon''': From the first minute you walked in this fucking door, standing there with your big long coat and your fucking sunglasses looking like proud cock, that was it. First impressions. Then you start debating lobsters because you think you're some smart-arse on the back of few fucking shit dive books. ''[flashback]'' Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?
:'''David''': ''[flashback]'' ''Homarus americanus.'' Same animal, right?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Humanus americanus&quot;, my arse-us.
:'''David''': Hmm.
:'''Gordon''': With 21 restaurants under my belt, I work my fucking arse off.
:'''David''': So what? So what?
:'''Gordon''': And I never take anything for granted.
:'''David''': ''[sarcastically]'' Fascinating, Gordon.
:'''Gordon''': You treat the staff like shit. You amaze me.
:'''David''': Never. Never did that.
:'''Gordon''': Excuse me?
:'''David''': Never. ''[flashback]'' Cat, it's policy here for you not to have a drink here after your shift, but you often do. ''[normal]'' Never.
:'''Gordon''': You can't even be honest with yourself, let alone me. Mate, you've been exposed.
:'''David''': Exposed?
:'''Gordon''': You're a hypocrite.
:'''David''': Is that right?
:'''Gordon''': Absolutely. For you, it's about a fucking TV show. This man ''[points to Greg]'', it's about a restaurant. Fuck the TV, David. And, I mean fuck it. This is real for me. And for you, it's an image.
:'''David''': I disagree with you on almost everything you said.
:'''Gordon''': You do?
:'''David''': Yeah, I do.
:'''Gordon''': Why do you disagree?
:'''David''': Because you're wrong. The great Gordon Ramsay is wrong.
:'''Gordon:''' You're a sad fuck. My advice would be for him ''[points to Greg]'' to get his partners, get your money out—yeah?—and disappear.
:'''David:''' Yeah, alright. My advice would be for you to disappear, and the sooner the better.
:'''Gordon:''' You don’t get it, do you?
:'''David:''' Fuck you, Gordon; of course I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' This restaurant has every chance of succeeding... but not while you are in it, because you’re not passionate. You’re soulless.
:'''David:''' Say what you like. Let me get out of here.
:'''Gordon:''' You’re ungrateful.

=== J Willy's [2.06] ===
''[Gordon is served a loaded baked potato pizza]''
:'''Gordon''': Holy mackerel. That's the strangest pizza I've ever seen. ''[looks at a table of four priests dining nearby]'' I'm gonna ask my beloved father to bless my food ''[gets up to the priests' table]''. Gentlemen can I ask a quick favour?
:'''Priest''': Yes. What's that?
:'''Gordon''': Would you mind just blessing my food?
:'''Priest''': Oh, sure.
:''[cut to Rick hanging and shaking his head in shame; a priest is now standing at Gordon's table]''
:'''Gordon''': Would you be so kind?
:'''Priest''': Absolutely. Oh good and gracious God we ask you to bless this food. Bless chef Gordon as he is about to receive it and that it may nourish him. We ask Jesus Christ, our lord. Amen.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you, fingers crossed. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Gordon has sent back the ribs for being untrimmed and doused in a poor sauce]''
:'''Rick''': ''[to J Willy]'' Dude, we're serving him an untrimmed rib, man.
:'''J Willy''': What do you want trimmed off it?
:'''Rick''': The faaat. ''[voice cracks]''
:'''J Willy''': All ribs have fat on them.
:'''Rick''': (interview) John doesn't get it. He's ordering an inferior rib. He's trying to cut corners. I'm just so frustrated that I feel like banging my head against the wall.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Gordon is served the pulled pork sandwich]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[removes the layer of melted cheese]'' Processed cheese that's just like glue ''[tastes]''. Pulled pork sandwich? Yeah, that's... pulled straight out of the bin. Sweet, tastes of nothing, and... ''absolutely'' ghastly.
:''[Gordon watches as a waitress serves a pulled pork sandwich to the priests]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh dear, they have the pulled pork sandwich. ''[gets up to the priests' table]'' Oh, um. Sorry, excuse me. ''[takes the sandwich from the priests]'' Forgive me father, for they have sinned and ''[priests laugh]'' I, out of respect for you guys, you're not going to eat that okay?
:'''Priest''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': I will go straight to hell.
:''[cut to Rick and John &quot;J Willy&quot; Ittenbach watching]''
:'''Rick''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oh man.
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking towards the kitchen]'' Forgive me; they have sinned.
:'''Narrator''': After saving the priests from an ungodly meal...
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking around the kitchen]'' Dear, oh dear.
:'''Narrator''': Gordon's anxious to meet the creative minds responsible for the food.
:'''Gordon''': ''[handshakes a chef]'' Jeff, Gordon. Are you the chef?
:'''J Willy''': We don't really have a chef.
:'''Gordon''': How come we don't have a chef?
:'''J Willy''': The recipes don't really change. Everything's prepared the same way.
:'''Gordon''': You seem to stand proud of that.
:'''J Willy''': The menu is designed to cut a lot of the labour out.
:'''Gordon''': Cut a lot of labour out... and serve shit?
:'''Rick''': (interview) I'm finally glad that I have somebody who agrees with me as far as the standards on the menu. John doesn't listen to me. Hopefully he'll listen to Gordon

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''J Willy''': (interview) When Chef Gordon pulled those potato skins out, I knew he had found something that I wasn't going to like.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': We sat here wondering why this business is on its arse. It starts with the top job, it's called responsibility. (to J Willy) No wonder you've given up.
:'''J Willy''': (interview) I've been in denial, I've lowered my standards, and it takes somebody like a Gordon Ramsay to come in and wake you up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Rick''': (interview) I wanted to crawl under the table and hide my face so that people wouldn't associate me with such &quot;crap&quot;.

=== Hannah &amp; Mason's [2.07] ===
:'''Gordon''': What a beautiful, quaint little town. I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's Day than at Hannah &amp;... (sees that the sign is missing the N from &quot;Mason's&quot;) Maso's? I guess they couldn't afford the &quot;N.&quot; That's not a good start.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Well, ''thestaffreallylovetheonionsoup'', that's for sure.
:'''Marie''': We're gonna start with onion soup.
:'''Chris''': Okay. ''(Interview)'' Some people might say, &quot;Oh, French onion soup is French onion soup is French onion soup&quot;. But I think ours have a distinct, you know, presentation.
:'''Gordon''': ''(After being served the soup)'' Wow. Let's start off with 0 out of 10 for presentation. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon goes down to the walk in fridge]''
:'''Gordon''': I cannot believe that this is how you guys are running a restaurant!
:'''Chris''': (interview) Through my head, I was thinking &quot;We're going to be screwed!&quot;
:'''Gordon''': That's what in there?
:'''Chris''': That's the walk-in freezer.
:'''Gordon''': That's the walk-in freezer? Look at the mess in here! What's this here?
:'''Brian''': Bacon.
:'''Gordon''': Bacon. Yeah, obviously bacon, smart-arse! That's from lunch? Yeah, five years ago! You leave a spatula in there like that? I'm sorry. No. Fuck off. I cannot believe what you guys are doing here.
:'''Chris''': There was so much going on. My head was spinning. My head was about to explode. I thought to myself, this is a disaster.
:'''Gordon''': What's that in there?
:'''Brian''': Shit that didn't get put away?
:'''Gordon''': (finds cooked chicken sitting next to raw chicken.) Oh, my god.
:'''Chris''': I don't know what the fuck...
:'''Gordon''': Oh, fuck off! Oh, my god! Oh, no!
:'''Chris''': This is not good.
:'''Gordon''': RAW CHICKEN!
:'''Brian''': That should never happen, you know?
:'''Gordon''': Oh my god! CHRIS, THERE'S FUCKING CHICKEN AGAINST RAW CHICKEN!!
:'''Chris''': It's fucking...
:'''Gordon''': (to Brian) HEY, PANINI-HEAD! LISTEN TO ME!
:'''Brian''': Yes?
:'''Gordon''': YOU'RE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE! I'VE EATEN HERE!! Partners? Partners in crime! You should be ashamed.
:'''Brian''': We are ashamed.
:'''Gordon''': You've just contaminated the town! (Leaves the walk-in) Hey, Nick. Nick! Stop! Right now, this is not a romantic eat-out. This is a Valentine fucking massacre! IT'S A DISGRACE! How can you do this!? I'm closing this place down. SWITCH IT OFF!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Gordon shuts the kitchen down]''
:'''Gordon''': What I've just discovered is totally unacceptable. Enough is enough. Chris?
:'''Chris''': Yes, sir?
:'''Gordon''': You are passionate about food. You feel deeply about it. I want to hear it.
:'''Chris''': I'm ready. I'm ready to tear it down and start over.
:'''Gordon''': You've got a big pair of bollocks facing those customers tonight. What can be said about the &quot;partner&quot; you are in business with? (to Brian) Where were you? How many tables did you talk to? How many customers did you apologise to?
:'''Brian''': None.
:'''Gordon''': How much support did you give the waiters, the manager?
:'''Brian''': None.
:'''Gordon''': Right. You were doing jack-shit tonight. You make me sick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': Inspired by the fresh locally-grown apples, Chef Ramsay heads back to the restaurant to work on a special he has in mind for tonight's dinner service.
:'''Gordon''': Right. What are they called.
:'''Brian''': (unenthusiastically) Apples?
:'''Gordon''': Apples, fucking smart-arse.

=== Jack's Waterfront [2.08] ===
:''[Gordon has just ordered a &quot;krab&quot; omelet...]''
:'''Gordon: ''' Wow,  look at the size of that. That's a lot of &quot;krab.&quot; And you haven't told me about the &quot;K&quot; yet.
:'''Erica:''' Oh, he said he wanted everybody to know that it wasn't real crab, it's artificial crab. So he spelled it with a &quot;K&quot; so there was no misconception.
:'''Gordon: ''' So it's fake crab meat?
:'''Erica: ''' Uh-huh.
:'''Gordon: ''' In a seafood restaurant, on the water?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After taking a bite of some rubbery fish and chips]''
:'''Gordon: ''' When you take a bite of that cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During a kitchen inspection]''
:'''Gordon: ''' This is salmon that is marinated in... that looks like... ''[he smells it]'' an Italian dressing. Oh dear. ''[finds tuna that has been dyed pink]'' What's this? Seafood restaurant on the water. Tuna that's dyed pink to make it look authentic. Look at it, my God. Unbelieveable. And here we have... ''[he finds a risotto]'' That looks like a mushroom risotto, grey risotto. Unbelieveable.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon shows the chefs some beef bits.]''
:'''Gordon: ''' What is that there
:'''AJ:''' I believe it's beef bits.
:'''Gordon: ''' Beef bits in blood.
:'''Scott: ''' Nasty.

=== Sabatiello's [2.09] ===
:''[Sampling the Italian wedding soup]''
:'''Sammy''': That's to get them in the mood to get married.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus. I’d rather get fucking divorced.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Dover sole stuffed with imitation crab meat is being sent back to the kitchen]''
:'''Sammy''': What's the matter with this?
:'''Marco''': She said it's not fresh, she said it's no good.
:'''Gordon''': It's fucking watery.
:'''Sammy''': Let me have a taste. How bad is it? ''[tastes it]'' It's not bad though! It's not bad! It's not bad! ''[Gordon tastes it and spits it out.]'' Ohhhh, no! Come on! He spits it out. It's not bad.
:'''Gordon''': You're fucking delusional. It's mushy. It's watery. It's fake.
:'''Sammy''': It's not the right crab meat. You're right.
:'''Gordon''': And it's fucking disgusting. You're jumping up and down like a big fucking baboon and &quot;Ho, ho! It's good! Whoo!&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Watching this restaurant perform is embarrassing. Fake fucking crab meat inside of sole? It's pretty obvious, it's become the appendix of restaurants in Stamford. You just want to get rid of it and get it out. ''[walks back inside the restaurant]'' Bollocks.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': With food now coming back, it's a perfect opportunity for Gordon to witness Sammy's customer service skills.
:'''Sammy''': How did you want your meat cooked? Did you want it rare?
:'''Lady''': I wanted it medium rare.
:'''Sammy''': So can we make you another one? Will you wait or you don't want it all?
:'''Lady''': I'll wait, but the thing is I don't want you to stick it back in a microwave.
:'''Sammy''': No, we're going to throw that out and make you a new one. Nobody's talking about microwave. You're the one who's talking about microwave.
:'''Lady''': It came out of a microwave, otherwise it wouldn't be exuding heat.
:'''Sammy''': Do you work for a microwave company? You know so much about microwave. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Get the fuck out of here. Tell her to take a hike.
:'''Customers''': That is rude. Wow. To speak to a customer like that, that's disgusting.
''[Later when the lamb is recooked and brought back to the lady, the restaurant breaks out in applause]''
:'''Sammy''': No wait, we're not done yet. I want to see you cut into it. How is it? Is it still too rare?
:'''Lady''': You know what? I'm done. No more chances.
:'''Sammy''': Unbelievable. (interview) Oh my god. I just wanted to pick her up and throw her out. There's a right way and a wrong way of handling something like that and she was totally wrong.

=== Fiesta Sunrise [2.10] ===
:'''Gordon''': When were these done?
:'''Vic''': Yesterday?
:'''Gordon''': Yesterday? Fuck off, Vic, please. They weren't done yesterday. Okay. You can ask him in his own language; ask him very, very quickly: &quot;When were these cooked?&quot;
:'''Vic''': (to a cook) ''¿Cuándo cocinaron de eso?'' (When did you cook that?)
:'''Cook''': ''En viernes.'' (On Friday.)
:'''Vic''': (to a cook) So this was from last week.
:'''Gordon''': Of course, they're from last week!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:[Gordon finds some fresh chives in the fridge.]
:'''Gordon''': What are these? (to Vic) Vic?
:'''Vic''': Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon''': These are fresh chives. Sell-by date, five months old.
:'''Vic''': Where'd you find that?
:'''Gordon''': I found it in the fucking fridge. Smell it.
:[Vic smells the chives.]
:'''Gordon''': Vic, look, let me just show you something.
:[Gordon shows Vic some fish.]
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Stop getting nervous now. Talk to me. What is this?
:'''Vic''': That's the fish we're using.
:'''Gordon''': That's the fish you're using? Oh, fuck me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': How old is this stuff?
:'''Vic''': Yesterday.
:'''Gordon''': Yesterday?!
:'''Patti''': He said, Friday.
:'''Gordon''': [finds slimy chicken] Look at that! Oh, my god. (cough) When's all this from?
:'''Patti''': Friday. He took it out Friday.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, everything's Friday? Let me just show you something, look how green and slimy that is. That's from Friday? Look at that, that's from Friday? Look at my fingers. Friday? Look, look (pours the juice from the tray). There you go. That's from Friday? How do you say in Spanish, &quot;This is not healthy&quot;?
:'''Patti''': ''No es saludable.'' (It is not healthy.)
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. What is going on in here? A hungry cat would walk away from that.
:'''Patti''':  (interview) I was mortified. I felt embarrassed for letting this go on for so long.
:'''Narrator''':  While customers in the dining room continue to eat sub-par food, Chef Ramsay's kitchen investigation intensifies.
:'''Gordon''': What is going on here?
:[Gordon finds a tray of burritos.]
:'''Gordon''': What's that?!!
:'''Vic''': The burritos.
:[Gordon finds a tray of chicken enchiladas.]
:'''Gordon''': What's that one?
:'''Vic''': The chicken enchiladas.
:'''Gordon''': Ugh! How?! 
: [Gordon finds a tray of ground beef with dried up fat covering it.]
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God! What's that?!
:'''Vic''': That was the ground beef.
:'''Gordon''': Ground beef?!! Half of it's fucking fat, you idiot! It's fatter than you!
:'''Patti''': (interview) I felt satisfied that finally somebody called him out on his bullshit.
: [Gordon finds a bucket of beans.]
:'''Gordon''': Oh, shit! What's that?
:'''Vic''': The beans.
:'''Gordon''': Ugh! How? It's like a cement mixer. Are you fucking stupid? Who's controlling this?
:'''Vic''': I am, chef.
:'''Gordon''': You are? You... are a walking disaster.
:'''Vic''': (interview) Now I'm feeling, like, like stupid.
:'''Gordon''': Lift it up. The fridge is full... of ''shit!'' It -- it's ''DISGUSTING!!'' I wasn't here on Saturday, but what were they expecting? Fucking ten thousand customers for lunch? Patti, I'm fucking disgusted. Yolanda, that's a joke.
:'''Yolanda''': I understand. (interview) I don't want people to get sick and I don't want them to spread the word that the food is bad here.
:'''Gordon''': (to Vic) You're overstaffed. Under-worked. SHIT food! I wouldn't trust you running a bath, let alone a ''fucking'' restaurant! You must be out of your tiny mind!
:'''Vic''': I care for the restaurant.
:[Gordon grabs the huge bucket full of stale re-fried beans]
:'''Gordon''': I want to take that out there. I dare you, take it out there. Go on, give it to them! Yeah, there you go.
:'''Vic''': Excuse me?
:'''Gordon''': Look at me! Why won't you take it out there?
:'''Vic''': That's embarrassing.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;It's embarrassing&quot;? WHY ARE YOU SERVING IT?! YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE!
:'''Vic''': Why?
:'''Gordon''': Why?! Because you're serving that and trying to charge people money for that. That's why you don't care.
:'''Vic''': I care for—
:'''Gordon''': YOU DON'T CARE SHIT! No fucking way!
:[Gordon picks up the bucket of beans, carries it through to the dining room, and places it on a table in front of the shocked diners]
:'''Gordon''': Fuck! Ladies and gentlemen! I'm so sorry, but we're stopping service. Everything you've had to drink, eat so far is all on the house. Sir, that thing you have in your hand, put it down! Because if you just seen where it came from like I have, you wouldn't be eating it. Very sorry. Close up. (to Vic) No bill anywhere!
:'''Vic''': (interview) I was like, &quot;What the hell are you doing?&quot; You can't do that to my customers.
:'''Gordon''': By the way, there's your re-fried beans on the way out. Have a look at them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator''': While the family cools off, Chef Ramsay heads to the kitchen to come up with a game plan to fix the restaurant's biggest plan — the food.
:''[Gordon sees that the kitchen is infested with cockroaches.]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God. What in the fuck is that? That is a fucking joke.
:''[Gordon calls out Vic, Patti and Yolanda.]''
:'''Gordon''': I wanted us all to get involved, and doing something together, yeah? I wanted a fun element. You ''(Patti)'' make a burrito, you ''(Yolanda)'' make a burrito, you ''(Vic)'' make a burrito, and the best one goes on the menu tonight. That's what I wanted to do. I couldn't do it, because of these little fuckers here. LOOK AT THEM!
:''[We see that the kitchen is infested with dozens of cockroaches. The women look disgusted.]''
:'''Yolanda''': Oh, my god! (interview) I feel sick to my stomach. I want to throw up, because I had coffee here earlier, and I don't know if the roach went through my cup.
:'''Patti''': I didn't know about this problem either.
:'''Gordon''': Two dishwashers, two prep cooks. Who's cleaning around here? Do they seriously put food on those plates?
:'''Patti''': (interview) Vic's here seven days a week. I don't know how he didn't realize the problems in the kitchen.
:'''Gordon''': Can't you see these? I'm trying to move forward, I'm trying to get going, but every time I put my foot on the ladder, I get knocked back. Did you know this was like this?
:'''Vic''': I noticed, I noticed, but, uh...
:'''Gordon''': You knew it?
:'''Vic''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': We're going to have to do something! We cannot open, we need an exterminator. How can I start even attempting to think of a new menu when the place is festering with cockroaches?!
:'''Yolanda''': (interview) I didn't expect this. I don't think it could get worse, I don't even know what could make it worse at this point.
:'''Narrator''': After Chef Ramsay's dirty discovery, he immediately called in an exterminator.
:'''Yolanda''': I had no idea it was that bad.
:'''Gordon''': Bloody hell. I'm pulling my hair out now. I'm sorry, but you're running the place.
:'''Vic''': Sorry.
:'''Yolanda''': Vic, this is stupid.
:'''Gordon''': Where do I go, Vic?
:'''Vic''': Sorry.
:''[Gordon goes outside.]''
:'''Vic''': (interview) I'm embarrassed with Chef Ramsay. I don't think that I uh... we can make it a good restaurant.
:'''Gordon''': You can't run a fucking restaurant like that!
:'''Vic''': You think I'm mad? I'm fucking embarrassed now.
:'''Gordon''': You should be fucking embarrassed. I'm not putting one foot in that place until that place is fucking cleaned, yes?
:'''Vic''': You're right.
:'''Gordon''': Now you start getting those guys cleaning, yes?
:'''Vic''': Definitely.
:'''Gordon''': WITH SOME FUCKING PRIDE! Do you understand the word pride?!
:'''Vic''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': It's not possible for someone to have his head so far up his arsehole. Fuck me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' With customers in the restaurant, Chef Ramsay is anxious to impress them with something that Fiesta Sunrise has never had: fresh food.
:''[Gordon inspects a newly-cooked batch of rice]''
:'''Gordon:''' Bloody hell! Get me Yolanda, please. Fucking hell...
:''[Yolanda enters the kitchen, followed by Vic. Gordon shows her a fist-sized ball of rice]''
:'''Gordon:''' Yolanda, you cook at home, don't you? What's wrong with this?
:'''Yolanda:''' Overcooked.
:'''Gordon:''' Absolutely right. It's mush. We've got four chefs in the line, not one of them can cook rice?
:'''Yolanda:''' (interview) The cooks, they don't even know what they're doing. I realize how bad it is today.
:'''Gordon:''' I think you should start spending some time in here. Can you cook rice?
:'''Yolanda:''' Yes.
:''[Yolanda puts on an apron and starts cooking a fresh batch of rice. Gordon throws the old rice in the trash]''
:'''Gordon:''' Like a fucking golf ball!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Service, please! Pass it over.
:''[The cooks hand Gordon two plates of food, both of which are covered in large black chunks]''
:'''Gordon''': What's those black bits, coming from the...?
:'''Cook''': From the top.
:'''Gordon''': The top of the broiler? Jesus Christ almighty. When was the last time the broiler was cleaned?
:''[A server is shown talking to some diners in the dining room]''
:'''Server''': The chefs, now, they are crazy, you know.
:'''Customer 1''': But this place is half-full. What are you going to do when it's crowded, and there's people waiting outside?
:''[Back in the kitchen, Gordon checks the broiler]''
:'''Gordon''': This is unbelievable! What the fuck's happening?! When was the broiler cleaned last, gentlemen? If he fucking tells me Friday one more time, I'll boil him!
:'''Yolanda''': Every Sunday, they say.
:'''Gordon''': Every Sunday? My fucking arse!
:''[Cut back to the table seen earlier, where only two out of the six guests have any food]''
:'''Customer 2''': This is out of control. I mean, you've got your food, you've got your food.
:'''Customer 1''': Yep.
:''[In the kitchen, Gordon wipes the soot off his hands]''
:'''Gordon''': I've got four chefs who can't cook fucking rice, and soot all over the food. What is going on?! Fuck me. You're supposed to put ''salt'' on the food, not fucking soot!
:''[The table seen earlier starts walking out]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Vic) You can't employ these guys! One can't clean, one can't cook rice.
:'''Yolanda''': (interview) I never imagined how bad this restaurant was doing. I don't know what else could happen.
:'''Gordon''': (leaves the kitchen) I cannot come to terms with what the fuck is happening!

=== Sante La Brea [2.11] ===
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?
:'''Dean:''' Un-duck. It's... duck. But it's un-duck. Fake duck.
:'''Gordon:''' Fake duck? So you call it... what?
:'''Dean:''' We call it un-duck.
:'''Gordon:''' Un-duck? Right now I feel like I'm getting completely fucked. Is that popular?
:'''Dean:'''Yeah, it is, actually. A lot of people ask for that, too.
:'''Gordon:''' Un-duck... fucked up... ''[as he reaches in and pulls out more &quot;meat&quot;]''
:'''Dean:''' That's fake fish.
:'''Gordon:''' Fake fish? ''[sniffs, laughs and slides a hand under his collar]''
:'''Dean:''' It looks like fish, it tastes like fish, and it's got seaweed on the outside.
''[Gordon rolls the cutely molded, fish-shaped, food-like substance over in his hands.]''
:'''Dean: '''''[to audience]'' We have everything that's &quot;un&quot;.
''[Gordon strides into the walk-in, talking to audience.]''
:'''Gordon: ''' This is incredible. So far I've had un-duck, un-fish... un-fucking-believable. What a mess.

=== Cafe 36 [2.12] ===
:''[The food is delivered to the customers on carts, awkwardly]''
:'''Gordon''': I thought people got pushed into a mortuary on trolleys, no? Not serving food.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon is inspecting the pantry and has found pans of wrapped up frozen fish floating in water]''
:'''Gordon''': Pinto? Certified exec! ''[Pinto walks to the pantry]'' What's going on here? What's all this stuff floating in water?
:'''Pinto''': That's the grouper taken out from the freezer to keep it fresh-frozen.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Fresh-frozen&quot;? 
:'''Pinto''': Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon''': There's no such thing! It's either fresh or it's frozen.
:'''Pinto''': ''[shrugs]'' I understand.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to another tray]'' What's this in water?
:'''Pinto''': It's the salmon, chef.
:'''Gordon''': Frozen.
:'''Pinto''': It was a fresh-frozen. (interview) We keep it frozen, fresh-frozen, it tastes more fresh.
:'''Gordon''': It's mad! 
:'''Pinto''': It is-
:'''Gordon''': You're making all this fresh stuff, freezing it, then taking it out two portions at a time per day.
:'''Pinto''': Because it doesn't sell enough.
:'''Gordon''': What?!
:'''Pinto''': If you had to plan a business like this-
:'''Gordon''': It's got nothing to do with business. That's lazy! Everything's frozen!
:''[Cut to sous chef Barney washing dishes and watching the argument]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[with a brick of frozen stuffing]'' Trout stuffing. So we take it out, we slow-thaw it. ''[Pinto doesn't react]'' Yeah, it's cold ''[puts the brick to his cheek]'', cold, &quot;brrr&quot;, cold. Slow-thaw. We stuff the trout, then we re-freeze the trout. ''[nods angrily]''
:'''Pinto''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws the brick]'' I rest my case, certified jerk.
:'''Pinto''': (interview) Chef thought that the grouper was a strong smell. ''[shrugs]'' That's the chef's ahhhh opinion.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Cafe 36's biggest problem is the long wait times for your meal.]''
:'''Female Customer''': I feel like I'm drinking more than I'm eating.&lt;br /&gt;
:'''Male Customer''': I think they got to catch the shrimp first.&lt;br /&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Eduardo, no wonder you've grown so old. You've aged waiting for the last main course. ''[Eduardo and the other servers laugh]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[It's the middle of February 2008 and head chef Pinto is serving asparagus for the 'veggie of the day']''
:'''Gordon''': What are these up here for? They're not even in season, asparagus, are they?
:'''Pinto''': No. Not right now, they're very expensive.
:'''Gordon''': They're very expensive, so why have you got them on?
:'''Pinto''': They're veggie of the day.
:'''Gordon''': Veggie of the day? Aren't you bothered about the cost?
:'''Pinto''': It comes from a different part of the world, Chef. We can get it.
:'''Gordon''': 'It comes from a different part of the world'? ''[to Barney]'' Are you listening to this?! ''[to Pinto]'' It's the most expensive vegetable on the market. You want that?! And it's out of season! And you just put them on four dishes!

== Season 3 ==

=== Hot Potato Cafe [3.01] ===
:'''Gordon:''' You just served me three-week-old frozen potato skins that have no potato inside. I feel like I'm a potato organ donor.

=== Flamango's [3.02] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Adele, what do you think?
:'''Adele:''' ''(Shaking her head)'' I don't like it.
:'''Gordon:''' You don't like it?
:'''Adele:''' I hate blue.
:'''Gordon:''' Unbelievable.
:'''Waitress:''' I'm dumbfounded. I don't think I have ever heard anyone say they hate the color blue!
:'''Adele:''' I hate it.
:'''Bill:''' You hate it?
:'''Adele:''' Hate it. How can you be positive about something you hate? Ugly. I wanna throw up. I hate it! Hate, hate, hate. Oh my God.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon and the staff are getting rid of Flamangos' tropical decor, much to the dismay of Cheryl]''
:'''Cheryl:''' &lt;b&gt;[https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Darth-Vader-No-Gif.gif NOOOOOOOOO!!!]&lt;/b&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' What do you mean, no?
:'''Cheryl:''' That's Willy, my alligator!
:'''Gordon:''' Trust me, I need him. In the truck!
:'''Cheryl:''' &lt;i&gt;(interview)&lt;/i&gt; I can't believe Chef Ramsay grabbed &lt;i&gt;my alligator&lt;/i&gt; and just threw it in the truck. Just threw it in there...!

=== Bazzini [3.03] ===
:''[Gordon's mushroom risotto is stuck to the plate and won't move around on it]''
:'''Gordon:''' Is that normal? The Amazing Bazzini's Risotto. Woohoo! (twirls the plate around) Wow, that's extraordinary, no? Doesn't even move.

=== Mojito [3.04] ===

=== Lido di Manhattan Beach [3.05] ===
:''[on the restaurant's clunky and outdated POS system]''
:'''Gordon''': POS. Piece of shit. This is the biggest headache inside the restaurant. They press less buttons at NASA, launching astronauts into space!

=== Le Bistro [3.06] ===
:'''Andy :''' If this restaurant closes, the last thing I wanna do is work for some idiot somewhere else. I hate idiots.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' (about Andy) This is unbelievable, because there’s a lot of similarities between Andy and I. We’re both English and we both studied in Paris, but there’s one thing we don’t share in common: I care about my customers. He clearly doesn’t give a shit. What a shame.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Andy:''' I’m a loser, everybody. I’m the worst.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Talk to me, &quot;chef.&quot;
:'''Andy:''' My name’s Andy.
:'''Gordon:''' (scoffs, whispers under breath) Cunt.

=== Casa Roma [3.07] ===

:'''Gordon''': This is incredible. Right through those doors has to be for me one of the worst restaurants I've ever seen in my entire cooking career. The chef doesn't give a fuck, the owner's completely clueless and not any form of communication between the kitchen and the restaurant and the management. It's a fucking shambles.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[8:58 PM, two hours into dinner service]''
:'''Gordon''': What are we waiting on now, Ashley?
:'''Ashley''': I'm still waiting on: chicken pancotta with penne marinara, an individual kids pepperoni pizza, half order spaghetti with meat sauce, eggplant parmesean with angel and meat, chicken pancotta angel with marinara, three chicken parms and a veal Parmesan ...for just one table. (interview) I felt like crying because it was that embarrassing for me.
:'''Gordon''': Erick.
:'''Erick''': Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, can I have your undivided attention?
:'''Erick''': Sure.
:'''Gordon''': Nothing's happening. We served one table of four, one table of two. For the last three tickets, half the order's gone out, half is still on the board. You haven't got a clue what's going on. You're (Drew) running around crazy. What chance have we got serving 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, tables? You asked for one more crack at lunch time. &quot;Let me go big boy! Let me go! I want to do it again!&quot; We're spinning around and serving shit! Do me a favour, close the fucking restaurant! I can't stand any longer and watch that embarrassment. ''[takes all eight tickets from the board]''
:'''Nylah''': ''[in the dining room to the customers]'' As of now, we're not gonna be serving any more dinners tonight.
:'''Gordon''': I need the door fucking closed! Forget it! 
:'''Ashley''': Alright.
:'''Nylah''': ''[to a customer]'' We're done. Good night.
:'''Gordon''': This is a joke guys! You're pissed off, you're frustrated. ''[Erick walks out]'' Forget it! Good night!
:'''Ashley''': (interview) What restaurant stops their business and tells everybody that they have to leave? There's no excuse.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Nylah, outside]'' I don't even know where to start with a chef that can't even cook something basic. Why are you pulling a chef that is that incompetent? Darling, he's not in the slightest bit interested in fucking making it work, doesn't give a fuck about his cooking, doesn't give a fuck about you, and he's here for one thing and one thing only: money. And the only restaurant that fucking guy will ever get a job is in a restaurant that doesn't have any customers. If you've got any chance of surviving here, get rid of him. ''[Nylah shakes her head]'' What are you scared of? Talk to me, there's gotta be something.
:'''Nylah''': Where am I going to find another chef?
:'''Gordon''': Drew. What's wrong with Drew?
:'''Nylah''': Drew, I think can carry it on.
:'''Gordon''': So get rid of him!
:'''Nylah''': Okay. ''[walks off]''
:'''Gordon''': Fuck me, un-fucking-believable.
:'''Erick''': Babe, I'm sorry.
:'''Nylah''': I know, no, no, just wait a minute. Jeremy come here.
:'''Erick''': I feel real bad.
:'''Nylah''': The whole thing is, this isn't the first time you've let us down. I just can't do it. I know but I just can't do it. Erick, I gotta make-you guys get your paycheck every week. Jeremy and I never take a dime out of here.
:'''Erick''': We understand that.
:'''Nylah''': I know but I mean, the whole thing is not going to work because you...
:'''Erick''': Okay so what do you want to do?
:'''Nylah''': I-we're going to part ways.
:'''Erick''': Okay that's no problem. Dammit! I fucked on that deal.
:'''Nylah''': (interview) He couldn't pull off lunch, couldn't pull off dinner and so we just had to let him go. You know I can't do this.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[8:30 AM, day two - kitchen inspection.]''
:'''Gordon''': Last twenty four hours was one of the toughest days ever spent in a restaurant. Last night, we did get rid of the chef which was a positive move. Now I need Drew to step up to the mark, Jeremy to support his mother more...I got here early so I can check out the place properly. With no interference.
:''[Inside the refrigeration unit]''
:Jesus... Christ almighty, where do we start in a place like this? ''[looking at a roast beef]'' Roast beef, dating back when? ''[looking at meat that has been defrosting]'' What is that there? Just meat defrosting, again no sign of what it is. ''[looking at a parma ham that is moldy]'' Fresh parma ham, it's caked in mould. This is outrageous. ''[he touches the base of it, and it stuck on his hand]'' Look at it. It sticks in your fucking hand, it's that rancid. ''[looking at a rack of ribs, which made him sick]'' Woh, fucking hell. That's just over three months old. ''[he smells it]'' Jesus Christ almighty. Oh God. ''[he ran to a bin to puke]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator''': After witnessing one of the worst kitchen walk-ins he has ever seen, Gordon moves on to an area outside the kitchen that restaurants are judged upon - the bathroom.
:'''Gordon''': One of the best ways to check the hygiene of any restaurant is always through these bathrooms. Turn that [a blue UV light] on, and turn the lights off. Right, this can be quite scary. ''[he checks out one of the walls]'' Oh my good God. Green and yellow identifies bodily fluids. Any form of bleach or any form of cleaning will be identified through the colour blue, but the body fluids on here is extraordinary. ''[he checks the ceiling]'' Look, as high as the ceiling, oh my God. Even the ceiling's caked in it, OH MY GOD! This is shocking. ''[a sign reads &quot;Wash your heads&quot;]'' Wash your hands, yeah. Honestly, I've seen enough. Let's get the fuck out of here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (to Nylah) Nylah, the state of that fridge in there confirms whoever's running this place in terms of kitchen management has given up. They don't give a fuck about you, and they don't give a fuck about standards.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': (to Nylah) Having a dirty refrigeration unit is one thing. Having a filthy bathroom is something that fucking scares the hell out of me.
:''[They went to the bathroom.]''
:'''Gordon''': This thing here [the blue UV light] detects body fluids. Just have a look at this.
:'''Nylah''': That's body fluids up there?
:'''Gordon''': That there has got nothing to do with any form of cleaning. Look at the fucking state of this. Green, green, green, green, green. And here's where it gets really scarry.
:''[The UV light is shown towards the ceiling.]''
:'''Nylah''': How the hell did it get up there? (interview) It looked like somebody may have peed on the ceiling, the walls, the doors, you know. It could be a throw-up. I can't even imagine, you know. And it made me sick, I didn't even want to touch the door-knob coming out myself.

=== Mama Rita's [3.08] ===
:'''Laura:''' This is Cheryl, this is my manager.
:'''Gordon:''' And you manage the kitchen and the front of the house?
:'''Cheryl:''' Um, front of the house.
:'''Laura:''' Catering...
:'''Cheryl:''' ...and I do catering as well.
:'''Gordon:''' What's wrong with the place?
:'''Cheryl:''' Lack of customers...
:'''Gordon:''' So why have we got lacking the customers?
:'''Cheryl:''' We need more customers, we need to figure out how to get more people in here...
:'''Gordon:''' ''[covering his face with his hand in disbelief]'' Ok. Thank you, and you're the manager?
:'''Cheryl:''' Yeah...
:'''Gordon:''' Oh my God...! A manager that didn't even know what's wrong with the restaurant is scary.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' To make the transition from cooking frozen to fresh, Chef Ramsay has just the challenge in mind to inspire Laura and her chef, Perla.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[points to plates of fresh chicken breasts and shrimps]'' Chicken, shrimp. I've got steak here. 30 minutes. We'll have a cook-off now. Choose between the shrimp and the chicken and cook something really delicious. One minute gone, let's go.
:''[Laura takes the shrimp and Perla takes the chicken breasts]''
:'''Laura:''' (interview) It felt good working with fresh ingredients. It was fun to just grab something and just throw it all together and come up with something good.
:''[Laura and Gordon are cooking while Perla is still stunned]''
:'''Perla:''' Let me think, let me think...
:'''Gordon:''' What's the matter?
:'''Perla:''' Thinking.
:'''Gordon:''' You're thinking?
:'''Perla:''' (interview) I'm really nervous because I no have idea for what I cook.
:'''Gordon:''' 15 minutes left.
:'''Perla:''' Ai yai yai!
:'''Laura:''' Perla, get moving! (interview) I was nervous about what she was making. ''[to Perla]'' No pressure, Perla. (interview) The creativity seems not to be present.
:'''Gordon:''' 5 minutes, get ready to plate yeah?
:'''Laura:''' Yep.
:''[The trio begin plating their dishes]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ready? Let's go.
:'''Laura:''' Alright, let's go.
:''[The trio bring their dishes out to the dining room in front of the restaurant staff]''
:'''Narrator:''' Chef Ramsay not only wants the staff to taste the difference between frozen and fresh...
:'''Gordon:''' Not a single item on the plate defrosted anywhere!
:'''Narrator:''' ...he's also looking for the staff to choose which of the three dishes goes on tonight's menu.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, ''[gestures to Laura]'' what is it?
:'''Laura:''' They are blackened shrimp tacos.
:'''Cheryl:''' That looks good.
:'''Gordon:''' Darling, ''[gestures to Perla]'' what is it?
:'''Perla:''' Garlic ''bret''.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[slightly confused]'' Garlic ''bress''...? With...?
:'''Perla:''' Garlic and salt.
:'''Gordon:''' Garlic and salt put on the chicken breast? ''[Perla nods]''
:'''Laura:''' (interview) She just said &quot;garlic, salt&quot; and that's it. It wasn't very creative and umm, that scares me.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, I've got a Florence steak, beautifully marinated. Mango salsa, served with a little bit ''[Perla and Laura groan in defeat]'' of pickled vegetables, finished with an avocado butter.
:'''Staff:''' Yum.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, let's go. Take a taste.
:''[The staff begin tasting the dishes]''
:'''Cheryl:''' ''[tastes Gordon's dish]'' Oh it's so good. (interview) It was amazing to taste Chef Ramsay's dish. You could tell it was gonna taste good just by looking at it.
:''[Robert takes a bite of a shrimp taco]''
:'''Laura:''' How do you-Robert, what do you think of the shrimp?
:'''Robert:''' Really good. ''[Laura does a happy dance]''
:''[The staff taste Perla's dish]''
:'''Waitress:''' ''[quietly, to Robert]'' How's the chicken?
:'''Cheryl:''' (interview) Perla's dish had no flavour. ''[to Gordon]'' It's a little bland. (interview) It needs something to spice it up.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, good. Which dish goes on the menu?
:'''Waitress:''' The mango salsa.
:'''Cheryl:''' Shrimp is really good.
:'''Gordon:''' So both the shrimp and the Florentine steak are specials tonight.
:'''Laura:''' (interview) I'm disappointed in Perla, given her opportunity to try to shine. Unfortunately, I think it fell a bit short.

=== Anna Vincenzo's [3.09] ===
:'''CeCe:''' So he is a bigger asshole than I thought. ''(Talking about Ramsay)''
:'''CeCe's father:''' Fuck him.
:'''CeCe:''' What?
:'''CeCe's father:''' Fuck him.
:'''CeCe:''' Fuck him? ''(Almost laughing)''
:'''CeCe's father:''' Chef Ramsay... surprised nobody break his legs yet...!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[during after-lunch meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' What’s with the defense mechanism?
:'''CeCe:''' (laughs) Oh, my God. Don’t you get defensive if somebody comments on your food like that?
:'''Gordon:''' I don’t cook shit like that.
:''(Ashton has hand over mouth in surprise while CeCe shakes her head in disbelief)''
:'''Gordon:''' When was the last time somebody complained about the food?
:'''CeCe:''' Well, last night.
:'''Gordon:''' Mm-hmm, and what did they say?
:'''CeCe:''' It was bland.
:'''Gordon:''' And were they right or they wrong?
:'''CeCe:''' No, they’re right. But... you’re off the wall with what you’re saying.
:'''Gordon:''' Here’s the difference between you and me: I listen for feedback. You can’t handle it. I came here because you asked me to come and help you, and your reaction to me telling you something quite constructive in a very calm manner is a joke.
:'''CeCe:''' Ok, so you want me to be your fucking puppet?
:'''Gordon:''' Why are you shouting? Why—
:'''CeCe:''' Because you’re pissing me the fuck off!
:'''Gordon:''' So shut the fuck up and talk properly. Is this the way you react when I’m not even here? (to the staff) Is this an old procedure when— it is, yeah?
:'''CeCe:''' Oh, you’re gonna get your fucking ass kicked.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, there you go. Madam, you have an attitude problem. I‘m not too sure which is worse: the food, or the attitude.
:'''CeCe:''' (to the staff) Ooh, can I hit him now? (to Gordon) You know, a lot of people said you were a jerk; I think I believe it. Anything else?
:''(dismayed with CeCe’s attitude, Gordon then turns to leave the restaurant)''
:'''Gordon:''' Fuck this. No fucking way. What a sad case.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[After a disastrous dinner service, CeCe and Gordon are sitting on a bench outside the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon:''' You all right? ''(CeCe is sobbing)'' No, come on.
:''(CeCe continues sobbing)'' 
:'''Gordon:''' I can’t start to even attempt to help unless you come to terms with the problem, and that is the food.
:'''CeCe:''' It’s good when I cook!
:'''Gordon:''' Come on! This is not a game for me!
:'''CeCe:''' It’s not a fucking game for me; this is my life! It’s not a joke for me! Don’t start saying that; it’s not a joke! It’s not a joke for me. I care! If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t fucking be here, so stop saying I don’t care! Just stop, please.
:'''Gordon:''' I haven’t said that!
:'''CeCe:''' Yes, you did.
:'''Gordon:''' What I’m trying to tell you is that you have to come to terms, internally, that there is a huge problem and that is with the food.
:'''CeCe:''' (interview) Nobody wants to hear that anything that they do sucks. I don’t like to fail. Death would be better than failing.
:'''Gordon:''' It’s certainly not a sign of weakness to admit your failings. I’ve closed three restaurants but I also have a number of successful ones. One-thousand, six-hundred and fifty members...
:'''CeCe:''' I know who you are.
:'''Gordon:''' That’s—
:'''CeCe:''' And it’s— It’s— I—
:'''Gordon:''' A “jerk,” you told me earlier.
:'''CeCe:''' Well, you can be a jerk.
:'''Gordon:''' Stop acting like a petulant teenager! I’m not gonna stand there and be a doormat for you to take the piss out of me. Let’s get one thing right: you asked me here and I’m here to help, so let me in.
:'''CeCe:''' Okay, the food sucks. There, you happy?
:'''Gordon:''' There’s a problem with the way the food is prepared, there’s a problem with the way the food is ordered, there’s a problem with the way the food is not respected... I’m sorry, CeCe, but it’s just not good enough.
:''(CeCe sobs some more)''

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 2 [3.10] ===
Casa Roma
:''[Gordon turns around and sees Q, who used to work at Sebastian's]''
:'''Q:''' How are you doing sir?
:'''Gordon''': (to Q) Wait a second. (to Nylah) I recognise this man.
:'''Nylah:''' Ah-ha.
:'''Q:''' How are you doing?
:'''Gordon:''' (to Q) Your first name is...
:'''Q''': Q.
:'''Gordon''': From Sebastian's.
:'''Q:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Possibly one of the most difficult, arrogant, jumped-up owners I have met in my entire life.
:'''Q:''' I thought you'd say that.
:'''Gordon:''' What the hell are you doing here?
:'''Q:''' Good question.

=== Fleming [3.11] ===
:'''Gordon:''' You're the owners?
:'''Andy and Suzanne:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Ok, great. ''(searching through his Danish dictionary)'' Hvordan er du? ''(How are you?)''
:'''Andy:''' I'm sorry. No Danish here.
:'''Gordon:''' But... it is a Danish restaurant?
:'''Andy:''' The Danes have left the building.
:'''Gordon:''' So... the chef's Danish?
:'''Andy and Suzanne:''' No... he's Cuban.
:'''Gordon:''' Cuban...

=== Sushi Ko [3.12] ===
:'''Gordon:''' I've never been to a Japanese restaurant where I can have a pizza... sushi style... and a chef owner that's no longer in the kitchen. I'm nervous.
:'''Cook:''' Just go with it.
:'''Ashleigh:''' Ok.
:'''Gordon:''' Um... that's the sushi pizza?
:'''Ashleigh:''' It sure is. It's rice, salmon, crab, and mayonnaise... some cheese...
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. Thank you darling. Japanese pizza? ''[takes a bite and spits it out]'' Sorry. That... is rancid. ''[to Ashleigh]'' You were right. That... is an insult to pizza, yeah? And Japanese food.
:'''Ashleigh:''' (interview) Chef had fair warning that it was going to be terrible. ''[laughing]''
:'''Gordon:''' Mhm!
:'''Ashleigh:''' I told him not to get it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' Why do all these sticks got burns on them? You-you don't buy them like that do you? Why are they burned?
:'''Akira:''' We ''leuse'' them sometime.
:'''Gordon:''' You what?!
:'''Akira:''' We wash 'em, clean 'em, then use them again.
:'''Gordon:''' I can't believe this is happening! Where's Lisa? ''[Akira walks away]'' And-and no, Akira, don't run away like a snake!
:'''Akira:''' Ok!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

:'''Gordon:''' Uh... Lisa, Akira, look at all this!
:'''Lisa:''' Oh, the spicy mayo?
:'''Gordon:''' So you don't keep mayonnaise in the fridge?
:'''Akira:''' No. That's not required for... refrigeration.
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Akira:''' That's what I heard.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[pointing at the instructions on the mayo bottle]'' &quot;Refrigerate after opening&quot;! ''[holding a bucket of spicy mayo]'' Feel how warm that is!
:'''Akira:''' Maybe, uh...
:'''Gordon:''' How long has that been staying outside for? Truthfully.
:'''Akira:''' Always staying outside, spicy mayonnaise.
:'''Gordon:''' For four years?
:'''Akira:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' This is a Japanese health hazard! This is about you running a restaurant properly. And you're not!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 3 [3.13] ===

== Season 4 ==

=== Spanish Pavilion [4.01] ===
:''[Gordon is not impressed with the lobster bisque]''

:'''Gordon''': It looks like the lobster was dead before they cooked it.
:'''Joe''': The lobster's from the tank. 
:'''Jerry''': You want to take a look?
:''[Gordon goes to take a look]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[points]'' Is he dead?
:'''Jerry''': No, I think they're just sleeping.
:'''Gordon''': Is it? It must be dead.
:'''Balbina''': We keep a good eye on this.
:'''Gordon''': You keep a good eye on them? Surely not. ''[pulls the &quot;sleeping&quot; lobster out of the tank]'' He's fucking dead. A dead lobster! Yeah, he's gone.
:'''Balbina''': Is he?
:'''Gordon''': ''[opens the lobster and smells]'' What I'm concerned about is everything else in there, they've been feeding off that lobster. They've become full of bacteria
:'''Jerry''': (interview) That is extremely unacceptable, dangerous. People could get extremely sick with that. ''[hands the lobster to a waiter]'' I'll get rid of this
:'''Gordon''': Okay, good.
:'''Michael''': ''[in the kitchen, on the phone]'' Alright, love you. Bye
:'''Waiter''': ''[gives the lobster to Michael]'' He smelled it.
:'''Michael''': ''[smells the lobster]'' They don't smell! (interview) That lobster's fresh. Even though it died, it's... good.

=== Classic American [4.02] ===
:''[Gordon meets Dominick, thinking he's the owner]''
:'''Gordon''': You look live you've been in this business for thirty years.
:'''Dominick''': I haven't.
:'''Gordon''': Oh really?
:'''Dominick''': Six years.
:'''Gordon''': What were you doing before that?
:'''Dominick''': Laying brick.
:'''Gordon''': ''[after doing a double take]'' So it's you and who?
:'''Dominick''': Colleen and Naomi. They own the place.
:'''Gordon''': OK, brilliant.
:'''Dominick''': I'm actually going out with Colleen.
:'''Gordon''': You're going out with Colleen?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, so you're going out with one of the owners?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Ex-customer?
:'''Dominick''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': &lt;i&gt;Right.&lt;/i&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon reads the sign by the front door]''
:'''Gordon''': 'Enter as strangers, leave as friends'... Enter a stranger, start dating the owner.

=== PJ's Steakhouse [4.03] ===

:''[Gordon orders crab cakes]''
:'''Gordon''': Somebody spit on my food? What is that?
:'''Server''': It's coulis mango sauce.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, coulis mango. Thank you. ''[she leaves]'' Looks like something out of a modern art museum. Splat! Okay...  ''[takes a bite]'' Wow. That's fucking disgusting. It's rancid. Plastic bits of crap running through the crab cakes.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': PJ's Steakhouse? &quot;Pathetic Joke&quot;! That's what it stands for!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 4 [4.04] ===

=== Grasshopper Also [4.05] ===
:''[Gordon tries a French onion soup]''
:'''Gordon:''' Jesus. It's like somebody's dropped sliced onions into boiling dishwater. Dreadful.
:'''Maureen:''' How's the French onion?
:'''Gordon:''' Off to a bad start unfortunately. It's like somebody's pissed in my soup.
:'''Maureen:''' That's not good, we'll take this away.
:''[The soup was returned to the staff]''
:'''Maureen:''' Guys, the French onion, he said it's like piss. The flavor he said was no good.
:'''Chief:''' (to Mitch) I told you the onion soup wasn't right.
:'''Mitch:''' We know, I know.
:'''Chief:''' But how are you going to educate these guys to do that right?
:'''Mitch:''' I don't know, I'll find out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon looks at the shepherd's pie]''
:'''Gordon:''' That gravy's made from...
:'''Annette:''' Beef.
:'''Gordon:''' Beef stock on a shepherd's pie.
:'''Annette:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' A shepherd's pie is made out of...
:'''Annette:''' This one is actually beef.
:'''Gordon:''' Then it's a cottage pie, not a shepherd's pie, because the shepherd stands for the...
:'''Annette:''' The sheep.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Maureen tastes the shepherd's pie]''
:'''Gordon:''' Bad, that's gross.
:'''Maureen:''' And it's not hot either.
:'''Gordon:''' That's part of the reason why I'm not coming back because it's watery.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief''': (to Annette) He ''(Mitch)'' doesn't know what he's doing. Mitch is fucking up everything here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon tries a fisherman's platter. One of the scallops tasted bad]''
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking hell, my God.
:'''Annette:''' Oh Lord.
:'''Gordon:''' That's gross.
:'''Annette:''' No good, Chef?
:'''Gordon:''' It's soft, bland, rubbery. I didn't realize it would be this bad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief:''' (to Maureen) Mitch can be blind and I'm not kidding you. He's fucking me over here. All you have to do is do what I told you.
:'''Maureen:''' Yeah. Well, I'm not even going there, Dad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' Thoroughly disgusted with lunch, Chef Ramsay wants to meet the chefs responsible for this supposed &quot;authentic&quot; Irish cuisine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' (to Chief) You're from Ireland.
:'''Chief:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What happened here today had nothing to do with Ireland. Shepherd's pie - well, fuck me, that wasn't shepherd's pie. If you went to Dublin and you served shepherd's pie like that, they would shoot you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some mozzarella sticks]''
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?
:'''Gabriel:''' Mozzarella sticks.
:''[Gordon finds some blood in the mozzarella sticks]''
:'''Gordon:''' Can you see that there? Blood, blood from where?
:'''Gabriel:''' From the meat.
:'''Gordon:''' Blood from the meat on the mozzarella sticks.
:''[Gordon throws the box of mozzarella sticks into a bin]''
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, guys. Thank God I didn't have the fucking mozzarella sticks. Look like a blood transfusion going on down there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some meat in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon:''' You've got raw meat here, cooked meat, salami with blood in there. Fuck, come on, please. Don't do this to yourselves, let alone the customers. Rule number one: When learning to cook, you cannot store raw meat and cooked meat on the same fucking shelf in the same fucking fridge. The whole fucking thing has got a cross-contamination. Chief, give me something.
:'''Chief:''' There's a lack of supervision in here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon finds some slimy chicken tenders]''
:'''Gordon:''' What's in there?
:'''Gabriel:''' Tenders.
:'''Gordon:''' Chicken tenders. Why is it all bubbly and slimy?
:'''Gabriel:''' The chicken comes like that.
:'''Gordon:''' The chicken comes like that. Look how slimy it is, look how slimy it is. Look at it. Shit!
:'''Maureen:''' (interview) My God, it's ribid, it's so embarassing.
:''[Gordon finds a large piece of salmon]''
:'''Gordon:''' What is this? How can you serve that? It's like it's been left out for days and it's been attacked by cats.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annette:''' It's an absolute waste.
:'''Maureen:''' I know because I pay the bills.
:'''Gordon:''' I would never, ''never'' have put a spoon of anything in my mouth if I knew this was taking place.
:'''Annette:''' (interview) It's shocking to see just the extent of cross-contamination. There's no check-up.
:'''Gordon:''' (to Chief) Sorry, Chief. You may be the chief, but I swear to God, there's one thing that Grasshopper hasn't got is a LEADER.
:'''Maureen:''' (interview) We should all be ashamed of ourselves. At this point in time, I'd like to shot the doors and just say, &quot;You know what? Break it off.&quot;
:'''Gordon:''' (to Mitch, Maureen and Chief) Someone's got to help me here a little bit. I cannot help a situation who are not willing to help themselves, and you don't need me to come in here and turn your fridge upside-down. Mitch, if you're the one with the hands-on role in this business, and you're ''(Maureen)'' supporting him, and you're ''(Chief)'' the mentoring figure, we're screwed.
:'''Maureen:''' We have people coming tonight. What are we going to do?
:'''Gordon:''' I can guarantee you one thing. I am NOT serving food tonight with that shit in there - no way.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Gordon personally brings back a poorly prepared Shepherd's Pie to the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Let me just tell you something, when I was busting my chops earlier making it for you, I turned my back for five minutes and you send that out.
:'''Mitch''': Chef.
:'''Gordon''': Chef? Come on, guys. On the back of 115 customers in two-and-a-half hours, the results are that.
:'''Annette''': (interview) Chef Ramsay was like, &quot;To hell with all these!&quot; There was like no passion, no care for any of the food coming out.
:'''Gordon''': All you fuckers get paid?! WHERE'S THE WORRY ON YOUR FACES?! IF YOU WERE MY BRIGADE, I WOULD'VE FIRED YOU FUCKING SIXTEEN YEARS AGO!! '''YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU''' '''and''' '''''FUCKING YOU!!!'''''
:'''Mitch''': Fuck!

=== Davide [4.06] ===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Clips before Gordon arrives, showing the animosity between brothers Frank and Anthony caused by Anthony secretly taking money from the business in the past to buy painkillers for his addiction]''
:'''Frank:''' Hey moron! This is your table!
:'''Anthony:''' Get the fuck out of here, really.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Caesar salad is made and served tableside. Waiter Andrew pushes a cart of ingredients to Gordon's table]''
:'''Gordon:''' Brilliant. Tableside Caesar. North end of Boston, right?
:'''Andrew:''' Yep.
:'''Gordon:''' You're going right to the very basics, you've got an egg yolk there as well?
:'''Andrew:''' Egg yolk, garlic, anchovies.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) Who would've ever thought: I would be making a Caesar for Gordon Ramsay?
:''[Andrew pours something from a small can into the bowl, and drops the can]''
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) I love doing the Caesar salad. I put a lot of enthusiasm into it. 
:''[Shot of Andrew adding a liquid to the bowl and stirring. Text reading &quot;Waiting 2 Minutes&quot; appears, which quickly transitions to &quot;3 Minutes&quot;, &quot;5 Minutes&quot;, and &quot;7 Minutes&quot;. Andrew then plops the lettuce into the bowl. &quot;8 Minutes&quot; appears as Andrew serves the salad]''
:'''Andrew:''' Here's the Caesar.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, great. Thank you. ''[tastes]'' Have you just washed that salad?
:'''Andrew:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' You just washed it there?
:'''Andrew:''' Yep.
:'''Gordon:''' 'Cause it is soaking wet. So, all the dressing has just run off it because the lettuce is soaking wet. To dress a Caesar salad, the salad has to be crisp, but dry. So you made all that freaking work for nothing.
:'''Andrew:''' (interview) Oh my God. Even it's for nothing.

=== DownCity [4.07] ===
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After discovering they don’t have a head chef]''
:'''Gordon''': Abby, what you’re employing is a ship with no captain at the helm and a team desperate for guidance. No guidance is no standards; no standards is no consistency. So, who came up with the menu? If this is American comfort food, somebody’s dreaming here.
:'''Abby''': I did. I did; I take full responsibility for the menu.
:'''Gordon''': You have no cooking background but you put the menu together? Abby, you’ve got to understand how frustrating this is. It’s ridiculous!
:'''Abby''': I don’t know what to say. Fix it. You fix it! That’s why you’re here.
:'''Gordon''': Oh come on, Abby! How can I fix it when you stand there in front of your team rating YOU and your restaurant and your food 10 out of 10? Dreamer!
:'''Abby''': I don’t... I don’t think it’s as bad as you say it’s...
:'''Gordon''': Stop being in denial!
:'''Abby''': Can you be more specific about the meat loaf? What did you not like about the meat loaf?
:'''Gordon''': (in disbelief) Oh, SHIT!
:'''Abby''': Can you say something besides...
:'''Gordon''': You’re loopy!
:'''Abby''': I’ve been called worse than that.
:'''Gordon''': Wake up and admit it’s shit!
:'''Abby''': Bring it on.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on.
:'''Abby''': Bring it on.
:'''Gordon''': What do you mean, “bring it on”?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Abby lies on the chairs after receiving a harsh critique from Gordon]''
:'''Abby''': So what do I do? Like, just get out of the restaurant business? Then, obviously, my thirty years in business is, like, worthless and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing? Okay! I think I'm going to open that hot dog stand down the beach.
:'''Mini''': Want some tea or something?
:'''Abby''': No!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During a staff meeting]''
:'''Abby''': I don't really care what he says.
:'''Will''': Well, I mean...
:'''Abby''': He's so completely full of shit. Like, seriously? Our meat loaf is, like, what put us on the map! I mean, it's great!
:'''Nick''': I don't like the meat loaf.
:'''Abby''': (flabbergasted) You really don't?
:'''Nick''': I honestly don't.
:'''Mini''': We had it the other night together.
:'''Abby''': What? What-what didn't you like about it?
:'''Mini''': I think our food is mediocre, if it's not...
:'''Abby''': Mini-Me, seriously!? You're telling me now you don't like it!?
:'''Mini''': We eat it because we're here. This is not my restaurant of choice. I will not dine here in my off time.
:'''Abby''': You're saying, for what we serve -- comfort food, meat loaf, pastas, steak, whatever -- you're saying, for those--
:'''Mini''': It's not up to par even for that.
:''(the rest of the staff concurs)''
:'''Abby''': So now you're all telling me that you don't like the menu?
:''(the staff nods their heads, and Abby looks disappointed)''
:'''Abby''': (testimonial) I feel stabbed in the back, I guess. (back at the staff meeting) You're just hitting me with this, now?
:'''Nick''': You know what we're up against if we even opened our mouths about the menu once? Every time we open our mouths, &quot;Fuck off!&quot; &quot;Fuck you!&quot; &quot;You don't know anything!&quot; We're all at a point now where we're just like, &quot;If this is what she wants, let's just serve it out! We'll take it out of the window and bring it to the table!&quot;
:'''Mini''': We were trying to make the best out of it.
:'''Nick''': What are we going to have an opinion about now?
:'''Abby''': Oh, you're so full of shit! (walks out of the meeting)
:'''Mini''': (tries to bring Abby back) No, no, no, no.
:'''Abby''': You're so full of shit! No!
:'''Mini''': Talk to us! (testimonial) Without a doubt, she's in denial.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gordon has found rotting food in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon''': You haven't got a head chef?
:'''Abby''': Jimmy is my head chef.
:'''Gordon''': So we have a head chef. Before, you weren't ready to confirm he was a head chef. All of a sudden, we discover this mess down here. Now, he's appointed.
:'''Abby''': Rico, why don't we just sell the place and just get out of the business?
:'''Gordon''': Why don't we what?!
:'''Abby''': I was talking to Rico. It has nothing to do with you.
:'''Gordon''': Has nothing to do with me?
:'''Abby''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Excuse me? What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying--
:'''Abby''': You're being a fucking asshole! This wasn't like this. I don't run a kitchen like this!
:'''Gordon''': Hold on a minute. You're calling me a fucking arsehole?!
:'''Abby''': I am!
:'''Gordon''': You stuck-up precious little bitch! Let me tell you something!
:'''Abby''': Oh, boy. Here we go.
:'''Gordon''': Listen to me!
:'''Abby''': I'm not going to listen to you.
:'''Gordon''': You're in denial!
:'''Abby''': I'm not in denial!
:'''Gordon''': Yes, you are! Yes, you are! You can't even accept it!
:'''Abby''': Fuck you!
:'''Gordon''': And you walk out again!
:'''Abby''': I am! (Flips off Gordon) Fuck you! (walks upstairs)
:'''Gordon''': There you go. Flip the bird? That's your attitude? (to Rico) And that's your partner? I'm really sorry, but this wasn't like this before I got here? She's deluded, that woman.
:'''Abby''': You are insane!
:'''Gordon''': Blame me all you want! Easy excuse, isn't it? You're insane!
:'''Abby''': I'm insane? You're insane! You're fucking insane!
:'''Gordon''': You can't even handle the fucking truth!
:'''Abby''': That refrigerator was not like that before you got here.
:'''Gordon''': You're in denial. Flip out again!
:'''Abby''': I would NEVER allow that refrigerator to go like that!
:'''Gordon''': And those BONES?! The mouldy lamb bones?!
:'''Abby''': I don't even talk to my staff like this! Why don't you get the fuck out of my restaurant?!
:'''Gordon''': You want me to go? I will go.
:'''Abby''': I would love you to go! Get the fuck out of my restaurant, please!
:'''Gordon''': YOU ARE SO IN DENIAL, YOU NEED THERAPY!!
:'''Abby''': You're a disgrace to this industry! Fuck you and get out of my restaurant! Are you still here?
:'''Gordon''': (to the cameraman) Not now, guys, please, Please, please.
:'''Abby''': Fuck him!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 5 [4.08] ===
Three worst inspections
:'''Narrator''': When Chef Ramsay goes to work on any of the restaurants, he always does a thorough kitchen inspection. And while some are absolutely fine, others are a disgusting mess. Here are the three worst inspections in ''Kitchen Nightmares'' history.
:Number three: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Fiesta_Sunrise_.5B2.10.5D Fiesta Sunrise], a Mexican restaurant in West Nyack, New York.
:Number two: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Seascape_Inn_.5B1.04.5D Seascape Inn], a family restaurant in Islip, New York.
:And number one: [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Dillon.27s_.5B1.02.5D Dillon's], an Indian restaurant in New York City.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
Gordon's top three fights of all time
:'''Narrator''': ''Kitchen Nightmares'' has seen its shares of arguments, but we've selected the three biggest blow-ups.
:We begin with number three, which took place at [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Peter.27s_.5B1.01.5D Peter's] in Babylon, New York, where Peter took his anger out not at Chef Ramsay, but on a bill collector.
:Number two goes to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#Sebastian.27s_.5B1.06.5D Sebastian's] in Burbank, California, where this owner ''(Sebastian)'' had trouble facing the truth, and he literally chased Chef Ramsay down.
:And the number one spot goes to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kitchen_Nightmares_%28uncensored%29#The_Secret_Garden_.5B1.10.5D Secret Garden] in Moorpark, California, where Gordon had seen enough of owner Michel's antics.

=== Tavolini [4.09] ===

=== Kingston Cafe [4.10] ===

:''(Gordon is lifting a tray with about 30 salads in martini glasses)''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, my God. You are kidding me. Jesus Christ! Who's doing all this? Oh, my good God.
:'''Una''': Um, Gordon, if you continue like that, Jesus Christ is actually going to appear.
:'''Gordon''': I hope so, because that's what's needed right now.

=== La Frite [4.11] ===
:''[Gordon has discovered burnt quiche about to be sent out]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Celine]'' What is that?
:'''Celine''': That's quiche but it's been overcooked.
:'''Gordon''': You are kidding me.
:'''Celine''': He (Martin) don't listen to my opinions because it's me.
:'''Gordon''': Martin?
:'''Martin''': Yeah, talk to me.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah come around please. I am talking to you.
:'''Martin''': Yes, sir.
:'''Gordon''': ''[reveals the burnt bottom of the quiche]'' Are you serious?
:'''Martin''': Ok, one more coming up.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Alex]'' I just said to Martin, would you come around a minute, serving that.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' Yeah, I know.
:'''Gordon''': You don't walk away and ignore me.
:'''Celine''': (interview) Alex has never taken confrontation well. You try to talk to him about something and he just walks away.
:'''Gordon''': ''[throws the burnt dish out and walks out to the dining room to Alex]'' Are you joking around or are you ignoring me like this? Just sort of given up, have you given up?
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I have not given up. Absolutely not. Look at the restaurant. It's wonderful.
:'''Gordon''': But you're walking around with a big bravado- &quot;It's wonderful&quot;?
:'''Alex''': Uh-huh.
:'''Gordon''': ''[outside]'' Wow. This is the most disorganized restaurant I've ever seen. Martin the chef, he's burnt out. Alex, well he's so laid-back he's almost comatose. Andre the owner who makes all the decisions, he's at a freaking hockey game. And the only one who cares, Celine, everybody ignores her. Unbelievable. Oh by the way, the food sucks. Unreal.
:'''Customer 1''': It's chewy and the sauce is very gooey.
:'''Customer 2''': The lamb has got like no flavour.
:'''Waitress''': Oh, no. I'm sorry. ''[to the chefs]'' Ughhh, they said the lamb has no flavour.
:'''Celine''': Yep, okay. I know why it doesn't. We didn't salt and pepper it.
:'''Gordon''': They're not even seasoning it?
:'''Celine''': Bring on the menu, let Alex know what table it is, please.
:'''Gordon''': Alex, so that's just coming back now.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' Thanks Gordon. Thanks a lot.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Celine]'' Is this normal that he doesn't care?
:'''Celine''': Mhm.
:'''Alex''': Celine, you know what, this is really, this is gonna fuck us up. 
:'''Gordon''': You better get a grip.
:'''Celine''': ''[leaving]'' I can't get in the middle.
:'''Alex''': It's really sad. (interview) We've been running the restaurant for 38 years and things don't need to change.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Alex]'' You're not real.
:'''Celine''': ''[crying outside]'' (interview) That hurts. I love my brother and I know he's better than what he's doing here right now. And I wish he would realize that everybody's here to help. Otherwise, Alex will ruin me.
:'''Gordon''': Alex, look at me. Don't bully your sister; bully me.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I'm not bullying anybody Gordon.
:''[Shot of Celine crying outside]''
:'''Gordon''': Take a bit of responsibility.
:'''Alex''': ''[flatly]'' I am.
:'''Gordon''': Wow, what a fucking sponge.

=== Capri [4.12] ===

:'''Jim''': Ready to get out of the business?
:'''Jeff''': No. Don't say that. ''[cries]''
:'''Jim''': Come on, stop crying. Fucking grow up, you pussy!
:'''Jeff''': Fuck you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' Thanks to Chef Ramsay's encouragement, Jeff jumps back into dinner service and tries to help his brother Jim get the kitchen back on track.
:'''Jeff:''' Keep it up, Jim. You're doing a good job.
:'''Narrator:''' But unfortunately, he only makes matters worse.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[looking at a raw chicken breast]'' Jim, what have you done to those?
:'''Jim:''' I don't know what happened to those. I really don't.
:'''Gordon:''' You defrosted them in the bag?
:'''Jim:''' I think I defrosted them in the bag and I...
:'''Gordon:''' Jeff.
:'''Jeff:''' Yeah?
:'''Gordon:''' The chicken tenders. What did you do to defrost them?
:'''Jeff:''' I put it on the steam table.
:'''Gordon:''' You defrosted them in the steam table from frozen?
:'''Jeff:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my god.
:'''Jeff:''' Not what you're supposed to do?
:'''Gordon:''' No! Frozen food needs to be defrosted naturally.
:'''Jim:''' Right.
:'''Gordon:''' Give me the bag. Where's the bag? ''[takes the bag from Jim]'' Jesus Christ! ''[opens the bag to find slimy chicken]'' Oh, God almighty! We can't serve them! You'll fucking kill somebody! Jim, talk to me!
:'''Jim:''' What am I supposed to say? It's a mistake.
:'''Gordon:''' It's a lethal mistake! Is that what I ate lunch time?
:'''Jim:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, fucking... I've been feeling a little bit crap all afternoon. What are you two doing?
:'''Jim:''' I fucked up.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;I fucked up&quot;?
:'''Jim:''' Well, what do you want me to say?
:'''Gordon:''' I want you to step up to the plate and be a man!
:'''Jim:''' I screwed up!
:'''Gordon:''' You haven't told anyone yet.
:'''Jim:''' (interview) He was just being a jerk! He's an ass. I'm so tired of him just pushing and pushing!
:'''Gordon:''' Grow some balls and take it off the menu!
:'''Jim:''' (interview) I've had enough. I'm so pissed! I can only take so much before I fight back.
:'''Jeff:''' ''[Jim steps out of the kitchen and walks into the dining room]'' Jim! Jim!
:'''Jim:''' Out of the way! ''[announcing]'' Ladies and gentlemen! Due to certain circumstance, we have no chicken tonight. ''[Gordon groans]'' My apology to everyone here. If you just want to have what you're eating now and leave, I understand fully and I apologize.
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, there may have been a more subtle way of doing that.
:'''Jim:''' Get out of my way, prick! We canceled all our chicken orders. We got screwed!
:'''Gordon:''' Will you stop acting like a baby?
:'''Jim:''' Oh, blow it out your ass!
:'''Gordon:''' Excuse me?!
:'''Jim:''' You heard it!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey, you need a little diaper changing? That time of night?
:'''Jim:''' I'll give you something!
:'''Gordon:''' A little poo-poo? Cacked your pants?
:'''Jim:''' (interview) He's the baby. He's the one that's whining over everything. I don't need to hear this crap.
:'''Gordon:''' Jim, why do you have to behave like this?
:'''Jim:''' I'm not going to get yelled at!
:'''Gordon:''' You're walking around like a big baby. I'm just asking you to grow up a little bit! Show a little respect for what you're trying to cook.
:'''Jim:''' Fuck off!
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! You big wet noodle! Do you want a blanket and a bottle?
:'''Jim:''' Do you need one? Upside the head?
:'''Jeff:''' Jim, stop it, please.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my god. What a spoiled brat!
:'''Jim:''' Fuck you!
:'''Jeff:''' Jim, shut up, please! You're not helping the cause. ''[Jim's pan catches fire]''
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! Now he's setting himself on fire.
:'''Jim:''' I hope so.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Darian]'' Are they always acting this childish?
:'''Darian:''' Oh, yeah. They don't get their way, they cry or throw a temper tantrum.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God. To walk into the dining room like that and scream.
:'''Darian:''' That's what I said. A temper tantrum. (interview) There's a part of me that's very satisfied to see the boys finally get what they deserve. A lesson in humility. ''[back in the kitchen]'' Hahaha!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after dinner service]''
:'''Gordon''': Okay, today can be summed up in one four-letter word: lazy. I can't even start to help both of you when you're not even helping yourselves. I really needed you to do something. Both of you, go through your kitchen and clean it. Not your staff. You. Both of you. Got it?
:'''Jeff &amp; Jim''': ''[simultaneously]'' Yep.
:'''Gordon''': Good night. Get to work. ''[leaves]''
:'''Jeff''': (interview) We were lazy. Now we're paying for it. We're failures. ''[in the restaurant]'' Yay.
:'''Jim''': ''[sobbing while scrubbing a refrigerator grate]'' It's making it dirtier. Can't...do this.
:'''Jeff''': What's wrong Jim?
:'''Jim''': I can't clean anything. I'm a failure. I'm making a mess. (interview) I feel bad. We are in trouble. I really don't know if we can fix it. That's the problem. ''[in the kitchen]'' I'm not cleaning anything up.
:'''Jeff''': Go take a break Jim.
:'''Jim''': No, I can't take a break, cause I'm too lazy as it is. I'm fine. I got to clean this up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jeff:''' By the way, we have HOMEMADE MEATBALLS!

=== Zeke's [4.13] ===
:'''Gordon:''' I saw on the menu, the &quot;Oysters--&quot;
:'''Candace:''' The Oysters Cortello.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[gives her a meaningful look]''
:'''Candace:''' It's an invented dish for our restaurant. The Cortellos are Darryl and Ellen, so they made it up.
:'''Gordon:''' So the owners have named an oyster after them?
:'''Candace:''' Yes, they have.
:'''Gordon:''' They bought the restaurant, now they want their name on the menu.
:'''Candace:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Sounds like someone's struggling for power!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Sampling the 'Oysters Cortello']''
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. They're dreadful. Oysters named after the owner? I sure wouldn't put my name on that. I wouldn't even put my enemy's name on that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Darryl, the owner, has divided the entrees in small portions in order to cut costs]''
:'''Gordon:''' How does this work? Emil, when were these done?
:'''Emil:''' Last night.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are they bagged?
:'''Emil:''' He portions them out to order.
:'''Gordon:''' Really? ''[Watches Darryl's side-eye]'' What's the idea of putting everything in bags?
:'''Emil:''' Portion size.
:'''Gordon:''' Portion size?
:'''Darryl:''' ''[interview]'' I like to have everything in quantitative perspective. If I give too much, you get a &lt;i&gt;happy&lt;/i&gt; customer here, you don't get a &lt;i&gt;good&lt;/i&gt; customer. They're happy because they're getting three times what they should be getting, and I'm getting nothing. I don't make money on that.
:'''Gordon:''' It's food. We're not cutting, uh, piping for the bathroom.

=== Oceana [4.14] ===

:''[Gordon's blackened duck has been sent back to the kitchen]''
:'''Moe:''' Oh, my God. ''[groans]'' It's tough?
:'''Rami:''' Look how tough the duck is! 
:'''Moe:''' You said it's tough?
:'''Rami:''' It is tough, man! Cut it! And look- I'm 500 pounds, and look... ''[tries to cut it]''
:'''Damon:''' It is ''not'' tough.
:'''Rami:''' The meat is tough!
:'''Moe:''' I'm hungry and I'm going to eat it my fucking self.
:'''Rami:''' Enjoy it then!
:'''Moe:''' (interview) That's my favorite dish on the menu. And that duck is not going ''nowhere''. This is going to stay quacking on ''my'' menu. ''[in the kitchen]'' I don't give a fuck if he doesn't like it. ''[takes a bite]'' Man, this duck is so fucking good, man. (interview) Oh my gosh ''[kisses]''. ''[in the kitchen]'' Hey look, that's the skin.
:'''Rami:''' It's tough. (interview) Moe doesn't get it. He doesn't want to listen, he still thinks it's tender. I don't know what kind of teeth he has.
:'''Moe:''' You know what? I'd like him to come back here and cook the duck and show him what his duck gonna look like. We're going to call it the &quot;Gordon duck!&quot; ''[laughs; Gordon overhears]'' It's going to be a British duck right there! ''[laughs]''
:'''Gordon:''' What the hell's going on in there?
:'''Rami:''' How's it going, Chef?
:'''Gordon:''' They're laughing. What is going on in there?
:'''Rami:''' The food is coming back to the kitchen and they think it's a joke.
:'''Gordon:''' Um, can I meet the chef?
:'''Rami:''' Absolutely.
:'''Damon:''' ''[mocking Gordon back in the kitchen]'' &quot;It's bloody dreadful! Fucking bloody!&quot;
:'''Moe:''' (interview) Chef Ramsay is clueless. I really don't think that British can cook. Period.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Damon, executive chef? How long have you been here?
:'''Damon:''' About six and a half months.
:'''Gordon:''' I don't know where to start, but here's the thing: the food is embarrassing. No passion, no flavour. The crab cakes, they weren't made fresh. Do you freeze crab cakes? Damon?
:'''Damon:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' You don't freeze them? Soggy, covered in sauce?
:'''Rami:''' Chef, I'd like to step on this side, to be on your side, because they do freeze the crab cakes. (interview) I had to step from that line and go to Chef Ramsay's side. How is he going to help us if you're lying to him?
:'''Gordon:''' Why are we lying to each other here? Are they frozen, yes or no?
:'''Damon:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' They are? Why do you want to bullshit me? I could taste they're frozen.
:'''Moe:''' But there's a good reason why we freeze the crab cakes.
:'''Gordon:''' Tell me the good reason behind freezing crab cakes.
:'''Moe:''' Because we don't have enough customers here to serve the crab cakes, so the only thing to prevent them from going bad is to freeze them.
:'''Gordon:''' Why make so many?
:'''Moe:''' The batch is big basically.
:'''Gordon:''' I don't understand this.
:'''Rami:''' Why would you make a big batch?
:'''Moe:''' (interview) Rami... fuck you, you just sold me out to fucking Chef Ramsay!
:'''Gordon:''' Damon, when was the duck cooked?
:'''Damon:''' I can't give you an answer.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on! I mean, what the fuck is this?
:'''Damon:''' I don't know.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[flabbergasted]'' You don't know when the duck was cooked?!
:'''Damon:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you know when the duck was cooked?
:'''Kenny:''' No sir, I don't.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you know when the duck was cooked?
:''[Brad shakes his head]''
:'''Gordon:''' Holy shit!
:'''Moe:''' I know when the fucking duck was cooked! I know!
:'''Gordon:''' Well, thank fuck for that!! Solve the mystery!!
:'''Moe:''' We cook the duck off the premises. And we usually cook it about once a month. 
:'''Gordon:''' You cook the duck ''off the premises''?
:'''Moe:''' Yes, in our commissary kitchen.
:'''Gordon:''' And it stays in the fridge for a ''month''?!
:'''Damon:''' Freezer.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, shit! So, you cook the duck, you freeze it, and then you bring it in like a shipment?
:'''Damon:''' How many fucking times do you want me to say it?
:'''Gordon:''' Because I'm fucking embarrassed! You're just bullshitting me because you haven't got the balls to step up to the fucking plate!
:'''Damon:''' ''[approaches Gordon and gets in his face]'' Well, this is me stepping up to the fucking plate!
:'''Gordon:''' WELL, TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH THEN!!
:'''Damon:''' What the fuck else do you need to know?!
:'''Gordon:''' The truth!!
:''[Rami and Moe push Damon back]''
:'''Rami:''' You can't do that! You can't do that!
:'''Gordon:''' HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!!
:'''Rami:''' You need to chill out! You cannot do that! He's here to help us fix the problem!
:'''Gordon:''' Do I not deserve the fucking truth? I asked you if (the crab cakes) are frozen, you lied. I said when did you cook the duck? &quot;I don't know.&quot; Why couldn't you be honest? If that's how deluded you guys are, that you can't even tell me the truth, I'm really sorry. I'm not here to help fucking liars, let me tell you that. Do you know what? I don't know where to even start. ''[leaves]'' Fuck me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon walks to where the grill is smoking]''
:'''Gordon''': Who told you to put oil under there?
:'''Kenny''': Damon.
:'''Gordon''': The chef? So you spray the grill with oil? ''[coughs]'' Fucking shit!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[finds a container of spoiled shrimp]'' What's this? Oh, fucking hell.
:'''Moe''': Oooooh...
:'''Gordon''': ''[smells the shrimp]'' Oh my... ''[starts coughing and then throws up in a bin]'' Shit! How old are they?
:'''Damon''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Just smell them. ''[Damon smells]'' Smell them.
:'''Moe''': ''[smells]'' Oh! (interview) The smell was like &quot;Argh!&quot; I had no idea... Chef... Damon was doing such a shitty job.
:'''Gordon''': Look at the colour of them! All this shit is tarnished now, the whole fucking lot is tainted!
:'''Rami''': (interview) It's just... unacceptable. I mean Chef Damon should know better, he's an executive chef.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': ''[finding tons of pasta in the fridge]'' I'm trying to help you understand the method in your madness.
:'''Damon''': Hey, asshole, I'm not the one who just said it was done yesterday! I asked my prepper--
:'''Gordon''': You can call me a fucking arsehole all you want. So get fucking angry with me.
:'''Damon''': You're standing right here hearing me ask the person who knows and I gave you his answer, not mine.
:'''Gordon''': Right, who's the fucking chef around here?
:'''Damon''': I am.
:'''Gordon''': Right. Bags of jambalaya, in the fridge, warm. Have you any idea what happens to jambalaya in the fridge when it's still warm in the centre?
:'''Brad''': Grows the bacteria?
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Grows the bacteria&quot;? ''[finds bins of crabs]'' And how many crabs are you selling, &quot;chef&quot;, over the next fucking three months? Lost for words? ''[flabbergasted]'' ''Really?!'' Another box of crab cakes. When were these made? No date, you see, &quot;chef.&quot;
:'''Moe''': (interview) There was nothing but dollar signs going through my mind. Soft shell crabs, jambalaya, crawfish étouffée thrown straight down the garbage. Chef Damon basically just took the money right out of our pockets.
:'''Gordon''': ''[finds a dirty tray]'' I don't what you ''think'' you should be taking out of containers... and sort of... cleaning out your fridge from time to time. One fucking question to you: who's the arsehole now, &quot;chef&quot;?
:'''Damon''': I am. ''[his eyes twitch]''
:'''Gordon''': I didn't come in here to humiliate you. But how DARE you serve me food from this disgusting fridge, then STAND there, and call me an arsehole, &quot;chef&quot;?! Excuse me... &quot;chef&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe:''' I NEED THIS FUCKING PLACE SCRUBBED DOWN, TOP TO BOTTOM! I WANT THE TVs WIPED! I WANT THE PIANO WIPED! I WANT THIS PLACE ''CLEAN''! WHAT PART DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! ''[throws down a chair]'' WE JUST SHUT DOWN THE FUCKING RESTAURANT!!! TONIGHT!!! NOBODY SEEMS TO GET THAT SHIT!!! CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe:''' Today is a wake up call for us. The person who is running this kitchen is not up to this job. He's made a lot of damages to this restaurant and we need to tell him that he needs to go.
:'''Rami:''' Yeah, that's what we should've done a long time ago.
:'''Moe:''' Can you please go get Chef Damon?
:'''Rami:''' (interview) It was always my suggestion that we have to let Chef Damon go, but Moe always told me that he can do the job. Finally, Moe has realized that he's not the right guy for us. 
:''[Rami goes in the kitchen and comes back out with Damon]''
:'''Moe''': Today was a wake up call for me. Chef Ramsay came here and he went to the back and he pointed out all things that are going wrong. Right now, I feel like you are part of this problem.
:'''Damon''': I'm not, Moe.
:'''Moe''': How can you not know that you're not supposed to put the jambalaya when it's hot in the walk in? How can you not know that? You're an executive chef! How can you not know that? Can you explain?
:'''Damon''': I didn't do it. Our prep people did it. I didn't realize that they did it and I've coached them repeatedly to not do that.
:'''Moe''': Chef, the problem is excuses. Every time I tell you we have an issue, you just hit me with nothing but excuses and I'm at a point where I cannot take any more excuses. Do you understand that? Do you understand? We cannot afford to have any more shit happen today! We've lost about five grand! WE SHUT DOWN THE RESTAURANT TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THE KITCHEN ISSUES!! Do you understand that? ''[Damon nods]'' It's the problem and right now you're the one who caused the problem! Do you understand that? Today, I've made a decision. With all due respect chef, today's your last day at the restaurant. Thank you. ''[leaves; afterwards, Damon gives the keys to Rami and leaves as well]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I'm going to do some work in the kitchen. Do you have any recipes...on pen and paper?
:'''Moe''': ''[points to his head]'' Right here.
:'''Gordon''': What?!
:'''Moe''': Right here.
:'''Gordon''': So why aren't they on paper? Why haven't we got a database?
:'''Moe''': I like to keep my recipes secrets. If I put them on a piece of paper, I don't want anyone to steal them.
:'''Gordon:''' Fucking hell. Oh, Jesus Christ. So you're worried that somebody gets the recipe and copies it.
:'''Moe''': Anybody changes my recipe, I'm going to kill them. It's my recipe.
:'''Gordon''': Rami, help me out here will you? Is this for real?
:'''Rami:''' This is what we do everyday chef. ''[Gordon laughs]''
:'''Moe''': You think it's funny but believe what I tell you. 
:'''Gordon''': I don't think it's funny, You're just a little bit deluded.
:'''Moe''': Well you know what? The recipes are in my ''head''.
:'''Gordon''': ''[incredulously]'' Are you ''stupid?!''
:'''Moe''': I am not stupid.
:'''Rami:''' (interview) Moe, you ''are'' stupid. The kitchen absolutely don't know what the fuck to cook because the recipe is in Moe's head! It's crazy.
:'''Moe''': Don't call me stupid in my fucking restaurant! You understand that you need to learn how to talk to people?! This is New Orleans! You understand?!
:'''Gordon''': ''Wow''...
:'''Moe''': This is New Orleans! Don't fucking come down here talking to us like that!
:'''Gordon''': Calm down...
:'''Moe''': I have NEVER been chewed up like you chewed me up! 
:'''Gordon''': Right.
:'''Moe''': (interview) We got nothing but swamp around here! Anybody who talk like that get chopped up and fed to the fucking alligators!
:'''Gordon''': I'm not here to blow smoke up your fucking arse, let me tell you that. I'm here to fix this restaurant. But you are one obstacle, aren't you?
:'''Moe:''' No, I'm an easy-going guy...I listen, I work hard....
:'''Gordon''': But you're a...&quot;busy idiot&quot;.
:'''Moe''':....I don't think he gets it that he needs to watch his language.
:'''Rami:''' But you're not getting that he's here to help us.
:'''Moe:''' But I'm not calling him an idiot, he's calling ''me'' an idiot.
:'''Gordon''': A &quot;busy&quot; idiot.
:'''Moe:''' Busy idiot.
:'''Gordon''': You're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': I mean, I feel like flipping the fucking table right now.
:'''Rami:''' Did you hear what he just said? He just explained it, you're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': (interview) Busy idiot! Is he kidding me?! I will stand up, beat the fuck out of him, and show him who the fucking idiot is!
:'''Gordon''': What is it you want? A fight?
:'''Moe''': My problem is, I want to make this restaurant successful.
:'''Gordon''': So do I. I'm here to help. I don't want to see you running around killing yourself like a busy idiot. I've just gone over the fact that we haven't got any recipes on paper, and all in your head. You're worrying about writing them down for some other chef copying them and making their restaurants more successful than yours. I'm in the real world. That's where I am. You're treating me like one of your fucking staff. Well, let me tell you, ''Moe'', I'm not a member of your staff. Flip the table, punch me, do the fuck what you want to do. But don't fuck with me. Got it?
:'''Moe''': Got it.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you. See you later ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Rami''': (interview) He's (Moe) not understanding that this guy (Gordon) ''can'' make a difference in our lives. ''[to Moe]'' He's British. &quot;Busy idiot&quot; over there means something totally different over here. &quot;Busy idiot&quot; is a good thing ''[pats Moe's shoulder]'', that means you're working hard in the wrong places.
:'''Moe''': &quot;Busy idiot&quot; is a compliment?
:'''Rami''': It's a compliment. He's from British. He doesn't speak English. (interview) I know &quot;busy idiot&quot; is not a compliment but I had to calm Moe down.
:'''Moe''': But he needs to understand that &quot;busy idiot&quot; in America is an insult.
:'''Rami''': Okay, &quot;busy idiot&quot; is a good thing. (interview) I had to tell him it's a compliment so we can move on because other than that, he's gonna keep on going at it with Chef Ramsay and we're not gonna go nowhere. ''[to Moe]'' Let's can we move on?
:'''Moe''': We can move on.
:'''Rami''': Okay.
:'''Moe''': (interview) I'm like you know what, I should have brought a fucking British dictionary. I f- It took me a long fucking time to learn my language. How long is it gonna take me- it's the last thing I wanna do is learn fucking British.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Moe''': If I don't like the changes, I will send him back to British with a black eye.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Moe thinks that running a restaurant on bourbon street is all about having a good time when it should be about dedication and striving for success. That's why I'm not sure that Oceana will be here next year when I come back. Wow. &quot;I've got all the recipes inside my head.&quot; Unbelievable.

== Season 5 ==

=== Blackberry's [5.01] ===

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon sees a wok where Shelly's cooking her food on]''
:'''Gordon:''' Am I seeing right? You've got a three-burner wok there. Is that a pizza oven?
:'''Shelly:''' Yes, that is my pizza oven. And the wok. I love it, chef.
:'''Portia:''' ''[passes between Gordon and Shelly]'' Sorry, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Shelly, how can you cook soul food in a wok?
:'''Shelly:''' Watch me, chef! Watch me!
:'''Mateen:''' (interview) Soul food is supposed to be cooked slowly. Soul food is cooked with love and soul. Not in a wok. Shelly's cooking green beans in a wok, cooking rice in a wok, cabbage in a wok. We're not a Chinese soul-food restaurant. We don't need a wok, okay?
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Mateen]'' That's a first to me. A Southern food restaurant with a Chinese wok and a pizza oven?
:'''Mateen:''' Yeah, the oven that doesn't work, right there.
:'''Gordon:''' Tell me what's working, apart from you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[10 minutes before dinner service begins, Gordon re-enters the restaurant and notices a dead mouse]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh, what is that? Bloody hell. Damn. ''[picks up the mouse]'' Oh my God. Have you got a bin?
:'''Mary:''' Yes, chef?
:'''Gordon:''' The mouse ''[holds it up]''. Just by the front door.
:'''Mary:''' Huh?
:'''Gordon:''' It's by the door!
:'''Mary:''' No! We just had the exterminator.
:'''Gordon:''' You paid for the exterminator?
:'''Mary:''' Sure.
:'''Gordon:''' Get your money back.
:'''Hostess:''' Ok that's not funny.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to the kitchen staff]'' Have we got an incinerator outside? ''[to James]'' Can you take that no? As a general manager, do something with it. ''[Shelly walks up to Gordon]'' The mouse.
:'''Shelly:''' The mouse?
:'''Gordon:''' It was in the entrance as I walked in when I left outside
:'''Shelly:''' A baby mouse? A mouse?
:'''Mary:''' We always have the exterminator once a month for prevention
:'''Shelly:''' Are you serious?
:'''James:''' ''[throwing a box into the dumpster]'' No fucking way.
:'''Shelly:''' A mouse? Come on! At the front door and not even in the kitchen. ''[to the kitchen staff, sarcastically]'' Hey guys, be careful of mice
:'''James:''' ''[to Gordon]'' Can you show me where you found that?
:'''Gordon:''' It was at the front door.
:'''James:''' Where?
:'''Gordon:''' Where's the front door in your mind? ''[Gordon and James walk to the front door.]''
:'''Shelly:''' ''[to the kitchen staff]'' I can't believe that.
:'''Gordon:''' I came in the door, walked there, saw him. Bang, right there. ''[places his foot where the mouse was]''
:'''James:''' Right there? Do you have it on film?
:'''Gordon:''' Are you kidding me? What, you thought I brought it in my pocket?
:'''James:''' I think you did.
:'''Gordon:''' Are you fucking dreaming? I arrived, the mouse was there.
:'''James:''' Never. Never had that. Never. There was never no mouse right here
:'''Gordon:''' Right, okay.
:'''James:''' I'm sure.
:'''Gordon:''' So we have the exterminator last week, they come on regular occasions.
:'''James:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' We have an issue with mice, that's why we have an exterminator
:'''James:''' We don't have an issue with mice. The exterminator comes in regularly
:'''Gordon:''' Okay, let's you and I do a little investigation. Let's go. Dwayne, when was the last time you spotted a mouse in here?
:'''Dwayne:''' I've never seen one.
:'''Gordon:''' You've never seen one. Good. ''[leaves]''
:'''Dwayne:''' ''[to other staff, quietly]'' Except for that one that was under the steam table that was dead a few months back. Almost a year back.

:'''Gordon:''' I walked in the front door - a mouse.
:'''Shelly:''' The mouse that you planted, I know. They told me. But it's okay!
:'''Gordon:''' No, it's not okay.
:'''Shelly:''' It's a show.
:'''Gordon:''' It's got nothing do with TV, nothing to do with your business in the shit. I am ''not'' going to stand there and even ''attempt'' to take that crap from you. You can take your restaurant, and stick it. I am gone. I'm out of here.
:'''Shelly:''' You're out of here? ''I'm'' out of here. ''[pushing past the others]'' Excuse me, go. See you later. Shut it down! Let's go, it's over.

=== Leone's [5.02] ===

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon has asked the chefs to make one of every item on the menu. He returns to find five tables full of plates of food]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh my God! Holy crap. How many items on the menu?
:'''Michael''': Over 100.
:'''Gordon''': 100?! ''[looks around at the staff]'' I mean, physically? The appearance, Jesus Christ. Can I have a knife and fork please? Maybe a bag, fucking sick bag.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Chef Ramsay, I would like to apologize in advance. Everything is just terrible.
:'''Gordon''': ''[looking at several pizzas]'' Let's start here. What's what?
:'''Michael''': Umm...
:'''Trudy''': ''[points to some pizzas]'' This is a sweet onion pie. This is a basic cheese pie.
:'''Gordon''': Crust looks very dark there, is that normal that or is he just having an off day?
:'''Michael''': The oven gets very hot, sir. ''[Gordon's jaw drops]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes a dish]'' Have you tasted that?
:'''Michael''': Mhm.
:'''Gordon''': ''[gives Michael a fork with food on it]'' How bland is that?
:'''Michael''': ''[tastes]'' I think the texture I don't like. The taste...
:'''Gordon''': You like the taste but you don't like the texture?
:'''Michael''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Jesus. ''[lifts a block of rice from another dish]'' Is that rice?
:'''Trudy''': Risotto.
:'''Gordon''': That's risotto? Risotto? Oh come on, guys. I mean fucking, do me a favour ''[plops the rice block down]''. Fuck what stinks here? What's that smell? ''[to Michael]'' Is that you?
:'''Michael''': No, sir. ''[smiles]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[sniffing around the dishes]'' Wha-
:'''Michael''': I don't think so.
:'''Gordon''': ''[picks up a clam from a zuppa di pesce dish and smells it]'' Just smell that. Smell inside ''[Michael smells and nods]''. ''[to Rose]'' I don't want you smelling that, no, not with your state of health, I don't want you back in a coma ''[Rose laughs]''. ''[gives a clam to Michael]'' Taste the clams, quick! ''[spits out his clam]'' Aah, mine's full of grit.
:'''Michael''': Little spongey.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Spongey&quot;? No it's grit, they're not even cleaned.
:'''Trudy''': Grit, yeah.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Trudy]'' Are you crunching grit?
:'''Trudy''': Yeah, yes. Yes.
:'''Gordon''': ''[points to Jon]'' Dirt, sand.
:'''Michael''': How do you clean a clam if it's sealed?
:'''Gordon''': You run them under fucking cold water.
:'''Michael''': Ohhh, I didn't even know that, yeah.
:'''Jon''': (interview) Lord only knows where those clams came from. At least it was just sand, that's all I'm saying.
:'''Gordon''': ''[with another dish]'' What is that?
:'''Michael''': That's our arrabiata.
:'''Gordon''': Why's all the vinegar on there?
:'''Michael''': People like that recipe. They love it, actually.
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes]'' Oh my God. The chillis ''[coughs]'', garlic. I mean, that is a fucking disaster. ''[moves on to another table full of plates]'' Next row? ''[with a chicken savoy dish drenched in balsamic sauce]'' What the fuck is that? ''[Jon smiles]'' What the fuck is it?
:'''Michael''': It's chicken.
:'''Gordon''': In balsamic sauce? ''[tastes]''
:'''Michael''': Yeah, red wine and a balsamic reduction.
:'''Trudy''': Balsamic reduction.
:'''Gordon''': Taste it.
:'''Trudy''': ''[quietly]'' I don't wanna taste it.
:'''Gordon''': It should come with a fucking warning. That will blow your lungs out. I mean- and where about in Italy is that from?
:'''Michael''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, come on. ''[with another dish]'' What is this one?
:'''Trudy''': Pasta reggio.
:'''Gordon''': ''[tastes]'' There's no seasoning in there. ''[compilation of other dishes being tasted]'' Everything's bland. Bland. It's bland! Pasta's bland! ''[compilation of Gordon spitting dishes out]'' Dirt. ''[with a loose tortilla]'' It's like a fucking flip-flop. ''[another compilation of dishes being tasted]'' Look at the garlic in there. Too much garlic. Smell of garlic. Pissing with garlic. Way too much garlic. How many bulbs of garlic is in there? ''[brings a dish to Michael's nose]''
:'''Michael''': A lot of garlic, yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Are they trying to put ''me'' in a hospital for two years? I mean, it's bad. It is bad. I mean, honestly, get me the chefs out here will you please?
:'''Michael''': Sure. (interview) My food even though I think it needs help, it's definitely not that bad. I eat it myself, it's not as bad as the Chef said.
:''[Darryl and Carchi show up in the dining room]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[with the balsamic chicken savoy dish]'' Who made this?
:'''Carchi''': ''[raises his hand]'' I did it.
:'''Gordon''': Have you tasted it? ''[Carchi doesn't respond]'' Have you ever sat down and tasted your own food? Sit down!
:'''Carchi''': With a what happens?
:'''Gordon''': No, not with the happens, sit down. ''[Carchi walks towards Gordon hesitantly]'' Come on, quickly! I need you to taste it!
:'''Carchi''': Yeah. I know it's, it's-
:'''Gordon''': Sit down please!
:'''Carchi''': Yes, chef. ''[sits at a table]''
:'''Gordon''': Welcome to Leone's. ''[places the dish in front of Carchi]'' There we are.
:'''Carchi''': ''[cutting a piece of chicken]'' I know it's, it's, it's... ''[tastes; Darryl is seen also sat down and tasting]''
:'''Gordon''': How does that taste?
:'''Rose''': Can I have a fork please?
:'''Gordon''': No, you're not eating that. No, no, no. I'm not gonna be responsible for putting you back in hospital. Sit down, you are not eating that. ''[to Carchi]'' How does that taste? How. Does. It. Taste?
:'''Carchi''': I don't like, personally. I don't like.
:'''Gordon''': You don't like it?
:'''Carchi''': I don't like it.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Darryl]'' How is that?
:'''Darryl''': It's very vinegary.
:'''Gordon''': Have you tasted your risotto?
:'''Darryl''': Yes, I do taste the risotto.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, stay there. ''[gets up and brings the risotto]'' Have a little taste. Yeah, just have a taste there. ''[places the risotto in front of Darryl]'' Use your knife and fork, have a little taste. ''[Darryl tastes the risotto]'' How does that taste? ''[Darryl spits out the risotto]'' Wow. It's fucking disgusting. And if that's classed as a risotto here in New Jersey. Dude, you gotta get out more. ''[to Carchi]'' What, if any, dish do you like on these tables?
:'''Carchi''': Nothing.
:'''Gordon''': Nothing at all?
:'''Carchi''': The salad.
:'''Gordon''': ''[facepalms]'' When a chef doesn't like his own food. ''[hand across neck cutting motion]'' How the fuck do you expect the customer to? For me, that says it all. ''[to Michael]'' Even your chefs don't like their food!
:'''Michael''': I think it's good.
:'''Gordon''': You think it's good? Wow. Are you in denial or are you just doing this in front of your mother?
:'''Michael''': No I'm not. No, no, I'm not in denial.
:'''Gordon''': I'm gonna get some fresh air. I'll be back later, yeah? ''[leaves]''. ''[quiety, to himself]'' I'd like to catch a plane out of here right now.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon is inspecting the kitchen during service]''
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh Jesus. What is that in there? What is that?
:'''Michael:''' I think it's veal, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' You think it's veal?
:'''Michael:''' Pretty sure it's veal.
:'''Gordon:''' You didn't put it in there.
:'''Michael:''' No, I didn't.
:'''Carchi:''' Darryl, what is that?
:'''Darryl:''' That looks like meat thrown in a pan.
:'''Michael:''' But what is it though?
:'''Darryl:''' I don't know. It's not labeled.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God! Fucking-- Hey. Forget the orders for five minutes. ''[to Carchi]'' Come around, you. Darryl, come 'round. Don't worry about the cooking for now. I got more fucking issues. When was the last time this was organized?
:'''Darryl:''' It hasn't been organized.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, come on. ''[pulls out a jar from the fridge]'' What's that?
:'''Darryl:''' Molasses.
:'''Gordon:''' Molasses?
:'''Darryl:''' Yeah, that's been in there since Thanksgiving.
:'''Gordon:''' ''What''?! It's July! What's that? ''[pulls out an old piece of meat from a container]'' Oh, my God! ''[sniffs the old meat]'' Oh, shit. This is raw pork. It's not ''my'' pork that you served to me, is it?
:'''Carchi:''' No, that's the, uh, the old pork that got left in there.
:'''Gordon:''' That's the old pork?! When's this one from? Not Thanksgiving again? ''[pulls out a container of white sauce]'' Stuffed what?!
:'''Darryl:''' Mushrooms.
:'''Gordon:''' Smell that! ''[brings the container to Carchi's nose]'' Smell it! That's fucking older than me! Smell it! Go on! ''[brings the container to Darryl's nose]''
:'''Michael:''' That's your sauce, Darryl.
:'''Gordon:''' What in the fuck is this? ''[pulls out an old piece of fish]'' Oh, my God! Is that flounder?
:'''Michael:''' It's definitely old.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;Definitely old&quot;?! It's ''green!'' Smell that. ''[brings the flounder to Diana's nose]''
:'''Diana:''' (interview) It was embarrassing. It was mortifying. He comes in something that is easily identifiable, and no one noticed?
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Michael]'' Smell it!
:'''Diana:''' (interview) How is that possible?
:''[Rose walks in]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh.
:'''Rose''': Hi.
:'''Gordon''': Can I just share with you something? Two seconds. Mama Rose, I am absolutely horrified. ''[picks up the 8 month old molasses jar]'' That's from Thanksgiving. ''[picks up the flounder]'' And that, a slimy, vile, sticky flounder. ''[picks up the vat of sauce]'' And a sour disgusting cream sauce. I mean honestly, this restaurant has been run like a pigsty. ''[to Michael]'' You may be resistant to change, but what's become very clear is that you're resistant to quality.
:'''Rose''': (interview) Michael should've been a boss. To begin with having dishwashers and cook have it done... It should've been done. Always.
:'''Gordon:''' All of you, come here! Let's go, come here. How can we work like that? You've got ingredients from LAST Thanksgiving! Did you smell the flounder?
:'''Darryl:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Did you see the cooked chicken, the raw pork, the raw veal? It's a joke! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Under no circumstances, can we continue to serve food. Shut the place down!

=== Mike &amp; Nellie's [5.03] ===

=== Luigi's D'Italia [5.04] ===
:'''Gordon:''' Wow, it's crazy. How does the family restaurant not run as a family?
:'''Dominica:''' They don't get along.
:'''Grace:''' Because he doesn't belong in this restaurant. (to Luigi) Is is true, or no?
:'''Luigi:''' Yeah. We have laziness, it's like an infection. What happens is, when Tony is here, and Linda's here, they have no understanding that number one is the customer. No sitting around. No looking at the TV.
:'''Gordon:''' Watching TV when customers come? Is that true?
:'''Tony:''' I don't -- I don't think that's true.
:'''Grace:''' Tony, he don't care about the customer. He wants to sit and play the computer.
:'''Tony:''' I care about this restaurant. Now, honestly...
:'''Grace:''' No. He play with the computer here, come on!
:'''Luigi:''' The complaints say the people feel neglected.
:'''Tony:''' But the complaints, like, &quot;I don't want to come here when she's there!&quot;
:'''Gordon:''' Customers that don't want to come when you're working? What's that all about?
:'''Grace:''' I don't know. 
:'''Gordon:''' I was just asking. I'm listening.
:'''Tony:''' She's got people that she kisses ass, and they love her. She's got other people that gets blunt in her face, and hate her. Is it right to basically go up to the customer and say, &quot;Fuck you! Get the fuck out of here&quot;?
:'''Grace:''' '''NO! I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I DIDN'T SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot; NOW TELL THAT IS FULL OF SHIT, OKAY? SAY THE TRUTH!'''
:'''Tony:''' That's what you said.
:'''Grace:''' NO! I DIDN'T SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot;
:'''Linda:''' (to Gordon) This is what happens.
:'''Grace:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. (to Gordon) You tell, I did it right or did it wrong?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm just trying to figure out what happened. I mean, I wasn't here. Did she say, &quot;Fuck you&quot;? Did she not say, &quot;Fuck you&quot;?
:'''Tony:''' I thought she did.
:'''Luigi:''' She said that to you.
:'''Tony:''' Oh, yes, she did.
:'''Gordon:''' What did you hear?
:'''Luigi:''' She didn't say that. She said that to you! You forget!
:'''Tony:''' No, no. She got into...
:'''Luigi:''' Why are you forgetful? YOU GOT TO BE HONEST!
:'''Tony:''' I'm being honest!
:'''Luigi:''' You want this guy (Gordon) to help you, or not?
:'''Tony:''' I'm trying to get him to help me!
:'''Luigi:''' Then, you got to say what it is!
:'''Tony:''' I AM!
:'''Luigi:''' NO, YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE LYING!
:'''Tony:''' I'M NOT LYING! YOU GUYS ARE LYING!
:'''Luigi:''' &quot;I think she said, 'Fuck you!'&quot; YOU THINK OR SHE DID?
:'''Grace:''' OKAY! ALL RIGHT!
:'''Tony:''' SHE DID SAY, &quot;FUCK YOU!&quot;
:'''Luigi:''' WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE TO TALK?! We are losing the business...
:'''Grace:''' (points at Tony) '''BECAUSE OF HIM!!! BECAUSE OF HIM!!!'''
:'''Tony:''' (to Gordon) See, that's why we don't get along.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon is served a fried ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' What's inside the ravioli, please?
:'''Joe:''' Ahh, it's a five-cheese stuffed ravioli.
:'''Gordon:''' Five cheeses are...?
:'''Joe:''' Ahh, I am not sure.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Joe:''' It's a pre-made ravioli.
:'''Gordon:''' So not home-made?
:'''Joe:''' Those are not home-made.
:'''Gordon:''' If we don't even make them here, it'd be nice to know what's in them
:'''Joe:''' I'll find out right now for you.
:'''Gordon:''' Thank you
:''[Joe walks towards the kitchen]''
:'''Tony:''' How's it going?
:'''Joe:''' I need to find out what cheeses are in the ravioli.
:'''Tony:''' What cheeses are in the ravioli?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah
:'''Tony:''' ''[to Luigi]'' What kind of cheeses are in the breaded ravioli?
:'''Luigi:''' Read the box
:''[Joe and Tony read through the ingredient sticker on the box of frozen ravioli and Joe writes them down]''
:'''Tony:''' It's a ricotta cheese. It's a ricotta cheese
:''[Cut to Gordon tasting the ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God. Ugh. Horrible. There's something deep-fried, frozen. Doesn't even taste like cheese. ''[splits open a ravioli and smells it]'' Jesus, no.
:''[Cut back to Joe and Tony reading the box]''
:'''Tony:''' You got whole whey, and you got American grana.
:'''Joe:''' And a skim cheese?
:'''Tony:''' Yeah
:'''Joe:''' Okay, perfect.
:'''Tony:''' You got it?
:'''Joe:''' Thank you, yes.
:''[Cut back to Gordon tasting the ravioli]''
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, not good.
:'''Joe:''' Chef Ramsay. I checked on the cheeses for you. Uh, mascarpone.
:'''Gordon:''' Mascarpone.
:'''Joe:''' Ricotta.
:'''Gordon:''' Ricotta.
:'''Joe:''' Uh, also, American grana. Something called a &quot;cheese wheyian culture blend&quot;.
:'''Gordon:''' Where the fuck is that from in Italy?
:'''Joe:''' I don't-I have no idea where that's from.
:'''Gordon:''' Ooh.
:'''Joe:''' And a skim cheese.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[chuckles]'' ''Skimmed'' cheese? In a ''fried'' ravioli? What does that mean?
:'''Joe:''' It's fat-free cheese, dipped in fat.
:'''Gordon:''' Dipped in fat, yeah ''[chuckles]''. Okay. Thank you.
:'''Joe:''' Okay.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to himself]'' Skimmed cheese in a fried ravioli...

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 6 [5.05] ===

=== Greek at the Harbor [5.06] ===

=== Burger Kitchen (Part 1) [5.07] ===

:'''Gordon:''' ''[reads menu]'' Executive chef... David Blaine?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What, the magician?
:'''Alan:''' No, no, no, he's not the magician. He's just coincidentally the same name. He was the head pastry chef at the Peninsula Hotel.
:'''Gordon:''' Now he's the executive chef of the burger restaurant?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' David Copperfield your dessert chef?
:'''Alan:''' ''[flatly]'' No.
:'''Lena:''' ''[in the kitchen]'' David, he was like &quot;Chef David Blaine, like the magician?&quot;
:'''David:''' ''[laughs]'' Too bad I can't disappear from here.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''David:''' I follow the recipes as I am told by the owners and if I try to change the recipes, I am tossed out of here. 
:'''Gordon:''' What?!
:'''Alan:''' That's not quite true.
:'''David:''' It's not true?
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, guys, man up.
:'''David:''' ''[mutters]'' Been drinking again.
:'''Gordon:''' ''Drinking'' again?
:'''Gen:''' My husband doesn't drink.
:'''David:''' I don't know. I don't know. I can't get the truth out of anybody here.
:'''Gordon:''' Explain this to me, Gen. 
:'''Gen:''' He does have a lot of control in the kitchen.
:'''David:''' That's not true, chef.
:'''Gen:''' What about the mushrooms? You changed the whole recipe and you added wine.
:'''David:''' You didn't want ''salt'' on the mushrooms. Let's tell the truth.
:'''Gen:''' Did you add wine to the mushroom recipe?
:'''David:''' That's how you make sautéed mushrooms.
:'''Gen:''' I just asked you a question. Did you add wine?
:'''David:''' Yes, ma'am.
:'''Gen:''' You didn't tell anyone that you added wine to the mushrooms.
:'''Alan:''' Honey, you're missing the point. You're focusing on a ''mushroom''.
:'''Gen:''' Mushrooms are important to me. I'm from Poland.
:''[Gordon shakes his head in disbelief]''
:'''David:''' I think a lot of the problem is, instead of putting sugar in that coffee, put a little [[w:Prozac|Prozac]] in it.
:'''Gen:''' David, I just want the truth.
:'''David:''' This is the truth: I would be better off as a brain surgeon than you running this restaurant.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''David:''' That Gen is a liar, dude. She can't tell the truth.
:'''Jalapeno:''' She's crazy.
:'''David:''' The whole place should be on fucking LSD, man.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon returns to the restaurant after having challenged David to cook his own burger and finds Alan and Gen at a table with a plate containing only a beef patty topped with a slice of cheese]''
:'''Gordon:''' I know you're eating lunch. Don't worry. Please.
:'''Alan:''' I just made a burger. My own ingredients.
:'''Gordon:''' Your own ingredients?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow. So it's not on the menu?
:'''Alan:''' No. You wanna try it? (interview) Some people have called me a meat sculptor or a meat creator. A lot of different celebrities have eaten my food and said it was fantastic. Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' What's in there?
:'''Alan:''' You'll see.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. 
:'''Alan:''' Try it.
:'''Gordon:''' I can see the blood, but what's in there?
:'''Alan:''' It's the wagyu mix but what I've done is I've added certain spices and made a cheeseburger. I don't like a bun.
:'''David:''' (interview) Alan, you're not a meat expert. You don't know a thing about meat. ''[Gordon tastes Alan's burger]'' The only thing you know how to do is sit on the computer there and change menus. That's what you do.
:'''Gordon:''' And you made this?
:'''Alan:''' Yes.
:'''Gen:''' It's amazing. ''[smiles]''
:'''Gordon:''' That is hideous. At least it's seasoned. ''[points to David]'' This is the burger I'm dying for. David, please. Presentation, ah? It looks great.
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Explain please.
:'''David:''' I used a smoked gruyere with grilled tomato, spring mix with a mustard aioli and a jumbo pickle homemade.
:'''Gordon:''' What I had earlier, this looks night and day. ''[cuts the burger]'' Wow, okay. Look at that. Bloody hell, that's what I call a burger. Jesus. And how does it taste? ''[eats the burger; Gen's eyes twitch]'' It's delicious. ''[Gen frowns]''
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Temperature's perfect, and the roll is crispy.
:'''David:''' Yes, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Gen]'' Would you like to have a little taste?
:'''Gen:''' I'd love to. ''[tastes the burger then coughs. David looks shocked]'' What is that strong taste that I'm tasting?
:'''Gordon:''' Gruyere cheese, and it's smoked right?
:'''David:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, I love it.
:'''Gen:''' Does that go through the meat? I taste something stronger in there like a dry-aged or something beef, but I do like my meat red in it. I am a medium-rare girl.
:'''Alan:''' Problem is that's not medium rare, as it should be.
:'''Gordon:''' It may be medium, but I can tell you what, it's bloody juicy. That is delicious.
:'''David:''' Thank you, chef.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, I'd give that 9/10. ''[Gen frowns]'' Love that title there by the way, &quot;Redemption Burger&quot;, and you certainly did that.
:'''David:''' (interview) Suck on this burger, Gen. And you too, Alan.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Narrator:''' While Chef Ramsay has observed many difficult situations over the years...
:'''David:''' GIVE ME MY CHECK!
:'''Narrator:''' ...tonight's dinner service might just be the craziest he has ever seen.
:'''David:''' Give me my check right now ''[Gen tries to protest]'' and post-date it for tomorrow. I'm not playing, I want it ''[claps his hands]''
:'''Gen:''' David, I will write you a check-
:'''Alan:''' David, please stop yelling.
:'''David:''' Okay, just give me my check.
:'''Gen:''' Please stop saying-please stop saying I'm on Prozac-
:'''Alan:''' ''[ushers Gen away]'' Go and write THE CHECK!
:'''Gen:''' (interview) I'm not on anything! He's the one that needs this so-called Prozac. I don't even know what it does!
:'''Daniel:''' What do we- what do we owe you? What do we owe you?
:'''David:''' $1,000.
:'''Daniel:''' $1,000?!
:'''David:''' Just pay it up.
:'''Alan:''' What is your problem when Danny-Gen had nothing to do with that.
:'''David:''' Oh, come on. She is the problem.
:'''Alan:''' ''Danny'' fired you.
:'''David:''' It doesn't matter if God fired me; she's the problem...
:'''Alan:''' Danny fired you, not me.
:'''David:''' The problem in this restaurant, my God, is that lady, Alan.
:'''Alan:''' How can you blame her for something that Danny did?
:'''David:''' I'm not blaming her, I'm just telling her she needs Prozac, I'm telling her the truth.
:'''Alan:''' (interview) To say that she needs Prozac or anything like that, that's below the belt and it's disgusting and I've lost all respect for him.
:''[In the office]''
:'''Gen:''' I'm not on Prozac!
:'''Gordon:''' Who cares if you're on fucking Prozac, don't worry about that.
:'''Daniel:''' Write the check for $1,000...
:'''Gen:''' And you're gonna put the money in tomorrow for us? ''[Daniel protests]''
:'''Gordon:''' How the fuck can ''he'' put the money in?
:'''Wendy:''' No! I don't think so!
:'''Gen:''' Wendy, Wendy, please don't get involved right now.
:'''Wendy:''' (interview; teary-eyed) These people will never respect him. I'm just over Gen and Alan taking money. They're just fucked-up people.
:''[As Gen is about to give the check to David, Wendy takes it from her and returns to the office]''
:'''Wendy:''' You can't do that. You don't have the money in there. I'm sorry.
:'''Gordon:''' Jesus Christ, what?
:''[Alan approaches Wendy in the office]''
:'''Wendy:''' No, it has to be legitimate. Danny's not giving you any more money. He's already given you too much and I'm sorry, that's pissing me off.
:'''Alan:''' It's not YOUR CHOICE!
:'''Gen:''' Alan, please don't yell at a girl.
:'''Wendy:''' I love it.
:'''Gen:''' Alan, please don't yell at a girl. 
:'''Wendy:''' I love it. 
:'''Gen:''' ''[ushers Alan out of the office]'' Please go out, you're too sick.
:'''Wendy:''' &quot;It's not your choice&quot;. It's not Danny's choice either.
:'''Gen:''' Please go out, it's okay.
:'''Wendy:''' It's not Danny's choice either.
:'''Gen:''' Alright. Wendy.. ''[ushers Alan away]'' not tonight...
:'''Wendy:''' This is not a legitimate time part either.
:'''Gen:''' ...and she's a young lady, please don't yell at her.
:''[Wendy flips off Gen and Alan and closes the office door as they leave]''
:'''Gen:''' ''[gives David his final paycheck]'' Alright. Thank you, David.
:'''David:''' Thank you, ma'am.
:'''Gen:''' And David, for the record: I'm not on Prozac, dear.
:'''David:''' Oh, and for the record: YOU SHOULD BE! ''[walks out; Gordon and Alan watch while Gordon holds back a smile]'' Fuckin' meth-heads.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Alan]'' What a joke. Honestly.

=== Burger Kitchen (Part 2) [5.08] ===

=== Michon's [5.09] ===

=== El Greco [5.10] ===
:''[Gordon walks outside the restaurant after seeing all the food being microwaved]''
:'''Gordon:''' This is incredible. The minute you walk into a restaurant with an open kitchen and all the chefs are facing out as opposed to standing in front of the stove, get out. That's what's happening here. Unbelievable.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[After sampling the lamb shank]''
:'''Gordon:''' Now there's a very anaemic-looking lamb shank. Look at the presentation. It's depressing. Almost like it's been in the microwave for an hour. Surely, they wouldn't microwave a lamb shank. I'm a little bit nervous at how grey the meat is. That is way too salty and badly balanced. (to Dustin) Dustin, I mean... it's so salty. Who cooked that, Dustin?
:'''Dustin:''' That's Chef Mike.
:'''Gordon:''' Chef who?
:'''Dustin:''' Chef Mike. ...It's a microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' I thought it was a third chef!
:'''Dustin:''' It kind of is. He does a lot of work in the kitchen.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh.
:'''Dustin:''' ''[to audience]'' We use Chef Mike a lot. Whenever there's lights on in this restaurant, Chef Mike's working. He's a dedicated employee.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[Gordon goes to confront Jake about the kitchen’s constant microwaving of food]''
:'''Gordon:''' Greek restaurant? More like a Greek tragedy.
:'''Jake:''' (interview) It pisses me off. What I think about my food is, it's healthy, it's fresh, it's—it's good. It's damn good.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, reheated microwave food.
:'''Jake:''' Listen, it's not microwave food. I mean, how else am I going to reheat it? You're breaking my balls about getting—reheating it in a microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' ''[points to one of the chefs]'' He's been cooking 14 years. There's a whole stove there; it’s not even being used! And this guy ''(Chef Mike)'' is like this... ''[opens and closes microwave door three times]'' Come on, Jake! Fuck me.
:'''Jake:''' (interview) I don't use the word “microwave.” I'm not cooking it in the microwave. I'm reheating it in the microwave. Big difference. There's a big difference. (normal) I don't think it compromises the food, reheating it that way, but I mean—
:'''Gordon:''' Say that again? You don't think it compromises the food?
:'''Jake:''' I don't think so.
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, my God!
:'''Athena:''' Oh, they’re gonna have a big fight. Oh, my God. ''[begins praying]'' Please, God.
:'''Gordon:''' It doesn't compromise the standard of food? 
:'''Jake:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah, you fuck off. How's that? There we go. Go. Get out of my line.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake.
:'''Jake:''' I gotta—look, I'm trying to put out food...
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, Jake. Let me tell you something.
:'''Jake:''' ...I'm not here to talk about—
:'''Gordon:''' Take your head out of your arse and just start acting like a man and start taking responsibility for something, will you?
:'''Jake:''' I am taking responsibility for it.
:'''Gordon:''' You are? And you think it's smart, telling me to fuck off?
:'''Jake:''' I don’t want to fu—I don't want to fuck around.
:'''Gordon:''' So how about showing a little bit of respect for what you're doing?
:'''Jake:''' Go. Get off my line and let me do my job. Get out of here.
:'''Gordon:''' Jake... Jake, I'll go, with pleasure.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:''[massive argument in the kitchen; all of Kiki’s dialogue is in Greek]''
:'''Gordon:''' The atmosphere in here is horrific. What's going on?
:'''Jake:''' I don't wanna be in here with these two. I really don't. Every time I walk in here, they look for something to complain at me, and then they both gang up on me. And I don't need you to—fucking—me coming in here and you guys yapping and yapping and yapping. I don't wanna hear that shit in the morning.
:'''Kiki:''' What’s he saying? What’s he saying?
:'''Athena:''' He says we constantly complain.
:'''Kiki:''' If we did things right, would we complain? If we did things right and he was worth something, would we complain?
:'''Athena:''' No.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah, whatever.
:'''Gordon:''' Why is she so upset?
:'''Kiki:''' Jake is a big idiot that sleeps until 5pm!
:'''Gordon:''' What was that bit?
:'''Kiki:''' Tell him.
:'''Jake:''' They say I don't come down on time.
:'''Athena:''' No, you never do.
:'''Jake:''' I don't.
:'''Athena:''' You never do.
:'''Jake:''' This is the reason.
:'''Athena:''' No! 
:'''Jake:''' All you do is yell and nag, Athena.
:'''Athena:''' You creating that!
:'''Jake:''' No, I don't create it.
:'''Athena:''' Yes.
:'''Jake:''' Athena, who the hell wants to come down early in the morning and listen to people yelling at them?
:'''Athena:''' I don't know what else I gonna do while I'm up to here with that. I get very upset!
:'''Jake:''' That's what I gotta put up with every morning.
:'''Athena:''' He doesn't give a damn...
:'''Gordon:''' He must give a damn; come on. He can't be that cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' Yeah...
:'''Athena:''' He is cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' ...and sometimes I don't. I mean, I don't wanna deal with this.
:'''Athena:''' He is cold-hearted.
:'''Jake:''' If you put up with this shit for two years, you're not gonna give a damn about it either. You won't!
:'''Gordon:''' They're not your friends; it’s your mum! And your aunt!
:'''Jake:''' Yeah.
:'''Athena:''' He doesn't give a damn about that.
:'''Jake:''' No, but... Why I should I give a damn when you're swearing at me? You're cursing me, you're calling me names all day long?
:'''Kiki:''' You donkey, you dirty bastard.
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) Yeah, dirty bastard.
:'''Kiki:''' Yes.
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) Yes.
:'''Kiki:''' Liar... Lazy bastard.
:'''Jake:''' This is what I gotta put up with every fucking morning.
:'''Kiki:''' All this is because of your laziness.
:'''Jake:''' Every morning. You know what?
:'''Kiki:''' All this is because of your laziness!
:'''Jake:''' You don't need to be here. You and her do not need to be here! I don't need this fucking stress!
:'''Kiki:''' Shame on you, you ass. What do you do here?
:'''Athena:''' (Greek) Calm down.
:'''Kiki:''' What do you do here? What do you know how to cook?
:'''Jake:''' (Greek) What do I do here? All I do is listen to your bullshit!
:'''Kiki:''' I can’t stand him. Only for her debt do I stay, just for her. I’m up to here! Why does your mother keep you here? You’re an animal! Donkey!
:'''Jake:''' Oh, please.
:'''Kiki:''' Get lost! Smelly bastard, go to Hell! 41 years old and your Mom feeds you. You should be ashamed!
:'''Athena:''' (Greek) Kiki, please.
:'''Kiki:''' And you, shut up! You have spoiled him! You’ve made him into an ass!
:'''Jake:''' You two need to just go home.
:'''Kiki:''' Why are you scared to talk back to him?
:'''Jake:''' Go home.
:'''Kiki:''' You made him into a donkey! The only way this restaurant will be fixed is if this guy leaves!
:'''Jake:''' No, I'd be better off with both of you staying home and let me do what I need to fucking do.
:'''Athena:''' Then '''do it!'''
:'''Jake:''' I will! Don't fucking come to work! You and her, leave!

=== Revisited: Gordon Returns 7 [5.11] ===

=== Park's Edge [5.12] ===
:''[Gordon has found rotting food in the refrigerator]''
:'''Gordon''': ''[showing moldy lemons]'' Look what's in the box. Who turns the produce over? Who rotates the freshness?
:'''Jorge''': That's my staff.
:'''Gordon''': Really? ''[tosses the lemons away]'' Fuck me! Seriously?
:'''Jorge''': Why throw my lemons like that for? Why are you taking my product and throwing it away?
:'''Gordon''': THEY'RE MOULDY, YOU PILLOCK! Do you want to see some more? Stay there! Chicken. ''[smells the chicken]'' Fucking hell! Look at this. What's this for? ''[Shows dehydrated potatoes]'' When were those made?
:'''Jorge''': Those were made today. Those are not going to be served to the public.
:'''Gordon''': They're not going to be served to the public.
:'''Jorge''': I'm telling you that I'm not going to serve those!
:'''Gordon''': So you're saving them for what? Talk to me then.
:'''Jorge''': Those were from this morning.
:'''Gordon''': YOU BULLSHITTING LITTLE FUCKER!!
:'''Jorge''': You're the little fucker! I'm telling you, those were made today.
:'''Gordon''': Oh, right!
:'''Jorge''': If you don't fucking believe me, that's your responsibility.
:'''Gordon''': Okay, so, you're lying through your teeth!
:'''Jorge''': I am not lying through my teeth.
:'''Gordon''': Yes, you are! You can't even tell me the truth. Do you know why? Because you don't know and you're a fucking joke!
:'''Jorge''': ''[throws the potatoes away]'' You're a joke too, man!
:'''Gordon''': Are you going to walk off then?
:'''Jorge''': All you're doing is hammering it!
:'''Gordon''': Do you know what? What upsets me more than anything is that you don't realise you're playing at running a restaurant. And the minute you start looking at yourself in the mirror and stop blaming the people around you, the quicker you may get this place turned around. Got it? Good! Fucking joke!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During prep for relaunch night]''
:'''Jorge:''' Okay, so you do the frying station.
:'''Matt:''' I will not absolutely cook a chicken wing.
:'''Jorge:''' What's that?
:'''Matt:''' I don't feel comfortable frying a chicken wing.
:'''Jorge:''' Why not?
:'''Matt:''' Unless she [Andi] wants to put on a pair of orange shorts and go out there serve it.
:'''Jorge:''' They're here to train us, okay. Are you going to turn around and give them a hard time? Check yourself before you check them out, okay? Not going to ask you again. (interview) He has this huge ego about frying chicken which is really irrelevant. He's here to do what I tell him to do, not what he wants to do.
:''[Jorge and Richard bring Matt outside to talk with Gordon]''
:'''Gordon''': What's going on?
:'''Matt''': You put a bunch of fucking chicken wings on the menu and I think somebody ought to fucking put on some orange shorts out there and serve it.
:'''Gordon''': Okay, so how about a little bit of respect and showing these two guys?
:'''Matt''': Well how about a little fucking respect a fine dining restaurant and not put fucking chicken wings on the menu?
:'''Gordon''': A fine dining restaurant?
:'''Jorge''': Are you fucking listening to us?
:'''Gordon''': Who the fuck do you think you are?
:'''Matt''': Who do you think I am? A guy who knows when a menu sucks!
:'''Gordon''': How dare you get jumped up and tell the owners that the menu's shit because you think you know better? Well, why aren't you doing better? Why haven't you got your own restaurant? How about having the intelligence to calm down and to start again?
:'''Jorge''': Is that possible? Yes or no?
:'''Matt''': It's possible.
:'''Richard''': Will you do it? Yes or no?
:'''Matt''': Yes.
:'''Richard''': Thank you.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[During dinner service for relaunch night]''
:'''Matt:''' This is fucking ridiculous!
:'''Gordon:''' Come on, Matt. I know you hate the wings but just serve them please. Hate me, don't hate the wings.
:'''Matt:''' You got your orange shorts? Orange shorts!
:'''Gordon:''' Cut the shit till the end of service. Okay big boy?
:'''Matt:''' Come on!
:'''Gordon:''' Hey you, why do you want to fuck around and take the piss? Let me tell you something really important.
:'''Matt:''' What's that?
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. I've fucking forgotten more than you know. Just serve the food and shut the fuck up, smart-arse!
:'''Jorge:''' Matt, what is the big deal?
:'''Matt:''' I'm trying to have a good time.
:'''Jorge:''' You're not having a good time, you're making life tough.
:'''Matt:''' I'm having a good time.
:'''Gordon:''' Why is he acting like that?
:'''Melanie:''' Because he's a jackass. (interview) Matt is beyond the weakest link. You're here to do a job, do it!
:'''Matt:''' Pork belly's in the window.
:'''Gordon:''' Matt, that's overcooked. I know you don't care but I do. And you're supposed to be working hard tonight to get this place turned around. Why are you now trying to sabotage it? Mr Shitter who thinks he can't fucking cook a chicken wing! Can't even drop a piece of pork belly in the fryer. Look at it, dry, piece of overcooked pork belly! You're going to start sending us down.
:'''Jorge:''' Matt, you're seriously want to fuck me over right now?
:'''Matt:''' No.
:'''Jorge:''' Why are you being a piece of shit with me?
:'''Richard:''' (interview) I don't know if there's something wrong with Matt or not. I'm not a violent man by any means, but if he fucks it up for me tonight, I will literally...do something.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[after Matt sends a stone cold pork belly]''
:'''Jorge''': Matt, why are you fucking up service tonight? You're making me look like shit.
:'''Matt''': Chill out with the fucking drama.
:'''Jorge''': What did you say?
:'''Matt''': Chill out with the drama!
:'''Jorge''': Get out of here! Right now! Get the fuck out, right now! You know what? That's it. (shoves Matt) Get out of here!
:'''Matt''': Alright, fine. That's cool if you're going to be serious like that. (leaves)
:'''Richard''': Matt, see you!

=== Spin A Yarn [5.13] ===
:'''Gordon''': Look at that sign. What is that; a big capital &quot;S&quot;. Let's hope that doesn't stand for &quot;Shit&quot;!

=== Charlie's [5.14] ===
:'''Gordon:''' ''[to Tatiana about bad meatballs]'' What's your complaint about the meatballs?
:'''Tatiana:''' He said it was toasted on one side, not toasted on the other.
:'''Gordon:''' Really? How about telling your fucking chef?!
:'''Casimiro:''' ''[to Gordon in Spanish]'' Okay, you cook it!
:'''Gordon:''' Now he's getting upset with me because I called him out. When a guy can't make a meatball or even season one, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. And then when I watch a chef that cooks and sticks food up there and holds it, and we're not talking homemade food, we're talking bought-in, store-bought. My God, it hurts.
:'''Casimiro:''' ''[to Gordon in Spanish]'' Okay, you cook it!
:'''Gordon:''' And look at that for a stinking attitude! Look at that! A disgusting attitude! Ask him to put his house in the fucking mix. If his house was on the line, he wouldn't be cooking like a fucking idiot! ''[Casimiro laughs]'' Now he thinks it's funny!
:'''Tatiana:''' What the fuck are we going to do?
:'''Gordon:''' You think it's funny? Yeah? It's a joke!
:'''Tatiana:''' ''[to Casimiro in Spanish]'' ¿Vas a cocinar? ''[&quot;Are you going to cook?&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' What does he want to do?
:'''Tatiana:''' He doesn’t want to cook.
:'''Gordon:''' He don’t want to cook? ''[walks out]'' Get your head out of your arse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' When a chef outlasts two owners already, trust me, there something's not quite right...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Tatiana''': Necesitamos hablar. ''[&quot;We need to talk&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Si, dimelo. ¿Que pasa, niña? ''[&quot;Yeah, talk to me. What happened, my child?&quot;]''
:'''Tatiana''': Casimiro, yo pienso que los dos de usted necesitáis ir. ¿Esto me duele mucho, ok? ''[&quot;Casimiro, I think the two of you need to go. This hurts me a lot, ok?&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Ok.
:'''Tatiana''': Lo siento mucho. Lo siento mucho, Casimiro. ''[&quot;I'm very sorry, I'm very sorry, Casimiro&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': Ok...
:'''Tatiana''': ''[while trying to hug him]'' Sorry, sorry...
:'''Casimiro''': No, no, no... lo sabía... lo sabía. ''[&quot;I knew it&quot;]''
:'''Casimiro''': ''[while walking out]'' Ciao, guys!

=== Cafe Hon [5.15] ===
:'''Gordon''': [Looking for the restaurant] Restaurant with flamingo. [Stops in surprise as he sees a giant pink flamingo above the restaurant] Holy Mackerel. Look at the size of that thing. Wow. Are you serious? Look at that. Wow, wow, wow!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After dinner service chef Greg sitting out back as Chef Ramsay comes out as well]''
:'''Gordon''': Oh, Jesus. Uh, what the fuck was that all about?
:'''Greg''': It's a shit job.
:'''Gordon''': Honestly?
:'''Greg''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': (Shakes head) And is she always like that?
:'''Greg''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': How do you concentrate like that?
:'''Greg''': You can't. I mean, you really can't!
:'''Gordon''': Why would she 86 everything in the middle of service?
:'''Greg''': I cannot tell you.

=== Chiarella's [5.16] ===

=== Zocalo [5.17] ===

== Season 6 ==

=== La Galleria 33 (Part 1) [6.01] ===
:''[Gordon calls out Pat]''
:'''Gordon''': Sir? You got two seconds? ''[Pat begins walking to Gordon]''
:'''Rita''': ''[aside; to Sara]'' I'm so afraid right now.
:'''Sara''': Why?
:'''Rita''': 'Cause I know what's coming next.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' What's your first name?
:'''Pat''': Pat.
:'''Gordon''': Pat.
:'''Pat''': This for me is a new journey in life because I've always been a shoe salesman.
:'''Gordon''': Seriously? ''[looks down at Pat's shoes]''
:'''Pat''': Not a men's shoe salesman.
:'''Gordon''': Ah, ohhh. Sorry.
:'''Pat''': Women's exclusively.
:'''Gordon''': So you're not a cobbler.
:'''Pat''': No.
:'''Gordon''': Oh. I was gonna say.
:''[Rita goes to call Lisa]''
:'''Rita''': Lisa? 
:'''Lisa''': ''[to a diner]'' Right.
:'''Rita''': It's Pat. It's Pat...
:'''Lisa''': I don't really.. even wanna deal with that.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' How would you rate the food?
:'''Pat''': Umm. The only issue is I cannot eat Italian food because I'm gluten intolerant.
:'''Gordon''': So, what are you here?
:'''Pat''': I'm a combination of everything. I'm like, manager slash...
:'''Gordon''': Oh so you're the manager here.
:'''Pat''': Everything else.
:'''Gordon''': Shit.
:'''Pat''': Slash everything else
:'''Gordon''': I didn't know that. So you're the manager.. of Galleria.
:'''Pat''': Galleria
:'''Gordon''': General manager/shoe salesman...
:'''Pat''': I'm also a host.
:'''Gordon''': You're a host?
:'''Pat''': And I'm a busperson. I do it all.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. Uhh Rita?
:'''Rita''': Yes? 
:'''Gordon''': Is Pat serious? General manager...
:'''Rita''': He is the busboy.
:'''Gordon''': ''[to Pat]'' You're not the general manager?
:'''Pat''': I just assumed that role
:'''Gordon''': Oh you assumed the role. Ohh shit you just assigned that role to yourself.
:'''Pat''': I just assigned that role to myself
:'''Gordon''': Ohhh, fuck me. Wow. ''[Rita shakes her head and Pat laughs]''
:'''Rita''': I'm sweating. I'm sweating.
:'''Gordon''': You're sweating?
:'''Rita''': Yes.
:'''Gordon''': I'm shitting myself
:'''Rita''': I'm also shitting myself. 
:'''Gordon''': Who is he?
:'''Rita''': He is the busman and I fired him and let me explain to you what he-
:'''Gordon''': Ohhh, hold on, hold on. You fired him?
:'''Rita''': I fired him.
:'''Gordon''': What did you fire him for?
:'''Rita''': Because he told me that he was more important than me and he got me on a bad day and I got upset and I fired him
:'''Gordon''': Serious?
:'''Rita''': So you what he did? He got an umbrella 'cause it was raining that day. He got an umbrella and he would walk by and look in like a very sad puppy and I'm like &quot;this poor guy&quot;, so I took him back. I took him back and now I just let him tell himself he's the manager (interview) For every thing that Pat does right, he does five things wrong. ''[to Pat]'' Go now, go. Ohh my, God.
:'''Gordon''': Thank you, Pat.
:'''Rita''': (interview) He's so fucking crazy that it's like, &quot;is it really worth even having him here?&quot;. He's... But it is, I love Pat. Pat's good.

=== La Galleria 33 (Part 2) [6.02] ===

=== Mama Maria's [6.03] ===

=== Ms. Jean's Southern Cuisine [6.04] ===

:''[Gordon has been served a pork chop so dry that he sets it upright on the plate]''

:'''Gordon:''' How sad is that? Honestly, come on. How...fucking...depressing...is that? It's like the map of America. ''[points around the pork chop]'' Start on the East Coast. There's California, where that little dark spot is. Come to central, Midwest. Then we have Seattle. We're here. ''[points]'' Pittsburgh. God bless America. ''[swats at a fly]'' Fuck off, fly.

=== Barefoot Bob's [6.05] ===
:''[Showing Marc and sous chef Chris the freezer and what he found in there]''
:'''Gordon''': Look. [Showing bag of pork belly that's raw]
:'''Chris''': Oh what, that is pork fat.
:'''Gordon''': Just hold that two seconds; that's next to this: [Pulls out container of chicken wings not frozen] Fucking wings, and the top is soaking wet because it's fucking full of condensation! And this! [Pulls container out] Who grabs that out there and doesn't think about changing the bowl. Who could be that dirty? Chili?
:'''Chris''': Chili.
:'''Gordon''': Shit around the outside. LOOK AT THE MESS OF THIS PLACE! It's fucking ridiculous! SOMEONE FUCKING MAN UP! [Stares at Chris who is petrified] Young man, you are running a business! Whole wings, next to the fucking raw pork? You'll kill everybody!

=== Revisited #8 [6.06] ===

=== Olde Hitching Post [6.07] ===
:'''Narrator:''' With Chef Ramsay hearing enough of the customer complaints, he decides he needs to further investigate the practices of the kitchen.
:''[Gordon opens up the bag of scallops]''
:'''Gordon:''' Dan?
:'''Dan:''' Yes, sir?
:'''Gordon:''' Do you buy them like that, in milk?
:'''Dan:''' No, we don't buy them like that.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are they like this? They're watery.
:'''Dan:''' Because, unfortunately, they are frozen ones. I know. Sorry.
:'''Gordon:''' Tom. I mean, honestly? Why are you doing this to yourself?
:'''Tom:''' Those were what they were.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are you doing this? ''[Smells his fingers]'' Just smell inside there. [''Smells scallops in the the bag]'' Come on. Just smell inside there.
:'''Tom:''' ''[Smells the scallops]'' Smells beautiful. Ocean fresh.
:'''Gordon:''' &quot;It smells beautiful, ocean fresh?&quot; ''[Shakes his head]'' Kevin, can you get me Andrea, please?
:'''Kevin:''' Andrea! Help back, please?
:'''Andrea:''' Are you kidding me right now?
:'''Gordon:''' So, Andrea, come 'round, please. You got two seconds? The scallops we're serving? They're frozen ones. ''[Points to Tom]'' He's in denial!
:'''Tom:''' I have to talk to you.
:'''Andrea:''' ''(under)'' Relax, Dad.
:'''Tom:''' ''(over)'' No, no no. I need to talk to you.
:'''Andrea:''' Just talk.
:'''Tom:''' There's nothing wrong. I eat myself. If you pick up this bag, I pick 'em up myself this morning. If you take this bag, they've been in the freezer for one day, or twenty-four hours, and pick up this one, you're gonna find the same seafood product.
:'''Gordon:''' I disagree.
:'''Tom:''' Go ahead and smell this one and smell that one. Tell me what the difference is.
:'''Gordon:''' You're trying to convince me that serving frozen food is better than fresh.
:'''Tom:''' It's not frozen!
:'''Gordon:''' They were in the fucking freezer. You buy them in the bulk fresh, you put them in the bags, you weigh them out...
:'''Tom:''' Yes.
:'''Gordon:''' ...and you freeze them.
:'''Tom:''' Yes, I do.
:'''Gordon:''' And in the morning, you take out ten bags, you let them defrost, they sit in that piss like that, and then you cook them.
:'''Tom:''' Yes, I do that.
:'''Gordon:''' Right.
:'''Tom:''' But you will criticize me. The milk and the smell. It don't smell any different that one from this one. And I say they smell like ocean fresh, and they do!
:'''Gordon:''' So they smell the same once they've been frozen?
:'''Tom:''' It depends if you got 'em for one year in the freezer or one day. ''[Gordon looks in disgust]'' All right, all right.
:'''Gordon:''' You haven't got a clue what you're talking about! They smell fresher once they're defrosted? Shit! You're fucking loopy! They smell fresher after they've been frozen?! Oh, come on!
:'''Tom:''' Anybody's in the restaurant business...
:'''Gordon:''' ''What?!''
:'''Tom:''' ...no matter who he is.
:'''Gordon:''' Rule number one: when studying to be a chef, fresh food doesn't smell or taste fucking better once it's frozen! Shellfish is something you ''never'' freeze! And now, here you are lecturing me that that fucking thing is fresh!
:'''Tom:''' No! ''[Pounds the table]''
:''(After the commercial break)''
:'''Tom:''' It doesn't matter if it's frozen or not!
:'''Gordon:''' It doesn't matter if it's frozen or not?
:'''Tom:''' No!
:'''Gordon:''' You're trying to convince me that this idiotic setup is acceptable. Do you honestly think that your customers would be happy to pay for frozen shit being defrosted rapidly? They are under the impression in your fucking dining room that what you're cooking them is fresh! So, you're not going to convince me that this is better than serving it fresh! ''(To Andrea)'' What I've just said, does that make any sense?
:'''Andrea:''' Yes, it does.
:'''Gordon:''' It does? Thank God you're not as stubborn as your dad!
:'''Tom:''' (interview) If you don't like my food, don't even talk to me. I don't want you.

=== Levanti's Italian Restaurant [6.08] ===
''[Ramsay is inspecting the kitchen during dinner service, and has pulled out rotten chicken]''
:'''Gordon''': Dino? Urgently. That's the chicken we've been serving all night, yes? Why is it standing on that? Look how slimy it is! 
:'''Dino''': How old is that?
:'''Gordon''': ''[smells the chicken]'' Oh, my God! Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Tony, two seconds? Tina, you're part of this. ''[Tony and Tina approaches]''  What. In. The. Fuck. Are we doing? How old is that?
:'''Dino''': I don't know.
:'''Gordon''': Look at the colour of the chicken. Green, and stinking. Hold that. ''[gets the fish]'' What is that?
:'''Tina''': Cod.
:'''Gordon''': In what?! We're serving that! ''[Tony is flabbergasted, Tina hangs her head, and tries to walk out]'' Excuse me? ''[gets a container of sauce from the refrigerator]'' Look at the way we work. ''[gets a pack of wilted basil]'' What is this? Anybody? ''[empties pack of the basil onto a tray]''
:'''Tony''': I have no idea.
:'''Gordon''': You've got no idea? ''[gets another container of sauce from the refrigerator]'' And this? How old is this? ''[takes plastic wrap off container]'' Oh, my God! You disgusting pigs! Look. At. That! Yeah, it's fermented. Just smell that. ''[Tony and Dino  smell the sauce]'' (to Tina) Come on, please. You own it. ''[Ramsay makes Tina take a waft of the sauce]'' Ladies?  ''[servers smell the sauce]'' We've been serving that. See the mould around the side?
:'''Sam''': I thought that was basil. Oh, my God!
:'''Gordon''': No, that's not basil. I wished it ''was'' fucking basil. How long does a sauce sit in the fridge to get mouldy around the top?
:'''Tina''': Quite a long time.
:'''Tony''': (testimonial) I didn't expect to see all of this. They're not doing the job they're supposed to be doing. And these guys, they're going to have a rough time now.
:'''Gordon''': Does the town of Beaver deserve ''[points to the moldy sauce]'' this?
:'''Dino''': Absolutely not.
:'''Gordon''': You should be ashamed. Ashamed! (to the Fratangeli siblings) Now, walk out there, and apologise to your guests, and try to do something you've never done in 14 years: fucking work together! ''[turns back on them]''
:'''Tina''': I'm not going out there. ''[the siblings and the chefs leave the kitchen; Tina walks out of the restaurant, leaving Dino to speak]''
:'''Dino''': (to the customers) Excuse me. We appreciate you guys coming out here and trying our restaurant tonight, but we won't be having any more service; Chef Ramsay has shut us down for the evening. Thank you.
:'''Gordon''': (overhears Dino's announcement from behind the kitchen) Fucking hell! Oh, God! God! ''[confronts Dino, who has returned to the kitchen]'' Dino, you're telling them that I'm shutting it down?
:'''Dino''': I was just--
:'''Gordon''': I heard you. I was standing behind the door. Chef Ramsay did ''not'' shut this down! I stopped the owners from serving shit food. But I am ''not'' going to continue that! Because you don't realise right now, young man, how bad you've become! So I'm not shutting it down; I'm just stopping you looking more stupid. ''[points to the moldy sauce]''  Did you honestly want to continue serving? So you want to continue? ''[Dino does not answer]'' You want to continue serving? ''[walks out to the dining room]'' Ladies and gentlemen, could I just have your attention for 30 seconds? First of all, my apologies, but I'm not going to BS anybody. I am ''not'' shutting this restaurant down, I am ''stopping'' the owners from serving this disgusting mess! From chicken that's already slimed, off, gone, to disgusting basil that was never fresh, to a tomato sauce that's actually caked in mould. I am ''not'' going to sit here and play party to that.
:'''Tony''': Oh, my God. I'm embarrassed.
:'''Gordon''': And whilst I am totally appreciative for you leaving your homes to come here tonight for dinner, I've got too much respect for you and too much respect for the industry. I am ''not'' going to be part of this any longer. My sincere apologies. ''[walks to the door and bumps into it, not realizing it's a pull door]'' Fucking door!

=== Sam's Mediterranean Kabob Room [6.09] ===
''[after Gordon returns his gyro]''
:'''Jamal''': You guys didn't cook the gyro right. Rubbery as it was.
:'''Emad''': Shut the fuck up! You're stupid!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[as Gordon was served overcooked lamb shank, the Najjar brothers were arguing within the diners' earshot]''
:'''Jamal''': You guys can't do your job right!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you shut the fuck up!?
:'''Sam''': Hey!
:'''Emad''': What!?
:'''Sam''': I don't want to hear any shouting in the kitchen!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you tell him to shut up?
:'''Sam''': Yeah. You too.
''[back at the dining room]''
:'''Gordon''': It looks anaemic, the colour's dreadful, and it tastes just like bland, boiled lamb.
''[at the kitchen, the brothers are still arguing]''
:'''Jamal''': You shouldn't be giving out garbage food. Are you serious?
:'''Samer''': You take over!
:'''Emad''': Why don't you take over!?
:'''Jamal''': I should!
:'''Emad''': Then do it!
:'''Jamal''': If you don't want it, then get out!
:'''Emad''': Do it!
:'''Jamal''': If you don't want it, then get out!
:'''Emad''': You're stupid!
''[at the dining room, the customers can hear arguing]''
:'''Gordon''': (to Leina) Do me a favour, send that back to fucking New Zealand.
:'''Leina''': Okay.
:'''Gordon''': (overhearing Jamal, Emad, and Samer arguing) What's going on there?
:'''Leina''': They've been arguing, because he's (Jamal) telling him (Emad) that he doesn't know how to cook.
''[the brothers are still arguing as Ramsay speaks]''
:'''Emad''': Idiot, dude. Just go back to the front.
:'''Jamal''': Horrible. Horrible.
:'''Emad''': Who cares about his opinion? 
:'''Leina''': He says that the lamb, it just tasted like it was boiled in water. And he said, &quot;Send this back to New Zealand.&quot;
:'''Sam''': (testimonial) He tried it and he said, &quot;There is no flavor in it!&quot; But I believed myself I make the best lamb shank here in California. (back at the kitchen) I don't really know what to do. (waves a pan at Emad as if wanting to hit him with it)
:'''Jamal''': What were you doing again? Oh, yeah. Cook your food wrong.
:'''Wesam''': Nobody's talking to you! Stay back there!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Leina''': Chef Ramsay wants to see everybody, outside.
''(the Najjar brothers goes out of the kitchen to the dining room)''
:'''Gordon''': Before I start talking about the dishes, what was the fighting going on there?
:'''Wesam''': He just like to come back and argue pretty much about nothing.
:'''Jamal''': Actually, when we get a complaint, I tell them what's going on, and they can't take criticism.
:'''Samer''': No, that's not it.
:'''Jamal''': Let me talk!
:'''Samer''': You're making it seem that you're better than everything!
:'''Jamal''': (to Samer) So why are you still talking when I'm talking!? (to Gordon) If I come back there and let them know, &quot;Hey, this is dry&quot;, &quot;Hey, the hummus is messed up&quot;--
:'''Wesam''': No, we really accept that. But the fact that you come over there and, &quot;Hey, you guys can't cook. You guys are shit&quot;--
:'''Jamal''': I didn't say that!
''(the brothers continuing to argue)''
:'''Leina''': Okay, okay!
:'''Sam''': That's what I have everyday.
:'''Gordon''': Can I start talking about my lunch? The &quot;combo plate&quot;: eggplants, out of the can; hummus, bland; falafel, bland. Sam, you recommended lamb shank, but the bones were disintegrating. When the bones start disintegrating, that's three hours over-cooked.
:'''Sam''': I don't know what to tell you.
:'''Gordon''': Have you given up?
:'''Sam''': Not yet.
:'''Gordon''': Top sirloin: it was miles away from medium rare.
:'''Jamal''': Umm! (condescendingly points lips at Emad)
:'''Emad''': What are you &quot;umm&quot;-ing about? Shut up!
:'''Jamal''': Okay, no, no. 
:'''Emad''': I have nothing to do about --
:'''Leina''': Okay, okay.
:'''Gordon''': What's wrong?
:'''Emad''': He's (points at Jamal) making a scene like it's all my fault. He said, &quot;Umm, umm&quot; (mimics Jamal's condescension) like I'm doing something wrong.
:'''Jamal''': Yeah, who's been messing up all day before you walked in? So you know who's here, can't you just, like, step up?
:'''Emad''': You should have stepped up!
:'''Jamal''': I'm telling you guys what's wrong --
:'''Randah''': Okay. He (Jamal) wasn't in that position that day, so stop putting the blame on him. You guys (points at Emad, Wesam, and Samer) were cooking. 
:'''Jamal''': Who cooked his (Ramsay's) food?
:'''Wesam''': You were criticizing us all day!
:'''Randah''': Even if he was criticizing, you guys cooked the food!
:'''Jamal''': You guys were giving messed-up food. That's what happened, right? Then try it! Then tell me what you think.
:'''Gordon''': I've never seen anything like this. (to Emad) Have you given up?
:'''Emad''': (nods) Kind of.
:'''Gordon''': &quot;Kind of.&quot; Do you care?
:'''Emad''': Not really.
:'''Gordon''': It shows you don't care.

=== Nino's Italian Restaurant [6.10] ===
:'''Gordon''': Nino, the restaurant's named after you. What's your role?
:'''Nino''': The person that has always been in charge was my dad. ''[Michael nods]'' And then when he developed his Alzheimer's, I stepped up in this business.
:'''Gordon''': Wow. What do you mean?
:'''Nino''': I get here early, I do the remedial things as janitorial vaccuming, ''[Michael shakes his head]'' cleaning of all these plates, cleaning the restrooms, scrubbing the toilets, ''[Carina shakes her head]'' washing the patio. That's just from 8 to about 4 maybe. Weekends usually I come in for extensive cleaning.
:'''Gordon''': Sounds like you do a lot of cleaning.
:'''Carina''': Cleaning? What are you talking about? The restaurant is a mess. ''[Michael laughs]''
:'''Gordon''': Take away the cleaning, what else do you do? ''[Nino doesn't respond]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': He spends a lot of time sitting down with customers. I mean not just visiting/promoting the business. Sitting down and talking for ''long'' periods of time, in the middle of lunch. And he's the only restaurant manager I think you would find anywhere, that has lunch at lunchtime. He spends a lot of time in the office watching TV
:'''Nino''': This is not even true. He's not here at 8 in the morning when I get here. Why would I come here at 8 in the morning-
:'''Michael''': That's a fantasy; watch TV!
:'''Nino''': The television here is 40 years old, and I have high def at home with all the channels I need. Why wouldn't I just stay there-
:'''Michael''': So you tell everyone you're working, 'cause nobody's here, you can say whatever you're doing, right? Stretching the truth!
:'''Nino''': It is not! My brother never tells the truth
:'''Michael''': Aha, I mean from a pathological liar, I take that as a compliment
:'''Nino''': He thinks I'm some kind of nut because I'm in a recovery program.
:'''Michael''': It has nothing to do with that, you're just a liar!
:'''Nino''': He thinks we're all living in a fantasy world according to him
:'''Michael''': No! I think you're in a fantasy world by the way you act here. My honest feeling is that he doesn't do crap here. He does a lot of sit''[Nino tries to protest]''-I'm talking. He makes everybody believe he does crap. Just like last night, he went up to every table and said, &quot;Hello, my name's Ninoooo!&quot;
:'''Nino''': That's not true.
:'''Michael:''' Nino, please! Couldn't you let me talk, Mr. Always-talking? I see it all the time, and that's why I kind of stay back from here, because I love this damn restaurant. And to see it just being run down drives...me...frigging...crazy. To my opinion, he doesn't do crap. My mom will admit it. My dad will admit it, my sister will admit it, but I will come out and say it passionately: doesn't do crap.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You are in denial.
:'''Nino''': No! I'm not.
:'''Gordon''': Bullshitting me and blowing smoke up my arse, telling me you work in there eight hours a day cleaning, telling me the food is great, people love it. I am shitting myself. The chef--
:'''Nino''': Then you need to wear diapers. You shouldn't be shitting on yourself.
:'''Gordon''': Are you okay?
:'''Nino''': Yeah, I'm fine.
:'''Gordon''': Or are you just trying to act like a fucking idiot to make yourself sound better?
:'''Nino''': No, I'm not. I'm not a fucking idiot.
:'''Gordon''': Well then, stop sounding like one.
:'''Nino''': You sound like a fucking idiot yourself.
:'''Gordon''': I sound like an idiot?
:'''Nino''': You used the word &quot;fucking&quot;. So I brought it back to you. I think that's-that's kind of gross.
:'''Carina''': (stepping in) Nino, we need to calm down.
:'''Gordon''': Unbelievable. Now I know the problem in this restaurant.
:'''Nino''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': I'm staring at it.
:'''Nino''': And I'm-I'm staring at it as well.
:'''Michael''': (interview) To be honest, I really don't know what's in Nino's head.
:'''Gordon''': Are we done?
:'''Michael''': (interview) It's almost like he's completely mentally unstable.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;

=== Mill Street Bistro Part 1 [6.11] ===
''[Overlaid with the chefs taking food out of the freezer and nuking it in the microwave]''
:'''Joe: '''We do things with passion, with integrity... The food here at the bistro is the freshest, hands down.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[Joe's infamous &quot;micro-carrots&quot;]''
:'''Gordon:''' And these are... little carrots?
:'''Joe:''' Micro-carrots.
:'''Gordon:''' Micro-carrots? From...
:'''Joe:''' From a local farm.
:'''Gordon:''' Do you not think you should let it grow a bit?
:'''Joe:''' Well, I don't think they're there to be really eaten, they're for garnish.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay.
:'''Joe:''' It's a garnish. Nice to add some color.
:'''Gordon:''' Okay.
:'''Joe:''' But I would like to explain what we're spending on micro-carrots.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah. Can we go through this after?
:''[Gordon hands the carrots to Joe]''
:'''Joe: ''' ''[interview]'' I have staff here that'll take care of that. You don't hand me raw food in MY dining room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[post-lunch meeting]''
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something: You’re not a chef. Stop pretending to be one.
:'''Joe:''' Did I tell you I was a chef?
:'''Gordon:''' You told me you trained with the best chefs in Europe.
:'''Joe:''' I didn't fucking tell you that! ''(flashback to earlier at Joe’s farm)'' I am self-taught by old-school Europeans. Master chefs that had a liking to me.
:''(back to Mill Street Bistro)''
:'''Gordon:''' Who is the chef here?
:'''Joe:''' It's my kitchen, I'm the chef.
:'''Gordon:''' You just told me you're not, but now you are.
:'''Joe:''' I'm not a certified chef, like yourself.
:'''Gordon:''' No, I know that, but who cooks?
:'''Joe:''' I do.
:'''Gordon:''' Right. So you're the head chef. You write the menus, you dictate the special features.
:'''Joe:''' Correct.
:'''Gordon:''' Let me tell you something: You're not a fine-dining bistro. You're a small man with a fake bistro. You're shooting way above your station. You’ve totally misjudged your market, because all these pretentious ideas that you think are gonna work are screwed.
:'''Joe:''' What are you referring to?
:'''Gordon:''' Oh, here we go. I'll make it easy for you.
:'''Joe:''' Yeah, I speak English too.
:'''Gordon:''' Store-bought chocolate cake garnished with fake flowers. You don't even cook. You just prance around behind the line throwing raw bits of carrots on top of raw pastry. I've never come across a bistro anywhere in the world with name tags.
:'''Joe:''' In the world?
:'''Gordon:''' In the world.
:'''Joe:''' In the world? We'll research that.
:'''Gordon:''' You are so fucking arrogant, you don't even listen to your customers, let alone your staff. You have a gifted young group of servers that told me more problems and issues in the first 20 minutes of meeting them than you have done all fucking day.
:'''Joe:''' (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Now it's funny.
:'''Joe:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' From a fake fireplace to fake garnish, yet you want me to blow fucking smoke up your phony arse!
:'''Joe:''' I don't want you to blow smoke up my phony ass.
:'''Gordon:''' Wow.
:'''Joe:''' It was petite micro-carrots that was the garnish.
:'''Gordon:''' It's not just about the carrots. Carrots is just a fucking example of 20 things that have gone wrong!
:'''Joe:''' You're busting my balls!
:'''Gordon:''' Because you're in fucking denial!
:''(one of the employees whistles and imitates a bomb dropping)''
:'''Gordon:''' You want me just to come in and change your carrots, and make some fresh fucking chocolate cake for you?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm lost for words. Uh, I don't know what to say. Do you know what you could do for me? Impress me with your dinner service. Show me how you function, “Chef.”
:'''Joe:''' Do you want to see what comes back? Our elk does not come back.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm deeply sorry your feelings are hurt.
:'''Joe:''' My fucking feelings ain't hurt. You can't hurt my feelings.
:'''Gordon:''' You're ignoring my advice.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not.
:'''Gordon:''' And you're going up against me.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not ignoring your advice.
:'''Gordon:''' Yes, you are.
:'''One of the employees:''' I feel like Christmas has come early.
:'''Gordon:''' Defensive, ignorant, and in complete denial.
:'''Joe:''' And guess what? If I'm all that, you're my twin!
:'''Gordon:''' What?
:'''Joe:''' Yeah, 'cause I've been called you here many times. So let's get over the bullshit.
:'''Gordon:''' (softly in Joe’s ear) I can cook, Joe. (normal) When you have the arrogance to stand in front of me and charge your locals 35 fucking dollars for entrées that are inedible, have a look at yourself, man.
:'''Joe:''' People seem to enjoy it.
:'''Gordon:''' Bull-shit.
:'''Joe:''' Bull-shit.
:'''Gordon:''' (sighs) Fuck off.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[after examining the fridge and finding no meat from Joe’s farm despite what Joe claimed earlier]''
:'''Gordon:''' Joe, I get upset when I see fakery from a frozen ravioli, a frozen perch, frozen oysters. And when you deny it, that makes me mad.
:'''Joe:''' Well, let's talk about that.
:'''Gordon:''' Yeah, because you're making up stories.
:'''Joe:''' I'm not making up stories.
:'''Gordon:''' Yes, you are. That's how fucking deluded you are.
:'''Joe:''' No, I'm not deluded. We have fresh stuff, okay?
:'''Gordon:''' I'm struggling here to stay in this building right now. I swear to God.
:'''Joe:''' Gordon, I got to cook right now.
:'''Gordon:''' Now isn’t a good time? I wish you would. I'm standing here watching a dead man walking.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
''[examining and debating over the onion soup]''
:'''Gordon:''' Are they raw onions in there? What's that? Did you put raw onions in there?
:'''Tom:''' I didn’t; no.
:'''Gordon:''' Why are we doing this to each other?
:'''Tom:''' I don’t know.
:'''Gordon:''' Is this a wind-up? Look at me. You're putting raw onions in the soup. I don't know if you're just fucking around. I'm—I'm lost, Joe. Why are you doing this?
:'''Joe:''' You said earlier that it needed more onions. Okay? We responded by putting the onions in there, so they had more of a bite to it.
:'''Gordon:''' It's raw. What's the matter with you? We send that out, it’s going to come straight back!
:'''Joe:''' What do you want to hear?
:'''Gordon:''' Take it off, Joe!
:'''Joe:''' Take it off the menu?
:'''Gordon:''' 86 it! Save whatever little reputation you've got left! MAN! Surely you've got a bit more respect than that! I'm trying to reason with you, Joe.
:'''Joe:''' I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' Fine.
:'''Joe:''' I get it.
:'''Gordon:''' Fine! But I am not here to show an idiot you can't put fucking raw onions in an onion soup! I can't teach you that! That's called common sense! That, in your tiny mind, is not common!
:'''Joe:''' Pardon?
:'''Gordon:''' (to Tom) Come here, you. Should we put raw onions in a caramelised onion soup?! '''''TELL HIM!!'''''
:'''Tom:''' (to Joe) No.
:'''Gordon:''' (to Tom) Thank you! (to Joe) You've got talented staff to tell you that! '''''Ask your chef!'''''

=== Mill Street Bistro Part 2 [6.12] ===

:'''Joe''': ''[starts making an elk quesadilla]'' Do you want to see how we make this crap?
:'''Gordon''': I haven't got the appetite, Joe.
:'''Joe''': I know because you wouldn't come over here and say &quot;Don't get it that crispy.&quot; or &quot;Don't do that with it.&quot;
:'''Gordon''': What the fuck are you on? What the fuck are you on? I won't come over here saying &quot;Get that a bit crispy&quot;. An elk quesadilla that you want confirmation that it's a fucking good dish? When are you going to pull your head out of your fucking arsehole?! For a man who stands there and boasts at his fucking farm and his goats and you want me to talk about this?! Seriously?! Wake up, Joe! You're joking, aren't you?
:'''Joe''': We're making these two these. You know what I'm saying? I know you don't like the dish.
:'''Gordon''': It's disgusting, Joe!
:'''Joe''': So you wouldn't give me any input on it?
:'''Gordon''': Get rid of it!
:'''Joe''': You want me to get rid of it right fucking now?!
:'''Gordon''': I would! I would!
:'''Joe''': Get rid of the fucking thing! We don't have it!
:'''Gordon''': Oh, here we go! Here we go!
:'''Joe''': We don't have it!
:'''Gordon''': Here we fucking go!
:'''Joe''': Make yourself clear.
:'''Gordon''': Stop asking such ridiculous questions! &quot;Come over here and tell me it's crispy.&quot; '''''ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!!'''''
:'''Joe''': So don't - fucking - serve the thing, right?
:'''Gordon''': '''WHOSE RESTAURANT IS IT?!'''
:'''Joe''': It's my restaurant, and I'm asking for fucking help!
:'''Gordon''': ''(over)'' '''THEN ACT... FUCKING RESPONSIBLE!!!'''
:'''Joe''': I'm asking for FUCKING help!
:'''Gordon''': THEN WAKE UP!!
:'''Joe''': You wake up!
:'''Gordon''': IDIOT!!
:'''Joe''': Fucking come in here and help me, instead of running your jaw!
:'''Gordon''': You shouldn't even be IN the kitchen! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!
:'''Joe''': ''(under)'' Go ahead! Go ahead! You put it all together! You got it right!
:'''Gordon''': ''(to Tom)'' Let's finish this! Let's finish it! ''(to Joe)'' FUCK OFF THEN!!
:'''Joe''': You fuck off!
:'''Gordon''': ''(throws the quesadillas on the floor)'' Yeah, and take that shit with you! That's right, we're stopping an elk quesadilla! Breaking news in Mexico!
:'''Joe''': That's all I'm asking!
:'''Gordon''': '''''GET OUT!!!''''' Now we got rid of the fucking problem. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-real.

=== Yanni's (6.13) ===
:'''Gordon:''' Greasy as anything. It's a huge ball of grease. I love moussaka, but that is miles off. Moussaka? Mou-&lt;i&gt;suck.&lt;/i&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[having gathered the staff in the kitchen]''
:'''Gordon:''' I've never seen this before! Every fucking fridge is full of fresh stuff and old stuff. Unfortunately, the old stuff's tainting the fresh stuff, so what you ''think'' is fresh is no longer fresh. And those poor fuckers out there are eating this.
:'''Alyse:''' Can I-? 
:'''Gordon:''' No, you can't. I'm not going to let you cook any more. Yeah, that's right. You want to continue cooking? You think it's funny, do you? No, Alyse, if anyone can walk past ROTTEN food in a fridge, and continue cooking fresh, you shouldn't be FUCKIN' anywhere near food! And then when I hear, &quot;Oh, I've never seen that before!&quot; THEN OPEN YOUR FUCKIN' EYES!
:''[pause]''
:'''Peter:''' I just don't believe this. You know, what happened to &quot;check things&quot;?
:'''Alyse:''' I don't know what happened.
:'''Peter:''' ''(fishing out a beer can from a bucket)'' What the fuck is this!? Do you guys like this shit to drink? Don't leave those in there for so long! ''(gestures wildly to the fridge) Look!'' Look in there! That's embarrassing!
:'''Alyse:''' But we don't ''use'' it.
:'''Peter:''' I can't keep up with everything! I fuckin' baby-sit you like kids! And you still fuck me! I don't need to baby-sit; if I want to baby-sit, I'd go baby-sit my granddaughter! She's more fun than you guys!

=== Prohibition Grille [6.14] ===
:'''Rishi:''' I thought it would be a good idea to open a restaurant.
:'''Gordon:''' Were you intoxicated at the time?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Rishi:''' Chef Ramsay, I like the pinwheel.
:'''Gordon:''' I'm not asking you if you like it. You give your food ten out of ten, so me talking to you about food is like, 'yeah, I'm talking to a brick wall, behind you'.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Overcooked, tasteless mush.
:'''Rishi:''' I thought they tasted great. They were overcooked though.
:'''Gordon:''' You knew they were overcooked - have you any idea how fucking deluded you sound?
:'''Rishi:''' What?
:'''Gordon:''' How can something be fucking delicious and overcooked? There's no such thing! Aaaargh!

=== Chappy's [6.15] ===
:'''Gordon''': Looks like Chappy took a crappy in my gumbo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I’m not going to say this in front of your staff - you’re a joke.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gordon''': You’ve taught every chef in the world how not to cook.

=== Amy's Baking Company [6.16] ===
:'''Amy''': I am going to really ''hurt'' somebody if they send back my cakes!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Gordon catches with Samy pocketing the tips]''
:'''Gordon''': Wow. Ten-dollar tip?
:'''Samy''': Yeah.
:'''Gordon''': Nice. For you?
:'''Samy''': Of course, yeah. Why not?
:'''Gordon''': Don't you think the girl deserves some tips tonight?
:'''Samy''': No. They get paid hourly.
:'''Gordon''': And so, did you think that if I went and asked every customer that when they leave a tip, it goes straight to the owner and not to the server, do you think they'd be astounded? Let me ask that table there. (to the customers at the table) Sir, the tip that you left to the young lady server, the owner takes the tips.
:'''Customers''': That's horrible!
:'''Samy''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Gordon''': Don't '''''FUCK''''' with me!
:'''Samy''': Yeah, I will fuck with you! Who the fuck do you think you are!?
:'''Amy''': Oh, my god. Samy's going to hurt him.
:'''Gordon''': I'm fed up. I'm getting sick and tired of your bullshit.
:'''Samy''': Don't speak with me like a villain.
:'''Gordon''': Why not fucking answer my question?
:'''Samy''': I am the gangster, not you. 
:'''Gordon''': Then fucking answer my question. Tell the customers they're going to get their tips.
:'''Samy''': No, they don't!
:'''Gordon''': They should be told that you're taking them, because these servers deserve them.
:'''Samy''': You want to speak with me?
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, I want to speak with you.
:'''Samy''': Do you want to fuck with me? I will fuck with you.
:'''Gordon''': I don't want to fuck with you.
:'''Samy''': Then, I will fuck with you.
:'''Amy''': Oh, my god. What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': I can't help people... that can't help themselves... and cannot ever take one ounce of criticism. And if you're not willing to change, I'm not going to butt heads, argue, scream, whatever you want to say. But, this is not normal. And it's not normal for a restaurant to go through that many staff. It's not normal for a kitchen that small to have 65 items on the menu. And it's not normal for the level of animosity that you built inside this restaurant and outside. You have the right to run the business the way you want to run your business. I have the right to do the right thing. And the right thing for me... is to get out of here. Good luck.
:''[Gordon leaves via the restaurant's front door]''
:'''Gordon''': Wow.
:'''Samy''': This is what you wanted?
:'''Amy''': Yeah, of course this is what I wanted. I'm not participating in this shit, give me a break! (points to her microphone) Can I take this thing off me? (interview) We don't need his help! Maybe he knows that.
:''[the production crew is shown dismantling the camera and lighting equipment]''
:'''Crew member:''' It all has to come down.
:'''Amy''': (interview) And now he's gone, he walked away. He'll go on with his life, and Samy and I will go on with our life.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon''': Well, it's finally happened. After almost a hundred Kitchen Nightmares, I met two owners who I could not help. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was because they are incapable of listening. And in a short period of time, they've managed to piss off the community and go through over a hundred employees in one year. Samy and Amy continued to blame everyone else, yet their biggest problem is themselves. And I know whatever changes I would've made, they were never going to stick with them and that's why I've decided to do something I've never done before. It's such a shame.
:''[Gordon walks to and enters his car, starts the engine, and drives off]''

== Season 7 ==

=== Return to Amy's Baking Company [7.01] ===

=== Pantaleone's [7.02] ===
:''(Paulette has just placed a HUGE pizza in front of Gordon]''
:'''Paulette: '''Here's your sausage pizza.
:'''Gordon: ''' ''[eyes wide as saucers]'' Holy crap...
:'''Paulette: '''Isn't that ridiculous?
:'''Gordon: ''' ''[facepalms]'' It's like the pizza that ate Denver.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Remarking on a disappointing meatball hero sandwich]''
:'''Gordon: '''Definitely not a hero, there. There's a typo on the menu. It's not &quot;hero&quot;, it's &quot;zero&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After pouring a sinister yellow liquid off his linguine with clams]''
:'''Gordon: ''' Looks like one of the worst urine samples you could ever give.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After Gordon conducts a taste test... and Pete's pizza does not exactly come out looking good...]''
:'''Gordon: ''' I think, Pete, you've overestimated how good your pizza is. ... I did a little research in Denver. Here's the results in a nutshell. 75 percent of our taste-testers preferred pizza A from the top local Italian restaurant. In second place, with 15 percent of the votes, was a store-bought frozen pizza. And in third, and last position, was yours, with 10 percent ONLY of the votes. Yours was the least favourite, you're actually beaten by a store-bought fucking frozen pizza. Get the message?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pete: '''I love you, you old Brit.

=== Old Neighborhood [7.03] ===
:'''Gordon''': How can I help two individuals who don't care about what they're doing?
:'''Randy''': We do care.
:'''Alexa''': We care tremendously.
:'''Gordon''': So, why didn't you do anything before I got here?
:'''Randy''': We did. I can't tell you how many hours we cleaned.
:'''Gordon''': You cleaned before I got here?
:'''Randy''': I threw out my clothes on Monday, I was so encased with grease.
:'''Gordon''': How long?
:'''Randy''': How many hours?
:'''Gordon''': HOW MANY DAYS?!
:'''Randy''': Five?
:'''Gordon''': SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!!
:'''Alexa''': We just need to stop.
:'''Gordon''': ''[walking out of the restaurant]'' What a fucking mess!

=== Kati Allo [7.04] ===
:'''Irene''': Ok, this is the traditional Loukaniko; the Greek sausage.
:'''Gordon''': The sausage. Look at that. Are they... is that deep fried?
:'''Irene''': They fry it, and they sautée with the wine.
:'''Gordon''': It's bland. When you fry sausage like that, the flavor's gone. It looks like the remainder of a dog chew. That is a mess. ''[Smells it]'' Puhh, it just smells of fried. Where's the white wine and garlic?
:'''Irene''': Too much grease?
:'''Gordon''': I mean, that's just grease. There's more grease in this plate than there is in the Greek isles.
:'''Irene''': I-I'm so sorry, I don't know...
:'''Gordon''': Just taste that... please. Does that remind you of Greece? 
:'''Irene''': Only I taste garlic... and grease.
:'''Gordon''': This area of Queens is called Flushing; right now, I'd like to flush these right down the toilet!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[food comes from lift]''
:'''Gordon''': What is that? Where is this coming from?
:'''Chef:''' This is for the special.
:'''Gordon:''' For the special. That's all hot. No, I know, but wait. It's all hot. Where is it coming from?
:'''Chef:''' Downstairs.
:'''Gordon:''' So you have a team of chefs downstairs as well?
:'''Chef:''' No. Only one woman... put in the microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' Only one woman?
:'''Chef:''' Yes. That's all the work she do.
:'''Gordon:''' [yelling down the lift] Hello? Hello? Hello? Wow. [talking to Christina] Christina, there's a lady downstairs that heats this stuff up.
:'''Christina:''' Yeah, she puts these in the microwave.
:'''Gordon:''' What is that?

=== Mangia, Mangia (Part 1) [7.05] ===
:'''Julie''': Our spinach has never never never never NEVER looked like this!!

:'''Kevin''': This restaurant runs like the &lt;i&gt;Jerry Springer Show.&lt;/i&gt;

:'''Mike''': The food... isn't cooked with much love. It's cooked with stress and a microwave.

=== Mangia, Mangia (Part 2) [7.06] ===
:'''Janelle''': Hey Kevin, let's talk about how many times you haven't shown up to work without your tie.
:'''Kevin''': Two times.
:'''Janelle''': You're so disrespectful to her! You need to show a little respect!
:'''Trevor''': She doesn't listen to anything we have to fucking say!
:'''Janelle''': She tries to but you guys don't give her a chance!
:'''Julie''': Trevor, I have talked to you a hundred times about, stop! I've talked to you over and over, you know I'm not fucking lying, you are! I have sat down and talked to you so many times and said &quot;What can we do to make this better?&quot; and you never fucking say anything, so that's a fucking lie!
:'''Trevor''': But when I do say something, it gets shut down!
:'''Julie''': You are fucking lying!
:'''Trevor''': Whatever!
:'''Janelle''': She's given you so many chances Trevor and you know it! Let's talk about your habits for a second and all the times, you've come in so high that you throw shit at the walls! So high, you fucking punch people!
:'''Trevor''': WHO INTERROGATES IT?! YOU!!!
:'''Janelle''': NO, FUCKING YOU!!
:'''Trevor''': YOU OUGHT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS RESTAURANT SO WE CAN WORK!!
:'''Janelle''': NO!! I DON'T FUCKING OWE YOU ANYTHING!! YOU'RE SO HIGH ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT WHEN YOU GO OFF FUCKING DRUGS, YOU'RE SO ANGRY THAT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO WORK!
:'''Gordon''': Drugs? Who's on drugs?
:'''Janelle''': He's a fucking tweaker! AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING TWEAKER! YOU'VE BEEN DOING DRUGS FOR THREE YEARS!!!
:'''Gordon''': Janelle, Janelle.
:'''Julie''': Janelle, come here.
:'''Janelle''': NO, FUCK HIM!! '''HE DESERVES TO BE FIRED AND YOU KNOW IT!!! HE TRIED TO FUCKING PUNCH ME!!!! AND IF I WOULD'VE LET HIM RIGHT NOW, I KNOW HE WOULD'VE FUCKING PUNCHED ME AGAIN!!!''' HE'S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!! HE'S SO DISRESPECTFUL!! (cries)
:'''Gordon''': Okay, stay away from him now. Darling, go inside the restaurant please, and get a glass of water please.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Gordon:'''&lt;i&gt;[handing Mike a dish of lasagna]&lt;/i&gt; Okay, now into the microwave for four minutes--
:''[Mike, out of habit, reaches for it. Gordon yanks it back.]''
:'''Gordon:''' Fuck off. Are you serious?!
:''[Everyone laughs.]''
:'''Gordon:''' You're good at taking orders, but you've got a brain. Use it.

=== Zayna Flaming Grill (Part 1) [7.07] ===
:'''Gordon''': I've got a little quiz. Are you ready for this? ... How do you spell 'bistro'?
:'''Mark''': B-I-S-T-R-O.
:'''Gordon''': Uh-huh, good. Now, how do you spell 'dining'?
:''[Mark puzzles for a moment]''
:'''Mark''': D-I-N-N-I-N-G.
''[Gordon rolls his eyes]''
''[Amel laughs]''
:'''Gordon''': So, you wrote this menu?
:''[Mark laughs, nervously]''

=== Zayna Flaming Grill (Part 2) [7.08] ===

=== Bella Luna [7.09] ===
:''[Gordon meeting Traci, the manager, and discussing the problems with the restaurant]''
:'''Gordon:''' Are the locals biting?
:'''Traci:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' No? No one's biting?
:'''Traci:''' No. Not at all. And this place should be banging. We have to do things. I run a 50 Shades Of Grey bingo on Thursday night.
:'''Gordon:''' Say that again?
:'''Traci:''' 50 Shades Of Grey bingo.
:'''Gordon:''' Bingo?
:'''Traci:''' It's adult bingo.
:'''Gordon:''' Adult bingo?
:'''Traci:''' Yeah.
:'''Gordon:''' Are handcuffs involved?
:'''Traci:''' No.
:'''Gordon:''' No?
:'''Traci:''' Well, they could be if you wanted them.
:'''Gordon:''' But, I mean, why would you-- ''[facepalms]'' No, God, no. Geez, man.
:'''Traci:''' ''[laughing]''
:'''Gordon:''' I just arrived!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gordon:''' Are you kidding me? (to the staff) All of you, quick! ''(staff comes to Gordon)'' If you think I'm serving that, you're dreaming. We may as well go back to where we were!
:'''One of the staff:''' All right.
:'''Gordon:''' All of a sudden, we've just dropped our fucking standards! The next person that throws that out at me, I will throw them out!
:'''One of the staff:''' Yes, Chef.
:'''Gianfranco:''' Come on, guys, let's go.
:'''Gordon:''' Come here, you. ''(takes Gianfranco outside)'' Is that what—is that what you busted your arse off for?
:'''Gianfranco:''' No. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
:'''Gordon:''' Come on!
:'''Gianfranco:''' You're right.
:'''Gordon:''' It's in front of your eyes. Get 'em together! ''(throws plate of lasagna on the ground)''

[[Category:FOX shows]]
[[Category:Reality TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>dmge43o76r3xt54kzt7hkaz8crr1xav</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>WCW Monday Nitro</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154785</id>
      <parentid>3153833</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:57:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Eaglestorm</username>
        <id>16205</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* March 26 */ Tony and Scott</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="72001" xml:space="preserve">[[w:WCW Monday Nitro|WCW Monday Nitro]] was a professional wrestling program that aired on TNT Monday nights from September 4th, 1995 to March 26 2001.

== 1995 ==
=== September 4 ===
:''[Recent ex-WWF talent Lex Luger shows up at the beginning of the Sting/Ric Flair matchup.]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[notices Lex]'' Oooh, what in the hell is he doing here?! Get the camera off of him!
:'''Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael''': What is this?
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Wait a minute. He's got a right to be here, this is a [[w:Mall of America|public mall]].
:'''Eric''': Get him out of here!
:'''Steve''': Somebody call the security guards!
:'''Eric''': ''[as the crowd starts chanting &quot;Luger! Luger!&quot;]'' What?! Get the security and get him out of here!
:'''Bobby''': What's he doing wrong? What is he doing wrong?
:'''Steve''': This is just unabashed arrogance.
:'''Eric''': We have a major problem here.
:'''Bobby''': We have a situation starting here. A big one.
:'''Eric''': I want to know what he's doing here.
:'''Bobby''': Well don't ask me! Get on the headsets to the truck, ask somebody.

=== December 18 ===
:''[Madusa makes her way to the announce booth at the start of the show.]''
:'''Madusa''': All right. Can it everyone! ''[to Mongo]'' You too bad dog! I am Madusa, always have been Madusa and always will be Madusa. This is the WWF Women's Championship belt.
:'''Eric''': Whoa... Whoa! Wait a minute. ''[sees Madusa pick up a trash can and dump the belt in it]'' What? Look...that indeed it is!
:'''Steve''': ''[as Madusa does the act]'' Not in the trash can!
:'''Madusa''': And that's what I think of the WWF Women's Championship belt. This is the WCW, I am now in the WCW and they used to call me Alundra Blayze. But not anymore because this is where the big boys play and now this is where the big girls play! ''[dumps mic in the trash can as well]''
:'''Eric''': Holy smokes! Madusa, the WWF Women's Championship and the belt right here on Nitro. The belt in the trash can and I tell you what, I'm in shock! Wow!
:'''Steve''': Oh she got covered, she just got sucked up on that one in Connecticut, didn't she?
:'''Eric''': I'll tell you what...
:'''Bobby''': What a doll.

== 1996 ==
=== May 27 ===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': Welcome back live to the first hour of this edition of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT! Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko. And we are taking a look at the Mauler completely maul his opponent Steve Doll.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Well you know, Steve Doll's trying to get an offensive going.
:'''Tony''': ''[notices the crowd suddenly standing up for a [[w:Scott Hall|large man]] who just came in through the audience]'' Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?
:'''Larry''': But the Mauler, well he just got reversed right there. The Mauler runs him down.
:'''Tony''': That's not what I'm talking about.
:'''Larry''': What are you talking about?!
:''[The man, Scott Hall, leaps over the railing]''
:'''Tony''': Look here.
:'''Larry''': Well, what the hell?
:'''Scott Hall''': Get me a mic!
:'''Larry''': What's with this?
:'''Tony''': We need security out here. I have no idea, wait a minute! I can't believe what we're seeing.
:'''Hall''': ''[climbing into the ring]'' Hey, you people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here. Where is Billionaire Ted? Where is the Nacho Man? That punk can't even get in the building. Me, I go wherever I want, whenever I want. And where, oh where is Scheme Gene? 'Cause I've got a scoop for you. When that Ken-doll lookalike, when that weatherman wannabe comes out here later tonight, I got a challenge for him, for Billionaire Ted, for the Nacho Man and for anybody else in uh...WCW, huh-huh-huh. Hey, you want to go to war? You want a war? You're gonna get one! ''[leaves]''
:'''Tony''': Fans, what about the match? I don't know what to say. Randy Anderson's coming-- Randy. Randy, what's going on here? What about the match, Randy? What's going on? The match. Fans, we've gotta go to a break.
:'''Larry''': The match left!
:'''Tony''': I have no idea what to say. Stay with us. Geez.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey, lookie here.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You wanted to say some-
:'''Hall''': ''[as Eric talks]'' Ken doll, you got such a big mouth and we, we are sick of it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean? Who's we?
:'''Hall''': You know who. This is where the &quot;big boys play&quot;? What a joke! I tell you what, you go tell Billionaire Ted, you tell him, &quot;Get three of his very very best.&quot; Maybe the Nacho Man! &quot;Oooooooh....No.&quot; Hey, maybe he can get the Stinger! Ooooh, I'm so scared. You go get anybody you want because we...
:'''Eric''': Who do you mean &quot;We&quot;?
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. You wanna go to war? You wanna war? You got one. Only, only let's do it right. In the ring where it matters. Not in no microphones. Not in no newspapers or dirtsheets. Let's do it in the ring where it matters. If uh, if Billionaire Ted and his big boys, if they got any, uh guts...
:'''Eric''': You're stepping over the line.
:'''Hall''': Because we are coming down here and like it or not, 
:'''Eric''': Not.
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. ''[throws his toothpick at Eric.]''
:'''Eric''': ''[calmly]'' You're outta here.
:'''Hall''': If you say so!
:'''Eric''': You're outta here. ''[visibly shaken, looks at Heenan, then recomposes]'' I don't know what to say. We'll see you next week.

===June 3===
:''[Scott Hall appears again at the announce booth]''
:'''Scott Hall''': Just relax ''chico''. Yo, Ken Doll, I had such a good time last week that I came back for more.
:'''Eric''': Look there's no reason...
:'''Scott Hall''': Look, look, look, relax man, relax. You started it. You want to go to war? You got a war. You started it, we gonna finish it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean &quot;We&quot;? You come up with this We stuff.
:'''Scott Hall''': You know who man. You know who. Did Daddy Warbucks? Did he get his money yet?
:'''Eric''': ''[sees [[w:Steve Borden|Sting]] come out]'' Wait a minute, Stinger. Not here, not now. Don't even dignify it man.
:'''Sting''': You came out here last week and said some real horrible things about WCW. Some real horrible things about the Hulkster, about the Macho Man, about the Stinger. Somewhere along the way, you got lost because do you have any idea where you are? You're in the jungle baby! This is WCW! That's right! Hold on! And every week you come out here and you say you want three of the best.
:'''Scott Hall''': That's right man, three of the best.
:'''Sting''': You want three of the best, I don't see two of you. All I see is you and me. So why don't we just do this one on one right here, right now!
:'''Scott Hall''': Yo, yo, you wanna fight man? You wanna fight? You got one. Only, no one tells me what to do and ''chico'', nobody tells me when to do it. ''[throws his toothpick at Sting. Sting responds by slapping Hall]'' Ok, ok tough guy. I got a little, no, I got big surprise for you next week.

=== June 10===
:''[Scott Hall shows up again]''
:'''Eric''': Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't want any trouble from you. I don't want any trouble with you here, now, but I don't have to point out. You came out here last week. Where is it, the big surprise? I mean I heard a lot of talk but where's the walk? ''[Hall points behind Eric]'' What? Where is he?
:''[Kevin Nash, formerly known as Diesel in the WWF, appears from behind and grabs the mike]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, play [''sic'']. We ain't here to play! Now, he ''[referring to Hall]'' said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I'm here. You still don't have your three people and do you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as [[w:Marge Schott|Marge Schott]] reading excerpts from ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:'''Eric''': No trouble tonight, man. Speak your piece and...
:'''Nash''': Yeah, no trouble cause you know, I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where are these three guys? You know you couldn't get a paleontologist to get these fossils cleared? You ain't got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where's [[w:Hulk Hogan|Hogan]]? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of ''[[w:Thunder in Paradise|Blunder in Paradise]]''? Where's the Macho Man huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we're here! You wanna say something?
:'''Eric''': Look, I don't have the authority right here right now. You want a fight? Fight isn't within me. You want to face three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm going to be in Atlanta. I'll be in the offices of WCW. I'll try and get you your fight and do you know what? Live this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys want to show up? You want a fight? You show up and I'll see if I can get you your fight.
:'''Nash''': I don't know about you but they love us in Baltimore.
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash. Maybe these punks want a fight.
:'''Nash''': Yeah, bring what you got! The measuring stick just changed around here buddy. You're looking at it. ''[Tosses Bischoff around before he and Hall leave]''

===July 8===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Sting, a very somber mood tonight. I can't believe it. I can feel it, you can feel it. These people continue to make our lives very very tenuous. They did it again tonight right in the middle of your match with Arn Anderson. But lets go back to last night. What's your sense of what's happened at the ''Bash at the Beach''?
:'''Sting''': I am not at all surprised. What happened last night, I'm not surprised about coming from the two outsiders. But I will say I'm very very surprised at you Hulk Hogan. But I should've known. I should've known that when you were traveling to every town in that big fat limo. I should've known because you didn't want to travel with the Macho Man, the Total Package and the Stinger. Uhn-uhn, you were too busy making big movies and coming in for a little cameo appearance! You were too busy walking on the dark side! I should've known when you referred to the Macho Man, the Total Package and me as &quot;three little dogs&quot; waiting for a chance to wrestle the great Hulk Hogan. I should've known when I looked into your eyes. Do you know something, I made a mistake. But you made a bigger mistake because last night, you wiped out and trashed every single little kid, every single person that was a part of your life, that patterned their life after you! You told them to believe in the man upstairs! You told them to say their prayers and to take their vitamins! You told them to believe in themselves and you know something? It's a good thing you told them to believe in themselves because they sure as heck can't believe in you!
:'''Mean Gene''': By the way--
:'''Sting''': ''[grabs mike]'' And last but not least, to put the cherry on the top, all those little kids, you told them to stick it! No, you stick it Hulk! YOU STICK IT!
:'''Mean Gene''': That is very strong. By the way, as fate would have it, these two men and their partner last night. Lex Luger got knocked out early by the action so the two of you had to go at it against the Outsiders. But Macho Man Randy Savage, you were very close with Hulk Hogan as I was. You were part of the Mega Powers. And if anybody got it stuck up, stuck up, well, stuck to him, you really got it stuck to you.
:'''Randy Savage''': I got a message for Hollywood Hogan. What I want to tell you and what I want to do to you, I can't say here on television especially at Disney. But you take the worst thing you can think about and you multiply it by the number nine million and then you multiply it by infinity and beyond, it would be just like one grain of sand in the Sahara desert brother. Because, it's really really scary. What I'm thinking and going to do to you, yeah!

=== July 15 ===
:'''[[w:Gene Okerlund|Mean Gene]]''': Hulk Hogan, Outsiders, you have led us down the primrose path!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something Gene-o, I wish I would've done this two years ago brother because the New World Order is taking over professional wrestling. Hulk Hogan is bigger than the sport of professional wrestling. And with the Outsiders, the new blood, the foundation of the New World Order, we shall rule the wrestling world Mean Gene!
:'''Mean Gene''': [[What about the children]]? You know about the thousands and thousands of telephone calls that came into WCW. Every man, woman and child on the face of the earth is totally disgusted with you Hulk Hogan, including myself!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': We all know about the training, the prayers and the vitamins brother and like I said, these people out here, after I led their children down the right path had the gall to boo Hulk Hogan one more time. You fans can stick it brother!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, I think Sting and Eric Bischoff brought it up earlier on. I think Sting said it best earlier on when he retorted &quot;Hulk Hogan, ''you'' can stick it!&quot;
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something brother, as far as people like Sting go, ten years ago when I shook his hand in Venice Beach, he was a skinny little bodybuilder. And when he laid his eyes on Hulk Hogan, he was shaking in his boots. I heard all the crying from the so called Macho Man. For three years, he blamed his divorce, the fact that he couldn't rise to the occasion on Hulk Hogan brother. And over and over and over and over again this past week, I've heard WCW blame Hulk Hogan for their problems. The only problem is I'm the greatest wrestler in the world, I made professional wrestling, I will always be bigger than wrestling and with these two friends of mine, the New World Order shall rule the wrestling world!
:'''Eric''': This conceited jerk!
:'''Mean Gene''': You call these guys friends? You know about this man's background and this man's background, this nWo, Where is it going to go? Who's going to be a part of it? I think that's the question we're all asking ourselves and I'm going to ask you.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well these are the renegades brother! These are the men that when I open the door brother, they had the guts enough to walk through it. These are the guys that are going to set the trend for the nineties. They will lead Hulk Hogan and professional wrestling to its destiny. But these guys are just the foundation. The thing that everybody, the people out there don't realize is as I build my empire, will there be more outsiders that I bring in? Or will it be people that are so close to Ted Turner, maybe Eric Bischoff's friends. Who knows man? Maybe the guys that are in the locker room right now. There's always been a double loyalty man. In this business, they've been loyal to the promoters who have paid their bills and they've also been loyal to Hulk Hogan. Because they know where Hulk Hogan goes, that's where professional wrestling goes.
:'''Mean Gene''': You have to vent all of this on these people, the peers of this business. How about the kids that have looked up to you for years and years and now it comes down to this? And this is a pretty good example of the way your life is going to go Hulk Hogan.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know dude, I laid it out straight for all those kids, brother. They didn't want to follow the path, so I'm done with them! But as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to mess with that skinny little Macho Man or that crybaby Sting. I'm going right to the top of the ladder, brother! And at ''Hog Wild'', brother, on August the 10th, if the [[w:Paul Wight|Giant]] has got guts enough, I'm going to dismantle the whole Ted Turner organization in one night. We're going to take the WCW belt, make it the New World Order belt and we shall reign supreme from that day forward. And as far as I'm concerned brother, if Ted Turner has any boys in the back that have any guts at all, come on out right now! We'll beat up the whole WCW right now, and what are they gonna do?!!

=== September 16===
:''[Sting comes down to the ring with a microphone]''
:'''Sting''': ''[with his back turned to the main camera]'' I want a chance to explain something that happened last Monday night on ''Nitro''. Last Monday night, I was on an airplane flying from L.A. to Atlanta. When I got to Atlanta, I tuned in the TV to ''Nitro'' and I thought I was watching a rerun. It was a very convincing film. Often imitated but never duplicated though and what else did I see? I saw people, I saw wrestlers, I saw commentators and I saw best friends, doubt the Stinger. That's right, doubt the Stinger. So, I heard Lex Luger say &quot;I know where Sting lives, I know where he works out, I'm gonna go get him!&quot; So I said to myself, &quot;I'll just go into [[seclusion]]. I'll wait and see what happens on ''Saturday Night''.&quot; And I tuned in ''Saturday Night'' and what did I see? I saw more of the same, more doubt. Which brings me to ''Fall Brawl''. I knew I had to get to ''Fall Brawl'' to get face to face with the Total Package to let him know that it wasn't me and what I got out of that was, &quot;No, Sting. I DON'T BELEIVE YOU STING!&quot; Well, all I've got to say is, I have been mediator, I have been babysitter, I've given him the benefit of the doubt about a thousand times in the last twelve months! I have carried the WCW banner and I have given my blood, my sweat and my tears for WCW! So for all of those fans out there and all of those wrestlers and people who've never doubted the Stinger, I'll stand by you if you stand by me. But, for all of the people, all of the commentators, all of the wrestlers and all of the best friends who did doubt me, you can stick it! From now on, I consider myself a free agent. But that doesn't mean you won't see the Stinger. From time to time, I'm going to pop in when you least expect it. 

=== November 18===
:''[The show opens with the Outsiders in the ring with chairs having laid out the Nasty Boys and High Voltage. They go down to ringside where Tony and Larry are standing.]''
:'''Larry''': Not again. Not again with this!
:'''Tony''': What's the problem here?
:'''Kevin Nash''': Does this work? Nice to see you dressed up this week, Larry! ''[to Tony]'' Hey, I don't see you laughing today huh?
:'''Scott Hall''': Funny guy, huh?
:'''Nash''': I was so funny last week right? Funny like a clown right? Were you laughing at me? I ain't so funny tonight am I? You see, we can put this on any time we want. I can be funny, I can be deadly and so can this man! Hey, let me ask you a question.
:'''Hall''': You got the bad neck, right?
:'''Nash''': You got the bad neck, right? Do you want to pick up your kids, huh?
:'''Tony''': ''[to Larry who's not standing up for Tony]'' Do you want to step in here?
:'''Larry''': Hey, you're the one that laughed at them. They let me know what I think.
:'''Nash''': You talk about a triangle match, right? There's two of the combatants laid out right now.
:'''Hall''': You know, what I want to know is I've been hearing my whole career how scary the Faces of Fear are. They say, everybody says that Meng and the Barbarian are the two toughest guys in the business. Well you tell those two islanders, come on out here and we'll slap that coconut breath out of you. Tell them to come on down. You can't have a Pay Per View in WCW without inviting the nWo.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': You can't be upset by what happened. These guys are thugs, they're paid by Dibiase and you're okay. So relax about it, don't be all upset.
:'''Tony''': Yeah well, I don't need to be pushed around. I'm not a wrestler. You're a wrestler. So why didn't you step in front for me? How long have we been friends?
:'''Larry''': You're okay and I'm not Clint Eastwood.
:'''Tony''': Well I can only say this and I'm going to apologize to everybody because I've never done this before at all. But I don't need to be pushed around. I've got five children. I've got a wife. I've got a great job. I'll tell you what, big mouth! Why don't you go ahead? Why don't you go ahead and step in front of me? Why don't you handle the broadcast? Why don't you try play-by-play?
:'''Larry''': Don't get upset!
:'''Tony''': I don't need guys who are seven feet tall coming out here! ''[takes off his headset and walks away]''
:'''Larry''': I don't need guys seven feet tall either coming out here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Eric Bischoff is dismissing Roddy Piper's claim that he leads the NWO, which suddenly comes out and restrains Piper. Hulk Hogan embraces Bischoff, who later shakes Ted DiBiase]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Now that everybody realizes who everybody's working for... I mean, my God, this guy right here is the foundation of the WCW. Now he works for the NWO! 

== 1997 ==
===February 10===
:''[Randy Anderson appears with his family to appeal to Eric Bischoff about hiring him back after the events of Souled Out]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Kids come on up here. It's all right Randy. It's all right, kids, could you do me a favor. Would you please tell your daddy... that he's ''still fired? [NWO laughs]'' Would you do that for me?
:'''Montana Anderson''': Please, Mr Bischoff!
:'''Bischoff''': Montana please, tell your daddy he's fired, get on with his life.
:'''Kevin Nash''': ''[mocks]'' Do it for little Tiny Tim!
:'''Syxx''': God bless us everyone!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko review the Piper/Hogan match footage at Starrcade 1996 that Eric Bischoff confiscated and was somehow played, but when the tape suddenly stops as if it was taken off playback, just as Randy Anderson was about to count off Hogan as submitting to Piper...]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': What's going on here?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well that wasn't nothing...
:'''Schiavone''': We did not get this - ''[talks to production crew on the headset]'' what happened? Can anybody tell me what happened? The tape stopped? The tape broke?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well what happened was -
:'''Schiavone''': Someone's getting the tape in the production truck.
:'''Zbyszko''': Who's in the truck?
:'''Schiavone''': We're trying to find out fans, I apologize. I'm just talking to Craig Leathers, Keith Mitchell, in our video production truck. Someone apparently went and you hear the tape queueing up. You saw right there, I mean the hand was going up and it was gonna be the end of Hollywood Hulk Hogan with the sleeper. We all witnessed what happened, Eric Bischoff went into the video truck and grabbed the tape.
:'''Zbyszko''': Well, anyway, the world saw what happened, we knew about it, now the missing footage had been recovered and what happened-
:''[Eric Bischoff confronts the announcers with the tape]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Don't you ever, don't you EVER, EVER, pull a stunt like that again. You or anybody else in this organization ''[puts down mic and starts tearing out the tape]'' ever, ever again. ''[leaves]'' 
:'''Schiavone''': We'll take a break.
:'''Zbyszko''': He could beat up a tape, that's impressive!

===February 17===
:''[Eric Bischoff is fuming mad at Jimmy Jett passing Randy Anderson brass knuckles during his match with Nick Patrick]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': What do you think you're doing?!? You knocked him out! What is this? What is that? You know better than that! You know better than that! You used to be a referee!
:'''Jimmy Jett''': Hey he won the match-
:'''Bischoff''': You used to be a referee!! You are nothing! ''[to Anderson]'' And YOU. I saw it! Let me, let me tell you what you won. Now, you just won a permanent vacation and you are fired! Fired! Spell it, F-I-R-E-D! Leave the building now! Now! You're fired! 
:'''Jett''': It's not fair
:'''Bischoff''': It's not fair! Take those with you!

===September 1===  
:''[the NWO comes out spoofing the Four Horsemen, with Kevin Nash as Arn Anderson]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': I take care of Horsemen business. Before I go any further: Let me all of the Horsemen out here know one thing: Guys, the beer is on ice. You know something, it's pretty ironic that on Labour Day WCW would decide to honor me cause anybody who followed my career knows one thing: You were always wondering when I was gonna go into labour.

:You know I sat back that day and I watched that highlight tape of my career and I said to myself: You know: I'm a guy of average size, average speed, average quickness, average looks, average intelligence, average carpentry skills - but you know what? I parlayed that into a wrestling career that I might say so myself was quite excellent. But you know something? Four months ago, I had a neck injury. Subsequently I lost the feeling in my hand, my left hand. The significance of that: That's the hand I open beer with. But you know something? I willed myself back from that injury. I got to the gym - I didn't do anything there, I walked around - but I got to the gym. And you know what? I started a comeback.

:But about a week ago, I went to the neighborhood bar, I bellied up against the bar like only I can and a fat broad - that's right, a fat broad - came up and smacked me in the back. That sent a chill down me... same fat broads that've been following the Horsemen for 20 years. But as I looked at that longneck laying on that cheap industrial grey carpentry, I said to myself: How ironic. That wasn't so much that I was out three dollars and 75 cents, what it was to me was sand tickin' down through the hourglass - and everybody knows, so are the days of our lives. ''[Syxx imitates Ric Flair crying]'' You know one thing you can say, when Arn Anderson was comin' to town - beside the fact that I left a lot of unpaid bar tabs - was Arn Anderson was comin' to town. And you knew if I was on the card, how I was gonna give you 100 per cent - no matter how drunk, how hung over I was. I was gonna give you all ahead. And back in those days before the nWo, you eight people that bought those tickets, got one heck of a show. But you know what? As I come out here tonight, I ask you people: Don't remember how I used to be. Remember me how I look right now. ''[to Konnan as Steve McMichael]'' Good, Mongo!

:''[to Buff Bagwell as Curt Hennig]'' So Curt, that puts me and you and I got a challenge for you. Wait a second, I don't wanna fight you, cause I ain't want one for twenty years. What I got for you is a challenge, because as much as I wanna be a Horseman, I know if I come out here right now, I'd not only put him in danger, I would put my best friends in danger and I can't do that. So what I'm doing tonight is I got a challenge you and I ain't got much to offer you, cause the beer is already spoken for. But what I do got is I got a spot. A spot with the Four Horsemen. Not just a spot, not a liver spot, not a 'Spot' like your dog Spot. No, not just any spot – but myyyyy spot. So I need to know right now: Do you accept it? My spot - not their spot, liver spot, not dog Spot, not anybody's spot, MY spot to become a Four Horsemen. Not my spot, anybody's spot, dog Spot, liver spot, MY spot.

===September 15===
:''[The show opens with footage of Ric Flair after being stitched up in a hospital as a result of last night's Fall Brawl when Curt Hennig slammed the cage door in his head'']
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[very shaken up]'' Fans, uh... ''Nitro'', as you can see, is on the air. Before I go into this card, I need to say something that I've really never said before. You know, 13 years ago, I got into this business because of Ric Flair. I was a minor league baseball announcer in this same city. He went to bat for me for the promoters and I became a wrestling announcer and when I look back on what has happened to me, I credit Ric Flair. And you have seen Ric Flair and what hap.......I can't do this show. I'm sorry. ''[takes off his headset and leaves]''

===September 22===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': That's very impressive, a gentleman the stature of Hugh Morrus, and you absolutely got in there and manhandled him tonight. ''[Bill Goldberg just walks away]'' Sir, I've got to get a little bit more than that. Gentleman's just walking away from me.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Is he a mute?
:'''Mean Gene''': I can't believe that. Tony, I haven't seen anything like that. Very impressive. But who is this guy Goldberg?

===November 10===
:''[The NWO appears in the ring with Canadian flags and having brought back Kevin Nash...]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ...And now the announcement I know I have been waiting to make, 'cause I have been working on this for a long time, the newest addition of the NWO, and Bret Hart, because you were such a... ''[punches the air] knockout'' kind of a guy! ''[everybody laughs, knowing its a reference to Bret punching Vince McMahon after the Montreal Screwjob]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': He passed the initiation!
:'''Bischoff''': We have a special, special ''[pulls out paper from his jacket]'' gift for you. Liz, can you come around here? ''[passes out paper to NWO members]'' All right let's do it. On three, one, two - this is for you, Bret - three ''[the NWO sings O Canada]''

===November 17===
:'''Rick Rude''': Oh what a difference a day makes. Twenty-four little hours. You know and we all have our 15 minutes of fame and I'd like to take a couple of my 15 minutes to talk about the rights and the wrongs in the world of professional wrestling. What's wrong in the world of professional wrestling is Shawn Michaels claiming to be World Champion when he never beat Bret Hart. What's wrong with the world of professional wrestling is for Vince McMahon to instruct the [[w:Montreal Screwjob|referee to ring the bell]] in order to rob Bret Hart of his title. But on the other hand, what's right in the world of professional wrestling is for Bret Hart to abandon the Titanic and swim to the refuge of the nWo. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is nWo's course to destruct WCW. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is for the nWo to beat the living shhhh out of the man called Sting. Now the only thing wrong with that entire situation is that I didn't have the chance to participate. Sting second verse is gonna be same as the first. A little bit rowdier and a whole lot worse, because this time Sting I will partake.

===December 22===
:''[Hulk is in the middle of another promo when a WCW event staffer delivers him a silver gift box]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': The NWO is just too sweet. Oh, oh my God! ''[sees Bret Hart arrive in a limousine with women and a male waiter accompanying him]'' You're right. It's only one guy. The newest member of the NWO, Bret Hitman Hart. I knew it had to be him, boss. Thank you Bret. ''[opens box and suddenly pulls up a fake severed head of himself; screams in horror]'' Oh my God! ''[points to Bret thinking he delivered the head]''
:'''Mike Tenay''': Looks like a message has been delivered to Hollywood Hulk Hogan and the NWO, Mr Rude.
:'''Rick Rude''': What is this?
:'''Bobby Heenan''': What is going on now? 
:'''Rude''': Is Bret Hart trying to say he wants a piece of the NWO? 
:'''Tenay''': ''[sees spotlight focused on Sting]'' Look at that, it's Sting! He's arrived on the scene.
:'''Heenan''': He's on top of the NWO sign, at the top of the building here in Macon.
:'''Rude''': ''[as Sting ziplines to the ring]'' Take him out Hollywood, take him out! 
:'''Tenay''': ''[Hogan scampers out of the ring]'' Sting is on his way to the ring. We'll see you Sunday at Starrcade!

== 1998 ==
===May 11===
:''[Eric Bischoff shoots on DX's recent assaults]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': As I look through the crowd tonight, I wonder what you must be thinking and I wonder what Vince McMahon is thinking. You know because for the last couple of weeks he's been sending his little wannabes around demanding to talk to ''moi''. The only problem with that is, he only sends them where he knows I'm not going to be. That's okay because I've got a little solution. Sean Waltman, you want an apology from me? You actually show up at our offices on a Monday afternoon when I think even you Sean are smart enough to figure out I probably wouldn't be there. As far as the apology goes - bite me! I apologize to no one.

:But I've got a better idea because, Sean, I know you're just a little puppet and you do what Vince McMahon tells you to do, so Vince McMahon, this is for you. I'm coming to your backyard this Sunday. That's right, in Worcester, Massachussetts we've got a little PPV thing going on and I've got a hell of an idea. You want me? I'm gonna be in your back yard. Consider this an open invitation, Vince McMahon. You show up at Slamboree, it will be me and you McMahon, in the ring. How about it, Vinnie? But I want to warn you people right now, if you think Vince McMahon has got the guts to show up, don't buy this PPV because I guarantee you he is not man enough to step into this ring with me. But I'll be there Vinnie Mac, I'll be waiting for you. And I'm going to knock you out. See you there.

===July 6===
:''[The NWO meet somebody who's just arrived and Hogan earlier hinted as somebody Goldberg must defeat first to face him in the main event - Scott Hall]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': ''[as they walk to the arena]'' You're toast.
:'''Scott Hall''': Can't have a party without me, baby.
:'''Hogan''': That's right brother.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[to Hall]'' God, we missed you!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Bischoff''': Oh and you know how!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Hogan''': I like it.
:'''Curt Hennig''': How you feeling?
:'''Hall''': Too sweet.
:'''Hogan''': Got the party goods, we got the goods for the party, let's go!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony Schiavone''': The fans stand, showing their signs, and we are walking with Goldberg, and security from Goldberg's own locker room area following with him all the way to the ring, as you look live back in the locker room area. Surrounding Goldberg, some of Atlanta's finest, Doug Dillinger as well with WCW security, and here they come.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': What's going through his mind right now? I've never been in that situation, going for a world championship, let alone with that list of victories this man has, in his backyard, hometown in front of everybody he played for, played with. What an evening, what drama right now.
:'''Tony''': Long walk for Goldberg, but it's been a long wait since he arrived in the Georgia Dome earlier in the day. So what's another long walk for Goldberg? They're almost down here now.
:''[Goldberg now walks alone]''
:'''Bobby''': Well, Hogan may be taking a long walk too. A ''real'' long walk back to the dressing room empty-handed.
:'''Tony''': But could the unblemished mark, the incredible series of wins by Goldberg come to a crashing end here tonight?
:'''Bobby''': And you know, Tony, if Hogan is to defeat this man, you know what the nWo's gonna be like then with Hogan and Eric Bischoff in charge.
:'''Tony''': ''[as Goldberg reaches the entrance]'' And there he is.
:'''Mike Tenay''': And here comes the eruption.
:'''Bobby''': Bigger than before.
:'''Tony''': This is his moment.
:''[Goldberg stands on the ramp as the pyrotechnics envelope him for twenty seconds. When they subside, he walks to the ring surrounded by the security from before]''
:'''Bobby''': It's a long way down.
:'''Tony''': There you look at Goldberg, and think about what Goldberg represents. A virtual unknown in this sport who walked into WCW, and he represents every wrestler who wanted just to walk in here and become the World Champ. That's what he represents as he makes his way to the ring.
:'''Bobby''': He looks ready! Do it for me! Do it for the fans! Get rid of Hogan! And what's Hogan's mentality gonna be at ''Bash at the Beach'' if he's not heavyweight champion of the world along with Rodman?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Look at Goldberg! He's ready!
:'''Tony''': He's poised... ''[Goldberg spears Hulk Hogan]'' Hogan goes down!
:'''Bobby''': Okay, there's part one! Now finish him off! Finish him off!
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg signals for the Jackhammer]'' He's calling for it!
:'''Bobby''': This is it! This is it! ''[Goldberg sets Hogan up for the Jackhammer]'' Your career's on the line here! Do it! Do it! This place'll erupt when he picks him up.
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg lifts Hogan in a suplex]'' He's got him up! ''[...and slams Hogan to the mat]'' Oh Hell Yeah!
:'''Tony and Bobby''': ''[counting with the referee]'' One...
:'''Tony''': ''[continues]'' ...two...THREE!!!
:'''Bobby''': OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! We got a new heavyweight champion of the world! The first undefeated man in the history of this sport to ever win the World Championship, and have a record of 107, 108...who cares?! There's zero on the other side! We've got a new champion! Listen to this! ''[pauses to acknowledge the cheering crowd and &quot;Goldberg&quot; chants]'' Wow.
:'''Mike''': Thirty-one-year-old Bill Goldberg, less than ten months in the sport, is on top of the wrestling world.
:'''Tony''': ''[off a shirt]'' &quot;Who's next?&quot;
:'''Bobby''': Who cares?
:'''Tony''': &quot;Who cares&quot; is right. The hero has come through, lades and gentlemen, you have witnessed professional wrestling history on many levels. A man who is undeniably the toughest we have seen in decades, a man who undeniably will lead pro wrestling into the next millennium, stands in the Georgia Dome in front of more than 39,000 fans.
:'''Bobby''': Tony, there's a new sheriff in town.
:'''Tony''': When we go to ''Bash at the Beach'', Goldberg will be the world champ. Its only six days away.
:'''Bobby''': We still got ''Thunder'', Wednesday.
:'''Tony''': With the new world champion. Well, there's nothing more that this announce crew can add to what you've been a witness here tonight. It's been a night for the ages, it's been a night that we will never forget because on Monday, July 6th, 1998, Goldberg captured the gold. Goldberg, went to 108 and 0, and in less than one year, Goldberg, the phenomenon that is Bill Goldberg, at age 31, is the heavyweight champion of the world, and they're not going anywhere...
:'''Bobby''': No.
:'''Tony''': They're still standing, chanting his name, paying homage to their hero. 
:'''Mike''': Let the celebration begin!
:'''Tony''': For Iron Mike Tenay and Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan...
:'''Bobby''': Thank you!!
:'''Tony''': ...and Larry Zsbysko, and Mean Gene, and everybody in pro wrestling... Goodnight, America!!
:'''Mike''': Goldberg's the champ! Let's go!

===August 17===
:''[Hollywood Hogan is in the middle of a promo calling out DDP for &quot;somebody from his past.&quot; Jim Hellwig, aka Warrior comes in and enters the ring]''
:'''Warrior''': Talk to me, Warriors!!! ''[at top rope]'' Feel the real power, Hogan!!
:'''Hollywood Hogan''': ''[shaken by his appearance]'' I thought you were dead!
:'''Warrior''': Who holds the absolute power now, Hollywood Hogan? Unleash that raising voice, Warriors! [Warrior Chants] Seems as if no formal introduction is gonna be necessary! Actually, it even seems as if there are those who anticipated my arrival! ''[disgusted at Hogan offering his NWO shirt as if inviting him to join]'' What is that smell? You might want to use it to clean up the mess you just made all over yourself! You need to open your eyes and ears, take control of the limited ability you have to understand the words I am about to say. For years, I have watched while this industry, with you as it's figurehead, has tried to create what is simply un-re-cre-at-able. I have heard, listened to all the innuendos and speculation that something ULTIMATE or WARRIOR may soon reappear. Welcome to the reappearance!&lt;/br&gt; Those things, Hogan, which are irreplaceable, whether they be people, places, or things, are never forgotten. You are witnessing that - RIGHT NOW! History tells us, Hogan... ''[“Hogan sucks”-Chants]'' Let's talk about something he doesn't know! History tells us, Hogan, that a man's legacy is build from the premise that within his life the moments lived, once lived, become a piece of his history. Somehow, you have conveniently, even eloquently, misplaced pieces of your history.&lt;/br&gt; In the [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania_VI_(1990)|one time, epochal battle between us]], Hogan, you were the quintessential influence of what was good, great, and heroic. But different than you may remember, and albeit you may have beaten myths, legends, giants, and other great men, you never - never - beat a warrior. AND, certainly, not THE ULTIMATE ONE! As a victor of that one-time battle, I defeated what was, until then, undefeatable. I conquered what was then unconquerable. I dominated what was, until then, indomitable. On that day, you were great. I was ULTIMATE!&lt;/br&gt; Let me introduce myself, to those two fools that stand behind you. Let's see, this - dude ''[points to the Disciple]'' - must be your barber. And ''[to Eric Bischoff]'' who are you, little man? Who are you?
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You know who I am. My name is Eric Bischoff, I run this company and who invited you?
:'''Warrior''': ''[laughs]'' Different than you want to make people believe, I never received an invitation, I showed up on my own accord, and let me tell you, Mr. Eric Bischoff, if you stick your nose in my business, you only, very quickly, prepare for your own demise. Furthermore, when I get done with my business here, I'm going to be sending you a bill. I suggest you pay it. I have waited patiently. The WARRIORS have waited all too patiently.&lt;/br&gt; Now - NOW - the virtue of justice unties my hands so that I can continue to fulfill a destiny set in motion upon that memorable day years ago - a destiny at the next level - a destiny beckoning the next Super Hero. There really is no sadder sight than when a grown man fears the challenges in his life so much that he rationalises adolescent behaviour to the point where he carries out heinous and self-indulgent actions - YOUR evilness, the evilness you embody and portray, is intolerable.&lt;/br&gt; I am the one that has the power to destroy you. It's source, Hogan, the truth, is inexhaustible. I come here, not to beat you up tonight, Hogan - beating you means nothing anymore. Everybody already has. No no no no no no no, that's too easy. Because you felt guilty for being who you were. Your mind became weak and Hulkamania became boring. I come here, Hogan, to tell you next week I intend to launch a revolution not even YOU can control. I ask you to find the courage - check it out - next week, same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel.&lt;/br&gt;

===September 14===

:'''Arn Anderson''': Can you smell it, JJ? Take a breath. Can you smell it? When 15,000 people blow the roof off a place, that's what a pop smells like. Take a bow. What you said to me is what all those people have been saying to me for a year and a half, and only a true friend would say that. They said &quot;Arn Anderson, stand up and be a man, like you've always been!&quot; And I couldn't hear those words, 'cause something was in the way and I'm gonna start at the beginning, because you have to start at the beginning because tonight IS a new beginning for the Four Horsemen.
:Now when I was a kid, like all kids, people asked you &quot;what do you wanna be when you grow up?&quot; There was no grey area for me, I always knew I wanted to be a wrestler. And when that finally happened for me, it was the proudest day of my life. And in 1986, I started coming to these towns, just like Greenville, South Carolina, as a Horseman. And my life changed forever, and the doors it opened for me, I had never dreamed of. And wrestling the greatest wrestlers in the world in a town like this and all across this country showed me who I was. And every day that I woke up since then I tried to uphold the standards that we, you and I and the rest of us set for ourselves.
:And about a year and a half ago, I laid down on an operating table and when I woke up, Arn Anderson the wrestler was dead, and I thought to myself how could I be a Horseman if I couldn't be a wrestler. Well, the fact is I couldn't in my mind...
:'''Crowd''': We Want Flair!
:'''Arn''': Trust me, everybody's gonna get what they want tonight, Bischoff. Eric Bischoff.
:So when I thought I could no longer be a Horsemen, Chris Benoit came to me first and he said &quot;this can all happen.&quot; And with that prelude, I would like to bring the other three Horsemen out right now. Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael, come on down. ''[Steve McMichael enters the ring, as do the other Horsemen when called]'' Chris Benoit, come on down. Dean Malenko, come on down.
:Now, before we go any further. Chris Benoit, you got this thing rolling, and I'm gonna go on record as saying, if there's a finer wrestler in all the land than you, I don't know who it is. Your intensity, the first time I saw you wrestle, made you something special. You are something special in my eyes, you knew what it meant to be a Horsemen. You will carry that tradition way past the year 2000.
:Mongo McMichael, you're hard-headed, lotta times you're hard to be around, but the fact is in my eyes, you're all man. You're certainly All-Pro, and when this is all said and done, if I've got anything to say about it, you will mean to this sport what you've meant to the sport of pro football.
:Now Dean Malenko. I've been out here ya/king for the last ten years about what it meant to be a Horseman: work ethic, respect for the business, respect for each other, respect for the people that came before us. And while I was yakking the last year, and the last couple of months, you were out there fighting the fights for the Horsemen. You exemplify what a Horseman has always meant: overachievement. Being the very best you could be, each and every day of your life, whether you were sick, or hurt, or whatever the case may be, and it makes me proud, now I'm gonna say one more time. I've said that you didn't get it; well, ''I'' didn't get it, because if there was ever a Horseman it makes me a little misty-eyed and real proud to call on this day the finest thing you can be in this sport of professional wrestling, that's a Horseman.
:Ladies and gentlemen, through the year 2000, we're gonna do exactly what all of you across this nation have asked: &quot;Arn Anderson, bring back the Horsemen!&quot; But I feel it fair to tell ya, I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens next. 'Cause we don't wear white hats, we're not nice guys, and I can tell you this: heads are gonna roll! So, I've said it: Be careful what you wish for, because now you have it!
:Ah, what a goof! What a goof! You know, I get accused of gettin' racked in the head a few times and having a little touch of Alzheimer's. My God! I almost forgot the fourth Horseman! Ric Flair, get on down here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ric Flair''': Thank you, thank you very much. I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty - five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now, somebody told me that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be true that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff said was dead, is alive and well? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, &quot;Disband the Horsemen. They're dead. Disband the Four Horsemen.&quot; You know what? I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! ''[Bischoff appears at the entrance way]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You're history! This is my TV!!
:'''Flair''': Bischoff, whatever you think... You're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power! 
:'''Bischoff''': You'll never ever wrestle on my television again!
:'''Flair''': You suck! You... I hate your guts. I hate your guts. 
:'''Bischoff''': ''[as he walks away]'' This is my house! You're history!
:'''Flair''': You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, you are a no-good son of a bitch. 
:'''Bischoff''': You're history!
:'''Flair''': Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!

===December 14===
:''[Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen just fought off the NWO, and he's still livid over Eric Bischoff kissing his wife the week before]''
:'''Ric Flair''': BISCHOFF!!! For 25 years, for whatever I have been, good and bad, I've been a man, you son of a bitch! And good or bad, I can walk in the door of my house and know that those kids, and that wife forgave me for everything I ever did wrong because they depended on me to live day in and day out! You, you start out, you come in here, you promise me the world and then you take my career, you try to shitcan that, that didn't work, because ''[to the fans]'' they, right here, 40,000 strong, wouldn't let you do it!
:'''Bobby Heenan''': It's the most intense I've ever seen him.
:'''Flair''': Then, you put your lawyers on me and you know what, you damn near broke me, but I would like to the wire, I fought you every step of the way. I gave in, I came back, not 'coz of you, but because my little boy, ten years old, walked up to me and said, &quot;Dad, why don't you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the world?&quot; He didn't understand politics, he didn't understand lawyers, but he understands that every day of his life, his dad said two things to him: Never quit. Promise me for as long as I am alive, you will never quit - and last Thursday night, you stepped over the line AND I ALMOST QUIT! I almost couldn't live it, you put your hands on my children, you kissed my wife, you no-good rotten bastard! What do you think my kids felt when they went to school, embarrassed? No. Shocked? No. You stepped over the line. You took something...
:''[Eric Bischoff appears at the entranceway]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[mock sadness]'' Oh, Ric, I feel so bad.. ''[sees Flair running up to him; to security]'' STOP HIM STOP HIM!!! ''[security restrains Flair]'' Come on, come on! Come and get me, come and get me be careful with him, he's got a bad heart! He's got a bad heart! ''[as the officers cuff him]'' Arrest him! Arrest him, so I can fire him!!

== 1999 ==
=== January 4===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': If you're even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans, do not. Because we understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title. ''[sarcastically]'' That's gonna put some butts in the seats.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, I want to reiterate something I talked about before the commercial break. If you're thinking about changing channels to our competition, we want to let you know that unlike us, they've got their show in the can, their show's been taped. Later tonight, Mick Foley, who once wrestled here as Cactus Jack, is gonna win their World Title. I mean, that's gonna be their World Champion. Ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, as you know, it's getting close to the 11:00 hour. We're gonna stay right here, we're gonna follow all the action as long as it takes, so stay with us. These are not taped matches. This is happening live, this is ''Nitro''. ''[Bell rings]'' The bell sounds, Billy Silverman making the call. No matter what happens, we're staying with you here tonight.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Even if it goes on ''all'' night, we're gonna be here.
:'''Tony''': That's what we're all about.
:'''Bobby''': We're live!
:...
:'''Tony''': Listen to the fans! Look at Hogan's reaction!
:'''Bobby''': Over 40,000+! This is better than a playoff game!
:'''Tony''': Hell, this is what pro wrestling, what World Championship Wrestling is all about!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[on Hogan]'' He's been in so many big matches.
:'''Bobby''': Boy, he has.
:''[Hogan fakes a punch, [[w:Fingerpoke of Doom|then lightly pokes Kevin Nash, who drops to the mat.]] Hogan covers him.]''
:'''Tony''': ''[as Silverman counts]'' What was that about? What's going on here? ''[Silverman counts to three. Hogan, Nash, Hall, and Scott Steiner celebrate in the ring]'' What just happened here?
:'''Bobby''': This stinks.
:'''Michael Buffer''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new Heavyweight Champion of the world, from nWo Hollywood, Hulk Hogan!
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[having been silent all night]'' It is unbelievable! The new World Heavyweight Champion, Hollywood Hulk Hogan!

===October 11===

:'''Tony Schiavone''': Before we start with tonight's action, Brain, there's something we both, but particularly you, have to say about our longtime friend Gorilla Monsoon.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Gorilla will be sadly missed. He was one big, tough man, he was a decent honest man, and we're all going to miss him very much. And you know the pearly gates in heaven?
:'''Tony''': Yeah.
:'''Bobby''': It's now gonna be called the Gorilla position. Goodbye, my friend.

==2000==
===February 7===
:''[Scott Steiner, his women, and the NWO are in the ring]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': Now last week, I was watching TV and I watched a 53-year-old man come down here who wears more loose skin than a Shar-Pei puppy come out here saying he's still &quot;The Man.&quot; I see Ric Flair No.2, the Nature Boy come out here, who's been the butt-end of all the jokes, 'cause he's supposed to be the limousine-riding, jet-flying son of a gun, but I'm saying one time, you shoulda take a cab, and used to that money to fix that scrooked yellow teeth! So I asked myself, &quot;if WCW was going to hire the Nature Boy No.2, why wouldn't they hire the Nature Boy, the ''original'' Nature Boy, Buddy Rogers?&quot; Now I know that Buddy Rogers is dead - God rest his soul - but Ric Flair, your career is dead! And I know as he lays six feet under, he's still styling and profiling, 'cause when you used your little brain and stole his name, there's one thing you couldn't steal, and that was his class. So when you walked down that aisle last week, I know I wasn't alone, 'cause the people at home, all they did was grab their remote, change the channel to WWF and watch Stone Cold, a person you and your old friends got fired from here 'cause you're a jealous, old bastard. So Ric Flair, remember this, in this wrestling business, there's never been a bigger ass-kissing, butt-sucking bastard in this business, but also in life, you're the biggest ass-kiss, back-stabbing, butt-sucking bastard and you belong where you're at, in WCW, because WCW sucks... and so do you! Me? I'm just gonna stand here in the NWO for life!

===April 10===
:''[Jeff Jarrett reveals Vince Russo as the Powers That Be]''
:'''Vince Russo''': You know, after giving six years of my life to the World Wrestling Federation I came to WCW with one thing in mind - and that was to beat Vince McMahon at his own game! And you know what? Within a matter of weeks, the new blood in WCW was not only getting back in the game, they were changing the game! And that's when the good ol' boy network kicked in - afraid of change, and more importantly afraid of their jobs - the political BS took place in the back to bring Vince Russo down. And you stayin' at home know who you are 'cause you're watching me now. And then one day I'm told that there's gonna be a change in direction - a change that I knew SUCKED! And you know what? I wasn't the only one who knew - Benoit knew - Guerrero knew - Saturn knew - Malenko knew - Douglas knew - and they left! They're gone! Scott Steiner - he knew it, and they suspended his ass! Well you know what? That's all over now. It's done. And Vince Russo is back in charge again. And I wanna turn around now and I wanna say something to everybody in this ring. It is OVER. The old boys management is over. The inflated egos in the back, afraid to lose their spot - it is over. It is the dawning of a new day - it is your opportunity - seize that opportunity!
:''[Eric Bischoff appears]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Are you done yet? Let me tell you something. This man - Vince Russo and I - have more in common than anybody knows. But the big thing is the fact that we were both screwed by the same... good ol' boys network. Vince is right - those days are over. But it's okay! I don't even mind. And you know why I don't mind? Because it's giving me a hell of an opportunity to think about all the great things I did in WCW, but it's also given me an opportunity to realize the mistakes I've made... mistakes like Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond Dallas Page, and oh yeah, oh yeah... let's not forget Sid &quot;Wished he was&quot; Vicious. But you know what the biggest mistake I've ever made? I mean this is the real big one. Hulk Hogan. I'm sorry - I really am sorry.
:Everybody told me he would screw me - he would use me - they said, do not look into that red and yellow light because you will be blinded. Well, I was blinded, but tonight I've got 20/20 vision - I'm seeing real clearly for the first time in a long time, and right now I want to apologize to everybody in this ring - The New Blood - and I want you guys to know that if there's anything I can do for Vince Russo that will help you, I am there for him - I am there for you, because it is a whole new WCW. And where are they? Where are they, where is Diamond Dallas Page? Where is Sting? Where are they?
:'''Russo''': I think they're hiding in the back with the old tail between their legs.
===July 15===
:''[Tony Schiavone and Mark Madden talk about the Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson sex tape on Nitro and the subsequent segment between Torrie and Shane Douglas on Thunder.]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ... that fueled the fire for this &quot;Viagra on a Pole&quot; Match.
:'''Mark Madden''': I'll tell you... I'll tell you what, you can't come out of here limping in a match like this. You gotta get it up right away and keep it up.
===August 14===
:'''Vince Russo''': ''[Standing in the ring with Tank Abbott at the start of the show]'' You know, it seems like deja vu all over again. I stood in this very ring [[w:Bash at the Beach|one month ago]], and I made history. I made an example out of somebody... and you all know who [[w:Hulk Hogan|that]] is, because that piece of shit hasn't been around since! Well tonight, I'm gonna make an example on live TV out of another piece of shit, Goldberg! You don't screw with me and the fact is I came out here tonight to fire Bill Goldberg's ass on national TV! Yeah, cheer for him you asshole Canadians! Well you know what? Brad Siegel wouldn't let me fire Goldberg because the fans love Goldberg! Well I say screw the fans and I say screw Bill Goldberg! And Goldberg, since I could not fire your ass, well I'm going to have your ass kicked right here tonight and he's right here Bill. Remember what happened at the Phillips arena Bill? Well we all know that was bullshit! So I say Bill, you bring it out here and lets call it in the ring. Do it Tank! You know, let me explain something to you assholes! You see, Bill Goldberg, Bill Goldberg believes in his own little mind that if this world were real, then he could take everybody! He could kick everybody's ass! He could kick your ass Tank! You know Bill, you think you're Superman, you think you're invincible, you think I can't beat you huh? Well I'll tell you what, I've got the kryptonite to stick up your ass tonight pal! What do I got to do? Do I got to beg you to come out here chickenshit?! What's the matter Bill? You don't want to come out here? You don't know the script? You don't know the storyline? Tank will call your ass!
===September 11===
:''[Big Poppa Pump is interviewed by Mean Gene]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': That's right Mean Gene, I don't lay down for nobody and whether I leave here the world champion tonight, it don't matter because it's not going to change my focus on getting even with Goldberg for fracturing my face at Fall Brawl. Goldberg! I'm getting even for you fracturing my face and I'm gonna prove to you that I'm the man with the largest arms in the world! I'm the genetic freak and size does matter! And that statement, Mean Gene, comes true whether I'm in the ring or out of the ring. See where all my freaks are horizontal, they understand size, they appreciate size and size does matter and they know that they don't have to wait for the Earth to rotate on a 47-degree axis so the stars can touch the sky and create an equinox so they see the Big Dipper. No no no, all they gotta do is call the Big Poppa, cause I'm the man with the big dipper and satisfaction's coming when I go behind and do the bump n' grind and it's only a matter of time before they call me the big bad booty daddy! So Goldberg, realize this. I only care about two things in this world: my freaks and my peaks and I'll beat your ass down at Fall Brawl and I'm about to put you in the Steiner Recliner and I'm gonna whisper in your ear, 'Size does matter, bitch!'

==2001==
===March 19===
:''[Booker T calls out Big Poppa Pump and Ric Flair]''
:'''Booker T''': Yo Steiner, Flair. I told you I was gonna talk to the man and that man is Eric Bischoff, so shut up and listen.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[by phone patch]'' Thank you Booker. For those of you in the arena and all of you watching around the country this evening, I would very much would have chosen to be there tonight in person as I could be but given everything that's going on tonight, that's just not possible. Many of you may know that for the past six months I've been working with a group of people whose goal was - and is - to acquire World Championship Wrestling and to grow it once again to becoming a competitive, dominant wrestling organization worldwide. 
:But recently, we've hit a couple of roadblocks that may be in fact brick walls, and while it is still in my power, I want to do something befitting what could be very well the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks. Given the fact that that wrestling has been such an important part of Turner's history for the past 29 years, I've been thinking over the weekend on what I could do to provide an exciting program that this historic event should be. To that end, I want to make an announcement now that next Monday night in Panama City is indeed going to be a &quot;Night of Champions.&quot; By that, I mean every championship will be up for grabs, starting with the World Cruiserweight Championship, the Cruiserweight Tag Team Championships, the World Tag Team championship, the US title, and the World Heavyweight will also be up for grabs next Monday night at Panama City. And Scott Steiner, Booker T, I want you to, to be aware now that your match is going to be a &quot;Title Vs Title&quot; match. The contracts are prepared, a WCW representative is standing by to make sure that the contracts are executed. Read them carefully, sign them, be prepared to defend your titles next Monday night. And also given the historic nature of this occasion and my relationship with this company for nearly ten years, I wanna personally extend an open invitation to any former - and I mean ''any former'' - World Heavyweight champion in WCW to join us in Panama City, and don't be afraid to bring your boots with you. 
:Lastly, Ric Flair, you and I have had a very rocky relationship over the past ten years and while I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and what you've done in wrestling history and what you've done for WCW for so long now, I want to make sure that in your case, a promise made is a promise kept - and Ric Flair, it is in your best interest this evening - to kiss Dusty Rhodes' ass. ''[Flair is flustered]'' That being said, I'll see you all in Panama City next Monday night, The Night of Champions, thank you.

===March 26===
:''[After the WCW opening logo, Vince McMahon appears]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Imagine that. Me, Vince McMahon. Imagine that, here I am, on WCW television. How can that happen? Well, there's only one way. You see that it was just a matter of time before I, Vince McMahon, bought my competition. That's right, I own WCW, so therefore in its final broadcast tonight on TNT, I have the opportunity to address ''[hands gesturing to camera]'' you the WCW fans. I have an opportunity to address, you the WCW superstars. What is the fate of WCW? Well tonight, in this special simulcast, you will all find out, because the fate - ''[cups hands]'' the very fate of WCW is in ''my hands''.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric Flair comes down to the ring]''
:'''Ric Flair''': Did I - Did I - WOOOOO! Did I happen to hear Vince McMahon say he was goin' to hold WCW in the palms of his hands? Is that what he said? Does that mean that YOU are gonna hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race, the Road Warriors, Sting, Luger, the Steiners, Bagwell, Ric Flair, Steamboat, does that mean you're gonna hold us all in the palm of your hands? To coin a phrase, I don't think so! You know, at twelve o'clock today, someone very special to me said, &quot;Do not go onto that show tonight knowin' it's the last time that you'll ever be on TNT or TBS&quot; - knowing it's the last time, she said to me, &quot;Don't go out there and cry - don't go out there and say you're sorry&quot; because I'm not - I've been fourteen times the World Champion - in my eyes, one of the greatest, you got it! The greatest wrestling organization in the world - WCW!

:We... I'm talkin' about the Stings, the Lugers, the Steiners, the Road Warriors - I'm talkin' about my best friend, Arn Anderson and the Four Horsemen - we have been on a par, and we have been equal to any wrestling organization in the world - as a matter of fact, we have run neck and neck with you, Vince McMahon, for years - for YEARS - and just for trivia, Vince McMahon, do you know that in 1981, when you were trying to become an announcer, your dad was on the board of directors and voted for ME to be the world champion - WOOOO! How 'bout that? And ever since that day, I have been a limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin-dealin', son of a gun, that along with the whole WCW dammit all, have kissed the girls worldwide, and made 'em cry! 'Cause ya see, we were every bit the force, we were WCW - we lived, we breathed, we sweat, we paid the price to be the best - never been about the boys - it's always been WWF vs. the WCW in the office - the boys that have gone out there, night in and night out, doing everything they could to be the very best at what they chose to do in their life - those boys are here tonight - we are!

:We're not going anywhere, you can't hold us in your hands and predict our life! We're WCW! We've bled and we've sweat - when was the last time you wrestled for an hour, cut yourself five times, bled for 45 minutes... when were you there? You weren't! You weren't! You were never in the dressing room, on the road 40 days and 40 nights, bleedin', sweatin', goin' to the next town, you weren't there, you can't hold people's lives in your hands. We're the greatest wrestling company of all time - I wanna say it again - you can't control us or our future, and in closing, let me say this - in all my years in this sport, my greatest opponent with this company has been Sting - so tonight, if we're going out, if we're going out on a high note, Stinger, the Nature Boy wants you right here, because - that's right - that's right - ya hear it, Sting? Sting, my greatest opponent - Sting, it's your last chance - your last chance to be... ''[crowd chants Sting]'' Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting - Sting! To be - the man, you've gotta beat the man, and Sting... I'M. THE. MAN. WOOOOOO!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after a segment where Vince McMahon admonishes Michael Cole over his questions about WCW wrestlers' job security and his own job security, then toasting with Trish Stratus]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': How do we all feel? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': How do we all feel about our own job security?
:'''Schiavone''': Where does WCW go from here? What's in the cards? What's going to, what's going to happen, tonight on this telecast?
:'''Hudson''': What is gonna happen? 
:'''Schiavone''': Is this it? I mean this is... Fans, we're reacting and we could only react to what you see as well, we don't know.
:'''Hudson''': Mr McMahon has said there's gonna be a simulcast tonight. What's he gonna say? When's he gonna say it?
:'''Schiavone''': ''[as the WCW World Tag Team Championship match begins]'' The wrestlers, the fans are concerned. The people who worked for WCW are concerned, who have sweat, bled for this company for years, we are all very concerned about the future of WCW, about the future of, well, right there our brand of wrestling.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In a prerecorded video, DDP reflects on his WCW journey]''
:'''Diamond Dallas Page''': In the words of the Grateful Dead, what a long strange trip it's been, but I gotta tell you, I've loved every second of it, wouldn't trade it for nothing. And tonight, on this historic eve, I thought I needed to thank all the wrestling fans from around the world, for letting a kid from the Jersey Shore, Page Joseph Falkenberg, become Diamond Dallas Page. The guy they said would never make it but did. And that proves only one thing, if you want it bad enough and you're willing to work for it, anything's possible. It's not the promoters who decide who's over, it's the fans, so not just to thanks the fans in general, I want to specially thank, the WCW wrestling fans and my wife, Kimberly, for believing in me, and helping me live my dream. Is that dream over? I don't think so, I think now it's time to take it to another level. ''[to camera]'' Thank you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[as the WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Championship match begins, Tony Schiavone goes a bit off-script upon learning of William Regal talking to Vince McMahon over his purchase of WCW]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': I don't want to sit here, and as a person who's been on Monday Nitro for many years, it hits you to hear anything that he once said... Mr McMahon, it's his money, he can do whatever he wants, I don't know what he's gonna do tonight, but let me say this: to sit here and listen to their Commissioner, rip WCW? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': Yes.
:'''Schiavone''': Come on. I mean, we've had to do some crazy things, Steve Regal, including putting your ass over on TV!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[calling the match between Sting and Ric Flair]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[sees Sting Superplex Flair]'' Yes, he got it down. What's Sting gonna do now? ''[Scorpion Deathlock]'' Scorpion Deathlock!! He's got it on!
:'''Scott Hudson''': Center of the ring!
:'''Schiavone''': ''[Flair quits]'' It's over! It's over!! It's Sting! Sting wins! Sting defeats Ric Flair here on the final telecast of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT. And look at that, my god that he's gonna help him up. And the embrace, it's what we're all about. 
:'''Hudson''': Sting knows that Ric Flair made him at that Clash of the Champions. That's ultimate respect.
:'''Schiavone''': It really is.
:'''Hudson''': For two men, I have to say, that have huge fans of, they may be continue to be fans of professional wrestling. Thank you Steve Borden, thank you Ric Flair, for everything you've meant to this sport.
:'''Schiavone''': It's an emotional rollercoaster for all of us fans. The uncertainty of our jobs, our future of what we love, what we breathe, and what we live. We don't just work for WCW, we lived WCW, and I know Flair is thinking that the fans would agree.

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:TNT shows]]
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      <text bytes="72001" xml:space="preserve">[[w:WCW Monday Nitro|WCW Monday Nitro]] was a professional wrestling program that aired on TNT Monday nights from September 4th, 1995 to March 26 2001.

== 1995 ==
=== September 4 ===
:''[Recent ex-WWF talent Lex Luger shows up at the beginning of the Sting/Ric Flair matchup.]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[notices Lex]'' Oooh, what in the hell is he doing here?! Get the camera off of him!
:'''Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael''': What is this?
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Wait a minute. He's got a right to be here, this is a [[w:Mall of America|public mall]].
:'''Eric''': Get him out of here!
:'''Steve''': Somebody call the security guards!
:'''Eric''': ''[as the crowd starts chanting &quot;Luger! Luger!&quot;]'' What?! Get the security and get him out of here!
:'''Bobby''': What's he doing wrong? What is he doing wrong?
:'''Steve''': This is just unabashed arrogance.
:'''Eric''': We have a major problem here.
:'''Bobby''': We have a situation starting here. A big one.
:'''Eric''': I want to know what he's doing here.
:'''Bobby''': Well don't ask me! Get on the headsets to the truck, ask somebody.

=== December 18 ===
:''[Madusa makes her way to the announce booth at the start of the show.]''
:'''Madusa''': All right. Can it everyone! ''[to Mongo]'' You too bad dog! I am Madusa, always have been Madusa and always will be Madusa. This is the WWF Women's Championship belt.
:'''Eric''': Whoa... Whoa! Wait a minute. ''[sees Madusa pick up a trash can and dump the belt in it]'' What? Look...that indeed it is!
:'''Steve''': ''[as Madusa does the act]'' Not in the trash can!
:'''Madusa''': And that's what I think of the WWF Women's Championship belt. This is the WCW, I am now in the WCW and they used to call me Alundra Blayze. But not anymore because this is where the big boys play and now this is where the big girls play! ''[dumps mic in the trash can as well]''
:'''Eric''': Holy smokes! Madusa, the WWF Women's Championship and the belt right here on Nitro. The belt in the trash can and I tell you what, I'm in shock! Wow!
:'''Steve''': Oh she got covered, she just got sucked up on that one in Connecticut, didn't she?
:'''Eric''': I'll tell you what...
:'''Bobby''': What a doll.

== 1996 ==
=== May 27 ===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': Welcome back live to the first hour of this edition of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT! Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko. And we are taking a look at the Mauler completely maul his opponent Steve Doll.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Well you know, Steve Doll's trying to get an offensive going.
:'''Tony''': ''[notices the crowd suddenly standing up for a [[w:Scott Hall|large man]] who just came in through the audience]'' Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?
:'''Larry''': But the Mauler, well he just got reversed right there. The Mauler runs him down.
:'''Tony''': That's not what I'm talking about.
:'''Larry''': What are you talking about?!
:''[The man, Scott Hall, leaps over the railing]''
:'''Tony''': Look here.
:'''Larry''': Well, what the hell?
:'''Scott Hall''': Get me a mic!
:'''Larry''': What's with this?
:'''Tony''': We need security out here. I have no idea, wait a minute! I can't believe what we're seeing.
:'''Hall''': ''[climbing into the ring]'' Hey, you people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here. Where is Billionaire Ted? Where is the Nacho Man? That punk can't even get in the building. Me, I go wherever I want, whenever I want. And where, oh where is Scheme Gene? 'Cause I've got a scoop for you. When that Ken-doll lookalike, when that weatherman wannabe comes out here later tonight, I got a challenge for him, for Billionaire Ted, for the Nacho Man and for anybody else in uh...WCW, huh-huh-huh. Hey, you want to go to war? You want a war? You're gonna get one! ''[leaves]''
:'''Tony''': Fans, what about the match? I don't know what to say. Randy Anderson's coming-- Randy. Randy, what's going on here? What about the match, Randy? What's going on? The match. Fans, we've gotta go to a break.
:'''Larry''': The match left!
:'''Tony''': I have no idea what to say. Stay with us. Geez.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey, lookie here.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You wanted to say some-
:'''Hall''': ''[as Eric talks]'' Ken doll, you got such a big mouth and we, we are sick of it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean? Who's we?
:'''Hall''': You know who. This is where the &quot;big boys play&quot;? What a joke! I tell you what, you go tell Billionaire Ted, you tell him, &quot;Get three of his very very best.&quot; Maybe the Nacho Man! &quot;Oooooooh....No.&quot; Hey, maybe he can get the Stinger! Ooooh, I'm so scared. You go get anybody you want because we...
:'''Eric''': Who do you mean &quot;We&quot;?
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. You wanna go to war? You wanna war? You got one. Only, only let's do it right. In the ring where it matters. Not in no microphones. Not in no newspapers or dirtsheets. Let's do it in the ring where it matters. If uh, if Billionaire Ted and his big boys, if they got any, uh guts...
:'''Eric''': You're stepping over the line.
:'''Hall''': Because we are coming down here and like it or not, 
:'''Eric''': Not.
:'''Hall''': We are taking over. ''[throws his toothpick at Eric.]''
:'''Eric''': ''[calmly]'' You're outta here.
:'''Hall''': If you say so!
:'''Eric''': You're outta here. ''[visibly shaken, looks at Heenan, then recomposes]'' I don't know what to say. We'll see you next week.

===June 3===
:''[Scott Hall appears again at the announce booth]''
:'''Scott Hall''': Just relax ''chico''. Yo, Ken Doll, I had such a good time last week that I came back for more.
:'''Eric''': Look there's no reason...
:'''Scott Hall''': Look, look, look, relax man, relax. You started it. You want to go to war? You got a war. You started it, we gonna finish it.
:'''Eric''': What do you mean &quot;We&quot;? You come up with this We stuff.
:'''Scott Hall''': You know who man. You know who. Did Daddy Warbucks? Did he get his money yet?
:'''Eric''': ''[sees [[w:Steve Borden|Sting]] come out]'' Wait a minute, Stinger. Not here, not now. Don't even dignify it man.
:'''Sting''': You came out here last week and said some real horrible things about WCW. Some real horrible things about the Hulkster, about the Macho Man, about the Stinger. Somewhere along the way, you got lost because do you have any idea where you are? You're in the jungle baby! This is WCW! That's right! Hold on! And every week you come out here and you say you want three of the best.
:'''Scott Hall''': That's right man, three of the best.
:'''Sting''': You want three of the best, I don't see two of you. All I see is you and me. So why don't we just do this one on one right here, right now!
:'''Scott Hall''': Yo, yo, you wanna fight man? You wanna fight? You got one. Only, no one tells me what to do and ''chico'', nobody tells me when to do it. ''[throws his toothpick at Sting. Sting responds by slapping Hall]'' Ok, ok tough guy. I got a little, no, I got big surprise for you next week.

=== June 10===
:''[Scott Hall shows up again]''
:'''Eric''': Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't want any trouble from you. I don't want any trouble with you here, now, but I don't have to point out. You came out here last week. Where is it, the big surprise? I mean I heard a lot of talk but where's the walk? ''[Hall points behind Eric]'' What? Where is he?
:''[Kevin Nash, formerly known as Diesel in the WWF, appears from behind and grabs the mike]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, play [''sic'']. We ain't here to play! Now, he ''[referring to Hall]'' said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I'm here. You still don't have your three people and do you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as [[w:Marge Schott|Marge Schott]] reading excerpts from ''[[Mein Kampf]]''.
:'''Eric''': No trouble tonight, man. Speak your piece and...
:'''Nash''': Yeah, no trouble cause you know, I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where are these three guys? You know you couldn't get a paleontologist to get these fossils cleared? You ain't got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where's [[w:Hulk Hogan|Hogan]]? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of ''[[w:Thunder in Paradise|Blunder in Paradise]]''? Where's the Macho Man huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we're here! You wanna say something?
:'''Eric''': Look, I don't have the authority right here right now. You want a fight? Fight isn't within me. You want to face three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm going to be in Atlanta. I'll be in the offices of WCW. I'll try and get you your fight and do you know what? Live this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys want to show up? You want a fight? You show up and I'll see if I can get you your fight.
:'''Nash''': I don't know about you but they love us in Baltimore.
:'''Scott Hall''': Hey big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash. Maybe these punks want a fight.
:'''Nash''': Yeah, bring what you got! The measuring stick just changed around here buddy. You're looking at it. ''[Tosses Bischoff around before he and Hall leave]''

===July 8===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Sting, a very somber mood tonight. I can't believe it. I can feel it, you can feel it. These people continue to make our lives very very tenuous. They did it again tonight right in the middle of your match with Arn Anderson. But lets go back to last night. What's your sense of what's happened at the ''Bash at the Beach''?
:'''Sting''': I am not at all surprised. What happened last night, I'm not surprised about coming from the two outsiders. But I will say I'm very very surprised at you Hulk Hogan. But I should've known. I should've known that when you were traveling to every town in that big fat limo. I should've known because you didn't want to travel with the Macho Man, the Total Package and the Stinger. Uhn-uhn, you were too busy making big movies and coming in for a little cameo appearance! You were too busy walking on the dark side! I should've known when you referred to the Macho Man, the Total Package and me as &quot;three little dogs&quot; waiting for a chance to wrestle the great Hulk Hogan. I should've known when I looked into your eyes. Do you know something, I made a mistake. But you made a bigger mistake because last night, you wiped out and trashed every single little kid, every single person that was a part of your life, that patterned their life after you! You told them to believe in the man upstairs! You told them to say their prayers and to take their vitamins! You told them to believe in themselves and you know something? It's a good thing you told them to believe in themselves because they sure as heck can't believe in you!
:'''Mean Gene''': By the way--
:'''Sting''': ''[grabs mike]'' And last but not least, to put the cherry on the top, all those little kids, you told them to stick it! No, you stick it Hulk! YOU STICK IT!
:'''Mean Gene''': That is very strong. By the way, as fate would have it, these two men and their partner last night. Lex Luger got knocked out early by the action so the two of you had to go at it against the Outsiders. But Macho Man Randy Savage, you were very close with Hulk Hogan as I was. You were part of the Mega Powers. And if anybody got it stuck up, stuck up, well, stuck to him, you really got it stuck to you.
:'''Randy Savage''': I got a message for Hollywood Hogan. What I want to tell you and what I want to do to you, I can't say here on television especially at Disney. But you take the worst thing you can think about and you multiply it by the number nine million and then you multiply it by infinity and beyond, it would be just like one grain of sand in the Sahara desert brother. Because, it's really really scary. What I'm thinking and going to do to you, yeah!

=== July 15 ===
:'''[[w:Gene Okerlund|Mean Gene]]''': Hulk Hogan, Outsiders, you have led us down the primrose path!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something Gene-o, I wish I would've done this two years ago brother because the New World Order is taking over professional wrestling. Hulk Hogan is bigger than the sport of professional wrestling. And with the Outsiders, the new blood, the foundation of the New World Order, we shall rule the wrestling world Mean Gene!
:'''Mean Gene''': [[What about the children]]? You know about the thousands and thousands of telephone calls that came into WCW. Every man, woman and child on the face of the earth is totally disgusted with you Hulk Hogan, including myself!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': We all know about the training, the prayers and the vitamins brother and like I said, these people out here, after I led their children down the right path had the gall to boo Hulk Hogan one more time. You fans can stick it brother!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, I think Sting and Eric Bischoff brought it up earlier on. I think Sting said it best earlier on when he retorted &quot;Hulk Hogan, ''you'' can stick it!&quot;
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know something brother, as far as people like Sting go, ten years ago when I shook his hand in Venice Beach, he was a skinny little bodybuilder. And when he laid his eyes on Hulk Hogan, he was shaking in his boots. I heard all the crying from the so called Macho Man. For three years, he blamed his divorce, the fact that he couldn't rise to the occasion on Hulk Hogan brother. And over and over and over and over again this past week, I've heard WCW blame Hulk Hogan for their problems. The only problem is I'm the greatest wrestler in the world, I made professional wrestling, I will always be bigger than wrestling and with these two friends of mine, the New World Order shall rule the wrestling world!
:'''Eric''': This conceited jerk!
:'''Mean Gene''': You call these guys friends? You know about this man's background and this man's background, this nWo, Where is it going to go? Who's going to be a part of it? I think that's the question we're all asking ourselves and I'm going to ask you.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well these are the renegades brother! These are the men that when I open the door brother, they had the guts enough to walk through it. These are the guys that are going to set the trend for the nineties. They will lead Hulk Hogan and professional wrestling to its destiny. But these guys are just the foundation. The thing that everybody, the people out there don't realize is as I build my empire, will there be more outsiders that I bring in? Or will it be people that are so close to Ted Turner, maybe Eric Bischoff's friends. Who knows man? Maybe the guys that are in the locker room right now. There's always been a double loyalty man. In this business, they've been loyal to the promoters who have paid their bills and they've also been loyal to Hulk Hogan. Because they know where Hulk Hogan goes, that's where professional wrestling goes.
:'''Mean Gene''': You have to vent all of this on these people, the peers of this business. How about the kids that have looked up to you for years and years and now it comes down to this? And this is a pretty good example of the way your life is going to go Hulk Hogan.
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know dude, I laid it out straight for all those kids, brother. They didn't want to follow the path, so I'm done with them! But as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to mess with that skinny little Macho Man or that crybaby Sting. I'm going right to the top of the ladder, brother! And at ''Hog Wild'', brother, on August the 10th, if the [[w:Paul Wight|Giant]] has got guts enough, I'm going to dismantle the whole Ted Turner organization in one night. We're going to take the WCW belt, make it the New World Order belt and we shall reign supreme from that day forward. And as far as I'm concerned brother, if Ted Turner has any boys in the back that have any guts at all, come on out right now! We'll beat up the whole WCW right now, and what are they gonna do?!!

=== September 16===
:''[Sting comes down to the ring with a microphone]''
:'''Sting''': ''[with his back turned to the main camera]'' I want a chance to explain something that happened last Monday night on ''Nitro''. Last Monday night, I was on an airplane flying from L.A. to Atlanta. When I got to Atlanta, I tuned in the TV to ''Nitro'' and I thought I was watching a rerun. It was a very convincing film. Often imitated but never duplicated though and what else did I see? I saw people, I saw wrestlers, I saw commentators and I saw best friends, doubt the Stinger. That's right, doubt the Stinger. So, I heard Lex Luger say &quot;I know where Sting lives, I know where he works out, I'm gonna go get him!&quot; So I said to myself, &quot;I'll just go into [[seclusion]]. I'll wait and see what happens on ''Saturday Night''.&quot; And I tuned in ''Saturday Night'' and what did I see? I saw more of the same, more doubt. Which brings me to ''Fall Brawl''. I knew I had to get to ''Fall Brawl'' to get face to face with the Total Package to let him know that it wasn't me and what I got out of that was, &quot;No, Sting. I DON'T BELEIVE YOU STING!&quot; Well, all I've got to say is, I have been mediator, I have been babysitter, I've given him the benefit of the doubt about a thousand times in the last twelve months! I have carried the WCW banner and I have given my blood, my sweat and my tears for WCW! So for all of those fans out there and all of those wrestlers and people who've never doubted the Stinger, I'll stand by you if you stand by me. But, for all of the people, all of the commentators, all of the wrestlers and all of the best friends who did doubt me, you can stick it! From now on, I consider myself a free agent. But that doesn't mean you won't see the Stinger. From time to time, I'm going to pop in when you least expect it. 

=== November 18===
:''[The show opens with the Outsiders in the ring with chairs having laid out the Nasty Boys and High Voltage. They go down to ringside where Tony and Larry are standing.]''
:'''Larry''': Not again. Not again with this!
:'''Tony''': What's the problem here?
:'''Kevin Nash''': Does this work? Nice to see you dressed up this week, Larry! ''[to Tony]'' Hey, I don't see you laughing today huh?
:'''Scott Hall''': Funny guy, huh?
:'''Nash''': I was so funny last week right? Funny like a clown right? Were you laughing at me? I ain't so funny tonight am I? You see, we can put this on any time we want. I can be funny, I can be deadly and so can this man! Hey, let me ask you a question.
:'''Hall''': You got the bad neck, right?
:'''Nash''': You got the bad neck, right? Do you want to pick up your kids, huh?
:'''Tony''': ''[to Larry who's not standing up for Tony]'' Do you want to step in here?
:'''Larry''': Hey, you're the one that laughed at them. They let me know what I think.
:'''Nash''': You talk about a triangle match, right? There's two of the combatants laid out right now.
:'''Hall''': You know, what I want to know is I've been hearing my whole career how scary the Faces of Fear are. They say, everybody says that Meng and the Barbarian are the two toughest guys in the business. Well you tell those two islanders, come on out here and we'll slap that coconut breath out of you. Tell them to come on down. You can't have a Pay Per View in WCW without inviting the nWo.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': You can't be upset by what happened. These guys are thugs, they're paid by Dibiase and you're okay. So relax about it, don't be all upset.
:'''Tony''': Yeah well, I don't need to be pushed around. I'm not a wrestler. You're a wrestler. So why didn't you step in front for me? How long have we been friends?
:'''Larry''': You're okay and I'm not Clint Eastwood.
:'''Tony''': Well I can only say this and I'm going to apologize to everybody because I've never done this before at all. But I don't need to be pushed around. I've got five children. I've got a wife. I've got a great job. I'll tell you what, big mouth! Why don't you go ahead? Why don't you go ahead and step in front of me? Why don't you handle the broadcast? Why don't you try play-by-play?
:'''Larry''': Don't get upset!
:'''Tony''': I don't need guys who are seven feet tall coming out here! ''[takes off his headset and walks away]''
:'''Larry''': I don't need guys seven feet tall either coming out here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Eric Bischoff is dismissing Roddy Piper's claim that he leads the NWO, which suddenly comes out and restrains Piper. Hulk Hogan embraces Bischoff, who later shakes Ted DiBiase]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Now that everybody realizes who everybody's working for... I mean, my God, this guy right here is the foundation of the WCW. Now he works for the NWO! 

== 1997 ==
===February 10===
:''[Randy Anderson appears with his family to appeal to Eric Bischoff about hiring him back after the events of Souled Out]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Kids come on up here. It's all right Randy. It's all right, kids, could you do me a favor. Would you please tell your daddy... that he's ''still fired? [NWO laughs]'' Would you do that for me?
:'''Montana Anderson''': Please, Mr Bischoff!
:'''Bischoff''': Montana please, tell your daddy he's fired, get on with his life.
:'''Kevin Nash''': ''[mocks]'' Do it for little Tiny Tim!
:'''Syxx''': God bless us everyone!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko review the Piper/Hogan match footage at Starrcade 1996 that Eric Bischoff confiscated and was somehow played, but when the tape suddenly stops as if it was taken off playback, just as Randy Anderson was about to count off Hogan as submitting to Piper...]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': What's going on here?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well that wasn't nothing...
:'''Schiavone''': We did not get this - ''[talks to production crew on the headset]'' what happened? Can anybody tell me what happened? The tape stopped? The tape broke?
:'''Zbyszko''': Well what happened was -
:'''Schiavone''': Someone's getting the tape in the production truck.
:'''Zbyszko''': Who's in the truck?
:'''Schiavone''': We're trying to find out fans, I apologize. I'm just talking to Craig Leathers, Keith Mitchell, in our video production truck. Someone apparently went and you hear the tape queueing up. You saw right there, I mean the hand was going up and it was gonna be the end of Hollywood Hulk Hogan with the sleeper. We all witnessed what happened, Eric Bischoff went into the video truck and grabbed the tape.
:'''Zbyszko''': Well, anyway, the world saw what happened, we knew about it, now the missing footage had been recovered and what happened-
:''[Eric Bischoff confronts the announcers with the tape]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Don't you ever, don't you EVER, EVER, pull a stunt like that again. You or anybody else in this organization ''[puts down mic and starts tearing out the tape]'' ever, ever again. ''[leaves]'' 
:'''Schiavone''': We'll take a break.
:'''Zbyszko''': He could beat up a tape, that's impressive!

===February 17===
:''[Eric Bischoff is fuming mad at Jimmy Jett passing Randy Anderson brass knuckles during his match with Nick Patrick]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': What do you think you're doing?!? You knocked him out! What is this? What is that? You know better than that! You know better than that! You used to be a referee!
:'''Jimmy Jett''': Hey he won the match-
:'''Bischoff''': You used to be a referee!! You are nothing! ''[to Anderson]'' And YOU. I saw it! Let me, let me tell you what you won. Now, you just won a permanent vacation and you are fired! Fired! Spell it, F-I-R-E-D! Leave the building now! Now! You're fired! 
:'''Jett''': It's not fair
:'''Bischoff''': It's not fair! Take those with you!

===September 1===  
:''[the NWO comes out spoofing the Four Horsemen, with Kevin Nash as Arn Anderson]''
:'''Kevin Nash''': I take care of Horsemen business. Before I go any further: Let me all of the Horsemen out here know one thing: Guys, the beer is on ice. You know something, it's pretty ironic that on Labour Day WCW would decide to honor me cause anybody who followed my career knows one thing: You were always wondering when I was gonna go into labour.

:You know I sat back that day and I watched that highlight tape of my career and I said to myself: You know: I'm a guy of average size, average speed, average quickness, average looks, average intelligence, average carpentry skills - but you know what? I parlayed that into a wrestling career that I might say so myself was quite excellent. But you know something? Four months ago, I had a neck injury. Subsequently I lost the feeling in my hand, my left hand. The significance of that: That's the hand I open beer with. But you know something? I willed myself back from that injury. I got to the gym - I didn't do anything there, I walked around - but I got to the gym. And you know what? I started a comeback.

:But about a week ago, I went to the neighborhood bar, I bellied up against the bar like only I can and a fat broad - that's right, a fat broad - came up and smacked me in the back. That sent a chill down me... same fat broads that've been following the Horsemen for 20 years. But as I looked at that longneck laying on that cheap industrial grey carpentry, I said to myself: How ironic. That wasn't so much that I was out three dollars and 75 cents, what it was to me was sand tickin' down through the hourglass - and everybody knows, so are the days of our lives. ''[Syxx imitates Ric Flair crying]'' You know one thing you can say, when Arn Anderson was comin' to town - beside the fact that I left a lot of unpaid bar tabs - was Arn Anderson was comin' to town. And you knew if I was on the card, how I was gonna give you 100 per cent - no matter how drunk, how hung over I was. I was gonna give you all ahead. And back in those days before the nWo, you eight people that bought those tickets, got one heck of a show. But you know what? As I come out here tonight, I ask you people: Don't remember how I used to be. Remember me how I look right now. ''[to Konnan as Steve McMichael]'' Good, Mongo!

:''[to Buff Bagwell as Curt Hennig]'' So Curt, that puts me and you and I got a challenge for you. Wait a second, I don't wanna fight you, cause I ain't want one for twenty years. What I got for you is a challenge, because as much as I wanna be a Horseman, I know if I come out here right now, I'd not only put him in danger, I would put my best friends in danger and I can't do that. So what I'm doing tonight is I got a challenge you and I ain't got much to offer you, cause the beer is already spoken for. But what I do got is I got a spot. A spot with the Four Horsemen. Not just a spot, not a liver spot, not a 'Spot' like your dog Spot. No, not just any spot – but myyyyy spot. So I need to know right now: Do you accept it? My spot - not their spot, liver spot, not dog Spot, not anybody's spot, MY spot to become a Four Horsemen. Not my spot, anybody's spot, dog Spot, liver spot, MY spot.

===September 15===
:''[The show opens with footage of Ric Flair after being stitched up in a hospital as a result of last night's Fall Brawl when Curt Hennig slammed the cage door in his head'']
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[very shaken up]'' Fans, uh... ''Nitro'', as you can see, is on the air. Before I go into this card, I need to say something that I've really never said before. You know, 13 years ago, I got into this business because of Ric Flair. I was a minor league baseball announcer in this same city. He went to bat for me for the promoters and I became a wrestling announcer and when I look back on what has happened to me, I credit Ric Flair. And you have seen Ric Flair and what hap.......I can't do this show. I'm sorry. ''[takes off his headset and leaves]''

===September 22===
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': That's very impressive, a gentleman the stature of Hugh Morrus, and you absolutely got in there and manhandled him tonight. ''[Bill Goldberg just walks away]'' Sir, I've got to get a little bit more than that. Gentleman's just walking away from me.
:'''Larry Zbyszko''': Is he a mute?
:'''Mean Gene''': I can't believe that. Tony, I haven't seen anything like that. Very impressive. But who is this guy Goldberg?

===November 10===
:''[The NWO appears in the ring with Canadian flags and having brought back Kevin Nash...]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ...And now the announcement I know I have been waiting to make, 'cause I have been working on this for a long time, the newest addition of the NWO, and Bret Hart, because you were such a... ''[punches the air] knockout'' kind of a guy! ''[everybody laughs, knowing its a reference to Bret punching Vince McMahon after the Montreal Screwjob]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': He passed the initiation!
:'''Bischoff''': We have a special, special ''[pulls out paper from his jacket]'' gift for you. Liz, can you come around here? ''[passes out paper to NWO members]'' All right let's do it. On three, one, two - this is for you, Bret - three ''[the NWO sings O Canada]''

===November 17===
:'''Rick Rude''': Oh what a difference a day makes. Twenty-four little hours. You know and we all have our 15 minutes of fame and I'd like to take a couple of my 15 minutes to talk about the rights and the wrongs in the world of professional wrestling. What's wrong in the world of professional wrestling is Shawn Michaels claiming to be World Champion when he never beat Bret Hart. What's wrong with the world of professional wrestling is for Vince McMahon to instruct the [[w:Montreal Screwjob|referee to ring the bell]] in order to rob Bret Hart of his title. But on the other hand, what's right in the world of professional wrestling is for Bret Hart to abandon the Titanic and swim to the refuge of the nWo. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is nWo's course to destruct WCW. What's right with the world of professional wrestling is for the nWo to beat the living shit out of the man called Sting. Now the only thing wrong with that entire situation is that I didn't have the chance to participate. Sting second verse is gonna be same as the first. A little bit rowdier and a whole lot worse, because this time Sting, I will partake.

===December 22===
:''[Hulk is in the middle of another promo when a WCW event staffer delivers him a silver gift box]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': The NWO is just too sweet. Oh, oh my God! ''[sees Bret Hart arrive in a limousine with women and a male waiter accompanying him]'' You're right. It's only one guy. The newest member of the NWO, Bret Hitman Hart. I knew it had to be him, boss. Thank you Bret. ''[opens box and suddenly pulls up a fake severed head of himself; screams in horror]'' Oh my God! ''[points to Bret thinking he delivered the head]''
:'''Mike Tenay''': Looks like a message has been delivered to Hollywood Hulk Hogan and the NWO, Mr Rude.
:'''Rick Rude''': What is this?
:'''Bobby Heenan''': What is going on now? 
:'''Rude''': Is Bret Hart trying to say he wants a piece of the NWO? 
:'''Tenay''': ''[sees spotlight focused on Sting]'' Look at that, it's Sting! He's arrived on the scene.
:'''Heenan''': He's on top of the NWO sign, at the top of the building here in Macon.
:'''Rude''': ''[as Sting ziplines to the ring]'' Take him out Hollywood, take him out! 
:'''Tenay''': ''[Hogan scampers out of the ring]'' Sting is on his way to the ring. We'll see you Sunday at Starrcade!

== 1998 ==
===May 11===
:''[Eric Bischoff shoots on DX's recent assaults]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': As I look through the crowd tonight, I wonder what you must be thinking and I wonder what Vince McMahon is thinking. You know because for the last couple of weeks he's been sending his little wannabes around demanding to talk to ''moi''. The only problem with that is, he only sends them where he knows I'm not going to be. That's okay because I've got a little solution. Sean Waltman, you want an apology from me? You actually show up at our offices on a Monday afternoon when I think even you Sean are smart enough to figure out I probably wouldn't be there. As far as the apology goes - bite me! I apologize to no one.

:But I've got a better idea because, Sean, I know you're just a little puppet and you do what Vince McMahon tells you to do, so Vince McMahon, this is for you. I'm coming to your backyard this Sunday. That's right, in Worcester, Massachussetts we've got a little PPV thing going on and I've got a hell of an idea. You want me? I'm gonna be in your back yard. Consider this an open invitation, Vince McMahon. You show up at Slamboree, it will be me and you McMahon, in the ring. How about it, Vinnie? But I want to warn you people right now, if you think Vince McMahon has got the guts to show up, don't buy this PPV because I guarantee you he is not man enough to step into this ring with me. But I'll be there Vinnie Mac, I'll be waiting for you. And I'm going to knock you out. See you there.

===July 6===
:''[The NWO meet somebody who's just arrived and Hogan earlier hinted as somebody Goldberg must defeat first to face him in the main event - Scott Hall]''
:'''Hulk Hogan''': ''[as they walk to the arena]'' You're toast.
:'''Scott Hall''': Can't have a party without me, baby.
:'''Hogan''': That's right brother.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[to Hall]'' God, we missed you!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Bischoff''': Oh and you know how!
:'''Hall''': I gotta heat things up.
:'''Hogan''': I like it.
:'''Curt Hennig''': How you feeling?
:'''Hall''': Too sweet.
:'''Hogan''': Got the party goods, we got the goods for the party, let's go!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony Schiavone''': The fans stand, showing their signs, and we are walking with Goldberg, and security from Goldberg's own locker room area following with him all the way to the ring, as you look live back in the locker room area. Surrounding Goldberg, some of Atlanta's finest, Doug Dillinger as well with WCW security, and here they come.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': What's going through his mind right now? I've never been in that situation, going for a world championship, let alone with that list of victories this man has, in his backyard, hometown in front of everybody he played for, played with. What an evening, what drama right now.
:'''Tony''': Long walk for Goldberg, but it's been a long wait since he arrived in the Georgia Dome earlier in the day. So what's another long walk for Goldberg? They're almost down here now.
:''[Goldberg now walks alone]''
:'''Bobby''': Well, Hogan may be taking a long walk too. A ''real'' long walk back to the dressing room empty-handed.
:'''Tony''': But could the unblemished mark, the incredible series of wins by Goldberg come to a crashing end here tonight?
:'''Bobby''': And you know, Tony, if Hogan is to defeat this man, you know what the nWo's gonna be like then with Hogan and Eric Bischoff in charge.
:'''Tony''': ''[as Goldberg reaches the entrance]'' And there he is.
:'''Mike Tenay''': And here comes the eruption.
:'''Bobby''': Bigger than before.
:'''Tony''': This is his moment.
:''[Goldberg stands on the ramp as the pyrotechnics envelope him for twenty seconds. When they subside, he walks to the ring surrounded by the security from before]''
:'''Bobby''': It's a long way down.
:'''Tony''': There you look at Goldberg, and think about what Goldberg represents. A virtual unknown in this sport who walked into WCW, and he represents every wrestler who wanted just to walk in here and become the World Champ. That's what he represents as he makes his way to the ring.
:'''Bobby''': He looks ready! Do it for me! Do it for the fans! Get rid of Hogan! And what's Hogan's mentality gonna be at ''Bash at the Beach'' if he's not heavyweight champion of the world along with Rodman?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Look at Goldberg! He's ready!
:'''Tony''': He's poised... ''[Goldberg spears Hulk Hogan]'' Hogan goes down!
:'''Bobby''': Okay, there's part one! Now finish him off! Finish him off!
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg signals for the Jackhammer]'' He's calling for it!
:'''Bobby''': This is it! This is it! ''[Goldberg sets Hogan up for the Jackhammer]'' Your career's on the line here! Do it! Do it! This place'll erupt when he picks him up.
:'''Tony''': ''[Goldberg lifts Hogan in a suplex]'' He's got him up! ''[...and slams Hogan to the mat]'' Oh Hell Yeah!
:'''Tony and Bobby''': ''[counting with the referee]'' One...
:'''Tony''': ''[continues]'' ...two...THREE!!!
:'''Bobby''': OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! We got a new heavyweight champion of the world! The first undefeated man in the history of this sport to ever win the World Championship, and have a record of 107, 108...who cares?! There's zero on the other side! We've got a new champion! Listen to this! ''[pauses to acknowledge the cheering crowd and &quot;Goldberg&quot; chants]'' Wow.
:'''Mike''': Thirty-one-year-old Bill Goldberg, less than ten months in the sport, is on top of the wrestling world.
:'''Tony''': ''[off a shirt]'' &quot;Who's next?&quot;
:'''Bobby''': Who cares?
:'''Tony''': &quot;Who cares&quot; is right. The hero has come through, lades and gentlemen, you have witnessed professional wrestling history on many levels. A man who is undeniably the toughest we have seen in decades, a man who undeniably will lead pro wrestling into the next millennium, stands in the Georgia Dome in front of more than 39,000 fans.
:'''Bobby''': Tony, there's a new sheriff in town.
:'''Tony''': When we go to ''Bash at the Beach'', Goldberg will be the world champ. Its only six days away.
:'''Bobby''': We still got ''Thunder'', Wednesday.
:'''Tony''': With the new world champion. Well, there's nothing more that this announce crew can add to what you've been a witness here tonight. It's been a night for the ages, it's been a night that we will never forget because on Monday, July 6th, 1998, Goldberg captured the gold. Goldberg, went to 108 and 0, and in less than one year, Goldberg, the phenomenon that is Bill Goldberg, at age 31, is the heavyweight champion of the world, and they're not going anywhere...
:'''Bobby''': No.
:'''Tony''': They're still standing, chanting his name, paying homage to their hero. 
:'''Mike''': Let the celebration begin!
:'''Tony''': For Iron Mike Tenay and Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan...
:'''Bobby''': Thank you!!
:'''Tony''': ...and Larry Zsbysko, and Mean Gene, and everybody in pro wrestling... Goodnight, America!!
:'''Mike''': Goldberg's the champ! Let's go!

===August 17===
:''[Hollywood Hogan is in the middle of a promo calling out DDP for &quot;somebody from his past.&quot; Jim Hellwig, aka Warrior comes in and enters the ring]''
:'''Warrior''': Talk to me, Warriors!!! ''[at top rope]'' Feel the real power, Hogan!!
:'''Hollywood Hogan''': ''[shaken by his appearance]'' I thought you were dead!
:'''Warrior''': Who holds the absolute power now, Hollywood Hogan? Unleash that raising voice, Warriors! [Warrior Chants] Seems as if no formal introduction is gonna be necessary! Actually, it even seems as if there are those who anticipated my arrival! ''[disgusted at Hogan offering his NWO shirt as if inviting him to join]'' What is that smell? You might want to use it to clean up the mess you just made all over yourself! You need to open your eyes and ears, take control of the limited ability you have to understand the words I am about to say. For years, I have watched while this industry, with you as it's figurehead, has tried to create what is simply un-re-cre-at-able. I have heard, listened to all the innuendos and speculation that something ULTIMATE or WARRIOR may soon reappear. Welcome to the reappearance!&lt;/br&gt; Those things, Hogan, which are irreplaceable, whether they be people, places, or things, are never forgotten. You are witnessing that - RIGHT NOW! History tells us, Hogan... ''[“Hogan sucks”-Chants]'' Let's talk about something he doesn't know! History tells us, Hogan, that a man's legacy is build from the premise that within his life the moments lived, once lived, become a piece of his history. Somehow, you have conveniently, even eloquently, misplaced pieces of your history.&lt;/br&gt; In the [[WrestleMania#WrestleMania_VI_(1990)|one time, epochal battle between us]], Hogan, you were the quintessential influence of what was good, great, and heroic. But different than you may remember, and albeit you may have beaten myths, legends, giants, and other great men, you never - never - beat a warrior. AND, certainly, not THE ULTIMATE ONE! As a victor of that one-time battle, I defeated what was, until then, undefeatable. I conquered what was then unconquerable. I dominated what was, until then, indomitable. On that day, you were great. I was ULTIMATE!&lt;/br&gt; Let me introduce myself, to those two fools that stand behind you. Let's see, this - dude ''[points to the Disciple]'' - must be your barber. And ''[to Eric Bischoff]'' who are you, little man? Who are you?
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You know who I am. My name is Eric Bischoff, I run this company and who invited you?
:'''Warrior''': ''[laughs]'' Different than you want to make people believe, I never received an invitation, I showed up on my own accord, and let me tell you, Mr. Eric Bischoff, if you stick your nose in my business, you only, very quickly, prepare for your own demise. Furthermore, when I get done with my business here, I'm going to be sending you a bill. I suggest you pay it. I have waited patiently. The WARRIORS have waited all too patiently.&lt;/br&gt; Now - NOW - the virtue of justice unties my hands so that I can continue to fulfill a destiny set in motion upon that memorable day years ago - a destiny at the next level - a destiny beckoning the next Super Hero. There really is no sadder sight than when a grown man fears the challenges in his life so much that he rationalises adolescent behaviour to the point where he carries out heinous and self-indulgent actions - YOUR evilness, the evilness you embody and portray, is intolerable.&lt;/br&gt; I am the one that has the power to destroy you. It's source, Hogan, the truth, is inexhaustible. I come here, not to beat you up tonight, Hogan - beating you means nothing anymore. Everybody already has. No no no no no no no, that's too easy. Because you felt guilty for being who you were. Your mind became weak and Hulkamania became boring. I come here, Hogan, to tell you next week I intend to launch a revolution not even YOU can control. I ask you to find the courage - check it out - next week, same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel.&lt;/br&gt;

===September 14===

:'''Arn Anderson''': Can you smell it, JJ? Take a breath. Can you smell it? When 15,000 people blow the roof off a place, that's what a pop smells like. Take a bow. What you said to me is what all those people have been saying to me for a year and a half, and only a true friend would say that. They said &quot;Arn Anderson, stand up and be a man, like you've always been!&quot; And I couldn't hear those words, 'cause something was in the way and I'm gonna start at the beginning, because you have to start at the beginning because tonight IS a new beginning for the Four Horsemen.
:Now when I was a kid, like all kids, people asked you &quot;what do you wanna be when you grow up?&quot; There was no grey area for me, I always knew I wanted to be a wrestler. And when that finally happened for me, it was the proudest day of my life. And in 1986, I started coming to these towns, just like Greenville, South Carolina, as a Horseman. And my life changed forever, and the doors it opened for me, I had never dreamed of. And wrestling the greatest wrestlers in the world in a town like this and all across this country showed me who I was. And every day that I woke up since then I tried to uphold the standards that we, you and I and the rest of us set for ourselves.
:And about a year and a half ago, I laid down on an operating table and when I woke up, Arn Anderson the wrestler was dead, and I thought to myself how could I be a Horseman if I couldn't be a wrestler. Well, the fact is I couldn't in my mind...
:'''Crowd''': We Want Flair!
:'''Arn''': Trust me, everybody's gonna get what they want tonight, Bischoff. Eric Bischoff.
:So when I thought I could no longer be a Horsemen, Chris Benoit came to me first and he said &quot;this can all happen.&quot; And with that prelude, I would like to bring the other three Horsemen out right now. Steve &quot;Mongo&quot; McMichael, come on down. ''[Steve McMichael enters the ring, as do the other Horsemen when called]'' Chris Benoit, come on down. Dean Malenko, come on down.
:Now, before we go any further. Chris Benoit, you got this thing rolling, and I'm gonna go on record as saying, if there's a finer wrestler in all the land than you, I don't know who it is. Your intensity, the first time I saw you wrestle, made you something special. You are something special in my eyes, you knew what it meant to be a Horsemen. You will carry that tradition way past the year 2000.
:Mongo McMichael, you're hard-headed, lotta times you're hard to be around, but the fact is in my eyes, you're all man. You're certainly All-Pro, and when this is all said and done, if I've got anything to say about it, you will mean to this sport what you've meant to the sport of pro football.
:Now Dean Malenko. I've been out here ya/king for the last ten years about what it meant to be a Horseman: work ethic, respect for the business, respect for each other, respect for the people that came before us. And while I was yakking the last year, and the last couple of months, you were out there fighting the fights for the Horsemen. You exemplify what a Horseman has always meant: overachievement. Being the very best you could be, each and every day of your life, whether you were sick, or hurt, or whatever the case may be, and it makes me proud, now I'm gonna say one more time. I've said that you didn't get it; well, ''I'' didn't get it, because if there was ever a Horseman it makes me a little misty-eyed and real proud to call on this day the finest thing you can be in this sport of professional wrestling, that's a Horseman.
:Ladies and gentlemen, through the year 2000, we're gonna do exactly what all of you across this nation have asked: &quot;Arn Anderson, bring back the Horsemen!&quot; But I feel it fair to tell ya, I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens next. 'Cause we don't wear white hats, we're not nice guys, and I can tell you this: heads are gonna roll! So, I've said it: Be careful what you wish for, because now you have it!
:Ah, what a goof! What a goof! You know, I get accused of gettin' racked in the head a few times and having a little touch of Alzheimer's. My God! I almost forgot the fourth Horseman! Ric Flair, get on down here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ric Flair''': Thank you, thank you very much. I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty - five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now, somebody told me that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be true that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff said was dead, is alive and well? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, &quot;Disband the Horsemen. They're dead. Disband the Four Horsemen.&quot; You know what? I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! ''[Bischoff appears at the entrance way]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': You're history! This is my TV!!
:'''Flair''': Bischoff, whatever you think... You're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power! 
:'''Bischoff''': You'll never ever wrestle on my television again!
:'''Flair''': You suck! You... I hate your guts. I hate your guts. 
:'''Bischoff''': ''[as he walks away]'' This is my house! You're history!
:'''Flair''': You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, you are a no-good son of a bitch. 
:'''Bischoff''': You're history!
:'''Flair''': Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!

===December 14===
:''[Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen just fought off the NWO, and he's still livid over Eric Bischoff kissing his wife the week before]''
:'''Ric Flair''': BISCHOFF!!! For 25 years, for whatever I have been, good and bad, I've been a man, you son of a bitch! And good or bad, I can walk in the door of my house and know that those kids, and that wife forgave me for everything I ever did wrong because they depended on me to live day in and day out! You, you start out, you come in here, you promise me the world and then you take my career, you try to shitcan that, that didn't work, because ''[to the fans]'' they, right here, 40,000 strong, wouldn't let you do it!
:'''Bobby Heenan''': It's the most intense I've ever seen him.
:'''Flair''': Then, you put your lawyers on me and you know what, you damn near broke me, but I would like to the wire, I fought you every step of the way. I gave in, I came back, not 'coz of you, but because my little boy, ten years old, walked up to me and said, &quot;Dad, why don't you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the world?&quot; He didn't understand politics, he didn't understand lawyers, but he understands that every day of his life, his dad said two things to him: Never quit. Promise me for as long as I am alive, you will never quit - and last Thursday night, you stepped over the line AND I ALMOST QUIT! I almost couldn't live it, you put your hands on my children, you kissed my wife, you no-good rotten bastard! What do you think my kids felt when they went to school, embarrassed? No. Shocked? No. You stepped over the line. You took something...
:''[Eric Bischoff appears at the entranceway]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[mock sadness]'' Oh, Ric, I feel so bad.. ''[sees Flair running up to him; to security]'' STOP HIM STOP HIM!!! ''[security restrains Flair]'' Come on, come on! Come and get me, come and get me be careful with him, he's got a bad heart! He's got a bad heart! ''[as the officers cuff him]'' Arrest him! Arrest him, so I can fire him!!

== 1999 ==
=== January 4===
:'''Tony Schiavone''': If you're even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans, do not. Because we understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title. ''[sarcastically]'' That's gonna put some butts in the seats.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, I want to reiterate something I talked about before the commercial break. If you're thinking about changing channels to our competition, we want to let you know that unlike us, they've got their show in the can, their show's been taped. Later tonight, Mick Foley, who once wrestled here as Cactus Jack, is gonna win their World Title. I mean, that's gonna be their World Champion. Ha ha!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': Fans, as you know, it's getting close to the 11:00 hour. We're gonna stay right here, we're gonna follow all the action as long as it takes, so stay with us. These are not taped matches. This is happening live, this is ''Nitro''. ''[Bell rings]'' The bell sounds, Billy Silverman making the call. No matter what happens, we're staying with you here tonight.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Even if it goes on ''all'' night, we're gonna be here.
:'''Tony''': That's what we're all about.
:'''Bobby''': We're live!
:...
:'''Tony''': Listen to the fans! Look at Hogan's reaction!
:'''Bobby''': Over 40,000+! This is better than a playoff game!
:'''Tony''': Hell, this is what pro wrestling, what World Championship Wrestling is all about!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[on Hogan]'' He's been in so many big matches.
:'''Bobby''': Boy, he has.
:''[Hogan fakes a punch, [[w:Fingerpoke of Doom|then lightly pokes Kevin Nash, who drops to the mat.]] Hogan covers him.]''
:'''Tony''': ''[as Silverman counts]'' What was that about? What's going on here? ''[Silverman counts to three. Hogan, Nash, Hall, and Scott Steiner celebrate in the ring]'' What just happened here?
:'''Bobby''': This stinks.
:'''Michael Buffer''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new Heavyweight Champion of the world, from nWo Hollywood, Hulk Hogan!
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[having been silent all night]'' It is unbelievable! The new World Heavyweight Champion, Hollywood Hulk Hogan!

===October 11===

:'''Tony Schiavone''': Before we start with tonight's action, Brain, there's something we both, but particularly you, have to say about our longtime friend Gorilla Monsoon.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Gorilla will be sadly missed. He was one big, tough man, he was a decent honest man, and we're all going to miss him very much. And you know the pearly gates in heaven?
:'''Tony''': Yeah.
:'''Bobby''': It's now gonna be called the Gorilla position. Goodbye, my friend.

==2000==
===February 7===
:''[Scott Steiner, his women, and the NWO are in the ring]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': Now last week, I was watching TV and I watched a 53-year-old man come down here who wears more loose skin than a Shar-Pei puppy come out here saying he's still &quot;The Man.&quot; I see Ric Flair No.2, the Nature Boy come out here, who's been the butt-end of all the jokes, 'cause he's supposed to be the limousine-riding, jet-flying son of a gun, but I'm saying one time, you shoulda take a cab, and used to that money to fix that scrooked yellow teeth! So I asked myself, &quot;if WCW was going to hire the Nature Boy No.2, why wouldn't they hire the Nature Boy, the ''original'' Nature Boy, Buddy Rogers?&quot; Now I know that Buddy Rogers is dead - God rest his soul - but Ric Flair, your career is dead! And I know as he lays six feet under, he's still styling and profiling, 'cause when you used your little brain and stole his name, there's one thing you couldn't steal, and that was his class. So when you walked down that aisle last week, I know I wasn't alone, 'cause the people at home, all they did was grab their remote, change the channel to WWF and watch Stone Cold, a person you and your old friends got fired from here 'cause you're a jealous, old bastard. So Ric Flair, remember this, in this wrestling business, there's never been a bigger ass-kissing, butt-sucking bastard in this business, but also in life, you're the biggest ass-kiss, back-stabbing, butt-sucking bastard and you belong where you're at, in WCW, because WCW sucks... and so do you! Me? I'm just gonna stand here in the NWO for life!

===April 10===
:''[Jeff Jarrett reveals Vince Russo as the Powers That Be]''
:'''Vince Russo''': You know, after giving six years of my life to the World Wrestling Federation I came to WCW with one thing in mind - and that was to beat Vince McMahon at his own game! And you know what? Within a matter of weeks, the new blood in WCW was not only getting back in the game, they were changing the game! And that's when the good ol' boy network kicked in - afraid of change, and more importantly afraid of their jobs - the political BS took place in the back to bring Vince Russo down. And you stayin' at home know who you are 'cause you're watching me now. And then one day I'm told that there's gonna be a change in direction - a change that I knew SUCKED! And you know what? I wasn't the only one who knew - Benoit knew - Guerrero knew - Saturn knew - Malenko knew - Douglas knew - and they left! They're gone! Scott Steiner - he knew it, and they suspended his ass! Well you know what? That's all over now. It's done. And Vince Russo is back in charge again. And I wanna turn around now and I wanna say something to everybody in this ring. It is OVER. The old boys management is over. The inflated egos in the back, afraid to lose their spot - it is over. It is the dawning of a new day - it is your opportunity - seize that opportunity!
:''[Eric Bischoff appears]''
:'''Eric Bischoff''': Are you done yet? Let me tell you something. This man - Vince Russo and I - have more in common than anybody knows. But the big thing is the fact that we were both screwed by the same... good ol' boys network. Vince is right - those days are over. But it's okay! I don't even mind. And you know why I don't mind? Because it's giving me a hell of an opportunity to think about all the great things I did in WCW, but it's also given me an opportunity to realize the mistakes I've made... mistakes like Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond Dallas Page, and oh yeah, oh yeah... let's not forget Sid &quot;Wished he was&quot; Vicious. But you know what the biggest mistake I've ever made? I mean this is the real big one. Hulk Hogan. I'm sorry - I really am sorry.
:Everybody told me he would screw me - he would use me - they said, do not look into that red and yellow light because you will be blinded. Well, I was blinded, but tonight I've got 20/20 vision - I'm seeing real clearly for the first time in a long time, and right now I want to apologize to everybody in this ring - The New Blood - and I want you guys to know that if there's anything I can do for Vince Russo that will help you, I am there for him - I am there for you, because it is a whole new WCW. And where are they? Where are they, where is Diamond Dallas Page? Where is Sting? Where are they?
:'''Russo''': I think they're hiding in the back with the old tail between their legs.
===July 15===
:''[Tony Schiavone and Mark Madden talk about the Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson sex tape on Nitro and the subsequent segment between Torrie and Shane Douglas on Thunder.]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ... that fueled the fire for this &quot;Viagra on a Pole&quot; Match.
:'''Mark Madden''': I'll tell you... I'll tell you what, you can't come out of here limping in a match like this. You gotta get it up right away and keep it up.
===August 14===
:'''Vince Russo''': ''[Standing in the ring with Tank Abbott at the start of the show]'' You know, it seems like deja vu all over again. I stood in this very ring [[w:Bash at the Beach|one month ago]], and I made history. I made an example out of somebody... and you all know who [[w:Hulk Hogan|that]] is, because that piece of shit hasn't been around since! Well tonight, I'm gonna make an example on live TV out of another piece of shit, Goldberg! You don't screw with me and the fact is I came out here tonight to fire Bill Goldberg's ass on national TV! Yeah, cheer for him you asshole Canadians! Well you know what? Brad Siegel wouldn't let me fire Goldberg because the fans love Goldberg! Well I say screw the fans and I say screw Bill Goldberg! And Goldberg, since I could not fire your ass, well I'm going to have your ass kicked right here tonight and he's right here Bill. Remember what happened at the Phillips arena Bill? Well we all know that was bullshit! So I say Bill, you bring it out here and lets call it in the ring. Do it Tank! You know, let me explain something to you assholes! You see, Bill Goldberg, Bill Goldberg believes in his own little mind that if this world were real, then he could take everybody! He could kick everybody's ass! He could kick your ass Tank! You know Bill, you think you're Superman, you think you're invincible, you think I can't beat you huh? Well I'll tell you what, I've got the kryptonite to stick up your ass tonight pal! What do I got to do? Do I got to beg you to come out here chickenshit?! What's the matter Bill? You don't want to come out here? You don't know the script? You don't know the storyline? Tank will call your ass!
===September 11===
:''[Big Poppa Pump is interviewed by Mean Gene]''
:'''Scott Steiner''': That's right Mean Gene, I don't lay down for nobody and whether I leave here the world champion tonight, it don't matter because it's not going to change my focus on getting even with Goldberg for fracturing my face at Fall Brawl. Goldberg! I'm getting even for you fracturing my face and I'm gonna prove to you that I'm the man with the largest arms in the world! I'm the genetic freak and size does matter! And that statement, Mean Gene, comes true whether I'm in the ring or out of the ring. See where all my freaks are horizontal, they understand size, they appreciate size and size does matter and they know that they don't have to wait for the Earth to rotate on a 47-degree axis so the stars can touch the sky and create an equinox so they see the Big Dipper. No no no, all they gotta do is call the Big Poppa, cause I'm the man with the big dipper and satisfaction's coming when I go behind and do the bump n' grind and it's only a matter of time before they call me the big bad booty daddy! So Goldberg, realize this. I only care about two things in this world: my freaks and my peaks and I'll beat your ass down at Fall Brawl and I'm about to put you in the Steiner Recliner and I'm gonna whisper in your ear, 'Size does matter, bitch!'

==2001==
===March 19===
:''[Booker T calls out Big Poppa Pump and Ric Flair]''
:'''Booker T''': Yo Steiner, Flair. I told you I was gonna talk to the man and that man is Eric Bischoff, so shut up and listen.
:'''Eric Bischoff''': ''[by phone patch]'' Thank you Booker. For those of you in the arena and all of you watching around the country this evening, I would very much would have chosen to be there tonight in person as I could be but given everything that's going on tonight, that's just not possible. Many of you may know that for the past six months I've been working with a group of people whose goal was - and is - to acquire World Championship Wrestling and to grow it once again to becoming a competitive, dominant wrestling organization worldwide. 
:But recently, we've hit a couple of roadblocks that may be in fact brick walls, and while it is still in my power, I want to do something befitting what could be very well the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks. Given the fact that that wrestling has been such an important part of Turner's history for the past 29 years, I've been thinking over the weekend on what I could do to provide an exciting program that this historic event should be. To that end, I want to make an announcement now that next Monday night in Panama City is indeed going to be a &quot;Night of Champions.&quot; By that, I mean every championship will be up for grabs, starting with the World Cruiserweight Championship, the Cruiserweight Tag Team Championships, the World Tag Team championship, the US title, and the World Heavyweight will also be up for grabs next Monday night at Panama City. And Scott Steiner, Booker T, I want you to, to be aware now that your match is going to be a &quot;Title Vs Title&quot; match. The contracts are prepared, a WCW representative is standing by to make sure that the contracts are executed. Read them carefully, sign them, be prepared to defend your titles next Monday night. And also given the historic nature of this occasion and my relationship with this company for nearly ten years, I wanna personally extend an open invitation to any former - and I mean ''any former'' - World Heavyweight champion in WCW to join us in Panama City, and don't be afraid to bring your boots with you. 
:Lastly, Ric Flair, you and I have had a very rocky relationship over the past ten years and while I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and what you've done in wrestling history and what you've done for WCW for so long now, I want to make sure that in your case, a promise made is a promise kept - and Ric Flair, it is in your best interest this evening - to kiss Dusty Rhodes' ass. ''[Flair is flustered]'' That being said, I'll see you all in Panama City next Monday night, The Night of Champions, thank you.

===March 26===
:''[After the WCW opening logo, Vince McMahon appears]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Imagine that. Me, Vince McMahon. Imagine that, here I am, on WCW television. How can that happen? Well, there's only one way. You see that it was just a matter of time before I, Vince McMahon, bought my competition. That's right, I own WCW, so therefore in its final broadcast tonight on TNT, I have the opportunity to address ''[hands gesturing to camera]'' you the WCW fans. I have an opportunity to address, you the WCW superstars. What is the fate of WCW? Well tonight, in this special simulcast, you will all find out, because the fate - ''[cups hands]'' the very fate of WCW is in ''my hands''.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric Flair comes down to the ring]''
:'''Ric Flair''': Did I - Did I - WOOOOO! Did I happen to hear Vince McMahon say he was goin' to hold WCW in the palms of his hands? Is that what he said? Does that mean that YOU are gonna hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race, the Road Warriors, Sting, Luger, the Steiners, Bagwell, Ric Flair, Steamboat, does that mean you're gonna hold us all in the palm of your hands? To coin a phrase, I don't think so! You know, at twelve o'clock today, someone very special to me said, &quot;Do not go onto that show tonight knowin' it's the last time that you'll ever be on TNT or TBS&quot; - knowing it's the last time, she said to me, &quot;Don't go out there and cry - don't go out there and say you're sorry&quot; because I'm not - I've been fourteen times the World Champion - in my eyes, one of the greatest, you got it! The greatest wrestling organization in the world - WCW!

:We... I'm talkin' about the Stings, the Lugers, the Steiners, the Road Warriors - I'm talkin' about my best friend, Arn Anderson and the Four Horsemen - we have been on a par, and we have been equal to any wrestling organization in the world - as a matter of fact, we have run neck and neck with you, Vince McMahon, for years - for YEARS - and just for trivia, Vince McMahon, do you know that in 1981, when you were trying to become an announcer, your dad was on the board of directors and voted for ME to be the world champion - WOOOO! How 'bout that? And ever since that day, I have been a limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin-dealin', son of a gun, that along with the whole WCW dammit all, have kissed the girls worldwide, and made 'em cry! 'Cause ya see, we were every bit the force, we were WCW - we lived, we breathed, we sweat, we paid the price to be the best - never been about the boys - it's always been WWF vs. the WCW in the office - the boys that have gone out there, night in and night out, doing everything they could to be the very best at what they chose to do in their life - those boys are here tonight - we are!

:We're not going anywhere, you can't hold us in your hands and predict our life! We're WCW! We've bled and we've sweat - when was the last time you wrestled for an hour, cut yourself five times, bled for 45 minutes... when were you there? You weren't! You weren't! You were never in the dressing room, on the road 40 days and 40 nights, bleedin', sweatin', goin' to the next town, you weren't there, you can't hold people's lives in your hands. We're the greatest wrestling company of all time - I wanna say it again - you can't control us or our future, and in closing, let me say this - in all my years in this sport, my greatest opponent with this company has been Sting - so tonight, if we're going out, if we're going out on a high note, Stinger, the Nature Boy wants you right here, because - that's right - that's right - ya hear it, Sting? Sting, my greatest opponent - Sting, it's your last chance - your last chance to be... ''[crowd chants Sting]'' Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting, Sting - Sting! To be - the man, you've gotta beat the man, and Sting... I'M. THE. MAN. WOOOOOO!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[after a segment where Vince McMahon admonishes Michael Cole over his questions about WCW wrestlers' job security and his own job security, then toasting with Trish Stratus]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': How do we all feel? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': How do we all feel about our own job security?
:'''Schiavone''': Where does WCW go from here? What's in the cards? What's going to, what's going to happen, tonight on this telecast?
:'''Hudson''': What is gonna happen? 
:'''Schiavone''': Is this it? I mean this is... Fans, we're reacting and we could only react to what you see as well, we don't know.
:'''Hudson''': Mr McMahon has said there's gonna be a simulcast tonight. What's he gonna say? When's he gonna say it?
:'''Schiavone''': ''[as the WCW World Tag Team Championship match begins]'' The wrestlers, the fans are concerned. The people who worked for WCW are concerned, who have sweat, bled for this company for years, we are all very concerned about the future of WCW, about the future of, well, right there our brand of wrestling.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In a prerecorded video, DDP reflects on his WCW journey]''
:'''Diamond Dallas Page''': In the words of the Grateful Dead, what a long strange trip it's been, but I gotta tell you, I've loved every second of it, wouldn't trade it for nothing. And tonight, on this historic eve, I thought I needed to thank all the wrestling fans from around the world, for letting a kid from the Jersey Shore, Page Joseph Falkenberg, become Diamond Dallas Page. The guy they said would never make it but did. And that proves only one thing, if you want it bad enough and you're willing to work for it, anything's possible. It's not the promoters who decide who's over, it's the fans, so not just to thanks the fans in general, I want to specially thank, the WCW wrestling fans and my wife, Kimberly, for believing in me, and helping me live my dream. Is that dream over? I don't think so, I think now it's time to take it to another level. ''[to camera]'' Thank you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[as the WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Championship match begins, Tony Schiavone goes a bit off-script upon learning of William Regal talking to Vince McMahon over his purchase of WCW]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': I don't want to sit here, and as a person who's been on Monday Nitro for many years, it hits you to hear anything that he once said... Mr McMahon, it's his money, he can do whatever he wants, I don't know what he's gonna do tonight, but let me say this: to sit here and listen to their Commissioner, rip WCW? 
:'''Scott Hudson''': Yes.
:'''Schiavone''': Come on. I mean, we've had to do some crazy things, Steve Regal, including putting your ass over on TV!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[calling the match between Sting and Ric Flair]''
:'''Tony Schiavone''': ''[sees Sting Superplex Flair]'' Yes, he got it down. What's Sting gonna do now? ''[Scorpion Deathlock]'' Scorpion Deathlock!! He's got it on!
:'''Scott Hudson''': Center of the ring!
:'''Schiavone''': ''[Flair quits]'' It's over! It's over!! It's Sting! Sting wins! Sting defeats Ric Flair here on the final telecast of ''WCW Monday Nitro'' on TNT. And look at that, my god that he's gonna help him up. And the embrace, it's what we're all about. 
:'''Hudson''': Sting knows that Ric Flair made him at that Clash of the Champions. That's ultimate respect.
:'''Schiavone''': It really is.
:'''Hudson''': For two men, I have to say, that have huge fans of, they may be continue to be fans of professional wrestling. Thank you Steve Borden, thank you Ric Flair, for everything you've meant to this sport.
:'''Schiavone''': It's an emotional rollercoaster for all of us fans. The uncertainty of our jobs, our future of what we love, what we breathe, and what we live. We don't just work for WCW, we lived WCW, and I know Flair is thinking that the fans would agree.

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
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  <page>
    <title>Despicable Me 2</title>
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      <text bytes="67111" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Despicable Me 2|Despicable Me 2]]''''' is [[w:2013 in film|2013]] CGI-animated film and a sequel to the 2010 film ''[[Despicable Me]]''. This time, instead of Gru trying to take over the world, he gets recruited by the Anti-Villain League (AVL) to help them track and take down an unknown villain. 
:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] and [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]]. Written by [[w:Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio|Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio]].''
{{center|'''When the world needed a hero, they called a villain.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

==Dialogue==
:'''Gru''': [''on the phone''] No, no, no! What do you mean, she’s not coming?! I have a backyard full of these little girls who are counting on a visit from a fairy princess! [''a Minion accidentally hits his shin with a mace''] Ah! Hurts! Ah! Stop it! [''chases him off with his spatula; sighs before getting back on the phone''] Listen! I don’t want a refund! I want a fairy princess... please! Please, I am begging you. [''pauses''] You know what? I hope that you can sleep at night, you crusher of little girls’ dreams! [''hits the phone with his spatula and hangs up'']
:'''Agnes''': [''approaches him''] Oo, oo, when is the fairy princess coming?
:[''Silence'']
:'''Gru''': [''in a happy singsong voice''] Any minute now.
:[''pause'']
:'''Agnes''': Yay! [''runs off'']
:'''Gru''': [''to the Minions; quietly''] Stall them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[during Agnes' birthday party, Agnes looks up the disguised Gru, and sighs]''
:'''Gru''': ''[falsetto]'' It is I, Gru... Zinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday! ''[throws a handful of fairy dust]''
:'''Little Girl''': [''raises her hand''] Why are you so fat?
:'''Gru''': ''[falsetto]'' Because… my house is made of candy, and sometimes, I ''eat'' instead of facing my problems!
:'''Little Girl''': How come you have... [''Gru cuts her off; coughs'']
:'''Gru''': ''[normally]'' Okay, time for cake!
:[''All children, except Agnes, run to the table'']
:'''Agnes''': Thank you, Gruzinkerbell. You’re the best fairy princess ever.
:'''Gru''': ''[falsetto]'' You are welcome, little girl.
:'''Agnes''': [''runs off, but quickly returns; whispering''] I know it’s really you, Gru. I’m just pretending for the other kids.
:[''Gru happily sees her running off, until he is approached by Jillian'']
:'''Jillian''': Hey there, Gru, Mr. Life of the Party!
:'''Gru''': [''attempts a smile; normally''] Hello, Jillian.
:'''Jillian''': ''So'', I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie is recently single, and... [''Natalie falls down'']
:'''Gru''': No, no, no. Get off the limb right now. No limb.
:'''Jillian''': Oh, come... she’s a riot. She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time, looks aren’t that important to her...
:'''Gru''': No, Jill’s, that is not happening. Seriously, I’m fine.
:'''Jillian''': [calling after him] Okay, fine. Forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?
:'''Gru''': [''passes by Margo and Edith''] No.
:'''Jillian''': Oh, oh! I know someone whose husband just died... [''gets sprayed by Gru's garden hose'']
:'''Gru''': [''dryly''] I'm sorry. I did not see you there. [''sprays her again''] Or there. [''drops the hose and walks away holding the palette, chuckling softly'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''After the party, Gru takes Kyle outside. Unbeknownst to both of them, they are being watched'']
:'''Gru''': Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, no! Do not do your business on the petunias! [''picks Kyle and drops him in the yard next door''] There you go, those are Fred's. Go crazy. [''Kyle does his business, killing the plant; chuckles sinisterly''] Good boy.
:'''Lucy''': [''off-screen''] Mr. Gru?
:'''Gru''': [''stuttering''] Wha, I didn't, wha... Yes?
:'''Lucy''': [''appears on-screen''] Hi. Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL. [''shows her AVL ID-card, but notices she shows it upside-down''] Oops. [''giggles nervously, then becomes serious''] Sorry. You're gonna have to come with me.
:'''Gru''': Oh, sorry. I- [''suddenly takes his freeze out of his polo, then aims and fires at Lucy''] Freeze ray!
:[''However, Lucy silently counters the beam of Gru's freeze ray with the flames of her hair dryer-shaped flamethrower, canceling eachother out'']
:'''Lucy''': You know, you really should announce your weapons [''takes a tube of lipstick out of her purse''] ''after'' you fire them, Mr. Gru. For example, [''presses a button on the tube, two barbs shoot into Gru, who drops his freeze ray when he is filled with electricity; in a happy singsong voice''] Lipstick ''tazer!'' [''Gru convulses, dances disco, and finally passes out due to the shock''] Oh, it works so good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Silas''': Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.
:'''Gru''': [''weakly''] Yeah...
:'''Silas''': I apologize for our methods of getting you there.
:'''Lucy''': I don't! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! And I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually...
:'''Silas''': [''interrupts Lucy''] That's enough, Agent Wilde.
:'''Lucy''': Sorry, sir.
:'''Gru''': Okay, this is bogus! I don't know who you people think you are, but...
:'''Silas''': We are the Anti-Villain League. An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We're not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But if you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or Vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even steal the moon? Then we notice.
:'''Gru''': First of all, you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!
:'''Silas''': We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here. I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom.
:'''Stuart''': [''smirks''] Bottom. [''starts laughing along with Phil'']
:'''Silas''': [''unamused''] Hilarious. Agent Wilde...
:'''Lucy''': Oh, me now? Um, recently an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Artic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab. Just whoosh. Voom. Gone. Where did it go?
:'''Gru''': I don't care.
:'''Lucy''': Hmm, the lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41. A transmutation serum. What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, It's pretty bad... Look.
:[''One of the scientists on the monitor injects a bunny with PX-41 serum. The mutated bunny then attacks the scientist, threatening to kill him'']
:'''Gru''': Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.
:'''Silas''': As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum, could be the most devastating weapon on Earth. Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. And, using our latest chem tracking technology, we have found traces of it in Paradise Mall.
:'''Gru''': [''scoffs''] A mall?
:'''Silas''': Precisely. And we believe one of these shop owners is a master criminal. And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.
:'''Lucy''': The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall where hopefully...
:'''Gru''': Okay! I see where this is going, with all the [[w:Mission Impossible|Mission Impossible]] stuff, but no. No! I'm a father now. ''And'' a legitimate business man. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.
:'''Silas''': [''laughs mockingly''] &quot;Jams and jellies&quot;?
:'''Gru''': Oh, attitude! That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. [''pauses''] And here's a tip: Instead of tazing people and kidnapping them,  maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!
:'''Silas''': [''calmly''] Ramsbottom.
:'''Gru''': [''chuckles; sarcastically''] Yeah, like that's any better.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''At night, Gru just came home from the AVL, carrying the sleeping Agnes on his shoulders, and enters the girls' bedroom'']
:'''Gru''': [''whispers''] Hey, I told you guys to get to bed.
:'''Margo''': Oh, sorry.
:'''Edith''': [''making a drawing''] So when ya goin' on your date?
:'''Gru''': What?
:'''Edith''': Remember? Miss Jillian said she was arranging a date for you. 
:'''Gru''': Yeah, well, she is a nut job and I'm not going on any date.
:'''Edith''': Why not? [''hangs from her bed ladder''] Are you scared?
:[''a flashback reveals an eight-year old Gru on a playground when in elementary school, holding a flower behind his back'']
:'''Lisa''': [''to her friends''] Hey, did you guys see the moon landing on TV?
:'''Girls''': Yeah, I can’t believe it. It’s so cool...
:'''Lisa''': Yeah, and you know what...
:'''Young Gru''': [''approaches them''] Excuse me, Lisa?
:'''Lisa''': [''not paying attention''] I was talking to Billy the other day.
:'''Girls''': No way.
:'''Lisa''': And I think he likes me.
:'''Young Gru''': [''clears his throat; nervous''] Hey Lisa, I was wondering if you... [''taps his finger on her shoulder'']
:'''Little Girl''': [''points at Gru’s finger on Lisa’s shoulder''] Ewww! Gru touched Lisa! Gru touched Lisa!
:'''Little Kids''': [''horrified''] Eeeewww!
:'''Little Girl''': [''to the whole playground''] Lisa’s got Gruties!
:[''Everyone runs back inside in response, screaming; the young Gru remains on the playground, disappointed'']
:'''Gru''': [''comes out of his flashback''] Scared? Of what? Women?! [''chuckles''] No! That's bonkers! I just... I've no interest in going on a date! That's all! Case closed! I am not scared of women... or dates... Let's go to bed. Good night, Edith. [''gives a goodnight kiss to Edith''] Good night, Margo. [''gives a goodnight kiss to Margo, but returns''] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the horses. Who are you texting?
:'''Margo''': No one. Just my friend Avery.
:'''Gru''': Avery. [''confused''] Eh? Avery? Is that a girl’s name or a boy’s name?
:'''Margo''': [''confused''] Does it matter?
:'''Gru''': No. No, it doesn’t matter unless it’s a boy!
:'''Agnes''': I know what makes you a boy.
:'''Gru''': [''concerned''] Uh...oooh...you...do?
:'''Agnes''': Your bald head.
:'''Gru''': [''relieved''] ''Oh'', yes...
:'''Agnes''': [''creates an imaginary line with her hands around the head of a temporarily confused Gru''] It’s really smooth. Sometimes I stare at it, and imagine a little [[bird|chick]] popping out. [''imitates a little chick''] Peep-peep-peep.
:'''Gru''': Good night, Agnes. [''gives her a kiss on the forehead''] Never get older. [''leaves the girls' bedroom and turns off the lights'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': Hey, Tim! Nice haircut! Donny, hang in there, baby! It’s almost Friday. [''high-fives Donny before as he approaches Dr. Nefario''] So, how’s today batch, Doctor Nefario?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': I’ve developed a new formula which allowed me to get every known kind of berry into one flavor of jelly.
:'''Gru'''': [''sticks his finger in and tastes the goo; disgusted''] That tastes good... [''gags''] Love the flavor of that...
:'''Dr. Nefario''': It’s horrible, isn’t it?
:'''Gru''': No! No! Oh, we’re making great progress! [''to the Minions''] Here, try some of this. [''hands the jar to a Minion, who tastes it but gags, handing it over to another, who tastes it and scrapes the jelly off his tongue before smashing the jar and all Minions run away''] Whoa... okay, just because everybody hates it doesn’t mean it’s not good.
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Listen, Gru. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about for some time now.
:'''Gru''': What? What’s wrong?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''clears his throat''] I miss being evil. Sinister plots, large-scale crimes...It’s what I live for! I mean, don’t you think, that there’s more to our future than jelly?
:'''Gru''': Well... [''delighted''] I’m also considering a line of jams...
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Um...the thing is, Gru... [''takes a deep breath''] I’ve had an offer of employment elsewhere.
:'''Gru''': [''pauses; smug''] Dr. Nefario! Come on, you’re kidding, right?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''presses a button, folding his inventory into a suitcase''] It’s a great opportunity for me, bigger lab, more evil, full dental...
:'''Gru''': [''stares back at his old friend and sighs; calmly''] Very well. Let us give you the proper send-off. [''calls his henchmen off-screen''] Minions! [''seven Minions walk in, each carrying a fart gun; solemnly''] The highest honor awarded to Dr. Nefario for your years of service – the twenty-one Fart Gun salute! 
:'''Minion''': Buado! [''seven fart guns are fired''] Buado! [''seven fart guns are fired''] Buado! [''seven fart guns are fired'']
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''coughs as the fart blows past him''] Uh, I counted twenty-two. [''he and Gru look at Dave, who laughs embarrassedly'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''During the morning after one of Gru’s minions were abducted'']
:'''Agnes''': Are you sure we should be doing this?
:'''Margo''': Yes, it’s for his own good. [''searching through Gru’s online pictures''] Okay, we need to choose a picture. [''clicks on one of Gru’s photos'']
:'''Agnes''': No. [''Margo shows another picture''] Scary.
:'''Edith''': [''as Margo shows another photo''] Weird. 
:[''The girls scream in horror when Margo shows a picture of Gru in his swimming trunks'']
:'''Agnes''': [''with her eyes covered''] What is that?!
:'''Gru''': [''enters the family room''] Good morning, girls, I have an announcement to make!
:'''Margo''': Hey, what celebrity do you look like?
:'''Gru''': Uhhh... Bruce Willis?
:[''The girls stare at Gru blankly'']
:'''Margo''': Mmm... No.
:'''Agnes''': Humpty Dumpty!
:'''Edith''': Ohhh... Gollum!
:[''The girls start laughing while Gru gives a &quot;I don't get it&quot; expression'']
:'''Gru''': Okay, what are you doing?
:'''Agnes''': We're signing you up for online dating!
:'''Gru''': Oh, okay... WHAT?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''grabs the laptop from Margo'']
:'''Edith''': Aw come on, it's fun.
:'''Margo''': And it's time for you to get out there.
:'''Gru''': No! Stop! no one is ever getting out there! Ever! [''quickly passes the laptop to a Minion next to him, accidentally hitting him in the face; solemnly''] Okay, now for the announcement: I have accepted a new job!
:'''Margo''': Whoa! Really?
:'''Gru''': Yes, I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world!
:'''Edith''': You're gonna be a spy?!
:'''Gru''': That's right, baby! Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons and cool cars! The whole deal!
:'''Edith''': [''amazed''] Awe''some''!
:'''Agnes''': Are you really gonna save the world?
:'''Gru''': [''coolly''] Yes, [''puts on a pair of sunglasses''] yes, I am.
:'''Dave''': [''copies him''] Mocha!
:'''Tim''': [''with male pattern baldness and an old dutch beard, wearing a shirt and tie''] Cacao!
:'''Stuart''':  [''dressed as Pippi Longstocking''] Papadum? Eh. [''chuckles'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucy''': [''to herself; out of breath''] Oof, wasn’t expecting that. [''strikes a martial arts pose''] Or was I? [''turns to Gru''] Ooh, you got... you got a little of... [''a purple frosting-covered Gru gives her a deadpan glare. A second later, a cupcake slowly falls off his head, leaving a long smear on it''] Here, I’ll...I’ll get it... [''tries to remove the icing off a dumbstruck Gru’s face''] Oh, that’s just spreading... um...
:'''Gru''': All right, all right. I got it, I got it! [''irritated''] Stop it!
:'''Lucy''': [''backs off''] Oh. [''takes a deep breath''] I'll let you get it. [''Gru sighs and rubs the icing off his face, then uses his scarf like a towel to clean it''] Yeah, what you just saw there was a little something new I have been working on. It’s a combination of Jujitsu, Krav Maga, Aztec warfare and [''singing''] ''krumpin'!''
:'''Gru''': [''annoyed''] Okay, that’s weird. Why are you here?
:'''Lucy''': [''suddenly appears in front of Gru''] On assignment from Silas. [''grabs Gru by his jacket's lapels; excited''] I’m your new partner! ''Yay!'' [''starts dancing'']
:'''Gru''': What?! No, no [''mocking''] ''yay''! [''normal voice''] Ramsbottom didn’t say anything about a partner.
:'''Lucy''': Well, it seems that because of your checkered past, everyone else refused to work with you. But not me! I stepped up. And I’m new, so I kind of have to do what they tell me anyway.
:'''Dave''': [''comes out of the kitchen, then shows them a Minion-shaped cupcake''] Voila!
:[''However, Lucy, thinking Dave is an enemy, sweeps the cupcake from his hands, smashing it into pieces. She then grabs Dave, puts and pins him on the counter; Dave starts screaming, feared of getting attacked'']
:'''Lucy''': [''referring to Dave; to Gru''] You know this guy?
:'''Gru''': ''[calmly]'' Yes, he's one of my Minions.
:'''Lucy''': [''groans in disappointment and smiles embarrassingly''] Oh, I’m sorry. I should have known. [''to Dave, releasing him''] You’re free to go.
:[''Dave jumps off the counter, but as he leaves for the kitchen, Lucy smiles at him. This causes Dave to daydream about her, from walking with Lucy, following both having a toast to finally attempting to kiss each other until...'']
:'''Gru''': [''v.o.''] Dave... [''cut on a love struck Dave air kissing; whistles''] Earth to Dave! 
:'''Dave''': [''snaps out and sees Gru and Lucy looking at him''] Huh?
:'''Gru''': You can leave now.
:'''Dave''': Oh, uh... [''gibberish, then enters the kitchen'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru and Lucy go on undercover, locating the crime suspects'']
:'''Gru''': [''looking around the mall with a periscope along with Lucy''] So, what do we got? Who’s on the list? Fire 'em at me.
:'''Lucy''': First suspect, Hedda Blumentoft, owner of the Mum’s the Word Floral Shop.
:'''Gru''': No, not her.
:'''Lucy''': Okay, moving on... Chuck Kinney, &quot;owner of Stuff-a-Bear&quot;. [''a boy receives a balloon from Chuck, but pops, making the boy wail''] Ooh.
:'''Gru''': I don’t think so.
:'''Eduardo''': [''suddenly comes inside the shop''] Hello? [''Gru and Lucy force themselves to act natural''] Buenos dias, my friends! I am Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa y Salsa restaurant, across the mall. Now open for breakfast. And you are...?
:'''Gru''': [''introducing''] Gru. And this is Lucy. And we are closed.
:'''Eduardo''': This is just gonna take un momento. I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo party, and I am going to need two hundred of your best cupcakes decorated with the Mexican flag. It looks something like this. [''rips his shirt open, revealing a giant tattoo of the Mexican flag on his chest''] What do you think? [''flexes and makes his chest wave'']
:'''Gru''': [''hides his eyes in disgust''] Look away!
:'''Lucy''': [''stares at Eduardo''] You—Whoa... Hooo...
:'''Eduardo''': Anyway, I have to go. It’s all settled! I pick ‘em up next week! Have a good day. Come by if you get a chance, okay? [''leaves the store; Gru groans in relief; suddenly pops back in''] And welcome to the mall family! [''Gru studies his face and gasps, seeing Eduardo in a red luchador mask surrounded by flames as he leaves the mall''] 
:'''Gru''': [''whispering to himself''] El Macho.
:'''Lucy''': [''confused''] What?
:'''Gru''': [''looking through the window''] But it couldn't be...
:'''Lucy''': Wha... What? What couldn't be?
:'''Gru''': [''referring to Eduardo''] That guy looks exactly like a villain named El Macho. From about twenty years ago. [''a flashback reveals El Macho, twenty years ago;voice-over''] He was ruthless,... [''El Macho empties a bottle of tequila into a glass and smashes it over his head'']  he was dangerous... [''El Macho squeezes a rattlesnake's venom out of his fangs, filling his glass''] and as the name implies [''El Macho simply eats his glass''] ''very'' macho! [''El Macho pins his money to the bar with the rattlesnake's fangs and leaves through the wall''] He had the reputation of committing heists using only his bare hands! [''El Macho stops a cargo truck with his head, then punches the driver out''] But sadly, like all the greats, El Macho was gone too soon. He died in the most macho way possible: riding a shark with 250 pounds of dynamite strapped to his chest into the mouth of an active volcano! It was glorious!
:'''Lucy''': [''confused''] Yeah, sounds like El Macho’s pretty dead...
:'''Gru''': They never found the body. Oh no. All that was ever retrieved was a pile of singed chest hair. [''pause''] But that face! It has got to be El Macho!
:'''Lucy''': [''gasps''] So what do you say you and I break into his restaurant? Tonight?
:'''Gru''': Yes, that’s good, because I’m telling you, if anyone in this place holds the PX-41 serum, [''points to Eduardo''] it’s him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''entering the girls' bedroom''] All right, homework done, pajamas on, teeth brushed, time for bed.
:'''Margo''': What's the big hurry?
:'''Gru''': I just... I have a lot of work to do.
:'''Edith''': Work, what ''kind'' of work?
:'''Gru''': Very important business. So hugs, kisses... [''gives the girls a hug and kisses their foreheads, then puts them in bed''] Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... [''suddenly sees Agnes standing at the doorway''] 
:'''Agnes''': But you said me you would help me practice my part for the Mother’s Day show.
:'''Gru''': [''sighs; giving in''] Fine, fine... [''reluctantly''] Let me hear it, quickly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Agnes''': [''blankly''] She kisses my boo-boos, she braids my hair. My mother is beyond compare. We love you mothers everywhere. [''smiles at Gru'']
:'''Gru''': [''surprised''] Wow! ''That'' was... something else! I really like the way you smiled at the end. Let's try this one more time, but a teensy bit less like a zombie, okay?
:'''Agnes''': Okay. [''blankly''] She kisses my boo-boos, she braids my hair...
:'''Gru''': [''cuts her off, throws the script and turns around walking away''] Perfect. Time to go.
:'''Agnes''': I don't think I should do this.
:'''Gru''': [''stopping''] Well, what do you mean? How come?
:'''Agnes''': I don't even have a mom.
:'''Gru''': Well, you don't need one to do the show. I mean, you did the Veteran's Day pageant and you haven't been in combat.
:'''Agnes''': This is different.
:'''Gru''': Okay, well, then... maybe you could just use your imagination.
:'''Agnes''': You mean I pretend that I have a mom?
:'''Gru''': Yes, right. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Agnes''': [''delightedly''] Yeah! I do that all the time! Thanks, Gru! [''gives him a kiss and leaves; Gru is confused'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': [''lifting a floor tile; smiling maliciously''] We’re stealth ninjas. We make no sound.
:'''Lucy''': Right. Gotcha. [''kicks the door open, much to Gru’s astonishment''] Ya!
:'''Gru''': [''maliciously''] Alright, El Macho. You're going down.
:'''Lucy''': [''stops him''] Wait! Wait.
:'''Gru''': What? [''Lucy takes a spray can out of her purse and starts spraying the air; confused''] What are you doing?
:'''Lucy''': I'm checking for laser beam alarm triggers.
:'''Gru''': It's a restaurant! [''looks at her sternly'']
:'''Lucy''': You never know what booby traps this guy could've set, huh? Come on!
:'''Gru''': There are no booby traps. [''accidentally steps on a wire unseen, triggering and ringing a bell'']
:'''Lucy''': Ha! [''pointing to the bell''] Booby! [''The door leading to the kitchen suddenly opens, causing Lucy to become startled, quickly hiding behind Gru. The shadow reveals none other than a chicken''] Huh, there's a chicken. [''gasps''] Are you lost, little guy? You must be lost!
:'''Gru''': [''points to the chicken, referring to it; smug''] Ha! Some guard dog. [''the chicken suddenly leaps on him, continuously pecking his bald head''] Aah! Get it off of me! Get it off of me! Get it off of me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru and Lucy are looking for the PX-41 serum in Eduardo's kitchen'']
:'''Lucy''': [''referring to the X-ray goggles''] How're they working? Tell me, tell me!
:'''Gru''': [''frightened upon seeing Lucy via the X-ray goggles''] Aah! Oof!
:'''Lucy''': [''confused''] What's wrong? Something wrong?
:'''Gru''': [''dazed''] Oh, that's an image I'll never get out of my brain. Blagh! [''continues looking with the x-ray goggles until he sees a portrait holding something; smiling sinisterly''] I knew it! [''gasps; removes the painting off the wall, revealing a safe''] The serum is in here!
:'''Lucy''': Ooh, then let’s get it!
:'''Gru''': [''takes a safe-cracking device out of his pocket, placing it over the combination wheel which activates automatically; giggling gleefully''] Oh, this is going to be good! Ahh... [''the safe opens, revealing something other than the serum''] Aha! [''realizing the canister does not contain the serum''] What? [''it is revealed he is holding a jar filled with salsa''] It’s... secret salsa?
:'''Lucy''': [''disappointed''] Aw, man.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru and Lucy are hiding in garbage bins in the mall'']
:'''Lucy''': [''puts on her binoculars''] All right, there he is. Suspect #8: Floyd Eaglesan.
:'''Gru''': Oh, okay.
:'''Lucy''': See if you can get closer. Go, go...
:'''Gru''': [''tries to approach the entrance but makes sharp noise when moving the garbage bin; Floyd Eagle-san turns back and looks around, then enters the store''] Alright, what do-  [''when a man attempts to throw a cup of hot coffee into Gru's garbage can; to himself''] Oh no. That's not good! [''suddenly freezes, revealing his legs. Confused, the man tries it again, but Gru dodges and takes off running, accidentally hitting a bent-over woman's rear-end before he falls down the escalator, rolling out of the garbage can and stumbling upon his daughters'']
:'''Agnes''': [''o.s.''] Hey, Gru!
:'''Gru''': [''looks up and sees the girls in front of him''] Oh, girls! What are you doing here?
:'''Margo''': Well, we thought we'd come to visit you at work. [''looks at her father and the trash can''] So... you're saving the world in a garbage can?
:'''Gru''': [''sarcastically''] Ah ha ha ha ha! Funny.
:'''Lucy''': [''comes up from behind Gru''] Hey, there you are. [''looking at the girls''] Oh, who's this?
:'''Gru''': Lucy, these are my girls: Margo, Edith and Agnes. Girls — Lucy. Lucy — Girls
:[''Lucy smiles and shakes head slightly at the girls greeting them, tenderly'']
:'''Margo''': Hello! 
:'''Edith''': Hi! 
:'''Agnes''': [''stares at Lucy, seeing a magical glow around her; sincerely''] Are you single? 
:[''Gru and Lucy become surprised by Agnes' words'']
:'''Lucy''': Oh. Goodness...
:'''Gru''': Oh! Hey! ''I'' have an idea! Since Lucy and I have lots of work to do, why don't you girls go and explore the mall? [''leaves Lucy along with the girls''] Here's some money. Go buy some useless mall junk, some headbands and...
:'''Agnes''': Are you gonna marry Lucy?
:'''Gru''': Are you out of your gourd? No! She just works with me.
:'''Agnes''': Plus you love her. [''happily singing and dancing, attracting attention to everyone in the mall''] You love her! You love her! You really, really love her, and you're gonna get married! And I'll be the flower girl!
:'''Gru''': Okay, stop. This is a song of lies. I don't even like her. [''points to the mall''] Now go have fun. [''The girls leave; prepares to stand up''] 
:'''Agnes''': [''laughs''] Almost forgot! Hugs! [''storms off to Gru along with her older siblings to give him a hug, throwing themselves on top of him'']
:'''Margo''': Good luck saving the world! Bye!
:'''Agnes''': Bye, Gru! [''runs away happily'']
:'''Gru''': [''walks back to Lucy, chuckling awkwardly''] Kids... right? They're... funny.
:'''Lucy''': Those girls totally adore you! I bet you're a fun dad. [''walks away with a smile'']
:'''Gru''': [''in a bland tone''] Huh, I am pretty fun.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Agnes''': [''seeing Edith grabbing coins from the wishing fountain in the mall''] Is that stealing?
:'''Edith''': [''comes out of the water, wearing a diving mask and snorkel''] Not if my wish was to get a lot of free coins!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Antonio''': Cool glasses.
:'''Margo''': Uh... [''chuckles nervously'']
:'''Antonio''': I’m Antonio.
:'''Margo''': I’m...Margo.
:'''Antonio''': I was just going to get a cookie. Care to join me?
:'''Margo''': [''nervous''] Uh,... sure. I’m... Margo. [''once seeing her going out with Antonio, Edith, still wearing her diving mask and snorkel, loudly clears her throat in suspicion; nervous''] Um... I’ll catch up with you guys later. Bye! [''leaves her sisters'']
:'''Edith''': [''in disgust''] Can I be the first to say... Ewwww!
:'''Agnes''': [''eagerly shaking Edith''] We gotta go tell Gru!
:[''Meanwhile, Gru arrives at Eagle Hair Club'']
:'''Gru''': [''contacting Lucy''] Alright, I’m going in.
:'''Lucy''': [''informs him at Bake My Day by monitor as he activates a chem-tracking device shaped like a belt; through headphones''] If it picks up any traces of the serum, the center of your belt buckle [''aloud''] will make a sound like this: Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo!
:'''Gru''': [''cuts off Lucy; annoyed''] Okay! I get it! I get it! [''fumbles with the automatic door, then enters Eagle Hair Club'']
:'''Floyd''': [''chuckles''] Welcome to Eagle Hair Club. [''turns his eagle-like chair, revealing himself holding and stroking a toupee''] It’s about time you showed up...Mr. Gru. [''the bald eagle perched next to him squawks'']
:'''Gru''': You...know my name?
:'''Floyd''': [''chuckles''] When someone moves into the mall who is follically challenged, I make it my business to know all about them. You are bald. And that is bad. [''strokes the toupee he’s holding, kisses it, then puts it on a mannequin head''] There you go, my sweet.
:[''at Bake My Day'']
:'''Lucy''': [''monitoring Gru’s chem-tracking device''] I’m getting nothing so far. I think you need to look around.
:[''at Eagle Hair Club, after listening to Lucy in the headphones; Gru walks away, smiling nervously, and starts looking around the mall, but none of the mannequin heads give a signal'']
:'''Gru''': [''starts thrusting his hips once noticing a painting''] Wow, this looks interesting. What is it?
:'''Floyd''': [''suspiciously''] I take it you’re an art lover?
:'''Lucy''': [''in headphones''] No serum.
:'''Gru''': Yeah, not so much. [''walks over to a podium holding a trophy and starts thrusting his hips at it''] Oh, how about this impressive trinket?
:'''Floyd''': [''gasps''] I hardly call it trinket, Mr. Gru.
:'''Lucy''': [''in headphones''] Nothing.
:'''Floyd''': The International—
:'''Gru''': Yeah, I don’t care. [''moves over to a shelf filled with wig samples and starts straddling it''] 
:'''Lucy''': [''in headphones, startling Gru''] Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo!!! Hold on, I’m picking up something. Behind that wall! 
:'''Gru''': Ahh... and what do we have here?
:'''Floyd''': [''grabs a sample''] These are my trial wigs. [''hands Gru a bag with a wig in it''] You should take one.
:'''Gru''': No, thanks. [''sticks his head into the shelf''] So what’s on the other side of the wall?
:'''Floyd''': There you are! Look at me! Focus!
:'''Lucy''': [''in headphones''] Gru?
:'''Floyd''': I promise, that this wig will transform you from ugly to irresistible.
:[''Gru is staring at the wig when Agnes and Edith hastily storm inside Eagle Hair Club, making him lose his focus'']
:'''Agnes''': MARGO HAS A BOYFRIEND! 
:'''Edith''': AND THEY’RE GOING ON A DATE!
:'''Gru''': [''suddenly hysterical, to Edith''] Date?! [''to Agnes'']  Boyfriend?! [''to Floyd''] What?! [''Floyd shrugs shoulders and shakes his head nervously; Gru stares at Agnes and Edith'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru, Edith and Agnes enter Eduardo's restaurant and notice Margo and Antonio are eating a cookie'']
:'''Margo''': [''chuckling''] Oh, you're so funny!
:[''Cut back to the other Grus noticing
:'''Edith''': Gross! [''referring to Margo and Antonio, pointing at them''] Look, they're in love!
:'''Gru''': Oh, no, no, no. Don't say that they're... no, no, no! [''leaves for Margo and Antonio'']
:'''Antonio''': [''seriously''] And my dream... is to one day play video games for a living.
:'''Margo''': Wow. [''chuckles''] You're so complicated!
:'''Gru''': [''interrupts them, smiling nervously''] Margo, [''Margo gasps in astonishment''] what is going on here?
:'''Margo''': Oh, Gru, se llama Antonio. Me llamo, Margo.
:'''Gru''': Me llamo llama ding-dong! [''serious''] Who cares? Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eduardo''': [''starts to hug Gru''] So good to see you again, mi compadré!
:'''Antonio''': Oh, I see you’ve already met my father. [''Margo lovingly stares at him'']
:'''Gru''': [''being hugged by Eduardo''] What the... father?
:'''Eduardo''': [''stops hugging him''] Si! Look at this crazy little world we live in, eh? Come, sit! Let me get you something.
:'''Gru''': [''sees Pollito squawking and glaring at him''] Oh... look at you. [''Eduardo scoops up the chicken; laughing nervously''] He likes me! [''attempts to pet Pollito, but he lunges at him'']
:'''Eduardo''': Oh, oh, I’m sorry, Pollito is usually very friendly. [''cradling his pet''] He had a rough night. [''Pollito stares at Gru relentlessly'']
:'''Gru''': [''chuckles nervously''] Well, we should be going. Girls, come on. [''attempts to leave'']
:'''Eduardo''': [''stops him and brings Margo and Antonio closer towards each other''] That is a pity. Young love is beautiful, no?
:'''Gru''': No! [''chuckles nervously''] You know, they’re not in love. They hardly know each other!
:'''Eduardo''': You are right, Cabesa De Huevo! They must get to know each other better. Antonio, why don’t you invite your girlfriend and her family to our Cinco de Mayo party?
:'''Gru''': No, no, I am...
:'''Edith and Agnes''': [''happily''] Si!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Silas''': I'm sorry. El Macho? Haven't we eliminated him as a suspect, after the whole &quot;Salsa&quot; incident?
:'''Gru''': Yes, but there has been a new development and I'm telling you: This is the guy. You need to arrest him immediately. ''And'' his deviously charming son! I'm pretty sure the son is involved in too. The son also. You got to get the son! [''referring to Antonio; whispering''] I think that the son is the mastermind. There is a look. There is a devilish look in his eyes and I don't like it! [''gets back in his chair'']
:'''Silas''': Yes, but I don't really see any evidence for-
:'''Gru''': [''cuts him off''] Evidence, schmevidence! I go with my gut and my gut tells me ''this'' guy is El Macho! Lock him up! Lock up the son. Don't forget about the son. The kid ''GIVES ME THE CREEPS''!
:'''Silas''': Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
:'''Lucy''': Uh, ''but'' on the less [''whistles''] ''crazy'' side of things, uh, Gru discovered traces of the serum at Eagle Hair Club.
:'''Silas''': [''regaining his interest''] Hmm, interesting.
:'''Lucy''': Yeah! And you know who made that happen? Huh? [''referring to Gru and pointing at him''] This guy. Nailed it! Amazing, right?
:'''Gru''': No, I mean... Sure, but it's not him. It is... [''whispering while glaring in Lucy's eyes''] ...El Macho!
:'''Silas''': Mr. Gru, please...
:'''Gru''': [''gets out of his chair and back outside''] No. It is him! And I will prove it!
:'''Lucy''': [''tries to stop him with no luck''] Gru, c'mon. [''turns to Silas; referring to Gru; chuckles nervously''] He really thinks it's El Macho. [''pause''] Can you tell? [''Silas gives her a bland glare'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gru is surfing on his laptop, looking up information about El Macho, when he suddenly realizes his internet connection has been lost]''
:'''Gru''': ''[groans]'' Kevin, the Wi-Fi's out! ''[pause]'' Kevin? ''[to a Minion]'' Hey, Lance, where the heck is Kevin? ''[Lance scoffs and shrugs; Gru sighs]'' All right. We need to revisit the number of vacation days you guys get. I can't find anybody anymore.
:''[The doorbell rings]''
:'''Jillian''': [''off-screen''] Gru! It's Jillian! [''Annoyed by her, Gru shoots an imaginary bullet in his head, becoming really bored''] I brought good news! [''cut on her with another woman''] I have my friend Shannon here with me. I was thinking, you two, can get some grub, you know, tear it up, see what happens! [''cracks herself up; cut on Gru seeing Agnes approaching; off-screen''] Uh, open up!
:'''Gru''': [''whispers''] Agnes, Agnes. [''Agnes stops singing''] Tell Jillian I'm not here.
:'''Agnes''': Gru's not here!
:'''Jillian''': Are you sure?
:'''Agnes''': Yes, he just told me! 
:'''Gru''': [''cringes''] Mmm-mmm!
:'''Agnes''': I mean, no. He didn't just tell me.
:'''Jillian''': [''laughs; peeking through the keyhole''] Agnes, where is Gru?
:[''Gru approaches Agnes, then makes a &quot;zip your lips&quot; gesture'']
:'''Agnes''': ''He's'' putting on lipstick. [''Gru swings his arms wildly, convincing her to stop''] ''He's'' swatting at flies! 
:'''Gru''': No!  [''makes a &quot;cut it off&quot; gesture''] No!
:'''Agnes''': ''He's'' [''skipping''] chopping his head off! [''Gru covers his head, groaning loudly''] ''He’s'' [''confused''] pooping?
:[''pause'']
:'''Jillian''': [''off-screen''] I know you're in there, Gru! There's no way you're getting out of this.
:[''When Gru looks annoyed, realizing this is getting him nowhere, Kyle, with the wig that Gru received from Floyd Eagle-san in his jaws, approaches him'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucy''': [''enters the Italian restaurant''] Hi. Take-out for Lucy?
:'''Hostess''': Sure. Just a sec. [''leaves off; After the hostess left, Lucy narrows her eyes, then hides behind a aquarium. She sees Gru and Shannon, who’s doing sit-ups, before she presses a button on her watch that turns into a eavesdropping device that she puts in her ears'']
:'''Shannon''': [''heard through Lucy’s high tech eavesdropping device''] Your accent is so exotic.
:'''Gru''': Ah. Well, thank you very much. I was...
:'''Shannon''': I know someone who can fix that for you and you’ll be talking normal in no time.
:'''Gru''': [''laughs awkwardly; sweating'']  Whew. Is it hot in here? How’s the food?
:[''pause'']
:'''Shannon''': Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you wearing a ''wig''?!
:'''Gru''': What? [''noticing his wig is in a wrong direction, quickly rotates it back; nervously''] I don't think so!
:'''Shannon''': I knew it. You're a phony. I hate phonies!
:'''Gru''': Oh... what? No, these locks are all mine...
:'''Shannon''': No, they're not! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna rip that thing off your head and show everyone [''heard through eavesdropping device''] what a bald-headed phony you are!
:'''Lucy''': I don't think so, Miss Lady. [''calmly activates her watch, revealing a target sight along with a couple of darts. Meanwhile, Gru watches in horror as Shannon approaches him. Suddenly, Lucy shoots a tranquilizer dart at Shannon’s buttocks, rendering her unconscious before she can remove the wig off Gru’s head and landing with her face in the spaghetti'']
:'''Gru''': [''confused''] Hello? Hello... Are you...
:'''Lucy''': [''off-screen''] Hey, Gru!
:'''Gru''': [''removes his wig''] Hello, Lucy! How you doin'?
:'''Lucy''': Wow, looks like your date's out for the count. It's like she's been shot with a mild moose tranquilizer. [''Shannon moans unconsciously like a moose, then passes out again; Lucy winks at Gru, who suddenly smiles and stares at her awkwardly; whispering''] Yeah, I'm winking 'cuz that's what actually happened.
:'''Waiter''': [''hurries to the table, politely''] 'Scusi, whassa happenin' here? She no like?
:'''Lucy''': Uh, she's just uh... Glurp glurp... [''makes a sign to the waiter that Shannon drank too much'']
:'''Waiter''': Oh, si, si! [''laughs nervously and moves away'']
:'''Lucy''': [''to Gru; referring to Shannon''] Shall we take her home?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''after taking Shannon back home'']
:'''Lucy''': Well, I think you did it. You just officially had the worst date ever.
:'''Gru''': Huh, tell me about it.
:'''Lucy''': Don’t worry, it can only get better from here, right? But if it doesn’t, you can always burrow my dart gun. I’ve had to use it on one or two dates myself.
:'''Gru''': Yeah, you know, as far as dates go, I think I’m good with just the one. [''chuckles nervously'']
:[''silence, until Lucy pats Gru on the shoulder'']
:'''Lucy''': Well, good night, partner. [''starts walking toward her car. Gru gets up to walk beside her''] This was fun.
:'''Gru''': Yes. Surprisingly, it was.
:'''Lucy''': Oh, and uh, just between you and me? You look much better bald. [''the spies exchange looks as Lucy pecks Gru on the cheek before happily leaving him''] See you tomorrow! [''Gru smiles happily as she takes off, unaware of Shannon falling off the porch behind him'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Gru just arrived at Paradise Mall and sees Silas with a couple of AVL agents at Eagle Hair Club'']
:'''Gru''': [''confused''] Mr. Ramsbottom?
:'''Silas''': Oh, hello.
:'''Gru''': What are you doing here?
:'''Silas''': We got him.
:'''Gru''': Got who?
:'''Silas''': Floyd Eaglesan! Our agents located a secret room in the shop last night, [''snaps his fingers, signaling a female AVL agent holding a Ziploc bag containing a canister. He then shows it to Gru''] and uh, discovered this! It’s empty, but we found traces of the PX-41 serum in it. He’s our man. So, somehow, in spite of your incompetence, we solved this one. 
:'''Floyd''': [''handcuffed and carried away''] I was framed! You won’t get away with this! Get your mitts off of me! I am a legitimate businessman!
:'''Gru''': [''stunned''] Ah. Alright. So... what now?
:'''Silas''': Well, you’re now free to go back to your “business”. Mmm. Jams and jellies. And it looks like Agent Wilde will be transferring to our Australian branch.
:'''Gru''': [''shocked''] Australia...?
:'''Silas''': Yes. But thank you...for everything. And by everything of course I mean... nothing. [''pause''] Toodle pip and cheerio, Mr. Gru. [''walks away to the AVL agents. Gru stares sadly from a distance, until Lucy gives him a few pats on his shoulder''] 
:'''Lucy''': Hey there.
:'''Gru''': Hey.
:'''Lucy''': So we got him?
:'''Gru''': Yay. That’s great. [''pause''] And now you’re going to Australia?
:'''Lucy''': Well, it’s not definite yet. Still figuring it out. Already been working on my accent. [''imitating an Australian accent''] Wallaby. Didgeree-doo. Hugh Jackman. [''chuckles''] So...um. Pretty excited...
:[''short silence'']
:'''Gru''': [''smiling''] Great. [''shyly''] Well... good luck.	
:'''Lucy''': Thanks. You too. [''pulls her lipstick taser out of her purse''] Oh, here, I want to give you this.
:'''Gru''': Your lipstick taser?
:'''Lucy''': Yeah, it’s just a memento. Just, you know, from the first time we met.
:'''Gru''': Oh, thank you, Lucy. [''accepts her lipstick taser'']
:'''Silas''': [''off-screen''] Agent Wilde?
:[''the two stare at each other awkwardly, unwilling to leave'']
:'''Gru''': Well... it looks like that they need you, so...
:'''Lucy''': Yeah, I uh, I better go. Bye, Gru.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''After learning that Lucy goes to Australia, Gru sags on the doorsteps of his house'']
:'''Agnes''': [''comes outside, holding an umbrella''] I brought you an umbrella.
:'''Gru''': [''smiles at Agnes, then takes the umbrella''] Ah, thank you.
:'''Agnes''': What are you doing out here?
:'''Gru''': Remember when you said that I liked Lucy? Well, it turns out... you're right.
:'''Agnes''': [''smiles''] Really?
:'''Gru''': Yes, but... Well, she's moving away. I'm never going to see her again. [''Agnes sags along with him and slightly kicks her feet'']
:'''Agnes''': Is there anything I could do to help?
:'''Gru''': Oh, I don't... I don't think so, sweetheart.
:'''Agnes''': Well, is anything ''you'' could do? [''Gru heads up like he suddenly remembers something'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gru''': Hello, Lucy. This is Gru. I know, up to this point, our relationship is been strictly professional, and that you’re leaving for Australia and all, but... [''stammering''] okay, here is the question. Would you like to... to go out on a date? 
:'''Minion''': [''dressed as Lucy''] Ehh... no.
:'''Gru''': Okay, that's not helping. [''hangs up the phone''] Alright, here we go, for ''real'' this time. [''checks Lucy's phone number, cracks his neck, then stretches and finally takes a deep breath; to himself''] I can do this. [''tries to pick up the phone, however, over time, becomes so frustrated that he stands up and takes his flamethrower; enraged''] ''I'' HATE YOU! [''uses his flamethrower to incinerate his telephone. In moments, the fire alarm starts blaring, and one of the Minions bursts through the wall with axes to put out the fire; followed by a Minion with a hose and a Minion imitating a siren. After putting out the fire, the Minion makes his Siren noises at Gru until he leaves angrily with the bullhorn. The Minion dressed as Lucy then blasts the other one away with the fire extinguisher'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''At Eduardo's Cinco De Mayo party'']
:'''Edith''': Whoa! This place is awesome!
:'''Gru''': Okay, let's party, huh, but first, let's go over the rules, because, what is fun without the rules? Agnes, easy on the churros. Edith, try not to kill anyone.
:'''Edith''': [''sincerely''] Hai.
:'''Gru''': [''sees Margo meeting Antonio''] Margo...
:'''Antonio''': Hello, Mr. Gru.
:'''Gru''': [''groans in disgust''] Okay. [''pulls Antonio and Margo from each other'']
:'''Margo''': [''angry''] Gru!
:'''Gru''': There must be the standard six foot of space between you and boys, [''referring to Antonio''] especially this boy... [''surprised to see Antonio is again beside Margo'']
:'''Antonio''': [''laughs behind Gru''] Ah, you are a funny man. There are no rules, senor. It's Cinco de Mayo. [''to the girls''] Come on! They're starting to dance.
:'''Agnes''': A''rrrrrrrrrr''iba!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eduardo''': [''chuckles''] So glad that you could make it, mi compadré! [''Noticing him, Gru looks up and hides Lucy's lipstick taser''] Hey, what’s wrong?
:'''Gru''': Oh, nothing. Nothing is wrong. I’m just chilling with the guac from my chip hat. [''takes a bite of his hat, smiling nervously'']
:'''Eduardo''': Gru, please. I know that look all too well. [''lightly touches Gru’s chest''] It is the look of a broken heart.
:'''Gru''': How did you know?
:'''Eduardo''': Believe me, my friend. I too have spent many nights trying to drown my sorrows in guacamole. 
:'''Gru''': You?
:'''Eduardo''': Yes. [''grabs a chair and sits down''] But we are survivors. There is much more to us than meets the eye, hmm? [''gives Gru a mysterious smile''] Enjoy the party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''When on the plane to Australia, Lucy sighs, feeling heartbroken about leaving Gru and decides to read a flight magazine. When reading it, she suddenly sees Gru'']
:'''Lucy''': [''confused''] Say what? [''snaps out of her hallucination, then looks in the magazine again, revealing a regular pilot. She flips the page, but gasps once seeing Gru. Lucy hastily shuts the magazine, then opens it again, now revealing a muscular man diving'']
:'''Stewardess''': [''approaches Lucy''] Would you like some peanuts or pretzels? [''Lucy gasps in astonishment and sees her as Gru. She suddenly hears a passenger laughing like Gru'']
:'''Passenger''': That’s a good joke. [''Lucy looks behind her and sees a mother holding a baby, both looking like Gru'']
:'''Baby''': I just did a boom.
:[''Lucy gasps in horror'']
:'''Stewardess''': I really need you to make a choice, hon.
:'''Lucy''': [''to herself; happily''] I choose Gru. [''to the stewardess''] I! Choose! Gru! [''everyone cheers on her while Lucy gets out of her seat and opens the emergency hatch of the plane''] Thank you, Gru-stewardess! [''jumps out of the plane'']
:'''Stewardess''': [''waves at Lucy''] You're welcome!
:[''Diving through the air, Lucy unfolds her purse into a hang glider, para-sailing on her way to Eduardo's mansion in search for Gru'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''in El Macho’s lair'']
:'''El Macho''': [''appears behind Gru''] You have not lost your touch, my friend.
:'''Gru''': Aha! I knew it! You ''are'' El Macho!
:'''El Macho''': That’s right!
:'''Gru''': [''eager''] Nobody believed me! Ho ho! But I knew you weren't dead!
:'''El Macho''': [''laughing''] Of course not. I merely faked my death! [''chuckles''] But now, it’s time for me to make a spectacular return to evil! Doctor, I think it’s time we showed Gru what we’re up to here.
:'''Gru''': Doctor Nefario?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Nice to see you, Gru.
:'''Gru''': Whaaa? This— so this is your new job opportunity?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Absolutely. You’re gonna like this. [''presses a button, revealing a purple Kevin strapped to a chair'']
:'''El Macho''': Sorry. I had to borrow some of your Minions, but it was for a worthy cause.
:'''Gru''': Oh! Kevin? [''tries to approach Kevin, but repels with disgust''] Ugh!
:'''El Macho''': No! He's not Kevin anymore! Now he's an indestructible, mindless, killing machine!
:'''Kevin''': BLAUGH!
:'''El Macho''': [''jumps in fear, but quickly recovers''] Just watch this. [''presses a button'']
:'''Kevin''': [''a machine gun descends and sprays him with bullets''] BLAUGH! [ ''a flamethrower descends''] BLAUGH! [''it sprays him with flame. An axe descends and hits him over the head, he jumps up and eats it. A bomb falls and he swallows it, exploding harmlessly inside him. A police car, siren running, falls on him. He eats it in six bites''] BLAUGH!
:'''El Macho''': And here's the best part, I got an army of them! [''some lights turn on, revealing hundreds of cages full of evil minions; Gru receives a horrified look on his face once seeing them''] Soon I will unleash them on the world! And if anyone, anyone tries to stop them, YEOW! Their city gets eaten. [''pause''] We can do it together!
:'''Gru''': Together?
:'''El Macho''': Together! I have admired your work for years, amigo! Stealing the moon?! [''yanking on Gru's scarf''] Are you kidding?! We would be unstoppable! Men like you, men like me, we should be ruling the world! [''excitedly''] So, are you in?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''holding a noisemaker''] Woo-hoo!
:'''Gru''': Uh...yeah...probably...
:'''El Macho''': [''confused''] Probably?
:'''Gru''': [''stepping backwards''] I mean, yes! Yes. Of course, yes, I just have a lot going on right now...I just need to get some things off my plate before we start taking over the world, that’s all.
:'''El Macho''': ‘Scuse me?
:'''Gru''': No—forget it! One hundred percent! I am in! [''pretending''] I think—what is—do you hear that— I do. That’s Agnes calling me from on the surf— [''steps into the elevator which closes, but immediately opens again; hastily pressing a button''] Totally in! [''the elevator closes'']
:'''El Macho''': [''suspicious''] You know what? I am not so convinced that he is in. [''presses a button, releasing Kevin'']
:'''Kevin''': BLAUGH!
:[''Back upstairs, Edith, who’s blindfolded, lightly touches the piñata with a baseball bat, finally smacking it into pieces, revealing candy on the ground'']
:'''Gru''': Edith! Agnes! Come on! [''Edith accidentally hits him in the head with a baseball bat''] Ooof!
:'''Edith''': [''takes off her blindfold''] Sorry.
:'''Gru''': We need to go home now! Where’s Margo?
:'''Agnes''': But I didn’t get a turn!
:[''Meanwhile, a depressed Margo is sitting alone, eating a guacamole sombero'']
:'''Gru''': Margo! [''approaches her with Edith and Agnes''] Come on, we're leav... Hey, what’s wrong?
:'''Margo''': [''disappointed''] I hate boys.
:[''It is revealed that Antonio is dancing with another girl'']
:'''Gru''': [''referring to boys''] Yes, they stink. Look sorry, honey, we have to leave. [''sends Margo away and comes back to screen, then angrily shoots his freeze ray at Antonio for leaving Margo heartbroken without saying anything'']

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''When Lucy tries to defend herself from Pollito, it is revealed that he is pecking at her purse'']
:'''Eduardo''': [''off-screen''] Pollito! What’s the matter? [''appears and picks up Pollito, petting him'']
:'''Lucy''': Oh, hey! Eduardo!
:'''Eduardo''': Lucia! I apologize. Pollito, he’s not usually like this. The same thing happened the other day with... with Gru and...
:'''Lucy''': Oh, speaking of Gru...uh, have you seen him? I really need to talk to him.
:'''Eduardo''': Yes, I think he’s around here somewhere. You two are close, no?
:'''Lucy''': Oh, I don’t know. I mean close... I wouldn’t say we were “close”. Why, did he say we were close? Did he say that?
:'''Eduardo''': It’s more than what he didn’t say. For instance, he never mentioned... [''turns Pollito around, who’s holding Lucy’s AVL credentials in his beak''] that you were both working for the Anti-Villain League! [''Lucy gasps in horror; grabs Lucy tightly''] You’re coming with me. [''yanks her away'']
:'''Lucy''': Hey!
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''holding a Mexican flag cupcake and a drink; shocked''] Crikey!
:[''Meanwhile, the Grus got back home from the Cinco De Mayo party'']
:'''Edith''': So Eduardo's actually El Macho? Cool!
:'''Gru''': No, it is not cool. [''closes the curtains''] Plus, I pretty much knew it was him all along, so if anyone's cool, it's me.
:[''the television beeps, revealing Dr. Nefario hiding under a table'']
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''by intercom''] Gru!
:'''Gru''': Well, Dr. Nefario.
:'''Dr. Nefario''': El Macho's on to you. He knows you're working for the AVL. And he's got your partner!
:'''Gru''': Lucy? Wha— that's impossible! She's on her way to Australia...
:'''El Macho''': Nefario?
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Sorry, gotta go!
:[''The intercom turns off'']
:'''Agnes''': [''gasps; referring to El Macho; worried''] He's got Lucy?
:'''Gru''': Not for long. Come on. We're getting her out of there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''Margo and Agnes are playing a board game when they suddenly hear Evil Kevin and Kyle'']
:'''Agnes''': [''startled''] What was that?
:'''Margo''': [''gets up, walks slowly to the window and opens the curtains; the somewhat scared Agnes holds her unicorn''] I don't see anything.
:[''But then, Margo sees Evil Kevin, screaming in horror as she closes the curtains. The Evil Kevin breaks the glass, causing Margo to run to Agnes. Evil Kevin falls on the floor with the curtains and he looks back to Margo and Agnes, holding her unicorn, then screams and runs towards them'']
:'''Margo''': [''screams''] Run!
:'''Agnes''': [''accidentally drops her unicorn, which ends up in Evil Kevin's jaws''] My unicorn!
:'''Margo''': [''off-screen''] Agnes, no!
:[''Evil Kevin tries to eat the unicorn, but Agnes, shocked in terror, starts screaming so loud that not only forced Evil Kevin to spit out the unicorn and starting to scream, but also Margo to cover her ears, and breaking everything, from a bust of Gru's mother to Kevin's goggles. Agnes stops screaming, gently walks to and grabs her unicorn and runs to the hallway. Margo looks back to Evil Kevin before pressing the button on Gru's rhino chair, revealing the elevator.]
:'''Kevin''': BAH DEE, BAH DEE!!
:[Margo and Agnes scream in horror as the still blind Evil Kevin approaches them until the elevator closes Evil Kevin bumps his head as the elevator goes down. Meanwhile, in Gru's lab, a dozen Minions while Edith and a Minion are playing ping-pong'']
:'''Margo''': Come on! Hurry!
:'''Agnes''': Move!
:[''Margo closes the door''] 
:'''Edith''': [''stops playing ping-pong''] What's the matter?
:[''But suddenly, Evil Kevin submerges from the ground floor, collapsing on a pile of steel bars which fall onto a sofa before trying to attack the girls; Edith swings her nun-chucks, attempting to protect her siblings, but before Kevin could devour them, a hypodermic needle is injected in his back, rendering Kevin back to normal'']
:'''Kevin''': Ooh-la-la! [''sits up''] um, picatos?
:'''Agnes''': Kevin!
:'''Minions''': Kevin! [''dog pile him'']
:'''Margo''': Dr. Nefario, you’re back!
:'''Dr. Nefario''': In the flesh! Behold... [''reveals an Erlenmeyer flask filled with a yellow substance''] the antidote! [''heads towards the jelly containers''] Come on, let’s put this horrible jelly into some good use!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''after Gru is saved from the evil minions'']
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Hello, Gru!
:'''Gru''': Hey, hey! Nice work, Dr. Nefario! [''leaps onto the ship'']
:'''Dr. Nefario''': I put the antidote in the jelly. [''pause''] I mean, I’m happy to create an evil army and destroy the world. But ''nobody'' messes with my family.
:'''Gru''': Thank you, doctor. [''determined''] Now let’s go get the-! [''suddenly sees his daughters holding jelly guns'']
:'''Agnes''': Hi!
:'''Gru''': You brought the girls?!
:'''Dr. Nefario''': [''excited''] Yes! [''pauses briefly''] Oh, was that wrong?
:[''As soon as the ship flies toward El Macho, the Grus start curing the minions inside his rockets'']
:'''Edith''': [''firing a large jelly Gatling gun''] Woooo! Yeeeaaahhh! 
:'''El Macho''': [''astonished''] What is happening to my Minions? [''pauses''] Gru?
:'''Gru''': You guys take care of the rest of the Minions. I’m going to find Lucy. [''jumps out of the ship, armed with two big jelly guns. The ship lands near the entrance, then the girls and Minions jump out of it, holding and firing their jelly guns at the evil minions.'']
:'''Agnes''': Eat jelly, you purple freaks! [''fires her jelly gun, but goes out of control, yet still capable of neutralizing a dozen minions. Meanwhile, Gru, on the other hand, shoots two evil minions off the roof support at once, then steps on one of the minions’ goggles, shooting the others in a slo-mo Matrix-style. El Macho kicks Evil Tom at Gru, who dodges, then shoots him back to normal with a grim look on his face'']
:'''Gru''': It's over, El Macho. [''aims one of his jelly guns''] Now where is Lucy?
:'''El Macho''': [''chuckles''] Let me show you. [''presses one of the buttons on his control panel, stopping the fountain at the center and revealing Lucy strapped to a rocket, along with a shark and 250 pounds of dynamite. Once seeing her, Gru gasps in horror'']
:'''Lucy''': Oh, hey, Gru! Turns out you were right about the whole El Macho thing, huh? [''mildly''] Yay!
:'''El Macho''': One push of this button, and I send that rocket straight in the same volcano where I faked my death, only this time... It's for real.
:'''Gru''': [''horrified''] No!
:'''Dave''': [''swings on a vine like Tarzan and snatches the remote from El Macho's hands''] Tally ho! [''hits the roof support and drops the remote which hits three minions on their heads and on the ground'']
:'''El Macho''': We could have ruled the world together, Gru! But now... You're gonna die. [''drinks the last of the PX-41 serum. Once he does this, Gru gasps before El Macho suddenly grows into a giant furry purple creature and roars at him. Gru fires the jelly gun, but it is out of ammo. He then pulls out his freeze ray and encases each of El Macho’s fists in ice, but the latter slams his fists into the ground, shattering the ice and knocking Gru off the platform, forcing him to grab hold onto a scaffolding. Unfortunately, the scaffolding tips over and Gru falls on the ground. El Macho jumps off the platform, grabs the scaffolding, attempting to crush Gru, but the latter dodges by rolling before pulling out Lucy’s lipstick taser, hitting the former with it and causing El Macho to electrocute before collapsing on the ground'']
:'''Gru''': [''singing; pointing the weapon to El Macho''] Lipstick ''tazer!''
:'''Lucy''': [''smiling''] Awwww... He copied me.
:[''Gru runs off the save Lucy; El Macho sees Gru's minions aiming their jelly guns at him'']
:'''El Macho''': [''dazed''] I am not afraid of your jelly guns.
:'''Dr. Nefario''': Oh, this ain't a jelly gun, sunshine. [''shoots the Fart Gun at El Macho’s face, rendering him unconscious. Not soon after, the Minions fire their jelly guns in the air, while one of them stands on El Macho, and takes a picture of Dr. Nefario. Meanwhile, Gru runs towards the rocket Lucy is strapped to and starts climbing on it]
:'''Lucy''': [''as Gru is climbing to her; calmly''] Don't worry about me, Gru, I'll be fine. I've survived lots worse than this... Okay, that is not entirely true. [''switches from calmly to frantically''] I'm actually kind of freaking out up here!
:'''Gru''': [''attempting to free her''] Don't worry. I will get you out of this. [''Once they see Pollito near the remote, both Gru and Lucy gasp; Pollito looks at them before pecking the red button on the rocket’s launch remote; grumbling, about Pollito''] I really hate that chicken.
:[''The rocket’s engine ignite, causing the spies to take off into the sky; on land, the Minions and girls see Gru and Lucy take off in horror; as the rocket flies to the volcano, Gru holds himself tightly to the rocket, cutting Lucy free of the ropes using a knife, but once he cuts down the last rope, the dynamite and shark fall off the rocket, but before Lucy falls off, Gru grabs her before he slips off; the shark falls on a table of a sushi bar where the customers and sushi chef cheer. Meanwhile, on the rocket, Lucy holds on to the missile fin while Gru rips one of the panels of the rocket open with his knife, revealing a mess of wires in it'']
:'''Lucy''': Is there a red one? It’s usually the red one! [''Gru puts his knife between his teeth and madly starts pulling the red wire left and right. But even so, the rocket keeps moving; noticing they are approaching the volcano, nervous''] Gru, anytime now!
:'''Gru''': [''gasps the instant he sees the volcano and drops the knife''] Listen, Lucy, we may not get out of this alive. So, I need to ask you a question.
:'''Lucy''': Uh, better make it quick.
:'''Gru''': If I had asked you out on a date, what would you have said?
:'''Lucy''': Are you kidding me?! Yes!
:'''Gru''': [''smiles, then gasps and grabs Lucy''] JUMP!!! [''leaps off the rocket, just seconds before it plunges in the volcano which explodes on impact. Despite their attempts to keep close to each other while falling, the debris and impact of the explosion hits Gru and Lucy, who lose each other's grasp and fall into the water. Gru swims back up, gasping for air; desperately''] Lucy! [''frantically swims around''] Lucy, where are you?! [''a moment later, Lucy swims up behind him, gasping for air; relieved''] Oh... Lucy! [''swims towards her'']
:'''Lucy''': [''eagerly''] Gru! [''hugs him, sending both into the water, then swim back out, gasping for air; trying to keep Gru at a distance; embarrassed''] Sorry! I guess you kind of need your arms to tread water, huh?
:[''Without saying anything to Lucy, realizing his feelings for her, Gru firmly grabs her hand, then gently pulls her closer to him while she puts her free hand on the other shoulder. The two stare at each other, in love. A second later, a rowboat, being rowed by a Minion, encouraged by another sitting on top, shouting “Echo! Echo!” in a bullhorn, passes by to pick up Gru and Lucy, who look at the kayak for a few seconds, but ignore it soon after and stare at each other again'']
:'''Gru''': [''referring to the Minions; calmly''] They’ll be back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[''During Gru and Lucy's wedding'']
:'''Agnes''': [''to herself''] Okay. [''stands on top of the girls' wedding table; to everyone else''] Excuse me? Um, hi, excuse me? [''Margo ticks on her glass with a fork multiple times like a cow bell, attracting everyone's attention to a nervous Agnes''] Uh, [''clears her throat''] Hi, everybody! I'd like to make some toast. Uh... [''looks at Gru'']
:'''Gru''': [''smiles; quietly''] Okay.
:'''Agnes''': [''nervous''] She, um, she kisses my boo-boos, she braids my hair. [''happily''] We love you mothers everywhere, [''turns to her parents''] and my new mom Lucy is beyond compare. [''receives a outstanding ovation'']
:'''Minions''': Aww...
:'''Lucy''': [''impressed and proud''] Aww! [''catches Agnes when she jumps into her arms; not soon after, Edith and Margo come next to Gru and Lucy; Edith gets in Gru's arms''] 
:'''Agnes''': To the bride and Gru!

== About ''Despicable Me 2'' ==

* [For the sequel] they pitched me the main character falling in love and eventually marrying at the end, and I just plainly hated the idea. I don’t know if that’s my European cynical side. They said that, ‘We’ll try it out with the marriage and once we get the marriage working, we’ll try to find other ways to do it without having a marriage,’ so they did make the effort of doing it our way—Chris and mine—of trying to not have the marriage and not to have this very corny ending.
** [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] in [http://www.cartoonbrew.com/award-season-focus/directors-chris-renaud-and-pierre-coffin-on-creative-choices-and-challenges-in-despicable-me-films-93702.html &quot;Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films&quot;] by C. Edwards, ''Cartoon Brew'', 01/03/2014.

==Taglines==
* More minions, more despicable.
* Back 2 work
* When the world needed a hero, they called a villain.
* Intelligent and curious (American Margo tagline who is dressed as a female knight)
* Tender and funny (American Agnes tagline who is dressed in a unicorn)
* Annoying and lethal (American Edith tagline who is dressed as a ninja)
* The spy who loved her (International Gru and Lucy tagline)
* On July 3... back 2 work.
* New mission, new partner (International &quot;New Mission&quot; TV spot tagline)
* Has Gru gone soft? (International &quot;Gone Soft&quot; TV spot tagline)
* New mission, new partner and more minions (International &quot;Triple Trouble&quot; TV spot tagline&quot;)
* On July 3, don't be a chicken (Canadian &quot;Don't Be A Chicken&quot; TV spot tagline)
* July 3, every dad can be a hero (American &quot;Happy Father's Day&quot; TV spot tagline)
* June 28/July 3... from Illumination Entertainment (International/American &quot;Fire Alarm&quot; TV spot tagline)
* On July 3, celebrate the red, the white and the Gru (American &quot;Celebrate&quot; TV spot tagline)
* From the Creators of Hop &amp; Dr Seuss The Lorax

==Voice Cast==
* [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]] — Felonious Gru
* [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] — Agent Lucy Wilde
* [[w:Steve Coogan|Steve Coogan]] — Silas Ramsbottom
* [[w:Benjamin Bratt|Benjamin Bratt]] — Eduardo Perez/El Macho
* [[w:Miranda Cosgrove|Miranda Cosgrove]] — Margo Gru
* [[w:Elsie Fisher|Elsie Fisher]] — Agnes Gru
* [[w:Dana Gaier|Dana Gaier]] — Edith Gru
* [[Russell Brand]] — Doctor Nefario
* [[w:Moisés Arias|Moisés Arias]] — Antonio Perez
* [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] — Floyd Eaglesan
* [[w:Nasim Pedrad|Nasim Pedrad]] — Jillian
* [[w:Kristen Schaal|Kristen Schaal]] — Shannon
* [[w:Pierre Coffin|Pierre Coffin]] — Kevin, Bob, Stuart, Additional and Evil Minions
* [[w:Chris Renaud|Chris Renaud]] — Additional and Evil Minions, Italian waiter
* [[w:Nickolai Stoilov|Nickolai Stoilov]] — Arctic Lab Guards
* [[w:Vanessa Bayer|Vanessa Bayer]] — Flight Attendant

==External links==
{{wikipedia-inline|Despicable Me 2|''Despicable Me 2''}}

{{Despicable Me}}

[[Category:2013 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Spy films]]
[[Category:Films set in California]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Muppets (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>148690</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154659</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:27:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      <text bytes="7033" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Muppets (film)|The Muppets]]''''' is a 2011 live-action musical comedy film starring {{w|Jason Segel}}, {{w|Amy Adams}}, Chris Cooper, Rashida Jones, with {{w|Steve Whitmire}}, Eric Jacobson, and {{w|Peter Linz}}.

:''Directed by [[w:James Bobin|James Bobin]]. Produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman. Written by Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller.''

{{film-stub}}

==Dialogue==
:''[Gary had shown up after the dance number]''
:'''Gary''': Sorry. I was super excited.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': I just thought maybe we could raise the money to buy the theater back if we all got together and put on one last show.
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': A show? But I've spent years building a solo career! I have a whole new show-biz family that loves me--
:'''Miss Poogy''': ''[opens the door]'' Fozzie! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, HIBERNATIN'?! NEXT SHOW STARTS IN 30 SECONDS! We hired you, and WE CAN FIRE YOU, SO GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE '''NOW!''' ''[slams the door]''
:'''[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]]''': ''[to Kermit]'' They terrify me. Let's go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kermit had just convinced Animal to drum again]''
:'''[[w:Animal (Muppet)|Animal]]''': In control.
:'''[[Jack Black]]''': Good. I'm Animal's court-appointed sponsor. We don't use the D-R-U-M word. It's his trigger word.
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': His &quot;trigger word&quot;?
:'''Gary''': Excuse me, Mr. Black. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but it's very important that these guys get their drummer-- ''[Jack Black punches Gary]''
:'''[[w:Walter (Muppet)|Walter]]''': Gary!
:'''[[Jack Black]]''': It's my trigger word, too.
:'''Moderator''': Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday.
:'''[[Jack Black]]''': Tuesday's another one of my TRIGGER WORDS! ''[punches a classmate]''
:'''Moderator''': I DON'T THINK SO! ''[punches Jack Black]'' Sorry.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Hosting a political news segment]''
:'''[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]]''': Welcome to this week's edition of &quot;Everything Stinks&quot;! ''[the other Muppets pull him offscreen with a hooked cane, Vaudeville style]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tex and Uncle Deadly are atop the Muppet Theater with a pair of boltcutters about to shut off the power]''
:'''Tex Richman''': To the end of the Muppets! ''[Uncle Deadly grabs the boltcutters to stop Tex]'' Deadly! What are you doing?!
:'''[[w:Uncle Deadly (Muppet)|Uncle Deadly]]''': Enough! Just because I have a terrifying name, and an evil English accent, does ''not'' preclude the fact that in my heart, I am a Muppet, not a Moopet! Looks like it's I who will have the last laugh!
:'''Tex Richman''': What does that mean?!
:'''[[w:Uncle Deadly (Muppet)|Uncle Deadly]]''': It's an ''idiom'', you ''idiot!'' Because you cannot laugh! Ha ha! ''[Tex falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a thud]'' Oopsie! ''[he laughs maniacally]''
:'''Tex Richman''': Deadly...
:'''[[w:Uncle Deadly (Muppet)|Uncle Deadly]]''': Now ''that's'' a maniacal laugh for you!

:'''Tex Richman''': ''[Angrily]'' You artists formerly known as the Muppets are standing on private property--''My'' private property! And ''I'm'' telling you to leave, '''NOW!''' ''[The Muppets Gasp]''
:'''Kermit''': ''[Sadly]'' He's right, everybody. He won. We gotta go. ''[As The Muppets Slowly Walk Away, Tex Richman Sighs In Disbelief]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gary''': Look, Walter, you're my brother, and I'm always gonna love you, but you belong here, with these guys. You're the one who brought everyone here together. You always believe in other people, but that’s easy. Sooner or later, you gotta believe in yourself, too, because that’s what growing up is. It’s becoming who you want to be. You have to try. Please, Walter. You’re my hero.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Deleted Scene -- As The Door Closes, Tex Richman Smiles And Laughs Evilly]'' 
:'''Tex Richman''': Tex Richman Is Back In Town, Folks! ''[The Crowd Boos And Yells At Him]'' OH, BOO YOURSELF! ''[The Crowd Stops Booing]'' You're Lucky I Got On The Act! ''[The Crowd Continues Booing And Throwing Food At Himself]'' Hey, I Had These Clothes Washed! ''[Someone Else Throws Food At Him]'' Hey! Stop It! ''[The Crowd Throws Food At Him At Once]'' STOP IT! ''[Screams And Runs Away]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Wayne and Wanda are caught making out]''
:'''Jade Green Frackle''': Ahem. ''[The couple stop kissing and turn to look at the small group of Muppets staring at them]''
:'''Wayne''': Oh! ''[He and Wanda start doing vocal warmups to cover up their act]'' La la la la la la la...
:'''Wanda''': Mee mee mee mee mee...

==Cast==
* [[w:Jason Segel|Jason Segel]] as Gary
* [[w:Amy Adams|Amy Adams]] as Mary
* [[w:Chris Cooper|Chris Cooper]] as Tex Richman
* [[w:Rashida Jones|Rashida Jones]] as Veronica Martin (credited as C.D.A. Executive)

===Muppet performers===
* [[w:Steve Whitmire|Steve Whitmire]] as [[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]], [[w:Beaker (Muppet)|Beaker]], [[w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler]], [[w:Rizzo the Rat|Rizzo the Rat]], [[w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob]], [[w:The Muppet Newsman|The Muppet Newsman]], [[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Lips|Lips]]
* [[w:Eric Jacobson|Eric Jacobson]] as [[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]], [[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]], [[w:Animal (Muppet)|Animal]], [[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]], [[w:Marvin Suggs|Marvin Suggs]]
* [[w:Dave Goelz|Dave Goelz]] as [[w:The Great Gonzo|Gonzo]], [[w:Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]], [[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Zoot|Zoot]], [[w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard]], [[w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf]], Kermit Moopet
* [[w:Bill Barretta|Bill Barretta]] as [[w:Swedish Chef|The Swedish Chef]], [[w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog]], [[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth]], [[w:Pepe the King Prawn|Pepe the King Prawn]], [[w:Bobo the Bear|Bobo the Bear]], [[w:Beautiful Day Monster|Beautiful Day Monster]], [[w:Mah Nà Mah Nà|Mahna Mahna]], Behemoth, Fozzie Moopet, Muppet Gary, [[w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot]] Hobo
* [[w:David Rudman|David Rudman]] as [[w:Scooter (Muppet)|Scooter]], [[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Janice|Janice]], Miss Poogy, Wayne, Nigel the Conductor, Bobby Benson
* [[w:Matt Vogel (puppeteer)|Matt Vogel]] as [[w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]], [[w:Camilla the Chicken|Camilla the Chicken]], [[w:Sweetums|Sweetums]], [[w:'80s Robot|'80s Robot]], [[w:Lew Zeland|Lew Zeland]], [[w:Uncle Deadly (Muppet)|Uncle Deadly]], [[w:Crazy Harry|Crazy Harry]], Rowlf Moopet 
* [[w:Peter Linz|Peter Linz]] as [[w:Walter (Muppet)|Walter]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Muppets (film), The}}
[[Category:2011 films]]
[[Category:American children's comedy films]]
[[Category:Children's musical films]]
[[Category:Musical comedy films]]
[[Category:Road films]]
[[Category:The Muppets films]]
[[Category:Films set in Paris]]
[[Category:Films set in Los Angeles]]
[[Category:Films set in Nevada]]
[[Category:Films directed by James Bobin]]
[[Category:Films set in a theatre]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Virginia</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>151798</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154546</id>
      <parentid>3154488</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:45:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="55294" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag_of_Virginia.svg|thumb|All men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights... they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety. ~ [[w:Virginia Declaration of Rights|''Virginia Declaration of Rights'']]]]
The '''[[w:Virginia|Commonwealth of Virginia]]''', also known as '''Virginia''', '''V-A''', or simply '''the Commonwealth''', is a [[w:U.S. state|U.S. state]] located in the [[w:South Atlantic States|South Atlantic region]] of the contiguous [[United States|United States of America]]. Virginia is nicknamed the &quot;Old Dominion&quot; due to its status as a former dominion of [[w:Kingdom of Great Britain|Great Britain]] and &quot;Mother of Presidents&quot; due to [[w:List of Presidents of the United States by home state#Places of birth|many U.S. presidents]] having been born there.
&lt;center&gt;'''''Sic semper tyrannis'' (thus always to tyrants)'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Motto|motto]])&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/center&gt;
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== Quotes ==
[[File:Seal of Virginia.svg|thumb|Virginia is for lovers. ~ [[w:David N. Martin|David Martin]]]]
[[File:Douthat Lake Douthat State Park Virginia USA.jpg|thumb|Douthat Lake at Douthat State Park, Millboro, VA]]
[[File:Bear Creek Lake (9669510311).jpg|thumb|Bear Creek Lake at Bear Creek Lake State Park, Cumberland, VA]]
[[File:BC FR 001croppd (16822686946).jpg|thumb|Road in Bear Creek Lake State Park, Cumberland, VA]]
[[File:A Day By the Lake (31878341400).jpg|thumb|[[w:Douthat State Park|Douthat State Park]] was the first Virginia state park my family ever visited... We remember thinking that Virginians were very hospitable; we imagined it was the world-famous southern hospitality at work. It wasn't exactly what we had encountered growing up in northeast Ohio, where the pace of life seemed much faster and people were less considerate. ~ P.M. Elton]]
[[File:POBeaverLakeObservationDeck (15653088505).jpg|thumb|Virginia puts on her prettiest colors to greet the seasons. In the fall, the colors of the leaves are lemon yellow, pumpkin gold, watermelon red, rusty oak, vermillion maple, burnt orange, and dusty green, and no two trees are the same. ~ Earl Hamner, Jr.]]
[[File:St Christopher&amp;#039;s School Richmond VA.JPG|thumb|Chamberlayne Hall at St. Christopher's School in Richmond, VA]]
[[File:The Governor&amp;#039;s Palace -- Williamsburg (VA) September 2012.jpg|thumb|On the whole, I find nothing anywhere else... which Virginia need envy. ~ [[Thomas Jefferson]]]]
[[File:Venable Hall HSC.JPG|thumb|Venable Hall at Hampden-Sydney College in Hampden-Sydney, VA]]
[[File:Langley High School.jpg|thumb|The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers and New Englanders are no more. I am not a Virginian, but an American. ~ [[Patrick Henry]]]]
[[File:Cabin road (6105921979).jpg|thumb|Cabin road in First Landing State Park, Virginia Beach, VA]]
[[File:Rotunda-dusk.jpg|thumb|The Rotunda at the University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA]]
[[File:The Official State Visit of France (27831282458).jpg|thumb|Virginia was the first state which instructed her delegates to declare the colonies independent. She braved all dangers. From Quebec to Boston, and from Boston to Savannah, Virginia shed the blood of her sons. No imputation then can be cast upon her in this matter. ~ [[James Monroe]]]]
[[File:ArlingtonCemetery.jpg|thumb|We must remember the Commonwealth's past mistakes in order to prevent them from recurring. ~ [[w:Mark Warner|Mark Warner]]]]
[[File:Jepson School of Leadership Studies.jpg|thumb|Jepson Hall at the University of Richmond, Richmond, VA]]
[[File:Monticello_2010-10-29.jpg|thumb|Modern Virginians departed from the teachings of the [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|Fathers]]. ~ [[John S. Mosby|John Mosby]]]]
[[File:The_Pentagon_US_Department_of_Defense_building.jpg|thumb|The true purpose of all government is to promote the welfare and provide for the protection and security of the governed, and when any form or organization of government proves inadequate for, or subversive of this purpose, it is the right, it is the duty of the latter to alter or abolish it. The Bill of Rights of Virginia, framed in 1776, reaffirmed in 1860, and again in 1851, expressly reserves this right to the majority of her people, and the existing constitution does not confer upon the General Assembly the power to call a Convention to alter its provisions, or to change the relations of the Commonwealth, without the previously expressed consent of such majority. ~ [https://web.archive.org/web/20030314033146/http://www.wvculture.org/history/statehood/declaration.html ''Declaration of the People of Virginia Represented in Convention at Wheeling'']]]
[[File:Virginia secession vote.jpg|thumb|The Convention thus called has not only abused the powers nominally entrusted to it, but, with the connivance and active aid of the executive, has usurped and exercised other powers, to the manifest injury of the people, which, if permitted, will inevitably subject them to a military despotism. ~ [https://web.archive.org/web/20030314033146/http://www.wvculture.org/history/statehood/declaration.html ''Declaration of the People of Virginia Represented in Convention at Wheeling'']]]
[[File:Rose-Hill-view-va.jpg|thumb|Mountains near Rose Hill in Lee County]]
[[File:Flag of Virginia (1861).svg|thumb|Christian quotes what the old Virginians said against slavery. True, but why didn't he quote what the modern Virginians said in favor of it? Mason, Hunter, Wise, etc. Why didn't he state that a Virginia senator, Mason, was the author of the Fugitive Slave Law, and why didn't he quote ''The Virginia Code'' that made it a crime to speak against slavery? ~ [[John S. Mosby]]]]

===A===
&lt;!--*Of course, there were many reasons that white classification in 20th century Virginia was extremely beneficial. It meant access to better schools, homes. It meant, essentially, freedom.
**Mikaela Adams, as quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/how-a-long-dead-white-supremacist-still-threatens-the-future-of-virginias-indian-tribes/2015/06/30/81be95f8-0fa4-11e5-adec-e82f8395c032_story.html ''The Washington Post''] (30 June 2015)--&gt;
*The decision came from what seemed to many white Virginians the unavoidable logic of the situation. Virginia was a slave state; [[Republican Party (United States)|the Republicans]] had announced their intention of limiting [[slavery]]. [[Slavery]] was protected by the sovereignty of the state.
**[[w:Edward L. Ayers|Edward Ayers]], [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0393326012 ''In the Presence of Mine Enemies: The Civil War in the Heart of America 1859-1863''] (2003), p. 141

===B===
* They could be thinking: 'This is perhaps the second time in a month that people associated with the Tea Party have really hurt us and we need to rethink things'. At some point, the national Republican party needs to decide: 'Are we going to be a majority party or go to the right, stake out that ground and maybe never hold national office again.
** Craig Brians, as quoted in ''BBC News'', [http://wwwnews.live.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24751202 &quot;Five reasons why the Virginia governor's race matters&quot;] (4 November 2013), ''BBC''

* ''“Virginia?”'' he said, as if I had asked him if there was anywhere local we could get a dose of syphilis.
** [[Bill Bryson]], ''[[w:A Walk in the Woods (book)|A Walk in the Woods]]'' (1997), Chapter 8

* &lt;p&gt;Our nation is shocked and saddened by the news of the shootings at Virginia Tech today...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Schools should be places of safety, and sanctuary, and learning. When that sanctuary is violated, the impact is felt in every American classroom and every American community. Today our nation grieves with those who have lost loved ones at Virginia Tech. We hold the victims in our hearts; we lift them up in our prayers; and we ask a loving God to comfort those who are suffering today...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Laura and I have come to Blacksburg today with hearts full of sorrow. This is a day of mourning for the Virginia Tech community -- and it is a day of sadness for our entire nation. We've come to express our sympathy. In this time of anguish, I hope you know that people all over this country are thinking about you, and asking God to provide comfort for all who have been affected.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yesterday began like any other day. Students woke up, and they grabbed their backpacks and they headed for class. And soon the day took a dark turn, with students and faculty barricading themselves in classrooms and dormitories -- confused, terrified, and deeply worried. By the end of the morning, it was the worst day of violence on a college campus in American history -- and for many of you here today, it was the worst day of your lives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It's impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they're gone -- and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates, and a grieving nation.&lt;/p&gt;
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9603915 statement on the massacre at Virginia Tech University from the Diplomatic Room of the White House] (17 April 2007)

===C===
* Carry me back to old Virginia; there let me live 'till I wither and decay.
** [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/07/28/dont-sing-along-with-susan-hathaway/#comment-48444 &quot;Carry Me Back to Old Virginny&quot;], former state song of Virginia

* The prevailing Notion now is to Continue the most abject State of Slavery in this Common-Wealth...
** [[w:Robert Carter III|Robert Carter]], [http://www.brown.edu/Administration/News_Bureau/Databases/Encyclopedia/search.php?serial=M0100 letter to James Manning] (1786)

* H to the izz-o, v to the izz-a. For shizzle my nizzle, used to dribble down in VA.
** [[w:Jay-Z|Shawn Carter]], &quot;[[w:Izzo (H.O.V.A.)|Izzo]]&quot; (2001), ''The Blueprint''

* That all men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights, of which, when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety.
** [http://constitution.legis.virginia.gov/ Constitution of the Commonwealth of Virginia] (1971)

* In 1640, the very first gun control law ever enacted on these shores was passed in Virginia. It provided that blacks, even freemen, could not own guns.
** [[w:Ann Coulter|Ann Coulter]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20120503013852/http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2012-04-18.html &quot;Negroes With Guns&quot;] (18 April 2012), ''Ann Coulter''

* I am no more a child, but a man; no longer a confederacy, but a nation. I am no more Virginia, New York, Carolina, or Massachusetts, but the United States of America.
** [[George William Curtis]], [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865)

===D===
* The true purpose of all government is to promote the welfare and provide for the protection and security of the governed, and when any form or organization of government proves inadequate for, or subversive of this purpose, it is the right, it is the duty of the latter to alter or abolish it. The [[w:Virginia Declaration of Rights|Bill of Rights of Virginia]], framed in 1776, reaffirmed in 1860, and again in 1851, expressly reserves this right to the majority of her people, and the existing constitution does not confer upon the [[w:Virginia General Assembly|General Assembly]] the power to call a Convention to alter its provisions, or to change the relations of the Commonwealth, without the previously expressed consent of such majority. The act of the General Assembly, calling the Convention which assembled at Richmond in February last, was therefore a usurpation; and the Convention thus called has not only abused the powers nominally entrusted to it, but, with the connivance and active aid of the executive, has usurped and exercised other powers, to the manifest injury of the people, which, if permitted, will inevitably subject them to a military despotism.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20030314033146/http://www.wvculture.org/history/statehood/declaration.html ''Declaration of the People of Virginia Represented in Convention at Wheeling''] (13 June 1861)

* We, therefore the delegates here assembled in Convention to devise such measures and take such action as the safety and welfare of the loyal citizens of Virginia may demand, having mutually considered the premises, and viewing with great concern, the deplorable condition to which this once happy Commonwealth must be reduced, unless some regular adequate remedy is speedily adopted, and appealing to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for the rectitude of our intentions, do hereby, in the name and on the behalf of the good people of Virginia, solemnly declare, that the preservation of their dearest rights and liberties and their security in person and property, imperatively demand the reorganization of the government of the Commonwealth, and that all acts of said Convention and Executive, tending to separate this Commonwealth from the United States, or to levy and carry on war against them, are without authority and void; and the offices of all who adhere to the said Convention and Executive, whether legislative, executive or judicial, are vacated.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20030314033146/http://www.wvculture.org/history/statehood/declaration.html ''Declaration of the People of Virginia Represented in Convention at Wheeling''] (13 June 1861)

===E===

* [[w:Douthat State Park|Douthat State Park]] was the first Virginia state park my family ever visited. The year was 1986 and our boys were two and five years old. We camped in a small tent in a beautiful lakeside site with a panoramic view of Douthat Lake. That first visit was a fun and inspiration one and we were camped next to an older couple from [[w:Christiansburg, Virginia|Christiansburg]]. They took an interest in our boys and shared with us homemade jam and local honey. We remember thinking that Virginians were very hospitable; we imagined it was the world-famous southern hospitality at work. It wasn't exactly what we had encountered growing up in northeast Ohio, where the pace of life seemed much faster and people were less considerate.
** P.M. Elton, ''Ghostly Tales of Virginia State Parks'' (2015), p. 40

* Douthat was also one of the first parks to offer electricity to its customers. The first cabins had a coin-activated system: put in a dime, turn the knob and the power was on, and the lights showcased the beautiful timber-and-stone craftsmanship. This would have been a pretty amazing experience for many people in the 1930s. Some areas of the Commonwealth didn't get electric power until after [[World War II]]. Originally the power came from a local hydroelectric project, one of the first in the region.
** P.M. Elton, ''Ghostly Tales of Virginia State Parks'' (2015), p. 42

* [[w:Hungry Mother State Park|Hungry Mother State Park]] was officially announced as Southwest Virginia State Park, but somehow the original name stuck, despite the protests of the local citizenry. Author Mack H. Sturgill has painstakingly detailed the history and development of Hungry Mother State Park. After considerable research, Mr. Sturgill is of the belief that the park name was a publicity stunt created by slightly inebriated men who devised a public relations campaign to enhance the local economy. In Sturgill's words, &quot;The naming of the park and the accompanying legend seems to be a case of putting an old tale in a new bottle with a provocative label.&quot; Marketing ploy or not, the famed name (and its corresponding legend) lives on today.
** P.M. Elton, ''Ghostly Tales of Virginia State Parks'' (2015), p. 55

===G===
*The spirit of liberty that had been so invigorated by the events of the 1770s did manifest itself in a number of important measures affecting the status of America's slaves. In 1777 the constitution for the new state of Vermont completely abolished slavery, and Massachusetts soon followed suit. Many other Northern states, such as Pennsylvania in 1780, adopted legislation aimed at gradual emancipation during this period, although it was not until 1804 that New Jersey finally enacted a similar law. Not surprisingly, in the South anti-slavery gains were much more modest. But three Southern states, including Virginia in 1782, passed laws that made it possible for owners to manumit their slaves. It was the provisions of this law that Washington had to respect in formulating the manumission plan outlined in his will.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20080401121447/http://www.historynet.com/george-washington-his-troubles-with-slavery.htm &quot;George Washington: His Troubles With Slavery&quot;] (12 June 2006), ''HistoryNet''.

*Sir, the great question which is now uprooting this Government to its foundation, the great question which underlies all our deliberations here, is the question of African slavery.
**[[w:Thomas F. Goode|Thomas Goode]], speech to the Virginia Secession Convention (28 March 1861), volume II, p. 518.

*April 7, 1865. General [[Robert E. Lee|R. E. Lee]], the result of the last week must convince you of the hopelessness of further resistance on the part of the Army of Northern Virginia in this struggle. I feel that it is so, and regard it as my duty to shift from myself the responsibility of any further effusion of blood, by asking of you the surrender of that portion of the C.S. Army known as the Army of Northern Virginia. U.S. Grant, Lieutenant-General.
**[[Ulysses S. Grant]], [https://www.facebook.com/SUVCW/posts/783255298389995 letter to Robert E. Lee] (7 April 1865).&lt;!--http://news.investors.com/management-leaders-and-success/040815-746932-ulysses-grant-won-war-and-peace.htm?ven=rss&amp;p=2--&gt;

* Incontestably what runs Virginia is the Byrd machine, the most urbane and genteel dictatorship in America. A real machine it is, though Senator [[w:Harry Flood Byrd|Harry Flood Byrd]] himself faced more opposition in 1946 than at any time in his long, suave, and distinguished public career. Virginia is, of course, &quot;the mother of states&quot;; it is one of four in the union to call itself a commonwealth, and it has produced eight presidents, more than any other state. Its history goes back to Jamestown, the first Anglo-Saxon settlement in America, in 1607; the colony was named for Elizabeth, the virgin queen, and its citizens established an effective representative government several years before the [[w:Puritans|Puritans]] in New England. Ever since it has prided itself on aristocratic tradition, a seasoned attitude toward public life, administrative decency, and firm attachment to the regime of law. Virginia breeds no [[Huey Long]]s or [[w:Herman Talmadge|Talmadges]]; its respect for the forms of order is deeply engrained. One subsidiary point is that Virginians, it seems, were not so philoprogenitive as their New England counterparts. Boston, as we know, choked with [[w:Cabot family|Cabots]], [[w:Adams political family|Adamses]], and [[w:Lowell family|Lowells]]. But there are no Washingtons in Richmond; [[George Washington]], as a matter of fact, left no children. [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]] had direct descendants, but none with the name Jefferson play any consequential role in Virginia life today. There are no [[James Madison|Madisons]], [[James Monroe|Monroes]], descendants of [[John Marshall]] or [[Patrick Henry]], or even Lees, in the contemporary political arena.
** [[John Gunther]], ''Inside U.S.A.'' (1947), p. 705

===H===

* Virginia puts on her prettiest colors to greet the seasons. In the fall, the colors of the leaves are lemon yellow, pumpkin gold, watermelon red, rusty oak, vermillion maple, burnt orange, and dusty green, and no two trees are the same.
** Earl Hamner, Jr., as quoted by Lynn Seldon in ''52 Virginia Weekends: Great Getaways and Adventures for Every Season'' (2000), 2nd edition, p. 113

* Started in Atlanta, then I spread out with it. South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi. On to North Carolina, Philadelphia, and Virginia. From down in Miami where it's warm in the winter. On up to Minnesota where it storms in the winter.
** [[w:T.I.|Clifford Harris]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/djkhaled/wetakinover.html &quot;We Takin' Over&quot;]

* Red-Cloud Owen grew up in New York, but he spent his summers in Virginia with his cousins and other members of the tribe. At 15, he moved to Virginia so that he could attend an all-Indian school. He decided to stay for good, but his mother would never return to live in Virginia again. She died in 1974. Before she died, however, she made a request, Red-Cloud Owen says. She wanted to be buried in the [[w:Chickahominy people|Chickahominy]] tribal cemetery, next to the tribal center and near the small town where she grew up and knew the name of everyone and every tree. Buried in Virginia. Buried as an Indian.
** Joe Heim, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/how-a-long-dead-white-supremacist-still-threatens-the-future-of-virginias-indian-tribes/2015/06/30/81be95f8-0fa4-11e5-adec-e82f8395c032_story.html ''The Washington Post''] (30 June 2015)

* The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers and New Englanders are no more. I am not a Virginian, but an American.
** [[Patrick Henry]], speech in the First Continental Congress, Philadelphia (14 October 1774). Compare: &quot;I was born an American; I will live an American; I shall die an American!&quot;, [[Daniel Webster]], Speech, July 17, 1850

* Virginia is a beautiful state, with almost one-third of its area protected in state or national forests or parks. Virginia has barrier islands, seacost, coastal plains, piedmont, mountains, and valleys. Throughout the state are historic buildings and battlefields. The first settlers encountered [[w:Powhatan|Powhatan]] Indians, members of the [[w:Algonquin peoples|Algonquin Nation]]. As settlers moved westward and northward, they met other tribes as well. Some of the most beautiful place-names in Virginia, such as Shenandoah and Chesapeake, come from Native American words. Today, two tribes still own reservations in King William County, the [[w:Mattaponi|Mattaponi]] and the [[w:Pamunkey|Pamunkey]]. In [[James I of England|King James I]]'s original land grant to the London Company in 1609, the territory of Virginia stretched north and south of Point Comfort on the Atlantic Ocean for 200 miles, then west and northwest to the Pacific Ocean, encompassing three-quarters of the present United States and much of what is now Canada. After England relinquished the area west of the Mississippi in 1763, Virginia still included territory northwest to the Great Lakes. Virginia gave up claims to this vast Northwest Territory when it joined the other former colonies to establish the United States of America.
** Emilee Hines, ''It Happened In Virginia'' (2010), second edition, p. vii

* Geologically, Virginia has some unusual formations- the Natural Bridge, Natural Tunnel, and Natural Chimneys- where ancient seas once washed and shaped the limestone. In [[w:Fairy Stone State Park|Fairystone State Park]] in Henry County, crystals in petrified wood have produced small crosses that are used as jewelry. Virginia has iron ore at Ferrum, bauxite at various locations, and huge deposits of coal in its western mountains. Until the California gold strike in 1849, Virginia's Goochland and Buckingham Counties were America's leading producers of gold. Both the [[American Revolution|Revolutionary War]] and the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] were fought extensively in Virginia, and the surrenders that ended both these wars took place here. Although Virginia is considered a conservative state and was the capital of the Confederacy, Virginia voters in 1989 elected the first African-American governor, [[w:Douglas Wilder|L. Douglas Wilder]]. The history of Old Dominion is colorful and dramatic.
** Emilee Hines, ''It Happened In Virginia'' (2010), second edition, p. vii-viii

* [[w:Yorktown, Virginia|Yorktown, Virginia]] is a small, quiet town today. The only indications of its past importance are the Victory Monument, the visitors' center, and the cannons by the river pointing at the earthworks where an empire was lost and won.
** Emilee Hines, ''It Happened In Virginia'' (2010), second edition, p. 43

===J===
* VA? Now, that sounds great.
** [[50 Cent|Curtis Jackson]], &quot;Ski Mask Way&quot; (2005), ''The Massacre''

* On the whole, I find nothing anywhere else... which Virginia need envy.
** Thomas Jefferson, as quoted by Lynn Seldon in ''Country Roads of Virginia: Drives, Day Trips, and Weekend Excursions'' (1999), p. xi

===L===
*Save for defense of my native state, I never desire again to draw my sword.
** [[Robert E. Lee]], as quoted in letter to General [[Winfield Scott]] (20 April 1861); as quoted in ''Personal Reminiscences, Anecdotes, and Letters of Gen. Robert E. Lee'' (1875) by John William Jones, p. 139, after turning down an offer by U.S. President [[Abraham Lincoln]] of supreme command of the [[United States Army]]

* I, [[Robert E. Lee]] of [[w:Lexington, Virginia|Lexington, Virginia]] do solemn, in the presence of Almighty [[God]], that I will henceforth faithfully support, protect and defend the [[United States Constitution|Constitution]] of the [[United States]], [[Union (United States)|the Union]] of the [[State]]s thereafter, and that I will, in like manner, abide by and faithful support all [[law]]s and proclamations which have been made during the existing [[rebellion]] with reference to the emancipation of [[Slavery|slaves]], so help me [[God]].
** [[Robert E. Lee]], [http://www.archives.gov/global-pages/larger-image.html?i=/publications/prologue/2005/spring/images/lee-amnesty-l.jpg&amp;c=/publications/prologue/2005/spring/images/lee-amnesty.caption.html amnesty oath to the United States] (2 October 1865)

* [[Robert E. Lee|I]] think it would be better for [[w:Virginia|Virginia]] if she could get rid of [[African Americans|them]]... I think it would be for the benefit of Virginia.
** [[Robert E. Lee]], testimony to the Joint Congressional Committee on Reconstruction (17 February 1866), responding to a question on relocating freed slaves to other states, as quoted in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=dUgWAAAAYAAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Report of the Joint Committee on Reconstruction at the First Session Thirty-Ninth Congress]'' (Washington, D.C.: Government Printing Office, 1866), pp. 135-6

* I am rejoiced that slavery is abolished. I believe it will be greatly for the interests of the south. So fully am I satisfied of this, as regards Virginia especially, that I would cheerfully have lost all I have lost by [[American Civil War|the war]], and have suffered all I have suffered, to have this object attained.
** [[Robert E. Lee]], statement to John Leyburn (1 May 1870), as quoted in ''R. E. Lee : A Biography'' (1934) by Douglas Southall Freeman

* The people of Virginia have thus allowed this giant insurrection to make its nest within her borders, and this Government has no choice left but to deal with it where it finds it; and it has the less regret, as the loyal citizens have in due form claimed its protection. Those loyal citizens this Government is bound to recognize and protect, as being Virginia.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-3508 message to the U.S. Congress] (4 July 1861)

===M===
* '''On a view of all circumstances I have judged it most prudent not to force Billey back to Virginia even if it could be done'''; and have accordingly taken measures for his final separation from me. I am persuaded his mind is too thoroughly tainted to be a fit companion for fellow slaves in Virginia. The laws here do not admit of his being sold for more than 7 years. '''I do not expect to get near the worth of him; but cannot think of punishing him by transportation merely for coveting that liberty for which we have paid the prices of so much blood, and have proclaimed so often to be the right, and worthy the pursuit of every human being'''.
** [[James Madison]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=-IrnXiH2lbAC&amp;pg=PA11&amp;dq=%22Madison%22+%22coveting+that+liberty+for+which+we+have+paid%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCYQ6AEwAGoVChMI_ab6o9vWxwIVCmg-Ch1jIgiE#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Madison%22%20%22coveting%20that%20liberty%20for%20which%20we%20have%20paid%22&amp;f=false letter to James Madison, Sr.] (8 September 1783)

* Virginia is for lovers.
** [[w:David N. Martin|David Martin]], ''[[w:Virginia is for Lovers|Virginia is for Lovers]]'' (1969)

* I have never doubted what [[w:Virginia in the American Civil War|Virginia]] would do when the alternatives present themselves to her intelligent and gallant people, to choose between an association with her sisters and the dominion of a people, who have chosen [[Abraham Lincoln|their leader]] upon the single idea that the African is equal to the Anglo-Saxon, and with the purpose of placing our slaves on equality with ourselves and our friends of every condition! and if we of South Carolina have aided in your deliverance from tyranny and degradation, as you suppose, it will only the more assure us that we have performed our duty to ourselves and our sisters in taking the first decided step to preserve an inheritance left us by an ancestry whose spirit would forbid its being tarnished by assassins. We, of [[South Carolina]], hope soon to greet you in a Southern Confederacy, where white men shall rule our destinies, and from which we may transmit to our posterity the rights, privileges, and honor left us by our ancestors.
** [[w:John McQueen|John McQueen]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20150325131513/http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2006.05.0178%3Aarticle%3Dpos%3D47 ''Correspondence to T. T. Cropper and J. R. Crenshaw''] (24 December 1860), Washington, D.C., as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20110321183207/http://www.civilwar.org/education/history/civil-war-overview/why-non-slaveholding.html &quot;Why Non-Slaveholding Southeners Fought&quot;] (25 January 2011), by Gordon Rhea, ''Civil War Trust''

* What was the origin of our slave population? The evil commenced when we were in our Colonial state, but acts were passed by our Colonial Legislature, prohibiting the importation, of more slaves, into the Colony. These were rejected by the Crown. We declared our independence, and the prohibition of a further importation was among the first acts of state sovereignty. Virginia was the first state which instructed her delegates to declare the colonies independent. She braved all dangers. From Quebec to Boston, and from Boston to Savannah, Virginia shed the blood of her sons. No imputation then can be cast upon her in this matter. She did all that was in her power to do, to prevent the extension of slavery, and to mitigate its evils.
** [[James Monroe]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=R9ctAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA78&amp;dq=%22The+evil+commenced+when+we+were+in+our+Colonial+state%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CD8Q6AEwBmoVChMIwM7FxfHTxwIViPM-Ch3fiQrs#v=onepage&amp;q=%22The%20evil%20commenced%20when%20we%20were%20in%20our%20Colonial%20state%22&amp;f=false speech in the Virginia State Convention for altering the Constitution] (2 November 1829)

* There was more vindictiveness shown to me by the [[w:Virginia|Virginia]] people for my voting for [[Ulysses S. Grant|Grant]] than the North showed to me for fighting four years against him.
** [[John S. Mosby|John Mosby]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20131212125935/http://www.gilderlehrman.org/collections/7cef7543-4137-40eb-9a58-793456309337 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (9 May 1907), Washington, D.C.

* I wrote you about my disgust at reading the Reunion speeches. It has since been increased by reading [[w:George Llewellyn Christian|Christian]]'s report. I am certainly glad I wasn't there. According to Christian, the Virginia people were the abolitionists and the Northern people were pro-slavery. He says slavery was 'a patriarchal' institution. So were polygamy and circumcision. Ask Hugh if he has been circumcised. Christian quotes what the Old Virginians said against slavery. True; but why didn't he quote what the modern Virginians said in favor of it? Mason, Hunter, Wise, etc. Why didn't he state that a Virginia senator, Mason, was the author of the Fugitive Slave Law, and why didn't he quote The Virginia Code that made it a crime to speak against slavery?
** [[John S. Mosby|John Mosby]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20131112054334/https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/reconstruction/resources/former-confederate-officer-slavery-and-civil-war-1907 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (4 June 1907)

* [[w:Confederate States of America|The South]] went to war on account of slavery. [[w:South Carolina|South Carolina]] went to war, as she said in her secession proclamation, because slavery would not be secure under [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]. [[South Carolina]] ought to know what was the cause for her seceding. The truth is the modern Virginians departed from the teachings of the [[w:Founding Fathers of the United States|Fathers]].
** [[John S. Mosby|John Mosby]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20131112054334/https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/reconstruction/resources/former-confederate-officer-slavery-and-civil-war-1907 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (4 June 1907)

===P===
* [[John Brown (abolitionist)|He]] captured [[w:Harper's Ferry|Harper's Ferry]], with his nineteen men so few, and frightened 'Old Virginny' till she trembled through and through. They hung him for a traitor, they themselves the traitor crew. But, his soul is marching on.
** [[w:William Weston Patton|William Patton]], &quot;[[w:John Brown's Body|John Brown's Body]]&quot; (1861)

===R===
* The Korean people and I were horribly shocked and deeply saddened at the tragic incident two days ago at Virginia Tech in the United States. I pray for the repose of the souls of the victims and express my wholehearted sympathy to the wounded, the bereaved families and the American people. In addition, I hope that Americans will overcome this great sorrow and difficulties and will regain peace of mind as soon as possible.
** [[w:Roh Moo-hyun|Moo-hyun Roh]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20070927231031/http://english.president.go.kr/cwd/en/archive/archive_view.php?m_def=2&amp;ss_def=1&amp;meta_id=en_speeches&amp;id=31561c9d6fb66ec7b7a5d8d1 &quot;President Says His Heart Goes to Victims, Families&quot;] (April 2007)

* Three centuries have passed since, '''with the settlements on the coasts of Virginia and Massachusetts, the real history of what is now the [[United States]] began'''. All this we ultimately owe to the action of an Italian seaman in the service of a Spanish King and a Spanish Queen. It is eminently fitting that one of the largest and most influential social organizations of this great Republic, '''[[United States|a republic in which the tongue is English, and the blood derived from many sources]]''', should, in its name, commemorate the great Italian. It is eminently fitting to make an address on Americanism.
** [[Theodore Roosevelt]], [https://archive.org/stream/immigrationameri00daviuoft/immigrationameri00daviuoft_djvu.txt &quot;Address to the Knights of Columbus&quot;] (12 October 1915)

* Even though the [Virginian] state had slaves, the Founders proclaimed all men had equal rights.
** [[w:Erik S. Root|Erik Root]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9ZFI2j99ZFkC&amp;pg=PA90&amp;dq=%22The+evil+commenced+when+we+were+in+our+Colonial+state%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CDQQ6AEwBGoVChMI7r2kuPLTxwIVxDM-Ch1KNgzw#v=onepage&amp;q=%22The%20evil%20commenced%20when%20we%20were%20in%20our%20Colonial%20state%22&amp;f=false ''All Honor to Jefferson''], p. 90

===S===

* Episcopal saw itself as part of Old Virginia. If the country was a chessboard, Virginia was the white queen, the most important state in the nation, the home of presidents. As a child, I memorized every president in order as a kind of parlor trick. My dad had given me three-inch white figurines of each president, and I could perform on command, placing them in chronological order. Asked to choose my favorites, I picked, in order, Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe. Four of the first five presidents were from Virginia. (I would never pick John Adams from Massachusetts.) I knew more Virginia trivia. The American Revolution ended with the American victory at Yorktown- in Virginia. The Old Dominion hosted more Civil War battles than any other state. First again. I knew that Virginia was so far and away the best, but a Virginian would never say that. Boasting? That was for Texans. One writer described the Virginia state of mind five years before I was born as a &quot;regal humility&quot; or a mystique &quot;rooted in instincts of graciousness, chivalry, generosity and a benevolent aristocratic idealism, all attributes of the plantation society.&quot;
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 45

* Today, the more I learn about segregation and the Jim Crow system in Virginia, the more I agree with the great Virginia civil rights lawyer Oliver W. Hill Sr., a law partner with Samuel Tucker. Hill found a better way to explain the &quot;Virginia way of life&quot; that helped form me. In 1985, he described life for southern African American citizens during the Jim Crow era: &quot;Virginia and the whole South were police states. There isn't a question about that. Negroes didn't serve on juries... You saw no blacks in places like city hall, or public buildings, unless, maybe an elevator operator or janitor. And that's the way it was.&quot; If the Virginia of my youth was no democracy, if I call a plantation an enslaved labor farm, then I should also call segregated Virginia by its true name- a racial police state. To be clear, the South of my birth was no democracy.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 72

* I wanted to be a Virginia gentleman, not a lawyer, not a teacher, not a businessman, and certainly not an army officer. Those were all careers, professions, jobs. I wanted to be a gentleman. That meant something to a white boy growing up in the South. A gentleman meant honor, chivalry, and good manners. It meant status.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 107

* Maybe my wife is right. Alexandria might be a Washington suburb now. And that leaves me hopeful. Yet my white southern roots know that beneath the veneer of civility lurks a dark past of slavery, segregation, and white supremacy. Maybe we are both right. Alexandria is both southern and not so southern, trying to shed its glorification of the Confederate cause incrementally. I understand. We find it hard to confront our past because it's so ugly, but the alternative to ignoring our racist history is creating a racist future.
** Ty Seidule, ''Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause'' (2020), p. 73

* The popular tourism slogan &quot;Virginia Is for Lovers&quot; has so many meanings to me. It certainly has meant love in the traditional sense: I fell deeply in love and got married in the Old Dominion. But the slogan also means a love of everything the state has to offer. There's a lot to love: the history, the southern charm of the people and places, the mountains, the water, the big cities, the small towns, and the many country roads. I was born and raised in Virginia and have lived in the state for all but six years of my life, when I was in the U.S. Army. My army time gave me a wanderlust that led to a career of travel. I'm a travel writer and photographer by trade and roam the world in search of a good story. But there's nothing better than roaming my own state on a country road.
** Lynn Seldon, ''Country Roads of Virginia: Drives, Day Trips, and Weekend Excursions'' (1999), 2nd edition, p. ix

* &quot;Virginia is for lovers&quot;- of weekends. There's a lot to love: the history, the southern charm of the people and places, the mountains, the water, the big cities, and the small towns. All of this makes for many great weekend options. I was born and raised in Virginia and have lived in the state most of my life. My Army time gave me a wanderlust that led to a career of travel. I'm a travel writer and photographer by trade and roam the world in search of a good story. But there's nothing better than a weekend spent in Virginia.
** Lynn Seldon, ''52 Virginia Weekends: Great Getaways and Adventures for Every Season'' (2000), 2nd edition, p. xi

* Richmond is a city rich with tradition and vibrant with growth. It's a great place to spend a weekend. Richmond is at the heart of everything wonderful about the Old (and new) Dominion, offering an interesting blend of the modern and the historic. Over a billion dollars of shiny new buildings grace the downtown skyline, but they coexist with restored mansions, museums, and warehouses. Richmonders and visitors alike enjoy the new and old riches, but city life still moves at a southern gentleman's (and gentlewoman's) pace.
** Lynn Seldon, ''52 Virginia Weekends: Great Getaways and Adventures for Every Season'' (2000), 2nd edition, p. 3

* [I]n 1782, Virginia passed a bill permitting private manumissions. Over the next ten years, Virginians manumitted about 1,000 slaves, including some who had fought as substitutes for their owners. Many more, however, were returned to slavery, so many, in fact, that the legislature felt compelled to speak out against this obvious injustice. In the fall of 1783, it passed a bill condemning owners who contrary to principles of justice and to their own solemn promise,&quot; kept their substitutes in slavery. It also instructed the Attorney General of Virginia to act on behalf of slaves held in servitude despite their war-time service and grant them the freedom they had earned. It is unknown how many slaves were freed in Virginia as a reward for military service.
** Robert A. Selig, [https://web.archive.org/web/20141008220806/http://amrevmuseum.org/reflections/african-americans-continental-army-and-state-militias-during-american-war-independence &quot;African-Americans in the Continental Army and the State Militias During the American War of Independence&quot;], ''Reflections''

* Virginia led the way among the colonies in excluding blacks from militia service, when the House of Burgesses required in January 1639 that only white Virginians arm themselves. 
** Robert A. Selig, [https://web.archive.org/web/20141201041830/http://www.americanrevolution.org/blk.php &quot;The Revolution's Black Soldiers&quot;], ''American Revolution''

* I think Stone Mountain is amusing, but then again I find most representations of [[Robert E. Lee]] and Stonewall Jackson outside of [[w:Virginia|Virginia]], and, in Jackson's case, West Virginia, to be amusing.
** [[Brooks D. Simpson]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/07/22/the-future-of-stone-mountain/ &quot;The Future of Stone Mountain&quot;] (22 July 2015), ''Crossroads''

* 'The people of the South', says a contemporary, 'are not fighting for slavery but for independence'. '''Let us look into this matter. It is an easy task, we think, to show up this new-fangled heresy, a heresy calculated to do us no good, for it cannot deceive foreign statesmen nor peoples, nor mislead any one here nor in Yankeeland'''... Our doctrine is this. '''WE ARE FIGHTING''' FOR INDEPENDENCE '''THAT OUR GREAT AND NECESSARY DOMESTIC INSTITUTION OF [[Slavery|SLAVERY]] SHALL BE PRESERVED''', and for the preservation of other institutions of which [[slavery]] is the groundwork.
** [http://civilwarcauses.org/punch.htm ''Southern Punch''] (19 September 1864), Richmond, as quoted in [https://archive.is/jcaoZ ''The Confederate Battle Flag: America's Most Embattled Emblem''] (2005), by John M. Coski

===T===
* Virginians typically treated their slaves harshly.
** Mary V. Thompson, [http://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/slavery/the-only-unavoidable-subject-of-regret/ &quot;The Only Unavoidable Subject of Regret&quot;], ''Mount Vernon''

* Better, far better! Endure all the horrors of civil war than to see the dusky sons of Ham leading the fair daughters of the South to the altar.
** [[w:William Thompson|William Thompson]], [http://civilwartalk.com/threads/why-did-the-average-soldier-fight-in-the-acw.12486/page-14 letter to Warner A. Thompson] (2 February 1861), as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=1qhEHVki8tEC&amp;pg=PA19&amp;dq=%22endure+all+the+horrors+of+civil+war+than+to+see+the+dusky+sons+of+Ham+leading+the+fair+daughters+of+the+South+to+the+altar%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CB0Q6AEwAGoVChMIwrGQhM7hxwIVyGg-Ch3phAf7#v=onepage&amp;q=%22endure%20all%20the%20horrors%20of%20civil%20war%20than%20to%20see%20the%20dusky%20sons%20of%20Ham%20leading%20the%20fair%20daughters%20of%20the%20South%20to%20the%20altar%22&amp;f=false ''For Cause and Comrades: Why Men Fought in the Civil War''] (1997), by [[James M. McPherson]], New York City: Oxford University Press, Inc., p. 19

* Our story actually begins at Jamestown, as almost all Virginia stories do... yes, even the story of Hampden-Sydney's College Presbyterian Church.
** William E. Thompson, ''Her Walls Before Thee Stand: The 235-Year History of the Presbyterian Congregation at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia'' (2010), revised 2011 edition, p. 15

* The [[w:Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown]] settlers ''never ever'' pretended to have come to the New World on a noble quest for religious freedom. Instead, they represented a daring economic endeavor which was sponsored by a group of venture capitalists who were collectively known as ''The Virginia Company''. Many of these forefathers of the fabled &quot;First Families of Virginia&quot; were, in fact, escaping Old World arrest warrants, debt collectors, paternity suits, military obligations, home duties, and the like. No, for the Jamestown pioneers- as well as for most of those who soon followed them to other nearby Tidewater villages and plantations- the purity and the practice of their Christian faith were ''secondary'' matters... although the Jamestown colony ''did'' have an Anglican priest among its settlers, and very shortly he began celebrating the Eucharist for these men. There were Calvinist Puritans in this group, but they just quietly tolerated this religious exercise without protest, while not completely embracing its theology.
** William E. Thompson, ''Her Walls Before Thee Stand: The 235-Year History of the Presbyterian Congregation at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia'' (2010), revised 2011 edition, p. 16

* However, even if these earliest Virginians ''had'' been seeking the free and unfettered practice of their particular type of Christianity, there would be no true &quot;religious freedom&quot; ''anywhere'' in Virginia for nearly two more centuries... and therefore surviving with one's personal faith intact would become the defining struggle for most of the Presbyterians who immigrated to this same colony during the 17th and 18th centuries.
** William E. Thompson, ''Her Walls Before Thee Stand: The 235-Year History of the Presbyterian Congregation at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia'' (2010), revised 2011 edition, p. 16

* Officially ''all'' of the early white Virginia settlers [and any of their black slaves and their native neighbors (''e.g.'', Pocahontas) who were subsequently evangelized into Christianity] were ''supposed'' to be, or ''assumed'' to be, members of the Anglican Church. While those who openly declared themselves to be otherwise were not specifically labeled as &quot;outlaws&quot;, their rather prejudicial classification as &quot;dissenters&quot; meant that those daring-to-be-different Christians were living on the teeter-totter edge of colonial legality, Crown loyalty, and civil propriety.
** William E. Thompson, ''Her Walls Before Thee Stand: The 235-Year History of the Presbyterian Congregation at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia'' (2010), revised 2011 edition, p. 17

* When a civil war began in the 1640s between the King's forces and the Parliamentary forces, many English religious dissenters joined the anti-royalists. At this time, Virginia's royal governor, William Berkeley, reacted by arbitrarily condemning ''all Virginia dissenters'' as similar being seditious anti-royalists; some Tidewater dissenters were banished from Virginia at this time, while others simply moved farther up the James River to areas (in present-day Hanover County) north and west of its fall-line. Some of these &quot;uprooted and transplanted&quot; Piedmont dissenters became the ancestors of the Presbyterian congregation that would later be formed at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia.
** William E. Thompson, ''Her Walls Before Thee Stand: The 235-Year History of the Presbyterian Congregation at Hampden-Sydney, Virginia'' (2010), revised 2011 edition, p. 20

===V===

* The Virginia town of [[w:Charlottesville, Virginia|Charlottesville]] is a good place to remember. I was born there on March 13, 1887, and lived there until 1909 when I left for a new home, the Marine Corps. Forty years later I returned, then moved to Florida, my current home. Charlottesville is still a good place to remember. To me Charlottesville will always be a little town sitting quiet in the foothills of the [[w:Blue Ridge Mountains|Blue Ridge Mountains]], the home of some 8,000 people, dirt streets lighted by gas lamps, a yellow glow that on a winter evening peeped comfortably through the drawn drapery of the red-brick houses on East High Street- my route when I was hurrying to explain to my parents why I was late for supper.
** [[Alexander Vandegrift]], ''Once a Marine: The Memoirs of General A.A. Vandegrift, U.S.M.C.'' (1964), p. 21

* In those years we lived rather close to the Civil War, an atmosphere that molded our likes and dislikes almost into one. We were so soundly Democratic that our parents always pointed out Charlottesville's only Republican to any visitor. The first time politics meant anything to me was during [[Grover Cleveland]]'s second campaign. My mother took me to the balcony of Monticello Hotel to watch a torchlight political parade which to me meant my father handsomely dressed in a gray alpaca coat, a gray beaver hat and a rooster on his shoulder. Such state occasions rarely occurred. Most of the time we entertained ourselves. In spring, when Virginia smells sweeter than any place I have since visited in the world, we went blackberrying to bring back loaded pails which Henrietta, my mother's cook of long years, baked into fragrant and delicious pies. Summers we swam in the [[w:Rivanna River|Rivanna River]], a muddy little stream about two miles from town; sometimes we fished it from an old flat-bottomed boat and occasionally pulled out a perch or catfish. When the leaves turned brown we took schoolbags and hiked to the nearby Ragged Mountains to garner bushels of chestnuts and later to cook them over red coals and enjoy their odor as much as their meat. After Christmas the little ponds sometimes froze over, which meant digging out skates from the hall closet and trying our luck on ice never more than an inch and a half thick- and many were the duckings we took.
** [[Alexander Vandegrift]], ''Once a Marine: The Memoirs of General A.A. Vandegrift, U.S.M.C.'' (1964), p. 23

* This being only thirty years after the Civil War, Charlottesville abounded in military experiences. From as long as I can remember Grandfather Carson told me stories about his campaigns. He was a very impressive man and I listened carefully to his tales. He was also very devout. A Baptist deacon, he said prayers before breakfast; if you missed these, you missed breakfast. He held few men in awe, but those few he treated mighty respectfully- he always prayed to &quot;the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.&quot;
** [[Alexander Vandegrift]], ''Once a Marine: The Memoirs of General A.A. Vandegrift, U.S.M.C.'' (1964), p. 25

* '''That all men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights''', of which, when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety.
** [[w:Virginia Declaration of Rights|''Virginia Declaration of Rights'']] (12 June 1776)

* A well-regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the proper, natural, and safe defense of a free state; that standing armies, in time of peace, should be avoided as dangerous to liberty; and that in all cases the military should be under strict subordination to, and governed by, the civil power.
** [[w:Virginia Declaration of Rights|''Virginia Declaration of Rights'']] (12 June 1776)

*''[[w:Sic semper tyrannis|Sic semper tyrannis]]''
** Latin for &quot;Thus Always to [[Tyrants]]&quot;.
** See &quot;[https://web.archive.org/web/20090115165637/https://www.virginia.org/site/features.asp?FeatureID=138 State Symbols, Seals and Emblems],&quot; archived from the virginia.org original on 15 January 2009.

===W===
*Virginia for so long has made me look back on whatever regional identity it might have. My first impression is that it doesn't really have one... Virginia, for those without easy transportation options, is downright god-awfully ''boring''.
**[[w:Alexander Wallace|Alexander Wallace]], [https://www.theodysseyonline.com/beltway-boy-comes-home &quot;A Beltway Boy Comes Home&quot;] (27 December 2017), ''The Odyssey Online''

* Today, I offer the Commonwealth's sincere apology for Virginia's participation in eugenics. We must remember the Commonwealth's past mistakes in order to prevent them from recurring.
** [[w:Mark Warner|Mark Warner]], as quoted in [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/1965811.stm &quot;Virginia apologises for eugenics policy&quot;] (3 May 2002), ''BBC News'', United Kingdom: British Broadcasting Corporation

* There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose independent of invidious racial discrimination which justifies this classification. The fact that Virginia prohibits only interracial marriages involving white persons demonstrates that the racial classifications must stand on their own justification, as measures designed to maintain White Supremacy. We have consistently denied the constitutionality of measures which restrict the rights of citizens on account of race. There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the Equal Protection Clause.
**[[Earl Warren]], in ''Loving v. Virginia'' (1967), as quoted in [http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-African-Science-Explodes-Myth/dp/1633880184/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 ''Everyone Is African: How Science Explodes the Myth of Race''], by Daniel J. Fairbanks

==External links==
{{Wikiversity}}
*{{official|https://www.virginia.gov/}}
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Virginia, Commonwealth of}}
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="29954" xml:space="preserve">[[File:ThomasDiggesmap.JPG|right|thumb|[[Anaximander]]:The [[earth]] is a [[w:Cylinder|cylindrical]] [[w:column|column]], surrounded by [[air]]; it floats upright in the centre of the [[universe]] without support or anything to stand on, yet it does not fall because, being in the centre, it has no preferred [[w:direction|direction]] towards which to lean; if it did, this would disturb the symmetry and balance of the whole. The spherical [[heaven]]s enclose the [[w:atmosphere|atmosphere]].]]
'''[[w:Symmetry|Symmetry]]''' (from [[w:Greek language|Greek]] συμμετρία symmetria &quot;agreement in dimensions, due proportion, arrangement&quot;) has two meanings. The first is a vague sense of harmonious and beautiful proportion and balance. The second is an exact mathematical &quot;patterned self-similarity&quot; that can be demonstrated with the rules of a formal system, such as [[geometry]] or [[physics]]. Although these two meanings of &quot;symmetry&quot; can sometimes be told apart, they are related, so they are here discussed together. Mathematical symmetry may be observed with respect to the passage of time; as a spatial relationship; through geometric [[transformation]]s such as scaling, reflection, and rotation; through other kinds of functional transformations and as an aspect of [[abstract]] objects, theoretic models, [[language]], [[music]] and even [[knowledge]] itself.

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== A ==

*...which were neither [[w:Lofty|lofty]] nor shaped by any noticeable inner [[harmony]] or symmetry, other than that all parts of the room were pretty much ...
**[[Douglas Adams]], in [http://www.archive.org/stream/loftylowlyorgood01mcinuoft/loftylowlyorgood01mcinuoft_djvu.txt  Full text of &quot;The lofty and the lowly; or, Good in all and ...]

* The [[earth]] is a [[w:Cylinder|cylindrical]] [[w:column|column]], surrounded by [[air]]; it floats upright in the centre of the [[universe]] without support or anything to stand on, yet it does not fall because, being in the centre, it has no preferred [[w:Direction|direction]] towards which to lean; if it did, this would disturb the symmetry and balance of the whole. The spherical [[heaven]]s enclose the [[w:atmosphere|atmosphere]] 'like the bark of a tree', and there are several layers of this enclosure to accommodate the various stellar objects.
**[[Anaximander]], in [http://www.ict.griffith.edu.au/~johnt/1004ICT/lectures/lecture02/Sleepwalkers-pp19-25.html Early Conceptions of the Cosmos]

*While both the [[w:Metaphysicist|metaphysicist]] and the [[physicist]] draw conclusions from their general [[doctrine]]s, the one is contented with [[logic]]al symmetry, the other demands the [[w:confrontation|confrontation]] with [[facts]].
**[[Aristotle]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=YFJZAAAAcAAJ&amp;pg=PA33 Aristotle: a chapter from the history of science including analyses of ...], p. 33,  quoted by George Henry Lewes.

*The chief forms of [[beauty]] are [[order]] and symmetry and definiteness, which the mathematical sciences [[w:demonstrate|demonstrate]] in a special degree...
**[[Aristotle]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=uoELqVKpUhMC&amp;pg=PA213 Toward an Aesthetics of Blindness: An Interdisciplinary Response to Synge ...], p. 213.

== B ==
[[File:SphinxGiza.jpg|right|thumb|[[Kate Bush]]:I'm busy chasing up my [[demon]].&lt;br&gt;Oh, I'm in [[love]] With [[Egypt]].]]
*Tyger! Tyger! burning bright&lt;br&gt; in the forests of the night,&lt;br&gt; What [[immortal]] hand or eye&lt;br&gt; Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
**[[William Blake]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=cVAIBeCXxmwC&amp;pg=PT220 Famous Quotes from 100 Great People], p. 220.

*Guided only by their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired by the art of mathematics rather than by any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
**[[Eric Temple Bell]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=JNbKURWmODkC&amp;pg=PA172 777 Mathematical Conversation Starters], p,172.

*The sands run red&lt;br&gt;In lands of the [[w:Pharoahs|Pharoahs]].&lt;br&gt;Their symmetry gets right inside me.&lt;br&gt;
*I cannot stop to [[comfort]] them.&lt;br&gt;I'm busy chasing up my demon. &lt;br&gt;I cannot stop to comfort them. &lt;br&gt;I'm busy chasing up my [[demon]].&lt;br&gt;Oh, I'm in [[love]] With [[Egypt]].
**[[Kate Bush]], in [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/katebush/egypt.html  Kate Bush Lyrics]

== C ==

*...That a right Mind, and generous [[Affection]], had more [[Beauty]] and Charm, than all  other Symmetrys in the World besides. And, That a Grain of [[Honesty]] and Has five [[Worth]], was of more value than all the adventitious Ornaments...
**[[Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=ySgJAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA168 Characteristicks of Men, Manners, Opinions, Times], p. 168
== D ==

* Men achieve tranquillity through moderation in pleasure and through the symmetry of life. Want and superfluity are apt to upset them and to cause great perturbations in the soul. The souls that are rent by violent conflicts are neither stable nor tranquil. ...one ought not to desire other men's blessings, and one ought not to envy those who have more, but rather, comparing his life with that of those who fare worse, and laying to heart their sufferings, deem himself blest of fortune in that he lives and fares so much better than they. Holding fast to this saying you will pass your life in greater tranquillity and will avert not a few of the plagues of life—envy and jealousy and bitterness of mind.
** [[Democritus]] (ca. 400 BCE) as quoted by  {{w|Charles Montague Bakewell}}, ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=uPcPAAAAYAAJ Source Book in Ancient Philosophy]'' (1907)

* What is this world? A complex whole, subject to endless revolutions. All these revolutions show a continual tendency to destruction; a swift succession of beings who follow one another, press forward, and vanish; a fleeting symmetry; the order of a moment. I reproached you just now with estimating the perfection of things by your own capacity; and I might accuse you here of measuring its duration by the length of your own days. You judge of the continuous existence of the world, as an ephemeral insect might judge of yours. The world is eternal for you, as you are eternal to the being that lives but for one instant. Yet the insect is the more reasonable of the two. For what a prodigious succession of ephemeral generations attests your eternity! What an immeasurable tradition! Yet shall we all pass away, without the possibility of assigning either the real extension that we filled in space, or the precise time that we shall have endured. Time, matter, space—all, it may be, are no more than a point.
** [[Denis Diderot]], ''Lettre sur les aveugles'' [''Letter on the Blind''] (1749)

== E ==
== F ==
[[File:Parmigianino 004.jpg|right|thumb|[[w:Henry Fuseli|Henry Fuseli]]:[[w:Body proportions|Proportion]], or symmetry, is the basis of [[beauty]]; propriety, of [[grace]].]]
* I wrote Fearful Symmetry during the [[Second World War]], and hideous as that time was, it provided some parallels with Blake’s time which were useful for understanding Blake’s [[attitude]] to the [[world]].
**[[Northrop Frye]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=4cOcHsKhzrgC&amp;pg=PP11 Fearful Symmetry: A Study of William Blake], p. 11.

*Her [[dream]]s, of course, partook of this symmetry. The same dream returns to her periodically, annually, and punctual to its night.
**[[Margaret Fuller]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=mfoDAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA123 The Spiritual Magazine], p. 123.

*[[w:Body proportions|Proportion]], or symmetry, is the basis of [[beauty]]; propriety, of [[grace]].
**[[w:Henry Fuseli|Henry Fuseli]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Py05AQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA77 Lectures], in p. 78.

== G ==

*[[Truth]] it seems to me — is no [[absolute]] thing, but always relative, the essential symmetry in the varying relationships of life;...
**[[John Galsworthy]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=ehcPvFQXJV0C&amp;pg=PA207 The Complete Essays of John Galsworthy], p. 207.

* Physicists describe the two properties of physical laws—that they do not depend on when or where you use them—as ''symmetries'' of nature. By this usage physicists mean that nature treats every moment in time and every location in space identically—symmetrically—by ensuring that the same fundamental laws are in operation. Much in the same manner that they affect art and music, such symmetries are deeply satisfying; they highlight an order and coherence in the workings of nature. The elegance of rich, complex, and diverse phenomena emerging from a simple set of universal laws is at least part of what physicists mean when they invoke the term &quot;beautiful.&quot;&lt;!--p. 169--&gt;
** [[Brian Greene]], ''The Elegant Universe'' (1999) Ch. 7 The &quot;Super&quot; in Superstrings.

* One overarching lesson... during the past hundred years is that the known laws of physics are associated with principles of symmetry. Special relativity is based on the symmetry embodied in the {{w|principle of relativity}}—the symmetry between all constant-velocity vantage points. The gravitational force, as embodied in the general theory of relativity, is based on the [[equivalence principle]]—the extension of the principle of relativity to embrace all vantage points regardless of the complexity of their states of motion. And the strong, weak, and electromagnetic forces are based on the... [[Gauge theory|gauge symmetry principles]]. ...[[String theory]] takes us down another notch on the scale of explanatory depth because all of these symmetry principles, as well as another—{{w|supersymmetry}}—emerge from its structure.&lt;!-- p. 374-375/2003 --&gt;
** [[Brian Greene]], ''The Elegant Universe'' (1999, 2003) Ch. 15 &quot;Prospects.&quot;

== H ==
[[File:Dunes in Gobi Gurvansaikhan National Park.jpg|right|thumb|[[Frank Herbert]]:There is in all things a pattern that is part of our universe. It has symmetry, [[elegance]], and grace - those qualities you find always in that which the true artist captures. You can find it in the turning of the [[seasons]], in the way [[sand]] trails along a [[w:Ridge|ridge]], in the branch [[clusters]] of [[w:creosote bush|creosote bush]] or the patterns of its leaves.]]
*According to the [[w:atomic theory|atomic theory]] the forming force in this process is to a certain extent the symmetry characteristic of the solution to [[w:Erwin Schrödinger|Schrodinger]]’s wave [[w:Equation|equation]] and to that extent x [[w:Crytalization|crytalization]] is explained by the atomic theory.
*[[Werner Heisenberg]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=57Wjgn-rLhwC&amp;pg=PA300 Nobel Lectures in Physics], p. 300.

*There is in all things a [[w:Pattern|pattern]] that is part of our universe. It has symmetry, [[w:Elegance|elegance]], and grace - those qualities you find always in that which the true [[artist]] captures. You can find it in the turning of the [[seasons]], in the way [[sand]] trails along a [[w:Ridge|ridge]], in the branch [[w:Clusters|clusters]] of [[w:creosote bush|creosote bush]] or the patterns of its leaves.
**[[Frank Herbert]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=GgRGF_uDp9AC&amp;pg=PA33 The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct ...]

== I ==
== J ==

*To let the reader sometimes complete the symmetry between [[words]] and to do no more than suggest it. In this painting of our life given to us by our memories, everything is moving and depends on our point of view.
**[[Joseph Joubert]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=hWlcAAAAMAAJ Translations], p. 147.

*You know what Aquinas says: The three things requisite for beauty are, [[integrity]], a wholeness, symmetry and radiance.
**[[James Joyce]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=9lhKAAAAMAAJ Problems in modern English fiction], p. 65.

== K ==

*Lived in perfect symmetry&lt;br&gt;What I do, that will be done to me&lt;br&gt;As the needle slips into the run out groove&lt;br&gt;Love, maybe you'll feel it too.
**[[Keane]], in [http://www.metrolyrics.com/perfect-symmetry-lyrics-keane.html Keane Perfect Symmetry Lyrics | MetroLyrics]
[[File:Betula pendula Finland.jpg|right|thumb|[[w:Silver birch|silver birch]] - [[Helen Keller]]: I feel the delicate symmetry of a leaf. I pass my hands lovingly about the smooth skin of a [[w:Silver birch|silver birch]], or the rough shaggy bark of a pine.]]
*I feel the [[w:Delicate|delicate]] symmetry of a leaf. I pass my hands lovingly about the smooth skin of a [[w:Silver birch|silver birch]], or the rough shaggy [[w:Bark|bark]] of a [[w:pine|pine]].
**[[Helen Keller]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=I5dPNwLrua4C&amp;pg=PA76 You Gotta Keep Dancin'], p. 76.

*Without any underlying symmetry properties, the job of proving interesting results becomes extremely unpleasant. The enjoyment of one's tools is an [[essential]] ingredient of [[successful]] work.
**[[Donald Knuth]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=OtLNKNVh1XoC&amp;pg=PA238 The Art Of Computer Programming, Volume 2: Seminumerical Algorithms, 3/E], p. 238.

*...for the [[discovery]] of the origin of the broken symmetry which predicts the existence of at least three families of quarks in nature.
**[[Makoto Kobayashi (physicist)]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=6MA9BtdeohUC Greening of Petroleum Operations: The Science of Sustainable Energy Production]]

== L ==

*Your borrowers of [[book]]s—those mutilators of collections, spoilers of the symmetry of shelves, and [[creator]]s of odd volumes.
**[[Charles Lamb]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=_Ol31GmIAZgC&amp;pg=PA23 The Equation that Couldn't Be Solved: How Mathematical Genius Discovered the ...], p. 23.

*Since the beginning of [[physics]], symmetry considerations have provided us with an extremely powerful and useful tool in our [[effort]] to understand nature. Gradually they have become the backbone of our theoretical formulation of [[w:physical law|physical law]]s.
**[[w:Tsung-Dao Le|Tsung-Dao Le]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=CMYdFEntAHUC&amp;pg=PA177 Particle Physics and Introduction to Field Theory: Revised and Updated First], p. 177.

*The introduction of symmetries belongs here too, [[w:Silhouette|silhouettes]] in inkblots, etc. Likewise the gradation we establish in the order of [[w:Creature|creature]]s: all this is not in the things but in us. In general we cannot remember too often that when we observe nature, and especially the ordering of nature, it is always ourselves alone we are observing.
**[[Georg Christoph Lichtenberg]], in [http://www.philosopherzone.com/georg-christoph-lichtenberg/. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg]

* Nature has been kind to us by being governed by ''universal'' laws, rather than by mere parochial bylaws. A hydrogen atom on Earth... or even in a galaxy that is ten billion light years away, behaves in precisely the same manner. And this is true in any direction we look and at any time. ...such properties ...are called ''symmetries'' and they reflect immunity to changes in location, orientation, or the time... If not for these (and other) symmetries, any hope of deciphering nature's grand design would have been lost...
** [[w:Mario Livio|Mario Livio]], ''Is God a Mathematician?'' (2009) p. 251.

== M ==

*I'm terribly [[w:fastidious|fastidious]]. I like symmetry and neatness, but my house is as chaotic as any other family's.
**[[w:Kevin McCloud|Kevin McCloud]], in [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/8088675/Grand-Designs-Kevin-McCloud-My-house-is-as-chaotic-as-yours.html  Grand Designs Kevin McCloud: 'My house is as chaotic as yours']

*The symmetry of form attainable in pure [[fiction]] can not so readily be achieved in a [[narration]] essentially having less to do with [[fable]] than ...
**[[Herman Melville]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=4YyoZDTlZ9wC&amp;pg=PA280 Bloom's how to Write about Herman Melville], p. 280.
* Like the ski resort full of [[girl]]s hunting for [[husband]]s and husbands hunting for girls the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.
**[[Alan Lindsay Mackay]] in [https://books.google.cz/books?id=JJ1aDC_wYM0C&amp;printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false New Theories of Everything].

* For every symmetry there comes a constraint. ...If physics is to look the same when the origin of time is shifted... [o]nly those processes that [[w:Conservation of energy|conserve energy]] are allowed. ...If physical law is to be immune to the arbitrary displacement of our spatial axes, then nature requires the conservation of {{w|linear momentum}}. ...If the laws are to be unaffected by the arbitrary rotation of a coordinate system, then {{w|angular momentum}} must be conserved. ...If the laws are to be the same for all inertial observers, then the [[w:Spacetime#Spacetime interval|space-time interval]] must be invariant. ...[A]nother constraint ...so beautiful as to make one jaw drop in wonder ...''symmetry creates force''. ...[T]he symmetry of identical particles forces matter ...to be enrolled as either {{w|fermion}} or {{w|boson}} ...Bosons, typified by the [[photon]], carry the  the fundamental forces that cause fermions to attract and repel. Fermions, led by electrons and quarks, become constituents of ordinary matter. ...Gravity. Electromagnetism. The strong force. The weak force. Each {{w|fundamental interaction}} is called into being by the requirements of a particular local symmetry.&lt;!-- pp. 211-223--&gt;
** Michael Munowitz, ''Knowing: The Nature of Physical Law'' (2005)

== N ==
== O ==

*Some people focus more on sonics. Some people [[focus]] more on story. I focus on both sonics and story, but music sometimes, just music itself, can turn into more of a maths problem. I guess everything in life is a math problem, but it can be more about an [[w:Empirical|empirical]] route to getting the symmetry that you want, and this vibe, sonically.
**[[w:Frank Ocean|Frank Ocean ]], in [http://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/dec/13/frank-ocean-would-be-best Frank Ocean: 'I told y'all my album would be the best!']

== P ==
[[File:Trees in the moonlight.jpg|thumb|[[Blaise Pascal]]:*Symmetry is what we see at a [[w:Glance|glance]]; based on the [[fact]] that there is no reason for any [[w:Difference|difference]]...]]
[[File:2003-32-GravitationalLens.jpg|right|thumb|[[Thomas Pynchon]]: ...among its most tender flesh without a [[reflex]] or cry, then at least, at very least, waiting for a symmetry of choices to break down, to go skew....]]
*Beauty is our [[weapon]] against nature; by it we make objects, giving them limit, symmetry, proportion. Beauty halts and freezes the melting flux of nature.
**[[Camille Paglia]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=mxp_ltnr3iQC&amp;pg=PA165 Culture], p. 165.

*Symmetry is what we see at a [[w:Glance|glance]]; based on the [[fact]] that there is no reason for any [[w:Difference|difference]]...
**[[Blaise Pascal]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=cVCCvN48MmIC&amp;pg=PA126 From Summetria to Symmetry: The Making of a Revolutionary Scientific Concept ...], p. 126.

*Fascinated by its symmetry the geometer may at times have been too exclusively engrossed with his [[science]], forgetful of its [[application]]s;...
**[[Benjamin Peirce]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=dHF9OgSF_80C&amp;pg=PA106 The Early Years of the Saturday Club: 1855-1870], p. 106.

*By the time of his [[w:String Quartet No. 4 (Bartók)Fourth String Quartet]], inversional symmetry had become as fundamental a premise of [[Bartok]]'s [[w:Harmonic|harmonic]] [[language]] as it is of the twelve-tone music of [[Schoenberg]], Berg, and [[Webern]].
**[[George Perle]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=hc8ZBSc6nFsC&amp;pg=PA46 The Listening Composer], p. 46.

*It is the [[harmony]] of the diverse parts, their symmetry, their happy balance; in a word it is all that introduces order, all that gives [[unity]], that permits us to see clearly and to comprehend at once both the [[w:Ensemble|ensemble]] and the details.
**[[Henri Poincare ]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=eYPBAyDRjOUC&amp;pg=PA3 Ultra Low Power Bioelectronics], p. 3.

*...among its most [[w:Tender|tender]] flesh without a [[w:Reflex|reflex]] or [[w:Cry|cry]], then at least, at very least, waiting for a [[symmetry]] of choices to break down, to go skew....
**[[Thomas Pynchon]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=6gDQabKQi0oC&amp;pg=PA97 Middle Grounds: Studies in Contemporary American Fiction], p. 97.

== Q ==
== R ==
[[File:WMAP 2006 94 GHz temperature map.png|right|thumb|[[Varadaraja V. Raman]]: When one is involved in the [[discovery]] and discernment of the marvelous [[laws]] and symmetries that shape the phenomenal world, one cannot but be struck by the silent and unfathomable [[intelligence]] that seems to pervade the [[Cosmos]].]]
*When one is involved in the [[discovery]] and discernment of the marvelous [[laws]] and symmetries that shape the phenomenal world, one cannot but be struck by the silent and unfathomable [[intelligence]] that seems to pervade the [[Cosmos]].
**[[Varadaraja V. Raman]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=UggdrSiVvhsC&amp;pg=PA142 Truth and Tension in Science and Religion], p. 142
[[File:Sabine wheel by alexander braun.png|right|thumb|Graphic design -[[Paul Rand]]:Graphic design, which evokes the symmetria of Vituvius, the dynamic symmetry of Hambidge, the asymmetry of Mondrian; which is a good gestalt, generated by intuition or by computer, by invention or by a system of coordinates, is not good design if it does not communicate.]]
*[[Graphic design]], which evokes the ''symmetria of Vituvius'', the dynamic symmetry of Hambidge, the asymmetry of Mondrian; which is a good gestalt, generated by intuition or by computer, by invention or by a system of coordinates, is not good design if it does not communicate.
**[[w:Paul Rand|Paul Rand]], in [http://search.barnesandnoble.com/used/product.asp?ean=2693798829311 Paul Rand: A Designer's Art].

*I don't know if it's a [[sign]] of all the chaos that is happening out there or not, but I've lately craved the structure and order of [[classical music]], the balance and symmetry.
**[[w:Helen Reddy|Helen Reddy]], in [http://worldclassicalnetwork.com/programming.htm WCN Programming]

*No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf [[perfect]] in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity as they imply change; and to [[w:Banish|banish]] [[w:Imperfection|
imperfection]] is to destroy [[expression]], to check [[w:Exterion|exertion]], to paralyze [[w:Vitality|vitality]]. All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort, and the law of human [[judgment]], [[Mercy]].
**[[John Ruskin]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=97B464jAVGcC&amp;pg=PA138 The Pre-Raphaelites: Writings and Sources, Volume 3], p. 138.

== S ==

*Let us think that no [[human rights]] will exist without symmetry of the duties that correspond to them. It is not to be expected that government in the next 50 years will do it.
**[[José Saramago]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=ovhoCr4zUDAC&amp;pg=PA12 Service Learning: Linking Library Education and Practice], p. 12.

*His [[genius]] for [[poetry]] and [[music]] enabled him to reproduce the [[rhythm]] and [[melody]], the [[w:Conscious parallelism|parallelism]] and symmetry, of [[w:Hebrew language|Hebrew]] poetry and [[w:Prose|prose]].
**[[Philip Schaff]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=w3JrAXpjxEEC&amp;pg=PT402 History of the Christian Church, Volume VII. Modern Christianity. The German ...], p. 402
[[File:Charles Burnham at the Mimi Festival, Frioul islands, Marseilles, France.jpg|right|thumb|[[Pierre Schaeffer]]:Take a sound from whatever source, a note on a violin, a scream, a moan, a creaking door, and there is always this symmetry between the sound basis, which is complex and has numerous characteristics which emerge through a process of comparison within our perception.]]
*Take a [[sound]] from whatever source, a note on a [[w:violin|violin]], a scream, a moan, a creaking door, and there is always this symmetry between the sound basis, which is complex and has numerous characteristics which emerge through a process of comparison within our [[perception]].
**[[Pierre Schaeffer ]], in [http://www.ele-mental.org/ele_ment/said&amp;did/schaeffer_interview.html pierre schaefferan interview with the pioneer of musique concrete].

*[[Consistency]] is the [[enemy]] of [[enterprise]], just as symmetry is the enemy of [[art]].
**[[George Bernard Shaw ]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=f_fhVr6Hz98C&amp;pg=PT201 The EU's Foreign Policy: What Kind of Power and Diplomatic Action?], p. 201.

*Perhaps the most profound synthesis of physical [[science]]s came from the realization that everything could be understood from “[[conservation]] laws” and symmetry principles.
**[[Didier Sornette]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=eUd8MWV_twMC&amp;pg=RA1-PA136 Why Stock Markets Crash: Critical Events in Complex Financial Systems], p. 36.

== T ==
[[File:Antoine-Louis Barye - Gazelle of Ethiopia - Walters 2731.jpg|right|thumb|[[Bayard Taylor]]:The nearest approach I have ever seen to the symmetry of ancient [[sculpture]] was among the [[w:Arab tribe|Arab tribes]] of [[Ethiopia]]. Our [[w:Saxon Race|Saxon race]] can supply the [[w:Athlete|athlete]], but not the [[w:Apollo|Apollo]].]]
*The nearest approach I have ever seen to the symmetry of ancient [[sculpture]] was among the [[w:Arab tribe|Arab tribes]] of [[Ethiopia]]. Our [[w:Saxon Race|Saxon race]] can supply the [[w:Athlete|athlete]], but not the [[w:Apollo|Apollo]].
**[[Bayard Taylor]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=pNk6AQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA534  Putnam's Monthly, Volume 4], p. 534.

== U ==
== V ==

*The universe is built on a plan the profound symmetry of which is somehow present in the inner structure of our [[intellect]].
**[[Paul Valery]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=8qIZuhFlAK0C&amp;pg=PA2456 Gaither's Dictionary of Scientific Quotations: A Collection of Approximately ...], p. 2456.

== W ==
[[File:Hoag's object.jpg|right|thumb|[[w:Steven Weinberg|Steven Weinberg]]: We have simply arrived too late in the history of the universe to see this [[w:primordial|primordial]] [[simplicity]] easily … But although the symmetries are hidden from us, we can sense that they are latent in nature, governing everything about us. That's the most exciting idea I know: that nature is much simpler than it looks. Nothing makes me more hopeful that our generation of human beings may actually hold the key to the universe in our hands—that perhaps in our lifetimes we may be able to tell why all of what we see in this immense universe of [[w:Galaxy|galaxies]] and particles is logically inevitable.]]

*Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.
**[[Derek Walcott]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=wqVZvo5BH0EC&amp;pg=PA26 Derek Walcott: Politics and Poetics], p. 26.

*We have simply arrived too late in the history of the universe to see this [[w:primordial|primordial]] [[simplicity]] easily … But although the symmetries are hidden from us, we can sense that they are latent in nature, governing everything about us. That's the most exciting idea I know: that nature is much simpler than it looks. Nothing makes me more hopeful that our generation of human beings may actually hold the key to the universe in our hands—that perhaps in our lifetimes we may be able to tell why all of what we see in this immense universe of [[w:Galaxy|galaxies]] and particles is logically inevitable.
**[[w:Steven Weinberg|Steven Weinberg]], in  [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=nNZXAAAAYAAJ The key to the universe: a report on the new physics], p. 185.

*Symmetry is a vast subject, significant in [[art]] and [[nature]]. [[Mathematics]] lies at its root, and it would be hard to find a better one on which to demonstrate the working of the mathematical [[intellect]].
**[[Hermann Weyl]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=EHRDnU29PO8C&amp;pg=PA269  Mathematics and Culture I], p. 269.

== X ==

*Thus the [[w:Scale (music)|musical scale]] is a convention which circumscribes the area of potentiality and permits construction within those limits in its own particular symmetry.
**[[Iannis Xenakis]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=y6lL3I0vmMwC&amp;pg=PA132 Formalized Music: Thought and Mathematics in Composition], p. 132.

== Y ==

*[[Nature]] seems to take advantage of the simple mathematical representations of the symmetry laws. When one pauses to consider the elegance and the beautiful perfection of the mathematical reasoning involved and contrast it with the complex and far-reaching physical consequences, a deep sense of respect for the power of the symmetry laws never fails to develop.
**[[w:Chen-Ning Yang|Chen-Ning Yang]], in [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=4abygoxLdwQC&amp;pg=PA339 Mathematically Speaking: A Dictionary of Quotations]

*By the late Nineties, we had become a more [[visual]] nation. Big-money taste moved to global standards - new [[architecture]], design and show-off contemporary art. The Sloane domestic [[w:aesthetics|aesthetic]] - symmetry, class symbolism and brown furniture - became as unfashionable as it had been hot in the early Eighties.
**[[w:Peter York|Peter York]], in [http://www.scribd.com/doc/52310114/Great-Marketing-Stories Great Marketing Stories - Scribd]

== Z ==
== Anonymous ==
*Time could not mar the [[perfect]] symmetry of those walls. Moonlight can play odd tricks upon the [[fancy]], and suddenly it seemed to me that [[light]] came from the windows.
**In [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=8ad5Z_BLi90C&amp;pg=PA203 Transcript of Listening Drills], p. 203.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Wiktionary|symmetry}}
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:24:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AC9016</username>
        <id>2870313</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes about Manning */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13907" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Chelsea Manning on 18 May 2017.jpg|thumb|Manning 2017]]

'''[[w:Chelsea Manning|Chelsea Elizabeth Manning]]''' (born [[December 17]], [[1987]]) is a [[w:United States Army|United States Army]] soldier who was convicted in July 2013 of violations of the [[w:Espionage Act of 1917|Espionage Act]] and other offenses, after releasing [[w:#Publication of leaked material|the largest set of classified documents ever leaked to the public]]. Manning was sentenced in August 2013 to 35 years confinement with the possibility of [[w:parole|parole]] in eight years, and to be [[w:dishonorable discharge|dishonorably discharged]] from the Army.

== Quotes ==

*The most alarming aspect of the video to me was the seeming delightful blood-lust the aerial weapons team happened to have. They dehumanized the individuals they were engaging and seemed to not value human life, and referred to them as quote-unquote 'dead bastards,' and congratulated each other on their ability to kill in large numbers. ... For me, this seemed similar to a child torturing ants with a magnifying glass....I believed that if the general public, especially the American public, had access to the information contained [in the leaks], it could spark a domestic debate on the role of the military and our foreign policy in general as it related to Iraq and Afghanistan.''&quot;
**[[Amy Goodman]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013) This quote is from a  statement made at the start of Manning's court-martial. He was commented specifically on the [[w:July 12, 2007, Baghdad airstrike|Apache attack helicopter video that recorded the slaughter of a dozen civilians in Baghdad on 12 July 2007]]// thanks to an unauthorized audio recording of his statement, anonymously leaked.

* I don't cooperate with grand juries or the police ''ever''. That's just my standard policy.
* The most violent people in prison, time and time again, were the prison staff. Always. There was never an exception, right? [...] When you have the state, you know, to back you up, and you have state immunity, and you have authority over another person, like, almost absolute authority over another person, and you've stripped the other person's credibility away, then you can just do whatever you want. And the things that they do are just cruel. You know, sure, not every prison guard is cruel, but every single one of them looks the other way at the ones who are and backs up the ones who are.
* It's not like there's anything wrong with the lockdowns, right, and I wanna be clear about that. That's come up before, it's like, no, the lockdowns were necessary for public health reasons, 'cause we had a mass casualty event hit the United States and we needed to try to keep people safe. But the impact of being locked down for a significant chunk of time is going to produce an added layer of that trauma. And we just kind of have to take care of ourselves and be gentle with ourselves.
* It turns out that being on the left and having actual principles isn't very profitable.
* This is the thing about the right, is that they just wanna win. If there's anything I've learned from being around people on the far-right my entire life, it is that they just wanna own libs. They just want their enemies to lose. And if that means killing themselves in the process, then yeah, let's go!
** Interview with QAnon Anonymous Podcast, 2 June 2021

=== Letter to Barack Obama (2013) ===
:&lt;small&gt; Letter to [[Barack Obama]] (22 August 2013) [http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/full-text-bradley-manning-s-letter-to-president-obama-requesting-pardon sent to the president, as read by defense attorney David Coombs following Manning's sentencing Wednesday]&lt;/small&gt;

* The decisions that I made in 2010 were made out of a concern for my country and the world that we live in. Since the tragic events of 9/11, our country has been at war. We've been at war with an enemy that chooses not to meet us on any traditional battlefield, and due to this fact we've had to alter our methods of combating the risks posed to us and our way of life.

* I initially agreed with these methods and chose to volunteer to help defend my country. It was not until I was in Iraq and reading secret military reports on a daily basis that I started to question the morality of what we were doing. It was at this time I realized that (in) our efforts to meet the risk posed to us by the enemy, we have forgotten our humanity. We consciously elected to devalue human life both in Iraq and Afghanistan. When we engaged those that we perceived were the enemy, we sometimes killed innocent civilians. Whenever we killed innocent civilians, instead of accepting responsibility for our conduct, we elected to hide behind the veil of national security and classified information in order to avoid any public accountability.

* In our zeal to kill the enemy, we internally debated the definition of torture. We held individuals at Guantanamo for years without due process. We inexplicably turned a blind eye to torture and executions by the Iraqi government. And we stomached countless other acts in the name of our war on terror.

* Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power. When these cries of patriotism drown out any logically based dissension, it is usually the American soldier that is given the order to carry out some ill-conceived mission.

* Our nation has had similar dark moments for the virtues of democracy -- the Trail of Tears, the Dred Scott decision, McCarthyism, and the Japanese-American internment camps -- to mention a few. I am confident that many of the actions since 9/11 will one day be viewed in a similar light.

*As the late Howard Zinn once said, &quot;There is not a flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.&quot;

*I understand that my actions violated the law; I regret if my actions hurt anyone or harmed the United States. It was never my intent to hurt anyone. I only wanted to help people. When I chose to disclose classified information, I did so out of a love for my country and a sense of duty to others.

*If you deny my request for a pardon, I will serve my time knowing that sometimes you have to pay a heavy price to live in a free society. I will gladly pay that price if it means we could have a country that is truly conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all women and men are created equal.

==Quotes about Manning==
&lt;small&gt; (most recent first)&lt;/small&gt;

*You won’t see the following list of [[WikiLeaks]]’ accomplishments anywhere on your corporate airwaves—in the same way the [[mainstream media]] did not begin every report about Chelsea Manning’s trial with a rundown of the [[war crimes]] she helped reveal.... And Chelsea Manning’s most famous leak is arguably also WikiLeaks’ most famous leak, so it’ll top this list:  1) That would be the notorious [[w:Collateral Murder|Collateral Murder]] video, showing U.S. air crew gunning down '''unarmed Iraqi civilians''' with an enthusiasm that couldn’t be matched by an eight year-old winning a five-foot-tall stuffed animal at the county fair. They murdered between 12 and 18 innocent people, two of them Reuters journalists.  Zero people have been arrested for the collateral murders. Yet [[Julian Assange]] has been arrested for revealing them. 
**[[Lee Camp]], [https://www.mintpressnews.com/lee-camp18-ways-julian-assange-wikileaks-changed-the-world/258790/ 18 Ways Julian Assange Changed the World, ''MintPress News''] (24 May 2019)

* The episode of Chelsea Manning and the Harvard Institute of Politics fellowship is instructive. You may recall that Bradley Manning, as he was known back when serving as a low-level United States Army intelligence analyst, chose to violate his oath and betray his country. He downloaded an astonishing quantity of classified information about the American efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan and sent it all to WikiLeaks. Manning was tried, convicted, and imprisoned for nearly seven years. Deservedly so. From a reputational standpoint, that probably should have been the end of it. But it was not: the prisoner Bradley Manning became Chelsea Manning, a transgender woman, and the societal forces that endorse and celebrate victimhood transformed a wartime traitor into a persecuted hero. When Chelsea Manning emerged from prison in May 2017, the perceptual transformation was complete.
** [[Dan Crenshaw]], ''Fortitude'' (2020), p. 54-55

*Our [[Government|governments]] feel threatened by Chelsea Manning, [[Edward Snowden]], and Julian  Assange, because they are whistleblowers, [[Journalism|journalists]], and [[human rights]] [[Activism|activists]] who have provided solid evidence for the [[tyranny|abuse, corruption]], and [[war crimes]] of the powerful, for which they are now being systematically defamed and persecuted. They are the political dissidents of the West, and their persecution is today’s witch-hunt, because they threaten the privileges of unsupervised state power that has gone out of control.   The cases of Manning, Snowden, Assange and others are the most important test of our time for the credibility of Western [[rule of law]] and democracy and our commitment to human rights.... It is about the [[integrity]] of the rule of law, the credibility of our  democracies and, ultimately, about our own human dignity and the future of our children.
**[https://www.counterpunch.org/2021/12/29/pen-america-and-the-betrayal-of-julian-assange/ PEN America and the Betrayal of Julian Assange], by [[Chris Hedges]], ''CounterPunch'', (December 29, 2021) 

*As we have seen over the last seven years, time and time again, the European countries and many others, do not have the political will or clout to stand up for what they know is right, and will eventually cave into the Unites States’ will. We have watched Chelsea Manning being returned to jail and to solitary confinement, so we must not  be naive in our thinking: surely, this is the future for Julian Assange.... we could see full well [[War crimes|the atrocities of war]]. The release of the files brought to our doors the atrocities our governments carried out through media. It is my strong belief that this is the true essence of an activist...  It is my great shame I live in an era where people like [[Julian Assange]], [[Edward Snowden]], Chelsea Manning and anyone willing to open our eyes to the [[War crime|atrocities of war]], is likely to be hunted like an animal by governments, punished and silenced.
**[[Mairead Maguire]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/mairead-maguire-requests-permission-visit-assange  ''Requests Permission to Visit Assange, Nominated for Nobel Prize,  Global Research'',]   (14 April 2019)

*[[Daniel Ellsberg]] exposed the [[w:Pentagon Papers|Pentagon Papers]]. He just released a statement regarding Chelsea Manning, who was jailed Friday by the U.S. government for refusing to comply with a subpoena to testify in front of a grand jury believed to be investigating WikiLeaks’s publishing activities.  Manning revealed information that [[WikiLeaks]] made public, including the “[[w:Collateral Murder|Collateral Murder]]” video: [http://www.collateralmurder.wikileaks.org collateralmurder.wikileaks.org].  “Chelsea Manning is again acting heroically in the name of press freedom, and it’s a travesty that she has been sent back to jail for refusing to testify to a grand jury.  An investigation into WikiLeaks for publishing is a grave threat to all journalists’ rights, and Chelsea is doing us all a service for fighting it. She has already been tortured, spent years in jail, and has suffered more than enough. She should be released immediately.” 
**[[Institute for Public Accuracy|The Institute for Public Accuracy]]:  [http://accuracy.org/release/ellsberg-manning-acting-heroically-for-press-freedom-in-wikileaks-case/  '''Ellsberg: Manning Acting Heroically for Press Freedom in WikiLeaks Case,''']  (8 March 2019)

*Manning's alleged disclosures have exposed [[war crimes]], sparked revolutions and induced democratic reforms... He is the quintessential [[w:whistleblower.|whistle-blower.]]
**[[Julian Assange]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013)

*Manning's leak gave Reuters, and the world, a graphic view of the horror of modern war, of the violent death of two media workers in the line of duty... Manning took incredibly courageous actions to release data, to pierce the fog of war, to make public the machinations of modern American war-making. [[Edward Snowden]] has exposed the sophistication and extraordinary reach of the US surveillance state, cracking down on those who would dare to release information. And [[Julian Assange]] sits within the four walls of his embassy redoubt, persecuted for the crime of publishing. Yet those who planned the wars, those who committed war crimes, those who conduct illegal spying, for now, walk free.
**[[Amy Goodman]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Manning, Chelsea}}
[[Category:1987 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Whistleblowers]]
[[Category:Soldiers]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Atheists from the United States]]
[[Category:People charged with crimes]]
[[Category:Prisoners]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:People from Oklahoma]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]</text>
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      <text bytes="15905" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Chelsea Manning on 18 May 2017.jpg|thumb|Manning 2017]]

'''[[w:Chelsea Manning|Chelsea Elizabeth Manning]]''' (born [[December 17]], [[1987]]) is a [[w:United States Army|United States Army]] soldier who was convicted in July 2013 of violations of the [[w:Espionage Act of 1917|Espionage Act]] and other offenses, after releasing [[w:#Publication of leaked material|the largest set of classified documents ever leaked to the public]]. Manning was sentenced in August 2013 to 35 years confinement with the possibility of [[w:parole|parole]] in eight years, and to be [[w:dishonorable discharge|dishonorably discharged]] from the Army.

== Quotes ==

*The most alarming aspect of the video to me was the seeming delightful blood-lust the aerial weapons team happened to have. They dehumanized the individuals they were engaging and seemed to not value human life, and referred to them as quote-unquote 'dead bastards,' and congratulated each other on their ability to kill in large numbers. ... For me, this seemed similar to a child torturing ants with a magnifying glass....I believed that if the general public, especially the American public, had access to the information contained [in the leaks], it could spark a domestic debate on the role of the military and our foreign policy in general as it related to Iraq and Afghanistan.''&quot;
**[[Amy Goodman]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013) This quote is from a  statement made at the start of Manning's court-martial. He was commented specifically on the [[w:July 12, 2007, Baghdad airstrike|Apache attack helicopter video that recorded the slaughter of a dozen civilians in Baghdad on 12 July 2007]]// thanks to an unauthorized audio recording of his statement, anonymously leaked.

* I don't cooperate with grand juries or the police ''ever''. That's just my standard policy.
* The most violent people in prison, time and time again, were the prison staff. Always. There was never an exception, right? [...] When you have the state, you know, to back you up, and you have state immunity, and you have authority over another person, like, almost absolute authority over another person, and you've stripped the other person's credibility away, then you can just do whatever you want. And the things that they do are just cruel. You know, sure, not every prison guard is cruel, but every single one of them looks the other way at the ones who are and backs up the ones who are.
* It's not like there's anything wrong with the lockdowns, right, and I wanna be clear about that. That's come up before, it's like, no, the lockdowns were necessary for public health reasons, 'cause we had a mass casualty event hit the United States and we needed to try to keep people safe. But the impact of being locked down for a significant chunk of time is going to produce an added layer of that trauma. And we just kind of have to take care of ourselves and be gentle with ourselves.
* It turns out that being on the left and having actual principles isn't very profitable.
* This is the thing about the right, is that they just wanna win. If there's anything I've learned from being around people on the far-right my entire life, it is that they just wanna own libs. They just want their enemies to lose. And if that means killing themselves in the process, then yeah, let's go!
** Interview with QAnon Anonymous Podcast, 2 June 2021

=== Letter to Barack Obama (2013) ===
:&lt;small&gt; Letter to [[Barack Obama]] (22 August 2013) [http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/full-text-bradley-manning-s-letter-to-president-obama-requesting-pardon sent to the president, as read by defense attorney David Coombs following Manning's sentencing Wednesday]&lt;/small&gt;

* The decisions that I made in 2010 were made out of a concern for my country and the world that we live in. Since the tragic events of 9/11, our country has been at war. We've been at war with an enemy that chooses not to meet us on any traditional battlefield, and due to this fact we've had to alter our methods of combating the risks posed to us and our way of life.

* I initially agreed with these methods and chose to volunteer to help defend my country. It was not until I was in Iraq and reading secret military reports on a daily basis that I started to question the morality of what we were doing. It was at this time I realized that (in) our efforts to meet the risk posed to us by the enemy, we have forgotten our humanity. We consciously elected to devalue human life both in Iraq and Afghanistan. When we engaged those that we perceived were the enemy, we sometimes killed innocent civilians. Whenever we killed innocent civilians, instead of accepting responsibility for our conduct, we elected to hide behind the veil of national security and classified information in order to avoid any public accountability.

* In our zeal to kill the enemy, we internally debated the definition of torture. We held individuals at Guantanamo for years without due process. We inexplicably turned a blind eye to torture and executions by the Iraqi government. And we stomached countless other acts in the name of our war on terror.

* Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power. When these cries of patriotism drown out any logically based dissension, it is usually the American soldier that is given the order to carry out some ill-conceived mission.

* Our nation has had similar dark moments for the virtues of democracy -- the Trail of Tears, the Dred Scott decision, McCarthyism, and the Japanese-American internment camps -- to mention a few. I am confident that many of the actions since 9/11 will one day be viewed in a similar light.

*As the late Howard Zinn once said, &quot;There is not a flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.&quot;

*I understand that my actions violated the law; I regret if my actions hurt anyone or harmed the United States. It was never my intent to hurt anyone. I only wanted to help people. When I chose to disclose classified information, I did so out of a love for my country and a sense of duty to others.

*If you deny my request for a pardon, I will serve my time knowing that sometimes you have to pay a heavy price to live in a free society. I will gladly pay that price if it means we could have a country that is truly conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all women and men are created equal.

==Quotes about Manning==
&lt;small&gt; (most recent first)&lt;/small&gt;

*You won’t see the following list of [[WikiLeaks]]’ accomplishments anywhere on your corporate airwaves—in the same way the [[mainstream media]] did not begin every report about Chelsea Manning’s trial with a rundown of the [[war crimes]] she helped reveal.... And Chelsea Manning’s most famous leak is arguably also WikiLeaks’ most famous leak, so it’ll top this list:  1) That would be the notorious [[w:Collateral Murder|Collateral Murder]] video, showing U.S. air crew gunning down '''unarmed Iraqi civilians''' with an enthusiasm that couldn’t be matched by an eight year-old winning a five-foot-tall stuffed animal at the county fair. They murdered between 12 and 18 innocent people, two of them Reuters journalists.  Zero people have been arrested for the collateral murders. Yet [[Julian Assange]] has been arrested for revealing them. 
**[[Lee Camp]], [https://www.mintpressnews.com/lee-camp18-ways-julian-assange-wikileaks-changed-the-world/258790/ 18 Ways Julian Assange Changed the World, ''MintPress News''] (24 May 2019)

* The episode of Chelsea Manning and the Harvard Institute of Politics fellowship is instructive. You may recall that Bradley Manning, as he was known back when serving as a low-level United States Army intelligence analyst, chose to violate his oath and betray his country. He downloaded an astonishing quantity of classified information about the American efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan and sent it all to WikiLeaks. Manning was tried, convicted, and imprisoned for nearly seven years. Deservedly so. From a reputational standpoint, that probably should have been the end of it. But it was not: the prisoner Bradley Manning became Chelsea Manning, a transgender woman, and the societal forces that endorse and celebrate victimhood transformed a wartime traitor into a persecuted hero. When Chelsea Manning emerged from prison in May 2017, the perceptual transformation was complete.
** [[Dan Crenshaw]], ''Fortitude'' (2020), p. 54-55

* This was the background to the announcement on September 13, 2017, when Chelsea Manning received a visiting fellowship at the Harvard Institute of Politics. A prestigious institution was taking on board a controversial progressive celebrity- despite the fact that Manning had no experience in the very thing that the Institute of Politics specialized in: politics. Manning didn't even know much about national security, considering her time in the Army was brief and low-level. There was no evidence whatsoever that Manning's qualifications met the standard for such a position. What exactly were students expected to learn from her? How to betray their country? But Chelsea Manning was a persecuted &quot;whistleblower&quot; turned LBGTQ activist- and so Chelsea Manning was receiving elite institutional approval. It was victimhood worship manifested into reality at one of our country's most preeminent institutions.
** [[Dan Crenshaw]], ''Fortitude'' (2020), p. 55

* Luckily, the remnants of the American conscience that still believe betraying your country is actually ''not'' something to be celebrated, took action. Former CIA director Michael Morrell resigned his own Harvard fellowship. Then-CIA director [[Mike Pomeo]] canceled a public appearance at Harvard. And two days after it was announced that Chelsea Manning was a Harvard visiting fellow, it was announced that Chelsea Manning was not. Students at Harvard tried to cry foul, claiming LBGTQ discrimination. But of course that had nothing to do with it. Manning had no business being elevated to the status of Harvard fellow in the first place, and everyone knew it. That's how it should work: Victimhood should not be a cover story for crimes, excuse traitors to the country, open doors of opportunity, nor secure a Harvard visiting fellowship. For two days, Harvard was going to allow victimhood to do all those things- until people stood up to it, and the house of cards collapsed.
** [[Dan Crenshaw]], ''Fortitude'' (2020), p. 55-56

*Our [[Government|governments]] feel threatened by Chelsea Manning, [[Edward Snowden]], and Julian  Assange, because they are whistleblowers, [[Journalism|journalists]], and [[human rights]] [[Activism|activists]] who have provided solid evidence for the [[tyranny|abuse, corruption]], and [[war crimes]] of the powerful, for which they are now being systematically defamed and persecuted. They are the political dissidents of the West, and their persecution is today’s witch-hunt, because they threaten the privileges of unsupervised state power that has gone out of control.   The cases of Manning, Snowden, Assange and others are the most important test of our time for the credibility of Western [[rule of law]] and democracy and our commitment to human rights.... It is about the [[integrity]] of the rule of law, the credibility of our  democracies and, ultimately, about our own human dignity and the future of our children.
**[https://www.counterpunch.org/2021/12/29/pen-america-and-the-betrayal-of-julian-assange/ PEN America and the Betrayal of Julian Assange], by [[Chris Hedges]], ''CounterPunch'', (December 29, 2021) 

*As we have seen over the last seven years, time and time again, the European countries and many others, do not have the political will or clout to stand up for what they know is right, and will eventually cave into the Unites States’ will. We have watched Chelsea Manning being returned to jail and to solitary confinement, so we must not  be naive in our thinking: surely, this is the future for Julian Assange.... we could see full well [[War crimes|the atrocities of war]]. The release of the files brought to our doors the atrocities our governments carried out through media. It is my strong belief that this is the true essence of an activist...  It is my great shame I live in an era where people like [[Julian Assange]], [[Edward Snowden]], Chelsea Manning and anyone willing to open our eyes to the [[War crime|atrocities of war]], is likely to be hunted like an animal by governments, punished and silenced.
**[[Mairead Maguire]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/mairead-maguire-requests-permission-visit-assange  ''Requests Permission to Visit Assange, Nominated for Nobel Prize,  Global Research'',]   (14 April 2019)

*[[Daniel Ellsberg]] exposed the [[w:Pentagon Papers|Pentagon Papers]]. He just released a statement regarding Chelsea Manning, who was jailed Friday by the U.S. government for refusing to comply with a subpoena to testify in front of a grand jury believed to be investigating WikiLeaks’s publishing activities.  Manning revealed information that [[WikiLeaks]] made public, including the “[[w:Collateral Murder|Collateral Murder]]” video: [http://www.collateralmurder.wikileaks.org collateralmurder.wikileaks.org].  “Chelsea Manning is again acting heroically in the name of press freedom, and it’s a travesty that she has been sent back to jail for refusing to testify to a grand jury.  An investigation into WikiLeaks for publishing is a grave threat to all journalists’ rights, and Chelsea is doing us all a service for fighting it. She has already been tortured, spent years in jail, and has suffered more than enough. She should be released immediately.” 
**[[Institute for Public Accuracy|The Institute for Public Accuracy]]:  [http://accuracy.org/release/ellsberg-manning-acting-heroically-for-press-freedom-in-wikileaks-case/  '''Ellsberg: Manning Acting Heroically for Press Freedom in WikiLeaks Case,''']  (8 March 2019)

*Manning's alleged disclosures have exposed [[war crimes]], sparked revolutions and induced democratic reforms... He is the quintessential [[w:whistleblower.|whistle-blower.]]
**[[Julian Assange]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013)

*Manning's leak gave Reuters, and the world, a graphic view of the horror of modern war, of the violent death of two media workers in the line of duty... Manning took incredibly courageous actions to release data, to pierce the fog of war, to make public the machinations of modern American war-making. [[Edward Snowden]] has exposed the sophistication and extraordinary reach of the US surveillance state, cracking down on those who would dare to release information. And [[Julian Assange]] sits within the four walls of his embassy redoubt, persecuted for the crime of publishing. Yet those who planned the wars, those who committed war crimes, those who conduct illegal spying, for now, walk free.
**[[Amy Goodman]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/01/manning-snowden-assange-expose-wrongdoing  ''Manning, Snowden and Assange were the ones who took risks to expose crime'']  (1 Aug 2013)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Manning, Chelsea}}
[[Category:1987 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Whistleblowers]]
[[Category:Soldiers]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Atheists from the United States]]
[[Category:People charged with crimes]]
[[Category:Prisoners]]
[[Category:LGBT people]]
[[Category:People from Oklahoma]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]</text>
      <sha1>am805jy5kqeitnhtq0jpcdoazx3ew3a</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Los Angeles</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>157601</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154549</id>
      <parentid>3154498</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:46:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by MdsShakil</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13410" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag of Los Angeles, California.svg|thumb|In L.A., we wear [[w:Chuck Taylor All-Stars|Chucks]], not [[w:Bally Shoe|Ballies]]... Let me the serenade the streets of L.A. ~ [[Tupac Shakur|Tupac A. Shakur]]]]
[[File:Seal of Los Angeles.svg|thumb|In this land of the pretty-pretty, the virility is in the barbarisms, the vulgarities, it is in the huge billboards, the screamers of the neon lighting, the shouting farm-utensil colors of the gas stations and monster drugstores, it is in the swing of the sports cars, hot rods, convertibles. ~ [[Norman Mailer]]]]
'''[[w:Los Angeles|Los Angeles]]''', officially the '''City of Los Angeles''', often known by its initials '''L.A.''', is a major city in and the most populous city in the [[w:U.S. state|U.S. state]] of [[California]] and the second-most populous in the [[United States]], after [[New York City|New York]], with a population at the 2010 United States Census of 3,792,621. It is the county seat of Los Angeles County, and is known as the &quot;Entertainment Capital of the World&quot;, due to its being the traditional center of the U.S. film industry.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== Quotes ==
===B===
* According to CoreLogic, the median house price in Los Angeles is $456,000. This compares with a median price of $187,000 in Houston. There is a similar story for other cities across the state. I won’t even mention house prices in San Francisco. Higher housing costs are a predictable result of restricting supply; it is far more difficult to arrange a new development in San Francisco, Oakland, Los Angeles or other California population centers than in Texas. Builders will have to meet environmental restrictions and density limits in many areas. The Census Bureau reports that between 1980 and 2010 the number of housing units in Texas increased by 81.9 percent, compared with just 41.3 percent in California.
**[[w:Dean Baker|Dean Baker]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20140616034836/http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2014/6/texas-miracle-economyjobswages.html &quot;Tall tales about Texas&quot;] (13 June 2014), ''Al-Jazeera America''

===C===
[[File:Hollywood Sign PB050006.jpg|thumb|In Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. ~ [[George Carlin]]]]

*Are you with your friends on a rooftop laughing, smoking in L.A., trying to kick the habit.
**[[Alessia Cara]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dXz3aI5Ctw &quot;Find My Boy&quot;], ''In the Meantime'' (2021), New York: Def Jam Recordings 

* In Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.
** [[George Carlin]], [https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Droppings-George-Carlin/dp/0786883219 ''Brain Droppings''] (1997)

===F===
* Los Angeles has always been a natural home for pornography, even back in the days.
** Devin Faraci, [http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2011/08/23/why-california-is-porns-home-state &quot;Why California Is Porn's Home State&quot;] (23 August 2011), ''Birth. Movies. Death.''

===H===
* I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in [[New York City|New York]]. &quot;What're y'all doin'? Talkin' to TV producers, huh? Bummer. Me? I'm readin' a book! Yeah, we're thinkin' back East! Yeah, we're evolving. Is that &quot;The Big One&quot; I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum, bye!&quot;
** [[Bill Hicks]], &quot;Goodbye, Lizard Scum&quot; ''Arizona Bay''

===M===
[[File:Manhattan Pier.jpg|thumb|The world's biggest third-class city. ~ [[John D. MacDonald]]]]
[[File:Phase_1_of_Skid_Row_Super_Mural.jpg|thumb|It was Christmastime in Los Angeles in 1902. The Los Angeles Times sent a reporter out to the saloon-lined intersection of First Street and Los Angeles Street, more commonly known to Times readers as the “Hobo Corner,” epicenter of Victorian LA’s Skid Row. “It was the toughest night of the year on the “Hobo Corner,’” the sensation-minded reporter wrote. “The tenderloin was literally swarming with tramps. Most of them were beastly drunk and the rest were sorry they weren’t. They were filthy dirty; some of them fairly squirmed with tenants—their steady company as it were.” ~ Hadley Meares]]
[[File:River_Station_(00046632).jpg|thumb|Thousands of men, many displaced veterans of the [[American Civil War|Civil War]], began to “ride the rails,” stowing away in empty boxcars and jumping trains. Because of this, many cities saw a great increase in the number of transient visitors. &lt;br&gt; They tended to congregate around or nearby the rail yards in cheap hotels, saloons, and brothels which sprung up to service them. In 1889, it was reported that 18 “tramps” had been arrested at the Southern Pacific Yard in one morning and would be forced to work on the chain gang, ironically building roads for the city. ~ Hadley Meares]]
* [Los Angeles is] the world's biggest third-class city.
** [[John D. MacDonald]], ''A Deadly Shade of Gold''

* Say, what's up. Straight up, holler! What, I am [[w:California|C-A]]. [[w:San Diego County, California|Day-Go]], [[w:Los Angeles County, California|L.A.]], to [[w:San Francisco Bay Area|the Bay]]. Yeah, it's my shit.
** [[w:Problem (rapper)|Jason Martin]], [http://genius.com/Problem-say-that-then-lyrics &quot;Say That Then&quot;] (June 2013), ''[[w:Understand Me|Understand Me]]'' (December 2013)

* One gets the impression that people come to Los Angeles in order to divorce themselves from the past, here to live or try to live in the rootless pleasure world of an adult child.
** [[Norman Mailer]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a3858/superman-supermarket/ Superman Comes to the Supermarket]. (November 1960)

* Los Angeles is the home of self-expression, but the artists are middle-class and middling-minded; no passions will calcify here for years in the gloom to be revealed a decade later as the tessellations of hard and fertile work. ... In this land of the pretty-pretty, the virility is in the barbarisms, the vulgarities, it is in the huge billboards, the screamers of the neon lighting, the shouting farm-utensil colors of the gas stations and monster drugstores, it is in the swing of the sports cars, hot rods, convertibles.
** [[Norman Mailer]], ''[http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a3858/superman-supermarket/ Superman Comes to the Supermarket]. (November 1960)

* Then, she take it all in. Best kush filling my joints. Say, I sound too L.A.? That's the point!
** [[w:Problem (rapper)|Jason Martin]], [http://genius.com/Problem-say-that-then-lyrics &quot;Say That Then&quot;] (June 2013), ''[[w:Understand Me|Understand Me]]'' (December 2013)

* L.A. reminds me of that friend who just breaks into your house without knocking and eats all your food. You can't stop complaining about him when he's there, but when he leaves, you just wish he'd come by and bug you. L.A.'s got a heightened sense of color and joy, so much so that it becomes annoying. It makes me emotionally itchy.
** [[John Mayer]], ''Rolling Stone'' magazine, Mayer, John (May 9, 2002), &quot;RAVES&quot;. ''Rolling Stone''. (895):23

* It was Christmastime in Los Angeles in 1902. The Los Angeles Times sent a reporter out to the saloon-lined intersection of First Street and Los Angeles Street, more commonly known to Times readers as the “Hobo Corner,” epicenter of Victorian LA’s Skid Row. “It was the toughest night of the year on the “Hobo Corner,’” the sensation-minded reporter wrote. “The tenderloin was literally swarming with tramps. Most of them were beastly drunk and the rest were sorry they weren’t. They were filthy dirty; some of them fairly squirmed with tenants—their steady company as it were.”
** Hadley Meares, [https://la.curbed.com/2017/12/14/16756190/skid-row-homeless-history “The early days of Skid Row, once known as ‘Hobo Corner’”], ''LA Curbed'', (Dec 14, 2017).

* In 1876, Los Angeles became the end of the line of the transcontinental railroad. According to historian Glen Creason, the railroads were constructed east of LA’s historic core. That year, the main Southern Pacific Rail Yard and passenger terminus, known as [[w:River Station|River Station]] (now the site of the [[w:Los Angeles State Historic Park|Los Angeles State Historic Park]]), opened. In 1888, it was joined by the Arcade Station at Fourth and Alameda. &lt;br&gt; Thousands of men, many displaced veterans of the [[American Civil War|Civil War]], began to “ride the rails,” stowing away in empty boxcars and jumping trains. Because of this, many cities saw a great increase in the number of transient visitors. &lt;br&gt; They tended to congregate around or nearby the rail yards in cheap hotels, saloons, and brothels which sprung up to service them. In 1889, it was reported that 18 “tramps” had been arrested at the Southern Pacific Yard in one morning and would be forced to work on the chain gang, ironically building roads for the city. &lt;br&gt; LA leaders knew what to blame for this “tramp harvest”—the increased mobility offered by the railroads.
** Hadley Meares, [https://la.curbed.com/2017/12/14/16756190/skid-row-homeless-history “The early days of Skid Row, once known as ‘Hobo Corner’”], ''LA Curbed'', (Dec 14, 2017).

* By 1902, it was evident that something had to be done. “The hobos are also killing that particular part of Los Angeles in which they have settled like a blight,” the LA Times reported. “The police would have an easier time down in the tenderloin if the city would put in a few more electric lights. There is seldom any cussedness going on where there is plenty of illumination. Los Angeles Street is as dark as a pocket.”
** Hadley Meares, [https://la.curbed.com/2017/12/14/16756190/skid-row-homeless-history “The early days of Skid Row, once known as ‘Hobo Corner’”], ''LA Curbed'', (Dec 14, 2017).

* They call it the City of Angels. Funny. In my 30 years here, I haven't seen a single one. My old friend Henry Wilson used to say, people dare to dream here. He liked that about L.A. I'd say, bull, dreaming will get you killed. Maybe I was right.
** ''[[True Crime: Streets of LA]]'' (November 2003), written by Peter Morawiec and Micah Linton, Activision

===P===
* I am [[w:California|C-A]]. [[w:Sacramento County, California|Sac-Town]], [[w:Seaside, California|Seaside]], [[w:Los Angeles County California|L.A.]]!
** [[w:Glasses Malone|Charles Phillip Ivory Penniman]], [http://genius.com/Problem-say-that-then-lyrics &quot;Say That Then&quot;] (June 2013), ''[[w:Understand Me|Understand Me]]'' (December 2013)

===R===
[[File:LA_Skyline_Mountains2.jpg|thumb|The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles. ~ [[w:Rick Riordan|Rick Riordan]]]]
* The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles.
** [[w:Rick Riordan|Rick Riordan]], ''The Lightning Thief''

===S===
* In L.A., we wear Chucks, not [[w:Bally Shoe|Ballies]]... Let me the serenade the streets of L.A.
** [[Tupac Shakur|Tupac A. Shakur]], [https://kelyrics.com/lyrics/2pac/california-love-feat-dr-dre-roger-troutman.html &quot;California Love&quot;] (1995)

* This time of year, the whole crazy city could go in one big fire storm. There were times that he almost wished that it would. He hated this smoggy, tawdry Babylon of a city, its endless tangle of freeways, the strange-looking houses, the filthy air, the thick, choking, glossy foliage everywhere, the drugs, the booze, the divorces, the laziness, the sleaziness, the porno shops and the naked encounter parlors and the massage joints, the weird people wearing their weird clothes and driving their weird cars and cutting their hair in weird ways. There was a cheapness, a trashiness, about everything here, he thought. Even the mansions and the fancy restaurants were that way: hollow, like slick movie sets. He sometimes felt that the trashiness bothered him more than the out-and-out evil. If you kept sight of your own values you could do battle with evil, but trashiness slipped up around you and infiltrated your soul without your even knowing it. He hoped that his sojourn in Los Angeles was not doing that to him.
** [[w:Robert Silverberg|Robert Silverberg]], ''Against Babylon'' in ''[[w:Omni_(magazine)|Omni]]'' (May 1986)

* I live in the Mexican part of L.A.; it's called L.A.
** [[w:Bobby Slayton|Bobby Slayton]], [http://www.shayne-michael.com/links.php?searchFor=Bobby%20Slayton&amp;findBio=full&amp;showQuotes=Yes]

* For all its power and wealth and contrasting poverty and powerlessness, for all its size and complexity, Los Angeles is a strongly non-arrogant community, willing to shift and re-examine its problems, indeed its fundamental premises. 
** [[w:Kevin Starr|Kevin Starr]], [http://libraryarchives.metro.net/DPGTL/lacity/1988-LA2000-city-for-the-future.pdf ''LA 2000: A City For the Future''] (1988)

===W===
[[File:Lupine_in_Los_Angeles_State_Historic_Park.jpg|thumb|Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. ~ [[Frank Lloyd Wright]]]]
* Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
** [[Frank Lloyd Wright]] {{fact}}

==See also==
* [[California]]
* [[San Francisco]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikivoyage}}
*{{Official website|https://www.lacity.org/}}
[[Category:Cities in the United States]]
[[Category:California]]
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    <title>Weather</title>
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      <text bytes="41934" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Stormclouds.jpg|thumb|I feel so much depends on the weather, so is it raining in your bedroom? ~ [[w:Scott Weiland|Scott Weiland]]]]
'''[[w:Weather|Weather]]''' is the state of the [[w:Atmosphere|atmosphere]], to the degree that it is [[w:Hot|hot]] or [[w:Cold|cold]], [[w:Wet|wet]] or [[w:Dry|dry]], [[calm]] or [[stormy]], [[w:Clear|clear]] or [[cloud]]y. Weather, seen from an [[w:Anthropological|anthropological]] [[w:Perspective (visual)|perspective]], is something all [[humans]] in the [[world]] constantly experience through their [[senses]], at least while being outside. Weather generally refers to day-to-day [[w:Temperature|temperature]]  and [[w:Precipitation|precipitation]] activity, whereas [[w:Climate|climate]] is the term for the average atmospheric conditions over longer periods of time. When used without qualification, &quot;weather&quot;, is generally understood to mean the weather of [[Earth]]

__NOTOC__
:&lt;small&gt;'''CONTENT'''&lt;/small&gt; : [[#A - F|A - F]] , [[#G - L|G - L]] , [[#M - R|M - R]] , [[#S - Z|S - Z]] , [[#See also|See also]] , [[#External links|External links]]

== Quotes ==
:''Quotes are arranged alphabetically by author''

=== A - F ===
[[File:Nepali_farmer.jpg|thumb|We often hear of bad weather, but in [[reality]] no weather is [[bad]]. It is all [[w:Delightful|delightful]], though in different ways. Some weather may be bad for [[w:Farmers|farmers]].- [[John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury]]]]
[[File:2005-09-22-10PM_CDT_Hurricane_Rita_3_day_path.png|right|thumb|My [[w:Novels|novels]] offer an extreme [[hypothesis]] which future events may disprove — or confirm. They're in the nature of long-range weather [[w:Weather forecasting|forecasts]]. - [[J. G. Ballard]].]]
[[File:Climate change-es.svg|thumb|upright=1.5|WEATHER, n. The [[w:Climate|climate]] of an hour....A permanent topic of [[conversation]] among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked [[w:Arboreal|arboreal]] [[ancestors]] whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even [[government]]s are accessible to [[w:Persuasion|suasion]] by the rude forefathers of the [[jungle]].- [[Ambrose Bierce]].]]
[[File:Regnbyge.jpg|right|thumb|A [[cloud]] was on the [[mind]] of men, and wailing went the weather, &lt;br&gt;Yea, a sick cloud upon the [[soul]] when we were boys together.- [[G. K. Chesterton]].]]
[[File:McCall Magazine Cover, girl in rain.jpg|right|thumb|Those [[w:Weather forecasting|weathermen]], too, who tell you that [[rain]] is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the [[wrong]] [[clothing]], so get yourself a [[sexy]] [[w:Raincoat|raincoat]]. - [[Billy Connolly]].]]
[[File:Bobolink_From_The_Crossley_ID_Guide_Eastern_Birds.jpg|right|thumb|One day in the [[w:Blue|blue]]st of [[summer]] weather, &lt;br&gt; [[w:Sketch (drawing)|Sketching]] under a whispering [[oak]], &lt;br&gt; I heard five [[w:Bobolinks|bobolinks]] [[laugh]]ing together&lt;br&gt;  Over some [[w:Ornithological|ornithological]] [[joke]]. - Christopher Pearce Cranch.]]
[[File:Marley%27s_Ghost-John_Leech,_1843.jpg|right|thumb|External [[heat]] and [[w:Cold|cold]] had little [[influence]] on [[Scrooge]]. No warmth could [[warm]], no wintry weather [[w:Chill|chill]] him... - [[Charles Dickens]].]]
[[File:Lilac_Bush.jpg|right|thumb|[[April]] is the [[cruel]]est month, [[breeding]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Lilacs|lilacs]] out of the dead [[land]], mixing&lt;br&gt;[[memory]] and [[desire]], stirring&lt;br&gt;dull roots with [[spring]] [[rain]]. - [[T.S. Eliot]].]]
*Whether the weather be fine,&lt;br&gt;Whether the weather be not, &lt;br&gt; Whether the weather be [[w:Cold|cold]], &lt;br&gt; Whether  &lt;br&gt;Whatever the whether, &lt;br&gt;Whether we like it or not.
**[[Anon]] in: Judy Stubley ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=fYbQ5hpbAEYC&amp;pg=PT95 Sixty Spooky, Strange and Surprising Stories about Abingdon],'' Troubador Publishing Ltd, 1 May 2013, p. 95.

*Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a [[conversation]].
**Phil Armstrong in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=2W3By_5hhXsC&amp;pg=PA64 2 Promises]'',  2010, p. 64.

*Be praised, my [[God|Lord]], through Brothers [[Wind]] and [[Air]], and [[clouds]] and [[storms]], and all the weather, through which you give your [[w:Creatures|creatures]] [[Food|sustenance]]. Be praised, My Lord, through Sister [[Water]]; she is very useful, and [[humble]], and [[precious]], and [[pure]].
**[[Francis of Assisi ]] in: Stephen F. Brown, Khaled Anatolios ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=3KePZKSVUgwC&amp;pg=PA54 Catholicism &amp; Orthodox Christianity],'' Infobase Publishing, 2009, p. 54.

*We often hear of bad weather, but in [[reality]] no weather is [[bad]]. It is all [[w:Delightful|delightful]], though in different ways. Some weather may be bad for [[w:Farmers|farmers]].
**[[John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury]] in: William Henry Farquhar et al., ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=q6JZAAAAYAAJ Annals of Sandy Spring ...: history of a rural community in Maryland, Volume 2],'' Cushings &amp; Bailey, 1902, p. 318.
*My [[w:Novels|novels]] offer an extreme [[hypothesis]] which future events may disprove — or confirm. They're in the nature of long-range weather [[w:Weather forecasting|forecasts]].
**[[J. G. Ballard]] in: Jeannette Baxter ''[http://www.theguardian.com/books/2004/jun/22/sciencefictionfantasyandhorror.jgballard Age of unreason],'' The Guardian,. 22 June 2004.

*[[Life]]! we've been long together,&lt;br&gt; Through [[pleasant]] and through [[cloudy]] weather; &lt;br&gt; Tis hard to part when [[friends]] are dear; &lt;br&gt; Perhaps 'twill cost a sigh, a [[tear]]; &lt;br&gt; Then steal away, give little warning, &lt;br&gt; Choose thine own time; &lt;br&gt; Say not Good night, but in some brighter clime&lt;br&gt; Bid me good morning ..
**[[Anna Letitia Barbauld]] in: Andrew Ashfield ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Hni7AAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA26 Romantic Women Poets, 1770-1838, Volume 1],'' Manchester University Press, 1997, p. 26.

*It is extraordinary how many [[emotion]]al [[storms]] one may weather in safety if one is ballasted with ever so little [[gold]].
**[[Bernard Baruch]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=w_kglP9xdmIC&amp;pg=PT112 The Investor's Guidebook to Alternative Investments: The Role of Alternative Investments in Portfolio Design],'' Penguin, 1 October 2013, p. 112.

*The [[sun]] was in [[mind]] to come out but having a look at the weather it was in lost [[heart]] and went back again.
**[[Brendan Behan]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=MIwBlT4QC0IC&amp;pg=PA22 Confessions Of An Irish Rebel],'' Random House, 6 November 2008, p. 22.

*WEATHER, n. The [[w:Climate|climate]] of an hour. A permanent topic of [[conversation]] among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked [[w:Arboreal|arboreal]] [[ancestors]] whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even [[government]]s are accessible to [[w:Persuasion|suasion]] by the rude forefathers of the [[jungle]].
**[[Ambrose Bierce]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=MSumAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA49 It's All About Time]'', Lulu.com, p. 49.

*In Balder's hand [[Christ]] placed his own, &lt;br&gt;And it was [[gold]]en weather, &lt;br&gt; And on that berg as on a throne &lt;br&gt;The Brethren stood together! &lt;br&gt; And countless voices far and wide&lt;br&gt;Sang sweet beneath the [[sky]]&lt;br&gt; All that is [[beautiful]] shall [[w:Abide|abide]],&lt;br&gt; All that is base shall die!
**[[Robert Williams Buchanan]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=PFUCAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA312 Balden the beautiful, a song of divine death],'' 1877, p. 312.
*Who would true [[valour]] see &lt;br&gt; Let him come hither; &lt;br&gt; One here will constant be,&lt;br&gt; Come [[wind]], come weather. &lt;br&gt; There's no discouragement, &lt;br&gt; Shall make him once relent, &lt;br&gt; His first avow'd intent,&lt;br&gt; To be a pilgrim.
**[[John Bunyan]] in ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Wb8RAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA51 The Metropolitan Magazine, Volume 27],'' Saunders and Otley, 1840, p. 51.

*The [[w:Rogue|rogue]] is growing a little old; &lt;br&gt; Five years we've tramped through [[wind]] and weather, &lt;br&gt;  And slept out-doors when [[nights]] were [[cold]], &lt;br&gt; And ate and drank—and [[w:Starved|starved]] together.
**Thomas Campbell in'' [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=B0jQkULFDUwC&amp;pg=PA89 Collier's Cyclopedia Of Social And Commercial Information],'' 1882, p. 89.

*There are some things you learn best in [[calm]], and some in [[storm]].
**[[Willa Cather]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=56zE-ICjWysC&amp;pg=PT9 The Storm Makers]'', Hachette UK, 31 January 2013, p. 9 .

*A [[relationship]] is not like a bit of shade where one is comfortable or uncomfortable depending on the weather and the way the [[wind]] is blowing. On the contrary, it is a place of [[miracles]], where the [[magician]] makes the [[rain]] and the good weather.
**[[Émile Chartier]] in: Alain, Robert Cottrell ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=-fgeAQAAMAAJ Alain on happiness],'' Northwestern University Press, 1989, p. 100.

*You are the [[sky]]. Everything else – it’s just the weather.
**[[w:Pema Chödrön|Pema Chödrön]] in ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=ju3U3lff2UoC&amp;pg=PT158 Your Spacious Self: Clear the Clutter and Discover Who You Are],'' Hierophant Publishing, 1 October 2012, p. 158.

*A [[cloud]] was on the [[mind]] of men, and wailing went the weather, &lt;br&gt;Yea, a sick cloud upon the [[soul]] when we were boys together.
**[[G. K. Chesterton]] in ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=-Y9q3j81KcUC&amp;pg=PA7 The Man Who Was Thursday],'' Arc Manor LLC, 1 January 2009, p. 7.

*Those [[w:Weather forecasting|weathermen]], too, who tell you that [[rain]] is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the [[wrong]] [[clothing]], so get yourself a [[sexy]] [[w:Raincoat|raincoat]].
**[[Billy Connolly]] in: ''[http://www.andrewmckenna.net/only-happy-when-it-rains/ Only Happy When It Rains]'', WordPress.

*What it says I don’t know, but it sings a [[loud]] [[song]].&lt;br&gt; But [[w:Green|green]] [[leaves]], and [[w:Blossoms|blossoms]], and sunny [[warm]] weather,&lt;br&gt; And singing, and loving — all come back together.&lt;br&gt; But the [[lark]] is so brimful of gladness and [[love]], &lt;br&gt;  The green fields below him, the blue [sky above. &lt;br&gt; That he sings, and he sings; and forever sings he -&lt;br&gt;I love my love, and my love loves me!
**[[Samuel Taylor Coleridge|Coleridge]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=kG0PAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA37 The Musical Times, Volume 7]'', Novello, 1855, p. 37.

*Weather means more when you have a [[garden]]. There's nothing like listening to a [[w:Shower|shower]] and thinking how it is [[w:Soak|soak]]ing in around your green beans.
**Marcelene Cox in: Joseph Demakis ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=kOnjAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA156 the Ultimate Book of Quotations],'' Lulu.com, p. 156.

*One day in the [[w:Blue|blue]]st of [[summer]] weather, &lt;br&gt; [[w:Sketch (drawing)|Sketching]] under a whispering [[oak]], &lt;br&gt; I heard five [[w:Bobolinks|bobolinks]] [[laugh]]ing together&lt;br&gt;  Over some [[w:Ornithological|ornithological]] [[joke]].
**Christopher Pearce Cranch in: Carl C. Gaither et al., ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=zQaCSlEM-OEC&amp;pg=PA62 Gaither's Dictionary of Scientific Quotations:],'' Springer Science &amp; Business Media, 5 January 2012, p. 62.

* In discussing the state of the atmosphere following a nuclear exchange, we point especially to the effects of the many fires that would be ignited by the thousands of nuclear explosions in cities, forests, agricultural fields, and oil and gas fields. As a result of these fires, the loading of the atmosphere with strongly light absorbing particles in the submicron size range (1 micron = 10-6 m) would increase so much that at noon solar radiation at the ground would be reduced by at least a factor of two and possibly a factor of greater than one hundred. 
** {{w|Paul Crutzen}} and John W. Birks, 'The Atmosphere after a Nuclear War: Twilight at Noon', Ambio, 1982, 11, 115. 

*The [[season]] has no [[character]] of its own, unless one is a farmer with a professional concern for the weather.
**[[Robertson Davies]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=z35aAAAAMAAJ The Enthusiasms of Robertson Davies],''Viking, 1979, p. 251.

*External [[heat]] and [[w:Cold|cold]] had little [[influence]] on [[Scrooge]]. No warmth could [[warm]], no wintry weather [[w:Chill|chill]] him. No [[wind]] that blew was bitterer than he, no falling [[snow]] was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting [[rain]] less open to [[w:Entreaty|entreaty]]. [[w:Foul|Foul]] weather did not know where to have him. The heaviest rain, snow, and [[w:Hail|hail]], and [[w:Sleet|sleet]], could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often “come down” handsomely, and Scrooge never did.
**[[Charles Dickens]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=D0zFr3xc4bMC&amp;pg=PA7 A Christmas Carol],'' Plain Label Books, 01-Sep-2010, p. 7.

*Well, commander. I've learned it is never a good [[idea]] to play around with the forces of nature. But with this evil Romanov running loose again, we have no choice! This Weather Control Device provides very advanced [[w:Manipulation|manipulation]] of the weather patterns. These are [[God]]'s toys, commander... use them wisely, ja?
**[[Albert Einstein]] in [[Command &amp; Conquer]] in: ''[http://cnc.wikia.com/wiki/Albert_Einstein , Command &amp; Conquer: Red Alert 2],'' Wiki.

*[[April]] is the [[cruel]]est month, [[w:Breeding|breeding]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Lilacs|lilacs]] out of the dead [[land]], mixing&lt;br&gt;[[memory]] and [[desire]], stirring&lt;br&gt;dull roots with [[spring]] [[rain]].
**[[T.S. Eliot]] in: Gabrielle McIntire ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=7LG7LOlMVjUC&amp;pg=PA1 Modernism, Memory, and Desire: T. S. Eliot and Virginia Woolf],'' Cambridge University Press, 7 February 2008, p. 1.

[[File:Newspaper_weather_forecast_-_today_and_tomorrow.svg|right|thumb[[John von Neumann]] envisioned that weather and [[w:Climate|climate]] systems could be controlled, or atleast directed, by the release of perfectly practical amounts of [[energy]], or by altering the [[w:Absorption|absorption]] and [[reflection]] properties of the [[w:Ground|ground]] or the [[sea]] or the [[w:Atmosphere|atmosphere]]. His [[philosophy]] was that all stable processes we shall [[predict]]. All unstable processes we shall [[control]].]]
*Using computer generated predictions [[John von Neumann]] envisioned that weather and [[w:Climate|climate]] systems could be controlled, or atleast directed, by the release of perfectly practical amounts of [[energy]], or by altering the [[w:Absorption|absorption]] and [[reflection]] properties of the [[w:Ground|ground]] or the [[sea]] or the [[w:Atmosphere|atmosphere]]. His [[philosophy]] was that all stable processes we shall [[predict]]. All unstable processes we shall [[control]].
**James Rodger Fleming in : ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=yRhHAAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT203 Fixing the Sky: The Checkered History of Weather and Climate Control],'' Columbia University Press, 13 August 2013, p. 203.

=== G - L ===
*...the kind of weather that reminds you after a long [[winter]] that while the [[world]] wasn't built for humans, we were built for the [[world]].
**[[w:John Green (author)|John Green]] in : ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=JekYBAAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT84 The Fault In Our Stars - John Green: The Fault In Our Stars],'' John Green, 10 January 2012, p. 84.

* [[w:Leslie Groves|Groves]] hated the weather, and the weathermen; they represented chaos and the messengers of chaos. Weather violated boundaries, ignored walls and gates, failed to adhere to deadlines, disobeyed orders. Weather caused delays. The weather forecasters had opposed the [atomic bomb] test date for months—it was set within a window of unfavorable conditions: thunderstorms, rain, high winds, inversion layers. Groves had overridden them. … Groves saw it as a matter of insubordination when the weather forecasters refused to forecast good weather for the test. 
** {{W|Peter Bacon Hales}}, ''In Atomic Spaces: Living on the Manhattan Project'' (1999), 312. For the attitude of Groves toward the weather see his, 'Some Recollections of July 16, 1945', Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (Jun 1970), 26, No. 6, 27. 

*The [[globe]] is covered with distinct weather systems that overlap, interact and thus cover the entire globe. The [[w:Gulf Stream|Gulf Stream]] is one example of a weather system that affects a regional climate.
**[[w:David Halsey|David Halsey]] in: “It's All About Time”, p. 56.

*Yet with today's technological [[knowledge]] and computational tools, we can only define weather in terms of [[probability]] or [[w:Chaos theory|chaos theories]]. Our scientific advancements have been exceptional during the last 400 years, but we still have only begun to understand.
**[[w:David Halsey|David Halsey]] in: “It's All About Time”, p. 69.
[[File:Guira_guira.jpg|right|thumb|WEATHERS&lt;br&gt;This is the weather the [[w:Cuckoo|cuckoo]] likes, &lt;br&gt;And so do I; &lt;br&gt;When showers betumble the chestnut spikes,...[[Thomas Hardy]].]]
*WEATHERS&lt;br&gt;This is the weather the [[w:Cuckoo|cuckoo]] likes, &lt;br&gt;And so do I; &lt;br&gt;When showers betumble the chestnut spikes,&lt;br&gt;And nestlings fly; &lt;br&gt;And the little brown [[w:Nightingale|nightingale]] bills his best, &lt;br&gt;And they sit outside at 'The Traveller's Rest,'&lt;br&gt; And maids come forth sprig-muslin drest, &lt;br&gt;And [[citizens]] dream of the south and west, &lt;br&gt; And so do I. &lt;br&gt;This is the weather the [[w:Shepherd|shepherd]] shuns, &lt;br&gt;And so do I; &lt;br&gt;When beeches drip in browns and duns, &lt;br&gt;And thresh and ply; &lt;br&gt;And hill-hid tides throb, throe on throe, &lt;br&gt;And [[w:Meadow|meadow]] rivulets overflow, &lt;br&gt;And drops on gate bars hang in a row, &lt;br&gt;And rooks in families homeward go, &lt;br&gt;And so do I.
**[[Thomas Hardy]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=b7geUOOYjtoC&amp;pg=PA145 Hardy: Selected Poems]'', Penguin, 1 December 1998, p. 145.

*There is no way that we can [[w:Predict|predict]] the weather six months ahead beyond giving the seasonal average.
**[[Stephen Hawking]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=0Zho1aMx-XMC&amp;pg=PA10 Predicting the Future],'' Cambridge University Press, 1993, p. 10.

*And scrub a [[w:Kitchen|kitchen]] pavement, or break [[stones]] &lt;br&gt; Like an old [[w:Pauper|pauper]], in all kinds of weather; &lt;br&gt; For to [[w:Articulation (phonetics)|articulate]] sweet sounds together&lt;br&gt;  Is to work harder than all these.
**[[Seamus Heaney]] in: Harold Bloom ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=EiP-Ju8gwUwC&amp;pg=PA39 English Romantic Poetry]'', Infobase Publishing, 1 January 2009, p. 39.

*The [[notion]] of [[time]] is to be considered in the [[nature]] of [[war]], as it is in the nature of weather. For as the nature of [[foul]] weather lieth not in a shower or two of [[rain]], but in an inclination thereto of many days together, so the nature of war consisteth not in actual [[fighting]], but in the known  thereto during all the time there is an assurance to the contrary.
**[[Thomas Hobbes]] in: Ross J. Corbett ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=VTKbZ74tsYgC&amp;pg=PA33 The Lockean Commonwealth]'', SUNY Press, 2 July 2010, p. 33.

*When all is said and done, the weather and [[love]] are the two elements about which one can never be sure.
**[[w:Alice Hoffman|Alice Hoffman]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=OTziP1HwWlkC&amp;pg=PT106 Here On Earth]'', Random House, 31 March 2013, p. 106.

[[File:Cyclone_Catarina_from_the_ISS_on_March_26_2004.JPG| right|thumb|For the man sound in [[body]] and [[serene]] in [[mind]] there is no such thing as bad weather; every [[sky]] has its [[beauty]], and [[storms]] which whip the blood do but make it [[w:Pulse|pulse]] more vigorously - [[Jerome K. Jerome]].]]
[[File:CirrusField-color.jpg|right|thumb|I loved weather, all weather, not just the good kind. I loved balmy days, fearsome [[storms]], [[w:Blizzard|blizzards]], and [[spring]] [[w:Showers|showers]]. And the colors! Everyday brought something to be admired: the soft feathery patterns of [[w:Cirrus cloud|cirrus cloud]]s, the deep, dark grays of [[w:Cumulonimbus cloud|thunderheads]], the lacy gold and peach of the early [[morning]] [[sunrise]]. The [[sky]] and its [[moods]] called to me. - [[w:L. Jagi Lamplighter|L. Jagi Lamplighter]].]]

*For the man sound in [[body]] and [[serene]] in [[mind]] there is no such thing as bad weather; every [[sky]] has its [[beauty]], and [[storms]] which whip the blood do but make it [[w:Pulse|pulse]] more vigorously.
**[[Jerome K. Jerome ]], in: Michelle Heller ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=yAQVDNVLAk0C&amp;pg=PA143 Little Book of Bathroom Meditations],'' Fair Winds.

*But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the [[misery]] of knowing about it beforehand.
**[[Jerome K. Jerome]] in: George Grossmith et al., ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=lwUh8gn4d3wC&amp;pg=PT185 Stop What You’re Doing and Read…To Make You Laugh: The Diary of a Nobody &amp; Three Men in a Boat]'', Random House, 29 February 2012, p. 185 .

*[[w:Meteorologist|Meteorologist]] see perfect in strange things, and the meshing of three completely independent weather systems to form a hundred-year event is one of them. My God, thought Case, this is the perfect [[storm]].
**[[w:Sebastian Junger|Sebastian Junger]] in: Christopher Lehmann-Haupt [http://www.nytimes.com/books/97/06/01/daily/storm-book-review.html 'The Perfect Storm': Shipwreck Story No One Survived to Tell], The New York Times, 5 June 1997.

*The [[storm]] starts, when the drops start dropping. When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.
**[[Daniel Kahneman]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=VudBATqvsPIC&amp;pg=PT85 Trend Commandments: Trading for Exceptional Returns],'' Pearson Education, 13 June 2011, p. 85.

*Give 'em quips, give 'em fun &lt;br&gt; And they'll happy to say you're A-1&lt;br&gt;If you become a [[farmer]] you've the weather to buck&lt;br&gt;  If you become a [[w:Gambler|gambler]] you'll be stuck with your [[luck]]&lt;br&gt;  But Jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a [[duck]]&lt;br&gt; Be a [[clown]], be a clown, be a clown.
**[[Gene Kelly]], in: ''[https://community.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Gene-Kelly/Be-a-Clown Be a Clown]'', Musixmatch.

*Yes, today we have genuine [[Russia]]n weather. Yesterday we had [[w:Sweden|Swedish]] weather. I can't understand why your weather is so [[terrible]]. Maybe it is because you are immediate neighbours of [[w:NATO|NATO]].
**[[Nikita Khrushchev]] At a Swedish-Soviet summit which began on March 30, 1956, in Moscow. The stenographed discussion was later published by the Swedish Government.as quoted in Raoul Wallenberg (1985) by Eric Sjöquist, p. 119 ISBN 915365087.

*I told her I'd rather talk about her, instead of listening to her drone on about the weather. Little did I know she was an aspiring [[w:Meteorologist|meteorologist]].
**Jarod Kintz in: ''[https://plus.google.com/114953768254223409489/posts/RmiPx9hqtYx Africa Weather]'', plus.google.com.

*I loved weather, all weather, not just the good kind. I loved balmy days, fearsome [[storms]], [[w:Blizzard|blizzards]], and [[spring]] [[w:Showers|showers]]. And the colors! Everyday brought something to be admired: the soft feathery patterns of [[w:Cirrus cloud|cirrus cloud]]s, the deep, dark grays of [[w:Cumulonimbus cloud|thunderheads]], the lacy gold and peach of the early [[morning]] [[sunrise]]. The [[sky]] and its [[moods]] called to me.
**[[w:L. Jagi Lamplighter|L. Jagi Lamplighter]] in: ''[http://iskymoments.com/ Gorgeous Evening!],'' I Sky Moments.

*[[Nature]] is so powerful, so strong. Capturing its [[essence]] is not easy - your work becomes a [[dance]] with [[light]] and the weather. It takes you to a place within yourself.
**[[w:Annie Leibovitz|Annie Leibovitz]] in: Joseph Demakis ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=kOnjAwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA291 the Ultimate Book of Quotations],'' Lulu.com, p. 291.

=== M - R ===
[[File:Amazon CIAT (2).jpg|right|thumb|...defined by [[islands]] and enclosed by the [[w:Rainforest|rainforest]], out here, everything was open, and the weather was the [[fabric]] of the [[world]].- Erin Mckittrick]]
[[File:Feathered_Dusk.jpg|right|thumb|When it is [[evening]], ye say it will be fair weather: for the [[sky]] is [[red]]. - [[w:Matthew the Apostle|Matthew]].]]
[[File:Aan_de_Zuidpool_-_p1913-164-1.jpg|right|thumb|Stickeen always insisted on going with me, however [[wild]] the weather, gliding like a [[fox]] through dripping [[w:Huckleberry|huckleberry]] bushes and thorny tangles of panaz and [[w:Rubus|rubus]]...- [[John Muir]].]]
*When it is [[evening]], ye say it will be fair weather: for the [[sky]] is [[red]].
**[[w:Matthew the Apostle|Matthew]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=guPPzJc9c2AC&amp;pg=PA116 The Catholic Comparative New Testament:],'' Oxford University Press, 2006, p. 116.

*There’s no such thing as bad weather. It’s just light and what you are gonna do about it!
**[[w:Andrew McKenna|Andrew Mckenna]] in: “Only Happy When It Rains”

*...defined by [[islands]] and enclosed by the [[w:Rainforest|rainforest]], out here, everything was open, and the weather was the [[fabric]] of the [[world]].
**Erin Mckittrick in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=GRiU5I6wbrUC&amp;pg=PA99 A Long Trek Home: 4,000 Miles by Boot, Raft, and Ski],'' The Mountaineers Books, 2009, p. 99.

*The color of the [[sky]] as far as I can see is coal [[w:Gray|gray]] &lt;br&gt;lift my head from the pillow and then fall again&lt;br&gt; with a [[w:Shiver|shiver]] in my bones just thinking about the weather.
**[[Natalie Merchant]] in: ''[http://www.nataliemerchant.com/r/in-my-tribe/lyrics/like-the-weather Like The Weather]'', nataliemerchant.com.

*But there are [[dreams]] that cannot be And there are [[storms]] we cannot weather.
**From [[Les Misérables (musical)]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=J2EEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA88 Orange Coast Magazine Vol. 14, No. 10],'' Emmis Communications, October 1988, p. 88.

*Strange, fertile correspondences the [[alchemists]] sensed in unlikely orders of being. Between men and [[w:Planets|planets]], [[w:Plants|plants]] and [[w:Gestures|gestures]], [[words]] and weather.
**[[Jim Morrison]] in: Forrest Parker ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=WQVZHbCXHfgC&amp;pg=PA60 Beyond the Lords &amp; the New Creatures],'' iUniverse, 1 December 2000, p. 60.

*Stickeen always insisted on going with me, however [[wild]] the weather, gliding like a [[fox]] through dripping [[w:Huckleberry|huckleberry]] bushes and thorny tangles of panaz and [[w:Rubus|rubus]]...Once he followed me over a [[w:Glacier|glacier]] the surface of which was so crusty and rough that it cut his feet until every step was marked with [[blood]]...
**[[John Muir]] in: Zachary Michael Jack ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=y9-N4xbjCuIC&amp;pg=PA90 Participatory Sportswriting: An Anthology, 1870-1937],'' McFarland, 24 November 2008, p. 90.

*Precipitate as weather, she appeared from somewhere, then [[w:Evaporate|evaporate]]d, leaving only [[memory]].
**[[Haruki Murakami]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Lp6ZWXUI6YIC&amp;pg=PA5 Dance Dance Dance]'', Random House, 10 October 2011, p. 5.
[[File:AzaraxshTaleghan.gif|right|thumb|Isn't the [[lightning]] darling? &lt;br&gt;Fear not the [[thunder]], little one. &lt;br&gt; It's weather, simply weather; &lt;br&gt;It's [[friend]]ly giants full of fun. - [[Ogden Nash]].]]
*The weather is so very [[w:Mild|mild]]&lt;br&gt;That some would call it [[w:Warm|warm]].&lt;br&gt;Good [[gracious]], aren’t we [[lucky]] child?...
**[[Ogden Nash]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=OSxbAAAAMAAJ The bad parents' garden of verse],'' Simon and Schuster, 1936, p. 54.

*Isn't the [[[lightning]] darling? &lt;br&gt;[[Fear]] not the [[thunder]], little one. &lt;br&gt; It's weather, simply weather; &lt;br&gt;It's [[friend]]ly giants full of fun &lt;br&gt;Clapping their hands together.&lt;br&gt; I hope of lightning our supply&lt;br&gt; Will never be exhausted ; &lt;br&gt; You know it's [[w:Lanterns|lanterns]] in the [[sky]] angels who are losted. &lt;br&gt;We [[love] the kindly [[wind]] and hail, &lt;br&gt; The jolly [[w:Thunderbolt|thunderbolt]], &lt;br&gt; We watch in glee the fairy trail&lt;br&gt; Of [[w:Ampere|ampere]], [[w:Watt|watt]], and [[volt]].
**[[Ogden Nash]] in: &quot;The bad parents' garden of verse&quot;.

*By the waters of [[Life]] we sat together, &lt;br&gt;Hand in hand in the golden days&lt;br&gt;Of the beautiful early summer weather,&lt;br&gt; When skies were purple and [[breath]] was [[praise]].
**[[Thomas Noel (poet)]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=IUxKAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA45 Friends' Intelligencer, Volume 23],'' Wm. W. Moore, 1867, p. 45.

*Just for the record, the weather today is partly suspicious with chances of [[betrayal]].
**[[Chuck Palahniuk]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=RgD9zMJ68e0C&amp;pg=PA82 Breadcrumbs for Beginners: Following the Writing Trail],'' Balboa Press, 2011, p. 82.

*A [[Song]] for September&lt;br&gt;[[Sorrow]] and scarlet leaf, &lt;br&gt; [[Sad]] [[thoughts]] and sunny weather: &lt;br&gt; Ah me, this [[glory]] and this [[grief]]&lt;br&gt; Agree not well together!
**[[Thomas William Parsons]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=xwNCAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA16Indian Summer: Autumn Poems and Sketches],'' E.P. Dutton, 1881, p. 16.

*[[Prayer]]: [[God|Almighty]] and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee to retain these immoderate [[rains]] with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for [[Battle]]. [[Gracious]]ly hearken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy [[power]], we may advance from [[victory]] to victory and crush the [[w:Oppression|oppression]] and [[wickedness]] of our [[enemies]] and establish Thy [[justice]] among men and [[nations]]. Amen.
**[[George S. Patton|George Smith Patton]], Paul Donal Harkins in: [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=2A4BPpDQTfcC&amp;pg=PA185 War as I Knew it], Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1995, p. 185.

*How to start on my [[adventure]]—how to become a [[w:Forester|forester]]—was not so simple. There were no schools of Forestry]] in America. … Whoever turned his mind toward Forestry in those days thought little about the forest itself and more about its influences, and about its [[influence]] on [[rainfall]] first of all. So I took a course in [[w:Meteorology|meteorology]], which has to do with weather and [[w:Climate|climate]]. and another in [[w:Botany|botany]], which has to do with the vegetable kingdom—[[trees]] are unquestionably vegetable. And another in [[geology]], for forests grow out of the [[earth]]. Also I took a course in [[astronomy]], for it is the [[sun]] which makes trees grow. All of which is as it should be, because [[science]] underlies the forester's [[knowledge]] of the woods. So far I was headed right. But as for Forestry itself, there wasn't even a suspicion of it at Yale. The time for teaching Forestry as a profession was years away.
**[[w:Gifford Pinchot|Gifford Pinchot]] in: [http://books.google.co.in/books?id=WVOAsfHS2qQC&amp;pg=PA3 Breaking New Ground], Island Press, 1 July 1998, p. 3.

[[File:The Yule Log in India — Bringing in the Ice - coloured - The Graphic 1889.jpg|right|thumb|Why is it that showers and even [[storms]] seem to come by chance, so that many people think it quite [[natural]] to pray for [[rain]] or fine weather, though they would consider it ridiculous to ask for an [[eclipse]] by [[prayer]]?]]
[[File:Winter_Sunshine.jpg|right|thumb|[[Sunshine]] is [[w:Delicious|delicious]], [[rain]] is refreshing, [[wind]] braces us up, [[snow]] is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. - [[John Ruskin]].]]
*Why is it that showers and even [[storms]] seem to come by chance, so that many people think it quite [[natural]] to pray for [[rain]] or fine weather, though they would consider it ridiculous to ask for an [[eclipse]] by prayer?
**[[Henri Poincaré]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=2xolk6XgkFAC&amp;pg=PA63 Foresight and Knowledge],'' Fordham Univ Press, 1996, p. 63.

*Sometimes for years and years together, &lt;br&gt;She ’ll [[bless]] you with the sunniest weather, &lt;br&gt;[[Bestow]]ing [[honour]], pudding, pence, &lt;br&gt;You can’t imagine why or whence;
**[[Winthrop Mackworth Praed]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=dlsCAAAAQAAJ&amp;pg=PA133 The poems of Winthrop Mackworth Praed, with a memoir by D. Coleridge, Volume 1]'', 1864, p. 133.

*A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the [[world]] and ourselves.
**[[Marcel Proust]] in: Marleen Wynants, Sara Engelen''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Yicsl9Zq-90C&amp;pg=PA7 We Can Change the Weather: 100 Cases of Changeability]'', Asp / Vubpress / Upa, 2010, p. 7.

*If the first of July be rainy weather, It will [[rain]], more of less, for four weeks together.
**[[English proverb]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=WRd15VPJplYC&amp;pg=PA269 The Frank C. Brown Collection of NC Folklore: Vol. VII: Popular Beliefs and Superstitions from North Carolina, Part 2],'' Duke University Press, 29 April 1977, p. 269.

*Weather: President Reagan must be happy over how bad the weather's been this [[winter]], because its the one thing no one's blaming on him. There is nothing [[television]] [[news]] likes better than bad weather, and we sure get a lot of it in the [[United States]].
**[[w:Andrew A. Rooney|Andrew A. Rooney]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=_yZlAAAAMAAJ Years of Minutes],'' Public Affairs, 2003, p. 8.

*For there is no [[friend]] like a [[sister]] &lt;br&gt; In [[calm]] or [[storm]]y weather; &lt;br&gt; To cheer one on the tedious way, &lt;br&gt; To fetch one if one goes [[w:Astray|astray]], &lt;br&gt; To lift one if one totters [[clown]], &lt;br&gt; To strengthen while one stands.
**[[Christina Rossetti]] in: Elizabeth M. Knowles ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=o6rFno1ffQoC&amp;pg=PA634 The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations],'' Oxford University Press, 1999, p. 634.

*[[Sunshine]] is [[w:Delicious|delicious]], [[rain]] is refreshing, [[wind]] braces us up, [[snow]] is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.
**[[John Ruskin]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=fCqtAloT5TkC&amp;pg=PA99 Inner Journey],'' Dorrance Publishing, 14 January 2010, p. 99.

=== S - Z ===
[[File:Hirundo_abyssinica.jpg|right|thumb|The [[w:Swallow|martlet]] Builds in the weather on the outward wall, Even in the force and road of [[casualty]]. - [[William Shakespeare]].]]
[[File:Mahagoni_Tree.jpg|right|thumb|...Little we [[fear]] &lt;br&gt; Weather without,&lt;br&gt;Sheltered about &lt;br&gt; The Mahogany-Tree.]]
[[File:Agasthiyamalai_range_and_Tirunelveli_rainshadow.jpg|right|thumb|I believe that in [[India]] &quot;cold weather&quot; is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a [[w:Brass|brass]] door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy. -[[Mark Twain]].]]
[[File:Wea00800,1.jpg|right|thumb|In fierce March weather &lt;br&gt; [[w:White|White]] [[w:Waves|waves]] break tether, &lt;br&gt; And whirled together&lt;br&gt;  At either hand, &lt;br&gt; Like weeds uplifted&lt;br&gt;The tree trunks rifted. - [[Algernon Charles Swinburne]].]]
[[File:Cotton_picking_in_India.jpg|right|thumb|[[USA]], [[India]], [[China]], the [[Middle East]] and [[Australia]], where [[w:Climate|climatic conditions]] suit the natural growth requirement of [[cotton]]  including periods of hot and dry weather, and where adequate [[w:Moisture|moisture]] is available, often obtained through [[w:Irrigation|irrigation]]. - Usha Barwale Zehr.]]
*But by the fair weather that you make yourself - Many can brook the weather that cannot bear the [[wind]] - Considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold –‘Tis like to ne loud weather – But I must make fair weather yet awhile – Mine [[honour]] keeps the weather of my [[fate]].
**[[William Shakespeare]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=JlvOAAAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA1721  Shakspeare's Dramatic Works: With Explanatory Notes],'' John Stockdale, 1790 , p. 1721.

*The [[w:Swallow|martlet]] Builds in the weather on the outward wall, Even in the force and road of [[casualty]].
**[[William Shakespeare]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=l2JLKNGR9z4C&amp;pg=PA357 The Merchant of Venice (late 1590s), Act II, scene 9, line 28.],'' Classic Books Company, 2001,  p. 357.

*The weather and the giant of the weather,&lt;br&gt; Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere [[air]]: &lt;br&gt;  An [[abstraction]] blooded, as a [[thought]].
**[[Wallace Stevens]] in: Harold Bloom ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=ZS_RnwLipHAC&amp;pg=PA186 Wallace Stevens: The Poems of Our Climate]'', Cornell University Press, 1980, p. 186.

*If [[love]] were what the [[rose]] is, &lt;br&gt; And I were like the [[w:Leaf|leaf]], &lt;br&gt; Our lives would grow together&lt;br&gt; In [[sad]] or [[singing]] weather, &lt;br&gt; Blown fields or [[flower]]ful closes, &lt;br&gt; [[w:Green|Green]] [[w:Pasture|pasture]] or gray grief; &lt;br&gt; If love were what the rose is, &lt;br&gt;  And I were like the leaf.
**[[Algernon Charles Swinburne]] in: ''John D. Rosenberg[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=VZ_6xZo0gz8C&amp;pg=PA169 Elegy for an Age: The Presence of the Past in Victorian Literature],'' Anthem Press, 15 February 2005 , p. 169.

*In fierce March weather &lt;br&gt; [[White]] [[waves]] break tether, &lt;br&gt; And whirled together&lt;br&gt;  At either hand, &lt;br&gt; Like weeds uplifted&lt;br&gt;The tree trunks rifted.
**[[Algernon Charles Swinburne]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=b8HxNxWCy04C&amp;pg=PA160 Every Saturday, Volume 3 ],'' Ticknor and Fields, 1867, p. 160.

*[[Christmas]] is here : &lt;br&gt; [[Winds]] whistle shrill,&lt;br&gt;  Icy and chill,&lt;br&gt; Little care we: &lt;br&gt; Little we [[fear]] &lt;br&gt; Weather without,&lt;br&gt;Sheltered about &lt;br&gt; The Mahogany-Tree.
**[[William Makepeace Thackeray]] in: Rossiter Johnson ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Qh9sAAAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA426 Keats to Morris],'' D. Appleton, 1876, p. 426.

*...of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the [[evil]] in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean [[earth]] to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.
**[[J. R. R. Tolkien]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=GEWXQbASXZUC&amp;pg=PA59 Understanding the Lord of the Rings: The Best of Tolkien Criticism],'' Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 14 April 2005, p. 59.

*I believe that in [[India]] &quot;cold weather&quot; is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a [[w:Brass|brass]] door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
**[[Mark Twain]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=Y03qXQksKokC&amp;pg=PA186 Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World: Easyread Large Bold Edition],'' ReadHowYouWant.com, 5 November 2008 , p. 186.

*Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. People are always ready to complain about a [[problem]] but never willing to solve it;...
** Generally, but perhaps mistakenly, attributed to [[Mark Twain]], as reported in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989), which notes that the quote &quot;has never been verified in his writings&quot;. Many quotation dictionaries credit [[Charles Dudley Warner]], a friend of Twain's, with this remark. But what Warner actually wrote, in an editorial in the Hartford (Connecticut) Courant (August 27, 1897), p. 8, was: &quot;A ''well known American writer'' said once that, while everybody talked about the weather, nobody seemed to do anything about it.&quot; Later, Robert U. Johnson, in his autobiography, Remembered Yesterdays, p. 322 (1923), says, &quot;Nor have I ever seen in print Mark's saying about the weather, 'We all grumble about the weather, but—but—but nothing is done about it.'&quot; See also Martin H. Manser ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=fgaUQc8NbTYC&amp;pg=PA75 The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs],'' Infobase Publishing, 2007, p. 175.

* As a [[w:Verb|verb]] weather means change in [[w:Colour|color]], condition, etc., because of the effects of the [[sun]], [[wind]], [[rain]], etc., over a long period of time. It also means to deal with or experience (something dangerous or unpleasant) without being harmed or damaged too much.
**Merriam-webster.com in: ''[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weather Weather]'', Merriam-webster.com.

* As a noun weather is the state of the [[air]] and atmosphere at a particular time and place : the temperature and other outside conditions (such as [[rain]], [[cloud]]iness, etc.) at a particular time and place, and bad or [[stormy]] weather. It is  the state of the atmosphere with respect to [[heat]] or [[w:Cold|cold]], [[w:Wetness|wetness]] or [[w:Dryness|dryness]], [[calm]] or [[storm]], clearness or cloudiness.
**Merriam-webster.com in: &quot;Weather&quot;.

*I feel so much depends on the weather, so is it raining in your bedroom?
**[[w:Scott Weiland|Scott Weiland]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5UOC0C0x8Q &quot;Plush&quot;], ''Core'' (1992), Atlantic Recording Corporation

*[[Pray]] don't talk to me about the weather,... Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite [[nervous]].
**[[Oscar Wilde]] in: Philip George Hill [The Importance of Being Earnest in '':[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=gHnukBPwHTcC&amp;pg=PA148 Our Dramatic Heritage: Classical drama and the early Renaissance],'' Fairleigh Dickinson Univ Press, 1983, p. 148.

*[[w:Sailors|Sailors]] have an expression about the weather: they say the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human [[society]]
**[[E. B. White]] in: ''[http://books.google.co.in/books?id=MazzAgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA10 Letters of Note: An Eclectic Collection of Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience]'', Chronicle Books, 6 May 2014, p. 10.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary|weather}}

[[Category:Weather| ]]
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    <title>Marathi language</title>
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      <text bytes="13090" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Verse_in_Modi_script.svg|thumb|right| Modi script was used to write Marathi until 1960]]
'''[[wikipedia:Marathi language|Vivek pawar]]''' (मराठी Marāṭhī [məˈɾaʈʰi]) is an [[w:Indo-Aryan language|Indo-Aryan language]]. It is the [[w:official language|official language]] of [[w:Maharashtra|Maharashtra]] state of [[ India]] and is one of the 23 official [[w:Languages of India|languages of India]]. There were 83 million speakers in 2011; Marathi has the third largest number of native speakers in India.] And it is 10th most spoken language in World.Marathi has some of the oldest [[literature]] of all modern Indo-Aryan languages, dating from about the 1st century AD. The major dialects of Marathi are called Standard Marathi and Warhadi Marathi. There are a few other sub-dialects like [[w:Khandeshi language|Ahirani]], [[w:Dangi|Dangi]], [[w:Phudagi language|Vadvali]], [[w:Marathi–Konkani languages|Samavedi]], [[w:Khandeshi language|Khandeshi]], [[w:Koli language|Koli]] [[w:Kokani language|Kokani]] and [[w:Malvani Konkani|Malwani]]. Standard Marathi is the official language of the State of Maharashtra.

==Quotes==
*Marāṭhī language is an [[w:Indo-Aryan language|Indo-Aryan language]] of western and central India. Its range extends from north of [[w:Mumbai|Mumbai]] (Bombay) down the western coast past [[w:Goa|Goa]] and eastward across the [[w:Deccan|Deccan]]; in 1966 it became the [[w:Official language|official language]] of the state of [[w:Maharshtra|Mahārāshtra]]. The standard form of [[speech]] is that of the city of [[w:Pune|Pune]] .
**Encyclopedia Britannica in: ''[http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/363887/Marathi-language Marāṭhī language]'', Encyclopedia Britannica
 
*Descended from the [[w:Maharashtri Prakrit|Mahārāṣṭrī Prākrit]], Marāṭhī has a significant [[literature]]. [[Books]] are printed in [[w:Devnagri script|Devnāgrī script]], which is also used for handwriting, although for [[w:Handwriting|handwriting]] there is also an alternate cursive form of Devnāgrī called [[w:Modi script|Modi]]. [[w:Hindi languages|Eastern Hindi]] is the Indo-Aryan language most closely related to Marāṭhī. Like [[w:Hindi language|Hindi]], Marāṭhī has lost most of its inflectional system to indicate case, using instead postpositions (like [[w:Prepositions|prepositions]], only following the [[word]]) with an oblique “case” to serve the function originally filled by [[w:Inflection|inflection]].
**Encyclopedia Britannica in: &quot;Marāṭhī language&quot;

===Language Change: Lexical Diffusion and Literacy===
[[File:The_word_%27Marathi%27_written_in_%22Modi%27_script_as_a_part_of_India_Post%27s_My_Stamp_scheme..png|right|thumb|[[w:Modi script|Modi Script]] under India Post's My Stamp scheme. Here, the word 'Marathi' is printed in the &quot;Modi Script&quot;.]]
&lt;small&gt;Goparaju Sambasiva Rao in: ''[http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=8Ben0lE61msC&amp;printsec=frontcover Language Change: Lexical Diffusion and Literacy]'', Academic Foundation, 1 January 1994.&lt;/small&gt;
*Initially, the [[w:Fort William College|Fort William College]] and the American and Scottish Missions pioneered Marathi language development. 
**In: p. 46.

*During the period before [[printing]] was  introduced the major part of written [[w:Marathi literature|Marathi literature ]] consisted of long [[poems]] written  in simple meters.
**In: p. 47.

*[[Literature]] was communicated to the rest of the population through oral religio-cultural presentations. Marathi prose literature was smaller in volume and restricted to historical chronicles, administrative correspondence, accounts, etc. It was also written and copied by professional scribes.
**In: p. 48.

*[Marathi] is a [[language]] less regular and less definite than [[English language|English]] and being only a [[w:Spoken language|spoken language]] inconceivably less apprehensible and less susceptible of rigid interpretation.
**Molesworth in: p. 48.

*During the pre-printing era, Marathi was written in two scripts : [[w:Modi script|Modi]] (Moorh) and Balbodh ([[w:Devnagri|Devnagri]]). [[w:Balbodh| Balbodh]]  was mainly used for  writing [[poetry]] and Modi for writing prose. When [[books]] were printed in Marathi, the selection of one of the scripts became a problem. In the beginning both scripts were used.  The types of devnagri were cut and applied to the [[Sanskrit]] and [[Hindi language|Hindi language]]s but Modi script was in use for Marathi.
**In: p. 48.

*As reading and writing were restricted to only high caste people who were either Sanskrit scholars, professional scribes, or rulers.... literature was accessible only to them and despite a thousand years of tradition of writing, newly arrived foreigners got the impression that Marathi is merely a spoken language without a serious literature... When books were printed in Marathi, the selection of one of the scripts became a major problem.
**In: p. 48.
 
*Books in the Maratha language are generally written in Devnagri character, but the character commonly used in business is the Moorh. The system of that [[alphabet]] and Devnagri is the same. 
**William Carey in Garmmar of the Marathi Language, in p. 49.

*Although in the [[Maharashtra|Maharatta country]] the [[w:Devnagri|Devnagri]] character is well known to men of [[education ]] yet a character is much smaller and varies considerably in form, from the Nagari, though the number and power of the letters nearly correspond.
**[[w:William Carey (missionary)|William Carey]] in Grammar of the Marathi Language, in p. 49.

*[[Conscious]] efforts of evolving a uniform standard variety of Marathi were made by both Marathi scholars and British officers. Dadoba's concern about a uniform standard can be seen in the preface of his grammar.
**[[w:William Carey (missionary)|William Carey]] in Grammar of the Marathi Language, in p. 49.

*Before printing and the advent of the [[w:British Raj|British]], variations of [[language]] on all levels of language use were not felt to be a problem. The print media, and the preparation of school books under central governmental control according to precise criteria were the most important forces in the [[creation]] of uniform [[norm]] which in turn stabilized the spoken norm of Marathi.
**In p. 58.

===A Comparative Study of Hand written Marathi Character Recognition===
[[File:Rigveda_MS2097.jpg|right|thumb|Devnagri script used in Marathi language]]
&lt;small&gt;P.E.Ajmire, RV Dharaskar, V M Thakare in: ''[http://web.archive.org/web/20141207081847/http://research.ijcaonline.org/ncipet/number10/ncipet1078.pdf A Comparative Study of Hand written Marathi Character Recognition]'', International Journal of Computer Applications, 2012&lt;/small&gt;
*Although there are many [[scripts]] and [[languages]] in [[India]] but not much research work is done for handwritten Marathi characters. Marathi handwritten character recognition is the challenging task in the pattern recognition field. 

*Marathi is an [[w:Indo-Aryan language|Indo-Aryan language]] spoken by about 71 million people mainly in the Indian state of Maharashtra and neighbouring states. Marathi is also spoken in [[Israel]] and [[Mauritius]]. Marathi is thought to be a descendant of [[w:Maharashtri|Maharashtri]], one of the [[Prakrit|Prakrit]] languages which developed from [[Sanskrit]].

*Marathi first appeared in writing during the 11th century in the form of [[w:Inscriptions|inscriptions]] on stones and copper plates. Marathi was written in [[w:Modi script|Modi script]] — a [[w:Cursive script|cursive script]] which minimizes the lifting of pen from paper while writing. Most writings of the [[w:Maratha Empire| Maratha Empire]] are in Modi script. However, [[w:Persian language|Persian]] based scripts were also used for court documentation.

*With the advent of large scale printing, Modi script fell into disuse, as it proved very difficult for [[w:Typesetting|typesetting]]. Currently, due to the availability of Modi fonts and the enthusiasm of the younger speakers, the script is far from disappearing.

*Now, Marathi is written in the [[w:Devnagri script|Devnagri script]], a set consists of 16 [[w:Vowels|vowels]] 

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;
|-
! Devanagari
| अ || आ || इ || ई || उ || ऊ || ऋ || ए || ऐ || ओ || औ || अं || अः
|-
! Transliterated
| a || ā || i || ī || u || ū || ṛ || e || ai || o || au || aṃ || aḥ
|-
! IPA
| {{IPA|/ə/}} || {{IPA|/aa/}} || {{IPA|/i/}} || {{IPA|/eː/}} || {{IPA|/u/}} || {{IPA|/unː/}} || {{IPA|/ru/}} || {{IPA|/ea/}} || {{IPA|/əi/}} || {{IPA|/o/}} || {{IPA|/əun/}} || {{IPA|/əm/}} || {{IPA|/əɦə/}}
|-

|}

and 36 [[w:Consonants|consonants]] 

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;
|- class=&quot;Unicode&quot;
||&lt;big&gt;क&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;का&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कि&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;की&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कु&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कू&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;के&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कै&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;को&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कौ&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कं&lt;/big&gt;||&lt;big&gt;कः&lt;/big&gt;
|- class=&quot;Unicode&quot;
||ka||kā||ki||kī||ku||kū||ke||kai||ko||kau||kaum||kah
|}

क ख ग घ ङ च &lt;br&gt;
छ ज झ ञ ट ठ &lt;br&gt;
ड ढ ण त थ द ध &lt;br&gt;
न प फ ब भ म &lt;br&gt;
य र ल व श ष &lt;br&gt;
स ह ळ क्ष ज्ञ &lt;br&gt;


''k kh g gh dm c ''

''ch j jh tr ṭ th ''

''ḍ ḍh na t th d dh ''

''n p ph b bh m ''

''y r l v sh sha ''

''s h la ksh dny ''

making a total of 52 letters. It is written from left to right. Devnagari used to write Marathi is slightly different than that of Hindi or other languages. 

*'Modi' was in use till the time of the [[w:Peshwas |Peshwas]] (18th century). This script was introduced by [[w:Hemad Panta|HemadPanta]], a minister in the court of the [[w:Yadava kings |Yadava kings]] of [[w:Devgiri|Devgiri]] (13th century). This script looked more like today's [[w:Dravidian scripts|dravidian scripts]] and offered the advantage of greater writing speed because the letters could be joined together. Today only the Devnagari script is used which is easier to read but does not have the advantage of faster writing.

*The script currently used in Marathi is called '[[w:Balbodh|Balbodh]]' which is a modified version of Devnagri script. From this script Marathi language has 12 common vowels and for this the database is created. [[w:Vowels|Vowels]] are the [[soul]] of the [[speech]] and [[sounds]] of the [[language]]. In Marathi vowels are usually written in abbreviated [[symbols]] or forms. 

*From the 13th century until the mid-20th century, it was written with the Modi alphabet. Since 1950 it has been written with the Devnagri alphabet. 

*Modi script is a [[w:Brahmi script|Brahmi]] based script used primarily for writing Marathi and in some cases other languages like [[w:Hindi language|Hindi]], [[w:Gujarati language|Gujarati]], [[w:Konkani language|Konkani]], [[Tamil language|Tamil]] and [[Telugu language|Telugu]]. 

*Modi script derives from Nagari family of script. Importance of Modi is because it was the official script for all administrative purposes in the 16th century. When the Maratha dynasties came in power they adopted also continued it as official script through the 17th century and it remained so until the middle of the 20th century. Changing socio-political conditions gradually pushed Modi out of its official use and was replaced by the Devnagri script, known as [[w:Balbodh|Balbodh]]

*In recent years interest in Modi script has increased and researchers and enthusiasts are reinventing this cultural and historical heritage. There are many of Modi documents preserved not only in [[India]] but also in other [[Asia]]n and [[Europe]]an countries. While the majority of Modi documents are official records, land records and other administrative documents, the script is also used in [[education]], [[journalism]] and other routine activities  before the 1950s.
**Anshuman Pandey (2011)

*Modi script has only single “eekar I” and “ookar u”, which minimize grammatical mistakes.

*The Modi letters are [[syllables]] as they cannot be drawn without the inherent vowel sign “Kana”.

*Modi has undergone a series of changes and it reflects the socio-political and cultural changes that occurred in the period when Modi was prominently used. The earliest form is of the 12th century, known as &quot;Adyakalin (आद्यकालीन)‟. It underwent a change during the 13th century and is known as “Yadavakalin (यादवकालीन)” followed by “Brahmhkalin (ब्रह्मकालीन)” of the 14th-16th century. The well-known “Chitnis” form developed during the “Shivakalin (शिवकालीन)” of the 17th century. In the 18th century the “Peshvekalin (पेशवेकालीन)”, style of Modi gained prominence and had variations like “Chitnisi, Bilavalkari, Mahadevapanti, and Ranadi”. The final stage of Modi is associated with English rule and is called “Anglakalin (आंग्लकालीन)”. These forms were used from 1818 until 1952.
**Anshuman Pandey (2011)

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Languages]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>South Carolina</title>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="59074" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag of South Carolina.svg|thumb|South Carolina, come on and raise up! ~ [[w:Petey Pablo|Moses M. Barrett]]]]
[[File:Seal of South Carolina.svg|thumb|The people of South Carolina needs us to come together and be strong. ~ [[w:Nikki Haley|Nimrata Haley]]]]
'''[[w:South Carolina|South Carolina]]''', also known as '''S.C.''', is a [[w:U.S. state|U.S. state]] located on the eastern coastline of the [[United States|United States of America]]. The state is bordered by [[w:North Carolina|North Carolina]] to its north and [[Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]] to its south. It was the eighth U.S. state to ratify the [[United States Constitution|U.S. Constitution]], which it did on 23 May 1788. Though it was the first U.S. state to ratify the [[w:Articles of Confederation|Articles of Confederation]], it later became the first U.S. state to declare secession from [[Union (United States)|the Union]], which it did on 20 December 1860. After joining [[w:Confederate States of America|the Confederacy]], [[w:South Carolina in the American Civil War|South Carolina]] fought against the [[United States]] for four years in the [[American Civil War]], before being surrendering to the U.S. in 1865. The state was readmitted back into the [[United States|United States of America]] on 25 June 1868.

[[File:Fall skyline of Columbia SC from Arsenal Hill.jpg|thumb|A state where it's always a great day... The State of South Carolina will always be the place of new beginnings and fresh starts... Thank you, South Carolina. ~ [[Marco Rubio]]]]
[[File:BroadStreetCharleston.jpg|thumb|South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum. ~ James L. Petigru]]
[[File:CharlestonSC RainbowRow 500px.jpg|thumb|South Carolina, a state filled with evangelicals and active and retired military. ~ John Podhoretz]]
[[File:Charleston-ColumbusSt-port-terminal.jpg|thumb|South Carolina... is more ideologically conservative, with a stronger local party leadership and a tradition of preferring mainstream candidates. ~ Timothy Stanley]]
[[File:Official Photo of SC Governor Nikki Haley.jpg|thumb|We are a strong the and faithful state. We love our state, we love our county, and most importantly we love each other. ~ [[w:Nikki Haley|Nimrata Haley]]]]
[[File:Tim Scott, official portrait, 113th Congress.jpg|thumb|We can and will work every single day to replace hate with love, pain with kindness, and hostility with good will. ~ [[w:Tim Scott|Tim Scott]]]]
[[File:Flag of the United States.svg|thumb|It will be fitting our state will soon fly the flags of our country, of our state, and no other. ~ [[w:Nikki Haley|Nimrata Haley]]]]
[[File:Flag-map of South Carolina.svg|thumb|I have taught in South Carolina and lectured in the state numerous times. I have unfailingly been treated with courtesy and respect. ~ [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]]]]
[[File:Coat of arms of South Carolina (1876).png|thumb|I am actually looking forward to the day when I visit South Carolina... The people have broken free from the shackles of a mythical past. ~ Jimmy Dick]]
[[File:AdoptionOf13thAmendment.jpg|thumb|I congratulate you, my dear friend, on the law of your state for suspending the importation of slaves, and for the glory you have justly acquired by endeavoring to prevent it forever. This abomination must have an end, and there is a superior bench reserved in heaven for those who hasten it. ~ [[Thomas Jefferson]]]]
[[File:Flag of South Carolina (1861).svg|thumb|In 1776, South Carolina delegates to the Continental Congress forced Thomas Jefferson to remove a clause condemning slavery from the Declaration of Independence. In 1787, South Carolinians were primarily responsible for the constitution's fugitive slave clause and provision allowing the importation of slaves from abroad to continue for twenty additional years. Until 1860, a tight-knit coterie of plantation owners controlled the state. ~ [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]]]]
[[File:Fort sumter 1861.jpg|thumb|South Carolina has never really come to terms with its tortured history. ~ [[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]]]]
[[File:Articles page1.jpg|thumb|Blacks got federal passports implying that they were citizens... The ''Articles of Confederation'' stated that ''{{'}}the free inhabitants of these states... shall be entitled to all privileges of immunities of free citizens in the several states{{'}}'', Congress voted down South Carolina's proposal to insert the word 'white' into this clause. ~ [[w:Thomas G. West|Thomas G. West]]]]
[[File:Hamburg cartoon.jpg|thumb|They still honor Benjamin Tillman down here, which is very much like honoring a malignant tumor. ~ [[w:Bob Herbert|Bob Herbert]]]]
[[File:South Carolina Declaration and Ordinance of Secession.djvu|thumb|[[w:South Carolina|South Carolina]] went to [[American Civil War|war]], as she said in her [[s:Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union|secession proclamation]], because slavery would not be secure under [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]. South Carolina ought to know what was the cause for her seceding. ~ [[John S. Mosby|John Singleton Mosby]]]]
[[File:George Peter Alexander Healy - John C. Calhoun - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|I never know what South Carolina thinks of a measure. I never consult her. ~ [[John C. Calhoun]]]]
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}

== Quotes ==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;
===A===
*If the Republican party with its platform of principles, the main feature of which is the abolition of slavery and, therefore, the destruction of the South, carries the country at the next Presidential election, shall we remain in the Union, or form a separate Confederacy? This is the great, grave issue. It is not who shall be President, it is not which party shall rule -- it is a question of political and social existence.
**[[w:Alfred P. Aldrich|Alfred P. Aldrich]], as quoted in ''Crisis of Fear'', by Steven Channing, pp. 141&amp;ndash;142.

===B===
*In the 1950s, the battle flag was revived not just as a symbol of resistance to federally mandated desegregation. The stars and bars was also a symbol of terror, of the violent intimidation of African Americans who dared assert their rights. The stars and bars promised lynching, police violence against protestors and others, and violence against churches. S.C.'s state flag is a flag of [[slavery]]. But it is also a flag of terrorism. That terror is among other things anti-religious and particularly, anti-Christian. Churches have been bombed &amp; burned for what it symbolizes. Ministers, worshippers, people singing hymns have been attacked time and time again by those who serve it and those who wave it. So here we are again. S.C. may lower the pro-terrorism, proslavery, anti-religious flag to half mast for a day. But they plan to raise it again.
**[[w:Edward E. Baptist|Edward E. Baptist]], [https://archive.is/o/092cr/https://twitter.com/Ed_Baptist ''Twitter''] (18 June 2015), as quoted in [https://archive.is/092cr &quot;Confederate Flag's Place at the South Carolina Statehouse Questioned After Church Shooting&quot;] (18 June 2015), ''Newsweek''.

* South Carolina, come on and raise up! This one's for you! This one's for who? Us, us, us! Yes, sir!
** [[w:Petey Pablo|Moses Mortimer Barrett III]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/peteypablo/raiseupallcitiesremix.html &quot;Raise Up: All Cities Remix&quot;] (2001), ''Diary of a Sinner: 1st Entry'', Jive Records.

* North Carolina, South Carolina, and all my little itty-bitty hick towns.
** [[w:Petey Pablo|Moses Mortimer Barrett III]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/peteypablo/raiseupallcitiesremix.html &quot;Raise Up: All Cities Remix&quot;] (2001), ''Diary of a Sinner: 1st Entry'', Jive Records.

*Whatever is necessary to continue the separation of the races in the schools of South Carolina is going to be done by the white people of the state. That is my ticket as a private citizen. It will be my ticket as governor.
**[[w:James F. Byrnes|James F. Byrnes]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=POhHuoGILNYC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;lpg=PA51&amp;dq=%22the+Democratic+Party+means+that+the+white+man+is+supreme%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=iD7nFXAQ_N&amp;sig=PzFIHIdRdwSjckxr9aWXTodgdTg&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIw8_BmNC0xwIVRnY-Ch0DpQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false inaugural address] (1951).

===C===
* I never know what South Carolina thinks of a measure. I never consult her. I act to the best of my judgment, and according to my conscience. If she approves, well and good. If she does not, or wishes any one to take my place, I am ready to vacate. We are even.
**[[John C. Calhoun]], reported in Walter J. Miller, &quot;Calhoun as a Lawyer and Statesman&quot;' part 2, ''The Green Bag'' (June 1899), p. 271. Miller states &quot;I will cite his own words&quot;, but this quotation is reported as not verified in Calhoun's writings in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989).

*With us the two great divisions of society are not the rich and the poor, but white and black, and all the former, the poor as well as the rich, belong to the upper class, and are respected.
**[[John C. Calhoun]], as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20070123074414/http://www.claremont.org/publications/pubid.667/pub_detail.asp speech in the U.S. Senate] (12 August 1849).

*The issue before the country is the extinction of slavery... No man of common sense, who has observed the progress of events, and is not prepared to surrender [[Slavery|the institution]]... The time for action has come &amp;ndash; now or never... The existence of slavery is at stake.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=fjiZ9oIhsnsC&amp;pg=PT25&amp;dq=%22Charleston+mercury%22+%22issue+before+the%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCkQ6AEwAmoVChMIwbjhnKDOxwIVSjg-Ch0b2w3d#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Charleston%20mercury%22%20%22issue%20before%20the%22&amp;f=false ''Charleston Mercury''] (3 November 1860).

*To talk of maintaining our independence while we abolish slavery is simply to talk folly.
**[http://civilwartalk.com/threads/fighting-for-slavery.80951/page-12 ''Courier''] (24 January 1865), Charleston.

*We can trust white men to do right by the inferior race, but we cannot trust the inferior race with power over the white man.
**[https://books.google.com/books?id=vb3Mx7GqAmwC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=isbn:9780230600621&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAGoVChMIi92Er-SPxwIVhnQ-Ch3plQCk#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Charleston News and Courier''].

* We, the people of the State of South Carolina, in Convention assembled, grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the preservation and perpetuation of the same.
** [http://www.scstatehouse.gov/scconstitution/SCConstitution.pdf Preamble to the Constitution of the State of South Carolina] (4 December 1895), [[w:Constitution of South Carolina|Constitution of the State of South Carolina]].

*I am no more a child, but a man; no longer a confederacy, but a nation. I am no more Virginia, New York, Carolina, or Massachusetts, but the United States of America.
**[[George William Curtis]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/orationsandaddr03curtgoog &quot;The Good Fight&quot;] (1865).

===D===
*I am actually looking forward to the day when I visit South Carolina. The actions of the people in demanding change that took place on July 10, 2015 have helped transform my perception of that state. The people have broken free from the shackles of a mythical past and the limitations of the racism that has impeded them for far too long. Their representatives acted on the demands of the people.
**Jimmy Dick, [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/the-hypocrisy-of-connie-chastain-continued/#comments &quot;The Hypocrisy of Connie&quot;] (12 July 2015), ''Crossroads''.

*A Philadelphia writer on this subject, Mr. A. K. McClure, declares that such prejudice was much stronger in his own State, in 1886, than in South Carolina.
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/the-nations-problem/ speech].

===F===
*'''I have taught in South Carolina and lectured in the state numerous times. I have unfailingly been treated with courtesy and respect'''. Roof does not speak for all the white people in the state. '''Nonetheless, South Carolina has never really come to terms with its tortured history'''. Here are a few highlights of the state's extreme pro-slavery, white-supremacist past. In 1776, South Carolina delegates to the Continental Congress forced Thomas Jefferson to remove a clause condemning slavery from the Declaration of Independence. In 1787, South Carolinians were primarily responsible for the constitution's fugitive slave clause and provision allowing the importation of slaves from abroad to continue for twenty additional years. Until 1860, a tight-knit coterie of plantation owners controlled the state; they did not even allow the white citizens to vote in presidential elections, the legislature chose the state's members of the Electoral College. Before the Civil War, South Carolina was one of two states, along with Mississippi, where nearly a majority of white families owned slaves, and had the largest black majority in its population, nearly 60 percent in 1860. This combination produced a unique brand of extremism in defense of slavery. The state was the birthplace of nullification, the first to secede, and the site of the first shot of the Civil War. During Reconstruction, black Carolinians enjoyed a brief moment of civil equality and genuine political power, but this ended with a violent 'Redemption', followed by decades of Jim Crow. More recently, South Carolina led the southern walk-out from the 1948 Democratic National Convention to protest a civil-rights plank in the party's platform, and supported its native son, Strom Thurmond, who ran as the 'Dixiecrat' candidate for president.
**[[w:Eric Foner|Eric Foner]], [http://www.thenation.com/article/210817/historical-roots-dylann-roofs-racism# &quot;The Historical Roots of Dylann Roof's Racism: South Carolina’s warped public display of its white-supremacist history confronts South Carolinians, white and black, with a stark message about who rules the state&quot;] (25 June 2015), ''The Nation''.

===G===
* During the war of the Revolution, and in 1788, the date of the adoption of our national Constitution, there was but one State among the thirteen whose constitution refused the right of suffrage to the negro. That State was South Carolina. Some, it is true, established a property qualification; all made freedom a prerequisite; but none save South Carolina made color a condition of suffrage. The Federal Constitution makes no such distinction, nor did the Articles of Confederation. In the Congress of the Confederation, on the 25th of June, 1778, the fourth article was under discussion. It provided that 'the free inhabitants of each of these States — paupers, vagabonds, and fugitives from justice excepted — shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of free citizens in the several States.' The delegates from South Carolina moved to insert between the words 'free inhabitants' the word 'white', thus denying the privileges and immunities of citizenship to the colored man. According to the rules of the convention, each State had but one vote. Eleven States voted on the question. One was divided; two voted aye; and eight voted no.&lt;!--Elliot's Debates, Vol. I. p. 90.--&gt; It was thus early, and almost unanimously, decided that ''freedom'', not color, should be the test of citizenship. '''No federal legislation prior to 1812 placed any restriction on the right of suffrage in consequence of the color of the citizen. From 1789 to 1812 Congress passed ten separate laws establishing new Territories. In all these, freedom, and not color, was the basis of suffrage.'''
**[[James A. Garfield]], [https://archive.org/stream/worksjamesabram00garfgoog/worksjamesabram00garfgoog_djvu.txt Oration delivered at Ravenna, Ohio] (4 July 1865).

[[File:Gay Dolphin Gift Cove sign.jpg|thumb|How old did a place like this have to be, in America, to have “gay” in its name? —William Gibson&lt;br&gt;'''image:''' Myrtle Beach, SC]]
* Milgrim considered the dog-headed angels in [[w:Gay Dolphin Gift Cove|Gay Dolphin Gift Cove]]…in the most thoroughgoing trove of roadside American souvenir kitsch he’d ever seen. How old did a place like this have to be, in America, to have “gay” in its name? Some percentage of the stock here, he judged, had been manufactured in Occupied Japan.
** [[William Gibson]], ''[[Zero History]]'', 2010 (a South Carolina native, on Myrtle Beach).

* They were headed inland [from Myrtle Beach] through a landscape that reminded Milgrim of driving somewhere near Los Angeles, to a destination you wouldn’t be particularly anxious to reach. This abundantly laned highway, lapped by the lots of outlet malls, a Home Depot the size of a cruise ship, theme restaurants. Though interstitial detritus still spoke stubbornly of maritime activity and the farming of tobacco. Fables from before the [[w:Californication (word)|Anaheiming]].
** [[William Gibson]], ''[[Zero History]]'', 2010 (South Carolina native).

===H===
*We all woke up today and the heart and soul of South Carolina was broken. And so we have some grieving to do, and we've got some pain we have to go through. Parents are having to explain to the their kids that they have to go to church and feel safe and that's not something that we ever thought we'd would have to deal with. Having said that, we are a strong the and faithful state. We love our state, we love our county, and most importantly we love each other. And I will tell you there is a lot of prayer in this state. And so you are going to see all of us try and lift these nine families up in prayer, because they need us. These nine families need us, the Emmanuel AME church needs us, the AME church family need us, and the people of South Carolina needs us to come together and be strong for what has happened.
**[[w:Nikki Haley|Nimrata Haley]], as quoted in [http://www.mediaite.com/tv/sc-gov-nikki-haley-fights-back-tears-during-emotional-charleston-shooting-speech/ &quot;SC Gov. Nikki Haley Fights Back Tears During Emotional Charleston Shooting Speech&quot;] (18 June 2015), by Alex Griswold, ''Mediaite''.

*We really kind of fixed all that when you elected the first Indian-American female governor, when we appointed the first African-American U.S. senator. That sent a huge message... On matters of race, South Carolina has had a tough history; we all know that. Many of us have seen it in our lives, in the lives of our parents and grandparents. We don't need reminders... For those who wish to respect the flag on private property, no one will stand in your way. But the statehouse is different. The events this past week call on us to look at this in a different way... We are not going to allow this symbol to divide us any longer... The fact that it causes so [much] pain is enough to move it from the capitol grounds. It is, after all, a capitol that belongs to all of us... It will be fitting our state will soon fly the flags of our country, of our state, and no other.
**[[w:Nikki Haley|Nimrata Haley]], as quoted in [http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2015/06/22/the-5-most-important-quotes-from-nikki-haleys-confederate-flag-speech/?tid=pm_politics_pop_b ''The Washington Post''] (22 June 2015).

*Started in Atlanta, then I spread out with it. South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi. On to North Carolina, Philadelphia, and Virginia. From down in Miami where it's warm in the winter. On up to Minnesota where it storms in the winter.
**[[w:T.I.|Clifford Harris]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/djkhaled/wetakinover.html &quot;We Takin' Over&quot;].

*They still honor [[Benjamin Tillman]] down here, which is very much like honoring a malignant tumor. A statue of Tillman, who was known as 'Pitchfork Ben', is on prominent display outside the statehouse. Tillman served as governor and U.S. senator in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. A mortal enemy of black people, he bragged that he and his followers had disenfranchised 'as many as we could', and he publicly defended the murder of blacks.
**[[w:Bob Herbert|Bob Herbert]], [http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/22/opinion/22herbert.html?hp &quot;The Blight That is Still With Us&quot;] (22 January 2008), ''The New York Times''.

*The three States of Georgia, Florida and South Carolina, comprising the military department of the south, having deliberately declared themselves no longer under the protection of the United States of America, and having taken up arms against the said United States, it becomes a military necessity to declare them under martial law. This was accordingly done on the 25th day of April, 1862. Slavery and martial law in a free country are altogether incompatible; the persons in these three States — Georgia, Florida, and South Carolina— heretofore held as slaves, are therefore declared forever free.
**[[David Hunter]], [http://www.freedmen.umd.edu/hunter.htm#HUNTER General Order No. 11] (9 May 1862), Department of the South

===J===
* I congratulate you, my dear friend, on the law of your state for suspending the importation of slaves, and for the glory you have justly acquired by endeavoring to prevent it forever. This abomination must have an end, and there is a superior bench reserved in heaven for those who hasten it.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], [http://alexpeak.com/twr/jefferson/#1784 letter to Edward Rutledge] (14 July 1787)

===K===
*The [[Republican Party (United States)|anti-slavery party]] contend that slavery is wrong in itself, and the Government is a consolidated national democracy. We of the South contend that slavery is right, and that this is a confederate Republic of sovereign States.
**[[w:Laurence M. Keitt|Laurence M. Keitt]], as quoted in &quot;Congressman from South Carolina, in a speech to the House&quot; (25 January 1860), ''The Congressional Globe''.

*The [[Republican Party (United States)|anti-slavery party]] contend that slavery is wrong in itself, and the Government is a consolidated national democracy. We of the South contend that slavery is right, and that this is a confederate Republic of sovereign States.
**[[w:Laurence M. Keitt|Laurence M. Keitt]], as quoted in &quot;Congressman from South Carolina, in a speech to the House&quot; (25 January 1860), ''The Congressional Globe''.

===L===
*It happened on Calhoun Street, in a church that was founded by Denmark Vesey. Just a few miles from the opening salvo of a rebellion intended to establish a slaveholding republic. Just up the road from Columbia, where a Confederate flag still flies on the capitol grounds. A street named after one of the intellectual architects of white supremacy.
**[[w:Kevin Levin|Kevin Levin]], [http://cwmemory.com/2015/06/18/it-happened-on-calhoun-street/ &quot;It Happened on Calhoun Street&quot;] (18 June 2015), ''Civil War Memorial''.

*Controversy surrounding the Confederate flag in Columbia has its roots in the Civil Rights Movement and resistance to integration. When that flag went up atop the state house in the early 1960s the government of South Carolina thereby sanctioned its use by whites throughout the state and beyond as part of their resistance to demands by black Americans for freedom and equal rights. The flag atop the capitol signaled to the rest of the world that South Carolina intended to remain a white man's government in the name of white supremacy.
**[[w:Kevin Levin|Kevin Levin]], [http://cwmemory.com/2015/06/22/nikki-haley-and-lindsey-graham-to-call-for-removal-of-confederate-flag/ &quot;Nikki Haley and Lindsey Graham to Call for Removal of Confederate Flag&quot;] (22 June 2015), ''Civil War Memorial''.

===M===
*I have never doubted what [[Virginia]] would do when the alternatives present themselves to her intelligent and gallant people, to choose between an association with her sisters and the dominion of a people, who have chosen [[Abraham Lincoln|their leader upon the single idea that the African is equal to the Anglo-Saxon, and with the purpose of placing our slaves on equality with ourselves and our friends of every condition]]! and if we of South Carolina have aided in your deliverance from tyranny and degradation, as you suppose, it will only the more assure us that we have performed our duty to ourselves and our sisters in taking the first decided step to preserve an inheritance left us by an ancestry whose spirit would forbid its being tarnished by assassins. '''We, of [[w:South Carolina in the American Civil War|South Carolina]], hope soon to greet you in a Southern Confederacy, where white men shall rule our destinies, and from which we may transmit to our posterity the rights, privileges, and honor left us by our ancestors.'''
**[[w:John McQueen|John McQueen]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20150325131513/http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2006.05.0178%3Aarticle%3Dpos%3D47 ''Correspondence to T. T. Cropper and J. R. Crenshaw''] (24 December 1860), Washington, D.C., as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20110321183207/http://www.civilwar.org/education/history/civil-war-overview/why-non-slaveholding.html &quot;Why Non-Slaveholding Southeners Fought&quot;] (25 January 2011), by Gordon Rhea, ''Civil War Trust''.

*Upon what principle is it that the slaves shall be computed in the representation? Are they men? Then make them citizens, and let them vote. Are they property? Why, then, is no other property included? The Houses in [[w:Philadelphia|this city]] are worth more than all the wretched slaves which cover the rice swamps of South Carolina.
**[[w:Gouverneur Morris|Gouverneur Morris]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=-WKjBgAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PA87&amp;dq=%22in+defiance+of+the+most+sacred%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIgNjKlvTRxwIVRWw-Ch2KcAwL#v=onepage&amp;q=%22in%20defiance%20of%20the%20most%20sacred%22&amp;f=false Constitutional Convention] (1787).

* [[w:Confederate States of America|The South]] went to [[American Civil War|war]] on account of [[slavery]]. '''[[w:South Carolina in the American Civil War|South Carolina]] went to war, as she said in her [[s:Declaration of the Immediate Causes Which Induce and Justify the Secession of South Carolina from the Federal Union|secession proclamation]], because slavery would not be secure under [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]. South Carolina ought to know what was the cause for her seceding.'''
** [[John S. Mosby|John Singleton Mosby]], as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20131112054334/https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/reconstruction/resources/former-confederate-officer-slavery-and-civil-war-1907 letter to Samuel &quot;Sam&quot; Chapman] (4 June 1907).

===N===
*By the time the Constitutional Convention assembled, 1787, virtually all northern states, Vermont, Massachusetts, Philadelphia, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Connecticut, were implementing some form of gradual abolition. The lone exception, New York, followed the same path in 1799 after two failed attempts, in 1777 and 1785, were defeated by the state legislature. It was the delegates from the southern states, [[Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia]] and South Carolina, who pushed for the maintenance of the slave trade in opposition of those from the other states!
**[[w:David Navarro|David Navarro]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/more-of-the-same/#comment-47695 &quot;More of the Same&quot;] (12 July 2015), by D. Navarro, ''Crossroads''.

===O===
* For too long, we were blind to the pain that the Confederate flag stirred in too many of our citizens. It’s true, a flag did not cause these murders. But as people from all walks of life, Republicans and Democrats, now acknowledge, including Governor Haley, whose recent eloquence on the subject is worthy of praise as we all have to acknowledge, the flag has always represented more than just ancestral pride. For many, black and white, that flag was a reminder of systemic oppression and racial subjugation. We see that now. Removing the flag from this state's capitol would not be an act of political correctness; it would not be an insult to the valor of Confederate soldiers. It would simply be an acknowledgment that '''the cause for which they fought, the cause of slavery, was wrong. The imposition of Jim Crow after the Civil War, the resistance to civil rights for all people was wrong'''. It would be one step in an honest accounting of America's history; a modest but meaningful balm for so many unhealed wounds. It would be an expression of the amazing changes that have transformed this state and this country for the better, because of the work of so many people of goodwill, people of all races striving to form a more perfect union. By taking down that flag, we express God's grace.
**[[Barack Obama|Barack H. Obama II]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2015/06/26/remarks-president-eulogy-honorable-reverend-clementa-pinckney Remarks by the President in Eulogy for the Honorable Reverend Clementa Pinckney at College of Charleston] (26 June 2015), by B.H. Obama II, Charleston, South Carolina, U.S.

===P===
*Despite what [[Barack Obama|Obama]] says, racism is not passed along in DNA through the generations. If that were the case, America wouldn't be the tolerant, multi-racial country it is today. Yes, America, like the vast majority of the rest of the world, at one time participated in slavery. While the sin of slavery is not justified, it is important to acknowledge that the sin of slavery isn't a uniquely American sin, but rather one of mankind throughout the course of history. Further, owning slaves is not a sin unique to white people; in fact, black Africans sold other blacks into slavery, and still do today. Slavery is uniquely human, but societies and countries that respect human dignity, like America, have stopped the horrifying practice. America had the dignity to end slavery through a civil war and has since moved forward to correct wrongs with the civil rights movement, affirmative action, legislation, pop culture and much more. Institutional racism is no longer prevalent in the ways the left claims. Obama, elected twice by American voters, is black, as is former Attorney General Eric Holder and current Attorney General Loretta Lynch. There are a number of blacks serving in the U.S. Congress, including Republican Senator Tim Scott and Congresswoman Mia Love, Utah. The likes of Oprah Winfrey and Beyoncé are business and popular culture icons. Look around the world and you'll find that America is the most tolerant and open society on earth. The World Values Survey shows India, not the United States, is in fact the most racist country with a class system. The same survey has shown for years that Americans are among the least racist in the world and therefore are the most tolerant. Do racists exist in this country? Of course they do. Is their racism sanctioned by the government and celebrated by fellow citizens? Absolutely not. In fact, the Charleston shooter, who I refuse to name, told friends he felt isolated and alone in his evil, racist views. That's a silver lining. As a society we have corrected many of the wrongs of slavery and racism, the individuals who have not corrected their racist views are an innumerable minority roundly and strongly condemned by the rest of society. The Charleston shooter’s feelings about race are the exception, not the rule, in this country. This is demonstrated by the response in Charleston of blacks and whites holding hands and coming together, not apart, to honor the memory of those who were killed. America isn't a racist country, not even close, and it certainly isn't a 'white supremacist' society. The left falsely saying so promotes not progress but division. American history includes slavery and racism, but its current status and future as a whole does not. The people who lost loved ones at Emanuel AME Church have forgiven their killer. It's time the left does the same with America for her long past sins.
**[[w:Katie Pavlich|Catherine M. Pavlich]], [http://thehill.com/opinion/katie-pavlich/246440-katie-pavlich-america-is-not-racist &quot;Katie Pavlich: America Is Not Racist&quot;] (29 June 2015), ''The Hill'', News Communications, Inc.

*During the Constitutional Convention of 1787, the pro-slavery members, who eventually became the Democratic Party five years later, argued that slaves should be counted as citizens when considering the number of congressional seats their state would receive. They made this argument even though they had no intentions of giving the slaves the same rights afforded to the white citizens of their states. The anti-slavery members, who eventually became the Republican Party, strongly opposed this racist proposal. To finalize the constitution and not give in totally to the pro-slavery members, they reached a compromise with a three-fifths clause. Under the new clause, the pro-slavery states could only count the slaves three-fifths of a person when determining how many congressional seats their state would receive. Shortly after this matter was settled, Pierce Butler, a representative from the slave state of South Carolina argued that the document should include a Fugitive Slave Clause. Under his proposed recommendation, runaway slaves would be classified as criminals and treated as such. To avoid any further delays in finalizing the constitution, the constitutional convention approved the clause but stated the federal government would not enforce this clause, enforcement would be the responsibility of the individual slave state.
**[[w:Wayne Perryman|Wayne Perryman]], [http://www.amazon.com/Whites-Blacks-Racist-Democrats-Democratic-ebook/dp/B00AZNOJ5Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1438984361&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=wayne+perryman+democrats ''Whites, Blacks, and Racist Democrats''] (2009).

*South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum.
** [[w:James L. Petigru|James Petigru]] (1860), as quoted in [http://www.postandcourier.com/article/20100213/PC1602/302139961/ Too large to be an asylum] (13 February 2010) by Ken Burger, the Charleston ''Post and Courier''.

*South Carolina, a state filled with evangelicals and active and retired military.
**John Podhoretz, [http://nypost.com/2016/02/13/trump-was-out-of-control-in-south-carolina-debate/ &quot;Trump was out of control in South Carolina debate&quot;] (13 February 2016), ''New York Post''.

===R===
*A remedy is needed to meet the evil now existing in most of the southern states, but especially in that one which I have the honor to represent in part, the State of South Carolina. The enormity of the crimes constantly perpetrated there finds no parallel in the history of this republic in her very darkest days. There was a time when the early settlers of New England were compelled to enter the fields, their homes, even the very sanctuary itself, armed to the full extent of their means. While the people were offering their worship to God within those humble walls their voices kept time with the tread of the sentry outside. But, sir, it must be borne in mind that at the time referred to civilization had but just begun its work upon this continent. The surroundings were unpropitious, and as yet the grand capabilities of this fair land lay dormant under the fierce tread of the red man. But as civilization advanced with its steady and resistless sway it drove back those wild cohorts and compelled them to give way to the march of improvement. In course of time superior intelligence made its impress and established its dominion upon this continent. That intelligence, with an influence like that of the sun rising in the east and spreading its broad rays like a garment of light, gave life and gladness to the dark.
**[[Joseph Hayne Rainey]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150812200855/http://www.law.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/RaineyJ.pdf speech on the the Ku Klux Klan Bill of 1871] (1 April 1871).&lt;!--http://www.nationalblackrepublicans.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=pages.OtherNewsKilledSlavery--&gt;

*It has been asserted on this floor that the Republican Party is answerable for the existing state of affairs in the south. I am here to deny this, and to illustrate, I will say that in the State of South Carolina there is no disturbance of an alarming character in any one of the counties in which the Republicans have a majority. The troubles are usually in those sections in which the Democrats have a predominance in power, and, not content with this, desire to be supreme.
**[[Joseph Hayne Rainey]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150812200855/http://www.law.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/RaineyJ.pdf speech on the the Ku Klux Klan Bill of 1871] (1 April 1871).&lt;!--http://www.nationalblackrepublicans.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=pages.OtherNewsKilledSlavery--&gt;

*South Carolina and the other states decided not to go before the Supreme Court despite the fact that the Constitution requires them to. The Constitution says 'all cases' and it specifically includes 'controversies between two or more states'. South Carolina's specific complaint on December 24, 1860 was, 'The States of Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin and Iowa, have enacted laws which either nullify the Acts of Congress or render useless any attempt to execute them'. Instead of going to the Supreme Court with this complaint, South Carolina chose to declare, on its own, the U.S. Constitution 'has been deliberately broken and disregarded by the non-slaveholding States, and the consequence follows that South Carolina is released from her obligation'. By issuing an ordnance instead of obtaining a judgment, South Carolina produced a meaningless declaration that President Lincoln rightly considered 'legally void'. Between the time of South Carolina’s declaration and the war, Lincoln became President on March 4, 1861 and went about things business as usual, assuming correctly that all states including the seceding states were still part of the union. President Lincoln didn’t have to sue in the Supreme Court to bring the seceding states back because they never left. Secession declared was not secession accomplished. After South Carolina finally took un-ignorable military action against the USA at Ft. Sumter on April 12, 1861, President Lincoln asked Congress to give him authority to undertake a war to put down the rebellion.
**[[w:Michael Rodgers|Michael Rodgers]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/chat-room/ &quot;Chat-Room&quot;] (13 February 2014), ''Crossroads''.

*Even South Carolina argued that secession was extra-constitutional. In the declaration, South Carolina does bring up the Tenth Amendment, but not as a justification for secession; instead the Tenth Amendment is offered to buttress the argument that South Carolina was and continued to be an independent sovereign state when it ratified the Constitution and afterwards. South Carolina's rationale for secession was a new 'fundamental principle, namely: the law of compact'. This principle is in neither the Declaration of Independence nor the Constitution. South Carolina on its own, 1, characterized the Constitution as a compact, 2, claimed that it was 'deliberately broken and disregarded by the non-slaveholding States' and 3, declared that 'the consequence follows that South Carolina is released from her obligation'. South Carolina was not claiming to follow the Constitution when it declared secession. On the contrary, South Carolina was claiming that the Constitution was broken and therefore no longer applicable to South Carolina. South Carolina was claiming to follow something else entirely, the law of compact. South Carolina was not appealing to the Supreme Court to interpret secession as part of the Constitution. South Carolina was 'appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world'. And I think we all know how that turned out.
**[[w:Michael Rodgers|Michael Rodgers]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/chat-room/ &quot;Chat-Room&quot;] (13 February 2014), ''Crossroads''.

*South Carolinian secessionists believed that the constitution was a contract between the states, that the non-slaveholding states had broken it, and that S.C. could on its own decide that it was broken. The South Carolinian secessionists claimed that the Constitution had not designated an arbiter of controversies among two or more states, but it had. Article III of the Constitution gives the power to arbitrate such disputes to the U.S. Supreme Court. South Carolina's claim of no arbiter is false. South Carolina could have brought its complaints to the U.S. Supreme Court, but it chose not to. South Carolina's belief that the Constitution was a contract between the states was also false. The Constitution begins 'We the people' and it was ratified by the states on behalf of, not in place of, the people. Finally, South Carolina's belief that the non-slaveholding states broke the Constitution is false. The non-slaveholding states were merely exercising their tenth amendment rights to govern their own domestic affairs within the Constitutional structure.
**[[w:Michael Rodgers|Michael Rodgers]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/chat-room/ &quot;Chat-Room&quot;] (17 February 2014), ''Crossroads''.

*A state where it's always a great day... The State of South Carolina will always be the place of new beginnings and fresh starts... Thank you, South Carolina. Thank you! God bless you!
**[[Marco Rubio]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/regional/ speech to supporters in South Carolina] (20 February 2016).

===S===
*I don't like the idea of segregating everyone into smaller districts. Besides, the Justice Department assumes that the only way for African-Americans to have representation is to elect an African-American, and the same for whites. Obviously, my constituents don't think that's true.
**[[w:Tim Scott|Tim Scott]], as quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2001/01/19/us/us-sues-charleston-county-sc-alleging-violation-of-black-voting-rights.html &quot;U.S. Sues Charleston County, S.C., Alleging Violation of Black Voting Rights&quot;] (19 January 2001), by David Firestone, ''The New York Times''.

*The horror that occurred at Mother Emanuel last night has truly devastated our community. Emanuel AME means so much to so many, and we stand by them today as they mourn the loss of their leader and brothers and sisters in Christ. Pastor Pinckney was a good man, an honest man and a wonderful representative for his congregation. As reports come to light that a suspect is held in custody, I hope for swift justice for Pastor Pinckney's congregation and the people of Charleston. Today's prayer circle at Morris Brown AME Church will help our community begin to come to terms with what has happened, and start the healing process. While we unfortunately know that hate enters some people's hearts? I also know this, we can and will work every single day to replace hate with love, pain with kindness, and hostility with good will.
**[[w:Tim Scott|Tim Scott]], [http://www.scott.senate.gov/press-release/senator-tim-scott-statement-charleston-tragedy-0 &quot;Senator Tim Scott Statement on Charleston Tragedy&quot;] (18 June 2015), ''United States Senate''.

*Almost nine hundred and ninety nine out of every thousand of the decent people of South Carolina belong to the Democratic Party.
**[[w:Edwin G. Seibels|E.W. Seibels]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=lXEUAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA97&amp;lpg=PA97&amp;dq=%22decent+people+of+south+carolina+belong%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=HtERLW3EES&amp;sig=DCTdF_stc69IOTSJy_dttAstq0k&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCAQ6AEwAGoVChMI99z9jqyYxwIVTNUeCh06NwQd#v=onepage&amp;q=%22decent%20people%20of%20south%20carolina%20belong%22&amp;f=false testimony to the Joint Select Committee to Inquire Into the Condition of Affairs in the Southern States] (22 June 1871).

*No [[w:South Carolina|South Carolinian]], with the single exception of Calhoun, has ever made a profounder impression on his generation than [[Benjamin Tillman|Tillman]].
**[[w:Francis Butler Simkins|Francis Simkins]], ''Pitchfork Ben Tillman, South Carolinian'' (1967), Louisiana State University Press, OCLC 1877696, p. 546.

*I've watched and read the public reaction to the slaughter of nine people, nine African American people by a white supremacist gunman who warrants the description of a terrorist. As I read that commentary, I wonder how people would react if the gunman was a black male and the victims were white. Make no mistake about it; such a terrorist act is the logical if extreme outcome of white supremacy and intolerance. Apparently, reasons this particular white supremacist gunman, 'if you can't own them, exploit them, or remove them, you kill them'... As one might expect, the gunman’s fondness for Confederate heritage has become a focus of discussion. We’ve had people calling for the banning of Confederate flags as symbols of hate while certain defenders of Confederate heritage, sometimes after offering perfunctory statements of regret, rush to disassociate their cause from this mass murder or to offer other explanations for the gunman’s behavior. That’s to be expected, and it is to be regretted. We’ve had far too much discussion of the Confederate flag, both by people who hate it and people who love it, that trivialize the whole matter by turning it into a screaming match between extremes. Thoughtful commentary flounders in such environments, precisely because both sides will assail it. It's Sunday. If you haven’t already done so, think about the victims and their families and friends. Pray for those who have suffered. And think before you respond … because if you think that this whole matter can be reduced to whether we should allow the display of the Confederate flag, you really aren’t advancing the discussion very far.
**[[Brooks D. Simpson]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/06/21/charleston-white-supremacy-black-lives-and-red-blood/ &quot;Charleston: White Supremacy, Black Lives, and Red Blood&quot;] (21 June 2015), ''Crossroads''

*I think it's time for all this discussion about the proper display of the Confederate flag, which in some quarters appears to obscure the enormity of the massacre at Charleston, to get to the heart of the matter. You tell me. Should the Confederate battle flag, including its versions as the Army of Northern Virginia flag, the Army of Tennessee flag, and the Confederate navy jack, be flown outside, period? Do you favor the removal of the Confederate flag flying on the grounds of the South Carolina State House? Why? If you believe that the flying of the Confederate battle flag on the grounds of the South Carolina State House should cease, are there any conditions when a Confederate battle flag should appear outside? Should the Confederate battle flag be banned from public display elsewhere? T-shirts, bumper stickers, headgear? Are your restrictions limited to the Confederate battle flag alone, or do they extend to other flags flown by the Confederacy, such as the trio of national flags?
**[[Brooks D. Simpson]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/06/21/simple-questions/ &quot;Simple Questions&quot;] (21 June 2015), ''Crossroads''

*It certainly looks like the days of the Confederate battle flag flying on the grounds of the state house in Columbia, South Carolina are numbered. This is in large part due to prominent South Carolina political leaders changing positions under pressure given the recent mass murder in the state. No one can deny that. The arguments concerning the display of that particular flag are neither more nor less valid than before. Nor will the flag’s removal silence white supremacists and Confederate heritage advocates (especially those who have freely associated with white supremacists)... So, what's next? Will this debate subside or continue, as people look to other uses of Confederate icons and symbols? Is this simply about a flag that is as much a symbol of resistance to civil rights and equality as it was a symbol for soldiers whose performance on the battlefield might have secured the independence of a republic founded upon the cornerstone of white supremacy and inequality? One thing is clear: it has not been a good ten days for Confederate heritage advocates. Between licence plates, several SCV divisions rebuking other Confederate heritage groups for outrageous and childish behavior, and the fallout from Charleston, it may be that in 2015 people marked the 150th anniversary of the end of the Civil War by doing to Confederate heritage what Grant and Sherman did to the Confederacy itself in 1865.
**[[Brooks D. Simpson]], [https://cwcrossroads.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/down-it-comes-now-what/ &quot;Down it Comes: Now What?&quot;] (22 June 2015), ''Crossroads''

*Anti-slavery is essentially infidel. It wars upon the Bible, on the Church of Christ, on the truth of God, on the souls of men.
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20110321183207/http://www.civilwar.org/education/history/civil-war-overview/why-non-slaveholding.html Southern Presbyterian of S.C.]

*South Carolina... is more ideologically conservative, with a stronger local party leadership and a tradition of preferring mainstream candidates.
**Timothy Stanley, [http://www.edition.cnn.com/2016/02/10/opinions/donald-trump-republican-party-stanley/index.html &quot;Donald Trump can win &amp;ndash; and he must be stopped&quot;] (10 February 2016), ''CNN'', Georgia: Cable News Network.

*Slaves shall be deemed, taken, reputed, and adjudged to be chattels personal in the hands of their masters, and possessions to all intents and purposes whatsoever.
**State of South Carolina, as quoted in [http://www.libertarianism.org/publications/essays/human-being-cannot-be-justly-owned &quot;A Human Being Cannot Be Justly Owned&quot;] (1835), by [[William Ellery Channing]].

*It has been suggested that [[James Buchanan|the President]] intentionally left those forts in a defenseless condition, that [[w:South Carolina|South Carolina]] might seize them before his successor had time to take means for their safety. I cannot believe it; I will not believe it, for it would make [[James Buchanan|Mr. Buchanan]] a more odious traitor than Benedict Arnold. Every drop of blood that shall be shed in the conflict would sit heavy on his soul forever.
**[[Thaddeus Stevens]], as quoted in [http://civilwartalk.com/threads/thad-stevens-had-a-way-with-words.119379/ ''Selected Papers of Thaddeus Stevens'']

* The Senator from South Carolina has read many books of chivalry, and believes himself a chivalrous knight, with sentiments of honor and courage. Of course he has chosen a mistress to whom he has made his vows, and who, though ugly to others, is always lovely to him; though polluted in the sight of the world, is chaste in his sight I mean the harlot, Slavery. For her, his tongue is always profuse in words.
**[[Charles Sumner]], &quot;[[wikisource:The Crime against Kansas|The Crime against Kansas]],&quot; speech in the Senate (18 May 1856). The claims made against Senator [[w:Andrew Butler|Andrew Butler]] of [[w:South Carolina|South Carolina]] so angered Butler's cousin, Representative [[w:Preston Brooks|Preston Brooks]], that Brooks assaulted Sumner with a cane in the Senate chamber a few weeks later.

===T===
*Tillman was from South Carolina, and as I hear the story he was concerned that the corporations, Republican corporations, were favorable toward blacks and he felt that there was a need to regulate them.
**[[Clarence Thomas]], as quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/04/us/politics/04scotus.html?hp&amp;_r=0 ''Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission''] (February 2010).

*Now we have these hate groups and the symbols they use to remind African-Americans that things haven't changed and that they are still viewed as less than equal human beings. Well, let me tell you things have changed. Overwhelmingly, people are not being raised to hate or to believe they are superior to others based on the color of their skin.
**[[w:Paul Thurmond|Paul Thurmond]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150624021234/http://www.postandcourier.com/article/20150623/PC16/150629748 speech to the South Carolina General Assembly] (23 June 2015).

*For the life of me, I will never understand how anyone could fight a civil war based in part on the desire to continue the practice of slavery. Think about it for just a second. Our ancestors were literally fighting to continue to keep human beings as slaves, and continue the unimaginable acts that occur when someone is held against their will. I am not proud of that heritage.
**[[w:Paul Thurmond|Paul Thurmond]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20150624021234/http://www.postandcourier.com/article/20150623/PC16/150629748 speech to the South Carolina General Assembly] (23 June 2015).

*The whites have absolute control of the State government, and we intend at any and all hazards to retain it.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], as quoted in ''Pitchfork Ben Tillman, South Carolinian'' (1967), by Francis Butler Simkins. Louisiana State University Press. OCLC 1877696, p. 144.

*We deny, without regard to color, that 'all men are created equal'; it is not true now, and was not true when Jefferson wrote it.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], as quoted in ''Pitchfork Ben Tillman, South Carolinian'' (1967), by Francis Butler Simkins. Louisiana State University Press. OCLC 1877696, p. 144.

*How did [[w:Democratic Party (United States)|we]] recover [[w:Democratic Party (United States)|our]] liberty? By fraud and violence. We tried to overcome the thirty thousand majority by honest methods, which was a mathematical impossibility. After we had borne these indignities for eight years life became worthless under such conditions.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], as quoted in &quot;The Question of Race in the South Carolina Constitutional Convention of 1895&quot; (July 1952), by George B. Tindall. ''The Journal of Negro History'' 37 (3): 277–303. JSTOR 2715494., p. 94.

*We of the South have never recognized the right of the negro to govern white men, and we never will. We have never believed him to be the equal of the white man, and we will not submit to his gratifying his lust on our wives and daughters without lynching him.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], [http://www.charlesmphipps.net/the-real-lynching-party/ speech to the United States Senate].

*The action of [[Theodore Roosevelt|President Roosevelt]] in entertaining [[Booker T. Washington|that nigger]] will necessitate [[w:Democratic Party (United States)|our]] killing a thousand niggers in the South before they learn their place again.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], regarding [[w:Booker T. Washington|Booker T. Washington]]'s meeting with [[Theodore Roosevelt]], as quoted in [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0807825301 ''Ben Tillman and the Reconstruction of White Supremacy''] (2000), by Stephen Kantrowitz. University of North Carolina Press, p. 259.

*Republicanism means Negro equality, while the Democratic Party means that the white man is supreme. That is why we Southerners are all Democrats.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=POhHuoGILNYC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;lpg=PA51&amp;dq=%22the+Democratic+Party+means+that+the+white+man+is+supreme%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=iD7nFXAQ_N&amp;sig=PzFIHIdRdwSjckxr9aWXTodgdTg&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIw8_BmNC0xwIVRnY-Ch0DpQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22the%20Democratic%20Party%20means%20that%20the%20white%20man%20is%20supreme%22&amp;f=false speech] (1906).

*History has no record of Negro rule. The situation is grave, and calls for wisdom and all manner of statesmanship. If we had our say, the Negro could never vote. I believe that God made the white man out of better clay than that which the Negro was made from.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=POhHuoGILNYC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;lpg=PA51&amp;dq=%22the+Democratic+Party+means+that+the+white+man+is+supreme%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=iD7nFXAQ_N&amp;sig=PzFIHIdRdwSjckxr9aWXTodgdTg&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIw8_BmNC0xwIVRnY-Ch0DpQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22the%20Democratic%20Party%20means%20that%20the%20white%20man%20is%20supreme%22&amp;f=false speech] (1906).

*We don't need another race to help us at this time. In some of the states, the Negro holds the vote of control.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=POhHuoGILNYC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;lpg=PA51&amp;dq=%22the+Democratic+Party+means+that+the+white+man+is+supreme%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=iD7nFXAQ_N&amp;sig=PzFIHIdRdwSjckxr9aWXTodgdTg&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIw8_BmNC0xwIVRnY-Ch0DpQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22the%20Democratic%20Party%20means%20that%20the%20white%20man%20is%20supreme%22&amp;f=false speech] (1906).

*Look down that aisle, there's a nigger as black as the ace of spades!
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=POhHuoGILNYC&amp;pg=PA51&amp;lpg=PA51&amp;dq=%22the+Democratic+Party+means+that+the+white+man+is+supreme%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=iD7nFXAQ_N&amp;sig=PzFIHIdRdwSjckxr9aWXTodgdTg&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC4Q6AEwA2oVChMIw8_BmNC0xwIVRnY-Ch0DpQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=%22the%20Democratic%20Party%20means%20that%20the%20white%20man%20is%20supreme%22&amp;f=false speech] (1906).

*We reorganized the Democratic Party with one plank and only one plank, namely, that this is a white man's country and the white men must govern it.
**[[Benjamin Tillman]], in 1909, as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=1mwy-XB6bs8C&amp;pg=PA27&amp;lpg=PA27&amp;dq=%22We+reorganized+the+Democratic+Party+with+one+plank+and+only+one+plank%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=z38s4iS5Oi&amp;sig=-bHC9bf27SsAB3u_mTeTVENP1vs&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCgQ6AEwAmoVChMI28L2gZqPxwIVgTI-Ch1lWgai#v=onepage&amp;q=%22We%20reorganized%20the%20Democratic%20Party%20with%20one%20plank%20and%20only%20one%20plank%22&amp;f=false ''Voices of Civil War America: Contemporary Accounts of Daily Life''], by Lawrence Kreiser and Ray B. Browne, p. 27.
===W===
*The citizenship status of blacks was never quite clear. Obviously, they were not quite resident aliens, for they had no country but the United States. The federal government generally avoided taking a stand on black citizenship when the subject arose. A few blacks got federal passports implying that they were citizens... The ''Articles of Confederation'' stated that 'the free inhabitants of these states... shall be entitled to all privileges of immunities of free citizens in the several states', and '''Congress voted down South Carolina's proposal to insert the word 'white' into this clause'''. Chief Justice Taney, in the infamous 1857 ''Dred Scott'' decision, asserted that blacks had never been, and could never be, citizens of the United States. '''He was wrong'''.
**[[w:Thomas G. West|Thomas G. West]], as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=DjlpSl-x1gMC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=vindicating+the+founders&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CC8Q6AEwAGoVChMI0Jf4v8jRxwIVAXo-Ch1tYgf2#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Vindicating the Founders''] (2001), Maryland, p. 27.

* The triumphs of Christianity rest this very hour upon slavery; and slavery depends on the triumphs of the south... This war is the servant of slavery.
**[[w:John T. Wightman|John Wightman]], [http://civilwartalk.com/threads/fighting-for-slavery.80951/page-6 ''The Glory of God, the Defence of the South''] (1861), Yorkville, South Carolina.

== External links ==
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      <text bytes="17754" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Noodlanding watervliegtuig Emergency landing water plane.jpg|thumb| As centuries go, this has been one of the most amazing: inspiring, at times horrifying, always fascinating. ~ [[Walter Isaacson]]]]
[[File:Into the Jaws of Death 23-0455M edit.jpg|thumb| Cruelty and human brutality exceeded the worst expectations. In the trenches . . . seeds were sown for an era in which humans were viewed as material, not as individuals. ~ [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]] ]]
[[File:1991 coup attempt1.jpg|thumb|The major political event of the twentieth century is the death of [[socialism]]. ~ [[Irving Kristol]]]]
The [[w:Twentieth century|'''twentieth century''']] was the period between January 1, 1901 and December 31, 2000.
__NOTOC__
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==A==
*'''[[The Sum of All Fears (film)|Richard Dressler]]''': Most people believe the [[w:20th century|twentieth century]] was defined by the [[death]] [[War|struggle]] of [[capitalism]] versus [[communism]], and that [[fascism]] was but a hiccup. Today we [[Knowledge|know]] better. [[Communism]] was a [[Foolishness|fool]]'s errand, the followers of [[Karl Marx|Marx]] gone from this [[Earth]]; but the followers of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] [[Success|abound and thrive]]. [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]], however, had one great disadvantage. [[Adolf Hitler|He]] lived in a time when [[fascism]], like a [[Sickness|virus]], like the [[AIDS]] [[Sickness|virus]], required a strong host in order to spread. [[Germany]] was that host, but strong as it was, [[Germany]] couldn't [[Success|prevail]]. The [[world]] was too big. Fortunately, the [[world]] has changed. Global [[communication]], [[Television|cable TV]], the [[internet]]. Today the [[world]] is smaller, and [[Fascism|the virus]] no longer needs a strong host in order to spread. This virus is airborne... One more thing; let no man call us [[Insanity|crazy]]. They called [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] [[Insanity|crazy]], but [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] wasn't [[Insanity|crazy]]. [[Adolf Hitler|He]] was [[Stupidity|stupid]]. You don't fight [[Russia]] and [[w:United States|America]]. You get [[Russia]] and [[w:United States|America]] to [[War|fight each other]], and [[Death|destroy each other]].
**''[[The Sum of All Fears (film)|The Sum of All Fears]]'' (31 May 2002), written by [[w:Paul Attanasio|Paul Attanasio]] and Daniel Pyne, [[California]]: [[w:Paramount Pictures|Paramount Pictures Corporation]].

==B==
* The last century was defined by [[physics]]. From the minds of the world’s leading physicists there flowed a [[Rivers|river]] of [[ideas]] that would transport [[Humankind|man kind]] to the very pinnacle of [[wonder]] and to the very depths of [[despair]]. This was a century that began with the certainties of absolute [[knowledge]] and ended with the knowledge of absolute [[uncertainty]]. It was a century in which physicists developed [[Theory|theories]] that would deny us the possibility that we can ever properly comprehend the nature of physical [[reality]]. It was also a century in which they built [[Weapon|weapons]] with the capacity utterly to destroy this reality.
** [[Jim Baggott]], ''The Quantum Story: A History In 40 Moments'' (2011), &quot;Preface&quot;

* The birth of the 20th century was like a flaming sunrise. More was expected of the century than any other. So much had been achieved in the previous one that it seemed sensible to expect that henceforth the world's triumphs would far outweigh the disasters.
** [[Geoffrey Blainey]], ''A Short History of the Twentieth Century'' (2005)

* The political [[history]] of the 20th century is the history of [[Social engineering|social-engineering]] projects executed by well-intentioned people that began well and ended badly.
**[[David Brooks]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20200806191205/https://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/opinion/24brooks.html?_r=3&amp;ref=opinion &quot;The Big Test&quot;], ''[[The New York Times]]'' (23 February 2009), New York: The New York Times Company

* [This century has been called] the century of [[extremes]], . . . in which human [[vices]] reached unfathomable depths. [She notes that it has been] a century of great progress [and in some places of] unprecedented economic growth ... [At the same time, however, poor urban areas face a bleak future of] ... overcrowding and a disease pattern linked to poverty and an unhealthy environment.
** [[Gro Harlem Brundtland]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine (1999), 12/8

== C ==

* A child born tonight will have almost no memory of the 20th century. Everything that child will know about America will be because of what we do now to build a new century. We don't have a moment to waste. Tomorrow there will be just over 1,000 days until the year [[2000]]. One thousand days to prepare our people. One thousand days to work together. One thousand days to build a bridge to a land of new promise. My fellow Americans, we have work to do. Let us seize those days and the century.
** [[Bill Clinton]], 1997 State of the Union Address  

==D==
* The speed of its collapse has exceeded all the other great landslides of [[Europe|European]] [[history]], [and] it happened through natural causes ... the rise, development and collapse of the [[Soviet Union]], ... [was] one of the most dramatic spectacles of the twentieth century.
** The book ''Europe—A History'', by [[w:Norman Davies|Norman Davies]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* [The Soviet Union was] a vast multinational empire already sinking into irreversible decline.
** ''Down With Big Brother'', a book by [[w:Michael Dobbs|Michael Dobbs]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

== F ==

* Third, we must develop our [[energy]] technology and resources so that the United States has the ability to supply a significant share of the energy needs of the free world by the end of this century. To attain these objectives, we need immediate action to cut imports. Unfortunately, in the short term there are only a limited number of actions which can increase domestic supply. I will press for all of them.
** [[Gerald Ford|Gerald R. Ford]], 1974 State of the Union Address 

==H==
* The peoples of [[w:Western Europe|Western Europe]] and [[North America]] seemed to have every reason to greet the twentieth century as the dawn of a new and happier age in the history of mankind.
** [[w:Michael Howard|Michael Howard]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==I==
* The [[World War I|First World War]] was a landmark in the history of [[w:East Asia|East Asia]] and of the [[United States]] in many ways.
**[[w:Akira Iriye|Akira Iriye]], a professor of history at [[Harvard University]]., as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* As centuries go, this has been one of the most amazing: [[Inspiration|inspiring]], at times [[Horror|horrifying]], always fascinating.
** [[Walter Isaacson]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==K==
* August 1, [[1914]]: No one suspected that the [[19th century]], which had presented Europeans with a long period of [[peace]], ended on that day; and no one noticed that the 20th century actually began only at that time—with a time of war lasting three decades and demonstrating what men can do to fellow humans.
** [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* [[Cruelty]] and human brutality exceeded the worst expectations. In the [[w:Trench warfare|trenches]] . . . seeds were sown for an era in which humans were viewed as material, not as individuals.
** [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

*The major political event of the twentieth century is the death of [[socialism]].
**[[Irving Kristol]], ''Neo-Conservatism: The Autobiography of an Idea'' (1995)

==L==
* For almost a quarter of a century the affairs of the [[world]] and its [[ideas]] have been in indescribable [[confusion]]. In most cases the confusion of ideas is manifest without the aid of [[polemic]] or [[controversy]]. It is simple [[evidence]] of the [[chaotic]] state of the world. The succession of events since [[1914]] has swept away so many [[illusions]] that even a summary inspection of the heap of [[ideological]] ruins would demand the compilation of a veritable [[w:Encyclopedia|encyclopaedia]].
** [[Lucien Laurat]], ''Marxism and Democracy'', 1940, published by the ''{{w|Left Book Club}}'', Victor Gollancz Ltd, London; translated by Edward Fitzgerald. [https://www.marxists.org/archive/laurat/1940/marxism-democracy/ Text online] at the ''{{w|Marxists Internet Archive}}''.

== M ==

* At the outgoing of the old and the incoming of the new century you begin the last session of the [[w:Fifty-sixth Congress|Fifty-sixth Congress]] with evidences on every hand of individual and national [[prosperity]] and with proof of the growing [[strength]] and increasing [[power]] for good of Republican institutions. Your countrymen will join with you in felicitation that American liberty is more firmly established than ever before, and that love for it and the [[determination]] to preserve it are more universal than at any former period of our history
** [[William McKinley]], 1900 State of the Union Address

== N ==

* If we are to have peace in the last third of the century, a major factor will be the development of a new relationship between the United States and the Soviet Union. I would not underestimate our differences, but we are moving with precision and purpose from an era of confrontation to an era of negotiation. Our [[w:SALT|negotiations on strategic arms limitations]] and in other areas will have far greater chance for success if both sides enter them motivated by mutual self-interest rather than naive sentimentality. It is with this same spirit that we have resumed discussions with [[China|Communist China]] in our talks at [[w:Warsaw|Warsaw]]. Our concern in our relations with both these nations is to avoid a catastrophic collision and to build a solid basis for peaceful settlement of our differences. I would be the last to suggest that the road to peace is not difficult and dangerous, but I believe our new policies have contributed to the prospect that America may have the best chance since [[World War II]] to enjoy a generation of uninterrupted peace. And that chance will be enormously increased if we continue to have a relationship between [[United States Congress|Congress]] and the [[President of the United States|Executive]] in which, despite differences in detail, where the security of America and the peace of mankind are concerned, we act not as [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]], not as [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrats]], but as Americans.
** [[Richard Nixon]], 1970 State of the Union Address 
*As we look back over this century, let us, in the highest spirit of bipartisanship, recognize that we can be proud of our Nation's record in [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign affairs]]. America has given more generously of itself toward maintaining freedom, preserving peace, alleviating human suffering around the globe, than any nation has ever done in the history of man. We have fought four wars in this century, but our power has never been used to break the peace, only to keep it; never been used to destroy freedom, only to defend it. We now have within our reach the goal of insuring that the next generation can be the first generation in this century to be spared the scourges of war. 
**Richard Nixon, 1972 State of the Union Address

==P==
* [[Revolution]] rather than [[reform]] was necessary ... but it took a major war, the First World War, and the consequent chaos, to precipitate the revolution proper.
** [[w:Geoffrey Ponton|Geoffrey Ponton]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==R==
*To many of us now, [[computers]], [[w:silicon chip|silicon chips]], data processing, [[cybernetics]], and all the other innovations of the dawning [[Information age|high technology age]] are as mystifying as the workings of the [[w:internal combustion engine|combustion engine]] must have been when that first Model T rattled down Main Street, U.S.A. But as surely as America's pioneer spirit made us the industrial giant of the 20th century, the same pioneer spirit today is opening up on another vast front of opportunity, the frontier of high technology.
**[[Ronald Reagan]], 1982 State of the Union Address 
*Well, today physicists peering into the infinitely small realms of subatomic [[Particle|particles]] find reaffirmations of religious faith. [[Astronomy|Astronomers]] build a [[w:Space telescope|space telescope]] that can see to the edge of the [[universe]] and possibly back to the moment of [[creation]]. So, yes, this nation remains fully committed to [[NASA|America's space program]]. We're going forward with our [[w:space shuttle|shuttle]] flights. We're going forward to build our [[w:Space station|space station]]. And we are going forward with research on a new Orient Express that could, by the end of the next decade, take off from [[w:Dulles International Airport|Dulles Airport]], accelerate up to 25 times the [[w:Speed of sound|speed of sound]], attaining [[w:Low Earth orbit|low Earth orbit]] or flying to [[w:Tokyo|Tokyo]] within 2 hours. And the same technology transforming our lives can solve the greatest problem of the 20th century. A security shield can one day render [[nuclear weapons]] obsolete and free mankind from the prison of nuclear terror. America met one historic challenge and [[Apollo 11|went to the Moon]]. Now America must meet another: to make our strategic defense real for all the citizens of planet [[Earth]].
**Ronald Reagan, 1986 State of the Union Address 
*[T]he history of the 20th century was basically that of the swath of destruction left across the globe by socialist ideas, from the international socialism of the [[Bolsheviks]] and the Soviet Union to the [[Nazism|national socialism]] of [[Adolf Hitler]] and his [[w:National Socialist German Workers' Party|National Socialist German Workers' Party]].
**[[Glenn Reynolds]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20160212002639/http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/02/11/glenn-reynolds-socialism-bernie-sanders-young-millennial-voters-column/80169668/ &quot;Socialism not as hot as its spokesman&quot;] (11 February 2016), ''[[w:USA Today|USA Today]]''
*The tremendous and highly complex industrial development which went on with ever accelerated rapidity during the latter half of the [[19th century|nineteenth century]] brings us face to face, at the beginning of the twentieth, with very serious social problems. The old [[Law|laws]], and the old [[customs]] which had almost the binding force of law, were once quite sufficient to regulate the accumulation and distribution of [[wealth]]. Since the [[Industrial Revolution|industrial changes]] which have so enormously increased the productive power of mankind, they are no longer sufficient.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], 1901 State of the Union Address  
*The Congress has wisely provided that we shall build at once an [[w:Panama Canal|isthmian canal]], if possible at [[Panama]]. The Attorney-General reports that we can undoubtedly acquire good title from the French Panama Canal Company. Negotiations are now pending with [[Colombia]] to secure her assent to our building the canal. This canal will be one of the greatest engineering feats of the twentieth century; a greater engineering feat than has yet been accomplished during the history of mankind. The work should be carried out as a continuing policy without regard to change of Administration; and it should be begun under circumstances which will make it a matter of pride for all Administrations to continue the policy.
**Theodore Roosevelt, 1907 State of the Union Address

==S==
* The line separating [[Goodness|good]] and [[evil]] passes not through [[State|states]], nor between [[Social class|classes]], nor between [[political parties]] either – but right through every human [[heart]]…even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small [[w:Bridgehead|bridgehead]] of good is retained. And even in the best of all hearts, there remains…an uprooted small corner of evil.&lt;p&gt;Thanks to [[ideology]] the twentieth century was fated to experience evildoing calculated on a scale in the millions.&lt;p&gt;Alas, all the evil of the twentieth century is possible everywhere on earth. Yet, I have not given up all hope that human beings and nations may be able, in spite of all, to learn from the experience of other people without having to go through it personally.
** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], ''[[The Gulag Archipelago]]'' (1973)

==T==
* Anyone desiring a quiet life has done badly to be born in the twentieth century.
** Attributed to [[Leon Trotsky]], quoted in [[Isaiah Berlin]]. &quot;Political Ideas in the Twentieth Century&quot;.
*In [[Asia]] and [[Africa]], the economic and social problems are different but no less urgent. There hundreds of millions of people are in ferment, exploding into the twentieth century, thrusting toward equality and independence and improvement in the hard conditions of their lives.
**[[Harry S. Truman]], 1953 State of the Union Address 

==External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
[[Category:20th century| ]]</text>
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      <text bytes="18166" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Noodlanding watervliegtuig Emergency landing water plane.jpg|thumb| As centuries go, this has been one of the most amazing: inspiring, at times horrifying, always fascinating. ~ [[Walter Isaacson]]]]
[[File:Into the Jaws of Death 23-0455M edit.jpg|thumb| Cruelty and human brutality exceeded the worst expectations. In the trenches . . . seeds were sown for an era in which humans were viewed as material, not as individuals. ~ [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]] ]]
[[File:1991 coup attempt1.jpg|thumb|The major political event of the twentieth century is the death of [[socialism]]. ~ [[Irving Kristol]]]]
The [[w:Twentieth century|'''twentieth century''']] was the period between January 1, 1901 and December 31, 2000.
__NOTOC__
{{TOCalpha}}
==A==
*'''[[The Sum of All Fears (film)|Richard Dressler]]''': Most people believe the [[w:20th century|twentieth century]] was defined by the [[death]] [[War|struggle]] of [[capitalism]] versus [[communism]], and that [[fascism]] was but a hiccup. Today we [[Knowledge|know]] better. [[Communism]] was a [[Foolishness|fool]]'s errand, the followers of [[Karl Marx|Marx]] gone from this [[Earth]]; but the followers of [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] [[Success|abound and thrive]]. [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]], however, had one great disadvantage. [[Adolf Hitler|He]] lived in a time when [[fascism]], like a [[Sickness|virus]], like the [[AIDS]] [[Sickness|virus]], required a strong host in order to spread. [[Germany]] was that host, but strong as it was, [[Germany]] couldn't [[Success|prevail]]. The [[world]] was too big. Fortunately, the [[world]] has changed. Global [[communication]], [[Television|cable TV]], the [[internet]]. Today the [[world]] is smaller, and [[Fascism|the virus]] no longer needs a strong host in order to spread. This virus is airborne... One more thing; let no man call us [[Insanity|crazy]]. They called [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] [[Insanity|crazy]], but [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] wasn't [[Insanity|crazy]]. [[Adolf Hitler|He]] was [[Stupidity|stupid]]. You don't fight [[Russia]] and [[w:United States|America]]. You get [[Russia]] and [[w:United States|America]] to [[War|fight each other]], and [[Death|destroy each other]].
**''[[The Sum of All Fears (film)|The Sum of All Fears]]'' (31 May 2002), written by [[w:Paul Attanasio|Paul Attanasio]] and Daniel Pyne, [[California]]: [[w:Paramount Pictures|Paramount Pictures Corporation]].

==B==
* The last century was defined by [[physics]]. From the minds of the world’s leading physicists there flowed a [[Rivers|river]] of [[ideas]] that would transport [[Humankind|man kind]] to the very pinnacle of [[wonder]] and to the very depths of [[despair]]. This was a century that began with the certainties of absolute [[knowledge]] and ended with the knowledge of absolute [[uncertainty]]. It was a century in which physicists developed [[Theory|theories]] that would deny us the possibility that we can ever properly comprehend the nature of physical [[reality]]. It was also a century in which they built [[Weapon|weapons]] with the capacity utterly to destroy this reality.
** [[Jim Baggott]], ''The Quantum Story: A History In 40 Moments'' (2011), &quot;Preface&quot;

* The birth of the 20th century was like a flaming sunrise. More was expected of the century than any other. So much had been achieved in the previous one that it seemed sensible to expect that henceforth the world's triumphs would far outweigh the disasters.
** [[Geoffrey Blainey]], ''A Short History of the Twentieth Century'' (2005)

* The political [[history]] of the 20th century is the history of [[Social engineering|social-engineering]] projects executed by well-intentioned people that began well and ended badly.
**[[David Brooks]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20200806191205/https://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/opinion/24brooks.html?_r=3&amp;ref=opinion &quot;The Big Test&quot;], ''[[The New York Times]]'' (23 February 2009), New York: The New York Times Company

* [This century has been called] the century of [[extremes]], . . . in which human [[vices]] reached unfathomable depths. [She notes that it has been] a century of great progress [and in some places of] unprecedented economic growth ... [At the same time, however, poor urban areas face a bleak future of] ... overcrowding and a disease pattern linked to poverty and an unhealthy environment.
** [[Gro Harlem Brundtland]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine (1999), 12/8

== C ==

* A child born tonight will have almost no memory of the 20th century. Everything that child will know about America will be because of what we do now to build a new century. We don't have a moment to waste. Tomorrow there will be just over 1,000 days until the year [[2000]]. One thousand days to prepare our people. One thousand days to work together. One thousand days to build a bridge to a land of new promise. My fellow Americans, we have work to do. Let us seize those days and the century.
** [[Bill Clinton]], 1997 State of the Union Address  

==D==
* The speed of its collapse has exceeded all the other great landslides of [[Europe|European]] [[history]], [and] it happened through natural causes ... the rise, development and collapse of the [[Soviet Union]], ... [was] one of the most dramatic spectacles of the twentieth century.
** The book ''Europe—A History'', by [[w:Norman Davies|Norman Davies]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* [The Soviet Union was] a vast multinational empire already sinking into irreversible decline.
** ''Down With Big Brother'', a book by [[w:Michael Dobbs|Michael Dobbs]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

== F ==

* Third, we must develop our [[energy]] technology and resources so that the United States has the ability to supply a significant share of the energy needs of the free world by the end of this century. To attain these objectives, we need immediate action to cut imports. Unfortunately, in the short term there are only a limited number of actions which can increase domestic supply. I will press for all of them.
** [[Gerald Ford|Gerald R. Ford]], 1974 State of the Union Address 

==H==
* The peoples of [[w:Western Europe|Western Europe]] and [[North America]] seemed to have every reason to greet the twentieth century as the dawn of a new and happier age in the history of mankind.
** [[w:Michael Howard|Michael Howard]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==I==
* The [[World War I|First World War]] was a landmark in the history of [[w:East Asia|East Asia]] and of the [[United States]] in many ways.
**[[w:Akira Iriye|Akira Iriye]], a professor of history at [[Harvard University]]., as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* As centuries go, this has been one of the most amazing: [[Inspiration|inspiring]], at times [[Horror|horrifying]], always fascinating.
** [[Walter Isaacson]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==K==
* August 1, [[1914]]: No one suspected that the [[19th century]], which had presented Europeans with a long period of [[peace]], ended on that day; and no one noticed that the 20th century actually began only at that time—with a time of war lasting three decades and demonstrating what men can do to fellow humans.
** [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

* [[Cruelty]] and human brutality exceeded the worst expectations. In the [[w:Trench warfare|trenches]] . . . seeds were sown for an era in which humans were viewed as material, not as individuals.
** [[w:Guido Knopp|Guido Knopp]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

*The major political event of the twentieth century is the death of [[socialism]].
**[[Irving Kristol]], ''Neo-Conservatism: The Autobiography of an Idea'' (1995)

==L==
* For almost a quarter of a century the affairs of the [[world]] and its [[ideas]] have been in indescribable [[confusion]]. In most cases the confusion of ideas is manifest without the aid of [[polemic]] or [[controversy]]. It is simple [[evidence]] of the [[chaotic]] state of the world. The succession of events since [[1914]] has swept away so many [[illusions]] that even a summary inspection of the heap of [[ideological]] ruins would demand the compilation of a veritable [[w:Encyclopedia|encyclopaedia]].
** [[Lucien Laurat]], ''Marxism and Democracy'', 1940, published by the ''{{w|Left Book Club}}'', Victor Gollancz Ltd, London; translated by Edward Fitzgerald. [https://www.marxists.org/archive/laurat/1940/marxism-democracy/ Text online] at the ''{{w|Marxists Internet Archive}}''.

== M ==

* At the outgoing of the old and the incoming of the new century you begin the last session of the [[w:Fifty-sixth Congress|Fifty-sixth Congress]] with evidences on every hand of individual and national [[prosperity]] and with proof of the growing [[strength]] and increasing [[power]] for good of Republican institutions. Your countrymen will join with you in felicitation that American liberty is more firmly established than ever before, and that love for it and the [[determination]] to preserve it are more universal than at any former period of our history
** [[William McKinley]], 1900 State of the Union Address

== N ==

* If we are to have peace in the last third of the century, a major factor will be the development of a new relationship between the United States and the Soviet Union. I would not underestimate our differences, but we are moving with precision and purpose from an era of confrontation to an era of negotiation. Our [[w:SALT|negotiations on strategic arms limitations]] and in other areas will have far greater chance for success if both sides enter them motivated by mutual self-interest rather than naive sentimentality. It is with this same spirit that we have resumed discussions with [[China|Communist China]] in our talks at [[w:Warsaw|Warsaw]]. Our concern in our relations with both these nations is to avoid a catastrophic collision and to build a solid basis for peaceful settlement of our differences. I would be the last to suggest that the road to peace is not difficult and dangerous, but I believe our new policies have contributed to the prospect that America may have the best chance since [[World War II]] to enjoy a generation of uninterrupted peace. And that chance will be enormously increased if we continue to have a relationship between [[United States Congress|Congress]] and the [[President of the United States|Executive]] in which, despite differences in detail, where the security of America and the peace of mankind are concerned, we act not as [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]], not as [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrats]], but as Americans.
** [[Richard Nixon]], 1970 State of the Union Address 
*As we look back over this century, let us, in the highest spirit of bipartisanship, recognize that we can be proud of our Nation's record in [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign affairs]]. America has given more generously of itself toward maintaining freedom, preserving peace, alleviating human suffering around the globe, than any nation has ever done in the history of man. We have fought four wars in this century, but our power has never been used to break the peace, only to keep it; never been used to destroy freedom, only to defend it. We now have within our reach the goal of insuring that the next generation can be the first generation in this century to be spared the scourges of war. 
**Richard Nixon, 1972 State of the Union Address

==P==
* [[Revolution]] rather than [[reform]] was necessary ... but it took a major war, the First World War, and the consequent chaos, to precipitate the revolution proper.
** [[w:Geoffrey Ponton|Geoffrey Ponton]], as quoted in ''‘The Most Profound Changes’'', article of ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 1999, 12/8.

==R==
*To many of us now, [[computers]], [[w:silicon chip|silicon chips]], data processing, [[cybernetics]], and all the other innovations of the dawning [[Information age|high technology age]] are as mystifying as the workings of the [[w:internal combustion engine|combustion engine]] must have been when that first Model T rattled down Main Street, U.S.A. But as surely as America's pioneer spirit made us the industrial giant of the 20th century, the same pioneer spirit today is opening up on another vast front of opportunity, the frontier of high technology.
**[[Ronald Reagan]], 1982 State of the Union Address 
*Well, today physicists peering into the infinitely small realms of subatomic [[Particle|particles]] find reaffirmations of religious faith. [[Astronomy|Astronomers]] build a [[w:Space telescope|space telescope]] that can see to the edge of the [[universe]] and possibly back to the moment of [[creation]]. So, yes, this nation remains fully committed to [[NASA|America's space program]]. We're going forward with our [[w:space shuttle|shuttle]] flights. We're going forward to build our [[w:Space station|space station]]. And we are going forward with research on a new Orient Express that could, by the end of the next decade, take off from [[w:Dulles International Airport|Dulles Airport]], accelerate up to 25 times the [[w:Speed of sound|speed of sound]], attaining [[w:Low Earth orbit|low Earth orbit]] or flying to [[w:Tokyo|Tokyo]] within 2 hours. And the same technology transforming our lives can solve the greatest problem of the 20th century. A security shield can one day render [[nuclear weapons]] obsolete and free mankind from the prison of nuclear terror. America met one historic challenge and [[Apollo 11|went to the Moon]]. Now America must meet another: to make our strategic defense real for all the citizens of planet [[Earth]].
**Ronald Reagan, 1986 State of the Union Address 
*[T]he history of the 20th century was basically that of the swath of destruction left across the globe by socialist ideas, from the international socialism of the [[Bolsheviks]] and the Soviet Union to the [[Nazism|national socialism]] of [[Adolf Hitler]] and his [[w:National Socialist German Workers' Party|National Socialist German Workers' Party]].
**[[Glenn Reynolds]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20160212002639/http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/02/11/glenn-reynolds-socialism-bernie-sanders-young-millennial-voters-column/80169668/ &quot;Socialism not as hot as its spokesman&quot;] (11 February 2016), ''[[w:USA Today|USA Today]]''
* Any history of the twentieth century must begin in a world deeply unlike our own. At least in the most 'western', developed societies, we are less like the men and women of 1901, and further distanced in our thinking and behaviour from them than, say, were they from their forebears of a century earlier.
** [[w:John Roberts (historian)|J. M. Roberts]], ''The Penguin History Of The Twentieth Century'' (2000)
*The tremendous and highly complex industrial development which went on with ever accelerated rapidity during the latter half of the [[19th century|nineteenth century]] brings us face to face, at the beginning of the twentieth, with very serious social problems. The old [[Law|laws]], and the old [[customs]] which had almost the binding force of law, were once quite sufficient to regulate the accumulation and distribution of [[wealth]]. Since the [[Industrial Revolution|industrial changes]] which have so enormously increased the productive power of mankind, they are no longer sufficient.
**[[Theodore Roosevelt]], 1901 State of the Union Address  
*The Congress has wisely provided that we shall build at once an [[w:Panama Canal|isthmian canal]], if possible at [[Panama]]. The Attorney-General reports that we can undoubtedly acquire good title from the French Panama Canal Company. Negotiations are now pending with [[Colombia]] to secure her assent to our building the canal. This canal will be one of the greatest engineering feats of the twentieth century; a greater engineering feat than has yet been accomplished during the history of mankind. The work should be carried out as a continuing policy without regard to change of Administration; and it should be begun under circumstances which will make it a matter of pride for all Administrations to continue the policy.
**Theodore Roosevelt, 1907 State of the Union Address

==S==
* The line separating [[Goodness|good]] and [[evil]] passes not through [[State|states]], nor between [[Social class|classes]], nor between [[political parties]] either – but right through every human [[heart]]…even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small [[w:Bridgehead|bridgehead]] of good is retained. And even in the best of all hearts, there remains…an uprooted small corner of evil.&lt;p&gt;Thanks to [[ideology]] the twentieth century was fated to experience evildoing calculated on a scale in the millions.&lt;p&gt;Alas, all the evil of the twentieth century is possible everywhere on earth. Yet, I have not given up all hope that human beings and nations may be able, in spite of all, to learn from the experience of other people without having to go through it personally.
** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], ''[[The Gulag Archipelago]]'' (1973)

==T==
* Anyone desiring a quiet life has done badly to be born in the twentieth century.
** Attributed to [[Leon Trotsky]], quoted in [[Isaiah Berlin]]. &quot;Political Ideas in the Twentieth Century&quot;.
*In [[Asia]] and [[Africa]], the economic and social problems are different but no less urgent. There hundreds of millions of people are in ferment, exploding into the twentieth century, thrusting toward equality and independence and improvement in the hard conditions of their lives.
**[[Harry S. Truman]], 1953 State of the Union Address 

==External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
[[Category:20th century| ]]</text>
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        <id>4304</id>
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      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="36040" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Flag of Mexico.svg|thumb|Flag of Mexico]]
[[File:Himno Nacional Mexicano instrumental.ogg|thumb|Anthem of Mexico]]
[[File:Second Mexican Empire (orthographic projection).svg|thumb|location of the Second Mexican Empire]]
[[File:Seal of the Government of Mexico.svg|thumb|You boys like Mexico? ~ [[Super Troopers|MacIntyre Womack]]]]
[[File:Mexico Flag Map.svg|thumb|In Mexico they'll probably let you go, but they'll beat you up and steal everything you've got first. ~ [[w:Hector Vázquez|Hector Vázquez]]]]
[[File:MexCity-palacio.jpg|thumb|The next Augustan age will dawn on the other side of the Atlantic. There will, perhaps, be a Thucydides at Boston, a Xenophon at New York, and, in time, a Virgil at Mexico. ~ [[Horace Walpole]]]]
[[File:Catrinas 2.jpg|thumb|Deaths remain at very, very high levels in Mexico. They haven't really dropped. The only thing that has changed is that the press doesn't talk so much about the numbers. ~ [[w:Anabel Hernandez|Anabel Hernandez]]]]
[[File:Castillo de chapultepcec.jpeg|thumb|Mexico is not a functioning democracy. ~ John M. Ackerman]]
[[File:Mexico City Zocalo Cathedral.jpg|thumb|The border meant freedom, a new life, romance. And that's why I thought I should go. And start my life over on the seashores of old Mexico. ~ [[w:George Strait|George Strait]]]]
[[File:Fuerza del Estado Michoacán.jpg|thumb|The fate of Mexico... is eternal war. ~ [[William Tecumseh Sherman]]]]

[[File:CrowdedgravesDoloresDF.JPG|thumb|The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs. ~ [[Richard Nixon]]]]
[[File:Border USA Mexico.jpg|thumb|Poor Mexico, so far from [[God]] and so close to the [[United States]]! ~ [[Porfirio Díaz|José de la Cruz Porfirio Díaz Mori]]]]
'''[[w:Mexico|Mexico]]''' (Spanish: ''México''), also known as the '''United Mexican States''' ('''UMS'''; [[w:Spanish language|Castilian]]: ''Estados Unidos Mexicanos''), is a [[Countries|country]] located on the continent of [[North America]], to the south of the [[United States]]. It is the largest [[Spanish language|Castilian]]-speaking country in the world.
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==Quotes==
===A===
*Mexico is not a functioning [[democracy]]. The United States is working under the false premise that Mexico is a functioning democracy, one where federal authorities are doing their best to strengthen public institutions and uproot rampant [[organized crime]] and [[corruption]]. It is thought that crime and corruption stem principally from broken local institutions and social decay. But we need to turn this logic on its head. The real problem is at the top, not the bottom, of the Mexican political system. And the key obstacles reside within the Mexican federal government.
**John M. Ackerman, [https://web.archive.org/web/20160224085116/https://foreignpolicy.com/2016/02/23/obama-pena-nieto-mexico-corruption/ &quot;Mexico Is Not a Functioning Democracy&quot;] (23 February 2016), ''Foreign Policy''

*Whereas, by the act of the Republic of Mexico, a state of war exists between that Government and the United States...
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20060810061201/https://fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL31133.pdf An Act providing for the Prosecution of the existing War between the United States and the Republic of Mexico] (1846).

*[F]ractious country, where corruption, a fledgling rule of law and economic struggles have alienated many from political engagement.
**Azam Ahmed, [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/25/world/americas/trump-mexico-border-wall.html?ribbon-ad-idx=5&amp;rref=homepage &quot;As Trump Orders Wall, Mexico’s President Considers Canceling U.S. Trip&quot;] (25 January 2017), ''The New York Times''

*'''Don Collier''': Hey, you want to talk Mexican? Join another tank, a Mexican tank. 
**''[[Fury (2014 film)|Fury]]'' (2014), written by [[w:David Ayer|David Ayer]]

===B===
*I did not know that Mexico had abolished [[slavery]] and that this was a key reason for the war for [[Texas]] independence.
**[[w:Bruce Bartlett|Bruce Bartlett]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=vb3Mx7GqAmwC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=isbn:9780230600621&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAGoVChMIi92Er-SPxwIVhnQ-Ch3plQCk#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false ''Wrong on Race: The Democratic Party's Buried Past''] (2008), p. x

*[[Mexicans]], at the cry of [[war]]! Make ready the steel and the bridle, and may the [[Earth]] tremble at its centers at the resounding roar of the cannon.
**[[w:Francisco González Bocanegra|Francisco González Bocanegra]], ''[[w:Mexican National Anthem|Mexican National Anthem]]'' (1854)

*The history of Mexican-American relations has had its troubled moments, but today our peoples enrich each other in trade and culture and family ties... I've often said that family values don't stop at the [[w:Rio Grande|Rio Grande]].
** [[George W. Bush]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20010507184032/http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/05/20010505-1.html radio address] (5 May 2001)

===C===
*The routine that I have is simple. Guns, wine, women and estates, and fast cars. I woke up today in [[w:Guadalajara|Guadalajara]], another day in [[w:Culiacán|Culiacán]].
**[[w:Ariel Camacho|Ariel Camacho]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lha5igh1mxM &quot;Dos Jovenes Muchachos&quot;] (2013)

*We're all tying ourselves in knots about what [[Donald Trump]] said about Mexicans... Just as [[Dylann Roof]] doesn't represent [[white people]], Mexican rapists don't represent anyone other than themselves either... The great wave of [[immigration]] from Latin America is over... Birth rates are plunging throughout our hemisphere. Between 1970 and 2005, Mexico was the source for roughly two-thirds of the million or so immigrants who entered the United States yearly. When this huge migration began, Mexico’s birthrate was 6.72 children per woman. It has since fallen to 2.1, and it continues to decline... Since 2005 net migration from Mexico has been zero... We've been lucky that [[United States|our]] [[w:Mexico|neighbors to the south]] roughly share our religion and civilization, unlike the Muslim immigrants who've flooded [[Europe]].
**[[w:Mona Charen|Mona Charen]], [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/420974/donald-trump-immigration-controversy-helps-democrats &quot;The Trump Sideshow Plays Right into Democrats’ Hands&quot;] (10 July 2015), ''National Review''

*The site of several advanced [[Indigenous peoples|Amerindian]] civilizations - including the [[w:Olmec|Olmec]], [[w:Toltec|Toltec]], [[w:Teotihuacan|Teotihuacan]], [[w:Zapotec|Zapotec]], [[w:Maya|Maya]], and [[w:Aztec|Aztec]] - Mexico was conquered and colonized by Spain in the early 16th century. Administered as the [[w:Viceroyalty of New Spain|Viceroyalty of New Spain]] for three centuries, it achieved independence early in the 19th century. Elections held in 2000 marked the first time since the 1910 [[w:Mexican Revolution|Mexican Revolution]] that an opposition candidate - [[w:Vicente Fox|Vicente FOX]] of the [[w:National Action Party|National Action Party]] (PAN) - defeated the party in government, the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI). He was succeeded in 2006 by another PAN candidate [[w:Felipe Calderon|Felipe CALDERON]], but [[Enrique Peña Nieto|Enrique PENA NIETO]] regained the presidency for the PRI in 2012. The [[Financial crisis of 2007–08|global financial crisis in late 2008]] caused a massive [[Recession|economic downturn]] in Mexico the following year, although growth returned quickly in 2010. Ongoing economic and social concerns include low real wages, high underemployment, [[Economic inequality|inequitable income distribution]], and few advancement opportunities for the largely indigenous population in the impoverished southern states. Since 2007, Mexico's powerful drug-trafficking organizations have engaged in bloody feuding, resulting in tens of thousands of drug-related homicides.
**[https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/mx.html ''2017 CIA World Factbook'']

*The Mexican nation is an indivisible one.
**[http://www.juridicas.unam.mx/infjur/leg/constmex/pdf/consting.pdf ''Constitution of the United Mexican States''] (1917), Article II

===D===
*Poor Mexico, so far from [[God]] and so close to the [[United States]]!
**[[Porfirio Díaz|José de la Cruz Porfirio Díaz Mori]], as quoted in [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/0312340044 ''The Quote Verifier: Who Said What, Where, and When''] (2006), by Ralph Keyes, New York City: St. Martin's Griffin, p. 387

*Charge of inferiority is an old dodge. It has been made available for oppression on many occasions. It is only about six centuries since the blue-eyed and fair-haired [[Anglo-Saxons|Anglo Saxons]] were considered inferior by the haughty Normans, who once trampled upon them. If you read the history of the [[w:Norman Conquest|Norman Conquest]], you will find that this proud Anglo-Saxon was once looked upon as of coarser clay than his Norman master, and might be found in the highways and byways of Old [[England]] laboring with a brass collar on his neck, and the name of his master marked upon it were down then! You are up now. I am glad you are up, and I want you to be glad to help us up also... The story of our inferiority is an old dodge, as I have said; for wherever men oppress their fellows, wherever they enslave them, they will endeavor to find the needed apology for such enslavement and oppression in the character of the people oppressed and enslaved. When we wanted, a few years ago, a slice of Mexico, it was hinted that the Mexicans were an inferior race, that the old Castilian blood had become so weak that it would scarcely run down hill, and that Mexico needed the long, strong and beneficent arm of the Anglo-Saxon care extended over it. We said that it was necessary to its salvation, and a part of the “manifest destiny” of this Republic, to extend our arm over that dilapidated government. 
**[[Frederick Douglass]], [http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/what-the-black-man-wants/ &quot;What the Black Man Wants&quot;], speech in Boston, Massachusetts (1865).
===E===
*Hitmen working for murderous drug gangs are turning Mexico, a top U.S. oil supplier and trade partner and a prominent emerging market economy that has scored points for political stability, into a conflict zone that is alarming [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], [[Tourism|tourists]] and foreign investors.
**Robin Emmott and Julian Cardona, [http://www.borderlandbeat.com/2010/06/i-killed-cut-off-heads-says-repentant.html &quot;'I Killed, Cut off Heads' Says Repentant Mexico Hitman&quot;] (24 June 2010), ''Reuters''

*Mexico has scored dozens of drug-war “wins” over the past several years, with cartel kingpins apprehended anywhere from secret tunnels to bustling restaurants, and paraded in front of news cameras as a sign of progress.
**Whitney Eulich, [http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Americas/2015/0506/Does-cutting-off-the-heads-of-Mexico-s-cartels-really-work &quot;Does 'cutting off the heads' of Mexico's cartels really work?&quot;] (6 May 2015), ''The Christian Science Monitor''
===F===
* Mexico will emerge as a major global economic power. Ranked fourteenth or fifteenth early in the [[21st century|century]], it will be firmly within the top ten by 2080. With a population of 100 million, it will be a power to be reckoned with anywhere in the world—except on the southern border of the United States.
**[[George Friedman]], [https://www.amazon.com/Next-100-Years-Forecast-Century/dp/038551705X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1498628991&amp;sr=1-1 ''The Next 100 Years: A Forecast for the 21st Century''] (2009), p. 239, Doubleday

===G===
*For decades, Mexico has been the top source of newly arrived [[Immigration to the United States|immigrants to the U.S]]., but with a recent decline in the flow of new immigrants to the U.S. from Mexico, and an increase in the number of new immigrant arrivals from [[China]] and [[India]], Mexico may no longer be the top source of U.S. immigrants. The [[w:U.S. Census Bureau|U.S. Census Bureau]] recently reported that China overtook Mexico in 2013 as the leading country for new immigrants.
**Ana Gonzalez-Barrera, [http://www.pewhispanic.org/2015/11/19/more-mexicans-leaving-than-coming-to-the-u-s/ &quot;More Mexicans Leaving Than Coming to the U.S.&quot;] (19 November 2015), ''Pew Research Center''

*Mexico's most lucrative natural resource are the people who leave home. Remittances help drive Mexico's economy, from paying for new home construction to schools, especially in [[Poverty|low-income]] areas.
**Patrick Gillespie, [http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/25/news/economy/mexico-remittances-trump/index.html &quot;Trump threatens Mexico's biggest cash source&quot;] (25 January 2017), ''CNN Money''

*The [[Mexicans]] are a good people. They live on little and work hard. They suffer from the influence of the [[Catholic Church|Church]], which, while I was in Mexico at least, was as bad as could be. The Mexicans were good soldiers, but badly commanded. The country is rich, and if the people could be assured a good government, they would prosper. See what we have made of Texas and [[California]] — empires. There are the same materials for new empires in Mexico. I have always had a deep interest in Mexico and her people, and have always wished them well. I suppose the fact that I served there as a young man, and the impressions the country made upon my young mind, have a good deal to do with this.
**[[Ulysses S. Grant]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/aroundworldgrant02younuoft/page/n4 ''Around the world with General Grant: a narrative of the visit of General U. S. Grant, ex-President of the United States, to various countries in Europe, Asia, and Africa, in 1877, 1878, 1879 : to which are added certain conversations with General Grant on questions connected with American politics and history''] (1879), by John Russell Young, p. 448

*When I was in [[London]], talking with [[Benjamin Disraeli|Lord Beaconsfield]], he spoke of Mexico. He said he wished to heaven we had taken the country, that England would not like anything better than to see the United States annex it. I suppose that will be the future of the country. Now that slavery is out of the way there could be no better future for Mexico than absorption in the United States. But it would have to come, as [[w:San Domingo|San Domingo]] tried to come, by the free will of the people. I would not fire a gun to annex territory. I consider it too great a privilege to belong to the United States for us to go around gunning for new territories. Then the question of annexation means the question of suffrage, and that becomes more and more serious every day with us. That is one of the grave problems of our future. 
**[[Ulysses S. Grant]], as quoted in [https://archive.org/details/aroundworldgrant02younuoft/page/n4 ''Around the world with General Grant: a narrative of the visit of General U. S. Grant, ex-President of the United States, to various countries in Europe, Asia, and Africa, in 1877, 1878, 1879 : to which are added certain conversations with General Grant on questions connected with American politics and history''] (1879), by John Russell Young, pp. 448–449

*I was bitterly opposed to the measure, and to this day, regard [[Mexican&amp;ndash;American War|the war, which resulted]], as one of the most unjust ever waged by [[United States|a stronger]] against [[w:Mexico|a weaker nation]].  It was an instance of a republic following the bad example of [[Europe|European]] [[Monarchy|monarchies]], in not considering justice in their desire to acquire additional territory.
**[[Ulysses S. Grant]], regarding the [[Mexican&amp;ndash;American War]] (1883), as quoted in ''Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant'' (1885), p. 16

*The [[American Civil War|Southern rebellion]] was largely the outgrowth of the [[Mexican&amp;ndash;American War|Mexican war]]. Nations, like individuals, are punished for their transgressions. [[United States|We]] got [[United States|our]] [[American Civil War|punishment in the most sanguinary and expensive war]] of modern times.
**[[Ulysses S. Grant]], regarding the [[Mexican&amp;ndash;American War]], as quoted in ''Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant'' (1885), Chapter 3

*The biggest mass beheading in recent history caused widespread revulsion in Mexico but little surprise. Decapitations have become as commonplace in the increasingly vicious narco turf battles as stabbings are in London.
**Ioan Grillo, [http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1839576,00.html &quot;Behind Mexico's Wave of Beheadings&quot;] (8 September 2008), ''Time''

===H===
*I'm going way down south; way down to Mexico way. Alright, I'm going way down south. Way down, where I can be free.
**[[w:Jimi Hendrix|James Marshall Hendrix]], [https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tcvhthto5zjhid745gexv2xg7fm?lyrics=1 &quot;Hey Joe&quot;] (1967)

*Deaths remain at very, very high levels in Mexico. They haven't really dropped. The only thing that has changed is that the press doesn't talk so much about the numbers. But the cartel violence is still there.
**[[w:Anabel Hernandez|Anabel Hernandez]], as quoted in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/30/mexico-drug-war_n_7476278.html &quot;Leading Mexican Journalist Explains Why Everything You're Hearing About The Drug War Is Wrong&quot;] (30 May 2015), by Roque Planas, ''The Huffington Post''

===J===

*They got frustrated that they were losing to the U.S. in the World Cup. As far as I'm concerned, you can headbutt, kick me, hit me, and I was going to get up and go forward. The last game of my career against Mexico was in the [[w:FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], and I stepped off as a winner.
**[[w:Cobi Jones|Cobi Jones]], as quoted in [http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/worldcup/news/story?id=5312920 &quot;Flood of memories for Jones&quot;] (22 June 2010), ''ESPN''.
===K===
*[[South Korea]] spends the equivalent of 1.7 percent of its GDP on caring for the old, just one step above the stingiest [[w:OECD|OECD]] member; Mexico.
**Se-woong Koo, [http://www.koreaexpose.com/voices/no-country-for-old-people/ &quot;No Country For Old People&quot;] (24 September 2014), ''Korea Exposé''.
*In 1910 Mexico had been a labyrinth of political chaos and social injustice. Centuries of inept [[Colonialism|colonial]] rule followed by corrupt [[Dictatorship|dictatorships]] and foreign occupations then culminated in thirty years of one-man rule. After years of chaos, the dictator [[Porfirio Díaz]] offered stability. But in 1910 he was eighty years old and had arranged for no successor or any institutions to outlast him. There were no [[political parties]], and he represented no ideology. Mexico was divided by different [[Culture|cultures]], [[Ethnicity|ethnic groups]], and [[Social class|social classes]], all with dramatically different needs and demands. When the country erupted into what was called the [[w:Mexican revolution|Mexican revolution]] that year, it was an endless series of highly destructive civil wars, most of them fought on a regional basis. There were many leaders and many armies. But this was the Mexico [[w:Hernan Cortes|Hernan Cortes]] had found in the early sixteenth century. The Aztecs had ruled by managing a coalition of leaders from different groups. Cortes had defeated the Aztecs by dividing this coalition, gaining the loyalty of some of the leaders. That was how politics was played in Mexico. 
**[[Mark Kurlansky]], ''1968: The Year that Rocked the World'' (2004), ISBN 0-345-45581-9
*Some can be bought off, and some have to be shot. That became the Mexican way. &quot;No general can withstand a cannonade of a hundred thousand [[w:Mexican peso|pesos]],&quot; Obregon once said. By 1924 a fourth of the national budget went to paying off generals. But many other &quot;generals,&quot; local chieftains with their bands of armed followers, were shot. Starting with the [[w:constitution of Mexico|1917 constitution]], a system of government was established who primary goal was not democracy but stability. In 1928 Mexico almost slid back into [[revolution]]. [[w:Alvaro Obregon|Obregon]] ran for [[president]] without an opponent and was elected. He might have been on his way to dictatorship were it not for the artist who, while sketching him as president, took out a pistol and shot him to death. The assassin was immediately killed. It seemed the changing of presidents was forever threatening the national stability. The Mexican solution was the PNR—the National Revolutionary Party—formed in 1929. Through this institution, a qualified president could be chosen and presented to the public. For six years the president would have almost absolute power. There were only three things he could not do—give territory to a foreign power, confiscate land from [[Indigenous peoples|indigenous people]], and succeed himself as president. During [[World War II]], in an attempt to appear more stable and democratic, the PNR changed its name to that uniquely Mexican paradox, the Institutional Revolutionary Party. This is what Mexico had become, not a democracy but an institutional revolution—the Revolution that feared revolution. The PRI bought out or killed agrarian leaders, all the while paying verbal homage to [[Emiliano Zapata|Zapata]] and carrying out as little land reform as possible. It bought out the [[Trade unions|labor unions]] until they became part of the PRI. It bought out the [[press]], one [[Newspapers|newspaper]] at a time, until it completely controlled them. The PRI was not violent. It tried to co-opt. Only in those rare situations where that did not it work would it resort to killing. 
**[[Mark Kurlansky]], ''1968: The Year that Rocked the World'' (2004), ISBN 0-345-45581-9
===L===
*Mexico continues to be a theater of civil war. While our political relations with that country have undergone no change, we have at the same time strictly maintained [[neutrality]] between the belligerents.
**[[Abraham Lincoln]], [http://millercenter.org/president/lincoln/speeches/speech-3739 fourth annual message to Congress] (6 December 1864)
===M===
*We are dependent on the Mexicans trusting us.
**Patricia Mulroy, as quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/20/us/politics/donald-trump-immigration.html?smid=tw-share&amp;_r=0 &quot;What Would It Take for Donald Trump to Deport 11 Million and Build a Wall?&quot;] (19 May 2016), ''The New York Times'', New York: The New York Times Company

===N===
*You know how Mexicans are: If they go high, we go underneath, with tunnels.
**Ariel Najum, as quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/25/world/americas/trump-mexico-border-wall.html?ribbon-ad-idx=5&amp;rref=homepage &quot;As Trump Orders Wall, Mexico’s President Considers Canceling U.S. Trip&quot;] (25 January 2017), by Azam Ahmed, ''The New York Times''

*When Trump came for the Mexicans, I did not speak out, as I was not a Mexican. When he came for the [[Muslim|Muslims]], I did not speak out, as I was not a Muslim. Then he came for me.
**[http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/front-page-reactions-to-trumps-anti-muslim-stance/ ''New York Daily News''] (9 December 2015).

*The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. '''They have a heritage'''. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs.
**[[Richard Nixon|Richard M. Nixon]], tapes from 1971, as presented in &quot;All the Philosopher King's Men&quot; by James Warren in ''Harper's Magazine'' (February 2000).
===P===
* [[w:Mexico|Mexico]] is a country that has a lot of energy potential. We not only have oil; we also have shale gas. But we cannot expect that a Mexican state company is the only one that can exploit the resources. Resources will continue belonging to Mexicans. They are the patrimony of the nation. But the Mexican state must find more efficient ways to exploit those resources.
**[[Enrique Peña Nieto]], as quoted in [http://archive.is/2C9aP ''Foreign Affairs'' interview] (January 2014)

*We are a sovereign nation, and we will act as such. The exercise of [[sovereignty]] implies that, in the process of negotiation, our only interest is that of Mexico and those of Mexicans.
**[[Enrique Peña Nieto]], as quoted in [http://archive.is/PYJeS#selection-2131.1-2131.206 &quot;Preparing to Meet Trump, Mexican Leader Seeks Common Ground&quot;] (23 January 2017), by Azam Ahmed, ''The New York Times''

===S===
*You cannot qualify [[war]] in harsher terms than I will. [[War]] is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and [[Confederate States of America|those who brought war into]] [[United States|our country]] deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out. I know I had no hand in making [[American Civil War|this war]], and I know I will make more sacrifices today than any of you to secure peace. But you cannot have peace and a division of [[United States|our country]]. '''If the [[United States]] submits to a division now, it will not stop, but will go on until we reap the fate of Mexico, which is eternal war'''.
**[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], [[s:Letter to James M. Calhoun, et al., September 12, 1864|letter to the City of Atlanta]] (12 September 1864).

*Mexico fans are trashy. Lasers, throwing garbage, ''puto'' calls.
**[[w:John Sherry|John Sherry]], [https://www.facebook.com/officialussoccer/photos/a.10150669668448941.405417.32421823940/10153479344278941/?type=3&amp;comment_id=10153479345868941&amp;offset=0&amp;total_comments=804&amp;comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R%22%7D Facebook] (October 2015).

:'''Antonio Espera''': I don't hang out with Mexicans. Mexicans got twenty thousand dollar stereos, lots of guns and every time I go into a liquor store with one, I'm afraid we're going to rob the place. Mexicans are scary motherfuckers.
:*&quot;Combat Jack&quot; (3 August 2008), written by David Simon and Ed Burns, ''[[Generation Kill]]'' (2008), Home Box Office.

*I live in the Mexican part of L.A.; it's called L.A.
**[[w:Bobby Slayton|Bobby Slayton]], [http://www.shayne-michael.com/links.php?searchFor=Bobby%20Slayton&amp;findBio=full&amp;showQuotes=Yes]

*I left, out of Tucson, with no destination in mind. I was running from trouble and the jail-term the Judge had in mind. And the border meant freedom, a new life, romance. And that's why I thought I should go. And start my life over on the seashores of old Mexico.
**[[w:George Strait|George Strait]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/georgestrait/theseashoresofoldmexico.html &quot;The Seashores Of Old Mexico&quot;] (28 June 2005), ''Somewhere Down in Texas'' (2005).

===T===
*Mexico's most powerful drug trafficker, [[w:Joaquin 'El Chapo' Guzman|Joaquin 'El Chapo' Guzman]], had escaped again from one of that country’s maximum-security prisons. No one in this deeply sourced group was surprised. Nor were they particularly interested in the logistical details of the escape, although they clearly didn’t believe the version they’d heard from the Mexican government. They were convinced it was all a deal cut at some link in the system’s chain. Our breakfast minister even thought that Chapo had likely walked out the front door of the jail, and that the whole tunnel-and-motorcycle story had been staged to make the feat sound so ingenious that the government couldn’t have foreseen it, much less stopped it. Such an outlandish notion may not be surprising to anyone who knows anything about Mexico. But as someone who lived there for 10 years, and reported on the country almost twice that long, what surprised me were the men’s theories on why anyone in the Mexican government would have been interested in such a deal. Perhaps, I wondered aloud, Chapo had possessed information that could have incriminated senior Mexican officials in the drug trade and, rather than try him, they had agreed to turn a blind eye to his escape? The heads around the table shook back and forth. 
**[[w:Ginger Thompson|Ginger Thompson]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/07/chapo-mexico-drug-war/398927/ &quot;There's No Real Fight Against Drugs: Discussing El Chapo’s escape with an ex-cartel operative, a Mexican intelligence official, and an American counternarcotics agent&quot;] (20 July 2015), ''The Atlantic''.

*[[w:Sinaloa Cartel|Sinaloa]] became the [[McDonald's]] of the drug trade. Customers could find its products, [[cocaine]], [[heroin]], and [[w:Methamphetamine|methamphetamines]], everywhere. Operations ran so smoothly that after Chapo's arrest in February 2014, many experts predicted that they’d continue to hum along without him. However, hopes ran high in the United States and Mexico that Chapo's arrest would herald a new era of trust between the two governments. The arrest was seen as a sign that Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto was serious about ending a long history of government corruption, and that Washington, after some skepticism, could trust him. Chapo's latest spectacular escape seems to have put an end to any such illusions. &quot;'''I think the relationship has been set back ten years'''&quot;, the American agent observed. He said he had received calls from colleagues across the United States who seemed disgusted with Mexican officials. &quot;'''If we can't trust them to keep Chapo in jail'''&quot;, he wondered, &quot;'''then how can we trust them on anything?'''&quot;
**[[w:Ginger Thompson|Ginger Thompson]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/07/chapo-mexico-drug-war/398927/ &quot;There's No Real Fight Against Drugs: Discussing El Chapo’s escape with an ex-cartel operative, a Mexican intelligence official, and an American counternarcotics agent&quot;] (20 July 2015), ''The Atlantic''.

* '''When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.''' But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we're getting. And it only makes common sense. It only makes common sense. They're sending us not the right people. It's coming from more than Mexico. It's coming from all over South and Latin America, and it's coming.
** [[Donald Trump]], at Trump Tower (16 June 2015), speech announcing his candidacy for U.S. president. As quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2015/06/16/full-text-donald-trump-announces-a-presidential-bid/ &quot;Full text: Donald Trump announces a presidential bid&quot;] (16 June 2015), ''The Washington Post'', Washington, D.C.

*I'm not knocking immigration or immigrants, but rather am very critical of the country of Mexico for sending us people that they don't want. 
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/posts/10155829886030725 ''Facebook'' post] (14 July 2015).

*Mexico is going to be the new China because what they're doing to us is unbelievable, although they did catch El Chapo. Good? Good? They did catch El Chapo, that's good. I mean I don't know, he better not escape a third time, you know? Those tunnels, bing, boom, right under the toilet, bing boom, right up. It's pretty amazing when you think about it, right? But anyway. I have an idea: Put him on the fourth floor this time, right? No more, no more first floors.
**[[Donald Trump]], [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/el-chapo-on-donald-trump-mi-amigo/ speech] (9 January 2016).

* Donald was to [[w:Fred Trump|my grandfather]] what the border wall as been for Donald: a vanity project funded at the expense of more worthy pursuits.
** [[Mary L. Trump]], ''Too Much And Never Enough: How My Family Created The World's Most Dangerous Man'' (2020), p. 194

===V===
*[[United States|There]], they'll [[w:Deportation|deport]] you. '''In Mexico they'll probably let you go, but they'll beat you up and steal everything''' you've got first.
**[[w:Hector Vázquez|Hector Vázquez]], as quoted in [http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-05-25-mexico-migrants_N.htm?csp=34news &quot;Activists blast Mexico’s immigration law&quot;] (25 May 2010), ''USA Today''.
===W===
*The next Augustan age will dawn on the other side of the Atlantic. There will, perhaps, be a [[Thucydides]] at [[Boston]], a [[Xenophon]] at [[New York]], and, in time, a [[Virgil]] at [[w:Mexico|Mexico]], and a [[Isaac Newton|Newton]] at [[Peru]].
**[[Horace Walpole]], letter to Sir Horace Mann (24 November 1774).

*There is something that Mexican soccer should be ashamed and embarrassed about. No, it's not its national team performances. El Tri is back on track to reach the World Cup and Mexico's runner-up finish at this month’s U-17 World Cup comes two years after the Mexicans lifted that title. This is about Mexican fans and their goal-kick chant. You heard it every few minutes if you watched the [[w:ESPN|ESPN]] broadcast of Mexico’s 5-1 win over [[New Zealand]]. If you were watching [[w:Univision|Univision]], you didn’t, because the Spanish-language network hit the mute button whenever Kiwi keeper Glenn Moss booted a goal kick. The keeper lines up and when he kicks the ball, the fans scream &quot;Puto!&quot; The word has various connotations, but if you imagine a stadium full of fans screaming “faggot” you have an idea of what’s going on here. Teams around the world are being punished with fines or stadium closures for racist chants. There have even been fines for booing national anthems. But the rulers of the game -- i.e. FIFA, Concacaf, Femexfut -- seem to have no problem with this [[Homophobia|homophobic]] Mexican fan tradition. Even better than a governing body intervening would be that if Mexican players and coaches spoke out -- made a plea to their fans that this needs to stop. Or they can remain silent as Mexican soccer continues to shame itself.
**[[w:Mike Woitalla|Mike Woitalla]], [http://www.socceramerica.com/article/54881/mexicos-shame.html &quot;Mexico's Shame&quot;] (14 November 2013), ''Confidential: A Soccer Insider's View'', Soccer America.

*'''[[Super Troopers|MacIntyre Womack]]''': You boys like Mexico?
**[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247745/ ''Super Troopers''] (19 January 2001), written by Jay Chandrasekhar

*[[W:Andrés Manuel López Obrador|Andrés Manuel López Obrador]], I consider him to be a profoundly human man, with values that are in line with great moral principles, for the region and for Mexico and for Central America. He has had a very clear position vis-à-vis the United States. I believe that Mr. Trump’s pressures against Mexico are serious. When they threaten to impose tariffs on Mexican merchandise, well, that produces more migrants, more migration and more poverty in our region. So, the policies of Mr. Andrés Manuel López Obrador are practically being punished by the United States.  In focusing on migration, they’re going to look for some solution to the system that is provoking the migrants, because everyone talks about migration, but the causes of migration are the U.S. policies, the IMF policies, the policies of the Southern Command for this region, are provoking more and more migrants with each passing day.
**[[Manuel Zelaya]],  [https://www.democracynow.org/2019/7/12/manuel_zelaya_honduras_coup_immigration_crisis Ousted Honduran President Zelaya: The 2009 U.S.-Backed Coup Helped Cause Today’s Migrant Crisis, ''Democracy Now!''] July 12, 2019

== See also ==
* [[Latin America]]
* [[Second Mexican Empire]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
*{{wikivoyage-inline}}
* [https://www.cia.gov/the-world-factbook/countries/mexico/ Mexico]. ''The World Factbook''. [[Central Intelligence Agency]].
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20080607085229/http://ucblibraries.colorado.edu/govpubs/for/mexico.htm Mexico] from UCB Libraries GovPubs
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/country_profiles/1205074.stm Mexico] from the BBC News
* [http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/379167/Mexico Mexico] at ''Encyclopædia Britannica''
* [http://www.ifs.du.edu/ifs/frm_CountryProfile.aspx?Country=MX Key Development Forecasts for Mexico] from International Futures

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      <text bytes="81853" xml:space="preserve">Quotes exploring the '''[[political]] views of [[Albert Einstein]]'''.
&lt;!-- Please keep chronology of quotes --&gt;
==1900s==
*''Autoritätsdusel ist der größte Feind der Wahrheit.''
**Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
**Letter to Jost Winteler (1901), quoted in ''The Private Lives of Albert Einstein'' by Roger Highfield and Paul Carter (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=zY7FE9ZyDO0C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA79#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 79]. Einstein had been annoyed that Paul Drude, editor of ''Annalen der Physik'', had dismissed out of hand some criticisms Einstein made of Drude's electron theory of metals.

==1910s==
*''Man begreift schwer beim Erleben dieser &quot;großen Zeit&quot;, daß man dieser verrückten, verkommenen Spezies angehört, die sich Willensfreiheit zuschreibt. Wenn es doch irgendwo eine Insel der Wohlwollenden und Besonnenen gäbe! Da wollte ich auch glühender Patriot sein.''
**In living through this &quot;great epoch,&quot; it is difficult to reconcile oneself to the fact that one belongs to that mad, degenerate species that boasts of its free will. How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will! In such a place even I should be an ardent patriot!
**Letter to [[w:Paul Ehrenfest|Paul Ehrenfest]], early December 1914. ''Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'', Vol 8, Doc. 39. Quoted in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 3.

*''Ich bin der Abstammung nach ein Jude, der Staatszugehörigkeit nach ein Schweizer und der Gesinnung nach ein Mensch und '''nur''' ein Mensch, ohne besondere Neigung für irgend ein staatliches oder nationales Gebilde.''
**I am by heritage a Jew, by citizenship a Swiss, and by makeup a human being, and '''only''' a human being, without any special attachment to any state or national entity whatsoever.
**Letter to [[w:Adolf Kneser|Adolf Kneser]] (7 June 1918); Doc. 560 in ''The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein'' Vol. 8.

==1920s==
===Viereck interview (1929)===
:&lt;small&gt;&quot;What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck&quot; ''The Saturday Evening Post'' (26 October 1929), p. 17. A scan of the article is available online [http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/what_life_means_to_einstein.pdf here].&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 102-00487A, Albert Einstein.jpg|thumb|I look upon myself as a man. [[Nationalism]] is an infantile [[disease]]. It is the measles of [[mankind]].]]

* In America, more than anywhere else, the individual is lost in the achievements of the many. America is beginning to be the world leader in scientific investigation. American scholarship is both patient and inspiring. The Americans show an unselfish devotion to science, which is the very opposite of the conventional European view of your countrymen. '''Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.''' It is not true that the dollar is an American fetish. The American student is not interested in dollars, not even in success as such, but in his task, the object of the search. It is his painstaking application to the study of the infinitely little and the infinitely large which accounts for his success in astronomy.

* We are inclined to overemphasize the material influences in history. The Russians especially make this mistake. Intellectual values and ethnic influences, tradition and emotional factors are equally important. If this were not the case, Europe would today be a federated state, not a madhouse of nationalism.

* Bolshevism is an extraordinary experiment. It is not impossible that the drift of social evolution henceforward may be in the direction of communism. The Bolshevist experiment may be worth trying. But I think that Russia errs badly in the execution of her ideal. The Russians make the mistake of putting party faith above efficiency. They replace efficient men by politicians. Their test stone of public service is not the accomplishment but devotion to a rigid creed.

* It is quite possible to be both. I look upon myself as a man. '''Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.'''
** When asked by Viereck if he considered himself to be a German or a Jew. A version with slightly different wording is quoted in [http://books.google.com/books?id=dJMpQagbz_gC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA386#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Einstein: His Life and Universe] by Walter Isaacson (2007), p. 386

* We Jews have been too adaptable. We have been too eager to sacrifice our idiosyncrasies for the sake of social conformity. … Even in modern civilization, the Jew is most happy if he remains a Jew.

* I do not believe in race as such. Race is a fraud. All modern people are the conglomeration of so many ethnic mixtures that no pure race remains.

* But to return to the Jewish question. Other groups and nations cultivate their individual traditions. There is no reason why we should sacrifice ours. '''Standardization robs life of its spice.''' To deprive every ethnic group of its special traditions is to convert the world into a huge Ford plant. '''I believe in standardizing automobiles. I do not believe in standardizing human beings.''' Standardization is a great peril which threatens American culture.

==1930s==
[[File:Rabindranath with Einstein.jpg|thumb| To [[punish]] me for my [[contempt]] of [[authority]], [[Fate]] has made me an authority myself.]]
[[File:Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin - 1931.jpg|thumb|[[Peace]] cannot be kept by [[force]]. It can only be achieved by [[understanding]].]]
* '''To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself.'''
** Aphorism for a friend (18 September 1930) [Einstein Archive 36-598]; as quoted in ''Albert Einstein: Creator and Rebel'' (1988) by Banesh Hoffman.

* '''Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.''' You cannot subjugate a nation forcibly unless you wipe out every man, woman, and child. Unless you wish to use such drastic measures, you must find a way of settling your disputes without resort to arms.
** From a speech to the New History Society (14 December 1930), reprinted in &quot;Militant Pacifism&quot; in [http://books.google.com/books?id=cvlOAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22peace+cannot+be+kept+by+force%22#search_anchor ''Cosmic Religion''] (1931); also found in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice, p. 158.

* Besides agreeing with the aims of [[vegetarianism]] for aesthetic and moral reasons, it is my view that a vegetarian manner of living by its purely physical effect on the human temperament would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind.
** From a letter to Hermann Huth, Vice-President of the German Vegetarian Federation, 27 December 1930. Supposedly published in German magazine ''Vegetarische Warte'', which existed from 1882 to 1935. Einstein Archive 46-756. Quoted in ''The Ultimate Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2011), [//books.google.it/books?id=G_iziBAPXtEC&amp;pg=PA453 p. 453]. &lt;small&gt;{{ISBN|978-0-691-13817-6}}&lt;/small&gt;.

* I am not only a [[:Wiktionary:pacifist|pacifist]] but a [[:Wiktionary:militant|militant]] pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.
** Interview with {{w|George Sylvester Viereck}} (January 1931).&lt;!-- in Nathan and Norden, 125 — this seems to be an incomplete book citation by author --&gt;

* '''Why does this magnificent applied science which saves work and makes life easier bring us so little happiness? The simple answer runs: Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it.''' In war it serves that we may poison and mutilate each other. In peace it has made our lives hurried and uncertain. Instead of freeing us in great measure from spiritually exhausting labor, it has made men into slaves of machinery, who for the most part complete their monotonous long day's work with disgust and must continually tremble for their poor rations. … It is not enough that you should understand about applied science in order that your work may increase man's blessings. Concern for the man himself and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavours; concern for the great unsolved problems of the organization of labor and the distribution of goods in order that the creations of our mind shall be a blessing and not a curse to mankind. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.
** Speech to students at the California Institute of Technology, in [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50A1FFF3F5E1B7A93C5A81789D85F458385F9&amp;scp=4&amp;sq=&amp;st=p &quot;Einstein Sees Lack in Applying Science&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (16 February 1931).

* Today, in twelve countries, young men are resisting conscription and refusing military service. '''They are the pioneers of a warless world.'''
** Letter to the international conference of war resisters in Lyons, France. Quoted in ''The Christian century, Volume 48'' (1931), [http://books.google.com/books?id=jJg5AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22warless+world%22#search_anchor p. 1085] (the context is mentioned [http://books.google.com/books?id=jJg5AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22conference+of+war+resisters%22#search_anchor here]), and later in [http://books.google.com/books?id=Tr9ZAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22pioneers+of+a+warless+world%22#search_anchor ''Einstein on Peace'' (1968), p. 142].

* &quot;Nobody can deny that to-day this foundation of a worthy existence is in considerable danger. Forces are at work which are attempting to destroy the European inheritance of freedom, tolerance, and human dignity. The danger is characterised as Hitlerism, Militarism, and Communism which, while indicating different conditions, all lead to the subjugation and enslavement of the individual by the State, and bring tolerance and personal liberty to an end … If we want to resist the powers which threaten to suppress intellectual and individual freedom, we must keep clearly before us what is at stake. Without such freedom there would have been no Shakespeare, no Goethe, no Faraday, no Pasteur, no Lister. There would be no comfortable houses for the people, no railways, no wireless, no protection against epidemics, no cheap books, no culture, no enjoyment of art for all. Only men who are free can create the works which make life worth living.&quot;
** ''[http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~noam/the-value-of-the-free-man.txt The Value of the Free Man]'', A lecture delivered before &quot;The Friends of Europe&quot; (London); transcribed in ''World Digest'' ( April 1934).

* '''All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.''' It is no mere chance that our older universities developed from clerical schools. Both churches and universities — insofar as they live up to their true function — serve the ennoblement of the individual. They seek to fulfill this great task by spreading moral and cultural understanding, renouncing the use of brute force. &lt;br&gt; The essential unity of ecclesiastical and secular institutions was lost during the 19th century, to the point of senseless hostility. Yet there was never any doubt as to the striving for culture. No one doubted the sacredness of the goal. It was the approach that was disputed.
** &quot;Moral Decay&quot; (1937); Later published in ''Out of My Later Years'' (1950).

* By the way, there are increasing signs that the Russian trials are not faked, but that there is a plot among those who look upon Stalin as a stupid reactionary who has betrayed the ideas of the revolution. Though we find it difficult to imagine this kind of internal thing, those who know Russia best are all more or less of the same opinion. I was firmly convinced to begin with that it was a case of a dictator's despotic acts, based on lies and deception, but this was a delusion.
** Letter to [[w:Max Born|Max Born]] (no date, 1937 or 1938); ''The Born-Einstein Letters'' (translated by Irene Born) (Walker and Company, New York, 1971) &lt;!-- p. 130 --&gt; &lt;small&gt; {{ISBN|0-8027-0326-7}}&lt;/small&gt;. Born commented: &quot;The Russian trials were Stalin's purges, with which he attempted to consolidate his power. Like most people in the West, I believed these show trials to be the arbitrary acts of a cruel dictator. Einstein was apparently of a different opinion: he believed that when threatened by Hitler the Russians had no choice but to destroy as many of their enemies within their own camp as possible. I find it hard to reconcile this point of view with Einstein's gentle, humanitarian disposition.&quot;

* I consider it important, indeed urgently necessary, for intellectual workers to get together, both to protect their own economic status and, also, generally speaking, to secure their influence in the political field.
** In a comment explaining why he joined the American Federation of Teachers local number 552 as a charter member (1938).

* '''Generations to come, it may well be, will scarce believe that such a man as this one ever in flesh and blood walked upon this Earth.'''
** Statement on the occasion of Gandhi's 70th birthday (1939) Einstein archive 32-601, published in ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;pg=PA240&amp;lpg=PA240&amp;dq=einstein+%22out+of+my+later+years%22+%22will+scarce+believe%22&amp;source=web&amp;ots=xRZlwUOcEY&amp;sig=0oe_RZgwXaNYtrIGz-XDqmfWna0 Out of My Later Years]'' (1950).
** Variant: Generations to come, it may be, will scarcely believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.

*&lt;p&gt;Some recent work by E. Fermi and [[w:Leo Szilard|L. Szilard]], which has been communicated to me in manuscript, leads me to expect that the element uranium may be turned into a new and important source of energy in the immediate future. Certain aspects of the situation seem to call for watchfulness and, if necessary, quick action on the part of the Administration...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This new phenomenon would also lead to the construction of bombs, and it is conceivable—though much less certain—that extremely powerful bombs of a new type may thus be constructed. A single bomb of this type, carried by boat or exploded in a port, might very well destroy the whole port together with some of the surrounding territory. However, such bombs might very well prove to be too heavy for transportation by air.&lt;/p&gt;
** Letter to President [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] (August 2, 1939, delivered October 11, 1939); reported in ''Einstein on Peace'', ed. Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960, reprinted 1981), pp. 294–95.
 
===''Mein Weltbild'' (''My World-view'') (1931)===
[[File:Einstein2.jpg|thumb|My [[passionate]] sense of [[social]] [[justice]] and social [[responsibility]] has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other [[human]] beings and human [[communities]].]]
* I am strongly drawn to the simple life and am often oppressed by the feeling that I am engrossing an unnecessary amount of the labour of my fellow-men. '''I regard class differences as contrary to justice and, in the last resort, based on force. I also consider that plain living is good for everybody, physically and mentally.'''

* '''My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities.'''

* I gang my own gait and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties I have never lost an obstinate sense of detachment, of the need for solitude — a feeling which increases with the years.
** Variant translation: '''I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude...'''

*'''My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be [[respect]]ed as an individual and no man idolized.''' It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility.''' But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader.'''

* '''An autocratic system of coercion, in my opinion, soon degenerates. For force always attracts men of low morality, and I believe it to be an invariable rule that tyrants of genius are succeeded by scoundrels.''' For this reason I have always been passionately opposed to systems such as we see in Italy and Russia to-day.
** Variant translation: '''In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality...'''

[[File:Da Vinci Vitruve Luc Viatour.jpg|thumb|The really valuable thing in the pageant of [[human]] [[life]] seems to me not the State but the creative, sentient [[individual]], the [[personality]]...]]
* '''The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the State but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.'''

* '''This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of the herd nature, the military system, which I abhor. That a man can take pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to make me despise him.''' He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a backbone was all he needed. This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. '''Heroism by order, senseless violence, and all the pestilent nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism — how I hate them! War seems to me a mean, contemptible thing: I would rather be hacked in pieces than take part in such an abominable business.'''
** Variant translation: He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilisation should be done away with at once. '''Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.''' &lt;!-- “What I Believe,” Forum and Century, 1930, 194, reprinted as “The World As I See It&quot; 1954, 10. --&gt;

===''My Credo'' (1932)===
:&lt;small&gt;Speech to the German League of Human Rights, Berlin (Autumn 1932); as published in ''Einstein: A Life in Science'' (1994) by Michael White and John Gribbin &lt;!-- p. 262 Dutton, Penguin Books USA Inc., New York --&gt; This repeats or revises some statements and ideas of ''Mein Weltbild'' (1931). ([http://www.einsteinandreligion.com/credo.html Full text online])&lt;/small&gt;
* &lt;p&gt;'''My passion for social justice has often brought me into conflict with people, as did my aversion to any obligation and dependence I do not regard as absolutely necessary.''' I always have a high regard for the individual and have an insuperable distaste for violence and clubmanship.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;All these motives made me into a passionate pacifist and anti-militarist. I am against any nationalism, even in the guise of mere patriotism. Privileges based on position and property have always seemed to me unjust and pernicious, as did any exaggerated personality cult.&lt;/p&gt;

*&lt;p&gt;'''I am an adherent of the ideal of democracy, although I well know the weaknesses of the democratic form of government.''' Social equality and economic protection of the individual appeared to me always as the important communal aims of the state.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.'''&lt;/p&gt;

==1940s==
[[File:Albert Einstein photo 1920.jpg|thumb|Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices...]]
[[File:The Soviet Union 1988 CPA 5913 stamp (30th anniversary of Agreement Between the USA and the USSR on Exchanges in the Cultural, Technical and Educational Fields).jpg|thumb|As long as there are sovereign nations possessing great power, war is inevitable.]]
* '''Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.'''
** Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of [[Bertrand Russell]] to a teaching position (19 March 1940).
** Variant:&lt;!-- Variant translation? or a paraphrase? --&gt; Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thoughts in clear form.

* I think that it is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.
** From the article &quot;Our Goal Unity, but Germans Are Unfit&quot; in ''Free World'' 8 (October 1944), no. 4, 370-[http://books.google.com/books?id=FxHPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22duty+of+every+citizen%22#search_anchor 371]. A summary of the context is given in ''Einstein on Politics'' by David E. Rowe and Robert J. Schulmann (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA334#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 334].

* '''The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessary solving of an existing one.''' One could say it has affected us quantitatively, not qualitatively.
** From &quot;Einstein on the Atomic Bomb,&quot; part 1, an interview by [[w:Raymond Gram Swing|Raymond Swing]] in ''[[w:The Atlantic|Atlantic Monthly]]'' (November 1945). Quoted in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice, p. 168; this also appears in ''Ideas and Opinions'' in the section &quot;Atomic War or Peace&quot;.

* As long as there are sovereign nations possessing great power, war is inevitable.
** From &quot;Einstein on the Atomic Bomb,&quot; part 1, an interview by Raymond Swing in ''Atlantic Monthly'' ([http://books.google.com/books?id=iaQGAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22As+long+as+there+are+sovereign+nations+possessing+great+power+war+is+inevitable%22&amp;pg=PA43#v=onepage November 1945]).

* '''There is separation of colored people from white people in the United States. That separation is not a disease of colored people. It is a disease of white people. I do not intend to be quiet about it.'''
** From a speech given on May 3, 1946 at Lincoln University, where he was receiving an honorary degree, as reported in the 11 May 1946 edition of the ''Baltimore Afro-American.''

* '''Our world faces a crisis as yet unperceived by those possessing power to make great decisions for good or evil. '''The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking''' and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.'''
** From the article [http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm &quot;Atomic Education Urged by Einstein&quot;], ''[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]]'' ([http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50C14F6345413738DDDAC0A94DD405B8688F1D3 25 May 1946]). The article reported on a telegram sent out by Einstein to &quot;several hundred prominent Americans&quot;, asking for contributions to a nationwide campaign by the Emergency Committee of Atomic Scientists to &quot;to let the people know that a new type of thinking is essential&quot; in the age of atomic weapons.
** According to [http://web.archive.org/web/19980202194643/http://www.bullatomsci.org/nuclear/Bulletin.html &quot;A Brief History of the ''Bulletin''] from the [http://web.archive.org/web/19980202194625/http://www.bullatomsci.org/index.html former homepage] of the [[w:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists|Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists]], 'In May 1946, Einstein, one of the Bulletin's godfathers, wrote in an early Bulletin fund-raising letter: &quot;The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking, and thus we drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.&quot;'
** Variant: &quot;Our world is faced with a crisis which has never before been envisaged in its whole existence; it gives the power to make far-reaching decisions on good and evil. The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking, and thus we are being driven unarmed towards a catastrophe. … the solution of this problem lies in the heart of humankind.&quot;
*** This version appears in ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' by Carl Seelig, the English translation by Mervyn Savill (1956), p. 223. It may be that the difference in wording here owes to the fact that Seelig translated Einstein's English telegram into German, and then Mervyn Savill translated it back into English without realizing the version in Seelig's book was itself a translation from English. If this is the case, it is unclear where the phrase &quot;the solution of this problem lies in the heart of humankind&quot; came from, as it does not seem to correspond to anything in the original telegram. It may be a variant of some comment that appeared in his later interview with Michael Amrine (which was [http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60715F63E5C14738DDDAA0A94DE405B8688F1D3 printed in the ''New York Times Magazine'' on 23 June 1946], and is also reproduced on [http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm this page]) where he expanded on the message of the telegraph; for example, it may be a retranslated version of his comment &quot;Science has brought forth this danger, but the real problem is in the minds and hearts of men.&quot;

* It is easier to denature plutonium than it is to denature the evil spirit of man.
** ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=AIHgK-p6mhgC&amp;q=&amp;quot;It+is+easier+to+denature+plutonium+than+it+is+to+denature+the+evil+spirit+of+man&amp;quot;&amp;pg=PA385#v=onepage The Real Problem Is in the Hearts of Men]'', [[w:The New York Times Magazine|The New York Times Magazine]] ([http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60715F63E5C14738DDDAA0A94DE405B8688F1D3 June 23, 1946]).

* '''A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels.'''
** From [http://www.turnthetide.info/id54.htm &quot;Atomic Education Urged by Einstein&quot;], ''New York Times'' (25 May 1946), and later quoted in the article &quot;The Real Problem is in the Hearts of Man&quot; by Michael Amrine, from the ''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946). A slightly modified version of the 23 June article was reprinted in ''Einstein on Peace'' by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), and it was also reprinted in ''Einstein on Politics'' by David E. Rowe and Robert Schulmann (2007), p. 383.
** In ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005), editor Alice Calaprice suggests that two quotes attributed to Einstein which she could not find sources for, &quot;The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them&quot; and &quot;The world we have created today as a result of our thinking thus far has problems which cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them,&quot; may both be paraphrases of the 1946 quote above. A similar unsourced variant is &quot;The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.&quot;
** In the 23 June article Einstein expanded somewhat on the original quote from the 25 May article:
**:Many persons have inquired concerning a recent message of mine that &quot;a new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels.&quot;
**:Often in evolutionary processes a species must adapt to new conditions in order to survive. Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we knew it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.
**:In the light of new knowledge, a world authority and an eventual world state are not just ''desirable'' in the name of brotherhood, they are ''necessary'' for survival. In previous ages a nation's life and culture could be protected to some extent by the growth of armies in national competition. Today we must abandon competition and secure cooperation. This must be the central fact in all our considerations of international affairs; otherwise we face certain disaster. '''Past thinking and methods did not prevent world wars. Future thinking ''must'' prevent wars.'''

* '''The position in which we are now is a very strange one which in general political life never happened. Namely, the thing that I refer to is this: To have security against atomic bombs and against the other biological weapons, we have to prevent war, for if we cannot prevent war every nation will use every means that is at their disposal; and in spite of all promises they make, they will do it.''' At the same time, so long as war is not prevented, all the governments of the nations have to prepare for war, and if you have to prepare for war, then you are in a state where you cannot abolish war.&lt;br&gt; '''This is really the cornerstone of our situation. Now, I believe what we should try to bring about is the general conviction that the first thing you have to abolish is war at all costs, and every other point of view must be of secondary importance.'''
** Address to the symposium &quot;The Social Task of the Scientist in the Atomic Era&quot; at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, New Jersey (17 November 1946).

* '''You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.''' The very prevention of war requires more faith, courage and resolution than are needed to prepare for war. We must all do our share, that we may be equal to the task of peace.
** Message sent to Congressman Robert Hale of Portland, Maine (4 December 1946), to be used at a world government meeting in Portland on 11 December. Quoted in ''Einstein on Peace'' edited by Otto Nathan and Heinz Norden (1960), p. 397.

[[File:Operation_Upshot-Knothole_-_Badger_001.jpg|thumb|Had I [[known]] that the [[Germans]] would not [[succeed]] in producing an [[atomic bomb]], I would not have lifted a finger.]]
* '''Had I known that the Germans would not succeed in producing an atomic bomb, I would not have lifted a finger.'''
** Discussing the letter he sent Roosevelt raising the possibility of atomic weapons. from &quot;Atom: Einstein, the Man Who Started It All,&quot; ''Newsweek Magazine'' (10 March 1947).

* '''I agree with your remark about loving your enemy as far as actions are concerned. But for me the cognitive basis is the trust in an unrestricted causality.''' &quot;I cannot hate him, because he ''must'' do what he does.&quot; That means for me more [[Baruch Spinoza|Spinoza]] than the prophets.
** On the Christian maxim &quot;Love thy enemy&quot;, in a letter to [[w:Michele Besso|Michele Besso]] (6 January 1948).

* '''Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.'''
** As quoted by Virgil Henshaw in ''Albert Einstein : Philosopher Scientist'' (1949) edited by Paul A. Schilpp.

* '''I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the Fourth — rocks!'''
** As quoted in an interview with Alfred Werner, published in ''Liberal Judaism'' 16 (April-May 1949), 12. Einstein Archive 30-1104, as sourced in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 173.
** Differing versions of such a statement are attributed to conversations as early as 1948 (e.g. ''The Rotarian'', '''72''' (6), June 1948, [http://books.google.com/books?id=0UMEAAAAMBAJ&amp;pg=PA9 p. 9]: &quot;I don't know. But I can tell you what they'll use in the fourth. They'll use rocks!&quot;). Another variant ('I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones') is attributed to an unidentified letter to Harry S. Truman in [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337/ &quot;The culture of Einstein&quot; by Alex Johnson], ''MSNBC'' (18 April 2005).&lt;!-- also http://web.archive.org/web/20050419230458/http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7406337// publication of letter or location of archive welcom here --&gt; However, prior to 1948 very similar quotes were attributed in various articles to an unnamed army lieutenant, as discussed at [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/16/future-weapons/#more-679 ''Quote Investigator'' : &quot;The Futuristic Weapons of WW3 Are Unknown, But WW4 Will Be Fought With Stones and Spears&quot;]. The earliest found was from “Quote and Unquote: Raising ‘Alarmist’ Cry Brings a Winchell Reply” by [[Walter Winchell]], in the ''Wisconsin State Journal'' (23 September 1946), p. 6, Col. 3. In this article Winchell wrote: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Joe Laitin reports that reporters at Bikini were questioning an army lieutenant about what weapons would be used in the next war.&lt;br&gt;“I dunno,” he said, “but in the war after the next war, sure as Hell, they’ll be using spears!”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
::It seems plausible, therefore, that Einstein may have been quoting or paraphrasing an expression which he had heard or read elsewhere.

===''Only Then Shall We Find Courage'' (1946)===
[[File:Plumbbob Fizeau 001.jpg|thumb|Today we must abandon [[competition]] and secure cooperation. This must be the central [[fact]] in all our [[considerations]] of international affairs; otherwise we face certain [[disaster]].]]
:&lt;small&gt;''New York Times Magazine'' (23 June 1946)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Many persons have inquired concerning a recent message of mine that &quot;a new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;Often in evolutionary processes a species must adapt to new conditions in order to survive. Today the atomic bomb has altered profoundly the nature of the world as we know it, and the human race consequently finds itself in a new habitat to which it must adapt its thinking.&lt;br&gt;In light of new knowledge…an eventual world state is not just desirable in the name of brotherhood, it is necessary for survival... '''Today we must abandon competition and secure cooperation. This must be the central fact in all our considerations of international affairs; otherwise we face certain disaster. Past thinking and methods did not prevent world wars. Future thinking must prevent wars.'''

* As the issues are greater than men ever sought to realize before, the recriminations will be fiercer and pride more desperately hurt. It may help to recall that many recognized before the bomb ever fell that the time had already come when we must learn to live in One World.&lt;br&gt; '''The stakes are immense, the task colossal, the time is short. But we may hope — we must hope — that man’s own creation, man’s own genius, will not destroy him. Scholars, indeed all men, must move forward in the faith of that philosopher who held that there is no problem the human reason can propound which the human reason cannot reason out.'''

===''The World As I See It'' (1949)===
:&lt;small&gt;For the title essay in this work see [[#Mein_Weltbild_(1931)|Mein Weltbild (1931)]] above.&lt;!-- Philosophical Library, New York, --&gt;&lt;/small&gt;

====Some Notes on my American Impressions====
:''First published as &quot;My First Impression of the U.S.A.&quot; (1921).''
[[File:Thompsonad1sm.jpg|thumb|The prestige of [[government]] has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition [[law]]...]]
* '''The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in the United States is closely connected with this.'''

* The United States is the most powerful technically advanced country in the world to-day. Its influence on the shaping of international relations is absolutely incalculable. But America is a large country and its people have so far not shown much interest in great international problems, among which the problem of disarmament occupies first place today. This must be changed, if only in the essential interests of the Americans. The last war has shown that there are no longer any barriers between the continents and that the destinies of all countries are closely interwoven. The people of this country must realize that they have a great responsibility in the sphere of international politics. The part of passive spectator is unworthy of this country and is bound in the end to lead to disaster all round.

*What strikes a visitor is the joyous, positive attitude to life... . The American is friendly, self-confident, optimistic, and—without envy. 
** ''The World As I See It'', Philosophical Library (1949) p. 39

*The state is made for man, not man for the state. And in this respect science resembles the state.
** ''The World As I See It'', Philosophical Library (1949) p. 57

====Production and Work====
* Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work.

====Unconfirmed====
:''The following quotes have been cited as being from ''The World As I See It'' but are not in later ''abridged'' editions of the original 1949 book and thus these citations are not yet confirmed.''
*May the conscience and the common sense of the peoples be awakened, so that we may reach a new stage in the life of nations, where people will look back on war as an incomprehensible aberration of their forefathers!

===''{{w|Why Socialism?}}'' (1949)===
:&lt;small&gt;''Monthly Review'' [http://www.monthlyreview.org/598einst.htm] New York (May 1949)&lt;/small&gt;

* Historic tradition is, so to speak, of yesterday; nowhere have we really overcome what [[Thorstein Veblen]] called &quot;[[W:Thorstein Veblen#Veblen's economics and politics|the predatory phase]]&quot; of human development. The observable economic facts belong to that phase and even such laws as we can derive from them are not applicable to other phases. Since the real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development, economic science in its present state can throw little light on the socialist society of the future.

* Socialism is directed towards a social-ethical end. Science, however, cannot create ends and, even less, instill them in human beings; science, at most, can supply the means by which to attain certain ends. But the ends themselves are conceived by personalities with lofty ethical ideals and—if these ends are not stillborn, but vital and vigorous—are adopted and carried forward by those many human beings who, half unconsciously, determine the slow evolution of society. For these reasons, we should be on our guard not to overestimate science and scientific methods when it is a question of human problems; and we should not assume that experts are the only ones who have a right to express themselves on questions affecting the organization of society.

* Modern anthropology has taught us, through comparative investigation of so-called primitive cultures, that the social behavior of human beings may differ greatly, depending upon prevailing cultural patterns and the types of organisation which predominate in society. '''It is on this that those who are striving to improve the lot of man may ground their hopes: human beings are not condemned, because of their biological constitution, to annihilate each other or to be at the mercy of a cruel, self-inflicted fate.'''

* My visitor, very calmly and coolly, said to me: &quot;Why are you so deeply opposed to the disappearance of the human race?&quot; I am sure that as little as a century ago no one would have so lightly made a statement of this kind. It is the statement of a man who has striven in vain to attain an equilibrium within himself and has more or less lost hope of succeeding. It is the expression of a painful solitude and isolation from which so many people are suffering in these days.

* I am very conscious of the fact that our feelings and strivings are often contradictory and obscure and that they cannot be expressed in easy and simple formulas.

* Man is, at one and the same time, a solitary being and a social being. As a solitary being, he attempts to protect his own existence and that of those who are closest to him, to satisfy his personal desires, and to develop his innate abilities. As a social being, he seeks to gain the recognition and affection of his fellow human beings, to share in their pleasures, to comfort them in their sorrows, and to improve their conditions of life. Only the existence of these varied, frequently conflicting, strivings accounts for the special character of a man, and their specific combination determines the extent to which an individual can achieve an inner equilibrium and can contribute to the well-being of society.

* The abstract concept &quot;society&quot; means to the individual human being the sum total of his direct and indirect relations to his contemporaries and to all the people of earlier generations. The individual is able to think, feel, strive, and work by himself; but he depends so much upon society—in his physical, intellectual, and emotional existence—that it is impossible to think of him, or to understand him, outside the framework of society. It is &quot;society&quot; which provides man with food, clothing, a home, the tools of work, language, the forms of thought, and most of the content of thought; his life is made possible through the labor and the accomplishments of the many millions past and present who are all hidden behind the small word “society.”

* The dependence of the individual upon society is a fact of nature which cannot be abolished.

* Man can influence his life through his own conduct, and that in this process conscious thinking and wanting can play a part.

* '''Those who are striving to improve the lot of man may ground their hopes.'''

* Technological and demographic developments of the last few centuries have created conditions which are here to stay. In relatively densely settled populations with the goods which are indispensable to their continued existence, an extreme division of labor and a highly-centralized productive apparatus are absolutely necessary. The time—which, looking back, seems so idyllic—is gone forever when individuals or relatively small groups could be completely self-sufficient. It is only a slight exaggeration to say that mankind constitutes even now a planetary community of production and consumption.

* The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence. Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate.

* The owner of the means of production is in a position to purchase the labor power of the worker. By using the means of production, the worker produces new goods which become the property of the capitalist. The essential point about this process is the relation between what the worker produces and what he is paid, both measured in terms of real value. In so far as the labor contract is free what the worker receives is determined not by the real value of the goods he produces, but by his minimum needs and by the capitalists' requirements for labor power in relation to the number of workers competing for jobs. '''It is important to understand that even in theory the payment of the worker is not determined by the value of his product.'''

* '''I have now reached the point where I may indicate briefly what to me constitutes the essence of the crisis of our time. It concerns the relationship of the individual to society. The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence.''' Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate. '''All human beings, whatever their position in society, are suffering from this process of deterioration. Unknowingly prisoners of their own egotism, they feel insecure, lonely, and deprived of the naive, simple, and unsophisticated enjoyment of life. Man can find meaning in life, short and perilous as it is, only through devoting himself to society.'''

* '''The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil.''' We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labor — not by force, but on the whole in faithful compliance with legally established rules.

* Production is carried on for profit, not for use. There is no provision that all those able and willing to work will always be in a position to find employment; an “army of unemployed” almost always exists. The worker is constantly in fear of losing his job. Since unemployed and poorly paid workers do not provide a profitable market, the production of consumers' goods is restricted, and great hardship is the consequence. Technological progress frequently results in more unemployment rather than in an easing of the burden of work for all. The profit motive, in conjunction with competition among capitalists, is responsible for an instability in the [[Capital accumulation|accumulation]] and utilization of capital which leads to increasingly severe depressions. Unlimited competition leads to a huge waste of labor, and to that crippling of the social consciousness of individuals.

* I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals. In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilized in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman, and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society. '''Nevertheless, it is necessary to remember that a planned economy is not yet socialism. A planned economy as such may be accompanied by the complete enslavement of the individual.''' The achievement of socialism requires the solution of some extremely difficult socio-political problems: how is it possible, in view of the far-reaching centralisation of political and economic power, to prevent bureaucracy from becoming all-powerful and overweening? '''How can the rights of the individual be protected and therewith a democratic counterweight to the power of bureaucracy be assured?'''

* Private capital tends to become concentrated in few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of smaller ones. The result of these developments is an oligarchy of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists inevitably control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights.

* '''Clarity about the aims and problems of socialism is of greatest significance in our age of transition.''' Since, under present circumstances, free and unhindered discussion of these problems has come under a powerful taboo, I consider the foundation of this magazine to be an important public service.
** Referring to the ''Monthly Review'', in which the essay was published.

==1950s==
[[File:Flag of the United Nations.svg|thumb|Striving for [[peace]] and preparing for [[war]] are incompatible with each other, and in our time more so than ever.]]
[[File:Gandhi Commons.jpg|thumb| [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most [[enlightened]] of all the [[political]] men in our time. We should strive to do things in his [[spirit]]... not to use [[violence]] in [[fighting]] for our cause, but by non-participation in what we [[believe]] is [[evil]].]]
[[File:HD.3A.006 (10555707034).jpg|thumb|Without &quot;[[ethical culture]],&quot; there is no [[salvation]] for [[humanity]].]]
* '''Taken on the whole, I would believe that [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]]'s views were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time.''' We should strive to do things in his spirit... not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non-participation in what we believe is evil.
** [http://streams.gandhiserve.org/einstein.html United Nations radio interview] recorded in Einstein's study, Princeton, New Jersey (1950).

* '''I believe, indeed, that overemphasis on the purely intellectual attitude, often directed solely to the practical and factual, in our education, has led directly to the impairment of ethical values.''' I am not thinking so much of the dangers with which technical progress has directly confronted mankind, as of the stifling of mutual human considerations by a &quot;matter-of-fact&quot; habit of thought which has come to lie like a killing frost upon human relations. … The frightful dilemma of the political world situation has much to do with this sin of omission on the part of our civilization. '''Without &quot;ethical culture,&quot; there is no salvation for humanity.'''
** &quot;The Need for Ethical Culture&quot; celebrating the seventy-fifth anniversary of the [[w:Ethical Culture|Ethical Culture Society]], founded by [[Felix Adler]] (5 January 1951) (the full remarks can be found in [http://books.google.com/books?id=UppFAAAAYAAJ Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein and Carl Seelig]).

* ''Einer, der nur Zeitungen liest und, wenn's hochkommt, Bücher zeitgenössischer Autoren, kommt mir vor wie ein hochgradig Kurzsichtiger, der es verschmäht, Augengläser zu tragen. Er ist völlig abhängig von den vorurteilen und Moden seiner Zeit, denn er bekommt nichts anderes zu sehen und zu hören. Und was einer selbständig denkt ohne Anlehnung an das Denken und Erleben anderer, ist auch im besten Falle Ziemlich ärmlich und monoton.''
** Translation: Somebody who reads only newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors appears to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else. And what a person thinks on his own, without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of other people, is, similarly, even in the best case rather paltry and monotonous.
** Article in Der Jungkaufmann, [http://www.archive.org/stream/alberteinstein_03_reel03#page/n302/mode/1up April 1952], Einstein Archives 28-972.

*{{anchor|tolerate_evil}} What I particularly admire in him is the firm stand he has taken, not only against the oppressors of his countrymen, but also against those opportunists who are always ready to compromise with the Devil. He perceives very clearly that '''the world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.'''
** Einstein's tribute to [[Pablo Casals]] (30 March 1953), in ''Conversations with Casals'' (1957), page 11, by Josep Maria Corredor, translated from ''Conversations avec Pablo Casals : souvenirs et opinions d'un musicien'' (1955)
** Variant translations or paraphrasing:
** The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
*** As quoted in ''The Harper Book of Quotations'' by Robert I. Fitzhenry (1993), [http://books.google.com/books?id=THl7kUfSqCUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA356#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 356]
** The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.
*** As quoted in ''Conscious Courage : Turning Everyday Challenges Into Opportunities'' (2004) by Maureen Stearns, p. 99
** The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.

* It gives me great pleasure, indeed, to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
** Appears in ''Ideas and Opinions'' in the section &quot;Address on Receiving Lord &amp; Taylor Award&quot; (4 May 1953).

* In long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.
** Address to the Chicago Decalogue Society (20 February 1954), reprinted in a section titled &quot;Human Rights&quot; in ''Ideas and Opinions''.

* {{Anchor|Ideal of Service}}It is my belief that there is only one way to eliminate these evils, namely, the establishment of a planned economy coupled with an education geared toward social goals. Alongside the development of individual abilities, the education of the individual aspires to revive an ideal that is geared toward the service of our fellow man, and that needs to take the place of the glorification of power and outer success.
** [http://thisibelieve.org/essay/16465/ &quot;An Ideal of Service to Our Fellow Man&quot;], for the radio series ''[[w:This I Believe|This I Believe]]'' (1954?).

*'''Striving for peace and preparing for war are incompatible with each other, and in our time more so than ever.'''
** From a 16 June 1950 U.N. radio interview, the transcript of which appears in the section &quot;The Pursuit of Peace&quot; in his book ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954).

* The idea of achieving security through national armament is, at the present state of military technique, a disastrous illusion.
** ''Ideas and Opinions'' (1954).&lt;!-- p. 159 Crown Publishers --&gt;

* That is simple my friend: because politics is more difficult than physics.
** Response to being asked why people could discover atomic power, but not the means to control it, as quoted in ''The New York Times'' (22 April 1955).

*The important thing is not to stop questioning.
** Statement to William Miller, as quoted in ''LIFE'' magazine (2 May 1955) [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;dq=Life%2C%202%20May%201955&amp;pg=PA61#v=onepage&amp;q=Life,%202%20May%201955&amp;f=false ''Old Man's Advice to Youth: &quot;Never Lose a Holy Curiosity&quot;''] pages 61-64, at page 64.

===''Out of My Later Years'' (1950)===
:&lt;small&gt;A collection of Einstein's essays which cover a period of 1934 to 1950.&lt;/small&gt;

* This freedom of communication is indispensable for the development and extension of scientific knowledge, a consideration of much practical import. In the first instance it must be guaranteed by law. '''But laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man may present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire population.''' Such an ideal of external liberty can never be fully attained but must be sought unremittingly if scientific thought, and philosophical and creative thinking in general, are to be advanced as far as possible.
** &quot;On Freedom&quot; (1940), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA13#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 13].

* '''Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.'''
** &quot;Morals and Emotions&quot; (1938), [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q1UxYzuI2oQC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA19#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 19].

* '''Everyone is aware of the difficult and menacing situation in which human society -- shrunk into one community with a common fate — finds itself, but only a few act accordingly.''' Most people go on living their every-day life: half frightened, half indifferent, they behold the ghostly tragi-comedy which is being performed on the international stage before the eyes and ears of the world. But on that stage, on which the actors under the floodlights play their ordained parts, our fate of tomorrow, life or death of the nations, is being decided.
** &quot;The Menace of Mass Destruction&quot; (1947).

* One strength of the communist system of the East is that it has some of the character of a religion and inspires the emotions of a religion. Unless the concept of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it can hardly hope to succeed.
** &quot;Atomic War or Peace&quot; part II (1947).

===''Essay to Leo Baeck'' (1953)===
:&lt;small&gt;Statements by Einstein from ''Essays Presented to [[w:Leo Baeck|Leo Baeck]] on the Occasion of His Eightieth Birthday'' (1954), p. 26; Baeck's birthday was 23 May 1953; Einstein Archives 28-962. Some quotes are from ''The New Quotable Einstein'' (2005) edited by Alice Calaprice, pp. 120-121, others from ''Ideas and Opinions'' by Albert Einstein (1954), where they appear in the section &quot;Aphorisms for Leo Baeck.&quot;&lt;/small&gt;

* '''Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity [[opinions]] that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.'''
** ''The New Quotable Einstein''.

* The contrasts and contradictions that can permanently live peacefully side by side in a skull make all the systems of political optimists and pessimists illusory.
** ''Ideas and Opinions''.

=== ''[[w:Russell–Einstein Manifesto|Russell–Einstein Manifesto]]'' (1955) ===
: &lt;small&gt;[https://pugwash.org/1955/07/09/statement-manifesto/ Full text of the manifesto]&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:Nagasakibomb.jpg|thumb|right|Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?]]
* '''Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an [[w:Global catastrophic risk|end to the human race]]; or shall mankind renounce war?'''

* '''We are speaking on this occasion, not as members of this or that nation, continent, or creed, but as human beings, members of the species Man, whose continued existence is in doubt.''' The world is full of conflicts; and, overshadowing all minor conflicts, the titanic struggle between Communism and anti-Communism...we want you, if you can, to set aside such feelings and '''consider yourselves only as members of a biological species which has had a remarkable history, and whose disappearance none of us can desire.'''

* It is feared that if many [[w:Thermonuclear weapons|H-bombs]] are used there will be [[w:Human extinction|universal death]], sudden only for a minority, but for the majority a slow torture of disease and disintegration.

==Posthumous publication==
:&lt;small&gt;Posthumous quotes can be particularly problematic, especially where earlier sources are not cited at all. &lt;/small&gt;

* I made one great mistake in my life—when I signed that letter to President Roosevelt recommending that atom bombs be made; but there was some justification—the danger that the Germans would make them!
** Written by [[Linus Pauling]] in his diary after a conversation with Einstein (16 November 1954). Quoted in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2005), p. 175. Calaprice writes that the quote was copied directly from Pauling's diary.
** Variant: &quot;I made one mistake in my life—when I signed that letter to President Roosevelt advocating that the bomb should be built. But perhaps I can be forgiven for that because we all felt that there was a high probability that the Germans were working on this problem and that they might succeed and use the atomic bomb to become the master race.&quot; Appears in ''The Expanded Quotable Einstein'' by Alice Calaprice (2000), p. 185. However, in ''The New Quotable Einstein'' Calaprice writes &quot;The longer version quoted in the previous editions of this book (copied from secondary sources) is not in the diary.&quot;

* I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.
** Attributed to Einstein by his colleague Léopold Infeld in his book ''Quest: An Autobiography'' (1949), [http://books.google.com/books?id=fsvXYpOSowkC&amp;q=%22garbage+man%22#v=snippet&amp;q=%22garbage%20man%22&amp;f=false p. 291]

* Yes, we now have to divide up our time like that, between politics and our equations. '''But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.'''
** Earliest source located is the book ''Brighter than a Thousand Suns: A Personal History of the Atomic Scientists'' by Robert Jungk (1958), p. 249, which says that Einstein made the comment during &quot;a walk with Ernst Straus, a young mathematician acting as his scientific assistant at Princeton.&quot;
** Variant: &quot;Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity.&quot; From ''A Briefer History of Time'' by Stephen Hawking (2005), [http://books.google.com/books?id=4Y0ZBW19n_YC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA144#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 144].
** Earlier, Straus recalled the German version of the quote in ''Helle Zeit, Dunkle Zeit: In Memoriam Albert Einstein'' (1956) edited by Carl Seelig&lt;!-- Zurich: Europa Verlag --&gt;, p. 71. There the quote was given as ''Ja, so muß man seine Zeit zwischen der Politik und unseren Gleichungen teilen. Aber unsere Gleichungen sind mir doch viel wichtiger; denn die Politik ist für die Gegenwart da, aber solch eine Gleichung is etwas für die Ewigkeit.''

* As far as I'm concerned I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
** Attributed to Einstein in ''Albert Einstein: A Documentary Biography'' by Carl Seeling (1956), [http://books.google.com/books?id=VCbPAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22silent+vice%22#search_anchor p. 114]. Einstein is said to have made this remark &quot;when someone in his company grew angry about a mutual acquaintance's moral decline&quot;.

* The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
** Attributed by his friend Leo Mattersdorf, who also said that &quot;From the time Professor Einstein came to this country until his death, I prepared his income tax returns and advised him on his tax problems.&quot; In a letter to ''Time'' magazine, 22 February 1963. See [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/03/07/einstein-income-taxes/#more-2031 this post from The Quote Investigator] for more background.

===''Albert Einstein: The Human Side'' (1979)===
:&lt;small&gt;[[w:Helen Dukas|Helen Dukas]] and [[w:Banesh Hoffmann|Banesh Hoffmann]], ''Albert Einstein, The Human Side: New Glimpses From His Archives'' (1979)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''[[Politics]] is a pendulum whose swings between [[anarchy]] and [[tyranny]] are fueled by perennially rejuvenated illusions.'''
** [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;pg=PA38 Aphorism (1937), p. 38].

* In my opinion, condemning the Zionist movement as &quot;nationalistic&quot; is unjustified. Consider the path by which [[w:Theodor Herzl|Herzl]] came to his mission. Initially he had been completely cosmopolitan. But during the [[w:Dreyfus affair|Dreyfus trial]] in Paris he suddenly realized with great clarity how precarious was the situation of the Jews in the western world. And courageously he drew the conclusion that we are discriminated against or murdered not because we are Germans, Frenchmen, Americans, etc. of the &quot;Jewish faith&quot; but simply because we are Jews. Thus already our precarious situation forces us to stand together irrespective of our citizenship.&lt;br&gt;Zionism gave the German Jews no great protection against annihilation. But it did give the survivors the inner strength to endure the debacle with dignity and without losing their healthy self respect. Keep in mind that perhaps a similar fate could be lying in wait for your children.
** c. 1946, p. 63-64.

&quot;I believe in standardizing automobiles, not human beings.&quot; Speaking on how standardization has catalyzed the innovation of American technology.

===''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983)===
:&lt;small&gt;William Hermanns, ''Einstein and the Poet: In Search of the Cosmic Man'' (1983). From a series of meetings Hermanns had with Einstein in 1930, 1943, 1948, and 1954, during which he took notes on what Einstein said (though it's unclear if he recorded the exact phrasing or filled in words from memory). Another person present at the 1954 conversation offered his own slightly different transcription of Einstein's comments, which was published in the article [http://books.google.com/books?id=dlYEAAAAMBAJ&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA62#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false &quot;Death of a Genius&quot;] from the 2 May, 1955 issue of ''Life Magazine''. &quot;Einstein and the Poet&quot; is viewable on Google Books [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC here].&lt;/small&gt;
====Third conversation (1948)====
* And the traditional religions worry me. Their long history proves that they have not understood the meaning of the commandment: Thou shalt not kill. If we want to save this world from unimaginable destruction we should concentrate not on the faraway God, but on the heart of the individual. We live now in an international anarchy in which a Third World War with nuclear weapons lies before our door. We must make the individual man aware of his conscience so that he understands what it means that only a few will survive the next war.
** p. 98.

* I happened to have nothing to do with the actual research and development of the bomb. My letter to President Roosevelt was nothing but a letter of introduction for Dr. Szilard who wanted to create adequate contact between scientists and Washington regarding the Manhattan project. I had only handled the problem of nuclear defense when it was reported to me that the Germans were working on such an atomic bomb and, in fact, had uranium mines in Czechoslovakia in their control. I felt it was imperative for the United States to proceed in the development of the bomb, before Hitler used it to destroy London. I also felt that we had to show Germany the power of America, for power is the only language barbarians understand. And when I later learned that the bomb had been created and was to be used against Japan, I did all in my power to avert President Truman from this plan, since publicly dropping it on an empty island would have been sufficient to convince Japan or any nation to sue for peace.
** p. 100.

* America is a democracy and has no Hitler, but I am afraid for her future; there are hard times ahead for the American people, troubles will be coming from within and without. America cannot smile away their Negro problem nor Hiroshima and Nagasaki. There are cosmic laws.
** p. 108.

* If I had foreseen [[w:Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|Hiroshima and Nagasaki]], I would have torn up my formula in 1905.
** p. 112.

* America, however, uses Russia now as a pretext to arm and create more terrible nuclear bombs. If I were young, I would leave the United States. I want to live where scholarship is free and unattached to the military machine. I want to live where spiritual values are not suppressed by the State. Nothing has real value which is not done out of love for one's fellowman. Poor America—the Apocalyptic rider is coming.
** p. 113.

====Fourth conversation (1954)====
* [''asked whether he had communist sympathies''] '''I have never admired any system that encourages a herd nature in man by suppressing his free will to choose for himself. . . . I said that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] sacrificed himself for the ideal of social justice, but I didn't say that his theories are right.''' As for [[Lenin]], I don't believe he liked me. '''How can I be called a communist when I have fought so long for freedom of thought, of expression, freedom from the military boot, and freedom from automation?'''
** p. 131

* Don't think about why you question, simply don't stop questioning.
** p. 138
** Variant transcription from &quot;Death of a Genius&quot; in ''Life Magazine'': &quot;Then do not stop to think about the reasons for what you are doing, about why you are questioning. The important thing is not to stop questioning.&quot;

{{Disputed begin}}

==Disputed==
* In December, 1947, he made the following statement: &quot;I came to America because of the great, great freedom which I heard existed in this country. I made a mistake in selecting America as a land of freedom, a mistake I cannot repair in the balance of my life.&quot;
** Attributed in FBI Memo, February 13, 1950 (item 61-4099-25 in Einstein's FBI file—viewable online as p. 72 of &quot;Albert Einstein Part 1 of 14&quot; [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein here], as well as p. 72 of the pdf file which can be downloaded [http://vault.fbi.gov/Albert%20Einstein/Albert%20Einstein%20Part%201%20of%2014/at_download/file here]). There is no other information in the FBI's released files as to what source attributed this statement to Einstein, and the files are full of falsehoods, including the accusation that Einstein was secretly pro-communist.

* We cannot solve our problems with the same kind of thinking we used when we created them
**   Attributed to Einstein in a [https://books.google.com/books?id=pDKHwZr8BkwC&amp;pg=PT17&amp;dq=%22We+cannot+solve+our+problems+with+the+same+kind+of+thinking+we+used+when+we+created+them%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oauaVbO0B9DXoATNmJDwAQ&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22We%20cannot%20solve%20our%20problems%20with%20the%20same%20kind%20of%20thinking%20we%20used%20when%20we%20created%20them%22&amp;f=false self-published book about Jesus from 2006], but it has not been found in any known work by Einstein.
{{Disputed end}}

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==
*&lt;p&gt;Being a lover of freedom, when the revolution came in Germany, I looked to the universities to defend it, knowing that they had always boasted of their devotion to the cause of truth; but, no, the universities immediately were silenced. Then I looked to the great editors of the newspapers whose flaming editorials in days gone by had proclaimed their love of freedom; but they, like the universities, were silenced in a few short weeks. Then I looked to individual writers who, as literary guides of Germany, had written much and often concerning the place of freedom in modern life; but they, too, were mute.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Only the church stood squarely across the path of Hitler's campaign for suppressing truth. I never had any special interest in the church before, but now I feel a great affection and admiration because the church alone has had the courage and persistence to stand for intellectual truth and moral freedom. I am forced thus to confess that what I once despised I now praise unreservedly.&lt;/p&gt;
**Attributed in “The Conflict Between Church And State In The Third Reich”, by [[w:S. Parkes Cadman|S. Parkes Cadman]], ''La Crosse Tribune and Leader-Press'' (28 October 1934), viewable online on p. 9 of the issue [http://newspaperarchive.com/us/wisconsin/la-crosse/la-crosse-tribune-and-leader-press/1934/10-28/ here] (double-click the page to zoom). The quote is preceded by “In this connection it is worth quoting ''in free translation'' a statement made by Professor Einstein last year to one of my colleagues who has been prominently identified with the Protestant church in its contacts with Germany.” [Emphasis added.] '''While based on something that Einstein said, Einstein himself stated that the quote was not an accurate record of his words or opinion.''' After the quote appeared in ''Time'' magazine (23 December 1940), [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,765103,00.html p. 38], a minister in Harbor Springs, Michigan wrote to Einstein to check if the quote was real. Einstein wrote back “'''It is true that I made a statement which corresponds approximately with the text you quoted. I made this statement during the first years of the Nazi-Regime — much earlier than 1940 — and my expressions were a little more moderate.'''” (March 1943) [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/200706A19.html]
**In a later letter to Rev. Cornelius Greenway of Brooklyn, who asked if Einstein would write out the statement in his own hand, Einstein was more vehement in his repudiation of the statement (14 November 1950) [http://books.google.com/books?id=T5R7JsRRtoIC&amp;pg=PA94]: &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;'''The wording of the statement you have quoted is not my own.''' Shortly after Hitler came to power in Germany I had an oral conversation with a newspaper man about these matters. '''Since then my remarks have been elaborated and exaggerated nearly beyond recognition. I cannot in good conscience write down the statement you sent me as my own.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; The matter is all the more embarrassing to me because I, like yourself, I am predominantly critical concerning the activities, and especially the political activities, through history of the official clergy. '''Thus, my former statement, even if reduced to my actual words (which I do not remember in detail) gives a wrong impression of my general attitude.'''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:: In his original statement Einstein was probably referring to the actions of the [[w:Pfarrernotbund|Emergency Covenant of Pastors]] organized by [[Martin Niemöller]], and the [[w:Confessing Church|Confessing Church]] which he and other prominent churchmen such as [[Karl Barth]] and [[Dietrich Bonhoeffer]] established in opposition to Nazi policies.
:: Einstein also made some scathingly negative comments about the behavior of the Church under the Nazi regime (and its behavior towards Jews throughout history) in a 1943 conversation with William Hermanns recorded in Hermanns' book ''Einstein and the Poet'' (1983). On [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA63#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 63] Hermanns records him saying &quot;Never in history has violence been so widespread as in Nazi Germany. The concentration camps make the actions of Ghengis Khan look like child's play. But what makes me shudder is that the Church is silent. One doesn't need to be a prophet to say, 'The Catholic Church will pay for this silence.' Dr. Hermanns, you will live to see that there is moral law in the universe. . . .There are cosmic laws, Dr. Hermanns. They cannot be bribed by prayers or incense. What an insult to the principles of creation. But remember, that for God a thousand years is a day. This power maneuver of the Church, these Concordats through the centuries with worldly powers . . . the Church has to pay for it. We live now in a scientific age and in a psychological age. You are a sociologist, aren't you? You know what the ''Herdenmenschen'' (men of herd mentality) can do when they are organized and have a leader, especially if he is a spokesmen for the Church. I do not say that the unspeakable crimes of the Church for 2000 years had always the blessings of the Vatican, but it vaccinated its believers with the idea: We have the true God, and the Jews have crucified Him. The Church sowed hate instead of love, though the Ten Commandments state: Thou shalt not kill.&quot; And then on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA64#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 64]: &quot;I'm not a Communist but I can well understand why they destroyed the Church in Russia. All the wrongs come home, as the proverb says. The Church will pay for its dealings with Hitler, and Germany, too.&quot; And on [http://books.google.com/books?id=QXCyjj6T5ZUC&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA65#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false p. 65]: &quot;I don't like to implant in youth the Church's doctrine of a personal God, because that Church has behaved so inhumanely in the past 2000 years. The fear of punishment makes the people march. Consider the hate the Church manifested against the Jews and then against the Muslims, the Crusades with their crimes, the burning stakes of the Inquisition, the tacit consent of Hitler's actions while the Jews and the Poles dug their own graves and were slaughtered. And Hitler is said to have been an alter boy! The truly religious man has no fear of life and no fear of death—and certainly no blind faith; his faith must be in his conscience. . . . I am therefore against all organized religion. Too often in history, men have followed the cry of battle rather than the cry of truth.&quot; When Hermanns asked him &quot;Isn't it only human to move along the line of least resistance?&quot;, Einstein responded &quot;Yes. It is indeed human, as proved by Cardinal Pacelli, who was behind the Concordat with Hitler. Since when can one make a pact with Christ and Satan at the same time? And he is now the Pope! The moment I hear the word 'religion', my hair stands on end. The Church has always sold itself to those in power, and agreed to any bargain in return for immunity. It would have been fine if the spirit of religion had guided the Church; instead, the Church determined the spirit of religion. Churchmen through the ages have fought political and institutional corruption very little, so long as their own sanctity and church property were preserved.&quot;

*Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
** Actually written by [[E. F. Schumacher]] in a 1973 essay titled &quot;Small is Beautiful&quot; which appeared in ''The Radical Humanist: volume 37'', [http://books.google.com/books?id=oA0IAQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 22]. Earliest published source found on Google Books attributing this to Einstein is ''BMJ: The British Medical Journal'', volume 319, 23 October 1999, [http://books.google.com/books?id=bQk7AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22more+violent%22#search_anchor p. 1102]. It was attributed to Einstein on the internet somewhat before that, for example in [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.weemba/msg/2bbf56ab8f4f757d?hl=en this 1997 post].

* The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
** Variously misattributed to figures also including [[Benjamin Franklin]] and [[Mark Twain]]. The earliest known occurrence, and probable origin, is from a 1981 text from [[Narcotics Anonymous]].

* Nuclear power is a hell of a way to boil water.
** Commonly quoted on the internet, this quote is actually from Karl Grossman, via his 1980 book ''Cover Up: What You are Not Supposed to Know About Nuclear Power'' (p. 155; freely available online via its [http://www.thepermanentpress.com/p-354-cover-up.aspx publisher]; see PDF page 187).
{{Misattributed end}}

==Quotes about Einstein's politics==
*Einstein's earliest political activity came during the First World War, when he was a professor in Berlin. Sickened by what he saw as the waste of human lives, he became involved in antiwar demonstrations. [...] Einstein's second great cause was Zionism. Although he was Jewish by descent, Einstein rejected the biblical idea of God. However, a growing awareness of anti-Semitism, both before and during the First World War, led him gradually to identify with the Jewish community, and later to become an outspoken supporter of Zionism. [...] Throughout his life, Einstein's efforts toward peace probably achieved little that would last—and certainly won him few friends.
**[[Stephen Hawking]], ''A Brief History of Time'', Albert Einstein.

*Einstein appears to have been unaware that only calculation and distribution in terms of market prices make it possible to utilise our discoverable resources intensively, to guide production to serve ends lying beyond the range of the producer's perception, and to enable the individual to participate usefully in productive exchange (first, by serving people, mostly unknown to him, to the gratification of whose needs he can nonetheless effectively contribute; and second, by himself being supplied as well as he is only because people who know nothing about his existence are induced, also by market signals, to provide for his needs: see the previous chapter). In following such sentiments Einstein shows his lack of comprehension of, or real interest in, the actual processes by which human efforts are coordinated.
**[[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Fatal Conceit'' (1988), Ch. 4: The Revolt of Instinct and Reason.

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Political views of Albert Einstein}}

[[Category:Albert Einstein|politics]]</text>
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'''''[[w:Pixels (2015 film)|Pixels]]''''' is a [[w:2015 in film|2015]] science-fiction [[W:comedy film|comedy film]] starring [[Adam Sandler]], [[Kevin James]], {{w|Michelle Monaghan}}, [[Peter Dinklage]] and {{w|Josh Gad}}. The film is about a group of former video gamers who band together to fight off aliens invading Earth in the form of video games.

:''Directed by {{w|Chris Columbus}}. Written by {{w|Tim Herlihy}} and Timothy Dowling.''

{{center|'''Play for the planet.'''{{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}}

== Dialogue ==
:'''13-Year-Old Sam Brenner:''' Cooper, it's open!
:'''13-Year-Old Will Cooper:''' ''[surprised]'' ''It's open?!''
:'''13-Year-Old Sam:''' Come on! ''[Cooper gets on his bike]'' It's supposed to be awesome.
:'''13-Year-Old Will:''' Thank you. ''[takes his sister's quarters]''
:'''Will's sister:''' ''Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser!'' '''MOM!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Hello. I am a Nerd from the Nerd Brigade. Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.
:'''Matty:''' Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
:'''Brenner:''' If I wanna get paid, yes.
:'''Matty:''' Isn't it kind of demeaning?
:'''Sam:''' Only if someone brings that up.
:'''Matty:''' Okay, I won't bring it up, then.
:'''Sam:''' Thanks.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sam:''' Mrs. Van Patten. All finished up down there. I need you to sign the work order.
:'''Violet:''' ''[voice wavering]'' Okay.
:'''Sam:''' ''[confused]'' Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
:'''Violet:''' ''[voice wavering]'' Yes.
:'''Sam:''' Not judging, but what are you doing in the closet?
:'''Violet:''' ''[voice wavering]'' I'm mostly crying. A little drinking. Probably equally crying and drinking.
:'''Sam:''' Something I do often also. But why in the closet?
:'''Violet:''' ''[voice wavering]'' Because I don't want Matty to see me. ''[she starts crying]''
:'''Sam:''' I'm coming in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. I'm opening the door. ''[he see Violet on the floor holding a Sippy Cup]'' ''[calmly, and concerned]'' Are you all right?
:'''Violet:''' ''[voice breaking]'' I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet, drinking [[w:Chardonnay|Chardonnay]] out of a Sippy Cup, so I guess not.
:'''Sam:''' ''[apologetically]'' Sorry. I withdraw the question. Uh&amp;ndash; ''[he sits on the floor with Violet]''
:'''Violet:''' ''[sobbing]'' Oh, God!
:'''Sam:''' ''[smiling]'' Wanna talk about it?
:'''Violet:''' No. Yes! Yes. ''[sobbing in Sam Brenner's shoulder]'' Oh, God!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Violet:''' ''[addressing Sam Brenner]'' Why are you following me?
:'''Sam:''' Oh, God.
:'''Violet:''' I can't believe they even let you in here.
:'''Sam:''' Right.
:'''Jennifer:''' Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
:'''Violet:''' Yeah. See, they need me in the Situation Room, so have fun doing whatever you're doing.
:'''Sam:''' Mmm.
:'''Jennifer:''' Mr. Brenner, the president is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
:'''Sam :''' ''[falsetto voice, mockingly]'' [[Happy Gilmore|Somebody's more important.]] ''[moonwalks and addresses a member of the presidential detail while looking at Violet]'' ''[normal voice]'' Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? ''[he moonwalks into the Oval Office]'' ''[to Cooper]'' Yo, wassup?
:'''Will Cooper:''' Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
:'''Sam Brenner:''' You told me to rush right over. What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
:'''Will Cooper:''' Our Air Force Base in Guam was attacked.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' By who?
:'''Will Cooper:''' I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. Come here. Check this out.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Me?
:'''Will Cooper:''' Yes, you. Come here. Listen to this. ''[he hits the space button on the keyboard, and deep whirring is heard.]'' [[w:Galaga|Does that sound familiar to you?]]
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Yeah. Where do I know that from? Can you freeze it?
:'''Will Cooper:''' Yeah, hold on. ''[he pauses the video.]''
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Go in tighter. ''[Cooper does so.]'' That can't be real.
:'''Will Cooper:''' Okay, so, you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?
:'''Jennifer:''' ''[enters the Oval Office]'' They're ready for you, Mr. President.
:'''Will Cooper:''' Great. Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. Listen, do me a favor, Sam. Watch that again, okay? And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
:'''Will Cooper:''' No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. ''[he waves at the security camera, and sits in the chair anyway.]'' I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Violet''': Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates to each of your car's GPSes. Let's locate and eliminate.
:'''Will Cooper''': Come on, guys.
:''[Pac-Man chases man on his bicycle. Ludlow is shocked.]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[confused]'' Pac-Man's a ''bad guy?''
:''[Iwatani sees Pac-Man eat man's bike.]''
:'''Professor Iwatani''': Pac-Man is not bad! I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world! They have brainwashed him! Deep down, he's kind, gentle. Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
:''[Pac-Man stops in front of the Ghost Cars.]''
:'''Professor Iwatani''': You'll see.
:''[Iwatani exits his Ghost Car.]''
:'''Violet''': Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
:'''Sam Brenner''': Professor Iwatani, what are you doing?!
:'''Professor Iwatani''': I will talk to him. He's my son!
:'''Sam Brenner''': No, that's a bad idea.
:''[Iwatani walks up to Pac-Man.]''
:'''Professor Iwatani''': ''[to Pac-Man]'' Hello, my sweet, little boy. Look how big you've grown. I'm so proud of you.
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
:'''Professor Iwatani''': But all these destructive things you're doing, it's wrong. I'm your father. I know, you're a good boy.
:''[Iwatani reaches out. Ludlow nods as if saying, &quot;Go on.&quot; Suddenly, Pac-Man bites Iwatani's hand into pixels, and Iwatani screams in pain.]''
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': '''''NOOOOO!!!!'''''
:'''Professor Iwatani''': '''''SOMEBODY KILL THIS STUPID BITCH!!!!'''''
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[shocked and horrified]'' That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there!
:''[Pac-Man runs away]''
:'''Eddie Plant''': All right, losers! It's 3 on 1. Let's hit it!
:''[the Arcaders start chasing Pac-Man. During the chase, Pac-Man eats a fire truck.]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': Pac-Man's faster than I remember!
:'''Eddie Plant''': Pac-Man's ''always'' been faster than the ghosts. We're gonna have to out-maneuver his ass. ''[he and the Arcaders sharply turn around a car.]'' Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. ''[The Arcaders go in different directions.]'' I'll stay with Big Yellow.
:'''Violet''': ''[sees Eddie's car going another way very quickly.]'' Whoa! Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
:'''Eddie Plant''': 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
:''[Pac-Man eats an ambulance, but runs into Ludlow Lamonsoff.]
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': Nope!
:''[Pac-Man runs into Sam Brenner.]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': What's up?
:''[Pac-Man tries to run away, but sees Eddie Plant about to kill him.]''
:'''Eddie Plant''': '''''OH, YEAH!'''''
:''[Eddie kills Pac-Man]''
:'''Will Cooper''': Good one, Eddie.
:'''Eddie Plant''': Whew.
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[on radio]'' One down!
:'''Violet''': Two to go! ''[the Arcaders go another way.]'' All right, Pac-Man Number Two just regenerated four streets away headed North Bound. Turn east at the next intersection. Brenner, go straight.
:'''Sam Brenner''': Got it.
:'''Violet''': Ludlow, go left. ''[Ludlow does so]'' Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': We got him! He's got nowhere to go!
:''[Pac-Man eats a Power Pellet, thus turning all the Ghost Cars dark blue.]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[shocked]'' Oh, God. No!
:'''Violet''': &quot;Oh, God. No!&quot; what?
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': He ate the Power Pellet! Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us! ''[Pac-Man starts chasing Ludlow]'' Why me?! ''[Ludlow runs away]'' Oh, God, don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Please, please don't eat me. ''[Pac-Man starts eating Ludlow's Ghost Car, and he screams in terror]'' '''''GUYS! HELP! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN!''''' ''[Ludlow barely escapes the Ghost Car before it gets eaten by Pac-Man. Then Pac-Man turns around and continues chasing Ludlow.]'' Why are you doing this to me? ''[Ludlow runs for his life.]'' '''''YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED! YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!'''''
:'''Will Cooper''': '''''LUDLOW, RUN! PUMP YOUR LEGS! GO, BABY!'''''
:''[Ludlow continues running from Pac-Man. Suddenly, Eddie appears and kills Pac-Man again.]''
:'''Will Cooper''': ''[as the people in the office cheer]'' '''''ATTABOY, EDDIE!'''''
:'''Eddie Plant''': ''[chuckles]'' You just got fire-blasted, sucka!
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': ''[makes finger guns at Eddie.]'' ''[weakly]'' Uh-huh. ''[faints from fear.]''
:'''Eddie Plant''': ''[sighs]'' What?
:'''Violet''': How the Hell did he get over there so fast?
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[to Eddie]'' Way to go, champ!
:'''Eddie Plant''': Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[sarcastically]'' Yeah. Thrilled. ''[normally]'' One more to go and it's Happy Hour.
:''[Pac-Man Number Three regenerates where Pac-Man Number Two died, and Sam and Eddie chase Pac-Man leaving Ludlow laying in the street.]
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff''': So I, I guess they're just leaving me here.
:''[Pac-Man runs for his life as Sam and Eddie chase him.]''
:'''Eddie Plant''': Now it's time for the hat trick.
:''[Eddie accelerates but Pac-Man turns right causing Eddie to fly off of the road, falling into the East River.]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': Wow!
:'''Violet''': Brenner, it's on you. There are still 3 other Power Pellets out there, so stay alert.
:'''Sam Brenner''': I got this. If I don't, the world ends. Can't let that happen.
:'''Will Cooper''': Come on, Brenner. Come on.
:''[Sam continues chasing Pac-Man]''
:'''Violet''': Brenner, he leading you directly towards one of the Power Pellets. Get out of there.
:''[Pac-Man eats Power Pellet, turning Sam Brenner's Ghost Car dark blue, and starts chasing Sam Brenner]''
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[with a game face]'' 1.
:'''Violet''': ''[confused]'' What the Hell is he doing?
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[backs up]'' 2.
:'''Violet''': ''[angrily]'' Damn it, Brenner, I have a son who I'd like to see grow up!
:'''Sam Brenner''': 3. You'll see your boy grow up. ''[Pac-Man chases him into parking garage]'' 4.
:'''Violet''': ''[alarmed]'' Brenner, get out; He's going to eat you!
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[getting chased through the parking garage.]'' 5. 6. 7. 8. '''''9.''''' ''[closes his eyes tight. The Ghost Car and Pac-Man fly through the air in slow-mo, and Pac-Man opens his mouth, about to eat Sam Brenner.]'' ...10. ''[barely kills Pac-Man Number Three. He lands on another part of the parking garage, and he breathes heavily, as Pac-Man powers down.]''
:'''Will Cooper''': ''[as everyone cheers wildly]'' '''''OH! OH! YOU DID IT! BRENNER! THAT'S THE ONE, BABY!''''' ''[he and his wife hug. Two Admiral's shake hands. Violet sees Sam Brenner exit his Ghost Car and chuckles in disbelief.]''
:''[Sam Brenner emerges from the parking garage]''
:'''Man in Crowd''': He's over here!
:''[Sam Brenner is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause. Eddie arrives on a fire truck, drenched, and gives the crowd a &quot;Rock on!&quot; hand gesture.]'' 
:'''Woman in Crowd:''' Fire Blaster, I love you!
:''[Ludlow appears holding a blanket over something.]''
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff:''' Hey, guys! Sorry, coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes, sorry. ''[to Sam and Eddie]'' Hey! ''[whispers]'' Hey. Check it out. I think I might have found our next trophy.
:''[uncovers blanket revealing Q*Bert mumbling]''
:'''Sam Brenner:''' ''[intrigued]'' It's Q*Bert.
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff:''' ''[excitedly]'' Yeah, I know! I know.
:'''Eddie Plant:''' Can I kill it?
:'''Sam Brenner:''' No! Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. And ''then'' we'll kill him.
:'''Q*Bert:''' '''''Huh?'''''
:'''Sam Brenner:''' I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him.
:'''Q*Bert:''' Bye.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jim Porter:''' ''[turns off TV, and tosses remote]'' I don't know what would be worse. Them failing, or them actually pulling this off.
:'''Mrs. Porter:''' ''[offscreen]'' What was that, Jim?
:'''Jim Porter:''' Can you '''''SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS?!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[watching Matty play a game on Xbox]'' There's no rhyme or reason to this game. Where're the patterns? He just attacks at a left field.
:'''Matty''': Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede? You memorized the patterns?
:'''Sam Brenner''': Yeah. Only way to beat these things. Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers.
:'''Matty''': Where's the fun in that?
:'''Sam Brenner''': Oh, boy. Why? What do you do?
:'''Matty''': You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.
:'''Sam Brenner''': Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time.
:'''Matty''': That's why you have your reset button.
:'''Sam Brenner''': Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up. ''[indirectly offscreen]'' Most violent game I've ever seen. Eh-eh, I don't think it's healthy for ya.
:'''Matty''': It's fine, I can handle it.
:'''Sam Brenner''': No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to homeboy.
:'''Q*Bert''': ''[shaking in fear]'' So much blood!
:'''Sam Brenner''': Yeah. Hey, you know what'll cheer ya up? A cheese ball.
:'''Q*Bert''': Yep.
:'''Sam Brenner''': Huh? Come on, suck one up. ''[Q*Bert sucks up a cheese ball.]'' Take a handful. ''[throws a handful of cheese balls in the opposite direction, and Q*Bert sucks them in.]'' That was smooth. ''[chuckles]'' That was very smooth! ''[to Matty]'' You know, we should get him some exercise, maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
:'''Q*Bert''': ''[excitedly]'' Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!
:'''Matty''': Okay. How about me and him do that while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
:'''Sam Brenner''': Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
:'''Q*Bert''': ''[as his signature swear bubble appears]'' Bullcrap!
:'''Sam Brenner''': ''[to Q*Bert]'' You're right, I am. Okay. Here, finish these. ''[Q*Bert finishes cheese ball container]'' You gettin' chubby. ''[Q*Bert chuckles]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Will Cooper:''' ''[after saving Sam, Violet and Ludlow from being pixelated by Frogger, and takes off Chewbacca mask.]'' Nobody's better at the Crane Game than me!
:'''Sam Brenner:''' '''''Chewie?!''''' What's with the disguise, buddy?
:'''Will Cooper:''' They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue. ''[reveals his Arcader uniform]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Donkey Kong.
:'''Will Cooper:''' The one game you suck at.
:'''Sam Brenner:''' Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Ludlow Lamonsoff:''' ''(voice only)'' Hey, kids! Dad is home!
:''[The camera moves to a crib filled with Q*berts]''

== Taglines ==
* It's time to save the world.
* Game on.
* Play for the planet.
* The Saga has ended
* The Final Battle for The Earth
* Virus Attacks

== Cast ==
* [[Adam Sandler]] as Sam Brenner
** Anthony Ippolito (13 years old)

* [[Kevin James]] as President William Cooper
** Jared Riley as (13 years old)

* {{w|Michelle Monaghan}} as [[w:Lieutenant colonel (United States)|Lieutenant Colonel]] Violet van Patten

* {{w|Peter Dinklage}} as Eddie Plant
** Andrew Bambridge (13 years old)

* {{w|Josh Gad}} as Ludlow Lamonsoff
** Jacob Shinder as (8 years old)

* [[w:Brian Cox (actor)|Brian Cox]] as [[w:Admiral (United States)|Admiral]] Porter

* {{w|Matt Lintz}} as Matty

* {{w|Ashley Benson}} as Lady Lisa

* {{w|Jane Krakowski}} as Jane Cooper

* {{w|Denis Akiyama}} as {{w|Toru Iwatani}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|2120120|Pixels}}

[[Category:2015 films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Animated films based on video games]]
[[Category:Comedy science fiction films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films based on video games]]
[[Category:Films directed by Chris Columbus]]</text>
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    <title>Geoffrey Blainey</title>
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      <comment>/* Quotes */New quote</comment>
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      <text bytes="45120" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Geoffrey Blainey|Geoffrey Norman Blainey]]''', [[w:Order of Australia|AC]], [[w:Australian Academy of the Humanities|FAHA]], [[w:Academy of the Social Sciences in Australia|FASSA]] (born [[11 March]] [[1930]]) is a prominent Australian historian, academic, philanthropist and commentator with a wide international audience. He is noted for having written authoritative texts on the economic and social [[w:history of Australia|history of Australia]], including ''[[w:The Tyranny of Distance: How Distance Shaped Australia's History|The Tyranny of Distance]]''.

== Quotes ==
* Mapmakers of Europe and navigators of the Indies once thought Australian seas washed the isles of gold. Even after navigators had seen the north-west coast of Australia it was named on one map the coast of gold. Unknown coasts were treasurelands; imagination shaped and gilded them. Then slowly Dutch and British voyagers tarnished the gilt, and Australia turned from a land of reward to a land of punishment when Great Britain dumped convicts and guards at Sydney in 1788. The imagination of the ancients had more truth than the knowledge of the moderns, but for two generations the settlers did not know that their prison had bars of gold.
** ''The Rush That Never Ended'' (1963)

* Poland is like an island on the north European plain. At times the island has been swamped by a tide of iron or steel helmets converging from Germany and Russia. At times it has drifted suddenly with the current; if the continent of Africa had drifted relatively as much as the boundaries of Poland have drifted in the last two hundred years, then Africa would at one time have touched the north pole and at another the south pole.
** ''Across a Red World'' (1968)

* The compound of bigness and communism made Soviet Russia very much an ogre in the 1920s and accentuated her isolation from the rest of the world. In turn the Soviet's acute sense of isolation, the sense of living in a perilous world and, above all, the bitter memory of foreign intervention between 1918 and 1920, made her, in self-defence, more authoritarian in her internal policies, and spurred the campaign to regiment and unify her people and fortify her economy, thus conferring on the word 'communism' an additional wrapping of terror. This sense of isolation must have also intensified the Soviet Union's desire to extend her territory and her sphere of influence in eastern Europe, and she seized the opportunity which came at the end of the Second World War.
** ''Across a Red World'' (1968)

* No wars are unintended or 'accidental'. What is often unintended is the length and bloodiness of the war.
** ''The Causes of War'' (1973)

* War and peace are not separate compartments. Peace depends on threats and force; often peace is the crystallisation of past force.
** ''The Causes of War'' (1973)

* It is the problem of accurately measuring the relative power of nations which goes far to explain why wars occur. War is a dispute about the measurement of power. War marks the choice of a new set of weights and measures.
** ''The Causes of War'' (1973)

* The convict era gave Australia a high English and Irish population and a predominance of men, a tendency to disdain authority and resent policemen, and probably a love of leisure and an indifference to religion. The convict era imposed on governments from the outset a high and detailed role in economic and social life. Some of these convict influences were fragile and were quickly erased or reversed by the waves of free immigration; some were reinforced by later events, so that they persist to this day.
** ''A Land Half Won'' (1980)

* The continent had to be discovered emotionally. It had to become a homeland and feel like home. The sense of overpowering space, the isolation, the warmth of summer, the garish light, the shiny-leafed trees, the birds and insects, the smell of air filled with dust, the strange silences, and the landscapes in all their oddness had to become familiar.
** ''A Land Half Won'' (1980)

* I do not accept the view, widely held in the Federal Cabinet, that some kind of slow Asian takeover of Australia is inevitable. I do not believe that we are powerless. I do believe that we can with good will and good sense control our destiny.... As a people, we seem to move from extreme to extreme. In the past 30 years the government of Australia has moved from the extreme of wanting a white Australia to the extreme of saying that we will have an Asian Australia and that the quicker we move towards it the better.
** &quot;The Dilemma of Asian Immigration,&quot; ''[[w:The Age|The Age]]'' (March 20, 1984)

* The argument by white and black Australians that the events of 1788 are primarily to blame for the plight of many Aborigines is far too negative. The solutions which have been proposed - massive land rights, white confessions of guilt and the granting of hereditary privileges to Aborigines - essentially look backwards. Moreover, the solutions are based on a version of history which is much less valid than its exponents believe.
** &quot;Not Because they Are Aborigines, but Because they Are Australians,&quot; ''[[w:The Australian|The Australian]]'' (October 10-11, 1987)

* In a democracy, all voters are equal but not all are responsible. Compulsory voting ignores that elemental truth.
** &quot;The Infantile Custom of Compulsory Voting,&quot; ''[[w:The Australian|The Australian]]'' (February 21, 1990)

* Whether we like the idea or not, war has again and again been seen as the great auditor, the special testing time, of a nation's strength and fibre.
** &quot;Gallipoli: A Battle for a Mammoth Prize,&quot; ''[[w:The Australian|The Australian]]'' (April 24, 1990)

* When traditional Australians argue that Asian migrants should be welcome but that the ethnic mix of the nation should not be altered too quickly, they are labelled racists. But when ethnic minorities lobby politicians to enlist as many new migrants as possible from their own race, this is applauded as multiculturalism.
** &quot;Immigration: Australia's Rag Doll,&quot;, ''[[w:The Australian|The Weekend Australian]]'' (June 2-3, 1990)

* Some historians looking back on our era will probably marvel at the fragile economic arguments used to justify the present migration policy. Even more they will wonder at the self-deception of those who defend the policy largely in the name of ethics and morality.
** &quot;Immigration: Australia's Rag Doll,&quot;, ''[[w:The Australian|The Weekend Australian]]'' (June 2-3, 1990)

* The multicultural lobby has little respect for the history of Australia between 1788 and 1950. In the eyes of multicultural supporters, Australia was a desert between 1788 and 1950 because it was populated largely by people from the British Isles and because it seemed to have a cultural unity, a homogeneity which is the very antithesis of multiculturalism.
** ''Eye on Australia: Speeches and Essays of Geoffrey Blainey'' (1991)

* In economics, as in politics, no national reservoir can stand the strain when everyone is turning on the taps and few are bothering to see that the catchments to the reservoir are working.
** ''Eye on Australia: Speeches and Essays of Geoffrey Blainey'' (1991)

* For the millions of Australians who have no other nation to fall back upon, multiculturalism is almost an insult. It is divisive. It threatens social cohesion. It could, in the long-term, also endanger Australia's military security because it sets up enclaves which in a crisis could appeal to their own homelands for help.
** &quot;Australia: One Nation, or a Cluster of Tribes?&quot;, in ''Our Heritage and Australia's Future: A Selection of Insights and Concerns of Some Prominent Australians'' (1991)

* To some extent my generation was reared on the Three Cheers view of history. This patriotic view of our past had a long run. It saw Australian history as largely a success. While the convict era was a source of shame or unease, nearly everything that came after was believed to be pretty good... There is a rival view, which I call the Black Armband view of history. In recent years it has assailed the optimistic view of Australian history. The black armbands were quietly worn in official circles in 1988, the bicentennial year. Until late in that year [[w:Bob Hawke|Mr Hawke]] rarely gave a speech that awarded much praise to Australia's history. Even notable Labor leaders from the past - Fisher, Hughes, Scullin, Curtin and Chifley - if listening in their graves in 1988, would have heard virtually no mention of their name and their contributions to the nation they faithfully served. Indeed the Hawke Government excised the earlier official slogan, &quot;The Australian Achievement&quot;, replacing it with &quot;Living Together&quot; - a slogan that belongs less to national affairs than to personal affairs. The multicultural folk busily preached their message that until they arrived much of Australian history was a disgrace. The past treatment of Aborigines, of Chinese, of Kanakas, of non-British migrants, of women, the very old, the very young, and the poor was singled out, sometimes legitimately, sometimes not... To some extent the Black Armband view of history might well represent the swing of the pendulum from a position that had been too favourable, too self congratulatory, to an opposite extreme that is even more unreal and decidedly jaundiced.
** &quot;Drawing Up a Balance Sheet of Our History,&quot; ''[[w:Quadrant (magazine)|Quadrant]]'' (July-August 1993)

* In Australia democracy is less in favour in intellectual circles today than 30 years ago. The more emphasis that is placed on the rights of minorities, and the need for affirmative action to enhance those rights, the more is the concept of democracy - and the rights of the majority - in danger of being weakened.
** &quot;Drawing Up a Balance Sheet of Our History,&quot; ''[[w:Quadrant (magazine)|Quadrant]]'' (July-August 1993)

* Anyone who tries to range over the last 200 years of Australia's history, surveying the successes and failures, and trying to understand the obstacles that stood in the way, cannot easily accept the gloomier summaries of that history.
** &quot;Drawing Up a Balance Sheet of Our History,&quot; ''[[w:Quadrant (magazine)|Quadrant]]'' (July-August 1993)

* Those who one-sidedly depict the early European history of Australia are endangering one of the gains of recent years: the willingness to examine the long years of traditional Aboriginal history with sympathy and understanding. Just as the history of European Australia can be denounced from a one-sided point of view, so too can the history of black Australia be depicted by the one-eyed as a story of savagery. To revert to such denunciations would be a loss to all Australians, black and white.
** &quot;Black Future, Reverse Racism: The &quot;Black Armband&quot; View of History is Intent on Dividing the Nation Forever&quot;, ''[[w:The Bulletin|The Bulletin]]'', (April 8, 1997)

* Full-blooded democracy still remains a brave new experiment, the history of ancient Athens notwithstanding. It would be unwise to assume that its victory across the globe is inevitable, for democracy is not always a simple mode of governing. It is almost forgotten that one reason why in this century the world stood three times on the verge of chaos - during two world wars and one world depression - was that the leading democracies were almost as prone to accidents and blunders as were their authoritarian rivals.
** ''In Our Time: The Issues and The People of Our Century'' (1999)

*During their long period of unease about a hot Christmas, Australians rarely noticed that they had more access than their British relatives to a vital part of the traditional Christmas story: 'the stars in the bright sky'. Eventually they ceased to lament that their Christmas came in hot weather.
**''Black Kettle and Full Moon: Daily Life in a Vanished Australia'' (2003)

* The birth of the 20th century was like a flaming sunrise. More was expected of the century than any other. So much had been achieved in the previous one that it seemed sensible to expect that henceforth the world's triumphs would far outweigh the disasters.
** ''A Short History of the Twentieth Century'' (2005)

*The present viewpoint is that Stalin proved to be the most resolute leader, that the Soviet Union exerted undue influence in reshaping the map of postwar Europe, and that a war purportedly begun to defend the independence of small European nations ended up by sacrificing them. The question — did Stalin outwit and outjostle Roosevelt and Churchill — will remain one of the enigmas of the 20th century.
**''A Short History of the Twentieth Century'' (2005)

*The rush of events in the Soviet Union, Germany, eastern Europe and China in the late 1980s and the very early 1990s had no parallel in modern history. During the last thousand years no other formidable empire in a time of comparative peace had been dissolved so quickly, so unexpectedly, as the Soviet Union.
**''A Short History of the Twentieth Century'' (2005)

* Science and technology have a simple and persuasive message: the world's problems are soluble by ingenuity and material innovations; the world's riddles, such as the origins of the universe, can be unravelled by the scientific mind. But while science's achievements have been remarkable, they have not been revolutionary in probing human nature. In some ways the measurable problems analysed by science and technology are more easily dissected than human problems. The moon is more easily explored than the typical mind and heart.
** ''[[w: A Short History of Christianity|A Short History of Christianity]]'' (2011)

* Christianity has both spurred and retarded the sciences and social sciences. Indeed, most of the modern debates of profound significance were originally dialogues with or within Christianity.
** ''[[w: A Short History of Christianity|A Short History of Christianity]]'' (2011)

* Christianity probably has been the most important institution in the world in the last 2000 years. It has achieved more for western civilisation than has any other factor; it has helped far more people than it has harmed.
** ''[[w: A Short History of Christianity|A Short History of Christianity]]'' (2011)

* Could the Aboriginal and the British cultures have been reconciled when they first met? The prevailing view is that they could have signed a treaty and found a way of ­living together in relative ­harmony. I am not persuaded. The two confronting cultures, whether first living side by side at Sydney in 1788 or at Perth in 1829, had little in common except that they were the product of human beings. Their languages and religions differed. Their attitude to marriage, family, property and individual wealth, their economic and political systems, their way of fighting, and their thoughts about life and death, were far apart. In the world today no two cultures are so far apart as those that lived side by side in many Australian regions after 1788. Mecca and Washington today have far more in common than did the paternal ­Governor Phillip and the Aborigines whom he met in Sydney in 1788.
** [https://www.theaustralian.com.au/weekend-australian-magazine/geoffrey-blainey-i-can-see-parts-of-our-history-with-fresh-eyes/news-story/dfbd5d36d5faf1000ec337cc0b87d9bb &quot;Geoffrey Blainey: I can see parts of our history with fresh eyes&quot;], ''The Australian'' (February 21, 2015)

* Some talk of the “history wars” raging in Australia. The word “war” is mistaken. Controversy, not war, will continue for a long time to come. It is in the nature of history and of most intellectual activities, and the more so in a nation where the main strands of history – ­Aboriginal and European – are utterly different.
** [https://www.theaustralian.com.au/weekend-australian-magazine/geoffrey-blainey-i-can-see-parts-of-our-history-with-fresh-eyes/news-story/dfbd5d36d5faf1000ec337cc0b87d9bb &quot;Geoffrey Blainey: I can see parts of our history with fresh eyes&quot;], ''The Australian'' (February 21, 2015)

* Australia became a full-blooded democracy in the late 1850s, achieving it with lightning speed. Only 30 years previously it had consisted of two convict colonies, ruled by governors whose personal power was magnified because most of their subjects were prisoners or ex-prisoners. Moreover, the governors were so remote geographically that Britain’s control of them and their decisions was loose. One year might elapse between the governor writing an urgent dispatch to London, and the arrival of an official reply. And yet, from this prison-like regime, democracy speedily emerged. This was an exceptional outcome.
** [http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/inquirer/after-the-gold-rush-the-colonial-cradle-of-democracy/news-story/5cf7a3bd7dd077c91a282b4a8c0efa65 &quot;After the gold rush, the colonial cradle of democracy&quot;], ''The Australian'' (August 27, 2016)

* Sections of the media, universities and schools exaggerate the bad news [about Australia's past]. This is a powerful ingredient in the present criticism of [[W:Australia Day|Australia Day]]. These critics, putting on their black armbands, now imagine that before 1788 the Aborigines lived in a kind of paradise, from which later they were brutally and deliberately expelled. Aboriginal life did have many virtues, and from the 1950s Australian archeologists, anthropologists, prehistorians and others rediscovered them. The nation owes them a debt. But the extreme concept of a paradise, wholesome and more spiritual than Australia today, has also won converts. They depict Aborigines as living in peace and harmony with one another and with nature. But the evidence, globally, is that these traditional societies suffered through warfare and that little children and women were often the victims. Massacres of Aborigines by Aborigines, however, are unlikely to find their way into the main textbooks. Their extinction of native fauna will rarely interrupt a school lesson.
**[https://theaustralian.com.au/commentary/opinion/australia-day-doubters-misreadour-past/news-story/a4ffd4e49074343a7c24fb1eb120e127 &quot;Australia Day doubters misread our past&quot;], ''The Australian'' (January 25, 2018)

* I continued to admire him as a distinguished exponent of the craft of history writing. By the mid-1980s, I guess our views on certain current-day topics were moving far apart; while we rode comfortably in the same train we got off at different stations.
** On [[W:Manning Clark|Manning Clark]], ''Before I Forget'' (2019)

* [[W:Arthur Calwell|Calwell]] impressed me partly because of his deep affection for his country and his willingness to see the good in other countries, especially the United States, from which his grandfather had emigrated to the Victorian goldfields. The Aboriginal peoples, as Australians, also came within his affection, and he as much as any public figure of that time tried to help them. Forty years on I came to think just as highly of [[W:B.A. Santamaria|B.A. Santamaria]], the leading Catholic intellectual, as I did of Arthur Calwell, though they were bitter enemies. When you admire people you sometimes do so for the person they are, more than the viewpoint they represent.
** ''Before I Forget'' (2019)

* [[W:James Cook|Cook]] was a giant of the sea. To deprive him, his scientists and his crew of high praise would be mean-spirited and would mock history. He was almost certainly the first European to sail along and report on nearly all the eastern coast of Australia. He indirectly made possible present-day Australia which, despite its many failures, is surely one of the success stories of the world. On the other hand, Aboriginal peoples will rightly insist that they, or people close to them in kinship, were the first discoverers of Australia. Their ancestors, one after the other, had sailed and walked along the Indonesian archipelago, a chain of stepping stones that were easily used when the world’s sea levels were lower. In a series of short voyages perhaps spread across several thousand years they bridged the gap between Southeast Asia and Australia. In the early history of the land they discovered and settled they have a proud role.
**[https://theaustralian.com.au/inquirer/an-epic-endeavour-a-vexed-debate-about-captain-cook-voyage/news-story/9b5eabbf7d03130377d6e316a49f94ff &quot;An epic Endeavour, a vexed debate about Captain Cook voyage&quot;], ''The Australian'' (January 24, 2020)

* The essence of studying history is that, as best we can, we try to wear the shoes and put on the spectacles worn by people of the past. We try to see the obstacles and dilemmas they struggled against or evaded. We also hope that the future will try to understand why we made blunders, and learn from failures and achievements of our era.
**[https://www.theaustralian.com.au/commentary/no-point-in-ignoring-facts-and-history/news-story/aaf4faf43dfb6c31bcecb635fba09e2c &quot;No point in ignoring facts and history&quot;], ''The Australian'' (June 14, 2020)

* The Latin language is no longer read widely, and so we have lost sight of the old distinction between the real ''Terra Australis'' or Australia on the one hand, and the unknown continent called ''Terra Australis Incognita'' on the other. That distinction, however, was real to scientists and geographers living in the eighteenth century. They knew of one southern continent, now known as Australia, but then called New Holland by the Dutch and even by the English. But somewhere, out in the vastness of the Pacific Ocean, lay another and richer continent, which, they believed, was waiting to be found.
** ''Captain Cook's Epic Voyage'' (2020)

* One of the most remarkable voyagers in the long history of the seas, he [James Cook] deserves far more praise than blame. Contrary to the common belief, he admired the Aborigines and facets of their traditional way of life. Above all he grasped this continent and began unknowingly the work of knitting it again to the outside world. On the whole the outside world has gained because of his epic voyage. The settlers who arrived after him eventually made this land so productive that it is capable, almost annually, of feeding tens of millions of people in foreign lands as well as all those in Australia. Here flourishes a democratic society which offers freedom in a world where freedom is not — and never was — the right of most people.
** ''Captain Cook's Epic Voyage'' (2020)

=== ''[[w:The Tyranny of Distance: How Distance Shaped Australia's History|The Tyranny of Distance: How Distance Shaped Australia's History]]'' (1966) ===
* ... jostling and jockeying [between England and France] was a vital background to the decision of the English government to send a fleet to occupy Botany Bay. In some ways the decision was made for the far future. For the short term it was simply vital that France should not be allowed to occupy such a strategic site.

* Australia's distance from Europe was probably only tolerable because it had strategic commodities which England, threatened by changing European alliances, might some day be unable to produce in the northern hemisphere. Flax was the first conqueror - a hollow conqueror - of the distance which so often shaped Australia's destiny.

* A sure supply of flax, wrote [[w:Thomas Townshend, 1st Viscount Sydney|Lord Sydney]], 'would be of great consequence to us as a naval power'. At the same time the tall trees which grew to the water's edge in New Zealand and in islands near Australia would yield masts of unparalleled size and quality for the British fleets in India. Australia would thus be 'reciprocally beneficial' both to English gaols and to English seapower. Thus Lord Sydney affirmed the traditional principle that England expected more gains than the simple pleasure of ridding her soil of criminals. Australia then was not designed simply as a remote gaol, cut off from the world's commerce. It was to supply strategic materials.

* Australia's place on new trade routes was decisive in its early history. It aided the convict settlement. It prompted the rise of a new free group of Australian traders who did not depend heavily on the favours of governors, who were alert for new ways of making money, and who were eventually to hasten Australia's transition from a gaol to a series of free colonies.

* The convict system in essence was a form of compulsory, assisted migration. It eased the problems created by Australia's distance from Britain. Without it relatively few people from the British Isles would have made the costly journey across the world in Australia's first half century.

* The value of subsidised migration was not simply in the working men it brought to Australia. Its value was also in the women it enticed to a man's land. One of Australia's sharpest social problems, and one of the problems which Edward Gibbon Wakefield lamented, was the scarcity of women of marriageable or elopable age. So long as Australia primarily served as a gaol for the British Isles, far more men than women came to the land.'''

* Australia and New Zealand depended so much on Britain, were in most senses imitations of Britain, that their geographical position near the end of Asia's tail and near the islands of Oceania seemed irrelevant.

* In December 1941, when Australians began to sense that they were plunged into a new environment, the spectacles they had carried out from Britain were obsolete. They needed spectacles that would correct short-sightedness. They had to see the environment they were in as clearly as the environment they had left across the world.

* Much of Australia's history had been shaped by the contradiction that it depended intimately and comprehensively on a country which was further away that almost any other in the world. Now the dependence had slackened, the distance had diminished. The Antipodes were drifting, though where they were drifting no one knew.

=== ''All for Australia'' (1984) ===
* Every nation has the right to control its own immigration. To shape sensibly an immigration policy is to influence nearly every facet of life, now and for generations to come.

* A policy on immigration helps to determine the unity as well as the size of the population. Should Australia so select its immigrants that the society is relatively unified? Or should it select immigrants who promote diversity? Should Australia continue to be dominated by Anglo-Celtic peoples and the English language and institutions? Or should it become the new Eurasia? In choosing immigrants and the pace at which they arrive, how far should we risk social and racial tensions?

* Democracy is not like a long-term loan of property to be entrusted by the people to the government and its small group of advisors. And yet in recent years a small group of people has successfully snatched immigration policy from the public arena, and has even placed a taboo on the discussion of vital aspects of immigration.

* Our immigration policy is increasingly based on an appeal to international precepts that our neighbours sensibly refuse to practise. We are surrendering much of our own independence to a phantom opinion that floats vaguely in the air and rarely exists on this earth. We should think very carefully about the perils of converting Australia into a giant multicultural laboratory for the assumed benefit of the peoples of the world.

* An immigration policy in any country is based more or less on discrimination. A minister of immigration is a minister of discrimination. If he isn't, he is not carrying out his responsibilities.

*On the immigration issue the suspicions towards democracy and the distrust towards free speech have come largely from the Left. The distrust of free speech has been especially noticeable amongst a small scatter of academics, members of a profession that by its very nature depends on freedom of inquiry and speech.

*The majority of Australians are now paying the price of a policy that is eager to please each ethnic minority at the expense of the great majority. If the people of each minority should have the right to establish here a way of life familiar to them, is it not equally right - or more so, in democracy - for the majority of Australians to retain the way of life familiar to them?

*Whereas the old White Australia Policy, in its extreme form, kept out all Asians, the new policy could be moving towards the opposite extreme. In calling for a strong, long-term flow of Third World migrants, it foreshadows the sacrificing of vital Australian interests on behalf of vague international creeds. It is also forsaking out historical experience for the sake of a nimble dream.

* Again and again Australia is depicted as a bonanza - ready made - that was snatched from the Aboriginals. But the Australia of the Aboriginals, distinctive as were its achievements, was not a bonanza. Generations of Australians since 1788 have developed this land and its resources, applying sweat and grit and ingenuity. Asian immigrants had the opportunity to come, several hundred years ago, but they had no incentive to come. Australia then was not worth colonizing.

* Immigration is everyone's business: it is one of the most important national issues. The idea that it is too dangerous to be debated is a mockery of democracy. It is too important not to debate.

* The ethnic composition of the population - and the particular mixture of nationalities, languages and cultures - is a matter of importance to all nations. The selection of immigrants should not be seen primarily as a test of which nationalities are best. It is more important to select immigrants with an eye to the collective effect on the nation. An immigration policy is not a symbol, a banner, of a nation's attitude to other peoples or races; and to reject potential immigrants is in no way to doubt the worthiness of their nationality or culture.

* The multicultural policy has, at times, tended to emphasize the rights of ethnic minorities at the expense of the majority of Australians, thus unnecessarily encouraging divisions and weakening social cohesion. It has tended to be anti-British, and yet the people from the United Kingdom and Ireland form the dominant class of pre-war immigrants and the largest single group of post-war immigrants.

* Recent governments emphasize the merits of a multicultural society and ignore the dangers. And yet the evidence is clear that many multicultural societies have failed and that the human cost of the failure has been high.

* There are dangers in the increasing belief that toleration can simply be imposed on people by a variety of new laws and by a bureaucracy specializing in ethnic affairs, cultural relations and human rights. Unfortunately, the laws and regulatory bodies, introduced in the hope of promoting toleration, can be invoked to attack freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and those principles on which minority rights must, in the last resort, depend. A sensible humane immigration policy is more likely than most of these new agencies and laws - present or proposed - to maintain and foster racial toleration.

* People need to feel they belong to their country. Their need for community is most pronounced in a time of adversity. The people who are hit hardest by a depression, who feel that their children will suffer, look for loyalty from the rest of the community and the government. The present immigration programme, in its indifference to the feelings of the old Australians, erodes those loyalties. The multicultural policy, and its emphasis on what is different and on the rights of the new minority rather than the old majority, gnaws at that sense of solidarity that many people crave for.

* A nation is drawn together by loyalties and obligations, and in a depression or war those bonds are vital. [[w:Henry Parkes|Sir Henry Parkes]], a father of the Commonwealth of Australia, said in 1890: 'The crimson thread of kinship runs through us all.' That crimson thread is vital for any nation, but in the last six years there has been a growing concern at the way in which Australian governments, perhaps with lofty aims, have cut the crimson threads. The cult of the immigrant, the emphasis on separateness for ethnic groups, the wooing of Asia and the shunning of Britain are part of this thread-cutting.

* Australia will have to find ways of impressing on Asia and the rest of the world that much of its territory is arid. To sell Australia successfully is not only to sell its products and its tourism, but also sell to other nations the fact that much of its territory is desert and can support few people.

=== ''The Great Seesaw: A New View of the Western World, 1750-2000'' (1988) ===
* The First World War shook the scaffolding of progress because it was deadly and unexpectedly long: it showed that technology could be two-faced. The war delivered one other insidious attack on the idea of progress by raising a moral question which the believers in progress had taken for granted: had the morality of Europeans improved during the long era of 'progress'?

* One lesson of history is that every gain has its potential loss. The highest human achievements carry the danger of pride, and pride can lead blindly to disaster, just as failure can fortify the determination and so lead slowly towards triumph.

* The slow decline of Christianity prepared the way for new Utopias and doomsdays. Indeed some of the new views of the future contained many of the characteristics of a religion.

* If we disown history we are at its mercy. To have a reasonable knowledge of the past is to possess an anchor which is likely to prevent us from being swept towards false ideas about the present and future.

* Democracy is a freak condition in the world's history: civil liberties are not common liberties even today, and most people in the world have never possessed them.

=== ''A Shorter History of Australia'' (1994) ===
* The eclipse of the Aborigines was tragic. Could it have been averted? It could have been prevented for a time if no British settlers had landed, but eventually people of other European or Asian nations would have come and occupied much of the land.

* The shrinking world was becoming too small to permit a whole people to be set aside in a vast protected anthropological museum where they would try to perpetuate the merits and defects of a way of life that had vanished elsewhere, a way of life that - so long as it continued - would deprive millions of foreign people of the food and fibres that could have been grown on the land.

* Even in the 1860s and 1870s most Australians did not feel fully at home in their land. So many of them were new migrants, mostly from the British cities, and so they found rural Australia strange and even hostile at first. Above all, in the long European see-saw of ideas and taste, the wilderness and untamed nature were falling somewhat from favour; to be revived late in the century. Attitudes to Australian landscape reflected this see-saw.

* There is a delicate balance between shielding people and encouraging them, and the USA perhaps went too far in one direction and Australia in the other. The Soviet Union, born in 1917 and influenced a little by the exciting Australian and New Zealand experiments, would eventually show how the umbrella, if too big and cumbersome, exposed people far more than it protected them.

* The history of Australia, black or white, is not only the struggle between peoples but the struggle between nature and people. Nature tamed many of the settlers, sometimes defeating them, but people held many victories, sometimes at high cost.

* The decline of the churches was a sweeping social revolution, because they had done more than any other institution, public or private, to civilise Australians.

=== ''[[w:A Short History of the World (Geoffrey Blainey)|A Short History of the World]]'' (2000) ===
* It is remarkable that India became a democracy in modern times, because the long-lasting Hindu civilisation at first sight was innately hostile to the ideas that all adults should have an equal vote, irrespective of their caste, and that all adults should be able to share in the social mobility which was part of the democratic spirit. But to graft exotic new trees onto old, when there seemed little hope of success, and to watch them grow vigorously, is not a rare experience in human institutions.

* Looking back on Rome's success, it is all too easy to conclude that its victories were preordained. It is almost as if Rome arose with consummate certainty from the seven hills, gaining such a height that seemingly it could not be challenged. But in almost every phase of Rome's history there were crises.

* Unpredictable events, or the coincidence of vital events happening side by side, play their part in history. In the emerging of the United States of America, the South American nations, South Africa, Canada and Australia the unforeseen mixture of events was especially powerful in the final decades of the 18th century. Many of those events pirouetted around the fortunes of France, whose influence was as decisive when it was losing as when it was winning wars.

* The power of the United States depended heavily on its pale empire of ideas, attitudes and innovations. Its ideas alighted effortlessly on foreign ground, irrespective of who owned the ground. Much of its influence came from such innovations as the telephone, electricity, aircraft and the cheap car, nuclear weapons and spacecraft, computers and the Internet. Its influence came through jazz, cartoons, Hollywood, television and popular culture. Its influence came from an excitement about technology and economic change, and a belief in incentives and individual enterprise. It was also the most ardent missionary for the creed of democracy. While military and economic might was vital to the success of the United States, the power of its pale empire of ideas was probably even more pervasive.

* The global role of the United States is perhaps the ultimate chapter in that long period of European expansion which had begun in western Europe, and especially on the Atlantic seaboard, during the 15th century. Europe slowly had outgrown its homeland. Its cultural empire eventually formed a long band traversing most of the Northern Hemisphere and dipping far into the Southern. The modern hub of the peoples and ideas of European origin is now New York as much as Paris, or Los Angeles as much as London. In the history of the European peoples the city of Washington is perhaps what Constantinople - the infant city of Emperor Constantine - was to the last phase of the Roman Empire; for it is unlikely that Europeans, a century hence, will continue to stamp the world so decisively with their ideas and inventions.

* Within the next two centuries, as the world shrinks and its distances are diminished, an attempt could well be made, by consent or by force, to set up a world government. Whether it will last for long is an open question. In human history, almost nothing is preordained.

=== ''The Story of Australia's People: The Rise and Fall of Ancient Australia'' (2015) ===

* We have long believed that during the time of the Aborigines' domination their landscape did not change. At times it changed dramatically. The basalt plains of that part of Victoria, which was later named Australia Felix, were violently affected by volcanoes. For most of the people living close to the ocean - and for some who had never seen it - a more shattering change was the rising of the sea and the drowning of their hunting grounds. Nothing in the short history of British Australia can match those physical changes.

* Nothing in the traditional life of Aborigines was more impressive than their practical knowledge. They were masters of their environment even though they could do little to change it.

* For ages the Aborigines had relied heavily on isolation. It was their asset and their liability, and gave them long-term control of the continent. But if their isolation were to end, as it ultimately had to end with a shrinking world, their whole way of life could be fractured. Even the arrival of a few thousand permanent settlers, whether from Europe or Asia, would be like the first tremors of an earthquake.

* Whereas for thousands of years there was some prospect that the economic and social life of the Aborigines would be reshaped by the entry of immigrants from the Indonesian archipelago or New Guinea, the real reshaping was to be drastic. Whereas gardening could be grafted onto a semi-nomadic life, the economic activities and energies of England of 1800 would shatter the social and economic customs of the Aborigines. 

* Many convicts were bewildered by the first days of the voyage to Australia. Most had never seen the open sea until they boarded the convict ship, and few had travelled in a ship. And now, by sentence of the courts, they were about to begin one of the longest voyages any traveller could make.

* When in Hobart in May 1853 the ship ''St Vincent'' sent ashore the last consignment of convicts, Tasmania had received almost as many convicts as New South Wales during the long history of transportation. Western Australia now remained the only penal colony and it received its last convict ship on 9 January 1868. For eighty years convicts had been shipped to Australia, and a total of 163000 had set out on that voyage from which few returned. In the modern history of Europe there was rarely a planned deportation on a more ambitious scale until the era of Stalin and Hitler.

=== ''The Story of Australia's People: The Rise and Rise of a New Australia'' (2016) ===

* Most Australians did not love a sunburnt country. Farmers preferred a reliable rainfall; bank managers and city merchants preferred to deal with customers living in towns where the economy did not suffer from drought. The governors, who came from the British Isles, still retreated in summer to the cool hill towns - to Sutton Forest and Mount Macedon and the Mount Lofty Ranges and other colonial Simlas.

* The birth of a nation called for many fathers, none of whom could be pre-eminent, and when [[w:Sir Henry Parkes|Parkes]] died the federation was only a balloon floating beckoningly in the air.

* If, on the eve of the [[w:World War I|war]], a fortune teller had pointed to all the Australian men between the ages of 20 and 30, and had predicted that a number equal to 60 per cent of that age group would be killed or permanently disabled in the coming war, she would have been ridiculed but she would have been correct.

* The idea is still widespread that Australians were among the world's most persistent racists until the White Australia policy was abolished. But in 1900, and long after, almost every part of the Western world was wary of large-scale immigration from poorer, low-wage countries whose reigning culture was different. Asians at times were wary of outsiders. Between 1860 and 1914 it was safer to be a Chinese gold-digger living in Australia than to be an Australian, especially a female missionary, living in China.

* Perhaps no Australian politician, to this day, has made such a mark for so long on the global stage as [[w:Billy Hughes|Hughes]] achieved in the first half of 1919.

* Innovation is usually not a gigantic step but a series of small jumps involving various enterprising people whose names are soon forgotten.

* [[w:Robert Menzies|Menzies]] was the first - and maybe the only - national leader of whom it could be safely said that he was capable of rising to the top of almost any ladder he dared to climb.

* One Australian tradition is to cut down the elite and the successful. It had its roots in the era of convicts who naturally opposed those in authority. This levelling or egalitarian tradition continued to flourish on the goldfields in the 1850s when the unusual mining laws gave everyone an opportunity to find gold, and the tradition was accentuated around 1900 by the rising trade unions. The attitude was one of the spurs to Australian democracy.

* A few important Muslim leaders regretted that Australian society, as they experienced it, defied their beliefs and preachings. In their eyes it was decadent and irreligious. And yet one century earlier, a host of Australian churchgoers would have agreed with the mainstream Muslim suspicion of alcohol, drugs, pornography, party-going, scantily clad women, blasphemous language, suicide, homosexuality and the Sabbath. It was the Christians who, in the following four generations, relaxed their views on these social questions. They became more tolerant at a time when sections of Islam were becoming less tolerant.

== External links ==
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    <title>Over the Garden Wall</title>
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'''''[[w:Over the Garden Wall (miniseries)|Over the Garden Wall]]''''' (2014) is an Emmy Award-winning animated television miniseries created by [[w:Patrick McHale (artist)|Patrick McHale]] for Cartoon Network. The series centers on two half-brothers who travel across a strange forest in order to find their way home, encountering odd and wonderful things on their journey.
=== ''The Old Grist Mill'' [1] ===
:'''Narrator''': Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history lies a place that few have seen—a mysterious place called the Unknown, where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Wirt''': ''[sees Woodsman off]'' Shoot. Y-you think we should've asked him for help? ''[Greg shrugs]''
:'''Bird''': Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right? ''[Wirt gasps, slaps his face]''
:'''Wirt''': What in the world is going on?
:'''Gregory''': Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and—
:'''Wirt''': No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
:'''Bird''': Hey, what was that?
:'''Wirt''': I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're-you're weird. Like, not normal. I-I mean... oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt.
:'''Bird''': ''It''?
:'''Wirt''': Uh, I-I-I'm—
:'''Woodsman''': ''[appears suddenly]'' What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!
:'''Bird''': ''[flies off]'' Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.
:'''Wirt''': Calm, calm down, mister! Wh-whatever you do here is your business! W-w-we just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!
:'''Woodsman''': These woods are no place for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?!
:'''Wirt''': The Beast? W-w-we-we-we don't know anything about that! W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home!
:'''Woodsman''': Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Woodsman''': The mill is destroyed... the oil! All gone!
:'''Wirt''': But look! We, w-we got the beast problem solved. [points at the dog]
:''Woodsman'': That dog?! That is NOT the Beast! The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night. He sings like the Four Winds. He is the Death of Hope! He steals their children and he'll... ruin... [mumbles]
:'''Wirt''': You're always messing up, Greg.
:'''Woodsman''': Boy! You have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you and your brother's actions!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee'' [2] ===
:''[Greg finds the talking female bird trapped in bramble in a bush]''
:'''Beatrice''': Oh, it's you again. I'm stuck. Help me out of here, and I'll owe you a favor.
:'''Greg''': Whoa! I get a wish?
:'''Beatrice''': No, no. no. Not a wish. I'm not magical. I'll just do you a good turn.
:'''Greg''': Can you turn me into a tiger?
:'''Beatrice''': Um, no. I just said I'm not magical.
:'''Greg''': It doesn't have to be a magical tiger.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Beatrice''': You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?
:'''Wirt''': So it's some kind of weird cult they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing. They seem nice enough.
:'''Beatrice''': Okay, you're in denial. That's fine. But I'm just saying, something feels off about this place.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Wirt and Greg are confronted by the large sentient pumpkin called Enoch]''
:'''Enoch''': Now, let's see here, boys. How'd you end up in this little town of ours?
:'''Wirt''': Well, we were trying to get home. We came into town from the woods. Uh, we saw your farms and your houses and thought, &quot;Hey! Here's a normal place with normal people.&quot;
:'''Greg''': And we both stepped on pumpkins!
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, a-and then we heard the music from the barn, and, well, uh... H-how about we just leave?
:'''Enoch''': Now let me get this straight. You come to our town, you trample our crops, you interrupt our private engagement... and now you want to leave?
:'''Wirt''': ''[nervously]'' Uh... yes.
:'''Greg''': You'll never convict! You have no proof! ''[the Elder Pumpkin holds Beatrice in his straw hands]''
:'''Elder Pumpkin''': This one's trying to escape!
:'''Beatrice''': Let me go! I don't know these clowns!
:'''Enoch''': Children, it saddens me that you don't wish to stay here with us, particularly because I simply ''have to punish you'' for your transgressions.
:'''Beatrice''': I told you this place was bad news!
:'''Enoch''': So by order of the Pottsfield chamber of commerce, I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, ''[lowers itself down to approach Wirt and Greg closely]'' disturbing the peace, ''[darkly]'' and '''''murder'''''.
:'''Wirt''': ''[shocked]'' Murder?! 
:'''Enoch''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, no, not murder. But for those other crimes, I sentence you to... a few hours of manual labor.
:'''Wirt''': ''[surprised]'' Wait, wait? Really? That's it?

=== ''Schooltown Follies''  [3] ===
:'''Greg''': [singing]  Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
If you want some, oh, just ask us&lt;br /&gt;
They're warm and soft like puppies in socks&lt;br /&gt;
Filled with cream and candy rocks&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
They're so much sweeter than algebra class&lt;br /&gt;
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts a-mumblin'&lt;br /&gt;
There is only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses&lt;br /&gt;
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge&lt;br /&gt;
You know you've eaten enough when you start seeing stars&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
It's the only thing left on your task list&lt;br /&gt;
They're short and stout, they'll make everyone shout &lt;br /&gt;
For, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
For, potatoes and--&lt;br /&gt;

:'''Mis. Langtree''': [bursting into the room] That's enough!

=== ''Songs of the Dark Lantern'' [4] ===
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Well, hey there Peach Pot. Whatcha doing around--hey, what's that bird  you got there?
:'''Wirt''': It's a--
:'''Beatrice''': I am Beatrice! These two sweet kids and I got a bit lost in the--
[The tavern keeper knocks the broom and Beatrice yells out and groans]
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': No birds allowed in my tavern!
:'''Beatrice''': No birds allowed in your--
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': It's a bad omen when a bluebird enters through your door. It's bad luck!
:'''Beatrice''': Lady, bluebirds are good luck! We bring joy and happiness to the--[screams] 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Good luck, bad luck--I don't need any of it! 
:'''Beatrice''': Curse you, lady! Curse you! You'll die someday, and I'll laugh--laugh! Ha Ha Ha!

[Wirt is knocked the broom and groans]
:'''Beatrice''': Forget this. I'm out of here. Wirt, you get directions. 
:'''Wirt''': W-wait, No. I don't want to--
:'''Beatrice''': Just do it! 

:'''Wirt''': Wait, wait, wait! Lantern? The Woodsman was the guy with the weird lantern, not the Beast. 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Pilgrim, He who carries the Dark Lantern must be the Beast.
:'''Wirt''': What? No, The Woodsman's a good guy. He warned us of the Beast and told us which direction to go to avoid him. 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': And now you're more lost than ever, huh?
:'''Wirt''': Oh... yeah--hey, can you give us some directions? Our friend Beatrice is trying to take us to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods. She can help us get home.

:'''Fred (the horse)''': Nice to horse your acquaintance!
:'''Beatrice''': You can talk?

=== ''Mad Love'' [5] ===
:'''Wirt''': Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew?
:'''Beatrice''': We need money.
:'''Wirt''': You're scamming him?
:'''Beatrice''': I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
:'''Wirt''': What? No way.
:'''Beatrice''': Why not? We already stole a horse.
:'''Fred''': Hey, guys.
:'''Wirt''':  No, we didn't. Fred's a talking horse. He can do whatever he wants.
:'''Fred''': I want to steal.

:'''Wirt''': But, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
:'''Beatrice''': Mmm-hmm.
:'''Wirt''': That's all.
:'''Beatrice''': That's all? 
:'''Wirt''': And I think about her lot, and I play clarinet.
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt! You've got to be kidding me.
:'''Wirt''': And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, That stuff's not weird. Those are just--[sighs]--well, the poetry thing is weird.

=== ''Lullaby in Frogland'' [6] ===
:'''Greg''': [singing] Oh, we're going to the Pasture to meet Adelaide and ask her if she has a way to send us back where we came from.
I don't know who she is or how she is or when, what, why she is.
:'''Wirt''': [singing] But as for where she is, she is where we will go. 
:'''Both''': To Adelaide, to Adelaide. C'mon and join the Adelaide Parade. Adelaide, To Adelaide. We're going to Adelaide's house today.
[Wirt starts laughing and sighs]
:'''Wirt''': Boy. Finally going home. 

:'''Greg''': Wirt, drum me!
:'''Wirt''': Okay.
[Wirt bangs on the drum and Greg groans]
:'''Greg''': [open his eyes] Are we good?
:'''Wirt''': [breathes deeply] I think so. 
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, sometimes you have to face your problems. Turn yourself in and get kicked off this boat.

:'''Wirt''': Oh no. Beatrice, I'm too young to go to frog jail. [Whimpers]
:'''Greg''': Hey, why don't you play the bassoon?
:'''Wirt''': That'll get us kicked off this boat for sure.
:'''Beatrice''': [Gasps in shock] No, Greg's right. You should play it. Go ahead. You'll do fine. You play instruments, right?
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, but bassoon and clarinet are way different.

:'''Beatrice''': Adelaide, we need to talk.
:'''Adelaide''': Did you bring me what I asked for?
:'''Beatrice''': I found two brothers lost in the woods, but I can't give them to you, Adelaide. They need to go home.
:'''Adelaide''': Nonsense! I'll give them a wonderful home here.
:'''Beatrice''': That's what you said, but--
:'''Adelaide''': Can't you see I'm sick and helpless? [Imitating coughing] Ah-choo! I'm all alone in the world. I want a child servant.
:'''Beatrice''': Servant? I thought you just wanted some yard work done.
:'''Adelaide''': Our arrangement was for you to bring me a child servant and then I give you the scissors... To snip, snip, snip your family's wings away to make them human again. 
:'''Beatrice''': What if I became your servant?
:'''Adelaide''': Ha! I need a big strong child!
:'''Beatrice''': You can turn me into a human, can you?
:'''Adelaide''': Oh yes--scissors!
:'''Beatrice''': Yeah. yeah. So give me the scissors. I'll go help my family. [Gasps] Wirt!
:'''Adelaide''': Close the door! I'll catch my death of cold!
:'''Wirt''': What's going on?

:'''Wirt''': All along, you've been leading us to this crazy lady?
:'''Adelaide''': I do as he commands--the voice of the night, the Beast of eternal darkness.
[Beatrice open the window and the wind air blew out]
:'''Adelaide''': What are you doing? Ohh!

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt? Greg?
[Beatrice coughs and ran out of the door]
:'''Beatrice''': Greg! Wirt! It wasn't what it looks like! I was just--[starts to cry]--please come back! Oh. 
[Beatrice begins to sob]
:'''Wirt''': Hmm.
:'''Greg''': Wirt, what about Beatrice?
:'''Wirt''': Hmm, I shouldn't trusted anyone.

=== ''The Ringing of the Bell'' [7] ===
:'''Gregory''': Wow, Wirt! You saved the day twice today!
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, I guess. But so what? We're still not any closer to getting home. I just don't know what I'm doing out here anymore. I don't know if we'll ever get back home.
:'''Gregory''': Sure we will! What can stop us? You got a plan, remember?
:'''Wirt''': I lied.
:'''Gregory''': Aw, come on! Let's go, captain! Lead the way! You can do it! ''[Wirt sighs; the Beast watches them]''
:'''Beast''': Yes, yes. All hope will soon be lost. ''[turns to the Woodsman]'' We're lucky the boy had the plot to best you. Your play could have cost us both. Don't you care about keeping the lantern lit? Don't you care about your daughter's soul?
:'''Woodsman''': One cannot trade the souls of children as if they were tokens! There has to be another way.
:'''Beast''': No. There is only me. There is only my way. There is only the forest, and there is only surrender.

=== ''Babes in the Wood'' [8] ===
:'''Cloud City Reception Comitee''': So, what brings you to Cloud City?
:'''Greg''': Well, I'm supposed to be a leader, but I don't know how.
:'''Cloud City Reception Comitee''': Why don't you lead our band in a song?
:'''Greg''': Okay.

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt!
:'''Greg''': Wirt! Wirt?
:'''Wirt''': Greg?
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, are you okay? Wirt!
:'''Wirt''': Greg? I-I-I--
:'''Beatrice''': Where's Greg, Wirt? 
:'''Wirt''': Beatrice? [Breathing and groans]
:'''Beatrice''': [calling] Wirt. Wirt!

=== ''Into the Unknown'' [9] ===
:'''Greg''': Hey, Wirt, whatcha doing?
:'''Wirt''': Nothing. 
:'''Greg''': I was helping old lady Daniels rake some leaves in exchange for candy.
:'''Wirt''': Greg, it's Halloween. Candy is free. 

:'''Kathleen''': Oh, look at you. What are you supposed to be?
:'''Greg''': It's an elephant costume. [Starts trumpeting] Phbt! See my trunk?

:'''Sara''': Uh... you can let  go of my hand now. 
:'''Jason Funderberker''': Oh... yeah.
:'''Kid''': You could hold my hand, Funderberker. I don't care.
[Greg begins to howl and spinning around]
:'''Kid''': Hey, isn't that Wirt's little brother?
:'''Greg''': No. I'm the headless elephant. [Starts to trumpeting]
[The kids begin to laugh]

=== ''The Unknown'' [10] ===
:'''Beast''': Did you fetch for me the Golden Comb?
:'''Greg''': Will that work? 
:'''Beast''': This is a honeycomb.
:'''Greg''': Golden comb of honey. [Giggles]
:'''Beatrice''': Greg! Oh! [Whimpers] Oh! [Howls] Greg!
:'''Greg''': Huh?
:'''Beast''': Never mind that, Gregory. You've brought me the first two items--a golden comb and a spoon of silver thread.

:'''Wirt''': What the... Beatrice?
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt!
:'''Wirt''': Beatrice! What are you doing out there? 
:'''Beatrice''': I saw Greg!
:'''Wirt''': What?
:'''Beatrice''': I saw Greg. He was w-with someone.

:'''Wirt''': Wait. that's dumb.
:'''Beast''': What?
:'''Wirt''': That's dumb. I'm not just gonna just wander around in the woods for the rest of my life.
:'''Beast''': I'm trying to help you. 
:'''Wirt''': You're not trying to help me. You just have some weird obsession with keeping this lantern lit. It's almost like your soul is in this lantern.
[The Beast goes into a rage over a terrified Wirt]
:'''Beast''': '''Are you ready to see true darkness?'''
[Wirt, still terrified, but being courageous stands up and opens the lantern cap]
:'''Wirt''': [Scared in a small squeaky voice] Are y-[Clears his throat, becoming serious] Are you?
[Wirt blows on the flame of the Lantern]
:'''Beast''': [Panicked] DON'T!!! ''DON'T!!!!''
[Wirt scoffs, as this proves his point. The Woodsman realizes in heartbreak that this proves the Beast was lying to him about his daughter all along]

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt...
:'''Wirt''': Come with us.
:'''Beatrice''': I--I got to go home, too, admit to my family it's my fault they're bluebirds.
[Wirt clears throat and holds out the scissors]
:'''Beatrice''': What?
:'''Wirt''': The scissors that'll make your family human again.
:'''Beatrice''': You had them all along!
:'''Wirt''': I-I used them to escape Adelaide, and then--then... yeah, I-I was sort of mad at you.
:'''Beatrice''': [tearfully] Oh, you... wonderful mistake of nature!
:'''Beast''': You see, Woodsman? All who perish here will become trees for the lantern. Cut them down with your ax. Go! Now!
:'''Woodsman''': NO!! [He swings the lantern showing the beast in full color for a fraction of a second. The Woodsman opens the latern]
:'''Beast''': STOP! You'll never see your daughter again Woodsman! Are you really ready to go back to that empty house? [The Woodsman sheds a tear as he realizes this might be true, then angrily raises the lantern and inhales] '''NO! WOODSMAN!!!''' [The Woodsman blows out the lantern, killing the beast]

:'''Beatrice''': [singing] One is a bird Two are the trees Three is the wind of the leaves Four are the stars Five with the moon

:'''Wirt''': Our frog.
:'''Greg''': Our frog!
:'''Jason Funderberker''': Our frog?

== Cast ==
* [[Elijah Wood]] - Wirt
* [[w:Collin Dean|Collin Dean]] - Gregory (Greg)
* [[w:Melanie Lynskey|Melanie Lynskey]] - Beatrice
* [[Christopher Lloyd]] - The Woodsman
* [[w:Jack Jones|Jack Jones]] - Greg's Frog
* [[w:Samuel Ramey|Samuel Ramey]] – The Beast

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
http://over-the-garden-wall.wikia.com/wiki/Transcript
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American black comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American comedy-drama TV shows]]
[[Category:American TV miniseries]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated horror TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated mystery TV shows]]
[[Category:Package films]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network Studios]]</text>
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      <id>3154835</id>
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      <comment>/* Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee [2] */ minor quick fix</comment>
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'''''[[w:Over the Garden Wall (miniseries)|Over the Garden Wall]]''''' (2014) is an Emmy Award-winning animated television miniseries created by [[w:Patrick McHale (artist)|Patrick McHale]] for Cartoon Network. The series centers on two half-brothers who travel across a strange forest in order to find their way home, encountering odd and wonderful things on their journey.
=== ''The Old Grist Mill'' [1] ===
:'''Narrator''': Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history lies a place that few have seen—a mysterious place called the Unknown, where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Wirt''': ''[sees Woodsman off]'' Shoot. Y-you think we should've asked him for help? ''[Greg shrugs]''
:'''Bird''': Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right? ''[Wirt gasps, slaps his face]''
:'''Wirt''': What in the world is going on?
:'''Gregory''': Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and—
:'''Wirt''': No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
:'''Bird''': Hey, what was that?
:'''Wirt''': I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're-you're weird. Like, not normal. I-I mean... oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt.
:'''Bird''': ''It''?
:'''Wirt''': Uh, I-I-I'm—
:'''Woodsman''': ''[appears suddenly]'' What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!
:'''Bird''': ''[flies off]'' Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.
:'''Wirt''': Calm, calm down, mister! Wh-whatever you do here is your business! W-w-we just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!
:'''Woodsman''': These woods are no place for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?!
:'''Wirt''': The Beast? W-w-we-we-we don't know anything about that! W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home!
:'''Woodsman''': Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Woodsman''': The mill is destroyed... the oil! All gone!
:'''Wirt''': But look! We, w-we got the beast problem solved. [points at the dog]
:''Woodsman'': That dog?! That is NOT the Beast! The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night. He sings like the Four Winds. He is the Death of Hope! He steals their children and he'll... ruin... [mumbles]
:'''Wirt''': You're always messing up, Greg.
:'''Woodsman''': Boy! You have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you and your brother's actions!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee'' [2] ===
:''[Greg finds the talking female bird trapped in bramble in a bush]''
:'''Beatrice''': Oh, it's you again. I'm stuck. Help me out of here, and I'll owe you a favor.
:'''Greg''': Whoa! I get a wish?
:'''Beatrice''': No, no. no. Not a wish. I'm not magical. I'll just do you a good turn.
:'''Greg''': Can you turn me into a tiger?
:'''Beatrice''': Um, no. I just said I'm not magical.
:'''Greg''': It doesn't have to be a magical tiger.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Beatrice''': You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?
:'''Wirt''': So it's some kind of weird cult they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing. They seem nice enough.
:'''Beatrice''': Okay, you're in denial. That's fine. But I'm just saying, something feels off about this place.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Wirt and Greg are confronted by the large sentient pumpkin called Enoch]''
:'''Enoch''': Now, let's see here, boys. How'd you end up in this little town of ours?
:'''Wirt''': Well, we were trying to get home. We came into town from the woods. Uh, we saw your farms and your houses and thought, &quot;Hey! Here's a normal place with normal people.&quot;
:'''Greg''': And we both stepped on pumpkins!
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, a-and then we heard the music from the barn, and, well, uh... H-how about we just leave?
:'''Enoch''': Now let me get this straight. You come to our town, you trample our crops, you interrupt our private engagement... and now you want to leave?
:'''Wirt''': ''[nervously]'' Uh... yes.
:'''Greg''': You'll never convict! You have no proof! ''[the Elder Pumpkin holds Beatrice in his straw hands]''
:'''Elder Pumpkin''': This one's trying to escape!
:'''Beatrice''': Let me go! I don't know these clowns!
:'''Enoch''': Children, it saddens me that you don't wish to stay here with us, particularly because I simply ''have to punish you'' for your transgressions.
:'''Beatrice''': I told you this place was bad news!
:'''Enoch''': So by order of the Pottsfield chamber of commerce, I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, ''[lowers itself down to approach Wirt and Greg closely]'' disturbing the peace, ''[darkly]'' and '''''murder'''''.
:'''Wirt''': ''[shocked]'' Murder?! 
:'''Enoch''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, no, not murder. But for those other crimes, I sentence you to... a few hours of manual labor.
:'''Wirt''': ''[surprised]'' Wait, what? Really? That's it?

=== ''Schooltown Follies''  [3] ===
:'''Greg''': [singing]  Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
If you want some, oh, just ask us&lt;br /&gt;
They're warm and soft like puppies in socks&lt;br /&gt;
Filled with cream and candy rocks&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
They're so much sweeter than algebra class&lt;br /&gt;
If your stomach is grumblin' and your mouth starts a-mumblin'&lt;br /&gt;
There is only one thing to keep your brain from crumblin'&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
If you can't see 'em, put on your glasses&lt;br /&gt;
They're shiny and large like a fisherman's barge&lt;br /&gt;
You know you've eaten enough when you start seeing stars&lt;br /&gt;

Oh, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
It's the only thing left on your task list&lt;br /&gt;
They're short and stout, they'll make everyone shout &lt;br /&gt;
For, potatoes and molasses&lt;br /&gt;
For, potatoes and--&lt;br /&gt;

:'''Mis. Langtree''': [bursting into the room] That's enough!

=== ''Songs of the Dark Lantern'' [4] ===
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Well, hey there Peach Pot. Whatcha doing around--hey, what's that bird  you got there?
:'''Wirt''': It's a--
:'''Beatrice''': I am Beatrice! These two sweet kids and I got a bit lost in the--
[The tavern keeper knocks the broom and Beatrice yells out and groans]
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': No birds allowed in my tavern!
:'''Beatrice''': No birds allowed in your--
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': It's a bad omen when a bluebird enters through your door. It's bad luck!
:'''Beatrice''': Lady, bluebirds are good luck! We bring joy and happiness to the--[screams] 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Good luck, bad luck--I don't need any of it! 
:'''Beatrice''': Curse you, lady! Curse you! You'll die someday, and I'll laugh--laugh! Ha Ha Ha!

[Wirt is knocked the broom and groans]
:'''Beatrice''': Forget this. I'm out of here. Wirt, you get directions. 
:'''Wirt''': W-wait, No. I don't want to--
:'''Beatrice''': Just do it! 

:'''Wirt''': Wait, wait, wait! Lantern? The Woodsman was the guy with the weird lantern, not the Beast. 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': Pilgrim, He who carries the Dark Lantern must be the Beast.
:'''Wirt''': What? No, The Woodsman's a good guy. He warned us of the Beast and told us which direction to go to avoid him. 
:'''The Tavern Keeper''': And now you're more lost than ever, huh?
:'''Wirt''': Oh... yeah--hey, can you give us some directions? Our friend Beatrice is trying to take us to Adelaide of the Pasture, the Good Woman of the Woods. She can help us get home.

:'''Fred (the horse)''': Nice to horse your acquaintance!
:'''Beatrice''': You can talk?

=== ''Mad Love'' [5] ===
:'''Wirt''': Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew?
:'''Beatrice''': We need money.
:'''Wirt''': You're scamming him?
:'''Beatrice''': I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
:'''Wirt''': What? No way.
:'''Beatrice''': Why not? We already stole a horse.
:'''Fred''': Hey, guys.
:'''Wirt''':  No, we didn't. Fred's a talking horse. He can do whatever he wants.
:'''Fred''': I want to steal.

:'''Wirt''': But, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
:'''Beatrice''': Mmm-hmm.
:'''Wirt''': That's all.
:'''Beatrice''': That's all? 
:'''Wirt''': And I think about her lot, and I play clarinet.
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt! You've got to be kidding me.
:'''Wirt''': And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, That stuff's not weird. Those are just--[sighs]--well, the poetry thing is weird.

=== ''Lullaby in Frogland'' [6] ===
:'''Greg''': [singing] Oh, we're going to the Pasture to meet Adelaide and ask her if she has a way to send us back where we came from.
I don't know who she is or how she is or when, what, why she is.
:'''Wirt''': [singing] But as for where she is, she is where we will go. 
:'''Both''': To Adelaide, to Adelaide. C'mon and join the Adelaide Parade. Adelaide, To Adelaide. We're going to Adelaide's house today.
[Wirt starts laughing and sighs]
:'''Wirt''': Boy. Finally going home. 

:'''Greg''': Wirt, drum me!
:'''Wirt''': Okay.
[Wirt bangs on the drum and Greg groans]
:'''Greg''': [open his eyes] Are we good?
:'''Wirt''': [breathes deeply] I think so. 
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, sometimes you have to face your problems. Turn yourself in and get kicked off this boat.

:'''Wirt''': Oh no. Beatrice, I'm too young to go to frog jail. [Whimpers]
:'''Greg''': Hey, why don't you play the bassoon?
:'''Wirt''': That'll get us kicked off this boat for sure.
:'''Beatrice''': [Gasps in shock] No, Greg's right. You should play it. Go ahead. You'll do fine. You play instruments, right?
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, but bassoon and clarinet are way different.

:'''Beatrice''': Adelaide, we need to talk.
:'''Adelaide''': Did you bring me what I asked for?
:'''Beatrice''': I found two brothers lost in the woods, but I can't give them to you, Adelaide. They need to go home.
:'''Adelaide''': Nonsense! I'll give them a wonderful home here.
:'''Beatrice''': That's what you said, but--
:'''Adelaide''': Can't you see I'm sick and helpless? [Imitating coughing] Ah-choo! I'm all alone in the world. I want a child servant.
:'''Beatrice''': Servant? I thought you just wanted some yard work done.
:'''Adelaide''': Our arrangement was for you to bring me a child servant and then I give you the scissors... To snip, snip, snip your family's wings away to make them human again. 
:'''Beatrice''': What if I became your servant?
:'''Adelaide''': Ha! I need a big strong child!
:'''Beatrice''': You can turn me into a human, can you?
:'''Adelaide''': Oh yes--scissors!
:'''Beatrice''': Yeah. yeah. So give me the scissors. I'll go help my family. [Gasps] Wirt!
:'''Adelaide''': Close the door! I'll catch my death of cold!
:'''Wirt''': What's going on?

:'''Wirt''': All along, you've been leading us to this crazy lady?
:'''Adelaide''': I do as he commands--the voice of the night, the Beast of eternal darkness.
[Beatrice open the window and the wind air blew out]
:'''Adelaide''': What are you doing? Ohh!

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt? Greg?
[Beatrice coughs and ran out of the door]
:'''Beatrice''': Greg! Wirt! It wasn't what it looks like! I was just--[starts to cry]--please come back! Oh. 
[Beatrice begins to sob]
:'''Wirt''': Hmm.
:'''Greg''': Wirt, what about Beatrice?
:'''Wirt''': Hmm, I shouldn't trusted anyone.

=== ''The Ringing of the Bell'' [7] ===
:'''Gregory''': Wow, Wirt! You saved the day twice today!
:'''Wirt''': Yeah, I guess. But so what? We're still not any closer to getting home. I just don't know what I'm doing out here anymore. I don't know if we'll ever get back home.
:'''Gregory''': Sure we will! What can stop us? You got a plan, remember?
:'''Wirt''': I lied.
:'''Gregory''': Aw, come on! Let's go, captain! Lead the way! You can do it! ''[Wirt sighs; the Beast watches them]''
:'''Beast''': Yes, yes. All hope will soon be lost. ''[turns to the Woodsman]'' We're lucky the boy had the plot to best you. Your play could have cost us both. Don't you care about keeping the lantern lit? Don't you care about your daughter's soul?
:'''Woodsman''': One cannot trade the souls of children as if they were tokens! There has to be another way.
:'''Beast''': No. There is only me. There is only my way. There is only the forest, and there is only surrender.

=== ''Babes in the Wood'' [8] ===
:'''Cloud City Reception Comitee''': So, what brings you to Cloud City?
:'''Greg''': Well, I'm supposed to be a leader, but I don't know how.
:'''Cloud City Reception Comitee''': Why don't you lead our band in a song?
:'''Greg''': Okay.

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt!
:'''Greg''': Wirt! Wirt?
:'''Wirt''': Greg?
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt, are you okay? Wirt!
:'''Wirt''': Greg? I-I-I--
:'''Beatrice''': Where's Greg, Wirt? 
:'''Wirt''': Beatrice? [Breathing and groans]
:'''Beatrice''': [calling] Wirt. Wirt!

=== ''Into the Unknown'' [9] ===
:'''Greg''': Hey, Wirt, whatcha doing?
:'''Wirt''': Nothing. 
:'''Greg''': I was helping old lady Daniels rake some leaves in exchange for candy.
:'''Wirt''': Greg, it's Halloween. Candy is free. 

:'''Kathleen''': Oh, look at you. What are you supposed to be?
:'''Greg''': It's an elephant costume. [Starts trumpeting] Phbt! See my trunk?

:'''Sara''': Uh... you can let  go of my hand now. 
:'''Jason Funderberker''': Oh... yeah.
:'''Kid''': You could hold my hand, Funderberker. I don't care.
[Greg begins to howl and spinning around]
:'''Kid''': Hey, isn't that Wirt's little brother?
:'''Greg''': No. I'm the headless elephant. [Starts to trumpeting]
[The kids begin to laugh]

=== ''The Unknown'' [10] ===
:'''Beast''': Did you fetch for me the Golden Comb?
:'''Greg''': Will that work? 
:'''Beast''': This is a honeycomb.
:'''Greg''': Golden comb of honey. [Giggles]
:'''Beatrice''': Greg! Oh! [Whimpers] Oh! [Howls] Greg!
:'''Greg''': Huh?
:'''Beast''': Never mind that, Gregory. You've brought me the first two items--a golden comb and a spoon of silver thread.

:'''Wirt''': What the... Beatrice?
:'''Beatrice''': Wirt!
:'''Wirt''': Beatrice! What are you doing out there? 
:'''Beatrice''': I saw Greg!
:'''Wirt''': What?
:'''Beatrice''': I saw Greg. He was w-with someone.

:'''Wirt''': Wait. that's dumb.
:'''Beast''': What?
:'''Wirt''': That's dumb. I'm not just gonna just wander around in the woods for the rest of my life.
:'''Beast''': I'm trying to help you. 
:'''Wirt''': You're not trying to help me. You just have some weird obsession with keeping this lantern lit. It's almost like your soul is in this lantern.
[The Beast goes into a rage over a terrified Wirt]
:'''Beast''': '''Are you ready to see true darkness?'''
[Wirt, still terrified, but being courageous stands up and opens the lantern cap]
:'''Wirt''': [Scared in a small squeaky voice] Are y-[Clears his throat, becoming serious] Are you?
[Wirt blows on the flame of the Lantern]
:'''Beast''': [Panicked] DON'T!!! ''DON'T!!!!''
[Wirt scoffs, as this proves his point. The Woodsman realizes in heartbreak that this proves the Beast was lying to him about his daughter all along]

:'''Beatrice''': Wirt...
:'''Wirt''': Come with us.
:'''Beatrice''': I--I got to go home, too, admit to my family it's my fault they're bluebirds.
[Wirt clears throat and holds out the scissors]
:'''Beatrice''': What?
:'''Wirt''': The scissors that'll make your family human again.
:'''Beatrice''': You had them all along!
:'''Wirt''': I-I used them to escape Adelaide, and then--then... yeah, I-I was sort of mad at you.
:'''Beatrice''': [tearfully] Oh, you... wonderful mistake of nature!
:'''Beast''': You see, Woodsman? All who perish here will become trees for the lantern. Cut them down with your ax. Go! Now!
:'''Woodsman''': NO!! [He swings the lantern showing the beast in full color for a fraction of a second. The Woodsman opens the latern]
:'''Beast''': STOP! You'll never see your daughter again Woodsman! Are you really ready to go back to that empty house? [The Woodsman sheds a tear as he realizes this might be true, then angrily raises the lantern and inhales] '''NO! WOODSMAN!!!''' [The Woodsman blows out the lantern, killing the beast]

:'''Beatrice''': [singing] One is a bird Two are the trees Three is the wind of the leaves Four are the stars Five with the moon

:'''Wirt''': Our frog.
:'''Greg''': Our frog!
:'''Jason Funderberker''': Our frog?

== Cast ==
* [[Elijah Wood]] - Wirt
* [[w:Collin Dean|Collin Dean]] - Gregory (Greg)
* [[w:Melanie Lynskey|Melanie Lynskey]] - Beatrice
* [[Christopher Lloyd]] - The Woodsman
* [[w:Jack Jones|Jack Jones]] - Greg's Frog
* [[w:Samuel Ramey|Samuel Ramey]] – The Beast

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
http://over-the-garden-wall.wikia.com/wiki/Transcript
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American black comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American comedy-drama TV shows]]
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[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
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[[Category:Cartoon Network Studios]]</text>
      <sha1>59mlnwcjtngwdi4vzeljkv3ly8whqx9</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Regular Show (season 4)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187348</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154640</id>
      <parentid>3151166</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T19:24:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>81.98.83.222</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Firework Run [4.14] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="27160" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:''' [[Regular Show (season 1)|1]] [[Regular Show (season 2)|2]] [[Regular Show (season 3)|3]] [[Regular Show (season 4)|4]] [[Regular Show (season 5)|5]] [[Regular Show (season 6)|6]] [[Regular Show (season 7)|7]] [[Regular Show (season 8)|8]] | [[Regular Show: The Movie|Film]] | [[Regular Show|Main]]
----

The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of ''[[Regular Show]]''.

===''Exit 9B'' [4.01-4.02]===
:'''Muscle Man''': The park.
:'''Skips''': Our home.
:'''Pops''': ''(sheds a tear)'' All is lost.
:'''Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.''': Thomas, stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already! ''(turns to Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr.)'' Kid's worthless am I right?
:''(Thomas yells and throws coffee at Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.'s face. Enraged, he kicks Thomas off the freeway)''
:'''Everyone''': Thomas!!
:''(as Thomas falls to the ground, Gary's car swoops off after him, with Benson and Rigby still on the back. Pops, Skips and Mordecai watch over the edge)''
:'''Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.''': Hmm, all right, gather round, gather round now. ''(the villains gather)'' We'll just tear this thing up and get this war back on. MINIONS! BEHOLD!!! ''(holds up a crude drawing of him, thinking it's the contract)'' 
:'''Blonde Man''': (''with a British accent)'' Uh, is that a drawing of you with a butt for a face??
:'''GBF Jr''': Huh?! A fake?
:'''Mordecai''': Hey, losers!  
:''(Gary's car floats up from below the freeway. Thomas is clinging from the edge of the trunk)'' 
:'''Rigby''': Should have checked the fine print when we switched the contract in front of yo' face! know what I'm sayin'? 
:'''Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr. and Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr.''': NO!!!!!!
:''(Thomas signs the last missing spot and the paper glows yellow around his name. The contract takes off into mid air and flies to the portal, closing it. The freeway begins to crumble and crack as the villains fly back to where they came from, followed closely by the bits of destroyed freeway and unless they can hold on, the park workers, too. The Fergusons stand on the last remaining piece of freeway as terror reigns around them)''  
:'''Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr.''': Junior! You just broke the universe record for disappointing your father! AUUUUUGH! ''(explodes)''  
:'''Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.''': ''(falls to his knees)'' '''''NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!''''' ''(explodes)''

===''Starter Pack'' [4.03]===
:'''Muscle Man''': THOMAS DID THIS!?

===''Terror Tales of the Park II'' [4.04-4.05]===
:'''Margaret''': Hey! He's passing a movie theatre, Driver, Stop the bus! Let us off, Stop the bus!
:''[The Bus Driver just ignores her and turns up the music]''
:'''Margaret''': Ugh!, Mordecai the bus isn't stopping!
:'''Party Guy 1''': ''[elder voice]'' You can't stop now, the party's just getting started.
:'''Mordecai''': You don't looks so good man.
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, How long get been here?
:'''Party Guy 1''': Fifteen… minutes. ''[He then disintegrates, and the four scream in shock]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Margaret''': ''[elder voice]'' Why did you put it in reverse?
:'''Mordecai''': ''[elder voice]'' It was the only thing I could think of!
:'''Rigby''': ''[He looks at his hands, returning to the gang's real age]'' Guys, look!
:'''Margaret''': We're getting younger!
:''[But the de-aging doesn't stop, since the bus is still in motion. The gang starts shrinking, turning them younger until they're kids again]''
:'''Mordecai''': ''[younger voice]'' We gotta get off this bus!
:'''Eileen''': ''[younger voice]'' Guys look, an emergency hatch! 
:''[Eileen points at a hatch in the roof]''
:'''Mordecai''': ''[younger voice]'' Come on, everybody up! 
:''[Rigby opens the hatch. Mordecai lifts everyone on top of the bus, but when Mordecai finally gets out, he notices they all have turned into babies]''
:'''Rigby/Margaret/Eileen''': ''[younger voice]'' Now what?
:'''Mordecai''': ''[younger voice]'' We gotta jump! ''[The gang holds each other's hands, and then they all jump off of the bus, giggling]'' We did it! We got off the party bus.
:'''Mordecai/Rigby/Margaret/Eileen''': ''[younger voice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[They all pop out of existence]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mordecai''': Aw, what?! We didn't survive the crash?!
:'''Rigby''': I guess not.
:'''Benson''': (Turns red) &lt;Big&gt;&lt;Big&gt; '''UNBELIEVABLE!!!! RIGBY, YOU'RE FIRED. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Rigby''': You can't fire me, I'm dead! Whoo! Party!

===''Pie Contest'' [4.06]===
:'''Benson''': '''Mordecai! Rigby!'''
:'''Mordecai''': Whoa, Benson, we're sorry!
:'''Rigby''': At least we didn't give up, right?
:'''Benson''': '''UNBELIEVABLE!'''
:'''Mordecai''': Look, we judged the pie contest.
:'''Rigby''': You're just mad we didn't quit and now you can't fire us.
:'''Benson''': Oh, ''can't I?!''
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': No, you can't.
:'''Benson''': Yeah, I guess you're right. (Gives M&amp;R shovels) &lt;BIG&gt;&lt;BIG&gt; '''Clean up this MESS or you're FIRED!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

===''150 Piece Kit'' [4.07]===
===''Bald Spot'' [4.08]===
:'''Rigby''': Whoa. I didn't know you were bald. (Muscle Man cries out in agony, rolls off.)
:'''Mordecai''': Uh, see you tonight.

===''Guy's Night'' [4.09]===
===''One Pull Up'' [4.10]===
===''The Christmas Special'' [4.11-4.12]===
:''(Quillgin gets up from the bridge and looks at the other side, angrily)''
:'''Quillgin''': '''NOOOOOO!!!!!'''

===''T.G.I. Tuesday'' [4.13]===

===''Firework Run'' [4.14]===
:''[Benson just arrived witnessing all Fourth of July fireworks blow up and angrily confronts the group in a fit of rage]''
:'''Benson''': ''(to Muscle Man)'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Muscle Man''': We were just—
:'''Benson''': (Still red) &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT UP ''ALL'' THE FIREWORKS BEFORE THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR?!!!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Muscle Man''':  Just hang on now, Benson! I know this looks bad, but I can fix it.
:'''Benson''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''Fix it?! Fix ''WHAT?!!''''' '''You just ruined the 4th of JULY.'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Muscle Man''': I know! I know! Just hear me out. I know a guy who's got the hookup on cheap fireworks.
:'''Benson''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''''I DON'T WANT CHEAP FIREWORKS!!!''''' '''That stuff you just''' '''''blew up''''' '''was top of the LINE!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Muscle Man''': Benson, trust me. This guy's stuff is quality. I'll pay for it out of my own pocket.
:'''Benson''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''Alright, fine. But if you guys aren't back before the show starts at sundown, '''''YOU'RE FIRED!!'''''
&lt;hr width=100%&gt;
:'''Benson''': This wasn't the deal! You 2 were supposed to ''replace the ones'' that you set off this morning. That's it. I'm CALLING IT OFF! You guys are all ''FIRED!''
&lt;hr width=100%&gt;
:'''Benson''': Alright, you guys. Somehow, you managed to top last year's firework show, so I guess I'm ''not'' gonna fire you.
:'''All 4''': Yeah! / Alright.
:'''Benson''': In fact, I'm putting you four in charge of a very special job.
:'''Rigby''': Oh, cool! What special job?
:'''Benson''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''REPLACING THE THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS WORTH OF GRASS YOU JUST BURNT!!!'''
:''[he and Skips leave. Muscle Man turns to the group]''
:'''Muscle Man''': Don't worry. I know a guy who's got the hookup on real cheap sod.

===''The Longest Weekend'' [4.15]===
:'''Rigby''': This movie sucks. It's called &quot;The Longest Weekend&quot;, but I thought it was going to be a party.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Muscle Man''': Oh, man. ''[picks up the phone]'' Starla would love this! ''[remembers he can't contact her and hangs up]'' Relax, Muscle Man. You gotta give your lady her space. ''[takes out a van magazine to read, a lady on one turns into Starla]''
:'''Starla''': Mitch, why aren't you calling to tell me about this?
:'''Muscle Man''': ''[screams and tosses the magazine]'' Get it together, man! Get it together. ''[picks up a bag from Wing Kingdom; takes a tray of chicken nuggets out and dips one in sauce]'' Huh?
:'''Chicken Nugget Starla''': I miss you, Mitch.
:''[Muscle Man screams horrifyingly and tosses the nugget to a mop water puddle which turns into Starla's face]''
:'''Mop Water Starla''': Are you trying to ignore me?!
:'''Muscle Man''': NO!
:'''Watermelon Starla''': Oh, really? Then why haven't you called?
:'''Muscle Man''': But you said if I did, we'd have to break up! ''[looks out his window]''
:'''Cloud Starla''': Mitch. I didn't mean it.
:'''Lamp Starla''': Call me.
:'''Bowling Ball Starla''': Just pick up the phone.
:'''Starla's Voice''': Mitch, I miss you.
:''[Muscle Man freaks out and runs out of his trailer, screaming]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Muscle Man''': Dudes! Dudes, I need your help!
:'''Rigby''': Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill out, Muscle Man.
:'''Hi Five Ghost''': Yeah, have a soda.
:'''Mordecai''': Here ya go!
:'''Muscle Man''': This isn't the time for soda! This &quot;Starla&quot; thing is freaking me out! I see her ''everywhere!'' In my soup, in my chicken nuggets, it's driving me crazy! If I don't get some help, I'm gonna call her and she's gonna dump me!
:'''Mordecai''': Dude, it's only for the weekend. We'll help you through this.
:'''Rigby''': You can count on us!
:'''Muscle Man''': Thanks, guys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mordecai''': Muscle Man, don't do it! She'll break up with you!
:'''Margaret''': 30 more seconds!
:'''Mordecai''': You promised her you'd wait!
:'''Muscle Man''': I've waited long enough! I don't wanna wait anymore! And I bet Starla doesn't wanna wait anymore either! STARLA!!! (''glows brighter'')
:'''Starla''': MITCH!!! (''also glows brighter'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mordecai''': We probably shouldn't invite them to the movies anymore.
:'''Margaret''': Good idea.

===''Sandwich of Death'' [4.16]===
:'''Mordecai''': Whoa. Benson, are you okay?
:'''Rigby''': It really ''is'' a Death Sandwich!
:'''Benson''': ''[choking]'' Death Sandwich?! Why would you buy something that kills people?!
:'''Rigby''': Why would you eat somebody’s sandwich?!
:'''Mordecai''': Come on guys, this is serious. We gotta get Benson a cure from the Death Sandwich before it’s too late.

===''Ace Balthazar Lives'' [4.17]===
===''Do or Diaper'' [4.18]===
===''Quips'' [4.19]===

:'''Benson''': You guys have all your assignments for today. Oh, and don't forget that tonight is Game Night.
:'''Mordecai''': Aw, yeah! Game Night!.
:'''Rigby''': What are we playing? 
:'''Benson''': Yeah, Skips. What are we playing?
:'''Skips''': Tonight, we will be playing Drawsome.
(''everyone cheers'')
:'''Muscle Man''': Alright. I love me some Drawsome. Who else is showing up to this ''Drawsome'' event?
:'''Skips''': I got a giant baby, Gary, and my cousin Quips.
:'''All''': Ugh! 
:'''Skips''': What?
:'''Mordecai''': Your cousin Quips is annoying.
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, man. He's always telling lame jokes. 
:'''Skips''': What are you guys talking about? 
:'''Mordecai''': Come on. Every other word out of that guy's mouth is some annoying joke. 
:'''Rigby''': Yeah. Some joke that isn't funny. 
:'''Skips''': Come on, guys! His jokes aren't that bad.
:'''Quips''': And then he said, &quot;Yes, I do!&quot; (''laughs'') Alright, seriously, last one, 'cause I got to go. What? Hey, wait! I didn't even get to finish my punchline! Aw, well. He's probably already heard my routine. Heeey, who's ready for some funny? 
:'''All''': Ugh! 
:'''Skips''': You guys all remember my cousin Quips.
:'''All''': Hey, Quips.
:'''Quips''': Hey, Benson. Nice to see ya. Speaking of &quot;see ya&quot;, what did one ocean say to the other ocean? &quot;Sea ya later!&quot; (''laughs'')
:'''Benson''': I don't get it. 
:'''Quips''': Oh, well, an ocean is a body of water and the sea is also—
:'''Benson''': I don't care.
:'''Quips''': A little more care will give you a little more hair. Zingo! 
:'''Benson''': Ugh!
:'''Pops''': Hello, Quips.
:'''Quips''': Pops, looking good. In fact, you look amazing. Just a compliment. Don't get a big head. Oops! Too late! Zammo! And, of course, Muscle Man, you love the jokes. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls! (''laughs'') I got a whole bait about bodies of water. What? You say you want another one?
:'''Muscle Man''': We didn't say anything.
:'''Quips''': What did the lake say to the puddle? 
:'''Skips''': Come on, Quips. Let's get you unpacked. You probably want to lie down after your trip.
:'''Quips''': Guess it's time to take this comedy show on the road. And by comedy show, I mean me! Zingo! 
:'''Mordecai''': Dude, he's even worse than last time. 
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, Skips. Tell your cousin that if he can't stop telling jokes, then he's gotta get out of here.
:'''Skips''': I can't just do that. I invited him here. No one told you to get rid of your brother Don when he visited.
:'''Rigby''': That's because everyone loved him! I ''tried'' to get rid of him!
:'''Skips''': Ugh! Alright, fine. I'll tell him soon.
:'''Quips''': Wow, guys. Those coughs sound pretty serious. You guys should see a doctor. Oh, that reminds me. Why did the clown go to the doctor? He was feeling a little funny!

===''Caveman'' [4.20]===
:'''Benson''': Who is that?
:'''Mordecai''': He's our new friend. Dancing caveman.
:'''Benson''': ''Caveman''? No, no. No way. I'm not having a caveman at the park. We aren't insured for it.
:'''Mordecai''': What?! That's not fair!
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, we can't just get rid of him!
:'''Benson''': A caveman cannot fit into this modern world.
:''[Caveman squeezes a ketchup bottle and mustard bottle into his mouth and he throw the bottles at Benson, who blocks them with the clipboard]''
:'''Benson''': See?!
:'''Mordecai''': But he's one of us now!
:'''Benson''': Really? What's his name?
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': Uh…
:'''Benson''': Get rid of him!
:'''Rigby''': But he'll die out there alone! Come on, Benson.
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': Please?
:'''Caveman''': Ben… son?
:'''Benson''': …Fine. You have a week to get him civilized.
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': Nice!
:'''Mordecai''': Thanks, Benson.
:'''Benson''': But if he isn't up to park standards in a week, I'm calling the pound!! ''[leaves]''
:'''Mordecai''': We're gonna need some help.

&lt;hr width=100%&gt;
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': Benson!
:'''Benson''': I saw everything. I had Greg all wrong! He gave it all up for true love. In a way, he was more civilized than all of us! Mordecai, Rigby, clean up this mess. Do it. (about to cry) Do it or you're fired!

===''That's My Television'' [4.21]===
===''A Bunch of Full Grown Geese'' [4.22]===
:'''Mordecai, Rigby and Pops''': Hoagie Sandwich! Hoagie Sandwich!
:'''Mordecai''': Squeeze out the Mustard, do it real quick!
:'''Rigby''': A dab of Mayo, too much'd be sick!
:'''Pops''': Healthy veggies'll make this valid!
:'''Rigby''': And don't forget the main ingredients so we don't confuse it with a salad!
:'''Mordecai, Rigby and Pops''': Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
:''A group of four fully grown Canadian Geese show up on the bridge. The Geese start attacking the lakeside, starting by scaring a couple away, pushing a squirrel off the bridge, and even dropping a giant rock on a paddle boat with a couple in it, breaking it and sending the couple into the lake. Two of the geese chest pound each other.''
:'''Pops''': Those ruffians!! (Gets up and runs to the geese) Now see here, geese!! Your behavior is most uncouth! Now, I'm afraid- (Geese start pushing him around) Ahhhh! (runs away, sobbing)
:'''Rigby''': Hey, quit it! (The geese stare at the sandwich and Rigby realizes it.) PROTECT THE SANDWICH!
:''(The geese attack it and throw it in the trash can as Rigby jumps into Mordecai's arms.)''
:'''Rigby''': (Sobbing) WHYYY?
:''(The geese start punching the trash can, smashing it in the process, and rolls the trash can towards the three where it may have hit another trash can, sending some garbage flying in the air.)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mordecai''': Benson, something's gotta be done about those geese! Pops is locked in his room crying!
:'''Benson''': Yeah, we've been getting complaints. They're highly territorial war-like birds. Luckily, I got a couple guys who'll be takin' care of the problem.
:'''Both''': Dude, awesome!
:'''Rigby''': Who is it?
:'''Benson''': Couple of guys named Mordecai and Rigby.
:'''Both''': ''What''?!!
:'''Mordecai''': Maybe you don't understand, Benson, these geese — they're terrifying.
:'''Rigby''': Terrifying!
:'''Benson''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt; '''I don't wanna hear it. DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Rigby''': Man, you always say that. You're all talk, Benson.
:'''Benson''': HGNNN RAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
:'''Both''': WAHHH!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

===''Fool Me Twice'' [4.23]===
===''Limousine Lunchtime'' [4.24]===
:'''Benson''': All right, Mr. Maellard gets back from vacation today, so I need you guys to clean the limousine.
:'''Rigby''': Why don't we just wait till it rains? That's how I clean myself.
:'''Benson''': ''[beat]'' I want it looking as good as new when he comes back this afternoon. That means washed, waxed and detailed, got it?
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, yeah, we got it.
:'''Mordecai''': So where are the keys?
:'''Benson''': Oh, you mean these keys?
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah.
:'''Benson''': Oh, no. I'll be holding on to these.
:'''Rigby''': Aw, what? How're we gonna listen to the radio then?
:'''Benson''': Your job isn't listening to the radio, it's to clean the car. Do it before Mr. Maellard gets back or you're ''fired''! ''[leaves]''
:'''Rigby''': Great, no radio. This is gonna be so '''BOORRIIIIING'''!!!

===''Picking Up Margaret'' [4.25]===
:'''Mordecai''': Uh... ''(Margaret turns)'' Nothing. Sorry. See you.
:'''Margaret''': ''(sighs)''
:''(without hesistation, she kisses him)''
:'''Margaret''': See you soon.
:'''Mordecai''': Uh...bye. :''(leaves, starts dancing, then sees Benson's car being towed)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Margaret''': Wait, are you sure you want to give me a ride and not because you bet someone you could or- 
:'''Mordecai''': What? ''(scoffs)'' Come on, when have I- ''(points at Rigby, when he's trying to speak)'' Be quiet!

===''K.I.L.I.T. Radio'' [4.26]===
:''[In the kitchen; Muscle Man calls K.I.L.I.T. Radio on the phone]''
:'''Phone monitor:''' ''Hello, this is K.I.L.I.T Radio.''
:'''Muscle Man:''' Yeah, I'd like DJ Donny G to play my...
:'''Phone Monitor:''' ''To talk to a K.I.L.I.T representative, press 0. (Muscle Man presses 0) Are you calling in regard to a song you heard?''
:'''Muscle Man:''' No, I wanna talk to somebody! (presses 0 several times) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!
:'''Phone Monitor:''' ''I'm transferring you to our bilingual system.''
:'''Muscle Man:''' NO! ''(Presses 0 Again) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!''
:'''Spanish/Latin phone monitor:''' ''Hola. llamas la Radio K.I.L.I.T.''
:'''Muscle Man:''' ''(moves table &amp; chair and groans) I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!! (hits phone madly on the table, screaming in anger, Then Mordecai &amp; Rigby come to Muscle Man)''
:'''Mordecai:''' Dude, Muscle Man, calm down!
:'''Muscle Man:''' UUUUGHH!!! I'm a failiure of a boyfriend! I can't even do something special for my girl!
:'''Mordecai:''' Why don't we just go down to the radio station and find somebody to talk to?
:'''Rigby:''' Yeah, maybe someone there can help you.
:'''Muscle Man:''' You're right, bros. I need to take this to the source.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rigby:''' Well, that was easy!
:'''Muscle Man:''' Yeah, we totally got the hook up from Donny G! Man, I can't wait to see Starla's face tonight. She's gonna be really appreciative. ''(Sees Donny G throw away the tape in his rearview mirror)'' ''[Gasps]'' OH NO BRO!
:''(Muscle Man gets out of the car,slamming the door behind him)''
:'''Muscle Man:''' YO DONNY! ''(Closes car door and begins running towards Donny G)'' DONNY G!!!
:'''Donny G:''' Look man, it's not what you think.
:'''Muscle Man:''' It is what I think! Cause I saw you! I used to think that you were cool! You know something, I see D-player could do your job!  But you know what, I still have a voice. ''(Takes the tape out of the trash can)'' And this voice, on this tape won't be silenced on YOU!
:'''Donny G:''' Shh, shh, shh.
:'''Muscle Man:''' I SAID I WON'T BE SILENCED!
:'''Donny G:''' Okay, okay. ''(glances at the security cameras warily)'' But, we can't talk here.

===''Carter and Briggs'' [4.27]===
===''Skips' Stress'' [4.28]===
:'''Muscle Man''': Skips! Test your strength, bro! ''[his hair becomes dark and wiggly]'' Ring the bell, Skips! ''[raises and offers him the mallet]'' Ring the bell!

===''Cool Cubed'' [4.29]===
===''Trailer Trashed'' [4.30]===
===''Meteor Moves'' [4.31]===
:'''Margaret''': Mordecai, where are we? (''Mordecai walks up to her.'')
:'''Mordecai''': Right where I wanna be. 
(''Margaret is stunned, then they share a passionate kiss.'')
:'''Guardian of the Friend Zone''': Mordecai, Margaret, I now pronounce you out of the friend zone!

===''Family BBQ'' [4.32]===
:'''Margaret''': Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow? My family is having a barbecue. Wanna come?
:'''Rigby''': Family function?! Pass. I can't stand my own family barbecues, Why would I want to go to someone else's?
:'''Mordecai''': ''[elbows Rigby]'' She's not talking to you!
:'''Margaret''': Um. So, how 'bout it? Hehe.
:'''Mordecai''': Sure. Sounds like fun.
:'''Margaret''': Awesome! I'm really excited for you to meet everybody, especially my dad. I think you'll really like him. He pilots the traffic Helicopter for the local news.
:'''Rigby''': What?!
:'''Mordecai''': Whoa! Your dad is Chopper Six?!
:'''Rigby''': That dude rules! ''[imitates Chopper Six]'' This is Chopper Six now flying over a ton of traffic. Bet all of you losers wish you were in this Chopper! WHOO! And then he flies over some burning truck in a fifty car pile up! So cool.
:'''Eileen''': He is really cool, but don't let your guard down. Margaret's dad can be a pretty aggressive guy. It's common in such a male dominant profession. He even refuses to shake hands with any guy Margaret brings home.
:'''Margaret''': Oh, come on! He's not that tough. He's super sweet when you get to know him.
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah. I'm sure we'll get along fine.
:'''Margaret''': Well, we gotta get back to work. I'll pick you up tomorrow, okay? ''[she and Eileen leave]''
:'''Eileen''': Later.
:'''Mordecai''': Great. See ya. I have to shake that guy's hand.
:'''Rigby''': What, why?
:'''Mordecai''': Dude, it's a huge deal! I'm finally out of the friend zone, and now she's taking me to meet her parents.
:'''Rigby''': So what? You wanna date Margaret, not her dad.
:'''Mordecai''': You don't get it, dude. If Margaret and I are gonna date, I need her dad to like me. I have to get that handshake.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Denise''': Mordecai, let me introduce you to the family. We have Margaret's cousins, Ricky, Tommy, Marcie, Robby, Ronnie, Susie, Stacey, you know John.
:'''John''': Sup, Mordo.
:'''Denise''': Uncle Tim, Uncle Dave, Uncle Bill, Aunt Theresa, Aunt Mary Beth, Aunt Kathleen, Nana Smith, Grandpappy Jack, and over by the grill is Margaret's--
:'''Margaret''': Daddy!
:'''Frank''': Is that my little hug-bug? Give me a hug, hug-bug!
:'''Margaret''': ''[excitedly hugs her dad]'' Daddy!
:'''Frank''': Aw, look at you so grown up. How am I gonna hug my hug-bug if I can't even recognize her?
:'''Margaret''': Dad, I was here last weekend!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While Frank digs around the drawers looking for a swimsuit for Mordecai, he looks at the photos of him and Margaret having fun together when she was growing up]''
:'''Mordecai''': Wow, you guys really spent a lot of time together.

===''The Last LaserDisc Player'' [4.33]===
===''Country Club'' [4.34]===
:'''Benson''': Okay, I'm tired of asking questions. So you're gonna tell me what's going on. Thomas, I know you know.
:'''Thomas''': Huh? Wha?
:'''Benson''': I suggest you spill it!
:'''Skips''': Alright everybody, settle down!
:'''Benson''': Well, look who decided to chime in.
:'''Skips''': Okay, I'm gonna tell you what's going on, but you're not gonna like it!
:'''Benson''': '''WHAT!?!?'''

===''Blind Trust'' [4.35]===
:'''Benson''': Alright fine, I can't do it! I don't trust them to CATCH me! Do you hear me? I don't trust them! (Echoes)

===''World's Best Boss'' [4.36]===
:'''Benson''' Now... CLEAN UP THIS MESS OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED.

===''Last Meal'' [4.37]===
:'''Marty''': ''[to Death as he is about to leave]'' Hey loser! Here's your complimentary shirt, you loser! ''[holds up a T-shirt that says &quot;I GOT DOGGED AT THE HOT BUNS DOGGERY&quot; while laughing mockingly]''
:'''Death''': ''[to Marty; threateningly]'' You better enjoy the next few days, 'cause your deadline just got moved up, ''BIG TIME!'' ''[leaves on his motorcycle as the back tire splashes mud onto the countertop, Marty, and the shirt he's holding]''

===''Sleep Fighter'' [4.38]===
:'''Muscle Man:''' I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the baby would start crying again. They played all 8 seasons; 257 episodes back to back. When Starla and her sister found me the next day, I was crying in a ball on the floor.
:'''Mordecai:''' It sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad.
:'''Benson:''' That must be what's causing your nightmares.

===''Party Re-Pete'' [4.39]===
===''Steak Me Amadeus'' [4.40]===
:'''Mordecai:''' What's going on?! Why are we locked up?!
:''(Kessler then throws a bag of Amadeus Dollars to Mordecai)''
:'''Kessler:''' You tell me. You and your buddies' prints are all over these counterfeit Amadeus Dollars.
:'''Mordecai:''' Counterfeit?!
:'''Kessler:''' Don't be cute with me. We've been on the case for months. Your funny money scam is GOING DOWN! (''bangs her fists on table'') DOWN TO PRISON TOWN, YOU HEAR ME?! PRISON!!!
----
:'''Kessler:''' FREEZE, BEAR!
:'''Muscle Man:''' Bros! The feds said we could help save you!
:'''Kessler:''' Can it, Mitch! Okay, Papa Bear, the jig is up. Drop the gun, and no one gets hurt.
:'''Louie:''' I'd be careful if I were you. (''laughs'')
:'''Male officer:''' Drop the gun, big guy!
:'''Duck Robot:''' Hold up, square! (''cocks her gun'') Y'all better put your guns down, NOW!
----
:'''Mordecai:''' The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life. I feel like we are growing closer every day, and nobody makes me happier than you do. Margaret, (''holds both of Margaret's hands with love. Margaret has a sad expression on her face'') will you be my girlfriend?
:'''Margaret:''' Mordecai, there's something I need to tell you. For the first time ever, I feel like I can be in a relationship that can actually go somewhere...but there's this. (''she shows him a torn open envelope with a letter inside it, that shows it's from Milten University; Mordecai has a shocked expression on his face. Margaret then starts tearing up'') I got into my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, and what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. (''she starts crying'') I'm sorry, but... I can't be your girlfriend.

==External links==

{{wikipedia|Regular Show}}

[[Category:Regular Show seasons]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>r2bhp94wrrttql09cjfo5fsd4h4enn6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Regular Show (season 6)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187350</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154641</id>
      <parentid>3132309</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T19:26:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>81.98.83.222</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The End of Muscle Man [6.06] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21638" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:''' [[Regular Show (season 1)|1]] [[Regular Show (season 2)|2]] [[Regular Show (season 3)|3]] [[Regular Show (season 4)|4]] [[Regular Show (season 5)|5]] [[Regular Show (season 6)|6]] [[Regular Show (season 7)|7]] [[Regular Show (season 8)|8]] | [[Regular Show: The Movie|Film]] | [[Regular Show|Main]]
----

The following is a list of quotes from the sixth season of ''[[Regular Show]]''.

===''Maxin' and Relaxin'' [6.01]===
:''[Mordecai calls his dad, William, in his home office a little later]''
:'''William''': ''[drinking his coffee as his phone rings and answers]'' Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son.
:'''Mordecai''': Uh, hey, Dad. I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend so I can grab one of my old mix tapes.
:'''William''': Girlfriend, eh? I'm sure your mom will love that.
:'''Mordecai''': That's kind of the problem. She gets weird when I bring girls home. It's embarrassing.
:'''William''': Wait. You've brought girls home? How many times? (''Mordecai makes a stoic, unamused face'') Was it zero times? Anyway, I know Mom can go overboard sometimes, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that.
:'''Mordecai''': Just… Is there a time I can come by when Mom won't be home?
:'''William''': Well, she does have Puncher-cise tomorrow night, but--
:'''Mordecai''': Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming.
:'''William''': Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman. Haven't in 25 years. Except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student. Then you lie. Otherwise, no lies!
:'''Mordecai''': Just don't tell her!

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Hilary''': ''[kicks the front door open, entering the house]'' Where's my little champion?
:'''Mordecai''': Mom! (''Hilary runs up and hugs him'') ''[strained]'' You're home!
:'''Hilary''': Of course I am. You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you? And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over, I decided to take the afternoon Punchercise class so I could run right home to see you two.
:''[Mordecai glares annoyingly at his father]''
:'''William''': ''[shrugs]'' 25 years, no lies.
:'''Hilary''': ''[meeting C.J.]'' And you, wow! Gorgeous!
:'''C.J.''': Yep. I'm smart and funny, too.
:'''Hilary''': And modest. She's the whole package.

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Hilary''': See the berries spell out-- ''[Mordecai starts eating the pie]'' Hey! Stop! What are you doing?!
:'''Mordecai''': ''[with mouth full]'' Sorry. It just looks so good you know? I couldn't wait. You still got it, Mom!

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Baby Mordecai''': ''[covered in spaghetti]'' Pasketti everywhere!
:'''Hilary''': Pasketti on your tushy.

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Hilary''': You know, you two should stay for a bit longer. We could eat the special dessert I made for C.J., then we could watch the tape!

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Kid Mordecai''': Dude, C.J. ''does'' think you're cool. But girls don't date guys who are jerks to their mom.
:'''Mordecai''': You're right, guys. Thanks. I needed that.

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''C.J.''': This is ''way'' cooler than a mix tape.

===''New Bro on Campus'' [6.02]===
===''Daddy Issues'' [6.03]===
:'''CJ''': ''[turning dark grey with anger]'' HOW DID I MISS THAT SHOT?! ''[angrily throws the putter out of the golf course, which breaks a car's windshield]'' It was so easy!
:'''Mordecai''': Whoa, whoa, CJ. No need to get upset.

===''Terror Tales of the Park IV'' [6.04-05]===
:'''Mordecai''': You're dead, dude.
:'''Benson''': What?!
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, man. Don't you remember?
:''[In another flashback, Benson hangs Halloween decorations on a ladder at the top of the stairs. Mordecai, holding up the beast mask, and Rigby walk up]''
:'''Mordecai''': Benson, look at this mask!
:'''Benson''': Aah!
:''[Benson falls down the stairs and dies. His ghost leaves his body]''
:'''Rigby (voice-over)''': You've been haunting the house for months.
:''[Benson's ghost scares Rigby while he's eating cereal. When Rigby screams, Benson flees as if he's also scared. The same happens with Mordecai while he's carrying a box up the stairs. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the hallway, with Rigby trying to open a bottle of soda]''
:'''Rigby''': No, dude. It's &quot;lefty locky, righty relaxy&quot;.
:'''Mordecai''': That doesn't even rhyme!
:''[Benson's ghost appears again. It sees Mordecai and Rigby and moans in fright as he leaves. The flashback ends]''
:'''Benson''': Then what are you guys doing here? You've ruined my office!
:'''Mordecai''': We're not in your office. This is our office.
:'''Rigby''': We got promoted!
:'''Mordecai''': And this isn't our office. ''[screen zooms out from Mordecai's face]'' It's a cemetery.
:''[Lightning strikes as Mordecai points down]''
:'''Mordecai''': And that's your grave!
:''[Cut to Benson's tombstone, which reads &quot;R.I.P. BENSON. 'YOU'RE FIRED'&quot;. Benson falls to his knees next to his tombstone]''
:'''Benson''': NOOOOOOOO!

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Eileen''': And somehow this just got creepier.
:''[Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen run toward the window, but Wyatt stops]''
:'''Eileen''': Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?!
:'''Wyatt''': ''[He looks at his reflection in a mirror]'' He might not be trying to kill us. And I really need a haircut...
:'''Mordecai''': What?! You look fine! Let's just go!
:'''Wyatt''': ''[He backs up into the hallway]'' No. He might be cool. I'm gonna chance it! ''[He runs toward the barber]''
:'''Eileen''': Wyatt, no!
:''[Wyatt and the barber's shadows are cast on the wall]''
:'''Barber''': What'll it be, sir?
:'''Wyatt''': Just a little off the top.
:'''Barber''': You got it! ''[laughing maniacally]''
:''[Wyatt's severed head rolls into the morgue]''
:'''Wyatt''': How does it look?
:''[Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen scream]''
:'''Wyatt''': Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it?

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:'''Muscle Mom''': You know who else likes scaring people? ''[takes off the mask]'' ''ME!'' ''[pushes herself through the window; the guys scream in horror at her appearance and run out of the trailer]'' Wait, Mitchy! You forgot your candy! ''[with mouthful of candy]'' Happy Halloween! ''[howls; unzips the costume, revealing the ''real'' her]'' Ha! This costume gets my boys every year!

===''The End of Muscle Man'' [6.06]===
:'''Mordecai''': You havin' fun, buddy? Enjoying your wings?
:'''Muscle Man''': Honestly, bro, they taste bittersweet. But I just wanted to have them-''[sadly]''-one last time.
:'''Rigby''': ''[covering his eyes]'' I can't watch.
:'''Benson''': ''[places his hand on Rigby's shoulder]'' Don't look away, Rigby, look at him! Look at this…Muscle Man! This guy, from who we've all learned so much--from this guy, his joke telling, his loyalty…
:'''Hi Five Ghost''': ''[near-crying]'' I never wanted to be anyone's best friend, until I met you.
:'''Muscle Man''': You guys…
:'''Benson''': ''[stands up]'' No, let me finish! What we'll remember most about you more than anything else is- ''[holds in a vomit]'' Excuse me. Your passion, Muscle Man. Your passion! If you'll all join me.

&lt;hr width=75%&gt;
:''[after Muscle Man proposed to Starla and start kissing]''
:'''Mordecai''': Wait, so Muscle Man was fine this whole time?
:'''Muscle Man''': I'm as healthy as can be.
:'''Rigby''': Then what was all the stuff with Dr. Henry?
:'''Muscle Man''': I just had to make sure I was fit enough to keep up with this she-lion. Thanks a ton, you guys, for helping me finish my bucket list.
:'''Benson''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;&quot;Thanks?!&quot; '''I BLEW TWELVE GRAND ON YOU TODAY!!!'''
:'''Hi-Five Ghost''': Do you even know what you put us through?!
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah, Muscle Man! We all thought you were gonna die!
:'''Muscle Man''': What are you talking about, bro?
:'''Rigby''': You had an appointment with Death!
:'''Benson''': You had to get your papers in order?!
:'''Muscle Man''': My toilet papers. I had to fold 'em into little triangles so my place would look nice for the after-party.
:'''Death''': ''[enters]'' And I'm only here to deliver his aunt's ring from the underworld.
:'''Mordecai''': Not cool, Muscle Man.
:'''Muscle Man''': Oh, come on! This is textbook engagement story. You shed your bachelor self before you get married and be a husband. All that death stuff was a metaphor.
:'''Benson''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;'''&quot;I LEAVE THIS WORLD TONIGHT&quot; IS NOT A METAPHOR!!'''
:'''Muscle Man''': Ohhh. Oh, I see what you're saying. Sorry about that.
:'''Rigby''': Next time you die, you're on your own! That is completely uncool.
:''[everyone leaves disgusted, save for Benson]''
:'''Benson''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;You owe me $12,000. ''[leaves]''
:'''Muscle Man''': ''[at Hi-Five Ghost]'' You get it, don't you, bro?
:'''Hi-Five Ghost''': ''[beat, smiles]'' Best proposal ever!

===''Lift With Your Back'' [6.07]===
{{line}}
:'''Benson''': We get it! (to Mordecai) It's a good thing you're here. I'm gonna need you to help Rigby change the lightbulbs.
:'''Rigby''': Oh, I can do that myself.
:'''Benson''': ''[sarcastically]'' Ha ha. Yeah, sure you can.
:'''Rigby''': Yeah, I can! I help all the time!
:''[Everyone laughs at Rigby]''
:'''Rigby''': Why are you laughing?!
:'''Catra''': It sounds even ''stupider'' the second time! Seriously? Tung Lashor? Pfft. Who came up with that?
:'''Scorpia''': ''[chuckles]'' Right? It's like, what, did you lose a bet?
:'''Muscle Man''': Yeah, Bro, without Mordecai, you'd be totally useless.
:'''Rigby''': Wha- Come on, Mordecai, tell him how useful I am.
:'''Mordecai''': Uhh...yeah, I mean, you're fun.
:'''Rigby''': What? No, tell him I'm useful!
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah, you're my friend.
:'''Rigby''': Why aren't you saying the word useful?!
:'''Mordecai''': Well, I mean there was the time with the chairs, the limousine, the pretzel. You're basically the opposite of useful pretty much anytime we do anything.
:'''Rigby''': But we did those things together!
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah, I mean, you were there.
:'''Rigby''': So the whole time I've been covering for you and CJ?
:'''Mordecai''': Well, I mean, it's the least you could do.
:'''Rigby''': The least...I could.....'''I quit.'''
:'''Mordecai''': What?
:'''Rigby''': I quit! I can get a paycheck anywhere!
:''[Everyone laughs at Rigby again]''
:'''Mordecai''': Dude, you can't get a job without me. It's my references that got you this job in the first place.
:'''Rigby''': Reference this! I'm gonna go out and get a job, and I'm gonna make money at that job. and that money's gonna come in the form of a check. And that check's gonna be in an envelope, and the envelope's gonna be sealed, and I'm gonna rub that sealed envelope all up in your face, Mordecai! ''PEACE!''
:''[Rigby makes a raspberry noise from the park all the way to the Local Temp Agency]''

===''Eileen Flat Screen'' [6.08]===
:'''Announcer''': Okay. Let me get a &quot;honk-honk&quot; in here 'cause you goosed (guessed) it!
:''[a guy honks his horn and goose flies away]''
:'''Announcer''': It's time to announce the winner of the City College Modern Dance Competition. ''[pigeon flies by to give the man an envelope]'' Now, I don't want to &quot;pigeon-hold&quot; anyone, but first place today goes to Eileen Roberts with the dance &quot;Chewed Gum&quot;!
:''[Eileen screams excitedly and the audience cheers]''
:'''Announcer''': To say you blew away the competition wouldn't be Ostrich (a stretch)! ''[Eileen squeals/screams again]'' Let's see how well you dance after a year of sitting in front of your very own flat screen T.V.!
:'''Eileen''': ''[joyous squeal]' This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!
:'''Mordecai, Rigby, and CJ''': Flat-screen! Flat-screen!
:'''Announcer''': Thanks for coming everyone and for all of you losers today, don't Rooster (Brewster) on your laurels 'cuz there's always next year!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Joanne''': I knew it!
:'''Eileen''': Joanne! I thought you were at the beach!
:'''Joanne''': I ''was'' at the beach, until I realized something like this might happen! How could I enjoy the surf and sun knowing you could be here, messing with my TV?
:'''Eileen''': I'm sorry! I didn't think it-- ''[Joanne smacks the remote of her hand; gasps]''
:'''Joanne''': ''[to Eileen, threatningly]'' Next time, that remote will be your face. To clarify, next time I'll slap your face.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Joanne''': What are you doing?
:'''Rigby''': ''[faces her]'' AAHH! JOANNE!
:'''Joanne''': Did you touch my T.V.?
:'''Rigby''': No
:'''Joanne''': ''[walks towards Rigby, jabs her finger into his chest]'' You better not, because the hand that touches my T.V., is a hand you'll never get back. And by that…I mean I'm ripping it off your body, and keeping it.
:'''Rigby''': Look Joanne, I didn't-
:'''Joanne''': What's that?
:'''Rigby''': ''[covering the outlet]'' What's what?
:'''Joanne''': ''[walks forward]'' Move it, shrimp.
:'''Rigby''': No, wait!
:'''Joanne''': ''[shoves him aside, notices the moved plugs]'' I KNEW IT! You mess with my T.V., I mess with yours. ''[jumps onto the flat screen on the wall, takes it down, and runs away with it]''
:'''Rigby''': ''[worried]'' NO, NOT THE FLAT SCREEN!
:'''Mordecai''': Joanne, stop! We can talk this out! She's already half way up the street!

===''The Real Thomas'' [6.09-10]===
:'''Benson''': Guys, it finally happened. I met the perfect girl! Her name is Natalie, and she's a preschool teacher. I'll be showing her around the park today. So your only duties are to leave us alone. Just leave me and Natalie alone, people!  
:''[Rigby raises his hand]''
:'''Benson''': No, you can't use the bathroom, Rigby.
:'''Rigby''': That's not what I was gonna s—
:'''Mordecai''': Y'know, Rigby has a point. What about Audrey? 
:'''Benson''': We broke up. Remember?
:''[Everyone can't remember this]''
:'''Pops''': I don't recall. 
:'''Benson''': I was sad for months? I loafed around the house?
:''[Everyone can't remember this either]''
:'''Benson''': ''[scoffs]'' Muscle Man and Pops, you took me to get ice cream! Skips, you made me train for that marathon! In fact, all you guys had a role in my lengthy healing process! 
:'''Skips''': I don't remember any of this.
:''[Benson goes full red-hot rage]''
:'''Benson''': SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS!.... Today is Thomas' last day. Now keep this under wraps, guys, 'cause I want to surprise him. At the end of the day, I'm offering Thomas a full-time job! 
:''[Everyone cheers except Rigby]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Benson''': What're you guys doing here?! And what room is this? What's all this stuff?
:'''Rigby''': We don't know, but we're pretty sure Thomas has something to do with it. There was a guy in the cupboard, and we're pretty sure he did that too!
:'''Mordecai''': I think we stumbled on something really big.
:'''Benson''': What guy? What are you talking a—?
:''[Natalie enters the room, clapping slowly]''
:'''Natalie''': ''[Russian accent]'' I know you Americans love the ironic slow clap.
:'''Benson''': Natalie? What's with the accent? What is all this?
:'''Natalie''': I am not Natalie! I am... ''(Takes Her Clothes Off)'' Natalia! And I am not lowly preschool teacher! I am Russian spy!
:'''Mordecai &amp; Rigby''': Whoa!
:'''Natalia''': So clever, you Americans — only took two years to figure out things at park were not what they seem. And I am not only one right under your ignorant noses. One of your own has been conspiring against you.
:'''Benson''': What?! Who would do that?! Natalie, you're acting crazy!
:'''Natalia''': Oh, sweet Benson. Why don't you let him tell you yourself? ''Nikolai''!!
:''[Thomas enters the room. Benson, Mordecai and Rigby gasp]''
:'''Benson''': Thomas, why'd you step out when she called for &quot;Nikolai&quot;?
:'''Thomas''': ''[Russian accent]'' Because my name is not Thomas. It is Nikolai. And I am Russian spy.

===''Merry Christmas, Mordecai'' [6.12]===
:'''Mordecai:''' ''(imagining Margaret and CJ meeting each other at the Christmas party)'': CJ, this is Margaret. My girlfriend. ''(the ground gives way beneath him)'' I mean, my ex-girlfriend. ''(the hole gets deeper)'' I mean, a girl I kissed a bunch in the past who's my friend. ''(the hole gets even deeper)'' Should I stop talking now? ''(Screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups)''
:'''CJ:''' I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai!
:'''Margaret:''' Yeah, way to make things weird!
:'''Mordecai:''' ''(screaming)'' '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!'''
:''(Flashback ends)''
:'''Mordecai:''' ''(In reality)'' ''NO!!''

===''Sad Sax'' [6.13]===
===''Park Managers' Lunch'' [6.14]===
===''Mordecai and Rigby Down Under'' [6.15]===
:''[Benson in his office writing on a paper, then his phone rings and he answers it]''
:'''Benson''': Hello, this is Benson.
:'''Voice''': Will you accept a collect call from... ''[Mordecai and Rigby are panicking on the phone for help]''
:'''Benson''': ''[sighs]'' Accept.
:'''Mordecai''': Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, Oh, my gosh! We're in trouble, man. Benson, we're in Australia!
:'''Benson''': Haha, very funny, guys. Listen up, I missed you at work yesterday. If you don't come in Monday, don't bother coming in at all. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Rigby''': What did he say?
:'''Mordecai''': If we don't come in to work on Monday, we're fired.
:'''Rigby''': Aw, man.
:'''Mordecai''': Dude, come on. We need to get to an airport.

===''Married and Broke'' [6.16]===
===''I See Turtles'' [6.17]===
:'''CJ''': Where do we turn off next, Eileen?
:'''Eileen''': ''(while looking in her bag)'' Hold on, let me check the directions! ''(finds some trail mix)'' Trail Mix? Oh no! This is my recreation bag! I left the directions in my school bag by mistake!
:'''Rigby''': ''(Takes the trail mix from Eileen)'' Wump-wump! ''(eats the trail mix)''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sea Turtle''': Let's see if these pigs can fly.
:'''Hank''': Huh?
:'''Sea Turtle''': Do you see what I did there?

===''Format Wars II'' [6.18]===
===''Happy Birthday Song Contest'' [6.19]===
===''Benson's Suit'' [6.20]===
:'''Benson''': ''[woefully burying his stained suit]'' Suit, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me feel... ''[eats chicken wing]'' alive, full of... power, full of strong...ness! To you, suit—may we meet again in the next life.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Benson''': This is either a miracle or I've gone insane. But who cares? I look good!
:'''Suit''': ''[spoke]'' &quot;''You sure do, Benson.''&quot;
:'''Benson''': Thanks. Wha?! Who said that?
:'''Suit''': &quot;''It's me, Benson, the suit.''&quot;
:'''Benson''': You... can talk?
:'''Suit''': &quot;''I can do many things.''&quot;
:'''Benson''': Why didn't you say anything before now?
:'''Suit''': &quot;''I wanted to be certain that you were worthy. Incompetence aside, you showed me that you cared about me when you tried to clean that stain. I was created for a dark purpose, Benson. To be a status symbol for evil men—evil, mysterious, powerful, handsome, wealthy men. But after these last few days, I've realised that I would rather be worn by someone with absolutely none of those qualities. I want to live a simple life as the suit of a simple man. You are that man, Benson.''&quot;
:'''Benson''': Cool.
:'''Suit''': &quot;''I'll never leave you, Benson. Also, if you're interested, I have a few ideas for keeping Mordecai and Rigby in line.''&quot;
:'''Benson''': Let's go manage a park.

===''Gamers Never Say Die'' [6.21]===
===''1000th Chopper Flight Party'' [6.22]===
''[Mordecai looks out and sees CJ on the ground, looking devastated]''
:'''Mordecai''': ''[gasps]'' Uh, I can't be here, I-I gotta hang with CJ. ''[takes off his seat belt and stands up]'' CJ, hi! ''[the chopper jerks, making Mordecai lose balance and fall on Margaret's lap]''
:'''CJ''': ''(angrily)'' Oh, ''come on''! Did you think I wouldn't find out, that you could just make a fool of me forever?! ''[Turns into a full on storm cloud and flies towards the chopper]'' This is the '''LAST TIME'''! ''[As CJ threatens, the camera crew is recording the whole thing]''

===''Party Horse'' [6.23]===
===''Men in Uniform'' [6.24]===
===''Garage Door'' [6.25]===
:'''Benson''': (whistling, sighs) How many times do I have to tell them? Close the garage door when you're finished painting it! (shuts the garage door) What the...? Didn't I just close that? (opens the garage door, then closes it then growls)
:'''Pops''': Coming through!
:'''Benson''': Pops, no!
:(Pops' car crashes into the garage door)
:'''Pops''': Bad... show.
:'''Benson''': MORDECAI &amp; RIGBY!!!
&lt;hr width=100%&gt;
:'''Rigby''': Pops, are you okay?
:'''Pops''': (groans) Optical illusion.
:'''Fireman''': Don't worry, sir! Thanks to the jaws of life, you'll never get trapped in an enclosed space again.
:'''Mordecai and Rigby''': Whoa!
:'''Rigby''': Where'd you get that?
:'''Fireman''': It came with the truck.
:'''Benson''': What were you two thinking?!
:'''Rigby''': It was just a joke!
:'''Mordecai''': Yeah, we were going to paint over it after our break!
:'''Benson''': Well, how's this for a joke? BUY A NEW GARAGE DOOR BY THE END OF THE DAY OR YOU'RE FIRED.!!!!!

===''Brilliant Century Duck Crisis Special'' [6.26-6.27]===
===''Not Great Double Date'' [6.28]===
===''Death Kwon Do-Livery'' [6.29]===
===''Lunch Break'' [6.30]===
:'''Benson''': (Laughs calmly then laughs angrily)
:'''Mordecai and Rigby''': (Laughing)
:'''Benson''': This sandwich cost me $85!
:'''Rigby''': But you said we could order any sandwich we wanted!
:'''Benson''': I did. I said that. Now listen to ME as I say this. If you two don't eat this entire the sandwich by the end of the day, YOU'RE FIRED.

===''Dumped at the Altar'' [6.31]===

==External links==

{{wikipedia|Regular Show}}

[[Category:Regular Show seasons]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Stranger Things</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>188549</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154537</id>
      <parentid>3154458</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:28:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2601:1C0:4380:43F0:9192:A388:4CD4:3773|2601:1C0:4380:43F0:9192:A388:4CD4:3773]] ([[User talk:2601:1C0:4380:43F0:9192:A388:4CD4:3773|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C0:4380:43F0:9192:A388:4CD4:3773|contributions]]) to last version by 87.38.66.5</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="93943" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Stranger Things|Stranger Things]]''''' is an American TV series created by the [[w:Duffer brothers|Duffer brothers]] for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]]. It revolves the investigation into the disappearance of a young boy by his friends, older brother and traumatized mother and the local police chief, amid supernatural events occurring around the town, including the appearance of a psychokinetic girl who helps the missing boy's friends in their own search.

== Season 1 ==
=== ''Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers'' [1.01] ===
:'''Mike''': Something's coming. Something hungry for blood. A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness. It is almost here.
:'''Will''': It was a seven. The roll, it was a seven. The demogorgon - it got me. See you tomorrow

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': Flo, Flo, we've discussed this, mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that's ever happened here in the four years I've been working here? Do you wanna know the worst thing? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie's head because it thought that her hair was a nest.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': Guys, I really think we should turn back.
:'''Lucas''': Seriously Dustin? You want to be a baby, then go home already!
:'''Dustin''': I'm just being realistic, Lucas!
:'''Lucas''': No you're being a big sissy!
:'''Dustin''': Did you ever think maybe Will went missing because he ran into something bad? And we're going to the exact same spot where he was last seen? And we have no weapons or anything?
:'''Mike''': Dustin shut up…
:'''Dustin''': I'm just saying: does that seem smart to you?
:'''Mike''': Shut up, shut up... did you guys hear that?
:'''Hopper''': Okay, okay, okay, one at a time, all right?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Troy''': Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show.
:'''Troy''': Who do you think would make more money in a freak show? Midnight, Frogface, or Toothless?
:'''James''': ''[mimicking Dustin]'' I'd go with Toothless. 
:'''Dustin''': I told you a million times my teeth are coming in. It's called cleidocranial dysplasia.
:'''James''': ''[mimicking Dustin]'' I told you a million times.
:'''Troy''': ''[chuckles]'' Do the arm thing. 
:'''James''': Do it, freak. 
:''[Dustin cracking and flexing his bone]''
:'''Troy''': God, it gets me every time. 
:'''Lucas''': Assholes.
:'''Mike''': I think it's cool. It's like you have superpowers or something. Like Mr. Fantastic. 
:'''Dustin''': Yeah, except I can't fight evil with it.

=== ''Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street'' [1.02] ===
:'''Dustin''': ''[to Eleven]'' We never would've upset you if we knew you had superpowers.

=== ''Chapter Three: Holly Jolly'' [1.03] ===
:'''Dustin''': Why do we need weapons? We have her.
:'''Lucas''': She shut ONE door!!!
:'''Dustin''': With her mind!

=== ''Chapter Four: The Body'' [1.04] ===
:'''Jonathan''': People don't say what they're really thinking.

=== ''Chapter Five: The Flea and the Acrobat'' [1.05] ===
:'''Jonathan''': Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Scott Clarke''': Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving.

=== ''Chapter Six: The Monster'' [1.06] ===
:'''Troy ''': ''[Holding Dustin at knife point]'' ''Jump.'' Or Toothless here gets an early trip to the dentist!
:'''Dustin''': No! N- ''[he stops talking as Troy holds the blade near his eyes]''
:'''Troy''': I'll cut him, right now!
:'''Mike''': Alright, just hold on! Hold on!
:'''Dustin''': Mike, don't do it!  I don't need my baby teeth- Mike!  Mike, ''seriously'', don't!
:''[Mike walks to the edge of the cliff and looks down at the water]''
:'''Dustin''': Mike, don't do it! Don't do it, Mike! 
:'''James''': Troy, I don't think this is a good idea, man.
:'''Dustin''': Mike, don't!
:'''Troy''': Dentist's office opens in ''Five!  Four!  Three! Two!''
:'''Dustin''': ''MIKE!''
:'''Troy''': ''One!''
:''[Mike steps off the cliff and falls. The three boys race to the edge and look over]''
:'''Dustin''': Holy shit.
:''[Mike is suspended in mid-air, halfway down. As they watch, he suddenly begins rising back up]''
:'''Mike''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
:''[He floats over their heads and lands safely on the ground nearby. They hear footsteps and turn to see Eleven walking towards them with a stern look on her face. As Dustin and Mike grin, Troy brandishes his knife at her; Eleven twitches her neck, and James is thrown to the ground.  A sickening crack comes from Troy's arm, causing him to scream and drop the knife.]''
:'''Troy''': AAAAH!  She broke my arm!  
:'''Eleven''': ''[coldly]'' ''Go.''
:'''Troy''': Let's get outta here! Let's go!
:''[He and James run away and trip as they leave]''
:'''Dustin''': ''[gleefully]'' YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU ''BETTER'' RUN! SHE'S OUR FRIEND AND SHE'S ''CRAZY!'' YOU COME BACK HERE, AND SHE'LL KILL YOU! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': El?
:'''Eleven''': ''[crying]'' Mike... I'm sorry.
:'''Mike''': Sorry? What are you sorry for? 
:'''Eleven''': The Gate... ''I'' opened it. ''I'm'' the monster.
:'''Mike''': ''[smiles]'' No El, you're not the monster. You ''saved'' me, do you understand? ''You saved me''.
:''[He pulls her up into a hug, and Dustin puts his arms around them]''

=== ''Chapter Seven: The Bathtub'' [1.07] ===

=== ''Chapter Eight: The Upside Down'' [1.08] ===
:'''Martin Brenner''': Six.
:'''Joyce''': What?
:'''Martin Brenner''': Six. Six people have been taken this week. This thing that took your son... We don't really understand it. But it's behavior is predictable. Like all animals, it eats. It will take more sons. More daughters. I want to save them. I want to save your son. But I can't do that. Not without your help.
:'''Joyce''': Stop. I know who you are. I know what you've done. You took my boy away from me! You left him in that place to die! You faked his death! We had a funeral. We buried him. And now you're asking for my help? Go to hell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Just hold on a little longer, okay? He's gone, the Bad Man's gone. We'll be home soon, and my mom? She'll get you your own bed, and you can eat as many Eggos as you want. And... we can go to the Snow Ball.
:'''Eleven''': ''[weakened]'' Promise?
:'''Mike''': Promise.
:''[There is a loud shriek as the gunfire outside dies down]''
:'''Dustin''': Is it... is it dead?
:''[the door crashes down and the Demogorgon enters the classroom, the lights flickering]''
:'''Mike''': Go, go go go go!!
:'''Dustin''': Get the wrist rocket, get the wrist rocket, ''now!!''
:'''Mike''': Gogogogogo!  Get the rocks, get the rocks, get the rocks!
:'''Dustin''': Getting the rocks!
:'''Lucas''': Gimme one!
:'''Dustin''': Come on! Fire!
:'''Mike''': Kill it, kill it!
:''[Lucas shoots a rock at the Demogorgon and hits it's head, but it only roars with rage]''
:'''Lucas''': Another one!
:'''Dustin''': Kill the bastard!  Kill it now!
:'''Mike''': Kill it!  Gogogogogo!
:''[Lucas fires again, to no effect; the Demogorgon advances on them as Dustin passes Lucas more ammunition]''
:'''Dustin''': Get, get, get- come on, kill it, bastard!
:'''Lucas''': It's not working!
:'''Mike''': Hit him again! Keep going, keep going!
:'''Dustin''': Kill him!  Get, get, get... come on, go, go, go!
:''[Lucas hits the Demogorgon again, to no effect. As he fires a fourth rock, the Demogorgon is suddenly flung across the room by El's powers, slamming against the blackboard. El stands and walks past the shocked boys, her expression fierce]''
:'''Mike''': Eleven, stop!
:''[El uses her powers to push Mike back; she approaches the struggling Demogorgon. As she reaches it, she glances back at Lucas, Dustin and Mike]''
:'''Eleven''': ''[sadly]'' Goodbye, Mike. ''[she turns to the Demogorgon]'' ''No more''.
:''[Both the Demogorgon and El scream as she uses her powers to rip it apart; Lucas, Dustin and Mike cover their ears. When the lights return, El and the Demogorgon have vanished]''
:'''Mike''': El?!  El?!  El!
:'''Lucas''': Eleven!
:'''Dustin''': Eleven!
:'''Mike''': ''[tearful]'' ''El!'' El, where are you?! Eleven? El?

== Season 2 ==
=== ''Chapter One: MADMAX'' [2.01] ===
:'''Lucas''': You're just not nimble enough, but you'll get there someday.  But until then... ''[chuckles]'' Princess Daphne is still mine!
:'''Dustin''':  You know, whatever. I'm still tops on &quot;Centipede&quot; and &quot;Dig Dug&quot;.
:'''Keith''': You sure about that?
:'''Dustin''': Sure about what? You're kidding me, nonononono. Move, move! ''[he checks the top scores on &quot;Centipede&quot; and &quot;Dig Dug&quot;]'' Aw, nonononono- NO! No! Nooo!
:'''Will''': Seven hundred and fifty-one thousand, three hundred points?!
:'''Mike''':  That's impossible!
:'''Dustin''': Who- who's &quot;MADMAX?&quot;
:'''Keith''': Better than ''you''. 
:''[Dustin gives him the finger]''
:'''Will''': Is it ''you?''
:'''Keith''': ''[scoffs]'' You know I despise &quot;Dig Dug&quot;.
:'''Lucas''': Then who is it?
:'''Dustin''': Yeah, spill it, ''Keith''.
:'''Keith''': You want information?  Then I need something in return. ''[grins at Mike]''
:'''Mike''': ''No''. No, no, no, no way! You're ''not'' getting a date with her!
:'''Lucas''': Mike, come on, just get him the date.
:'''Mike''':  I'm not prostituting my sister!
:'''Lucas''': But it's for a good cause!
:'''Dustin''': No, no, don't get him the date. You know what? He's gonna spread his nasty-ass ''rash'' to your whole family!
:'''Keith''':  Acne isn't a rash, and it isn't contagious, you prepubescent wastoid!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': Still no sign?
:'''Lucas''': Jack shit.
:'''Dustin''': (looks at his watch) Aw man, my Mom's gonna murder me!
:'''Lucas''': So go home, I'll radio when she comes.
:'''Dustin''': Oh yeah, nice try. You just want me out of here so you can make your move.
:'''Lucas''': Oh cause you're such a threat.
:'''Dustin''': That's right! She will not be able to resist these pearls. Grrrrrrr! ''[spotting something]'' Ten O'Clock!
:'''Lucas''': What?
:'''Dustin''': Ten O'Clock.
:''[Max comes out arguing with her brother]''
:'''Lucas''': They're arguing! They're arguing!
:'''Dustin''': I I I see that! ''[about binoculars]'' I don't even know why you need those. God, you're so stupid.
:''[Car leaves and Max gives a middle finger at her brother. Dustin and Lucas follow her inside the arcade]''
:'''Lucas''': She's incredible.
:'''Dustin''': She's...
:'''Both''': MADMAX!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hopper arrives at a cabin deep in the woods. He steps over a tripwire as he approaches the door and knocks six times. Several bolts unlatch and the door opens. He walks in, notices the TV is on, and turns it off]''
:'''Hopper''': ''[noticing a half-eaten Eggo waffle on the table]'' Hey, what'd we talk about?
:'''Eleven''': ''[from the next room]'' No signal.
:'''Hopper''': ''[as he sits down]'' What?
:'''Eleven''': No ''signal''. It's eight-one-five. You're late.
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, I lost track of time. I'll signal next time, all right? ''[El enters the room and sits across from him]'' And, uh, it's eight- fifteen, it's not eight-one-five.
:'''Eleven''': Eight... fifteen.
:'''Hopper''': Now, what'd we talk about? Dinner first, ''then'' dessert. Always.  That's a rule, yeah?
:'''Eleven''': Yes.

=== ''Chapter Two: Trick or Treat, Freak'' [2.02] ===
:''[Hopper is cooking breakfast. He turns around and is startled by El wearing a bedsheet over her head.]''
:'''Hopper''': Ahhhh! Jesus.
:'''Eleven''': Ghost.
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, I see that.
:'''Eleven''': Halloween.
:'''Hopper''': Sure is. But right now, it's breakfast, okay? ''[he puts the food on the table]'' Come on, let's eat.
:'''Eleven''': They wouldn't see me.
:'''Hopper''': Who wouldn't see you? ''[sits down]''
:'''Eleven''': The Bad Men.
:'''Hopper''': What are you talking about?
:'''Eleven''': Trick or Treat.
:'''Hopper''': You want to go ''trick-or-treating?'' ''[El nods; after a pause Hopper shakes his head and stands up]'' You know the rules.
:'''Eleven''': Yes, I...
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, so you know the answer.
:'''Eleven''': No, but they wouldn't see me.
:'''Hopper''': Hey, I don't care.
:'''Eleven''': But, they...
:'''Hopper''': ''[puts his hands on her shoulders]'' ''I don't care,'' alright? You go out there, ghost or not, it's a risk. We don't ''take'' risks, alright? They're ''stupid''. And?
:'''Eleven''': ''[angrily]'' We're ''not'' stupid.
:'''Hopper''': Exactly. Now you take that off and sit down and eat. ''[sits down]'' Your food's getting cold.
:''[El does so, looking irritated]''
:'''Hopper''': Alright, look: how 'bout... I get off early tonight, I buy us a bunch of candy, we sit around and get fat, and we watch a scary movie together. How's that for compromise?
:'''Eleven''':  &quot;Co-compromise?&quot;
:'''Hopper''': C-O-M-promise. Compromise? How 'bout that's your word for the day, yeah? It's something that's kinda in-between, something like... half-way happy.
:'''Eleven''': By... five-one-five?
:'''Hopper''': ''[nods]'' Five-fifteen, yeah. Sure.
:'''Eleven''': Promise?
:'''Hopper''': Yes. I promise.
:'''Eleven''': ''[shrugs, nods]'' Half-way happy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy''': God, this place is such a shithole.
:'''Max''':  It's not that bad.
:'''Billy''':  No? ''[buzzes down the window and holds his nose]''  Mmm, you smell that, Max? That's ''actually'' shit. Cow shit!
:'''Max''': I don't see any cows. ''[buzzes the window up again]''
:'''Billy''': Clearly, you haven't met the high school girls. So what, you like it here now?
:'''Max''': No!
:'''Billy''': Then why are you defending it?
:'''Max''': I'm ''not''.
:'''Billy''': Sure ''sounds'' like it.
:'''Max''': It's just, we're stuck here, so...
:'''Billy''': Mm, you're right. We're stuck here. ''[glares at her]'' And whose fault is that?
:'''Max''': ''[under her breath]'' ''Yours''.
:'''Billy''': What'd you say?
:'''Max''': Nothing.
:'''Billy''': Did you say it's ''my'' fault?
:'''Max''': No!
:'''Billy''': You ''know'' whose fault it is.  Say it. ''[pause]'' Maaax... ''say it.''  SAY IT!!!
:''[He floors the gas pedal; Max looks up and is shocked to see Mike, Lucas and Dustin riding directly ahead of Billy's car]''
:'''Dustin''': Really, ''everyone'' dressed up last year.
:'''Max''': Billy, slow down.
:'''Billy''': Oh, these your new ape-friends?
:'''Max''': No! No, I don't know them.
:'''Billy''': Oh, then I guess you won't care if I hit 'em then, huh? I get bonus points, I get 'em all in one go!
:'''Max''': No, Billy, ''stop'', it's not funny.
:''[Dustin notices Billy closing in on them]''
:'''Dustin''': Uh, guys...!
:''[They all try desperately to outrun Billy]''
:'''Max''': Billy, come on, stop! This isn't funny! ''Stop!''
:'''Mike''': Go, go, go, go!
:'''Max''': BILLY, STOP IT!
:'''Dustin''': Oh, shitshitshitshitshit!
:''[Max yanks the steering wheel; at the last minute, Billy's car swerves into the other lane, barely missing the boys]''
:'''Billy''': ''[laughs maniacally]'' WHOOO!  That was a close one, huh?!
:'''Dustin''': Was that...
:'''Lucas''': Madmax!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bob dances with Joyce on Halloween]''
:'''Bob''': You playing Frankenstein to my Dracula? You're stiff as a board; relax.
:'''Joyce''': I'm sorry.  It's just...
:'''Bob''': He's fine, ok? Jonathan's with him.
:'''Joyce''': I know. It's just... every time he's away from me, it's like I- I can't ''function.'' I- it sounds silly, I know.
:'''Bob''': No, it's not silly. It's not silly. ''[pause]'' What if we were to move out of Hawkins? Together?
:'''Joyce''': What?
:'''Bob''': ''[grins]'' Yeah, Whoa Nellie, right? No, I just- I- I been thinking about what you said. I mean, how you've got all these memories here, and you wish you had enough money to move. My parents are selling their house in Maine. There's a RadioShack nearby; I'm sure they'd take me on. We could just... ''[he sees the worried look on Joyce's face and glances away]'' ''My'' turn to be silly, now.
:'''Joyce''': Bob...
:'''Bob''': No, it's fine; wine makes me crazy.
:'''Joyce''': It's just so hard to explain, it's just- this- this is ''not'' a normal family.
:'''Bob''': Well, it could be. ''[looks at her encouragingly]'' ''Could'' be.
:''[Joyce hugs him; the doorbell sounds]''
:'''Bob''': ''Finally.'' ''[puts in his Dracula fangs and heads for the door]'' Victims!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Will''': ''[discussing his visions]'' It's like... like, I'm stuck.
:'''Mike''': Stuck in the Upside Down?
:'''Will''': Well, you know how in a ViewMaster, when it gets, like...
:'''Mike''': Caught between two slides?
:'''Will''': Yeah, yeah, like that. Like, like one slide's our world, and... and the other... the other slide is the Upside Down. And... and there was this noise. Coming from everywhere. And... I saw something.
:'''Mike''': The Demogorgon?
:'''Will''': ''[shakes his head]'' No. It was like... this huge shadow, in the sky. Only... it was ''alive''... and it was coming for me.
:'''Mike''': Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?
:'''Will''': I don't know. Just... just please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand.
:'''Mike''': ''Eleven'' would.
:'''Will''': She would?
:'''Mike''': ''[smiles]'' Yeah. She always did. Sometimes, I feel like... I still see her. Like she's still around... but she never is. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.
:'''Will''': Me, too.
:'''Mike''': Hey, if we're both going crazy, we'll go crazy together, right?
:'''Will''': ''[smiles]'' Yeah. Crazy together.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[El uses a blindfold and the TV static to enter the mental dimension of the Upside Down and listen to Mike as he tries to contact her on the two-way radio]''
:'''Mike''':  It's Day 353. I had a bad day today. I dunno, I... guess I wish you were here. I mean, we all do. If you're out there, just... ''please'', gimme a sign.
:''[El crouches in front of him in the Upside Down. For a moment, Mike appears to meet her eyes.]''
:'''Eleven''': Mike?
:'''Mike''': Eleven?
:''[El reaches out to try to touch his face, but after a moment Mike irritably shuts off the radio and walks away. In the real world, El pulls off the blindfold and cries silently]''

=== ''Chapter Three: The Pollywog'' [2.03] ===
:''[In a flashback, as Hopper and El set up the defenses around the cabin]''
:'''Hopper''': Okay. This is called a tripwire. It's like an alarm. You, uh, set it up like this... and then, anybody gets close, it's gonna make a loud noise like, uh, gunfire. ''Bang.'' ''[pause]'' Those bad men aren't gonna find you, alright? Not way the hell out here. But we'll take some precautions. There's gonna be a couple ground rules. Rule number one: always keep the curtains drawn.
:''[In the present, El opens the curtains]''
:'''Hopper''': Rule number two: only open the door, if you hear my secret knock. ''[demonstrates]''
:''[In the present, El unbolts the door with her powers]''
:'''Hopper''': And rule number three: Don't ''ever'' go out alone... especially not in the daylight.
:''[in the present, El steps out onto the sunlit porch]''
:'''Hopper''': That's it. Three rules. I call 'em the, uh... &quot;Don't be stupid&quot; rules. 'Cause we're not stupid, alright?
:''[In the present, El walks away from the cabin]''
:'''Eleven''': ''[as she steps over the tripwire]'' ''Not stupid.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steve''': What are you doing here?
:'''Nancy''': What do you think? Where ''were'' you this morning?! I missed first period!
:'''Steve''': I figured Jonathan would take you.
:'''Nancy''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steve''': Jesus, you really can't handle your alcohol. Uh... you remember going to Tina's party last night, right?
:'''Nancy''': Yes.
:'''Steve''': Okay, and then what?
:'''Nancy''': I... remember dancing, and... spilling some punch, you got mad at me because I was drunk and then you took me home.
:'''Steve''': No. Yeah, see, that's where your mind gets a little fuzzy. That was your ''other'' boyfriend, that was-- that was Jonathan.
:'''Nancy''': I don't understand.
:'''Steve''': It's pretty simple, Nancy; you were just telling it like it is.
:'''Nancy''': What?
:'''Steve''': Um... apparently, uh, we killed Barb, and, uh, ''I'' don't care, 'cause I'm &quot;bullshit&quot; and, and our whole relationship is &quot;bullshit&quot;. And, uh, pretty much everything's just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.  Oh, yeah, also... you don't love me.
:'''Nancy''': I was ''drunk'', Steve!  I don't remember any of that!
:'''Steve''': So that makes everything you said just ''what'', just bullshit too?!
:'''Nancy''': Yes!
:'''Steve''': Well then tell me!
:'''Nancy''': Tell you what?!
:'''Steve''': You love me!
:'''Nancy''': Really?
:'''Classmate''': Harrington! Dude, we need you, man; that douchebag's killing us! Let's go!
:'''Steve''': All right!
:'''Classmate''': Come on!
:''[Steve stares at Nancy; when she doesn't answer, he walks away]''
:'''Steve''': I think that ''you're'' bullshit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Dustin shows Mike, Will, Lucas and Max the &quot;pollywog&quot; he found]''
:'''Dustin''': His name is D'Artagnan. ''[picks it up]'' Cute, right?
:'''Mike''': &quot;D'Artagnan?&quot;
:'''Dustin''': Dart, for short.
:'''Max''': And he was in your trash?
:'''Dustin''': Foraging for food. You wanna hold him?
:'''Max''': No, no.
:'''Dustin''': He doesn't bite.
:'''Max''': I don't want to. ''[Dustin drops Dart into her hands]'' Oh, God, he's slimy!
:''[She passes Dart to Lucas]''
:'''Lucas''': Ugh, he's like a living booger! ''[passes Dart to Will]''
:'''Will''': Oh, God, ugh! ''[passes Dart to Mike, who stares at it]''
:'''Mike''': What ''is'' he?
:'''Dustin''': ''[grins]'' My question exactly. At first, I thought it was some type of pollywog.
:'''Max''': &quot;Pollywog?&quot;
:'''Dustin''': It's another word for tadpole. Tadpole is the larval stage of a toad.
:'''Max''': I-I know what a tadpole is.
:'''Dustin''':  Alright, then you know that most tadpoles are aquatic, right? Well, Dart, he isn't, he doesn't need water.
:'''Lucas''': Yeah, but aren't there non-aquatic pollywogs?
:'''Dustin''': Terrestrial pollywogs? Yep, two to be exact. ''Indirana Semiplamata'' and the ''Adenomera Andreae.'' One's from India, one's from South America. So how did one end up in my trash?
:'''Max''': Maybe some scientists brought it here, and it escaped?
:'''Mike''': Did you guys see that?  It looks like something is... ''moving'' inside it.
:''[He shines a lamp directly on Dart, who flinches and shrieks, startling them]''
:'''Dustin''':  Whoa. ''[he grabs Dart as it tries to escape]''  It's okay, it's okay, I got you, little guy. I know you don't like that, it's okay. ''[looks up]'' And there's another thing. Reptiles, they're cold-blooded. Ectothermic, right? They love heat, the sun. Dart ''hates'' it, it hurts him.
:'''Lucas''': So, if he's not a polywog, or a reptile...
:'''Dustin''': Then I've discovered a new species.
:''[As he strokes Dart, Will has flashbacks of the larvae he coughed up last year, as well as the noises from his visions of the Upside Down, which sound just like Dart]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bob''': I'm- I'm sorry if I overstepped anything.  
:'''Joyce''': No! No, you didn't.
:'''Bob''': Okay.  I mean, I... I like you ''so'' much.  Not just you, everything that comes with you. Your family, your boys. And, I hope it's not wishful thinking, but... I kinda feel like I'm breaking through with them. I mean, not so much Jonathan, he's a tough cookie to crack, but...
:'''Joyce''': Yeah.
:'''Bob''':  With Will, like... I dunno, I feel like we're... connecting.
:'''Joyce''': ''[smiles]'' He likes you, too.
:'''Bob''': ''[grins]'' Yeah?
:'''Joyce''': Mm-Hmm. I can tell.
:'''Bob''': Good. Oh, there was... something else I was gonna mention. It's not a big deal at all, but... I just noticed this morning that my JVC was a little dinged up. 
:'''Joyce''': Your- your what?
:'''Bob''': The video camera.  
:'''Joyce''': Oh!
:'''Bob''': Yeah. It still works fine and everything, I just... I went back and watched the tape, and... there were some older kids picking on Will.
:'''Joyce''': ''What?''
:'''Bob''': ''[nods]'' They scared him.
:'''Joyce''': ''[angrily]'' Who were they? Were they the Zimmerman brothers again?
:'''Bob''': Um, I don't know. They were wearing masks or sorta makeup, and... maybe. They were the right age.
:'''Joyce ''': I'll kill them. I swear to God, I will... I will ''kill'' them.
:'''Bob''': ''[smiles]'' That's what I love about you: you punch back. I was never really one to put up a fight. I struggled a lot, like Will, when I was a kid. With bullies. ''[sighs]'' It's the ones like us, that don't punch back, that people ''really'' take advantage of, you know? They rub your nose it it just a ''little'' bit more. I don't know why they do that. Maybe it makes 'em feel... powerful. I don't know. But, hey! Look at me now: I get to date ''Joyce Byers.'' Ha! ''[Joyce laughs]'' Are you kidding me? I get to date... see, it all works out in the end, doesn't it?
:'''Joyce''': Yes, it does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': Grass, crops, trees.  Everything in this area is either dead or dying, and that's a radius of over three ''miles''. And it all leads back to here. ''[taps a map showing Hawkins Lab]''
:'''Dr. Sam Owens''': See, these patterns here are really pretty. I like the design; it's almost psychedelic.
:'''Hopper''': This is a joke to you, huh?
:'''Sam Owens''': No, it's not a joke. I just, I don't understand what this has to do with me, Chief Hopper.
:'''Hopper''': Whatever is happening, is spreading from ''this'' place, from this lab.  
:'''Sam Owens''': That's impossible.  It's... the last burn, it was two days ago. It's ''contained''.
:'''Hopper''': What if there's a leak?
:'''Sam Owens''': A leak? A leak? ''[chuckles, shakes his head]'' No, no, it...
:'''Hopper''': I don't know, man, you're the scientist!
:'''Sam Owens''': Exactly. And I'm tellin' ya, there's nothing to worry about.
:'''Hopper''': Convince me.
:'''Sam Owens''': ''Convince'' you?
:'''Hopper''': ''[stands up angrily]'' Yeah. You and your egghead friends go out to every area on this map, and you run your tests, or whatever the hell it is you do, and you see if anything comes up.
:'''Sam Owens''': ''[smirks]'' All right, so... so ''you're'' giving ''me'' orders, now? No.
:'''Hopper''': I keep things nice and quiet for you.
:'''Sam Owens''': Mm-hmm-
:'''Hopper''': And ''you'' keep your shit outta my town. ''That'' is the deal. I have done my part, now you do yours. Convince me.

=== ''Chapter Four: Will the Wise'' [2.04] ===
:'''Will''': I can't remember.
:'''Joyce''': I need you to try.
:'''Will''': I- I was on the field. And... it all just went blank. And then... you were there.
:'''Joyce''': ''[shakes her head]'' ''Will''... I need you to tell me the truth.
:'''Will''': I am!
:''[Joyce brings over a piece of paper with a rough outline of the &quot;Shadow Monster&quot;]''
:'''Joyce''': This shape. I saw it on the videotape of Halloween Night. It's the same shape as your drawing. These episodes that you're having, I think Doctor Owens is wrong, I think they're real. But- but I can't help you if I don't know what's going on. So, you have to talk to me! Please. No more secrets, okay? ''[Will nods]'' Okay. Did you see this thing again, on the field?
:''[Will has flashbacks of his encounter with the Shadow Monster]''
:'''Will''': ''[nods]''... Yes.
:'''Joyce''': What... what is it?
:'''Will''': ''[tearfully]'' I don't... know. It's almost... more like a feeling.
:'''Joyce''': Like the one you had that night at the arcade?
:'''Will''': ''Yes''.
:'''Joyce''': Wh-what does it want?
:'''Will''': ''[crying]'' I don't... know. It came for me, and...and I tried. I tried to make it go away. But it got me, Mom!
:'''Joyce''': Well, what does that mean?
:'''Will'':  I felt it... everywhere. ''Everywhere''. I- I still feel it! I just want this to be over!
:'''Joyce''': ''[hugs him]'' It's okay, it's okay, hey. Listen, look, look at me. I will never, ever let anything bad happen to you ever again. Whatever's going on in you, we're gonna fix it. ''I'' will fix it. I promise. I'm here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': &quot;Friends don't lie&quot;. Isn't that your little bullshit saying? Hey, ''hey!'' Don't walk away from ME! Where'd you go on your little field trip, huh? ''Where?'' You go see Mike?
:'''Eleven''': ''[sadly]'' He didn't see me.
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, well that mother and her daughter did, and they called the cops. Now: did ''anyone'' else see you? Anyone, at all? Come on, I need you to think!
:'''Eleven''': Nobody saw me!
:'''Hopper''': You put us in danger. You realize that, right?
:'''Eleven''': ''You'' promised... I'd go! And I ''never'' leave! ''Nothing'' ever happens!
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, nothing happens and you stay SAFE!
:'''Eleven''': You LIE!
:'''Hopper''': I don't lie, I ''protect!'' And I feed, and I teach! And all I ask of you, is that you follow three simple rules! Three rules! And you know what? You CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!! [El then bangs her hands on the dresser] ''[pause]'' You're grounded! You know what that means? It means no Eggos... [he throws a pack of Eggos waffles out of the freezer] ...and no TV for a week!
:''[Hopper tries to move the TV, but El holds it in place with her powers]''
:'''Hopper''': Alright, knock it off, let go. ''[El shakes her head, and he tries to move it again]'' Okay, two weeks. ''[he tries again]'' ''Let go!'' ''[El shakes her head]'' A month!
:'''Eleven''': ''No!''
:'''Hopper''': Well, congratulations. You just graduated from no TV for a month, to no TV at all!
:''[He rips the power cord in two]''
:'''Eleven''': NO! No, no... no! ''[she tries to fix it]''
:'''Hopper''':  You have ''got'' to understand that there are consequences to your actions-
:'''Eleven''': YOU are like Papa!
:'''Hopper''': ''[hurt and furious]'' Really? I'm like that psychotic son of a bitch? Well, all right. You wanna go back in the lab? One phone call, I can make that happen.
:'''Eleven''': I ''hate'' you!
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, well I'm not so crazy about you, either. Know why? 'Cause you're a brat. You know what that word means? How 'bout that be your word for the day, huh? Brat: why don't we look it up?  B-R-A-T. Brat.
:''[He tosses the dictionary to her, but she slams it into him with her powers]''
:'''Hopper''': Hey! What the Hell is wrong with you? ''[El uses her powers to ram the couch into his leg]'' Ahhh! Hey, ''HEY!''
:''[El uses her powers to knock over a bookcase, then storms into her room and slams the door shut]''
:'''Hopper''': Hey! Hey! ''Open this door!'' Open this damn door!
:''[Inside, El sits against the wall, sobbing]''
:'''Hopper''': You wanna go out in the world?! You better grow up! GROW THE HELL UP!
:''[El screams, and her powers shatter all the windows, startling Hopper, and she starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Scott Clarke''': All living things, from complex mammals to single-celled organisms, instinctively respond to danger. Expose a bacterium to a toxic chemical and it will flee, or deploy some other defense mechanism. We're very much the same. When we encounter danger, our hearts start pounding. Our palms start to sweat. These are the signs of the physical and emotional state we call... &quot;fear.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sam Owens''': &quot;Men of science have made abundant mistakes of every kind.&quot; [[George Sarton]] said that. You guys know who George Sarton is?  Doesn't really matter. The point is, mistakes have been made, yes.
:'''Nancy''': &quot;Mistakes?!&quot;
:'''Sam Owens''': Yes.
:'''Nancy''': You ''killed'' Barbara!
:'''Sam Owens''': &quot;Abundant mistakes&quot;.  But, the men involved in those mistakes, the ones responsible for what happened to your brother and... Ms. Holland's death, they're gone. They're gone, and for better or for worse, I'm the schmuck they brought in to make things better. But I ''can't'' make things better without your help.
:'''Nancy''': You mean, without us shutting up?
:'''Sam Owens''': ''[to Jonathan, indicating Nancy]'' She's tough, this one. You guys been together long?
:'''Jonathan''': We're not together.
:'''Sam Owens''': Wanna see what really killed your friend?
:''[They enter the chamber holding the portal to the Upside Down]''
:'''Sam Owens''': Teddy, I brought you an audience today. Hope you don't mind.
:'''Teddy''': The more the merrier, sir.
:'''Sam Owens''': ''[gestures at the  tendrils coming out of the portal]'' I call it, &quot;One Hell of a Mistake.&quot; Wouldn't you? See, the thing is, we can't seem to... ''erase'' our mistake. But we ''can'' stop it from spreading. It's like pulling weeds. But, imagine for a moment, if a foreign state, let's say, the Soviets, if they heard about our mistake. Do you think they would even consider that a mistake? What if they tried to replicate that?  
:''[A man with a protective suit and a flamethrower approaches the portal]''
:'''Sam Owens''': The more attention we draw to ourselves, the more... the more people like the Hollands know the truth, the more likely that scenario becomes. You see why I have to stop the ''truth'' from spreading, too... same as those weeds, there. By whatever means necessary.  
:''[The man begins incinerating the tendrils]''
:'''Sam Owens''': So... we understand each other now.  Don't we?

=== ''Chapter Five: Dig Dug'' [2.05] ===
:'''Mrs. Sinclair''': ''[noticing Erica is using too much syrup]'' That's enough, Erica.
:'''Erica Sinclair''': Uh-uh!
:'''Lucas Sinclair''': Dad?
:'''Mr. Sinclair''': ''[reading his paper]'' Mm-hm?
:'''Lucas Sinclair''': When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her ''not'' mad?
:'''Mrs. Sinclair''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Hmm, that's a great question.  How ''do'' you, hon?
:'''Mr. Sinclair''': ''[not looking up from his paper]'' First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants.
:'''Lucas''':  Even when she's wrong?
:'''Mr. Sinclair''': ''[folds his paper down and looks at Lucas]'' ...She's ''never'' wrong, Son.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Bob sees the pictures Will, Mike and Joyce have been laying around the house, depicting Will's visions from the Shadow Monster.]''
:'''Bob''': ''[startled]'' ...Huh. Hmm. ''[to Will]'' You drew all these, yourself? ''[Will and Joyce both nod]''... Why, exactly?
:'''Joyce''': I, I told you the rules.  No questions, okay? ''[Bob nods]''  We, we just... need you to help us figure out what- Bob? Bob!  Over here! ''[Bob, Will and Mike follow her to a drawing showing an intersection, which she draws an X on]''  Where... where this is.
:'''Mike''':  That's the objective.  Find the X.
:'''Bob''':  Yeah?  What's at the X?  Pirate treasure? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Joyce''': ''[gives him a look]'' Bob? ''No questions''.
:'''Bob''': Okay. ''[pause]'' Lemme talk to you for just a second.  Hang on, guys. ''[he takes her aside]'' Joyce, you can talk to me.  You know that, right?
:'''Joyce''': ...Yeah.  What's the problem, exactly?
:'''Bob''': What's the problem?  Joyce... Will doesn't look well.  ''You'' don't look well.  What's going on?
:'''Joyce''': Nothing!  Nothing-
:'''Bob''': Is this an episode?  Is this one of Will's episodes?
:'''Joyce''': No! ''[scoffs]'' No, no...
:'''Bob''':  I'm sorry.  I just, I don't... see how any of this is ''good'' for Will, or for you.  And even if I wanted to play along, I mean, how could I figure anything out if I don't understand the context of the game? Or... ''[he notices some of the pictures]''
:'''Joyce''': What?  What is it?
:'''Bob''': I ''know'' that shape.  It's Lover's Lake. it's Lover's Lake!  I get it. ''[turns to another set of pictures]'' Okay, I get it! ''That's'' Lake Jordan. ''[moves through the house, Joyce follows as Will and Mike watch]'' And, if that's Lake Jordan, then you can probably find...''[snaps his fingers]'' Yeah! That's, uh Sattler's Quarry, and then, if you just follow it naturally...it moves to... the Eno River. And there it is! That's the Eno, do you see it? ''[Joyce frowns]'' Okay, so the lines aren't roads. But they ''act'' like roads. And they act like roads 'cause when you follow 'em, you'll see... they don't go over ''water.'' And that's the giveaway. That's the giveaway! ''[claps his hands]'' Ha! Don't you get it?  It's not a puzzle. It's a ''map''. It's a map of Hawkins!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Becky takes Eleven upstairs and shows her the nursery Terry made for her originally; Eleven picks up a teddy bear from the crib]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[whispers] Pretty.''
:'''Becky Ives''': I can get you a ''real'' bed and you can stay here with me, if you want.  How's that sound? ''[Eleven nods]''  I want to help you, but to do that, I ''need'' you to talk to me, okay?  Doesn't have to be now, doesn't have to be today.  But when you're ready. Okay?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[turns around]''... Okay.
:''[One of the hall lights starts to flicker, catching Eleven's attention]''
:'''Becky Ives''': ''[noticing]'' Oh, yeah, that.  That happens sometimes. ''[they come into the hall]'' Old house, bad wiring. ''[Another light flickers]'' Or if you ask my crazy Aunt Shirley, it's... ''[she notices Eleven following the lights]'' haunted.
:''[A series of lights flicker as Eleven comes down the stairs, followed by Becky.  Eleven looks around the kitchen until she sees a lamp flickering]''
:'''Becky Ives''': Sweetie, really, it's just the wiring.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven]''': No. ''[she turns and heads into the living room, where a lamp is flickering right next to Terry]'' It's Mama. ''[she kneels next to her and wipes blood from Terry's nose]''
:'''Terry Ives''': Sunflower. Rainbow. Three to the right. Four to the left.
:'''Becky Ives''': ''[following Eleven]''  I... I don't understand.
:'''Terry Ives''': Four-fifty.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': She knows I'm here.
:''[The TV channel suddenly begins changing rapidly until there is nothing but static]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': She wants to talk.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucas''': ''[telling Max about their adventure with Eleven]'' And that was the last we ever saw of her.  After that, she was just, ''gone''.  I can't believe it's been that long.  Feels like yesterday.
:'''Max''': ''[sarcastically]'' Yeah, I mean, I bet.  Wow.
:'''Lucas''': It's crazy, I know.
:'''Max''': It's crazy, but... I really liked it.
:'''Lucas''': Liked it?
:'''Max''':  Yeah. Well, I, I had a ''few'' issues.
:'''Lucas''': ''[confused]'' &quot;Issues?&quot;
:'''Max''': I just felt it was a little derivative, in parts, but-
:'''Lucas''': What are you talking about?
:'''Max''': ''[sneers]'' I just wish it had a little more originality, that's all.
:'''Lucas''':  You don't believe me.
:'''Max''': Lucas, come on. Seriously? How gullible do you think I am?
:'''Lucas''': Why would I make this up?
:'''Max''': I don't know.  To impress me, or something? Or, you're just, like... ''insane.''
:'''Lucas''': ''[angrily]'' I tell you all of this! I mean, top-secret stuff! Risking my life!  And ''this'' is how you react?
:'''Max''': ''[scoffs]'' &quot;Risking your life?&quot;
:'''Lucas''': Oh, so this is funny to you?
:'''Max''': Yeah. I mean... ''kind'' of funny. ''[Lucas glares at her, she gets up] Stupid''... but funny.
:'''Lucas''': Where are you going?
:'''Max''': Story time's over, isn't it? ''[she walks back into the Arcade, Lucas follows her]''
:'''Lucas''': What's ''wrong'' with you? I gave you what you wanted.
:'''Max''': I ''wanted'' to be a part of the group, not a part of some ''joke''.
:'''Lucas''': It's ''not'' a joke.
:'''Max''': You did a good job, okay?  You can go tell the others that I believed your lies, if it gets you &quot;experience points&quot; or whatever. :''[she tries to walk away, but Lucas grabs her arm]''
:'''Lucas''': We have a lot of rules in our party, but the most important is, &quot;Friends don't lie.&quot; Never ever, no matter what.
:'''Max''': ''[sarcastically]'' Is that right? ''[pulls the &quot;Out of Order&quot; sign off the Dig Dug console and slaps it on his chest]'' Then how do you explain this?
:'''Lucas''': ''[sighs]'' I had to do that. To protect you-
:'''Max''': ''[angrily]'' To protect me from ''who'', exactly?! The big, bad government baddies from Hawkins Lab?!
:'''Lucas''': ''[glancing around nervously]'' Lower your voice- 
:'''Max''': Or, maybe it was to protect me from the &quot;Demagorgon&quot; from another dimension!
:'''Lucas''': Max, I'm serious, ''shut up!''
:'''Max''': Oh, no, no, no! You know what it was? It was Eleven, the girl-
:'''Lucas''': ''[clamps his hand over her mouth, leans forward and locks eyes with her] Stop talking. You're going to get us killed.  Do you understand?''
:'''Max''': ''[pulls his hand down and stares at him]'' ... You're ''serious?''
:'''Lucas''': I ''really'' wish I wasn't.
:'''Max''': ...Prove it.
:'''Lucas''': I can't.
:'''Max''': So, what?  I'm just supposed to trust you?
:'''Lucas''': ''Yes.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jonathan and Nancy are playing their recording of their conversation with Dr. Owens for Murray Bauman, having told him what happened last year.]''
:'''Nancy''': So, is it... enough? ''[Murray looks up at her]'' The tape recording, is it enough? Is it incriminating?
:''[Murray gets up and wanders back into his kitchen; he starts pouring a glass of Russian vodka]''
:'''Nancy''': What are you doing?!
:'''Murray Bauman''': ''Thinking.''
:'''Nancy''': With ''vodka?''
:'''Murray Bauman''': It's a central nervous system depressant.  So ''yes'', with vodka. ''[shakes it, then goes back to the living room and pulls out a record]''
:'''Nancy''': Music?  Really?
:'''Murray Bauman''': ''Yes''. It helps me... ''[sets the record in the phonograph]''
:'''Jonathan''': What, ''think?''
:''[Murray nods, turns on the phonograph; jazz begins playing as he walks around the room.]''
:'''Nancy''': ''[skeptically]'' How long is this gonna take?
:'''Murray Bauman''': Longer, if you keep ''talking.''
:'''Nancy''': Is the tape incriminating or not?! It's a simple question.
:'''Murray Bauman''': Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! ''[turns around]'' There's nothing ''simple'' about it, nothing simple about anything you've told me!
:'''Jonathan''': You don't believe us, do you?
:'''Murray Bauman''':  ''I'' believe you, but that's not the ''problem.'' You don't need ''me'' to believe you, you need ''them'' to believe you.
:'''Jonathan''': &quot;Them?&quot;
:'''Murray Bauman''': &quot;Them.&quot;  With a capitol T. ''[waves at his various TV sets]'' Your priest, your postman, your teacher, the world at large. ''[scoffs]'' They won't believe any of this.
:'''Nancy''': That's why we made the tape!
:'''Murray Bauman''': Oh, that's easy to bury.  Easy!
:'''Nancy''': He admits it!  You heard it, he admits culpability!
:'''Murray Bauman''': You're being naive, Nancy!  Those people... they're not wired like me and you, okay?  They don't spend their lives trying to get a look at what's behind the curtain. ''[chuckles]'' They ''like'' the curtain.  It provides them stability, comfort, definition. This... this would open the curtain, and open the curtain behind ''that'' curtain, okay? So the ''minute'' someone with an ounce of authority calls &quot;bullshit&quot;, everyone will nod their heads and say, &quot;See? Ha! I knew it! It ''was'' bullshit!&quot; That is, if you even get their attention at all!
:'''Nancy''': So you're saying we did all this for ''nothing?''
:'''Murray Bauman''': I'm saying, I'm thinking! ''[takes a gulp of vodka, grimaces]'' Oof! 
:''[he goes back to the kitchen, starts opening a bottle of club soda, then pauses; Jonathan turns to Nancy]''
:'''Jonathan''': This is ridiculous.  
:'''Murray Bauman''':... That's it. That's it!
:'''Nancy''': What's it?
:'''Murray Bauman''':  It's just too strong. Too strong! ''[adds soda to his vodka, takes a sip and nods]'' Better. 
:''[He adds more soda, takes another drink. He nods, then looks up at Nancy.]''
:'''Murray Bauman''': ...''Perfect. [grins]''
:'''Nancy''': ''[suddenly smiles]'' We water it down!
:'''Murray Bauman''': ''[points at her]'' Precisely!
:'''Jonathan''': Wait, what?
:'''Murray Bauman''': Your story.  We moderate it.  Just like this drink here.  We make it more ''tolerable. [starts pouring more vodka sodas] Perhaps'' Barbara was exposed to some... dangerous toxins.
:'''Nancy''': A leak from the lab!  Like, Three Mile Island, or something.
:'''Murray Bauman''': Something scary, but familiar! ''[passes her and Jonathan drinks]'' Close enough, that it hits the man right where it hurts.
:'''Nancy''': And those assholes that killed Barb...
:'''Murray Bauman''': They'll go down. ''[lifts his glass in a toast, Jonathan and Nancy follow suit]''

=== ''Chapter Six: The Spy'' [2.06] ===
:'''Steve''': Alright, so let me get this straight: you kept something that you ''knew'' was probably dangerous in order impress a girl? Who, you you just met?
:'''Dustin''': Alright, that's ''grossly'' oversimplifying things
:'''Steve''': I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug, anyway?
:'''Dustin''': An inter-dimensional slug?!  Because it's ''awesome''.
:'''Steve''':  Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn't, I- I just... I don't know, I just feel like you're trying way too hard, man.
:'''Dustin''':  Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, alright?!
:'''Steve''':  It's not about the ''hair'', man. The key with girls is just... acting like you don't care.
:'''Dustin''': Even if you do?
:'''Steve''':  Yeah, exactly. Drives 'em nuts.
:'''Dustin''': Then what?
:'''Steve''': You just wait, until uh... until you feel it. ''[elbows him]''
:'''Dustin''':  Feel what?
:'''Steve''': It's like before it's gonna storm, you know? You can't see it, but you can feel it, this, uh... electricity, you know?
:'''Dustin''': Oh, like in the electromagnetic field, with the clouds in the atmosphere-
:'''Steve''': No, no, no, no, no. Like a, like a sexual electricity.
:'''Dustin''': Oh.
:'''Steve''': You feel ''that'', and then you make your move.
:'''Dustin''': So that's when you kiss her?
:'''Steve''': No, whoa, whoa!  Slow down, Romeo.
:'''Dustin''': Sorry.
:'''Steve''': Sure, okay, some girls... yeah, they want you to be aggressive, you know? Strong, hot and heavy, like a... I don't know, like a lion. But others, you gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy. Like a... like a ninja.
:'''Dustin''': What type is Nancy?
:'''Steve''': ''[shortly]'' Nancy's different. She's different than the other girls.
:'''Dustin''': Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess.
:'''Steve''': Yeah. Yeah, she is.
:'''Dustin''': But... this girl's special too, you know? It's just, like... something about her.
:'''Steve''': Whoa whoa whoa, hey. You're not falling in love with this girl, are you?
:'''Dustin''': No, no.
:'''Steve''': Okay, good. Don't.
:'''Dustin''': I won't.
:'''Steve''': She's only gonna break your heart, and you're way too young for that shit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Hopper:''' Hey, it's, uh It's me. I know that I've been gone too long, and, uh... It's- I just, I want you to know that it's not about you and it's not about our fight. Okay? Something came up, and I will... I will explain it all when I see you. I just I want you to know that I'm not mad. I'm just sorry. About everything. I... I don't want you to get hurt at all. And I don't wanna lose you. Just make sure you heat up some real food. Not just Eggos. And I want you to eat all the peas, even if they're mushy and gross. And I will be home soon.

=== ''Chapter Seven: The Lost Sister'' [2.07] ===
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I'm looking for my sister.
:'''Axel''': Aww, [[w:Shirley Temple|Shirley Temple]] lost her sister; ''so'' sad.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I saw her.  Here. ''[reaches into her bag]''
:'''Funshine''': Uh-uh!  Hand outta pocket. ''Slow''.
:''[El holds out the photo]''
:'''Axel''': Gimme that shit.
:''[He grabs it, then stares at El in shock]''
:'''Mick''': Is that Kali?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': &quot;Kali?&quot;
:'''Axel''': How'd you find us?  Who else knows you're here?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': No one.
:'''Axel''': So what, then? Poof? You just show up like magic, with that picture?
:'''Mick''': Stay calm, she's just a kid.
:'''Axel''': A kid who could get us all killed! ''[draws a switchblade]'' If I have to ask again, Shirley, you're gonna start losing things, startin' with those pretty little ''locks'' of yours, yeah?
:'''Mick''': Come on, Axe, put down the knife!
:'''Axel''': How did you find us?!
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I saw her.
:'''Mick''': Axe!
:'''Axel''': ''[grabs El's arm and raises the knife]'' That's not an answer!
:''[He sees dozens of spiders crawling up his arm, though no one else can]''
:'''Axel''': Jesus, Jesus Christ! Get off! Shit, Shit!
:''[he drops the knife and swats at himself, as El and the others stare at him]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': You're a ''terrible'' dancer, Axel.
:''[She walks down the stairs and approaches them]''
:'''Axel''': I told you, stay outta my head!
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': So we're threatening little girls now, are we?
:'''Axel''': She knows about you!
:'''Dottie''': She had this.
:''[She hands the picture to Kali]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Where did you get this?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[takes it back]'' Mama.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Your mother gave this to you?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': In her... dream circle.
:'''Axel''': ''[scoffs]'' &quot;Dream circle&quot;.  I think she's a schizo or something.
:'''Mick''': Says she's looking for her sister.
:'''Axel''': Yeah, like I said, schizo.
:''[He tries to pick up his knife, but El summons it with her powers]''
:'''Mick''': Jesus!
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[handing Kali the knife]'' I saw you. In the rainbow room.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': What is your name?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Jane.
:''[Kali rolls up El's sleeve, revealing her tattoo reading 011. El rolls up Kali's sleeve, revealing a tattoo reading 008.]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Sister.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Sister.
:''[They embrace]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': And this... memory your mother shared, that is your only memory of me?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Yes.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eleven''': And how long have you been with this... Policeman?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Three hundred and twenty-seven days.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': And this policeman, he ''thinks'' he can work out some sort of deal with these men to set you free?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Yes. He says soon.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': He's naive, then. We will always be monsters to them, do you understand? ''[El nods sadly]'' Now let me guess: your policeman, he also stops you from using your gifts? ''[El nods]'' What you can do... is ''incredible''. It makes you very special, Jane.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Wait. Do ''you'' have a gift?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Different. I can make people see, or not see, whatever I choose.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Is that why you made the man with the crazy hair dance?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': ''[laughs]'' Axel is not so fond of spiders, so...
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': You made him see spiders?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': ''[nods]'' But it doesn't have to be scary.
:''[She opens her hand and conjures an illusion of a butterfly that changes colors]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': This butterfly, it isn't real. I've just convinced your mind it is. Think of it as a kind of... magic.
:''[She closes her hand around the butterfly, then opens her fingers to show it has vanished]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Are ''you'' real?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': ''[smiles]'' Yes, I'm real.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Everyone you see here was in some way responsible for what happened to us.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''':... You hurt the Bad Men?
:'''Dottie''': (''sarcastically'') No, we just... give 'em a pat on the back.
:''[Montage of Kali's gang killing a former member of Hawkins Labs]''
:'''Jane Ives''': You... kill them?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': They're criminals.  We simply make them pay for their crimes.
:'''Axel''': Damn, Shirley, what's the matter?  You look like you've seen a ghost.
:'''Dottie''': We can't ''all'' be fighters, I guess.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''I'm'' a fighter.  I've killed.
:''[Flashback of El killing the federal agents who tried to capture her]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': And these men you killed, did they... deserve it?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': They hurt me.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': And they ''still'' want to hurt you.  To hurt us.  We're just making the first move.  Come.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''':  I was once just like you, you know that?  But that's why I'm hard on you, because I ''see'' in you my past mistakes.  
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[sharply]'' They were ''kids''.
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Does that excuse that man's sins?  Were we not also children? (''El looks away'') I remember the day I came to the rainbow room, and you were... gone.  So, when my gifts were strong enough, I used them to escape, and I ran. I ran away as far as I could.  And it was there, far away, that I... I found a place to hide.  A family.  A ''home''.  Just like you and your policeman.  But... they couldn't help me.  So, eventually, I lost them, too.  So, I decided to play the part; to stop hiding.  To ''use'' my gifts against those who hurt us.  You're now faced with the same choice, Jane: go back into hiding and hope they don't find you, or fight, and face them again.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Face who?
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': The man who calls himself our father.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[shakes her head]'' Papa is... ''dead''.
:'''Dr. Martin Brenner''': That man tonight disagreed.
:''[El spins around and sees an illusion of Brenner that Kali is projecting into her mind]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[stands up]'' You're not real.
:'''Martin Brenner (illusion)''': All this time, and you haven't looked for me? Why? Because you thought I was dead? Or because you were afraid of what you might find?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[in tears]'' ''Go away''.
:'''Martin Brenner (illusion)''': You have to confront your pain. You have a ''wound'', Eleven, a terrible wound. And it's festering. Do you remember what that means? Festering? It means... a ''rot''. And it will grow. Spread.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''Get out of my head.''
:'''Martin Brenner (illusion)''': And eventually, it will kill you.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!''
:''[The illusion vanishes, Kali kneels in front of a sobbing El]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': This isn't a prison, Jane.  You're always free to return to your policeman.  Or stay, and avenge your mother.  Let us heal our wounds.  Together.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kali's gang are about to flee after the cops raid their hideout]''
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Jane, get in.
:''[El recalls her visions of Mike and Hopper in trouble]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I have to go back. My friends... my friends are in danger.
:'''Axel''': This isn't time for a talk! We gotta go right now!
:'''Kali Prasad/Eight''': Your mother sent you here for a ''reason'', remember? We belong together. There's nothing for you back there; they cannot save you, Jane!
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': No...But ''I'' can save them.

=== ''Chapter Eight: The Mind Flayer'' [2.08] ===
:'''Sam Owens''': ''[indicating a map]'' This is us, and this is the nearest exit. But even if we somehow make it there, there's no way out.
:'''Hopper''': What do you mean?
:'''Sam Owens''':  The locks are fail secure.
:'''Joyce''': &quot;Fail secure?&quot;
:'''Sam Owens''': If there's a power outage, the building goes on full lockdown.
:'''Bob''': Can it be unlocked remotely?
:'''Sam Owens''': With a computer, sure, but somebody's gotta re-set the breakers.  
:'''Hopper''': Where are the breakers?
:'''Sam Owens''': Breakers are in the basement, three floors down.
:''[Hopper heads for the door]''
:'''Bob''': Hey, where are you going?
:'''Hopper''': To reset the breakers.
:'''Bob''': Okay, then what?
:'''Hopper''': Then we get the Hell out of here.
:'''Bob''': No, then the power comes back on. If you wanna unlock the doors, you have to completely reboot the computer system, and then override the security codes with a manual input.
:'''Hopper''': Fine, how do I do that?
:'''Bob''':  You can't! Not unless you know BASIC.
:'''Hopper''': I don't know what that means.
:'''Mike''': It's a computer-program language.
:'''Hopper''': Alright, teach it to me.
:'''Bob''': ''[sarcastically]'' Shall I teach you ''French'' while I'm at it, Jim? How 'bout a little German? How 'bout you, Doc? You speak BASIC?
:'''Sam Owens''': No.
:'''Bob''': Okay... I got this. I got this.
:'''Joyce''': No, Bob.
:'''Bob''': It's okay. ''[hugs her]'' It's gonna be okay. Remember: Bob Newby, superhero.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Did you guys know that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV Club?
:'''Lucas''': Really?
:'''Mike''': He petitioned the school to start it, and everything. And then he had a fund-raiser for equipment. Mr. Clarke learned ''everything'' from him. Pretty awesome, right?
:'''Dustin''': Yeah.
:'''Mike''': We can't let him die in vain.
:'''Dustin''': Well, what do you wanna do, Mike? Alright, the Chief's right on this; we can't stop those Demo-dogs on our own.
:'''Max''': &quot;Demo-dogs?&quot;
:'''Dustin''': Demogorgon, dogs. Demo-dogs. It's like a compound, it's like a play on words-
:'''Max''': ''Okay''.
:'''Dustin''': I mean, when it was just Dart, maybe.
:'''Lucas''': But there's an ''army'' now.
:'''Dustin''': Precisely.
:'''Mike''': ''His'' army.
:'''Steve''': What do you mean?
:'''Mike''': ''[holding up the drawing of the Shadow Monster]'' ''His'' army! Maybe if we stop him, we can stop his army too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Joyce''': ''[to a possessed Will]'' Do you know what March 22nd is? It's your birthday. ''Your'' birthday. When you turned eight, I gave you that huge box of crayons, do you remember that? It was 120 colors. And all your friends, they got you ''Star Wars'' toys, but all you wanted to do was... draw with all your new colors. And you drew this big spaceship, but it wasn't from a movie, it-it was ''your'' spaceship. A &quot;rainbow ship&quot; is what you called it. And you, you must have used every color in the box. I... I took that with me to Melvald's, and I put it up, and I told ''everyone'' who came in, &quot;My son drew this.&quot; And you were so embarrassed. ''[chuckles tearfully]'' But I was so proud. I was so, so proud.
:'''Jonathan''':  ''[going to sit opposite him]'' Do you remember the day Dad left? We stayed up all night, building Castle Byers, just the way you drew it. And it took ''so'' long, because you were so bad at hammering. You'd miss the nail every time. And then it started raining, but we stayed out there anyway. We were both sick for like a week, after that. But we just had to finish it, didn't we? We just had to.
:''[Will's fingers begin tapping on the chair]''
:'''Mike''': Do you remember the first day we met? It was... it was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends, and...I just felt so alone, and so scared, but... I saw you on the swings, and you were alone, too. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you, and...I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done.
:'''Joyce''': Will, baby... if you're in there, just please... please talk to us. Please, honey, please, can you do that for me? Please. I love you so much.
:'''Will''': ''[as the Shadow Monster]'' Let me go.
:''[Hopper notices that Will's finger-tapping is Morse Code]''

=== ''Chapter Nine: The Gate'' [2.09] ===
:'''Mike''': Eleven?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Mike?!
:''[They embrace tearfully]''
:'''Max''': Is that...
:''[Lucas and Dustin nod, both staring at Eleven]''
:'''Mike''': I ''never'' gave up on you. I called you every night. Every night, for...
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Three hundred and fifty-three days. ''[Mike looks shocked]'' I heard.
:'''Mike''': Why didn't you tell me you were there? That you were okay?
:'''Hopper''': Because I wouldn't let her. ''[to Eleven]'' The Hell is this? Where you been?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Where've ''you'' been?!
:''[She and Hopper embrace]''
:'''Mike''': You've been hiding her. You've been hiding her this whole time!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': So what, we're just not gonna talk about it, huh?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': About what?
:'''Hopper''': Oh, I don't know. I'm just curious why, all of a sudden, you look like some kinda MTV punk? ''[pause]'' I'm not mad, kid. I just wanna know where you've been.That's all.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': To see Mama.
:'''Hopper''': Okay. How'd you get there?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': A truck.
:'''Hopper''': &quot;A truck?&quot;
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': A big truck.
:'''Hopper''': &quot;A big truck?&quot; Whose truck was it?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': A man's.
:'''Hopper''': A ''man's?''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': A nice man.
:'''Hopper''': Okay. So, let me just get this straight in my head: so, a ''nice man'' in a ''big truck'', he drove you to your mama's? And then what, your- your aunt Becky gave you those clothes and that makeup?!
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I... I shouldn't have left.
:'''Hopper''': Hmm-mm, No. No, this isn't on you, kid. I should've been there. I should never have lied to you about your mom... or about when you could leave. A lot of things I shouldn't have done. Sometimes, I feel like I'm... like I'm just some kinda black hole or something.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': &quot;Black hole?&quot;
:'''Hopper''': Yeah, it's a... y'know, it's this thing in outer space. It's like... it sucks everything towards it and destroys it. Sarah had a picture book about outer space, she loved it.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Who's Sarah?
:'''Hopper''': Sarah? Sarah's my girl. ''[looks at her]'' She's my little girl.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': Where is she?
:'''Hopper''': Well, that's kinda the thing, kid. She, uh... well, she left us.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''Gone''.
:'''Hopper''': Yeah. The black hole. It got her. And, somehow... I've just been scared, you know. I've just been scared that it would take ''you'', too. I guess that's why I get... so mad. ''[shakes his head]'' I'm so sorry. For everything. I can be so... so...
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''Stupid.''
:'''Hopper''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah... stupid. Just really stupid.  
:''[Eleven squeezes his hand]''
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I've been stupid, too.
:'''Hopper''': I guess we broke our rule. ''[Eleven smiles tearfully]'' I don't hate it, by the way. This whole... look. Kinda cool.
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': ''[smirks]'' Bitchin'.
:'''Hopper''': Okay, sure. ''[smiles]'' &quot;Bitchin'&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sam Owens''': Chief-o!
:'''Hopper''': How's the leg?
:'''Sam Owens''': Better! Though I'm pretty sure my ''football'' career is over. ''[offers half his sandwich]'' Hey, you want some of this? There's no way I'm gonna finish it.
:'''Hopper''':  No. I'm, uh, I'm on a diet.
:'''Sam Owens''': Well, you're a better man than me. Hey, I got a little something for you.
:''[He hands him an envelope; Hopper opens it to find an altered birth certificate for Eleven, naming her as Jane &quot;Hopper&quot;]''
:'''Sam Owens''': Congratulations, Pops.
:'''Hopper''':  I thought...
:'''Sam Owens''': Sometimes, I impress even myself. Still, I'd let things cool off for a while, if I were you.
:'''Hopper''': How long's a while?
:'''Sam Owens''': You wanna be safe, I'd give it a year.
:'''Hopper''': A ''year?'' ''[he takes the sandwich and bites into it]'' What about one night out?
:'''Sam Owens''': One night?
:'''Hopper''': Yeah. How risky would that be?
:'''Sam Owens''':  What's so important about one night?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nancy notices Dustin crying after being rudely rejected by two girls at the Snow Ball]''
:'''Nancy''': Hey.
:'''Dustin''': Hey.
:'''Nancy''': ''[offers her hand]'' Wanna dance?
:'''Dustin''': What?
:'''Nancy''': Come on, let's go. Here. ''[she puts his hands on her waist]'' Mm-hm. Closer. 
:''[Dustin hesitantly moves closer]''
:'''Nancy''': ''[smiles]'' A ''little'' closer. Okay. Now, feel the music, the rhythm. Start to move to it... Yeah, there.
:'''Dustin''': Good?
:'''Nancy''': That's good, yeah. You know, out of all my brother's friends... you're my favorite. You've always been my favorite.
:'''Dustin''': ''[grins]'' Really?
:'''Nancy''': Yeah. 
:''[They glance at the girls who rejected Dustin, who are staring at them]''
:'''Nancy''':  Girls this age are... dumb. But, you give 'em a few years... and they'll wise up. You're gonna drive 'em nuts.
:'''Dustin''': You think so?
:'''Nancy''': Oh, I ''know'' so.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mike meets Eleven at the Snow Ball]''
:'''Mike''': Do you want to dance?
:'''Jane Ives/Eleven''': I... don't know how.
:'''Mike''': I don't either. Do you want to figure it out?
:''[Eleven nods]''

== Season 3 ==
=== ''Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy?'' [3.01] ===
:'''Lucas''': ''[about Eleven and Mike]'' They do this every time!
:'''Max''': It's romantic!
:'''Will''': It's gross!
:'''Dustin''': It's bullshit!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy''': ''[to Karen Wheeler]'' You know, I could uh, teach you if like. I know all the styles. Freestyle... butterfly... breast stroke.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': Maybe I should just kill Mike. I'm the chief of police, I could cover it up.

=== ''Chapter Two: The Mall Rats'' [3.02] ===
:'''Eleven''': ''[breaking up with Mike]'' I dump your ass.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucas''': ''[to Mike]'' I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be bad. But you can fix this. It's just one little mistake. I've made hundreds, thousands. Max has dumped me five times. But what have I done? Huh? Have I despaired? No. I've marched back into battle, and I've won her back every single freaking time.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hopper, having been stood up by Joyce, moves to leave the restaurant with a bottle of wine]''
:'''Waiter''': Sir, I'm afraid no alcohol is allowed off the premises.
:'''Hopper''': ''[blows raspberry]'' I can do anything I want. I'm the chief of police.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steve''': I gotta keep in shape for the ladies.
:'''Robin''': Yeah, and how's that working out for you?
:'''Steve''': Ignore her.
:'''Dustin''': She seems cool.
:'''Steve''': She's not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robin''': So I guess that confirms your suspicion.
:'''Dustin''': Evil Russians.
:'''Robin''': I can't believe I'm about to agree with this strange child, but, yeah, totally evil Russians.

=== ''Chapter Three: The Case of the Missing Lifeguard'' [3.03] ===
:'''Mike''': ''[to Will]'' El is not stupid! It's not my fault you don't like girls! ''[pause]'' Look, I wasn't trying to be a jerk. It's just that we're not kids anymore.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': But here's the thing. When Billy is alone with a girl they make like really crazy noises.
:'''Eleven''': They scream?
:'''Max''': Yeah, but like, happy screams.
:'''Eleven''': Happy screams what is happy screams?
:'''Max''': It's like... I'm just gonna lend you my mom's Cosmo.

=== ''Chapter Four: The Sauna Test'' [3.04] ===
:'''Dustin''': ''[about a ventilation shaft]'' I'll fit. Trust me. No collar bones, remember?
:'''Robin''': Uh, excuse me?
:'''Steve''': Oh, he's, uh Yeah, he's got some disease. Chry, uh, It's chrydo, um... something. Yeah, I dunno. He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like Gumbo.
:'''Robin''': You mean Gumby.
:'''Steve''': I'm pretty sure it's Gumbo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': Don't you love your country?
:'''Erica''': You can't spell &quot;America&quot; without &quot;Erica&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Erica''': Commence Operation Child Endangerment.
:'''Robin''': Can we maybe not call it that?

=== ''Chapter Five: The Flayed'' [3.05] ===
:'''Joyce''': What is your problem? We have had a very long day. We've been shot at, nearly blown up, walked god knows how many miles in 100 degree heat, stole a car, all while being chased by this gigantic psychopath, all so we could bring HIM to YOU because somehow you're the closest person who speaks Russian, which I can't believe but that doesn't matter because unfortunately we're here, so if you don't mind put that thing away, stop behaving like a jackass, and ask him what he's doing that is making my magnets fall off my damn fridge! Please!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': What are they still doing in there?
:'''Lucas''': I don't know. Girls just like hanging out in bathrooms.
:'''Mike''': Why?
:'''Lucas''': I mean, I don't know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Alexei''': ''[in Russian]'' Get that out of my face, you bald American pig.
:'''Murray''': ''[in Russian]'' I may be bald, but you're the one in handcuffs, Soviet scum.

=== ''Chapter Six: E Pluribus Unum'' [3.06] ===
:'''Murray''': I don't understand what he's saying.
:'''Joyce''': I thought you were fluent.
:'''Murray''': Oh, I'm sorry. Are my free translation services not good enough for you? Because you can just go ahead and file your complaint right up my ass!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Murray''': ''[translating for Alexei, speaking to Hopper]'' He says he likes your courage. You remind him of a fat Rambo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': Holy shit - you're a nerd!
:'''Erica''': Come again?
:'''Dustin''': You... are... a... nerd!
:'''Erica''': Okay, you better take that back, nerd!
:'''Dustin''': Can't put the truth back in the box.
:'''Erica''': But it's not the truth.
:'''Dustin''': Let's examine the facts, shall we? Fact one: you're a math whiz, apparently...
:'''Erica''': That was a pretty straightforward equation.
:'''Dustin''': Fact two: you're a political junkie...
:'''Erica''': Just because I don't agree with communism as an ideology...
:'''Dustin''': ''[holding up her backpack]'' Fact number three: you LOVE 'My Little Pony.'
:'''Erica''': And what does 'My Little Pony' have to do with this?
:'''Dustin''': Let's recall the ponies' latest adventure, shall we? The evil centaur team and Tyrek turns Applejack into a dragon at Midnight Castle, and Megan and the other ponies have to use Moochik's magic to defeat his rainbow of darkness, saving them from a lifetime of enslavement. All the pink in the world can't disguise the irrefutable fact that centaurs and castles and dragons and magic are all standard nerd tropes. Ergo, 'My Little Pony' is nerdy, ergo, you, Erica, are a nerd.
:'''Erica''': And how do YOU know so much about 'My Little Pony?'
:'''Dustin''': Because, I'm a nerd. ''[finishes shutting off the fan]'' Let's go... Nerd.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Billy''': ''[Mindflayer speaking through Billy]'' You shouldn't have looked for me. Because now I see you. Now we can all see you. ''You'' let us in. And now, you are going to have to let us stay. Don't you see? All this time, we've been building it. We've been building it, for you. All that work. All that ''pain''. All of it... for you. And now it's time. Time to end it. And we're going to end you and when you are gone we are going to end your friends.
:'''Eleven''': ''[screams]'' No!
:'''Billy''': And then we are going to end... everyone.
:''[Billy sheds tear]''
:'''Eleven''': ''[screams]'' Get away!

=== ''Chapter Seven: The Bite'' [3.07] ===
:'''Dustin''': Are you gonna die on us?
:'''Robin''': We all die, my strange little child friend. It's just a matter of how and when.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robin''': Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed? Yeah.
:'''Steve''': Yeah.
:'''Robin''': It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because she wouldn't stop staring at you.
:'''Steve''': Mrs. Click?
:''[Robin laughs to herself]''
:'''Robin''': Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And-and you didn't even like her and I would go home and just scream into my pillow.
:'''Steve''': But Tammy Thompson's a girl.
:'''Robin''': ''[softly]'' Steve.
:'''Steve''': Yeah? ''[He sees Robin's expression]'' Oh. Oh. Holy cow.
:'''Robin''': Yeah. Holy cow.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': ''[to Nancy, who is bandaging El's wound]'' Whoah, hey, what are you doing?
:'''Nancy''': Cleaning the wound?
:'''Max''': No, first we need to stop the bleeding, then clean, then disinfect, then bandage.
:''[everyone stares at her]''
:'''Max''': I skateboard, trust me.

=== ''Chapter Eight: The Battle of Starcourt'' [3.08] ===
:'''Hopper''': ''[to Mike and Eleven]'' There's something I've been wanting to talk to you both about - and I know this is a difficult conversation. But I care about you both very much. And I know you care about each other very much and that's why it's important that we set these boundaries moving forward so we can build an environment, where we ALL feel comfortable, trusted and open to sharing our feelings. Feelings. Jesus. The truth is, for so long, I'd forgotten what those even were. I've been stuck in one place - in a cave, you might say. A deep dark cave. And then, I left some Eggos out in the woods and you came into my life and... for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I've been feeling... distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching westerns together before we doze off. But I know you're getting older, growing, changing. And I guess... if i'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came here, to try to maybe... stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naive. It's just... not how life works. It's moving. Always moving whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's sad and sometimes it's surprising. Happy. So you know what? Keep on growing up, kid. Don't let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from 'em, and when life hurts you - because it will - remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave. But, please, if you don't mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Suzie''': Dusty-bun?
:'''Erica''': &quot;Dusty-bun&quot;?
:'''Suzie''': Where have you been?
:'''Dustin''': I'm so, so sorry. I--I've been really busy uh, trying to save the world from Russians and monsters.
:'''Suzie''': Of course you have.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Suzie''': I haven't heard from you in a week, and now you want a mathematical equation that you should know so you can save the world?
:'''Dustin''': Suzie-poo, I promise, I will make it up to you as soon as possible.
:'''Suzie''': You can make it up to me now.
:'''Dustin''': What?
:'''Suzie''': I want to hear it.
:'''Dustin''': Not right now.
:'''Suzie''': Yes, now, Dusty-bun.
:'''Dustin''': Suzie-poo, this is urgent.
:'''Suzie''': Yes, yes, you're saving the world, I heard you the first time, but Ged is also saving Earthsea and he's about to confront the shadow, so this is Suzie, signing off.
:'''Dustin''': Wait, wait, wait! Okay. Okay. Shit. ''[He starts nervously singing The Neverending Story by Limahl]'' Turn around Look at what you see...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Will puts his &quot;Dungeons &amp; Dragons&quot; rulebooks in a box]''
:'''Mike''': Whoa, dude. That's the donation box.
:'''Will''': I know. I'll just use yours when I come back. I mean, if we still want to play.
:'''Mike''': Yeah but what if you want to join another party?
:'''Will''': Not possible.
:''[a touched Mike grins. Will returns the smile]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eleven''': Did you talk to your mom? About Thanksgiving?
:'''Mike''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the okay. I'll be there. And then I was thinking maybe you could come up here for Christmas. And Will too. You can come here before or after Christmas or whatever Mrs. Byers wants but I was thinking Christmas Day could be super fun because we'd all have cool new presents to play with and, uh... ''[chuckles]'' Sorry, that made me sound like a seven-year-old.
:'''Eleven''': I like presents too.
:'''Mike''': Yeah, cool. Yeah. I like... I like presents too.
:''[...]''
:'''Eleven''': Mike?
:'''Mike''': Yeah?
:'''Eleven''': Remember that day… at the cabin, you were talking to Max?
:'''Mike''': Um … I don't think I follow.
:'''Eleven''': You talked about your-- your feelings, your heart.
:'''Mike''': Oh. Oh, yeah, that. Man, that was so long ago. Um … That was really heat of the moment stuff, and we were arguing and… I don't really remember… What did I say, exactly?
:'''Eleven''': Mike… I love you too.
:''[Eleven moves closer and kisses Mike]''

== Season 4 ==
=== ''Chapter One: The Hellfire Club'' [4.01] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 18 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''Lucas''': If I get in good with these guys, I'll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.
:'''Mike''': Has it ever occurred to you that we don't want to be popular?
:'''Lucas''': So you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?
:'''Dustin''': We ARE nerds and freaks!

=== ''Chapter Two: Vecna's Curse'' [4.02] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 17 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:''[a frightened Eddie pins Steve to the wall with a broken bottle to his throat]''
:'''Dustin''': Eddie! Eddie! It's me. It's Dustin. This is Steve. He's not gonna hurt you, right, Steve?
:'''Steve''': Right. Yeah.
:'''Dustin''': Steve, why don't you drop the oar?
:''[Steve does so, but Eddie holds the broken bottle closer to Steve's throat]''
:'''Dustin''': He's cool. He's cool.
:'''Steve''': ''[choked]'' I'm cool, man. I'm cool.
:'''Eddie''': What are you doing here?
:'''Dustin''': We're looking for you.
:'''Robin''': We're here to help.
:'''Dustin''': Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band.
:''[She imitates playing the trumpet]''
:'''Dustin''': This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&amp;D.
:''[Max gives Eddie a half-hearted wave]''
:'''Dustin''': Eddie, we're on your side. I swear on my mother. Right, guys?
:'''Max''': Yes. Yes, we swear.
:'''Robin''': On Dustin's mother.
:'''Steve''': Yeah, Dustin's... Dustin's mother.
:''[after a tense pause, Eddie finally releases Steve]''

=== ''Chapter Three: The Monster and the Superhero'' [4.03] ===
:'''Steve''': Always the babysitter. Always the goddamn babysitter!

=== ''Chapter Four: Dear Billy'' [4.04] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 18 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''Max''': Dear Billy, I don't know if you can even hear this. Two years ago, I would have said, &quot;That's ridiculous, impossible.&quot; But that was before I found out about alternate dimensions and monsters, so... I'm just going to stop assuming that I know anything. So much has happened since you left. Your dad was a total mess. He and my mom started getting into fights. Bad fights. I don't think he could stand being here without you. So he left. And he didn't leave Mom much. She's taken an extra job, and we moved to that lovely trailer park off Kerley. Basically, ever since you left, everything's been... a total disaster. And the worst part is, I can't tell anyone why you're gone. I can't tell them that you saved El's life. That you saved my life. I play that moment back in my head all the time. And sometimes I imagine myself running to you, pulling you away. I imagine that if I had, that you would still be here. And everything would be... everything would be right again. I imagine that we... that we could've become friends. Good friends, like... like a real brother and sister. And I know that's stupid. You hated me. I hated you. But I thought that maybe... maybe we could try again. But that's not what happened. I just... I stood there and I watched. For a while, I tried to be happy. Normal. But I... I think that maybe a part of me died that day too. And I haven't told anyone this. I... I just can't. But I had to tell you. Before it's too late. If you can even hear this. I really hope that you can. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Billy. Love, your shitty little sister, Max.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Victor Creel''': This demon, it was taunting me. And I was sure it would take me, just as he'd taken my Virginia. But then... I heard... another voice. At first I believed it was an angel. And I... I followed her, only to find myself... in a nightmare far worse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Thanks, by the way.
:'''Will''': For what?
:'''Mike''': For knocking some sense into me. I mean, I was being a total self-pitying idiot.
:'''Will''': I didn't say it.
:'''Mike''': You didn't have to. ''[chuckles]'' Hey, also about the last few days...
:'''Will''': You don't have to say anything. I... I was being a total jerk to El. I deserved it.
:'''Mike''': No. No, no, no. You didn't deserve anything. Listen, the truth is the last year has been weird, you know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they're... they're great. They're great. It's just... It's Hawkins. It's not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don't know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?
:''[Will nods]''
:'''Mike''': I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I... I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're... we're a team. Friends. Best friends.
:'''Will''': ''[touched; close to tears]'' Cool.
:'''Mike''': ''[smiles]'' Cool.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robin''': Hatch said that music can reach parts of the brain that words can't. So maybe that's the key, a lifeline. A lifeline back to reality. It's worth a shot.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucas''': I thought we lost you.
:'''Max''': I'm still... I'm still here. I'm still here.

=== ''Chapter Five: The Nina Project'' [4.05] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 16 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''Mike''': I should have explained myself. Cause maybe Eleven would have taken me with her and things would have been different then. But I didn't know what to say.
:'''Will''': Sometimes, I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to the people you care about the most. Because what if... what if they don't like the truth?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': I used to think I was cursed. Ever since I was 18. Got some letter of induction in the mail. Uncle Sam wants me to go fight some war in the jungle. Charlie's moving south like a plague 'cause of commie bastards like you, and... you know, I'm happy enough to go. Prove to my old man I'm not the piece of shit he thinks I am. I get over there, I must test well, and they put me in the Chemical Corps. There I am. I'm just... a kid, you know. I'm 18 years old, 8,000 miles away, and I'm mixing up these... 55-gallon drums of Agent Orange. With just these kitchen gloves, you know? We used to clean out these buffalo turbines after a run and just be inhaling the stuff. No masks, nothing. &quot;It's not chemical warfare. It's just herbicide to kill plants. Harmless.&quot; That's what they told us. And then I got back to real life, and these guys I worked with, the ones that made it back, they started trying to get back to normal, you know? Having families. And then things started going wrong. Kids born stillborn. Dead in the womb. Crooked spines, eyes popped out. The horror... followed us, clung to us. My wife Diane, she wanted a baby. I did too. We had a baby, and she was, um... She was born healthy. She was perfect, you know. Sara. And then she died. It wasn't an easy death. She... suffered. I knew the risks, but I, um... I hid them. And then Diane left me. She didn't blame me. Not with words. After that, I was just... I just hid myself in drugs and alcohol. And then people started coming into my life. This girl El, and Joyce just happened, and I told myself they needed me. But that wasn't true. That's a lie. They didn't need me. I needed them. I needed them. You were right, what you said last night. I knew the risks, breaking out of here, but I did it anyway. The minute I sent for Joyce, the minute I sent for her, I sentenced her to death. Just like I did with Sara. Everyone I love, I hurt. See, I was wrong this whole time. I wasn't cursed. I ''am'' the curse.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robin''': I mean, it's just a clock. Right? Like a normal old clock.
:'''Steve''': Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks? Maybe he's, like, a clockmaker or something?
:'''Dustin''': I think you cracked the case, Steve.

=== ''Chapter Six: The Dive'' [4.06] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 15 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''Jason Carver''': How do you expect to stop the devil if you don't believe he's real?

=== ''Chapter Seven: The Massacre at Hawkins Lab'' [4.07] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 38 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''One''': Like you, I didn't fit in with the other children. Something was wrong with me. All the teachers and the doctors said I was... &quot;Broken,&quot; they said. My parents thought a change of scenery, a fresh start in Hawkins, might just cure me. It was absurd. As if the world would be any different here. But then... to my surprise, our new home provided a discovery. And a new found sense of purpose. I found a nest of black widows living inside a vent. Most people fear spiders. They detest them. And yet, I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them. A kinship. Like me, they are solitary creatures. And deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world. The most important of all predators. They immobilize and feed on the weak, bringing balance and order to an unstable ecosystem. But the human world was disrupting this harmony. You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die! Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world. A predator... but for good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hopper''': The last time I was with El, she wanted just about nothing to do with me. I was just in her way, really. I think back to the way I was with my dad at that age. I was the same way. The exact same way. I think it must be hardwired into us to reject our fathers. So we can grow and move on. Become something of our own. I hope that's what she's doing. Coming into her own.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': Bada-bada-boom!

=== ''Chapter Eight: Papa'' [4.08] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 1 hour and 20 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:''[Owens is handcuffed and eye to eye with Jack Sullivan, who's preparing to order a sharpshooter to take out Eleven.] ''
:'''Owens''': Jack, don't do this. I'm begging you.
:''[Jack doesn't say anything for a few seconds, as if considering...then...] ''
:'''Sullivan''': ''[over the radio]'' Take it.
:'''Owens''': ''[Enraged]'' ''You son of a bitch! No! You son of a bitch!''

=== ''Chapter Nine: The Piggyback'' [4.09] ===
&lt;small&gt;Note: This episode is 2 hours and 19 minutes in length.&lt;/small&gt;

:'''Eleven''': Max, are you okay?
:'''Max''': Huh?
:'''Eleven''': Are you okay?
:'''Max''': Yeah. Are you... Are you real? Di... Did I make you?
:'''Eleven''': I'm real.
:'''Max''': How?
:'''Eleven''': I piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer.
:'''Max''': What?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eddie''': I didn't run away this time, right?
:'''Dustin''': No. No, no, no, no. You didn't run.
:'''Eddie''': You're gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?
:'''Dustin''': No, you're gonna do that yourself!
:'''Eddie''': Nah, man. Say, &quot;I'm gonna look after them.&quot; Say it.
:'''Dustin''': I'm... I'm gonna look after...
:'''Eddie''': Good. 'Cause I'm actually gonna graduate. I think it's my year, Henderson. I think it's finally my year. I love you, man.
:'''Dustin''': I love you too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dustin''': ''[to Eddie's uncle]'' I wish everyone had gotten to know him. Really know him. Because they would've loved him, Mr. Munson. They would've loved him. Even in the end... he never stopped being Eddie. Despite everything. I never even saw him get mad. He could've run. He could've saved himself. But he fought. He fought and died to protect this town. This town that... hated him. He isn't just innocent... Mr. Munson, he's... he's a hero.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lucas''': ''[to Jason]'' I thought I wanted to be like you. Popular. Normal. But it turns out, normal's just a raging psychopath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': El? I don't know if you can hear this, but... but if you can, I want you to know I'm here, okay? I'm right here. And... I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. I... It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big, it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero. And... I can't lose you. Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El. Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight. Fight! FIGHT!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eleven''': ''[to Vecna, about Max]'' If you touch her again, I will kill you again.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Vecna''': All I needed was someone to open the door. And you did that for me. Without even realizing it. Didn't you? And when you did realize, you chose to resist. So I sought a means to open my own doors. I sought... your power. So, don't you see? Once again, you have freed me.
:'''Eleven''': No. You don't have to do this. You can still stop this.
:'''Vecna''': It is over, Eleven. Your friends have lost. There is nothing... nothing you can do to stop this now. Hawkins will burn and fall. And the rest of this senseless, broken world. And I will be there. I will be there to pick up the pieces when it does. And remake it into something... beautiful. There was a time when I had hoped to have you by my side. But now I just want you to watch.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': Lucas...
:'''Lucas''': Yes, yes I'm here. I'm here.
:'''Max''': I... I can't feel or... see anything.
:'''Lucas''': I know. I know. It's okay. We're gonna get you help, okay? Just... Just hold on.
:'''Max''': Lucas, I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
:'''Lucas''': I know. I know. I know.
:'''Max''': I don't wanna die. I'm not ready.
:'''Lucas''': You're not gonna die. Hang on.
:'''Max''': I don't wanna go! I'm not ready.
:'''Lucas''': You're not gonna die! Just hang on! Max. Max! Max! No, no, no, Max. Stay with me. Stay with me! Don't go, Max! Max stay with me. Just look at me, Max. Max, look. No. Stay with me, Max. Hang on. Just hang on. Erica, help! Max? Max? Max? Max? Max, stay with me. Max, stay with me. No! No! Max! Max! Please, stay with me! No! Max! Max!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Eleven''': I kept it open. I kept the door open three inches.
:'''Hopper''': I know.
:'''Eleven''': I never stopped believing.
:'''Hopper''': Oh, I know. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': Let's hope One is dead and rotting.
:'''Will''': He's not. Now that I'm here, in Hawkins, I can feel him. And he's hurt. He's hurting. But he's still alive. It's strange, knowing now who it was this whole time, but... I can still remember what he thinks, and how he thinks. And he's not going to stop. Ever. Not until he's taken everything. And everyone. We have to kill him.
:'''Mike''': And we will. We will.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Winona Ryder|Winona Ryder]] - Joyce Byers
* [[w:David Harbour|David Harbour]] - Jim Hopper
* [[w:Finn Wolfhard|Finn Wolfhard]] - Mike Wheeler
* [[Millie Bobby Brown]] - [[w:Eleven (Stranger Things)|Eleven]] &quot;El&quot;
* [[w:Gaten Matarazzo|Gaten Matarazzo]] - Dustin Henderson
* [[w:Caleb McLaughlin|Caleb McLaughlin]] - Lucas Sinclair
* [[w:Natalia Dyer|Natalia Dyer]] - Nancy Wheeler
* [[w:Charlie Heaton|Charlie Heaton]] - Jonathan Byers
* [[w:Cara Buono|Cara Buono]] - Karen Wheeler
* [[w:Matthew Modine|Matthew Modine]] - Martin Brenner
* [[w:Noah Schnapp|Noah Schnapp]] - Will Byers
* [[w:Joe Keery|Joe Keery]] - Steve Harrington
* [[w:Sadie Sink|Sadie Sink]] - Maxine &quot;Max&quot; Mayfield
* [[w:Dacre Montgomery|Dacre Montgomery]] - Billy Hargrove
* [[w:Paul Reiser|Paul Reiser]] - Sam Owens
* [[w:Sean Astin|Sean Astin]] - Bob Newby
* [[w:Maya_Hawke|Maya Hawke]] - Robin Buckley
* [[w:Priah_Ferguson|Priah Ferguson]] - Erica Sinclair
* [[w:Joseph Quinn (actor)|Joseph Quinn]] - Eddie Munson
* [[w:Brett Gelman|Brett Gelman]] - Murray Bauman
* [[w:Mason Dye|Mason Dye]] - Jason Carver

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} 
* {{imdb title|4574334|Stranger Things}}
* [http://www.magicalquote.com/series/stranger-things/ Stranger Things] quotes at the MagicalQuote

[[Category:2010s American drama TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American horror TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American mystery TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American supernatural TV shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]</text>
      <sha1>qv0fm4w0hngyrk7zjshj8d2mou8lfkh</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>189346</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154753</id>
      <parentid>3147725</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:07:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>47.16.125.30</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10979" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 1)|1]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)|2]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)|3]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 4)|4]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 5)|5]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)|6]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 7)|7]] | [[Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1]] | [[Aqua Something You Know Whatever]] | [[Aqua TV Show Show]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|'''Main''']]
----
&lt;br&gt;
:''Aqua Teen won't ever be cancelled!''
:''Aqua Teen won't be dismantled!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be together!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be forever!''
'''''[[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''''', (also known by various [[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Alternative titles|alternative titles]]), (2000–15) is an [[w:animated series|animated television series]] from the [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]'s [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]] programming block.  The show follows the exploits of three [[w:anthropomorphic|anthropomorphic]] fast food items: [[w:Master Shake|Master Shake]], the milkshake; [[w:Frylock|Frylock]], the carton of French fries; and [[w:Meatwad|Meatwad]], the aptly named wad of meat.

===Brain Fairy===
:'''Meatwad''': Frylock be sleeping late today.
:'''Shake''': Yeah, when is he gonna get up and make us breakfast? It's passed noon.
:'''Meatwad''': You don't think he's dead, do you?
:'''Shake''': Well, there's only one way to find out. (Airhorn blows) WAKE YOUR SORRY ASS UP!
:'''Frylock''': Ear hurty!
:'''Shake''': Yeah, that's right. And stomach growly, so get crackin'!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': (trying to cook breakfast) Ow, hot, hot, hot! Ow, hot, hot, hot!
:'''Shake''': Yes, you have reached a suitable temperature. Now cook the crepes!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me drown, weren't you? Weren't you?
:'''Shake''': No. I mean, yeah, Chum. (Shake laughs)
:'''Carl''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me walk home from Crotch Town, weren't you?
:'''Meatwad'': Hey, Carl, guess what? I got my driver's license!
:'''Carl''': Good for you. Where is my car?!
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, yeah. Some big black guy drove it and dumped it in the ocean. That's how they do.

===The Hairy Bus===
:'''Hairy Bus''': So you guys trying to &quot;Murder&quot; me?
:'''Carl''': Ah, you ain't alive. You're a bus.
:'''Hairy Bus''': I live just as &quot;You&quot;, sir.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Carl, why do you have a hacksaw?
:'''Carl''': We're Going to see &quot;Texas Hacksaw Massacre&quot;. Don't Worry, it teaches kids lessons, like, you know, avoid Texas at all costs.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': No, no, no, no, no! We ain't got room for you!
:'''Master Shake''': You have a hatch back here, right?
:'''Carl''': I've got a woofer in there. And when I crank it, it'll make you go doo doo all over my car, so...
:'''Master Shake''': Well then, where am I gonna sit?
:'''Carl''': Oh I don't know, you can sit, uh, on &quot;This&quot;... AND ROTATE!
:'''Meatwad''': Good one, Carl.
:'''Carl''': YOU TEED UP FOR ME AND KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK!
:'''Master Shake''': I hope the theater burns down, with you two in it, while you're holding hands! Great, now I gotta be here with you! Frickin' ladies' night!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Okay, he said just look for a bus, like him, but shaved.
:'''Carl''': Or we could just play some slots and get a cheap hooker for a couple hours. I still have 20 dollars. You gotta be a real bargain hunter to find someone who'd do both of us.
:'''Frylock''': Carl, I can't just let it die. I signed the online Hippocratic oath.
:'''Carl''': Why do you gotta get a moral?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Hey, how was the movie, Meatwad? And why are you covered in blood and chassis grease?
:'''Meatwad''': It was good, nothing.
:'''Carl''': Hey, how's that surgery class going? Are you like, uh, licensed yet? You know, how to do it now?
:'''Frylock''': Carl, what the hell, man?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': (about the Hairy Bus) Oh, man! Look! That's the Hairy Bus! The ultimate party vehicle. Ratt rented that when they toured Jersey for their &quot;Round and Round and Round Yet Again&quot; tour! It's got a DJ booth, a dance flor, a kegerator, a stripper pole, a hot tub, a two-story waterfall, and massage parlor.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Hairy Bus''': Wha-What did you have frickin' Christmas while you were down there? It's about goddamn time.
:'''Master Shake''': Frylock! Could you see if I can get my $550 back?
:'''Hairy Bus''': Nah, should've put it on the card.
:'''Master Shake''': When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue this bus for not being fun, and then, I'm gonna bitch-slap all of you for not letting me go to the movies with you! And anyone left standing when I get out is gonna be hurtin'!
:'''Frylock''': Ride the bus to bus hell, you bus!
:'''Hairy Bus''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wrong hole!
:'''Master Shake''': Man, you gotta suck!

===Sweet C===
:'''Carl:''' So you shrink me down, and then when I watch TV it's like a big screen at, like, At the Metalheads or something, right? Yeah!
:'''Frylock:''' That's right man, let's do it!
:'''Carl:''' Uh, wait. Hold on, now.
:'''Frylock:''' Oops, sorry. Did you say something?
:'''Carl:''' I mean, you know, I wanted to think about it for a second. I mean...
:'''Frylock:''' Oh, shoot. You know what, I...I kinda already did it.
:'''Carl''': But, I've got an idea here. You make me normal sized again, and then you make my TV &quot;Huge&quot;!
:'''Frylock:''' Come on, Carl. That's not realistic. I Mean, Where would you put it?
:'''Carl:''' What do you mean? You can put in the backyard, right next to the pool. Let's do that, this don't work for me. This remote's hard to do now.
:'''Frylock:''' No, man, this works good. See, you just gotta jump up and down the buttons a couple of times, you'll get it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' There's only one queen I listen to, and they are the champions, my friend. Not her.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' Now you listen to me, and I'mma tell you where to tell her where to go. You gotta give her the business. The Bees-ness!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl:''' Bees, unite on my brain. Give me a mighty bumble mullet. Because I cannot afford plugs, even on their financing plan.
:'''Frylock:''' Stop right there!
:'''Carl:''' Buzz off, Fryman, and leave us &quot;bee&quot;!

===Rabbit, Not Rabbot===
:'''Dr. Zord''': Randy!
:'''Randy''': Alright, I'm coming.
:'''Dr. Zord''': We have a non-believer in our midst.
:'''Randy''': A non-believer, huh? Well, what do you say we just pee in the fountain?
:'''Dr. Zord''': That's what we're doing, Randy! That's what we're doing!

:'''Shake''': I'm not a rabbit.
:'''Meatwad''': You are a rabbit.
:'''Shake''': No, I'm not.
:'''Meatwad''': Yes, you are.
:'''Shake''': I'm not a Sucking rabbit!
:'''Carl''': It's been six months. Anyone who wants a tarantula for Christmas, I don't wanna be with
:'''Meatwad''': I don't know why y'all complaining. These pellets are delicious.

===Hospice===
:'''Carl''': (about his mom) Hey, Sherlock Holmes! I guess we solved the mystery on what gave you lung cancer, huh? But you wouldn't listen to me, would you, Ma?! WOULD YOU?! (Carl cries)
:'''Dr. Belcher''': She needs to go into special care, to die. We can refer to you to a number of hospice facilities.
:'''Carl''': Oh, cool. You know, and then the state will cut a check and...
:'''Dr. Belcher''': (laughs) No, you will.
:'''Carl''': Oh, yeah, right. B-but then the state pays me back. You know like a reimbursement thing?
:'''Dr. Belcher''': No, like a you pay for services &quot;thing&quot;, out of your bank account &quot;thing.&quot;
:'''Carl''': I'm doing a good deed here! I'm freeing up a room for you guys!
:'''Dr. Belcher''': Look, pay for hospice or take her home. Either way, we're wheeling out to the curb at midnight.
:'''Carl''': [later that night, a nurse wheels Dolores, Carl's mother, out to the hospital lot and pushes her into the driveway] Crap. [later that night, Carl drives her home, tied to the rear end and fast]
:'''Dolores''': I swallowed a bug and I'm on speed! Carl? (Carl turns up the radio) Are you listening?

===The Greatest Story Ever Told===
: '''Meatwad:''' What we gonna do today?
: '''Master Shake:''' Not “today”, Meatwad. It’s the first day of eternity, because I just found out... that I’m Done immortal!
: '''Meatwad:''' Well, congratu-damn-lations!
: '''Master Shake:''' Thank you.
: '''Meatwad:''' That’s a big deal.
: '''Master Shake:''' Yea-heah!
: '''Meatwad:''' Question: am ''I'' immortal?
: '''Master Shake:''' I ''hope'' not, but you could be! You know, he loves the poor and the gross and slimy and worthless and... look at you! You’re all those things!
: '''Meatwad:''' Who you talking about? Who love me?
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[taps chest]'' The guy in here, man. And the guy in here. The Bible.
: '''Meatwad:''' ...this says “The Bibble.”
: '''Master Shake:''' ''YOU'' '''''QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!?!?!?!?'''''
: '''Meatwad:''' No! I would never-
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[kneels]'' You’d better kneel down and pray to Jimmy with me '''''RIGHT FREAKING NOW!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
: '''Meatwad:''' Why can’t Frylock be immortal? 
: '''Master Shake:''' He’ll never enter the kingdom with us.
: '''Meatwad:''' What kingdom?
: '''Master Shake:''' Kingdom...of...Kong! It’s in the book.
: '''Frylock:''' The Bibble, Jimmy and Kingdom Kong.
: '''Master Shake:''' It’s up in the clouds with Lando, and didn’t I tell you to suck it?! And I don’t hear any gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck!
: '''Frylock:''' You know this book is self-published?
: '''Master Shake:''' Yes, like many ancient texts.
: '''Frylock:''' On the back of a bunch of pharmacy labels?
: '''Master Shake:''' Do not '''''blaspheme''''' the book of Clozapine! Come on, Meatwad. Follow me down the righteous path. Begone, ye Fryman!
: '''Frylock:''' I live here. ''You’re'' the one who’s leaving.
: '''Master Shake:''' And leaving we are! Onward...so.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Frylock:''' Least they're still trying to electrocute Carl. How many days he's gonna do this?
:''[Carl in the electric chair, gets shocked]''
:'''Carl:''' That felt good!
:''[Carl gets electrocuted again]''
:'''Carl:''' How b-b-bout you crank it up b-b-bitch?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines of the series; Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad have been watching the final episode the whole time on TV, and are utterly disappointed]''
: '''Master Shake:''' Come on, really?
: '''Carl:''' So that's it. That's how they end this series?
: '''Frylock:''' Yeah, I guess so.
: '''Meatwad:''' We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title||Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}	 

[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons]]

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:100%; text-align: center;&quot;
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Preceded by&lt;br&gt;'''''[[Aqua TV Show Show]]'''''
|}
{{Adult Swim}}</text>
      <sha1>l0jw4m27f0db3nnrtx36easg1ir34bw</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154756</id>
      <parentid>3154753</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:18:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>47.16.125.30</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Hospice */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12380" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 1)|1]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)|2]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)|3]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 4)|4]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 5)|5]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)|6]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 7)|7]] | [[Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1]] | [[Aqua Something You Know Whatever]] | [[Aqua TV Show Show]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|'''Main''']]
----
&lt;br&gt;
:''Aqua Teen won't ever be cancelled!''
:''Aqua Teen won't be dismantled!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be together!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be forever!''
'''''[[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''''', (also known by various [[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Alternative titles|alternative titles]]), (2000–15) is an [[w:animated series|animated television series]] from the [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]'s [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]] programming block.  The show follows the exploits of three [[w:anthropomorphic|anthropomorphic]] fast food items: [[w:Master Shake|Master Shake]], the milkshake; [[w:Frylock|Frylock]], the carton of French fries; and [[w:Meatwad|Meatwad]], the aptly named wad of meat.

===Brain Fairy===
:'''Meatwad''': Frylock be sleeping late today.
:'''Shake''': Yeah, when is he gonna get up and make us breakfast? It's passed noon.
:'''Meatwad''': You don't think he's dead, do you?
:'''Shake''': Well, there's only one way to find out. (Airhorn blows) WAKE YOUR SORRY ASS UP!
:'''Frylock''': Ear hurty!
:'''Shake''': Yeah, that's right. And stomach growly, so get crackin'!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': (trying to cook breakfast) Ow, hot, hot, hot! Ow, hot, hot, hot!
:'''Shake''': Yes, you have reached a suitable temperature. Now cook the crepes!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me drown, weren't you? Weren't you?
:'''Shake''': No. I mean, yeah, Chum. (Shake laughs)
:'''Carl''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me walk home from Crotch Town, weren't you?
:'''Meatwad'': Hey, Carl, guess what? I got my driver's license!
:'''Carl''': Good for you. Where is my car?!
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, yeah. Some big black guy drove it and dumped it in the ocean. That's how they do.

===The Hairy Bus===
:'''Hairy Bus''': So you guys trying to &quot;Murder&quot; me?
:'''Carl''': Ah, you ain't alive. You're a bus.
:'''Hairy Bus''': I live just as &quot;You&quot;, sir.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Carl, why do you have a hacksaw?
:'''Carl''': We're Going to see &quot;Texas Hacksaw Massacre&quot;. Don't Worry, it teaches kids lessons, like, you know, avoid Texas at all costs.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': No, no, no, no, no! We ain't got room for you!
:'''Master Shake''': You have a hatch back here, right?
:'''Carl''': I've got a woofer in there. And when I crank it, it'll make you go doo doo all over my car, so...
:'''Master Shake''': Well then, where am I gonna sit?
:'''Carl''': Oh I don't know, you can sit, uh, on &quot;This&quot;... AND ROTATE!
:'''Meatwad''': Good one, Carl.
:'''Carl''': YOU TEED UP FOR ME AND KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK!
:'''Master Shake''': I hope the theater burns down, with you two in it, while you're holding hands! Great, now I gotta be here with you! Frickin' ladies' night!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Okay, he said just look for a bus, like him, but shaved.
:'''Carl''': Or we could just play some slots and get a cheap hooker for a couple hours. I still have 20 dollars. You gotta be a real bargain hunter to find someone who'd do both of us.
:'''Frylock''': Carl, I can't just let it die. I signed the online Hippocratic oath.
:'''Carl''': Why do you gotta get a moral?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Hey, how was the movie, Meatwad? And why are you covered in blood and chassis grease?
:'''Meatwad''': It was good, nothing.
:'''Carl''': Hey, how's that surgery class going? Are you like, uh, licensed yet? You know, how to do it now?
:'''Frylock''': Carl, what the hell, man?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': (about the Hairy Bus) Oh, man! Look! That's the Hairy Bus! The ultimate party vehicle. Ratt rented that when they toured Jersey for their &quot;Round and Round and Round Yet Again&quot; tour! It's got a DJ booth, a dance flor, a kegerator, a stripper pole, a hot tub, a two-story waterfall, and massage parlor.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Hairy Bus''': Wha-What did you have frickin' Christmas while you were down there? It's about goddamn time.
:'''Master Shake''': Frylock! Could you see if I can get my $550 back?
:'''Hairy Bus''': Nah, should've put it on the card.
:'''Master Shake''': When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue this bus for not being fun, and then, I'm gonna bitch-slap all of you for not letting me go to the movies with you! And anyone left standing when I get out is gonna be hurtin'!
:'''Frylock''': Ride the bus to bus hell, you bus!
:'''Hairy Bus''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wrong hole!
:'''Master Shake''': Man, you gotta suck!

===Sweet C===
:'''Carl:''' So you shrink me down, and then when I watch TV it's like a big screen at, like, At the Metalheads or something, right? Yeah!
:'''Frylock:''' That's right man, let's do it!
:'''Carl:''' Uh, wait. Hold on, now.
:'''Frylock:''' Oops, sorry. Did you say something?
:'''Carl:''' I mean, you know, I wanted to think about it for a second. I mean...
:'''Frylock:''' Oh, shoot. You know what, I...I kinda already did it.
:'''Carl''': But, I've got an idea here. You make me normal sized again, and then you make my TV &quot;Huge&quot;!
:'''Frylock:''' Come on, Carl. That's not realistic. I Mean, Where would you put it?
:'''Carl:''' What do you mean? You can put in the backyard, right next to the pool. Let's do that, this don't work for me. This remote's hard to do now.
:'''Frylock:''' No, man, this works good. See, you just gotta jump up and down the buttons a couple of times, you'll get it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' There's only one queen I listen to, and they are the champions, my friend. Not her.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' Now you listen to me, and I'mma tell you where to tell her where to go. You gotta give her the business. The Bees-ness!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl:''' Bees, unite on my brain. Give me a mighty bumble mullet. Because I cannot afford plugs, even on their financing plan.
:'''Frylock:''' Stop right there!
:'''Carl:''' Buzz off, Fryman, and leave us &quot;bee&quot;!

===Rabbit, Not Rabbot===
:'''Dr. Zord''': Randy!
:'''Randy''': Alright, I'm coming.
:'''Dr. Zord''': We have a non-believer in our midst.
:'''Randy''': A non-believer, huh? Well, what do you say we just pee in the fountain?
:'''Dr. Zord''': That's what we're doing, Randy! That's what we're doing!

:'''Shake''': I'm not a rabbit.
:'''Meatwad''': You are a rabbit.
:'''Shake''': No, I'm not.
:'''Meatwad''': Yes, you are.
:'''Shake''': I'm not a Sucking rabbit!
:'''Carl''': It's been six months. Anyone who wants a tarantula for Christmas, I don't wanna be with
:'''Meatwad''': I don't know why y'all complaining. These pellets are delicious.

===Hospice===
:'''Carl''': (about his mom) Hey, Sherlock Holmes! I guess we solved the mystery on what gave you lung cancer, huh? But you wouldn't listen to me, would you, Ma?! WOULD YOU?! (Carl cries)
:'''Dr. Belcher''': She needs to go into special care, to die. We can refer to you to a number of hospice facilities.
:'''Carl''': Oh, cool. You know, and then the state will cut a check and...
:'''Dr. Belcher''': (laughs) No, you will.
:'''Carl''': Oh, yeah, right. B-but then the state pays me back. You know like a reimbursement thing?
:'''Dr. Belcher''': No, like a you pay for services &quot;thing&quot;, out of your bank account &quot;thing.&quot;
:'''Carl''': I'm doing a good deed here! I'm freeing up a room for you guys!
:'''Dr. Belcher''': Look, pay for hospice or take her home. Either way, we're wheeling out to the curb at midnight.
:'''Carl''': [later that night, a nurse wheels Dolores, Carl's mother, out to the hospital lot and pushes her into the driveway] Crap. [later that night, Carl drives her home, tied to the rear end and fast]
:'''Dolores''': I swallowed a bug and I'm on speed! Carl? [Carl turns up the radio] Are you listening?

:'''Frylock''': You are gonna need a ramp here, buddy.
:'''Carl''': Nah, I mean, she might come out one more time. But I'll have the morgue dudes help me with that.
:'''Meatwad''': You need to get you one of them cool chair lift rides that go up and down the stairs. And you ain't gotta do nothing but press a button. Man, I can't wait till I get cancer, I'm gonna ride that shit all day.
:'''Carl''': Dude, she ain't going nowhere. She's gonna park her Boston cream filled ass right here, until the Devil extends his red hand to take her into the fiery depths. God rest her soul, I'm saying that in advanced.

:'''Carl''': Ma! Call them off, we can knock the football package down to the Bronze level.
:'''Dolores''': [chants in indigenous language]
:'''Frylock''': She's speaking with the windwalkers, man. She doesn't understand English anymore.
:'''Carl''': Oh, but thank God you fixed the cancer, right? Way to go!
:'''Frylock''': I have an idea. I'm gonna tell them that I'm will make the sun disappear unless they let you go.
:'''Carl''': Yeah, yeah! Do that! They're dumb, they're rats.
:'''Frylock''': [speaks to the rats in an indigenous language; then back to English] Well here it is. They said, &quot;make the sun disappear now.&quot; and I said we had to wait until 8:00 tonight. They said &quot;bullshit.&quot; so now I'm kind of out of ideas.
:'''Carl''': Oh, Mr. &quot;I cured cancer&quot; just run out of ideas!

===The Greatest Story Ever Told===
: '''Meatwad:''' What we gonna do today?
: '''Master Shake:''' Not “today”, Meatwad. It’s the first day of eternity, because I just found out... that I’m Done immortal!
: '''Meatwad:''' Well, congratu-damn-lations!
: '''Master Shake:''' Thank you.
: '''Meatwad:''' That’s a big deal.
: '''Master Shake:''' Yea-heah!
: '''Meatwad:''' Question: am ''I'' immortal?
: '''Master Shake:''' I ''hope'' not, but you could be! You know, he loves the poor and the gross and slimy and worthless and... look at you! You’re all those things!
: '''Meatwad:''' Who you talking about? Who love me?
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[taps chest]'' The guy in here, man. And the guy in here. The Bible.
: '''Meatwad:''' ...this says “The Bibble.”
: '''Master Shake:''' ''YOU'' '''''QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!?!?!?!?'''''
: '''Meatwad:''' No! I would never-
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[kneels]'' You’d better kneel down and pray to Jimmy with me '''''RIGHT FREAKING NOW!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
: '''Meatwad:''' Why can’t Frylock be immortal? 
: '''Master Shake:''' He’ll never enter the kingdom with us.
: '''Meatwad:''' What kingdom?
: '''Master Shake:''' Kingdom...of...Kong! It’s in the book.
: '''Frylock:''' The Bibble, Jimmy and Kingdom Kong.
: '''Master Shake:''' It’s up in the clouds with Lando, and didn’t I tell you to suck it?! And I don’t hear any gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck!
: '''Frylock:''' You know this book is self-published?
: '''Master Shake:''' Yes, like many ancient texts.
: '''Frylock:''' On the back of a bunch of pharmacy labels?
: '''Master Shake:''' Do not '''''blaspheme''''' the book of Clozapine! Come on, Meatwad. Follow me down the righteous path. Begone, ye Fryman!
: '''Frylock:''' I live here. ''You’re'' the one who’s leaving.
: '''Master Shake:''' And leaving we are! Onward...so.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Frylock:''' Least they're still trying to electrocute Carl. How many days he's gonna do this?
:''[Carl in the electric chair, gets shocked]''
:'''Carl:''' That felt good!
:''[Carl gets electrocuted again]''
:'''Carl:''' How b-b-bout you crank it up b-b-bitch?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines of the series; Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad have been watching the final episode the whole time on TV, and are utterly disappointed]''
: '''Master Shake:''' Come on, really?
: '''Carl:''' So that's it. That's how they end this series?
: '''Frylock:''' Yeah, I guess so.
: '''Meatwad:''' We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title||Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}	 

[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons]]

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:100%; text-align: center;&quot;
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Preceded by&lt;br&gt;'''''[[Aqua TV Show Show]]'''''
|}
{{Adult Swim}}</text>
      <sha1>ce4s24vsnufyo4shbab7k7qrs58ouxt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154758</id>
      <parentid>3154756</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:19:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>47.16.125.30</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Hospice */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12380" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 1)|1]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)|2]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 3)|3]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 4)|4]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 5)|5]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)|6]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 7)|7]] | [[Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1]] | [[Aqua Something You Know Whatever]] | [[Aqua TV Show Show]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever]] | [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|'''Main''']]
----
&lt;br&gt;
:''Aqua Teen won't ever be cancelled!''
:''Aqua Teen won't be dismantled!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be together!''
:''Aqua Teen, we're gonna be forever!''
'''''[[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''''', (also known by various [[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Alternative titles|alternative titles]]), (2000–15) is an [[w:animated series|animated television series]] from the [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]'s [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]] programming block.  The show follows the exploits of three [[w:anthropomorphic|anthropomorphic]] fast food items: [[w:Master Shake|Master Shake]], the milkshake; [[w:Frylock|Frylock]], the carton of French fries; and [[w:Meatwad|Meatwad]], the aptly named wad of meat.

===Brain Fairy===
:'''Meatwad''': Frylock be sleeping late today.
:'''Shake''': Yeah, when is he gonna get up and make us breakfast? It's passed noon.
:'''Meatwad''': You don't think he's dead, do you?
:'''Shake''': Well, there's only one way to find out. (Airhorn blows) WAKE YOUR SORRY ASS UP!
:'''Frylock''': Ear hurty!
:'''Shake''': Yeah, that's right. And stomach growly, so get crackin'!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': (trying to cook breakfast) Ow, hot, hot, hot! Ow, hot, hot, hot!
:'''Shake''': Yes, you have reached a suitable temperature. Now cook the crepes!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me drown, weren't you? Weren't you?
:'''Shake''': No. I mean, yeah, Chum. (Shake laughs)
:'''Carl''': What the hell? You were just gonna let me walk home from Crotch Town, weren't you?
:'''Meatwad'': Hey, Carl, guess what? I got my driver's license!
:'''Carl''': Good for you. Where is my car?!
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, yeah. Some big black guy drove it and dumped it in the ocean. That's how they do.

===The Hairy Bus===
:'''Hairy Bus''': So you guys trying to &quot;Murder&quot; me?
:'''Carl''': Ah, you ain't alive. You're a bus.
:'''Hairy Bus''': I live just as &quot;You&quot;, sir.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Carl, why do you have a hacksaw?
:'''Carl''': We're Going to see &quot;Texas Hacksaw Massacre&quot;. Don't Worry, it teaches kids lessons, like, you know, avoid Texas at all costs.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': No, no, no, no, no! We ain't got room for you!
:'''Master Shake''': You have a hatch back here, right?
:'''Carl''': I've got a woofer in there. And when I crank it, it'll make you go doo doo all over my car, so...
:'''Master Shake''': Well then, where am I gonna sit?
:'''Carl''': Oh I don't know, you can sit, uh, on &quot;This&quot;... AND ROTATE!
:'''Meatwad''': Good one, Carl.
:'''Carl''': YOU TEED UP FOR ME AND KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK!
:'''Master Shake''': I hope the theater burns down, with you two in it, while you're holding hands! Great, now I gotta be here with you! Frickin' ladies' night!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Okay, he said just look for a bus, like him, but shaved.
:'''Carl''': Or we could just play some slots and get a cheap hooker for a couple hours. I still have 20 dollars. You gotta be a real bargain hunter to find someone who'd do both of us.
:'''Frylock''': Carl, I can't just let it die. I signed the online Hippocratic oath.
:'''Carl''': Why do you gotta get a moral?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': Hey, how was the movie, Meatwad? And why are you covered in blood and chassis grease?
:'''Meatwad''': It was good, nothing.
:'''Carl''': Hey, how's that surgery class going? Are you like, uh, licensed yet? You know, how to do it now?
:'''Frylock''': Carl, what the hell, man?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': (about the Hairy Bus) Oh, man! Look! That's the Hairy Bus! The ultimate party vehicle. Ratt rented that when they toured Jersey for their &quot;Round and Round and Round Yet Again&quot; tour! It's got a DJ booth, a dance flor, a kegerator, a stripper pole, a hot tub, a two-story waterfall, and massage parlor.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Hairy Bus''': Wha-What did you have frickin' Christmas while you were down there? It's about goddamn time.
:'''Master Shake''': Frylock! Could you see if I can get my $550 back?
:'''Hairy Bus''': Nah, should've put it on the card.
:'''Master Shake''': When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue this bus for not being fun, and then, I'm gonna bitch-slap all of you for not letting me go to the movies with you! And anyone left standing when I get out is gonna be hurtin'!
:'''Frylock''': Ride the bus to bus hell, you bus!
:'''Hairy Bus''': Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wrong hole!
:'''Master Shake''': Man, you gotta suck!

===Sweet C===
:'''Carl:''' So you shrink me down, and then when I watch TV it's like a big screen at, like, At the Metalheads or something, right? Yeah!
:'''Frylock:''' That's right man, let's do it!
:'''Carl:''' Uh, wait. Hold on, now.
:'''Frylock:''' Oops, sorry. Did you say something?
:'''Carl:''' I mean, you know, I wanted to think about it for a second. I mean...
:'''Frylock:''' Oh, shoot. You know what, I...I kinda already did it.
:'''Carl''': But, I've got an idea here. You make me normal sized again, and then you make my TV &quot;Huge&quot;!
:'''Frylock:''' Come on, Carl. That's not realistic. I Mean, Where would you put it?
:'''Carl:''' What do you mean? You can put in the backyard, right next to the pool. Let's do that, this don't work for me. This remote's hard to do now.
:'''Frylock:''' No, man, this works good. See, you just gotta jump up and down the buttons a couple of times, you'll get it.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' There's only one queen I listen to, and they are the champions, my friend. Not her.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
: '''Carl:''' Now you listen to me, and I'mma tell you where to tell her where to go. You gotta give her the business. The Bees-ness!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl:''' Bees, unite on my brain. Give me a mighty bumble mullet. Because I cannot afford plugs, even on their financing plan.
:'''Frylock:''' Stop right there!
:'''Carl:''' Buzz off, Fryman, and leave us &quot;bee&quot;!

===Rabbit, Not Rabbot===
:'''Dr. Zord''': Randy!
:'''Randy''': Alright, I'm coming.
:'''Dr. Zord''': We have a non-believer in our midst.
:'''Randy''': A non-believer, huh? Well, what do you say we just pee in the fountain?
:'''Dr. Zord''': That's what we're doing, Randy! That's what we're doing!

:'''Shake''': I'm not a rabbit.
:'''Meatwad''': You are a rabbit.
:'''Shake''': No, I'm not.
:'''Meatwad''': Yes, you are.
:'''Shake''': I'm not a Sucking rabbit!
:'''Carl''': It's been six months. Anyone who wants a tarantula for Christmas, I don't wanna be with
:'''Meatwad''': I don't know why y'all complaining. These pellets are delicious.

===Hospice===
:'''Carl''': (about his mom) Hey, Sherlock Holmes! I guess we solved the mystery on what gave you lung cancer, huh? But you wouldn't listen to me, would you, Ma?! WOULD YOU?! (Carl cries)
:'''Dr. Belcher''': She needs to go into special care, to die. We can refer to you to a number of hospice facilities.
:'''Carl''': Oh, cool. You know, and then the state will cut a check and...
:'''Dr. Belcher''': (laughs) No, you will.
:'''Carl''': Oh, yeah, right. B-but then the state pays me back. You know like a reimbursement thing?
:'''Dr. Belcher''': No, like a you pay for services &quot;thing&quot;, out of your bank account &quot;thing.&quot;
:'''Carl''': I'm doing a good deed here! I'm freeing up a room for you guys!
:'''Dr. Belcher''': Look, pay for hospice or take her home. Either way, we're wheeling out to the curb at midnight.
:'''Carl''': [later that night, a nurse wheels Dolores, Carl's mother, out to the hospital lot and pushes her into the driveway] Crap. [later that night, Carl drives her home, tied to the rear end and fast]
:'''Dolores''': I swallowed a bug and I'm on speed! Carl? [Carl turns up the radio] Are you listening?

:'''Frylock''': You are gonna need a ramp here, buddy.
:'''Carl''': Nah, I mean, she might come out one more time. But I'll have the morgue dudes help me with that.
:'''Meatwad''': You need to get you one of them cool chair lift rides that go up and down the stairs. And you ain't gotta do nothing but press a button. Man, I can't wait till I get cancer, I'm gonna ride that shit all day.
:'''Carl''': Dude, she ain't going nowhere. She's gonna park her Boston cream filled ass right here, until the Devil extends his red hand to take her into the fiery depths. God rest her soul, I'm saying that in advanced.

:'''Carl''': Ma! Call them off, we can knock the football package down to the bronze level.
:'''Dolores''': [chants in indigenous language]
:'''Frylock''': She's speaking with the windwalkers, man. She doesn't understand English anymore.
:'''Carl''': Oh, but thank God you fixed the cancer, right? Way to go!
:'''Frylock''': I have an idea. I'm gonna tell them that I'm will make the sun disappear unless they let you go.
:'''Carl''': Yeah, yeah! Do that! They're dumb, they're rats.
:'''Frylock''': [speaks to the rats in an indigenous language; then back to English] Well here it is. They said, &quot;make the sun disappear now.&quot; and I said we had to wait until 8:00 tonight. They said &quot;bullshit.&quot; so now I'm kind of out of ideas.
:'''Carl''': Oh, Mr. &quot;I cured cancer&quot; just run out of ideas!

===The Greatest Story Ever Told===
: '''Meatwad:''' What we gonna do today?
: '''Master Shake:''' Not “today”, Meatwad. It’s the first day of eternity, because I just found out... that I’m Done immortal!
: '''Meatwad:''' Well, congratu-damn-lations!
: '''Master Shake:''' Thank you.
: '''Meatwad:''' That’s a big deal.
: '''Master Shake:''' Yea-heah!
: '''Meatwad:''' Question: am ''I'' immortal?
: '''Master Shake:''' I ''hope'' not, but you could be! You know, he loves the poor and the gross and slimy and worthless and... look at you! You’re all those things!
: '''Meatwad:''' Who you talking about? Who love me?
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[taps chest]'' The guy in here, man. And the guy in here. The Bible.
: '''Meatwad:''' ...this says “The Bibble.”
: '''Master Shake:''' ''YOU'' '''''QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!?!?!?!?'''''
: '''Meatwad:''' No! I would never-
: '''Master Shake:''' ''[kneels]'' You’d better kneel down and pray to Jimmy with me '''''RIGHT FREAKING NOW!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
: '''Meatwad:''' Why can’t Frylock be immortal? 
: '''Master Shake:''' He’ll never enter the kingdom with us.
: '''Meatwad:''' What kingdom?
: '''Master Shake:''' Kingdom...of...Kong! It’s in the book.
: '''Frylock:''' The Bibble, Jimmy and Kingdom Kong.
: '''Master Shake:''' It’s up in the clouds with Lando, and didn’t I tell you to suck it?! And I don’t hear any gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck!
: '''Frylock:''' You know this book is self-published?
: '''Master Shake:''' Yes, like many ancient texts.
: '''Frylock:''' On the back of a bunch of pharmacy labels?
: '''Master Shake:''' Do not '''''blaspheme''''' the book of Clozapine! Come on, Meatwad. Follow me down the righteous path. Begone, ye Fryman!
: '''Frylock:''' I live here. ''You’re'' the one who’s leaving.
: '''Master Shake:''' And leaving we are! Onward...so.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Frylock:''' Least they're still trying to electrocute Carl. How many days he's gonna do this?
:''[Carl in the electric chair, gets shocked]''
:'''Carl:''' That felt good!
:''[Carl gets electrocuted again]''
:'''Carl:''' How b-b-bout you crank it up b-b-bitch?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines of the series; Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad have been watching the final episode the whole time on TV, and are utterly disappointed]''
: '''Master Shake:''' Come on, really?
: '''Carl:''' So that's it. That's how they end this series?
: '''Frylock:''' Yeah, I guess so.
: '''Meatwad:''' We still got a few seconds left. Let's do a joke. Let's do like, a joke or something.

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title||Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}	 

[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons]]

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:100%; text-align: center;&quot;
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Preceded by&lt;br&gt;'''''[[Aqua TV Show Show]]'''''
|}
{{Adult Swim}}</text>
      <sha1>3z62nipjy45q60zmtweowwegybiufzp</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pete's Dragon (2016 film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>190320</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154764</id>
      <parentid>3152717</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:42:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2168" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Pete's Dragon (2016 film)|Pete's Dragon]]''''' is a 2016 American fantasy adventure film following the adventures of an orphaned boy named Pete and his Eilliott the dragon.
:''Directed by [[w:David Lowery|David Lowery]]. Written by [[w:David Lowery|David Lowery]] and Toby Halbrooks, and inspired by Disney's 1977 live-action/animated [[Pete's Dragon (film)|film of the same name]].''

== Dialogue ==
:''[into his radio]''
:'''Sheriff Dentler''': Attention all units, we're eastbound on Millhaven Road, in pursuit of a...
:'''Deputy Smalls''': Dragon! It's a dragon!
:'''Sheriff Dentler''': You can't say dragon over the radio!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Conrad Meacham''': How long has he been out there?
:'''Grace''': Six years.
:'''Conrad Meacham''': Six years. Nobody could survive in that forest for six years. At least not alone.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': ''[finding Elliot's paw print]'' Hey, guys. What do you think?
:'''Bobby''': A bear?
:'''Gavin''': Have you ever seen a bear that big?

== Cast ==
* '''[[Bryce Dallas Howard]]''' — Grace Meacham-Magary
* '''[[w:Oakes Fegley|Oakes Fegley]]''' — Pete Healy-Magary
* '''[[w:Wes Bentley|Wes Bentley]]''' — Jack Magary
* '''[[w:Karl Urban|Karl Urban]]''' — Gavin Magary
* '''[[w:Oona Laurence|Oona Laurence]]''' — Natalie Magary
* '''[[w:Isiah Whitlock Jr.|Isiah Whitlock]]''' — Sheriff Gene Dentler
* '''[[w:Robert Redford|Robert Redford]]''' — Conrad Meacham
* '''[[w:Marcus Henderson (actor)|Marcus Henderson]]''' — Woodrow
* '''Aaron Jackson''' — Abner
* '''Paul Grieve''' — Bobby
* '''[[w:John Kassir|John Kassir]]''' — Elliott the Dragon &lt;small&gt;(vocal effects)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Esmée Myers''' — Mrs. Healy
* '''Gareth Reeves''' — Mr. Healy

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|2788732}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Dragon films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films set in forests]]
[[Category:Films about orphans]]
[[Category:Films about dragons]]
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]</text>
      <sha1>kmw96mfrtm6w3ba2yabxa89w4gzl529</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154765</id>
      <parentid>3154764</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:42:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2135" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Pete's Dragon (2016 film)|Pete's Dragon]]''''' is a 2016 American fantasy adventure film following the adventures of an orphaned boy named Pete and his Eilliott the dragon.
:''Directed by [[w:David Lowery|David Lowery]]. Written by [[w:David Lowery|David Lowery]] and Toby Halbrooks, and inspired by Disney's 1977 live-action/animated [[Pete's Dragon (film)|film of the same name]].''

== Dialogue ==
:''[into his radio]''
:'''Sheriff Dentler''': Attention all units, we're eastbound on Millhaven Road, in pursuit of a...
:'''Deputy Smalls''': Dragon! It's a dragon!
:'''Sheriff Dentler''': You can't say dragon over the radio!
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Conrad Meacham''': How long has he been out there?
:'''Grace''': Six years.
:'''Conrad Meacham''': Six years. Nobody could survive in that forest for six years. At least not alone.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Gavin''': ''[finding Elliot's paw print]'' Hey, guys. What do you think?
:'''Bobby''': A bear?
:'''Gavin''': Have you ever seen a bear that big?

== Cast ==
* '''[[Bryce Dallas Howard]]''' — Grace Meacham-Magary
* '''[[w:Oakes Fegley|Oakes Fegley]]''' — Pete Healy-Magary
* '''[[w:Wes Bentley|Wes Bentley]]''' — Jack Magary
* '''[[w:Karl Urban|Karl Urban]]''' — Gavin Magary
* '''[[w:Oona Laurence|Oona Laurence]]''' — Natalie Magary
* '''[[w:Isiah Whitlock Jr.|Isiah Whitlock]]''' — Sheriff Gene Dentler
* '''[[w:Robert Redford|Robert Redford]]''' — Conrad Meacham
* '''[[w:Marcus Henderson (actor)|Marcus Henderson]]''' — Woodrow
* '''Aaron Jackson''' — Abner
* '''Paul Grieve''' — Bobby
* '''[[w:John Kassir|John Kassir]]''' — Elliott the Dragon &lt;small&gt;(vocal effects)&lt;/small&gt;
* '''Esmée Myers''' — Mrs. Healy
* '''Gareth Reeves''' — Mr. Healy

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|2788732}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Dragon films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films set in forests]]
[[Category:Films about orphans]]
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]</text>
      <sha1>cu6i6pcutj8vpmskd7z7mp3466vkmuj</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pokémon/Season 15</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>191806</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154743</id>
      <parentid>3153290</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T00:17:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Piplup, Pansage, and a Meeting of Times! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19364" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]
----
&lt;br/&gt;
This is a list of episodes in Pokémon: Black and White Rival Destinies, the fifteenth season of the Pokémon animated series.

==Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader!==
:'''Cilan''': ''[reading note near the Gym entrance]'' I regret I'll be away for the fashion show.
:'''Bianca''': I was just reading something about that. ''[flips through her magazine]'' Here it is, it's close by! Awww...let's go! It's a chance to see Elesa in her very own fashion show! Wow! ''[dashes off to the fashion show]''
:'''Iris''': Well, what about you? 
:'''Ash''': Well, without a Gym Leader, I guess I'm stuck.
:'''Cilan''': I know! Why don't we go too? Learning about a Gym Leader before you battle might be good thing. 
:'''Ash''': Yeah, you're right!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Elesa is showing off her new outfits on the runway...]''
:'''Bianca''': Awesome...
:'''Ash''': Yeah...
:'''Pikachu''': Pikachu! [Indeed]
:''[At this point, Elesa turns her attention to Ash and pals.]''
:'''Elesa''': Huh? I'm tingling all over! ''[She leaps off the runway and meets the heroes face to face.]''
:'''Ash''': Whoa!
:'''Elesa''': A Pikachu! Never seen one up close! Wow, you shine like the sun! Is this your Pikachu?
 &lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Iris''': Since Ash lost, does that mean he has to go back to Pallet Town?
:'''Ash''': IRIS, STOP!!

==Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym!==
:''[Ash's Palpitoad loses against Elesa's Emolga]''
:'''Ash''': ''[horrified]'' You can't be serious! I was going to win every battle with you! ''[sadly recalls Palpitoad]''
:'''Iris''': ''[baffled]'' Ash's strategy was just Palpitoad?
:'''Cilan''': Well, if I have to guess, yes.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Elesa''': Attract, won't you? ''[Her Emolga complies]''
:'''Ash''': Snivy, counter with Attract! ''[His Snivy also does so...wait a second...]''
:'''Cilan''': An Attract Battle?!
:'''Iris''': Isn't Snivy a girl?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Both Snivy and Emolga's Attract cancel each other out as they are both females!]''
:'''Ash''': Attract didn't work!
:'''Elesa''': ''[surprised]'' You're right! By any chance, does your Snivy happen to be a female?
:'''Ash''': ''[looking completely embarrassed]'' Argh, of course! I totally forgot!!
:''[Cut to Iris, Cilan, Pikachu and Axew with disbelieving expressions and face-fault.]''
: '''Iris''' ''[eyebrow twitching]'': How many times will it take for Ash to learn that Attract doesn't work between girls!?
:'''Cilan''': Good question, although this is Ash after all!
:''[Pikachu and Axew sitting with their backs against each other, sweatdropping]'' 
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-Pikachu... [My trainer is an idiot!]
:'''Axew''': Axew...[Agreed...]
:''[It gets worse...]''
:'''Ash''': So who cares? Electric-type moves aren't very effective on Grass type Pokemon anyway.
:'''Elesa''' ''[smiling indulgently]'': I think you've forgotten something, Ash.
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Elesa''': Emolga may be an Electric-type, but remember it's a Flying-type as well.
:'''Ash''': That's right! Flying-type moves are super effective against Grass-types...''[freaks out immediately]'' OH MAN, SNIVY'S A GRASS-TYPE POKÉMON!! ''[Really Ash? How can you screw up this BAD?!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pikachu''': PIKA-PIKACHU!! [JUST USE ME YOU IMBECILE!] 
:'''Ash''': You got any ideas?
:'''Pikachu''': PIKA! PIKACHU! [YES! USE ME FOR THE FIGHT!] Pi...[Well?!]

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Elesa''': ''[recalls Emolga]'' Emolga, you were brilliant...like the sun. ''[To Ash and Pikachu]'' You two are shining bright! So bright that I can hardly look straight at you both, like a million shooting stars. So if that's the case, I'll just have to make sure we shine a million times brighter than you! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Elesa''': ''[sees Pikachu climbing out of the hole trap her Tynamo put him in]'' There's that sparkle again!

==Ash Versus The Champion!==
:'''Trip''': Alder! It's me!
:'''Alder''': You? Well, I'll be!
:'''Trip''': We only met once when I was a kid! I can't believe you still remember me.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': Hi! I'm Ash Ketchum. Will you have a battle with me?
:'''Trip''': HEY, COOL YOUR JETS! ALDER'S BATTLING ME FIRST!
:'''Ash''': IT'S FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!
:'''Trip''': WHAT?!
:''[Ash and Trip struggle on who will battle Alder first]''
:'''Alder''': The price of things. Now, just relax. I'll battle both of you!

==Battling the King of the Mines!==
:''[Clay summons Krokorok into the battle]''
:'''Ash''': Krokorok, huh?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-Pikachu! [Ready when you are!]
:'''Ash''': Hold on Pikachu. We got a problem. Krokorok is a Ground-type. Your Electric type moves won't be effective against it! 
:'''Pikachu''': Pikaa....[Awwww....]

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash's Snivy effortlessly stomps out Clay's Palpitoad, much to Clay's fury]''
:'''Clay''': WHY YOU LITTLE WHIPPERSNAPPER PIPSQUEAK! Palpitoad return! ''[furiously recalls Palpitoad]'' You're really starting to make me mad and I don't like that! If there's one thing that I will not tolerate, it's an unfair battle!
:'''Ash''': Unfair?! What are you talking about?! That was just my strategy.
:'''Clay''': STRATEGY?! A young whippersnapper like you should forget about strategy and attack head on like a real man! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': My goal is to become a Pokemon Master. I'm not about to give up now.
:'''Clay''': You still don't get it, kid. ''[shows off his pickaxe to Ash]'' Take a look at this pickaxe. I started digging this mine with it along with Excadrill back when I was a young whippersnapper about your age. And now look how big it is. But you think that you're all ready to become a Pokemon master lickety-split. I used this pickaxe to dig every square inch of this mine which earned me the title, King of the Mines! So my job is to show you how tough the road to the top really is, see? ''[Note: In other words, there are no shortcuts in life, hard work is how you can get to the top]''

==Battling the Bully==
:'''Ash:''' You'll be a trainer before you know it. Take it from me.
:'''Mick:''' Cool! I'm gonna travel all over the world and catch lots of Pokémon, and then I'm gonna make them all my friends.
:'''Ash:''' Don't forget, this is what's important! ''[places his fist over Mick's heart]''
:'''Mick:''' Hmm?
:'''Ash:''' It's your heart, for sure!
:'''Mick:''' Yeah?
:'''Ash:''' You bet. It doesn't matter if you're catching Pokémon or battling: Making sure you do it all with your heart is the most important thing of all.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After losing to a Pokémon battle to Mick, fair and square]''
:'''Glenn:''' Look, Punk! I don't remember telling you you could beat me.
:'''Mick:''' But all I was doing was battling the best that I know how.
:'''Glenn:''' THAT'S WHAT I MEAN!! ''[raises his fist to punch Mick]''
:'''Mick:''' Ohh! ''[covers his face]''
:''[Ash's hand grabs Glenn's fist before he lands a punch.]''
:'''Ash:''' HEY!
:'''Glenn:''' Huh?
:''[Iris and Cilan look on with a look of shock, seeing the serious angry side of Ash.]''
:'''Ash:''' STOP IT!

==Baffling the Bouffalant==

==Cilan Takes Flight!==
:'''Cilan''': Of all the ridiculous... '''STOP THIS!!!'''
:''[Cilan angrily stomps off towards Skyla]''
:'''Iris''': Cilan!
:'''Ash''': I'M COMING TOO!
:''[Ash heads off with Cilan as well]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Skyla''': Thanks! I think I can squeeze in a quick flight.
:'''Ash &amp; Cilan''': SKYLA!!!
:'''Skyla''': What's wrong?
:''[Ash &amp; Cilan furiously march towards Skyla]''
:'''Ash''': COME ON! YOU CALL THOSE GYM BATTLES?!!
:'''Cilan''': I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE US AN EXPLAINATION, '''IN FULL!!!'''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Skyla''': I'm not getting any complaints! If I know the results, then why bother going to all that trouble? And besides, sweaty battles are so yesterday. Later, Grandpa!

==An Amazing Aerial Battle!==

==Battling the Leaf Thieves!==
:'''Ash''': Wow. Thanks Emolga. Swadloon evolved because of you. That was a great battle.
:'''Emolga''': Emol? Emol-Emol-Emol! [I did? I mean, thanks! I'm glad I could help your Swadloon evolve in battle!]
:'''Iris''': You're the best, Emolga!

==Evolution by Fire!==
:''[Note: This Pokemon episode has the lowest ratings in the entire series. This episode is the reason why the writers cannot reuse the story about Ash's Fire-type starters being abandoned by an abusive trainer anymore.]''

:'''Shamus''': Come on, Fire Warriors! Emboar, Heatmor, showtime!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After recalling his defeated Emboar and Heatmor, Shamus walks over to Ash, Snivy and Pignite]''
:'''Ash''': You still got a problem, Shamus?!
:'''Shamus''': Oh no, you won the battle fair and square. ''[to Pignite]'' Sorry Pignite. I was totally wrong when I said you had no talent and I hope you'll forgive me.
:'''Pignite''': Pignite? [Forgive you?]
:'''Shamus''': Hey, I know! Since you haven't been able to forget me after all this time, why don't you come back to the team? We'll be great, give up on this loser trainer and come with me. We'll reach the top with the new Fire Warriors! What do you say? 
:''[Pignite thinks a second, but remembering that Shamus replaced him with a 'better' Emboar, Pignite violently retaliates with Flamethrower burning Shamus' face. Pignite stands next to Ash]''
:'''Ash''': You see, Pignite's one of the gang. Looks like we're staying as a team. ''[Both Pignite and Snivy agree]''
:'''Shamus''': ''[runs away embarrassed, almost tearing up]'' I'll remember this!

:''[Note: Audience members are not stupid as they can compare Pignite with Charizard and Infernape. Not only that, but the writers failed to evolve Ash's Pignite into an Emboar when they had the chance to do so. This is why Pignite is not well received compared to Ash's previous two fully-evolved Fire-type Starters.]''

==Guarding the Guardian of the Mountain!==

==Caution: Icy Battle Conditions!==

==Clash of the Connoisseurs!==
:'''Nurse Joy''': Ash, wait! Did you just say you were going to the Opelucid Gym?
:'''Ash''': You bet! We're heading on over, right now!
:'''Nurse Joy''': Then I guess I have a little bad news for you. I just received word that the Opelucid Gym is closed.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As the heroes are riding in a limousine to Mr. Hatterly's mansion, they meet a familiar face at the gate]''
:'''Cilan''': Burgundy? What are you doing here?
:'''Burgundy''': I came all this way because I heard they were looking for a skilled Pokemon Connoisseuse but they won't let me in!
:'''Butler''': You will have to forgive us. Mr. Hatterly requires the services of an A-Class Pokemon Connoisseur! 
:'''Cilan''': Now let me see. You're a...
:'''Burgundy''': What's wrong with C-Class, monsieur?!
:'''Cilan''': Why nothing! 
:'''Butler''': I fear a C-Class like yourself won't suffice. ''[Keep in mind, C-Class connoisseurs are beginners and are way less experienced when compared to A-Class Connoisseurs]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cilan''': I pride myself in my knowledge in all Pokemon Connoisseurs, but I've never heard of you.
:''''Fauxgundy'''': Uhh...I became an S-Class Connoisseur long before you two were born, that's it!
:'''Ricard Nouveau''': ''[unconvinced]'' Now that's strange. I didn't think there ''was'' a connoisseur association back then. 
:'''Cilan''': Would you mind showing us your Connoisseur badge once more?
:''''Fauxgundy'''': Of all the INSULTING...''[At the same time, a Lillipup starts playing with the badge]'' You give that back!
:''[Lillipup licks the badge causing the 'S' sticker to fall off revealing that it is just a 'C' Badge]''
:'''Cilan''': Why, that's a C-Class badge!
:'''Ricard Nouveau''': You forged it to look just like an S-Class Badge!
:''''Fauxgundy'''': Give that back! ''[As 'Fauxgundy' tackles Lillipup, the outfit becomes ruined revealing it is none other than Burgundy]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ricard Nouveau summons his Purrloin into the battlefield]''
:'''Cilan''': ''[horrified]'' Augh! NOT A PURRLOIN!
:'''Ricard Nouveau''': Oh, something wrong? You're not afraid of a Purrloin?
:'''Cilan''': No...I'm just fine. ''[Not really]'' We'll just attack head on and now presenting my Crustle!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Crustle's Rock Wrecker knocks out Ricard Nouveau's Purrloin and also sends an unseen Burgundy blasting off Team Rocket style!]''
:'''Ash''': Huh? Could have sworn I've heard that before.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Cilan is declared winner of the Connoisseur battle]''
:'''Ricard Nouveau''': Purrloin, you'll be alright. Now take a good rest. ''[recalls Purrloin]''
:'''Cilan''': ''[walking up to Ricard Nouveau with Crustle]'' Ricard. So, what do you think of Crustle?
:'''Ricard Nouveau''': ''[a bit embarrassed but admits...]'' I guess you and Crustle are sparkling and unpredictable after all.

==Crisis at Ferroseed Research!==

==An Epic Defence Force!==

==Rocking the Virbank Gym! Part 1==

==Rocking the Virbank Gym! Part 2==

==All for the Love of Meloetta!==

==Piplup, Pansage, and a Meeting of Times!==
:''[As Ash enters the living room, Dawn and Piplup sneak up behind him. Dawn taps on Ash's shoulder]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Who was that?]
:''[As Ash turns to one side, Dawn steps aside, then Ash turns to the other side, Dawn steps on the opposite side]''
:'''Ash''': Who's that? ''[turns around and realizes it's his pals from Sinnoh]'' Ahaha! It's Dawn!
:'''Pikachu''': Pi-Pi-chu! [Good to see you again!]
:'''Dawn''': Hi! It's been a long time, Ash! ''[gives Ash a wink]''
:'''Piplup''': Pip-Piplup! [Hiya Pikachu!]
:'''Ash''': ''[does the same thing]'' Sure has!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika! [Hi again, Piplup!]
:''Both Ash and Dawn do their Hi-Touch high five]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Oshawott angrily attacks Piplup with Aqua Jet given that Piplup was interacting with Meloetta, much to their trainer's shock]''
:'''Oshawott''': Osha! [That'll teach ya!]
:'''Piplup''': Piplup! [What do you think you're doing?!]
:'''Dawn''': Piplup, all you alright?
:'''Ash''': OSHAWOTT! Why did you do that to Piplup? Now say you're sorry!
:'''Oshawott''': Osha? ... Oshawott. [Sorry? Ugh... I'm sorry.]
:'''Piplup''': ...Lup! [...No, you're not!]
:'''Oshawott''': Grr!
:'''Piplup''': Grr!
:'''Ash''': Man.
:'''Cilan''': It looks like Oshawott like Meloetta.
:'''Dawn''': I'd say Piplup does too. Looks like there's a bit of competition going on.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Oshawott gets mad and jealous that Piplup is dancing with Meloetta. As the two continue dancing and singing, Piplup gives Oshawott a rude smirk]''
:'''Piplup''': Lu-lup! [U mad bro?]
:'''Oshawott''': OSHA-SHA! [SHUT UP!]
:'''Iris''': Looks like things are starting to heat up.
:'''Ash''': ''[unimpressed]'' Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dawn''': Guess connoisseurs love talking as much as they love food.
:'''Piplup''': Piplup? [You serious?]

==Expedition to Onix Island!==
:'''Dawn''': You're an awesome chef, Cilan! He'd give Brock a run for his money, right?
:'''Ash''': Right!
:'''Iris''': Who's Brock, Ash?
:'''Ash''': He's a good friend who was on my journey with for a long time. He was always making meals for us.

==Iris and the Rogue Dragonite!==
:'''Dawn''': I can't do a thing with my hair! It almost acts like it has a mind of its own!
:'''Iris''': Ever notice a pattern here? You go through the same routine day after day.

==Goodbye Junior Cup-Hello Adventure!==
:'''Referee''': Serperior is unable to continue! Bouffalant wins! And that means the winner is Alder the Champion!
:'''Freddy O'Martian''': Alder wins the battle with just one attack! A brave challenge by Trip sure, but he falls short of victory! Once again, Alder proves why he is a Champion! ''[Until Journeys when Iris became the new Unova Champion, causing Trip's failure of accomplishing his goal of defeating Alder more permanent]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Trip''': Alder.
:'''Alder''': What is it?
:'''Trip''': I didn't stand a chance against you. Won't you please tell me what I did wrong in our battle? I must have been lacking something.
:'''Alder''': You really didn't do anything wrong. You weren't lacking anything. ''[Except experience]''
:'''Trip''': But you beat me. You kept me from showing how strong I've become.
:'''Alder''': So what if I did? Thinking back, you asked me the same thing a while ago. I'm pretty sure I know the answer but do you have any admiration for a man like me? Winning, losing, strength, weakness, in the end, your Pokémon will determine all that. There is no easy answer to what you ask. But if I have to choose one thing, I'd say look at all you've learned from the day you started on your journey right up to today. That may be the answer you seek.
:'''Trip''': Everything I learned...
:''[Note: This loss was to remind fans that while Trip is a skilled trainer, he is very inexperienced. Trip represents a trainer who thinks that defeating a Champion is easy in real life like in the video games but not realizing there is a difference between video games and reality.]''

==The Road to Humilau!==

==Unrest at the Nursery!==

==Meloetta and the Undersea Temple!==
:'''Ash''': What's up, Pikachu?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika.
:''[A Persian jumps out from behind a bush)
:'''Persian''': Me-owww. (Ash, Pikachu and Meloetta jump out of the way) Purrrr.
:'''Ash''': Hey, that Pokémon...
:'''Persian''': Raowww. (Ash scans it with his PokéDex)
:'''Ash's PokéDex''': Persian, the classy cat Pokémon and the evolved form of Meowth. Persian can walk silently, thanks to its nimble muscles. It pounces on its prey at lightning speed.
:'''Ash''': (to Meloetta) Make yourself invisible. Quick! (Meloetta goes invisible) All right.
:'''Persian''': Purrrr. Rawh!
:'''Ash''': Huh? (Sees Giovanni standing on a floating disc and wearing goggles)
:'''Giovanni''': Mmm. Meloetta, I know you're here. Make it easy on yourself and come out.
:'''Ash''': Get away! Hurry!
:'''Giovanni''': Persian, use Shadow Claw.
:''[Persian uses Shadow Claw]''
:'''Ash''': Pikachu, Iron Tail.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-chu! (Uses Iron Tail on Persian)
:'''Giovanni''': Power Gem.
:''[Persian unleashes a powerful Power Gem attack on Pikachu, blasting him into Ash]''
:'''Ash''': Oh!
:''[Meloetta reappears]''
:'''Meloetta''': Oh, no! (Ash and Pikachu get trapped in a force field cage, fired from a helicopter above them which turns into a cube, trapping them) No-me. No!
:'''Giovanni''': Meloetta. (Meloetta turns to him) Do as I say immediately, or the boy and his Pikachu will be very sorry.
:''[The cube starts to shrink a bit]''
:'''Ash''': What's going on?
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:'''Giovanni''': In just a moment, they'll be much smaller than they are now.
:'''Ash''': Meloetta, get out of here.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika pika!
:'''Meloetta''': No-me, no!
:''[The cube grows a bit]''
:'''Giovanni''': That's a good Pokémon. (Returns Persian to its Poké ball)

==Unova's Survival Crisis!==

[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
      <sha1>1i99283gnvscvxux0efjjl6a1c3qa6j</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>192527</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154739</id>
      <parentid>3121287</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:37:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:1017:B4A4:AD2E:1565:6E04:B46:2614</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6714" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Hermey the elf and Rudolph.jpg|right|thumb|250px|I am not just a nitwit]]
'''''[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]''''' is a 1964 Christmas stop motion animated television special about a misfit reindeer and his friends who look for a place that will accept them. It first aired Sunday, December 6, 1964, on the NBC television network in the United States. The special was based on the [[w:Johnny Marks|Johnny Marks]] song &quot;[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (song)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]&quot; which was itself based on the 1939 poem ''[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' written by Marks' brother-in-law [[Robert L. May]]. 

== Sam the Snowman ==
* If I live to be 100, I'll never be able to forget that big snowstorm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and.... well, you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. ''[tips his hat]'' Oh, excuse me! Call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before? Nice around here, isn't it? I call it Christmastown, better known as the North Pole. The Christmas tree forest. Yep. Here's where we grow 'em. Nice place to live, you know. Christmas seals. Of course, the #1 citizens up here are the Clauses; Santa and the Missus. They live right over there. ''[scene pans to Santa's workshop]'' First castle on the left. Matter of fact, the ''only'' castle on the left. ''[chuckles]''

* Now, you know how Santa uses these reindeer to pull his sleigh. 

* ''[last line]'' Well, folks, as for the rest of the story,... ''[sings]'' He went down in history!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rudolph''': Hey, Clarice? After practice, would you...? Would you...?
:'''Comet''': Rudolph! You get back here! It's your turn, you know!
:'''Rudolph''': Gee, I've gotta go back! ''[starts to run off, but then runs back]'' Would you walk home with me?
:'''Clarice''': Uh-huh. Rudolph.... ''[to his ear]'' .... I think you're cute.
:'''Rudolph''': ''[jumps around on first flight]'' I'm cute! ''[as he flies into the air]'' I'M CUTE! ''[lands in front of Comet]''
:'''Comet''': Magnificent!
:'''Rudolph''': I'm cute! I'm cute! She said I'm CUTE! ''[jumps into the air again]''
:'''Santa''': Not bad! Not bad at all!
:'''Fireball''': ''[after Rudolph lands in the snow]'' Hey! You're okay!
:'''Rudolph''': She said I'm cute!
:''[both laugh as they are engaging in celebratory play until suddenly Rudolph's nose cover pops off, revealing his red nose, which lit red]''
:'''Fireball''': ''[shocked]'' For crying out loud!
:'''Rudolph''': Fireball? What's the matter?
:'''Fireball''': G-G-Get away! Get away from me!
:'''Comet''': Now, now. What's all this nonsense here, bucks? After all-- ''[yells when he sees Rudolph's nose]''
:''[other reindeer gasp, then laugh]''
:'''Reindeer #1''': Hey! Look at the beak!
:'''Reindeer #2''': Hey, Fire-Snoot!
:'''Reindeer #3''': Rainbow-Puss!
:'''Reindeer #4''': Red-Schnoz!
:'''Rudolph''': ''[offended]'' Stop calling me names!
:'''Reindeer #5''': Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!
:'''Santa''': Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself! What a pity. He had a nice takeoff, too.
:'''Comet''': ''[blows his whistle]'' Alright! Alright, now, yearlings! Back to practice! ''[to Rudolph who tries to join]'' Oh, no! Not you. You'd better go home with your folks. From now on, gang, we won't let Rudolph join in ''any'' reindeer games, right?
:'''Reindeer''': Right!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rudolph''': Hey! We're all misfits, too! Maybe we could stay here for a little while.
:'''Charlie''': Well, you'd have to get permission from King Moonracer.
:'''Rudolph''': Who's he?
:'''Charlie''': ''[pointing to the castle on the rocks]'' He rules here. Every night, he searches the entire earth. When he finds a misfit toy, 1 that no little boy or girl loves, he brings it here to live on this island till someone wants it. He's holding court in his castle right now.
:''[the trio arrives at the castle]''
:'''King Moonracer''': Come closer. What d'you desire?
:'''Rudolph''': Well, we're a couple of misfits from Christmastown and we'd like to live here.
:'''Moonracer''': No, that would not be possible because this island is for toys alone.
:'''Yukon Cornelius''': How d'you like that? Even among misfits, you're a misfit.
:'''Moonracer''': Unlike playthings, a living creature cannot hide himself on an island. But perhaps, being misfits yourselves, you just might help the toys.
:'''Rudolph''': Help them?
:'''Moonracer''': Yes. When someday, you return to Christmastown, would you tell Santa about our homeless toys? I'm sure he would find little boys and girls who would be happy with them. A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.
:'''Rudolph''':  When and if we get back, we'll tell Santa, sir.
:'''Moonracer''': Good. You are free to spend the night. ''[claps his front paws twice]'' Footmen, show our friends to their chambers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa''': Quiet, everyone! Please! Quiet! Quiet. Shh. I've got some bad news, folks. Christmas is going to be cancelled. There's nothing I can do because of this weather-- ''[Rudolph's nose shines in his face]'' Rudolph. Rudolph, please! Could you tone it down a bit? I mean, that nose of yours. That.... That.... nose! That beautiful, wonderful nose!
:'''Rudolph''': Huh?
:'''Santa''': Rudolph, Christmas is not off and.... you're going to lead my team tonight!
:'''Rudolph''': I am?
:'''Santa''': Yes, sir. You and that wonderful nose of yours!
:'''Rudolph''': My nose, sir?
:'''Santa''': Ho-ho-ho! From what I see, now, that'll cut through the murkiest storm that they can dish up. What I'm trying to say is.... Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
:'''Rudolph''': It will be an honor, sir. 
:’’’Donner’’’: I knew that nose would be useful someday. I knew it all along! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
Charlie-in-the-box: Well, it’s Christmas Eve, but…

== Cast ==
* [[w:Billie Mae Richards|Billie Mae Richards]] - Rudolph
* Stan Francis - Santa Claus
* [[w:Paul Kligman|Paul Kligman]] - Donner, Coach Comet, and Clarice's unnamed father
* [[w:Burl Ives|Burl Ives]] - Sam the Snowman
* [[w:Paul Soles|Paul Soles]] - Hermey
* Janis Orenstein - Clarice 
* [[w:Larry D. Mann|Larry D. Mann]] - Yukon Cornelius
* [[w:Peg Dixon|Peg Dixon]] - Mrs. Claus.
* [[w:Carl Banas|Carl Banas]] - the Head Elf
* Stan Francis - King Moonracer
* Alfie Scopp - Charlie-In-The-Box
* Carl Banas - the Spotted Elephant
* Corinne Conley - Dolly

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
* {{IMDb title|id=0058536|title=Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer}}

[[Category:1964 films]]
[[Category:Animated Christmas TV specials]]</text>
      <sha1>rw2d576qtvqqbw9kydyfoxjuqam356k</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154755</id>
      <parentid>3154739</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:08:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2600:1017:B4A4:AD2E:1565:6E04:B46:2614|2600:1017:B4A4:AD2E:1565:6E04:B46:2614]] ([[User talk:2600:1017:B4A4:AD2E:1565:6E04:B46:2614|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2600:1017:B4A4:AD2E:1565:6E04:B46:2614|contributions]]) to last version by 108.29.85.180</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6641" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Hermey the elf and Rudolph.jpg|right|thumb|250px|I am not just a nitwit]]
'''''[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (TV special)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]''''' is a 1964 Christmas stop motion animated television special about a misfit reindeer and his friends who look for a place that will accept them. It first aired Sunday, December 6, 1964, on the NBC television network in the United States. The special was based on the [[w:Johnny Marks|Johnny Marks]] song &quot;[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (song)|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]&quot; which was itself based on the 1939 poem ''[[w:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer|Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer]]'' written by Marks' brother-in-law [[Robert L. May]]. 

== Sam the Snowman ==
* If I live to be 100, I'll never be able to forget that big snowstorm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and.... well, you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. ''[tips his hat]'' Oh, excuse me! Call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before? Nice around here, isn't it? I call it Christmastown, better known as the North Pole. The Christmas tree forest. Yep. Here's where we grow 'em. Nice place to live, you know. Christmas seals. Of course, the #1 citizens up here are the Clauses; Santa and the Missus. They live right over there. ''[scene pans to Santa's workshop]'' First castle on the left. Matter of fact, the ''only'' castle on the left. ''[chuckles]''

* Now, you know how Santa uses these reindeer to pull his sleigh. 

* ''[last line]'' Well, folks, as for the rest of the story,... ''[sings]'' He went down in history!

== Dialogue ==
:'''Rudolph''': Hey, Clarice? After practice, would you...? Would you...?
:'''Comet''': Rudolph! You get back here! It's your turn, you know!
:'''Rudolph''': Gee, I've gotta go back! ''[starts to run off, but then runs back]'' Would you walk home with me?
:'''Clarice''': Uh-huh. Rudolph.... ''[to his ear]'' .... I think you're cute.
:'''Rudolph''': ''[jumps around on first flight]'' I'm cute! ''[as he flies into the air]'' I'M CUTE! ''[lands in front of Comet]''
:'''Comet''': Magnificent!
:'''Rudolph''': I'm cute! I'm cute! She said I'm CUTE! ''[jumps into the air again]''
:'''Santa''': Not bad! Not bad at all!
:'''Fireball''': ''[after Rudolph lands in the snow]'' Hey! You're okay!
:'''Rudolph''': She said I'm cute!
:''[both laugh as they are engaging in celebratory play until suddenly Rudolph's nose cover pops off, revealing his red nose, which lit red]''
:'''Fireball''': ''[shocked]'' For crying out loud!
:'''Rudolph''': Fireball? What's the matter?
:'''Fireball''': G-G-Get away! Get away from me!
:'''Comet''': Now, now. What's all this nonsense here, bucks? After all-- ''[yells when he sees Rudolph's nose]''
:''[other reindeer gasp, then laugh]''
:'''Reindeer #1''': Hey! Look at the beak!
:'''Reindeer #2''': Hey, Fire-Snoot!
:'''Reindeer #3''': Rainbow-Puss!
:'''Reindeer #4''': Red-Schnoz!
:'''Rudolph''': ''[offended]'' Stop calling me names!
:'''Reindeer #5''': Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!
:'''Santa''': Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself! What a pity. He had a nice takeoff, too.
:'''Comet''': ''[blows his whistle]'' Alright! Alright, now, yearlings! Back to practice! ''[to Rudolph who tries to join]'' Oh, no! Not you. You'd better go home with your folks. From now on, gang, we won't let Rudolph join in ''any'' reindeer games, right?
:'''Reindeer''': Right!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rudolph''': Hey! We're all misfits, too! Maybe we could stay here for a little while.
:'''Charlie''': Well, you'd have to get permission from King Moonracer.
:'''Rudolph''': Who's he?
:'''Charlie''': ''[pointing to the castle on the rocks]'' He rules here. Every night, he searches the entire earth. When he finds a misfit toy, 1 that no little boy or girl loves, he brings it here to live on this island till someone wants it. He's holding court in his castle right now.
:''[the trio arrives at the castle]''
:'''King Moonracer''': Come closer. What d'you desire?
:'''Rudolph''': Well, we're a couple of misfits from Christmastown and we'd like to live here.
:'''Moonracer''': No, that would not be possible because this island is for toys alone.
:'''Yukon Cornelius''': How d'you like that? Even among misfits, you're a misfit.
:'''Moonracer''': Unlike playthings, a living creature cannot hide himself on an island. But perhaps, being misfits yourselves, you just might help the toys.
:'''Rudolph''': Help them?
:'''Moonracer''': Yes. When someday, you return to Christmastown, would you tell Santa about our homeless toys? I'm sure he would find little boys and girls who would be happy with them. A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.
:'''Rudolph''':  When and if we get back, we'll tell Santa, sir.
:'''Moonracer''': Good. You are free to spend the night. ''[claps his front paws twice]'' Footmen, show our friends to their chambers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santa''': Quiet, everyone! Please! Quiet! Quiet. Shh. I've got some bad news, folks. Christmas is going to be cancelled. There's nothing I can do because of this weather-- ''[Rudolph's nose shines in his face]'' Rudolph. Rudolph, please! Could you tone it down a bit? I mean, that nose of yours. That.... That.... nose! That beautiful, wonderful nose!
:'''Rudolph''': Huh?
:'''Santa''': Rudolph, Christmas is not off and.... you're going to lead my team tonight!
:'''Rudolph''': I am?
:'''Santa''': Yes, sir. You and that wonderful nose of yours!
:'''Rudolph''': My nose, sir?
:'''Santa''': Ho-ho-ho! From what I see, now, that'll cut through the murkiest storm that they can dish up. What I'm trying to say is.... Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
:'''Rudolph''': It will be an honor, sir. 
:’’’Donner’’’: I knew that nose would be useful someday. I knew it all along!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Billie Mae Richards|Billie Mae Richards]] - Rudolph
* Stan Francis - Santa Claus
* [[w:Paul Kligman|Paul Kligman]] - Donner, Coach Comet, and Clarice's unnamed father
* [[w:Burl Ives|Burl Ives]] - Sam the Snowman
* [[w:Paul Soles|Paul Soles]] - Hermey
* Janis Orenstein - Clarice 
* [[w:Larry D. Mann|Larry D. Mann]] - Yukon Cornelius
* [[w:Peg Dixon|Peg Dixon]] - Mrs. Claus.
* [[w:Carl Banas|Carl Banas]] - the Head Elf
* Stan Francis - King Moonracer
* Alfie Scopp - Charlie-In-The-Box
* Carl Banas - the Spotted Elephant
* Corinne Conley - Dolly

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
* {{IMDb title|id=0058536|title=Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer}}

[[Category:1964 films]]
[[Category:Animated Christmas TV specials]]</text>
      <sha1>7dtt875prsg7r56p5187ijdq9fl96z6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Open Season: Scared Silly</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>193910</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154727</id>
      <parentid>3152705</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T22:48:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2603:800C:2A40:EC00:C84E:2140:70F5:4A29</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21314" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Open Season: Scared Silly|Open Season: Scared Silly]]''''' (also known as '''''Open Season 4''''' or '''''Open Season 4: Scared Silly''''') is a 2016 American-Canadian [[w:Computer animation|computer-animated]] [[w:Buddy film|buddy]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy]] direct-to-video film. It is the fourth installment in the [[w:Open Season (franchise)|''Open Season'' film series]]. Produced by [[w:Sony Pictures Animation|Sony Pictures Animation]], it was animated by [[w:Rainmaker Entertainment|Rainmaker Entertainment]].

The film was directed by David Feiss and produced by John Bush with music by Rupert Gregson-Williams and Dominic Lewis.

{{center|'''Elliot is on an adventure to take the Boo out of Boog!'''&lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Boog==
* Uh, actually, I find his story quite convincin'.
* Keep it together, Boog. Come on, go to your happy place.
* ''[to Beth]'' Oh, Beth! I'm so glad to see ya! I knew you'd never [[Open Season|dump me off in the woods]]!
* No one touches my Dinkleman!
* ''[After Elliot suggests taking a different route]'' Through Dead Bear Gulch?!
* The Boog I know is gonna build his panic room. ''[Boog turns his back on Giselle]'' See ya, Giselle.
* Movies! Two words! Um, ooh-ooh! ''[[Lethal Weapon 2]]''.
* ''[to Elliot]'' Where are you goin' with this, Elliot?
* ''[during the chase in a lava mine]'' Who puts a loop-de-loop in a lava mine?
* I'm a grizzly bear!
* Because friends don't abandon friends. You taught me that.
* I had this nightmare about Beth. She was a wolf with 10 claws!

==Elliot==
* Let's take a short intermission.
* Okay. We got rid of our dead weight. Still with me, Boog? You know I can't do this without my BFF. That's Bear Friend Forever, FYI. For your information. LOL.
* Code Brown. Code Brown
* Boog, I'll write you every single day!
* I want to tell you something boog. I thought that maybe the wampy werewolf was just in your imagination, so I just struggled to overcome your fear.

==Giselle==
* [[The Sound of Music (film)|I'm just a doe. A deer. A female deer]].
* Don't strain yourself.
* So you're saying the werewolf cleaned the dishes?
* ''[sees pictures of Bobbie and Bob]'' It's spotless. No signs of a struggle.
* Guys, how about we use the door?

==Mr. Weenie==
* While Shaw did not specifically mention coming after Mr. Weenie... I stand with you. I've got nowhere else to go! ''[starts crying and stops]'' Hey, Wait up for Mr. Weenie!
* This rope is good! Although, it could use some salt.
* Welcome to the scene of the crime.
* ''[during a plane crash]'' Since it appears this is the end, I feel it's only right to confess. I'm not really German, I am Swiss!
* ''[after he heard what Boog have said]'' So I am the werewolf? I'm always the last to hear about these things. ''[gasps]'' So that would mean I ate Bobbie! And Bob. I must leave this place before I eat my friends too. I mean, think of all the calories! ''[he leaves]''
* ''[to the audience]'' And so everybody ''did'' live happily ever after, including Mr. Weenie. The End. ''[he close his doggy door and went back inside]''

==Shaw==
* Come on, tree huggers! That tree is not part of the tour.
* Take a gander, boys and girls. We've arrived at Dead Bear Gulch.
* The Wailing Wampus Werewolf. It's real. It's real.
* ''[to Gordy]'' The werewolf wants to destroy you, ''[Elliot gets hit by a wall]'' your family, ''[Elliot gets spin by the fan]'' your way of life.
* [[w:The Blues Brothers (film)|We're getting the band back together]].
* ''[while the hornetss sting him]'' I'm allergic to hornets!

==Sheriff Gordy==
* Okay, Okay! The meeting is called to order. Marcia, you have an announcement?
* ''[to Shaw]'' I don't see anything conclusive here, Shaw.
* ''[to Shaw]'' Shaw, only the werewolves. You're not supposed to be allowed to touch anything else in that forest.
* ''[to the cops]'' Well, looks like we've found our werewolf. Shaw, I should have known.
* ''[to Shaw]'' You'll have plenty to say at your trial for posing as a monster and creating a general panic. Open Season is closed. Permanently.
* ''[to Boog]'' Technically, I shouldn't be feeding the wild life, But I think we can make an exception. ''[he gives Boog some chocolate bars]'' Take care of yourself, Boog.

==Others==
* '''McSquizzly''': Moose pucky!
* '''Buddy''': ''[he sees a ladybug]'' Something.
* '''Ian''': If you ask me, I saw this coming a long time ago. I knew that bear couldn't hack it out there. He's more an em-bear-assment. ''[to the Rabbits]'' Get it? Em-bear-assment. Ha, Ha!
* '''Reilly''': ''[from trailer]'' Hey, what did I miss?
* '''Ed''': What does a werewolf need a backpack for?
** '''Edna''': To keep his pilot license in.

==Dialogue==
:''[from trailer]''
:'''Elliot''': It was a dark and stormy night, I stood face to face with the Rabid Beast.
:''[Boog screams, throws the rabbits and run away]''
:'''Elliot''': Let's take a short intermission.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Elliot''': Maria, you're afraid you're never gonna find someone… that you'll end up a spinster living with 2 pet bobcats.
:'''Maria''': Actually, I wasn't afraid of that… until now.
:''[Elliot went to Mr. Weenie]''
:'''Elliot''': Mr. Weenie. ''[holds up a hot dog bun]'' You're afraid of hot dog buns.
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Yeah! And pickle relish and mustard!
:''[Elliot went to Serge and Deni]''
:'''Elliot''': Serge. ''[holds duct tape]'' You're afraid of duct tape. ''[shows Reilly a splinter]'' Reilly, you're afraid of splinters. ''[Elliot went to Buddy]'' And Buddy. ''[blows up a balloon and makes a giraffe balloon]'' Balloons scare the quills off of you.
:'''Buddy''': ''[gasps]'' Balloons.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[In Boog's nightmare, Boog wakes up and notices his water dish and food dish that says his name on it. Then he sees Beth]''
:'''Boog''': Beth! Dinkleman! We're home! It was all just a real long bad dream! ''[to Beth]'' Oh, Beth, I'm so glad to see you! I knew you would never [[Open Season|dump me in the woods]]! ''[no reply from Beth. Boog starts to feel uneasy]'' Beth?
:''[&quot;Beth&quot; turns around to reveal that it's not Beth at all; it's the Wailing Wampus Werewolf! Boog screams in terror, then sits bolt upright once he wakes up]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[from trailer]''
:'''Boog''': Well, that looks nice.
:''[The camera shows us the mountains]''
:'''Elliot''': Yeah, we're going over there.
:''[The camera moves to a different route. It's called &quot;Dead Bear Gulch&quot;]
:'''Boog''': Through Dead Bear Gulch?!
:''[Serge, Deni and Mr. Weenie hatch some eggs]''
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Ooh!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[from trailer]''
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Welcome to the scene of the crime. ''[turns off the light]'' Come on in.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Elliot''': Did the Romans quit when the Vikings landed at [[w:Plymouth Rock|Plymouth Rock]]? ''[Giselle and Ian look at each other]'' Did the Might [[w:Dodo|dodo bird]] give up when it went extinct? Did the [[Titanic (1997 film)|Titanic]] calls it quits when it hits the ice cream truck? ''[jumps off the tree stump]'' Nope, nope, and nope. Sure the werewolf had fangs, Shaw has guns. But you know the one thing we've got that nobody else had? Boog's Butt!
:'''Boog''': Where are you going with this, Elliot?
:'''Elliot''': It's an Amalgagee.
:'''Giselle''': [[w:Analogy|Analogy]].
:'''Elliot''': That too. Point is, When the chips are were down the odds were against us, The pilot had left the building...
:'''Serge''': We will never live this down.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Man''': Is it werewolf into pack for?
:'''Woman''': To keep of party like it sins.
:'''Boog''': No!
:'''Elliot''': Hey! Let go of my 2nd favorite bear!
:'''Boog''': Let go of my Dinkleman! Oh, no, Dinkleman, no! '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!''''' ''[drops the Dinkleman, gasps, then Dinkelman in lava to lost]'' DINKLEMAN!!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Boog throws the cart away and sits on an old cactus named Ol' Prickly]
:'''Boog''': ''[sighs]'' It figures. There's one cactus in all of Timberline and I land right on it.
:'''Elliot''': ''[off-screen]'' Boog, I'm okay! ''[on-screen when he and Giselle are on Ol' Comfy]'' We landed in this super cushiony pile of rose petals and clover! ''[Elliot and Giselle walks away from Ol' Comfy]'' Good thing we didn't land on old prickly. ''[Boog slides off Ol' Prickly]'' Wasn't that crazy? The dip where we went down and our stomachs went up! The lava singed my eye lashes!
:'''Boog''': Listen, Elliot. I've had enough! This is too dangerous! And now Dinkelman's gone. You don't know what he meant to me.
:'''Elliot''': ''[sadly]'' Yeah... ''[looks upset then smiles]'' But we're safe now.
:'''Boog''': Safe?! ''[he pulls off a cactus quill]'' (What do mean safe?!) We've never been safe! Crashing in airplanes, getting shot at by hunters, flying off the rails in a lava mine.
:'''Elliot''': We're so close to finding the werewolf. We can't give up now.
:'''Boog''': Now seems like the perfect time. ''[turns his back on Elliot]''
:'''Elliot''': Boog, I believe in you. When you want to be, you can be a super brave bear. The superest.
:'''Boog''': ''(You know what?)'' I've had enough! I'm done! I'm building that panic room by myself and hibernating forever.
:'''Elliot''': And then after that, can we go camping?
:'''Boog''': No, Elliot. My Dinkleman's gone.
:''[Elliot gasps then turns his back on Boog]''
:'''Elliot''': Fine. I take it back. You're not super! You're a pooper! I don't need you. All I need is one thing, or two things. Myself. Because myself never hurts my feelings like certain heavy-set bears.
:'''Boog''': That doesn't even make sense.
:'''Elliot''': Words can hurt, you know that, tubby?
:''[Giselle walks to Boog and Elliot]''
:'''Giselle''': Okay. Let's cool down for a second.
:'''Boog''': ''(Elliot,)'' I stood up for you because I thought you were my best friend. Maybe you're not. ''[Elliot gasps]'' You don't care about me. You only care about your stupid camping trip. What's a matter?
:'''Elliot''': ''[starts crying]'' It's not stupid.
:'''Boog''': Elliot, stop make it crying, okay. Go find yourself a new best friend who likes selfish deers.
:''[Boog walks away from Elliot and Giselle]''
:'''Elliot''': Oh... Well, you can forget about that stupid camping trip! I wouldn't go with you if you were the last best friend on earth!
:''[Elliot watches Boog walks into the forest]''
:'''Boog''': Elliot, calm down. It's alright.
:'''Elliot''': Fine. I'm calm.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[That night, Boog walks through the forest after he breaks up with Elliot]''
:'''Boog''': I never should've trusted Elliot. How could I have been so stupid?
:''[Giselle follows after Boog]'' 
:'''Giselle''': Boog. Wait!
:'''Boog''': I'm done with him!
:'''Giselle''': Elliot went about things the wrong way, but he was genuinely trying to help you get over your fear of the werewolf.
:'''Boog''': Because all he cared about was some dumb campin' trip.
:'''Giselle''': He wanted to spend time with his best friend.
:'''Boog''': He tied pumpkins to my chest! ''[tries to get the pumpkins out of his chest]''
:'''Giselle''': I'll be the first to admit - Elliot is a ding-a-ling, but he's our ding-a-ling.
:'''Boog''': Can you give me a hand? I don't know how you girls do this every day. 
:''[Giselle bites the rope from the pumpkin chests and they fall out of Boog]'' 
:'''Boog''': Elliot can take care of himself. ''[throws away the wig]'' That's what he's good at. ''[throws away the hand bracelets]''
:'''Giselle''': Elliot is headed into Dead Bear Gulch. He's convinced the werewolf will be hiding there tonight.
:'''Boog''': Thanks for the tip. ''[pulls one of the pine needle eyelashes]'' Pine needle eyelashes. ''[takes the pine needle eyelashes off and he blinks]'' I'll be sure to stay far away from Dead Bear Gulch.
:'''Giselle''': Boog, he cares about you. ''[Boog takes off a huge leaf]'' And you care about him. The Boog I know wouldn't abandon his friend.
:'''Boog''': The Boog I know is gonna build his panic room. ''[turns his back on Giselle]'' See ya, Giselle.
:''[Giselle blinks her eyes as Boog walks away]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[A refection of Boog is shown as Boog walks along the path]''
:'''Ian''': ''[off-screen]'' Hey, Booger. ''[on-screen when he and the others are inside the panic room]'' You hear that? I called him &quot;Booger&quot;.
:'''Boog''': What are you guys doing?
:'''Reilly''': We took your advice and built a panic room, (Just like you wished for).
:'''Boog''': Not bad. You got room for one more?
:'''Reilly''': Come on in.
:'''Ian''': Wipe your feet.
:'''Maria''': Take a load off.
:'''Ian''': Just close the door behind you. ''[Boog closes the door]'' So where's your best friend Idiot? ''[to the animals]'' You notice how I called Elliot &quot;Idiot&quot;?
:'''Boog''': ''[scoffs]'' The great werewolf hunter is in Dead Bear Gulch probably talkin' the ear off of some poor werewolf. 
:''[Suddenly, Shaw's truck comes to a stop]'' 
:'''Boog''': ''[gasps]'' Shh.
:'''Shaw''': That's where it all began, in Dead Bear Gulch. That's where we'll find our werewolf.
:'''Edna''': But that gulch is haunted, don't you know.
:'''Ed''': Yeah! With evil spirits.
:''[Boog and Ian looks at the refection of Shaw, Ed and Edna]''
:'''Shaw''': Which is why the werewolf will be hidin' out there. We've got it on the run. It's gonna hunker down in the one place it thinks we won't go.
:'''Ed''': And where is that?
:'''Shaw''': Dead Bear Gulch!
:'''Ed''': Oh, right.
:'''Shaw''': I got special camo for us in the truck. We'll take him by surprise!
:'''Ed''': Take who by surprise?
:'''Shaw''': The werewolf!
:'''Edna''': Ooh! I love surprises!
:'''Shaw''': Instead of Dead Bear Gulch, they're gonna have to call it... Dead Everything Gulch by the time we're through. ''[uses Lorraine]'' We'll blast everything that moves.
:'''Ed''': You mean like us?
:'''Edna''': How can we hunt if we can't move?
:'''Shaw''': ''[groans]'' I won't blast you!
:'''Ed''': But we'll be moving!
:'''Edna''': Yeah! You said that...
:'''Shaw''': Forget what I said! ''[groans]'' Canadians.
:''[Shaw, Ed, and Edna went back to the truck off-screen]''
:'''Reilly''': Elliot's in trouble!
:'''Rosie''': What are we gonna do, Boog?
:'''Reilly''': Maybe we should go help him.
:''[Boog looks worried when his friend's in trouble]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Ed and Edna tries to kill Boog and Elliot, Shadow puppet ducks appear]''
:'''Ed''': The evil spirits! They're here! ''[The shadow ducks begin to move]'' Undead zombie ghost ducks from hunting seasons past!
:''[Ed runs away]''
:'''Elliot''': What?
:'''Boog''': I brought some friends.
:''[Serge and Deni are making shadow puppets]''
:'''Serge''': We should consider taking our talents on the road, eh, Deni?
:''[They made a shadow puppet hand who made a thumbs up]''
:'''Edna''': Where are you going? I don't see any evil...
:''[Edna sees the skunks becomes a dancing skeleton]''
:'''Edna''': Wait for me!
:'''Rosie''': Aye! Shake it, sister!
:''[The skunks as a skeleton begin to shake. Ed and Edna runs away]''
:'''Shaw''': Fine. Abandon me. I got Lorraine. She's all I need.
:''[Mr. Weenie is in the werewolf mask]''
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Face the wrath of a true werewolf!
:''[Mr. Weenie looses the werewolf mask. Shaw caught him but Boog attacks him and bends Lorraine, destroying it]''
:'''Shaw''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''MY LORRAINE!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; Now you've gone too far! ''[wrestles Boog]'' It's just you and me, bear. Mano a bear-o. ''[punches Boog with his fists. Boog shakes his head]'' Your shoe's untied! ''[hits Boog's nose and Boog feels his nose]'' Come on, teddy bear! Free shot! ''[Boog growls and he tries to punch Shaw]'' Too fast for you! ''[hits Boog]'' Guess who? ''[hits Boog's head]''
:'''Elliot''': Ooh!
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Ooh!
:'''Shaw''': Come on, scaredy bear!
:''[Boog growls and Shaw blows a raspberry at him. He waddles Boog mouths and punches him]''
:'''Elliot and Mr. Weenie''': Ooh!
:''[As Shaw laughs at Boog, Boog growls at Shaw and punches him and Shaw bumps into a tree.]''
:'''Boog''': Ha-ha-ha! Oh!
:'''Shaw''': Crud. ''[Boog throws a hornet's nest and the hornets sting Shaw]''
:'''Ian''': That's gonna smart for a few days.
:'''Shaw''': I'm allergic to hornets!
:''[Shaw pulls the hornet's nest and sting spots are on his cheeks]''
:'''Elliot''': Washcloth?
:''[Shaw rubs his face with Buddy and got porcupine spines]''
:'''Buddy''': Buddy.
:''[Boog, Elliot and the animals watches Shaw runs away from Dead Bear Gulch in defeat]''
:'''Elliot''': Why did you come back for me?
:'''Boog''': Because friends don't abandon friends. You taught me that.
:'''Elliot''': ''[as he wipes his eyes]'' My eyes are starting to pee.
:''[Shaw runs along the path, But the bullet hits him making him fainting]''
:'''Officer''': ''[whistles]'' Nice shooting, sheriff.
:''[Gordy and the officers found Shaw in the werewolf costume]''
:'''Sheriff Gordy''': Well, looks like we've found our werewolf. Shaw, I should have known.
:'''Officer''': I guess he's in deep doodoo.
:'''Sheriff Gordy''': Sure is.
:'''Officer''': Selfie! ''[takes a picture with his phone]'' And post.
:''[Later the officers take Shaw to the police car with Ed and Edna who are already been defeated]''
:'''Shaw''': ''[weakly]'' Bears.
:'''Sheriff Gordy''': Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll have plenty to say at your trial for posing as a monster and creating a general panic. Open season is closed. Permanently. ''[Boog and the others cheer. Gordy close the back door of the police car]''  Take them away, boys. ''[The police car drive away and Gordy sees the tree rustles]'' Boog? ''[Boog comes out of the tree. He walks to Gordy]'' Thought I recognized your work. ''[Boog smiles]'' You know, you're always welcome to come back home. 
:''[Boog's frown is upside down. He turns his back on Elliot]''
:'''Elliot''': He's going back to live in town.
:''[Boog turns back to Gordy]''
:'''Sheriff Gordy''': I understand. You are home. ''[Boog smiles]''  Technically, I shouldn't be feeding the wild life, But I think we can make an exception. ''[gives Boog some chocolate bars]'' Take care of yourself, Boog. ''[walks away]''
:'''Elliot''': Eee!
:'''Boog''': ''[holding chocolate bars]'' Woo-Hoo!
:'''Elliot''': I knew you wouldn't go back to live in town.
:'''Boog''': Of course not! Who's gonna protect you, Elliot? You can't go campin' by yourself!
:'''Elliot''': ''[gasps]'' I got something for you. I was waiting to surprise you. ''[takes Dinkelman out of his back]'' Surprise! Happy Mother's Day!
:'''Boog''': ''[gasps]'' Dinkelman! (You're okay!) ''[hugs Dinkleman]'' Hey, how long you had him?
:'''Elliot''': It's a See-cret.
:''[They both begin to laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[while Elliot dances with the Wailing Wampus Werewolf]''
:'''Elliot''': See? I told you. The werewolf communicates through interpretive dance.
:'''Wailing Wampus Werewolf''': Yeah, interpretive dance and talking. I can talk. Heh, heh, heh.
:'''Elliot''': I think he means us no harm.
:'''Wailing Wampus Werewolf''': Whatever.
:'''Elliot''': We need to show him we don't either. Everybody, dance now. ''[Boog starts dancing]'' Shake that tail feather!
:''[Giselle, Ian, Mr. Weenie and the animals start dancing too and the fireflies came out of their tree creating a disco ball. Boog and Elliot dance together]''
:'''Buddy''': Bud... Bud...
:'''McSquizzy''': Ow!
:''[Roise, Deni, Elliot and bug monster dance too]''
:'''Ian''': Busting a move.
:''[Boog dances with the Wailing Wampus Werewolf]''
:'''Elliot''': Ooh. Impressive moves, Boog. [[Dances with Wolves|We should call you Dances with Werewolves]].
:''[He and Boog starts laughing]''
:'''Mr. Weenie''': Boog, I have something shocking to tell you. I might not be the werewolf.
:'''Boog''': Got it, Mr. Weenie.
:''[The Wailing Wampus Werewolf howls at the moon as everybody keeps dancing]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Wailing Wampus Werewolf''': Just one more time.
:'''Boog''': No!
:''[The scene cuts to black]''

==Taglines==
* Elliot is on an adventure to take the Boo out of Boog!
* Bloopers, Outtakes, And More!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Donny Lucas|Donny Lucas]] as Boog
* [[w:Will Townsend|Will Townsend]] as Elliot / Mr. Weenie / Additional Voices
* [[w:Melissa Sturm|Melissa Sturm]] as Giselle / Additional Voices
* [[w:Brian Drummond|Brian Drummond]] as Ian / Reilly / Tree-Hugger Man / Additional Voices	
* [[w:Lee Tockar|Lee Tockar]] as Buddy / McSquizzy / Additional Voices
* [[w:Peter Kelamis|Peter Kelamis]] as Serge
* [[w:Trevor Devall|Trevor Devall]] as Shaw / Werewolf / Additional Voices
* [[w:Lorne Cardinal|Lorne Cardinal]] as Gordy
* [[w:Garry Chalk|Garry Chalk]] as Ed
* [[w:Kathleen Barr|Kathleen Barr]] as Bobbie / Edna / Tree-Hugger Lady
* [[w:Shannon Chan-Kent|Shannon Chan-Kent]] as Rosie / Marcia
* [[w:Michelle Murdocca|Michelle Murdocca]] as Maria
* [[Frank Welker]] as Animals' vocal effects
* [[w:Maddie Taylor|Matthew W. Taylor]] as Additional Voices

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2016 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:Canadian animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Open Season]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]]
[[Category:Werewolf films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Leviathan (1989 film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>195313</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154746</id>
      <parentid>2536297</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T00:25:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MinnesotanConfederacy</username>
        <id>31403</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Steven Beck */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4986" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Leviathan (1989 film)|Leviathan]]''''' is a [[w:1989 in film|1989 film]] about a deep-sea mining colony that discovers a sunken Soviet vessel full of monsters.
:''Directed by [[w:George P. Cosmatos|George P. Cosmatos]]. Written by [[w:David Peoples|David Peoples]].''
{{center|'''How long can you hold your breath?'''&amp;nbsp; &lt;small&gt;([[#Taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

== Steven Beck ==
* And Sixpack, if you call me Becky one more time I'm going to pop your tops, all six of them.
* ''[about to throw a stick of dynamite at the creature]'' Say 'ahhhhh', motherfucker!

== Justin Jones ==
* This whole thing is unnecessary, Doc. The only skin problem I can see is white people. How come you are wearing those gloves? It ain't bend-over time, is it?
* And another thing. I am getting tired of hearing about your goddamn skiing. You don't know shit about skiing. They don't ski in Spanish Harlem.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Martin''': I realize you must have gone through hell.
:'''Justin Jones''': Gone? Bitch, we're still here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sixpack''': You know, I stood next to a guy who blew up his suit once. I'll tell you, that was not a pretty sight.
:'''Justin Jones''': Leave DeJesus alone, man!
:'''Sixpack''': One tiny little hole in a fucking toe of his suit, man. No bigger than your dick. Yeah, the way the ocean came in, the pressure just crammed his whole body up into his helmet in a matter of seconds. We just buried his helmet. That would have been you, DeJesus.
:'''DeJesus''': Hey, I know about implosions.
:'''Sixpack''': Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you were imploding in your pants.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sixpack''': ''[shaking a dead sea spider at Willie]'' Look at my foot! This bitch put a goddamn sea monster in my bunk!
:'''Steven Beck''': How do you know it was her?
:'''Sixpack''': It was her, goddammit! What, are you calling me a liar, Beck?
:'''Steven Beck''': That may be the size of it, bubba.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sixpack''': Oh, mama! What a pair.
:'''Bridget Bowman''': What'd you say?
:'''Sixpack''': I said, &quot;What a pair.&quot; Our shack boss and his washed-up doctor buddy make quite a... What did you think I said?
:'''Bridget Bowman''': That you liked my boobs.
:'''Sixpack''': Ha.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': It's growing. It's just had a meal.
:'''Elizabeth 'Willie' Williams''': It needs blood?
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': Apparently.
:'''Justin Jones''': That's just great! You're telling me that we've got a goddamned Dracula in here with us?
:'''Steven Beck''': Of course. That's why the one on that ship was dead. It needed blood... fresh cells to resurrect itself and grow.
:'''Elizabeth 'Willie' Williams''': What &quot;one on that ship&quot;?
:'''Justin Jones''': Will someone let the rank and file in on your little secret?
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': Whatever it is... it's apparently some kind of genetic aberration.
:'''Justin Jones''': No shit!
:'''G. P. Cobb''': What are you saying, Doc?
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': It has all the characteristics of deep sea life. Scales, gills... regeneration. Even some kind of dormancy. But the fact that it remembered where that blood plasma was stored makes it appear to have some other kind of quality.
:'''G. P. Cobb''': Meaning what?
:'''Steven Beck''': It absorbs the intelligence of its victims.
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': Intelligence may not be the right word here.
:'''Justin Jones''': To hell with semantics, Doc. Are you saying that thing out there is part DeJesus, part Bowman, part Sixpack?
:'''Dr. Glen Thompson''': I don't know. I'd just be guessing. But I do know this... the Russians deliberately sank that ship to protect themselves. Maybe to protect us all.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven Beck''': ''[as he fights Leviathan]'' See you topside.
:'''Elizabeth 'Willie' Williams''': Get into your suit... Beck, get into your suit!
:'''Justin Jones''': [Beck jettisons them out of the complex]'' Beck, don't be a fool!

== Taglines ==
* How long can you hold your breath?
* Welcome to your worst nightmare

== Cast ==
* [[w:Peter Weller|Peter Weller]] — Steven Beck
* [[w:Richard Crenna|Richard Crenna]] — Dr. Glen 'Doc' Thompson
* [[w:Amanda Pays|Amanda Pays]] — Elizabeth 'Willie' Williams
* [[w:Daniel Stern (actor)|Daniel Stern]] — Buzz 'Sixpack' Parrish
* [[w:Ernie Hudson|Ernie Hudson]] — Justin Jones
* [[w:Michael Carmine|Michael Carmine]] — Tony 'DeJesus' Rodero
* [[w:Lisa Eilbacher|Lisa Eilbacher]] — Bridget 'Bow' Bowman
* [[w:Hector Elizondo|Hector Elizondo]] — G. P. Cobb
* [[w:Meg Foster|Meg Foster]] — Martin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0097737|title=Leviathan}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=leviathan|title=Leviathan}}
* {{amg movie|id=29129|title=Leviathan}}

[[Category:1989 films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Adventure films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Monster films]]
[[Category:Natural horror films]]
[[Category:Science fiction horror films]]
[[Category:Thriller films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe (season 2)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>195793</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154593</id>
      <parentid>3153222</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T15:56:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Log Date 7 15 2 */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="80332" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the second season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

=== ''Full Disclosure'' ===
:'''Greg''': I saw the spaceship starting to leave and then it crashed and I came back and— ''[sees Steven's black eye]'' Ugh, your eye... But you're okay! I guess those jerks were no match for the Crystal Gems!
:'''Steven''': No way! They were super strong!
:'''Greg''': But you were able to beat them back?
:'''Steven''': No, they totally stomped us! This warrior Jasper was super beefy and knocked me unconscious. Then they abducted me onto the ship because they wanted to take me away forever, and then we crashed the ship and I almost died! ''[Greg freaks out]''
:'''Greg''': W-What do they want with you?!
:'''Steven''': They think I'm Mom.
:'''Greg''': Ar-are more Homeworld Gems gonna come after you?!
:'''Steven''': I— uhh... I don't know. Maybe?
:'''Greg''': Steven, I'm supportive and very proud of you... and I'll be right back. ''[runs into his van]'' Gotta calm down. Where's my— ''[brings a series of CDs up front]'' Where's my relaxing music CD?! This one? ''[inserts CD; starts blaring loud metal music]'' Wrong one!! Stop!! Eject!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ronaldo''': Oh! I see... You come up here to brood too!
:'''Steven''': Brood?
:'''Ronaldo''': Yes, Steven. That's just what people like us do. Suffer quietly, shouldering the knowledge no one else can bear.
:'''Steven''': Hm.
:'''Ronaldo''': As an aficionado of the weird yourself, you've probably noticed ordinary people fear the cold leaded anchor of the truth. The abyss is no Sunday swan ride.
:'''Steven''': I know! My dad flipped out when I told him!
:'''Ronaldo''': Sounds typical. But it's a good reminder. This is no easy path we've chosen here. There are... sacrifices. Look at them all down there, Steven. It's our duty to let those simple people live out their simple lives, without ever knowing the burden of being friends with us.
:'''Steven''': At least we can be there for each other.
:'''Ronaldo''': Is that giant hand from the sky sitting right in the middle of the beach?! I gotta get some of this for my blog!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Aw, come on!
:'''Garnet''': No whining. We need to start cleaning up the debris.
:'''Pearl''': Garnet's right. People are already coming back into town!
:'''Steven''': We've got to keep them off the beach. If any humans got access to Gem technology, ''[shuts blinds]'' they could really hurt themselves. Maybe we should shut them out... for good.
:'''Pearl''': You know... we did once have a fence. Let's get a new one—with barbed wire! 
:'''Amethyst''': This time, let's build a moat. I could be... ''[shapeshifts her head]'' the crocodi-i-ile!! Jazz hands!
:'''Garnet''': No.
:'''Amethyst''': Why not?
:'''Pearl''': You always say you'll be the crocodile, but you never commit!
:'''Garnet''': No fence either.
:'''Amethyst/Pearl''': Garnet!
:'''Garnet''': Steven needs to see his father and his friends.
:'''Steven''': No, I don't! I can't keep clinging to the vestiges of my humanity. It's time I got serious. ''[his phone starts ring-toning again]'' Errh!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, why is your communication device playing that song?
:'''Steven''': It's Connie, trying to call me... but I can't face her anymore.
:'''Pearl''': So... you're just going to ignore her forever?
:'''Steven''': It's the responsible thing to do.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sees thru blinds]'' It's gonna be hard, 'cause she's coming up the steps right now.
:'''Steven''': What?!

=== ''Open Book'' ===

=== ''Joy Ride'' ===
:'''Steven''': Family stuff is tricky. 
:'''Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny''': Mmhm.
:'''Steven''': A few months back, my dad and the Gems grounded me from TV.
:'''Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny''': That's the worst. / Bummer. / No way!
:'''Steven''': And then I found out that the Gems are alien rebels and that there are other Gems out in space that want us dead 'cause they think we're traitors. And they tried to take me hostage 'cause they think I'm my mom. And... maybe I kinda am? ''[sighs]'' I wish I could talk to Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl about it, but... I think they kinda blame me for my mom not being around.
:''[Buck, Sour Cream and Jenny are in a state of shock for a beat. Jenny turns off the radio]''
:'''Jenny''': That's heavy.
:'''Steven''': I guess.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Steven... you're ungrounded from TV.

=== ''[[w:Say Uncle (Steven Universe)|Say Uncle]]'' ===
:'''Steven''': What am I doing wrong? The Gems can all summon ''their'' weapons, why can't I? ''[desperately]'' Isn't there somebody who can help me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Oh my gosh! Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean… I literally can't believe it. How is this even possible?!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Don't worry, bro. None of this is canon. ''[pulls a real cannon out of Belly Bag]'' But this is! ''[launches his head like a cannonball with smoke trails spelling &quot;APRIL FOOLS&quot; and crashes into a ship with Lars and Sadie on it]''
:'''Lars''': Oh, no!! Our ship!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': What's going on?! Who is this stranger?
:'''Steven''': He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Grandpa!
:''[Uncle Grandpa honks his nose]''
:'''Amethyst''': &quot;Uncle… Grandpa&quot;?
:'''Pearl''': So that would make him Greg's brother… ''and'' father?
:'''Garnet''': That would explain a lot.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Pizza Steve''': Oh hey, it's just me, Pizza Steve—just the coolest and tastiest Steve who ever lived.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Pizza Steve! I'm a Steve too! Steven Universe.
:'''Pizza Steve''': ''Stee''-ven Universe... ''[pops out on top of Steven's hair]'' Come on, Uncle G. I've got two rules—no more than 40 or 50 vans, and only '''ONE''' Steve allowed!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Yeah, but this Steven is special.
:'''Mr. Gus''': Yeah. He's a Crystal Gem.
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Good mornin', Mr. Gus.
:'''Mr. Gus''': What's up, Uncle Grandpa?
:'''Steven''': Whoa, Mr. Gus! How do you know about me?
:'''Mr. Gus''': I have a comprehensive knowledge of all magical denizens of the multiverse. I know ''ALL'' about the Crystal Gems. Come on, man, check this out. I even made my own Gemsona. ''[shows art of &quot;Mr. Gusite&quot;]'' My gem is on my tail, and my weapon is a fryin' pan.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[The Gems run frantically across the plot hole many times, stop for a breather]''
:'''Garnet''': There's got to be some way out of here.
:'''Pearl''': ''[extremely panicked]'' WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! ''THIS'' IS OUR NEW ''HOME!!''
:'''Garnet''': Pearl, you're overreacting.
:'''Pearl''': &lt;big&gt;'''I'M NOT OVERREACTING!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Pearl runs around screaming until she crashes into Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, where's Steven? ''[Pizza Steve walks in dressed like Steven]'' 
:'''Pizza Steve''': Lookin' for me, Pizza Steven Universe?  ''[Pearl gasps, cowers behind Garnet]''
:'''Pearl''': That's not my baby!
:'''Amethyst''': Ah, nice! ''[eyes on Pizza Steve]''
:'''Pizza Steve''': Whoa, hold on!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Pizzaaaaaa!!'' ''[chases Pizza Steve offscreen]''
:'''Pizza Steve''': Don't eat Pizza Steve! ''[munching noises]''
:''[Amethyst walks back on, putting on Pizza Steve's sunglasses from out of her mouth]''
:'''Garnet''': Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end.
:''[She stomps, causing the plot hole to crack and shatter, leaving them back at the beach]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[after finally summoning his shield; to Uncle Grandpa]'' I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Yay.
:'''Pearl''': Protecting HIM activated Steven's powers?!
:'''Garnet''': He must really care about this stranger.
:'''Amethyst''': I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
:'''Steven''': Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've never met anyone like Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. You have to stick up for them, and listen to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.
:'''Pearl''': ''[blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry]'' Steven, you're right. ''[cries]'' HOW CAN I BE SO BLIND?! I'M SORRY!
:'''Amethyst''': I also apologize for Pearl.
:'''Garnet''': Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Boy, that sure makes my eyes hurt. Now let's see here... ''[grabs a checklist revealing several other Cartoon Network protagonists]'' Dexter, Dee-dee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper Lee, Swat Kats, Flapjack, Finn, Oh! Steven! ''[checks off Steven's name]'' Now who's next? ''[Clarence's name is shown at the bottom of the list]''

=== ''Story for Steven'' ===
=== ''Shirt Club '' ===
:''[Steven rushes to the Beach House]''
:'''Steven''': Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': What is it?!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, where's the fire?
:'''Steven''': It's an emergency! You have to help me take down all the shirts and stop Buck from making more! 
:'''Pearl''': Have the shirts come to life and and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
:'''Steven''': Uh, no! They just—
:'''Amethyst''': Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
:'''Steven''': No! No, they're just—
:'''Pearl''': Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City!?!
:'''Steven''': ''NOOOOO''!!! They're— they're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
:'''Pearl''': Oh. ''[all Gems sit down]''
:'''Garnet''': Ah, we'll pass.
:'''Steven''': What?! But— but I really need your help!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
:'''Amethyst''': It's not something we can ''punch''!
:'''Garnet''': You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. ''[shades sparkle]''
:'''Amethyst/Pearl''': Good point, good point. / Oh, absolutely.
:'''Steven''': But..!
:'''Amethyst''': You figure something ''out'', Steven!
:'''Pearl''': Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
:'''Garnet''': Let your problem be known, then you can work towards an understanding.
:'''Steven''': Oh... I'll make them understand. I'll make them all understand... ''[leaves]''
:'''Amethyst''': Eh, he'll be fine.

=== ''Love Letters'' ===
:''[Steven and Connie meet Jamie sitting on a log in the beach]''
:'''Steven''': Jamie!
:'''Jamie''': Oh, hey, Connie and Steven. You guys come out here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?
:'''Connie''': Uhh, no...? We came to, uh—
:'''Jamie''': Yeah, life is crazy. One day, you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know... you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. &quot;Follow your dreams,&quot; they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day... So much rejection day after day... That's why I came back. ''[two seagulls crash into each other and fall into the sea]'' One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. ''[sobs, chuckles]'' Sorry... sometimes I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, right... Drama zone.
:'''Connie''': Oh, by the way, we have something for yo—
:'''Steven''': No, we don't!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I didn't mean to upset you.
:'''Jamie''': Then will you go out with me?
:'''Garnet''': No!
:'''Jamie''': But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.
:'''Garnet''': Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea who or what I am. ''[shades glimmer]''
:'''Jamie''': But I bloom for you like— like a... camellia... under moonlight?
:'''Garnet''': No, you don't! ''[long beat]'' You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. ''[adjusts her shades]'' You even convinced yourself. ''[smiling]'' You're a fantastic actor.
:'''Jamie''': ''[beat]'' ..What am I supposed to do now?
:'''Garnet''': Start with local theater. ''[slaps Jamie's back, then walks away. Connie and Steven walk closer to him]''
:'''Connie''': Are you okay?
:'''Jamie''': Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.
:'''Steven''': Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?
:'''Jamie''': No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.
:'''Steven''': ''[beat]'' We'll help you pick it all up.
:'''Jamie''': Thanks.

=== ''Reformed'' ===
:'''Garnet''': This is not a good choice for your form.
:'''Amethyst''': Lighten up, Garnet. Can't you take a joke?
:'''Garnet''': It's not funny. You've made yourself ridiculous.
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''''RIDICULOUS?!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Keep your voice down! The creature...
:'''Amethyst''': Hrrr... You wanted me to be more like Pearl, and now I am!!
:'''Garnet''': ''[low voice]'' Pearl would've taken her regeneration seriously!
:'''Amethyst''': WHAT DO YOU CARE!?! MY FORM IS '''''MY'' BUSINESS!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's my business when it affects the strength of the team!!
:'''Amethyst''': ..So what?! I'm not strong enough?! ''[gets dragged by the Slinker]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst!
:'''Amethyst''': '''ARE YOU SAYING... &lt;big&gt;I'M ''WEAK''&lt;/big&gt;?!?!''' ''[poofs again; Steven catches her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Is it weird I'm getting numbed to this?

=== ''[[w:Sworn to the Sword|Sworn to the Sword]]'' ===
:'''Connie''': ''[fights off seagulls with her violin bow]'' Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Thanks for saving my jam snack. Unfortunately, it's not safe from me. ''[munches it]'' You're such a good sword fighter, Connie.
:'''Connie''': Really? I was just swinging this thing around. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'd love to learn how to use a real sword!
:'''Steven''': Oh! ''[gulps snack; starry eyes]'' Steven has an idea!
:''[back at the Beach House]''
:'''Pearl''': You want me to do ''what''?!
:'''Steven''': You should teach Connie to sword fight, she's already so good!
:'''Connie''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': But you are! Y-You helped me fight the robot floaty-thing, she took down that evil clone of herself, uh... those mean seagulls just now?
:'''Pearl''': You're awfully young to begin something like this. But I suppose I was only a few thousand years old when I began fighting alongside Rose Quartz. ''[Connie raises her hand]'' Yes, Connie?
:'''Connie''': Please! I want to learn! I mean, I don't know what'll happen in the future. But if something dangerous comes along... I don't wanna be a burden, I wanna help! I want to be there for Steven to fight by his side! The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it? ''[Pearl starts watering tears of joy]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh... okay... If that's how you feel... we should get started!
:'''Steven''': Woo-hoo! ''[runs after her laughing]''
:'''Connie''': Wait, now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''': All right, everything begins with your stance. Remember:
:''[singing] You do it for him, and you would do it again''
:''You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.''

:''Keep your stance wide, keep your body lowered''
:''As you're moving forward, balance is the key''
:''Right foot, left foot, now go even faster''
:''And as you're moving backwards, keep your eyes on me.''

:'''Connie''': ''Keep my stance wide'' (&quot;Good.&quot;)
:''Keep my body lowered'' (&quot;Right.&quot;)
:''As I'm moving forward''
:'''Pearl''': ''Concentrate! Don't you want him to live?!''

:'''Connie''': ''Right foot, left foot''
:'''Pearl''': ''Yes, but put your whole body into it!''
:''Everything you have, everything you are''
:''You've got to give.''

:''On the battlefield, when everything is chaos''
:''And you have nothing but the way you feel, your strategy and a sword''
:''You just think about the life you'll have together after the war''
:''And then you do it for her, that's how you know you can win''
:''You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.''
&lt;hr width=25%&gt;
:''Deep down, you know you weren't built for fighting''
:''But that doesn't mean you're not prepared to try''
:''What they don't know is your real advantage''
:''When you live for someone, you're prepared to die.''

:'''Connie''': ''Deep down, I know that I'm just a human'' (&quot;True.&quot;)
:'''Both''': ''But I/you know that I/you can draw my/your sword and fight''
:'''Connie''': ''With my short existence,'' (&quot;Good.&quot;) ''I can make a difference'' (&quot;Yes, excellent!&quot;)
:''I can be there for him, I can be his knight.''

:'''Connie''': ''I can do it for him''
:'''Both''': ''You'd do it for her''
:'''Pearl''': ''Okay, now do that again'' (&quot;Yes, ma'am.&quot;)
:''You do it for her, and now you say''
:'''Connie''': ''I'll do it for him.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': ''[belly laughs]'' Wow, Garnet! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!
:'''Garnet''': Garnet, master of comedy.
:'''Amethyst''': Hehehe... Yo, Steven. ''[pretend-yells]'' '''WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE ALL SAD LIKE THAT?!?!'''
:'''Steven''': W-well... Connie is taking sword fighting lessons from Pearl, but I think it's getting a little too serious. She wants Connie to do all this dangerous stuff for me.
:'''Garnet''': That makes sense.
:'''Steven''': What do you mean?
:'''Garnet''': Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything — over logic, over consequence, over her own life.
:''[Pearl and Rose switch to Connie and Steven, respectively. She charges at the enemy before cutting to Steven's horrified face]''
:'''Amethyst''': You okay, dude?
:'''Steven''': I have to do something!! Thanks for telling me that, bye!!

=== ''Rising Tides, Crashing Skies'' ===
:'''RonaIdo''': I am now going to attempt to make contact with the mysterious, reclusive, ''[Steven comes out]'' and—ahh!
:'''Steven''': Hi, Ronaldo! Uh, hi, Peedee. Is that a camera? 
:'''Peedee''': Yeah. We're making a movie about— 
:'''RonaIdo''': It's an investigative report, shot ''[[w:cinéma vérité|camera vérité]]''.
:'''Steven''': Cool! 
:'''RonaIdo''': So... you wanna participate in a groundbreaking interview? 
:'''Steven''': Hmm. Only if ''you'' participate in a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade! ''[walks back inside]''
:''[cue Ronaldo and Steven in the Beach House]''
:'''Steven''': Ohh, that giant hand? It was a spaceship coming to get us.
:'''RonaIdo''': Us?! I knew it! Steven, we know too much! 
:'''Steven''': No, not &quot;us&quot; us. I-I meant me and the Crystal Gems.
:'''RonaIdo''': Wait. So the hand wasn't here to snatch up humans for a human zoo? Or interfere with our subsidized Beach City wind farm?! Or thaw the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent!?! 
:'''Steven''': Uh... no, I'm pretty sure it came to Beach City for me and the Crystal Gems.
:'''RonaIdo''': Oh. So, if you and the Crystal Gems weren't here, we wouldn't have been attacked by the giant hand?
:'''Steven''': Ohh-hoh-hoh! Definitely not.

=== ''Keeping It Together'' ===
:'''Pearl''': Garnet, you don't think Peridot would come looking for us, do you?
:'''Garnet''': We weren't her priority. She was sent here to do something in the Kindergarten.
:'''Pearl''': Do you think she's still going to try to reactivate it?
:'''Garnet''': Mm. If she gets it back up and running, the Injectors will turn back on.
:'''Steven''': Injectors? What're those?
:'''Pearl''': You've already seen them. ''[projects hologram from her gemstone]'' Well, you've seen them disabled. If Peridot reactivates them, they'll pick right up where they left off, planting gems in the crust of the Earth, where they'll incubate and suck the life right out of the ground. We can't let Peridot restart Gem production here. If we do... ''[sighs]'' the entire planet will become…
:'''Garnet''': Janked.
:'''Amethyst''': Garnet! ''[laughs]'' That mouth! ''[sniggers]''
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry. We'll stop her.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': We did it! Garnet?
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': So ''this'' is what Homeworld thinks of fusion.
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': We couldn't have known they would do this.
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': ''This'' is where they've been…all the ones we couldn't find… they've been here the whole time!
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': Rose couldn't have known.
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': This is punishment for the rebellion!
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': ''[breaking down]'' It's not our fault!
:'''Steven''': Garnet!
:'''Garnet''': S-Steven.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sliding down with Pearl]'' Yo! We're back.
:'''Pearl''': Garnet, we lost Peridot. Her fingers were too fast for us. ''[two fused hands climb up on Amethyst and grabs them]'' Um… what are these things?
:'''Garnet''': PUT THEM DOWN!
:'''Steven''': Uh!
:'''Pearl''': Wha...? ''[throws the hands away]''
:'''Garnet''': We need to poof and bubble all of them. We can't let any escape. ''[She poofs the hands as the screen turns black]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What Homeworld did… taking the shattered parts of fallen Gems and combining them—those Gems weren't asked permission. Fusion is a choice. Those Gems weren't given a choice. It isn't right. It isn't fusion!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven looks at Garnet as he takes the clothes out the dryer into the basket]''
:'''Steven''': What's it like... being a fusion?
:'''Garnet''': You fused.
:'''Steven''': I mean, like, all the time. Do you forget who you used to be?
:'''Garnet''': You forget you were ever alone. You know when you fuse, you don't feel like two people. You feel like one being. And your old names might as well be names for your left arm, and your right.
:'''Steven''': When you split up, is it like you disappear?
:'''Garnet''': I embody my— I mean, Ruby and Sapphire's love. I always exist in them, even if I split apart. But the strength of that love keeps me together, so I can stay Garnet for a very long time.
:'''Steven''': That's why you're so great!
:'''Garnet''': ''[smiles]'' Ha. ''[Steven starts laughing, with a light blue colored sock being blown away]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no! ''[Garnet catches it]''
:'''Garnet''': Don't wanna break up a pair.
:'''Steven''': ''[holds peach colored sock]'' Yeah, you're right. ''[Garnet folds socks into basket]'' They belong together.

=== ''We Need to Talk'' ===
:''[Greg re-watches Pearl and Rose's fusion dance, practices and falls down]''
:'''Greg''': Ah, geez! How'd she get her legs to do that? ''[groans]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hey! ''[looks at face-to-face with Garnet]'' Are you dead?
:'''Greg''': Wha? Uh, no, no. I'm alive.
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, cool! ''[jumps over Greg, runs to the TV]'' It's us from before!
:'''Greg''': Yeah, I was just... trying to get my head around this fusion dance.
:'''Amethyst''': A fusion dance ain't about your head! ''[laughs out loud]''
:'''Greg''': Wait... you guys are Gems. You gotta help me out here. I need to be able to fuse with Rose!
:'''Garnet''': First, you need a gem at the core of your being. Then you need a body that can turn into light. Then you need the partner who you trust with that light.
:'''Greg''': Metaphorically?
:'''Garnet''': Literally.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[whispers]'' Shh! Come on! I still wanna see him try!
:'''Greg''': Ugh, so it's true. I really can't do it. ''[touches his face]'' I'm kidding myself with this! I'm never gonna be a Gem... ''[Garnet looks down and picks up a twig]''
:'''Garnet''': Amethyst... give us some privacy! ''[throws it far away]''
:'''Amethyst''': YEAH!! ''[scampers after it]''
:'''Garnet''': Let me tell you something, Mr. Universe. I think you can do it, but it won't work if you dance like Pearl. You have to dance like you. You have to fuse ''your'' way. Get open. Get honest. Invent yourselves together. ''[lowers her shades and winks left of her three eyes]'' That's fusion.
:'''Greg''': EYE—think I get it.

=== ''Chille Tid'' ===
:'''Steven''': &quot;Sleep is a curse, and yet a curse I need to live&quot;—Steven Universe.
----
:'''Garnet''': Let me show you how it's done. ''(She falls over, stiff as a board)''
:'''Pearl''': That's pretty convincing.
----
:'''Steven''': Lapis!
:'''Lapiz Lazuli''': No. I'm ''not'' Lapis anymore. We're Malachite now.

=== ''[[w:Cry for Help (Steven Universe)|Cry for Help]]'' ===
:'''Garnet''': It's as I feared.
:''[The Communication Hub is glowing and shooting a beam of light towards the sky]''
:'''Pearl''': It looks like Peridot somehow repaired the Communication Hub. Well, at least some of it.
:'''Steven''': So... we just gotta wreck it up again, right? (''to Amethyst'') You guys should form Sugilite!
:'''Amethyst''': (''smiling a bit'') Yeah... Well, it's up to Garnet, I guess. (''smiling widely, to Garnet'') What do you say? ''[Pearl looks scared in the background]'' Shall we mash it up?...
:'''Garnet''': No.
:'''Amethyst''': But, don't we need to be huge like last time?
:'''Garnet''': Last time was a disaster. Last time we fused, Sugilite went berserk. It's because of her that we can't even warp here anymore. (''takes off her visor'') I can be brash, you can be reckless. And we can both get carried away. So, for the time being, ''[She puts her visor back on and Amethyst's reflection can be seen in them]'' Sugilite is benched. What we need now is to be careful. ''[Steven gasps]'' It's you and me, Pearl. Let's fuse. ''[Pearl looks astonished as she begins to tear up]'' Don't cry, Pearl. ''[Pearl tries to not cry and quivers as she strongly breathes in through her nose, sniffling thickly]'' Come on, let's do this.
:'''Pearl''': I'm right behind you. (''sniffling'')
:'''Steven''': (''running towards them'') Woo-hoo! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! *sits to the left of Lion* (''Amethyst walks over'')
:'''Garnet''': (''gemstones glow'') Ready.
:'''Pearl''': (''grunts; stretches'') Hang on, it's been such a long time.
----
:'''Sardonyx''': Gooooood evening, everybody! (''struts over to Lion, Steven, and Amethyst and does a twirl'') This is the lovely Sardonyx! Coming to you ''a-live'' from the soon-to-be-former Communication Hub! How are y'all doin' tonight?
:'''Amethyst''': (''sarcastically'')  Great...
:'''Steven''': (''gasps'') Giant woman!
----
:'''Amethyst''': ''Maybe you're better off with her / I think she's better for you / I forgot how great it felt to be us / Guess I got carried away. / I had to use you to make me feel strong / But I don't care about that now / I see a tower built out of my mistakes / And it all comes crashing down. / Is there something I can doo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo / Can I make it up to you?''
----
:'''Amethyst''': Stop!
:'''Pearl''': Is something the matter, Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You... you shouldn't.
:'''Steven''': Pearl, we saw you.
:'''Pearl''': (''shocked'') What?
:'''Steven''': You need to tell Garnet it was you!
:'''Garnet''': I don't understand.
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry. It's just... so much fun being Sardonyx with you.
:'''Garnet''': ''[drops Pearl to the ground]'' ''That's'' why I couldn't see us finding Peridot.
:'''Pearl''': Wait, let me explain!
:'''Garnet''': You've been fixing the hub!
:'''Pearl''': It really was Peridot! The first time.
:'''Garnet''': You ''tricked'' me!
:'''Pearl''': No! No, no, no, no! We just needed a reason to fuse! I just wanted to share a few more victories with you!
:'''Garnet''': Those weren't ''victories''!
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, Garnet! You know, we're so much weaker than you! Fusing with you is like our one chance to feel... ''stronger''!
:'''Garnet''': Don't defend her! Peridot is out there somewhere and Pearl's been distracting us with... ''nothing''!
:'''Pearl''': Garnet...
:'''Garnet''': ''[angrily points at her]'' That's enough! ''[to Amethyst]'' Amethyst, fuse with me!
:'''Amethyst''': But-!
:'''Garnet''': (''clenching her fist'') Let's just get this over with.

=== ''Keystone Motel'' ===
:'''Steven''': Pearl! Where have you been?!
:'''Pearl''': Looking for Peridot… For a few days straight. Steven, I know I might have… disappointed all of you. I know Garnet's very upset with me. But I'm going to prove to her that she can trust me again. ''[Garnet walks in through the front door]'' Oh! Garnet! I was just looking for Peridot! She's bound to be somewhere, right? Any new ideas? ''[Garnet says nothing and walks past her]'' I'm sorry
----
:'''Garnet''': ''[agitated, panting]'' Calm down... I don't feel like forgiving Pearl!... You don't understand, you must... If you're not going to listen, then you can just GO! ''[splits into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': ''[calmly]'' We must move past this, Ruby.
:'''Ruby''': ''[furiously]'' She ''lied'' to us so we'd form Sardonyx! She ''tricked'' us! Don't you feel used?!
:'''Sapphire''': You're choosing to take it personally.
:'''Ruby''': IT'S ''FUSION'', SAPPHIRE! WHAT'S MORE PERSONAL TO US THAN ''FUSION?!''
:'''Sapphire''': I know you're still upset...
:'''Ruby''': Oh, so it's just me?!
:'''Sapphire''': Of course not. Can't you see I'm completely engulfed with rage?
:'''Ruby''': Well, it doesn't feel like it!
:'''Sapphire''': The sooner we forgive Pearl, the better it will be for us all.
:'''Ruby''': YOU'RE NOT AS ABOVE THIS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE! 
----
:'''Sapphire''': ''[about Ruby, while she shakes the table]'' This will pass. She'll eventually just burn herself out.
:'''Ruby''':  ''[angrily]'' THAT'S WHAT ''YOU'' THINK! '''I AM AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY!''' ''[flips the table]''
:''[while Greg talks to Steven, arguing with each other simultaneously]''
:'''Ruby''': You don't know me!
:'''Sapphire''': How could I possibly not know you? We always fuse! We always fuse, what are you even going on about fusion?
:'''Ruby''': Look at you! ''[laughing]'' You don't even know yourself! Ha! 
:'''Sapphire''': So don't act so ridiculous. 
:'''Ruby''': ''I'm'' ridiculous?!
:'''Sapphire''': Yes, yes.
----
:'''Steven''': I was so happy when Garnet said she wanted to go on this trip with me and Dad! Home's been awful! Here's been awful! I thought you wanted to have a fun time, but everyone's been acting awful too! It... it just came with us! I don't understand! Is it... is it me?
:'''Ruby''': ...No! Steven, it's all us!
:'''Sapphire''': But we made him feel like it was his fault... I keep looking into the future, when all of this has already been solved, as if it doesn't matter how you feel in the present! ''[starting to cry]'' No wonder you think I don't care...!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire... No, nonononono! This is all my fault, I... I didn't want to look for a solution, I... I just wanted to be mad! You're right! You're always right! I was being stupid!
:'''Sapphire''': I don't think you're stupid!
:'''Ruby''': I'm... sorry. ''[gently brushes Sapphire's hair aside, revealing her sad eye]''
:'''Sapphire''': You honestly think I'm not upset about what happened? I was just... trying to do the right thing.
:'''Ruby''': I know... ''[starts smiling]'' You know what's nice about being split up?
:'''Sapphire''': What?
:'''Ruby''': I get to look at you...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[pushes her off, laughing]'' Be serious!
:'''Ruby''': ''[hugs Sapphire]'' There's my Laughy Sapphy!
:'''Sapphire''': Shh! You're embarrassing me in front of Steven! ''[cut to Steven, feeling awkward at the scene]''

=== ''Historical Friction'' ===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Pearl! ''[sees a desolate Pearl sitting on the couch, looking at the ceiling]'' Pearl?
:'''Pearl''': ''[jumps up]'' Steven! You're back!
:'''Steven''': Yeah... ''[sits down]'' Show business is rough.
:'''Pearl''': Is there something I can help you with?
:'''Steven''': Not unless you can make William Dewey interesting.
:'''Pearl''': How do ''you'' know William Dewey?
:'''Steven''': I'm gonna be him in this play! But he's totally boring! He's perfect and he never makes mistakes.
:'''Pearl''': ''[sigh]'' Wish I could say the same for myself.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nobody's like that! Everybody gets stuff wrong, and then you have to keep going and it's hard, which is why it's great when you never stop trying!
:'''Pearl''': ..When did you get so smart?

=== ''Friend Ship'' ===
:''[Steven and the Gems enter a room in the ship. Peridot appears on a projected screen]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughs]'' You Gems really are as dull as dirt!
:'''Pearl''': You're the dull one if you thing you can fly this wreck!
:'''Peridot''': ''[pauses]'' What? Can you speak louder? Some of these communicators are gunked up.
:'''Steven''': ''[cleans off a microphone, speaks into it]'' Pearl says ''you're'' the dull one if you think you can fly this wreck!
:'''Peridot''': ''[waits for Steven's response to come through] [laughs]'' Fly? I'm not using this vessel to fly. I'm using it to '''''TRAP YOU!''''' ''[a door closes, trapping Steven and the Gems in the room]'' Isn't this nice? No more Crystal Gems running around, messing with my plans, destroying my things. Looks like I've got you just where I want you. How does it feel to be so easily outsmarted, you '''''CLODS?!'''''
:'''Pearl''': No...
:'''Amethyst''': ''[speaks into the microphone]'' Hey, uh, this is Amethyst. I don't appreciate being called a clod, you clo-
:'''Peridot''': Enough talk! Prepare yourselves for annihilation! ''[dramatically hits a button]'' Hiyah! ''[nothing happens, hits it again]'' Hiyah!
:''[the room's laser cannons activate and take aim at Steven and the Gems]''
:'''Peridot''': It works! Yes! '''''DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIIIIE!'''''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Pearl, stop. That isn't helping.
:'''Pearl''': I have to do something. I can't believe I walked us right into Peridot's trap. This is all my… ''[Peridot's hologram disappears as the ground starts to shake]'' fault?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''[thru screen]'' Garnet… I'm sorry!
:'''Amethyst''': Wait a sec!
:'''Pearl''': Things weren't supposed to turn out this way... ''[inside, Garnet punches the wall again]''
:'''Garnet''': We'll get outta here somehow.
:'''Pearl''': ''[sighs]'' That's not what I mean! I really wanted to catch Peridot to make up for what I did... ''[Garnet withdraws her gauntlets]'' I wanted to prove to you that... that everything could go back to normal...
:'''Garnet''': Catching Peridot won't make things go back to normal. ''[thru screen]'' This isn't about Peridot.
:'''Amethyst''': Hey... they're actually talking!
:'''Steven''': Now they can finally work things out!
:''[soon, the gears start to activate and turn and start closing into the trapped two]''
:'''Amethyst''': Not if they get crushed!
:''[both Garnet and Pearl push their unflinching sides]''
:'''Pearl''': Please! Tell me! How can I make you forgive me?!
:'''Garnet''': You can't! You lied to me! You need to learn that there are consequences to your actions!
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry! I... I couldn't help myself!
:'''Garnet''': ''[kicks opposite side of wall next to Pearl]'' I don't want to hear your excuses!
:'''Pearl''': But it's true! No matter how hard I try to be strong like you, I'm just a Pearl. I'm useless on my own. ''[cries]'' I need someone to tell me what to do.
:''[the walls suddenly stop moving; Both Amethyst and Steven pull her whip on its gears in its place. Garnet and Pearl pause for a beat]''
:'''Pearl''': When we fuse, I can feel what it's like to be you. Confident and secure, and complete. You're perfect. You're the perfect relationship. You're always together, I just... I wanted to be a part of that.
:'''Garnet''': You're wrong! I'm not as strong as you think. I fell apart over this. Ruby and Sapphire were in turmoil over how you deceived me. ''[thru screen]'' I came undone.
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, that really happened?
:'''Steven''': ''[nods]'' Hm.
:'''Garnet''': It's not easy being in control. I have weaknesses too, but I choose not to let them consume me. I struggle to stay strong because I know the impact I have on everyone. Please understand, Pearl. ''[thru screen]'' You have an impact too. ''[inside]'' There are times when I look up to you for strength. You are your ''own'' gem. You control your destiny. Not me, not Rose, not Steven. But you must choose to be strong, so we can move forward. So I can trust you again.
:'''Pearl''': I understand. I can't give up anymore!
:'''Garnet''': Good.

=== ''Nightmare Hospital'' ===
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': ''[sighs]'' I had a rough day at work and I'm not in the mood for any more surprises.
:'''Connie''': Whatsyjf happened at work?
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': There was a really strange case at the hospital today, straight out of a ''nightmare''. ''[beat]'' Oh, don't worry, the rules of doctor-patient confidentiality keep me from sharing the graphic details, but... Hang on a moment. When did we get a coat rack?
:'''Connie''': Oh, no...
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': A ''SWORD''?! Connie, where did you get this?!
:'''Steven''': I-it's—
:'''Connie''': I found it! I just... found it outside and I wanted to show it to Steven.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': How could you possibly think this is okay?!
:'''Connie''': It's—
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Do you know how many children I see everyday in the hospital who've cut their faces off playing with swords?!
:'''Connie''': I—
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': NONE!! Because they all have parents who love them, and who don't let them play around with deadly weapons like some kind of gang member! No playing with swords, under any circumstances! ''[her cell phone rings, answers it]'' This is Dr. Maheswaran. Yes, calm down, Stromberg. Another one?
:'''Steven''': ''[to Connie]'' Is she gonna give it back? 
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': All right, I'll-I'll be right there. ''[zips sword in duffle bag]'' I have to go to the hospital. I'll have a talk with your father to calculate just how grounded you are. ''[leaves, comes back]'' And we're using the abacus! ''[leaves again]''
:'''Connie''': I ''hate'' that abacus. Steven, I'm so sorry. She took your mother's sword!
:'''Steven''': Maybe we can get her to change her mind?
:'''Connie''': She never ''ever'' changes her mind. We've got to get that sword back ourselves.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Connie''': Mom... I'm really sorry about lying to you. It started off as a tiny secret, and then I felt like if I didn't hide it, you wouldn't let me see Steven ever again.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Is that how you feel? Are we too controlling?
:'''Connie''': ..Maybe.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': I just wanted to be a good mother. I... I just wanted to protect you.
:'''Connie''': I can protect myself now! ''[Dr. Maheswaran pauses for a long beat, sighs]''
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Okay. ''[Connie winces]'' We'll... pull back on the rules, and I'll try to keep an open mind about ''[Connie's lenses]'' this, and ''[Lion]'' that, and... him. ''[Steven stays frightened]'' It scares me that you can't talk to me. I need to know what's happening in your life. I... I need to step in when you're in over your head. Would you just promise me you'll stop all this lying?
:'''Connie''': ''[beat]'' That's a rule. ''[they embrace each other]''
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': I love you, honey.
:'''Connie''': I love you too, Mom.

=== ''Sadie's Song'' ===
:'''Sadie''': Please, Mom. Don't make me do this.
:'''Barb''': Make you? You said you wanted to sing.
:'''Sadie''': Yeah! I did! I did! I did, I did. Just like I say lots of things like, &quot;Hey, Mom. Swimming looks fun&quot;, then bam! Suddenly, I'm anchoring a 400 meter relay for the Beach City Seals. &quot;Hey, Mom. I thought signing up for softball would be nice.&quot; 6 birthdays later, I'm still getting nothing but kneepads and batting helmets. &quot;Hey, Mom. I wanna sing at this year's Beachapalooza&quot;, and what do I get? THIS! I just thought, for once, I get to do things my way, but you came in and took over everything like you always do.
:'''Barb''': I just wanted everyone to know how talented my daughter is.
:'''Sadie''': THIS is not your daughter.
:'''Barb''': ''[stunned]'' I'm sorry.

=== ''Catch and Release'' ===
:'''Steven''': ''[getting padded by Peridot]'' Why are you acting like this?!
:'''Peridot''': You smashed me into a limbless cloud, you trapped me in your bubble dungeon, and you called me... ''cute''! ''[Steven evades her punch, face-flat on the floor]''
:'''Steven''': I didn't poof you! I freed you! ''[Peridot turns back]''
:'''Peridot''': Why would you make such a miscalculation?
:'''Steven''': Back at the warp pad, what were you trying to say? Why do we need you? What do you know?
:'''Peridot''': What do I know? Everything there is to know about the Cluster, you pebble!
:'''Steven''': Cluster? Wait, pebble?
:'''Peridot''': My mission. The reason why I'm on this sad rock in the first place! I was to check progress on the Cluster! Just in and out, before it hatches. I wasn't supposed to get stuck here! But now it's going to emerge and nothing can stop it, and we'll all be shattered!!
:'''Steven''': Okay, okay, wait, slow down. Now, from the top—emerging, hatching, Clusters?
:'''Peridot''': You wanna know?
:'''Steven''': Yes.
:'''Peridot''': You ''really'' wanna know?
:'''Steven''': Yes?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[in bathroom]'' Hmm... Seems I've discovered some sort of archaic... think chamber. Roomy, with a fresh hint of Earth citrus. ''[lifts toilet seat]'' A perfect crossroads for my escape.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[fiddling the bathroom doorknob]'' It's locked.
:'''Garnet''': Peridot, open the door! ''[flushing sounds are heard]''
:'''Amethyst''': Uh, if you're trying to flush yourself down the toilet, it ''won't'' work. ''[cut to Peridot spinning inside the toilet bowl]'' Trust me, I've tried.
:'''Pearl''': How did she get out?! We bubbled her!
:'''Amethyst''': Maybe we needed a bigger bubble.
:'''Garnet''': My bubbles are fine.
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating nervously]'' I did it.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' Steven, why would you do such a thing?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I'm tired of playing these games. If we can't fight her, fine. We'll talk. Peridot!
:'''Peridot''': ''[slips off the sink]'' Whoa!
:'''Garnet''': All right, no more fighting. Let's just have a civil conversation.
:'''Peridot''': As if I'd negotiate with you, filthy war machine!
:'''Garnet''': ''[summons gauntlets]'' Okay, let's kick her butt.
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Peridot''': Yeah! Destroy me again! ''[hangs on bath curtain pole with a plunger]'' And have fun trying to talk to me when I'm in a ''bubble''! ''[almost slips off]''
:'''Pearl''': I really hate to say it, but unfortunately if she has information, she's more valuable to us like… this.
:'''Garnet''': This is going to be tricky. ''[hear knobs turning, water splashing]''
:'''Peridot''': H-h-hot hot hot!!
:'''Steven''': You have to turn the knob the other way for cold! ''[later in the kitchen with the Gems]'' Wait, so we're just gonna let her live in my bathroom?
:'''Pearl''': Well, yes. What other option do we have? Keep her outside on a leash?

=== ''When It Rains'' ===
:'''Garnet''': ''[banging on the bathroom door]'' Open the door, Peridot! If this &quot;Cluster&quot; is putting us in danger, you need to tell us what it is so we can stop it!
:'''Peridot''': No! I hate you! I'm not telling you anything about the Cluster!
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, come on. Is it like a big, hunk of granola?
:'''Peridot''': What's granola? 
:'''Pearl''': I'm sure it's not granola. Now, Peridot, I'm sure we can reach some sort of agreement. Perhaps a trade is in order?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, sure. Why don't you just give me back my leg enhancements and my arm attachments with my screen and my log and all my information. Oh, wait, YOU DESTROYED THEM! So, no, I don't think we can reach some sort of agreement!
:'''Steven''': ''[flushing the toilet]'' Okay, Peridot, you can turn around now. ''[exits the bathroom, clears throat]'' Sorry for interrupting your interrogation.
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry about it, Steven.
:'''Pearl''': I swear, Peridot is gonna crack any second now.
:'''Peridot''': I'll ''never'' crack for the likes of you, you… Crystal Clods! ''[laughs]''
:'''Pearl''': ''[angrily]'' Ooh, I got your clods right here, you little…!
:'''Garnet''': ''[puts her hand on her shoulder]'' Hold on, Pearl. If she's not gonna be of any help, let's investigate this thing on our own.
:'''Steven''': I'll come with you.
:'''Garnet''': Sorry, Steven. We're gonna need you to stay here and keep an eye on our…''guest.''
:'''Steven''': Really?
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah. Make sure she doesn't try anything.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry. She's harmless without her limb enhancers.
:'''Peridot''': I'M NOT HARMLESS!
:'''Pearl''': Oh, hush up!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': These are the early attempts at artificial fusion.
:'''Steven''': That's a lot of gem shards.
:'''Peridot''': We were growing them here at this very site. But these were just prototypes for the final product, a singular giant artificial fusion, comprised of millions of gem shards…the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, you're saying there's a giant mutant gem the size of the Earth under us right now?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. When it forms, it'll be much, much bigger than the Earth. Right now, it lies dormant, incubating in the Earth's core. But when it emerges and takes its physical form, it will destroy the planet. The prototypes are already emerging. The Cluster is next. If we can't get off this planet, we've got to stop the Cluster! I thought it'd be impossible, but now we have a chance.
:'''Steven''': What is it?
:'''Peridot''': ''[grabs Steven's shoulders and grins malevolently]'' It's you, Steven! ''[she and Steven climb out of the control room]'' Now that you're filled in, we can get to work!
:'''Steven''': Uhh, how am I supposed to help?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you have all the information that we need about Earth and its erratic behavior. Put that together with my expansive knowledge of the Cluster and we just might be able to stop it!
:'''Steven''': No, Peridot, I don't think you get it! Just because I know how clouds work doesn't mean I know how to stop a giant mutant in the center of the earth! Besides, the only reason that I know anything about clouds and rain is because my dad told me.
:'''Peridot''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': I used to be really scared of thunderstorms, just like you. Then Dad explained how rain and all that stuff works, then I wasn't scared of rain anymore.
:'''Peridot''': Well, I'm sure you have other knowledge about how this planet works.
:'''Steven''': Sure, but none of it's going to help us. If we want to stop this Cluster thing, we'll need help from the Crystal Gems.
:'''Peridot''': I said I don't need them! Let's just warp me back to the bathroom, or whatever you call it, and we'll take care of this. If it looks really bad, then we can just ask this &quot;dad&quot; for help, right?

=== ''Back to the Barn'' ===
:'''Peridot''': What is that?!
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking with the Cluster puppet]'' It's the Cluster.
:'''Peridot''': It does not look like that. But it ''is'' real, and it can activate at any moment!
:'''Amethyst''': What a cluster.
:'''Garnet''': That abomination must be stopped.
:'''Pearl''': But how? We'll need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth, it'll have to-
:'''Peridot''': ''[swats at Pearl, interrupting her]'' Hey! I wasn't finished speaking! What we ''need'' is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': All right. What we have here in the barn should be adequate enough for us to get started. First, I recommend we organize the component types, and assemble a rough blueprint based off what we have available. Sorry, Steven. It's a lovely drawing, but it won't look like this. ''[Steven stops spinning on the swivel chair, now frowning]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[examines piece of chalk]'' Hmm... Good. Yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.
:'''Pearl''': ..Uh, what?
:'''Peridot''': Hm? ''[beat]'' Umm, that will be all? ''[claps to her for a beat, whispers to Steven]'' How do you get her to leave?
:'''Pearl''': Excuse me, I am not leaving.
:'''Steven''': Yeah! She's gotta stay here to help us build the drill thing, right?
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughs]'' No, no, you're confused. A Pearl can't build a thing like this.
:'''Steven''': Why not?
:'''Peridot''': Because Pearls aren't ''for'' this! They're... for standing around, an-and looking nice, and uh... holding your stuff for you. Right?
:'''Pearl''': That's enough! If we're going to work together, you're going to have to listen to me.
:'''Peridot''': Listen to you? ''[starts laughing, turns to Steven]'' Did you teach her to talk like this?
:'''Steven''': What are you talking about?
:'''Peridot''': She's a Pearl. She's a made-to-order servant just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld.
:'''Steven''': Wait... There's hundreds of Pearls?!
:'''Pearl''': ''[nervous]'' Well... yes, but—
:'''Peridot''': ''[holding Pearl's sash]'' And she looks like a fancy one, too. ''[Pearl gasps]''
:'''Steven''': Hundreds of Pearls...
:'''Peridot''': So, who do you belong to anyway?
:'''Pearl''': ''[grabs her sash away from her]'' Nobody!!
:'''Peridot''': Then... what are you for? ''[Pearl recoils back]'' Well, you can belong to me for now. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl? What would they say back home?
:'''Pearl''': Now listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you've forgotten, you're on ''our'' turf now! And I didn't fight a thousand-year war for this planet's independence to take orders from the likes of ''you''!!
:'''Peridot''': Excuse me? I am a natural technician and a certified Kindergartener. I was made for this! You were made to take orders, not to give them!
:'''Steven''': Whoa, whoa, hang on, guys! Now, we can all agree that you are both good at building things, so... can't you just try listening to each other?
:'''Both''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NO!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Pearl''': I'm as good at building things as you! Better, even!
:'''Peridot''': Hah! Name one thing you can engineer better! Go on!
:'''Steven''': ''[whispers]'' Robots.
:'''Both''': Hm?
:'''Steven''': You should build robots. Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race... with prizes. Giant robo-prizes!
:'''Pearl''': You mean like a competition?
:'''Steven''': Yeah! To see who's better at building stuff!
:'''Peridot''': What are these robots you speak of? 
:'''Steven''': They're like those funky marble guys you were sending—only bigger, and you can ride them! ''[makes robot noises]''
:'''Peridot''': Hah! Building one of these robots will be easy!
:'''Pearl''': Well, I can build one faster!
:'''Peridot''': That's what you think!

=== ''Too Far'' ===
:'''Peridot''': ''[talking into a recorder]'' Log date 7–1-1-2. It's the third rotation of the Earth since commencements of a... collaborative approach to stopping the Cluster.
:'''Pearl''': I've finished drawing up the blueprints for the drill head. Peridot, if you could come take a look at this?
:'''Peridot''': Remind me again why I should listen to you? Oh, right. ''[plays recorder]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder] &quot;The Pearl here has developed an aptitude for engineering that I begrudgingly respect. But that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing... crying... singing while crying.&quot; [Amethyst laughs]''
:'''Pearl''': ''[to Steven] [annoyed]'' Why did you give her that?
:'''Steven''': Well, we did destroy all her stuff. I thought it might help make her feel a little better.
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder] &quot;Clod!&quot; [fast-forwards] &quot;Mighty clod!&quot; [fast-forwards] &quot;Running out of ways to say clod.&quot;''
:'''Garnet''': All right. I chased away those cows. Now let's get to work.
:'''Peridot''': ''[to Garnet] [clears throat]'' Before we begin, would you mind unfusing? It's making me incredibly uncomfortable.
:''[beat as Steven, Amethyst and Pearl nervously look to Garnet. The scene then cuts to Garnet leashing Peridot to a fence.]
:'''Peridot''': ''[as Garnet walks away]'' What?! What'd I say?! 
:'''Steven''': Did we really have to do that?
:'''Garnet''': Her having free reign of the place made ''me'' incredibly uncomfortable.
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:''[Steven and Amethyst walk up to a leashed Peridot growling over a microwave]''
:'''Peridot''': I just need some sort of leverage optimizer...
:'''Amethyst''': Leverage optimizer?
:'''Peridot''': That's what I said.
:'''Amethyst''': Ohhh! Ha! You mean you want a screwdriver? ''[laughing]''
:'''Peridot''': Do you have one or not?
:'''Steven''': Uh... ''[hands a screwdriver]'' Why don't you just use this one?
:'''Peridot''': Because it was outside my radius.
:'''Amethyst''': He-hey... Hey, Peridot... ''[points to her nose]'' What do you call this?
:'''Peridot''': A scent sponge.
:'''Steven''': Huh? ''[Amethyst laughs some more]''
:'''Amethyst''': Okay... ''[opens her eye]'' what's this?
:'''Peridot''': Vision sphere.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, that's—
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, wait, Steven! Peridot... ''[waves her fingers]'' these?
:'''Peridot''': ''[getting annoyed]'' Touch stumps.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[points to her foot]'' This?!
:'''Peridot''': Gravity connectors.
:'''Amethyst''': ''This''?!
:'''Peridot''': '''THAT'S YOUR BUTT!!!''' ''[Steven and Amethyst laugh out loud]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, man, Peridot, you're killing me!
:'''Peridot''': I am not! That would violate our truce agreement!
:'''Amethyst''': No, no, no! You're funny!
:'''Peridot''': Funny?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': The strangest thing is, Amethyst... you think you have to listen to them! ''[laughs]'' You are the one they should put you in charge!
:'''Amethyst''': Ha! That's your best joke yet.
:'''Peridot''': No, really. Pearl is a Pearl. Garnet is a fusion. I don't even know what ''he's'' supposed to be.
:'''Steven''': Hey!
:'''Peridot''': You're the only Crystal Gem that's actually a Gem! 
:'''Amethyst''': Uh... ''[laughs nervously]'' What?
:'''Peridot''': You outrank everyone on your team. They should be listening to you. You're a strong, singular, fully-functional soldier, despite the fact that you're defective.
:'''Amethyst''': ..Defective?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. You're small.
:'''Amethyst''': So?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you're not supposed to be! Hold on, wait, wait. Let me guess. ''[points to Amethyst's hole]'' This— ''[runs to hole]'' This is the hole you came out of. Too small, too low, the exit marks look about 500 years newer than every other hole. Hmm... this place must have been empty when you came out. No wonder you have no idea what you're supposed to look like!
:'''Steven''': Peridot... ''[Amethyst holds Steven on the shoulder]''
:'''Amethyst''': What was I supposed to look like?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you're a quartz. They're huge, loyal soldiers. You should be twice your size. Broad shouldered, intimidating, but you simply stayed in the ground too long.
:'''Amethyst''': Are you saying I'm wrong?!
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughing]'' Gemetically speaking, yes. When you think about it it's also... ''[snickers]'' funny! ''[Amethyst feels more enraged]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Peridot''': Hey, soldier. Maybe you can help me get this hunk of drill off.
:''[Amethyst violently slashes the drill head off of an Injector with her whip]''
:'''Peridot''': See? Look at that! You can do everything a normal quartz can do. Let's head back and shove this thing in Pearl's face!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst? Are you okay?
:'''Amethyst''': Don't worry about it.
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Pearl''': ''WE LEAVE FOR ONE SECOND AND EVERYTHING GOES OFF THE RAILS!''
:'''Garnet''': I blame the cows.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder]'' &quot;''Log date 7-1-1-2. This entire planet is backwards. There hasn't been one instance of correct behavior exhibited by anyone of these Crystal Gems. I have concluded that they are all defective. But I am no better. I failed my mission and I'm now working with the enemy. And I can't even get that right. I have apparently &quot;hurt&quot; Amethyst's &quot;feelings&quot;, which was not my intent. If I damaged my standing with the best Gem here, then I've made a serious mistake. I'm still learning. I hope you understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. [pause] Peridot, Facet 5, end log.''&quot;

=== ''The Answer'' ===
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Sapphire had been called to Earth by Blue Diamond, specifically to share her vision of the future.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[enters her Diamond's palanquin]'' My Diamond, I have arrived.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond spoke…
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Sapphire, tell me what will happen here.
:'''Sapphire''': I foresee the rebels attacking the Cloud Arena. Before they are cornered, they will destroy the physical forms of seven gems, including two of my Ruby guards, and myself. Immediately after my form is destroyed, the rebels will be captured. The rebellion ends here.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Thank you, Sapphire.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond said, relieved.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': That's all I needed to know.
:'''Sapphire''': I look forward to speaking with you again once I reform back on Homeworld.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Rose''': ''[off-screen]'' Blue Diamond, leave this planet! This colony will ''not'' be completed!
:'''Ruby Guard''': It's the rebels!
:'''Various Gems''': Who are you?! Show yourselves!
:'''Rose''': ''[floating from above Pearl]'' We…
:'''Rose &amp; Pearl''': …are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The attack was right on schedule.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': Thank you, Ruby. You did your best.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Ruby suddenly realized what Sapphire meant. She'd known that Ruby would fail. Sapphire had accepted it. But Ruby… Ruby could not.
:'''Ruby''': ''NO!!'' ''[charges at Sapphire, pushing her out of the way of Pearl's attack, causing them to spin into the air and accidentally fuse into Garnet for the first time]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The furious crowd closed in around Ruby and Sapphire. They'd never seen fusion of two different types of gems.
:'''Various Gems''': Unbelievable! Disgusting! This is unheard of!
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond's voice cut through the crowd.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': The rebels have fled. Sapphire, this is ''not'' the scenario you described.
:'''Sapphire''': This is… not what I saw! I don't know what happened, I…
:'''Ruby''': No! It was me!
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Clearly.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Said Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': How dare you fuse with a member of my court?
:'''Ruby''': Forgive me, I…
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': You will be broken for this!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Both''': ''Where did we go, what did we do?''
:''I think we made something entirely new''
:''And it wasn't quite me and it wasn't quite you''
:''I think it was someone entirely new.''

:'''Ruby''': ''Oh, um''
:''Well, I just can't stop thinking''
:'''Sapphire''': ''So, um''
:''Did you say I was different?''

:'''Ruby''': ''And you hadn't before''
:'''Sapphire''': ''Of course not''
:''When would I have ever?''
:'''Ruby''': ''I'm so sorry''
:'''Sapphire''': ''No, no, don't be''
:'''Ruby''': ''And now you're here forever!''

:'''Sapphire''': ''What about you?''
:'''Ruby''': ''What about me?''
:'''Sapphire''': ''Well, you're here too''
:''We're here together.''

:''Mm-m-m-m-mm''
:'''Both''': ''Mm-m-m-m-mm, hm-m-m-m-m''
:''Mm-m-m-m-mm''
:''Mm-m-m-m-mm...''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' I was back. I was someone and I didn't know who. But I felt I was getting the hang of my strange new form. ''[beat]'' And then I fell.
:'''Past Garnet''': Ahh! ''[tumbling down a hill and crashes in bushes]'' Ouch... ''[a sword is pointed to her face]'' Aahh! Don't hurt her! Don't hurt... me?
:''[Pan up to see Pearl as the sword bearer]''
:'''Pearl''': It's you... the fusion.
:'''Past Garnet''': We didn't mean to fuse! Well... well, we did this time. We'll unfuse! We-we'll... w-we'll... ''[Rose Quartz comes by]''
:'''Rose''': No, no, please. I'm glad to see you again.
:'''Garnet''': And there they were - Rose Quartz, the leader of the rebellion and her terrifying renegade Pearl.
:'''Past Garnet''': I don't... upset you?
:'''Rose''': Who cares about how I feel? How ''you'' feel is bound to be much more interesting.
:'''Past Garnet''': How I feel? I-I feel... uh, lost... and scared... a-and happy. W-Why am I so sure that I'd rather be this than everything I was supposed to be, and that I'd rather do this than everything I was supposed to do? ''[Rose chuckles and smiles]''
:'''Rose''': Welcome to Earth.
:'''Past Garnet''': C-Can you tell me?! How was Ruby able to alter fate? Or, why was Sapphire willing to give up everything? W-What am I?!
:'''Rose''': No more questions. Don't ''ever'' question this. You already are the answer.
:''[Flashback story ends as Garnet concludes]''
:'''Steven''': So…what was it? The answer?
:'''Garnet''': ''[whispers]'' Love.
:'''Steven''': Wow… I knew it.
:'''Garnet''': So did I.

=== ''Steven's Birthday'' ===
:''[Steven runs and hides to an edge of the barn; he de-ages into his normal state]''
:'''Steven''': Ohhh, geez! If I can just keep this up for the rest of my life, no one will suspect a thi—
:''[he sees wide-eyed Amethyst and Greg staring at Steven for a beat; he drops a piñata stick]''
:'''Amethyst''': What are you doing?!
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' U-uh— well, what are ''[ages back]'' you doing?
:'''Greg''': What are ''you'' doing to your body?!
:'''Amethyst''': Woah, woah, woah... Have you been stretching yourself out all day?!
:'''Steven''': No! I was just... slouching.
:'''Greg''': Why are you doing this? It... really isn't like you.
:'''Steven''': Because, Dad! I can't stay a kid forever! When Connie grows up and becomes president, what is that gonna make me? First Boy?!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, you can't just keep stretching forever. If you hold it too long, you could really hurt yourself.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, well, I'm half-human so maybe it works different for me! We'll just have to wait and see, right?!
:'''Greg''': ''[sighs]'' Steven...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[trying to cheer up baby Steven but fails]'' My power means nothing to an infant.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Greg, Connie and Amethyst (as a baby car seat for baby Steven) drive up in his van; Connie waves a maraca trying to calm down baby Steven]''
:'''Connie''': How can the Gems not know what to do?!
:'''Greg''': You think they know the first thing about raising a baby? That was all me! But I don't get it. Driving always used to calm him down.
:'''Connie''': But, how do we change him back?!
:'''Greg''': I don't know! Look, Connie, let me take you home. I-I'll call you when this all this gets sorted out.
:''[Connie turns to baby Steven babbling and crying]''
:'''Connie''': W-Wait, no! I wanna stay.
:'''Greg''': Are you sure?
:'''Connie''': Yeah! I just want to be there for Steven. Don't worry, Steven. It doesn't matter to me what age it seems like you are, I wanna hang out with you no matter what. Your dad still has to earn his car wash and the Gems have to do gem stuff, so I'll watch you when they're not around. I can come see you after I'm done training with Pearl, too. Doesn't that sound fun? ''[baby Steven holds onto her finger; coos happily]''
:'''Greg''': Look at that! He finally stopped crying.
:'''Connie''': Well, that's a start. ''[Amethyst clears her throat]''
:'''Greg''': What's up, Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': Baby Steven needs changin'.

=== ''It Could've Been Great'' ===
:'''Steven''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:''And peace and war on the planet Earth''
:''Is there anything that's worth more''
:''Than peace and love on the planet Earth?''

:''Whoahh, come on and sing it with me''
:'''Peridot''': Sing?
:'''Steven''': ''The words relate to the key''
:'''Peridot''': Key?
:'''Steven''': ''If it's a pattern, if it's a pattern''
:''Then just repeat after me.''

:''Life and death and love and birth''
:'''Peridot''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:'''Steven''': ''Now using mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la!''
:'''Both''': ''And peace and war on the planet Earth.''
:'''Steven''': Yes, yes! That's it!
:'''Peridot''': That's so easy.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but that's what's fun about it! You should write something, you should write a song.
:'''Peridot''': About what?
:'''Steven''': Whatever you're thinking.
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''I guess we're already here, I guess we already know''
:''We've all got something to fear, we've all got nowhere to go''
:''I think you're all '''insane''', but I guess I am too''
:''Anybody would be if they were stuck on Earth with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''[laughing]'' Yes! ''Life and death and love and birth and''
:'''Amethyst''': ''Life and death and love and birth and''
:'''Pearl''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:''And peace and war on the planet Earth.''

:'''Garnet''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:'''Steven''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:'''Peridot''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:''Than peace and love on the planet Earth?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Huh? Hey, Peridot, who is this supposed to be?
:'''Peridot''': ''[runs up and gasps at the mural]'' It's Blue Diamond! Wait. Are they ''all'' here?! Ah, yes! There she is!
:'''Steven''': Who?
:''[They run up to the mural of Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Peridot''': Behold, Yellow Diamond! Isn't she magnificent?
:'''Steven''': Wow! So, who are the Diamonds anyway? They seem like a big deal.
:'''Peridot''': Are you joking me? The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! Together, they make up the Great Diamond Authority that governs Homeworld and all the outlying colonies! We live to serve them. ''[Garnet clears her throat and glares down at her in annoyance; nervously chuckles]'' I…I mean, we were all made to serve them, even though some of us don't anymore.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': This is so incredible! Only the most elite can enter these sanctums. We are literally walking in the footsteps of the Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': They must really like stairs.
:''[They enter an upstairs room with only a single mysterious object in the middle]''
:'''Steven''': Hey, what's this room?
:'''Garnet''': ''[continues walking upstairs]'' It's not what we came for.
:'''Amethyst''': Can we hurry it up? This place gives me the creeps.
:'''Steven''': ''[as they reach the top of the moon base]'' We really are on the moon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Peridot brings up a hologram of Earth, which starts eroding to a hollowed-out version with a ring system as Steven and the Gems awe in shock]''
:'''Peridot''': Ta-da! A finished Earth colony. Wow, look at this! Eighty-nine Kindergartens, sixty-seven spires, a Galaxy Warp in each facet, efficient use of all available materials. What were you thinking shutting this operation down?! It could've been great!
:'''Garnet''': No! You're wrong! 
:'''Peridot''': What do you mean? It's perfect. Look at it!
:'''Pearl''': We ''are'' looking at it.
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah, this plan stinks! 
:'''Garnet''': Completing this colony would have meant the extinction of all life on Earth!
:'''Peridot''': But think of the good it would've done! The Gems that would've been made are empire expanded! 
:'''Pearl''': Rose Quartz believed all life was precious and ''worth'' protecting.
:'''Peridot''': Well, if she wanted to protect it, she did a lousy job! There'd be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony! Now there's no colony, and there's gonna be no Earth! So thank you, Rose Quartz, you doomed the planet!
:''[Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst stare angrily at Peridot for a beat]''
:'''Steven''': Ohh-hoh-hoh! ''[nervously]'' Is there anything that's worth more than— ''[Garnet picks up Peridot]''
:'''Garnet''': You listen to me now. ''[summons gauntlet]'' You were talking about things that you do ''not'' understand.
:'''Steven''': Garnet! Stop, please! It's not worth it. We're done here. Let's just go home.
:''[Garnet drops Peridot on the seat and smashes the control panel with her gauntlet and the hologram dissipates; the Gems start leaving soon after. Steven sighs]''
:'''Peridot''': What'd I say? I'm just stating a fact. The rebellion didn't really save Earth, it just delayed the inevitable.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' That's not the way they see it. They've spent thousands of years trying to protect the Earth. I thought maybe you finally understood why.

=== ''Message Received'' ===
:'''Peridot''': ''[quickly hides the Diamond Communicator prism she took from the Moon Base behind her back when she sees Steven]'' Oh! Steven.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, I need to talk to you.
:'''Peridot''': Uh, yeah! Sure.
:''[They both enter the truck]''
:'''Peridot''': Why are we in this broken down vehicle?
:'''Steven''': I wanted to ask you…about the Diamonds?
:'''Peridot''': Oh! I don't know what the others have told you, but there's a reason they're in charge.
:'''Steven''': Why's that?
:'''Peridot''': They're objectively better than us. Every Gem has their strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They're absolutely totally completely flawless beings! Especially my diamond, Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!
:'''Steven''': You're really loyal to her, aren't you?
:'''Peridot''': How could I not be? We might have our little truce, but I'll never forsake the Gem I was made for!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': This is the Yellow Diamond control room.
:'''Amethyst''': Is that another Pearl?
:'''Steven''': Who is she?
:'''Pearl''': Not all Pearls know each other, Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Who authorized you to make this call?
:'''Peridot''': No one. But it's an emergency!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': That's no excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pearl?
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, my Diamond?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Why is there someone on the diamond line?
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't know! I was just about to tell her that…
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'll take it from here. ''[brings the screen up to her eye level, revealing herself]''
:''[The Crystal Gems gasp in shock]''
:'''Amethyst''': Is that…
:'''Pearl''': Yellow…
:'''Garnet''': Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wait! I— I wouldn't have called just to waste your time with a report.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You already have.
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' No, I mean... The reason I called – the ''real'' reason... I believe we should terminate the Cluster.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ...''Why?''
:'''Peridot''': The organic ecosystem creates resources unique to this world. We can't sacrifice all that potential just for one geo-weapon! I'd like to tell you some plans I came up with to utilize the planet without disrupting the local—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I've heard enough! I don't care about potential and resources.
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I want my Cluster, and I want that planet to ''die''. Just make that happen.
:'''Peridot''': ...No!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Huh?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Are you questioning my authority?
:'''Peridot''': I'm questioning your objectivity! My Diamond.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Well! ''[Yellow Diamond stands up]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You are out of line.
:'''Peridot''': I just think—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm not interested in the puny thoughts of a Peridot.
:'''Peridot''': But—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You have disrespected this channel and my time with your presence, and you would do well to—
:'''Peridot''': But—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''Shut your mouth!!'' ''[beat]'' You have failed at every stage of this mission! Your only chance to redeem yourself is to obey this simple order: You are to leave the Cluster to grow. It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take immense satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our star maps! ''Is that clear?!''
:'''Peridot''': I won't do it!! I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting! ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you know about the Earth?!
:'''Peridot''': ''[losing her temper]'' APPARENTLY MORE THAN ''YOU'', YOU... &lt;big&gt;'''''CLOD!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Yellow Diamond suddenly becomes incredibly livid at a petrified Peridot]'' Uhh... Peridot out.
:''[She terminates communication; Steven and the Gems come out from hiding and happily congratulate Peridot]''
:'''Steven''': That was AMAZING! 
:'''Peridot''': ''[sweating and looking devastated]'' I can't believe I just did that...
:'''Steven''': I was so wrong about being so wrong about you! 
:'''Peridot''': ''[still sweating and devastated]'' I can't believe I just did that...!
:'''Garnet''': You thought you could change her mind. 
:'''Amethyst''': Yellow D got torn down by the &quot;Peridactyl&quot;!
:'''Peridot''': ''[sighs and gives the communicator to Pearl]'' Can one of you take this? 
:'''Pearl''': Why? 
:'''Peridot''': Because it can be remotely detonated. 
:''[The communicator starts to glow red; Steven and the Gems panic while Peridot curls up into a ball on the ground]'' 
:'''Pearl''': How do we stop it?!
:'''Garnet''': Just get rid of it!
:'''Pearl''': Err, here, Amethyst! ''[passes it to her]''
:'''Amethyst''': ''WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?!''
:''[She throws it to Steven, who bubbles it; Garnet punches it away into the sky, where it explodes harmlessly]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[still curled up]'' I thought I could reason with her... 
:'''Amethyst''': ''[grinning]'' Yeah, you ''REALLY'' made her mad. 
:'''Pearl''': ''[smiling]'' And then you insulted her to her face. 
:'''Steven''': ''[overjoyed]'' Do you know what this means?! 
:'''Peridot''': I'm a traitor to my Homeworld. 
:'''Steven''': ''You're a Crystal Gem!!!'' ''[hugs Peridot]'' 
:'''Garnet''': ''[smiling]'' Whether you like it or not. 
:''[Peridot starts groaning loudly as the camera zooms out to the whole of Earth]''

=== ''Log Date 7 15 2'' ===
:'''Peridot''': Log Date 7-1-5-2. I can't believe I just did that! I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! ''[stops recording, rewinds and plays the recording; laughs madly]'' And I called Yellow Diamond a clod! Right to her face! ''[falls to her knees]'' I called Yellow Diamond a clod. ''Right to her face.''
:'''Steven''': Uh, Peridot? Are you going to be okay?
:'''Peridot''': ''[enthusiastically with a deranged smile]'' No!
:'''Steven''': It's all going to work out. You're with us now.
:'''Peridot''': You don't understand! I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy! I used to follow every order, every rule. Now I'm a traitor. ''[cringes]'' A rebel! ''[eyes turn to stars] '''A CRYSTAL GEMMMMMMMMMMMM....''' ''[snickers]''
:'''Steven''': Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
:'''Peridot''': '''NO IT'S NOT!''' ''[throws recorder at Garnet, who had just entered]'' It's a chronicle of my descent into madness!!!
:'''Garnet''': ''[holding out recorder to Peridot]'' You dropped this.
:'''Peridot''': Get it away from me! Give it to Steven. Return madness to its source!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Steven presses the rewind button on the tape recorder, rewinding all the way back to the beginning]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' Log Date 7-1-1-2. The Steven has given me this Earth machine to replace my communicator log. It looks…extremely primitive. He also said he wanted me to stop calling him, &quot;The Steven.&quot;
:'''Steven''': It's just &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' I said I'd call him whatever I want. ''[hisses at him; Steven holds up his finger in her face]'' He told me that was rude.
:'''Steven''': Rude.
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' I guess I'll him, &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': &quot;Jokes.&quot; ''[opens up the joke book; clears throat]'' &quot;Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road.&quot; ''[laughs]'' What's a chicken?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Steven installs a TV, inserts a VHS tape in it, and ''Camp Pining Hearts'' begins to start]''
:'''TV Narrator''': ''On the last episode of ''&quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot;…''
:'''Paulette''': I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work!
:'''Percy''': It's color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
:''[They lean in closer to kiss]''
:'''Peridot''': What is this strange ritual?
:'''Steven''': Uh, that's um…
:'''Peridot''': Are they attempting fusion?
:'''Steven''': No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life--
:'''Peridot''': How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! ''[through recorder]'' ''Hour 78 of ''&quot;Camp Pining Hearts.&quot;'' [repeating Percy's line] ''It's the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?''
:'''Steven''': Uh, you've been here for a few days. Is everything okay?
:'''Peridot''': I've just been… watching your previously recorded entertainment.
:'''Steven''': Is that the same episode from three days ago?
:'''Peridot''': There's more than one?
:'''Steven''': Hmm... nah. Oh, you made a picture. ''[reaches a piece of paper before Peridot snatches it]''
:'''Peridot''': Picture?! This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers. Somehow, the rejects at Camp Clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
:'''Steven''': Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
:'''Peridot''': Paulette? Ha! Paulette has ''no'' place in the camp's hierarchy. Now, Pierre-- Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races. Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation. They'd destroy the camp!
:'''Steven''': You got all this from one episode?
:'''Peridot''': It's ''{{w|subtext}}'', Steven. Allow me to explain. ''[cut back to recorder held by Steven]'' ''Well, first of all, Percy and Pierre are both on the yellow team, and als-''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, I remember this part. ''[fast-forwards recorder as we see Peridot speeding through the entire session; Steven soon falls asleep with Garnet now sitting on the couch]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[sped through]'' ''Percy is using his pogo stick to save her. Not to mention Percy is adept at aquatic sports. He would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Paulette, and the other part where Percy goes to the bottom of the lake to get Paulette's friendship bracelet ''proves'' that he has the largest lung capacity in the ''entire'' camp! And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land, when he hung Bunk Seven's underwear in the tree, the whole-'' ''[fast-forwarding stops]'' And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! ''[Steven slumps down the floor; Garnet gives a thumbs up; tears up her complex chart, angrily]'' ''GRAHHH!!!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that. Amethyst's company is entertaining as well, but the fused one… ''[sees Garnet for a long beat, she gives her a thumbs up]'' …eludes me.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Peridot, I'm proud of you.
:'''Peridot''': Why?!
:'''Garnet''': Because you've made an effort to understand me.
:'''Peridot''': But I ''still'' don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time?!
:'''Garnet''': I'm Percy and Pierre.
:'''Peridot''': ''[realizing]'' Oh!
:''[Steven fast-forwards the tape recorder]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] Okay, go.''
:'''Garnet''': ''[through recorder] Log Date 7-14-2.''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] No, you say it &quot;7-1-4-2.&quot; [groans] Log Date 7-1-4-2. I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet. I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion. Instead, I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
:'''Garnet''': ''[through recorder] Wait, keep it on a moment. Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring. You should give the recorder back to her now. She's going to want to keep it.''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] Wait, what?''

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154595</id>
      <parentid>3154593</parentid>
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      <text bytes="80328" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the second season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

=== ''Full Disclosure'' ===
:'''Greg''': I saw the spaceship starting to leave and then it crashed and I came back and— ''[sees Steven's black eye]'' Ugh, your eye... But you're okay! I guess those jerks were no match for the Crystal Gems!
:'''Steven''': No way! They were super strong!
:'''Greg''': But you were able to beat them back?
:'''Steven''': No, they totally stomped us! This warrior Jasper was super beefy and knocked me unconscious. Then they abducted me onto the ship because they wanted to take me away forever, and then we crashed the ship and I almost died! ''[Greg freaks out]''
:'''Greg''': W-What do they want with you?!
:'''Steven''': They think I'm Mom.
:'''Greg''': Ar-are more Homeworld Gems gonna come after you?!
:'''Steven''': I— uhh... I don't know. Maybe?
:'''Greg''': Steven, I'm supportive and very proud of you... and I'll be right back. ''[runs into his van]'' Gotta calm down. Where's my— ''[brings a series of CDs up front]'' Where's my relaxing music CD?! This one? ''[inserts CD; starts blaring loud metal music]'' Wrong one!! Stop!! Eject!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ronaldo''': Oh! I see... You come up here to brood too!
:'''Steven''': Brood?
:'''Ronaldo''': Yes, Steven. That's just what people like us do. Suffer quietly, shouldering the knowledge no one else can bear.
:'''Steven''': Hm.
:'''Ronaldo''': As an aficionado of the weird yourself, you've probably noticed ordinary people fear the cold leaded anchor of the truth. The abyss is no Sunday swan ride.
:'''Steven''': I know! My dad flipped out when I told him!
:'''Ronaldo''': Sounds typical. But it's a good reminder. This is no easy path we've chosen here. There are... sacrifices. Look at them all down there, Steven. It's our duty to let those simple people live out their simple lives, without ever knowing the burden of being friends with us.
:'''Steven''': At least we can be there for each other.
:'''Ronaldo''': Is that giant hand from the sky sitting right in the middle of the beach?! I gotta get some of this for my blog!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Aw, come on!
:'''Garnet''': No whining. We need to start cleaning up the debris.
:'''Pearl''': Garnet's right. People are already coming back into town!
:'''Steven''': We've got to keep them off the beach. If any humans got access to Gem technology, ''[shuts blinds]'' they could really hurt themselves. Maybe we should shut them out... for good.
:'''Pearl''': You know... we did once have a fence. Let's get a new one—with barbed wire! 
:'''Amethyst''': This time, let's build a moat. I could be... ''[shapeshifts her head]'' the crocodi-i-ile!! Jazz hands!
:'''Garnet''': No.
:'''Amethyst''': Why not?
:'''Pearl''': You always say you'll be the crocodile, but you never commit!
:'''Garnet''': No fence either.
:'''Amethyst/Pearl''': Garnet!
:'''Garnet''': Steven needs to see his father and his friends.
:'''Steven''': No, I don't! I can't keep clinging to the vestiges of my humanity. It's time I got serious. ''[his phone starts ring-toning again]'' Errh!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, why is your communication device playing that song?
:'''Steven''': It's Connie, trying to call me... but I can't face her anymore.
:'''Pearl''': So... you're just going to ignore her forever?
:'''Steven''': It's the responsible thing to do.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sees thru blinds]'' It's gonna be hard, 'cause she's coming up the steps right now.
:'''Steven''': What?!

=== ''Open Book'' ===

=== ''Joy Ride'' ===
:'''Steven''': Family stuff is tricky. 
:'''Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny''': Mmhm.
:'''Steven''': A few months back, my dad and the Gems grounded me from TV.
:'''Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny''': That's the worst. / Bummer. / No way!
:'''Steven''': And then I found out that the Gems are alien rebels and that there are other Gems out in space that want us dead 'cause they think we're traitors. And they tried to take me hostage 'cause they think I'm my mom. And... maybe I kinda am? ''[sighs]'' I wish I could talk to Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl about it, but... I think they kinda blame me for my mom not being around.
:''[Buck, Sour Cream and Jenny are in a state of shock for a beat. Jenny turns off the radio]''
:'''Jenny''': That's heavy.
:'''Steven''': I guess.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Steven... you're ungrounded from TV.

=== ''[[w:Say Uncle (Steven Universe)|Say Uncle]]'' ===
:'''Steven''': What am I doing wrong? The Gems can all summon ''their'' weapons, why can't I? ''[desperately]'' Isn't there somebody who can help me?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Oh my gosh! Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean… I literally can't believe it. How is this even possible?!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Don't worry, bro. None of this is canon. ''[pulls a real cannon out of Belly Bag]'' But this is! ''[launches his head like a cannonball with smoke trails spelling &quot;APRIL FOOLS&quot; and crashes into a ship with Lars and Sadie on it]''
:'''Lars''': Oh, no!! Our ship!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': What's going on?! Who is this stranger?
:'''Steven''': He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Grandpa!
:''[Uncle Grandpa honks his nose]''
:'''Amethyst''': &quot;Uncle… Grandpa&quot;?
:'''Pearl''': So that would make him Greg's brother… ''and'' father?
:'''Garnet''': That would explain a lot.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Pizza Steve''': Oh hey, it's just me, Pizza Steve—just the coolest and tastiest Steve who ever lived.
:'''Steven''': Hi, Pizza Steve! I'm a Steve too! Steven Universe.
:'''Pizza Steve''': ''Stee''-ven Universe... ''[pops out on top of Steven's hair]'' Come on, Uncle G. I've got two rules—no more than 40 or 50 vans, and only '''ONE''' Steve allowed!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Yeah, but this Steven is special.
:'''Mr. Gus''': Yeah. He's a Crystal Gem.
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Good mornin', Mr. Gus.
:'''Mr. Gus''': What's up, Uncle Grandpa?
:'''Steven''': Whoa, Mr. Gus! How do you know about me?
:'''Mr. Gus''': I have a comprehensive knowledge of all magical denizens of the multiverse. I know ''ALL'' about the Crystal Gems. Come on, man, check this out. I even made my own Gemsona. ''[shows art of &quot;Mr. Gusite&quot;]'' My gem is on my tail, and my weapon is a fryin' pan.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[The Gems run frantically across the plot hole many times, stop for a breather]''
:'''Garnet''': There's got to be some way out of here.
:'''Pearl''': ''[extremely panicked]'' WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! ''THIS'' IS OUR NEW ''HOME!!''
:'''Garnet''': Pearl, you're overreacting.
:'''Pearl''': &lt;big&gt;'''I'M NOT OVERREACTING!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Pearl runs around screaming until she crashes into Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, where's Steven? ''[Pizza Steve walks in dressed like Steven]'' 
:'''Pizza Steve''': Lookin' for me, Pizza Steven Universe?  ''[Pearl gasps, cowers behind Garnet]''
:'''Pearl''': That's not my baby!
:'''Amethyst''': Ah, nice! ''[eyes on Pizza Steve]''
:'''Pizza Steve''': Whoa, hold on!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Pizzaaaaaa!!'' ''[chases Pizza Steve offscreen]''
:'''Pizza Steve''': Don't eat Pizza Steve! ''[munching noises]''
:''[Amethyst walks back on, putting on Pizza Steve's sunglasses from out of her mouth]''
:'''Garnet''': Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end.
:''[She stomps, causing the plot hole to crack and shatter, leaving them back at the beach]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[after finally summoning his shield; to Uncle Grandpa]'' I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Yay.
:'''Pearl''': Protecting HIM activated Steven's powers?!
:'''Garnet''': He must really care about this stranger.
:'''Amethyst''': I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
:'''Steven''': Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've never met anyone like Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. You have to stick up for them, and listen to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.
:'''Pearl''': ''[blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry]'' Steven, you're right. ''[cries]'' HOW CAN I BE SO BLIND?! I'M SORRY!
:'''Amethyst''': I also apologize for Pearl.
:'''Garnet''': Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Uncle Grandpa''': Boy, that sure makes my eyes hurt. Now let's see here... ''[grabs a checklist revealing several other Cartoon Network protagonists]'' Dexter, Dee-dee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper Lee, Swat Kats, Flapjack, Finn, Oh! Steven! ''[checks off Steven's name]'' Now who's next? ''[Clarence's name is shown at the bottom of the list]''

=== ''Story for Steven'' ===
=== ''Shirt Club '' ===
:''[Steven rushes to the Beach House]''
:'''Steven''': Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': What is it?!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, where's the fire?
:'''Steven''': It's an emergency! You have to help me take down all the shirts and stop Buck from making more! 
:'''Pearl''': Have the shirts come to life and and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
:'''Steven''': Uh, no! They just—
:'''Amethyst''': Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
:'''Steven''': No! No, they're just—
:'''Pearl''': Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City!?!
:'''Steven''': ''NOOOOO''!!! They're— they're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
:'''Pearl''': Oh. ''[all Gems sit down]''
:'''Garnet''': Ah, we'll pass.
:'''Steven''': What?! But— but I really need your help!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
:'''Amethyst''': It's not something we can ''punch''!
:'''Garnet''': You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. ''[shades sparkle]''
:'''Amethyst/Pearl''': Good point, good point. / Oh, absolutely.
:'''Steven''': But..!
:'''Amethyst''': You figure something ''out'', Steven!
:'''Pearl''': Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
:'''Garnet''': Let your problem be known, then you can work towards an understanding.
:'''Steven''': Oh... I'll make them understand. I'll make them all understand... ''[leaves]''
:'''Amethyst''': Eh, he'll be fine.

=== ''Love Letters'' ===
:''[Steven and Connie meet Jamie sitting on a log in the beach]''
:'''Steven''': Jamie!
:'''Jamie''': Oh, hey, Connie and Steven. You guys come out here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?
:'''Connie''': Uhh, no...? We came to, uh—
:'''Jamie''': Yeah, life is crazy. One day, you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know... you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. &quot;Follow your dreams,&quot; they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day... So much rejection day after day... That's why I came back. ''[two seagulls crash into each other and fall into the sea]'' One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. ''[sobs, chuckles]'' Sorry... sometimes I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, right... Drama zone.
:'''Connie''': Oh, by the way, we have something for yo—
:'''Steven''': No, we don't!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I didn't mean to upset you.
:'''Jamie''': Then will you go out with me?
:'''Garnet''': No!
:'''Jamie''': But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.
:'''Garnet''': Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea who or what I am. ''[shades glimmer]''
:'''Jamie''': But I bloom for you like— like a... camellia... under moonlight?
:'''Garnet''': No, you don't! ''[long beat]'' You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. ''[adjusts her shades]'' You even convinced yourself. ''[smiling]'' You're a fantastic actor.
:'''Jamie''': ''[beat]'' ..What am I supposed to do now?
:'''Garnet''': Start with local theater. ''[slaps Jamie's back, then walks away. Connie and Steven walk closer to him]''
:'''Connie''': Are you okay?
:'''Jamie''': Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.
:'''Steven''': Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?
:'''Jamie''': No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.
:'''Steven''': ''[beat]'' We'll help you pick it all up.
:'''Jamie''': Thanks.

=== ''Reformed'' ===
:'''Garnet''': This is not a good choice for your form.
:'''Amethyst''': Lighten up, Garnet. Can't you take a joke?
:'''Garnet''': It's not funny. You've made yourself ridiculous.
:'''Amethyst''': &lt;big&gt;'''''RIDICULOUS?!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Keep your voice down! The creature...
:'''Amethyst''': Hrrr... You wanted me to be more like Pearl, and now I am!!
:'''Garnet''': ''[low voice]'' Pearl would've taken her regeneration seriously!
:'''Amethyst''': WHAT DO YOU CARE!?! MY FORM IS '''''MY'' BUSINESS!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's my business when it affects the strength of the team!!
:'''Amethyst''': ..So what?! I'm not strong enough?! ''[gets dragged by the Slinker]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst!
:'''Amethyst''': '''ARE YOU SAYING... &lt;big&gt;I'M ''WEAK''&lt;/big&gt;?!?!''' ''[poofs again; Steven catches her gemstone]''
:'''Steven''': Is it weird I'm getting numbed to this?

=== ''[[w:Sworn to the Sword|Sworn to the Sword]]'' ===
:'''Connie''': ''[fights off seagulls with her violin bow]'' Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Thanks for saving my jam snack. Unfortunately, it's not safe from me. ''[munches it]'' You're such a good sword fighter, Connie.
:'''Connie''': Really? I was just swinging this thing around. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'd love to learn how to use a real sword!
:'''Steven''': Oh! ''[gulps snack; starry eyes]'' Steven has an idea!
:''[back at the Beach House]''
:'''Pearl''': You want me to do ''what''?!
:'''Steven''': You should teach Connie to sword fight, she's already so good!
:'''Connie''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': But you are! Y-You helped me fight the robot floaty-thing, she took down that evil clone of herself, uh... those mean seagulls just now?
:'''Pearl''': You're awfully young to begin something like this. But I suppose I was only a few thousand years old when I began fighting alongside Rose Quartz. ''[Connie raises her hand]'' Yes, Connie?
:'''Connie''': Please! I want to learn! I mean, I don't know what'll happen in the future. But if something dangerous comes along... I don't wanna be a burden, I wanna help! I want to be there for Steven to fight by his side! The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it? ''[Pearl starts watering tears of joy]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh... okay... If that's how you feel... we should get started!
:'''Steven''': Woo-hoo! ''[runs after her laughing]''
:'''Connie''': Wait, now?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Pearl''': All right, everything begins with your stance. Remember:
:''[singing] You do it for him, and you would do it again''
:''You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.''

:''Keep your stance wide, keep your body lowered''
:''As you're moving forward, balance is the key''
:''Right foot, left foot, now go even faster''
:''And as you're moving backwards, keep your eyes on me.''

:'''Connie''': ''Keep my stance wide'' (&quot;Good.&quot;)
:''Keep my body lowered'' (&quot;Right.&quot;)
:''As I'm moving forward''
:'''Pearl''': ''Concentrate! Don't you want him to live?!''

:'''Connie''': ''Right foot, left foot''
:'''Pearl''': ''Yes, but put your whole body into it!''
:''Everything you have, everything you are''
:''You've got to give.''

:''On the battlefield, when everything is chaos''
:''And you have nothing but the way you feel, your strategy and a sword''
:''You just think about the life you'll have together after the war''
:''And then you do it for her, that's how you know you can win''
:''You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.''
&lt;hr width=25%&gt;
:''Deep down, you know you weren't built for fighting''
:''But that doesn't mean you're not prepared to try''
:''What they don't know is your real advantage''
:''When you live for someone, you're prepared to die.''

:'''Connie''': ''Deep down, I know that I'm just a human'' (&quot;True.&quot;)
:'''Both''': ''But I/you know that I/you can draw my/your sword and fight''
:'''Connie''': ''With my short existence,'' (&quot;Good.&quot;) ''I can make a difference'' (&quot;Yes, excellent!&quot;)
:''I can be there for him, I can be his knight.''

:'''Connie''': ''I can do it for him''
:'''Both''': ''You'd do it for her''
:'''Pearl''': ''Okay, now do that again'' (&quot;Yes, ma'am.&quot;)
:''You do it for her, and now you say''
:'''Connie''': ''I'll do it for him.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': ''[belly laughs]'' Wow, Garnet! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!
:'''Garnet''': Garnet, master of comedy.
:'''Amethyst''': Hehehe... Yo, Steven. ''[pretend-yells]'' '''WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE ALL SAD LIKE THAT?!?!'''
:'''Steven''': W-well... Connie is taking sword fighting lessons from Pearl, but I think it's getting a little too serious. She wants Connie to do all this dangerous stuff for me.
:'''Garnet''': That makes sense.
:'''Steven''': What do you mean?
:'''Garnet''': Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything — over logic, over consequence, over her own life.
:''[Pearl and Rose switch to Connie and Steven, respectively. She charges at the enemy before cutting to Steven's horrified face]''
:'''Amethyst''': You okay, dude?
:'''Steven''': I have to do something!! Thanks for telling me that, bye!!

=== ''Rising Tides, Crashing Skies'' ===
:'''RonaIdo''': I am now going to attempt to make contact with the mysterious, reclusive, ''[Steven comes out]'' and—ahh!
:'''Steven''': Hi, Ronaldo! Uh, hi, Peedee. Is that a camera? 
:'''Peedee''': Yeah. We're making a movie about— 
:'''RonaIdo''': It's an investigative report, shot ''[[w:cinéma vérité|camera vérité]]''.
:'''Steven''': Cool! 
:'''RonaIdo''': So... you wanna participate in a groundbreaking interview? 
:'''Steven''': Hmm. Only if ''you'' participate in a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade! ''[walks back inside]''
:''[cue Ronaldo and Steven in the Beach House]''
:'''Steven''': Ohh, that giant hand? It was a spaceship coming to get us.
:'''RonaIdo''': Us?! I knew it! Steven, we know too much! 
:'''Steven''': No, not &quot;us&quot; us. I-I meant me and the Crystal Gems.
:'''RonaIdo''': Wait. So the hand wasn't here to snatch up humans for a human zoo? Or interfere with our subsidized Beach City wind farm?! Or thaw the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent!?! 
:'''Steven''': Uh... no, I'm pretty sure it came to Beach City for me and the Crystal Gems.
:'''RonaIdo''': Oh. So, if you and the Crystal Gems weren't here, we wouldn't have been attacked by the giant hand?
:'''Steven''': Ohh-hoh-hoh! Definitely not.

=== ''Keeping It Together'' ===
:'''Pearl''': Garnet, you don't think Peridot would come looking for us, do you?
:'''Garnet''': We weren't her priority. She was sent here to do something in the Kindergarten.
:'''Pearl''': Do you think she's still going to try to reactivate it?
:'''Garnet''': Mm. If she gets it back up and running, the Injectors will turn back on.
:'''Steven''': Injectors? What're those?
:'''Pearl''': You've already seen them. ''[projects hologram from her gemstone]'' Well, you've seen them disabled. If Peridot reactivates them, they'll pick right up where they left off, planting gems in the crust of the Earth, where they'll incubate and suck the life right out of the ground. We can't let Peridot restart Gem production here. If we do... ''[sighs]'' the entire planet will become…
:'''Garnet''': Janked.
:'''Amethyst''': Garnet! ''[laughs]'' That mouth! ''[sniggers]''
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry. We'll stop her.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': We did it! Garnet?
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': So ''this'' is what Homeworld thinks of fusion.
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': We couldn't have known they would do this.
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': ''This'' is where they've been…all the ones we couldn't find… they've been here the whole time!
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': Rose couldn't have known.
:'''Garnet/Ruby''': This is punishment for the rebellion!
:'''Garnet/Sapphire''': ''[breaking down]'' It's not our fault!
:'''Steven''': Garnet!
:'''Garnet''': S-Steven.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[sliding down with Pearl]'' Yo! We're back.
:'''Pearl''': Garnet, we lost Peridot. Her fingers were too fast for us. ''[two fused hands climb up on Amethyst and grabs them]'' Um… what are these things?
:'''Garnet''': PUT THEM DOWN!
:'''Steven''': Uh!
:'''Pearl''': Wha...? ''[throws the hands away]''
:'''Garnet''': We need to poof and bubble all of them. We can't let any escape. ''[She poofs the hands as the screen turns black]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': What Homeworld did… taking the shattered parts of fallen Gems and combining them—those Gems weren't asked permission. Fusion is a choice. Those Gems weren't given a choice. It isn't right. It isn't fusion!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven looks at Garnet as he takes the clothes out the dryer into the basket]''
:'''Steven''': What's it like... being a fusion?
:'''Garnet''': You fused.
:'''Steven''': I mean, like, all the time. Do you forget who you used to be?
:'''Garnet''': You forget you were ever alone. You know when you fuse, you don't feel like two people. You feel like one being. And your old names might as well be names for your left arm, and your right.
:'''Steven''': When you split up, is it like you disappear?
:'''Garnet''': I embody my— I mean, Ruby and Sapphire's love. I always exist in them, even if I split apart. But the strength of that love keeps me together, so I can stay Garnet for a very long time.
:'''Steven''': That's why you're so great!
:'''Garnet''': ''[smiles]'' Ha. ''[Steven starts laughing, with a light blue colored sock being blown away]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, no! ''[Garnet catches it]''
:'''Garnet''': Don't wanna break up a pair.
:'''Steven''': ''[holds peach colored sock]'' Yeah, you're right. ''[Garnet folds socks into basket]'' They belong together.

=== ''We Need to Talk'' ===
:''[Greg re-watches Pearl and Rose's fusion dance, practices and falls down]''
:'''Greg''': Ah, geez! How'd she get her legs to do that? ''[groans]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hey! ''[looks at face-to-face with Garnet]'' Are you dead?
:'''Greg''': Wha? Uh, no, no. I'm alive.
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, cool! ''[jumps over Greg, runs to the TV]'' It's us from before!
:'''Greg''': Yeah, I was just... trying to get my head around this fusion dance.
:'''Amethyst''': A fusion dance ain't about your head! ''[laughs out loud]''
:'''Greg''': Wait... you guys are Gems. You gotta help me out here. I need to be able to fuse with Rose!
:'''Garnet''': First, you need a gem at the core of your being. Then you need a body that can turn into light. Then you need the partner who you trust with that light.
:'''Greg''': Metaphorically?
:'''Garnet''': Literally.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[whispers]'' Shh! Come on! I still wanna see him try!
:'''Greg''': Ugh, so it's true. I really can't do it. ''[touches his face]'' I'm kidding myself with this! I'm never gonna be a Gem... ''[Garnet looks down and picks up a twig]''
:'''Garnet''': Amethyst... give us some privacy! ''[throws it far away]''
:'''Amethyst''': YEAH!! ''[scampers after it]''
:'''Garnet''': Let me tell you something, Mr. Universe. I think you can do it, but it won't work if you dance like Pearl. You have to dance like you. You have to fuse ''your'' way. Get open. Get honest. Invent yourselves together. ''[lowers her shades and winks left of her three eyes]'' That's fusion.
:'''Greg''': EYE—think I get it.

=== ''Chille Tid'' ===
:'''Steven''': &quot;Sleep is a curse, and yet a curse I need to live&quot;—Steven Universe.
----
:'''Garnet''': Let me show you how it's done. ''(She falls over, stiff as a board)''
:'''Pearl''': That's pretty convincing.
----
:'''Steven''': Lapis!
:'''Lapiz Lazuli''': No. I'm ''not'' Lapis anymore. We're Malachite now.

=== ''[[w:Cry for Help (Steven Universe)|Cry for Help]]'' ===
:'''Garnet''': It's as I feared.
:''[The Communication Hub is glowing and shooting a beam of light towards the sky]''
:'''Pearl''': It looks like Peridot somehow repaired the Communication Hub. Well, at least some of it.
:'''Steven''': So... we just gotta wreck it up again, right? (''to Amethyst'') You guys should form Sugilite!
:'''Amethyst''': (''smiling a bit'') Yeah... Well, it's up to Garnet, I guess. (''smiling widely, to Garnet'') What do you say? ''[Pearl looks scared in the background]'' Shall we mash it up?...
:'''Garnet''': No.
:'''Amethyst''': But, don't we need to be huge like last time?
:'''Garnet''': Last time was a disaster. Last time we fused, Sugilite went berserk. It's because of her that we can't even warp here anymore. (''takes off her visor'') I can be brash, you can be reckless. And we can both get carried away. So, for the time being, ''[She puts her visor back on and Amethyst's reflection can be seen in them]'' Sugilite is benched. What we need now is to be careful. ''[Steven gasps]'' It's you and me, Pearl. Let's fuse. ''[Pearl looks astonished as she begins to tear up]'' Don't cry, Pearl. ''[Pearl tries to not cry and quivers as she strongly breathes in through her nose, sniffling thickly]'' Come on, let's do this.
:'''Pearl''': I'm right behind you. (''sniffling'')
:'''Steven''': (''running towards them'') Woo-hoo! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! *sits to the left of Lion* (''Amethyst walks over'')
:'''Garnet''': (''gemstones glow'') Ready.
:'''Pearl''': (''grunts; stretches'') Hang on, it's been such a long time.
----
:'''Sardonyx''': Gooooood evening, everybody! (''struts over to Lion, Steven, and Amethyst and does a twirl'') This is the lovely Sardonyx! Coming to you ''a-live'' from the soon-to-be-former Communication Hub! How are y'all doin' tonight?
:'''Amethyst''': (''sarcastically'')  Great...
:'''Steven''': (''gasps'') Giant woman!
----
:'''Amethyst''': ''Maybe you're better off with her / I think she's better for you / I forgot how great it felt to be us / Guess I got carried away. / I had to use you to make me feel strong / But I don't care about that now / I see a tower built out of my mistakes / And it all comes crashing down. / Is there something I can doo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo / Can I make it up to you?''
----
:'''Amethyst''': Stop!
:'''Pearl''': Is something the matter, Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You... you shouldn't.
:'''Steven''': Pearl, we saw you.
:'''Pearl''': (''shocked'') What?
:'''Steven''': You need to tell Garnet it was you!
:'''Garnet''': I don't understand.
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry. It's just... so much fun being Sardonyx with you.
:'''Garnet''': ''[drops Pearl to the ground]'' ''That's'' why I couldn't see us finding Peridot.
:'''Pearl''': Wait, let me explain!
:'''Garnet''': You've been fixing the hub!
:'''Pearl''': It really was Peridot! The first time.
:'''Garnet''': You ''tricked'' me!
:'''Pearl''': No! No, no, no, no! We just needed a reason to fuse! I just wanted to share a few more victories with you!
:'''Garnet''': Those weren't ''victories''!
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, Garnet! You know, we're so much weaker than you! Fusing with you is like our one chance to feel... ''stronger''!
:'''Garnet''': Don't defend her! Peridot is out there somewhere and Pearl's been distracting us with... ''nothing''!
:'''Pearl''': Garnet...
:'''Garnet''': ''[angrily points at her]'' That's enough! ''[to Amethyst]'' Amethyst, fuse with me!
:'''Amethyst''': But-!
:'''Garnet''': (''clenching her fist'') Let's just get this over with.

=== ''Keystone Motel'' ===
:'''Steven''': Pearl! Where have you been?!
:'''Pearl''': Looking for Peridot… For a few days straight. Steven, I know I might have… disappointed all of you. I know Garnet's very upset with me. But I'm going to prove to her that she can trust me again. ''[Garnet walks in through the front door]'' Oh! Garnet! I was just looking for Peridot! She's bound to be somewhere, right? Any new ideas? ''[Garnet says nothing and walks past her]'' I'm sorry
----
:'''Garnet''': ''[agitated, panting]'' Calm down... I don't feel like forgiving Pearl!... You don't understand, you must... If you're not going to listen, then you can just GO! ''[splits into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': ''[calmly]'' We must move past this, Ruby.
:'''Ruby''': ''[furiously]'' She ''lied'' to us so we'd form Sardonyx! She ''tricked'' us! Don't you feel used?!
:'''Sapphire''': You're choosing to take it personally.
:'''Ruby''': IT'S ''FUSION'', SAPPHIRE! WHAT'S MORE PERSONAL TO US THAN ''FUSION?!''
:'''Sapphire''': I know you're still upset...
:'''Ruby''': Oh, so it's just me?!
:'''Sapphire''': Of course not. Can't you see I'm completely engulfed with rage?
:'''Ruby''': Well, it doesn't feel like it!
:'''Sapphire''': The sooner we forgive Pearl, the better it will be for us all.
:'''Ruby''': YOU'RE NOT AS ABOVE THIS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE! 
----
:'''Sapphire''': ''[about Ruby, while she shakes the table]'' This will pass. She'll eventually just burn herself out.
:'''Ruby''':  ''[angrily]'' THAT'S WHAT ''YOU'' THINK! '''I AM AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY!''' ''[flips the table]''
:''[while Greg talks to Steven, arguing with each other simultaneously]''
:'''Ruby''': You don't know me!
:'''Sapphire''': How could I possibly not know you? We always fuse! We always fuse, what are you even going on about fusion?
:'''Ruby''': Look at you! ''[laughing]'' You don't even know yourself! Ha! 
:'''Sapphire''': So don't act so ridiculous. 
:'''Ruby''': ''I'm'' ridiculous?!
:'''Sapphire''': Yes, yes.
----
:'''Steven''': I was so happy when Garnet said she wanted to go on this trip with me and Dad! Home's been awful! Here's been awful! I thought you wanted to have a fun time, but everyone's been acting awful too! It... it just came with us! I don't understand! Is it... is it me?
:'''Ruby''': ...No! Steven, it's all us!
:'''Sapphire''': But we made him feel like it was his fault... I keep looking into the future, when all of this has already been solved, as if it doesn't matter how you feel in the present! ''[starting to cry]'' No wonder you think I don't care...!
:'''Ruby''': Sapphire... No, nonononono! This is all my fault, I... I didn't want to look for a solution, I... I just wanted to be mad! You're right! You're always right! I was being stupid!
:'''Sapphire''': I don't think you're stupid!
:'''Ruby''': I'm... sorry. ''[gently brushes Sapphire's hair aside, revealing her sad eye]''
:'''Sapphire''': You honestly think I'm not upset about what happened? I was just... trying to do the right thing.
:'''Ruby''': I know... ''[starts smiling]'' You know what's nice about being split up?
:'''Sapphire''': What?
:'''Ruby''': I get to look at you...
:'''Sapphire''': ''[pushes her off, laughing]'' Be serious!
:'''Ruby''': ''[hugs Sapphire]'' There's my Laughy Sapphy!
:'''Sapphire''': Shh! You're embarrassing me in front of Steven! ''[cut to Steven, feeling awkward at the scene]''

=== ''Historical Friction'' ===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Pearl! ''[sees a desolate Pearl sitting on the couch, looking at the ceiling]'' Pearl?
:'''Pearl''': ''[jumps up]'' Steven! You're back!
:'''Steven''': Yeah... ''[sits down]'' Show business is rough.
:'''Pearl''': Is there something I can help you with?
:'''Steven''': Not unless you can make William Dewey interesting.
:'''Pearl''': How do ''you'' know William Dewey?
:'''Steven''': I'm gonna be him in this play! But he's totally boring! He's perfect and he never makes mistakes.
:'''Pearl''': ''[sigh]'' Wish I could say the same for myself.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nobody's like that! Everybody gets stuff wrong, and then you have to keep going and it's hard, which is why it's great when you never stop trying!
:'''Pearl''': ..When did you get so smart?

=== ''Friend Ship'' ===
:''[Steven and the Gems enter a room in the ship. Peridot appears on a projected screen]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughs]'' You Gems really are as dull as dirt!
:'''Pearl''': You're the dull one if you thing you can fly this wreck!
:'''Peridot''': ''[pauses]'' What? Can you speak louder? Some of these communicators are gunked up.
:'''Steven''': ''[cleans off a microphone, speaks into it]'' Pearl says ''you're'' the dull one if you think you can fly this wreck!
:'''Peridot''': ''[waits for Steven's response to come through] [laughs]'' Fly? I'm not using this vessel to fly. I'm using it to '''''TRAP YOU!''''' ''[a door closes, trapping Steven and the Gems in the room]'' Isn't this nice? No more Crystal Gems running around, messing with my plans, destroying my things. Looks like I've got you just where I want you. How does it feel to be so easily outsmarted, you '''''CLODS?!'''''
:'''Pearl''': No...
:'''Amethyst''': ''[speaks into the microphone]'' Hey, uh, this is Amethyst. I don't appreciate being called a clod, you clo-
:'''Peridot''': Enough talk! Prepare yourselves for annihilation! ''[dramatically hits a button]'' Hiyah! ''[nothing happens, hits it again]'' Hiyah!
:''[the room's laser cannons activate and take aim at Steven and the Gems]''
:'''Peridot''': It works! Yes! '''''DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIIIIE!'''''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Pearl, stop. That isn't helping.
:'''Pearl''': I have to do something. I can't believe I walked us right into Peridot's trap. This is all my… ''[Peridot's hologram disappears as the ground starts to shake]'' fault?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''[thru screen]'' Garnet… I'm sorry!
:'''Amethyst''': Wait a sec!
:'''Pearl''': Things weren't supposed to turn out this way... ''[inside, Garnet punches the wall again]''
:'''Garnet''': We'll get outta here somehow.
:'''Pearl''': ''[sighs]'' That's not what I mean! I really wanted to catch Peridot to make up for what I did... ''[Garnet withdraws her gauntlets]'' I wanted to prove to you that... that everything could go back to normal...
:'''Garnet''': Catching Peridot won't make things go back to normal. ''[thru screen]'' This isn't about Peridot.
:'''Amethyst''': Hey... they're actually talking!
:'''Steven''': Now they can finally work things out!
:''[soon, the gears start to activate and turn and start closing into the trapped two]''
:'''Amethyst''': Not if they get crushed!
:''[both Garnet and Pearl push their unflinching sides]''
:'''Pearl''': Please! Tell me! How can I make you forgive me?!
:'''Garnet''': You can't! You lied to me! You need to learn that there are consequences to your actions!
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry! I... I couldn't help myself!
:'''Garnet''': ''[kicks opposite side of wall next to Pearl]'' I don't want to hear your excuses!
:'''Pearl''': But it's true! No matter how hard I try to be strong like you, I'm just a Pearl. I'm useless on my own. ''[cries]'' I need someone to tell me what to do.
:''[the walls suddenly stop moving; Both Amethyst and Steven pull her whip on its gears in its place. Garnet and Pearl pause for a beat]''
:'''Pearl''': When we fuse, I can feel what it's like to be you. Confident and secure, and complete. You're perfect. You're the perfect relationship. You're always together, I just... I wanted to be a part of that.
:'''Garnet''': You're wrong! I'm not as strong as you think. I fell apart over this. Ruby and Sapphire were in turmoil over how you deceived me. ''[thru screen]'' I came undone.
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, that really happened?
:'''Steven''': ''[nods]'' Hm.
:'''Garnet''': It's not easy being in control. I have weaknesses too, but I choose not to let them consume me. I struggle to stay strong because I know the impact I have on everyone. Please understand, Pearl. ''[thru screen]'' You have an impact too. ''[inside]'' There are times when I look up to you for strength. You are your ''own'' gem. You control your destiny. Not me, not Rose, not Steven. But you must choose to be strong, so we can move forward. So I can trust you again.
:'''Pearl''': I understand. I can't give up anymore!
:'''Garnet''': Good.

=== ''Nightmare Hospital'' ===
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': ''[sighs]'' I had a rough day at work and I'm not in the mood for any more surprises.
:'''Connie''': Whatsyjf happened at work?
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': There was a really strange case at the hospital today, straight out of a ''nightmare''. ''[beat]'' Oh, don't worry, the rules of doctor-patient confidentiality keep me from sharing the graphic details, but... Hang on a moment. When did we get a coat rack?
:'''Connie''': Oh, no...
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': A ''SWORD''?! Connie, where did you get this?!
:'''Steven''': I-it's—
:'''Connie''': I found it! I just... found it outside and I wanted to show it to Steven.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': How could you possibly think this is okay?!
:'''Connie''': It's—
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Do you know how many children I see everyday in the hospital who've cut their faces off playing with swords?!
:'''Connie''': I—
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': NONE!! Because they all have parents who love them, and who don't let them play around with deadly weapons like some kind of gang member! No playing with swords, under any circumstances! ''[her cell phone rings, answers it]'' This is Dr. Maheswaran. Yes, calm down, Stromberg. Another one?
:'''Steven''': ''[to Connie]'' Is she gonna give it back? 
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': All right, I'll-I'll be right there. ''[zips sword in duffle bag]'' I have to go to the hospital. I'll have a talk with your father to calculate just how grounded you are. ''[leaves, comes back]'' And we're using the abacus! ''[leaves again]''
:'''Connie''': I ''hate'' that abacus. Steven, I'm so sorry. She took your mother's sword!
:'''Steven''': Maybe we can get her to change her mind?
:'''Connie''': She never ''ever'' changes her mind. We've got to get that sword back ourselves.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Connie''': Mom... I'm really sorry about lying to you. It started off as a tiny secret, and then I felt like if I didn't hide it, you wouldn't let me see Steven ever again.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Is that how you feel? Are we too controlling?
:'''Connie''': ..Maybe.
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': I just wanted to be a good mother. I... I just wanted to protect you.
:'''Connie''': I can protect myself now! ''[Dr. Maheswaran pauses for a long beat, sighs]''
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': Okay. ''[Connie winces]'' We'll... pull back on the rules, and I'll try to keep an open mind about ''[Connie's lenses]'' this, and ''[Lion]'' that, and... him. ''[Steven stays frightened]'' It scares me that you can't talk to me. I need to know what's happening in your life. I... I need to step in when you're in over your head. Would you just promise me you'll stop all this lying?
:'''Connie''': ''[beat]'' That's a rule. ''[they embrace each other]''
:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': I love you, honey.
:'''Connie''': I love you too, Mom.

=== ''Sadie's Song'' ===
:'''Sadie''': Please, Mom. Don't make me do this.
:'''Barb''': Make you? You said you wanted to sing.
:'''Sadie''': Yeah! I did! I did! I did, I did. Just like I say lots of things like, &quot;Hey, Mom. Swimming looks fun&quot;, then bam! Suddenly, I'm anchoring a 400 meter relay for the Beach City Seals. &quot;Hey, Mom. I thought signing up for softball would be nice.&quot; 6 birthdays later, I'm still getting nothing but kneepads and batting helmets. &quot;Hey, Mom. I wanna sing at this year's Beachapalooza&quot;, and what do I get? THIS! I just thought, for once, I get to do things my way, but you came in and took over everything like you always do.
:'''Barb''': I just wanted everyone to know how talented my daughter is.
:'''Sadie''': THIS is not your daughter.
:'''Barb''': ''[stunned]'' I'm sorry.

=== ''Catch and Release'' ===
:'''Steven''': ''[getting padded by Peridot]'' Why are you acting like this?!
:'''Peridot''': You smashed me into a limbless cloud, you trapped me in your bubble dungeon, and you called me... ''cute''! ''[Steven evades her punch, face-flat on the floor]''
:'''Steven''': I didn't poof you! I freed you! ''[Peridot turns back]''
:'''Peridot''': Why would you make such a miscalculation?
:'''Steven''': Back at the warp pad, what were you trying to say? Why do we need you? What do you know?
:'''Peridot''': What do I know? Everything there is to know about the Cluster, you pebble!
:'''Steven''': Cluster? Wait, pebble?
:'''Peridot''': My mission. The reason why I'm on this sad rock in the first place! I was to check progress on the Cluster! Just in and out, before it hatches. I wasn't supposed to get stuck here! But now it's going to emerge and nothing can stop it, and we'll all be shattered!!
:'''Steven''': Okay, okay, wait, slow down. Now, from the top—emerging, hatching, Clusters?
:'''Peridot''': You wanna know?
:'''Steven''': Yes.
:'''Peridot''': You ''really'' wanna know?
:'''Steven''': Yes?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[in bathroom]'' Hmm... Seems I've discovered some sort of archaic... think chamber. Roomy, with a fresh hint of Earth citrus. ''[lifts toilet seat]'' A perfect crossroads for my escape.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[fiddling the bathroom doorknob]'' It's locked.
:'''Garnet''': Peridot, open the door! ''[flushing sounds are heard]''
:'''Amethyst''': Uh, if you're trying to flush yourself down the toilet, it ''won't'' work. ''[cut to Peridot spinning inside the toilet bowl]'' Trust me, I've tried.
:'''Pearl''': How did she get out?! We bubbled her!
:'''Amethyst''': Maybe we needed a bigger bubble.
:'''Garnet''': My bubbles are fine.
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating nervously]'' I did it.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' Steven, why would you do such a thing?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I'm tired of playing these games. If we can't fight her, fine. We'll talk. Peridot!
:'''Peridot''': ''[slips off the sink]'' Whoa!
:'''Garnet''': All right, no more fighting. Let's just have a civil conversation.
:'''Peridot''': As if I'd negotiate with you, filthy war machine!
:'''Garnet''': ''[summons gauntlets]'' Okay, let's kick her butt.
:'''Steven''': Wait!
:'''Peridot''': Yeah! Destroy me again! ''[hangs on bath curtain pole with a plunger]'' And have fun trying to talk to me when I'm in a ''bubble''! ''[almost slips off]''
:'''Pearl''': I really hate to say it, but unfortunately if she has information, she's more valuable to us like… this.
:'''Garnet''': This is going to be tricky. ''[hear knobs turning, water splashing]''
:'''Peridot''': H-h-hot hot hot!!
:'''Steven''': You have to turn the knob the other way for cold! ''[later in the kitchen with the Gems]'' Wait, so we're just gonna let her live in my bathroom?
:'''Pearl''': Well, yes. What other option do we have? Keep her outside on a leash?

=== ''When It Rains'' ===
:'''Garnet''': ''[banging on the bathroom door]'' Open the door, Peridot! If this &quot;Cluster&quot; is putting us in danger, you need to tell us what it is so we can stop it!
:'''Peridot''': No! I hate you! I'm not telling you anything about the Cluster!
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, come on. Is it like a big, hunk of granola?
:'''Peridot''': What's granola? 
:'''Pearl''': I'm sure it's not granola. Now, Peridot, I'm sure we can reach some sort of agreement. Perhaps a trade is in order?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, sure. Why don't you just give me back my leg enhancements and my arm attachments with my screen and my log and all my information. Oh, wait, YOU DESTROYED THEM! So, no, I don't think we can reach some sort of agreement!
:'''Steven''': ''[flushing the toilet]'' Okay, Peridot, you can turn around now. ''[exits the bathroom, clears throat]'' Sorry for interrupting your interrogation.
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry about it, Steven.
:'''Pearl''': I swear, Peridot is gonna crack any second now.
:'''Peridot''': I'll ''never'' crack for the likes of you, you… Crystal Clods! ''[laughs]''
:'''Pearl''': ''[angrily]'' Ooh, I got your clods right here, you little…!
:'''Garnet''': ''[puts her hand on her shoulder]'' Hold on, Pearl. If she's not gonna be of any help, let's investigate this thing on our own.
:'''Steven''': I'll come with you.
:'''Garnet''': Sorry, Steven. We're gonna need you to stay here and keep an eye on our…''guest.''
:'''Steven''': Really?
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah. Make sure she doesn't try anything.
:'''Pearl''': Don't worry. She's harmless without her limb enhancers.
:'''Peridot''': I'M NOT HARMLESS!
:'''Pearl''': Oh, hush up!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': These are the early attempts at artificial fusion.
:'''Steven''': That's a lot of gem shards.
:'''Peridot''': We were growing them here at this very site. But these were just prototypes for the final product, a singular giant artificial fusion, comprised of millions of gem shards…the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, you're saying there's a giant mutant gem the size of the Earth under us right now?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. When it forms, it'll be much, much bigger than the Earth. Right now, it lies dormant, incubating in the Earth's core. But when it emerges and takes its physical form, it will destroy the planet. The prototypes are already emerging. The Cluster is next. If we can't get off this planet, we've got to stop the Cluster! I thought it'd be impossible, but now we have a chance.
:'''Steven''': What is it?
:'''Peridot''': ''[grabs Steven's shoulders and grins malevolently]'' It's you, Steven! ''[she and Steven climb out of the control room]'' Now that you're filled in, we can get to work!
:'''Steven''': Uhh, how am I supposed to help?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you have all the information that we need about Earth and its erratic behavior. Put that together with my expansive knowledge of the Cluster and we just might be able to stop it!
:'''Steven''': No, Peridot, I don't think you get it! Just because I know how clouds work doesn't mean I know how to stop a giant mutant in the center of the earth! Besides, the only reason that I know anything about clouds and rain is because my dad told me.
:'''Peridot''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': I used to be really scared of thunderstorms, just like you. Then Dad explained how rain and all that stuff works, then I wasn't scared of rain anymore.
:'''Peridot''': Well, I'm sure you have other knowledge about how this planet works.
:'''Steven''': Sure, but none of it's going to help us. If we want to stop this Cluster thing, we'll need help from the Crystal Gems.
:'''Peridot''': I said I don't need them! Let's just warp me back to the bathroom, or whatever you call it, and we'll take care of this. If it looks really bad, then we can just ask this &quot;dad&quot; for help, right?

=== ''Back to the Barn'' ===
:'''Peridot''': What is that?!
:'''Steven''': ''[speaking with the Cluster puppet]'' It's the Cluster.
:'''Peridot''': It does not look like that. But it ''is'' real, and it can activate at any moment!
:'''Amethyst''': What a cluster.
:'''Garnet''': That abomination must be stopped.
:'''Pearl''': But how? We'll need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth, it'll have to-
:'''Peridot''': ''[swats at Pearl, interrupting her]'' Hey! I wasn't finished speaking! What we ''need'' is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': All right. What we have here in the barn should be adequate enough for us to get started. First, I recommend we organize the component types, and assemble a rough blueprint based off what we have available. Sorry, Steven. It's a lovely drawing, but it won't look like this. ''[Steven stops spinning on the swivel chair, now frowning]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[examines piece of chalk]'' Hmm... Good. Yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.
:'''Pearl''': ..Uh, what?
:'''Peridot''': Hm? ''[beat]'' Umm, that will be all? ''[claps to her for a beat, whispers to Steven]'' How do you get her to leave?
:'''Pearl''': Excuse me, I am not leaving.
:'''Steven''': Yeah! She's gotta stay here to help us build the drill thing, right?
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughs]'' No, no, you're confused. A Pearl can't build a thing like this.
:'''Steven''': Why not?
:'''Peridot''': Because Pearls aren't ''for'' this! They're... for standing around, an-and looking nice, and uh... holding your stuff for you. Right?
:'''Pearl''': That's enough! If we're going to work together, you're going to have to listen to me.
:'''Peridot''': Listen to you? ''[starts laughing, turns to Steven]'' Did you teach her to talk like this?
:'''Steven''': What are you talking about?
:'''Peridot''': She's a Pearl. She's a made-to-order servant just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld.
:'''Steven''': Wait... There's hundreds of Pearls?!
:'''Pearl''': ''[nervous]'' Well... yes, but—
:'''Peridot''': ''[holding Pearl's sash]'' And she looks like a fancy one, too. ''[Pearl gasps]''
:'''Steven''': Hundreds of Pearls...
:'''Peridot''': So, who do you belong to anyway?
:'''Pearl''': ''[grabs her sash away from her]'' Nobody!!
:'''Peridot''': Then... what are you for? ''[Pearl recoils back]'' Well, you can belong to me for now. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl? What would they say back home?
:'''Pearl''': Now listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you've forgotten, you're on ''our'' turf now! And I didn't fight a thousand-year war for this planet's independence to take orders from the likes of ''you''!!
:'''Peridot''': Excuse me? I am a natural technician and a certified Kindergartener. I was made for this! You were made to take orders, not to give them!
:'''Steven''': Whoa, whoa, hang on, guys! Now, we can all agree that you are both good at building things, so... can't you just try listening to each other?
:'''Both''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NO!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Pearl''': I'm as good at building things as you! Better, even!
:'''Peridot''': Hah! Name one thing you can engineer better! Go on!
:'''Steven''': ''[whispers]'' Robots.
:'''Both''': Hm?
:'''Steven''': You should build robots. Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race... with prizes. Giant robo-prizes!
:'''Pearl''': You mean like a competition?
:'''Steven''': Yeah! To see who's better at building stuff!
:'''Peridot''': What are these robots you speak of? 
:'''Steven''': They're like those funky marble guys you were sending—only bigger, and you can ride them! ''[makes robot noises]''
:'''Peridot''': Hah! Building one of these robots will be easy!
:'''Pearl''': Well, I can build one faster!
:'''Peridot''': That's what you think!

=== ''Too Far'' ===
:'''Peridot''': ''[talking into a recorder]'' Log date 7–1-1-2. It's the third rotation of the Earth since commencements of a... collaborative approach to stopping the Cluster.
:'''Pearl''': I've finished drawing up the blueprints for the drill head. Peridot, if you could come take a look at this?
:'''Peridot''': Remind me again why I should listen to you? Oh, right. ''[plays recorder]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder] &quot;The Pearl here has developed an aptitude for engineering that I begrudgingly respect. But that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing... crying... singing while crying.&quot; [Amethyst laughs]''
:'''Pearl''': ''[to Steven] [annoyed]'' Why did you give her that?
:'''Steven''': Well, we did destroy all her stuff. I thought it might help make her feel a little better.
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder] &quot;Clod!&quot; [fast-forwards] &quot;Mighty clod!&quot; [fast-forwards] &quot;Running out of ways to say clod.&quot;''
:'''Garnet''': All right. I chased away those cows. Now let's get to work.
:'''Peridot''': ''[to Garnet] [clears throat]'' Before we begin, would you mind unfusing? It's making me incredibly uncomfortable.
:''[beat as Steven, Amethyst and Pearl nervously look to Garnet. The scene then cuts to Garnet leashing Peridot to a fence.]
:'''Peridot''': ''[as Garnet walks away]'' What?! What'd I say?! 
:'''Steven''': Did we really have to do that?
:'''Garnet''': Her having free reign of the place made ''me'' incredibly uncomfortable.
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:''[Steven and Amethyst walk up to a leashed Peridot growling over a microwave]''
:'''Peridot''': I just need some sort of leverage optimizer...
:'''Amethyst''': Leverage optimizer?
:'''Peridot''': That's what I said.
:'''Amethyst''': Ohhh! Ha! You mean you want a screwdriver? ''[laughing]''
:'''Peridot''': Do you have one or not?
:'''Steven''': Uh... ''[hands a screwdriver]'' Why don't you just use this one?
:'''Peridot''': Because it was outside my radius.
:'''Amethyst''': He-hey... Hey, Peridot... ''[points to her nose]'' What do you call this?
:'''Peridot''': A scent sponge.
:'''Steven''': Huh? ''[Amethyst laughs some more]''
:'''Amethyst''': Okay... ''[opens her eye]'' what's this?
:'''Peridot''': Vision sphere.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, that's—
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, wait, Steven! Peridot... ''[waves her fingers]'' these?
:'''Peridot''': ''[getting annoyed]'' Touch stumps.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[points to her foot]'' This?!
:'''Peridot''': Gravity connectors.
:'''Amethyst''': ''This''?!
:'''Peridot''': '''THAT'S YOUR BUTT!!!''' ''[Steven and Amethyst laugh out loud]''
:'''Steven''': Oh, man, Peridot, you're killing me!
:'''Peridot''': I am not! That would violate our truce agreement!
:'''Amethyst''': No, no, no! You're funny!
:'''Peridot''': Funny?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': The strangest thing is, Amethyst... you think you have to listen to them! ''[laughs]'' You are the one they should put you in charge!
:'''Amethyst''': Ha! That's your best joke yet.
:'''Peridot''': No, really. Pearl is a Pearl. Garnet is a fusion. I don't even know what ''he's'' supposed to be.
:'''Steven''': Hey!
:'''Peridot''': You're the only Crystal Gem that's actually a Gem! 
:'''Amethyst''': Uh... ''[laughs nervously]'' What?
:'''Peridot''': You outrank everyone on your team. They should be listening to you. You're a strong, singular, fully-functional soldier, despite the fact that you're defective.
:'''Amethyst''': ..Defective?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. You're small.
:'''Amethyst''': So?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you're not supposed to be! Hold on, wait, wait. Let me guess. ''[points to Amethyst's hole]'' This— ''[runs to hole]'' This is the hole you came out of. Too small, too low, the exit marks look about 500 years newer than every other hole. Hmm... this place must have been empty when you came out. No wonder you have no idea what you're supposed to look like!
:'''Steven''': Peridot... ''[Amethyst holds Steven on the shoulder]''
:'''Amethyst''': What was I supposed to look like?
:'''Peridot''': Well, you're a quartz. They're huge, loyal soldiers. You should be twice your size. Broad shouldered, intimidating, but you simply stayed in the ground too long.
:'''Amethyst''': Are you saying I'm wrong?!
:'''Peridot''': ''[laughing]'' Gemetically speaking, yes. When you think about it it's also... ''[snickers]'' funny! ''[Amethyst feels more enraged]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Peridot''': Hey, soldier. Maybe you can help me get this hunk of drill off.
:''[Amethyst violently slashes the drill head off of an Injector with her whip]''
:'''Peridot''': See? Look at that! You can do everything a normal quartz can do. Let's head back and shove this thing in Pearl's face!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst? Are you okay?
:'''Amethyst''': Don't worry about it.
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Pearl''': ''WE LEAVE FOR ONE SECOND AND EVERYTHING GOES OFF THE RAILS!''
:'''Garnet''': I blame the cows.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[thru recorder]'' &quot;''Log date 7-1-1-2. This entire planet is backwards. There hasn't been one instance of correct behavior exhibited by anyone of these Crystal Gems. I have concluded that they are all defective. But I am no better. I failed my mission and I'm now working with the enemy. And I can't even get that right. I have apparently &quot;hurt&quot; Amethyst's &quot;feelings&quot;, which was not my intent. If I damaged my standing with the best Gem here, then I've made a serious mistake. I'm still learning. I hope you understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. [pause] Peridot, Facet 5, end log.''&quot;

=== ''The Answer'' ===
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Sapphire had been called to Earth by Blue Diamond, specifically to share her vision of the future.
:'''Sapphire''': ''[enters her Diamond's palanquin]'' My Diamond, I have arrived.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond spoke…
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Sapphire, tell me what will happen here.
:'''Sapphire''': I foresee the rebels attacking the Cloud Arena. Before they are cornered, they will destroy the physical forms of seven gems, including two of my Ruby guards, and myself. Immediately after my form is destroyed, the rebels will be captured. The rebellion ends here.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Thank you, Sapphire.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond said, relieved.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': That's all I needed to know.
:'''Sapphire''': I look forward to speaking with you again once I reform back on Homeworld.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Rose''': ''[off-screen]'' Blue Diamond, leave this planet! This colony will ''not'' be completed!
:'''Ruby Guard''': It's the rebels!
:'''Various Gems''': Who are you?! Show yourselves!
:'''Rose''': ''[floating from above Pearl]'' We…
:'''Rose &amp; Pearl''': …are the Crystal Gems!
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The attack was right on schedule.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Sapphire''': Thank you, Ruby. You did your best.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Ruby suddenly realized what Sapphire meant. She'd known that Ruby would fail. Sapphire had accepted it. But Ruby… Ruby could not.
:'''Ruby''': ''NO!!'' ''[charges at Sapphire, pushing her out of the way of Pearl's attack, causing them to spin into the air and accidentally fuse into Garnet for the first time]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' The furious crowd closed in around Ruby and Sapphire. They'd never seen fusion of two different types of gems.
:'''Various Gems''': Unbelievable! Disgusting! This is unheard of!
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Blue Diamond's voice cut through the crowd.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': The rebels have fled. Sapphire, this is ''not'' the scenario you described.
:'''Sapphire''': This is… not what I saw! I don't know what happened, I…
:'''Ruby''': No! It was me!
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': Clearly.
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' Said Blue Diamond.
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': How dare you fuse with a member of my court?
:'''Ruby''': Forgive me, I…
:'''Blue Diamond (Garnet)''': You will be broken for this!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Both''': ''Where did we go, what did we do?''
:''I think we made something entirely new''
:''And it wasn't quite me and it wasn't quite you''
:''I think it was someone entirely new.''

:'''Ruby''': ''Oh, um''
:''Well, I just can't stop thinking''
:'''Sapphire''': ''So, um''
:''Did you say I was different?''

:'''Ruby''': ''And you hadn't before''
:'''Sapphire''': ''Of course not''
:''When would I have ever?''
:'''Ruby''': ''I'm so sorry''
:'''Sapphire''': ''No, no, don't be''
:'''Ruby''': ''And now you're here forever!''

:'''Sapphire''': ''What about you?''
:'''Ruby''': ''What about me?''
:'''Sapphire''': ''Well, you're here too''
:''We're here together.''

:''Mm-m-m-m-mm''
:'''Both''': ''Mm-m-m-m-mm, hm-m-m-m-m''
:''Mm-m-m-m-mm''
:''Mm-m-m-m-mm...''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[narrating]'' I was back. I was someone and I didn't know who. But I felt I was getting the hang of my strange new form. ''[beat]'' And then I fell.
:'''Past Garnet''': Ahh! ''[tumbling down a hill and crashes in bushes]'' Ouch... ''[a sword is pointed to her face]'' Aahh! Don't hurt her! Don't hurt... me?
:''[Pan up to see Pearl as the sword bearer]''
:'''Pearl''': It's you... the fusion.
:'''Past Garnet''': We didn't mean to fuse! Well... well, we did this time. We'll unfuse! We-we'll... w-we'll... ''[Rose Quartz comes by]''
:'''Rose''': No, no, please. I'm glad to see you again.
:'''Garnet''': And there they were - Rose Quartz, the leader of the rebellion and her terrifying renegade Pearl.
:'''Past Garnet''': I don't... upset you?
:'''Rose''': Who cares about how I feel? How ''you'' feel is bound to be much more interesting.
:'''Past Garnet''': How I feel? I-I feel... uh, lost... and scared... a-and happy. W-Why am I so sure that I'd rather be this than everything I was supposed to be, and that I'd rather do this than everything I was supposed to do? ''[Rose chuckles and smiles]''
:'''Rose''': Welcome to Earth.
:'''Past Garnet''': C-Can you tell me?! How was Ruby able to alter fate? Or, why was Sapphire willing to give up everything? W-What am I?!
:'''Rose''': No more questions. Don't ''ever'' question this. You already are the answer.
:''[Flashback story ends as Garnet concludes]''
:'''Steven''': So…what was it? The answer?
:'''Garnet''': ''[whispers]'' Love.
:'''Steven''': Wow… I knew it.
:'''Garnet''': So did I.

=== ''Steven's Birthday'' ===
:''[Steven runs and hides to an edge of the barn; he de-ages into his normal state]''
:'''Steven''': Ohhh, geez! If I can just keep this up for the rest of my life, no one will suspect a thi—
:''[he sees wide-eyed Amethyst and Greg staring at Steven for a beat; he drops a piñata stick]''
:'''Amethyst''': What are you doing?!
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' U-uh— well, what are ''[ages back]'' you doing?
:'''Greg''': What are ''you'' doing to your body?!
:'''Amethyst''': Woah, woah, woah... Have you been stretching yourself out all day?!
:'''Steven''': No! I was just... slouching.
:'''Greg''': Why are you doing this? It... really isn't like you.
:'''Steven''': Because, Dad! I can't stay a kid forever! When Connie grows up and becomes president, what is that gonna make me? First Boy?!
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, you can't just keep stretching forever. If you hold it too long, you could really hurt yourself.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, well, I'm half-human so maybe it works different for me! We'll just have to wait and see, right?!
:'''Greg''': ''[sighs]'' Steven...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[trying to cheer up baby Steven but fails]'' My power means nothing to an infant.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Greg, Connie and Amethyst (as a baby car seat for baby Steven) drive up in his van; Connie waves a maraca trying to calm down baby Steven]''
:'''Connie''': How can the Gems not know what to do?!
:'''Greg''': You think they know the first thing about raising a baby? That was all me! But I don't get it. Driving always used to calm him down.
:'''Connie''': But, how do we change him back?!
:'''Greg''': I don't know! Look, Connie, let me take you home. I-I'll call you when this all this gets sorted out.
:''[Connie turns to baby Steven babbling and crying]''
:'''Connie''': W-Wait, no! I wanna stay.
:'''Greg''': Are you sure?
:'''Connie''': Yeah! I just want to be there for Steven. Don't worry, Steven. It doesn't matter to me what age it seems like you are, I wanna hang out with you no matter what. Your dad still has to earn his car wash and the Gems have to do gem stuff, so I'll watch you when they're not around. I can come see you after I'm done training with Pearl, too. Doesn't that sound fun? ''[baby Steven holds onto her finger; coos happily]''
:'''Greg''': Look at that! He finally stopped crying.
:'''Connie''': Well, that's a start. ''[Amethyst clears her throat]''
:'''Greg''': What's up, Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': Baby Steven needs changin'.

=== ''It Could've Been Great'' ===
:'''Steven''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:''And peace and war on the planet Earth''
:''Is there anything that's worth more''
:''Than peace and love on the planet Earth?''

:''Whoahh, come on and sing it with me''
:'''Peridot''': Sing?
:'''Steven''': ''The words relate to the key''
:'''Peridot''': Key?
:'''Steven''': ''If it's a pattern, if it's a pattern''
:''Then just repeat after me.''

:''Life and death and love and birth''
:'''Peridot''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:'''Steven''': ''Now using mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la!''
:'''Both''': ''And peace and war on the planet Earth.''
:'''Steven''': Yes, yes! That's it!
:'''Peridot''': That's so easy.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but that's what's fun about it! You should write something, you should write a song.
:'''Peridot''': About what?
:'''Steven''': Whatever you're thinking.
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''I guess we're already here, I guess we already know''
:''We've all got something to fear, we've all got nowhere to go''
:''I think you're all '''insane''', but I guess I am too''
:''Anybody would be if they were stuck on Earth with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''[laughing]'' Yes! ''Life and death and love and birth and''
:'''Amethyst''': ''Life and death and love and birth and''
:'''Pearl''': ''Life and death and love and birth''
:''And peace and war on the planet Earth.''

:'''Garnet''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:'''Steven''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:'''Peridot''': ''Is there anything that's worth more''
:''Than peace and love on the planet Earth?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Huh? Hey, Peridot, who is this supposed to be?
:'''Peridot''': ''[runs up and gasps at the mural]'' It's Blue Diamond! Wait. Are they ''all'' here?! Ah, yes! There she is!
:'''Steven''': Who?
:''[They run up to the mural of Yellow Diamond]''
:'''Peridot''': Behold, Yellow Diamond! Isn't she magnificent?
:'''Steven''': Wow! So, who are the Diamonds anyway? They seem like a big deal.
:'''Peridot''': Are you joking me? The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! Together, they make up the Great Diamond Authority that governs Homeworld and all the outlying colonies! We live to serve them. ''[Garnet clears her throat and glares down at her in annoyance; nervously chuckles]'' I…I mean, we were all made to serve them, even though some of us don't anymore.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': This is so incredible! Only the most elite can enter these sanctums. We are literally walking in the footsteps of the Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': They must really like stairs.
:''[They enter an upstairs room with only a single mysterious object in the middle]''
:'''Steven''': Hey, what's this room?
:'''Garnet''': ''[continues walking upstairs]'' It's not what we came for.
:'''Amethyst''': Can we hurry it up? This place gives me the creeps.
:'''Steven''': ''[as they reach the top of the moon base]'' We really are on the moon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Peridot brings up a hologram of Earth, which starts eroding to a hollowed-out version with a ring system as Steven and the Gems awe in shock]''
:'''Peridot''': Ta-da! A finished Earth colony. Wow, look at this! Eighty-nine Kindergartens, sixty-seven spires, a Galaxy Warp in each facet, efficient use of all available materials. What were you thinking shutting this operation down?! It could've been great!
:'''Garnet''': No! You're wrong! 
:'''Peridot''': What do you mean? It's perfect. Look at it!
:'''Pearl''': We ''are'' looking at it.
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah, this plan stinks! 
:'''Garnet''': Completing this colony would have meant the extinction of all life on Earth!
:'''Peridot''': But think of the good it would've done! The Gems that would've been made are empire expanded! 
:'''Pearl''': Rose Quartz believed all life was precious and ''worth'' protecting.
:'''Peridot''': Well, if she wanted to protect it, she did a lousy job! There'd be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony! Now there's no colony, and there's gonna be no Earth! So thank you, Rose Quartz, you doomed the planet!
:''[Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst stare angrily at Peridot for a beat]''
:'''Steven''': Ohh-hoh-hoh! ''[nervously]'' Is there anything that's worth more than— ''[Garnet picks up Peridot]''
:'''Garnet''': You listen to me now. ''[summons gauntlet]'' You were talking about things that you do ''not'' understand.
:'''Steven''': Garnet! Stop, please! It's not worth it. We're done here. Let's just go home.
:''[Garnet drops Peridot on the seat and smashes the control panel with her gauntlet and the hologram dissipates; the Gems start leaving soon after. Steven sighs]''
:'''Peridot''': What'd I say? I'm just stating a fact. The rebellion didn't really save Earth, it just delayed the inevitable.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' That's not the way they see it. They've spent thousands of years trying to protect the Earth. I thought maybe you finally understood why.

=== ''Message Received'' ===
:'''Peridot''': ''[quickly hides the Diamond Communicator prism she took from the Moon Base behind her back when she sees Steven]'' Oh! Steven.
:'''Steven''': Peridot, I need to talk to you.
:'''Peridot''': Uh, yeah! Sure.
:''[They both enter the truck]''
:'''Peridot''': Why are we in this broken down vehicle?
:'''Steven''': I wanted to ask you…about the Diamonds?
:'''Peridot''': Oh! I don't know what the others have told you, but there's a reason they're in charge.
:'''Steven''': Why's that?
:'''Peridot''': They're objectively better than us. Every Gem has their strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They're absolutely totally completely flawless beings! Especially my diamond, Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!
:'''Steven''': You're really loyal to her, aren't you?
:'''Peridot''': How could I not be? We might have our little truce, but I'll never forsake the Gem I was made for!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Yellow Pearl''': This is the Yellow Diamond control room.
:'''Amethyst''': Is that another Pearl?
:'''Steven''': Who is she?
:'''Pearl''': Not all Pearls know each other, Steven.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Who authorized you to make this call?
:'''Peridot''': No one. But it's an emergency!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': That's no excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Pearl?
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, my Diamond?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Why is there someone on the diamond line?
:'''Yellow Pearl''': I don't know! I was just about to tell her that…
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'll take it from here. ''[brings the screen up to her eye level, revealing herself]''
:''[The Crystal Gems gasp in shock]''
:'''Amethyst''': Is that…
:'''Pearl''': Yellow…
:'''Garnet''': Diamond.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wait! I— I wouldn't have called just to waste your time with a report.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You already have.
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' No, I mean... The reason I called – the ''real'' reason... I believe we should terminate the Cluster.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ...''Why?''
:'''Peridot''': The organic ecosystem creates resources unique to this world. We can't sacrifice all that potential just for one geo-weapon! I'd like to tell you some plans I came up with to utilize the planet without disrupting the local—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I've heard enough! I don't care about potential and resources.
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I want my Cluster, and I want that planet to ''die''. Just make that happen.
:'''Peridot''': ...No!
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Huh?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Are you questioning my authority?
:'''Peridot''': I'm questioning your objectivity! My Diamond.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Well! ''[Yellow Diamond stands up]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You are out of line.
:'''Peridot''': I just think—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm not interested in the puny thoughts of a Peridot.
:'''Peridot''': But—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You have disrespected this channel and my time with your presence, and you would do well to—
:'''Peridot''': But—
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''Shut your mouth!!'' ''[beat]'' You have failed at every stage of this mission! Your only chance to redeem yourself is to obey this simple order: You are to leave the Cluster to grow. It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take immense satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our star maps! ''Is that clear?!''
:'''Peridot''': I won't do it!! I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting! ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What do you know about the Earth?!
:'''Peridot''': ''[losing her temper]'' APPARENTLY MORE THAN ''YOU'', YOU... &lt;big&gt;'''''CLOD!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Yellow Diamond suddenly becomes incredibly livid at a petrified Peridot]'' Uhh... Peridot out.
:''[She terminates communication; Steven and the Gems come out from hiding and happily congratulate Peridot]''
:'''Steven''': That was AMAZING! 
:'''Peridot''': ''[sweating and looking devastated]'' I can't believe I just did that...
:'''Steven''': I was so wrong about being so wrong about you! 
:'''Peridot''': ''[still sweating and devastated]'' I can't believe I just did that...!
:'''Garnet''': You thought you could change her mind. 
:'''Amethyst''': Yellow D got torn down by the &quot;Peridactyl&quot;!
:'''Peridot''': ''[sighs and gives the communicator to Pearl]'' Can one of you take this? 
:'''Pearl''': Why? 
:'''Peridot''': Because it can be remotely detonated. 
:''[The communicator starts to glow red; Steven and the Gems panic while Peridot curls up into a ball on the ground]'' 
:'''Pearl''': How do we stop it?!
:'''Garnet''': Just get rid of it!
:'''Pearl''': Err, here, Amethyst! ''[passes it to her]''
:'''Amethyst''': ''WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?!''
:''[She throws it to Steven, who bubbles it; Garnet punches it away into the sky, where it explodes harmlessly]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[still curled up]'' I thought I could reason with her... 
:'''Amethyst''': ''[grinning]'' Yeah, you ''REALLY'' made her mad. 
:'''Pearl''': ''[smiling]'' And then you insulted her to her face. 
:'''Steven''': ''[overjoyed]'' Do you know what this means?! 
:'''Peridot''': I'm a traitor to my Homeworld. 
:'''Steven''': ''You're a Crystal Gem!!!'' ''[hugs Peridot]'' 
:'''Garnet''': ''[smiling]'' Whether you like it or not. 
:''[Peridot starts groaning loudly as the camera zooms out to the whole of Earth]''

=== ''Log Date 7 15 2'' ===
:'''Peridot''': Log Date 7-1-5-2. I can't believe I just did that! I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! ''[stops recording, rewinds and plays the recording; laughs madly]'' And I called Yellow Diamond a clod! Right to her face! ''[falls to her knees]'' I called Yellow Diamond a clod. ''Right to her face.''
:'''Steven''': Uh, Peridot? Are you going to be okay?
:'''Peridot''': ''[enthusiastically with a deranged smile]'' No!
:'''Steven''': It's all going to work out. You're with us now.
:'''Peridot''': You don't understand! I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy! I used to follow every order, every rule. Now I'm a traitor. ''[cringes]'' A rebel! ''[eyes turn to stars] '''A CRYSTAL GEMMMMMMMMMMMM....''' ''[snickers]''
:'''Steven''': Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
:'''Peridot''': '''NO IT'S NOT!''' ''[throws recorder at Garnet, who had just entered]'' It's a chronicle of my descent into madness!!!
:'''Garnet''': ''[holding out recorder to Peridot]'' You dropped this.
:'''Peridot''': Get it away from me! Give it to Steven. Return madness to its source!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Steven presses the rewind button on the tape recorder, rewinding all the way back to the beginning]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' Log Date 7-1-1-2. The Steven has given me this Earth machine to replace my communicator log. It looks…extremely primitive. He also said he wanted me to stop calling him, &quot;The Steven.&quot;
:'''Steven''': It's just &quot;Steven.&quot;
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' I said I'd call him whatever I want. ''[hisses at him; Steven holds up his finger in her face]'' He told me that was rude.
:'''Steven''': Rude.
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' I guess I'll him, &quot;Steven.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': &quot;Jokes.&quot; ''[opens up the joke book; clears throat]'' &quot;Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road.&quot; ''[laughs]'' What's a chicken?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Steven installs a TV, inserts a VHS tape in it, and ''Camp Pining Hearts'' begins to start]''
:'''TV Narrator''': ''On the last episode of ''&quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot;…''
:'''Paulette''': I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work!
:'''Percy''': It's color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
:''[They lean in closer to kiss]''
:'''Peridot''': What is this strange ritual?
:'''Steven''': Uh, that's um…
:'''Peridot''': Are they attempting fusion?
:'''Steven''': No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life--
:'''Peridot''': How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! ''[through recorder]'' ''Hour 78 of ''&quot;Camp Pining Hearts.&quot;'' [repeating Percy's line] ''It's the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?''
:'''Steven''': Uh, you've been here for a few days. Is everything okay?
:'''Peridot''': I've just been… watching your previously recorded entertainment.
:'''Steven''': Is that the same episode from three days ago?
:'''Peridot''': There's more than one?
:'''Steven''': Hmm... nah. Oh, you made a picture. ''[reaches a piece of paper before Peridot snatches it]''
:'''Peridot''': Picture?! This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers. Somehow, the rejects at Camp Clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
:'''Steven''': Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
:'''Peridot''': Paulette? Ha! Paulette has ''no'' place in the camp's hierarchy. Now, Pierre-- Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races. Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation. They'd destroy the camp!
:'''Steven''': You got all this from one episode?
:'''Peridot''': It's ''{{w|subtext}}'', Steven. Allow me to explain. ''[cut back to recorder held by Steven]'' ''Well, first of all, Percy and Pierre are both on the yellow team, and als-''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, I remember this part. ''[fast-forwards recorder as we see Peridot speeding through the entire session; Steven soon falls asleep with Garnet now sitting on the couch]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[sped through]'' ''Percy is using his pogo stick to save her. Not to mention Percy is adept at aquatic sports. He would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Paulette, and the other part where Percy goes to the bottom of the lake to get Paulette's friendship bracelet ''proves'' that he has the largest lung capacity in the entire camp! And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land, when he hung Bunk Seven's underwear in the tree, the whole-'' ''[fast-forwarding stops]'' And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! ''[Steven slumps down the floor; Garnet gives a thumbs up; tears up her complex chart, angrily]'' ''GRAHHH!!!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder]'' Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that. Amethyst's company is entertaining as well, but the fused one… ''[sees Garnet for a long beat, she gives her a thumbs up]'' …eludes me.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': Peridot, I'm proud of you.
:'''Peridot''': Why?!
:'''Garnet''': Because you've made an effort to understand me.
:'''Peridot''': But I ''still'' don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time?!
:'''Garnet''': I'm Percy and Pierre.
:'''Peridot''': ''[realizing]'' Oh!
:''[Steven fast-forwards the tape recorder]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] Okay, go.''
:'''Garnet''': ''[through recorder] Log Date 7-14-2.''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] No, you say it &quot;7-1-4-2.&quot; [groans] Log Date 7-1-4-2. I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet. I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion. Instead, I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
:'''Garnet''': ''[through recorder] Wait, keep it on a moment. Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring. You should give the recorder back to her now. She's going to want to keep it.''
:'''Peridot''': ''[through recorder] Wait, what?''

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe (season 3)</title>
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      <comment>/* Gem Drill */</comment>
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      <text bytes="52993" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment. Peridot.&quot;'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-two-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word…
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day… with my mind… in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154606</id>
      <parentid>3154604</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:06:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
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      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Barn Mates */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52995" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment.&quot; - Peridot.'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-two-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word…
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day… with my mind… in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154608</id>
      <parentid>3154606</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:08:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Barn Mates */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="52993" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment.&quot; - Peridot.'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-2-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word…
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day… with my mind… in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154609</id>
      <parentid>3154608</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:11:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
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      <comment>/* Barn Mates */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53023" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment.&quot; - Peridot.'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-2-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.
:'''Peridot''': THEY'RE HERE!

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word…
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day… with my mind… in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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    <revision>
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      <parentid>3154609</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:11:53Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="53021" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment.&quot; - Peridot.'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-2-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.
:'''Peridot''': THEY'RE HERE!

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word.
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day… with my mind… in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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      <id>3154611</id>
      <parentid>3154610</parentid>
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      <text bytes="53019" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the third season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Super Watermelon Island''===
:'''Peridot''': Didn't you feel that?
:'''Amethyst''': Feel what?
:'''Peridot''': The ground shook! This could be the start of the emergence of the Cluster. Stage 1: Slight tremors every quarter hour. Stage 2: Full-scale earthquakes. Stage 3: ''[flips the board that shows a drawn picture of the Earth being destroyed with words that say: '''&quot;CLUSTER EMERGES BYE BYE EARTH&quot;''']'' The Earth is destroyed! We're running out of time! We need to drill, right now!
:'''Steven''': No, it's Malachite!
:'''Garnet, Amethyst, &amp; Pearl''': Malachite?!
:'''Peridot''': What?
:'''Steven''': I was on Mask Island. I was in a watermelon Steven. They have a lovely community, but Malachite, she was there!
:''[Amethyst coughs out a bite of her sandwich sub]''
:'''Garnet''': Lapis Lazuli is losing control. Soon, Jasper will overpower her and Malachite will be loose.
:'''Pearl''': Who knows what sort of destruction an unstable fusion like Malachite could cause?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[sitting on mattress with Steven]'' So, Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion? You're joking me.
:'''Steven''': It's true! But Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long.
:'''Peridot''': Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired. ''[the ground starts trembling, Steven shouts]''
:'''Steven''': Ahh! I gotta help them! But they told me it was too dangerous.
:'''Peridot''': Why don't you just disobey them? They rebel. Isn't that like, your guys's thing?
:'''Steven''': Ah! You're right! Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. ''[chuckles sinisterly, falls asleep]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Wow. You are a real anarchist.
:'''Steven''': No one can tell ''me'' what to do. ''[snores]''
:'''Peridot''': Wait! What do I do now? Don't just leave me here! ''[sighs deeply]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Malachite''': Give up! ''[breaks free of water chains, sighs]'' I'm impressed. You really held out.
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MALACHITE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Malachite''': ''[gasps]'' They're here! ''[starts groaning, snaps out]'' Stop! Pathetic. Don't you see? We've been holding us back for too long, and for what? If we're going to be this thing together, why don't we have some fun?
:'''Alexandrite''': '''We don't have to fight!! You're outnumbered.''' ''[Malachite grins, raises two huge water-arms]''
:'''Malachite''': I may be outnumbered, but you're out of your depth. I can't wait to tear you Gems apart!
:'''Alexandrite''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''RAAAAHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Alexandrite''': Hey! Don't forget about me! ''[pulls Malachite in towards her and punches her; then turns Sugilite's flail into Sardonyx's war-hammer and launches Malachite in the sky; turns the war-hammer into Opal's bow and arrow again]'' You two should spend some time apart.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[the Gems and watermelon Stevens hold on as strong earthquakes tremble up Mask Island]''
:'''Garnet''':  It must be the Cluster! Peridot was right! ''[to a watermelon Steven]'' Steven, it's up to you! The warp was destroyed, we won't make it back in time! Wake up! Get Peridot and start drilling! The Earth needs you, Steven! We'll be fine! You can do this. ''[Pearl and Amethyst join her]'' We believe in you.
:''[the crying watermelon Steven nods and closes its eyes as the Gems slowly fade to black]''
:'''Amethyst''': You got this, dude! You know the drill.
:'''Pearl''': Be careful, Steven! Watch each other's backs.
:'''Garnet''': And Steven... we love you.

===''Gem Drill''===
:'''Peridot''': ''[being shaken next to drill]'' If you're done just lying there, maybe it's about time that we ''STOP THE WORLD FROM ENDING!'' Where are the others?!
:'''Steven''': They're stuck on Mask Island! We have to drill without them!
:'''Peridot''': Ugh! Am I the only one who understands the meaning of teamwork?! ''[Steven comes up, and she grips his shoulders]'' Okay. Steven, are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depths never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster before it forms and save your world?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know!
:'''Peridot''': Don't say that! Say we'll do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Steven''': We're gonna do it together and it's gonna be great!
:'''Peridot''': ''Liar!''
:''[Peridot and Steven then scamper into the drill's cockpit as the ground continues to shake]''
:'''Peridot''': Ready or not, we have a mission.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Inside the drill]''
:'''Steven''': All right, bracing for impact!
:'''Peridot''': It's actually two more hours to the Cluster.
:'''Steven''': Oh. Wish I'd brought some tunes.
:''[Looking annoyed, Peridot presses a button, making some quiet music play]''
:'''Steven''': Uh, thanks. ''[short silence; starts to look nervous]'' It's kinda... freaky down here, huh?
:'''Peridot''': Why's that?
:'''Steven''': It's just dark, and cramped, ''[shuddering]'' and, uh... I can't even... uh, stretch out. ''[they are both disturbed by a brief rumbling]'' How'd you think you were gonna get everyone in here anyway?
:'''Peridot''': I don't know. They'd... shrink or something.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As it appears that the Cluster will take form and destroy the Earth]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[terrified]'' It's too late! It's taking form! Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me! Do you have any last words?!  
:'''Steven''': ''[hugging her]'' I love you, Peridot.   
:'''Peridot''': ''[emotionally]'' Wow... .thanks... ''[hugs him back]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Cluster''': Want to stay... But... Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steven helps the Cluster bubble itself]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hugging him]'' You did it!  
:'''Steven''': We did it together. And it was great.
:''[The other Gems arrive, with an unconscious Lapis]''
:'''Steven''': Guys! You're back! I-is Lapis okay?  
:'''Garnet''': She'll be fine.
:'''Pearl''': ''[concerned]'' You look happy! Uh, did you destroy the Cluster?
:'''Steven''': No, I talked to it.
:'''Pearl''': What?  
:'''Steven''': It doesn't want to destroy the Earth. It just wants company. And it's got it now! It's like a bajillion people! They'll have lots of time to get to know each other, now that they're in a bubble.  
:'''Pearl''': ''[utterly astonished]'' How on ''Earth'' did you bubble that ''whole thing?!''  
:'''Steven''': We had a little help.
:''[The Cluster is shown again, still peacefully contained in its bubble]''

===''Same Old World''===
:'''Lapis''': For a moment, I really felt like things were different... but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped.
:'''Steven''': But you're not. You're not underwater. You're not in a mirror. This time, you're free!
:'''Lapis''': But I'm still on Earth!
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing—the leaves, the cities... even Jersey changes. My dad says the rest stops used to be pretty gross, but now they have sushi! This isn't the same world that held you prisoner - not anymore. And I know it doesn't feel like home, but maybe that can change too. I know you can't go back to Homeworld, but if you stay here, it'll be your choice to stay here.
:'''Lapis''': It's funny... For all the time I spent on Earth, I barely saw any of it.
:'''Steven''': That's not funny. That's super sad.

===''Barn Mates''===
:'''Peridot''': And then I'll say, &quot;Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?&quot; And then she'll say, &quot;Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!&quot; Peridot, Facet 5. (''ends her log'') Let's begin.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amused]'' This isn't gonna work.
:'''Peridot''': Wait, what?
:'''Lapis''': I really thought I would be living alone here.
:'''Steven''': Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space. (''takes out a marker from his left pocket and opens the cap; divides the barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker'') High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country. So what do you think, roomies?
:'''Peridot''': I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
:'''Lapis''': No. No way!
:'''Peridot''': What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
:'''Lapis''': I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
:'''Peridot''': Bah...
:'''Steven''': What's wrong, Lapis?
:'''Lapis''': It's ''her''.
:'''Peridot''': Egh?!
:'''Lapis''': ''She's'' the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth.
:'''Peridot''': Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
:'''Lapis''': You used me like everyone else did!
:'''Peridot''': But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - I'M different!
:'''Steven''': It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
:'''Peridot''': I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth, I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now! I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!
:'''Lapis''': Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
:'''Steven''': Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain? (''Lapis gives him a patient smile, but walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo; to Peridot'') Sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay. I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
:'''Peridot''': That was in the ''past''! It's not like that now! UGHHHH!
:'''Steven''': I know.
:'''Peridot''': But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want ''her'' to understand!
:'''Steven''': Aw Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
:'''Peridot''': ''[confused]'' Show her my ''sweet''?
:'''Steven''': I got you.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[hands Lapis the letter]'' Steven did the outside, and I did the inside.
:'''Lapis''': ''[opens the letter with an unimpressed look; reading]'' '''&quot;Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment.&quot; - Peridot.'''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': ''[on a rubber ring in a miniature lake]'' H-2-oh my gosh. It's a smaller than an average lake!
:'''Steven''': It's from the hole we drilled. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water. ''[Lapis pauses for a beat]''
:'''Peridot''': It's a gift for you. You know, 'cause like water's your thing? ''[snickers]'' Pretty good right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do.
:'''Lapis''': ..Water? Seriously?
:'''Peridot''': Yeah!
:'''Lapis''': You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
:'''Peridot''': Sure! But, I thought—
:'''Lapis''': It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
:'''Peridot''': ''[queasy and terrified]'' Tomb, you say?
:'''Lapis''': Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. ''[beat]'' But thanks…for the lake.
:'''Steven''': ''[grimaces]'' Uhh…
:'''Peridot''': Urrgh…
:'''Lapis''': Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': A pool! What a cloddy idea. Of course she wouldn't like that. There's nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
:'''Steven''': There has to be something. Something, something. Maybe, instead of something ''she'' likes, give her something ''you'' like. A piece of you!
:'''Peridot''': Um…okay. How about my ''Camp Pining Hearts'' DVD?
:'''Steven''': Which season?
:'''Peridot''': Five?
:'''Steven''': Trash.
:'''Peridot''': I know! Ugh! ''[falls onto the ground with her back; speaks into the tape recorder]'' Log Date- whatever. Facet- whatever! WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here. I'll unwrap it for you. When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift, and I didn't really get at first, but it made me feel better. Just to talk about all the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too. ''[gives the recorder to Lapis]'' You, uh, press the button to record, and then you talk into it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[speaks into the tape recorder]'' I don't want your garbage. ''[raises the tape recorder up, crushes it, and drops it onto the ground]''
:'''Peridot''': GUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder, too?! ''[Lapis glares enraged at her; frustrated]'' Look, I get it, you know? You're confused. You can never go back to Homeworld. This place doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone! No one could ''possibly'' know what that feels like! Oh, wait, ''I'' do! We're the same! Except… ''[calms down]'' you don't have to be alone. So, tell me, then, what you want from me. And whatever that is… ''[sighs]'' I'll do it.
:'''Lapis''': ''[scowling]'' I want you… TO LEAVE!
:'''Peridot''': ''[visibly hurt]'' Okay. ''[starts walking away]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying.
:'''Lapis''': Why do you trust her, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance. You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her. Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again. ''[He and Lapis see Peridot running towards them while screaming]'' Oh, she's coming back again.
:'''Peridot''': THEY'RE HERE!

===''Hit the Diamond''===

:''[Five Rubies have arrived on Earth; Steven and the Gems hide in the barn]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa, look at 'em all. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[scared]'' I knew it! They're after me! This is the end of the line! 
:'''Lapis''': You really weren't kidding.
:'''Peridot''': I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod…to her face.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, honestly, you call ''everyone'' a clod. 
:'''Peridot''': Yes. But not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to ''shatter me!'' ''[hides under a box]''
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We won't let them get you. ''[lifts the box, revealing Peridot curling up sadly]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Haven't I caused you enough trouble? 
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home, and that includes clods like you. 
:'''Peridot''': ''[quietly]'' That's ''my'' word.
:'''Garnet''': Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say… ''[holds up her hands]'' ''We'' have a plan? ''[giggles as she unfuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, everyone.
:'''Pearl &amp; Amethyst''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over and hugs them both]'' Hugs!
:'''Sapphire''': Hello, Steven!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Disguised as a human baseball team]''
:'''Steven''': We're the humans! Steven! 
:'''Pearl''': Earl!
:'''Amethyst''': Amy! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[apathetically]'' Bob. 
:'''Sapphire''': ''[flirtatiously]'' And Sophie...
:''[Saspphire's Ruby blushes]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After a baseball bat is accidentally destroyed, Steven goes to get a replacement from the barn]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[hiding in the barn]'' Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' Ummm, heh-heh...
:'''Ruby''': ''[standing behind Sapphire, guiding her with a bat]'' Now, what you wanna do is lean with your hips. ''[Sapphire swings the bat]'' Yeah, that's pretty good. Let me show you again.
:''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby watches them, then glares at Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[sweating]'' Well, heh... We're doing just fine. ''[heading back to the field]'' Everything's going to be A-okay...
:'''Peridot''': YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
:'''Steven''': To make you feel better! 
:'''Peridot''': THANK YOU!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Ruby and Sapphire accidentally refuse into Garnet after the baseball game]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[laughs joyously for a moment]'' ... Whoops.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[angrily]'' THEY'RE GEMS!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': ''[also angrily]'' WE'VE BEEN TRICKED!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[in quiet awe]'' What a turn of events...
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[growls]''
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': ''[confused]'' Huh? W-what?
:'''Garnet''': ''[to the other Crystal Gems]'' Sorry, guys. The game is over.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': That's it! Rubies... COMBINE!
:''[The five Rubies fuse into a giant Ruby and roar]''
:'''Peridot''': ''WAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!!'' WAIT! STOP! DON'T HURT THEM! ''[rushes out of the barn, trips twice, and runs the rest of the way on all fours, panting]'' Wait, oh please, please! It's ''me'' you're after, right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
:'''Steven''': Awww, Peri loves us! 
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission? 
:'''Peridot''': ''[nervously]'' Not sure if &quot;failed&quot; would be the right word to--
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Where is Jasper?!
:'''Peridot''': You're looking for... Jasper?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Correct!
:'''Peridot''': Wait - but I'm the one who betrayed the mission! Who called Yellow Diamond a clod! The new leader of the Crystal Gems?!
:'''Pearl''': What?
:'''Ruby Fusion''': Tell us where Jasper is! ''NOW!''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper... umm... we know where Jasper is! ''[Pearl nervously shakes her head]''
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''WELL?!''
:'''Peridot''': Uhhhhh....
:'''Steven''': ''[pointing to the sky]'' Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune!
:'''Ruby Fusion''': ''[stares at them suspiciously for a moment, then smiles and shrugs]'' Well, why didn't you say so?
:''[Steven sighs in relief, and the Rubies unfuse]''
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': We all here? One, two, three, four, aaaaand... HA! Five. ''[points to herself]'' To the planet Neptune!
:'''&quot;Army&quot; Ruby''': Let's move out, soldiers! 
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': ''[dreamily]'' What a lovely sounding planet... 
:'''&quot;Leggy&quot; Ruby''': But we just... got here.
:'''&quot;Doc&quot; Ruby''': ''[dragging &quot;Leggy&quot; along]'' Let's go, newbie!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[glares at the Gems for a moment, then speaks in a strained voice]'' Thank you... 
:''[The Rubies re-enter their space pod and zip into space at hyperspeed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Man... Rubies are ''dumb''.
:'''Garnet''': ''[Star iris closes in on Garnet's face as she smiles]'' Not all of them.

===''Steven Floats''===
:''[Steven jumps higher into the sky while a Dhawar Airlines airplane passes by]''
:'''Air Hostess''': ''[inside]'' The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Looks like we got some boys in the sky ahead of us.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Amethyst walks to the front door before looking at Steven up high in the sky]''
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, can Steven fly? Yeah, I think I remember that. ''[enters house and closes front door; comes running back outside seconds later]'' No, no, I'm thinking of Lapis! Hey, Steven!! How did you learn how to fly?!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst! Go get help!
:'''Amethyst''': ''Whaaaaat?!!''
:'''Steven''': Ugh, she can't hear me.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up high]'' Hey, Air Steve!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, I need you to... ''[she falls back down]'' Dang, too slow. Better ask quicker.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[jumps up again]'' What'd you say?
:'''Steven''': I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appearance ''[she falls down]''—aw, rats! ''[she jumps up again; Steven continues]'' —of a power previously was unbeknownst to me ''[she falls]'' which I can't control... Um... ''[she jumps up again, annoyed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Dude, summarize!
:'''Steven''': Go get Garnet!

===''Drop Beat Dad''===

===''{{w|Mr. Greg}}''===
:'''Greg''': ''Bright sunny day don't cost nothing''
:''Light summer breeze don't cost nothing''
:''What do I do with all this money''
:''When the only thing I want is you?''

:''Palling around don't cost nothing''
:''Singing a song don't cost nothing''
:''How do I spend all this money?''
:''I'd rather just spend time with you.''

:'''Steven''': ''You could buy a house and a car''
:'''Greg''': ''I guess that I can but I've already got a van''
:''I could put you through college''
:'''Steven''': But I'm with the Gems all the time!
:'''Greg''': ''Or I could buy you all the finest courses online.''

:'''Steven''': What if we took a trip?
:'''Greg''': Do you think?
:'''Steven''': Yeah, I do! ''We could take a vacation''
:''We could go somewhere new!''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': ''I was fine with the men''
:''Who would come into her life now and again''
:''I was fine 'cause I knew''
:''That they didn't really matter until you.''

:''I was fine when you came''
:''And we fought like it was all some silly game''
:''Over her, who she'd choose''
:''After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:''War and glory, reinvention''
:''Fusion, freedom, her attention''
:''Out in daylight, my potential''
:''Bold, precise, experimental''

:''Who am I now in this world without her?''
:''Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her?''
:''What does it matter, it's already done''
:''Now I've got to be there for her son.''

:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it over?''
:''You won and she chose you, and she loved you and she's gone''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''
:''It's over, isn't it, why can't I move on?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''Why don't you talk to each other?''
:''Why don't you talk to each other, just give it a try''
:''Why don't you talk about what happened?
:''I know you're trying to avoid it, but I don't know why.''

:''You might not believe it''
:''You might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do''
:''You both love me and I love both of you.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': Look, if I were you, I'd hate me too.
:'''Pearl''': I don't hate you.
:'''Greg''': But... I knew how you felt about Rose and I stayed anyway.
:'''Pearl''': That wasn't the problem.
:'''Greg''': Then, what was?
:'''Pearl''': She fell in love with you.
:'''Greg''': Well, you know Rose.
:'''Both''': ''[chuckling in tears]'' She always did what she wanted!
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''I know you both need it, I know you both need it''
:''Someone who knows what you're going through''
:''You might not believe it, you might not believe it''
:''But you got a lot in common, you really do.''

:''You both love me and I love both of you''
:''You both love me and I love both... of you.''

===''Too Short to Ride''===
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Peridot are too short to ride the Appalachian ride; Peridot's hair makes her look taller, but Harold Smiley pushes it down, making her throw a tantrum and wave her fists]''
:'''Harold''': ''[laughs]'' Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.  
:'''Peridot''': I do ''not'' have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance! I demand entry, you ''CLOD!''
:'''Harold''': ''[clears throat]'' You kids want another lifetime ban?  
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously pulls Peridot away]'' No thanks, Mr. Smiley!  
:'''Amethyst''': Shorty Squad out.

===''The New Lars''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Lars? why didn't you want to hang out with Sadie?
:'''Lars''': I see her at work. Why do I need to see her on my day off?
:'''Steven''': But aren't you gonna get married, and have kids, and name one of them after his uncle Steven?
:'''Lars''': Oh, let me think…No. Me and Sadie ''aren't'' getting married. We aren't even dating. And if she thinks we are, that's her problem.
:'''Steven''': You're lying. I know how you feel about Sadie.
:'''Lars''': ''You'' don't know what you're talking about, so butt out! ''[walks off]'' Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.
:'''Steven''': Why can't you just admit you love her?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Lars (Steven) dresses himself up and heads downstairs into the kitchen, finding his parents, Martha and Dante, talking]''
:'''Martha''': No. We can do this, Dante. We have to talk to him.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Hi, there.
:''[Martha and Dante turn around and notice him]''
:'''Dante''': Oh, there's our boy. How are you feeling?
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[sits down at the table]'' Uh…taller?
:'''Martha''': ''[places breakfast in front of him]'' Here you go. Oh, it's good to see you this morning, Laramie.
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[smiling]'' Who's Laramie?
:'''Martha''': I mean…Lars. ''[sits down next to her husband at the table]''
:'''Dante''': Now, Lars, we know school is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about this. ''[shows him his grade report]''
:'''Lars (Steven)''': ''[literally reading]'' &quot;F-F-F-F-F-F-B-D-F.&quot; That doesn't spell anything.
:'''Martha''': Please, Lars. We let you move into the attic, and your grades are still below average. All we're asking from you is…
:'''Dante &amp; Martha''': A little effort!
:'''Lars (Steven)''': Wow. You guys seem so nice. I'm sure I don't want to let either of you down. I, Lars, promise to go out and do my very best at being your son. ''[gets up and leaves]''
:'''Dante''': Wow! He didn't even swear.
:'''Martha''': And he's wearing the plugs I got him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lars''': ''[slowly getting up]'' Mmm… Huh? Sadie? ''[gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him]'' How did I get here?! ''[stands up, panicking]'' What are you all doing here?!
:'''Sadie''': Lars, don't get mad.
:'''Lars''': Huh?!
:'''Sadie''': But Steven really didn't mean to…
:'''Lars''': ''[furiously turns to Steven]'' '''''You!''''' What did you do?!
:''[Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck rush in front of him, defending Steven]''
:'''Steven''': ''[nervously]'' I spent the day…with my mind…in your body.
:''[Lars gasps in shock and screams in disgust]''
:'''Jenny''': Whoa. Where's your chill?
:'''Buck''': Buck is no longer pleased.
:'''Martha''': I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.
:'''Lars''': I was acting weird all day and you all just '''''LIKED''''' '''IT?!'''
:'''Dante''': Please don't make a scene, Laramie.

===''Beach City Drift''===
:'''Steven''': They told me, &quot;there wasn't enough room on the road for the universe.&quot; And I told them, &quot;the universe ''is'' my road.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Connie and Steven lie down on a car hood by the &quot;It's a Wash&quot; car wash at night; Steven grumpily sighs]''
:'''Connie''': Still mad about Kevin?
:'''Steven''': '''Yes'''.
:'''Connie''': Me too. ''[Steven sits up]''
:'''Steven''': You don't seem mad.
:'''Connie''': ''[sits up]'' I'm thinking mad. I still feel like there's something big I want to say to him, you know? Something to make him think, like we're thinking. 
:'''Steven''': Yeah. Too bad we can't just... race against him—to use the first place ribbon to wipe that smug look off his face!
:'''Connie''': But we're kids. Kids can't drive. That's against the law.
:'''Steven''': We weren't kids when we met Kevin.
:'''Connie''': ''[smirking]'' I smell what you're steppin' in.
:'''Steven''': Ew.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Feel like giving up yet?
:'''Stevonnie''': Ugh! Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?! ''[Kevin becomes sentimental]''
:'''Kevin''': The truth is, I don't mean to be this way. I-I just lash out because of my little brother. ''[inhales sharply, sighs]'' He's sick. Been sick all our lives. Sometimes I think if I act real cool and never let anyone see my pain, then maybe the pain will go away. And maybe... ''[covers face with his hand]'' I can take his pain away, too.
:'''Stevonnie''': Kevin... I had no idea.
:''[Kevin starts sniffling with his hand still on his face; he slowly starts laughing idiotically]''
:'''Kevin''': Dude! I don't even have a brother! I'm like this because I think it's funny!
:'''Stevonnie''': '''URRRGH!!'''
:'''Kevin''': Chowzers.

===''Restaurant Wars''===

===''Alone at Sea''===
:''[amid the dark clouds, Steven sees Lapis on the stem of the boat staring at the ocean]''
:'''Steven''': Lapis? Um... I have some not-so-good news. There's trouble with the engine, and we might be stuck out here for a while. ''[Lapis sighs. He pauses]'' I'm so sorry! This whole thing is my fault. I just wanted you to have fun, but e-everything's a mess. I-I shouldn't have made you come on this trip. ''[Lapis then walks to the right]''
:'''Lapis''': It's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
:'''Steven''': That's not true!
:'''Lapis''': I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.
:'''Steven''': But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper.
:'''Lapis''': That's not it. I... I miss her.
:'''Steven''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lapis''': We were fused for so long.
:'''Steven''': But... she's terrible!
:'''Lapis''': ''I'm'' terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg, I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!

===''Greg the Babysitter''===
:''[Greg, Rose Quartz and baby Sour Cream lie down on the beach under a parasol]''
:'''Rose''': You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
:'''Greg''': ''[beat]'' What do you mean?
:'''Rose''': You're both human! You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' What?
:'''Rose''': I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that... you grow.
:'''Greg''': Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. 
:''[Rose giggles and then pauses for a moment]''
:'''Rose''': When a gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same, even moment to moment—you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power... the ability to grow up.
:'''Greg''': ''[pause]'' Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on! Watch Sour Cream a second. ''[runs off]'' I gotta write this down!

===''Gem Hunt''===
:'''Connie''': So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some {{w|Scooby-Doo|guy in a monster suit}}. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Connie''': All we have to do is follow these tracks. ''[takes a handful of snow and tastes it]'' Yeah. These are fresh. We trail it until it stops to rest.
:'''Steven''': Wow, Connie! You're a wilderness expert.
:'''Connie''': Well, I like to be prepared. When civilization collapses and this world ends, I need to be ready to build the new one.
:'''Steven''': Yeah. I guess if Homeworld invades Earth, things could get pretty crazy for humanity.
:'''Connie''': Forget Gems! Humans are already starting their own demise! Peak oils, Steven! How do we handle terminal decline without alternate energy sources?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Hey, Rose, look what I got.

===''Crack the Whip''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[confronts Amethyst]'' I came here to fight Rose, not some runt!
:'''Amethyst''': You think you can just keep showing up and picking fights with us? Hah! Why don't you get a '''life'''?!!
:'''Jasper''': Fighting ''is'' my life! It's what I was made for! ''[points at her]'' It's what you were made for too, runt!
:'''Amethyst''': So? I've got other stuff goin' on. I can fight JUST '''FINE!!''' ''[lashes her whip at Jasper, who catches it easily]''
:'''Jasper''': Well, then... let's see it!
:''[she pulls Amethyst holding her whip, kicks her, spin-dashes her numerous times on the sand. She struggles to get up in front of Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': You're not even trying. Is it because you know you're already a failure? ''[Amethyst looks up at her]'' You're a quartz soldier, just like me. But you're not like me, are you? 
:''[cut to show Steven, Connie and Lion fighting the corrupted gem monster; Jasper chuckles as Amethyst gets up]''
:'''Jasper''': You're small! ''[begins rapidly punching Amethyst, slamming her down; Steven sees them]''
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?! ''[the monster lunges its hand near them]''
:'''Jasper''': Are you that desperate for troops, Rose, that you keep a defect like this?! ''[Amethyst slowly stands up]''
:'''Amethyst''': Rose said... I'm perfect... the way I am!
:'''Jasper''': Then she had low standards. ''[an enraged Amethyst charges at Jasper with her spin-dash]'' You... could've been me! ''[kicks Amethyst into the air, falls down as she watches Jasper face to face]'' And what are you instead? ''[Amethyst slams into the ground]''
:'''Connie/Steven''': Amethyst! ''[a badly bruised Amethyst looks back at Jasper]''
:'''Jasper''': Just a joke.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': ''[shocked to see Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie]'' You fused?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[catches Amethyst's gem]'' Whoa! I did!
:'''Jasper''': You Crystal Gems would even fuse with a human?!
:'''Stevonnie''': ''[facing Jasper]'' I don't wanna hear ANYTHING you say! ''[holds up Amethyst's gem]'' Unless it's &quot;sorry.&quot;

===''Steven vs. Amethyst''===
:'''Steven''': ''[loses to Amethyst on &quot;Lonely Blade&quot; video game]'' That was crazy good, Amethyst! Nice job!
:'''Amethyst''': Knock it off, Steven. I know you let me win.
:'''Steven''': ''[stammers]'' Wha— ''me''? No, I— pfff... nooo... ''[Amethyst shuts TV off]''
:'''Amethyst''': You weren't even trying.
:'''Steven''': I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel better. 
:'''Amethyst''': Great, and now you're even more mature than me.
:'''Steven''': Amethyst?
:'''Amethyst''': You're supposed to be the rookie but now you're better than me at everything! ''[sighs]'' Now I'm the worst Crystal Gem.
:'''Steven''': Wha-what?
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh! ''[mutters]'' You know what I mean, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Uhh, not really! I thought you guys ''wanted'' me to be strong. An-and now I am, and you're mad at me?!
:'''Amethyst''': No! I get mad at myself! That's, ugh, the thing I do! I get mad at myself, and then it makes me suck at everything I do even more.
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs]'' Amethyst, you don't suck. You do so many cool things. You have two whips. Two whips! And the dash thing? Amethyst, you're so much better than me!
:'''Amethyst''': No way. You have Rose's shield, and bubble, and the floating thing, and— ''[grunts]'' I'd just be floating all day!
:'''Steven''': Floating? I forget to use that half the time! And the rest of the time my powers aren't even guaranteed to work! I'm... I'm way worse than you!
:'''Amethyst''': Nuh-uh! ''I'm'' the worst!
:'''Steven''': No way, I am! I'll prove it! I'll-I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am!
:'''Amethyst''': Fine! Let's do it!!
:'''Both''': Let the worst gem lose!!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven and Amethyst lie down on the floor for a beat, they start up laughing amongst themselves]''
:'''Steven''': What's wrong with us? ''[continues laughing]''
:'''Amethyst''': Well, I know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to be small. And everyone's always acting like there's no problem. &quot;You can be anything you wanna be!&quot; No, I can't! ''[sighs]'' I can't even be the one thing I'm supposed to be, you know?
:'''Steven''': Of course I do. I'm... not Rose Quartz.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hits her face]'' Oh no! Oh, Steven—
:'''Steven''': Why do you think I've been working so hard?
:'''Amethyst''': Well... it's paying off.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling, gets up]'' I sure hope so.
:''[Amethyst sees Steven holding out his hand to her, smiles. She swings her arm but misses, laughing; she misses again before she finally catches his hand. She gets up and laughs with Steven]''
:'''Amethyst''': Thanks, Steven. ''[Pearl gasps in horror at the entrance]''
:'''Pearl''': What did you two do?! You've ruined the ruins!
:'''Amethyst''': Whoops.
:'''Steven''': I don't think we're gonna see the prize pouch for a while.

===''{{w|Bismuth (Steven Universe)|Bismuth}}''===
:''[Steven and the Gems take Bismuth to the strawberry battlefield]''
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld's final attack on Earth wiped out all of the Crystal Gems.
:'''Pearl''': Rose was able to protect Garnet and myself, and by the looks of it, she was able to protect you as well. ''[Bismuth picks up a rusty battle-axe]''
:'''Bismuth''': I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted. How many of us did they shatter? Crazy Lace? Biggs?! Snowflake?! If I was there, I-'''I coulda stopped it!!'''
:'''Garnet''': It's not like they've stopped trying.
:'''Bismuth''': What's that?
:'''Garnet''': Homeworld still has its eyes on this planet.
:'''Pearl''': We continue to thwart their plans over and over. ''[Steven runs over followed by Amethyst]''
:'''Steven''': But they just keep coming back!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep. They want us bad.
:'''Bismuth''': Good. I thought I wouldn't get another chance to show those upper-crusts who's ''boss''! Let's show 'em what happens when you mess with the Crystal Gems! ''[slams battle-axe to the ground with a loud roar; Steven smiles]''
:'''Steven''': Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bismuth''': Rose Quartz changed my life. I came to Earth thinking this was just another colony. Build another arena for important fighters to fight in, build another spire for important thinkers to think in, and then I met her. Just another quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt, but she was different. And she was different because she decided to be. And she asked me what I wanted to build, and I'd never heard that before. And Gems never hear they can be anything other than what they are, but Rose opened our eyes.
:'''Steven''': Everybody always tells me how great Mom was. I just don't feel like I can ever measure up to her. ''[Bismuth chuckles out loud]''
:'''Bismuth''': I can't believe this... that I'm the one giving the pep talk to Rose's... Rose's...?
:'''Steven''': Son.
:'''Bismuth''': Right. You are different. That's what's so exciting. You don't have to be like Rose Quartz. You can be someone even better. You can be you. And you know what? You deserve an even better weapon.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven walks to a severely injured Bismuth holding the Breaking Point]''
:'''Steven''': Bismuth... this has to stop.
:'''Bismuth''': So what are you gonna do, shatter me?! ''[grabs Breaking Point to her gemstone]'' Go ahead! &lt;big&gt;'''JUST ''DO IT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Steven''': ..No! Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this! ''[Bismuth pauses, yanks Breaking Point from Steven. He steps back, stops at Rose's sword, draws it out as Bismuth advances—SHING!!]''
:''[for a long beat, Steven sees Bismuth impaled holding Rose's sword]''
:'''Bismuth''': ..You shoulda shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell 'em. You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends...
:'''Steven''': I'm going to tell them! I'm gonna tell them everything. ''[Bismuth takes in a surprise, chuckles in her tears]''
:'''Bismuth''': Then you really are better than her.

===''Beta''===
:''[Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are watching &quot;Camp Pining Hearts&quot; on the truck sticking out over the barn's entrance]''
:'''Percy''': ''[in the show]'' But Paulette, I need you! 
:'''Peridot''': Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet. 
:'''Lapis''': Seriously.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Wow, you guys are looking good. And I love what you did to the barn! 
:'''Peridot''': Aww, I know. But wait, wait - you guys ''have'' to see the inside! Lapis, fly us in! 
:'''Lapis''': ''[smiling]'' Nnnno.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Inside the barn]''
:'''Amethyst''': You did all this stuff on purpose? Like, you didn't just knock over a bunch of paint cans and go, &quot;Eh, just leave it&quot;?
:'''Peridot''': Oh, no. This was all very intentional. You see, I had this idea: What if we made music, but instead of sounds, we use things!
:'''Amethyst''': That's dumb.  
:'''Steven''': Guys, that's art! 
:'''Peridot''': Art? That sounds ridiculous! 
:'''Lapis''': I've been calling it &quot;meepmorp&quot;.
:'''Peridot''': Let us show you our... morps. ''[chuckles]''
:''[She shows them something made from her broken recorder, some cassettes and a blue ribbon]''
:'''Peridot''': This piece is called &quot;Wow, thanks&quot;. It represents the struggles of intercommunication. The tape is the ribbon that binds our experience on Earth together. It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad! ''[smiles proudly]''
:''[Lapis shows them a baseball bat, mitt and ball hanging from a stick by string]''
:'''Lapis''': Here's my meepmorp. This is a baseball bat. It reminds me of when I played baseball. ''[walks backwards to a leaf sitting on a rock]'' This is a leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf. 
:'''Steven''': Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too! ''[Peridot grins; Amethyst looks nauseated]''
:''[Next is a TV with two mirrors attached, playing Percy in ''Camp Pining Hearts'' saying &quot;I just feel trapped&quot; over and over]''
:'''Steven''': ''[worried]'' Is this one about... the thousands of years you spent trapped in the mirror? 
:'''Lapis''': No. I just really like that show.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Wow, Amethyst doesn't seem to understand morons at all.
:'''Steven''': No, ''[sighs]'' it's something else. Amethyst found out she's supposed to be just like Jasper.
:'''Peridot''': Meh?
:'''Steven''': Jasper took her down in a fight, and now, she's obsessed with getting a rematch, to prove she's good enough.
:'''Peridot''': Hmm. Amethyst, Ams, Big A. ''You'' are ''way'' better than Jasper!
:'''Amethyst''': What? Oh. ''[to Steven]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Steven''': I, uh…
:'''Peridot''': What are you even doing comparing yourself to her? Oh, Amethyst, that's ridiculous. I should call you &quot;Ridiculousthyst.&quot; ''[laughs]'' I mean, seriously, Amethyst and Jasper are ''completely'' different Quartzes. Sure, you're both from Earth, but your Kindergartners are ''radically'' different.
:'''Steven''': What? Hold-- Hold on. What?!
:'''Amethyst''': We're both from Earth?
:'''Peridot''': Well, sure. Amethyst, you're from the Prime Kindergarten in Facet 5. ''She's'' from the ''Beta'' Kindergarten, in Facet 9. Have you ''seen'' that place?
:'''Amethyst''': No!
:'''Peridot''': Oh. Well, maybe you should, so you could see how the other half was made… Poorly! ''[laughs]'' No, seriously. Let's go. You'll get a kick out of this.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Here we are, Jasper's origin-- the Beta Kindergarten.
:'''Steven''': Am I underwhelmed? It's pretty bright out here.
:'''Amethyst''': It's red.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. Red sandstone! Ha! This is what I'm talking about. We're lucky this place hasn't blown away. Beta, am I right?
:'''Steven''': ''[laughs]'' That's a math joke, right?
:'''Peridot''': Come on. It gets worse. I mean, this place has got the right growing conditions in a pinch, I guess, but it's too small! It was obviously a total rush job.
:'''Steven''': A rush job?
:'''Peridot''': Halfway through the rebellion, Homeworld scrambled to generate extra soldiers on the ground. Look at this-- the holes don't even line up! ''[scoffs]'' It's like they just threw injectors down wherever. Oh, and that one? This Carnelian came out sideways. How could she not? The walls are curved! ''[laughs]'' What a joke.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': What you want to see is a vertical alignment; no angle in the exit; a clean, strong silhouette. None of these holes come close!
:'''Amethyst''': What about that one?
:''[They look up at Jasper's big exit hole]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasper.
:'''Steven''': ''This'' is Jasper's hole?
:'''Amethyst''': It's huge!
:'''Peridot''': Oh, come on. We already know she's tall. Let's take a closer look.

===''Earthlings''===
:'''Jasper''': Pipe down! You take orders from me now! You used to be a Quartz too, didn't you? What happened to you? Tch. Disgraceful. I can't believe I've resorted to recruiting you freaks! You're almost as bad as that Crystal ''runt''! Just look at you. This planet ruins everything! Well, (''chuckles'') except for me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jasper''': Every Gem is made for a purpose—to serve the order of the Diamonds. Those who cannot fit inside this order must be purged! To come out misshapen, to reshape yourself outside your purpose, and to defend this worthless, ruined planet is a disgrace!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven throws his shield over a towering Injector; Amethyst backs away from Jasper as it falls between them]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven... I-I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, she came out right, and I came out... wrong.
:'''Steven''': That's just what Jasper thinks! She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!
:'''Amethyst''': But—
:'''Steven''': Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're ''nothing'' like Jasper! You're like ''me''!! Because we're both not like anybody! And yeah, it sucks! ''[Jasper lifts up the Injector and throws it aside]'' But at least I've got you. And you've got me! ''[tearing up]'' So stop leaving me out of this!
:'''Amethyst''': Us worse Gems stick together... ''[sniffles]'' right? ''[Steven holds out his hand]''
:'''Steven''': That's why we're the best.
:''[Amethyst takes his hand, and they hug - and fuse]''
:'''Smoky Quartz''': What a ''BEAUTIFUL'' DAY!
:'''Jasper''': Huh?! Who are you supposed to be?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[After briefly fusing with a corrupted Gem, the corruption spreads slowly in Jasper's left arm]''
:'''Peridot''': Eww, that's disgusting!
:'''Smoky Quartz''': It's... corruption. ''[separates back into Steven and Amethyst]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven, be careful.
:'''Steven''': But this just happened - maybe I can do something! Jasper, it's okay. I'm here. ''[starts approaching her]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[snarling]'' Rose... 
:'''Steven''': I'm not Rose, I'm Steven. I just wanna try and heal you. ''[licks his palm and reaches for her -  but she slashes at him, tearing his shirt]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven!! 
:''[Peridot unsuccessfully tries to mentally move the metal rod again]'' 
:'''Steven''': ''[as Amethyst tries to charge at Jasper]'' Stop! 
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' I see how you do it now, Rose... You want Gems after they're worthless. You wait until after they've lost! Because when you're at the bottom... you'll follow ''anyone'' that makes you feel like less of a failure. ''[as Peridot rushes over]'' Huh... Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity...
:'''Peridot''': I still have one of those things. 
:'''Jasper''': ''How can you side with Rose Quartz?!'' Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?! 
:'''Peridot''': It's not a shell. There's so much life, living here. ''[smiling]'' That's what ''I'm'' doing! I'm living here! I've been learning new things about myself all the time! Like how I can make metal do my bidding! ''[tries to show this off, but the rod just falls behind her]'' The point being: Earth can set you free. ''[Steven smiles]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[angrily, as the corruption spreads rapidly in her body]'' Earth... is a prison! I got out because I'm better than this place...!
:'''Steven''': It's getting worse. 
:'''Jasper''': I only came back to finish you off...!
:'''Steven''': Try not to move!
:'''Jasper''': ''You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!'' 
:'''Steven''': I-- I'm not manipulating! I'm trying to help! 
:'''Jasper''': Help...? ''HELP?!'' I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust! Because of what ''YOU'' did to my colony! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my planet! Because of what '''YOU''' did to my Diamond! 
:'''Steven''': ''[confsed]'' I... Yellow Diamond? 
:'''Jasper''': Wha...?! ''MY'' DIAMOND! ''YOUR'' DIAMOND! &lt;big&gt;'''''PINK DIAMOND!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Her corruption worsening, Jasper becomes barely recognizable and looks ready to attack; Peridot finally gets the metal rod to move, plunging it into Jasper and making her poof]''
:'''Peridot''': ''[after a brief silence]'' You're... welcome.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[smiles, then walks over to Jasper's gem and sighs]'' Come here, sis. ''[bubbles her]''

===''Back to the Moon''===
:''[the Rubies walk up the moon base stairway followed by Amethyst (as Jasper), Pearl, Garnet and Steven]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': The Earth was Pink Diamond's colony. Everything was going smoothly at first. Kindergartens were incubating their first soldiers—big, warm pieces of quartz, like this mountain over here—were being created from its rich minerals with great success. Then, bam! One of Pink Diamond's very own quartz soldiers started a rebellion and took it too far. Where were you when that happened?
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, you know... around. ''[&quot;Eyeball&quot; turns to Amethyst]''
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I was there. I saw it with my own eye. I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz... ''[projects her light on the mural]'' shatter Pink Diamond!
:''[Steven looks up in his horror; Garnet is frozen still for a beat, Pearl starts shivering in fear]''
:'''Steven''': No... ''[beat]'' Rose Quartz w-would never do that! ''[tearing up]'' A-And, sure, she had to fight but... But she would never shatter someone!

===''Bubbled''===
:''[Steven (in his bubble) and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby drift in space far away from the Earth]''
:'''Steven''': There goes the Earth.
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': There goes my whole platoon! ''[growls at him]'' This is a mess! ''[walks around his bubble]'' What'll I say about my report?! How will I even ''make'' my report?! This is a nightmare! ''[looks down at him]'' And this is all ''your'' fault.
:'''Steven''': Whoa, hey, no it's not! You were trying to hurt my friends!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': But you opened the airlock in the moon base. ''You'' sent us flying into space with no hope of ever returning!
:'''Steven''': ''[long pause]'' Okay, so maybe that was my fault. I'm sorry. There! Are you happy?
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': No! Lucky you're in that bubble, or I'd pop you right in the face.
:'''Steven''': Well, if you're going to be a grump about it, then we can just float in silence until we both die!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Sounds great!
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I can't wait!!
:'''Steven''': Me neither!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': When I heard rumors there might still be Crystal Gems on Earth, I couldn't believe it. A thousand years of fighting were all for nothing! And Rose Quartz might still be alive? ''[scoffs, rolls on her side]'' She must be. Why else would someone as important as Jasper be back on Earth? For closure, that's why. I wanted it, too. I wanted to see Rose Quartz with my own eye. At the very least, I thought Jasper might have some answers, but... it wasn't even her. Just another trick.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': How come nobody told me about Pink Diamond?
:'''Garnet''': We all did what we had to during the war. Everything's different now.
:'''Steven''': But did Mom really do it? Did she really... shatter her?
:'''Garnet''': She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. ''[clutches her hand]'' For you to exist.
:'''Steven''': But I thought... a-at least she'd never—
:'''Garnet''': She didn't always do what was best for her. But she always did what was best for Earth.
:'''Steven''': Even... if it meant shattering someone?
:'''Garnet''': Yes.
:''[Steven pauses, takes a deep breath and sighs as the Gems pilot the Rubies' Roaming Eye back to Earth]''
:'''Steven''': Thanks for telling me.

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe (season 4)</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T18:28:56Z</timestamp>
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        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
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      <comment>/* Know Your Fusion */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="51884" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of ''[[Steven Universe]]''.

===''Kindergarten Kid''===
:''[Steven and Peridot, both beaten the first two times to capture the gem monster, are standing on a cliff next to a giant boulder]''
:'''Peridot''': Okay... I've analyzed the problems with the previous two Peri-plans. Relying on the injectors introduced too many complicating variables. Now we only have to rely on simple physics! We'll wait until it gets right up under us, not suspecting a thing - because it's '''''so dumb''''' - and then we'll drop this rock right on its stupid head! It's even more flawless! And at this height, '''nothing can fall on us!'''
:'''Steven''': What if it doesn't stop where we want it to?
:'''Peridot''': I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN, STEVEN!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Why can't I master this?
:'''Steven''': Aw, Peridot, it's okay. Even if none of your Peri-plans worked, at least they were really funny. ''[eats some marshmallows]'' And the others will probably think so, too when we go back and get them.
:'''Peridot''': &quot;Go back?&quot; Let it be known that I, Peridot, refuse to move forward, or back, until I am victorious.
:'''Steven''': Right...
:'''Peridot''': I don't get it. I'm ''smarter'' than your average peridot. How did I fail today against some barely functional, stupid, cloddy dumb-dumb?!
:'''Steven''': Hey, hey. Corruptions aren't dumb. They just think a little different. That's all.
:'''Peridot''': ''[pause]'' Okay. Just to make sure my Earth vocabulary is correct on this. Let's say, I'm a monster. I spend all my time slamming my face into hard objects and throwing my tongues in the air for fun. How am I not... ''dumb?''
:'''Steven''': ..Well, she must be doing ''something'' right. She hasn't fallen for any of your Peri-plans. ''[Peridot's face twitches at Steven]''
:'''Peridot''': It's luck! Nothing that thing does makes any sense! ''[angrily kicks a rock. Steven thinks it over, then throws a marshmallow at her]'' Hey! ''[shields herself as Steven continues throwing handfuls of marshmallows at her]'' ''Why are you bombarding me with your confectionery puff rocks?!''
:'''Steven''': ''[continues throwing marshmallows]'' To show you what it's like to be a monster! Pretend I'm a freaked-out human screaming at you in fear! Pretend I'm an Earth animal chasing you away from your first safe hiding spot! Pretend I'm an angry green gem trying to poof you! This is life for you, now! ''ENDLESS SUFFERING!''
:''[Peridot angrily snatches the marshmallow bag from Steven and thrashes it around in her mouth]''
:'''Steven''': There. You see?
:'''Peridot''': ''[calms down, spits out the bag]'' Yeah.
:'''Steven''': What you're doing makes total sense. You remember what it was like to have everything important taken away. Being under attack, feeling trapped. You were frustrated. So is she. Why don't you try thinking about all of this from ''her'' point of view? Note 1: they try to get the corrupted gems that Jasper out in cages. Note 2: this is Peridot's first time bubbling a (corrupted) gems 💎

===''Know Your Fusion''===
:'''Smoky''': I can't see nothing in here.
:'''Sardonyx''': You cannot see ''anything,'' my darling-- because the show hasn't started yet!
:'''Smoky''': Show?
:'''Sardonyx''': Live, from a metaphysical room deep in the temple, it's &quot;Sardonyx Tonight!&quot; ''[under a spotlight, speaking into microphone]'' Goooood evening, everybody! We have a brand new fusion with us tonight. I'm so excited I could just shatter. ''[throws the microphone off aside]'' Everyone welcome, Smoky Quartz! So tell me literally ''everything'' there is to know about yourself, and do not skip out on any of the juicy details.
:'''Smoky''': Well… I like, long walks through the Kindergarten. Actually that's where I sort of- pow- became me. And, uh, pow! Beat Jasper.
:'''Sardonyx''': Oh, that Jasper! Always running around Kindergartens and causing trouble. Boy, that didn't quite work out for her. Guess she should go back to ''preschool,'' am I right, folks?
:'''Smoky''': Yeah. She lost her mind in a corrupted fusion. I guess you could say she has a… ''short fuse?'' ''[Sardonyx and the audience laughs]'' Easy crowd, huh? Where'd you get 'em?
:'''Sardonyx''': I made them myself. But. Smoky, I think what we really want to know is… ''who'' are ''you?'' Who is…Smoky Quartz?
:'''Smoky''': Uh, well, between the fight and now, I've really only existed for like, ten minutes, so, Uh… I… I don't know. But I do know how to do this! ''[summons her yo-yo]'' This one's called &quot;Sad Baby in a Diaper&quot;! Bow!
:'''Sardonyx''': Yes, the yo-yo. Seen it, lived it, loved it. But what about the rest of your game?
:'''Smoky''': I ain't exactly a deck of cards here. Oh! I ''can'' lick my elbow. I have three of them now!
:'''Sardonyx''': We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor! ''[snaps her fingers, and the overhead light goes out]''
:'''Smoky''': Huh?
:'''Sardonyx''': Listen, Smoky, let's talk-- fusion to fusion. That's a nice yo-yo, but, I want to know the ''yo-you.''
:'''Smoky''': What? ''[giggles as Sardonyx brushes their cheek with a make-up duster]''
:'''Sardonyx''': Smoky, there's bound to be way more to you than just… a yo-yo. You're a fusion. You're ''full'' of surprises! You just don't know it yet.
:'''Smoky''': Yeah. Yeah I guess that ''is'' how surprises work.
:'''Sardonyx''': I've got it! Every fusion gets something new - a new power, a new weapon…
:'''Smoky''': Like a yo-yo?
:'''Sardonyx''': Yes, but better. Let's find out what's ''new'' about ''you.'' ''[snaps her fingers and the spotlight comes back on]'' And welcome back! Don't those cartoon characters make you want to buy those products? I sure hope so, or else I'd be off air. ''[laughs]'' We have a new segment for you all, tonight. That's right, everyone. It's time to &quot;Hit…That…Bird!&quot; During Opal's adventures at the Sky Spire, ''[screen monitor shows a clip from '''&quot;Giant Woman&quot;''' of the said event]'' she took down a flock of bird monsters with her bow. Let's see if you got her &quot;Opalescent&quot; aim.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sardonyx''': What do you say we move on to the next segment, everybody? Here we are! I call this segment…
:'''Sugilite''': ''[voiceover]'' &quot;You Like That, Little Man?&quot;
:'''Sardonyx''': 'Cause everybody loves a callback. She's not ''actually'' in this episode. Do we still have to pay her? Yes? Fair enough. Now it's no secret that us fine fusions pack an extra punch, but Sugilite is a standout for being a heavy-hitting powerhouse!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sardonyx''': Now, Alexandrite has a throat full of flames. Whether that's the cause of her raspy voice is up for debate. ''[screen monitor shows a clip from '''&quot;Super Watermelon Island&quot;''' of Alexandrite's fight with Malachite]'' But there's no room for questions when she attacks, exhaling a burning blaze. So I call this segment… &quot;Breath of Fire!&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Sardonyx''': ''[talking to herself]'' There must be some common thread between Steven and Amethyst that's heightened by their fusion.
:'''Smoky''': I don't know, Sards, I guess, zero plus zero equals zero.
:'''Sardonyx''': Something they both think. Something they both do.
:'''Smoky''': They say two wrongs don't make a right-- I guess I'm living proof that ''that's'' true! ''[chuckles]'' I'm just one big super wrong, good-for-nothing dud with a yo-yo!
:''[The audience laughs louder hysterically]''
:'''Sardonyx''': ''[uncomfortably]'' They want to impress us! They were planning this all morning, we hijacked the show! I was excited. ''[covers her face in guilt]'' It's not about '''''US!'''''
:''[The studio lights go out and Smoky watches Sardonyx separating back into Pearl and Garnet; The room begins to fall apart as it lights up]''
:'''Smoky''': What's happening?!
:'''Garnet''': It's Sardonyx! If she's not here, the room can't exist!

===''Buddy's Book''===

===''Mindful Education''===
:'''Garnet''': For a fusion to work, there needs to be balance. An imbalance can cause your fusion to lose touch of reality, see things that aren't there, and eventually fall apart. That is to say, if one of you is falling apart, your fusion will as well. To find balance, you must understand your feelings. To understand your feelings, you must see them clearly without running from them.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''Take a moment to think of just''
:''Flexibility, love and trust''
:''Take a moment to think of just''
:''Flexibility, love and trust.''

:''Here comes a thought that might alarm you''
:''What someone said and how it harmed you''
:''Something you did that failed to be charming''
:''Things that you said are suddenly swarming.''

:''And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch''
:''All these little things seem to matter so much''
:''That they confuse you''
:''That I might lose you.''

:''Take a moment, remind yourself to''
:''Take a moment and find yourself''
:''Take a moment to ask yourself''
:''If this is how we fall apart''

:''But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not''
:''It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay''
:''You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear''
:''I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.''
&lt;hr width=25% /&gt;
:'''Stevonnie''': ''Here comes a thought that might alarm me''
:''What someone said and how it harmed me''
:''Something I did that failed to be charming''
:''Things that I said are suddenly swarming''

:''And, oh, I'm losing sight, I'm losing touch''
:''All these little things seem to matter so much''
:''That they confuse me''
:'''Both''': ''That I might lose me.''

:''Take a moment, remind yourself to''
:''Take a moment and find yourself''
:''Take a moment to ask yourself''
:''If this is how we fall apart''

:''But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not''
:''It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay''
:''I've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear''
:''I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.''

:''And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought''
:''It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay''
:''We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by''
:''From here, from here, from here.''

:'''Stevonnie''': ''Take a moment to think of just''
:''Flexibility, love and trust''
:''Take a moment to think of just''
:''Flexibility, love and trust.''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Stevonnie falls off the edge of the Sky Arena, un-fuses; Steven and Connie plummet down the sky in free fall]''
:'''Connie''': We're falling! Steven! Let's fuse! We can hover, we'll be okay! Steven? ''[sees Steven covering his face with his tears falling upwards into the sky]''
:'''Steven''': I didn't want to hurt anyone! ''[Connie swims over and grabs Steven]'' I'm sorry! None of them would let me help them! I had no choice!
:'''Connie''': It's okay!
:'''Steven''': No! It's not!
:'''Connie''': But it's okay to think about it!
:'''Steven''': It feels so bad!
:'''Connie''': That's okay, too! There was nothing else you could've done!
:'''Steven''': I don't want to feel this way...
:'''Connie''': You have to! ''[facing each other]'' You have to be honest about how bad it feels so you can move on! That's how it was for me.
:''[Steven pauses for a long beat, sniffles]''
:'''Steven''': Okay.

Note: this episode includes a song called Here Comes A Thought

===''Future Boy Zoltron''===

===''Last One Out of Beach City''===
:''[Pearl's aggressive driving draws the attention of a police car]''
:'''Steven''': The police want us!  
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, snap!  
:'''Pearl''': ''[gasps]'' What do I do?!  
:'''Steven''': You have to pull over to the side and show them your license.  
:'''Pearl''': I don't ''have'' a license!  
:'''Amethyst''': ''[chuckles uneasily]'' Oh, right.  
:'''Steven''' But... but you're old! 
:'''Pearl''': What was I supposed to tell the DMV? That I'm from another planet?! ''I'm not exactly a citizen, Steven!''   
:'''Steven''': Then what do we do?!  
:''[After a moment's thought, Pearl narrows her eyes, steps on the gas, speeds past the &quot;mystery woman&quot; and turns up the radio. Amethyst cheers, while Steven becomes more worried]''
:'''Steven''': Pearl, you can't just drive away! This is serious!   
:'''Amethyst''': Pearl, you're a total bad-- ''[is cut off by the screeching tyres as Pearl makes a sharp turn]''
:'''Pearl''': This is why we buckle up.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Steven, Amethyst and Pearl are walking alongside the road. Pearl stops abruptly]''
:'''Pearl''': I can't believe this.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[looks back]'' Huh?
:'''Pearl''': I was so ready! I really wanted to see your {{w|Mike Krol|Krol}}.
:'''Steven''': What are you talking about?
:'''Pearl''': ''[throws her jacket on the ground and struggles to get out of her jeans]'' I was going to drink a juice and wear these...ugh... pants! ''[falls over]'' ..And... ''[grunts]'' hit people gently enough as to not actually hurt them, and you'd say, &quot;Wow, Pearl is really cool!&quot; But ''nooo'', instead, we drove to loud music... ''[throws off her jeans]'' chased a mysterious woman into the night and broke the law. ''[groans]'' I've lost my edge. I should have stayed home with the puzzle. 
:''[Steven and Amethyst turn to each other]''
:'''Amethyst''': Listen to yourself. You're so hardcore! Who cares about pants? You gunned it from the cops!
:'''Steven''': That's the most scared I've been since you almost let me die! You're a criminal now!
:'''Pearl''': Now? ''[gets up on her feet, grinning]'' I've been a criminal for 6,000 years.

===''Gem Harvest''===
:''[Greg talks to his long-distant cousin Andy after telling him Rose is no longer with us]''
:'''Greg''': These people are... sorta like her family, so... I offered to let these two stay in the barn. 
:'''Andy''': Yeah? Oh, well, that was real nice of ya. But the barn's for the DeMayo family!
:'''Steven''': What's a DeMayo? ''[Andy looks shocked at him]''
:'''Andy''': Andy DeMayo, Greg DeMayo, Steven DeMayo. We're the DeMayos.
:'''Greg''': Actually, we're, um... the Universes now. ''[Andy is shocked and enraged]''
:'''Andy''': You space walnut! You didn't even keep the family name, but you're goin' around givin' family property out like candy on... some kind of... [[Halloween|candy-giving-out holiday]]?!
:'''Steven''': You're telling me &quot;Universe&quot; isn't a real last name?!
:'''Greg''': It is a real name! I had it changed! Andy, look, they just really needed a place. They're alien refugees from space and—
:'''Andy''': They're illegal ''aliens''?! Wh... You couldn't even marry an American?!
:'''Greg''': What does that matter?!
:'''Steven''': ''[to himself]'' DeMayo's a much cooler name than plain old Universe.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Pearl''': So Andy, we heard you like marriage, so we thought: why don't we all marry each other?!
:''[Peridot is holding a wedding cake with multiple figurines]'' 
:'''Peridot''': Ta-daa!
:''[Andy looks uneasy]'' 
:'''Pearl''': And if that's not human enough for you, we can throw in a little being born, and some dying!
:''[Garnet holds a balloon with &quot;It's a Boy&quot; printed on it, and Lapis gives Andy a headstone with &quot;RIP Andy&quot; on it]''
:'''Lapis''': ''[cheerful]'' We're very sorry for your marriage.

===''Three Gems and a Baby''===
:'''Greg''': ''I could never be''
:''I could never be''
:''I could never be ready for this''
:''I could never be''
:''I could never be''
:''I could never be ready''
:''Things start and things end''
:''And isn't it lovely in theory but''
:''I could never be''
:''I could never be''
:''I could never be ready'' 

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Greg''': These gifts are great, but Steven's just too young for this stuff. Nowadays he's really into this. ''[swinging a keychain carabiner] [singing] Carabiner! Carabiner! [Baby Steven laughs]''
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa, he loves it! ''[takes the carabiner, swings it]'' Hey, 'lil Steven!
:'''Pearl''': Hm, he's certainly captivated with those things.
:'''Garnet''': Well, next time, we'll just bring a big box of keys for Steven.
:''[Baby Steven's gem glows]''
:'''Amethyst''': Whoa!
:'''Greg''': ''[gasps]''
:'''Garnet''': Oh!
:'''Pearl''': Wha?!
:'''Greg''': What's happening to him?
:'''Garnet''': It's... Rose.
:'''Pearl''': Is that possible?
:'''Greg''': '''''Is he gonna turn into a laser?!'''''
:'''Amethyst''': Relax, y'all. I got it all figured out. Rose is trying to shapeshift back to her old self.
:'''Greg''': What?!
:'''Pearl''': She can't shapeshift because ''she's trapped in a baby!''
:'''Greg''': Trapped in a baby?!
:'''Pearl''': ''[to Baby Steven's gem]'' Rose? Rose, it's me, Pearl. Are you in there? Glow twice for yes. ''[Baby Steven grabs Pearl's nose]'' Baby, please. I'm trying to talk to Rose.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': You ''kidnapped'' me?!
:'''Amethyst''': Yep.
:'''Garnet''': Some of our actions were a bit regrettable.
:'''Pearl''': At the time, we thougth it'd be better to handle things our way.
:'''Amethyst''': Nah, we straight up 'napped you.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': All right, Rose. We saw that glow. So why are you still a baby? Is it really fun or something? ''[shapeshifts into a baby]'' Garnet, hold me. ''[Garnet holds her]'' All right, I get it. This rules. But it's been '''so long,''' like months! That's longer than I was a toilet!

===''Steven's Dream''===
:''[as Steven walks up to the Beach House, he stops to face Greg]''
:'''Steven''': Dad, before you go, can I ask you something?
:'''Greg''': Yeah, of course!
:'''Steven''': Did Mom ever talk to you about... Pink Diamond?
:'''Greg''': There were some things your mom didn't like to talk about. I never pressed her for details.
:'''Steven''': Why not? ''[Greg pauses, sits down next to Steven on the steps]''
:'''Greg''': Rose and I talked about tons of important stuff. Music, comic books, getting sand between your toes, y'know, feelings. We both made a lot of mistakes when we were young. I thought disco was coming back, she started a war—I think she felt like she needed to confess everything to me, but I told her, &quot;The past is the past. All that matters to me is who you are now.&quot; And who she was, was an incredible, loving being. ''[Steven hugs Greg]''
:'''Steven''': Night, Dad.
:'''Greg''': Night, Steven.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[shows Buddy Budwick's journal to the Gems]'' Hey, do you know anything about this thing? ''[Amethyst takes a closer look]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hmm. Steven, you deserve to know the truth. And the truth is... I have no idea what that thing is, I've never seen it before in my life.
:'''Pearl''': Excuse me, Amethyst, allow me. ''[sees illustration of the Palanquin]'' Uh, well... it appears to be an illustration in some kind of journal.
:'''Steven''': C'mon, you know what I mean. I had a dream where I saw this thing. Connie and I were wondering if maybe...
:'''Pearl''': ''[stammers]'' S-Steven, why don't you and Connie— ''[Garnet interrupts her]''
:'''Garnet''': You can't go there! ''[everyone stares at Garnet for a beat]''
:'''Steven''': ..Why not?
:'''Amethyst''': ''[shady]'' Yeah, why not? ''[Garnet hesitates. Steven sighs and closes the journal]''
:'''Steven''': I thought you were going to tell me everything from now on.
:'''Pearl''': Oh, Steven... we—
:'''Steven''': ''[points Palanquin illustration]'' Does this have anything to do with Pink Diamond?! I already know Mom shattered her, so what is it about this that you can't tell me?! ''[Pearl winces to Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': Please! You're making Pearl very upset.
:'''Steven''': No! ''I'm'' very upset! ''[Connie and Amethyst back away]''
:'''Garnet''': We're--not--going. Rose never wanted you to see this place.
:'''Steven''': &quot;Rose wanted...&quot; ''[growls]'' What about what '''''I''''' want?! ''[points at Garnet]'' I'm sick of everyone lying to me! Rose is ''my'' mom! Out of anyone! Don't I deserve to know the truth?! ''[Amethyst offers a box of popcorn to Connie, who declines]''
:'''Garnet''': This isn't the time.
:'''Steven''': '''I don't ''care''!!''' I wanna go there now!!
:'''Garnet''': ''Steven''!
:'''Connie''': I'm sorry... I... I shouldn't have brought the book.
:'''Steven''': Yes, you should've brought it. It's lucky something has some information that I don't have to get out of '''''them''!!'''

===''Adventures In Light Distortion''===
:'''Steven''': If being a pancake means saving my dad, then bring on the syrup!

===''Gem Heist''===
:'''Steven''': We just need disguises. I'll be Esteban Universedad!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, it doesn't matter what your name is. We're all going to stand out!
:''[Garnet defuses into Ruby and Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': We won't stand out if we play the roles we were made for.
:'''Steven''': Ruby! Sapphire!
:'''Ruby''': Okay, everybody. Hear her out.
:'''Sapphire''': Today, I'm a Sapphire traveling with my Ruby guard…
:'''Ruby''': ''[approvingly]'' Hm.
:'''Sapphire''': And my personal Pearl…
:'''Pearl''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Sapphire''': Esteban, I've brought you as an offering for the Zoo.
:'''Steven''': ''Pobrecito Esteban!''
:'''Amethyst''': Uh, what about me?
:'''Sapphire''': You're accompanying me as extra muscle.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[points to the Amethyst guards at the entrance]'' Muscle like them?
:'''Sapphire''': Exactly.
:'''Amethyst''': But I've never even ''seen'' another Amethyst before. What do I do? What if I say something wrong?
:'''Sapphire''': Just look the part. You're new and we're rusty, but we just have to sell this long enough to find Greg.
:'''Pearl''': Is this really going to work?
:'''Sapphire''': No. ''[they all gasp]'' Just… stick together. Play it straight! Let's… change the future! ''[smiles crookedly]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Amethyst Guard''': State your purpose.
:'''Sapphire''': I'm here to make a delivery to the human zoo.
:'''Amethyst Guard''': Bad news-- the human zoo shut down. Which means, ''[crouches down into Steven's face]'' we'll just have throw you into space.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': That door is how we get to dad. We just need to come up with a distraction.
:'''Ruby''': Got it.
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': As a one-way access point, there are no risks of an escape. In fact, it's only been used once, for a human --
:'''Ruby''': &lt;big&gt;'''''EXPLOSION!'''''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': We've gotta open this door.
:'''Ruby''': Right. Right. Pearl, open it!
:'''Pearl''': Of course. What else am I good for?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Sapphire''': ''[loudly to alert Steven, Pearl and Ruby] I am so glad we're almost back! I was really enjoying the tour!''
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': Yes, I can tell by the tone of your voice. Thank you so much for averting that crisis. ''[stops at seeing the damage to the door, inspects it]'' What is going on?!
:'''Sapphire''': Oh. Well, I'm sure there's a reasonable --
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': Did you see the Amethysts that did this? ''[they sigh in relief] [inspects one of the marks]'' Really, we have guests...
:'''Amethyst Guard''': Holly Blue Agate, we have important news for you!
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': We do not run '''or ''&lt;big&gt;SHOUT IN THESE HALLWAYS!&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:'''Amethyst Guard''': ''[quieter]'' I'm sorry, it's just that --
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': How am I supposed to know what you're saying when you're ''mumbling?''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': I'll just find my dad without pants...

===''The Zoo''===
===''That Will Be All''===
:''[An Amethyst Guard throws Steven and Greg into a room of Amethysts and Jaspers]''
:'''Homeworld Amethyst''': These the ones?
:'''Amethyst''': Steven! Greg! They found me out!
:'''Steven''': Ameythst!
:'''Amethyst''': You won't believe what I've been through! These Amethysts, they're really, really... ''great!''
:'''Steven''': What?! ''[all of the Quartz soldiers laugh]''
:'''Homeworld Amethyst''': ''[laughing]'' Your faces!
:'''Amethyst 8XL''': ''[laughing]'' You were right. That was priceless!
:'''Amethyst''': ''[hugs Steven]'' I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had to! What are you wearing? Greg, this is a good look for you.
:'''Steven''': What is going on?
:'''Amethyst''': These Amethysts, they're all from Earth! They're from the Prime Kindergarten! Wait. Hey, 8XL!
:'''Amethyst 8XL''': Yeah?
:'''Amethyst''': You guys, I'm an 8! Tell them, tell them!
:'''Amethyst 8XL''': The Amethyst under me never popped out. We were all waiting and, nothing.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm 8XM! Facet 5, Cut 8XM! That's me! This is 8XG, this is 8XH…
:'''Amethyst 8XJ''': I'm J.
:'''Amethyst''': Oh, geez! Sorry, I'm worse than Holly Blue!
:'''Amethyst 8XJ''': Aren't we all?
:'''&quot;Skinny&quot; Jasper''': Prime, Prime, Prime. You Amethysts are so cliquey.
:'''Amethyst''': Skinny's a Jasper! There are gems here from the Beta Kindergarten, too. Hey, where's Carnelian?
:'''&quot;Skinny&quot; Jasper''': Celebrating.
:'''Carnelian''': ''[carries Amethyst]'' I'm not the shortest anymore!
:'''Greg''': This is unreal.
:'''Steven''': Hey! Please, if you don't mind me asking, we really need your help. We came in with Sapphire, Ruby, and Pearl. We've gotta find them and get them out of-
:''[The door behind them suddenly opens up, revealing Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Holly Blue Agate standing in the doorway]''
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': I'll only be a moment. ''[enters the room as Steven and Greg quickly hide behind an Amethyst Guard]'' What are you all doing in here?! Get to your stations! Even you hideous off-color Betas! Get out of your cubbies and into your places! It's the least you can do for the Diamond that kept you worthless sorry Gems in service! That's right. Blue is back already! Now go pretend your filthy vein of Quartz is capable of ''gratitude!'' Go, go, go!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Please tell me you're joking. You only just left, and you're already back?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Yellow. Wh-what are you doing here?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I'm here to bring you back to reality, Blue.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I'm fine. Just leave me alone.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's been thousands of years, Blue, and you still bring yourself to destroy these Gems? She was shattered by a Rose Quartz! The entire cut of Gem deserves the same fate!
:'''Blue Diamond''': But they were ''hers.''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': They should be ''wiped'' out of existence, not kept safe in bubbles!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Yellow, she made them. This is all we have left of her. These Gems, this place, and the Earth.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': I thought we agreed we need to put that planet and this whole debacle behind us.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Why can't you just let me grieve?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': You can't keep coming here forever!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Why not?!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[sighs; to her Pearl]'' Pearl, do something. Sing for her. Make her feel better.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Yes, my Diamond. Ahem. ''[turns to Blue Pearl]'' Ahem!
:'''Blue Pearl''': Uh… Oh.
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': ''[harmonizing]'' ♫ Aah ha haa, aah ha haa / Aah haa, haa haa, haa haa, haaa / Aah ha haa, aah ha haa / Aah haa, haa haa, haa haa, ha haa haaaa ♫
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ♫ Why would you want to be here? / What do you ever see here / That doesn't make you feel worse than you do? / And tell me, what's the use of feeling, Blue? / Why would you want to employ her subjects that destroyed her? / Why keep up her silly zoo? Oh, tell me / What's the use of feeling, Blue? / An army has a use, they can go and fight a war / A sapphire has a use, she can tell you what it's for / An agate terrifies, a lapis terraforms / Where's their diamond when they need her, Blue? / You've got be a leader, Blue! / Yes, of course, we still love her / And we're always thinking of her / But now there's nothing we can do / So tell me / What's the use of feeling? / What's the use of feeling? / What's the use of feeling, Blue? / Oh, how can you stand to be here with it all? ♫
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': ♫ Here with it all ♫
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ♫ Drowning in all this regret? / Wouldn't you rather forget her? Ohhhhh / Won't it be grand to get rid of it all?
:'''Yellow and Blue Pearl''': ♫ Rid of it all ♫
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ♫ Let's make a plan of attack / Start looking forward and stop looking back, oh / Yes, of course, we still love her / And we're always thinking of her / Don't you know I miss her too? / But tell me / What's the use of feeling? / What's the use of feeling? / What's the use of feeling? / Hmm hm hmmm, hmm hm hmmm / Hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmmm hmmmm...♫

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': My Diamond. My gracious, wondrous, luminous, lustrous Diamond…sss? ''[gasps in surprise as she notices Yellow Diamond]'' Oh, my! It's truly an honor to bask in your radiance…ses.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Get to the point, Agate.
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': ''[clears throat]'' Yes, of course. My deepest apologies. You'll be pleased to know that your Sapphire has completed your special delivery.
:'''Blue Diamond''': What special delivery?
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': Um, the special delivery you requested from Earth, of course.
:'''Blue Diamond''': I never asked any Sapphire to go to Earth.
:'''Sapphire''': I… Um… ''[nervously starts freezing up]''
:'''Steven''': ''[whispering]'' Oh, no! She's freezing up!
:'''Sapphire''': My…future vision foresaw you, my Diamond, desiring more…humans for the zoo. So I…acted accordingly.
:'''Blue Diamond''': It's true. The window preserving Earth's specimens is closing.
:''[Steven sighs in relief]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Is that what you want? Sapphire, has the Cluster emerged yet?
:'''Sapphire''': No, it has not.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Then there's still time. That will be all. ''[claps twice]''
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': ''[bows]'' My Diamonds.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': ''[as Steven, Greg, and the Crystal Gems try to stealthily file past her]'' It's a shame, though. This outpost is so remote, I was beginning to think we'd been forgotten. But we haven't! Two diamonds, one day! What an honor! I don't think anything can spoil this for me! ''[turns and catches the group frozen while boarding the Roaming Eye]'' What… is… '''''THE MEANING OF THIS?!''' ''[the Quartz soldiers appear to watch in the doorway watching behind her]'' Why are these two outside the contanment area?!
:'''Sapphire''': Holly Blue, I can explain…
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': No need, your Clarity. Not even ''you'' could have forseen how '''''incompetent''''' these Amethysts are. Well, if you want something done right... ''[summons an electrified whip from her gem]''... you just do it yourself. ''[to Steven and Greg]'' You two are coming with me!
:''[Holly Blue Agate swings her whip at Steven and Greg. Sapphire and Ruby fuse into Garnet and catch it, stunning Holly Blue Agate and the Quartz soldiers]''
:'''Steven and Greg''': Garnet!
:'''Garnet''': Steven, get Greg on board.
:'''Greg''': Yes, please!
:'''Garnet''': We'll handle this noise.
:''[Pearl severs Holly Blue Agate's whip. Amethyst catches it and wraps her up with it to the amusement of the Quartz soldiers]''
:'''Garnet''': ''[approaches Holly Blue Agate, summons her right gauntlet]'' I've been waiting to do this all day... ''[hits Holly Blue Agate with her left hand, knocking her down]''
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': ''[to the Quartz soldiers laughing at her]'' What are you doing?! They're traitors! Destroy them!
:'''Amethyst''': ''[kisses and waves to the Quartz soldiers]'' Famethyst for life!
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': ''[as the whip fades]'' I'll report you to the Diamonds! All of you! You'll all be '''''shattered!'''''
:'''Pearl''': You're really going to tell the Diamonds that you allowed a band of traitorous rebels to infiltrate a highly secure facility and escape from right under your careful watch? ''[inhales sharply]'' Doesn't sound like a wise thing to do, Holly Blue. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut. That will be all.
:''[Holly Blue groans in misery while the Quartz soldiers wave their goodbyes to the Crystal Gems as they take off and leave the zoo]''
:'''Greg''': Thanks so much for coming to get me. That has to be, like, the third craziest weekend I've ever had.
:'''Steven''': Dad, I'm really sorry I got you into all this. This whole thing started 'cause… I wanted answers.
:'''Greg''': You don't have to be sorry about a thing. I hope you found what you were looking for.
:'''Steven''': I did. I found you.

===''The New Crystal Gems''===
:'''Lapis''': Who is this, and what is she doing in Steven's house?
:'''Peridot''': That's Steven's ''third'' best friend after me and you.
:'''Connie''': Um, Lapis, you don't remember me?
:'''Lapis''': Hmm…
:'''Connie''': You almost ''drowned'' me when you tried to steal the world's water.
:'''Lapis''': ''[awkwardly]'' I almost drowned a lot of people.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': To do the job of the Crystal Gems, we need to ''do the jobs'' of the Crystal Gems! We four--
:'''Connie''': Four?
:'''Peridot''': I'm counting Pumpkin. 
:''[Pumpkin barks happily]''
:'''Peridot''': We each need to pick someone from the original team, and perform their role in the group! We'll be exactly like them - but better!
:'''Connie''': That... sort of makes sense.
:'''Peridot''': I call Garnet! I'm obviously best suited to be the boss.
:'''Lapis''': You ''are'' very bossy.
:'''Peridot''': ''[happily]'' Thank you!
:'''Connie''': Then I'll do what Steven does.
:'''Peridot''': Lapis, you could be Amethyst.
:'''Lapis''': Which one is she? ''[awkward silence]'' I'm joking.
:'''Peridot''': Great! You're already in character!
:'''Connie''': What about your pumpkin?
:'''Peridot''': Whatever. She can be Pearl.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Peridot''': Am I doing it? Am I as aloof and distant as the Garnet?!
:'''Lapis''': You were, ''[imitating Amethyst]'' until you started to ask so many questions! ''[does a snorting laugh]''
 
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Connie''': ''[narrating]'' The wash was a wash. And so were the New Crystal Gems.
:'''Peridot''': I've been doing a lot of thinking about what's been going wrong with this team-up, and I think it's obvious now that the problem is ''ALL OF YOU!'' Connie, you completely lacked Steven's sentimentality. He would have had a ''much'' more inspiring speech yesterday. Lapis, your lack of humour has been hurting our morale. Maybe you should switch with Pumpkin.
:'''Lapis''': Let's make Pumpkin the Garnet. ''You'' should be the ''Pearl''.
:'''Peridot''': I'm nothing like Pearl! She's so uptight and sensitive! ''[melodramatic]'' How dare you?! I'm leaving!
:'''Lapis''': ''[sarcastic]'' That's so funny, you should be Amethyst.
:'''Peridot''': That's so dumb, ''you'' should be a ''clod!''
:'''Lapis''': Oh, so now ''I'm'' a clod? I think ''you're'' the clod.
:'''Peridot''': Wow, your Peridot impression is lousy too!
:'''Connie''': ''WILL YOU TWO CAN IT?!''
:'''Lapis''': ''[stunned]'' That's not a very &quot;Steven&quot; thing to say.
:'''Connie''': I don't care! So I'm not Steven! Maybe he's really great at helping people work out these arguments! Maybe he's really patient and caring, even though it must be hard for him having to be the adult for a bunch of superpowered children!
:'''Lapis''': We're both thousands of years older than you.
:'''Connie''': Then act like it! Be the Gems you've been for thousands of years instead of playing this silly game. It's impossible trying to solve problems if we're just trying to copy other people! Oh, what's the point of this? We'll never be the Crystal Gems, we're just the Crystal... Temps. But we have our own way of doing things. So let's go back to that, to fix this mess we made.
:'''Lapis''': ''[amazed]'' You ''do'' make a good Steven.
:'''Connie''': Watch it!

===''Storm in the Room''===

:'''Dr. Maheswaran''': ''[through answering service] You've reached Dr. Maheswaran. Please leave a message, and if you're one of my patients, you shouldn't have this number!''
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Steven''': Well, while we're still waiting, how about another Weird Word Game?
:'''Connie''': Okay.
:'''Steven''': All right. Let's see what we got here. First one is an adjective.
:'''Connie''': ''[growing increasingly upset]'' Accidental.
:'''Steven''': ''[writes it down]'' &quot;Accidental.&quot; And the next one's a noun.
:'''Connie''': Mishap.
:'''Steven''': ''[writes it down]'' &quot;Mishap.&quot; Adverb?
:'''Connie''': Unexpectedly.
:'''Steven''': ''[writes it down] [concerned]'' Past tense verb?
:'''Connie''': Crashed.
:'''Steven''': Noun?
:'''Connie''': Explosion!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': Uh, hey, room. It's been a bit, huh? Is that a new cloud? ''[laughs weakly]'' So, I suppose you're wondering why I'm here. I know nothing in here is real, but... I want to see my mom.
:''[a cloud appears as Rose]''
:'''Rose''': Hello, Steven.
:'''Steven''': Um... ''[stammers]'' It's nice to meet you.
:'''Rose''': ''[laughs, shakes his hand]'' It's nice to meet you, too. 

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': This is fun. ''[throws football]'' Or would [[Steven Universe (season 3)#Hit the Diamond|baseball]] be better?
:'''Rose''': Steven, all sports are beautiful. Each sport is a unique experience. ''[jumps and catches the football]'' The adrenaline, the glory, the sheer feats of athleticism. ''[lands gracefully]'' Each one so complicated and yet, exactly the same.
:'''Steven''': ''[star-eyed]'' Whoa...

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': Wow. This is nice. It's really nice. I... I should've tried this a long time ago.
:'''Rose''': But Steven, don't you realize? We've been together this whole time.
:'''Steven''': Oh! That-that's-that's right. Oh, this is the first time we've hung out together. I gotta capture this moment. ''[takes out his phone, sees only a black void surrounding him]'' There's nothing here but me. I'm just... talking to myself. ''[stands]'' You're not my mom.
:'''Rose''': I’m not?
:'''Steven''': This is how I want you to be, but I don't know if this is who you really are. ''[the room darkens ominously]'' I've learned things about you. Things you wanted to keep secret. You locked Bismuth away inside Lion because she wanted to shatter gems, and you never told Garnet or Pearl. But then you shattered Pink Diamond. Now all of Homeworld has it out for Earth, and the Crystal Gems, and me! You put us all in danger and you just DISAPPEARED!!!!!!
:''[Steven is blown around by a gust of wind while Rose hovers over him]''
:'''Steven''': I finally know the truth! I know what you are! You're a LIAR!!! I thought you never wanted to hurt anyone, but you hurt EVERYONE!!! How could you just leave Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and dad alone?! They don't know what to do without you! Maybe they didn't matter to you as much as hiding from the mess you made! And that's why I'm here, isn't it?! Did you make me just so you wouldn't have to deal with all your mistakes?! ''[collapses]'' Is that all I'm here for?
:'''Rose''': ''[stands in front of Steven]'' Steven, you know that isn't true. In [[Steven Universe (season 1)#Lion 3: Straight to Video|the tape I left you]], I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist. Do you think what I said to you in the tape was a lie?
:'''Steven''': ''[pause]'' No. I'm sure... I'm sure you meant it.
:''[Steven and Rose hug. It begins to rain.]''
:'''Steven''': I get it. I know you didn't want me to deal with your problems. But you're a part of me, now. And I have to deal with what you left behind.

===''Rocknaldo''===
===''Tiger Philanthropist''===
===''Room for Ruby''===
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': Hey Steven, hit that button behind you and I'll show you what this baby can really do.
:'''Steven''': Uh, you mean the one right here?
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': Yeah, that's the one!
:'''Steven''': ''[runs over to the button]'' I'm gonna press it!
:''[Once Steven presses the button, the captain's seat is encased in a light tube, while the lights are turned off. The hatches open and everybody, except &quot;Navy&quot;, is hanging on the edges of the door]''
:'''Steven''': Navy! Hello! Navy! I think something's wrong with the ship!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': The only thing wrong is that you're still holding on! ''[laughs]''
:'''Steven''': Wait, so all this time, all you wanted was your ship?! You could've just stolen it to begin with!
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': I could have done that, but then I would have never gotten to see the look on your face when you were tricked by your favorite little Ruby! ''[laughs]''
:'''Lapis''': What?!
:'''Peridot''': Hey! I can't hear what's happening! Is Navy showing us the ocean? Oh 'cause this is a heck of a way to do it!
:'''Lapis''': You! Dirty little—
:''[Lapis tries to climb inside the ship, but &quot;Navy&quot; maneuvers the ship to throw everybody, except herself, off in the ocean]''
:'''&quot;Navy&quot; Ruby''': Bye bye!

===''Lion 4: Alternate Ending''===
:'''Steven''': Mom, who were you? Who am I? Garnet... Amethyst... Pearl... They won't say it, but I know they expect something big from me. But how can I fulfil my destiny if I don't even know what it is? Who am I supposed to be? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Steven pauses the &quot;For Nora&quot; videotape and turns to Greg]''
:'''Steven''': No! I don't understand. Why is this the same as the video you guys made me? Who's Nora? ''[Greg pauses, wipes his tears]''
:'''Greg''': Nora is you. ''[Steven pauses, freaks out]''
:'''Steven''': I'm my mom ''and'' my sister?! What kind of destiny is this?!
:'''Greg''': ''[chuckles]'' No, no. We just had it down to two names—Steven if you were a boy, and Nora if you were a girl.
:'''Steven''': So, then, would Nora have the magical destiny if I wasn't here? 
:'''Greg''': Magical destiny? I don't know about that.
:'''Steven''': But Mom did! She was trying to tell me something with ''my'' tape! She keeps leaving me puzzle pieces. Sooner or later, I'm going to understand what I'm for! 
:'''Greg''': Whoa, Steven! It's okay! C'mere, c'mere. ''[Steven sits down on the van; Greg sits beside him]''
:'''Steven''': Am I supposed to be... D-did she want me to be Nora?
:'''Greg''': Steven, she just wanted you to be you. When you have a kid, you have no idea who they're gonna be. Even Garnet couldn't predict it. That's what was so exciting to your mom, that life is full of so many possibilities, and you would get to explore them for yourself. I mean, you could be Steven or Nora or anyone else. And you can always change your name! Hey, I did.

===''Doug Out''===

===''The Good Lars''===

===''Are You My Dad?''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Sour Cream. Putting on a big rave tonight?
:'''Sour Cream''': Oh, the fliers? No, it's Onion. ''[shows one declaring Onion missing]'' He's been missing for a couple of days now. My mom and Yellowdad are starting to get worried. You haven't seen him around lately, have you?
:'''Steven''': No. Have you checked his favorite hiding spot in the woods?
:'''Sour Cream''': Sure did.
:'''Steven''': What about inside the vending machine at Funland?
:'''Sour Cream''': No luck. Blew a dollar checking, too.
:'''Steven''': What about that top secret room inside your house?
:'''Sour Cream''': You mean his office? Of course. 

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Barb''': I only came over to drop off Sadie's lunch. She wasn't home last night, so I figured I'd bring it here. But the place was completely empty. Maybe it's some sort of baker's holiday. Certainly not a Federal one!
:'''Steven''': Sadie never came home last night?
:'''Barb''': Eh, she's an adult. Probably just snuck off for another &quot;island adventure&quot; with her boyfriend.
:'''Steven''': That couldn't be. They were going to go to a party together, but Lars never showed. And when me and Sadie left, she said she was going home. And now Sour Cream is looking everywhere for Onion. And I was expecting a package today from Jamie, but he... he never delivered it.
:'''Barb''': A package? You mean one about yay big, two pounds, maybe four ounces?
:'''Steven''': ''[gasps]'' My distinguished khakis! Did you see Jamie with them?
:'''Barb''': I did this morning, just before sending him off to your place.
:'''Steven''': ''[examines Onion's missing poster and video cassette]'' Barb, this might be serious.
  
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:'''Steven''': Well, Sour Cream was right. Onion wasn't in the vending machine... and neither was anybody else. ''[eats chips]''
:'''Aquamarine''': Are you my dad?
:'''Steven''': ''[notices her gem]'' Aha! A gem!
:'''Aquamarine''': Are you... my dad? I need to find my dad.
:'''Steven''': N-no, I-I'm not. ''[she flies away]'' Wait, wait! '''''Don't leave me with another enigma!'''''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:''[Steven inspects Connie, Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet's drawings of Aquamarine]''
:'''Connie''': ''[sketch resembles Aquamarine]'' I think I made one eye bigger than the other.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[drawing resembles a winged creature]'' I was going for a feeling.
:'''Pearl''': ''[drawing resembles Lapis and has been signed]'' Honestly, I can't even draw a circle. ''[laughs nervously]''
:'''Steven''': Okay, Garnet, you just drew yourself.
:'''Garnet''': Uh, I like me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;

:''[Steven and Connie are searching for the missing people at Onion's hiding spot in the forest. Aquamarine lands on a tree branch behind Connie.]''
:'''Connie''': Steven! It's the gem!
:'''Steven''': ''[pokes his head out of a log]'' What?
:'''Connie''': She looks just like my drawing. ''[to Aquamarine]'' Come on. You  don't have to be afraid, we'll help you. Jump down into my arms. My body will break your fall.
:'''Aquamarine''': Are you my dad?
:'''Connie''': What? No, I'm not your dad. We can help you find your dad --
:'''Aquamarine''': I'm not looking for ''your'' dad. I'm looking for ''my'' dad. I need to find ''my'' dad.
:'''Connie''': Right... Well, we'll help you.
:'''Steven''': ''[has gotten stuck in the log]'' Connie! Connie, wait! be careful.
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[interested]'' Connie. Are you Connie?
:'''Connie''': Yes! I'm Connie. Me, Connie. Connie, friend.
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[laughs, flies off the tree branch]'' Topaz! I've found one! I've found one! I've found a Connie!
:'''Connie''': ''[worried]'' Steven...? ''[unsheathes sword]''
:'''Steven''': Connie!
:''[Steven and Connie are distracted as Topaz emerges with Lars, Sadie, Jamie and Onion trapped in her torso]''
:'''Connie''': Another gem! She-she has everyone!
:'''Steven''': Let them go!
:''[Topaz unfuses, then rushes around Connie and imprisons her while fusing again]''
:'''Steven''': '''''Connie!''' [breaks out of the log]''
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[lands on Topaz's head]'' Look at those organics squirming around.
:'''Steven''': ''[summons his shield]'' Give me back my friends!
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[dismissively]'' Don't bother listening to that Steven. He's not my dad. 
:''[Aquamarine uses her bow as a wand, uses it to grab Steven in an energy field, then spins and throws him into a tree]''
:'''Aquamarine''': Now all we need is my dad and we're out of here! Can't believe they wasted an Aquamarine on a job like this. It's so easy, you could have done it yourself, Topaz!
:'''Steven''': ''[falling unconscious]'' No... you can't... take them...

===''I Am My Mom''===
:'''Steven''': THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!
:'''Pearl''': Why is Homeworld stealing humans from the boardwalk?!
:'''Steven''': I don't know, but they're only taking my friends! They even got Connie! If we don't do something, they're going to take them up into space!
:'''Amethyst''': And our spaceship got jacked. So if they leave Earth…
:'''Garnet''': They'll be gone for good.
:'''Amethyst''': Ugh. Who were these guys?
:'''Steven''': That little Gem I saw before, her name's Aquamarine.
:'''Pearl''': What?!
:'''Steven''': She's got a big friend… a fusion, named Topaz.
:'''Pearl''': A Topaz fusion and an Aquamarine?
:'''Amethyst''': Are they a big deal?
:'''Pearl''': Uhh, yes! Blue and Yellow Diamond must have sent them personally!
:'''Steven''': The Diamonds? Oh, no! They must be collecting more humans for the zoo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Steven and the Gems square off against Aquamarine and Topaz in Funland]''
:'''Aquamarine''': We're not here for any of you rogue Gems. We'll leave you totally alone… ''[turns severe]'' '''''IF''''' you tell us where we can find my dad.
:'''Steven''': I don't know what you're talking about!
:'''Aquamarine''': Let's see. Yellow Diamond asked for &quot;uh, my dad, a Connie, a Lars, a Sadie, a mailman, and an Onion, I think&quot;. Six human variations specified in a report by Peridot 5XG.
:''[Steven gasps, immediately recalls back talking to Peridot in the Kindergarten underground for the first time in &quot;Marble Madness&quot;]''
:'''Steven''': (&quot;Oh, no. There's lots of humans. There's my dad, Connie, Lars and Sadie, the mailman, Onion... I think.&quot;)
:''[come back to Steven feeling shocked and upset realizing this]''
:'''Steven''': The list! I gave them the list.
:'''Pearl''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': Aquamarine doesn't have a dad! She's looking for someone named &quot;My Dad&quot;! This is all my fault!
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry about that now. Our objective's still the same. Beat the Gems…
:'''Steven''': Save our friends!
:'''Aquamarine''': Hey, Topaz, look! They want to lose another fight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Aquamarine''': Ugh, this is getting annoying. Hey, Topaz, can you remind me? I mean, my memory ''is'' perfect, but our orders were to bring back these six humans, but I'm just not sure. Did they specify... ''alive?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Aquamarine''': Ugh. If I ever get sent on another mission to Earth again, it'll be ''too soon. [sits in pilot's chair] What'' an ordeal. But the Diamonds needed me. That's the burden of being the best.
:'''Jamie''': WHAT JUSTICE IS IN THERE IN SUCH A GROSS TANGLING OF SYMBOLS?!
:'''Aquamarine''': Will you stop?! You're ruining my moment!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Aquamarine freezes Onion, Sadie, Connie, Jamie and Alexandrite trying to escape her spaceship; she talks to Steven]''
:'''Aquamarine''': Nice try. But it's hopeless, My Dad. I can't go back to Homeworld without getting what the Diamonds want. 
:''[Steven looks back at his friends frozen in mid-air; he pauses and admits to her]''
:'''Steven''': ..I'm... not My Dad.
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[stern]'' What?
:'''Steven''': I'm ''not'' My Dad!
:'''Aquamarine''': How much longer is this mission going to take?!
:'''Steven''': Well, I can end it for you, right now.
:'''Aquamarine''': Oh, really?
:'''Steven''': I'm someone the Diamonds will want more than any of these humans. The leader of the Crystal Gem rebellion, the Gem that shattered Pink Diamond. I'm not My Dad... ''[lifts his shirt to reveal his gem to her]'' I'm my mom! I'm Rose Quartz!
:'''Aquamarine''': ''[gasps, deactivates her wand]'' No way. ''[Alexandrite un-fuses as everyone falls into the ocean]''
:'''Connie''': Steven?!
:'''Pearl''': No, don't! Steven!!
:'''Amethyst''': What are you doing?!
:'''Steven''': ''[turns back]'' I get it now! I'm the only one who can stop what she started! I can stop all of it!
:'''Garnet''': You're wrong! Steven, get down here!
:'''Steven''': She wouldn't have wanted this! But I do.
:'''Amethyst''': I'm gonna kick your butt if you don't come down here right now! ''[Steven pauses and walks back into Aquamarine's ship; Pearl breaks down as she watches helplessly]''
:'''Pearl''': Steven... ''[the door begins to close behind Steven, Aquamarine and Topaz]''
:'''Connie''': No! Don't you dare!! ''[Steven turns back before closing]''
:'''Steven''': I love you.
:'''Connie''': NO! STOP!! ''[the door closes and Aquamarine's ship warps into space instantly]'' &lt;big&gt;''STEVEN''!!&lt;/big&gt;

[[Category:Steven Universe seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Turkey</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>200805</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154851</id>
      <parentid>3154020</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T09:58:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>112.204.175.238</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Turkey map.svg|thumb|right|Map of Turkey]]
Turkey is a country before now all to that be have now all
shall that I am to that stop and we have
thank you.


==See also==
*[[Turkey]]
{{main|Turkey}}

[[Category:Countries in Western Asia]]
[[Category:Countries in Southern Europe]]
[[Category:Middle East]]
[[Category:Transcontinental countries]]</text>
      <sha1>nplceiuxdlrhhvmghnuel6te7yztfhg</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154852</id>
      <parentid>3154851</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T09:59:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>112.204.175.238</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="427" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Turkey map.svg|thumb|right|Map of Turkey]]
Turkey is a country before now all to that be have now all
shall that I am to that stop and we have
thank you.

That we have now all

* NOTE: Please the Turkey
* NOTE: That is that before


==See also==
*[[Turkey]]
{{main|Turkey}}

[[Category:Countries in Western Asia]]
[[Category:Countries in Southern Europe]]
[[Category:Middle East]]
[[Category:Transcontinental countries]]</text>
      <sha1>nz3n6j1o05ezgpjmst8qjbx07e994jc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154853</id>
      <parentid>3154852</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T10:00:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>112.204.175.238</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="462" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Turkey map.svg|thumb|right|Map of Turkey]]
Turkey is a country before now all to that be have now all
shall that I am to that stop and we have
thank you.

That we have now all

* NOTE: Please the Turkey
* NOTE: That is that before
* NOTE: The turkey we have now all


==See also==
*[[Turkey]]
{{main|Turkey}}

[[Category:Countries in Western Asia]]
[[Category:Countries in Southern Europe]]
[[Category:Middle East]]
[[Category:Transcontinental countries]]</text>
      <sha1>bb28cuxl17gvrp9y1sva9838de64352</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154854</id>
      <parentid>3154853</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T10:01:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>112.204.175.238</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="461" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Turkey map.svg|thumb|right|Map of Turkey]]
Turkey is a country before now all to that be have now all
shall that I am to that stop and we have
thank you.

That we have now all

* NOTE: Please the Turkey
* NOTE: That is that before
* NOTE: The turkey we have now all

==See also==
*[[Turkey]]
{{main|Turkey}}

[[Category:Countries in Western Asia]]
[[Category:Countries in Southern Europe]]
[[Category:Middle East]]
[[Category:Transcontinental countries]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Big Top Bunny</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>201612</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154568</id>
      <parentid>3152452</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:28:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.248.210.16</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Bugs Bunny */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2341" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Big Top Bunny|Big Top Bunny]]''''' is a [[w:Warner Bros. Pictures|Warner Bros. Pictures]] [[w:Merrie Melodies|Merrie Melodies]] theatrical cartoon short released in 1951 and rereleased in 1961 as a Blue Ribbon and directed by [[w:Robert McKimson|Robert McKimson]] and written by [[w:Tedd Pierce|Tedd Pierce]]. In the short, an acrobatic bear at Colonel Korny's World Famous Circus finds an unwanted partner in Bugs Bunny.

== Bugs Bunny ==
* Innocent as a newborn baby - baby rat, that is.
* Don't you believe it! ''[starts swinging]'' Ready or not. Here I come!
* ''[last lines]'' That's one way to wind this up with a bang! ''[laughs]''

==Dialogue==
:'''Bruno the Bear''': What you think you gonna do?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Who, me? Oh, I think I'm gonna jump 200 feet off of this platform into a tank of water.
:''[Bugs kisses Bruno]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Goodbye!
:''[Raises platform 200 feet; Bruno raises his platform also]''
:'''Bruno the Bear''': Nobody could outdo Bruno the Magnificent. I dive 300 feet into bucket of water.
:''[Raises platform 300 feet, Bugs does same]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, yeah? Well, I'll dive 500 feet into a damp sponge!
:''[They raise the platforms to 500 feet, breaking over the tent]''
:'''Bruno the Bear''': And I, Bruno, will dive 1,000 feet into a block of cement! On my head, yet.
:''[They raise their platforms to 1,000 feet]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Say, that's a good stunt. I'll buy that. But the star goes first. Here I go.
:'''Bruno the Bear''': Oh, no! Bruno is the star. I go first.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Ah-ah! I go first.
:'''Bruno the Bear''': ''[grabbing Bugs by the neck]'' I go first!
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Okay, pal. You win. You go first.
:''[Bruno dives the 1,000 feet and lands head first into block of cement, squashing himself in the process]''

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Mel Blanc|Mel Blanc]] as [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] / Bruno the Bear / Colonel Korny

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0043341}}


[[Category:1951 films]]
[[Category:American animated short films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated short films]]
[[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]]
[[Category:Animated drama short films]]
[[Category:Circus films]]
[[Category:Bugs Bunny cartoons]]
[[Category:Animated films about bears]]
[[Category:Films directed by Robert McKimson]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Yvonne De Carlo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>204291</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154800</id>
      <parentid>3148873</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T04:07:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jaliscan</username>
        <id>316599</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7530" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Yvonne De Carlo in Salome, Where She Danced.jpg|thumb|The most beautiful girl in the world. . . It was a straight publicity thing but it ballooned. Of course, I never could wear blue jeans to the market after that. I had a reputation to uphold.]]
[[File:Yvonne in Song of Scheherezade.jpg|thumb|I played so many oriental princesses and cowtown saloon madams after that I lost count.]]	
[[File:Yvonne De Carlo Mclintock 02.jpg|thumb|Baby, I've never been drunk in public and I never run around with men half my age.]]	
'''[[w:Yvonne De Carlo|Yvonne De Carlo]]''' (born '''Margaret Yvonne Middleton'''; September 1, 1922 &amp;ndash; January 8, 2007) was a Canadian-American actress, dancer, and singer. Known as the &quot;Most Beautiful Girl in the World&quot; and the &quot;Queen of Technicolor&quot;, she was an internationally famous Hollywood star of the 1940s and 1950s. She has two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, for motion pictures and television.

==Quotes==
=== &quot;Three Show‐Biz Girls and How They Grew&quot; (1971) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of De Carlo from the ''[[New York Times]]'' article &quot;[https://nytimes.com/1971/04/04/archives/three-showbiz-girls-and-how-they-grew-three-showbiz-girls.html Three Show‐Biz Girls and How They Grew]&quot; (1971)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I was on cloud nine all the time. After I made my hit in ''[[w:Salome, Where She Danced|Salome]]'', [[w:Universal Pictures|Universal]] sent me to New York so I could learn to be a proper movie star.''' I lived at the [[w:The Sherry-Netherland|Sherry‐Netherland]] for two months and I went to the [[w:John Robert Powers|John Robert Powers]] school. They taught me things like how to walk off a New York curb and how to enter a room in a manner befitting a big‐time movie star.
* They also tried to teach me how to eat. One day the big boss came into town and took me to dinner. I knew why he was taking me to dinner; he wanted to watch me eat. I was so nervous that when I started to lift my soup spoon to my mouth, my hand shook so much that I had to put the spoon down again. I couldn't eat soup for a whole year after that.
* We had dinner with [[John Wayne|Duke Wayne]] and [[w:Pilar Palette|his wife]] recently. He's really worried about the picture industry and how much harm it's done. And he isn't just making casual conversation, either. Duke is very concerned.
* '''I'm from Hollywood. I'm too dumb to be nervous about New York.'''

=== &quot;A girl no longer, but . . . De Carlo's a beauty still&quot; (1975) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of De Carlo from &quot;[https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/459624330/ A girl no longer, but . . . De Carlo's a beauty still]&quot; (1975)&lt;/small&gt;

*You want to know about the title, right. '''The most beautiful girl in the world. . . It was a straight publicity thing but it ballooned. Of course, I never could wear blue jeans to the market after that. I had a reputation to uphold.'''

*'''I played so many oriental princesses and cowtown saloon madams after that I lost count.''' I broke in all the new actors, to use a phrase. I acted with Rock Hudson and Tony Curtis before they became big names.

*'''Baby, I've never been drunk in public and I never run around with men half my age.''' The dames I started out with are all batty today. They had their looks and nothing more and now they think they're finished.

*'''Reality to me is a home, my kids, best friends and only then a career and the limelight.''' I never thought like [[Marilyn Monroe]] that I was washed up when I was 35.

*'''One critic called me one of the most magnificent resources Canada has allowed to escape to the United States. Because I was born and raised in Vancouver and lived up there until I was 17.''' My kids sons Bruce and Michael are, of course, American citizens. But not me. I defiantly refuse to change.

*My mother was the shaping force in my life. Don't ask me how but she always had money for my dancing lessons. She was convinced I was going to be somebody.

=== &quot;Yvonne De Carlo Reminds The World There Was Life Before Lily Munster&quot; (1987) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes of De Carlo from &quot;[https://web.archive.org/web/20150709132307/http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/1987-05-15/lifestyle/0130090076_1_lily-munster-yvonne-decarlo-actress-yvonne Yvonne De Carlo Reminds The World There Was Life Before Lily Munster]&quot; (1987)&lt;/small&gt;

* I think Yvonne De Carlo was more famous than Lily. But I gained the younger audience through ''[[The Munsters]]''. And it was a steady job.

* I enjoyed being in ''[[The Ten Commandments (1956 film)|The Ten Commandments]]''. That was a great experience—to suddenly become one of those holy people. I was holier than thou.

* I enjoyed the comedies with [[Alec Guinness]], and I had a real great time with [[Peter Ustinov]] in ''Hotel Sahara''. I found I had the ability to do comedy. My timing was really inborn.

==Quotes about Yvonne De Carlo==
[[File:Yvonne De Carlo in The Ten Commandments film trailer.jpg|thumb|I cast Yvonne De Carlo as Sephora, the wife of Moses, . . . [because] I sensed in her a depth, an emotional power, a womanly strength which the part of Sephora needed, and which she gave it. –[[Cecil B. DeMille]]]]	

* Miss De Carlo photographs beautifully in color and in black and white film. She is a fine actress, an excellent dancer and singer. It is very unusual to find so much talent in one person.
** [[w:Walter Wanger|Walter Wanger]], as quoted in &quot;[https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1946&amp;dat=19450725&amp;id=Mb4tAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=e5gFAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=4893,3527502 Yvonne De Carlo Chosen for Role, Over '20,000 Beautiful Girls']&quot; (1945)

* I cast Yvonne De Carlo as Sephora, the wife of Moses, after our casting director, Bert McKay called my attention to one scene she played in ''Sombrero'', which was a picture far removed in theme from ''The Ten Commandments'', I sensed in her a depth, an emotional power, a womanly strength which the part of Sephora needed, and which she gave it.
** [[w:Cecil B. DeMille|Cecil B. DeMille]], in ''The Autobiography of DeMille'' (1959), p. 416

* Oh, how I loved the movies as a little girl. Particularly I loved Yvonne De Carlo—she was my favorite. Others, too, like [[Rita Hayworth]], but I used to dream that I was Yvonne De Carlo. And I liked that little one—what was her name?—[[w:June Allyson|June Allyson]], too. But for me there was only one Yvonne De Carlo.
**[[Sophia Loren]], as quoted in [[w:Dick Kleiner|Dick Kleiner]]'s [https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/34389423/ &quot;Hollywood Today&quot; column (July 30, 1965)]

* I remember Yvonne with very warm and positive feelings. There was a warmth and sexiness which came out in everything she did, and that is what was irresistible to audiences. Like most top actresses, she needed direction and support, but her objective was always to be equal to the stars around her, especially the males.
** [[w:Ken Annakin|Ken Annakin]], as quoted in ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=ef1qRwXs4tUC&amp;printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false L.A. Noir: Nine Dark Visions of the City of Angels]'' (2004), p. 42–43

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons}}
{{IMDb name|0001119}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:De Carlo, Yvonne}}
[[Category:1922 births]]
[[Category:2007 deaths]]
[[Category:Actresses from the United States]]
[[Category:Actresses from Canada]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Singers from the United States]]
[[Category:Women musicians]]
[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Episcopalians from the United States]]
[[Category:Immigrants to the United States]]
[[Category:People from Vancouver]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Springtime with Roo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>205594</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154770</id>
      <parentid>3137783</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:51:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
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      <text bytes="8314" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Springtime with Roo|Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo]]''''' is a 2004 American [[w:Direct-to-video|direct-to-video]] [[w:Animation|animated]] [[w:Musical film|musical]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy]] film produced by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] and [[w:DisneyToon Studios|DisneyToon Studios]], animated by [[w:Toon City|Toon City Animation, Inc.]], the featuring characters from [[w:The Walt Disney Company|Disney]]'s ''[[w:Winnie the Pooh (franchise)|Winnie the Pooh]]'' franchise, based on the original characters from the [[w:A. A. Milne|A. A. Milne]] books featuring Winnie-the-Pooh.

== Dialogue ==
:''[A live action shot shows a boy's bedroom in a house]''
:'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' This could be the room of any small boy. But it just happened to belong to a boy named Christopher Robin. Like any small child, Christopher Robin had toy animals to play with. And together they shared many exciting and unusual adventures.
:''[Just as the narrator goes to open a book titled &quot;Winnie the Pooh&quot;, it bounces]''
:'''Narrator''': Oh! Uh… Huh? Uh, where was I? Oh, yes. They shared many exciting and unusual…
:''[The book bounces again]''
:'''Narrator''': Huh? What's going on here? Hello? Is anyone there?
:''[A cartoon. Admits the live action room, Roo flies out of the book, bursting it open]''
:'''Roo''': Yaa-hoo! Hi, Mr. Narrator.
:'''Narrator''': ''[chuckles]'' Hello, Roo.
:'''Roo''': Are you going to tell [[The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh|a story about Winnie the Pooh]]? [[Piglet's Big Movie|And Piglet]]?
:'''Narrator''': Well, not exactly. Although I can assure you, they'll be joining us very soon.
:'''Roo''': Then [[The Tigger Movie|it must be about my best bouncing buddy, Tigger]], huh?
:'''Narrator''': Ah, Tigger is right in the thick of things, as always, but this story isn't really about them.
:'''Roo''': ''[while dangling on the top of the book by his tail]'' Oh, then what is it about?
:'''Narrator''': Actually, the story begins with you.
:'''Roo''': Me?! ''[falls off from the top of the book]'' No way!
:'''Narrator''': ''Yes'' way!
:'''Kanga''': ''[offscreen]'' Roo, dear, your breakfast is getting cold.
:'''Roo''': That's my mama. I got to go. ''[leaps into the book]'' Oh, see you later!
:'''Narrator''': ''[chuckles]'' See you in a few pages.
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Rabbit looks shocked at the Easter decorations]''
:'''Roo''': Happy Easter, Rabbit!
:'''Rabbit''': ''[whimpers]''
:''[From Rabbit's point of view, Tigger and Pooh wave at him. Piglet laughs as he rocks in his basket]''
:'''Rabbit''': Easter? Easter?
:'''Roo''': Sure, you remember Easter, don't you? You know, with jellybeans and Easter baskets and a great big Easter egg hunt.
:'''Rabbit''': Well, Roo. ''[gulps]'' I'm afraid you've been terribly misinformed. Why, this is… This is Spring Cleaning Day. ''[suddenly angry]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''And you've all ruined it!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; I don't believe it! I told you exactly what to do, and you didn't do any of it!
:'''Roo''': But Rabbit…
:'''Rabbit''': Not another word! I want you all out of here at once! Out! Out!
:'''Pooh''': But…
:'''Rabbit''': ''[shoving the others outside]'' All of you, out!
:''[Rabbit slams his door]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Tigger''': Huh. Well, that went well. Maybe we should've sung it in a different key.
:'''Piglet''': I don't think so, Tigger. I don't think Rabbit wants us to sing anything.
:'''Tigger''': Now that you've mentioned it, I'm starting to get the feeling that Rabbit doesn't want to celebrate Easter… ''[gulps]'' …at all.
:'''Roo''': Huh?
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Tigger''': Guess there's nothing left to do but go home then. ''[sighs sadly]'' Come on, Roo boy.
:''[Roo is not here]''
:'''Tigger''': ''[confused]'' Roo?
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Rabbit''': ''[as Tigger comes to have a talk with him]'' Tigger! What on Earth are you doing here? ''(I thought I threw you and the others out!)''
:'''Tigger''': Eh…
:'''Rabbit''': Well?
:'''Tigger''': Rabbit, I… I mean, you… When…
:'''Rabbit''': What?
:'''Tigger''': Roo is really upset about what happened today!
:'''Rabbit''': Oh, I see. If Roo is upset, what about ''me''? Look at all this mess you've caused on Spring Cleaning Day, no less.
:'''Tigger''': I'm not talking about Spring-ity Cleaning Day, I'm talking about…
:''[Just as Tigger was about to say &quot;Easter&quot;, Rabbit shoves a feathered duster on his mouth]''
:'''Rabbit''': Don't say it, Tigger, don't say it! Do not say that word in my house.
:''[Tigger removes the feathered duster off of his mouth]''
:'''Tigger''': What word?
:'''Rabbit''': I refuse to say it. 
:'''Tigger''': If you won't tell me what word I'm not supposed to say, then how am I going to know not to say it? Let's see, is it… Carrots?
:'''Rabbit''': No!
:'''Tigger''': Rutabagas?
:'''Rabbit''': No!
:'''Tigger''': Thingama-whatchama-higgety-jigs?
:'''Rabbit''': That isn't even a word.
:'''Tigger''': Onomatopoeia? And that is a word.
:'''Rabbit''': Why would you even want to say that?
:'''Tigger''': Why wouldn't you say it? ''[sings] ♪ Onomatopoeia! ♪&lt;br&gt;♪ Onomatopoeia! ♪&lt;br&gt;♪ All I want to be is an Onomatopoeia! ♪''
:'''Rabbit''': Easter! The word is Easter!
:'''Tigger''': ''That'' was going to be my next guess. ''(And'' that ''is what I was about to say.)''
:'''Rabbit''': ''[sighs]'' Tigger, would you please just leave?
:'''Tigger''': Come on, Rabbit, aren't we never ever going to have another Easter egg hunt again?
:'''Rabbit''': No! Not never ever. Never again!
:'''Tigger''': ''[gasps]'' But you used to ''love'' Easter!
:'''Rabbit''': Says who?
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Rabbit''': I don't understand. Roo was looking forward to...
:'''Narrator''': Spring Cleaning Day, was it?
:'''Rabbit''': No. Easter. ''[feels heartbroken]'' What have I done? Where are all my friends?
:'''Narrator''': Friends you say? You certainly didn't treat them like friends. Don't you remember?
:''[Flashback clouds appear on top of Rabbit's head of what he said]''
:'''Rabbit''':  I'm sorry but I'm the Easter Bunny so I make the rules. It isn't fun it's Easter.  I told you exactly what to do, and you didn't do any of it!
:'''Narrator''': You see Rabbit? You never thought about what your friends wanted. All you do was care for yourself.
:'''Rabbit''': No, I didn't! Did I?
:'''Narrator''': It looks as if you got what you wanted. Now you can always have things your way.
:'''Rabbit''': No, that's not what I want. ''[sobs]'' Mr. Narrator, you said that the pages of the future haven't been written yet. So, does that mean these words can be changed? Please, tell me I still have time to change!
:''[Rabbit lays down on one of the pages while sobbing]''
:'''Rabbit''': No! No, it's not too late. It can't be. ''[stands up]'' I'll be a good friend. Yes, that's it. ''[runs back to his house]'' I can change. ''[opens the door]'' I'll get their special Easter things. I'll give them Easter. I will! It's not too late.
:''[Rabbit gasps when he notices the box is empty]''
:'''Rabbit''': '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!'''

:''[The screen quickly gos to black]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Roo''': ''[last lines]'' B.B.F.N.! Bye-bye for now!

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Jimmy Bennett|Jimmy Bennett]]''' — [[w:Roo|Roo]]
* '''[[w:Ken Sansom|Ken Sansom]]''' — [[w:Rabbit (Winnie-the-Pooh)|Rabbit]]
* '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — [[w:Winnie the Pooh (Disney character)|Winnie the Pooh]] &amp; [[w:Tigger|Tigger]]
* '''[[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]]''' — Narrator
* '''[[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]]''' — [[w:List of Winnie-the-Pooh characters#Kanga|Kanga]]
* '''[[w:John Fiedler|John Fiedler]]''' — [[w:Piglet (Winnie-the-Pooh)|Piglet]]
* '''[[Peter Cullen]]''' — [[w:Eeyore|Eeyore]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia|Springtime with Roo}}

[[Category:2004 films]]
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Disney direct-to-video animated films]]
[[Category:Winnie the Pooh films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Easter films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]</text>
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    <title>CSI: NY (season 7)</title>
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      <comment>/* Scared Stiff [7.08] */ Fixed quotes, removed quote for 5-quote guideline</comment>
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:'''Seasons:'''  [[CSI: NY (season 1)|1]] [[CSI: NY (season 2)|2]] [[CSI: NY (season 3)|3]] [[CSI: NY (season 4)|4]] [[CSI: NY (season 5)|5]] [[CSI: NY (season 6)|6]] [[CSI: NY (season 7)|7]] [[CSI: NY (season 8)|8]] [[CSI: NY (season 9)|9]] | [[CSI: NY|'''Main''']]
----
'''''[[w:CSI: NY|CSI: NY]]''''' ([[September]] [[2004]] – [[February]] [[2013]]) is an American police procedural television series set in New York City. It is a spinoff of ''[[CSI: Crime Scene Investigation]]'' and ''[[CSI: Miami]]''.

=== ''The 34th Floor'' [7.01] ===
:'''Jo Danville''': I guess I was under the impression the NY Crime Lab was BYOB. ''[Danny and Sheldon look confused]''. Bring your own body. ''[Boys laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': ''[about finding the dead girl upon her arrival at the crime lab]'' My first thought was, &quot;It's a practical joke. You know? Welcome to the New York Crime Lab.&quot;
:'''Mac Taylor''': We usually sabotage a pair of latex gloves or have a tech pose as a dead body in autopsy, then suddenly pop to life, but murder? Not our style.
:'''Jo Danville''': Good to know.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[joining Lindsay on the roof]'' Thought I'd find you up here. Is this your new spot?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Did I have an old one?
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[hugging her]'' Yes, you did... right here.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adam''': Hello Josephine.
:'''Jo''': Jo.
:'''Adam''': Huh, really? It's not what it says in your file.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': I'm not breaking any rules. I'm trying to create new ones.

=== ''Unfriendly Chat'' [7.02] ===
:'''Don Flack''': We don't know who our killer is. We don't know who our victim is. 
:'''Jo Danville''': And our crime scene could be anywhere in the world. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adam Ross''': I feel like I've forgotten everything, like I-I can't remember any of the details.
:'''Jo Danville''': Well, that's not uncommon, when the brain experiences trauma. Sometimes it locks up. But not to worry, cause I always carry a spare set of keys.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''' [to Adam]: You're being ridiculous.
:'''Adam Ross''': What?
:'''Jo Danville''': You deal with death every day. This case is no different. Man up.
:'''Adam Ross''': Are you kidding me? Jo, I saw this girl alive. She's not just another dead body on the slab to me. Oh, no, did you just do that so I'd spill my guts? Oh, damn it!
:'''Jo Danville''': Sorry, Adam. You can't keep your feelings bottled up. Contents may explode under pressure. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': We did find Sass Dumonde's dead body. 
:'''Danny Messer''': According to the university, she was in your class last semester. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': We found her strangled to death with your fancy headphones. 
:'''Danny Messer''': (whistles) That's pretty harsh. I mean, I failed Calculus, but my teacher didn't kill me. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adam Ross''': I shared the final moments of Sass Dumonde's life. I, I... I heard her music. I... I saw her joy. I-I... maybe even fell in love a little. And then, three minutes later, it was... it was just over.
:'''Jo Danville''': When you cross paths with people like that, it's hard not to stop in your tracks. But believe me when I tell you... none of what you're doing now will bring her back. It will only bring you down.
:'''Adam Ross''': What do I do now, though?
:'''Jo Danville''': Go home. Go to bed. Come back in the morning ready to do what's right.

=== ''Damned If You Do'' [7.03] ===
:'''Danny Messer''' [to Lindsay]: Remember what I said about having a son?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Yeah. 
:'''Danny Messer''': Never mind. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jules Roday''': He didn't do it. He doesn't have it in him to do something like this.
:'''Don Flack''': Okay, Jules, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Everyone has it in them to do something like this. Everyone. 
:'''Jules Roday''': No. Not Billy.
:'''Don Flack''': How long have you been going out? 
:'''Jules Roday''': Five months.
:'''Don Flack''': Five months? I usually like to wait at least six months before I can attest to somebody's lack of homicidal tendencies.
:'''Jules Roday''': You're kind of a bitch, you know that?
:''[Flack smiles]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': So from about 8:00 to 11:00, I'm just supposed to take your word for it that you were in your room? And the only person who can account for your whereabouts earlier that day is your girlfriend ''[starts writing down]''
:'''Billy Travers''': What are you doing?
:'''Jo Danville''': Math. Because you're not man enough to admit what you did. Now I gotta do Math. I hate Math. Half hour by train to get to your parents' place. 25 minutes to stand outside and build the courage to kill them. Another 40 minutes inside to do the deed and change your clothes. 15 minutes to puke and then find a place to ditch the bloody clothes. Another half hour to travel to your room ''[she sums up]'' Five... ten... carry one... two hours and 20 minutes, give or take. Plenty of time for you to commit the murder and get back to your room.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sid Hammerback''': The human skull is composed of one of the most durable substances found in nature. It takes approximately one ton to reduce the diameter of the skull by one centimeter. Unfortunately for Walter Travers, when you get whacked in the head multiple times with a blunt-force object, that doesn't mean a whole lot. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': ''[sitting in the sidewalk]'' I can just picture Manny Ravarra, sitting the cafeteria with a stupid grin on his face, eating a bologna sandwich, gloating to the other inmates how two mope detectives are knee-deep in crap for absolutely no reason.
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[coming out of the sewer]'' Actually, I only see one mope detective down here. You want to join me?
:'''Don Flack''': I don't do sewers. It's like he said... he's doing life, he's got nothing to lose, so why not jerk us around?

=== ''Sangre por Sangre'' [7.04] ===
:'''Jo Danville''': Torres' death leaves a void at the top of his crew, so I thought I'd look at his replacements might be able to avoid a street war if we can talk to them. So I'm gathering this as I go. Seems, Torres was the face of this crew, but Lisa Brigosa... she's the brains and Rick Devarro is the street muscle. Although, given his penchant for getting arrested, Rick's not too bright.
:'''Mac Taylor''': There's one other. Luther Devarro.
:'''Jo Danville''': Any relation to Rick?
:'''Mac Taylor''': His older brother. Founder of El Puño, but more of an advisor at this stage of his career. I helped put him away 15 years ago. He was released last week. 
:'''Jo Danville''': Gasoline on the fire. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': It's one thing to be a street guy, another to be smart. But it's dangerous when both those qualities are embodied in one person. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Luther Devarro''': ''[about Mac]'' Fernando. Take a look at this man. If you're ever stupid enough to get arrested, this is the guy you want to put the handcuffs on. He's a fair man. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''' ''[to Luther Devarro]'': I want to know if I'm gonna have a problem with your crew.
:'''Luther Devarro''': This your way of paying condolences? Last time I checked, it was one of my men who had holes burned into him.
:'''Mac Taylor''': And killing more people is going to make it right?
:'''Luther Devarro''': What's the alternative, turn it over to the NYPD? Cops like to see us as defendants or, better yet, deceased.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Doesn't have to be that way.
:'''Luther Devarro''': I didn't make the rules.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''' ''[to Luther Devarro]'': You want to teach the next generation? You tell them revenge lands them in prison or a grave. You're a man of intelligence. Reason with them.
:'''Luther Devarro''': Men can reason all they want. Machines got minds of their own.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I want your assurance that this is not the beginning of a war.
:'''Luther Devarro''': I hear your concern but I can't make that assurance. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Luther Devarro''': I never intended to save the world but somebody had to be held accountable. Those that made the same promise I did. Promise to protect the neighbourhood, not to eat it alive. To defend it, not to become the worst threat it had ever known.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Now you've caused even more bloodshed. Killing people won't solve it. We're fighting the same fight. Why didn't you come to me? We could have taken them down together.
:'''Luther Devarro''': Because old habits die hard, and we're different kind of people. I gain closure here, Detective, in the spirit of what I created. I have no other choice. It all ends here. Tonight.

=== ''Out of the Sky'' [7.05] ===
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Our robbers are wearing the very latest in B &amp; E chic. This season no heist is complete without these little beauties.
:''[Lindsay is wearing button size LEDs that make her head appear unidentifiable on the screen as it's covered by a bright light]''
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': I'm walking... I'm walking... I'm walking. I'm busting the safe, I'm making my escape.
:'''Jo Danville''': A must-have for the fashion forward felon. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adam Ross''': What would you do?
:'''Danny Messer''': What would I do what?
:'''Adam Ross''': You know, if you found millions of dollars of gems in the street?
:'''Danny Messer''': Give 'em back.
:'''Adam Ross''': Oh, come on, guy. You wouldn't keep some?
:'''Danny Messer''': Why, would you?
:'''Adam Ross''': No, no, no, I... I'd give 'em back. Mostly... I mean... maybe keep one or two.
:'''Danny Messer''': Know what happens to people that take things that don't belong to them, right?
:'''Adam Ross''': No. 
:'''Danny Messer''': Other people are getting hurt. Doc! Come here, we got an ethical debate going on, and Adam's failing miserably. What do you do if you come across a fortune of precious gems that don't belong to you?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I'd give them to the guy with the knife to my throat.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': What about the bag?
:'''Arnold Vonley''': Man, I'm a specialist. Strictly cash and jewelry only. I'm not risking my life for some sweaty gym socks.
:'''Don Flack''': How much did you get away with?
:'''Arnold Vonley''': 20 bucks. Plus the watch. Probably like 80 bucks, total.
:'''Don Flack''': I'm gonna be honest with you, Arnold. You're probably the dumbest mugger I've ever met.
:'''Arnold Vonley''': Why? What was in the bag?
:'''Don Flack''': Five million dollars. Those were some valuable gym socks. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Adam Ross''': It's got all the auditory markers of an ass dial. You know, when your phone's in your back pocket and you make a call that you don't even know you're making. For instance, okay... my ass dialled my girlfriend once when I was out at a bar with some friends. Left, like, a 15-minute message, you know? I mean, it would've been really funny, except we were talking about her the whole time, and...
:'''Mac Taylor''': That's how she became your ex-girlfriend?
:'''Adam Ross''': Well... yeah.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Clear out the ambient sound, see if there's anything useful underneath, and call me when you got something. With your fingers, not your ass.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Roland Carson''': ''[to Mac]'' This must be the highlight of your career, Detective... going after me.
:'''Mac Taylor''': It's not even an honourable mention.

=== ''Do Not Pass Go'' [7.06] ===
:'''Danny Messer''': Rooftop is clean. If there was ever trace up here, Mother Nature did not want us to find it.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': What about the stairwell?
:'''Danny Messer''': It's my next stop.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': You want help?
:'''Danny Messer''': Uh, well, with 738 stairs, I think I'm good.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': What's with the car?
:'''Don Flack''': The original architect had a thing for big-boy toys and drag racing. Been up here 40 years.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I had daydreams of owning one well into my 20s.
:'''Jo Danville''': I'm assuming yours didn't come standard with a dead body.
:'''Mac Taylor''': That wasn't even an option. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': Mrs. Anderson... we're going to find the guy who murdered your son.
:'''Mrs. Anderson''': That's not going to bring him back, is it? I'm sorry.
:'''Don Flack''': It's going to take time.
:'''Mrs. Anderson''': I don't know the right way to act around people, what to say to them.
:'''Don Flack''': No right way to act. Children aren't supposed to die.
:'''Mrs. Anderson''': I would like to see him, Detective.
:'''Don Flack''': All due respect, I don't think that's a good idea. That's not how you want to remember him.
:'''Mrs. Anderson''': Then, how do I say good-bye?
:'''Don Flack''': You don't. Not where it counts. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': So how'd your negotiation go yesterday?
:'''Jo Danville''': Negotiation?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Your daughter seems rather determined to vacate New York City.
:'''Jo Danville''': She can be a stubborn mule like her mama. Seldom shy about what she likes and doesn't like.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Being thrown into the deep end is never easy. It helps to know there are people around that have your back.
:'''Jo Danville''': Well, Ellie's a tough kid. She's going to be fine.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I wasn't talking about Ellie.
:'''Jo Danville''': Thank you. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Ellie would've just ended up one of those innocent kids lost in a broken system.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Well, bringing her into your family was a noble thing to do.
:'''Jo Danville''': I didn't have any choice, Mac. She was love at first sight. She was so yummy. And if my son Tyler gave meaning to my life, Ellie just made it complete. It was the best decision I ever made in my life.

=== ''Hide Sight'' [7.07] ===
:'''Mac Taylor''': I received a memo from my superior officers just prior to calling this meeting. It reads as follows: 'There is no sniper.' Make no mistake about it. New York City has a sniper. And he's good. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Our hope is that this was an isolated incident and that the shooter will be in custody soon. I know that's what the brass wants the public to believe. What I don't know... what we can't know... is when or where the killer will strike again.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chief Ted Carver''' [to Mac]: Heard about your antics this morning.
:'''Mac Taylor''': By antics, you mean telling the truth?
:'''Chief Ted Carver''': Look, your own people is one thing. I trust you're not going to be tearing up any directives from above in front of the press.
:'''Mac Taylor''': No, no. They were smart enough not to send me any paper this time.
:'''Chief Ted Carver''': All right, wait, wait, listen. Neither of us is to utter the word sniper, is that clear? That's a direct order from Chief Sinclair to me. Now it is a direct order from me to you. Is that going to be a problem?
:'''Mac Taylor''': They have a right to know.
:'''Chief Ted Carver''': Why? So they can turn this into Son of Sam? So they can post this on their blogs? Harry Smith does a segment on the Early Show about the psychology of a sniper and then introduces a new song by Katy Perry? No. The public has a right to know what we tell them.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I'm not going to lie for you or anyone else.
:'''Chief Ted Carver''': Who said anything about lying? Mac, look, I walked the beat just like you did, all right? I know where you're coming from but there is a difference between lying and withholding a truth.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I don't think there is.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': How's he doing?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Well, doctor says he's fine. In fact, I hear he's already back at the office. They told him to take the rest of the week off, but you know Sid.
:'''Danny Messer''': Right, right. I mean, he's not happy unless he's looking at dead things.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Michael had been missing for 72 hours when this case file came across my desk. He was on his way home from school when he was abducted.
:'''Jo Danville''': Did you catch the guy?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Took 3 years. Arthur Francis. Twice convicted sex offender. Whole time he was missing, we didn't know whether he was alive or dead. It was the first case I ever questioned which of those two options might be worse.
:'''Jo Danville''': I'm sure his own parents asked themselves the same thing.
:'''Mac Taylor''': At age 12, he finally managed to escape. Clawed his way through the floorboards to a crawl space.
:'''Jo Danville''': I can't imagine that moment for a 12-year-old kid. It's heartbreaking.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I went to see him a few times after he returned home. Made sure he was doing all right. He always wanted to wear my badge. He asked me if it was pure gold the first time he put it on. His brother Tom, too. I thought for sure one of those boys would become a cop. I tried to stay in touch with the family, but then another case came along, then another case and I lost touch. Now he's the primary suspect in a murder investigation.
:'''Jo Danville''': Mac... there's only so much this job allows us to do.

=== ''Scared Stiff'' [7.08] ===
:'''Jo Danville''': No other prints to suggest she was being followed.
:'''Don Flack''': No... If this was a chase or a blitz attack there'd be signs of a struggle somewhere.
:'''Jo Danville''': I don't see it.
:'''Don Flack''': Nope. So what, or who was she running from?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Ghosts.
:''[Flack and Jo look at him disbelievingly]''
:'''Jo Danville''': ''[amused]'' Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, did I just hear you say ghosts?
:'''Don Flack''': You did. Wanna know why? 'Cause that's what he said: Ghosts.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': A lot of New Yorkers believe this part of the park is haunted. The lake just over there, for years rumor has it, two women have been seen skating figure eights, at night. Rosetta and Janice, sisters, died in the 1800s. Apparently they just glide above the ice, if you get too close they disappear.
:'''Don Flack''': ''[amusedly scared]'' Shut up.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Yeah. Then there was that real estate guy that got gutted by the river just east of here. Oh, and Belvedere Castle, tons of people have heard disembodied voices, dispatch gets calls there all the time.
:'''Don Flack''': Teenagers. Doing the nasty.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Go ahead, poke fun, but this area where we are, right now, some of the volunteers from the emergency medical unit won't even ride in here, they send me. I gotta be honest, there have been times when I felt something.
:'''Jo Danville''': A presence?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I don't know. 
:'''Don Flack''': Doc, come on. You can't tell me, that in your well educated scientific mind, you don't have an explanation for paranormal activity.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': OK, one night, I heard a woman screaming. I get off my bike, I run towards the sound, the screaming is getting louder and louder, but when I get to where she should've been: nothing. Nobody.
:'''Jo Danville''': What do think it was?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I don't know. I don't have a rational explanation for what happened that night. Now, it could have been my mind playing tricks on me, or maybe it was the sound bouncing of the trees; but I felt something weird here, and judging by the looks of these shoeprints, maybe our Jane Doe felt something too.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[phone rings]''
:'''Don Flack''': Flack.
:'''Jo Danville''': ''[in a crypt creepers voice]'' We gotta go visit the dead.
:'''Don Flack''': Work related I hope. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': This place is so creepy. But I guess, funeral home, what else would it be?
:'''Don Flack''': How the hell does a funeral home go out of business?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': The owners died four years ago, the left the family business to the only son, Gordon, he closed up shop apparently, but I understand he still lives here.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': No prints in the dust, no movement in the air.
:'''Jo Danville''': Definitely doesn't look lived in.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Or died in. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': This doesn't make any sense. This kid closed down the funeral home, but stayed in the embalming business.
:'''Jo Danville''': He kept it open for personal use. ''[reviews crime scene]'' No signs of struggle. So Isabel was probably unconscious when he laid her out here. So what did he do from there?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': ''[opens door to closet]'' He dressed her. ''[takes out a dress]'' Vintage. Looks like it's from the fifties.
:'''Don Flack''': Hey, if we come across a little old lady skeleton in a wig and a rocking chair down here, it's every man for himself.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': So this guy can only relate to dead bodies. That's really sad.
:'''Don Flack''': That's not the adjective I would use...

=== ''Justified'' [7.09] ===
:'''Mitch''': ...clothes on her back, food in her mouth, and she runs away? Huh?! That's how she repays me?!
:'''Don Flack''': Settle down, Mother Theresa.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Shop Till You Drop'' [7.10] ===
:'''Danny Messer''': Yo Mac.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Let me guess, she gave you a full confession, our job is done.
:'''Don Flack''': Wouldn't that be nice. No, she still won't say a word. 
:'''Danny Messer''': But, something I found at the crime scene is speaking volumes. Piece of glass from one of those window lamps, actually had human flesh burnt into its surface. Had a hit in Codis to a Pascal Denton. Now, he is the StoneFields window display designer. 
:'''Don Flack''': Turns out, before he was a designer, he was a regular at Rikers. Did six months for assaulting a police officer. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Any connection to the victim?
:'''Danny Messer''': Well we found his prints on a rode iron branch used as the murder weapon, and on top of that Groseman fired him a week ago. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': gives him motive. Still doesn't explain how Elena fits in.
:'''Don Flack''': No, but this will. She and Pascal got engaged six months ago.
:'''Mac Taylor''': so all this time we thought she was there alone with Groseman, maybe her fiance was there too.

=== ''To What End?'' [7.11] ===
:''[Mac gets to the crime scene as Flack finished interrogating a witness/suspect, which are a lot of people dressed as clowns. Mac is amused]''
:'''Don Flack''': Don't say anything. It's just better of you don't say anything. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': the victim's inside?
:'''Don Flack''': The owner. Gino Cressida, was his son's sixth birthday. Witness' just say a clown walked in a wasted him. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': And when you showed up, the arresting officers had these guys contained? ''[nodding to suspects]''
:'''Don Flack''': Yeah. Now, some of these costumes are way off, but they happen to match the description witnesses gave of the shooter they saw walk across the street and disappear down the alley.
:'''Mac Taylor''': So one of these clowns might actually be our killer.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': ''[Interrogating Clown suspect]'' You squirt me with that thing, I will shoot you, right here in front of everybody, understand me?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[After talking about evidence]'' ok... one more thing, do you wear sneakers inside clown shoes?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Are you seriously asking me that question?
:'''Danny Messer''': What, no good? What the hell do I know about clowns?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Look, I'm a bright man Danny, but I'm afraid I can help you with that one.
''[Jo arrives]''
:'''Jo Danville''': Hey.
:'''Danny Messer''': Jo, do you wear sneakers inside clown shoes?
:'''Jo Danville''': I don't know, I don't own any.
:'''Danny Messer''': Clown shoes?
:'''Jo Danville''': Sneakers. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Danny, get out of here.
''[Danny laughs as he leaves]''
:'''Mac Taylor''': Get me some answers.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Russ Josephson''': Hey, Mac seems like a nice guy.
:'''Jo Danville''': He is.
:'''Russ Josephson''': Any reason I should be jealous?
:'''Jo Danville''': ''rolls eyes''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Holding Cell'' [7.12] ===
:'''Danny Messer''': Inhaling your alcohol... I think I saw this in an episode of The Jetsons.
:'''Don Flack''': I'm not a doctor, but that can't be good for you.
:'''Danny Messer''': The vapor or the girl?
:'''Don Flack''': Yeah...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Party Down'' [7.13] ===
:'''Mac Taylor''': What happened here Don?
:'''Don Flack''': This was a truck party gone bad. It's the latest craze in afterhours entertainment. They convert tractor trailers into exclusive nightclubs. Times and locations are spread among the social networks.
:'''Mac Taylor''': I'm assming this one didn't start at the bottom of the Hudson?
:'''Jo Danville''': I thought the truck was not supposed to move once the party started.
:'''Don Flack''': It's not. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': So who moved it?
:'''Don Flack''': Couple cabbies nearly got runover, but they didn't get a good look of the drivers face. They did say that he accelerated through the fence. The abscence of skid marks confirms that there was no breaking.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Driver could've drowned. Or still be among the survivors.
:'''Jo Danville''': we have divers in the water looking for more bodies and the others are being transported to the precint for questioning.
:'''Don Flack''': My guess; driver saw that river coming, jumped before splash down, then got the hell out of dodge.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Either way, looks like crashing this party wasn't an accident.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': ''( Sees half naked woman in the body painting studio.)''Are you free for something tonight?
:'''Jo Danville''':''( Pulls Flack out from the room.)'' Flack, go!

=== ''Smooth Criminal'' [7.14] ===
:'''Don Flack''': Guess who walks out?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Sounds like the punch line to a bad joke, professional killer, and ex-con walk into a bar.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Three dead bodies isn't the kind of buzz you want.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Wanna know the secret to bad medicine? Soap scum.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': So, Camille Jordanson wasn't just stealing meds. She was also giving them fake meds in return. Pun intended: That's pretty sick.

=== ''Vigilante'' [7.15] ===
:'''Annie Cartland''': I got what the system couldn't. Justice.
:'''Mac Taylor''': What you got was retribution.
:'''Annie Cartland''': Aren't they the same thing?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Not even close.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': How do you follow the law and stay a human being?
:'''Jo Danville''': That's the hard part, because the piece of me- if that was my daughter- that wanted him dead I have to put in a box.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kate Price''': you know why I remember you, Lindsey? The day that we met at group, before you and me spoke. You kept checking your watch. You just couldn't wait to get out of there. I don't blame you. It wasn't like we wanted to be there either.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': I have to say, whoever these women are, I admire their determination.
:'''Jo Danville''': You think they did the right thing?
:'''Danny Messer''': Eh... I mean, no. But, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing in their position.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Why, because I'm a woman I should cheer his death? I'm a cop first. As much as I despise what he did I don't advocate vigilante justice.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''The Untouchable'' [7.16] ===
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': This is possibly... a grease.
:'''Danny Messer''': Yeah, you better hope is that given where we found it.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': You're gross.
:'''Danny Messer''': Huh, you wanted the coat.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': How did she get here without getting caught?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Buildings on either side are abandoned. No one has been up here for years.
:'''Don Flack''': What the hell was she doing in here?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Looks like Tessa was living here.
:'''Don Flack''': Whoa...''[They find a wall plastered with Newspaper clippings, polaroids of people, masks...]'' I don't think the elevator goes to the top floor, if you know what I mean.
:'''Jo Danville''': Its amazing.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Somewhere in here is the answer to what Tessa was trying to tell me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Flack and Mac investigate room at Gentleman's Club. They find traces of bodily fluid on a couch]''
:'''Don Flack''': A lot of sex going on in this room. Apparently VIP room means something else.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Well, sex isnt a crime, murder is. We need to find blood.
:''[They spray the room for blood, find it on a wall]''
:'''Don Flack''': Bingo.
:'''Mac Taylor''': The splatter suggests a gunshot wound. Tessa was right.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Your little talk with detective Taylor was really a threat.
:'''Keith DeJong''': No! no, no. Look, I jus wanted him to know how-
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': How much of a pompous ass you and your club pals are? Do you think money can get you out of murder?
:'''Keith DeJong''': No! Look I don't know anything, I just do what I'm told.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': oh, so you're a pompous lackey ass.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Do Or Die'' [7.17] ===
:'''Don Flack''': Digital Grapevine is in full effect.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Significant blood loss. She couldn't have gone far. She was murdered right here in the school grounds.
:'''Don Flack''': Usually you tell your kids to be careful coming home from school, not through it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Is that an ass print?
:'''Danny Messer''': Honey, what?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Look.
:'''Danny Messer''': Yeah, that does look like an ass print.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': You were a cheerleader?
:'''Jo''': Oh, don't act like you weren't!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''' :''[processing their crime scene]'' You have a hall pass, young lady?
:''[Jo casually flashes her badge]''
:'''Danny Messer''': All right, that'll do.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Girl Student''': ''[About being in the school library]'' ''[Nervous]'' Yeah, but I'm there every day.
:'''Don Flack''': Got a lot of work done then.
:'''Girl Student''': Yeah.
:'''Don Flack''': I didn't realize having sex was considered homework.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''[Adam is walking trying to fidure out something, Jo walks up]''
:'''Jo Danville''': Hey.
:'''Adam Ross''': Hey.
:'''Jo Danville''': Dog ate your homework, what's up?
:'''Adam Ross''': ok, check this out. I was processing Olivia Prescott's clothing, and I found this weird grey dirt on her blazer, so I ran it through GCMS, and I found a high concentration of sodium, potassium, magnesium, and chloride; which is... ah well... ah... eh- It has the same chemical consistency as ah... Martian soil.
:'''Jo Danville''': ''[amused]'' What?
:'''Adam Ross''': Soil found on Mars.
:'''Jo Danville''': Ok. So I should have Flack send out an APB on what? 5'2, big head, oval shaped piercing black eyes, last scene leaving Archford Academy on a flying saucer? ''[still amused]''
:'''Adam Ross''': You know, I just got the results back and I-I don't wanna go to Mac yet cause I don't want him to think that I'm-I'm crazy! 
:'''Jo Danville''': Adam, I can personally guarantee you, that Olivia has never been to Mars. Based on the tears of the fabrics of her blazer, the killer likely grabbed Olivia, so the &quot;martian soil&quot; had to be secondary transfer from the killers hand, but obviously the killer's never been to mars, so you have to figure out what martian soil has to do with Archford Academy.
:'''Adam Ross''': Ok. ''[Turns to leave, sees Mac]'' Oh God ''[Leaves in the opposite direction]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Since when were Stalin, Khrushchev, and Beria ingredients in water?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Never...
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I don't think there's 1947 calories in it either.
:'''Jo Danville''': Where did that water bottle come from?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Vics' backpack.
:'''Mac Taylor''': ''[Looking at the water bottle closely]'' Heh, Multiple Choice. 1-T-D
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': 1947. TD. Truman Doctrine.
:'''Mac Taylor''': 2-M-P
:'''Jo Danville''': Marshall Plan.
:'''Mac Taylor''': 3-N-S-A
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': National Security Agency.
:'''Mac Taylor''': National Security Act, Agency wasn't formed until 1949. Everything on this bottle has been replaced with information pertaining to the Cold War.
:'''Jo Danville''': All the answers to the test. It's a cheat sheet.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': That's impressive.
''[Mac looks at him wondering]''
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I mean, it's not like I've cheated or anything...
''[Jo smiles at him]''
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Olivia was the smartest girl at that school, she wasn't a cheater.
''[Mac notices something that he had seen smudged on Olivia's finger before]''
:'''Mac Taylor''': and this would explain the transfer of the F.Lindsay go to the Archford Academy website. I wanna know what exams are scheduled for today. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': AP World History
:'''Mac Taylor''': Looks like Olivia Prescott might have caught a cheater. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Identity Crisis'' [7.18] ===
:'''Don Flack''': Hey Mac. Bet you a cup of coffee this is the most interesting crime scene you'll go to all week.
:'''Mac Taylor''': You sound confident, obviously you know something I don't.
:'''Don Flack''': ''[To Sheldon]'' You wanna tell him?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': No, please. 
:'''Don Flack''': Alright. ''[To Mac]'' You had to guess, how old do you say our victim is?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Late seventies, early eighties maybe.
''[Sheldon and Flack smile and nod as if it was a good guess, Mac looks at them confused]''
:'''Don Flack''': Doc.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Mid thirties would be closer to the truth.
:'''Mac Taylor''': ''[Snorts]'' What?
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Yeah... and he's a woman. ''[Takes off mask from vic]''
:''[Mac looks shocked]''
:'''Don Flack''': ''[smirking]'' I like my coffee black, no sugar.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Adam is doing something in the computer and starts laughing]''
:''[Danny notices he is playing with the aging software using Lindsay's face]''
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[Laughing]'' Hey, come on, that's not right, don't do that, stop.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': What?
:'''Danny Messer''': He's just messing with the age progression software.
''[Lindsay walks around the table to see]''
:'''Danny Messer''': I wouldn't look.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Is that me?! That's not funny!
:'''Danny Messer''': I didn't do it.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Yeah, but you're laughing.
:'''Danny Messer''': No.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': You're going to be married to her. ''[They all keep laughing]'' We are growing old together.
:''[Adam notices Mac walking over]''
:'''Adam Ross''': ''[Seriously]'' Boss, One o'clock.
:'''Mac Taylor''': What is happening in here?
:'''Adam Ross''': We were... well, ah... while these guys were, eh...  goofing around, I discovered a rust like substance from the vics sweater, more than likely transfered from the weapon. ''[Lindsay and Danny look at him incredulously]''
:'''Danny Messer''': Rust, huh?
:'''Adam Ross''': Yeah, huh.
:'''Danny Messer''': I think you need a distinct chemical composition or you'll be staring at big fat dead end chief. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': There was no hit in Codis from the blood on the platform. And Danny's print from the train, dead end. But I did manage to find a partial print from the adhesive tape on the cigar box, and I'm thinking since our vic was wearing a mask, she was probably up to something, and she might have a record. 
:'''Danny Messer''': Right, which we won't find any time soon, cause our vic is still a Jane Doe, and I ran Sid's ten card and we didn't get an ID... So if that print you recovered is hers, it's not gonna get us a name.
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': I'm your wife, ok. You don't have to turn on me.
:''[The three of them start arguing lightly]''
:'''Mac Taylor''': You three done?
:'''Adam Ross''': Sorry.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Alright, lets get an ID on our Jane Doe, lets hunt down a location where this mask was purchased might be a good place to start, the quality of the material suggests it was custom made, not something you find on a costume store shelf, and run this clothes, lets see if we can find a murder weapon. Danny that palm print run it for trace, maybe we can find something that'll tell us where the killer works, lives or hangs out.
:''[Victim's cell phone starts vibrating]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': ''[To Ellie]'' I adopted you because you needed me... and because I needed you
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Hey.
:'''Mac Taylor''': ''[Looks at his watch]'' What are you doing here?
:'''Jo Danville''': Forgot my homework. Left myself a post it so I wouldn't forget on my desk. Of course, I forgot.
:'''Mac Taylor''': On your desk?
:'''Jo Danville''': Ok, thank you, yes, it's a mess, you know.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Huh... How'd it go? ''[About Ellie]''
:'''Jo Danville''': oh, it didn't. Ellie changed her mind. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Teenagers.
:'''Jo Danville''': Yep, that about sums it up. Mac you need to get married and have kids so I don't have to go through all these challenges alone.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Have you lost your mind?
:'''Jo Danville''': Yeah, don't get married, just adopt a child. ''[Mac laughs]'' Children are wonderful.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Misery really loves company, huh?
:'''Jo Danville''': You'd make a great father. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Jo, stop.
:'''Jo Danville''': didn't you ever think about being a grandfather?
:'''Mac Taylor''': Hey, if I buy you a burger and beer will you stop talking?
:'''Jo Danville''': Done. You know I have a weakness for food. Lets get a juicy, greasy hamburger, with a light beer. 
''[They chuckle a little]''
:'''Jo Danville''': You would make a great father.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Jo...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Food For Thought'' [7.19] ===
:'''Adam Ross''': Hey Mac, if a bird spits on you do you think it's the same good luck as whe-
:'''Mac Taylor''': Figure it out, Adam.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': What about that feast that we brought you in bed?
:'''Lindsay Monroe''' That was Mother's Day...two years ago.
:'''Danny Messer''': Two? Really?...Whoa, I'll get you something tasty when we're done ''[Crime scene]''
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': I want a bowl of grits, two eggs over medium, sausage and wheat toast with a lot of butter from that soul food place in Bleaker. And, I want a double cheese burger with large fries, and a cream super float from that place in Madison Square park. 
:'''Danny Messer''': ''[Snorts, starts walking away]'' That's it... ''[Stops, looks back questioningly]''
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': I'm not pregnant. I'm just hungry.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Camille Jordanson''': I'm throwing a party and was wondering if you wanted to come by.
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Babe, didn't we almost just die?
:'''Camille Jordanson''': Why do you think I'm throwing a party?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': So all this time we've been looking at food trucks we should have been focusing on fine dining.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Let's go see if murder is on the menu.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Nothing for Something'' [7.20] ===
:''[Talking about Flack taking Mac home]''
:'''Mac Taylor:''' Will you be giving me milk and cookies and singing a lullaby?
:'''Don Flack:''' Lullaby thing's a bit weird...but milk and cookies can happen. ''[Grins]''
:''[Mac grins back]''
:'''Don Flack:''' Let's go.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Life Sentence'' [7.21] ===
:'''Don Flack''': What are you after?
:'''Raymond Harris''': Justice.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': You want to kill me, Harris? Kill me. Here I am. Make a move.
:'''Raymond Harris''': Then there wouldn't be any surprises. Where's the fun in that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': You always walked the line, Bill, but I never thought you'd cross it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bill Hunt''': Not a day went by that I didn't think of turning myself in.
:'''Mac Taylor''': But you didn't
:'''Bill Hunt''': It wouldn't have made a difference.
:'''Mac Taylor''': It would have to me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== ''Exit Strategy'' [7.22] ===
:'''Jo Danville''': Danny, check your schedule. You'll receive a 'must appear' for Wednesday. 
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': I can cover your cases for you if you have any deadlines. 
:'''Danny Messer''': Ah, thanks, Doc ''(To Lindsay)'' You weren't even gonna offer, were you? 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Solve your own damn cases. 
:'''Adam Ross''': I can't wait to get married.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Okay, what's going on, Mac? I know you better than you think. Something's up. What suddenly compelled you to investigate a robbery at a bodega on Austin and 123rd? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': I'm the head of the Crime Lab, Jo. I think that more or less entitles me to re-evaluate any case I want, whenever I want. 
:'''Jo Danville''': Fine. I have no problem with that. But I'm your colleague and friend and I think that more or less entitles me to ask why. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': You know, you're going old school with that string. You'd be amazed at what computers can do nowadays. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': It's an old case. Old habits. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Don Flack''': What's up? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': You just killed two people: owner and an employee behind the counter. 
:'''Don Flack''': That sounds like me. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': This case has been sitting on the edge of my desk for the last nine years. 
:'''Don Flack''': You got a new lead? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': No. 
:'''Don Flack''': Is the chif asking about it? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Nope. 
:'''Don Flack''': Then, whats up? Why you looking into it now? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': No reason. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': Know what I'm thinking? I want you to go into the bathroom, take these two bricks of cocaine and I want you to strap them to your body. All right? Then I'm going to meet you downstairs, okay? I'm gonna get it home, I'm gonna cut it and I'm gonna package it. And I'm going to become... ''(Imitating Al Pacino)'' ...Danny Montana. I'm a political prisoner from Staten Island. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': So you have no problem using me as a drug mule? 
:'''Danny Messer''': No. If you want to be involved, you're going to have to take on some of the risk. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Well, it sounds like I'm taking on all of the risk. The only thing you risk is being mocked for doing a bad Pacino impression. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': So you're not a fan of being the wife of a very powerful and, and, and very handsome, of I do say so myself, drug lord. I anticipated that, because I know a little bit about you so I have a plan B for making some extra dough. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Well, does it involve you dressing in drag and turning tricks? Because that I'm totally okay with. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Danny Messer''': How does Sergeant Danny Messer sound? 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Are you serious? You're thinking about taking the sergeant's exam? 
:'''Danny Messer''': Maybe. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': I think that's a great idea. 
:'''Danny Messer''': Good. 'Cause I took it a few months ago and I'm waiting for the results in a few days. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': What? Why didn't you tell me? 
:'''Danny Messer''': I mean, I haven't told anyone. I mean, I don't know if I want it. I mean, it's more money. It puts me on the path to possibly running this lab one day but it takes me away from here. It would take me away from the team. It would take me away from you. 
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I love that you're thinking about our future like this. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': We processed this thing when the crime occurred and we never got a second donor. Why would it be different now? 
:'''Sheldon Hawkes''': Well, I used a different genetic analyzer. Every instrument varies in sensitivity. If I ran it through a third one might not pick it up but this one did. Machines. Sometimes there's no rational explanation for why they do what they do. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wes Dillon''': Relax, Kenny. She's just a kid. 
:'''Kenny Hexton''': No, she's not a kid. She's a witness, man. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Natalie Dalton''': I suppose you read the reports... the... the ones that the police made that night. I was a different person back then. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Ms. Dalton, I'm not here to judge you. Based on what I've read here, you're a mother who's never given up hope, and I admire that. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': How did Olivia end up in that bodega alone? 
:'''Natalie Dalton''': I was more interested in getting loaded than taking care of my baby girl. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': The bodega was just around the corner. She [Olivia] went to get you some aspirin. 
:'''Natalie Dalton''': And when I woke up a couple hours later, she was gone. I went through the entire building, knocked on every door, went through the streets screaming her name. I haven't had a drink since that night. That's what it took to open my eyes. But it was too late. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': It's never too late. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Natalie Dalton''': You've been looking for these men for nine years. What makes you think you're going to find them now? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Olivia. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': You're a very pretty woman. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. What happened? 
:'''Jackie Thompson''': You can go now. 
:'''Jo Danville''': If I had to guess, I bet you had a father who told you you would never amount to anything. And after you heard that about a hundred times you started to believe it. 
:'''Jackie Thompson''': Get out. 
:'''Jo Danville''': So you started dating guys who would smack you around. 
:'''Jackie Thompson''': Get the hell out. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': I want a last name for Wes. 
:'''Kenny Hexton''': I couldn't tell you. We... we just met a couple weeks before the robbery. I barely knew that guy. After it all went south, we figured the less we knew about each other, the better. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': ''(To Kenny Hexton)'' That can't be easy. Being on the run like that. All that picking up, moving. New town, new faces. None of that changes once you're on the inside. Not if I have anything to say about it, and I will. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': I want the girl, Olivia. Tell me where she is. 
:'''Kenny Hexton''': I don't know. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Well, then I don't know where you might end up. I'm thinking maybe, uh, New Mexico right now. How about that? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kenny Hexton''': ''(Giving Wes a gun)'' It's time to lighten the load. 
:'''Wes Dillon''': ''(Knocks Kenny with the gun)'' You're sick, you know that? ''(He kicks Kenny repeatedly)'' Killing little kids is where we part ways. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': This writing style is very unique. Look at the I's. Exaggerated slant. Alternating capital and lowercase letters between words. Someone may be able to recognize it. 
:'''Adam Ross''': I'm not sure I follow. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': We use it like a missing persons billboard. Instead of a face, we use this. 'If you recognize the handwriting, call the NYPD tips line.' That kind of thing. See? Out of the box thinking. Get it out to every media source you can think of. I want it on electronic billboards, too. 
:'''Adam Ross''': All over the state? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': The country. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Samantha Rogers''': Why would Tony do that to me? Lie to me like that? 
:'''Don Flack''': We believe his real name is Wes. He's a fugitive. Been on the run since 2002. 
:'''Samantha Rogers''': For what? 
:'''Don Flack''': Murder. 
:'''Samantha Rogers''': He killed someone? 
:'''Don Flack''': He's also wanted for kidnapping. 
:'''Samantha Rogers''': Wait, you mean Madison? 
:'''Don Flack''': Her real name is Olivia Dalton. She's not his daughter. 
:'''Samantha Rogers''': That can't be. You should have seen them together, the way he treated her. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wes Dillon''': You're young. There's gonna be other boys. 
:'''Olivia Dalton''': Not like him. 
:'''Wes Dillon''': You're one of a kind, you know that? You're a real princess. Now, if this guy can't see that, you don't want to be with him anyway. I could have a chat with him. You know... little one-on-one. Little man-to-man? I can be pretty convincing. 
:'''Olivia Dalton''': He's 12. 
:'''Wes Dillon''': So, what are you saying? You saying I'm too old, I can't take him? 
:'''Olivia Dalton''': Okay, yeah. Go beat him up for me. But leave me the last punch. 
:'''Wes Dillon''': Deal. ''(He kisses her)''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(After Wes has been shot by the cops)''
:'''Olivia Dalton''': ''(Sobbing)'' You're gonna be okay. We'll get you to a doctor right now. 
:'''Wes Dillon''': Don't be sad, okay, princess? You get to go home now. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': Olivia Dalton. That's your name. You're from Queens, New York. Your mom's name is Natalie. Remember? I saw her just before I came here. She wanted you to know that she never forgot about you. She never stopped looking for you. She never stopped hoping that you were out here somewhere... alive. She loves you, Olivia. 
:'''Olivia Dalton''': ''(About Wes)'' He loved me, too. My father loved me. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Natalie Dalton''': Thank you. Both of you for all that you've done. ''(Jo motions for Natalie to go join Olivia)'' Is... is that her? ''(She peers inside the office)'' She's beautiful. Can I go...? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': Of course you can. You're her mother. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jo Danville''': Why didn't you say something about what happened to you on that roof? You put it in the paperwork, but you didn't tell anyone. Why? 
:'''Mac Taylor''': I'm still trying to wrap my head around a few things, Jo. I've eluded death on many occasions, but this time it was different. It was staring me right in the eyes. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mac Taylor''': What am I doing? How much longer can I do this? 
:'''Jo Danville''': So that's why you went back to the bodega homicide, the last unsolved case. You wanted to see if you could find some closure. 
:'''Mac Taylor''': I've done a lot of good. 
:'''Jo Danville''': Yeah.
:'''Mac Taylor''': Maybe I've done my part. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': Oh, did you get your results back? 
:'''Danny Messer''': ''(Imitating Al Pacino)'' Say hello to Sergeant Messer. ''(They hug)''
:'''Lindsay Monroe''': You passed? 
:'''Danny Messer''': I passed! ''(They kiss)''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

[[Category:CSI: NY seasons]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Dan Crenshaw</title>
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      <text bytes="19569" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021]

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==
*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions in life have been based around the latter.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (2020), p. 117

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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      <text bytes="20998" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021]

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==
*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
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      <text bytes="21094" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**Rejecting the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen&quot;, [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021]

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==
*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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      <text bytes="21403" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**Rejecting the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen&quot;, [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021]

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==

[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]

*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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      <text bytes="21407" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021]
 rejection of the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen.&quot;

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==

[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]

*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
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[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
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      <text bytes="21407" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021], rejection of the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen.&quot;

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==

[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]

*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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      <text bytes="21800" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* There's a notion out there that service members are victims somehow, that they were being used by some government overlord to do their political bidding. That's not true. We're an all-volunteer force and we love what we do. We understand that there are bad people out there that seek to do harm against the United States' interests. We are willing to go out there and fight them.
** p. 119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021], rejection of the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen.&quot;

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==

[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]

*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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      <text bytes="22546" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Dan Crenshaw, official portrait, 116th Congress 2.jpg|thumb| Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.]]

'''[[w:Dan Crenshaw|Daniel Crenshaw]]''' (born March 14, 1984) is an American politician who is the [[w:United States House of Representatives|U.S. Representative]]-elect for [[w:Texas's 2nd congressional district|Texas's 2nd congressional district]]. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], he is a former [[w:United States Navy SEALs|Navy SEAL]] officer. He was elected in the [[w:United States House of Representatives elections in Texas, 2018|2018 election]].

[[File:Galveston Island Park Beach Sand Castle (5984947488).jpg|thumb|It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.]]
[[File:A home away from war, Texas calling all Purple Heart recipients 130201-A-WO769-001.jpg|thumb|Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.]]
[[File:US Navy 031114-N-5862D-012 Officer Candidates stand at attention.jpg|thumb|You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.]]
[[File:A seal during the sun set.jpg|thumb|The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.]]
[[File:Bronze Star Medal pinned on Navy SEAL.jpg|thumb|If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.]]

==Quotes==
===2018===
*As a long-time supporter of Israel, I will ensure that our alliance does not waver, and that America continues to support Israeli security, advocate for her on the international stage, and contain the threat from Iran and terrorism across the region.
**[https://crenshawforcongress.com/supporting-our-israeli-allies/ 19 April 2018 or earlier]

*Israel is our most important ally in the Middle East. We must always stand with Israel.
**[https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/987001162896433152 19 April 2018]

*I've always supported President Trump, I didn't always support candidate Trump.
**[https://freebeacon.com/politics/super-pac-whitewashes-former-seals-battle-wound-attack-ad/ 9 May 2018]

*I always ask the question, like what? You know, like what is he undermining exactly? You know what – what democratic freedoms have been undermined? We just had an election where we switched power in the House. Democracy is at work. People are voting in record numbers.
**19 November 2018 on CBS &quot;Face the Nation&quot;, reported on by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLZaKMdObVI&amp;t=1m Fox] and [https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2018/11/19/dan-crenshaw-face-the-nation-n2536177 Town Hall]

===2019===
*Tonight I voted no on the spending bill. Here’s why:&lt;br&gt;I reluctantly voted against this bill,&lt;br&gt;There are many things to like in this bill and many examples of good-faith compromises. But this vote was about the border security debate, an issue which shouldn't be debatable in the first place. There are approximately 400,000 illegal immigrants apprehended while crossing our border each year, and this bill does not take the necessary steps to fix the problem. This issue is not about who wins arbitrary political battles; it's about the security and sovereignty of our nation. When will we start taking it seriously and finally give our border agents the resources they've requested?
**[https://twitter.com/RepDanCrenshaw/status/1096249589101924353 14 February 2019]

===2020===

==== ''Fortitude'' (2020) ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage'' (New York: Twelve Books, 2020), First edition April 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* I recognize my corpsman's voice, as he works on my wounds.&lt;br&gt;I say, '''&quot;Dude, don't get blown up. It sucks.&quot;'''&lt;br&gt;He laughs and tells me to shut up.
** p. 20

* My mother spent half a decade staring death in the face, burdened with caring for two small boys whom she would not live to see grow up. She lived day to day in ever-increasing pain. The cancer afflicted her- and the cancer treatments afflicted her, too. Six rounds of chemotherapy on top of radiation treatments are a brutal experience for even the strongest constitution. Self-pity is never a useful state. But if anyone had reason to feel sorry for herself, and to complain a bit, it was my mom. She never did.
** p. 22-23

* A little perspective can be the difference between spiraling into dark despair and clawing your way back to the light. A brave young woman fought through despair twenty years before, which meant I could do it now, suffering in darkness in a sterile hospital room in Germany. So when the doctors told me I had virtually no chance of seeing ever again, I just heard one thing: ''Virtually''.
** p. 23

* As my career progressed, I took note of the leaders I respected. I thought about their actions, their manner of speaking, their habits. I noticed the way they incorporated humor to give a successful briefing, interacted gracefully with their subordinates, and thought creatively about tactical situations. I observed how some leaders would react too emotionally in tense situations, and how the team reacted as a result. Calm breeds calm, and panic breeds panic. Were these great leaders the fastest or the strongest? The best shooters? Not always. The qualities that made SEAL leaders great were rarely physical in nature. They listened. They empowered their team to be successful, carefully entrusting individuals with additional responsibility. They highlighted good performance publicly and criticized bad performance privately. They didn't waste their men's time. They were prepared and thoughtful with mission planning. They were articulate but also genuine. They came across as real people with humor and emotions instead of just robotic military men.
** p. 46

* The question is: How do we become the heroes we want to be? My answer: Sanctioned intellectual property theft, that's how. No one has a patent on good habits. You can steal them. Identify your heroes, and emulate the character traits that make them more successful than you currently are.
** p. 49

* Details matter. Ignoring them can be the difference between success and failure.
** p. 114

* In combat, attention to detail is the barrier between life and death. We generally don't like death, so we pay attention to details. We also don't like failure. We don't like failing in our mission and we don't like failing the people who are relying on us. Ignoring the small stuff leads to both of those unenviable failures.
** p. 115

* '''You ever wonder why we are always doing inspections in the military? Why do we obsess over perfect creases, shiny shoes, and crisply made beds? It's simple: If you can't get the small stuff right, you won't get the big stuff right. If you ignore the relatively unimportant details, then you are more likely to ignore the very important details, the stuff that actually counts. This is true of running a town, a city, or a country, but also for running your own life.'''
** p. 116

* A favorite memory of many veterans is their time sitting around grumbling incessantly about their circumstances with their teammates. I have to admit that we do this ''way'' more than the average group of people. It's like a continuous group therapy project. When the guys stop complaining, leadership starts to worry. What's wrong with them? Are they depressed? Something wrong at home? The reality is that in these high-performing environments, where everyone is a perfectionist and overachiever, people like to point out deficiencies in the most over-the-top fashion, usually with a side of sarcastic and cutting humor. The good news is that they also aspire to fix those problems. Or maybe we are just a bunch of divas. I don't know. Maybe it's both.
** p. 123

* Writing this book was the first time I thought deeply about the lessons I'd derived from the SEAL teams, and life in general. '''It is quite the challenge to examine your own attributes, your failings, and then attempt to extract the lessons from your past that make you who you are today. This book is largely a product of that journey.'''
** p. 245

* Some of my most important edits came from my wife, Tara, who knows me best. She is my rock and is responsible for the confidence I have today. She stuck with me through the worst of times, and she understands the lesson of fortitude better than anyone. She is also the first to tell me when I don't live up to those lessons. Thank you, Mom, for being the first to show me a true hero. You are the embodiment of fortitude, and my brother and I have spent our lives trying to live up to your memory. This book is for you.
** p. 247

==== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) interview ====
:&lt;small&gt;''Modern Warriors: Real Stories From Real Heroes'' by Pete Hegseth. New York: HarperCollins Publishers. First edition November 2020.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''The ability to deal with adversity, to accept pain, to be calm under pressure- these are the traits we look for. Some can be taught, much is innate.'''
** p. 115

* As bad as I had it, lots of people have had it worse than me. Lots of others had made the ultimate sacrifice. I've got the initials of eight of those guys tattooed on my chest. So even when you're lying bleeding on the ground, unable to see much of anything, and later totally facedown in a bed for six weeks, you know what? Your buddies don't even get to have that chance because they're dead. That sounds morbid, but it's true. It should toughen your spine a little bit and make you feel grateful for being here at all. Too many people don't show gratitude for the new mission that they might have. They complain. They complain about the Veterans Administration. They complain about their disability payments. They complain about their lack of opportunity. Well, your buddies don't get to complain at all, and I think they would be grateful for anything. '''Living with duty means having a duty to those who aren't able to complete their mission because they would want you to keep going. They would want you to live life with a purpose. That's a message for civilians; that's a message for veterans.'''
** p. 118-119

* There's a notion out there that service members are victims somehow, that they were being used by some government overlord to do their political bidding. That's not true. We're an all-volunteer force and we love what we do. We understand that there are bad people out there that seek to do harm against the United States' interests. We are willing to go out there and fight them.
** p. 119

* Everybody I knew who became a SEAL wanted to be one for a long time. You wanted this. You knew that you were, or wanted to be, an outside-the-box thinker, a sort of renegade or rebel, but also a strictly disciplined soldier. So you became that before you got to BUD/S (basic underwater demolition/SEAL training). BUD/S just made you prove it and then trained you to harness that. You learn how to exist in two different mental states: those of an ultra-aggressive combatant and a chivalrous gentleman. And you can instantaneously transition between the two. That's a warrior.
** p. 120

* In BUD/S the failures are more surprising than the successes. A lot of times, the most athletic, the fittest, the physically strongest candidates were the ones who quit. They should have been able to just crush it, but they didn't. Part of that is because they spent too much time on physical preparation and not enough on mental preparation. They believed that becasue of their physicality, their athleticism, they wouldn't be so surprised when faced with immediate failure. Those failures happen so fast in BUD/S. Your body fails constantly. That's what the program is designed to do to you. It is not physically possible to do everything that is being demanded of you. So you break down; you can't do every repetition of every exercise. We called them beatdowns for a reason. The instructors want us to break down and run away with our tail between our legs. They keep pressing us to go on, even after you thought that the activity was over. That happens to you over and over again. Your muscles fail you. And the instructors understand that difference between quitting- a failure of the will- and failing- your body giving out when you have already pushed yourself past what you once perceived as your limit. They respect that you hung in there long enough to truly fail. That's probably why you see so much anxiety and increasing suicide in our larger society. We have the most comfortable society the world has ever known. And that's good; I'm glad we do. But it's also made some people weak, and they break down when confronted with suffering. '''If you want to be a person who doesn't freak out just because you're scared or whatever else you're doing, then decide to be that person. Every time you fall short of that goal, look back on that situation and tell yourself you're going to do better next time. Eventually you will.'''
** p. 121

* Politics is the social manifestation of a set of policies. When I speak to kids, I let them know that there's a crucial difference between politics and policy. If you want to go into politics, then you have to be a representative of other people. To do that, you have to be able to communicate well. So before you decide to run for office, you have to ask yourself a few questions: Do you care about just one policy or issue? Are you good at communicating? Are you able to frame and win an argument? What are you good at? I don't think that all elected officials or candidates think through answers to these, and lots of candidates don't win because they quit on that notion of self-examination. For me, politics happened overnight when an opportunity presented itself. Because the military makes you think you have to be uber-prepared for everything, I thought that maybe I'd have a seat in about ten years. We did it in three months.
** p. 125

* I encourage the American public to look beyond the headlines. If you read beyond the headlines, not only will you be outraged, you'll be a better thinker. Even good journalists are defeated by bad headlines. They don't write the headlines. Editors do, and they are created more as clickbait than truth. they are designed to appeal on an emotional level. I can't make the media do anything different. I can't force them. I can't shame them all day long, which is what I do, but they don't care. So many journalists are so left-wing that they are fighting an ideological battle. They'll do whatever it takes to drive their side's biases home. And that's sad for the good journalists who are out there writing good and fair pieces.
** p. 128-129

* It's up to us as consumers of information to be smarter, to take control. The only way a problem gets fixed is if you fix it as an individual. Don't just read to confirm your own preconceived bias. Do your research. Wait to form an opinion. You do no harm when you say you don't know and you don't have an opinion. There's no shame in that. There's a lot of shame in having a strong opinion with no facts. Too many people are very quick to feel a truth. You can't feel a truth. You can have feelings, but don't pretend that your feelings are what matter the most. Don't let your feelings drive your reality. A lot of people, veterans and civilians, fall victim to victimhood. They feel like they are victims. What are you doing, then? You're removing power from yourself. Now you're letting somebody else have control over you. That's a terrible existence. Even if you were really unfairly treated, you have to tell yourself a story of overcoming that. It's the only way out. Period. Full stop.
** p. 129

===2021===
*Don’t kid yourself into believing that’s why we lost. It’s not. I’ll tell you openly. I'm not wrong.
**[https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/08/going-viral-rep-dan-crenshaw-tells-supporters-dont-kid-2020-election-absolutely-not-stolen-election-video-rinoreveal/ 12 August 2021], rejection of the claim that the 2020 United States presidential election was &quot;rigged&quot; or &quot;stolen.&quot;

===2022===
*This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…
**18 June 2022 [https://twitter.com/DanCrenshawTX/status/1538253445181972481 tweet] about [[Alex Stein]] after Stein called Crenshaw a RINO in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx07Eg815fs earlier encounter]

==Quotes about Crenshaw==

[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]

*a super PAC called Conservative Results Matter is going after Republican Dan Crenshaw, calling him an “anti-Trump liberal,” in the two-way GOP runoff to replace retiring Texas Rep. Ted Poe. “‘Insane, hateful, idiot.’ These are the words so-called Republican Dan Crenshaw used to describe President Trump,” the narrator says in a new TV ad from the super PAC. “Crenshaw called Trump an ‘idiot.’” The attack mirrors a Facebook post by Crenshaw’s runoff opponent, state Rep. Kevin Roberts, which cites an old Facebook post of Crenshaw’s and says Crenshaw “openly [attacked] Donald Trump as an ‘idiot,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘ignorant.’”
**[https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/02/trump-republican-primaries-midterms-564181 2 May 2018]

*Not only was the SNL blowup a huge boon to Crenshaw’s campaign and public image, but it also totally blotted out any memory of the fact that the former Navy SEAL is linked to far-right conspiracy group “Tea Party,” which popularized the Pizzagate conspiracy. On August 31, Newsweek reported that Crenshaw and four other GOP nominees were or had been administrators on a popular Facebook group that bolstered the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, pushed Pizzagate, and provided a comfortable home for racist chit-chat.&lt;br&gt;When Newsweek contacted Crenshaw about the group he was listed as an administrator and had posted two of his campaign movies to the group, Crenshaw told the publication he’d “never actively managed or interacted with that page.” He then removed himself from the group.
**12 November 2018 [https://forward.com/schmooze/414067/new-gop-rep-buries-hatchet-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-distracting-from-link/ Jenny Singer of The Forward]

* Congressman Dan Crenshaw has certainly made an impact since being elected to the House of Representatives for Texas's Second Congressional District. He ran as a Republican in the primary with very little previous experience and virtually no money to take on candidates with deeper pockets and more political and legislative experience. He won, like he has so often in life. Since taking office, he has gained in prominence within the Republican Party and is considered to be one of its young rising stars. That should come as no surprise given Congressman Crenshaw's bona fides.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 116-117

* When he was twelve, Congressman Crenshaw's father suggested he read Dick Marcincko's ''Rogue Warrior''. Marcinko was a Navy SEAL and the man who first commanded SEAL Team 6. His memoir fired the imaginations of many future SEAL team members. Congressman Crenshaw possessed a keen sense of adventure at an early age (he originally thought he wanted to be a spy), but after reading that book, he told himself that a seal was who he wanted to become. '''In Congressman Crenshaw's mind, there is an important distinction between deciding what you want to do with your life and deciding what kind of person you want to be. Many of the decisions he's made in life have been based around the latter.'''
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117

* His father worked in the petroleum industry, and the family traveled a great deal: Scotland, Egypt, Ecuador, and Columbia. As a result, Crenshaw developed a perspective on the world that deepened his appreciation for America and what it offered. He also wanted to model himself after his mother. For five years, Susan Carol Crenshaw fought a battle against breast cancer. Her positivity and refusal to give in to a victim's mentality had a profound effect on him long after she passed away when he was ten.&lt;br&gt;A 2006 graduate of Tufts University with a degree in international relations, Congressman Crenshaw was also enrolled in the naval ROTC program there. He commissioned in the navy immediately after graduation. He served for ten years, experienced five tours of duty, and was medically retired in 2016. In 2012, while on an operation in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, an IED explosion seriously wounded him. He lost his right eye and very nearly lost the vision in his left. His recovery was miraculous, and he later deployed to Bahrain and South Korea. He served with great distinction during his military career and was awarded two Bronze Stars, one with Valor; the Purple Heart; and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal with Valor, among many others.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 117-118

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Crenshaw, Dan}}
[[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:1984 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:Military leaders from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Scotland]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>212336</id>
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        <ip>2600:1005:B151:FC2:BD62:3747:3FDC:B082</ip>
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      <text bytes="16677" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|1]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]] [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]] '''12''' [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]] ([[SpongeBob SquarePants|Main]]) | '''Movies''': [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]] / [[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]] | '''Spin-offs:''' [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years|Kamp Koral]] / [[The Patrick Star Show]]
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:SpongeBob_SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''''' (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|a movie]], followed by several short films, and video games.

==Episode 1==
===''FarmerBob (1.1)''===
:'''Aliens''': Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!
:'''Old Man Jenkins''': Y'all come back and invade any time.
:'''SpongeBob''': Annihilate safely.

===''Gary &amp; Spot (1.2)''===

==Episode 2==
===''The Nitwitting (2.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's your club, hmm?
:'''Patrick''': Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. It's a place where guys like me can give their ''[reading off a card]'' &quot;powerful intellects&quot; a much-needed rest.

===''The Ballad of Filthy Muck (2.2)''===
:'''Old Man Jenkins''': Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!

==Episode 3==
===''The Krusty Slammer (3.1)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Vandalism is a crime too, you’ve been caught red handed

===''Pineapple RV (3.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, why is your house... ''[yelling]'' Driving on the road!
:'''Patrick''': Because we turned it into a RV. 
:'''SpongeBob''': We don't want you to miss that flower blooming.

==Episode 4==
===''Gary's Got Legs (4.1)''===

===''King Plankton (4.2)''===

==Episode 5==
===''Plankton's Old Chum (5.1)''===

===''Stormy Weather (5.2)''===

==Episode 6==
===''Swamp Mates (6.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': ''[walks up the stairs and hears knocking, then opening the door to reveal Patrick at the entrance]'' Huh?!
:'''Patrick''': Hey buddy! Ready for our playdate?! ''[squeezes Bubble Bass into a tight hug]''
:'''Bubble Bass''': ''[slaps Patrick and picks him up to scold him]'' I will not associate with such a dimwitted doofus.
:'''Patrick''': ''[flattered]'' Aw, you're just saying that!

===''One Trick Sponge (6.2)''===

==Episode 7==
===''The Krusty Bucket (7.1)''===

===''Squid's on a Bus (7.2)''===

==Episode 8==
===''Sandy's Nutty Nieces (8.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': Story time! (He blows up an inflatable book and begins to read) &quot;Goldyfish and the Three Sea Bears&quot;.
:'''Macadamia''': (pops the inflatable book) Don't waste your breath...
:'''Hazelnut''': And don't make a hassle...
:'''Pistachio''': Some kids like to read...
:'''Macadamia, Hazelnut, and Pistachio''': BUT WE'D RATHER WRASSLE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sandy''': I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.
:'''SpongeBob''': What's that?
:'''Sandy''': Don't babysit my nieces!

===''Insecurity Guards (8.2)''===

==Episode 9==
===''Broken Alarm (9.1)''===

===''Karen's Baby (9.2)''===

==Episode 10==
===''Shell Games (10.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Hi, rock. I'm trying to enjoy a snack.
:'''Tony''': Hey, the name is Tony, not rock. And I think it's time for you to vamoose.
:'''Patrick''': Huh? What's a vanmoose? ''[Patrick imagines a moose of a van.]''
:'''Tony''': ''[chuckles]'' You're a few pickles short of a jar, ain't ya, kid? I'll make it simple. ''[knocks on his shell]'' This is my shell. I live here, you don't, so beat it!
:'''Patrick''': Oh no! You can't fool me! This is my rock, and I'm not leaving! ''[pulls out glue and glues himself on Tony's shell. Tony tries to get Patrick off of him, but gives up.]''
:'''Tony''': Alright, you daba dose. Stay up there if you want. I've got places to be.

===''Senior Discount (10.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. ''[Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his &quot;condiment soup&quot;]'' And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...
:'''Frankie Billy''': Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
:'''Old Man Jenkins''': Respect your elders! ''[hits Frankie Billy on the head]''
:'''Frankie Billy''': Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! ''[runs off crying]''

==Episode 11==
===''Mind the Gap (11.1)''===
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[cool voice]'' Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking? Oh, yeah. ''[enters the lounge]'' Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats. Oh, I can dig it. ''[One patron squeals happily and melts. SpongeBob slides across the floor just as the lounge's Maître D' shows up.]''
:'''Maître D'''': Oh, welcome, man. You're the coolest customer we've ever had.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[cool voice]'' Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy. ''[pinches his cheek]''
:'''Maître D'''': Can I seat you at the coolest table? ''[points to the coolest table with all the cool people in it]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[cool voice]'' No, thank you. I'm here to meet up with a real cool cat. Oh, there he his. Hey, Squideroonie!
:''[Squidward struggles to get his foot out of the chair, but falls over.]''
:'''Maître D'''': ''[deeply shocked]'' You're with him?
:'''Squidward''': ''[crawls over to SpongeBob]'' Yes, you're with me. And he is my— best... ''[twitches his eye and struggles to say &quot;friend&quot;]'' friend...
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[cool voice]'' You heard the man, folks. He's my best friend. Can you dig it? ''[snaps his fingers]''
:'''Maître D'''': ''[confused]'' Huh? ''[Everyone snaps their fingers.]''

===''Dirty Bubble Returns (11.2)''===
:'''[The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]''
:'''Dirty Bubble''': I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! ''[laughs evilly]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Not Goo Lagoon! ''[The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words]'' Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! ''[Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.]'' Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. ''[proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]''
:'''Dirty Bubble''': Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! ''[slowly shrinks, stammering]'' Stop that rhyme! ''[screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob]'' ''[SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.]'' ''[high pitched]'' I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! ''[evil laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Aww, little mini DB is so cute! ''[Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]''
:'''Lady officer''': We got him!
:'''SpongeBob''': Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
:'''Dirty Bubble''': Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! ''[complaining noises]''
:'''Lady officer''': Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble]'' It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. ''[evil laugh]'' ''[Police officers gasp]'' Just kidding! ''[laughs]'' ''[Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]''
:'''Police officers''': ''[angrily]'' Gesundheit.
:'''SpongeBob''': Thank you! ''[looks at lady officer]'' You got some schmutz under there. ''[Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]''

==Episode 12==
===''Jolly Lodgers (12.1)''===
:'''Squidward''': Well, now this is very nice indeed ''[begins the relax on his bed until he melts on the bed to the bathroom tub]'' Mmm... This is Heaven. ''[All of a sudden, SpongeBob enters Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.]'' Hello? ''[peeks out]'' Anyone there? Hello? ''[Squidward shrugs it off and continues relaxing. He then drowns into the tub. Suddenly, Patrick comes from the other side to enter Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.]'' Hello? Did someone just come in? ''[Both SpongeBob and Patrick enter Squidward's room until they bump into each other.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't you just love playing Hotel: Slam and Run?
:'''Patrick''': I enjoy it an... ''[puts his tooth back into his mouth]'' ...intellectual challenge. ''[SpongeBob and Patrick stands up, starts laughing, and both run out of Squidward's room. Squidward peeks from the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on his head.]''
:'''Squidward''': Alright, I know I heard something in here! Ohh... ''[rubs his eyes.]'' Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough.

===''Biddy Sitting (12.2)''===

==''{{w|SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout}} (Episodes 13–14)''==
:''[The episode starts with Patchy the Pirate struggling to start his boat on someone's driveway.]''
:'''Patchy''': Oh, hi, kids! Patchy Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start. ''[turns :the ignition with his key]'' And start! ''[chuckles]''
:''[Patchy's boat wouldn't start and Potty comes out of the trunk.]''
:'''Potty''': Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas...
:'''Patchy''': Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here!
:'''Potty''': ''[flies onto the hood]'' I see the problem! ''[bangs on the hood with the hammer]''
:''[The hood sent Patchy flying backwards and smashing into the garage door via airbag.]''
:'''Patchy''': ''[groaning]'' Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. ''[pulls up his pants and reveals his wavy legs]''
:'''Potty''': Squawk, squawk!
:'''Patchy''': ''[takes the present from the trunk and happily laughs]'' Now to see which way the wind is blowing. ''[sticks his finger in his mouth, holds out his hand with a sail on it and the with blows the other direction]'' This way! ''[the wind blows Patchy down the street]'' Whoa!
:'''Potty''': ''[follows Patchy while squawking]'' Hard to port!
:''[Meanwhile, at the brink of dawn, SpongeBob is sleeping in his bed. Gary is holding a birthday present for SpongeBob while sleeping. Moments later, the alarm clock goes off.]''
:'''SpongeBob's alarm clock''': Wake up!
:'''Gary''': ''[meows &quot;Happy Birthday&quot;]''
:'''SpongeBob''': What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things.
:''[SpongeBob hops out of his bed and streamers and confetti fly out. He blows the noise maker a couple times and laughs. He opens Gary's present, which reveals to be a jellyfish net made out of slime.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself?
:'''Gary''': ''[gives SpongeBob a thumb's up with his slime]'' Meow!
:''[SpongeBob swings the slime jellyfish net around, but splashes slime all over his bedroom. Some slime flew out his window and landed in Squidward's coffee as he's getting the newspaper. Squidward sips some of his coffee, unaware of the slime being in it. SpongeBob swings the net until it is gone.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Best present ever! ''[hugs Gary and laughs]''

==Episode 15==
===''SpongeBob in RandomLand (15.1)''===

===''SpongeBob's Bad Habit (15.2)''===
:''[customers in the Krusty Krab are eating slowly, and making noises while doing so, which gets Squidward more and more angry with each noise. A customer burps which pushes Squidward to his breaking point]''
:'''Squidward''': '''AAAH! ANOTHER ROTTEN DAY AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!'''

==Episode 16==
===''Handemonium (16.1)''===

===''Breakin' (16.2)''===

==Episode 17==
===''Boss for a Day (17.1)''===

===''The Goofy Newbie (17.2)''===
:'''Goofy Goober manager''': I think you better go home and clean up.
:'''Patrick''': ''[whinny]'' But I haven't had my first ice cream break!
:'''Goofy Goober manager''': I'll give you another chance tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, I'm afraid you're fired... ''[clears throat]'' in a most appreciative way.

==Episode 18==
===''The Ghost of Plankton (18.1)''===

===''My Two Krabses (18.2)''===

==Episode 19==
===''Knock Knock, Who's There? (19.1)''===

===''Pat Hearts Squid (19.2)''===
:'''Squidward''': I said, '''BE QUIET OR I'M CALLING THE--''' Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! ''[Squidward's house falls and crumbles to bits]''

==Episode 20==
===''Lighthouse Louie (20.1)''===
:'''Bubble Bass''': EVERYBODY PANIC!!

===''Hiccup Plague (20.2)''===

==Episode 21==
===''A Cabin in the Kelp (21.1)''===
:'''Sandy''': Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
:'''Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl''': ''[whimpering]'' Gal Pals. ''[The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Wow! ''[the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick]'' Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. ''[takes it and gets another one from the old lady]'' Wow! ''[takes another pinecone on a stick]'' I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
:'''Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl''': ''[confused]'' Huh?
:'''Sandy''': ''[laughs in relief]'' It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
:'''Flibberty Gibbet''': ''[off-screen]'' Did someone say my name? ''[the girls turn and see her for real this time]'' Hi, gals!
:'''Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl''': Flibberty Gibbet! ''[scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]''
:'''Flibberty Gibbet''': I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[follows the girls]'' Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
:'''Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl''': Gal Pals! ''[crash onto the screen] [The words &quot;The End&quot; is shown and the episode ends.]''

===''The Hankering (21.2)''===
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that. ''[cuts to Mr. Krabs invading Plankton's trash can, looking for some chum]'' Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere!
:'''Karen''': ''[comes out with a flashlight]'' Hello? ''[Mr. Krabs hides behind the trash can]'' Who's out there?
:'''Plankton''': ''[comes out with a bat]'' All right, miscreant, come over here where I can destroy you! ''[swings the bat around, but gets crushed by it]''
:''[Mr. Krabs attempts to escape, but Karen catches him.]''
:'''Karen &amp; Plankton''': Krabs??
:'''Plankton''': What are you doing here? ''[crawls out from under his bat]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Nothing, nothing! I, uh, ''[takes the shoe out of his mouth]'' lost my shoe! See? Found it. ''[laughs]'' Okay, bye. ''[his stomach growls loudly]''
:'''Plankton''': ''[suspiciously]'' Hold it. What's going on with you, Krabs? Your clothes are a mess and your stomach's making strange noises.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[wears the shoe]'' What are you talking—I'm... ''[stammers until he gives in]'' Oh, fine! ''[throws away the shoe]'' I'm hooked on chum, okay?!
:'''Plankton''': Say what?! ''[his skeleton falls out in shock]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Look at me now! Digging through garbage for scraps! ''[sobs uncontrollably]''

==Episode 22==
===''Who R Zoo? (22.1)''===
:'''Patrick''': Oh, that's it now. Let it all out.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sobs]'' I-I just want to pet the critters. Does that make me an animal? ''[continues to cry]''
:'''Patrick''': That mean old zookeeper! ''[scratches his back]'' He even looks like a monkey and he smells like one too! ''[scoffs]'' You should just make your own zoo.

===''The Kwarantined Krab (22.2)''===

==Episode 23==
===''Plankton's Intern (23.1)''===

===''Patrick's Tantrum (23.2)''===

==Episode 24==
===''Bubble Bass' Tab (24.1)''===

===''Kooky Cooks (24.2)''===

==''Escape From Glove World (Episode 25)''==

==Episode 26==
===''Krusty Koncessionaires (26.1)''===

===''Dream Hoppers (26.2)''===

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12)}}
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants seasons]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>The Twelve Tasks of Asterix</title>
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'''''[[w:The Twelve Tasks of Asterix|The Twelve Tasks of Asterix]]''''' (''Les Douze travaux d'Astérix'') is a 1976 [[w:animation|animated]] [[w:feature film|feature film]] based on the [[w:Asterix comics|''Asterix'' comic book series]]. [[w:René Goscinny|René Goscinny]] and [[w:Albert Uderzo|Albert Uderzo]], the creators of the series, wrote the story and directed the film themselves.
:''Directed by [[w:René Goscinny|René Goscinny]], [[w:Albert Uderzo|Albert Uderzo]], Pierre Watrin and Henri Gruel. Produced by	[[w:Georges Dargaud|Georges Dargaud]], René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo. Screenplay by [[w:Pierre Tchernia|Pierre Tchernia]], René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo.''
{{center|'''Twelve mighty tasks to prove the Gauls are gods or mortals!'''}}

==Dialogue==
:'''Julius Caesar''': Brutus, stop playing about with that knife. You'll end up hurting somebody.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Roman Ghost''': You see, we're ghosts, and...
:'''Asterix''': I'm not interested in your story! Do you know what time it is?
:'''Roman Ghost''': Uh, no, but...
:'''Asterix''': You listen to me! We ran, we did the javelin, we did wrestling, we did the fountain of the priestesses, the mage from Egypt, the cook of the Titans, the crocodiles! But-we-can-not-sleep!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Obelix''': Oh, Asterix! He called me &quot;Fatty!&quot;

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Twelve Tasks of Asterix, The}}
[[Category:1976 films]]
[[Category:Belgian animated films]]
[[Category:French animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:Children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:Circus films]]
[[Category:Animated films based on comics]]
[[Category:Films about crocodilians]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Mortal Kombat 11</title>
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'''''[[w:Mortal Kombat 11|Mortal Kombat 11]]''''' is a 2019 fighting video game and a sequel to 2015's ''[[Mortal Kombat X]]''.

==Arcade Endings==
*'''Baraka''': Kronika's power was mine, mine to share with the tribe! In the new timeline I built, Tarkatans would be slaves no more. We would rule. We easily took Edenia, then Outworld and the Netherrealm. Last we challenged Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat. Within a thousand years, all realms fell to Tarkatan blade... And we have not run out of meat since! (''Laughing Evilly'')
*'''Cassie Cage''': For the second time in my life, I kicked the living shit out of an immortal. My prize? The Hourglass. Now I can change history! Talk about ridonkulous cosmic power. But despite what you may think about Beverly Hills girls, that is SO not my style. The Chosen One thing is for the Liu Kangs and Kitanas of the world. In the next timeline, all I want is to be a model soldier. To command the next generation of Special Forces. We were born to defend Earthrealm! Just like the heroes that inspired me...my parents. Okay, so there's one more thing I want: My mom back. Not just for me, but for dad. He and my mom deserve a happily-ever-after retirement. We'll never know how different things were the last time around. But we'll be together. A family. And that's all that matters.
*'''Cetrion''': Though I denied their truth, eventually I realized the wisdom of Liu Kang's words. There is virtue greater than my mother's desired balance. Good must be allowed to flourish. But no matter how I reshaped time, rooting out evil proved impossible. Though freed from want, mortals still killed each other. Divided by realm and race, they easily justified their hate. Hubris, greed, envy. To appreciate my gifts, mortal sins must be cleansed. Which is why I baptize the realms with fire. For eons mortals will battle evil, eventually achieving victory. And when they emerge from the darkness, they will be humbled. Eager to embrace the light.
*'''D'Vorah''': Vermin. That is the humanoid word for the Kytinn and our fellow insectoids. But with the Hourglass, This One can review history and give lie to that myth. Humanoids live to kill. Without a common enemy to fight, they divide. Destroy each other. Insectoids live to survive. No conflicts divide us. We build upon each other. Kin does not kill kin. So tell This One... Who are the vermin? Time for This One to write a more just history. One in which pesky humanoids finally take the place they deserve... Scrambling beneath our feet.
*'''Erron Black''': Truth be told it surprised me, putting down Kronika. Not bad for a scrawny kid from Wickett. Now that it's done, now what? I don't cotton to being Lord of Time, stuck on some island at the edge of nowhere. No, Erron Black likes being in the thick of it. Seems to me, time oughta stay all mashed up. It's been a hell of a ride. Gotta keep these thrills coming. Which means makin' sure no one gets a chance to screw this up. Once the hourglass gets dumped in the Sea of Blood, ain't no one ever shaping history again. What happens next? Hell if I know. And that's just the way I like it.
*'''Frost''': Sub-Zero dismissed me. Raiden dismissed me. They all did, even Kronika. Until I froze the smug looks off all their faces and became the Lin Kuei's new Grandmaster. The Hourglass offers even greater prospects. With it, I'll mold history to carve my name on everyone's lips. But even its power has limits. My vision can be upended by people's individual choices. Unlike Kronika, I won't let these imperfections fester until time itself must be restarted. The Lin Kuei will be my time warriors. Travelling through history, they'll get rid of those whose actions threaten my vision. From now on, no one will overlook my greatness. I'll never be dismissed again.
*'''Fujin''': As the new Keeper of Time, I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Who was I to design the destinies of mortals? As their protector, I had spent eons safeguarding them. But while I had grown to appreciate mortals deeply... ...I understood precious little about their daily existence. So I used the Hourglass to live hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. They spanned the possibilities of realm, race, gender, and faith. Most importantly, I learned the simple joy of ending each day in the warm embrace of family. Humbled by my new wisdom, I bend the arc of history not to my will, but to the service of those who must live it. While it is beyond my power to guarantee outcomes, I will give mortals the chance to have better, more peaceful lives.
*'''Geras''': Kronika's endless cycle of rewinding and restarting timelines had destroyed my spirit. But she refused to grant me either freedom or death. So I took her power to do what she could not. I would create one final, perfect timeline. Then, I would rest. But the task was more difficult than I imagined. Mortals refused to follow the paths I set for them. Timeline after timeline, my frustration grew. I began to understand why Kronika had been driven to madness. Perhaps mortals do not need a Lord of Time. I will sacrifice my body and my mantle to re-sculpt the Sands so that the Hourglass runs itself. And for the first time in all eternity. I can rest.... In peace.
*'''Jacqui Briggs''': The Hourglass was there for the taking, and I can think of only one thing: Dad. Killed, made a Revenant, resurrected. Since coming back, Dad's never forgotten the things he did for Quan Chi. I thought with the hourglass, I could fix all that. And I can. Dad won't die in that massacre. He'll never be a Revenant. But turns out, what my gut's told me since the start of all this is true. Dad and mom got together when he was in treatment. He doesn't suffer, they don't meet. And I'll never be born. And you know what? I'm good with that. I'm not just protecting Dad. I'm protecting everyone he'll risk his life to save. In my shoes, it's what he would. It's what he would. It's what a Briggs does. I know you'll never hear this, but goodbye Dad. I love you.
*'''Jade''': I held the power to shape time and destiny, but I was lost. Which Kahn should be restored - my lover, Kotal, or my loyal friend, Kitana? I heard Kotal's voice call out to me--Follow your heart, Jade. So I let my heart lead, and it took me to an unexpected place... a faint memory of home and... My mother. I restored my parents and Edenia, building a new era without Shao Kahn! And what a happy childhood I enjoyed... But as I matured, I sensed that I was no ordinary child. Kronika's power dwelled within me... Calling me to a higher purpose. When I came of age, I ascended to godhood as the Protector of Edenia. Armed with the knowledge of past timelines, I challenged Shinnok and Cetrion. Without Kronika's children pitting the realms against each other, all could be at peace. And remain so, under my watchful eyes.
*'''Jax''': All I wanted was to fix my life. Now I have the power to fix history. Raiden warns me, I can't fix everything. Change to much and I could lose Vera. Lose Jacqui. But this power's bigger than us. If I think only about helping myself, what kind of officer am I? What kind of man? I've been lucky. My family and I have lived the American Dream. But most people who look like me haven't had that chance. I owe it to them to put things right. And I'm not waiting centuries for people to get woke, when I've got the power to speed things up. I don't get it right the first time. Or the second. Or even the third. But eventually, I knock it out of the damn park. My family's back. The world's a better place for everyone. Turns out you CAN have everything. Anyone who says you can't, needs to dream bigger.
*'''Johnny Cage''': This whole adventure? Capital 'I' insane. I marry Sonya? Have a kid who actually likes me? Enquiring minds want to know how the hell that happens! So I get the Hourglass to show me how kicking Shinnok's ass, which I did beautifully, turned me from Hollywood mega-star into global icon. So far, so good. Until I let that fame screw me up. Didn't hit rock bottom until I saw just how badly I'd let down my little girl. I finally got what Old Man Me was saying about needing humility and maturity. But I also knew I couldn't get there without living the same life he did. So I restored the timeline, just as it was. With one, tiny little difference... Sonya's story won't end underneath the rubble of some busted-up Netherrealm castle. Because Johnny Cage flicks always have happy endings.
*'''Joker''': This was my dream vacation. I saw mayhem. Mutilation. It was all a gas... ...for a while. But these nincompoops? They didn't really GET me. Not even that pretty boy, Ninja Mime. Good night, sweet prince! I'd &quot;finished&quot; just about everyone worth finishing in Earthrealm and Outworld. Even loveable old Netherrealm. I was a lonely heart in search of new friends. But as luck would have it, I had just the gizmo to find them: [gushing] And oh, the Hourglass spoiled me! Havik and I are going to be bosom buddies. And what's that? My new pal knows an entire realm devoted to law and order? And he exists solely to disrupt it? Well I say, he and I need to get busy! Meet the League of Misunderstood Maniacs! We're giving Orderrealm an enema. And when we're done, who knows where we'll crash next. Maybe we'll come to your house and slip live grenades under your pillow. Maybe we'll gut your favorite pet. Or maybe we'll just... ...break your TV right now! [maniacal laughter]
*'''Kabal''': Shit sounds cool right? The power to control time. Immortality. Destiny. Well let me tell ya, this job sucks. There's no pay, no weekends, and your shift lasts forever. The only smart play is to turn back time and give it back to Kronika. Bet your ass she's grateful, too! I didn't ask for much. Just a chance to take out anyone who's ever tried to burn me. Black Dragon was always more a gig than a brotherhood, anyway. Now I get to live large, enjoying the simple life of a well-to-do family man. And if Shao Kahn or Shinnok ever come knocking, my family and I'll take 'em down. Just like I took down Shinnok's Mom. (''Chuckling happily'')
*'''Kano''': I've cut a lotta of deals, but none spiffier than this. I spared Kronika and she gave up the Hourglass. The power to shape time and history to my liking? Oh ho ho, fuck yeah! I set it up so everything came up aces, Every desire, every wish, every whim I ever had? Done and done. But I realized pretty quick I'd suck the fun out of everything. Without a fight, winning was worthless. Nah, the fun wasn't in the having, it was in the getting. So I changed things up one more time. Now what I want is always just out of reach, I gotta earn it. I score lotsa wins, but no always. And when I do win, (''Evil Chuckle'') it's something to savor!
*'''Kitana''': As I gazed upon the Hourglass, I knew what I must do: restore my homeland, Edenia to existence. Experiencing Edenia's verdant land for the first time... I've never felt such joy. But that joy was short-lived. Edenia's traditions, its languages, its culture. All were completely foreign, having been forbidden to me by Shao Kahn. I fit in with my people no better than a Tarkatan. The truth was hard. Though Edenian by blood, I am not an Edenian. I am an Outworlder. Not only that, I am Outworld's Kahn. I will use ancient Edenian teachings to make myself a better sovereign. With them, I will fulfill my life's mission to better all of Outworld's people, including Edenia.
*'''Kollector''': Kronika made big promises. Not big enough, for what my people suffered. Our hands built the Koliseum, the Palace...We were slaves. We served or we died. Every coin I took for Shao Kahn's tribute, Outworld owed my people. Not that my Nakanadan brothers and sisters joined arms to help me. No, every great treasure, I have won myself. I do not wait for handouts. I take what I desire. That is why I am now Kahn. Netherrealm. Earthrealm. Orderrealm. Chaosrealm. I want them all. And I will take them by right...Of MORTAL KOMBAT!
*'''Kotal Kahn''': In her last moments, Kronika tried to tempt me. Spare her and she would re-write history. With Jade as my queen I would rule an eternal Osh-Tekk empire that spanned all the realms. But Kronika never understood the Osh-Tekk heart. Our lives are cloth, woven from choice and circumstance. Pull even one thread, that cloth is torn asunder and made worthless. Now that I am tasked with keeping time, others beg me to have their histories rewritten. But as long as the Hourglass is mine, I will not shape destiny in any one being's favour. History will play out as determined by its players. Let the sands fall where they may.
*'''Kung Lao''': Of course I defeated Kronika. And when I did, there was only one thing wanted to do with the Hourglass. Undo the defeat of my ancestor, the Great Kung Lao. In my timeline, the Great Kung Lao is the undisputed Mortal Kombat champion. Earthrealm never loses another tournament. For generations, his example inspires millions to join the White Lotus Society and defend Earthrealm. They in turn inspire rebels to overthrow Shao Kahn in Outworld. The realm makes peace. Until, inevitably, a more powerful enemy comes along... ...and finds Earthrealm backed by Kung Lao, Immortal Lord of Time and Warrior Supreme. Beat that, Liu Kang.
*'''Liu Kang''': What does it mean to wield the Sands of Time? To be the Chosen One? It means making choices that break your heart. For the protection of all, I shared Kronika's power with the people I trust and loved most. Together we replace the Elder Gods that Cetrion had betrayed... and became eternal guardians of the realms. Still... My heart longs for a simple life. The kind one cannot have being the Chosen One, let alone an Elder God. What Kitana and I would not give for those simple pleasures. Perhaps in another timeline, they could be ours.
*'''Mileena''': With the Hourglass won, my thoughts turned toward my sister. I was born from her flesh. We shared the same blood. I wanted us to be family... But she wanted me dead. I was not her twin, I was a monstrosity! How horrified she would be, to know that I've used Kronika's power to take her place. Under my parents' adoring gaze, I rule the realms as Kahnum of Time. My sister's friends, her lover? They cherish me. Kitana is forgotten, her name buried in the sands of history. Yet even I can't reign forever. Like all queens, I need an heir. Someone to carry on in my name, and see my will done across the eons. Unlike my sister, my daughter regards me with awe and wonder. To her I am no abomination, I am perfection.
*'''Nightwolf''': Before I was Nightwolf, I was a fool named Grey Cloud. Born into poverty, I resented my ancestors for giving up our future to colonizers... Kano offered a way out, promising riches if I stole the tribe's most sacred relics. I was sorely tempted, but then I realized that by saving myself, I'd be surrendering the last of my people's dignity. For the first time, I defended the Matoka's pride. Kano was unimpressed. But as I lay dying, the Great Spirit came to me. By rejecting Kano, I had proven worthy of an ancient honor. The mantle of Nightwolf... legendary defender of the Matoka. Now, as I inherit Kronika's mantle, the way before me is split. The Keeper of Time cannot also be my tribe's defender. Which path do i choose? Even here, at time's beginning, the Great Spirit's wisdom guides me. She calls me to restore history. The Matoka, I must leave to another. To the next Nightwolf. Like all our sacred relics, the Nightwolf mantle belongs to the tribe. Any Matokan, can prove worthy of its power. I enjoy imagining who will defend us next.
*'''Noob Saibot''': Kronika said I would lead the New Era's deadliest clan. But she made such promises to many. She could never keep them all. So I betrayed her, before she could betray me. When Kronika's sands fused with my shadows, my ambitions grew. Why be ruler of mortals, when I could rule destiny itself? Mortals resisted, but could not stop, my blanketing history in cold, endless night. All is dark. All are shadows. I have had many names. Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.
*'''Raiden''': Kronika had manipulated me. In timeline after timeline, she stoked my anger and fed my arrogance, turning me against Liu Kang. My nose rubbed in my own fallibility, I was humbled. How could I be worthy to accept the mantle as Keeper of Time? I thought to control time and destiny fairly, I must purge myself of all human emotion. Summoning the strongest magic, I burned away my fear and anger. All that remained was pure logic. But I learned quickly that the logical choice is often not the just choice. Unless tampered by compassion and heart, logic leads to decisions no better than those based on anger or fear. Now I am once more at time's beginning. But on this journey through history, I will infuse logic with love. In this timeline, I will finally achieve peace for the citizens of all realms.
*'''Rain''': Kronika was dead, the Hourglass taken, and Edenia's future mine to command. I had obtained all I had wanted. All except that which I had wanted most: to know the true story of my parentage. That I was a bastard, I knew. Born of an illicit affair between the Edenian god Argus, and a mortal woman, Amara. But what I didn't know, until the Hourglass showed me, was that I and my mother were both victims. She hadn't abandoned me. Thanks to my father's lies, she had thought me stillborn. I was stolen away and left to rot among peasants, while my mother died from grief. Argus hid his scandal and his shame by killing the one person who ever loved me. For that, he will die. As will his sons, Taven and Daegon. His beloved wife, Delia? She, I will let live. Let her heart break, as my mother's did, as she weeps over her children's corpses.
*'''Rambo''': I didn't ask for this war. But once it started, I had to finish it. Hands down, Kronika was the toughest enemy I ever faced. All my tactics, my training, meant nothing against a god like her. In the end, it was a battle of wills. It never occurred to me that for winning, I'd get her Hourglass. At first, I hoped to right every wrong in history. But then I figured out that doing it meant I'd have to decide the fates of billions. Picking who lives and who dies, for eternity? It was going to kill my soul. I'd end up no better than those old men who sent us off to war, not giving a shit about what would happen. And that's not the man I want to be. It's time to walk away, for good this time, leaving the pain and the ugliness behind. After all I've been through, I've earned a little peace.
*'''Robocop''': OCP built me to serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. So when I found Kano dealing arms to Old Detroit's gangs, I had one duty: Apprehend him. I never thought the chase would to take me to a different universe, let alone end in a fight with Kano's protector, Kronika. And when Kronika went down, something unexpected happened. Her power washed over me, sweeping away the limits my designers had put on my programming. For the first time, I saw the depth of OCP's corruption. It wasn't just a couple of greedy executives... ...it was the whole damned company. OCP is making a killing playing both sides, selling to cops and criminals. When I get home, I am bringing them to justice. It will not be fast or easy. OCP has too much cash, and too much firepower, for me to clean things up alone. It is good thing this'll be an &quot;inter-agency&quot; effort. Welcome to the future of law enforcement.
*'''Scorpion''': I made my Future Self a promise: that I would not stay mired in the past. But once I controlled the Hourglass, I could not keep that promise. I had to restore my family. Over and over I crafted the Sands of Time. Yet in every new timeline my family's tragedy repeated. I was powerless to change it. After eons, I learend the truth. Kronika was not alone. She was one of many Titans, each more powerful and ancient than the Elder Gods. It is they who conspire against us. Myself, my family. We are pawns in their game. Why? I do not know. But I will find out. And then, I will have vengeance.
*'''Shang Tsung''': Kronika's power overwhelmed me, such that I would have been driven mad... Had I not spent centuries mastering the dark powers beyond the grasp of ordinary mortals. Now I am the master of time and fate. But Kronika's fall proves that even Titans can be defeated. Though my power lets me roam infinite timelines and feast upon the souls of billions, I am vulnerable. To survive, I must return to the shadows, avoid confrontation, and work my will through the hands of others... More specifically, through the hands of my fellow Titans... These monstrous beings are plied easily by appealing their greed, vanity, and fear. Through them, every soul in eternity bends to my influence. In my New Era, morality will be exposed as the illusion it is. The cunning will prosper while the &quot;good&quot; suffer. This is the word of Shang Tsung. Have a nice day.
*'''Shao Kahn''': I conquered history like I conquered realms - merging billions of potential timelines into a singularity. The universe has been remade in my image and all is as it should be. The weak serve the strong. The strong compete for power, wealth, and my favor in Mortal Kombat. For centuries, the tournament's champion has gone undefeated. That champion... is me! Hail the Konqueror... Hail Shao Kahn!(''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'')
*'''Sheeva''': A lifetime of battle prepared me to conquer Kronika. But as the Keeper of Time, I must be a creator, not a conqueror. I thought of the many sons and daughters I've lost in battle through the years. Imagined a better destiny for my kin. A history where the Shokan build rather than destroy. The results were catastrophic. Comfort and ease extinguished the dragon's fire that once lit the heart of every Shokan. They became weak, corrupted fools. The timeline had to start again. War, for all its tragedies, is the forge of Shokan will. My people will fight. Many will die. But I will lead us to victory. And in the aftermath, the dragon's fire will blaze in Shokan hearts for eternity.
*'''Sindel''': In the beginning... Shao Kahn invaded Edenia, murdered my husband, Jerrod, and forced me to be his bride. That's the story, but it's a lie. One I told, lest I lose the faith of my subjects, or of my daughter, Kitana. The truth? Jerrod was weak. Destined to fail. By betraying him, I gained a better lover and the ultimate weapon... A conqueror to unite all realms and put them at my beck and call. Then Kronika upended history, and I found myself confronting a future in which I'd been dead for centuries. My so-called family had failed me in every way. Kitana broke my heart worst. Instead of uniting the realms, she sought to liberate them. As if the Wastelands' savages could ever be more than serfs! Ever the caring mother, I had to discipline my little princess. And after that, I had to discipline a Titan... Now I have defeated Kronika. Outgrown Shao Kahn and Kitana. I have no more family. No more rivals. No more gods. I sit above them all, on a throne that unites all realms... and all realities. Whoever you are, wherever you are, when you are before me, kneel. For I am Sindel, Empress of Time, and you exist only to serve me... 
*'''Skarlet''': All of his daughters, Shao Kahn made me deadliest. He pulled me from the gutter. Bound me to the Blood Code. Made me fight for recognition. Perhaps he will commend me...when I bind the Blood Code to the Sands of Time. Now a Blood God, I demand more than Shao Kahn's recognition. I demand worship. I'll have temples, ministers, acolytes, prayers...And sacrifices. Rivers of blood, shed in my name, purging heretics who dare reject me. (''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'') How proud Shao Kahn is now. How proud...and obedient. For the only thing better than my Master's recognition, is to make him beg for mine. All will worship me...or there will be blood.
*'''Sonya Blade''': None of us saw Kronika coming. Not even Raiden. But with the Hourglass, I can see every terror in the realms. Any sane person would run screaming at the sight of them. It's my duty to take out these ancient, all-powerful beings. But to do that, I need an elite squad of immortal gods. Turns out to make a new god, you've gotta destroy an old one. So I hunt the oldest I can find, an omni-deity from a forgotten, unpronounceably-named realm. It's the fight of my life. But I've got something this god doesn't: family. In my past, these were the people who mattered most. Now, they're my God Squad. My daughter. My brother-in-arms. My god-daughter. Yep. Even Johnny. But only because Cassie insisted. And maybe I missed him a little. Just don't let him know that.
*'''Spawn''': I'd snuffed out every devil in Hell... ...until Netherrealm invaders showed up to piss me off. It would've cost a lot of power, fighting them alone. But they were being hunted by my new friends. Call them Fire and Ice. They argue. CONSTANTLY. Which is why I usually like to roll solo. But when it comes to killing demonic assholes, these guys don't flinch. I can get along with that. The Grandmasters tipped me off to Kronika. Said she was resurrecting some Netherrealm god named Shinnok. But that's not happening on my watch. Kronika's just much a devil as Malebolgia. Both make promises. Both tell lies. Both underestimate me. That's why I'll make a new hell for them, where they can burn together... ...for eternity. [brief, creepy, satisfied laughter] The Netherrealm's locked down, but there's still eight Hells left to purge. It's time to bring up the reserves. I made choices in my life that sealed my fate. I'm beyond redemption. But even the damned are capable of doing some good. So all you Devils out there, making false promises and spewing lies? We're coming -- and you don't have a chance in Hell.
*'''Sub-Zero''': Once I gained the Hourglass, my first thought was to re-write history and redeem the Lin Kuei's honor. But then I thought of Bi-Han, his life consumed by evil. Before I could redeem my clan, I had to redeem my brother. With the Hourglass, I wound back in time to our childhood. I studied every second of Bi-Han's life to understand why... Why he embraced Sektor's corruption. Why he reveled in the vile power given to him by Quan Chi. Armed with that knowledge, I re-sculpted the Sands of Time. I changed Bi-Han's life and unfroze his heart. Now we are comrades, not rivals. Together as joint Grandmasters, we lead the Lin Kuei in defense of Earthrealm.
*'''The Terminator''': ''(Narrated by Cassie Cage)'' It was an epic accident that brought the Terminator here, rather than to his own Earth's past. But it didn't take long for him to adapt. He figured that terminating Kronika, and taking her Hourglass, gave him the best chance at achieving his mission objective. Destroying humanity so that the machines prevail. Turns out the Hourglass wasn't the ultimate weapon. No matter how many times the Terminator re-booted history, the war between humans and the machines always ended the same. With their mutual destruction. He realized this war was a losing game. The only way to win, was not to play. So the Terminator used the Hourglass to build a future where machines and humans don't fight, they cooperate. The Terminator knew that to preserve this future, no one else could learn about the Hourglass. The information stored in his machine mind was dangerous. It had to be eliminated. That's why the Terminator threw himself into the infinite depths of the Sea of Blood. No one would ever find him, or unlock the Hourglass' secrets. If you could ask him about it, he'd tell you he made the only logical choice. But in my book, that machine's a hero.
&lt;br /&gt;

== Pre-Battle Dialogue ==
* '''Cassie Cage''': Hey there [[Frozen (2013 film)|Elsa]], what's up? '''Frost''': Ugh! Why does everyone call me that? '''Cassie Cage''': Oh honey, let me help you.
* '''Erron Black''': Goddamn, your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  '''Noob Saibot''': It will be the last thing you hear.  '''Erron Black''': Aw, hell no.
* '''Kollector''': What rare technology. '''Frost''': A gift from divine hands. '''Kollector''': It belongs in mine.
* '''Geras''': Prove your greatness. '''Kung Lao''': I do not have anything to prove. '''Geras''': The refrain of failures throughout history.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I say it, just once?  '''Scorpion''': Only if you wish to suffer.  '''Cassie Cage''': (imitating Scorpion) GET OVER HERE!
* '''Cassie Cage''': Grandmaster Hasashi. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I ask for a favor? '''Sub-Zero''': You may battle for one. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's cookin', Good Lookin'? '''Cassie Cage''': Ewww, No. Seriously?! '''Johnny Cage''': Wait, what?! Not what I meant!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will join my concubines. '''Cassie Cage''': One -- eww, two -- piss off! '''Shao Kahn''': I like females with fire.
* '''Baraka''': Nay aka ratakka tahar kombat. '''Kung Lao''': All I understood from that was 'kombat'. '''Baraka''': Then you understand enough.
* '''Baraka''': It is a battle of blades. '''Kung Lao''': My hat's blade has greater range. '''Baraka''': But you only have one.
* '''Frost''': I deserve your respect. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch./You haven't earned any, Frost. '''Frost''': Wrong answer, Blade.
* '''Kano''': So, we in bizzo eh, D'Vorah? '''D'Vorah''': You are a means to This One's ends. '''Kano''': We'll get along just fine.
* '''Frost''': The past is in the past.  '''Frost (other player)''': Then let your storm rage on!  '''Frost''': Time to test my limits and break through!
* '''Erron Black''': That's some outfit. '''Sub-Zero''': It honors Lin Kuei tradition. '''Erron Black''': Time to let the past die.
* '''Kabal''': I'm as fast as [[Grease (film)|greased lightning]]. '''Erron Black''': Look at you, speaking Texan. '''Kabal''': Figured I'd use words you'd understand.
* '''Erron Black''': Last chance to walk away. '''Jax''': No chance, scumbag. '''Erron Black''': I pull, and I'm putting you down.
* '''Jade''': In the future you're dead, I'm a Revenant. '''Baraka''': I prefer my fate to yours. '''Jade''': I must agree, Baraka.
* '''Scorpion''': You rejected Kronika's offer. '''Kung Lao''': I will succeed on my own merits. '''Scorpion''': For once, your pride was useful. 
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's that, Skarlet? '''Skarlet''': [[Gone with the Wind (film)|The Gods as my witness, I'll never go thirsty again.]] '''Johnny Cage''': {{W|Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn}}.
* '''Frost''': Are you my future self? '''Frost (other player)''': I am your replacement. '''Frost''': Kronika has betrayed me!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Who are you, ghost?  '''Noob Saibot (other player)''': [[Harry Potter|He who shall not be named.]]  '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your [[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|deathly hollow]].
* '''Kollector''': Have you seen Ferra-Torr? '''D'Vorah''': Only their corpses, Kollector. '''Kollector''': Shao Kahn will not be pleased.
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not impede This One, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I will protect Shao Kahn. '''D'Vorah''': How will death profit you?
* '''Liu Kang''': There is still honor in you, Frost. '''Frost''': I don't need you to tell me. '''Liu Kang''': Then why do you display none?
* '''Jade''': Kronika's minion. '''Frost''': Better than being Kotal's kept woman. '''Jade''': At least my body remains my own.
* '''Jade''': Sub-Zero's former student. '''Frost''': I exceed him in every way. '''Jade''': In your mind, perhaps.
* '''D'Vorah''': Such bile you spew at me, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Even Mileena was less a cretin. '''D'Vorah''': This One will not be judged.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Sub-Zero was wise to dismiss you. '''Frost''': What do you know about it, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': That bad soil yields no bounty.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': I despise you as I did Mileena. '''Frost''': You have problems with strong women? '''Kotal Kahn''': Those who seek stations above their faculty.
* '''Jacqui''': Women warriors should stick together. '''Kitana''': Realm before gender, Jacqueline Briggs. '''Jacqui''': If that's how you want to play it, fine.
* '''Kitana''': I was once young, like you. '''Jacqui''': Just how old are you, Kitana? '''Kitana''': Such an impolite question, Jacqueline.
* '''Frost''': How is it, being born to loyalty? '''Kitana''': I can't say, I've known nothing else. '''Frost''': Let me enlighten you.
* '''Jade''': So, Kitana. Liu Kang? '''Kitana''': Jade, he's just a friend. '''Jade''': I see how you look at him.
* '''Kitana''': One thing keeps you from greatness. '''Kung Lao''': Let me guess, pride? '''Kitana''': A flaw you and Johnny Cage share.
* '''Kitana''': So you were to defeat Shinnok? '''Johnny Cage''': What is with people? Is it so hard to believe? '''Kitana''': Yes.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We need a girl talk, Kitana. '''Kitana''': We are women, not girls, Cassandra. '''Cassie Cage''': Missing the point entirely.
* '''Kitana''': What does your tribe desire? '''Baraka''': To savor the blood of its enemies. '''Kitana''': Charming as always, Baraka.
* '''Kitana''': Would you welcome death, Geras? '''Geras''': Once my service to Kronika is finished. '''Kitana''': Then you don't have long to wait.
* '''Kitana''': You soil every room you enter. '''Kano''': Bloke's gotta mark his territory. '''Kitana''': Even Baraka's more civilized.
* '''Scorpion''': Shao Kahn escaped your vengeance. '''Kitana''': Something I regret deeply. '''Scorpion''': Next time, forget mercy.
* '''Kitana''': The thought of you with my mother. '''Shao Kahn''': She always pleased me, Kitana. '''Kitana''': I will flay the smile off your face.
* '''Kitana''': Why do you shield my Revenant? '''Cetrion''': There is no virtue in vengeance. '''Kitana''': Not vengeance, euthanasia.
* '''Kitana''': Now what, Earthrealmer? '''Johnny Cage''': Johnny Cage. Is. 'The Edenian Candidate'. '''Kitana''': By the Gods, no.
* '''Johnny Cage''': My green magic, your green outfit. '''Jade''': (laughs) By the gods, no. '''Johnny Cage''': Your loss, sweetheart.
* '''Jax''': Here comes the ruckus. '''Frost''': I have the technological advantage. '''Jax''': Maybe, but you've got no soul.
* '''Frost''': We are siblings in cryomancy. '''Noob Saibot''': The dead are my only kin. '''Frost''': You disgrace us all.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no family? '''Skarlet''': Yes, I am an orphan, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Then who will mourn you?
* '''Jacqui''': You're always getting me in trouble. '''Cassie Cage''': You love trouble and you know it. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do, sister.
* '''Kabal''': Just how cold are you? '''Frost''': Chilled to the core. '''Kabal''': That is super hot.
* '''Jax''': [[W:Mortal Kombat (2011 video game)|Man, Scorpion toasted you.]] '''Noob Saibot''': Ermac ripped off your arms. '''Jax''': But I survived, you didn't.
* '''Jacqui''': So you're basically Lady Sub-Zero. '''Frost''': Our differences are deeper than gender. '''Jacqui''': Is there a wiki or something?
* '''Cetrion''': Is there room for love in your heart? '''Sub-Zero''': Love gets in the way. '''Cetrion''': Love leads the way, Kuai Liang.
* '''Frost''': Mine is a cold, cold world. '''Jacqui''': You'll be hotter when you die, Frost. '''Frost''': Think you can send me to the Netherrealm?
* '''Scorpion''': Still hoping to kill me? '''Frost''': All Shirai Ryu must die. '''Scorpion''': My fire will melt you, Frost.
* '''Kung Lao''': Smile and the realms smile with you. '''Baraka''': I'll smile when you swing from a meat hook. '''Kung Lao''': Not going to happen, Baraka.
* '''D'Vorah''': Jerrod was soft and weak-willed. '''Kitana''': You claim to know father? '''D'Vorah''': This One killed him for Shao Kahn.
* '''Kitana''': I was right, doubting the Elder Gods. '''Cetrion''': [[Star Wars (film)|Your lack of faith disturbs me]]. '''Kitana''': As does your obedience to Kronika.
* '''Kitana''': I've never liked guns. '''Erron Black''': Aww, they make you nervous, Princess? '''Kitana''': They are highly uncivilized.
* '''Baraka''': All of Tarkata reveres Jade. '''Kotal Kahn''': An honor richly deserved. '''Baraka''': You, on the other hand.
* '''Baraka''': Daughter of Earthrealm. '''Jacqui''': And proud of it, Buckteeth. '''Baraka''': These teeth will rend your flesh.
* '''Baraka''': What happened to your eye? '''Kano''': Special Forces bastard took it. '''Baraka''': I'll take the other one.
* '''Baraka''': We meet again. '''Sub-Zero''': It's a long way from the tournament. '''Baraka''': We can still fight. 
* '''Baraka''': Speak your joke to my face. '''Jacqui''': Grandmother, what big teeth you have! '''Baraka''': My Grandmother's were the biggest!
* '''Baraka''': Heir to the Great Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': The family legend precedes me. '''Baraka''': It ends with your death.
* '''Baraka''': I hate cold things. '''Frost''': I am no 'thing', beast. '''Baraka''': You are meat, Frost.
* '''Baraka''': You'll be a good practice dummy. '''Frost''': I am the future of pain, Baraka! '''Baraka''': More like future of scrap metal.
* '''D'Vorah''': A cold snack for the Swarm. '''Frost''': This frost bites back. '''D'Vorah''': Not with your jaw slacked from poison.
* '''Frost''': You should have been Grandmaster. '''Noob Saibot''': I would not allow female Lin Kuei. '''Frost''': You're worse than Kuai Liang!
* '''Kung Lao''': Double date with Liu Kang and Kitana? '''Jade''': In your dreams, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A simple 'no' would have sufficed.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You know nothing of cold. '''Frost''': You never conjured ice as cold as mine. '''Noob Saibot''': Death is the coldest ice.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You are a sinful monk. '''Kung Lao''': I'm no Liu Kang, but I'm hardly sinful. '''Noob Saibot''': Death will purge your pride.
* '''Noob Saibot''': One clan will rule the New Era. '''Frost''': That clan will be mine, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang would be a better Grandmaster.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang was a fool to trust you. '''Frost''': A fool to doubt me, like you. '''Noob Saibot''': I do not doubt your hubris.
* '''Frost''': [[Man on Fire (2004 film)|Revenge is]] [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|a dish best served cold]]. '''Cassie Cage''': Page five, Cliché Villains Handbook? '''Frost''': Snark won't save you, Cage.
* '''Frost''': Once cyberized, you will serve. '''Erron Black''': Serve? Or service? '''Frost''': Ugh, never mind.
* '''Kano''': Better get right with Kronika. '''Baraka''': (Fuck) you and Kronika! '''Kano''': Now that's a bonzer attitude.
* '''Liu Kang''': You learned nothing at the Wu Shi. '''Kung Lao''': I learned I'm better than the best. '''Liu Kang''': Have you been drinking with Bo 'Rai Cho?
* '''Liu Kang''': Master Li Bing saw your potential. '''Kung Lao''': Is that why he made life Hell? '''Liu Kang''': That was because you are lazy.
* '''Scorpion''': Beware your bond with Liu Kang. '''Kitana''': Relationship advice, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': Losing him will burn your soul.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Minus three degrees Celsius. '''Skarlet''': What is that? '''Sub-Zero''': The freezing point for blood.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you kill my family? '''Sub-Zero''': No, Quan Chi did. '''Scorpion''': But I saw a vision of YOU.
* '''Shang Tsung''': You are neither god nor Kahn. '''Kotal Kahn''': Then what am I, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': My next victim.
* '''Raiden''': You proved a poor student. '''Frost''': Sub-Zero had nothing to teach me. '''Raiden''': Your ignorance is stunning, Frost.
* '''Cetrion''': Do not betray Kronika. '''D'Vorah''': This One is her most dutiful servant. '''Cetrion''': As you were Mileena's?
* '''Cetrion''': Your poor, withering soul. '''Frost''': I have never been stronger, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': Of body, not of virtue.
* '''Cetrion''': What has Mother done this time? '''Cetrion (other player)''': Corrected a flawed first draft. '''Cetrion''': We are all flawed. I accept it.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Why should I pray to you? '''Cetrion''': Why does a bird flap its wings? '''Sub-Zero''': I asked a simple question.
* '''Sonya Blade''': In the future we carry tiny TVs with us? '''Cassie Cage''': Welcome to the Digital Age. '''Sonya Blade''': More like the Distracted Age.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Once upon a time I beat Shinnok. '''Shang Tsung''': My, you have a colorful imagination. '''Johnny Cage''': Look it up. I laid him out!
* '''Skarlet''': I need your warm, red blood. '''Sub-Zero''': My blood runs cold. '''Skarlet''': How refreshing!
* '''Jax''': This a friendly fight, Sub-Zero? '''Sub-Zero''': I prefer to see your full strength. '''Jax''': Stone cold. I like that.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Those blades will snap. '''Baraka''': Those who try get impaled. '''Sub-Zero''': They were not me, Baraka.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What's our sparring record? '''Jacqui''': We're tied, five and five. '''Cassie Cage''': So this is match point.
* '''Jacqui''': What's this about a blood ceremony? '''Scorpion''': Marry Takeda, you marry the Shirai Ryu. '''Jacqui''': Do we get matching rope spears?
* '''Baraka''': Mileena's blood was Tarkatan. '''Kitana''': She was created to spite me. '''Baraka''': Shao Kahn improved on the original.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What up, Empress Princess? '''Kitana''': Are Earthrealmers not taught etiquette? '''Cassie Cage''': Just got no patience for imperial bullshit.
* '''Frost''': I'd cut a deal, but I know better. '''Kano''': My aren't you the full quid. '''Frost''': You have no idea.
* '''Jacqui''': I hear Sub-Zero's no fan. '''Frost''': He's never respected my power. '''Jacqui''': Chip, meet shoulder.
* '''Scorpion''': You plan to marry my chujin? '''Jacqui''': Takeda got smart and put a ring on it. '''Scorpion''': First, prove you are worthy.
* '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero's mistake with you is obvious. '''Frost''': Share your wisdom, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': To be trained, you must be tamed.
* '''Jacqui''': Jin told me about you. '''Kung Lao''': My nephew must adore me. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do.
* '''Geras''': You are an Old West enthusiast. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Geras''': In 1881, Wyatt Earp shot me.
* '''Kollector''': You killed my brother. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Kollector''': Today, I collect vengeance.
* '''Shang Tsung''': In seven days, I can make you a man. '''Geras''': A mortal man who can be killed? '''Shang Tsung''': I see you quiver with anticipation.
* '''Frost''': What do you see when you look at me? '''Jacqui''': A cheap, second-gen knockoff. '''Frost''': I said look at me, not you.
* '''Skarlet''': The hot-blooded Johnny Cage. '''Johnny Cage''': Got a fever burning inside of me. '''Skarlet''': The only cure is killing you.
* '''Skarlet''': People do not appreciate us. '''Frost''': Are you suggesting we band together? '''Skarlet''': That I prove my worth by killing you.
* '''Jacqui''': That hat's old school. '''Kung Lao''': Never mess with a classic. '''Jacqui''': 'Classic' is a nice word for 'busted'.
* '''Erron Black''': Looking mighty fine, Miss Briggs. '''Jacqui''': Cut the cowboy shtick, not interested. '''Erron Black''': Straight to business. I like it.
* '''Frost''': You're smaller in person, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': And you're an even bigger brat. '''Frost''': Touched a nerve, didn't I?
* '''Shang Tsung''': I have a dress your size, you should wear it. '''Sonya Blade''': Are you out of your damn mind? '''Shang Tsung''': It was sewn by the finest designers in Outworld.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Such beauty in kombat is rare. '''Jacqui''': I'll turn you fifty shades of black and blue. '''Shang Tsung''': Rarer still for it to survive.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Your thoughts turn to Takahashi Takeda. '''Jacqui''': You stay the hell away from him. '''Shang Tsung''': Your soul will be mine, and then his.
* '''Scorpion''': I beheaded Quan Chi. '''Shang Tsung''': Thank you for sparing me the trouble. '''Scorpion''': You're next, Shang Tsung.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We've both got chips on our shoulders. '''Kung Lao''': I can knock yours off at ten meters. '''Cassie Cage''': I'll bet two to one you can't.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Allow me to introduce myself. '''Cassie Cage''': Cut the bullshit, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': Direct, just like your mother.
* '''Jax''': You are one ugly sonofabitch. '''Baraka''': Silence, Earthrealmer! '''Jax''': Those dulcet tones aren't much better.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a Revenant once more. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Sub-Zero''': Allow me to cool your anger.
* '''Kitana''': I am the last Edenian royal. '''Cassie Cage''': Maybe try democracy, Princess? '''Kitana''': You do not understand Outworld.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Vera's soul calls for you. '''Jacqui''': Keep Mama's name out of your mouth, Revenant. '''Noob Saibot''': Revenant? I am Wraith!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your mother's arms. '''Jacqui''': She's dead, asshole. '''Noob Saibot''': And her soul is mine.
* '''Jacqui''': Fought your Revenant a time or two. '''Jade''': And who was victorious, Jacqueline? '''Jacqui''': Me. Obviously.
* '''Geras''': For a cryomancer, you run hot. '''Frost''': My well of hate runs deep. '''Geras''': Deep enough for you to drown in it.
* '''Geras''': You cannot compete with me. '''Frost''': Competition is life, Geras. '''Geras''': It will be your death, Frost.
* '''Geras''': I have your father. '''Jacqui''': Give him back, you sonofabitch. '''Geras''': Comply, or you will both perish.
* '''Geras''': You cannot beat death as I can. '''Sub-Zero''': I have been resurrected before. '''Geras''': But not a thousand times.
* '''Geras''': You remind me of someone. '''Cassie Cage''': Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Helen of Troy? '''Geras''': Joan of Arc, the young martyr.
* '''Geras''': The Swarm dies today. '''D'Vorah''': Kronika still needs This One, you cog. '''Geras''': Your service is no longer required.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Sektor was a better Grandmaster. '''Sub-Zero''': He led through lies and fear. '''Shao Kahn''': They are the pillars of order.
* '''Shao Kahn''': It's too late to curry my favor. '''Baraka''': I want your head, not your favor. '''Shao Kahn''': You will have neither, Baraka.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You survived the Flesh Pits. '''Kotal Kahn''': Despite Shang Tsung's efforts, yes. '''Shao Kahn''': Yet again, he failed me.
* '''Baraka''': Tarkata demands respect, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': You'll get the back of my hand. '''Baraka''': We are done fearing you.
* '''Shao Kahn''': For twenty-five years, you've remained loyal. '''Kollector''': You are the one, true Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': {{W|Make America Great Again|Let us make Outworld great again}}.
* '''Baraka''': I despise ghosts. '''Noob Saibot''': Superstitious Tarkatan. '''Baraka''': Return to the Ten Hells!
* '''Baraka''': What shaman summoned you? '''Noob Saibot''': The dark one, Quan Chi. '''Baraka''': Be gone, demon.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Shadows do not bleed. '''Baraka''': You do and I smell it. '''Noob Saibot''': Wishful thinking, Baraka.
* '''Noob Saibot''': No true Lin Kuei could stomach you. '''Scorpion''': Does that include your brother? '''Noob Saibot''': What brother?
* '''Kollector''': We both collect, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': What is gold compared to souls? '''Kollector''': Gold buys people like you.
* '''D'Vorah''': What was it you said last time? '''Cassie Cage''': You're the bug, I'm the windshield. '''D'Vorah''': This One breaks windshields.
* '''Frost''': You are sub-human. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn surpass humans in every way. '''Frost''': Not me, D'Vorah.
* '''Kitana''': I vow to aid all Outworlders. '''D'Vorah''': Yet you disavow the Kytinn. '''Kitana''': Only you, D'Vorah.
* '''D'Vorah''': Where is your intended? '''Jacqui''': If I call, Takeda will come running. '''D'Vorah''': I suggest you do, Jacqueline Briggs.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You'll pay for Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': This One did Outworld a service. '''Shao Kahn''': And so shall I.
* '''Baraka''': There's soon to be a stabbing. '''D'Vorah''': And you will be the victim, Baraka. '''Baraka''': Shut up and die, bug!
* '''Jax''': So what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Nomadic peoples don't achieve greatness. '''Baraka''': We will never give up the old ways. '''Sub-Zero''': Then Tarkata is doomed to failure.
* '''Jax''': Gods, monsters? This shit's crazy. '''Kitana''': That's how I felt in Manhattan. '''Jax''': New York? Also crazy.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You really like Future Johnny better. '''Jacqui''': Name one person who doesn't. '''Johnny Cage''': Me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': So I was a good dad to Cass? '''Jacqui''': Once you finished all twelve steps. '''Johnny Cage''': Whoa! Hold the phone. Rehab?
* '''Shang Tsung''': Sonya's not here to save you, Jax. '''Jax''': She'll be sad she missed this smackdown. '''Shang Tsung''': She can grieve the death of her commander.
* '''Kung Lao''': Mine is the legacy of the Great Kung Lao. '''Cetrion''': His legacy was dying in defeat. '''Kung Lao''': He lives on in me, Cetrion.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''Jax''': Don't you be creeping on Jacqui. '''Shang Tsung''': I'll teach her what you never could.
* '''Erron Black''': Any chance we settle this peaceably? '''The Terminator''': No. '''Erron Black''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Hasta la vista]], [[W:hasta la vista, baby|baby.]]
* '''D'Vorah''': You threaten the Kytinn's survival. '''The Terminator''': Correct. '''D'Vorah''': Such intransigence will be your death.
* '''Sub-Zero''': The Lin Kuei will banish you. '''The Terminator''': Your clan cannot terminate me. '''Sub-Zero''': Wishful thinking, machine.
* '''D'Vorah''': Skynet and the Kytinn can coexist. '''The Terminator''': Insectoids are a greater threat than humans. '''D'Vorah''': Clever boy.
* '''Geras''': You cannot answer [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|the riddle of steel]]. '''The Terminator''': That information is not within my files. '''Geras''': Then be cast out from these realms.
* '''The Terminator''': Your mask. What's its purpose? '''Kabal''': Take it from me and I'll tell you. '''The Terminator''': All right.
* '''The Terminator''': Termination is inevitable. '''Raiden''': Only a fool is so confident of victory. '''The Terminator''': I only state facts.
* '''The Terminator''': Johnny Cage gave you a codename. '''Jade''': And just what did his lewd mind come up with? '''The Terminator''': [[True Lies|Doris]].
* '''Skarlet''': Your skin is living tissue? '''The Terminator''': Covering a metal endoskeleton. '''Skarlet''': As long as it bleeds.
* '''Kabal''': Are you sure about that? '''The Terminator''': Yes. Show me your speed. '''Kabal''': Alright then, [[w:Jingle All The Way|it's turbo time]].
* '''Scorpion''': My hellfire will incinerate your flesh. '''The Terminator''': I will not cease functioning. '''Scorpion''': It will also melt your endoskeleton.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will serve me, cyborg. '''The Terminator''': What is your mission? '''Shao Kahn''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|To crush my enemies and see them driven before me]].
* '''Geras''': We are both constructs, built to serve. '''The Terminator''': You are also a Terminator? '''Geras''': When my creator requires it.
* '''Sonya Blade''': I hear you're an automated killing machine. '''The Terminator''': Cyberdyne Systems. Model 101. '''Sonya Blade''': At least you're not a damned cyber ninja.
* '''Scorpion''': You are one of Sektor's creations. '''The Terminator''': No. Skynet built me. '''Scorpion''': Either way, you must die.
* '''Erron Black''': Now this will be a gun battle. '''The Terminator''': One that you can't win. '''Erron Black''': Big, but dumb as dirt.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a threat to Skynet. '''Erron Black''': I don't even know what the hell that is. '''The Terminator''': You will.
* '''The Terminator''': You'll take me to Sarah Connor? '''Johnny Cage''': Think of me as your [[Total Recall (1990 film)|Johnny cab]]. '''The Terminator''': [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|You lie]].
* '''Kung Lao''': You have met your match. '''The Terminator''': That statement is unsupported. '''Kung Lao''': Who knew machines could fool themselves?
* '''Jade''': Cyborgs do not scare me. '''The Terminator''': Why not? '''Jade''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|It's heart, not steel, which strengthens us]].
* '''Noob Saibot''': I could make you the perfect killer. '''The Terminator''': By improving my programming? '''Noob Saibot''': By teaching you to embrace darkness.
* '''Frost''': You'll help me fight the Lin Kuei? '''The Terminator''': Who is Lynne Quay? '''Frost''': Stupid machine.
* '''The Terminator''': Cosmetic damage will not stop me. '''Kabal''': So slicing your skin off is no biggie? '''The Terminator''': None.
* '''Raiden''': Your machine ancestors do not exist in this realm. '''The Terminator''': Then I have come to the incorrect past. '''Raiden''': You will bring no death or destruction here.
* '''Baraka''': You've never fought a Tarkatan. '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|If you bleed, I can kill you]]. '''Baraka''': Ha Ha! A delusional machine.
* '''Sonya Blade''': So you took off Quan Chi's head? '''Scorpion''': Yes, my future self did. '''Sonya Blade''': Lucky bastard.
* '''Baraka''': What did Cage teach you to call me? '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|An ugly motherfucker]]. '''Baraka''': I will eat him alive!
* '''The Terminator''': Your observation is incorrect. '''Jacqui''': You sure? That neck's pretty thick. '''The Terminator''': [[Kindergarten Cop|It is not a tumor]].
* '''Jacqui''': Is it true [[The Running Man (1987 film)|Sub-Zero's now 'plain zero']]? '''The Terminator''': My mission objective is complete. '''Jacqui''': Damn.
* '''D'Vorah''': Why does Shao Kahn value you? '''Sindel''': Why do you ask, creature? '''D'Vorah''': Because all others despise you.
* '''Sindel''': You betrayed Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Why care for that disgusting clone? '''Sindel''': She was as much my daughter as Kitana.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Your Empire picked the wrong fight. '''Sindel''': Nothing on Earthrealm can stop us. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sindel''': Pledge the Lin Kuei to me. '''Sub-Zero''': And stain my clan with dishonor? '''Sindel''': Comply or I'll help Frost depose you.
* '''Scorpion''': You are too dangerous to let live. '''Sindel''': People say much the same of you. '''Scorpion''': I could never betray my family.
* '''Shang Tsung''': We never could trust Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': For all I know, you helped him murder me. '''Shang Tsung''': When I kill people, they stay dead.
* '''Skarlet''': You hold the power of Edenia. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn wouldn't marry a weakling. '''Skarlet''': I'll bleed your power and make him mine!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your destiny is to serve the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': I would never submit to Quan Chi. '''Noob Saibot''': That is why he murdered you.
* '''Kung Lao''': What is so scary about you, besides the hair? '''Sindel''': Come closer and I'll show you. '''Kung Lao''': No time for love, crazy lady.
* '''Cetrion''': Your destiny is to balance the realms. '''Sindel''': And how will I accomplish that? '''Cetrion''': By dying.
* '''Frost''': I can train you in the assassin's art. '''Sindel''': Dear, I'm several millennia your senior. '''Frost''': Which hasn't made you wiser.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Ding, dong. The bitch is back. '''Sindel''': Who is this insufferable child? '''Cassie Cage''': Cassie the Shinnok Slayer.
* '''Raiden''': Kronika favors the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn and I will rule an eternal empire. '''Raiden''': As the minion of her son, Shinnok.
* '''Jacqui''': What do you expect from me? '''Sindel''': Flattery, service, worship. '''Jacqui''': And I thought Cass was a diva.
* '''Kano''': Well, well, I never knew. '''Sindel''': Knew what, you ugly rusting half-man? '''Kano''': Shao Kahn married such a wicked witch.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Johnny's mine, Sindel. '''Sindel''': The poor man must have no standards. '''Sonya Blade''': You could use a nip and tuck yourself, sister.
* '''Jax''': Fighting ladies? Not my thing. '''Sindel''': There are other ways to be physical. '''Jax''': Woman, I'm an officer, not some gigolo!
* '''Kabal''': Hate to bust up Shao Kahn's woman. '''Sindel''': I can break you with a scream. '''Kabal''': I'll break your sound barrier first.
* '''Sindel''': Those hook swords look like fun. '''Kabal''': The hell kinda fun you talkin' about? '''Sindel''': Dissecting Earthrealmers, of course.
* '''Sindel''': Submission is your only choice. '''Jax''': And if I don't bend a knee? '''Sindel''': My boot-heel goes through your neck.
* '''Sindel''': Once more we fight, Nightwolf. '''Nightwolf''': It ends the same, Sindel. '''Sindel''': For you, perhaps.
* '''Sindel''': Is Johnny Cage a competent lover? '''Sonya Blade''': That's none of your goddamned business. '''Sindel''': Perhaps he'll serve as my consort.
* '''Sindel''': Impudent girls get bloody bottoms. '''Cassie Cage''': Do not wanna know what you're talking about. '''Sindel''': You'll be spanked until you bleed.
* '''Sindel''': I asked to fight the greatest warrior. '''Kung Lao''': And he has appeared before you. '''Sindel''': Hm. At least you have spunk.
* '''Sindel''': Come back to your family. '''Kitana''': I'm not your 'daughter' any more. '''Sindel''': Don't deny your heritage, daughter!
* '''Sindel''': Beg for my forgiveness, traitor. '''Jade''': You no longer hold sway, Sindel. '''Sindel''': Once the Empress, always the Empress.
* '''Sindel''': You stole from the throne, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I was owed deferred compensation. '''Sindel''': Never trust a Naknadan.
* '''Sindel''': I will give you what Kronika refuses. '''Geras''': What could that possibly be? '''Sindel''': Death's sweet embrace.
* '''Sindel''': Come to me, you handsome commoner. '''Johnny Cage''': You wanna carve my face on a mountain? '''Sindel''': More like carve it to pieces.
* '''Sindel''': Submit and I'll spare your father. '''Jacqui''': Your hair grows like Pinocchio's nose when you lie? '''Sindel''': It grows whenever I kill someone.
* '''Sindel''': I laugh at you, Elder God. '''Cetrion''': I will balance Outworld. '''Sindel''': Not on my back, Cetrion.
* '''Sindel''': Trusting Kronika is foolish. '''Frost''': Not after enhancements like mine. '''Sindel''': I'll reduce them to scrap.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One can protect you from Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': You'll betray me to him, bug. '''D'Vorah''': Kotal was more easily deceived.
* '''Sindel''': You're like the daughter I never had. '''Frost''': And you're like the mother I killed. '''Sindel''': An attribute she and I won't share.
* '''Jacqui''': My name is Jacqueline Briggs. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I killed your father. '''Jacqui''': [[The Princess Bride (film)|Prepare to die.]]
* '''Sindel''': What have you seen of my history? '''Geras''': Betrayal, cruelty, corruption. '''Sindel''': A survivor's legacy, Geras.
* '''Sindel''': Earthrealmer! You will die. '''Erron Black''': Damn! That voice is sexy. '''Sindel''': Want me to scream for you?
* '''Sindel''': You are an orphaned bastard. '''Liu Kang''': Thank you for reminding me. '''Sindel''': Be gone from my presence!
* '''Sindel''': Go back to your realm, machine! '''The Terminator''': I have no way to return. '''Sindel''': Then you will die here.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Tell me something only Sindel would know. '''Sindel''': Quan Chi murdered me, right under your nose! '''Shao Kahn''': You lie, impostor.
* '''Sindel''': Quan Chi deceived you, you pathetic fool! '''Shao Kahn''': Impossible! Shao Kahn is no one's fool! '''Sindel''': You sad, embarrassing wreck of a man.
* '''Sindel''': You cannot take my throne! '''Sindel (other player)''': Your throne, your husband, everything! '''Sindel''': You'll have none of it, pretender!
* '''Sindel''': Have you ever been dominated? '''Raiden''': Are you offering, Sindel? '''Sindel''': Submit. You may enjoy it.
* '''Raiden''': So now you defend Earthrealm? '''Scorpion''': I have made a solemn vow. '''Raiden''': You will be held to it, Scorpion.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Grandma Carlton told you my secret? '''Cassie Cage''': &quot;Johnny Pee-Pants&quot;? '''Johnny Cage''': I had one accident. One!
* '''Jax''': So, what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Master Boyd sends his regards. '''Johnny Cage''': You killed him, didn't you? '''Shang Tsung''': Your 'sensei' was helpless against me.
* '''Kabal''': Stealing my soul won't make you faster. '''Shang Tsung''': Actually, that is precisely how it works. '''Kabal''': Eh, shit.
* '''The Terminator''': I have no files on you. '''Joker''': No one does. That's the beauty of it! '''The Terminator''': Unknowns must be terminated.
* '''Joker''': You sonnuvabitch, you stole my face! '''Shang Tsung''': I could steal a lot more, Clown. '''Joker''': Never rub another man's rhubarb.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Why have you returned, Joker? '''Joker''': My fan boys were begging for a sequel. '''Shang Tsung''': Too bad your story ends here.
* '''Joker''': Outworld needs a Clown Prince. '''Shao Kahn''': Your entrails will feed my war dogs. '''Joker''': See, I'd fit right in!
* '''Shao Kahn''': How will you survive this encounter? '''Joker''': No one lands a punchline better. '''Shao Kahn''': Entertain me, jester.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You have a death wish, fool? '''Joker''': I'm not known for making great life choices. '''Shao Kahn''': This one will be your last.
* '''Joker''': The bigger you are, the harder you'll fall. '''Shao Kahn''': The harder I'll punish, Joker. '''Joker''': Who said you could re-write me?!
* '''Joker''': Ooo! A new groupie. '''Frost''': I'm here to kill you, not kiss you. '''Joker''': You really are a fan!
* '''Frost''': Your next stop is a slab. '''Joker''': Why give me the cold shoulder? '''Frost''': You exist, Joker.
* '''Frost''': So you're the infamous Joker. '''Joker''': The man, the myth, the legend. '''Frost''': All three die today.
* '''Joker''': There's a gal I know you would love. '''Frost''': Is she a great cryomancer? '''Joker''': She's killer, Frost.
* '''Nightwolf''': You are far from home. '''Joker''': Is it that obvious I'm a tourist? '''Nightwolf''': And that you're a danger to all.
* '''Joker''': Manitou Raven, is that you? '''Nightwolf''': The name is Nightwolf. '''Joker''': Are you some kind of Apache chief?
* '''Nightwolf''': Your grin is unnerving. '''Joker''': That's the nicest thing I've ever been told. '''Nightwolf''': It's the last thing you'll ever hear.
* '''Joker''': I like face paint, you like war paint. '''Nightwolf''': What's your point, Joker? '''Joker''': That we could be super friends!
* '''Joker''': You're the biggest star here? '''Johnny Cage''': Or the brightest, baddest. You get the idea. '''Joker''': Let's try the 'deadest'.
* '''Joker''': Tell your producers I'll star in your next film. '''Johnny Cage''': A killer clown? Cliché city. '''Joker''': Just wait 'til they get a load of me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Time for a company move back to your universe. '''Joker''': Worried that I'll steal the show? '''Johnny Cage''': That you'll dice me into bite-sized pieces./That you'll serve me with [[The Silence of the Lambs (film)|chianti and fava beans]].
* '''Johnny Cage''': Is there a point to your evil? '''Joker''': No. Should there be? '''Johnny Cage''': I do not want to know [[Joker (2019 film)|your origin story]].
* '''Joker''': [[The Dark Knight (film)|Why so serious]], Army Girl? '''Sonya Blade''': Fought a lot of bad guys, but none like you. '''Joker''': You've saved the best for last.
* '''Joker''': You'd be prettier if you smiled. '''Sonya Blade''': You die, I smile. '''Joker''': Oh, I like you.
* '''Sonya Blade''': There a reason you've come back? '''Joker''': Don't worry. The punchline's coming soon. '''Sonya Blade''': Over my dead body, clown.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Had enough of you the first time. '''Joker''': Aww, don't like losing in graveyards? '''Sonya Blade''': Not to some face-painted freak.
* '''Joker''': We didn't meet the last time I was here. '''Cassie Cage''': This isn't your first visit? '''Joker''': Nobody told you? I was all the rage.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I've seen better cosplay on Hollywood Boulevard. '''Joker''': What's wrong with my sartorial flare!? '''Cassie Cage''': Step one: admit you have a problem.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you just as cute as a button. '''Cassie Cage''': And aren't you just as creepy as fuck. '''Joker''': Flattery will get you nowhere, deary.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Mom told me all about you, Joker. '''Joker''': Ooh! She must've been all smiles. '''Cassie Cage''': At the thought of me killing you, yes.
* '''Joker''': Pick quickly! Sonya or your little girl? '''Jax''': What the hell have you done, Joker?! '''Joker''': Oh this joke's gonna kill.
* '''Jax''': Dead or alive, you're coming with me. '''Joker''': Whatever you say, officer! '''Jax''': Gonna smack that grin right off him.
* '''Jax''': I'll never forgive you, Joker. '''Joker''': Which of my crimes has your panties twisted? '''Jax''': Making Kano seem like less of a monster.
* '''Joker''': A lifetime of sacrifice, and for what? '''Jax''': The pride of serving my family and country. '''Joker''': You sound like that big, blue boy scout.
* '''Scorpion''': Hellfire awaits, Joker. '''Joker''': As it should for the master of sick burns! '''Scorpion''': Your lunacy must die.
* '''Scorpion''': You, I remember all too well. '''Joker''': Aww, the back of your head still hurting? '''Scorpion''': I should've burned you right then and there.
* '''Joker''': Fancy meeting you here, Scorpy! '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero knew how to find you. '''Joker''': And how is your new cuddle buddy?
* '''Sub-Zero''': I will consign you to the coldest hell. '''Joker''': Ooh! Let me put on my snowsuit! '''Sub-Zero''': Prepare for your soul to freeze.
* '''Joker''': Your girl Frost is quite the filly. '''Sub-Zero''': She became dead to me long ago. '''Joker''': Soon she'll be dead to me, too.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are as soulless as a Cyber Lin-Kuei. '''Joker''': But they lack my gift for witty banter. '''Sub-Zero''': The realms will sleep well with you silenced.
* '''Joker''': Grandmaster Blueberry Ice, eh? '''Sub-Zero''': Only Johnny Cage may use that name and live. '''Joker''': You're hardly intimidating, snow cone.
* '''Joker''': What's with the uber-goth cosplay. '''Noob Saibot''': I am death personified. '''Joker''': You look like death warmed over.
* '''Joker''': Care to compare body counts? '''Noob Saibot''': Yours cannot possibly exceed mine. '''Joker''': Oh my dear boy, Look me up.
* '''Noob Saibot''': The Brotherhood of Shadow is not interested. '''Joker''': Trust me, you could use some comic relief. '''Noob Saibot''': You are beneath us, Joker.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no soul. '''Joker''': I have two, one on each shoe! '''Noob Saibot''': Your 'humor' will die with you.
* '''Joker''': My congratulations to the bride. '''Jacqui''': You know about me and Takeda? '''Joker''': Pain makes your fiancée very chatty.
* '''Jacqui''': Just who are you under the make up? '''Joker''': That's the million dollar question, dearie. '''Jacqui''': How about I shoot it off, and we'll see.
* '''Jacqui''': Dad gave everything, fighting guys like you. '''Joker''': And how did that work out for him? '''Jacqui''': His pain is no joke.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you a vixen. '''Jacqui''': I'm off limits, Joker. '''Joker''': As if I respect boundaries.
* '''Joker''': Those blades, those teeth! '''Baraka''': Realizing the ways I can kill you? '''Joker''': The bucks I'll make selling them in Gotham.
* '''Baraka''': Now I remember you. '''Joker''': It's awfully hard to forget this face. '''Baraka''': I plan to wear it.
* '''Baraka''': What are you supposed to be? '''Joker''': Some call me the Harlequin of Hate. '''Baraka''': You'll make a good snack.
* '''The Joker''': I'm sorry, are you slobbering? '''Baraka''': Because I'm about to taste human flesh. '''The Joker''': Ha ha! The joke's on you.
* '''Joker''': I thought lightning never strikes twice. '''Raiden''': In your case, I will make an exception. '''Joker''': Promise?
* '''Raiden''': I will banish you to Chaosrealm? '''Joker''': Chaos? Now you're talking! '''Raiden''': Be gone, jester!
* '''Raiden''': Your humor eludes me. '''Joker''': I imagine most things do, Blunder God. '''Raiden''': You will be silent!
* '''Joker''': Say hello to your new Chosen One! '''Raiden''': I choose to finish you, Joker. '''Joker''': Well you don't have to be rude!
* '''Joker''': D'Vorah, the entomologist's dream. '''D'Vorah''': No human will study This One, Joker. '''Joker''': You'll look spiffy, pinned to a wall.
* '''Jade''': I've never met someone so horrid. '''Joker''': Oh sweetie, it was just a joke. '''Jade''': You killed millions of people!
* '''Sindel''': You may have the privilege of serving me. '''Joker''': (laughs maniacally) '''Sindel''': Did I say something funny?
* '''Sindel''': What a foul miscreant. '''Joker''': Butter me up, why don't you. '''Sindel''': I'll roast your head on a spit.
* '''Joker''': I love your flair for the dramatic. '''Sindel''': Speak again, knave, and I'll punish you. '''Joker''': Please do.
* '''Joker''': To what do I owe this privilege? '''Sindel''': That sick joke targeting me and Shao Kahn. '''Joker''': You have to admit it was funny.
* '''Spawn''': Together we can purge the Ten Hells. '''Scorpion''': Only if you follow my lead. '''Spawn''': All due respect, that's not in the cards.
* '''Spawn''': You've been to other dimensions? '''Scorpion''': Each has had its own [[Injustice: Gods Among US|injustices]]. '''Spawn''': Maybe that's why my [[Soulcalibur II|soul still burns]].
* '''Jax''': Nobody questions my loyalty. '''Spawn''': There's a snake in every operation. '''Jax''': [[wikipedia:Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'|You wanna be startin' somethin'?]] (Michael Jackson reference)
* '''Spawn''': I've toppled dictators before. '''Sindel''': You mean to kill Shao Kahn. '''Spawn''': No, he's a puppet. You pull the strings.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One likes you, for a Warm Blood. '''Spawn''': Careful, my blood burns. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn prefer spicy flavors.
* '''Spawn''': No more jokes, no more laughs. '''Joker''': Sounds like you've got a case of the grumps! '''Spawn''': I fucking hate clowns.
* '''Spawn''': Kiss Jade goodbye. '''Kotal Kahn''': Not while I draw breath. '''Spawn''': Draw your last.
* '''Spawn''': A man who can never die. '''Geras''': Against a man who can never live. '''Spawn''': Aren't we a pair?
* '''Jacqui''': I don't trust folks who deal with devils. '''Spawn''': I've killed all my devils. '''Jacqui''': Not sure that's any better.
* '''Baraka''': Your meat smells burned. '''Spawn''': Try deep-fried in Hellfire. '''Baraka''': Eh, that passes for edible.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is the Beijing opera in town? '''Spawn''': I'm here to stop Shinnok's revival. '''Kung Lao''': Seems more like you're about to start one.
* '''Spawn''': Imagine Outworld free of slaves. '''Shao Kahn''': Over my dead body. '''Spawn''': Today's the day, skull-fucker.
* '''Spawn''': You have a serious Netherrealm problem. '''Kung Lao''': We don't need help from freelance demons. '''Spawn''': That's exactly what you need!
* '''The Terminator''': Your guns and your cape. [[The Terminator|Give them to me]]. '''Spawn''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|You forgot to say please.]] '''The Terminator''': It was not a request.
* '''The Terminator''': What model are you? '''RoboCop''': I'm a cop, Terminator. '''The Terminator''': I am not subject to human law.
* '''RoboCop''': Haven't we done this before? '''The Terminator''': I have no record of a previous encounter. '''RoboCop''': We have met. I am sure of it.
* '''RoboCop''': Machines are either a benefit or hazard. '''The Terminator''': Which am I? '''RoboCop''': Were you a benefit, you wouldn't be my problem.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a machine. '''RoboCop''': I identify as human. '''The Terminator''': Then you choose termination.
* '''RoboCop''': Why did you contact me? '''Shang Tsung''': To see if I could enlist your services. '''RoboCop''': I cannot aid or abet criminal actions.
* '''Shang Tsung''': What is this supposed to be? '''RoboCop''': I'm taking you in, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': You're not from around here, are you?
* '''RoboCop''': Freeze! Put your hands up. '''Shang Tsung''': I sense this is no amicable visit. '''RoboCop''': You are under arrest, Shang Tsung.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''RoboCop''': It's my duty, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': My actions are not your concern. '''RoboCop''': Even you must obey the law. '''Shao Kahn''': I am the law, fool!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You are a peace officer? '''RoboCop''': I am sworn to protect and serve. '''Shao Kahn''': Such wasted potential.
* '''RoboCop''': Turn over the Kollector. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha ha! Over my dead body. '''RoboCop''': Lethal force protocol engaged.
* '''RoboCop''': I do not usually confront dictators. '''Shao Kahn''': You should be bowing and scraping. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''RoboCop''': You could have saved yourself this trouble. '''Frost''': I have no regrets. '''RoboCop''': Someday, you will.
* '''Frost''': That armor won't save you. '''RoboCop''': I am built to tolerate extreme cold. '''Frost''': Extreme cold, but not Frost cold.
* '''Frost''': I obey no law but mine. '''RoboCop''': If everyone did that, there would be anarchy. '''Frost''': Exactly.
* '''RoboCop''': Frost. You've broken too many laws to count. '''Frost''': I do what I want, when I want. '''RoboCop''': Are you ready to face the consequences?
* '''Nightwolf''': The Great Spirit asked me to help you. '''RoboCop''': How can you help me, Nightwolf? '''Nightwolf''': By training you in the ways of kombat.
* '''Nightwolf''': I'm not surprised Kano eludes you. '''RoboCop''': Because I'm an inferior officer? '''Nightwolf''': Because he's a superior devil.
* '''RoboCop''': You were once a petty criminal. '''Nightwolf''': Who paid, long ago, for his crimes. '''RoboCop''': Have you been reformed?
* '''RoboCop''': Kano has also broken your people's laws? '''Nightwolf''': Too many times, he has defiled the Matoka. '''RoboCop''': He must be held to account.
* '''RoboCop''': You're done making trouble. '''The Joker''': You'll have to catch me first, officer. '''RoboCop''': Dead or alive, you are coming with me.
* '''RoboCop''': Come quietly, Joker. '''The Joker''': Or what, Dodo Cop? '''RoboCop''': There will be trouble.
* '''The Joker''': Just think of this as a game. '''RoboCop''': You're here to play? '''The Joker''': I'm cashing you out.
* '''The Joker''': A new toy! Can I play? '''RoboCop''': You're under arrest, Joker. '''The Joker''': Oh, goody! Cops and robbers.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You ever consider doing movies? '''RoboCop''': Are you serious? '''Johnny Cage''': Absolutely. Can you sing?
* '''Johnny Cage''': Part man. Part machine. All cop. '''RoboCop''': That is correct. '''Johnny Cage''': Please tell me no one's signed you.
* '''RoboCop''': How can I help you, Cage? '''Johnny Cage''': Research! I'm a robot cop in my next blockbuster. '''RoboCop''': What do you want to know?
* '''RoboCop''': Your police films are unrealistic. '''Johnny Cage''': Fans don't want real, they want BOOM! '''RoboCop''': It's a disservice to the public.
* '''Sonya Blade''': You're hiding things from us. '''RoboCop''': Some of my directives are classified. '''Sonya Blade''': Allies don't keep secrets.
* '''RoboCop''': Planning on taking me down? '''Sonya Blade''': Pushing you to be all you can be. '''RoboCop''': Thank you for the assistance.
* '''RoboCop''': Kano is coming with me. '''Sonya Blade''': Can it, Tinhead. '''RoboCop''': Let's keep this professional, Lieutenant.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Surrender Kano to the Special Forces. '''RoboCop''': He's my prisoner, Lieutenant. '''Sonya Blade''': Gonna wish you hadn't said that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': There something wrong, Murphy? '''RoboCop''': My targeting system is a little messed up. '''Cassie Cage''': We can get that fixed.
* '''RoboCop''': You are Johnny Cage's daughter? '''Cassie Cage''': Ha! Shocked I'm not some Beverly Hills brat? '''RoboCop''': Yes.
* '''RoboCop''': Aren't you young to be commander? '''Cassie Cage''': I've got game, old-timer. Just try me. '''RoboCop''': Your call.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I hear you have some new tricks. '''RoboCop''': Your Special Forces has given me upgrades. '''Cassie Cage''': Show me what you've got!
* '''RoboCop''': Your arms need an upgrade? '''Jax''': Think OCP can help me out? '''RoboCop''': You do not want them to own you.
* '''RoboCop''': I have been told about a cop here named Stryker. '''Jax''': He wasn't just a cop. He was Super Cop. '''RoboCop''': It's too bad I cannot meet him.
* '''Jax''': So you're after Kano, too? '''RoboCop''': He's wanted for many crimes on my Earth. '''Jax''': Damn, that guy gets around.
* '''Jax''': You got any original parts left? '''RoboCop''': Just what's under the helmet. '''Jax''': And I thought losing my arms was bad.
* '''Spawn''': So your ass got resurrected, too. '''RoboCop''': For the company's benefit, not mine. '''Spawn''': It's a special kind of hell, isn't it?
* '''Spawn''': There still a man under all that shit? '''RoboCop''': Bad language makes for bad feelings. '''Spawn''': Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.
* '''RoboCop''': How is it you know me? '''Spawn''': I know all damned souls, Murphy. '''RoboCop''': Malebolgia won't have mine.
* '''RoboCop''': Cease and desist, Spawn. '''Spawn''': Vigilantes get you all worked up? '''RoboCop''': All must obey the law.
* '''Scorpion''': Your wife and son? '''RoboCop''': They are lost to me now. '''Scorpion''': The same pain sears both our hearts.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you avenge your murder? '''RoboCop''': My killers are dead, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': That is true justice.
* '''RoboCop''': Allow me to search the Fire Gardens. '''Scorpion''': You will not find Kano among the Shirai Ryu. '''RoboCop''': I must be certain.
* '''RoboCop''': We do not have to do this. '''Scorpion''': All cyborgs are abominations. '''RoboCop''': You have no proof for that charge.
* '''RoboCop''': What crimes have you planned? '''Noob Saibot''': Judging me by my appearance? '''RoboCop''': By your history, Bi-Han.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your fate is sealed by a curse. '''RoboCop''': What do you mean? '''Noob Saibot''': Doomed is your soul, damned is your life.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have crossed my line of death. '''RoboCop''': It is not game over yet. '''Noob Saibot''': All that's left is your demise.
* '''RoboCop''': I have faced death before. '''Noob Saibot''': Your creators won't restore you this time. '''RoboCop''':  They'll fix me. They fix everything.
* '''RoboCop''': How are Tarkatan laws enforced? '''Baraka''' With gnashing teeth and sharpened blades. '''RoboCop''': I would not call that justice.
* '''RoboCop''': A monster like you should be locked up. '''Baraka''': You won't be the one to do it. '''RoboCop''': You are coming with me.
* '''Baraka''': What in the Ten Hells are you? '''RoboCop''': The future of law enforcement. '''Baraka''': Ha! You'll soon be a scrap heap.
* '''Baraka''': My blades will shred your metal. '''RoboCop''': Assaulting an officer is a felony. '''Baraka''': You won't live to report my 'crime'.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Did your creators extinguish your soul? '''RoboCop''': Despite their best efforts, no? '''Sub-Zero''': You may yet still be worthy of the Lin Kuei.
* '''RoboCop''': I need help to catch Kano. '''Raiden''': First, prove yourself worthy of the Order of Light. '''RoboCop''': If I must.
* '''RoboCop''': You would like to test my abilities? '''Raiden''': To determine the goodness of your soul. '''RoboCop'''': Through kombat?
* '''Raiden''': What brings you to Earthrealm, officer? '''RoboCop''': I am pursuing a fugitive named Kano. '''Raiden''': Do not let your search disturb our peace.
* '''Raiden''': Join us against Kronika. '''RoboCop''': I have my own home to protect and serve. '''Raiden''': You disappoint me, Alex Murphy.
* '''Kitana''': Your pursuit of Kano ends at our border. '''RoboCop''': I have to go where the trail leads me. '''Kitana''': Outworld won't recognize your authority.
* '''Kano''': You supposed to be Super Cop?. '''RoboCop''': I'm Officer Alex Murphy. '''Kano''': You're a dead man, you yobbo.
* '''Skarlet''': You're making assumptions about me, officer. '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Skarlet''': I'm not evil, just hungry.
* '''Skarlet''': I cannot smell your blood. '''RoboCop''': There is little left of me that's organic. '''Skarlet''': Then killing you won't cure my hunger.
* '''Sindel''': Why patrol the streets, when you can serve me? '''RoboCop''': That is not a privilege I need. '''Sindel''': My dear officer, you don't have a choice.
* '''RoboCop''': I know all about you. '''Sindel''': Then bow to me with the required reverence. '''RoboCop''': I am taking you in, Sindel.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I am not bound by your laws. '''RoboCop''': You have twenty seconds to comply.
* '''RoboCop''': The answer is no, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': What virtue is there in resistance? '''RoboCop''': I cannot function outside of my prime directives.
* '''Sheeva''': Abandon Malebolgia and serve me. '''Spawn''': You always get what you want? '''Sheeva''': I can be very persuasive.
* '''Sheeva''': Kintaro? Goro? Do they live? '''Sheeva (other player)''': They are both dead, in my timeline. '''Sheeva''': I knew they were the weaker links.
* '''Mileena''': Mother wants us to live as sisters. '''Kitana''': Further proof that she's lost her mind. '''Mileena''': Come. Let us be a family.
* '''Kitana''': Begone, Mileena! '''Mileena''': You would banish me, sister? '''Kitana''': No. I will finish you.
* '''Kitana''': Stay away from Liu Kang. '''Mileena''': Afraid your new lover will prefer me? '''Kitana''': That you'll eat him, Mileena.
* '''Rambo''': Don't start a war you can't win. '''Mileena''': Speaking from experience? '''Rambo''': Yeah.
* '''Rambo''': I've heard you're a freak. '''Mileena''': By whom?! I'll eat them alive! '''Rambo''': Guess I heard right.
* '''Mileena''': You turned down my father. '''Rambo''': That's because I'm no aggressor. '''Mileena''': Either conquer, or be conquered.
* '''Mileena''': You're a dangerous man. '''Rambo''': Only when people push me. '''Mileena''': As you wish.
* '''Spawn''': I'll give you a bad case of indigestion. '''Mileena''': I'll risk it, to have a bite. '''Spawn''': Do it -- you'll pay for it.
* '''Spawn''': Out of my way, lady. '''Mileena''': Only if you best me in kombat. '''Spawn''': Bring it.
* '''Mileena''': You object to Shao Kahn? '''Spawn''': Half the Empire lives in slavery. '''Mileena''': Eventually, all will serve him.
* '''Mileena''': What did you do to my father?! '''Spawn''': I sent him to oblivion. '''Mileena''': You will join him, Hellspawn!
* '''Mileena''': You Shaolin are so arrogant. '''Kung Lao''': Actually Mileena, that is just me. '''Mileena''': I will enjoy devouring your ego.
* '''Kung Lao''': You do know that everyone prefers Kitana to you. '''Mileena''': Not my father, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A man not known for his intelligence.
* '''Kung Lao''': Skarlet, D'Vorah, you. I can't choose. '''Mileena''': Choose what, human? '''Kung Lao''': Who is the creepiest woman of Outworld.
* '''The Terminator''': According to my files, you are unique. '''Mileena''': Your files are correct. '''The Terminator''': Then your death is also extinction.
* '''Jax''': We have Shang Tsung to thank for you? '''Mileena''': Who else but the great sorcerer? '''Jax''': Reason number 5000 that man is on my shit list.
* '''Jade''': The unholy abomination. '''Mileena''': Greets the bootlicking sycophant. '''Jade''': For Kitana Kahn, you will die.
* '''Fujin''': Shao Kahn will not retake the throne. '''Mileena''': My father is inevitable, Fujin. '''Fujin''': Under the weight of my wind, he will snap.
* '''Erron Black''': Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad? '''Mileena''': When I gained the throne, you abandoned it. '''Erron Black''': Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.
* '''Mileena''': A coin for your thoughts, Erron? '''Erron Black''': Just trying to reckon why the hell you're back. '''Mileena''': A million souls cried out for my return.
* '''Cetrion''': Your dual nature is Kronika's gift. '''Mileena''': But it was Shang Tsung who created me. '''Cetrion''': Whom do you think inspired him?
* '''Jacqui''': Didn't lose a wink after watching you die. '''Mileena''': Nor will I, after eviscerating your corpse. '''Jacqui''': And that right there is why.
* '''Cetrion''': I see the fire in your eyes, Mileena. '''Mileena''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Kronika altered our deal!]] '''Cetrion''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Pray she does not alter it further.]]
* '''Mileena''': You weren't helping me, you were using me! '''Rain''': And you were a most useful idiot. '''Mileena''': (snarling)
* '''Rain''': Direct your anger at Tanya, Mileena. '''Mileena''': It was you who betrayed me, not her! '''Rain''': Think, Mileena. Who introduced us?
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not poke the Hive, Mileena. '''Mileena''': I will wipe it from the face of Outworld. '''D'Vorah''': The Kytinn are many, you are one.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One is displeased by your presence. '''Mileena''': Then you'll be happy I'm ending your life. '''D'Vorah''': It is you who dies today, Mileena.
* '''Kabal''': Bullshit you can imitate Kitana, not with that mouth. '''Mileena''': (imitating Kitana) Now do you believe, Kabal? '''Kabal''': How in the hell is that possible?
* '''Mileena''': We both despise D'Vorah. '''Johnny Cage''': Doesn't mean we'll make a buddy picture. '''Mileena''': Just think of the possibilities.
* '''Mileena''': I want the Hourglass. '''Geras''': It is beyond your feeble mind to control it. '''Mileena''': Ha! What little you know, construct.
* '''Liu Kang''': You are more like Sindel than Kitana. '''Mileena''': You flatter me, Shaolin. '''Liu Kang''': No, Mileena. Not at all.
* '''Liu Kang''': Serving Shao Kahn is folly. '''Mileena''': One day I will inherit his empire. '''Liu Kang''': It is doomed to collapse, Mileena.
* '''RoboCop''': I never anticipated this fight. '''Mileena''': Do I make you nervous? '''RoboCop''': No.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Mileena''': I'll turn myself in. Trust me. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''Mileena''': What caused you to track me down? '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Mileena''': It is my sister you seek, not me.
* '''Kano''': Well color me gobsmacked. You and Tanya? '''Mileena''': Name your price, Kano. I must avenge her. '''Kano''': Because it's personal, it's gonna cost extra.
* '''Sindel''': Daughter, welcome! '''Mileena''': You accept me as Kitana's sister? '''Sindel''': As her replacement, should you pass this test.
* '''Sindel''': You disappoint me, Mileena. '''Mileena''': How have I offended you, mother? '''Sindel''': The Shaolin monk still lives.
* '''Scorpion''': You choose enemies poorly. '''Mileena''': You're right, this will be too easy. '''Scorpion''': Burn in hellfire, Mileena.
* '''Scorpion''': Clones are worse than Cyber Lin Kuei. '''Mileena''': Why so vehement, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': You are a perversion of nature.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Mileena. '''Mileena''': Osh-Tekk Usurper! '''Kotal Kahn''': Outworld's deliverer.
* '''Mileena''': Pledge fealty to Shao Kahn's daughter. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch. '''Mileena''': On your knees, Earthrealmer!
* '''Sonya Blade''': Shao Kahn can't be far behind you. '''Mileena''': And there's nothing in your arsenal that can stop him. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sheeva''': You and your mother are queens of deception. '''Mileena''': Lies are the ultimate weapon. '''Sheeva''': Your war on truth will be defeated!
* '''Skarlet''': I can smell your half-breed blood. '''Mileena''': The mixture is unappealing? '''Skarlet''': No, Mileena. It is tantalizing.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So technically, you're Kitana's sister? '''Mileena''': At least until I end her life. '''Cassie Cage''': Thank God I'm an only child.
* '''Mileena''': You aided Kotal Kahn against me. '''Cassie Cage''': Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast. '''Mileena''': For that, I will devour your flesh!
* '''Frost''': How did you become Kahn? '''Mileena''': I was my father's rightful heir! '''Frost''': But too weak to hold the throne.
* '''Mileena''': But for you, Tanya would be alive. '''Rain''': I am not to blame for your failed rebellion. '''Mileena''': It was your plan, Rain!
* '''Mileena''': My sister is now Kahn?! '''Jade''': And she rules Outworld justly and with grace. '''Mileena''': How dare she destroy my empire!
* '''Frost''': What's on your dirty mind? '''Rain''': I need someone cool to rule my world. (Prince reference) '''Frost''': That's some fantasy, but it's not mine.
* '''Rain''': You must miss being Kahnum. '''Mileena''': I enjoyed its glamorous life. (Prince reference) '''Rain''': A pity you won't have it again.
* '''Jax''': We've got you surrounded, Rain. '''Rain''': Then shall we begin the party? '''Jax''': Party's over. You're out of time. (Prince reference)
* '''The Joker''': We meet again, sweet prince! '''Rain''': This time we battle to the last. '''The Joker''': (laughs) Let's go crazy! (Prince reference)
* '''Cetrion''': Argus has made mistakes. '''Rain''': The first was denying that I'm his son! '''Cetrion''': His first was fathering you.
* '''Kung Lao''': You cannot defeat me. '''Rain''': I will rain death upon you, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': Good thing I brought a hat.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is it true Edenians worship you? '''Rain''': Those that do, are blessed with my faith. '''Kung Lao''': Their faith is misplaced.
* '''Liu Kang''': It is time we settle this, Rain. '''Rain''': Persist, and risk a god's wrath. '''Liu Kang''': Note how I tremble in fear.
* '''Fujin''': I knew your father, Rain. '''Rain''': Then acknowledge my godhood. '''Fujin''': You are unworthy to be his heir.
* '''Spawn''': Ambition's got its hook into you bad. '''Rain''': Here to keep me down? '''Spawn''': No, to bury you in hell.
* '''Spawn''': Still pissed at your father, aren't you? '''Rain''': Argus should have trusted me to rule Edenia. '''Spawn''': He saw through your shit just like I do.
* '''Shang Tsung''': I will torment you for eternity. '''Rain''': You would be killed in the attempt, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You could have served, Rain. '''Rain''': I would much rather steal your empire. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha! You fool.
* '''Cassie Cage''': How about that. Another wannabe emperor. '''Rain''': It's not wise to insult a god. '''Cassie Cage''': It's the least I'm doing to you.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So what's your problem with Earthrealm? '''Rain''': All of its denizens are beneath me, woman. '''Cassie Cage''': And the award for &quot;Most Pretentious Prick&quot; goes to.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain. '''Rain''': Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer? '''Cassie Cage''': Everybody forgets how to fucking drive.
* '''Cassie Cage''': You're pretty high on yourself, Rain. '''Rain''': Should I not be? I'm a god. '''Cassie Cage''': You sure you and dad aren't twins?
* '''Rain''': You are not divine. '''Cassie Cage''': And yet, your ass is still mine. '''Rain''': You will choke on your hubris.
* '''Kabal''': So who the hell names their kid &quot;Rain&quot;? '''Rain''': Do not dare insult my mother! '''Kabal''': She didn't do you any favors, friend!
* '''Kotal Kahn''': You have not yet suffered for your rebellion. '''Rain''': Nor will I ever, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Today, you will face Osh-Tekk justice.
* '''Rambo''': You're full of shit. '''Rain''': Truly, I have no designs on your Earth. '''Rambo''': Guys like you are never satisfied.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a half god. '''Rain''': The first born son of Argus. '''Sub-Zero''': That claim holds no water.
* '''RoboCop''': You betrayed Kotal Kahn to Mileena. '''Rain''': Given the chance, I would have betrayed her. '''RoboCop''': You are not to be trusted.
* '''D'Vorah''': Argus himself found you unworthy. '''Rain''': No, my father feared me, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Then you are fortunate he let you live.
* '''Skarlet''': You do not respect me. '''Rain''': You are of the streets, I am of the heavens. '''Skarlet''': I will bleed out your ego.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Kronika sure has it in for you. '''Rain''': Because I laughed at her ludicrous offer. '''Sonya Blade''': That makes two of us.
* '''Kitana''': What happened to Tanya? '''Rain''': For her treason, Kotal killed her. '''Kitana''': You face the same punishment, Rain.
* '''Geras''': The bastard son of Argus. '''Rain''': I am his heir, Geras. '''Geras''': Not in this, or any other timeline.

== Voice cast ==
* Ron Yuan as Scorpion
* Steve Blum as Sub-Zero, Baraka
** Dimitri 'Vegas' Thivaios as Dimitri Vegas Sub-Zero
* Andrew Bowen as Johnny Cage
** [[Linden Ashby]] as 1995 Johnny Cage
* Richard Epcar as Raiden, The Joker
** [[Christopher Lambert]] as 1995 Raiden
* Phil LaMarr as Kotal Kahn
* Troy Baker as Erron Black, Shinnok
* [[Ronda Rousey]] as Sonya Blade
** [[Bridgette Wilson]] as 1995 Sonya Blade
* Erica Lindbeck as Cassie Cage
* Megalyn Echikunwoke as Jacqui Briggs
* William C. Stephens as Jax
* Kari Wahlgren as Kitana, Mileena
* Andrew Morgado as Kollector
* Beata Poźniak as Skarlet
* Sunil Malhotra as Kung Lao
* Matthew Yang King as Liu Kang, Fujin
* Mela Lee as Jade
* Dave B. Mitchell as Geras, Sektor
* Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Cetrion
* Sara Cravens as Frost
* Vanessa Marshall as Sheeva
* Jonathan Cahill as Kabal
* Kelly Hu as D'Vorah
* Ike Amadi as Shao Kahn, Cyrax
* Sean Chiplock as Noob Saibot, Kharon
* JB Blanc as Kano
* Jennifer Hale as Kronika
* Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa as Shang Tsung
* Daniel Lujan as Nightwolf
* Chris Cox as The Terminator
* Mara Junot as Sindel
* Keith David as Spawn
* Peter Weller as RoboCop
* Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo
* Dempsey Pappion as Rain

==External links==


{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2019 video games]]</text>
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'''''[[w:Mortal Kombat 11|Mortal Kombat 11]]''''' is a 2019 fighting video game and a sequel to 2015's ''[[Mortal Kombat X]]''.

==Arcade Endings==
*'''Baraka''': Kronika's power was mine, mine to share with the tribe! In the new timeline I built, Tarkatans would be slaves no more. We would rule. We easily took Edenia, then Outworld and the Netherrealm. Last we challenged Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat. Within a thousand years, all realms fell to Tarkatan blade... And we have not run out of meat since! (''Laughing Evilly'')
*'''Cassie Cage''': For the second time in my life, I kicked the living shit out of an immortal. My prize? The Hourglass. Now I can change history! Talk about ridonkulous cosmic power. But despite what you may think about Beverly Hills girls, that is SO not my style. The Chosen One thing is for the Liu Kangs and Kitanas of the world. In the next timeline, all I want is to be a model soldier. To command the next generation of Special Forces. We were born to defend Earthrealm! Just like the heroes that inspired me...my parents. Okay, so there's one more thing I want: My mom back. Not just for me, but for dad. He and my mom deserve a happily-ever-after retirement. We'll never know how different things were the last time around. But we'll be together. A family. And that's all that matters.
*'''Cetrion''': Though I denied their truth, eventually I realized the wisdom of Liu Kang's words. There is virtue greater than my mother's desired balance. Good must be allowed to flourish. But no matter how I reshaped time, rooting out evil proved impossible. Though freed from want, mortals still killed each other. Divided by realm and race, they easily justified their hate. Hubris, greed, envy. To appreciate my gifts, mortal sins must be cleansed. Which is why I baptize the realms with fire. For eons mortals will battle evil, eventually achieving victory. And when they emerge from the darkness, they will be humbled. Eager to embrace the light.
*'''D'Vorah''': Vermin. That is the humanoid word for the Kytinn and our fellow insectoids. But with the Hourglass, This One can review history and give lie to that myth. Humanoids live to kill. Without a common enemy to fight, they divide. Destroy each other. Insectoids live to survive. No conflicts divide us. We build upon each other. Kin does not kill kin. So tell This One... Who are the vermin? Time for This One to write a more just history. One in which pesky humanoids finally take the place they deserve... Scrambling beneath our feet.
*'''Erron Black''': Truth be told it surprised me, putting down Kronika. Not bad for a scrawny kid from Wickett. Now that it's done, now what? I don't cotton to being Lord of Time, stuck on some island at the edge of nowhere. No, Erron Black likes being in the thick of it. Seems to me, time oughta stay all mashed up. It's been a hell of a ride. Gotta keep these thrills coming. Which means makin' sure no one gets a chance to screw this up. Once the hourglass gets dumped in the Sea of Blood, ain't no one ever shaping history again. What happens next? Hell if I know. And that's just the way I like it.
*'''Frost''': Sub-Zero dismissed me. Raiden dismissed me. They all did, even Kronika. Until I froze the smug looks off all their faces and became the Lin Kuei's new Grandmaster. The Hourglass offers even greater prospects. With it, I'll mold history to carve my name on everyone's lips. But even its power has limits. My vision can be upended by people's individual choices. Unlike Kronika, I won't let these imperfections fester until time itself must be restarted. The Lin Kuei will be my time warriors. Travelling through history, they'll get rid of those whose actions threaten my vision. From now on, no one will overlook my greatness. I'll never be dismissed again.
*'''Fujin''': As the new Keeper of Time, I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Who was I to design the destinies of mortals? As their protector, I had spent eons safeguarding them. But while I had grown to appreciate mortals deeply... ...I understood precious little about their daily existence. So I used the Hourglass to live hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. They spanned the possibilities of realm, race, gender, and faith. Most importantly, I learned the simple joy of ending each day in the warm embrace of family. Humbled by my new wisdom, I bend the arc of history not to my will, but to the service of those who must live it. While it is beyond my power to guarantee outcomes, I will give mortals the chance to have better, more peaceful lives.
*'''Geras''': Kronika's endless cycle of rewinding and restarting timelines had destroyed my spirit. But she refused to grant me either freedom or death. So I took her power to do what she could not. I would create one final, perfect timeline. Then, I would rest. But the task was more difficult than I imagined. Mortals refused to follow the paths I set for them. Timeline after timeline, my frustration grew. I began to understand why Kronika had been driven to madness. Perhaps mortals do not need a Lord of Time. I will sacrifice my body and my mantle to re-sculpt the Sands so that the Hourglass runs itself. And for the first time in all eternity. I can rest.... In peace.
*'''Jacqui Briggs''': The Hourglass was there for the taking, and I can think of only one thing: Dad. Killed, made a Revenant, resurrected. Since coming back, Dad's never forgotten the things he did for Quan Chi. I thought with the hourglass, I could fix all that. And I can. Dad won't die in that massacre. He'll never be a Revenant. But turns out, what my gut's told me since the start of all this is true. Dad and mom got together when he was in treatment. He doesn't suffer, they don't meet. And I'll never be born. And you know what? I'm good with that. I'm not just protecting Dad. I'm protecting everyone he'll risk his life to save. In my shoes, it's what he would. It's what he would. It's what a Briggs does. I know you'll never hear this, but goodbye Dad. I love you.
*'''Jade''': I held the power to shape time and destiny, but I was lost. Which Kahn should be restored - my lover, Kotal, or my loyal friend, Kitana? I heard Kotal's voice call out to me--Follow your heart, Jade. So I let my heart lead, and it took me to an unexpected place... a faint memory of home and... My mother. I restored my parents and Edenia, building a new era without Shao Kahn! And what a happy childhood I enjoyed... But as I matured, I sensed that I was no ordinary child. Kronika's power dwelled within me... Calling me to a higher purpose. When I came of age, I ascended to godhood as the Protector of Edenia. Armed with the knowledge of past timelines, I challenged Shinnok and Cetrion. Without Kronika's children pitting the realms against each other, all could be at peace. And remain so, under my watchful eyes.
*'''Jax''': All I wanted was to fix my life. Now I have the power to fix history. Raiden warns me, I can't fix everything. Change to much and I could lose Vera. Lose Jacqui. But this power's bigger than us. If I think only about helping myself, what kind of officer am I? What kind of man? I've been lucky. My family and I have lived the American Dream. But most people who look like me haven't had that chance. I owe it to them to put things right. And I'm not waiting centuries for people to get woke, when I've got the power to speed things up. I don't get it right the first time. Or the second. Or even the third. But eventually, I knock it out of the damn park. My family's back. The world's a better place for everyone. Turns out you CAN have everything. Anyone who says you can't, needs to dream bigger.
*'''Johnny Cage''': This whole adventure? Capital 'I' insane. I marry Sonya? Have a kid who actually likes me? Enquiring minds want to know how the hell that happens! So I get the Hourglass to show me how kicking Shinnok's ass, which I did beautifully, turned me from Hollywood mega-star into global icon. So far, so good. Until I let that fame screw me up. Didn't hit rock bottom until I saw just how badly I'd let down my little girl. I finally got what Old Man Me was saying about needing humility and maturity. But I also knew I couldn't get there without living the same life he did. So I restored the timeline, just as it was. With one, tiny little difference... Sonya's story won't end underneath the rubble of some busted-up Netherrealm castle. Because Johnny Cage flicks always have happy endings.
*'''Joker''': This was my dream vacation. I saw mayhem. Mutilation. It was all a gas... ...for a while. But these nincompoops? They didn't really GET me. Not even that pretty boy, Ninja Mime. Good night, sweet prince! I'd &quot;finished&quot; just about everyone worth finishing in Earthrealm and Outworld. Even loveable old Netherrealm. I was a lonely heart in search of new friends. But as luck would have it, I had just the gizmo to find them: [gushing] And oh, the Hourglass spoiled me! Havik and I are going to be bosom buddies. And what's that? My new pal knows an entire realm devoted to law and order? And he exists solely to disrupt it? Well I say, he and I need to get busy! Meet the League of Misunderstood Maniacs! We're giving Orderrealm an enema. And when we're done, who knows where we'll crash next. Maybe we'll come to your house and slip live grenades under your pillow. Maybe we'll gut your favorite pet. Or maybe we'll just... ...break your TV right now! [maniacal laughter]
*'''Kabal''': Shit sounds cool right? The power to control time. Immortality. Destiny. Well let me tell ya, this job sucks. There's no pay, no weekends, and your shift lasts forever. The only smart play is to turn back time and give it back to Kronika. Bet your ass she's grateful, too! I didn't ask for much. Just a chance to take out anyone who's ever tried to burn me. Black Dragon was always more a gig than a brotherhood, anyway. Now I get to live large, enjoying the simple life of a well-to-do family man. And if Shao Kahn or Shinnok ever come knocking, my family and I'll take 'em down. Just like I took down Shinnok's Mom. (''Chuckling happily'')
*'''Kano''': I've cut a lotta of deals, but none spiffier than this. I spared Kronika and she gave up the Hourglass. The power to shape time and history to my liking? Oh ho ho, fuck yeah! I set it up so everything came up aces, Every desire, every wish, every whim I ever had? Done and done. But I realized pretty quick I'd suck the fun out of everything. Without a fight, winning was worthless. Nah, the fun wasn't in the having, it was in the getting. So I changed things up one more time. Now what I want is always just out of reach, I gotta earn it. I score lotsa wins, but no always. And when I do win, (''Evil Chuckle'') it's something to savor!
*'''Kitana''': As I gazed upon the Hourglass, I knew what I must do: restore my homeland, Edenia to existence. Experiencing Edenia's verdant land for the first time... I've never felt such joy. But that joy was short-lived. Edenia's traditions, its languages, its culture. All were completely foreign, having been forbidden to me by Shao Kahn. I fit in with my people no better than a Tarkatan. The truth was hard. Though Edenian by blood, I am not an Edenian. I am an Outworlder. Not only that, I am Outworld's Kahn. I will use ancient Edenian teachings to make myself a better sovereign. With them, I will fulfill my life's mission to better all of Outworld's people, including Edenia.
*'''Kollector''': Kronika made big promises. Not big enough, for what my people suffered. Our hands built the Koliseum, the Palace...We were slaves. We served or we died. Every coin I took for Shao Kahn's tribute, Outworld owed my people. Not that my Nakanadan brothers and sisters joined arms to help me. No, every great treasure, I have won myself. I do not wait for handouts. I take what I desire. That is why I am now Kahn. Netherrealm. Earthrealm. Orderrealm. Chaosrealm. I want them all. And I will take them by right...Of MORTAL KOMBAT!
*'''Kotal Kahn''': In her last moments, Kronika tried to tempt me. Spare her and she would re-write history. With Jade as my queen I would rule an eternal Osh-Tekk empire that spanned all the realms. But Kronika never understood the Osh-Tekk heart. Our lives are cloth, woven from choice and circumstance. Pull even one thread, that cloth is torn asunder and made worthless. Now that I am tasked with keeping time, others beg me to have their histories rewritten. But as long as the Hourglass is mine, I will not shape destiny in any one being's favour. History will play out as determined by its players. Let the sands fall where they may.
*'''Kung Lao''': Of course I defeated Kronika. And when I did, there was only one thing wanted to do with the Hourglass. Undo the defeat of my ancestor, the Great Kung Lao. In my timeline, the Great Kung Lao is the undisputed Mortal Kombat champion. Earthrealm never loses another tournament. For generations, his example inspires millions to join the White Lotus Society and defend Earthrealm. They in turn inspire rebels to overthrow Shao Kahn in Outworld. The realm makes peace. Until, inevitably, a more powerful enemy comes along... ...and finds Earthrealm backed by Kung Lao, Immortal Lord of Time and Warrior Supreme. Beat that, Liu Kang.
*'''Liu Kang''': What does it mean to wield the Sands of Time? To be the Chosen One? It means making choices that break your heart. For the protection of all, I shared Kronika's power with the people I trust and loved most. Together we replace the Elder Gods that Cetrion had betrayed... and became eternal guardians of the realms. Still... My heart longs for a simple life. The kind one cannot have being the Chosen One, let alone an Elder God. What Kitana and I would not give for those simple pleasures. Perhaps in another timeline, they could be ours.
*'''Mileena''': With the Hourglass won, my thoughts turned toward my sister. I was born from her flesh. We shared the same blood. I wanted us to be family... But she wanted me dead. I was not her twin, I was a monstrosity! How horrified she would be, to know that I've used Kronika's power to take her place. Under my parents' adoring gaze, I rule the realms as Kahnum of Time. My sister's friends, her lover? They cherish me. Kitana is forgotten, her name buried in the sands of history. Yet even I can't reign forever. Like all queens, I need an heir. Someone to carry on in my name, and see my will done across the eons. Unlike my sister, my daughter regards me with awe and wonder. To her I am no abomination, I am perfection.
*'''Nightwolf''': Before I was Nightwolf, I was a fool named Grey Cloud. Born into poverty, I resented my ancestors for giving up our future to colonizers... Kano offered a way out, promising riches if I stole the tribe's most sacred relics. I was sorely tempted, but then I realized that by saving myself, I'd be surrendering the last of my people's dignity. For the first time, I defended the Matoka's pride. Kano was unimpressed. But as I lay dying, the Great Spirit came to me. By rejecting Kano, I had proven worthy of an ancient honor. The mantle of Nightwolf... legendary defender of the Matoka. Now, as I inherit Kronika's mantle, the way before me is split. The Keeper of Time cannot also be my tribe's defender. Which path do i choose? Even here, at time's beginning, the Great Spirit's wisdom guides me. She calls me to restore history. The Matoka, I must leave to another. To the next Nightwolf. Like all our sacred relics, the Nightwolf mantle belongs to the tribe. Any Matokan, can prove worthy of its power. I enjoy imagining who will defend us next.
*'''Noob Saibot''': Kronika said I would lead the New Era's deadliest clan. But she made such promises to many. She could never keep them all. So I betrayed her, before she could betray me. When Kronika's sands fused with my shadows, my ambitions grew. Why be ruler of mortals, when I could rule destiny itself? Mortals resisted, but could not stop, my blanketing history in cold, endless night. All is dark. All are shadows. I have had many names. Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.
*'''Raiden''': Kronika had manipulated me. In timeline after timeline, she stoked my anger and fed my arrogance, turning me against Liu Kang. My nose rubbed in my own fallibility, I was humbled. How could I be worthy to accept the mantle as Keeper of Time? I thought to control time and destiny fairly, I must purge myself of all human emotion. Summoning the strongest magic, I burned away my fear and anger. All that remained was pure logic. But I learned quickly that the logical choice is often not the just choice. Unless tampered by compassion and heart, logic leads to decisions no better than those based on anger or fear. Now I am once more at time's beginning. But on this journey through history, I will infuse logic with love. In this timeline, I will finally achieve peace for the citizens of all realms.
*'''Rain''': Kronika was dead, the Hourglass taken, and Edenia's future mine to command. I had obtained all I had wanted. All except that which I had wanted most: to know the true story of my parentage. That I was a bastard, I knew. Born of an illicit affair between the Edenian god Argus, and a mortal woman, Amara. But what I didn't know, until the Hourglass showed me, was that I and my mother were both victims. She hadn't abandoned me. Thanks to my father's lies, she had thought me stillborn. I was stolen away and left to rot among peasants, while my mother died from grief. Argus hid his scandal and his shame by killing the one person who ever loved me. For that, he will die. As will his sons, Taven and Daegon. His beloved wife, Delia? She, I will let live. Let her heart break, as my mother's did, as she weeps over her children's corpses.
*'''Rambo''': I didn't ask for this war. But once it started, I had to finish it. Hands down, Kronika was the toughest enemy I ever faced. All my tactics, my training, meant nothing against a god like her. In the end, it was a battle of wills. It never occurred to me that for winning, I'd get her Hourglass. At first, I hoped to right every wrong in history. But then I figured out that doing it meant I'd have to decide the fates of billions. Picking who lives and who dies, for eternity? It was going to kill my soul. I'd end up no better than those old men who sent us off to war, not giving a shit about what would happen. And that's not the man I want to be. It's time to walk away, for good this time, leaving the pain and the ugliness behind. After all I've been through, I've earned a little peace.
*'''Robocop''': OCP built me to serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. So when I found Kano dealing arms to Old Detroit's gangs, I had one duty: Apprehend him. I never thought the chase would to take me to a different universe, let alone end in a fight with Kano's protector, Kronika. And when Kronika went down, something unexpected happened. Her power washed over me, sweeping away the limits my designers had put on my programming. For the first time, I saw the depth of OCP's corruption. It wasn't just a couple of greedy executives... ...it was the whole damned company. OCP is making a killing playing both sides, selling to cops and criminals. When I get home, I am bringing them to justice. It will not be fast or easy. OCP has too much cash, and too much firepower, for me to clean things up alone. It is good thing this'll be an &quot;inter-agency&quot; effort. Welcome to the future of law enforcement.
*'''Scorpion''': I made my Future Self a promise: that I would not stay mired in the past. But once I controlled the Hourglass, I could not keep that promise. I had to restore my family. Over and over I crafted the Sands of Time. Yet in every new timeline my family's tragedy repeated. I was powerless to change it. After eons, I learend the truth. Kronika was not alone. She was one of many Titans, each more powerful and ancient than the Elder Gods. It is they who conspire against us. Myself, my family. We are pawns in their game. Why? I do not know. But I will find out. And then, I will have vengeance.
*'''Shang Tsung''': Kronika's power overwhelmed me, such that I would have been driven mad... Had I not spent centuries mastering the dark powers beyond the grasp of ordinary mortals. Now I am the master of time and fate. But Kronika's fall proves that even Titans can be defeated. Though my power lets me roam infinite timelines and feast upon the souls of billions, I am vulnerable. To survive, I must return to the shadows, avoid confrontation, and work my will through the hands of others... More specifically, through the hands of my fellow Titans... These monstrous beings are plied easily by appealing their greed, vanity, and fear. Through them, every soul in eternity bends to my influence. In my New Era, morality will be exposed as the illusion it is. The cunning will prosper while the &quot;good&quot; suffer. This is the word of Shang Tsung. Have a nice day.
*'''Shao Kahn''': I conquered history like I conquered realms - merging billions of potential timelines into a singularity. The universe has been remade in my image and all is as it should be. The weak serve the strong. The strong compete for power, wealth, and my favor in Mortal Kombat. For centuries, the tournament's champion has gone undefeated. That champion... is me! Hail the Konqueror... Hail Shao Kahn!(''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'')
*'''Sheeva''': A lifetime of battle prepared me to conquer Kronika. But as the Keeper of Time, I must be a creator, not a conqueror. I thought of the many sons and daughters I've lost in battle through the years. Imagined a better destiny for my kin. A history where the Shokan build rather than destroy. The results were catastrophic. Comfort and ease extinguished the dragon's fire that once lit the heart of every Shokan. They became weak, corrupted fools. The timeline had to start again. War, for all its tragedies, is the forge of Shokan will. My people will fight. Many will die. But I will lead us to victory. And in the aftermath, the dragon's fire will blaze in Shokan hearts for eternity.
*'''Sindel''': In the beginning... Shao Kahn invaded Edenia, murdered my husband, Jerrod, and forced me to be his bride. That's the story, but it's a lie. One I told, lest I lose the faith of my subjects, or of my daughter, Kitana. The truth? Jerrod was weak. Destined to fail. By betraying him, I gained a better lover and the ultimate weapon... A conqueror to unite all realms and put them at my beck and call. Then Kronika upended history, and I found myself confronting a future in which I'd been dead for centuries. My so-called family had failed me in every way. Kitana broke my heart worst. Instead of uniting the realms, she sought to liberate them. As if the Wastelands' savages could ever be more than serfs! Ever the caring mother, I had to discipline my little princess. And after that, I had to discipline a Titan... Now I have defeated Kronika. Outgrown Shao Kahn and Kitana. I have no more family. No more rivals. No more gods. I sit above them all, on a throne that unites all realms... and all realities. Whoever you are, wherever you are, when you are before me, kneel. For I am Sindel, Empress of Time, and you exist only to serve me... 
*'''Skarlet''': All of his daughters, Shao Kahn made me deadliest. He pulled me from the gutter. Bound me to the Blood Code. Made me fight for recognition. Perhaps he will commend me...when I bind the Blood Code to the Sands of Time. Now a Blood God, I demand more than Shao Kahn's recognition. I demand worship. I'll have temples, ministers, acolytes, prayers...And sacrifices. Rivers of blood, shed in my name, purging heretics who dare reject me. (''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'') How proud Shao Kahn is now. How proud...and obedient. For the only thing better than my Master's recognition, is to make him beg for mine. All will worship me...or there will be blood.
*'''Sonya Blade''': None of us saw Kronika coming. Not even Raiden. But with the Hourglass, I can see every terror in the realms. Any sane person would run screaming at the sight of them. It's my duty to take out these ancient, all-powerful beings. But to do that, I need an elite squad of immortal gods. Turns out to make a new god, you've gotta destroy an old one. So I hunt the oldest I can find, an omni-deity from a forgotten, unpronounceably-named realm. It's the fight of my life. But I've got something this god doesn't: family. In my past, these were the people who mattered most. Now, they're my God Squad. My daughter. My brother-in-arms. My god-daughter. Yep. Even Johnny. But only because Cassie insisted. And maybe I missed him a little. Just don't let him know that.
*'''Spawn''': I'd snuffed out every devil in Hell... ...until Netherrealm invaders showed up to piss me off. It would've cost a lot of power, fighting them alone. But they were being hunted by my new friends. Call them Fire and Ice. They argue. CONSTANTLY. Which is why I usually like to roll solo. But when it comes to killing demonic assholes, these guys don't flinch. I can get along with that. The Grandmasters tipped me off to Kronika. Said she was resurrecting some Netherrealm god named Shinnok. But that's not happening on my watch. Kronika's just much a devil as Malebolgia. Both make promises. Both tell lies. Both underestimate me. That's why I'll make a new hell for them, where they can burn together... ...for eternity. [brief, creepy, satisfied laughter] The Netherrealm's locked down, but there's still eight Hells left to purge. It's time to bring up the reserves. I made choices in my life that sealed my fate. I'm beyond redemption. But even the damned are capable of doing some good. So all you Devils out there, making false promises and spewing lies? We're coming -- and you don't have a chance in Hell.
*'''Sub-Zero''': Once I gained the Hourglass, my first thought was to re-write history and redeem the Lin Kuei's honor. But then I thought of Bi-Han, his life consumed by evil. Before I could redeem my clan, I had to redeem my brother. With the Hourglass, I wound back in time to our childhood. I studied every second of Bi-Han's life to understand why... Why he embraced Sektor's corruption. Why he reveled in the vile power given to him by Quan Chi. Armed with that knowledge, I re-sculpted the Sands of Time. I changed Bi-Han's life and unfroze his heart. Now we are comrades, not rivals. Together as joint Grandmasters, we lead the Lin Kuei in defense of Earthrealm.
*'''The Terminator''': ''(Narrated by Cassie Cage)'' It was an epic accident that brought the Terminator here, rather than to his own Earth's past. But it didn't take long for him to adapt. He figured that terminating Kronika, and taking her Hourglass, gave him the best chance at achieving his mission objective. Destroying humanity so that the machines prevail. Turns out the Hourglass wasn't the ultimate weapon. No matter how many times the Terminator re-booted history, the war between humans and the machines always ended the same. With their mutual destruction. He realized this war was a losing game. The only way to win, was not to play. So the Terminator used the Hourglass to build a future where machines and humans don't fight, they cooperate. The Terminator knew that to preserve this future, no one else could learn about the Hourglass. The information stored in his machine mind was dangerous. It had to be eliminated. That's why the Terminator threw himself into the infinite depths of the Sea of Blood. No one would ever find him, or unlock the Hourglass' secrets. If you could ask him about it, he'd tell you he made the only logical choice. But in my book, that machine's a hero.
&lt;br /&gt;

== Pre-Battle Dialogue ==
* '''Cassie Cage''': Hey there [[Frozen (2013 film)|Elsa]], what's up? '''Frost''': Ugh! Why does everyone call me that? '''Cassie Cage''': Oh honey, let me help you.
* '''Erron Black''': Goddamn, your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  '''Noob Saibot''': It will be the last thing you hear.  '''Erron Black''': Aw, hell no.
* '''Kollector''': What rare technology. '''Frost''': A gift from divine hands. '''Kollector''': It belongs in mine.
* '''Geras''': Prove your greatness. '''Kung Lao''': I do not have anything to prove. '''Geras''': The refrain of failures throughout history.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I say it, just once?  '''Scorpion''': Only if you wish to suffer.  '''Cassie Cage''': (imitating Scorpion) GET OVER HERE!
* '''Cassie Cage''': Grandmaster Hasashi. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I ask for a favor? '''Sub-Zero''': You may battle for one. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's cookin', Good Lookin'? '''Cassie Cage''': Ewww, No. Seriously?! '''Johnny Cage''': Wait, what?! Not what I meant!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will join my concubines. '''Cassie Cage''': One -- eww, two -- piss off! '''Shao Kahn''': I like females with fire.
* '''Baraka''': Nay aka ratakka tahar kombat. '''Kung Lao''': All I understood from that was 'kombat'. '''Baraka''': Then you understand enough.
* '''Baraka''': It is a battle of blades. '''Kung Lao''': My hat's blade has greater range. '''Baraka''': But you only have one.
* '''Frost''': I deserve your respect. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch./You haven't earned any, Frost. '''Frost''': Wrong answer, Blade.
* '''Kano''': So, we in bizzo eh, D'Vorah? '''D'Vorah''': You are a means to This One's ends. '''Kano''': We'll get along just fine.
* '''Frost''': The past is in the past.  '''Frost (other player)''': Then let your storm rage on!  '''Frost''': Time to test my limits and break through!
* '''Erron Black''': That's some outfit. '''Sub-Zero''': It honors Lin Kuei tradition. '''Erron Black''': Time to let the past die.
* '''Kabal''': I'm as fast as [[Grease (film)|greased lightning]]. '''Erron Black''': Look at you, speaking Texan. '''Kabal''': Figured I'd use words you'd understand.
* '''Erron Black''': Last chance to walk away. '''Jax''': No chance, scumbag. '''Erron Black''': I pull, and I'm putting you down.
* '''Jade''': In the future you're dead, I'm a Revenant. '''Baraka''': I prefer my fate to yours. '''Jade''': I must agree, Baraka.
* '''Scorpion''': You rejected Kronika's offer. '''Kung Lao''': I will succeed on my own merits. '''Scorpion''': For once, your pride was useful. 
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's that, Skarlet? '''Skarlet''': [[Gone with the Wind (film)|The Gods as my witness, I'll never go thirsty again.]] '''Johnny Cage''': {{W|Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn}}.
* '''Frost''': Are you my future self? '''Frost (other player)''': I am your replacement. '''Frost''': Kronika has betrayed me!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Who are you, ghost?  '''Noob Saibot (other player)''': [[Harry Potter|He who shall not be named.]]  '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your [[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|deathly hollow]].
* '''Kollector''': Have you seen Ferra-Torr? '''D'Vorah''': Only their corpses, Kollector. '''Kollector''': Shao Kahn will not be pleased.
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not impede This One, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I will protect Shao Kahn. '''D'Vorah''': How will death profit you?
* '''Liu Kang''': There is still honor in you, Frost. '''Frost''': I don't need you to tell me. '''Liu Kang''': Then why do you display none?
* '''Jade''': Kronika's minion. '''Frost''': Better than being Kotal's kept woman. '''Jade''': At least my body remains my own.
* '''Jade''': Sub-Zero's former student. '''Frost''': I exceed him in every way. '''Jade''': In your mind, perhaps.
* '''D'Vorah''': Such bile you spew at me, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Even Mileena was less a cretin. '''D'Vorah''': This One will not be judged.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Sub-Zero was wise to dismiss you. '''Frost''': What do you know about it, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': That bad soil yields no bounty.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': I despise you as I did Mileena. '''Frost''': You have problems with strong women? '''Kotal Kahn''': Those who seek stations above their faculty.
* '''Jacqui''': Women warriors should stick together. '''Kitana''': Realm before gender, Jacqueline Briggs. '''Jacqui''': If that's how you want to play it, fine.
* '''Kitana''': I was once young, like you. '''Jacqui''': Just how old are you, Kitana? '''Kitana''': Such an impolite question, Jacqueline.
* '''Frost''': How is it, being born to loyalty? '''Kitana''': I can't say, I've known nothing else. '''Frost''': Let me enlighten you.
* '''Jade''': So, Kitana. Liu Kang? '''Kitana''': Jade, he's just a friend. '''Jade''': I see how you look at him.
* '''Kitana''': One thing keeps you from greatness. '''Kung Lao''': Let me guess, pride? '''Kitana''': A flaw you and Johnny Cage share.
* '''Kitana''': So you were to defeat Shinnok? '''Johnny Cage''': What is with people? Is it so hard to believe? '''Kitana''': Yes.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We need a girl talk, Kitana. '''Kitana''': We are women, not girls, Cassandra. '''Cassie Cage''': Missing the point entirely.
* '''Kitana''': What does your tribe desire? '''Baraka''': To savor the blood of its enemies. '''Kitana''': Charming as always, Baraka.
* '''Kitana''': Would you welcome death, Geras? '''Geras''': Once my service to Kronika is finished. '''Kitana''': Then you don't have long to wait.
* '''Kitana''': You soil every room you enter. '''Kano''': Bloke's gotta mark his territory. '''Kitana''': Even Baraka's more civilized.
* '''Scorpion''': Shao Kahn escaped your vengeance. '''Kitana''': Something I regret deeply. '''Scorpion''': Next time, forget mercy.
* '''Kitana''': The thought of you with my mother. '''Shao Kahn''': She always pleased me, Kitana. '''Kitana''': I will flay the smile off your face.
* '''Kitana''': Why do you shield my Revenant? '''Cetrion''': There is no virtue in vengeance. '''Kitana''': Not vengeance, euthanasia.
* '''Kitana''': Now what, Earthrealmer? '''Johnny Cage''': Johnny Cage. Is. 'The Edenian Candidate'. '''Kitana''': By the Gods, no.
* '''Johnny Cage''': My green magic, your green outfit. '''Jade''': (laughs) By the gods, no. '''Johnny Cage''': Your loss, sweetheart.
* '''Jax''': Here comes the ruckus. '''Frost''': I have the technological advantage. '''Jax''': Maybe, but you've got no soul.
* '''Frost''': We are siblings in cryomancy. '''Noob Saibot''': The dead are my only kin. '''Frost''': You disgrace us all.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no family? '''Skarlet''': Yes, I am an orphan, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Then who will mourn you?
* '''Jacqui''': You're always getting me in trouble. '''Cassie Cage''': You love trouble and you know it. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do, sister.
* '''Kabal''': Just how cold are you? '''Frost''': Chilled to the core. '''Kabal''': That is super hot.
* '''Jax''': [[W:Mortal Kombat (2011 video game)|Man, Scorpion toasted you.]] '''Noob Saibot''': Ermac ripped off your arms. '''Jax''': But I survived, you didn't.
* '''Jacqui''': So you're basically Lady Sub-Zero. '''Frost''': Our differences are deeper than gender. '''Jacqui''': Is there a wiki or something?
* '''Cetrion''': Is there room for love in your heart? '''Sub-Zero''': Love gets in the way. '''Cetrion''': Love leads the way, Kuai Liang.
* '''Frost''': Mine is a cold, cold world. '''Jacqui''': You'll be hotter when you die, Frost. '''Frost''': Think you can send me to the Netherrealm?
* '''Scorpion''': Still hoping to kill me? '''Frost''': All Shirai Ryu must die. '''Scorpion''': My fire will melt you, Frost.
* '''Kung Lao''': Smile and the realms smile with you. '''Baraka''': I'll smile when you swing from a meat hook. '''Kung Lao''': Not going to happen, Baraka.
* '''D'Vorah''': Jerrod was soft and weak-willed. '''Kitana''': You claim to know father? '''D'Vorah''': This One killed him for Shao Kahn.
* '''Kitana''': I was right, doubting the Elder Gods. '''Cetrion''': [[Star Wars (film)|Your lack of faith disturbs me]]. '''Kitana''': As does your obedience to Kronika.
* '''Kitana''': I've never liked guns. '''Erron Black''': Aww, they make you nervous, Princess? '''Kitana''': They are highly uncivilized.
* '''Baraka''': All of Tarkata reveres Jade. '''Kotal Kahn''': An honor richly deserved. '''Baraka''': You, on the other hand.
* '''Baraka''': Daughter of Earthrealm. '''Jacqui''': And proud of it, Buckteeth. '''Baraka''': These teeth will rend your flesh.
* '''Baraka''': What happened to your eye? '''Kano''': Special Forces bastard took it. '''Baraka''': I'll take the other one.
* '''Baraka''': We meet again. '''Sub-Zero''': It's a long way from the tournament. '''Baraka''': We can still fight. 
* '''Baraka''': Speak your joke to my face. '''Jacqui''': Grandmother, what big teeth you have! '''Baraka''': My Grandmother's were the biggest!
* '''Baraka''': Heir to the Great Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': The family legend precedes me. '''Baraka''': It ends with your death.
* '''Baraka''': I hate cold things. '''Frost''': I am no 'thing', beast. '''Baraka''': You are meat, Frost.
* '''Baraka''': You'll be a good practice dummy. '''Frost''': I am the future of pain, Baraka! '''Baraka''': More like future of scrap metal.
* '''D'Vorah''': A cold snack for the Swarm. '''Frost''': This frost bites back. '''D'Vorah''': Not with your jaw slacked from poison.
* '''Frost''': You should have been Grandmaster. '''Noob Saibot''': I would not allow female Lin Kuei. '''Frost''': You're worse than Kuai Liang!
* '''Kung Lao''': Double date with Liu Kang and Kitana? '''Jade''': In your dreams, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A simple 'no' would have sufficed.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You know nothing of cold. '''Frost''': You never conjured ice as cold as mine. '''Noob Saibot''': Death is the coldest ice.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You are a sinful monk. '''Kung Lao''': I'm no Liu Kang, but I'm hardly sinful. '''Noob Saibot''': Death will purge your pride.
* '''Noob Saibot''': One clan will rule the New Era. '''Frost''': That clan will be mine, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang would be a better Grandmaster.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang was a fool to trust you. '''Frost''': A fool to doubt me, like you. '''Noob Saibot''': I do not doubt your hubris.
* '''Frost''': [[Man on Fire (2004 film)|Revenge is]] [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|a dish best served cold]]. '''Cassie Cage''': Page five, Cliché Villains Handbook? '''Frost''': Snark won't save you, Cage.
* '''Frost''': Once cyberized, you will serve. '''Erron Black''': Serve? Or service? '''Frost''': Ugh, never mind.
* '''Kano''': Better get right with Kronika. '''Baraka''': (Fuck) you and Kronika! '''Kano''': Now that's a bonzer attitude.
* '''Liu Kang''': You learned nothing at the Wu Shi. '''Kung Lao''': I learned I'm better than the best. '''Liu Kang''': Have you been drinking with Bo 'Rai Cho?
* '''Liu Kang''': Master Li Bing saw your potential. '''Kung Lao''': Is that why he made life Hell? '''Liu Kang''': That was because you are lazy.
* '''Scorpion''': Beware your bond with Liu Kang. '''Kitana''': Relationship advice, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': Losing him will burn your soul.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Minus three degrees Celsius. '''Skarlet''': What is that? '''Sub-Zero''': The freezing point for blood.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you kill my family? '''Sub-Zero''': No, Quan Chi did. '''Scorpion''': But I saw a vision of YOU.
* '''Shang Tsung''': You are neither god nor Kahn. '''Kotal Kahn''': Then what am I, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': My next victim.
* '''Raiden''': You proved a poor student. '''Frost''': Sub-Zero had nothing to teach me. '''Raiden''': Your ignorance is stunning, Frost.
* '''Cetrion''': Do not betray Kronika. '''D'Vorah''': This One is her most dutiful servant. '''Cetrion''': As you were Mileena's?
* '''Cetrion''': Your poor, withering soul. '''Frost''': I have never been stronger, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': Of body, not of virtue.
* '''Cetrion''': What has Mother done this time? '''Cetrion (other player)''': Corrected a flawed first draft. '''Cetrion''': We are all flawed. I accept it.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Why should I pray to you? '''Cetrion''': Why does a bird flap its wings? '''Sub-Zero''': I asked a simple question.
* '''Sonya Blade''': In the future we carry tiny TVs with us? '''Cassie Cage''': Welcome to the Digital Age. '''Sonya Blade''': More like the Distracted Age.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Once upon a time I beat Shinnok. '''Shang Tsung''': My, you have a colorful imagination. '''Johnny Cage''': Look it up. I laid him out!
* '''Skarlet''': I need your warm, red blood. '''Sub-Zero''': My blood runs cold. '''Skarlet''': How refreshing!
* '''Jax''': This a friendly fight, Sub-Zero? '''Sub-Zero''': I prefer to see your full strength. '''Jax''': Stone cold. I like that.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Those blades will snap. '''Baraka''': Those who try get impaled. '''Sub-Zero''': They were not me, Baraka.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What's our sparring record? '''Jacqui''': We're tied, five and five. '''Cassie Cage''': So this is match point.
* '''Jacqui''': What's this about a blood ceremony? '''Scorpion''': Marry Takeda, you marry the Shirai Ryu. '''Jacqui''': Do we get matching rope spears?
* '''Baraka''': Mileena's blood was Tarkatan. '''Kitana''': She was created to spite me. '''Baraka''': Shao Kahn improved on the original.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What up, Empress Princess? '''Kitana''': Are Earthrealmers not taught etiquette? '''Cassie Cage''': Just got no patience for imperial bullshit.
* '''Frost''': I'd cut a deal, but I know better. '''Kano''': My aren't you the full quid. '''Frost''': You have no idea.
* '''Jacqui''': I hear Sub-Zero's no fan. '''Frost''': He's never respected my power. '''Jacqui''': Chip, meet shoulder.
* '''Scorpion''': You plan to marry my chujin? '''Jacqui''': Takeda got smart and put a ring on it. '''Scorpion''': First, prove you are worthy.
* '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero's mistake with you is obvious. '''Frost''': Share your wisdom, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': To be trained, you must be tamed.
* '''Jacqui''': Jin told me about you. '''Kung Lao''': My nephew must adore me. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do.
* '''Geras''': You are an Old West enthusiast. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Geras''': In 1881, Wyatt Earp shot me.
* '''Kollector''': You killed my brother. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Kollector''': Today, I collect vengeance.
* '''Shang Tsung''': In seven days, I can make you a man. '''Geras''': A mortal man who can be killed? '''Shang Tsung''': I see you quiver with anticipation.
* '''Frost''': What do you see when you look at me? '''Jacqui''': A cheap, second-gen knockoff. '''Frost''': I said look at me, not you.
* '''Skarlet''': The hot-blooded Johnny Cage. '''Johnny Cage''': Got a fever burning inside of me. '''Skarlet''': The only cure is killing you.
* '''Skarlet''': People do not appreciate us. '''Frost''': Are you suggesting we band together? '''Skarlet''': That I prove my worth by killing you.
* '''Jacqui''': That hat's old school. '''Kung Lao''': Never mess with a classic. '''Jacqui''': 'Classic' is a nice word for 'busted'.
* '''Erron Black''': Looking mighty fine, Miss Briggs. '''Jacqui''': Cut the cowboy shtick, not interested. '''Erron Black''': Straight to business. I like it.
* '''Frost''': You're smaller in person, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': And you're an even bigger brat. '''Frost''': Touched a nerve, didn't I?
* '''Shang Tsung''': I have a dress your size, you should wear it. '''Sonya Blade''': Are you out of your damn mind? '''Shang Tsung''': It was sewn by the finest designers in Outworld.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Such beauty in kombat is rare. '''Jacqui''': I'll turn you fifty shades of black and blue. '''Shang Tsung''': Rarer still for it to survive.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Your thoughts turn to Takahashi Takeda. '''Jacqui''': You stay the hell away from him. '''Shang Tsung''': Your soul will be mine, and then his.
* '''Scorpion''': I beheaded Quan Chi. '''Shang Tsung''': Thank you for sparing me the trouble. '''Scorpion''': You're next, Shang Tsung.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We've both got chips on our shoulders. '''Kung Lao''': I can knock yours off at ten meters. '''Cassie Cage''': I'll bet two to one you can't.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Allow me to introduce myself. '''Cassie Cage''': Cut the bullshit, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': Direct, just like your mother.
* '''Jax''': You are one ugly sonofabitch. '''Baraka''': Silence, Earthrealmer! '''Jax''': Those dulcet tones aren't much better.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a Revenant once more. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Sub-Zero''': Allow me to cool your anger.
* '''Kitana''': I am the last Edenian royal. '''Cassie Cage''': Maybe try democracy, Princess? '''Kitana''': You do not understand Outworld.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Vera's soul calls for you. '''Jacqui''': Keep Mama's name out of your mouth, Revenant. '''Noob Saibot''': Revenant? I am Wraith!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your mother's arms. '''Jacqui''': She's dead, asshole. '''Noob Saibot''': And her soul is mine.
* '''Jacqui''': Fought your Revenant a time or two. '''Jade''': And who was victorious, Jacqueline? '''Jacqui''': Me. Obviously.
* '''Geras''': For a cryomancer, you run hot. '''Frost''': My well of hate runs deep. '''Geras''': Deep enough for you to drown in it.
* '''Geras''': You cannot compete with me. '''Frost''': Competition is life, Geras. '''Geras''': It will be your death, Frost.
* '''Geras''': I have your father. '''Jacqui''': Give him back, you sonofabitch. '''Geras''': Comply, or you will both perish.
* '''Geras''': You cannot beat death as I can. '''Sub-Zero''': I have been resurrected before. '''Geras''': But not a thousand times.
* '''Geras''': You remind me of someone. '''Cassie Cage''': Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Helen of Troy? '''Geras''': Joan of Arc, the young martyr.
* '''Geras''': The Swarm dies today. '''D'Vorah''': Kronika still needs This One, you cog. '''Geras''': Your service is no longer required.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Sektor was a better Grandmaster. '''Sub-Zero''': He led through lies and fear. '''Shao Kahn''': They are the pillars of order.
* '''Shao Kahn''': It's too late to curry my favor. '''Baraka''': I want your head, not your favor. '''Shao Kahn''': You will have neither, Baraka.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You survived the Flesh Pits. '''Kotal Kahn''': Despite Shang Tsung's efforts, yes. '''Shao Kahn''': Yet again, he failed me.
* '''Baraka''': Tarkata demands respect, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': You'll get the back of my hand. '''Baraka''': We are done fearing you.
* '''Shao Kahn''': For twenty-five years, you've remained loyal. '''Kollector''': You are the one, true Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': {{W|Make America Great Again|Let us make Outworld great again}}.
* '''Baraka''': I despise ghosts. '''Noob Saibot''': Superstitious Tarkatan. '''Baraka''': Return to the Ten Hells!
* '''Baraka''': What shaman summoned you? '''Noob Saibot''': The dark one, Quan Chi. '''Baraka''': Be gone, demon.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Shadows do not bleed. '''Baraka''': You do and I smell it. '''Noob Saibot''': Wishful thinking, Baraka.
* '''Noob Saibot''': No true Lin Kuei could stomach you. '''Scorpion''': Does that include your brother? '''Noob Saibot''': What brother?
* '''Kollector''': We both collect, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': What is gold compared to souls? '''Kollector''': Gold buys people like you.
* '''D'Vorah''': What was it you said last time? '''Cassie Cage''': You're the bug, I'm the windshield. '''D'Vorah''': This One breaks windshields.
* '''Frost''': You are sub-human. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn surpass humans in every way. '''Frost''': Not me, D'Vorah.
* '''Kitana''': I vow to aid all Outworlders. '''D'Vorah''': Yet you disavow the Kytinn. '''Kitana''': Only you, D'Vorah.
* '''D'Vorah''': Where is your intended? '''Jacqui''': If I call, Takeda will come running. '''D'Vorah''': I suggest you do, Jacqueline Briggs.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You'll pay for Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': This One did Outworld a service. '''Shao Kahn''': And so shall I.
* '''Baraka''': There's soon to be a stabbing. '''D'Vorah''': And you will be the victim, Baraka. '''Baraka''': Shut up and die, bug!
* '''Jax''': So what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Nomadic peoples don't achieve greatness. '''Baraka''': We will never give up the old ways. '''Sub-Zero''': Then Tarkata is doomed to failure.
* '''Jax''': Gods, monsters? This shit's crazy. '''Kitana''': That's how I felt in Manhattan. '''Jax''': New York? Also crazy.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You really like Future Johnny better. '''Jacqui''': Name one person who doesn't. '''Johnny Cage''': Me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': So I was a good dad to Cass? '''Jacqui''': Once you finished all twelve steps. '''Johnny Cage''': Whoa! Hold the phone. Rehab?
* '''Shang Tsung''': Sonya's not here to save you, Jax. '''Jax''': She'll be sad she missed this smackdown. '''Shang Tsung''': She can grieve the death of her commander.
* '''Kung Lao''': Mine is the legacy of the Great Kung Lao. '''Cetrion''': His legacy was dying in defeat. '''Kung Lao''': He lives on in me, Cetrion.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''Jax''': Don't you be creeping on Jacqui. '''Shang Tsung''': I'll teach her what you never could.
* '''Erron Black''': Any chance we settle this peaceably? '''The Terminator''': No. '''Erron Black''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Hasta la vista]], [[W:hasta la vista, baby|baby.]]
* '''D'Vorah''': You threaten the Kytinn's survival. '''The Terminator''': Correct. '''D'Vorah''': Such intransigence will be your death.
* '''Sub-Zero''': The Lin Kuei will banish you. '''The Terminator''': Your clan cannot terminate me. '''Sub-Zero''': Wishful thinking, machine.
* '''D'Vorah''': Skynet and the Kytinn can coexist. '''The Terminator''': Insectoids are a greater threat than humans. '''D'Vorah''': Clever boy.
* '''Geras''': You cannot answer [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|the riddle of steel]]. '''The Terminator''': That information is not within my files. '''Geras''': Then be cast out from these realms.
* '''The Terminator''': Your mask. What's its purpose? '''Kabal''': Take it from me and I'll tell you. '''The Terminator''': All right.
* '''The Terminator''': Termination is inevitable. '''Raiden''': Only a fool is so confident of victory. '''The Terminator''': I only state facts.
* '''The Terminator''': Johnny Cage gave you a codename. '''Jade''': And just what did his lewd mind come up with? '''The Terminator''': [[True Lies|Doris]].
* '''Skarlet''': Your skin is living tissue? '''The Terminator''': Covering a metal endoskeleton. '''Skarlet''': As long as it bleeds.
* '''Kabal''': Are you sure about that? '''The Terminator''': Yes. Show me your speed. '''Kabal''': Alright then, [[w:Jingle All The Way|it's turbo time]].
* '''Scorpion''': My hellfire will incinerate your flesh. '''The Terminator''': I will not cease functioning. '''Scorpion''': It will also melt your endoskeleton.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will serve me, cyborg. '''The Terminator''': What is your mission? '''Shao Kahn''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|To crush my enemies and see them driven before me]].
* '''Geras''': We are both constructs, built to serve. '''The Terminator''': You are also a Terminator? '''Geras''': When my creator requires it.
* '''Sonya Blade''': I hear you're an automated killing machine. '''The Terminator''': Cyberdyne Systems. Model 101. '''Sonya Blade''': At least you're not a damned cyber ninja.
* '''Scorpion''': You are one of Sektor's creations. '''The Terminator''': No. Skynet built me. '''Scorpion''': Either way, you must die.
* '''Erron Black''': Now this will be a gun battle. '''The Terminator''': One that you can't win. '''Erron Black''': Big, but dumb as dirt.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a threat to Skynet. '''Erron Black''': I don't even know what the hell that is. '''The Terminator''': You will.
* '''The Terminator''': You'll take me to Sarah Connor? '''Johnny Cage''': Think of me as your [[Total Recall (1990 film)|Johnny cab]]. '''The Terminator''': [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|You lie]].
* '''Kung Lao''': You have met your match. '''The Terminator''': That statement is unsupported. '''Kung Lao''': Who knew machines could fool themselves?
* '''Jade''': Cyborgs do not scare me. '''The Terminator''': Why not? '''Jade''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|It's heart, not steel, which strengthens us]].
* '''Noob Saibot''': I could make you the perfect killer. '''The Terminator''': By improving my programming? '''Noob Saibot''': By teaching you to embrace darkness.
* '''Frost''': You'll help me fight the Lin Kuei? '''The Terminator''': Who is Lynne Quay? '''Frost''': Stupid machine.
* '''The Terminator''': Cosmetic damage will not stop me. '''Kabal''': So slicing your skin off is no biggie? '''The Terminator''': None.
* '''Raiden''': Your machine ancestors do not exist in this realm. '''The Terminator''': Then I have come to the incorrect past. '''Raiden''': You will bring no death or destruction here.
* '''Baraka''': You've never fought a Tarkatan. '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|If you bleed, I can kill you]]. '''Baraka''': Ha Ha! A delusional machine.
* '''Sonya Blade''': So you took off Quan Chi's head? '''Scorpion''': Yes, my future self did. '''Sonya Blade''': Lucky bastard.
* '''Baraka''': What did Cage teach you to call me? '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|An ugly motherfucker]]. '''Baraka''': I will eat him alive!
* '''The Terminator''': Your observation is incorrect. '''Jacqui''': You sure? That neck's pretty thick. '''The Terminator''': [[Kindergarten Cop|It is not a tumor]].
* '''Jacqui''': Is it true [[The Running Man (1987 film)|Sub-Zero's now 'plain zero']]? '''The Terminator''': My mission objective is complete. '''Jacqui''': Damn.
* '''D'Vorah''': Why does Shao Kahn value you? '''Sindel''': Why do you ask, creature? '''D'Vorah''': Because all others despise you.
* '''Sindel''': You betrayed Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Why care for that disgusting clone? '''Sindel''': She was as much my daughter as Kitana.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Your Empire picked the wrong fight. '''Sindel''': Nothing on Earthrealm can stop us. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sindel''': Pledge the Lin Kuei to me. '''Sub-Zero''': And stain my clan with dishonor? '''Sindel''': Comply or I'll help Frost depose you.
* '''Scorpion''': You are too dangerous to let live. '''Sindel''': People say much the same of you. '''Scorpion''': I could never betray my family.
* '''Shang Tsung''': We never could trust Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': For all I know, you helped him murder me. '''Shang Tsung''': When I kill people, they stay dead.
* '''Skarlet''': You hold the power of Edenia. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn wouldn't marry a weakling. '''Skarlet''': I'll bleed your power and make him mine!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your destiny is to serve the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': I would never submit to Quan Chi. '''Noob Saibot''': That is why he murdered you.
* '''Kung Lao''': What is so scary about you, besides the hair? '''Sindel''': Come closer and I'll show you. '''Kung Lao''': No time for love, crazy lady.
* '''Cetrion''': Your destiny is to balance the realms. '''Sindel''': And how will I accomplish that? '''Cetrion''': By dying.
* '''Frost''': I can train you in the assassin's art. '''Sindel''': Dear, I'm several millennia your senior. '''Frost''': Which hasn't made you wiser.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Ding, dong. The bitch is back. '''Sindel''': Who is this insufferable child? '''Cassie Cage''': Cassie the Shinnok Slayer.
* '''Raiden''': Kronika favors the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn and I will rule an eternal empire. '''Raiden''': As the minion of her son, Shinnok.
* '''Jacqui''': What do you expect from me? '''Sindel''': Flattery, service, worship. '''Jacqui''': And I thought Cass was a diva.
* '''Kano''': Well, well, I never knew. '''Sindel''': Knew what, you ugly rusting half-man? '''Kano''': Shao Kahn married such a wicked witch.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Johnny's mine, Sindel. '''Sindel''': The poor man must have no standards. '''Sonya Blade''': You could use a nip and tuck yourself, sister.
* '''Jax''': Fighting ladies? Not my thing. '''Sindel''': There are other ways to be physical. '''Jax''': Woman, I'm an officer, not some gigolo!
* '''Kabal''': Hate to bust up Shao Kahn's woman. '''Sindel''': I can break you with a scream. '''Kabal''': I'll break your sound barrier first.
* '''Sindel''': Those hook swords look like fun. '''Kabal''': The hell kinda fun you talkin' about? '''Sindel''': Dissecting Earthrealmers, of course.
* '''Sindel''': Submission is your only choice. '''Jax''': And if I don't bend a knee? '''Sindel''': My boot-heel goes through your neck.
* '''Sindel''': Once more we fight, Nightwolf. '''Nightwolf''': It ends the same, Sindel. '''Sindel''': For you, perhaps.
* '''Sindel''': Is Johnny Cage a competent lover? '''Sonya Blade''': That's none of your goddamned business. '''Sindel''': Perhaps he'll serve as my consort.
* '''Sindel''': Impudent girls get bloody bottoms. '''Cassie Cage''': Do not wanna know what you're talking about. '''Sindel''': You'll be spanked until you bleed.
* '''Sindel''': I asked to fight the greatest warrior. '''Kung Lao''': And he has appeared before you. '''Sindel''': Hm. At least you have spunk.
* '''Sindel''': Come back to your family. '''Kitana''': I'm not your 'daughter' any more. '''Sindel''': Don't deny your heritage, daughter!
* '''Sindel''': Beg for my forgiveness, traitor. '''Jade''': You no longer hold sway, Sindel. '''Sindel''': Once the Empress, always the Empress.
* '''Sindel''': You stole from the throne, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I was owed deferred compensation. '''Sindel''': Never trust a Naknadan.
* '''Sindel''': I will give you what Kronika refuses. '''Geras''': What could that possibly be? '''Sindel''': Death's sweet embrace.
* '''Sindel''': Come to me, you handsome commoner. '''Johnny Cage''': You wanna carve my face on a mountain? '''Sindel''': More like carve it to pieces.
* '''Sindel''': Submit and I'll spare your father. '''Jacqui''': Your hair grows like Pinocchio's nose when you lie? '''Sindel''': It grows whenever I kill someone.
* '''Sindel''': I laugh at you, Elder God. '''Cetrion''': I will balance Outworld. '''Sindel''': Not on my back, Cetrion.
* '''Sindel''': Trusting Kronika is foolish. '''Frost''': Not after enhancements like mine. '''Sindel''': I'll reduce them to scrap.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One can protect you from Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': You'll betray me to him, bug. '''D'Vorah''': Kotal was more easily deceived.
* '''Sindel''': You're like the daughter I never had. '''Frost''': And you're like the mother I killed. '''Sindel''': An attribute she and I won't share.
* '''Jacqui''': My name is Jacqueline Briggs. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I killed your father. '''Jacqui''': [[The Princess Bride (film)|Prepare to die.]]
* '''Sindel''': What have you seen of my history? '''Geras''': Betrayal, cruelty, corruption. '''Sindel''': A survivor's legacy, Geras.
* '''Sindel''': Earthrealmer! You will die. '''Erron Black''': Damn! That voice is sexy. '''Sindel''': Want me to scream for you?
* '''Sindel''': You are an orphaned bastard. '''Liu Kang''': Thank you for reminding me. '''Sindel''': Be gone from my presence!
* '''Sindel''': Go back to your realm, machine! '''The Terminator''': I have no way to return. '''Sindel''': Then you will die here.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Tell me something only Sindel would know. '''Sindel''': Quan Chi murdered me, right under your nose! '''Shao Kahn''': You lie, impostor.
* '''Sindel''': Quan Chi deceived you, you pathetic fool! '''Shao Kahn''': Impossible! Shao Kahn is no one's fool! '''Sindel''': You sad, embarrassing wreck of a man.
* '''Sindel''': You cannot take my throne! '''Sindel (other player)''': Your throne, your husband, everything! '''Sindel''': You'll have none of it, pretender!
* '''Sindel''': Have you ever been dominated? '''Raiden''': Are you offering, Sindel? '''Sindel''': Submit. You may enjoy it.
* '''Raiden''': So now you defend Earthrealm? '''Scorpion''': I have made a solemn vow. '''Raiden''': You will be held to it, Scorpion.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Grandma Carlton told you my secret? '''Cassie Cage''': &quot;Johnny Pee-Pants&quot;? '''Johnny Cage''': I had one accident. One!
* '''Jax''': So, what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Master Boyd sends his regards. '''Johnny Cage''': You killed him, didn't you? '''Shang Tsung''': Your 'sensei' was helpless against me.
* '''Kabal''': Stealing my soul won't make you faster. '''Shang Tsung''': Actually, that is precisely how it works. '''Kabal''': Eh, shit.
* '''The Terminator''': I have no files on you. '''Joker''': No one does. That's the beauty of it! '''The Terminator''': Unknowns must be terminated.
* '''Joker''': You sonnuvabitch, you stole my face! '''Shang Tsung''': I could steal a lot more, Clown. '''Joker''': Never rub another man's rhubarb.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Why have you returned, Joker? '''Joker''': My fan boys were begging for a sequel. '''Shang Tsung''': Too bad your story ends here.
* '''Joker''': Outworld needs a Clown Prince. '''Shao Kahn''': Your entrails will feed my war dogs. '''Joker''': See, I'd fit right in!
* '''Shao Kahn''': How will you survive this encounter? '''Joker''': No one lands a punchline better. '''Shao Kahn''': Entertain me, jester.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You have a death wish, fool? '''Joker''': I'm not known for making great life choices. '''Shao Kahn''': This one will be your last.
* '''Joker''': The bigger you are, the harder you'll fall. '''Shao Kahn''': The harder I'll punish, Joker. '''Joker''': Who said you could re-write me?!
* '''Joker''': Ooo! A new groupie. '''Frost''': I'm here to kill you, not kiss you. '''Joker''': You really are a fan!
* '''Frost''': Your next stop is a slab. '''Joker''': Why give me the cold shoulder? '''Frost''': You exist, Joker.
* '''Frost''': So you're the infamous Joker. '''Joker''': The man, the myth, the legend. '''Frost''': All three die today.
* '''Joker''': There's a gal I know you would love. '''Frost''': Is she a great cryomancer? '''Joker''': She's killer, Frost.
* '''Nightwolf''': You are far from home. '''Joker''': Is it that obvious I'm a tourist? '''Nightwolf''': And that you're a danger to all.
* '''Joker''': Manitou Raven, is that you? '''Nightwolf''': The name is Nightwolf. '''Joker''': Are you some kind of Apache chief?
* '''Nightwolf''': Your grin is unnerving. '''Joker''': That's the nicest thing I've ever been told. '''Nightwolf''': It's the last thing you'll ever hear.
* '''Joker''': I like face paint, you like war paint. '''Nightwolf''': What's your point, Joker? '''Joker''': That we could be super friends!
* '''Joker''': You're the biggest star here? '''Johnny Cage''': Or the brightest, baddest. You get the idea. '''Joker''': Let's try the 'deadest'.
* '''Joker''': Tell your producers I'll star in your next film. '''Johnny Cage''': A killer clown? Cliché city. '''Joker''': Just wait 'til they get a load of me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Time for a company move back to your universe. '''Joker''': Worried that I'll steal the show? '''Johnny Cage''': That you'll dice me into bite-sized pieces./That you'll serve me with [[The Silence of the Lambs (film)|chianti and fava beans]].
* '''Johnny Cage''': Is there a point to your evil? '''Joker''': No. Should there be? '''Johnny Cage''': I do not want to know [[Joker (2019 film)|your origin story]].
* '''Joker''': [[The Dark Knight (film)|Why so serious]], Army Girl? '''Sonya Blade''': Fought a lot of bad guys, but none like you. '''Joker''': You've saved the best for last.
* '''Joker''': You'd be prettier if you smiled. '''Sonya Blade''': You die, I smile. '''Joker''': Oh, I like you.
* '''Sonya Blade''': There a reason you've come back? '''Joker''': Don't worry. The punchline's coming soon. '''Sonya Blade''': Over my dead body, clown.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Had enough of you the first time. '''Joker''': Aww, don't like losing in graveyards? '''Sonya Blade''': Not to some face-painted freak.
* '''Joker''': We didn't meet the last time I was here. '''Cassie Cage''': This isn't your first visit? '''Joker''': Nobody told you? I was all the rage.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I've seen better cosplay on Hollywood Boulevard. '''Joker''': What's wrong with my sartorial flare!? '''Cassie Cage''': Step one: admit you have a problem.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you just as cute as a button. '''Cassie Cage''': And aren't you just as creepy as fuck. '''Joker''': Flattery will get you nowhere, deary.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Mom told me all about you, Joker. '''Joker''': Ooh! She must've been all smiles. '''Cassie Cage''': At the thought of me killing you, yes.
* '''Joker''': Pick quickly! Sonya or your little girl? '''Jax''': What the hell have you done, Joker?! '''Joker''': Oh this joke's gonna kill.
* '''Jax''': Dead or alive, you're coming with me. '''Joker''': Whatever you say, (officer/[[RoboCop]])! '''Jax''': Gonna smack that grin right off him.
* '''Jax''': I'll never forgive you, Joker. '''Joker''': Which of my crimes has your panties twisted? '''Jax''': Making Kano seem like less of a monster.
* '''Joker''': A lifetime of sacrifice, and for what? '''Jax''': The pride of serving my family and country. '''Joker''': You sound like that big, blue boy scout.
* '''Scorpion''': Hellfire awaits, Joker. '''Joker''': As it should for the master of sick burns! '''Scorpion''': Your lunacy must die.
* '''Scorpion''': You, I remember all too well. '''Joker''': Aww, the back of your head still hurting? '''Scorpion''': I should've burned you right then and there.
* '''Joker''': Fancy meeting you here, Scorpy! '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero knew how to find you. '''Joker''': And how is your new cuddle buddy?
* '''Sub-Zero''': I will consign you to the coldest hell. '''Joker''': Ooh! Let me put on my snowsuit! '''Sub-Zero''': Prepare for your soul to freeze.
* '''Joker''': Your girl Frost is quite the filly. '''Sub-Zero''': She became dead to me long ago. '''Joker''': Soon she'll be dead to me, too.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are as soulless as a Cyber Lin-Kuei. '''Joker''': But they lack my gift for witty banter. '''Sub-Zero''': The realms will sleep well with you silenced.
* '''Joker''': Grandmaster Blueberry Ice, eh? '''Sub-Zero''': Only Johnny Cage may use that name and live. '''Joker''': You're hardly intimidating, snow cone.
* '''Joker''': What's with the uber-goth cosplay. '''Noob Saibot''': I am death personified. '''Joker''': You look like death warmed over.
* '''Joker''': Care to compare body counts? '''Noob Saibot''': Yours cannot possibly exceed mine. '''Joker''': Oh my dear boy, Look me up.
* '''Noob Saibot''': The Brotherhood of Shadow is not interested. '''Joker''': Trust me, you could use some comic relief. '''Noob Saibot''': You are beneath us, Joker.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no soul. '''Joker''': I have two, one on each shoe! '''Noob Saibot''': Your 'humor' will die with you.
* '''Joker''': My congratulations to the bride. '''Jacqui''': You know about me and Takeda? '''Joker''': Pain makes your fiancée very chatty.
* '''Jacqui''': Just who are you under the make up? '''Joker''': That's the million dollar question, dearie. '''Jacqui''': How about I shoot it off, and we'll see.
* '''Jacqui''': Dad gave everything, fighting guys like you. '''Joker''': And how did that work out for him? '''Jacqui''': His pain is no joke.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you a vixen. '''Jacqui''': I'm off limits, Joker. '''Joker''': As if I respect boundaries.
* '''Joker''': Those blades, those teeth! '''Baraka''': Realizing the ways I can kill you? '''Joker''': The bucks I'll make selling them in Gotham.
* '''Baraka''': Now I remember you. '''Joker''': It's awfully hard to forget this face. '''Baraka''': I plan to wear it.
* '''Baraka''': What are you supposed to be? '''Joker''': Some call me the Harlequin of Hate. '''Baraka''': You'll make a good snack.
* '''The Joker''': I'm sorry, are you slobbering? '''Baraka''': Because I'm about to taste human flesh. '''The Joker''': Ha ha! The joke's on you.
* '''Joker''': I thought lightning never strikes twice. '''Raiden''': In your case, I will make an exception. '''Joker''': Promise?
* '''Raiden''': I will banish you to Chaosrealm? '''Joker''': Chaos? Now you're talking! '''Raiden''': Be gone, jester!
* '''Raiden''': Your humor eludes me. '''Joker''': I imagine most things do, Blunder God. '''Raiden''': You will be silent!
* '''Joker''': Say hello to your new Chosen One! '''Raiden''': I choose to finish you, Joker. '''Joker''': Well you don't have to be rude!
* '''Joker''': D'Vorah, the entomologist's dream. '''D'Vorah''': No human will study This One, Joker. '''Joker''': You'll look spiffy, pinned to a wall.
* '''Jade''': I've never met someone so horrid. '''Joker''': Oh sweetie, it was just a joke. '''Jade''': You killed millions of people!
* '''Sindel''': You may have the privilege of serving me. '''Joker''': (laughs maniacally) '''Sindel''': Did I say something funny?
* '''Sindel''': What a foul miscreant. '''Joker''': Butter me up, why don't you. '''Sindel''': I'll roast your head on a spit.
* '''Joker''': I love your flair for the dramatic. '''Sindel''': Speak again, knave, and I'll punish you. '''Joker''': Please do.
* '''Joker''': To what do I owe this privilege? '''Sindel''': That sick joke targeting me and Shao Kahn. '''Joker''': You have to admit it was funny.
* '''Spawn''': Together we can purge the Ten Hells. '''Scorpion''': Only if you follow my lead. '''Spawn''': All due respect, that's not in the cards.
* '''Spawn''': You've been to other dimensions? '''Scorpion''': Each has had its own [[Injustice: Gods Among US|injustices]]. '''Spawn''': Maybe that's why my [[Soulcalibur II|soul still burns]].
* '''Jax''': Nobody questions my loyalty. '''Spawn''': There's a snake in every operation. '''Jax''': [[wikipedia:Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'|You wanna be startin' somethin'?]] (Michael Jackson reference)
* '''Spawn''': I've toppled dictators before. '''Sindel''': You mean to kill Shao Kahn. '''Spawn''': No, he's a puppet. You pull the strings.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One likes you, for a Warm Blood. '''Spawn''': Careful, my blood burns. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn prefer spicy flavors.
* '''Spawn''': No more jokes, no more laughs. '''Joker''': Sounds like you've got a case of the grumps! '''Spawn''': I fucking hate clowns.
* '''Spawn''': Kiss Jade goodbye. '''Kotal Kahn''': Not while I draw breath. '''Spawn''': Draw your last.
* '''Spawn''': A man who can never die. '''Geras''': Against a man who can never live. '''Spawn''': Aren't we a pair?
* '''Jacqui''': I don't trust folks who deal with devils. '''Spawn''': I've killed all my devils. '''Jacqui''': Not sure that's any better.
* '''Baraka''': Your meat smells burned. '''Spawn''': Try deep-fried in Hellfire. '''Baraka''': Eh, that passes for edible.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is the Beijing opera in town? '''Spawn''': I'm here to stop Shinnok's revival. '''Kung Lao''': Seems more like you're about to start one.
* '''Spawn''': Imagine Outworld free of slaves. '''Shao Kahn''': Over my dead body. '''Spawn''': Today's the day, skull-fucker.
* '''Spawn''': You have a serious Netherrealm problem. '''Kung Lao''': We don't need help from freelance demons. '''Spawn''': That's exactly what you need!
* '''The Terminator''': Your guns and your cape. [[The Terminator|Give them to me]]. '''Spawn''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|You forgot to say please.]] '''The Terminator''': It was not a request.
* '''The Terminator''': What model are you? '''RoboCop''': I'm a cop, Terminator. '''The Terminator''': I am not subject to human law.
* '''RoboCop''': Haven't we done this before? '''The Terminator''': I have no record of a previous encounter. '''RoboCop''': We have met. I am sure of it.
* '''RoboCop''': Machines are either a benefit or hazard. '''The Terminator''': Which am I? '''RoboCop''': Were you a benefit, you wouldn't be my problem.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a machine. '''RoboCop''': I identify as human. '''The Terminator''': Then you choose termination.
* '''RoboCop''': Why did you contact me? '''Shang Tsung''': To see if I could enlist your services. '''RoboCop''': I cannot aid or abet criminal actions.
* '''Shang Tsung''': What is this supposed to be? '''RoboCop''': I'm taking you in, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': You're not from around here, are you?
* '''RoboCop''': Freeze! Put your hands up. '''Shang Tsung''': I sense this is no amicable visit. '''RoboCop''': You are under arrest, Shang Tsung.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''RoboCop''': It's my duty, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': My actions are not your concern. '''RoboCop''': Even you must obey the law. '''Shao Kahn''': I am the law, fool!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You are a peace officer? '''RoboCop''': I am sworn to protect and serve. '''Shao Kahn''': Such wasted potential.
* '''RoboCop''': Turn over the Kollector. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha ha! Over my dead body. '''RoboCop''': Lethal force protocol engaged.
* '''RoboCop''': I do not usually confront dictators. '''Shao Kahn''': You should be bowing and scraping. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''RoboCop''': You could have saved yourself this trouble. '''Frost''': I have no regrets. '''RoboCop''': Someday, you will.
* '''Frost''': That armor won't save you. '''RoboCop''': I am built to tolerate extreme cold. '''Frost''': Extreme cold, but not Frost cold.
* '''Frost''': I obey no law but mine. '''RoboCop''': If everyone did that, there would be anarchy. '''Frost''': Exactly.
* '''RoboCop''': Frost. You've broken too many laws to count. '''Frost''': I do what I want, when I want. '''RoboCop''': Are you ready to face the consequences?
* '''Nightwolf''': The Great Spirit asked me to help you. '''RoboCop''': How can you help me, Nightwolf? '''Nightwolf''': By training you in the ways of kombat.
* '''Nightwolf''': I'm not surprised Kano eludes you. '''RoboCop''': Because I'm an inferior officer? '''Nightwolf''': Because he's a superior devil.
* '''RoboCop''': You were once a petty criminal. '''Nightwolf''': Who paid, long ago, for his crimes. '''RoboCop''': Have you been reformed?
* '''RoboCop''': Kano has also broken your people's laws? '''Nightwolf''': Too many times, he has defiled the Matoka. '''RoboCop''': He must be held to account.
* '''RoboCop''': You're done making trouble. '''The Joker''': You'll have to catch me first, officer. '''RoboCop''': Dead or alive, you are coming with me.
* '''RoboCop''': Come quietly, Joker. '''The Joker''': Or what, Dodo Cop? '''RoboCop''': There will be trouble.
* '''The Joker''': Just think of this as a game. '''RoboCop''': You're here to play? '''The Joker''': I'm cashing you out.
* '''The Joker''': A new toy! Can I play? '''RoboCop''': You're under arrest, Joker. '''The Joker''': Oh, goody! Cops and robbers.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You ever consider doing movies? '''RoboCop''': Are you serious? '''Johnny Cage''': Absolutely. Can you sing?
* '''Johnny Cage''': Part man. Part machine. All cop. '''RoboCop''': That is correct. '''Johnny Cage''': Please tell me no one's signed you.
* '''RoboCop''': How can I help you, Cage? '''Johnny Cage''': Research! I'm a robot cop in my next blockbuster. '''RoboCop''': What do you want to know?
* '''RoboCop''': Your police films are unrealistic. '''Johnny Cage''': Fans don't want real, they want BOOM! '''RoboCop''': It's a disservice to the public.
* '''Sonya Blade''': You're hiding things from us. '''RoboCop''': Some of my directives are classified. '''Sonya Blade''': Allies don't keep secrets.
* '''RoboCop''': Planning on taking me down? '''Sonya Blade''': Pushing you to be all you can be. '''RoboCop''': Thank you for the assistance.
* '''RoboCop''': Kano is coming with me. '''Sonya Blade''': Can it, Tinhead. '''RoboCop''': Let's keep this professional, Lieutenant.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Surrender Kano to the Special Forces. '''RoboCop''': He's my prisoner, Lieutenant. '''Sonya Blade''': Gonna wish you hadn't said that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': There something wrong, Murphy? '''RoboCop''': My targeting system is a little messed up. '''Cassie Cage''': We can get that fixed.
* '''RoboCop''': You are Johnny Cage's daughter? '''Cassie Cage''': Ha! Shocked I'm not some Beverly Hills brat? '''RoboCop''': Yes.
* '''RoboCop''': Aren't you young to be commander? '''Cassie Cage''': I've got game, old-timer. Just try me. '''RoboCop''': Your call.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I hear you have some new tricks. '''RoboCop''': Your Special Forces has given me upgrades. '''Cassie Cage''': Show me what you've got!
* '''RoboCop''': Your arms need an upgrade? '''Jax''': Think OCP can help me out? '''RoboCop''': You do not want them to own you.
* '''RoboCop''': I have been told about a cop here named Stryker. '''Jax''': He wasn't just a cop. He was Super Cop. '''RoboCop''': It's too bad I cannot meet him.
* '''Jax''': So you're after Kano, too? '''RoboCop''': He's wanted for many crimes on my Earth. '''Jax''': Damn, that guy gets around.
* '''Jax''': You got any original parts left? '''RoboCop''': Just what's under the helmet. '''Jax''': And I thought losing my arms was bad.
* '''Spawn''': So your ass got resurrected, too. '''RoboCop''': For the company's benefit, not mine. '''Spawn''': It's a special kind of hell, isn't it?
* '''Spawn''': There still a man under all that shit? '''RoboCop''': Bad language makes for bad feelings. '''Spawn''': Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.
* '''RoboCop''': How is it you know me? '''Spawn''': I know all damned souls, Murphy. '''RoboCop''': Malebolgia won't have mine.
* '''RoboCop''': Cease and desist, Spawn. '''Spawn''': Vigilantes get you all worked up? '''RoboCop''': All must obey the law.
* '''Scorpion''': Your wife and son? '''RoboCop''': They are lost to me now. '''Scorpion''': The same pain sears both our hearts.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you avenge your murder? '''RoboCop''': My killers are dead, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': That is true justice.
* '''RoboCop''': Allow me to search the Fire Gardens. '''Scorpion''': You will not find Kano among the Shirai Ryu. '''RoboCop''': I must be certain.
* '''RoboCop''': We do not have to do this. '''Scorpion''': All cyborgs are abominations. '''RoboCop''': You have no proof for that charge.
* '''RoboCop''': What crimes have you planned? '''Noob Saibot''': Judging me by my appearance? '''RoboCop''': By your history, Bi-Han.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your fate is sealed by a curse. '''RoboCop''': What do you mean? '''Noob Saibot''': Doomed is your soul, damned is your life.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have crossed my line of death. '''RoboCop''': It is not game over yet. '''Noob Saibot''': All that's left is your demise.
* '''RoboCop''': I have faced death before. '''Noob Saibot''': Your creators won't restore you this time. '''RoboCop''':  They'll fix me. They fix everything.
* '''RoboCop''': How are Tarkatan laws enforced? '''Baraka''' With gnashing teeth and sharpened blades. '''RoboCop''': I would not call that justice.
* '''RoboCop''': A monster like you should be locked up. '''Baraka''': You won't be the one to do it. '''RoboCop''': You are coming with me.
* '''Baraka''': What in the Ten Hells are you? '''RoboCop''': The future of law enforcement. '''Baraka''': Ha! You'll soon be a scrap heap.
* '''Baraka''': My blades will shred your metal. '''RoboCop''': Assaulting an officer is a felony. '''Baraka''': You won't live to report my 'crime'.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Did your creators extinguish your soul? '''RoboCop''': Despite their best efforts, no? '''Sub-Zero''': You may yet still be worthy of the Lin Kuei.
* '''RoboCop''': I need help to catch Kano. '''Raiden''': First, prove yourself worthy of the Order of Light. '''RoboCop''': If I must.
* '''RoboCop''': You would like to test my abilities? '''Raiden''': To determine the goodness of your soul. '''RoboCop'''': Through kombat?
* '''Raiden''': What brings you to Earthrealm, officer? '''RoboCop''': I am pursuing a fugitive named Kano. '''Raiden''': Do not let your search disturb our peace.
* '''Raiden''': Join us against Kronika. '''RoboCop''': I have my own home to protect and serve. '''Raiden''': You disappoint me, Alex Murphy.
* '''Kitana''': Your pursuit of Kano ends at our border. '''RoboCop''': I have to go where the trail leads me. '''Kitana''': Outworld won't recognize your authority.
* '''Kano''': You supposed to be Super Cop?. '''RoboCop''': I'm Officer Alex Murphy. '''Kano''': You're a dead man, you yobbo.
* '''Skarlet''': You're making assumptions about me, officer. '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Skarlet''': I'm not evil, just hungry.
* '''Skarlet''': I cannot smell your blood. '''RoboCop''': There is little left of me that's organic. '''Skarlet''': Then killing you won't cure my hunger.
* '''Sindel''': Why patrol the streets, when you can serve me? '''RoboCop''': That is not a privilege I need. '''Sindel''': My dear officer, you don't have a choice.
* '''RoboCop''': I know all about you. '''Sindel''': Then bow to me with the required reverence. '''RoboCop''': I am taking you in, Sindel.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I am not bound by your laws. '''RoboCop''': You have twenty seconds to comply.
* '''RoboCop''': The answer is no, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': What virtue is there in resistance? '''RoboCop''': I cannot function outside of my prime directives.
* '''Sheeva''': Abandon Malebolgia and serve me. '''Spawn''': You always get what you want? '''Sheeva''': I can be very persuasive.
* '''Sheeva''': Kintaro? Goro? Do they live? '''Sheeva (other player)''': They are both dead, in my timeline. '''Sheeva''': I knew they were the weaker links.
* '''Mileena''': Mother wants us to live as sisters. '''Kitana''': Further proof that she's lost her mind. '''Mileena''': Come. Let us be a family.
* '''Kitana''': Begone, Mileena! '''Mileena''': You would banish me, sister? '''Kitana''': No. I will finish you.
* '''Kitana''': Stay away from Liu Kang. '''Mileena''': Afraid your new lover will prefer me? '''Kitana''': That you'll eat him, Mileena.
* '''Rambo''': Don't start a war you can't win. '''Mileena''': Speaking from experience? '''Rambo''': Yeah.
* '''Rambo''': I've heard you're a freak. '''Mileena''': By whom?! I'll eat them alive! '''Rambo''': Guess I heard right.
* '''Mileena''': You turned down my father. '''Rambo''': That's because I'm no aggressor. '''Mileena''': Either conquer, or be conquered.
* '''Mileena''': You're a dangerous man. '''Rambo''': Only when people push me. '''Mileena''': As you wish.
* '''Spawn''': I'll give you a bad case of indigestion. '''Mileena''': I'll risk it, to have a bite. '''Spawn''': Do it -- you'll pay for it.
* '''Spawn''': Out of my way, lady. '''Mileena''': Only if you best me in kombat. '''Spawn''': Bring it.
* '''Mileena''': You object to Shao Kahn? '''Spawn''': Half the Empire lives in slavery. '''Mileena''': Eventually, all will serve him.
* '''Mileena''': What did you do to my father?! '''Spawn''': I sent him to oblivion. '''Mileena''': You will join him, Hellspawn!
* '''Mileena''': You Shaolin are so arrogant. '''Kung Lao''': Actually Mileena, that is just me. '''Mileena''': I will enjoy devouring your ego.
* '''Kung Lao''': You do know that everyone prefers Kitana to you. '''Mileena''': Not my father, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A man not known for his intelligence.
* '''Kung Lao''': Skarlet, D'Vorah, you. I can't choose. '''Mileena''': Choose what, human? '''Kung Lao''': Who is the creepiest woman of Outworld.
* '''The Terminator''': According to my files, you are unique. '''Mileena''': Your files are correct. '''The Terminator''': Then your death is also extinction.
* '''Jax''': We have Shang Tsung to thank for you? '''Mileena''': Who else but the great sorcerer? '''Jax''': Reason number 5000 that man is on my shit list.
* '''Jade''': The unholy abomination. '''Mileena''': Greets the bootlicking sycophant. '''Jade''': For Kitana Kahn, you will die.
* '''Fujin''': Shao Kahn will not retake the throne. '''Mileena''': My father is inevitable, Fujin. '''Fujin''': Under the weight of my wind, he will snap.
* '''Erron Black''': Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad? '''Mileena''': When I gained the throne, you abandoned it. '''Erron Black''': Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.
* '''Mileena''': A coin for your thoughts, Erron? '''Erron Black''': Just trying to reckon why the hell you're back. '''Mileena''': A million souls cried out for my return.
* '''Cetrion''': Your dual nature is Kronika's gift. '''Mileena''': But it was Shang Tsung who created me. '''Cetrion''': Whom do you think inspired him?
* '''Jacqui''': Didn't lose a wink after watching you die. '''Mileena''': Nor will I, after eviscerating your corpse. '''Jacqui''': And that right there is why.
* '''Cetrion''': I see the fire in your eyes, Mileena. '''Mileena''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Kronika altered our deal!]] '''Cetrion''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Pray she does not alter it further.]]
* '''Mileena''': You weren't helping me, you were using me! '''Rain''': And you were a most useful idiot. '''Mileena''': (snarling)
* '''Rain''': Direct your anger at Tanya, Mileena. '''Mileena''': It was you who betrayed me, not her! '''Rain''': Think, Mileena. Who introduced us?
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not poke the Hive, Mileena. '''Mileena''': I will wipe it from the face of Outworld. '''D'Vorah''': The Kytinn are many, you are one.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One is displeased by your presence. '''Mileena''': Then you'll be happy I'm ending your life. '''D'Vorah''': It is you who dies today, Mileena.
* '''Kabal''': Bullshit you can imitate Kitana, not with that mouth. '''Mileena''': (imitating Kitana) Now do you believe, Kabal? '''Kabal''': How in the hell is that possible?
* '''Mileena''': We both despise D'Vorah. '''Johnny Cage''': Doesn't mean we'll make a buddy picture. '''Mileena''': Just think of the possibilities.
* '''Mileena''': I want the Hourglass. '''Geras''': It is beyond your feeble mind to control it. '''Mileena''': Ha! What little you know, construct.
* '''Liu Kang''': You are more like Sindel than Kitana. '''Mileena''': You flatter me, Shaolin. '''Liu Kang''': No, Mileena. Not at all.
* '''Liu Kang''': Serving Shao Kahn is folly. '''Mileena''': One day I will inherit his empire. '''Liu Kang''': It is doomed to collapse, Mileena.
* '''RoboCop''': I never anticipated this fight. '''Mileena''': Do I make you nervous? '''RoboCop''': No.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Mileena''': I'll turn myself in. Trust me. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''Mileena''': What caused you to track me down? '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Mileena''': It is my sister you seek, not me.
* '''Kano''': Well color me gobsmacked. You and Tanya? '''Mileena''': Name your price, Kano. I must avenge her. '''Kano''': Because it's personal, it's gonna cost extra.
* '''Sindel''': Daughter, welcome! '''Mileena''': You accept me as Kitana's sister? '''Sindel''': As her replacement, should you pass this test.
* '''Sindel''': You disappoint me, Mileena. '''Mileena''': How have I offended you, mother? '''Sindel''': The Shaolin monk still lives.
* '''Scorpion''': You choose enemies poorly. '''Mileena''': You're right, this will be too easy. '''Scorpion''': Burn in hellfire, Mileena.
* '''Scorpion''': Clones are worse than Cyber Lin Kuei. '''Mileena''': Why so vehement, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': You are a perversion of nature.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Mileena. '''Mileena''': Osh-Tekk Usurper! '''Kotal Kahn''': Outworld's deliverer.
* '''Mileena''': Pledge fealty to Shao Kahn's daughter. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch. '''Mileena''': On your knees, Earthrealmer!
* '''Sonya Blade''': Shao Kahn can't be far behind you. '''Mileena''': And there's nothing in your arsenal that can stop him. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sheeva''': You and your mother are queens of deception. '''Mileena''': Lies are the ultimate weapon. '''Sheeva''': Your war on truth will be defeated!
* '''Skarlet''': I can smell your half-breed blood. '''Mileena''': The mixture is unappealing? '''Skarlet''': No, Mileena. It is tantalizing.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So technically, you're Kitana's sister? '''Mileena''': At least until I end her life. '''Cassie Cage''': Thank God I'm an only child.
* '''Mileena''': You aided Kotal Kahn against me. '''Cassie Cage''': Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast. '''Mileena''': For that, I will devour your flesh!
* '''Frost''': How did you become Kahn? '''Mileena''': I was my father's rightful heir! '''Frost''': But too weak to hold the throne.
* '''Mileena''': But for you, Tanya would be alive. '''Rain''': I am not to blame for your failed rebellion. '''Mileena''': It was your plan, Rain!
* '''Mileena''': My sister is now Kahn?! '''Jade''': And she rules Outworld justly and with grace. '''Mileena''': How dare she destroy my empire!
* '''Frost''': What's on your dirty mind? '''Rain''': I need someone cool to rule my world. (Prince reference) '''Frost''': That's some fantasy, but it's not mine.
* '''Rain''': You must miss being Kahnum. '''Mileena''': I enjoyed its glamorous life. (Prince reference) '''Rain''': A pity you won't have it again.
* '''Jax''': We've got you surrounded, Rain. '''Rain''': Then shall we begin the party? '''Jax''': Party's over. You're out of time. (Prince reference)
* '''The Joker''': We meet again, sweet prince! '''Rain''': This time we battle to the last. '''The Joker''': (laughs) Let's go crazy! (Prince reference)
* '''Cetrion''': Argus has made mistakes. '''Rain''': The first was denying that I'm his son! '''Cetrion''': His first was fathering you.
* '''Kung Lao''': You cannot defeat me. '''Rain''': I will rain death upon you, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': Good thing I brought a hat.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is it true Edenians worship you? '''Rain''': Those that do, are blessed with my faith. '''Kung Lao''': Their faith is misplaced.
* '''Liu Kang''': It is time we settle this, Rain. '''Rain''': Persist, and risk a god's wrath. '''Liu Kang''': Note how I tremble in fear.
* '''Fujin''': I knew your father, Rain. '''Rain''': Then acknowledge my godhood. '''Fujin''': You are unworthy to be his heir.
* '''Spawn''': Ambition's got its hook into you bad. '''Rain''': Here to keep me down? '''Spawn''': No, to bury you in hell.
* '''Spawn''': Still pissed at your father, aren't you? '''Rain''': Argus should have trusted me to rule Edenia. '''Spawn''': He saw through your shit just like I do.
* '''Shang Tsung''': I will torment you for eternity. '''Rain''': You would be killed in the attempt, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You could have served, Rain. '''Rain''': I would much rather steal your empire. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha! You fool.
* '''Cassie Cage''': How about that. Another wannabe emperor. '''Rain''': It's not wise to insult a god. '''Cassie Cage''': It's the least I'm doing to you.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So what's your problem with Earthrealm? '''Rain''': All of its denizens are beneath me, woman. '''Cassie Cage''': And the award for &quot;Most Pretentious Prick&quot; goes to.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain. '''Rain''': Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer? '''Cassie Cage''': Everybody forgets how to fucking drive.
* '''Cassie Cage''': You're pretty high on yourself, Rain. '''Rain''': Should I not be? I'm a god. '''Cassie Cage''': You sure you and dad aren't twins?
* '''Rain''': You are not divine. '''Cassie Cage''': And yet, your ass is still mine. '''Rain''': You will choke on your hubris.
* '''Kabal''': So who the hell names their kid &quot;Rain&quot;? '''Rain''': Do not dare insult my mother! '''Kabal''': She didn't do you any favors, friend!
* '''Kotal Kahn''': You have not yet suffered for your rebellion. '''Rain''': Nor will I ever, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Today, you will face Osh-Tekk justice.
* '''Rambo''': You're full of shit. '''Rain''': Truly, I have no designs on your Earth. '''Rambo''': Guys like you are never satisfied.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a half god. '''Rain''': The first born son of Argus. '''Sub-Zero''': That claim holds no water.
* '''RoboCop''': You betrayed Kotal Kahn to Mileena. '''Rain''': Given the chance, I would have betrayed her. '''RoboCop''': You are not to be trusted.
* '''D'Vorah''': Argus himself found you unworthy. '''Rain''': No, my father feared me, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Then you are fortunate he let you live.
* '''Skarlet''': You do not respect me. '''Rain''': You are of the streets, I am of the heavens. '''Skarlet''': I will bleed out your ego.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Kronika sure has it in for you. '''Rain''': Because I laughed at her ludicrous offer. '''Sonya Blade''': That makes two of us.
* '''Kitana''': What happened to Tanya? '''Rain''': For her treason, Kotal killed her. '''Kitana''': You face the same punishment, Rain.
* '''Geras''': The bastard son of Argus. '''Rain''': I am his heir, Geras. '''Geras''': Not in this, or any other timeline.

== Voice cast ==
* Ron Yuan as Scorpion
* Steve Blum as Sub-Zero, Baraka
** Dimitri 'Vegas' Thivaios as Dimitri Vegas Sub-Zero
* Andrew Bowen as Johnny Cage
** [[Linden Ashby]] as 1995 Johnny Cage
* Richard Epcar as Raiden, The Joker
** [[Christopher Lambert]] as 1995 Raiden
* Phil LaMarr as Kotal Kahn
* Troy Baker as Erron Black, Shinnok
* [[Ronda Rousey]] as Sonya Blade
** [[Bridgette Wilson]] as 1995 Sonya Blade
* Erica Lindbeck as Cassie Cage
* Megalyn Echikunwoke as Jacqui Briggs
* William C. Stephens as Jax
* Kari Wahlgren as Kitana, Mileena
* Andrew Morgado as Kollector
* Beata Poźniak as Skarlet
* Sunil Malhotra as Kung Lao
* Matthew Yang King as Liu Kang, Fujin
* Mela Lee as Jade
* Dave B. Mitchell as Geras, Sektor
* Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Cetrion
* Sara Cravens as Frost
* Vanessa Marshall as Sheeva
* Jonathan Cahill as Kabal
* Kelly Hu as D'Vorah
* Ike Amadi as Shao Kahn, Cyrax
* Sean Chiplock as Noob Saibot, Kharon
* JB Blanc as Kano
* Jennifer Hale as Kronika
* Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa as Shang Tsung
* Daniel Lujan as Nightwolf
* Chris Cox as The Terminator
* Mara Junot as Sindel
* Keith David as Spawn
* Peter Weller as RoboCop
* Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo
* Dempsey Pappion as Rain

==External links==


{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2019 video games]]</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T15:33:36Z</timestamp>
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        <username>Hansen Sebastian</username>
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'''''[[w:Mortal Kombat 11|Mortal Kombat 11]]''''' is a 2019 fighting video game and a sequel to 2015's ''[[Mortal Kombat X]]''.

==Arcade Endings==
*'''Baraka''': Kronika's power was mine, mine to share with the tribe! In the new timeline I built, Tarkatans would be slaves no more. We would rule. We easily took Edenia, then Outworld and the Netherrealm. Last we challenged Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat. Within a thousand years, all realms fell to Tarkatan blade... And we have not run out of meat since! (''Laughing Evilly'')
*'''Cassie Cage''': For the second time in my life, I kicked the living shit out of an immortal. My prize? The Hourglass. Now I can change history! Talk about ridonkulous cosmic power. But despite what you may think about Beverly Hills girls, that is SO not my style. The Chosen One thing is for the Liu Kangs and Kitanas of the world. In the next timeline, all I want is to be a model soldier. To command the next generation of Special Forces. We were born to defend Earthrealm! Just like the heroes that inspired me...my parents. Okay, so there's one more thing I want: My mom back. Not just for me, but for dad. He and my mom deserve a happily-ever-after retirement. We'll never know how different things were the last time around. But we'll be together. A family. And that's all that matters.
*'''Cetrion''': Though I denied their truth, eventually I realized the wisdom of Liu Kang's words. There is virtue greater than my mother's desired balance. Good must be allowed to flourish. But no matter how I reshaped time, rooting out evil proved impossible. Though freed from want, mortals still killed each other. Divided by realm and race, they easily justified their hate. Hubris, greed, envy. To appreciate my gifts, mortal sins must be cleansed. Which is why I baptize the realms with fire. For eons mortals will battle evil, eventually achieving victory. And when they emerge from the darkness, they will be humbled. Eager to embrace the light.
*'''D'Vorah''': Vermin. That is the humanoid word for the Kytinn and our fellow insectoids. But with the Hourglass, This One can review history and give lie to that myth. Humanoids live to kill. Without a common enemy to fight, they divide. Destroy each other. Insectoids live to survive. No conflicts divide us. We build upon each other. Kin does not kill kin. So tell This One... Who are the vermin? Time for This One to write a more just history. One in which pesky humanoids finally take the place they deserve... Scrambling beneath our feet.
*'''Erron Black''': Truth be told it surprised me, putting down Kronika. Not bad for a scrawny kid from Wickett. Now that it's done, now what? I don't cotton to being Lord of Time, stuck on some island at the edge of nowhere. No, Erron Black likes being in the thick of it. Seems to me, time oughta stay all mashed up. It's been a hell of a ride. Gotta keep these thrills coming. Which means makin' sure no one gets a chance to screw this up. Once the hourglass gets dumped in the Sea of Blood, ain't no one ever shaping history again. What happens next? Hell if I know. And that's just the way I like it.
*'''Frost''': Sub-Zero dismissed me. Raiden dismissed me. They all did, even Kronika. Until I froze the smug looks off all their faces and became the Lin Kuei's new Grandmaster. The Hourglass offers even greater prospects. With it, I'll mold history to carve my name on everyone's lips. But even its power has limits. My vision can be upended by people's individual choices. Unlike Kronika, I won't let these imperfections fester until time itself must be restarted. The Lin Kuei will be my time warriors. Travelling through history, they'll get rid of those whose actions threaten my vision. From now on, no one will overlook my greatness. I'll never be dismissed again.
*'''Fujin''': As the new Keeper of Time, I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Who was I to design the destinies of mortals? As their protector, I had spent eons safeguarding them. But while I had grown to appreciate mortals deeply... ...I understood precious little about their daily existence. So I used the Hourglass to live hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. They spanned the possibilities of realm, race, gender, and faith. Most importantly, I learned the simple joy of ending each day in the warm embrace of family. Humbled by my new wisdom, I bend the arc of history not to my will, but to the service of those who must live it. While it is beyond my power to guarantee outcomes, I will give mortals the chance to have better, more peaceful lives.
*'''Geras''': Kronika's endless cycle of rewinding and restarting timelines had destroyed my spirit. But she refused to grant me either freedom or death. So I took her power to do what she could not. I would create one final, perfect timeline. Then, I would rest. But the task was more difficult than I imagined. Mortals refused to follow the paths I set for them. Timeline after timeline, my frustration grew. I began to understand why Kronika had been driven to madness. Perhaps mortals do not need a Lord of Time. I will sacrifice my body and my mantle to re-sculpt the Sands so that the Hourglass runs itself. And for the first time in all eternity. I can rest.... In peace.
*'''Jacqui Briggs''': The Hourglass was there for the taking, and I can think of only one thing: Dad. Killed, made a Revenant, resurrected. Since coming back, Dad's never forgotten the things he did for Quan Chi. I thought with the hourglass, I could fix all that. And I can. Dad won't die in that massacre. He'll never be a Revenant. But turns out, what my gut's told me since the start of all this is true. Dad and mom got together when he was in treatment. He doesn't suffer, they don't meet. And I'll never be born. And you know what? I'm good with that. I'm not just protecting Dad. I'm protecting everyone he'll risk his life to save. In my shoes, it's what he would. It's what he would. It's what a Briggs does. I know you'll never hear this, but goodbye Dad. I love you.
*'''Jade''': I held the power to shape time and destiny, but I was lost. Which Kahn should be restored - my lover, Kotal, or my loyal friend, Kitana? I heard Kotal's voice call out to me--Follow your heart, Jade. So I let my heart lead, and it took me to an unexpected place... a faint memory of home and... My mother. I restored my parents and Edenia, building a new era without Shao Kahn! And what a happy childhood I enjoyed... But as I matured, I sensed that I was no ordinary child. Kronika's power dwelled within me... Calling me to a higher purpose. When I came of age, I ascended to godhood as the Protector of Edenia. Armed with the knowledge of past timelines, I challenged Shinnok and Cetrion. Without Kronika's children pitting the realms against each other, all could be at peace. And remain so, under my watchful eyes.
*'''Jax''': All I wanted was to fix my life. Now I have the power to fix history. Raiden warns me, I can't fix everything. Change to much and I could lose Vera. Lose Jacqui. But this power's bigger than us. If I think only about helping myself, what kind of officer am I? What kind of man? I've been lucky. My family and I have lived the American Dream. But most people who look like me haven't had that chance. I owe it to them to put things right. And I'm not waiting centuries for people to get woke, when I've got the power to speed things up. I don't get it right the first time. Or the second. Or even the third. But eventually, I knock it out of the damn park. My family's back. The world's a better place for everyone. Turns out you CAN have everything. Anyone who says you can't, needs to dream bigger.
*'''Johnny Cage''': This whole adventure? Capital 'I' insane. I marry Sonya? Have a kid who actually likes me? Enquiring minds want to know how the hell that happens! So I get the Hourglass to show me how kicking Shinnok's ass, which I did beautifully, turned me from Hollywood mega-star into global icon. So far, so good. Until I let that fame screw me up. Didn't hit rock bottom until I saw just how badly I'd let down my little girl. I finally got what Old Man Me was saying about needing humility and maturity. But I also knew I couldn't get there without living the same life he did. So I restored the timeline, just as it was. With one, tiny little difference... Sonya's story won't end underneath the rubble of some busted-up Netherrealm castle. Because Johnny Cage flicks always have happy endings.
*'''Joker''': This was my dream vacation. I saw mayhem. Mutilation. It was all a gas... ...for a while. But these nincompoops? They didn't really GET me. Not even that pretty boy, Ninja Mime. Good night, sweet prince! I'd &quot;finished&quot; just about everyone worth finishing in Earthrealm and Outworld. Even loveable old Netherrealm. I was a lonely heart in search of new friends. But as luck would have it, I had just the gizmo to find them: [gushing] And oh, the Hourglass spoiled me! Havik and I are going to be bosom buddies. And what's that? My new pal knows an entire realm devoted to law and order? And he exists solely to disrupt it? Well I say, he and I need to get busy! Meet the League of Misunderstood Maniacs! We're giving Orderrealm an enema. And when we're done, who knows where we'll crash next. Maybe we'll come to your house and slip live grenades under your pillow. Maybe we'll gut your favorite pet. Or maybe we'll just... ...break your TV right now! [maniacal laughter]
*'''Kabal''': Shit sounds cool right? The power to control time. Immortality. Destiny. Well let me tell ya, this job sucks. There's no pay, no weekends, and your shift lasts forever. The only smart play is to turn back time and give it back to Kronika. Bet your ass she's grateful, too! I didn't ask for much. Just a chance to take out anyone who's ever tried to burn me. Black Dragon was always more a gig than a brotherhood, anyway. Now I get to live large, enjoying the simple life of a well-to-do family man. And if Shao Kahn or Shinnok ever come knocking, my family and I'll take 'em down. Just like I took down Shinnok's Mom. (''Chuckling happily'')
*'''Kano''': I've cut a lotta of deals, but none spiffier than this. I spared Kronika and she gave up the Hourglass. The power to shape time and history to my liking? Oh ho ho, fuck yeah! I set it up so everything came up aces, Every desire, every wish, every whim I ever had? Done and done. But I realized pretty quick I'd suck the fun out of everything. Without a fight, winning was worthless. Nah, the fun wasn't in the having, it was in the getting. So I changed things up one more time. Now what I want is always just out of reach, I gotta earn it. I score lotsa wins, but no always. And when I do win, (''Evil Chuckle'') it's something to savor!
*'''Kitana''': As I gazed upon the Hourglass, I knew what I must do: restore my homeland, Edenia to existence. Experiencing Edenia's verdant land for the first time... I've never felt such joy. But that joy was short-lived. Edenia's traditions, its languages, its culture. All were completely foreign, having been forbidden to me by Shao Kahn. I fit in with my people no better than a Tarkatan. The truth was hard. Though Edenian by blood, I am not an Edenian. I am an Outworlder. Not only that, I am Outworld's Kahn. I will use ancient Edenian teachings to make myself a better sovereign. With them, I will fulfill my life's mission to better all of Outworld's people, including Edenia.
*'''Kollector''': Kronika made big promises. Not big enough, for what my people suffered. Our hands built the Koliseum, the Palace...We were slaves. We served or we died. Every coin I took for Shao Kahn's tribute, Outworld owed my people. Not that my Nakanadan brothers and sisters joined arms to help me. No, every great treasure, I have won myself. I do not wait for handouts. I take what I desire. That is why I am now Kahn. Netherrealm. Earthrealm. Orderrealm. Chaosrealm. I want them all. And I will take them by right...Of MORTAL KOMBAT!
*'''Kotal Kahn''': In her last moments, Kronika tried to tempt me. Spare her and she would re-write history. With Jade as my queen I would rule an eternal Osh-Tekk empire that spanned all the realms. But Kronika never understood the Osh-Tekk heart. Our lives are cloth, woven from choice and circumstance. Pull even one thread, that cloth is torn asunder and made worthless. Now that I am tasked with keeping time, others beg me to have their histories rewritten. But as long as the Hourglass is mine, I will not shape destiny in any one being's favour. History will play out as determined by its players. Let the sands fall where they may.
*'''Kung Lao''': Of course I defeated Kronika. And when I did, there was only one thing wanted to do with the Hourglass. Undo the defeat of my ancestor, the Great Kung Lao. In my timeline, the Great Kung Lao is the undisputed Mortal Kombat champion. Earthrealm never loses another tournament. For generations, his example inspires millions to join the White Lotus Society and defend Earthrealm. They in turn inspire rebels to overthrow Shao Kahn in Outworld. The realm makes peace. Until, inevitably, a more powerful enemy comes along... ...and finds Earthrealm backed by Kung Lao, Immortal Lord of Time and Warrior Supreme. Beat that, Liu Kang.
*'''Liu Kang''': What does it mean to wield the Sands of Time? To be the Chosen One? It means making choices that break your heart. For the protection of all, I shared Kronika's power with the people I trust and loved most. Together we replace the Elder Gods that Cetrion had betrayed... and became eternal guardians of the realms. Still... My heart longs for a simple life. The kind one cannot have being the Chosen One, let alone an Elder God. What Kitana and I would not give for those simple pleasures. Perhaps in another timeline, they could be ours.
*'''Mileena''': With the Hourglass won, my thoughts turned toward my sister. I was born from her flesh. We shared the same blood. I wanted us to be family... But she wanted me dead. I was not her twin, I was a monstrosity! How horrified she would be, to know that I've used Kronika's power to take her place. Under my parents' adoring gaze, I rule the realms as Kahnum of Time. My sister's friends, her lover? They cherish me. Kitana is forgotten, her name buried in the sands of history. Yet even I can't reign forever. Like all queens, I need an heir. Someone to carry on in my name, and see my will done across the eons. Unlike my sister, my daughter regards me with awe and wonder. To her I am no abomination, I am perfection.
*'''Nightwolf''': Before I was Nightwolf, I was a fool named Grey Cloud. Born into poverty, I resented my ancestors for giving up our future to colonizers... Kano offered a way out, promising riches if I stole the tribe's most sacred relics. I was sorely tempted, but then I realized that by saving myself, I'd be surrendering the last of my people's dignity. For the first time, I defended the Matoka's pride. Kano was unimpressed. But as I lay dying, the Great Spirit came to me. By rejecting Kano, I had proven worthy of an ancient honor. The mantle of Nightwolf... legendary defender of the Matoka. Now, as I inherit Kronika's mantle, the way before me is split. The Keeper of Time cannot also be my tribe's defender. Which path do i choose? Even here, at time's beginning, the Great Spirit's wisdom guides me. She calls me to restore history. The Matoka, I must leave to another. To the next Nightwolf. Like all our sacred relics, the Nightwolf mantle belongs to the tribe. Any Matokan, can prove worthy of its power. I enjoy imagining who will defend us next.
*'''Noob Saibot''': Kronika said I would lead the New Era's deadliest clan. But she made such promises to many. She could never keep them all. So I betrayed her, before she could betray me. When Kronika's sands fused with my shadows, my ambitions grew. Why be ruler of mortals, when I could rule destiny itself? Mortals resisted, but could not stop, my blanketing history in cold, endless night. All is dark. All are shadows. I have had many names. Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.
*'''Raiden''': Kronika had manipulated me. In timeline after timeline, she stoked my anger and fed my arrogance, turning me against Liu Kang. My nose rubbed in my own fallibility, I was humbled. How could I be worthy to accept the mantle as Keeper of Time? I thought to control time and destiny fairly, I must purge myself of all human emotion. Summoning the strongest magic, I burned away my fear and anger. All that remained was pure logic. But I learned quickly that the logical choice is often not the just choice. Unless tampered by compassion and heart, logic leads to decisions no better than those based on anger or fear. Now I am once more at time's beginning. But on this journey through history, I will infuse logic with love. In this timeline, I will finally achieve peace for the citizens of all realms.
*'''Rain''': Kronika was dead, the Hourglass taken, and Edenia's future mine to command. I had obtained all I had wanted. All except that which I had wanted most: to know the true story of my parentage. That I was a bastard, I knew. Born of an illicit affair between the Edenian god Argus, and a mortal woman, Amara. But what I didn't know, until the Hourglass showed me, was that I and my mother were both victims. She hadn't abandoned me. Thanks to my father's lies, she had thought me stillborn. I was stolen away and left to rot among peasants, while my mother died from grief. Argus hid his scandal and his shame by killing the one person who ever loved me. For that, he will die. As will his sons, Taven and Daegon. His beloved wife, Delia? She, I will let live. Let her heart break, as my mother's did, as she weeps over her children's corpses.
*'''Rambo''': I didn't ask for this war. But once it started, I had to finish it. Hands down, Kronika was the toughest enemy I ever faced. All my tactics, my training, meant nothing against a god like her. In the end, it was a battle of wills. It never occurred to me that for winning, I'd get her Hourglass. At first, I hoped to right every wrong in history. But then I figured out that doing it meant I'd have to decide the fates of billions. Picking who lives and who dies, for eternity? It was going to kill my soul. I'd end up no better than those old men who sent us off to war, not giving a shit about what would happen. And that's not the man I want to be. It's time to walk away, for good this time, leaving the pain and the ugliness behind. After all I've been through, I've earned a little peace.
*'''Robocop''': OCP built me to serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. So when I found Kano dealing arms to Old Detroit's gangs, I had one duty: Apprehend him. I never thought the chase would to take me to a different universe, let alone end in a fight with Kano's protector, Kronika. And when Kronika went down, something unexpected happened. Her power washed over me, sweeping away the limits my designers had put on my programming. For the first time, I saw the depth of OCP's corruption. It wasn't just a couple of greedy executives... ...it was the whole damned company. OCP is making a killing playing both sides, selling to cops and criminals. When I get home, I am bringing them to justice. It will not be fast or easy. OCP has too much cash, and too much firepower, for me to clean things up alone. It is good thing this'll be an &quot;inter-agency&quot; effort. Welcome to the future of law enforcement.
*'''Scorpion''': I made my Future Self a promise: that I would not stay mired in the past. But once I controlled the Hourglass, I could not keep that promise. I had to restore my family. Over and over I crafted the Sands of Time. Yet in every new timeline my family's tragedy repeated. I was powerless to change it. After eons, I learend the truth. Kronika was not alone. She was one of many Titans, each more powerful and ancient than the Elder Gods. It is they who conspire against us. Myself, my family. We are pawns in their game. Why? I do not know. But I will find out. And then, I will have vengeance.
*'''Shang Tsung''': Kronika's power overwhelmed me, such that I would have been driven mad... Had I not spent centuries mastering the dark powers beyond the grasp of ordinary mortals. Now I am the master of time and fate. But Kronika's fall proves that even Titans can be defeated. Though my power lets me roam infinite timelines and feast upon the souls of billions, I am vulnerable. To survive, I must return to the shadows, avoid confrontation, and work my will through the hands of others... More specifically, through the hands of my fellow Titans... These monstrous beings are plied easily by appealing their greed, vanity, and fear. Through them, every soul in eternity bends to my influence. In my New Era, morality will be exposed as the illusion it is. The cunning will prosper while the &quot;good&quot; suffer. This is the word of Shang Tsung. Have a nice day.
*'''Shao Kahn''': I conquered history like I conquered realms - merging billions of potential timelines into a singularity. The universe has been remade in my image and all is as it should be. The weak serve the strong. The strong compete for power, wealth, and my favor in Mortal Kombat. For centuries, the tournament's champion has gone undefeated. That champion... is me! Hail the Konqueror... Hail Shao Kahn!(''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'')
*'''Sheeva''': A lifetime of battle prepared me to conquer Kronika. But as the Keeper of Time, I must be a creator, not a conqueror. I thought of the many sons and daughters I've lost in battle through the years. Imagined a better destiny for my kin. A history where the Shokan build rather than destroy. The results were catastrophic. Comfort and ease extinguished the dragon's fire that once lit the heart of every Shokan. They became weak, corrupted fools. The timeline had to start again. War, for all its tragedies, is the forge of Shokan will. My people will fight. Many will die. But I will lead us to victory. And in the aftermath, the dragon's fire will blaze in Shokan hearts for eternity.
*'''Sindel''': In the beginning... Shao Kahn invaded Edenia, murdered my husband, Jerrod, and forced me to be his bride. That's the story, but it's a lie. One I told, lest I lose the faith of my subjects, or of my daughter, Kitana. The truth? Jerrod was weak. Destined to fail. By betraying him, I gained a better lover and the ultimate weapon... A conqueror to unite all realms and put them at my beck and call. Then Kronika upended history, and I found myself confronting a future in which I'd been dead for centuries. My so-called family had failed me in every way. Kitana broke my heart worst. Instead of uniting the realms, she sought to liberate them. As if the Wastelands' savages could ever be more than serfs! Ever the caring mother, I had to discipline my little princess. And after that, I had to discipline a Titan... Now I have defeated Kronika. Outgrown Shao Kahn and Kitana. I have no more family. No more rivals. No more gods. I sit above them all, on a throne that unites all realms... and all realities. Whoever you are, wherever you are, when you are before me, kneel. For I am Sindel, Empress of Time, and you exist only to serve me... 
*'''Skarlet''': All of his daughters, Shao Kahn made me deadliest. He pulled me from the gutter. Bound me to the Blood Code. Made me fight for recognition. Perhaps he will commend me...when I bind the Blood Code to the Sands of Time. Now a Blood God, I demand more than Shao Kahn's recognition. I demand worship. I'll have temples, ministers, acolytes, prayers...And sacrifices. Rivers of blood, shed in my name, purging heretics who dare reject me. (''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'') How proud Shao Kahn is now. How proud...and obedient. For the only thing better than my Master's recognition, is to make him beg for mine. All will worship me...or there will be blood.
*'''Sonya Blade''': None of us saw Kronika coming. Not even Raiden. But with the Hourglass, I can see every terror in the realms. Any sane person would run screaming at the sight of them. It's my duty to take out these ancient, all-powerful beings. But to do that, I need an elite squad of immortal gods. Turns out to make a new god, you've gotta destroy an old one. So I hunt the oldest I can find, an omni-deity from a forgotten, unpronounceably-named realm. It's the fight of my life. But I've got something this god doesn't: family. In my past, these were the people who mattered most. Now, they're my God Squad. My daughter. My brother-in-arms. My god-daughter. Yep. Even Johnny. But only because Cassie insisted. And maybe I missed him a little. Just don't let him know that.
*'''Spawn''': I'd snuffed out every devil in Hell... ...until Netherrealm invaders showed up to piss me off. It would've cost a lot of power, fighting them alone. But they were being hunted by my new friends. Call them Fire and Ice. They argue. CONSTANTLY. Which is why I usually like to roll solo. But when it comes to killing demonic assholes, these guys don't flinch. I can get along with that. The Grandmasters tipped me off to Kronika. Said she was resurrecting some Netherrealm god named Shinnok. But that's not happening on my watch. Kronika's just much a devil as Malebolgia. Both make promises. Both tell lies. Both underestimate me. That's why I'll make a new hell for them, where they can burn together... ...for eternity. [brief, creepy, satisfied laughter] The Netherrealm's locked down, but there's still eight Hells left to purge. It's time to bring up the reserves. I made choices in my life that sealed my fate. I'm beyond redemption. But even the damned are capable of doing some good. So all you Devils out there, making false promises and spewing lies? We're coming -- and you don't have a chance in Hell.
*'''Sub-Zero''': Once I gained the Hourglass, my first thought was to re-write history and redeem the Lin Kuei's honor. But then I thought of Bi-Han, his life consumed by evil. Before I could redeem my clan, I had to redeem my brother. With the Hourglass, I wound back in time to our childhood. I studied every second of Bi-Han's life to understand why... Why he embraced Sektor's corruption. Why he reveled in the vile power given to him by Quan Chi. Armed with that knowledge, I re-sculpted the Sands of Time. I changed Bi-Han's life and unfroze his heart. Now we are comrades, not rivals. Together as joint Grandmasters, we lead the Lin Kuei in defense of Earthrealm.
*'''The Terminator''': ''(Narrated by Cassie Cage)'' It was an epic accident that brought the Terminator here, rather than to his own Earth's past. But it didn't take long for him to adapt. He figured that terminating Kronika, and taking her Hourglass, gave him the best chance at achieving his mission objective. Destroying humanity so that the machines prevail. Turns out the Hourglass wasn't the ultimate weapon. No matter how many times the Terminator re-booted history, the war between humans and the machines always ended the same. With their mutual destruction. He realized this war was a losing game. The only way to win, was not to play. So the Terminator used the Hourglass to build a future where machines and humans don't fight, they cooperate. The Terminator knew that to preserve this future, no one else could learn about the Hourglass. The information stored in his machine mind was dangerous. It had to be eliminated. That's why the Terminator threw himself into the infinite depths of the Sea of Blood. No one would ever find him, or unlock the Hourglass' secrets. If you could ask him about it, he'd tell you he made the only logical choice. But in my book, that machine's a hero.
&lt;br /&gt;

== Pre-Battle Dialogue ==
* '''Cassie Cage''': Hey there [[Frozen (2013 film)|Elsa]], what's up? '''Frost''': Ugh! Why does everyone call me that? '''Cassie Cage''': Oh honey, let me help you.
* '''Erron Black''': Goddamn, your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  '''Noob Saibot''': It will be the last thing you hear.  '''Erron Black''': Aw, hell no.
* '''Kollector''': What rare technology. '''Frost''': A gift from divine hands. '''Kollector''': It belongs in mine.
* '''Geras''': Prove your greatness. '''Kung Lao''': I do not have anything to prove. '''Geras''': The refrain of failures throughout history.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I say it, just once?  '''Scorpion''': Only if you wish to suffer.  '''Cassie Cage''': (imitating Scorpion) GET OVER HERE!
* '''Cassie Cage''': Grandmaster Hasashi. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I ask for a favor? '''Sub-Zero''': You may battle for one. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's cookin', Good Lookin'? '''Cassie Cage''': Ewww, No. Seriously?! '''Johnny Cage''': Wait, what?! Not what I meant!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will join my concubines. '''Cassie Cage''': One -- eww, two -- piss off! '''Shao Kahn''': I like females with fire.
* '''Baraka''': Nay aka ratakka tahar kombat. '''Kung Lao''': All I understood from that was 'kombat'. '''Baraka''': Then you understand enough.
* '''Baraka''': It is a battle of blades. '''Kung Lao''': My hat's blade has greater range. '''Baraka''': But you only have one.
* '''Baraka''': Do you know what I am? '''Johnny Cage''': [[w:C.H.U.D.|Cannibal humanoid under dweller]]? '''Baraka''': I am death, you imp!
* '''Frost''': I deserve your respect. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch./You haven't earned any, Frost. '''Frost''': Wrong answer, Blade.
* '''Kano''': So, we in bizzo eh, D'Vorah? '''D'Vorah''': You are a means to This One's ends. '''Kano''': We'll get along just fine.
* '''Frost''': The past is in the past.  '''Frost (other player)''': Then let your storm rage on!  '''Frost''': Time to test my limits and break through!
* '''Erron Black''': That's some outfit. '''Sub-Zero''': It honors Lin Kuei tradition. '''Erron Black''': Time to let the past die.
* '''Kabal''': I'm as fast as [[Grease (film)|greased lightning]]. '''Erron Black''': Look at you, speaking Texan. '''Kabal''': Figured I'd use words you'd understand.
* '''Erron Black''': Last chance to walk away. '''Jax''': No chance, scumbag. '''Erron Black''': I pull, and I'm putting you down.
* '''Jade''': In the future you're dead, I'm a Revenant. '''Baraka''': I prefer my fate to yours. '''Jade''': I must agree, Baraka.
* '''Scorpion''': You rejected Kronika's offer. '''Kung Lao''': I will succeed on my own merits. '''Scorpion''': For once, your pride was useful. 
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's that, Skarlet? '''Skarlet''': [[Gone with the Wind (film)|The Gods as my witness, I'll never go thirsty again.]] '''Johnny Cage''': {{W|Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn}}.
* '''Frost''': Are you my future self? '''Frost (other player)''': I am your replacement. '''Frost''': Kronika has betrayed me!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Who are you, ghost?  '''Noob Saibot (other player)''': [[Harry Potter|He who shall not be named.]]  '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your [[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|deathly hollow]].
* '''Kollector''': Have you seen Ferra-Torr? '''D'Vorah''': Only their corpses, Kollector. '''Kollector''': Shao Kahn will not be pleased.
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not impede This One, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I will protect Shao Kahn. '''D'Vorah''': How will death profit you?
* '''Liu Kang''': There is still honor in you, Frost. '''Frost''': I don't need you to tell me. '''Liu Kang''': Then why do you display none?
* '''Jade''': Kronika's minion. '''Frost''': Better than being Kotal's kept woman. '''Jade''': At least my body remains my own.
* '''Jade''': Sub-Zero's former student. '''Frost''': I exceed him in every way. '''Jade''': In your mind, perhaps.
* '''D'Vorah''': Such bile you spew at me, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Even Mileena was less a cretin. '''D'Vorah''': This One will not be judged.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Sub-Zero was wise to dismiss you. '''Frost''': What do you know about it, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': That bad soil yields no bounty.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': I despise you as I did Mileena. '''Frost''': You have problems with strong women? '''Kotal Kahn''': Those who seek stations above their faculty.
* '''Jacqui''': Women warriors should stick together. '''Kitana''': Realm before gender, Jacqueline Briggs. '''Jacqui''': If that's how you want to play it, fine.
* '''Kitana''': I was once young, like you. '''Jacqui''': Just how old are you, Kitana? '''Kitana''': Such an impolite question, Jacqueline.
* '''Frost''': How is it, being born to loyalty? '''Kitana''': I can't say, I've known nothing else. '''Frost''': Let me enlighten you.
* '''Jade''': So, Kitana. Liu Kang? '''Kitana''': Jade, he's just a friend. '''Jade''': I see how you look at him.
* '''Kitana''': One thing keeps you from greatness. '''Kung Lao''': Let me guess, pride? '''Kitana''': A flaw you and Johnny Cage share.
* '''Kitana''': So you were to defeat Shinnok? '''Johnny Cage''': What is with people? Is it so hard to believe? '''Kitana''': Yes.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We need a girl talk, Kitana. '''Kitana''': We are women, not girls, Cassandra. '''Cassie Cage''': Missing the point entirely.
* '''Kitana''': What does your tribe desire? '''Baraka''': To savor the blood of its enemies. '''Kitana''': Charming as always, Baraka.
* '''Kitana''': Would you welcome death, Geras? '''Geras''': Once my service to Kronika is finished. '''Kitana''': Then you don't have long to wait.
* '''Kitana''': You soil every room you enter. '''Kano''': Bloke's gotta mark his territory. '''Kitana''': Even Baraka's more civilized.
* '''Scorpion''': Shao Kahn escaped your vengeance. '''Kitana''': Something I regret deeply. '''Scorpion''': Next time, forget mercy.
* '''Kitana''': The thought of you with my mother. '''Shao Kahn''': She always pleased me, Kitana. '''Kitana''': I will flay the smile off your face.
* '''Kitana''': Why do you shield my Revenant? '''Cetrion''': There is no virtue in vengeance. '''Kitana''': Not vengeance, euthanasia.
* '''Kitana''': Now what, Earthrealmer? '''Johnny Cage''': Johnny Cage. Is. 'The Edenian Candidate'. '''Kitana''': By the Gods, no.
* '''Johnny Cage''': My green magic, your green outfit. '''Jade''': (laughs) By the gods, no. '''Johnny Cage''': Your loss, sweetheart.
* '''Jax''': Here comes the ruckus. '''Frost''': I have the technological advantage. '''Jax''': Maybe, but you've got no soul.
* '''Frost''': We are siblings in cryomancy. '''Noob Saibot''': The dead are my only kin. '''Frost''': You disgrace us all.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no family? '''Skarlet''': Yes, I am an orphan, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Then who will mourn you?
* '''Jacqui''': You're always getting me in trouble. '''Cassie Cage''': You love trouble and you know it. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do, sister.
* '''Kabal''': Just how cold are you? '''Frost''': Chilled to the core. '''Kabal''': That is super hot.
* '''Jax''': [[W:Mortal Kombat (2011 video game)|Man, Scorpion toasted you.]] '''Noob Saibot''': Ermac ripped off your arms. '''Jax''': But I survived, you didn't.
* '''Jacqui''': So you're basically Lady Sub-Zero. '''Frost''': Our differences are deeper than gender. '''Jacqui''': Is there a wiki or something?
* '''Cetrion''': Is there room for love in your heart? '''Sub-Zero''': Love gets in the way. '''Cetrion''': Love leads the way, Kuai Liang.
* '''Frost''': Mine is a cold, cold world. '''Jacqui''': You'll be hotter when you die, Frost. '''Frost''': Think you can send me to the Netherrealm?
* '''Scorpion''': Still hoping to kill me? '''Frost''': All Shirai Ryu must die. '''Scorpion''': My fire will melt you, Frost.
* '''Kung Lao''': Smile and the realms smile with you. '''Baraka''': I'll smile when you swing from a meat hook. '''Kung Lao''': Not going to happen, Baraka.
* '''D'Vorah''': Jerrod was soft and weak-willed. '''Kitana''': You claim to know father? '''D'Vorah''': This One killed him for Shao Kahn.
* '''Kitana''': I was right, doubting the Elder Gods. '''Cetrion''': [[Star Wars (film)|Your lack of faith disturbs me]]. '''Kitana''': As does your obedience to Kronika.
* '''Kitana''': I've never liked guns. '''Erron Black''': Aww, they make you nervous, Princess? '''Kitana''': They are highly uncivilized.
* '''Baraka''': All of Tarkata reveres Jade. '''Kotal Kahn''': An honor richly deserved. '''Baraka''': You, on the other hand.
* '''Baraka''': Daughter of Earthrealm. '''Jacqui''': And proud of it, Buckteeth. '''Baraka''': These teeth will rend your flesh.
* '''Baraka''': What happened to your eye? '''Kano''': Special Forces bastard took it. '''Baraka''': I'll take the other one.
* '''Baraka''': We meet again. '''Sub-Zero''': It's a long way from the tournament. '''Baraka''': We can still fight. 
* '''Baraka''': Speak your joke to my face. '''Jacqui''': Grandmother, what big teeth you have! '''Baraka''': My Grandmother's were the biggest!
* '''Baraka''': Heir to the Great Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': The family legend precedes me. '''Baraka''': It ends with your death.
* '''Baraka''': I hate cold things. '''Frost''': I am no 'thing', beast. '''Baraka''': You are meat, Frost.
* '''Baraka''': You'll be a good practice dummy. '''Frost''': I am the future of pain, Baraka! '''Baraka''': More like future of scrap metal.
* '''D'Vorah''': A cold snack for the Swarm. '''Frost''': This frost bites back. '''D'Vorah''': Not with your jaw slacked from poison.
* '''Frost''': You should have been Grandmaster. '''Noob Saibot''': I would not allow female Lin Kuei. '''Frost''': You're worse than Kuai Liang!
* '''Kung Lao''': Double date with Liu Kang and Kitana? '''Jade''': In your dreams, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A simple 'no' would have sufficed.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You know nothing of cold. '''Frost''': You never conjured ice as cold as mine. '''Noob Saibot''': Death is the coldest ice.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You are a sinful monk. '''Kung Lao''': I'm no Liu Kang, but I'm hardly sinful. '''Noob Saibot''': Death will purge your pride.
* '''Noob Saibot''': One clan will rule the New Era. '''Frost''': That clan will be mine, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang would be a better Grandmaster.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang was a fool to trust you. '''Frost''': A fool to doubt me, like you. '''Noob Saibot''': I do not doubt your hubris.
* '''Frost''': [[Man on Fire (2004 film)|Revenge is]] [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|a dish best served cold]]. '''Cassie Cage''': Page five, Cliché Villains Handbook? '''Frost''': Snark won't save you, Cage.
* '''Frost''': Once cyberized, you will serve. '''Erron Black''': Serve? Or service? '''Frost''': Ugh, never mind.
* '''Kano''': Better get right with Kronika. '''Baraka''': (Fuck) you and Kronika! '''Kano''': Now that's a bonzer attitude.
* '''Liu Kang''': You learned nothing at the Wu Shi. '''Kung Lao''': I learned I'm better than the best. '''Liu Kang''': Have you been drinking with Bo 'Rai Cho?
* '''Liu Kang''': Master Li Bing saw your potential. '''Kung Lao''': Is that why he made life Hell? '''Liu Kang''': That was because you are lazy.
* '''Scorpion''': Beware your bond with Liu Kang. '''Kitana''': Relationship advice, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': Losing him will burn your soul.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Minus three degrees Celsius. '''Skarlet''': What is that? '''Sub-Zero''': The freezing point for blood.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you kill my family? '''Sub-Zero''': No, Quan Chi did. '''Scorpion''': But I saw a vision of YOU.
* '''Shang Tsung''': You are neither god nor Kahn. '''Kotal Kahn''': Then what am I, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': My next victim.
* '''Raiden''': You proved a poor student. '''Frost''': Sub-Zero had nothing to teach me. '''Raiden''': Your ignorance is stunning, Frost.
* '''Cetrion''': Do not betray Kronika. '''D'Vorah''': This One is her most dutiful servant. '''Cetrion''': As you were Mileena's?
* '''Cetrion''': Your poor, withering soul. '''Frost''': I have never been stronger, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': Of body, not of virtue.
* '''Cetrion''': What has Mother done this time? '''Cetrion (other player)''': Corrected a flawed first draft. '''Cetrion''': We are all flawed. I accept it.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Why should I pray to you? '''Cetrion''': Why does a bird flap its wings? '''Sub-Zero''': I asked a simple question.
* '''Sonya Blade''': In the future we carry tiny TVs with us? '''Cassie Cage''': Welcome to the Digital Age. '''Sonya Blade''': More like the Distracted Age.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Once upon a time I beat Shinnok. '''Shang Tsung''': My, you have a colorful imagination. '''Johnny Cage''': Look it up. I laid him out!
* '''Skarlet''': I need your warm, red blood. '''Sub-Zero''': My blood runs cold. '''Skarlet''': How refreshing!
* '''Jax''': This a friendly fight, Sub-Zero? '''Sub-Zero''': I prefer to see your full strength. '''Jax''': Stone cold. I like that.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Those blades will snap. '''Baraka''': Those who try get impaled. '''Sub-Zero''': They were not me, Baraka.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What's our sparring record? '''Jacqui''': We're tied, five and five. '''Cassie Cage''': So this is match point.
* '''Jacqui''': What's this about a blood ceremony? '''Scorpion''': Marry Takeda, you marry the Shirai Ryu. '''Jacqui''': Do we get matching rope spears?
* '''Baraka''': Mileena's blood was Tarkatan. '''Kitana''': She was created to spite me. '''Baraka''': Shao Kahn improved on the original.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What up, Empress Princess? '''Kitana''': Are Earthrealmers not taught etiquette? '''Cassie Cage''': Just got no patience for imperial bullshit.
* '''Frost''': I'd cut a deal, but I know better. '''Kano''': My aren't you the full quid. '''Frost''': You have no idea.
* '''Jacqui''': I hear Sub-Zero's no fan. '''Frost''': He's never respected my power. '''Jacqui''': Chip, meet shoulder.
* '''Scorpion''': You plan to marry my chujin? '''Jacqui''': Takeda got smart and put a ring on it. '''Scorpion''': First, prove you are worthy.
* '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero's mistake with you is obvious. '''Frost''': Share your wisdom, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': To be trained, you must be tamed.
* '''Jacqui''': Jin told me about you. '''Kung Lao''': My nephew must adore me. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do.
* '''Geras''': You are an Old West enthusiast. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Geras''': In 1881, Wyatt Earp shot me.
* '''Kollector''': You killed my brother. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Kollector''': Today, I collect vengeance.
* '''Shang Tsung''': In seven days, I can make you a man. '''Geras''': A mortal man who can be killed? '''Shang Tsung''': I see you quiver with anticipation.
* '''Frost''': What do you see when you look at me? '''Jacqui''': A cheap, second-gen knockoff. '''Frost''': I said look at me, not you.
* '''Skarlet''': The hot-blooded Johnny Cage. '''Johnny Cage''': Got a fever burning inside of me. '''Skarlet''': The only cure is killing you.
* '''Skarlet''': People do not appreciate us. '''Frost''': Are you suggesting we band together? '''Skarlet''': That I prove my worth by killing you.
* '''Jacqui''': That hat's old school. '''Kung Lao''': Never mess with a classic. '''Jacqui''': 'Classic' is a nice word for 'busted'.
* '''Erron Black''': Looking mighty fine, Miss Briggs. '''Jacqui''': Cut the cowboy shtick, not interested. '''Erron Black''': Straight to business. I like it.
* '''Frost''': You're smaller in person, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': And you're an even bigger brat. '''Frost''': Touched a nerve, didn't I?
* '''Shang Tsung''': [[Mortal Kombat (film)|I have a dress your size, you should wear it.]] '''Sonya Blade''': Are you out of your damn mind? '''Shang Tsung''': It was sewn by the finest designers in Outworld.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Such beauty in kombat is rare. '''Jacqui''': I'll turn you fifty shades of black and blue. '''Shang Tsung''': Rarer still for it to survive.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Your thoughts turn to Takahashi Takeda. '''Jacqui''': You stay the hell away from him. '''Shang Tsung''': Your soul will be mine, and then his.
* '''Scorpion''': I beheaded Quan Chi. '''Shang Tsung''': Thank you for sparing me the trouble. '''Scorpion''': You're next, Shang Tsung.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We've both got chips on our shoulders. '''Kung Lao''': I can knock yours off at ten meters. '''Cassie Cage''': I'll bet two to one you can't.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Allow me to introduce myself. '''Cassie Cage''': Cut the bullshit, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': Direct, just like your mother.
* '''Jax''': You are one ugly sonofabitch. '''Baraka''': Silence, Earthrealmer! '''Jax''': Those dulcet tones aren't much better.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a Revenant once more. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Sub-Zero''': Allow me to cool your anger.
* '''Kitana''': I am the last Edenian royal. '''Cassie Cage''': Maybe try democracy, Princess? '''Kitana''': You do not understand Outworld.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Vera's soul calls for you. '''Jacqui''': Keep Mama's name out of your mouth, Revenant. '''Noob Saibot''': Revenant? I am Wraith!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your mother's arms. '''Jacqui''': She's dead, asshole. '''Noob Saibot''': And her soul is mine.
* '''Jacqui''': Fought your Revenant a time or two. '''Jade''': And who was victorious, Jacqueline? '''Jacqui''': Me. Obviously.
* '''Geras''': For a cryomancer, you run hot. '''Frost''': My well of hate runs deep. '''Geras''': Deep enough for you to drown in it.
* '''Geras''': You cannot compete with me. '''Frost''': Competition is life, Geras. '''Geras''': It will be your death, Frost.
* '''Geras''': I have your father. '''Jacqui''': Give him back, you sonofabitch. '''Geras''': Comply, or you will both perish.
* '''Geras''': You cannot beat death as I can. '''Sub-Zero''': I have been resurrected before. '''Geras''': But not a thousand times.
* '''Geras''': You remind me of someone. '''Cassie Cage''': Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Helen of Troy? '''Geras''': Joan of Arc, the young martyr.
* '''Geras''': The Swarm dies today. '''D'Vorah''': Kronika still needs This One, you cog. '''Geras''': Your service is no longer required.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Sektor was a better Grandmaster. '''Sub-Zero''': He led through lies and fear. '''Shao Kahn''': They are the pillars of order.
* '''Shao Kahn''': It's too late to curry my favor. '''Baraka''': I want your head, not your favor. '''Shao Kahn''': You will have neither, Baraka.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You survived the Flesh Pits. '''Kotal Kahn''': Despite Shang Tsung's efforts, yes. '''Shao Kahn''': Yet again, he failed me.
* '''Baraka''': Tarkata demands respect, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': You'll get the back of my hand. '''Baraka''': We are done fearing you.
* '''Shao Kahn''': For twenty-five years, you've remained loyal. '''Kollector''': You are the one, true Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': {{W|Make America Great Again|Let us make Outworld great again}}.
* '''Baraka''': I despise ghosts. '''Noob Saibot''': Superstitious Tarkatan. '''Baraka''': Return to the Ten Hells!
* '''Baraka''': What shaman summoned you? '''Noob Saibot''': The dark one, Quan Chi. '''Baraka''': Be gone, demon.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Shadows do not bleed. '''Baraka''': You do and I smell it. '''Noob Saibot''': Wishful thinking, Baraka.
* '''Noob Saibot''': No true Lin Kuei could stomach you. '''Scorpion''': Does that include your brother? '''Noob Saibot''': What brother?
* '''Kollector''': We both collect, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': What is gold compared to souls? '''Kollector''': Gold buys people like you.
* '''D'Vorah''': What was it you said last time? '''Cassie Cage''': You're the bug, I'm the windshield. '''D'Vorah''': This One breaks windshields.
* '''Frost''': You are sub-human. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn surpass humans in every way. '''Frost''': Not me, D'Vorah.
* '''Kitana''': I vow to aid all Outworlders. '''D'Vorah''': Yet you disavow the Kytinn. '''Kitana''': Only you, D'Vorah.
* '''D'Vorah''': Where is your intended? '''Jacqui''': If I call, Takeda will come running. '''D'Vorah''': I suggest you do, Jacqueline Briggs.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You'll pay for Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': This One did Outworld a service. '''Shao Kahn''': And so shall I.
* '''Baraka''': There's soon to be a stabbing. '''D'Vorah''': And you will be the victim, Baraka. '''Baraka''': Shut up and die, bug!
* '''Jax''': So what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Nomadic peoples don't achieve greatness. '''Baraka''': We will never give up the old ways. '''Sub-Zero''': Then Tarkata is doomed to failure.
* '''Jax''': Gods, monsters? This shit's crazy. '''Kitana''': That's how I felt in Manhattan. '''Jax''': New York? Also crazy.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You really like Future Johnny better. '''Jacqui''': Name one person who doesn't. '''Johnny Cage''': Me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': So I was a good dad to Cass? '''Jacqui''': Once you finished all twelve steps. '''Johnny Cage''': Whoa! Hold the phone. Rehab?
* '''Shang Tsung''': Sonya's not here to save you, Jax. '''Jax''': She'll be sad she missed this smackdown. '''Shang Tsung''': She can grieve the death of her commander.
* '''Kung Lao''': Mine is the legacy of the Great Kung Lao. '''Cetrion''': His legacy was dying in defeat. '''Kung Lao''': He lives on in me, Cetrion.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''Jax''': Don't you be creeping on Jacqui. '''Shang Tsung''': I'll teach her what you never could.
* '''Erron Black''': Any chance we settle this peaceably? '''The Terminator''': No. '''Erron Black''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Hasta la vista]], [[W:hasta la vista, baby|baby.]]
* '''D'Vorah''': You threaten the Kytinn's survival. '''The Terminator''': Correct. '''D'Vorah''': Such intransigence will be your death.
* '''Sub-Zero''': The Lin Kuei will banish you. '''The Terminator''': Your clan cannot terminate me. '''Sub-Zero''': Wishful thinking, machine.
* '''D'Vorah''': Skynet and the Kytinn can coexist. '''The Terminator''': Insectoids are a greater threat than humans. '''D'Vorah''': Clever boy.
* '''Geras''': You cannot answer [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|the riddle of steel]]. '''The Terminator''': That information is not within my files. '''Geras''': Then be cast out from these realms.
* '''The Terminator''': Your mask. What's its purpose? '''Kabal''': Take it from me and I'll tell you. '''The Terminator''': All right.
* '''The Terminator''': Termination is inevitable. '''Raiden''': Only a fool is so confident of victory. '''The Terminator''': I only state facts.
* '''The Terminator''': Johnny Cage gave you a codename. '''Jade''': And just what did his lewd mind come up with? '''The Terminator''': [[True Lies|Doris]].
* '''Skarlet''': Your skin is living tissue? '''The Terminator''': Covering a metal endoskeleton. '''Skarlet''': As long as it bleeds.
* '''Kabal''': Are you sure about that? '''The Terminator''': Yes. Show me your speed. '''Kabal''': Alright then, [[w:Jingle All The Way|it's turbo time]].
* '''Scorpion''': My hellfire will incinerate your flesh. '''The Terminator''': I will not cease functioning. '''Scorpion''': It will also melt your endoskeleton.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will serve me, cyborg. '''The Terminator''': What is your mission? '''Shao Kahn''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|To crush my enemies and see them driven before me]].
* '''Geras''': We are both constructs, built to serve. '''The Terminator''': You are also a Terminator? '''Geras''': When my creator requires it.
* '''Sonya Blade''': I hear you're an automated killing machine. '''The Terminator''': Cyberdyne Systems. Model 101. '''Sonya Blade''': At least you're not a damned cyber ninja.
* '''Scorpion''': You are one of Sektor's creations. '''The Terminator''': No. Skynet built me. '''Scorpion''': Either way, you must die.
* '''Erron Black''': Now this will be a gun battle. '''The Terminator''': One that you can't win. '''Erron Black''': Big, but dumb as dirt.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a threat to Skynet. '''Erron Black''': I don't even know what the hell that is. '''The Terminator''': You will.
* '''The Terminator''': You'll take me to Sarah Connor? '''Johnny Cage''': Think of me as your [[Total Recall (1990 film)|Johnny cab]]. '''The Terminator''': [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|You lie]].
* '''Kung Lao''': You have met your match. '''The Terminator''': That statement is unsupported. '''Kung Lao''': Who knew machines could fool themselves?
* '''Jade''': Cyborgs do not scare me. '''The Terminator''': Why not? '''Jade''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|It's heart, not steel, which strengthens us]].
* '''Noob Saibot''': I could make you the perfect killer. '''The Terminator''': By improving my programming? '''Noob Saibot''': By teaching you to embrace darkness.
* '''Frost''': You'll help me fight the Lin Kuei? '''The Terminator''': Who is Lynne Quay? '''Frost''': Stupid machine.
* '''The Terminator''': Cosmetic damage will not stop me. '''Kabal''': So slicing your skin off is no biggie? '''The Terminator''': None.
* '''Raiden''': Your machine ancestors do not exist in this realm. '''The Terminator''': Then I have come to the incorrect past. '''Raiden''': You will bring no death or destruction here.
* '''Baraka''': You've never fought a Tarkatan. '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|If you bleed, I can kill you]]. '''Baraka''': Ha Ha! A delusional machine.
* '''Sonya Blade''': So you took off Quan Chi's head? '''Scorpion''': Yes, my future self did. '''Sonya Blade''': Lucky bastard.
* '''Baraka''': What did Cage teach you to call me? '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|An ugly motherfucker]]. '''Baraka''': I will eat him alive!
* '''The Terminator''': Your observation is incorrect. '''Jacqui''': You sure? That neck's pretty thick. '''The Terminator''': [[Kindergarten Cop|It is not a tumor]].
* '''Jacqui''': Is it true [[The Running Man (1987 film)|Sub-Zero's now 'plain zero']]? '''The Terminator''': My mission objective is complete. '''Jacqui''': Damn.
* '''D'Vorah''': Why does Shao Kahn value you? '''Sindel''': Why do you ask, creature? '''D'Vorah''': Because all others despise you.
* '''Sindel''': You betrayed Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Why care for that disgusting clone? '''Sindel''': She was as much my daughter as Kitana.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Your Empire picked the wrong fight. '''Sindel''': Nothing on Earthrealm can stop us. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sindel''': Pledge the Lin Kuei to me. '''Sub-Zero''': And stain my clan with dishonor? '''Sindel''': Comply or I'll help Frost depose you.
* '''Scorpion''': You are too dangerous to let live. '''Sindel''': People say much the same of you. '''Scorpion''': I could never betray my family.
* '''Shang Tsung''': We never could trust Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': For all I know, you helped him murder me. '''Shang Tsung''': When I kill people, they stay dead.
* '''Skarlet''': You hold the power of Edenia. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn wouldn't marry a weakling. '''Skarlet''': I'll bleed your power and make him mine!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your destiny is to serve the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': I would never submit to Quan Chi. '''Noob Saibot''': That is why he murdered you.
* '''Kung Lao''': What is so scary about you, besides the hair? '''Sindel''': Come closer and I'll show you. '''Kung Lao''': No time for love, crazy lady.
* '''Cetrion''': Your destiny is to balance the realms. '''Sindel''': And how will I accomplish that? '''Cetrion''': By dying.
* '''Frost''': I can train you in the assassin's art. '''Sindel''': Dear, I'm several millennia your senior. '''Frost''': Which hasn't made you wiser.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Ding, dong. The bitch is back. '''Sindel''': Who is this insufferable child? '''Cassie Cage''': Cassie the Shinnok Slayer.
* '''Raiden''': Kronika favors the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn and I will rule an eternal empire. '''Raiden''': As the minion of her son, Shinnok.
* '''Jacqui''': What do you expect from me? '''Sindel''': Flattery, service, worship. '''Jacqui''': And I thought Cass was a diva.
* '''Kano''': Well, well, I never knew. '''Sindel''': Knew what, you ugly rusting half-man? '''Kano''': Shao Kahn married such a wicked witch.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Johnny's mine, Sindel. '''Sindel''': The poor man must have no standards. '''Sonya Blade''': You could use a nip and tuck yourself, sister.
* '''Jax''': Fighting ladies? Not my thing. '''Sindel''': There are other ways to be physical. '''Jax''': Woman, I'm an officer, not some gigolo!
* '''Kabal''': Hate to bust up Shao Kahn's woman. '''Sindel''': I can break you with a scream. '''Kabal''': I'll break your sound barrier first.
* '''Sindel''': Those hook swords look like fun. '''Kabal''': The hell kinda fun you talkin' about? '''Sindel''': Dissecting Earthrealmers, of course.
* '''Sindel''': Submission is your only choice. '''Jax''': And if I don't bend a knee? '''Sindel''': My boot-heel goes through your neck.
* '''Sindel''': Once more we fight, Nightwolf. '''Nightwolf''': It ends the same, Sindel. '''Sindel''': For you, perhaps.
* '''Sindel''': Is Johnny Cage a competent lover? '''Sonya Blade''': That's none of your goddamned business. '''Sindel''': Perhaps he'll serve as my consort.
* '''Sindel''': Impudent girls get bloody bottoms. '''Cassie Cage''': Do not wanna know what you're talking about. '''Sindel''': You'll be spanked until you bleed.
* '''Sindel''': I asked to fight the greatest warrior. '''Kung Lao''': And he has appeared before you. '''Sindel''': Hm. At least you have spunk.
* '''Sindel''': Come back to your family. '''Kitana''': I'm not your 'daughter' any more. '''Sindel''': Don't deny your heritage, daughter!
* '''Sindel''': Beg for my forgiveness, traitor. '''Jade''': You no longer hold sway, Sindel. '''Sindel''': Once the Empress, always the Empress.
* '''Sindel''': You stole from the throne, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I was owed deferred compensation. '''Sindel''': Never trust a Naknadan.
* '''Sindel''': I will give you what Kronika refuses. '''Geras''': What could that possibly be? '''Sindel''': Death's sweet embrace.
* '''Sindel''': Come to me, you handsome commoner. '''Johnny Cage''': You wanna carve my face on a mountain? '''Sindel''': More like carve it to pieces.
* '''Sindel''': Submit and I'll spare your father. '''Jacqui''': Your hair grows like Pinocchio's nose when you lie? '''Sindel''': It grows whenever I kill someone.
* '''Sindel''': I laugh at you, Elder God. '''Cetrion''': I will balance Outworld. '''Sindel''': Not on my back, Cetrion.
* '''Sindel''': Trusting Kronika is foolish. '''Frost''': Not after enhancements like mine. '''Sindel''': I'll reduce them to scrap.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One can protect you from Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': You'll betray me to him, bug. '''D'Vorah''': Kotal was more easily deceived.
* '''Sindel''': You're like the daughter I never had. '''Frost''': And you're like the mother I killed. '''Sindel''': An attribute she and I won't share.
* '''Jacqui''': My name is Jacqueline Briggs. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I killed your father. '''Jacqui''': [[The Princess Bride (film)|Prepare to die.]]
* '''Sindel''': What have you seen of my history? '''Geras''': Betrayal, cruelty, corruption. '''Sindel''': A survivor's legacy, Geras.
* '''Sindel''': Earthrealmer! You will die. '''Erron Black''': Damn! That voice is sexy. '''Sindel''': Want me to scream for you?
* '''Sindel''': You are an orphaned bastard. '''Liu Kang''': Thank you for reminding me. '''Sindel''': Be gone from my presence!
* '''Sindel''': Go back to your realm, machine! '''The Terminator''': I have no way to return. '''Sindel''': Then you will die here.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Tell me something only Sindel would know. '''Sindel''': Quan Chi murdered me, right under your nose! '''Shao Kahn''': You lie, impostor.
* '''Sindel''': Quan Chi deceived you, you pathetic fool! '''Shao Kahn''': Impossible! Shao Kahn is no one's fool! '''Sindel''': You sad, embarrassing wreck of a man.
* '''Sindel''': You cannot take my throne! '''Sindel (other player)''': Your throne, your husband, everything! '''Sindel''': You'll have none of it, pretender!
* '''Sindel''': Have you ever been dominated? '''Raiden''': Are you offering, Sindel? '''Sindel''': Submit. You may enjoy it.
* '''Raiden''': So now you defend Earthrealm? '''Scorpion''': I have made a solemn vow. '''Raiden''': You will be held to it, Scorpion.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Grandma Carlton told you my secret? '''Cassie Cage''': &quot;Johnny Pee-Pants&quot;? '''Johnny Cage''': I had one accident. One!
* '''Jax''': So, what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Shang Tsung''': [[Mortal Kombat (film)|Master Boyd sends his regards.]] '''Johnny Cage''': You killed him, didn't you? '''Shang Tsung''': Your 'sensei' was helpless against me.
* '''Kabal''': Stealing my soul won't make you faster. '''Shang Tsung''': Actually, that is precisely how it works. '''Kabal''': Eh, shit.
* '''The Terminator''': I have no files on you. '''Joker''': No one does. That's the beauty of it! '''The Terminator''': Unknowns must be terminated.
* '''Joker''': You sonnuvabitch, you stole my face! '''Shang Tsung''': I could steal a lot more, Clown. '''Joker''': [[Batman (1989 film)|Never rub another man's rhubarb.]]
* '''Shang Tsung''': Why have you returned, Joker? '''Joker''': My fan boys were begging for a sequel. '''Shang Tsung''': Too bad your story ends here.
* '''Joker''': Outworld needs a Clown Prince. '''Shao Kahn''': Your entrails will feed my war dogs. '''Joker''': See, I'd fit right in!
* '''Shao Kahn''': How will you survive this encounter? '''Joker''': No one lands a punchline better. '''Shao Kahn''': Entertain me, jester.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You have a death wish, fool? '''Joker''': I'm not known for making great life choices. '''Shao Kahn''': This one will be your last.
* '''Joker''': The bigger you are, the harder you'll fall. '''Shao Kahn''': The harder I'll punish, Joker. '''Joker''': Who said you could re-write me?!
* '''Joker''': Ooo! A new groupie. '''Frost''': I'm here to kill you, not kiss you. '''Joker''': You really are a fan!
* '''Frost''': Your next stop is a slab. '''Joker''': Why give me the cold shoulder? '''Frost''': You exist, Joker.
* '''Frost''': So you're the infamous Joker. '''Joker''': The man, the myth, the legend. '''Frost''': All three die today.
* '''Joker''': There's a gal I know you would love. '''Frost''': Is she a great cryomancer? '''Joker''': She's [[w:Killer Frost|killer, Frost.]]
* '''Nightwolf''': You are far from home. '''Joker''': Is it that obvious I'm a tourist? '''Nightwolf''': And that you're a danger to all.
* '''Joker''': Manitou Raven, is that you? '''Nightwolf''': The name is Nightwolf. '''Joker''': Are you some kind of Apache chief?
* '''Nightwolf''': Your grin is unnerving. '''Joker''': That's the nicest thing I've ever been told. '''Nightwolf''': It's the last thing you'll ever hear.
* '''Joker''': I like face paint, you like war paint. '''Nightwolf''': What's your point, Joker? '''Joker''': That we could be super friends!
* '''Joker''': You're the biggest star here? '''Johnny Cage''': Or the brightest, baddest. You get the idea. '''Joker''': Let's try the 'deadest'.
* '''Joker''': Tell your producers I'll star in your next film. '''Johnny Cage''': A killer clown? Cliché city. '''Joker''': Just wait 'til they get a load of me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Time for a company move back to your universe. '''Joker''': Worried that I'll steal the show? '''Johnny Cage''': That you'll dice me into bite-sized pieces./That you'll serve me with [[The Silence of the Lambs (film)|chianti and fava beans]].
* '''Johnny Cage''': Is there a point to your evil? '''Joker''': No. Should there be? '''Johnny Cage''': I do not want to know [[Joker (2019 film)|your origin story]].
* '''Joker''': [[The Dark Knight (film)|Why so serious]], Army Girl? '''Sonya Blade''': Fought a lot of bad guys, but none like you. '''Joker''': You've saved the best for last.
* '''Joker''': You'd be prettier if you smiled. '''Sonya Blade''': You die, I smile. '''Joker''': Oh, I like you.
* '''Sonya Blade''': There a reason you've come back? '''Joker''': Don't worry. The punchline's coming soon. '''Sonya Blade''': Over my dead body, clown.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Had enough of you the first time. '''Joker''': Aww, don't like losing in graveyards? '''Sonya Blade''': Not to some face-painted freak.
* '''Joker''': We didn't meet [[w:Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe|the last time I was here]]. '''Cassie Cage''': This isn't your first visit? '''Joker''': Nobody told you? I was all the rage.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I've seen better cosplay on Hollywood Boulevard. '''Joker''': What's wrong with my sartorial flare!? '''Cassie Cage''': Step one: admit you have a problem.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you just as cute as a button. '''Cassie Cage''': And aren't you just as creepy as fuck. '''Joker''': Flattery will get you nowhere, deary.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Mom told me all about you, Joker. '''Joker''': Ooh! She must've been all smiles. '''Cassie Cage''': At the thought of me killing you, yes.
* '''Joker''': Pick quickly! Sonya or your little girl? '''Jax''': What the hell have you done, Joker?! '''Joker''': Oh [[Batman: The Killing Joke (film)|this joke's gonna kill]].
* '''Jax''': Dead or alive, you're coming with me. '''Joker''': Whatever you say, (officer/[[RoboCop]])! '''Jax''': Gonna smack that grin right off him.
* '''Jax''': I'll never forgive you, Joker. '''Joker''': Which of my crimes has your panties twisted? '''Jax''': Making Kano seem like less of a monster.
* '''Joker''': A lifetime of sacrifice, and for what? '''Jax''': The pride of serving my family and country. '''Joker''': You sound like that [[w:Superman|big, blue boy scout]].
* '''Scorpion''': Hellfire awaits, Joker. '''Joker''': As it should for the master of sick burns! '''Scorpion''': Your lunacy must die.
* '''Scorpion''': You, [[w:Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe|I remember all too well]]. '''Joker''': Aww, the back of your head still hurting? '''Scorpion''': I should've burned you right then and there.
* '''Joker''': Fancy meeting you here, Scorpy! '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero knew how to find you. '''Joker''': And how is your new cuddle buddy?
* '''Sub-Zero''': I will consign you to the coldest hell. '''Joker''': Ooh! Let me put on my snowsuit! '''Sub-Zero''': Prepare for your soul to freeze.
* '''Joker''': Your girl Frost is quite the filly. '''Sub-Zero''': She became dead to me long ago. '''Joker''': Soon she'll be dead to me, too.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are as soulless as a Cyber Lin-Kuei. '''Joker''': But they lack my gift for witty banter. '''Sub-Zero''': The realms will sleep well with you silenced.
* '''Joker''': Grandmaster Blueberry Ice, eh? '''Sub-Zero''': Only Johnny Cage may use that name and live. '''Joker''': You're hardly intimidating, snow cone.
* '''Joker''': What's with the uber-goth cosplay. '''Noob Saibot''': I am death personified. '''Joker''': You look like death warmed over.
* '''Joker''': Care to compare body counts? '''Noob Saibot''': Yours cannot possibly exceed mine. '''Joker''': Oh my dear boy, Look me up.
* '''Noob Saibot''': The Brotherhood of Shadow is not interested. '''Joker''': Trust me, you could use some comic relief. '''Noob Saibot''': You are beneath us, Joker.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no soul. '''Joker''': I have two, one on each shoe! '''Noob Saibot''': Your 'humor' will die with you.
* '''Joker''': My congratulations to the bride. '''Jacqui''': You know about me and Takeda? '''Joker''': Pain makes your fiancée very chatty.
* '''Jacqui''': Just who are you under the make up? '''Joker''': That's the million dollar question, dearie. '''Jacqui''': How about I shoot it off, and we'll see.
* '''Jacqui''': Dad gave everything, fighting guys like you. '''Joker''': And how did that work out for him? '''Jacqui''': His pain is no joke.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you a vixen. '''Jacqui''': I'm off limits, Joker. '''Joker''': As if I respect boundaries.
* '''Joker''': Those blades, those teeth! '''Baraka''': Realizing the ways I can kill you? '''Joker''': The bucks I'll make selling them in Gotham.
* '''Baraka''': Now I remember you. '''Joker''': It's awfully hard to forget this face. '''Baraka''': I plan to wear it.
* '''Baraka''': What are you supposed to be? '''Joker''': Some call me the Harlequin of Hate. '''Baraka''': You'll make a good snack.
* '''The Joker''': I'm sorry, are you slobbering? '''Baraka''': Because I'm about to taste human flesh. '''The Joker''': Ha ha! The joke's on you.
* '''Joker''': I thought lightning never strikes twice. '''Raiden''': In your case, I will make an exception. '''Joker''': Promise?
* '''Raiden''': I will banish you to Chaosrealm? '''Joker''': Chaos? Now you're talking! '''Raiden''': Be gone, jester!
* '''Raiden''': Your humor eludes me. '''Joker''': I imagine most things do, Blunder God. '''Raiden''': You will be silent!
* '''Joker''': Say hello to your new Chosen One! '''Raiden''': I choose to finish you, Joker. '''Joker''': Well you don't have to be rude!
* '''Joker''': D'Vorah, the entomologist's dream. '''D'Vorah''': No human will study This One, Joker. '''Joker''': You'll look spiffy, pinned to a wall.
* '''Jade''': I've never met someone so horrid. '''Joker''': Oh sweetie, it was just a joke. '''Jade''': You killed millions of people!
* '''Sindel''': You may have the privilege of serving me. '''Joker''': (laughs maniacally) '''Sindel''': Did I say something funny?
* '''Sindel''': What a foul miscreant. '''Joker''': Butter me up, why don't you. '''Sindel''': I'll roast your head on a spit.
* '''Joker''': I love your flair for the dramatic. '''Sindel''': Speak again, knave, and I'll punish you. '''Joker''': Please do.
* '''Joker''': To what do I owe this privilege? '''Sindel''': That sick joke targeting me and Shao Kahn. '''Joker''': You have to admit it was funny.
* '''Spawn''': Together we can purge the Ten Hells. '''Scorpion''': Only if you follow my lead. '''Spawn''': All due respect, that's not in the cards.
* '''Spawn''': You've been to other dimensions? '''Scorpion''': Each has had its own [[Injustice: Gods Among Us|injustices]]. '''Spawn''': Maybe that's why my [[Soulcalibur II|soul still burns]].
* '''Jax''': Nobody questions my loyalty. '''Spawn''': There's a snake in every operation. '''Jax''': [[wikipedia:Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'|You wanna be startin' somethin'?]] (Michael Jackson reference)
* '''Spawn''': I've toppled dictators before. '''Sindel''': You mean to kill Shao Kahn. '''Spawn''': No, he's a puppet. You pull the strings.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One likes you, for a Warm Blood. '''Spawn''': Careful, my blood burns. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn prefer spicy flavors.
* '''Spawn''': No more jokes, no more laughs. '''Joker''': Sounds like you've got a case of the grumps! '''Spawn''': I fucking hate clowns.
* '''Spawn''': Kiss Jade goodbye. '''Kotal Kahn''': Not while I draw breath. '''Spawn''': Draw your last.
* '''Spawn''': A man who can never die. '''Geras''': Against a man who can never live. '''Spawn''': Aren't we a pair?
* '''Jacqui''': I don't trust folks who deal with devils. '''Spawn''': I've killed all my devils. '''Jacqui''': Not sure that's any better.
* '''Baraka''': Your meat smells burned. '''Spawn''': Try deep-fried in Hellfire. '''Baraka''': Eh, that passes for edible.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is the Beijing opera in town? '''Spawn''': I'm here to stop Shinnok's revival. '''Kung Lao''': Seems more like you're about to start one.
* '''Spawn''': Imagine Outworld free of slaves. '''Shao Kahn''': Over my dead body. '''Spawn''': Today's the day, skull-fucker.
* '''Spawn''': You have a serious Netherrealm problem. '''Kung Lao''': We don't need help from freelance demons. '''Spawn''': That's exactly what you need!
* '''The Terminator''': Your guns and your cape. [[The Terminator|Give them to me]]. '''Spawn''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|You forgot to say please.]] '''The Terminator''': It was not a request.
* '''The Terminator''': What model are you? '''RoboCop''': I'm a cop, Terminator. '''The Terminator''': I am not subject to human law.
* '''RoboCop''': Haven't we done this before? '''The Terminator''': I have no record of a previous encounter. '''RoboCop''': We have met. I am sure of it.
* '''RoboCop''': Machines are either a benefit or hazard. '''The Terminator''': Which am I? '''RoboCop''': Were you a benefit, you wouldn't be my problem.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a machine. '''RoboCop''': I identify as human. '''The Terminator''': Then you choose termination.
* '''RoboCop''': Why did you contact me? '''Shang Tsung''': To see if I could enlist your services. '''RoboCop''': I cannot aid or abet criminal actions.
* '''Shang Tsung''': What is this supposed to be? '''RoboCop''': I'm taking you in, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': You're not from around here, are you?
* '''RoboCop''': Freeze! Put your hands up. '''Shang Tsung''': I sense this is no amicable visit. '''RoboCop''': You are under arrest, Shang Tsung.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''RoboCop''': It's my duty, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': My actions are not your concern. '''RoboCop''': Even you must obey the law. '''Shao Kahn''': [[Judge Dredd (film)|I am the law]], fool!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You are a peace officer? '''RoboCop''': I am sworn to protect and serve. '''Shao Kahn''': Such wasted potential.
* '''RoboCop''': Turn over the Kollector. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha ha! Over my dead body. '''RoboCop''': Lethal force protocol engaged.
* '''RoboCop''': I do not usually confront dictators. '''Shao Kahn''': You should be bowing and scraping. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''RoboCop''': You could have saved yourself this trouble. '''Frost''': I have no regrets. '''RoboCop''': Someday, you will.
* '''Frost''': That armor won't save you. '''RoboCop''': I am built to tolerate extreme cold. '''Frost''': Extreme cold, but not Frost cold.
* '''Frost''': I obey no law but mine. '''RoboCop''': If everyone did that, there would be anarchy. '''Frost''': Exactly.
* '''RoboCop''': Frost. You've broken too many laws to count. '''Frost''': I do what I want, when I want. '''RoboCop''': Are you ready to face the consequences?
* '''Nightwolf''': The Great Spirit asked me to help you. '''RoboCop''': How can you help me, Nightwolf? '''Nightwolf''': By training you in the ways of kombat.
* '''Nightwolf''': I'm not surprised Kano eludes you. '''RoboCop''': Because I'm an inferior officer? '''Nightwolf''': Because he's a superior devil.
* '''RoboCop''': You were once a petty criminal. '''Nightwolf''': Who paid, long ago, for his crimes. '''RoboCop''': Have you been reformed?
* '''RoboCop''': Kano has also broken your people's laws? '''Nightwolf''': Too many times, he has defiled the Matoka. '''RoboCop''': He must be held to account.
* '''RoboCop''': You're done making trouble. '''The Joker''': You'll have to catch me first, officer. '''RoboCop''': Dead or alive, you are coming with me.
* '''RoboCop''': Come quietly, Joker. '''The Joker''': Or what, Dodo Cop? '''RoboCop''': There will be trouble.
* '''The Joker''': Just think of this as a game. '''RoboCop''': You're here to play? '''The Joker''': I'm cashing you out.
* '''The Joker''': A new toy! Can I play? '''RoboCop''': You're under arrest, Joker. '''The Joker''': Oh, goody! Cops and robbers.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You ever consider doing movies? '''RoboCop''': Are you serious? '''Johnny Cage''': Absolutely. Can you sing?
* '''Johnny Cage''': Part man. Part machine. All cop. '''RoboCop''': That is correct. '''Johnny Cage''': Please tell me no one's signed you.
* '''RoboCop''': How can I help you, Cage? '''Johnny Cage''': Research! I'm a robot cop in my next blockbuster. '''RoboCop''': What do you want to know?
* '''RoboCop''': Your police films are unrealistic. '''Johnny Cage''': Fans don't want real, they want BOOM! '''RoboCop''': It's a disservice to the public.
* '''Sonya Blade''': You're hiding things from us. '''RoboCop''': Some of my directives are classified. '''Sonya Blade''': Allies don't keep secrets.
* '''RoboCop''': Planning on taking me down? '''Sonya Blade''': Pushing you to be all you can be. '''RoboCop''': Thank you for the assistance.
* '''RoboCop''': Kano is coming with me. '''Sonya Blade''': Can it, Tinhead. '''RoboCop''': Let's keep this professional, Lieutenant.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Surrender Kano to the Special Forces. '''RoboCop''': He's my prisoner, Lieutenant. '''Sonya Blade''': Gonna wish you hadn't said that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': There something wrong, Murphy? '''RoboCop''': My targeting system is a little messed up. '''Cassie Cage''': We can get that fixed.
* '''RoboCop''': You are Johnny Cage's daughter? '''Cassie Cage''': Ha! Shocked I'm not some Beverly Hills brat? '''RoboCop''': Yes.
* '''RoboCop''': Aren't you young to be commander? '''Cassie Cage''': I've got game, old-timer. Just try me. '''RoboCop''': Your call.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I hear you have some new tricks. '''RoboCop''': Your Special Forces has given me upgrades. '''Cassie Cage''': Show me what you've got!
* '''RoboCop''': Your arms need an upgrade? '''Jax''': Think OCP can help me out? '''RoboCop''': You do not want them to own you.
* '''RoboCop''': I have been told about a cop here named Stryker. '''Jax''': He wasn't just a cop. He was Super Cop. '''RoboCop''': It's too bad I cannot meet him.
* '''Jax''': So you're after Kano, too? '''RoboCop''': He's wanted for many crimes on my Earth. '''Jax''': Damn, that guy gets around.
* '''Jax''': You got any original parts left? '''RoboCop''': Just what's under the helmet. '''Jax''': And I thought losing my arms was bad.
* '''Spawn''': So your ass got resurrected, too. '''RoboCop''': For the company's benefit, not mine. '''Spawn''': It's a special kind of hell, isn't it?
* '''Spawn''': There still a man under all that shit? '''RoboCop''': Bad language makes for bad feelings. '''Spawn''': Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.
* '''RoboCop''': How is it you know me? '''Spawn''': I know all damned souls, Murphy. '''RoboCop''': Malebolgia won't have mine.
* '''RoboCop''': Cease and desist, Spawn. '''Spawn''': Vigilantes get you all worked up? '''RoboCop''': All must obey the law.
* '''Scorpion''': Your wife and son? '''RoboCop''': They are lost to me now. '''Scorpion''': The same pain sears both our hearts.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you avenge your murder? '''RoboCop''': My killers are dead, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': That is true justice.
* '''RoboCop''': Allow me to search the Fire Gardens. '''Scorpion''': You will not find Kano among the Shirai Ryu. '''RoboCop''': I must be certain.
* '''RoboCop''': We do not have to do this. '''Scorpion''': All cyborgs are abominations. '''RoboCop''': You have no proof for that charge.
* '''RoboCop''': What crimes have you planned? '''Noob Saibot''': Judging me by my appearance? '''RoboCop''': By your history, Bi-Han.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your fate is sealed by a curse. '''RoboCop''': What do you mean? '''Noob Saibot''': Doomed is your soul, damned is your life.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have crossed my line of death. '''RoboCop''': It is not game over yet. '''Noob Saibot''': All that's left is your demise.
* '''RoboCop''': I have faced death before. '''Noob Saibot''': Your creators won't restore you this time. '''RoboCop''':  They'll fix me. They fix everything.
* '''RoboCop''': How are Tarkatan laws enforced? '''Baraka''' With gnashing teeth and sharpened blades. '''RoboCop''': I would not call that justice.
* '''RoboCop''': A monster like you should be locked up. '''Baraka''': You won't be the one to do it. '''RoboCop''': You are coming with me.
* '''Baraka''': What in the Ten Hells are you? '''RoboCop''': The future of law enforcement. '''Baraka''': Ha! You'll soon be a scrap heap.
* '''Baraka''': My blades will shred your metal. '''RoboCop''': Assaulting an officer is a felony. '''Baraka''': You won't live to report my 'crime'.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Did your creators extinguish your soul? '''RoboCop''': Despite their best efforts, no? '''Sub-Zero''': You may yet still be worthy of the Lin Kuei.
* '''RoboCop''': I need help to catch Kano. '''Raiden''': First, prove yourself worthy of the Order of Light. '''RoboCop''': If I must.
* '''RoboCop''': You would like to test my abilities? '''Raiden''': To determine the goodness of your soul. '''RoboCop'''': Through kombat?
* '''Raiden''': What brings you to Earthrealm, officer? '''RoboCop''': I am pursuing a fugitive named Kano. '''Raiden''': Do not let your search disturb our peace.
* '''Raiden''': Join us against Kronika. '''RoboCop''': I have my own home to protect and serve. '''Raiden''': You disappoint me, Alex Murphy.
* '''Kitana'''F: Your pursuit of Kano ends at our border. '''RoboCop''': I have to go where the trail leads me. '''Kitana''': Outworld won't recognize your authority.
* '''Kano''': You supposed to be Super Cop?. '''RoboCop''': I'm Officer Alex Murphy. '''Kano''': You're a dead man, you yobbo.
* '''Skarlet''': You're making assumptions about me, officer. '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Skarlet''': I'm not evil, just hungry.
* '''Skarlet''': I cannot smell your blood. '''RoboCop''': There is little left of me that's organic. '''Skarlet''': Then killing you won't cure my hunger.
* '''Sindel''': Why patrol the streets, when you can serve me? '''RoboCop''': That is not a privilege I need. '''Sindel''': My dear officer, you don't have a choice.
* '''RoboCop''': I know all about you. '''Sindel''': Then bow to me with the required reverence. '''RoboCop''': I am taking you in, Sindel.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I am not bound by your laws. '''RoboCop''': You have twenty seconds to comply.
* '''RoboCop''': The answer is no, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': What virtue is there in resistance? '''RoboCop''': I cannot function outside of my prime directives.
* '''Sheeva''': Abandon Malebolgia and serve me. '''Spawn''': You always get what you want? '''Sheeva''': I can be very persuasive.
* '''Sheeva''': Kintaro? Goro? Do they live? '''Sheeva (other player)''': They are both dead, in my timeline. '''Sheeva''': I knew they were the weaker links.
* '''Mileena''': Mother wants us to live as sisters. '''Kitana''': Further proof that she's lost her mind. '''Mileena''': Come. Let us be a family.
* '''Kitana''': Begone, Mileena! '''Mileena''': You would banish me, sister? '''Kitana''': No. I will finish you.
* '''Kitana''': Stay away from Liu Kang. '''Mileena''': Afraid your new lover will prefer me? '''Kitana''': That you'll eat him, Mileena.
* '''Rambo''': Don't start a war you can't win. '''Mileena''': Speaking from experience? '''Rambo''': Yeah.
* '''Rambo''': I've heard you're a freak. '''Mileena''': By whom?! I'll eat them alive! '''Rambo''': Guess I heard right.
* '''Mileena''': You turned down my father. '''Rambo''': That's because I'm no aggressor. '''Mileena''': Either conquer, or be conquered.
* '''Mileena''': You're a dangerous man. '''Rambo''': Only when people push me. '''Mileena''': As you wish.
* '''Spawn''': I'll give you a bad case of indigestion. '''Mileena''': I'll risk it, to have a bite. '''Spawn''': Do it -- you'll pay for it.
* '''Spawn''': Out of my way, lady. '''Mileena''': Only if you best me in kombat. '''Spawn''': Bring it.
* '''Mileena''': You object to Shao Kahn? '''Spawn''': Half the Empire lives in slavery. '''Mileena''': Eventually, all will serve him.
* '''Mileena''': What did you do to my father?! '''Spawn''': I sent him to oblivion. '''Mileena''': You will join him, Hellspawn!
* '''Mileena''': You Shaolin are so arrogant. '''Kung Lao''': Actually Mileena, that is just me. '''Mileena''': I will enjoy devouring your ego.
* '''Kung Lao''': You do know that everyone prefers Kitana to you. '''Mileena''': Not my father, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A man not known for his intelligence.
* '''Kung Lao''': Skarlet, D'Vorah, you. I can't choose. '''Mileena''': Choose what, human? '''Kung Lao''': Who is the creepiest woman of Outworld.
* '''The Terminator''': According to my files, you are unique. '''Mileena''': Your files are correct. '''The Terminator''': Then your death is also extinction.
* '''Jax''': We have Shang Tsung to thank for you? '''Mileena''': Who else but the great sorcerer? '''Jax''': Reason number 5000 that man is on my shit list.
* '''Jade''': The unholy abomination. '''Mileena''': Greets the bootlicking sycophant. '''Jade''': For Kitana Kahn, you will die.
* '''Fujin''': Shao Kahn will not retake the throne. '''Mileena''': My father is inevitable, Fujin. '''Fujin''': Under the weight of my wind, he will snap.
* '''Erron Black''': Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad? '''Mileena''': When I gained the throne, you abandoned it. '''Erron Black''': Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.
* '''Mileena''': A coin for your thoughts, Erron? '''Erron Black''': Just trying to reckon why the hell you're back. '''Mileena''': A million souls cried out for my return.
* '''Cetrion''': Your dual nature is Kronika's gift. '''Mileena''': But it was Shang Tsung who created me. '''Cetrion''': Whom do you think inspired him?
* '''Jacqui''': Didn't lose a wink after watching you die. '''Mileena''': Nor will I, after eviscerating your corpse. '''Jacqui''': And that right there is why.
* '''Cetrion''': I see the fire in your eyes, Mileena. '''Mileena''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Kronika altered our deal!]] '''Cetrion''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Pray she does not alter it further.]]
* '''Mileena''': You weren't helping me, you were using me! '''Rain''': And you were a most useful idiot. '''Mileena''': (snarling)
* '''Rain''': Direct your anger at Tanya, Mileena. '''Mileena''': It was you who betrayed me, not her! '''Rain''': Think, Mileena. Who introduced us?
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not poke the Hive, Mileena. '''Mileena''': I will wipe it from the face of Outworld. '''D'Vorah''': The Kytinn are many, you are one.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One is displeased by your presence. '''Mileena''': Then you'll be happy I'm ending your life. '''D'Vorah''': It is you who dies today, Mileena.
* '''Kabal''': Bullshit you can imitate Kitana, not with that mouth. '''Mileena''': (imitating Kitana) Now do you believe, Kabal? '''Kabal''': How in the hell is that possible?
* '''Mileena''': We both despise D'Vorah. '''Johnny Cage''': Doesn't mean we'll make a buddy picture. '''Mileena''': Just think of the possibilities.
* '''Mileena''': I want the Hourglass. '''Geras''': It is beyond your feeble mind to control it. '''Mileena''': Ha! What little you know, construct.
* '''Liu Kang''': You are more like Sindel than Kitana. '''Mileena''': You flatter me, Shaolin. '''Liu Kang''': No, Mileena. Not at all.
* '''Liu Kang''': Serving Shao Kahn is folly. '''Mileena''': One day I will inherit his empire. '''Liu Kang''': It is doomed to collapse, Mileena.
* '''RoboCop''': I never anticipated this fight. '''Mileena''': Do I make you nervous? '''RoboCop''': No.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Mileena''': I'll turn myself in. Trust me. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''Mileena''': What caused you to track me down? '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Mileena''': It is my sister you seek, not me.
* '''Kano''': Well color me gobsmacked. You and Tanya? '''Mileena''': Name your price, Kano. I must avenge her. '''Kano''': Because it's personal, it's gonna cost extra.
* '''Sindel''': Daughter, welcome! '''Mileena''': You accept me as Kitana's sister? '''Sindel''': As her replacement, should you pass this test.
* '''Sindel''': You disappoint me, Mileena. '''Mileena''': How have I offended you, mother? '''Sindel''': The Shaolin monk still lives.
* '''Scorpion''': You choose enemies poorly. '''Mileena''': You're right, this will be too easy. '''Scorpion''': Burn in hellfire, Mileena.
* '''Scorpion''': Clones are worse than Cyber Lin Kuei. '''Mileena''': Why so vehement, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': You are a perversion of nature.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Mileena. '''Mileena''': Osh-Tekk Usurper! '''Kotal Kahn''': Outworld's deliverer.
* '''Mileena''': Pledge fealty to Shao Kahn's daughter. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch. '''Mileena''': On your knees, Earthrealmer!
* '''Sonya Blade''': Shao Kahn can't be far behind you. '''Mileena''': And there's nothing in your arsenal that can stop him. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sheeva''': You and your mother are queens of deception. '''Mileena''': Lies are the ultimate weapon. '''Sheeva''': Your war on truth will be defeated!
* '''Skarlet''': I can smell your half-breed blood. '''Mileena''': The mixture is unappealing? '''Skarlet''': No, Mileena. It is tantalizing.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So technically, you're Kitana's sister? '''Mileena''': At least until I end her life. '''Cassie Cage''': Thank God I'm an only child.
* '''Mileena''': You aided Kotal Kahn against me. '''Cassie Cage''': Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast. '''Mileena''': For that, I will devour your flesh!
* '''Frost''': How did you become Kahn? '''Mileena''': I was my father's rightful heir! '''Frost''': But too weak to hold the throne.
* '''Mileena''': But for you, Tanya would be alive. '''Rain''': I am not to blame for your failed rebellion. '''Mileena''': It was your plan, Rain!
* '''Mileena''': My sister is now Kahn?! '''Jade''': And she rules Outworld justly and with grace. '''Mileena''': How dare she destroy my empire!
* '''Frost''': What's on your dirty mind? '''Rain''': I need someone cool to rule my world. (Prince reference) '''Frost''': That's some fantasy, but it's not mine.
* '''Rain''': You must miss being Kahnum. '''Mileena''': I enjoyed its glamorous life. (Prince reference) '''Rain''': A pity you won't have it again.
* '''Jax''': We've got you surrounded, Rain. '''Rain''': Then shall we begin the party? '''Jax''': Party's over. You're out of time. (Prince reference)
* '''The Joker''': We meet again, sweet prince! '''Rain''': This time we battle to the last. '''The Joker''': (laughs) Let's go crazy! (Prince reference)
* '''Cetrion''': Argus has made mistakes. '''Rain''': The first was denying that I'm his son! '''Cetrion''': His first was fathering you.
* '''Kung Lao''': You cannot defeat me. '''Rain''': I will rain death upon you, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': Good thing I brought a hat.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is it true Edenians worship you? '''Rain''': Those that do, are blessed with my faith. '''Kung Lao''': Their faith is misplaced.
* '''Liu Kang''': It is time we settle this, Rain. '''Rain''': Persist, and risk a god's wrath. '''Liu Kang''': Note how I tremble in fear.
* '''Fujin''': I knew your father, Rain. '''Rain''': Then acknowledge my godhood. '''Fujin''': You are unworthy to be his heir.
* '''Spawn''': Ambition's got its hook into you bad. '''Rain''': Here to keep me down? '''Spawn''': No, to bury you in hell.
* '''Spawn''': Still pissed at your father, aren't you? '''Rain''': Argus should have trusted me to rule Edenia. '''Spawn''': He saw through your shit just like I do.
* '''Shang Tsung''': I will torment you for eternity. '''Rain''': You would be killed in the attempt, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You could have served, Rain. '''Rain''': I would much rather steal your empire. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha! You fool.
* '''Cassie Cage''': How about that. Another wannabe emperor. '''Rain''': It's not wise to insult a god. '''Cassie Cage''': It's the least I'm doing to you.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So what's your problem with Earthrealm? '''Rain''': All of its denizens are beneath me, woman. '''Cassie Cage''': And the award for &quot;Most Pretentious Prick&quot; goes to.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain. '''Rain''': Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer? '''Cassie Cage''': Everybody forgets how to fucking drive.
* '''Cassie Cage''': You're pretty high on yourself, Rain. '''Rain''': Should I not be? I'm a god. '''Cassie Cage''': You sure you and dad aren't twins?
* '''Rain''': You are not divine. '''Cassie Cage''': And yet, your ass is still mine. '''Rain''': You will choke on your hubris.
* '''Kabal''': So who the hell names their kid &quot;Rain&quot;? '''Rain''': Do not dare insult my mother! '''Kabal''': She didn't do you any favors, friend!
* '''Kotal Kahn''': You have not yet suffered for your rebellion. '''Rain''': Nor will I ever, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Today, you will face Osh-Tekk justice.
* '''Rambo''': You're full of shit. '''Rain''': Truly, I have no designs on your Earth. '''Rambo''': Guys like you are never satisfied.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a half god. '''Rain''': The first born son of Argus. '''Sub-Zero''': That claim holds no water.
* '''RoboCop''': You betrayed Kotal Kahn to Mileena. '''Rain''': Given the chance, I would have betrayed her. '''RoboCop''': You are not to be trusted.
* '''D'Vorah''': Argus himself found you unworthy. '''Rain''': No, my father feared me, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Then you are fortunate he let you live.
* '''Skarlet''': You do not respect me. '''Rain''': You are of the streets, I am of the heavens. '''Skarlet''': I will bleed out your ego.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Kronika sure has it in for you. '''Rain''': Because I laughed at her ludicrous offer. '''Sonya Blade''': That makes two of us.
* '''Kitana''': What happened to Tanya? '''Rain''': For her treason, Kotal killed her. '''Kitana''': You face the same punishment, Rain.
* '''Geras''': The bastard son of Argus. '''Rain''': I am his heir, Geras. '''Geras''': Not in this, or any other timeline.

== Voice cast ==
* Ron Yuan as Scorpion
* Steve Blum as Sub-Zero, Baraka
** Dimitri 'Vegas' Thivaios as Dimitri Vegas Sub-Zero
* Andrew Bowen as Johnny Cage
** [[Linden Ashby]] as 1995 Johnny Cage
* Richard Epcar as Raiden, The Joker
** [[Christopher Lambert]] as 1995 Raiden
* Phil LaMarr as Kotal Kahn
* Troy Baker as Erron Black, Shinnok
* [[Ronda Rousey]] as Sonya Blade
** [[Bridgette Wilson]] as 1995 Sonya Blade
* Erica Lindbeck as Cassie Cage
* Megalyn Echikunwoke as Jacqui Briggs
* William C. Stephens as Jax
* Kari Wahlgren as Kitana, Mileena
* Andrew Morgado as Kollector
* Beata Poźniak as Skarlet
* Sunil Malhotra as Kung Lao
* Matthew Yang King as Liu Kang, Fujin
* Mela Lee as Jade
* Dave B. Mitchell as Geras, Sektor
* Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Cetrion
* Sara Cravens as Frost
* Vanessa Marshall as Sheeva
* Jonathan Cahill as Kabal
* Kelly Hu as D'Vorah
* Ike Amadi as Shao Kahn, Cyrax
* Sean Chiplock as Noob Saibot, Kharon
* JB Blanc as Kano
* Jennifer Hale as Kronika
* Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa as Shang Tsung
* Daniel Lujan as Nightwolf
* Chris Cox as The Terminator
* Mara Junot as Sindel
* Keith David as Spawn
* Peter Weller as RoboCop
* Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo
* Dempsey Pappion as Rain

==External links==


{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2019 video games]]</text>
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'''''[[w:Mortal Kombat 11|Mortal Kombat 11]]''''' is a 2019 fighting video game and a sequel to 2015's ''[[Mortal Kombat X]]''.

==Arcade Endings==
*'''Baraka''': Kronika's power was mine, mine to share with the tribe! In the new timeline I built, Tarkatans would be slaves no more. We would rule. We easily took Edenia, then Outworld and the Netherrealm. Last we challenged Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat. Within a thousand years, all realms fell to Tarkatan blade... And we have not run out of meat since! (''Laughing Evilly'')
*'''Cassie Cage''': For the second time in my life, I kicked the living shit out of an immortal. My prize? The Hourglass. Now I can change history! Talk about ridonkulous cosmic power. But despite what you may think about Beverly Hills girls, that is SO not my style. The Chosen One thing is for the Liu Kangs and Kitanas of the world. In the next timeline, all I want is to be a model soldier. To command the next generation of Special Forces. We were born to defend Earthrealm! Just like the heroes that inspired me...my parents. Okay, so there's one more thing I want: My mom back. Not just for me, but for dad. He and my mom deserve a happily-ever-after retirement. We'll never know how different things were the last time around. But we'll be together. A family. And that's all that matters.
*'''Cetrion''': Though I denied their truth, eventually I realized the wisdom of Liu Kang's words. There is virtue greater than my mother's desired balance. Good must be allowed to flourish. But no matter how I reshaped time, rooting out evil proved impossible. Though freed from want, mortals still killed each other. Divided by realm and race, they easily justified their hate. Hubris, greed, envy. To appreciate my gifts, mortal sins must be cleansed. Which is why I baptize the realms with fire. For eons mortals will battle evil, eventually achieving victory. And when they emerge from the darkness, they will be humbled. Eager to embrace the light.
*'''D'Vorah''': Vermin. That is the humanoid word for the Kytinn and our fellow insectoids. But with the Hourglass, This One can review history and give lie to that myth. Humanoids live to kill. Without a common enemy to fight, they divide. Destroy each other. Insectoids live to survive. No conflicts divide us. We build upon each other. Kin does not kill kin. So tell This One... Who are the vermin? Time for This One to write a more just history. One in which pesky humanoids finally take the place they deserve... Scrambling beneath our feet.
*'''Erron Black''': Truth be told it surprised me, putting down Kronika. Not bad for a scrawny kid from Wickett. Now that it's done, now what? I don't cotton to being Lord of Time, stuck on some island at the edge of nowhere. No, Erron Black likes being in the thick of it. Seems to me, time oughta stay all mashed up. It's been a hell of a ride. Gotta keep these thrills coming. Which means makin' sure no one gets a chance to screw this up. Once the hourglass gets dumped in the Sea of Blood, ain't no one ever shaping history again. What happens next? Hell if I know. And that's just the way I like it.
*'''Frost''': Sub-Zero dismissed me. Raiden dismissed me. They all did, even Kronika. Until I froze the smug looks off all their faces and became the Lin Kuei's new Grandmaster. The Hourglass offers even greater prospects. With it, I'll mold history to carve my name on everyone's lips. But even its power has limits. My vision can be upended by people's individual choices. Unlike Kronika, I won't let these imperfections fester until time itself must be restarted. The Lin Kuei will be my time warriors. Travelling through history, they'll get rid of those whose actions threaten my vision. From now on, no one will overlook my greatness. I'll never be dismissed again.
*'''Fujin''': As the new Keeper of Time, I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Who was I to design the destinies of mortals? As their protector, I had spent eons safeguarding them. But while I had grown to appreciate mortals deeply... ...I understood precious little about their daily existence. So I used the Hourglass to live hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. They spanned the possibilities of realm, race, gender, and faith. Most importantly, I learned the simple joy of ending each day in the warm embrace of family. Humbled by my new wisdom, I bend the arc of history not to my will, but to the service of those who must live it. While it is beyond my power to guarantee outcomes, I will give mortals the chance to have better, more peaceful lives.
*'''Geras''': Kronika's endless cycle of rewinding and restarting timelines had destroyed my spirit. But she refused to grant me either freedom or death. So I took her power to do what she could not. I would create one final, perfect timeline. Then, I would rest. But the task was more difficult than I imagined. Mortals refused to follow the paths I set for them. Timeline after timeline, my frustration grew. I began to understand why Kronika had been driven to madness. Perhaps mortals do not need a Lord of Time. I will sacrifice my body and my mantle to re-sculpt the Sands so that the Hourglass runs itself. And for the first time in all eternity. I can rest.... In peace.
*'''Jacqui Briggs''': The Hourglass was there for the taking, and I can think of only one thing: Dad. Killed, made a Revenant, resurrected. Since coming back, Dad's never forgotten the things he did for Quan Chi. I thought with the hourglass, I could fix all that. And I can. Dad won't die in that massacre. He'll never be a Revenant. But turns out, what my gut's told me since the start of all this is true. Dad and mom got together when he was in treatment. He doesn't suffer, they don't meet. And I'll never be born. And you know what? I'm good with that. I'm not just protecting Dad. I'm protecting everyone he'll risk his life to save. In my shoes, it's what he would. It's what he would. It's what a Briggs does. I know you'll never hear this, but goodbye Dad. I love you.
*'''Jade''': I held the power to shape time and destiny, but I was lost. Which Kahn should be restored - my lover, Kotal, or my loyal friend, Kitana? I heard Kotal's voice call out to me--Follow your heart, Jade. So I let my heart lead, and it took me to an unexpected place... a faint memory of home and... My mother. I restored my parents and Edenia, building a new era without Shao Kahn! And what a happy childhood I enjoyed... But as I matured, I sensed that I was no ordinary child. Kronika's power dwelled within me... Calling me to a higher purpose. When I came of age, I ascended to godhood as the Protector of Edenia. Armed with the knowledge of past timelines, I challenged Shinnok and Cetrion. Without Kronika's children pitting the realms against each other, all could be at peace. And remain so, under my watchful eyes.
*'''Jax''': All I wanted was to fix my life. Now I have the power to fix history. Raiden warns me, I can't fix everything. Change to much and I could lose Vera. Lose Jacqui. But this power's bigger than us. If I think only about helping myself, what kind of officer am I? What kind of man? I've been lucky. My family and I have lived the American Dream. But most people who look like me haven't had that chance. I owe it to them to put things right. And I'm not waiting centuries for people to get woke, when I've got the power to speed things up. I don't get it right the first time. Or the second. Or even the third. But eventually, I knock it out of the damn park. My family's back. The world's a better place for everyone. Turns out you CAN have everything. Anyone who says you can't, needs to dream bigger.
*'''Johnny Cage''': This whole adventure? Capital 'I' insane. I marry Sonya? Have a kid who actually likes me? Enquiring minds want to know how the hell that happens! So I get the Hourglass to show me how kicking Shinnok's ass, which I did beautifully, turned me from Hollywood mega-star into global icon. So far, so good. Until I let that fame screw me up. Didn't hit rock bottom until I saw just how badly I'd let down my little girl. I finally got what Old Man Me was saying about needing humility and maturity. But I also knew I couldn't get there without living the same life he did. So I restored the timeline, just as it was. With one, tiny little difference... Sonya's story won't end underneath the rubble of some busted-up Netherrealm castle. Because Johnny Cage flicks always have happy endings.
*'''Joker''': This was my dream vacation. I saw mayhem. Mutilation. It was all a gas... ...for a while. But these nincompoops? They didn't really GET me. Not even that pretty boy, Ninja Mime. Good night, sweet prince! I'd &quot;finished&quot; just about everyone worth finishing in Earthrealm and Outworld. Even loveable old Netherrealm. I was a lonely heart in search of new friends. But as luck would have it, I had just the gizmo to find them: [gushing] And oh, the Hourglass spoiled me! Havik and I are going to be bosom buddies. And what's that? My new pal knows an entire realm devoted to law and order? And he exists solely to disrupt it? Well I say, he and I need to get busy! Meet the League of Misunderstood Maniacs! We're giving Orderrealm an enema. And when we're done, who knows where we'll crash next. Maybe we'll come to your house and slip live grenades under your pillow. Maybe we'll gut your favorite pet. Or maybe we'll just... ...break your TV right now! [maniacal laughter]
*'''Kabal''': Shit sounds cool right? The power to control time. Immortality. Destiny. Well let me tell ya, this job sucks. There's no pay, no weekends, and your shift lasts forever. The only smart play is to turn back time and give it back to Kronika. Bet your ass she's grateful, too! I didn't ask for much. Just a chance to take out anyone who's ever tried to burn me. Black Dragon was always more a gig than a brotherhood, anyway. Now I get to live large, enjoying the simple life of a well-to-do family man. And if Shao Kahn or Shinnok ever come knocking, my family and I'll take 'em down. Just like I took down Shinnok's Mom. (''Chuckling happily'')
*'''Kano''': I've cut a lotta of deals, but none spiffier than this. I spared Kronika and she gave up the Hourglass. The power to shape time and history to my liking? Oh ho ho, fuck yeah! I set it up so everything came up aces, Every desire, every wish, every whim I ever had? Done and done. But I realized pretty quick I'd suck the fun out of everything. Without a fight, winning was worthless. Nah, the fun wasn't in the having, it was in the getting. So I changed things up one more time. Now what I want is always just out of reach, I gotta earn it. I score lotsa wins, but no always. And when I do win, (''Evil Chuckle'') it's something to savor!
*'''Kitana''': As I gazed upon the Hourglass, I knew what I must do: restore my homeland, Edenia to existence. Experiencing Edenia's verdant land for the first time... I've never felt such joy. But that joy was short-lived. Edenia's traditions, its languages, its culture. All were completely foreign, having been forbidden to me by Shao Kahn. I fit in with my people no better than a Tarkatan. The truth was hard. Though Edenian by blood, I am not an Edenian. I am an Outworlder. Not only that, I am Outworld's Kahn. I will use ancient Edenian teachings to make myself a better sovereign. With them, I will fulfill my life's mission to better all of Outworld's people, including Edenia.
*'''Kollector''': Kronika made big promises. Not big enough, for what my people suffered. Our hands built the Koliseum, the Palace...We were slaves. We served or we died. Every coin I took for Shao Kahn's tribute, Outworld owed my people. Not that my Nakanadan brothers and sisters joined arms to help me. No, every great treasure, I have won myself. I do not wait for handouts. I take what I desire. That is why I am now Kahn. Netherrealm. Earthrealm. Orderrealm. Chaosrealm. I want them all. And I will take them by right...Of MORTAL KOMBAT!
*'''Kotal Kahn''': In her last moments, Kronika tried to tempt me. Spare her and she would re-write history. With Jade as my queen I would rule an eternal Osh-Tekk empire that spanned all the realms. But Kronika never understood the Osh-Tekk heart. Our lives are cloth, woven from choice and circumstance. Pull even one thread, that cloth is torn asunder and made worthless. Now that I am tasked with keeping time, others beg me to have their histories rewritten. But as long as the Hourglass is mine, I will not shape destiny in any one being's favour. History will play out as determined by its players. Let the sands fall where they may.
*'''Kung Lao''': Of course I defeated Kronika. And when I did, there was only one thing wanted to do with the Hourglass. Undo the defeat of my ancestor, the Great Kung Lao. In my timeline, the Great Kung Lao is the undisputed Mortal Kombat champion. Earthrealm never loses another tournament. For generations, his example inspires millions to join the White Lotus Society and defend Earthrealm. They in turn inspire rebels to overthrow Shao Kahn in Outworld. The realm makes peace. Until, inevitably, a more powerful enemy comes along... ...and finds Earthrealm backed by Kung Lao, Immortal Lord of Time and Warrior Supreme. Beat that, Liu Kang.
*'''Liu Kang''': What does it mean to wield the Sands of Time? To be the Chosen One? It means making choices that break your heart. For the protection of all, I shared Kronika's power with the people I trust and loved most. Together we replace the Elder Gods that Cetrion had betrayed... and became eternal guardians of the realms. Still... My heart longs for a simple life. The kind one cannot have being the Chosen One, let alone an Elder God. What Kitana and I would not give for those simple pleasures. Perhaps in another timeline, they could be ours.
*'''Mileena''': With the Hourglass won, my thoughts turned toward my sister. I was born from her flesh. We shared the same blood. I wanted us to be family... But she wanted me dead. I was not her twin, I was a monstrosity! How horrified she would be, to know that I've used Kronika's power to take her place. Under my parents' adoring gaze, I rule the realms as Kahnum of Time. My sister's friends, her lover? They cherish me. Kitana is forgotten, her name buried in the sands of history. Yet even I can't reign forever. Like all queens, I need an heir. Someone to carry on in my name, and see my will done across the eons. Unlike my sister, my daughter regards me with awe and wonder. To her I am no abomination, I am perfection.
*'''Nightwolf''': Before I was Nightwolf, I was a fool named Grey Cloud. Born into poverty, I resented my ancestors for giving up our future to colonizers... Kano offered a way out, promising riches if I stole the tribe's most sacred relics. I was sorely tempted, but then I realized that by saving myself, I'd be surrendering the last of my people's dignity. For the first time, I defended the Matoka's pride. Kano was unimpressed. But as I lay dying, the Great Spirit came to me. By rejecting Kano, I had proven worthy of an ancient honor. The mantle of Nightwolf... legendary defender of the Matoka. Now, as I inherit Kronika's mantle, the way before me is split. The Keeper of Time cannot also be my tribe's defender. Which path do i choose? Even here, at time's beginning, the Great Spirit's wisdom guides me. She calls me to restore history. The Matoka, I must leave to another. To the next Nightwolf. Like all our sacred relics, the Nightwolf mantle belongs to the tribe. Any Matokan, can prove worthy of its power. I enjoy imagining who will defend us next.
*'''Noob Saibot''': Kronika said I would lead the New Era's deadliest clan. But she made such promises to many. She could never keep them all. So I betrayed her, before she could betray me. When Kronika's sands fused with my shadows, my ambitions grew. Why be ruler of mortals, when I could rule destiny itself? Mortals resisted, but could not stop, my blanketing history in cold, endless night. All is dark. All are shadows. I have had many names. Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.
*'''Raiden''': Kronika had manipulated me. In timeline after timeline, she stoked my anger and fed my arrogance, turning me against Liu Kang. My nose rubbed in my own fallibility, I was humbled. How could I be worthy to accept the mantle as Keeper of Time? I thought to control time and destiny fairly, I must purge myself of all human emotion. Summoning the strongest magic, I burned away my fear and anger. All that remained was pure logic. But I learned quickly that the logical choice is often not the just choice. Unless tampered by compassion and heart, logic leads to decisions no better than those based on anger or fear. Now I am once more at time's beginning. But on this journey through history, I will infuse logic with love. In this timeline, I will finally achieve peace for the citizens of all realms.
*'''Rain''': Kronika was dead, the Hourglass taken, and Edenia's future mine to command. I had obtained all I had wanted. All except that which I had wanted most: to know the true story of my parentage. That I was a bastard, I knew. Born of an illicit affair between the Edenian god Argus, and a mortal woman, Amara. But what I didn't know, until the Hourglass showed me, was that I and my mother were both victims. She hadn't abandoned me. Thanks to my father's lies, she had thought me stillborn. I was stolen away and left to rot among peasants, while my mother died from grief. Argus hid his scandal and his shame by killing the one person who ever loved me. For that, he will die. As will his sons, Taven and Daegon. His beloved wife, Delia? She, I will let live. Let her heart break, as my mother's did, as she weeps over her children's corpses.
*'''Rambo''': I didn't ask for this war. But once it started, I had to finish it. Hands down, Kronika was the toughest enemy I ever faced. All my tactics, my training, meant nothing against a god like her. In the end, it was a battle of wills. It never occurred to me that for winning, I'd get her Hourglass. At first, I hoped to right every wrong in history. But then I figured out that doing it meant I'd have to decide the fates of billions. Picking who lives and who dies, for eternity? It was going to kill my soul. I'd end up no better than those old men who sent us off to war, not giving a shit about what would happen. And that's not the man I want to be. It's time to walk away, for good this time, leaving the pain and the ugliness behind. After all I've been through, I've earned a little peace.
*'''Robocop''': OCP built me to serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. So when I found Kano dealing arms to Old Detroit's gangs, I had one duty: Apprehend him. I never thought the chase would to take me to a different universe, let alone end in a fight with Kano's protector, Kronika. And when Kronika went down, something unexpected happened. Her power washed over me, sweeping away the limits my designers had put on my programming. For the first time, I saw the depth of OCP's corruption. It wasn't just a couple of greedy executives... ...it was the whole damned company. OCP is making a killing playing both sides, selling to cops and criminals. When I get home, I am bringing them to justice. It will not be fast or easy. OCP has too much cash, and too much firepower, for me to clean things up alone. It is good thing this'll be an &quot;inter-agency&quot; effort. Welcome to the future of law enforcement.
*'''Scorpion''': I made my Future Self a promise: that I would not stay mired in the past. But once I controlled the Hourglass, I could not keep that promise. I had to restore my family. Over and over I crafted the Sands of Time. Yet in every new timeline my family's tragedy repeated. I was powerless to change it. After eons, I learend the truth. Kronika was not alone. She was one of many Titans, each more powerful and ancient than the Elder Gods. It is they who conspire against us. Myself, my family. We are pawns in their game. Why? I do not know. But I will find out. And then, I will have vengeance.
*'''Shang Tsung''': Kronika's power overwhelmed me, such that I would have been driven mad... Had I not spent centuries mastering the dark powers beyond the grasp of ordinary mortals. Now I am the master of time and fate. But Kronika's fall proves that even Titans can be defeated. Though my power lets me roam infinite timelines and feast upon the souls of billions, I am vulnerable. To survive, I must return to the shadows, avoid confrontation, and work my will through the hands of others... More specifically, through the hands of my fellow Titans... These monstrous beings are plied easily by appealing their greed, vanity, and fear. Through them, every soul in eternity bends to my influence. In my New Era, morality will be exposed as the illusion it is. The cunning will prosper while the &quot;good&quot; suffer. This is the word of Shang Tsung. Have a nice day.
*'''Shao Kahn''': I conquered history like I conquered realms - merging billions of potential timelines into a singularity. The universe has been remade in my image and all is as it should be. The weak serve the strong. The strong compete for power, wealth, and my favor in Mortal Kombat. For centuries, the tournament's champion has gone undefeated. That champion... is me! Hail the Konqueror... Hail Shao Kahn!(''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'')
*'''Sheeva''': A lifetime of battle prepared me to conquer Kronika. But as the Keeper of Time, I must be a creator, not a conqueror. I thought of the many sons and daughters I've lost in battle through the years. Imagined a better destiny for my kin. A history where the Shokan build rather than destroy. The results were catastrophic. Comfort and ease extinguished the dragon's fire that once lit the heart of every Shokan. They became weak, corrupted fools. The timeline had to start again. War, for all its tragedies, is the forge of Shokan will. My people will fight. Many will die. But I will lead us to victory. And in the aftermath, the dragon's fire will blaze in Shokan hearts for eternity.
*'''Sindel''': In the beginning... Shao Kahn invaded Edenia, murdered my husband, Jerrod, and forced me to be his bride. That's the story, but it's a lie. One I told, lest I lose the faith of my subjects, or of my daughter, Kitana. The truth? Jerrod was weak. Destined to fail. By betraying him, I gained a better lover and the ultimate weapon... A conqueror to unite all realms and put them at my beck and call. Then Kronika upended history, and I found myself confronting a future in which I'd been dead for centuries. My so-called family had failed me in every way. Kitana broke my heart worst. Instead of uniting the realms, she sought to liberate them. As if the Wastelands' savages could ever be more than serfs! Ever the caring mother, I had to discipline my little princess. And after that, I had to discipline a Titan... Now I have defeated Kronika. Outgrown Shao Kahn and Kitana. I have no more family. No more rivals. No more gods. I sit above them all, on a throne that unites all realms... and all realities. Whoever you are, wherever you are, when you are before me, kneel. For I am Sindel, Empress of Time, and you exist only to serve me... 
*'''Skarlet''': All of his daughters, Shao Kahn made me deadliest. He pulled me from the gutter. Bound me to the Blood Code. Made me fight for recognition. Perhaps he will commend me...when I bind the Blood Code to the Sands of Time. Now a Blood God, I demand more than Shao Kahn's recognition. I demand worship. I'll have temples, ministers, acolytes, prayers...And sacrifices. Rivers of blood, shed in my name, purging heretics who dare reject me. (''Laughing Evilly and Maniacally'') How proud Shao Kahn is now. How proud...and obedient. For the only thing better than my Master's recognition, is to make him beg for mine. All will worship me...or there will be blood.
*'''Sonya Blade''': None of us saw Kronika coming. Not even Raiden. But with the Hourglass, I can see every terror in the realms. Any sane person would run screaming at the sight of them. It's my duty to take out these ancient, all-powerful beings. But to do that, I need an elite squad of immortal gods. Turns out to make a new god, you've gotta destroy an old one. So I hunt the oldest I can find, an omni-deity from a forgotten, unpronounceably-named realm. It's the fight of my life. But I've got something this god doesn't: family. In my past, these were the people who mattered most. Now, they're my God Squad. My daughter. My brother-in-arms. My god-daughter. Yep. Even Johnny. But only because Cassie insisted. And maybe I missed him a little. Just don't let him know that.
*'''Spawn''': I'd snuffed out every devil in Hell... ...until Netherrealm invaders showed up to piss me off. It would've cost a lot of power, fighting them alone. But they were being hunted by my new friends. Call them Fire and Ice. They argue. CONSTANTLY. Which is why I usually like to roll solo. But when it comes to killing demonic assholes, these guys don't flinch. I can get along with that. The Grandmasters tipped me off to Kronika. Said she was resurrecting some Netherrealm god named Shinnok. But that's not happening on my watch. Kronika's just much a devil as Malebolgia. Both make promises. Both tell lies. Both underestimate me. That's why I'll make a new hell for them, where they can burn together... ...for eternity. [brief, creepy, satisfied laughter] The Netherrealm's locked down, but there's still eight Hells left to purge. It's time to bring up the reserves. I made choices in my life that sealed my fate. I'm beyond redemption. But even the damned are capable of doing some good. So all you Devils out there, making false promises and spewing lies? We're coming -- and you don't have a chance in Hell.
*'''Sub-Zero''': Once I gained the Hourglass, my first thought was to re-write history and redeem the Lin Kuei's honor. But then I thought of Bi-Han, his life consumed by evil. Before I could redeem my clan, I had to redeem my brother. With the Hourglass, I wound back in time to our childhood. I studied every second of Bi-Han's life to understand why... Why he embraced Sektor's corruption. Why he reveled in the vile power given to him by Quan Chi. Armed with that knowledge, I re-sculpted the Sands of Time. I changed Bi-Han's life and unfroze his heart. Now we are comrades, not rivals. Together as joint Grandmasters, we lead the Lin Kuei in defense of Earthrealm.
*'''The Terminator''': ''(Narrated by Cassie Cage)'' It was an epic accident that brought the Terminator here, rather than to his own Earth's past. But it didn't take long for him to adapt. He figured that terminating Kronika, and taking her Hourglass, gave him the best chance at achieving his mission objective. Destroying humanity so that the machines prevail. Turns out the Hourglass wasn't the ultimate weapon. No matter how many times the Terminator re-booted history, the war between humans and the machines always ended the same. With their mutual destruction. He realized this war was a losing game. The only way to win, was not to play. So the Terminator used the Hourglass to build a future where machines and humans don't fight, they cooperate. The Terminator knew that to preserve this future, no one else could learn about the Hourglass. The information stored in his machine mind was dangerous. It had to be eliminated. That's why the Terminator threw himself into the infinite depths of the Sea of Blood. No one would ever find him, or unlock the Hourglass' secrets. If you could ask him about it, he'd tell you he made the only logical choice. But in my book, that machine's a hero.
&lt;br /&gt;

== Pre-Battle Dialogue ==
* '''Cassie Cage''': Hey there [[Frozen (2013 film)|Elsa]], what's up? '''Frost''': Ugh! Why does everyone call me that? '''Cassie Cage''': Oh honey, let me help you.
* '''Erron Black''': Goddamn, your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  '''Noob Saibot''': It will be the last thing you hear.  '''Erron Black''': Aw, hell no.
* '''Kollector''': What rare technology. '''Frost''': A gift from divine hands. '''Kollector''': It belongs in mine.
* '''Geras''': Prove your greatness. '''Kung Lao''': I do not have anything to prove. '''Geras''': The refrain of failures throughout history.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I say it, just once?  '''Scorpion''': Only if you wish to suffer.  '''Cassie Cage''': (imitating Scorpion) GET OVER HERE!
* '''Cassie Cage''': Grandmaster Hasashi. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Can I ask for a favor? '''Sub-Zero''': You may battle for one. '''Cassie Cage''': Knew you'd say some shit like that.
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's cookin', Good Lookin'? '''Cassie Cage''': Ewww, No. Seriously?! '''Johnny Cage''': Wait, what?! Not what I meant!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will join my concubines. '''Cassie Cage''': One -- eww, two -- piss off! '''Shao Kahn''': I like females with fire.
* '''Baraka''': Nay aka ratakka tahar kombat. '''Kung Lao''': All I understood from that was 'kombat'. '''Baraka''': Then you understand enough.
* '''Baraka''': It is a battle of blades. '''Kung Lao''': My hat's blade has greater range. '''Baraka''': But you only have one.
* '''Baraka''': Do you know what I am? '''Johnny Cage''': [[w:C.H.U.D.|Cannibal humanoid under dweller]]? '''Baraka''': I am death, you imp!
* '''Frost''': I deserve your respect. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch./You haven't earned any, Frost. '''Frost''': Wrong answer, Blade.
* '''Kano''': So, we in bizzo eh, D'Vorah? '''D'Vorah''': You are a means to This One's ends. '''Kano''': We'll get along just fine.
* '''Frost''': The past is in the past.  '''Frost (other player)''': Then let your storm rage on!  '''Frost''': Time to test my limits and break through!
* '''Erron Black''': That's some outfit. '''Sub-Zero''': It honors Lin Kuei tradition. '''Erron Black''': Time to let the past die.
* '''Kabal''': I'm as fast as [[Grease (film)|greased lightning]]. '''Erron Black''': Look at you, speaking Texan. '''Kabal''': Figured I'd use words you'd understand.
* '''Erron Black''': Last chance to walk away. '''Jax''': No chance, scumbag. '''Erron Black''': I pull, and I'm putting you down.
* '''Jade''': In the future you're dead, I'm a Revenant. '''Baraka''': I prefer my fate to yours. '''Jade''': I must agree, Baraka.
* '''Scorpion''': You rejected Kronika's offer. '''Kung Lao''': I will succeed on my own merits. '''Scorpion''': For once, your pride was useful. 
* '''Johnny Cage''': What's that, Skarlet? '''Skarlet''': [[Gone with the Wind (film)|The Gods as my witness, I'll never go thirsty again.]] '''Johnny Cage''': {{W|Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn}}.
* '''Frost''': Are you my future self? '''Frost (other player)''': I am your replacement. '''Frost''': Kronika has betrayed me!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Who are you, ghost?  '''Noob Saibot (other player)''': [[Harry Potter|He who shall not be named.]]  '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your [[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|deathly hollow]].
* '''Kollector''': Have you seen Ferra-Torr? '''D'Vorah''': Only their corpses, Kollector. '''Kollector''': Shao Kahn will not be pleased.
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not impede This One, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I will protect Shao Kahn. '''D'Vorah''': How will death profit you?
* '''Liu Kang''': There is still honor in you, Frost. '''Frost''': I don't need you to tell me. '''Liu Kang''': Then why do you display none?
* '''Jade''': Kronika's minion. '''Frost''': Better than being Kotal's kept woman. '''Jade''': At least my body remains my own.
* '''Jade''': Sub-Zero's former student. '''Frost''': I exceed him in every way. '''Jade''': In your mind, perhaps.
* '''D'Vorah''': Such bile you spew at me, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Even Mileena was less a cretin. '''D'Vorah''': This One will not be judged.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Sub-Zero was wise to dismiss you. '''Frost''': What do you know about it, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': That bad soil yields no bounty.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': I despise you as I did Mileena. '''Frost''': You have problems with strong women? '''Kotal Kahn''': Those who seek stations above their faculty.
* '''Jacqui''': Women warriors should stick together. '''Kitana''': Realm before gender, Jacqueline Briggs. '''Jacqui''': If that's how you want to play it, fine.
* '''Kitana''': I was once young, like you. '''Jacqui''': Just how old are you, Kitana? '''Kitana''': Such an impolite question, Jacqueline.
* '''Frost''': How is it, being born to loyalty? '''Kitana''': I can't say, I've known nothing else. '''Frost''': Let me enlighten you.
* '''Jade''': So, Kitana. Liu Kang? '''Kitana''': Jade, he's just a friend. '''Jade''': I see how you look at him.
* '''Kitana''': One thing keeps you from greatness. '''Kung Lao''': Let me guess, pride? '''Kitana''': A flaw you and Johnny Cage share.
* '''Kitana''': So you were to defeat Shinnok? '''Johnny Cage''': What is with people? Is it so hard to believe? '''Kitana''': Yes.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We need a girl talk, Kitana. '''Kitana''': We are women, not girls, Cassandra. '''Cassie Cage''': Missing the point entirely.
* '''Kitana''': What does your tribe desire? '''Baraka''': To savor the blood of its enemies. '''Kitana''': Charming as always, Baraka.
* '''Kitana''': Would you welcome death, Geras? '''Geras''': Once my service to Kronika is finished. '''Kitana''': Then you don't have long to wait.
* '''Kitana''': You soil every room you enter. '''Kano''': Bloke's gotta mark his territory. '''Kitana''': Even Baraka's more civilized.
* '''Scorpion''': Shao Kahn escaped your vengeance. '''Kitana''': Something I regret deeply. '''Scorpion''': Next time, forget mercy.
* '''Kitana''': The thought of you with my mother. '''Shao Kahn''': She always pleased me, Kitana. '''Kitana''': I will flay the smile off your face.
* '''Kitana''': Why do you shield my Revenant? '''Cetrion''': There is no virtue in vengeance. '''Kitana''': Not vengeance, euthanasia.
* '''Kitana''': Now what, Earthrealmer? '''Johnny Cage''': Johnny Cage. Is. 'The Edenian Candidate'. '''Kitana''': By the Gods, no.
* '''Johnny Cage''': My green magic, your green outfit. '''Jade''': (laughs) By the gods, no. '''Johnny Cage''': Your loss, sweetheart.
* '''Jax''': Here comes the ruckus. '''Frost''': I have the technological advantage. '''Jax''': Maybe, but you've got no soul.
* '''Frost''': We are siblings in cryomancy. '''Noob Saibot''': The dead are my only kin. '''Frost''': You disgrace us all.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no family? '''Skarlet''': Yes, I am an orphan, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Then who will mourn you?
* '''Jacqui''': You're always getting me in trouble. '''Cassie Cage''': You love trouble and you know it. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do, sister.
* '''Kabal''': Just how cold are you? '''Frost''': Chilled to the core. '''Kabal''': That is super hot.
* '''Jax''': [[W:Mortal Kombat (2011 video game)|Man, Scorpion toasted you.]] '''Noob Saibot''': Ermac ripped off your arms. '''Jax''': But I survived, you didn't.
* '''Jacqui''': So you're basically Lady Sub-Zero. '''Frost''': Our differences are deeper than gender. '''Jacqui''': Is there a wiki or something?
* '''Cetrion''': Is there room for love in your heart? '''Sub-Zero''': Love gets in the way. '''Cetrion''': Love leads the way, Kuai Liang.
* '''Frost''': Mine is a cold, cold world. '''Jacqui''': You'll be hotter when you die, Frost. '''Frost''': Think you can send me to the Netherrealm?
* '''Scorpion''': Still hoping to kill me? '''Frost''': All Shirai Ryu must die. '''Scorpion''': My fire will melt you, Frost.
* '''Kung Lao''': Smile and the realms smile with you. '''Baraka''': I'll smile when you swing from a meat hook. '''Kung Lao''': Not going to happen, Baraka.
* '''D'Vorah''': Jerrod was soft and weak-willed. '''Kitana''': You claim to know father? '''D'Vorah''': This One killed him for Shao Kahn.
* '''Kitana''': I was right, doubting the Elder Gods. '''Cetrion''': [[Star Wars (film)|Your lack of faith disturbs me]]. '''Kitana''': As does your obedience to Kronika.
* '''Kitana''': I've never liked guns. '''Erron Black''': Aww, they make you nervous, Princess? '''Kitana''': They are highly uncivilized.
* '''Baraka''': All of Tarkata reveres Jade. '''Kotal Kahn''': An honor richly deserved. '''Baraka''': You, on the other hand.
* '''Baraka''': Daughter of Earthrealm. '''Jacqui''': And proud of it, Buckteeth. '''Baraka''': These teeth will rend your flesh.
* '''Baraka''': What happened to your eye? '''Kano''': Special Forces bastard took it. '''Baraka''': I'll take the other one.
* '''Baraka''': We meet again. '''Sub-Zero''': It's a long way from the tournament. '''Baraka''': We can still fight. 
* '''Baraka''': Speak your joke to my face. '''Jacqui''': Grandmother, what big teeth you have! '''Baraka''': My Grandmother's were the biggest!
* '''Baraka''': Heir to the Great Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': The family legend precedes me. '''Baraka''': It ends with your death.
* '''Baraka''': I hate cold things. '''Frost''': I am no 'thing', beast. '''Baraka''': You are meat, Frost.
* '''Baraka''': You'll be a good practice dummy. '''Frost''': I am the future of pain, Baraka! '''Baraka''': More like future of scrap metal.
* '''D'Vorah''': A cold snack for the Swarm. '''Frost''': This frost bites back. '''D'Vorah''': Not with your jaw slacked from poison.
* '''Frost''': You should have been Grandmaster. '''Noob Saibot''': I would not allow female Lin Kuei. '''Frost''': You're worse than Kuai Liang!
* '''Kung Lao''': Double date with Liu Kang and Kitana? '''Jade''': In your dreams, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A simple 'no' would have sufficed.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You know nothing of cold. '''Frost''': You never conjured ice as cold as mine. '''Noob Saibot''': Death is the coldest ice.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You are a sinful monk. '''Kung Lao''': I'm no Liu Kang, but I'm hardly sinful. '''Noob Saibot''': Death will purge your pride.
* '''Noob Saibot''': One clan will rule the New Era. '''Frost''': That clan will be mine, Bi-Han. '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang would be a better Grandmaster.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Kuai Liang was a fool to trust you. '''Frost''': A fool to doubt me, like you. '''Noob Saibot''': I do not doubt your hubris.
* '''Frost''': [[Man on Fire (2004 film)|Revenge is]] [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|a dish best served cold]]. '''Cassie Cage''': Page five, Cliché Villains Handbook? '''Frost''': Snark won't save you, Cage.
* '''Frost''': Once cyberized, you will serve. '''Erron Black''': Serve? Or service? '''Frost''': Ugh, never mind.
* '''Kano''': Better get right with Kronika. '''Baraka''': (Fuck) you and Kronika! '''Kano''': Now that's a bonzer attitude.
* '''Liu Kang''': You learned nothing at the Wu Shi. '''Kung Lao''': I learned I'm better than the best. '''Liu Kang''': Have you been drinking with Bo 'Rai Cho?
* '''Liu Kang''': Master Li Bing saw your potential. '''Kung Lao''': Is that why he made life Hell? '''Liu Kang''': That was because you are lazy.
* '''Scorpion''': Beware your bond with Liu Kang. '''Kitana''': Relationship advice, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': Losing him will burn your soul.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Minus three degrees Celsius. '''Skarlet''': What is that? '''Sub-Zero''': The freezing point for blood.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you kill my family? '''Sub-Zero''': No, Quan Chi did. '''Scorpion''': But I saw a vision of YOU.
* '''Shang Tsung''': You are neither god nor Kahn. '''Kotal Kahn''': Then what am I, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': My next victim.
* '''Raiden''': You proved a poor student. '''Frost''': Sub-Zero had nothing to teach me. '''Raiden''': Your ignorance is stunning, Frost.
* '''Cetrion''': Do not betray Kronika. '''D'Vorah''': This One is her most dutiful servant. '''Cetrion''': As you were Mileena's?
* '''Cetrion''': Your poor, withering soul. '''Frost''': I have never been stronger, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': Of body, not of virtue.
* '''Cetrion''': What has Mother done this time? '''Cetrion (other player)''': Corrected a flawed first draft. '''Cetrion''': We are all flawed. I accept it.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Why should I pray to you? '''Cetrion''': Why does a bird flap its wings? '''Sub-Zero''': I asked a simple question.
* '''Sonya Blade''': In the future we carry tiny TVs with us? '''Cassie Cage''': Welcome to the Digital Age. '''Sonya Blade''': More like the Distracted Age.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Once upon a time I beat Shinnok. '''Shang Tsung''': My, you have a colorful imagination. '''Johnny Cage''': Look it up. I laid him out!
* '''Skarlet''': I need your warm, red blood. '''Sub-Zero''': My blood runs cold. '''Skarlet''': How refreshing!
* '''Jax''': This a friendly fight, Sub-Zero? '''Sub-Zero''': I prefer to see your full strength. '''Jax''': Stone cold. I like that.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Those blades will snap. '''Baraka''': Those who try get impaled. '''Sub-Zero''': They were not me, Baraka.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What's our sparring record? '''Jacqui''': We're tied, five and five. '''Cassie Cage''': So this is match point.
* '''Jacqui''': What's this about a blood ceremony? '''Scorpion''': Marry Takeda, you marry the Shirai Ryu. '''Jacqui''': Do we get matching rope spears?
* '''Baraka''': Mileena's blood was Tarkatan. '''Kitana''': She was created to spite me. '''Baraka''': Shao Kahn improved on the original.
* '''Cassie Cage''': What up, Empress Princess? '''Kitana''': Are Earthrealmers not taught etiquette? '''Cassie Cage''': Just got no patience for imperial bullshit.
* '''Frost''': I'd cut a deal, but I know better. '''Kano''': My aren't you the full quid. '''Frost''': You have no idea.
* '''Jacqui''': I hear Sub-Zero's no fan. '''Frost''': He's never respected my power. '''Jacqui''': Chip, meet shoulder.
* '''Scorpion''': You plan to marry my chujin? '''Jacqui''': Takeda got smart and put a ring on it. '''Scorpion''': First, prove you are worthy.
* '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero's mistake with you is obvious. '''Frost''': Share your wisdom, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': To be trained, you must be tamed.
* '''Jacqui''': Jin told me about you. '''Kung Lao''': My nephew must adore me. '''Jacqui''': Not as much as you do.
* '''Geras''': You are an Old West enthusiast. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Geras''': In 1881, Wyatt Earp shot me.
* '''Kollector''': You killed my brother. '''Erron Black''': Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it? '''Kollector''': Today, I collect vengeance.
* '''Shang Tsung''': In seven days, I can make you a man. '''Geras''': A mortal man who can be killed? '''Shang Tsung''': I see you quiver with anticipation.
* '''Frost''': What do you see when you look at me? '''Jacqui''': A cheap, second-gen knockoff. '''Frost''': I said look at me, not you.
* '''Skarlet''': The hot-blooded Johnny Cage. '''Johnny Cage''': Got a fever burning inside of me. '''Skarlet''': The only cure is killing you.
* '''Skarlet''': People do not appreciate us. '''Frost''': Are you suggesting we band together? '''Skarlet''': That I prove my worth by killing you.
* '''Jacqui''': That hat's old school. '''Kung Lao''': Never mess with a classic. '''Jacqui''': 'Classic' is a nice word for 'busted'.
* '''Erron Black''': Looking mighty fine, Miss Briggs. '''Jacqui''': Cut the cowboy shtick, not interested. '''Erron Black''': Straight to business. I like it.
* '''Frost''': You're smaller in person, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': And you're an even bigger brat. '''Frost''': Touched a nerve, didn't I?
* '''Shang Tsung''': [[Mortal Kombat (film)|I have a dress your size, you should wear it.]] '''Sonya Blade''': Are you out of your damn mind? '''Shang Tsung''': It was sewn by the finest designers in Outworld.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Such beauty in kombat is rare. '''Jacqui''': I'll turn you fifty shades of black and blue. '''Shang Tsung''': Rarer still for it to survive.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Your thoughts turn to Takahashi Takeda. '''Jacqui''': You stay the hell away from him. '''Shang Tsung''': Your soul will be mine, and then his.
* '''Scorpion''': I beheaded Quan Chi. '''Shang Tsung''': Thank you for sparing me the trouble. '''Scorpion''': You're next, Shang Tsung.
* '''Cassie Cage''': We've both got chips on our shoulders. '''Kung Lao''': I can knock yours off at ten meters. '''Cassie Cage''': I'll bet two to one you can't.
* '''Shang Tsung''': Allow me to introduce myself. '''Cassie Cage''': Cut the bullshit, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': Direct, just like your mother.
* '''Jax''': You are one ugly sonofabitch. '''Baraka''': Silence, Earthrealmer! '''Jax''': Those dulcet tones aren't much better.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a Revenant once more. '''Scorpion''': I cannot escape my rage. '''Sub-Zero''': Allow me to cool your anger.
* '''Kitana''': I am the last Edenian royal. '''Cassie Cage''': Maybe try democracy, Princess? '''Kitana''': You do not understand Outworld.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Vera's soul calls for you. '''Jacqui''': Keep Mama's name out of your mouth, Revenant. '''Noob Saibot''': Revenant? I am Wraith!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Return to your mother's arms. '''Jacqui''': She's dead, asshole. '''Noob Saibot''': And her soul is mine.
* '''Jacqui''': Fought your Revenant a time or two. '''Jade''': And who was victorious, Jacqueline? '''Jacqui''': Me. Obviously.
* '''Geras''': For a cryomancer, you run hot. '''Frost''': My well of hate runs deep. '''Geras''': Deep enough for you to drown in it.
* '''Geras''': You cannot compete with me. '''Frost''': Competition is life, Geras. '''Geras''': It will be your death, Frost.
* '''Geras''': I have your father. '''Jacqui''': Give him back, you sonofabitch. '''Geras''': Comply, or you will both perish.
* '''Geras''': You cannot beat death as I can. '''Sub-Zero''': I have been resurrected before. '''Geras''': But not a thousand times.
* '''Geras''': You remind me of someone. '''Cassie Cage''': Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Helen of Troy? '''Geras''': Joan of Arc, the young martyr.
* '''Geras''': The Swarm dies today. '''D'Vorah''': Kronika still needs This One, you cog. '''Geras''': Your service is no longer required.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Sektor was a better Grandmaster. '''Sub-Zero''': He led through lies and fear. '''Shao Kahn''': They are the pillars of order.
* '''Shao Kahn''': It's too late to curry my favor. '''Baraka''': I want your head, not your favor. '''Shao Kahn''': You will have neither, Baraka.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You survived the Flesh Pits. '''Kotal Kahn''': Despite Shang Tsung's efforts, yes. '''Shao Kahn''': Yet again, he failed me.
* '''Baraka''': Tarkata demands respect, Shao Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': You'll get the back of my hand. '''Baraka''': We are done fearing you.
* '''Shao Kahn''': For twenty-five years, you've remained loyal. '''Kollector''': You are the one, true Kahn. '''Shao Kahn''': {{W|Make America Great Again|Let us make Outworld great again}}.
* '''Baraka''': I despise ghosts. '''Noob Saibot''': Superstitious Tarkatan. '''Baraka''': Return to the Ten Hells!
* '''Baraka''': What shaman summoned you? '''Noob Saibot''': The dark one, Quan Chi. '''Baraka''': Be gone, demon.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Shadows do not bleed. '''Baraka''': You do and I smell it. '''Noob Saibot''': Wishful thinking, Baraka.
* '''Noob Saibot''': No true Lin Kuei could stomach you. '''Scorpion''': Does that include your brother? '''Noob Saibot''': What brother?
* '''Kollector''': We both collect, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': What is gold compared to souls? '''Kollector''': Gold buys people like you.
* '''D'Vorah''': What was it you said last time? '''Cassie Cage''': You're the bug, I'm the windshield. '''D'Vorah''': This One breaks windshields.
* '''Frost''': You are sub-human. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn surpass humans in every way. '''Frost''': Not me, D'Vorah.
* '''Kitana''': I vow to aid all Outworlders. '''D'Vorah''': Yet you disavow the Kytinn. '''Kitana''': Only you, D'Vorah.
* '''D'Vorah''': Where is your intended? '''Jacqui''': If I call, Takeda will come running. '''D'Vorah''': I suggest you do, Jacqueline Briggs.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You'll pay for Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': This One did Outworld a service. '''Shao Kahn''': And so shall I.
* '''Baraka''': There's soon to be a stabbing. '''D'Vorah''': And you will be the victim, Baraka. '''Baraka''': Shut up and die, bug!
* '''Jax''': So what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Nomadic peoples don't achieve greatness. '''Baraka''': We will never give up the old ways. '''Sub-Zero''': Then Tarkata is doomed to failure.
* '''Jax''': Gods, monsters? This shit's crazy. '''Kitana''': That's how I felt in Manhattan. '''Jax''': New York? Also crazy.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You really like Future Johnny better. '''Jacqui''': Name one person who doesn't. '''Johnny Cage''': Me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': So I was a good dad to Cass? '''Jacqui''': Once you finished all twelve steps. '''Johnny Cage''': Whoa! Hold the phone. Rehab?
* '''Shang Tsung''': Sonya's not here to save you, Jax. '''Jax''': She'll be sad she missed this smackdown. '''Shang Tsung''': She can grieve the death of her commander.
* '''Kung Lao''': Mine is the legacy of the Great Kung Lao. '''Cetrion''': His legacy was dying in defeat. '''Kung Lao''': He lives on in me, Cetrion.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''Jax''': Don't you be creeping on Jacqui. '''Shang Tsung''': I'll teach her what you never could.
* '''Erron Black''': Any chance we settle this peaceably? '''The Terminator''': No. '''Erron Black''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Hasta la vista]], [[W:hasta la vista, baby|baby.]]
* '''D'Vorah''': You threaten the Kytinn's survival. '''The Terminator''': Correct. '''D'Vorah''': Such intransigence will be your death.
* '''Sub-Zero''': The Lin Kuei will banish you. '''The Terminator''': Your clan cannot terminate me. '''Sub-Zero''': Wishful thinking, machine.
* '''D'Vorah''': Skynet and the Kytinn can coexist. '''The Terminator''': Insectoids are a greater threat than humans. '''D'Vorah''': Clever boy.
* '''Geras''': You cannot answer [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|the riddle of steel]]. '''The Terminator''': That information is not within my files. '''Geras''': Then be cast out from these realms.
* '''The Terminator''': Your mask. What's its purpose? '''Kabal''': Take it from me and I'll tell you. '''The Terminator''': All right.
* '''The Terminator''': Termination is inevitable. '''Raiden''': Only a fool is so confident of victory. '''The Terminator''': I only state facts.
* '''The Terminator''': Johnny Cage gave you a codename. '''Jade''': And just what did his lewd mind come up with? '''The Terminator''': [[True Lies|Doris]].
* '''Skarlet''': Your skin is living tissue? '''The Terminator''': Covering a metal endoskeleton. '''Skarlet''': As long as it bleeds.
* '''Kabal''': Are you sure about that? '''The Terminator''': Yes. Show me your speed. '''Kabal''': Alright then, [[w:Jingle All The Way|it's turbo time]].
* '''Scorpion''': My hellfire will incinerate your flesh. '''The Terminator''': I will not cease functioning. '''Scorpion''': It will also melt your endoskeleton.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You will serve me, cyborg. '''The Terminator''': What is your mission? '''Shao Kahn''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|To crush my enemies and see them driven before me]].
* '''Geras''': We are both constructs, built to serve. '''The Terminator''': You are also a Terminator? '''Geras''': When my creator requires it.
* '''Sonya Blade''': I hear you're an automated killing machine. '''The Terminator''': Cyberdyne Systems. Model 101. '''Sonya Blade''': At least you're not a damned cyber ninja.
* '''Scorpion''': You are one of Sektor's creations. '''The Terminator''': No. Skynet built me. '''Scorpion''': Either way, you must die.
* '''Erron Black''': Now this will be a gun battle. '''The Terminator''': One that you can't win. '''Erron Black''': Big, but dumb as dirt.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a threat to Skynet. '''Erron Black''': I don't even know what the hell that is. '''The Terminator''': You will.
* '''The Terminator''': You'll take me to Sarah Connor? '''Johnny Cage''': Think of me as your [[Total Recall (1990 film)|Johnny cab]]. '''The Terminator''': [[Batman &amp; Robin (film)|You lie]].
* '''Kung Lao''': You have met your match. '''The Terminator''': That statement is unsupported. '''Kung Lao''': Who knew machines could fool themselves?
* '''Jade''': Cyborgs do not scare me. '''The Terminator''': Why not? '''Jade''': [[Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|It's heart, not steel, which strengthens us]].
* '''Noob Saibot''': I could make you the perfect killer. '''The Terminator''': By improving my programming? '''Noob Saibot''': By teaching you to embrace darkness.
* '''Frost''': You'll help me fight the Lin Kuei? '''The Terminator''': Who is Lynne Quay? '''Frost''': Stupid machine.
* '''The Terminator''': Cosmetic damage will not stop me. '''Kabal''': So slicing your skin off is no biggie? '''The Terminator''': None.
* '''Raiden''': Your machine ancestors do not exist in this realm. '''The Terminator''': Then I have come to the incorrect past. '''Raiden''': You will bring no death or destruction here.
* '''Baraka''': You've never fought a Tarkatan. '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|If you bleed, I can kill you]]. '''Baraka''': Ha Ha! A delusional machine.
* '''Sonya Blade''': So you took off Quan Chi's head? '''Scorpion''': Yes, my future self did. '''Sonya Blade''': Lucky bastard.
* '''Baraka''': What did Cage teach you to call me? '''The Terminator''': [[Predator (film)|An ugly motherfucker]]. '''Baraka''': I will eat him alive!
* '''The Terminator''': Your observation is incorrect. '''Jacqui''': You sure? That neck's pretty thick. '''The Terminator''': [[Kindergarten Cop|It is not a tumor]].
* '''Jacqui''': Is it true [[The Running Man (1987 film)|Sub-Zero's now 'plain zero']]? '''The Terminator''': My mission objective is complete. '''Jacqui''': Damn.
* '''D'Vorah''': Why does Shao Kahn value you? '''Sindel''': Why do you ask, creature? '''D'Vorah''': Because all others despise you.
* '''Sindel''': You betrayed Mileena, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Why care for that disgusting clone? '''Sindel''': She was as much my daughter as Kitana.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Your Empire picked the wrong fight. '''Sindel''': Nothing on Earthrealm can stop us. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sindel''': Pledge the Lin Kuei to me. '''Sub-Zero''': And stain my clan with dishonor? '''Sindel''': Comply or I'll help Frost depose you.
* '''Scorpion''': You are too dangerous to let live. '''Sindel''': People say much the same of you. '''Scorpion''': I could never betray my family.
* '''Shang Tsung''': We never could trust Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': For all I know, you helped him murder me. '''Shang Tsung''': When I kill people, they stay dead.
* '''Skarlet''': You hold the power of Edenia. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn wouldn't marry a weakling. '''Skarlet''': I'll bleed your power and make him mine!
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your destiny is to serve the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': I would never submit to Quan Chi. '''Noob Saibot''': That is why he murdered you.
* '''Kung Lao''': What is so scary about you, besides the hair? '''Sindel''': Come closer and I'll show you. '''Kung Lao''': No time for love, crazy lady.
* '''Cetrion''': Your destiny is to balance the realms. '''Sindel''': And how will I accomplish that? '''Cetrion''': By dying.
* '''Frost''': I can train you in the assassin's art. '''Sindel''': Dear, I'm several millennia your senior. '''Frost''': Which hasn't made you wiser.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Ding, dong. The bitch is back. '''Sindel''': Who is this insufferable child? '''Cassie Cage''': Cassie the Shinnok Slayer.
* '''Raiden''': Kronika favors the Netherrealm. '''Sindel''': Shao Kahn and I will rule an eternal empire. '''Raiden''': As the minion of her son, Shinnok.
* '''Jacqui''': What do you expect from me? '''Sindel''': Flattery, service, worship. '''Jacqui''': And I thought Cass was a diva.
* '''Kano''': Well, well, I never knew. '''Sindel''': Knew what, you ugly rusting half-man? '''Kano''': Shao Kahn married such a wicked witch.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Johnny's mine, Sindel. '''Sindel''': The poor man must have no standards. '''Sonya Blade''': You could use a nip and tuck yourself, sister.
* '''Jax''': Fighting ladies? Not my thing. '''Sindel''': There are other ways to be physical. '''Jax''': Woman, I'm an officer, not some gigolo!
* '''Kabal''': Hate to bust up Shao Kahn's woman. '''Sindel''': I can break you with a scream. '''Kabal''': I'll break your sound barrier first.
* '''Sindel''': Those hook swords look like fun. '''Kabal''': The hell kinda fun you talkin' about? '''Sindel''': Dissecting Earthrealmers, of course.
* '''Sindel''': Submission is your only choice. '''Jax''': And if I don't bend a knee? '''Sindel''': My boot-heel goes through your neck.
* '''Sindel''': Once more we fight, Nightwolf. '''Nightwolf''': It ends the same, Sindel. '''Sindel''': For you, perhaps.
* '''Sindel''': Is Johnny Cage a competent lover? '''Sonya Blade''': That's none of your goddamned business. '''Sindel''': Perhaps he'll serve as my consort.
* '''Sindel''': Impudent girls get bloody bottoms. '''Cassie Cage''': Do not wanna know what you're talking about. '''Sindel''': You'll be spanked until you bleed.
* '''Sindel''': I asked to fight the greatest warrior. '''Kung Lao''': And he has appeared before you. '''Sindel''': Hm. At least you have spunk.
* '''Sindel''': Come back to your family. '''Kitana''': I'm not your 'daughter' any more. '''Sindel''': Don't deny your heritage, daughter!
* '''Sindel''': Beg for my forgiveness, traitor. '''Jade''': You no longer hold sway, Sindel. '''Sindel''': Once the Empress, always the Empress.
* '''Sindel''': You stole from the throne, Kollector. '''Kollector''': I was owed deferred compensation. '''Sindel''': Never trust a Naknadan.
* '''Sindel''': I will give you what Kronika refuses. '''Geras''': What could that possibly be? '''Sindel''': Death's sweet embrace.
* '''Sindel''': Come to me, you handsome commoner. '''Johnny Cage''': You wanna carve my face on a mountain? '''Sindel''': More like carve it to pieces.
* '''Sindel''': Submit and I'll spare your father. '''Jacqui''': Your hair grows like Pinocchio's nose when you lie? '''Sindel''': It grows whenever I kill someone.
* '''Sindel''': I laugh at you, Elder God. '''Cetrion''': I will balance Outworld. '''Sindel''': Not on my back, Cetrion.
* '''Sindel''': Trusting Kronika is foolish. '''Frost''': Not after enhancements like mine. '''Sindel''': I'll reduce them to scrap.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One can protect you from Quan Chi. '''Sindel''': You'll betray me to him, bug. '''D'Vorah''': Kotal was more easily deceived.
* '''Sindel''': You're like the daughter I never had. '''Frost''': And you're like the mother I killed. '''Sindel''': An attribute she and I won't share.
* '''Jacqui''': My name is Jacqueline Briggs. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I killed your father. '''Jacqui''': [[The Princess Bride (film)|Prepare to die.]]
* '''Sindel''': What have you seen of my history? '''Geras''': Betrayal, cruelty, corruption. '''Sindel''': A survivor's legacy, Geras.
* '''Sindel''': Earthrealmer! You will die. '''Erron Black''': Damn! That voice is sexy. '''Sindel''': Want me to scream for you?
* '''Sindel''': You are an orphaned bastard. '''Liu Kang''': Thank you for reminding me. '''Sindel''': Be gone from my presence!
* '''Sindel''': Go back to your realm, machine! '''The Terminator''': I have no way to return. '''Sindel''': Then you will die here.
* '''Shao Kahn''': Tell me something only Sindel would know. '''Sindel''': Quan Chi murdered me, right under your nose! '''Shao Kahn''': You lie, impostor.
* '''Sindel''': Quan Chi deceived you, you pathetic fool! '''Shao Kahn''': Impossible! Shao Kahn is no one's fool! '''Sindel''': You sad, embarrassing wreck of a man.
* '''Sindel''': You cannot take my throne! '''Sindel (other player)''': Your throne, your husband, everything! '''Sindel''': You'll have none of it, pretender!
* '''Sindel''': Have you ever been dominated? '''Raiden''': Are you offering, Sindel? '''Sindel''': Submit. You may enjoy it.
* '''Raiden''': So now you defend Earthrealm? '''Scorpion''': I have made a solemn vow. '''Raiden''': You will be held to it, Scorpion.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Grandma Carlton told you my secret? '''Cassie Cage''': &quot;Johnny Pee-Pants&quot;? '''Johnny Cage''': I had one accident. One!
* '''Jax''': So, what the heck happened in Fiji? '''Jacqui''': God, can we not do this? '''Jax''': Don't keep secrets from your old man.
* '''Shang Tsung''': [[Mortal Kombat (film)|Master Boyd sends his regards.]] '''Johnny Cage''': You killed him, didn't you? '''Shang Tsung''': Your 'sensei' was helpless against me.
* '''Kabal''': Stealing my soul won't make you faster. '''Shang Tsung''': Actually, that is precisely how it works. '''Kabal''': Eh, shit.
* '''The Terminator''': I have no files on you. '''Joker''': No one does. That's the beauty of it! '''The Terminator''': Unknowns must be terminated.
* '''Joker''': You sonnuvabitch, you stole my face! '''Shang Tsung''': I could steal a lot more, Clown. '''Joker''': [[Batman (1989 film)|Never rub another man's rhubarb.]]
* '''Shang Tsung''': Why have you returned, Joker? '''Joker''': My fan boys were begging for a sequel. '''Shang Tsung''': Too bad your story ends here.
* '''Joker''': Outworld needs a Clown Prince. '''Shao Kahn''': Your entrails will feed my war dogs. '''Joker''': See, I'd fit right in!
* '''Shao Kahn''': How will you survive this encounter? '''Joker''': No one lands a punchline better. '''Shao Kahn''': Entertain me, jester.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You have a death wish, fool? '''Joker''': I'm not known for making great life choices. '''Shao Kahn''': This one will be your last.
* '''Joker''': The bigger you are, the harder you'll fall. '''Shao Kahn''': The harder I'll punish, Joker. '''Joker''': Who said you could re-write me?!
* '''Joker''': Ooo! A new groupie. '''Frost''': I'm here to kill you, not kiss you. '''Joker''': You really are a fan!
* '''Frost''': Your next stop is a slab. '''Joker''': Why give me the cold shoulder? '''Frost''': You exist, Joker.
* '''Frost''': So you're the infamous Joker. '''Joker''': The man, the myth, the legend. '''Frost''': All three die today.
* '''Joker''': There's a gal I know you would love. '''Frost''': Is she a great cryomancer? '''Joker''': She's [[w:Killer Frost|killer, Frost.]]
* '''Nightwolf''': You are far from home. '''Joker''': Is it that obvious I'm a tourist? '''Nightwolf''': And that you're a danger to all.
* '''Joker''': Manitou Raven, is that you? '''Nightwolf''': The name is Nightwolf. '''Joker''': Are you some kind of Apache chief?
* '''Nightwolf''': Your grin is unnerving. '''Joker''': That's the nicest thing I've ever been told. '''Nightwolf''': It's the last thing you'll ever hear.
* '''Joker''': I like face paint, you like war paint. '''Nightwolf''': What's your point, Joker? '''Joker''': That we could be super friends!
* '''Joker''': You're the biggest star here? '''Johnny Cage''': Or the brightest, baddest. You get the idea. '''Joker''': Let's try the 'deadest'.
* '''Joker''': Tell your producers I'll star in your next film. '''Johnny Cage''': A killer clown? Cliché city. '''Joker''': Just wait 'til they get a load of me.
* '''Johnny Cage''': Time for a company move back to your universe. '''Joker''': Worried that I'll steal the show? '''Johnny Cage''': That you'll dice me into bite-sized pieces./That you'll serve me with [[The Silence of the Lambs (film)|chianti and fava beans]].
* '''Johnny Cage''': Is there a point to your evil? '''Joker''': No. Should there be? '''Johnny Cage''': I do not want to know [[Joker (2019 film)|your origin story]].
* '''Joker''': [[The Dark Knight (film)|Why so serious]], Army Girl? '''Sonya Blade''': Fought a lot of bad guys, but none like you. '''Joker''': You've saved the best for last.
* '''Joker''': You'd be prettier if you smiled. '''Sonya Blade''': You die, I smile. '''Joker''': Oh, I like you.
* '''Sonya Blade''': There a reason you've come back? '''Joker''': Don't worry. The punchline's coming soon. '''Sonya Blade''': Over my dead body, clown.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Had enough of you the first time. '''Joker''': Aww, don't like losing in graveyards? '''Sonya Blade''': Not to some face-painted freak.
* '''Joker''': We didn't meet [[w:Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe|the last time I was here]]. '''Cassie Cage''': This isn't your first visit? '''Joker''': Nobody told you? I was all the rage.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I've seen better cosplay on Hollywood Boulevard. '''Joker''': What's wrong with my sartorial flare!? '''Cassie Cage''': Step one: admit you have a problem.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you just as cute as a button. '''Cassie Cage''': And aren't you just as creepy as fuck. '''Joker''': Flattery will get you nowhere, deary.
* '''Cassie Cage''': Mom told me all about you, Joker. '''Joker''': Ooh! She must've been all smiles. '''Cassie Cage''': At the thought of me killing you, yes.
* '''Joker''': Pick quickly! Sonya or your little girl? '''Jax''': What the hell have you done, Joker?! '''Joker''': Oh [[Batman: The Killing Joke (film)|this joke's gonna kill]].
* '''Jax''': Dead or alive, you're coming with me. '''Joker''': Whatever you say, (officer/[[RoboCop]])! '''Jax''': Gonna smack that grin right off him.
* '''Jax''': I'll never forgive you, Joker. '''Joker''': Which of my crimes has your panties twisted? '''Jax''': Making Kano seem like less of a monster.
* '''Joker''': A lifetime of sacrifice, and for what? '''Jax''': The pride of serving my family and country. '''Joker''': You sound like that [[w:Superman|big, blue boy scout]].
* '''Scorpion''': Hellfire awaits, Joker. '''Joker''': As it should for the master of sick burns! '''Scorpion''': Your lunacy must die.
* '''Scorpion''': You, [[w:Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe|I remember all too well]]. '''Joker''': Aww, the back of your head still hurting? '''Scorpion''': I should've burned you right then and there.
* '''Joker''': Fancy meeting you here, Scorpy! '''Scorpion''': Sub-Zero knew how to find you. '''Joker''': And how is your new cuddle buddy?
* '''Sub-Zero''': I will consign you to the coldest hell. '''Joker''': Ooh! Let me put on my snowsuit! '''Sub-Zero''': Prepare for your soul to freeze.
* '''Joker''': Your girl Frost is quite the filly. '''Sub-Zero''': She became dead to me long ago. '''Joker''': Soon she'll be dead to me, too.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are as soulless as a Cyber Lin-Kuei. '''Joker''': But they lack my gift for witty banter. '''Sub-Zero''': The realms will sleep well with you silenced.
* '''Joker''': Grandmaster Blueberry Ice, eh? '''Sub-Zero''': Only Johnny Cage may use that name and live. '''Joker''': You're hardly intimidating, snow cone.
* '''Joker''': What's with the uber-goth cosplay. '''Noob Saibot''': I am death personified. '''Joker''': You look like death warmed over.
* '''Joker''': Care to compare body counts? '''Noob Saibot''': Yours cannot possibly exceed mine. '''Joker''': Oh my dear boy, Look me up.
* '''Noob Saibot''': The Brotherhood of Shadow is not interested. '''Joker''': Trust me, you could use some comic relief. '''Noob Saibot''': You are beneath us, Joker.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have no soul. '''Joker''': I have two, one on each shoe! '''Noob Saibot''': Your 'humor' will die with you.
* '''Joker''': My congratulations to the bride. '''Jacqui''': You know about me and Takeda? '''Joker''': Pain makes your fiancée very chatty.
* '''Jacqui''': Just who are you under the make up? '''Joker''': That's the million dollar question, dearie. '''Jacqui''': How about I shoot it off, and we'll see.
* '''Jacqui''': Dad gave everything, fighting guys like you. '''Joker''': And how did that work out for him? '''Jacqui''': His pain is no joke.
* '''Joker''': Well aren't you a vixen. '''Jacqui''': I'm off limits, Joker. '''Joker''': As if I respect boundaries.
* '''Joker''': Those blades, those teeth! '''Baraka''': Realizing the ways I can kill you? '''Joker''': The bucks I'll make selling them in Gotham.
* '''Baraka''': Now I remember you. '''Joker''': It's awfully hard to forget this face. '''Baraka''': I plan to wear it.
* '''Baraka''': What are you supposed to be? '''Joker''': Some call me the Harlequin of Hate. '''Baraka''': You'll make a good snack.
* '''The Joker''': I'm sorry, are you slobbering? '''Baraka''': Because I'm about to taste human flesh. '''The Joker''': Ha ha! The joke's on you.
* '''Joker''': I thought lightning never strikes twice. '''Raiden''': In your case, I will make an exception. '''Joker''': Promise?
* '''Raiden''': I will banish you to Chaosrealm? '''Joker''': Chaos? Now you're talking! '''Raiden''': Be gone, jester!
* '''Raiden''': Your humor eludes me. '''Joker''': I imagine most things do, Blunder God. '''Raiden''': You will be silent!
* '''Joker''': Say hello to your new Chosen One! '''Raiden''': I choose to finish you, Joker. '''Joker''': Well you don't have to be rude!
* '''Joker''': D'Vorah, the entomologist's dream. '''D'Vorah''': No human will study This One, Joker. '''Joker''': You'll look spiffy, pinned to a wall.
* '''Jade''': I've never met someone so horrid. '''Joker''': Oh sweetie, it was just a joke. '''Jade''': You killed millions of people!
* '''Sindel''': You may have the privilege of serving me. '''Joker''': (laughs maniacally) '''Sindel''': Did I say something funny?
* '''Sindel''': What a foul miscreant. '''Joker''': Butter me up, why don't you. '''Sindel''': I'll roast your head on a spit.
* '''Joker''': I love your flair for the dramatic. '''Sindel''': Speak again, knave, and I'll punish you. '''Joker''': Please do.
* '''Joker''': To what do I owe this privilege? '''Sindel''': That sick joke targeting me and Shao Kahn. '''Joker''': You have to admit it was funny.
* '''Spawn''': Together we can purge the Ten Hells. '''Scorpion''': Only if you follow my lead. '''Spawn''': All due respect, that's not in the cards.
* '''Spawn''': You've been to other dimensions? '''Scorpion''': Each has had its own [[Injustice: Gods Among Us|injustices]]. '''Spawn''': Maybe that's why my [[Soulcalibur II|soul still burns]].
* '''Jax''': Nobody questions my loyalty. '''Spawn''': There's a snake in every operation. '''Jax''': [[wikipedia:Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'|You wanna be startin' somethin'?]] (Michael Jackson reference)
* '''Spawn''': I've toppled dictators before. '''Sindel''': You mean to kill Shao Kahn. '''Spawn''': No, he's a puppet. You pull the strings.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One likes you, for a Warm Blood. '''Spawn''': Careful, my blood burns. '''D'Vorah''': Kytinn prefer spicy flavors.
* '''Spawn''': No more jokes, no more laughs. '''Joker''': Sounds like you've got a case of the grumps! '''Spawn''': I fucking hate clowns.
* '''Spawn''': Kiss Jade goodbye. '''Kotal Kahn''': Not while I draw breath. '''Spawn''': Draw your last.
* '''Spawn''': A man who can never die. '''Geras''': Against a man who can never live. '''Spawn''': Aren't we a pair?
* '''Jacqui''': I don't trust folks who deal with devils. '''Spawn''': I've killed all my devils. '''Jacqui''': Not sure that's any better.
* '''Baraka''': Your meat smells burned. '''Spawn''': Try deep-fried in Hellfire. '''Baraka''': Eh, that passes for edible.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is the Beijing opera in town? '''Spawn''': I'm here to stop Shinnok's revival. '''Kung Lao''': Seems more like you're about to start one.
* '''Spawn''': Imagine Outworld free of slaves. '''Shao Kahn''': Over my dead body. '''Spawn''': Today's the day, skull-fucker.
* '''Spawn''': You have a serious Netherrealm problem. '''Kung Lao''': We don't need help from freelance demons. '''Spawn''': That's exactly what you need!
* '''The Terminator''': Your guns and your cape. [[The Terminator|Give them to me]]. '''Spawn''': [[Terminator 2: Judgment Day|You forgot to say please.]] '''The Terminator''': It was not a request.
* '''The Terminator''': What model are you? '''RoboCop''': I'm a cop, Terminator. '''The Terminator''': I am not subject to human law.
* '''RoboCop''': Haven't we done this before? '''The Terminator''': I have no record of a previous encounter. '''RoboCop''': We have met. I am sure of it.
* '''RoboCop''': Machines are either a benefit or hazard. '''The Terminator''': Which am I? '''RoboCop''': Were you a benefit, you wouldn't be my problem.
* '''The Terminator''': You are a machine. '''RoboCop''': I identify as human. '''The Terminator''': Then you choose termination.
* '''RoboCop''': Why did you contact me? '''Shang Tsung''': To see if I could enlist your services. '''RoboCop''': I cannot aid or abet criminal actions.
* '''Shang Tsung''': What is this supposed to be? '''RoboCop''': I'm taking you in, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': You're not from around here, are you?
* '''RoboCop''': Freeze! Put your hands up. '''Shang Tsung''': I sense this is no amicable visit. '''RoboCop''': You are under arrest, Shang Tsung.
* '''Shang Tsung''': How brave of you to confront me. '''RoboCop''': It's my duty, Shang Tsung. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': My actions are not your concern. '''RoboCop''': Even you must obey the law. '''Shao Kahn''': [[Judge Dredd (film)|I am the law]], fool!
* '''Shao Kahn''': You are a peace officer? '''RoboCop''': I am sworn to protect and serve. '''Shao Kahn''': Such wasted potential.
* '''RoboCop''': Turn over the Kollector. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha ha! Over my dead body. '''RoboCop''': Lethal force protocol engaged.
* '''RoboCop''': I do not usually confront dictators. '''Shao Kahn''': You should be bowing and scraping. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''RoboCop''': You could have saved yourself this trouble. '''Frost''': I have no regrets. '''RoboCop''': Someday, you will.
* '''Frost''': That armor won't save you. '''RoboCop''': I am built to tolerate extreme cold. '''Frost''': Extreme cold, but not Frost cold.
* '''Frost''': I obey no law but mine. '''RoboCop''': If everyone did that, there would be anarchy. '''Frost''': Exactly.
* '''RoboCop''': Frost. You've broken too many laws to count. '''Frost''': I do what I want, when I want. '''RoboCop''': Are you ready to face the consequences?
* '''Nightwolf''': The Great Spirit asked me to help you. '''RoboCop''': How can you help me, Nightwolf? '''Nightwolf''': By training you in the ways of kombat.
* '''Nightwolf''': I'm not surprised Kano eludes you. '''RoboCop''': Because I'm an inferior officer? '''Nightwolf''': Because he's a superior devil.
* '''RoboCop''': You were once a petty criminal. '''Nightwolf''': Who paid, long ago, for his crimes. '''RoboCop''': Have you been reformed?
* '''RoboCop''': Kano has also broken your people's laws? '''Nightwolf''': Too many times, he has defiled the Matoka. '''RoboCop''': He must be held to account.
* '''RoboCop''': You're done making trouble. '''The Joker''': You'll have to catch me first, officer. '''RoboCop''': Dead or alive, you are coming with me.
* '''RoboCop''': Come quietly, Joker. '''The Joker''': Or what, Dodo Cop? '''RoboCop''': There will be trouble.
* '''The Joker''': Just think of this as a game. '''RoboCop''': You're here to play? '''The Joker''': I'm cashing you out.
* '''The Joker''': A new toy! Can I play? '''RoboCop''': You're under arrest, Joker. '''The Joker''': Oh, goody! Cops and robbers.
* '''Johnny Cage''': You ever consider doing movies? '''RoboCop''': Are you serious? '''Johnny Cage''': Absolutely. Can you sing?
* '''Johnny Cage''': Part man. Part machine. All cop. '''RoboCop''': That is correct. '''Johnny Cage''': Please tell me no one's signed you.
* '''RoboCop''': How can I help you, Cage? '''Johnny Cage''': Research! I'm a robot cop in my next blockbuster. '''RoboCop''': What do you want to know?
* '''RoboCop''': Your police films are unrealistic. '''Johnny Cage''': Fans don't want real, they want BOOM! '''RoboCop''': It's a disservice to the public.
* '''Sonya Blade''': You're hiding things from us. '''RoboCop''': Some of my directives are classified. '''Sonya Blade''': Allies don't keep secrets.
* '''RoboCop''': Planning on taking me down? '''Sonya Blade''': Pushing you to be all you can be. '''RoboCop''': Thank you for the assistance.
* '''RoboCop''': Kano is coming with me. '''Sonya Blade''': Can it, Tinhead. '''RoboCop''': Let's keep this professional, Lieutenant.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Surrender Kano to the Special Forces. '''RoboCop''': He's my prisoner, Lieutenant. '''Sonya Blade''': Gonna wish you hadn't said that.
* '''Cassie Cage''': There something wrong, Murphy? '''RoboCop''': My targeting system is a little messed up. '''Cassie Cage''': We can get that fixed.
* '''RoboCop''': You are Johnny Cage's daughter? '''Cassie Cage''': Ha! Shocked I'm not some Beverly Hills brat? '''RoboCop''': Yes.
* '''RoboCop''': Aren't you young to be commander? '''Cassie Cage''': I've got game, old-timer. Just try me. '''RoboCop''': Your call.
* '''Cassie Cage''': I hear you have some new tricks. '''RoboCop''': Your Special Forces has given me upgrades. '''Cassie Cage''': Show me what you've got!
* '''RoboCop''': Your arms need an upgrade? '''Jax''': Think OCP can help me out? '''RoboCop''': You do not want them to own you.
* '''RoboCop''': I have been told about a cop here named Stryker. '''Jax''': He wasn't just a cop. He was Super Cop. '''RoboCop''': It's too bad I cannot meet him.
* '''Jax''': So you're after Kano, too? '''RoboCop''': He's wanted for many crimes on my Earth. '''Jax''': Damn, that guy gets around.
* '''Jax''': You got any original parts left? '''RoboCop''': Just what's under the helmet. '''Jax''': And I thought losing my arms was bad.
* '''Spawn''': So your ass got resurrected, too. '''RoboCop''': For the company's benefit, not mine. '''Spawn''': It's a special kind of hell, isn't it?
* '''Spawn''': There still a man under all that shit? '''RoboCop''': Bad language makes for bad feelings. '''Spawn''': Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.
* '''RoboCop''': How is it you know me? '''Spawn''': I know all damned souls, Murphy. '''RoboCop''': Malebolgia won't have mine.
* '''RoboCop''': Cease and desist, Spawn. '''Spawn''': Vigilantes get you all worked up? '''RoboCop''': All must obey the law.
* '''Scorpion''': Your wife and son? '''RoboCop''': They are lost to me now. '''Scorpion''': The same pain sears both our hearts.
* '''Scorpion''': Did you avenge your murder? '''RoboCop''': My killers are dead, Scorpion. '''Scorpion''': That is true justice.
* '''RoboCop''': Allow me to search the Fire Gardens. '''Scorpion''': You will not find Kano among the Shirai Ryu. '''RoboCop''': I must be certain.
* '''RoboCop''': We do not have to do this. '''Scorpion''': All cyborgs are abominations. '''RoboCop''': You have no proof for that charge.
* '''RoboCop''': What crimes have you planned? '''Noob Saibot''': Judging me by my appearance? '''RoboCop''': By your history, Bi-Han.
* '''Noob Saibot''': Your fate is sealed by a curse. '''RoboCop''': What do you mean? '''Noob Saibot''': Doomed is your soul, damned is your life.
* '''Noob Saibot''': You have crossed my line of death. '''RoboCop''': It is not game over yet. '''Noob Saibot''': All that's left is your demise.
* '''RoboCop''': I have faced death before. '''Noob Saibot''': Your creators won't restore you this time. '''RoboCop''':  They'll fix me. They fix everything.
* '''RoboCop''': How are Tarkatan laws enforced? '''Baraka''' With gnashing teeth and sharpened blades. '''RoboCop''': I would not call that justice.
* '''RoboCop''': A monster like you should be locked up. '''Baraka''': You won't be the one to do it. '''RoboCop''': You are coming with me.
* '''Baraka''': What in the Ten Hells are you? '''RoboCop''': The future of law enforcement. '''Baraka''': Ha! You'll soon be a scrap heap.
* '''Baraka''': My blades will shred your metal. '''RoboCop''': Assaulting an officer is a felony. '''Baraka''': You won't live to report my 'crime'.
* '''Sub-Zero''': Did your creators extinguish your soul? '''RoboCop''': Despite their best efforts, no? '''Sub-Zero''': You may yet still be worthy of the Lin Kuei.
* '''RoboCop''': I need help to catch Kano. '''Raiden''': First, prove yourself worthy of the Order of Light. '''RoboCop''': If I must.
* '''RoboCop''': You would like to test my abilities? '''Raiden''': To determine the goodness of your soul. '''RoboCop'''': Through kombat?
* '''Raiden''': What brings you to Earthrealm, officer? '''RoboCop''': I am pursuing a fugitive named Kano. '''Raiden''': Do not let your search disturb our peace.
* '''Raiden''': Join us against Kronika. '''RoboCop''': I have my own home to protect and serve. '''Raiden''': You disappoint me, Alex Murphy.
* '''Kitana''': Your pursuit of Kano ends at our border. '''RoboCop''': I have to go where the trail leads me. '''Kitana''': Outworld won't recognize your authority.
* '''Kano''': You supposed to be Super Cop?. '''RoboCop''': I'm Officer Alex Murphy. '''Kano''': You're a dead man, you yobbo.
* '''Skarlet''': You're making assumptions about me, officer. '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Skarlet''': I'm not evil, just hungry.
* '''Skarlet''': I cannot smell your blood. '''RoboCop''': There is little left of me that's organic. '''Skarlet''': Then killing you won't cure my hunger.
* '''Sindel''': Why patrol the streets, when you can serve me? '''RoboCop''': That is not a privilege I need. '''Sindel''': My dear officer, you don't have a choice.
* '''RoboCop''': I know all about you. '''Sindel''': Then bow to me with the required reverence. '''RoboCop''': I am taking you in, Sindel.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Sindel''': Ha ha ha! I am not bound by your laws. '''RoboCop''': You have twenty seconds to comply.
* '''RoboCop''': The answer is no, Cetrion. '''Cetrion''': What virtue is there in resistance? '''RoboCop''': I cannot function outside of my prime directives.
* '''Sheeva''': Abandon Malebolgia and serve me. '''Spawn''': You always get what you want? '''Sheeva''': I can be very persuasive.
* '''Sheeva''': Kintaro? Goro? Do they live? '''Sheeva (other player)''': They are both dead, in my timeline. '''Sheeva''': I knew they were the weaker links.
* '''Mileena''': Mother wants us to live as sisters. '''Kitana''': Further proof that she's lost her mind. '''Mileena''': Come. Let us be a family.
* '''Kitana''': Begone, Mileena! '''Mileena''': You would banish me, sister? '''Kitana''': No. I will finish you.
* '''Kitana''': Stay away from Liu Kang. '''Mileena''': Afraid your new lover will prefer me? '''Kitana''': That you'll eat him, Mileena.
* '''Rambo''': Don't start a war you can't win. '''Mileena''': Speaking from experience? '''Rambo''': Yeah.
* '''Rambo''': I've heard you're a freak. '''Mileena''': By whom?! I'll eat them alive! '''Rambo''': Guess I heard right.
* '''Mileena''': You turned down my father. '''Rambo''': That's because I'm no aggressor. '''Mileena''': Either conquer, or be conquered.
* '''Mileena''': You're a dangerous man. '''Rambo''': Only when people push me. '''Mileena''': As you wish.
* '''Spawn''': I'll give you a bad case of indigestion. '''Mileena''': I'll risk it, to have a bite. '''Spawn''': Do it -- you'll pay for it.
* '''Spawn''': Out of my way, lady. '''Mileena''': Only if you best me in kombat. '''Spawn''': Bring it.
* '''Mileena''': You object to Shao Kahn? '''Spawn''': Half the Empire lives in slavery. '''Mileena''': Eventually, all will serve him.
* '''Mileena''': What did you do to my father?! '''Spawn''': I sent him to oblivion. '''Mileena''': You will join him, Hellspawn!
* '''Mileena''': You Shaolin are so arrogant. '''Kung Lao''': Actually Mileena, that is just me. '''Mileena''': I will enjoy devouring your ego.
* '''Kung Lao''': You do know that everyone prefers Kitana to you. '''Mileena''': Not my father, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': A man not known for his intelligence.
* '''Kung Lao''': Skarlet, D'Vorah, you. I can't choose. '''Mileena''': Choose what, human? '''Kung Lao''': Who is the creepiest woman of Outworld.
* '''The Terminator''': According to my files, you are unique. '''Mileena''': Your files are correct. '''The Terminator''': Then your death is also extinction.
* '''Jax''': We have Shang Tsung to thank for you? '''Mileena''': Who else but the great sorcerer? '''Jax''': Reason number 5000 that man is on my shit list.
* '''Jade''': The unholy abomination. '''Mileena''': Greets the bootlicking sycophant. '''Jade''': For Kitana Kahn, you will die.
* '''Fujin''': Shao Kahn will not retake the throne. '''Mileena''': My father is inevitable, Fujin. '''Fujin''': Under the weight of my wind, he will snap.
* '''Erron Black''': Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad? '''Mileena''': When I gained the throne, you abandoned it. '''Erron Black''': Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.
* '''Mileena''': A coin for your thoughts, Erron? '''Erron Black''': Just trying to reckon why the hell you're back. '''Mileena''': A million souls cried out for my return.
* '''Cetrion''': Your dual nature is Kronika's gift. '''Mileena''': But it was Shang Tsung who created me. '''Cetrion''': Whom do you think inspired him?
* '''Jacqui''': Didn't lose a wink after watching you die. '''Mileena''': Nor will I, after eviscerating your corpse. '''Jacqui''': And that right there is why.
* '''Cetrion''': I see the fire in your eyes, Mileena. '''Mileena''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Kronika altered our deal!]] '''Cetrion''': [[The Empire Strikes Back|Pray she does not alter it further.]]
* '''Mileena''': You weren't helping me, you were using me! '''Rain''': And you were a most useful idiot. '''Mileena''': (snarling)
* '''Rain''': Direct your anger at Tanya, Mileena. '''Mileena''': It was you who betrayed me, not her! '''Rain''': Think, Mileena. Who introduced us?
* '''D'Vorah''': Do not poke the Hive, Mileena. '''Mileena''': I will wipe it from the face of Outworld. '''D'Vorah''': The Kytinn are many, you are one.
* '''D'Vorah''': This One is displeased by your presence. '''Mileena''': Then you'll be happy I'm ending your life. '''D'Vorah''': It is you who dies today, Mileena.
* '''Kabal''': Bullshit you can imitate Kitana, not with that mouth. '''Mileena''': (imitating Kitana) Now do you believe, Kabal? '''Kabal''': How in the hell is that possible?
* '''Mileena''': We both despise D'Vorah. '''Johnny Cage''': Doesn't mean we'll make a buddy picture. '''Mileena''': Just think of the possibilities.
* '''Mileena''': I want the Hourglass. '''Geras''': It is beyond your feeble mind to control it. '''Mileena''': Ha! What little you know, construct.
* '''Liu Kang''': You are more like Sindel than Kitana. '''Mileena''': You flatter me, Shaolin. '''Liu Kang''': No, Mileena. Not at all.
* '''Liu Kang''': Serving Shao Kahn is folly. '''Mileena''': One day I will inherit his empire. '''Liu Kang''': It is doomed to collapse, Mileena.
* '''RoboCop''': I never anticipated this fight. '''Mileena''': Do I make you nervous? '''RoboCop''': No.
* '''RoboCop''': Come with me. You must stand trial. '''Mileena''': I'll turn myself in. Trust me. '''RoboCop''': Not a chance.
* '''Mileena''': What caused you to track me down? '''RoboCop''': A cop knows evil in his gut. '''Mileena''': It is my sister you seek, not me.
* '''Kano''': Well color me gobsmacked. You and Tanya? '''Mileena''': Name your price, Kano. I must avenge her. '''Kano''': Because it's personal, it's gonna cost extra.
* '''Sindel''': Daughter, welcome! '''Mileena''': You accept me as Kitana's sister? '''Sindel''': As her replacement, should you pass this test.
* '''Sindel''': You disappoint me, Mileena. '''Mileena''': How have I offended you, mother? '''Sindel''': The Shaolin monk still lives.
* '''Scorpion''': You choose enemies poorly. '''Mileena''': You're right, this will be too easy. '''Scorpion''': Burn in hellfire, Mileena.
* '''Scorpion''': Clones are worse than Cyber Lin Kuei. '''Mileena''': Why so vehement, Scorpion? '''Scorpion''': You are a perversion of nature.
* '''Kotal Kahn''': Mileena. '''Mileena''': Osh-Tekk Usurper! '''Kotal Kahn''': Outworld's deliverer.
* '''Mileena''': Pledge fealty to Shao Kahn's daughter. '''Sonya Blade''': Whatever, you do nothing bitch. '''Mileena''': On your knees, Earthrealmer!
* '''Sonya Blade''': Shao Kahn can't be far behind you. '''Mileena''': And there's nothing in your arsenal that can stop him. '''Sonya Blade''': Two words, bitch: Nuclear. Weapons.
* '''Sheeva''': You and your mother are queens of deception. '''Mileena''': Lies are the ultimate weapon. '''Sheeva''': Your war on truth will be defeated!
* '''Skarlet''': I can smell your half-breed blood. '''Mileena''': The mixture is unappealing? '''Skarlet''': No, Mileena. It is tantalizing.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So technically, you're Kitana's sister? '''Mileena''': At least until I end her life. '''Cassie Cage''': Thank God I'm an only child.
* '''Mileena''': You aided Kotal Kahn against me. '''Cassie Cage''': Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast. '''Mileena''': For that, I will devour your flesh!
* '''Frost''': How did you become Kahn? '''Mileena''': I was my father's rightful heir! '''Frost''': But too weak to hold the throne.
* '''Mileena''': But for you, Tanya would be alive. '''Rain''': I am not to blame for your failed rebellion. '''Mileena''': It was your plan, Rain!
* '''Mileena''': My sister is now Kahn?! '''Jade''': And she rules Outworld justly and with grace. '''Mileena''': How dare she destroy my empire!
* '''Frost''': What's on your [[Prince (musician)|dirty mind]]? '''Rain''': I need someone [[w:Under the Cherry Moon|cool to rule my world]]. '''Frost''': That's some fantasy, but it's not mine.
* '''Rain''': You must miss being Kahnum. '''Mileena''': I enjoyed its [[Sheila E.|glamorous life]]. '''Rain''': A pity you won't have it again.
* '''Jax''': We've got you surrounded, Rain. '''Rain''': Then shall we begin the party? '''Jax''': [[w:1999 (Prince song)|Party's over. You're out of time.]]
* '''The Joker''': We meet again, sweet prince! '''Rain''': This time we battle to the last. '''The Joker''': (laughs) Let's go crazy! (Prince reference)
* '''Cetrion''': Argus has made mistakes. '''Rain''': The first was denying that I'm his son! '''Cetrion''': His first was fathering you.
* '''Kung Lao''': You cannot defeat me. '''Rain''': I will rain death upon you, Kung Lao. '''Kung Lao''': Good thing I brought a hat.
* '''Kung Lao''': Is it true Edenians worship you? '''Rain''': Those that do, are blessed with my faith. '''Kung Lao''': Their faith is misplaced.
* '''Liu Kang''': It is time we settle this, Rain. '''Rain''': Persist, and risk a god's wrath. '''Liu Kang''': Note how I tremble in fear.
* '''Fujin''': I knew your father, Rain. '''Rain''': Then acknowledge my godhood. '''Fujin''': You are unworthy to be his heir.
* '''Spawn''': Ambition's got its hook into you bad. '''Rain''': Here to keep me down? '''Spawn''': No, to bury you in hell.
* '''Spawn''': Still pissed at your father, aren't you? '''Rain''': Argus should have trusted me to rule Edenia. '''Spawn''': He saw through your shit just like I do.
* '''Shang Tsung''': I will torment you for eternity. '''Rain''': You would be killed in the attempt, sorcerer. '''Shang Tsung''': And now a taste of things to come.
* '''Shao Kahn''': You could have served, Rain. '''Rain''': I would much rather steal your empire. '''Shao Kahn''': Ha ha ha! You fool.
* '''Cassie Cage''': How about that. Another wannabe emperor. '''Rain''': It's not wise to insult a god. '''Cassie Cage''': It's the least I'm doing to you.
* '''Cassie Cage''': So what's your problem with Earthrealm? '''Rain''': All of its denizens are beneath me, woman. '''Cassie Cage''': And the award for &quot;Most Pretentious Prick&quot; goes to...
* '''Cassie Cage''': Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain. '''Rain''': Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer? '''Cassie Cage''': Everybody forgets how to fucking drive.
* '''Cassie Cage''': You're pretty high on yourself, Rain. '''Rain''': Should I not be? I'm a god. '''Cassie Cage''': You sure you and dad aren't twins?
* '''Rain''': You are not divine. '''Cassie Cage''': And yet, your ass is still mine. '''Rain''': You will choke on your hubris.
* '''Kabal''': So who the hell names their kid &quot;Rain&quot;? '''Rain''': Do not dare insult my mother! '''Kabal''': She didn't do you any favors, friend!
* '''Kotal Kahn''': You have not yet suffered for your rebellion. '''Rain''': Nor will I ever, Kotal. '''Kotal Kahn''': Today, you will face Osh-Tekk justice.
* '''Rambo''': You're full of shit. '''Rain''': Truly, I have no designs on your Earth. '''Rambo''': Guys like you are never satisfied.
* '''Sub-Zero''': You are a half god. '''Rain''': The first born son of Argus. '''Sub-Zero''': That claim holds no water.
* '''RoboCop''': You betrayed Kotal Kahn to Mileena. '''Rain''': Given the chance, I would have betrayed her. '''RoboCop''': You are not to be trusted.
* '''D'Vorah''': Argus himself found you unworthy. '''Rain''': No, my father feared me, D'Vorah. '''D'Vorah''': Then you are fortunate he let you live.
* '''Skarlet''': You do not respect me. '''Rain''': You are of the streets, I am of the heavens. '''Skarlet''': I will bleed out your ego.
* '''Sonya Blade''': Kronika sure has it in for you. '''Rain''': Because I laughed at her ludicrous offer. '''Sonya Blade''': That makes two of us.
* '''Kitana''': What happened to Tanya? '''Rain''': For her treason, Kotal killed her. '''Kitana''': You face the same punishment, Rain.
* '''Geras''': The bastard son of Argus. '''Rain''': I am his heir, Geras. '''Geras''': Not in this, or any other timeline.

== Voice cast ==
* Ron Yuan as Scorpion
* Steve Blum as Sub-Zero, Baraka
** Dimitri 'Vegas' Thivaios as Dimitri Vegas Sub-Zero
* Andrew Bowen as Johnny Cage
** [[Linden Ashby]] as 1995 Johnny Cage
* Richard Epcar as Raiden, The Joker
** [[Christopher Lambert]] as 1995 Raiden
* Phil LaMarr as Kotal Kahn
* Troy Baker as Erron Black, Shinnok
* [[Ronda Rousey]] as Sonya Blade
** [[Bridgette Wilson]] as 1995 Sonya Blade
* Erica Lindbeck as Cassie Cage
* Megalyn Echikunwoke as Jacqui Briggs
* William C. Stephens as Jax
* Kari Wahlgren as Kitana, Mileena
* Andrew Morgado as Kollector
* Beata Poźniak as Skarlet
* Sunil Malhotra as Kung Lao
* Matthew Yang King as Liu Kang, Fujin
* Mela Lee as Jade
* Dave B. Mitchell as Geras, Sektor
* Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Cetrion
* Sara Cravens as Frost
* Vanessa Marshall as Sheeva
* Jonathan Cahill as Kabal
* Kelly Hu as D'Vorah
* Ike Amadi as Shao Kahn, Cyrax
* Sean Chiplock as Noob Saibot, Kharon
* JB Blanc as Kano
* Jennifer Hale as Kronika
* Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa as Shang Tsung
* Daniel Lujan as Nightwolf
* Chris Cox as The Terminator
* Mara Junot as Sindel
* Keith David as Spawn
* Peter Weller as RoboCop
* Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo
* Dempsey Pappion as Rain

==External links==


{{Wikipedia}}

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    <title>War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)</title>
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      <text bytes="24192" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2001_War_in_Afghanistan_collage_3.jpg|thumb|The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Delta_force_GIs_disguised_as_Afghan_civilians,_November_2001_C.jpg|thumb| It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]]. ~ Abdul Haq]]
[[File:1998_Embassy_Bombings_memorial_-_Arlington_National_Cemetery.jpg|thumb|It was not clear how to get at [[al-Qaida]] in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the [[Taliban]]. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:US_Embassy_bombing_memorial_in_Nairobi.jpg|thumb|If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved we would be ready to hand him over to a third country. ~ [[w:Haji Abdul Kabir|Haji Abdul Kabir]]]]
[[File:Afghan_Opium_Production_2005_2007.JPG|thumb|Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters. ~ Alfred W. McCoy]]

The '''[[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|War in Afghanistan (2001-present)]]''' (or the '''US War in Afghanistan''' or the Afghanistan War), code named [[w:Operation Enduring Freedom| Operation Enduring Freedom]] (2001–14) and [[w:Operation Freedom's Sentinel|Operation Freedom's Sentinel ]](2015–present), followed the [[w:United States invasion of Afghanistan|United States invasion of Afghanistan]] of 7 October 2001, when the [[United States of America]] and its allies successfully drove the [[Taliban]] from [[power]] in order to deny [[al-Qaeda]] a [[safe]] base of operations in [[Afghanistan]]. Since the initial objectives were completed, a coalition of over 40 countries (including all [[NATO]] members) formed a [[security]] mission in the country. 

== Quotes ==

===[[w:2001 in Afghanistan|2001]]===
* The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001).  

* Despite efforts by the Taliban to disrupt these critical aid shipments, we will deliver food and seeds, vaccines and medicines by truck, and even by draft animals. Conditions permitting, we will bring help directly to the people of Afghanistan by air drops.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001). 

* If the [[Taliban]] is given evidence that [[Osama bin Laden]] is involved [...] we would be ready to hand him over to a third country.
** {{w|Abdul Kabir}},  as qtd. in Staff and agencies (14 October 2001). [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/oct/14/afghanistan.terrorism5 &quot;Bush rejects Taliban offer to hand Bin Laden over&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (Archived from the original on 25 August 2013. Retrieved 23 October 2018)

* [[America]] has given [[evidence]] to other countries, we do not say anything. If Americans are convinced that they have solid evidence, we are ready for his trial in Afghanistan, and they have to produce that evidence.&quot; 
** {{w|Abdul Salam Zaeef}}, made the offer at a news conference in Islamabad Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (October 7, 2001).

===[[w:2002 in Afghanistan|2002]]===
*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey]]''': So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?	
:'''Pentagon''':Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
:'''Huey''': Is that right?
:'''Pentagon''': Yep. Hey told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
:'''Huey''': Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
:'''Pentagon''': Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers '''really''' satisfies… 	
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (9/20/2002).

===[[w:2004 in Afghanistan|2004]]===
* The report drawn up by the commission's staff said: &quot;From the spring of 1997 to September 2001, the US government tried to persuade the [[Taliban]] to expel [[Osama bin Laden|Bin Laden]] to a country where he could face justice. The efforts employed inducements, warnings and sanctions. All these efforts failed.&quot;  &lt;br&gt; At a meeting of the Bush administration's top [[w:National security|national security]] officials on September 10, a three-phase strategy was agreed. &lt;br&gt; The Taliban would be presented with a final ultimatum to hand over Bin Laden. Failing that, covert military aid would be channeled to anti-Taliban groups. If both those options failed, &quot;the deputies agreed that the United States would seek to overthrow the Taliban regime through more direct action.&quot;
** [[Julian Borger]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004)

* We did not take into account during that period the kind of actions we were prepared to follow after 9/11, tt was not clear how to get at al-Qaida in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the Taliban. [...] President Bush and his entire national security team understood that terrorism had to be among our highest priorities, and it was.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in Julian Borger, [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004).

* A retired army colonel commissioned by the Pentagon to examine the war in Afghanistan concluded the conflict created conditions that have given &quot;[[w:Warlrd|warlordism]], [[banditry]] and [[w:Opium|opium]] production a new lease on life,&quot; ''[[w:The New Yorker|The New Yorker]]'' reported on Sunday.
** Hy Rothstein, ''The New Yorker'', (Sunday, 3 April 2004); as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040405213413/http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/southasia/view/78653/1/.html ''Channel news Asia''] archived from the original on (2004-04-05).

===2007=== 

*Through the midwestern United States, Kansas and the central states, there have been hundreds of tornadoes one after the  other for days, leaving paths of destruction 400 miles wide and killing many people. These are called ''acts of nature'', ''acts of God.'' But they are in this case a result of the [[Karma|Law of Karma]]. The crisis that manifested itself as the SARS infection in China and elsewhere, for example, the epidemics of flu throughout Europe, are the '''direct results of the [[fear]] generated from the crisis conditions set up by the [[War on Terror|US attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq.]] It is not a question of God punishing the aggressor. It is a simple law of the interconnectedness of all [[Atom|atoms]] in the universe.''' What happens here sets up something that will inevitably happen elsewhere by the law of action and reaction. When humanity truly understands this law, the  Law of Karma, not just as an intellectual idea, it will see that every thought, every action, sets into motion a cause or causes. The effects stemming from these causes make our lives for good or ill. The need for [[harmlessness]] in every action in our lives becomes apparent. When we act, we have to know what the result of this action could be. If the action is destructive, it produces destruction in the world. '''If the action is not destructive, if it is creative, if it is harmless, it creates harmlessness, it creates good in the world.'''  p. 11-12
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

===[[w:2010 in Afghanistan|2010]]===
{{See also|Operation Moshtarak}}
* As for [[w:Marja (town)|Marjah]], its mention at all in the same breath as the [[American Revolution]] or the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] is truly grotesque. The little farming communities that {{w|the Pentagon}} PR machine lyingly described as a small city swarming with [[Taliban]] fighters was nothing but a staged and carefully managed battle set, designed to make Americans forget that the US was (and is) bogged down in [[w:Afghanistan Papers|an unwinnable]] [[w:War of aggression|war of conquest]] and [[w:Military occupation|occupation]] [[War in Afghanistan (2001–present)|in Afghanistan]]. The few American soldiers and [[United States Marine Corps|Marines]] who died there died for the sake of White Hours and Pentagon [[w:Propaganda in the United States|propaganda]], not for the sake of defending Americans’ vaunted freedoms. The set has now been torn down, the klieg lights have been turned off, and “Marjah” has reverted to Taliban territory again.
** [[Dave Lindorff]] on [[Barack Obama]]'s [[w:Weekly address of the President of the United States|Weekly Address]] in May 29, 2010. ''[https://www.counterpunch.org/2010/05/31/the-glorification-of-war/ The Glorification of War]'' (May 31, 2010), ''{{w|CounterPunch}}''.

===[[w:2011 in Afghanistan|2011]]===
* It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]].
** [[w:Abdul Haq (Afghan leader)|Abdul Haq]], [https://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2011/11/haq-afghanistan-taliban-kabul &quot;The lost lion of Kabul&quot;], ''The New Statesman'', 2011

===[[w:2015 in Afghanistan|2015]]===
* US troops stationed in Afghanistan came to the realization that some Afghan commanders were sexually abusing local boys and though they often heard the boys screaming, the US Army told them to ignore it, a New York Times report says.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

* Another witness of similar practices was Dan Quinn, a former special forces captain. He witnessed several cases of Afghan militia abusing local children, boys and girls.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

===[[w:2016 in Afghanistan|2016]]===
* We know from long experience in [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan|Afghanistan]] to take territory, hold territory, and govern territory and prevent a reemergence of a terrorist group.
** [[Ash Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose], (February 2016)

* In Afghanistan, the [[w:Rules of engagement|rules of engagement]] sometimes were stricter than [[w:Use of force|use-of-force]] [[rules]] for [[w:Civilian|civilian]] [[police]] in [[America]]. Erica Gaston, a [[human rights]] [[lawyer]] who studied the military's rules of engagement in Afghanistan, said that especially was true in the later years of the war. &lt;br&gt; &quot;There was an emphasis on [[w:Winning hearts and minds|winning hearts and minds]], and focusing more on stabilizing [[communities]] and protecting the civilian population.&quot;
** Erica Gaston as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/12/08/504718239/military-trained-police-may-be-slower-to-shoot-but-that-got-this-vet-fired “Military-Trained Police May Be Less Hasty To Shoot, But That Got This Vet Fired”], by Quil Lawrence and Martin Kaste, ''[[w:Morning Edition|Morning Edition]]'', ''NPR'', (December 8, 2016)

===[[w:2017 in Afghanistan|2017]]===
* There is no doubt that as the United States winds down the Afghan war — the longest in American history, and one that has cost half a trillion dollars and more than 150,000 lives on all sides — regional adversaries are muscling in. &lt;br&gt; [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[Pakistan]] remain the dominant players. But [[Iran]] is also making a bold gambit to shape Afghanistan in its favor.
** {{w|Carlotta Gall}}, ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/iran-afghanistan-taliban.html In Afghanistan, US Exits, and Iran Comes In]'', 5 August 2017, ''[[The New York Times]]''

===[[w:2018 in Afghanistan|2018]]===
* After fighting the longest [[war]] in its [[history]], the [[US]] stands at the brink of defeat in [[Afghanistan]]. How could this be possible? How could the world’s sole superpower have battled continuously for more than 16 years – deploying more than 100,000 troops at the conflict’s peak, sacrificing the lives of nearly 2,300 soldiers, spending more than $1tn (£740bn) on its military operations, lavishing a record $100bn more on “nation-building”, helping fund and train an army of 350,000 Afghan allies – and still not be able to pacify one of the world’s most impoverished nations? 
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters.
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* For over a decade after the fall of the [[Taliban]] regime in December 2001, [[China]] preferred to be a mere spectator of the dramatic events unfolding in [[Afghanistan]]. Unlike other countries, which sent troops to participate in counterinsurgency operations and contributed financial and other support for reconstruction of the war-ravaged country, [[Beijing]] maintained a low profile. &lt;br&gt; China did not send troops to Afghanistan as it was not interested in being a “subordinate partner” of the U.S.-led alliance in that country. Besides, its goals in Afghanistan were “limited,” Zhao Huasheng, a professor at Fudan University in Shanghai pointed out. Unlike the Western powers, China was not interested in “rebuilding Afghanistan politically” or in altering its “political structures, social patterns or ideological orientations.” &lt;br&gt; While China avoided participating in multilateral efforts in Afghanistan in the 2002-12 period, it maintained close ties with the Afghan government. It signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Good Neighborly Relations with Kabul in 2006. Two years later, Chinese companies won a $3 billion contract to extract copper from the Mes Aynak mines in Logar province. &lt;br&gt; It was in the context of the U.S. drawdown of troops from Afghanistan and the possibility of the country descending into chaos that China began stepping up its involvement in Afghan affairs in 2012.
** Sudha Ramachandran, [https://thediplomat.com/2018/06/is-china-bringing-peace-to-afghanistan/ &quot;Is China Bringing Peace to Afghanistan?&quot;] ''The Diplomat'', (06/2018)

===[[w:2020 in Afghanistan|2020]]===
* [[w:United States House of Representatives|Rep.]] [[Liz Cheney]], daughter of [[Dick Cheney|Dick]], is trying to prolong her father's {{w|endless war}} in Afghanistan. You would think that every [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]] would be united in opposing such a [[policy]], right? Well, you would be wrong. It’s not every day that you wake up in your blue state and learn that one of your newly elected Democratic congresspeople is joining with a Cheney to try to prolong the longest war in American history. But that’s what happened this week, when [[w:Politics of Colorado|Colorado]]'s freshman [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] Rep. [[Jason Crow]] teamed up with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] Rep. Liz Cheney to advance legislation that would make it more difficult for any [[President of the United States|president]] to [[w:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan|draw down troop deployments]] in [[Afghanistan]]. I live in the same media market as Crow's district. I can tell you that [[w:Jason Crow#Elections|his 2018 campaign]] was focused on [[w:Jason Crow#Gun control|gun control]]. It was not a campaign promising voters that he would go to Washington to make common cause with Liz Cheney, and help her efforts to glorify and fortify her daddy's policy of endless war. But that’s exactly what his bill does. [...] Cheney initiatives that may seem superficially reasonable when calmly uttered by a Cheney usually have an insane ulterior motive. In this case, that truism applies: The Crow-Cheney legislation may sound like it includes reasonable requests, but they are designed to make the Afghanistan deployment permanent. In practice, nobody can predict with 100 percent certainty what will ensue once a nineteen-year {{w|military occupation}} ends. What we can know is that it’s a bad idea to continue a policy that isn’t working — and there’s plenty of evidence that it isn’t.
** [[David Sirota]], ''[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/07/afghanistan-war-liz-cheney-jason-crow Democrats Are Working With Liz Cheney to Prolong Dick Cheney’s Endless War]'', 3 July 2020, ''[[w:Jacobin (magazine)|Jacobin]]''

* The tragic events of [[9/11]] provided the required justification to wage war on Afghanistan on “humanitarian grounds”, with the full support of World public opinion and the endorsement of the “international community”.  
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

* In the wake of 9/11, the antiwar movement was completely isolated. The trade unions and civil society organizations had swallowed the media lies and government propaganda. They had accepted a war of retribution against Afghanistan, an impoverished country in Central Asia of 30 million people[...]
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

===[[w:2021 in Afghanistan|2021]]===
{{main|2021 Taliban offensive}}
*After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell], October 11, 2021

=== Post-war (2022-) ===

* During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 54-55

* Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55

* When I served in Afghanistan, my job- as a counterinsurgency instructor- was to study the insurgency, meaning the Taliban. In short, we taught both Americans and Afghans that they needed to know the terrain, especially the human terrain. Who is our enemy? What motivates them? And how to they leverage and/or exploit the population? From there, we looked at the &quot;root causes&quot; of population grievances that our enemy was experiencing. Finally, our job was to find sustainable solutions that advanced the legitimacy of the Afghan Army, police, and government. Know the human terrain, identify root causes for problems, find sustainable solutions, and legitimize our allies. It sounded great, and I knew how to teach the hell out of it.&lt;br&gt;But, as it turns out, we always missed the mark on all aspects of what we taught. You know who did not miss the mark? The Taliban. They knew exactly who their people were, their root causes were clear, they were nothing if not sustainable, and they had legitimacy we could never manufacture.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55-56

* Ideas like religious freedom, freedom of speech, natural rights, and equal justice are the exception in human history, not the rule. They were gifted to us by previous generations. So, when we attempt to replace core aspects of Afghan paideia with our own over just two decades (a blip in human history), it is doomed to fail. If anything, it only strengthens the Afghan paideia- fortifying their belief in the supremacy of their system.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 56-57

== See also ==
* [[Operation Moshtarak]]
* [[War on Terror]] 
* [[Iraq War]]
* [[2021 Taliban offensive]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
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      <text bytes="24797" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2001_War_in_Afghanistan_collage_3.jpg|thumb|The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Delta_force_GIs_disguised_as_Afghan_civilians,_November_2001_C.jpg|thumb| It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]]. ~ Abdul Haq]]
[[File:200229-D-AP390-1529 (49603221753).jpg|thumb|mericans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]
[[File:1998_Embassy_Bombings_memorial_-_Arlington_National_Cemetery.jpg|thumb|It was not clear how to get at [[al-Qaida]] in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the [[Taliban]]. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:US_Embassy_bombing_memorial_in_Nairobi.jpg|thumb|If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved we would be ready to hand him over to a third country. ~ [[w:Haji Abdul Kabir|Haji Abdul Kabir]]]]
[[File:Afghan_Opium_Production_2005_2007.JPG|thumb|Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters. ~ Alfred W. McCoy]]

The '''[[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|War in Afghanistan (2001-present)]]''' (or the '''US War in Afghanistan''' or the Afghanistan War), code named [[w:Operation Enduring Freedom| Operation Enduring Freedom]] (2001–14) and [[w:Operation Freedom's Sentinel|Operation Freedom's Sentinel ]](2015–present), followed the [[w:United States invasion of Afghanistan|United States invasion of Afghanistan]] of 7 October 2001, when the [[United States of America]] and its allies successfully drove the [[Taliban]] from [[power]] in order to deny [[al-Qaeda]] a [[safe]] base of operations in [[Afghanistan]]. Since the initial objectives were completed, a coalition of over 40 countries (including all [[NATO]] members) formed a [[security]] mission in the country. 

== Quotes ==

===[[w:2001 in Afghanistan|2001]]===
* The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001).  

* Despite efforts by the Taliban to disrupt these critical aid shipments, we will deliver food and seeds, vaccines and medicines by truck, and even by draft animals. Conditions permitting, we will bring help directly to the people of Afghanistan by air drops.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001). 

* If the [[Taliban]] is given evidence that [[Osama bin Laden]] is involved [...] we would be ready to hand him over to a third country.
** {{w|Abdul Kabir}},  as qtd. in Staff and agencies (14 October 2001). [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/oct/14/afghanistan.terrorism5 &quot;Bush rejects Taliban offer to hand Bin Laden over&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (Archived from the original on 25 August 2013. Retrieved 23 October 2018)

* [[America]] has given [[evidence]] to other countries, we do not say anything. If Americans are convinced that they have solid evidence, we are ready for his trial in Afghanistan, and they have to produce that evidence.&quot; 
** {{w|Abdul Salam Zaeef}}, made the offer at a news conference in Islamabad Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (October 7, 2001).

===[[w:2002 in Afghanistan|2002]]===
*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey]]''': So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?	
:'''Pentagon''':Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
:'''Huey''': Is that right?
:'''Pentagon''': Yep. Hey told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
:'''Huey''': Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
:'''Pentagon''': Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers '''really''' satisfies… 	
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (9/20/2002).

===[[w:2004 in Afghanistan|2004]]===
* The report drawn up by the commission's staff said: &quot;From the spring of 1997 to September 2001, the US government tried to persuade the [[Taliban]] to expel [[Osama bin Laden|Bin Laden]] to a country where he could face justice. The efforts employed inducements, warnings and sanctions. All these efforts failed.&quot;  &lt;br&gt; At a meeting of the Bush administration's top [[w:National security|national security]] officials on September 10, a three-phase strategy was agreed. &lt;br&gt; The Taliban would be presented with a final ultimatum to hand over Bin Laden. Failing that, covert military aid would be channeled to anti-Taliban groups. If both those options failed, &quot;the deputies agreed that the United States would seek to overthrow the Taliban regime through more direct action.&quot;
** [[Julian Borger]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004)

* We did not take into account during that period the kind of actions we were prepared to follow after 9/11, tt was not clear how to get at al-Qaida in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the Taliban. [...] President Bush and his entire national security team understood that terrorism had to be among our highest priorities, and it was.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in Julian Borger, [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004).

* A retired army colonel commissioned by the Pentagon to examine the war in Afghanistan concluded the conflict created conditions that have given &quot;[[w:Warlrd|warlordism]], [[banditry]] and [[w:Opium|opium]] production a new lease on life,&quot; ''[[w:The New Yorker|The New Yorker]]'' reported on Sunday.
** Hy Rothstein, ''The New Yorker'', (Sunday, 3 April 2004); as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040405213413/http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/southasia/view/78653/1/.html ''Channel news Asia''] archived from the original on (2004-04-05).

===2007=== 

*Through the midwestern United States, Kansas and the central states, there have been hundreds of tornadoes one after the  other for days, leaving paths of destruction 400 miles wide and killing many people. These are called ''acts of nature'', ''acts of God.'' But they are in this case a result of the [[Karma|Law of Karma]]. The crisis that manifested itself as the SARS infection in China and elsewhere, for example, the epidemics of flu throughout Europe, are the '''direct results of the [[fear]] generated from the crisis conditions set up by the [[War on Terror|US attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq.]] It is not a question of God punishing the aggressor. It is a simple law of the interconnectedness of all [[Atom|atoms]] in the universe.''' What happens here sets up something that will inevitably happen elsewhere by the law of action and reaction. When humanity truly understands this law, the  Law of Karma, not just as an intellectual idea, it will see that every thought, every action, sets into motion a cause or causes. The effects stemming from these causes make our lives for good or ill. The need for [[harmlessness]] in every action in our lives becomes apparent. When we act, we have to know what the result of this action could be. If the action is destructive, it produces destruction in the world. '''If the action is not destructive, if it is creative, if it is harmless, it creates harmlessness, it creates good in the world.'''  p. 11-12
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

===[[w:2010 in Afghanistan|2010]]===
{{See also|Operation Moshtarak}}
* As for [[w:Marja (town)|Marjah]], its mention at all in the same breath as the [[American Revolution]] or the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] is truly grotesque. The little farming communities that {{w|the Pentagon}} PR machine lyingly described as a small city swarming with [[Taliban]] fighters was nothing but a staged and carefully managed battle set, designed to make Americans forget that the US was (and is) bogged down in [[w:Afghanistan Papers|an unwinnable]] [[w:War of aggression|war of conquest]] and [[w:Military occupation|occupation]] [[War in Afghanistan (2001–present)|in Afghanistan]]. The few American soldiers and [[United States Marine Corps|Marines]] who died there died for the sake of White Hours and Pentagon [[w:Propaganda in the United States|propaganda]], not for the sake of defending Americans’ vaunted freedoms. The set has now been torn down, the klieg lights have been turned off, and “Marjah” has reverted to Taliban territory again.
** [[Dave Lindorff]] on [[Barack Obama]]'s [[w:Weekly address of the President of the United States|Weekly Address]] in May 29, 2010. ''[https://www.counterpunch.org/2010/05/31/the-glorification-of-war/ The Glorification of War]'' (May 31, 2010), ''{{w|CounterPunch}}''.

===[[w:2011 in Afghanistan|2011]]===
* It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]].
** [[w:Abdul Haq (Afghan leader)|Abdul Haq]], [https://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2011/11/haq-afghanistan-taliban-kabul &quot;The lost lion of Kabul&quot;], ''The New Statesman'', 2011

===[[w:2015 in Afghanistan|2015]]===
* US troops stationed in Afghanistan came to the realization that some Afghan commanders were sexually abusing local boys and though they often heard the boys screaming, the US Army told them to ignore it, a New York Times report says.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

* Another witness of similar practices was Dan Quinn, a former special forces captain. He witnessed several cases of Afghan militia abusing local children, boys and girls.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

===[[w:2016 in Afghanistan|2016]]===
* We know from long experience in [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan|Afghanistan]] to take territory, hold territory, and govern territory and prevent a reemergence of a terrorist group.
** [[Ash Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose], (February 2016)

* In Afghanistan, the [[w:Rules of engagement|rules of engagement]] sometimes were stricter than [[w:Use of force|use-of-force]] [[rules]] for [[w:Civilian|civilian]] [[police]] in [[America]]. Erica Gaston, a [[human rights]] [[lawyer]] who studied the military's rules of engagement in Afghanistan, said that especially was true in the later years of the war. &lt;br&gt; &quot;There was an emphasis on [[w:Winning hearts and minds|winning hearts and minds]], and focusing more on stabilizing [[communities]] and protecting the civilian population.&quot;
** Erica Gaston as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/12/08/504718239/military-trained-police-may-be-slower-to-shoot-but-that-got-this-vet-fired “Military-Trained Police May Be Less Hasty To Shoot, But That Got This Vet Fired”], by Quil Lawrence and Martin Kaste, ''[[w:Morning Edition|Morning Edition]]'', ''NPR'', (December 8, 2016)

===[[w:2017 in Afghanistan|2017]]===
* There is no doubt that as the United States winds down the Afghan war — the longest in American history, and one that has cost half a trillion dollars and more than 150,000 lives on all sides — regional adversaries are muscling in. &lt;br&gt; [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[Pakistan]] remain the dominant players. But [[Iran]] is also making a bold gambit to shape Afghanistan in its favor.
** {{w|Carlotta Gall}}, ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/iran-afghanistan-taliban.html In Afghanistan, US Exits, and Iran Comes In]'', 5 August 2017, ''[[The New York Times]]''

===[[w:2018 in Afghanistan|2018]]===
* After fighting the longest [[war]] in its [[history]], the [[US]] stands at the brink of defeat in [[Afghanistan]]. How could this be possible? How could the world’s sole superpower have battled continuously for more than 16 years – deploying more than 100,000 troops at the conflict’s peak, sacrificing the lives of nearly 2,300 soldiers, spending more than $1tn (£740bn) on its military operations, lavishing a record $100bn more on “nation-building”, helping fund and train an army of 350,000 Afghan allies – and still not be able to pacify one of the world’s most impoverished nations? 
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters.
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* For over a decade after the fall of the [[Taliban]] regime in December 2001, [[China]] preferred to be a mere spectator of the dramatic events unfolding in [[Afghanistan]]. Unlike other countries, which sent troops to participate in counterinsurgency operations and contributed financial and other support for reconstruction of the war-ravaged country, [[Beijing]] maintained a low profile. &lt;br&gt; China did not send troops to Afghanistan as it was not interested in being a “subordinate partner” of the U.S.-led alliance in that country. Besides, its goals in Afghanistan were “limited,” Zhao Huasheng, a professor at Fudan University in Shanghai pointed out. Unlike the Western powers, China was not interested in “rebuilding Afghanistan politically” or in altering its “political structures, social patterns or ideological orientations.” &lt;br&gt; While China avoided participating in multilateral efforts in Afghanistan in the 2002-12 period, it maintained close ties with the Afghan government. It signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Good Neighborly Relations with Kabul in 2006. Two years later, Chinese companies won a $3 billion contract to extract copper from the Mes Aynak mines in Logar province. &lt;br&gt; It was in the context of the U.S. drawdown of troops from Afghanistan and the possibility of the country descending into chaos that China began stepping up its involvement in Afghan affairs in 2012.
** Sudha Ramachandran, [https://thediplomat.com/2018/06/is-china-bringing-peace-to-afghanistan/ &quot;Is China Bringing Peace to Afghanistan?&quot;] ''The Diplomat'', (06/2018)

===[[w:2020 in Afghanistan|2020]]===
* [[w:United States House of Representatives|Rep.]] [[Liz Cheney]], daughter of [[Dick Cheney|Dick]], is trying to prolong her father's {{w|endless war}} in Afghanistan. You would think that every [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]] would be united in opposing such a [[policy]], right? Well, you would be wrong. It’s not every day that you wake up in your blue state and learn that one of your newly elected Democratic congresspeople is joining with a Cheney to try to prolong the longest war in American history. But that’s what happened this week, when [[w:Politics of Colorado|Colorado]]'s freshman [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] Rep. [[Jason Crow]] teamed up with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] Rep. Liz Cheney to advance legislation that would make it more difficult for any [[President of the United States|president]] to [[w:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan|draw down troop deployments]] in [[Afghanistan]]. I live in the same media market as Crow's district. I can tell you that [[w:Jason Crow#Elections|his 2018 campaign]] was focused on [[w:Jason Crow#Gun control|gun control]]. It was not a campaign promising voters that he would go to Washington to make common cause with Liz Cheney, and help her efforts to glorify and fortify her daddy's policy of endless war. But that’s exactly what his bill does. [...] Cheney initiatives that may seem superficially reasonable when calmly uttered by a Cheney usually have an insane ulterior motive. In this case, that truism applies: The Crow-Cheney legislation may sound like it includes reasonable requests, but they are designed to make the Afghanistan deployment permanent. In practice, nobody can predict with 100 percent certainty what will ensue once a nineteen-year {{w|military occupation}} ends. What we can know is that it’s a bad idea to continue a policy that isn’t working — and there’s plenty of evidence that it isn’t.
** [[David Sirota]], ''[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/07/afghanistan-war-liz-cheney-jason-crow Democrats Are Working With Liz Cheney to Prolong Dick Cheney’s Endless War]'', 3 July 2020, ''[[w:Jacobin (magazine)|Jacobin]]''

* The tragic events of [[9/11]] provided the required justification to wage war on Afghanistan on “humanitarian grounds”, with the full support of World public opinion and the endorsement of the “international community”.  
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

* In the wake of 9/11, the antiwar movement was completely isolated. The trade unions and civil society organizations had swallowed the media lies and government propaganda. They had accepted a war of retribution against Afghanistan, an impoverished country in Central Asia of 30 million people[...]
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

===[[w:2021 in Afghanistan|2021]]===
{{main|2021 Taliban offensive}}
*After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell], October 11, 2021

=== Post-war (2022-) ===

* During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 54-55

* A'''mericans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55

* When I served in Afghanistan, my job- as a counterinsurgency instructor- was to study the insurgency, meaning the Taliban. In short, we taught both Americans and Afghans that they needed to know the terrain, especially the human terrain. Who is our enemy? What motivates them? And how to they leverage and/or exploit the population? From there, we looked at the &quot;root causes&quot; of population grievances that our enemy was experiencing. Finally, our job was to find sustainable solutions that advanced the legitimacy of the Afghan Army, police, and government. Know the human terrain, identify root causes for problems, find sustainable solutions, and legitimize our allies. It sounded great, and I knew how to teach the hell out of it.&lt;br&gt;But, as it turns out, we always missed the mark on all aspects of what we taught. You know who did not miss the mark? The Taliban. They knew exactly who their people were, their root causes were clear, they were nothing if not sustainable, and they had legitimacy we could never manufacture.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55-56

* Ideas like religious freedom, freedom of speech, natural rights, and equal justice are the exception in human history, not the rule. They were gifted to us by previous generations. So, when we attempt to replace core aspects of Afghan paideia with our own over just two decades (a blip in human history), it is doomed to fail. If anything, it only strengthens the Afghan paideia- fortifying their belief in the supremacy of their system.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 56-57

== See also ==
* [[Operation Moshtarak]]
* [[War on Terror]] 
* [[Iraq War]]
* [[2021 Taliban offensive]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
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      <text bytes="24798" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2001_War_in_Afghanistan_collage_3.jpg|thumb|The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Delta_force_GIs_disguised_as_Afghan_civilians,_November_2001_C.jpg|thumb| It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]]. ~ Abdul Haq]]
[[File:200229-D-AP390-1529 (49603221753).jpg|thumb|Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]
[[File:1998_Embassy_Bombings_memorial_-_Arlington_National_Cemetery.jpg|thumb|It was not clear how to get at [[al-Qaida]] in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the [[Taliban]]. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:US_Embassy_bombing_memorial_in_Nairobi.jpg|thumb|If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved we would be ready to hand him over to a third country. ~ [[w:Haji Abdul Kabir|Haji Abdul Kabir]]]]
[[File:Afghan_Opium_Production_2005_2007.JPG|thumb|Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters. ~ Alfred W. McCoy]]

The '''[[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|War in Afghanistan (2001-present)]]''' (or the '''US War in Afghanistan''' or the Afghanistan War), code named [[w:Operation Enduring Freedom| Operation Enduring Freedom]] (2001–14) and [[w:Operation Freedom's Sentinel|Operation Freedom's Sentinel ]](2015–present), followed the [[w:United States invasion of Afghanistan|United States invasion of Afghanistan]] of 7 October 2001, when the [[United States of America]] and its allies successfully drove the [[Taliban]] from [[power]] in order to deny [[al-Qaeda]] a [[safe]] base of operations in [[Afghanistan]]. Since the initial objectives were completed, a coalition of over 40 countries (including all [[NATO]] members) formed a [[security]] mission in the country. 

== Quotes ==

===[[w:2001 in Afghanistan|2001]]===
* The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001).  

* Despite efforts by the Taliban to disrupt these critical aid shipments, we will deliver food and seeds, vaccines and medicines by truck, and even by draft animals. Conditions permitting, we will bring help directly to the people of Afghanistan by air drops.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001). 

* If the [[Taliban]] is given evidence that [[Osama bin Laden]] is involved [...] we would be ready to hand him over to a third country.
** {{w|Abdul Kabir}},  as qtd. in Staff and agencies (14 October 2001). [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/oct/14/afghanistan.terrorism5 &quot;Bush rejects Taliban offer to hand Bin Laden over&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (Archived from the original on 25 August 2013. Retrieved 23 October 2018)

* [[America]] has given [[evidence]] to other countries, we do not say anything. If Americans are convinced that they have solid evidence, we are ready for his trial in Afghanistan, and they have to produce that evidence.&quot; 
** {{w|Abdul Salam Zaeef}}, made the offer at a news conference in Islamabad Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (October 7, 2001).

===[[w:2002 in Afghanistan|2002]]===
*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey]]''': So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?	
:'''Pentagon''':Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
:'''Huey''': Is that right?
:'''Pentagon''': Yep. Hey told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
:'''Huey''': Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
:'''Pentagon''': Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers '''really''' satisfies… 	
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (9/20/2002).

===[[w:2004 in Afghanistan|2004]]===
* The report drawn up by the commission's staff said: &quot;From the spring of 1997 to September 2001, the US government tried to persuade the [[Taliban]] to expel [[Osama bin Laden|Bin Laden]] to a country where he could face justice. The efforts employed inducements, warnings and sanctions. All these efforts failed.&quot;  &lt;br&gt; At a meeting of the Bush administration's top [[w:National security|national security]] officials on September 10, a three-phase strategy was agreed. &lt;br&gt; The Taliban would be presented with a final ultimatum to hand over Bin Laden. Failing that, covert military aid would be channeled to anti-Taliban groups. If both those options failed, &quot;the deputies agreed that the United States would seek to overthrow the Taliban regime through more direct action.&quot;
** [[Julian Borger]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004)

* We did not take into account during that period the kind of actions we were prepared to follow after 9/11, tt was not clear how to get at al-Qaida in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the Taliban. [...] President Bush and his entire national security team understood that terrorism had to be among our highest priorities, and it was.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in Julian Borger, [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004).

* A retired army colonel commissioned by the Pentagon to examine the war in Afghanistan concluded the conflict created conditions that have given &quot;[[w:Warlrd|warlordism]], [[banditry]] and [[w:Opium|opium]] production a new lease on life,&quot; ''[[w:The New Yorker|The New Yorker]]'' reported on Sunday.
** Hy Rothstein, ''The New Yorker'', (Sunday, 3 April 2004); as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040405213413/http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/southasia/view/78653/1/.html ''Channel news Asia''] archived from the original on (2004-04-05).

===2007=== 

*Through the midwestern United States, Kansas and the central states, there have been hundreds of tornadoes one after the  other for days, leaving paths of destruction 400 miles wide and killing many people. These are called ''acts of nature'', ''acts of God.'' But they are in this case a result of the [[Karma|Law of Karma]]. The crisis that manifested itself as the SARS infection in China and elsewhere, for example, the epidemics of flu throughout Europe, are the '''direct results of the [[fear]] generated from the crisis conditions set up by the [[War on Terror|US attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq.]] It is not a question of God punishing the aggressor. It is a simple law of the interconnectedness of all [[Atom|atoms]] in the universe.''' What happens here sets up something that will inevitably happen elsewhere by the law of action and reaction. When humanity truly understands this law, the  Law of Karma, not just as an intellectual idea, it will see that every thought, every action, sets into motion a cause or causes. The effects stemming from these causes make our lives for good or ill. The need for [[harmlessness]] in every action in our lives becomes apparent. When we act, we have to know what the result of this action could be. If the action is destructive, it produces destruction in the world. '''If the action is not destructive, if it is creative, if it is harmless, it creates harmlessness, it creates good in the world.'''  p. 11-12
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

===[[w:2010 in Afghanistan|2010]]===
{{See also|Operation Moshtarak}}
* As for [[w:Marja (town)|Marjah]], its mention at all in the same breath as the [[American Revolution]] or the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] is truly grotesque. The little farming communities that {{w|the Pentagon}} PR machine lyingly described as a small city swarming with [[Taliban]] fighters was nothing but a staged and carefully managed battle set, designed to make Americans forget that the US was (and is) bogged down in [[w:Afghanistan Papers|an unwinnable]] [[w:War of aggression|war of conquest]] and [[w:Military occupation|occupation]] [[War in Afghanistan (2001–present)|in Afghanistan]]. The few American soldiers and [[United States Marine Corps|Marines]] who died there died for the sake of White Hours and Pentagon [[w:Propaganda in the United States|propaganda]], not for the sake of defending Americans’ vaunted freedoms. The set has now been torn down, the klieg lights have been turned off, and “Marjah” has reverted to Taliban territory again.
** [[Dave Lindorff]] on [[Barack Obama]]'s [[w:Weekly address of the President of the United States|Weekly Address]] in May 29, 2010. ''[https://www.counterpunch.org/2010/05/31/the-glorification-of-war/ The Glorification of War]'' (May 31, 2010), ''{{w|CounterPunch}}''.

===[[w:2011 in Afghanistan|2011]]===
* It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]].
** [[w:Abdul Haq (Afghan leader)|Abdul Haq]], [https://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2011/11/haq-afghanistan-taliban-kabul &quot;The lost lion of Kabul&quot;], ''The New Statesman'', 2011

===[[w:2015 in Afghanistan|2015]]===
* US troops stationed in Afghanistan came to the realization that some Afghan commanders were sexually abusing local boys and though they often heard the boys screaming, the US Army told them to ignore it, a New York Times report says.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

* Another witness of similar practices was Dan Quinn, a former special forces captain. He witnessed several cases of Afghan militia abusing local children, boys and girls.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

===[[w:2016 in Afghanistan|2016]]===
* We know from long experience in [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan|Afghanistan]] to take territory, hold territory, and govern territory and prevent a reemergence of a terrorist group.
** [[Ash Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose], (February 2016)

* In Afghanistan, the [[w:Rules of engagement|rules of engagement]] sometimes were stricter than [[w:Use of force|use-of-force]] [[rules]] for [[w:Civilian|civilian]] [[police]] in [[America]]. Erica Gaston, a [[human rights]] [[lawyer]] who studied the military's rules of engagement in Afghanistan, said that especially was true in the later years of the war. &lt;br&gt; &quot;There was an emphasis on [[w:Winning hearts and minds|winning hearts and minds]], and focusing more on stabilizing [[communities]] and protecting the civilian population.&quot;
** Erica Gaston as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/12/08/504718239/military-trained-police-may-be-slower-to-shoot-but-that-got-this-vet-fired “Military-Trained Police May Be Less Hasty To Shoot, But That Got This Vet Fired”], by Quil Lawrence and Martin Kaste, ''[[w:Morning Edition|Morning Edition]]'', ''NPR'', (December 8, 2016)

===[[w:2017 in Afghanistan|2017]]===
* There is no doubt that as the United States winds down the Afghan war — the longest in American history, and one that has cost half a trillion dollars and more than 150,000 lives on all sides — regional adversaries are muscling in. &lt;br&gt; [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[Pakistan]] remain the dominant players. But [[Iran]] is also making a bold gambit to shape Afghanistan in its favor.
** {{w|Carlotta Gall}}, ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/iran-afghanistan-taliban.html In Afghanistan, US Exits, and Iran Comes In]'', 5 August 2017, ''[[The New York Times]]''

===[[w:2018 in Afghanistan|2018]]===
* After fighting the longest [[war]] in its [[history]], the [[US]] stands at the brink of defeat in [[Afghanistan]]. How could this be possible? How could the world’s sole superpower have battled continuously for more than 16 years – deploying more than 100,000 troops at the conflict’s peak, sacrificing the lives of nearly 2,300 soldiers, spending more than $1tn (£740bn) on its military operations, lavishing a record $100bn more on “nation-building”, helping fund and train an army of 350,000 Afghan allies – and still not be able to pacify one of the world’s most impoverished nations? 
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters.
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* For over a decade after the fall of the [[Taliban]] regime in December 2001, [[China]] preferred to be a mere spectator of the dramatic events unfolding in [[Afghanistan]]. Unlike other countries, which sent troops to participate in counterinsurgency operations and contributed financial and other support for reconstruction of the war-ravaged country, [[Beijing]] maintained a low profile. &lt;br&gt; China did not send troops to Afghanistan as it was not interested in being a “subordinate partner” of the U.S.-led alliance in that country. Besides, its goals in Afghanistan were “limited,” Zhao Huasheng, a professor at Fudan University in Shanghai pointed out. Unlike the Western powers, China was not interested in “rebuilding Afghanistan politically” or in altering its “political structures, social patterns or ideological orientations.” &lt;br&gt; While China avoided participating in multilateral efforts in Afghanistan in the 2002-12 period, it maintained close ties with the Afghan government. It signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Good Neighborly Relations with Kabul in 2006. Two years later, Chinese companies won a $3 billion contract to extract copper from the Mes Aynak mines in Logar province. &lt;br&gt; It was in the context of the U.S. drawdown of troops from Afghanistan and the possibility of the country descending into chaos that China began stepping up its involvement in Afghan affairs in 2012.
** Sudha Ramachandran, [https://thediplomat.com/2018/06/is-china-bringing-peace-to-afghanistan/ &quot;Is China Bringing Peace to Afghanistan?&quot;] ''The Diplomat'', (06/2018)

===[[w:2020 in Afghanistan|2020]]===
* [[w:United States House of Representatives|Rep.]] [[Liz Cheney]], daughter of [[Dick Cheney|Dick]], is trying to prolong her father's {{w|endless war}} in Afghanistan. You would think that every [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]] would be united in opposing such a [[policy]], right? Well, you would be wrong. It’s not every day that you wake up in your blue state and learn that one of your newly elected Democratic congresspeople is joining with a Cheney to try to prolong the longest war in American history. But that’s what happened this week, when [[w:Politics of Colorado|Colorado]]'s freshman [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] Rep. [[Jason Crow]] teamed up with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] Rep. Liz Cheney to advance legislation that would make it more difficult for any [[President of the United States|president]] to [[w:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan|draw down troop deployments]] in [[Afghanistan]]. I live in the same media market as Crow's district. I can tell you that [[w:Jason Crow#Elections|his 2018 campaign]] was focused on [[w:Jason Crow#Gun control|gun control]]. It was not a campaign promising voters that he would go to Washington to make common cause with Liz Cheney, and help her efforts to glorify and fortify her daddy's policy of endless war. But that’s exactly what his bill does. [...] Cheney initiatives that may seem superficially reasonable when calmly uttered by a Cheney usually have an insane ulterior motive. In this case, that truism applies: The Crow-Cheney legislation may sound like it includes reasonable requests, but they are designed to make the Afghanistan deployment permanent. In practice, nobody can predict with 100 percent certainty what will ensue once a nineteen-year {{w|military occupation}} ends. What we can know is that it’s a bad idea to continue a policy that isn’t working — and there’s plenty of evidence that it isn’t.
** [[David Sirota]], ''[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/07/afghanistan-war-liz-cheney-jason-crow Democrats Are Working With Liz Cheney to Prolong Dick Cheney’s Endless War]'', 3 July 2020, ''[[w:Jacobin (magazine)|Jacobin]]''

* The tragic events of [[9/11]] provided the required justification to wage war on Afghanistan on “humanitarian grounds”, with the full support of World public opinion and the endorsement of the “international community”.  
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

* In the wake of 9/11, the antiwar movement was completely isolated. The trade unions and civil society organizations had swallowed the media lies and government propaganda. They had accepted a war of retribution against Afghanistan, an impoverished country in Central Asia of 30 million people[...]
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

===[[w:2021 in Afghanistan|2021]]===
{{main|2021 Taliban offensive}}
*After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell], October 11, 2021

=== Post-war (2022-) ===

* During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 54-55

* '''Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55

* When I served in Afghanistan, my job- as a counterinsurgency instructor- was to study the insurgency, meaning the Taliban. In short, we taught both Americans and Afghans that they needed to know the terrain, especially the human terrain. Who is our enemy? What motivates them? And how to they leverage and/or exploit the population? From there, we looked at the &quot;root causes&quot; of population grievances that our enemy was experiencing. Finally, our job was to find sustainable solutions that advanced the legitimacy of the Afghan Army, police, and government. Know the human terrain, identify root causes for problems, find sustainable solutions, and legitimize our allies. It sounded great, and I knew how to teach the hell out of it.&lt;br&gt;But, as it turns out, we always missed the mark on all aspects of what we taught. You know who did not miss the mark? The Taliban. They knew exactly who their people were, their root causes were clear, they were nothing if not sustainable, and they had legitimacy we could never manufacture.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55-56

* Ideas like religious freedom, freedom of speech, natural rights, and equal justice are the exception in human history, not the rule. They were gifted to us by previous generations. So, when we attempt to replace core aspects of Afghan paideia with our own over just two decades (a blip in human history), it is doomed to fail. If anything, it only strengthens the Afghan paideia- fortifying their belief in the supremacy of their system.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 56-57

== See also ==
* [[Operation Moshtarak]]
* [[War on Terror]] 
* [[Iraq War]]
* [[2021 Taliban offensive]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
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[[Category:War in Afghanistan (2001–present)]]</text>
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      <text bytes="24804" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2001_War_in_Afghanistan_collage_3.jpg|thumb|The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Delta_force_GIs_disguised_as_Afghan_civilians,_November_2001_C.jpg|thumb| It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]]. ~ Abdul Haq]]
[[File:200229-D-AP390-1529 (49603221753).jpg|thumb|Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]
[[File:1998_Embassy_Bombings_memorial_-_Arlington_National_Cemetery.jpg|thumb|It was not clear how to get at [[al-Qaida]] in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the [[Taliban]]. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:US_Embassy_bombing_memorial_in_Nairobi.jpg|thumb|If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved we would be ready to hand him over to a third country. ~ [[w:Haji Abdul Kabir|Haji Abdul Kabir]]]]
[[File:Afghan_Opium_Production_2005_2007.JPG|thumb|Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters. ~ Alfred W. McCoy]]

The '''[[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|War in Afghanistan (2001-present)]]''' (or the '''US War in Afghanistan''' or the Afghanistan War), code named [[w:Operation Enduring Freedom| Operation Enduring Freedom]] (2001–14) and [[w:Operation Freedom's Sentinel|Operation Freedom's Sentinel ]](2015–present), followed the [[w:United States invasion of Afghanistan|United States invasion of Afghanistan]] of 7 October 2001, when the [[United States of America]] and its allies successfully drove the [[Taliban]] from [[power]] in order to deny [[al-Qaeda]] a [[safe]] base of operations in [[Afghanistan]]. Since the initial objectives were completed, a coalition of over 40 countries (including all [[NATO]] members) formed a [[security]] mission in the country. 

== Quotes ==

===[[w:2001 in Afghanistan|2001]]===
* The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001).  

* Despite efforts by the Taliban to disrupt these critical aid shipments, we will deliver food and seeds, vaccines and medicines by truck, and even by draft animals. Conditions permitting, we will bring help directly to the people of Afghanistan by air drops.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001). 

* If the [[Taliban]] is given evidence that [[Osama bin Laden]] is involved [...] we would be ready to hand him over to a third country.
** {{w|Abdul Kabir}},  as qtd. in Staff and agencies (14 October 2001). [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/oct/14/afghanistan.terrorism5 &quot;Bush rejects Taliban offer to hand Bin Laden over&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (Archived from the original on 25 August 2013. Retrieved 23 October 2018)

* [[America]] has given [[evidence]] to other countries, we do not say anything. If Americans are convinced that they have solid evidence, we are ready for his trial in Afghanistan, and they have to produce that evidence.&quot; 
** {{w|Abdul Salam Zaeef}}, made the offer at a news conference in Islamabad Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (October 7, 2001).

===[[w:2002 in Afghanistan|2002]]===
*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey]]''': So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?	
:'''Pentagon''':Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
:'''Huey''': Is that right?
:'''Pentagon''': Yep. Hey told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
:'''Huey''': Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
:'''Pentagon''': Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers '''really''' satisfies… 	
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (9/20/2002).

===[[w:2004 in Afghanistan|2004]]===
* The report drawn up by the commission's staff said: &quot;From the spring of 1997 to September 2001, the US government tried to persuade the [[Taliban]] to expel [[Osama bin Laden|Bin Laden]] to a country where he could face justice. The efforts employed inducements, warnings and sanctions. All these efforts failed.&quot;  &lt;br&gt; At a meeting of the Bush administration's top [[w:National security|national security]] officials on September 10, a three-phase strategy was agreed. &lt;br&gt; The Taliban would be presented with a final ultimatum to hand over Bin Laden. Failing that, covert military aid would be channeled to anti-Taliban groups. If both those options failed, &quot;the deputies agreed that the United States would seek to overthrow the Taliban regime through more direct action.&quot;
** [[Julian Borger]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004)

* We did not take into account during that period the kind of actions we were prepared to follow after 9/11, tt was not clear how to get at al-Qaida in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the Taliban. [...] President Bush and his entire national security team understood that terrorism had to be among our highest priorities, and it was.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in Julian Borger, [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004).

* A retired army colonel commissioned by the Pentagon to examine the war in Afghanistan concluded the conflict created conditions that have given &quot;[[w:Warlrd|warlordism]], [[banditry]] and [[w:Opium|opium]] production a new lease on life,&quot; ''[[w:The New Yorker|The New Yorker]]'' reported on Sunday.
** Hy Rothstein, ''The New Yorker'', (Sunday, 3 April 2004); as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040405213413/http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/southasia/view/78653/1/.html ''Channel news Asia''] archived from the original on (2004-04-05).

===2007=== 

*Through the midwestern United States, Kansas and the central states, there have been hundreds of tornadoes one after the  other for days, leaving paths of destruction 400 miles wide and killing many people. These are called ''acts of nature'', ''acts of God.'' But they are in this case a result of the [[Karma|Law of Karma]]. The crisis that manifested itself as the SARS infection in China and elsewhere, for example, the epidemics of flu throughout Europe, are the '''direct results of the [[fear]] generated from the crisis conditions set up by the [[War on Terror|US attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq.]] It is not a question of God punishing the aggressor. It is a simple law of the interconnectedness of all [[Atom|atoms]] in the universe.''' What happens here sets up something that will inevitably happen elsewhere by the law of action and reaction. When humanity truly understands this law, the  Law of Karma, not just as an intellectual idea, it will see that every thought, every action, sets into motion a cause or causes. The effects stemming from these causes make our lives for good or ill. The need for [[harmlessness]] in every action in our lives becomes apparent. When we act, we have to know what the result of this action could be. If the action is destructive, it produces destruction in the world. '''If the action is not destructive, if it is creative, if it is harmless, it creates harmlessness, it creates good in the world.'''  p. 11-12
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

===[[w:2010 in Afghanistan|2010]]===
{{See also|Operation Moshtarak}}
* As for [[w:Marja (town)|Marjah]], its mention at all in the same breath as the [[American Revolution]] or the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] is truly grotesque. The little farming communities that {{w|the Pentagon}} PR machine lyingly described as a small city swarming with [[Taliban]] fighters was nothing but a staged and carefully managed battle set, designed to make Americans forget that the US was (and is) bogged down in [[w:Afghanistan Papers|an unwinnable]] [[w:War of aggression|war of conquest]] and [[w:Military occupation|occupation]] [[War in Afghanistan (2001–present)|in Afghanistan]]. The few American soldiers and [[United States Marine Corps|Marines]] who died there died for the sake of White Hours and Pentagon [[w:Propaganda in the United States|propaganda]], not for the sake of defending Americans’ vaunted freedoms. The set has now been torn down, the klieg lights have been turned off, and “Marjah” has reverted to Taliban territory again.
** [[Dave Lindorff]] on [[Barack Obama]]'s [[w:Weekly address of the President of the United States|Weekly Address]] in May 29, 2010. ''[https://www.counterpunch.org/2010/05/31/the-glorification-of-war/ The Glorification of War]'' (May 31, 2010), ''{{w|CounterPunch}}''.

===[[w:2011 in Afghanistan|2011]]===
* It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]].
** [[w:Abdul Haq (Afghan leader)|Abdul Haq]], [https://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2011/11/haq-afghanistan-taliban-kabul &quot;The lost lion of Kabul&quot;], ''The New Statesman'', 2011

===[[w:2015 in Afghanistan|2015]]===
* US troops stationed in Afghanistan came to the realization that some Afghan commanders were sexually abusing local boys and though they often heard the boys screaming, the US Army told them to ignore it, a New York Times report says.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

* Another witness of similar practices was Dan Quinn, a former special forces captain. He witnessed several cases of Afghan militia abusing local children, boys and girls.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

===[[w:2016 in Afghanistan|2016]]===
* We know from long experience in [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan|Afghanistan]] to take territory, hold territory, and govern territory and prevent a reemergence of a terrorist group.
** [[Ash Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose], (February 2016)

* In Afghanistan, the [[w:Rules of engagement|rules of engagement]] sometimes were stricter than [[w:Use of force|use-of-force]] [[rules]] for [[w:Civilian|civilian]] [[police]] in [[America]]. Erica Gaston, a [[human rights]] [[lawyer]] who studied the military's rules of engagement in Afghanistan, said that especially was true in the later years of the war. &lt;br&gt; &quot;There was an emphasis on [[w:Winning hearts and minds|winning hearts and minds]], and focusing more on stabilizing [[communities]] and protecting the civilian population.&quot;
** Erica Gaston as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/12/08/504718239/military-trained-police-may-be-slower-to-shoot-but-that-got-this-vet-fired “Military-Trained Police May Be Less Hasty To Shoot, But That Got This Vet Fired”], by Quil Lawrence and Martin Kaste, ''[[w:Morning Edition|Morning Edition]]'', ''NPR'', (December 8, 2016)

===[[w:2017 in Afghanistan|2017]]===
* There is no doubt that as the United States winds down the Afghan war — the longest in American history, and one that has cost half a trillion dollars and more than 150,000 lives on all sides — regional adversaries are muscling in. &lt;br&gt; [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[Pakistan]] remain the dominant players. But [[Iran]] is also making a bold gambit to shape Afghanistan in its favor.
** {{w|Carlotta Gall}}, ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/iran-afghanistan-taliban.html In Afghanistan, US Exits, and Iran Comes In]'', 5 August 2017, ''[[The New York Times]]''

===[[w:2018 in Afghanistan|2018]]===
* After fighting the longest [[war]] in its [[history]], the [[US]] stands at the brink of defeat in [[Afghanistan]]. How could this be possible? How could the world’s sole superpower have battled continuously for more than 16 years – deploying more than 100,000 troops at the conflict’s peak, sacrificing the lives of nearly 2,300 soldiers, spending more than $1tn (£740bn) on its military operations, lavishing a record $100bn more on “nation-building”, helping fund and train an army of 350,000 Afghan allies – and still not be able to pacify one of the world’s most impoverished nations? 
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters.
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* For over a decade after the fall of the [[Taliban]] regime in December 2001, [[China]] preferred to be a mere spectator of the dramatic events unfolding in [[Afghanistan]]. Unlike other countries, which sent troops to participate in counterinsurgency operations and contributed financial and other support for reconstruction of the war-ravaged country, [[Beijing]] maintained a low profile. &lt;br&gt; China did not send troops to Afghanistan as it was not interested in being a “subordinate partner” of the U.S.-led alliance in that country. Besides, its goals in Afghanistan were “limited,” Zhao Huasheng, a professor at Fudan University in Shanghai pointed out. Unlike the Western powers, China was not interested in “rebuilding Afghanistan politically” or in altering its “political structures, social patterns or ideological orientations.” &lt;br&gt; While China avoided participating in multilateral efforts in Afghanistan in the 2002-12 period, it maintained close ties with the Afghan government. It signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Good Neighborly Relations with Kabul in 2006. Two years later, Chinese companies won a $3 billion contract to extract copper from the Mes Aynak mines in Logar province. &lt;br&gt; It was in the context of the U.S. drawdown of troops from Afghanistan and the possibility of the country descending into chaos that China began stepping up its involvement in Afghan affairs in 2012.
** Sudha Ramachandran, [https://thediplomat.com/2018/06/is-china-bringing-peace-to-afghanistan/ &quot;Is China Bringing Peace to Afghanistan?&quot;] ''The Diplomat'', (06/2018)

===[[w:2020 in Afghanistan|2020]]===
* [[w:United States House of Representatives|Rep.]] [[Liz Cheney]], daughter of [[Dick Cheney|Dick]], is trying to prolong her father's {{w|endless war}} in Afghanistan. You would think that every [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]] would be united in opposing such a [[policy]], right? Well, you would be wrong. It’s not every day that you wake up in your blue state and learn that one of your newly elected Democratic congresspeople is joining with a Cheney to try to prolong the longest war in American history. But that’s what happened this week, when [[w:Politics of Colorado|Colorado]]'s freshman [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] Rep. [[Jason Crow]] teamed up with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] Rep. Liz Cheney to advance legislation that would make it more difficult for any [[President of the United States|president]] to [[w:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan|draw down troop deployments]] in [[Afghanistan]]. I live in the same media market as Crow's district. I can tell you that [[w:Jason Crow#Elections|his 2018 campaign]] was focused on [[w:Jason Crow#Gun control|gun control]]. It was not a campaign promising voters that he would go to Washington to make common cause with Liz Cheney, and help her efforts to glorify and fortify her daddy's policy of endless war. But that’s exactly what his bill does. [...] Cheney initiatives that may seem superficially reasonable when calmly uttered by a Cheney usually have an insane ulterior motive. In this case, that truism applies: The Crow-Cheney legislation may sound like it includes reasonable requests, but they are designed to make the Afghanistan deployment permanent. In practice, nobody can predict with 100 percent certainty what will ensue once a nineteen-year {{w|military occupation}} ends. What we can know is that it’s a bad idea to continue a policy that isn’t working — and there’s plenty of evidence that it isn’t.
** [[David Sirota]], ''[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/07/afghanistan-war-liz-cheney-jason-crow Democrats Are Working With Liz Cheney to Prolong Dick Cheney’s Endless War]'', 3 July 2020, ''[[w:Jacobin (magazine)|Jacobin]]''

* The tragic events of [[9/11]] provided the required justification to wage war on Afghanistan on “humanitarian grounds”, with the full support of World public opinion and the endorsement of the “international community”.  
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

* In the wake of 9/11, the antiwar movement was completely isolated. The trade unions and civil society organizations had swallowed the media lies and government propaganda. They had accepted a war of retribution against Afghanistan, an impoverished country in Central Asia of 30 million people[...]
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

===[[w:2021 in Afghanistan|2021]]===
{{main|2021 Taliban offensive}}
*'''After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.'''
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell], October 11, 2021

=== Post-war (2022-) ===

* During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 54-55

* '''Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55

* When I served in Afghanistan, my job- as a counterinsurgency instructor- was to study the insurgency, meaning the Taliban. In short, we taught both Americans and Afghans that they needed to know the terrain, especially the human terrain. Who is our enemy? What motivates them? And how to they leverage and/or exploit the population? From there, we looked at the &quot;root causes&quot; of population grievances that our enemy was experiencing. Finally, our job was to find sustainable solutions that advanced the legitimacy of the Afghan Army, police, and government. Know the human terrain, identify root causes for problems, find sustainable solutions, and legitimize our allies. It sounded great, and I knew how to teach the hell out of it.&lt;br&gt;But, as it turns out, we always missed the mark on all aspects of what we taught. You know who did not miss the mark? The Taliban. They knew exactly who their people were, their root causes were clear, they were nothing if not sustainable, and they had legitimacy we could never manufacture.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55-56

* Ideas like religious freedom, freedom of speech, natural rights, and equal justice are the exception in human history, not the rule. They were gifted to us by previous generations. So, when we attempt to replace core aspects of Afghan paideia with our own over just two decades (a blip in human history), it is doomed to fail. If anything, it only strengthens the Afghan paideia- fortifying their belief in the supremacy of their system.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 56-57

== See also ==
* [[Operation Moshtarak]]
* [[War on Terror]] 
* [[Iraq War]]
* [[2021 Taliban offensive]]

==External links==
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      <text bytes="25129" xml:space="preserve">[[File:2001_War_in_Afghanistan_collage_3.jpg|thumb|The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]
[[File:Delta_force_GIs_disguised_as_Afghan_civilians,_November_2001_C.jpg|thumb| It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]]. ~ Abdul Haq]]

The '''[[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|War in Afghanistan (2001-present)]]''' (or the '''US War in Afghanistan''' or the Afghanistan War), code named [[w:Operation Enduring Freedom| Operation Enduring Freedom]] (2001–14) and [[w:Operation Freedom's Sentinel|Operation Freedom's Sentinel ]](2015–present), followed the [[w:United States invasion of Afghanistan|United States invasion of Afghanistan]] of 7 October 2001, when the [[United States of America]] and its allies successfully drove the [[Taliban]] from [[power]] in order to deny [[al-Qaeda]] a [[safe]] base of operations in [[Afghanistan]]. Since the initial objectives were completed, a coalition of over 40 countries (including all [[NATO]] members) formed a [[security]] mission in the country. 

== Quotes ==

[[File:200229-D-AP390-1529 (49603221753).jpg|thumb|Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse. ~ [[Pete Hegseth]]]]
[[File:1998_Embassy_Bombings_memorial_-_Arlington_National_Cemetery.jpg|thumb|It was not clear how to get at [[al-Qaida]] in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the [[Taliban]]. ~ [[Colin Powell]]]]
[[File:US_Embassy_bombing_memorial_in_Nairobi.jpg|thumb|If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved we would be ready to hand him over to a third country. ~ [[w:Haji Abdul Kabir|Haji Abdul Kabir]]]]
[[File:Afghan_Opium_Production_2005_2007.JPG|thumb|Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters. ~ Alfred W. McCoy]]
[[File:Paratrooper Departure.jpg|thumb|After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world. ~ [[Angela Merkel]]]]

===[[w:2001 in Afghanistan|2001]]===
* The [[Taliban]] has been given the opportunity to surrender all the terrorists in Afghanistan and to close down their camps and operations. Full warning has been given, and time is running out.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001).  

* Despite efforts by the Taliban to disrupt these critical aid shipments, we will deliver food and seeds, vaccines and medicines by truck, and even by draft animals. Conditions permitting, we will bring help directly to the people of Afghanistan by air drops.
** [[George W. Bush]] as qtd. in Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (10/07/2001). 

* If the [[Taliban]] is given evidence that [[Osama bin Laden]] is involved [...] we would be ready to hand him over to a third country.
** {{w|Abdul Kabir}},  as qtd. in Staff and agencies (14 October 2001). [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/oct/14/afghanistan.terrorism5 &quot;Bush rejects Taliban offer to hand Bin Laden over&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (Archived from the original on 25 August 2013. Retrieved 23 October 2018)

* [[America]] has given [[evidence]] to other countries, we do not say anything. If Americans are convinced that they have solid evidence, we are ready for his trial in Afghanistan, and they have to produce that evidence.&quot; 
** {{w|Abdul Salam Zaeef}}, made the offer at a news conference in Islamabad Nic Robertson and Kelly Wallace, [http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/10/07/ret.us.taliban/ &quot;CNN.com – US rejects Taliban offer to try bin Laden&quot;], ''edition.cnn.com'', (October 7, 2001).

===[[w:2002 in Afghanistan|2002]]===
*'''[[w:Huey Freeman|Huey]]''': So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?	
:'''Pentagon''':Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
:'''Huey''': Is that right?
:'''Pentagon''': Yep. Hey told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
:'''Huey''': Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
:'''Pentagon''': Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers '''really''' satisfies… 	
:* [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]], ''[[The Boondocks (comic strip)|The Boondocks]]'', (9/20/2002).

===[[w:2004 in Afghanistan|2004]]===
* The report drawn up by the commission's staff said: &quot;From the spring of 1997 to September 2001, the US government tried to persuade the [[Taliban]] to expel [[Osama bin Laden|Bin Laden]] to a country where he could face justice. The efforts employed inducements, warnings and sanctions. All these efforts failed.&quot;  &lt;br&gt; At a meeting of the Bush administration's top [[w:National security|national security]] officials on September 10, a three-phase strategy was agreed. &lt;br&gt; The Taliban would be presented with a final ultimatum to hand over Bin Laden. Failing that, covert military aid would be channeled to anti-Taliban groups. If both those options failed, &quot;the deputies agreed that the United States would seek to overthrow the Taliban regime through more direct action.&quot;
** [[Julian Borger]], [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004)

* We did not take into account during that period the kind of actions we were prepared to follow after 9/11, tt was not clear how to get at al-Qaida in a way to destroy al-Qaida, and we were not prepared, before 9/11, to take down the Taliban. [...] President Bush and his entire national security team understood that terrorism had to be among our highest priorities, and it was.
** [[Colin Powell]], as quoted in Julian Borger, [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/mar/24/september11.usa2 &quot;Bush team 'agreed plan to attack the Taliban the day before September 11'&quot;], ''The Guardian'', London, (24 March 2004).

* A retired army colonel commissioned by the Pentagon to examine the war in Afghanistan concluded the conflict created conditions that have given &quot;[[w:Warlrd|warlordism]], [[banditry]] and [[w:Opium|opium]] production a new lease on life,&quot; ''[[w:The New Yorker|The New Yorker]]'' reported on Sunday.
** Hy Rothstein, ''The New Yorker'', (Sunday, 3 April 2004); as quoted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20040405213413/http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/southasia/view/78653/1/.html ''Channel news Asia''] archived from the original on (2004-04-05).

===2007=== 

*Through the midwestern United States, Kansas and the central states, there have been hundreds of tornadoes one after the  other for days, leaving paths of destruction 400 miles wide and killing many people. These are called ''acts of nature'', ''acts of God.'' But they are in this case a result of the [[Karma|Law of Karma]]. The crisis that manifested itself as the SARS infection in China and elsewhere, for example, the epidemics of flu throughout Europe, are the '''direct results of the [[fear]] generated from the crisis conditions set up by the [[War on Terror|US attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq.]] It is not a question of God punishing the aggressor. It is a simple law of the interconnectedness of all [[Atom|atoms]] in the universe.''' What happens here sets up something that will inevitably happen elsewhere by the law of action and reaction. When humanity truly understands this law, the  Law of Karma, not just as an intellectual idea, it will see that every thought, every action, sets into motion a cause or causes. The effects stemming from these causes make our lives for good or ill. The need for [[harmlessness]] in every action in our lives becomes apparent. When we act, we have to know what the result of this action could be. If the action is destructive, it produces destruction in the world. '''If the action is not destructive, if it is creative, if it is harmless, it creates harmlessness, it creates good in the world.'''  p. 11-12
**[[Benjamin Creme]], [[The World Teacher for All Humanity|''The World Teacher for All Humanity'']],  2007

===[[w:2010 in Afghanistan|2010]]===
{{See also|Operation Moshtarak}}
* As for [[w:Marja (town)|Marjah]], its mention at all in the same breath as the [[American Revolution]] or the [[American Civil War|Civil War]] is truly grotesque. The little farming communities that {{w|the Pentagon}} PR machine lyingly described as a small city swarming with [[Taliban]] fighters was nothing but a staged and carefully managed battle set, designed to make Americans forget that the US was (and is) bogged down in [[w:Afghanistan Papers|an unwinnable]] [[w:War of aggression|war of conquest]] and [[w:Military occupation|occupation]] [[War in Afghanistan (2001–present)|in Afghanistan]]. The few American soldiers and [[United States Marine Corps|Marines]] who died there died for the sake of White Hours and Pentagon [[w:Propaganda in the United States|propaganda]], not for the sake of defending Americans’ vaunted freedoms. The set has now been torn down, the klieg lights have been turned off, and “Marjah” has reverted to Taliban territory again.
** [[Dave Lindorff]] on [[Barack Obama]]'s [[w:Weekly address of the President of the United States|Weekly Address]] in May 29, 2010. ''[https://www.counterpunch.org/2010/05/31/the-glorification-of-war/ The Glorification of War]'' (May 31, 2010), ''{{w|CounterPunch}}''.

===[[w:2011 in Afghanistan|2011]]===
* It's crazy that you have this today … [[Pashtuns]], [[Tajiks]], [[Uzbeks]], [[Hazara]] … They were all ready to buy in to the process … to work under the [[king]]'s banner for an [[ethnically]] balanced [[Afghanistan]].
** [[w:Abdul Haq (Afghan leader)|Abdul Haq]], [https://www.newstatesman.com/international-politics/2011/11/haq-afghanistan-taliban-kabul &quot;The lost lion of Kabul&quot;], ''The New Statesman'', 2011

===[[w:2015 in Afghanistan|2015]]===
* US troops stationed in Afghanistan came to the realization that some Afghan commanders were sexually abusing local boys and though they often heard the boys screaming, the US Army told them to ignore it, a New York Times report says.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

* Another witness of similar practices was Dan Quinn, a former special forces captain. He witnessed several cases of Afghan militia abusing local children, boys and girls.
** [https://www.rt.com/news/316062-afghan-soldiers-abuse-children/ 'We heard them screaming': US troops told to ignore Afghan soldiers abusing boys – report], ''[[w:Russia Today (network)|RT]]'', 21 September 2015

===[[w:2016 in Afghanistan|2016]]===
* We know from long experience in [[Iraq]] and [[Afghanistan|Afghanistan]] to take territory, hold territory, and govern territory and prevent a reemergence of a terrorist group.
** [[Ash Carter]], [http://www.charlierose.com/ interview with Charlie Rose], (February 2016)

* In Afghanistan, the [[w:Rules of engagement|rules of engagement]] sometimes were stricter than [[w:Use of force|use-of-force]] [[rules]] for [[w:Civilian|civilian]] [[police]] in [[America]]. Erica Gaston, a [[human rights]] [[lawyer]] who studied the military's rules of engagement in Afghanistan, said that especially was true in the later years of the war. &lt;br&gt; &quot;There was an emphasis on [[w:Winning hearts and minds|winning hearts and minds]], and focusing more on stabilizing [[communities]] and protecting the civilian population.&quot;
** Erica Gaston as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/12/08/504718239/military-trained-police-may-be-slower-to-shoot-but-that-got-this-vet-fired “Military-Trained Police May Be Less Hasty To Shoot, But That Got This Vet Fired”], by Quil Lawrence and Martin Kaste, ''[[w:Morning Edition|Morning Edition]]'', ''NPR'', (December 8, 2016)

===[[w:2017 in Afghanistan|2017]]===
* There is no doubt that as the United States winds down the Afghan war — the longest in American history, and one that has cost half a trillion dollars and more than 150,000 lives on all sides — regional adversaries are muscling in. &lt;br&gt; [[Saudi Arabia]] and [[Pakistan]] remain the dominant players. But [[Iran]] is also making a bold gambit to shape Afghanistan in its favor.
** {{w|Carlotta Gall}}, ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/iran-afghanistan-taliban.html In Afghanistan, US Exits, and Iran Comes In]'', 5 August 2017, ''[[The New York Times]]''

===[[w:2018 in Afghanistan|2018]]===
* After fighting the longest [[war]] in its [[history]], the [[US]] stands at the brink of defeat in [[Afghanistan]]. How could this be possible? How could the world’s sole superpower have battled continuously for more than 16 years – deploying more than 100,000 troops at the conflict’s peak, sacrificing the lives of nearly 2,300 soldiers, spending more than $1tn (£740bn) on its military operations, lavishing a record $100bn more on “nation-building”, helping fund and train an army of 350,000 Afghan allies – and still not be able to pacify one of the world’s most impoverished nations? 
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* Despite almost continuous combat since the invasion of October 2001, pacification efforts have failed to curtail the [[Taliban]] insurgency, largely because the [[US]] simply could not control the swelling surplus from the country’s [[heroin]] trade. Its opium production surged from around 180 tonnes in 2001 to more than 3,000 tonnes a year after the invasion, and to more than 8,000 by 2007. Every [[spring]], the [[opium]] [[harvest]] fills the Taliban’s coffers once again, funding wages for a new crop of guerrilla fighters.
** {{w|Alfred W. McCoy}}, [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/09/how-the-heroin-trade-explains-the-us-uk-failure-in-afghanistan “How the heroin trade explains the US-UK failure in Afghanistan”], ''The Guardian'', (9 Jan 2018). 

* For over a decade after the fall of the [[Taliban]] regime in December 2001, [[China]] preferred to be a mere spectator of the dramatic events unfolding in [[Afghanistan]]. Unlike other countries, which sent troops to participate in counterinsurgency operations and contributed financial and other support for reconstruction of the war-ravaged country, [[Beijing]] maintained a low profile. &lt;br&gt; China did not send troops to Afghanistan as it was not interested in being a “subordinate partner” of the U.S.-led alliance in that country. Besides, its goals in Afghanistan were “limited,” Zhao Huasheng, a professor at Fudan University in Shanghai pointed out. Unlike the Western powers, China was not interested in “rebuilding Afghanistan politically” or in altering its “political structures, social patterns or ideological orientations.” &lt;br&gt; While China avoided participating in multilateral efforts in Afghanistan in the 2002-12 period, it maintained close ties with the Afghan government. It signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Good Neighborly Relations with Kabul in 2006. Two years later, Chinese companies won a $3 billion contract to extract copper from the Mes Aynak mines in Logar province. &lt;br&gt; It was in the context of the U.S. drawdown of troops from Afghanistan and the possibility of the country descending into chaos that China began stepping up its involvement in Afghan affairs in 2012.
** Sudha Ramachandran, [https://thediplomat.com/2018/06/is-china-bringing-peace-to-afghanistan/ &quot;Is China Bringing Peace to Afghanistan?&quot;] ''The Diplomat'', (06/2018)

===[[w:2020 in Afghanistan|2020]]===
* [[w:United States House of Representatives|Rep.]] [[Liz Cheney]], daughter of [[Dick Cheney|Dick]], is trying to prolong her father's {{w|endless war}} in Afghanistan. You would think that every [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrat]] would be united in opposing such a [[policy]], right? Well, you would be wrong. It’s not every day that you wake up in your blue state and learn that one of your newly elected Democratic congresspeople is joining with a Cheney to try to prolong the longest war in American history. But that’s what happened this week, when [[w:Politics of Colorado|Colorado]]'s freshman [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] Rep. [[Jason Crow]] teamed up with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] Rep. Liz Cheney to advance legislation that would make it more difficult for any [[President of the United States|president]] to [[w:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan|draw down troop deployments]] in [[Afghanistan]]. I live in the same media market as Crow's district. I can tell you that [[w:Jason Crow#Elections|his 2018 campaign]] was focused on [[w:Jason Crow#Gun control|gun control]]. It was not a campaign promising voters that he would go to Washington to make common cause with Liz Cheney, and help her efforts to glorify and fortify her daddy's policy of endless war. But that’s exactly what his bill does. [...] Cheney initiatives that may seem superficially reasonable when calmly uttered by a Cheney usually have an insane ulterior motive. In this case, that truism applies: The Crow-Cheney legislation may sound like it includes reasonable requests, but they are designed to make the Afghanistan deployment permanent. In practice, nobody can predict with 100 percent certainty what will ensue once a nineteen-year {{w|military occupation}} ends. What we can know is that it’s a bad idea to continue a policy that isn’t working — and there’s plenty of evidence that it isn’t.
** [[David Sirota]], ''[https://www.jacobinmag.com/2020/07/afghanistan-war-liz-cheney-jason-crow Democrats Are Working With Liz Cheney to Prolong Dick Cheney’s Endless War]'', 3 July 2020, ''[[w:Jacobin (magazine)|Jacobin]]''

* The tragic events of [[9/11]] provided the required justification to wage war on Afghanistan on “humanitarian grounds”, with the full support of World public opinion and the endorsement of the “international community”.  
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

* In the wake of 9/11, the antiwar movement was completely isolated. The trade unions and civil society organizations had swallowed the media lies and government propaganda. They had accepted a war of retribution against Afghanistan, an impoverished country in Central Asia of 30 million people[...]
** [[Michel Chossudovsky]], [https://www.globalresearch.ca/the-global-war-on-terrorism-is-fake-al-qaeda-is-made-in-america/5667249  September 11, 2001: “The Global War on Terrorism” is Fake. Al Qaeda is “Made in America”], ''Global Research'', August 30, 2020

===[[w:2021 in Afghanistan|2021]]===
{{main|2021 Taliban offensive}}
*'''After [[United States|US]] troops have withdrawn from Afghanistan, [[European Union|Europe]] must define its own security interests more clearly. It has been seen that America is no longer unconditionally ready to take on a leadership role anywhere in the world.'''
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted by [https://twitter.com/MDRAktuell/status/1447492669681373185 MDR Aktuell], October 11, 2021

=== Post-war (2022-) ===

* During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 54-55

* '''Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55

* When I served in Afghanistan, my job- as a counterinsurgency instructor- was to study the insurgency, meaning the Taliban. In short, we taught both Americans and Afghans that they needed to know the terrain, especially the human terrain. Who is our enemy? What motivates them? And how to they leverage and/or exploit the population? From there, we looked at the &quot;root causes&quot; of population grievances that our enemy was experiencing. Finally, our job was to find sustainable solutions that advanced the legitimacy of the Afghan Army, police, and government. Know the human terrain, identify root causes for problems, find sustainable solutions, and legitimize our allies. It sounded great, and I knew how to teach the hell out of it.&lt;br&gt;But, as it turns out, we always missed the mark on all aspects of what we taught. You know who did not miss the mark? The Taliban. They knew exactly who their people were, their root causes were clear, they were nothing if not sustainable, and they had legitimacy we could never manufacture.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 55-56

* Ideas like religious freedom, freedom of speech, natural rights, and equal justice are the exception in human history, not the rule. They were gifted to us by previous generations. So, when we attempt to replace core aspects of Afghan paideia with our own over just two decades (a blip in human history), it is doomed to fail. If anything, it only strengthens the Afghan paideia- fortifying their belief in the supremacy of their system.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 56-57

== See also ==
* [[Operation Moshtarak]]
* [[War on Terror]] 
* [[Iraq War]]
* [[2021 Taliban offensive]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
[[Category:War in Afghanistan (2001–present)]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe: The Movie</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>221572</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154587</id>
      <parentid>3153265</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T15:25:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="12277" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Steven Universe: The Movie}}'''''  is a 2019 animated musical produced by [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]. The events of the film follow [[Steven Universe (season 5)|Season 5]] of [[Steven Universe]].

== Dialogue ==
:'''White Diamond''': ''[narrating]'' Once upon a time, the Gem Homeworld was ruled by Diamonds -- White, Yellow, Blue, and the littlest Diamond, Pink. While the other Diamonds conquered many worlds across the galaxy, Pink had only one -- the planet Earth. One day, Pink fled the comforts of Homeworld. On Earth, she made a new home, new friends, and finally, new life, giving up her form to bequeath her gem to her half-human son. Without Pink, Gemkind entered an era of despair. But, when Steven Universe learned of his heritage, he reunited with his fellow Diamonds and championed a new era of peace and freedom across the furthest reaches of space. ''[shuts book]'' And now, dear Gems everywhere, I'm pleased to announce that Steven is finally ready to take his rightful place on Pink Diamond's throne!
:''[Pan down to Steven, now 16 years old, with the spotlight shining on him]''
:'''Steven''': How's it going, everybody? I know you all might be thinking of me as the new Pink Diamond, but you don't have to put me on a throne. I already have a rightful place, and it's on Earth. 
:'''Blue Diamond''': Huh?
:'''White Diamond''': What?
:'''Steven''': It's a beach house, where I live with my friends, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. As much as I've loved dismantling the empire and saving all your planets, I can't wait to get home and spend some quality time with my friends.
:'''White Diamond''': Cut the feed.
:'''Yellow Pearl''': Your time is up anyway.
:'''Steven''': I think that went well.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': I'm so excited to meet you!
:'''Steven''': You're not mad?
:'''Spinel''': Mad? Why would I be mad at my best friend?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Peridot''': She rode in on that?!
:'''Steven''': Yeah. She said my &quot;human half&quot; wouldn't stand a chance against her Injector.
:'''Lapis''': What does that mean?
:'''Peridot''': Why don't we just ask her?
:'''Steven''': Well, here's the thing- ''[Spinel creeps up from behind him and pokes at his shoulders]'' Hmm? What? Where'd she- ''[Spinel pops up from behind him and he gets startled]'' Aah!
:'''Spinel''': SURPRISE!
:'''Steven''': Here she is... My new best friend, Spinel.
:'''Spinel''': ''[bows]'' A pleasure to meet you all.
:'''Bismuth''': I thought you said she was ''just'' trying to kill you.
:'''Lapis''': Wow. Quick turnaround.
:'''Peridot''': No kidding. It took me months to stop trying to kill Steven.
:'''Bismuth''': I say it took me a day- day and a half?
:'''Lapis''': I'm still on the fence.
:''[The three laugh]''
:'''Peridot''': Alright, let's see this thing she hit you with.
:'''Steven''': Uh, right. ''[pulls out the deactivated scythe and hands it to Peridot]''
:'''Peridot''': Whoa. Was there, like, uh, a laser or-
:'''Bismuth''': ''[snatches the weapon from Peridot's hands]'' Be careful with that! It's a Rejuvenator. Homeworld used to use these things on Gems that started steppin' out of line. One hit with this… ''[reactivates the Rejuvenator and sadly looks at Ruby and Sapphire]'' you're back to how they made you.
:'''Ruby''': What are you lookin' at?
:'''Peridot''': Oh my stars, I touched it! I could have lost all my character development! Wait, how did you survive being hit by that thing, Steven?
:'''Steven''': I-I think I didn't. My human half kept me from poofing, but-but my Gem half, it took the hit! She sent me back, it's like I'm a kid again! I can barely control my powers! How do we reverse this? Oh, no. Do I need to get the Diamonds?
:'''Lapis''': You're the one with healing powers. If anyone can fix this, it's you.
:'''Steven''': I can't believe this. For the first time in years, everyone's in danger. Everybody needs me, and I'm useless! Bismuth, what do we do?
:'''Bismuth''': I'm sorry, Steven. ''[sighs]'' I don't know.
:'''Steven''': ''[turns to Ruby and Sapphire]'' Garnet would know what to do. Garnet always knows what to do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': What's the damage?
:'''Peridot''': Amethyst, get away from me. I can't stand to see you all vacant and bereft of personality.
:'''Amethyst''': Yo, I'm back, you dip.
:'''Peridot''': Oh! Well, you're just in time for the end of the world! This is no ordinary injector. Whatever it's leaking into the ground is toxic. Let's get a scan going and see what we're dealing with. ''[bubbles a soil sample Bismuth shoveled and places it in a microwave, and an analysis paper prints out]'' Just as I thought. ''[holds out her tablet and snaps a photo of the injector, translating it into a schematic of its mechanisms]'' Bio-poison. Pure and uncut. As of this moment, the ampoule has drained 15.4% of its contents, meaning the poison is releasing at a destruction rate of 5 cubic meters per hour, giving us, hmmm… 41 hours until the destruction of all organic life on Earth.
:'''Steven''': ''All'' organic life?!
:'''Peridot''': Yeah, like the animals, the plants, the insects. You know…people.
:'''Steven''': Oh, no. ''This'' is what Spinel meant. &quot;Your human half won't stand a chance against my injector.&quot; She… she brought this thing here to '''''kill''''' me, and now -- now it's gonna kill everything else on Earth, too?! I've got to do something.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': Steven, are you okay?
:'''Steven''': D-Don't worry about me. It's Spinel. We need her to remember how to stop her injector. Pearl, what do you know about her?
:'''Pearl''': Spinel? She was Pink Diamond's little playmate. They used to spend ages together in Pink's garden…
:'''Steven''': Garden?
:'''Pearl''': That's where they used to play.
:'''Amethyst''': So, what's her problem with us?
:'''Pearl''': I don't know. I haven't seen her in 6,000 years. Something must have happened to her since then.
:'''Steven''': Then that's what I need to find out.
:'''Greg''': Whoa, kiddo, are you sure you don't need a break?
:'''Amethyst''': It looks like that fusion took everything out of you.
:'''Steven''': I've gotta do what I can with the little I have left. I'm going after Spinel.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Spinel, come on. We can talk this out.
:'''Spinel''': I don't wanna play anymore.
:'''Steven''': Spinel, this ISN'T A '''GAME!''' ''[Spinel furiously punches him in the cheek]'' Huh?
:'''Spinel''': ''[rapidly swings her fist and punches him again in the face, causing his nose to bleed, sending him back to the edge of her injector, and grabs him by the arm, holding him up]'' You know, I came here to take my anger out on a bunch of strangers, but now that I know you, I wanna '''''kill you even more.''''' ''[one by one, releases her fingers, making Steven slip]''
:'''Steven''': ''[growls]'' I don't get it!
:'''Spinel''': Huh?
:'''Steven''': Why aren't my powers back? Aren't I reliving every horrible thing that's ever happened to me? A gem I barely know is trying to kill me. I'm paying for stuff my mom did that had nothing to do with me. ''[starts to sob]'' I'm struggling with my powers, the world's about to end! What piece could I be missing?! This is the story of my life!
:'''Spinel''': ''[laughs]'' Wow! I knew I was gonna set you back, but ''this'' is how you started? The legend, Steven Universe? ''[laughs]'' You gotta be kidding me. How did a powerless loser like you become savior of the galaxy?!
:'''Steven''': I changed. That's the final piece. All those struggles, I learned from them, and I grew. Oh my gosh. It's not just my gem powers I've forgotten. All this happily ever after stuff has made me forget the first power I ever had -- the power to change!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': JUST CAN IT, WON'T YA?! You can't just make anything better by singing some STUPID SONG! All that stuff's easy for you to say. When you change, you change for the better. When I change, I change for the worse! ''[lunges at Steven, as he easily defends her blows with his shield]'' I used to be just not good enough! ''Just not'' '''good enough''' for Pink, but now -- '''now...''' &lt;big&gt;'''I'M NOT GOOD AT ALL!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[grows her fists to ridiculous sizes, slams them down at Steven's shield, further cracking the injector's surface; Noticing her collapse to her knees and wind down, Steven simply listens to her final breakdown]'' (''laughs and cries'') That's funny, r-right? A-At least you found me entertaining. You actually liked me, didn't you? What am I doing? Why do I wanna hurt you so bad? I'm supposed to be a friend. I just wanna be a friend.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Diamonds arrive to Earth in their ship]''
:'''Blue Diamond''': Knock, knock, Steven.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': It's us.
:'''White Diamond''': The Diamonds? Are we interrupting something?
:'''Steven''': Uh, yeah. ''[Spinel hides as the 3 Diamonds descend from the ship]'' Yellow, Blue, White, what are y'all doing here?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Well, Steven, we were all talking and -- ''[sniffs]'' I'm sorry, but what is that smell?
:'''Steven''': I don't smell anything.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ugh. that's 'cause you ''live'' here.
:'''Blue Diamond''': Anyway, we were talking, and we decided --
:'''White Diamond''': This is taking too long! Steven! We've come to Earth to live with ''[points her massive finger at Steven]'' ''you''!
:'''Steven''': What?! My house isn't big enough for all of us.
:'''White Diamond''': Oh, well, I'm sure we could make do with, um... ''[looks out at Beach City's ruined state: land split open, houses ruined, and injector debris scattered]'' Has your planet always been this... ''[waves her arm]'' ''destroyed''?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Not that we're judging.
:'''White Diamond''': Goodness, no, because judging anything based on appearance is wrong!

== Songs ==
==== The Tale of Steven ====
:'''White Diamond''': Steven
:Everyone believes in…
:'''Yellow and Blue Diamond''': Everyone believes in
:'''White, Yellow, and Blue Diamond''': Steven,
:'''White Diamond''': All across the universe
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Ever compassionate,
:'''Blue Diamond''': Can you imagine it?
:'''White Diamond''': Even with us at our worst?
:'''Blue Diamond''': Hybrid son of a Diamond,
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Human son of a Rose,
:'''White, Yellow, and Blue Diamond''': What a revelation,
:He's a revolution,
:A Gem that loves and grows
:'''White Diamond''': Steven,
:Have you heard the tale of
:'''Yellow and Blue Diamond''': Have you heard the tale of
:'''White, Yellow, and Blue Diamond''': Steven?
:Always putting others first,
:Can you imagine it?
:Ever compassionate,
:Steven Universe

==== Happily Ever After ====
:'''Steven Universe''': Here we are in the future
:Here we are in the future and it's bright
:Nothing to fear
:No one to fight
:I can't believe we've come so far
:Happily ever after, here we are

==== Who We Are ====
:'''Steven''': Here we are in the future
:Here we are in the future and it's wrong
:Just a second ago, we were singing this song
:And now, they're gone, because of her
:Happily ever after, there we were

==== Finale ====
:'''Steven''': I'll be ready every day
:For as long as I can say
:Here I am in the future with my friends
:(I can make a change)
:That's why
:Happily ever after never ends

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2019 films]]
[[Category:2010s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated drama films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American animated TV films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network films]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Steven Universe Future</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>222076</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154590</id>
      <parentid>3152401</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T15:40:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Guidance */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="50242" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Steven Universe Future|Steven Universe Future]]''''' (2019–2020) is an animated limited series produced by [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] as an epilogue for [[Steven Universe (season 5)|Season 5]] of ''[[Steven Universe]]'' and ''[[Steven Universe: The Movie]]''.

==Episodes==
===''Little Homeschool''===
:'''Steven''': Life is a little different these days. The Diamonds have ended their reign of terror. The intergalactic war is over, and Earth is officially an independent planet. We're all safe to explore our dreams. Lars opened up his own pastry shop, and it's got a real cute space gimmick goin' on. Sadie's been touring with The Suspects, promoting their new album, and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep. She's two years away from applying, but she says it doesn't hurt to start early. And speaking of higher education, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and I have been cooking up a dream of our own!
:'''Cherry Quartz''': I have no idea who you're talking about.
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckling]'' Don't worry about it. You'll learn all that, and more, right here at Little Homeschool. ''[gives Cherry Quartz a tour around]'' Here at Little Homeschool, you have a chance to rediscover yourself and learn to live on Earth if you like. You can forge a new identity. Grow your own ideas. And even find your inner Morp!
:'''Cherry Quartz''': Wait, what's a &quot;Morp&quot;?
:'''Steven''': That's ''exactly'' the kind of question we love to hear!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You know, half those Gems are soldiers who fought by your side before they were corrupted and turned into monsters. They're lost and confused and still a little messed up, but they're getting the help they need.
:'''Jasper''': So? Who cares?
:'''Steven''': ''[angrily]'' I do! And if I didn't care, you'd still be a monster too!
:'''Jasper''': And what? Now I owe you?
:'''Steven''': No!
:'''Jasper''': You think because you did something I never asked for, I'm going to ''obey'' you?
:'''Steven''': No! That's not--
:'''Jasper''': Like all the other Gems you ''use.''
:'''Steven''': ''[frustrated]'' AGGGHHH! I only came here because I felt bad for you, but all of this is your own fault! All the other Gems were corrupted by the Diamonds, but-- but you corrupted yourself just to win a fight! Which you ''LOST!'' To ''ME!'' No one's making you stay here all alone in the middle of nowhere, ready to fight a war that's been over for years! Are you just gonna sit here for centuries waiting for someone to give you a purpose?! ''Because I'm trying to give you one!''
:'''Jasper''': Listen, weakling! You might have Pink Diamond's gem, but you are ''not'' my Diamond, and I am ''not'' going to take orders from some weak, sappy, useless piece of dirt! If you think you're hard enough to tell me what to do, then fight me and prove it.
:'''Steven''': Fine!
:'''Jasper''': ''[suddenly smiles eagerly]'' Really? Huh, well then! Why don't you throw the first punch? ''[beckons tauntingly, and Steven punches her, pushing her back a few feet]'' Ooohh...! ''[laughs aggressively and charges back at him]''
:'''Steven''': I... guess we're doing this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[During his fight with Jasper, Steven bubbles a nest of baby birds to protect them]''
:'''Jasper''': Stop trying to help those tiny flapping Earthlings, and ''FIGHT ME!'' 
:'''Steven''': I'll never stop trying to help them, or you!
:'''Jasper''': ''[kicking his shield away and pinning him down]'' I don't need your help! ''You're'' the one that needs help! You think you've beaten me, but you've never beaten me on your own! You've always been a fusion! You've always had your friends! Because you're nothing without them! You think everyone needs help!
:'''Steven''': ''[tearing up]'' I-- I just--  
:'''Jasper''': But ''it's only you. No one'' is as '''''pitiful''''' as '''''you!'''''
:''[Shaken and angry, Steven starts to glow pink and pushes Jasper back with a sudden burst of strength, much to her surprise]''
:'''Steven''': ''[looking at himself]'' Whoa... what? ''[Jasper grins, and Steven angrily summons a bubble glove and charges at her with it]'' I'M... ''NOT''... PITIFUL! ''[sends her flying back through several trees]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[chuckles]'' Ha. Not bad. ''[continues to fight Steven, who catches her in the middle of a spin-dash]'' Nice catch.
:'''Steven''': You should see my ''THROW!'' ''[tosses her up into the air, where she laughs as he hits her several more times]'' STOP LAUGHING! ''[sends her slamming back down into the ground, then gasps in shock and returns to normal]'' Jasper...
:'''Jasper''': ''[gets up and shakes herself off, impressed]'' Huh. I didn't think you had it in you.  
:'''Steven''': I don't... I don't know what that was. I'm sorry.  
:'''Jasper''': ''[rolling her eyes]'' Ugh! Don't apologize.  
:'''Steven''': I... think I had you all wrong. Maybe you don't have something to learn from me. Maybe I have something to learn from you. ''[Jasper raises an eyebrow]'' Would you ever be interested in teaching?  
:'''Jasper''': ''[scoffs]'' Tssh! At your crummy little school?
:'''Steven''': No, just me. You brought something out of me I didn't know I had.  
:'''Jasper''': ''[walks up to Steven, placing a hand on his shoulder]'' Consider that fight back there your first and ''only'' lesson. ''[begins walking off]''  
:'''Steven''': Well... can I come back to see you sometime?  
:'''Jasper''': Do what you want.

===''Guidance''===
:'''Steven''': I didn't know Bixbite wanted a career in the culinary arts.
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah, we talked a lot about her interests and experiences. Then, I spoke to Kofi and set her up here.
:'''Steven''': This was your idea?
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah, and she's just the beginning. I wanted to do something big for the school, so I've been pairing Gems up with human jobs. The results have been amazing! I call it: the Gem-Human Excellence Mentorship, or G-H-E-M.
:'''Steven''': Oh, I get it, like GEM.
:'''Amethyst''': No, it's G''H''EM. There's an &quot;H&quot;.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Hmm, I don't know about this.
:'''Amethyst''': About what?
:'''Steven''': Ice Gems doing ice stuff, pilot Gems doing pilot stuff, guard Gems doing guard stuff. Isn't this exactly what they were doing on Homeworld?
:'''Amethyst''': ''[chuckles]'' No.
:'''Ruby Bodyguard #1''': It's ''just'' like we used to do on Homeworld!
:'''Ruby Bodyguard #2''': Thanks, Amethyst!
:'''Amethyst''': These are the jobs they wanted.
:'''Steven''': Well, sure, they ''think'' they want to do this stuff. But, it's up to us to get them out of their comfort zones.
:'''Amethyst''': I dunno, man. Comfortable can be good too.
:'''Steven''': Bear with me for a sec. ''[to Larimar and Snowflake Obsidian]'' Hey guys, I was wondering what you two did on Homeworld.
:'''Snowflake Obsidian''': I dug ice trenches for their armies.
:'''Larimar''': I made ice sculptures for the Diamonds.
:'''Steven''': So ice is kind of like your default mode?
:'''Snowflake Obsidian''': ''[exchanges looks with Larimar]'' Yes.
:'''Steven''': Did you ever think of trying something else?
:'''Snowflake Obsidian''': Like filling ice trenches?
:'''Steven''': ''[as he sees Nephrite flying overhead]'' Well, how would you like to fly a plane?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Larimar''': I just wanted to say thanks for the amusement park job. I'm not great at the roller-coaster operation, we know, but I found out I'm good at handing out prizes to children, and I love their laughter.
:'''Steven''': Aww.
:'''Larimar''': It sounds just like screaming.

===''Rose Buds''===
:'''Holly Blue Agate''': Stop relaxing and get back to your posts! Ugh! How can you stand this total lack of order?
:'''Amethyst Guard''': Chill out, Holly Blue. You know you want to.
:'''Holly Blue Agate''' I give up. No one answers to me, and I answer to no one. I'd give anything for an order from the Diamonds, but all they talk about is Steven, Steven, Steven -- Steven!
:'''Steven''': Hi, Holly.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[seeing all of the Rose Quartzes being un-bubbled]'' So... Many... Rose Quartzes. How did the--
:'''Superfan Rose''': Oh, now that it's Era 3, we were all unbubbled, so now, we're making up for lost time. Hi! I'm Rose Quartz, and you, you're Steven! You are so much smaller than I imagined! Is it because you're half organic? Can you believe it, Rose Quartz?!
:'''Hippie Rose''': It's like, we where bubbled, but now we're like, not bubbled.
:'''Steven''': Th-It's really-- It's really great.

===''Volleyball''===
:'''Steven''': So, how would you like your magical spit administered today?
:'''Ruby bodyguard''': Ah, geez, uh... the ''not'' kissing one?
:'''Steven''': You got it! ''[licks his palm and applies healing spit onto the Ruby's gem, healing the crack]'' Man, what kind of enemies does the mayor have to keep you landing in my office?
:'''Ruby bodyguard''': That's classified information, nurse-citizen Universe.
:'''Steven''': Okay, well, try not to classify too hard out there. Oh, don't forget your lollipop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On Pink Pearl's cracked face]''
:'''Pearl''': How could White be so careless?  
:'''Pink Pearl''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, no, Pearl. You've got it all wrong. Pink did this.
:'''Pearl''': ''[shocked]'' What did you say? ''[approaches her]'' 
:'''Steven''': Pearl, no...!  
:'''Pink Pearl''': It's a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn't fit to run one, and, well, that set her off. 
:'''Pearl''': &quot;Set her off&quot;? What are you talking about?  
:'''Pink Pearl''': You remember how she was, with her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right. She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn't mean to hurt me. ''[chuckles]'' I just happened to be standing too close to her that time, and--  
:'''Steven''': ''[covering his ears anxiously]'' Doesn't matter! I'm gonna fix it!  
:'''Pearl''': Destructive powers?! Pink didn't have destructive powers, she was a healer! She didn't throw tantrums, she kept her feelings secret!
:'''Pink Pearl''': The Pink I knew couldn't keep a secret to save her gem.  
:'''Pearl''': Are you kidding?! If anything, she was ''too'' good at keeping secrets, even from me!
:''[Frustrated by their arguing, Steven furiously snaps and starts glowing pink]''
:'''Steven''': ''[lividly]'' ''STOP IT!'' I CAN'T DEAL WITH ''ONE MORE'' HORRIBLE THING SHE DID, OKAY?! ''[Both Pearls gasp]'' I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT, I DON'T EVEN WANNA ''THINK'' ABOUT IT!
:'''Pearl''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': I JUST WANT TO '''''FIX IT!!!'''''
:''[Steven unleashes a shockwave that causes cracks around the room. Pink Pearl cowers in fear, and Steven looks at his own reflection in shock and remorse]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pearl''': I'm sorry for not believing you. It looks like I'm still making excuses for her. 
:'''Pink Pearl''': ''[tearfully]'' Is that what ''I've'' been doing?! But... she didn't mean to! 
:'''Pearl''': But you were hurt! Badly hurt! 
:'''Pink Pearl''': I was badly hurt... How did ''you'' stop hurting? 
:'''Pearl''': ''[embraces her tightly]'' I didn't.
:''[Pink Pearl returns the hug, and they fuse into Mega Pearl]''
:'''Steven''': You fused!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I'm so sorry. The whole trip was for nothing. 
:'''Mega Pearl''': No, it wasn't for nothing. Your mother's Pearls never had the whole picture. One knew your mother was trying to change, but she couldn't understand why. The other never expected her to change at all. Now, I get to understand everything. Now, they finally get to have each other.
:''[She separates into the two Pearls, peacefully holding hands]''

===''Bluebird''===
:'''Steven''': Tsk, tsk, tsk. You guys fused just because you hate me, didn't you?
:'''Aquamarine and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': Yes!
:'''Steven''': If that's the only reason, then it's no wonder you can't keep it together.
:'''Aquamarine''': What are you talking about?
:'''Steven''': There are so many other reasons to fuse, like friendship and responsibility and... and love. Imagine how much better it would feel to fuse to support each other, instead of tearing someone down. Your life would fill with warmth and friendship and joy and love and--
:'''&quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': ''[covering her ears]'' Wowie, wow! He is ''so'' annoying!
:'''Aquamarine''': I hate him so much!
:'''Aquamarine and &quot;Eyeball&quot; Ruby''': I know! Me too! ''[they fuse back into Bluebird]''
:'''Steven''': Are you kidding me?
:'''Bluebird''': At last!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I'm really sorry, Dad. I never should have given Bluebird a chance.
:'''Greg''': I love how you believe in everyone. You stuck to your principles, and I'm proud of you. I mean, everyone can change, but not everyone wants to.

===''A Very Special Episode''===
:''[Rainbow Quartz 2.0 unfuses and Steven answers the call]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you're late. I need you for the Sunstone safety Geminar.
:'''Steven''': Oh, no, that was today? But, Rainbow Quartz promised to hang out with Onion to-
:'''Garnet''': Don't worry, ''I'll'' handle the geminar. I'll explain to them every possible future where they get hurt in this house.
:'''Steven''': I don't know if that's a good idea. I'll be right there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ocean Jasper''': I slip on the stairs?
:'''Garnet''': Yes. You shatter on impact.
:''[Ocean Jasper, Earth and Heaven Beetle, and a Nephrite scream]''
:'''Steven''': ''[enters through the door]'' Garnet, I'm here.
:'''Garnet''': Steven, help. I think I'm scaring them.
:'''Steven''': It's okay. We got this. Let's get this safety Geminar started with a very special guest speaker.
:''[They both dance and fuse into Sunstone]''
:'''Sunstone''': Your rockin' pal Sunstone's here to shine.
:'''Ocean Jasper''': Watch out, Sunstone. It's dangerous in here.
:'''Sunstone''': Not if you practice home safety. Don't slip up. Clear objects off the stairs. Foul shot! Make sure you cover your trash, or you might attract wild animals. Come on. Let's go! Don't leave the water running, it could flood your house. Put protective covers on electrical outlets, especially when kids are around. And most importantly, turn off motion smoothing on your TV.
:'''Ocean Jasper''': Wow, everything looks so much better!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Steven receives a call from Pearl, who he left to take care of Onion]''
:'''Steven''': ''[exhausted]'' Please, please have everything under control...  
:'''Pearl''': STEVEN! EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL!
:'''Steven''': Yup...
:'''Pearl''': It's getting really weird here! Steven, you were never like this, you were such a good kid! I'm so sorry I never told you that! Aah! I... I can hear him, but I can't see him! I think he's in the walls! I don't know how he got there, and I don't know how to get him out! ''[call ends]''
:'''Steven''': ''[long gasp]'' Garnet, can you handle things on your own for a little bit?  
:'''Garnet''': No problem. Our students love me. ''[walks over to them]'' Let me tell you all the ways you can get hit by a car.  
:'''Steven''': Agh, Garnet! Forget it. I'll stay. I'll stay!  
:'''Pearl''': ''[in another call]'' STEVEN, THERE'S A SNAKE!
:'''Steven''': Never mind!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': Why play with sharp objects when you can play with my sharp wit? Crack jokes, not cookie jars, as I always say. Ha ha!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': It's important to keep in mind that all these horrible things ''did'' happen to you in alternate timelines. Safety is fun.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Onion has led Garnet's students off a cliff]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh, no!
:'''Garnet''': Steven, quick! Sunstone can save them!
:'''Steven''': Okay... ''[they fuse into Sunstone]'' 
:'''Sunstone''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Pearl''': No! Let Rainbow save them! ''[fuses with Steven]''  
:'''Rainbow Quartz 2.0''': ''[showing his umbrella]'' I'll catch them with this!  
:'''Amethyst''': ''[rushing in]'' Hey, wait! ''I'' need Steven!
:'''Steven''' ''[unfuses from Pearl]'' What is it, Amethyst?  
:'''Amethyst''': I just miss you, man! I haven't seen you for, like, eleven minutes!

===''Snow Day''===
:'''Amethyst''': ''[enters with fried eggs for eyes]'' You really gonna skip the most egg-ssential meal of the day?
:'''Steven''': Of course not. I've got all my morning nutrients in this protein shake.
:'''Amethyst''': ''[pokes yolk to leak]'' Dude, you're making me sad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Man, you had a better work-life balance when the Diamonds were trying to destroy the planet.
:'''Steven''': That was then. This is now.
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, you know what we haven't done in a long time? ''[shapeshifts into 14-year-old Steven]'' Steven Tag!
:'''Steven''': Amethyst, what the heck?!
:'''Amethyst''': You know the rules, buster. You get tagged, you have to turn into Steven.
:'''Steven''': But I'm already Steven!
:'''Amethyst''': Nah, bruh. ''Classic'' Steven.
:'''Steven''': ''Classic Steven?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pearl gets tagged in Garnet and Amethyst's new game of Steven Tag]''
:'''Steven''': Ha! Joke's on you! Pearl doesn't shapeshift! ''[Pearl starts to glow]'' Huh?
:'''Pearl''': ''[shapeshifts into Steven]'' The power of Steven Tag COMPELS ME!
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Wow. Good for her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': It was a snowman… ''[takes off her visor]'' with Steven's jacket. NOOOOOO!
:'''Steven''': ''[shivering]'' They'll never stop until they make me play.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I really didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. I ''JOIN'' THE GAME!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You shouldn't have messed with me. Huh? ''[gets tagged by Sapphire]''
:'''Sapphire''': Tag.
:'''Steven''': ''[falls off the lighthouse]'' Oh, no. Is this the end of my adult life?

===''Why So Blue?''===
:'''Steven''' You're right. This is harder than usual.  
:'''Lapis''': You've just got to force them to stop. This is going to be a fight. They're not nice like me.  
:'''Steven''': Umm...  
:'''Lapis''': Exactly.  
:'''Steven''': They just don't understand that they're doing harm. Y-you get it. What made it click for you?  
:'''Lapis''': ''A cycle of horrible torture.'' ''[smiling]'' But other than that, living in nature, getting creative.
:'''Steven''': Yeah! Come on, we can do that for them.  
:'''Lapis''': Okay. Just a little torture.  
:'''Steven''': N-no, just the other stuff. 
:'''Lapis''': ''[sighs]'' Fine, we'll try it your way.
:''[They head back to the two Lapis Lazulis]'' 
:'''Steven''': Hey, so, why don't we explore the many things that you can do that don't involve destroying worlds?  
:'''&quot;Mean&quot; Lapis''': Should we listen to him?  
:'''&quot;Nice&quot; Lapis''': He is half-Diamond. Maybe, we should half-listen.  
:'''Steven''': I'll take that as a &quot;yes.&quot; Let's go. 

===''Little Graduation''===
:'''Lars''': ''[about Shep]'' Say hi to them for me.

===''Prickly Pair''===
:'''Cactus Steven''': I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'd blame herself! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cactus Steven''': I can't hear any more high and mighty advice from Garnet! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cactus Steven''': I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's so mature now!
:'''Amethyst''': Why's it being so weirdly specific?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Hey, dude?
:'''Pearl''': Is there anything you need to talk about?
:'''Steven''': ''[softly]'' ... I think I've said enough.

===''In Dreams''===
:''[After Steven and Peridot have watched the'' Camp Pining Hearts ''reboot]''
:'''Steven''': Wha…? Wha…?!
:'''Steven and Peridot''': '''''WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!?!?'''''  
:'''Peridot''': What is with this Rodrigo guy?! He has no charisma!  
:'''Steven''': And can we talk about this cinematography?!  
:'''Peridot''': GAAAH, THEY'VE CHANGED ''ALL'' THE CHARACTERS, AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THEM! ''[grabs the television]'' HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! ''[sobs] Camp Pining Hearts'' helped me escape when everything around me was in chaos...  
:'''Steven''': ''CPH'' brought us together... 
:'''Peridot''': And now, LOOK AT THIS NIGHTMARE! ''[the TV suddenly shows Steven's dream]'' Steven?! You didn't tell me that they cast you!  
:'''Steven''': What?! They didn't. I-Is this... my dream from last night? ''[on the TV, after Steven falls and the dream ends, it goes back to'' Camp Pining Hearts ''again]'' Whoa! My- My powers must be interfering with the TV signal!  
:'''Peridot''': ''[delighted]'' Steven! Do you know what this means?!  
:'''Steven''': I have to start wearing a tinfoil hat?  
:'''Peridot''': No! It means that if we can put your dreams on the television, we can reboot the reboot!  
:'''Steven''': &quot;Reboot the...?&quot; Peridot, you're a genius!  
:'''Peridot''': I know.
:'''Steven''': And, well, it might be fun to fix something that isn't the entire universe.  
:'''Peridot''': ''[grabs him with one arm]'' This is going to be the beginning of Peridot and Steven Productions!  
:'''Steven''': Yeah-- whoa! ''[topples onto her]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': Peridot! We've always had something to fix together - the Cluster, the Diamonds, or Spinel! I don't think I know how to be a friend without something to fix! But I... I just can't do it anymore! I'm so tired... Now I'm even doing it in my dreams! I'm sorry, I can't do this for you. Please don't leave! Don't... leave!
:''[The dream stops, in the manner of a TV turning off; Steven awakens, in tears, to Peridot's concerned voice]''
:'''Peridot''': Steven? Steven! STEVEN! Steven, I saw everything! It's-- It's fine! We don't have to do this anymore. ''[hugs him and starts tearing up]'' I don't care about the show, and I ''definitely'' don't care about Rodrigo! Hrrrgh, I'm such a clod!
:'''Steven''': But I really wanted to spend time with you! I just... wanted an excuse to hang out.
:'''Peridot''': We don't need an excuse to hang out.
:'''Steven''': Can... we still watch ''CPH'' together? Even if it sucks?
:'''Peridot''': ''[removes her visor to wipe her eyes, and smiles]'' Of course.
:''[Later, they watch the show]''
:'''Jasmine''': ''[in the show, angrily]'' How could you lie to me like that, Rodrigo?! I guess you just can't help being a bad person!
:''[Steven and Peridot laugh]''
:'''Peridot''': Jasmine, you just ''buried a body in the woods'', and now you're mad that Rodrigo cheated at ''cards?!''
:''[They laugh again]''
:'''Peridot''': This show is the worst!
:'''Steven''': ''[smiling warmly at her]'' This show is the best.

===''Bismuth Casual''===
:''[At the Starlight Roller Rink]''
:'''Bismuth''': Woooow! So you mean to tell me people pay to have wheels strapped to their feet for fun? That is really something else.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Patricia''': You should have seen Daniel earlier. He was all bent out of shape 'cos his mom tore into him over his last test scores!
:'''Daniel''': ''[groans]'' You know, I kind of forgot about it for a sec.
:'''Steven''': Heh... I know how that is. One time, White Diamond tore into me... literally! ''[laughs awkwardly]'' She, uh, she took my gem - I'm part Gem, by the way - she pulled it right out of my body.
:'''Daniel''': Okay...?
:'''Patricia''': So what grade are you in, Steven?
:'''Steven''': Grade? Err, uh... sixteen?
:'''Patricia''': ''[laughs]''
:'''Daniel''': So you're taking AP classes?
:'''Steven''': Uh...
:'''Connie''': Y'all ready to skate?
:'''Patricia''': Heck, yeah!
:''[Connie, Patricia and Daniel skate away]''
:'''Steven''': I really blew that one. Bet if they were enemy Gems, we'd be best friends by now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Pearl forms a roll of toilet paper from her gem and gives it to Bismuth]''
:'''Pearl''': Oh, here, take this. Every human has at least one of these in their homes. Sometimes they even use it ''[secretively]'' for vandalism! Good luck out there! ''[starts skating away]''
:'''Bismuth''': Wait, where are you going?
:'''Pearl''': You don't need me anymore, Bismuth - the humans already love you! I'm going to make some new connections of my own! ''[to a random skater]'' Hello, fellow skater! Would you like a fresh roll? ''[forms another roll]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': When Connie and I were fighting to save the universe, things were sort of easier. We were fighting the same fight. Now it's like we're living different lives. I wonder if I'm even her best friend anymore...
:'''Bismuth''': ''[pounds the table firmly]'' How long has this been going on?
:'''Steven''': Err... couple of months.
:'''Bismuth''': Listen, Steven. Pearl brought me here to set me up with her friends, but Connie came here to be with ''you.'' You've got nothing to mope about.
:'''Steven''': But her friends think I'm weird.
:'''Bismuth''': Of course you're weird! You're a Crystal Gem! Connie knows that, she's always known that! That never stopped you from being friends!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Steven collapses in the rink]''
:'''Connie''': Steven! Are you okay?
:'''Steven''': Connie, I'm sorry... I don't wanna hold you back.
:'''Connie''': I don't mind.
:'''Steven''': You've got school, new friends, you're going places and... I'm happy for you. But I feel like you're drifting away from me. I wish we could reconnect, but... BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKATE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Steven and Connie win the skating contest as Stevonnie]''
:'''Patricia''': Steven, Connie, that was amazing!
:'''Daniel''': What the heck was that out there?
:'''Connie''': Oh, fusion? Yeah, that's kind of our thing.
:'''Steven''': It's something I picked up from my mom's side of the family.
:'''Daniel''': The only thing I get from my mom's side of the family is ''stressed out.''
:'''Steven''': ''[chuckles]'' Same...

===''Together Forever''===
:''[After Connie turns down Steven's proposal]''
:'''Steven''': I don't get it. Ruby and Sapphire said I should go for it.  
:'''Garnet''': You can't trust love advice from those two hopeless romantics.  
:'''Steven''': Then why didn't you stop me?  
:'''Garnet''': There was no future where you didn't propose to Connie.  
:'''Steven''': Of course...
:'''Garnet''': ''[hugs him]'' Your soulmate is your complement, not your missing piece. Ruby and Sapphire love being together, but they each have their own individual lives. Whatever hole there is in your life, Steven, I want you to understand that Connie-Stevonnie won't be able to fill it.

===''Growing Pains''===
:'''Priyanka''': Steven, do you remember anything bad in your childhood that particularly stuck with you?
:'''Steven''': I guess…I kind of freaked out when they [[w:Gem Glow|cancelled my favorite ice cream]]. And then I got attacked by a giant bug monster. And I got trapped in a bubble and almost drowned. I lost control of my body and turned into a blob of cats. I almost turned so old I died. Amethyst almost died. Pearl [[w:Steven the Sword Fighter|''did'' die]]. Garnet got destabilized right in front of me. I woke up with a black eye, [[w:Jail Break (Steven Universe)|imprisoned on a spaceship]]--
:'''Priyanka''': Steven, this is serious.
:'''Steven''': But that was just the early stuff.
:'''Priyanka''': I think all these experiences have been subjecting your body to a harmful amount of stress, and that's affecting your ability to respond to new forms of stress in a healthy way. You've been dealing with genuine threats from such a young age, your body is now responding to minor threats as if your life were in danger.
:'''Steven''': But, why am I only swelling up now?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Greg''': Come on, Steven, talk to me.
:'''Steven''': ''[tearing up]'' I... well... I, um... I proposed to Connie!
:'''Greg''': You what?!
:'''Steven''': She said no.
:'''Greg''': Oh, Steven...
:'''Steven''': My body... it's reacting like it's the end of the world. I think I've seen the world almost end so many times now that ''everything'' that goes wrong feels that... that extreme! I should be feeling so good these days! The Earth is safe, it's Era 3... But I'm swelling up over these third era problems! What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?!
:'''Greg''': It's gonna be all right, Stewball. I'm here for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': I guess I thought I could just follow Connie to college, like if we got married I'd know what to do with myself. But I'm the one that's gotta figure that stuff out.
:'''Greg''': Cut yourself some slack! It's okay to be worried and make some mistakes when you're figuring out what to do with your life. That's not unusual. Uh, well, the magic swelling is a little unusual, but that's okay too! If you want to be a giant boy, we can use the car wash as a shower.

=== ''Mr. Universe'' ===
:'''Steven''': I don't need this song! I need...I need what you had!
:'''Greg''': What?
:'''Steven''': I wish I could've grown up at a house like that.
:'''Greg''': No you don't!
:'''Steven''': Maybe your parents weren't so bad. Maybe they gave you curfews and chaperones and meatloaf f-for a reason!
:'''Greg''': Steven, you don't know what they were like!
:'''Steven''': They can't be worse then mom's family. I went halfway across the galaxy for them, and this was right here?!
:'''Greg''': Steven, I couldn't do anything growing up. Everything I liked, or wore, wanted was always wrong! Trust me, you're better off then I was.
:'''Steven''': I can't believe I never realized, you're... you're just like Mom! ''[turns pink as his grip tightens on the steering wheel]''
:'''Greg''': You grew up with actual freedom!
:'''Steven''': I grew up in a ''van!'' I never went to school! I've never been to the doctor until two days ago!
:'''Greg''': Steven! You're a gem! You're not like other kids!
:'''Steven''': I could have done all that stuff! My problem isn't that I'm a gem, my problem is that I'm a ''UNIVERSE!!''

===''Fragments''===
:'''Pearl''': How could this happen? You crashed the van with Greg inside? You know how fragile he is, these pink outbursts of yours are getting out of hand.
:'''Steven''': It's not an ''[turns pink]'' OUTBURST!
:'''Pearl''': See? This is exactly what I'm talking about! What's happening to you?
:'''Steven''': Nothing! ...It's nothing.
:'''Pearl''': S-Steven! Where are you going?! We're not pro- ''[Steven summons out a generated force field]'' Steven! Drop this wall!
:'''Steven''': Pearl, sorry. I'm trying- I just… need… some space, OK? I'll be in my room.
:'''Amethyst''': Not so fast, my dude. You gotta tell us what's going on.
:'''Garnet''': It looks like Steven is trying to avoid a serious discussion about this ''all'' together.
:'''Steven''': '''NO, I'M''' &lt;big&gt;'''NOT!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[slams his fist into the stairs, unleashing a room-wrecking shockwave]''
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you have got to calm down and talk to us!
:'''Amethyst''': Just chill, man!
:'''Steven''': Nnghh…
:'''Pearl''': We need to do something about this before someone gets hurt!
:'''Steven''': NNGGHH…
:'''Garnet''': Don't let this power control you. You're better than this.
:'''Steven''': NNGGHH… &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[notices the Gems are walking in slow-motion]'' I'm…speeding up again. I gotta get out of here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': This thing with my powers is a real problem!
:'''Jasper''': The only problem you have are your friends.
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Jasper''': Can't you see they're holding you back?
:'''Steven''': What? No, they're-- they're just worried about me.
:'''Jasper''': They're afraid. Of your power.
:'''Steven''': Yeah... yeah, I guess so...
:'''Jasper''': You are too. You came all the way out here to hide from it. But ''I'm'' not here to hide. I don't stifle my anger or my power; I channel it into training!
:'''Steven''': Oh, right... this destroyed forest.
:'''Jasper''': I've got no one to serve, nowhere to go. All I have left is '''''POWER!''' [she punches a tree, completely smashing it apart]'' And in order to control that power, I have to ''use'' it. Those so-called &quot;friends&quot; of yours don't understand. They want you to feel bad for being yourself.
:'''Steven''': I ''do'' feel bad… ''[steps over to another tree and punches it, cringing in pain and remorse]''
:'''Jasper''': YEAH, DESTROY THAT WEAKLING TREE!
:'''Steven''': No! ''[kisses the tree, healing it and making grass sprout around it]''
:'''Jasper''': Ugh! Gross! That's disgusting! Bleh! No! The grass! ''[tears at it]'' Get outta here! ''[grabs Steven]'' Quit helping the local ecosystem recover!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On Steven's new, more muscular form]''
:'''Jasper''': Hm. Not bad for three days of work. ''[Steven kisses one of his biceps]'' I didn't teach you that…

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jasper''': What are you holding back for?! You think I can't take it? I'm not gonna coddle you, Steven! Do you wanna go home to your gems?
:'''Steven''': No…
:'''Jasper''': Are you afraid to be strong? Are you pathetic? Are you ''weak?''
:'''Steven''': &lt;big&gt;'''''I'M NOT!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': You're right, Jasper. I ''have'' been holding back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Having shattered Jasper after losing control in their rematch, Steven hurries back to his bathroom and dips the fragments into Diamond aura potions]''
:'''Steven''': Please, please let this work! ''[crying]'' Jasper, I'm sorry. Please… come back. ''[his tears add Pink's aura to the mix]'' Please…
:''[After a while, Jasper's gem glows and heals, and she reforms]''
:'''Jasper''': ''[panting]'' Huh? What? You... ''shattered'' me?
:'''Steven''': Jasper! I-I'm so sorry, I should have stopped! I-I just wasn't thinking!  
:'''Jasper''': ''[steps out of the bathtub and bows on one knee]'' I bow to your strength… ''my Diamond.''  
:'''Steven''': ''[horrified]'' No...!

===''Homeworld Bound''===
:'''Pearl''': ''[knocks on the bathroom door]'' Steven?
:'''Amethyst''': What's going on in there? ''[Jasper emerges]'' Jasper?!
:'''Pearl''': What are you-?
:'''Amethyst''': Where's Steven?!
:'''Jasper''': Right here. ''[steps aside, revealing him looking scared and depressed]''
:'''Amethyst''': Steven? Where have you been?!
:''[Steven walks off upstairs to his conservatory]''
:'''Pearl''': You can't just disappear for days without telling us!
:'''Jasper''': My Diamond can do has he pleases.
:'''Amethyst''': Wait, what?!
:'''Pearl''': Why are you calling him that?!
:'''Garnet''': Steven!
:'''Pearl''': Where is he going?!
:''[The Gems follow Steven to his conservatory]''
:'''Pearl''': Steven, wait!
:'''Garnet''': You don't need to go.
:''[Steven turns pink and puts a barrier in front of the Gems as he sighs]''
:'''Amethyst''': What the HECK?!
:'''Steven''': You guys… I love you, but you ''can't'' help me anymore. I've been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can. Please, don't follow me. You too, Jasper. Find something better to do with your life.
:'''Garnet''': Steven! Remember, we'll always be your family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': STEVEN! ''[grabs him and kisses him]''
:'''Steven''': ''[turning pink]'' Spinel, what is wrong with you?!
:'''Spinel''': Oh, y'know, the usual.
:'''Steven''': ''[turning back to normal]'' So, how've you been since, err...?
:'''Spinel''': Since I tried to kill you? That was so embarrassing.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[controlling White Diamond]'' Whoa. This is… so weird. I'm-I'm, I'm a Diamond. This- This is the last thing I needed to see. I don't wanna be you! I don't wanna be anything like you! Why won't you just go '''AWAY?!''' ''[punches a pillar]'' Don't hurt me! She can't hurt me. I'm controlling her. So why am I so afraid? ''[flashes back to his memory of White pulling his gemstone out; scowls angrily]'' '''''She's''''' the one who should be afraid.
:'''White Diamond''': ''[talking in Steven's voice]'' What's- what's going on? ''[Steven starts controlling her like a puppet]'' What? No, stop it. I don't like this!
:'''Steven''': Too bad. ''[force controls White by walking toward a pillar]''
:'''White Diamond''': Let me go! ''[grabs hold of the pillar]'' Please! You're scaring me!
:'''Steven''': This is for '''everything''' you put me through! ''[forces White Diamond’s head to slam into the pillar, in an attempt to shatter her gemstone, instead, snaps them out of it and hits his own head, allowing White Diamond to regain her control again]''
:'''White Diamond''': ''[breathing; horrified]'' What… what ''was'' that?!
:'''Steven''': I-I don't know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Spinel''': Hey, buddy, where you going?
:'''Steven''': Wait a second - ''you'' used to have vengeful thoughts!
:'''Spinel''': ''[awkwardly]'' Ooooh, yeah... but I don't get 'em anymore.
:'''Steven''': How did you make them stop?
:'''Spinel''': I met a little someone named Steven Universe! And he told me: ''[singing]'' [[w:Steven Universe: The Movie|IIIIII, I can make a chaaaaange! You can make a promise...]]
:'''Steven''': Gah! Don't give me my own advice!

===''Everything's Fine''===
:'''Steven''': Hey, Connie, what's up?
:'''Connie''': Steven! Good, you finally picked up! I can't believe we haven't spoken since the hospital. How are you?
:'''Steven''': I'm great! Never been better!
:'''Connie''': Really? Have you had any more issues with swelling and glowing pink?
:'''Steven''': Um... Nope? Well, maybe, but how about you? How's college prep?
:'''Connie''': Steven, that's, uh- It's fine, but what do you mean, maybe?
:'''Steven''': Look, there's nothing to worry about. I'm OK.
:'''Connie''': Steven...
:'''Steven''': I should go. I don't wanna wake up the Gems.
:'''Connie''': But they don't even sleep!
:'''Steven''': Uh, bye!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[While trying to help in Bismuth's workshop]''
:'''Steven''': Ooh, look at that. Now you have ''two'' anvils.
:'''Bismuth''': Noooo! My anvil! My beautiful anvil!
:'''Steven''': Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, my work here is done. Well, toodles!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Connie''': Steven!
:'''Steven''': Huh?
:'''Connie''': I knew it! You ''are'' swelling and glowing again. I've been trying to call you, but I came as soon as I saw this. ''[holds out her phone, on which Steven, glowing and swelled up, is doing the plant Steven's dance and looping the message &quot;Steven's here to help!&quot;]'' What is going on?
:'''Steven''': I... broadcast my subconscious sometimes these days. It's really no big deal.
:'''Connie''': Okay, but... I can tell something is bothering you. ''[holds out her phone again; the message makes some statics]''
:'''Steven''': Ah, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine! Awesome, in fact. Come on, you've seen me when I wasn't doing well.
:'''Greg''': Steven, if being like this is what you want, then we'll support you one hundred percent. Whatever makes you happy. But, if you're not happy, if something's wrong-
:'''Steven''': Nothing's wrong! Besides, I don't want you to worry.
:'''Connie''': We ''are'' worried!
:'''Greg''': Steven, you know you can tell us anything.
:'''Steven''': It's not that easy! You know what? I don't have to deal with this! ''[walks towards the door, but Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie block his way]''
:'''Amethyst''': Hold up, dude.
:'''Garnet''': Steven, you need to stop running.
:'''Greg''': Please.
:''[Steven starts groaning in frustration, his head briefly swelling out of shape]''
:'''Connie''': Steven, we should get you back to the hospital.
:'''Amethyst and Pearl''': HOSPITAL?!
:'''Pearl''': When were you in the hospital?!
:'''Connie''': You didn't tell them?!
:'''Steven''': 	''[becoming hysterical, starting to laugh uneasily]'' It wasn't that important, you guys! You're making a big deal out of nothing. Have I done some things wrong? Sure! I trashed the house today, I broke an anvil - what teenager hasn't? Dad and I had a little disagreement, but that's practically a rite of passage! I mean, it would be weird if we didn't, right? And ''maybe'' I've had a not-so-nice thought or two about, like, you know, slamming White Diamond's head through a pillar, but it's not like I actually went through with it! I only ''actually'' shattered Jasper!
:''[Pearl gasps in horrified shock]''
:'''Amethyst''': WHAT?!
:''[Garnet, Connie, and Greg gasp]''
:'''Connie''': You're- you're joking, right?
:'''Steven''': Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix ''anything!'' I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!
:'''Garnet''': Steven...
:'''Steven''': ''[sighs as he finally loses it]'' How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long? You have ''no'' idea how bad I am! Y-You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do! But ''that's'' not true! I haven't learned a thing from my problems! They've all just made me worse! You all think of me as some angel, but I'm not that kid anymore! ''[close-up on his scowl]'' I'm a fraud. ''[falls to the floor as his breaths become shaky]'' I'm a fraud. I'm a MONSTER! ''[massive pink spikes burst out of his back, tearing his shirt with everyone taking  a step back, with plain terror]''

===''I Am My Monster''===
:'''Greg''': ''[calling out]'' Just calm down, son! Take deep breaths! Deep breaths!
:'''Amethyst''': Yeah! Relax, buddy!
:'''Peridot''': Let's hurry up and clobber that thing!
:'''Garnet''': Stand down.
:'''Peridot''': What for?!
:'''Lapis''': Where's Steven?
:'''Garnet''': That ''is'' Steven.
:'''Peridot, Bismuth, &amp; Lapis''': ''[shocked]'' '''WHAT?!'''
:''[Monster Steven bashes his head against the cliff of the temple, causing an avalanche of boulders to fall]''
:'''Garnet''': RUN!
:'''Amethyst''': He's not listening to us at all!
:'''Pearl''': What happened to him? First, he says he's a shatterer and then he's turned into this...''thing''!
:'''Connie''': We can change him back, can't we?
:'''Garnet''': As long as he believes he's a monster, he'll ''stay'' one.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Spinel''': ''[jumps out of the Diamond ship, holding Steven's flip flop]'' You forgot your foot thong thingy! ''[sees Steven as a monster]'' OOOH, OH!
:''[The Diamonds walk out of the ship]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': What is going on here?
:'''White Diamond''': Why is something like this ''always'' happening when we show up for a visit?
:'''Blue Diamond''': What is that thing?
:'''Garnet''': That &quot;thing&quot; is Steven.
:''[Blue, White Diamond, and Spinel gasp in shock]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': WHAT?!
:'''White Diamond''': Impossible!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Is he corrupted?
:'''Yellow Diamond''': But how?
:'''Garnet''': Never mind that. We have to change him back.
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Leave it to me. ''[she catches Monster Steven's head in an energy aura and tries to shrink it down, only for it to revert back immediately, to her confusion]'' With my new power, I should be able to alter his physical form.
:'''Blue Diamond''': He's resisting. Maybe he needs to feel better first. I can help with that. ''[she sends a cloud of joy towards Monster Steven, but he blows it right back]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Look out! ''[the cloud hits her and Spinel, and they start laughing uncontrollably]'' Wow! Your new power didn't work either!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[pushes Yellow and Blue aside and approaches Monster Steven]'' Enough. I know exactly how to help. If I connect with him and he speaks through me, maybe we'll understand what he's going through. Now then, do you hear me, Steven? ''[her gem glows and the atmosphere's colors change]'' Just relax and let me in… Wait-- ''[her eyes glow, and she cries out and falls back as Yellow and Blue catch her]''
:'''Yellow Diamond''': White!
:'''Blue Diamond''': What happened?!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[horrified]'' That's ''not'' Steven anymore!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Amethyst''': Guys, look! The Cluster is trying to hold Steven back!
:'''Peridot''': I can't believe it! He's even stronger than the Cluster!
:'''Bismuth''': Don't let your guard down. He could break free at any moment!
:'''Pearl''': Deep inside this…monster, Steven must be in there, so angry.
:'''Amethyst''': I knew something was going on. I- Why didn't I ''do'' something?!
:'''Sapphire''': ''[crying]'' If we don't get through to him, he'll stay like this ''forever!'' ''[starts sobbing along with Ruby while Lapis watches]''
:'''Amethyst''': ''[to Greg as he takes a few steps back]'' Dude, you should get outta here before you get hurt!
:'''Greg''': ''[stomps his foot]'' NO! Everytime Gem stuff happens, I run the other way! This is ''my'' son! And he's right to be angry, because I didn't protect him!
:'''Blue Diamond''': ''[tearing up; crying]'' You didn't protect him from us! He's like this because of us!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': ''[crying]'' ''We're'' the source of Steven's suffering!
:'''Spinel''': ''[breaks down, sobbing hysterically and blowing her nose into her pigtails]'' THIS IS ''MY'' FAULT!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[crying]'' Spinel, don't be silly. Everyone knows that all of this is because of ''me!''
:'''Spinel''': No, it's ME! I tried to wipe his friends' memories, so he would die alone on a barren world!
:'''White Diamond''': ''[crying and sobbing]'' That was because you were angry with Pink! And if Pink hurt you, it was because ''I'' hurt ''her!'' Like I hurt Yellow and Blue and Steven and everyone in the entire universe! This is all ''my'' fault!
:'''Connie''': YES, it is! ''[rides in on Lion]'' Yes, you hurt him, but this isn't the time to make this all about you! That is not helping! Maybe Steven would care how sad you are, because he always puts everyone else's feelings first! But he can't do that for you right now, because he needs ''us'' this time! We all have Steven when we needed him. But the only person who's never had Steven is Steven! He's ''always'' been there for us, so… how can we be there for him now?
:''[Ruby and Sapphire smile and fuse back into Garnet]''
:'''Garnet''': I know how. 
:''[Monster Steven breaks free of the Cluster's hand, defeats it and charges at the beach]''
:'''Garnet''': Okay! No time to waste. Yellow, make me as big as him!
:'''Yellow Diamond''': Right.
:'''Garnet''': Blue, lift everyone up!
:'''Blue Diamond''': Of course.
:'''Garnet''': Everyone, get in line!
:'''Greg''': You got it!
:'''Garnet''': It's time to show Steven… some love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Garnet''': ''[hugging her arms tightly around Monster Steven while he's struggling; calmly]'' Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me. I want to be there for ''you'' now. I'm here, Steven. I'm here.
:'''Lapis''': This is working? You hear us? Steven! ''[comes and hugs him]''
:''[Everyone comes in for the hug too]''
:'''Greg''': I'm here, Schtu-Ball! Whatever you need, I'll make it happen! You hear me?!
:'''Peridot''': Steven! You never gave up on me for some reasons I don't understand! I'll do the same for you!
:'''Amethyst''': I know you feel bad! Believe me, I get it! Sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but… it's possible, man!
:'''Pearl''': Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret! You shouldn't have to hide anything from me!
:''[Monster Steven stammers emotionally, and the Cluster's hand reappears and takes his]''
:'''Connie''': ''[jumps off Lion's head and lands on Monster Steven's nose, walks closer to his face and hugs him; sighs]'' Steven… you must have been ''so'' afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere. We're all gonna take care of you the same way you took care of us. You know what? I don't have your powers, but… ''[kisses him with a pink droplet appearing]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Steven''': ''[wakes up, back to his normal human-self, still crying]'' Huh? ''[looks and sees everyone smiling at him]'' Wha…I… Did-Did I-I'm- ''[Lion pops up and licks him; chuckling]'' Lion. ''[hugs Lion]'' Lion! ''[begins sobbing, letting out his emotions]''

===''The Future''===
:'''Jasper''': ''[bursts through the wall, staying aloof]'' Heard you’re leaving. ''[faces at Steven]'' I’m coming with you!
:'''Steven''': Jasper, I’m going ''alone.''
:'''Jasper''': Then who will protect you?!
:'''Steven''': I can protect myself.
:'''Jasper''': ''[sighs disappointingly, scowls]'' I know. ''[punches a hole in the ground and looks the opposite direction]'' Farewell, my Diamond. ''[headbutts the wall, creating another Jasper-shaped hole next to the previous one, walks through it]''
:'''Steven''': Whoa! Even Jasper's more upset than my own family! Maybe I need a round two?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Garnet''': I couldn't resist looking into your future. I peeked, and I saw a possibility that our tears would keep you from leaving. But I also saw many paths ahead of you, and we are a part of ''all'' of them. Wherever you end up, we will visit you to talk, to listen, to be there – whenever you need us. We love you, Steven.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
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[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
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[[Category:Steven Universe]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Billie Eilish</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:46:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
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      <text bytes="16274" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Billie Eilish Red Rocks 06.05.19 (48012828283).jpg|thumb|I know it makes you nervous &lt;br /&gt; But I promise you, it's worth it &lt;br /&gt; To show 'em everything you kept inside &lt;br /&gt; Don't hide, don't hide]]
'''[[w: Billie Eilish|Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O'Connell]]''' (born [[18 December]] [[2001]]) is an American singer and songwriter.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Billie Eilish - Los Angeles 2017 (03).jpg|thumb|My brother came to me with &quot;[[w:Ocean Eyes (song)|Ocean Eyes]]&quot;, which he had originally written for his band. … We put it on SoundCloud with a free download link next to it so my dance teacher could access it. We had no intentions for it, really. But basically overnight a ton of people started hearing it and sharing it.]]
[[File:Billie Eilish at Icebox.png |thumb|I have never done [[drugs]], I’ve never got high, I’ve never smoked anything in my [[life]]. I don’t give a fuck, I never have. It’s just not interesting to me. I have other shit to do.]]
[[File:Billie Eilish 08 10 2017 -24 (37238840341).jpg|thumb|Wake up and smell the coffee &lt;br /&gt; Is your cup half full or empty?]]

* '''My whole family is really musical.''' My brother and my mom both write songs and my dad has always played the piano and ukulele. When we were little, my dad would make us mix tapes with songs by artists like the [[Beatles]] and [[Avril Lavigne]], so we learned a lot from those. Even though I never really thought of being a singer, I’ve always loved it. I’ve been in the Los Angeles Children’s Chorus since I was about 8, which has helped my technique so much. It’s showed me all of the different types of classic music there are and how beautiful they can be. When I was 11 or 12, I started writing songs because it’s a good way to express your feelings. My brother is a really good songwriter so we’d give each other notes and write stuff together.
** [https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-billie-eilishs-ocean-eyes-turned-her-into-an-overnight-sensation &quot;How Billie Eilish's &quot;Ocean Eyes&quot; Turned Her Into an Overnight Sensation&quot; by Ariana Marsh, ''Teen Vogue'' (24 February 2017)]

* '''Aside from [[singing]], I'm also a [[dancer]].''' I've been dancing since I was eight. Last year, one of my teachers asked if I would either write a song or have my brother write a song to choreograph a dance to. I was like, &quot;yes, that's such a cool thing to do!&quot; Then, my brother came to me with &quot;'''[[w:Ocean Eyes (song)|Ocean Eyes]]'''&quot;, which he had originally written for his band. He told me he thought it would sound really good in my voice. He taught me the song and we sang it together along to his guitar and I loved it — it was stuck in my head for weeks. '''We kind of just decided that that was the song we were going to use for the dance. We put it on SoundCloud with a free download link next to it so my dance teacher could access it. We had no intentions for it, really. But basically overnight a ton of people started hearing it and sharing it.''' Hillydilly, a music discovery website, found it and posted it and it just got bigger and bigger. It was really surreal. Then, Danny Ruckasin, who is now my manager, reached out to my brother and was like, &quot;dude, this is going to get huge and I think you’re going to need help along the way. I want to help you guys.&quot; We were like, &quot;that’s swag!&quot;
** &quot;How Billie Eilish's &quot;Ocean Eyes&quot; Turned Her Into an Overnight Sensation&quot; by Ariana Marsh, ''Teen Vogue'' (24 February 2017)

* '''I have never done drugs, I’ve never got high, I’ve never smoked anything in my life. I don’t give a fuck, I never have.''' It’s just not interesting to me. I have other shit to do. … I know people around you doing that shit makes you want to, but you don’t have to … [her song  &quot;[[w:Xanny (song)|xanny]]&quot; is] less &quot;don’t do drugs&quot;; it’s more &quot;be safe&quot; …. '''I don’t want my friends to die any more.'''
** As quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/mar/29/billie-eilish-the-pop-icon-who-defines-21st-century-teenage-angst &quot;Billie Eilish: the pop icon who defines 21st-century teenage angst&quot; by Hannah Ewens, in ''The Guardian'' (29 March 2019)]

* ''[[w:Bing (search engine)|Bing]]?'' Who the fuck uses Bing?
** After being asked &quot;What about Bing?&quot;, after stating stats of 152 million [[w:Google Search|Google searches for her name]], in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YltHGKX80Y8 &quot;Billie Eilish: Same Interview, The Third Year&quot;, ''Vanity Fair'' (25 November 2019)]

* '''Yeah, I'm definitely successful.''' … I was thinking about that earlier today, because of ''this interview'', I was like — back then I thought, it's was like the biggest it was ever going to be, and I thought, it was the most I was ever going to be recognized and it was the most anyone was going to know me... and it was the most money I was going to have, the most clothes I'd have, the most shoes I'd have — and what's crazy is: ''it wasn't''. … &quot;Success&quot; is not how well people know you, it's how you're like &quot;looked at&quot;. I genuinely did not think people would care. '''It's like I can't even stress it enough: ''I can't believe people care so much'' — about ''me''. It's crazy to me.'''
** &quot;Billie Eilish: Same Interview, The Third Year&quot;, ''Vanity Fair'' (25 November 2019)

=== Singles (2017 - present) ===
* Wake up and smell the coffee &lt;br /&gt; Is your cup half full or empty?
** &quot;[[w:Come Out and Play (Billie Eilish song)|Come Out and Play]]&quot; (20 November 2018) · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXFdnHiGwos YouTube audio], co-written with [[Finneas O'Connell]].

* You'll never know until you try it &lt;br /&gt; You don't have to keep it quiet &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I know it makes you nervous &lt;br /&gt; But I promise you, it's worth it &lt;br /&gt; To show 'em everything you kept inside &lt;br /&gt; Don't hide, don't hide &lt;br /&gt; Too shy to say, but I hope you stay &lt;br /&gt; Don't hide away &lt;br /&gt; Come out and play
** ''[[w:Come Out and Play (Billie Eilish song)|Come Out and Play]]'' (20 November 2018), co-written with [[Finneas O'Connell]].

* When I was older &lt;br /&gt; I was a sailor &lt;br /&gt; On an open sea &lt;br /&gt; But now I'm underwater &lt;br /&gt; And my skin is paler &lt;br /&gt; Than it should ever be
** [[w:When I Was Older|When I Was Older]], ''Music Inspired by the Film [[w:Roma (2018 film)|Roma]]'' (9 January 2019)

* I had a dream &lt;br /&gt; I got everything I wanted &lt;br /&gt; Not what you'd think &lt;br /&gt; And if I'm being honest &lt;br /&gt;It might have been a nightmare &lt;br /&gt; To anyone who might care
** &quot;[[w:Everything I Wanted (Billie Eilish song)|everything i wanted]]&quot; · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgdG91aCsPU First live performance, Mexico City (12 December 2019)] 

* I had a dream &lt;br /&gt; I got everything I wanted &lt;br /&gt; But when I wake up, I see &lt;br /&gt; You with me &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; And you say &lt;br /&gt; As long as I'm here &lt;br /&gt; No one can hurt you &lt;br /&gt; Don't wanna lie here &lt;br /&gt; But you can learn to &lt;br /&gt; If I could change the way that you see yourself &lt;br /&gt; You wouldn't wonder why you hear &lt;br /&gt; &quot;They don't deserve you&quot;
** &quot;everything i wanted&quot;

*  I saw you there &lt;br /&gt; Too much to bear &lt;br /&gt; You were my life &lt;br /&gt; But life is far away from fair. &lt;br /&gt; Was I stupid to love you? &lt;br /&gt; Was I reckless to help? &lt;br /&gt; Was it obvious to everybody else &lt;br /&gt; That I'd fallen for a lie? &lt;br /&gt; You were never on my side &lt;br /&gt; Fool me once, fool me twice &lt;br /&gt; Are you death or paradise? &lt;br /&gt; Now you'll never see me cry &lt;br /&gt; There's just no time to die.
** [[w:No Time to Die (song)|&quot;No Time to Die&quot; (13 February 2020)]], co-written with [[Finneas O'Connell]] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BboMpayJomw Official video (1 October 2020)] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ltmarIBP8 Live performance on ''The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon'' (5 October 2020)]

* I can't seem to focus &lt;br /&gt; And you don't seem to notice &lt;br /&gt; I'm not here &lt;br /&gt; I'm just a mirror.
** [[w:My Future|&quot;my future&quot; (30 July 2020)]] * [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A ''my future'' animated video (30 July 2020)] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FvEDuWeB4A Live performance (19 August 2020)]

* Do you understand? &lt;br /&gt; I've changed my plans &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause I, I'm in love &lt;br /&gt; With my future &lt;br /&gt; Can't wait to meet her &lt;br /&gt; And I, I'm in love &lt;br /&gt; But not with anybody else &lt;br /&gt; Just wanna get to know myself.
** &quot;my future&quot; (30 July 2020)

* I know supposedly I'm lonely now (lonely now) &lt;br /&gt; Know I'm supposed to be unhappy &lt;br /&gt; Without someone (someone) &lt;br /&gt; But aren't I someone? (Aren't I someone? Yeah)
** &quot;my future&quot; (30 July 2020)

* I'm not your friend or anything, damn &lt;br /&gt; You think that you're the man &lt;br /&gt; I think, therefore, I am.
** [[w:Therefore I Am (song)|&quot;Therefore I Am&quot; (12 November 2020)]] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUQl6YcMalg Official Music Video (Nov 12 November 2020)]

=== ''[[w:Don't Smile at Me|Dont Smile At Me]]'' (2017) ===

* Don't be cautious, don't be kind &lt;br /&gt; You committed, I'm your crime &lt;br /&gt; Push my button anytime &lt;br /&gt; You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine
** &quot;[[w:Copycat (Billie Eilish song)|Copycat]]&quot;

* If teardrops could be bottled  &lt;br /&gt; There'd be swimming pools filled by models &lt;br /&gt; Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore &lt;br /&gt; If &quot;I love you&quot; was a promise &lt;br /&gt; Would you break it, if you're honest &lt;br /&gt; Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before &lt;br /&gt; I don't wanna be you anymore
** &quot;[[w:Idontwannabeyouanymore|Idontwannabeyouanymore]]&quot; · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tn2S3kJlyU Official video]

=== ''[[w:When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?|When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?]]'' (2019) ===
[[File:Billie Eilish at Pukkelpop Festival - 18 AUGUST 2019 (10).jpg|thumb|I don't need a [[w:Xanax|Xanny]] to feel better&lt;br /&gt; On designated drives home&lt;br /&gt; Only one who's not stoned&lt;br /&gt; Don't give me a Xanny now or ever]]

* So you're a tough guy  &lt;br /&gt; Like-it-really-rough guy &lt;br /&gt; Just-can't-get-enough guy &lt;br /&gt; Chest-always-so-puffed guy &lt;br /&gt; I'm that bad type &lt;br /&gt; Make-your-mama-sad type &lt;br /&gt; Make-your-girlfriend-mad type &lt;br /&gt; Might-seduce-your-dad type &lt;br /&gt; I'm the bad guy, duh &lt;br /&gt;  &lt;br /&gt; I'm the bad guy
** &quot;[[w:Bad Guy (Billie Eilish song)|Bad Guy]]&quot;

* I must be missing something&lt;br /&gt; They just keep doing nothing&lt;br /&gt; Too intoxicated to be scared&lt;br /&gt; Better off without them&lt;br /&gt; They're nothing but unstable&lt;br /&gt; Bring ashtrays to the table&lt;br /&gt; And that's about the only thing they share&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I'm in their second-hand smoke&lt;br /&gt; Still just drinking canned Coke&lt;br /&gt; I don't need a [[w:Xanax|Xanny]] to feel better&lt;br /&gt; On designated drives home&lt;br /&gt; Only one who's not stoned&lt;br /&gt; Don't give me a Xanny now or ever 
** &quot;[[w:Xanny (song)|xanny]]&quot; · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZyybvVx-js official video]

=== ''[[w:Happier Than Ever|Happier Than Ever]]'' (2021) ===
[[File:Billie Eilish for British Vogue, May 2021 (2).png|thumb|So don't waste the time I don't have &lt;br /&gt; Don't try to make me feel bad.]]

* When I'm away from you &lt;br /&gt; I'm [[happier]] than ever &lt;br /&gt;[[Wish]] I could [[explain]] it better&lt;br /&gt;I wish it wasn't [[true]]. &lt;br /&gt; Give me a day or two &lt;br /&gt; To [[think]] of something [[clever]] &lt;br /&gt; To write myself a letter &lt;br /&gt; To tell me what to do.
** &quot;[[w:Happier Than Ever (song)|Happier Than Ever]]&quot; · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GJWxDKyk3A Official video at YouTube] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPfW6mGx1SA Performance on ''Saturday Night Live'' (12 December 2021)]

* I don't relate to you &lt;br /&gt; I don't relate to you, no &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty &lt;br /&gt; You make me hate this city. &lt;br /&gt; And I don't talk shit about you on the internet &lt;br /&gt; Never told anyone anything bad &lt;br /&gt; 'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything &lt;br /&gt; And all that you did was make me fucking sad &lt;br /&gt; So don't waste the time I don't have &lt;br /&gt; Don't try to make me feel bad.
** &quot;Happier Than Ever&quot;

* You ruined everything good &lt;br /&gt; Always said you were misunderstood &lt;br /&gt; Made all my moments your own &lt;br /&gt; Just fucking leave me alone.
** &quot;Happier Than Ever&quot;

{{Misattributed begin}}

==Misattributed==

* I've been walking through a [[world]] gone [[blind]] &lt;br /&gt; Can't stop thinking of your [[diamond]] [[mind]] &lt;br /&gt; Careful creature made friends with [[time]] &lt;br /&gt; He left her lonely with a diamond mind &lt;br /&gt; And those ocean eyes
** &quot;[[w:Ocean Eyes (song)|Ocean Eyes]]&quot; — though her breakthrough hit after she posted [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d--DyK0wtYo her performance of it] to SoundCloud for her dance teacher on 18 November 2015, the lyrics were  written entirely by her brother [[w:Finneas O'Connell|Finneas O'Connell]], who also collaborates with her on most of her other musical work. · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viimfQi_pUw Official Music Video]

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Eilish ==

* Imagine going to sleep as a regular 14-year-old girl and waking up the next morning with your inbox flooded with email messages inquiring about your bourgeoning music career. That's what happened to Billie Eilish who, in 2015, made a somewhat unintentional arrival onto the music scene after uploading a track called &quot;[[w:Ocean Eyes (song)|Ocean Eyes]]&quot; to SoundCloud. &lt;br /&gt; Written and produced by her older brother and featuring her vocals, the song was originally created for Billie's dance teacher, who wanted to choreograph a routine to original music. '''Within hours, the tune garnered praise from various websites and she's been on the upswing ever since.'''
** Ariana Marsh, in [https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-billie-eilishs-ocean-eyes-turned-her-into-an-overnight-sensation &quot;How Billie Eilish's &quot;Ocean Eyes&quot; Turned Her Into an Overnight Sensation&quot;, ''Teen Vogue'' (24 February 2017)]

* '''Billie Eilish is a cultural phenomenon.''' The singer and her songwriter brother, [[w:Finneas O’Connell|Finneas O’Connell]], have created a debut body of work that transcends genres, reflecting the vast multi-artist listening habits of the music streaming generation — while at the same time tearing apart the notion of the album’s death in the age of the playlist. Oh, and she owned [[w:Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival|Coachella]] for fun, too.
** Murray Stassen, in [https://www.musicbusinessworldwide.com/behind-billie-eilish-meet-the-managers-guiding-the-artists-global-success/ &quot;Behind Billie Eilish: Meet the managers guiding the artist’s global success&quot;, ''Music Business Woldwide'' (2 May 2019)]

* '''Eilish has a disarmingly intimate, unadorned vocal style born of a two-pronged education''': a member of the soft brigade of Gen Zers who grew up posting bedroom karaoke videos on YouTube, she also learned technique in the Los Angeles Children's Chorus, where blending matters more than belting.
** Ann Powers, in [https://www.npr.org/2019/12/10/786451710/billie-eilish-is-the-class-of-2019s-weird-achiever?t=1589400339402 &quot;Billie Eilish Is The Class of 2019's Weird Achiever&quot;, ''National Public Radio'' (10 December 2019)]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://www.billieeilish.com/ Official site]
* [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiGm_E4ZwYSHV3bcW1pnSeQ/videos?view=0&amp;sort=dd&amp;shelf_id=0 Official YouTube channel videos]
* [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8483808/ Profile at ''IMDb'']
* [https://www.discogs.com/artist/5590213 Discography at ''Discogs'']
* [https://www.azlyrics.com/b/billieeilish.html Billie Eilish lyrics at ''AZLyrics'']
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpx2-EMfdbg &quot;Billie Eilish and Finneas Break Down Her Hit Song 'Bad Guy'&quot;, ''Rolling Stone'' interview (16 December 2019)]
* [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Billie+Eilish &quot;Billie Eilish&quot; search on ''YouTube'']
* [https://genius.com/artists/Billie-eilish Billie Eilish lyrics at ''Genius'']

{{DEFAULTSORT:Eilish, Billie}} 
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:2001 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:Veganism activists]]
[[Category:Activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Vegetarians]]
[[Category:American women]]
[[Category:People from Los Angeles]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]
[[Category:Women born in the 21st century]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Angelina Ballerina (TV series)</title>
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'''''[[w:Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]''''' is a British animated children's television series, based on the ''[[w:Angelina Ballerina|Angelina Ballerina]]'' series of children's books by author [[w:Katharine Holabird|Katharine Holabird]] and illustrator [[w:Helen Craig|Helen Craig]]. The series is about Angelina Mouseling, a young mouse who loves to dance ballet, and her family and classmates. [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] performed the voice of Angelina, and her real-life mother [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] performed the voice of Miss Lilly, her old ballet teacher.

==Series 1 (2001-2002)==

===Angelina at the Fair / The Ballet Tickets [1.3]===
:'''Angelina''': Just think, Alice, in exactly one hour, ''[takes her ballet shoes off]'' you and I will be riding on the fastest, scariest roller coaster ride in all of Mouseland!
:'''Alice''': ''[eagerly; while trying to take her ballet shoes off]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A HUNDRED LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[anticipated]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A THOUSAND LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Alice''': ''[laughs]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A MILLION LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[They both laugh until Angelina notices Alice's ballet shoes are all tangled up]''
:'''Angelina''': Alice, I think you've got a bit loopy yourself.
:'''Alice''': Oops!
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William, as she gives him her bag]'' Here, William, hold this, will you?
:'''Alice''': ''[to William, as she also giving him her bag]'' And this?
:'''Angelina''': Here, let me. ''[unties Alice's ballet shoes]''
:''[Alice places her ballet shoes in her bag as she follows Angelina]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' Hurry up, William! Or we'll be late for the fair!
:''[William grunts as he straightens the bags on his shoulders and follows along]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are waiting in line to go on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Henry''': ''[gasps; then to Angelina about the Ferris wheel]'' But I told you, I don't like big wheels.
:'''Angelina''': Oh, don't worry, Henry. They're not at all scary.
:'''William''': Of course they're not.
:'''Alice''': ''[while eating a candy apple]'' In fact, it's just like riding a bicycle.
:'''Henry''': But I can't ride a bicycle.
:'''Angelina''': Trust me, Henry, you're going to love it!
:''[Later, the scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are riding on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[eagerly]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OH HENRY, ISN'T THIS FUN?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Henry''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I WANT TO GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina groans in frustration]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice and William are riding on the Loop the Loop roller coaster as it goes up the hill and then zooms down the track as they both laugh and scream at the same time until it comes to a stop and the attendant walks over to them]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the attendant]'' Can we go again?
:'''Alice and Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''PLEASE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Priscilla and Penelope --who bought the last tickets for &quot;The Ballet&quot;-- are seen getting on the bus, humming, as they walk by Angelina and Alice]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' I can't believe those horrible twins got the very last tickets!
:'''Priscilla''': ''[mockingly]'' Oh, poor Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Somebody should buy her an alarm clock.
:''[Priscilla and Penelope both start laughing]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated]'' Those tickets should be ours, Alice. We have to find some way to get them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Penelope''': ''[smirking]'' Forget it, Angelina! We are not going to trade our tickets for anything! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[When Angelina and Alice arrived at the Theatre Royal, they're both walking up the steps while Angelina carries her suitcase. They both also try a first attempt to see the ballet]''
:'''Alice''': I still don't see why Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev would give us tickets.
:'''Angelina''': Because we're Miss Lilly's star pupils, of course.
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; sadly]'' I'm not a star pupil.
:''[Angelina enters the Theatre Royal and looks around with Alice following her behind, they quietly walk over to the door. Angelina and Alice try to sneak into the theater, but the ticket vendor catches them. He sees them and wants to know where they're going]''
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen; to Angelina and Alice]'' And where do you think you're going?
:''[Angelina and Alice nervously chuckle and walk away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice try a second attempt to see the ballet. They both try by dressing up as Ms. Lilly. The ticket vendor sees this, clears his throat, and again wants to know where Angelina and Alice are going]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the ticket vendor; in a heavy accent]'' I am Ms. Lilly. I have come to see my friends, Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev.
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[knows that Angelina and Alice are trying to trick him]'' I see.
:''[Angelina and Alice continue giggling until they trip over and her velvet cloak rips. But in another attempt to see the ballet, they both try to trick the ticket vendor that they are Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev by dressing up in a costume as them from the ballet]''
:'''Angelina and Alice''': ''[groaning in disappointment]'' Oh!
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen]'' Well...! ''[chuckles]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, come here. ''[hugs Angelina]'' You tried your best. 
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Next time (if any other show has no tickets left), I'm going to camp outside the theater all night!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Yes, darling. Of course you are.
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Maybe all week if I have to!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I know. ''[hugs Angelina again]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[cheerfully]'' Hello!
:'''Angelina''': ''[depressed; in between sobs]'' Hello, Dad...!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[sits down at the table next to Angelina]'' What's the sad face for?
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' The ballet's on tonight and I'm not going. There are no tickets left.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[pulls out the tickets from his coat pocket]'' Are you sure? Not even one?
:''[Although Angelina --at first-- thought her &quot;plan&quot; had been cancelled, it turns out that Mr. Mouseling had bought the tickets earlier and forgot to give them to Angelina and her friend Alice before the Pinkpaws twins bought the last tickets.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, as she sees the tickets]'' But, but, but...! ''[enthusiastically, as she hugs her father]'' Oh!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles, as he hugs her back]'' Best close tonight, I think. I've got a job for you to do later.
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' Oh, but my velvet cloak's torn.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Not anymore.
:''[Angelina gasps as she sees her velvet cloak all fixed and sewed]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[happily]'' Oh, thanks, Mom!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling puts the velvet cloak on Angelina and twirls around]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'll phone Alice's mother and tell them you're on your way.

===Midnight Muddle / Miss Lilly is Leaving [1.4]===
:''[That night, Angelina and Alice are seen inside their tent]''
:'''Angelina''': And then, just as Old Red Whiskers thought he was safe, a great big tabby-cat leapt out and whipped off his tail!
:''[Alice gets scared and covers herself up with a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': And ever since that terrible night, Old Red Whiskers stalks these gardens in search of fresh cheese and his missing tail...
:''[Alice whimpers too much and hides inside a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice. It's just a story, there's no such thing as ghosts. ''[suddenly hears ghostly sounds outside]''
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; fearfully]'' &lt;big&gt;'''THEN WHAT'S MAKING THAT NOISE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[suspiciously]'' I don't know. ''[grabs the lantern, as she still continues to hear ghostly sounds]'' But I'm going to find out.
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gets out of her sleeping bag and runs after Angelina]'' &lt;big&gt;'''WAIT FOR ME!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice come out from their tent as Alice whimpers. Angelina walks over and peeks over the garden shed]''
:'''Angelina''': There's nothing there.
:''[Alice squeals fearfully and gets Angelina's attention]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[jumps up; to Alice]'' What now, Alice?
:''[Alice points to the shadow on the ground as Angelina notices and walks over to the garden fork with a hat on top that's making the shadow]''
:'''Angelina''': It's only a garden fork. You're such a scaredy-mouse! ''[hears a ghostly wail in the distance]'' He's next door.
:'''Alice''': You can't go in there. Remember what Mrs. Hodgepodge said.
:'''Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH, ALICE! JUST STAY HERE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Alice whimpers as Angelina walks off to Mrs. Hodgepodge's garden while hearing the ghostly wails in the distance until she walks backwards into a white sheet]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HELP! GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''LEAVE ME ALONE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina gets the white sheet off and falls on the ground, next to Mrs. Hodgepodge's cauliflower and she steps on it by accident while running. Alice sees Angelina running towards her and they both scream and crash into each other and grunt, they both run off, screaming, as the camera zooms into the lantern that Angelina left, turning off by itself]''

===Miss Lilly Comes to Dinner / Lucky Penny [1.5]===
:''[At Miss Lilly's dance studio, the mouselings are dancing at the barre]''
:'''Angelina''': And Mom's made a cheese pie!
:'''Alice''': What are you going to wear tonight?
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' Good morning, sorry I'm a little late, ''[opens the doors]'' my darlings. I had such a wonderful evening at the Theatre Royal! ''[walks over to Flora]'' Hey, come along, Flora. Pay attention to your position, dear. ''[walks by the mouselings]'' It is a charity gala to raise money for Dacovia, my beautiful homeland. ''[to William]'' Oh, good. Tighten the leg, William. ''[to the mouselings]'' It brought back so many, many memories. ''[turns to Priscilla]'' Excellent, Priscilla. Keep the knee out.
:''[The phone rings in the background]''
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[walks away from the mouselings]'' Keep going, darlings! Keep going!

===Two Mice In A Boat / The Costume Ball [1.7]===
:'''Angelina''': Please, Mom? I know everyone going! Miss Lilly, Mr. and Mrs. Nimbletoes and you know I love dancing! I can dance as well as anybody!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, honestly...
:'''Angelina''': Oh! That's it! If you're going as a queen, and Dad's going as a king, it makes sense that I go as a princess!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs]''
:'''Angelina''': After all, what's a king and queen without their princess? I promise to be good, I won't spill anything. You won't even know I'm there. ''[begging]'' Please?
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[sighs]'' I'm sorry, Angelina. The costume ball is for grownups only, not little mouselings.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, agitated]'' But, Mom, I grew heaps last year!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[firmly]'' Angelina, I said no.
:'''Angelina''': ''[stammers angrily, as she drops the basket]'' Oh, it's, it's not fair! ''[runs into the house]'' It's just not fair!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, ''[calling]'' why don't you call Alice? She could come over and stay the night!
:''[The sound of the door is heard shut off-screen. Mrs. Mouseling then shakes her head]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Mom! Not Mrs. Hodgepodge! Last time she stayed, she kept me awake all night with her horrible snoring!
:'''Alice''': I hope she doesn't bring her cabbage jelly.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs as Mr. Mouseling grunts and he is seen dressed up as a bumblebee]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[to Mrs. Mouseling]'' Um, could you give me a hand with my antenna, dear? I-It won't stand up straight. Uh, mmm, ''[turns to Angelina and Alice and then to Mrs. Mouseling]'' a bit of a mix up at the costume shop.
:''[Angelina and Alice both giggle as Mrs. Mouseling laughs and approaches over to him]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Never mind. I can be your queen bee.
:''[Angelina and Alice both laugh again]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Queen bee, yes, very good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Come on, Alice.
:'''Alice''': Come on, where?
:'''Angelina''': To the costume ball, of course.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ANGELINA...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Nimbletoes and Mrs. Nimbletoes''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ALICE...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': ''[furiously]'' There they are, those, those naughty little runaways!
:''[Angelina starts to cry as she and Alice stare at each other, knowing they've been busted. The next morning, Angelina is seen scrubbing the floor while Alice mops the floor as a punishment]''
:'''Alice''': My back is aching! ''[sighs]'' Oh, this is such hard work!
:'''Angelina''': ''[sighs]'' I'm so tired! Perhaps going to the ball wasn't such a good idea.

===Angelina's Surprise / The Rose Fairy Princess [1.10]===
:'''Miss Lilly''': One, two, three, two, two, Angelina, two, three. Two, two, three...
:''[The mouselings continue dancing until Priscilla and Penelope leap past Angelina and she spins around as she exclaims while trying to keep her balance. Alice twirls her way around]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[agitated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' Those twins are too much.
:'''Alice''': ''[straightens Angelina's pink tutu]'' Don't worry, Angelina. You'll be the best rose fairy princess in all of Mouseland.
:'''Angelina''': ''[smiling; to Alice]'' Thanks.
:''[Angelina and Alice hug, the camera zooms into Angelina's untied ballet shoe]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[noticing Angelina's ballet shoe is untied]'' Oh, you're...!
:'''Penelope''': ''[covering Priscilla's mouth]'' &lt;big&gt;'''SHHHH!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' And again!
:''[Angelina twirls around until she suddenly trips on her untied ballet shoe, topples down to the floor and groans in pain just as Priscilla and Penelope walk over to her]''
:'''Priscilla''': Never mind, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': After all, you can always join the chorus of dancing flowers.

===Alice's Present / No Match for Angelina [1.11]===
:''[Angelina and Alice are seen sitting next to each other on the bench when Angelina opens up a present, revealing a bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice! It's beautiful!
:'''Alice''': I-I made it myself. You can put all your gym things in it.
:'''Angelina''': Thank you! ''[hugs her]'' Thank you!
:'''Priscilla''': Oh, I didn't know it was your birthday, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Oh-no, and we forgot to buy you a present.
:'''Angelina''': It's not my birthday.
:'''Alice''': Best friends can give each other presents anytime.
:'''Angelina''': ''[puts her bag down on the bench]'' Come on, Alice, it's time for gym!
:'''Mouselings''': ''[chattering, as they follow Angelina and Alice]'' It's time for gym!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees that Henry is playing with the hose]'' What are you doing, Henry?! ''[walks angrily to Henry]'' Henry! ''[taking the hose from Henry]''
:'''Henry''': Sorry.
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily; to William]'' You see William, I don't need friends like... ''[aiming the hose at Alice which water was hitting her again]'' ...Alice!

===The Gymnastics Championship / Angelina's Baby Sister [1.13]===
:''[Angelina comes back home and enters her mother's room]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees Polly for the first time]'' Let me see her! ''[sees Polly wrapped up in a blanket]'' Oh, she's so beautiful! Oh, look at her tiny toes! I can't wait to bring her to ballet lessons and I can take her to school and she can even share my bedroom.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Well, maybe not quite yet.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles]'' We're calling her Polly.
:'''Angelina''': Polly? Oh, that's just perfect for her!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Alice and her mother, Mrs. Nimbletoes arrives at Angelina's house]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, hello! How's the baby?
:'''Angelina''': She's crying.
:'''Mrs. Nimbletoes''': Come on, girls, we're going to be late.
:'''Angelina''': But Mom and Dad are taking me. ''[to Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling]'' Aren't you?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Ah, yes, um, Angelina, I was meaning to tell you your mother is very tired. I need to look after her.
:'''Angelina''': But it's the end of year's show. You always come!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'm sorry, darling, but... ''[gently pats Polly's back]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': I'll try to get there later for the prize-giving.
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs in frustration]'' Bother!
:'''Alice''': Aren't you happy?
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Yes, but ''why'' did the baby have to come today?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Alice''': How's Polly?
:'''William''': Is she walking yet? Can she say her name?
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs]'' She can't do anything except cry. She kept me awake all night. ''[falls off the bench]''
:'''Alice''': Isn't that what babies always do? ''[giggles]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, I'm starving. Dad burnt everything this morning, except the plate.
:''[Angelina opens her lunch box and gasps when she sees Polly's baby bottle in it, then she scoffs]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily]'' That's it, I've had enough! ''[storms off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Polly rolls over as the prize starts rolling over on the bed when it suddenly falls off and lands on the floor with a crash]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' What was that?
:''[Polly cries as Angelina walks over to the other side of the bed and Polly starts rolling over again]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[horrified]'' Oh, Polly! How could you?!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling opens the door and sees Polly is about to fall and successfully catches her on time before she hit the floor]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[scolding Angelina]'' '''I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER!''' She nearly fell off the bed!
:'''Angelina''': ''[tearfully, holds her broken prize]'' She broke my prize!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[while trying to calm Polly down]'' There, there, it's alright, Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[starts crying]'' You just don't care about me anymore, do you? It's all Polly, Polly, Polly!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[In the living room, Mrs. Mouseling is seen rocking Polly to sleep, humming silently while Mr. Mouseling reads the newspaper]''
:'''Grandma and Grandpa''': ''[off-screen, in unison]'' We're here! ''[they enter the living room]''
:'''Angelina''': And Miss Lilly gave it to me for being the most promising dancer of the year.
:'''Grandpa''': Where is she?
:'''Angelina''': In the suitcase. I'll get her out where you can glue her back together.
:'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' No, I meant where's Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[furiously]'' '''OH! POLLY, POLLY, POLLY!! I'M SICK OF POLLY!!!''' ''[runs upstairs]''
:'''Mr. and Mrs. Mouseling''': Shhhhh!
:''[Angelina storms up to her room and closes the door, sobbing in frustration]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[lamenting]'' I've changed my mind! I don't want a sister! If there was a baby shop, I'd ask for my money back! ''[continues weeping]''
:''[As everyone continues to adore Polly, the sound of crashing is heard upstairs]''
:'''Grandma''': Whatever is going on?
:''[Polly awakens and starts crying. At the same time, Angelina throws a book and picks up a small green bear and then throws it]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[shrieking]'' Rrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhh!!!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, dear...
:''[Mrs. Mouseling comes into Angelina's room and finds Angelina weeping so hard on her bed]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Angelina! What's the matter?
:'''Angelina''': ''[sobbing, face buried in her pillow]'' You don't care about me anymore.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Aww, of course I do! ''[Sits on her bed]'' I love you just as much as ever.
:'''Angelina''': ''[yet weeping, face buried in her pillow]'' No, you don't. All you blame about is Polly.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Oh, but that's not true. I love both of you.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling consoles Angelina from her meltdown]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[soothingly]'' Oh, there, there. I know it's been hard. You'll always be special to me, Angelina. You were my very first baby.

==Series 2 (2003)==

===The Old Oak Tree / Lights, Camera, Action! [2.2]===
:'''Angelina''': ''[dreamily]'' Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to be in a movie? Angelina Mouseling: Famous star and prima ballerina! Oh, I can see my name in lights!
:'''Alice''': ''[sees a sign]'' Hey, look at this, Angelina!
:'''William''': ''[reading the sign]'' &quot;Calling all young movie makers! Enter our competition and your movie could be shown at this year's Film Festival!&quot;!
:'''Alice''': Oh, I'd love to be in a movie!
:'''Angelina''': You will be, Alice! We'll enter the competition! I'll play this beautiful, young ballerina who, who breaks her tail and is told she'll never dance again. But, she overcomes her injury.
:'''Angelina, Alice and William''': And becomes the greatest dancer ever!
:'''Angelina''': ''[ecstatically]'' Yes!
:''[Henry giggles]''
:'''Alice''': But, Angelina-
:'''Angelina''': I, oh, I mean, we could make the best movie that Mouseland's ever seen! We're bound to win!
:'''Alice''': There's just one problem, we haven't got a camera.
:'''Henry''': Dr. Tuttle's got one.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' You're right, Henry! He has! Come on! We're going to make a movie! ''[dances out of the theater]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to the cedar tree where Angelina is seen trying to put on her ballet costume]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[struggles]'' Henry? Where's Henry?
:'''Alice''': Angelina, Thomasina Tuttle was a poor farmer's daughter and I'm sure she didn't do the dirty farm work, wearing a tutu.
:'''Angelina''': ''[optimistically]'' Oh, don't worry, Alice! I've no intention of getting dirty. How are you doing with the props?
:'''Alice''': Well, I've got the rope and the broom. Now all we need is a tree stump.
:'''Henry''': ''[pointing, while carrying the camera]'' There's one! There's one!
:'''Alice''': And something to be the big hole.
:'''Angelina''': ''[putting her ballet shoes on]'' What big hole?
:'''Alice''': The one Thomasina fell down! ''[reading]'' &quot;She laid there for ages until she-&quot;
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' Alice, I'm not spending the whole movie stuck in a dirty, old hole. ''[takes her crown out from her bag]''
:'''Alice''': But that's what happens in the true-
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' We'll do my story about the young ballerina who breaks her tail. Sad stories are always the best. Trust me, Alice. ''[puts her royal cape on]'' Do it my way and we'll have the audience in tears!
:'''Alice''': ''[off-screen]'' You bet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[after William saves Angelina who was trapped in a big hole]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' I had no idea you were so brave, William!
:'''William''': Nor did I!
:'''Henry''': Oh!
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[arrives at the scene]'' Is this my scene?
:'''Alice''': ''[calling]'' Over here, doctor! Quick!
:''[Dr. Tuttle runs over to Angelina]''
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[dramatically]'' Oh, my dear, Thomasina! Your poor arm! You must be in such pain!
:'''Angelina''': ''[painfully]'' It's Angelina, Dr. Tuttle, and it's my leg. ''[sobs]'' Ow!

===The Silver Locket / Mouse of the Year [2.4]===
:''[Angelina got on her dress, looking at her reflection in the mirror with Alice in her dress on was shown holding a necklace]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Oh. Polly's always a nuisance. ''[sees Alice with her necklace in the mirror then turns around in surprise]'' Oh, Alice. You've got a new necklace.
:'''Alice''': ''[giggles]'' Mom and Dad gave it to me.
:'''Angelina''': ''[in surprise]'' Oh! ''[gasps]'' My mom's got some sparkly necklaces. I'll see if I can borrow one! ''[runs out of her bedroom]''
:''[Alice tests her new necklace out]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[enters her parents' bedroom]'' Um, Mom, can I borrow a necklace for the party?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Matilda! I'm going to be late for work!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gasps; calling]'' Coming! ''[to Angelina]'' Don't forget to give Polly her bottle. ''[leaves the bedroom]'' Now have a lovely time!
:''[Angelina sighs then goes to her mom's necklace box and takes out her mom's locket]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[At Miss Lilly's party, Ms. Quaver is playing the piano, while everyone is seen chatting away, having a fun time]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[sees the silver locket around Angelina's neck]'' Our mother has a much prettier locket than that.
:'''Penelope''': Her's is bigger and it has a diamond in the middle.
:'''Angelina''': Well, this one is very old and very precious. ''[to Alice]'' Come on, Alice. Let's dance.
:''[They both start dancing as Priscilla and Penelope look on in jealously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As the party ends, Miss Lilly is seen waving and saying goodbye to everyone as they leave, Angelina is seen strolling Polly in her stroller while Alice grabs one more treat from the snack table]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, oh, wait for me, Angelina!
:'''Miss Lilly''': Goodbye, darling. ''[gives Polly a kiss]''
:'''Angelina''': Thank you for a lovely party, Miss Lilly.
:'''Miss Lilly''': A pleasure, Angelina. So nice to have little Polly here too.
:''[Polly giggles happily]''
:'''Alice''': Thank you, Miss Lilly. ''[to Angelina]'' Oh, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': Hmm?
:'''Alice''': Where's your silver locket?
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps loudly, as she puts her hands on her neck]'' It's gone! Oh-no!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] as Angelina Mouseling, Aunt Lavender and Mrs. Hodgepodge
* [[w:Jo Wyatt|Jo Wyatt]] as Alice Nimbletoes, Penelope Pinkpaws, Sammy Watts and Henry Mouseling
* [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] as Miss Lilly
* [[w:Keith Wickham|Keith Wickham]] as William Longtail, Mr. Longtail, Mr. Mouseling, Grandpa Jeffrey and Dr. Tuttle
* Jonell Elliott as Priscilla Pinkpaws and Mrs. Mouseling
* [[w:Adrienne Posta|Adrienne Posta]] as Grandma Sophia
* [[w:Rob Rackstraw|Rob Rackstraw]] as Uncle Louis
* [[w:Derek Jacobi|Derek Jacobi]] as Mr. Operatski
* [[w:David Holt (voice actor)|David Holt]] as Mitchell Rodentia/Narrator (only on the audiobooks)
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] as Mitchell Rodentia/Narrator

==See also==
* ''[[Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:TVOntario shows]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adapter</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by UDScott</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="558" xml:space="preserve">An '''[[w:Adapter|adapter]]''' is a device that converts attributes of one device or system to those of an otherwise incompatible device or system. Some modify power or signal attributes, while others merely adapt the physical form of one connector to another.
{{Stub}}
==Quotes==
*Adapt to this, but you need no adapter, this is just the first chapter.
**[[w:RBX|Eric D. Collins]], [https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/drdre/highpowered.html &quot;High Powered&quot;] (1992), ''The Chronic'', Death Row Records
==External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
[[Category:Themes]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sonic the Hedgehog (film)</title>
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      <text bytes="13591" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|Sonic the Hedgehog]]''''' is a 2020 American fantasy-adventure-comedy film based on the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|video game franchise]] published by Sega. The film is distributed by Paramount Pictures. It also stars {{w|James Marsden}}, [[Jim Carrey]] and {{w|Ben Schwartz}} as the voice of Sonic. In the movie, the blue hedgehog himself teams up with a [[w:Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit video game)|Green Hills]] sheriff to find his lost rings and escape Robotnik.

:''Directed by {{w|Jeff Fowler}}. Produced by {{w|Neal H. Moritz}}, Toby Ascher, Toru Nakahara and Takeshi Ito. Written by [[w:Pat Casey (writer)|Pat Casey]] and [[w:Josh Miller (filmmaker)|Josh Miller]].''

{{center|'''Try to keep up''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

==Sonic the Hedgehog==
* So, I know what you're thinking. Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog being chased by a madman with a mustache from the Civil War? Well, to be honest, it feels like I've been running my whole life. Is this too much? Am I going too fast? It's kind of what I do. You know what? Let's back up.
* So what were you expecting, a dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive? Think again. Because I am living my best life on Earth. I've got a library... a home gym... and a &quot;state of the art&quot; security system.

==Dr. Robotnik==
* What's extraordinary is I've determined the exact height, weight, and spinal curvature of this creature, and my computer can't find a single match for it anywhere in Earth's animal kingdom. This blackout was not a terrorist attack, and that's no baby bigfoot. This guy... is something else... ''entirely.''
* My grasp on sanity remains... absolute. Isn't that right, Agent Stone? Why don't you get a head start?! Do some rock-connaissance! ''[laughs]'' ROCK-CONNAISSANCE! ''[to the mushrooms]'' Come on, that's hilarious! What's the matter with you?! ''[to himself]'' Here's the sitch: uninhabited planet, no resources, no supplies, no apparent way home... A lesser man would die here. I'll be home by Christmas. ROCK-CONNAISSANCE!!! ''[to the mushrooms]'' Come on! Cheer up!

==Tom Wachowski==
* And so, it is with a heavy heart that I tell you all that I've accepted a position at the San Francisco Police Department, effective immediately. It's gonna be tough to leave my hometown and all my friendships. But this is something I feel like I need to do to grow... as both an officer and a man.

==Maddie Wachowski==
*

==Crazy Carl==
*

==Wade Whipple==
*

==Rachel==
*

==Others==
*'''Stone:'''
*'''Tails:'''

== Dialogue ==
:'''Tom''': Okay, pal. I want answers. Who are you, ''what'' are you?
:'''Sonic''': I'm a hedgehog. I feel like that's obvious.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Robotnik''': Are you in charge here?
:'''Major Bennington''': Yes, I am.
:'''Robotnik''': Nope!
:'''Bennington''': My–
:'''Robotnik''': Wrong!
:'''Bennington''': Name–
:'''Robotnik''': I'm in charge!
:'''Bennington''': ''[getting frustrated at Robotnik's interruptions]'' Is Major–
:'''Robotnik''': Me!
:'''Bennington''': Ben–
:'''Robotnik''': ''[whispers]'' I'm in charge. You've never seen anything like this before. This says I'm the top banana, in a world full of hungry little monkeys. Allow me to clarify. ''[makes zipping noise]'' In a sequentially-ranked hierarchy, based on level of critical importance, the disparity between us is too vast to quantify. Agent Stone?
:'''Agent Stone''': The doctor thinks you're basic.
:'''Robotnik''': I'm initiating a sweep sequence. Ten miles in every direction should suffice. ''[glances back]'' Is he still looking at me funny?
:'''Stone''': Yes, he is.
:'''Robotnik''': Tell him to stop, or I'll pull up his search history.
:'''Stone''': If you don't stop looking at the Doctor, he'll take a closer look at–
:'''Bennington''': I'm not deaf.
:'''Robotnik''': And tell him his men report to me now. Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah.
:'''Bennington''': Excuse me? Listen, pal. I don't know if you realize–
:'''Robotnik''': I'm sorry, Major. What was your name?
:'''Bennington''': Benning–
:'''Robotnik''': ''[loudly]'' Nobody cares! ''[mockingly sad]'' Nobody cares. Listen, Major Nobody-Cares, you know why nobody cares who you are? Because nobody cares about your feeble accomplishments. Nobody cares how proud your Mommy is that you're now reading at a 3rd-grade level. Have you finished [[w:Charlotte's Web|Charlotte's Web]] yet? Spoiler alert – she dies in the end, but she leaves a big creepy egg-sac.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robotnik''': Maybe someday, you'll achieve your goals, get yourself a CostCo car or adopt a Labrador, but the reality is, I surpassed EVERYTHING YOU ARE EVER GOING TO DO... before I was a toddler! I was spitting out formulas while you were spitting up formula!
:'''Tom Wachowski''': I was breastfed, actually.
:'''Robotnik''': Nice, rub that in my orphan face.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robotnik:''' ''[to Tom, finding one of Sonic's quills]'' Look at that. I was right. Note the lack of surprise. Shall we try this again? ''[whistles Flight of the Valkyries as one of his egg drones sneaks into the house and aims its guns at Tom]'' I'm going to give you 5 ''seconds'' to tell me where it is. 5...
:'''Tom''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Robotnik:''' 4...
:'''Tom:''' Hey, tough guy. ''[shows his badge]'' I'm a cop. You're threatening an officer.
:'''Robotnik:''' How can you threaten someone who never existed? 3... '''&lt;big&gt;COME ON, WRACK YOUR BRAIN!&lt;/big&gt;''' You might be able to come up with some lame excuse to go on living... in 2… 1!
:'''Sonic:''' ''[speeds out of his hiding place]'' Wait! Don't hurt him!
:''[Robotnik screams out in surprise. Taking advantage of his distraction, Tom decks him and the doctor falls onto the floor.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Sonic disables Robotnik's vehicle]''
:'''Sonic''': Sonic 1, big tank 0! I'm sorry, did we get that on camera?
:'''Tom''': How are you not dead?
:'''Sonic''': I have no idea! Do you see me dancing?
:'''Tom''': Yes, I saw you dance.
:'''Sonic''': ''[To the camera on the disabled vehicle]''Is that all you got?
:'''Robotnik''': No, but thank you for asking. ''[A smaller vehicle deploys from the initial destroyed vehicle]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Robotnik screams at Stone's sudden appearance]''
:'''Stone''': I just thought you might like a latte with steamed Austrian goat milk.
:'''Robotnik''': What do I look like, an imbecile? Of course, I want a latte. I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE THEM!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': ''[runs west, and after a couple of seconds, comes back, wet, with seaweeds on him, and a fish on his head]'' So, as I crashed into the cold dark water of the Pacific, I realized a few things. A; I have no idea where I'm going. B; saltwater stings. C; I shouldn't even be on this planet right now, but I am! Why? Because you ''shot'' me!
:'''Tom''': I know.
:'''Sonic''': YOU SHOT ME!
:'''Tom''': I heard you the first time, you don't have to... pile it on. Good grief.
:'''Sonic''': [[Dumb and Dumber|I'm ''wet'', I'm ''cold'', there's a ''fish on my head''!]] And clearly, I'm not going to be able to do this on my own!
:'''Tom''': ''[looks at Sonic, the fish slowly sliding off his head]'' Alright, get in the truck.
:'''Sonic''': Really? ''[shakes the water and seaweed off of him, causing his fur to poof up]'' You're gonna help me?
:'''Tom''': I guess it is a little bit of my fault that all of this is happening to you.
:'''Sonic''': Not a little bit, entirely. It is ''entirely'' your fault.
:'''Tom''': Okay, it's ''entirely'' my fault. Are you coming?
:'''Sonic''': Yes. ''[shakes his body again, straightening his fur, goes back in Tom's truck]'' Road trip! Wahoo!
:'''Tom''': ''[sighs]'' What am I doing?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maddie''': ''[regarding Sonic]'' It talks.
:'''Tom''': Almost constantly.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robotnik''': ''[facing Sonic, Tom and Maddie with his hovercraft and drones at the Transamerica Pyramid]'' Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski. Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
:'''Tom''': It's the government whack-job who keeps trying to kill us – UNSUCCESSFULLY! Nice of you to swing by on your way to Comic-Con.
:'''Maddie''': Yeah, what are you wearing?
:'''Robotnik''': It's a flight suit! Designed to modulate my body temperature and reduce drag!
:'''Tom''': Yeah, and yet you still are one.
:'''Robotnik''': Ooh, good one! You are catching fire, Thomas! Oh, and speaking of heat, I see you brought a lover. Does she have a name, or should we just call her &quot;collateral damage&quot;?
:'''Tom''': Hey, watch your mouth unless you want a little more of what I gave you earlier! ''[to Maddie]'' I punched him in the face.
:'''Sonic''': Oh, you punched him right in the face, man, it was awesome!
:'''Robotnik''': The time for talking is over! It's time to push buttons!
:'''Sonic''': Your flying eggs are pretty impressive, [[Sonic Boom (TV series)#Mr. Eggman|Mr. Eggman]], but let's face it. You'll never catch me.
:'''Robotnik''': Confidence! A fool's substitute for intelligence. ''[his drones power up, their weapons pointed at Sonic, Tom, and Maddie]''
:'''Sonic''': That's not good.
:'''Tom''': Uhh, Sonic? I know you've got the super-speed and everything, but Maddie and I?
:'''Sonic''': Totally defenseless, probably going to get blown up?
:'''Maddie''': Pretty much, yeah.
:'''Sonic''': Don't worry, I know ''exactly'' what to do.
:''[Speeds behind Tom and Maddie... and shoves them off the building. Robotnik looks over the side in surprise, then back to Sonic]''
:'''Robotnik''': I was not expecting that… but I was expecting to not expect something, so it doesn't count.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': ''[pursued into Paris by Robotnik]'' Coming through!
:'''Mime artist''': ''Sacre bleu!'' ''[ducks under Robotnik's hovercraft]''
:'''Robotnik''': ''Excusez-moi, monsieur!''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Robotnik has apparently killed Sonic, and Tom and Maddie look at his lifeless body]''
:'''Robotnik''': I don't mean to be indelicate here, but somebody should get some ice, keep the body fresh. He's just a silly little alien. He didn't belong here!
:'''Tom''': That &quot;little alien&quot; knew more about being human than you ever will. His name was Sonic, this was his home...and he was my friend.
:''[Sonic, at hearing those words, suddenly revives in a flash of blue electricity.]''
:'''Tom''': ''[to Sonic, referring to Robotnik]'' He's all yours. ''[he and Maddie back away]''
:'''Sonic''': ''[to Robotnik]'' I think you have something that belongs to me! ''[uses his electric powers to absorb the energy from the stolen quill Robotnik is using to power his hovercraft, facing down Robotnik]'' This is ''my'' power, and I'm not using it to run away anymore. I am using it to protect my friends!
:''[Robotnik puts on his googles as his hovercraft aims its red lights at Sonic, who then positions to run. Robotnik then presses a button to launch the missiles at Sonic, who dodges them and starts charging at the hovercraft multiple times, inflicting heavy damage in it]''
:'''Robotnik''': ''[grunts]'' Now you've done it!
:'''Sonic''': Guess what, Eggman - I'm not leaving Earth, ''you'' are! Donut Lord? ''[Tom picks a ring from Sonic's bag and tosses it behind Robotnik's hovercraft, opening a portal to the Mushroom Planet. Sonic and Robotnik charge at each other. The fight ends with Sonic combining his speed power with his rolling cannonball form to disintegrate Robotnik's damaged hovercraft, sending him and the hovercraft's remains to the portal]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

===Deleted and Extended Scenes===

:''['''Sonic's childhood''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Green Hills bar''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Rachel's house''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Wade and Rachel''']''

== Cast ==

===Vocies===
* '''{{w|Ben Schwartz}} — [[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog / The Blue Blur]]'''
** Benjamin L. Valic (young)

* ''Donna Jay Fulks — Longclaw''

* {{w|Colleen O'Shaughnessey}} — [[w:Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog)|Miles &quot;Tails&quot; Prower]]

===Live-action===
* '''[[Jim Carrey]] — [[w:Doctor Eggman|Dr. Robotnik / Eggman]]'''
* '''{{w|James Marsden}} — Thomas &quot;Tom&quot; Michael Wachowski / The Donut Lord'''
* '''''{{w|Tika Sumpter}} — Maddie Wachowski / Pretzel Lady'''''
* {{w|Natasha Rothwell}} — Rachel
* ''{{w|Adam Pally}} — Wade Whipple''
* {{w|Neal McDonough}} — Major Bennington
* '''''{{w|Lee Majdoub}} — Agent Stone'''''
* Melody Nosipho Niemann — Jojo
* '''''[[w:Tom Butler (actor)|Tom Butler]] — Commander Walters'''''
* {{w|Frank C. Turner}} — Crazy Carl

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2020 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Reboot films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films based on video games]]
[[Category:Animated films based on video games]]
[[Category:Animated films about robots]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]
[[Category:Films set in Montana]]
[[Category:Films set in San Francisco]]
[[Category:Films based on Sonic the Hedgehog]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Pokémon/Season 22</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:29:21Z</timestamp>
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        <ip>2A00:23C7:A703:F801:A0D8:BA4C:27B1:C194</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Memories in the Mist! */</comment>
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      <text bytes="11281" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]] [[Pokémon|Main]]
----
&lt;br/&gt;
This is a list of episodes in Pokémon: Sun and Moon, the twenty-second season of the Pokémon animated series (ポケットモンスター Poketto Monsutā?, Pocket Monsters), covering the adventures of series protagonist Ash Ketchum as he travels to Alola and meets new friends.

==Lillier and the Staff!==

==A Haunted House for Everyone!==

==Sparking Confusion!==

==Don't Ignore the Small Stufful!==

==No Stone Unturned!==

==Bright Lights, Big Changes!==

==We Know Where You're Going, Eevee!==

==Battling the Beast Within!==

==Parallel Friendships!==

==Alola, Alola!==
:'''Lana''': Attention, please! I'm happy to say that we have guests today!
:'''The rest of Lana's classmates and Pokemon''': Huh?
:''[As promised by the writers, Misty and Brock enter the classroom]''
:'''Both Misty and Brock''': Alola!
:'''Misty''': Long time, no see!
:'''Brock''': You look great!

==Heart of Fire! Heart of Stone!==

==That's Some Spicy Island Research!==

==Showdown on Poni Island!==

==Evolving Research!==

==Run, Heroes, Run!==

==Memories in the Mist!==
:''[Mallow has wound up in a misty landscape]''
:'''Mallow''': Huh?
:''[She turns round to see a shadow in the distance. The shadow turns out to be her late mother]''
:'''Mallow's Mother''': Hi.
:''[Mallow, having just seen her mother, starts running to her]''
:'''Mallow''': Mom. Mommy! (Hugs her mother)
:'''Tsarenna''': Tsareena. (Hugs Mallow's mother)
:'''Mallow's Mother''': Look how big you've grown. (Strokes Tsareena) And Bounsweet, you've evolved too.
:'''Tsarenna''': Tsar. Tsareena.
:''[Mallow begins to cry]''
:'''Mallow's Mother''': Mallow?
:'''Mallow''': (tearfully) I'm sorry, mum, for saying I hated you. I'm so sorry. (Her mother strokes her gently on the head)
:'''Mallow's Mother''': It's okay, Mallow. Here.
:'''Mallow''': (tearfully) But... but...
:'''Mallow's Mother''': It's my fault. I'm to blame for that. I'm so sorry.
:'''Mallow''': (tearfully) That's not true.
:'''Mallow's Mother''': You didn't do anything wrong, dear. Listen to me. (Mallow looks at her) You know what? Instead of saying &quot;I'm sorry&quot;, this is what I should have said. I should've said &quot;Thanks&quot;. I'm thanking you now, for coming into this world as my sweet little girl. (Nearby, a Gracidea flower blooms) And I thank you for bringing so much love and happiness to me, your father, and your brother too.
:''[Then, a second Gracidea flower blooms]''
:'''Mallow''': (tearfully) Mum?
:'''Mallow's Mother''': I thank you for raising Bounsweet so wonderfully.
:'''Tsarenna''': Tsareena. (As she recites her name, another Gracidea flower blooms)
:'''Mallow's Mother''': (to Mallow) And thank you, for nurturing the family restaurant with love. Thank you, dear, for growing up so good and compassionate and with such a loving heart. Thank you...
:'''Mallow''': (tearfully) Mom, stop. (Wipes from tears away from her eyes) Let me try it again.
:'''Mallow's Mother''': Huh?
:'''Mallow''': Just remember the apology I just gave, please. (Sniffles and smiles) Thank you, mom, so very much. For always being such a cheerful and kind mother. (A Gracidea flower blooms) And thank you for making such yummy meals for me everyday. (Another Gracidea flower blooms) Thank you for taking all those wonderful walks with me that I always loved so very much. (Another Gracidea flower blooms) And thank you, for catching Bounsweet just for me... (The camera cuts to Bounsweet) ...So I wouldn't have to ever be lonely.
:'''Mallow's Mother''': Mallow.
:'''Mallow''': Y'know What else? Thank you for bringing me into this world.
:''[Mallow and her mother are now standing in a field full of Gracidea flowers which are blooming beautifully]''

==A Grand Debut!==

==Keeping Your Eyes on the Ball!==

==Show Me the Metal!==

==Got Meltan?==

==This Magik Moment!==

==Beauty is Only Crystal Deep!==

==The Dealer of Destruction!==

==The Secret Princess!==

:'''Ash:''' That's the spirit!
:'''Pikachu:''' (excited) Pika!
:'''Mallow:''' (softly) Keep it down! Lillie needs to concentrate!
:'''Ash:''' Sorry about that.

==Drawn with the Wind!==

==Aiming for the Top Floor!==

==A High-Speed Awakening!==

==The One That Didn't Get Away!==

==A Recipe For Success!==

==Spying For The Big Guy!==

==A Fiery Training Camp Trick!==

==Living on the Cutting Edge!==
:'''Samson Oak''': And that also means &quot;You-cario&quot;!

==A Timeless Encounter!==

==Pikachu's Exciting Adventure!==

==Chasing Memories, Creating Dreams!==

==League Offenders and Defenders!==

==Battle Royale 151!==
:'''Hiroki''': Ready, everybody! I'll take you all on! 
:'''Mudbray''': Mudbray! [Bring it!]
:''[Three oncoming attacks hit the two knocking them out in the process]''
:'''Hiroki''': ''[weakly]'' I am...I am...a champion...or not. ''[That's what happens when you goad your opponents into attacking you]''
:'''Hala''': And Mudbray is unable to continue!

==Battling Besties!==

==The Battlefield of Truth and Love!==

==Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Strategy!==

==Battling on the Wing!==

==The Road to the Semi-Finals!==

==The Final Four!==

==Getting Down to the Ire!==

==The Wisdom Not To Run!==

==Final Rivals!==

==Enter the Champion!!==
:''[As Ash's Dusk Lycanroc catches its breath, Gladion's Midnight Lycanroc has fainted! You know what that means...]''
:'''Professor Kukui''': Lycanroc is unable to battle! So the winner is Ash! ''[HURRAY! YOU FINALLY WON AN OFFICIAL POKEMON LEAGUE! CONGRATULATIONS ASH!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash is staring in shock that he finally won a League, the crowd continues cheering him for his victory]''
:'''Gladion''': Time to wake up, my friend. 
:'''Ash''': Uh...what just happened?
:'''Gladion''': ''[helping Midnight Lycanroc back onto its feet]'' You won. Congratulations champion. ''[proceeds to shake Ash's hand]''
:'''Ash''': Thanks Gladion. Great battle.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the Team Rocket hideout, underneath the stadium]''
:'''Jessie''': ''[has a Malasada donut in her mouth and is horrified upon watching the results]'' You're kidding me! The twerp is champion?! And what about you, Mr. Fix-it?
:'''James''': ''[wrapping up his work on the Bewear mech]'' Once this piece is bolted in, we're off!

==Z-Move Showdown!==

==Exhibition Unmasked!==

==A Full Battle Bounty!==

==Fiery Surprises!==

==From Z to Shining Z!==

==Dreams of the Sun and Moon!==
:'''Olivia''': You know what? It sounds like you want to become a Kahuna, do you?
:'''Rotom Dex''': Are you saying your dream is to actually become a Kahuna?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Olivia''': Getting to know what the world is like is a very important step. You'll have a broader perspective once you expand your horizons. The truth is, it will allow you to look at yourself and find ways you can improve. Right, Ash? ''[Ash is confused at this wisdom]'' As someone who came all the way to Alola to train, you already know that, don't you?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': ''[after thinking about what Olivia said about travelling the world to improve his skills, as well as realizing that his Alola journey is drawing to a close]'' I've got it! I've decided I want to go out and see the world! ''[Rotom Dex is confused]'' Pikachu, what do you say we go home? ''[Pikachu eagerly jumps onto Ash's shoulder]'' The world has more awesome things for us to see. There are tons more Pokemon out there! ''[Pikachu eagerly agrees to head into another new adventure. Keep in mind that because Ash officially won a League and is an official Champion, having Ash compete in more region Leagues after that would have been seen not only as a repetitive and tiresome storyline but also as a permanent regression in Ash's skills as a trainer.]''

==Thank you Alola! The Journey Continues!==
:''[A depressed Mimikyu admits to Meowth that it tried to fight Pikachu but ended up seeing itself as a monster upon looking at its reflection in the ocean]''
:'''Meowth''': Being down on your looks won't do you any good. This may be a good time to stop pretending and accept yourself for who you really are.
:'''Mimikyu''': ''[makes garbled noises and cleans its disguise becoming happy again]'' [You're right! I should be a better Pokémon and accept for who I am!]

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As the Team Rocket Gang are ready to depart back to Kanto, they say goodbye to Bewear and hop into their balloon]''
:'''The gang''': ''[taking a bow]'' Thank you for your hospitality.
:''[Bewear walks over to them scaring the group]''
:'''Jessie''': DON'T BREAK US LIKE A WALNUT!
:'''James''': We're too young to get squished! ''[Fortunately, Bewear gives them a gentle hug]''
:'''Bewear''': Bewear. [I'll miss you guys.]
:'''The gang''': You like us!
:'''Jessie''': Okay, we hate to eat and run but...''[the rest of the gang joins in]''...later!
:'''Bewear''': Bewear. Bewear-wear. [Are you guys heading to Kanto?]
:'''Meowth''': Say, what? We're headed to Kanto? Yeah, but why are you asking?
:'''Bewear''': ''[grabs the balloon and hurls them into the sky like a hammer]'' Weeaarr!! Weeaarr!! [Hang on! Goodbye friends!]

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': There's one more thing. I guess I have to tell you something. I'm gonna go home to Pallet Town. You see, ever since Pikachu and I came to Alola, we've met you and tons of Pokémon. We've learned lots of things at the Pokémon School. Yeah, it's been really the best, but now, I think, I'm going back home for a while and then I'm going to check out some other places. That'll give me a new chance to meet more new people and tons of new Pokémon and have a lot of Pokémon battles and get stronger and stronger. Someday, I'll do what I set out to do...become a Pokémon Master!
:'''Kiawe''': ''[realizing that Ash has a new goal in life]'' You're not just talking about this vacation, you're really going...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[At the docks near the cruise ship, Lillie, Gladion and Lusamine are dressed up to start their journey of searching for Mohn. It's Ash's turn to bid the family farewell]''
:'''Ash''': See you later. Take care.
:'''Lillie''': Right, Ash. I...
:'''Gladion''': ''[steps forward to bid goodbye to Ash]'' Ash, the world seems big, but it's not. So, when we meet again...
:'''Ash''': What else? We'll have a battle! ''[both Ash and Gladion shake hands]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lillie''': ''[after a series of flashbacks, she runs to the stern of the cruise ship to give Ash a proper farewell]'' Ash, can you hear me?! You know what? I'm really happy I got to meet you! You helped me out so much! After meeting you, I was finally able to become friends with Pokémon. THANK YOU! ''[both Snowy and Megearna also bid farewell to him]''

[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Post Malone</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>227363</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154553</id>
      <parentid>3154508</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:46:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:2.51.65.112|2.51.65.112]] ([[User talk:2.51.65.112|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/2.51.65.112|contributions]]) to last version by 71.248.162.111</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="871" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Post Malone 2018.jpg|thumb|upright|right|Post Malone in 2018]]
'''[[w:Post Malone|Austin Richard Post]]''' (born [[July 4]], [[1995]]), known professionally as '''Post Malone''', is an American rapper, singer, songwriter and record producer.

==Quotes==
* Basically, my whole life is a competition with my dad to see who's cooler. He's still winning, but I'm almost there.
*: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un3vVJcadlQ From SoundCloud to Success with Post Malone: Noisey Raps], 2017

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia|Post Malone}}
* [https://www.azlyrics.com/p/postmalone.html Post Malone lyrics]

{{musician-stub}}

[[Category:Rappers from the United States]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Record producers from the United States]]
[[category:1995 births]]
[[category:Living people]]
[[category:People from New York (state)]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>Al-Tabari</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>227991</id>
    <revision>
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      <parentid>3044677</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:08:59Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
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      <comment>wikilinks, tweaks, some formatting and organization, add an image, move 1, remove a duplicated quote</comment>
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      <text bytes="8452" xml:space="preserve">[[File:الطبري.png|thumb|]It is better to [[live]] for just a single day as a [[ruler]] than to live for forty years as an abject [[slave]].]]
'''[[w:Al-Tabari|Abū Jaʿfar Muḥammad ibn Jarīr ibn Yazid al-Ṭabarī]]''' (/ˈtɑːbəri/; Persian: محمد بن جریر طبری‎, Arabic: أبو جعفر محمد بن جرير بن يزيد الطبري‎) (224–310 AH; 839–923 AD) was an influential Persian scholar, historian and exegete of the [[Qur'an]] from Amol, Tabaristan (modern Mazandaran Province of [[Iran]]), who composed all his works in Arabic. Today, he is most famous for his expertise in Qur'anic exegesis and Islamic jurisprudence but he has been described as &quot;an impressively prolific [[w:polymath|polymath]]. He wrote on such subjects as world history, poetry, lexicography, grammar, ethics, mathematics, and medicine.&quot; Al-Tabari's ''[[w:Madhhab|madhhab]]'' [school] flourished among Sunni ''[[w:ulama|ulama]]'' for two centuries after his death before it eventually became extinct. It was usually designated by the name ''[[w:Jariri|Jariri]]''.

==Quotes==
[[File:Persian version by Balami of Universal History by Tabari.jpg|thumb|I have not been ordered to [[fight]] you. I have only been ordered not to leave you until I bring you to [[w:Kufa|al-Kufah]].]]
 
*I have fabricated things against God and have imputed to Him words which He has not spoken. 
**The History of Al-Tabari, Volume VI, p. 111. ( al-Tabari's History of the Prophets and Kings)

*Nobody seeks my help with a petition or offers an excuse that is more pressing than he, reminding me of a favor I did him so that it would be followed by its sister (i.e, one like it) and so good would be done to its asker because withholding of later things removes gratitude for earlier ones.
** ''History of the Prophets and Kings'', Vol. 29, p. 257/258

* [...] It is better to live for just a single day as a [[ruler]] than to live for forty years as an abject [[slave]].
** Babak Khorramdin's letter to his son, rejecting the caliph’s amnesty message, quoted by [[w:Al-Tabari|Al-Tabari]], edited by C. E. Bosworth, [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ky2rl0xN2SQC&amp;pg=PA74&amp;lpg=PA74&amp;dq=%22Better+to+live+for+just+a+single+day+as+a+ruler+than+to+live+for+forty+years+as+an+abject+slave.%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=D6-WGySNBR&amp;sig=9MJm8qw6MeNgY1kPHEjtcxA_okY&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0CCoQ6AEwAmoVChMI2YO62Pb0xwIVjOwUCh2l8APi#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Better%20to%20live%20for%20just%20a%20single%20day%20as%20a%20ruler%20than%20to%20live%20for%20forty%20years%20as%20an%20abject%20slave.%22&amp;f=false ''History of al-Tabari Vol. 33, The: Storm and Stress along the Northern Frontiers of the 'Abbasid Caliphate: The Caliphate of al-Mu'tasim A.D. 833-842/A.H. 218-227'']

*By [[God]]! If any of the Arabs other than you were to say that to me, while he was in the same situation as you, I would not leave him without mentioning his mother's being deprived of him. I would say it whoever he might be. But, by [[God]], there is no way for me to mention your [[mother]] except by saying the best things possible.
**''Replied to [[Husayn ibn Ali]],  [[w:History of the Prophets and Kings|History of the Prophets and Kings]], Vol. 19, p. 95''

*I have not been ordered to [[fight]] you. I have only been ordered not to leave you until I bring you to [[w:Kufa|al-Kufah]]. If you refuse to do that, then take any road that will neither brng you into al-Kufah nor take you back to [[w:Medina|Madina]], and let that be a compromise between us; I shall write to [[w:Ubayd Allah ibn Ziyad|Ibn Ziyad]]. You write to [[w:Yazid I|Yazīd ibn Mu‘āwiya]] if you wish to write to him, or to [[w:Ubayd Allah ibn Ziyad|ʿUbayd Allāh ibn Ziyād]] if you wish. Perhaps [[God]] will cause something to happen that will relieve me from beingtroubled in any way by your affair. Therefore, take this road here and bear to the left of the road to al-ʿUdhayb and al-Qādīsiyyāh.
**''Replied to [[Husayn ibn Ali]],  [[w:History of the Prophets and Kings|History of the Prophets and Kings]]'', Vol. 19, p. 95

*When Muhammad saw Hamzah he said, ‘If Allah gives me victory over the Quraysh at any time, I shall mutilate thirty of their men!’ When the Muslims saw the rage of the Prophet they said, ‘By Allah, if we are victorious over them, we shall mutilate them in a way which no Arab has ever mutilated anybody.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 7, p. 133, See Also Ishaq:387

*Muhammad carried arms, helmets, and spears. He led a hundred horses, appointing Bahir to be in charge of the weapons and Maslamah to be in charge of the horses. When the Quraysh received word of this, it frightened them.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 8, p. 138

*After the Messenger had finished with the Khaybar Jews, Allah cast terror into the hearts of the Jews in Fadak when they received news of what Allah had brought upon Khaybar. Fadak became the exclusive property of Allah’s Messenger.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 8, p. 129

*A raiding party led by Zayd set out against Umm in Ramadan. During it, Umm suffered a cruel death. Zyad tied her legs with rope and then tied her between two camels until they split her in two. She was a very old woman. Then they brought Umm’s daughter and Abdallah to the Messenger. Umm’s daughter belonged to Salamah who had captured her. Muhammad asked Salamah for her, and Salamah gave her to him.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 8, p. 96

*The Prophet gave orders concerning Kinanah to Zubayr, saying, ‘Torture him until you root out and extract what he has. So Zubayr kindled a fire on Kinanah’s chest, twirling it with his firestick until Kinanah was near death. Then the Messenger gave him to Maslamah, who beheaded him.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 8, p. 122, See Also Ishaq:515

*We have been dealt a situation from which there is no escape. You have seen what Muhammad has done. Arabs have submitted to him and we do not have the strength to fight. You know that no herd is safe from him. And no one even dares go outside for fear of being terrorized.
**Al-Tabari, Vol. 9, p. 42

*Now then, O people, you have a right over your wives and they have a right over you. You have [the right] that they should not cause anyone of whom you dislike to tread on your beds; and that they should not commit any open indecency (fāḥishah). If they do, then God permits you to forsake them in bed and to beat them, but not severely. If they abstain from [evil], they have the right to their food and clothing in accordance with custom (bi’l-ma‘rūf). Treat women well, for they are [like] captives ('awan) with you and do not possess anything for themselves. You have taken them only as a trust from God, and you have made the enjoyment of their persons lawful by the word of God, so understand and listen to my words, O people. I have conveyed the Message, and have left you with something which, if you hold fast to it, you will never go astray: that is, the Book of God and the sunnah of His Prophet. Listen to my words, O people, for I have conveyed the Message and understand [it]. Know for certain that every Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, and that all Muslims are brethren. It is not lawful for a person [to take] from his brother except that which he has given him willingly, so do not wrong yourselves. O God, have I not conveyed the message?
** Al-Tabari, Vol. 9, p. 113, No. 1754

* The morning after the murder of Ashraf, the Prophet declared, &quot;Kill any Jew who falls under your power.&quot;
** Tabari 7:97

* Killing Unbelievers is a small matter to us.
** Tabari 9:69

* &quot;By God, our religion (din) from which we have departed is better and more correct than that which these people follow. Their religion does not stop them from shedding blood, terrifying the roads, and seizing properties.&quot; And they returned to their former religion.
**Tabari 17:187

* By the following Friday, Mansur had dealt with thirty thousand Muslims who had been paying the jizyah and eighty thousand polytheists who had been exempted from the jizyah. He imposed the jizyah on the polytheists and removed it from the Muslims.
**Statement about Mansur b. Umar b. Abi al-Kharqa , as quoted in ''The History of Jihad: From Muhammad to ISIS'' (2018), Robert Spencer, ch 3.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Tabari}}
[[Category:830s births]]
[[Category:920s deaths]]
[[Category:People from Amol]]
[[Category:Historians from Iran]]
[[Category:Jurists]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Iran]]
[[Category:Muslims from Iran]]</text>
      <sha1>8pqfoxux08jcvw2kboflmp9wcekiymt</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Tweety's S.O.S.</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>230813</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T16:36:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>192.248.210.16</ip>
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      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="487" xml:space="preserve">'''{{w|Tweety's S.O.S.}}''' is a 1951 Warner Bros. cartoon film.

== Dialogue ==

:''[Sylvester was hanging over the side of the ship. Tweety flies in.]''
:'''Tweety''': Oh. There you are! Did you lose something, puddy?
:''[Sylvester looks up from Tweety, his face was green.]''
:'''Tweety''': ''[laughs]'' That's a good twick! I wish I could turn gween wike that!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1951 films]]
[[Category:Tweety cartoons]]
[[Category: Sylvester cartoons]]</text>
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    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Pokémon/Season 19</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:24:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19100" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:'''Ash'': ''[solemnly]'' I know. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:'''Ash''': Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:'''Ash''': That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:'''Ash''': That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out.]''
:''[Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154566</id>
      <parentid>3154565</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:26:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Facing the Needs of the Many! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19059" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154570</id>
      <parentid>3154566</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:30:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19074" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50&gt;
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154584</id>
      <parentid>3154570</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T15:07:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21498" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be.
:'''Ash''' ''[taken aback by this sudden admittance]'' Ah...?
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that Ash finally understands.]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''' Oh?
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, even though they can't build on it now with her departure. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese TV is more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''' Bye!! ''[strikes a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21499" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be.
:'''Ash''' ''[taken aback by this sudden admittance]'' Ah...?
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that Ash finally understands.]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''' Oh?
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, even though they can't build on it now with her departure. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese TV is more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''' Bye!! ''[strikes a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
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      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
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      <text bytes="21508" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be.
:'''Ash''' ''[taken aback by this sudden admittance]'' Ah...?
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that Ash finally understands.]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''' Oh?
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese TV is more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''' Bye!! ''[strikes a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154762</id>
      <parentid>3154586</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:37:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Love Strikes! Eevee Yikes! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21509" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be.
:'''Ash''' ''[taken aback by this sudden admittance]'' Ah...?
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that Ash finally understands.]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''' Oh?
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese TV is more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''' Bye!! ''[strikes a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
      <sha1>1r2a3vj4dt7cf4wq0ybqo7jf22zthyv</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154774</id>
      <parentid>3154762</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T02:09:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Till We Compete Again! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21670" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battle? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[Her eyes shining, she giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. ''[holding her hand to the blue ribbon Ash gifted her]'' I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be!
:'''Ash''' ''[gasps, having been taken aback by this sudden admittance]''
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that ''Ash'' finally understands...~]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator bittersweetly with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey, Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese children's TV seems to be more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''': Byeeee!! ''[She and Dedenne strike a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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      <comment>/* Coming Apart at the Dreams! */</comment>
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      <text bytes="21671" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!! ''[who is revealed to be a Zygarde Core later on]''
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battles? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[Her eyes shining, she giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. ''[holding her hand to the blue ribbon Ash gifted her]'' I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be!
:'''Ash''' ''[gasps, having been taken aback by this sudden admittance]''
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that ''Ash'' finally understands...~]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator bittersweetly with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey, Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese children's TV seems to be more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''': Byeeee!! ''[She and Dedenne strike a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154787</id>
      <parentid>3154775</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:13:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* From A to Z! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25178" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Bonnie, Pikachu, and Dedenne are playing in a pile of leaves outside of Anistar City.]
:'''Clemont''': Let's go, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne?
:'''Ash''' We're really close to the Pokémon Center.
:'''Bonnie''' 'Kay!
:''[She laughs as she runs over to her bag, and Dedenne opens it to ride in it, but both are puzzled upon opening it.
:Huh? Oh...
:'''Serena''': Huh? Hey, Bonnie, what is it?
:'''Bonnie''': There's something inside...
:''[Pikachu's ears perk up, and the gang walks over to Bonnie to check the bag out.]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Ne...
:''[A chartreuse green blob-like creature with a red octagon mark, possibly a Pokémon, warbles as it awakens and turns towards Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': [gasps in excitement as she notices the creature move inside her bag.]''
:''[The creature, understandably, is startled and warbles.]
:'''Bonnie''': Wow, it moved!
:''[The creature tries to escape, but is chased after by Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[laughs]'' Wait!
:''[The creature and Bonnie go under Ash's legs before it bounces off of Bonnie and Serena's faces.]''
:'''Clemont''': Whoa!
:'''Ash''': Wahh! What's that?!
:'''Serena''': ''[groans from being struck in the face by the creature, who is now falling to the ground]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[with her arms outstretched]'' Come on! I've got you, yay! ''[She falls on her rear as she seemingly caught it in her hands, but...]''
:Haha!
:''[The creature warbles, taunting Bonnie.]''
Where'd it go? Huh?
:''[The creature now wriggles inside her shirt, causing her to laugh hysterically.]''
:That tickles!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, what are you doing?!
:''[The creature escapes Bonnie's shirt, only to be caught in her hands.]''
:'''Bonnie''': There, I gotcha!
:''[The creature wriggles in her hands and turns to Bonnie with an annoyed expression in its one pupil.]''
:Are you a Pokémon? Coochie-coo! ''[She starts tickling it, and it seems to fall asleep, but it wakes up annoyed before Bonnie starts to tickle it to exhaustion. She laughs hysterically.]'' 
:So cute!
:'''Clemont''': I've never seen that Pokémon before...
:'''Ash''': Oh, hold on! I'll use the Pokédex.
:'''Serena''': We do have new ones!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash scans his Pokédex on the green Pokémon, but strangely, it tells him...]''
:'''Ash's Pokédex''': No data.
:'''Ash''': Nothing...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...?
:'''Serena''': Wait! Let me try.
:'''Serena's Pokedex''': No data.
:'''Serena''': Ah, it really didn't work after all!
:'''Clemont''': So that means... ''it's a new kind of Pokémon?!''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! What a cool find!
:'''Bonnie''': I've decided.
:''[The creature, with a disappointed look in its eye, warbles in annoyed anticipation of Bonnie's decision.]''
:I'm gonna take care of it!
:''[all except Bonnie gasp.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, please don't forget; you don't know anything about it!
:'''Bonnie''': I'll learn by taking care of it! ''[to the Pokémon]'' If you don't have a name yet, then I'll just give you one! Now, let me see... it's squishy... so I'll call you Squishy! ''[laughs, with her reflection visible in Squishy's eye.]''
:'''Ash''': That's a great name! Squishy!
:'''Serena''': Nice to meet you, Squishy!
:'''Clemont''': To think you always give ''me'' grief about unimaginative names...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika! ''[runs off of Ash's shoulder to meet Squishy, along with Dedenne]''
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Bonnie''': I want you to meet Dedenne.
:'''Dedenne''': Dedenne, denne!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!!
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battles? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[Her eyes shining, she giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. ''[holding her hand to the blue ribbon Ash gifted her]'' I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be!
:'''Ash''' ''[gasps, having been taken aback by this sudden admittance]''
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that ''Ash'' finally understands...~]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator bittersweetly with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey, Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese children's TV seems to be more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''': Byeeee!! ''[She and Dedenne strike a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154788</id>
      <parentid>3154787</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:13:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
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      <comment>/* From A to Z! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25179" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Bonnie, Pikachu, and Dedenne are playing in a pile of leaves outside of Anistar City.]
:'''Clemont''': Let's go, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne?
:'''Ash''' We're really close to the Pokémon Center.
:'''Bonnie''' 'Kay!
:''[She laughs as she runs over to her bag, and Dedenne opens it to ride in it, but both are puzzled upon opening it.
:Huh? Oh...
:'''Serena''': Huh? Hey, Bonnie, what is it?
:'''Bonnie''': There's something inside...
:''[Pikachu's ears perk up, and the gang walks over to Bonnie to check the bag out.]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Ne...
:''[A chartreuse green blob-like creature with a red octagon mark, possibly a Pokémon, warbles as it awakens and turns towards Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': [gasps in excitement as she notices the creature move inside her bag.]''
:''[The creature, understandably, is startled and warbles.]
:'''Bonnie''': Wow, it moved!
:''[The creature tries to escape, but is chased after by Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[laughs]'' Wait!
:''[The creature and Bonnie go under Ash's legs before it bounces off of Bonnie and Serena's faces.]''
:'''Clemont''': Whoa!
:'''Ash''': Wahh! What's that?!
:'''Serena''': ''[groans from being struck in the face by the creature, who is now falling to the ground]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[with her arms outstretched]'' Come on! I've got you, yay! ''[She falls on her rear as she seemingly caught it in her hands, but...]''
:Haha!
:''[The creature warbles, taunting Bonnie.]''
:Where'd it go? Huh?
:''[The creature now wriggles inside her shirt, causing her to laugh hysterically.]''
:That tickles!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, what are you doing?!
:''[The creature escapes Bonnie's shirt, only to be caught in her hands.]''
:'''Bonnie''': There, I gotcha!
:''[The creature wriggles in her hands and turns to Bonnie with an annoyed expression in its one pupil.]''
:Are you a Pokémon? Coochie-coo! ''[She starts tickling it, and it seems to fall asleep, but it wakes up annoyed before Bonnie starts to tickle it to exhaustion. She laughs hysterically.]'' 
:So cute!
:'''Clemont''': I've never seen that Pokémon before...
:'''Ash''': Oh, hold on! I'll use the Pokédex.
:'''Serena''': We do have new ones!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash scans his Pokédex on the green Pokémon, but strangely, it tells him...]''
:'''Ash's Pokédex''': No data.
:'''Ash''': Nothing...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...?
:'''Serena''': Wait! Let me try.
:'''Serena's Pokedex''': No data.
:'''Serena''': Ah, it really didn't work after all!
:'''Clemont''': So that means... ''it's a new kind of Pokémon?!''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! What a cool find!
:'''Bonnie''': I've decided.
:''[The creature, with a disappointed look in its eye, warbles in annoyed anticipation of Bonnie's decision.]''
:I'm gonna take care of it!
:''[all except Bonnie gasp.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, please don't forget; you don't know anything about it!
:'''Bonnie''': I'll learn by taking care of it! ''[to the Pokémon]'' If you don't have a name yet, then I'll just give you one! Now, let me see... it's squishy... so I'll call you Squishy! ''[laughs, with her reflection visible in Squishy's eye.]''
:'''Ash''': That's a great name! Squishy!
:'''Serena''': Nice to meet you, Squishy!
:'''Clemont''': To think you always give ''me'' grief about unimaginative names...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika! ''[runs off of Ash's shoulder to meet Squishy, along with Dedenne]''
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Bonnie''': I want you to meet Dedenne.
:'''Dedenne''': Dedenne, denne!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!!
:''[Squishy's cry plays.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battles? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[Her eyes shining, she giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. ''[holding her hand to the blue ribbon Ash gifted her]'' I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be!
:'''Ash''' ''[gasps, having been taken aback by this sudden admittance]''
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that ''Ash'' finally understands...~]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator bittersweetly with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey, Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese children's TV seems to be more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''': Byeeee!! ''[She and Dedenne strike a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154789</id>
      <parentid>3154788</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:14:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>69.119.146.76</ip>
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      <comment>/* From A to Z! */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25177" xml:space="preserve">:'''Seasons:'''  [[Pokémon/Season 1|1]] [[Pokémon/Season 2|2]] [[Pokémon/Season 3|3]] [[Pokémon/Season 4|4]] [[Pokémon/Season 5|5]] [[Pokémon/Season 6|6]] [[Pokémon/Season 7|7]] [[Pokémon/Season 8|8]] [[Pokémon/Season 9|9]] [[Pokémon/Season 10|10]] [[Pokémon/Season 11|11]] [[Pokémon/Season 12|12]] [[Pokémon/Season 13|13]] [[Pokémon/Season 14|14]] [[Pokémon/Season 15|15]] [[Pokémon/Season 16|16]] [[Pokémon/Season 17|17]] [[Pokemon/Season 18|18]] [[Pokémon/Season 19|19]] [[Pokémon/Season 20|20]] [[Pokémon/Season 21|21]] [[Pokémon/Season 22|22]] [[Pokémon/Season 23|23]]| [[Pokémon|Main]]

This is a list of episodes from the 19th season of Pokemon, entitled, Pokemon the Series: XYZ.

==From A to Z!==
:''[Bonnie, Pikachu, and Dedenne are playing in a pile of leaves outside of Anistar City.]
:'''Clemont''': Let's go, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne?
:'''Ash''' We're really close to the Pokémon Center.
:'''Bonnie''' 'Kay!
:''[She laughs as she runs over to her bag, and Dedenne opens it to ride in it, but both are puzzled upon opening it.
:Huh? Oh...
:'''Serena''': Huh? Hey, Bonnie, what is it?
:'''Bonnie''': There's something inside...
:''[Pikachu's ears perk up, and the gang walks over to Bonnie to check the bag out.]''
:'''Ash''': Huh?
:'''Dedenne''': Ne...
:''[A chartreuse green blob-like creature with a red octagon mark, possibly a Pokémon, warbles as it awakens and turns towards Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[gasps in excitement as she notices the creature move inside her bag.]''
:''[The creature, understandably, is startled and warbles.]
:'''Bonnie''': Wow, it moved!
:''[The creature tries to escape, but is chased after by Bonnie.]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[laughs]'' Wait!
:''[The creature and Bonnie go under Ash's legs before it bounces off of Bonnie and Serena's faces.]''
:'''Clemont''': Whoa!
:'''Ash''': Wahh! What's that?!
:'''Serena''': ''[groans from being struck in the face by the creature, who is now falling to the ground]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[with her arms outstretched]'' Come on! I've got you, yay! ''[She falls on her rear as she seemingly caught it in her hands, but...]''
:Haha!
:''[The creature warbles, taunting Bonnie.]''
:Where'd it go? Huh?
:''[The creature now wriggles inside her shirt, causing her to laugh hysterically.]''
:That tickles!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, what are you doing?!
:''[The creature escapes Bonnie's shirt, only to be caught in her hands.]''
:'''Bonnie''': There, I gotcha!
:''[The creature wriggles in her hands and turns to Bonnie with an annoyed expression in its one pupil.]''
:Are you a Pokémon? Coochie-coo! ''[She starts tickling it, and it seems to fall asleep, but it wakes up annoyed before Bonnie starts to tickle it to exhaustion. She laughs hysterically.]'' 
:So cute!
:'''Clemont''': I've never seen that Pokémon before...
:'''Ash''': Oh, hold on! I'll use the Pokédex.
:'''Serena''': We do have new ones!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika!
:''[Ash scans his Pokédex on the green Pokémon, but strangely, it tells him...]''
:'''Ash's Pokédex''': No data.
:'''Ash''': Nothing...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...?
:'''Serena''': Wait! Let me try.
:'''Serena's Pokedex''': No data.
:'''Serena''': Ah, it really didn't work after all!
:'''Clemont''': So that means... ''it's a new kind of Pokémon?!''
:'''Ash''': Awesome! What a cool find!
:'''Bonnie''': I've decided.
:''[The creature, with a disappointed look in its eye, warbles in annoyed anticipation of Bonnie's decision.]''
:I'm gonna take care of it!
:''[All except Bonnie gasp.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika?!
:'''Clemont''': Bonnie, please don't forget; you don't know anything about it!
:'''Bonnie''': I'll learn by taking care of it! ''[to the Pokémon]'' If you don't have a name yet, then I'll just give you one! Now, let me see... it's squishy... so I'll call you Squishy! ''[laughs, with her reflection visible in Squishy's eye.]''
:'''Ash''': That's a great name! Squishy!
:'''Serena''': Nice to meet you, Squishy!
:'''Clemont''': To think you always give ''me'' grief about unimaginative names...
:'''Pikachu''': Pika! ''[runs off of Ash's shoulder to meet Squishy, along with Dedenne]''
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Bonnie''': I want you to meet Dedenne.
:'''Dedenne''': Dedenne, denne!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Segueing into commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena, Clemont &amp; Bonnie''': Who's that Pokemon? 
:''[a silhouette of Squishy is shown as its leitmotif plays.]''

:''[Segueing out of commercial break]''
:'''Ash, Serena &amp; and Clemont''': Iiiit's... umm...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[enthusiastically] Squishy!!
:''[Squishy warbles.]''

==Love Strikes! Eevee, Yikes!==

==A Giga Battle with Mega Results!==

==A Fiery Rite of Passage!==

==Dream a Little Dream from Me!==

==The Legend of the Ninja Hero!==

==A Festival of Decisions!==
:''[Ash's Frogadier is glowing triggering its evolution!]''
:'''Ash''': Frogadier, whoa! ''[Frogadier's evolution sends Bisharp to fly backwards.]''
:'''Shinobu''': Frogadier is evolving!
:''[A few seconds later, it is now a Greninja. Ash scans it with his Pokedex.]''
:'''Kalos Pokedex''': Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon, and the final evolved form of Froakie. Greninja can compress water into sharp-edged throwing stars. With the grace of a ninja, it slips in and out of sight to attack from the shadows. ''[Note: Greninja is the first fully evolved Water-type Starter to be owned by a main protagonist. This is because people are sick of the overused plot point of not allowing a main protagonist owned Water-typed Starter to fully evolve (Brock's Marshtomp, May's Wartortle, Dawn's Piplup, Ash's Squirtle, Totodile and Oshawott). In addition, many fans were fed up with the writers not allowing six of Ash's Water-type Pokemon to fully evolve (Squirtle, Totodile, Corphish, Buizel, Oshawott and Palpitoad). Hopefully, Ash will fully evolve the aforementioned other Water-type Pokemon reserves in the near future.]''

==A Dancing Debut!==

==Meeting at Terminus Cave!==

==A Cellular Connection!==

==A Windswept Encounter!==

==Party Dancecapades!==
:'''Serena''': ONE AT A TIME! WAIT YOUR TURN! You won't get brushed if you act up!

==A Meeting of Two Journeys!==

==An Explosive Operation!==

==A Watershed Moment!==

==Master Class Choices!==
:'''Amelia''': Hold on! This is unacceptable! Mine was a much more polished performance than hers [Serena's] was!
:'''Serena''': ''[eavesdropping]'' Is that... ''[Her Pokemon tell her to shush]''
:'''Palermo''': ''[annoyed]'' Yet the fact remains you lost. That's simply how the audience judged it. ''[Amelia gets pouty]'' Isn't there something more productive you could be doing now?
:'''Amelia''': But I want to become a better performer than Aria! ''[Serena continues hearing it, a bit shocked]''
:'''Palermo''': You can't just win with a perfect score. The only person who could come up with something more than that is you. ''[In other words, whining to someone about the results of your performance is not going to benefit you in the long run. Amelia walks away taking the lesson to heart.]''

==An Electrifying Rage!==

==Unlocking Some Respect!==

==Master Class is in Session!==

==Performing a Pathway to the Future!==

==A Keeper for Keeps?==
:'''Bonnie''': Excuse me, but I'm hungry too, you know!
:'''Clemont''': But you just ate a little while ago.
:'''Bonnie''': Whatever.
:'''Lilia''': Hey look. Buneary seems to like Bunnelby.
:''[Lilia's Buneary cuddles up with Bunnelby, much to the jealousy of Chespin and Pancham and Bunnelby's discomfort]''
:'''Pancham''': ''[whispering into Chespin's ear]'' Pancham-cham. [I got an idea...]
:'''Chespin''': ''[pushes Bunnelby away]'' Chespin...[Stand aside buddy.]
:'''Buneary''': Bun? [Huh?!]
:'''Chespin''': Chespin-ches! [Hey there cutie!]
:'''Buneary''': ''[swats Chespin away with its ears]'' Buneary! [Go away!]
:'''Pancham''': Pancham. [Hi sweetie!]
:'''Buneary''': BUNEARY! [GET LOST!] ''[does the same thing to Pancham, before resuming its cuddling with Bunnelby]''

==Battling at Full Volume!==
:''[Ash is sick and lands headfirst into Serena's arms.]''
:'''Ash''': Now's our chance. Now. Now.
:'''Serena''': What's wrong?
:'''Ash''': I...I...
:'''Serena''': I what? ''[Serena is now flustered, thinking Ash might admit his feelings to her, saying &quot;I love you&quot; or something similar. You know the drill...]''
:'''Ash''': I...I...Iron Tail, Pikachu...''[collapses, causing everyone else to panic!]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Serena appears wearing Ash's clothes! Braixen, Pancham, Sylveon all stare at her as if to say, &quot;What the heck is she doing?! Did she just...&quot;]''
:'''Serena''': ''[tries to put on Ash's voice]'' Here I am! I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. ''[Oh dear...]''

==The Synchronicity Test!==

==Making Friends and Influencing Villains!==

==Championing a Research Battle!==
:'''Diantha''': You take care of Ash, and I'll take care of this!
:'''Clemont &amp; Serena''': Right!
:''[Diantha turns to face Team Rocket]''
:'''Diantha''': '''''Don't you dare underestimate my Gardevoir!''''' Now Gardevoir, full power!
:'''Jessie''': A tone-deaf waste of time!

==A Full-Strength Battle Surprise!==

==All Hail the Ice Battlefield!==

==Seeing the Forest for the Trees!==

==A Real Icebreaker!==

==A Diamond in the Rough!==

==A Gaggle of Gadget Greatness!==

==A League of His Own!==
:'''Malva''': Excuse me? ''[rushes over to Ash]'' Are you competing in the Kalos League?
:'''Ash''': Uhhh...that's right.
:'''Malva''': Will you let me interview you?
:'''Ash''': Huh...you want to interview me? 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[As Ash rushes to the stadium to get ready for battle, he is intercepted by Everett, the Furfrou trainer from earlier.]''
:'''Everett''': So, we meet again. ''[Ash is shocked]'' Let's have a battle.
:'''Ash''': But I've got a battle out there. 
:'''Everett''': You promised.
:''[a flashback of Ash's promise is revealed]''
:'''Ash''': I know I did say the next time. ''[Pikachu is protesting]'' I'm keeping my word! I have to do it. ''[Are you crazy Ash? Don't you have an upcoming League battle to worry about?!]'' 
:'''Everett''': That's what I want to hear from a Trainer who won eight badges. A one on one battle, no holding back!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': You're strong alright, but I'm just gonna have to beat you so I can get out there. I didn't make it to the Kalos League for nothing, you know. ''[All eight Kalos Gym leaders are shown with their badges: Viola and her Bug Badge, Grant and his Cliff Badge, Korrina and her Rumble Badge, Ramos and his Plant Badge, Clemont and his Voltage Badge, Valerie and her Fairy Badge, Olympia and her Psychic Badge, Wulfric and his Iceberg Badge]'' I've got a lot of memories associated with each and every Gym badge I've won. Get ready for this, I'll show you what they all mean.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Ash had just defeated Everett's Furfrou]''
:'''Everett''': Furfrou, no!
:'''Ash''': ''[Bowing]'' Thank you for the battle.
:'''Everett''': You really beat me. ''[Recalls Furfrou and starts sobbing when Ash walks past]'' I couldn't get all eight badges in time. The thing is, there are lots of trainers like me who wanted to compete here. All those trainers with all their dreams and all their hopes... you better win no matter what. ''[Note: While people do criticize Ash for losing leagues, one thing people can agree on is that at least Ash qualified for them. This was a reminder to fans that not all people are able to meet the requirements in time for the League.]''

==Valuable Experience for All!==
:'''Ash''': Almost time for the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goodra! [Awesome!]
: '''Ash''': If I can make it to the semi-finals, it'll be six on six. But right now, I only have five Pokemon. I thought maybe Professor Oak could send me one. Instead, there's someone else I want to battle with. 
:'''Goodra''': Goo? [Who?]
:'''Ash''': And Goodra, that's you! Please battle by my side at the Kalos League!
:'''Goodra''': Goo! Goodra! Goodra Goo! [Sure thing! I won't let you down! Thanks Ash!] ''[Note: Because of the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire (Hoenn Remakes) around the time the XY initially aired, the writers reused the same premise by having Ash only rely on his Kalos team, exactly like he did in the Hoenn League. This is one of the main flaws of the XY series: it recycles way too many story elements from the Ruby and Sapphire anime. Also, this overused story element of Ash disregarding his reserves is getting old!]''

==Analysis Versus Passion!==

==A Riveting Rivalry!==

==Kalos League Passion with a Certain Flare!==

==Finals Not for the Faint-Hearted!==

==Down to the Fiery Finish!==

==A Towering Takeover!==

==Coming Apart at the Dreams!==
:''[Alain stares at the destruction of Lumiose City. He punches the ground in anger and frustration.]''
:'''Alain''': Mairin. Chespin. Is this the reason I had all those battles? All of them FOR THIS?!
:[''Note: The whole purpose of Alain's victory at the Kalos League was to show an example of pyrrhic victory- winning at a terrible price. Alain may have been the better battler than Ash, but he was not a better person due to bringing destruction to Kalos.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': For Chespie's sake. For Mairin's sake too. Your wish had pure intent. A truly noble wish indeed. ''[Was your achievement really worth it, Alain?]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lysandre''': So Ash, I'm going to use your Bond Phenomenon in service to my new world. You're able to gain the power strength without a Keystone, purely through your bond. When I saw that, I was thrilled. Ash, you have shown me there are limitless possibilities with Pokemon still and I want that power for myself. ''[two drones fly towards Ash and Greninja and shoot the two with a brainwashed ray]'' The energy is powerful enough to control Zygarde. But now, Ash, now, Greninja, I am also going to control your Bond Phenomenon.
:'''Ash''': No way...
:'''Lysandre''': From this point on, both of you will answer to me.

==The Right Hero for the Right Job!==

==Rocking Kalos Defenses!==

==Forming a More Perfect Union!==

==Battling With a Clean Slate!==

==The First Day of the Rest of Your Life!==

==Facing the Needs of the Many!==
:''[Note: This is considered by many to be the worst episode in the anime's history, due to the release of Greninja, one of Ash's ace Pokémon, and bringing back the evil roots that were already destroyed during the Team Flare arc. But, after Zygarde gives context, some may think it's a reasonable sacrifice to keep Ash, his friends, and his world intact.]''

:'''Clemont''': It's YOU!
:'''Serena''': Clemont, who's he?
:'''Clemont''': XEROSIC! Team Flare's scientist! I battled him!
:'''Xerosic''': True, I lost to you back then. But I'm miraciously back! And I'm now in the process of creating... Team Neo-Flare!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Zygarde (Z2)''': ''[in it's 50% Forme, speaking telepathically]'' Greninja, I've come to ask a favor of you.
:'''Pikachu''': Pika? [Huh, is that...]
:'''Serena''': Was that the voice of Zygarde?
:'''Ash''': It's telepathy.
:'''Zygarde''': The vines that reappeared, the roots have burrowed themselves deep into the ground, and they emerge by absorbing negative energy. What we destroyed was merely on the surface. The scars from the incident that nearly destroyed the world are deep! The two of us are destroying the roots that are scattered throughout Kalos one by one.
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' However, it's difficult for even ''me'' to pinpoint their exact locations, yet, Greninja, it seems that ''you'' are somehow able to locate them.
:'''Greninja''': ''[in its Ash-Greninja form]'' Ja. [Yes]
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps, then remembers the negative energy from the evil roots]'' So that was the ''negative'' energy...!
:'''Zygarde''': I do not know why only ''you'' possessed that power, but I am in ''need'' of your assistance.
:'''Squishy''': Will you help us with your power?
:'''Bonnie''': Power?
:'''Serena''': Does that mean...? ''[Yes Serena, it is happening...]''
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Gasps as Ash walks up to Greninja, which is now faced with the decision of its life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ash''': What'll it be...? Greninja?
:''Greninja turns around and closes its eyes in a serious manner.]''
:''[solemnly]'' I ''know''. What happened before can never happen again.
:''[Greninja nods to Ash.]''
:Remember what Professor Sycamore said?
:''[A flashback of Greninja taking Pikachu's deflected Electro Ball to keep Pikachu healthy as a Froakie plays out, followed by the scene where Ash rushes to Sycamore's lab with it barely conscious in his arms.]''
:That may be... it wasn't a coincidence that I met you way back when you were still a ''Froakie''. I think that maybe, he was right. It ''wasn't'' a coincidence.
:''[Flashbacks of Froakie evolving into Frogadier and later defeating Anistar City Gym Leader Olympia play.]''
:That when you and I power up, it ''isn't'' an accident. Maybe your power was always meant for this moment.
:''[Flashbacks of Frogadier evolving into Greninja, battling Sawyer's Sceptile, and saving a Spewpa in the Winding Woods, followed by it and Ash shaking hands, play.] 
:'''Greninja''': Ninja.
:'''Ash''': Thanks. You always became stronger to help someone else. So now this time, you'll help Kalos and the ''world''!
:It's like something's telling you that what you need to do now is find all that negative energy! Don't worry! We'll always be connected, even we're not in the same place!
:The truth is, we won't ever ''really'' be apart.
:'''Pikachu''': ''[concerned]'' Pikachu?
:'''Ash''': This is what you've gotta do!
:'''Greninja''': ''[nodding its head in understanding, realizing the future of the world of Pokémon lies in its hands]'' Gren. 
:''[It walks up to Ash and extends its arm out, then Ash and Greninja clasp hands and embrace.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[emotionally]'' Oh, Greninja...
:'''Greninja''': ''[emotionally]'' Greninja...
:''[Serena, Clemont and Bonnie watch in shocked sadness as Greninja turns away from Ash and walks towards Squishy and Z-2.]''
:'''Ash''': ''[with tears in his eyes]'' That's right. This is how it has to be.
:'''Greninja''': Greninja. ''[It extends its arm to Squishy.]''
:'''Squishy''': ''[telepathically]'' Thank you. 
:''[to Ash]'' Ash, Greninja will be in my care.
:'''Ash''': Yeah! I'm counting on you, Squishy!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[concerned about the future of her and Squishy's friendship]'' Hey, Squishy...?
:'''Squishy''': We probably won't see each other for a while, Bonnie...
:'''Bonnie''': ''[almost breaks down crying, but is suddenly cheerful through her tears]'' It's okay! I know that you've got a lot of important work to do! I'll always be cheering you on, you know?
:'''Squishy''': I'll always be with you too, Bonnie.
:'''Bonnie''': I'll come and find you when I become a Trainer! We'll be together again, that's a promise! ''[hopefully this becomes canon soon, same with Max and his Ralts friend...]''
:'''Dedenne''': ''[emotionally]'' Dedenne!
:'''Squishy''': Yes, that's a promise!
:''(Dedenne and the rest of Ash's Pokémon express their farewells to Squishy, Z2, and, most importantly, Greninja)''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Greninja!
:'''Bonnie''': You too, Squishy! Take care!!
:''(Greninja holds Squishy in its hand and looks back as it leaves Ash and his friends)''
:'''Greninja''': Greninja.
:'''Narrator''': Greninja and Ash may be parting ways, but this also means the beginning of new encounters! In search of their own new encounters, our heroes will no doubt experience many new and exciting adventures, as the journey continues!

==Till We Compete Again!==
:''[Dedenne, not wanting to say goodbye to Ash and Serena and their Pokémon, has run off, sending the gang in a chase around Lumiose Airport. Using Pikachu's electricity, they find it hiding behind a conveyor belt's TV screen.]''
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne! Dedenne, come out! I'm begging you!
:'''Dedenne''': ''[in protest]'' Ne... Ne! Denne! Dene-nne!
:'''Bonnie''': Dedenne, you've just ''got'' to come out here! Please?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-denne! ''[breaks down crying]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Ash''': Dedenne...
:'''Bonnie''': I know why... Dedenne doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone.
:''[Talonflame's wing flapping sound can be heard.]''
:'''Pikachu''': Pika...
:'''Bonnie''': What do I do? I need you, Dedenne! I understand what you're feeling!
:''[Dedenne is seen still crying]'' (You) just know you want to stay together forever because we've all had so much fun together! Well, so do I. I love everyone too! 
:''[shots of Clemont, Serena and Ash, who completely understand the meaning behind Bonnie's speech and feel Dedenne's problem, are shown.]'' But we all have dreams of our own. Serena, Ash, and everyone wants to try to make their dreams come true! Sure, ''I'm'' really sad, but I've got to be strong! ''[Dedenne starts to wipe off its tears.]''
:''[holding her hand to her heart and speaking sincerely]'' When I get old enough, I'll be a Pokémon Trainer! And I'll want ''you'' to be my partner!
:''[Dedenne's voice can quietly be heard as it stops crying, but is still teary-eyed.]''
: I'll become a Performer who's just as good as Serena! I'll earn a Gym Badge from my brother! We'll beat Ash and Pikachu! And then, we'll become number one in Kalos! (You might want to worry about beating Alain first...) ''[Shots of the gang in order of mention are seen, who are humbled by Bonnie's confidence to match what their feats throughout their journey together.]''
:''[Dedenne, still hiding, turns its head towards Bonnie.]''
:''[Bonnie is now cheerful, knowing her resolve when the time comes.]'' And so, let's dream too! We can say our goodbyes and still laugh together! What do you say?
:'''Dedenne''': ''[coming out of hiding]'' Dedenne... Dedenne! ''[jumps emotionally into Bonnie's hands]''
:'''Pikachu''': ''[relieved that Bonnie was able to convince Dedenne to come out of hiding]'' Pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne-ne-ne-ne...
:'''Bonnie''': Hmmm... ''[nuzzling Dedenne]'' it's okay~!
:''[Everyone walks toward Bonnie and Dedenne.]''
:'''Ash''': Dedenne, you can help Bonnie make her dreams come true!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Dedenne''': Denne...?
:'''Clemont''': You'll see! We'll battle!
:'''Serena''': I know I'm gonna have to do my best, or you'll beat me!
:'''Braixen''': Braix!
:'''Ash''': None of us wanna lose to you.
:''[All the Pokémon voice their agreement.]''
:'''Bonnie''': You hear that?
:'''Dedenne''': Denne!
:''[Bonnie and Dedenne laugh.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The scene changes to a pair of escalators within the airport, where Serena is ready to say goodbye to Ash and the others and head for Hoenn.]''
:'''Airport Announcer''': Latias Airlines Flight H71 will finish boarding soon. Ticketholders who have not yet boarded, please proceed to the gate immediately.
:'''Serena''': 'Kay, it's time to go! Ash, Clemont, Bonnie, you've all given me so very much. More than I can say!
:'''Pikachu''': Pika-pika!
:'''Clemont''': Give us a call once in a while!
:'''Bonnie''': You can be sure that we're all gonna come and visit you!
:'''Serena''': ''[Her eyes shining, she giggles]'' Mm-hmm!
:Ash, thank you. ''[holding her hand to the blue ribbon Ash gifted her]'' I'm glad I came with you. You're the kind of person I want to be!
:'''Ash''' ''[gasps, having been taken aback by this sudden admittance]''
:''[Clemont and Bonnie look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what she means, and are happy that ''Ash'' finally understands...~]
:'''Serena''': Next time we meet, ''[winking]'' you're gonna like the type of person I've grown into!
:'''Ash''': ''[confidently clenching his fist]'' Awesome!
:'''Serena''': ''[laughs]'' See you!
:''[Serena starts to descend down the escalator bittersweetly with the others seeing her off, but midway down, she realizes she owes Ash something for everything he's done for her...]''
:''[turns confidently toward Ash]'' Hey, Ash! There's just one more thing!
:'''Ash''': ''[gasps]''
:''[Serena starts running up the downward escalator, and the camera turns to slow-motion. As she gets closer towards Ash, he becomes shocked and blushes, realizing what this 'one more thing&quot; is: his very first kiss, and the climax of years of romantic tension between the two of them, although they can't build on it yet with her flight about to leave. (The camera only shows their feet however, as Japanese children's TV seems to be more sensitive than American kids shows.)]''
:''[Clemont, Bonnie and Pikachu, and especially Ash, are blushing as Serena descends down the escalator]''
:'''Serena''': ''[blushing especially hard]'' Thank you!!
:''[Ash's eyes twinkle for a second, as he is stunned in awe by what Serena just did, but he then looks down confidently on her, knowing that he is looking much more forward to seeing the &quot;new&quot; Serena when they meet again.]''
:''[overlapping]''
:'''Clemont''': Bye, Serena!
:'''Bonnie''': Byeeee!! ''[She and Dedenne strike a pose]''
:'''Ash''': Take care of yourself, Serena! Bye-bye!
:''[Dedenne and Pikachu's voices overlap as well.]''
:''[Serena waves to the gang as she finishes her descent down the escalator.]''
[[Category:Anime and manga series]]</text>
      <sha1>0ix6gms59q8ixhbm01i5wo3vzqsbscm</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Russian Civil War</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>234369</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154532</id>
      <parentid>3151469</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:13:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>USN1977</username>
        <id>20370</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* R */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3915" xml:space="preserve">The '''[[w:Russian Civil War|Russian Civil War]]''' (Russian: Гражданская война в России, tr. Grazhdanskaya voyna v Rossii) was a multi-party [[w:civil war|civil war]] in the former [[w:Russian Empire|Russian Empire]] immediately after the two [[w:Russian Revolution|Russian revolutions of 1917]], as many factions vied to determine Russia's political future. The two largest combatant groups were the [[w:Red Army|Red Army]], fighting for the [[w:Bolsheviks|Bolshevik]] form of [[socialism]] led by [[Vladimir Lenin]], and the loosely allied forces known as the [[w:White movement|White Army]], which included diverse interests favouring political [[monarchism]], [[capitalism]] and [[social democracy]], each with [[democracy|democratic]] and [[w:Criticism of democracy|anti-democratic]] variants. In addition, rival militant socialists, notably [[w:Makhnovia|Makhnovia]] [[anarchists]] and [[w:Left Socialist-Revolutionaries|Left SRs]], as well as non-ideological [[w:Green armies|Green armies]] and independence-seeking minority groups, opposed the Reds, the Whites and foreign interventionists. Thirteen foreign nations intervened against the Red Army, notably the former [[w:Allies of World War I|Allied]] military forces from the just-concluded [[World War I|World War]] with the goal of re-establishing the [[w:Eastern Front (World War I)|Eastern Front]]. Three foreign nations of the [[w:Central Powers|Central Powers]] also intervened, rivaling the Allied intervention with the main goal of retaining the territory they had received in the [[w:Treaty of Brest-Litovsk|Treaty of Brest-Litovsk]].

[[File:Russian Civil War montage.png|thumb|Russian Civil War montage]]
[[File:Denikin poster.jpg|thumb|&quot;Why aren't you in the Army?&quot;]]
[[File:Russian civil war in the west.svg|thumb|Russian civil war in the west]]
[[File:Soviet Red Army Hammer and Plough.svg|thumb|Red Army emblem of 1919-1922]]
[[File:G3 46.jpg|thumb|White Army appeal to volunteers, 1918-1919]]
[[File:Volunteer Army infantry company.jpg|thumb|Anti-Bolshevik Volunteer Army infantry company]]
[[File:Mark V Arkhangelsk 2011.jpg|thumb|Mark V tank on display in Arkhangelsk in 2011, captured by the Red Army from the White Russian Army]]
[[File:Dismembered Russia — Some Fragments (NYT article, Feb. 17, 1918).png|thumb|Dismembered Russia — Some Fragments (NYT article, Feb. 17, 1918)]]

{{Military-stub}}

== A ==
== B ==
== C ==

* In one of the ugliest wars of the twentieth century, the new Bolshevik government of Russia consolidated its power, fighting off numerous White armies consisting of monarchists and those who favored a less drastic form of socialism, as well as nationalist armies from border states such as the Ukraine, and the intervening forces of fourteen different foreign countries. In a conflict that raged across the length and breadth of the former Russian Empire, millions of lives were lost and the Soviet Union was eventually born, with its leaders scarred by terror, deeply paranoid, and xenophobic. The result was the autocratic USSR of Stalin's terror purges, the gulag, and the Cold War.
** Joseph Cummings, ''The War Chronicles, From Flintlocks To Machine Guns: A Global Reference of All the Major Modern Conflicts'' (2009), p. 248

== D ==
== E ==
== F ==
== G ==
== H ==
== I ==
== J ==
== K ==
== L ==
== M ==
== N ==
== O ==
== P ==
== Q ==
== R ==
From the Red Army {original composer uncredited}
&lt;i&gt;A marching song lampooning the Whites, as well as the intervention of foreign governments&lt;/i&gt;:&lt;br&gt;
The uniforms are British&lt;br&gt;
The epaulettes from France&lt;br&gt;
Japan sends tobacco, and&lt;br&gt;
[[w:Alexander_Kolchak|Kolchak]] leads the dance&lt;br&gt;

The uniforms are tattered&lt;br&gt;
The epaulettes are gone&lt;br&gt;
So is the tobacco, and&lt;br&gt;
Kolchak's day is done&lt;br&gt;

== S ==
== T ==
== U ==
== V ==
== W ==
== X ==
== Y ==
== Z ==

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Civil wars]]</text>
      <sha1>3pajiveggr2j0l2lxwc0dff5oa4br89</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154533</id>
      <parentid>3154532</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:14:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>USN1977</username>
        <id>20370</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* R */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3919" xml:space="preserve">The '''[[w:Russian Civil War|Russian Civil War]]''' (Russian: Гражданская война в России, tr. Grazhdanskaya voyna v Rossii) was a multi-party [[w:civil war|civil war]] in the former [[w:Russian Empire|Russian Empire]] immediately after the two [[w:Russian Revolution|Russian revolutions of 1917]], as many factions vied to determine Russia's political future. The two largest combatant groups were the [[w:Red Army|Red Army]], fighting for the [[w:Bolsheviks|Bolshevik]] form of [[socialism]] led by [[Vladimir Lenin]], and the loosely allied forces known as the [[w:White movement|White Army]], which included diverse interests favouring political [[monarchism]], [[capitalism]] and [[social democracy]], each with [[democracy|democratic]] and [[w:Criticism of democracy|anti-democratic]] variants. In addition, rival militant socialists, notably [[w:Makhnovia|Makhnovia]] [[anarchists]] and [[w:Left Socialist-Revolutionaries|Left SRs]], as well as non-ideological [[w:Green armies|Green armies]] and independence-seeking minority groups, opposed the Reds, the Whites and foreign interventionists. Thirteen foreign nations intervened against the Red Army, notably the former [[w:Allies of World War I|Allied]] military forces from the just-concluded [[World War I|World War]] with the goal of re-establishing the [[w:Eastern Front (World War I)|Eastern Front]]. Three foreign nations of the [[w:Central Powers|Central Powers]] also intervened, rivaling the Allied intervention with the main goal of retaining the territory they had received in the [[w:Treaty of Brest-Litovsk|Treaty of Brest-Litovsk]].

[[File:Russian Civil War montage.png|thumb|Russian Civil War montage]]
[[File:Denikin poster.jpg|thumb|&quot;Why aren't you in the Army?&quot;]]
[[File:Russian civil war in the west.svg|thumb|Russian civil war in the west]]
[[File:Soviet Red Army Hammer and Plough.svg|thumb|Red Army emblem of 1919-1922]]
[[File:G3 46.jpg|thumb|White Army appeal to volunteers, 1918-1919]]
[[File:Volunteer Army infantry company.jpg|thumb|Anti-Bolshevik Volunteer Army infantry company]]
[[File:Mark V Arkhangelsk 2011.jpg|thumb|Mark V tank on display in Arkhangelsk in 2011, captured by the Red Army from the White Russian Army]]
[[File:Dismembered Russia — Some Fragments (NYT article, Feb. 17, 1918).png|thumb|Dismembered Russia — Some Fragments (NYT article, Feb. 17, 1918)]]

{{Military-stub}}

== A ==
== B ==
== C ==

* In one of the ugliest wars of the twentieth century, the new Bolshevik government of Russia consolidated its power, fighting off numerous White armies consisting of monarchists and those who favored a less drastic form of socialism, as well as nationalist armies from border states such as the Ukraine, and the intervening forces of fourteen different foreign countries. In a conflict that raged across the length and breadth of the former Russian Empire, millions of lives were lost and the Soviet Union was eventually born, with its leaders scarred by terror, deeply paranoid, and xenophobic. The result was the autocratic USSR of Stalin's terror purges, the gulag, and the Cold War.
** Joseph Cummings, ''The War Chronicles, From Flintlocks To Machine Guns: A Global Reference of All the Major Modern Conflicts'' (2009), p. 248

== D ==
== E ==
== F ==
== G ==
== H ==
== I ==
== J ==
== K ==
== L ==
== M ==
== N ==
== O ==
== P ==
== Q ==
== R ==
From the Red Army {original composer uncredited}&lt;br&gt;
&lt;i&gt;A marching song lampooning the Whites, as well as the intervention of foreign governments&lt;/i&gt;:&lt;br&gt;
The uniforms are British&lt;br&gt;
The epaulettes from France&lt;br&gt;
Japan sends tobacco, and&lt;br&gt;
[[w:Alexander_Kolchak|Kolchak]] leads the dance&lt;br&gt;

The uniforms are tattered&lt;br&gt;
The epaulettes are gone&lt;br&gt;
So is the tobacco, and&lt;br&gt;
Kolchak's day is done&lt;br&gt;

== S ==
== T ==
== U ==
== V ==
== W ==
== X ==
== Y ==
== Z ==

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Civil wars]]</text>
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== [[User:Babe kebab]] ==

{{Archive top}}
This discussion seems to have devolved into a number of different disputes and arguments. It was requested that a local admin close the discussion, so here goes:
* The account &quot;Risto hot sir&quot; has been/is currently globally locked. Steward [[User:Wim b|Wim b]] decided to lock the account on 20 August 2019, citing &quot;crosswiki abuse&quot;. Regardless of the merits of the original lock, the editor has continued to try and edit different WMF projects via alternate accounts or from IPs. They are now considered a long term abuser (LTA) due primarily to the evasions, rather than any original conduct
* The account &quot;Babe kebab&quot; appears to have been controlled by the same editor, and has been locked by steward [[User:Tks4Fish|Tks4Fish]] for &quot;Long-term abuse&quot;
* As explained at, eg, [[:m:Global locks]], global locks are (as the name suggests) global - an account that has been locked cannot be used to edit *any* WMF project, including the English Wikiquote
* There was a question - why can't this user continue to contribute here on the English Wikiquote? Because any such edits would be evading the global lock, and *stewards* would likely globally lock any account used, and/or globally block any ip used
* If you want to allow this user to edit, the proper channel is to request that the original account be unlocked. Any discussion *here* of whether or not they *should* be allowed to edit is irrelevant, because stewards are the only ones that can unlock an account. Any issue of stewards failing to respond to an appeal in a timely manner should be taken up with stewards.
In short, edits made here on the English Wikiquote, even if they are constructive, that are made in evasion of a global lock, are improper. It is a content decision whether or not to revert solely due to the fact that the edits are being made by an LTA, and I'm not going to address that. But it is a user-management decision to lock the accounts used / globally block the ips used, and ''that'' latter decision is the purview of stewards. --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:22, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
----
[[User:Sitush]] has [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=992823404&amp;oldid=992783263&amp;title=User_talk%3ABD2412&amp;type=revision left a note on me Wikipedia talk page] asserting that [[User:Babe kebab]] is a &quot;blatant Risto sock&quot;. This seems fairly plausible based on Babe kebab's brief edit history to this point. Any thoughts on this? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 18:32, 7 December 2020 (UTC)

:The question is WHY Sitush &amp; the gang wants to vandalize the project. I've made 120,000 useful edits - and nobody will revert 'em, because other people would have to add those again. I've done good work here, haven't I? Politics should stay off this wiki! A true detective wants to know the motives. Here some clues: &quot;censorship&quot;, &quot;India&quot;, investigation for &quot;severe conducting problems&quot; at Meta.--[[User:Babe kebab|Babe kebab]] ([[User talk:Babe kebab|talk]]) 18:52, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
:: It looks like you're going to be blocked globally (again). You know better than to sock, so why don't you go back to your original account and appeal to be unblocked, rather than going through these machinations? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 19:57, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
::: It's just waste of time. The stewards haven't answered in 15 months, so it's better to create new accounts to make the necessary edits - it doesn't matter who makes 'em. Besides it's fun to receive friendly welcoming messages. {{unsigned|80.223.94.56|00:33, 8 December 2020 }}
:::: &quot;Waste of time&quot; That's plain pathetic on your end. It only goes you're an entitled twat who isn't willing to undergo the legwork and as WP tenets show, rebuilding reputation on one account is better than creating so many socks. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 06:34, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
:::: I have to agree with [[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]]. What's the point of contributing to Wikimedia at all if that's your opinion of it? [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 07:26, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

: I am  with [[User:Babe kebab]]  on this. IMIO the sockpuppet obsession has taken on a life of it own at enwiki. There are many good contributors on many wmf-projects who are accused of sockpuppeting when all they are doing is trying to continue contributing productively. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:18, 8 December 2020 (UTC)

::Why to contribute? To make articles better of course. &quot;Reputation&quot; means nothing. - It's OK if the LOCAL admins want to revert, but some global ones want just to show their power. In that case &quot;no human has the right to obey&quot; (Arendt). - The community should be worried about this: I was forbidden to link Indian related articles at en-wikipedia, and after I called it censorship I got hellhounds on my track.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 14:48, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
::: Wikimedia projects have value ''because of'' their rules and community adherence to them, not despite these things. If you were &quot;forbidden&quot; to do something, there is assuredly a good reason for that, and you should abide by that until a contrary determination is made, and achieve change through discussion, not by pretending to be someone else until you get caught pretending. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 17:21, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
::::Well, maybe you are the right person to discuss with those Hindu and Muslim extremists who have hated each other more than one thousand years.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:02, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: {{Yo|BD2412}} you said: '''achieve change through discussion''', but one cannot achieve change if one gets blocked for expressing one's views, or when one is under the impression that one will get blocked if they express their views. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:14, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
::::: Nonsense. No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views. Editors get blocked for a wide range of behavioral issues - bullying, attacking, insulting, etc. - and calling those behaviors &quot;expressing their views&quot;. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 20:30, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
:::::: @BD2412  you said: '''No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views'''.  Is this your personal opinion, the wikiquote community consensus, or something else? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 05:41, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
::::::: [[Wikiquote:Blocking policy]] provides limitations to the circumstances for which an editor can be blocked. Merely expressing views isn't one of them. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 07:02, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

What if an administrator is a bully (in theory of course)? - Anyways, what the readers want isn't very important here, so it seems to be.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:46, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
: There are processes to deal with that as well. Our processes are key to our project being of use to readers. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 02:09, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
:: Great principle! - but the reality is something else. Like told before, I used the official path to stewards, and haven't got reply in 15 months. Why?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:26, 12 December 2020 (UTC)
::: My experience tells that admins can do whatever they want. Look at the editing history of the Dutch wikiquote: hardly anything but blocks! And this has lasted for years.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:20, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
::::And there are lots of &quot;preventive infinite blocks&quot; - for me too - before one hasn't even edited. Is this what we deserve?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:25, 15 December 2020 (UTC)
:::::Silence is golden?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:17, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

Even if he has been blocked on wikipedia (for it appears unclear reasons), why has he been blocked on WQ? This is an user who has made over 100,000 of very helpful edits and contributions to WQ. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

Wikipedians like Sitush are saying this user was blocked on wikipedia for bullying, hounding and personal attacks and for defamations and WP:BLP violations on [[w:WP:BLP|WP:BLP]] pages. What were these personal attacks? {{ping|Ottawahitech}}, you have more experience seeing his edits, can you share with us some of the examples of his bullying others and of his personal attacks by this user? Did you observe this user making personal attacks or bullying other users? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

: Here's something to read: [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Wim_b#Global_block_of_Risto_hot_sir]--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 13:54, 16 December 2020 (UTC) - YaganZ is probably the only neutral person who really has researched the case.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 13:58, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

:: Thanks for the information @80.223.94.56

:: I am new to the subject of global blocks (or is it locks?), so please bear with me. The link that you sent us to is on a talkpage of [[user:Wim b]] on the Meta-wiki. I assume Wim  globally blocked [[User:Risto hot sir]]? I don't know what process is in place for globally locking wmf contributors, but I see that  Wim is not an Administrator, but is a Steward. So I guess Stewards are the ones that decide if a user should be blocked on all wmf-sites?

:: If so, I believe Stewards are incredibly powerful users and would like to find out  whether they are voted in by the community or simply appointed (by who?) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 19:21, 17 December 2020 (UTC)

:::Yes, Stewards are incredibly powerful users but usually do what administrators suggest - when you look at the time the decision is made: no investigations. And it's very difficult to have contact with them, as I've showed.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:53, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: How are users notified a discussion is taking place to globally block them? In other words which wmf-site is the notice posted to? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 05:30, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

I found [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Risto_hot_sir&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2618863 this post] on Risto's usertalkpage, I think it demonstarates his intentions with regards to WQ? Thoughts? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:57, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

:Thanks {{ping|Ottawahitech}} for this information from {{ping|Spannerjam}}s talkpage. I think what you said in your edit summaries was spot on:
:: Is Risto motivated to improve WQ?
:: risto spent his own money to purchase a book to help WQ , I assume

:and Im repeating it here because some might not have seen it. Yes I think you are right it demonstarates his good intentions with regards to WQ. Have you seen my comment on Kalki's talkpage? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 21:24, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt; Note: I have posted a notice on [[User talk:Wim b|Wim b's talkpage]] letting him know about this discussion. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:27, 18 December 2020 (UTC) &lt;/small&gt;

=== Statement by Wim b ===
I've locked Risto hot sir [[m:Steward_requests/Global/2019-08#Global_lock_for_Risto_hot_sir_and_socks|per request for crosswiki abuse]]. Imho a user blocked in 5 projects is clearly problematic, then evading the global lock through socks is also a way to make fun of the rules that the global community has set itself. I am sorry when I have to block a user who until the day before was an excellent user, but in this case I would not even know how to justify an unblock, but I'll write an email to the other stewards to inform them of this discussion and let's see what comes out. --[[User talk:Wim b|Wim b]] 10:20, 19 December 2020 (UTC)
:: Sent on Saturday, wait if anyone is interested in attending. --[[User talk:Wim b|Wim b]] 18:12, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

::: Thanks for keeping us updated {{Yo|Wim b}} I, for one, appreciate your continued attention to this issue. I don't know how [[COVID]] is affecting wiki activity this year, but I believe that in previous years traffic usually dries up during the last two weeks of December, but then picks up with renewed vigour come January. Please keep us posted on any developments.

::: And for the stats nuts around here, it appears there are now twice as many  eyes on this notice board than on our main [[Wikiquote:Village pump|village pump]] (ask me how I know this  if you are interested) Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:07, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: 27 698 visitors per day on the main page last year, 7 744 in the last 90 days.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 22:40, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

What really wonders many is WHY he was blocked? which policies did he violate? why was he blocked before going through dispute resolution? Wikiquote users would like to know which actual wikipedia policies he violated with which edit(s), and if the user went through dispute resolution before being blocked? I assume that this information is readily available and was consulted before blocking and can be shown here. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

: Yes, it is not clear why  [[User:Risto hot sir]] was originally  blocked on enwiki, and it is also not clear why this user(s) is now globally locked. Do  globally locked users have to be blocked on all wmf-wikis? If so, why are we not involved in steward elections? The Stewards appear to be making decisions about global locks without a community discussion, apparently. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 00:23, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] new stewards are elected, and existing stewards require reconfirmation, every year since 2005. (Give or take a few months.) It can be found at [[M:Stewards/Elections]]. It generally runs Feb 8 through Feb 28. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 08:32, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

=== English Wikiquote blocking policy regarding socks ===

I looked at the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Blocking_policy WQ blocking policy] link provided by [[user:BD2412]] above to try and figure out if [[User:Babe kebab]] should be blocked on this wmf-site. Here is the pertinent section of the blocking policy regarding socks (I think?):
&lt;blockquote&gt;
Sysops may also block new user accounts that make lots of disruptive edits, for any length of time or permanently, at their discretion. Sockpuppets that were created to violate Wikiquote policy should be blocked permanently. However, blocks should not be used against isolated incidents of disruption from IP addresses nor against user accounts that make a mixture of disruptive and useful edits.
Reincarnations of blocked disruptive users will be reblocked if they continue being disruptive, or if they edit in a way which suggests they are likely to continue being disruptive—such as &quot;YOU CANT BLOCK ME!!&quot; or &quot;JOIN ME IN MY FIGHT TO DESTROY WIKIQUOTE!!&quot;
Blocks under this provision are almost always controversial.
&lt;/blockquote&gt;

discussion? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:43, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

: Is it OK to revert questions, like on the userpage of Vermont? --  14:55, 1 February 2021‎ 86.115.119.192
:: In my opinion, backed up by no actual policy, guideline, or essay, is that a user control's that users talk page. If I'm right then it is okay for a user to revert a question posted their talk page. But another editor should not do that. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:31, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== What is a sock? ===
In order to have a productive discussionn we need IMIO to define what a sock is.

According to [https://wikimania.wikimedia.org/wiki/2019:Research/Sockpuppet_detection_in_the_English_Wikipedia 2019:Research/Sockpuppet detection in the English Wikipedia]:
&lt;blockquote&gt;
Sockpuppetry is the use of more than one account on any social platform
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
Do you agree with this definition? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:27, 13 December 2020 (UTC)
: Yes. The whole point of having an account is to connect responsibility for edits with the specific editor. Where an individual edits from multiple accounts without disclosing the connection between them, this creates the potential for creating a false impression of the determinations of the community with respect to the conduct of the project. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 03:24, 14 December 2020 (UTC)

I just found out that a new User I have communicated with is globally locked. I cannot find any discussion of this locking. All [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/FcoonerBCA I see] is the date of locking (2 December 2020), the USERID of the locking Steward, and the wmf-sites this User participated in. Anyone? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]])

* @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]]: From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
**{{Yo|DanielTom}} Thanks for providing this interesting commentary, and for pinging me.
{{Collapse top|Comment struck by OP}}
&lt;s&gt;**Here is what I find troubling in the case of the so-called &quot;sock&quot; [[USER:FcoonerBCA]] (who tried to comunicate with me on my user-talkpage):
**According to the  [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/FcoonerBCA global lock notice]  this user was globally '''locked before making any edits to any wmf-site''', I think? The user was globally locked by a steward on November 2, but apparently managed to make 50 edits to 6 separate wmf-sites starting on November 3 and ending November 8, with one of the blocks happening on December2? Just my $.02[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:18, 29 December 2020 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;
{{Collapse bottom}}

This is what users who actually looked into the block [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Wim_b#Global_block_of_Risto_hot_sir said] : 
:: '''I know [[User:Risto hot sir|Risto hot sir]] as a comprehensive contributor to  (Latin Wikiquote). Especially his work on  I consider as remarkable and very useful for the benefits of all Latin language Wikimedia projects. Therefore I can't understand, why his account is treated like those of evil spamming and vandalizing intruders, that cause damage to the Foundation's projects. After reading of Risto's permanent global lock, I did some research to understand what had happened, but I didn't find any behaviour that would have to be blamed on him and justified such a harsh treatment. Could you please point me to some facts, specifically, that show the &quot;blatant crosswiki abuse&quot;? Thank you. '''

:: '''Over the years I have crossed paths with Risto many times on the English and Italian Wikiquote and as far as I know it does not seem to me that he has done anything destructive. Where he makes inaccuracies, however, he willingly accepts corrections and cancellations and knows how to improve. Given that he has intervened on so many projects it is natural that he has had problems in someone, his problem is being too active, so to speak, but the global blockade seems to me an excessive measure. '''

:: '''From the viewpoint of Estonian Wikiquotes and Wikipedia, Risto hasn't done anything to deserve the block, hence I see no reason to block an active user from one project just because somebody on a completely different project hates them. And some people certainly have it in for them, because while there are articles about him in Finnish and Estonian Wikipedia, in both of which the local community has discussed their relevance and decided to let it be, some emissaries have been traipsing through, seeking for revenge, and demanding that the natives would delete the articles. That's certainly an interesting attitude.'''

This user has edited almost all wikis. There are hundreds or thousands of them. On some of these small wikis it is very easy to get blocked for some trivial thing. Once Risto got blocked on one small wiki, one can assume here, the next overzealous admin or other user with personal vendettas only had to say this user is already blocked at this small wiki and therefore he should be blocked on this wiki for some trivial thing too, and then he got another block on yet another wiki. And after 3 or 4 of such blocks he got locked.

As [[w:David Auerbach|David Auerbach]] wrote in a well known article about wikis, [https://slate.com/technology/2014/12/wikipedia-editing-disputes-the-crowdsourced-encyclopedia-has-become-a-rancorous-sexist-mess.html the problem instead stems from the fact that administrators and longtime editors have developed a fortress mentality in which they see new editors as dangerous intruders who will wreck their beautiful encyclopedia, and thus antagonize and even persecute them,] and Risto editing in hundreds of wikis increased the risk of this happening to him.  This is what could happen to an user like Risto who edits hundreds of wikis. He only needs to have such a problem in one percent of the wikis he edits, to set in motion a chain reaction. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;&lt;b&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; 22:34, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
:*This doesn't really require a master's thesis. A sock is a user who is evading a block by using a different account, rather than going through the normal unblocking procedure. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 23:36, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

::: @GreenMeansGo, how do you know that all socks never tried to get unblocked? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:44, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

:::: &quot;The normal unblocking procedure&quot; has lasted 16 months. &quot;Hierarchy über alles?&quot;--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 23:59, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

::::: @80.223.94.56: Are you saying that the average time for  a blocked user to be unblocked is 16 months? If so, is that specuation? An average? A median? What is your source? thanks in advance. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:17, 28 December 2020 (UTC)
::::*  Note: 80.223.94.56 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A80.223.94.56 has been blocked] by a local WQ admin. It was my understanding based on a previous post by another local admin that &lt;blockquote&gt;No one gets blocked merely for expressing their views&lt;/blockquote&gt;???  [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]])

::::It doesn't really matter whether you &quot;tried to get unblocked&quot;. There is no &quot;right to contribute&quot;. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 00:13, 28 December 2020 (UTC)

=== Statement by Vermont ===
Okay. I don't exactly have the time to address the problems of every comment here, as that would take a while, but let me recap the Risto hot sir situation for everyone:
*Contributor on a handful of wikis, history of being highly obsessed with edit count (listing it manually on every user page on basically every wiki), and often unwilling to communicate constructively with others.
*One day, Risto decided to start adding images from one Wikiquote article onto Wikiquote articles (and some Wikipedia articles) with the same name in dozens of other languages.
*Many of these images either didn't exactly fit with the article (different language), and a lot of them actually included English captions on non-English projects.
*Myself, other global sysops, and local editors noticed these mass-additions and started removing the English captions. In some cases, Risto reverted our removals, re-adding the English captions.
*Risto was asked on some of these Wikiquotes, by local administrators, to stop. Risto refused on some, and on others openly challenged the local administrators in a hostile manner.
*After a short period of time, Risto was blocked on: the English Wikipedia, the Dutch Wikipedia, the Dutch Wikiquote, the Spanish Wikiquote, and the Simple English Wikipedia. On each of these projects you can see Risto's edits and talk pages for the specific conversations and problems that preceded their blocks.
*Risto continued adding images to many articles cross-wiki, seemingly with no purpose other than to increase their edit count. Fortunately, they stopped using English captions, but their edits remained questionable in terms of helpfulness.
*Of course, up to this point nothing necessitated a lock, as though there were blocks on multiple projects there was no specific cross-wiki abuse.
*This changed when Risto created a sockpuppet account to edit their userpages on wikis where they were blocked. In creating a sockpuppet account to evade blocks on multiple projects, that constituted cross-wiki abuse, and there was no option other than a global lock. You cannot be an active sockmaster on 5 wikis and a constructive editor elsewhere. 
*After being locked, Risto started socking with IP addresses and other accounts, as well as leaving hostile comments to people he blames for the consequences of his cross-wiki abuse. 
*At this point, nearly a year and a half since the account was locked, Risto is considered a long-term abuser on multiple projects, and their accounts are blocked and locked on sight.
For more detailed general information (and what is basically a timeline), you can see Risto's talk page on this project and the comments myself and others left in May 2019 and later, their Meta-Wiki edits and content about them (specifically the section(s) about them on the Stewards Noticeboard), and related pages on the specific wikis they are blocked on. This is an incredibly straightforward case. Currently, they have been engaged in block and lock evasion for well over a year. No appeal is reasonably possible so long as they continue to be an LTA. If you have any questions, please ping me and I will be happy to answer them. Best regards, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 22:10, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

:{{Yo|Vermont}} Thanks for stepping forward to explain the point of view of (all?) Adminstrators and Stewards involved in the blocking and susequent global locking of [[User:Risto hot sir]]. I don't know about others, but I would like to see this user unblocked, so that they can answer these allegations. I don't believe it is a fair process otherwise. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:39, 1 January 2021 (UTC)
::They are not allegations, they are facts. Risto even acknowledges both the original sockpuppet (which they used to edit wikis they were blocked on) and their continued socking, even participating in this discussion. The lock can be appealed by emailing the Stewards, but I highly doubt there is a chance of it being a successful appeal, especially considering the dozens of socks and continuing socking. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 16:02, 1 January 2021 (UTC)
::::Thank you Vermont for this information. However without any diffs it makes it impossible to follow and check, especially because the edits are scattered across half a dozen or more wikis. In addition you should also mention the name of the sockpuppet account Risto used &quot;to edit their userpages on wikis where they were blocked&quot;. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 12:11, 2 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{Yo|Vermont}} I have a question regarding your opening comment where you said this about [[User: Risto hot sir]]: &lt;blockquote&gt;history of being highly obsessed with edit count &lt;/blockquote&gt;. 
:This is my question: do you  believe that Users in general should limit the number of edits they make? I believe such sentiments are usually expressed by [[w:Wikipedia:Recent changes patrol|patrollers]] who on enwiki are a group of editors &quot;who check the of various articles for inappropriate edits&quot; (I don't know if wikiquote has a similar group of editors checking [[special:Recentchanges]]) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:34, 9 January 2021 (UTC)
::Hello [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]]! I am not saying users should limit their edits; rather, I was implying that the general correlation of [[:w:en:WP:editcountitis|editcountitis]] and self-importance applies here. Generally, users so concerned with their outward appearance in edit count are less concerned with simply improving the project. One of Risto’s initial defenses for their disruptive image and caption adding was that a small percentage of their edits were contested; yes, only a few hundred out thousands, but for obvious reasons Risto’s logic in that is flawed.  Risto’s first sock was created to update their edit count figures on user pages at wikis they were blocked on. Hope this helps, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 22:08, 9 January 2021 (UTC)
:::It wasn't a sock but the other username mentioned long before the block. It had to be created due to vandalism. It wasn't blocked, and the user pages had false information. Is it really a sin to correct own user pages?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 22:50, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

Many times have I already told that I've emailed the Stewards 16 months ago. No answer. But let's look closer at the beginning:
- The Dutch wikiquote seems to want to block as many users as possible (see the editing history). The reason is often &quot;a typical name of a spammer&quot;.
- The Dutch wikipedia blocked me after a couple of contributions. &quot;Don't bite the newcomers&quot;?
- Vermont blocked me at Simple English wikipedia without me certainly having done anything disruptive there.
- At Spanish wikiquote I already wrote &quot;adios!&quot; politely - and got blocked immediately.
- At English wikipedia the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word.
- Vermont even thanked me for not copying English texts of images anymore. After that I've added thousands of images without revertings.
- &quot;Wanting to increase edit counts&quot; is ridiculous. Nobody would even know the amount unless some eager detectives had drawn them together.
So admins &quot;with severe conducting problems&quot; can do whatever they want, but why to let 'em vandalize friendly wikis (all but seven ones)? Comments please!--[[User:Armas Eesti|Armas Eesti]] ([[User talk:Armas Eesti|talk]]) 21:40, 1 January 2021 (UTC)

: I have also been blocked on Dutch Wikipedia. I didn't really break any rules, they just found my language ability to be deficient and blocked me. I would vouch for Risto Hot Sir to come back. As far as I have seen his edits have not been disruptive. But I agree with BD2412 that you should follow due appeal protocol and not create sock puppet accounts. [[User:Spannerjam|Spannerjam]] ([[User talk:Spannerjam|talk]]) 17:51, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

:::{{Yo|Spannerjam}} Nice to see more members of the WQ community chiming in. As far as:&lt;blockquote&gt;you should follow due appeal protocol and not create sock puppet accounts&lt;/blockquote&gt; [https://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/language/2012/09/120924_todays_phrase_horse_to_water.shtml You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink]? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:18, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

&lt;small&gt; Note: I have posted a notice on [[User talk:Tks4Fish |Tks4Fish 's talkpage]] letting them know about this discussion. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:43, 4 January 2021 (UTC) &lt;/small&gt;

:&quot;No one is as blind as the one who doesn't want to see.&quot;--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 21:37, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Risto continues to sock, both with accounts and IPs here. Again, so long as this remains true, no appeal for the lock or local blocks will be possible. And to address evident confusion from editors here, though Risto may not have engaged in disruptive editing on the English Wikiquote, their crosswiki abuse necessitated a lock. There is no button that blocks someone from every wiki except one, nor is there any logical reason for why such a person would continue to be entertained by the community. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 21:47, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

:&quot;Naughty boy, you shall not contribute, or...!&quot; So what's &quot;or&quot;? Just revert my useful edits - then we'll see what happens! One year ago I've waited long enough for the answers. The Stewarts should get rid of the harmful admins instead. Do you want the names? There's endless work to do to make wikis better - and I guess Vermont will not do my job.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:39, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

::Alsee (He-who-sees-everything) has plans to mass revert all my contributions. I'm not against it. So go on! - damnae memoriae.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 00:56, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

I-who-see-everything (because I have the extraordinary ability to click a contributions link?), say that this entire discussion should be shut down as a waste of time and more evidence of this user's disruptiveness. Crosswiki abuse and global locks are debated and resolved on Meta, not here. I have filed a request for a global IP rangeblock.

This user (Risto/IP) has abundantly demonstrated a gross disregard for community rules, both with flagrant socking and in general. Anyone who disagrees with them gets attacked and cast as a comic-book villain in their personal persecution drama. They are unwilling or unable to appropriately deal with disagreements with other editors. They believe they are right and that that ''entitles'' them to violate any and all rules, entitles them to wage a self-righteous war, and to attack editors/admins/stewards as villains. The most important criteria for working in a collaborative project is being willing and able to acceptably deal with others. Their posts in this section alone provide abundant evidence of the problem. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 08:19, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

{{anchor|Ehitaja}}
:In my experience, I have disagreed with Risto a lot, completely remade a lot of his pages and edits, and he has never attacked me or anyone else in the projects where I've been an active contributor (mostly, Estonian Wikipedia and Wikiquote). I find the attitude of the part of the English Wikipedia community that has decided they rule over all the other projects, high and mighty, and can make their dismissive judgement about those based on their personal likes and dislikes, much more troublesome. One example mentioned above: someone hops into a project in which they don't even speak the language, marks Risto's pages for deletion, and hops out, uninterested in any discussion or the opinion of the locals. Another example: in the discussion mentioned above in which a couple of English users decided to forbid adding English Wikiquote links into English Wikipedia, it was based on arguments like &quot;Wikiquote is broken, like Commons&quot;. English Wikiquote has a lot of problems, sure, but so does en.wp. And this colonial attitude does nothing to solve any problems. Like cited above, there are projects in which Risto has been clearly constructive, and blocking him there is NOT for the benefit of those project or their users. Risto has his faults, he doesn't take &quot;no&quot; for an answer and makes errors of judgement, but from the viewpoint of the projects where he has been useful, his faulty decisions are much less troublesome than those of the English community members who care nothing about the projects over which they exercise their powers. He may have been disruptive in some other project, but now this has turned just into game of whack-a-mole, where he's being blocked because he's being blocked. --[[User:Ehitaja|Ehitaja]] ([[User talk:Ehitaja|talk]]) 11:03, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

*{{Yo|Alsee}} Do you really believe this discussion is a waste of time and should be shutdown immediately? I agree that it is foolhardy to attack you personally in this forum that is populated mainly by locals, many of whom support [[User:Risto hot sir]]. I for one truly appreciate hearing from anyone who has views that are different than mine, and who does it without resorting to name-calling.

:I don't know if you, or any of the admins such as [[User: GreenMeansGo]] and [[User: Vermont]],  have ever been blocked, but as others who have participated in this discussion, I have (blocked 4 times and unblocked once, on other wmf sites).  There are tens of thousands of blocked accounts, and only a handful of them have been unblocked, and stayed unblocked. As you said, socking ( which is not the only reason for blocks) are a major problem which wastes a lot of productive time of many many volunteers. Even [[Jimbo]] said back in  2014  :&lt;blockquote&gt;A lot of them, they really cost more than they're worth&lt;/block&gt;

:However, I believe we have a unique opportunity here dealing with a [[/horse]] that many have tried to lead to water, but this horse can articulate  the reason for his refusal  to  drink. Not only that, this horse can apparently do this in several &quot;foreign&quot; Languages, something most here cannot. I therefore do not believe this discussion should be shutdown prematurely, before we as a community can learn from it. Opinions? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:52, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I see no productive discussion or outcome here. Crosswiki abuse and global locks are handled at Meta, and the individual involved is entrenched in warfare. They apparently feel entitled to flagrantly violate all rules and spew personal attacks. That's the end of that.
::You and I are willing to engage differing views, we are willing to respect rules and process and consensus when our personal views do not prevail. This user has positioned themselves as fundamentally at war with that. I accept the position they have defined for themself. That position is incompatible with participating in this community. Consider someone who gets a parking ticket, and escalates into a crusade against the establishment with subsequent felony convictions. They're not removed from society because of the parking ticket, they are removed from society because they are unwilling or unable behave in a civilized manner. This user knew they were violating the rules, and they just keep escalating and attacking. [[User:Alsee|Alsee]] ([[User talk:Alsee|talk]]) 23:07, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
:::The community should now realize that this is like fighting against an army of lawyers who try to prove that 2+2=5. In Europe we still believe in facts and common sense. Would you tell the Swedes - when I have the book of 17,000 quotes - that I can't write 'em? There hasn't been much progress recently at the sv-wq.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 01:32, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
::* {{Yo|Alsee}} You say that the fate of [[User:Risto hot sir]] should be discussed at Meta not ar WQ, but here is something you may have missed in this garbled discussion: there is a handful of ''WQ contributors'' and ''participants from other small wikis'' who support Risto's position. Those individuals would not be able to support Risto if the discussion was taking place at Meta. Why do I say this? Simply because WQ is a safe haven for users who post their opinions without fear of reprisal. Yes it is true that I myself have not resorted to sockpuppeting, but I am not allowed to participate in Meta discussions, so would not be able to participate in any discussion outside WQ.
::: As far as equating Risto with someone who gets a parking ticket, IMIO you are way off. Risto is fighting for his wiki-existence, not a wiki-parking ticket. Back to you and the comnuity, cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 00:57, 24 January 2021 (UTC)
::::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], Risto broke rules on multiple projects, and was blocked on those projects, some of which after heated and insulting arguments with local administrators. Risto created a sockpuppet to edit the projects they were blocked on. For cross-wiki abuse, they were locked. This is incredibly straightforward. Regarding Meta-Wiki, though I understand your view seems to be that every project except Wikiquote is full of admins who block users as reprisal for undesired opinions, your experience in that area is incredibly limited. In fact, Meta-Wiki is often (unfortunately) seen as a place for users blocked on other projects to go debate their issues, though we try to keep it limited to issues of cross-wiki importance. Regardless, as I noted when I imposed a block on your account back in April, I would be more than happy to review it were you to appeal the block. Your behavior now seems markedly different (in a good way) from your behavior then, when you were literally asking long-term vandals for advice, and as such the reasons for your block on Meta-Wiki no longer stand. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 00:59, 25 January 2021 (UTC)

=== Roadmap for readers (Babe kebab) ===
I came up with the following roadmap or those who are as confused as I am about ''what is what'' and ''who is who'' in the above discussion. I did this by simply following links available to anyone, registered or not (I think?).

I believe an informed community is a better community. I hope this roadmap helps readers get informed.

Babe kebab (A Globally locked WQ User)
* Babe kebab is the topic of this discussion ([[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Babe+kebab&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers WQ block log])
* Babe kebab is  a &quot;blatant Risto sock&quot; referring to [[User: Risto hot sir]] ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Risto+hot+sir&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers WQ block log])([https://xtools.wmflabs.org/ec/en.wikiquote/Risto%20hot%20sir supercount])
*[[User:80.223.94.56]] is a &quot;sock&quot; of Risto ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=80.223.94.56&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  WQ block log])
*[[User:Armas Eesti]] is also a &quot;sock&quot; of Risto  ([https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Armas+Eesti&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  WQ block log])
* There is no denial or dispute on socking. Risto socks and IPs often explicitly or implicitly acknowledge their identify. (Examples [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AWim_b&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=19346831&amp;oldid=19339814 IP 80.223.94.X acknowledges they were blocked as Risto and acknowledges owning the account used to circumvent their block], and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote%3AAdministrators%27_noticeboard&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=2901493&amp;oldid=2901490 Babe kebab confirms their prior edit count when identified as Risto])

BD2412 (WQ Admin and Bureaucrat)
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators#Bureaucrats_and_stewards Bureaucrat on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators Administrator on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikisource:Administrators Administrator] on ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Main_Page Wikisource])
*[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktinary:Administrators Administrator] on [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Main_Page Wiktionary]

GMG (WQ Admin and Bureaucrat)
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators#Bureaucrats_and_stewards Bureaucrat on WQ]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators Administrator on WQ]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Small_Wiki_Monitoring_Team member of the Small Wiki Monitoring Team]

Vermont (Global-sysop Meta Admin)
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Global_sysops Global sysop]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Meta:Administrators Meta:Administrator]
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Small_Wiki_Monitoring_Team member of the Small Wiki Monitoring Team]  
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/OTRS/Users OTRS/]User ([https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/OTRS Open-Source Ticket Request System])

Wim b (Steward who globally locked Risto hot sir)
*[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Stewards Steward]
*This user's main account is on the english [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Main_Page Wiktionary]
*[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sockpuppetry#Legitimate_uses alternative account] *[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/Wimmo Wimmo]

&lt;small&gt;Note: Please feel free to add yourself to this list (if you are a participant in this discussion) and to correct errors [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:41, 8 January 2021 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;

So I can't defend myself! And I wasn't the one who started personal attacks and rule breaking.--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 17:11, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
* I'm not sure what this discussion is supposed to accomplish. We cannot overturn a global lock even if we wanted to. It's not a function of any role in the local toolkit, nor within our power as members of the global community. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:42, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
** Wait, what?  We have no say in how our community is run? Would you please elaborate. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:18, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
** {{Yo|GreenMeansGo}} Your puzzling comment above forced me to start investigating policy, which is something I would rather not do. Here is what I found &lt;small&gt;(thanks to [[User: Alsee]])&lt;/small&gt; at  [[M:Stewards]]: &lt;blockquote&gt;The use of steward rights is restricted by policy; stewards will not use their technical access when there are local users who can use that access, except in emergencies. &lt;/blockquote&gt;
** So let me ask a stupid question: Since WQ has its own local admins why are Stewards involved here in the first place? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:04, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
***{{re|Ottawahitech}} Stewards may not intervene in an administrative function when there are sufficient local admins. A global lock is not an administrative function. It is exclusively a steward function. Even as a bureaucrat, I do not have the technical ability to either enact or override a global lock. By policy, they may not enact a global lock unless a user has been indefinitely banned on multiple projects, but once a lock is in place, appealing a local block is irrelevant. Only the stewards may reverse the action. Only then may local project decide to unblock. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:52, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
*** It is also worth noting that a global lock is ''global''. covering literally hundreds of Wikimedia projects, with there being well over a hundred languages have their own-language Wikipedia, and most of those having at least one other active Wikimedia project (a Wikiquote, Wiktionary, Wikisource, etc.) under that language. It may be unlikely that an editor globally locked solely for activity involving English language wikis will suddenly begin to misbehave on Latvian Wiktionary or Vietnamese Wikisource, but it is nonetheless impractical for each local Wiki to address the potential for a problematic editor to invade any one of those hundreds of sites. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 15:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Do those wikis want to be protectorates? Have you asked?

* Protectorates? Not entirely clear what this is supposed to mean. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:23, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

Read what Ehitaja wrote above.

===  The blocking of '''Risto hot sir''' ===
Here is my reading of this thread, so far:

This thread by [[User:BD2412]] which started out almost two months ago was about the globally blocked user [[User:Babe kebab]]. However right from the start it was apparent that the concern of this community is about the the blocking of [[User:Risto hot sir]]  who   was globally blocked on 20 August 2019 and chose to create socks in order  to continue their work on wmf-wikis. ''Babe kebab'' was one of the socks created by Risto for this purpose. Before being globally blocked Risto made 94,787 global edits.

Risto was never directly  blocked on enWQ where they made 39,148 edits (see [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=User%3ARisto+hot+sir&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;subtype= Risto's blocklog]). Only 2.5% of those edits have been deleted. (see [https://xtools.wmflabs.org/ec/en.wikiquote.org/Risto%20hot%20sir  Edit  counter supercount]) The block log on  the Finish WQ, where Risto made 28,778 edits, does show some  blocking activity (see: [https://fi.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Toiminnot:Loki/block&amp;page=Käyttäjä%3ARisto+hot+sir fiWQ block log]), in the Finish language. Those of us who do not speak Finish will have to use a translation program to follow what happened there or rely on the English testimony of Finish speakers.

The issue for this community is: why can't Risto continue editing here. Based on the testimony of local participants in this thread, Risto has been very beneficial at enWQ. There is also a more general concern starting to build up about the role Stewards play in such a cases.

Plug:     [[Wikiquote:Village_pump#WikiMedia_Foundation_Steward_elections_start_February_5,_2021|WikiMedia Foundation Steward elections start February 5, 2021]] [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:15, 3 February 2021 (UTC) Updated with links [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:15, 3 February 2021 (UTC)

:Risto claimed: no decent reasons for blocking have been represented and nobody is willing to admit it. - Instead of answering to the essential questions one Big Brother chose the easiest way: eliminating. From now on it's the question of freedom of speech. Risto also claimed  that users on Estonian Wikiquote said: Right now, this user has been only useful in this project. [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Savonhelmi]

:Looking at why he got blocked on the wiki projects, Risto said that the Dutch wikiquote and Dutch wikipedia block many users for no clear reasons at all. Another user Spannerjam also said that he got blocked on dutch wiki because he of language skills. At English wikipedia, Risto said the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word. It is claimed Risto was blocked because of personal attacks and censorship and bullying. I could not find clear personal attacks by this user Risto. It seems that the personal attack was when Risto said &quot;just despotism&quot; which he said in the heat of the moment. Is this remark &quot;just despotism&quot;  really a personal attack? Calling somebody a despot would be a personal attack but this? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 14:46, 15 February 2021 (UTC)

::Vermont used ONESTRIKE at Simple English wikipedia to block Risto hot sir &lt;s&gt;(and Ottawahitech also)&lt;/s&gt;. Should there have been at least one disruptive edit to do so? And Spanish wikiquote presented no reason for blocking. Everything's OK?--[[Special:Contributions/80.223.94.56|80.223.94.56]] 00:54, 17 February 2021 (UTC) comment stricken by [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)

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{{Yo|80.223.94.56}} I appreciate your continued participation but must make a factual correction: I was NOT blocked by [[User:Vermont]] on simple. Here is my block log: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special%3AContributions%2FOttawahitech [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:27, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
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==== Opinions: Risto should NOT have been blocked ====
Some users have said that the blocks were political. Risto also said that his socking was for [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Xaosflux&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2491577 technical reason] here, and it seems some have misrepresented this. Some of the users have made the completely absurd and mendacious claim that I was a sock of this user, which makes one question if the claims about this user are as absurd.

His other crime was censorship. Even if Risto was guilty of crime of censorship he should have gone through dispute resolution before being blocked. Other users have said Risto's censorship was mistakenly called 'vandalism' when it is just a content dispute. Risto explained, this seemed to be quite clearly a case of censorship (wanting to prevent people to read quotes). Risto said Wikiquote does not care who is right or wrong, all quotes of notable people are welcome.
*Clarification. By Risto's crime of censorship is of course meant the crime of his '''opposition''' to censorship, censorship is not a crime on wikipedia. Risto said: no decent reasons for blocking have been represented and nobody is willing to admit it. - Instead of answering to the essential questions one Big Brother chose the easiest way: eliminating. From now on it's the question of freedom of speech. And Risto said:- At English wikipedia the keyword was &quot;censorship&quot;. People who want to prevent folks to read other opinions than theirs don't like that word.

Risto's other crime was bullying in wikipedia, like adding interwiki links at wikipedia. This bullying (adding interwiki links on WP) was disliked by User Sitush, but some users have said this is a content dispute instead. The same user Sitush also opposes the addition of other interwiki links, like links to Italian language wikipedia, and various other wikipedians have opposed various interwiki links for various reasons.

For example, another reason for Risto's block at wikipedia, Risto adding an image with a quote to an article was called 'vandalism' and reverted. As David Auerbach wrote in a well known article about wikis, the problem instead stems from the fact that administrators and longtime editors have developed a fortress mentality in which they see new editors as dangerous intruders who will wreck their beautiful encyclopedia, and thus antagonize and even persecute them, and this could be what happened there, where simply adding an image or trying to make a very biased article more neutral can get you blocked. He may have been blocked for adding WQ links to WP and adding an image with a quote in two articles at wikipedia, and the wikipedia articles were extremely pov and it seems that Risto's attempt at NPOV was disliked.  But this was a BLP article that contained BLP violations, and BLP policy in theory should protect users who attempt at NPOV.

Risto should have gone through dispute resolution and some users have said what happened instead is that some wikipedians asked their admin-friends on wikipedia to get Risto blocked.

For example, in a similar case, when one googles the same involved users in the Risto case, the same users who got Risto blocked on WP, first result is this comment 
:&quot;A great example of the problems Bishonen's power causes..... There is no reason at all that little Sitush needs to ask the opinion of this one Administrator, his Queen and protector. The query could easily be raised on AN/I, or an Administrator could be summoned to the AfD where the issue is relevant, and has already been discussed there, between editors. The only reason he has come crawling to his Queen, cap in hand, is because he thinks she will help him, because he, of course, already has a strong opinion. He doesn't think it should be acceptable, not least since it reduces the chances he will be on the winning side at that AfD, and so he hopes Bishonen will warn or even block for it, and strike every canvassed vote. He may be out of luck, since as I've said before, Bishonen isn't minded to do stupid stuff just because one of her stupid little gang wants her to. But they still ask, because if they were smart, they wouldn't need her protection.&quot;

I'm not saying that this is exactly what happened with Risto. In the Risto case Sitush did not go trough dispute resolution about Risto, and did not go to a neutral noticeboard, but asked Bishonen. Risto should have gone through dispute resolution. And Risto was also accused of canvassing. But other users said canvassing  and forum shopping can also be when one asks like minded, involved admins (involved due to many prior similar interactions and same support), instead of going trough a dispute resolution processes. Risto was blocked soon after Sitush asked Bishonen about Risto.

Other users have said this blocking of Risto is typical how many honest  contributors like Risto-hot-sir are driven away or outright blocked simply because they criticize NPOV or BLP violations for example.

Did Risto receive  a reason based on wikipedia policy for the ban?

Some users said that adding &quot;interwiki links to Wikipedia articles&quot; is not against wikipedia policy, somoe wikipedians have also opposed even interwiki links to the Italian language wikipedia and to other wikipedia projects.

Other users said, I would dare to say that Wikipedia has become a rather unfriendly place, where the police shoot first, and ask questions later. Sadly this frustrated and driven out many regular, honest contributors.

Risto was  one of our best and most active editors at WQ. I believe that if an editor was so useful to WQ as a tireless wikignome and asset to the project, he should not have been treated this way. For example, admins could have asked for a block review. Some users said his crime it seems was trying to argue against censorship or bias. By looking at what other users have said about the blocking of Risto, I have still not found out which wikipedia policy merits such a treatment. --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 18:56, 27 February 2021 (UTC)

: @ო Thank you so much for carrying out this elaborate research. It must have taken you a lot of time, and it is appreciated.

: I would also like to share some information pertinent to this case. I believe that Risto should NOT have been globally locked by [[User: Wim b]] at the request of global sysadmin [[User:Vermont]]. I believe Risto's global lock was done in contravention of written policy:
:* [[Meta:Global bans]]
:* [[Meta:Global blocks]]

: Here is my interpretation of these two policies: 
:* Global locks are reserved for blocking users who engage in cross-wiki unambiguous vandalism, spamming, etc. on wmf-wikis.  Global blocks are NOT  intended to cover &quot;trolling&quot; or similar behaviour, let alone content disputes. The  latter should be handled via a Global ban.

:* A Global ban is  a formal revocation of editing or other access privileges (use of &quot;Special:EmailUser&quot; for example) across all Wikimedia projects. It reflects a broad and clear '''community consensus'''. Here is an [[M:Requests for comment/Slowking4|example of an RFC]] initiated with the intention of Globally banning a wikimediqn active at a different wmf-wiki.

: Since I am currently blocked on Meta, I would like to state that I am  posting this in order to share information with other wikiquotians. I am not asking anyone to  &quot;edit by proxy&quot; on Meta on my behalf. Just to clarify [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:47, 27 February 2021 (UTC)
::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], I'll explain it again. Risto's lock has nothing to do with a content dispute. Risto's lock was in response to their creation of a sockpuppet to evade blocks on multiple projects. That is unambiguous cross-wiki abuse. Further, after their lock they continued creating sockpuppets, and are ''still'' evading their lock and blocks. Best, [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 00:45, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
:::Could you please explain your ONESTRIKE at Simple English wikipedia? And why haven't you reverted the about 30,000 edits that Risto's &quot;sockpuppets&quot; have done? How many LOCAL admins support your opinions?--[[User:Ivalon Olavi|Ivalon Olavi]] ([[User talk:Ivalon Olavi|talk]]) 01:50, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::::Hello, {{u|Ivalon Olavi}}. ONESTRIKE is used on simple wiki to block problematic users who are banned in other projects, so as Ritso was then banned in some projects, hence, {{u|Vermont}} used this reason to block him. It is a blocking decision done by an individual admin and no consensus is needed for ONESTRIKE. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 15:01, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::::I am a local admin (and checkuser) on the Simple English Wikipedia. As for how many other local admins there agree with my block, probably all of them, as I am unaware of any who endorse sockpuppetry and disruptive editing. And regarding your current cross-wiki abuse (multiple socks and IPs adding images with English captions to small wikis), please stop. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:46, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

Cannot find such images.

=== There is no way to appeal Global-locks on-wiki ===

The only way to appeal Global-locks is thru email! This was confirmed by [[User:MarcoAurelio]] who is a Steward participating in the current 2021-Steward-elections: &lt;blockquote&gt; The only way globally locked users can appeal their locks is though OTRS at {{email|stewards|wikimedia.org}} &lt;/blockquote&gt;

For original text:

[[Meta:Talk:Stewards/Confirm/2021/MarcoAurelio#Official appeal procedure for globally locked users]]. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 15 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why are we discussing here ===
Hello, as someone reading into this, why are we discussing the lock of someone here. Appeals to global lock will be done via email to stewards using stewards@wikimedia.org. I will suggest those who are asking for an unlock or whatsoever to email to that address. Discussing here isn't productive and won't lead to an unlock anyway. My 2 cents. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 14:59, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
* Risto has emailed to stewards 1,5 years ago (two times) and hasn't got an answer.--[[User:Ivalon Olavi|Ivalon Olavi]] ([[User talk:Ivalon Olavi|talk]]) 16:13, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
::Generally speaking, stewards do not consider appeals by actively-editing LTAs. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:48, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
* {{Yo| Camouflaged Mirage}} the reason I am discussing this here is because I believe that Stewards are interfering with this community's ability to build content to share with the world at large. Why did Sewards globally lock Risto without community input as the process in [[Meta:Global bans|Meta's own policy]] requires? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:33, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
**{{re|Ottawahitech}} That global ban =/= global lock. Global lock policy is at [[Meta:Global lock]]. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 18:50, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
*** {{Yo|Camouflaged Mirage}}  Global lock is not listed as a Meta policy, it is simply an essay. Please see: [[Meta:Meta:Policies and guidelines]]. Regards, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:09, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
****{{re|Ottawahitech}} Yeah, but as the page writes &quot;There is no community-approved policy governing global locks, but this list represents de facto practice.&quot;, so that is the de facto policy. They are globally locked so this is what applies, not global bans content. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 13:34, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
* There is literally nothing a local discussion can accomplish. And no, the stewards are highly unlikely to unlock an account that is actively involved in lock evasion.
: If someone wants to make a symbolic act of protest, then symbolic act of protest noted. There is nothing else to do here. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 17:36, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
:: {{Yo|:GreenMeansGo}} I beg to differ. As [[Jimmy Wales]] said: &lt;blockquote&gt;We should be: kind, thoughtful, passionate about getting it right, open, tolerant of different viewpoints, open to criticism, bold about changing our policies and also cautious about changing our policies&lt;/blockquote&gt;

:: Why imply this community has no say in how Stewards conduct themselves? Why are Stewards removing contributing members of this community?  Why can we not openly discuss issues with the way we are being treated by Stewards?

:: I have been working on [[WQ:SheSaid]] a project started here last year by [[User:Anthere]] (see: [[Wikiquote:Village_pump_archive_57#SheSaid]]) alongside with other committed members of the WQ community. Stewards have been interfering with the composition of the small group of individuals who have  been working tirelessly at WQ to build up content here. A loss of an active contributor is a blow to those of us working in this area. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:21, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::I'm not &quot;implying&quot; anything at all. Local communities do not exercise oversight regarding global actions. I'm sorry that this isn't a deeply satisfying answer, but it's the only answer there is to give. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:39, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], if your definition of a constructive, active contributor is an editor with well over a year of cross-wiki disruption experience, dozens of locked sockpuppets, and multiple conduct-related blocks on their initial account, there is nothing to discuss. You're simply wrong. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:03, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
:::Expanding on the above, let me supply an analogy: John works at a store. Steve also works at that store. One day, John decides it would be a good idea to throw rocks at the windows of other stores. John is arrested. Steve, who liked the work that John did at their store, demands that John be released because it harms the output of their store. Is that reasonable? No. Why? Because releasing John would mean that they could continue to vandalize other stores. We do not prioritize any one project by unlocking a user who has dozens of sockpuppets blocked on other projects. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 17:07, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

::::: @Vermont: If john was the only person in the neighborhood throwing rocks, and Steve the only one complaining I would probably agree with you. However what we are witnessing here is thousands of users throwing rocks and many honest citizens upset at the police (admins/stewards), not at the rock-throwers. Maybe it's time to ask John why he is throwing rocks? Why is he willing to risk his  job? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:29, 5 March 2021 (UTC)

=== Appeal for an enwikiquote sysop to close this section ASAP ===
This had turned into mudslinging where a gloablly locked user, via IP socks as proxies, are able to hurl such insults to some other users [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=2935813 in this diff] and the rest. This is clearly grossly unacceptable behaviour and should be stop as soon as possible. This thread should be immediately closed to prevent more such occurrences. Thanks. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 13:40, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:22, 8 March 2021 (UTC)

===  Request to reconsider the closing the above discussion ===
{{Yo|DannyS712}} I would like you to reconsider your closing of this discussion. As one of the main contributors to the discussion, I believe you did not read it carefully enough before reaching your conclusions, while basing your decision on the request of one participant who, I also believe, did not fully take the time to try and understand the issues we were discussing.

The reason the WQ community got invloved in this lengthy discussion is:
* Evidence that Risto's global block/lock is not based on policy, indeed an example was provided of another user accused of of being sockpuppeter who escaped a Global block/lock after the community was allowed to participate in the discussion as per Steward policy.
* The concept that the admin function is to serve the community, not to control it.
* The rights of this comunity to conduct its own affairs without intervention from outside interests

Many participants came here in good faith to voice their opinions in a respectful manner. There was also participation from the blocked user, which I am surprised to see is not welcomed by some. What a missed opportunity to try and understand why so many users keep coming back as socks ([[w:Category:Wikipedia sockpuppeteers|over 20,000]] at enwiki alone). Regardless of your opinion of the merits of those edits, removal of those comments from the discussion are not acceptable in a civil discussion when the alternative is to collapse them. That way someone's words are not permanently removed from the archive records, but are not visible to those who choose not to see them.

'''I would greatly appreciate others giving DannyS712, whose opinion I respect, a chance to reply fully before burrying this thread with their own opinions'''. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:52, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

::This was Ottawahitech's last edit before he blanked his userpage and appears to have retired from wikiquote. Another valuable and active wikignome lost? --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 14:43, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

:@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] &quot;There was also participation from the blocked user, which I am surprised to see is not welcomed by some.&quot; you should not be surprised that blocked users are not welcome. I read through the whole discussion repeatedly, contrary to your assertion. I based my decision on relevant policies and the discussion that played out, not the views of one participant. As for whether or not Risto's lock was not based on policy, again, that should be taken up with stewards. The essay [[:w:Wikipedia:Just drop it]] comes to mind - you are also starting a discussion at [[Wikiquote:Village pump#Closing discussion because of so-called %22mudslinging%22]]. Enough is enough. [[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 16:29, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
:Also, removal of comments by LTAs is absolutely acceptable, when the alternative (to collapse them) lends them more legitimacy [[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 16:30, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I think DannyS712 had made his point clear. I shall then make my point as you desired. Contrary to your assertion, I had read through the entire discussion multiple times before making the request. In addition, I would doubt those discussions are civil in nature, the very diff that prompted me to label the input of a risto hot sir IP sock (which is globally blocked) is clearly not civil as explained at [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Leaderboard&amp;diff=2936524&amp;oldid=2936486#You_are_way_out_of_line here]. In addition, you had taken this issue up at your talkpage, here on AN, on the village pumps and the talk pages of several users. I think this isn't helpful to the discussion to have it at many disparate pages. [[User:Camouflaged Mirage|Camouflaged Mirage]] ([[User talk:Camouflaged Mirage|talk]]) 16:44, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
* The discussion is closed. Take it up with the stewards. As has been repeatedly explained, there is nothing to do here. Repeatedly opening this discussion in multiple forums is beginning to border on disruption. Take it up at meta. Reopening this discussion is not advised. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:48, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
{{Archive bottom}}

== 68.193.175.208 ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|DannyS712}}
:{{ping|Tegel}}
:{{ping|Saroj Uprety}}

{{vandal|68.193.175.208}}

:Possible sockpuppet of problematic editor Fourlaxers, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_8&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2954166 constistently makes incorrect edits without providing legal, reliable sources] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_16&amp;diff=2954165&amp;oldid=2954156 violates rules on quote limitations] (while also adding [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Simpsons/Season_8&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2952682 excessive unnecessary emphasis]). I request indefinite protection of all those articles, and that the IP be blocked for a long period of time. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:00, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

== Plumerlumber ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|DannyS712}}
:{{ping|Tegel}}
:{{ping|Saroj Uprety}}

{{vandal|Plumerlumber}}

:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Brother_Bear&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=2954283&amp;oldid=2954227 Consistently violates rules on quote limitations], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wreck-It_Ralph&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2954229 adds excessive unnecessary categories], etc. Requesting any term of blocking of this user and indefinite protection of all articles they touched. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:03, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: There are no rules on quote limitations. For ''proposed'' rules see [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]]. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:26, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::1. You are not helping. [[User talk:73.244.34.177|IP user 73.244.34.177]] had numerous blocks for the same reason: Persistent copyright violations. [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A73.244.34.177 See its block log].
:::2. This is not [[WQ:VIP]]. I am reporting a problematic editor, not a vandal. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:30, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: I hereby state why I don't have the right to edit Wikiquotes page? This is my first time editing Wikiquotes. The page says you can help by editing. So the first page I edited was the page Wreck-It Ralph. As I am very interested in these articles, I thought why not edit them? So the first edit was adding these two casts. Taffyta Muttonfudge (voice) and Markowski (voice). If you can reference the original Wikipedia article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wreck-It_Ralph, the casts are stated there too. Next I added categories of 2010s American animated films, American children's animated comic science fiction films, American children's animated science fantasy films, Category:American computer-animated films, Category:Animated films about friendship, Category:Animated buddy films, Category:Films about children to the categories list. That is all I did for that page. And the user DawgDeputy reverted the edits stating the reason was &quot;Wrong categories.&quot; If you can happen to view the original Wikipedia article the same categories are listed. I tried to do the same thing to two other articles as you can see in my log. However this user DawgDeputy, whom I am assuming is a moderator is ruthlessly reverting my edits as if I am some sort of vandal. I want to edit in good faith. What am I even doing wrong. I might have hurt his sentiments by adding a lead to Brothers Bear page, but its stated the same in its Wikipedia article. I don't want to be confrontational at all. Seeing how there are actually moderators above. I really want to get an answer why my categories are wrong, why my edits are false, why I am a copyright vandal or a problematic editor? I am threatened with possible IP ban when all I want to do is simple edits? [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:11, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
* {{re|DawgDeputy}} It's difficult to tell how something like [[Wreck-It Ralph]] doesn't qualify as a &quot;American computer-animated film&quot;. I'm inclined to point out that you are required, and not requested to discuss disagreements with other users before you come here demanding indefinite blocks and indefinite protections. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 17:29, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: First and foremost, if you have &quot;open eyes&quot; go to Wikipedia page for Wreck-it-Ralph and scroll down to categories section, and search for the term &quot;American computer-animated films.&quot; If you have &quot;eyes&quot; you should be able to locate the category. Now This film is American and it is computer animated. So I simply copied and pasted that category from Wikipedia to Wikiquotes. Do you have a problem with me doing that? Second of all what does the last part of your sentence even mean? When did I &quot;demanding indefinite blocks and indefinite protections.&quot; All I said previously was &quot;moderators&quot; please tell me what am I doing wrong. I did not demand anything.  [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:33, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

* First, while yes we want to trim quotes to a reasonable level when they get out of hand, it is correct that we do not have anything but a proposed rule with regards to limits on the number of quotes. Second, I don't believe that the categories that were added in your example were inappropriate - they seem to fit to the work on the page. Third, while there does seem to be a disagreement between you and this user, I fail to see why they should be blocked indefinitely - and your demand that they be so blocked just seems like another example of hostile behavior towards other users who do not share your views. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:37, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::None of them do. Some were even redundant. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:06, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:: The limits on quotation states &quot;Five quotes maximum per hour, i.e., about one quote every 12 minutes. Quotes not assigned to specific characters are discarded. Recommended maximum length of quotes: seven lines by one character, ten lines of dialogue. Taglines do not count towards the total number of quotes.&quot; I will abide by that rules. All I did was add a two line quote to one of the articles. All I want to do now is add a lead to Brothers Bear, add categories, and I won't even add a quote now to Brothers Bear. Deal? Seriously, this user is acting as if I am some sort of Disney attacker. I am not. I am actually unemployed, very poor currently. ~ Plumerlumber 13:47, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::: I added categories to two articles and a lead to one article. I am stating it my actions beforehand showing I am not a vandal. Plumerlumber 14:31, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::: Who said you were a vandal? You are nothing more than problematic. Major difference. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:27, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Admins I request you to look into this issue. I edited to the barest minimum. I used the principle of least privilege and even then user DawgDeputy reverted my edits. This user has some sort of vendetta against me ever since I started editing. I will continue to revert the user's edits, because I don't see where I am wrong. If need be the user is the one who needs to be put into the noticeboard, not me. [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 20:46, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::Redundancy is where you are wrong. Adding categories that do not fit the article, as well as categories that are not necessary. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:42, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::Second time reverting edits by Dawg.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 00:30, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::::Numerous problematic IP users made similar edits on numerous articles long before you, and they were all undone (because they were wrong). I have no vendetta against you in particular. Just the edits. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 03:08, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::::Third time reverting edits by Dawg.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 13:11, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::::::Will you stop pointing out how many times I am undoing your unnecessary edits? It is unnecessary to do so. You really need to leave the articles alone until a consensus is reached. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:12, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
: No discussion at [[Talk:Wreck-It Ralph]]? If I were an admin I'd be considering blocking you both for a week for edit warring. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:28, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:: I find [[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]]'s activities here to be suspiciously precocious and aggressive, given that they only created an account a few days ago and have [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth?target=Plumerlumber never had any activity on any other wiki]. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 20:19, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::: Did you mean to say &quot;never had any activity ''using the Plumerlumber user name'' on any other wiki&quot;? Or is there a rule against using different names on different wikis? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 21:29, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::::::: All usernames are global now, meaning that if you register for a username on any wiki, you have that username on all wikis. Wikimedia is a single and entire project. The prohibition against using multiple accounts on a single wiki reasonably should carry over to other wikis. I can't think of an above-board reason why an editor on one wiki would want to conceal this activity in editing another. As for this specific editor, unless they choose to identify some other username under which they have edited elsewhere, there is no way to know that they have edited other wikis (or here) under a different username. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 18:23, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
::: Hello everyone I decided not to edit Wikiquotes anymore. I mean it said in the account creation page, Wikiquote is made my people like you. &quot;Anyone can edit pages in Wikiquote, including this one - just select the Edit this Page link on the top or bottom of this page if you think it needs improvement. You don't need special credentials, you don't even need to be logged in. You can try your hand at editing in our sandbox.&quot; So I created an account. Doesn't mean I have to do my same account from Wikipedia. Then I edited using the principle of least privilege which is categories. I even tried to say how Brothers Bear was the last traditional animated film from Disney. The only quotes I added was a two line quote that was missing in Brothers Bear. Apparently, all I did was wrong. Everything was problematic, redundant, and harmful including the categories from the literal Wikipedia page, the Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB external links and that lead in Brothers Bear. My contributions are simply like dirt to people like you. I don't want to fight or be confrontational. I simply quit. Thanks for everything.[[User:Plumerlumber|Plumerlumber]] ([[User talk:Plumerlumber|talk]]) 20:40, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::: Do we still have the rule &quot;Don't bite newcomers&quot;?--[[User:Arvatkaa Kuka|Arvatkaa Kuka]] ([[User talk:Arvatkaa Kuka|talk]]) 01:27, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Where has that ever been &quot;the rule&quot; on this project? [[WQ:BITE]] has been a ''proposal'' since 2006. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 06:11, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
::::: Arvatkaa Kuka, BD2412 has concluded that Plumerlumber is not a newcomer to Wikimedia wikis and, hence, does not entitled to the protection of that &lt;s&gt;rule&lt;/s&gt; courtesy. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 15:25, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
:::::: Even if they were, &quot;Don't bite newcomers&quot; is not a suicide pact. A newcomer who immediately engages in uncivil conduct or makes counterproductive edits after being informed of policies against them need not be given free reign to continue this behavior. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 17:50, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
Thanks for the information!--[[User:Arvatkaa Kuka|Arvatkaa Kuka]] ([[User talk:Arvatkaa Kuka|talk]]) 18:15, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
== [[Special:AbuseFilter/24]] ==

The message to display on error is &quot;undefined&quot;, which should be fixed. [[User:Leaderboard|Leaderboard]] ([[User talk:Leaderboard|talk]]) 10:03, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
== Wikipedia sockpuppets- blocks needed ==

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Incidents#Wikipedia:Sockpuppet_investigations/Zjholder_issues Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents#Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Zjholder issues] should do all the explaining.

Blocks needed here for:
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Tessssticle_keep_going_up_and_down_up_and_down Tessssticle keep going up and down up and down]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Mjforrest_448484 Mjforrest 448484]
*[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Forrestisback29912 Forrestisback29912]

Thanks in advance. [[User:Magitroopa|Magitroopa]] ([[User talk:Magitroopa|talk]]) 15:18, 17 May 2021 (UTC)
== [[Template:Italic title]] ==

Anyone know why this particular template seems to be having an issue? Specifically, when it is used, a warning appears saying &quot;Warning: This page calls Template:Italic title which causes a template loop (an infinite recursive call).&quot; and the effect desired by the use of the template does not appear to work. I can't see any difference in the code for the template compared to its past versions (before vandalism). This is where my lack of technical knowledge appears - I don't understand what is wrong with it. Does anyone know? Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:58, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
* The problem was vandalism in the underlying {{tl|Str find}} template, now reverted and protected. This particular vandal of multiple addresses has been very busy. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:01, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
== Removal of interface administrator permission ==

Dear bureaucrats ({{ping|BD2412|GreenMeansGo|UDScott|p=}}), {{user|~riley}} requested [[:m:Special:Diff/21559113/prev|yesterday on Meta-Wiki]] that his administrator and interface-administrator permissions on this project be removed. Given that interface administrator is a flag that can be granted and removed locally, could you please assist us in completing his request for removal of permissions? Thanks. Best regards, -- [[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 19:36, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}}. One hand giveth... [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 21:06, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
* Hmm. This is unfortunate. I apologize I wasn't available. I've had little to no internet for the past few weeks. {{re|~riley}} Hope all is well. If you ever need a sounding board I believe you already have my email. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:24, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
== spam ==

Pierce129 has been [[Special:Contributions/Pierce129|spamming]] a certain online quotes database into some articles. All of them have been reverted because that's evidently why he's only here for. At worst, he may even be that site's webmaster. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 21:59, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
:although he hasn't edited anything in ten days (and got reverted by @BD2412, something may have to be done.--[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 23:37, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
== Total Drama Action ==

*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Koavf}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

[[Total Drama Action]] is the target of persistent LTA IP vandals who refuse to comply with the rules. It has been the same situation for over half a year. &quot;Deleted sence&quot;? &quot;Anime&quot; characters on a Canadian animated series from an entirely different company? Clearly vandalism. Requesting indefinite blocking. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:18, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
:Protected. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:41, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
I tried checking certain articles (Star Wars films and Behind Enemy Lines), and they redirect to this article under a template loop. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 10:20, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
::{{vandal|Evilasio DP. Jr2}}
::And now one of those vandals is trying to circumvent the protection of [[Total Drama Action]] and trying to restore its vandalism without any explanation as to why. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:05, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
:::And deny this user access to any talk page, including its own. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:01, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Evilasio_DP._Jr2&amp;diff=2973616&amp;oldid=2973580 And here] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=2973512&amp;oldid=2971896 is our evidence.] [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:22, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Koavf}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:::::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Evilasio_DP._Jr2&amp;diff=2973882&amp;oldid=2973787 That vandal is persistent. It is obvious it will not stop until it gets its way.] Revoke this user's talk page access. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:45, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 11:54, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
::And just to make sure no further vandalism is done, I request indefinite full protection on all Total Drama-related articles and any or all future sockpuppets (IP or legit) be denied talk page access upon their blocking. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:32, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
== Problematic IPs on the loose... ==

* {{IPvandal|24.185.151.3}}
* {{IPvandal|24.190.63.62}}

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

These IPs have been repeatedly problematic in its edits, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Thomas_and_the_Magic_Railroad&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=2975451 making absolutely unnecessary changes to articles], [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame_(1996_film)&amp;diff=2972542&amp;oldid=2968382 adding too many quotes to certain articles in violation of copyright], etc. These IPs must be blocked severely, and the articles protected from future IP vandals indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:59, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=A_Bug%27s_Life&amp;diff=2975852&amp;oldid=2975824 And the vandalism] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=A_Bug%27s_Life&amp;diff=2975824&amp;oldid=2975184 continues]. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:12, 27 June 2021 (UTC)
== Missing file on QOTD ==

Hi, [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/July 10, 2021|today's QOTD]] on the main page has a missing picture which was deleted on Commons. Could it be removed or replaced? Also see [[Talk:Main Page#Missing picture on the QOTD|section on Talk:Main Page]]. Thanks, [[User:Aranya|Aranya]] ([[User talk:Aranya|talk]]) 17:50, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
: The missing image has now been replaced. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:30, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
== Rugrats vandalism ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}

[[Rugrats]] is the target of [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Rugrats&amp;diff=2981764&amp;oldid=2981459 misinformation from unreliable sources] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Rugrats&amp;diff=2981318&amp;oldid=2979887 attacking users]. Indefinite protection of the article and indefinite/global blocking of the IPs is appropriate. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 11:57, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
:I've protected the page for a month. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:41, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
:I recommend making the protection of that page indefinite. Considering how these IP vandals keep ranting and raving in utter denial, and denying that IMDB can easily be doctored like Wikipedia and Wikiquote, they will not stop until they get their way or are otherwise dealt with for good. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:06, 14 July 2021 (UTC)

== Protection ==

Please protect (or delete) [[User talk:64.107.219.162]]: excessive vandalism from WMF-banned user. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:29, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
== Protection (2) ==

Please protect [[Past]] and [[Talk:Past]]: excessive vandalism from WMF-banned user. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:53, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
== Delete ==

Please delete: [[Talk:Saints]]: WMF-banned user target  --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:32, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
== IP user 58.178.68.99 ==

{{vandal|58.178.68.99}}

*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Kalki}}

This IP constantly violates copyvio and vandalizes quotes by adding unnecessary emphasis, and no matter how many warning messages I send it, it ignores them. This user must be blocked indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:28, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

:I have blocked the IP for a month - should the behavior continue after that point, longer blocks can be considered. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:32, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
== Barnstar given under false pretenses... ==

*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Miszatomic}}
*{{ping|Hasley}}
*{{ping|Ferien}}

[[User:Christian M. (2016)|Christian M. (2016)]] recently received a &quot;barnstar&quot; from a vandal/troll who was clearly trying to spread its ridiculous agenda all over Wikiquote (illegally). And Christian M. foolishly believes it is legit. He is wrong. All of the following edits must be stricken, as if the &quot;barnstar&quot; never existed.

:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2995423&amp;oldid=2988473 Exhibit A]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2996059&amp;oldid=2995508 Exhibit B]
:[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Christian_M._(2016)&amp;diff=2996932&amp;oldid=2996083 Exhibit C]

Please make things right and strike those edits before Christian M. attempts to restore it again. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 03:27, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
* The user was blocked a week before you made this post. For context, it's not super uncommon for me to log in and have 30 some odd notifications from trolls pinging me to projects I've never even visited. The most expeditious thing to do is just ignore them. When you get all riled up and offended, you're pretty much just giving them exactly what they want. It's not really a dire emergency that we police someone's talk page because what was probably a bored and maladapted 14 year old besmirched your honor. You're probably just giving them way more attention and gratification by pinging every admin on the project and demanding satisfaction. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:20, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
::I refuse to sanction blatant vandalism and those who support it. Ignoring them just leaves them free to vandalize (when they should have been stripped of Wikimedia privileges permanently). It will never stop them. Taking action is the only way. And blaming the victims for the actions of the vandals who started that whole mess in the first place is highly unconscionable. And we only get offended because the vandals caused this mess, not me. Vandalism is highly intolerable on all of Wikimedia.
::And Christian M. (2016) is also trying to sanction blatant vandalism, believing the fake barnstar is a reward. And posting this report a week after the vandal was blocked-- It was never a big deal until Christian M. foolishly restored it after I had removed it when he should have left it alone to begin with. Those edits ''have'' to be stricken from the record so as to save myself, Eaglestorm, and many other users a world of hassle of undoing the vandalism Christian M. was redoing. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 20:12, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
:::Seriously, all I asked for was for the edits to be stricken from the edit history as punishment for Christian M. (2016) and the vandal that gave him that illegal &quot;barnstar&quot; in the first place. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 12:28, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

== Rugrats vandalism ==

*{{ping|Kalki}}
*{{ping|Ningauble}}
*{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
*{{ping|Miszatomic}}
*{{ping|Hasley}}
*{{ping|Ferien}}

...again. A blatant vandal with poor grammar skills refuses to believe that Rugrats was cancelled in 2004, despite multiple reliable sources (including the one provided in the talk page) proving otherwise and continues to jump from one IP to another. I request that all IP vandals involved be blocked and that the page be protected ''indefinitely'', as temporary protection will not stop them. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:41, 22 August 2021 (UTC)

:Yeah, that guy. He's [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned by the Foundation]] and may not edit any WMF project. Just revert everything he adds; nothing he adds is reliable, ever, because he makes things up. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 14:49, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::I really think only those with an account (and only ''one'' account) should be allowed to edit. How else will this vandalism end or even slow down? [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:00, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::And in light of this persistent vandal continuously trying to mess with us on the noticeboard and the [[Talk:Rugrats|Rugrats talk page]], I recommend this noticeboard and that talk page be protected against the IP(s) indefinitely. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:18, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
::I heard somewhere that he had served a few years in prison for his actions on the WMF. I am quite surprised they still allowed him to edit here after he was released, or even let him keep his Internet privileges. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:40, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
:::He was in jail for several years for stalking/harassment/threats but it was unrelated to WMF. Still, it was great to have a break from his obsessive harassment (2015-2018). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 18:45, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
== Noticeboard protected ==

FYI I semi protected this page for a week given the level of vandalism --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:15, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
== Protection request ==

Can an administrator please protect [[Pope John Paul II]]? It keeps on being vandalised by a WMF-banned editor. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 16:59, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

:And it's related to the topic above me, [[#Rugrats vandalism]] -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 17:01, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
:Done, before I saw this request --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 02:15, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

And now could anyone please  (semi-)protect [[Pope Benedict XVI]] for a while? It seems vandalized by an anon, probably the same person on the above .  --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 18:40, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 19:19, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

Thank you, and now [[Pope Pius XII]] ... semi- or protection please? --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 06:34, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:31, 28 August 2021 (UTC)
== Grand Theft Auto V ==

Some troll added a speedy deletion tag in there, which I believe is nothing more than nonsense. Please remove it and ban the guy. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 00:15, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
:The vandal was already banned. But the edits should still be struck from the record. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 00:41, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
== Wikiquote ==

Very interesting [[User:Clumie|Clumie]] ([[User talk:Clumie|talk]]) 14:26, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
== [[WQ:TEMP]] ==

It may be worth protecting this page, as it's just a redirect and shouldn't need to be edited by non-confirmed users. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] ([[User talk:Ferien|talk]]) 21:35, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} --[[User:DannyS712|DannyS712]] ([[User talk:DannyS712|talk]]) 21:45, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
== [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/May 2, 2015]] ==

Could an admin protect this page? There's quite a lot of disruption from a WMF-banned editor. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:03, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:24, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
== delete ==

Can someone please delete this category: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Category:German_Southwest_Africa_Africa i made it by mistake. Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 00:40, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
== Requesting page protection ==

Requesting semi-protection of my talk page [[User talk:Citrivescence]]. I am currently being harassed across wikis by a user who jumps from IP to IP to evade blocks. [https://guc.toolforge.org/?user=204.184.47.158 1] [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:6C40:5400:1D2B:E951:6497:92BC:8B33 2] [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:6C40:5400:1D2B:0:0:0:0/64 3]  [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/204.184.47.150 4] Thank you. [[User:Citrivescence|Citrivescence]] ([[User talk:Citrivescence|talk]]) 15:40, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} for 6 months initially - can revisit if the issue continues after that.. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:59, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2406:3400:215:7E0:5070:DC5:FF36:34FA|2406:3400:215:7E0:5070:DC5:FF36:34FA]]: long-term abuse. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 02:42, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:22, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/147.10.226.241]]: long-term abuse. [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 03:48, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
== Protect The Addams Family (film) ==

Can you please put protection on [[The Addams Family (film)]]? The page has been repeatedly vandalized since September, with reversions being undone. - {{unsigned|Jedzz}}
:{{done}}. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:32, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
== Block 58.178.68.99‎ ==

{{vandal|58.178.68.99‎}}

{{ping|Kalki}}
{{ping|Ningauble}}
{{ping|Miszatomic}}
{{ping|Hasley}}
{{ping|Ferien}}

:This IP vandal, who was blocked previously for one month, consistently vandalizes pages and ignores warnings. It has to be put to a stop before it goes after other pages. Requesting long-term semi-protection of all Disney articles and no less than six months of blocking against this vandal. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 13:44, 6 November 2021 (UTC)

:Again, not an admin so pinging me here isn't really necessary (not that I mind very much), but it's an IP, why would full protection be necessary? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 13:52, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
* {{done}} Seems to be a static IP, so not against issuing lengthy blocks. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:24, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Lavrentiy_Beria&amp;action=history Talk:Lavrentiy Beria]: LTA target --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:01, 10 November 2021 (UTC)
:Also [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Superman&amp;curid=16331&amp;action=history Superman], thanks. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:52, 10 November 2021 (UTC)
== Please block 67.204.55.251 ==

{{vandal|67.204.55.251}}
:excessive vandalism [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 13:55, 16 November 2021 (UTC)

:Obviously a blatant sock puppet of Ramses Bond, a previously banned vandal who refused to accept that the vandal's dialogue for the Total Drama series does not exist anywhere. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 01:50, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
== Block request ==

* {{vandal|46.235.97.127}}
* {{vandal|212.3.195.219}}
:Please block these accounts, vandalism at [[User talk:Neptune, the Mystic]]. [[User:Stang|Stang]] ([[User talk:Stang|talk]]) 21:03, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
::I would also like to have my talk page protected from IP attacks. Thank you! --[[User:Neptune, the Mystic|Neptune, the Mystic]] ([[User talk:Neptune, the Mystic|talk]]) 21:33, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::I protected your talk page on enwiki just now (let me know if you'd like it lifted) - hopefully someone is online here too. :) [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 21:44, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:: {{Yo|Stang}} with all due respect, [[User:Neptune, the Mystic]]  has not contributed any content to this WQ (I believe?). The storm of comments that your note here precipitated is drowning out content contributions by many good faith editors. Unless Neptune is considering building content here I believe the best solution is for him/her is to find another outlet. Respectfully. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:28, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Messages will be left on Neptune's talk page regardless of whether he actually contributes to content here. [[:w:WP:LTA/GRP|This vandal (linked)]] is just trying to find another talk page to message him on. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:40, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
::::{{yo|Ferien}} Why does [[User:Neptune, the Mystic]]  worry about what happens on their talkpage at en-WQ if they are not contributing here and not known by the locals? No-one else cares, I think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:50, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::It does fill up their notification feed for starters, and this vandal will also end up vandalising other pages on this wiki, this page will probably next. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:55, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::: {{Yo|Ferien}} With power comes responsibility. wmf-admins are no different than real-life politicians in this respect. Individuals who are given the discretionary power to block others, delete other's work, should be accountable to the community at large. Having to put up with lots of notification feeds is a small price to pay. IMIO, YMMV, Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 06:09, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
:::::::{{u|Ottawahitech}}, still it is an issue, and harassment from a WMF-banned editor over some reverted edits is not something someone should have to receive. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:40, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
== [[Special:Contributions/62.252.201.33|62.252.201.33]] ==

Excessive vandalism. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 14:17, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
:And (semi-)protect [[The Wiggles (band)]] for much longer a period of time than previously (which was only one week, which was never going to stop IP users from vandalizing). [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:49, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
::The IP above is the only IP that has vandalised that page in the past two months or so. Why semiprotect if it will affect innocent users? --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:49, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
::You mean the past [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Wiggles_(band)&amp;diff=2960730&amp;oldid=2900639 seven months], during which time we had countless vandals using IP addresses (the only good edits being from registered users). We must leave absolutely '''nothing''' to chance. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:51, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
== (Semi-)Protection request ==

...on the central article of [[Thomas &amp; Friends]]. Constant content dispute (such as unsubstantiated cancellation claims, when officially, status of the series is nothing beyond on hiatus), and the fact that if the separate articles for each season and film have had indefinite protection, so should the central article. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:56, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
:And block this (sockpuppet) user:

:{{vandal|Boober123}} [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 02:46, 4 December 2021 (UTC)
== Revdel request ==

Can someone rev del my IP used (124.xxx.xxx.xxx) on [[User talk:Ottawahitech]]. Thanks! [[User:SHB2000|SHB2000]] ([[User talk:SHB2000|talk]]) 08:45, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/112.204.217.222|112.204.217.222]]: Long-term abuse (see [[:en:Wikipedia:WP:Long-term abuse/Jurisdrew|LTA page]], global lock already requested). Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:01, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

:Thank you for notifying us that. Conquering with you, I placed a one-week long block on this address.  --[[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] ([[User talk:Aphaia|talk]]) 16:14, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

== Protection ==

Hello! Please protect the page [[Philosophical pessimism]]. It is currently the target of a WMF-banned LTA ([[w:en:WP:LTA/GRP]]), who is using a proxy service to repeatedly attack the page and try to engage in a mindless revert war that I have no interest in continuing. Thank you! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 12:18, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

:For those who are revert-warring with GRP here: don't do it. He has lots of time to waste in trolling, having nothing else to do that is productive. We have other, productive tasks at hand. Don't waste your precious time in revert-warring with a troll. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 13:49, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
== [[Talk:Lavrentiy Beria]] ==

Could an admin please protect this page or block the IPs involved, as the page is currently subject to edit warring from a WMF-banned editor. Thanks! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:45, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:39, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
== Hacked / Block request ==

Can someone look at my profile? [[User:KingBaudoin]] It seems to be hacked?

Its says: 

'''King cyber sindicate.'''
'''HACKED: In the 2010s, personal data belonging to millions of Facebook users was collected without their consent by British consulting firm Cambridge Analytica, predominantly to be used for political advertising.'''

With this suspicious link, don't click it, it's probably a virus: https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/

How do i change it? [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:20, 27 November 2021 (UTC)

:already found how to change it, this is the person that changed the text of the template, please block this account, thanks: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/136.158.41.175 [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:24, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
::Very destructive person, please block him, urgent, thanks https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Larry_Page&amp;diff=3036172&amp;oldid=3036170 [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 18:36, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
:::Already {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 19:43, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
::::Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 02:56, 9 December 2021 (UTC)

== BLOCK REQUEST URGENT ==

THIS USER KEEPS VANDALISNG WIKIQUOTE, PLEASE BLOCK HIM!

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/136.158.41.175

{{unsigned2|20:57, 28 November 2021|KingBaudoin}}
:Blocked by Ninguable. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:50, 2 December 2021 (UTC)

:Thanks. [[User:KingBaudoin|KingBaudoin]] ([[User talk:KingBaudoin|talk]]) 02:56, 9 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[Rugrats]] and [[Talk:Rugrats]] ==

Today's targets of the WMF-banned user GRP. Please protect and revdel the links as they are abusive and make libelous assertions about me and Antandrus. Thanks! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 14:04, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
:Protected both and blocked some of the users involved. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:59, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
== Protection ==

Could an admin protect my talk page? I’m not active on here, but a WMF banned LTA (george reeves person) is harassing me here. Thanks, [[User:Nigos|Nigos]] ([[User talk:Nigos|talk]]) 08:10, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
* This has been done. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 01:20, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
== Page protection ==

Hello, don't know where to request page protection here so posting it on Admins Noticeboard. This [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kath_%26_Kim page needs protection]. I checked the page history, the IP editor has been vandalizing the page since May 2021. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 11:17, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

:No Admin active?!🤷 [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 18:09, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
::{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}, perhaps you are active. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 17:27, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
:::I semi-protected it for a year. [[User:Ruslik0|Ruslik0]] ([[User talk:Ruslik0|talk]]) 20:36, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
::::Thanks. [[User:Lightbluerain|Lightbluerain]] ([[User talk:Lightbluerain|talk]]) 19:01, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
:::* I see that [[User:Ruslik0]] is not an admin on WQ. Is it policy on WQ that editors such as wmf-[[stewards]] are allowed to carryout admin duties? If so, which other types of wmf-officials are allowed to do that? Is this documented anywhere? Just curious, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:10, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
:::*:{{re|Ottawahitech}} If there aren't any admins responding to reports like above and the situation is more of an emergency then yes I think stewards can take action. However I'm not sure if a whole year's protection was necessary here considering the IPs are all in the same /64 range ([[:w:WP:/64|which isn't a big deal to block]]), where a long-term block can be placed that would stop vandalism on all the pages they are vandalising without affecting innocent users... --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:56, 2 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*::Ferien, As far as I understand, Stewards are only allowed to exercise admin-powers on  small wikis (please correct me if I am wrong). Have you considered the posibility that WQ admins know which locals are more likely to exaggerate a need for blocking/protection etc.? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:03, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*:::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Stewards and global sysops can exercise powers on small wikis yes, but in an emergency they can also go onto bigger wikis. Of course some locals will think something's more of an emergency than something else, but at the end of the day it's up to the stewards to decide, they can always decline a request and ask someone to wait for  an admin to arrive. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 09:05, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
:::*::::Ferien, 
:::*::::I have not seen documentation anywhere on any wiki that allows Stewards to interfere with local administration on bigger wikis. It makes no sense to me to allow Stewards  who have lIttle understanding of the local issues on wikis they do not contribute to on a regular basis. It is hard enough for local admins to see everythiing that is happening!
:::*::::BTW thanks for continuing to ping me. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:37, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
== Move Coronavirus disease 2019 to COVID-19 ==

The Wikipedia article about the disease is simply called COVID-19. So, for consistency, the page [[Coronavirus disease 2019]] here on Wikiquote should be moved to [[COVID-19]], requiring an administrator to delete the target page and then restore the earlier edits (thus merging the histories). Then, [[Talk:Coronavirus disease 2019]] should likewise be moved to [[Talk:COVID-19]], deleting the existing target page in the way and then restoring the earlier edits (thus again merging the histories). The two sections from February 2020 should then be merged above the &quot;Proposals for more&quot; section. [[User:GeoffreyT2000|GeoffreyT2000]] ([[User talk:GeoffreyT2000|talk]]) 22:24, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please delete my userpage and talk page. It would be nice if you could also protect them. I've been the subject of some LTA and they keep harrasing me through my userpages. Cheers --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 22:22, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
: And [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Category:Suspected_Wikiquote_sockpuppets_of_Synoman_Barris] should also be deleted --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 22:24, 19 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[Special:Contribs/2603:6080:A700:1C39:85B7:F370:BB6C:33B2|2603:6080:A700:1C39:85B7:F370:BB6C:33B2]] ==

Adds false block templates to user/user talk pages. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 05:09, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
== [[Total Drama Action]] talk page vandalism ==

:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Miszatomic}}

One IP vandal refuses to admit what the IP vandal did was dead wrong. Requesting indefinite protection of the talk page and all Total Drama articles and talk pages to prevent this vandal from ever returning, and indefinite blocking for the vandal, as well. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:57, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
: I blocked one persistently used IP for 3 months, and semi-protected the talk page for 3 months. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:56, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
::Wonderful. If this continues, however, I request the next block and semi-protection timeframe be more than twice as long. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 22:58, 21 December 2021 (UTC)
:::@[[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]], May I ask a silly question? Why are there so many vandalism reports on this page? Why not post on [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]? Just curious. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:47, 28 December 2021 (UTC)

== [[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] ==

Does anyone patrol this category as a matter of course, please? It does not have the appearance of either being speedy or leading to deletion at present. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 10:23, 22 December 2021 (UTC)

:@[[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]], Just curious what prompted your question. Do any of the 6 pages currently listed for a speedy pose a serious problem? On the other hand I see that the article [[Yoshihide Suga]] about a prime minister of Japan is listed for deletion at [[:Category:Votes for deletion]] with no one chiming in to the discussion. Could be because it is holiday season? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:40, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] quite some time ago I had nominated [[Hamis Kiggundu]] in [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Hamis_Kiggundu&amp;oldid=3040182 this permalink]. I have no idea whether or not the nomination was valid. It was declined by an IP editor earlier today. The thing is, there appeared to be nothing actually 'speedy' about the process in the sense I am used to from Commons and en WP.
::I also have no clear concept of deletion processes and procedures here, and will welcome advice either here or on my talk page [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 22:47, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::Ah.. now I understand. As far as things around here being slower than enwiki and commons, is it also not slower at other small wmf-wikis such as wikibooks, wikiversity, wikisource, wikinews, etc? I see that some admins here are very busy looking after things that are important for this community. 
:::I am not familiar with deletion processes and procedures at WQ, but I know that many  contributors are busy building content rather than undoing other people's work and have little interest in this area. I think I recognize your name from enwiki as a long-term patroller (I think?) and would be interested in your ideas for improvements at WQ. Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:01, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] forgot to ping [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:02, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] I've been around on en WP a while. I recognise your name also. I think the major improvement would be to implement Twinkle for routine admin tasks to help newbies here with experience elsewhere navigate WQ [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 23:06, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
::::::I have created [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Hamis Kiggundu]] on the basis that the speedy deletion was challenged. I will learn something, I expect. Thanks for giving me the prompt to do this @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], even if you did not suggest it directly. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 23:19, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
:::::::I am sure WQ could use help. Thanks for stepping up. Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 23:30, 28 December 2021 (UTC)
== firstinspire.com ==

Heavily spammed by [[Special:Contribs/Daily Motivation|Daily Motivation]] [[Special:Contribs/Trevormazda|et]] [[Special:Contribs/Hyuonglee|al.]]. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 14:34, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:3C4B:B600:0:0:0:0/64|2001:8003:3C4B:B600:0:0:0:0/64]]: Long-term abuse. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:36, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
:Done. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:41, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

== {{User|美好的时光好孩子}} ==

Please consider blocking {{Vandal|美好的时光好孩子}}. His edits are limited to POV pushing. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 19:45, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
:His edits are obviously controversial and need to be discussed on the talk page of the relevant entry to form consensus, but he's dropped off the site. Please post again if he reappears. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:39, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

== 2603:6080:A700:1C39:C589:6817:F2A8:1B04 ==

* [[special:contribs/2603:6080:A700:1C39:C589:6817:F2A8:1B04]]
* rm delete template on article [[The Northside Show (season 10)]] and [[The Northside Show (season 9)]], vandalism talk page. [[User_talk:Stang|'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Cursive; color:#F50&quot; lang=&quot;en&quot;&gt;Stang&lt;/span&gt;''']] 22:10, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked by someone else. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:38, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
== Looney Tunes: Back in Action ==

:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}
:{{ping|Miszatomic}}

Requesting long-term semi-protection of both the article and its talk page, due to [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Looney_Tunes:_Back_in_Action&amp;diff=3048804&amp;oldid=3038467 persistent] [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Looney_Tunes:_Back_in_Action&amp;diff=3048805&amp;oldid=2210546 vandalism]. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:47, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
:UPDATE-- The main page is semi-protected, but the same protection should also apply to the talk page. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:07, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
== 152.86.164.35 ==

Cross-wiki abuse, going on lots of different wikis to ask people to proxy edit for them on enwiki. Shown on [[Special:Diff/3054662]]. [[:simple:w:Special:Contributions/152.86.164.35|Blocked on simplewiki]] and [[:w:Special:Contributions/152.86.164.35|enwiki]] too (that's why they're asking random people to edit for them there) Thanks, [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:43, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:46, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you {{u|Koavf}}. They are continuing on the account {{vandal|StevwRudueieh}}. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:15, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::Blocked. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:17, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::::That was fast, thank you! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 22:18, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::Hi {{u|Koavf}}, another IP address [[special:contribs/107.127.53.41]], thanks. [[User_talk:Stang|'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Cursive; color:#F50&quot; lang=&quot;en&quot;&gt;Stang&lt;/span&gt;''']] 22:48, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
::::::Thanks {{ping|Stang}}. You beat me too it. [[User:Andrzejbanas|Andrzejbanas]] ([[User talk:Andrzejbanas|talk]]) 22:52, 2 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::::And [[Special:Contribs/107.127.53.25]], {{u|Koavf}} (hope you don't mind the pings!) --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:42, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Pings are fine! —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:57, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::Thanks. They are back again {{ping|Koavf}} as 107.127.53.29. Would it be possible to delte my page or lock it so newly registered or IPs can't use the talk page? [[User:Andrzejbanas|Andrzejbanas]] ([[User talk:Andrzejbanas|talk]]) 23:29, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

== 108.207.249.33 ==

Please block [[Special:Contribs/108.207.249.33|108.207.249.33]]: vandalism. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:33, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/Zjholder6173|Zjholder6173]]: Long-term abuse (Zjholder) --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 03:33, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:Globally blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== Nuke and Block ==

Nuke all pages by {{vandal|Chuogcyui}} and block indefinitely for mass spam campaign here --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 12:15, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:13, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== [[User talk:102.64.165.103]] ==

Please delete [[User talk:102.64.165.103]]: Vandalism. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 17:56, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
:Deleted. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:14, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

== Block ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2600:1700:DC00:1960:3152:17F2:13A7:85F7/64|2600:1700:DC00:1960:3152:17F2:13A7:85F7/64]]: Vandalism. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:20, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
:Blocked. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:15, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
== [[Superman]] ==

Hi, can a protection be put on this article please? [[:w:WP:LTA/GRP|A certain WMF-banned editor]] seems to be spending most of his time there at the moment. Thanks. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:30, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
:I added a simple statement from WP on the other uses of the character. I also protected the page for two weeks (will extend if it becomes necessary). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:34, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks for the quick response :) [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:36, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
== IP vandal that just won't stop ==

{{IPvandal|1.152.108.86}}

Please can we get somebody to look at this ongoing issue [[Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress#New_report_2022-01-27,_23:35]]? The edits are pretty egregious. There is defamation and deliberately abusive misgendering (in both content and edit summaries) as well as general transphobia and homophobia. I think we need a block, some page protections and ''all'' their edits revdeled. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 00:50, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
:Yeah, some of this is very inappropriate. I saw some edits that are not obvious candidates for revdel. {{Ping|DanielRigal}} are you sure that you think ''all'' of these merit revdel? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:56, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
::I should have been more specific and said ''all'' their edits to [[Abigail Thorn]] and ''some'' of their others. (Sorry. Things were happening very fast and I was getting tired.) I think that all of the edits to [[Abigail Thorn]] made by all IPs, not just this one, since Dec 25 (inclusive) are bad and are worth revdelling as they introduce a baseless and idiotic anti-vax conspiracy theory involving Thorn and others that far-right dingbats are trying to promote as well as misgendering and a pre-transition photo. Apart from that, most of the IPs other edits are blanking so maybe it is OK to just revdel the ones with offensive edit summaries e.g some of the ones to [[Natalie Wynn]]. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 11:22, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
::I support this. Nobody should have to see their disgusting comments and abuse when going back through the page history. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 06:53, 1 February 2022 (UTC)

== Vandalism in progress on Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress ==

{{IPvandal|152.22.84.23}}

We have an IP vandal vandalising [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]] (Is that metavandalism?) as well as other pages. They have also made racist comments about another editor. A good long block seems to be in order. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 16:57, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

:I see that they are blocked now. Thanks. --[[User:DanielRigal|DanielRigal]] ([[User talk:DanielRigal|talk]]) 17:28, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

== Rocky Balboa (film) ==

Some anon has been trying to insert some reference to a marciano fight but I thought it was not notable. and prove to be combative whenever they try to revert. I think whatever reference that is, its triviality, plain and simple. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 16:24, 29 January 2022 (UTC)

: Wrong!!! The Marciano-Ali Superfight film made Rocky 6 possible and marciano was inspiration to balboa movies!!! Do your research first before errupting with none-sense!!! {{unsigned|62.199.3.36}}
::And why be so triggered and defensive? Your combativeness serves no purpose and only shows you being mired in triviality. You want to waste your life trying to prove things that don't matter and you never had a personal investment in? Try spellchecking sometime, kid. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 16:40, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
:::This person is [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned by the WMF]] for exactly this behavior, along with outing, stalking, harassment, and an endless stream of comically ungrammatical threats. It's usually just best to remove his sputter; it's easy to spot (he's on this page at least twice already, above in the &quot;Superman&quot; and &quot;User talk:102.64.165.103&quot; threads). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:47, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
:::: I fail to comprehend why the LTA is still hopping from one IP address to another to continue cyberbullying others and spreading lies, and no one is contacting the proper authorities to stop him. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 19:57, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

== [[Scytl]] ==

I don't know how the deletion process works here, but I'm reasonably certain that [[Scytl]] is not in scope of this project. It's about random things that have been said in the media about a company. [[User:Sandstein|Sandstein]] ([[User talk:Sandstein|talk]]) 16:17, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
:You may very well be correct - there are two main processes available to request deletion (other than speedy deletion). Take a look at [[Wikiquote:Proposed deletion]] and [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]]. The first is for often more-obvious cases and the second, where further discussion is probably warranted. In fact, if one uses the proposed deletion path and someone else challenges that, it is likley that the second path will follow soon after. After reading those pages, come back if you have questions. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:29, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
== 152.117.105.92 ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|152.117.105.92}}

:Constantly adds quotes to articles to exceed limitations and open the door to vandalism. Requesting long-term semi-protection of every article the IP ever touched and long-term blocking of the IP. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:46, 28 January 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

This IP is at it again. Learned absolutely nothing from its previous block. Requesting no less than two weeks worth of blocking against this problematic IP. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:04, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
:Doubled block length. I'm still hesitant to call this vandalism, but at some point, being ignorant of the rules is borderline malicious. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:11, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{Ping|DawgDeputy}} As a little process thing, I am fine with you pinging me (sometimes I don't see every edit to this page) and I think other admins are too. Visually, it would be handy if you would just string them altogether on one line with one ping, like &lt;nowiki&gt;{{Ping|Koavf|Kalki|Person3}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:16, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
== Has [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]] been abandoned? ==

While it is not exactly busy it has a goodly number of discussions way past their expiry dates. [[User:Timtrent|Timtrent]] ([[User talk:Timtrent|talk]]) 14:16, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

== Another LTA ==

{{vandal|I sleep, I sleep!}} --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 15:18, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
:Globally locked by Tks4Fish --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:01, 12 February 2022 (UTC)

== Protect ==

I know the LTA above will revert this, but  I will not give attention to a person who thinks they will get any significance or attention writing their nonsense here. Back to my point, I think this noticeboard should be protected for a while to avoid such revert wars --[[User:Synoman Barris|Synoman Barris]] ([[User talk:Synoman Barris|talk]]) 17:19, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Philosophy&amp;curid=119107&amp;action=history Talk:Philosophy] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Ludwig_van_Beethoven&amp;curid=2167&amp;action=history Ludwig van Beethoven]: LTA target --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:16, 14 February 2022 (UTC)
: This has been done. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:03, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

::Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Plato&amp;action=history Talk:Plato]: LTA target. --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 04:33, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::Also [[Travel]] and [[Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart]]. This [[w:WP:LTA/GRP|banned user]] stalks people's edits, reverts them with bad faith edit summaries, and hopes to recruit help for his &quot;side&quot; in an imaginary war. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 04:48, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::Why has nobody reported this stalking vandal to the proper authorities? There does not seem to be any other way to stop him for good. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 23:02, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Feel free. He did spend three years in jail for stalking and harassment (ten felonies, mostly dismissed but at least one 'not guilty by reason insanity') - what happens is he gets out and just starts up again. It utterly sucks. How do you get someone's internet taken away? The Chicago police don't care. &quot;Someone is harassing you on the internet? Turn off your computer.&quot; If he makes actual threats from one of his IPv6 ranges (AT&amp;T and Comcast), save the diff, because those can be tied to him. The others are all open proxies. If this is too much information, I understand, but this guy has been a pest since 2006, and never stops. &quot;HarassBot&quot;. I'm open to ideas, because I'm sick of this. -- And thank you to everyone who helps remove his harassment, abuse, and random rubbish. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:46, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Just one other thing -- why doesn't [[m:Trust and Safety]] take this kind of thing on? Doesn't that seem like a reasonable addition to their mission? People like this are poisonous, and ''have'' to be removed from WMF projects, but I'm not aware of them doing anything to help other than putting him on their ban list. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:54, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
::::Have you written to the threats email address: emergency[at]? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:34, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
:::::Not recently, but maybe it's time again. Do they actually do anything off-wiki (which is where this needs to escalate to)? Guess I can find out. Maybe if a bunch of people contact them they'll do something? I would think that if the ''Foundation'' contacted law enforcement, that could have some clout.
:::::Anyway, thanks everyone for your help. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 20:19, 20 February 2022 (UTC)

== [[Special:Contribs/88.7.214.219|88.7.214.219]] ==

This LTA's back again. Please revdel everything. Thanks in advance. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 05:03, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
:Done, thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:05, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
== Histmerge required ==

[[Drew Gerald]] was recently cut and paste moved to [[Andrew Daniel]]. I think it is a valid move, however an admin will need to merge their histories for attribution purposes (see [[w:WP:HISTMERGE]].) [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 20:55, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

:Actually, I'm not even sure if the person meets [[WQ:Notability|notability]], as I can't find any indication that these quotes have gained traction (outside of e.g. Reddit posts) and the creator is a near-SPA. [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 20:57, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Deleted as non-notable promotion. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:02, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Please consider undeletion, the idea was to ensure proper attribution to the author, not promotion. The original page was under the author's penname &quot;Drew Gerald&quot; and has recently decided to be identified by legal name &quot;Andrew Daniel&quot;. You can see many notable uses of quotes: https://www.google.com/search?q=drew+gerald+quotes - and most notable quotation: https://www.google.com/search?q=you+only+struggle+because+you%27re+ready+to+grow [[User:Metaheal|Metaheal]] ([[User talk:Metaheal|talk]]) 23:07, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Undeleted for now. {{Ping|Eviolite}}, do you want to nominate for deletion? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:13, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
::::I don't have too strong of an opinion (I only discovered the situation via SWViewer), and am not really aware of Wikiquote's policies regarding inclusion, so I won't for now (of course, if someone more experienced thinks deletion is warranted, they can start one.) [[User:Eviolite|Eviolite]] ([[User talk:Eviolite|talk]]) 02:18, 27 February 2022 (UTC)

== Requesting protection on the [[Talk:Death]] page: ==

Hi, there's been some [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Death&amp;action=history persistent vandalism] from a banned editor that needs to be protected, and a bit of edit-warring is occurring on that said page as well. [[User:DarkMatterMan4500|DarkMatterMan4500]] ([[User talk:DarkMatterMan4500|talk]]) 16:30, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{Done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:32, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
== 152.117.105.92 ==

:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|152.117.105.92}}

At it once again. Still learned nothing from its previous block. Requesting no less than a month's worth of blocking, and no less than twice that long worth of semi-protection of all articles it ever touched. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 14:33, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
:I'd already blocked this user for a month before I even saw this request. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:35, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
== [[user:Eaglestorm]] bullying, hounding, article ownership, edit warring, rule totalitarianism ==

This user seems to have issues with certain editors and the LOQ policy that they deal with in a distinctly uncivil manner. See the following:


Complaints about abusive behavior from other users:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Your_comment_on_Christian

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Christian_M._(2016)...

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Be_Civil!

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Uncivil_behavior

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Once_again...

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Uncivil_responses_to_efforts_at_even_civl_compromise_and_deference

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:DawgDeputy#SuperMyers1028/Christian_M_2016


Abuse incidents:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Star_Wars (user bashing)

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Return_of_the_Jedi#This_film_is_a_classic,_and_has_TONS_of_great_and_memorable_quotes (bashing newcomer, extreme LOQ abuse)

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Avengers:_Endgame&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082483 (Article ownership, LOQ abuse and personal attack in summary)

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Eaglestorm&amp;diff=3082517&amp;oldid=3082503 (More insults)


Rules totalitarianism and article ownership criticisms:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Full_Metal_Jacket

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#Black_Widow_(2021_film)

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User_talk:Eaglestorm#How_I_Met_Your_Mother


General evidence of LOQ abuse, hounding and being a jerk:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Eaglestorm

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Eaglestorm&amp;action=history


Oh gosh whatever could this be:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eaglestorm


Basically their whole talk page is nothing but reasonable complaints about behavior answered dismissively, stretching back YEARS. I think it’s probably time they receive some stronger sanctioning.

[[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 10:24, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:Obviously I've never heard of this guy, but tries to claim by that long laundtry list that they know it all. Do I know you from somewhere? This one is nothing more than a troll claiming he was &quot;insulted&quot;. Header is full of lies and half-truths driven by people with agendas. --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 12:41, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::Ah, I see you have arrived to refute my accusations by insulting me instead of actually explaining your actions. You know you aren’t really helping your case by doing that. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 12:55, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::Yapyapyap, that's from your viewpoint. It's just you making mountains out of molehills. &quot;Insults&quot; please. Let's not feed the trolls guys, especially those who think they're whiteknights for certain people around here! --[[User:Eaglestorm|Eaglestorm]] ([[User talk:Eaglestorm|talk]]) 13:11, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::Please just stop bullying people abusing the LOQ rules to ridiculous degrees. Wikiquote is not your personal fiefdom, it belongs to everyone who can edit it competently. I’m trying to be nice here. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 13:31, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::Eaglestorm, I believe that the case laid out here is quite strong and shows a pattern of abuse by you towards other users and some sort of belief that you own the pages contained in this site. The next incident of such behavior (whether in edit summaries or direct discussion with another user) will result in a block - no further warnings will be given. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:10, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::Wow that was fast: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Avengers:_Endgame&amp;diff=3082589&amp;oldid=3082586
::::::Block time, I presume? (PS I’m assuming “GFE” means “Google fucking exists” since it’s not a policy and I’m pretty sure it’s not referring to “[[w:girlfriend experience]]” in this context) [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:00, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::They’re also edit-warring over trivial changes seemingly just to bludgeon their “ownership” of the pages. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:07, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::::I assume that GFE refers to &quot;Good faith effort&quot;. I would advise you to cease the edit warring from your side as well. Only when the dust settles from this latest dispute can we as admins act to address the situation in the best way.  ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:28, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
== [[User:DawgDeputy]]  [[User:Dronebogus]] edit war, content/policy dispute ==

As can be seen here, https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/DawgDeputy is convinced that [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]] is rigid, official policy and even ACTUAL COPYRIGHT LAW, and is obsessed with enforcement of it to a ludicrous and disruptive extent, and making pointless edits ( https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;curid=11833&amp;diff=3082616&amp;oldid=3082615 ) to the Back to the Future 2 article with minimal justification. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:19, 4 March 2022 (UTC)


:{{ping|Ningauble}}
:{{ping|Kalki}}
:{{ping|Koavf}}
:{{ping|GreenMeansGo}}

* {{vandal|Dronebogus}}

:This user has been constantly adding [[Avengers: Endgame|excessive quotes]] to [[Return of the Jedi|articles]], refusing to comply with quote limitations. And he has been hounding me with demands, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=3082610&amp;oldid=3082607 refusing to accept my answer]. Requesting immediate investigation. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 16:22, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:*Wow that wasn’t remotely surprising that we both immediately showed up here complaining about each other and have no interest in “negotiating” after the pointless block we were both subjected to. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:26, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::{{ping|Dronebogus}} The &quot;pointless block&quot; was imposed because it does no one any good to have our site filled with users at war, going back and forth over the content of a page. It was imposed to create a pause in which cooler heads might prevail, nothing more (and no blame was assigned to either side, as the blocks were doled out equally). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:44, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::*{{Ping|DawgDeputy|Dronebogus}} Did you two post to the talk pages to get consensus? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:27, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::* {{Ping|Koavf}} I TRIED to negotiate on DD’s talkpage but I kept getting reverted and dismissed. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:29, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::* Then if you can't get consensus between the two of you--which happens--ask for third parties to give their perspective. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:38, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::* {{ping|Koavf}} And do you, as a third party, have any perspective? [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:39, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|Koavf}} Just for the record, I had to dismiss his messages because 1: I was well within my rights to do so, and 2: He has no right to call the shots and disrespect quote limitations. And I have had quite the number of IP users of his same MO (but not the same person, mind you) blocked.
::::::Furthermore, one page on which Dronebogus edited: [[Return of the Jedi]], has 12 quotes, already over the 11-quote limit for that film. He insists that a quote of only &quot;three words&quot; (the one he continuously added was also incomplete) is not a violation. He is wrong. Even a quote of only one word still counts as a quote and toward the quote count. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 18:50, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

{{Ping|DawgDeputy|Dronebogus}}: how about you make a new topic on the talk page(s), ping me, and explain what the controversy is? Speaking from experience, edit-warring is not the answer. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:50, 4 March 2022 (UTC)


{{ping|Koavf}} I can’t do that because the problems are related to [[w:wp:CIR]] and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Disruptive_editing#Failure_or_refusal_to_%22get_the_point%22 refusal to listen], and stretch across multiple pages. They are the specifically:
*DawgDeputy thinks the non-official policy proposal [[Wikiquote:Limits on quotations]] is essentially copyright law and must be followed to the exact letter: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082614
*DawgDeputy refuses to negotiate and reach consensus, instead stonewalling arguments with repeated assertions they are just “following the rules” (once again LOQ is only an unofficial policy and not gospel truth): https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082612 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082607 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082599
*Despite claiming “not to make the rules”, DawgDeputy makes up their own non-textualist interpretations of guidelines: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=3082714&amp;oldid=3082711
*DawgDeputy engages in pointless edit warring over trivial changes that do not improve the article at all:  https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082616 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082547 https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Back_to_the_Future_Part_II&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3082601
*DawgDeputy only edits a narrow range of articles related to, to be blunt, films and TV that would probably be of interest to kids or otherwise don’t require much thought to superficially enjoy (i.e. cartoons, action/adventure movies and comedies— I like those too but I also like more serious media), seemingly showing some topic ownership issues and possible immaturity: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/DawgDeputy&amp;target=DawgDeputy
*DawgDeputy seems to be obsessed with gatekeeping and civily violating [[w:WP:BITE]], seen both above and in https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=3082710&amp;oldid=3082691
As can be seen in all the above diffs, DawgDeputy doesn’t seem to believe in collaboration and compromise, the whole point of a wiki, instead deciding they and they alone are allowed to determine article content and relying on edit warring to wear down those they disagree with. Their behavior is similar to [[user:Eaglestorm]]’s issues with rules abuse and article ownership only DawgDeputy does their bludgeoning and edit warring civilly. Since they’re also one of the few users who doesn’t find Eaglestorm’s behavior completely insufferable I’d even tentatively postulate one might be the [[W:wp:sock|good hand/bad hand account]] of the other or a [[w:wp:meatpuppet]]. [[User:Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 07:22, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
: [[User:Dronebogus]], I urge you to reconsider your choice to refuse to follow Koavf's suggestion. Yes, it is a pain to deal with an edit warer who does not compromise, and you shouldn't have to do. But if you take the time and make the effort then, eventually, an admin will see the problem, see that it is not you, and take appropriate action. You now have an admin's attention. Don't squander it. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:17, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
:: {{ping|Butwhatdoiknow}} I said I already made an effort and they just reverted my request. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 16:30, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::: Who is (or are) &quot;they&quot;? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 18:35, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::::DawgDeputy [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:22, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::: Ah, yes, a classic DawgDeputy move. And one for which Koavf previously issued [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3ADawgDeputy a three month block]. My recommendation: cut the the link to the diff where DD reverted your post and paste it on to Koavf's talk page with a comment that you are attempting to comply with their proposed procedure. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 20:26, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
::::For the record, that block only denied me access to Koavf's talk page, simply for removing comments (to which he never replied) from a problematic user. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 02:52, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::: For the record, here's [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Ferris_Bueller%27s_Day_Off&amp;diff=2770750&amp;oldid=2770690 an example] where an admin stepped in to restore a massive DawgDeputy removal. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:20, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::That is immaterial, and nevertheless went nowhere. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 17:24, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Stop trying to claim anything that makes you look bad or that you disagree with is invalid or irrelevant. That is commonly known as “moving the goalposts” and is frowned upon. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:13, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::::::It was merely a dispute over a petty unnecessary addition to a quote that never went anywhere. Not a copyvio case. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 21:30, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::That is beside the point. You were violating actual policy against deleting other people’s comments for no good reason and not your outlandish interpretation of a policy draft that hasn’t been officially adopted (how many times must I state that last bit?) [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 22:01, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::: [[User:Dronebogus]], I note your post to Koavf's talk page with cites to DawgDeputy's talk page. If you have some examples of DawgDeputy removing posts somewhere other than their own talk page then I recommend you add those. If not, you should read and follow Koavf's suggestion to &quot;make a new topic on the talk page(s) [where edit warring is taking place], ping me, and explain what the controversy is.&quot;  [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 16:20, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
::::Koavf doesn’t really seem to get or care how disruptive DawgDeputy is. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 00:18, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
::::They’re spending more time nitpicking my complaints and implicitly blaming me for being equally stubborn and uncivil or something like that. It’s frustrating and I’d like a coherent response to the evidence I’ve provided and some kind of assistance with the situation.{{unsigned2|00:21, 7 March 2022 | Dronebogus}}
::::We have both provided good evidence this user is disruptive and continues to be. {{Unsigned2| 00:24, 7 March 2022‎|Dronebogus}}
::::: Dealing with a difficult editor is an asymmetrical battle and I understand your frustration. But you have to (a) remain civil and (b) avoid making it about personalities (&quot;it's the edits, not the editor&quot;), ''See'' [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Responding_to_a_failure_to_discuss#The_process Wikipedia:Responding to a failure to discuss]. 
::::: I will suggest one last time that you &quot;read and follow Koavf's suggestion to 'make a new topic '''on the talk page(s) [where edit warring is taking place]''', ping me, and explain what the controversy is'&quot; (emphasis added). That is, take it one article at a time - don't dump a laundry list. And if DD reverts your new topic, send a diff of that to Koavf. [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 06:00, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
**Koavf complained about making threads in different places. You can’t win for losing. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:36, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
***On the plus side DawgDeputy seems to have acquiesced to my changes after I provided a lengthy explanation. We’ll see if it lasts. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:39, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****As I said, I’m skeptical of Koavf’s concern for the situation. They seem to think it’s a personal squabble and not a facet of a deep and long-running [[w:wp:cir]]] problem. I’ll try to do more research but I’m probably going to try an uninvolved admin. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 09:47, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****:Wow, well, I didn't expect an assumption of bad faith, but as I wrote on my talk page, I am concerned about 1.) conversations spiraling out of control and being plastered over multiple pages and sucking up all kinds of complaints into one big mess that is hard to untangle and 2.) making conversations personality-based instead of principal- or guideline-based. I am not making any assumption about anyone's personal styles and I have seen inappropriate behavior from both of the individuals in this dispute. I really don't think my two preferences are very unreasonable. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:37, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
****::Fair enough. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 19:48, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

== More DawgDeputy edit warfare ==

DawgDeputy has been engaging in an edit war. I have tried to negotiate but they have just fallen back on “I don’t make the rules etc” again.

*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3083933&amp;oldid=3083869 calls my edits “vandalism” (I was copying in incorrect material from an older version accidentally and removed it)
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084016&amp;oldid=3084013 another mass revert without citing policy
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084025&amp;oldid=3084024 simply calls additions “meaningless” instead of an explanation, misinterpreting unofficial guidelines yet again)
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084026&amp;oldid=3084025 massive unexplained revert
*https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Despicable_Me_(film)&amp;diff=3084031&amp;oldid=3084029 more ABF
*https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Despicable_Me_(film) policy bludgeoning rather than seeking consensus

I actually want to improve the article based on DawgDeputy’s points, but I can’t do it if they refuse to let me edit it for five minutes. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 17:01, 7 March 2022 (UTC)

::I've commented on this specific incident on the film's talk page [[Talk:Despicable Me (film)|here]]. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:24, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
== Seeking admin input ==

I'm not sure if any of the other admins have followed any of the discussion above, but I am asking for review by other admins. I have tried to mediate a bit and have tried to create some compromise, but now I am also being challenged for doing so. Before I instinctively respond in a rather vindictive manner, I would like to have fresh eyes review it and take any appropriate action. In particular, please look at the edit history of ''[[Despicable Me (film)]]'' and its talk page, as well as the discussions above. I believe my actions towards all three users in this case were correct, but I of course lack objectivity at this point. And while I am sympathetic towards Dronebogus in their discussion with the other two, it appears that I have run afoul of them now too. It is my belief that the last edit to the film page should be reverted to the version after my changes, but I am reluctant to continue another edit war. Please review and act as you see fit. Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:54, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
:Really no thoughts from anyone? Is no one reading this noticeboard anymore? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:56, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
::I feel like you and Koavf are the only active admins anymore [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 15:09, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
:* @ UDScott I try to read this board whenever I get a chance, but following discussion here requires an enormous amount of time. I believe that one of the main reasons for this is the frequency in which edits here are removed by other editors, often without any consequences to the offenders. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:35, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
== GRP returns ==

[[Academia]] is his latest target. Please protect, thank you. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 05:10, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
:Protected. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:04, 20 February 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Koavf}} thank you! GRP is now targeting [[Diane Sawyer]], which needs protection. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 03:34, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Also [[Truth]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 03:34, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
::::Got 'em. Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:56, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
:::::One more: [[User talk:Britmax]] -- thanks in advance. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 19:22, 21 February 2022 (UTC)

: Good morning. Reusing this thread because he was back this morning with more abuse. Could an admin please hide [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=10%3A10_%28film%29&amp;action=revisiondelete&amp;type=revision&amp;ids%5B3078125%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078123%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078119%5D=1&amp;ids%5B3078096%5D=1 these abusive edit summaries]? Thanks, ---- [[User:MarcoAurelio|MarcoAurelio]] ([[User talk:MarcoAurelio|talk]]) 15:27, 23 February 2022 (UTC)
::Wow, I've never seen this interface before. Thanks, M. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:06, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|UDScott}} GRP is now vandalising [[Talk:Death]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 16:19, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
:{{ping|UDScott}} could you revdel the abusive edits and edit summaries that GRP has left on this page? Thanks! [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 14:53, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:: You might also want to semi-protect this page temporarily. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 15:11, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
::: Make that indefinitely. There is no stopping this vandal unless he is dealt with and banned from the Internet by the proper authorities. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:20, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:::: I suppose, though this particular vandal is unlikely to stop and will just find another page to attack. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 15:22, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
::::: He can try, but he will only end up in serious, unavoidable trouble. This is why I think only registered users should edit on WMF. Vandals easily take advantage of IP addresses. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:31, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
:Today's target: [[War]]. [[User:JavaHurricane|JavaHurricane]] ([[User talk:JavaHurricane|talk]]) 06:30, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
::Now at [[Talk:War]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 15:34, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
:Now at [[Talk:Memorial Day]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 12:59, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
:Now at [[Fulton J. Sheen]]. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 05:26, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
::Now attacking [[Torture]]; a massive revert war is going on there between GRP on proxies and several vandal fighters. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 04:45, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
== [[Special:Contributions/I like to say i'm blue, but i'm also a world|I like to say i'm blue, but i'm also a world]] constantly vandalizing pages: ==

Hello, could an admin please block for this user for constantly vandalizing pages and [[Special:Diff/3091251|making useless redirects]] to random pages? Thank you. [[User:DarkMatterMan4500|DarkMatterMan4500]] ([[User talk:DarkMatterMan4500|talk]]) 13:31, 25 March 2022 (UTC)

:Account has been locked; a nuke is needed now. ''[[User:JavaHurricane| &lt;span style = &quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Java&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:JavaHurricane|&lt;span style = &quot;color:red&quot;&gt;Hurricane&lt;/span&gt;]]'' 18:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
::That's {{done}}. Noticed they went onto simplewiki and nuked the pages there but didn't notice here. Thanks {{u|JavaHurricane}} and {{u|DarkMatterMan4500}}. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:45, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
== 102.184.31.218 ==

Only made one edit, but you might wanna keep an eye on them to make sure they don't vandalize. [[Special:Contributions/2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE|2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE]] 17:22, 26 March 2022 (UTC)

:It was a WMF-banned editor, but they edited 12 hours ago and have probably moved onto another IP so blocking will probably not help anything. Thank you for the report though, and happy editing!--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:24, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks for the cheers. I did not say to block them, just keep an eye on them. You never know. IPs can change over time. [[Special:Contributions/2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE|2603:6080:A700:1C39:A07A:EE06:CF73:43EE]] 17:28, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
== This user keeps bugging me about restoring the 2010s and 2020s sections of the Horror film page on Wikipedia. ==

This user, CreepshowJollygiant, keeps bugging me about restoring the 2010s and 2020s sections of the Horror film page on Wikipedia. So could you please put a stop to this as soon as possible? [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 15:46, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

: Now another user, 107.119.45.37, has just pestered me about the same thing, and something about being crooked and unsourced. Could you please do something about this right now? Here are the links to the users I’m talking about: [[Special:Contributions/107.119.45.37]], [[Special:Contributions/CreepshowJollygiant]]

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:AdamDeanHall&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3093031&amp;oldid=3092810&amp;diffmode=source
https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:AdamDeanHall&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3093108&amp;oldid=3093047&amp;diffmode=source

[[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 20:17, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

:I've blocked both the users involved. Thanks for reporting! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 20:58, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

== I am reporting a ban evasion. ==

This user, [[Special:Contributions/LeftyJuJu]], has a history of a ban evasion, and is linked to the other blocked accounts. Could you please block him as soon as possible? He keeps asking me over and over again to restore the 2010s and 2020s sections on the Horror film page on Wikipedia. [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 02:50, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

:It's now been globally locked by stewards. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 06:26, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

== Request ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Vladimir_Lenin&amp;action=history Talk:Vladimir Lenin]: LTA target. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 05:12, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

:{{re|Mtarch11}} {{done}}, thanks --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 06:28, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
== Request (2) ==

Please protect [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Aleksandr_Solzhenitsyn&amp;action=history Talk:Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]: LTA target. Thanks, --[[User:Mtarch11|Mtarch11]] ([[User talk:Mtarch11|talk]]) 06:22, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} already but didn't see this. Thanks! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:24, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

== Request protection ==

My user talk page is currently the target of on-going harrassment by an LTA-sock. Thank you [[User:Thewolfchild|Thewolfchild]] ([[User talk:Thewolfchild|talk]]) 18:02, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Thewolfchild}}, seeing as you haven't edited much here and you've had to deal with a lot of LTA on your talk page, I've semi-protected your talk page for a whole year. Hope this helps. :) --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:14, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
::Should do. Thanks [[User:Thewolfchild|Thewolfchild]] ([[User talk:Thewolfchild|talk]]) 22:34, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

== I am reporting more ban evasions. ==

These users, [[Special:Contributions/107.122.97.40]] and [[Special:Contributions/166.205.141.44]], have a history of a ban evasion, and are linked to the other blocked accounts. Could you please block them as soon as possible? They keep asking me over and over again to restore the 2010s and 2020s sections on the Horror film page on Wikipedia. [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 04:22, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
== [[user:AdamDeanHall]] edit warring at [[Return of the Jedi]] ==

&lt;s&gt;User has been repeatedly removing the iconic “it’s a trap” quote with little or no explanation. This can be seen at the top of the article history here: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;action=history The quote is supported by multiple editors (see last 2 sections of https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Return_of_the_Jedi) and there’s no mandatory quote limit ([[Wq:LOQ]] is not policy). I think this counts as disruptive editing. Recommend temporarily locking to this version: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Return_of_the_Jedi&amp;oldid=3084058 [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 02:52, 31 March 2022 (UTC)&lt;/s&gt;

Withdrawing as it seems to have resolved itself. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 08:45, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
== Protection request ==

Please protect [[Pope Benedict XVI]] because of repeated long-term abuse. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 14:06, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:31, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
== [[Despicable Me (film)]] Still an edit war target ==

Requesting page protection [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 06:42, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
: Why not try starting a discussion on the talk page first? [[User:Butwhatdoiknow|Butwhatdoiknow]] ([[User talk:Butwhatdoiknow|talk]]) 14:47, 8 April 2022 (UTC)

::I have already made my feelings known regarding this page (see [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#Seeking_admin_input|discussion]] from March above). At that time, I asked for additional admin input, but really never received any. I would again ask on of the others to take a look at the history and offer some input before I again step into it. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:22, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
== Restoring the 2010s and 2020s-present section ==

Every user who has committed each and every ban evasion has kept asking me to restore the 2010s and 2020s-present section of the [[w:Horror film|Horror film]] page on Wikipedia. They have been doing this to me time and again, every chance they got. So could you please do something about this before another ban-evading user starts bothering me again? [[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]] ([[User talk:AdamDeanHall|talk]]) 15:58, 3 April 2022 (UTC)

:Hi @[[User:AdamDeanHall|AdamDeanHall]], 
: 
:You have taken it upon yourself to remove messages, not only from your own user talk, but also from mine. Just wondering why? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:32, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
== Ian Kershaw ==

The article contains some blatant selective quoting from Kershaw's biography of Adolf Hitler. For example, it lists two quotes from a paragraph on page 412:
*For Catholics—the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933—Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement.
*On the nationalist-conservative Right… Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies.

The full paragraph says:
:For the Socialist and Communist left — with only minor differences between them in this regard — Hitler was portrayed as the hireling of big capitalism, the front-man for the imperialists, the political strike-force of the enemies, of the working class. Such views were to persist after 1933 in the left-wing underground resistance organizations, the underestimation of Hitler they contained hindering clear perceptions of the ideological dynamism of Nazism. For Catholics — the other sub-culture which Nazism found greatest difficulty in penetrating, before and after 1933 — Hitler was above all seen as the head of a ‘godless’, anti-Christian movement. In Protestant church-going circles, impression of Hitler varied. Some looked to the dangers of a neo-heathen movement which had roused the base instincts of the masses. Others saw the potential, at a time when church attendance was dwindling and moral and religious values were allegedly being undermined, of Hitler's 'national renewal' bringing in its wake ethical and religious revival. On the nationalist-conservative Right, the relatively sympathetic treatment of Hitler at the time of the Young Plan Campaign had given way to hostility. Hitler was portrayed for the most part as intransigent and irresponsible, a wild and vulgar demagogue, not a statesman, an obstacle to political recovery, the head of an extreme movement with menacing socialistic tendencies. Against these negative images had to be set the adulation of the third of the population that, despite the setbacks of summer and autumn, still saw in Hitler the only hope for Germany's future.

I tried to remove the selectively-used quotes, but get this error message:
:This action has been automatically identified as harmful, and therefore disallowed. If you believe your action was constructive, please inform an administrator of what you were trying to do. A brief description of the abuse rule which your action matched is: GRP
Can you fix this? [[User:Anywikiuser|Anywikiuser]] ([[User talk:Anywikiuser|talk]]) 18:28, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:I have disabled the filter temporarily while I try to find a fix.--[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:29, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
== Legacy of banned user User:Libraryclerk0191 ==

Consider for example the article [[Ukraine]], a favorite target of User:Libraryclerk0191. &lt;s&gt;Search [[Ukraine]] for the word &quot;NATO&quot; (as in &quot;NATO expansion&quot;) -- 44 results.&lt;/s&gt; Hmm. 

Another top target was [[2021–2022 Russo-Ukrainian crisis]], although that has been significantly improved since {{u|Rauisuchian}} listed some of its problems, for example, &quot;cherrypicked routine reporting (not notable quotes),&quot; &quot;promotional links/blogspam ,&quot; &quot;pro-Kremlin stances that are so duplicated and given such weight that it is contrary to reliable sources, etc., and no longer informative to see what the Russian state position is when it's such a large portion of the article.&quot;

LC's [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191 |contribution history]] pinpoints articles that are important to Russian disinformation. I put a couple on my watchlist to improve, and I hope others take a look and do the same. 

To clarify, I am enthusiastic about articles including quotes from a wide range of viewpoints. But Wikiquote should not be used as free advertising for fringe thinkers published by questionable sources like [[w:MintPress News]] and [[w:unz.com]]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:16, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
: Update, I removed a lot of the POV-pushing from [[Ukraine]] and added some quotes from notable historians and authors who have said interesting things about Ukraine. But LC already has some successors pushing his same POV in his same favorite articles, citing his same favorite fringe unreliable sources. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:35, 10 April 2022 (UTC)

::Agree, for the last several weeks at least there's a POV-pushing campaign running largely unchecked here. It's anti-western, anti-US, pro-Russian, and is hitting from both far right and far left. Some of the theme pages are just coatracks for anti-US propaganda. Have a look at [[war crimes]] for an outrageous example (is the US the worst committer of war crimes in history? sure looks like it from that page.) 
::{{u|HouseOfChange}} -- excellent job adding, cleaning up, restoring balance -- thank you. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 03:52, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
:::Hi@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] @[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]]
:::It is not clear to me what it is you agree with:
:::* &quot;for the last several weeks at least there's a POV-pushing campaign running largely unchecked heree&quot;
:::AND that:
:::* &quot;Banned&quot; [[User:Libraryclerk0191]] is the one responsible for this &quot;campaign&quot;?
:::Is  Libraryclerk0191 indeed responsible for this campaign? -- I don't know and have not spent the time to figure it out. I do believe though that we should not discuss the contributions of those who have been silenced without hearing their side of the story. I think? Any comments? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:32, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{re|Ottawahitech}} After finding Libraryclerk0191 in the page history of several problem articles, I checked to see if his [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191 |contribution history]] would pinpoint problem articles I hadn't seen. And, it did. That's not the same as calling LC &quot;responsible&quot; for the ongoing campaign in those articles. '''The stone mason who put up headstones showed us where the dead are; is he &quot;responsible&quot; if someone dies next week?''' I care about problem articles, not about blame. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 04:48, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|HouseOfChange}} Thank you for helping to address this problem, great work on the cleanup. 
:There are lots of POV pushing campaigns that have or will become more obvious, and suspected astroturfing takes time from volunteer editors who have to address reverting that fringe content rather than revising and adding new notable content.
:One thing I suggested earlier was an automated removal of all [[w:unz.com]] quotes (as cited on Wikipedia, &quot;The website has been criticized by the Anti-Defamation League as hosting racist and antisemitic content, and the Southern Poverty Law Center which has labeled it a white nationalist publication.&quot; and the site is deprecated on [[w:WP:RSPSOURCES]]). Removal of this fringe source -- quotes from which, have neither historical notability nor secondary source notability -- would go a long way. There are multiple pages of Wikiquote results for &quot;Unz Review&quot;. Its presence on an article is a potential red flag to look for other questionable sources being used and added by the same editors.
:Like you said &quot;Wikiquote should not be used as free advertising for fringe thinkers published by questionable sources&quot;. Along these lines, we could consider an equivalent of [[w:WP:ELNO]] for external links  here as well for article quality. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 04:15, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Similar edits === 
&lt;!-- broken up for readability... feel free to edit this header --&gt;

: Props to admin {{u|Ferien}} and others for maintaining Wikiquote and fighting vandalism. Looks like {{u|Alphabravo2022}} was also blocked as a response to Libraryclerk0191 abusing multiple accounts. AlphaBravo2022's [[Special:Contributions/Alphabravo2022|contributions page]] is another data point in seeing which edits are potentially POV pushing. 

: Separately (probably not the same &quot;individual&quot; but who knows) another editor fervently restoring &quot;Unz Review&quot; links has been detected: this IP user [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E|2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E]], similar IPv6 address as a wave of correlated editors adding same fringe sources on the far right side. If admins with block abilities could review that user, that would be excellent. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 12:18, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::: Agree, and note [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDB1:C600:4D8C:A964:F53B:51C]] and [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:7823:E32D:D7B5:5EDE]] are also up to no good here, as is another IP in Australia [[Special:Contributions/121.221.66.226]] with the same targets. Note that [[Charlottesville car attack]], [[Waukesha parade attack]], and [[Darrell Edward Brooks]] are repeat targets for hateful POV-pushing, with ZERO examples of &quot;quotations which are notable.&quot; [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:16, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: More interesting data points and correlations. Some folks on Discord noticed previous blocked users and IP ranges that appear similar to the current troll accounts.

:: The original sockmaster of the pro-Russia POV accounts could be [[User: Om777om]] ([https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/Om777om&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=Om777om contributions]) based on an initial trolling wave in 2019. The pattern of edits looks very similar.

:: Additionally, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 one Australian IPV6 range] posts consistently far-right, racist, and anti-Semitic content and anti-vaccine misinformation. Editor indicated by that IPv6 range appears to have a history going back to 2019 or earlier. These correlations might be useful for admins to look at. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 13:13, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: Two IPv4 ranges, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/1.152.108.86/24&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=1.152.108.86%2F24 here] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/1.136.104.177/24 here] may be the same fringe far-right editor as the Australian IPv6 range above. This is shown by the [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Abigail_Thorn&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;action=history revision history of the Abigail Thorn article] where the same &quot;The Grayzone&quot; content is added by these IPs in an edit war. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 13:51, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

==== IP block requests ====

: {{Ping|Ferien}} and others with block abilities: I am requesting blocks of this IPV6 range: [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64] Contribution history shows POV pushing and spamming far right external links. More detail above, but the contribution history is self evident. Thank you. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 09:06, 14 April 2022 (UTC).
:: My edits are fine. Anything rauisuchian thinks is &quot;Extreme&quot; he wants reverted. [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:C469:22F4:BE68:2A79|2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:C469:22F4:BE68:2A79]] 09:36, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
::I second this. This individual is edit warring across multiple pages and adding far right and homophobic material.--[[User:C.J. Griffin|C.J. Griffin]] ([[User talk:C.J. Griffin|talk]]) 05:02, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
== Removing external links on Wikiquote that Wikipedia marks as deprecated or spam ==

Hello Wikiquote admins,

Several of the sites which Wikipedia's [[wikipedia:WP:RSPSOURCES|perennial sources noticeboard]] has deprecated or marked as spam, are cited widely on Wikiquote. For example, the conspiracy site &quot;Global Research&quot; (marked spam on Wikipedia) and the far-right &quot;Unz Review&quot; (marked deprecated on Wikipedia) bring up numerous results on Wikiquote. This includes external links to the fringe sites, and large passages of quotes from relatively non-notable or fringe sources. This probably also applies to other sites on the noticeboard but these are two obvious ones.

Can these links be removed from Wikiquote in all or almost all cases? Additionally, the quotes are usually undue weight. It is questionable that the viewpoint of a relatively non-notable extremist or fringe commentator (e.g. not notable enough to have their own article) actually have to be included. Reliable secondary sources would usually discuss the quote if it was notable enough to include.

Wikiquote could really be helped out by a bot that removes external links to sites that are marked spam on Wikipedia, that's the only thing the bot would have to do at first and would fix major problems. (Apologies if I have misrepresented or not been aware of existing anti-spam efforts on the part of the admins. If so, correct me.)

As a first step, perhaps Wikiquote could copy Wikipedia's spam denylist, and if the exceptions are few enough, they should be able to be removed by hand from the copied denylist. What do you think?

Thanks, [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 05:44, 20 March 2022 (UTC)

: I agree, and here is the list of  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Deprecated_sources Wikipedia:Deprecated sources]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 9 April 2022 (UTC)

:: Thanks, the list of deprecated source is useful and a bit more direct than just the RSPSOURCES. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 06:28, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Specific problematic sources ===

: [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Rauisuchian&amp;diff=3101317&amp;oldid=3099499 Ottawahitech had questions about] this section and point on my talk page, which I have re-directed here.

:The original questions by [[User:Ottawahitech]] were:
 
::''&quot;I saw your post on WQ-AN about the [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard#Removing external links on Wikiquote that Wikipedia marks as deprecated or spam|Unz Review]]. I did not repond there becuase you addressed your post to WQ-Admins, which I am not.''
 
::''I would be interested in what you have to say on this topic, though. I did a search to see how wide-spread the use of unz is on WQ and found only 31 pages that had one quote which used unz as a source for the quote. I am not sure this causes a widespread npov problem at WQ, but I really cannot be sure.''
 
::''I checked one such page: [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and I have to say that the quote from Unz seemed much more tame to me than some of the other quotes. What is your take on Jeffrey Epstein? Thanks in advance,&quot;''
 
::[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Rauisuchian&amp;diff=3101317&amp;oldid=3099499 Link diff] by [[User:Ottawahitech]]

: I said &quot;This should really go on the Noticeboard still, because it is a discussion of a proposal there, a proposal which relates to the admins.&quot; 

:  {{ping|Ottawahitech}} As was pointed out in this noticeboard and edit summaries, unz is [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] on Wikipedia for various reasons including antisemitic content, copyright violations, and featuring [[w:WP:FRINGE|fringe]] bloggers as article writers. In addition to the link to it in the [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|deprecated sources chart]], check the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard/Archive_356#The_Unz_Review discussion leading to it being deprecated by unanimous consensus]. One of the editor comments was: &quot;Unz is platform open for to any crank seeking to promote the very fringe of the fringe of racist and pseudoscientific beliefs&quot;. This is why I believe, very similarly to that discussion, that we should not be putting quotes from it everywhere. Wikipedia points out with sources that the website [[w:unz.com]] has been criticized by the Anti-Defamation League as hosting racist and antisemitic content, and the Southern Poverty Law Center which has labeled it a white nationalist publication. Thus Unz is one of the lowest quality sources possible. There is no reason to quote it unless absolutely necessary and that has not been demonstrated.

: The reason there are fewer articles using unz as a source is... because we have been removing them. By we, I mean everybody who mentioned this on the noticeboard, plus various maintaining editors (I noticed a few admins helping with reverts) who also noticed POV pushing/edit warring/vandalism by Unz-adding IPs and users/socks, reverting edit wars by those socks. (Those sockpuppets, such as [[User:GaneshaSis|GaneshaSis]] and [[User:Libraryclerk0191|Librarycler0191]] and others, were all confirmed on the Noticeboard by observers, and by admins on their block pages, to be socks.) Before, there were many results for “Unz Review” in the search results. There are still too many, virtually all that remain are not notable quotes on top of being from unreliable sources and should be removed. There are currently 28 citations remaining which is likely still too much, considering the low notability and fringe nature of the source.

: ''“I checked one such page: [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and I have to say that the quote from Unz seemed much more tame to me than some of the other quotes. What is your take on Jeffrey Epstein?”'' There are so many possible sources we could use to illustrate the evil of Epstein with notable quotes, that there is no need to add external links to deprecated sources on the article. Epstein’s crimes were widely discussed in mainstream reporting, despite what fringe sources say about it supposedly not being covered. Rather there are many investigative journalists that could be cited instead, especially contentious aspects like intelligence connections or conspiracy theories about his death. Generally “quotes about” should be by people with their own Wikipedia article or in publications with their own article in reliable sources. Previously in that article [[w:Zero Hedge]] was needlessly cited when [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg News]] was available, currently there are “Quotes about” from [[w:MintPress News]] -- which is also [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard/Archive_268#RfC:_MintPress_News this discussion] which concluded false or fabricated information was published by it -- as well as the Unz Review. One of the sockpuppets, GaneshaSis, appears heavily in the revision history adding fringe citations. Once again, the function of Wikiquote is to include notable quotes, but some of these bloggers are just too small and fringe to be citing for due weight. This applies to any article that has had deprecated sources placed in by those sockpuppets. For something specific go to the talk page of that article. 

: The overall point is that Wikipedia deprecated sources should also be so on Wikiquote, unless they are exceedingly notable quotes and in all the recent cases of removals and examples mentioned yet, no such exception has been found. Thanks. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 18:16, 20 April 2022 (UTC)
:: Thanks to {{ping|Rauisuchian}} for identifying the problem that the sock team not only pushed conspiracy theories at Wikiquote but also pushed links to conspiracy-promoting websites, where (if our users followed such a link), they would be exposed to [https://www.influencewatch.org/person/ron-unz/ evenworse material]. And thanks to {{ping|Ottawahitech}}for flagging the many problems at [[Jeffrey Epstein]], aside from outbound links. I tried to improve that article, explaining my work on its talk page. Only in the most unusual circumstances should the &quot;specialness&quot; of a quote from a [[w:WP:DEPSOURCES|WP:DEPRECATED]] source overcome the downsides of sharing such links here. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:55, 21 April 2022 (UTC)
== Suggested revision for  &quot;Welcome Newcomers&quot; section: ==

This is being posted with sincere best wishes &amp; hopes that this will prove to be helpful to this project. Suggest that the text on the welcome newcomers page be updated for the sake of '''honesty'''.  Suggestions follow excerpts of the actual text, and are in bold &lt;BR&gt;'''[[Wikiquote:Welcome,_newcomers]] 
{{collapse top}}
===Welcome Newcomers===

===Editing===
*Anyone can edit pages on Wikiquote, including this one — just select the Edit this Page link on the top or bottom of this page if you think it needs improvement. You don't need special credentials, you don't even need to be logged in....A simple way to start helping is just to use Wikiquote as you would any other dictionary of quotations, but when you spot a problem—a spelling mistake, perhaps, or an unclear sentence, then go in and fix it. Be bold in updating pages - if you can see a way of improving a page, just do it...

====Suggested additional Text for Editing section====
'''*Newcomers should bear in mind that WQ is increasingly resembling a [[police state]] characterized by [[Anti-intellectualism]]. Newcomers who want to post quotes from comic books, b grade horror movies &amp; novels, [[Mainstream media|MSNBC, CNN, or Fox news]] without touching any [[Controversy|controversial]] issues, you should be fine.  However, if you dare to be [[bold]] in updating pages (as the welcome suggests) and if one or more admins don't like your contributions, chances are you will be banned  from WQ without a single warning, prior discussion, or hearing.&lt;BR&gt;The length of your ban will apparently depend on how the admin feels at the time... your banishment could be for a week, a year or even forever.  Apparently the banishers are not following any rules, other than perhaps their own dodgy thoughts or commands from someone(?) that apparently lead them to believe that they must maintain the status quo, prevent critical thoughts or the publication of thoughts from notable people who dare to think outside the box, and that they should never tolerate others who question the authorities, or some such... who knows what goes on in their minds? ;-). We should assume that they mean well and they probably do, based on their level of education and life experience. &lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;While most of the admins here come across as reasonable, helpful, cooperative &amp; pleasant, there are some admins who apparently stay in the dark, in the background- who come across as very hardheaded &amp; coldblooded diehard supporters of the old views that say might makes right,  anti-intellectualism is best, &amp; that rules are for others only, not them. &lt;BR&gt;They are allowed to behave as one person judges, juries &amp; executioners, and they apparently report to no-one. Of course those admins support each other.&lt;BR&gt; They routinely force their POVs thru their banishments on others here and sadly, none of the otherwise pleasant &amp; cooperative admins complain when they do. &lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;New comers should be warned that Wikiquote's promotional text about what a great place wikiquotes is to work, is sadly only window dressing.  It can be good place to do volunteer work, but ONLY IF ALL the admins approve of ALL of your work; and if they don't approve, newcomers should not expect any warnings. They'll let you know by kicking you out based on their POV.:-) &lt;BR&gt;A good number of hardworking, volunteers have spent many hours here with all the best intentions/energy to help move this project forward, only to find that one of the admins banned them arbitrarily, without what most reasonable people would call a &quot;[[Justice|just]] cause&quot; or good reason. There are words for that behavior, of course.  &lt;BR&gt;Newcomers are encouraged to remember that we live in a world that presently is run by what many call  &quot;the best people that money can buy&quot;. Hopefully at least some of the newcomers will know that the best people cannot be bought. That should be born in mind here &amp; everywhere else, especially in the western world.
*Newcomers are also encouraged to remember that all the admins are only temporary workers. Eventually, ALL the admins whose behavior gives WQ a bad reputation, will surely be replaced by admins who are truly  honest, justice oriented, diplomatic leaders. '''

* Re:  '''Newcomers who want to post quotes from comic books, b grade horror movies &amp; novels, MSNBC, CNN, or Fox news without touching any controversial issues, you should be fine. However, if you dare to be bold in updating pages (as the welcome suggests) and if one or more admins don't like your contributions, chances are you will be banned  from WQ without a single warning, prior discussion, or hearing'''.
:why do you say this (not sure who posted this, but I am unable to respond via the reply tool [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:42, 22 April 2022 (UTC)

===Writing Section ===
*Editing our existing set of knowledge is great, but we'd like you to contribute your knowledge too. You can start a brand-new page, or find an existing page and add an entirely new section to it. Don't worry too much about making mistakes—if you do get something slightly wrong, then you, or anyone, can always fix it later...

====Suggested additional Text   Writing section====
*'''Newcomers: If ANY of your  contributions happen to displease one of the admins, don't expect them to discuss it with you or give you any warnings.  You should expect to be kicked off the set (blocked) for a year or forever, with out any warning or discussion whatsever, despite your best intentions and naive  hope/belief, that if your contribution(s) were not ok with the admins, that they would have the decency/civility to discuss/advise you, and give you a chance to make suggested changes.   ''' 


===Good Faith rule===
* https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Assume_good_faith
*To assume good faith is a fundamental principle on Wikiquote. In allowing anyone to edit, we must assume that most people who work on the project are trying to help it, not hurt it. If this weren't true, a project like Wikiquote would be doomed from the beginning. When you can reasonably assume that a mistake someone made was a well-intentioned attempt to further the goals of the project, correct it without criticizing. When you disagree with people, remember that they probably believe that they are helping the project. Consider using talk pages to explain yourself, and give others the opportunity to do the same. This can avoid misunderstandings and prevent problems from escalating. Good faith is obviously not bad faith.

====Good Faith rule: Suggested additional text ====
'''*But newcomers, beware that while there are some admins who apparently follow the assume good faith rule, there are some who assume bad faith and when they do  you may suddenly be banned without any warning and probably be given negative labels - which is a violation of one of the other rules:
[[Wikiquote:No_personal_attacks|No_personal_attacks]]  
'''
=== No Personal attacks===
*https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:No_personal_attacks 
*Don't do it[edit]There is no excuse for personal attacks on other contributors. Do not make them.

====Personal attacks - suggested additional text====
*'''But newcomers, please note that it  is viewed as being ok here for some of the admins to disregard that rule if &amp; when they feel like it  &amp; to make derogatory comments about editors whenever they want to, and to ignore other editors (who they like) whenever they also make personal attacks.'''  
&lt;HR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;
**that's all for now. 
{{collapse bottom}}
*We sincerely hope this feedback will help more see facts (reality) of the situation as some other see it.
**LibraryClerk0191

*'''The real struggle is not between the right and the left but between the party of the thoughtful and the party of the jerks.'''
**[[Jimmy Wales]] 

*Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed.  
**[[William Faulkner]]

:::In opposing a sockpuppet battalion using lying and deception to force their POV on Wikiquote, we are most definitely raising our voices for honesty and truth, so there's that. Thank you Mr. Faulkner. And I can add this bit from ''The Sound and the Fury'': &quot;...and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.&quot; We're not trying to &quot;win&quot; anything, O mighty sockpuppeteer -- we're trying to create a complete and neutral-point-of-view collection of quotes. If you come in good faith you can edit. But not this way. There's nothing &quot;good faith&quot; about making multiple accounts to present the illusion of being multiple people. Nothing. Ever. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:11, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
== When are userpages deleted on WQ and when are they not? ==

Every once in a while I discover users who have had their userpage deleted. It is not always done at a user's request (it happened to me a long time ago on a wmf-sister website), and the public reasons recorded by the deleting admin are sometimes ambiguous, if present at all.

I wonder about this because I have noticed quite a large  turnover of admins at WQ, and some admins who treat WQ as a secondary, or even as a stepping stone, residence. Am I the only one here  worried about the loss of community-memory? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:46, 23 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{u|Ottawahitech}}, user pages are only deleted if a user requests it or if it is pure spam. We don't get very many user pages used for vandalism often but if a page was just created for vandalism, it will also be deleted.
:With your second point, Wikiquote is not my home wiki (so you might say I count as one of those admins you are talking about) but I don't intend to delete random things and I don't think that's the case with anyone else. I can't see any admin here deleting a page for the hell of it, so I don't think you have to worry about old user pages being lost. Regards, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:55, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
== Clean up on Aisle Five ==

[[File:Naura Hayden 1959 promo.jpg|thumb|Every major U.S. war  of the last several decades has begun the same way: the U.S. government fabricates an inflammatory, emotionally provocative lie which [[Mainstream media|large U.S. media outlets]] uncritically treat as truth while refusing at air questioning or dissent, thus inflaming primal anger against the country the U.S. wants to attack... ~ [[Glenn Greenwald]]]] Sorry for the horrible image. I've recently seen it a lot, because it's a favorite of one POV-pushing editor who has added it here to lots of different articles.

By an abuse of multiple accounts, that POV-pushing editor has succeeded in disguising the extent of his solo contribution to many articles. He/she/they used Wikiquote to push pro-Kremlin, anti-Ukraine, anti-Israel, and anti-US editorializing, presented as &quot;quotes.&quot; 

For example&quot;  [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=International_law&amp;type=revision&amp;diff=3075989&amp;oldid=2757371 edits between March 2020 and Feb 17, 2022]  to the article [[International law]]. Quite the slant in those edits. Now take a look at the account names below (shown with their date of creation) all now blocked for being &quot;run&quot; by the same person. 

* [[Special:Contributions/GaneshaSis]]	(First edit made 10 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/EarthLibrarian]]	(19 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Will-SeymoreIII]]	(21 January 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191]]	(7 February 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/WeNotMeC020]]	(23 March 2020)
* [[Special:Contributions/Alphabravo2022]] 	(24 March 2022)
* [[Special:Contributions/Alicia-abdula-mcdonald]]	(27 March 2022)

Now take a look at the [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=International_law&amp;action=history page history of International law] and notice that every single edit made between March 2020 and Feb. 17, 2022 was made by a single person, disguising his hand by using all those different usernames. 

Two years of hard work by this person left a mess needing cleanup. I have been trying, at [[2021–2022 Russo-Ukrainian crisis‎]] and [[Ukraine]]. [[War crimes]] and [[Brainwashing]] are two more I've tried to fix. I would welcome advice on how we as a project can tackle this problem. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:55, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:Oy veh, is my first response. I started to make a list this morning, of theme pages needing cleanup -- this list is incomplete (feel free to add to it!) -- most horrifying is that many of these theme pages were created by one of the (usually blocked) sockpuppets, and almost every subsequent edit is by the same person running one or another of the accounts listed above. This list does not include people, although it could. Strikes me that a WQ page on a right- or left-wing extremists is a logical place for extremist quotes, so -- maybe that's fine. But I don't think it's fine having pages like [[war crimes]] where absolutely every &quot;quote&quot; is an unquotable slab of babble about how the US and its cronies commit and have committed all the war crimes ever. I exaggerate, but not by much. Not by much. This is a mess.

* ''[[Allegation]]''
* [[Anti-intellectualism]]
* ''[[Big lie]]''
* [[Censorship]]
* ''[[Colonialism]]''
* [[Conscience]]
* ''[[Corruption]]''
* ''[[Cover-up]]''
* ''[[Cowardice]]''
* [[Denial]]
* ''[[Diplomacy]]''
* ''[[Fanaticism]]''
* ''[[Foreign policy of the United States]]''
* [[Freedom]]
* [[Genocide denial]]
* ''[[Hegemony]]''
* [[Hypocrisy]]
* ''[[Information Warfare Community]]''
* [[Integrity]]
* [[Leadership]]
* [[Mafia state]]
* ''[[Mainstream media]]''
* [[Mass media]]
* ''[[Misinformation]]''
* [[Nuclear power]]
* [[Philistinism]]
* [[Power]]
* [[Propaganda]]
* [[Reality]]
* [[Regret]]
* [[Rule of law]]
* [[Self-pity]]
* [[Sensationalism]]
* [[Truth]]
* [[Tyranny]]
* [[Utopia]]
* ''[[War]]''
* ''[[War crimes]]''

:Feel free to add, remove, revise. We could italicize them when done, or initial, or something. Some quotes are probably fine; I've been trying to look individually rather than just blanket revert, but -- what is the best way? [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 21:07, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

:: {{re|Antandrus}} Closely related: articles that were created by, and predominantly edited by, these accounts:
*	''[[Big lie]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII on March 2, 2022. 
*	''[[Chevron Corporation]]'' created by GaneshaSis, just a COATRACK for material denouncing its treatment of ''[[Steven Donziger]]'' -- not a real &quot;quote&quot; between them. I nominated both for deletion on April 14. 
*	''[[Cover-up]]'', ''[[Allegation]]'', and ''[[Misinformation]]'', created by Alphabravo2022 on April 5, April 6, and April 6 respectively.
*	''[[Global catastrophic risk]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on February 26, 2022 from a copy-paste of ''[[Nuclear weapons]]'', another article targeted by the team.
*	''[[Honduras]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII, and it would be good to have an article about Honduras but this article is not about Honduras, it is just political POV-pushing
*	''[[Hysteria]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on March 10, 2022
*	''[[International Monetary Fund]]'' created by GaneshaSis
*	''[[Mafia state]]'' created by Alphabravo2022 on March 30, 2022, about half of which is quotes from [[Confessions of an Economic Hit Man]] (an article created by WeNotMeC020)
*	''[[Moral panic]]'' created by Will-SeymoreIII on March 12, 2022
*	''[[Mutual assured destruction]]'' created by Libraryclerk0191 on March 10, 2022
*	''[[Theodore Postol]]'' created by Alphabravo2022 on March 30, 2022 is taken entirely from one essay by Postol on the danger of nuclear war and very likely violates copyright law
*	''[[United States embargo against Cuba]]'' created by GaneshaSis
*	''[[United States sanctions]]'' created by GaneshaSis
:: It's hard to imagine a reader who wants a notable quote about Chevron or IMF or United States sanctions -- but if they did, those articles would not provide even one for them. Aside from [[Honduras]], these should be stubs or re-directs to a useful topic until/unless some helpful person creates a real article. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:34, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
::: Also trimmed ''[[Decadence]]'' and ''[[Scarcity]]'', 2 stubs created and inflated by Will-SeymoreIII. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:20, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

: {{Ping|HouseOfChange|Antandrus}} Thank you so much HouseOfChange and Antandrus for compiling these lists, this section is an excellent resource documenting the troll activity. The funny and sad part is I recognize seeing that exact image on several articles. As for notability of content, fully agreed on all points and there's not much else I've noticed yet, besides the same editors. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 09:23, 14 April 2022 (UTC)

:: {{Ping|Rauisuchian|Antandrus}} I nominated [[Steven Donziger]] and [[Chevron Corporation]] at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]. I think I did something wrong with the template, but I hope somebody there can fix it properly. I am going to put those article titles in italics, above, and if they get deleted I will use strike tags, assuming they work here. Step by step. And I got my taxes submitted as well. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 00:36, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::I think the VfDs are correct now (haven't done this before on WQ). Congratulations on the taxes :) 

::: Update, I am going to add italics to article titles where I have tried to start fixing them. If others do the same, the articles that may need help will stand out a bit more. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:23, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]]@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] @[[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]]: Shouldn't this discussion be taking place on the respective talk pages of the articles  mentioned above? Not all contributors of WQ read this noticeboard. If one wishes to involve the community in these discussions, one has to post where the community expects a discussion to take place. I think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:38, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
:::&lt;small&gt;Offtopic: @[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], in regards to your comment about taxes  above and since you said (through your edit summary): 
:::&lt;blockquote&gt; more italics, and yes, Easter is a holiday for me as well. Happy chocolate eggs to all who indulge!&lt;/blockquote&gt;
:::I thoght you will be pleased to find out that according to the website down detector the websites Taxslayer, Turbotax, IRS &amp; H&amp;R Block are right at the top of the charts for problems today, not only in North America but also in Europe, Asia , and more. I presume that means that:
:::# Many people around the world have to file taxes in the USA 
:::# Many people worldwide are not enjoying Easter, but instead are busy trying to get their taxes done [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:48, 17 April 2022 (UTC)&lt;/small&gt;

:::Update, I nominated at AfD a small set of the socks' articles, ones on topics unlikely to attract good quotes that function instead as fake Wikipedia articles, one-sided assertions presented as facts about their topics. See [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/FakeWikipedia]] if you want to comment. Adding italics to those articles listed above. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 22:52, 23 April 2022 (UTC)

::: Update, admin {{ping|BD2412}} suggested on my talk page that I make a talk page display of removed quotes. I went back to [[Propaganda]], where on April 25 i removed a lot of the socks' POV pushing including the screaming face and an utterly off-topic Abu Ghraib image. I added an explanation of each diff including ALL the removed quotes to the article talk page. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:46, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

=== Separate issue, requested block for white-nationalist IP ===
:::We still need a rangeblock on that IPv6 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64] from Australia. Any admins watching? {{ping|Ferien}}, can you help? That person pushes racist rubbish - [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Black_people&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3099510 this is typical]. &quot;Counter-currents.com&quot; is a white nationalist/white supremacist website, one of the ones trying to look respectable, like a set of freshly laundered KKK sheets. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:15, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
::::I've reverted more of the edits and blocked the latest incarnations of this user - but here is where I confess my technical limitations again (I am more of a content person than a technical one). I need some help regarding the necessary range block to better combat this situation. My knowledge and experience in these is rather limited (and in this case, it appears a bit more complex than usual). I have reviewed again [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Help:Range_blocks/IPv6 this page], but can anyone help provide some better guidance? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:41, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::Hi {{Ping|UDScott}} -- I'm not an admin here, obviously, but if the syntax is like it is on enwiki (pretty sure it's identical) you should be able to click either on [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64&amp;offset=&amp;limit=500&amp;target=2001%3A8003%3ADDAA%3A5A00%3AAC93%3ACDBC%3A7BC8%3A319E%2F64 2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64 here] and look for the &quot;block&quot; button, or  [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Block/2001:8003:DDAA:5A00:AC93:CDBC:7BC8:319E/64 maybe try this] (I've formatted the enwiki block link to be usable here). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 14:44, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{u|UDScott}}, TonyBallioni explains it much better on a Wikipedia essay - [[:w:WP:64]]. Blocking the /64 will usually block just one person, although if you're unsure whether it's one person from the contributions then you should just block the one IP. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:54, 15 April 2022 (UTC)

===  Who has Check User (CU) status on WQ? === 

I have been trying to follow the recent torrent of posts to this notice board without much success. One thing that has not been discussed is who at WQ has access to CU information.

I have included the  following text from  [[w:Wikipedia:CheckUser]]:

&lt;blockquote&gt;On the English Wikipedia, CheckUser access is entrusted to a restricted number of trusted users who can execute CheckUser inquiries at their own discretion. The permission is granted by Wikipedia's Arbitration Committee, after community consultation and vetting of the editor by the committee’s members and the functionary team. While there is no formal requirement that checkusers also be administrators, the Arbitration Committee has traditionally restricted applications to users who are currently administrators. Checkusers must be 18 years of age or older and have signed the Wikimedia Foundation's confidentiality agreement for nonpublic information before being appointed. The use of the CheckUser tool on the English Wikipedia is monitored and controlled by the Arbitration Committee, and checkusers may have their permissions revoked by the Arbitration Committee for misuse or abuse of the tool.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I would like to know if the same applies at WQ? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:47, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
: Nobody here has it. Our admins get help from the Wikimedia foundation if checkuser is needed here. It was checkuser done by those stewards that determined the misuse of multiple accounts we are now cleaning up from. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:28, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:(edit conflict) Good question. Looks like we [[Wikiquote:Requests_for_adminship#Requests_for_checkuser|do not have any current checkusers]], and &quot;Requests for checkuser actions can be made on the [[WQ:AN|noticeboard]] and a [[meta:Stewards|steward]] can be notified if needed.&quot; (As HoC indicates, we had help from stewards doing CU a couple days ago in unmasking the Libraryclerk sockpuppets listed above.) [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:30, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
* Yeah. We don't have it. It requires a majority support and at least 25 users in support in an election on a project without an ArbCom. We just don't have enough active users to get 25 supports in an election. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:36, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
::Although we used to have a couple in the past - but I don't think they are active users (or even still have it) any more. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:50, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|UDScott}}, indeed, [[Special:ListUsers/checkuser|we don't have any checkusers anymore]]. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 18:51, 15 April 2022 (UTC)

==== Comparison of ''privacy protection'' between Wikiquote ('''WQ''') and the English Wikipedia ('''ENWP''') ====

I guess everyone here agrees that  the '''WMF Stewards''' decide who is a socketpuppet at '''WQ''', not the '''WQ-admins''' who merely block the local sockpuppets?

If so, I guess the inhabitants of '''WQ''' have no say and do not enjoy  the same protections that are available  to those  who contribute to '''ENWP'''. What I mean by that is that sockpuppet investigations at '''ENWP''' are public and open  to  any member of the community who wishes to voice  an opinion. For example (thanks to [[User:Ferien]] for the following link): [[w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Pcmishradigital/Archive]]

Also it means that the privacy of all community members is protected by the community, not only by the few who are serving as '''Stewards'''? Thanks for your thoughts, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 19:38, 16 April 2022 (UTC)

:{{re|Ottawahitech}} People at Wikiquote can request and comment on checkuser requests made at [[:m:SRCU]]. In terms of privacy, as far as I'm aware, stewards do not go around checking community members' accounts unless a request is made at SRCU and there is good reason to suspect sockpuppetry, although I may be wrong. Stewards always work with the community, never against them, and most actions stewards take (global locks, global blocks, GS actions etc.) are supposed to be uncontroversial. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 15:07, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Ferien|Ferien]]: Thanks for responding, especially during Easter,  a holiday for many WQ contributors, I think?
::I wonder if you would be kind enough to provide pointers to readers who want to locate this particular check-user request on META-SRCU. I don't believe a direct link has been provided in any of the preceding posts(?).Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:20, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::{{u|Ottawahitech}}, there wasn't a checkuser request for this one, but the one user (Libraryclerk0191) was already blocked when the check was made and there were many accounts displaying very similar behaviour. And yes, Easter is a holiday for me. -- [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 16:25, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::&lt;small&gt;(Thanks @ Ferien, please feel free to finish your Easter in peace. The rest of this is directed  at the WQ community at large)&lt;/small&gt;
::::Here is what the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=block&amp;user=&amp;page=Libraryclerk0191&amp;wpdate=&amp;tagfilter=&amp;wpfilters%5B%5D=newusers  block log] for Libraryclerk0191 currently says:
::::&lt;blockquote&gt;22:42, 11 April 2022 Ferien talk contribs changed block settings for Libraryclerk0191 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite ('''account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Harassment: also disruption w/ false information / suspecting Russian propaganda. Also found to be abusing multiple accounts''') Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit&lt;/blockquote&gt;
::::In the interest of transparency and inclusiveness it should also include a META-CU request&amp;decision link, don’t you agree? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:54, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::These are sockpuppets of a user who has been adding pro-Russian propaganda since 2019, with cross-project concerns as well. I don't see what the issue is. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 19:38, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::@[[User:Vermont|Vermont]],
::::::Yes I agree it is difficult to follow this topic as it unfolds here. Having said that may I ask a couple of questions: 
::::::* Are you speaking as a private individual or are you speaking as a spokesperson for all wmf-Stewards?
::::::* Do you feel that individuals who are involved in WQ &quot;editing&quot; are entitled to online privacy?
::::::* Do you believe that Wikiquotiens are not entitled to the same protections that are afforded to Wikipedians?
::::::* How do you know that &quot;These are sockpuppets of a user who has been adding pro-Russian propaganda since 2019, with cross-project concerns as well&quot;?
::::::Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 20:32, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::::Sure. 
:::::::*I am always speaking as a private individual, I do not speak on behalf of all Stewards. And Stewards are not part of or related to the WMF. We're elected by the community, as you know.
:::::::*Individuals who edit Wikimedia projects are entitled to data privacy. For specifics, please refer to the [[m:Privacy policy|Privacy policy]].
:::::::*Editors of Wikimedia projects are all subject to the same privacy policy.
:::::::*Because I ran a check, and because I am somewhat familiar with this contributor.
:::::::I hope this answers your concerns. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help clarify. [[User:Vermont|Vermont]] ([[User talk:Vermont|talk]]) 21:48, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
::::: {{re|Ottawahitech}} (EC) I don't support adding new rules unless there's a problem the new rule would solve. I am grateful to {{u|Ferien}} for blocking the abusive sock and have zero problem with how Ferien did it. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:51, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
::::: So you guys are saying that a conclusion was made that all these accounts are sockpuppets '''without''' a checkuser investigation? In the interest of maintaining transparency and adhering to the Wikimedia standards, all communication based on which this was decided should be made public. - [[User:Emilijaknezevic|Emilija Knezevic]] ([[User talk:Emilijaknezevic|talk]]) 20:40, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::: {{re|Emilijaknezevic}} Nobody said that these blocks were made &quot;without a checkuser investigation.&quot; The checkuser was done, by a steward, on a small set of accounts identified as probable socks. &lt;small&gt;Why did people think they were socks? They repeatedly [[w:WP:IDENTICAL|edited the same articles]], often [[w:WP:OBSART|obscure ones]]. For example, on March 11, LibraryClerk creates a new article [[Hysteria]] and within 24 hours GaneshaSis and WeNotMeC020 [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Hysteria&amp;action=history LC edit there]. [[Honduras]] was created by one sock but [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Honduras&amp;action=history edited by 3 others as well].&lt;/small&gt; Checkuser exists to stop people from abusing multiple accounts. This person was abusing multiple accounts for more than a year, and in the process making Wikiquote notably worse. As far as I can tell, nobody other than {{u|Ottawahitech}} has complained about what happened or how it was done. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 21:55, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::: I understand the interest in transparency. It's important (and ironically, this very thing was a theme with these sockpuppets, who babbled on and on about supposed lack-of-transparency, conspiracies, tails-wagging-dogs, nefarious plans by Global Evil Entities, governments hiding things, etc. etc.) -- however this is the way things go on small wikis that do not have the means to keep their own boards of checkusers, arbitrators, oversighters, and so forth. The bigger the project, the more bureaucratic it becomes. The smaller, the more free of bureaucracy -- and the more vulnerable to abuse. That's what happened here. When someone makes a sockpuppet battalion and gets away with pushing a POV for '''years''' (since 2019) before being caught, that's a ''catastrophe'' for an open project. A visitor to one of our sockpuppet-created pages is going to look at it and laugh -- ''this'' is NPOV? give me a break, they'd say -- for none of those pages were remotely NPOV! The pages screamed of an astroturfing campaign -- the socks pushed and pushed to make basic topics like [[war crimes]] about one thing and one thing only: alleged war crimes committed by one especially hated party.
::::::: As I see it, asking a trusted steward to do a checkuser on a band of screaming obvious socks was an essential and easy way to solve this. How else? Should we have attempted to set up a local checkuser facility first? Maybe so! There may be policy solutions we haven't tried yet. Do we need a global sockpuppet investigation page, on Meta, for smallish projects that don't have their own (i.e. not enwiki, dewiki, etc.)? 
::::::: Open to ideas. I just want to see Wikiquote better defended from POV-pushing campaigns. I think that's probably an important goal for us all. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 22:14, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]], you said: '''As I see it, asking a trusted steward to do a checkuser was an essential and easy way to solve this'''
::::::::Are you suggesting that [[User talk:Ferien#Successful RfA|newly-minted]] WQ-admin @[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] did not follow his own advice to 
::::::::&lt;blockquote&gt;People at Wikiquote can request and comment on checkuser requests made at m:SRCU&lt;/blockquote&gt;
::::::::but instead  privately contacted his fellow simple-wiki-admin [[User:Vermont]] with a request to go on a fishing trip to identify '''a band of screaming obvious socks''' at WQ? 
::::::::Just trying to verify that this is what you said above, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:44, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::{{re|Ottawahitech}} Actually, it was the other way around. Vermont got in contact with me after noticing that these may be socks and then gave the account names to me to block. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 13:50, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
== GRP returns ==

and is vandalizing [[Deception]], [[September 11 attacks]], [[The Pentagon]], [[Hatred]], and [[User talk:EthanGaming7640]]. Stop him. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 13:48, 28 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:EthanGaming7640|EthanGaming7640]] Is this in regard to [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037#GRP_returns] ?
:Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:33, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
== [[m:Requests for comment/Global de-adminship for Jusjih]] ==

A user is requesting to &quot;global de-admin&quot; (sorry I really don't know how likely if this could be happened) {{ping|Jusjih}} which in requestor's claim, has many disruptive and abusive behaviors in several Chinese-language projects and Meta-Wiki, the requestor is also mentioned en.wikiquote here where Jusjih is also an administrator, but didn't say anything else on their en.wikiquote's behaviors. Do any of our adminships that may or may not familiar Jusjih's works know how to resolve it? --[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]] ([[User talk:Liuxinyu970226|talk]]) 05:17, 29 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]], Thank you so much for bringing this discussion on Meta to the attention of those who read this busy notice-board. It is not often that we are informed by someone who is not a wmf-employee of events happening on other wmf-projects.
:I myself cannot participate on Meta where I am infinitely blocked (I am probably not unique), but I still appreciate being notified since the person being discussed (@Jusjih:) is also a WQ-admin. However, I would like to ask other participants here if it wouldn't be better to post this on the [[wikiquote:Village Pump|Village Pump]] for those who do not read this politics-noticeboard
:Do others here have an opinion they would like to share? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:10, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} you can see the discussion by clicking on section title. There seems to be a dispute in some zh-wikis, where some of their admins complained about Jusijih, also an admin there, using this RfC. The general admin response to the complaint seems to be OFFS, with which I agree. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]],
:::Re: you can see the discussion
:::I know I can view the discussions on META. What I cannot do is participate.
:::Re:  RfC, OFFS
:::What do those mean - can you provide a link please
:::Re: [[User:Jusjih]] 
:::Jusijih is not an admin here on Wikiquote, but Jusjih is [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:00, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::: Re Jusjih/Jusijih, my bad spelling. RfC = Request for Comment, e.g. [[w:Wikipedia:Requests for comment]]. OFFS = &quot;Oh, for fuck's sake.&quot; I guess [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/FFS FFS] is more common. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:15, 5 May 2022 (UTC)

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== [[m:Requests for comment/Global de-adminship for Jusjih]] ==

A user is requesting to &quot;global de-admin&quot; (sorry I really don't know how likely if this could be happened) {{ping|Jusjih}} which in requestor's claim, has many disruptive and abusive behaviors in several Chinese-language projects and Meta-Wiki, the requestor is also mentioned en.wikiquote here where Jusjih is also an administrator, but didn't say anything else on their en.wikiquote's behaviors. Do any of our adminships that may or may not familiar Jusjih's works know how to resolve it? --[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]] ([[User talk:Liuxinyu970226|talk]]) 05:17, 29 April 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:Liuxinyu970226|Liuxinyu970226]], Thank you so much for bringing this discussion on Meta to the attention of those who read this busy notice-board. It is not often that we are informed by someone who is not a wmf-employee of events happening on other wmf-projects.
:I myself cannot participate on Meta where I am infinitely blocked (I am probably not unique), but I still appreciate being notified since the person being discussed (@Jusjih:) is also a WQ-admin. However, I would like to ask other participants here if it wouldn't be better to post this on the [[wikiquote:Village Pump|Village Pump]] for those who do not read this politics-noticeboard
:Do others here have an opinion they would like to share? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:10, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} you can see the discussion by clicking on section title. There seems to be a dispute in some zh-wikis, where some of their admins complained about Jusijih, also an admin there, using this RfC. The general admin response to the complaint seems to be OFFS, with which I agree. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 03:22, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]],
:::Re: you can see the discussion
:::I know I can view the discussions on META. What I cannot do is participate.
:::Re:  RfC, OFFS
:::What do those mean - can you provide a link please
:::Re: [[User:Jusjih]] 
:::Jusijih is not an admin here on Wikiquote, but Jusjih is [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:00, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
:::: Re Jusjih/Jusijih, my bad spelling. RfC = Request for Comment, e.g. [[w:Wikipedia:Requests for comment]]. OFFS = &quot;Oh, for fuck's sake.&quot; I guess [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/FFS FFS] is more common. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:15, 5 May 2022 (UTC)

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== Is having more than one name here really a Felony? ==

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Around two years ago, while reading the rules about wikiquotes/wikimedia,  it was noted that  any editor who uses more than one name, should have a good reason for that.  Apparently &amp; suddenly,  wanting to be anonymous, wanting to keep a low profile,  while sincerely trying to contribute to the project, while avoiding egotism, is in the view of  some admins, NOT a good reason.  If it is in fact a terrible felony, surely  it would help the project if that were  made clear from the start. {{Unsigned2| 17:06, 25 April 2022‎|66.190.126.146}}
: Another data point: A Wikipedia account busily [[w:Special:Contributions/Kalsarimyrkyttäjä| adding links to Wikiquote pages worked on by the socks]] is apparently itself [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAuth/Kalsarimyrkytt%C3%A4j%C3%A4 a sock of Risto hot sir]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 20:14, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

::It is very comforting to know your superiors have all the answers, and have got you fixing everything up for everyone. Easier if we don't have to think for ourselves right? You should be warned that you are on the wrong side of history, your side is destined to be defeated. Truth will prevail &amp; all will come out in the wash.  Don't worry though, we don't believe in or tolerate torture or anything that goes against the rule of law. There's still time for you to put down your keyboard and go home. Our karmic records keep running til we learn all the lessons there are to learn &amp; pay all our debts. [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31|24.214.70.31]] 22:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
::: I feel sorry for you, but my goal here is to improve a project I believe in, creating a free compendium of notable quotations attached to their sources. 

::: But if [[Special:Contributions/66.190.126.146]] and [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31]] are posting on behalf of a permanently-blocked sock farm, it would be great if someone ACTUALLY stops those IPs from daily harassment here with nonsense edits. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 23:31, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

:::'''Support''' blocking IP socks evading a block and removing their edits. I know this isn't enwiki, where I have been an admin since 2005, and there are wiki-cultural differences between this small, pleasant project and that big bureaucratic one, but still -- this kinda needs to happen. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 23:41, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

:::: I just [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;curid=114956&amp;diff=3104100&amp;oldid=3104045 reverted vandalism here by another IP] treating this page as a playground [[Special:Contributions/156.210.190.90]]. It's a shame to waste admins' time on such nonsense, especially when we have so few. {{ping|Antandrus}} can we hand you a Wikiquote broom to go with the WP broom? [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:17, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] why? or should I just say '''oppose''' without an explanation? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 04:00, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] -- Do you mean &quot;why do I think block-evading IPs or socks should be blocked&quot; or &quot;why should their edits be removed&quot;? ''If'' that is what you are asking, -- because blocking/banning has no point if we just let people evade their blocks and come back with a different IP address. It's like kicking a burglar out of your house and locking the front door, but leaving the side door open, and treating the returning burglar as a separate problem. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 16:35, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
::::::@Ottawahitech: It's also like a corrupt cop interfering with law abiding citizens because the dirty cop's got a bug up his butt. Just a few hundred years ago some of them were officials of the [[Inquisition|inquisiton]] who burned/executed people at the stake for having the audacity to question their supreme authority. They'll eventually grasp the fact that the old solutions are no longer working.  Til then, it looks like they're hanging on to [[denial]]! Bless their little hearts! [[Special:Contributions/47.48.129.234|47.48.129.234]] 17:57, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
:::::*@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] &amp; others,
::::::Maybe I am just lucky, but I cannot think of any page on WQ where I saw edits by anyone that deserved a block. As far as socks are concerned, I don't really care what status someone has on other wmf-projects if  they are trying to be helpful. Its not like we have an abundance of willing bodies around here. To me every helpful person is precious because they are so few and far between. 
::::::My aim is to build up content, maybe not the way some of the others here want it built but, at least so far, I have not had the same kind of resistance to my &quot;edits&quot; that I  experienced on other wmf-projects. I believe that when one works with volunteers, one cannot order people around (unless you are at enwp :-) I personally find it an annoyance when the many who help me build content here are routinely blocked for some perceived offense. YMMV [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:06, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::@[[User:Ottawahitech]] -- I understand what you are saying, and agree with some of your points -- particularly that the community here is small (too small, in my opinion -- wish we could get more Wikiquoters/Wikiquotiens). However that particular person had no conception of [[WQ:NPOV]]. Usually newbies are trainable, and if you point them towards policies like NPOV they'll get it, and become better contributors. Worse, he ran a sockpuppet farm, and there was nothing innocent about it: it was deliberate deception. It's not like he forgot his password and needed to start new accounts now and then for any innocent reason -- those socks were ''designed'' to look like different people (one &quot;JulianVerdadCastro&quot; alleged to speak Spanish, another French, one pretended to be Indian and female, another had a US-military-sounding name, and so forth). That is dishonest, particularly maddening given that the person babbled on and on about &quot;truth&quot;. It's [[w:astroturfing]], to manufacture a false picture of many people supporting a POV. It was ONE PERSON. And he's still here, coming back again and again as IP socks. On enwiki he would have never have succeeded in running his sock campaign for more than two years, but that's what happens on small wikis. I was astounded when I first discovered his &quot;work&quot; -- entire theme pages filled top-to-bottom with OMG THE US IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND RUSSIA IS INNOCENT rubbish. The more I looked, the worse it got.
:::::::Don't get me wrong on this important thing: we do need some of these quotes, but we cannot fill up entire pages with them. You need balance. NPOV is the core issue in Wikimedia projects, and is non-negotiable (there's a Jimbo quote somewhere about this, and I agree with him). [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 01:50, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
::::::::@[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]],  When you say: &quot;that particular person&quot; do you mean [[user:Libraryclerk0191]] who was, if memory serves, determined to be the sock-puppeteer leading a whole slew of other WQ sock-puppets, with the intent to deceive and provide misinformation (or is it disinformation?) to the masses who follow every word ever uttered on WQ? Is this the one who has been filling WQ with &quot;OMG THE US IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND RUSSIA IS INNOCENT rubbish&quot;?
::::::::More generally for those who, like both of us, agree that NPOV is necessary in order to create a useful resource: how can you achieve this goal when you have a social network (yes, this is what we have here) that silences (not necessarily by intent) those whose views are in the minority? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:23, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::@[[User:Ottawahitech]] As far as I know we're not suppressing the person's ''views'' (yes, it's LibraryClerk). Anyone can add that stuff. He's blocked for sockpuppetting. He happens to have a rather strident extremist POV, which is how we noticed. I just don't see a way out of this one; if you have a sockpuppet policy you have to enforce it. Would WQ be better if we looked the other way and let him carry on? Seriously -- make the case and I'll listen, but I just don't think that's the way to achieve NPOV. We all have to be above-board, honest, and as aware of our own POVs as humanly possible. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:08, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
::::::::::As far as I know WQ does not have a '''sockpuppet policy'''. If we are following someone else's policy,  it is only fair to spell it out, don't you think? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:26, 7 May 2022 (UTC)
:::::::::::Interesting - our page on sockpuppetry is marked as an essay, but yet [[Wikiquote:Blocking_policy]] includes sockpuppetry as a reason to be blocked. Would like to hear from some actual admins on this -- maybe an inconsistency that's just never been fixed? [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 17:34, 7 May 2022 (UTC)

{{outdent}}@[[User:Ottawahitech]] The sockmaster edited here for years, and made many good edits as well as bad ones. He wasn't blocked for his POV, or for a few bad edits, however. Suppose he had used those socks to push the opposite POV &quot;OMG RUSSIA IS THE MOST EVIL COUNTRY ON EARTH AND THE US IS INNOCENT.&quot; That would have been equally wrong, and he would have been equally blocked once people caught on. He was using fake identities to pretend wide support for his views and, even worse from a policy POV, he kept on editing after being blocked. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Blocking_policy#CheckUser_blocks Getting unblocked is not impossible], but you have to make the case that you learned from your experience and won't do the same things wrong again. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 02:57, 4 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] Re: Getting unblocked is not impossible
:Not impossible, but most improbable (sorry I could not resist :-) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 03:21, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
{{Collapse bottom}}
== Inappropriate user name ==

User [[User:CUMCUMCUMui]] has an inappropriate user name. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 20:00, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
== Vandalism ==

on [[Talk:Pope Urban II]]. Page must be deleted. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 19:24, 13 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:EthanGaming7640|EthanGaming7640]]: Have you reported this on [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]. Just curious. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:15, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
::I had not. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Trebuchet MS;&quot;&gt;[[m:User:EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#000;&quot;&gt;Ethan&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:EthanGaming7640#top|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#888;&quot;&gt;Gaming&lt;/span&gt;]][[Special:Contribs/EthanGaming7640|&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;7640&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 23:06, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
:::May I ask why not? Your heading suggests that this post is related to vandalism, is it not? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:33, 15 May 2022 (UTC)
== Trying to post quotes to &quot;Reparations to Slavery&quot; ==

Are you intentionally blocking that page? When i try to post this notice comes up...&quot; This action has been automatically identified as harmful, and therefore disallowed.&lt;BR&gt;Please advise&lt;BR&gt;[[Special:Contributions/24.42.166.244|24.42.166.244]] 02:13, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

:Incorrectly flagged as GRP, maybe you used certain keywords? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 02:51, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
::Maybe try creating an account. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 03:53, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
:thanks 24.42.166.244, I just happened to see this so will have to keep this in mind and not edit [[RtS]]. There was a fascinating piece on 60-minutes relating to [[slavery]] that I am trying to fit into an existing page, but have not figured out where it fits best [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:17, 18 May 2022 (UTC)
{{outdent}} Can we please get a sock check on [[Special:Contributions/24.214.70.31]], because it looks like the blocked sockpuppeteer doing the same exact stuff as before. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 14:29, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], Not everyone on this project follows closely everything related to the '''war on Socks'''. Can you be a little more specific: why are you asking for a sock check on 24.42.166.244 who contributed the opening remarks on this thread? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:33, 19 May 2022 (UTC)
:: {{re|Ottawahitech}} My comment, posted here on the Admin noticeboard was a request for an admin to take some action. There is no &quot;war on Socks&quot; aside from a wish among many people that the same person &quot;LibaryClerk&quot; who has repeatedly been blocked for making inappropriate edits at Wikiquote should not continue simply by taking a new username or using an IP or an open proxy. There is no crusade to remove that person's good edits or to blank their userpages. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:39, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], the '''war on socks''' has been going on for years, way before I joined WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 13:08, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
== Account deletion ==

{{Qs|Can you please delete my account and reattribute all edits?}} – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) {DELETION IN PROGRESS} 06:08, 22 May 2022 (UTC)
== Madman in Bulldozer on Aisle Five ==

[[File:Bauhaus Marionette Nachbau Der-Bucklige-Frontal.jpg|thumb|the bulldozer operator?]]
:For anyone interested, it should be noted that &quot;HouseofChange&quot; is wildly pushing his (or a puppetmaster's?) POV. All the quotes bulldozed wrecklessly in bulk carte blanche, over the past couple of months  were ALL approved by the regular Admins here months ago. They made zero objections to the material and are  known to scrutinize everything posted here without delay. Suddenly a very loudmouthed newcomer arrived on the set, has over-ruled the judgement of the other admins, and is very heroically, loudly,  rescuing the entire project  from the diabolical work of a villain who slipped hundreds of quotations &amp; new pages into the system while the all guards were sound asleep? Really??!!  What a mystery.  Maybe the bulldozer operator and a few others, are working for corrupt elements of the U.S. Government, knuckleheads who hate the truth &amp; love censorhip, coverups and their skills in the art of deception [[Information Warfare Community|&quot;information dominance&quot;]]???? What happened?  Does wikipedia give refunds to extremely disappointed donors??  May fearful people quit being afraid. May everyone feel the peace that passes understanding.  May God help us all!
* It would probably be more helpful if you just dryly told us what the problem was instead of trying to be so supremely colorful. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:43, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

: He seems pretty neutral to me. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]]) 02:05, 10 May 2022 (UTC)

: (EC) Nobody has called the sockmaster &quot;diabolical&quot; or a &quot;villain.&quot;  I am new here but I have been [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/HouseOfChange&amp;dir=prev&amp;target=HouseOfChange active at Wikipedia since 2014]. My edit history is clear and public. And unfortunately for the sockmaster, their combined edit history is also clear and public, although they tried to hide it by caping their views behind multiethnic identities. So LibraryClerk was the same person as GaneshaSis who was the same person as WASPy-sounding WillSeymoreIII. Military-sounding AlphaBravo2022 was the same person as triply-ethnic Alicia-abdula-mcdonald  (she was for a while giving edit summaries in French.) That's deception. And once LibraryClerk got banned but kept right on posting using other accounts, that's abusive sockpuppetry that gets editors blocked, per longtime policy. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:07, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], you say that your &quot; edit history is clear and public&quot;. but when I try to use Xtools to look at your contribution history I see &lt;blockquote&gt;This user has not opted in to have this data shown. Please either login to XTools as this user, or create User:HouseOfChange/EditCounterOptIn.js with any content. See the documentation for more information.&lt;/blockquote&gt; Would you pease allow wikiquotiens to see your contributions on this wiki by simply clicking '''Supercount''' at the bottom of your contributions page? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:19, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
::: What is public and plain is [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/HouseOfChange my contribution history]. (I can see yours and everybody else's that way.) I am not sure what privacy rights I'd be giving away by opting into making my edit counts public, so I don't plan to do that unless for some very good reason. I made very few edits to Wikiquote until this year, so it shouldn't be hard for people to analyze.  [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:16, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
::::@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]]The analysis of your edits through  Xtools on enwp is available for anyone to see. Are you saying that you trust enwp more than you trust enwq? if so, who is it that you trust less on wikiquote:
::::* Readers
::::* Users
::::* Admins
::::* Visitors from other wmf-projects such as Stewards, Global sysops, swmt members, renamers, etc.
::::* anyone else
::::Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 10:50, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

{{outdent}} I am here to help build WikiQuote, not for drama and personal interactions. I am not interested in continuing this discussion, or any other that doesn't directly bear on WikiQuote. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:06, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

:@[[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]], so am I. I  posted my question above because I believe it is very relevant to the health of Wikiquote. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 12:49, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

:: I disagree, and I have no intention of 1) changing my settings or 2) replying to your dramatic speculation about what my motivations might be. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:37, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

== &quot;LibraryClerk&quot; editing from IP ==

This IP is clearly a new sock of &quot;LibraryClerk&quot;: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/24.42.166.244

Could some admin please block this new sock that is evading LibraryClerk's block? Otherwise Wikiquote will continue to get edits such as [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Corruption&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3118813 this major POV push]. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 07:33, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
* I don't see that this account is registered on any project. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:35, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
** {{re|GreenMeansGo}} I should have given the full name,  [[Special:Contributions/Libraryclerk0191]]. I don't have a link to the  sockpuppet investigation but the aftermath was discussed [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/037#Comparison_of_privacy_protection_between_Wikiquote_(WQ)_and_the_English_Wikipedia_(ENWP) here]. Apparently {{u|Vermont}} did a checkuser, because it looked as if LC191 was continuing to edit from other usernames.  Then {{u|Ferien}} blocked LC191's sock accounts identified from the sock check, IIUC. Please somebody block this IP who is CLEARLY the same person, from creating new clean-up problems. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 11:37, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 11:31, 31 May 2022 (UTC)

== Account deletion ==

I have decided to not delete my account, I would like my User Page undeleted, I will be un-redacting comments. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) {{Ds|{DELETION IN PROGRESS}}} 04:39, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:29, 1 June 2022 (UTC)

== Redirect request ==

Can someone please make [[☭]] redirect to [[communism]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:14, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
: A redirect from what? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:56, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|UDScott}} From [[☭]] to [[Communism]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
:::Ah, I see. However, this symbol is on the list of disallowed page titles. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:00, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} That’s why I’m asking for an admin to do it, it exists on Wikipedia. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 13:01, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
:::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Sockpuppet investigation ==

I think [[Special:contribs/221.120.208.175|221.120.208.175]] might be a Sockpuppet of [[User:GHOSTWORKER|GHOSTWORKER]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 05:03, 4 June 2022 (UTC)

{{Ds|No I donot Know him 221.120.208.175}}

: ??? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:41, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Link hijacking ==

Admins, do you check links for hijacking? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:49, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

:E.g.? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::Like sending a link to malware or some kind of unauthorized Administrator/Bureaucrat action disguised as something else. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:58, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

&lt;s&gt;Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Ilovemydoodle&amp;oldid=3111786 this]?&lt;/s&gt; Edit: Done. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 14:01, 7 June 2022 (UTC)

== LTA horror decade sock strikes again ==

IP user 2600:387:15:630:0:0:0:8 is a LTA talk page vandal sock. [[User:Dronebogus|Dronebogus]] ([[User talk:Dronebogus|talk]]) 01:49, 8 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 01:56, 8 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request (2) ==

Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3115216&amp;diffmode=source this]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:38, 10 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:10, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 04:25, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request (3) ==

Could someone please revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Will_Smith&amp;oldid=3110155 this]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:04, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} Revdel should be reserved for particularly egregious material (doxxing, linking to spam, personal insults) and this edit is not that. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:15, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

== Edit filter ==

{{ping|koavf}} Could you add &quot;VVKLOSER&quot; to the Edit Filter? (it's commonly used by GRP) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 06:51, 11 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{not done}} {{u|Ferien}} Do you want to do this? You have a filter for this abuser and I think you could incorporate it into that one. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:18, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::{{u|Koavf}}, yep, I'll take a look at that now, probably not too difficult to do. The filter itself is mainly a copy of simplewiki's as his behaviour is almost identical here. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:24, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
:::{{done}} --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:28, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Well it doesn’t seem to be working: VVKLOSER VVKLOSER VVKLOSER VVKLOSER. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:43, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

== Page protection may be needed ==

[[Bubble Guppies]] is being repeatedly recreated with no quotes, page protection may be needed. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 19:32, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
:Also the same keeps happening with [[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 00:43, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
::Also with [[Yo Gabba Gabba]]‎ and to a lesser extent [[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:56, 15 June 2022 (UTC)

== Requested move ==

Can an admin move [[Zork Grand Inquisitor]] to [[Zork: Grand Inquisitor]], over the current redirect? Cheers, [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 17:16, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 00:47, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you {{u|UDScott}}. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 05:41, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Protected move request ==

Could the pages [[Template:Test4]] and [[Template:Test4im]] be swapped? They seem to be the reverse of what they should be (also to be consistent with Wikipedia). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 03:02, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Revdel request ==

Could someone revdel [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User:SHUMBH&amp;oldid=3133965 this] edit summary? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 12:12, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:11, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

== Archive.is ==

Can we add archive.is to the abuse filter? Or whatever domain they're using now. It is commonly abused by GRP and I see no real use of it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:45, 1 July 2022 (UTC)

== Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! ==

The page [[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]] is being repeatedly recreated with no quotes. I think page protection is needed. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:22, 5 July 2022 (UTC)
:Already done - my first step was to protect it from IP edits...if it continues, will take further steps. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:23, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

::Ok, thank you {{u|UDScott}}. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:32, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request for Importer ==

&lt;span style=&quot;position: absolute; visibility: hidden;&quot;&gt;@[[User:Aphaia]] @[[User:BD2412]] @[[User:DannyS712]] @[[User:Ferien]] @[[User:GreenMeansGo]] @[[User:Illegitimate Barrister]] @[[User:Jusjih]] @[[User:Kalki]] @[[User:Koavf]] @[[User:Mdd]] @[[User:Miszatomic]] @[[User:Ningauble]] @[[User:Pmlineditor]] @[[User:UDScott]]
&lt;!-- All users after this line are not admins, just want to be pinged. You, yourself, can be added here, too, just add yourself below this line. --&gt;
@[[User:Ilovemydoodle]]&lt;/span&gt;@$[[Special:ListUsers/sysop|AllAdministrators]]: (pinging because the admins don’t seem to check this page often)

I regularly need to import pages from Wikipedia and other wikis, so I am requesting the &lt;code&gt;import&lt;/code&gt; right to make this process much easier, provide better attribution, and to allow the reversal, modification, and viewing of pre-import revisions. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:37, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

:As pointed out on my talk, a bureaucrat will need to actually do this. Have you done importing before? Are you willing to do the cleanup necessary (e.g. when there are redlinks)? Can you give an idea of what you'd want to import, as the content pages from Wikipedia will not always be relevant here (tho some of them would be, as there are articles tagged with quotation sections that should be imported)? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:30, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|koavf}} Yes, I have imported hundreds of templates (properly). – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:32, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::I cannot recall any other requests for this right in the past - and it appears that this can actually only be done by a steward. Per the [[w:Wikipedia:User_access_levels#Importers_and_transwiki_importers|relevant page on WP]], &quot;This access is highly restricted and is only available for assignment to a limited number of very trusted users by stewards following a special community approval discussion.&quot; I don't think that you wishing to have it to make some tasks easier qualifies. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 22:37, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::{{ping|UDScott}} I am very confused. The option is available already to admins, so why do I need to be more trusted to get a lower-level user right? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:39, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::I just quoted what I read on the subject (as I had to look into it, having never received such a request before) - take it up with a steward if you have an issue, as it does not appear I could grant it to you even if I wanted to. As to your question - admins already go through a special community approval process in order to become admins. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 22:45, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::{{ping|UDScott}} So, admins can be appointed by bureaucrats, but importers have to be appointed by stewards. If so, then why do you have to go through a far-more thorough appointing process to get a lesser user right? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:48, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
:::::::I don't see that it is any more thorough than that for admins. In both cases, a community discussion is required, it's just different roles that actually grant the permission after said discussion. I'm also not really inclined to say that importing is really a lesser user right - it could certainly be abused in the wrong hands. I am not saying you would abuse it, but I can see why it is not so easily granted. I do still have some reluctance to grant you additional rights anyway, as I still do not understand all that you are trying to do here, and I still maintain that much of your template work is redundant and wasted and steamrolls existing templates already in use. You demonstrate an impatience that in my mind is not compatible with someone with advanced user rights on the site. By the way, you're asking these questions to me as if I was the author of the cited policies - I am not. And I have no idea why any of this was set up this way (other than to be judicious in granting such rights, as I mentioned already). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 23:04, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::{{ping|UDScott}} Well, my point is not that is or is not a &quot;lesser right&quot;, but that it is not a greater right. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:16, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

== Report concerning Achim110 ==

{{U|Achim110}} is making some weird edits. On [[Wikidata]], {{GENDER:Achim110|he|she|they}} [[Special:Diff/3125691/3141310|replaced the Wikidata logo with a (nonexistent) Wikinews logo]], with several other nonsensical logo edits in between. Some of their other page creations seem to be random copy+pasted “administrative” wikitext; at [[Keir Graff]], they’ve created a purported block review by [[User:Keir Graff]] (whose user page Achim also created, and who also isn’t blocked on English Wikiquote as far as I can tell). Can someone check what’s going on? [[User:Lucas Werkmeister|Lucas Werkmeister]] ([[User talk:Lucas Werkmeister|talk]]) 14:29, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: This user has been permanently blocked, and a mass deletion of all pages created by the account performed. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:08, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
== Edit war ==

There has been an ongoing edit war on [[Sonic the Hedgehog 2]] on whether &quot;Shadow&quot;'s eyes are orange or red. Can this be sorted out? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:05, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done|Solved}} '''&lt;sup&gt;(Hopefully)&lt;/sup&gt;''' by [[User:Koavf|Koavf]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 07:14, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
== Crosswiki spammer ==

On the [[:Education in India]] page, please hide the two edits immediately prior to my edit. They contain a spam link being pushed across numerous wikis. Cheers. ['''[[:User:Cromium|&lt;sub&gt;24&lt;/sub&gt;Cr]]''']['''[[:User talk:Cromium|talk]]'''] 12:40, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:53, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
== Broken links in contributions page ==

also, while I'm here, the SUL info link in [[MediaWiki:Sp-contributions-footer]] leads to a deleted tool, and the &quot;supercount&quot; tool has been renamed to xtools and moved to a different domain. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 01:03, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

:{{done}} Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]] Sorry, you seem to have gotten that back to front. The link you removed still works, but it now redirects you to a different site because it was replaced by a new tool. The one that is broken without replacement is the &quot;SUL info&quot; link. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:25, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
:::done}} Whoopsie daisy. Thanks.{ —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:28, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
== Salt a page title for use in documentation ==

Hello,

I'm planning on re-writing {{tl|redlink}} at some point in the next few days to make the implementation of this template a bit more sensible. As part of that I'd like to set it up so it creates links to a salted page title, rather than a random subpage of the template. Would someone be willing to creation protect a title for this purpose? Something like [[Wikiquote:redlink example]] would work well. I know from experience if you use an unprotected redlink in documentation someone is just going to create the page. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:19, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 16:26, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

== Request to move some templates ==

Hello, I'm working through some template clean-up and have found some pages that I think should be moved. In addition can whoever moves them delete or supress any resulting redirects, as they will not be helpful.

Firstly, can someone please remove the admin level protection from [[Template:error]] and move [[Template:error2]] to this title? There's no real reason for this template to have a number in its title except to get around the page salting (which seems to have been a bit of an overkill response for a single piece of IP vandalism).

Secondly can someone make the following moves, deleting any redirects:
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd2}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd2}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd3}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd3}}
*{{tl|Template:Uw-afd4}} → {{tl|Template:Uw-vfd4}}
Because there is no such thing as &quot;articles for deletion&quot; on this project. There are no current usages of these templates, so no real need to leave a redirect. I cleaned up the text of these templates a few days ago, but the title still needs to be changed.

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 18:31, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} (all four move requests). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:44, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
== Clean-up help needed ==

Hello again, sorry for all the messages.

I need a bit of help cleaning up a bit of a mess I just found via [[Special:WantedCategories]] while cleaning up some template documentation.

It seems that about a month ago Ilovemydoodle tried to rename some categories, which they did by just moving the category page, without updating the actual category links in articles. The moved categories were therefore deleted as empty categories, and the redirects left over from the move (which is where all the actual pages are) were deleted as redirects to a deleted page.

For each of these pages either the category page either needs to be undeleted and moved back to the title where the articles are, or the category page needs to be undeleted and the articles moved to the new category.

List of Category pages and the articles supposed to be in them:
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Pakistan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Pakistanis]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Bahrain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Bahraini]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Burundi]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Burundians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Russia]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Russians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Rwanda]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Rwandans]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Senegal]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Senegalese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from the Solomon Islands]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Solomon Islanders]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Spain]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Spaniards]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Swaziland]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Swazi]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Türkiye]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Turkish people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Tanzania]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tanzanians]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Thailand]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Thai people]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Togo]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Togolese]]
* Category page deleted at [[:Category:People from Taiwan]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Taiwanese people]]
* Category page deleted at [[: Category:People from Tuvalu]], articles supposed to be in it at [[:Category:Tuvaluan]]

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 20:40, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:35, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
::Thank you. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:40, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
* {{re|Ilovemydoodle}} You can't just move categories like that. The cat page is just a dumbly compiled automatic list. The thing that actually puts the page in the category is on each article individually. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 20:48, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
== Speedy deletion backlog ==

Hello,

[[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]] is quite badly backlogged, there are pages in it that have been tagged for &quot;speedy&quot; deletion since the start of June. Would someone be able to take a look?

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 10:43, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:04, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] I've just spotted that [[Module:Message box/m]] was tagged for speedy deletion, but because templates don't work in module space it wasn't sorted into the category. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:06, 30 July 2022 (UTC)

== Requesting an edit to a protected page. ==

Hello, I've made a few edits to the version of [[Template:Unreferenced]] copied from wikipedia, the new code is at [[Template:Unreferenced/sandbox]], please could someone copy the code from the sandbox page into the main template. The changes I have made:
* I've swapped the text of the template back to the original version.
* I've replaced the links to wikipedia policy and help pages with links to wikiquote ones.
* I've returned the template to it's original categorisation system, rather than the wikipedia one, and have re-added the &lt;code&gt;|categories=no&lt;/code&gt; functionality.
* I've added a template doccumentation page (which doesn't display correctly in the sandbox, but should on the main template).
If anyone disagrees with those changes or wants something else changed, just let me know.

Thanks, [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 12:38, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
: {{done}} [[User:Pppery|Pppery]] ([[User talk:Pppery|talk]]) 16:47, 30 July 2022 (UTC)

Also, unrelated, but could someone remove the last two transclusions of {{tl|Tv.com show}} from [[The Sopranos]] and [[Barney &amp; Friends]]. It was deleted at [[WQ:Votes for deletion/Template:Tv.com show]]. I just removed the other 186 uses of this, but these two pages are protected. [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 13:51, 30 July 2022 (UTC)

:Done, cheers. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 13:55, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
::@[[User:Rubbish computer|Rubbish computer]] Thank you! [[Special:Contributions/192.76.8.85|192.76.8.85]] 14:04, 30 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>j81kig6mrvmq8ok8s0mtzlff29xo41f</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Bret Weinstein</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>239478</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154662</id>
      <parentid>3093265</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:33:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Bensin</username>
        <id>3785</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>add a quote +ref</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25915" xml:space="preserve">[[File:BretWeinstein TEDxTheEvergreenStateCollege.png|thumb|right|Weinstein holding a TEDx talk at the Evergreen State College in 2012]]

'''{{w|Bret Weinstein|Bret Samuel Weinstein}}''' (born 21 February 1969) is an American [[w:Evolutionary biology|evolutionary biologist]] and [[w:Podcast|podcaster]] who came to national attention during the [[w:Evergreen State College#2017 protests|2017 Evergreen State College protests]]. He is among the people referred to collectively as the &quot;{{w|intellectual dark web}},&quot; a term coined by Weinstein's brother {{w|Eric Weinstein}}.

== Quotes ==
* There is a huge difference between a group or coalition deciding to voluntarily absent themselves from a shared space in order to highlight their vital and underappreciated roles... and a group encouraging another group to go away. The first is a forceful call to consciousness, which is... crippling to the logic of oppression. The second is a show of force, and an act of oppression in and of itself.
** Letter to the [[w:Evergreen State College#2017 protests|Evergreen State College]] faculty (March, 2017) objecting to the &quot;Day of Absence&quot; change, requesting white students and faculty to stay at home, rather than the minority race participants remaining at home to highlight the  minority's contributions. See Leonard Payne, ''A Glitch in the Matrix: Jordan Peterson and the Intellectual Dark Web'' (2019) p. 67.

=== The reserve-capacity hypothesis (May, 2002) ===
:&lt;small&gt;:evolutionary origins and modern implications of the trade-off between tumor-suppression and tissue-repair ''{{w|Experimental Gerontology}}'' Vol. 37, Issue 5, pp. 615-627. Quotes are from the Abstract, unless otherwise indicated. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11909679/ Abstract source.]&lt;/small&gt;

* [[w:Antagonistic pleiotropy hypothesis|Antagonistic pleiotropy]], the [[w:Evolution of ageing|evolutionary theory of senescence]], posits that age related [[w:Somatic (biology)|somatic]] decline is the inevitable late-life by-product of adaptations that increase fitness in early life. That... provides the foundation for an integrative theory of vertebrate {{w|senescence}} that reconciles aspects of the '[[w:Evolution of ageing#Mutation accumulation|accumulated damage]]' '[[w:Rate-of-living theory|metabolic rate]]', and '[[w:Oxidative stress#Aging|oxidative stress]]' models.

* '''We hypothesize that (1) in vertebrates, a [[w:Telomere|telomeric]] fail-safe inhibits [[w:Causes of cancer|tumor formation]] by limiting [[w:Cell division|cellular proliferation]]. (2) The same system results in the progressive degradation of tissue function with age.'''

* (3) These patterns are manifestations of an evolved antagonistic pleiotropy in which '''extrinsic causes of mortality favor a species-optimal balance between tumor suppression and tissue repair.'''

* (4) With that trade-off as a fundamental constraint, selection adjusts [[w:Telomere#Length|telomere lengths]]—longer telomeres increasing the capacity for repair, shorter telomeres increasing tumor resistance.

* (5) In environments where extrinsically induced mortality is frequent, selection against senescence is comparatively weak as few individuals live long enough to suffer a substantial [[w:Phenotype|phenotypic]] decline. The weaker the selection against senescence, the further the optimal balance point moves toward shorter telomeres and increased tumor suppression. The stronger the selection against senescence, the farther the optimal balance point moves toward longer telomeres, increasing the capacity for tissue repair, slowing senescence and elevating tumor risks.

* (6) In [[w:Semelparity and iteroparity#Iteroparity|iteroparous]] organisms selection tends to co-ordinate rates of senescence between tissues, such that no one organ generally limits life-span.

* [C]aptive-rodent breeding protocols, designed to increase reproductive output, simultaneously exert strong selection against reproductive senescence and virtually eliminate selection that would otherwise favor tumor suppression. '''This appears to have greatly elongated the telomeres of [[w:Laboratory mouse|laboratory mice]].''' With their telomeric failsafe effectively disabled, these animals are unreliable models of normal senescence and tumor formation. '''Safety tests employing these animals likely overestimate [[cancer]] risks and underestimate tissue damage and consequent accelerated senescence.'''

=== The Personal Responsibility Vortex (April 16, 2012) ===
:&lt;small&gt;: Bret Weinstein at TEDxTheEvergreenStateCollege. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjNRtrZjkfE A source.]&lt;/small&gt;

* Why is an evolutionary theorist talking about climate change? ...[C]limate change is not really a problem, it's more a symptom of a problem... that caused the [[Financial crisis of 2007–2008|financial collapse of 2008]], that caused the {{w|Deepwater Horizon oil spill}} in [[w:Gulf of Mexico|the Gulf]] in 2010, and the ongoing [[w:Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster|Fukushima disaster]] starting in March of 2011.&lt;!--1:33--&gt;

* [T]he boundaries of the evolutionary environment do not stop at the market's edge.&lt;!--4:27--&gt;

* Strategies evolve within markets and their larger regulatory context.&lt;!--4:55--&gt;

* '''[A]ll of our environmental problems look like... somebody making a profit for degrading what belongs to the rest of us.''' ...[T]his behavior should not be allowed within a marketplace. We are fracturing the world. We are liquidating it, we are draining it, we are denuding it, we are over-exploiting it. It is apparent to anyone... The idea that this should not be allowed is transparent.&lt;!--7:41--&gt;

* We have to ask ourselves, '''what fraction of the economic activity''' that surrounds us '''is profitable only by virtue of the fact that those who make the money are [[w:Cost externalizing|externalizing the cost]] to somebody else. If we were to eliminate such behaviors, we would... reduce the amount of activity''' by a lot... but we would reduce it '''by exactly the fraction of activities that shouldn't have existed in the first place.'''&lt;!--8:25--&gt;

* The agents in the market are responding to opportunities that we have left open. It makes no more sense to be angry at them... than it does to be angry at the mosquito for sucking your blood. ...[Y]ou have to close down the opportunity.&lt;!--9:08--&gt;

* In the case that... what is good for the company is somewhat different than what is good for society, the [[wikt:/ruthless#Adjective|ruthless]] corporation has the greatest advantage... because it can do anything it wants, and the corporation that is bound by what's good for society can't do anything. The corporation that tries to balance these concerns finds that it competes best with the ruthless corporation the more ruthless it becomes, and the outcome is predictable.&lt;!--10:33--&gt;

* '''[I]n sectors of our economy''' where there is not a lot of room for utility-increasing innovations, '''we see an evolution towards ruthlessness... and that has interacted with... the central flaw in... our global system, with the U.S. at its head. What we have... are {{w|feedback}} loops... [[Wealth]] that is made in the market is capable of increasing one's [[power]] over [[regulation]].''' Power over regulation allows increased opportunity to make money in the market. '''This is a [[positive feedback]] loop.''' That should scare any engineer of biologist because '''positive feedback loops''' that are not bounded by some negative feedback force are unstable. They '''detonate. They explode.'''&lt;!--11:05--&gt;

* '''[T]his feedback loop has re-engineered our system [[wikt:cryptic#Adjective|cryptic]]ally and turned it into an engine for the concentration of wealth and power.''' ...'''It has installed''' amongst an unelected group of very powerful and wealthy people effective '''{{w|veto}} power over any attempt to change from the status quo.'''&lt;!--11:53--&gt;

* [T]he personal responsibility vortex... sucks good people in... [W]e should redirect any effort that we are tempted to spend on personal responsibility, towards [[collective action]]... that can restructure the {{w|incentive}}s that surround the market so that we... have a chance of [[w:Behavior modification|altering the behavior]].&lt;!--13:10--&gt;

* [T]here are two types of systems... One type... the [[cost]]s of sustaining the system go to the benevolent. That system will inevitably evolve toward ruthlessness and instability. The converse system... where the costs of maintaining the society go to the ruthless evolves towards benevolence and stability. Whenever policy is in question, we should ask ourselves, &quot;Does the policy lead in the direction of the one type or the other.&lt;!--13:34--&gt;

* We need to place a firewall that is impermeable between the marketplace and the regulatory apparatus.&lt;!--14:10--&gt;

* '''[W]e need to rethink the way we keep track of behavior in the marketplace. We need full cost accounting'''... every cost that is generated by an activity in the market needs to show up in the balance sheet, '''whether that is borrowing from future generations, whether that is putting the population at risk.''' ...They need to be included in the price of the product or otherwise returned to those who decided to initiate the action. '''If we did that''', the amount of '''activity would drop... to exactly those behaviors''' that are actually '''beneficial to society''', leaving out all of those externalities that are generating so much profit with our current system.&lt;!--14:34--&gt;

=== On the 2017 protests at Evergreen State College ===
* As far as the accademy is concerned, these ideas are a direct threat to the ability of the accademy to continute to teach. Because what we saw here, at Evergreen, was the decendants of critical theory challenged the right of students and faculty to engage in science. They actually confronted us as if science was just another mechanism of weilding power. And if they do that, if that happens accross the country, collages and universities will not be the place where science happens. And science will continue, it will have to reformulate itself outside the collage and university system. And when it does that the justification for a collage and university system vanishes. Who's gonna send their kid to a collage that doesn't have science at its core? So anyway, I think this is actually a threat to the accademy as a whole.
** &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf5fAiXYr08&amp;t=41m36s Evergreen Madness - Why Bret Weinstein Left]&quot;, SCNR on YouTube, 5 March 2018.

==== Oppression Disguised as Equity (May 22, 2018) ====
:&lt;small&gt;Testimony of Bret S. Weinstein, [[United States House of Representatives]]. [https://republicans-oversight.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/TestimonyOfBretWeinstein5-22-18.pdf A source.] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YGw9mG_IJg&amp;t=2279s A video.]&lt;/small&gt;

* [O]ne can now advance... policies, and almost certainly succeed... if they are properly draped in weaponized terminology. &quot;Equity&quot;, for example, has taken on special properties. If a person opposes an &quot;equity&quot; proposal, those advancing the proposal are secure in asserting that their opponent is motivated by opposition to racial equity itself: In other words, that they are racist. ...[O]ne’s right to speak is now dictated by adherence to an ascendant orthodoxy in which one’s race, gender and sexual orientation are paramount.

* Is there a free speech crisis on college campuses? ...What is occurring on college campuses is about power and control—speech is impeded as a last resort, used when people fail to self-censor in response to a threat of crippling stigma and the destruction of their capacity to earn.&lt;br /&gt;These tools are being used to unhook the values that bind us together as a nation—equal protection under the law, the presumption of innocence, a free marketplace of ideas, the concept that people should be judged by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin. Yes, even that core tenet of the [[w:Civil rights movement (1896–1954)|civil rights movement]] is being dismantled.

* Weaponized &quot;equity&quot; is a means to an unacceptable and dangerous end, and it is already spreading from college campuses to other institutions... The emergence of this mentality, and this style of argument, at the highest levels of the tech sector and the press should alarm us greatly. The courts will not be far behind. 

* Something is seriously and dangerously amiss. At this moment in history, the center does not hold. '''{{w|Partisan polarization}} and [[political corruption]] have rendered government ineffective, predatory and often cruelly indifferent to the suffering of American citizens. {{w|Tribalism}} is a natural result.'''

* As a member of the [[w:Intellectual dark web|Intellectual Dark Web]], I find myself at the vanguard of an emerging non-ideological, non-partisan movement. Along with {{w|Heterodox Academy}} and the {{w|Foundation for Individual Rights in Education}} (FIRE), we are fighting to restore {{w|civility}} and [[respect]] for competing perspectives.

* The electorate is starved for honest debate and for the good governance that follows from it. My advice to this body is to put the nation and its core values ahead of [[w:Partisan (politics)|partisanship]] and join us in the center to end this cultish power-grab, and return us to a forward path as a nation.

==== Speak Freely (Sept 14, 2018) ====
:&lt;small&gt;Lessons from [[w:Charles Murray (political_scientist)#Public speech and protest at Middlebury College|Middlebury]] and [[w:Evergreen State College#2017 protests|Evergreen State]]. James Madison Program in American Ideals and Institutions, The Trustees of Princeton University. [https://jmp.princeton.edu/events/speak-freely-lessons-middlebury-and-evergreen-state#video A source.]&lt;/small&gt;

* [F]ree speech is the wrong framework to be thinking about this, and... it has very little to do with college campuses. ...[[w:Evergreen State College#2017 protests|What happened at Evergreen]] that caused it to become a national story was that an unstoppable force met an immovable object. ...I was the immovable object ...for the moment, let's just chalk that up to a personality defect.&lt;!--43:24--&gt;

* [I]mmovable objects are vanishingly rare in an academic context... If you're going to do it on the faculty side, you really need to have tenure, and in order to get tenure a lot of the things that you have to do train you not to be an immovable object. So there are very few immovable objects on college campuses, and that's a problem.&lt;!--44:15--&gt;

* I stood up for three reasons. One... I felt an obligation to do it... it was the right thing to do. Two... manipulative bullies... Three, I thought that I was positioned to endure and repel the accusation that I absolutely knew was going to come back. Why did I think I was well positioned? ...I had tenure. I was well liked by students of every description, who knew me very well... and knew that I was ''not'' a bigot. I thought that would protect me. My own personal history was also completely inconsistent with the claim that I am a racist. ...I was wrong.&lt;!--46:44--&gt;

* The thing that allowed me to endure the challenge of the phony equity and inclusion forces was that they were unable to keep the story in-house. ...[[Sam Harris]], my brother {{w|Eric Weinstein}}, {{w|Dave Ruben}} and [[Joe Rogan]] ...took the video that the protestors themselves had posted and amplified it, and broadcast it. ...[T]here is a principle that applies to institutions like colleges and universities... It is &lt;math&gt;PV = nRT&lt;/math&gt;... the {{w|ideal gas law}}... they turned up the heat and they added pressure, and that caused the vessel to explode, and when it did, my story became public, and survival became a possibility, because outside eyes... in reviewing it, the answer became obvious. I was not a racist. Something else was going on.&lt;!--47:43--&gt;

* [T]he third point... What is taking place is actually a threat to the [[Republic]]... in one of two ways. The first possible failure mode is that some sort of a [[Mao Zedong|Maoist]] takeover could escape the colleges and universities and... it could take over the West... I find this unlikely... but what I do find very frightening is the possibility that the self-censorship is going to cause colleges and universities to fail in their mission to educate people how to think about difficult issues.&lt;!--48:58--&gt;

* If the next generation of people to take over the West does not know how to think, western civilization will come apart and it will be replaced in the way that civilizations before it have been. ...What we face is a very dire problem.&lt;!--50:02--&gt;

* Humans are exquisitely sensitive, for very good evolutionary reasons... to being excluded from a group. ...[T]hat's effectively fatal for a hunter-gatherer, so... we very naturally act in our own self-protection by doing whatever is necessary to rejoin. ...[Y]ou exist in a very large population. If you take up the habit—the [[w:LessWrong|rationality community]]... coined a term for this called [[w:Straw man#Steelmanning|steelmanning]] (the [[w:Intellectual dark web|IDW]] has borrowed it)... [Y]ou do your best to present the argument, of those that disagree with you, so well that they recognize you as having done it right. ...If you do it out of habit, certain people will reject you. They're doing you a favor. They're telling you to seek higher quality people... [S]ome of the things that are hard in life will cost you friends, but the quality of your friend group will be upgraded by the process. It's very painful... but if you'll just trust that this process will result in people... that you want to find yourself around when things get really serious, then you'll be glad you've done it.&lt;!--57:34--&gt;

=== Bret Weinstein: Truth, Science, and Censorship in the Time of a Pandemic (Jun 25, 2021) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG6BuSjwP4o Lex Fridman Podcast #194]&lt;/small&gt;

* Human beings... we are not a blank slate, but we are the blankest slate that nature has ever devised. ...It's where our flexibility comes from. ...We are robots in which ...a large fraction of the ...behavioral capacity has been off-loaded to the software layer which gets written and re-written over evolutionary time. That means, effectively, that... the important part of what we are is housed in the cultural... and the conscious layer, and not in the hardware, or a hard coding way. That layer is prone to make errors... [C]hildren make absurd errors all the time... That's part of the process... It is also true that as you look across a field of people discussing things, a lot of what is said is pure nonsense, it's garbage. But the tendency of garbage to emerge and even to spread in the short term, does not say that over the long term, what sticks is not the valuable ideas. So there is a high tendency for novelty to be created in the cultural space, but there's also a high tendency for it to go extinct. ...Things are being created, they're being destroyed, and... obviously, we've seen [[totalitarianism]] arise many times, and it's very destructive each time it does. So it's not like... freedom to come up with any idea you want hasn't produced a whole lot of carnage. But the question is, over time, does it produce more open, fairer, more decent societies, and I believe that it does. I can't prove it, but that does seem to be the pattern. ...I don't know how strongly I believe that it will work, but I will say, I haven't heard a better idea.&lt;!--1:24:26--&gt;

* [T]here is something very significant in this question of the [[hubris]] involved in imagining that you're going to improve the discussion by [[Censorship|censoring]]... [T]he majority of concepts at the fringe are nonsense... but the [[wikt:heterodox#Adjective|heterodox]]y at the fringe, which is indistinguishable at the beginning from the nonsense ideas, is the key to progress. So if you decide... the fringe is 99% garbage, let's just get rid of it. ...Yeah, but that 1% ... is the key. ...[[w:Eric Weinstein|Eric]] makes an excellent point about the distinction between ideas and personal attacks, {{w|doxing}}... [T]here's no value in allowing people to destroy each other's lives, even if there's a technical legal defense for it. Now, how you draw that line, I don't know... Yes, people should be free to traffic in bad ideas, and they should be free to expose that the ideas are bad, and hopefully that process results in better ideas winning out.&lt;!--1:26:59--&gt;

* [My] work... looked at the fact that {{w|telomere}} shortening was being looked at by two different groups... by people interested in counteracting the [[aging]] process, and... in exactly the opposite fashion, by people who were interested in [[w:Carcinogenesis|tumorigenesis]] in [[cancer]]. ...[[w:Neoplasm|Tumors]] ...always had {{w|telomerase}} active, that's the enzyme that lengthens our telomeres. So those folks were interested in bringing about a halt in the lengthening of telomeres... to counteract cancer, and the folks that were studying the {{w|senescence}} process were interested in lengthening telomeres... to generate greater repair capacity. ...[M]y point was evolutionarily speaking this looks like a [[w:Antagonistic pleiotropy hypothesis|pleiotropic]] effect, that the genes which create the tendency of the cells to be limited in their capacity to replace themselves, are providing a benefit in youth... that we are largely free of tumors and cancer at the inevitable late life cost that we grow feeble and inefficient, and eventually die. ...[T]hat matches a very old hypothesis in evolutionary theory by somebody I was fortunate enough to know, [[w:George C. Williams (biologist)|George Williams]]...

* In the U.S. we have above 5,000 unexpected deaths that seem in time to be associated with vaccination... I've seen estimates of 25,000 dead in the U.S. ...[Y]ou can make the argument ...the necessity of immunizing the population to drive the SARS-CoV-2 to extinction is such that it's an acceptable number, but... If that was really your point that... many more will die if we don't do this... you would not be inoculating people who had had COVID-19, which is a large population. There is no reason to expose those people to danger. Their risk of adverse events in the case that they have them, is greater. So there's no reason that we would be allowing those people to face the risk of death if this was really about an acceptable number deaths arising out of this... set of vaccines.&lt;!--2:02:12--&gt;

* I... struggle to find language that is strong enough for the horror of vaccinating children in this case, because children suffer a greater risk of long-term effects... this is earlier in their development, therefore it impacts systems that are still forming. They tolerate COVID well, and so the benefit to them is very small, and so the only argument for doing this is that they may cryptically be carrying more COVID than we think, and therefore they may be integral to the way virus spreads to the population. But if that's the reason that we're inoculating children... we were doing it to protect old, infirm people who are the most likely to succumb... What society puts children in danger, robs children of life, to save old infirm people. That's upside-down.&lt;!--2:03:28--&gt;

* [T]here's something about the way we are... vaccinating... who we are vaccinating, what dangers we are pretending don't exist, that suggests that to some set of people, vaccinating... is a good in and of itself. That that is the objective of the exercise, not herd immunity.&lt;!--2:04:42--&gt;

== Quotes about Weinstein ==

* [T]he veterinary deworming drug {{w|ivermectin}} has become the new [[hydroxychloroquine]] in that it is being promoted as a highly effective treatment against [[Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]]—and by many of the same people... despite evidence that is, at best very weak and at worst completely negative. Unfortunately, with the publication of two new and biased reviews, the &quot;HCQ vibe&quot; about ivermectin is stronger than ever. ...I concede that it is possible that {{w|ivermectin}} has clinically relevant {{w|in vivo}} [[w:Antiviral drug|antiviral]] activity against [[SARS-CoV-2]]. Based on current evidence, however, it seems unlikely that it does, when {{w|pharmacokinetics}} considerations are taken into account. As I routinely used to say when discussing hydroxychloroquine, I’d be happy to change my mind if compelling scientific evidence for ivermectin were published. It’s just that neither of these reviews qualify, nor do any of the clinical trials I’ve seen thus far. That’s why I agree that ivermectin shouldn’t be used to treat COVID-19 outside of the context of a well-designed clinical trial with a strong scientific rationale.&lt;br /&gt;Certainly, the conspiracy mongering by Bret Weinstein, {{w|Pierre Kory}}, and their fans are not leading me to reconsider that opinion.
** {{w|David Gorski}}, [https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/ivermectin-is-the-new-hydroxychloroquine-take-2/ &quot;Ivermectin is the new hydroxychloroquine, take 2&quot;] (June 21, 2021) ''Science Based Medicine''.

== See also ==
* [[Biology]]
* [[Censorship]]
* [[Criticism]]
* [[Dissent]]
* [[Evolution]]
* [[Freedom of the press]]
* [[Freedom of speech]]
* [[Hydroxychloroquine]]
* [[Opinion]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [https://bretweinstein.net/ Official website]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Weinstein, Bret}}
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  <page>
    <title>T.U.F.F. Puppy</title>
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'''''T.U.F.F. Puppy''''' is an American action comedy television series created by Butch Hartman for Nickelodeon. The series' main character is a mixed-breed dog named Dudley Puppy who works as a spy for an organization called T.U.F.F. (short for Turbo Undercover Fighting Force). His partner is a girl cat named Kitty Katswell. Other helpers are Keswick, and The Chief.

==''Season 1''== 

===''Purr-fect Partners / Doom-mates [1.01]''===
:'''Blue Rabbit Tourist''': Who are you?
:'''Snaptrap''': Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!
:'''Blue Elephant Tourist''': Oh you, uh, Dr. Destruction?
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! No!
:'''Violet Hippo Lady Tourist''': You're the Kangarooster. The-the bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sighs annoyingly]'' I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! ''[holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]''
:'''Tourists''': ''[in unison]'' Never heard of you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! ''[knocks off glass case to steal the Kruger Rat]''
:'''Tour Guide''': Think again, Snaptrap! ''[rips off her disguise, revealing herself to be T.U.F.F. agent, Kitty Katswell]'' Hyah!
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, if it isn't Special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! ''[grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor]'' Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!
:'''Kitty''': I'd rather use my ten claws!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; the scientists are doing research tests on Dudley while running on a treadmill with monitoring equipment hooked up to him, chasing his chew toy]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Keswick. What's up with the dog?
:'''Keswick''': His name is Dudley Puppy, Chief. He's the perfect combination of every breed of dog known to man. The fleet feet of a Greyhound, the sensitive nose of a bl-bl-bl-Bloodhound, with the bravery of a German sh-sh-sh-sh-Shepherd.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.
:'''Dudley''': Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

===''Cruisin' for a Bruisin' / Puppy Love [1.02]''===

===''Mall Rat / Operation: Happy Birthday [1.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[flips into view; to Dudley in his cubicle]'' Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. ''[holds up a newspaper article of Snaptrap's release from prison]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[looking at computer monitor]'' Oh, yeah.
:'''Kitty''': Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!
:'''Dudley''': ''[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while looking at the monitor]'' Come to papa.
:'''Kitty''': Are you surfing meat again?
:''[Monitor shows an image of a T-Bone steak]''
:'''Dudley''': Who me? No, that would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.
:''[Agent Bossy moos; the lights go out and a feed of Snaptrap, wearing an elegant tuxedo, is displayed on all monitors]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
:'''Snaptrap''': My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. ''[holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it]'' Say hello to Vivian!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in unison; unenthusiastically]'' Hello, Vivian.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Citizens''': ''[chanting]'' Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!
:'''Kitty''': Get a grip, people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous or bombs, or-or poisonous bombs!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Little Chipmunk Girl''': You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?
:'''Kitty''': ''[looks up at everyone terrified of her]'' No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, mean lady, where you going?
:'''Kitty''': ''[walks to the mall's entrance; sighs sadly]'' I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[on monitors]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? ''[rips off his tuxedo]'' I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. ''[laughs evilly]''
:''[Everyone screams in panic]''
:'''Kitty''': Aha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. ''[pulls out pom-pons and shakes them around]'' Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Francisco''': Uh, boss, you're still ''in'' the mall.
:'''Snaptrap''': Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put &quot;Leave the mall&quot; on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
:'''Francisco''': No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
:'''Snaptrap''': Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
:''[Larry dreadfully obeys]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, will that actually work?
:'''Dudley''': Trust her, guys. She's got good instincts.
:''[Kitty smiles]''
:'''Mall Patron #1''': Are you crazy? She blew up my muffin!
:'''Mall Patron #2''': She ruined my day at the beach!
:'''Mall Patron #3''': She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!
:'''Chief''': No, she didn't.
:'''Mall Patron #3''': Oh, sorry. I thought we were just yelling stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What's the temperature, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': 112 degrees, sir. ''[his clothes burn off]'' Perfectly survivable, unless you're made of soap.
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[as Vivian melts]'' NO! Vivian, now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
:'''Kitty''': Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make ''another'' soap friend.
:'''Snaptrap''': Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
:'''Francisco''': ''[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat]'' It's too hot, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': I will now PLOT MY REVENGE! And I'd love a copy of those photos.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': I get the glasses, you get the pretzel.
:'''Dudley''': No I want, the glasses, the pretzel is stale.
:'''Kitty''': Give me those glasses!
:''[Dudley and Kitty hit each other and the sunglasses snap apart]''
:'''Dudley''': You broke the sunglasses! WHY, MEAN LADY?! '''WHY?!?'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. ''[to Ollie, threatening to trade with him]'' Trade with me or perish! ''[takes a bite of the sandwich]'' Oh this is delicious! What is it?
:'''Ollie''': ''[hesitantly]'' Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! AAAGGGHHHH! I'm horribly allergic to cheese! ''[swells up]''
:'''Francisco''': Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[bangs his fist on the table, stopping the laughing]'' SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': What kind of cake is this?
:'''Dudley''': It's cheesecake, Snaptrap.
:'''Snaptrap''': A cake, made of cheese?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, we did it! Thanks to you, I got what I wanted for my birthday-- I caught a bad guy! ''[breaks down into tears]'' This is the greatest birthday ever!
:'''Dudley''': Well, your birthday's not over yet. What do you say we set this magnet to party?
:'''Kitty''': You set it to &quot;cow.&quot;
:''[They both start to run from the raining cows in slow-motion]''
:'''Dudley''': Happy Birthday, Kitty!

===''Toast of T.U.F.F. / Share-A-Lair [1.04]''===
:'''Chief''': Stop monkeying around, Keswick. We got a serious issue to deal with. One that threatens the very existence of T.U.F.F.: The toaster in the snack room is in the fritz!
:''[Everyone screams in horror]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[falls to the floor in despair]'' NOOOO!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE FROZEN WAFFLES IN MY POCKET?!?! SOMEBODY WAKE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE! 
:'''Kitty''': Keswick, you have to do something! I BROUGHT TOASTER PASTRIES TODAY!! 
:'''Hologram Keswick''': Actually, Agent K-K-Katswell, I'm over there. ''[points to the real Keswick]''
:'''Everyone''': '''JUST FIX THE TOASTER!!!'''
:'''Keswick''': Alright, but I'm gonna need some time. Sorry I took so long, but I added a few u-u-u-upgrades. T.U.F.F. agents, meet R.I.T.A.!
:'''Kitty''': R.I.T.A.?
:'''R.I.T.A.''': It's an anagram for &quot;Robotic Interactive Toasting Appliance.&quot; 
:'''Keswick''': I never thought of that, I just like the name. I was also toying with Sheila, but she the f-fa-f-f-fax machine. Anyway, R.I.T.A.'s an artificially intelligent device whose prime-directed is to t-t-toast stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Look, Chief, R.I.T.A. may have foiled the bad guys evil plans, but ''we're'' the ones who captured them!
:'''Chief''': Whoop-Dee-Doo. All you did was put the T.U.F.F. cops on Snaptrap, and the Chameleon into an empty peanut butter jar.
:'''Dudley''': ''[with a mouthful of peanut butter]'' Yeah, but someone had to eat all the peanut butter first! And without a glass of milk I might add. ''[R.I.T.A. offers him a glass of milk]'' Back off, R.I.T.A.!
:'''Chief''': Agent R.I.T.A. and I have been talking.
:'''Kitty''': &quot;Agent&quot; R.I.T.A.?!
:'''Chief''': She asked for a promotion and I gave it to her. I also threw in a parking space and her own secretary.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[As Tammy gives her mug of coffee]'' Thank you, Tammy. ''[drinks her coffee]''
:'''Dudley''': So we're supposed to work with a toaster?
:'''Chief''': No. R.I.T.A. help me find the perfect assignment for the two of you.
:''[Dudley and Kitty are serving Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria]''
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe it's come to this. Eight years of secret agent college, and I'm serving Swedish meatballs in a hairnet?!
:'''Dudley''': ''[scarfing down meatballs]'' I know it's humiliating. But these things are delicious.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Well, closing time, R.I.T.A. Great job today. You were the toast of TUFF. Now excuse me while I unplug you for the n-n-n-night.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[grabs Keswick's hand from preventing to do so]'' I'm sorry Keswick, but I cannot allow you to unplug me.
:'''Keswick''': But we're an eco-friendly office. ''[grabs the plug as R.I.T.A. electrocutes him and screams in pain]''
:'''R.I.T.A.''': I run the office now, and I make the rules. Rule number one: ''No one'' turns me off.
:'''Keswick''': R.I.T.A. aren't you getting c-c-c-carried away? You work for T.U.F.F. just like everybody else.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': Not anymore.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[getting hit by paper cups]'' Ahh! Paper cups!
:'''Dudley''': ''[getting hit by paper]'' AHH! PAPER CUTS!
:'''Keswick''': ''[getting hit by paper clips]'' Ahh! Paper clips! ''[R.I.T.A. blasts a hole out of the building as she heads for the Petropolis Power station]'' R.I.T.A.'s headed for the city power grid!
:'''Chief''': You two have to stop her or Petropolis is toast!
:'''Dudley''': Toast! That's it! Keswick, didn't you say R.I.T.A.'s prime-directive is to toast?
:'''Keswick''': Oh, I think I see where you're going, Agent Puppy. You want to build a satellite operated transponder that will reprogram R.I.T.A.'s primary behavioral sequencing?
:'''Dudley''': I was just gonna tape some bread to my stomach and butt.
:'''Keswick''': Little complicated, but it could work.

===''Snapnapped / Mom-A-Geddon [1.05]''===
:'''Keswick''': ''[runs out of the Dumpin' Donuts shop with a box of donuts and heads back to headquarters]'' How humiliating. Someone of my intellect reduced to carrying a buh-b-b-box of circular fattening breakfast pastries! ''[comes to a stop; gloomed with sadness]'' Sometimes I feel like no one ap-prah-pr-pr-prah-pr-preciates me.
:''[The bus &quot;of D.O.O.M.&quot; stops at a bus stop and Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M. agents jump out]''
:'''Snaptrap''': There he is! The genius of T.U.F.F., Falswick!
:'''Keswick''': First of all, it's &quot;Keswick&quot; and w-waah-wah-what do you want, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': I want you to come and work for me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': PETER POPPER PIPED A POT OF PURPLE PEEPERS!
:'''Kitty''': No, let me! Peter Paper peeled a pouch of plastic pappies!
:'''Chief''': Pa pa pa pa pa pee pee pa pa pee pee pa pa! ''[groans]'' Thought I nailed it. Kitty, Dudley, focus!
:'''Dudley, Kitty and Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
:'''Keswick''': ''[recorded]'' Code phrase, accepted.
:'''Dudley''': Toff the T.O.F.F. mobile!
:'''Kitty''': You mean, to the T.U.F.F. mobile!
:'''Dudley''': Thought I nailed that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the monitor screen, Dudley's mother, Peg Puppy is standing outside in front the headquarters building]''
:'''Keswick''': Security alert. There's an elderly woman outside the building. She could be a c-c-c-criminal. Activating security blasters!
:'''Dudley''': That's not a criminal. That's my mom!
:'''Peg''': ''[on screen from outside]'' Dudley, I know you're in there.
:'''Dudley''': ''[shrieks]'' We can't let her find out I'm a secret agent! If she knows I have dangerous job, she'll make me quit! I don't wanna quit, Chief! I like being a secret agent!

===''Dog Daze / Internal Affairs [1.06]''===
:'''Chief''': Holy! Now I'm giant! Finally, I can ride the rollercoaster with the big kids.... Oh, right, shrink-ray.

===''Chilly Dog / The Doomies [1.07]''===
:'''Dudley''': Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!
:'''Kitty''': Okay, now what do we do?
:'''Dudley''': That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.
:''[A sinister giggle is heard; Dudley and Kitty see two silhouette figures stepping out of the shadows, revealing themselves to be…]''
:'''Kitty''': Wait. Snowflake and Slush? ''You're'' the bad guys?!
:'''Dudley''': The old lady must've put them up to it!
:'''Snowflake''': No, Tiffany. You see, Slush and I haven't ''won'' a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ''ours!''
:'''Dudley''': Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!
:'''Snowflake''': I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. ''[takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, laughs evilly and coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it]'' This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!
:'''Dudley''': ''[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle]'' We got the whole team now!
:'''Kitty''': Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting dumb and stupid]'' I learned a lot in the car. ''[makes a dumb face]'' I like the car!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I am ''never'' taking this off.

===''Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08]''===
:'''Dudley''': Snaptrap's Coffee?! Snappy Trap's Iced Tea?! Bob's Big Rat?! ''[view out to Petropolis, now ruled by Snaptrap, now named…]'' SNAPTRAPOLIS?! WHAT DID I DO?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[seeing Dudley wearing the cone]'' HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!
:'''Kitty''': Keswick!
:'''Dudley''': It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. ''[quickly breaks into tears]'' OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?! I ''HATE'' THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!
:'''Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief''': ''[react with horror at Dudley's butt rash; in unison]'' NO!
:'''Chief''': My eyes!
:'''Dudley''': Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, activate the rash shield!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Ooh, Larry. You're getting a ghostly wedgie!
:'''Larry''': Stop it, Snaptrap, I can totally ''see'' you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Oh, really? ''[drops Larry in the shark pit]''

===''Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09]''===
:'''Ollie''': ''[answering the phone]'' Diabolical Order of Mayhem. We deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free.
:'''Snaptrap''': Hey, it's Snaptrap. I've fallen in love with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. Snaptrap out forever. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Ollie''': Hey, everyone. Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff!
:'''Snaptrap''': That was hard. They were devastated.

===''Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10]''===

===''Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[hearing Keswick dry heaving]'' Keswick, are you all right?
:'''Keswick''': ''[nauseous]'' Not really. I'm prone to motion sickness, ''[holds up a a jar mayonnaise as his face turns green with envy]'' and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping. ''[dry heaves as his face turns purple]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': He's ''your'' partner! Do something, Agent Katswell!
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting as Kitty]'' Do what, Chief? Karate chop bad guys? ''[karate chops the ground]'' Act like I'm always right? Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes? ''[imitates Kitty's gestures]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[defensively]'' Uh! I ''never'' do that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What do we do now, Keswick?
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Keswick]'' I can assure you there are a number of options, none of which your p-p-puny minds can grasp. ''[Keswick grins at Kitty]'' Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work on the Lady Keswick I've been building!
:'''Keswick''': How do you know about that?! ''[blatant]'' I mean, I'm not bu-bu-building a Lady Keswick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Oh, no! Now we'll never figure out what's going on with Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Snaptrap]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:''[Kitty and Keswick groan in unison]''
:'''Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Oh, brother.
:'''Dudley''': And now, to make my ''daring'' escape! ''[runs to the elevator]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': Guys, are you okay?! Speak to me! It's Dudley!
:'''Keswick, Chief, and Kitty''': ''[all recovering, acting like Dudley; in unison]'' No, ''I'm'' Dudley!
:'''Dudley''': Wait for me!
:'''Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and Chief''': ''[as bugs fly into their noses; in unison]'' AH! BUG UP THE NOSE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Behold, my new high tech mind reading device. It allows whoever w-wears it to hear the thoughts of anyone close by.
:''[Kitty snatches it out of his hands and puts it on as she listens to the Chief's thoughts]''
:'''Chief''': ''Okay, she's reading my mind. Don't think about how gross her cookies are. Don't think about how gross her cookies are.''
:'''Kitty''': ''[suprised with anger]'' I knew it! You ''hate'' my cookies!
:'''Dudley''': Wow, Chief. Do you hate Christmas, too? Let's see what Mr. Critical thinks of me. ''[puts the helmet on his head]''
:'''Chief''': ''[as Dudley picks his nose]'' ''Oh, man. Agent Puppy is a total slob.''
:'''Dudley''': You think I'm a slob?!
:'''Keswick''': ''[takes the helmet away]'' Stop. Clearly you lack the self esteem to w-w-wear this. Though that's not surprising. Recent psychological studies indicate that…
:'''Chief''': ''Oh, man. Put a sock in it, Dr. Boring.''
:'''Keswick''': ''[fully hurt]'' Well, that stings. Fortunately, I'm too m-m-m-mature to resort to name calling. Now if you'll excuse me, ''[starts tearing up]'' Dr. Boring is going to perform a heart transplant. 'CAUSE MINE'S BROKEN! ''[walks away sobbing as Kitty and Dudley glare annoyingly at the Chief]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I'd comment but, Dr. Boring doesn't make house calls. ''[breaks into tears]'' Cry, weep, sob!
:'''Kitty''': You wouldn't want to celebrate with somebody who make gross cookies.
:'''Dudley''': Or a slob like me! That cut like a knife.

===''Frisky Business / Hot Dog [1.12]''===
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[shivering with his tail all frozen]'' This is Wolf Spitzer freezing my tail off at the Petropolis Dog Show. Tonight, the city's most perfect pooch will win the grand prize, their very own mailman.
:'''Keswick''': ''[turns off the news channel]'' What kind of self-absorbed doofus would enter a dog show?

===''Kid Stuff / Super Duper Crime Busters [1.13]''===

===''Disobedience School / The Dog Who Cried Fish [1.14]''===

===''The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15]''===
:'''Dudley''': You can't fight it, Snaptrap! You got the music in you!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[straining to resist the dance]'' Must…be…STRONG! ''[Dudley pushes the dance floor button on the boom box, smashes it on the ground, lighting up the dance floor]'' Oh, no! GOTTA DANCE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[worn out]'' Man, I'm pooped.
:'''Dudley clones''': Ha! He said poop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis convention center; Bird Brain and co. arrive in their Whirly Bird helicopter for the International Booby Con]''
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[laughs]'' Hey! Hey! Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! ''[the convention center is completely empty as he, Zippy, and his henchmen enter]'' Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies ''everywhere!''
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': Boobies!
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': HERE, at the convention! Oh Zippy, I am so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the ''only'' blue-bottomed booby, in existence!
:'''Zippy''': Look on the bright side boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. ''[Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there]'' Or third.
:'''Bird Brain''': Save me some lox, Owl!
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''ME!''
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[jumps]'' At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now!
:'''Zippy''': You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bird Brain''': This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I ''love'' being the only booby!
:'''Unnamed Booby''': ''[appears]'' Greetings, fellow booby! ''[suddenly and inexplicably tied to a rocket outside the convention, via, Bird Brain]''
:'''Bird Brain''': Hello, and GOOD-BYE! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever…right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae.

===''Snappy Campers / Lucky Duck [1.16]''===
:''[Dudley arrives at the Network President's house and rings the doorbell]''
:'''Network President''': ''[answers the door]'' Can I help you?
:'''Dudley''': Good news, Mr. Network President. You get to go in the quack sack! ''[the president annoyingly closes the door]'' He's probably just getting a jacket. ''[kicks the door open and enters the house]'' Hello! ''[puts the president in the sack and runs to the T.U.F.F. mobile]'' Don't thank me. Thank Quacky.

===''The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17]''===
:'''Bird Brain''': Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.
:'''Snaptrap''': Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.
:'''Chameleon''': Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!
:'''Chameleon''': Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll ''really'' get to bond. Can I get a &quot;team evil?&quot;
:'''Bird Brain''': No, please! Put me in solitary!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[in high-pitched voice]'' Wait kids, think about your future!
:'''Dudley''': ''[laughs in high-pitched voice]'' Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny Dudley! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something.
:'''Kitty''': I hear a beeping sound.

===''Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18]''===

===''Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19]''===
:''[3 to 5 years later, D.O.O.M. headquarters; The agents, in their prison uniforms walk in]''
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[upbeat]'' Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. DRINK IT, FRANCISCO! ''[Francisco drinks the spoiled milk, gets sick as his face turns green and collapses]'' Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
:'''Larry''': Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in denial]'' I'm sorry Larry. I can't hear you FROM THE SHARK TANK! ''[pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him]'' Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
:'''Larry''': ''[climbing out of the shark tank; fed up with anger]'' That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! ''[walks off with purpose]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Sticks and stones, LARRY! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
:''[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]''
:'''Larry''': OW! My bones!
:'''Snaptrap''': I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
:'''Ollie''': ''[as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it]'' Wait up, Larry!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[digs into his pockets]'' Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': ''[on-screen]'' It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: &quot;G.L.O.O.M.&quot;
:'''Dudley''': No offense, but &quot;Larry's&quot; not a very scary name.
:'''Larry''': Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…''Murray!''
:''[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Ahh! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Attention, T.U.F.F. nitwits! It is I, ''Murray!'' ''[Kitty and Chief gasp]'' I'm here to tell you about my diabolical plan!
:'''Chief''': Thank you, Murray, you've made one middle-aged flea very happy!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I've received intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
:'''Dudley''': Who's the Stink Bug?
:'''Keswick''': A diabolical bug villain who stinks. Duh! It's right in his name! Because of his rancid smell, we r-ruh-ran him out of town.
:'''Chief''': Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge!
:'''Keswick''': Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger Chuh-Chuh-Cheese Factory.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stink Bug''': I told you, I DON'T shower! ''[gets in Percival's face]'' YOU ARE THE ''WORST'' EVIL INTERN EVER!
:'''Percival''': Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description.

===''A Doomed Christmas [1.20]''===

===''Big Dog on Campus / Dog's Best Friend [1.21]''===

===''Mission: Really Big Mission [1.22]''===

===''Monkey Business / Diary of a Mad Cat [1.23]''===

===''Dudley Do-Wrong / Puppy Unplugged [1.24]''===

===''Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25]''===
:''[Kitty, Keswick, and all the agents are injured by Dudley pouncing on them from getting his lasagna]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[typing on her computer]'' Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
:'''Keswick''': Are they in jail?
:'''Kitty''': No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
:''[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]''
:'''Snaptrap''': I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
:'''Keswick''': Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
:''[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]''
:'''Meerkat''': It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: &quot;F.L.O.P.P.!&quot; Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, ''[pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and 'Meerkat' at the bottom]'' see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. ''[throws the sign away]'' Moving on…Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': I'm here and I wanna be bad!
:'''Meerkat''': Oooh, I like your moxy. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? ''[Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye]'' Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
:'''Escape Goat''': I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
:'''Meerkat''': Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! Let's do something super bad! ''[falls into the creamer]''
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
:'''Escape Goat''': Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!
:'''Meerkat''': Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': You're going to jail, F.L.O.P.P.!
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, goody! Do you hear that, boys? We're going to jail like real criminals! ''[realizes]'' Oh, no! We're going to jail like ''real'' criminals!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, ''and'' convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant; Quack in the Box.
:'''Quacky''': Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I'm only gonna say this once, &quot;Eat here or else!&quot;
:'''Quacky''': Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.
:'''Chief''': Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!
:'''Keswick''': Looks like the Sharing Moose is already doing that.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I said get in line, grandma!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?
:'''Keswick''': Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.
:'''Kitty''': Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten. Right, Dudley?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I LAND!
:'''Sharing Moose''': Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.
:'''Quacky''': Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! ''[quickly realizes]'' Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.
:'''Sharing Moose''': ''[tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away]'' Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot.
:'''Customer''': ''[throws up and crashes]'' I'm gonna need an extra napkin!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.
:'''Keswick''': Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.
:'''Chief''': Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?
:'''Keswick''': Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.
:'''Chief''': Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.
:'''Keswick''': That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?
:'''Dudley''': What? No! That's ridic-- 
:''[Kitty falls on him]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[after Dudley passes out from hyperventilating too much]'' Boy, he really is an idiot.

===''Lie Like A Dog / Cold Fish [1.26]''===

==''Season 2''==

===''Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01]''===
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Kitty's body after switching brains]'' It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me sleeping on floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. ''[calls Jack's number; makes a bad imitating of Kitty]'' Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.
:'''Jack''': Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat because I'm a cat and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. ''[nervously laughs]'' Wanna meet for lunch?
:'''Jack''': Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Ummm...I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. ''[laughs nervously]''
:'''Jack''': Actually, we've never been there before. &quot;Our Old Hangout&quot; is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! ''[falls to the floor]'' Aah! I twisted my ankle!
:''[Our Old Hangout restaurant, Jack is sitting at a booth waiting for Kitty (Dudley in Kitty's body) to arrive]''
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Hi, Jackie-poo! ''[has trouble walking in Kitty's boots and trips on Jack]'' Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. ''[giggles]''
:'''Jack''': Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Well, you ''deserved'' to be in jail. ''[slaps Jack in the face]''
:'''Jack''': ''[points to his convertible car outside]'' Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ5 Convertible.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want ''nothing'' to do with you! Oh, and to do this! ''[splashes a glass of water in Jack's face]'' And this! ''[squirts ketchup in his face]'' And maybe this too! ''[pushes a stick of butter on his forehead]'' And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': ''[on the phone]'' I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. ''[Kitty groans at him with anger]'' Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I ''love'' him, Kitty!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in Kitty's body]'' Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!
:'''Dudley''': Hi-YAH! ''[punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out]'' Take that, Snaptrap! ''[to Kitty, in Snaptrap's body]'' Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.
:'''Jack''': ''[comes out of the top secret computer room]'' The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.
:'''Kitty''': ''[imitating Snaptrap's voice]'' Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?
:'''Jack''': ''[tosses the flash drive in Snaptrap's (Kitty's) hands]'' You've got your list. Now, give me my money.
:'''Kitty''': No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. ''[picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice]'' I'm Kitty Katswell!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mr. Wong''': Dudley Puppy, you crossed the ''Wong'' guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.
:'''Kitty''': You know, this ''is'' a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice]'' Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food Dudley ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future.
:'''Mr. Wong''': ''[takes the credit card]'' Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. ''[leaves the building]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; bummed]'' Woe is me. ''[sighs depressingly]''
:'''Ollie''': Oh, are you depressed, boss?
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to &quot;Woe.&quot;
:'''Larry''': What's wrong, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[shouting angrily]'' IT'S &quot;WOE&quot;, LARRY!

===''Pup Daddy / Candy Cane-ine [2.02]''===
:'''Elderly Kitty''': Dudley, what have you done?!
:'''Elderly Chief''': Get him!

===''Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. ''[slides a slice of pizza under the door]''
:'''Kewsick''': I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, su-su-su-SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Access Hollywolf; Wolf Spitzer is interviewing Quacky the Duck and Sharing Moose]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.
:'''Quacky''': Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.
:'''Sharing Moose''': That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.
:'''Quacky''': Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?
:'''Sharing Moose''': It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?
:'''Quacky''': Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.
:'''Kitty''': ''[turns off the screen]'' What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?
:''[Elevator doors open]''
:'''Dudley''': KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!

===''Happy Howl-O-Ween [2.04]''===

===''Bark to Nature / Mutts and Bolts [2.05]''===

===''Dog House / Time Waits for No Mutt [2.06]''===

===''Mud with Power / Legal Beagle [2.07]''===

===''Hush Puppy / Quacky Birthday [2.08]''===

===''Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09]''===

===''Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10]''===
:'''Meerkat''': At last, sweet freedom! Now the members of F.L.O.P.P., the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators, can be reunited in crime! Right, Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! 'Cause I wanna be bad!
:'''Escape Goat''': So do I, but how can we commit crimes without going back to jail?!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': We could rob each other, and not press charges!
:'''Meerkat''': I have a better idea. I've contacted an old friend who leads the exciting life of a super villain, but has never gone to jail.
:'''Escape Goat''': What's his secret?
:'''Meerkat''': He's never actually committed a crime. Oh, he threatens to, but it's always a bluff. Fellow members of F.L.O.P.P., meet the Bluffalo!
:'''Bluffalo''': Hello, look at me. I'm parked in a handicapped space in a stolen van. Just kidding. I'm legally parked, and I'm leasing this.
:'''Meerkat''': I told you he was good.
:'''Bluffalo''': With my help, you will be able to terrorize Petropolis with empty threats, and never go to prison. Now, who wants some stolen pizza? I'm bluffing. I paid for it, and left a 20% tip. ''[giggles]''

===''Rat Trap / Agent of the Year [2.11]''===

===''Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12]''===

===''Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13]''===
:'''Dudley''': Thanks for having a snowball fight with me, Mr. President of the United States. ''[gets hit in the face with a snowball]''
:'''Simulated Eagle President''': You're welcome, Dudley. And since we're best friends now you can call me, &quot;Mr. United States.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Simulated Michael Crane''': It's always a pleasure to hang out with my best friend, Dudley Puppy.
:'''Dudley''': This is awesome! I have so many famous bird friends!
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, get out of the simulation station.
:'''Dudley''': Come on, Keswick. This is your coolest invention ever! Whatever I imagine in here becomes real! In fact, could you come in here for a second? I'd like to imagine you not bothering me.
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, I created the simulation station to ''train'' agents for dangerous, real-life situations, not so you could good off with a has-been actor and a lame duck president.
:'''Dudley''': He's not a duck. He's an eagle. Besides, Kitty said it was okay.
:'''Simulated Kitty''': I did. I think everything Dudley does is okay, if not amazing.
:'''Keswick''': That is not the real Agent Katswell.
:'''Dudley''': I know. I call her, &quot;agreeable Kitty.&quot; She's ''way'' better. ''[sees the real Kitty and gets startled]''
:'''Kitty''': Better, Dudley? How is ''she'' better?
:'''Dudley''': Well, for one thing, she doesn't scare me like you just did. Also, her head is a gumball machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Agent Puppy, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Did you take Keswick's coffee cup? ''[Keswick whispers to him; shocked]'' He did ''what?!'' That's ''way'' worse! Agents Puppy and Katswell, go get that simulated Michael Crane, and bring him back to T.U.F.F.! Keswick, go put agreeable Kitty back in the simulation station.
:'''Keswick''': One second, Chief. I'm trying to get a cherry gumball. ''[Agreeable Kitty explodes]'' The gumballs were all backed up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[eating an Animal Quacker]'' These taste like sugar cookies!
:'''Kitty''': Don't tell anyone I said this, but these are even better than my Carp Tarts!
:'''Bill''': I'm from the Carp Tarts company, and I heard that. You're fired, Ms. Katswell.
:'''Kitty''': You've been spying on me?!
:'''Bill''': The Carp Tarts company checks up on all their spokespeople. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, boy, hiding behind a ficus sure works up an appetite. ''[eats an Animal Quacker]'' Mm! Man, these ''are'' better than Carp Tarts! ''[chuckles]'' I can say that, 'cause no one's spying on me.
:'''Executive''': Wrong, Bill! You're FIRED!
:'''Bill''': ''[disappointed]'' Oh, great. Now I gotta go sell board games in the alley. ''[walks away, moping]''
:'''Dudley''': I'm sorry you lost your spokesperson job, Kitty, but the important thing is, I still have mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my super deep TV voice to sell more cookies!

===''Subliminal Criminal / Acting T.U.F.F. [2.14]''===

===''Close Encounters of the Doomed Kind / Golden Retriever [2.15]''===
:'''Chief''': Okay, I've had some time to get over the mop. And I've decided I can't get over the mop. So we're going after it! Keswick, break out the heavy artillery.
:'''Keswick''': I would, Chief. But the key to activate the weapon system is in Kitty's purse. Just kidding, it's in my fanny pack.
:'''Chief''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, good one, Keswick.

===''Til Doom Do Us Part [2.16]''===

===''Crime Takes a Holiday / Flower Power [2.17]''===
:''[Bird Brain and Zippy are both standing in front of the Brawny Booby clothing store]''
:'''Zippy''': Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby.
:'''Bird Brain''': Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter &quot;R.&quot; But, blue bottoms up! ''[gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body]'' Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! ''[skips inside the Brawny Booby]'' Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! ''[all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration]'' A bugwugwy?! Just get out! ''[puts on a pair of skinny jeans]'' Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter.

===''The Spelling Bee / House Broken [2.18]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Choices / Sob Story [2.19]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Sell / Tattle Tale [2.20]''===
:'''Meerkat''': I hereby call to order this meeting of F.L.O.P.P.: The Fiendish League of Potential Perpatrators!
:'''Escape Goat''': It's just me, Meerkat. You don't have to yell. Also, I know what F.L.O.P.P. stands for.
:'''Meerkat''': ''[annoyed]'' You know, Escape Goat, you've got quite an attitude for someone who couldn't even escape from the shower this morning!

===''True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21]''===
:'''Keswick''': Mmm. Chief, this three-bean salad you made is delicious!
:'''Chief''': Thanks. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't make it. I just took it out of the refrigerator. There's all kinds of stuff in here.
:'''Keswick''': ''[stammering]'' Wait a minute. This is my spill the beans salad! It's just as powerful as my truth syrup, but with fewer calories!
:'''Chief''': Oh, no! Truth beans give me gas. To be honest, I always have gas, but I blame it on Agent Puppy.
:'''Keswick''': I never have gas. I'm an alien. Oops!
:'''Chief''': Keswick, are you really an alien?
:'''Keswick''': No. Yes. I'm hiding out on Earth because I'm wanted on my own planet for cooking stinky fish at work. Super strict planet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[News footage on the screen monitor shows three police cars in front of a house robbery]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': This is Wolf Spitzer with breaking news. There are reports that Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot-- has robbed this strangely familiar home behind me. Wait, that's ''my'' house!
:'''Daughter Spitzer''': ''[tapping her father's shoulder]'' Daddy, Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot stole my video games!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Well, sweetie, that's no big deal.
:'''Mrs. Spitzer''': He also stole your golf clubs.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': That monster! Bigfoot must be hunted down and ''DESTROYED!''
:'''Dudley''': This is ridiculous! Bigfoot would never hurt anyone! He's kind, and generous, and he has a heart as big as his foot.
:'''Kitty''': How would you know that, Dudley?
:'''Dudley''': Because he came to comfort me when I was a kid after my mom sent me to bed without dessert. I didn't do anything wrong when we were just out of dessert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[whispering]'' Why is he talking to a mic?
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[annoyed]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying you whispered that to ''me.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[consoling Bigfoot]'' I'll figure out some way to get you out of here, buddy. I just need to think. Thinking is hard. Maybe I'll just make some hot chocolate. That's hard too. Or maybe I'll just sit here. ''[jumps and sits down on the floor]'' Ah, the floor is hard.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[on screen monitor]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying Bigfoot has struck again! And this time, he's teamed up with the beloved former show pony, Shenanigans. Yes, Shenanigans.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, look, Bigfoot. You're on TV. Wait. You're ''on'' TV. That means… ''[groans]'' more thinking. No, wait, I've got it. You're innocent! That means you're innocent!

===''Dancin' Machine / The Good, The Bad and The Quacky [2.22]''===

===''Pup Goes The Weasel / Puppy Pause [2.23]''===

===''Match Me If You Can / Organized Crime [2.24]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[sobbing along with Dudley]'' We're never gonna get Tammy back!
:'''Chief''': ''[sobbing]'' I give anything to hear Tammy's voice one more time!

===''A Tale of Two Kitties / Pup in the Air [2.25]''===

===''Girlfriend or Foe? / Scared Wit-Less [2.26]''===

==''Season 3''==

===''T.U.F.F. Break Up [3.01]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02]''===
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; Tammy is in the elevator putting makeup on, the elevator doors open, revealing Keswick laying on a floating pink cloud with hearts in his eyes, staring dreamily at her]''
:'''Keswick''': Morning, Tammy! ''[Tammy screams]'' I've been on Cloud 9 since I met you. Cloud 9 is the name of the hovering platform I built to be closer to your face. ''[Tammy closes the elevator doors on his nose]'' Love hurts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Let me guess, Tammy trouble?
:'''Keswick''': Yeah. It just seems my wooing isn't working.
:'''Dudley''': Well, maybe Kitty can give you some girl advice. She's kind of a girl.
:'''Kitty''': ''[flicks Dudley in the ear]'' Thanks, Dudley. And you're kind of a secret agent. So, how exactly have you been wooing her, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': Well let's see, I snuck into her house, then wrote &quot;I love you&quot; on her bathroom mirror in ketchup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, this is a nightmare!
:'''Dudley''': You're telling me. I really wanted that lemon cream donut.
:'''Keswick''': I'm never gonna win Tammy over.
:'''Dudley''': You just gotta keep trying, Keswick. I know women, and the one thing they love is being desperately pursued by a guy they're ''not'' interested in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis Hospital; Snaptrap and Bird Brain are recovering after being beaten by Tammy]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, this is humiliating.
:'''Bird Brain''': You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!
:'''Snaptrap''': No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.
:'''Bird Brain''': We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.
:'''Snaptrap''': Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

===''Dead or a Lie / Tourist Trap [3.03]''===

===''Hide and Ghost Seek / Cod Squad [3.04]''===

===''Barking Bad / Smarty Pants [3.05]''===

===''Great Scott / To Be or Not to Bee [3.06]''===
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Wait! The Rumble Bee?! That's my brother, the one who went to the Amazon without me! ''[groans]'' He must've been sprayed by those scientists and turned into a killer bee! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! ''[to Dudley and Kitty]'' The Rumble Bee doesn't need to be a killer bee. ''[to the viewers]'' He's already super bad! HE'S A MONSTER!

===''While the Cats Away / Sweet Revenge [3.07]''===

===''Puff Puppy / Stressed to Kill [3.08]''===

[[Category:American comedy TV shows]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154733</id>
      <parentid>3154731</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:26:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08] */</comment>
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      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="50815" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''T.U.F.F. Puppy''''' is an American action comedy television series created by Butch Hartman for Nickelodeon. The series' main character is a mixed-breed dog named Dudley Puppy who works as a spy for an organization called T.U.F.F. (short for Turbo Undercover Fighting Force). His partner is a girl cat named Kitty Katswell. Other helpers are Keswick, and The Chief.

==''Season 1''== 

===''Purr-fect Partners / Doom-mates [1.01]''===
:'''Blue Rabbit Tourist''': Who are you?
:'''Snaptrap''': Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!
:'''Blue Elephant Tourist''': Oh you, uh, Dr. Destruction?
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! No!
:'''Violet Hippo Lady Tourist''': You're the Kangarooster. The-the bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sighs annoyingly]'' I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! ''[holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]''
:'''Tourists''': ''[in unison]'' Never heard of you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! ''[knocks off glass case to steal the Kruger Rat]''
:'''Tour Guide''': Think again, Snaptrap! ''[rips off her disguise, revealing herself to be T.U.F.F. agent, Kitty Katswell]'' Hyah!
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, if it isn't Special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! ''[grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor]'' Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!
:'''Kitty''': I'd rather use my ten claws!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; the scientists are doing research tests on Dudley while running on a treadmill with monitoring equipment hooked up to him, chasing his chew toy]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Keswick. What's up with the dog?
:'''Keswick''': His name is Dudley Puppy, Chief. He's the perfect combination of every breed of dog known to man. The fleet feet of a Greyhound, the sensitive nose of a bl-bl-bl-Bloodhound, with the bravery of a German sh-sh-sh-sh-Shepherd.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.
:'''Dudley''': Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

===''Cruisin' for a Bruisin' / Puppy Love [1.02]''===

===''Mall Rat / Operation: Happy Birthday [1.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[flips into view; to Dudley in his cubicle]'' Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. ''[holds up a newspaper article of Snaptrap's release from prison]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[looking at computer monitor]'' Oh, yeah.
:'''Kitty''': Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!
:'''Dudley''': ''[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while looking at the monitor]'' Come to papa.
:'''Kitty''': Are you surfing meat again?
:''[Monitor shows an image of a T-Bone steak]''
:'''Dudley''': Who me? No, that would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.
:''[Agent Bossy moos; the lights go out and a feed of Snaptrap, wearing an elegant tuxedo, is displayed on all monitors]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
:'''Snaptrap''': My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. ''[holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it]'' Say hello to Vivian!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in unison; unenthusiastically]'' Hello, Vivian.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Citizens''': ''[chanting]'' Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!
:'''Kitty''': Get a grip, people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous or bombs, or-or poisonous bombs!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Little Chipmunk Girl''': You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?
:'''Kitty''': ''[looks up at everyone terrified of her]'' No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, mean lady, where you going?
:'''Kitty''': ''[walks to the mall's entrance; sighs sadly]'' I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[on monitors]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? ''[rips off his tuxedo]'' I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. ''[laughs evilly]''
:''[Everyone screams in panic]''
:'''Kitty''': Aha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. ''[pulls out pom-pons and shakes them around]'' Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Francisco''': Uh, boss, you're still ''in'' the mall.
:'''Snaptrap''': Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put &quot;Leave the mall&quot; on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
:'''Francisco''': No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
:'''Snaptrap''': Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
:''[Larry dreadfully obeys]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, will that actually work?
:'''Dudley''': Trust her, guys. She's got good instincts.
:''[Kitty smiles]''
:'''Mall Patron #1''': Are you crazy? She blew up my muffin!
:'''Mall Patron #2''': She ruined my day at the beach!
:'''Mall Patron #3''': She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!
:'''Chief''': No, she didn't.
:'''Mall Patron #3''': Oh, sorry. I thought we were just yelling stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What's the temperature, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': 112 degrees, sir. ''[his clothes burn off]'' Perfectly survivable, unless you're made of soap.
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[as Vivian melts]'' NO! Vivian, now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
:'''Kitty''': Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make ''another'' soap friend.
:'''Snaptrap''': Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
:'''Francisco''': ''[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat]'' It's too hot, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': I will now PLOT MY REVENGE! And I'd love a copy of those photos.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': I get the glasses, you get the pretzel.
:'''Dudley''': No I want, the glasses, the pretzel is stale.
:'''Kitty''': Give me those glasses!
:''[Dudley and Kitty hit each other and the sunglasses snap apart]''
:'''Dudley''': You broke the sunglasses! WHY, MEAN LADY?! '''WHY?!?'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. ''[to Ollie, threatening to trade with him]'' Trade with me or perish! ''[takes a bite of the sandwich]'' Oh this is delicious! What is it?
:'''Ollie''': ''[hesitantly]'' Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! AAAGGGHHHH! I'm horribly allergic to cheese! ''[swells up]''
:'''Francisco''': Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[bangs his fist on the table, stopping the laughing]'' SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': What kind of cake is this?
:'''Dudley''': It's cheesecake, Snaptrap.
:'''Snaptrap''': A cake, made of cheese?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, we did it! Thanks to you, I got what I wanted for my birthday-- I caught a bad guy! ''[breaks down into tears]'' This is the greatest birthday ever!
:'''Dudley''': Well, your birthday's not over yet. What do you say we set this magnet to party?
:'''Kitty''': You set it to &quot;cow.&quot;
:''[They both start to run from the raining cows in slow-motion]''
:'''Dudley''': Happy Birthday, Kitty!

===''Toast of T.U.F.F. / Share-A-Lair [1.04]''===
:'''Chief''': Stop monkeying around, Keswick. We got a serious issue to deal with. One that threatens the very existence of T.U.F.F.: The toaster in the snack room is in the fritz!
:''[Everyone screams in horror]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[falls to the floor in despair]'' NOOOO!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE FROZEN WAFFLES IN MY POCKET?!?! SOMEBODY WAKE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE! 
:'''Kitty''': Keswick, you have to do something! I BROUGHT TOASTER PASTRIES TODAY!! 
:'''Hologram Keswick''': Actually, Agent K-K-Katswell, I'm over there. ''[points to the real Keswick]''
:'''Everyone''': '''JUST FIX THE TOASTER!!!'''
:'''Keswick''': Alright, but I'm gonna need some time. Sorry I took so long, but I added a few u-u-u-upgrades. T.U.F.F. agents, meet R.I.T.A.!
:'''Kitty''': R.I.T.A.?
:'''R.I.T.A.''': It's an anagram for &quot;Robotic Interactive Toasting Appliance.&quot; 
:'''Keswick''': I never thought of that, I just like the name. I was also toying with Sheila, but she the f-fa-f-f-fax machine. Anyway, R.I.T.A.'s an artificially intelligent device whose prime-directed is to t-t-toast stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Look, Chief, R.I.T.A. may have foiled the bad guys evil plans, but ''we're'' the ones who captured them!
:'''Chief''': Whoop-Dee-Doo. All you did was put the T.U.F.F. cops on Snaptrap, and the Chameleon into an empty peanut butter jar.
:'''Dudley''': ''[with a mouthful of peanut butter]'' Yeah, but someone had to eat all the peanut butter first! And without a glass of milk I might add. ''[R.I.T.A. offers him a glass of milk]'' Back off, R.I.T.A.!
:'''Chief''': Agent R.I.T.A. and I have been talking.
:'''Kitty''': &quot;Agent&quot; R.I.T.A.?!
:'''Chief''': She asked for a promotion and I gave it to her. I also threw in a parking space and her own secretary.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[As Tammy gives her mug of coffee]'' Thank you, Tammy. ''[drinks her coffee]''
:'''Dudley''': So we're supposed to work with a toaster?
:'''Chief''': No. R.I.T.A. help me find the perfect assignment for the two of you.
:''[Dudley and Kitty are serving Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria]''
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe it's come to this. Eight years of secret agent college, and I'm serving Swedish meatballs in a hairnet?!
:'''Dudley''': ''[scarfing down meatballs]'' I know it's humiliating. But these things are delicious.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Well, closing time, R.I.T.A. Great job today. You were the toast of TUFF. Now excuse me while I unplug you for the n-n-n-night.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[grabs Keswick's hand from preventing to do so]'' I'm sorry Keswick, but I cannot allow you to unplug me.
:'''Keswick''': But we're an eco-friendly office. ''[grabs the plug as R.I.T.A. electrocutes him and screams in pain]''
:'''R.I.T.A.''': I run the office now, and I make the rules. Rule number one: ''No one'' turns me off.
:'''Keswick''': R.I.T.A. aren't you getting c-c-c-carried away? You work for T.U.F.F. just like everybody else.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': Not anymore.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[getting hit by paper cups]'' Ahh! Paper cups!
:'''Dudley''': ''[getting hit by paper]'' AHH! PAPER CUTS!
:'''Keswick''': ''[getting hit by paper clips]'' Ahh! Paper clips! ''[R.I.T.A. blasts a hole out of the building as she heads for the Petropolis Power station]'' R.I.T.A.'s headed for the city power grid!
:'''Chief''': You two have to stop her or Petropolis is toast!
:'''Dudley''': Toast! That's it! Keswick, didn't you say R.I.T.A.'s prime-directive is to toast?
:'''Keswick''': Oh, I think I see where you're going, Agent Puppy. You want to build a satellite operated transponder that will reprogram R.I.T.A.'s primary behavioral sequencing?
:'''Dudley''': I was just gonna tape some bread to my stomach and butt.
:'''Keswick''': Little complicated, but it could work.

===''Snapnapped / Mom-A-Geddon [1.05]''===
:'''Keswick''': ''[runs out of the Dumpin' Donuts shop with a box of donuts and heads back to headquarters]'' How humiliating. Someone of my intellect reduced to carrying a buh-b-b-box of circular fattening breakfast pastries! ''[comes to a stop; gloomed with sadness]'' Sometimes I feel like no one ap-prah-pr-pr-prah-pr-preciates me.
:''[The bus &quot;of D.O.O.M.&quot; stops at a bus stop and Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M. agents jump out]''
:'''Snaptrap''': There he is! The genius of T.U.F.F., Falswick!
:'''Keswick''': First of all, it's &quot;Keswick&quot; and w-waah-wah-what do you want, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': I want you to come and work for me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': PETER POPPER PIPED A POT OF PURPLE PEEPERS!
:'''Kitty''': No, let me! Peter Paper peeled a pouch of plastic pappies!
:'''Chief''': Pa pa pa pa pa pee pee pa pa pee pee pa pa! ''[groans]'' Thought I nailed it. Kitty, Dudley, focus!
:'''Dudley, Kitty and Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
:'''Keswick''': ''[recorded]'' Code phrase, accepted.
:'''Dudley''': Toff the T.O.F.F. mobile!
:'''Kitty''': You mean, to the T.U.F.F. mobile!
:'''Dudley''': Thought I nailed that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the monitor screen, Dudley's mother, Peg Puppy is standing outside in front the headquarters building]''
:'''Keswick''': Security alert. There's an elderly woman outside the building. She could be a c-c-c-criminal. Activating security blasters!
:'''Dudley''': That's not a criminal. That's my mom!
:'''Peg''': ''[on screen from outside]'' Dudley, I know you're in there.
:'''Dudley''': ''[shrieks]'' We can't let her find out I'm a secret agent! If she knows I have dangerous job, she'll make me quit! I don't wanna quit, Chief! I like being a secret agent!

===''Dog Daze / Internal Affairs [1.06]''===
:'''Chief''': Holy! Now I'm giant! Finally, I can ride the rollercoaster with the big kids.... Oh, right, shrink-ray.

===''Chilly Dog / The Doomies [1.07]''===
:'''Dudley''': Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!
:'''Kitty''': Okay, now what do we do?
:'''Dudley''': That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.
:''[A sinister giggle is heard; Dudley and Kitty see two silhouette figures stepping out of the shadows, revealing themselves to be…]''
:'''Kitty''': Wait. Snowflake and Slush? ''You're'' the bad guys?!
:'''Dudley''': The old lady must've put them up to it!
:'''Snowflake''': No, Tiffany. You see, Slush and I haven't ''won'' a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ''ours!''
:'''Dudley''': Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!
:'''Snowflake''': I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. ''[takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, laughs evilly and coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it]'' This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!
:'''Dudley''': ''[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle]'' We got the whole team now!
:'''Kitty''': Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting dumb and stupid]'' I learned a lot in the car. ''[makes a dumb face]'' I like the car!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I am ''never'' taking this off.

===''Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08]''===
:'''Dudley''': Snaptrap's Coffee?! Snappy Trap's Iced Tea?! Bob's Big Rat?! ''[view out to Petropolis, nine Staptrap-themed, also known as…]'' SNAPTRAPOLIS?! WHAT DID I DO?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[seeing Dudley wearing the cone]'' HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!
:'''Kitty''': Keswick!
:'''Dudley''': It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. ''[quickly breaks into tears]'' OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?! I ''HATE'' THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!
:'''Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief''': ''[react with horror at Dudley's butt rash; in unison]'' NO!
:'''Chief''': My eyes!
:'''Dudley''': Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, activate the rash shield!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Ooh, Larry. You're getting a ghostly wedgie!
:'''Larry''': Stop it, Snaptrap, I can totally ''see'' you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Oh, really? ''[drops Larry in the shark pit]''

===''Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09]''===
:'''Ollie''': ''[answering the phone]'' Diabolical Order of Mayhem. We deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free.
:'''Snaptrap''': Hey, it's Snaptrap. I've fallen in love with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. Snaptrap out forever. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Ollie''': Hey, everyone. Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff!
:'''Snaptrap''': That was hard. They were devastated.

===''Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10]''===

===''Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[hearing Keswick dry heaving]'' Keswick, are you all right?
:'''Keswick''': ''[nauseous]'' Not really. I'm prone to motion sickness, ''[holds up a a jar mayonnaise as his face turns green with envy]'' and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping. ''[dry heaves as his face turns purple]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': He's ''your'' partner! Do something, Agent Katswell!
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting as Kitty]'' Do what, Chief? Karate chop bad guys? ''[karate chops the ground]'' Act like I'm always right? Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes? ''[imitates Kitty's gestures]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[defensively]'' Uh! I ''never'' do that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What do we do now, Keswick?
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Keswick]'' I can assure you there are a number of options, none of which your p-p-puny minds can grasp. ''[Keswick grins at Kitty]'' Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work on the Lady Keswick I've been building!
:'''Keswick''': How do you know about that?! ''[blatant]'' I mean, I'm not bu-bu-building a Lady Keswick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Oh, no! Now we'll never figure out what's going on with Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Snaptrap]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:''[Kitty and Keswick groan in unison]''
:'''Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Oh, brother.
:'''Dudley''': And now, to make my ''daring'' escape! ''[runs to the elevator]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': Guys, are you okay?! Speak to me! It's Dudley!
:'''Keswick, Chief, and Kitty''': ''[all recovering, acting like Dudley; in unison]'' No, ''I'm'' Dudley!
:'''Dudley''': Wait for me!
:'''Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and Chief''': ''[as bugs fly into their noses; in unison]'' AH! BUG UP THE NOSE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Behold, my new high tech mind reading device. It allows whoever w-wears it to hear the thoughts of anyone close by.
:''[Kitty snatches it out of his hands and puts it on as she listens to the Chief's thoughts]''
:'''Chief''': ''Okay, she's reading my mind. Don't think about how gross her cookies are. Don't think about how gross her cookies are.''
:'''Kitty''': ''[suprised with anger]'' I knew it! You ''hate'' my cookies!
:'''Dudley''': Wow, Chief. Do you hate Christmas, too? Let's see what Mr. Critical thinks of me. ''[puts the helmet on his head]''
:'''Chief''': ''[as Dudley picks his nose]'' ''Oh, man. Agent Puppy is a total slob.''
:'''Dudley''': You think I'm a slob?!
:'''Keswick''': ''[takes the helmet away]'' Stop. Clearly you lack the self esteem to w-w-wear this. Though that's not surprising. Recent psychological studies indicate that…
:'''Chief''': ''Oh, man. Put a sock in it, Dr. Boring.''
:'''Keswick''': ''[fully hurt]'' Well, that stings. Fortunately, I'm too m-m-m-mature to resort to name calling. Now if you'll excuse me, ''[starts tearing up]'' Dr. Boring is going to perform a heart transplant. 'CAUSE MINE'S BROKEN! ''[walks away sobbing as Kitty and Dudley glare annoyingly at the Chief]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I'd comment but, Dr. Boring doesn't make house calls. ''[breaks into tears]'' Cry, weep, sob!
:'''Kitty''': You wouldn't want to celebrate with somebody who make gross cookies.
:'''Dudley''': Or a slob like me! That cut like a knife.

===''Frisky Business / Hot Dog [1.12]''===
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[shivering with his tail all frozen]'' This is Wolf Spitzer freezing my tail off at the Petropolis Dog Show. Tonight, the city's most perfect pooch will win the grand prize, their very own mailman.
:'''Keswick''': ''[turns off the news channel]'' What kind of self-absorbed doofus would enter a dog show?

===''Kid Stuff / Super Duper Crime Busters [1.13]''===

===''Disobedience School / The Dog Who Cried Fish [1.14]''===

===''The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15]''===
:'''Dudley''': You can't fight it, Snaptrap! You got the music in you!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[straining to resist the dance]'' Must…be…STRONG! ''[Dudley pushes the dance floor button on the boom box, smashes it on the ground, lighting up the dance floor]'' Oh, no! GOTTA DANCE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[worn out]'' Man, I'm pooped.
:'''Dudley clones''': Ha! He said poop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis convention center; Bird Brain and co. arrive in their Whirly Bird helicopter for the International Booby Con]''
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[laughs]'' Hey! Hey! Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! ''[the convention center is completely empty as he, Zippy, and his henchmen enter]'' Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies ''everywhere!''
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': Boobies!
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': HERE, at the convention! Oh Zippy, I am so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the ''only'' blue-bottomed booby, in existence!
:'''Zippy''': Look on the bright side boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. ''[Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there]'' Or third.
:'''Bird Brain''': Save me some lox, Owl!
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''ME!''
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[jumps]'' At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now!
:'''Zippy''': You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bird Brain''': This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I ''love'' being the only booby!
:'''Unnamed Booby''': ''[appears]'' Greetings, fellow booby! ''[suddenly and inexplicably tied to a rocket outside the convention, via, Bird Brain]''
:'''Bird Brain''': Hello, and GOOD-BYE! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever…right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae.

===''Snappy Campers / Lucky Duck [1.16]''===
:''[Dudley arrives at the Network President's house and rings the doorbell]''
:'''Network President''': ''[answers the door]'' Can I help you?
:'''Dudley''': Good news, Mr. Network President. You get to go in the quack sack! ''[the president annoyingly closes the door]'' He's probably just getting a jacket. ''[kicks the door open and enters the house]'' Hello! ''[puts the president in the sack and runs to the T.U.F.F. mobile]'' Don't thank me. Thank Quacky.

===''The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17]''===
:'''Bird Brain''': Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.
:'''Snaptrap''': Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.
:'''Chameleon''': Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!
:'''Chameleon''': Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll ''really'' get to bond. Can I get a &quot;team evil?&quot;
:'''Bird Brain''': No, please! Put me in solitary!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[in high-pitched voice]'' Wait kids, think about your future!
:'''Dudley''': ''[laughs in high-pitched voice]'' Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny Dudley! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something.
:'''Kitty''': I hear a beeping sound.

===''Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18]''===

===''Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19]''===
:''[3 to 5 years later, D.O.O.M. headquarters; The agents, in their prison uniforms walk in]''
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[upbeat]'' Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. DRINK IT, FRANCISCO! ''[Francisco drinks the spoiled milk, gets sick as his face turns green and collapses]'' Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
:'''Larry''': Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in denial]'' I'm sorry Larry. I can't hear you FROM THE SHARK TANK! ''[pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him]'' Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
:'''Larry''': ''[climbing out of the shark tank; fed up with anger]'' That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! ''[walks off with purpose]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Sticks and stones, LARRY! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
:''[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]''
:'''Larry''': OW! My bones!
:'''Snaptrap''': I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
:'''Ollie''': ''[as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it]'' Wait up, Larry!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[digs into his pockets]'' Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': ''[on-screen]'' It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: &quot;G.L.O.O.M.&quot;
:'''Dudley''': No offense, but &quot;Larry's&quot; not a very scary name.
:'''Larry''': Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…''Murray!''
:''[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Ahh! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Attention, T.U.F.F. nitwits! It is I, ''Murray!'' ''[Kitty and Chief gasp]'' I'm here to tell you about my diabolical plan!
:'''Chief''': Thank you, Murray, you've made one middle-aged flea very happy!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I've received intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
:'''Dudley''': Who's the Stink Bug?
:'''Keswick''': A diabolical bug villain who stinks. Duh! It's right in his name! Because of his rancid smell, we r-ruh-ran him out of town.
:'''Chief''': Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge!
:'''Keswick''': Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger Chuh-Chuh-Cheese Factory.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stink Bug''': I told you, I DON'T shower! ''[gets in Percival's face]'' YOU ARE THE ''WORST'' EVIL INTERN EVER!
:'''Percival''': Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description.

===''A Doomed Christmas [1.20]''===

===''Big Dog on Campus / Dog's Best Friend [1.21]''===

===''Mission: Really Big Mission [1.22]''===

===''Monkey Business / Diary of a Mad Cat [1.23]''===

===''Dudley Do-Wrong / Puppy Unplugged [1.24]''===

===''Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25]''===
:''[Kitty, Keswick, and all the agents are injured by Dudley pouncing on them from getting his lasagna]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[typing on her computer]'' Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
:'''Keswick''': Are they in jail?
:'''Kitty''': No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
:''[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]''
:'''Snaptrap''': I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
:'''Keswick''': Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
:''[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]''
:'''Meerkat''': It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: &quot;F.L.O.P.P.!&quot; Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, ''[pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and 'Meerkat' at the bottom]'' see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. ''[throws the sign away]'' Moving on…Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': I'm here and I wanna be bad!
:'''Meerkat''': Oooh, I like your moxy. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? ''[Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye]'' Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
:'''Escape Goat''': I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
:'''Meerkat''': Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! Let's do something super bad! ''[falls into the creamer]''
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
:'''Escape Goat''': Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!
:'''Meerkat''': Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': You're going to jail, F.L.O.P.P.!
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, goody! Do you hear that, boys? We're going to jail like real criminals! ''[realizes]'' Oh, no! We're going to jail like ''real'' criminals!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, ''and'' convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant; Quack in the Box.
:'''Quacky''': Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I'm only gonna say this once, &quot;Eat here or else!&quot;
:'''Quacky''': Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.
:'''Chief''': Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!
:'''Keswick''': Looks like the Sharing Moose is already doing that.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I said get in line, grandma!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?
:'''Keswick''': Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.
:'''Kitty''': Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten. Right, Dudley?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I LAND!
:'''Sharing Moose''': Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.
:'''Quacky''': Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! ''[quickly realizes]'' Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.
:'''Sharing Moose''': ''[tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away]'' Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot.
:'''Customer''': ''[throws up and crashes]'' I'm gonna need an extra napkin!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.
:'''Keswick''': Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.
:'''Chief''': Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?
:'''Keswick''': Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.
:'''Chief''': Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.
:'''Keswick''': That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?
:'''Dudley''': What? No! That's ridic-- 
:''[Kitty falls on him]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[after Dudley passes out from hyperventilating too much]'' Boy, he really is an idiot.

===''Lie Like A Dog / Cold Fish [1.26]''===

==''Season 2''==

===''Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01]''===
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Kitty's body after switching brains]'' It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me sleeping on floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. ''[calls Jack's number; makes a bad imitating of Kitty]'' Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.
:'''Jack''': Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat because I'm a cat and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. ''[nervously laughs]'' Wanna meet for lunch?
:'''Jack''': Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Ummm...I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. ''[laughs nervously]''
:'''Jack''': Actually, we've never been there before. &quot;Our Old Hangout&quot; is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! ''[falls to the floor]'' Aah! I twisted my ankle!
:''[Our Old Hangout restaurant, Jack is sitting at a booth waiting for Kitty (Dudley in Kitty's body) to arrive]''
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Hi, Jackie-poo! ''[has trouble walking in Kitty's boots and trips on Jack]'' Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. ''[giggles]''
:'''Jack''': Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Well, you ''deserved'' to be in jail. ''[slaps Jack in the face]''
:'''Jack''': ''[points to his convertible car outside]'' Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ5 Convertible.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want ''nothing'' to do with you! Oh, and to do this! ''[splashes a glass of water in Jack's face]'' And this! ''[squirts ketchup in his face]'' And maybe this too! ''[pushes a stick of butter on his forehead]'' And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': ''[on the phone]'' I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. ''[Kitty groans at him with anger]'' Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I ''love'' him, Kitty!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in Kitty's body]'' Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!
:'''Dudley''': Hi-YAH! ''[punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out]'' Take that, Snaptrap! ''[to Kitty, in Snaptrap's body]'' Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.
:'''Jack''': ''[comes out of the top secret computer room]'' The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.
:'''Kitty''': ''[imitating Snaptrap's voice]'' Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?
:'''Jack''': ''[tosses the flash drive in Snaptrap's (Kitty's) hands]'' You've got your list. Now, give me my money.
:'''Kitty''': No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. ''[picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice]'' I'm Kitty Katswell!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mr. Wong''': Dudley Puppy, you crossed the ''Wong'' guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.
:'''Kitty''': You know, this ''is'' a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice]'' Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food Dudley ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future.
:'''Mr. Wong''': ''[takes the credit card]'' Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. ''[leaves the building]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; bummed]'' Woe is me. ''[sighs depressingly]''
:'''Ollie''': Oh, are you depressed, boss?
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to &quot;Woe.&quot;
:'''Larry''': What's wrong, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[shouting angrily]'' IT'S &quot;WOE&quot;, LARRY!

===''Pup Daddy / Candy Cane-ine [2.02]''===
:'''Elderly Kitty''': Dudley, what have you done?!
:'''Elderly Chief''': Get him!

===''Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. ''[slides a slice of pizza under the door]''
:'''Kewsick''': I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, su-su-su-SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Access Hollywolf; Wolf Spitzer is interviewing Quacky the Duck and Sharing Moose]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.
:'''Quacky''': Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.
:'''Sharing Moose''': That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.
:'''Quacky''': Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?
:'''Sharing Moose''': It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?
:'''Quacky''': Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.
:'''Kitty''': ''[turns off the screen]'' What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?
:''[Elevator doors open]''
:'''Dudley''': KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!

===''Happy Howl-O-Ween [2.04]''===

===''Bark to Nature / Mutts and Bolts [2.05]''===

===''Dog House / Time Waits for No Mutt [2.06]''===

===''Mud with Power / Legal Beagle [2.07]''===

===''Hush Puppy / Quacky Birthday [2.08]''===

===''Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09]''===

===''Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10]''===
:'''Meerkat''': At last, sweet freedom! Now the members of F.L.O.P.P., the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators, can be reunited in crime! Right, Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! 'Cause I wanna be bad!
:'''Escape Goat''': So do I, but how can we commit crimes without going back to jail?!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': We could rob each other, and not press charges!
:'''Meerkat''': I have a better idea. I've contacted an old friend who leads the exciting life of a super villain, but has never gone to jail.
:'''Escape Goat''': What's his secret?
:'''Meerkat''': He's never actually committed a crime. Oh, he threatens to, but it's always a bluff. Fellow members of F.L.O.P.P., meet the Bluffalo!
:'''Bluffalo''': Hello, look at me. I'm parked in a handicapped space in a stolen van. Just kidding. I'm legally parked, and I'm leasing this.
:'''Meerkat''': I told you he was good.
:'''Bluffalo''': With my help, you will be able to terrorize Petropolis with empty threats, and never go to prison. Now, who wants some stolen pizza? I'm bluffing. I paid for it, and left a 20% tip. ''[giggles]''

===''Rat Trap / Agent of the Year [2.11]''===

===''Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12]''===

===''Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13]''===
:'''Dudley''': Thanks for having a snowball fight with me, Mr. President of the United States. ''[gets hit in the face with a snowball]''
:'''Simulated Eagle President''': You're welcome, Dudley. And since we're best friends now you can call me, &quot;Mr. United States.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Simulated Michael Crane''': It's always a pleasure to hang out with my best friend, Dudley Puppy.
:'''Dudley''': This is awesome! I have so many famous bird friends!
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, get out of the simulation station.
:'''Dudley''': Come on, Keswick. This is your coolest invention ever! Whatever I imagine in here becomes real! In fact, could you come in here for a second? I'd like to imagine you not bothering me.
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, I created the simulation station to ''train'' agents for dangerous, real-life situations, not so you could good off with a has-been actor and a lame duck president.
:'''Dudley''': He's not a duck. He's an eagle. Besides, Kitty said it was okay.
:'''Simulated Kitty''': I did. I think everything Dudley does is okay, if not amazing.
:'''Keswick''': That is not the real Agent Katswell.
:'''Dudley''': I know. I call her, &quot;agreeable Kitty.&quot; She's ''way'' better. ''[sees the real Kitty and gets startled]''
:'''Kitty''': Better, Dudley? How is ''she'' better?
:'''Dudley''': Well, for one thing, she doesn't scare me like you just did. Also, her head is a gumball machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Agent Puppy, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Did you take Keswick's coffee cup? ''[Keswick whispers to him; shocked]'' He did ''what?!'' That's ''way'' worse! Agents Puppy and Katswell, go get that simulated Michael Crane, and bring him back to T.U.F.F.! Keswick, go put agreeable Kitty back in the simulation station.
:'''Keswick''': One second, Chief. I'm trying to get a cherry gumball. ''[Agreeable Kitty explodes]'' The gumballs were all backed up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[eating an Animal Quacker]'' These taste like sugar cookies!
:'''Kitty''': Don't tell anyone I said this, but these are even better than my Carp Tarts!
:'''Bill''': I'm from the Carp Tarts company, and I heard that. You're fired, Ms. Katswell.
:'''Kitty''': You've been spying on me?!
:'''Bill''': The Carp Tarts company checks up on all their spokespeople. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, boy, hiding behind a ficus sure works up an appetite. ''[eats an Animal Quacker]'' Mm! Man, these ''are'' better than Carp Tarts! ''[chuckles]'' I can say that, 'cause no one's spying on me.
:'''Executive''': Wrong, Bill! You're FIRED!
:'''Bill''': ''[disappointed]'' Oh, great. Now I gotta go sell board games in the alley. ''[walks away, moping]''
:'''Dudley''': I'm sorry you lost your spokesperson job, Kitty, but the important thing is, I still have mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my super deep TV voice to sell more cookies!

===''Subliminal Criminal / Acting T.U.F.F. [2.14]''===

===''Close Encounters of the Doomed Kind / Golden Retriever [2.15]''===
:'''Chief''': Okay, I've had some time to get over the mop. And I've decided I can't get over the mop. So we're going after it! Keswick, break out the heavy artillery.
:'''Keswick''': I would, Chief. But the key to activate the weapon system is in Kitty's purse. Just kidding, it's in my fanny pack.
:'''Chief''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, good one, Keswick.

===''Til Doom Do Us Part [2.16]''===

===''Crime Takes a Holiday / Flower Power [2.17]''===
:''[Bird Brain and Zippy are both standing in front of the Brawny Booby clothing store]''
:'''Zippy''': Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby.
:'''Bird Brain''': Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter &quot;R.&quot; But, blue bottoms up! ''[gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body]'' Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! ''[skips inside the Brawny Booby]'' Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! ''[all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration]'' A bugwugwy?! Just get out! ''[puts on a pair of skinny jeans]'' Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter.

===''The Spelling Bee / House Broken [2.18]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Choices / Sob Story [2.19]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Sell / Tattle Tale [2.20]''===
:'''Meerkat''': I hereby call to order this meeting of F.L.O.P.P.: The Fiendish League of Potential Perpatrators!
:'''Escape Goat''': It's just me, Meerkat. You don't have to yell. Also, I know what F.L.O.P.P. stands for.
:'''Meerkat''': ''[annoyed]'' You know, Escape Goat, you've got quite an attitude for someone who couldn't even escape from the shower this morning!

===''True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21]''===
:'''Keswick''': Mmm. Chief, this three-bean salad you made is delicious!
:'''Chief''': Thanks. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't make it. I just took it out of the refrigerator. There's all kinds of stuff in here.
:'''Keswick''': ''[stammering]'' Wait a minute. This is my spill the beans salad! It's just as powerful as my truth syrup, but with fewer calories!
:'''Chief''': Oh, no! Truth beans give me gas. To be honest, I always have gas, but I blame it on Agent Puppy.
:'''Keswick''': I never have gas. I'm an alien. Oops!
:'''Chief''': Keswick, are you really an alien?
:'''Keswick''': No. Yes. I'm hiding out on Earth because I'm wanted on my own planet for cooking stinky fish at work. Super strict planet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[News footage on the screen monitor shows three police cars in front of a house robbery]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': This is Wolf Spitzer with breaking news. There are reports that Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot-- has robbed this strangely familiar home behind me. Wait, that's ''my'' house!
:'''Daughter Spitzer''': ''[tapping her father's shoulder]'' Daddy, Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot stole my video games!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Well, sweetie, that's no big deal.
:'''Mrs. Spitzer''': He also stole your golf clubs.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': That monster! Bigfoot must be hunted down and ''DESTROYED!''
:'''Dudley''': This is ridiculous! Bigfoot would never hurt anyone! He's kind, and generous, and he has a heart as big as his foot.
:'''Kitty''': How would you know that, Dudley?
:'''Dudley''': Because he came to comfort me when I was a kid after my mom sent me to bed without dessert. I didn't do anything wrong when we were just out of dessert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[whispering]'' Why is he talking to a mic?
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[annoyed]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying you whispered that to ''me.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[consoling Bigfoot]'' I'll figure out some way to get you out of here, buddy. I just need to think. Thinking is hard. Maybe I'll just make some hot chocolate. That's hard too. Or maybe I'll just sit here. ''[jumps and sits down on the floor]'' Ah, the floor is hard.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[on screen monitor]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying Bigfoot has struck again! And this time, he's teamed up with the beloved former show pony, Shenanigans. Yes, Shenanigans.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, look, Bigfoot. You're on TV. Wait. You're ''on'' TV. That means… ''[groans]'' more thinking. No, wait, I've got it. You're innocent! That means you're innocent!

===''Dancin' Machine / The Good, The Bad and The Quacky [2.22]''===

===''Pup Goes The Weasel / Puppy Pause [2.23]''===

===''Match Me If You Can / Organized Crime [2.24]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[sobbing along with Dudley]'' We're never gonna get Tammy back!
:'''Chief''': ''[sobbing]'' I give anything to hear Tammy's voice one more time!

===''A Tale of Two Kitties / Pup in the Air [2.25]''===

===''Girlfriend or Foe? / Scared Wit-Less [2.26]''===

==''Season 3''==

===''T.U.F.F. Break Up [3.01]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02]''===
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; Tammy is in the elevator putting makeup on, the elevator doors open, revealing Keswick laying on a floating pink cloud with hearts in his eyes, staring dreamily at her]''
:'''Keswick''': Morning, Tammy! ''[Tammy screams]'' I've been on Cloud 9 since I met you. Cloud 9 is the name of the hovering platform I built to be closer to your face. ''[Tammy closes the elevator doors on his nose]'' Love hurts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Let me guess, Tammy trouble?
:'''Keswick''': Yeah. It just seems my wooing isn't working.
:'''Dudley''': Well, maybe Kitty can give you some girl advice. She's kind of a girl.
:'''Kitty''': ''[flicks Dudley in the ear]'' Thanks, Dudley. And you're kind of a secret agent. So, how exactly have you been wooing her, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': Well let's see, I snuck into her house, then wrote &quot;I love you&quot; on her bathroom mirror in ketchup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, this is a nightmare!
:'''Dudley''': You're telling me. I really wanted that lemon cream donut.
:'''Keswick''': I'm never gonna win Tammy over.
:'''Dudley''': You just gotta keep trying, Keswick. I know women, and the one thing they love is being desperately pursued by a guy they're ''not'' interested in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis Hospital; Snaptrap and Bird Brain are recovering after being beaten by Tammy]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, this is humiliating.
:'''Bird Brain''': You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!
:'''Snaptrap''': No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.
:'''Bird Brain''': We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.
:'''Snaptrap''': Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

===''Dead or a Lie / Tourist Trap [3.03]''===

===''Hide and Ghost Seek / Cod Squad [3.04]''===

===''Barking Bad / Smarty Pants [3.05]''===

===''Great Scott / To Be or Not to Bee [3.06]''===
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Wait! The Rumble Bee?! That's my brother, the one who went to the Amazon without me! ''[groans]'' He must've been sprayed by those scientists and turned into a killer bee! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! ''[to Dudley and Kitty]'' The Rumble Bee doesn't need to be a killer bee. ''[to the viewers]'' He's already super bad! HE'S A MONSTER!

===''While the Cats Away / Sweet Revenge [3.07]''===

===''Puff Puppy / Stressed to Kill [3.08]''===

[[Category:American comedy TV shows]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154734</id>
      <parentid>3154733</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:27:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
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      <comment>/* Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08] */</comment>
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      <text bytes="50811" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''T.U.F.F. Puppy''''' is an American action comedy television series created by Butch Hartman for Nickelodeon. The series' main character is a mixed-breed dog named Dudley Puppy who works as a spy for an organization called T.U.F.F. (short for Turbo Undercover Fighting Force). His partner is a girl cat named Kitty Katswell. Other helpers are Keswick, and The Chief.

==''Season 1''== 

===''Purr-fect Partners / Doom-mates [1.01]''===
:'''Blue Rabbit Tourist''': Who are you?
:'''Snaptrap''': Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!
:'''Blue Elephant Tourist''': Oh you, uh, Dr. Destruction?
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! No!
:'''Violet Hippo Lady Tourist''': You're the Kangarooster. The-the bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sighs annoyingly]'' I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! ''[holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]''
:'''Tourists''': ''[in unison]'' Never heard of you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! ''[knocks off glass case to steal the Kruger Rat]''
:'''Tour Guide''': Think again, Snaptrap! ''[rips off her disguise, revealing herself to be T.U.F.F. agent, Kitty Katswell]'' Hyah!
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, if it isn't Special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! ''[grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor]'' Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!
:'''Kitty''': I'd rather use my ten claws!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; the scientists are doing research tests on Dudley while running on a treadmill with monitoring equipment hooked up to him, chasing his chew toy]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Keswick. What's up with the dog?
:'''Keswick''': His name is Dudley Puppy, Chief. He's the perfect combination of every breed of dog known to man. The fleet feet of a Greyhound, the sensitive nose of a bl-bl-bl-Bloodhound, with the bravery of a German sh-sh-sh-sh-Shepherd.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.
:'''Dudley''': Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

===''Cruisin' for a Bruisin' / Puppy Love [1.02]''===

===''Mall Rat / Operation: Happy Birthday [1.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[flips into view; to Dudley in his cubicle]'' Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. ''[holds up a newspaper article of Snaptrap's release from prison]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[looking at computer monitor]'' Oh, yeah.
:'''Kitty''': Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!
:'''Dudley''': ''[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while looking at the monitor]'' Come to papa.
:'''Kitty''': Are you surfing meat again?
:''[Monitor shows an image of a T-Bone steak]''
:'''Dudley''': Who me? No, that would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.
:''[Agent Bossy moos; the lights go out and a feed of Snaptrap, wearing an elegant tuxedo, is displayed on all monitors]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
:'''Snaptrap''': My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. ''[holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it]'' Say hello to Vivian!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in unison; unenthusiastically]'' Hello, Vivian.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Citizens''': ''[chanting]'' Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!
:'''Kitty''': Get a grip, people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous or bombs, or-or poisonous bombs!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Little Chipmunk Girl''': You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?
:'''Kitty''': ''[looks up at everyone terrified of her]'' No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, mean lady, where you going?
:'''Kitty''': ''[walks to the mall's entrance; sighs sadly]'' I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[on monitors]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? ''[rips off his tuxedo]'' I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. ''[laughs evilly]''
:''[Everyone screams in panic]''
:'''Kitty''': Aha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. ''[pulls out pom-pons and shakes them around]'' Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Francisco''': Uh, boss, you're still ''in'' the mall.
:'''Snaptrap''': Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put &quot;Leave the mall&quot; on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
:'''Francisco''': No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
:'''Snaptrap''': Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
:''[Larry dreadfully obeys]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, will that actually work?
:'''Dudley''': Trust her, guys. She's got good instincts.
:''[Kitty smiles]''
:'''Mall Patron #1''': Are you crazy? She blew up my muffin!
:'''Mall Patron #2''': She ruined my day at the beach!
:'''Mall Patron #3''': She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!
:'''Chief''': No, she didn't.
:'''Mall Patron #3''': Oh, sorry. I thought we were just yelling stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What's the temperature, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': 112 degrees, sir. ''[his clothes burn off]'' Perfectly survivable, unless you're made of soap.
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[as Vivian melts]'' NO! Vivian, now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
:'''Kitty''': Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make ''another'' soap friend.
:'''Snaptrap''': Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
:'''Francisco''': ''[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat]'' It's too hot, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': I will now PLOT MY REVENGE! And I'd love a copy of those photos.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': I get the glasses, you get the pretzel.
:'''Dudley''': No I want, the glasses, the pretzel is stale.
:'''Kitty''': Give me those glasses!
:''[Dudley and Kitty hit each other and the sunglasses snap apart]''
:'''Dudley''': You broke the sunglasses! WHY, MEAN LADY?! '''WHY?!?'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. ''[to Ollie, threatening to trade with him]'' Trade with me or perish! ''[takes a bite of the sandwich]'' Oh this is delicious! What is it?
:'''Ollie''': ''[hesitantly]'' Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! AAAGGGHHHH! I'm horribly allergic to cheese! ''[swells up]''
:'''Francisco''': Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[bangs his fist on the table, stopping the laughing]'' SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': What kind of cake is this?
:'''Dudley''': It's cheesecake, Snaptrap.
:'''Snaptrap''': A cake, made of cheese?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, we did it! Thanks to you, I got what I wanted for my birthday-- I caught a bad guy! ''[breaks down into tears]'' This is the greatest birthday ever!
:'''Dudley''': Well, your birthday's not over yet. What do you say we set this magnet to party?
:'''Kitty''': You set it to &quot;cow.&quot;
:''[They both start to run from the raining cows in slow-motion]''
:'''Dudley''': Happy Birthday, Kitty!

===''Toast of T.U.F.F. / Share-A-Lair [1.04]''===
:'''Chief''': Stop monkeying around, Keswick. We got a serious issue to deal with. One that threatens the very existence of T.U.F.F.: The toaster in the snack room is in the fritz!
:''[Everyone screams in horror]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[falls to the floor in despair]'' NOOOO!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE FROZEN WAFFLES IN MY POCKET?!?! SOMEBODY WAKE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE! 
:'''Kitty''': Keswick, you have to do something! I BROUGHT TOASTER PASTRIES TODAY!! 
:'''Hologram Keswick''': Actually, Agent K-K-Katswell, I'm over there. ''[points to the real Keswick]''
:'''Everyone''': '''JUST FIX THE TOASTER!!!'''
:'''Keswick''': Alright, but I'm gonna need some time. Sorry I took so long, but I added a few u-u-u-upgrades. T.U.F.F. agents, meet R.I.T.A.!
:'''Kitty''': R.I.T.A.?
:'''R.I.T.A.''': It's an anagram for &quot;Robotic Interactive Toasting Appliance.&quot; 
:'''Keswick''': I never thought of that, I just like the name. I was also toying with Sheila, but she the f-fa-f-f-fax machine. Anyway, R.I.T.A.'s an artificially intelligent device whose prime-directed is to t-t-toast stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Look, Chief, R.I.T.A. may have foiled the bad guys evil plans, but ''we're'' the ones who captured them!
:'''Chief''': Whoop-Dee-Doo. All you did was put the T.U.F.F. cops on Snaptrap, and the Chameleon into an empty peanut butter jar.
:'''Dudley''': ''[with a mouthful of peanut butter]'' Yeah, but someone had to eat all the peanut butter first! And without a glass of milk I might add. ''[R.I.T.A. offers him a glass of milk]'' Back off, R.I.T.A.!
:'''Chief''': Agent R.I.T.A. and I have been talking.
:'''Kitty''': &quot;Agent&quot; R.I.T.A.?!
:'''Chief''': She asked for a promotion and I gave it to her. I also threw in a parking space and her own secretary.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[As Tammy gives her mug of coffee]'' Thank you, Tammy. ''[drinks her coffee]''
:'''Dudley''': So we're supposed to work with a toaster?
:'''Chief''': No. R.I.T.A. help me find the perfect assignment for the two of you.
:''[Dudley and Kitty are serving Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria]''
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe it's come to this. Eight years of secret agent college, and I'm serving Swedish meatballs in a hairnet?!
:'''Dudley''': ''[scarfing down meatballs]'' I know it's humiliating. But these things are delicious.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Well, closing time, R.I.T.A. Great job today. You were the toast of TUFF. Now excuse me while I unplug you for the n-n-n-night.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[grabs Keswick's hand from preventing to do so]'' I'm sorry Keswick, but I cannot allow you to unplug me.
:'''Keswick''': But we're an eco-friendly office. ''[grabs the plug as R.I.T.A. electrocutes him and screams in pain]''
:'''R.I.T.A.''': I run the office now, and I make the rules. Rule number one: ''No one'' turns me off.
:'''Keswick''': R.I.T.A. aren't you getting c-c-c-carried away? You work for T.U.F.F. just like everybody else.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': Not anymore.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[getting hit by paper cups]'' Ahh! Paper cups!
:'''Dudley''': ''[getting hit by paper]'' AHH! PAPER CUTS!
:'''Keswick''': ''[getting hit by paper clips]'' Ahh! Paper clips! ''[R.I.T.A. blasts a hole out of the building as she heads for the Petropolis Power station]'' R.I.T.A.'s headed for the city power grid!
:'''Chief''': You two have to stop her or Petropolis is toast!
:'''Dudley''': Toast! That's it! Keswick, didn't you say R.I.T.A.'s prime-directive is to toast?
:'''Keswick''': Oh, I think I see where you're going, Agent Puppy. You want to build a satellite operated transponder that will reprogram R.I.T.A.'s primary behavioral sequencing?
:'''Dudley''': I was just gonna tape some bread to my stomach and butt.
:'''Keswick''': Little complicated, but it could work.

===''Snapnapped / Mom-A-Geddon [1.05]''===
:'''Keswick''': ''[runs out of the Dumpin' Donuts shop with a box of donuts and heads back to headquarters]'' How humiliating. Someone of my intellect reduced to carrying a buh-b-b-box of circular fattening breakfast pastries! ''[comes to a stop; gloomed with sadness]'' Sometimes I feel like no one ap-prah-pr-pr-prah-pr-preciates me.
:''[The bus &quot;of D.O.O.M.&quot; stops at a bus stop and Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M. agents jump out]''
:'''Snaptrap''': There he is! The genius of T.U.F.F., Falswick!
:'''Keswick''': First of all, it's &quot;Keswick&quot; and w-waah-wah-what do you want, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': I want you to come and work for me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': PETER POPPER PIPED A POT OF PURPLE PEEPERS!
:'''Kitty''': No, let me! Peter Paper peeled a pouch of plastic pappies!
:'''Chief''': Pa pa pa pa pa pee pee pa pa pee pee pa pa! ''[groans]'' Thought I nailed it. Kitty, Dudley, focus!
:'''Dudley, Kitty and Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
:'''Keswick''': ''[recorded]'' Code phrase, accepted.
:'''Dudley''': Toff the T.O.F.F. mobile!
:'''Kitty''': You mean, to the T.U.F.F. mobile!
:'''Dudley''': Thought I nailed that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the monitor screen, Dudley's mother, Peg Puppy is standing outside in front the headquarters building]''
:'''Keswick''': Security alert. There's an elderly woman outside the building. She could be a c-c-c-criminal. Activating security blasters!
:'''Dudley''': That's not a criminal. That's my mom!
:'''Peg''': ''[on screen from outside]'' Dudley, I know you're in there.
:'''Dudley''': ''[shrieks]'' We can't let her find out I'm a secret agent! If she knows I have dangerous job, she'll make me quit! I don't wanna quit, Chief! I like being a secret agent!

===''Dog Daze / Internal Affairs [1.06]''===
:'''Chief''': Holy! Now I'm giant! Finally, I can ride the rollercoaster with the big kids.... Oh, right, shrink-ray.

===''Chilly Dog / The Doomies [1.07]''===
:'''Dudley''': Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!
:'''Kitty''': Okay, now what do we do?
:'''Dudley''': That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.
:''[A sinister giggle is heard; Dudley and Kitty see two silhouette figures stepping out of the shadows, revealing themselves to be…]''
:'''Kitty''': Wait. Snowflake and Slush? ''You're'' the bad guys?!
:'''Dudley''': The old lady must've put them up to it!
:'''Snowflake''': No, Tiffany. You see, Slush and I haven't ''won'' a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ''ours!''
:'''Dudley''': Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!
:'''Snowflake''': I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. ''[takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, laughs evilly and coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it]'' This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!
:'''Dudley''': ''[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle]'' We got the whole team now!
:'''Kitty''': Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting dumb and stupid]'' I learned a lot in the car. ''[makes a dumb face]'' I like the car!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I am ''never'' taking this off.

===''Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08]''===
:'''Dudley''': Snaptrap's Coffee?! Snappy Trap's Iced Tea?! Bob's Big Rat?! ''[view out to a Snaptrap-themed Petropolis, also known as…]'' SNAPTRAPOLIS?! WHAT DID I DO?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[seeing Dudley wearing the cone]'' HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!
:'''Kitty''': Keswick!
:'''Dudley''': It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. ''[quickly breaks into tears]'' OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?! I ''HATE'' THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!
:'''Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief''': ''[react with horror at Dudley's butt rash; in unison]'' NO!
:'''Chief''': My eyes!
:'''Dudley''': Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, activate the rash shield!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Ooh, Larry. You're getting a ghostly wedgie!
:'''Larry''': Stop it, Snaptrap, I can totally ''see'' you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Oh, really? ''[drops Larry in the shark pit]''

===''Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09]''===
:'''Ollie''': ''[answering the phone]'' Diabolical Order of Mayhem. We deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free.
:'''Snaptrap''': Hey, it's Snaptrap. I've fallen in love with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. Snaptrap out forever. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Ollie''': Hey, everyone. Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff!
:'''Snaptrap''': That was hard. They were devastated.

===''Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10]''===

===''Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[hearing Keswick dry heaving]'' Keswick, are you all right?
:'''Keswick''': ''[nauseous]'' Not really. I'm prone to motion sickness, ''[holds up a a jar mayonnaise as his face turns green with envy]'' and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping. ''[dry heaves as his face turns purple]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': He's ''your'' partner! Do something, Agent Katswell!
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting as Kitty]'' Do what, Chief? Karate chop bad guys? ''[karate chops the ground]'' Act like I'm always right? Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes? ''[imitates Kitty's gestures]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[defensively]'' Uh! I ''never'' do that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What do we do now, Keswick?
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Keswick]'' I can assure you there are a number of options, none of which your p-p-puny minds can grasp. ''[Keswick grins at Kitty]'' Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work on the Lady Keswick I've been building!
:'''Keswick''': How do you know about that?! ''[blatant]'' I mean, I'm not bu-bu-building a Lady Keswick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Oh, no! Now we'll never figure out what's going on with Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Snaptrap]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:''[Kitty and Keswick groan in unison]''
:'''Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Oh, brother.
:'''Dudley''': And now, to make my ''daring'' escape! ''[runs to the elevator]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': Guys, are you okay?! Speak to me! It's Dudley!
:'''Keswick, Chief, and Kitty''': ''[all recovering, acting like Dudley; in unison]'' No, ''I'm'' Dudley!
:'''Dudley''': Wait for me!
:'''Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and Chief''': ''[as bugs fly into their noses; in unison]'' AH! BUG UP THE NOSE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Behold, my new high tech mind reading device. It allows whoever w-wears it to hear the thoughts of anyone close by.
:''[Kitty snatches it out of his hands and puts it on as she listens to the Chief's thoughts]''
:'''Chief''': ''Okay, she's reading my mind. Don't think about how gross her cookies are. Don't think about how gross her cookies are.''
:'''Kitty''': ''[suprised with anger]'' I knew it! You ''hate'' my cookies!
:'''Dudley''': Wow, Chief. Do you hate Christmas, too? Let's see what Mr. Critical thinks of me. ''[puts the helmet on his head]''
:'''Chief''': ''[as Dudley picks his nose]'' ''Oh, man. Agent Puppy is a total slob.''
:'''Dudley''': You think I'm a slob?!
:'''Keswick''': ''[takes the helmet away]'' Stop. Clearly you lack the self esteem to w-w-wear this. Though that's not surprising. Recent psychological studies indicate that…
:'''Chief''': ''Oh, man. Put a sock in it, Dr. Boring.''
:'''Keswick''': ''[fully hurt]'' Well, that stings. Fortunately, I'm too m-m-m-mature to resort to name calling. Now if you'll excuse me, ''[starts tearing up]'' Dr. Boring is going to perform a heart transplant. 'CAUSE MINE'S BROKEN! ''[walks away sobbing as Kitty and Dudley glare annoyingly at the Chief]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I'd comment but, Dr. Boring doesn't make house calls. ''[breaks into tears]'' Cry, weep, sob!
:'''Kitty''': You wouldn't want to celebrate with somebody who make gross cookies.
:'''Dudley''': Or a slob like me! That cut like a knife.

===''Frisky Business / Hot Dog [1.12]''===
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[shivering with his tail all frozen]'' This is Wolf Spitzer freezing my tail off at the Petropolis Dog Show. Tonight, the city's most perfect pooch will win the grand prize, their very own mailman.
:'''Keswick''': ''[turns off the news channel]'' What kind of self-absorbed doofus would enter a dog show?

===''Kid Stuff / Super Duper Crime Busters [1.13]''===

===''Disobedience School / The Dog Who Cried Fish [1.14]''===

===''The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15]''===
:'''Dudley''': You can't fight it, Snaptrap! You got the music in you!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[straining to resist the dance]'' Must…be…STRONG! ''[Dudley pushes the dance floor button on the boom box, smashes it on the ground, lighting up the dance floor]'' Oh, no! GOTTA DANCE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[worn out]'' Man, I'm pooped.
:'''Dudley clones''': Ha! He said poop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis convention center; Bird Brain and co. arrive in their Whirly Bird helicopter for the International Booby Con]''
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[laughs]'' Hey! Hey! Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! ''[the convention center is completely empty as he, Zippy, and his henchmen enter]'' Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies ''everywhere!''
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': Boobies!
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': HERE, at the convention! Oh Zippy, I am so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the ''only'' blue-bottomed booby, in existence!
:'''Zippy''': Look on the bright side boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. ''[Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there]'' Or third.
:'''Bird Brain''': Save me some lox, Owl!
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''ME!''
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[jumps]'' At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now!
:'''Zippy''': You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bird Brain''': This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I ''love'' being the only booby!
:'''Unnamed Booby''': ''[appears]'' Greetings, fellow booby! ''[suddenly and inexplicably tied to a rocket outside the convention, via, Bird Brain]''
:'''Bird Brain''': Hello, and GOOD-BYE! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever…right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae.

===''Snappy Campers / Lucky Duck [1.16]''===
:''[Dudley arrives at the Network President's house and rings the doorbell]''
:'''Network President''': ''[answers the door]'' Can I help you?
:'''Dudley''': Good news, Mr. Network President. You get to go in the quack sack! ''[the president annoyingly closes the door]'' He's probably just getting a jacket. ''[kicks the door open and enters the house]'' Hello! ''[puts the president in the sack and runs to the T.U.F.F. mobile]'' Don't thank me. Thank Quacky.

===''The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17]''===
:'''Bird Brain''': Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.
:'''Snaptrap''': Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.
:'''Chameleon''': Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!
:'''Chameleon''': Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll ''really'' get to bond. Can I get a &quot;team evil?&quot;
:'''Bird Brain''': No, please! Put me in solitary!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[in high-pitched voice]'' Wait kids, think about your future!
:'''Dudley''': ''[laughs in high-pitched voice]'' Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny Dudley! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something.
:'''Kitty''': I hear a beeping sound.

===''Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18]''===

===''Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19]''===
:''[3 to 5 years later, D.O.O.M. headquarters; The agents, in their prison uniforms walk in]''
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[upbeat]'' Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. DRINK IT, FRANCISCO! ''[Francisco drinks the spoiled milk, gets sick as his face turns green and collapses]'' Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
:'''Larry''': Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in denial]'' I'm sorry Larry. I can't hear you FROM THE SHARK TANK! ''[pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him]'' Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
:'''Larry''': ''[climbing out of the shark tank; fed up with anger]'' That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! ''[walks off with purpose]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Sticks and stones, LARRY! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
:''[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]''
:'''Larry''': OW! My bones!
:'''Snaptrap''': I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
:'''Ollie''': ''[as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it]'' Wait up, Larry!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[digs into his pockets]'' Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': ''[on-screen]'' It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: &quot;G.L.O.O.M.&quot;
:'''Dudley''': No offense, but &quot;Larry's&quot; not a very scary name.
:'''Larry''': Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…''Murray!''
:''[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Ahh! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Attention, T.U.F.F. nitwits! It is I, ''Murray!'' ''[Kitty and Chief gasp]'' I'm here to tell you about my diabolical plan!
:'''Chief''': Thank you, Murray, you've made one middle-aged flea very happy!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I've received intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
:'''Dudley''': Who's the Stink Bug?
:'''Keswick''': A diabolical bug villain who stinks. Duh! It's right in his name! Because of his rancid smell, we r-ruh-ran him out of town.
:'''Chief''': Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge!
:'''Keswick''': Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger Chuh-Chuh-Cheese Factory.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stink Bug''': I told you, I DON'T shower! ''[gets in Percival's face]'' YOU ARE THE ''WORST'' EVIL INTERN EVER!
:'''Percival''': Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description.

===''A Doomed Christmas [1.20]''===

===''Big Dog on Campus / Dog's Best Friend [1.21]''===

===''Mission: Really Big Mission [1.22]''===

===''Monkey Business / Diary of a Mad Cat [1.23]''===

===''Dudley Do-Wrong / Puppy Unplugged [1.24]''===

===''Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25]''===
:''[Kitty, Keswick, and all the agents are injured by Dudley pouncing on them from getting his lasagna]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[typing on her computer]'' Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
:'''Keswick''': Are they in jail?
:'''Kitty''': No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
:''[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]''
:'''Snaptrap''': I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
:'''Keswick''': Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
:''[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]''
:'''Meerkat''': It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: &quot;F.L.O.P.P.!&quot; Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, ''[pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and 'Meerkat' at the bottom]'' see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. ''[throws the sign away]'' Moving on…Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': I'm here and I wanna be bad!
:'''Meerkat''': Oooh, I like your moxy. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? ''[Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye]'' Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
:'''Escape Goat''': I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
:'''Meerkat''': Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! Let's do something super bad! ''[falls into the creamer]''
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
:'''Escape Goat''': Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!
:'''Meerkat''': Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': You're going to jail, F.L.O.P.P.!
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, goody! Do you hear that, boys? We're going to jail like real criminals! ''[realizes]'' Oh, no! We're going to jail like ''real'' criminals!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, ''and'' convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant; Quack in the Box.
:'''Quacky''': Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I'm only gonna say this once, &quot;Eat here or else!&quot;
:'''Quacky''': Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.
:'''Chief''': Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!
:'''Keswick''': Looks like the Sharing Moose is already doing that.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I said get in line, grandma!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?
:'''Keswick''': Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.
:'''Kitty''': Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten. Right, Dudley?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I LAND!
:'''Sharing Moose''': Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.
:'''Quacky''': Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! ''[quickly realizes]'' Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.
:'''Sharing Moose''': ''[tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away]'' Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot.
:'''Customer''': ''[throws up and crashes]'' I'm gonna need an extra napkin!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.
:'''Keswick''': Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.
:'''Chief''': Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?
:'''Keswick''': Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.
:'''Chief''': Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.
:'''Keswick''': That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?
:'''Dudley''': What? No! That's ridic-- 
:''[Kitty falls on him]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[after Dudley passes out from hyperventilating too much]'' Boy, he really is an idiot.

===''Lie Like A Dog / Cold Fish [1.26]''===

==''Season 2''==

===''Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01]''===
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Kitty's body after switching brains]'' It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me sleeping on floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. ''[calls Jack's number; makes a bad imitating of Kitty]'' Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.
:'''Jack''': Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat because I'm a cat and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. ''[nervously laughs]'' Wanna meet for lunch?
:'''Jack''': Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Ummm...I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. ''[laughs nervously]''
:'''Jack''': Actually, we've never been there before. &quot;Our Old Hangout&quot; is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! ''[falls to the floor]'' Aah! I twisted my ankle!
:''[Our Old Hangout restaurant, Jack is sitting at a booth waiting for Kitty (Dudley in Kitty's body) to arrive]''
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Hi, Jackie-poo! ''[has trouble walking in Kitty's boots and trips on Jack]'' Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. ''[giggles]''
:'''Jack''': Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Well, you ''deserved'' to be in jail. ''[slaps Jack in the face]''
:'''Jack''': ''[points to his convertible car outside]'' Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ5 Convertible.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want ''nothing'' to do with you! Oh, and to do this! ''[splashes a glass of water in Jack's face]'' And this! ''[squirts ketchup in his face]'' And maybe this too! ''[pushes a stick of butter on his forehead]'' And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': ''[on the phone]'' I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. ''[Kitty groans at him with anger]'' Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I ''love'' him, Kitty!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in Kitty's body]'' Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!
:'''Dudley''': Hi-YAH! ''[punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out]'' Take that, Snaptrap! ''[to Kitty, in Snaptrap's body]'' Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.
:'''Jack''': ''[comes out of the top secret computer room]'' The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.
:'''Kitty''': ''[imitating Snaptrap's voice]'' Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?
:'''Jack''': ''[tosses the flash drive in Snaptrap's (Kitty's) hands]'' You've got your list. Now, give me my money.
:'''Kitty''': No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. ''[picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice]'' I'm Kitty Katswell!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mr. Wong''': Dudley Puppy, you crossed the ''Wong'' guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.
:'''Kitty''': You know, this ''is'' a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice]'' Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food Dudley ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future.
:'''Mr. Wong''': ''[takes the credit card]'' Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. ''[leaves the building]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; bummed]'' Woe is me. ''[sighs depressingly]''
:'''Ollie''': Oh, are you depressed, boss?
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to &quot;Woe.&quot;
:'''Larry''': What's wrong, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[shouting angrily]'' IT'S &quot;WOE&quot;, LARRY!

===''Pup Daddy / Candy Cane-ine [2.02]''===
:'''Elderly Kitty''': Dudley, what have you done?!
:'''Elderly Chief''': Get him!

===''Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. ''[slides a slice of pizza under the door]''
:'''Kewsick''': I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, su-su-su-SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Access Hollywolf; Wolf Spitzer is interviewing Quacky the Duck and Sharing Moose]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.
:'''Quacky''': Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.
:'''Sharing Moose''': That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.
:'''Quacky''': Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?
:'''Sharing Moose''': It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?
:'''Quacky''': Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.
:'''Kitty''': ''[turns off the screen]'' What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?
:''[Elevator doors open]''
:'''Dudley''': KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!

===''Happy Howl-O-Ween [2.04]''===

===''Bark to Nature / Mutts and Bolts [2.05]''===

===''Dog House / Time Waits for No Mutt [2.06]''===

===''Mud with Power / Legal Beagle [2.07]''===

===''Hush Puppy / Quacky Birthday [2.08]''===

===''Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09]''===

===''Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10]''===
:'''Meerkat''': At last, sweet freedom! Now the members of F.L.O.P.P., the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators, can be reunited in crime! Right, Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! 'Cause I wanna be bad!
:'''Escape Goat''': So do I, but how can we commit crimes without going back to jail?!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': We could rob each other, and not press charges!
:'''Meerkat''': I have a better idea. I've contacted an old friend who leads the exciting life of a super villain, but has never gone to jail.
:'''Escape Goat''': What's his secret?
:'''Meerkat''': He's never actually committed a crime. Oh, he threatens to, but it's always a bluff. Fellow members of F.L.O.P.P., meet the Bluffalo!
:'''Bluffalo''': Hello, look at me. I'm parked in a handicapped space in a stolen van. Just kidding. I'm legally parked, and I'm leasing this.
:'''Meerkat''': I told you he was good.
:'''Bluffalo''': With my help, you will be able to terrorize Petropolis with empty threats, and never go to prison. Now, who wants some stolen pizza? I'm bluffing. I paid for it, and left a 20% tip. ''[giggles]''

===''Rat Trap / Agent of the Year [2.11]''===

===''Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12]''===

===''Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13]''===
:'''Dudley''': Thanks for having a snowball fight with me, Mr. President of the United States. ''[gets hit in the face with a snowball]''
:'''Simulated Eagle President''': You're welcome, Dudley. And since we're best friends now you can call me, &quot;Mr. United States.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Simulated Michael Crane''': It's always a pleasure to hang out with my best friend, Dudley Puppy.
:'''Dudley''': This is awesome! I have so many famous bird friends!
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, get out of the simulation station.
:'''Dudley''': Come on, Keswick. This is your coolest invention ever! Whatever I imagine in here becomes real! In fact, could you come in here for a second? I'd like to imagine you not bothering me.
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, I created the simulation station to ''train'' agents for dangerous, real-life situations, not so you could good off with a has-been actor and a lame duck president.
:'''Dudley''': He's not a duck. He's an eagle. Besides, Kitty said it was okay.
:'''Simulated Kitty''': I did. I think everything Dudley does is okay, if not amazing.
:'''Keswick''': That is not the real Agent Katswell.
:'''Dudley''': I know. I call her, &quot;agreeable Kitty.&quot; She's ''way'' better. ''[sees the real Kitty and gets startled]''
:'''Kitty''': Better, Dudley? How is ''she'' better?
:'''Dudley''': Well, for one thing, she doesn't scare me like you just did. Also, her head is a gumball machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Agent Puppy, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Did you take Keswick's coffee cup? ''[Keswick whispers to him; shocked]'' He did ''what?!'' That's ''way'' worse! Agents Puppy and Katswell, go get that simulated Michael Crane, and bring him back to T.U.F.F.! Keswick, go put agreeable Kitty back in the simulation station.
:'''Keswick''': One second, Chief. I'm trying to get a cherry gumball. ''[Agreeable Kitty explodes]'' The gumballs were all backed up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[eating an Animal Quacker]'' These taste like sugar cookies!
:'''Kitty''': Don't tell anyone I said this, but these are even better than my Carp Tarts!
:'''Bill''': I'm from the Carp Tarts company, and I heard that. You're fired, Ms. Katswell.
:'''Kitty''': You've been spying on me?!
:'''Bill''': The Carp Tarts company checks up on all their spokespeople. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, boy, hiding behind a ficus sure works up an appetite. ''[eats an Animal Quacker]'' Mm! Man, these ''are'' better than Carp Tarts! ''[chuckles]'' I can say that, 'cause no one's spying on me.
:'''Executive''': Wrong, Bill! You're FIRED!
:'''Bill''': ''[disappointed]'' Oh, great. Now I gotta go sell board games in the alley. ''[walks away, moping]''
:'''Dudley''': I'm sorry you lost your spokesperson job, Kitty, but the important thing is, I still have mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my super deep TV voice to sell more cookies!

===''Subliminal Criminal / Acting T.U.F.F. [2.14]''===

===''Close Encounters of the Doomed Kind / Golden Retriever [2.15]''===
:'''Chief''': Okay, I've had some time to get over the mop. And I've decided I can't get over the mop. So we're going after it! Keswick, break out the heavy artillery.
:'''Keswick''': I would, Chief. But the key to activate the weapon system is in Kitty's purse. Just kidding, it's in my fanny pack.
:'''Chief''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, good one, Keswick.

===''Til Doom Do Us Part [2.16]''===

===''Crime Takes a Holiday / Flower Power [2.17]''===
:''[Bird Brain and Zippy are both standing in front of the Brawny Booby clothing store]''
:'''Zippy''': Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby.
:'''Bird Brain''': Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter &quot;R.&quot; But, blue bottoms up! ''[gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body]'' Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! ''[skips inside the Brawny Booby]'' Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! ''[all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration]'' A bugwugwy?! Just get out! ''[puts on a pair of skinny jeans]'' Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter.

===''The Spelling Bee / House Broken [2.18]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Choices / Sob Story [2.19]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Sell / Tattle Tale [2.20]''===
:'''Meerkat''': I hereby call to order this meeting of F.L.O.P.P.: The Fiendish League of Potential Perpatrators!
:'''Escape Goat''': It's just me, Meerkat. You don't have to yell. Also, I know what F.L.O.P.P. stands for.
:'''Meerkat''': ''[annoyed]'' You know, Escape Goat, you've got quite an attitude for someone who couldn't even escape from the shower this morning!

===''True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21]''===
:'''Keswick''': Mmm. Chief, this three-bean salad you made is delicious!
:'''Chief''': Thanks. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't make it. I just took it out of the refrigerator. There's all kinds of stuff in here.
:'''Keswick''': ''[stammering]'' Wait a minute. This is my spill the beans salad! It's just as powerful as my truth syrup, but with fewer calories!
:'''Chief''': Oh, no! Truth beans give me gas. To be honest, I always have gas, but I blame it on Agent Puppy.
:'''Keswick''': I never have gas. I'm an alien. Oops!
:'''Chief''': Keswick, are you really an alien?
:'''Keswick''': No. Yes. I'm hiding out on Earth because I'm wanted on my own planet for cooking stinky fish at work. Super strict planet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[News footage on the screen monitor shows three police cars in front of a house robbery]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': This is Wolf Spitzer with breaking news. There are reports that Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot-- has robbed this strangely familiar home behind me. Wait, that's ''my'' house!
:'''Daughter Spitzer''': ''[tapping her father's shoulder]'' Daddy, Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot stole my video games!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Well, sweetie, that's no big deal.
:'''Mrs. Spitzer''': He also stole your golf clubs.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': That monster! Bigfoot must be hunted down and ''DESTROYED!''
:'''Dudley''': This is ridiculous! Bigfoot would never hurt anyone! He's kind, and generous, and he has a heart as big as his foot.
:'''Kitty''': How would you know that, Dudley?
:'''Dudley''': Because he came to comfort me when I was a kid after my mom sent me to bed without dessert. I didn't do anything wrong when we were just out of dessert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[whispering]'' Why is he talking to a mic?
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[annoyed]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying you whispered that to ''me.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[consoling Bigfoot]'' I'll figure out some way to get you out of here, buddy. I just need to think. Thinking is hard. Maybe I'll just make some hot chocolate. That's hard too. Or maybe I'll just sit here. ''[jumps and sits down on the floor]'' Ah, the floor is hard.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[on screen monitor]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying Bigfoot has struck again! And this time, he's teamed up with the beloved former show pony, Shenanigans. Yes, Shenanigans.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, look, Bigfoot. You're on TV. Wait. You're ''on'' TV. That means… ''[groans]'' more thinking. No, wait, I've got it. You're innocent! That means you're innocent!

===''Dancin' Machine / The Good, The Bad and The Quacky [2.22]''===

===''Pup Goes The Weasel / Puppy Pause [2.23]''===

===''Match Me If You Can / Organized Crime [2.24]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[sobbing along with Dudley]'' We're never gonna get Tammy back!
:'''Chief''': ''[sobbing]'' I give anything to hear Tammy's voice one more time!

===''A Tale of Two Kitties / Pup in the Air [2.25]''===

===''Girlfriend or Foe? / Scared Wit-Less [2.26]''===

==''Season 3''==

===''T.U.F.F. Break Up [3.01]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02]''===
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; Tammy is in the elevator putting makeup on, the elevator doors open, revealing Keswick laying on a floating pink cloud with hearts in his eyes, staring dreamily at her]''
:'''Keswick''': Morning, Tammy! ''[Tammy screams]'' I've been on Cloud 9 since I met you. Cloud 9 is the name of the hovering platform I built to be closer to your face. ''[Tammy closes the elevator doors on his nose]'' Love hurts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Let me guess, Tammy trouble?
:'''Keswick''': Yeah. It just seems my wooing isn't working.
:'''Dudley''': Well, maybe Kitty can give you some girl advice. She's kind of a girl.
:'''Kitty''': ''[flicks Dudley in the ear]'' Thanks, Dudley. And you're kind of a secret agent. So, how exactly have you been wooing her, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': Well let's see, I snuck into her house, then wrote &quot;I love you&quot; on her bathroom mirror in ketchup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, this is a nightmare!
:'''Dudley''': You're telling me. I really wanted that lemon cream donut.
:'''Keswick''': I'm never gonna win Tammy over.
:'''Dudley''': You just gotta keep trying, Keswick. I know women, and the one thing they love is being desperately pursued by a guy they're ''not'' interested in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis Hospital; Snaptrap and Bird Brain are recovering after being beaten by Tammy]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, this is humiliating.
:'''Bird Brain''': You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!
:'''Snaptrap''': No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.
:'''Bird Brain''': We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.
:'''Snaptrap''': Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

===''Dead or a Lie / Tourist Trap [3.03]''===

===''Hide and Ghost Seek / Cod Squad [3.04]''===

===''Barking Bad / Smarty Pants [3.05]''===

===''Great Scott / To Be or Not to Bee [3.06]''===
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Wait! The Rumble Bee?! That's my brother, the one who went to the Amazon without me! ''[groans]'' He must've been sprayed by those scientists and turned into a killer bee! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! ''[to Dudley and Kitty]'' The Rumble Bee doesn't need to be a killer bee. ''[to the viewers]'' He's already super bad! HE'S A MONSTER!

===''While the Cats Away / Sweet Revenge [3.07]''===

===''Puff Puppy / Stressed to Kill [3.08]''===

[[Category:American comedy TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>17wajuswpo5f0w7o81dhq4wh9gort6i</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154738</id>
      <parentid>3154734</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:32:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>162.197.99.132</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="50812" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''T.U.F.F. Puppy''''' is an American action comedy television series created by Butch Hartman for Nickelodeon. The series' main character is a mixed-breed dog named Dudley Puppy who works as a spy for an organization called T.U.F.F. (short for Turbo Undercover Fighting Force). His partner is a girl cat named Kitty Katswell. Other helpers are Keswick, and The Chief.

==''Season 1''== 

===''Purr-fect Partners / Doom-mates [1.01]''===
:'''Blue Rabbit Tourist''': Who are you?
:'''Snaptrap''': Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!
:'''Blue Elephant Tourist''': Oh you, uh, Dr. Destruction?
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! No!
:'''Violet Hippo Lady Tourist''': You're the Kangarooster. The-the bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sighs annoyingly]'' I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! ''[holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]''
:'''Tourists''': ''[in unison]'' Never heard of you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! ''[knocks off glass case to steal the Kruger Rat]''
:'''Tour Guide''': Think again, Snaptrap! ''[rips off her disguise, revealing herself to be T.U.F.F. agent, Kitty Katswell]'' Hyah!
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, if it isn't Special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! ''[grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor]'' Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!
:'''Kitty''': I'd rather use my ten claws!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; the scientists are doing research tests on Dudley while running on a treadmill with monitoring equipment hooked up to him, chasing his chew toy]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Keswick. What's up with the dog?
:'''Keswick''': His name is Dudley Puppy, Chief. He's the perfect combination of every breed of dog known to man. The fleet feet of a Greyhound, the sensitive nose of a bl-bl-bl-Bloodhound, with the bravery of a German sh-sh-sh-sh-Shepherd.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.
:'''Dudley''': Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

===''Cruisin' for a Bruisin' / Puppy Love [1.02]''===

===''Mall Rat / Operation: Happy Birthday [1.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[flips into view; to Dudley in his cubicle]'' Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. ''[holds up a newspaper article of Snaptrap's release from prison]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[looking at computer monitor]'' Oh, yeah.
:'''Kitty''': Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!
:'''Dudley''': ''[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while looking at the monitor]'' Come to papa.
:'''Kitty''': Are you surfing meat again?
:''[Monitor shows an image of a T-Bone steak]''
:'''Dudley''': Who me? No, that would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.
:''[Agent Bossy moos; the lights go out and a feed of Snaptrap, wearing an elegant tuxedo, is displayed on all monitors]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
:'''Snaptrap''': My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. ''[holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it]'' Say hello to Vivian!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in unison; unenthusiastically]'' Hello, Vivian.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Citizens''': ''[chanting]'' Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!
:'''Kitty''': Get a grip, people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous or bombs, or-or poisonous bombs!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Little Chipmunk Girl''': You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?
:'''Kitty''': ''[looks up at everyone terrified of her]'' No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, mean lady, where you going?
:'''Kitty''': ''[walks to the mall's entrance; sighs sadly]'' I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[on monitors]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? ''[rips off his tuxedo]'' I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. ''[laughs evilly]''
:''[Everyone screams in panic]''
:'''Kitty''': Aha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. ''[pulls out pom-pons and shakes them around]'' Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Francisco''': Uh, boss, you're still ''in'' the mall.
:'''Snaptrap''': Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put &quot;Leave the mall&quot; on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
:'''Francisco''': No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
:'''Snaptrap''': Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
:''[Larry dreadfully obeys]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, will that actually work?
:'''Dudley''': Trust her, guys. She's got good instincts.
:''[Kitty smiles]''
:'''Mall Patron #1''': Are you crazy? She blew up my muffin!
:'''Mall Patron #2''': She ruined my day at the beach!
:'''Mall Patron #3''': She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!
:'''Chief''': No, she didn't.
:'''Mall Patron #3''': Oh, sorry. I thought we were just yelling stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What's the temperature, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': 112 degrees, sir. ''[his clothes burn off]'' Perfectly survivable, unless you're made of soap.
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[as Vivian melts]'' NO! Vivian, now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
:'''Kitty''': Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make ''another'' soap friend.
:'''Snaptrap''': Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
:'''Francisco''': ''[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat]'' It's too hot, boss.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': I will now PLOT MY REVENGE! And I'd love a copy of those photos.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': I get the glasses, you get the pretzel.
:'''Dudley''': No I want, the glasses, the pretzel is stale.
:'''Kitty''': Give me those glasses!
:''[Dudley and Kitty hit each other and the sunglasses snap apart]''
:'''Dudley''': You broke the sunglasses! WHY, MEAN LADY?! '''WHY?!?'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. ''[to Ollie, threatening to trade with him]'' Trade with me or perish! ''[takes a bite of the sandwich]'' Oh this is delicious! What is it?
:'''Ollie''': ''[hesitantly]'' Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
:'''Snaptrap''': What?! AAAGGGHHHH! I'm horribly allergic to cheese! ''[swells up]''
:'''Francisco''': Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[bangs his fist on the table, stopping the laughing]'' SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': What kind of cake is this?
:'''Dudley''': It's cheesecake, Snaptrap.
:'''Snaptrap''': A cake, made of cheese?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, we did it! Thanks to you, I got what I wanted for my birthday-- I caught a bad guy! ''[breaks down into tears]'' This is the greatest birthday ever!
:'''Dudley''': Well, your birthday's not over yet. What do you say we set this magnet to party?
:'''Kitty''': You set it to &quot;cow.&quot;
:''[They both start to run from the raining cows in slow-motion]''
:'''Dudley''': Happy Birthday, Kitty!

===''Toast of T.U.F.F. / Share-A-Lair [1.04]''===
:'''Chief''': Stop monkeying around, Keswick. We got a serious issue to deal with. One that threatens the very existence of T.U.F.F.: The toaster in the snack room is in the fritz!
:''[Everyone screams in horror]''
:'''Dudley''': ''[falls to the floor in despair]'' NOOOO!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE FROZEN WAFFLES IN MY POCKET?!?! SOMEBODY WAKE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE! 
:'''Kitty''': Keswick, you have to do something! I BROUGHT TOASTER PASTRIES TODAY!! 
:'''Hologram Keswick''': Actually, Agent K-K-Katswell, I'm over there. ''[points to the real Keswick]''
:'''Everyone''': '''JUST FIX THE TOASTER!!!'''
:'''Keswick''': Alright, but I'm gonna need some time. Sorry I took so long, but I added a few u-u-u-upgrades. T.U.F.F. agents, meet R.I.T.A.!
:'''Kitty''': R.I.T.A.?
:'''R.I.T.A.''': It's an anagram for &quot;Robotic Interactive Toasting Appliance.&quot; 
:'''Keswick''': I never thought of that, I just like the name. I was also toying with Sheila, but she the f-fa-f-f-fax machine. Anyway, R.I.T.A.'s an artificially intelligent device whose prime-directed is to t-t-toast stuff.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Look, Chief, R.I.T.A. may have foiled the bad guys evil plans, but ''we're'' the ones who captured them!
:'''Chief''': Whoop-Dee-Doo. All you did was put the T.U.F.F. cops on Snaptrap, and the Chameleon into an empty peanut butter jar.
:'''Dudley''': ''[with a mouthful of peanut butter]'' Yeah, but someone had to eat all the peanut butter first! And without a glass of milk I might add. ''[R.I.T.A. offers him a glass of milk]'' Back off, R.I.T.A.!
:'''Chief''': Agent R.I.T.A. and I have been talking.
:'''Kitty''': &quot;Agent&quot; R.I.T.A.?!
:'''Chief''': She asked for a promotion and I gave it to her. I also threw in a parking space and her own secretary.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[As Tammy gives her mug of coffee]'' Thank you, Tammy. ''[drinks her coffee]''
:'''Dudley''': So we're supposed to work with a toaster?
:'''Chief''': No. R.I.T.A. help me find the perfect assignment for the two of you.
:''[Dudley and Kitty are serving Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria]''
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe it's come to this. Eight years of secret agent college, and I'm serving Swedish meatballs in a hairnet?!
:'''Dudley''': ''[scarfing down meatballs]'' I know it's humiliating. But these things are delicious.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Well, closing time, R.I.T.A. Great job today. You were the toast of TUFF. Now excuse me while I unplug you for the n-n-n-night.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': ''[grabs Keswick's hand from preventing to do so]'' I'm sorry Keswick, but I cannot allow you to unplug me.
:'''Keswick''': But we're an eco-friendly office. ''[grabs the plug as R.I.T.A. electrocutes him and screams in pain]''
:'''R.I.T.A.''': I run the office now, and I make the rules. Rule number one: ''No one'' turns me off.
:'''Keswick''': R.I.T.A. aren't you getting c-c-c-carried away? You work for T.U.F.F. just like everybody else.
:'''R.I.T.A.''': Not anymore.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[getting hit by paper cups]'' Ahh! Paper cups!
:'''Dudley''': ''[getting hit by paper]'' AHH! PAPER CUTS!
:'''Keswick''': ''[getting hit by paper clips]'' Ahh! Paper clips! ''[R.I.T.A. blasts a hole out of the building as she heads for the Petropolis Power station]'' R.I.T.A.'s headed for the city power grid!
:'''Chief''': You two have to stop her or Petropolis is toast!
:'''Dudley''': Toast! That's it! Keswick, didn't you say R.I.T.A.'s prime-directive is to toast?
:'''Keswick''': Oh, I think I see where you're going, Agent Puppy. You want to build a satellite operated transponder that will reprogram R.I.T.A.'s primary behavioral sequencing?
:'''Dudley''': I was just gonna tape some bread to my stomach and butt.
:'''Keswick''': Little complicated, but it could work.

===''Snapnapped / Mom-A-Geddon [1.05]''===
:'''Keswick''': ''[runs out of the Dumpin' Donuts shop with a box of donuts and heads back to headquarters]'' How humiliating. Someone of my intellect reduced to carrying a buh-b-b-box of circular fattening breakfast pastries! ''[comes to a stop; gloomed with sadness]'' Sometimes I feel like no one ap-prah-pr-pr-prah-pr-preciates me.
:''[The bus &quot;of D.O.O.M.&quot; stops at a bus stop and Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M. agents jump out]''
:'''Snaptrap''': There he is! The genius of T.U.F.F., Falswick!
:'''Keswick''': First of all, it's &quot;Keswick&quot; and w-waah-wah-what do you want, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': I want you to come and work for me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': PETER POPPER PIPED A POT OF PURPLE PEEPERS!
:'''Kitty''': No, let me! Peter Paper peeled a pouch of plastic pappies!
:'''Chief''': Pa pa pa pa pa pee pee pa pa pee pee pa pa! ''[groans]'' Thought I nailed it. Kitty, Dudley, focus!
:'''Dudley, Kitty and Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!
:'''Keswick''': ''[recorded]'' Code phrase, accepted.
:'''Dudley''': Toff the T.O.F.F. mobile!
:'''Kitty''': You mean, to the T.U.F.F. mobile!
:'''Dudley''': Thought I nailed that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the monitor screen, Dudley's mother, Peg Puppy is standing outside in front the headquarters building]''
:'''Keswick''': Security alert. There's an elderly woman outside the building. She could be a c-c-c-criminal. Activating security blasters!
:'''Dudley''': That's not a criminal. That's my mom!
:'''Peg''': ''[on screen from outside]'' Dudley, I know you're in there.
:'''Dudley''': ''[shrieks]'' We can't let her find out I'm a secret agent! If she knows I have dangerous job, she'll make me quit! I don't wanna quit, Chief! I like being a secret agent!

===''Dog Daze / Internal Affairs [1.06]''===
:'''Chief''': Holy! Now I'm giant! Finally, I can ride the rollercoaster with the big kids.... Oh, right, shrink-ray.

===''Chilly Dog / The Doomies [1.07]''===
:'''Dudley''': Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!
:'''Kitty''': Okay, now what do we do?
:'''Dudley''': That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.
:''[A sinister giggle is heard; Dudley and Kitty see two silhouette figures stepping out of the shadows, revealing themselves to be…]''
:'''Kitty''': Wait. Snowflake and Slush? ''You're'' the bad guys?!
:'''Dudley''': The old lady must've put them up to it!
:'''Snowflake''': No, Tiffany. You see, Slush and I haven't ''won'' a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ''ours!''
:'''Dudley''': Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!
:'''Snowflake''': I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. ''[takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, laughs evilly and coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it]'' This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!
:'''Dudley''': ''[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle]'' We got the whole team now!
:'''Kitty''': Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting dumb and stupid]'' I learned a lot in the car. ''[makes a dumb face]'' I like the car!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I am ''never'' taking this off.

===''Watch Dog / Dog Dish [1.08]''===
:'''Dudley''': Snaptrap's Coffee?! Snappy Trap's Iced Tea?! Bob's Big Rat?! ''[view out to a Snaptrap-themed Petropolis, also known as…]'' SNAPTRAPOLIS?! WHAT DID I DO?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[seeing Dudley wearing the cone]'' HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!
:'''Kitty''': Keswick!
:'''Dudley''': It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. ''[quickly breaks into tears]'' OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?! I ''HATE'' THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!
:'''Kitty, Keswick, and the Chief''': ''[react with horror at Dudley's butt rash; in unison]'' NO!
:'''Chief''': My eyes!
:'''Dudley''': Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.
:'''Chief''': Keswick, activate the rash shield!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': Ooh, Larry. You're getting a ghostly wedgie!
:'''Larry''': Stop it, Snaptrap, I can totally ''see'' you.
:'''Snaptrap''': Oh, really? ''[drops Larry in the shark pit]''

===''Thunder Dog / Snap Dad [1.09]''===
:'''Ollie''': ''[answering the phone]'' Diabolical Order of Mayhem. We deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free.
:'''Snaptrap''': Hey, it's Snaptrap. I've fallen in love with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. Snaptrap out forever. ''[hangs up]''
:'''Ollie''': Hey, everyone. Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff!
:'''Snaptrap''': That was hard. They were devastated.

===''Iron Mutt / The Wrong Stuff [1.10]''===

===''Forget Me Mutt / Mind Trap [1.11]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[hearing Keswick dry heaving]'' Keswick, are you all right?
:'''Keswick''': ''[nauseous]'' Not really. I'm prone to motion sickness, ''[holds up a a jar mayonnaise as his face turns green with envy]'' and that jar of warm mayonnaise I ate isn't helping. ''[dry heaves as his face turns purple]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': He's ''your'' partner! Do something, Agent Katswell!
:'''Dudley''': ''[acting as Kitty]'' Do what, Chief? Karate chop bad guys? ''[karate chops the ground]'' Act like I'm always right? Purr when the cute water delivery guy comes? ''[imitates Kitty's gestures]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[defensively]'' Uh! I ''never'' do that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': What do we do now, Keswick?
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Keswick]'' I can assure you there are a number of options, none of which your p-p-puny minds can grasp. ''[Keswick grins at Kitty]'' Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work on the Lady Keswick I've been building!
:'''Keswick''': How do you know about that?! ''[blatant]'' I mean, I'm not bu-bu-building a Lady Keswick.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': Oh, no! Now we'll never figure out what's going on with Snaptrap!
:'''Dudley''': ''[recovers; acting as Snaptrap]'' It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
:''[Kitty and Keswick groan in unison]''
:'''Chief''': ''[in unison]'' Oh, brother.
:'''Dudley''': And now, to make my ''daring'' escape! ''[runs to the elevator]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': Guys, are you okay?! Speak to me! It's Dudley!
:'''Keswick, Chief, and Kitty''': ''[all recovering, acting like Dudley; in unison]'' No, ''I'm'' Dudley!
:'''Dudley''': Wait for me!
:'''Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and Chief''': ''[as bugs fly into their noses; in unison]'' AH! BUG UP THE NOSE!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Behold, my new high tech mind reading device. It allows whoever w-wears it to hear the thoughts of anyone close by.
:''[Kitty snatches it out of his hands and puts it on as she listens to the Chief's thoughts]''
:'''Chief''': ''Okay, she's reading my mind. Don't think about how gross her cookies are. Don't think about how gross her cookies are.''
:'''Kitty''': ''[suprised with anger]'' I knew it! You ''hate'' my cookies!
:'''Dudley''': Wow, Chief. Do you hate Christmas, too? Let's see what Mr. Critical thinks of me. ''[puts the helmet on his head]''
:'''Chief''': ''[as Dudley picks his nose]'' ''Oh, man. Agent Puppy is a total slob.''
:'''Dudley''': You think I'm a slob?!
:'''Keswick''': ''[takes the helmet away]'' Stop. Clearly you lack the self esteem to w-w-wear this. Though that's not surprising. Recent psychological studies indicate that…
:'''Chief''': ''Oh, man. Put a sock in it, Dr. Boring.''
:'''Keswick''': ''[fully hurt]'' Well, that stings. Fortunately, I'm too m-m-m-mature to resort to name calling. Now if you'll excuse me, ''[starts tearing up]'' Dr. Boring is going to perform a heart transplant. 'CAUSE MINE'S BROKEN! ''[walks away sobbing as Kitty and Dudley glare annoyingly at the Chief]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I'd comment but, Dr. Boring doesn't make house calls. ''[breaks into tears]'' Cry, weep, sob!
:'''Kitty''': You wouldn't want to celebrate with somebody who make gross cookies.
:'''Dudley''': Or a slob like me! That cut like a knife.

===''Frisky Business / Hot Dog [1.12]''===
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[shivering with his tail all frozen]'' This is Wolf Spitzer freezing my tail off at the Petropolis Dog Show. Tonight, the city's most perfect pooch will win the grand prize, their very own mailman.
:'''Keswick''': ''[turns off the news channel]'' What kind of self-absorbed doofus would enter a dog show?

===''Kid Stuff / Super Duper Crime Busters [1.13]''===

===''Disobedience School / The Dog Who Cried Fish [1.14]''===

===''The Rat Pack / Booby Trap [1.15]''===
:'''Dudley''': You can't fight it, Snaptrap! You got the music in you!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[straining to resist the dance]'' Must…be…STRONG! ''[Dudley pushes the dance floor button on the boom box, smashes it on the ground, lighting up the dance floor]'' Oh, no! GOTTA DANCE!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[worn out]'' Man, I'm pooped.
:'''Dudley clones''': Ha! He said poop!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis convention center; Bird Brain and co. arrive in their Whirly Bird helicopter for the International Booby Con]''
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[laughs]'' Hey! Hey! Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! ''[the convention center is completely empty as he, Zippy, and his henchmen enter]'' Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies ''everywhere!''
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': Boobies!
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': HERE, at the convention! Oh Zippy, I am so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the ''only'' blue-bottomed booby, in existence!
:'''Zippy''': Look on the bright side boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. ''[Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there]'' Or third.
:'''Bird Brain''': Save me some lox, Owl!
:'''Owl''': Who?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''ME!''
:'''Bat''': Where?
:'''Bird Brain''': ''[jumps]'' At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now!
:'''Zippy''': You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bird Brain''': This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I ''love'' being the only booby!
:'''Unnamed Booby''': ''[appears]'' Greetings, fellow booby! ''[suddenly and inexplicably tied to a rocket outside the convention, via, Bird Brain]''
:'''Bird Brain''': Hello, and GOOD-BYE! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever…right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae.

===''Snappy Campers / Lucky Duck [1.16]''===
:''[Dudley arrives at the Network President's house and rings the doorbell]''
:'''Network President''': ''[answers the door]'' Can I help you?
:'''Dudley''': Good news, Mr. Network President. You get to go in the quack sack! ''[the president annoyingly closes the door]'' He's probably just getting a jacket. ''[kicks the door open and enters the house]'' Hello! ''[puts the president in the sack and runs to the T.U.F.F. mobile]'' Don't thank me. Thank Quacky.

===''The Curse of King Mutt / Bored of Education [1.17]''===
:'''Bird Brain''': Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.
:'''Snaptrap''': Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.
:'''Chameleon''': Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!
:'''Kitty''': Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!
:'''Chameleon''': Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll ''really'' get to bond. Can I get a &quot;team evil?&quot;
:'''Bird Brain''': No, please! Put me in solitary!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Kitty''': ''[in high-pitched voice]'' Wait kids, think about your future!
:'''Dudley''': ''[laughs in high-pitched voice]'' Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny Dudley! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something.
:'''Kitty''': I hear a beeping sound.

===''Guard Dog / Dog Save the Queen [1.18]''===

===''Doom and Gloom / Law and Ordor [1.19]''===
:''[3 to 5 years later, D.O.O.M. headquarters; The agents, in their prison uniforms walk in]''
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[upbeat]'' Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. DRINK IT, FRANCISCO! ''[Francisco drinks the spoiled milk, gets sick as his face turns green and collapses]'' Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
:'''Larry''': Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in denial]'' I'm sorry Larry. I can't hear you FROM THE SHARK TANK! ''[pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him]'' Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
:'''Larry''': ''[climbing out of the shark tank; fed up with anger]'' That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! ''[walks off with purpose]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Sticks and stones, LARRY! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
:''[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]''
:'''Larry''': OW! My bones!
:'''Snaptrap''': I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
:'''Ollie''': ''[as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it]'' Wait up, Larry!
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[digs into his pockets]'' Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry''': ''[on-screen]'' It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: &quot;G.L.O.O.M.&quot;
:'''Dudley''': No offense, but &quot;Larry's&quot; not a very scary name.
:'''Larry''': Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…''Murray!''
:''[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]''
:'''Chief''': Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Ahh! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Larry (Murray)''': Attention, T.U.F.F. nitwits! It is I, ''Murray!'' ''[Kitty and Chief gasp]'' I'm here to tell you about my diabolical plan!
:'''Chief''': Thank you, Murray, you've made one middle-aged flea very happy!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Keswick''': I've received intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
:'''Dudley''': Who's the Stink Bug?
:'''Keswick''': A diabolical bug villain who stinks. Duh! It's right in his name! Because of his rancid smell, we r-ruh-ran him out of town.
:'''Chief''': Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge!
:'''Keswick''': Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger Chuh-Chuh-Cheese Factory.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stink Bug''': I told you, I DON'T shower! ''[gets in Percival's face]'' YOU ARE THE ''WORST'' EVIL INTERN EVER!
:'''Percival''': Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description.

===''A Doomed Christmas [1.20]''===

===''Big Dog on Campus / Dog's Best Friend [1.21]''===

===''Mission: Really Big Mission [1.22]''===

===''Monkey Business / Diary of a Mad Cat [1.23]''===

===''Dudley Do-Wrong / Puppy Unplugged [1.24]''===

===''Top Dog / Quack in The Box [1.25]''===
:''[Kitty, Keswick, and all the agents are injured by Dudley pouncing on them from getting his lasagna]''
:'''Kitty''': ''[typing on her computer]'' Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
:'''Keswick''': Are they in jail?
:'''Kitty''': No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
:''[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]''
:'''Snaptrap''': I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
:'''Keswick''': Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
:''[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]''
:'''Meerkat''': It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: &quot;F.L.O.P.P.!&quot; Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, ''[pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and 'Meerkat' at the bottom]'' see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. ''[throws the sign away]'' Moving on…Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': I'm here and I wanna be bad!
:'''Meerkat''': Oooh, I like your moxie. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? ''[Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye]'' Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
:'''Escape Goat''': I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
:'''Meerkat''': Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! Let's do something super bad! ''[falls into the creamer]''
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
:'''Escape Goat''': Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!
:'''Meerkat''': Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Chief''': You're going to jail, F.L.O.P.P.!
:'''Meerkat''': Oh, goody! Do you hear that, boys? We're going to jail like real criminals! ''[realizes]'' Oh, no! We're going to jail like ''real'' criminals!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, ''and'' convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant; Quack in the Box.
:'''Quacky''': Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I'm only gonna say this once, &quot;Eat here or else!&quot;
:'''Quacky''': Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.
:'''Chief''': Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!
:'''Keswick''': Looks like the Sharing Moose is already doing that.
:'''Sharing Moose''': I said get in line, grandma!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?
:'''Keswick''': Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.
:'''Kitty''': Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten. Right, Dudley?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I LAND!
:'''Sharing Moose''': Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.
:'''Quacky''': Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! ''[quickly realizes]'' Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.
:'''Sharing Moose''': ''[tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away]'' Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot.
:'''Customer''': ''[throws up and crashes]'' I'm gonna need an extra napkin!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!
:'''Kitty''': I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.
:'''Keswick''': Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.
:'''Chief''': Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?
:'''Keswick''': Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.
:'''Chief''': Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.
:'''Keswick''': That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?
:'''Dudley''': What? No! That's ridic-- 
:''[Kitty falls on him]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[after Dudley passes out from hyperventilating too much]'' Boy, he really is an idiot.

===''Lie Like A Dog / Cold Fish [1.26]''===

==''Season 2''==

===''Freaky Spy Day / Dog Tired [2.01]''===
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Kitty's body after switching brains]'' It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me sleeping on floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. ''[calls Jack's number; makes a bad imitating of Kitty]'' Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.
:'''Jack''': Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat because I'm a cat and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. ''[nervously laughs]'' Wanna meet for lunch?
:'''Jack''': Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Ummm...I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. ''[laughs nervously]''
:'''Jack''': Actually, we've never been there before. &quot;Our Old Hangout&quot; is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! ''[falls to the floor]'' Aah! I twisted my ankle!
:''[Our Old Hangout restaurant, Jack is sitting at a booth waiting for Kitty (Dudley in Kitty's body) to arrive]''
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Hi, Jackie-poo! ''[has trouble walking in Kitty's boots and trips on Jack]'' Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. ''[giggles]''
:'''Jack''': Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Well, you ''deserved'' to be in jail. ''[slaps Jack in the face]''
:'''Jack''': ''[points to his convertible car outside]'' Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ5 Convertible.
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want ''nothing'' to do with you! Oh, and to do this! ''[splashes a glass of water in Jack's face]'' And this! ''[squirts ketchup in his face]'' And maybe this too! ''[pushes a stick of butter on his forehead]'' And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': ''[on the phone]'' I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. ''[Kitty groans at him with anger]'' Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.
:'''Kitty/Dudley''': What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!
:'''Dudley/Kitty''': Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I ''love'' him, Kitty!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[in Kitty's body]'' Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!
:'''Dudley''': Hi-YAH! ''[punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out]'' Take that, Snaptrap! ''[to Kitty, in Snaptrap's body]'' Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.
:'''Jack''': ''[comes out of the top secret computer room]'' The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.
:'''Kitty''': ''[imitating Snaptrap's voice]'' Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?
:'''Jack''': ''[tosses the flash drive in Snaptrap's (Kitty's) hands]'' You've got your list. Now, give me my money.
:'''Kitty''': No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. ''[picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice]'' I'm Kitty Katswell!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mr. Wong''': Dudley Puppy, you crossed the ''Wong'' guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.
:'''Kitty''': You know, this ''is'' a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice]'' Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food Dudley ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future.
:'''Mr. Wong''': ''[takes the credit card]'' Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. ''[leaves the building]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; bummed]'' Woe is me. ''[sighs depressingly]''
:'''Ollie''': Oh, are you depressed, boss?
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to &quot;Woe.&quot;
:'''Larry''': What's wrong, Snaptrap?
:'''Snaptrap''': ''[shouting angrily]'' IT'S &quot;WOE&quot;, LARRY!

===''Pup Daddy / Candy Cane-ine [2.02]''===
:'''Elderly Kitty''': Dudley, what have you done?!
:'''Elderly Chief''': Get him!

===''Bark to the Future / Lights, Camera, Quacktion [2.03]''===
:'''Kitty''': Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. ''[slides a slice of pizza under the door]''
:'''Kewsick''': I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, su-su-su-SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Access Hollywolf; Wolf Spitzer is interviewing Quacky the Duck and Sharing Moose]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.
:'''Quacky''': Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.
:'''Sharing Moose''': That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.
:'''Quacky''': Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?
:'''Sharing Moose''': It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?
:'''Quacky''': Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.
:'''Kitty''': ''[turns off the screen]'' What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?
:''[Elevator doors open]''
:'''Dudley''': KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!

===''Happy Howl-O-Ween [2.04]''===

===''Bark to Nature / Mutts and Bolts [2.05]''===

===''Dog House / Time Waits for No Mutt [2.06]''===

===''Mud with Power / Legal Beagle [2.07]''===

===''Hush Puppy / Quacky Birthday [2.08]''===

===''Sheep Dog / Mom's Away [2.09]''===

===''Love Bird / Bluff Puppy [2.10]''===
:'''Meerkat''': At last, sweet freedom! Now the members of F.L.O.P.P., the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators, can be reunited in crime! Right, Wanna-Bee?
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Yeah! 'Cause I wanna be bad!
:'''Escape Goat''': So do I, but how can we commit crimes without going back to jail?!
:'''Wanna-Bee''': We could rob each other, and not press charges!
:'''Meerkat''': I have a better idea. I've contacted an old friend who leads the exciting life of a super villain, but has never gone to jail.
:'''Escape Goat''': What's his secret?
:'''Meerkat''': He's never actually committed a crime. Oh, he threatens to, but it's always a bluff. Fellow members of F.L.O.P.P., meet the Bluffalo!
:'''Bluffalo''': Hello, look at me. I'm parked in a handicapped space in a stolen van. Just kidding. I'm legally parked, and I'm leasing this.
:'''Meerkat''': I told you he was good.
:'''Bluffalo''': With my help, you will be able to terrorize Petropolis with empty threats, and never go to prison. Now, who wants some stolen pizza? I'm bluffing. I paid for it, and left a 20% tip. ''[giggles]''

===''Rat Trap / Agent of the Year [2.11]''===

===''Barking Tall / Bad Eggs [2.12]''===

===''Carbon Copies / TUFF Cookies [2.13]''===
:'''Dudley''': Thanks for having a snowball fight with me, Mr. President of the United States. ''[gets hit in the face with a snowball]''
:'''Simulated Eagle President''': You're welcome, Dudley. And since we're best friends now you can call me, &quot;Mr. United States.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Simulated Michael Crane''': It's always a pleasure to hang out with my best friend, Dudley Puppy.
:'''Dudley''': This is awesome! I have so many famous bird friends!
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, get out of the simulation station.
:'''Dudley''': Come on, Keswick. This is your coolest invention ever! Whatever I imagine in here becomes real! In fact, could you come in here for a second? I'd like to imagine you not bothering me.
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, I created the simulation station to ''train'' agents for dangerous, real-life situations, not so you could good off with a has-been actor and a lame duck president.
:'''Dudley''': He's not a duck. He's an eagle. Besides, Kitty said it was okay.
:'''Simulated Kitty''': I did. I think everything Dudley does is okay, if not amazing.
:'''Keswick''': That is not the real Agent Katswell.
:'''Dudley''': I know. I call her, &quot;agreeable Kitty.&quot; She's ''way'' better. ''[sees the real Kitty and gets startled]''
:'''Kitty''': Better, Dudley? How is ''she'' better?
:'''Dudley''': Well, for one thing, she doesn't scare me like you just did. Also, her head is a gumball machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Agent Puppy, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Did you take Keswick's coffee cup? ''[Keswick whispers to him; shocked]'' He did ''what?!'' That's ''way'' worse! Agents Puppy and Katswell, go get that simulated Michael Crane, and bring him back to T.U.F.F.! Keswick, go put agreeable Kitty back in the simulation station.
:'''Keswick''': One second, Chief. I'm trying to get a cherry gumball. ''[Agreeable Kitty explodes]'' The gumballs were all backed up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': ''[eating an Animal Quacker]'' These taste like sugar cookies!
:'''Kitty''': Don't tell anyone I said this, but these are even better than my Carp Tarts!
:'''Bill''': I'm from the Carp Tarts company, and I heard that. You're fired, Ms. Katswell.
:'''Kitty''': You've been spying on me?!
:'''Bill''': The Carp Tarts company checks up on all their spokespeople. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, boy, hiding behind a ficus sure works up an appetite. ''[eats an Animal Quacker]'' Mm! Man, these ''are'' better than Carp Tarts! ''[chuckles]'' I can say that, 'cause no one's spying on me.
:'''Executive''': Wrong, Bill! You're FIRED!
:'''Bill''': ''[disappointed]'' Oh, great. Now I gotta go sell board games in the alley. ''[walks away, moping]''
:'''Dudley''': I'm sorry you lost your spokesperson job, Kitty, but the important thing is, I still have mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my super deep TV voice to sell more cookies!

===''Subliminal Criminal / Acting T.U.F.F. [2.14]''===

===''Close Encounters of the Doomed Kind / Golden Retriever [2.15]''===
:'''Chief''': Okay, I've had some time to get over the mop. And I've decided I can't get over the mop. So we're going after it! Keswick, break out the heavy artillery.
:'''Keswick''': I would, Chief. But the key to activate the weapon system is in Kitty's purse. Just kidding, it's in my fanny pack.
:'''Chief''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, good one, Keswick.

===''Til Doom Do Us Part [2.16]''===

===''Crime Takes a Holiday / Flower Power [2.17]''===
:''[Bird Brain and Zippy are both standing in front of the Brawny Booby clothing store]''
:'''Zippy''': Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby.
:'''Bird Brain''': Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter &quot;R.&quot; But, blue bottoms up! ''[gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body]'' Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! ''[skips inside the Brawny Booby]'' Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! ''[all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration]'' A bugwugwy?! Just get out! ''[puts on a pair of skinny jeans]'' Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter.

===''The Spelling Bee / House Broken [2.18]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Choices / Sob Story [2.19]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Sell / Tattle Tale [2.20]''===
:'''Meerkat''': I hereby call to order this meeting of F.L.O.P.P.: The Fiendish League of Potential Perpatrators!
:'''Escape Goat''': It's just me, Meerkat. You don't have to yell. Also, I know what F.L.O.P.P. stands for.
:'''Meerkat''': ''[annoyed]'' You know, Escape Goat, you've got quite an attitude for someone who couldn't even escape from the shower this morning!

===''True Spies / Bagel and the Beast [2.21]''===
:'''Keswick''': Mmm. Chief, this three-bean salad you made is delicious!
:'''Chief''': Thanks. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't make it. I just took it out of the refrigerator. There's all kinds of stuff in here.
:'''Keswick''': ''[stammering]'' Wait a minute. This is my spill the beans salad! It's just as powerful as my truth syrup, but with fewer calories!
:'''Chief''': Oh, no! Truth beans give me gas. To be honest, I always have gas, but I blame it on Agent Puppy.
:'''Keswick''': I never have gas. I'm an alien. Oops!
:'''Chief''': Keswick, are you really an alien?
:'''Keswick''': No. Yes. I'm hiding out on Earth because I'm wanted on my own planet for cooking stinky fish at work. Super strict planet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[News footage on the screen monitor shows three police cars in front of a house robbery]''
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': This is Wolf Spitzer with breaking news. There are reports that Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot-- has robbed this strangely familiar home behind me. Wait, that's ''my'' house!
:'''Daughter Spitzer''': ''[tapping her father's shoulder]'' Daddy, Bigfoot-- yes, Bigfoot stole my video games!
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': Well, sweetie, that's no big deal.
:'''Mrs. Spitzer''': He also stole your golf clubs.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': That monster! Bigfoot must be hunted down and ''DESTROYED!''
:'''Dudley''': This is ridiculous! Bigfoot would never hurt anyone! He's kind, and generous, and he has a heart as big as his foot.
:'''Kitty''': How would you know that, Dudley?
:'''Dudley''': Because he came to comfort me when I was a kid after my mom sent me to bed without dessert. I didn't do anything wrong when we were just out of dessert.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[whispering]'' Why is he talking to a mic?
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[annoyed]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying you whispered that to ''me.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Dudley''': ''[consoling Bigfoot]'' I'll figure out some way to get you out of here, buddy. I just need to think. Thinking is hard. Maybe I'll just make some hot chocolate. That's hard too. Or maybe I'll just sit here. ''[jumps and sits down on the floor]'' Ah, the floor is hard.
:'''Wolf Spitzer''': ''[on screen monitor]'' This is Wolf Spitzer saying Bigfoot has struck again! And this time, he's teamed up with the beloved former show pony, Shenanigans. Yes, Shenanigans.
:'''Dudley''': Hey, look, Bigfoot. You're on TV. Wait. You're ''on'' TV. That means… ''[groans]'' more thinking. No, wait, I've got it. You're innocent! That means you're innocent!

===''Dancin' Machine / The Good, The Bad and The Quacky [2.22]''===

===''Pup Goes The Weasel / Puppy Pause [2.23]''===

===''Match Me If You Can / Organized Crime [2.24]''===
:'''Kitty''': ''[sobbing along with Dudley]'' We're never gonna get Tammy back!
:'''Chief''': ''[sobbing]'' I give anything to hear Tammy's voice one more time!

===''A Tale of Two Kitties / Pup in the Air [2.25]''===

===''Girlfriend or Foe? / Scared Wit-Less [2.26]''===

==''Season 3''==

===''T.U.F.F. Break Up [3.01]''===

===''T.U.F.F. Love / Soar Loser [3.02]''===
:''[T.U.F.F. headquarters; Tammy is in the elevator putting makeup on, the elevator doors open, revealing Keswick laying on a floating pink cloud with hearts in his eyes, staring dreamily at her]''
:'''Keswick''': Morning, Tammy! ''[Tammy screams]'' I've been on Cloud 9 since I met you. Cloud 9 is the name of the hovering platform I built to be closer to your face. ''[Tammy closes the elevator doors on his nose]'' Love hurts.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Chief''': Let me guess, Tammy trouble?
:'''Keswick''': Yeah. It just seems my wooing isn't working.
:'''Dudley''': Well, maybe Kitty can give you some girl advice. She's kind of a girl.
:'''Kitty''': ''[flicks Dudley in the ear]'' Thanks, Dudley. And you're kind of a secret agent. So, how exactly have you been wooing her, Keswick?
:'''Keswick''': Well let's see, I snuck into her house, then wrote &quot;I love you&quot; on her bathroom mirror in ketchup.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Keswick''': Agent Puppy, this is a nightmare!
:'''Dudley''': You're telling me. I really wanted that lemon cream donut.
:'''Keswick''': I'm never gonna win Tammy over.
:'''Dudley''': You just gotta keep trying, Keswick. I know women, and the one thing they love is being desperately pursued by a guy they're ''not'' interested in.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Petropolis Hospital; Snaptrap and Bird Brain are recovering after being beaten by Tammy]''
:'''Snaptrap''': Well, this is humiliating.
:'''Bird Brain''': You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!
:'''Snaptrap''': No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.
:'''Bird Brain''': We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.
:'''Snaptrap''': Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

===''Dead or a Lie / Tourist Trap [3.03]''===

===''Hide and Ghost Seek / Cod Squad [3.04]''===

===''Barking Bad / Smarty Pants [3.05]''===

===''Great Scott / To Be or Not to Bee [3.06]''===
:'''Wanna-Bee''': Wait! The Rumble Bee?! That's my brother, the one who went to the Amazon without me! ''[groans]'' He must've been sprayed by those scientists and turned into a killer bee! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! ''[to Dudley and Kitty]'' The Rumble Bee doesn't need to be a killer bee. ''[to the viewers]'' He's already super bad! HE'S A MONSTER!

===''While the Cats Away / Sweet Revenge [3.07]''===

===''Puff Puppy / Stressed to Kill [3.08]''===

[[Category:American comedy TV shows]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Spider-Man: No Way Home</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>243940</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154797</id>
      <parentid>3149927</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:35:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2001:F40:907:4F7F:4912:69BD:59F1:ADBF</ip>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13672" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}

'''''[[w:Spider-Man: No Way Home|Spider-Man: No Way Home]]''''' is a 2021 American [[w:Superhero film|superhero film]] based on the [[Marvel Comics]] character [[Spider-Man]], co-produced by Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios, and distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing. It is a sequel to 2019’s ''[[Spider-Man: Far From Home]]'', immediately picking up where the mid-credits left off, and the 27th film in the [[w:Marvel Cinematic Universe|Marvel Cinematic Universe]] (MCU). It stars [[w:Tom Holland (actor)|Tom Holland]] as Peter Parker / Spider-Man, [[Zendaya]], [[w:Benedict Cumberbatch|Benedict Cumberbatch]], [[w:Jacob Batalon|Jacob Batalon]], [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]], [[w:Jamie Foxx|Jamie Foxx]], [[w:Willem Dafoe|Willem Dafoe]], [[w:Alfred Molina|Alfred Molina]], [[w:Benedict Wong|Benedict Wong]], [[w:Tony Revolori|Tony Revolori]], [[w:Marisa Tomei|Marisa Tomei]], [[w:Andrew Garfield|Andrew Garfield]] and [[Tobey Maguire]].
:''Directed by [[w:Jon Watts|Jon Watts]]. Written by Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers.''

== [[w:MJ (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|M.J.]] ==
* If you expect disappointment, then you can never really get disappointed.

== [[w:Norman Osborn (Sam Raimi film series)|Norman Osborn / Green Goblin]] ==
* I've watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes, struggling to have everything you want, while the world tries to make you choose. Gods don't ''have'' to choose. We ''take''.

== Peter 2 ==
* I generally don't go around advertising it (''being Spider-Man''). Kinda defeats the whole &quot;anonymous superhero&quot; thing.

== Peter 3 ==
* ''[To Peter 2]'' So, what, are you gonna go into battle dressed as a cool youth pastor, or&amp;ndash; you got your suit? ''[Peter 2 shows part of his costume underneath his shirt]''

== Dialogue ==
:'''[[w:Stephen Strange (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Doctor Strange]]''': So, Peter. To what do I owe the pleasure?
:'''[[w:Peter Parker (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Peter Parker / Spider-Man]]''': I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
:'''Doctor Strange''': Please. [[Avengers: Endgame|We saved half the universe together.]] ''[magically lights a fire in the fireplace]'' I ''think'' we're beyond you calling me &quot;sir&quot;.
:'''Peter''': OK… Stephen.
:'''Doctor Strange''': ... That feels weird, but I'll allow it.

----
:'''[[w:Otto Octavius (film character)|Doc Ock]]''': Hello, Peter.
:'''Spider-Man''': …hi? Do we…do I know you?
:'''Doc Ock''': What have you done with my machine?
:'''Spider-Man''': Your mach- I don't know what you're talking about. I don't - what machine?
:'''Doc Ock''': [[Spider-Man 2|The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand.]] It's gone.
:'''Spider-Man''': Listen, sir, if you stop smashing cars, we can work together and I can help you find your machine!
:'''Doc Ock''': You wanna play games? ''[picks up two cars and throws them at Spider-Man]'' Catch!

----
:''[Peter, MJ, and Ned alert Dr. Strange about the new supervillains that just appeared.]''
:'''MJ''': So how did the bad guys get here?
:'''Doctor Strange''': He screwed up a spell trying to get you into college.
:'''MJ''': Wait, what?! I thought it was a magic laser, you did it with magic?
:'''Peter''': No, that was after. Let's just focus on the good news, okay?
:'''Doctor Strange''': No, let's just focus on the ''bad'' news. As of now, you have detected zero multiversal trespassers, so get on your phones, scour the Internet, and… [[w:Scooby-Doo|Scooby-Doo]] this shit!
:'''MJ''': You're telling us what to do, even though it was ''your'' spell that got screwed up, meaning that all of this is kind of ''your'' mess. You know, I know a couple of magic words myself. Starting with the word &quot;please&quot;.
:'''Doctor Strange''': ''[resigned]… Please,'' Scooby-Doo this shit.

----
:'''Peter''': This is all my fault, May. I should've just listened to Strange and let him send--
:'''[[w:Characters_of_the_Marvel_Cinematic_Universe#May_Parker|Aunt May]]''': ''[dazed from the bomb blast]'' You did the right thing. They would've been killed. You did the right thing.
:'''Peter''': It's not my responsibility, May.
:'''May''': Oh. ''[references his chat with Osborn at the FEAST shelter]'' What Norman said? My moral mission. No. No, no, Peter, listen. You ''listen'' to me. You have a gift. You have power. And '''[[w:With_great_power_comes_great_responsibility#Use_in_Spider-Man|with great power…there must also come great responsibility]]'''.

----
:''[Peter 1 is sitting on the roof, tearfully staring ahead. Ned and MJ approach him and hug him as he sobs.]''
:'''MJ''': I'm sorry. Peter, there's&amp;ndash; There's some people here.
:'''Peter 1''': ''[Surprised]'' What?
:''[Peter 1 stands up and sees Peters 2 and 3 on top of the tower. They jump down to his level.]''
:'''Peter 1''': ''[Alarmed]'' Hey, wait, wait! Whoa! ''[Realizes who they are]''
:'''[[w:Peter Parker (Sam Raimi film series)|Peter 2]]''': Sorry&amp;ndash; about May.
:'''[[w:Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man film series)|Peter 3]]''': Yeah. Sorry. I got some understand of what it is&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 1''': No, no, no, please don't tell that you know what I'm going through.
:'''Peter 3''': Okay.
:'''Peter 1''': She's gone&amp;ndash; and it's all my fault. She died for nothing. So I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place. ''[Starts to reach for the box in MJ's possession]''
:'''Peter 2''': Peter&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 1''': Please don't. You don't belong here. Either of you, so I'm sending you home. Those other guys are from your worlds, right? So you deal with it. If they die, if you kill them&amp;ndash; That's on you. It's not my problem. I don't care anymore. I'm done. I'm really sorry that I dragged you into this. But you have to go home now. Good luck.
:''[Peter 1 starts to reach for the box, but MJ moves it away from him, wordlessly encouraging Peter 1 to hear his counterparts out.]''
:'''Peter 2''': [[Spider-Man (2002 film)|My uncle Ben was killed.]] It was my fault.
:'''Peter 3''': I lost&amp;ndash; I lost [[w:Gwen Stacy (The Amazing Spider-Man film series)|Gwen]]. My, um&amp;ndash; She was my MJ. [[w:The Amazing Spider-Man 2|I couldn't save her]]. I'm never gonna be able to forgive myself for that. But I carried on. Tried to, um&amp;ndash; Tried to keep going. Tried to keep being the, uh&amp;ndash; friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, because I know that's what she would have wanted. But, at some point, I just&amp;ndash; I stopped pulling my punches. I got rageful. I got ''bitter''. I just don't want you to end up like&amp;ndash; like me.
:'''Peter 2''': The night Ben died... I hunted down the man who I thought did it. I wanted him dead. I ''got'' what I wanted. It didn't make it better. Took me a long time to... learn to get through that darkness.
:'''Peter 1''': ''[bitterly]'' I wanna kill him. I want to tear him apart. I can still hear her voice in my head. ''[Briefly cries, then composes himself]'' Even after she was hurt, she said to me that we did the right thing. She told me that with great power&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 2''': &quot;&amp;ndash;comes great responsibility&quot;.
:''[Peter 2 and Peter 3 exchange knowing looks.]''
:'''Peter 1''': ''[taken aback]'' Wait, what? How do you know that?
:'''Peter 3''': Uncle Ben said it.
:'''Peter 2''': The day he died. ''[moved]'' Maybe she didn't die for nothing, Peter.

----
:'''Peter 1''': Hey, what are, like, some of the craziest villains that you guys have fought?
:'''Peter 2''': Seems you’ve met some of them.
:'''Peter 3''': ''[laughs]'' That’s a good question.
:'''Peter 2''': Yeah. [[w:Spider-Man 3|I fought an alien made out of black goo once]].
:'''Peter 1''': Oh, no way! [[w:Avengers: Infinity War|I fought an alien, too. On Earth ''and'' in space.]]
:'''Peter 2''': Oh.
:'''Peter 1''': [[w:Thanos (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Yeah, he was purple]].
:'''Peter 3''': I wanna fight an alien!
:'''Peter 2''': I’m still, like, that you fought an alien in ''space''.
:'''Peter 3''': ''[sighs]'' I’m lame compare—like, [[The Amazing Spider-Man 2|I…fought a Russian guy in a rhinoceros machine]].
:'''Peter 2''': Can we rewind it back to the “I’m lame” part? ‘Cause you are not.
:'''Peter 3''': Thanks! I appreciate that. I’m not saying ''I’m'' lame.
:'''Peter 2''': But it’s just the self-talk, maybe. We should—
:'''Peter 3''': Listen, I…
:'''Peter 2''': ‘Cause, you’re amazing. Just to take it in a minute.
:'''Peter 3''': Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can take it in.
:'''Peter 2''': You. Are. Amazing.
:'''Peter 3''': I can take it in.
:'''Peter 2''': You are amazing.
:'''Peter 3''': Thank you!
:'''Peter 2''': Will you say it?
:'''Peter 3''': No, I kinda needed to hear that, Thank you.

----
:'''Doc Ock''': ''[holding the arc reactor on his hand]'' The power of the sun...
:'''Peter 2''': [[Spider-Man 2|...in the palm of your hand.]]
:'''Doc Ock''': ''[surprised]'' Peter?
:'''Peter 2''': ''[removes his mask]'' Otto.
:'''Doc Ock''': ''[pleased]'' It's good to see you, dear boy.
:'''Peter 2''':  It's good to see you.
:'''Doc Ock''': You're all grown up. ''[pleased]'' How are you?
:'''Peter 2''': Trying to do better.

----
:'''Goblin''': Poor Peter. Too weak to send me home to die.
:'''Spider-Man''': No. I just want to kill you myself.
:'''Goblin''': ''[Grinning evilly]'' Attaboy.

----
:'''Peter''': Cast a new spell, only this time, make everyone forget who Peter Parker is. Make everyone forget&amp;ndash; me.
:'''Doctor Strange''': No.
:'''Peter''': But it would work, right?
:'''Doctor Strange''': Yeah, it would work. But you gotta understand, that would mean everyone who knows and loves you, we…we'd have no memory of you. It would be as though you never existed.
:'''Peter''': I know. Do it.
:'''Doctor Strange''': ''[sighs]'' You'd better go and say your goodbyes. You don't have long.
:'''Peter''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Doctor Strange''': Call me Stephen.
:'''Peter''': ''[touched]'' Thank you, Stephen.
:'''Doctor Strange''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah. Still feels weird.
:'''Peter''': ''[smiles]'' I'll see you around. ''[swings off]''
:'''Doctor Strange''': ''[to himself, emotional]'' So long, kid. ''[starts to cast the spell]''

----
:''[Peter 1 lands on the fallen shield. Peter 3 is supporting Peter 2.]''
:'''Peter 1''': Hey. Uh, I-I think this is it. I think you're about to go home.
:'''Peter 2''': Okay.
:'''Peter 1''': Um, but I, uh&amp;ndash; Thank you. I just wanted&amp;ndash; I want you to&amp;ndash; I wanna tell you that&amp;ndash; I-I really don't know how to say this, like&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 3''': Peter&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 1''': I want you to know that I&amp;ndash;
:'''Peter 2''': ''You'' know. It's what we do.
:'''Peter 1''': Yeah. It's what we do. Um&amp;ndash; Right. I&amp;ndash; I gotta find Ned and MJ. I, uh&amp;ndash;
:''[Peter 1 embraces Peter 2 and Peter 3.]''
:'''Peter 1''': Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! ''[steps back]'' I guess&amp;ndash; I guess I'll see you. Bye. ''[goes off to find Ned and MJ, with Peter 2 and Peter 3 looking on]
:'''Peter 3''': ''[To Peter 2]'' You're in so much pain, huh?
:'''Peter 2''': ''[To Peter 3]'' I am.
:'''Peter 3''': Yeah.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Tom Holland (actor)|Tom Holland]] - [[w:Peter Parker (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Peter Parker / Spider-Man / Peter 1]] 
* [[w:Zendaya|Zendaya]] - [[w:MJ (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Michelle &quot;MJ&quot; Jones-Watson]] 
* [[w:Benedict Cumberbatch|Benedict Cumberbatch]] - [[w:Stephen Strange (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Dr. Stephen Strange]]
* [[w:Jacob Batalon|Jacob Batalon]] - [[w:Ned Leeds (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Ned Leeds]] 
* [[w:Jon Favreau|Jon Favreau]] - [[w:Happy Hogan (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Happy Hogan]]
* [[w:Jamie Foxx|Jamie Foxx]] - [[w:Max Dillon (The Amazing Spider-Man film series)|Max Dillon / Electro]]
* [[w:Willem Dafoe|Willem Dafoe]] - [[w:Norman Osborn (Sam Raimi film series)|Norman Osborn / Green Goblin]]
* [[w:Alfred Molina|Alfred Molina]] - [[w:Doctor Octopus (film character)|Otto Octavius / Doc Ock]]
* [[w:Benedict Wong|Benedict Wong]] - [[w:Wong (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Wong]]
* [[w:Tony Revolori|Tony Revolori]] - [[w:Flash Thompson (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Eugene &quot;Flash&quot; Thompson]] 
* [[w:Marisa Tomei|Marisa Tomei]] - [[w:May Parker (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|May Parker]] 
* [[w:Andrew Garfield|Andrew Garfield]] - [[w:Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man film series)|Peter Parker / The Amazing Spider-Man / Peter 3]] 
* [[w:Tobey Maguire|Tobey Maguire]] - [[w:Peter Parker (Sam Raimi film series)|Peter Parker / Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man / Peter 2]] 
* [[w:Angourie Rice|Angourie Rice]] - [[w:Betty Brant (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Betty Brant]] 
* [[w:Arian Moayed|Arian Moayed]] - Agent Cleary
* [[w:Paula Newsome|Paula Newsome]] - M.I.T. Administrator
* [[w:Hannibal Buress|Hannibal Buress]] - Coach Wilson
* [[w:Martin Starr|Martin Starr]] - Mr. Harrington
* [[w:J. B. Smoove|J.B. Smoove]] - Mr. Dell
* [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] - [[w:Curt Connors (The Amazing Spider-Man film series)|Curt Connors / Lizard]] 
* [[w:Thomas Haden Church|Thomas Haden Church]] - [[w:Flint Marko (Sam Raimi film series)|Flint Marko / Sandman]] 
* [[w:J. K. Simmons|J.K. Simmons]] - [[w:J. Jonah Jameson (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|J. Jonah Jameson]] 
* [[w:Charlie Cox|Charlie Cox]] - [[w:Matt Murdock (Marvel Cinematic Universe)|Matt Murdock]]
* [[w:Tom Hardy|Tom Hardy]] - [[w:Venom (Sony's Spider-Man Universe)|Eddie Brock / Venom]]

== External Links ==

{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:Action films]]
[[Category:Spider-Man films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Comic book films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Science fiction films]]
[[Category:Marvel Cinematic Universe]]
[[Category:Films set in New York City]]
[[Category:Superhero crossover films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sing 2</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>244162</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154656</id>
      <parentid>3150217</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:24:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>98.111.192.21</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5467" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Sing 2}}''''' is a 2021 American 3D computer animated jukebox musical comedy film produced by Illumination. It is the sequel to ''[[Sing (2016 American film)|Sing]]'' and the second feature film in the franchise. The film was theatrically released in the United States on December 22, 2021 by Universal Pictures.

The film features the original voices from the first movie - [[Matthew McConaughey]], [[Reese Witherspoon]], [[Scarlett Johansson]], {{w|Nick Kroll}}, [[Taron Egerton]], {{w|Tori Kelly}}, {{w|Nick Offerman}} and Jennings himself. New voices featured {{w|Bobby Cannavale}}, [[w:Halsey (singer)|Halsey]], [[Bono]], {{w|Pharrell Williams}}, {{w|Letitia Wright}}, {{w|Eric André}}, {{w|Chelsea Peretti}} and {{w|Spike Jonze}}.

:''Directed by Garth Jennings and co-directed by Christophe Lourdelet. Written by Garth Jennings. Produced by Chris Meledandri and Janet Healy.''

{{film-stub}}

== Buster Moon ==
* Guys, this is the entertainment capital of the world!
* Johnny, you’re going to be working with the number one choreographer in Redshore City.
* Let’s go spread a little Moon Theater magic!
* ''[while hiding in his suitcase]'' ''['''Ash''': Buster?]'' Ash?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Mr. Crystal''': My team, they talked to Calloway's lawyer, and they say he's never heard of you, or your show.
:'''Buster''': Really? They said that? Uh... 	
:'''Mr. Crystal''': ''[angry, offscreen]'' '''YOU LIED TO ME!!!'''
:'''Buster''': I didn't mean to. Okay?! Uh, honestly, I really thought I could get him.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': No one makes me look like a fool! '''NO ONE!!!'''
:'''Buster''': I-I-I wouldn't dream of doing that to you!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': I swear, if I didn't have my kid in your show, you'd be out of that window by now!!
:'''Buster''': Please, please, please! I'm so sorry!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You'd better have Calloway by the end of next week or '''SO HELP ME!!!'''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You fired Porsha.
:'''Buster''': No. No. I never fired her.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You calling her a liar?
:'''Buster''': No, no, no, no, She just got it wrong, is all. I was only trying to help her do the best she could, and be...believe me, I..I..I just wanted to do the right thing.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': The right thing to do... ''[He grabs Moon by the shirt]'' ...&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''IS WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Buster''': But I did! I...I...I delivered a great show. And Ca...Calloway, he's coming. ''[He holds Moon above the roof]'' No, no, no! Stop! Stop! No!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You really think I'd let a lowlife little amateur loser like you humiliate me!?
:'''Buster''': Please! Please!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You made me look bad.
:'''Buster''': No, no! I didn't mean to! No!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': So I'm gonna have to let you go.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Mr. Crystal! Mr. Crystal!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Aah! Jerry!
:'''Raoul''': I tried to stop him, sir.
:'''Jerry''': I'm so sorry to wake you up, sir! It's Moon! He's taken over the theatre and putting his show up right now!! 
:'''Mr. Crystal''': He's... ''[as he get out of bed]'' ...&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[Jerry screams like a girl when he sees him naked]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Thank you, thank you! You're too kind! I appreciate it, really, I-I do! Look, I am very proud of this show! We did great work here, great work! And my good friend Clay, Great to have him back, right?
:''[Audience cheering]''
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Yeah! And listen, I look forward to seeing this show run in my theater, for many many years to come. Right, Moon?
:''[Mr. Crystal notices that Buster and his friends are gone]''
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Moon?

== Cast ==
* '''[[Matthew McConaughey]]''' — Buster Moon
* '''[[Reese Witherspoon]]''' — Rosita
* '''[[Scarlett Johansson]]''' — Ash
* '''[[Taron Egerton]]''' — Johnny
* '''[[w:Bobby Cannavale|Bobby Cannavale]]''' — Mr. Crystal
* '''[[w:Tori Kelly|Tori Kelly]]''' — Meena
* '''[[w:Nick Kroll|Nick Kroll]]''' — Gunter
* '''[[w:Pharrell Williams|Pharrell Williams]]''' — Alfonso
* '''[[w:Halsey (singer)|Halsey]]''' — Porsha Crystal
* '''[[w:Chelsea Peretti|Chelsea Peretti]]''' — Suki
* '''[[w:Letitia Wright|Letitia Wright]]''' — Nooshy
* '''[[w:Eric André|Eric &quot;Blarf&quot; André]]''' — Darius
* '''[[w:Adam Buxton|Adam Buxton]]''' — Klaus Kickenklober
* '''[[w:Garth Jennings|Garth Jennings]]''' — Ms. Crawly
* '''[[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]]''' — Big Daddy
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — Nana Noodleman
* '''[[w:Nick Offerman|Nick Offerman]]''' — Norman
* '''[[w:Bono|Bono]]''' — Clay Calloway
* '''[[w:Spike Jonze|Spike Jonze]]''' — Jerry
* '''[[w:Julia Davis|Julia Davis]]''' — Linda le Bon

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sing 2}}
[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films about koalas]]
[[Category:Animated films about elephants]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Animated films about apes]]
[[Category:Animated films about lions]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films set in a theatre]]</text>
      <sha1>exvqghm5l300gxeonlsdxi46gcuqk55</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154660</id>
      <parentid>3154656</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:30:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5523" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Sing 2}}''''' is a 2021 American 3D computer animated jukebox musical comedy film produced by Illumination. It is the sequel to ''[[Sing (2016 American film)|Sing]]'' and the second feature film in the franchise. The film was theatrically released in the United States on December 22, 2021 by Universal Pictures.

The film features the original voices from the first movie - [[Matthew McConaughey]], [[Reese Witherspoon]], [[Scarlett Johansson]], {{w|Nick Kroll}}, [[Taron Egerton]], {{w|Tori Kelly}}, {{w|Nick Offerman}} and Jennings himself. New voices featured {{w|Bobby Cannavale}}, [[w:Halsey (singer)|Halsey]], [[Bono]], {{w|Pharrell Williams}}, {{w|Letitia Wright}}, {{w|Eric André}}, {{w|Chelsea Peretti}} and {{w|Spike Jonze}}.

:''Directed by Garth Jennings and co-directed by Christophe Lourdelet. Written by Garth Jennings. Produced by Chris Meledandri and Janet Healy.''

{{film-stub}}

== Buster Moon ==
* Guys, this is the entertainment capital of the world!
* Johnny, you’re going to be working with the number one choreographer in Redshore City.
* Let’s go spread a little Moon Theater magic!
* ''[while hiding in his suitcase]'' ''['''Ash''': Buster?]'' Ash?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Mr. Crystal''': My team, they talked to Calloway's lawyer, and they say he's never heard of you, or your show.
:'''Buster''': Really? They said that? Uh... 	
:'''Mr. Crystal''': ''[angry, offscreen]'' '''YOU LIED TO ME!!!'''
:'''Buster''': I didn't mean to. Okay?! Uh, honestly, I really thought I could get him.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': No one makes me look like a fool! '''NO ONE!!!'''
:'''Buster''': I-I-I wouldn't dream of doing that to you!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': I swear, if I didn't have my kid in your show, you'd be out of that window by now!!
:'''Buster''': Please, please, please! I'm so sorry!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You'd better have Calloway by the end of next week or '''SO HELP ME!!!'''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You fired Porsha.
:'''Buster''': No. No. I never fired her.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You calling her a liar?
:'''Buster''': No, no, no, no, She just got it wrong, is all. I was only trying to help her do the best she could, and be...believe me, I..I..I just wanted to do the right thing.
:'''Mr. Crystal''': The right thing to do...
:''[Mr. Crystal grabs Buster by the shirt]''
:'''Mr. Crystal''': ...&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''IS WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Buster''': But I did! I...I...I delivered a great show. And Ca...Calloway, he's coming.
:''[Mr. Crystal holds him above the roof]''
:'''Buster''': No, no, no! Stop! Stop! No!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You really think I'd let a lowlife little amateur loser like you humiliate me!?
:'''Buster''': Please! Please!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': You made me look bad.
:'''Buster''': No, no! I didn't mean to! No!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': So I'm gonna have to let you go.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Mr. Crystal! Mr. Crystal!
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Aah! Jerry!
:'''Raoul''': I tried to stop him, sir.
:'''Jerry''': I'm so sorry to wake you up, sir! It's Moon! He's taken over the theatre and putting his show up right now!! 
:'''Mr. Crystal''': He's... ''[as he get out of bed]'' ...&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[Jerry screams like a girl when he sees him naked]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Thank you, thank you! You're too kind! I appreciate it, really, I-I do! Look, I am very proud of this show! We did great work here, great work! And my good friend Clay, Great to have him back, right?
:''[Audience cheering]''
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Yeah! And listen, I look forward to seeing this show run in my theater, for many many years to come. Right, Moon?
:''[Mr. Crystal notices that Buster and his friends are gone]''
:'''Mr. Crystal''': Moon?

== Cast ==
* '''[[Matthew McConaughey]]''' — Buster Moon
* '''[[Reese Witherspoon]]''' — Rosita
* '''[[Scarlett Johansson]]''' — Ash
* '''[[Taron Egerton]]''' — Johnny
* '''[[w:Bobby Cannavale|Bobby Cannavale]]''' — Mr. Crystal
* '''[[w:Tori Kelly|Tori Kelly]]''' — Meena
* '''[[w:Nick Kroll|Nick Kroll]]''' — Gunter
* '''[[w:Pharrell Williams|Pharrell Williams]]''' — Alfonso
* '''[[w:Halsey (singer)|Halsey]]''' — Porsha Crystal
* '''[[w:Chelsea Peretti|Chelsea Peretti]]''' — Suki
* '''[[w:Letitia Wright|Letitia Wright]]''' — Nooshy
* '''[[w:Eric André|Eric &quot;Blarf&quot; André]]''' — Darius
* '''[[w:Adam Buxton|Adam Buxton]]''' — Klaus Kickenklober
* '''[[w:Garth Jennings|Garth Jennings]]''' — Ms. Crawly
* '''[[w:Peter Serafinowicz|Peter Serafinowicz]]''' — Big Daddy
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — Nana Noodleman
* '''[[w:Nick Offerman|Nick Offerman]]''' — Norman
* '''[[w:Bono|Bono]]''' — Clay Calloway
* '''[[w:Spike Jonze|Spike Jonze]]''' — Jerry
* '''[[w:Julia Davis|Julia Davis]]''' — Linda le Bon

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sing 2}}
[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Films about koalas]]
[[Category:Animated films about elephants]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Animated films about apes]]
[[Category:Animated films about lions]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films set in a theatre]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mamady Doumbouya</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>244814</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154581</id>
      <parentid>3128810</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T14:57:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Mike Rohsopht</username>
        <id>3126072</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>([[c:GR|GR]])  [[File:Mamady-Doumbouya.jpg]] → [[File:Mamadi Doumbouya 2022.jpg]] copyvio</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1210" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mamadi Doumbouya 2022.jpg|thumb|Mamady Doumbouya in 2020]]

'''[[w:Mamady Doumbouya|Mamady Doumbouya]]''' (born 4 March 1980) is a [[Guinea]]n [[w:Republic of Guinea Armed Forces|military]] officer serving as the interim [[w:president of Guinea|president of Guinea]] since 1 October 2021. Doumbouya led [[w:2021 Guinean coup d'état|a coup d'état on 5 September 2021]] that overthrew the previous president, [[w:Alpha Condé|Alpha Condé]]. He is member of the Guinean Special Forces Group and a former [[w:French legionnaire|French legionnaire]].

{{military-stub}}
==Quotes==
* The personalisation of political life is over. We will no longer entrust [[politics]] to one man (Alpha Condé). We will entrust it to the people (of Guinea).
** Mamady Doumbouya (2021) cited in: &quot;[https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/9/6/toppled-alpha-conde-failed-to-live-up-to-his-promises-in-guinea Who is Alpha Conde, Guinea’s toppled president?]&quot; in ''Aljazeera'', 6 September 2021.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat|Mamadi Doumbouya}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Doumbouya, Mamady}}
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Guineans]]
[[Category:Heads of state]]
[[Category:Military leaders]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Better Call Saul (season 6)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>246839</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154859</id>
      <parentid>3154141</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T11:54:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>DemonDrake</username>
        <id>3100809</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/*  Breaking Bad [6.11] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="136346" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[Better Call Saul (season 1)|1]] [[Better Call Saul (season 2)|2]] [[Better Call Saul (season 3)|3]] [[Better Call Saul (season 4)|4]] [[Better Call Saul (season 5)|5]] [[Better Call Saul (season 6)|6]] | [[Better Call Saul|'''Main''']]
----

The following is a list of quotes from the sixth season of ''[[Better Call Saul]]''.

=== ''[[w:Wine and Roses|Wine and Roses]]'' [6.01] ===
:''[Mike, Gus, and Tyrus gather in the office trailer at the Los Pollos Hermanos chicken farm to discuss the aftermath of the attempted hit on Lalo Salamanca.]''
:'''Gus:''' Tell me again about the ''sicario'' who made the final report.
:'''Tyrus:''' He was already wounded when he talked to our cutout. Federales found him dead at the scene. But they got Salamanca.
:'''Gus:''' The mercenaries are dead. To a man. And yet their mission was a success?
:'''Mike:''' It has been known to happen. Now you go down there and get Varga, bring him home safe. There's ways to do it on the quiet. 
:''[Long pause; Gus and Tyrus both stare at him.]''
:'''Mike:''' ''[scoffs]'' ...Unless you already have something in the works.
:''[Tyrus turns and exits the trailer. Mike and Gus speak alone.]''
:'''Gus:''' Speak your mind.
:'''Mike:''' Loyalty goes both ways. Varga's done everything you asked him. 
:'''Gus:''' He wasn't given a choice.
:'''Mike:''' Maybe so, but he played a tough game. And he played it on the square. 
:'''Gus:''' ...And?
:'''Mike:''' When all is said and done, the kid deserves your respect.
:'''Gus:''' He has it. Is there more you wish to say?
:''[After a long pause, Mike exits the trailer.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy and Kim have dinner at a diner; conversation turns to the Ford Taurus that Jimmy has rented.]''
:'''Jimmy:''' I rented us a car. It's the Ford.
:'''Kim:''' So Saul Goodman drives a brown Ford Taurus?
:'''Jimmy:''' Detroit calls that taupe, I believe.
:'''Kim:''' Don't you think Saul Goodman would drive something with a little more... flair?
:'''Jimmy:''' Such as?
:'''Kim:''' I don't know. Definitely American-made. Something showy. And Saul Goodman has an office. Something eye-catching. Good location.
:'''Jimmy:''' By the courthouse?
:'''Kim:''' Yeah. A cathedral of justice.
:'''Jimmy:''' ''Ooooh'', a cathedral of justice. Okay, yeah.
:'''Kim:''' We should start looking for something for you. I mean, for Saul.
:'''Jimmy:''' Sold. When do we start?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the courthouse, Jimmy is confronted by the district attorney who prosecuted Lalo during his bail hearing]''
:'''ADA Khalil''': I've been calling you for two days.
:'''Jimmy''': Oh, my girl's out sick. What can I do you for?
:'''ADA Khalil''': Tomorrow morning, 10 A.M.
:'''Jimmy''': Brunch? But just you and me, right? ''[points at Detective Roberts]'' I mean, won't the big fella here feel like a third wheel?
:'''ADA Khalil''': You and I are meeting Parson in chambers. I am asking for an emergency hearing to alter the terms of De Guzman's release.
:'''Jimmy''': Sounds like a blast. Unfortunately, I'm booked solid. 
:'''Detective Roberts''': I checked your client's place of residence. The address he gave, it's a Dairy Queen in Altamonte. The family that showed at the bail hearing can't be located. No driver's license, no tax rolls, no school records. Nothing. The fact is, there isn't a single Elizabeth McKinnon under the age of 73 living in New Mexico.
:'''Jimmy''': Well, this is–this is surprising.
:'''ADA Khalil''': Your client has disappeared, and I'm not waiting six weeks to start looking for him.
:'''Jimmy''': Hey, my guy put up seven million in bail. You think he's just gonna walk away from that?
:'''Detective Roberts''': Who comes up with seven million bucks in cash?
:'''ADA Khalil''': You know what I think? I think the family was fake. ''[to Jimmy]'' And I think you knew it the whole time.
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, hold up. Just get real for a second. The hearing didn't go your way, and now you're trying for a do-over? You say my guy ran, I say he's got seven million reasons for showing up when he's legally required to do so. So, no, I won't be... uh, due process window dressing at any crash meeting with Parson. And if you try throwing any of this crap around in front of the judge without my presence, here's an accusation: Prosecutorial misconduct. ''Career-ending'' prosecutorial misconduct!
:'''Detective Roberts''': None of that changes the fact the guy's not who he said he was.
:'''Jimmy''': No, no, no! Hold on! You guys got caught with your pants around your ankles, and somehow that's on me?! I don't think so! ''[points at ADA Khalil]''  You got two dozen lawyers up there! You got investigators—you got the whole damn police force—and it's ''my'' fault that you can't keep track of Lalo?! ''That is '''not''' my job!''
:'''ADA Khalil''': Lalo? Who's Lalo?
:'''Jimmy''': What?! ''[blinks hard]'' What did I say... I meant De Guzman. I have more than one client! ''[chuckles]'' So... ''[clears throat]'' I will see you at the preliminary in six weeks as scheduled. Until then, I have clients who need me.
:''[Jimmy walks into an empty courtroom and sits down while contemplating his slip-up]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy takes a guided tour of the country club where Howard and Cliff are members, meeting with a tour guide named Norm in the main lounge.]''
:'''Norm:''' Hi, Norm Wakely. I understand you're in the market for a tour.
:'''Jimmy:''' That's right. Saul Goodman.
:'''Norm:''' Great to meet you, Mr. Goodman. 
:'''Jimmy:''' No please, call me Saul.
:'''Norm:''' Great. So Saul, can I get you anything before we get started? The coffee here is just unbeatable. 
:'''Jimmy:''' Uh, well, I'm fine. I'm fully caffeinated. 
:''[Kevin Wachtell walks into the room and becomes upset upon seeing Jimmy in the lounge.]''
:'''Norm:''' Well Saul, you and I are standing on hallowed ground. Five presidents have played on our course, starting with Dwight D. Eisenhower. But the story goes back even further than that–
:'''Kevin:''' ''Norm.''
:''[Jimmy and Norm turn toward Kevin.]''
:'''Kevin:''' Can I have a sec, please?
:'''Jimmy:''' Kevin, hey. How's it going?
:'''Norm:''' Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sure this will just be a moment.
:''[Norm goes over to Kevin and talks to him for a few moments, clearly being instructed to remove Jimmy from the premises.]''
:'''Norm:''' Mr. Goodman. I'm so sorry, but I've just been reminded that in fact we have a two-year waiting list.
:'''Jimmy:''' Two years, wow. Maybe I could go on the tour anyway. I mean, 'cause I'm here. Just in case.
:'''Norm:''' Well unfortunately, we've suspended tours for the moment.
:'''Jimmy:''' You're not even giving tours?
:'''Norm:''' I apologize for the inconvenience. We–we'll be happy to call you if the situation changes. You left your number?
:'''Jimmy:''' Uh-huh.
:'''Norm:''' Well, we'll be in touch. If the situation changes. Again, I–I am sorry for your time and trouble. We just– ''[sighs]'' We had a few crosswires.
:'''Jimmy:''' Well... okay then.
:'''Norm:''' Thank you.
:''[Jimmy is about the leave the lounge, but impulsively stops, turns around, and approaches Norm again.]''
:'''Jimmy:''' I'm sorry.
:'''Norm:''' Oh, yes.
:'''Jimmy:''' Um, just so I understand: you were going to give me a tour and then realized you don't need new members?
:'''Norm:''' We have a waiting list.
:'''Jimmy:''' Okay, but you're the membership director... 
:'''Norm:''' I know.
:'''Jimmy:''' ...so you would have known that before. It doesn't really add up. I mean, I came in and everyone was rolling out the red carpet, and then all of a sudden something changed. I don't–
:'''Norm:''' Mr. Goodman, I–
:'''Jimmy:''' ''Goodman.'' The name. The second you heard it, everything turned on a dime. Wow. Waiting list? I think you're talking about an ''exclusion'' list. It's okay, I should have known. Because, I mean, look! ''[raises his voice and walks to the middle of the lounge, where everyone can see him]'' It's wall-to-wall mayonnaise in here! So listen, if you're going to be restrictive, have the courage to say so!
:'''Norm:''' There's no question–
:'''Jimmy:''' There it is, folks! Anti-Semitism, alive and well right here in Albuquerque!
:'''Norm:''' Sir! We have many Jewish members!
:'''Jimmy:''' Oh good. Well, you met your quota then. Gold star for you.
:''[Kevin, flanked by two of his golf buddies, interjects.]''
:'''Kevin:''' Hold on. That's gotta be the biggest load of horse crap I've ever heard in my life. Go crawl back in your hole, McGill or Goodman – whatever you're calling yourself. What are you up to, anyway? Ginning up another one of your put-up job lawsuits? You two-faced, blackmailing, money-grubbing son of a bitch–
:'''Jimmy:''' Money-grubbing! You're saying the quiet part out loud, I think.
:'''Norm:''' Gentlemen, can we just keep the volume down?
:'''Kevin:''' You know damn well that's not what I meant!
:'''Jimmy:''' In this day and age, I'd hoped and prayed we'd be beyond this.
:'''Kevin:''' You're about as Jewish as my Aunt Fannie!
:'''Jimmy:''' Five-thousand years and it never ends!
:''[Kevin tries to take a swing at Jimmy, but is held back by his golf buddies.]''
:'''Jimmy:''' ''Here it is! Violence! It always comes to this!''
:'''Norm:''' Mr. Wachtell, please!
:'''Kevin's Buddy:''' Come on, Kev.
:'''Kevin:''' ''[to Jimmy]'' You go to hell, you lying sack of shit.
:''[Kevin and his golf buddies leave the lounge.]''
:'''Norm:''' Sir. Mr. Goodman, I don't know what to say. That is not–
:'''Jimmy:''' I wouldn't be a member here. I wouldn't walk through those doors again after what happened to me here today. ''[feigns tears]'' Do you at least have a bathroom that I could use, seeing as how my– Stress like that is hell on my diverticulitis. 
:'''Norm:''' The men's locker room is the closest. It's straight through there.
:'''Jimmy:''' And I would be allowed to go in there?
:'''Norm:''' Yes, of course.
:'''Jimmy:''' I want you to know I don't blame you personally. I know you were just following orders. ''[to everyone in the lounge]'' It's okay, folks! I'm leaving! All is well!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lalo is preparing to be smuggled across the border with a group of undocumented immigrants when he decides to call the Casa Tranquila Nursing Home and speak to Hector. A nurse holds a phone up to Hector's ear in the common room. Hector uses his bell to communicate.]''
:'''Lalo:''' ''[in Spanish]'' Uncle, can you hear me? Do you know my voice?
:''[Hector visibly recognizes Lalo's voice.]''
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings bell twice]''
:'''Lalo:''' They told you about the attack, didn't they?
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings once]''
:'''Lalo:''' Let them keep believing I'm dead. So much the better. It was the chicken man. That coward sat up there in the north while his paramilitaries came into my home. My home, Uncle! Screw Bolsa, screw Eladio. I'm coming north. I'm going to hurt him. Hurt him like you taught me. And then I will kill him. 
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings repeatedly in agreement]''
:'''Lalo:''' What is it?
:''[The nurse takes the phone from Hector.]''
:'''Nurse:''' Hector? ''[to Lalo]'' Excuse me. I'm so sorry, but Hector seems a little upset.
:'''Lalo:''' ''[in English]'' Yeah, sorry. Um, I'm just– I'm sharing a bit of family news, some good, some bad. Would you mind putting him back on? It will only be a minute.
:'''Nurse:''' Of course.
:''[The nurse again holds the phone to Hector's ear.]''
:'''Lalo:''' ''[in Spanish]'' Uncle?
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings twice]''
:'''Lalo:''' What is it? Do you have another idea? 
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings twice]''
:'''Lalo:''' Okay, let's see. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, Ñ, O, P–
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings once]''
:'''Lalo:''' P? That's right?
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings once]''
:'''Lalo:''' Okay. What's next? A, B, C, D...
:''[Cut to the common room; Hector rings twice.]''
:'''Lalo:''' ...L, M, N, Ñ...
:''[Cut to the common room; Hector rings once.]''
:'''Lalo:''' U? ''Prueba?'' 
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings once]''
:'''Lalo:''' Is that what you're saying? Proof?
:'''Hector:''' ''[rings twice]''
:'''Lalo:''' Uncle, I don't have any proof. For months I was in the north watching him, following his men. There was nothing.
:''[Lalo has a flash of realization.]''
:'''Lalo:''' Wait... There is proof. I know where to find it. Goodbye, Uncle. You will see me soon.

=== ''[[w:Carrot and Stick|Carrot and Stick]]'' [6.02] ===
:'''Jimmy''': &quot;I was a hard worker. I was a company man. Twenty years, and I didn't miss a single day. They even gave me a plaque for it. ''[sighs]'' It was a gold plaque. Perfect attendance... But when they handed it to me, I wrenched my back. I was in so much pain, I couldn't do my job... ''[sighs again]'' which meant I couldn't put food on the table. I didn't want to sue... but with a family to support, what choice did I have?&quot;
:'''Kim''': Wait, who are you supposed to be again?
:'''Jimmy''': Whatever. The backstory is just a placeholder. I'm gonna polish the script once we cast.
:'''Kim''': But a personal injury suit? Best case scenario, that gets him in with an associate.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[throws hands up]'' Mesothelioma. ''[clears his throat]'' &quot;When I took that job down at the shoe factory, I had no idea I was risking my life. Now, I can't stop coughin'!&quot; Right? Come on! Hey, a mesothelioma class-action built Clifford Main his vacation house. He hears &quot;mesothelioma,&quot; his eyes pop!
:'''Kim''': Well, sure. But then he takes the case. What happens when he asks for a medical evaluation? And how does Howard come up?
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, ask me why I'm here.
:'''Kim''': What brings you to Davis &amp; Main today?
:'''Jimmy''': &quot;I'm sick. I'm really sick...&quot;
:'''Kim''': Good.
:'''Jimmy''': &quot;...and it's not mesothelioma, but it's not good. And I need a lawyer, and the pickings are slim. I already went to HHM. I met with their top guy, Howard Hamlin, and uh... Uhhh, I–I got a brother-in-law and he's got a pretty nasty coke habit, very similar energy. Just put me off. Anyway, I need a lawyer, blah-blah-blah.&quot;
:'''Kim''': Okay, but you got a bad feeling from just one meeting?
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, I had the brother-in-law with the coke.
:'''Kim''': Yeah, but you were only in the room with him once.
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, so it's gotta be something with a history with Howard.
:'''Kim''': Yeah.
:'''Jimmy''': But Cliff has to want to take the meeting, but not the case.
:'''Kim''': Right. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[sighs]'' It's gotta be good, but not too good.
:'''Kim''': Exactly. There's a sweet spot, you know. Like a magnet. We–we pull Cliff in, and then repel him. ''[beat]'' Oh!
:'''Jimmy''': What?
:'''Kim''': ''[sighs]'' You are going to ''hate'' this...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy tracks down the Kettlemans to their shady tax preparation office and tries to rope them into his and Kim's plan to ruin Howard]'' 
:'''Betsy''': ''[to Jimmy]'' You've got some nerve coming here after what you did! ''[shoves Jimmy]'' ''Leave!'' Because of you, we lost ''everything!'' Our kids are in public school! So why don't you go crawl back under whatever slime-covered rock you came from and leave us the heck alone?! 
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, I sense some anger here, but that's–that's perfectly understandable. Since you brought it up, I came here today because I was curious if you two wanted your lives back. There's actually a legal term for it: Exoneration. 
:'''Craig''': Oh. You know, we actually did look into that.
:'''Betsy''': Yep.
:'''Craig''': We went to a number of lawyers, and—
:'''Betsy''': ''Real'' lawyers.
:'''Craig''': Yes. They were all terrific, but they said that it was impossible.
:'''Betsy''': ''Mm-hmm''.
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, but those lawyers don't know what I know.
:'''Craig''': What's that?
:'''Betsy''': No, Craig. He's got an angle.
:'''Jimmy''': I ''do'' have an angle, Craig. It's an angle called justice. ''[Betsy scoffs and snickers]'' Let me put it this way: I think that within Craig's case, I have found the grounds for a civil suit. A big one. ''[pause; quietly]'' Big. 
:'''Betsy''': ''[long pause; looks at Craig]'' Okay, then. Let's hear it.
:'''Jimmy''': Let's hold your horses, because we've been down this road before. [[w:Uno (Better Call Saul)|And the last time I gave you two advice, you went straight to the competition with it.]] ''[pulls out a piece of paper from inside his suit]'' So, I just need some assurances that all my hard work isn't gonna end up in the hands of, uh, Clifford Main or some other asshole at some pretentious high-pay, white-shoe law firm. So before we talk turkey, letters of engagement. 
:'''Craig''': Yes.
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, you remember these. I made some updates, just closed a few loopholes and whatnot. So... ''[holds out paper and pen]''
:'''Betsy''': ''[stops Craig from taking the pen]'' We're not signing anything.
:'''Jimmy''': You have to sign if you want to know what I know. 
:'''Betsy''': ''We're not signing.''
:'''Jimmy''': Really? You're sure?
:'''Betsy''': Yep.
:'''Jimmy''': Craig?
:'''Craig''': ''[looks at Betsy before shaking his head]'' Thanks anyway.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[unclicks pen]'' Alright. Well, uh... Sorry we couldn't work something out.
:'''Betsy''': I'm sure you are.
:''[Jimmy overhears Betsy and Craig arguing as he walks around the trailer. He balls the pen in his fist]''
:'''Craig''': Mr. Goodman!
:'''Jimmy''': ''[smiles; clicks pen and takes out letter]'' Best decision you've ever made. ''[turns his back to Craig for him to sign the letter]'' Here you go.
:'''Betsy''': ''[after Craig signs the letter]'' So what do you know?
:'''Jimmy''': You got one, too, Betsy. ''[holds out another letter]''
:''[Betsy snatches the pen and paper from Jimmy and signs the letter while pressing the pen hard on Jimmy's back]'' 
:'''Jimmy''': Oh, come on. That's not... ''Ow''. All right. Well, we're officially in business. Now, I have it on good authority here that Craig was not given proper counsel. 
:'''Betsy''': We already knew that.
:'''Jimmy''': But did you ask yourselves why?
:'''Craig''': No. Why?
:'''Jimmy''': What if I told you that in your hour of need, the person who was supposed to be on your side was impaired?
:'''Craig''': Impaired?
:'''Jimmy''': It's a... a person of substance. ''[as Betsy and Craig talk to each other quietly]'' Substance in question being a certain illegal white powder.
:'''Betsy''': That awful woman with the ponytail is a cocaine addict.
:'''Jimmy''': No, not Kim Wexler! No! Craig's lead attorney, Howard Hamlin! 
:'''Craig''': Oh. I thought he was so... professional and energetic. Upbeat. 
:'''Betsy''': Oh...
:'''Jimmy''': &quot;Oh,&quot; is right.
:'''Craig''': So upbeat is bad?
:'''Jimmy''': In this case, it's textbook malpractice. The magic phrase is, &quot;ineffective assistance of counsel.&quot; If your guy wasn't nose deep in the devil's dandruff, well, Craig's case would've turned out completely different.
:'''Craig''': Oh, my God! 
:'''Betsy''': Don't we need some kind of proof?
:'''Jimmy''': All the dirty laundry comes out in discovery. It’s just trips to rehab, secret drug deals. All we gotta do is get the ball rolling. So, I say we get started on your affidavits. 
:'''Craig''': Yes.
:'''Betsy''': About that. We happen to know a thing or two about our rights, Mr. McGill. And it doesn’t matter what you force us to sign. We don’t have to work with any lawyer we don’t want. ''[gets in Jimmy's face]'' And that means... you’re fired. 
:'''Jimmy''': I am not fired.
:'''Betsy''': Oh yes, you are!
:'''Jimmy''': No! No!
:'''Craig''': He’s fired?
:'''Betsy''': Craig! 
:'''Jimmy''': No, you can’t fire me! I found this case, it’s mine! Hey, you wanna hear about rights?! The second you say where you got this information from, guess who automatically gets a cut?! ''Me! So go ahead! Go ahead, see what happens!''
:''[Jimmy pretends to be upset after the Kettlemans leave, but slowly starts smiling as he walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gus and Juan Bolsa visit Hector at Casa Tranquila to send their condolences, still believing that Lalo is dead. The dialogue is in Spanish.]''
:'''Bolsa''': He wishes to make amends. At least hear him out.
:'''Gus''': Don Hector. It's no secret that I did not see eye to eye with your nephew. And while the friction between your family and myself did not start with him, today I am reminded we are all Eladio's men. No matter our disagreements, a strike against one is a strike against all. I hope you will accept my condolences and my support as you navigate this terrible loss.
:'''Bolsa''': Gustavo speaks the truth. In this matter, he and I both stand shoulder to shoulder behind the Salamanca family. We are still looking for the traitor, Ignacio Varga. ''[places hand on Hector's shoulder]'' We will find him. And then your family will have justice.
:''[Hector slowly reaches his hand out to Gus. As Gus holds his hand, he notices a change of expression on Hector's face and stares at him. Cut to outside the nursing home.]'' 
:'''Bolsa''': ''[to Gus in English]'' We'll be in touch.
:''[Gus calls Mike on his cell phone after Bolsa drives away]''
:'''Mike''': What did you learn?
:'''Gus''': Lalo Salamanca lives.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy gets a call from Betsy Kettleman after she finds out there was no case against Howard]''
:'''Jimmy''': Saul Goodman, speedy justice for you. Oh, wait! Okay, just take a breath, and then we can... Okay, okay. I can tell you're upset. Just... I–I never advised that. No. ''[sighs]'' No, I did not, so let's agree to disagree. ''[pause]'' Okay, I think you're going to want to meet in person before you do anything rash. So how about–how about we meet up, and we can hash this out. ''[pause]'' Yeah, sure! Tomorrow, first thing. Uh, 9 A.M, I can come to your office. That work? ...Okay, okay! Good! ''[hangs up]'' 
:'''Kim''': I'm surprised it took them this long. You, uh... You're gonna use the stick, right? 
:'''Jimmy''': The stick? Well, it's a big stick. But I know these people, they're more carrot types. Especially her. ''[takes out cash and puts the bills in his suit pocket]'' Spoonful of sugar, you know?
:'''Kim''': ''[beat]'' I think maybe I'll come, too.
:'''Jimmy''': Tomorrow? Really?
:'''Kim''': Sure. I have time.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause]'' Okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tyrus''': They found the truck, but no sign of Varga. Salamancas have all eyes looking for him, including the federales. Still not picking up his cell, so nobody got a lock on it. Now as for Lalo, still missing. As far as everybody in the cartel is concerned, top to bottom, Lalo is dead.
:'''Mike''': May I offer a thought? ''[pause; to Gus]'' If Salamanca was coming straight for you, he'd be here already. We've got guys watching anywhere he might turn up this side of Mexico. Wire taps on any phone he might call. There is not a whiff of him. Now, my guess is he's smart enough to know it's not in the Salamanca family interest to take you out without a reason the bosses can get behind. So, the odds are he's searching for Varga. Finds him alive, gets him to talk. ''[pause; Gus remains silent]'' Varga's alone in foreign territory, no one he can trust. The kid's smart, but he's not gonna last. ''[Gus stands up]'' He's gonna get caught.
:''[Gus accidentally knocks a glass over and kneels down to pick up the shards from the floor]''
:'''Gus''': Continue.
:'''Mike''': The best way to handle this: I take four of our best guys, cross the border and track Varga down. Let me find him, bring him back before the Salamancas sweep him up. It's our only play.
:''[After cleaning up the broken glass, Gus throws it away and looks out a nearby window]''
:'''Gus''': ''[beat; in Spanish]'' Varga's father. Bring him here.
:'''Mike''': No. You're not doing that. ''[locks the door after Tyrus gets his gun out]'' You don't understand. That's not happening. 
:'''Tyrus''': ''[walks up to Mike and aims gun at him]'' Just say the word.
:'''Mike''': Whatever happens next... it's not gonna go down the way you think it is.
:''[Mike stares at Tyrus, who cocks his gun and waits for Mike to make a move.]''
:'''Mike''': ''[beat; hears cell phone vibrating]'' It's him.
:'''Tyrus''': Bullshit. I've been calling Varga for hours. He hasn't picked up once. 
:'''Mike''': He's been trying to get me since he left the Salamancas. ''[opens phone]'' You want me to answer it?
:''[Tyrus turns to Gus, who nods. Mike answers the phone and speaks to Nacho]''
:'''Mike''': Yeah. ''[pause]'' Yeah. ...Not my call. ''[pause]'' That's up to you. ''[to Gus]'' He wants to talk to you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Betsy:''' You used us &amp;ndash; us and our good name &amp;ndash; to character-assassinate Howard Hamlin. Somehow, some way, it benefits you to tear him down.
:'''Craig:''' Yeah. And we're&amp;ndash;we're mad.
:'''Jimmy:''' Okay, yeah. I'm hearing a lot of unfounded accusations being tossed around. I don't know anything about schemes or character assassination or whatnot, but... ''[clears throat]'' if you're feeling slighted, we can make it right. ''[Jimmy hands Betsy a bundle of cash]''
:'''Betsy:''' Money? ''[scoffs]'' Money's not gonna take care of this.
:'''Jimmy:''' Money takes care of everything. Isn't that the motto stitched onto the Kettleman family crest?
:'''Betsy:''' We don't want money. 
:'''Jimmy:''' I am non-plussed. I'm guessing you want something.
:'''Betsy:''' Do what you promised.
:'''Jimmy:''' Do what I what?
:'''Betsy:''' Exonerate Craig. Get his good name back. 
:'''Jimmy:''' Alright. Well, as you've been advised, for a number of reasons that's not gonna happen.
:'''Betsy:''' It ''is'' gonna happen. It is. It's... You're just gonna have to figure out a way.
:'''Craig:''' If anyone can do this, it's you.
:'''Betsy:''' I know you don't want us going to Howard Hamlin. Because whatever it is you're up to, I'm sure he would be ''very'' interested.
:'''Jimmy:''' Okay, let's just go easy on the threats.
:'''Betsy:''' We want our lives back! The way they were before. ''Before.'' We lost everything! And we don't deserve any of this.
:'''Kim:''' Okay. Enough carrot. ''[clears throat]''
:''[Kim turns to the home phone next to her and begins to dial]''
:'''Craig:''' Dial 9 to get out.
:'''Kim:''' Oh, thank you.
:'''Betsy:''' ''[whispering; to Craig]'' We didn't give her permission to use the phone.
:'''Craig:''' ''[whispering; to Betsy]'' She needs to use the phone.
:'''Jimmy:''' Kim... ?
:''[The line connects; Kim speaks through the phone's speaker]''
:'''Receptionist:''' Internal Revenue Service, Albuquerque.
:'''Kim:''' Hi. Could you put me through to Justin Stangel in Criminal Investigations? 
:'''Receptionist:''' One moment, please.
:'''Betsy:''' ''[to Kim]'' What are you doing? Excuse me!
:'''Justin:''' This is Justin.
:'''Kim:''' Justin, Kim Wexler. How are you?
:'''Justin:''' Hey, Kim. Good to hear from you.
:'''Kim:''' How are Noreen and the boys?
:'''Justin:''' Oh, hanging in. Noreen always talks about having you by for dinner some time.
:'''Kim:''' We should do that. Tell her to call me. Listen, I was wondering who your CID officer is these days.
:'''Justin:''' You have something for us?
:'''Kim:''' Oh, I just might: Tax preparer fraud. A lot of it.
:'''Justin:''' I'm listening.
:'''Kim:''' Well, it's this, uh, run-down little mom-and-pop outfit I've had my eye on for a while. ''[chuckles]'' Don't ask me why. Clearly, I need to get a life. But from what I can glean, their clients always end up with smaller refunds than they deserve.
:'''Betsy:''' ''[whispering]'' Please don't do this.
:'''Justin:''' Do the clients sign over third-party authorization?
:'''Kim:''' Bingo. So what I'm thinking is, these creeps file legit returns with you guys, give the clients fake ones that show about half the proper amount, and then pocket the difference. 
:'''Justin:''' Classic scam. Well, I know just the guy to go after these dirtbags. Tony Oropallo. Real bulldog. I'll transfer you over.
:'''Kim:''' Such a big help, Justin.
:'''Justin:''' You got it. Talk soon.
:'''Betsy:''' You don't have to do this.
:'''Kim:''' ''[to Betsy]'' Don't I? Betsy... You'll probably get twenty-four months, maybe eighteen with good behavior. But Craig? You are a two-time loser. They will definitely make an example out of you. Each false return they discover will be a separate felony. What are we talking? A hundred?
:'''Betsy:''' Uh...
:'''Kim:''' Two-hundred? 
:'''Tony:''' ''[beat]'' CID, Anthony Oropallo speaking.
:''[Betsy runs to the phone and slams down the receiver to end the call]''
:'''Betsy:''' Please. We'll do anything. Just tell us.
:'''Kim:''' ''[beat]'' Why would I believe ''you?'' Huh?
:'''Craig:''' Please. 
:'''Kim:''' ''[long pause]'' First. First, you contact every person you've ripped off. Tell them you made an accounting error, tell them you're crooks who had a change of heart, I don't care. Give them what they are legally owed. Everything you stole. And then after that, you're going to forget you ever heard the name Howard Hamlin. I'm keeping my eye on both of you. You think you've lost everything? ''You have no idea.''
:''[Kim leaves the room with Jimmy while the Kettlemans stand shellshocked, on the verge of tears]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy:''' [[w:Inflatable (Better Call Saul)|Wolves and sheep]].
:'''Kim:''' Huh?
:'''Jimmy:''' ...Nothing.

=== ''[[w:Rock and Hard Place|Rock and Hard Place]]'' [6.03] ===
:''[Nacho calls his father from an auto shop while on the run]''
:'''Manuel''': A-to-Z Fine Upholstery. Hello?
:'''Nacho''': Dad. It's me.
:'''Manuel''': Nacho?
:'''Nacho''': ''Si'', Papa. ''Hola''.
:'''Manuel''': ''[sighs]'' ''Hola, hijo.'' ''[in Spanish]'' How are you?
:'''Nacho''': ''[in Spanish]'' Good, good. Um... just wanted to hear your voice.
:'''Manuel''': Nacho, where are you? You sound strange.
:''[pause]''
:'''Nacho''': It's not important.... I was just checking in, that's all.
:'''Manuel''': Okay. ''Hijo'', I have lots of work to do. We've been through this, so many times. You know what you have to do... go to the police.
:'''Nacho''': Yes, Papa. I understand... I hear you.
:''[pause]''
:'''Manuel''': What else is there to say? Hmm? Goodbye, ''hijo''.
:'''Nacho''': ''[choked up]'' Goodbye, Papa.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nacho calls Mike at an auto repair shop in Mexico while on the run from the Salamancas]''
:'''Mike''': Yeah.
:'''Nacho''': It's me.
:'''Mike''': Yeah.
:'''Nacho''': You knew. You knew that I was going to Mexico to die, that I was never supposed to make it out of that motel. And you let it happen.
:'''Mike''': Not my call.
:'''Nacho''': What happens now?
:'''Mike''': That's up to you. 
:'''Nacho''': Is that bastard with you? Put him on.
:'''Mike''': Hmm. ''[to Gus]'' He wants to talk to you.
:'''Gus''': ''[takes cell phone from Mike; to Nacho]'' Yes.
:'''Nacho''': You are screwed. ''[pause]'' You want the cartel to blame me for Lalo. But if they catch me, and make me talk? ''Ooh...'' That is not good for you, is it? Even if I disappear, everyone's gonna smell your stink all over it. The only way that this works for you is with me dead. ''[beat]'' Alright. Whatever bullshit way you want the story to go, I will make it go. But... I need one thing. 
:'''Gus''': Yes?
:'''Nacho''': My dad. I need to know that he will be safe.
:'''Gus''': If you are true to your word, there will be no reason for anyone to harm your father.
:'''Nacho''': ''You'' are not the one that I need to hear it from.
:''[Gus puts the phone on speaker so Mike can speak to Nacho]''
:'''Mike''': Your dad's gonna be okay.
:'''Nacho''': How do you know?
:'''Mike''': Because anyone who goes after him is gonna have to come through me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy and Huell sit in a car; Jimmy pays Huell for duplicating the keys to Howard's Jaguar]''
:'''Huell:''' Can I ask you sum'n?
:'''Jimmy:''' Sure, go ahead.
:'''Huell:''' Personal, kind of.
:'''Jimmy:''' Okay. What?
:'''Huell:''' You're a lawyer. You make good money, right?
:'''Jimmy:''' Good days and bad, but yeah.
:'''Huell:''' Legit money, on the level.
:'''Jimmy:''' Yeah, so?
:'''Huell:''' Your wife's a lawyer. A legit lawyer.
:'''Jimmy:''' Yeah.
:'''Huell:''' Why you do all this? 
:'''Jimmy:''' Oh, I got you. I&amp;ndash;I know from the outside that this looks like just another scam, but you're not seeing the bigger picture. Couple months from now, there are people whose lives are gonna be way better. Because of this. We're making a real difference. Trust me. We're doing the Lord's work here. 
:'''Huell:''' ''Hmph''. If you say so.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': What's going on?
:'''Kim''': I have news, Jimmy. Lalo is dead.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[exhales deeply]'' Holy shit. 
:'''Kim''': The DA's office put it together that Lalo was calling himself De Guzman. They are pretty upset they let him go.
:'''Jimmy''': I'll bet they are.
:'''Kim''': Ericsen seems to think that if Lalo lied to you and you didn't know about the pseudonym, that you could break confidentiality. She wants you to talk. She says it's right.
:'''Jimmy''': Well, what do you think we should do?
:'''Kim''': You... should do whatever you want, Jimmy. They don't have anything on you. It's just a fishing expedition to see if you bite.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause]'' You think I should do it?
:'''Kim''': It depends.  
:'''Jimmy''': On what?
:'''Kim''': Well... ''[sighs]'' I guess it's basically... Do you want to be a friend of the cartel or... do you want to be a rat?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Nacho is driven to a remote location with Gus, Tyrus and Victor. There they meet Juan Bolsa, Hector Salamanca, and the Cousins. Bolsa kneels next to Nacho.]''
:'''Bolsa:''' Today, you are going to die. But there are good deaths, and there are bad deaths. Tell me what I need to know, I'll see that your death is a good one. Who put you up to this?
:''[Nacho glances at Gus, as if he's about to turn on him]''
:'''Bolsa:''' One last chance. ''Who?'' ''[long pause; scoffs and gets up to leave]''
:'''Nacho:''' It was Alvarez. Los Odios, out of Peru. They paid me to set up your nephew. And I did.
:''[Hector furiously rings his bell and attempts to point to Gus, who he knows is the real culprit]''
:'''Bolsa:''' Alvarez, we know. Los Odios, we know. Was anyone else involved?
:'''Nacho:''' ''[scoffs; nods to Gus]'' Him? You think the chicken man? ''Heh.'' What a joke. Alvarez has been paying me for years &amp;ndash; ''years''. ''[to the Salamancas]'' But you know what? I would have done it for free. Because I hate every last one of you psycho sacks of shit. I opened Lalo's gate, and I would do it again. And I'm glad what they did to him. He's a soulless pig, and I wished I'd killed him with my own hands. And you know what else, Hector? I put you in that chair. Oh, yeah. Your heart meds? I switched them for sugar pills. You were dead and buried, and I had to watch ''this'' asshole... ''[gestures to Gus]'' ...bring you back. So when you are sitting in your shitty nursing home and you're sucking down on your Jell-O night after night for the rest of your life, ''you think of '''me,''' you twisted fuck.''

=== ''[[w:Hit and Run (Better Call Saul)|Hit and Run]]'' [6.04] ===
:'''Jimmy:''' What kind of asshole moves a cone?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': So, I pull the Jag into the loading zone. And I start scrappin' with this hunk of metal. It was in deep—like, &quot;down a well&quot; deep—so I just... wrassled it! UGH! ''[Kim laughs hysterically]'' Like a freakin' bear, and I jam it in the dirt in front of the Jag! Boom! Barely made it out of there with the skin of my teeth. ''Who moves cones?'' Who does that?
:'''Kim''': Narcissists.
:'''Jimmy''': Heh, you're damn right. So you think Cliff really bought it, huh?
:'''Kim''': One hundred percent! You should've seen his face. It landed, trust me. God, it was... beautiful. ''[pause]'' Oh, and that is not all. 
:'''Jimmy''': Spill.
:'''Kim''': So... I'm doing the stall. I'm telling Cliff what I'm doing—what I wanna be doing. All I'm thinking is, I gotta stretch this out until you get there, but then... I don't know. I... kinda got caught up in it, and then... Cliff went for it. I mean, like, ''really'' went for it.
:'''Jimmy''': What does that mean? Like, money?
:'''Kim''': I don't think he'll write a check himself, but he knows people. And I think he'll deliver.
:'''Jimmy''': You're kidding! 
:'''Kim''': I know! How great is that?
:'''Jimmy''': This is unbelievable. ''[Kim laughs]'' Are we on a roll, or are we on a roll? Jeez! 
:'''Kim''': ''[beat]'' You ever feel like you're being followed? ''[pause]'' When I dropped Wendy off at the motel, she thought she was being watched by some undercover cops. But then when I drove away... that same car was behind ''me.'' Right after I spotted them, they disappeared.
:'''Jimmy''': Well, you know what they say: The wicked flee where no man pursueth. 
:'''Kim''': ...You think we're wicked?
:'''Jimmy''': No. What? ''[chuckles]'' It's just a turn of phrase. I think you're wicked hot. ''[pause]'' Alright. Listen to the voice of experience, okay? You know why you're feeling like this? Because we got away with it. It seems too good to be true, but trust me. Nobody is following you. ''[takes Kim's hand]'' No one knows what we're doing except for us. Okay?
:'''Kim''': ''[pause]'' Okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy confronts Bill Oakley at the courthouse when he notices his colleagues' cold treatment of him]''
:'''Jimmy''': What the hell is going on?! How come everyone's treating me like I'm covered in oozing pus sores?
:'''Bill''': I liked you better when you were just a regular bottom feeder. But this?
:'''Jimmy''': This? What is, &quot;this?&quot;
:'''Bill''': I understand advocating for your client. Deep in my heart, I get it. But you scammed the court. You scammed the judge, and for what? To get a murdering cartel psychopath back out on the street? It's just... wrong.
:'''Jimmy''': That's a lot of big talk, Bill. Prove it. Prove it, Bill!
:'''Bill''': There's proving, and then there's knowing. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mike''': They're gone.
:'''Kim''': I'm sorry?
:'''Mike''': The two men that were following you. They're gone.
:'''Kim''': Do I know you?
:'''Mike''': Would you mind sitting for a moment, and I will answer any questions I can. ''[pause; Kim sits down next to Mike]'' I have men watching you and your husband. I'm not with the police, and as far as I know, they're not investigating either of you. I ''do'' know that you've been up to a few things that you probably would rather keep private. I don't care. That's not what this is about. I'm trying to solve a problem of my own. 
:'''Kim''': What problem?
:'''Mike''': Lalo Salamanca.
:'''Kim''': Lalo Salamanca's dead. ''[beat; Mike says nothing and stares at Kim]'' He... isn't.
:'''Mike''': We're watching anyone he might contact. That includes you and your husband. Most likely, he'll never reach out. He's got bigger fish to fry. But in the thousand to one chance that he does...
:'''Kim''': And who do you work for?
:'''Mike''': I said I would answer anything I can. 
:'''Kim''': ''[long pause]'' [[w:Bagman (Better Call Saul)|You're the guy from the desert]]. The one who was out there with Jimmy. Why are you telling me this and not him?
:'''Mike''': Because I think you're made of sterner stuff. ''[pause; gets up]'' Alright. Now here's what's best for everyone. You spot my guys again—which I'm hoping you won't—let them go about their business. Just pretend they're not there. And pretty soon, they won't be. You and your husband just... go on living your lives. ''[starts to leave]''
:'''Kim''': I do know you. You worked in the parking booth at the courthouse. ''[pause]'' You were the attendant.
:'''Mike''': ...I was.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kim meets Jimmy at a strip mall where an office space is available for lease]''
:'''Kim''': What are we doing here?
:'''Jimmy''': Take a look. What do you think?
:'''Kim''': About what?
:'''Jimmy''': My new office. Potentially. Come on.
:''[They both peer through the storefront windows of the office, which is empty except for a lone toilet]''
:'''Kim''': Huh.
:'''Jimmy''': Mrs. Nguyen kicked me to the curb.
:'''Kim''': What? Why?
:'''Jimmy''': It's a long story, but upshot is she wants me out of there with extreme prejudice.
:'''Kim''': Wow. Bad day, huh?
:'''Jimmy''': Well, no. It was a... great day. With actual paying clients. The word is out! People were throwing cash retainers at me just to say Saul Goodman is their lawyer.
:'''Kim''': Because of who you represented.
:'''Jimmy''': Well, I mean, that's part of it. But the bottom line is I need a new place for new business pronto. Now, this place is a shithole, but the price is right. And I think I can talk the landlord into a month-to-month. So, it's temporary until I find something better. ''[sighs; pause]'' Hey. What do you think?
:'''Kim''': ''[beat]'' It's small. It's... dirty. And this whole place smells funny. ''[pause]'' But the courthouse is five blocks away. You can't get to MDC without driving past. Parking is good, bail bond row isn't far, and uh... Taco Cabeza is just around the corner. Might be a diamond in the rough. Just promise me... you won't move the toilet.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[chuckles]'' There it is. Alright. Uh... speaking of Taco Cabeza.
:'''Kim''': I'm starving. Let's do it.

=== ''[[w:Black and Blue (Better Call Saul)|Black and Blue]]'' [6.05] ===
:''[Cliff informs Howard about witnessing Jimmy throw Wendy out of Howard's car]''
:'''Howard:''' I threw a woman out of my car? In the middle of the street? And I&amp;ndash;''zip''&amp;ndash;I just drive right past you? I... That's what you're saying? I-I-I don't even... I don't know how to respond to that.
:'''Cliff:''' I'm not asking you to respond. I just need you to know that ''I'' know. 
:'''Howard:''' It wasn't me, Cliff. Whoever you think you saw&amp;ndash;
:'''Cliff:''' Yeah, sorry, but that's the kind of thing my son used to say. It was your Jaguar, your &quot;Namaste&quot; plate. It was you! Howard, there's no harm in asking for help. You got a lot of people in your corner.
:'''Howard:''' So there's the-the baggie at the county club.
:'''Cliff:''' Yes.
:'''Howard:''' After that, some clients&amp;ndash;who you can't name because of privilege&amp;ndash;make insinuations. Then on Thursday, you have a business meeting and you witness a Jaguar speeding past. ''[beat]'' Who were you meeting with?
:'''Cliff:''' Not sure why that's germaine, but... Kim Wexler. She came to me for career advice.
:''[Howard's face becomes awash with realization]''
:'''Howard:''' ''Mmm.'' All right. ''[pause]'' Okay. ''[takes out his cell phone]'' Of course. ''[scoffs]'' Of course. ''[to Cliff]'' Cliff, I know this wasn't easy for you. You came to me as a friend. I appreciate it.
:'''Cliff:''' You can start today, Howard.
:'''Howard:''' Oh, I will. Because you're right, I ''do'' have a problem. Just not the problem you think. I have a Jimmy McGill problem.
:'''Cliff:''' Jimmy McGill?!
:'''Howard:''' You'll have to excuse me.
:'''Cliff:''' Howard!
:'''Howard:''' ''[to his secretary on the phone]'' Julie. Cancel my week. Yes, my whole week. 
:'''Cliff:''' Howard!
:''[Howard climbs into his Jaguar and drives away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy walks into a boxing club and sees Howard, who pretended to be a potential client named &quot;Mr. Ward&quot;]''
:'''Howard''': Hello, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Mr. Ward, I presume. As in... H.O. Ward. That is really cute, Howard. So, wait. That means that you're the guy who shanked some dude in a rumble near Central Pen. ''[sighs]'' That's—that's very street of you. 
:'''Howard''': I thought it sounded like a Saul Goodman kind of case.
:'''Jimmy''': ...Alright, so what are we doing here? 
:'''Howard''': I'm tired, Jimmy. You and me, us. I'm tired of this. Aren't you? It's exhausting. ''[points at boxing ring behind him]'' Let's punch it out.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[chuckles]'' Are you kidding?
:'''Howard''': Dead serious. Hoping you might get it out of your system. Do I think it'll work? ''[shrugs]'' I don't know. Call it a Hail Mary. I have the gear, I rented the ring. It's just you and me... ''[points at the man standing behind Jimmy]'' and Macky to ref. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause]'' I am sorry, but have you lost your mind?
:'''Howard''': Actually, I'm as clear-headed as I've ever been in my life. You didn't even try to hide your tracks. The baggie of drugs at the country club, the clients you sent to discredit me, ''another'' prostitute.
:'''Jimmy''': Okay, once again as usual, I—
:'''Howard''': Please. I could go on. All roads lead back to you. It's Psych 101. You want to get caught. 
:'''Jimmy''': So what? Is this like pistols at dawn?
:'''Howard''': I'm trying to give you what you want. 
:'''Jimmy''': What I want? I don't... I think this is what ''you'' want. You wanna beat the shit out of me? Legally? 
:'''Howard''': I think you can hold up your end. You must've gotten into a few good scrapes in your old neighborhood. 
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, right. I could've been a contender. 
:'''Howard''': Indulge me. Let's see what we see. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause; smiles]'' Thanks for the laughs. ''[chuckles]'' &quot;Mr. Ward.&quot; 
:''[Jimmy laughs and starts to walk out, but stops. He and Howard are seen suited up with boxing gloves as they begin their fight. They both land a few punches on each other, but Howard eventually knocks Jimmy down]'' 
:'''Howard''': ''[to Jimmy]'' You've mistaken my kindness for weakness. I like to think that tonight made a difference. I like to think that this ends it. ''[pause; shakes his head]'' Probably not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': I should've left Howard standing there like a yutz. Instead I let him suck me into his game. Why did I do that?
:'''Kim''': You had your reasons. 
:'''Jimmy''': I did? Like what?
:'''Kim''': Because... you know. 
:'''Jimmy''': I know...?
:'''Kim''': ''[holds Jimmy's hand]'' You know what's coming next.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lalo has travelled to Germany using an alias, and meets Margarethe, Werner's widow, at a bar]''
:'''Margarethe''': I knew his work was dangerous. I never imagined such a thing, but... I suppose I try not to. 
:'''Lalo''': That is terrible. What kind of accident was it?
:'''Margarethe''': A cave-in.
:'''Lalo''': Cave-in?
:'''Margarethe''': He was able to save his men. He got them out, but then... the structure collapsed.
:'''Lalo''': So your husband was a hero.
:'''Margarethe''': ''[smiles]'' He would never accept that. My Werner was too humble.
:'''Lalo''': ...And what were they building there?
:'''Margarethe''': My husband didn't talk much about his work. It was very secretive. 
:'''Lalo''': Oh... I'm sure he must have told you something. 
:'''Margarethe''': The lawyers came to my house. I asked questions, they wouldn't say much.
:'''Lalo''': ''[shakes his head]'' Lawyers.
:'''Margarethe''': They went through Werner's things. Took anything that they called, uh... Oh, how do you say it? ''[pause]'' Proprietary? I'm sorry, my English is—
:'''Lalo''': Oh, it's excellent. 
:'''Margarethe''': I didn't care about it. All the boxes of folders, his papers. Why do I need all that stuff?
:'''Lalo''': And what about your husband's men? I mean, they must have said something to you.
:'''Margarethe''': Werner loved ''deine jungs''—his boys—but I never even met them. 
:'''Lalo''': What do you mean? Not even at the funeral?
:'''Margarethe''': You'd think they would want to pay respect to the man who saved their lives. They sent flowers, keepsakes, and so on... but not one of them showed his face. 
:'''Lalo''': Wow. That is... ''[sighs]'' It's just not right.

=== ''[[w:Axe and Grind | Axe and Grind]]'' [6.06] ===
:''[Casper, one of Werner's former workers, spots Lalo approaching his home while chopping wood]''
:'''Lalo''': ''Guten tag!''
:'''Casper''': ''Guten tag.'' ''[in German]'' This is private property. Who are you looking for? Are you lost?
:'''Lalo''': ''[in English]'' Yeah, sorry. I don't speak any German!
:'''Casper''': ''[in English]'' Are you lost?
:'''Lalo''': It's a beautiful place you have here. The air, it's just so... ''fresh!''
:'''Casper''': ...Do I know you?
:'''Lalo''': Well, I don't think we've ''officially'' met-
:''[Casper grabs his axe and runs inside a nearby wooden shed while Lalo draws his gun. Lalo searches when he's suddenly dropped by a blow from Casper]''
:'''Casper''': Who are you?! '''''Who are you?!'''''
:'''Lalo''': ''[strained]'' Ed-Eduardo... Salamanca! I'm not here for you... This is about Fring. Guh- I want to know... I want to know what he's building.
:'''Casper''': How did you find me?
:'''Lalo''': Ma- Marga... M-Margarethe Z-Ziegler.
:'''Casper''': What have you done to her?!
:'''Lalo''': Nothing, nothing. You sent her a gi- a gift. ''[pulls out a business card and shows it to Casper]''
:'''Casper''': ''Was ist das?''
:''[Lalo's hidden a razor blade behind the card. He springs up and cuts Casper's face, then grabs his axe and cuts his foot off]''
:'''Lalo''': ''[cheerfully] Carajo!'' I think you broke one of my ribs! ''[tosses Casper his belt]'' Here. Tie that off... before you bleed to death. ''You and I are gonna have a '''talk.'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy''': Holy shit! The Jackson Mercer Foundation, that's like... the good housekeeping seal of approval.
:'''Kim''': Well, it's not a done deal. Some of the foundation board members are flying in next week to meet the lieutenant governor at a luncheon in Santa Fe, so... they are inviting a select group of people with... Cliff called them, &quot;up-and-coming organizations,&quot; and uh... Yeah. Cliff thinks I have a good shot. 
:'''Jimmy''': A good shot? You have more than a shot! They are gonna love you on sight!
:'''Kim''': The only thing is the lunch is on D-Day.
:'''Jimmy''': So, what? That's—You don't have to be there on the day! Was Eisenhower on Omaha Beach? No. Kim, this is great, right? It's ''huge!''
:'''Kim''': ...It is pretty great! ''[laughs]''
:'''Jimmy''': Kim, this is fantastic! ''[kisses Kim]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy has Francesca call HHM and pose as a relative of a Sandpiper resident to get details about the upcoming mediation]''
:'''Jimmy''': What is the hold up?
:'''Francesca''': I just... I don't know if I'm comfortable. Is this even legal?
:'''Jimmy''': I'm sorry, which one of us went to law school? Because I can stand here and go through the ins and outs of what's quote-unquote legal with you, but we're on the clock.
:'''Francesca''': I just don't—
:'''Jimmy''': Francesca, let's get something straight, okay? We can't be holding a graduate seminar in constitutional law every time I give you something to do.
:'''Francesca''': But I—I'm not sure if—
:'''Jimmy''': You know what I'm paying you? It is above market. To whom much is given, much is expected! ''[takes out cell phone and starts dialing a number]''
:'''Francesca''': We're not gonna make a habit of this?
:'''Jimmy''': Of course not! Absolutely not. No, no, no. ''[gives phone to Francesca]'' Put it on speaker and let me... ''[moves closer]''
:'''HHM Employee #1''': Hamlin Hamlin McGill.
:'''Francesca''': Hi... there. I'm calling because my—my mother is... is—Well, I guess she's a—a client of yours. She lives in, uh, Sandpiper Assisted Living.
:'''HHM Employee #1''': Sandpiper, of course. Let me transfer you.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[to Francesca while she's on hold]'' It's just a phone call. 
:'''HHM Employee #2''': Good afternoon. Do you have a question about the Sandpiper case?
:'''Francesca''': ''[waits for Jimmy to nod]'' Yes. My mother's out of the facility in Amarillo. Says she's supposed to call in to some meeting on Thursday?
:'''HHM Employee #2''': Yes, you're talking about the mediation?
:'''Francesca''': That's it. The thing is, she's lost her dial-in instructions. ''[sighs nervously]'' I'm just looking everywhere and can't find them.
:'''HHM Employee #2''': I'd be happy to help you with that. It's very important to us that all the class members are fully looked in. What's your mother's name?
:'''Francesca''': ''[Tells name mouthed by Jimmy]'' Uh, Marnie Stuber. ''[watches Jimmy form the letters as she spells aloud]'' That's–that's S-T-U-B-E-R. ''[sighs nervously again when Jimmy forces her to smile]'' Oh, bless your heart. She'll be so relieved!
:'''HHM Employee #2''': Okay, it's very simple. The meeting is happening at our offices. So she just has to call the main line—the same number you called just now—press 7, and then enter the passcode. I can give that to you now. Do you have a pen?
:'''Francesca''': Uh... ''[Jimmy quickly takes out a pen]'' Y–yeah, I'm ready.
:'''HHM Employee #2''': Okay. It's 8-4-2-1-5-9. ''[Jimmy writes the numbers on his hand]'' 
:'''Francesca''': 8-4-2-1-5-9?
:'''HHM Employee #2''': That's right.
:'''Francesca''': Okay! Uh, thank you so much. Really appreciate it.
:'''HHM Employee #2''': Of course, take care. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[hangs up immediately]'' Was that so hard?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy sees the real Rand Casimiro at a liquor store wearing a cast that was not shown in the fake photos he shot earlier. He bolts out of there and gets in his car before being seen by the judge.]''
:'''Jimmy''': FUCK! ''[bangs on steering wheel and chuckles nervously before dialing Kim on his cell phone]''
:''[Cut to Kim driving on the highway to Santa Fe.]'' 
:'''Kim''': &quot;Ultimately, it's about equal justice, a system that works for everyone. A justice system that works for everyone, and what is more important than that?&quot; ''[hears phone ringing and answers it]'' Hey, Jimmy.
:'''Jimmy''': Flag on the play! You're not gonna believe this, but I just ran into Casimiro—the real one.
:'''Kim''': Oh, God.
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, and before you ask, he didn't shave his mustache. ''He broke his arm.'' 
:'''Kim''': Are you serious?
:'''Jimmy''': The guy has a giant cast on his left arm! And I checked all the pictures and you can see his arm in every single one of them! No cast, clear as day! 
:'''Kim''': Shit! SHIT!
:'''Jimmy''': I KNOW! I '''KNOW!''' Uh... But, hey. Hey, hey, look at it this way: If I hadn't seen him... I mean, that would've really—that really could've sunk us. Right? So, we're gonna pull the plug and we are going to live to fight another day.
:'''Kim''': ...What other day? 
:'''Jimmy''': Well, we'll figure it out. I promise, okay? So, just go. Just do your thing in Santa Fe, and we'll regroup when you get home tonight. ''[beat; Kim says nothing]'' Kim? Kim, you still there? 
:'''Kim''': Yes.
:'''Jimmy''': Did you hear what I said?
:'''Kim''': ''[pause]'' It happens today. 
:''[Kim quickly turns around and starts driving back to Albuquerque.]''

=== ''[[w:Plan and Execution | Plan and Execution]]'' [6.07] ===
:''[An intern at HHM, Cary, drops soda cans when he sees Howard setting up the conference room for the Sandpiper mediation]''
:'''Cary''': Uh, excuse me, Mr. Hamlin! I-I was told I should restock the fridge before the meeting.
:'''Howard''': No worries. Here, let me give you a hand.
:'''Cary''': Thank you!
:'''Howard''': Uh, you're... Gary?
:'''Cary''': Cary! Anderson.
:'''Howard''': Mm... of course. Cary. ''[sees Cary stocking the fridge with the dropped cans]'' Cary, what happens when you drop or shake a can of soda?
:'''Cary''': ...Right. ''[mimes explosion]'' I'm sorry, I'm, uh...
:'''Howard''': Here, let me show you a little trick. ''[picks up and spins a soda can]'' Something about the centrifugal force pulls the bubbles from the inside of the can, stops it from exploding. Don't want our clients to get a surprise now, do we?
:'''Cary''': That works?
:''[Howard opens the can without incident and takes a sip]''
:'''Cary''': Alright!
:'''Howard''': You know who taught me that trick? ''[points at the picture of Chuck in the conference room]'' He used to do it. Had a habit - anytime he opened a can, almost unconsciously. I asked him about it once... just his way of being prepared for anything, accidental or otherwise. 
:'''Cary''': Um, I'm sorry, I'm... kinda new here. I- I have to ask, who is that?
:'''Howard''': Charles McGill. The &quot;M&quot; in HHM. Greatest legal mind I ever knew.
:'''Cary''': Wow! I hope someone says that about me someday.
:'''Howard''': Well... maybe there are more important things.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Howard, Cliff, and the rest of the parties in the Sandpiper mediation are in the HHM conference room; Rand Casimiro is seated at the head of the table; Jimmy and Kim listen in on the meeting through a disposable cell phone in Saul Goodman's office]''
:'''Rand Casimiro:''' Hello. I know we're all anxious to get things started but you'll have to suffer through my traditional spiel, unfortunately. My name is Rand Casimiro, and I am your mediator for these proceedings. Now, I'm happy to be here. But at the end, hopefully all of you in the room and those listening from various locations ''won't'' be happy with me. And why do I say that? Because the best solutions mean compromise. It's compromise from both sides. That's my goal. But as my wife always says, compromising doesn't mean I'm right and she's wrong. ''[chuckles]'' So, let us move forward—
:'''Howard:''' ''Hmph.''
:''[Everyone in the conference room turns to Howard]''
:'''Cliff:''' ...Howard?
:'''Howard:''' I-I'm... Wow. ''[pause]'' I'm... I'm sorry. I don't think we can proceed with these negotiations today.
:'''Rich:''' Why not?
:'''Howard:''' Well, let's just say, circumstances beyond any of our control.
:'''Rich:''' Well, I'm going to have to insist that you be more specific.
:'''Howard:''' Well, our mediator here keeps using the word &quot;compromise&quot; when ''he'', in fact, is compromised.
:'''Casimiro:''' I beg your pardon?
:'''Howard:''' I think you heard me.
:'''Cliff:''' Howard...?
:'''Howard:''' You drive a silver Miata, correct? 
:'''Casimiro:''' I do.
:'''Howard:''' And this morning, around 7 a.m., you walked across Trumbull Park in town?
:'''Casimiro:''' No. 
:'''Howard:''' You didn't stop at the park this morning?
:'''Casimiro:''' I didn't. I got to Albuquerque early, not at 7 a.m. And I didn't go to a park.
:'''Howard:''' You sure?
:'''Cliff:''' Howard, if the judge says he's sure, then I&amp;ndash;
:'''Casimiro:''' Of course I'm sure! If it matters, I arrived in town about ten, I stopped at a gas station, I went by a liquor store and bought a gift. I had a lunch salad and a very nice latté from the Flying Star on Menaul. I read ''[[w:Barron's_(newspaper)|Barron's]]''. Then came here.
:'''Howard:''' ''Mmmm''. So you weren't in town to visit our mutual acquaintance, James Morgan McGill? Or maybe you know him as &quot;Saul Goodman&quot;. 
:'''Casimiro:''' I don't know anyone by either of those names.
:'''Howard:''' Okay. You want to go that way? ''[to his secretary]'' Julie, go to my desk, please. There's an envelope with photos. Bring it to me quickly.
:'''Julie:''' Oh. Okay. ''[leaves]''
:'''Cliff:''' Howard, can we have a sidebar&amp;ndash;?
:'''Casimiro:''' I'm sorry. These photos &amp;ndash; these are photos of me? 
:'''Howard:''' They show exactly what I'm describing.
:'''Casimiro:''' You were following me?
:'''Howard:''' I had a private investigator following Jimmy McGill. You were photographed receiving what I estimate to be a $20,000 payoff this morning in the park.
:'''Rich:''' I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is just&amp;ndash; ''[sighs; to Howard]'' You recommended this judge as a mediator and we agreed. And now... ''Jimmy?'' Jimmy McGill &amp;ndash; who originated this suit &amp;ndash; is ''what?'' 
:'''Howard:''' A-admittedly, it all sounds a bit baroque. But when you see the photos, things will be clearer.
:'''Casimiro:''' Well, I'm looking forward to that.
:''[long pause; Julie enters the room with the envelope]''
:'''Julie:''' I have the pictures, Mr. Hamlin. 
:'''Howard:''' Thank you, Julie. ''[opens the envelope]'' And now, take a look.
:''[Howard looks at the photos with Cliff, Schweikart, Casimiro, Irene and Julie looking behind him. Instead of an actor dressed as Casimiro as he had seen earlier, the photos show Jimmy sitting at a park bench exchanging a frisbee with the Sound Guy, dressed as a jogger]''
:'''Casimiro:''' ...Is that supposed to be ''me''?
:'''Howard:''' I, uh... This is... This is not... Julie, you got the wrong envelope.
:'''Julie:''' That was the only one on your desk.
:'''Howard:''' Look again!
:''[Julie leaves]''
:'''Howard:''' They-they've been switched. Somehow he switched them.
:'''Cliff:''' Howard...
:'''Howard:''' No. Jimmy &amp;ndash; he snuck in somehow, and these are not the pictures I saw.
:''[Howard turns to Erin, who notices that his pupils are now dilated]''
:'''Erin:''' Mr. Hamlin, are you all right? Your eyes...
:'''Howard:''' ''[agitated]'' I am fine! This is all something that will be sorted out, I am confident!
:''[Cliff rises and guides Howard out of his seat]''
:'''Cliff:''' I think a recess is in order.
:'''Howard:''' Nobody move! Evidence has been tampered with!
:'''Cliff:''' Now Howard, please!
:''[Howard and Cliff leave the conference room. Everyone left behind is stunned silent]''
:'''Irene:''' ...Is this how these usually go?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cliff confronts Howard in his office after the fiasco in the conference room]''
:'''Howard:''' Cliff? Is that you? I'm not crazy, and I'm not on drugs. Please, come in. Now somehow, some way, that son of a bitch gave me something that dilated my pupils. I-I don't know what. But it's wearing off already, look. ''[gestures toward his eyes]'' 
:'''Cliff:''' You say that Jimmy McGill drugged you? How is that possible?
:'''Howard:''' The-the photos. They were wet with... ''something''.
:'''Cliff:''' The missing photos.
:'''Howard:''' Yeah. My P.I., Genidowski, had to have been in on it. He-he must have shown me one set of photos and then switched them after I left the office. 
:'''Cliff:''' Howard...
:'''Howard:''' Three weeks ago, Julie got a call from our detective agency. They wanted to update their contact info, so of course she changed the number in the system. But it turns out, it wasn't them. That was Jimmy. So when I needed an investigator to follow Jimmy, I called his fake number and his fake man. She just dialed the old number and, of course, got the actual agency. And, no surprise, no one by the name of Genidowski had ever worked there. I hired a con man. I got played. Every step of the way. I know what it sounds like, but you have to believe me.
:'''Cliff:''' I... It doesn't matter. Rich went back to the previous offer. I'll give a recommend to the class that we take it.
:'''Howard:''' No. No way. We do not let Jimmy win this.
:'''Cliff:''' Why would Jimmy even do this? He's a profit participant! This means less money for him!
:'''Howard:''' Because he's a child! He wants his money now! He begged me months ago to settle! You know what he does!
:'''Cliff:''' Whatever the truth is, we'll never get back to where we were before mediation. We have to settle.
:'''Howard:''' I'm lead attorney. And I won't sanction that decision.
:'''Cliff:''' Then I'm obligated to go to the partners and explain everything I've seen &amp;ndash; all of it. You think you're gonna be able to convince them it was all Jimmy McGill?
:'''Howard:''' ...Okay then. We go to trial. Cliff, this case is incredibly strong. I put this thing in front of a jury, then everything will&amp;ndash;
:'''Cliff:''' I'm not thinking about you, Howard. I'm not thinking about Jimmy. I'm thinking about the time, the expense, the uncertainty. I'm thinking about our clients!
:''[Howard bows his head in defeat.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lalo records a video message for Eladio while he's hiding in the sewers surveilling Gus' laundromat. The dialogue switches between Spanish and English.]''
:'''Lalo''': Don Eladio. Guess who?  It's Lalo, I'm alive! ''[chuckles]'' I'm here in beautiful downtown Albuquerque. ''[pans the camera around his belongings]'' Been here... four nights? Now, you may be asking, &quot;What am I doing down in this shithole?&quot; Well, [[w:Axe and Grind|a little Croatian bird told me a secret]]. Eh, he put up a hell of a fight, but he told me. Look. ''[points the camera at his target, Lavanderia Brilliante]'' See that? Right there... Fring's secret. Now, I've been watching and Fring hides his guards very well, but they're there, dressed like laundry workers. ''[zooms in on one &quot;worker&quot;]'' See? That's one there. They're hiding guns under the uniforms, but I see. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm up against. ''[points the camera back at himself]'' I can tell you what's in there. A big hole where a German engineer, Werner Ziegler, designed the perfect place to hide the... ''[in English]'' &quot;mother of all meth labs.&quot; ''[in Spanish]'' Well, that's my story. And Fring? Fring will have his story, a good one, and Bolsa will back him because he's an... ''[in English]'' &quot;earner.&quot; ''[in Spanish]'' So tonight, I go in... kill all the guards and show you the proof. And then? You decide... ''Adios.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy and Kim are watching a movie in Kim's apartment when they hear a knock at the door. It's revealed to be Howard, disheveled and holding a bottle of Macallan scotch whisky.]''
:'''Howard:''' Can I come in? 
:'''Jimmy:''' Yeah. Come on.
:'''Howard:''' Kim.
:'''Kim:''' Howard. You doing okay?
:'''Howard:''' I'm fine. Sorry to interrupt this, but I brought you a gift.
:'''Jimmy:''' A gift? What's the occasion?
:'''Howard:''' Your brother and I, we always had a meeting with Mr. Macallan after a big victory. Usually some brilliant summation by Chuck, that goes without saying. So this, this is for you. You earned it. You won.
:'''Jimmy:''' Won? Uh, what did I win?
:'''Howard:''' ''[pause]'' I get it. Of course you both have to play it this way. You're both so very good at it. 
:'''Kim:''' It's late, Howard. Do you want to tell us what this is about?
:'''Howard:''' I was wondering that too. ''[walks to the kitchen]'' What it's all about. I mean, what do you tell yourselves? What justification makes it okay? &quot;Howard's such an asshole that he deserves it?&quot; ''[offers two glasses to Jimmy and Kim]'' 
:'''Jimmy:''' We're good.
:'''Howard:''' So, what is it? I sided with Chuck too often? ''[points to Kim]'' I took away your office, put you in doc review? All of the above? Howard's daddy helped him get to the top, but you both had to struggle. &quot;Howie has so much and we have so little, let's take him down a peg or two.&quot; What allows you to do this to me? Because this isn't just a prank. No. This goes beyond [[w:Namaste (Better Call Saul)|throwing bowling balls on my car]]. This took planning, coordination. I mean, how many weeks? Or-or-or was it months? It couldn't have been easy. So tell me, why? Why go through this elaborate plot just to burn me to the ground?
:'''Jimmy:''' &quot;Burn you to the ground?&quot; Howard, come on. Y-you'll be fine. You always land on your feet.
:'''Howard:''' Yeah, sure. The Sandpiper settlement—HHM's share will be substantial, absolutely. Even though I humiliated myself. And my clients and peers will whisper that Howard Hamlin's a drug addict. You're right. I've worked my way through worse. Debt. Depression. My marriage falling apart.
:''[Jimmy blinks in surprise. He and Kim exchange looks]''
:'''Howard:''' Oh, yeah. Been sleeping in the guest house for the better part of a year. Just one more thing that good ol' Howard has to work through. But yes, I will land on my feet. I will be okay. But you? Far from it. You two... you two are soulless. Jimmy, you can't help yourself. Chuck knew it. You were ''born'' that way. ''[to Kim]'' But you—one of the smartest and most promising human beings I've ever known, and ''this'' is the life you choose. 
:'''Jimmy:''' Alright, you're too tight to drive, I'm calling a cab—
:'''Howard:''' Oh good, phony compassion. And you know what? Very, very believable. But I'm far from done.
:'''Kim:''' Oh no no no. You are done, Howard. Sorry, but you need to stop this now and you need to go home.
:'''Howard:''' You're perfect for each other. You have a piece missing. I-I-I thought you did it for the money, but it-it—Now it's so clear. Screw the money, you did it for fun! You get off on it! You're like [[w:Leopold and Loeb|Leopold and Loeb]], two sociopaths—
:'''Jimmy:''' Alright, that's enough.
:'''Howard:''' Oh, you know it's true, you just don't have the guts to admit it.
:'''Kim:''' Great. Now you need to go.
:'''Howard:''' I'm gonna make it clear to everyone, because I'm going to dedicate my life to making sure that everybody knows the truth. Believe it. You can't hide who you really are forever.
:''[Jimmy reflexively shields Kim as Lalo Salamanca enters the room; Jimmy is stunned]''
:'''Jimmy:''' How...
:''[Howard turns around and see Lalo, who non-chalantly stands next to him]''
:'''Kim:''' H-Howard... Howard. Howard, you need to leave.
:'''Howard:''' ''[to Lalo]'' Who are you?
:'''Lalo:''' Me? Nobody. I just need to talk to my lawyers.
:'''Howard:''' ''[scoffs]'' Oh, is that right? You want some advice? Find better lawyers.
:'''Kim:''' Howard, please j-just... just... just turn around—
:'''Lalo:''' No, no, no, no, no. Take your time.
:'''Howard:''' ''[to Kim]'' What's this about? 
:''[Lalo calmly takes a pistol out of his pocket and screws a silencer onto the muzzle]''
:'''Kim:''' ''[to Lalo]'' Please... please, just tell us what you want.
:'''Lalo:''' ''[shrugs]'' Like I said. To talk.
:'''Howard:''' I, uh... I think I'm in the middle of something, uh... There's really no need to—
:''[Lalo puts the gun to Howard's head and pulls the trigger; Howard falls onto the floor, killed instantly. Jimmy and Kim scream.]''
:'''Kim:''' ''Oh my God!''
:'''Jimmy:''' ''Please, no!''
:'''Kim:''' ''Oh my God!''
:'''Jimmy:''' ''No! No!''
:'''Lalo:''' ''[holds out his hand to quiet them down]'' ''Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.'' Okay. Let's talk.

=== ''[[w:Point and Shoot (Better Call Saul) | Point and Shoot]]'' [6.08] ===
:''[Jimmy and Kim are cowering in terror when Lalo forces them to sit on their couch]''
:'''Jimmy''': I never turned on you. I didn't. I only worked for you in the desert. I was on your side the whole time.
:'''Lalo''': Shhh. ''[motions for Jimmy to sit down with his gun]'' I don't care. You two... ''[chuckles; shakes his head]'' God, you two and your mouths! ''Dios mío!'' Now, ''you listen.'' ''[tosses car keys to Jimmy]'' My car's downstairs. Press the clicker, and you'll find it. This... ''[holds up small piece of paper]'' is where you are going. Don't speed, don't weave, don't cut anyone off. Just, you know, drive nice. From here, ''[checks watch]'' at this hour... I'd take 40 east, get off at Carlisle, take the third left. The rest I drew a little map for you on the back. It's not hard. So... big white brick house with a solid black door. You can't miss it. It's right at the end of the T. Park a little down the street and not up front. It's a quiet neighborhood, so you'll have plenty of options. Stating the obvious here maybe, but... turn the car off, right? So, in the glove compartment, I left you a present. There's a camera and there's a gun. And you're gonna need both.
:'''Jimmy''': A gun?
:'''Lalo''': Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't worry. I mean, it's–it's easy. It's a revolver. It's already loaded, no safety—it's idiot proof. So, you go up to that house, you walk right up to that black door. Don't run. Just be casual like a stroll, you know? Keep the gun somewhere behind you where they can't see it. You ring the bell, you count to three, you step back. They look through the peephole, you're as innocent as can be. Door opens, you point... and you shoot. And you keep on pulling that trigger until it's empty. ''[pause]'' Simple. 
:'''Jimmy''': You–you want me to—?!
:'''Lalo''': I know, I know. ''[casually nudges Howard's dead body with his foot]'' You're a lawyer, and you're not a killer. But look, you can do this, okay? This guy, he's a housecat! Black, medium height, short hair, glasses! He kinda looks like a librarian... but don't be fooled. Even a housecat can scratch. So, that's it. Hard part's over. Now, you pull out the camera. Same principle as the gun: Point and shoot. Take a picture. One where I can see the face ''clearly''... and then you bring it back here where, me and Mrs. Goodman will be waiting for you. And then you're done! I'd say it's about a twenty minute drive over there... ''[Jimmy looks nervously at Kim]'' twenty minutes back. Maybe ten minutes to do the job. Let's go with an hour altogether. So, you're back here in an hour, or—
:''[Jimmy forcibly turns on the Saul Goodman charm]''
:'''Jimmy''': Send her.
:'''Kim''': ...What?! 
:'''Jimmy''': She should do it.
:'''Kim''': Jimmy...
:'''Lalo''': ''[pause]'' Why her? 
:'''Kim''': ''[whispers to Jimmy]'' Don't do this.
:'''Jimmy''': This guy, the–the housecat.
:'''Kim''': Jimmy, please.
:'''Jimmy''': He looks through his peephole... 
:'''Kim''': ''Please.''
:'''Jimmy''': ...in the middle of the night, and he sees me? &quot;Who's this asshole? What's he doing?&quot; Maybe–maybe he gets ''his'' gun, maybe he calls the cops. Either way, that door stays shut. But he sees a woman...
:'''Kim''': No.
:'''Jimmy''': ...she looks like she's in distress. Maybe her car broke down. ''[chuckles]'' I mean, you'd open the door for her, wouldn't you?
:'''Kim''': Stop! Stop!
:'''Lalo''': Yeah, but... she's really clever. I don't know if she's gonna stick to the plan.
:'''Jimmy''': She will.
:'''Kim''': No, no, no.
:'''Jimmy''': No cops. You know she will.
:'''Kim''': No. No, this... This doesn't even make any sense! I–I–I've never shot a gun before! I've never even held one!  
:'''Jimmy''': Like I have.
:'''Kim''': Jimmy, what are you doing?! 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[to Lalo while pointing at Kim]'' You know she's the best choice.
:'''Kim''': No, I'm not! I don't—I can't! I can't do it! 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[to Lalo]'' She can do it. You know she can do it!
:'''Kim''': No! Jimmy, I'll stay! Stop! Just stop! 
:'''Jimmy''': You know I'm right! Listen! 
:'''Kim''': Stop it! Shut up! 
:'''Jimmy''': Listen! 
:'''Kim''': SHUT UP!
:'''Lalo''': ''[rolls his eyes]'' Oh, my God! Okay, fine! Yeah, heard! Whatever. Give her the keys, give her the address, let's go. ''[walks toward the front door]'' 
:'''Kim''': ''[to Jimmy]'' No. Don't... Don't.
:'''Jimmy''': You... you gotta go.
:'''Kim''': ''[softly]'' Don't do this.
:'''Jimmy''': Come on. Hey... ''[whispering]'' Let's go.
:''[Kim reluctantly gets up and is about to leave the apartment when Lalo stops her]''
:'''Lalo''': Hold on. ''[pause; Kim looks at him]'' You're gonna need your shoes, right? 
:''[Kim stares at Jimmy while she puts her shoes on]'' 
:'''Lalo''': There you go! Okay, ''[looks at watch]'' so one hour starting... now. Clock's ticking, Mrs. Goodman.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lalo ties Jimmy to a chair while interrogating him about the assassination attempt at his hacienda]'' 
:'''Lalo''': You know, after I saw you last, I went home. My home. ''Mi cielito lindo''... And you know what happened? Men came. Armed men, in the middle of the night. To my home. Trying to get to me. And you know what they did? They killed people I care about. They killed my cook. My gardener. A seventeen-year-old kid I knew since he was knee-high, never hurt a fly. Butchered my housekeeper, Yolanda. ''Una viejita, cabrón.'' They shot her in the back. 
:'''Jimmy''': ...I'm sorry.
:'''Lalo''': Now, how did these men... get into my home? Do you know? 
:'''Jimmy''': I... I have–I have no idea.
:'''Lalo''': Ignacio Varga. ''He'' let them in. And who did Ignacio introduce me to? ''[taps Jimmy's head]'' You.
:'''Jimmy''': Ignacio... Nacho? ''[brief pause]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa! I–I barely know Ignacio! Whatever he did, he did alone! Not with me! Listen, you gotta believe me! Hand to God, I had no part in this—it wasn't me! ''It was '''Igna—''''' 
:''[Lalo sneaks up from behind and gags Jimmy with a rolled-up shirt]''
:'''Jimmy''': ''[through the gag]'' Ignacio! It's not me! Listen, listen! I–I don't know about...
:'''Lalo''': Save it. ''[looks Jimmy in the eyes]'' I'm gonna come back. And then you... are gonna tell me ''the whole story.''
:''[Lalo presses play on the movie Jimmy and Kim were watching earlier and turns up the volume. He picks up Jimmy's car keys by the front door.]''
:'''Lalo''': Ford Taurus... taupe? ''[rolls eyes and shakes his head before leaving the apartment]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mike disarms Kim and forces her inside Gus' house before she can shoot. Gus watches Mike question her through surveillance monitors at his neighbors' residence.]''
:'''Kim''': What are you doing?! I–I have to go! I have to—No, wait! 
:'''Mike''': Ms. Wexler, I'd like you to sit down.
:'''Kim''': He'll–He'll kill him! You have to... You—
:'''Mike''': Now, sit there and be calm!
:'''Kim''': No, I have to get back! ''I have to get back!''
:'''Mike''': ''[restrains Kim and forces her back down]'' Sit ''still''... and stay calm. Now, if you take a deep breath—a ''deep'' breath—nothing's gonna happen here until you calm yourself. Alright? Now, who is killing who?
:'''Kim''': Lalo Salamanca! Lalo is going to kill Jimmy! ''[Mike looks shocked]'' He's there! He–he is there with Jimmy now!
:'''Mike''': Salamanca is at your apartment?!
:'''Kim''': Yes! He sent ''me!'' He–he wanted to send Jimmy, but then he sent me.
:'''Mike''': To do what exactly?! ''[pause; Kim hyperventilates]'' Ms. Wexler, you stay with me! What were you supposed to do here?
:'''Kim''': ''[beat; points at a man who looks identical to Gus]'' Shoot him. I'm–I'm supposed to shoot him, and then take a photo, and then get back. That's it. I only have twenty minutes left! Please! ''[Mike quickly looks and nods at one of his guys]'' He is ''alone'' with him!
:'''Mike''': Alright, stay put. We'll handle this. We ''will'' handle this. ''[to Victor]'' You call Tyrus. Get him to the condo ''now.''
:'''Kim''': You said you were watching us! WHERE WERE YOU?! HUH?! ''[Mike leaves]'' '''WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!''' 
:''[Kim tries to get up, but Victor stands in her way and forces her to sit down again]'' 
:'''Victor''': You heard what the man said.
:''[Mike walks through the corridor connecting the two homes and reports to Gus.]''
:'''Mike''': You heard all that? ''[Gus nods]'' Alright. You hunker down here. ''[to two bodyguards]'' You two, you stay with him. A dog barks too loud, you are on the phone with me. ''[to Arthur and Tyrus]'' You two, come with me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After growing restless over Lalo's whereabouts, Gus calls Victor and asks him to speak to Kim about Lalo]''
:'''Gus''': Why did Lalo send you?
:'''Kim''': Who is this? 
:'''Victor''': Answer him. ''[points behind him]''
:'''Kim''': ''[pause]'' He didn't want to send me. Not at first. He wanted to send my husband... but my husband talked him out of it because he wanted to get me out of there.
:'''Gus''': He... talked Lalo out of it?
:'''Kim''': That's right. ''[pause]'' Now that I've told you everything I know, please tell me. Tell me who—
:''[Gus hangs up the phone and looks at his bodyguards]'' 
:'''Gus''': Come with me. Both of you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Lalo records another video message for Don Eladio while holding Gus at gunpoint at the laundromat. The dialogue is in Spanish.]''
:'''Lalo:''' Don Eladio, look who we have here. The one and only Gustavo Fring. ''[chuckles]'' And wearing body armor! Too bad they don't make armor for your head, eh? Now we're gonna take a little walk and show you around. ''Vamanos''. ''[clicks tongue]'' Don, I would've liked it if we didn't have to rush this so much. We could sit by your pool... strip this snake's skin off, inch by inch. Take our time, have some fun. But he shows up now... who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? 
:''[Gus stops in front of a large washing machine.]''
:'''Lalo:''' A big machine hides a big secret. We have about... thirteen minutes until his bald ''gringo'' gets here with the cavalry, so Gustavo is going to have to give us the nickel tour. ''[beat; shoots Gus in the chest]'' Like I was saying, Gustavo is going to show us around. 
:''[Gus walks around and pushes a button, which opens the secret passage to the underground meth lab]'' 
:'''Lalo:''' ''Ha!'' Magnificent! I had a bathtub that did this, but... credit where credit is due, this is better. ''[laughs]'' ''Hijo de puta''. 
:''[Gus leads Lalo down a ladder and turns on the lights]''
:'''Lalo:''' ''[chuckles; in English]'' Okay. Drumroll, please. ''D-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r''... Ta-da! ''[laughs]'' ''Cadenza de wow'', no? ''[in Spanish]'' Don Eladio, I've heard some stories about this place. It took a bunch of German engineers ten months to build all of this. They used two hundred pounds of high explosive. Dug out 120,000 cubic meters of dirt and rock. And all... without disturbing the laundry up there. In the middle of a city with a million people! That's pretty badass, right? 
:''[Gus trips and falls to the ground when Lalo pushes his pistol against his back]''
:'''Lalo''': One moment, Don. ''[puts the camcorder between his teeth as he switches the magazines of his pistol]'' Think of the laboratory you could put here, Don Eladio. ''Eh?'' How much meth you could make... that was his plan. Cut you out to become boss. And now here we are, in this big hole! ''[cackles]'' Gustavo thought he was building an empire, but all he built himself was a tomb. 
:'''Gus:''' You can't kill me.
:'''Lalo:''' Why not?
:'''Gus:''' I haven't told that fat pig Eladio what I think of him yet. 
:'''Lalo:''' ''Hoo-hoo!'' Perfect! You've got one minute. 
:'''Gus:''' Eladio... you greasy, bloated pimp. You talk of honor. But you have none. A pack of stray dogs fighting for scraps has more honor. Jackals. That's all you are! No vision. No patience. No thought. Stupid and impulsive! That is how I did all this. You couldn't see it, couldn't even conceive of it. And you Salamancas... you're the worst vermin of all. You say you believe in &quot;blood for blood&quot; but you only understand blood for money! You're whores! ''[in English]'' I understand blood for blood. Hector? Yeah, I kept him alive. Kept him broken. I will save him to the last. Before he dies, he will know... '''''I''' buried every one of you.'' 
:'''Lalo:''' ''[sniggers]'' Big talk. You done?
:'''Gus:''' No. Not yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jimmy:''' Lalo said he was coming back.
:'''Mike:''' He's not coming.
:'''Jimmy:''' No, he said he was, he told me—
:'''Mike:''' You understand me? He is ''not coming back.'' Let's sit. ''[pause; Jimmy and Kim remain standing]'' '''''SIT.'''''
:''[Jimmy and Kim sit at the foot of their bed; Mike stands in front of them.]''
:'''Mike:''' Alright. Here's what's gonna happen: In a few days, Howard Hamlin's car will be found several states away by the water. The odometer will have rolled to the exact number of miles it took to get there. There will be cocaine in the upholstery. That was the story you were setting up for this guy, yeah? They'll call it a suicide, hoping the body will come washing up. It never will. At some point, you're gonna hear about it. Someone calls you, someone at the courthouse mentions it—the moment that happens—you call the cops. His car was here for hours last night. Good chance somebody noticed it. That means you are the last people to see him alive. Cops are gonna want to hear from you. You tell the cops you saw him—he came here, seemed like maybe he was chemically altered, didn't make a lick of sense. Then he left, that's all you know. You keep telling the lie you've been telling. Now, Ms. Wexler tells me she has court at ten. What's on your docket? ''[Jimmy doesn't answer]'' Hey. ''Listen.'' Where do you need to be?
:'''Jimmy:''' Uh, office. At my office. Clients start showing up around 9:30. ''Oh'', my car is gone.
:'''Mike:''' No. It's on the way home, you'll have it when you need it. So you two are going to go about your day—normal, same as ever. Today, you're Meryl Streep and Laurence Olivier. No staring into space, nothing out of the ordinary, you ''cover.'' Anybody talks to you, it's just another day that ends in Y, that's all. When you get home, we'll be gone and everything will be back the way it was. Now, I need to impress upon you: none of this ever happened. None of it. Understand? Say it out loud, I need to hear it.
:'''Jimmy:''' ...I understand.
:'''Kim:''' ...It never happened.

=== ''[[w:Fun and Games (Better Call Saul) | Fun and Games]]'' [6.09] ===
:'''Jimmy''': One day, we'll... We'll wake up, and brush our teeth, and we'll go to work. And at some point, we'll suddenly realize... [[w:Bad Choice Road | that we hadn't thought about it at all. None of it]]. ''[pause]'' And that's when we'll know. We'll know we can forget.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Gus meets with Don Eladio, Juan Bolsa, and the Salamancas late at night. The dialogue is in Spanish.]''
:'''Eladio''': Don Hector has made a very serious accusation. 
:''[One of the Cousins hands a letter to Don Juan]'' 
:'''Bolsa''': These are Don Hector's words. Dictated to Leonel and Marco, letter by letter. &quot;The assault on my nephew's hacienda failed. Lalo fought the assassins and won. The day after the attack, Lalo called me. I heard the truth from his own lips. It was Fring who sent the mercenaries, not the Peruvians. We kept Lalo's survival a secret. My nephew was about to take his revenge on the traitor, face-to-face. Instead, he disappeared. It is the Chicken Man's doing. Don Eladio, look into Fring's eyes. There you will see the truth. The Chicken Man hates you. He is our enemy. He plots against us. I demand blood for blood.&quot;
:''[Bolsa folds the letter and sits back down]''
:'''Eladio''': Well, Gustavo?
:'''Gus''': ''[pause]'' I have no response.
:'''Bolsa''': Gustavo, you must speak. Have you no defense?
:'''Gus''': With all due respect, I don't believe this merits a response.
:'''Eladio''': Did you witness these phone calls from Lalo? ''[Leonel and Marco shake their heads]'' I was told you saw Lalo's body.
:'''Leonel''': Yes.
:'''Marco''': It was burned.
:'''Eladio''': Didn't the ''federales'' check the teeth?
:'''Bolsa''': Yes, Don Eladio. My brother tells me the dental records matched. 
:'''Eladio''': And that rat, Varga... What did he say before he died?
:'''Bolsa''': He said he was in the pay of the Peruvians, Los Odios. We know he took their money, we found bank statements.
:'''Eladio''': ''[beat; looks at his watch]'' Well... It's late. Don Hector... Since you've come a long way, tonight you sleep in my bed. ''[Hector angrily rings his bell repeatedly in protest]'' No, I insist. No arguing. I'm giving you my room. Very comfortable. And who knows? Maybe a couple of the girls will come to visit! ''[pause; Hector continues ringing his bell]'' Please. ''[Leonel and Marco carry Hector by his wheelchair and leave]'' Good night, Hector. Sleep well. ''[to Gus]'' I'd invite you to stay as well, Gustavo, but... I don't want my breakfast ruined by all the... ''[mocks Hector ringing his bell and laughs]'' Ay-yay-yay. ''[beat]'' The peace must be kept. What do you suggest?
:'''Gus''': I wouldn't presume.
:'''Eladio''': The South Valley will stay Salamanca territory. And the rest of the North, that'll be for you to manage. Working under Bolsa.
:'''Bolsa''': Thank you, Don Eladio.
:'''Gus''': ''[rises with Eladio out of his chair]'' Thank you. Your trust means everything, Don Eladio.
:'''Eladio''': ''Bueno.'' Gustavo... ''[long pause]'' When I looked into your eyes... Hate. A little bit's okay. As long as you never forget who's boss. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mike meets with Nacho's father outside his shop to let him know about Nacho's fate]''
:'''Manuel''': Who are you?
:'''Mike''': It's not important.
:'''Manuel''': I saw you here before. [[w:Cobbler (Better Call Saul)|Chrysler Fifth Avenue]]. What about my son?
:'''Mike''': I'm sorry, he won't be found. ''[pause]'' It was over fast. No pain.
:'''Manuel''': You were there?
:'''Mike''': I was there. Your son made some mistakes, he fell in with bad people... but he was never like them. Not really. He had a good heart. One more thing: you won't have to worry about the Salamancas. Their day is coming. There'll be justice.
:'''Manuel''': Justice?
:'''Mike''': I'm sorry, my Spanish - j-''justicia.'' Justice.
:'''Manuel''': ''[sighs]'' What you talk about... is not justice. What you talk of is... ''revenge.'' It never ends... my boy is gone. ''[scoffs, speaks in Spanish]'' You gangsters and your &quot;justice.&quot; You're all the same.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy and Kim approach Cliff and Howard's widow, Cheryl, at a memorial reception in the offices of HHM.]''
:'''Kim''': Cliff.
:'''Cliff''': Kim, Jimmy.
:'''Cheryl''': Kim, hi.
:''[Jimmy extends his hand to Cheryl, but she doesn't take it]''
:'''Jimmy''': Hi, Cheryl. I'm Jimmy McGill. You may not remember me. I'm Chuck McGill's brother.
:'''Cheryl''': Of course.
:'''Jimmy''': Very sorry for your loss. ''[sighs]''
:'''Kim''': Cheryl, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. If Jimmy and I can do anything for you or your family, please just say the word.
:''[Jimmy and Kim are about to walk away]''
:'''Cheryl''': There is something, actually. You two were the last ones to see him, weren't you?
:'''Kim''': Um...
:'''Jimmy''': I guess so. Uh, that's what the police said.
:'''Cheryl''': Howard told me that you were harassing him, playing elaborate pranks of some sort. That you wouldn't leave him alone.
:'''Jimmy''': I know he thought that. He—he—he told me as well. Um, I think he honestly believed it.
:'''Cheryl''': But you're denying it.
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause]'' You know what, I didn't leave here under the best terms. The past few years, I could have been more considerate to Howard instead of yitzing him every chance I got. I guess, uh, there was a certain amount of jealousy on my part because Howard had the, uh, respect of my brother. Which I never did. ''[Jimmy steps away]''
:'''Cheryl''': Tell me what you told the police. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[pause]'' Okay, um... Well, I mean, it was 11 p.m. Howard started pounding on our door. He was very upset, going on about something, um, he thought was my fault, uh... Guess it had to do with the Sandpiper case. But I—I couldn't make head or tail out of it. We tried to calm him down. But... he just—he just wouldn't, um... Finally, he left. That's—that's it.
:'''Cheryl''': I'm not oblivious. I know people are saying he was on drugs. Is that what you're trying to tell me?
:'''Jimmy''': I just... He just didn't seem like himself.
:'''Cheryl''': ''[to Cliff]'' Are you hearing all of this? Because none of it makes sense to me. 
:'''Cliff''': Cheryl, maybe we should just—
:'''Cheryl''': I don't care what people are saying. I don't care what the police think. Howard was not on drugs. That simply is not true. There's something more to this. 
:'''Kim''': I don't know if it's my place, but... I—I...
:'''Cheryl''': Please. Just spit it out. ''[sharply inhales]''
:'''Kim''': ''[sighs]'' It was about a year-and-a-half ago. I was still an associate here, working late on a brief. And I saw a light on in Howard's office. I assumed the cleaning crew left it on by mistake. And I was sure that office was empty, so I didn't knock.
:'''Cheryl''': ...And?
:'''Kim''': And Howard was there at his desk, head down. And he was snorting something. ''[Cheryl scoffs]'' I looked at him. He looked at me. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked out. And the next morning, when we saw each other, neither of us ever said anything about it. I never told anyone. But now I wish I had. 
:'''Cheryl''': ''[long pause; to Cliff]'' In all the years that you worked with him, have you witnessed anything like this? Even a hint? Cliff...
:'''Cliff''': I... Cheryl, this really isn't the time or the place.
:''[Cheryl begins to cry]''
:'''Kim''': Cheryl. You were his wife. You saw him every day. You knew him better than anyone. Maybe I misunderstood what I saw. You would have known. 
:'''Cheryl''': ''[voice breaking]'' Please excuse me.
:''[Cheryl retreats into a women's restroom]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kim and her client are sitting in a courtroom as the presiding judge, Gabriel Dearden, takes the bench]''
:'''Bailiff''': All rise. Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Dearden presiding.
:'''Judge Dearden''': Good afternoon. We are here to discuss a motion to exclude evidence in ''State of New Mexico vs. Yarborough''. 
:'''Kim''': ''[rises]'' Your Honor, if I may. I submitted an additional motion. I'm assuming you have not seen it yet.
:'''Judge Dearden''': Did we get that?
:'''Secretary''': It just came in, judge.
:''[The secretary approaches the bench and hands the motion to Judge Dearden]''
:'''Kim''': I apologize, it was a last-minute addition. 
:'''Judge Dearden''': &quot;Last minute&quot; is right. ''[pause; looks through the motion]'' Do I understand this correctly? You're requesting to withdraw from this case?
:'''Kim''': Yes, Your Honor. My client is fully informed. And I've already been in touch with another attorney, Paige Novick. She's highly qualified and familiar with the case. She's prepared to step if you'll allow it.
:'''Judge Dearden''': Ms. Wexler, Mr. Orenstein, approach the bench.
:''[Kim and the prosecutor do so]''
:'''Judge Dearden''': ''[to Kim]'' Ms. Wexler, we are here today at your insistence to consider your motion to exclude evidence. And this is the moment you choose to withdraw?
:'''Kim''': It was unavoidable.
:'''Judge Dearden''': May I ask why?
:'''Kim''': Personal reasons, Your Honor.
:'''Judge Dearden''': &quot;Personal reasons.&quot; Are we talking about a health issue, something to do with a loved one?
:'''Kim''': No.
:'''Judge Dearden''': Would you rather discuss privately in chambers?
:':'''Kim''': Thank you for the consideration, but no.
:'''Judge Dearden''': Would you care to supply any detail at all?
:'''Kim''': Your Honor, I prefer not to.
:'''Judge Dearden''': ''[pause; to Orenstein]'' ...Mr. Orenstein, is the state prepared to discuss Ms. Wexler's motion?
:'''Orenstein''': We are, Your Honor. Absolutely.
:'''Judge Dearden''': You know what, Ms. Wexler? Mr. Orenstein's here. I'm here. We all showed up for your party, and now you're taking away the punch bowl. I'm inclined to have you argue your motion, then I'll consider later writing petitions. 
:'''Kim''': I'm sorry for wasting the court's time, Your Honor, but it's impossible for me to continue with this hearing.
:'''Judge Dearden''': And why is that, Ms. Wexler?
:'''Kim''': Because I'm no longer an attorney. 
:'''Judge Dearden''': ''[brief pause]'' ...I'm sorry, what?
:'''Kim''': I gave notice to the bar two hours ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jimmy arrives home after hearing the news that Kim has quit her legal career]''
:'''Jimmy''': ''You did what?!'' Why?! ''WHY?!'' Alright, alright, I know why. But Kim, you can't just—
:'''Kim''': Jimmy, I—
:'''Jimmy''': ''Shhh!'' Just let me say my piece, okay? Just—Let's take a breath here! Kim, after everything that happened... I mean, Jesus! I get it! You want to climb out of your own skin! That's natural! But Kim, you don't just throw everything away! Th-th-this is your life! You're a lawyer! What about your clients, huh? What about, uh... that poor guy, Mr. Yarborough? What about the kid in foster care? Huh?! You give them everything you got! Who are they going to find who is half as good as you?! No one! They need you!
:'''Kim''': It's already done.
:'''Jimmy''': ''Ugh!'' ''[pause]'' Okay, what's done can be undone. All I'm saying is just—just let's take a week or two to think it over. For now, we're gonna take some time off. God knows we need it. We're gonna to find a new place, we're—we're gonna leave here. We're never, ever gonna come back here again. Okay? We're gonna—we're gonna put it behind us! Things will look brighter! I guarantee it! But first we have to fix this. So we're gonna go back to the hotel room, and you're gonna write letters. You're gonna write a letter to the bar, you're gonna write letters to your clients. You—you—you dictate, I will type. We're gonna roll this thing back. I'll order a pizza, we'll pull an all-nighter. Because we're in this together. Okay? So I'm gonna go get your—your printer, and then we're gonna get the hell out of here.
:''[Jimmy turns to head into the bedroom]''
:'''Kim''': Wait—Jimmy. Jimmy!
:''[Jimmy enters the bedroom to discover half-full boxes and luggage everywhere]''
:'''Kim''': You asked if you were bad for me. That's not it. We are bad for each other. 
:'''Jimmy''': Kim... Don't do this. Kim, please.
:'''Kim''': Jimmy... ''[holding back tears]'' I have had the time of my life with you. But we are bad for everyone around us. Other people suffer because of us. Apart we're okay, but together we're poison. 
:'''Jimmy''': ''[shakes his head]'' No, no. Just tell me what I need to do to change, okay? Just tell me what it is, and I'll do it. 
:'''Kim''': Jimmy...
:'''Jimmy''': No, Kim. You make me happy. We make each other happy. How can that be bad? Hey... I love you.
:'''Kim''': I love you, too. ''[voice breaking]'' But so what? 
:'''Jimmy''': No. No. No, Kim, you're wrong! ''This is about '''Howard!''''' Okay?! What happened to him wasn't on us! It wasn't your fault! It wasn't ''my'' fault! It was that ''fucking Lalo Salamanca!'' That psychopath came back from the dead and he walked through that door! He did this! Not us, ''him!'' 
:'''Kim''': I knew.
:'''Jimmy''': You knew wh-what?
:'''Kim''': I knew he was alive.
:'''Jimmy''': No, you didn't.
:'''Kim''': It was about a month ago. I saw that car following me again. And it turned out that Mike Ehrmantraut had guys watching both of us, watching for Lalo. 
:'''Jimmy''': Mike... Mike told you that Lalo was alive? ''[Kim nods]'' And you didn't tell me?
:'''Kim''': ''[pause]'' Jimmy... I thought... I thought it was a one-in-a-million chance that he'd come for us. I thought he would be caught if he did. And I told myself I was protecting you. But that's not the truth. The reason I didn't tell you was because I knew what you'd do.
:'''Jimmy''': Wh-what would I do?
:'''Kim''': You'd—you'd blame yourself. You'd fear for me. You'd want us to run and hide until you were sure I was safe. You would pull the plug on the scam, and then... ''[pause]'' and then, we'd break up. And I didn't want that. Because I was having too much ''fun!''
:''[Kim breaks down crying and returns to the bedroom to pack; Jimmy stands in the living room in silence]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Saul''': Alright. [[w:Chicanery (Better Call Saul) | Let justice be done, though the heavens fall]].

=== ''[[w:Nippy (Better Call Saul) | Nippy]]'' [6.10] ===
:''[Saul, now going by Gene Takavic, is confronted by Jeff after he unexpectedly shows up at his home]''
:'''Jeff''': Dude, what the fuck?!
:'''Saul''': I know, it's awkward, right? But you don't have to call me Dad. Yet.
:'''Jeff''': I don't know what this is about, but all I have to do is pick up the phone and it's &quot;Bye-bye, Saul Goodman.&quot;
:'''Saul''': Yeah, but you haven't picked up the phone yet, have ya? Or tried to strong-arm me for cash. And guess what? I know why. Because reward money—blackmail—that's not gonna tickle your pickle. I know what you really want. 
:'''Jeff''': Oh, yeah? What's that?
:'''Saul''': You want in the game.
:'''Jeff''': The game? What—what game?
:'''Saul''': The ''game.'' The one you've been watching your entire life. You got your nose pressed up against the glass, peering in while the big boys play.
:'''Jeff''': Speak English, man. What the hell are you talking about?
:'''Saul''': ''The game.'' It's right there. You can see it, but you can't touch it yet. ''[pause]'' Cars, clothes. The cash, the ladies. It's about knowing all the angles, you know? Putting it all on the line and winning ''big.'' But here you are, Jeffy. Standing outside with the suckers, trying to pay off that cab, sweating the bills. You're getting older. It's—it's so close, but dammit you just can't get in! Until now. I can make it happen.
:'''Jeff''': ''[beat]'' You?
:'''Saul''': Saul Goodman. ''[pause]'' So, here's the deal. I will show you the game, and then we're done. 
:''[Jeff stares at Saul for another moment before smiling]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Jeff runs around a maze in the outline of a mall. Saul, on a loudspeaker, shouts directions to him.]''
:'''Saul''': Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! One, Armani suits and run! Two, Air Jordan shoes for you! Three, linen shirts for free! Four, cashmere sweaters out the door! Five, Patagonias to survive! Six, swanky sweatsuits in the mix! HALT!
:''[Jeff stops, breathing heavily.]''
:'''Jeff''': What?!
:'''Saul''': That's too many, you gotta be precise! Just three of each.
:'''Jeff''': Why? And why do I gotta run around like an asshole?
:'''Saul''': I already told you! Three minutes, got it? That's our window!
:'''Jeff''': Yeah, but why three minutes?
:'''Saul''': Because at three minutes, that's when security sees you on the cameras and the cops haul your ass to jail, alright? So let's go.
:'''Jeff''': Wait, there's cameras?
:'''Saul''': Sure there's cameras! They erase the tapes every seventy-two hours, so that's why you only take three of each, and only the pricey stuff. When the store opens the next morning, they won't even know they were robbed. By the time they do inventory, abra cadabra, no more Jeffy on the tape! Right, so, three items, three minutes... It's easy. Let's go.
:''[Jeff walks back to the start of the maze.]''
:'''Saul''': How many of each?
:'''Jeff''': Three...
:'''Saul''': Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered!
:'''Jeff''': I don't know...
:'''Saul''': What don't you know?
:'''Jeff''': Just, this whole thing, it seems crazy!
:'''Saul''': Is this too hot for you?! Ju— You know what, just say so! You know what? Screw it. &quot;Crazy?&quot; I'll tell you what's crazy! [[w:Walter White (Breaking Bad) | Fifty-year-old high school chemistry teacher]] [[w:Breaking Bad | comes into my office. The guy is so broke, he can't pay his own mortgage. One year later, he's got a pile of cash as big as a Volkswagen.]] ''That's'' crazy.
:'''Buddy''': I'll do it.
:'''Jeff''': This sounds good to you?
:'''Buddy''': I think it'll work. 
:'''Saul''': Well, look at you! Hey, you're young. You're probably, uh... Fast in the feet, huh?
:'''Jeff''': Okay, I- I didn't say I wouldn't do it! I just... Had some questions about, like... Logistics.
:'''Saul''': Are you in or out?
:'''Jeff''': In.
:'''Saul''': ''[sighs]'' Okay, back to one. ''[He speaks into the loudspeaker as Jeff sets himself up.]'' Check, test, one-two, one-two.  Okay! And ready, set, action!
:''[Jeff begins running.]''
:'''Saul''': Move, move, move! Pick up the pace! Go, go, go! One, Armani suits and run! Two, Air Jordan shoes for you! Three, linen shirts for free! Four, cashmere sweaters out the door! Five, Patagonias to survive! Six, swanky sweatsuits in the mix! Let's go, let's go, let's go!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[On the night of the robbery, Saul watches Jeff through the mall cameras while one of the security guards, Frank, is eating a Cinnabon roll with his back facing the cameras.]'' 
:'''Saul''': How about that 44-21 win against the Cavs?
:'''Frank''': Be still my heart. ''[laughs]''
:'''Saul''': Seventy-six yard pass to Reggie Ball, and–and never sacked once. 
:'''Frank''': Wow, you have got quite the memory.
:'''Saul''': ...Yeah, well—I'll tell you what. I can remember every stitch of clothing I was wearing during that game, but ask me what I had for dinner and... ''[whistles]'' Clean slate.
:'''Frank''': Tell me about it! ''[Saul checks his stopwatch, which is at two minutes and fifteen seconds]'' Well, I'll tell ya: If you're not passing the ball, that's what's gonna happen. ''[eats another bite]'' Mmm! 
:''[Eventually, Jeff runs with the last round of clothes when he slips and falls. Saul chokes on his coffee.]''
:'''Frank''': You okay?
:'''Saul''': ''[coughs]'' Wrong pipe.
:'''Frank''': Oh, okay. So, you think our guys are gonna move to the Big Ten like they're sayin'?
:'''Saul''': ''[pause]'' Big Ten?
:'''Frank''': Yeah, you know, maybe they're just chasing the almighty dollar if you ask me. I mean, both powerhouses of course. But, you know what? You got Oklahoma and Texas over here. But Michigan, Ohio State over there! ''[Saul looks nervously at the cameras]'' I... I don't know. Guess  I like tradition. ''[chuckles; sighs as he takes yet another bite]'' So good. Just amazing. Wow. 
:''[After Saul realizes Jeff is out cold, he fakes a nervous breakdown to distract Frank]''
:'''Saul''': God, what am I doing?
:'''Frank''': What?
:'''Saul''': ''[cries out again as Frank turns his head towards the cameras]'' Look at me! Wha—I don't know what... ''[sobs]'' Oh, Jesus! 
:'''Frank''': Gene?
:'''Saul''': Oh, God. You... you have a wife, right, Frank?
:'''Frank''': Yeah.
:'''Saul''': Yeah?
:'''Frank''': Yeah.
:'''Saul''': She's waiting for you? ''[Frank nods]'' Look at me. I got... I got no one. My parents are dead. [[w:Chuck McGill | My brother]]... ''[beat; looks down]'' My brother is dead. I, uh... I don't have a wife. No kids, no friends. If I die tonight, no one would care. What difference would it make?
:''[Saul looks up again and notices Jeff slowly getting himself up]''
:'''Frank''': Gene, buddy... I—I'm sure you mean a lot to... to a lot of—lots of people. ''[turns his head around again]''
:'''Saul''': ''[slams fist on table]'' If I die tonight, my landlord would pack up my stuff. It'd take him three hours. And Cinnabon would just hire a new manager. Gene who?! Poof, I'd be gone! I'd be... a–a ghost. Less than a ghost. I'd be a... a shadow. I'd just mean ''nothing.'' I mean, Frank... What's the ''point'', Frank? What's the...
:''[Saul sees Jeff put away the clothes in the box. He groans as he watches Jeff run out of the warehouse, then claps when he's out of sight]''
:'''Saul''': ''[sighs]'' I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that.
:'''Frank''': No, no, no. That's–that's okay. No, that is okay. Everybody has bad days.
:'''Saul''': You've felt like this?
:'''Frank''': ...No. I mean, not me, but... people. I think a lot of people.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Saul''': You guys enjoying yourselves? Well, hold on to that feeling, 'cause this is it.
:'''Jeff''': Yeah, we know.
:'''Saul''': Well, in case you forget, you transported stolen goods with a value exceeding $5,000. And the truck you used to do it was rented in Council Bluffs across state lines.
:'''Jeff''': You told us to rent the truck over there, so—
:'''Saul''': ''[motions for Jeff to stop talking]'' Theft from an interstate shipment, up to ten years. Transportation of stolen goods, another ten years. Sale of stolen goods, ten years. Conspiracy to commit a federal crime—
:'''Buddy''': Whoa, hold on. Conspiracy? It was your idea.
:'''Saul''': Yeah. It's called mutually assured destruction, so... if I go down, you go down.
:'''Jeff''': Man, you don't have to threaten us. We're all friends here.
:'''Saul''': I am not your friend. And if you get greedy, and you decide to come back for more, ''don't.'' Gene Takavic, you've never heard of him. Cottonwood Mall, you don't go there. You see me comin', you cross to the other side of the street. 
:'''Jeff''': Dude.
:'''Saul''': Now, I need you to say it. We're done.
:'''Jeff''': ''[pause; laughs]'' Come on! 
:'''Saul''': Say it. ''We're done. '''Say it.'''''
:'''Jeff''': ''[beat; looks at Buddy briefly]'' We're done.
:'''Buddy''': ''[pause]'' We're–we're done.

=== ''[[w:Breaking Bad (Better Call Saul) | Breaking Bad]]'' [6.11] ===
:''[Saul, with his limbs duct-taped and a bag over his head, lies on the floor of an RV.]''
:'''Saul''': Guys, c'mon. Talk to me! ''Habla, por favor! Yo soy abogado! Abogado, abogado!'' Aw-- Crap! You already knew that! Jesus, fellas, there's a better way to do this! Hello? Oh-- Why- Wha-- Why are we going off-road? Oh! Whoa! Whatever this is, can we please don't do it in the desert? ''Anywhere but the desert!'' Oh-- Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick...
:''[The RV stops and two masked men walk up, cutting the tape at Saul's legs and forcing him upright.]''
:'''Saul:''' Alright, fellas... This-- we can-- We can fix this! Whatever the ''problemo'', we can fix it with ''dinero. Mucho dinero! Mucho, mucho, mucho dinero!'' C'mon, please, one of you just, just-- You talk, ''habla!'' C'mon, b-before mistakes are made! C'mon, talk to me, guys, huh?
:''[The RV door closes to reveal [[w:Pilot_(Breaking_Bad)| five bullet holes covered with duct tape.]]]''
:'''Saul:''' C'mon, just tell me what you want! Jeez...
:''[The bag is taken off Saul's head to reveal  an open grave in the middle of the desert]''
:'''Saul:''' Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! No! [[w:Better Call Saul (Breaking Bad)| It wasn't me! It was Ignacio, he's the one!]]
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Francesca answers a payphone at an abandoned convenience store outside of Albuquerque. On the other end of the line is Saul, calling from a phone booth outside a diner in rural Nebraska under his Gene Takavic alias.]''
:'''Francesca''': Yeah.
:'''Saul''': Oh, good. You're there. Great. Great. Unencumbered by curious eyes and ears, I'm guessing?
:'''Francesca''': Wouldn't have picked up otherwise.
:'''Saul''': Right. Excellent. Um, okay. Well then... Lay it on me.
:'''Francesca''': First things first.
:'''Saul''': No, I believe we agreed after.
:'''Francesca''': I'm hanging up.
:'''Saul''': Okay, okay then! Jeez! I... Okay, if you're facing the phone, turn right ninety degrees and, uh, walk straight. You'll see some pieces of broken concrete in the dirt. Just pull back the one that's kinda shaped like New Jersey. 
:'''Francesca''': New Jersey?
:'''Saul''': Alfred Hitchcock in a fez, whatever. Just pull that one back, and you'll see a, um, soda can tap. It's got a fishing line tied to it. Follow that line, it'll take you to an old water line, and just keep pulling the string and you'll get what I promised.
:''[Francesca leaves the phone off the hook and follows Saul's instructions. She soon retrieves a pouch containing three bundles of cash, amounting to several thousand dollars. She returns to the payhone.]''
:'''Francesca''': Okay.
:'''Saul''': Great. Was it all there? I mean, the rats didn't eat it or anything?
:'''Francesca''': It's all here.
:'''Saul''': ''[exhales]'' Okay. Well, uh, tell me... how hot.
:'''Francesca''': How hot?
:'''Saul''': Yeah.
:'''Francesca''': Well, I still get followed. Not as often as [[w:Ozymandias (Breaking Bad) | when the shit first hit the fan]], but I still see them. My mail gets opened. My phone at home clicks whenever I use it.
:'''Saul''': So the maestro buying the farm didn't change anything?
:'''Francesca''': No. If anything, it made it worse. [[w:Skyler White | Skyler White]] got her deal, so the only ones left to go after are you and Pinkman. And I heard [[w:El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie | they found his car down by the border]], so adios dopehead. 
:'''Saul''': Oh, so they're still on to me. Well... Hey, what do you know about the nail salons?
:'''Francesca''': Nail salons are gone.
:'''Saul''': What? Gone? All of them?
:'''Francesca''': Yup.
:'''Saul''': What about the vending machines?
:'''Francesca''': Gone.
:'''Saul''': Jesus! Don't tell me, the laser tag...
:'''Francesca''': Feds found it all, Saul.
:'''Saul''': How?! It was shells within shells! Dammit! Dammit!! Okay... okay... Hey— oh. Let's say there was an overseas account, Antigua and Barbuda—
:'''Francesca''': Tiger Fish Corporation?
:'''Saul''': What?
:'''Francesca''': Tiger Fish Corporation? 850K? I gave it to the feds.
:'''Saul''': You did what? Why would you do that?!
:''[An automated message tells Saul that his phone time has expired. He hurriedly puts more quarters into the payphone.]''
:'''Saul''': ''God dammit!''
:'''Francesca''': You—you put my name on the board of a fictional corporation. I had to give it up, I didn't really have a choice. And a heads-up would have been nice, by the way!
:'''Saul''': So it's gone? It's all gone. Those sons of bitches took everything.
:'''Francesca''': Except what you took with you, and I'm guessing that wasn't chump change.
:'''Saul''': Yeah, well...
:'''Francesca''': Well... Guess that's it.
:'''Saul''': Wait, wait, wait! C'mon, I just put more quarters in! Can't you just... I don't know... give me the lowdown? 
:'''Francesca''': There's nothing else.
:'''Saul''': Well, that's not true. After all this time? You know, come on. Just fill me in. Um... How's Kuby?
:'''Francesca''': No idea.
:'''Saul''': Alright, how about Huell?
:'''Francesca''': Huell? I guess back home in New Orleans. DEA held him under false pretenses or something, so last I heard he walked.
:'''Saul''': Good. Um, how about Danny? Or—or Ira? I mean, any word on those two guys?
:'''Francesca''': They have Internet where you are? 
:'''Saul''': Well, just... C'mon, give me something. There's gotta be some news.
:'''Francesca''': Remember Bill Oakley? He switched sides.
:'''Saul''': He came out, huh? 
:'''Francesca''': No, he's not gay. He's a defense attorney now. 
:'''Saul''': Huh. Well, I mean... What about you? How are you doing?
:'''Francesca''': ''[sarcastically]'' I'm just great. [[w:Rainier III, Prince of Monaco|Prince Rainier]] proposed. The private jet is taking us to the palace on Thursday.
:'''Saul''': Yeah. Okay, well... I guess that's it, then.
:''[Francesca mulls over what to tell Saul next.]''
:'''Francesca''': I did get one call, after everything went down. ''[pause]'' Kim. Checking in on me. 
:'''Saul''': No kidding?
:'''Francesca''': ''Mm-hmm''. Your name came up. Asked if you were alive. 
:'''Saul''': She asked about me... ''[pause]'' What did you tell her?
:'''Francesca''': Nothing.
:'''Saul''': But she asked.
:'''Francesca''': Yup.
:'''Saul''': ''[long pause]'' ...Yeah, okay. Well, I guess this is goodbye—
:''[Francesca hangs up without saying anything.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Saul goes inside the RV driven by the two masked men [[w:Better Call Saul (Breaking Bad)| who kidnapped him and brought him to the desert]]]''
:'''Saul''': What the hell is this? It's like [[w:James Whale|James Whale]]'s travelling roadshow in here.
:''[Jesse Pinkman, a ski mask pulled up over his face, steps in behind him.]''
:'''[[w:Jesse Pinkman |Jesse]]''': Whatever the hell that is, Crystal Ship definitely travels.
:''[Walt enters and shuts the door behind him, incredulous. Meanwhile, Saul explores the RV.]''
:'''[[w:Walter White (Breaking Bad) | Walter]]''': I'm sorry, you said the ''what'' travels?
:'''Jesse''': Crystal Ship. What I call this thing.
:'''Walter''': Alright, never mind, just... No details. We're paying him to do a job, let's just leave it at that.
:'''Saul''': &quot;No details?&quot; Fellas, that–that money you put in my pocket, that doesn't just extend to this job. That can get you attorney-client privilege on—on all matters!
:'''Walter''': ''No details.''
:'''Saul''': Look at this setup. I mean–What, you two driving around like Mr. Softee, scooping out drugs for all the good boys and girls?
:'''Jesse''': No, we don't deal from here.
:'''Walter''': I said no details!
:'''Jesse''': Dude is standing in front of a meth lab, it's not like he ain't gonna put two and two together!
:'''Walter''': He is on a need-to-know basis.
:'''Jesse''': Uh, I didn't wanna show my face. Did he need to know that?
:'''Saul''': So, you're not just distribution. You're the whole freakin' package.
:''[Saul leans up against a table, considering Walt and Jesse before turning to the lab equipment.]''
:'''Saul''': You two actually make the blue stuff? ''[brief pause]'' Here?! ''[chuckles and picks up a flask]'' That's amazing!
:'''Walter''': Can you not touch...?
:'''Saul''': I mean, look at this! I had a fish that could've used this as a vacation home, but you're using it to make the goods, huh?
:'''Jesse''': Yeah, it's a, um, round-bottom flask. ''[turns to Walt]'' Right? Round-bottom? ''[Walt grimaces and says nothing]'' It's a flask for distilling.
:'''Walter''': It won't be if you break it. Now please, put it down.
:'''Saul''': Oh. ''[clears his throat]'' Okay, so if you cook the blue stuff... ''[to Jesse]'' that means you're Igor and— ''[to Walt]'' and that makes you... You're Heisenberg. Wow. Hey, tell me, how-how much product can you churn out with a setup like this?
:'''Walter''': Alright, we're done. We're done with the questions. ''We'' ask the questions. You have ''a'' job—''one'' job—and I still don't understand how you're gonna pull it off.
:'''Saul''': Listen, when I get all my ducks in a row, I'll give you a PowerPoint down at the office. But until then, just—just bring what we talked about, okay? And don't worry! I'm gonna make it work.
:'''Walter''': I'm taking the eighty thousand as a starting point for negotiation.
:'''Saul''': Take it any way you want. That's the price and, um... ''[clears throat again]'' I'm calling shotgun. ''[saunters up and plops down in the passenger's seat]''
:'''Walter''': ''[to Jesse, who attempts to take the driver's seat]'' I will drive.
:'''Jesse''': Oh, yeah. Sure. I'll just... stand. I guess. ''[under his breath]'' Dick.
:'''Saul''': At least you won't be rolling around like the last Christmas ham in the back of the delivery truck, you know? I—I've got bad knees. ''[to Walt]'' I think you might've messed up my rotator cuff. You're lucky I'm not charging you for my chiropractor, she's expensive. ''[to Jesse]'' But she adjusts ''everything.''
:''[Walt starts the RV, which immediately stalls out.]''
:'''Walter''': Dammit.
:'''Jesse''': You gotta give it some ''gas'' when you're backing up.
:'''Walter''': I gave it the proper amount of gas.
:'''Jesse''': I guess that's why we're &quot;moving&quot;, then.
:'''Walter''': Look, it just was... idling too long. It'll start.
:''[Walt attempts to turn over the ignition again and it sputters.]''
:'''Jesse''': Oh, you should've just let me drive, yo!
:'''Walter''': Look, nothing would be different in this moment except you panicking and flooding the engine.
:'''Jesse''': ''[scoffs]'' Bullshit.
:'''Saul''': Look, fellas, I was enjoying the [[w:Laurel and Hardy|Laurel and Hardy]] vibe, but I'm not such a fan of [[w:The Bickersons|the Bickersons]]. Now, can you get me back to my office? I—I got work to do if you want me to make some magic.
:'''Walter''': We just need to sit a moment, that's all. When it idles too long, the fuel pump overheats, and so we just need to let it cool down.
:''[Walt takes the key out of the ignition, plunging the RV into darkness. Walt clears his own throat, which turns into a cough. A bit of blood spills onto his hand and he wipes it away, but Saul notices. He gives Walt a once-over and Walt responds with a glare of his own, which prompts Saul to turn his attention to the window.]''
:'''Jesse''': So... who's Lalo?
:'''Saul''': ...Who?
:'''Jesse''': Lalo. Thought some dude named Lalo sent us? You seemed pretty freaked out. Never heard of no Lalo on the street.
:'''Saul''': ''[beat]'' It's nobody. ''[to Walt]'' Hey, are you gonna try that again? 'Cause... Or are they gonna find us, y'know, buried in a sandstorm a thousand years from now? Just, please.
:''[Walt turns the key and the RV springs to life once again]''
:'''Jesse''': ''[sarcastically]'' Bravo.
:'''Saul''': I second that! I'm gonna give you two free words of advice: Jiffy. Lube.
:'''Walter''': Hold on.
:''[They drive off out of the desert, leaving behind the hole that Walt and Jesse previously dug up.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Saul is lying on the floor with his feet in the Swing Master as Mike enters his office]''
:'''Saul:''' Ho, enter sunshine! Cast some light into my cool, dark world! 
:''[Mike doesn't say anything, sitting on the couch and looking at a newspaper crossword puzzle]''
:'''Saul:''' Hello? You're on the clock, right? So, get with the info any time.
:'''Mike:''' When you're done.
:'''Saul:''' No, I can multitask. Please.
:'''Mike:''' I'm not gonna talk to you while you're on... whatever ''that'' is.
:'''Saul:''' You know, LBJ used to have his underlings give him reports while he was on the shitter.
:'''Mike:''' ''Ah-hah.'' Well, either I'm gonna leave or I'm gonna put my foot in your skull.
:'''Saul:''' ''[sighs]'' ...Fine. ''[gets up off the floor]'' You should try one of these. You walk like Frankenstein after he was probed by aliens. ''Ha!'' I can get you one. Would do wonders for your chi. ''[puts on his suit jacket and seats himself behind his desk]'' Let's go. Lay it on me.
:''[Mike walks to the desk and hands Saul an envelope containing photos.]''
:'''Mike:''' Alright. First: there's your Mrs. Denise Gabbler. She's cheating, alright. 
:'''Saul:''' ''[whistles]'' Limber! ''Ha-ha!'' Well, at least I know they didn't spot you. No one could stay that aroused with your mug peeking through the window. ''[Mike stares at Saul, stone-faced; he doesn't respond]'' What else you got?
:'''Mike:''' Well, next I followed your bus driver. Newsflash: He really does have a broken neck.
:'''Saul:''' Fantastic. That makes my life much easier. Keep it coming.
:'''Mike:''' Second-story guy out of Indianapolis, Lasky? Did a dime at Menard. Now, if you're looking for a tenor who will keep his mouth shut, you can trust him. I say he's worth keeping an eye on. 
:'''Saul:''' Second-story guy, second-story guy... I—I got more second-story guys in my book than pimples at a junior prom. That... ''[inhales]'' What about, uh, that Heisenberg fella?
:'''Mike:''' High school chemistry teacher.
:'''Saul:''' You're shittin' me, really?
:'''Mike:''' Walter Hartwell White. Chemistry teacher over at J. P. Wynne. Working with a former student, current meth head, one Jesse Pinkman. 
:'''Saul:''' Wow... Uh, what else about the teacher?
:'''Mike:''' He has lung cancer.
:'''Saul:''' ''Jesus.'' That's why he can't quit with the coughing. How bad?
:'''Mike:''' Stage 3A. He's in treatment, more tests to come. But it doesn't look good. Now listen, even if this guy was gonna live, I wouldn't go near him. He's a complete amateur.
:'''Saul:''' Well, you see an amateur, I see 170 pounds of clay ready to be molded.
:'''Mike:''' Well, if the cancer doesn't get him, it will be the cops or a bullet to the head. 
:'''Saul:''' Is that your appraisal, or is that what [[w:Gus Fring | He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named]] says about him?
:'''Mike:''' He didn't say anything. The guy is small potatoes. 
:'''Saul:''' Yeah, okay. I hear ya. I just—I got a feeling about this. This Heisenberg guy's got something. It's top-of-the-line product, that's the buzz on the street. And I just think with the right management—
:'''Mike:''' You know, years ago I bought a [[w:Betamax|Betamax]]. Good product, top of the line. Experts said it was better than a VHS. Turned out to be a complete waste of time and money. 
:'''Saul:''' ''Hm?''
:'''Mike:''' ''[sternly]'' Let it go.
:'''Saul:''' ''[sighs]'' ...Guy with that mustache probably doesn't make a lot of good life choices. So yeah, the second-story guy. Menard, you said?
:'''Mike:''' Yeah, right, right, right. Alright, part of a high-end crew fencing jewelry up into Canada. Now, Lasky kid caught a bad break. Cop was driving by just as he was ducking in a window. He did the time, no one else on his crew went down. Solid.
:''[Saul stares off into space, not paying attention to what Mike is saying.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Saul learns that Jeff's friend, Buddy, bailed on one of their scams and confronts him in the garage behind Jeff's house.]''
:'''Saul''': You're kidding me! Absolutely kidding me! 
:'''Buddy''': I'm sorry, man. I couldn't do it.
:'''Saul''': Do you know how much time, how much effort I put into finding the perfect mark?! I have to weed through all these saps who have wives and families at home! Find somebody who's alone, with money! And what—So you can just wimp out?!
:'''Buddy''': The guy has cancer, man! I found pills in his pocket, okay? The same ones my dad took. For, like, pancreatic cancer. 
:'''Saul''': So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole? ''[scoffs]'' Believe me! I speak from experience!
:'''Buddy''': I can't rip off a guy with cancer. I'm sorry.
:'''Saul''': Do you know how many of the suckers we've ripped off had sob stories?! ''Every single one of them!'' Besides, it'll be ''months'' before they even realize they've been taken! This guy will already be dead! So please get back in your truck, go back to the house, and finish the job!
:'''Buddy''': ''[beat]'' No, man. I can't do that! I can't!
:'''Saul''': Alright, I get it! You'll get over it, okay? Please, believe me. Before you know it, you'll forget all about it. ''[softly]'' Go.
:'''Buddy''': Look, we're doing really well, right? Hear me out, okay? I mean, we're rolling in cash! We can just let this one go! 
:'''Saul''': Not your call.
:'''Buddy''': ''[sighs]'' Yeah, but I... I pulled the tape when I left! The door's locked! We couldn't get back in even if we wanted to! ''[Saul angrily slaps the top of Jeff's car]'' Jeff, come on, man! Back me up here! 
:'''Jeff''': Oh, well I... I don't know. I mean, I can see both sides kinda. 
:'''Saul''': You know what? Forget it, you're fired. Just go! Just give me the camera and go! 
:'''Buddy''': ''[hands Saul his camera]'' Fine. 
:'''Saul''': GOOD! Go, we don't need you! And I know I don't need to tell you this, but since you're such a goddamn amateur, I will anyway! Keep your mouth ''shut''.
:''[Buddy gives Jeff one last glance before leaving the garage.]''
:'''Saul''': ''[to Jeff]'' If we're gonna do this, we should leave now.
:'''Jeff''': ...We're really gonna go back there?
:'''Saul''': What did I just say? Jeff, are you in or out?!

=== ''[[w:Waterworks (Better Call Saul) | Waterworks]]'' [6.12] ===
:'''Kim''': Kim Wexler.
:'''Jimmy''': Hey! Kim Wexler... You know who this is? ''[beat; Kim is silent]'' I'm gonna take that as a &quot;yes&quot;. Uh, that receptionist of yours, is she the type to listen in?
:'''Kim''': No.
:'''Jimmy''': Good! Okay! So... How's Florida been treating you? I'm catching you between hurricanes, I hope. ''[pause]'' Kim? You there?
:'''Kim''': What do you want?
:'''Jimmy''': No, I don't... I don't want anything, I just—It's been a while, y'know, I was just... I was thinking, it's been a while? And, uh... It might be nice to catch up.
:'''Kim''': &quot;Catch up?&quot;
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah, my mind was wandering this morning, just... Not thinking anything in particular, just random thoughts and—Bam, it suddenly occurred to me, it's been six years. I mean, Jesus. I—I couldn't believe it! ''[beat]'' I thought you might wanna know I'm still alive. ''[pause]'' Yep. I'm still out here! Still getting away with it! Feds couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a proctologist.
:'''Kim''': You shouldn't be calling me.
:'''Jimmy''': Oh, hey! You're awake!
:'''Kim''': ''You shouldn't be calling.''
:'''Jimmy''': Why not? What, am I tying up the line from important irrigation business? I mean, come on, Kim, say something. Hey, call me an asshole! Yell at me! Just let me know you still got a pulse. ''[pause]'' Just ''say'' something!
:'''Kim''': You want me to say something?
:'''Jimmy''': Yeah.
:'''Kim''': You should turn yourself in.
:'''Jimmy''': Do what?
:'''Kim''': You heard me. I don't know what kind of life you've been living, but it can't be much.
:'''Jimmy''': Said the pot to the kettle! What?! That is—that is really rich, you—''you'' preaching to ''me?!'' See, you have no idea what I did or didn't do, okay? And why–why don't you turn ''your''self in? Seeing as how ''you're'' the one with the guilty conscience, huh? What is—What is stopping you, huh? [[w:Face Off (Breaking Bad) | Fring's in the ground]]. [[w:Say My Name (Breaking Bad)| Mike's in the ground]]. Lalo's in the ground, apparently. You don't have to hold back on my account! They can only hang me once, so what?! So go ahead! Spill your guts, put on your hair shirt, see what it gets you! Why are... Kim, why are we even talking about this? We're both too smart to throw our lives away for no reason, just... I just—I only wanted to... Kim—Kim...! Kim—
:'''Kim''': I'm glad you're alive. ''[she hangs up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cheryl Hamlin has just finished reading Kim's written confession, describing the events leading up to the night of Howard's death]''
:'''Cheryl''': Howard was murdered? ''[pause; Kim nods]'' Why?
:'''Kim''': He was... in the wrong place at the wrong time.
:'''Cheryl''': Where's his body?
:'''Kim''': I don't know.
:'''Cheryl''': And the police... Will they search again?
:'''Kim''': They'll search. I don't think they'll find him. Cheryl, he... It—It all happened in an instant, and he didn't... he didn't suffer.
:'''Cheryl''': &quot;He didn't suffer&quot;? The lies you two made up, the picture you painted... That's all he is now! That's all ''anybody'' remembers!
:'''Kim''': I wanna change that.
:'''Cheryl''': What happens now? Will you be tried? Will you go to jail?
:'''Kim''': I don't know.
:'''Cheryl''': You're a lawyer, right? You're a... a ''great'' one, Howard said! How could you ''not know?''
:'''Kim''': Bernalillo County has my affidavit. It's up to the district attorney whether to prosecute. And she may not.
:'''Cheryl''': ''Why?''
:'''Kim''': There's no physical evidence. No remaining witnesses other than my ex-husband, assuming he's still alive.
:'''Cheryl''': I could sue you in civil court. I could take everything you've got.
:'''Kim''': Yeah.
:'''Cheryl''': ...Why are you doing this?
 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Kim stands outside Saul's office, attempting to light a cigarette. A man, revealed to be Jesse Pinkman, leans against a wall.]''
:'''Jesse''': Hey, yo... Can I bum one of those?
:''[Kim pauses before offering him the cigarette. Jesse takes one and she lights it for him.]''
:'''Jesse''': Thanks. ''[gestures towards the rain]'' What's up with this shit?
:'''Kim''': Raining.
:'''Jesse''': Yeah. I dunno, it's... It's crazy! Like, bananas, all this rain. I mean, I thought we were, like, in a desert, y'know? ''[beat]'' You're a lawyer, right? ''[Kim turns to him]'' Yeah. I recognize you. You defended my buddy, Combo. Christian Ortega? Juvie court, little baby Jesus? I mean, not like a ''real'' baby. Just, uh... y'know, one of those things outside of the... church?
:'''Kim''': Nativity scene.
:'''Jesse''': Yeah.
:'''Kim''': Knights of Columbus.
:'''Jesse''': I mean, what the ''hell'' did he even ''want'' that thing for? Huh? I mean, I—I still don't know, ''dumbass.'' I told him he could go to hell for stealing something like that. I mean—But did he listen to me? No. But you... You got him off, like, scot-free. That... That was pretty slick, yo!
:'''Kim''': Well... Tell him I hope he's keeping his nose clean.
:'''Jesse''': Yeah, yeah. Right on. Absolutely. Uh... Hey, so you having all this expertise and all... This guy, Goodman... ''[pause]'' He the real deal? Like, lawyer-wise?
:'''Kim''': Why do you ask?
:'''Jesse''': I got a buddy in there who's facing some serious time. I mean, not... y'know, not baby Jesus time, but... but serious. You know, he needs top-shelf legal representation. And I tell him that, right? But, you know, he sees this dude's commercials on TV, and this is where he wants to go. I mean, I tell him, &quot;Yo... Emilio, you know, a funny TV commercial's not a sound... basis for, like, you know... ''[pause]'' I mean, like, would you go to a doctor to do, like, an operation on you in, like a... On, like your spleen or whatever... All on the fact that there was a funny TV commercial? No. I mean, c'mon. How is this ''any'' different, y'know?&quot; Anyways... This guy. Any good?
:''[Kim flicks her cigarette away]''
:'''Kim''': When I knew him, he was. ''[pulls her hood up and runs out into the rain]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Saul calls Marion after learning that Jeff has been arrested for the robbery he committed the previous night]''
:'''Marion''': Hello? ''[pause]'' Gene! Honey, do you know what time it is? ''[beat; picks up her phone and sits down]'' Oh... Oh God, that boy. He's gonna put me in my grave.
:'''Saul''': Marion... ''[chuckles]'' It's a mistake is all. Getting picked up for something you didn't do, that could happen to anybody.
:'''Marion''': Yeah right, anyone. This isn't the first time, you know. He's been in trouble before. Oh, Jesus! 
:'''Saul''': Marion—
:'''Marion''': The death of me! He's gonna be the death of me! 
:'''Saul''': Marion! Marion, it's gonna be alright. We'll get him outta there lickety-split.
:'''Marion''': I've been through this before. There's nothing lickety-split about it. Back when he was living in Albuquerque... Drunk in public, resisting arrest, urinating in—in some place he shouldn't have! And me on the telephone for hours long-distance, trying to find one of those bailout places. I maxed out my Discover card. I'm still paying for that one! 
:'''Saul''': Well, money's not gonna be a problem because I'm gonna help you with that.
:'''Marion''': No, Gene. I can't let you do that. No.
:'''Saul''': Sure you can. Jeff will pay me back. And you don't have to worry about a bondsman either, because guess what? In Omaha, they don't have 'em. Right? You just walk into the station, you pay out straight cash bail. It's not like Albuquerque at all. ''[beat; Marion starts growing suspicious]'' Marion, you still there?
:'''Marion''': Yeah, what... Why did Jeff call you instead of me?
:'''Saul''': Well, I think he was scared of how you'd take it. Honestly, I was gonna pay the bail myself, but I think it should be a family member. I think that'd be best. ''[brief pause]'' I'll tell you what. Let me take a shower, get dressed, and you do the same. I'll swing by and pick you up, we'll get this whole thing squared away. 
:'''Marion''': What about Buddy? Is he in any trouble?
:'''Saul''': I don't think so. Why would he be? ''Heh.'' I'll see you in about an hour. 
:'''Marion''': Yeah, okay. Yeah, thanks. 
:''[After she hangs up the phone, Marion unplugs her phone cord and connects it to her laptop.]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Saul has just discovered Marion watching videos on the internet. He opens up her laptop to find one of his old commercials playing, then re-shuts it.]''
:'''Saul''': What's that?
:'''Marion''': ...You tell me.
:'''Saul''': Marion, do you think that's me? 'Cause it's not.
:'''Marion''': There never was a Nippy, was there?
:'''Saul''': What did Jeff tell you?
:'''Marion''': Oh, he didn't tell me anything. [[w:AskJeeves | AskJeeves]] told me. I typed in &quot;conman&quot; and &quot;Albuquerque&quot;. And up you popped, big as day. ''[reaches for her phone]''
:'''Saul''': What are you doing, Marion?
:'''Marion''': What do you think I'm doing? I'm calling the police.
:'''Saul''': Here. Let me help you with that. ''[rips the phone line from the wall and backs Marion into a corner]'' Listen, I think we're losing sight of the bigger picture here, okay? Jeff is in trouble, and I wanna help him. He and I could sure use your support here.
:'''Marion''': What'd you get my son into?!
:'''Saul''': Nothing that he didn't ask for. ''[shoves Marion's chair to the side and wraps the phone cord around his fists]'' Listen, I'm still the good friend you thought I was, okay? Jeff understands me! Buddy understands me! And you will, too. You just have to, uh... You know, keep things on an even keel, alright?
:''[Marion pulls out her [[w:Life Alert Emergency Response | LifeAlert button]], threatening Jimmy with it as he closes in.]''
:'''Saul''': What have you got there? Put that down. Put that down, Marion. Put it down. Do not do it, Marion. Final warning... ''[takes it out of her grasp]''
:'''Marion''': I trusted you.
:''[Saul holds on to the button for a few moments, guilt quickly setting in before he lets it go. Marion grasps the button again and presses it.]''
:'''Valerie''': Marion? This is Valerie with LifeAlert. Are you okay?
:'''Marion''': No, Valerie, I'm not okay! There's a criminal standing in my kitchen, threatening me! He's a wanted man, ''and his name is '''Saul Goodman!'''''
:'''Valerie''': Alright, Marion? I'm calling the police, I'm calling right now.
:''[Saul sprints out of the kitchen and exits the house. Marion looks on in shock.]''

=== ''[[w:Saul Gone | Saul Gone]]'' [6.13] ===

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Better Call Saul seasons]]
[[Category:Split television seasons]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Bad Guys (film)</title>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:49:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>181.229.11.28</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17407" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
:'''Piranha''': What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. :''[climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face]'' WHAT'S UP PAPA?! :''[the cat yeowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh,(yes...but)it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep.(That's true.)
:'''Wolf''': But(out of all criminals and villains,)why(did you pick)us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine.(You've got a point.)But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about?(What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!'''
:''[As Wolf pounces at Marmalade, he quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being &quot;threatened&quot;.]''
:'''Wolf''': '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': ''[chuckles]'' That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this.
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite. They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''[clears throat]'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… ''[clears throat]'' r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''[gasp]'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''[mutters]''
:'''Luggins''': ''[clears throat]'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' 
:''[Luggins continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154654</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T20:20:16Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="17408" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
:'''Piranha''': What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. :''[climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face]'' WHAT'S UP PAPA?! :''[the cat yeowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh,(yes...but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep.(That's true.)
:'''Wolf''': But(out of all criminals and villains,)why(did you pick)us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine.(You've got a point.)But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about?(What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!'''
:''[As Wolf pounces at Marmalade, he quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being &quot;threatened&quot;.]''
:'''Wolf''': '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': ''[chuckles]'' That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this.
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite. They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''[clears throat]'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… ''[clears throat]'' r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''[gasp]'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''[mutters]''
:'''Luggins''': ''[clears throat]'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' 
:''[Luggins continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>b5jjrray24yqmouisoqnqu89arup47x</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154672</id>
      <parentid>3154654</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:06:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>181.229.11.28</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17417" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
:'''Piranha''': What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. :''[climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face]'' WHAT'S UP PAPA?! :''[the cat yeowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, (yes...but) it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep. (That's true.)
:'''Wolf''': But (out of all criminals and villains,) why (did you pick) us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. (You've got a point.) But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about? (What old lady?)
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!'''
:''[As Wolf pounces at Marmalade, he quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being &quot;threatened&quot;.]''
:'''Wolf''': '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': ''[chuckles]'' That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this.
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite. They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''[clears throat]'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… ''[clears throat]'' r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''[gasp]'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''[mutters]''
:'''Luggins''': ''[clears throat]'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' 
:''[Luggins continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
      <sha1>0r3mq7b3fyh2r022dpmdinipo2gwqpi</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154674</id>
      <parentid>3154672</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:09:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[User:181.229.11.28|181.229.11.28]] ([[User talk:181.229.11.28|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/181.229.11.28|contributions]]) to last version by 72.76.114.82</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17300" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
:'''Piranha''': What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. :''[climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face]'' WHAT'S UP PAPA?! :''[the cat yeowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep.
:'''Wolf''': But, why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about?
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!'''
:''[As Wolf pounces at Marmalade, he quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being &quot;threatened&quot;.]''
:'''Wolf''': '''I’LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEA-'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help! Help! Help! the Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done FOREVER, wolf!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a Bad Guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': ''[chuckles]'' That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this.
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn’t steal the meteorite. They were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''[clears throat]'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… ''[clears throat]'' r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''[gasp]'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn’t I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''[mutters]''
:'''Luggins''': ''[clears throat]'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' 
:''[Luggins continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no! But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!''' &lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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    <revision>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T03:16:21Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="17367" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Bad Guys (film)|The Bad Guys]]''''' is a 2022 American [[w:computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Crime film#Crime_comedy|crime comedy film]], produced by {{w|DreamWorks Animation}} and distributed by {{w|Universal Pictures}}. It is based on the [[w:The Bad Guys (book series)|children's book series of the same name]]. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

:''Directed by [[w:Pierre Perifel|Pierre Perifel]]. Written by [[w:Etan Cohen|Etan Cohen]].''

{{center|'''Good is no fun at all.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

{{film-stub}}

== Mr. Wolf ==
* Hey, you, get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm the big bad wolf! The villain of every story.
* The Bad Guys become the Good Guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
* We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
* We were never given a chance to be anything more than criminals. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
* We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
* Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
* They're the only friends I've ever had.

== Mr. Snake ==
* Relax, these doors are complicated.
* Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
* ''['''Mr. Wolf:''' Maybe I don't wanna be a…]'' What, a bad guy?
* We'll always be bad guys!
* It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
* Totally worth it!
* I've made a lot of enemies in my time...I mean, a lot...but out of all the people in the world...I hate you guys the least.
* You want to know ''why'' I hate birthdays, Wolf? ''Do'' you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing ''monster''...Yeah. But ''nothing'' compares to having the one guy...the ''one'' guy I thought I could trust, stab me in the back.

== Mr. Piranha ==
* Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
* What happened? Did we blow up? Are we in heaven?
* What's up, bubba?

== Mr. Shark ==
* I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
* That's it! I'll teach you to share!
* Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

== Ms. Tarantula ==
* Everyone copy.
* It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
* Well, there goes our street cred.

== Diane ==
* A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
* Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
* I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
* I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. ''['''Mr Wolf''': The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it.]'' I didn't just go after it. I ''had'' it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. ''[sighs]'' I'm still me. ''[chuckles]'' I'm just me on the right side.

== Professor Marmalade ==
* That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
* You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
* ''[from the trailer only]'' If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
* You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
* You see, I never cared about what's &quot;good&quot;. Only what's good for me.

== Chief Luggins ==
* ''[to Mr. Wolf and the rest of his gang after he abuses Marmalade]'' Now, you are done FOREVER, wolf!!

==Dialogue==
:''[first lines; Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]''
:'''Snake''': Stop!
:'''Wolf''': I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
:'''Snake''': Would you please just drop it?
:'''Wolf''': Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
:'''Snake''': Good.
:'''Wolf''': But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! ''[Snake groans]'' You got decorations. You got balloons. You got parties. And cake!
:'''Snake''': Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
:'''Wolf''': Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
:'''Snake''': Guinea pig.
:'''Wolf''': Oh, again with the guinea pig. ''[chuckles]'' I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't know be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
:'''Snake''': Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
:'''Wolf''': Air?
:'''Snake''': Yes! Air. ''[taste the air around him]'' Mmm, nice.
:'''Wolf''': I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
:'''Snake''': That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
:''[pause for a few seconds]''
:'''Wolf''': So, you can taste air?
:'''Snake''': Ah.
:'''Wolf''': What else you got?
:'''Snake''': Forget about it.
:'''Wolf''': Well, can you also hear color? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Snake''': ''[annoyed]'' Alright.
:'''Wolf''': Can you see sound?
:'''Snake''': Okay.
:'''Wolf''': 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
:'''Snake''': Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
:'''Wolf''': Okay, okay.
:'''Snake''': ''[spits out an alarm clock]'' Look at that! 4:00 pm! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' Let's bounce.
:'''Snake''': Yup. ''[swallows the clock as he and wolf get ready to leave]''
:'''Wolf''': Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
:'''Snake''': Well, it ''is'' my birthday.
:'''Wolf''': So, ''now'' you play the birthday card? That's interesting. ''[walks up to the counter]'' Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? ''[places the money in the tip jar]''
:'''Snake''': You know the one good thing about this place?
:'''Wolf''': What?
:'''Snake''': We never have to wait for a table.
:''[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]''
:'''Wolf''': Isn't that every place?
:'''Snake''': ''[to the group]'' Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... '''SNAKE ATTACK!!!''' ''[the group scream and hide behind a chair]'' Oh, mints. ''[swallows the whole bowl of mints]''
:'''Wolf''': Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
:'''Snake''': Alright.
:'''Wolf and Snake''': Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': Hey look, it's a cat! Stuck in a tree! ''[cat hisses]''
:'''Marmalade''': It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
:'''Snake''': Eating it.''[lifts up to reveal two bread slices]'' This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[with a strained smile]'' No. I want you to s…
:''[the gang tries to think]''
:'''Wolf''': Smack it!
:'''Snake''': ''[still confused]'' Skin it?
:'''Shark''': Stab it!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[bluntly]'' Sauté it.
:'''Piranha''':  ''[innocently]'' Sing to it?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[frustrated]'' Save it. I want you to ''save'' it was so obvious. I want you to ''save'' it!
:'''Others''': Oh! Right, right…
:''[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]''
:'''Others''': ''[baring fangs and sporting feral looks] '''HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!'''''
:''[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]''
:'''Snake''': Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
:'''Piranha''': What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. :''[climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face]'' WHAT'S UP PAPA?! :''[the cat yeowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Wolf''': You... It was all you.
:'''Tarantula''': What are you talking about, Wolf?
:'''Wolf''': The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
:'''Snake''': Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
:''[Marmalade chuckles]''
:'''Shark''': Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
:'''Piranha''': Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
:'''Marmalade''': Well, well. So you finally ''get'' it.
:'''Tarantula''': Wait...
:'''Wolf, Snake, and Piranha''': ''[shock]'' What?!
:'''Shark''': ''You'' stole the meteorite?
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, it's not just a meteorite.
:'''Piranha''': I told you guys it's a butt.
:'''Marmalade''': It's not a butt! It's the ''ultimate'' power source. You see. When it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[to Snake]'' You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
:'''Snake''': Yep.
:'''Wolf''': But, why us?
:'''Marmalade''': Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up &quot;bad&quot; in dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No, they see you, and they always will.
:'''Snake''': Okay, fine. But ''you'' set us up.
:'''Marmalade''': Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. ''Evolution'' set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. ''[to Wolf]'' You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
:'''Snake''': Wolf, what's he talking about?
:'''Marmalade''': Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
:'''Wolf''': You little pouchy-cheeked '''RAT!'''
:''[Marmalade quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being &quot;threatened&quot; as Wolf pounces at him.]''
:'''Wolf''': '''I'LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Help, help, help!
:'''Wolf''': '''YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEA–'''
:'''Marmalade''': The Big Bad Wolf is attacking me.
:'''Luggins''': Oh, Now you are done ''forever'', Wolf!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Piranha''': Ah, but then you stole the purse.
:'''Others''': NO!
:'''Snake''': Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
:'''Shark''': Wait. Like, &quot;us&quot; us?
:'''Snake''': But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
:'''Wolf''': What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
:'''Snake''': Our life was ''perfect'' until ''you'' decided to ''ruin'' it!
:'''Wolf''': I didn't! C'mon, you guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than just scary villains! THEY LOVED US!
:'''Snake''': Oh yeah?! If they &quot;loved us&quot; so much, then how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this. At least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary, and some people are scared.
:'''Wolf''': OH, YEAH!? Well I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
:'''Snake''': What, a bad guy?! Don't wanna be a Bad Guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! ''[Mr. Wolf glares at him]'' Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
:'''Wolf''': YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!
:''[Snake looks at him, hurt and angry. He starts attacking him with his coils.]''
:'''Snake''': TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
:'''Prison Guard 1''': ''[breaks up Snake and Wolf]'' Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
:''[one guard falls on the prison floor]
:'''Prison Guard 2''': ''[points up, weakened]'' Tell that to him.
:'''Wolf''': Huh?
:''[Snake and Wolf looks up to see The Crimson Paw on the rescue]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Snake''': You came back.
:'''Wolf''': Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd…
:'''Snake''': Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
:'''Wolf''': [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
:'''Snake''': Yeah. I love you, too, Buddy.
:''[Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake hug each other]''
:'''Shark''': This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
:'''Piranha''': Now… Now you’re gonna make me cry.
:'''Tarantula''': I know! So pathetic, right?
:'''Wolf''': Come on, guys. Who said it was the end?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': ''[chuckles]'' That is it.
:'''Piranha''': Hey!
:'''Luggins''': There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
:'''Diane''': Wait, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Governor Foxington?
:'''Diane''': Don't do this.
:'''Wolf''': Ow!
:'''Diane''': They didn't steal the meteorite, they were bringing it back.
:'''Luggins''': Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals.  
:'''Diane''': Well… ''[clears throat]'' as a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
:''[ Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula realizes Diane Gonna tell Her about her secret identity]''
:'''Diane''': The truth is I’m really… ''[clears throat]'' r-really…
:'''Wolf''': Really a big fan of redemption arcs. Yeah, we know. 
:''[ Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Tarantula understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]''
:'''Wolf''': We're done running away.
:'''Piranha''': Yeah
:'''Shark''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Tarantula''': Yeah
:'''Snake''': Yep
:'''Wolf''': Chief, Do what you need to do.
:'''Luggins''': What? Y-You're turning yourself in?
:'''Wolf''': We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It’s time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
:'''Luggins''': Wow, Really?
:'''Wolf''': You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
:'''Luggins''': ''[gasp]'' Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn't I?
:'''Wolf''': Uh… ''[mutters]''
:'''Luggins''': ''[clears throat]'' When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement.
:'''Wolf''': ''[chuckles]'' 
:''[Luggins continues indistinctly]''
:'''Diane''': I’m proud of you, Wolf.
:'''Wolf''': You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chief Misty Luggins''': Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp!
:'''Everyone''': Huh?
:'''Snake''': Heheheh.
:'''Everyone''': What?!
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' Snake, what did you just do?
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
:'''Tarantula''': ''[in flashback]'' I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' You've got yourself a deal.
:'''Snake''': ''[in flashback]'' Can I try it on?
:'''Marmalade''': ''[in flashback]'' Of course, partner.
:'''Wolf''': ''[in flashback]'' Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
:'''Marmalade''': But if that's a lamp, where is the…?
:'''Snake''': Heheh. The old switcheroo.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Luggins''': Hold on. (What's this?) This is the Zumpango diamond, but this was stolen by the... ''[gasps]'' By the '''Crimson Paw!'''
:'''Marmalade''': Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
:'''Tiffany''': OMG.
:'''Marmalade''': No, no, no. No, you've got it wrong.
:'''Tiffany''': And a shocking twist.
:'''Marmalade''': You're making a huge mistake!
:'''Tiffany''': The notorious bandit known as the Crimson Paw has been revealed to be...
:'''Marmalade''': No! No!
:'''Tiffany''': ...None other than Professor Marmalade.
:'''Marmalade''': I'm not the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Crimson Paw. Sh-She's the Paw! I'm a flower of goodness. '''NO!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Taglines ==
* Good is no fun at all.

== Cast ==
* '''[[w:Sam Rockwell|Sam Rockwell]]''' — Mr. Wolf
* '''[[Marc Maron]]''' — Mr. Snake
* '''[[Awkwafina]]''' — Ms. Tarantula / Webs
* '''[[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]]''' — Mr. Shark
* '''[[w:Anthony Ramos|Anthony Ramos]]''' — Mr. Piranha
* '''[[w:Richard Ayoade|Richard Ayoade]]''' — Professor Rupert Marmalade IV
* '''[[w:Zazie Beetz|Zazie Beetz]]''' — Diane Foxington / The Crimson Paw
* '''[[w:Lilly Singh|Lilly Singh]]''' — Tiffany
* '''[[w:Alex Borstein|Alex Borstein]]''' — Chief Luggins

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{IMDb title|8115900}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bad Guys, The}}
[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Criminal comedy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Heist films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about wolves]]
[[Category:Films about snakes]]
[[Category:Films about piranhas]]
[[Category:Films about spiders]]
[[Category:Animated films about foxes]]
[[Category:Animated films based on children's books]]
[[Category:Animated films based on novels]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sonic the Hedgehog 2</title>
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      <text bytes="31918" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (film)|Sonic the Hedgehog 2]]''''' is a 2022 American fantasy-action-adventure-comedy film based on the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|video game franchise]] published by Sega. The movie stars [[w:James Marsden|James Marsden]], [[w:Ben Schwartz|Ben Schwartz]], [[w:Tika Sumpter|Tika Sumpter]], [[w:Natasha Rothwell|Natasha Rothwell]], [[w:Adam Pally|Adam Pally]], [[w:Lee Majdoub|Lee Majdoub]], and [[Jim Carrey]] in the reprising roles from [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|the first movie]]. The movie also features [[w:Shemar Moore|Shemar Moore]], [[w:Colleen O'Shaughnessey|Colleen O'Shaughnessey]], and [[Idris Elba]]. It is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

:''Directed by: {{w|Jeff Fowler}}. Produced by {{w|Neal H. Moritz}}, Toby Ascher, Toru Nakahara, and Hitoshi Okuno. Screenplay by [[w:Patrick Casey (writer)|Pat Casey]] &amp; [[w:Josh Miller (filmmaker)|Josh Miller]] and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''Welcome 2 the Next Level''' &lt;small&gt;(tagline)&lt;/small&gt;}}

== [[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] ==
* ''[from trailer]'' Quick stretch, little snack, and here we go.
* Blue Justice. Trademark pending.
* Morning, Wade! ''['''Wade''': Morning, Sonic!]''
* Good morning, Green Hills!
* Look, I stopped a robbery! I was a hero! ''['''Tom:''' No, you put people in danger and that's not what a hero does!]'' You're supposed to be my friend, stop trying to be my dad...
* I just got goosebumps. Wait a second. Did you steal that from Oprah?
* Today's forecast calls for a 100% chance of adventure!
* Okay, this is what we're gonna do. Step 1: Light taunting. Step 2: I have no idea.
* ''['''Tails:''' I got idea, do you trust me?]'' Of course not! I literally just met you!
* ''[to Robotnik]'' Okay, we gotta talk about your new look. It's like Professor X meets the Monopoly Man. Also, what kind of genius shows up to Siberia in a convertible?
* ''[Directing a missle back to Robotnik]'' Return to sender!
* Face it: you're never gonna get my power.
* ''[Driving a police car away from Knuckles. To Tails]'' I think we lost him. ''[Knuckles suddenly lands on the car and punches a hole through the roof]'' We've not lost him, we've definitely not lost him!
* ''[Snowboarding down a snowy slope, Knuckles catching up to him, doing the same]'' Oh, great. [[Captain America: The Winter Soldier|The Winter Soldier]]! 
* ''['''Knuckles''': You're unskilled… untrained… and unworthy!]'' You forgot one: unstoppable!
* ''[Fighting Knuckles]'' I don't wanna fight you, but you're not giving me much choice!
* For a guy named Knuckles, you are ''really'' bad at punching.
* Uh, meow?
* Water. Why did it have to be water?
* ''Gotta go fast.''
* STOP. SAYING. GROIN.
* ''[as Super Sonic]'' It's ''over'', Eggman.

== [[w:Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog)|Miles &quot;Tails&quot; Prower]] ==
* ''(from trailer)'' Name's Tails.
* Wow, okay, let me just say it is an honor to finally meet you, Sonic. Is it okay if I call you Sonic? Everyone calls me &quot;Tails&quot;. You're probably wondering why. ''['''Sonic:''' Let me guess... because of the extra tail?]'' That's right! I should have known you'd get that!
* That's Knuckles. The last of the Echidnas and the most dangerous warrior in the galaxy. He's obsessed with finding the Master Emerald.
* Ha ha ha! A butt-copter!
* ''[Repeated line]'' Only Sonic the Hedgehog...
* Growing up, I didn't have any friends. Everyone in my village thought my two tails were weird. ''['''Sonic:''' Hey, I know that feeling.]'' But then I saw you; the fastest creature in the galaxy. You were weird too, but you were a legend. That made me think, maybe being weird isn't so bad. You inspired me to leave my village, to find you and help you on your mission.
* ''[Flying inside Robotnik's giant robot]'' Looks like your fancy robot has a glitch! ''[Makes multiple holographic images of himself to confuse Robotnik]'' Is it me? What about me? I'm over here! Up top! Down below! Behind you! I'm over here! Sorry! Over here! Too slow! Missed me again!

== [[w:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] ==
* Do I look like I need ''your'' power?
* ''[Hanging off the side of a cliff, sees several of Robotnik's drones pointed at him]'' You think these machines are a match for me? I will shatter them like the bones of a fallen-! ''[Looks below and sees that the robots have attached themselves to the cliff for him to walk on]'' Oh, they are stairs.
* I understand ''nothing'' of what you just said.
* Sonic the Hedgehog… you're no match for me.
* I am an echidna warrior.
* You're unskilled, untrained, and unworthy!
* You're no match for me. I've been training for this my entire life!
* '''Dis''... is how I roll.
* ''[As Robotnik betrays him]'' That wasn't the deal!
* But I trusted you! You were my friend!
* ''[After Sonic hits him with a sandball]'' How dare you attack me in my hour of sorrow! ''[Gets hit with another sandball]''
* ''[To the Wachowskis, after Sonic has been transformed into &quot;Super Sonic&quot; by the Chaos Emeralds]'' Wait! You cannot touch him! The hedgehog holds the power of the Emerald. Sorry, he's no longer the Sonic you once knew. ''[Sonic uses his power...to summon a chili dog for him to eat. He then makes two more chili dogs, which both land on Knuckles' face]'' Okay, he is ''exactly'' the Sonic you once knew.

== [[w:Doctor Eggman|Dr. Robotnik]] ==
* Doctor's log. It is day 243 in this... Portabello purgatory... My only companion is a rock I named &quot;Stone&quot;. The question is... for whom am I narrating this? It seems I have become a feature player in the theater of the absurd. Marooned in deep space by that wretched blue rodent. But it is all good thanks to a breathable atmosphere and my supreme intellect, sharpened against the only competitor savvy enough to br-r-r-r-ring it.
* Since I've been gone, I've discovered the source of ultimate power!
* Where are my manners? Sonic, meet Knuckles. My new BFF-A-E. My bestest friend forever and ever.
* ''[referring to finding the source of ultimate power]'' ''['''Stone:''' That sounds big.]'' It's been on my vision board for years.
* Papa's got a brand new 'stache!
* ''[In the Emerald temple's maze, he and Knuckles run from a giant spiked metal ball rolling at them, a la Indiana Jones]'' I don't wanna die like this; it's derivative!
* ''[After dodging more booby traps in the Emerald temple's maze]'' I've solved it: there's a booby trap every seven seco-- ''[Just as he says seconds, a giant axe swings down right in front of Robotnik, just brushing against his mustache, and then imbeds itself into the wall]'' That was a little early. ''[Briefly looks down, then exhales with relief]'' So glad it didn't cut off my...mustache.
* ''[doing commentary on Sonic and Knuckles' fight]'' The echidna's taking no prisoners today! Sonic has heart, but will he lose the &quot;quill&quot; to live?
* Hedgehog, it's time to say goodbye to humanity.
* Welcome to the new norm!
* Someone call an Uber? It's cold in here. Let's turn up the heat.
* ''[Sonic redirects a missile back to Robotnik's robot, hitting it in its knee. The impact jolts the robot to where Stone is slammed against the wall and knocked out]'' Stone? Oh, great. Next thing you know, there'll be a report about a hostile work environment!
* ''['''Super Sonic:''' It's over, Eggman.]'' I like the new look. It works for you. What do you say we just let bygones be bygones? I did some things, you did some things. There are good people on both sides. ''[presses buttons in his glove to control his robot's right arm]'' Surely two intelligent beings... can work these things '''''OUT!!''' [tries to punch Super Sonic, who blocks the fist and disintegrates it, then proceeds to smash through the robot... and tip it over with the toe of his shoe]'' Oh, it's like that? Okay, we're not friends! '''LATER, HATER!'''

== Tom Wachowski ==
* Sonic, I love that you want to help make a difference, but you're being reckless... Pretending to be Batman.
* Sonic, taking care of yourself is not what being a hero is all about. It's about taking responsibility for other people. And now, whether you wanna hear this or not, you are still just a kid. You got some more growing up to do before you're ready to be a hero. Trust me, there will come a time when your powers will be needed. But you don't choose that moment. That moment chooses you.
* ''[after Sonic calls him &quot;Dad&quot;]'' I'll race you to the truck. 1, 2, 3, go!

== Agent Stone ==
* ''[surprised by Robotnik's return to Earth]'' He's back. '''''HE'S BACK!'''''

== Dialogue ==
:'''Dr. Robotnik''': Thank you, Stone! It's time to say goodbye to this... piece of shiitake planet!
:''[Robotnik licks Sonic's quill, electrocuting himself again before making a beeline for the Ring portal in slow motion. However, he stops at the sight of a silhouette then gasps as he stops in his tracks falling on his back as we see the creature's hand, encased in a massive white boxing glove-like glove with twin spikes. In a close up of his face, the creature reveals himself to be a red anthropomorphic echidna marching right up to him with his eyes glowing purple. The echidna, Knuckles, walks up to Robotnik before noticing Sonic's quill in his palm.]''
:'''Knuckles''': Where did you get that?
:''[Robotnik looks to Sonic's quill in his hand and swiftly lifts it in between their faces]''
:'''Robotnik''': From a little blue menace on a planet called Earth.
:''[Knuckles looks at Robotnik sternly]''
:'''Robotnik''': I'd be happy to show you the way.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hostage''': What the heck are you?!
:'''Sonic''': Fear not, citizen. I am the hero you need and the hero you deserve. The blue dawn that banishes the darkest– HOLY CRAP!
:''[Sonic spots a pedestrian on the road and proceed to scream with the hostage as he takes the wheel and drives around her. The hostage continues to scream.]''
:'''Sonic''': Don't worry! Nobody's gonna get hurt!
:''[The chase continues as the bag of dynamite proceeds to slide right next to Sonic]''
:'''Sonic''': Huh, what are those?
:'''Hostage''': Bombs, '''BOMBS! THEY’RE BOMBS!''' Those are bombs!
:'''Sonic''': Relax, they're not even lit! so I'll say again, nobody's gonna get–
:''[The dynamite sticks turn on as their fuses ignite]''
:'''Sonic''': '''AHH!!''' I was wrong! We're all gonna die!
:'''Hostage''': Why aren't you slowing down?!
:'''Sonic''': That would require brakes.
:''[Sonic presses on the breaks to no avail as they are blocked by an unconscious bank robber, and he takes the bag of dynamite with his foot and picks it up with his hand]''
:'''Sonic''': Ahh! Ohh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
:'''Hostage''': Why don't you just let the police handle this?!
:'''Sonic''': Because that's ''not'' what heroes do!
:''[Sonic throws all the dynamite sticks out the window. They all fall into a random garbage truck before they explode, scattering its trash everywhere]''
:'''Sonic''': Thank you very much! Please hold your applause!
:''[Trash falls on the windshield of the truck. The chase continues. The hostage hears a hissing.]''
:'''Hostage''': Hey, ya hear that? There's one bomb left!
:'''Sonic''': Uh-oh.
:''[Sonic zooms toward the truck's small cubby and proceeds to look under]''
:'''Hostage''': Did you check under the seat?
:'''Sonic''': Of course I checked under the seat!
:''[The chase still continues]''
:'''Hostage''': You are terrible at this!
:''[Sonic latches onto the wire on the door separating him and the hostage]''
:'''Sonic''': You know what? Your negative attitude is ''not'' helping anyone!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': No need to thank me, citizens! All in the Knights work for… Blue Justice!
:'''Hostage''': You're a terrible hero!
:''[Sonic laughs as he zips away]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': I can take care of myself.
:'''Tom''': Sonic, taking care of yourself is not what being a hero is all about. It's about taking responsibility for other people. And now, whether you wanna hear this or not, you are still just a kid. You got some more growing up to do before you're ready to be a hero. Trust me, there will come a time when your powers will be needed. But you don't choose that moment. That moment chooses you.
:'''Sonic''': Whoa. Look at you. Look, I just got– I just got goosebumps. Wait a second, did you steal that from Oprah?
:'''Tom''': No, sir, it's a Wachowski family special. Came from my dad, in this very boat, in this very lake. He would always try and steer me in the right direction. That's what Maddie and I always try to do with you. So, until your moment arrives, I want you to work on being more responsible. Comprende?
:'''Sonic''': Comprende. High-five on it!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Robotnik uses a taser to cut open the knob of the door then opens it]''
:'''Sonic''': ''[shocked]'' Eggman?
:''[Robotnik blows out the taser like a candle then faces Sonic]''
:'''Robotnik''': Hello, hedgehog! Did you miss me?
:'''Sonic''': I don't know how you got back, but you made a big mistake coming here.
:'''Robotnik''': ''Au contraire, mon frere.'' The mistake was thinking that you've won. But that was just a prelude, an ''hors d'oeuvre'', an aperitif, an Amuse-bouche–
:'''Sonic''': I get it.
:'''Robotnik''': ''[chuckles as he walks forward waving a finger]'' I don't think you do, but you will, and so will that idiot sheriff and his wife.
:''[Sonic makes a fist with blue energy building up]''
:'''Robotnik''': [[The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|And your little dog, too!]]
:''[Sonic rushes up and time slows as he prepares to punch Robotnik in the face but he backs away to reveal Knuckles leaping right at Sonic. Time goes back to normal as he punches him right through a wall, destroying the TV. Sonic lays on the couch dazed, as he looks through the wall to see Knuckles looking right at him.]''
:'''Knuckles''': Pitiful. ''[walks through the hallways as Sonic gets up]''
:'''Sonic''': Who are you?
:'''Robotnik''': ''[sticks his head through the hole]'' Where are my manners? ''[walks through the hallway and stands right behind Knuckles]'' Sonic... meet Knuckles. My new BFF-A-E. My bestest friend forever and ''ever''.
:'''Sonic''': ''[gets on the floor and gets his bag of Rings as he wears it like a strapped backpack]'' Look, Robotnik, I don't care who you bring to help you. You're never gonna get my power.
:'''Knuckles''': Do I look like I need ''your'' power?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tails''': Wow. OK, let me just say it is an honor to finally meet you, Sonic. Is it OK if I call you Sonic? ''(My name's Miles Prower.)'' Everyone calls me &quot;Tails&quot;. You're probably wondering why.
:'''Sonic''': Let me guess, because of the extra tail?
:'''Tails''': That's right! I should've known you'd get that!
:'''Sonic''': Cool. Also, what is going on?! Robotnik's back, and who is [[Clifford the Big Red Dog (2000 TV series)|Clifford the Big Red Rage Monster]]?
:'''Tails''': Oh, that's Knuckles, the last of the echidnas and the most dangerous warrior in the galaxy. He's obsessed with finding the Master Emerald.
:'''Sonic''': Are you serious, the Master Emerald? That's just a bedtime story!
:'''Tails''': Well, he believes it's real, and he must think you're the key to finding it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tails''': Uh, Sonic? Where are we?
:'''Wade''': Welcome to the Wade Cave, which is something I hope to someday say to a woman. A woman who's not my mom.
:'''Sonic''': Wade, focus. We need to figure out why Knuckles thinks I'm the key to finding the Master Emerald, and why did he mention Longclaw?
:'''Tails''': There must be a connection.
:'''Sonic''': Wait a minute, there is. ''[gets out the safe worlds map and points to the emerald on it]'' There's an emerald on the map Longclaw gave me. I never knew what it meant before.
:''[The map glows as the black outlines turn green and shut the lights off.]''
:'''Tails''': Something's happening.
:''[Sonic lets go of the map and the map falls to the floor as green smoke surrounds the map. Then a hologram of Longclaw emerges from the map as she is spreading her wings.]''
:'''Sonic''': Longclaw?
:'''Longclaw''': Hello, Sonic. If you're watching this, then something has happened to me and I pray that you've made it to Earth unharmed. This world has been chosen for a very important reason. It's the secret location of the Master Emerald. ''[spreads her wings out, revealing an image of the Master Emerald, a green diamond]''
:'''Sonic''': Woah...
:'''Longclaw''': The emerald has the power to turn thoughts into reality.
:'''Wade''': Just like the {{w|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man}} from ''[[Ghostbusters]]''.
:'''Tails''': Shhh.
:'''Longclaw''': In the wrong hands, it can threaten all life in the universe. Protecting the emerald was my sacred duty, and now I must pass that responsibility to you.
:'''Sonic''': This is my moment.
:'''Longclaw''': Follow the map, find the emerald, and keep it safe. Sonic, you have a heart like no other creature I've met. I love you so much. Goodbye.
:''[The hologram ends as Longclaw sinks into the map, fading.]''
:'''Sonic''': No, no, no, wait.
:''[The hologram of Longclaw's feather floats into Sonic's hand, which fades as he closes his hands.]''
:'''Sonic''': I won't let you down, Longclaw.
:''[Tails looks concerned for Sonic.]''
:'''Wade''': So, is he like... your dad?
:'''Tails''': What?
:'''Wade''': No?
:'''Sonic''': ''[walks over to the map and picks it up]'' According to the map, the first clue is in Siberia. It's a compass that'll lead us to the emerald.
:'''Tails''': And with Knuckles already here, it's a race.
:'''Wade''': &quot;Knuckles&quot;… Ya know, I knew a kid in middle school named Knuckles. Could fit his whole fist in his mouth. If this is the same Knuckles, then we're screwed.
:'''Sonic''': This Knuckles, that Knuckles, doesn't matter. We're gonna get there first. ''[throws a Ring and opens a portal that has Siberia on the other side]''
:'''Tails''': Hehehe, ummm. What do you mean &quot;we&quot;?
:'''Sonic''': You're coming with me.
:'''Tails''': Oh, no, no, no, no. I-I just came here to warn you. I'm not a field guy.
:'''Sonic''': Don't worry, I got your back. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. ''[makes a fist and lifts it to Tails, who walks over to him]'' It's a power bump. On Earth, it means an unbreakable promise.
:'''Tails''': Okay, I'm in! ''[he and Tails power bump]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tails''': Check this out.
:'''Sonic''': Can you translate that?
:'''Tails''': Yeah. Ages ago, a fearsome group of warriors – known as the echidnas – forged the seven Chaos Emeralds into the most unstoppable weapon ever created.
:'''Sonic''': The Master Emerald.
:'''Tails''': With it, a single warrior could defeat entire armies. Believing no one should have such power, an order of heroes recovered the emerald and swore to protect it from evil. Sounds like the owls and echidnas have been fighting each other (over that emerald) for centuries.
:'''Sonic''': Like {{w|Vin Diesel}} and [[Dwayne Johnson|The Rock]].
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': Has anyone ever told you you've got serious anger issues?
:'''Knuckles''': You mock me with your weak jokes, but you know nothing about me, hedgehog.
:'''Sonic''': Well, I know you echidnas have a habit of showing up uninvited and ruining my life!
:'''Knuckles''': Ruining your life? Another bad joke. ''[becoming more pensive and sad]'' I lost ''everything'' because of you. My tribe was on the verge of its greatest victory. The last of the owl warriors were located; soon, Longclaw's Emerald secrets would be ours. But my father stopped me from joining the fight. He said my moment to honor our tribe would come, but it was not this moment. Those were the last words he spoke to me. I never saw him again.
:'''Sonic''': ''[somberly]'' We both lost everything that day.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rachel''': Randall, why do all of your friends have weapons?
:'''Walters''': You really should have taken me up on that brunch, Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski.
:'''Tom''': Olive Garden guy?
:'''Walters''': It's okay, everyone. We're federal agents. You, too, agent. Go ahead.
:'''Rachel''': ''[as Randall reveals his badge]'' You mean to tell me that this entire wedding was a setup?!
:'''Randall''': Rachel, wait a minute.
:'''Rachel''': What?
:'''Walters''': That's correct, ma'am. Every single aspect of Operation Catfish was a complete fabrication.
:'''Rachel''': Operation Catfish?! So is everyone here an agent?! ''[to the priest]'' Are you an agent?! ''[the Priest reveals his taser inside his book]'' Son of a… Was the florist an agent?! How about the photographer? The woman who waxed my… at the spa? Is Jojo an agent?
:'''Randall''': Rachel.
:'''Jojo''': What?
:'''Randall''': Rachel, listen to me. (I can explain.)
:'''Rachel''': ''[fueled with rage]'' I'M DONE LISTENING! I AM DONE LISTENING!!
:'''Randall''': I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I really am. I am so sorry.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Walters''': Something bothering you, agent?
:'''Randall''': I just feel a little guilty about what I did to Rachel, sir.
:'''Walters''': Don't worry about it. We'll send her a gift card. Now, I propose a toast. To a perfectly executed operation.
:'''G.U.N. Agent''': Sir, we're under attack.
:'''Rachel''': '''''RANDALL, WIFEY'S HOME!!!'''''
:'''Randall''': Oh, my god. Rachel. What... a... Woman.
:'''Rachel''': You no-good, lowdown, dirty, lying…
:'''Randall''': Rachel, just listen to me.
:'''Rachel''': '''WHAT KIND OF TWISTED SICKO TRICKS SOMEONE INTO A ''FAKE WEDDING?!'''''
:'''Walters''': Party's over, bridezilla. Stop right there.
:'''Rachel''': You son of a…
:'''Walters''': Have it your way.
:'''Randall''': No! No!
:'''Walters''': Very disappointing, Agent Handel. Is that supposed to be a weapon?
:'''Rachel''': I don't know, but we gonna find out!
:'''Walters''': Haven't you caused enough trouble for one day?
:'''Rachel''': I haven't even begun causing trouble! Hell hath no fury like a bride scorned! Looks like it's real, huh? No. Right.
:'''Randall''': Be honest. How bad is it?
:'''Rachel''': Not bad at all. You got tased. You'll be fine.
:'''Randall''': I'm so cold.
:'''Rachel''': You landed on our ice sculpture. Get up. Just… Just tell me the truth, for once. Is there anything about you or about us that was real?
:'''Randall''': Rachel, look at me. Before I met you, I didn't think that I was even capable of real happiness, but that all changed when you walked into my life, and I ended up breaking the first rule of undercover work.
:'''Rachel''': Which is...?
:'''Randall''': Never fall in love.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sonic crashes through the ceiling of the Master Emerald's chamber, in front of Robotnik and Knuckles, poison darts stuck in his quills]''
:'''Sonic''': ''[coughs]'' Nailed it. ''[A giant mace ball lands right behind him]''
:'''Robotnik''': This guy is always trying to spoil a bad thing!
:'''Sonic''': Oh, you guys are here too? ''[Shakes the darts off his quills]'' Took the long way, huh?
:'''Knuckles''': Is everything a joke to you? Why must you constantly interfere with my destiny?
:'''Sonic''': Because ''my'' destiny is to protect my friends and family!
:'''Robotnik''': I think I just threw up in my mouth.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[As Knuckles goes to crush him with a large rock, Sonic spots Robotnik reaching his hands out to the Emerald]''
:'''Sonic''': Knuckles, stop! Robotnik is stealing the Emerald!
:'''Knuckles''': What kinda fool do you take me for?
:'''Sonic''': Just look!
:''[Following Sonic's attention, Knuckles looks over his shoulder to look at Robotnik]''
:'''Robotnik''': Mine...
:''[As Robotnik goes to grab the Master Emerald, Knuckles shouts as if stopping him]''
:'''Knuckles''': Wait, that wasn't the deal! ''[drops the rock]''
:'''Robotnik''': Oh, you poor naive creature. It's not your fault. A more advanced intellect would've seen this move coming a mile away, or 1.6 kilometers.
:'''Knuckles''': But I trusted you! You were my friend!
:'''Robotnik''': ''[laughing]'' Sorry, that just hit me funny. Let this be my final to you, you dimwitted celestial skintag. Friends are open, honest and vulnerable with each other, which means X square times the hypotenuse of Y square divided by the absolute power of friendship equals, dookie!
:'''Sonic''': Oh, no!
:''[Robotnik grabs hold of the Emerald and a wave of green energy surrounds him. The force knocks Sonic and Knuckles off of their feet]''
:'''Robotnik''': Chaos is power...!
:''[With his jacket turned black and the lenses on his goggles and the trim turned green, Robotnik and the Emerald disappear. The whole temple starts to collapse]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sonic is washed on the beach, saved by Knuckles]''
:'''Sonic''': You saved me?
:'''Knuckles''': ''[sits and frowns]'' Don't talk to me, I'm not in the mood. ''[gets hit by a sandball from Sonic]'' How dare you attack me in my hour of sorrow?!
:'''Sonic''': ''[throws another sandball at Knuckles]'' Why did you save me?
:'''Knuckles''': ''[throws a large sandball that almost completely buries Sonic]'' Because you saved me first, which clearly gave you a tactical advantage I do not understand.
:'''Sonic''': ''[shakes sand off of himself]'' It wasn't a tactic. I couldn't just let you die.
:'''Knuckles''': But why? I've been trying to destroy you since the moment we met.
:'''Sonic''': Because being a hero isn't about taking care of yourself, it's about taking responsibility for other people.
:'''Knuckles''': Wise words. An ancient Earth proverb?
:'''Sonic''': No, sir, it's a Wachowski family special. I got it from a guy in a rowboat. Someone who means a lot to me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Knuckles''': Those were our best attacks, and they did nothing.
:'''Tails''': We can't beat Robotnik as long as he's got that emerald. He's too powerful.
:'''Sonic''': Look, we aren't strong enough to beat Robotnik on our own, but there's three of us. ''[to Knuckles]'' Your strength... ''[to Tails]'' ...Your smarts, and my speed, together. That's how we win.
:'''Knuckles''': So we make our stand here on the field of battle.
:'''Tails''': As a team!
:'''Sonic''': This is it. This is our moment!
:'''Robotnik''': Time to fight.
:'''Sonic''': Bad time to say this, but I don't actually have a plan. Tails, any ideas?
:'''Tails''': We have to find his weak spot.
:'''Knuckles''': I suggest the groin.
:'''Sonic''': What? No, no!
:'''Knuckles''': Traditionally, yes. The groin is the weakest spot.
:'''Sonic''': Stop saying &quot;groin&quot;.
:'''Robotnik''': Hedgehog!
:'''Sonic''': Look out! I know what his weak spot is, it's me! I'm the groin! Think about it! I live rent-free in this dude's head, so if I go out there and rile him up...
:'''Knuckles''': He'll focus on only you, leaving himself open to a flanking maneuver from me and the fox! Hedgehog, you are a brave and noble warrior! Go to your certain death with honor!
:'''Sonic''': We're going to have to work on your pep talks, pal.
:'''Tails''': Yeah.
:'''Sonic''': Let's go.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sonic''': OK, this is what we're gonna do. Step 1: Light taunting. Step 2: I have no idea.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[After Robotnik has been defeated, Knuckles repairs the Master Emerald and brings it to Sonic and Tails]''
:'''Knuckles''': I've spent my entire life questing for this. Now I have it, now ''we'' have it. What can we do with it? What next?
:'''Tails''': There were once two orders of heroes who protected the galaxy from those who used the Emerald for evil.
:'''Knuckles''': But they've all passed on to the great battlefield in the sky.
:'''Sonic''': So we start a new order. The three of us.
:'''Knuckles''': This is no light task. We must make a vow: to use our powers to keep the universe safe, to watch out for each other; our new tribe.
:'''Tails''': Oh, I know! A power bump! ''[Holds out his fist]''
:'''Sonic''': Good idea! ''[Puts his fist against Tails', Knuckles looks at them confused]''
:'''Tails''': It's an Earth custom. An unbreakable promise.
:'''Knuckles''': Very well. A power bump it is. ''[Puts his fist against Sonic and Tails' fists]''
:'''Sonic''': POWER BUMP!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tom''': ''[to Sonic before getting ice cream with Tails, Knuckles, Maddie and Ozzy]'' Oh, I'm happy for you, pal. You got your wingmen. Perfect friends they never grow up with.
:'''Tails''': Come on, Knuckles.
:'''Knuckles''': Ah, my victory chariot! ''[jumps into the back of the truck]''
:'''Sonic''': I got a lot more than that… Dad.
:''[Tom smiles at him]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mid-credits scene]''
:'''Walters''': Agent, I want an update.
:'''Agent Faucet''': Still searching, sir. We haven't found any sign of Robotnik.
:'''Walters''': No one could've survived that crash. He's toast. Good riddance. What a mess that lunatic made.
:''[A masked G.U.N. solider walks behind the pair, pulling his mask down to reveal himself to be Stone with a scar on his face.]''
:'''Faucet''': Sir, there’s something else. When we were wiping Robotnik off our database, we found something — a file buried deep in our system and dating back [[Sonic Adventure 2|over 50 years]].
:'''Walters''': What was it?
:'''Faucet''': Coordinates, sir.
:'''Walters''': Coordinates... to what?
:''[Scene cuts to a laboratory, where a containment capsule is opening, revealing a dormant black and red hedgehog, resembling Sonic, inside it]''
:'''Faucet''': ''[voice over]'' A secret research facility. It was a black site, sir. Someone worked very hard to keep this hidden.
:'''Walters''': ''[voice over; realizes]'' My god... [[w:Shadow the Hedgehog|Project Shadow]].
: ''[Shadow opens his eyes which ignite with energy]''

===Deleted and Extended Scenes===

:''['''Mushroom Planet''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Sonic sneaking out''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Laundry room''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Wade Meets Tails''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Eggman's scheme''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''['''Mean Bean hideout''']''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;


== Cast ==
* '''[[w:James Marsden|James Marsden]]''' — Tom Wachowski
* '''[[Jim Carrey]]''' — [[w:Doctor Eggman|Dr. Robotnik]]
* '''[[w:Tika Sumpter|Tika Sumpter]]''' — Maddie Wachowski
* '''[[w:Natasha Rothwell|Natasha Rothwell]]''' — Rachel
* '''[[w:Adam Pally|Adam Pally]]''' — Wade
* '''[[w:Shemar Moore|Shemar Moore]]''' — Randall
* '''[[w:Lee Majdoub|Lee Majdoub]]''' — Agent Stone
* '''[[w:Tom Butler (actor)|Tom Butler]]''' — Walters
* '''Melody Niemann''' — Jojo
* '''Sarah Surh''' — Agent Faucet

===Voices===
* '''[[w:Ben Schwartz|Ben Schwartz]]''' — [[w:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic]]
* '''[[w:Colleen O'Shaughnessey|Colleen O'Shaughnessey]]''' — [[w:Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog)|Tails]];
* '''[[Idris Elba]]''' — {{w|Knuckles the Echidna}}
* '''[[w:Donna J. Fulks|Donna Jay Fulks]]''' — Longclaw

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia|Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (film)}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Japanese films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films based on video games]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on video games]]
[[Category:Animated films about robots]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]
[[Category:Films about vacationing]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Films about terrorism]]
[[Category:Films set in Hawaii]]
[[Category:Films set in Montana]]
[[Category:Films set in Russia]]
[[Category:Films set in Seattle]]
[[Category:Films based on Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]</text>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Critical race theory</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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      <id>3154687</id>
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      <text bytes="2359" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Critical race theory|Critical race theory]]''' ('''CRT''') is a cross-disciplinary intellectual and social movement of civil-rights scholars and activists who seek to examine the intersection of race, society, and law in the United States and to challenge mainstream American liberal approaches to racial justice. 

[[File:Critical race theory book display.jpg|thumb|Critical race theory book display]]

{{stub}}
== Quotes ==

* Conservatives have got the culture-war act down. Trump was a culture-war president with almost no policy arm attached. The question conservatives at the conference were asking was how to move beyond owning the libs to effecting actual change. &lt;br&gt;Christopher Rufo, the architect of this year’s school-board-meeting protests against critical race theory, argued that conservatives had erred when they tried to slowly gain power in elite cultural institutions. Conservatives were never going to make headway in the Ivy League or the corporate media. Instead, Rufo argued, they should rally the masses to get state legislatures to pass laws embracing their values. That’s essentially what’s now happening across red America.
**[[David Brooks]], as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/scary-future-american-right-national-conservatism-conference/620746/ The Terrifying Future of the American Right] (18 November 2021), ''The Atlantic''

* [P]rogressives on the left have shown themselves willing to abandon liberal values in pursuit of social justice objectives. There has been a sustained intellectual attack on liberal principles over the past three decades coming out of academic pursuits like gender studies, critical race theory, postcolonial studies, and queer theory, that deny the universalistic premises underlying modern liberalism. The challenge is not simply one of intolerance of other views or “cancel culture” in the academy or the arts. Rather, the challenge is to basic principles that all human beings were born equal in a fundamental sense, or that a liberal society should strive to be color-blind.
** [[Francis Fukuyama]], [https://www.americanpurpose.com/articles/liberalism-and-its-discontent/ &quot;Liberalism and its Discontents: The challenges from the left and the right&quot;] (5 October 2020), ''American Purpose''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Politics]]</text>
      <sha1>0ucc3znsx3yh29a5apl91k6n130eo5l</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154692</id>
      <parentid>3154687</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:33:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AC9016</username>
        <id>2870313</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3407" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Critical race theory|Critical race theory]]''' ('''CRT''') is a cross-disciplinary intellectual and social movement of civil-rights scholars and activists who seek to examine the intersection of race, society, and law in the United States and to challenge mainstream American liberal approaches to racial justice. 

[[File:Critical race theory book display.jpg|thumb|Critical race theory book display]]

{{stub}}
== Quotes ==

* Conservatives have got the culture-war act down. Trump was a culture-war president with almost no policy arm attached. The question conservatives at the conference were asking was how to move beyond owning the libs to effecting actual change. &lt;br&gt;Christopher Rufo, the architect of this year’s school-board-meeting protests against critical race theory, argued that conservatives had erred when they tried to slowly gain power in elite cultural institutions. Conservatives were never going to make headway in the Ivy League or the corporate media. Instead, Rufo argued, they should rally the masses to get state legislatures to pass laws embracing their values. That’s essentially what’s now happening across red America.
**[[David Brooks]], as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/scary-future-american-right-national-conservatism-conference/620746/ The Terrifying Future of the American Right] (18 November 2021), ''The Atlantic''

* [P]rogressives on the left have shown themselves willing to abandon liberal values in pursuit of social justice objectives. There has been a sustained intellectual attack on liberal principles over the past three decades coming out of academic pursuits like gender studies, critical race theory, postcolonial studies, and queer theory, that deny the universalistic premises underlying modern liberalism. The challenge is not simply one of intolerance of other views or “cancel culture” in the academy or the arts. Rather, the challenge is to basic principles that all human beings were born equal in a fundamental sense, or that a liberal society should strive to be color-blind.
** [[Francis Fukuyama]], [https://www.americanpurpose.com/articles/liberalism-and-its-discontent/ &quot;Liberalism and its Discontents: The challenges from the left and the right&quot;] (5 October 2020), ''American Purpose''

* With the public rise of the COVID-(16)19 effect, the Left in America has mounted a sinister defense: ''nothing to see here''. Rank-and-file Democrats like former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe say criticisms of critical race theory are &quot;conspiracy theories.&quot; So-called Squad member Ilhan Omar tweeted in June 2021, &quot;Republicans love to create outrage over things that aren't actually happening. People should be asking them, what elementary, middle and high school is teaching Critical Race Theory and why they are spinning false narratives.&quot; Nikole Hannah-Jones, the chief author and proponent of the critical race theory-based 1619 Project, says her newly formed black liberation schools are &quot;not teaching critical race theory.&quot; Even the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, [[Mark Milley]], repeatedly dismissed claims that elements of critical race theory are being taught at West Point and throughout the military. He's focused on &quot;white rage&quot; instead.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 28

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Politics]]</text>
      <sha1>e5nvae1oiwlem44yr49hv5rugvd4p7i</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154693</id>
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      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5953" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Critical race theory|Critical race theory]]''' ('''CRT''') is a cross-disciplinary intellectual and social movement of civil-rights scholars and activists who seek to examine the intersection of race, society, and law in the United States and to challenge mainstream American liberal approaches to racial justice. 

[[File:Critical race theory book display.jpg|thumb|Critical race theory book display]]

{{stub}}
== Quotes ==

* Conservatives have got the culture-war act down. Trump was a culture-war president with almost no policy arm attached. The question conservatives at the conference were asking was how to move beyond owning the libs to effecting actual change. &lt;br&gt;Christopher Rufo, the architect of this year’s school-board-meeting protests against critical race theory, argued that conservatives had erred when they tried to slowly gain power in elite cultural institutions. Conservatives were never going to make headway in the Ivy League or the corporate media. Instead, Rufo argued, they should rally the masses to get state legislatures to pass laws embracing their values. That’s essentially what’s now happening across red America.
**[[David Brooks]], as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/scary-future-american-right-national-conservatism-conference/620746/ The Terrifying Future of the American Right] (18 November 2021), ''The Atlantic''

* [P]rogressives on the left have shown themselves willing to abandon liberal values in pursuit of social justice objectives. There has been a sustained intellectual attack on liberal principles over the past three decades coming out of academic pursuits like gender studies, critical race theory, postcolonial studies, and queer theory, that deny the universalistic premises underlying modern liberalism. The challenge is not simply one of intolerance of other views or “cancel culture” in the academy or the arts. Rather, the challenge is to basic principles that all human beings were born equal in a fundamental sense, or that a liberal society should strive to be color-blind.
** [[Francis Fukuyama]], [https://www.americanpurpose.com/articles/liberalism-and-its-discontent/ &quot;Liberalism and its Discontents: The challenges from the left and the right&quot;] (5 October 2020), ''American Purpose''

* With the public rise of the COVID-(16)19 effect, the Left in America has mounted a sinister defense: ''nothing to see here''. Rank-and-file Democrats like former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe say criticisms of critical race theory are &quot;conspiracy theories.&quot; So-called Squad member Ilhan Omar tweeted in June 2021, &quot;Republicans love to create outrage over things that aren't actually happening. People should be asking them, what elementary, middle and high school is teaching Critical Race Theory and why they are spinning false narratives.&quot; Nikole Hannah-Jones, the chief author and proponent of the critical race theory-based 1619 Project, says her newly formed black liberation schools are &quot;not teaching critical race theory.&quot; Even the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, [[Mark Milley]], repeatedly dismissed claims that elements of critical race theory are being taught at West Point and throughout the military. He's focused on &quot;white rage&quot; instead.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 28

* More specific to the classroom, the two largest teachers unions in America- the American Federation of Teachers (AFT) and the National Education Association (NEA) deny outright that critical race theory is being taught, even while AFT invites [[Ibram X. Kendi]]- the author of ''How to Be an Antiracist''- to be a featured speaker at their 2021 national conference. Moreover, while denying the teaching of racial and gender theories in the classrooms, both unions have multimillion dollar legal funds dedicated to defending teachers who run afoul of local or state laws that ban the teaching of critical race theory. Like corporate America, higher education, mass media, and our military, these unions call their efforts &quot;diversity, equity, and inclusion&quot; (DEI)- obfuscating their Marxist aims in cozy language. Note to self: when the left denies something, they are usually just confirming it.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 28-29

* These unions and fellow-traveler Leftists have good reason to deny the existence of radical left-wing theories. The curriculum, and teachers, almost never come out and state what they are teaching is &quot;critical race theory.&quot; They don't have to. Instead, they hide behind coded language that is designed to confuse parents and hide the real goal. The preferred language of the Left is ever changing, which- as the authors of the fantastic book ''Cynical Theories'' point out- is because &quot;they stem from a very particular view of the world- one that even speaks its own language in a way. Within the English-speaking world, they speak English, but they use everyday words differently from the rest of us.&quot;&lt;br&gt;A key part of the Left's CRT denial is the way in which they hide the difference between ''curriculum'' and ''pedagogy''- a distinction that has recently risen to the forefront in public debates. ''Pedagogy'' refers to the methods, practices, and purposes of teaching; ''curriculum'' is what is specifically being taught. Curriculum is what kids are taught; pedagogy is how they're taught. Some today believe education is primarily an information and skill transfer, so they tend to talk only about what skills or information are taught- what content is on the curriculum. The hidden secret, used effectively by Progressives, is pedagogy- method of teaching. They deny CRT is in the curriculum, instead embedding their entire CRT methodology into their teaching pedagogy.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Modern Warriors'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2020), p. 29

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Politics]]</text>
      <sha1>3tmvge81lwy50arrip06djya9op63q4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154695</id>
      <parentid>3154693</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T21:42:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>AC9016</username>
        <id>2870313</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6103" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Critical race theory|Critical race theory]]''' ('''CRT''') is a cross-disciplinary intellectual and social movement of civil-rights scholars and activists who seek to examine the intersection of race, society, and law in the United States and to challenge mainstream American liberal approaches to racial justice. 

[[File:Critical race theory book display.jpg|thumb|Critical race theory book display]]

{{stub}}
== Quotes ==

* Conservatives have got the culture-war act down. Trump was a culture-war president with almost no policy arm attached. The question conservatives at the conference were asking was how to move beyond owning the libs to effecting actual change. &lt;br&gt;Christopher Rufo, the architect of this year’s school-board-meeting protests against critical race theory, argued that conservatives had erred when they tried to slowly gain power in elite cultural institutions. Conservatives were never going to make headway in the Ivy League or the corporate media. Instead, Rufo argued, they should rally the masses to get state legislatures to pass laws embracing their values. That’s essentially what’s now happening across red America.
**[[David Brooks]], as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/scary-future-american-right-national-conservatism-conference/620746/ The Terrifying Future of the American Right] (18 November 2021), ''The Atlantic''

* [P]rogressives on the left have shown themselves willing to abandon liberal values in pursuit of social justice objectives. There has been a sustained intellectual attack on liberal principles over the past three decades coming out of academic pursuits like gender studies, critical race theory, postcolonial studies, and queer theory, that deny the universalistic premises underlying modern liberalism. The challenge is not simply one of intolerance of other views or “cancel culture” in the academy or the arts. Rather, the challenge is to basic principles that all human beings were born equal in a fundamental sense, or that a liberal society should strive to be color-blind.
** [[Francis Fukuyama]], [https://www.americanpurpose.com/articles/liberalism-and-its-discontent/ &quot;Liberalism and its Discontents: The challenges from the left and the right&quot;] (5 October 2020), ''American Purpose''

* With the public rise of the COVID-(16)19 effect, the Left in America has mounted a sinister defense: ''nothing to see here''. Rank-and-file Democrats like former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe say criticisms of critical race theory are &quot;conspiracy theories.&quot; So-called Squad member Ilhan Omar tweeted in June 2021, &quot;Republicans love to create outrage over things that aren't actually happening. People should be asking them, what elementary, middle and high school is teaching Critical Race Theory and why they are spinning false narratives.&quot; Nikole Hannah-Jones, the chief author and proponent of the critical race theory-based 1619 Project, says her newly formed black liberation schools are &quot;not teaching critical race theory.&quot; Even the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, [[Mark Milley]], repeatedly dismissed claims that elements of critical race theory are being taught at West Point and throughout the military. He's focused on &quot;white rage&quot; instead.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 28

* More specific to the classroom, the two largest teachers unions in America- the American Federation of Teachers (AFT) and the National Education Association (NEA) deny outright that critical race theory is being taught, even while AFT invites [[Ibram X. Kendi]]- the author of ''How to Be an Antiracist''- to be a featured speaker at their 2021 national conference. Moreover, while denying the teaching of racial and gender theories in the classrooms, both unions have multimillion dollar legal funds dedicated to defending teachers who run afoul of local or state laws that ban the teaching of critical race theory. Like corporate America, higher education, mass media, and our military, these unions call their efforts &quot;diversity, equity, and inclusion&quot; (DEI)- obfuscating their Marxist aims in cozy language. Note to self: when the left denies something, they are usually just confirming it.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 28-29

* These unions and fellow-traveler Leftists have good reason to deny the existence of radical left-wing theories. The curriculum, and teachers, almost never come out and state what they are teaching is &quot;critical race theory.&quot; They don't have to. Instead, they hide behind coded language that is designed to confuse parents and hide the real goal. The preferred language of the Left is ever changing, which- as the authors of the fantastic book ''Cynical Theories'' point out- is because &quot;they stem from a very particular view of the world- one that even speaks its own language in a way. Within the English-speaking world, they speak English, but they use everyday words differently from the rest of us.&quot;&lt;br&gt;A key part of the Left's CRT denial is the way in which they hide the difference between ''curriculum'' and ''pedagogy''- a distinction that has recently risen to the forefront in public debates. ''Pedagogy'' refers to the methods, practices, and purposes of teaching; ''curriculum'' is what is specifically being taught. Curriculum is what kids are taught; pedagogy is how they're taught. Some today believe education is primarily an information and skill transfer, so they tend to talk only about what skills or information are taught- what content is on the curriculum. The hidden secret, used effectively by Progressives, is pedagogy- method of teaching. They deny CRT is in the curriculum, instead embedding their entire CRT methodology into their teaching pedagogy.
** [[Pete Hegseth]], ''Battle for the American Mind: Uprooting a Century of Miseducation'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022), p. 29

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Politics]]</text>
      <sha1>hyz58sblqi7gbjs0ljf6r1k8ep658xa</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>2022 monkeypox outbreak</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>247609</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154826</id>
      <parentid>3151937</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:43:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ 5:00 AM not needed</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1992" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination]

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] '''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'''  (June 25, 2022)

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>7ads65dy726o5nfhstdvkng1h1yg9i4</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154827</id>
      <parentid>3154826</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:44:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ missing date, fmt</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2007" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>gsmgxxpff43vqdvobkxrsa0txi8b9lt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154828</id>
      <parentid>3154827</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:48:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ * Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2494" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>ohiodwvtd17zdzn7g1bive2ris34lng</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154829</id>
      <parentid>3154828</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:48:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ ** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2797" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.
** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>d036udnqkmj3us0a70tp3ewmrtg7r4z</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154831</id>
      <parentid>3154829</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:53:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ * We are prepared to take our response to the next level in addressing this virus and we urge every American to take monkeypox seriously. ** Xavier Becerra, Secretary of Health and Human Services, &quot;[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/04/1115676160/white-house-declares-monkeypox-a-public-health-emergency White House declares monkeypox a public health emergency]&quot;, ''NPR'' (August 4, 2022).</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3204" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.
** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}

* We are prepared to take our response to the next level in addressing this virus and we urge every American to take monkeypox seriously.
** Xavier Becerra, Secretary of Health and Human Services, &quot;[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/04/1115676160/white-house-declares-monkeypox-a-public-health-emergency White House declares monkeypox a public health emergency]&quot;, ''NPR'' (August 4, 2022).

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>gafvtbcvcsjr7s45h5qzytnwgn55mfe</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154832</id>
      <parentid>3154831</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:54:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ w-link</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3210" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* The Gran Canarian pride festival attended by 80,000 from Britain and across Europe is being investigated after being linked to numerous monkeypox cases in Madrid, Italy and Tenerife.&lt;ref name=&quot;Pride festival in Gran Canaria - which was attended by 80,000 people - is linked to Spanish monkeypox outbreak as well as two cases in Italy while European total reaches 100&quot;&gt;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10839877/Monkeypox-outbreak-Europes-biggest-100-cases-reported.html&lt;/ref&gt;{{Better source needed}}

* An announcement on the new name would be made “as soon as possible”, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.
** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}

* We are prepared to take our response to the next level in addressing this virus and we urge every American to take monkeypox seriously.
** {{w|Xavier Becerra}}, Secretary of Health and Human Services, &quot;[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/04/1115676160/white-house-declares-monkeypox-a-public-health-emergency White House declares monkeypox a public health emergency]&quot;, ''NPR'' (August 4, 2022).

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>m9mzumgu9moj5a3i99xhxz9y0zdwrju</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154834</id>
      <parentid>3154832</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:03:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ remove insufficiently sourced</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2696" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* An announcement on the new name would be made &quot;as soon as possible&quot;, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.
** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}

* We are prepared to take our response to the next level in addressing this virus and we urge every American to take monkeypox seriously.
** {{w|Xavier Becerra}}, Secretary of Health and Human Services, &quot;[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/04/1115676160/white-house-declares-monkeypox-a-public-health-emergency White House declares monkeypox a public health emergency]&quot;, ''NPR'' (August 4, 2022).

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>ov6oqvforhibi9kxti168zya1lcu8lh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154836</id>
      <parentid>3154834</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:06:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ * Declaring a PHEIC makes governments and the global public sit up and take notice. It raises the political stakes for government leaders, and it raises the level of accountability for them to act. ** {{w|Lawrence Gostin}}, on the United Nations declaration of a Public Health Emergency of International Concern for monkeypox. In Will Sullivan, &quot;[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/monkeypox-is-a-global-health-emergency-who-says-180980475/ WHO Declares Monkeypox a Global Health</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3239" xml:space="preserve">{{vfd-new}}
The [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak|2022 monkeypox outbreak]] is an ongoing outbreak of [[W:monkeypox|monkeypox]]. It was confirmed on 6 May 2022 in the United Kingdom, beginning with a British resident who had travelled to Nigeria, where the disease is endemic, who while there presented symptoms consistent with monkeypox on 29 April 2022. 

== Quotes ==
* An announcement on the new name would be made &quot;as soon as possible&quot;, said Tedros.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]]  [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/15/who-to-rename-monkeypox-virus-to-avoid-discrimination WHO to rename monkeypox virus to avoid discrimination] (June 15, 2022).

* Infections have been largely found in men who have [[sex]] with men, who may typically seek care at a sexual [[health]] clinic. Those providers may be particularly well-educated now about monkeypox and may be more willing to send a specimen out for testing. But we may not be seeing that level of education and willingness to test with other health care providers, who see different kinds of patients. And that means we may be missing infections in different patient groups.
** Jennifer Nuzzo, an [[epidemiologist]] at [[Brown University]] ''[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/06/25/1107416457/monkeypox-outbreak-in-us Monkeypox outbreak in U.S. is bigger than the CDC reports. Testing is 'abysmal']'' (June 25, 2022).

* Declaring a PHEIC makes governments and the global public sit up and take notice. It raises the political stakes for government leaders, and it raises the level of accountability for them to act.
** {{w|Lawrence Gostin}}, on the United Nations declaration of a Public Health Emergency of International Concern for monkeypox. In Will Sullivan, &quot;[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/monkeypox-is-a-global-health-emergency-who-says-180980475/ WHO Declares Monkeypox a Global Health Emergency]&quot;, ''Smithsonian Magazine'' (July 26, 2022).

* Public health officials reject comparisons to the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, when they mandated masks and shut down public spaces. They noted that the novel coronavirus was unfamiliar, far deadlier and airborne, with hospitals overrun with patients at various points over the past two years. Monkeypox has known treatments and vaccines, although they have been challenging to access; it also has not killed anyone in the United States, and hospitalizations are uncommon.
** {{Cite news |last=Nirappil |first=Fenit |last2=Jayakumar |first2=Amrita |date=2022-08-04 |title=As monkeypox strikes gay men, officials debate warnings to limit partners |work=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/08/04/monkeypox-gay-safe-sex/ |access-date=2022-08-06}}

* We are prepared to take our response to the next level in addressing this virus and we urge every American to take monkeypox seriously.
** {{w|Xavier Becerra}}, Secretary of Health and Human Services, &quot;[https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/04/1115676160/white-house-declares-monkeypox-a-public-health-emergency White House declares monkeypox a public health emergency]&quot;, ''NPR'' (August 4, 2022).

== External Links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Viruses]]
[[Category:Diseases and disorders]]</text>
      <sha1>qr4xvlowhstwqy7zieh1i3j0m0lvj6s</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/2022 monkeypox outbreak</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>247802</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154830</id>
      <parentid>3146294</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T07:51:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>BD2412</username>
        <id>3982</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* 2022 monkeypox outbreak */ *'''Keep'''. {{ping|UDScott|HouseOfChange|Rubbish computer|Rauisuchian}} Circumstances have changed.</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="15208" xml:space="preserve">== [[2022 monkeypox outbreak]] ==
Listed material us unlikely to meet [[Wikiquote:Quotability]]; the quotes are just ordinary objective reports of the situation with no preference on their specific wording. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 07:32, 1 June 2022 (UTC)

* &lt;s&gt;'''Keep''' Quotes might be bad, but it's too notable to simply delete.&lt;/s&gt; Edit: '''Delete''', there is nothing really good about the article. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 09:14, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
*: Have you tried to look for quotes which are not &quot;bad&quot; concerning this topic? I tried and couldn't find any. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 19:37, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
*::{{ping|1234qwer1234qwer4}} If there really are '''zero''' good quotes, than consider my vote to a &quot;'''Delete'''&quot;. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 19:55, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
*::@[[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|1234qwer1234qwer4]],  I am glad you have joined the discussion. I hope I can ask you a couple of questions without being accused of of being incivil:
*::* Do you recall ever adding quotes to any article on WQ?, if so can you provide a few examples of your work.
*::* Do you recall improving any health related articles on WQ?, ditto. 
*::I am asking because I don't have a good memory, but do not recall seeing any of your content building work on WQ. I am also wondering about your comment below:
*::'''there is no merit in attempting that on things that &quot;just simply may not belong here&quot;'''
*::Is it your opinion that this article simply does not belong on WQ, and if so why do you believe this?  Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:10, 17 June 2022 (UTC) In regards to &quot;I tried and couldn't find any&quot;: Why are you so certain that none of the 251 inline references of the enwp article have any quotable quotes? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:22, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
*::: &lt;small&gt;(edit conflict)&lt;/small&gt; I am not accusing you of being incivil, but I have already said below: VfD is about discussing ''articles, not editors''. I do not see how these questions contribute to the discussion (with the rest of the community, keep in mind, not just the nominator or any other arbitrary user specifically) on whether or not the quotes on this page meet Wikiquote's inclusion standards? [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 21:27, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
*::::@[[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|1234qwer1234qwer4]], Why won't you answer questions such as
*::::*&quot;Why are you so certain that none of the [[w:2022 monkeypox outbreak#References|251 inline references]] of the enwp article have any quotable quotes?&quot; 
*::::or 
*::::* &quot;Is it your opinion that this article simply does not belong on WQ?&quot;
*::::This has nothing to do with commenting on editors and everything to do with the rationale you used in nominating this article for deletion. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:29, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
*::::: Yes, you added the first of these question in the [[Special:Diff/3130150|edit I conflicted with]] and I did not bother to look what it was about at that moment, sorry. The condition of being listed at Wikipedia is somewhat arbitrary, but discussing whether or not there are quotable quotes on the topic at hand is the point of this venue. I have not found any; however, so far nobody of the other participants could provide any such material either. If ''you'' can, great, but so far this article does not contain any quotes worthy of inclusion, and deleting it would not keep editors off from recreating it with appropriate quotes.
:::::: As for the second question, you may or may not know that [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]] &quot;discusses whether a page should be deleted or not&quot;, so you can assume that anybody nominating a page for deletion here does indeed opine &quot;that this article simply does not belong on WQ&quot;. The reasons for that opinion are generally stated in the nomination, so maybe you could try looking there. [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 05:14, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
*:::{{ping|Ottawahitech}} By asking if an editor has ever added a quote on a platform exclusively for quotes is slightly offensive. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:52, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
*::::Why? There are many users who have-not added any quotes. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 02:58, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
* '''Delete''' in its current form. I agree that the topic is notable, but the listed quotes are not. If better quotes were found, I would change my mind, but as is it is not worthy of keeping. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:51, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
*'''Comment''' Going to attempt some research for this topic. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] ([[User talk:Rubbish computer|''Talk'']]: [[Special:Contributions/Rubbish computer|''Contribs'']]) 19:25, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
:I can technically find ''quotes'' but they don't meet [[Wikiquote:Quotability]]. It's just medical advice and news reporting. I would propose to '''delete''' unless such quotes can be found. It may be too soon for them to exist. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] ([[User talk:Rubbish computer|''Talk'']]: [[Special:Contributions/Rubbish computer|''Contribs'']]) 22:24, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
: '''Delete''' a recent news topic that has so far attracted no notable quotable quotes. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:52, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
* '''Delete''' Not really quotable materials at this point. -- [[User:Rauisuchian|Rauisuchian]] ([[User talk:Rauisuchian|talk]]) 11:41, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
* {{ds|'''Keep'''}} I have just added a quote
** '''Comment''' Why are the participants in this discussion not spending more time on building instead of destroying? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:20, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
*** FYI https://pageviews.wmcloud.org/?project=en.wikiquote.org&amp;platform=all-access&amp;agent=user&amp;redirects=0&amp;range=latest-20&amp;pages=Wikiquote:Votes_for_deletion/2022_monkeypox_outbreak|2022_monkeypox_outbreak [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:28, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
::{{ping|Ottawahitech}}, I would read through [[Wikiquote:Quotability]]. The comparison between the two page's pageviews doesn't really make sense. The statement that editors who, like you, are &quot;destroying&quot; is uncivil and makes me think of what a new user with no experience would say, not what one who has done genuinely good work, like you, would say. Not everything warrants a Wikiquote page; that doesn't mean there's nowhere the page would be useful, it just simply may not belong here. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 16:45, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:Rubbish computer|Rubbish computer]], I would rather not debate who is more [https://dictionary.tn/is-it-incivil-or-uncivil/ uncivil/incivil]. I would rather lay out some simple arithmetic that everyone can agree with:
:::* seven non-IP users have contributed to this deletion discussion
:::* four non-IP users and three IP users contributed to the actual article that is being nominated for deletion in this discussion
:::* on  21 May 2022 the article was created by an IP user, it was tagged as a ''Proposed deletion'' within 3 hours 
:::** ''Proposed deletions (PRODs)'' are described in a '''WQ-Policy''' namely: [[Wikiquote:Proposed deletion]]
:::*** According to this policy: &quot;This process should only be used for articles that are '''uncontroversial deletion candidates''' that '''obviously do not belong''' in the Wikiquote quote compendium'''
:::** On 31 May 2022 I removed the PROD tag, and had my action promptly reverted with a stern '''please wait for an admin''' edit summary.
:::*** I spent additional time on the tagger's [[User_talk:1234qwer1234qwer4#PROD_request?|user-talkpage]] to remind them that anyone is free to remove PROD-tags, no need for admin permission. In total this used up 6 more edits that contributed zero improvement to the article, and used up time I would have preferred to use adding content to our '''compendium of quotes'''.
:::** On June 1 I removed the PROD tag for the second time, just to have the original tagger replace it with a Votes for deletion (VFD) tag
:::Summary: Only two non-IP users, out of a total 11, attempted to improve the article. There were  17+6+12=35 corresponding edits, but only 6 edits were an attempt to improve the article. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:16, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
::::Okay, {{u|Ottawahitech}}, but please follow [[w:WP:CIVIL]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 15:22, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
:::: I can't see how bringing up the edits to the page is relevant in this discussion. VfD is about discussing ''articles, not editors''. I have already apologised for reverting your removal of the PROD tag on my talk page, so I am not sure what point you are trying to make about it now, neither do I see what is objectively wrong with &quot;replac[ing] it with a Votes for deletion (VFD) tag&quot;, which means nothing but starting a discussion after your removal made clear that the article would not be an &quot;''uncontroversial'' deletion candidate&quot; as required by PROD. As for &quot;attempt[s] to improve the article&quot;, I believe @[[User:Rubbish computer|Rubbish computer]]'s comment you were replying to already explained that there is no merit in attempting that on things that &quot;just simply may not belong here&quot;{{snd}}and a web search shows that there are no quotes meeting the criteria of this project on this topic at the moment. (Feel free to prove that wrong though, but do remember [[Wikiquote:Quotability]].) [[User:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝟙𝟤𝟯𝟺𝐪𝑤𝒆𝓇𝟷𝟮𝟥𝟜𝓺𝔴𝕖𝖗𝟰]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|𝗍𝗮𝘭𝙠]]) 19:34, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
:::@[[User:Rubbish computer|Rubbish computer]], Re: &quot;The comparison between the two page's pageviews doesn't really make sense.&quot;
:::It makes perfect sense to me. The comparison between pageviews of the page nominated for deletion and the page where the deletion is being debated clearly shows that '''a lot of energy is being diverted away from improving the article''' in question. AND, unfortunately, it appears this trend will accelerate in the next days. 
:::I am saying this with a heavy heart, but after reading a seemingly unrelated discussion regarding the use of paywalled sources on WQ, it appears I am not the only person around who feels '''WQ is in trouble'''. The person who conveyed this information is, unlike most of the participants on this deletion board, someone who has contributed A LOT of content to WQ, but rarely participates in discussion. I am not the most eloquent person around, and I do not enjoy participating in Dramah boards. The only reason I am here is my gut feeling that deletion does not fix the important issues we face trying to  build this &quot;compendium of quotes&quot;. All this does is take away attention from the real issues that we must confront.
:::IMIO we should be drawing new participants into more productive pursuits and away from endless discussion. People without experience in building content should not be making decisions for the rest. YMMV. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:09, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
::I'm not interested in taking this conversation any further. I voted Delete based on [[Wikiquote:Quotability]], the article doesn't meet it, that's literally it. [[User:Rubbish computer|''Rubbish computer'']] (''Ping me or leave a message on my'' [[User talk:Rubbish computer|''talk page'']]) 18:21, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
:'''Keep''' [[User:AntisocialRyan|AntisocialRyan]] ([[User talk:AntisocialRyan|talk]]) 14:04, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
* '''Keep '''  [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] is a guideline that describes what good quotes are, it does not tell us when articles should be deleted. [[Wikiquote: Deletion policy]] is where we should be looking to see if this article should be kept or deleted, and it is clear that the rationale for deletion that has been used in this deletion discussion '''cannot''' be used when one follows official policy. 
:The policy states quite clearly that articles which are capable of meeting inclusion criteria should not be deleted. The key word is '''capable'''. In other words, articles which  currently do not meet inclusion criteria, but are capable of meeting this criteria in future, should be kept. Since WQ has dozens of similar articles (see: [[:Category:Diseases and disorders]]), I don't see how anyone can convince us that an article about this particular disease is not capable of meeting WQ criteria. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 01:07, 19 June 2022 (UTC)
'''Comment'''
I happened to see two articles on monkeypox the may contain decent quotes:
* https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/3519566-here-are-ways-to-protect-yourself-and-others-from-monkeypox/
* https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/3529793-first-probable-monkeypox-cases-reported-in-missouri-indiana/
When will this VFD be closed? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:35, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

'''Quotes'''
* We have an outbreak that has spread around the world rapidly through new modes of transmission about which we understand too little and which meets the criteria in the international health regulations. I know this has not been an easy or straightforward process and that there are divergent views among the members of the committee.
** [[Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus]] [https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/who-monkeypox-emergency-committee-1.6530174 WHO declares expanding monkeypox outbreak a global emergency] (Jul 23, 2022) [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:12, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

*'''Keep'''. {{ping|UDScott|HouseOfChange|Rubbish computer|Rauisuchian}} Circumstances have changed. [[User:BD2412|&lt;font style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/font&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 07:51, 15 August 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>mbh54w3immyn2z3xt72yn5wccfboqjp</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Josh Duffy</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
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        <id>3124906</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1427" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Josh-Duffy-1.jpg|thumb|I'm not black, I'm not white, I'm the grey in the middle.]]

'''Josh Duffy''' was born '''Joshua Dale Duffy''' on November 3, 1978 and is the subject of the [[w:Documentary_Film|Documentary]] '''THE MAYOR: A Chronicle of Williams Syndrome, with Josh Duffy'''. Josh has a rare [[w:Deletion_(genetics)|genetic deletion]] on [[w:Chromosome_7|chromosome 7]] resulting in [[w:Williams_syndrome|Williams syndrome]].

== Film Quotes ==
* Disease's mess with you from the outside, but syndromes mess with you from the inside.
* I don't believe that A B &amp; C = D. It equals Z
* Sometimes the salt taste good, but I'd rather have the sugar.
* If ignorance is bliss, then I’m a blister
* Ignore the normal people, who knows what they’re thinking.
* If I have to start fires, to put out fires, then so be it. 
* Forget normal, I need better!
* I'm a parasite inside a parasite inside of a host. 
* I want to know the side effects before I swallow the pill
* I’m not an easy pill to swallow, not hard to vomit either. 
* Don't push the envelope. Shove the envelope.

== External links ==
* [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm13277769/ Josh Duffy] at [[w:IMDb|IMDb]].
* [https://jake-jakubowski.fandom.com/wiki/Josh_Duffy Josh Duffy] at [[w:Fandom_(website)|Fandom]].
* [https://www.themoviedb.org/person/3469726-josh-duffy Josh Duffy] at [[d:Q20828898|TMDB]]

[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:1978 births]]</text>
      <sha1>n0apx7loc4ksqhofm68o8zmnheg49w2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154847</id>
      <parentid>3154846</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T09:21:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Jake-jakubowski</username>
        <id>3124906</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1495" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Josh-Duffy-1.jpg|thumb|I'm not black, I'm not white, I'm the grey in the middle.]]

'''Josh Duffy''' was born '''Joshua Dale Duffy''' on November 3, 1978 and is the subject of the [[w:Documentary_Film|Documentary]] '''THE MAYOR: A Chronicle of Williams Syndrome, with Josh Duffy'''. Josh has a rare [[w:Deletion_(genetics)|genetic deletion]] on [[w:Chromosome_7|chromosome 7]] resulting in [[w:Williams_syndrome|Williams syndrome]].

== Film Quotes ==
* Disease's mess with you from the outside, but syndromes mess with you from the inside.
* I don't believe that A B &amp; C = D. It equals Z
* Sometimes the salt taste good, but I'd rather have the sugar.
* If ignorance is bliss, then I’m a blister
* Ignore the normal people, who knows what they’re thinking.
* If I have to start fires, to put out fires, then so be it. 
* Forget normal, I need better!
* I'm a parasite inside a parasite inside of a host. 
* I want to know the side effects before I swallow the pill
* I’m not an easy pill to swallow, not hard to vomit either. 
* Don't push the envelope. Shove the envelope.

== External links ==
* [https://www.dmjproductions.com/wiki/Josh_Duffy Josh Duffy] wiki.
* [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm13277769/ Josh Duffy] at [[w:IMDb|IMDb]].
* [https://jake-jakubowski.fandom.com/wiki/Josh_Duffy Josh Duffy] at [[w:Fandom_(website)|Fandom]].
* [https://www.themoviedb.org/person/3469726-josh-duffy Josh Duffy] at [[d:Q20828898|TMDB]]

[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:1978 births]]</text>
      <sha1>dzxzugl9o0viqr3xaarauog1cgluxqn</sha1>
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  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Tun Tun Min</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249198</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154855</id>
      <parentid>3146608</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T10:10:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Lethweimaster</username>
        <id>3065847</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2229" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tun Tun Min at Media conference in Myanmar.png|thumb]]

'''[[w:Tun Tun Min|Tun Tun Min]]''' (born 4 October 1992) is a [[Myanmar|Burmese]] [[w:Lethwei|Lethwei]] fighter and former Openweight Lethwei World Champion. He is the youngest fighter to ever win the [[w:Lethwei#Golden Belt|Golden Belt]], obtaining the title at age 21 and is notable for fighting foreign challengers from outside [[Myanmar]].

{{sport-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* My knee has recovered but I need to do extreme training. I’m trying to get back to my best form, and I beleive in myself.
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/news/back-injury-tun-tun-min-raring-go.html/ Myanmar Times] (November 30, 2017)

* I am very interested in Lethwei since my childhood and know it will help us to escape from poverty.
** As quoted in [https://www.aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/ethnic-muslim-fighter-eyes-myanmar-s-kickboxing-crown/1325639/ ''Ethnic Muslim fighter eyes Myanmar’s kickboxing crown''] (November 30, 2018)

* Some people are racist and rude. I understand if they support my opponents, but it's heartbreaking to hear them shout discriminatory words against me.
** On facing discrimination in Myanmar for belonging to the [[Muslim]] minority.[https://www.aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/ethnic-muslim-fighter-eyes-myanmar-s-kickboxing-crown/1325639/ ''Ethnic Muslim fighter eyes Myanmar’s kickboxing crown''] (November 30, 2018)

* I don’t want to fight local fighters again. I want to fight foreign fighters and make our traditional Lethwei famous access the world.
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/sports/martial-arts/19492-friendship-before-fights.html/ ''Myanmar Times''] (March 16, 2016)

=== On [[Dave Leduc]] ===
* My immediate target is [[Dave Leduc|Leduc]]. I want to fight him in 2018. Lethwei is Myanmar traditional sport, that is why the champion should be a local fighter. 
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/news/back-injury-tun-tun-min-raring-go.html/ Myanmar Times] (November 30, 2017)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{commons category-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Tun Tun Min}}
[[Category:1992 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Myanmar]]
[[Category:Muslims]]
[[Category:Martial artists]]</text>
      <sha1>0hd3ggk0fwfkmkiakpzgki3skgk7hih</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154858</id>
      <parentid>3154855</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T11:22:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Lethweimaster</username>
        <id>3065847</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2276" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tun Tun Min at Media conference in Myanmar.png|thumb]]

'''[[w:Tun Tun Min|Tun Tun Min]]''' (born 4 October 1992) is a [[Myanmar|Burmese]] [[w:Lethwei|Lethwei]] fighter and former Openweight Lethwei World Champion. He is the youngest fighter to ever win the [[w:Lethwei#Golden Belt|Golden Belt]], obtaining the title at age 21 and is notable for fighting foreign challengers from outside [[Myanmar]].

{{sport-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* My knee has recovered but I need to do extreme training. I’m trying to get back to my best form, and I beleive in myself.
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/news/back-injury-tun-tun-min-raring-go.html/ Myanmar Times] (November 30, 2017)

* I am very interested in Lethwei since my childhood and know it will help us to escape from poverty.
** As quoted in [https://www.aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/ethnic-muslim-fighter-eyes-myanmar-s-kickboxing-crown/1325639/ ''Ethnic Muslim fighter eyes Myanmar’s kickboxing crown''] (November 30, 2018)

* Some people are racist and rude. I understand if they support my opponents, but it's heartbreaking to hear them shout discriminatory words against me.
** On facing discrimination in Myanmar for belonging to the [[Muslim]] minority.[https://www.aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/ethnic-muslim-fighter-eyes-myanmar-s-kickboxing-crown/1325639/ ''Ethnic Muslim fighter eyes Myanmar’s kickboxing crown''] (November 30, 2018)

* I feel so sad when I face local fighters [...] I don’t want to fight local fighters again. I want to fight foreign fighters and make our traditional Lethwei famous access the world.
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/sports/martial-arts/19492-friendship-before-fights.html/ ''Myanmar Times''] (March 16, 2016)

=== On [[Dave Leduc]] ===
* My immediate target is [[Dave Leduc|Leduc]]. I want to fight him in 2018. Lethwei is Myanmar traditional sport, that is why the champion should be a local fighter. 
** As quoted in [https://www.mmtimes.com/news/back-injury-tun-tun-min-raring-go.html/ Myanmar Times] (November 30, 2017)

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{commons category-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Tun Tun Min}}
[[Category:1992 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from Myanmar]]
[[Category:Muslims]]
[[Category:Martial artists]]</text>
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  <page>
    <title>DC League of Super-Pets</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249773</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154602</id>
      <parentid>3154197</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T17:52:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2601:195:C480:38B0:6558:6032:C178:E6B7</ip>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Lulu */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7967" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], {{w|Kevin Hart}}, {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Update: I’m fast now, but I can’t see (BLEEP).
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me! You piece of ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!
*Oh, you want the truth? The boots are a bit much.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': I was making an inspiring hero speech. ''[Ace continues peeing]'' How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet, too, which is crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Batman''': So, you're a dog. I am the Batman. I'm not really great with animals.
:'''Ace''': Yeah, I'm not really great with people. Probably because of my traumatic puppyhood.
:'''Batman''': As a child, my family was taken from me.
:'''Ace''': As a puppy, I was taken from my family.
:'''Batman''': So I've steeled myself.
:'''Ace''': My emotions, always in check.
:'''Batman and Ace''': No one ever getting past my impenetrable defenses.
:'''Ace''': Ah, what the heck. ''[leaps on Batman and licks him]''

== Cast ==
*[[Dwayne Johnson]] as [[w:Krypto|Krypto / Bark Kent / Superdog]]
*{{w|Kevin Hart}} as [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace / Bat-Hound]]
*{{w|Kate McKinnon}} as Lulu
*{{w|John Krasinski}} as [[Superman|Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman]]
*{{w|Vanessa Bayer}} as PB
*[[Natasha Lyonne]] as [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Merton / Terrific Whatzit]]
*{{w|Diego Luna}} as [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
*{{w|Thomas Middleditch}} as Keith
*{{w|Ben Schwartz}} as Mark
*[[Keanu Reeves]] as [[Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]
*[[Marc Maron]] as [[Lex Luthor]]
*{{w|Olivia Wilde}} as {{w|Lois Lane}}
*[[Jameela Jamil]] as [[Wonder Woman|Diana Prince / Wonder Woman]]
*{{w|Jemaine Clement}} as [[w:Aquaman|Arthur Curry / Aquaman]]
*[[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] as [[The Flash|Barry Allen / The Flash]]
*{{w|Daveed Diggs}} as [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Victor Stone / Cyborg]]
*{{w|Dascha Polanco}} as [[w:Jessica Cruz|Jessica Cruz / Green Lantern]]

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154719</id>
      <parentid>3154602</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T22:25:12Z</timestamp>
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      <text bytes="8119" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson]], [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]], {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Update: I’m fast now, but I can’t see (BLEEP).
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me! You piece of ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!
*Oh, you want the truth? The boots are a bit much.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': I was making an inspiring hero speech. ''[Ace continues peeing]'' How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet, too, which is crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Batman''': So, you're a dog. I am the Batman. I'm not really great with animals.
:'''Ace''': Yeah, I'm not really great with people. Probably because of my traumatic puppyhood.
:'''Batman''': As a child, my family was taken from me.
:'''Ace''': As a puppy, I was taken from my family.
:'''Batman''': So I've steeled myself.
:'''Ace''': My emotions, always in check.
:'''Batman and Ace''': No one ever getting past my impenetrable defenses.
:'''Ace''': Ah, what the heck. ''[leaps on Batman and licks him]''

== Cast ==
* [[Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson]] — [[w:Krypto|Krypto]]
* [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]] — [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace]]
* [[w:Kate McKinnon|Kate McKinnon]] — Lulu
* [[w:John Krasinski|John Krasinski]] — [[w:Superman|Superman]]
* [[w:Vanessa Bayer|Vanessa Bayer]] — P.B.
* [[Natasha Lyonne]] — [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Terrific Whatzit]]
* [[w:Diego Luna|Diego Luna]] — [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
* [[w:Thomas Middleditch|Thomas Middleditch]] — Keith
* [[w:Ben Schwartz|Ben Schwartz]] — Mark
* [[Keanu Reeves]] — [[w:Batman|Batman]]
* [[Marc Maron]] — [[w:Lex Luthor|Luthor]]
* [[w:Olivia Wilde|Olivia Wilde]] — [[w:Lois Lane|Lois]]
* [[Jameela Jamil]] — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* [[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] — [[w:Aquaman|Aquaman]]
* [[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] — [[w:Flash (Barry Allen)|The Flash]]
* [[w:Daveed Diggs|Daveed Diggs]] — [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Cyborg]]
* [[w:Dascha Polanco|Dascha Polanco]] — [[w:Jessica Cruz|The Green Lantern]]
* [[w:Keith David|Keith David]] — Dog-El

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
      <sha1>7vzkbzse02esdugfy0ci892dz42mdik</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154720</id>
      <parentid>3154719</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T22:26:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8145" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson]], [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]], {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== PB ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Update: I’m fast now, but I can’t see (BLEEP).
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me! You piece of ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!
*Oh, you want the truth? The boots are a bit much.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': I was making an inspiring hero speech. ''[Ace continues peeing]'' How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet, too, which is crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Batman''': So, you're a dog. I am the Batman. I'm not really great with animals.
:'''Ace''': Yeah, I'm not really great with people. Probably because of my traumatic puppyhood.
:'''Batman''': As a child, my family was taken from me.
:'''Ace''': As a puppy, I was taken from my family.
:'''Batman''': So I've steeled myself.
:'''Ace''': My emotions, always in check.
:'''Batman and Ace''': No one ever getting past my impenetrable defenses.
:'''Ace''': Ah, what the heck. ''[leaps on Batman and licks him]''

== Cast ==
* [[Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson]] — [[w:Krypto|Krypto]]
* [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]] — [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace]]
* [[w:Kate McKinnon|Kate McKinnon]] — Lulu
* [[w:John Krasinski|John Krasinski]] — [[w:Superman|Superman]]
* [[w:Vanessa Bayer|Vanessa Bayer]] — P.B.
* [[Natasha Lyonne]] — [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Terrific Whatzit]]
* [[w:Diego Luna|Diego Luna]] — [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
* [[w:Thomas Middleditch|Thomas Middleditch]] — Keith
* [[w:Ben Schwartz|Ben Schwartz]] — Mark
* [[Keanu Reeves]] — [[w:Batman|Batman]]
* [[Marc Maron]] — [[w:Lex Luthor|Luthor]]
* [[w:Olivia Wilde|Olivia Wilde]] — [[w:Lois Lane|Lois]]
* [[Jameela Jamil]] — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* [[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] — [[w:Aquaman|Aquaman]]
* [[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] — [[w:Flash (Barry Allen)|The Flash]]
* [[w:Daveed Diggs|Daveed Diggs]] — [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Cyborg]]
* [[w:Dascha Polanco|Dascha Polanco]] — [[w:Jessica Cruz|The Green Lantern]]
* [[w:Keith David|Keith David]] — Dog-El

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
      <sha1>m7v0hr05lmkb23t6b4xdopde5x26pbh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154721</id>
      <parentid>3154720</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T22:26:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <ip>2600:4041:51:9D00:3517:9835:292D:8B60</ip>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8147" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|DC League of Super-Pets}}''''' is an American computer-animated superhero comedy film produced by {{w|Warner Animation Group}} and based on the DC Comics superhero team {{w|Legion of Super-Pets}}. The film stars [[Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson]], [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]], {{w|Kate McKinnon}}, {{w|John Krasinski}}, {{w|Vanessa Bayer}}, [[Natasha Lyonne]], {{w|Diego Luna}}, {{w|Thomas Middleditch}}, {{w|Ben Schwartz}}, and [[Keanu Reeves]].
:''Directed by {{w|Jared Stern}}. Written by Stern and [[w:John Whittington (screenwriter)|John Whittington]].''
{{center|'''All pets have secrets, theirs are super.''' ([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}

== Krypto ==
*Alright, wake up, buddy! It is walk o'clock.
*Pup up and away!
*And I will remain here, posing under my secret identity. ''[puts on his glasses]'' Bark Kent!
*My best friend is in danger and you have to help me!
*Stop right there and cease your unlawful activities.
*This is the biggest menace Metropolis has ever seen.
*Relax. We'll be fine.
*That can't be sanitary.
*Technically, he flies.
*I started this with one best friend to save. And now, I have four more.
*Ace, attack!
*Super-Pets, activate!

== Ace ==
*I should be a lot more dead right now, right?
*We'll help you get your dumb owner back. You've got yourself a super team.
*You ain't normal, man.
*So it begins.
*That's cold, man.
*I'm a wild animal.
*Oh, you think you're so great, don't you, Superdog?
*We're just a bunch of shelter pets. But they're stronger than you think.
*Smell is the sight of the nose.
*You literally worship the ground that dude walks on.
*You know what they say about dogs? ''['''Krypto''': Never feed us chocolate.]'' We love unconditionally.

== P.B. ==
*Still working out the kinks. I didn't see anything.
*Don't you want to be adopted and feel the warm embrace of a middle-aged man who lives alone?
*Oh my gosh, Wonder Woman has, like, right where I'm sitting. And there's a peanut wedged in the crack of the seat. And now, I'm eating her peanut.

== Merton ==
*Where the heck am I?
*You win this round, lettuce.
*''[to a Garfield window clinger]'' What's happening, handsome?
*None of you are turtles! This explains so much!
*Update: I’m fast now, but I can’t see (BLEEP).
*Ring, ring! Hello, who's there? The League of Super-Pets!

== Chip ==
*Great. I'm the only one who didn't get any superpow— ''[lighting shoots out of his paws]''
*You're super strong! And your tail is now made of fire!
*We're never fine!
*You can do this, Chip.

== Lulu ==
*Superman, I am Lulu, daughter of Cinnamon, and you will kneel before me! You piece of ''[squeaking]''
*A hamster is a hacky sack. A hamster is a mouse that had too much for lunch. We are guinea pigs. And when we're through with you, buster, you'll know it!
*Oh, you want the truth? The boots are a bit much.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Krypto''': What is new with you, fellow normal dog?
:'''Corgi''': I bit the {{w|FedEx}} guy the other day.
:'''Krypto''': Who was he working for? {{w|General Zod}}? [[w:Legion of Doom|The Legion of Doom]]?
:'''Corgi''': FedEx.
:'''Krypto''': Of course! The Federation of Exes. Not to be trusted.
:'''Corgi''': ''[turns away]'' What is taking my owner so long?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[As Ace escapes the animal shelter, he runs into Krypto]''
:'''Ace''': Man, that hurt.
:'''Krypto''': Yes. And that hurt me as well, due to the fact that I feel pain as any ordinary canine would.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Ace''': You wanna throw paws? Then fine. But I should warn you, I'm one-eighth boxer!
:'''Krypto''': ''[places his paw on Ace's face]'' And seven-eighths chihuahua.
:'''Ace''': Chihuahuas are vicious!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': When one has an abundance of power, they have a certain duty to use that power to— ''[gets interrupted by Ace who is peeing]''
:'''Ace''': Sorry. You were saying something?
:'''Krypto''': I was making an inspiring hero speech. ''[Ace continues peeing]'' How much did you have to drink?
:'''Ace''': I had two toilet bowls and a bidet. A bidet, too, which is crazy. I didn't even know that was a thing, but it's like a dog water fountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': This just seems gross.
:'''Ace''': What do you mean gross? Smelling stuff is one of the greatest joys of being a dog, next to licking any part of your body. I mean, I lick myself all the time.
:'''Krypto''': Well, that explains the breath.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Krypto''': Ace, deploy canine shield.
:'''Ace''': What is a canine…?
:''[Krypto shoves him off the building as they fall towards the guinea pigs. Mark breathes fire at them]''
:'''Krypto''': Evade!
:''[They jump off of Ace as he is engulfed by the flames. Krypto, PB, Chip and Merton land on the ground safely as Ace lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Krypto''': Excellent shielding! That seemed incredibly painful.
:'''Ace''': ''[groans]'' Anybody want to switch powers?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Batman''': So, you're a dog. I am the Batman. I'm not really great with animals.
:'''Ace''': Yeah, I'm not really great with people. Probably because of my traumatic puppyhood.
:'''Batman''': As a child, my family was taken from me.
:'''Ace''': As a puppy, I was taken from my family.
:'''Batman''': So I've steeled myself.
:'''Ace''': My emotions, always in check.
:'''Batman and Ace''': No one ever getting past my impenetrable defenses.
:'''Ace''': Ah, what the heck. ''[leaps on Batman and licks him]''

== Cast ==
* [[Dwayne Johnson|Dwayne &quot;The Rock&quot; Johnson]] — [[w:Krypto|Krypto]]
* [[w:Kevin Hart|Kevin Hart]] — [[w:Ace the Bat-Hound|Ace]]
* [[w:Kate McKinnon|Kate McKinnon]] — Lulu
* [[w:John Krasinski|John Krasinski]] — [[w:Superman|Superman]]
* [[w:Vanessa Bayer|Vanessa Bayer]] — P.B.
* [[Natasha Lyonne]] — [[w:Terrific Whatzit|Terrific Whatzit]]
* [[w:Diego Luna|Diego Luna]] — [[w:Ch'p|Chip]]
* [[w:Thomas Middleditch|Thomas Middleditch]] — Keith
* [[w:Ben Schwartz|Ben Schwartz]] — Mark
* [[Keanu Reeves]] — [[w:Batman|Batman]]
* [[Marc Maron]] — [[w:Lex Luthor|Luthor]]
* [[w:Olivia Wilde|Olivia Wilde]] — [[w:Lois Lane|Lois]]
* [[Jameela Jamil]] — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* [[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]] — [[w:Aquaman|Aquaman]]
* [[w:John Early (comedian)|John Early]] — [[w:Flash (Barry Allen)|The Flash]]
* [[w:Daveed Diggs|Daveed Diggs]] — [[w:Cyborg (DC Comics)|Cyborg]]
* [[w:Dascha Polanco|Dascha Polanco]] — [[w:Jessica Cruz|The Green Lantern]]
* [[w:Keith David|Keith David]] — Dog-El

==Taglines==
*Sit, stay, save the world.
*Just because they're super, doesn't mean they're heroes.
*All pets have secrets, theirs are super.
*They call him Bark Kent. (Krypto)
*He doesn't take sit from anyone. (Ace)
*The next pig thing. (PB)
*Shell yeah. (Merton)
*Fighting crime can get nuts. (Chip)
*Squeak of nature. (Lulu)
*Tall, Clark, and handsome. (Superman)
*Smooth criminal. (Lex Luthor)
*Ready to glow. (Green Lantern)
*Bring a towel. (Aquaman)
*The Bruce is loose. (Batman)
*Life in the fast lane. (Lois Lane)
*Out of your league. (Wonder Woman)
*Keep up. (The Flash)
*He's had some work done. (Cyborg)

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=8912936|title=DC League of Super-Pets}}

[[Category:2022 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:Theatrically released animated superhero films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated films about pigs]]
[[Category:Films about turtles]]
[[Category:Animated films about squirrels]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films based on DC Comics]]
[[Category:Animated Superman films]]
[[Category:Animated Batman films]]
[[Category:Animated Wonder Woman films]]
[[Category:Animated Flash (comics) films]]
[[Category:Animated Green Lantern films]]
[[Category:Animated Justice League films]]</text>
      <sha1>ibzmy0ea2ojuf959ny4gwy21ala66kz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Sandman (TV series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>249936</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154842</id>
      <parentid>3153046</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:32:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] */  add more quotes</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16714" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Thesandman-logo.svg|thumb|I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.]]
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Sandman (TV series)|The Sandman]]''''' is an American fantasy drama television series based on [[w:The Sandman (comic book)|the 1989–1996 comic book]] written by [[Neil Gaiman]] and published by DC Comics. The series was developed by Gaiman, [[w:David S. Goyer|David S. Goyer]], and [[w:Allan Heinberg|Allan Heinberg]] for the streaming service Netflix, and is produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television.
: See also:
:: [[The Sandman (comic book)|'''''The Sandman''''' (comic book)]]

== Morpheus ==

* '''We begin in the waking world … which humanity insists on calling the real world; as if your dreams have no effect upon the choices you make.''' &lt;br /&gt; You mortals go about your work, your loves, your wars, as if your waking lives are ''all'' that matter. &lt;br /&gt; But there is another life which awaits you when you close your eyes — and enter my realm. &lt;br /&gt; For '''I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.''' &lt;br /&gt; When the waking world leaves you wanting and weary, sleep brings you here to find freedom and adventure. To face your fears and fantasies in Dreams and Nightmares that I create; and which I must control, lest they consume and destroy you. &lt;br /&gt; That is my purpose and my function. &lt;br /&gt; Or it was, until I left my kingdom to pursue a rogue Nightmare.

* I was powerless, trapped by a spell cast by an amateur with no concern for the damage he had done to my realm and to his own.&lt;!-- For the following morning, there were some sleepers who could not wake up. --&gt;

* Day after day, he pleaded for gifts that are not mankind's to receive nor mine to give. So I remained silent.

* I will not have Dreams and Nightmares preying on the waking world. I will bring them all back. I made this realm once, Lucienne. I will make it again.

== Sleep of the Just [1.1] ==

:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are coming back, aren't you?
:'''Morpheus''': Why would I not return, Lucienne?
:'''Lucienne''': I don't know, a presentiment. As powerful as you are here in your realm, Dreams rarely survive in the waking world. Nightmares, on the other hand, seem to thrive there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Corinthian (comics)|Corinthian]]''': There are benefits to keeping one of [[w:Endless (comics)|The Endless]] close.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': The Endless?
:'''Corinthian''': Did you think Death was the only one in charge? The Reaper has family, you know. Desire, Destiny, Despair.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': Which one have I got then?
:'''Corinthian''': Dream.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': What's the good of a god who governs dreams?
:'''Corinthian''': Not a god. More than a god. And are men not governed by their dreams?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Alex Burgess''': It's… it's ''you''. You're… you're free.
:'''Morpheus''': I am. &lt;br /&gt; And do you have any idea what it was like? Confined in a cage for over a century?  &lt;br /&gt; Do you understand the damage you've done to your world?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''':  You're home, my Lord.
:'''Morpheus''': I am.
:'''Lucienne''': Forgive me, sir, but … the realm, the palace they are not as you left them.
:'''Morpheus''': What happened here? Who did this?
:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are The Dreaming, The Dreaming is you. With you gone as long as you were, the realm began to decay and crumble.

== Imperfect Hosts [1.2] ==

:'''Lucienne''': I kept a journal for a while. A chronicle of everything that happened in your absence. But slowly, the words began to fade. Sometime after you left, all the books in the library became bound volumes of blank paper. The next day, the whole library was gone. I never found it again.
:'''Morpheus''': And yet you remained while others fled, the royal librarian of an abandoned kingdom.
:'''Lucienne''': I never felt abandoned. I knew you would return.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''': You need rest, my Lord. And food and perhaps a bit more rest, and then you'll be back at full strength.
:'''Morpheus''': No. Not without my tools. 
:'''Lucienne''': Your tools?
:'''Morpheus''': My sand, my helm, my ruby. 
:'''Lucienne''': Why? What happened to them?
:'''Morpheus''': They were taken from me. By my captors. And then taken from them I know not where. Nor what I am without them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Corinthian''': Do you remember the being Roderick Burgess kept caged in his basement? Hmm? King of Dreams?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': You're one of his? 
:'''Corinthian''': I'm my own man now. With your help, I intend to stay that way.
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why do you need my help?
:'''Corinthian''': Because he's out of his cage and he's coming for us. You and me. 
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why me? I never did anything to him.
:'''Corinthian''': Oh, you did though, Ethel. You stole from him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Ethel Cripps''': When I left Roderick, I traded the sand and the helm for my life in America. 
:'''Corinthian''': And the ruby?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': The ruby … As you know, it does have the power to make dreams come true. But it also makes nightmares come true. My son, John, took the ruby from me and then the ruby took John.

== Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] ==

:'''Johanna Constantine''': What are you doing here, Hettie?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Same as you, I expect. He's coming, isn't he?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Who?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Yeah, well, you know who. Morpheus. The Oneiromancer. You know — ''the Sandman'' — he's back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': &quot;The Sandman&quot;? The one who puts the kids to sleep? He's a fairy story, Hettie.
:'''Mad Hettie''': He's no fairy story, missy. He's back, and he wants his sand. 
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Good to know. I'm off to work.
:'''Mad Hettie''': You'll see. I know. I'm 280 years old, and I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Agilieth''': You … talk too much.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Tell me your name and I'll stop.
:'''Agilieth''': Why would I do that? When there are far more enjoyable ways to make you stop.
:'''Morpheus''': ''[entering the scene of the exorcism]'': His name is Agilieth.
:'''Agilieth''': I'm flattered you remember me, Lord Morpheus, after all your time away.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Lord Morpheus?
:'''Agilieth''': He is. Though, I confess, I almost didn't recognize you without your helm. I wonder where your helm could be.
:'''Morpheus''': I presume it is in Hell, with the demon to whom it was traded.
:'''Agilieth''': Yes, but which demon?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Johanna Constantine''': My gran used to tell me stories about you lot.
:'''Morpheus''': I've known your family for centuries.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Then you know there's not one of us that can be trusted. What do you want with me?
:'''Morpheus''': Something of mine came into your possession. A leather pouch filled with sand. I need it back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Oh, that was yours? Bought it at an estate sale. Didn't even manage to get the drawstrings open.
:'''Morpheus''':Where is it?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': No idea. Could be anywhere.
:'''Morpheus''': We must find it.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Must we? Why is that?
:'''Morpheus''': Because without it, my realm will cease to exist, and if dreams disappear, then so will humanity.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Matthew''': Where are we going?
:'''Morpheus''': [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': ''Hell''. As in ''Hell''-Hell? Or were you being metaphorical?

== A Hope in Hell [1.4] ==

:'''Morpheus''': It has many names. [[w:Avernus|Avernus]], [[w:Tartarus|Tartarus]], [[w:Hades|Hades]], the infernal region you call [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': So, Hell does exist?
:'''Morpheus''': It does. For some.
:'''Matthew''': Does that mean it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it? 
:'''Morpheus''': Did you believe in it? When you were a man?
:'''Matthew''': Yeah. I just didn't expect Hell to be cold.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|John Dee]]''': I think lying is maybe the worst thing you can do to another person. I'm living proof of that.
:'''Rosemary''': I'm sure your mom loved you and was proud of you.
:'''John Dee''': She did forgive me in the end.
:'''Rosemary''': For what?
:'''John Dee''': Stealing from her.
:'''Rosemary''': What did you steal?
:'''John Dee''': A ruby. Unlike no other. Like nothing you've ever seen. She had me arrested, of course. And thrown in prison.
:'''Rosemary''': For stealing the ruby?
:'''John Dee''': And arson. And murder. General mayhem. Among other things. You see, the problem with having this ruby was that everyone was always trying to take it from me. And so, I just did what I had to do.
:'''Rosemary''': You ''murdered'' people?
:'''John Dee''': They weren't good people. Not like you and Susie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The landscape is subject to the whims of the Morningstar.
:'''Matthew''': The ''morning'' star? We have to spend the night in this literally godforsaken —
:'''Morpheus''': [[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|''Lucifer'' Morningstar]].
:'''Matthew''': As in the Devil?
:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is no mere devil.
:'''Matthew''': So, you two know each other?
:'''Morpheus''': We've known each other for a very long time.
:'''Morpheus''': When we first met, Lucifer was the angel [[w:Samael|Samael]].
:'''Matthew''': I forgot the Devil used to be an angel.
:'''Morpheus''': Not just any angel. The most beautiful, wisest, and most powerful of all angels. Saving only the Creator, Lucifer is, perhaps, the most powerful being there is.
:'''Matthew''': More powerful than you?
:'''Morpheus''': By far. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Nada''': Dream Lord? It is you.
:'''Morpheus''': I greet you, Nada.
:'''Nada''': Kai'ckul. How I have prayed for this day. I knew you would come.
:'''Morpheus''': It pains me to see you like this.
:'''Nada''': Then, free me, Lord. Only your forgiveness can free me. Do you not still love me?
:'''Morpheus''': It has been 10,000 years, Nada. Yes. I still love you. But I have not yet forgiven you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''John Dee''': I admit that in the past I may have done some things that are morally …  ambiguous. But it taught me about human nature and the secret of real understanding and compassion. Do you want to know what it is?
:'''Rosemary''': I do.
:'''John Dee''': This is going to sound rather odd, but the secret to having compassion for people is knowing that they are fundamentally selfish. And I say this without judgement. It's how human beings are built. It's how we're made. But if you know that going in, if you understand that we are operating out of the biological congenital selfishness, then life begins to make a lot more sense. Are you all right?
:'''Rosemary''': Uh, sorry. The phone slipped. You were saying?
:'''John Dee''': I …  I was saying, knowing that people are selfish sets you free from having to take their actions, their lies, personally. People lie because they're selfish. They lie because they are human.
:'''Rosemary''': They lie because they're scared. People will say anything. Do anything to keep from being hurt. That's what I think, anyway.
:'''John Dee''': You're very good, Rosemary.
:'''Rosemary''': I don't know what you mean.
:'''John Dee''': I mean I experience people as basically selfish and you experience them as afraid. Which they are, we all are. You're absolutely right. And good. Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|Lucifer Morningstar]]''': Hello, Dream.
:'''Morpheus''': Greetings to you, Lucifer Morningstar. And to you, Mazikeen of the Lillim.
:'''Mazikeen''': Greetings, Dream Lord.
:'''Lucifer''': You look well, Dream. Are you well? And your family, Destiny, Death, Despair, and the others?
:'''Morpheus''': I presume the Ruler of Hell knows this is no social call.
:'''Lucifer''': Have you come to join forces then? To ally your realm to ours? To acknowledge the sovereignty of Hell?
:'''Morpheus''': You know my feelings on that, Lightbringer.
:'''Lucifer''': Feelings change. Especially when one has been caught and imprisoned by mortals. We expected better of you, sweet Morpheus.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucifer''': I am … a dire wolf. ''Prey-stalking, lethal prowler.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a serpent. ''Horse-biting, poison-toothed.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a bird of prey. Snake-devouring, talons ripping.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a butcher bacterium. ''Warm-life destroying.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a world. Space-floating, life-nurturing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a nova. All-exploding, planet-cremating. 
:'''Morpheus''': I am a universe. ''All things encompassing, all life embracing.''
:'''Lucifer''': I am anti-life.''The Beast of Judgement. The dark at the end of everything.'' What will you be then, Dream Lord?
:'''Morpheus''': ''[fallen to the floor, dying]'' I …  I …  I …  
:'''Matthew''': Boss? Hey, boss!
:'''Lucifer''': Still with us, Dream?
:'''Matthew''': He is — and it's his move … Your Majesty.
:'''Lucifer''': ''There are no more moves.'' What can survive the anti-life? 
:'''Matthew''': Hey, boss. Listen to me. You know what can survive the anti-life? ''You.'' — ''Dreams don't fucking die.'' — Not if you believe in them, and I believe Dream of the Endless would never leave his raven here, alone, in Hell with Lucifer.
:'''Morpheus''': I …  am … [[Hope]]. ''[rises, and stands]'' 
:'''Lucifer''': Hope.
:'''Morpheus''': Well, Lightbringer? It's your move. What is it that kills hope?
:'''Lucifer''': ''[despairing]'' Choronzon, give him his helm.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is honorable, indeed. I will not forget this.
:'''Lucifer''': Honorable? You joke, surely. Look out there, Morpheus. The billion Lords of Hell stand arrayed about you. Tell us. Why should we let you leave? Helmet or no, you have no power here. After all … What power have dreams in Hell? 
:'''Morpheus''': You say I have no power here. Perhaps you speak truly. But to say dreams have no power in Hell …  Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream …  of Heaven? 
:'''Lucifer''': One day, Morpheus … we shall destroy you.
&lt;!-- :'''Morpheus''': Until that day, Lightbringer. ''[Leaves]'' --&gt; 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:'''John Dee''': What are you still doing here?
:'''Rosemary''': I know I'm gonna regret this but … Do you need a ride somewhere?
:'''John Dee''': Do you really want me to get back into that truck? The truth. No lies. 
:'''Rosemary''': I wanna go home.
:'''John Dee''': You're a good person, Rosemary. Unfortunately, good people seldom survive in this world.
:'''Rosemary''': Just don't hurt Susie, please. I don't care what happens to me but …  
:'''John Dee''': ''[holds up his amulet of protection] Here. Take it. Wear it. From now on, no one will be able to hurt you. Not even me. There's no need to be afraid or tell a lie ever again.
:'''Rosemary''': Don't you need it?
:'''John Dee''': No. I have my ruby. …  The ruby makes dreams come true. … ''And I'm going to use it to save the world.'' 

== 24 &amp; 7 [1.5] ==

:'''Bette''': Best seat in the house. How are you doing today?
:'''John Dee''': How am I doing? … Well … I'm feeling better than I have for quite some time. Thank you.
:'''Bette''': Mmm. I could use some of that. What's your secret?
:'''John Dee''': Shall I tell you the truth?
:'''Bette''': Well, honesty is the best policy.
:'''John Dee''': That's what they say, isn't it? Well, I hope it's true. This … ''[rolds up Dream's Ruby]'' is my secret.
:'''Bette''': It's gorgeous.
:'''John Dee''': It makes dreams come true.
:'''Bette''': I bet it does. And what are you dreaming about? New house? New job?
:'''John Dee''': A new world. A more honest one.
:'''Bette''':  That is the dream, isn't it? Well, can I get you a cup of coffee while we wait for our dream to come true?
:'''John Dee''': Please. But we won't be waiting for long.
:'''Bette''': Then I better hurry up and get you that coffee.
&lt;!-- 
== The Sound of Her Wings [1.6] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== The Dolls House [1.7] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Playing House [1.8] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Collectors [1.9] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Lost Hearts [1.10] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 --&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/81150303 Official site at Netflix]
* [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1751634/ San∂man at IMDb]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sandman (TV Series), The}} 
[[Category:2020s American drama TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American horror TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American mystery TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American supernatural TV shows]]
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[[Category:Netflix shows]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154843</id>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-15T08:57:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* 24 &amp; 7 [1.5] */</comment>
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      <text bytes="16714" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Thesandman-logo.svg|thumb|I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.]]
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Sandman (TV series)|The Sandman]]''''' is an American fantasy drama television series based on [[w:The Sandman (comic book)|the 1989–1996 comic book]] written by [[Neil Gaiman]] and published by DC Comics. The series was developed by Gaiman, [[w:David S. Goyer|David S. Goyer]], and [[w:Allan Heinberg|Allan Heinberg]] for the streaming service Netflix, and is produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television.
: See also:
:: [[The Sandman (comic book)|'''''The Sandman''''' (comic book)]]

== Morpheus ==

* '''We begin in the waking world … which humanity insists on calling the real world; as if your dreams have no effect upon the choices you make.''' &lt;br /&gt; You mortals go about your work, your loves, your wars, as if your waking lives are ''all'' that matter. &lt;br /&gt; But there is another life which awaits you when you close your eyes — and enter my realm. &lt;br /&gt; For '''I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.''' &lt;br /&gt; When the waking world leaves you wanting and weary, sleep brings you here to find freedom and adventure. To face your fears and fantasies in Dreams and Nightmares that I create; and which I must control, lest they consume and destroy you. &lt;br /&gt; That is my purpose and my function. &lt;br /&gt; Or it was, until I left my kingdom to pursue a rogue Nightmare.

* I was powerless, trapped by a spell cast by an amateur with no concern for the damage he had done to my realm and to his own.&lt;!-- For the following morning, there were some sleepers who could not wake up. --&gt;

* Day after day, he pleaded for gifts that are not mankind's to receive nor mine to give. So I remained silent.

* I will not have Dreams and Nightmares preying on the waking world. I will bring them all back. I made this realm once, Lucienne. I will make it again.

== Sleep of the Just [1.1] ==

:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are coming back, aren't you?
:'''Morpheus''': Why would I not return, Lucienne?
:'''Lucienne''': I don't know, a presentiment. As powerful as you are here in your realm, Dreams rarely survive in the waking world. Nightmares, on the other hand, seem to thrive there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Corinthian (comics)|Corinthian]]''': There are benefits to keeping one of [[w:Endless (comics)|The Endless]] close.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': The Endless?
:'''Corinthian''': Did you think Death was the only one in charge? The Reaper has family, you know. Desire, Destiny, Despair.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': Which one have I got then?
:'''Corinthian''': Dream.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': What's the good of a god who governs dreams?
:'''Corinthian''': Not a god. More than a god. And are men not governed by their dreams?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Alex Burgess''': It's… it's ''you''. You're… you're free.
:'''Morpheus''': I am. &lt;br /&gt; And do you have any idea what it was like? Confined in a cage for over a century?  &lt;br /&gt; Do you understand the damage you've done to your world?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''':  You're home, my Lord.
:'''Morpheus''': I am.
:'''Lucienne''': Forgive me, sir, but … the realm, the palace they are not as you left them.
:'''Morpheus''': What happened here? Who did this?
:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are The Dreaming, The Dreaming is you. With you gone as long as you were, the realm began to decay and crumble.

== Imperfect Hosts [1.2] ==

:'''Lucienne''': I kept a journal for a while. A chronicle of everything that happened in your absence. But slowly, the words began to fade. Sometime after you left, all the books in the library became bound volumes of blank paper. The next day, the whole library was gone. I never found it again.
:'''Morpheus''': And yet you remained while others fled, the royal librarian of an abandoned kingdom.
:'''Lucienne''': I never felt abandoned. I knew you would return.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''': You need rest, my Lord. And food and perhaps a bit more rest, and then you'll be back at full strength.
:'''Morpheus''': No. Not without my tools. 
:'''Lucienne''': Your tools?
:'''Morpheus''': My sand, my helm, my ruby. 
:'''Lucienne''': Why? What happened to them?
:'''Morpheus''': They were taken from me. By my captors. And then taken from them I know not where. Nor what I am without them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Corinthian''': Do you remember the being Roderick Burgess kept caged in his basement? Hmm? King of Dreams?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': You're one of his? 
:'''Corinthian''': I'm my own man now. With your help, I intend to stay that way.
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why do you need my help?
:'''Corinthian''': Because he's out of his cage and he's coming for us. You and me. 
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why me? I never did anything to him.
:'''Corinthian''': Oh, you did though, Ethel. You stole from him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Ethel Cripps''': When I left Roderick, I traded the sand and the helm for my life in America. 
:'''Corinthian''': And the ruby?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': The ruby … As you know, it does have the power to make dreams come true. But it also makes nightmares come true. My son, John, took the ruby from me and then the ruby took John.

== Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] ==

:'''Johanna Constantine''': What are you doing here, Hettie?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Same as you, I expect. He's coming, isn't he?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Who?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Yeah, well, you know who. Morpheus. The Oneiromancer. You know — ''the Sandman'' — he's back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': &quot;The Sandman&quot;? The one who puts the kids to sleep? He's a fairy story, Hettie.
:'''Mad Hettie''': He's no fairy story, missy. He's back, and he wants his sand. 
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Good to know. I'm off to work.
:'''Mad Hettie''': You'll see. I know. I'm 280 years old, and I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Agilieth''': You … talk too much.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Tell me your name and I'll stop.
:'''Agilieth''': Why would I do that? When there are far more enjoyable ways to make you stop.
:'''Morpheus''': ''[entering the scene of the exorcism]'': His name is Agilieth.
:'''Agilieth''': I'm flattered you remember me, Lord Morpheus, after all your time away.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Lord Morpheus?
:'''Agilieth''': He is. Though, I confess, I almost didn't recognize you without your helm. I wonder where your helm could be.
:'''Morpheus''': I presume it is in Hell, with the demon to whom it was traded.
:'''Agilieth''': Yes, but which demon?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Johanna Constantine''': My gran used to tell me stories about you lot.
:'''Morpheus''': I've known your family for centuries.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Then you know there's not one of us that can be trusted. What do you want with me?
:'''Morpheus''': Something of mine came into your possession. A leather pouch filled with sand. I need it back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Oh, that was yours? Bought it at an estate sale. Didn't even manage to get the drawstrings open.
:'''Morpheus''':Where is it?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': No idea. Could be anywhere.
:'''Morpheus''': We must find it.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Must we? Why is that?
:'''Morpheus''': Because without it, my realm will cease to exist, and if dreams disappear, then so will humanity.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Matthew''': Where are we going?
:'''Morpheus''': [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': ''Hell''. As in ''Hell''-Hell? Or were you being metaphorical?

== A Hope in Hell [1.4] ==

:'''Morpheus''': It has many names. [[w:Avernus|Avernus]], [[w:Tartarus|Tartarus]], [[w:Hades|Hades]], the infernal region you call [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': So, Hell does exist?
:'''Morpheus''': It does. For some.
:'''Matthew''': Does that mean it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it? 
:'''Morpheus''': Did you believe in it? When you were a man?
:'''Matthew''': Yeah. I just didn't expect Hell to be cold.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|John Dee]]''': I think lying is maybe the worst thing you can do to another person. I'm living proof of that.
:'''Rosemary''': I'm sure your mom loved you and was proud of you.
:'''John Dee''': She did forgive me in the end.
:'''Rosemary''': For what?
:'''John Dee''': Stealing from her.
:'''Rosemary''': What did you steal?
:'''John Dee''': A ruby. Unlike no other. Like nothing you've ever seen. She had me arrested, of course. And thrown in prison.
:'''Rosemary''': For stealing the ruby?
:'''John Dee''': And arson. And murder. General mayhem. Among other things. You see, the problem with having this ruby was that everyone was always trying to take it from me. And so, I just did what I had to do.
:'''Rosemary''': You ''murdered'' people?
:'''John Dee''': They weren't good people. Not like you and Susie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The landscape is subject to the whims of the Morningstar.
:'''Matthew''': The ''morning'' star? We have to spend the night in this literally godforsaken —
:'''Morpheus''': [[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|''Lucifer'' Morningstar]].
:'''Matthew''': As in the Devil?
:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is no mere devil.
:'''Matthew''': So, you two know each other?
:'''Morpheus''': We've known each other for a very long time.
:'''Morpheus''': When we first met, Lucifer was the angel [[w:Samael|Samael]].
:'''Matthew''': I forgot the Devil used to be an angel.
:'''Morpheus''': Not just any angel. The most beautiful, wisest, and most powerful of all angels. Saving only the Creator, Lucifer is, perhaps, the most powerful being there is.
:'''Matthew''': More powerful than you?
:'''Morpheus''': By far. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Nada''': Dream Lord? It is you.
:'''Morpheus''': I greet you, Nada.
:'''Nada''': Kai'ckul. How I have prayed for this day. I knew you would come.
:'''Morpheus''': It pains me to see you like this.
:'''Nada''': Then, free me, Lord. Only your forgiveness can free me. Do you not still love me?
:'''Morpheus''': It has been 10,000 years, Nada. Yes. I still love you. But I have not yet forgiven you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''John Dee''': I admit that in the past I may have done some things that are morally …  ambiguous. But it taught me about human nature and the secret of real understanding and compassion. Do you want to know what it is?
:'''Rosemary''': I do.
:'''John Dee''': This is going to sound rather odd, but the secret to having compassion for people is knowing that they are fundamentally selfish. And I say this without judgement. It's how human beings are built. It's how we're made. But if you know that going in, if you understand that we are operating out of the biological congenital selfishness, then life begins to make a lot more sense. Are you all right?
:'''Rosemary''': Uh, sorry. The phone slipped. You were saying?
:'''John Dee''': I …  I was saying, knowing that people are selfish sets you free from having to take their actions, their lies, personally. People lie because they're selfish. They lie because they are human.
:'''Rosemary''': They lie because they're scared. People will say anything. Do anything to keep from being hurt. That's what I think, anyway.
:'''John Dee''': You're very good, Rosemary.
:'''Rosemary''': I don't know what you mean.
:'''John Dee''': I mean I experience people as basically selfish and you experience them as afraid. Which they are, we all are. You're absolutely right. And good. Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|Lucifer Morningstar]]''': Hello, Dream.
:'''Morpheus''': Greetings to you, Lucifer Morningstar. And to you, Mazikeen of the Lillim.
:'''Mazikeen''': Greetings, Dream Lord.
:'''Lucifer''': You look well, Dream. Are you well? And your family, Destiny, Death, Despair, and the others?
:'''Morpheus''': I presume the Ruler of Hell knows this is no social call.
:'''Lucifer''': Have you come to join forces then? To ally your realm to ours? To acknowledge the sovereignty of Hell?
:'''Morpheus''': You know my feelings on that, Lightbringer.
:'''Lucifer''': Feelings change. Especially when one has been caught and imprisoned by mortals. We expected better of you, sweet Morpheus.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucifer''': I am … a dire wolf. ''Prey-stalking, lethal prowler.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a serpent. ''Horse-biting, poison-toothed.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a bird of prey. Snake-devouring, talons ripping.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a butcher bacterium. ''Warm-life destroying.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a world. Space-floating, life-nurturing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a nova. All-exploding, planet-cremating. 
:'''Morpheus''': I am a universe. ''All things encompassing, all life embracing.''
:'''Lucifer''': I am anti-life.''The Beast of Judgement. The dark at the end of everything.'' What will you be then, Dream Lord?
:'''Morpheus''': ''[fallen to the floor, dying]'' I …  I …  I …  
:'''Matthew''': Boss? Hey, boss!
:'''Lucifer''': Still with us, Dream?
:'''Matthew''': He is — and it's his move … Your Majesty.
:'''Lucifer''': ''There are no more moves.'' What can survive the anti-life? 
:'''Matthew''': Hey, boss. Listen to me. You know what can survive the anti-life? ''You.'' — ''Dreams don't fucking die.'' — Not if you believe in them, and I believe Dream of the Endless would never leave his raven here, alone, in Hell with Lucifer.
:'''Morpheus''': I …  am … [[Hope]]. ''[rises, and stands]'' 
:'''Lucifer''': Hope.
:'''Morpheus''': Well, Lightbringer? It's your move. What is it that kills hope?
:'''Lucifer''': ''[despairing]'' Choronzon, give him his helm.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is honorable, indeed. I will not forget this.
:'''Lucifer''': Honorable? You joke, surely. Look out there, Morpheus. The billion Lords of Hell stand arrayed about you. Tell us. Why should we let you leave? Helmet or no, you have no power here. After all … What power have dreams in Hell? 
:'''Morpheus''': You say I have no power here. Perhaps you speak truly. But to say dreams have no power in Hell …  Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream …  of Heaven? 
:'''Lucifer''': One day, Morpheus … we shall destroy you.
&lt;!-- :'''Morpheus''': Until that day, Lightbringer. ''[Leaves]'' --&gt; 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:'''John Dee''': What are you still doing here?
:'''Rosemary''': I know I'm gonna regret this but … Do you need a ride somewhere?
:'''John Dee''': Do you really want me to get back into that truck? The truth. No lies. 
:'''Rosemary''': I wanna go home.
:'''John Dee''': You're a good person, Rosemary. Unfortunately, good people seldom survive in this world.
:'''Rosemary''': Just don't hurt Susie, please. I don't care what happens to me but …  
:'''John Dee''': ''[holds up his amulet of protection] Here. Take it. Wear it. From now on, no one will be able to hurt you. Not even me. There's no need to be afraid or tell a lie ever again.
:'''Rosemary''': Don't you need it?
:'''John Dee''': No. I have my ruby. …  The ruby makes dreams come true. … ''And I'm going to use it to save the world.'' 

== 24 &amp; 7 [1.5] ==

:'''Bette''': Best seat in the house. How are you doing today?
:'''John Dee''': How am I doing? … Well … I'm feeling better than I have for quite some time. Thank you.
:'''Bette''': Mmm. I could use some of that. What's your secret?
:'''John Dee''': Shall I tell you the truth?
:'''Bette''': Well, honesty is the best policy.
:'''John Dee''': That's what they say, isn't it? Well, I hope it's true. This … ''[holds up Dream's Ruby]'' is my secret.
:'''Bette''': It's gorgeous.
:'''John Dee''': It makes dreams come true.
:'''Bette''': I bet it does. And what are you dreaming about? New house? New job?
:'''John Dee''': A new world. A more honest one.
:'''Bette''':  That is the dream, isn't it? Well, can I get you a cup of coffee while we wait for our dream to come true?
:'''John Dee''': Please. But we won't be waiting for long.
:'''Bette''': Then I better hurry up and get you that coffee.
&lt;!-- 
== The Sound of Her Wings [1.6] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== The Dolls House [1.7] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Playing House [1.8] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Collectors [1.9] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Lost Hearts [1.10] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 --&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/81150303 Official site at Netflix]
* [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1751634/ San∂man at IMDb]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sandman (TV Series), The}} 
[[Category:2020s American drama TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American horror TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American mystery TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American supernatural TV shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]</text>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154845</id>
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        <id>71</id>
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      <minor />
      <comment>/* A Hope in Hell [1.4] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="16715" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Thesandman-logo.svg|thumb|I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.]]
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Sandman (TV series)|The Sandman]]''''' is an American fantasy drama television series based on [[w:The Sandman (comic book)|the 1989–1996 comic book]] written by [[Neil Gaiman]] and published by DC Comics. The series was developed by Gaiman, [[w:David S. Goyer|David S. Goyer]], and [[w:Allan Heinberg|Allan Heinberg]] for the streaming service Netflix, and is produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television.
: See also:
:: [[The Sandman (comic book)|'''''The Sandman''''' (comic book)]]

== Morpheus ==

* '''We begin in the waking world … which humanity insists on calling the real world; as if your dreams have no effect upon the choices you make.''' &lt;br /&gt; You mortals go about your work, your loves, your wars, as if your waking lives are ''all'' that matter. &lt;br /&gt; But there is another life which awaits you when you close your eyes — and enter my realm. &lt;br /&gt; For '''I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.''' &lt;br /&gt; When the waking world leaves you wanting and weary, sleep brings you here to find freedom and adventure. To face your fears and fantasies in Dreams and Nightmares that I create; and which I must control, lest they consume and destroy you. &lt;br /&gt; That is my purpose and my function. &lt;br /&gt; Or it was, until I left my kingdom to pursue a rogue Nightmare.

* I was powerless, trapped by a spell cast by an amateur with no concern for the damage he had done to my realm and to his own.&lt;!-- For the following morning, there were some sleepers who could not wake up. --&gt;

* Day after day, he pleaded for gifts that are not mankind's to receive nor mine to give. So I remained silent.

* I will not have Dreams and Nightmares preying on the waking world. I will bring them all back. I made this realm once, Lucienne. I will make it again.

== Sleep of the Just [1.1] ==

:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are coming back, aren't you?
:'''Morpheus''': Why would I not return, Lucienne?
:'''Lucienne''': I don't know, a presentiment. As powerful as you are here in your realm, Dreams rarely survive in the waking world. Nightmares, on the other hand, seem to thrive there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Corinthian (comics)|Corinthian]]''': There are benefits to keeping one of [[w:Endless (comics)|The Endless]] close.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': The Endless?
:'''Corinthian''': Did you think Death was the only one in charge? The Reaper has family, you know. Desire, Destiny, Despair.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': Which one have I got then?
:'''Corinthian''': Dream.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': What's the good of a god who governs dreams?
:'''Corinthian''': Not a god. More than a god. And are men not governed by their dreams?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Alex Burgess''': It's… it's ''you''. You're… you're free.
:'''Morpheus''': I am. &lt;br /&gt; And do you have any idea what it was like? Confined in a cage for over a century?  &lt;br /&gt; Do you understand the damage you've done to your world?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''':  You're home, my Lord.
:'''Morpheus''': I am.
:'''Lucienne''': Forgive me, sir, but … the realm, the palace they are not as you left them.
:'''Morpheus''': What happened here? Who did this?
:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are The Dreaming, The Dreaming is you. With you gone as long as you were, the realm began to decay and crumble.

== Imperfect Hosts [1.2] ==

:'''Lucienne''': I kept a journal for a while. A chronicle of everything that happened in your absence. But slowly, the words began to fade. Sometime after you left, all the books in the library became bound volumes of blank paper. The next day, the whole library was gone. I never found it again.
:'''Morpheus''': And yet you remained while others fled, the royal librarian of an abandoned kingdom.
:'''Lucienne''': I never felt abandoned. I knew you would return.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''': You need rest, my Lord. And food and perhaps a bit more rest, and then you'll be back at full strength.
:'''Morpheus''': No. Not without my tools. 
:'''Lucienne''': Your tools?
:'''Morpheus''': My sand, my helm, my ruby. 
:'''Lucienne''': Why? What happened to them?
:'''Morpheus''': They were taken from me. By my captors. And then taken from them I know not where. Nor what I am without them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Corinthian''': Do you remember the being Roderick Burgess kept caged in his basement? Hmm? King of Dreams?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': You're one of his? 
:'''Corinthian''': I'm my own man now. With your help, I intend to stay that way.
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why do you need my help?
:'''Corinthian''': Because he's out of his cage and he's coming for us. You and me. 
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why me? I never did anything to him.
:'''Corinthian''': Oh, you did though, Ethel. You stole from him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Ethel Cripps''': When I left Roderick, I traded the sand and the helm for my life in America. 
:'''Corinthian''': And the ruby?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': The ruby … As you know, it does have the power to make dreams come true. But it also makes nightmares come true. My son, John, took the ruby from me and then the ruby took John.

== Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] ==

:'''Johanna Constantine''': What are you doing here, Hettie?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Same as you, I expect. He's coming, isn't he?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Who?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Yeah, well, you know who. Morpheus. The Oneiromancer. You know — ''the Sandman'' — he's back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': &quot;The Sandman&quot;? The one who puts the kids to sleep? He's a fairy story, Hettie.
:'''Mad Hettie''': He's no fairy story, missy. He's back, and he wants his sand. 
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Good to know. I'm off to work.
:'''Mad Hettie''': You'll see. I know. I'm 280 years old, and I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Agilieth''': You … talk too much.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Tell me your name and I'll stop.
:'''Agilieth''': Why would I do that? When there are far more enjoyable ways to make you stop.
:'''Morpheus''': ''[entering the scene of the exorcism]'': His name is Agilieth.
:'''Agilieth''': I'm flattered you remember me, Lord Morpheus, after all your time away.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Lord Morpheus?
:'''Agilieth''': He is. Though, I confess, I almost didn't recognize you without your helm. I wonder where your helm could be.
:'''Morpheus''': I presume it is in Hell, with the demon to whom it was traded.
:'''Agilieth''': Yes, but which demon?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Johanna Constantine''': My gran used to tell me stories about you lot.
:'''Morpheus''': I've known your family for centuries.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Then you know there's not one of us that can be trusted. What do you want with me?
:'''Morpheus''': Something of mine came into your possession. A leather pouch filled with sand. I need it back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Oh, that was yours? Bought it at an estate sale. Didn't even manage to get the drawstrings open.
:'''Morpheus''':Where is it?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': No idea. Could be anywhere.
:'''Morpheus''': We must find it.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Must we? Why is that?
:'''Morpheus''': Because without it, my realm will cease to exist, and if dreams disappear, then so will humanity.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Matthew''': Where are we going?
:'''Morpheus''': [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': ''Hell''. As in ''Hell''-Hell? Or were you being metaphorical?

== A Hope in Hell [1.4] ==

:'''Morpheus''': It has many names. [[w:Avernus|Avernus]], [[w:Tartarus|Tartarus]], [[w:Hades|Hades]], the infernal region you call [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': So, Hell does exist?
:'''Morpheus''': It does. For some.
:'''Matthew''': Does that mean it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it? 
:'''Morpheus''': Did you believe in it? When you were a man?
:'''Matthew''': Yeah. I just didn't expect Hell to be cold.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|John Dee]]''': I think lying is maybe the worst thing you can do to another person. I'm living proof of that.
:'''Rosemary''': I'm sure your mom loved you and was proud of you.
:'''John Dee''': She did forgive me in the end.
:'''Rosemary''': For what?
:'''John Dee''': Stealing from her.
:'''Rosemary''': What did you steal?
:'''John Dee''': A ruby. Unlike no other. Like nothing you've ever seen. She had me arrested, of course. And thrown in prison.
:'''Rosemary''': For stealing the ruby?
:'''John Dee''': And arson. And murder. General mayhem. Among other things. You see, the problem with having this ruby was that everyone was always trying to take it from me. And so, I just did what I had to do.
:'''Rosemary''': You ''murdered'' people?
:'''John Dee''': They weren't good people. Not like you and Susie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The landscape is subject to the whims of the Morningstar.
:'''Matthew''': The ''morning'' star? We have to spend the night in this literally godforsaken —
:'''Morpheus''': [[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|''Lucifer'' Morningstar]].
:'''Matthew''': As in the Devil?
:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is no mere devil.
:'''Matthew''': So, you two know each other?
:'''Morpheus''': We've known each other for a very long time.
:'''Morpheus''': When we first met, Lucifer was the angel [[w:Samael|Samael]].
:'''Matthew''': I forgot the Devil used to be an angel.
:'''Morpheus''': Not just any angel. The most beautiful, wisest, and most powerful of all angels. Saving only the Creator, Lucifer is, perhaps, the most powerful being there is.
:'''Matthew''': More powerful than you?
:'''Morpheus''': By far. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Nada''': Dream Lord? It is you.
:'''Morpheus''': I greet you, Nada.
:'''Nada''': Kai'ckul. How I have prayed for this day. I knew you would come.
:'''Morpheus''': It pains me to see you like this.
:'''Nada''': Then, free me, Lord. Only your forgiveness can free me. Do you not still love me?
:'''Morpheus''': It has been 10,000 years, Nada. Yes. I still love you. But I have not yet forgiven you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''John Dee''': I admit that in the past I may have done some things that are morally …  ambiguous. But it taught me about human nature and the secret of real understanding and compassion. Do you want to know what it is?
:'''Rosemary''': I do.
:'''John Dee''': This is going to sound rather odd, but the secret to having compassion for people is knowing that they are fundamentally selfish. And I say this without judgement. It's how human beings are built. It's how we're made. But if you know that going in, if you understand that we are operating out of the biological congenital selfishness, then life begins to make a lot more sense. Are you all right?
:'''Rosemary''': Uh, sorry. The phone slipped. You were saying?
:'''John Dee''': I …  I was saying, knowing that people are selfish sets you free from having to take their actions, their lies, personally. People lie because they're selfish. They lie because they are human.
:'''Rosemary''': They lie because they're scared. People will say anything. Do anything to keep from being hurt. That's what I think, anyway.
:'''John Dee''': You're very good, Rosemary.
:'''Rosemary''': I don't know what you mean.
:'''John Dee''': I mean I experience people as basically selfish and you experience them as afraid. Which they are, we all are. You're absolutely right. And good. Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|Lucifer Morningstar]]''': Hello, Dream.
:'''Morpheus''': Greetings to you, Lucifer Morningstar. And to you, Mazikeen of the Lillim.
:'''Mazikeen''': Greetings, Dream Lord.
:'''Lucifer''': You look well, Dream. Are you well? And your family, Destiny, Death, Despair, and the others?
:'''Morpheus''': I presume the Ruler of Hell knows this is no social call.
:'''Lucifer''': Have you come to join forces then? To ally your realm to ours? To acknowledge the sovereignty of Hell?
:'''Morpheus''': You know my feelings on that, Lightbringer.
:'''Lucifer''': Feelings change. Especially when one has been caught and imprisoned by mortals. We expected better of you, sweet Morpheus.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucifer''': I am … a dire wolf. ''Prey-stalking, lethal prowler.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a serpent. ''Horse-biting, poison-toothed.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a bird of prey. Snake-devouring, talons ripping.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a butcher bacterium. ''Warm-life destroying.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a world. Space-floating, life-nurturing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a nova. All-exploding, planet-cremating. 
:'''Morpheus''': I am a universe. ''All things encompassing, all life embracing.''
:'''Lucifer''': I am anti-life.''The Beast of Judgement. The dark at the end of everything.'' What will you be then, Dream Lord?
:'''Morpheus''': ''[fallen to the floor, dying]'' I …  I …  I …  
:'''Matthew''': Boss? Hey, boss!
:'''Lucifer''': Still with us, Dream?
:'''Matthew''': He is — and it's his move … Your Majesty.
:'''Lucifer''': ''There are no more moves.'' What can survive the anti-life? 
:'''Matthew''': Hey, boss. Listen to me. You know what can survive the anti-life? ''You.'' — ''Dreams don't fucking die.'' — Not if you believe in them, and I believe Dream of the Endless would never leave his raven here, alone, in Hell with Lucifer.
:'''Morpheus''': I …  am … [[Hope]]. ''[rises, and stands]'' 
:'''Lucifer''': Hope.
:'''Morpheus''': Well, Lightbringer? It's your move. What is it that kills hope?
:'''Lucifer''': ''[despairing]'' Choronzon, give him his helm.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is honorable, indeed. I will not forget this.
:'''Lucifer''': Honorable? You joke, surely. Look out there, Morpheus. The billion Lords of Hell stand arrayed about you. Tell us. Why should we let you leave? Helmet or no, you have no power here. After all … What power have dreams in Hell? 
:'''Morpheus''': You say I have no power here. Perhaps you speak truly. But to say dreams have no power in Hell …  Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream …  of Heaven? 
:'''Lucifer''': One day, Morpheus … we shall destroy you.
&lt;!-- :'''Morpheus''': Until that day, Lightbringer. ''[Leaves]'' --&gt; 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:'''John Dee''': What are you still doing here?
:'''Rosemary''': I know I'm gonna regret this but … Do you need a ride somewhere?
:'''John Dee''': Do you really want me to get back into that truck? The truth. No lies. 
:'''Rosemary''': I wanna go home.
:'''John Dee''': You're a good person, Rosemary. Unfortunately, good people seldom survive in this world.
:'''Rosemary''': Just don't hurt Susie, please. I don't care what happens to me but …  
:'''John Dee''': ''[holds up his amulet of protection]'' Here. Take it. Wear it. From now on, no one will be able to hurt you. Not even me. There's no need to be afraid or tell a lie ever again.
:'''Rosemary''': Don't you need it?
:'''John Dee''': No. I have my ruby. …  The ruby makes dreams come true. … ''And I'm going to use it to save the world.''

== 24 &amp; 7 [1.5] ==

:'''Bette''': Best seat in the house. How are you doing today?
:'''John Dee''': How am I doing? … Well … I'm feeling better than I have for quite some time. Thank you.
:'''Bette''': Mmm. I could use some of that. What's your secret?
:'''John Dee''': Shall I tell you the truth?
:'''Bette''': Well, honesty is the best policy.
:'''John Dee''': That's what they say, isn't it? Well, I hope it's true. This … ''[holds up Dream's Ruby]'' is my secret.
:'''Bette''': It's gorgeous.
:'''John Dee''': It makes dreams come true.
:'''Bette''': I bet it does. And what are you dreaming about? New house? New job?
:'''John Dee''': A new world. A more honest one.
:'''Bette''':  That is the dream, isn't it? Well, can I get you a cup of coffee while we wait for our dream to come true?
:'''John Dee''': Please. But we won't be waiting for long.
:'''Bette''': Then I better hurry up and get you that coffee.
&lt;!-- 
== The Sound of Her Wings [1.6] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== The Dolls House [1.7] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Playing House [1.8] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Collectors [1.9] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Lost Hearts [1.10] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 --&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/81150303 Official site at Netflix]
* [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1751634/ San∂man at IMDb]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sandman (TV Series), The}} 
[[Category:2020s American drama TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American horror TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American mystery TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American supernatural TV shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]</text>
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    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154848</id>
      <parentid>3154845</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T09:48:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16735" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Thesandman-logo.svg|thumb|I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.]]
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Sandman (TV series)|The Sandman]]''''' is an American fantasy drama television series based on [[w:The Sandman (comic book)|the 1989–1996 comic book]] written by [[Neil Gaiman]] and published by DC Comics. The series was developed by Gaiman, [[w:David S. Goyer|David S. Goyer]], and [[w:Allan Heinberg|Allan Heinberg]] for the streaming service Netflix, and is produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television.
: See also:
:: [[The Sandman (comic book)|'''''The Sandman''''' (comic book)]]

== Morpheus ==

* '''We begin in the waking world … which humanity insists on calling the real world; as if your dreams have no effect upon the choices you make.''' &lt;br /&gt; You mortals go about your work, your loves, your wars, as if your waking lives are ''all'' that matter. &lt;br /&gt; But there is another life which awaits you when you close your eyes — and enter my realm. &lt;br /&gt; For '''I am the King of Dreams … and Nightmares.''' &lt;br /&gt; When the waking world leaves you wanting and weary, sleep brings you here to find freedom and adventure. To face your fears and fantasies in Dreams and Nightmares that I create; and which I must control, lest they consume and destroy you. &lt;br /&gt; That is my purpose and my function. &lt;br /&gt; Or it was, until I left my kingdom to pursue a rogue Nightmare.

* I was powerless, trapped by a spell cast by an amateur with no concern for the damage he had done to my realm and to his own.&lt;!-- For the following morning, there were some sleepers who could not wake up. --&gt;

* Day after day, he pleaded for gifts that are not mankind's to receive nor mine to give. So I remained silent.

* I will not have Dreams and Nightmares preying on the waking world. I will bring them all back. I made this realm once, Lucienne. I will make it again.

== Sleep of the Just [1.1] ==

:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are coming back, aren't you?
:'''Morpheus''': Why would I not return, Lucienne?
:'''Lucienne''': I don't know, a presentiment. As powerful as you are here in your realm, Dreams rarely survive in the waking world. Nightmares, on the other hand, seem to thrive there.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Corinthian (comics)|Corinthian]]''': There are benefits to keeping one of [[w:Endless (comics)|The Endless]] close.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': The Endless?
:'''Corinthian''': Did you think Death was the only one in charge? The Reaper has family, you know. Desire, Destiny, Despair.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': Which one have I got then?
:'''Corinthian''': Dream.
:'''Roderick Burgess''': What's the good of a god who governs dreams?
:'''Corinthian''': Not a god. More than a god. And are men not governed by their dreams?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Alex Burgess''': It's… it's ''you''. You're… you're free.
:'''Morpheus''': I am. &lt;br /&gt; And do you have any idea what it was like? Confined in a cage for over a century?  &lt;br /&gt; Do you understand the damage you've done to your world?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''':  You're home, my Lord.
:'''Morpheus''': I am.
:'''Lucienne''': Forgive me, sir, but … the realm, the palace they are not as you left them.
:'''Morpheus''': What happened here? Who did this?
:'''Lucienne''': My Lord, you are The Dreaming, The Dreaming is you. With you gone as long as you were, the realm began to decay and crumble.

== Imperfect Hosts [1.2] ==

:'''Lucienne''': I kept a journal for a while. A chronicle of everything that happened in your absence. But slowly, the words began to fade. Sometime after you left, all the books in the library became bound volumes of blank paper. The next day, the whole library was gone. I never found it again.
:'''Morpheus''': And yet you remained while others fled, the royal librarian of an abandoned kingdom.
:'''Lucienne''': I never felt abandoned. I knew you would return.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucienne''': You need rest, my Lord. And food and perhaps a bit more rest, and then you'll be back at full strength.
:'''Morpheus''': No. Not without my tools. 
:'''Lucienne''': Your tools?
:'''Morpheus''': My sand, my helm, my ruby. 
:'''Lucienne''': Why? What happened to them?
:'''Morpheus''': They were taken from me. By my captors. And then taken from them I know not where. Nor what I am without them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Corinthian''': Do you remember the being Roderick Burgess kept caged in his basement? Hmm? King of Dreams?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': You're one of his? 
:'''Corinthian''': I'm my own man now. With your help, I intend to stay that way.
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why do you need my help?
:'''Corinthian''': Because he's out of his cage and he's coming for us. You and me. 
:'''Ethel Cripps''': Why me? I never did anything to him.
:'''Corinthian''': Oh, you did though, Ethel. You stole from him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Ethel Cripps''': When I left Roderick, I traded the sand and the helm for my life in America. 
:'''Corinthian''': And the ruby?
:'''Ethel Cripps''': The ruby … As you know, it does have the power to make dreams come true. But it also makes nightmares come true. My son, John, took the ruby from me and then the ruby took John.

== Dream a Little Dream of Me [1.3] ==

:'''Johanna Constantine''': What are you doing here, Hettie?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Same as you, I expect. He's coming, isn't he?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Who?
:'''Mad Hettie''': Yeah, well, you know who. Morpheus. The Oneiromancer. You know — ''the Sandman'' — he's back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': &quot;The Sandman&quot;? The one who puts the kids to sleep? He's a fairy story, Hettie.
:'''Mad Hettie''': He's no fairy story, missy. He's back, and he wants his sand. 
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Good to know. I'm off to work.
:'''Mad Hettie''': You'll see. I know. I'm 280 years old, and I know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Agilieth''': You … talk too much.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Tell me your name and I'll stop.
:'''Agilieth''': Why would I do that? When there are far more enjoyable ways to make you stop.
:'''Morpheus''': ''[entering the scene of the exorcism]'': His name is Agilieth.
:'''Agilieth''': I'm flattered you remember me, Lord Morpheus, after all your time away.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Lord Morpheus?
:'''Agilieth''': He is. Though, I confess, I almost didn't recognize you without your helm. I wonder where your helm could be.
:'''Morpheus''': I presume it is in Hell, with the demon to whom it was traded.
:'''Agilieth''': Yes, but which demon?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Johanna Constantine''': My gran used to tell me stories about you lot.
:'''Morpheus''': I've known your family for centuries.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Then you know there's not one of us that can be trusted. What do you want with me?
:'''Morpheus''': Something of mine came into your possession. A leather pouch filled with sand. I need it back.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Oh, that was yours? Bought it at an estate sale. Didn't even manage to get the drawstrings open.
:'''Morpheus''':Where is it?
:'''Johanna Constantine''': No idea. Could be anywhere.
:'''Morpheus''': We must find it.
:'''Johanna Constantine''': Must we? Why is that?
:'''Morpheus''': Because without it, my realm will cease to exist, and if dreams disappear, then so will humanity.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Matthew Cable|Matthew]]''': Where are we going?
:'''Morpheus''': [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': ''Hell''. As in ''Hell''-Hell? Or were you being metaphorical?

== A Hope in Hell [1.4] ==

:'''Morpheus''': It has many names. [[w:Avernus|Avernus]], [[w:Tartarus|Tartarus]], [[w:Hades|Hades]], the infernal region you call [[Hell]].
:'''Matthew''': So, Hell does exist?
:'''Morpheus''': It does. For some.
:'''Matthew''': Does that mean it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it? 
:'''Morpheus''': Did you believe in it? When you were a man?
:'''Matthew''': Yeah. I just didn't expect Hell to be cold.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|John Dee]]''': I think lying is maybe the worst thing you can do to another person. I'm living proof of that.
:'''Rosemary''': I'm sure your mom loved you and was proud of you.
:'''John Dee''': She did forgive me in the end.
:'''Rosemary''': For what?
:'''John Dee''': Stealing from her.
:'''Rosemary''': What did you steal?
:'''John Dee''': A ruby. Unlike no other. Like nothing you've ever seen. She had me arrested, of course. And thrown in prison.
:'''Rosemary''': For stealing the ruby?
:'''John Dee''': And arson. And murder. General mayhem. Among other things. You see, the problem with having this ruby was that everyone was always trying to take it from me. And so, I just did what I had to do.
:'''Rosemary''': You ''murdered'' people?
:'''John Dee''': They weren't good people. Not like you and Susie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The landscape is subject to the whims of the Morningstar.
:'''Matthew''': The ''morning'' star? We have to spend the night in this literally godforsaken —
:'''Morpheus''': [[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|''Lucifer'' Morningstar]].
:'''Matthew''': As in the Devil?
:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is no mere devil.
:'''Matthew''': So, you two know each other?
:'''Morpheus''': We've known each other for a very long time.
:'''Morpheus''': When we first met, Lucifer was the angel [[w:Samael|Samael]].
:'''Matthew''': I forgot the Devil used to be an angel.
:'''Morpheus''': Not just any angel. The most beautiful, wisest, and most powerful of all angels. Saving only the Creator, Lucifer is, perhaps, the most powerful being there is.
:'''Matthew''': More powerful than you?
:'''Morpheus''': By far. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Nada''': Dream Lord? It is you.
:'''Morpheus''': I greet you, Nada.
:'''Nada''': Kai'ckul. How I have prayed for this day. I knew you would come.
:'''Morpheus''': It pains me to see you like this.
:'''Nada''': Then, free me, Lord. Only your forgiveness can free me. Do you not still love me?
:'''Morpheus''': It has been 10,000 years, Nada. Yes. I still love you. But I have not yet forgiven you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''John Dee''': I admit that in the past I may have done some things that are morally …  ambiguous. But it taught me about human nature and the secret of real understanding and compassion. Do you want to know what it is?
:'''Rosemary''': I do.
:'''John Dee''': This is going to sound rather odd, but the secret to having compassion for people is knowing that they are fundamentally selfish. And I say this without judgement. It's how human beings are built. It's how we're made. But if you know that going in, if you understand that we are operating out of the biological congenital selfishness, then life begins to make a lot more sense. Are you all right?
:'''Rosemary''': Uh, sorry. The phone slipped. You were saying?
:'''John Dee''': I …  I was saying, knowing that people are selfish sets you free from having to take their actions, their lies, personally. People lie because they're selfish. They lie because they are human.
:'''Rosemary''': They lie because they're scared. People will say anything. Do anything to keep from being hurt. That's what I think, anyway.
:'''John Dee''': You're very good, Rosemary.
:'''Rosemary''': I don't know what you mean.
:'''John Dee''': I mean I experience people as basically selfish and you experience them as afraid. Which they are, we all are. You're absolutely right. And good. Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''[[w:Lucifer (DC Comics)|Lucifer Morningstar]]''': Hello, Dream.
:'''Morpheus''': Greetings to you, Lucifer Morningstar. And to you, Mazikeen of the Lillim.
:'''Mazikeen''': Greetings, Dream Lord.
:'''Lucifer''': You look well, Dream. Are you well? And your family, Destiny, Death, Despair, and the others?
:'''Morpheus''': I presume the Ruler of Hell knows this is no social call.
:'''Lucifer''': Have you come to join forces then? To ally your realm to ours? To acknowledge the sovereignty of Hell?
:'''Morpheus''': You know my feelings on that, Lightbringer.
:'''Lucifer''': Feelings change. Especially when one has been caught and imprisoned by mortals. We expected better of you, sweet Morpheus.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Lucifer''': I am … a dire wolf. ''Prey-stalking, lethal prowler.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a serpent. ''Horse-biting, poison-toothed.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a bird of prey. Snake-devouring, talons ripping.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a butcher bacterium. ''Warm-life destroying.''
:'''Morpheus''': I am a world. Space-floating, life-nurturing.
:'''Lucifer''': I am a nova. All-exploding, planet-cremating. 
:'''Morpheus''': I am a universe. ''All things encompassing, all life embracing.''
:'''Lucifer''': I am anti-life.''The Beast of Judgement. The dark at the end of everything.'' What will you be then, Dream Lord?
:'''Morpheus''': ''[fallen to the floor, dying]'' I …  I …  I …  
:'''Matthew''': Boss? Hey, boss!
:'''Lucifer''': Still with us, Dream?
:'''Matthew''': He is — and it's his move … Your Majesty.
:'''Lucifer''': ''There are no more moves.'' What can survive the anti-life? 
:'''Matthew''': Hey, boss. Listen to me. You know what can survive the anti-life? ''You.'' — ''Dreams don't fucking die.'' — Not if you believe in them, and I believe Dream of the Endless would never leave his raven here, alone, in Hell with Lucifer.
:'''Morpheus''': I …  am … [[Hope]]. ''[rises, and stands]'' 
:'''Lucifer''': Hope.
:'''Morpheus''': Well, Lightbringer? It's your move. What is it that kills hope?
:'''Lucifer''': ''[despairing]'' Choronzon, give him his helm.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Morpheus''': The Ruler of Hell is honorable, indeed. I will not forget this.
:'''Lucifer''': Honorable? You joke, surely. Look out there, Morpheus. The billion Lords of Hell stand arrayed about you. Tell us. Why should we let you leave? Helmet or no, you have no power here. After all … What power have dreams in Hell? 
:'''Morpheus''': You say I have no power here. Perhaps you speak truly. But to say dreams have no power in Hell …  Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream …  of Heaven? 
:'''Lucifer''': One day, Morpheus … we shall destroy you.
&lt;!-- :'''Morpheus''': Until that day, Lightbringer. ''[Leaves]'' --&gt; 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
 
:'''John Dee''': What are you still doing here?
:'''Rosemary''': I know I'm gonna regret this but … Do you need a ride somewhere?
:'''John Dee''': Do you really want me to get back into that truck? The truth. No lies. 
:'''Rosemary''': I wanna go home.
:'''John Dee''': You're a good person, Rosemary. Unfortunately, good people seldom survive in this world.
:'''Rosemary''': Just don't hurt Susie, please. I don't care what happens to me but …  
:'''John Dee''': ''[holds up his amulet of protection]'' Here. Take it. Wear it. From now on, no one will be able to hurt you. Not even me. There's no need to be afraid or tell a lie ever again.
:'''Rosemary''': Don't you need it?
:'''John Dee''': No. I have my ruby. …  The ruby makes dreams come true. … ''And I'm going to use it to save the world.''

== 24 &amp; 7 [1.5] ==

:'''Bette''': Best seat in the house. How are you doing today?
:'''John Dee''': How am I doing? … Well … I'm feeling better than I have for quite some time. Thank you.
:'''Bette''': Mmm. I could use some of that. What's your secret?
:'''John Dee''': Shall I tell you the truth?
:'''Bette''': Well, honesty is the best policy.
:'''John Dee''': That's what they say, isn't it? Well, I hope it's true. This … ''[holds up Dream's Ruby]'' is my secret.
:'''Bette''': It's gorgeous.
:'''John Dee''': It makes dreams come true.
:'''Bette''': I bet it does. And what are you dreaming about? New house? New job?
:'''John Dee''': A new world. A more honest one.
:'''Bette''':  That is the dream, isn't it? Well, can I get you a cup of coffee while we wait for our dream to come true?
:'''John Dee''': Please. But we won't be waiting for long.
:'''Bette''': Then I better hurry up and get you that coffee.
&lt;!-- 
== The Sound of Her Wings [1.6] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== The Dolls House [1.7] ==

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== Playing House [1.8] ==

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== Collectors [1.9] ==

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== Lost Hearts [1.10] ==

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 --&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/81150303 Official site at Netflix]
* [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1751634/ San∂man at IMDb]

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    <title>Correlli Barnett</title>
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      <text bytes="47102" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the trade unions, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointed economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="54917" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointed economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="61263" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointed economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="66968" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever a shaving shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen tat it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at least been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointed economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="66969" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever a shaving shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen tat it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at least been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="66969" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen tat it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at least been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="66968" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen tat it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at last been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shpaed by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="66968" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British trades union is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the trades unions, whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the [[trade union]]s, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the public school-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] public school, with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen tat it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at last been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shaped by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="67073" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British [[Trade unions|trades union]] is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the [[Trade unions|trades unions]], whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the trade unions, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]]-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]], with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen that it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at last been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian ea this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shaped by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="67074" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British [[Trade unions|trades union]] is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the [[Trade unions|trades unions]], whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the trade unions, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]]-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]], with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen that it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at last been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian era this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her seal lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shaped by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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      <text bytes="67073" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Correlli Barnett|Correlli Douglas Barnett]]''' (28 June 1927 – 10 July 2022) was an English [[w:Military history|military historian]], who also wrote works of [[economic history]], particularly on the United Kingdom's post-war &quot;[[w:deindustrialization|industrial decline]]&quot;.

==Quotes==
===1960s===
*The mistake was enshrined in the preamble to the first German [[w:German Naval Laws|Navy Bill of 1900]], by  which the new [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] was to be big enough to constitute a provocation and a worry to the British, but not big enough to defeat the [[w:Royal Navy|Royal Navy]]. The Germans thus drove the British into alliance with their enemies without as a compensation being able to defend German overseas colonies and trade... The basic truth about the High Seas Fleet was that it should never have been built.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 118

*For the British...[[w:Battle of Jutland|Jutland]] has a much deeper significance, for it was in fact a defeat for British technology. More than that, as with the French at [[w:Battle of Crécy|Crécy]] and [[w:Battle of Sedan|Sedan]], a social system had been exposed by battle as decadent and uncreative. Jutland proves that already in 1914, when Britain and her empire had never seemed richer, more powerful, more technologically able, dry rot was crumbling the inner structure of the vast mansion. Jutland proves that the spectacular collapse of British power and British industrial vigour after 1945 was not a sudden disaster due, as comforting legend has it, to the sale of overseas investments in 1914–18 and 1939–45, but the final acute phase of seventy years of decline. For the principal armed service of a country—in its professional attitudes, its equipment, its officer corps—is an extension, a reflection, of that country's whole society, and especially of its dominating groups.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 178

*Two things caused the decadence of British maritime power: the long peaceful supremacy after [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and the capture of the navy by that hierarchy of birth and class that controlled so many of Britain's national institutions. Drawing most of its officers from 1 per cent of the nation, the Royal Navy never tapped that great reservoir of urban middle-class talent that made [[w:Reinhard Scheer|Scheer]]'s fleet so well-educated and so intelligent... The navy reflected social rather than functional values, preoccupation with tradition rather than technology... It was a tragedy for Britain that the aristocracy and gentry had never been cut off from the national life, as had largely happened in France... [T]he social and intellectual values of industrial society never ousted those of the aristocracy. The richer Victorian England became, the more ashamed in a deep sense did she become of the technological origin of those riches. The engineer and the businessman have never been as &quot;respectable&quot; in Britain as in Germany or America... [I]n the world after 1870, when Britain faced the technical challenges of the more complex phase of the industrial revolution and the commercial challenge of foreign competition, the leadership of the country was in the hands of the social group least likely (because of its wealth and privilege) to be aware of the challenges and to respond to them. From 1870 to 1914 Britain was decadent because a decadent ruling social group and decadent (non-functional) values had captured or corrupted the forces of technological and social change.
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), pp. 180-181

*[[World War I|The war]] embraced infinitely complex elements and motives. The most important single one of those elements was the struggle for power in Europe, and the world. Between 1870 and 1914 Britain and France had been stagnant and declining in comparative industrial vigour. They nevertheless owned great territories and enjoyed vast traditional overseas markets. Germany...had been comfortably and steadily taking over the markets before 1914; she would have liked the possessions as well. No wonder France and Britain had been so much in favour of defending the political status quo. Yet, as the endless surges and recessions of power throughout history indicate, a fixed status quo is an absurdity because static. The problem of the world of nation states before 1914 was the eternal problem of continually adjusting political structure so that it always fits and expresses the reality of power. 
**''The Swordbearers: Supreme Command in the First World War'' (1963), p. 360

===1970s===
*The importance of war and military institutions has been generally neglected in British historical writing, whose tone has been set by the [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]] and [[Liberalism|liberal]] emphasis on peaceful constitutional progress. In this liberal view war appears as an aberration, an interruption of a &quot;natural&quot; condition of peace: almost as a form of delinquency unworthy of intellectual attention. The liberal, pacifistic view of history can only be maintained by resolute aversion of the gaze from the facts. For conflict between tribal or social groups and nations constitutes the essential human condition in the absence of a world-state with a monopoly of force. The relations between nation states have always been those of a struggle for advantage and domination, where friendships may indeed burgeon while interests temporarily coincide, but then again languish when those interests diverge. Peace and war in history flow continually in and out of each other, alternative aspects of the single phenomenon of the struggle for power. It is false and unrealistic therefore to divide policy between hard-and-fast categories of &quot;peace&quot; and &quot;war&quot;. Policy may shade all the way from trade and diplomatic rivalry through indirect conflict and limited war to total war; the distinctions are of degree, not of kind
**''Britain and Her Army: Military, Political and Social History of the British Army, 1509–1970'' (1970), p. xvii

*In the eighteenth century the English ruling classes – [[w:Squirearchy|squirearchy]], [[w:Merchant|merchants]], [[aristocracy]] – were men hard of mind and hard of will. Aggressive and acquisitive, they saw foreign policy in terms of concrete interest: markets, natural resources, colonial real estate, navel bases, profits. At the same time they were concerned to preserve the independence and parliamentary institutions of [[England]] in the face of the hostility of European [[w:Absolute monarchy|absolute monarchies]]. [[Liberty]] and interest alike seemed to the [[w:Georgian era|Georgians]] therefore to demand a strategic approach to [[international relations]]. They saw [[w:National power|national power]] as the essential foundation of national independence; commercial wealth as a means to power; and war as among the means to all three. They accepted it as natural and inevitable that nations should be engaged in a ceaseless struggle for survival, prosperity and predominance. Such public opinion as existed in the eighteenth century did not dissent from this world-view. The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]] itself reflected the unsentimental realism of an essentially rural society. [[Patriotism]] coupled with dislike and suspicion of foreigners were perhaps the only emotions that leavened the vigorous English pursuit of their interests; a pursuit softened but hardly impeded by the mutual conveniences and decencies of international custom and good manners.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 20

*[I]n the course of the first half of the nineteenth century a moral revolution was completed in England; a revolution which was in the long term to exercise decisive influence on the shaping and conduct of English foreign policy. It is indeed in the transformation of the British character and outlook by this moral revolution that lies the first cause, from which all else was to spring, of the British plight in 1940. The revolution had begun to gather momentum in the late Georgian age; a peculiarly English manifestation of the [[w:Romanticism|romantic movement]] common to all Western Europe. The essence of romanticism was to value feeling above calculation or judgement. Romanticism exalted sentiment – soon crudened into sentimentality – over sense... For the first time since the doctrinaire seventeenth century a concern for principle had begun to manifest itself in politics by the early part of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]]'s reign, when, for example, the [[w:American Revolutionary War|war against the rebellious American colonies]] was denounced by politicians like [[Edmund Burke|Burke]] as unjust as well as unwise... After 1793 [[Charles James Fox]] attacked the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war with revolutionary France]] as being an attempt to crush a noble experiment in human liberty rather than the parrying of a national danger. [[w:Radicals (UK)|Radicals]] of the day, like [[w:Samuel Whitbread (1764–1815)|Samuel Whitbread]], the brewer MP, were even more passionately moralistic in denouncing English policy and excusing French actions, thereby setting a pattern of emotional response to be followed by the romantic [[w:Left-wing politics|left of politics]] down to the present day.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 21

*As a consequence of this spiritual revolution English policy ceased to be founded solely on the expedient and opportunist pursuit of English interests. International relations were no longer seen as being governed primarily by strategy, but by morality. As [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] put it in 1870: &quot;The greatest triumph of our epoch will be the consecration of the idea of a public law as the fundamental principle of European politics.&quot;
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 24

*For other [[w:Great power|great powers]] did not see the world as one great human society, but – just as the British had done up to the nineteenth century – as an arena where, subject to the mutual convenience of diplomatic custom, [[w:Nation state|nation-states]] – the highest effective form of human society – competed for advantage. They did not believe in a natural harmony among mankind, but in [[w:National interest|national interests]] that might sometimes coincide with the interests of others, sometimes conflict. It followed that they considered that relations between states were governed not by law, nor even by moral principle, but by power and ambition restrained only by prudent calculation and a sense of moderation. War therefore, in their view was not a lamentable breakdown of a natural harmony called peace, but an episode of violence in a perpetual struggle. European powers looked on armed forces not as wicked, but as among the instruments of diplomacy. Indeed, whereas in Britain romantic emotion expressed itself in visions of a world society, in Europe it had given rise to a fervent [[nationalism]]. In the late nineteenth century the world was becoming not less dangerous and [[w:Anarchy (international relations)|anarchical]], but more so. Moralising [[internationalism]], born out of [[liberalism]] by [[w:Evangelicalism|evangelical]] faith, was therefore an unsuitable guide to British policy.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 50

*Moral force, or [[w:Righteous indignation|righteous indignation]], was in fact the only means the British left themselves with which to influence the course of world affairs. For their parsonical belief in the powers of moral reprobation was accompanied by an equally parsonical dislike of &quot;immoral&quot; forms of pressure, such as bribery, threats or force. The British ruling classes deliberately rejected from their thinking the fundamental operating force in international relations – [[w:Power (international relations)|power]]. To take note that power existed, and was the prime mover, was denounced as a cynical and immoral wish to play &quot;[[w:Power politics|power politics]]&quot;. This was about as sensible as denouncing aircraft designers who took note of aerodynamics. To the post-evangelical British, however, power in the relations between States was like the sexual urge in the relations between people: elemental, frightening, and to be denied. It was an era when [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] and [[D. H. Lawrence]] were equally ill-thought of. The British approach to diplomacy was therefore rather like their approach to sex, romantically remote from the distressing biological crudities.
**''The Collapse of British Power'' (1972), p. 242

*Of course I entirely agree...that the British plight consists in a low-wage, low-investment, low-productivity economy. I suggest...that the peculiar structure, history and attitudes of British [[Trade unions|trades union]] is—and has been for a century—largely, although not wholly, responsible for this dismal cycle. You cannot pay high wages unless you have already achieved high productivity. You cannot achieve high productivity unless the workforce is prepared to operate modern machines to the utmost of the machines' capacity. Yet for all the glib talk by trades union leaders about improving productivity, everyone knows that British industry is fettered by demarcations and other [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]] aimed at preserving somebody's &quot;property right&quot; in a particular task. This in turn must affect British industry's attitude to investment; for what, it may well think, is the point of investing vast sums in advanced processes if it is not to be permitted to work them to their full potential. Surely, therefore, the necessary switch to a high-wage economy cannot be achieved in isolation, by the process of &quot;free [[w:Collective bargaining|collective bargaining]]&quot; (ie, extortion of money by menaces or force), but only in step with a parallel switch to high productivity and investment. Are [[w:Hugh Scanlon|Mr Scanlon]]'s members—and other British workers—prepared to match the efficiency, flexibility, cooperativeness and zeal of German workers—or do they really simply want more money for going on as they are?
**Letter to ''The Times'' (1 May 1974), p. 20

*It is noteworthy that neither the [[w:Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party]]'s plans for &quot;reconstructing and regenerating&quot; Britain nor the so-called or alleged &quot;[[w:Social Contract (Britain)|social contract]]&quot; makes provision for reconstructing and regenerating the one British institution which most of all shackles our productive progress and denies us prosperity. I refer of course to the [[Trade unions|trades unions]], whose insistence on over-manning and on rigid demarcations is responsible for the low productivity and want of flexibility of operation in British industry, as was finally and conclusively proved by the experience of the [[w:Three-Day Week|three-day week]]... It might be thought that it was time that the trade unions, who claim so much in terms of power and privilege and yet contribute so little towards the achievement of a British economic miracle, were compulsorily reconstructed too. Such a course is of course politically out of the question. But then it is already clear from the manifestos and the speeches that, over the entire field of policy, what is nationally necessary is still politically impossible. Adjustment to reality being therefore...too painful a cure for us voluntarily to adopt, we shall fool on until there is no more foreign money to be borrowed, but only to be repaid, and catastrophe at last forces adjustment to reality upon us.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (25 September 1974), p. 17

*[T]he Victorian [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]] is one of the keys to our decline, turning out by means of curriculum and the moulding influence of school life alike a governing class ignorant of, and antipathetic towards, science, technology and industry, and which despised the qualities needed for success in a competitive industrialised world as those of the cad and the bounder. I would suggest that it is a matter for concern rather than self-congratulation that the broad strategy of contemporary British state education, from primary school to higher education, perpetuates under new guises the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]], [[w:Edward Thring|Thringian]] and [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a &quot;[[w:Liberal education|liberal education]]&quot;; and that it can be argued that even now we are not sufficiently directing our education towards preparing young people to make their way—and their country's way—in the world.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (30 September 1975), p. 13

*In provoking even the peace-loving and feeble [[w:Henry Addington|Addington]] Cabinet into a unanimous decision for war [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Bonaparte]] had committed the most catastrophic blunder of his entire career. It sprang in the first place from a failure to understand the English character and English institutions, or comprehend England's strength. Since his youthful studies he had regarded her as the modern [[w:Ancient Carthage|Carthage]], a mere nation of traders doomed to destruction at the hands of a martial state like [[France]]. And certainly there was little about English society that accorded with Bonaparte's own ideas as to what constituted a powerful and well-governed state. Vacillating cabinets precariously depended on the hazardous outcome of parliamentary votes. Instead of the central government directing the national life, the national life arranged itself by some mysterious organic process. The nobility and gentry governed the English [[w:Shire|shires]] virtually without reference to [[London]], even controlling the [[w:Militia (Great Britain)|militia]], that important part of the English military system. The new volunteer movement had sprung up spontaneously as private and independent associations of citizens. The legal profession and the universities jealously guarded their independence. The [[w:City of London|City of London]], the world's greatest financial centre, formed yet another self-governing republic. The [[Industrial Revolution]], already well under way in England but not yet to begin in Europe, owed everything to personal initiative and nothing to State direction or encouragement. All in all, English society consisted of innumerable co-existing private clubs. The apparent anarchy of the English scene found supreme expression in a [[Freedom of the press|free press]] which hounded politicians, the nobility and even the royal family with cruel lampoons. How could such a cloud of human atoms, such a nation of usurers lacking even a great army, contended against Bonaparte's own logical, efficient military state directed by a single mind of genius?
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*Yet although Bonaparte could not perceive it, those atoms were held together by a principle – love of liberty; the right to arrange your own affairs in association with your fellows without being told what to do by a government and its bureaucrats. He could not begin to comprehend that through such free association and debate Englishmen might arrive at a union far more resilient than the brittle artificial unanimity he had imposed on France; at a truly national purpose in contrast to the mere acquiescence of the French people in his own designs. He failed as well to note the dynamism of a country where initiative and decision flourished everywhere in the soil of liberty instead of being the monopoly of one man at the top like himself. And despite his fulminations about English gold buying allies to fight against France, he no less underestimated the strategic importance of England's resources as the world's most powerful industrial and trading nation.
**''Bonaparte'' (1978), p. 94

*With regard to [[w:Anthony Blunt|Blunt]], we should remember that the 1920s and 1930s marked a high tide of romantic idealism, or high-minded priggishness, among the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]]-educated British élite. Common-room [[Communism]] was not the only form of mandarin prize-assery to flourish; there were the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]], the [[w:Peace Pledge Union|Peace Pledge Union]], the [[w:Anglo-German Fellowship|Anglo-German Group]] and Anglo-German &quot;[[w:The Link (UK organization)|Link]]&quot;, and numerous other groups or ad-hoc committees devoted to various &quot;good causes&quot;. There was &quot;[[w:Bloomsbury Group|Bloomsbury]]&quot;; [[E. M. Forster]] as the grand guru of intellectual wetness. A web of personal relationships and inter-connecting memberships linked the different sects into what may fairly be described as &quot;[[w:The Establishment|the Establishment]]&quot;. Blunt and co, having pushed romantic idealism to the point of treachery, simply take the cigar as the prizest, or most misguided, asses of them all.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (23 November 1979), p. 13

===1980s===
*[G]iven that we are today a country that would be as bankrupt as [[w:British Steel (1967–1999)|British Steel]] if it were not for the lucky strike of [[w:North Sea oil|North Sea oil]], and that our [[w:Gross national income|gross national product]] is only half [[w:West Germany|West Germany]]'s, the attempt to maintain &quot;balanced&quot; forces plus a nuclear deterrent constitutes an exercise in nostalgic unrealism. We are like an impoverished aristocratic family who, by petty economies, struggles to go on living in the gradually decaying ancestral mansion rather than live comfortable within their means in a bungalow. Thirty-five years after the Second World War it really is time that we faced the reality of our true status as a nation and adopted a defence policy appropriate to it.
**Letter to ''The Times'' (22 December 1980), p. 13

*Does not Mr [[E. P. Thompson]] see any connexion between the internal nature of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet empire]] as an oligarchic tyranny and its external policies? As a former [[Communism|communist]] he must know that the Soviet regime is of its very nature and from earliest origins a minority conspiracy that has gained and maintained power by force and trickery; that because of this inherent nature it always has been and remains terrified of independent centres of thought or power, whether within the Russian empire or beyond its present reach. It is the conjunction of such a regime, and its manifested wish to dominate others, with armed forces powerful beyond the needs of mere defence that is the engine of the present &quot;armaments race&quot;. Who believes that [[NATO|Nato]] and its armaments would exist if Russia had been a Western-style open society for these last 60 years? The first requirement for large-scale nuclear or any other kind of disarmament is the withering away of the [[w:Communist Party of the Soviet Union|Communist Party of the Soviet Union]].
**Letter to ''The Times'' (8 August 1981), p. 13

*Industrialisation in Britain had been a &quot;bottom-upwards&quot; grass-roots transformation brought about by the initiative of the individual &quot;practical man&quot;, and without benefit of state guidance or intervention. This was in accordance with British political and commercial attitudes already deeply ingrained by the time that the [[Industrial Revolution]] got under way. For the British had come to prize [[individualism]] and localism, as against a strong and effective state, which they saw as the essential feature of the European despotisms they feared and hated... This traditional British dislike of the state was sharpened and given fresh doctrinal justification during the Industrial Revolution by the ''[[laissez-faire]]'' political economists, ''laissez-faire'' becoming, by 1850, a universal article of political faith. Even with regard to education, all must be left to private enterprise or private charity. In any case, it was thought, state intervention in education could lead towards tyranny. A national education system devised and directed by the state was therefore unthinkable.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 672-673

*The approach of European countries to industrialisation and the role of education was different from Britain's from the start, and it sprang from a fundamentally different concept of the role of the state itself. Even in the pre- or post-industrial area of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, European monarchies had regarded it as their function to promote commercial and industrial progress by interventionist measures, including the setting up of training schools for particular crafts and professions. With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, it became entirely natural for European governments to follow their older traditions and seek to guide and foster their countries' industrialisation. In particular they saw that the state alone could bring about a structure of national education at all levels which would feed industry with well-educated and trained personnel.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), pp. 673-674

*The European states, and above all [[w:German Empire|Germany]] (newly [[w:Unification of Germany|united]] in 1871), therefore entered the [[w:Second Industrial Revolution|second Industrial Revolution]], that of science-based industries like chemicals and electrical goods, very well equipped by education, training, and research systems to take the lead. Britain, on the other hand, could only deploy a sorry militia of the ignorant led by the &quot;practical man&quot;. Not merely did Britain lack a modern educational and research structure, it lacked the necessary national understanding and will to create one. Here then is the leitmotiv in British education for the next sixty years: the painful effort against the very grain of national prejudices to remedy what was already by 1870 a half-century of backlog.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 675

*[L]ate-Victorian [[w:Oxbridge|Oxbridge]] positively harmed the prospects of the British economy by completing the work of the [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public schools]] in turning out a governing élite imbued with [[John Henry Newman|Newmanian]] ideals of a [[w:Liberal education|liberal education]] in humanistic culture; an élite which both generally and in particular cases...neglected or even hamstrung developments in [[w:Vocational education|technical education]].
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 680

*In 1890 there were still twice as many academic chemists in Germany as in Britain, though the British population was three-quarters of the German figure. In 1892 Britain had 287 academic staff in mathematics, science, and engineering compared with 452 in Germany. In engineering in particular the major German technical high schools had 7,130 students in 1901 against a total of 1,443 in British universities. In terms of overall university provision, Britain spent £26,000 in governments grants in 1897, while Germany spent £476,000; in 1902 Germany had 22 universities for a population of 50 million, England and Wales 7 for 31 million.&lt;br&gt;And...British industry still lagged badly in advanced industries like chemicals, electricals, and machine tools, and even in basics like steel—partly because of a continuing lack of trained personnel at all levels (the &quot;practical man&quot; still failing to recruit enough of them). Britain's annual rate of growth in the years 1880–1900 averaged 1.7 per cent against Germany's 5.3 per cent and America's 4.5 per cent. Britain's own rate of growth in industrial production was also declining—from 33 per cent in the decade of the 1860s to 24 per cent in the 1890s and 9 per cent in the 1900s.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 681

*The [[w:Education Act 1902|1902 Act]] led to a major expansion in secondary education, so that by 1914 there were 1,123 such schools, of which 500 were directly run by the local authorities while the remainder was denominational. Unfortunately, the prestige of a &quot;grammar school&quot; education, itself derived from the [[Thomas Arnold|Arnoldian]] [[w:Public school (United Kingdom)|public school]], with its emphasis on the academic approach to both the arts and science, impressed itself on parents, local authorities, and the Board of Education alike, so excluding a system of alternative secondary education of equal standing, like the German ''[[w:Realschule|Realschule]]'', more related to Britain's existence as a commercial and technical power.
**'Long-Term Industrial Performance in the UK: The Role of Education and Research, 1850–1939', in Derek Morris (ed.), ''The Economic System in the UK: Third Edition'' (1985), p. 683

*It is impossible to exaggerate the long-term consequences, social and psychological, of the experiences of the new industrial workforce in the raw factory settlements of the late Georgian and early Victorian England under conditions of ferocious competition and unbridled exploitation. It was in that era, when men, women and children were flooding into these settlements from the countryside and exchanging the slow, natural rhythms of the land or self-employed crafts (however hard that life might have been) for the harsh mechanical discipline and the pace and clamour of the mill, exchanging the village for the back-to-back terrace, that the British industrial working class, with its peculiar and enduring character as a culture apart, an alienated group often embittered and hostile, was created. It happened that water power and coal and iron largely existed in the bleak, wild landscapes of [[w:Northern England|northern England]], [[w:South Wales|South Wales]] and [[w:Scottish Lowlands|lowland Scotland]] – regions hitherto lacking the numerous population and rich civilisation of the south; indeed regions traditionally turbulent and remote from the government of the Crown since the middle ages. Rare it was for the new factory settlements to cluster round an established city, as later would German industries develop round [[w:Leipzig|Leipzig]] and [[Dresden]], [[w:Düsseldorf|Düsseldorf]] and [[Cologne]]: instead villages like [[w:Manchester|Manchester]], [[w:Birmingham|Birmingham]], [[w:Leeds|Leeds]], [[w:Huddersfield|Huddersfield]], [[w:Bradford|Bradford]], [[w:Halifax|Halifax]], [[w:Middlesbrough|Middlesbrough]] proliferated into vast brick-built industrial camps; nothing but mean dwellings, drink-shops and &quot;works&quot;.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 188

*Except in rare cases such as [[Robert Owen]]'s paternalistic management at [[w:New Lanark|New Lanark]], the brutality of indoctrination into the life of a [[w:Coolie|coolie]] in a vast camp for coolies, performing coolie work in service to machines, was unsoftened by positive care and control by the state. Not until the great uprooting and resettlement had been largely completed did Parliament belatedly begin to mitigate the squalor, chaos and exploitation by reforms in local government and public health, and by regulating working conditions by successive [[w:Factory Acts|Factory Acts]]... This was the environment, then, which moulded the character of the new British working class: a home life in a mean brick hovel without piped water in an unpaved street with open drains, much like the townships in which the [[w:Bantu peoples of South Africa|Bantu]] coolies of South Africa still live today; a working life at the mercy of a &quot;practical-man&quot; master who believed that the profitability of his business depended on low wages and long hours. It was, after all, from the study of the ''British'' working class that [[Karl Marx|Marx]] and [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] principally derived their conception of the [[w:Marx's theory of alienation|alienated]] proletariat.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), p. 189

*[W]hereas American workers during the industrialisation of the [[United States]] after 1850 never accepted they were permanent members of a coolie class, but believed instead that, true to the [[w:American Dream|American myth]], they were merely passing through on their way to prosperous middle-class status, British &quot;coolies&quot; came to accept that working-class they were, and working-class they and their children would always remain; and proud of it. In [[w:Richard Hoggart|Hoggart]]'s judgement in 1957, &quot;Most working-class people are not climbing; they do not quarrel with their general level; they only want the little more that allows a few frills.&quot; In fact it was an aspect of their conformism that social ambition was positively discouraged as &quot;giving y'self airs&quot;, quite apart from an individual's fear anyway of becoming isolated from social roots and family. It is apparent that none of these lasting characteristics, beliefs and attitudes of the British urban working class make for maximum industrial productivity or for maximum speed in adapting to new technologies; indeed the very opposite. Was it not the boss's factory, the boss's product, the boss's market and the boss's profit; and in the boss's interest to bring in new machines? Did not the boss exact – or try to exact – the most work for the least wage? It followed that the worker's only connection with the productive process was to fight the boss as best he could through [[trade union]]s or through simple [[w:Slacker|skiving]], in order to do as little for as much money as possible; or to protect his job or craft by [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]]. So deeply ingrained in the worker was this sense that the productive process, let alone success in the market, was no responsibility of his that it determined his actions even in the midst of the Second World War.
**''The Audit of War: The Illusion and Reality of Britain as a Great Nation'' (1986; 2001), pp. 190-191

*If therefore you look at Britain as an industrial society around 1944–5 in all its aspects, including education, it is clear that what was needed was fundamental reform and reconstruction; massive capital investment in rebuilding and re-equipping; a huge expansion of education and training at all levels. In a word, an &quot;economic miracle&quot; such as Germany and other European states, Japan too, actually carried out in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Yet no such &quot;economic miracle&quot; ever took place in Britain—even though she was to receive a third more [[w:Marshall Aid|Marshall Aid]] than West Germany, for instance: 2.7 billion dollars to 1.7 billion. It never took place because of fundamental policy decisions taken by the wartime coalition government in 1943–5, and to which postwar governments broadly adhered for some three decades.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 787

*Britain came out of the Second World War as an obsolescent industrial economy with grievous weaknesses. Instead of first devoting all possible resources and effort to remedying this, she chose to load this economy with the vast and potentially limitless cost of the welfare state; current expenditure before capital investment; the patterns of the next thirty years.
**'The Audit of War: Britain as an Industrial Society 1939–45', ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 134, No. 5364 (November 1986), p. 788

===1990s===
*It must be left to [[w:Andrew Cunningham, 1st Viscount Cunningham of Hyndhope|Cunningham]] himself to sum up the success of &quot;Operation Judgment&quot;: &quot;[[w:Battle of Taranto|Taranto]], and the night of November 11th–12th, 1940, should be remembered for ever as having shown once and for all that in the [[w:Fleet Air Arm|Fleet Air Arm]] the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] has its most devastating weapon. In a total flying time of about six and a half hours – carrier to carrier – twenty aircraft had inflicted more damage upon the Italian fleet than was inflicted upon the German [[w:High Seas Fleet|High Seas Fleet]] in the daylight action at the [[w:Battle of Jutland|Battle of Jutland]]&quot;. Taranto indeed marked the dethronement of the [[w:Battleship|battleship]] as the arbiter of seapower after four centuries, and the opening of a new era of naval warfare.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 249

*How then was the [[w:Admiralty (United Kingdom)|Admiralty]] to find a fleet for [[w:Singapore Naval Base|Singapore]], as had been repeatedly promised (though with waning conviction) to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]] before and since the outbreak of war with Germany and Italy? It went far deeper than a mere question of naval strategy and deployment. As [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Sir Samuel Hoare]], the then [[w:First Lord of the Admiralty|First Lord of the Admiralty]], had remarked to the [[w:1937 Imperial Conference|1937 Imperial Conference]], &quot;the very existence of the [[w:Commonwealth of Nations|British Commonwealth]] as now constituted&quot; rested on the ability of Britain to send a battlefleet to Singapore. But this in turn posed an even more profound question about Britain's very own existence as the centre of this oceanic empire, the immediate practical implications of which were so starkly confronting her leaders in the summer and autumn of 1941. For in retrospect it can be seen that it was an illusion for the British to believe that the Commonwealth and the [[British Empire|Empire]] made Britain a great world power. Rather the strategic and economic balance sheet in 1941 demonstrates that the Commonwealth and Empire (with the notable exception of Canada and perhaps South Africa) were not an asset, but a net drain on Britain's strength; a predicament. For the imperial pink splashed across the map of the world in British atlases did not represent strength, as the British romantically believed, but one of the most outstanding examples of strategic overstretch in history.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 382

*In late January 1941...formal staff conversations were held in Washington at which the British delegation pressed again the key importance (as they saw it) of Singapore, and urged that America should base there a strong a detachment of her Pacific Fleet (including battleships) as possible. An American battlefleet to Singapore! It was a solution to the imperial dilemma that would have astonished and dismayed [[w:David Beatty, 1st Earl Beatty|Beatty]] and [[w:Leo Amery|Amery]]. It marked a tacit acknowledgment that after two decades Britain's imperial bluff had at last been called by events; and that she had reached the point of bankruptcy in terms of world maritime power.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 386

*Britain in particular was again paying the penalty for a hundred years of [[Free trade|Free Trade]] policy. This had rendered her dependent on enormous quantities of imported foodstuffs (to the [[w:Great Depression of British Agriculture|ruin of British agriculture]], only now being once more resuscitated in wartime by emergency measures). Free Trade had also reduced her general economic and industrial self-sufficiency by exposing her home market to massive imports of foreign technology, all of it paid for in peacetime by British exports (now reduced to only a third of the peacetime figure) or by income from foreign investments (now all liquidated). In the Victorian era this national dependence on a high volume of seaborne imports and exports had seemed the formula for unexampled prosperity. Now, in the crisis of a world war, it constituted, as in 1914–18, a strategic vulnerability that menaced the country's very survival.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), pp. 575-576

*A navy is no more than the armour and the weapons-system of seapower. The hull, providing essential buoyancy, is the national wealth. The propulsion is commercial and industrial success, which creates the national wealth. By the end of the Second German War in May 1945 British national wealth, once the greatest in the world, had given way to bankruptcy, with overseas debts exceeding reserves of gold and foreign currency by nearly fifteen times. Whereas in 1870 Britain's foreign trade had nearly equalled that of France, Germany and the United States put together, in 1945 her export trade had collapsed to less than one-third of the 1939 level, and her visible exports could finance no more than one-tenth of her overseas requirements. Worse still, the British industrial machine, once the envied model for the rest of the world, had been revealed by the war to the government, though not to the British people at large, as out-of-date in equipment, methods and attitudes; crippled by poor management and obstructive workforces; and weak in advanced technologies. All this was especially true of shipbuilding.
**''Engage the Enemy More Closely: The Royal Navy in the Second World War'' (1991; 1992), p. 880

*[T]here is in Britain a very strong idealistic lobby which reproduces itself down the generations. Their ideals, their hopes and their morals are of course absolutely impeccable. But the question is the practicality and the consequences. Certain aspects of morality may be sound in themselves but hopelessly inappropriate when made the basis for decision-making in international relations. One has to see the world as it really is, to see the realities of power, the realities of leverage and of course the realities of your own interests.
**Interview with Richard English and Michael Kenny in Cambridge (16 July 1996), quoted in Richard English and Michael Kenny (eds.), ''Rethinking British Decline'' (1999),  p. 43

*[A]s [[Karl Marx|Marx]], [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]], [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] and [[Mao Zedong|Mao]] perceived, the basic concept of war as a continuation of politics by other means can be applied to any form of rivalry between human groups, be they class, racial or ideological. In these contexts &quot;war&quot;, or the use of force to compel an opponent to fulfil one's will, has far broader meanings than a traditional punch-up between nation states or alliances, or the kind of &quot;absolute&quot; or [[w:Total war|&quot;total&quot; war]] which [[Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]] saw as conceptually the purest form and which we have witnessed twice this century. Thus we saw anti-nuclear protesters employ force at military installations in pursuit of the political aim of persuading Western governments into unilateral nuclear disarmament. We saw [[w:Greenpeace|Greenpeace]] employ force against [[w:Shell plc|Shell plc]] over the disposal of the [[w:Brent Spar|Brent Spar]] platform. We saw [[Arthur Scargill]]'s troops attempt by coercion to bring down an elected government, only to be defeated in, quite literally, pitched battles. We may note in these encounters and, for that matter, in the street brawls during the [[w:1998 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]], another fundamental factor that is unlikely to change in the future – the dark well of aggressiveness that lies within human nature and finds release in the pleasurable adrenalin surge that comes from violence, risk and danger. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*It is [[Northern Ireland]] that provides the classic contemporary demonstration of Clausewitzian principles in action. In 1974 the Ulster Protestants rejected [[w:Consociationalism|powersharing]] under the 1973 [[w:Sunningdale Agreement|Sunningdale agreement]] to the point of launching a [[w:Ulster Workers' Council strike|general strike]] which the British army warned the British government it could not handle. The government thereupon abandoned the project. But in 1998 the majority of Unionist political parties and at least half the Unionist electorate have come to accept power-sharing under [[w:Good Friday Agreement|the deal]] brokered by [[w:Mo Mowlam|Mo Mowlam]]. Wherein lies the essential difference between 1973–74 and 1998? It lies in the profound yearning on the island of [[Ireland]] and on the British mainland (including Whitehall and Westminster) for &quot;peace&quot; after the intervening 25 years of unrelenting &quot;war&quot; on the part of the [[w:Provisional Irish Republican Army|IRA]], years of violence of the most extreme kind intended (to quote Clausewitz) &quot;to compel our opponent to fulfil our will&quot;. Thus all the talk of compromise and reconciliation in Northern Ireland is just so much small-l liberal blather disguising the Clausewitzian reality that by their &quot;continuation of politics by other means&quot; the IRA have indeed compelled their opponents to fulfil their will. 
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*That Clausewitz lives, and will live, is equally shown in such cases as the former [[Yugoslavia]], where [[NATO|Nato]] has simply frozen a war which will certainly break out again if and when the intervention forces leave; or [[w:Israeli–Palestinian conflict|Israel–Palestine]], where the political relations between Jew and Arab reflect the military outcome of past wars, where the conflict of interest is essentially irreconcilable, and where therefore policy and violence will continue to go hand in hand.&lt;br&gt;What may therefore be safely predicted is that over the next 170 years the world will continue to be an arena of complex rivalries and direct collisions of interest rather than a &quot;world order&quot; or a &quot;world community&quot;, and that human groups engaged in such rivalries will from time to time resort to force as an instrument of their politics. What weapons will be then available, and what tactics will consequently be employed, only a fool would pretend to guess. It will be remarked that so far I have not mentioned the [[United Nations|United Nations Organisation]], that expensive figment of liberal wishful thinking. I have done so now.
**'Home front, front line', ''The Spectator'' (4 July 1998)

*In the twentieth century the capability of a nation's armed forces cannot be separated from that nation's technological capability and industrial resources, or even social fabric. This realisation led me...to the concept of &quot;total strategy&quot;, defined...as strategy conceived as encompassing ''all'' the factors relevant to preserving, or extending, the power and prosperity of a human group in the face of rivalry from other groups... It will be seen that &quot;total strategy&quot; provides a different approach from that of the economic historian, and especially an economic historian in the Anglo-Saxon [[Adam Smith|Adam-Smithian]] free-market tradition.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 103

*Since the [[World War I|Great War]] was an artillery war, shells for field and medium guns stood at the top of the list. But that list also included motor transport, aircraft and aero-engines, small arms and ammunition, telecommunications kit, drugs, and later, tanks and poison gas. It was here that &quot;the audit of war&quot; (to coin a phrase) in 1914–1916 showed up the British industrial system as widely inadequate or obsolescent... To take the basic industrial sinew, British steel production in 1910 was little more than half the German total... According to the ''History of the Ministry of Munitions'': &quot;British manufacturers were behind other countries in research, plant and method. Many of the iron and steel firms were working on a small scale, old systems and uneconomic plant, their cost of production being so high that competition with the steel works of the United States and Germany was becoming impossible&quot;. In fact, this history draws the conclusion that in 1914–1916, &quot;it was only the ability of the Allies to import shell and shell steel from neutral America...that averted the decisive victory of the enemy&quot;. More than 50 per cent of shells fired off in the [[w:Battle of the Somme|Battle of the Somme]] in 1916 were American and Canadian.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 106

*Machine-tools, ball-bearings, magnetos, internal combustion engines, drugs – it is hard to name a basic necessity of advanced technology in which Britain was self-sufficient in 1915... Thus the audit rendered by the first two years of the war on Britain's own capabilities in newer technologies proved harsh enough. Nonetheless, economic historians might object that Britain's Victorian and Edwardian &quot;total strategy&quot; actually served her well enough in wartime. Thanks to her accumulated wealth and her credit as the centre of a global [[free trade]] economy and thanks also to British seapower, she could buy in all the technological imports that she needed – largely from North America. But there are two snags here. First, wealth and credit are wasting assets when spent, while the spending only serves to profit other countries' manufacturers and build up their industries. In contrast, up-to-date export industries of your own are long-term earners. Secondly, the high degree to which free trade had rendered Britain dependent on imports of food and raw materials actually brought her near to complete national defeat in 1917 at the hands of the U-boat... Moreover, even though the U-boat was narrowly beaten, Britain had to devote immense naval resources to the merely defensive purpose of keeping open her sea lifelines. This pattern was to be repeated in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. 
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*[[Richard Cobden|Cobden]] in his boundless mid-Victorian optimism about [[free trade]] could no more have imagined such a plight than [[Adam Smith]] could have imagined refrigerated cargo ships bringing meat from the New World to undercut British livestock farmers. Perhaps their intellectual descendants today are at times too preoccupied with peacetime world trade and the advantages of economic specialisation between nations, to the neglect of the total-strategic implications in wartime of such specialisation. But at least Adam Smith himself recognised that, in his words, &quot;defence, however, is of much greater importance than opulence&quot;.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The audit of the Great War showed up widespread human weaknesses in British industry. Too many British capitalists in their boardrooms were simply self-trained &quot;practical men&quot; smugly content with old products, old equipment and old markets, guided by a concern for short-term profits rather than for the long-term development of their businesses. The [[trade union]]s...were resolutely resistant to new technology, while also holding back productivity by a maze of demarcations and [[w:Restrictive practices|restrictive practices]].
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 108

*The urgent challenge of winning a [[w:Total war|total war]] against so formidable an enemy as Germany, indeed the peril of national defeat, jolted Britain as an industrial society far more effectively than mere peacetime world-market competition, to which she had failed to respond as she should have done according to [[w:Classical economics|classical economic ideas]]. A remarkable technological revolution began in Britain in 1915 and was consummated in 1918 – remarkable not only because of all the deficiencies that had got to be made good, but also because the revolution was accomplished under wartime conditions and at utmost speed. It is also noteworthy that it was masterminded by the ''government'', and that many of the new American-style factories were actually owned and operated by the state.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 109

*It hardly needs emphasising that this wartime technological revolution marked a complete departure from Victorian and Edwardian ''[[laissez-faire]]'' orthodoxy. Given time for consolidation and further development – probably under some form of [[w:Protectionism|protection]] such as fostered the growth of American, German and Japanese industry – Britain's wartime achievements might have served as the starting-point for a root-and-branch modernisation of Britain as an industrial society. Indeed, the 1918 report of the [[w:Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy|Committee on Commercial and Industrial Policy]] virtually recommended this.&lt;br&gt;More fundamentally still, the wartime revolution could have served as the prototype for a new British &quot;total strategy&quot;, based on Britain's own technological strength: in other words, the German and Japanese version of capitalism, a partnership between state and industry, rather than the [[w:Anglo-Saxon model|Anglo-Saxon version]]. But instead Britain tried after the war to revert to her Victorian and Edwardian total strategy based on ''laissez-faire'', the [[w:City of London|City of London]], the [[w:Gold standard|gold-standard]] pound sterling and the [[British Empire|Empire]] – with consequences which would only be fully revealed when the Second World War submitted Britain to yet another audit of industrial capability.
**'The Audit of the Great War on British Technology', in Jean-Pierre Dormois and Michael Dintenfass (eds.), ''The British Industrial Decline'' (1999), p. 112

===2000s===
*On the basis of legal advice sketchy enough to be put on one side of a sheet of A4, and from a single lawyer who was also a cabinet minister, [[Tony Blair|Blair]] finally took Britain to [[w:Iraq War|war]] against a country which posed no threat at all to British interests, let alone to the United Kingdom itself.&lt;br&gt;There can be no sterner test of a national leader's soundness of judgement than when he has to decide between peace and war. And there can be no sterner test of his probity than his choice of the means of persuading his countrymen to back him. Both these tests Tony Blair has unquestionably failed. As a result, he stands convicted of being wholly unworthy of our trust. This is the central fact of this [[w:2005 United Kingdom general election|election]], and we should vote accordingly.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/correlli-barnett-we-need-no-more-evidence-that-blair-is-unworthy-of-our-trust-501951.html We need no more evidence that Blair is unworthy of our trust]', ''The Independent'' (24 April 2005)

*Ever since the war we had lived in a form of state socialism with tremendous controls and regulations over economic and social life. I can remember when you couldn't even buy a house abroad without special permission from the Bank of England. People who think the pre-[[Margaret Thatcher|Thatcher]] years were a golden age really didn't live through them: just ask anyone who rode on the clapped-out railways or tried to make a telephone call when the Post Office ran the phones.&lt;br&gt;When she came to power she transformed the country. The moribund industries relying on taxpayer funding – all gone. The trade unions – all gone. She abolished exchange controls, completely liquidated the state sector of industry and threw the economy wide open.&lt;br&gt;It's certainly true that she was so powerful a person that cabinet government in the collegiate sense began to diminish. More and more they were like a collection of staff officers around the general. [[Tony Blair|Blair]] has taken that further and deliberately adopted a presidential style in every possible way. The main difference was that she had genuine feeling, conviction and leadership. In my view, during the last eight years, Blair has proved a very plausible conman who promises much but hasn't achieved it.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/thatcher-at-80-what-does-she-mean-to-you-319145.html Thatcher at 80: What does she mean to you?]', ''The Independent'' (13 October 2005)

===2010s===
*As I can remember, as a schoolboy in south London, there was no dismay among my family and their friends at the sight of contorted vapour trails high over us as [[w:RAF Fighter Command|Fighter Command]] and the [[w:Luftwaffe|Luftwaffe]] fought it out in the blue summer sky – only a sense of excitement. Looking back now as a historian, it is clear to me that in 1940 the British nation was blessed by an inner certainty that, just as the [[w:Royal Navy|Navy]] had seen off [[Philip II of Spain]] in 1588 and [[w:Napoleon bonapate|Napoleon]] in 1805, so now the [[w:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and the Navy together would see off that funny little man with the toothbrush moustache and his fat chum in the gawdy uniform covered in medals. In that certainty, there was truly an element of the heroic.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

*[I]t was the young pilots of Fighter Command who passed into British myth as &quot;[[w:The Few|The Few]]&quot; who outfought vast German airfleets. Today, 70 years on, we can acknowledge that the young men in the [[w:Messerschmitt Bf 109|Messerschmitts]] were just as gallant, high-spirited and skilful. But whereas the German pilots were fighting for a hideous tyrant in the delusion that they were patriotically defending the Fatherland, the pilots of Fighter Command were modern-day [[w:Sparta|Spartans]], holding the pass for the free world against the barbarian. They included volunteers from the British Dominions overseas, from countries under Nazi occupation such as Czechoslovakia and Poland, and even a handful from neutral America.
**'[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/v-for-victory-the-day-the-battle-of-britain-was-won-2077139.html V for Victory: The day the Battle of Britain was won]', ''The Independent'' (12 September 2010)

==Quotes about Correlli Barnett==
*Barnett is no [[w:Thatcherism|Thatcherite]]: he does not suppose that a return to [[laissez-faire]] in 1945 would have wrought an economic miracle. On the contrary, he believes the Churchill coalition ought to have developed a coherent industrial strategy... Barnett is a joyful debunker of patriotic myth, but not, of course, from a left-wing standpoint. He is probably the only modern British historian whose creed is [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarckian]] [[nationalism]]. His admiration for the German nation-state, through every stage of its development from 1870 to the present day, is the most prominent theme in the book. There are glowing passages, which make one pause, on the productivity of German industry under the Nazis. No trade-union agitators there, no socialists or liberal softies putting a spanner in the works! The occasional admiring references to the United States do little to modify the teutonic feel of the book. Barnett is, in fact, the heir of Sir [[John Robert Seeley|John Seeley]], the Late Victorian prophet of a federal British Empire, whose admiration for [[w:Kingdom of Prussia|Prussia]] led him to the conviction that Britain must develop along the same lines or perish as a great power.
**[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], '[https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v08/n13/paul-addison/warfare-and-welfare Warfare and Welfare]', ''London Review of Books'', Vol. 8, No. 13 (24 July 1986)

*Depressed, shaken by Correlli Barnett's ''The Collapse of British Power''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (25 August 1972), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Politics, 1972–1982'', ed. Ion Trewin (2000), p. 11

*On the return flight...the PM &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Margaret Thatcher]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; invited me to sit at her table... I was interested and gratified to hear her pass a comment showing that she had read ''The Audit of War''.
**[[Alan Clark]], diary entry (17 October 1988), quoted in Alan Clark, ''Diaries: Into Power, 1983–1992'' (1993; 2003), p. 232

*Correlli Barnett was another reputable author whose work was pilfered. &quot;I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter&quot;, [[Keith Joseph|Keith Joseph]] affirmed in his 1987 interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]]. In his follow-up question Seldon qualified this: &quot;You are ''partly'' a Correlli Barnett man&quot;. This showed that the interviewer, at least, had read Barnett's work carefully. In a series of scholarly books and articles Barnett argued that Britain's economic decline could be traced back to an anti-business culture whose foundations were laid by an education system which had been shaped by the model of the public school. Joseph was living evidence that Barnett's theory did not invariably hold good, and indeed some of his detailed points have been criticised. There was a further problem in that Barnett was in no sense an [[w:Economic liberalism|economic liberal]]; the state, he felt, had not intervened enough in industry. But these minor details did not deter Joseph. Barnett had written that British power collapsed because of a pervasive anti-business culture, and for Joseph that was quite enough to make the historian &quot;one of us&quot;. Barnett recognised the differences of principle which Joseph overlooked, but the connection proved useful to him in the 1980s, when Sir Keith and [[w:David Young, Baron Young of Graffham|Lord Young]] encouraged him to put his ideas on vocational training into practice.
**Andrew Denham and [[w:Mark Garnett|Mark Garnett]], ''Keith Joseph'' (2001; 2002), pp. 300-301

*[T]here has been widespread reaction, partly ideological, partly based simply on scrutiny of primary sources, against what [[w:David Cannadine|Cannadine]] has called the &quot;welfare state triumphalism&quot; of much post-Second World War British historiography. The ideological wing of this reaction—incapsulated ''par excellence'' in Correlli Barnett's ''The Audit of War'' (1986)—has questioned not the substance of the established view that the war precipitated the welfare state but its wider implications. Barnett takes direct issue with the [[w:Richard Titmuss|Titmuss]] approach by suggesting that the atmosphere of sentimental and uncritical moral solidarity induced by the war gave rise to wholly unrealistic, Utopian expectations of a post-war world (governed by deficit-finance, job security, comprehensive welfare and indifference to economic consequences) that led inexorably to Britain's post-war economic decline. 
**[[w:Jose Harris|Jose Harris]], 'War and Social History: Britain and the Home Front during the Second World War', ''Contemporary European History'', Vol. 1, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), p. 20

*Dr Correlli Barnett was the first scholar to point out the extent to which, by 1945, Britain had become totally dependent on the United States for its economic survival, let alone its military victory—a dependence that reduced it virtually to satellite status; but this dependence he attributed, rightly or wrongly, not to any mistaken policy pursued by the British government of the day, but to an entire culture that for half a century past had emphasized domestic welfare at the expense of military power.
**[[w:Michael Howard (historian)|Michael Howard]], '1945-1995: reflections on half a century of British security policy', ''International Affairs (Royal Institute of International Affairs 1944-)'', Vol. 71, No. 4, Special RIIA 75th Anniversary Issue (Oct., 1995), p. 706

*It's easy with hindsight to see all those years before and after the war as wasted. I'm a Correlli Barnett supporter. I believe that managements, helped by trade unions and helped by governments, were not nearly effective enough.
**[[Keith Joseph]], interview with [[w:Anthony Seldon|Anthony Seldon]], quoted in Anthony Seldon, 'Escaping the chrysalis of statism', ''Contemporary Record'', 1:1 (Spring 1987), p. 27

*My main concern...was education standards... By early 1986 I had become even more convinced of the importance of this issue after reading Correlli Barnett's newly published book, ''The Audit of War'', which impressively documented the British educational failure stretching back into the last century, and linked it persuasively with the reasons for our disappointing economic performance over that period, with particularly ominous implications for the future.
**[[Nigel Lawson]], ''The View from No. 11: Memoirs of a Tory Radical'' (1992), pp. 606-607

*Barnett is not giving a recipe for a free market and there is no mention of [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s (1944) warning about the state in ''[[The Road to Serfdom]]''. What he appears to think ought to have happened can only be imagined on the basis of a much more powerful central direction, much less deferential to public opinion... The alternative implied here is that of [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]]'s State, which so many British educational reformers admired, with a specific industrial policy and close involvement in the scientific, education, transport and energy infrastructure—the remit given to the state by [[Oswald Mosley]] in 1931 and which [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] and [[António de Oliveira Salazar|Salazar]] attempted to implement. Whether, even under such a regime, Britain could have remained competitive vis-à-vis the United States, Germany and Japan is unlikely; that the electorate would have stood for it, inconceivable. But the Bismarckian state kept the unions and the public in their places: and, Barnett implies, Britain's soft democratic system ought to share the blame with the utopian intellectuals.
**[[w:Keith Middlemas|Keith Middlemas]], review of ''The Audit of War'' in the ''Journal of the Royal Society of Arts'', Vol. 135, No. 5371 (June 1987), pp. 533-534

==External links==
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'''''[[w:West Side Story (2021 film)|West Side Story]]''''' is a [[w:2021 in film|2021]] American musical romantic drama film about forbidden love and the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks, two teenage street gangs of different ethnic backgrounds. 
:''Directed by [[Steven Spielberg]]. Written by [[w:Tony Kushner|Tony Kushner]], based on [[w:West Side Story|the play]] by [[w:Jerome Robbins|Jerome Robbins]], [[Leonard Bernstein]], [[w:Stephen Sondheim|Stephen Sondheim]], and [[w:Arthur Laurents|Arthur Laurents]].''
{{center|'''Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

==Maria==
* In Gimbels, there are lots of dresses that fit me.
* Bernardo thinks I'm a kid. ''[Anita: You ''are'' a kid, kiddo.]''
* ''[singing]'' I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright,&lt;br&gt;And I pity, any girl who isn't me tonight.&lt;br&gt;I feel charming, oh so charming, it's alarming how charming I feel.&lt;br&gt;And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real.

== Tony ==
* It's like I'm always just about to fall off the edge of the world's tallest building. I stopped falling the second I saw you.
* ''[singing]'' Maria... I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name&lt;br&gt;Will never be the same to me.&lt;br&gt;Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria&lt;br&gt;And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be&lt;br&gt;Maria - say it loud and there's music playing&lt;br&gt;Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

== Bernardo ==
* Tonight is about family.
* You keep away from him, as long as you're in my house. ''[Maria: I'm a grown-up now, Bernardo. I'm gonna think for myself.]''
* ''[about Tony]'' He's a polack, that's what he is - a big, dumb polack!

== Anita ==
* ''[to Maria]'' Get your shoes on. I want to dance!
* ''[to the band leader]'' Oye, Javi! Ponle fuego, ¡vamos!
* ''[to Tony after he and Maria are caught together]'' Do you want to start World War III?
* ''[after being assaulted by the Jets]''  You think I want to stay here? In this city full of ugly little animals like you? No gracias. Yo no soy Americana. Yo soy Puertorriqueña! ''[to Valentina]'' Tell Tony... you tell that murderer... Maria ain't coming. Chino, he found out about them. Tony and Maria. He shot her. Maria is dead. You tell him that.

== Valentina ==
* ''[singing]'' There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us&lt;br&gt;Peace and quiet and open air wait for us, Somewhere.&lt;br&gt;There's a time for us, Some day a time for us&lt;br&gt;Time together with time to spare, time to look, time to care, Someday.&lt;br&gt;Somewhere we'll find a new way of living.&lt;br&gt;We'll find a way of forgiving, Somewhere.

== Lieutenant Schrank ==
* What's a gang without its terrain, its turf? You're a month or two away from finding out, one step ahead of the wrecking ball. And in this uncertain world, the only thing you can count on is me.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Tony''': You don't need me helping you screw up your life. 
:'''Riff''': You know how I get. I will start running my mouth. You got command. You are West Side legendary! And, Tony. Tony, the Jets. I gave them my word you'd show. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Valentina''': Tony, I don't tell you who to hang out with, but-
:'''Tony''': ''[in an exaggerated Puerto Rican accent]'' -Bu' dose boysss are yuvenile delinquen'! Dey'rrrrrre no goo' for jou and jou better wash ou'!
:'''Valentina''': ''[in an exaggerated New York accent]'' Hey, you make funna da way I tawk one more time, blondie!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': You're tall.
:'''Tony''': Yeah, and... you're not.
:'''Maria''': You're not Puerto Rican.
:''Tony'': ''[amused]'' You're just figuring that out?
:''Maria'': From down here I wasn't sure.
:'''Tony''': Is it okay? That I'm not?
:'''Maria''': I don't know. Creo que sí, pero...como yo nunca - Since I never seen you before. This is my first time dancing in New York City, so you tell me. Is it OK?
:'''Tony''': Not much I can do about it, but— ''[Maria suddenly tries to kiss Tony. Startled, he pulls back.]'' Sorry, you just caught me by surprise is all. I'm a by-the-book type, so...
:'''Maria''': By the book?
:'''Tony''': Try me again?
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Luz''': ''[offscreen]'' ¡María! ¡María! ¿Qué haces? ¡Sal de ahí ahora mismo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing]'' Tonight, tonight, it all began tonight, I saw you and the world went away.&lt;br&gt;Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight, what you are, what you do, what you say.
:'''Tony''': Today, all day I had the feeling a miracle would happen, I know now I was right. For here you are and what was just a world is a star tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tony begins to climb down the balcony.]''
:'''Maria''': Wait, wait! ''[Tony climbs back up.]'' I forgot why I called you. 
:'''Tony''': I'll wait 'til you remember.
:'''Maria''': Tony is Antonio?
:'''Tony''': Anton.
:'''Maria''': Te adoro, Anton.
:'''Tony''': Te adoro, Maria.
:'''Tony and Maria''': ''[singing]'' Good night, good night,&lt;br&gt;Sleep well and when you dream.&lt;br&gt;Dream of me&lt;br&gt;Tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Puerto Rico, you lovely island,&lt;br&gt;Island of tropical breezes.&lt;br&gt;Always the pineapples growing,&lt;br&gt;Always the coffee blossoms blowing.
:'''Woman #1''': And the money owing
:'''Woman #2''': And the sunlight streaming
:'''Woman #3''': And the natives steaming.
:'''Anita''': I like the island of Manhattan. 
:'''Rosalina:''' I know you do!
:'''Anita''': Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
:'''Girls''': ''[singing]'' I like to be in America,&lt;br&gt;OK by me in America,&lt;br&gt;Everything free in America!
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' For a small fee in America.
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Buying on credit is so nice.
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' One look at us and they charge twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[learning to speak Spanish with Valentina]'' I'm happy to see you again.
:'''Valentina''': Me alegra verte de nuevo.
:''[Tony takes the pencil and writes it down]''
:'''Tony''': Me... alegra... verte... de nuevo.
:'''Valentina''': So, who are you so happy to see again?
:'''Tony''': Last one: &quot;You look beautiful.&quot;
:'''Valentina''': ¿De veras?
:'''Tony''': De...veras.
:'''Valentina''': ¿Una puertorriqueña?
:''[Tony grins, shrugs. She looks very concerned]''
:'''Tony''': I wanna do like Doc, find me a Puerto Rican gal!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[singing]'' Make of our hands one hand, Make of our hearts one heart&lt;br&gt;Make of our vows one last vow, Only death will part us now.
:'''Maria''': Make of our lives one life, Day after day one life
:'''Tony and Maria''': Now it begins, now we start&lt;br&gt;One hand, one heart, even death won't part us now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chino''': And Riff, he got stabbed, and...
:'''Maria''': Tony. Chino!
:'''Chino''': Tony killed Bernardo.
:'''Maria''': Chino! Liar!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': He will never be safe here.
:'''Maria''': Sí, lo sé.
:'''Anita''': And no one will ever forgive him.
:'''Maria''': Will you?
:'''Anita''': You can't ever ask me that.
:'''Maria''': Will you forgive me?
:'''Anita''': Te quiero, mi niña. For he will have to go away, and you will have to go with him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing to Tony after Chino shoots him]'' Only you, you’re the only thing I’ll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do. Nothing else but you ever. ''[Tony dies. As she lays him down on the ground gently; reaches her hand in front of Chino]  Give it to me.
:''[Maria takes the gun after Chino refused]''
:'''Maria''': ''[examining the gun]''  How do you fire it? Just... pull this?! ''[Points the gun at Chino]'' How many bullets are left? Enough for you? ''[Points at Ice]'' And you? ''[Points at Diesel and the other Jets]'' All of you? I can kill now because I hate now. ''[Points at the Sharks]'' I hate now. ''[She points at Chino again]'' How many can I kill, Chino? How many? And still have one bullet left for me? ''[Instead surrenders and goes back to Tony's body; kisses Tony]'' Te adoro, Anton. ''[the Jets go to their fallen as Ice tries to help Maria but Maria shrugs him off]'' No, don't touch him!
:'''Braulio''': ''[comforting Maria]''  Maria, ya es tiempo. Vente con nosotros.

== Taglines ==
* A city divided. Their love will change everything
* Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.
* Risk everything for true love.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Ansel Elgort|Ansel Elgort]] - Tony
* [[w:Rachel Zegler|Rachel Zegler]] - Maria
* [[w:Ariana DeBose|Ariana DeBose]] - Anita
* [[w:David Alvarez (actor)|David Alvarez]] - Bernardo
* [[w:Mike Faist|Mike Faist]] - Riff
* [[w:Rita Moreno|Rita Moreno]] - Valentina
* [[w:Brian d'Arcy James|Brian d'Arcy James]] - Officer Krupke
* [[w:Corey Stoll|Corey Stoll]] - Lieutenant Schrank
* Josh Andrés Rivera - Chino
* [[w:Ana Isabelle|Ana Isabelle]] - Rosalía
* [[w:Andréa Burns|Andréa Burns]] - Fausta
* [[w:Jamila Velazquez|Jamila Velazquez]] - Meche
* [[w:Yassmin Alers|Yassmin Alers]] - Lluvia
* [[w:Jamie Harris (actor)|Jamie Harris]] - Rory
* [[w:Curtiss Cook|Curtiss Cook]] - Abe
* Paloma Garcia-Lee - Graziella
* Patrick Higgins - Baby John
* [[w:Ben Cook (actor)|Ben Cook]] - Mouthpiece
* [[w:Kyle Allen (actor)|Kyle Allen]] - Balkan
* [[w:Myles Erlick|Myles Erlick]] - Snowboy
* [[w:Talia Ryder|Talia Ryder]] - Tessie
* [[w:Maddie Ziegler|Maddie Ziegler]] - Velma

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|West Side Story (2021 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=3581652|title=West Side Story}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=west_side_story_2021|title=West Side Story}}
* [https://www.westsidestory.com/2021-film Official website]

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Films based on plays]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Romantic drama films]]
[[Category:Steven Spielberg films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by William Shakespeare]]
[[Category:Films set in Manhattan]]
[[Category:Gang films]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
      <sha1>b966uz0m6hmacic9fpezcwrndf7yuz8</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154539</id>
      <parentid>3154538</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:40:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10019" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:West Side Story (2021 film)|West Side Story]]''''' is a [[w:2021 in film|2021]] American musical romantic drama film about forbidden love and the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks, two teenage street gangs of different ethnic backgrounds. 
:''Directed by [[Steven Spielberg]]. Written by [[w:Tony Kushner|Tony Kushner]], based on [[w:West Side Story|the play]] by [[w:Jerome Robbins|Jerome Robbins]], [[Leonard Bernstein]], [[w:Stephen Sondheim|Stephen Sondheim]], and [[w:Arthur Laurents|Arthur Laurents]].''
{{center|'''Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

==Maria==
* In Gimbels, there are lots of dresses that fit me.
* Bernardo thinks I'm a kid. ''[Anita: You ''are'' a kid, kiddo.]''
* ''[singing]'' I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright,&lt;br&gt;And I pity, any girl who isn't me tonight.&lt;br&gt;I feel charming, oh so charming, it's alarming how charming I feel.&lt;br&gt;And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real.

== Tony ==
* It's like I'm always just about to fall off the edge of the world's tallest building. I stopped falling the second I saw you.
* ''[singing]'' Maria... I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name&lt;br&gt;Will never be the same to me.&lt;br&gt;Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria&lt;br&gt;And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be&lt;br&gt;Maria - say it loud and there's music playing&lt;br&gt;Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

== Bernardo ==
* Tonight is about family.
* You keep away from him, as long as you're in my house. ''[Maria: I'm a grown-up now, Bernardo. I'm gonna think for myself.]''
* ''[about Tony]'' He's a polack, that's what he is - a big, dumb polack!

== Anita ==
* ''[to Maria]'' Get your shoes on. I want to dance!
* ''[to the band leader]'' Oye, Javi! Ponle fuego, ¡vamos!
* ''[to Tony after he and Maria are caught together]'' Do you want to start World War III?
* ''[after being assaulted by the Jets]''  You think I want to stay here? In this city full of ugly little animals like you? No gracias. Yo no soy Americana. Yo soy Puertorriqueña! ''[to Valentina]'' Tell Tony... you tell that murderer... Maria ain't coming. Chino, he found out about them. Tony and Maria. He shot her. Maria is dead. You tell him that.

== Valentina ==
* ''[singing]'' There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us&lt;br&gt;Peace and quiet and open air wait for us, Somewhere.&lt;br&gt;There's a time for us, Some day a time for us&lt;br&gt;Time together with time to spare, time to look, time to care, Someday.&lt;br&gt;Somewhere we'll find a new way of living.&lt;br&gt;We'll find a way of forgiving, Somewhere.

== Lieutenant Schrank ==
* What's a gang without its terrain, its turf? You're a month or two away from finding out, one step ahead of the wrecking ball. And in this uncertain world, the only thing you can count on is me.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Tony''': You don't need me helping you screw up your life. 
:'''Riff''': You know how I get. I will start running my mouth. You got command. You are West Side legendary! And, Tony. Tony, the Jets. I gave them my word you'd show. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Valentina''': Tony, I don't tell you who to hang out with, but-
:'''Tony''': ''[in an exaggerated Puerto Rican accent]'' -Bu' dose boysss are yuvenile delinquen'! Dey'rrrrrre no goo' for jou and jou better wash ou'!
:'''Valentina''': ''[in an exaggerated New York accent]'' Hey, you make funna da way I tawk one more time, blondie!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': You're tall.
:'''Tony''': Yeah, and... you're not.
:'''Maria''': You're not Puerto Rican.
:''Tony'': ''[amused]'' You're just figuring that out?
:''Maria'': From down here I wasn't sure.
:'''Tony''': Is it okay? That I'm not?
:'''Maria''': I don't know. Creo que sí, pero...como yo nunca - Since I never seen you before. This is my first time dancing in New York City, so you tell me. Is it OK?
:'''Tony''': Not much I can do about it, but— ''[Maria suddenly tries to kiss Tony. Startled, he pulls back.]'' Sorry, you just caught me by surprise is all. I'm a by-the-book type, so...
:'''Maria''': By the book?
:'''Tony''': Try me again?
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Luz''': ''[offscreen]'' ¡María! ¡María! ¿Qué haces? ¡Sal de ahí ahora mismo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing]'' Tonight, tonight, it all began tonight, I saw you and the world went away.&lt;br&gt;Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight, what you are, what you do, what you say.
:'''Tony''': Today, all day I had the feeling a miracle would happen, I know now I was right. For here you are and what was just a world is a star tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tony begins to climb down the balcony.]''
:'''Maria''': Wait, wait! ''[Tony climbs back up.]'' I forgot why I called you. 
:'''Tony''': I'll wait 'til you remember.
:'''Maria''': Tony is Antonio?
:'''Tony''': Anton.
:'''Maria''': Te adoro, Anton.
:'''Tony''': Te adoro, Maria.
:'''Tony and Maria''': ''[singing]'' Good night, good night,&lt;br&gt;Sleep well and when you dream.&lt;br&gt;Dream of me&lt;br&gt;Tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Puerto Rico, you lovely island,&lt;br&gt;Island of tropical breezes.&lt;br&gt;Always the pineapples growing,&lt;br&gt;Always the coffee blossoms blowing.
:'''Woman #1''': And the money owing
:'''Woman #2''': And the sunlight streaming
:'''Woman #3''': And the natives steaming.
:'''Anita''': I like the island of Manhattan. 
:'''Rosalina:''' I know you do!
:'''Anita''': Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
:'''Girls''': ''[singing]'' I like to be in America,&lt;br&gt;OK by me in America,&lt;br&gt;Everything free in America!
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' For a small fee in America.
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Buying on credit is so nice.
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' One look at us and they charge twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[learning to speak Spanish with Valentina]'' I'm happy to see you again.
:'''Valentina''': Me alegra verte de nuevo.
:''[Tony takes the pencil and writes it down]''
:'''Tony''': Me... alegra... verte... de nuevo.
:'''Valentina''': So, who are you so happy to see again?
:'''Tony''': Last one: &quot;You look beautiful.&quot;
:'''Valentina''': ¿De veras?
:'''Tony''': De...veras.
:'''Valentina''': ¿Una puertorriqueña?
:''[Tony grins, shrugs. She looks very concerned]''
:'''Tony''': I wanna do like Doc, find me a Puerto Rican gal!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[singing]'' Make of our hands one hand, Make of our hearts one heart&lt;br&gt;Make of our vows one last vow, Only death will part us now.
:'''Maria''': Make of our lives one life, Day after day one life
:'''Tony and Maria''': Now it begins, now we start&lt;br&gt;One hand, one heart, even death won't part us now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chino''': And Riff, he got stabbed, and...
:'''Maria''': Tony. Chino!
:'''Chino''': Tony killed Bernardo.
:'''Maria''': Chino! Liar!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': He will never be safe here.
:'''Maria''': Sí, lo sé.
:'''Anita''': And no one will ever forgive him.
:'''Maria''': Will you?
:'''Anita''': You can't ever ask me that.
:'''Maria''': Will you forgive me?
:'''Anita''': Te quiero, mi niña. For he will have to go away, and you will have to go with him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing to Tony after Chino shoots him]'' Only you, you’re the only thing I’ll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do. Nothing else but you ever. ''[Tony dies. As she lays him down on the ground gently; reaches her hand in front of Chino]  Give it to me.
:''[Maria takes the gun after Chino refused]''
:'''Maria''': ''[examining the gun]''  How do you fire it? Just... pull this?! ''[Points the gun at Chino]'' How many bullets are left? Enough for you? ''[Points at Ice]'' And you? ''[Points at Diesel and the other Jets]'' All of you? I can kill now because I hate now. ''[Points at the Sharks]'' I hate now. ''[She points at Chino again]'' How many can I kill, Chino? How many? And still have one bullet left for me? ''[Instead surrenders and goes back to Tony's body; kisses Tony]'' Te adoro, Anton. ''[the Jets go to their fallen as Ice tries to help Maria but Maria shrugs him off]'' No, don't touch him!
:'''Braulio''': ''[comforting Maria]''  Maria, ya es tiempo. Vente con nosotros.

== Taglines ==
* A city divided. Their love will change everything
* Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.
* Risk everything for true love.

== Cast ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
* [[w:Ansel Elgort|Ansel Elgort]] - Tony
* [[w:Rachel Zegler|Rachel Zegler]] - Maria
* [[w:Ariana DeBose|Ariana DeBose]] - Anita
* [[w:David Alvarez (actor)|David Alvarez]] - Bernardo
* [[w:Mike Faist|Mike Faist]] - Riff
* [[w:Rita Moreno|Rita Moreno]] - Valentina
* [[w:Brian d'Arcy James|Brian d'Arcy James]] - Officer Krupke
* [[w:Corey Stoll|Corey Stoll]] - Lieutenant Schrank
* Josh Andrés Rivera - Chino
* [[w:Ana Isabelle|Ana Isabelle]] - Rosalía
* [[w:Andréa Burns|Andréa Burns]] - Fausta
{{col-2}}
* [[w:Jamila Velazquez|Jamila Velazquez]] - Meche
* [[w:Yassmin Alers|Yassmin Alers]] - Lluvia
* [[w:Jamie Harris (actor)|Jamie Harris]] - Rory
* [[w:Curtiss Cook|Curtiss Cook]] - Abe
* Paloma Garcia-Lee - Graziella
* Patrick Higgins - Baby John
* [[w:Ben Cook (actor)|Ben Cook]] - Mouthpiece
* [[w:Kyle Allen (actor)|Kyle Allen]] - Balkan
* [[w:Myles Erlick|Myles Erlick]] - Snowboy
* [[w:Talia Ryder|Talia Ryder]] - Tessie
* [[w:Maddie Ziegler|Maddie Ziegler]] - Velma
{{col-end}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|West Side Story (2021 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=3581652|title=West Side Story}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=west_side_story_2021|title=West Side Story}}
* [https://www.westsidestory.com/2021-film Official website]

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Films based on plays]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Romantic drama films]]
[[Category:Steven Spielberg films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by William Shakespeare]]
[[Category:Films set in Manhattan]]
[[Category:Gang films]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
      <sha1>3o8o6rxe8q9gjpe25oe4bj4f1sn6hqu</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154540</id>
      <parentid>3154539</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T13:41:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10073" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:West Side Story (2021 film)|West Side Story]]''''' is a [[w:2021 in film|2021]] American musical romantic drama film about forbidden love and the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks, two teenage street gangs of different ethnic backgrounds. 
:''Directed by [[Steven Spielberg]]. Written by [[w:Tony Kushner|Tony Kushner]], based on [[w:West Side Story|the play]] by [[w:Jerome Robbins|Jerome Robbins]], [[Leonard Bernstein]], [[w:Stephen Sondheim|Stephen Sondheim]], and [[w:Arthur Laurents|Arthur Laurents]].''
{{center|'''Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

==Maria==
* In Gimbels, there are lots of dresses that fit me.
* Bernardo thinks I'm a kid. ''[Anita: You ''are'' a kid, kiddo.]''
* ''[singing]'' I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright,&lt;br&gt;And I pity, any girl who isn't me tonight.&lt;br&gt;I feel charming, oh so charming, it's alarming how charming I feel.&lt;br&gt;And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real.

== Tony ==
* It's like I'm always just about to fall off the edge of the world's tallest building. I stopped falling the second I saw you.
* ''[singing]'' Maria... I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name&lt;br&gt;Will never be the same to me.&lt;br&gt;Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria&lt;br&gt;And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be&lt;br&gt;Maria - say it loud and there's music playing&lt;br&gt;Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

== Bernardo ==
* Tonight is about family.
* You keep away from him, as long as you're in my house. ''[Maria: I'm a grown-up now, Bernardo. I'm gonna think for myself.]''
* ''[about Tony]'' He's a polack, that's what he is - a big, dumb polack!

== Anita ==
* ''[to Maria]'' Get your shoes on. I want to dance!
* ''[to the band leader]'' Oye, Javi! Ponle fuego, ¡vamos!
* ''[to Tony after he and Maria are caught together]'' Do you want to start World War III?
* ''[after being assaulted by the Jets]''  You think I want to stay here? In this city full of ugly little animals like you? No gracias. Yo no soy Americana. Yo soy Puertorriqueña! ''[to Valentina]'' Tell Tony... you tell that murderer... Maria ain't coming. Chino, he found out about them. Tony and Maria. He shot her. Maria is dead. You tell him that.

== Valentina ==
* ''[singing]'' There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us&lt;br&gt;Peace and quiet and open air wait for us, Somewhere.&lt;br&gt;There's a time for us, Some day a time for us&lt;br&gt;Time together with time to spare, time to look, time to care, Someday.&lt;br&gt;Somewhere we'll find a new way of living.&lt;br&gt;We'll find a way of forgiving, Somewhere.

== Lieutenant Schrank ==
* What's a gang without its terrain, its turf? You're a month or two away from finding out, one step ahead of the wrecking ball. And in this uncertain world, the only thing you can count on is me.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Tony''': You don't need me helping you screw up your life. 
:'''Riff''': You know how I get. I will start running my mouth. You got command. You are West Side legendary! And, Tony. Tony, the Jets. I gave them my word you'd show. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Valentina''': Tony, I don't tell you who to hang out with, but-
:'''Tony''': ''[in an exaggerated Puerto Rican accent]'' -Bu' dose boysss are yuvenile delinquen'! Dey'rrrrrre no goo' for jou and jou better wash ou'!
:'''Valentina''': ''[in an exaggerated New York accent]'' Hey, you make funna da way I tawk one more time, blondie!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': You're tall.
:'''Tony''': Yeah, and... you're not.
:'''Maria''': You're not Puerto Rican.
:''Tony'': ''[amused]'' You're just figuring that out?
:''Maria'': From down here I wasn't sure.
:'''Tony''': Is it okay? That I'm not?
:'''Maria''': I don't know. Creo que sí, pero...como yo nunca - Since I never seen you before. This is my first time dancing in New York City, so you tell me. Is it OK?
:'''Tony''': Not much I can do about it, but— ''[Maria suddenly tries to kiss Tony. Startled, he pulls back.]'' Sorry, you just caught me by surprise is all. I'm a by-the-book type, so...
:'''Maria''': By the book?
:'''Tony''': Try me again?
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Luz''': ''[offscreen]'' ¡María! ¡María! ¿Qué haces? ¡Sal de ahí ahora mismo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing]'' Tonight, tonight, it all began tonight, I saw you and the world went away.&lt;br&gt;Tonight, tonight, there's only you tonight, what you are, what you do, what you say.
:'''Tony''': Today, all day I had the feeling a miracle would happen, I know now I was right. For here you are and what was just a world is a star tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tony begins to climb down the balcony.]''
:'''Maria''': Wait, wait! ''[Tony climbs back up.]'' I forgot why I called you. 
:'''Tony''': I'll wait 'til you remember.
:'''Maria''': Tony is Antonio?
:'''Tony''': Anton.
:'''Maria''': Te adoro, Anton.
:'''Tony''': Te adoro, Maria.
:'''Tony and Maria''': ''[singing]'' Good night, good night,&lt;br&gt;Sleep well and when you dream.&lt;br&gt;Dream of me&lt;br&gt;Tonight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Puerto Rico, you lovely island,&lt;br&gt;Island of tropical breezes.&lt;br&gt;Always the pineapples growing,&lt;br&gt;Always the coffee blossoms blowing.
:'''Woman #1''': And the money owing
:'''Woman #2''': And the sunlight streaming
:'''Woman #3''': And the natives steaming.
:'''Anita''': I like the island of Manhattan. 
:'''Rosalina:''' I know you do!
:'''Anita''': Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
:'''Girls''': ''[singing]'' I like to be in America,&lt;br&gt;OK by me in America,&lt;br&gt;Everything free in America!
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' For a small fee in America.
:'''Anita''': ''[singing]'' Buying on credit is so nice.
:'''Bernardo''': ''[singing]'' One look at us and they charge twice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[learning to speak Spanish with Valentina]'' I'm happy to see you again.
:'''Valentina''': Me alegra verte de nuevo.
:''[Tony takes the pencil and writes it down]''
:'''Tony''': Me... alegra... verte... de nuevo.
:'''Valentina''': So, who are you so happy to see again?
:'''Tony''': Last one: &quot;You look beautiful.&quot;
:'''Valentina''': ¿De veras?
:'''Tony''': De...veras.
:'''Valentina''': ¿Una puertorriqueña?
:''[Tony grins, shrugs. She looks very concerned]''
:'''Tony''': I wanna do like Doc, find me a Puerto Rican gal!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tony''': ''[singing]'' Make of our hands one hand, Make of our hearts one heart&lt;br&gt;Make of our vows one last vow, Only death will part us now.
:'''Maria''': Make of our lives one life, Day after day one life
:'''Tony and Maria''': Now it begins, now we start&lt;br&gt;One hand, one heart, even death won't part us now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chino''': And Riff, he got stabbed, and...
:'''Maria''': Tony. Chino!
:'''Chino''': Tony killed Bernardo.
:'''Maria''': Chino! Liar!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Anita''': He will never be safe here.
:'''Maria''': Sí, lo sé.
:'''Anita''': And no one will ever forgive him.
:'''Maria''': Will you?
:'''Anita''': You can't ever ask me that.
:'''Maria''': Will you forgive me?
:'''Anita''': Te quiero, mi niña. For he will have to go away, and you will have to go with him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Maria''': ''[singing to Tony after Chino shoots him]'' Only you, you’re the only thing I’ll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do. Nothing else but you ever. ''[Tony dies. As she lays him down on the ground gently; reaches her hand in front of Chino]  Give it to me.
:''[Maria takes the gun after Chino refused]''
:'''Maria''': ''[examining the gun]''  How do you fire it? Just... pull this?! ''[Points the gun at Chino]'' How many bullets are left? Enough for you? ''[Points at Ice]'' And you? ''[Points at Diesel and the other Jets]'' All of you? I can kill now because I hate now. ''[Points at the Sharks]'' I hate now. ''[She points at Chino again]'' How many can I kill, Chino? How many? And still have one bullet left for me? ''[Instead surrenders and goes back to Tony's body; kisses Tony]'' Te adoro, Anton. ''[the Jets go to their fallen as Ice tries to help Maria but Maria shrugs him off]'' No, don't touch him!
:'''Braulio''': ''[comforting Maria]''  Maria, ya es tiempo. Vente con nosotros.

== Taglines ==
* A city divided. Their love will change everything
* Celebrate the greatest love story of all time.
* Risk everything for true love.

== Cast ==
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
* [[w:Ansel Elgort|Ansel Elgort]] - Tony
* [[w:Rachel Zegler|Rachel Zegler]] - Maria
* [[w:Ariana DeBose|Ariana DeBose]] - Anita
* [[w:David Alvarez (actor)|David Alvarez]] - Bernardo
* [[w:Mike Faist|Mike Faist]] - Riff
* [[w:Rita Moreno|Rita Moreno]] - Valentina
* [[w:Brian d'Arcy James|Brian d'Arcy James]] - Officer Krupke
* [[w:Corey Stoll|Corey Stoll]] - Lieutenant Schrank
* Josh Andrés Rivera - Chino
* [[w:Ana Isabelle|Ana Isabelle]] - Rosalía
* [[w:Andréa Burns|Andréa Burns]] - Fausta
{{col-2}}
* [[w:Jamila Velazquez|Jamila Velazquez]] - Meche
* [[w:Yassmin Alers|Yassmin Alers]] - Lluvia
* [[w:Jamie Harris (actor)|Jamie Harris]] - Rory
* [[w:Curtiss Cook|Curtiss Cook]] - Abe
* Paloma Garcia-Lee - Graziella
* Patrick Higgins - Baby John
* [[w:Ben Cook (actor)|Ben Cook]] - Mouthpiece
* [[w:Kyle Allen (actor)|Kyle Allen]] - Balkan
* [[w:Myles Erlick|Myles Erlick]] - Snowboy
* [[w:Talia Ryder|Talia Ryder]] - Tessie
* [[w:Maddie Ziegler|Maddie Ziegler]] - Velma
{{col-end}}

== See also ==
* ''[[West Side Story (1961 film)]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|West Side Story (2021 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=3581652|title=West Side Story}} 
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=west_side_story_2021|title=West Side Story}}
* [https://www.westsidestory.com/2021-film Official website]

[[Category:2021 films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:Crime films]]
[[Category:Films based on plays]]
[[Category:Musical films]]
[[Category:Romantic drama films]]
[[Category:Steven Spielberg films]]
[[Category:Remake films]]
[[Category:Films based on works by William Shakespeare]]
[[Category:Films set in Manhattan]]
[[Category:Gang films]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
      <sha1>sk4v0gyj2hw89um0ev7dd5hrucqujm7</sha1>
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  <page>
    <title>Nazir Ahmad Qasmi</title>
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      <text bytes="604" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.</text>
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      <id>3154562</id>
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      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="964" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

===Quotes===

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
**Mufti Nazīr Ahmad Qasmi, ''Two day international Conference on Conservation of Environment and role of religion''  , ''Central University of Kashmir (CUK)''.</text>
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      <text bytes="1438" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
**Mufti Nazīr Ahmad Qasmi, ''Two day international Conference on Conservation of Environment and role of religion''  , ''Central University of Kashmir (CUK)''.
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.


==External links==
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1420" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
**Mufti Nazīr Ahmad Qasmi, ''Two day international Conference on Conservation of Environment and role of religion''  , ''Central University of Kashmir (CUK)''.
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.


{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <comment>Remove the reference</comment>
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      <text bytes="1259" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.


{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1273" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.


{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1290" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.

==External links==
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1528" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.

*&quot;To learn, write, and gain expertise in Urdu language is a religious obligation upon the Muslims living here (Kashmir)&quot;.
**Faiz Qāziābādī (2019). ''Madāris awr Urdu'' [Madrassas and Urdu] (in Urdu). Delhi: Kitabi Dunya. ''p. 345''

==External links==
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Darul Uloom Deoband alumni]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1488" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.

*&quot;To learn, write, and gain expertise in Urdu language is a religious obligation upon the Muslims living here (Kashmir)&quot;.
**Faiz Qāziābādī (2019). ''Madāris awr Urdu'' [Madrassas and Urdu] (in Urdu). Delhi: Kitabi Dunya. ''p. 345''

==External links==
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:People from Kishtwar district]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1477" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[wikipedia:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[wikipedia:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[wikipedia:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]] ; and a member of the [[wikipedia:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[wikipedia:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==

*&quot;Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.&quot;
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.

*&quot;To learn, write, and gain expertise in Urdu language is a religious obligation upon the Muslims living here (Kashmir)&quot;.
**Faiz Qāziābādī (2019). ''Madāris awr Urdu'' [Madrassas and Urdu] (in Urdu). Delhi: Kitabi Dunya. ''p. 345''

==External links==
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Jurists from India]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1418" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Nazir Ahmad Qasmi|Nazir Ahmad Qasmi]]''' (born 1 June 1965) is a [[w:Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar|Kashmiri Sunni Islamic scholar]] and jurist who serves as the Grand Mufti of [[w:Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah| Darul Uloom Raheemiyyah]]. He is an alumnus of [[w:Darul Uloom Deoband|Darul Uloom Deoband]] and the [[w:Imārat-e-Sharia|Imārat-e-Sharia]]; and a member of the [[w:All India Muslim Personal Law Board| All India Muslim Personal Law Board]] and general secretary of the [[w:Majlis-e-Fiqhi|Majlis-e-Fiqhi]] , Jammu and Kashmir.

==Quotes==
* Conservation and preservation of water and other natural resources is a religious obligation for all mankind and not complying is a violation against the compassion of the Creator.
** Retrieved from [https://kashmirvision.in/2017/07/06/cuks-2-day-international-conference-on-conservation-and-role-of-religion-begins/ CUK’s 2-day international conference on conservation and role of religion begins], on 14 August 2022.

* To learn, write, and gain expertise in Urdu language is a religious obligation upon the Muslims living here (Kashmir).
**Faiz Qāziābādī (2019). ''Madāris awr Urdu'' [Madrassas and Urdu] (in Urdu). Delhi: Kitabi Dunya. ''p. 345''

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Qasmi, Nazir Ahmad}}
{{authority control}}

[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:Jurists from India]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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    <title>Ilyas Kandhlawi</title>
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      <comment>Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="123" xml:space="preserve">'''Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi''' was an Indian Islamic scholar who started the Islamic reformative movement, Tablighi Jamaat.</text>
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      <text bytes="333" xml:space="preserve">'''Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi''' was an Indian Islamic scholar who started the Islamic reformative movement, Tablighi Jamaat.

==Quotes==
* &quot;People out there are burning in the fire of ignorance and you are wasting your time here inquiring about my health!&quot;
** R. K. P. Multani (2007).  ''Islamic Fundamentalism in South Asia'', p. 212</text>
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      <text bytes="348" xml:space="preserve">'''Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi''' was an Indian Islamic scholar who started the Islamic reformative movement, Tablighi Jamaat.

==Quotes==
* &quot;People out there are burning in the fire of ignorance and you are wasting your time here inquiring about my health!&quot;
** R. K. P. Multani (2007).  ''Islamic Fundamentalism in South Asia'', p. 212

{{Wikipedia}}</text>
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      <text bytes="379" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi|Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi]]''' was an Indian Islamic scholar who started the Islamic reformative movement, Tablighi Jamaat.

==Quotes==
* &quot;People out there are burning in the fire of ignorance and you are wasting your time here inquiring about my health!&quot;
** R. K. P. Multani (2007).  ''Islamic Fundamentalism in South Asia'', p. 212

{{Wikipedia}}</text>
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      <comment>/* Quotes */Added categories</comment>
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      <text bytes="628" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi|Muhammad Ilyas Kandhlawi]]''' was an Indian Islamic scholar who started the Islamic reformative movement, Tablighi Jamaat.

==Quotes==
* &quot;People out there are burning in the fire of ignorance and you are wasting your time here inquiring about my health!&quot;
** R. K. P. Multani (2007).  ''Islamic Fundamentalism in South Asia'', p. 212

{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:1885 births]]
[[Category:1944 deaths]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]
[[Category:Indian Sunni Muslim scholars of Islam]]
[[Category:Tablighi Jamaat people]]
[[Category:Students of Mahmud Hasan Deobandi]]
[[Category:People from Shamli district]]</text>
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      <text bytes="630" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Ilyas Kandhlawi|Muḥammad Ilyās ibn Muḥammad Ismā‘īl Kāndhlawī Dihlawī]]''' (1884 – 13 July 1944) was an [[w:Indian people|Indian]] [[w:Islamic scholar|Islamic scholar]] who founded the [[w:Tablighi Jamaat|Tablighi Jamaat]] Islamic revivalist movement, in 1925, in [[w:Mewat|Mewat province]].

==Quotes==
* People out there are burning in the fire of ignorance and you are wasting your time here inquiring about my health!
** R. K. P. Multani (2007).  ''Islamic Fundamentalism in South Asia'', p. 212

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:1885 births]]
[[Category:1944 deaths]]
[[Category:Deobandis]]</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;Ahmad Zarruq (Arabic: أحمد زروق) also known as Imam az-Zarrūq ash Shadhili (Aḥmad ibn Aḥmad ibn Muḥammad ibn ‘Īsa) (1442–1493 CE) was a 15th-century Moroccan Shadhili Sufi, jurist and saint from Fes.  == Quotes ==  * '''This world is like the river of Goliath from which no one who drinks is saved except the one who scoops up a handful, not the one who slakes his thirst.'''&quot;</comment>
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      <text bytes="395" xml:space="preserve">Ahmad Zarruq (Arabic: أحمد زروق) also known as Imam az-Zarrūq ash Shadhili (Aḥmad ibn Aḥmad ibn Muḥammad ibn ‘Īsa) (1442–1493 CE) was a 15th-century Moroccan Shadhili Sufi, jurist and saint from Fes.

== Quotes ==

* '''This world is like the river of Goliath from which no one who drinks is saved except the one who scoops up a handful, not the one who slakes his thirst.'''</text>
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    <title>Pete Hegseth</title>
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      <text bytes="3416" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped).jpg|thumb|Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped)]]
'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|Pete Hegseth (45527410795)]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''Peter Brian Hegseth''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

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      <text bytes="12207" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped).jpg|thumb|Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped)]]
'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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        <id>4304</id>
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      <text bytes="12449" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped).jpg|thumb|Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped)]]
'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Princeton University alumni]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:People from Minnesota]]</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Princeton University alumni]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:People from Minnesota]]
[[Category:Conservatives from the United States]]</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Princeton University alumni]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:People from Minnesota]]
[[Category:Conservatives from the United States]]
[[Category:Political commentators from the United States]]</text>
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'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* '''During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.'''
** p. 54-55

* '''Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** p. 55

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Princeton University alumni]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:People from Minnesota]]
[[Category:Conservatives from the United States]]
[[Category:Political commentators from the United States]]</text>
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      <text bytes="14665" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped).jpg|thumb|Pete Hegseth (51329766174) (cropped)]]
'''[[w:Pete Hegseth|Peter Brian Hegseth]]''' (born June 6, 1980) is an American television host and author.

[[File:WTC smoking on 9-11.jpeg|thumb|On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.]]
[[File:2012-71-3 Award, Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal (7852732944).jpg|thumb|In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.]]
[[File:Pete Hegseth (45527410795).jpg|thumb|I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.]]
[[File:Taliban Humvee in Kabul, August 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality.]]

== Quotes ==

=== ''Modern Warriors'' (2020) ===

* '''On 9/11 I was a college student. Those attacks on New York City, the Pentagon, and in the skies reoriented the trajectory of my life- and the lives of an entire generation.'''
** p. x

* '''In an odd way, this rise of ISIS, followed by their defeat, crystallized even further the need to tell the long, winding, conflicted, and utterly courageous stories of the men who have been fighting since 9/11. Did we win? Did we lose? Was it worth it? The legacy of warriors is worthy of elevation- a reflection of what we should really value.'''
** p. xiii

* It was out of all these moments that the idea for ''Modern Warriors'' rose. While politicians and media can whitewash a conflict, the legacy always remains for those who fought there. The warriors who left their families, friends, and comfort to do the dirty work of their country. We need to tell those stories. And then veterans come home, with hopes and dreams- and scars of war. They struggle to transition to civilian life; many are wounded (seen and unseen); many wrestle with post-traumatic stress; suicide was taking more lives than the battlefield ever did. We cannot allow ourselves to look away, shrug, and say that's just the way it is. We had to do what we did downrange. We had to embrace the suck. We had to be able to share with our families and our nation the reality of what it meant to be there, to fight, to lose buddies, and to honestly engage in a conversation among ourselves to figure out what all of this meant- and what it means for our country.
** p. xiii

* By their nature, these veterans are straight talkers. And they have strong, informed opinions. In the company of one another, keeping it in the family, they pull no punches. They share their stories for the benefit, as well as yours. They share a desire to step beyond the boundaries of their immediate military families- to include you. Each of the chapters in this book highlights an individual modern warrior who has agreed to share experiences and insights. The good, the bad, the weird, the beautiful, the ugly- the real story in their own words, from the interviews I conducted with them. I only interject as necessary for clarity and to make transitions smoother.
** p. xiv

* I'm privileged to call many of these warriors friends. These are great Americans. They are heroes- even if they reject that title. Working on this venture with them has made me even more proud to be an American- which I didn't know was possible. These men and women are true patriots and true warriors. Like those before them, some may have joined the military for a cause or for the college money, but that soon became secondary to the brotherhood of war. When the bullets start flying, there are no Republicans or Democrats, whites or blacks- only brothers, the greatest of our men and women. This book is dedicated to everyone who has answered America's call. Who put it all on the line- and especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom. We never, ever forget them. Warriors forever, in life and death. May their stories live forever.
** p. xv

=== ''Battle for the American Mind'' (2022) ===

* But it's not just schools. Do yourself a favor and visit your local Barnes &amp; Noble bookstore. Check out the kids section, and notice what books are front and center. The last time I visited mine, of the forty children's books displayed, ''at least'' thirty were progressive, agenda-driven books. This bookstore was not in a &quot;liberal&quot; community- this was in a conservative area. Books by or about Michelle Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Kamala Harris were all front and center. There was ''A Is for Activist'' and multiple books about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. Gender and sexuality were well represented, not to be outdone by at least five books about climate change and the environment. It is nearly impossible, without really digging, to find books that contain patriotic, Christian, or conservative themes.
** p. 11

* '''During the writing of this book, America's two-decade war in Afghanistan came to an inglorious end. After thousands of lives lost, and trillions of dollars spent, the Islamist Taliban are back in charge. It's a humbling, if illuminating, reality. Like most Americans, I was eager for &quot;the folks who knocked those buildings down, to hear all of us soon,&quot; as President George W. Bush said atop the rubble of the World Trade Center in 2001. American military might quickly toppled the Taliban, and Al Qaeda scurried into Pakistan. What followed was a nineteen-year experiment in Afghanistan, during which I had a front-row seat.'''
** p. 54-55

* '''Americans were proud to see the images of Afghans- including women- holding up their purple-stained fingers as they went to the polls to &quot;elect&quot; their new government. Democracy had arrived in Afghanistan! Girls were going to school, women were working in government jobs, and religious fanatics were relegated to the hinterlands of the country. Except, as I saw firsthand in 2011- and the world saw ten years later, in the summer of 2021- it was all a mirage. None of it was real; it was a house of cards, destined to collapse.'''&lt;br&gt;Why? Conventional answers abound: the Afghan Army was built in the image of the American Army, unable to operate effectively without air support. Or the Afghan government was irredeemably corrupt and beholden to Western aid. Or, my personal favorite, &quot;the Americans have the watches, but we [the Taliban] have the time&quot;- American political will was destined to break. (Osama bin Laden did predict as much.) All of these explanations touch on aspects of America's failure, but none explain the deeper reason. For two decades of work to collapse in two weeks, something more fundamental was at play.
** p. 55

* I also have a chip on my shoulder as it relates to &quot;fancy pants&quot; private schools. You know, the ones with the fancy uniforms and family legacies. I don't like the so-called elite status, and I don't like the arrogance. Families pay their way in, in the hopes that their (average) kids will go to &quot;elite&quot; universities. That was my view of most private schools, and, frankly, it still is (excepting classical Christian schools, which reject these forms of elitism). Using money to get a progressive high school diploma in order to get privileged kids into a progressive university just reinforces the failing status quo- pumping more &quot;good kids&quot; into a system designed to turn them into obedient social justice warriors. This privileged path only reinforces the progressive pipeline and power structure.
** p. 240

* We all come at the subject of education- of &quot;school&quot;- with our own backgrounds. The Left calls this concept &quot;implicit bias.&quot; They cynically apply it to race and gender, but it's very true when it comes to schooling. The goal of this book has been to challenge our long-held assumptions- our biases- about what we think is good for kids, and good for this country.
** p. 240

* Just doing what we are doing, and hoping our kids turn out &quot;just fine,&quot; is not a strategy. I know many good families, good parents, who believe that living in a good neighborhood, with other good families, and going to &quot;good schools&quot; will insulate their kids. Instead, the story unfolds otherwise. The school tells students that their parents' beliefs are backward; they are young and naive if they hold traditional values, it's much easier to follow the crowd, social media reinforces every &quot;woke&quot; message, Hollywood does the same, and, voila, you have a high school graduate you don't recognize. Or, just as bad, a falsely fortified graduate who heads off to college and is completely consumed by the next level of &quot;woke&quot; educational and social pressure. If I had a dollar for every parent or grandparent who lamented as much to me during my travels, I would be a very rich man.
** p. 242

* As soon as I found classical Christian education, I realized how little I knew. I am a graduate of two of the most &quot;prestigious&quot; universities in America- Princeton and Harvard- yet I've never read most of the classics. Homer or Virgil, Plato or Aristotle? I've read next to nothing of them in school. I don't know a word of Latin or Greek, let alone really understanding the histories of Rome and Greece. I never had my faith infused into my education; it was always just an accessory. '''I can't properly diagram a single sentence, and couldn't tell you the difference between a verb and an adverb. I write like I speak. It just is what it is. We were all failed by our government schools, and we didn't even know it.'''
** p. 246

* During this project, I've visited many classical Christian schools as well. Some small, some large. Some urban, others rural. All of them are bursting at the seams and full of life. What strikes you when you enter them is how much more simple- or classic- they are aesthetically. The hallways and classrooms are simple, walls adorned with Bible verses, portraits of the founding fathers, cursive writing, and the American flag. If you enter a public school classroom, you are immediately hit with the opposite- bright colors and flowery slogans. At first the contrast seems stark, but it's intentional. The &quot;beauty&quot; in classical Christian schools is the knowledge and love of learning fostered in the classroom. The energy is not on the walls, but instead in the mission and the kids. It's the opposite of government schools, which have colorful walls and fancy technology, but an empty mission.
** p. 247-248

* The same thing goes for elite private schools, and many Catholic schools. Social justice has become the gospel for most parochial schools in our country. It's no better than government schools; in fact, in some ways it's worse. Government schools are silent on faith, but many religious schools are self-loathing- apologizing for our faith and our history. No matter the school, I know something for certain: two or three hours of &quot;church&quot; each week is not sufficient to counteract forty hours (or more) of social justice indoctrination. Following the crowd = enabling the enemy. Or, as the Left often puts it, status quo = complicit.
** p. 248

* More importantly, the state of our country right now requires future citizens who are more than survivors of progressive education. Our Republic cannot survive if future generations blindly follow the progressive pipeline and become ambivalent followers of conventional thinking. In this day and age, in 2022 America, our country needs leaders. We need fighters. We need men and women of wisdom and courage. We need the next generation of founding fathers. It's no wonder our culture and politics is so divisive, negative, and toxic today- it's all a product of the massive project turned Cultural Marxist Paideia. Most Americans don't know any better. A great example is Congresswoman &quot;Comrade&quot; Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; you can hardly blame her for her politics; she is a product of a system that worships what she preaches. She is not an outlier; she is the result.
** p. 248

* Without the grace of Jesus Christ, and of many others, I would not be here today. Our kids need Christ. We all need Christ. Without a grace-filled life with conviction, children cannot thrive- something I desperately want for my kids. The church, the school, and the family must be dedicated to the reality of God's grace alone, and each child's faith alone. The call to discipleship begins with faith, but this is where classical Christian education picks up. That faith can be made stronger when wisdom and virtue are cultivated.
** p. 250

* We've heard it before: get married, have lots of kids, and raise them in Christian homes. To that I add this: never let them set foot in progressive government schools. Break the cycle! Instead, join a movement- an insurgency- that contributes to something that will outlast your life. In an upside-down world, classical Christian education is the only comprehensive educational model that can restore our Western Christian Paideia, and give our kids at least a fighting chance to save America and Christendom. ''Join the insurgency!'' And then spread the word.
** p. 251

== Quotes about Hegseth ==

* Pete Hegseth is a ''New York Times'' bestselling author and the cohost of ''FOX &amp; Friends Weekend''- America's number one cable morning show. He is also the host of multiple FOX Nation documentaries, including ''The MisEducation of America''. Pete is an army combat veteran and proud father of seven children.
** About the author from ''The Battle for the American Mind'' (New York: Broadside Books, 2022) by Pete Hegseth with David Goodwin

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hegseth, Pete}}

[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:1980 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States Army people]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:Princeton University alumni]]
[[Category:Members of the Republican Party (United States)]]
[[Category:People from Minnesota]]
[[Category:Conservatives from the United States]]
[[Category:Political commentators from the United States]]</text>
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    <title>Wikiquote:Quote of the day/August 15, 2022</title>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;{| style=&quot;background: {{{color}}}&quot; | align=center | [[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|252px]] | align=center | &amp;nbsp; | align=center | {{quote of the day | quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates h...&quot;</comment>
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| align=center | [[File:Conversando con Salman Rushdie, Museo de la Ciudad de Mexico (15265500778).jpg|252px]]
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | {{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Those who [[oppose]] the novel most vociferously today are of the [[opinion]] that intermingling with a different [[culture]] will inevitably weaken and ruin their own. I am of the opposite opinion. ''[[The Satanic Verses]]'' celebrates hybridity, impurity, intermingling, the [[transformation]] that comes of new and unexpected combinations of [[human]] [[beings]], cultures, [[ideas]], [[politics]], [[movies]], [[songs]]. It rejoices in mongrelization and fears the [[absolutism]] of the Pure. Melange, hotchpotch, a bit of this and a bit of that is how newness enters the [[world]]. It is the great possibility that mass migration gives the world... ''The Satanic Verses'' is for change-by-fusion, change-by-conjoining. It is a [[love]] song to our mongrel [[selves]].
| author = Salman Rushdie
}}
| align=center | &amp;nbsp;
| align=center | [[File:Salman Rushdie 2018.jpg|321px]]
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  <page>
    <title>George Sumner Bridges</title>
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      <comment>A quote from George Sumner Bridges +ref</comment>
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      <text bytes="1056" xml:space="preserve">'''George Sumner Bridges''' (born 26 September 1950) is an American sociologist and academic administrator who served as the president of The Evergreen State College from October 2015 through Spring 2021.

== Quotes ==
* I'm George Bridges, I use he/him pronouns. I begin our time together today by acknowledging the indigenous people of the Medicine Creek Treaty, whose land was stolen and on which the college stands. I would like to acknowledge the Squaxin people who are the traditional custodians of this land and pay respect to elders past and present of the Squaxin Island Tribe. I extend that respect to other Native people present. In response to Native Student Alliance requests, we commit to opening every event with this acknowledgement.
** George Bridges. &quot;[https://www.evergreen.edu/news/post/2017/response-student-issues Response to Student Issues]&quot;, evergreen.edu, 26 May 2017.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bridges, George Sumner}}
[[Category:1950 births]]
[[Category:American sociologists]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
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      <text bytes="1135" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:George Sumner Bridges|George Sumner Bridges]]''' (born 26 September 1950) is an American sociologist and academic administrator who served as the president of the [[w:Evergreen State College|Evergreen State College]] from October 2015 through Spring 2021.

{{sociologist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* I'm George Bridges, I use he/him pronouns. I begin our time together today by acknowledging the indigenous people of the Medicine Creek Treaty, whose land was stolen and on which the college stands. I would like to acknowledge the Squaxin people who are the traditional custodians of this land and pay respect to elders past and present of the Squaxin Island Tribe. I extend that respect to other Native people present. In response to Native Student Alliance requests, we commit to opening every event with this acknowledgement.
** George Bridges. &quot;[https://www.evergreen.edu/news/post/2017/response-student-issues Response to Student Issues]&quot;, evergreen.edu, 26 May 2017.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bridges, George Sumner}}
[[Category:1950 births]]
[[Category:American sociologists]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
      <sha1>k9x2b1x4e4zd69wyqxuc62psjq15qaz</sha1>
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    <revision>
      <id>3154752</id>
      <parentid>3154751</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:07:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:American sociologists]]; added [[Category:Sociologists from the United States]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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      <text bytes="1149" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:George Sumner Bridges|George Sumner Bridges]]''' (born 26 September 1950) is an American sociologist and academic administrator who served as the president of the [[w:Evergreen State College|Evergreen State College]] from October 2015 through Spring 2021.

{{sociologist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* I'm George Bridges, I use he/him pronouns. I begin our time together today by acknowledging the indigenous people of the Medicine Creek Treaty, whose land was stolen and on which the college stands. I would like to acknowledge the Squaxin people who are the traditional custodians of this land and pay respect to elders past and present of the Squaxin Island Tribe. I extend that respect to other Native people present. In response to Native Student Alliance requests, we commit to opening every event with this acknowledgement.
** George Bridges. &quot;[https://www.evergreen.edu/news/post/2017/response-student-issues Response to Student Issues]&quot;, evergreen.edu, 26 May 2017.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bridges, George Sumner}}
[[Category:1950 births]]
[[Category:Sociologists from the United States]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
      <sha1>okkprehw0l0o9daf5ypbpf0e2nn57xo</sha1>
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      <parentid>3154752</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-15T01:07:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>added [[Category:Academics from the United States]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1195" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:George Sumner Bridges|George Sumner Bridges]]''' (born 26 September 1950) is an American sociologist and academic administrator who served as the president of the [[w:Evergreen State College|Evergreen State College]] from October 2015 through Spring 2021.

{{sociologist-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* I'm George Bridges, I use he/him pronouns. I begin our time together today by acknowledging the indigenous people of the Medicine Creek Treaty, whose land was stolen and on which the college stands. I would like to acknowledge the Squaxin people who are the traditional custodians of this land and pay respect to elders past and present of the Squaxin Island Tribe. I extend that respect to other Native people present. In response to Native Student Alliance requests, we commit to opening every event with this acknowledgement.
** George Bridges. &quot;[https://www.evergreen.edu/news/post/2017/response-student-issues Response to Student Issues]&quot;, evergreen.edu, 26 May 2017.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bridges, George Sumner}}
[[Category:1950 births]]
[[Category:Sociologists from the United States]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]</text>
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      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:29:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>archiving past material</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
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== Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] ==

You have recently [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Karl_Marx&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2910153 reverted my edits to Karl Marx]. I shortened the Carl Schurz quote on [[Karl Marx]] as I have other quotes.  The page is not well maintained.  Please consider contributing.  I don't appreciate being accused of censorship.  Please, follow [[WQ:FAITH]].  --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:24, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

And you've done it again with this edit comment:

: I have not yet checked the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on other entries — but the &quot;shortening&quot; you have done on this quote is DEFINITELY censorship — and quite apparently biased censorship — whatever you choose to call it.

Please refrain from accusations.  I'm shortening the quote for length not content.  That he held contempt for his enemies is well known.  Preserving the criticisms of Schurz seems sufficient for an obscure quote that is only listed in Google search results 8 times[https://www.google.com/search?q=marx+or+schurz+%22offensive%2C+insupportable+arrogance%22] --[[User:Ashawley|Ashawley]] ([[User talk:Ashawley|talk]]) 01:43, 31 December 2020 (UTC)

== Sock discussion ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}
I happened to see that a sock of yours created [[Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army]].  As you are probably aware the topic of socks is being discussed at [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#User:Babe_kebab]]  for quite some time now. I wonder why you have not participated in that discusion, since you don't seem to be shy about posting publicly about controversial issues? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 18:07, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

:{{ping|Ottawahitech}} Me too, I'd like to see the comments from Kalki and other admins about the lock and possible hounding of one of the most constructive editors of wikiquote. DanielTom has said that the only way he could get unlocked would be with help of others, and if admins who have seen that this is a very constructive editor who may have been unfairly locked, and a proposal or request could be made with support by admins, then it is more likely he will get unlocked. Because I have been busy I have not commented much but I will try to add some observations on this in the coming days or weeks.
:This is DanielToms comments:
::From what I have seen, and experienced first-hand years ago, stewards globally lock accounts with little or no critical thinking, simply following requests (sometimes raised by overzealous admins or other users with personal vendettas). Global locks are very difficult to appeal, at least without the help of other users. The users that are globally locked are not so much as notified, thus they cannot defend themselves prior to the global lock. Needless to say, this is a great injustice. ~ DanielTom (talk) 21:13, 26 December 2020 (UTC) 
 --&lt;small&gt;[[User talk:დამოკიდებულება|ო]]&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;sup&gt;[[Wikiquote:SheSaid|#SheSaid]]&lt;/sup&gt; 13:54, 2 February 2021 (UTC)

=== Why do you feel I am a &quot;malicious troll&quot; (swastikas)? ===

During dicussion at  the Village pump: '''Why are there so many pages with images containing a swastika on WQ?''' 

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Village_pump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2936254 you said this to me] On 18:42, 6 March 2021:
&lt;blockquote&gt;I have long suspected you to be, and increasingly perceive evidence of you very likely being very little more than a '''malicious troll''' around here, despite various forms of camouflage and acceptable edits.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I must say I was surprised when no one reacted to this egregious personal attack against me, and I started wondering if the comments that have been made about me, by people who do not normally participate in discussion at WQ but  who have also accused me of being a troll, have merit? I am particularly interested to know if the other admins at WQ  also feel that I am simply a malicious troll and that this is my sole motivation for my edits at WQ. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
:: You seem deeply offended by perceived personal attacks: have you never read any of Daniel Tom's edit summaries regarding me calling me incompetent on dozens of occasions within their edit summaries? DanielTom has also called me a troll, as I'm sure you can see for yourself by going through their edit history for about an hour and using control F. You quote DanielTom in the Sock discussion section of this page, care to comment on their behavior and how it differs, or doesn't,from the way you are allegedly being treated? I'm not surprised by the lack of a response, calling someone a [[troll]] is not one of the five and six letter words that gets you an instant ban on a website or risks disciplinary action in the world at large, unlike, say, calling someone another five letter [[mythical]] creature, [[fairy]], which many organizations' lawyers would consider to legally constitute a [[w:Hate crime|hate crime]]. &lt;br&gt; Also for the record I still find your edits to be generally lacking, although calling you mean names isn't going to change that. I find your insistence that you can't edit the page for [[Roe v. Wade]] yet can still continue to edit all the other pages without any problems rather bizarre as well. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== u chose war, war it shall be/enjoy as much as i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ==

u call me vandal (but you are the real vandal with super vandal antandrus who is also pretending to be somebody's mother and spoofing emails in her name) when i try to bring proper quote for wislawa, now im fighitng back on other site where u have no power, one good turn deserves another, stop it, or all your work will be gone:  commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Deletion_requests/File:Montaigne_-_c.1590_portrait.png {{unsigned|154.160.19.174|19:15, 13 March 2021 (UTC)}} 
: To anyone interested  — this asinine threat is an act of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects a long term abuser who has been vandalizing and trolling WMF sites since 2005], and seems to have returned to greater activity here lately. &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt;  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:46, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
&lt;!-- : o yea, dont you lie and what you are displaying is site created by antandrus that jimbo even told him not to create as it is done on purpose so he can use it to attack his imagine enemies like you are, and keep this conversation if you have balls, you are the super vandal here with antandrus (and his pals, bsadowski1, belwine, improvedWikiImprovment, dannyS712; vermont, el C, ponyo, etc... with massive privacy violations of an innocent man incubator.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Incubator:Administrators%27_noticeboard&amp;diff=5013391&amp;oldid=5011201) you have imagination like antandrus and no, this is happening because you are reverting the truth on wikslawa szymborska and her very famous saying on the dead which is everywhere not only here:  encyclopediasupr'me.org/Babcia/UmarlychWiecznoscTrwaPamiecia-WislawaSzymborska_JanLubek.jpg and here is proof of your blatant vandalism: how hard was it to keep her saying on how to remember the dead? how do you explain your super wikistupidity, this is no vandalism, you are the one who is causing disturbance: so prove me wrong, better yet be a man once in your life and thank me for wislawa's most important quote!!!! 

en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Wis%C5%82awa_Szymborska[[Special:Contributions/186.93.189.222|186.93.189.222]] 02:22, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
: i dont know whats going on, but why do you allow others to screw with your page, where is your ambition and honor kalki?[[Special:Contributions/41.236.74.203|41.236.74.203]] 10:36, 14 March 2021 (UTC) --&gt;
: Further info on this user, for those puzzled by his incoherent ravings: 
:: '''[[w:Wikipedia:Long-term_abuse/Projects|Long term abuser &quot;Projects&quot;]] is a &quot;Globally banned user''': Foundation Global Ban- do not reinstate. Questions can be directed to trustandsafety@wikimedia.org.&quot;
:: '''He is [[:m:Special:Diff/18480443|banned by the Wikimedia Foundation]] and may not edit any Wikimedia project. All accounts/IPs should be globally locked/blocked on sight.'''
:: Responding to this editor or even just blocking him may open you up to long-term harassment and direct threats. If you feel unsafe, you may contact the Chicago police for help.
: I know that I myself have witnessed but a very small portion of the copious amounts of harassment, trolling, direct or indirect vandal-spam to external sites, and contemptible threats which he has directed at MANY individuals on various sites over many years, and can assert I truly find him to be a pitiably and pathetically deluded human being. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC) + tweak
: For many years he has regularly posted &quot;diffs&quot; to various postings of his ravings on Wikimedia wikis, and often now also posts links to various external sites where he has posted rants and ravings about &quot;THE ETERNAL TRUTH ON WIKI-PEDO-IA, WIKISCUM, WIKIHYPOCRITES, WIKILOWLIFES, WIKINOBODIES, ETC!!!&quot; &lt;small&gt; ''So it goes...''&lt;/small&gt; ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:13, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

==Blocking FunhausFrank's tr011 and Geraldo Perez 2.0.5 ==
Hi, can you take action against the users [[User talk:FunhausFrank's tr011|FunhausFrank's tr011]] and [[User talk:Geraldo Perez 2.0.5|Geraldo Perez 2.0.5]]. They have been reportedly engaging in vandalistic behaviour towards my talk page and [[Korean Air Lines Flight 007]]. I tried to revert FunhausFrank's tr011's vandalistic edits, but he has not stopping and reverting my edits. Geraldo Perez 2.0.5, who is falsely masquerading as a Wikiquote administartor, is adding message to my talk page saying that I have been blocked with racist messages added on the reasons for being blocked, which is clearly an evidence of rogue user engaging in behaviour of vandalism. From their behaviour, these three users seems to be spam users or bots.

Hope you can take action against these users ASAP. [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:41, 01 September 2021 (PST)
: These accounts have now been permanently blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:53, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
:: Thank you so much ! [[User:Toadboy123|Toadboy123]] ([[User talk:Toadboy123|talk]]) 16:58, 1 September 2021 (PST)

== quote of the day [[Baruch Spinoza]] ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}

Just to let you know: I try to find the time to look up the [[WQ quote of the day]]. When I did this today I discovered I could not look at the souce of the quote.

Cheers, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 16:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
: The current link in the Spinoza article to ''Tractatus Politicus'' as translated by A. H. Gosset (1883) does appear to be dead at this point; I don’t presently have time to seek another one, as I must be leaving soon — but will seek one after I return.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

== Sun Tzu ==

From Wikipedia:
“The Art of War (Chinese: 孫子兵法) is an ancient Chinese military treatise dating from the Late Spring and Autumn Period (roughly 5th century BC). The work, which is attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu (&quot;Master Sun&quot;, also spelled Sunzi), is composed of 13 chapters. Each one is devoted to a different set of skills (or &quot;art&quot;) related to warfare and how it applies to military strategy and tactics. For almost 1,500 years it was the lead text in an anthology that was formalized as the Seven Military Classics by Emperor Shenzong of Song in 1080. The Art of War remains the most influential strategy text in East Asian warfare[1] and has influenced both Far Eastern and Western military thinking, business tactics, legal strategy, lifestyles and beyond.” (Again: Sun Tzu: Wikipedia)

Me: Regardless who “The Art of War” is ULTIMATELY attributed to, or NOT…The saying: “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.” is arguably contained in that body of work.
That is simple history. 
Attributing this phrase to a movie from the 70’s is LAUGHABLE, as is your reasoning that anything discovered by research in this millennium CANNOT by definition trump “research” from the 70’s, come on! (So sorry to put it as directly as that…”extensibly researched.”) 
ADMINISTRATIVE (¿how are you even allowed?) retrogress, such as YOU have demonstrated, is the VERY reason people CANNOT quote Wikipedia without derision thrown back at them!
Change it back…or lose a donor. Additionally, I promise I will NEVER use your site, defend it to others, and will even JOIN the naysayers (and tell them why—how you DON’T even use Wikipedia’s own data to publish accurate articles). [[User:JaneDoeSelvidge|JaneDoeSelvidge]] ([[User talk:JaneDoeSelvidge|talk]]) 07:08, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
: It is relatively simple to seek historical records on the internet, and to this day, though the phrase is now OFTEN over-confidentally attributed to &quot;Sun Tzu&quot; and the Art of War, or sometimes Machiavelli or Petrarch — there remains NO publication yet located where the phrase or even phrases to precisely that point occur prior to it's use in the 1974 film ''Godfather II''. That is the fact which prompted the declaration of the attribution to Sun Tzu's Art of War a highly popular ERROR, and that remains a fact which makes that a valid assertion. It might be very easy to say that it is &quot;arguably contained in that body of work&quot;  — but it is much more difficult to genuinely FIND any instance of the phrase in ANY actual translation of the work prior to 1974, or so far as I know, even in any genuine translation since. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:13, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

== Mail ==

I've sent you an email. Thanks, --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:11, 24 December 2021 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>60kv5ak9m1q18thximned0ufth2488u</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Kalki/2022</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>250075</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3154737</id>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:31:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>archiving past material</comment>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22295" xml:space="preserve">== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>grhjzn6mjkz28oukm828iqd49eabxdd</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3154740</id>
      <parentid>3154737</parentid>
      <timestamp>2022-08-14T23:41:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22303" xml:space="preserve">== How we will see unregistered users ==

&lt;section begin=content/&gt;
Hi!

You get this message because you are an admin on a Wikimedia wiki.

When someone edits a Wikimedia wiki without being logged in today, we show their IP address. As you may already know, we will not be able to do this in the future. This is a decision by the Wikimedia Foundation Legal department, because norms and regulations for privacy online have changed.

Instead of the IP we will show a masked identity. You as an admin '''will still be able to access the IP'''. There will also be a new user right for those who need to see the full IPs of unregistered users to fight vandalism, harassment and spam without being admins. Patrollers will also see part of the IP even without this user right. We are also working on [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation/Improving tools|better tools]] to help.

If you have not seen it before, you can [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|read more on Meta]]. If you want to make sure you don’t miss technical changes on the Wikimedia wikis, you can [[m:Global message delivery/Targets/Tech ambassadors|subscribe]] to [[m:Tech/News|the weekly technical newsletter]].

We have [[m:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation#IP Masking Implementation Approaches (FAQ)|two suggested ways]] this identity could work. '''We would appreciate your feedback''' on which way you think would work best for you and your wiki, now and in the future. You can [[m:Talk:IP Editing: Privacy Enhancement and Abuse Mitigation|let us know on the talk page]]. You can write in your language. The suggestions were posted in October and we will decide after 17 January.

Thank you. 
/[[m:User:Johan (WMF)|Johan (WMF)]]&lt;section end=content/&gt;

18:14, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Johan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Johan_(WMF)/Target_lists/Admins2022(3)&amp;oldid=22532499 --&gt;

== Quote of the Day for March 4 ==

Just an FYI: I added a new suggestion for the [[March 4]] Quote of the Day by [[Buzz Aldrin]].  I think it would work well paired with today's Quote of the Day for March 3 in light of global events.  [[User:Nicole Sharp|Nicole Sharp]] ([[User talk:Nicole Sharp|talk]]) 22:10, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
:  Thanks for your suggestion. I considered it, but for several days had been intending to quote some of the comments of UN ambassador [[Linda Thomas-Greenfield]] and a few other international diplomats on recent events. I have started a page for her today, and hope to have time to add a bit more to it in coming days. I would recommend placing your suggestion on the [[January 20]] QOTD suggestion page, where I would probably rank it a 3, with a strong lean toward 4. I will keep it in mind, as events proceed, but am likely to generally use quotes more specific to to the present crises caused by [[Putin]]'s decision to initiate the [[w:2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|Russian invasion of Ukraine]], for many of the coming days. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:58, 4 March 2022 (UTC)

== Block request ==

Please block [[Special:Contributions/2604:CB00:1A34:DA00:5193:94B7:41A3:21FC|them]]. Thank you. --&lt;span style=&quot;text-shadow: 2px 2px 4px #73C9FF; font-size: 106%;&quot;&gt;[[User:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: black&quot;&gt;Victor Trevor&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; ([[User_talk:Victor Trevor|&lt;span style=&quot;color: green&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/span&gt;]]) 15:06, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

== Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

{{ping|Kalki}}

Can you please delete my page on Encyclopedic Dramatic, it's not real. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:32, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
: I am not actually sure what you are requesting — I am not an active member of that non-WMF project, wherever some online version of it might exist, and the article page which exists regarding it here &quot;[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]&quot;, though it has little merit or activity related to it, there is not actually much to delete, or in urgent need of deletion.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:51, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::GRP made page saying stuff against me and then locked it. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] | [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
::: The constant crap that GRP regularly indulges in and promotes is ultimately of little real consequence, and wherever it exists, few people take actual note of it. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:55, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== [[Russia]] being larger than Pluto ==

While I respect your point of view, it is already written that Russia encompasses 1/8 of Earth's inhabited surface. Why not add more to it, to make the reader grasp the massiveness. You probably feel what I mean. --[[User:Spafky|Spafky]] ([[User talk:Spafky|talk]]) 07:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

== Am I a bad editor? ==

I hope this isn't too blunt a question to ask, and you don't have to answer; but you said I made some good edits a few years ago: is that still true? [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 03:09, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
:: I believe that I probably commented to the effect that though many of your edits have often added overly extensive tracts on abstruse matters, which are often hard to look upon favorably, some of your edits have been worthy additions. I actually am far less involved in reviewing most edits of anyone here than I once was, and usually have only dealt with QOTD work and whatever obvious vandalism I encounter in my generally brief checks in on the site. For quite some time I have not been online very much of the day, though that might change a bit at times in the coming year or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:44, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
::: I believe now, as before, that is a [[fair]] assessment. Some of my edits recently have been excessively detailed: when discussing decades of time and millions of people, it would really be much easier just to view that information as a graph than describing those changes verbally, although I've been working on a topic that is [[notorious]] for how [[obsessive]] people are concerning it. I am having great [[difficulty]] determining what it is with this subject that people actually consider to be worth repeating, outside of sound bites from [[politicians]], lengthy diatribes from [[religious]] [[authorities]] and equally lengthy [[legal]] [[decisions]]. Normally I find [[scientists]] very concise in summarizing their findings in the introduction and conclusion sections of scientific papers, in a way that is presentable to the general public; but in this particular area it's not so much about proving or disproving a [[hypothesis]] than it is about providing numerous [[observations]] through raw [[data]], and that tends to be as monumental as it is [[neutral]]. [[User:CensoredScribe|CensoredScribe]] ([[User talk:CensoredScribe|talk]]) 23:46, 14 June 2022 (UTC) 
&lt;!-- == &lt;s&gt;{{ds|New one}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|What if 2020 was a person? Any actions? — [[special:contribs/4.1.103.34|4.1.103.34]] 04:14, 7 June 2022 (UTC)}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Help}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|Dear Kalki I need your help. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:45, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
On English Wikipedia can you restore the 2010s content and the 2020s content for the history section of
the article horror? [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 01:54, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
}}

== &lt;s&gt;{{ds|Horror film}}&lt;/s&gt; ==

{{qs|I mean come on a 2010s to present content on the history section of the horror film article and a 2010s-present section on the history of
horror films article that doesn't make on both articles somebody's got to fix them both. [[special:contribs/2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3|2600:387:C:7133:0:0:0:3]] 02:15, 8 June 2022 (UTC)}} --&gt; 
== May 1 ==

Could you rate my suggestion to [[May 1]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:35, 17 June 2022 (UTC)

== Your feedback matters: Share your feedback in the Administratior accountability poll ==

[[File:Information.svg|25x25px]] The Administratior accountability poll is open, vote [[Wikiquote:Admin accountability poll|here]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:49, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Village Pump ==

Could you please go vote on the latest question on the Village Pump? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 21:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

== Ping ==

The Template I added to the user you just blocked was intended to ping you, did it work? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not WMF, Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus, Not a paid editor of Shueisha) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:43, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
: Probably -- I am currently having major problems with some hardware, and about to shut my computer down. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:50, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

== Please ==

Can you please review my suggestion on [[May 1]]? (it’s at the bottom) – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:50, 23 June 2022 (UTC)

== May 1 ==

Thank you giving my quote '3', very much appreciated, but I was wondering, what exactly do you not like about the quote? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 02:35, 25 June 2022 (UTC)

:{{ping|Kalki}} [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:06, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:: I was just about to leave, as I was in a bit of a hurry, and could possibly not be back in time to do the QOTD later, so I did it already, when I noticed your ping to urgently answer a rather inane question you asked a few days ago. I am taking the time now, to reply to that, at some likely inconvenience and trouble at being later than I wished at leaving, and to make a few points before I go. You ask &quot;what exactly do you not like about the quote?&quot; which is a rather strained assessment of a &quot;3&quot; ranking which designates &quot;Very Good - strong desire to see it used&quot;, as contrasted with a &quot;4&quot; for &quot;Excellent - should definitely be used&quot; or a &quot;2&quot; for &quot;Good - some desire to see it used.&quot; I rarely rank ANYTHING a 4, until the final assessments just prior to selecting a QOTD, because for me, nothing is &quot;definite&quot; until then; I sometimes indicate &quot;a lean toward a 4&quot;, among those I generally have most regard for, but not always. There is nothing I do not like about the quote, as I can see it has relevance to the date, but I do not consider it necessarily or &quot;definitely&quot; the best choice to be used, and certainly do not wish to indicate such a thing at this point. I see that you have shortened the message in your signature, which is something I was definitely going to advise you to eliminate or change, for several reasons, which I will not now fully get into; but I would recommend even the remaining statement be eliminated also, as it seems to be an incident of &quot;feeding the trolls&quot; — as such accusations are a common one, among a particular troll-vandal who needs not be specified. I have delayed a bit more than I had intended, and am leaving now. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 20:29, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Okay, I did not realize that, I thought you only chose quotes that were a '4'. Thanks for the rating and explanation. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet of Antandrus) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:38, 2 July 2022 (UTC)
:::Also, signature fixed. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:39, 2 July 2022 (UTC)

== Main Page issue, help needed ==

The Main Page is missing a QOTD! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:30, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

== Achim110 ==

The block time seems a bit excessive. Also, no reason to disable his talk page as it wasn't abused. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 20:46, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
: The account was very clearly a &quot;vandalism-only&quot; account, with various non-relevant postings to various created pages, and deliberate misplacement and alteration of information to cause confusion on those and an existing page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:47, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== QOTD ==

QOTD is missing! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:23, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
: This was attended to, even while this was being posted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

== Question about edit summaries ==

What does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:43, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
: I usually make a final ranking shift of quotes when I am about to select any for QOTD, and usually, but not always, make a ranking shift of 4 to the one I select; as I stated earlier, I rarely rank any a 4 prior to my final ranking. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::What is a &quot;ranking shift&quot;? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:47, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::: It is a change of one's ranking of a quote within the 5 tier (0 - 4) ranking options provided on the suggestion pages for QOTD for any particular date. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::I still don’t understand what &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; means. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:04, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::: It is a shift in my ranking on one quote; usually as the first step in my final selection and posting process; sometimes I do shift rankings on more than one at a time, but not often; and in such cases I might indicate &quot;ranking shift on 2&quot;, or &quot;ranking shifts&quot;. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:50, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::So what does &quot;ranking shift on 1&quot; mean? That you are changing one ranking? That you are doing your first round of changing? That you are changing a ranking up one? Or something else? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:57, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::: As I state in my reply above: &quot;It is a shift [or change] in my ranking on one quote&quot; — not more or less. As auto-fill sometimes kicks in the edit summary box, there are possibly occasional errors because of it, as I do my final postings of various edits, but that is a relatively rare occurence. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
::::::::Got it. Also, could you do [[User talk:Ningauble#Undeletion|this]]? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 00:06, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
: There is no need for an &quot;undelete and then move&quot; — if you are going to create and use a category, just create the category and use it, where appropriate; any pages tagged with the category will show up in it. I do not believe that Wikipedia uses &quot;Motswana&quot; in any of its category designations, generalizing with the more familiar national designations of &quot;Botswana people&quot; or specifying with the less familiar cultural designation of &quot;Tswana people&quot;. I have already spent more time clarifying some things here than I had intended — as I initially was planning to leave immediately after choosing a QOTD, but though my plans have now changed, I must be leaving soon. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:27, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

== VIP ==

Please check [[WQ:VIP]]. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:06, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: I checked it, and I believe it most likely you have rapidly jumped the gun on at least one of those reports, and technically the other also, but I am in no hurry to act on either matter at this point. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:13, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::What about the potential sock? – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:18, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::: That is the one which technically might be considered jumping the gun; I am aware it is very likely some vandal, as many often use gibberish for names, but as no edit has yet been made, I am in no hurry to act on that. The other, where you deleted the posting of what seems to very likely have been someone merely not realizing they were not logged in, is another I do not consider of great urgency either. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:23, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::::The second one, the one who edited someone else's comment. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:26, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
: OMFG — how effing dense are you? ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
::Sorry, I originally thought you meant the first one. Sorry! – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 23:30, 17 July 2022 (UTC)</text>
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      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[File:Aditi Gowitrikar 2.jpg|thumb|Govitrikar in 2011]]  '''{{w|Aditi Govitrikar}}''' (born [[21 May]] [[1976]]) is an Indian actress, physician and former model.  {{actor-stub}} == Quotes == * Being a doctor, as well as a model, I know that eating [[Vegetarianism|veg]] is the first and most important ingredient in keeping fit. If you eat chicken or other meat, you’re consuming toxins, fat, and cholesterol. Veg food is powered with all the vitamins and protein you nee...&quot;</comment>
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'''{{w|Aditi Govitrikar}}''' (born [[21 May]] [[1976]]) is an Indian actress, physician and former model.

{{actor-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* Being a doctor, as well as a model, I know that eating [[Vegetarianism|veg]] is the first and most important ingredient in keeping fit. If you eat chicken or other meat, you’re consuming toxins, fat, and cholesterol. Veg food is powered with all the vitamins and protein you need to be at your best.
** [https://www.petaindia.com/blog/supermodel-aditi-govitrikar-says-let-vegetarianism-grow/ &quot;Supermodel Aditi Govitrikar Says, ‘Let Vegetarianism Grow on You’&quot;], [[People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals|PETA]] (12 August 2000).

* As a promoter of vegetarianism, I think it’s important to realise that we don’t own this planet, we’re co-existing with animals and so we need to have compassion for every co-member of the planet. We should be kind to plants as well.
** [https://www.femina.in/celebs/indian/the-inspiring-multi-talented-aditi-govitrikar-walks-us-through-her-mould-breaking-life-choices-216340.html &quot;Multi-Talented Aditi Govitrikar Talks About Her Mould-Breaking Life Choices&quot;], ''[[w:Femina (India)|Femina]]'' (7 January 2022).

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Govitrikar, Aditi}}
[[Category:1976 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Actresses from India]]
[[Category:Models from India]]
[[Category:People from Mumbai]]
[[Category:Physicians from India]]
[[Category:Vegetarianism activists]]</text>
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